Wikiquote:Village pump

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== Help needed ==

Originally when GRP create the ED page I forgot about it, now he's doing it again, could someone help get it deleted? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:51, 1 July 2022 (UTC)

:The harder you try, the more likely it is to remain, and the more people will want to look at it. It's like that old fable of trying to catch your breath by running after it.
:My advice: let it go. Let it go. Let - it - go. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 17:40, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Antandrus}} {{done}} will do that, thanks for the advice. Also, I got a message from them as well, [https://encyclopediadramatica.online/User:MarioMario456/talk3 here]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:34, 2 July 2022 (UTC)

== Results of Wiki Loves Folklore 2022 is out! ==

&lt;div lang=&quot;en&quot; dir=&quot;ltr&quot; class=&quot;mw-content-ltr&quot;&gt;
{{int:please-translate}}
[[File:Wiki Loves Folklore Logo.svg|right|150px|frameless]]

Hi, Greetings

The winners for '''[[c:Commons:Wiki Loves Folklore 2022|Wiki Loves Folklore 2022]]''' is announced!

We are happy to share with you winning images for this year's edition. This year saw over 8,584 images represented on commons in over 92 countries. Kindly see images '''[[:c:Commons:Wiki Loves Folklore 2022/Winners|here]]'''

Our profound gratitude to all the people who participated and organized local contests and photo walks for this project.

We hope to have you contribute to the campaign next year.

'''Thank you,'''

'''Wiki Loves Folklore International Team'''

--[[User:MediaWiki message delivery|MediaWiki message delivery]] ([[User talk:MediaWiki message delivery|talk]]) 16:12, 4 July 2022 (UTC)

&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Tiven2240@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Distribution_list/Non-Technical_Village_Pumps_distribution_list&amp;oldid=23454230 --&gt;

== QOTD ==

&lt;span style=&quot;position: absolute; {{#ifeq:{{{hide}}}|false||{{#ifeq:{{{hide}}}|no||visibility: hidden;}}}}&quot;&gt;@[[User:Aphaia]] @[[User:BD2412]] @[[User:DannyS712]] @[[User:Ferien]] @[[User:GreenMeansGo]] @[[User:Illegitimate Barrister]] @[[User:Jusjih]] @[[User:Kalki]] @[[User:Koavf]] @[[User:Mdd]] @[[User:Miszatomic]] @[[User:Ningauble]] @[[User:Pmlineditor]] @[[User:UDScott]] @[[User:Ilovemydoodle]]&lt;/span&gt; The Main Page is missing a QOTD! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:30, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

:Nice find. I made a redirect for the time being. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:32, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Wow! That was fast. Also, surprised that managed to slip through. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:47, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Also, did you get pinged? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:48, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::did and got an email in my inbox. Thanks! —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:49, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|koavf}} Why did you get an email? (I didn't send one) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:02, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::[[Special:Preferences#mw-prefsection-watchlist]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:26, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|Koavf}} Huh? I don't see an email option there. Also, could you please deal with the massive backlog over at [[WQ:VIP]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:36, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::My bad: [[Special:Preferences#mw-prefsection-echo]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:40, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:Could you not ping all the admins in your message? This left me rather confused as there was no visible ping and I wasn't involved. If something needs urgent admin attention, please go to [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:18, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:: +1. Please do not ping multitudes of people at once, and please do not ''hide'' invisible pings so nobody can see what is going on. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 20:15, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Abuse Filter feedback ==

What are you thoughts on [[User talk:Koavf#Abuse Filter|my proposed additions to the Abuse Filter]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:44, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|Koavf|Ferien|Antandrus|UDScott}} Thoughts? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:21, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::I've edited the abuse filter before, but I'm not a whiz at it. Note that blocking edits outright based on some of these filters would certainly disrupt standard editing. I feel like this is probably not the best way to stop vandalism and would want to get more consensus from the community. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:28, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Which in particular concern you? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:40, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::I could easily see someone writing &quot;globally blocked&quot; and tripping an abuse filter tag or your username for that matter. Of course, some settings in the abuse filter will completely block an edit from happening and others will just log that it occurred, but either way is not desirable: stopping legitimate edits is bad and a log that is full of false positives is bad. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:42, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} In my request it says that &quot;globally blocked&quot; would only trip it if it was in that specific capitalization (all letters capitalized). – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:50, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::But also &quot;globally blocked lta&quot; (any capitalization) and &quot;et al&quot;? Those are totally valid words that could be used. Also, as I recall, the edit filter takes a toll for computing on the backend, so it's best to not have many edit filter entries. I could be wrong about that, tho. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:03, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Well it says that it is only applies non-auto confirmed, so not that big of a deal. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:24, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I could easily imagine a not auto-confirmed user writing &quot;et al&quot;. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:26, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|koavf}} {{done|Fixed}}&amp;nbsp; Any others remaining that you are still concerned about? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:29, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::thx/thanx would probably be it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:41, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{ping|koavf}} {{done|Fixed}}&amp;nbsp; Any more? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:52, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::I don't think so. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:02, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{ping|koavf}} So, do you support now? And can you add it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:05, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::This still needs consensus and I believe that the edit filter has a kind of high toll, so I'm still on the fence. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:07, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::{{ping|koavf}} High toll in terms of what? Also, (roughly) how many for votes for a consensus for something like this? 1? 2? 3? 5? 10? 100? The entire population of the United States?{{humor inline}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:09, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::Sorry that I was unclear: I've had a hard time sleeping. What I mean is that, in my recollection, the filter needs to do a lot of computing work, since it needs to review the contents of every edit in real time, so adding a lot of filter rules is advised against. I could be wrong, again, I'm not an edit filter whiz, but I have edited it a little on a couple of projects. Plus, as I called out before, there's a kind of human toll where you may end up with false positives or blocking edits that are valid and that takes manual oversight, so it's hard to know exactly what ruels will result in the most efficient use of time. As for how many are needed for consensus, I don't have a hard number in mind, but I would like to leave this open for a few weeks and I hope get a few others giving feedback, since I'm not terribly confident about my skills with the filter. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I'm failing to see the point in even adding that to the abuse filter now you have made it public. The reason the abuse filter is private is to make sure LTAs have a hard time trying to edit. Not simply noticing &quot;oh I can't say these words so let me change my behaviour/what I say&quot;. This LTA is always trying to get past the abuse filter and sometimes succeeds. There is a reason this abuse filter is rarely discussed on-wiki. Discussing abuse filters should not be on talk pages, let alone anywhere near the village pump. -[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:54, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass ==

:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi all,

Community members in the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] are invited to [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass|propose statements to use in the Election Compass.]]

An Election Compass is a tool to help voters select the candidates that best align with their beliefs and views. The community members will propose statements for the candidates to answer using a Lickert scale (agree/neutral/disagree). The candidates’ answers to the statements will be loaded into the Election Compass tool. Voters will use the tool by entering in their answer to the statements (agree/disagree/neutral). The results will show the candidates that best align with the voter’s beliefs and views.

Here is the timeline for the Election Compass:

July 8 - 20: Community members propose statements for the Election Compass

July 21 - 22: Elections Committee reviews statements for clarity and removes off-topic statements

July 23 - August 1: Volunteers vote on the statements

August 2 - 4: Elections Committee selects the top 15 statements

August 5 - 12: candidates align themselves with the statements

August 15: The Election Compass opens for voters to use to help guide their voting decision

The Elections Committee will select the top 15 statements at the beginning of August. The Elections Committee will oversee the process, supported by the Movement Strategy and Governance team. MSG will check that the questions are clear, there are no duplicates, no typos, and so on.

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 13:30, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

== Add template editor right ==

Some of the most used templates here are protected so only admins can edit, which is important for stopping vandalism, but, a lot of potential for fixes and improvements within these pages is also lost because of it. So, do you think that a separate template editor right should be added? (I'm not specifically talking about me, and by &quot;improvements&quot; I don't mean radical changes) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:30, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:I'm generally in favor of breaking off some of the admin user rights for individuals who have skills and motivation to do certain technical work (templates, interface admin) without doing things like blocking, protecting pages, deleting, etc. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:21, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:This seems like a good idea to me. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 02:54, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support''' – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support with caveat''' - Does this differ from 'interface editor' on other projects? [[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 14:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} What is 'interface editor'? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 14:47, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::: [[m:Interface_editors]][[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 15:26, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} Yes, very different, 'template editor' only includes the right to edit protected templates. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:28, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*I don't really consider myself much apart of the enwikiq community, but while I'm here just dropping a tech note. &quot;template editor&quot; currently would do nothing, for it to be useful the community would need to decide they want another protection level (normally more stringent than &quot;semiprotected&quot; and less stringent than &quot;protected&quot;); then administrators would need to actual configure this protection level on pages.  The community would need to determine how this new template editing access should be managed (normally it is &quot;by administrators&quot; technically, with varying local policy rules that you would determine), then add this group to editors that you want to be able to edit the pages that are protected at that level.  Most &quot;smaller&quot; (in terms of active editing communities) don't bother with this, the none/semi-protected/fully-protected scheme is sufficient. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:32, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Oppose'''. Per [[Special:ProtectedPages]] There are currently 84 fully protected templates and no fully protected modules on this wiki. I do not think it is a good use of time to set up a user group, assign it to people and pages, create policies about use/abuse/granting/revocation, update everything else that comes along with big changes in user rights (templates, scripts, policy, help pages, interface messages, etc) when this new protection level will probably be used on 30-40 pages and will be probably only be granted to 1 or 2 people, it just seems like a lot of extra bureaucracy for not much benefit. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:27, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::Noting here that only 12 projects have template editor rights enabled, and one of those is the testing wiki. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:50, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''Oppose''' Fundamentally tainted proposal given the proposer's propensity to propose new user groups seemingly for the sake of doing so rather than to fill any actual need. [[User:Pppery|Pppery]] ([[User talk:Pppery|talk]]) 03:10, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Pppery}} I have had many occasions where this right would be useful for me. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:13, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Pppery}} Please see [[w:WP:HYE|WP:HYE]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:21, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Is this really a valid reason to vote against something? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Any reason could be valid, but I don't think this is a very compelling reason for a no and were I closing this conversation, I don't know that I would count this as being very on-topic. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:46, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

== Add revision importer right ==

{{discussion-closed-top|Withdrawn and starting new vote}}
{{center|{{Ombox|image=&amp;nbsp;|text=&lt;h3&gt;Voting results as of July 17, 2022&lt;/h2&gt;{{Election results|alliance1=Support|aspan1=4|atotal4=3|apct1=50%|party1=Support|votes1=2|party2=Strong Support|votes2=0|party3=Weak Support|votes3=1|alliance5=Oppose|aspan5=4|atotal8=5|party5=Oppose|votes5=4|party6=Strong Oppose|votes6=0|party7=Weak Oppose|votes7=1|alliance9=Other|aspan9=4|atotal12=2|vatotal12=0|party9=Neutral|votes9=2|vatotal9=0|party10=Withdrawn/re-submitted/invalid|votes10=0|party11=Comment/question|votes11=0|color1=#20ff20|color2=#008e00|color3=#72ff72|color5=#ff0000|color6=#a80000|color7=#ff6868|color9=yellow|color10=black|color11=#efefef|valid=8|invalid=2}}}}}}

{{ping|koavf}} This is still in very early stages, but here is a proposal for a new user group containing the following rights:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt;
* The ability to self-revoke the right from yourself.
What do you think so far? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:27, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

=== Potential concerns ===

=== Comments ===

:It's not obvious to me why all of these are lumped together and it seems like straight up importer would work, if the community thought it was necessary or a bureaucrat/steward saw fit to give someone the right. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:22, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Well, I am posting this in hopes of getting it approved on phab. Also for the explanations:
::* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; Self-explanatory.
::* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; Self-explanatory.
::* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; Useful for advanced importing.
::* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; For merging older revisions into page that were not originally imported.
::* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; In case the rate limit triggers from sending too much data.
::* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Basic right.
::* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; If a page imported page needs to be moved without redirect.
::* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; Security reasons as with other user groups.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:34, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I'm fine with it. If you file a ticket at [[phab:]], they will want to see more consensus than this before changing the site preferences. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:33, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Thank you! I  needed to post this here to get consensus and to get feedback on possible improvements. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:34, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Also, do you think this right should be granted by stewards or bureaucrats? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:35, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I don't see why this should have to escalate all the way up to stewards. I think the only rights that should be like that are CheckUser and Oversight, but I know that I'm in the minority on that. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:43, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|koavf}} Wait, what rights other than those two require stewards? Also, I do agree with you. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:51, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::E.g. bureaucrats cannot remove any rights other than those that admins can and the bot flag. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 11:17, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support''' – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:12, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
:&lt;s&gt;'''Neutral''' - I don't know that this is really needed, but I'm not as familiar with the way things work here on Wikiquote. Maybe there's a need that isn't covered by the importers user group? Maybe that group should be modified to include these additional rights? I don't know, so I'm neutral on this proposal. [[User:Nihonjoe|Nihonjoe]] ([[User talk:Nihonjoe|talk]]) 22:15, 13 July 2022 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; Changed to oppose.
::'''Oppose''', for several reasons.
::#I think you're going out of your way to harass anyone who is voting against (or in my case, neutral about) your proposal. Your attempts to strike Ferien's vote (or any of the votes of others whose reasons you deem &quot;invalid&quot;) are especially disturbing. How about you let people have opinions that differ from yours, and leave it at that? 
::#The gigantic warning (added and continually made more obnoxious with each edit [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143520 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143522 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143526 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143527 here], and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143528 here] is completely unnecessary and only serves to make you look unhinged.
::#As others have pointed out, you don't seem to fully grasp how the various user rights work, and your proposal contains a lot of unnecessary rights bundled together apparently because you want all of the bundled rights and not because they serve any useful general purpose bundled together as proposed.
::#Going off the last point, you have repeatedly failed to express valid reasons how this would be useful to anyone other than yourself.
::For all these reasons (and probably a few others I forgot while typing this), I don't see any valid need for this new user group. [[User:Nihonjoe|Nihonjoe]] ([[User talk:Nihonjoe|talk]]) 08:34, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Seems okay'''; not really sure why it is needed, but I don't seen any compelling reason for not, so I guess that's a tentative support. Open to persuasion if I am missing something. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 02:53, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Antandrus}} Here is some more information/context:
::&lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; I regularly need to import a lot of templates (including revisions), so this would be nice.
::&lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; Useful for doing the above automatically, mass-importing pages from another wiki, or importing multiple levels deep.
::&lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; Useful for advanced importing.
::&lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; For merging older revisions into page that were not originally imported.
::&lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; If a page/template you are importing contains/is on the blacklist.
::&lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; In case you trigger the rate limit for creating too many pages.
::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Basic right. Also, similar to above.
::&lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; Deleting a page after it has been merged.
::&lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; Same as above.
::&lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; Security reasons as with other user groups.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:06, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Oppose''' Import is quite a dangerous tool. On Simple English Wikipedia we do have the importer right but it is rarely used or given out, mainly because you have to be really trusted to use it. Seeing as import could cause so much damage and that damage isn't really reversible without admin tools, you have to have a very large amount of trust in someone to give them import, and at that point if you can trust them so much to use import properly, why not give admin so they can clear up any mess they might make as well. While this is the general attitude on simplewiki, it applies to any WMF site. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:56, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Ferien}} Yes, it is a powerful tool, but why are you against this? If it is dangerous, we'll just be extra careful when giving out, like any other user right. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:01, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::It's a powerful tool and it's very difficult to reverse mistakes if you are not an admin. If you're not careful, you can import dozens of templates at once that may not be the ones you wanted to import, and you have to fix these pages or call an admin to delete these pages manually. I am also not voting against you as you seem to be implying below, import is already included in admin and so you are suggesting it should be given to non-admins, which I oppose for the reasons above. [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:44, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Ferien}} It already '''is''' given to non-admins on many other wikis. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:50, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, but not on Wikiquote. Just because many other wikis have done it wrong doesn't mean we should do it wrong too. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:10, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|Ferien}}
::::::{{Blockquote|Just because many other wikis have done it wrong}}
::::::I am not sure if this is humorous or not, but, if it isn't: 
::::::: This is a ridiculous comment, just because you don't agree doesn't make it &quot;wrong&quot;. Considering this has been done on dozens of wikis, it is probably a good choice for at-least some wikis. By making this comment, it makes your original vote look like it was made in bad faith.
::::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:23, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, they have done it wrong ''in my opinion''. Your opinion may be different but as I said, I think the same applies for most wikis and unless you are including delete in importer or importer is only added if you have a role like one on some wikis called eliminator which has delete tools and block tools, but not protection, abuse filter etc, I do not think importer on its own is appropriate. That does not make my !vote done in bad faith. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} If you don't think this should be done on ''any'' wiki, make a request on meta, rather than voting here. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:30, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} Since your vote is about generally being against the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; right for non-admins and not specifically about my request, may I please strike it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, not sure why you want to strike my vote, because that is exactly what your request is about. While it doesn't specify non-admins specifically or mention non-admins, that is exactly what you are asking for. Admins already have the import right. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:35, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I never said that importer being given on other wikis should be reversed. That wouldn't be done on meta anyway, it'd be done for individual communities as they decided to add it there. If other wikis feel that's what works for them, then that's fine. I am not really part of many other wikis' community. Only simplewiki, enwikiquote and to some extent metawiki and enwiki. However, what you were suggesting was that we should give non-admins importer on this wiki because it's done on other wikis, and as I disagree with the importer right being separate as a whole, I do not agree with that argument. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:33, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}}
::::::::::{{Blockquote|However, what you were suggesting was that we should give non-admins importer on this wiki because it's done on other wikis, and as I disagree with the importer right being separate as a whole, I do not agree with that argument.}}
::::::::::I am suggesting it should be done &quot;because it is done on other wikis&quot;, I was just pointing that out. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:38, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:03, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I have already read the message. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 08:52, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} Could explain exactly ''why'' you oppose '''''the creation''''' of this right? You have already explained that it is dangerous right, in your opinion, and should be restricted, but why do you not want it created? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:04, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Koavf}} What are your thoughts on this reply? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:17, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Whether we should have importers and who should be importers are two different things. Admins have all these rights and more, so I don't see the problem. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:17, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|ferien|koavf}} {{u|Koavf}}, just what I was thinking! This isn't an RfRI, this is a feature request. While I would like to have it, whether I get should be held in a vote for that, not if should exist at all. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|Koavf}} Can the vote be striken-off as invalid? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::So I assume you're talking about my vote? Is there any reason why it should be struck as invalid? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:40, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::No. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 10:46, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|Kalki}} Could you vote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:42, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:: I do not see any compelling need for creating such a user group, and do see that it could develop complications and problems that would have to be sorted out in often tedious ways. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 20:44, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I also '''oppose''' this - for many of the reasons already articulated above. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:29, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Kalki|UDScott}} Could you be more specific, so I could try to improve/re-submit this? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:08, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|UDScott}} Could you give me some recommendations on how to improve my proposal? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:08, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::It's not a matter of making tweaks to your proposal that will suddenly convince me - I just don't think this is something we want. I would rather see more users become admins if qualified, rather than adding more roles. I also worry about imports being done improperly and causing other issues. Bottom line is that I just don't see the value in doing this, regardless of how the proposal to do so is worded. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:57, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|UDScott}}
::::::{{Blockquote|I also worry about imports being done improperly and causing other issues.}}
::::::Well, I would assume if someone is given, they would know how to import properly. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:02, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::That's quite the logical fallacy you've got going there. Just because someone has garnered enough support to be granted a role in no way means that a process will be performed correctly. Everyone who has been in the admin role has at one time or another made an error - because of a misunderstanding, a lack of technical ability, or simply a mistake. The nomination and approval process that results in one gaining a role does not remove risk of issues. I just don't see the need for this role, especially given the risk involved (and the fact that if errors are made, it is a bit tedious to correct them). I do not support this proposal - I've explained this multiple times, even though I don't believe that I need to justify my lack of support. And a tip, especially as we are in active discussion: there's really no need to continually ping me every time you respond. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:12, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|UDScott}} As {{u|Koavf}} said, &quot;Whether we should have importers and who should be importers are two different things. Admins have all these rights and more, so I don't see the problem.&quot; Wouldn't that also apply to this vote?
::::::::{{Blockquote|And a tip, especially as we are in active discussion: there's really no need to continually ping me every time you respond.}}
::::::::That's usually how a one-to-one discussion works.
::::::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:20, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::I am applying it to this vote - to me the risk is too high for ''any''one to have it when I don't see the need for it. And no, pinging someone and just addressing them in the text of the conversation are two different things. Imagine if we were standing at a door having a discussion. You could easily say my name and make your point - or you could ring the doorbell every time before you speak. One is standard behavior and the other is a bit annoying - see the difference? IMHO, pinging should only be used when you have received no response and wish to gain someone's attention. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::What exactly ''are'' the risks to importing? I understand how it could be used maliciously (e.g. spamming, faking edits, etc.), but I don't see how it could be destructive when used in good faith. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:32, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::I believe Ferien outlined the issues very well above. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:34, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{ping|UDScott}} Well, there already are the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; user rights. I never said what the requirements would be or how strictly it would be given out, only the user rights it would contain and how it would work. Are you against the very idea of non-developers importing? And if so, wouldn't you the rights removed entirely? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:41, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Do you have any suggestions as to how I could improve this proposal? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::I do not. It seems like community consensus is tilting against it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:58, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} Currently the results are: 3 Support, 1 Neutral, 3 Oppose. So, even. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:07, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''oppose''' does not seem needed or useful, extremely sensitive rights --[[User:DannyS712|DannyS712]] ([[User talk:DannyS712|talk]]) 21:51, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|DannyS712}} Please explain further. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:30, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''neutral''' I was aksed to leave feedback, but I rarely edit Wikiquote, how often would this need to be used? [[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 14:54, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} Very often. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 14:56, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:According to [[Special:log/import]] since the software started logging imports in late 2007 the right has been used a grand total of 171 times, with 97 of those uses being the same person on the same day in 2019. The claim that this would be used &quot;very often&quot; appears to have no basis in the available facts. A breakdown of yearly usage stats for this right:
{{collapse|
:*2022 - 1 import
:*2021 - 16 imports
:*2020 - 2 imports
:*2019 - 98 imports
:*2018 - no imports
:*2017 - no imports
:*2016 - 1 import
:*2015 - no imports
:*2014 - no imports
:*2013 - no imports
:*2012 - no imports
:*2011 - 16 imports
:*2010 - no imports
:*2009 - no imports
:*2008 - 37 imports}}
:There are also some parts of this proposal that seem bizarre and poorly thought out to me - e.g. why are you including autoconfirmed in this group? Anyone with this right should already be autoconfirmed - this isn't something that should be given to newbies. History merging is quite possibly the most dangerous user right on the site, and should not be given to anyone except admins who have the technical ability to fix any messes it creates. In what situations is the &quot;delete-redirect&quot; right going to be useful - pages don't need to have the exact same name on all wikis, and if there's an existing template redirect in the way importing a new template over the top of it could cause a disaster. &quot;Supress redirect&quot; seems to be unrelated to the act of actually importing pages and seems to have been chucked in so you can history merge stuff? Wikiquote also already has the unused [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=import importer] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=transwiki transwiki importers] user groups, which seem to do exactly what you're already asking for.
:I don't know if wikiquote allows IP votes in policy decisions, but I would '''Oppose''' this proposal on the basis that the import functionality is so rarely used that the current workload can easily be handled by existing admins, this particular proposal seems to be poorly thought out and bundles a load of rights together that are, at best, tangentially related to importing pages, and that user groups to allow users to import pages already exist. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 20:09, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::# Autoconfirmed is a basic right.
::# How is history merging the most dangerous???
::# Delete-redirect is '''required''' for this to be done properly '''most''' of the time.
::::* Because it is needed if new revisions are added to the page that the revisions are being imported from.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:18, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::Also, '''please''' read the banner at the top. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:19, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|192.76.8.85}} Does this count as a vote or comment. (I am assuming a vote for the timebeing) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:25, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I don't know why you're directing me to read your idiotically large, obnoxious banner (made extra large and obnoxious in response to my comment!) and to ask you for technical explanations when your responses here are utter nonsense and demonstrate that you don't actually understand what you're proposing.
:::*''Autoconfirmed is a basic right.'' - yes, which is why it is utterly pointless to bundle it into an advanced user right supposed to be given to trusted members of the community.  Everyone who is granted the import right will already be autoconfirmed. There is no point giving them the right again, it makes as much sense as giving the &lt;code&gt;edit&lt;/code&gt; right to admins.
:::*''How is history merging the most dangerous???'' - because it can easily make an enormous mess and it has no &quot;undo&quot; functionality. If you accidentally merge together two pages with long co-existent history the only way to unmerge them is to delete the page then manually undelete individual revisions one at a time to separate the page histories out again. Fixing a history merge mistake can take literally hours. It is also completely unnecessary for importers to have this right because it is already built into the import function.
:::*''Delete-redirect is required for this to be done properly most of the time. Because it is needed if new revisions are added to the page that the revisions are being imported from.'' - this makes no sense at all, I actually cannot understand what you are trying to say here. The import function can directly add old revisions to an existing page, you just set the import location to the title of the extant page - you don't have to import pages to some other title then merge them together afterwards.
:::You can consider this to be a vote. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 20:50, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::* History merge '''is''' necessary for the follow reason:
::::** Let’s say that Person 1 ''manually'' imports Page 1 to Page 2, then Person 2 (who is an importer) wants to properly import the revisions, but in between these two events Person 3 has modified Page 1, this would cause the import to fail. So what the importer would do is:
::::**# Import the original page to Page 3.
::::**# Merge all revisions in Page 3 (before Person 1 copied Page 1 to Page 2) into Page 2.
::::**# Redirect Page 2 to Page 3.
::::**# Merge all revisions before the redirect in Page 2 into Page 3.
::::**# Use &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; to delete Page 2.
::::**# Use &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; to move Page 3 to Page 2.
::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:59, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::This doesn't make any kind of sense. You import the page with it's whole history, split the history via the history merge function (?), then combine the history back together, then delete the mess of pages you created? What you would end up with if you followed those instructions is page 3 with the entire edition history of persons 1 2 and 3 included?
:::::Again, this work flow is complete and utter nonsense. If you want to perform an import and merge revisions into existing page then you just have to tell the import tool to include history information, and the merge will be done for you. If you just want to import the revisions from before the history fork then make an XML dump of the revisions you want and import that. There is no need at all for this histmerge and redirect mess.
:::::Fundamentally though fixing history forking issues is not a job for page importers - it is a job for administrators who have access to the proper page deletion, undeletion and history toolbox. It makes no sense to give users some administrative tools to allow them to, via a unnecessarily convoluted methods, fix an issue that has never actually occurred to date. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:33, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I have this issue very often, that's why I proposed it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:36, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|Koavf}} Is history merge very dangerous? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:43, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::What &quot;issue&quot; are you actually having, because &quot;import revisions from another wiki and merge them into an existing page&quot; is functionality that the import tool already has - you don't need all the extra user rights to do it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::I meant merging within a wiki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:47, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::&quot;merging within a wiki&quot; is not a part of any sensible workflow for importing pages. User rights should be set up as groups of related rights that multiple people should find useful, that have similar access requirements, and generally the ability to do an action should be bundled with the ability to undo it. Creating a user group isn't an opportunity to put together a &quot;grab bag&quot; of rights that you personally think you would like. An &quot;importer&quot; right should just contain the stuff needed to import pages, i.e. &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt;. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:57, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::That why is called &quot;'''revision''' importer&quot; and not just &quot;importer&quot;. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:58, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::And what is the supposed difference between this &quot;revision importer&quot; and the regular &quot;importer&quot; right? You can already import revisions and add them to the history of pages using the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; rights. To me this looks like a combination of you not actually knowing what the import right does, a bunch of utterly bizarre suggestions (like the bundled autoconfirmed right) and you trying to make your own personal user group with just the stuff you want in it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 22:03, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::Maybe &quot;revision editor&quot; or &quot;revision manager&quot; would be a more accurate title? Also, this isn't just for me. If it was, it would also include many other rights (e.g. rollback, templateeditor). – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:06, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::We already have a user group that allows certain people to edit page histories, they're called &quot;administrators&quot;. I do not think a user group which allows editors to screw up page histories but does not include the tools to fix them is a good idea. ''this isn't just for me.'' seems to be in direct contradiction to your statement below that the big issue with the existing importer groups is that ''Neither of which fully covers my needs.'' which is it - a general &quot;importer&quot; group for everyone, or a user group specifically tailored to what you want to do. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:41, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::A revision editor would be for '''revisions''', not general administrative rights. Revisions editing includes imports. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:42, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::What is the difference between &quot;general administrative rights&quot; and &quot;revision&quot; rights. They are, as far as I can tell, the same thing. Pages on wikis are nothing but a string of revisions, how is messing around with revisions a distinct operation from messing around with pages? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:50, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::I didn’t say it ''was'' used very often, I said it ''would'' be used very often, '''if implemented'''. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:15, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*I got pinged here from enwiki: enwikiquote already has local admins which have transwiki access, and if there is a good reason this community needs xmlimports the &quot;importer&quot; group could also be added via the existing group process. xmlimport can be &quot;dangerous&quot; so I'd suggest that you not add it to anyone that wouldn't otherwise qualify as an interface admin here. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:25, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:{{ping|Xaosflux}} This would only be given to users who are '''at least''' as trustworthy as interface admins. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:29, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::{{ping|Xaosflux}} Also, could you ask me more questions, so you could come to a final decision? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:31, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::I don't really consider myself part of the enwikiquote community - the primary governance of permissions for this project belongs to them. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:36, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::{{ping|Xaosflux}} Please, very few regulars here actually vote in these. Outside feedback would be very helpful. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:38, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:wikiquote already has [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=import importer] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=transwiki transwiki importer] groups, but they're not currently used. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:35, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::Neither of which fully covers my needs. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:37, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
{{discussion-closed-bottom}}

== Reverse-protection cross-(wiki?) RfC (phab) ==

What is your opinion on [[phab:T312835|this]] feature request? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:45, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== QOTD emergency ==

{{:WQT:PAA|hide=false}} QOTD is missing! {{done}} by Kalki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:22, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
: I just posted it a couple minutes ago — it is certainly NOT any extraordinary emergency. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:25, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Kalki}} Was already marking as fixed while you were leaving your comment. In-fact a got an edit conflict message. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:27, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{redlink|Redlinks}} on the front page are a pretty big deal. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:07, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} Absolutely agreed. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:38, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, please stop pinging all administrators. If there is genuinely an emergency like this that needs an admin, please make your way to [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Notice about the revision importer proposal ==

Originally it was planned to be a discussion only for feedback and improvement, and not a vote since it was nowhere near done. But it accidentally turned into a vote, and as such, failed, as I could provide sufficient information about purpose or how it would work. I will be closing it shortly. I will start a new only for feedback and not voting, after I think it is sufficiently done, I will start a new vote. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:54, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Feedback on proposal for new user right ==

{{Notice box|text='''This is not a vote,''' this is simply a discussion related to improving and fixing potential issues with this proposal, users who oppose this may provide feedback on how to make it less unappealing to them, but if you are entirely against it and have no constructive feedback to offer, '''do not comment here.'''&lt;br&gt;&lt;big&gt;You may also ask questions here, '''regardless of what you think of the proposal.'''&lt;/big&gt;}}

This is a proposal for a 'revision importer' right, this would be primarily used for cross-wiki importing, though it will also be used for other purposes.

This is needed because a lot of pages and templates that exist on other wikis do not exist here. Also, this can also be used for importing lost pages from dead wikis. (e.g. simple English Wikiquote)

This right would be appointed by bureaucrats.

Here are the user rights it is planned to contain so far:

{{:User:Ilovemydoodle/proposal/usergroups/revision importer}}

Here are the reasons for each right:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; — Self-explanatory.
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; — Self-explanatory. Also helpful for mass-importing pages and in cases where revisions need to manually be modified.
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — This is needed if a template that has been imported, has been updated on another wiki.
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; — If an imported page is on the title blacklist.
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; — Potential rate limit issues. (this might not be neccessary)
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Similar to &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Same as &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; — Security reasons as with other rights.

=== Examples ===

Here are some examples where this right would preform better than regular importers or administrators.

==== 1 ====

Let’s say that Person 1 ''manually'' imports Page 1 to Page 2, then Person 2 (who is a revision importer) wants to properly import the revisions, but in between these two events, Person 3 has modified Page 1, this would mean that if it was imported traditionally it would either fail, or would appear to succeed, but all revisions in-between wouldn't be valid for this wiki. (e.g. if a template has to have all mentions of 'Wikipedia' changed to 'Wikiquote', this is pretty obvious, but you could imagine more subtle issues). Then, if someone didn't like certain changes that were made, and rolled-back to an earlier revision, the new versiom wouldn't be valid for this wiki. With this type of importing, the revision import could manually edit the revisions before importing, so all revision would be valid. This could be done via the following process: 

# Import the original page (from the other wiki) to Page 3.
# Merge all revisions in Page 3 (before Person 1 copied Page 1 to Page 2) into Page 2.
# Redirect Page 2 to Page 3.
# Merge all revisions before the redirect in Page 2 into Page 3.
# Use &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; to delete Page 2.
# Use &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; to move Page 3 to Page 2.

=== Comments ===

– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:07, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|AC9016|Nihonjoe|Antandrus|Koavf|Stang|ShakespeareFan00|Rubbish computer|Dave Braunschweig|Atcovi|Ottawahitech}} Thoughts? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:29, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

Why are you wasting everyone's time by repeating the exact same discussion as above which will lead to the exact same conclusion? This is an terrible idea for a user group - it is completely redundant to the existing &quot;import&quot; group, contains a load of disjointed and disconnected rights that have no business being bundled together and per the discussion above the proposer is unable to justify why this group should exist or what purpose it is supposed to serve. Going through the list of rights:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; — Not enabled anywhere for any user group, even stewards. Has the ability to crash medium to large wikis, so the devs are unlikely to approve enabling. The proposer doesn't appear to understand what this does, it has nothing to do with templates, it's intended for content pages, when you export a page with this setting enabled it also exports all linked pages, and all pages linked to those pages and so on until you hit the depth limit.
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, Import can already merge page histories, extremely dangerous and can easily make a huge mess, should remain restricted to administrators.
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded. Not a frequently occurring issue, if a title is deemed unsuitable by the blacklist it can just be imported to a different title, pages don't need to have the same name everywhere.
* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, no-one should be importing pages so quickly they hit the rate limit.
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded - everyone even being considered for import user rights should be autoconfirmed.
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, not related to importing pages, only included because the proposer apparently doesn't understand how importing pages works.
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, not related to importing pages, only included because the proposer apparently doesn't understand how importing pages works.
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
The &quot;proposed&quot; user rights are not possible to implement (the database doesn't track which revisions have been imported) would not get past wmf legal (you cannot view any kind of deleted content without passing an RFA or equivalent process) and duplicate existing admin functionality.

My opinion is that the proposer here does not understand what they are proposing, how user rights work, how importing work and has no idea what this user group is supposed to be used for. I am unimpressed that rather than answering the question &quot;what is this supposed to be used for and how is it different from importer/administrator rights&quot; they have decided to shut down the discussion above and start another one on exactly the same thing. I am even more unimpressed that they have left another &quot;notice&quot; telling people that unless they are coming here to tell them how amazing their idea is they are unwelcome to comment. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:54, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''This is not a vote,''' please read the header. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:55, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::Can you please point out where I voted? '''Please read my comment'''. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:56, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::&lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; — This might a problem, I will look into this. Thanks for the feedback.
:::&lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::&lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; Not frequent, but if you are importing a lot of pages, this could be an issue.
:::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Specific cases (e.g. second account, changing accounts, bots, etc.), also there is no harm to adding this right.
:::&lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::&lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:03, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::You haven't &quot;explained &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt;. You've posted a completely ridiculous workflow which would involve using them to do something the import right can already do.
::::Why would &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; be useful? What kinds of pages are you intending to import where the title would be so terrible it would hit an entry on the blacklist.
::::&lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; you clearly do not understand what this does, I'll give you a clue, it has nothing to do with the &quot;amount of data&quot; that you're sending to the server. Another clue, import actions aren't even rate limited.
::::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; why on earth would you include a user right that the person already has? It's a complete waste of time. If for some reason you need to import pages using a brand new alt account why couldn't you do the normal thing, and assign the user the &quot;confirmed&quot; user rights?
::::You still haven't answered the fundamental question - what is this right supposed to do that the &quot;import&quot; right can't already do, and why do you need all these extra user rights to re-implement functionality that already exists. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 02:16, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::How do you ''modify'' a revision with regular import? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:22, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::You can use the &quot;import from a file&quot; option and edit the XML before you upload it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:05, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::...which would require the removal and replacement of the existing revisions. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:09, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Why would you be replacing revisions with things that didn't actually exist? The whole point of the page history is to serve as the legally required record of who contributed what content to a page - there is no situation whatsoever where it would be appropriate to replace actual revisions with stuff you made up. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:12, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Please see example 1. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:13, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::example 1 is a completely ridiculous workflow that only demonstrates that you don't actually understand how anything works. Even so, at what stage of example 1 do you need to make up revisions that don't actually exist? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::Anywhere between 2 and 4. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:21, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:This user right would '''not''' allow a user to view deleted content. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:12, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::The &lt;code&gt;view-deleted-imported-revision&lt;/code&gt; would fall afoul of [[meta:Limits to configuration changes]], specifically ''Allow non-admins to view deleted stuff''. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 02:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::It would only allow the viewing of content deleted using this right, which would be stored separately to admin-deleted content. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Again, you don't appear to understand how anything actually works. Mediawiki doesn't store deleted revisions separately, they're in the main revision table but flagged as deleted. Non-admins are banned from viewing deleted content, it doesn't matter how it was deleted or what user right was involved. This is a hard limit by the WMF legal department and cannot be overturned via feature requests or consensus. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:08, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::There is a way of storing it separately. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:09, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Not in the current version of Mediawiki there isn't. Even suppressed material is stored in the main revision table with the &lt;code&gt;DELETED_RESTRICTED&lt;/code&gt; flag set. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::It would be stored in the main archive table, it would be differentiated using the unused field &lt;code&gt;ar_flags&lt;/code&gt; – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:20, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Do you think more should be addressed in this proposal? If so, what? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:50, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::No. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:37, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|Koavf}} Sorry, I just realized this now, I meant to say &quot;more questions addressed&quot;. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:53, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Not really. I just think this is your proposal. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:24, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Do you support it so far? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:25, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|koavf}} Also, what do you think the requirements to get this right should be? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:29, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Just asking for them and the community voting, just like with other rights. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:46, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I don't object, but I don't have strong feelings on it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:47, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

I'm not a frequent contributor to Wikiquote, but I was asked to comment. I don't see a problem with the overall proposal if it meets a community need. However, I would not include &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt;. There's almost no legitimate reason for a human being to trigger that limit. Save that right for bots. -- [[User:Dave Braunschweig|Dave Braunschweig]] ([[User talk:Dave Braunschweig|talk]]) 16:58, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:06, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
*First of all, you should not have started another discussion. It was going fine and people were still giving their opinions on it. In fact there was a point I wanted to respond to you on but couldn't because you closed the discussion. Secondly, seeing as 50% of people opposed, and only 30% supported, I'm just curious why you are still trying to push this idea and encouraging others to not oppose it despite quite a clear result voting-wise but also consensus-wise that the community doesn't want this. And I'm especially concerned about how you have closed another discussion and opened another one where apparently if you are entirely against the proposal, you are not allowed to comment. This makes it harder to find the community consensus that seemed to quite clearly be &quot;we don't want this.&quot; --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:42, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:The main issue provided was that there wasn’t any reason to do this (because I did not include one in the original vote), so I am trying to redo this in a better way. Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:44, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::You could have always edited the reason in the original discussion, and that would have had the benefit of not freezing the discussion for everyone else who participated... --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:50, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::Well, I am redoing the ''whole'' proposal, so most of those votes won't matter anymore. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:53, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::It seems like the proposal is very similar to the one you just suggested. Just because ''you'' don't think those &quot;votes&quot; don't matter anymore doesn't mean you should move to a completely different discussion on the exact same topic, with some bizarre restrictions on what I should comment and what I should not. I see no reason for you to have opened another discussion and am considering merging it so the community are more aware about what your plans are. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:46, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::::The original vote was poorly conceived, this is my second attempt, please don't associate this with the original. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:50, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::::Sorry but I see no reason to not associate this with the original proposal. Yes, there are a couple of changes based on feedback, however your proposal is essentially the same, but instead, you have decided to discourage people opposed to it from commenting. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 09:13, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
*Ok seeing as my opinion is clear at this point - that giving importer to non-admins is generally a bad idea - let's focus on the problems with this proposal. Autoconfirmed is unnecessary. It shouldn't affect rate limit, for autoconfirmed users. Merge history is not needed, although I'm unsure if this is included within importer - you can just import the page again, or update it manually for situations where it's updated on one wiki but not another - which is rare. tboverride - not sure when an imported page would ever be on the title blacklist? Overall, seems as though even more unnecessary admin-level tools are going into a right where not as much trust is necessary. If a person needs this many rights, why not get admin?? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:40, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== Sorry ==

For leaving feedback requests on far too many user pages, I have stopped, and will only ask users that are actually interested, and can help. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Movement Strategy and Governance News - Issue 7 ==

&lt;div style = &quot;line-height: 1.2&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:200%;&quot;&gt;'''Movement Strategy and Governance News'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:120%; color:#404040;&quot;&gt;'''Issue 7, July-September 2022'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:120%; float:right;&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7|'''Read the full newsletter''']]&lt;/span&gt; 
----
Welcome to the 7th issue of Movement Strategy and Governance News! The newsletter distributes relevant news and events about the implementation of Wikimedia's [[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy/Initiatives|Movement Strategy recommendations]], other relevant topics regarding Movement governance, as well as different projects and activities supported by the Movement Strategy and Governance (MSG) team of the Wikimedia Foundation.  

The MSG Newsletter is delivered quarterly, while the more frequent [[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy/Updates|Movement Strategy Weekly]] will be delivered weekly. Please remember to subscribe [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Global message delivery/Targets/MSG Newsletter Subscription|here]] if you would like to receive future issues of this newsletter.
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;margin-top:3px; padding:10px 10px 10px 20px; background:#fffff; border:2px solid #808080; border-radius:4px; font-size:100%;&quot;&gt; 

* '''Movement sustainability''': Wikimedia Foundation's annual sustainability report has been published. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A1&lt;/tvar&gt;|continue reading]])
* '''Improving user experience''': recent improvements on the desktop interface for Wikimedia projects. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A2|continue reading]])
* '''Safety and inclusion''': updates on the revision process of the Universal Code of Conduct Enforcement Guidelines. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A3|continue reading]])
* '''Equity in decisionmaking''': reports from Hubs pilots conversations, recent progress from the Movement Charter Drafting Committee, and a new white paper for futures of participation in the Wikimedia movement. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A4|continue reading]])
* '''Stakeholders coordination''': launch of a helpdesk for Affiliates and volunteer communities working on content partnership. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A5|continue reading]])
* '''Leadership development''': updates on leadership projects by Wikimedia movement organizers in Brazil and Cape Verde. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A6|continue reading]])
* '''Internal knowledge management''': launch of a new portal for technical documentation and community resources. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A7|continue reading]])
* '''Innovate in free knowledge''': high-quality audiovisual resources for scientific experiments and a new toolkit to record oral transcripts. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A8|continue reading]])
* '''Evaluate, iterate, and adapt''': results from the Equity Landscape project pilot ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A9|continue reading]])
*
'''Other news and updates''': a new forum to discuss Movement Strategy implementation, upcoming Wikimedia Foundation Board of Trustees election, a new podcast to discuss Movement Strategy, and change of personnel for the Foundation's Movement Strategy and Governance team. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A10|continue reading]])

&lt;/div&gt;&lt;section end=&quot;msg-newsletter&quot;/&gt;

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 22:59, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Announcing the six candidates for the Board of Trustees election ==

:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election/Short|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election/Short}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi everyone,

The Affiliate Representatives have completed their voting period. The selected 2022 Board of Trustees candidates are:

* Tobechukwu Precious Friday ([[:m:User:Tochiprecious|Tochiprecious]])
* Farah Jack Mustaklem ([[:m:User:Fjmustak|Fjmustak]])
* Shani Evenstein Sigalov ([[:m:User:Esh77|Esh77]])
* Kunal Mehta ([[:m:User:Legoktm|Legoktm]])
* Michał Buczyński ([[:m:User:Aegis Maelstrom|Aegis Maelstrom]])
* Mike Peel ([[:m:User:Mike Peel|Mike Peel]])

You may see more information about the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Results|Results]] and [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Stats|Statistics]] of this Board election.

The Affiliate organizations selected representatives to vote on behalf of the Affiliate organization. The Affiliate Representatives proposed questions for the candidates to answer in mid-June. These answers from candidates and the information provided from the Analysis Committee provided support for the representatives as they made their decision.

Please take a moment to appreciate the Affiliate Representatives and Analysis Committee members for taking part in this process and helping to grow the Board of Trustees in capacity and diversity. These hours of volunteer work connect us across understanding and perspective. Thank you for your participation.

Thank you to the community members who put themselves forward as candidates for the Board of Trustees. Considering joining the Board of Trustees is no small decision. The time and dedication candidates have shown to this point speaks to their commitment to this movement. Congratulations to those candidates who have been selected. A great amount of appreciation and gratitude for those candidates not selected. Please continue to share your leadership with Wikimedia.

What can voters do now?

[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Results|Review the results of the Affiliate selection process]].

[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election|Read more here about the next steps in the 2022 Board of Trustee election]].

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''&lt;/translate&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;section end=&quot;announcement-content&quot; /&gt;

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 19:35, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== Let's talk about the Desktop Improvements ==

[[File:Vector 2022 showing language menu with a blue menu trigger and blue menu items 01.jpg|thumb]]
Join an online meeting with the team working on the [[mw:Reading/Web/Desktop Improvements|Desktop Improvements]]! It will take place on '''26 July 2022 at [https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?iso=20220726T1200 12:00 UTC] and [https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?iso=20220726T1900 19:00 UTC]''' on Zoom. '''[https://wikimedia.zoom.us/j/5304280674 Click here to join]'''. Meeting ID: 5304280674. [https://wikimedia.zoom.us/u/kc2hamfYz9 Dial by your location].

[[mw:Special:MyLanguage/Reading/Web/Desktop Improvements/Updates/Talk to Web|Read more]]. See you! [[User:SGrabarczuk (WMF)|SGrabarczuk (WMF)]] ([[User talk:SGrabarczuk (WMF)|talk]]) 16:19, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:SGrabarczuk (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:SGrabarczuk_(WMF)/sandbox/MM/En_fallback&amp;oldid=23430301 --&gt;

== Vote for Election Compass Statements ==

:''[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements|You can find this message translated into additional languages on Meta-wiki.]]''
:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi all,

Volunteers in the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] are invited to [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass/Statements|vote for statements to use in the Election Compass]]. You can vote for the statements you would like to see included in the Election Compass on Meta-wiki.

An Election Compass is a tool to help voters select the candidates that best align with their beliefs and views. The community members will propose statements for the candidates to answer using a Lickert scale (agree/neutral/disagree). The candidates’ answers to the statements will be loaded into the Election Compass tool. Voters will use the tool by entering in their answer to the statements (agree/disagree/neutral). The results will show the candidates that best align with the voter’s beliefs and views.

Here is the timeline for the Election Compass:

*&lt;s&gt;July 8 - 20: Volunteers propose statements for the Election Compass&lt;/s&gt;
*&lt;s&gt;July 21 - 22: Elections Committee reviews statements for clarity and removes off-topic statements&lt;/s&gt;
*July 23 - August 3: Volunteers vote on the statements
*August 4: Elections Committee selects the top 15 statements
*August 5 - 12: candidates align themselves with the statements
*August 16: The Election Compass opens for voters to use to help guide their voting decision

The Elections Committee will select the top 15 statements at the beginning of August


Best, 

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 17:20, 26 July 2022 (UTC)

== Names for cleanup categories ==

Hello,

I'm going to start localising a load of imported clean-up templates over the next few weeks, and I wanted some feedback from the community on what terminology to use for the associated categories. Some of these clean-up templates sort main space pages into categories of the form &quot;Articles needing foo&quot;, some of them sort them into categories of the form &quot;Wikiquote pages needing foo&quot; (and some templates have been half-localised and sort them into both!). What is the preferred terminology for these kind of pages? &quot;Article&quot; or &quot;Wikiquote pages&quot;? Just thought I'd get some feedback before editing dozens of templates and making dozens of categories. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:18, 28 July 2022 (UTC)

:Content in the main namespace can be &quot;articles&quot; for sure, especially if that makes it easier. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:04, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:Koavf|Koavf]] Thanks, that's really helpful. I'll make a start localising and cleaning up these templates so they don't sort pages into nonsense like [[:Category:Wikipedia external links cleanup]].
::There's one other template I'd like some feedback on, {{tl|cleanup}}. This template seems to have been hijacked and now does a completley different function to when it was a wikiquote specific one; it used to be for articles that didn't fit into any of the specific cleanup categories, now it's a generic &quot;tag everything&quot; type template. As it stands this template has been copied from the English Wikipedia and has a lot of complexity and features that don't make sense here. As I see it there are a few ways we could move forward with this template:
::# Roll it back to the old, wikiquote specific version
::# Try to localise the current template properly (I'm not keen on this, it is way too complex and has way too much subcategorization for a project of this size).
::# Try to simplify the new template to produce something that works well on this project.
::# Remake the template in the new style, but replicating the functionality of the old clean-up template as much as possible.
::There are also a couple of features of the new style template that I'd like to get some feedback on whether they're actually useful here, to start:
::# The new template asks you to submit a reason when tagging a page for cleanup, is this required on this project and is populating [[:Creating Category:Cleanup tagged articles without a reason field]] useful?
::# Is categorising pages by namespace useful? e.g. sorting pages into &quot;Wikiquote categories needing cleanup&quot;, &quot;Wikiquote templates needing cleanup&quot;, &quot;Wikiquote Articles needing cleanup&quot; etc? My gut feeling is no, given that there are less than 100 pages tagged in total.
::As you might be able to tell I'm a bit lost when it comes to figuring out what to do with {{tl|cleanup}}. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:43, 30 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I don't think that this project is big or active enough to need to be sorted by namespace with cleanup templates. If you think it's best to revert back to how this template functioned back in April, then I support that. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:56, 31 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Thanks, I'll give it a few days to see if anyone else has any comments, if not I'll revert back to the old version of the template. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 16:43, 1 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::Reverted back to the old version since no objections were raised. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 15:14, 6 August 2022 (UTC)

== Decorative quotation templates ==

What is the community's opinion on decorative quotation templates like [[Template:Blockquote]]? The [[Wikiquote:Manual of style|manual of style]] and [[Wikiquote:Guide to layout|guide to layout]] says that articles should be composed of plain bulleted lists, but these templates have been added to a few places, e.g. [[Jill Biden]]. Should they be removed, or should the manual of style be updated to allow them? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 15:46, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
:I am not a fan. I see it as a similar discussion regarding the bolding of quotes. To me the different ways of presenting quotes is a bit jarring and there does nto seem to be any criteria used for which quotes use this alternate style. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 16:26, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
* It's useful on other projects. But it's a little like having a specially formatted box on Wikipedia for prose. Uh...prose is kindof the main point of the project. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 16:39, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
*I am also not a fan - I'd prefer as little markup as possible in our pages, since I think markup is off-putting for newbies. Text only is good. I personally tend to be a minimalist on such stuff. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 18:46, 3 August 2022 (UTC)

== If you love somebody, let them go ==

&quot;If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.&quot;&lt;br style=&quot;margin-bottom:0.5em&quot;/&gt;Seems attributed to [[Kahlil Gibran]] by random image search results. A similar variant &quot;If you love something, let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever.&quot; is attributed to [[w:en:Douglas Horton]] by [http://www.quotehd.com/quotes/douglas-horton-clergyman-if-you-love-something-let-it-go-free-if-it-doesnt-come-back another random image search result]. Is either of these correct? If not, perhaps the misattribution could be mentioned on [[Kahlil Gibran]]? &lt;span id=&quot;Alexis_Jazz:1659594815083:WikiquoteBWLCLNVillage_pump&quot; class=&quot;BawlCmt&quot;&gt;[[User:Alexis Jazz|Alexis Jazz]] ([[User talk:Alexis Jazz|talk]]) 06:33, 4 August 2022 (UTC)&lt;/span&gt;

== Any tutorials?  ==

Hi Wikiquote friends, I'm TheAafi, and I mostly contribute on English Wikipedia. I happen to be founder of [[:m:Deoband Community Wikimedia|Deoband Community Wikimedia]], a recognized Wikimedia user group affiliate. I recently organized a series of events to bring attention of DCW volunteers to Wikiquote (see: [[:m:Deoband Community Wikimedia/Events/Wikiquote Delhi August 2022|this page for details]]). Is there any training material already available that I could utilize for this purpose. If not, DCW would be like to aid in this necessary endeavor. Regards, ─ [[User:TheAafi|&lt;span style=&quot;color:SteelBlue&quot;&gt;The Aafī&lt;/span&gt;]] &lt;sup&gt;[[User talk:TheAafi|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#80A0FF&quot;&gt;&lt;sup&gt;(talk)&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/sup&gt; 13:14, 11 August 2022 (UTC)

== Delay of the 2022 Wikimedia Foundation Board of Trustees election ==

Hi all,

I am reaching out to you today with an update about the timing of the voting for the Board of Trustees election.

As many of you are already aware, this year we are offering an [[metawiki:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass|Election Compass]] to help voters identify the alignment of candidates on some key topics. Several candidates requested an extension of the character limitation on their responses expanding on their positions, and the Elections Committee felt their reasoning was consistent with the goals of a fair and equitable election process.

To ensure that the longer statements can be translated in time for the election, the Elections Committee and Board Selection Task Force decided to delay the opening of the Board of Trustees election by one week - a time proposed as ideal by staff working to support the election.

Although it is not expected that everyone will want to use the Election Compass to inform their voting decision, the Elections Committee felt it was more appropriate to open the voting period with essential translations for community members across languages to use if they wish to make this important decision.

The voting will open on August 23 at 00:00 UTC and close on September 6 at 23:59 UTC.

Please find this message translated in additional languages [[m:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Delay of Board of Trustees election|here]].

Best regards,

On behalf of the Elections Committee

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 09:23, 16 August 2022 (UTC)

== Invitation to join Movement Strategy Forum ==

Hello everyone,

The [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/ Movement Strategy Forum] (MS Forum) is a multilingual collaborative space for all conversations about Movement Strategy implementation. It provides a great opportunity to share your Movement Strategy(MS) work, find collaborators, and get even more support and ideas for your MS projects. We are inviting all Movement participants to collaborate on the MS Forum. The goal of the forum is to build community collaboration using an inclusive multilingual platform. 

The [[metawiki:Movement Strategy|Movement Strategy]] is a collaborative effort to imagine and build the future of the Wikimedia Movement. Anyone can contribute to the Movement Strategy, from a comment to a full-time project. 

Join this forum with your Wikimedia account, say hi [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/t/say-hello/79 here] and go ahead and join or start a conversation on the recommendation you are most passionate about! Feel free to discuss your MS project ideas and plans or even reports from MS projects you have worked on.  To get started, you can also watch [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/t/a-walk-through-the-movement-strategy-forum/1431 this video].

The Movement Strategy and Governance team (MSG) launched the proposal for this MS Forum in May. After a 2-month review period, we have just published the [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/t/ms-forum-community-review-report/1436 Community Review Report]. It includes a summary of the discussions, metrics, and information about the next steps.

We look forward to seeing you at the MS Forum! 

Best regards,

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 09:40, 19 August 2022 (UTC)

== The 2022 Board of Trustees Election Community Voting period is now open  ==

:''[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/The 2022 Board of Trustees election Community Voting period is now open|You can find this message translated into additional languages on Meta-wiki.]]''
:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/The 2022 Board of Trustees election Community Voting period is now open|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/The 2022 Board of Trustees election Community Voting period is now open}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi everyone,

The Community Voting period for the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] is now open. Here are some helpful links to get you the information you need to vote:

*  Try the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass|Election Compass]], showing how candidates stand on 15 different topics.
* [[m:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Campaign Videos|Watch the candidate videos]] or read the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Candidates|candidate statements]] and [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Affiliate_Organization_Participation/Candidate_Questions|answers to Affiliate questions]]
* [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Apply to be a Candidate|Learn more about the skills the Board seeks]] and how the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Candidates|Analysis Committee found candidates align with those skills]]

If you are ready to vote, you may go to [[Special:SecurePoll/vote/Wikimedia_Foundation_Board_Elections_2022|SecurePoll voting page]] to vote now. '''You may vote from August 23 at 00:00 UTC to September 6 at 23:59 UTC.''' To see about your voter eligibility, please visit the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Voter_eligibility_guidelines|voter eligibility page]].

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 21:12, 23 August 2022 (UTC)

== RevDel policy ==

Revision deletion has been used 278 times this year and 86 times across the whole of 2021... so, it's clear revision deletion on this wiki is becoming more used and fast. I think it's only right with increasing RevDel use to have a RevDel policy. While admins have RevDel reasons they can give when deleting a revision from public view, some are broad. These options are the following:
*Copyright violation
*Inappropriate comment
*Inappropriate username
*Potentially libelous information
*Personal information

A few personal comments about this:
#Inappropriate comment specifically is extremely broad. What does an inappropriate comment mean? Would calling someone stupid be eligible under this option? Or would the comment have to be more disruptive? Note that revision deletion was not created to deal with &quot;ordinary&quot; incivility.
#Potentially libelous information and Personal information should ''not'' be openly dealt with by admins, to avoid the [[Streisand effect]], and should instead be dealt with by oversighters. We currently do not have any local oversighters, so we contact stewards privately if oversight is needed here. These two options shouldn't be part of a RevDel policy, in my opinion.
#Regardless of policy, options that should be used for oversight should be separated from common delete options to avoid extra attention.

I have a few ideas for future RevDel options, and if there's a consensus for them, these should be noted down on a Wikiquote: page as a policy, potentially as an addition to [[Wikiquote:Deletion policy]] or by creating [[Wikiquote:Revision deletion policy]], also depending on the community's preference. These options can be changed on [[MediaWiki:Revdelete-reason-dropdown]].

I would appreciate anyone's opinions for these ideas, that are inspired by enwiki's [[w:Wikipedia:Revision deletion|revision deletion policy]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

=== RD1: Blatant violations of the copyright policy ===
This would be fairly basic, a replacement to our current option &quot;Copyright violation&quot;. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
==== Comments ====

=== RD2: Grossly insulting, degrading, or offensive material ===
A diff that has little to no project value whatsoever - for example, slurs, smears and grossly inappropriate material that has no project value, but not &quot;ordinary&quot; incivility, personal attacks or conduct accusations. If a page has a grossly improper title, the page title can be deleted in the creation and deletion logs too. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

==== Comments ====

=== RD3: Purely disruptive material ===
Purely disruptive material that does not help the project at all - for example, harassment, grossly inappropriate threats or attacks, malicious HTML or CSS, shock pages, phishing or virus pages, or web pages that disparage or threaten someone and serve no valid purpose. Spam links are not covered under this policy. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

==== Comments ====

=== Other RevDel ideas? ===
Any other ideas for a RevDel policy can be put as another section with ===, above this one. Thanks for your input and help. -- [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>5c1ghp7k82pmirtzflskknsvmhf6s0k</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158547</id>
      <parentid>3158537</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T17:49:56Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Koavf</username>
        <id>6765</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Comments */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="106978" xml:space="preserve">__NEWSECTIONLINK__
{{Wikiquote:Village pump/Header}}

== Help needed ==

Originally when GRP create the ED page I forgot about it, now he's doing it again, could someone help get it deleted? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:51, 1 July 2022 (UTC)

:The harder you try, the more likely it is to remain, and the more people will want to look at it. It's like that old fable of trying to catch your breath by running after it.
:My advice: let it go. Let it go. Let - it - go. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 17:40, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Antandrus}} {{done}} will do that, thanks for the advice. Also, I got a message from them as well, [https://encyclopediadramatica.online/User:MarioMario456/talk3 here]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:34, 2 July 2022 (UTC)

== Results of Wiki Loves Folklore 2022 is out! ==

&lt;div lang=&quot;en&quot; dir=&quot;ltr&quot; class=&quot;mw-content-ltr&quot;&gt;
{{int:please-translate}}
[[File:Wiki Loves Folklore Logo.svg|right|150px|frameless]]

Hi, Greetings

The winners for '''[[c:Commons:Wiki Loves Folklore 2022|Wiki Loves Folklore 2022]]''' is announced!

We are happy to share with you winning images for this year's edition. This year saw over 8,584 images represented on commons in over 92 countries. Kindly see images '''[[:c:Commons:Wiki Loves Folklore 2022/Winners|here]]'''

Our profound gratitude to all the people who participated and organized local contests and photo walks for this project.

We hope to have you contribute to the campaign next year.

'''Thank you,'''

'''Wiki Loves Folklore International Team'''

--[[User:MediaWiki message delivery|MediaWiki message delivery]] ([[User talk:MediaWiki message delivery|talk]]) 16:12, 4 July 2022 (UTC)

&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Tiven2240@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Distribution_list/Non-Technical_Village_Pumps_distribution_list&amp;oldid=23454230 --&gt;

== QOTD ==

&lt;span style=&quot;position: absolute; {{#ifeq:{{{hide}}}|false||{{#ifeq:{{{hide}}}|no||visibility: hidden;}}}}&quot;&gt;@[[User:Aphaia]] @[[User:BD2412]] @[[User:DannyS712]] @[[User:Ferien]] @[[User:GreenMeansGo]] @[[User:Illegitimate Barrister]] @[[User:Jusjih]] @[[User:Kalki]] @[[User:Koavf]] @[[User:Mdd]] @[[User:Miszatomic]] @[[User:Ningauble]] @[[User:Pmlineditor]] @[[User:UDScott]] @[[User:Ilovemydoodle]]&lt;/span&gt; The Main Page is missing a QOTD! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:30, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

:Nice find. I made a redirect for the time being. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:32, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Wow! That was fast. Also, surprised that managed to slip through. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:47, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Also, did you get pinged? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:48, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::did and got an email in my inbox. Thanks! —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:49, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|koavf}} Why did you get an email? (I didn't send one) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:02, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::[[Special:Preferences#mw-prefsection-watchlist]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:26, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|Koavf}} Huh? I don't see an email option there. Also, could you please deal with the massive backlog over at [[WQ:VIP]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:36, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::My bad: [[Special:Preferences#mw-prefsection-echo]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:40, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:Could you not ping all the admins in your message? This left me rather confused as there was no visible ping and I wasn't involved. If something needs urgent admin attention, please go to [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:18, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:: +1. Please do not ping multitudes of people at once, and please do not ''hide'' invisible pings so nobody can see what is going on. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 20:15, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Abuse Filter feedback ==

What are you thoughts on [[User talk:Koavf#Abuse Filter|my proposed additions to the Abuse Filter]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:44, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|Koavf|Ferien|Antandrus|UDScott}} Thoughts? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:21, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::I've edited the abuse filter before, but I'm not a whiz at it. Note that blocking edits outright based on some of these filters would certainly disrupt standard editing. I feel like this is probably not the best way to stop vandalism and would want to get more consensus from the community. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:28, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Which in particular concern you? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:40, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::I could easily see someone writing &quot;globally blocked&quot; and tripping an abuse filter tag or your username for that matter. Of course, some settings in the abuse filter will completely block an edit from happening and others will just log that it occurred, but either way is not desirable: stopping legitimate edits is bad and a log that is full of false positives is bad. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:42, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} In my request it says that &quot;globally blocked&quot; would only trip it if it was in that specific capitalization (all letters capitalized). – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:50, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::But also &quot;globally blocked lta&quot; (any capitalization) and &quot;et al&quot;? Those are totally valid words that could be used. Also, as I recall, the edit filter takes a toll for computing on the backend, so it's best to not have many edit filter entries. I could be wrong about that, tho. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:03, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Well it says that it is only applies non-auto confirmed, so not that big of a deal. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:24, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I could easily imagine a not auto-confirmed user writing &quot;et al&quot;. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:26, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|koavf}} {{done|Fixed}}&amp;nbsp; Any others remaining that you are still concerned about? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:29, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::thx/thanx would probably be it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:41, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{ping|koavf}} {{done|Fixed}}&amp;nbsp; Any more? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:52, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::I don't think so. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:02, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{ping|koavf}} So, do you support now? And can you add it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:05, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::This still needs consensus and I believe that the edit filter has a kind of high toll, so I'm still on the fence. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:07, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::{{ping|koavf}} High toll in terms of what? Also, (roughly) how many for votes for a consensus for something like this? 1? 2? 3? 5? 10? 100? The entire population of the United States?{{humor inline}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:09, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::Sorry that I was unclear: I've had a hard time sleeping. What I mean is that, in my recollection, the filter needs to do a lot of computing work, since it needs to review the contents of every edit in real time, so adding a lot of filter rules is advised against. I could be wrong, again, I'm not an edit filter whiz, but I have edited it a little on a couple of projects. Plus, as I called out before, there's a kind of human toll where you may end up with false positives or blocking edits that are valid and that takes manual oversight, so it's hard to know exactly what ruels will result in the most efficient use of time. As for how many are needed for consensus, I don't have a hard number in mind, but I would like to leave this open for a few weeks and I hope get a few others giving feedback, since I'm not terribly confident about my skills with the filter. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I'm failing to see the point in even adding that to the abuse filter now you have made it public. The reason the abuse filter is private is to make sure LTAs have a hard time trying to edit. Not simply noticing &quot;oh I can't say these words so let me change my behaviour/what I say&quot;. This LTA is always trying to get past the abuse filter and sometimes succeeds. There is a reason this abuse filter is rarely discussed on-wiki. Discussing abuse filters should not be on talk pages, let alone anywhere near the village pump. -[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:54, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass ==

:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi all,

Community members in the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] are invited to [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass|propose statements to use in the Election Compass.]]

An Election Compass is a tool to help voters select the candidates that best align with their beliefs and views. The community members will propose statements for the candidates to answer using a Lickert scale (agree/neutral/disagree). The candidates’ answers to the statements will be loaded into the Election Compass tool. Voters will use the tool by entering in their answer to the statements (agree/disagree/neutral). The results will show the candidates that best align with the voter’s beliefs and views.

Here is the timeline for the Election Compass:

July 8 - 20: Community members propose statements for the Election Compass

July 21 - 22: Elections Committee reviews statements for clarity and removes off-topic statements

July 23 - August 1: Volunteers vote on the statements

August 2 - 4: Elections Committee selects the top 15 statements

August 5 - 12: candidates align themselves with the statements

August 15: The Election Compass opens for voters to use to help guide their voting decision

The Elections Committee will select the top 15 statements at the beginning of August. The Elections Committee will oversee the process, supported by the Movement Strategy and Governance team. MSG will check that the questions are clear, there are no duplicates, no typos, and so on.

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 13:30, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

== Add template editor right ==

Some of the most used templates here are protected so only admins can edit, which is important for stopping vandalism, but, a lot of potential for fixes and improvements within these pages is also lost because of it. So, do you think that a separate template editor right should be added? (I'm not specifically talking about me, and by &quot;improvements&quot; I don't mean radical changes) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:30, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:I'm generally in favor of breaking off some of the admin user rights for individuals who have skills and motivation to do certain technical work (templates, interface admin) without doing things like blocking, protecting pages, deleting, etc. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:21, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:This seems like a good idea to me. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 02:54, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support''' – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support with caveat''' - Does this differ from 'interface editor' on other projects? [[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 14:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} What is 'interface editor'? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 14:47, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::: [[m:Interface_editors]][[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 15:26, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} Yes, very different, 'template editor' only includes the right to edit protected templates. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:28, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*I don't really consider myself much apart of the enwikiq community, but while I'm here just dropping a tech note. &quot;template editor&quot; currently would do nothing, for it to be useful the community would need to decide they want another protection level (normally more stringent than &quot;semiprotected&quot; and less stringent than &quot;protected&quot;); then administrators would need to actual configure this protection level on pages.  The community would need to determine how this new template editing access should be managed (normally it is &quot;by administrators&quot; technically, with varying local policy rules that you would determine), then add this group to editors that you want to be able to edit the pages that are protected at that level.  Most &quot;smaller&quot; (in terms of active editing communities) don't bother with this, the none/semi-protected/fully-protected scheme is sufficient. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:32, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Oppose'''. Per [[Special:ProtectedPages]] There are currently 84 fully protected templates and no fully protected modules on this wiki. I do not think it is a good use of time to set up a user group, assign it to people and pages, create policies about use/abuse/granting/revocation, update everything else that comes along with big changes in user rights (templates, scripts, policy, help pages, interface messages, etc) when this new protection level will probably be used on 30-40 pages and will be probably only be granted to 1 or 2 people, it just seems like a lot of extra bureaucracy for not much benefit. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:27, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::Noting here that only 12 projects have template editor rights enabled, and one of those is the testing wiki. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:50, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''Oppose''' Fundamentally tainted proposal given the proposer's propensity to propose new user groups seemingly for the sake of doing so rather than to fill any actual need. [[User:Pppery|Pppery]] ([[User talk:Pppery|talk]]) 03:10, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Pppery}} I have had many occasions where this right would be useful for me. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:13, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Pppery}} Please see [[w:WP:HYE|WP:HYE]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:21, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Is this really a valid reason to vote against something? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Any reason could be valid, but I don't think this is a very compelling reason for a no and were I closing this conversation, I don't know that I would count this as being very on-topic. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:46, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

== Add revision importer right ==

{{discussion-closed-top|Withdrawn and starting new vote}}
{{center|{{Ombox|image=&amp;nbsp;|text=&lt;h3&gt;Voting results as of July 17, 2022&lt;/h2&gt;{{Election results|alliance1=Support|aspan1=4|atotal4=3|apct1=50%|party1=Support|votes1=2|party2=Strong Support|votes2=0|party3=Weak Support|votes3=1|alliance5=Oppose|aspan5=4|atotal8=5|party5=Oppose|votes5=4|party6=Strong Oppose|votes6=0|party7=Weak Oppose|votes7=1|alliance9=Other|aspan9=4|atotal12=2|vatotal12=0|party9=Neutral|votes9=2|vatotal9=0|party10=Withdrawn/re-submitted/invalid|votes10=0|party11=Comment/question|votes11=0|color1=#20ff20|color2=#008e00|color3=#72ff72|color5=#ff0000|color6=#a80000|color7=#ff6868|color9=yellow|color10=black|color11=#efefef|valid=8|invalid=2}}}}}}

{{ping|koavf}} This is still in very early stages, but here is a proposal for a new user group containing the following rights:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt;
* The ability to self-revoke the right from yourself.
What do you think so far? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:27, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

=== Potential concerns ===

=== Comments ===

:It's not obvious to me why all of these are lumped together and it seems like straight up importer would work, if the community thought it was necessary or a bureaucrat/steward saw fit to give someone the right. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:22, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Well, I am posting this in hopes of getting it approved on phab. Also for the explanations:
::* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; Self-explanatory.
::* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; Self-explanatory.
::* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; Useful for advanced importing.
::* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; For merging older revisions into page that were not originally imported.
::* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; In case the rate limit triggers from sending too much data.
::* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Basic right.
::* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; If a page imported page needs to be moved without redirect.
::* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; Security reasons as with other user groups.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:34, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I'm fine with it. If you file a ticket at [[phab:]], they will want to see more consensus than this before changing the site preferences. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:33, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Thank you! I  needed to post this here to get consensus and to get feedback on possible improvements. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:34, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Also, do you think this right should be granted by stewards or bureaucrats? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:35, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I don't see why this should have to escalate all the way up to stewards. I think the only rights that should be like that are CheckUser and Oversight, but I know that I'm in the minority on that. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:43, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|koavf}} Wait, what rights other than those two require stewards? Also, I do agree with you. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:51, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::E.g. bureaucrats cannot remove any rights other than those that admins can and the bot flag. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 11:17, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support''' – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:12, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
:&lt;s&gt;'''Neutral''' - I don't know that this is really needed, but I'm not as familiar with the way things work here on Wikiquote. Maybe there's a need that isn't covered by the importers user group? Maybe that group should be modified to include these additional rights? I don't know, so I'm neutral on this proposal. [[User:Nihonjoe|Nihonjoe]] ([[User talk:Nihonjoe|talk]]) 22:15, 13 July 2022 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; Changed to oppose.
::'''Oppose''', for several reasons.
::#I think you're going out of your way to harass anyone who is voting against (or in my case, neutral about) your proposal. Your attempts to strike Ferien's vote (or any of the votes of others whose reasons you deem &quot;invalid&quot;) are especially disturbing. How about you let people have opinions that differ from yours, and leave it at that? 
::#The gigantic warning (added and continually made more obnoxious with each edit [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143520 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143522 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143526 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143527 here], and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143528 here] is completely unnecessary and only serves to make you look unhinged.
::#As others have pointed out, you don't seem to fully grasp how the various user rights work, and your proposal contains a lot of unnecessary rights bundled together apparently because you want all of the bundled rights and not because they serve any useful general purpose bundled together as proposed.
::#Going off the last point, you have repeatedly failed to express valid reasons how this would be useful to anyone other than yourself.
::For all these reasons (and probably a few others I forgot while typing this), I don't see any valid need for this new user group. [[User:Nihonjoe|Nihonjoe]] ([[User talk:Nihonjoe|talk]]) 08:34, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Seems okay'''; not really sure why it is needed, but I don't seen any compelling reason for not, so I guess that's a tentative support. Open to persuasion if I am missing something. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 02:53, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Antandrus}} Here is some more information/context:
::&lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; I regularly need to import a lot of templates (including revisions), so this would be nice.
::&lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; Useful for doing the above automatically, mass-importing pages from another wiki, or importing multiple levels deep.
::&lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; Useful for advanced importing.
::&lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; For merging older revisions into page that were not originally imported.
::&lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; If a page/template you are importing contains/is on the blacklist.
::&lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; In case you trigger the rate limit for creating too many pages.
::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Basic right. Also, similar to above.
::&lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; Deleting a page after it has been merged.
::&lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; Same as above.
::&lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; Security reasons as with other user groups.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:06, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Oppose''' Import is quite a dangerous tool. On Simple English Wikipedia we do have the importer right but it is rarely used or given out, mainly because you have to be really trusted to use it. Seeing as import could cause so much damage and that damage isn't really reversible without admin tools, you have to have a very large amount of trust in someone to give them import, and at that point if you can trust them so much to use import properly, why not give admin so they can clear up any mess they might make as well. While this is the general attitude on simplewiki, it applies to any WMF site. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:56, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Ferien}} Yes, it is a powerful tool, but why are you against this? If it is dangerous, we'll just be extra careful when giving out, like any other user right. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:01, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::It's a powerful tool and it's very difficult to reverse mistakes if you are not an admin. If you're not careful, you can import dozens of templates at once that may not be the ones you wanted to import, and you have to fix these pages or call an admin to delete these pages manually. I am also not voting against you as you seem to be implying below, import is already included in admin and so you are suggesting it should be given to non-admins, which I oppose for the reasons above. [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:44, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Ferien}} It already '''is''' given to non-admins on many other wikis. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:50, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, but not on Wikiquote. Just because many other wikis have done it wrong doesn't mean we should do it wrong too. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:10, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|Ferien}}
::::::{{Blockquote|Just because many other wikis have done it wrong}}
::::::I am not sure if this is humorous or not, but, if it isn't: 
::::::: This is a ridiculous comment, just because you don't agree doesn't make it &quot;wrong&quot;. Considering this has been done on dozens of wikis, it is probably a good choice for at-least some wikis. By making this comment, it makes your original vote look like it was made in bad faith.
::::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:23, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, they have done it wrong ''in my opinion''. Your opinion may be different but as I said, I think the same applies for most wikis and unless you are including delete in importer or importer is only added if you have a role like one on some wikis called eliminator which has delete tools and block tools, but not protection, abuse filter etc, I do not think importer on its own is appropriate. That does not make my !vote done in bad faith. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} If you don't think this should be done on ''any'' wiki, make a request on meta, rather than voting here. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:30, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} Since your vote is about generally being against the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; right for non-admins and not specifically about my request, may I please strike it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, not sure why you want to strike my vote, because that is exactly what your request is about. While it doesn't specify non-admins specifically or mention non-admins, that is exactly what you are asking for. Admins already have the import right. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:35, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I never said that importer being given on other wikis should be reversed. That wouldn't be done on meta anyway, it'd be done for individual communities as they decided to add it there. If other wikis feel that's what works for them, then that's fine. I am not really part of many other wikis' community. Only simplewiki, enwikiquote and to some extent metawiki and enwiki. However, what you were suggesting was that we should give non-admins importer on this wiki because it's done on other wikis, and as I disagree with the importer right being separate as a whole, I do not agree with that argument. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:33, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}}
::::::::::{{Blockquote|However, what you were suggesting was that we should give non-admins importer on this wiki because it's done on other wikis, and as I disagree with the importer right being separate as a whole, I do not agree with that argument.}}
::::::::::I am suggesting it should be done &quot;because it is done on other wikis&quot;, I was just pointing that out. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:38, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:03, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I have already read the message. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 08:52, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} Could explain exactly ''why'' you oppose '''''the creation''''' of this right? You have already explained that it is dangerous right, in your opinion, and should be restricted, but why do you not want it created? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:04, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Koavf}} What are your thoughts on this reply? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:17, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Whether we should have importers and who should be importers are two different things. Admins have all these rights and more, so I don't see the problem. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:17, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|ferien|koavf}} {{u|Koavf}}, just what I was thinking! This isn't an RfRI, this is a feature request. While I would like to have it, whether I get should be held in a vote for that, not if should exist at all. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|Koavf}} Can the vote be striken-off as invalid? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::So I assume you're talking about my vote? Is there any reason why it should be struck as invalid? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:40, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::No. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 10:46, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|Kalki}} Could you vote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:42, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:: I do not see any compelling need for creating such a user group, and do see that it could develop complications and problems that would have to be sorted out in often tedious ways. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 20:44, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I also '''oppose''' this - for many of the reasons already articulated above. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:29, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Kalki|UDScott}} Could you be more specific, so I could try to improve/re-submit this? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:08, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|UDScott}} Could you give me some recommendations on how to improve my proposal? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:08, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::It's not a matter of making tweaks to your proposal that will suddenly convince me - I just don't think this is something we want. I would rather see more users become admins if qualified, rather than adding more roles. I also worry about imports being done improperly and causing other issues. Bottom line is that I just don't see the value in doing this, regardless of how the proposal to do so is worded. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:57, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|UDScott}}
::::::{{Blockquote|I also worry about imports being done improperly and causing other issues.}}
::::::Well, I would assume if someone is given, they would know how to import properly. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:02, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::That's quite the logical fallacy you've got going there. Just because someone has garnered enough support to be granted a role in no way means that a process will be performed correctly. Everyone who has been in the admin role has at one time or another made an error - because of a misunderstanding, a lack of technical ability, or simply a mistake. The nomination and approval process that results in one gaining a role does not remove risk of issues. I just don't see the need for this role, especially given the risk involved (and the fact that if errors are made, it is a bit tedious to correct them). I do not support this proposal - I've explained this multiple times, even though I don't believe that I need to justify my lack of support. And a tip, especially as we are in active discussion: there's really no need to continually ping me every time you respond. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:12, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|UDScott}} As {{u|Koavf}} said, &quot;Whether we should have importers and who should be importers are two different things. Admins have all these rights and more, so I don't see the problem.&quot; Wouldn't that also apply to this vote?
::::::::{{Blockquote|And a tip, especially as we are in active discussion: there's really no need to continually ping me every time you respond.}}
::::::::That's usually how a one-to-one discussion works.
::::::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:20, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::I am applying it to this vote - to me the risk is too high for ''any''one to have it when I don't see the need for it. And no, pinging someone and just addressing them in the text of the conversation are two different things. Imagine if we were standing at a door having a discussion. You could easily say my name and make your point - or you could ring the doorbell every time before you speak. One is standard behavior and the other is a bit annoying - see the difference? IMHO, pinging should only be used when you have received no response and wish to gain someone's attention. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::What exactly ''are'' the risks to importing? I understand how it could be used maliciously (e.g. spamming, faking edits, etc.), but I don't see how it could be destructive when used in good faith. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:32, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::I believe Ferien outlined the issues very well above. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:34, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{ping|UDScott}} Well, there already are the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; user rights. I never said what the requirements would be or how strictly it would be given out, only the user rights it would contain and how it would work. Are you against the very idea of non-developers importing? And if so, wouldn't you the rights removed entirely? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:41, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Do you have any suggestions as to how I could improve this proposal? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::I do not. It seems like community consensus is tilting against it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:58, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} Currently the results are: 3 Support, 1 Neutral, 3 Oppose. So, even. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:07, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''oppose''' does not seem needed or useful, extremely sensitive rights --[[User:DannyS712|DannyS712]] ([[User talk:DannyS712|talk]]) 21:51, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|DannyS712}} Please explain further. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:30, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''neutral''' I was aksed to leave feedback, but I rarely edit Wikiquote, how often would this need to be used? [[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 14:54, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} Very often. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 14:56, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:According to [[Special:log/import]] since the software started logging imports in late 2007 the right has been used a grand total of 171 times, with 97 of those uses being the same person on the same day in 2019. The claim that this would be used &quot;very often&quot; appears to have no basis in the available facts. A breakdown of yearly usage stats for this right:
{{collapse|
:*2022 - 1 import
:*2021 - 16 imports
:*2020 - 2 imports
:*2019 - 98 imports
:*2018 - no imports
:*2017 - no imports
:*2016 - 1 import
:*2015 - no imports
:*2014 - no imports
:*2013 - no imports
:*2012 - no imports
:*2011 - 16 imports
:*2010 - no imports
:*2009 - no imports
:*2008 - 37 imports}}
:There are also some parts of this proposal that seem bizarre and poorly thought out to me - e.g. why are you including autoconfirmed in this group? Anyone with this right should already be autoconfirmed - this isn't something that should be given to newbies. History merging is quite possibly the most dangerous user right on the site, and should not be given to anyone except admins who have the technical ability to fix any messes it creates. In what situations is the &quot;delete-redirect&quot; right going to be useful - pages don't need to have the exact same name on all wikis, and if there's an existing template redirect in the way importing a new template over the top of it could cause a disaster. &quot;Supress redirect&quot; seems to be unrelated to the act of actually importing pages and seems to have been chucked in so you can history merge stuff? Wikiquote also already has the unused [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=import importer] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=transwiki transwiki importers] user groups, which seem to do exactly what you're already asking for.
:I don't know if wikiquote allows IP votes in policy decisions, but I would '''Oppose''' this proposal on the basis that the import functionality is so rarely used that the current workload can easily be handled by existing admins, this particular proposal seems to be poorly thought out and bundles a load of rights together that are, at best, tangentially related to importing pages, and that user groups to allow users to import pages already exist. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 20:09, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::# Autoconfirmed is a basic right.
::# How is history merging the most dangerous???
::# Delete-redirect is '''required''' for this to be done properly '''most''' of the time.
::::* Because it is needed if new revisions are added to the page that the revisions are being imported from.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:18, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::Also, '''please''' read the banner at the top. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:19, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|192.76.8.85}} Does this count as a vote or comment. (I am assuming a vote for the timebeing) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:25, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I don't know why you're directing me to read your idiotically large, obnoxious banner (made extra large and obnoxious in response to my comment!) and to ask you for technical explanations when your responses here are utter nonsense and demonstrate that you don't actually understand what you're proposing.
:::*''Autoconfirmed is a basic right.'' - yes, which is why it is utterly pointless to bundle it into an advanced user right supposed to be given to trusted members of the community.  Everyone who is granted the import right will already be autoconfirmed. There is no point giving them the right again, it makes as much sense as giving the &lt;code&gt;edit&lt;/code&gt; right to admins.
:::*''How is history merging the most dangerous???'' - because it can easily make an enormous mess and it has no &quot;undo&quot; functionality. If you accidentally merge together two pages with long co-existent history the only way to unmerge them is to delete the page then manually undelete individual revisions one at a time to separate the page histories out again. Fixing a history merge mistake can take literally hours. It is also completely unnecessary for importers to have this right because it is already built into the import function.
:::*''Delete-redirect is required for this to be done properly most of the time. Because it is needed if new revisions are added to the page that the revisions are being imported from.'' - this makes no sense at all, I actually cannot understand what you are trying to say here. The import function can directly add old revisions to an existing page, you just set the import location to the title of the extant page - you don't have to import pages to some other title then merge them together afterwards.
:::You can consider this to be a vote. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 20:50, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::* History merge '''is''' necessary for the follow reason:
::::** Let’s say that Person 1 ''manually'' imports Page 1 to Page 2, then Person 2 (who is an importer) wants to properly import the revisions, but in between these two events Person 3 has modified Page 1, this would cause the import to fail. So what the importer would do is:
::::**# Import the original page to Page 3.
::::**# Merge all revisions in Page 3 (before Person 1 copied Page 1 to Page 2) into Page 2.
::::**# Redirect Page 2 to Page 3.
::::**# Merge all revisions before the redirect in Page 2 into Page 3.
::::**# Use &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; to delete Page 2.
::::**# Use &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; to move Page 3 to Page 2.
::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:59, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::This doesn't make any kind of sense. You import the page with it's whole history, split the history via the history merge function (?), then combine the history back together, then delete the mess of pages you created? What you would end up with if you followed those instructions is page 3 with the entire edition history of persons 1 2 and 3 included?
:::::Again, this work flow is complete and utter nonsense. If you want to perform an import and merge revisions into existing page then you just have to tell the import tool to include history information, and the merge will be done for you. If you just want to import the revisions from before the history fork then make an XML dump of the revisions you want and import that. There is no need at all for this histmerge and redirect mess.
:::::Fundamentally though fixing history forking issues is not a job for page importers - it is a job for administrators who have access to the proper page deletion, undeletion and history toolbox. It makes no sense to give users some administrative tools to allow them to, via a unnecessarily convoluted methods, fix an issue that has never actually occurred to date. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:33, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I have this issue very often, that's why I proposed it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:36, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|Koavf}} Is history merge very dangerous? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:43, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::What &quot;issue&quot; are you actually having, because &quot;import revisions from another wiki and merge them into an existing page&quot; is functionality that the import tool already has - you don't need all the extra user rights to do it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::I meant merging within a wiki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:47, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::&quot;merging within a wiki&quot; is not a part of any sensible workflow for importing pages. User rights should be set up as groups of related rights that multiple people should find useful, that have similar access requirements, and generally the ability to do an action should be bundled with the ability to undo it. Creating a user group isn't an opportunity to put together a &quot;grab bag&quot; of rights that you personally think you would like. An &quot;importer&quot; right should just contain the stuff needed to import pages, i.e. &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt;. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:57, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::That why is called &quot;'''revision''' importer&quot; and not just &quot;importer&quot;. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:58, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::And what is the supposed difference between this &quot;revision importer&quot; and the regular &quot;importer&quot; right? You can already import revisions and add them to the history of pages using the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; rights. To me this looks like a combination of you not actually knowing what the import right does, a bunch of utterly bizarre suggestions (like the bundled autoconfirmed right) and you trying to make your own personal user group with just the stuff you want in it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 22:03, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::Maybe &quot;revision editor&quot; or &quot;revision manager&quot; would be a more accurate title? Also, this isn't just for me. If it was, it would also include many other rights (e.g. rollback, templateeditor). – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:06, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::We already have a user group that allows certain people to edit page histories, they're called &quot;administrators&quot;. I do not think a user group which allows editors to screw up page histories but does not include the tools to fix them is a good idea. ''this isn't just for me.'' seems to be in direct contradiction to your statement below that the big issue with the existing importer groups is that ''Neither of which fully covers my needs.'' which is it - a general &quot;importer&quot; group for everyone, or a user group specifically tailored to what you want to do. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:41, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::A revision editor would be for '''revisions''', not general administrative rights. Revisions editing includes imports. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:42, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::What is the difference between &quot;general administrative rights&quot; and &quot;revision&quot; rights. They are, as far as I can tell, the same thing. Pages on wikis are nothing but a string of revisions, how is messing around with revisions a distinct operation from messing around with pages? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:50, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::I didn’t say it ''was'' used very often, I said it ''would'' be used very often, '''if implemented'''. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:15, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*I got pinged here from enwiki: enwikiquote already has local admins which have transwiki access, and if there is a good reason this community needs xmlimports the &quot;importer&quot; group could also be added via the existing group process. xmlimport can be &quot;dangerous&quot; so I'd suggest that you not add it to anyone that wouldn't otherwise qualify as an interface admin here. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:25, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:{{ping|Xaosflux}} This would only be given to users who are '''at least''' as trustworthy as interface admins. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:29, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::{{ping|Xaosflux}} Also, could you ask me more questions, so you could come to a final decision? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:31, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::I don't really consider myself part of the enwikiquote community - the primary governance of permissions for this project belongs to them. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:36, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::{{ping|Xaosflux}} Please, very few regulars here actually vote in these. Outside feedback would be very helpful. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:38, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:wikiquote already has [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=import importer] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=transwiki transwiki importer] groups, but they're not currently used. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:35, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::Neither of which fully covers my needs. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:37, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
{{discussion-closed-bottom}}

== Reverse-protection cross-(wiki?) RfC (phab) ==

What is your opinion on [[phab:T312835|this]] feature request? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:45, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== QOTD emergency ==

{{:WQT:PAA|hide=false}} QOTD is missing! {{done}} by Kalki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:22, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
: I just posted it a couple minutes ago — it is certainly NOT any extraordinary emergency. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:25, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Kalki}} Was already marking as fixed while you were leaving your comment. In-fact a got an edit conflict message. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:27, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{redlink|Redlinks}} on the front page are a pretty big deal. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:07, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} Absolutely agreed. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:38, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, please stop pinging all administrators. If there is genuinely an emergency like this that needs an admin, please make your way to [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Notice about the revision importer proposal ==

Originally it was planned to be a discussion only for feedback and improvement, and not a vote since it was nowhere near done. But it accidentally turned into a vote, and as such, failed, as I could provide sufficient information about purpose or how it would work. I will be closing it shortly. I will start a new only for feedback and not voting, after I think it is sufficiently done, I will start a new vote. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:54, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Feedback on proposal for new user right ==

{{Notice box|text='''This is not a vote,''' this is simply a discussion related to improving and fixing potential issues with this proposal, users who oppose this may provide feedback on how to make it less unappealing to them, but if you are entirely against it and have no constructive feedback to offer, '''do not comment here.'''&lt;br&gt;&lt;big&gt;You may also ask questions here, '''regardless of what you think of the proposal.'''&lt;/big&gt;}}

This is a proposal for a 'revision importer' right, this would be primarily used for cross-wiki importing, though it will also be used for other purposes.

This is needed because a lot of pages and templates that exist on other wikis do not exist here. Also, this can also be used for importing lost pages from dead wikis. (e.g. simple English Wikiquote)

This right would be appointed by bureaucrats.

Here are the user rights it is planned to contain so far:

{{:User:Ilovemydoodle/proposal/usergroups/revision importer}}

Here are the reasons for each right:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; — Self-explanatory.
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; — Self-explanatory. Also helpful for mass-importing pages and in cases where revisions need to manually be modified.
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — This is needed if a template that has been imported, has been updated on another wiki.
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; — If an imported page is on the title blacklist.
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; — Potential rate limit issues. (this might not be neccessary)
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Similar to &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Same as &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; — Security reasons as with other rights.

=== Examples ===

Here are some examples where this right would preform better than regular importers or administrators.

==== 1 ====

Let’s say that Person 1 ''manually'' imports Page 1 to Page 2, then Person 2 (who is a revision importer) wants to properly import the revisions, but in between these two events, Person 3 has modified Page 1, this would mean that if it was imported traditionally it would either fail, or would appear to succeed, but all revisions in-between wouldn't be valid for this wiki. (e.g. if a template has to have all mentions of 'Wikipedia' changed to 'Wikiquote', this is pretty obvious, but you could imagine more subtle issues). Then, if someone didn't like certain changes that were made, and rolled-back to an earlier revision, the new versiom wouldn't be valid for this wiki. With this type of importing, the revision import could manually edit the revisions before importing, so all revision would be valid. This could be done via the following process: 

# Import the original page (from the other wiki) to Page 3.
# Merge all revisions in Page 3 (before Person 1 copied Page 1 to Page 2) into Page 2.
# Redirect Page 2 to Page 3.
# Merge all revisions before the redirect in Page 2 into Page 3.
# Use &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; to delete Page 2.
# Use &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; to move Page 3 to Page 2.

=== Comments ===

– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:07, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|AC9016|Nihonjoe|Antandrus|Koavf|Stang|ShakespeareFan00|Rubbish computer|Dave Braunschweig|Atcovi|Ottawahitech}} Thoughts? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:29, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

Why are you wasting everyone's time by repeating the exact same discussion as above which will lead to the exact same conclusion? This is an terrible idea for a user group - it is completely redundant to the existing &quot;import&quot; group, contains a load of disjointed and disconnected rights that have no business being bundled together and per the discussion above the proposer is unable to justify why this group should exist or what purpose it is supposed to serve. Going through the list of rights:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; — Not enabled anywhere for any user group, even stewards. Has the ability to crash medium to large wikis, so the devs are unlikely to approve enabling. The proposer doesn't appear to understand what this does, it has nothing to do with templates, it's intended for content pages, when you export a page with this setting enabled it also exports all linked pages, and all pages linked to those pages and so on until you hit the depth limit.
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, Import can already merge page histories, extremely dangerous and can easily make a huge mess, should remain restricted to administrators.
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded. Not a frequently occurring issue, if a title is deemed unsuitable by the blacklist it can just be imported to a different title, pages don't need to have the same name everywhere.
* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, no-one should be importing pages so quickly they hit the rate limit.
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded - everyone even being considered for import user rights should be autoconfirmed.
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, not related to importing pages, only included because the proposer apparently doesn't understand how importing pages works.
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, not related to importing pages, only included because the proposer apparently doesn't understand how importing pages works.
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
The &quot;proposed&quot; user rights are not possible to implement (the database doesn't track which revisions have been imported) would not get past wmf legal (you cannot view any kind of deleted content without passing an RFA or equivalent process) and duplicate existing admin functionality.

My opinion is that the proposer here does not understand what they are proposing, how user rights work, how importing work and has no idea what this user group is supposed to be used for. I am unimpressed that rather than answering the question &quot;what is this supposed to be used for and how is it different from importer/administrator rights&quot; they have decided to shut down the discussion above and start another one on exactly the same thing. I am even more unimpressed that they have left another &quot;notice&quot; telling people that unless they are coming here to tell them how amazing their idea is they are unwelcome to comment. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:54, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''This is not a vote,''' please read the header. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:55, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::Can you please point out where I voted? '''Please read my comment'''. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:56, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::&lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; — This might a problem, I will look into this. Thanks for the feedback.
:::&lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::&lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; Not frequent, but if you are importing a lot of pages, this could be an issue.
:::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Specific cases (e.g. second account, changing accounts, bots, etc.), also there is no harm to adding this right.
:::&lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::&lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:03, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::You haven't &quot;explained &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt;. You've posted a completely ridiculous workflow which would involve using them to do something the import right can already do.
::::Why would &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; be useful? What kinds of pages are you intending to import where the title would be so terrible it would hit an entry on the blacklist.
::::&lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; you clearly do not understand what this does, I'll give you a clue, it has nothing to do with the &quot;amount of data&quot; that you're sending to the server. Another clue, import actions aren't even rate limited.
::::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; why on earth would you include a user right that the person already has? It's a complete waste of time. If for some reason you need to import pages using a brand new alt account why couldn't you do the normal thing, and assign the user the &quot;confirmed&quot; user rights?
::::You still haven't answered the fundamental question - what is this right supposed to do that the &quot;import&quot; right can't already do, and why do you need all these extra user rights to re-implement functionality that already exists. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 02:16, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::How do you ''modify'' a revision with regular import? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:22, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::You can use the &quot;import from a file&quot; option and edit the XML before you upload it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:05, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::...which would require the removal and replacement of the existing revisions. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:09, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Why would you be replacing revisions with things that didn't actually exist? The whole point of the page history is to serve as the legally required record of who contributed what content to a page - there is no situation whatsoever where it would be appropriate to replace actual revisions with stuff you made up. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:12, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Please see example 1. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:13, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::example 1 is a completely ridiculous workflow that only demonstrates that you don't actually understand how anything works. Even so, at what stage of example 1 do you need to make up revisions that don't actually exist? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::Anywhere between 2 and 4. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:21, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:This user right would '''not''' allow a user to view deleted content. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:12, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::The &lt;code&gt;view-deleted-imported-revision&lt;/code&gt; would fall afoul of [[meta:Limits to configuration changes]], specifically ''Allow non-admins to view deleted stuff''. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 02:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::It would only allow the viewing of content deleted using this right, which would be stored separately to admin-deleted content. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Again, you don't appear to understand how anything actually works. Mediawiki doesn't store deleted revisions separately, they're in the main revision table but flagged as deleted. Non-admins are banned from viewing deleted content, it doesn't matter how it was deleted or what user right was involved. This is a hard limit by the WMF legal department and cannot be overturned via feature requests or consensus. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:08, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::There is a way of storing it separately. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:09, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Not in the current version of Mediawiki there isn't. Even suppressed material is stored in the main revision table with the &lt;code&gt;DELETED_RESTRICTED&lt;/code&gt; flag set. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::It would be stored in the main archive table, it would be differentiated using the unused field &lt;code&gt;ar_flags&lt;/code&gt; – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:20, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Do you think more should be addressed in this proposal? If so, what? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:50, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::No. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:37, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|Koavf}} Sorry, I just realized this now, I meant to say &quot;more questions addressed&quot;. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:53, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Not really. I just think this is your proposal. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:24, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Do you support it so far? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:25, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|koavf}} Also, what do you think the requirements to get this right should be? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:29, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Just asking for them and the community voting, just like with other rights. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:46, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I don't object, but I don't have strong feelings on it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:47, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

I'm not a frequent contributor to Wikiquote, but I was asked to comment. I don't see a problem with the overall proposal if it meets a community need. However, I would not include &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt;. There's almost no legitimate reason for a human being to trigger that limit. Save that right for bots. -- [[User:Dave Braunschweig|Dave Braunschweig]] ([[User talk:Dave Braunschweig|talk]]) 16:58, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:06, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
*First of all, you should not have started another discussion. It was going fine and people were still giving their opinions on it. In fact there was a point I wanted to respond to you on but couldn't because you closed the discussion. Secondly, seeing as 50% of people opposed, and only 30% supported, I'm just curious why you are still trying to push this idea and encouraging others to not oppose it despite quite a clear result voting-wise but also consensus-wise that the community doesn't want this. And I'm especially concerned about how you have closed another discussion and opened another one where apparently if you are entirely against the proposal, you are not allowed to comment. This makes it harder to find the community consensus that seemed to quite clearly be &quot;we don't want this.&quot; --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:42, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:The main issue provided was that there wasn’t any reason to do this (because I did not include one in the original vote), so I am trying to redo this in a better way. Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:44, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::You could have always edited the reason in the original discussion, and that would have had the benefit of not freezing the discussion for everyone else who participated... --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:50, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::Well, I am redoing the ''whole'' proposal, so most of those votes won't matter anymore. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:53, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::It seems like the proposal is very similar to the one you just suggested. Just because ''you'' don't think those &quot;votes&quot; don't matter anymore doesn't mean you should move to a completely different discussion on the exact same topic, with some bizarre restrictions on what I should comment and what I should not. I see no reason for you to have opened another discussion and am considering merging it so the community are more aware about what your plans are. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:46, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::::The original vote was poorly conceived, this is my second attempt, please don't associate this with the original. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:50, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::::Sorry but I see no reason to not associate this with the original proposal. Yes, there are a couple of changes based on feedback, however your proposal is essentially the same, but instead, you have decided to discourage people opposed to it from commenting. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 09:13, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
*Ok seeing as my opinion is clear at this point - that giving importer to non-admins is generally a bad idea - let's focus on the problems with this proposal. Autoconfirmed is unnecessary. It shouldn't affect rate limit, for autoconfirmed users. Merge history is not needed, although I'm unsure if this is included within importer - you can just import the page again, or update it manually for situations where it's updated on one wiki but not another - which is rare. tboverride - not sure when an imported page would ever be on the title blacklist? Overall, seems as though even more unnecessary admin-level tools are going into a right where not as much trust is necessary. If a person needs this many rights, why not get admin?? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:40, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== Sorry ==

For leaving feedback requests on far too many user pages, I have stopped, and will only ask users that are actually interested, and can help. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Movement Strategy and Governance News - Issue 7 ==

&lt;div style = &quot;line-height: 1.2&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:200%;&quot;&gt;'''Movement Strategy and Governance News'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:120%; color:#404040;&quot;&gt;'''Issue 7, July-September 2022'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:120%; float:right;&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7|'''Read the full newsletter''']]&lt;/span&gt; 
----
Welcome to the 7th issue of Movement Strategy and Governance News! The newsletter distributes relevant news and events about the implementation of Wikimedia's [[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy/Initiatives|Movement Strategy recommendations]], other relevant topics regarding Movement governance, as well as different projects and activities supported by the Movement Strategy and Governance (MSG) team of the Wikimedia Foundation.  

The MSG Newsletter is delivered quarterly, while the more frequent [[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy/Updates|Movement Strategy Weekly]] will be delivered weekly. Please remember to subscribe [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Global message delivery/Targets/MSG Newsletter Subscription|here]] if you would like to receive future issues of this newsletter.
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;margin-top:3px; padding:10px 10px 10px 20px; background:#fffff; border:2px solid #808080; border-radius:4px; font-size:100%;&quot;&gt; 

* '''Movement sustainability''': Wikimedia Foundation's annual sustainability report has been published. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A1&lt;/tvar&gt;|continue reading]])
* '''Improving user experience''': recent improvements on the desktop interface for Wikimedia projects. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A2|continue reading]])
* '''Safety and inclusion''': updates on the revision process of the Universal Code of Conduct Enforcement Guidelines. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A3|continue reading]])
* '''Equity in decisionmaking''': reports from Hubs pilots conversations, recent progress from the Movement Charter Drafting Committee, and a new white paper for futures of participation in the Wikimedia movement. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A4|continue reading]])
* '''Stakeholders coordination''': launch of a helpdesk for Affiliates and volunteer communities working on content partnership. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A5|continue reading]])
* '''Leadership development''': updates on leadership projects by Wikimedia movement organizers in Brazil and Cape Verde. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A6|continue reading]])
* '''Internal knowledge management''': launch of a new portal for technical documentation and community resources. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A7|continue reading]])
* '''Innovate in free knowledge''': high-quality audiovisual resources for scientific experiments and a new toolkit to record oral transcripts. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A8|continue reading]])
* '''Evaluate, iterate, and adapt''': results from the Equity Landscape project pilot ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A9|continue reading]])
*
'''Other news and updates''': a new forum to discuss Movement Strategy implementation, upcoming Wikimedia Foundation Board of Trustees election, a new podcast to discuss Movement Strategy, and change of personnel for the Foundation's Movement Strategy and Governance team. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A10|continue reading]])

&lt;/div&gt;&lt;section end=&quot;msg-newsletter&quot;/&gt;

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 22:59, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Announcing the six candidates for the Board of Trustees election ==

:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election/Short|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election/Short}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi everyone,

The Affiliate Representatives have completed their voting period. The selected 2022 Board of Trustees candidates are:

* Tobechukwu Precious Friday ([[:m:User:Tochiprecious|Tochiprecious]])
* Farah Jack Mustaklem ([[:m:User:Fjmustak|Fjmustak]])
* Shani Evenstein Sigalov ([[:m:User:Esh77|Esh77]])
* Kunal Mehta ([[:m:User:Legoktm|Legoktm]])
* Michał Buczyński ([[:m:User:Aegis Maelstrom|Aegis Maelstrom]])
* Mike Peel ([[:m:User:Mike Peel|Mike Peel]])

You may see more information about the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Results|Results]] and [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Stats|Statistics]] of this Board election.

The Affiliate organizations selected representatives to vote on behalf of the Affiliate organization. The Affiliate Representatives proposed questions for the candidates to answer in mid-June. These answers from candidates and the information provided from the Analysis Committee provided support for the representatives as they made their decision.

Please take a moment to appreciate the Affiliate Representatives and Analysis Committee members for taking part in this process and helping to grow the Board of Trustees in capacity and diversity. These hours of volunteer work connect us across understanding and perspective. Thank you for your participation.

Thank you to the community members who put themselves forward as candidates for the Board of Trustees. Considering joining the Board of Trustees is no small decision. The time and dedication candidates have shown to this point speaks to their commitment to this movement. Congratulations to those candidates who have been selected. A great amount of appreciation and gratitude for those candidates not selected. Please continue to share your leadership with Wikimedia.

What can voters do now?

[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Results|Review the results of the Affiliate selection process]].

[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election|Read more here about the next steps in the 2022 Board of Trustee election]].

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''&lt;/translate&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;section end=&quot;announcement-content&quot; /&gt;

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 19:35, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== Let's talk about the Desktop Improvements ==

[[File:Vector 2022 showing language menu with a blue menu trigger and blue menu items 01.jpg|thumb]]
Join an online meeting with the team working on the [[mw:Reading/Web/Desktop Improvements|Desktop Improvements]]! It will take place on '''26 July 2022 at [https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?iso=20220726T1200 12:00 UTC] and [https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?iso=20220726T1900 19:00 UTC]''' on Zoom. '''[https://wikimedia.zoom.us/j/5304280674 Click here to join]'''. Meeting ID: 5304280674. [https://wikimedia.zoom.us/u/kc2hamfYz9 Dial by your location].

[[mw:Special:MyLanguage/Reading/Web/Desktop Improvements/Updates/Talk to Web|Read more]]. See you! [[User:SGrabarczuk (WMF)|SGrabarczuk (WMF)]] ([[User talk:SGrabarczuk (WMF)|talk]]) 16:19, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:SGrabarczuk (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:SGrabarczuk_(WMF)/sandbox/MM/En_fallback&amp;oldid=23430301 --&gt;

== Vote for Election Compass Statements ==

:''[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements|You can find this message translated into additional languages on Meta-wiki.]]''
:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi all,

Volunteers in the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] are invited to [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass/Statements|vote for statements to use in the Election Compass]]. You can vote for the statements you would like to see included in the Election Compass on Meta-wiki.

An Election Compass is a tool to help voters select the candidates that best align with their beliefs and views. The community members will propose statements for the candidates to answer using a Lickert scale (agree/neutral/disagree). The candidates’ answers to the statements will be loaded into the Election Compass tool. Voters will use the tool by entering in their answer to the statements (agree/disagree/neutral). The results will show the candidates that best align with the voter’s beliefs and views.

Here is the timeline for the Election Compass:

*&lt;s&gt;July 8 - 20: Volunteers propose statements for the Election Compass&lt;/s&gt;
*&lt;s&gt;July 21 - 22: Elections Committee reviews statements for clarity and removes off-topic statements&lt;/s&gt;
*July 23 - August 3: Volunteers vote on the statements
*August 4: Elections Committee selects the top 15 statements
*August 5 - 12: candidates align themselves with the statements
*August 16: The Election Compass opens for voters to use to help guide their voting decision

The Elections Committee will select the top 15 statements at the beginning of August


Best, 

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 17:20, 26 July 2022 (UTC)

== Names for cleanup categories ==

Hello,

I'm going to start localising a load of imported clean-up templates over the next few weeks, and I wanted some feedback from the community on what terminology to use for the associated categories. Some of these clean-up templates sort main space pages into categories of the form &quot;Articles needing foo&quot;, some of them sort them into categories of the form &quot;Wikiquote pages needing foo&quot; (and some templates have been half-localised and sort them into both!). What is the preferred terminology for these kind of pages? &quot;Article&quot; or &quot;Wikiquote pages&quot;? Just thought I'd get some feedback before editing dozens of templates and making dozens of categories. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:18, 28 July 2022 (UTC)

:Content in the main namespace can be &quot;articles&quot; for sure, especially if that makes it easier. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:04, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:Koavf|Koavf]] Thanks, that's really helpful. I'll make a start localising and cleaning up these templates so they don't sort pages into nonsense like [[:Category:Wikipedia external links cleanup]].
::There's one other template I'd like some feedback on, {{tl|cleanup}}. This template seems to have been hijacked and now does a completley different function to when it was a wikiquote specific one; it used to be for articles that didn't fit into any of the specific cleanup categories, now it's a generic &quot;tag everything&quot; type template. As it stands this template has been copied from the English Wikipedia and has a lot of complexity and features that don't make sense here. As I see it there are a few ways we could move forward with this template:
::# Roll it back to the old, wikiquote specific version
::# Try to localise the current template properly (I'm not keen on this, it is way too complex and has way too much subcategorization for a project of this size).
::# Try to simplify the new template to produce something that works well on this project.
::# Remake the template in the new style, but replicating the functionality of the old clean-up template as much as possible.
::There are also a couple of features of the new style template that I'd like to get some feedback on whether they're actually useful here, to start:
::# The new template asks you to submit a reason when tagging a page for cleanup, is this required on this project and is populating [[:Creating Category:Cleanup tagged articles without a reason field]] useful?
::# Is categorising pages by namespace useful? e.g. sorting pages into &quot;Wikiquote categories needing cleanup&quot;, &quot;Wikiquote templates needing cleanup&quot;, &quot;Wikiquote Articles needing cleanup&quot; etc? My gut feeling is no, given that there are less than 100 pages tagged in total.
::As you might be able to tell I'm a bit lost when it comes to figuring out what to do with {{tl|cleanup}}. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:43, 30 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I don't think that this project is big or active enough to need to be sorted by namespace with cleanup templates. If you think it's best to revert back to how this template functioned back in April, then I support that. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:56, 31 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Thanks, I'll give it a few days to see if anyone else has any comments, if not I'll revert back to the old version of the template. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 16:43, 1 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::Reverted back to the old version since no objections were raised. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 15:14, 6 August 2022 (UTC)

== Decorative quotation templates ==

What is the community's opinion on decorative quotation templates like [[Template:Blockquote]]? The [[Wikiquote:Manual of style|manual of style]] and [[Wikiquote:Guide to layout|guide to layout]] says that articles should be composed of plain bulleted lists, but these templates have been added to a few places, e.g. [[Jill Biden]]. Should they be removed, or should the manual of style be updated to allow them? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 15:46, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
:I am not a fan. I see it as a similar discussion regarding the bolding of quotes. To me the different ways of presenting quotes is a bit jarring and there does nto seem to be any criteria used for which quotes use this alternate style. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 16:26, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
* It's useful on other projects. But it's a little like having a specially formatted box on Wikipedia for prose. Uh...prose is kindof the main point of the project. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 16:39, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
*I am also not a fan - I'd prefer as little markup as possible in our pages, since I think markup is off-putting for newbies. Text only is good. I personally tend to be a minimalist on such stuff. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 18:46, 3 August 2022 (UTC)

== If you love somebody, let them go ==

&quot;If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.&quot;&lt;br style=&quot;margin-bottom:0.5em&quot;/&gt;Seems attributed to [[Kahlil Gibran]] by random image search results. A similar variant &quot;If you love something, let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever.&quot; is attributed to [[w:en:Douglas Horton]] by [http://www.quotehd.com/quotes/douglas-horton-clergyman-if-you-love-something-let-it-go-free-if-it-doesnt-come-back another random image search result]. Is either of these correct? If not, perhaps the misattribution could be mentioned on [[Kahlil Gibran]]? &lt;span id=&quot;Alexis_Jazz:1659594815083:WikiquoteBWLCLNVillage_pump&quot; class=&quot;BawlCmt&quot;&gt;[[User:Alexis Jazz|Alexis Jazz]] ([[User talk:Alexis Jazz|talk]]) 06:33, 4 August 2022 (UTC)&lt;/span&gt;

== Any tutorials?  ==

Hi Wikiquote friends, I'm TheAafi, and I mostly contribute on English Wikipedia. I happen to be founder of [[:m:Deoband Community Wikimedia|Deoband Community Wikimedia]], a recognized Wikimedia user group affiliate. I recently organized a series of events to bring attention of DCW volunteers to Wikiquote (see: [[:m:Deoband Community Wikimedia/Events/Wikiquote Delhi August 2022|this page for details]]). Is there any training material already available that I could utilize for this purpose. If not, DCW would be like to aid in this necessary endeavor. Regards, ─ [[User:TheAafi|&lt;span style=&quot;color:SteelBlue&quot;&gt;The Aafī&lt;/span&gt;]] &lt;sup&gt;[[User talk:TheAafi|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#80A0FF&quot;&gt;&lt;sup&gt;(talk)&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/sup&gt; 13:14, 11 August 2022 (UTC)

== Delay of the 2022 Wikimedia Foundation Board of Trustees election ==

Hi all,

I am reaching out to you today with an update about the timing of the voting for the Board of Trustees election.

As many of you are already aware, this year we are offering an [[metawiki:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass|Election Compass]] to help voters identify the alignment of candidates on some key topics. Several candidates requested an extension of the character limitation on their responses expanding on their positions, and the Elections Committee felt their reasoning was consistent with the goals of a fair and equitable election process.

To ensure that the longer statements can be translated in time for the election, the Elections Committee and Board Selection Task Force decided to delay the opening of the Board of Trustees election by one week - a time proposed as ideal by staff working to support the election.

Although it is not expected that everyone will want to use the Election Compass to inform their voting decision, the Elections Committee felt it was more appropriate to open the voting period with essential translations for community members across languages to use if they wish to make this important decision.

The voting will open on August 23 at 00:00 UTC and close on September 6 at 23:59 UTC.

Please find this message translated in additional languages [[m:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Delay of Board of Trustees election|here]].

Best regards,

On behalf of the Elections Committee

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 09:23, 16 August 2022 (UTC)

== Invitation to join Movement Strategy Forum ==

Hello everyone,

The [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/ Movement Strategy Forum] (MS Forum) is a multilingual collaborative space for all conversations about Movement Strategy implementation. It provides a great opportunity to share your Movement Strategy(MS) work, find collaborators, and get even more support and ideas for your MS projects. We are inviting all Movement participants to collaborate on the MS Forum. The goal of the forum is to build community collaboration using an inclusive multilingual platform. 

The [[metawiki:Movement Strategy|Movement Strategy]] is a collaborative effort to imagine and build the future of the Wikimedia Movement. Anyone can contribute to the Movement Strategy, from a comment to a full-time project. 

Join this forum with your Wikimedia account, say hi [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/t/say-hello/79 here] and go ahead and join or start a conversation on the recommendation you are most passionate about! Feel free to discuss your MS project ideas and plans or even reports from MS projects you have worked on.  To get started, you can also watch [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/t/a-walk-through-the-movement-strategy-forum/1431 this video].

The Movement Strategy and Governance team (MSG) launched the proposal for this MS Forum in May. After a 2-month review period, we have just published the [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/t/ms-forum-community-review-report/1436 Community Review Report]. It includes a summary of the discussions, metrics, and information about the next steps.

We look forward to seeing you at the MS Forum! 

Best regards,

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 09:40, 19 August 2022 (UTC)

== The 2022 Board of Trustees Election Community Voting period is now open  ==

:''[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/The 2022 Board of Trustees election Community Voting period is now open|You can find this message translated into additional languages on Meta-wiki.]]''
:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/The 2022 Board of Trustees election Community Voting period is now open|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/The 2022 Board of Trustees election Community Voting period is now open}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi everyone,

The Community Voting period for the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] is now open. Here are some helpful links to get you the information you need to vote:

*  Try the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass|Election Compass]], showing how candidates stand on 15 different topics.
* [[m:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Campaign Videos|Watch the candidate videos]] or read the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Candidates|candidate statements]] and [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Affiliate_Organization_Participation/Candidate_Questions|answers to Affiliate questions]]
* [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Apply to be a Candidate|Learn more about the skills the Board seeks]] and how the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Candidates|Analysis Committee found candidates align with those skills]]

If you are ready to vote, you may go to [[Special:SecurePoll/vote/Wikimedia_Foundation_Board_Elections_2022|SecurePoll voting page]] to vote now. '''You may vote from August 23 at 00:00 UTC to September 6 at 23:59 UTC.''' To see about your voter eligibility, please visit the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Voter_eligibility_guidelines|voter eligibility page]].

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 21:12, 23 August 2022 (UTC)

== RevDel policy ==

Revision deletion has been used 278 times this year and 86 times across the whole of 2021... so, it's clear revision deletion on this wiki is becoming more used and fast. I think it's only right with increasing RevDel use to have a RevDel policy. While admins have RevDel reasons they can give when deleting a revision from public view, some are broad. These options are the following:
*Copyright violation
*Inappropriate comment
*Inappropriate username
*Potentially libelous information
*Personal information

A few personal comments about this:
#Inappropriate comment specifically is extremely broad. What does an inappropriate comment mean? Would calling someone stupid be eligible under this option? Or would the comment have to be more disruptive? Note that revision deletion was not created to deal with &quot;ordinary&quot; incivility.
#Potentially libelous information and Personal information should ''not'' be openly dealt with by admins, to avoid the [[Streisand effect]], and should instead be dealt with by oversighters. We currently do not have any local oversighters, so we contact stewards privately if oversight is needed here. These two options shouldn't be part of a RevDel policy, in my opinion.
#Regardless of policy, options that should be used for oversight should be separated from common delete options to avoid extra attention.

I have a few ideas for future RevDel options, and if there's a consensus for them, these should be noted down on a Wikiquote: page as a policy, potentially as an addition to [[Wikiquote:Deletion policy]] or by creating [[Wikiquote:Revision deletion policy]], also depending on the community's preference. These options can be changed on [[MediaWiki:Revdelete-reason-dropdown]].

I would appreciate anyone's opinions for these ideas, that are inspired by enwiki's [[w:Wikipedia:Revision deletion|revision deletion policy]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

=== RD1: Blatant violations of the copyright policy ===
This would be fairly basic, a replacement to our current option &quot;Copyright violation&quot;. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
==== Comments ====
* {{support}} Sensible and it helps keep this a free culture community. While very unlikely, it also shields us from legal risk. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:49, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

=== RD2: Grossly insulting, degrading, or offensive material ===
A diff that has little to no project value whatsoever - for example, slurs, smears and grossly inappropriate material that has no project value, but not &quot;ordinary&quot; incivility, personal attacks or conduct accusations. If a page has a grossly improper title, the page title can be deleted in the creation and deletion logs too. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

==== Comments ====

=== RD3: Purely disruptive material ===
Purely disruptive material that does not help the project at all - for example, harassment, grossly inappropriate threats or attacks, malicious HTML or CSS, shock pages, phishing or virus pages, or web pages that disparage or threaten someone and serve no valid purpose. Spam links are not covered under this policy. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

==== Comments ====

=== Other RevDel ideas? ===
Any other ideas for a RevDel policy can be put as another section with ===, above this one. Thanks for your input and help. -- [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>kxcyvubg2qsklial4xvo0i55xpfy2c6</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158635</id>
      <parentid>3158547</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T17:53:30Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Koavf</username>
        <id>6765</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Comments */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="107240" xml:space="preserve">__NEWSECTIONLINK__
{{Wikiquote:Village pump/Header}}

== Help needed ==

Originally when GRP create the ED page I forgot about it, now he's doing it again, could someone help get it deleted? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:51, 1 July 2022 (UTC)

:The harder you try, the more likely it is to remain, and the more people will want to look at it. It's like that old fable of trying to catch your breath by running after it.
:My advice: let it go. Let it go. Let - it - go. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 17:40, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Antandrus}} {{done}} will do that, thanks for the advice. Also, I got a message from them as well, [https://encyclopediadramatica.online/User:MarioMario456/talk3 here]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:34, 2 July 2022 (UTC)

== Results of Wiki Loves Folklore 2022 is out! ==

&lt;div lang=&quot;en&quot; dir=&quot;ltr&quot; class=&quot;mw-content-ltr&quot;&gt;
{{int:please-translate}}
[[File:Wiki Loves Folklore Logo.svg|right|150px|frameless]]

Hi, Greetings

The winners for '''[[c:Commons:Wiki Loves Folklore 2022|Wiki Loves Folklore 2022]]''' is announced!

We are happy to share with you winning images for this year's edition. This year saw over 8,584 images represented on commons in over 92 countries. Kindly see images '''[[:c:Commons:Wiki Loves Folklore 2022/Winners|here]]'''

Our profound gratitude to all the people who participated and organized local contests and photo walks for this project.

We hope to have you contribute to the campaign next year.

'''Thank you,'''

'''Wiki Loves Folklore International Team'''

--[[User:MediaWiki message delivery|MediaWiki message delivery]] ([[User talk:MediaWiki message delivery|talk]]) 16:12, 4 July 2022 (UTC)

&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Tiven2240@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Distribution_list/Non-Technical_Village_Pumps_distribution_list&amp;oldid=23454230 --&gt;

== QOTD ==

&lt;span style=&quot;position: absolute; {{#ifeq:{{{hide}}}|false||{{#ifeq:{{{hide}}}|no||visibility: hidden;}}}}&quot;&gt;@[[User:Aphaia]] @[[User:BD2412]] @[[User:DannyS712]] @[[User:Ferien]] @[[User:GreenMeansGo]] @[[User:Illegitimate Barrister]] @[[User:Jusjih]] @[[User:Kalki]] @[[User:Koavf]] @[[User:Mdd]] @[[User:Miszatomic]] @[[User:Ningauble]] @[[User:Pmlineditor]] @[[User:UDScott]] @[[User:Ilovemydoodle]]&lt;/span&gt; The Main Page is missing a QOTD! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:30, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

:Nice find. I made a redirect for the time being. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:32, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Wow! That was fast. Also, surprised that managed to slip through. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:47, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Also, did you get pinged? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:48, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::did and got an email in my inbox. Thanks! —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:49, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|koavf}} Why did you get an email? (I didn't send one) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:02, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::[[Special:Preferences#mw-prefsection-watchlist]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:26, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|Koavf}} Huh? I don't see an email option there. Also, could you please deal with the massive backlog over at [[WQ:VIP]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:36, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::My bad: [[Special:Preferences#mw-prefsection-echo]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:40, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:Could you not ping all the admins in your message? This left me rather confused as there was no visible ping and I wasn't involved. If something needs urgent admin attention, please go to [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:18, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:: +1. Please do not ping multitudes of people at once, and please do not ''hide'' invisible pings so nobody can see what is going on. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 20:15, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Abuse Filter feedback ==

What are you thoughts on [[User talk:Koavf#Abuse Filter|my proposed additions to the Abuse Filter]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:44, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|Koavf|Ferien|Antandrus|UDScott}} Thoughts? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:21, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::I've edited the abuse filter before, but I'm not a whiz at it. Note that blocking edits outright based on some of these filters would certainly disrupt standard editing. I feel like this is probably not the best way to stop vandalism and would want to get more consensus from the community. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:28, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Which in particular concern you? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:40, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::I could easily see someone writing &quot;globally blocked&quot; and tripping an abuse filter tag or your username for that matter. Of course, some settings in the abuse filter will completely block an edit from happening and others will just log that it occurred, but either way is not desirable: stopping legitimate edits is bad and a log that is full of false positives is bad. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:42, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} In my request it says that &quot;globally blocked&quot; would only trip it if it was in that specific capitalization (all letters capitalized). – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:50, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::But also &quot;globally blocked lta&quot; (any capitalization) and &quot;et al&quot;? Those are totally valid words that could be used. Also, as I recall, the edit filter takes a toll for computing on the backend, so it's best to not have many edit filter entries. I could be wrong about that, tho. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:03, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Well it says that it is only applies non-auto confirmed, so not that big of a deal. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:24, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I could easily imagine a not auto-confirmed user writing &quot;et al&quot;. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:26, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|koavf}} {{done|Fixed}}&amp;nbsp; Any others remaining that you are still concerned about? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:29, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::thx/thanx would probably be it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:41, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{ping|koavf}} {{done|Fixed}}&amp;nbsp; Any more? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:52, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::I don't think so. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:02, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{ping|koavf}} So, do you support now? And can you add it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:05, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::This still needs consensus and I believe that the edit filter has a kind of high toll, so I'm still on the fence. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:07, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::{{ping|koavf}} High toll in terms of what? Also, (roughly) how many for votes for a consensus for something like this? 1? 2? 3? 5? 10? 100? The entire population of the United States?{{humor inline}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:09, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::Sorry that I was unclear: I've had a hard time sleeping. What I mean is that, in my recollection, the filter needs to do a lot of computing work, since it needs to review the contents of every edit in real time, so adding a lot of filter rules is advised against. I could be wrong, again, I'm not an edit filter whiz, but I have edited it a little on a couple of projects. Plus, as I called out before, there's a kind of human toll where you may end up with false positives or blocking edits that are valid and that takes manual oversight, so it's hard to know exactly what ruels will result in the most efficient use of time. As for how many are needed for consensus, I don't have a hard number in mind, but I would like to leave this open for a few weeks and I hope get a few others giving feedback, since I'm not terribly confident about my skills with the filter. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I'm failing to see the point in even adding that to the abuse filter now you have made it public. The reason the abuse filter is private is to make sure LTAs have a hard time trying to edit. Not simply noticing &quot;oh I can't say these words so let me change my behaviour/what I say&quot;. This LTA is always trying to get past the abuse filter and sometimes succeeds. There is a reason this abuse filter is rarely discussed on-wiki. Discussing abuse filters should not be on talk pages, let alone anywhere near the village pump. -[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:54, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass ==

:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi all,

Community members in the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] are invited to [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass|propose statements to use in the Election Compass.]]

An Election Compass is a tool to help voters select the candidates that best align with their beliefs and views. The community members will propose statements for the candidates to answer using a Lickert scale (agree/neutral/disagree). The candidates’ answers to the statements will be loaded into the Election Compass tool. Voters will use the tool by entering in their answer to the statements (agree/disagree/neutral). The results will show the candidates that best align with the voter’s beliefs and views.

Here is the timeline for the Election Compass:

July 8 - 20: Community members propose statements for the Election Compass

July 21 - 22: Elections Committee reviews statements for clarity and removes off-topic statements

July 23 - August 1: Volunteers vote on the statements

August 2 - 4: Elections Committee selects the top 15 statements

August 5 - 12: candidates align themselves with the statements

August 15: The Election Compass opens for voters to use to help guide their voting decision

The Elections Committee will select the top 15 statements at the beginning of August. The Elections Committee will oversee the process, supported by the Movement Strategy and Governance team. MSG will check that the questions are clear, there are no duplicates, no typos, and so on.

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 13:30, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

== Add template editor right ==

Some of the most used templates here are protected so only admins can edit, which is important for stopping vandalism, but, a lot of potential for fixes and improvements within these pages is also lost because of it. So, do you think that a separate template editor right should be added? (I'm not specifically talking about me, and by &quot;improvements&quot; I don't mean radical changes) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:30, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:I'm generally in favor of breaking off some of the admin user rights for individuals who have skills and motivation to do certain technical work (templates, interface admin) without doing things like blocking, protecting pages, deleting, etc. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:21, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:This seems like a good idea to me. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 02:54, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support''' – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support with caveat''' - Does this differ from 'interface editor' on other projects? [[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 14:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} What is 'interface editor'? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 14:47, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::: [[m:Interface_editors]][[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 15:26, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} Yes, very different, 'template editor' only includes the right to edit protected templates. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:28, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*I don't really consider myself much apart of the enwikiq community, but while I'm here just dropping a tech note. &quot;template editor&quot; currently would do nothing, for it to be useful the community would need to decide they want another protection level (normally more stringent than &quot;semiprotected&quot; and less stringent than &quot;protected&quot;); then administrators would need to actual configure this protection level on pages.  The community would need to determine how this new template editing access should be managed (normally it is &quot;by administrators&quot; technically, with varying local policy rules that you would determine), then add this group to editors that you want to be able to edit the pages that are protected at that level.  Most &quot;smaller&quot; (in terms of active editing communities) don't bother with this, the none/semi-protected/fully-protected scheme is sufficient. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:32, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Oppose'''. Per [[Special:ProtectedPages]] There are currently 84 fully protected templates and no fully protected modules on this wiki. I do not think it is a good use of time to set up a user group, assign it to people and pages, create policies about use/abuse/granting/revocation, update everything else that comes along with big changes in user rights (templates, scripts, policy, help pages, interface messages, etc) when this new protection level will probably be used on 30-40 pages and will be probably only be granted to 1 or 2 people, it just seems like a lot of extra bureaucracy for not much benefit. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:27, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::Noting here that only 12 projects have template editor rights enabled, and one of those is the testing wiki. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:50, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''Oppose''' Fundamentally tainted proposal given the proposer's propensity to propose new user groups seemingly for the sake of doing so rather than to fill any actual need. [[User:Pppery|Pppery]] ([[User talk:Pppery|talk]]) 03:10, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Pppery}} I have had many occasions where this right would be useful for me. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:13, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Pppery}} Please see [[w:WP:HYE|WP:HYE]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:21, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Is this really a valid reason to vote against something? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Any reason could be valid, but I don't think this is a very compelling reason for a no and were I closing this conversation, I don't know that I would count this as being very on-topic. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:46, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

== Add revision importer right ==

{{discussion-closed-top|Withdrawn and starting new vote}}
{{center|{{Ombox|image=&amp;nbsp;|text=&lt;h3&gt;Voting results as of July 17, 2022&lt;/h2&gt;{{Election results|alliance1=Support|aspan1=4|atotal4=3|apct1=50%|party1=Support|votes1=2|party2=Strong Support|votes2=0|party3=Weak Support|votes3=1|alliance5=Oppose|aspan5=4|atotal8=5|party5=Oppose|votes5=4|party6=Strong Oppose|votes6=0|party7=Weak Oppose|votes7=1|alliance9=Other|aspan9=4|atotal12=2|vatotal12=0|party9=Neutral|votes9=2|vatotal9=0|party10=Withdrawn/re-submitted/invalid|votes10=0|party11=Comment/question|votes11=0|color1=#20ff20|color2=#008e00|color3=#72ff72|color5=#ff0000|color6=#a80000|color7=#ff6868|color9=yellow|color10=black|color11=#efefef|valid=8|invalid=2}}}}}}

{{ping|koavf}} This is still in very early stages, but here is a proposal for a new user group containing the following rights:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt;
* The ability to self-revoke the right from yourself.
What do you think so far? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:27, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

=== Potential concerns ===

=== Comments ===

:It's not obvious to me why all of these are lumped together and it seems like straight up importer would work, if the community thought it was necessary or a bureaucrat/steward saw fit to give someone the right. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:22, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Well, I am posting this in hopes of getting it approved on phab. Also for the explanations:
::* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; Self-explanatory.
::* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; Self-explanatory.
::* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; Useful for advanced importing.
::* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; For merging older revisions into page that were not originally imported.
::* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; In case the rate limit triggers from sending too much data.
::* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Basic right.
::* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; If a page imported page needs to be moved without redirect.
::* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; Security reasons as with other user groups.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:34, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I'm fine with it. If you file a ticket at [[phab:]], they will want to see more consensus than this before changing the site preferences. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:33, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Thank you! I  needed to post this here to get consensus and to get feedback on possible improvements. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:34, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Also, do you think this right should be granted by stewards or bureaucrats? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:35, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I don't see why this should have to escalate all the way up to stewards. I think the only rights that should be like that are CheckUser and Oversight, but I know that I'm in the minority on that. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:43, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|koavf}} Wait, what rights other than those two require stewards? Also, I do agree with you. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:51, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::E.g. bureaucrats cannot remove any rights other than those that admins can and the bot flag. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 11:17, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support''' – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:12, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
:&lt;s&gt;'''Neutral''' - I don't know that this is really needed, but I'm not as familiar with the way things work here on Wikiquote. Maybe there's a need that isn't covered by the importers user group? Maybe that group should be modified to include these additional rights? I don't know, so I'm neutral on this proposal. [[User:Nihonjoe|Nihonjoe]] ([[User talk:Nihonjoe|talk]]) 22:15, 13 July 2022 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; Changed to oppose.
::'''Oppose''', for several reasons.
::#I think you're going out of your way to harass anyone who is voting against (or in my case, neutral about) your proposal. Your attempts to strike Ferien's vote (or any of the votes of others whose reasons you deem &quot;invalid&quot;) are especially disturbing. How about you let people have opinions that differ from yours, and leave it at that? 
::#The gigantic warning (added and continually made more obnoxious with each edit [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143520 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143522 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143526 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143527 here], and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143528 here] is completely unnecessary and only serves to make you look unhinged.
::#As others have pointed out, you don't seem to fully grasp how the various user rights work, and your proposal contains a lot of unnecessary rights bundled together apparently because you want all of the bundled rights and not because they serve any useful general purpose bundled together as proposed.
::#Going off the last point, you have repeatedly failed to express valid reasons how this would be useful to anyone other than yourself.
::For all these reasons (and probably a few others I forgot while typing this), I don't see any valid need for this new user group. [[User:Nihonjoe|Nihonjoe]] ([[User talk:Nihonjoe|talk]]) 08:34, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Seems okay'''; not really sure why it is needed, but I don't seen any compelling reason for not, so I guess that's a tentative support. Open to persuasion if I am missing something. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 02:53, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Antandrus}} Here is some more information/context:
::&lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; I regularly need to import a lot of templates (including revisions), so this would be nice.
::&lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; Useful for doing the above automatically, mass-importing pages from another wiki, or importing multiple levels deep.
::&lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; Useful for advanced importing.
::&lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; For merging older revisions into page that were not originally imported.
::&lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; If a page/template you are importing contains/is on the blacklist.
::&lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; In case you trigger the rate limit for creating too many pages.
::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Basic right. Also, similar to above.
::&lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; Deleting a page after it has been merged.
::&lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; Same as above.
::&lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; Security reasons as with other user groups.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:06, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Oppose''' Import is quite a dangerous tool. On Simple English Wikipedia we do have the importer right but it is rarely used or given out, mainly because you have to be really trusted to use it. Seeing as import could cause so much damage and that damage isn't really reversible without admin tools, you have to have a very large amount of trust in someone to give them import, and at that point if you can trust them so much to use import properly, why not give admin so they can clear up any mess they might make as well. While this is the general attitude on simplewiki, it applies to any WMF site. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:56, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Ferien}} Yes, it is a powerful tool, but why are you against this? If it is dangerous, we'll just be extra careful when giving out, like any other user right. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:01, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::It's a powerful tool and it's very difficult to reverse mistakes if you are not an admin. If you're not careful, you can import dozens of templates at once that may not be the ones you wanted to import, and you have to fix these pages or call an admin to delete these pages manually. I am also not voting against you as you seem to be implying below, import is already included in admin and so you are suggesting it should be given to non-admins, which I oppose for the reasons above. [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:44, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Ferien}} It already '''is''' given to non-admins on many other wikis. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:50, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, but not on Wikiquote. Just because many other wikis have done it wrong doesn't mean we should do it wrong too. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:10, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|Ferien}}
::::::{{Blockquote|Just because many other wikis have done it wrong}}
::::::I am not sure if this is humorous or not, but, if it isn't: 
::::::: This is a ridiculous comment, just because you don't agree doesn't make it &quot;wrong&quot;. Considering this has been done on dozens of wikis, it is probably a good choice for at-least some wikis. By making this comment, it makes your original vote look like it was made in bad faith.
::::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:23, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, they have done it wrong ''in my opinion''. Your opinion may be different but as I said, I think the same applies for most wikis and unless you are including delete in importer or importer is only added if you have a role like one on some wikis called eliminator which has delete tools and block tools, but not protection, abuse filter etc, I do not think importer on its own is appropriate. That does not make my !vote done in bad faith. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} If you don't think this should be done on ''any'' wiki, make a request on meta, rather than voting here. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:30, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} Since your vote is about generally being against the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; right for non-admins and not specifically about my request, may I please strike it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, not sure why you want to strike my vote, because that is exactly what your request is about. While it doesn't specify non-admins specifically or mention non-admins, that is exactly what you are asking for. Admins already have the import right. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:35, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I never said that importer being given on other wikis should be reversed. That wouldn't be done on meta anyway, it'd be done for individual communities as they decided to add it there. If other wikis feel that's what works for them, then that's fine. I am not really part of many other wikis' community. Only simplewiki, enwikiquote and to some extent metawiki and enwiki. However, what you were suggesting was that we should give non-admins importer on this wiki because it's done on other wikis, and as I disagree with the importer right being separate as a whole, I do not agree with that argument. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:33, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}}
::::::::::{{Blockquote|However, what you were suggesting was that we should give non-admins importer on this wiki because it's done on other wikis, and as I disagree with the importer right being separate as a whole, I do not agree with that argument.}}
::::::::::I am suggesting it should be done &quot;because it is done on other wikis&quot;, I was just pointing that out. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:38, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:03, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I have already read the message. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 08:52, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} Could explain exactly ''why'' you oppose '''''the creation''''' of this right? You have already explained that it is dangerous right, in your opinion, and should be restricted, but why do you not want it created? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:04, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Koavf}} What are your thoughts on this reply? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:17, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Whether we should have importers and who should be importers are two different things. Admins have all these rights and more, so I don't see the problem. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:17, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|ferien|koavf}} {{u|Koavf}}, just what I was thinking! This isn't an RfRI, this is a feature request. While I would like to have it, whether I get should be held in a vote for that, not if should exist at all. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|Koavf}} Can the vote be striken-off as invalid? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::So I assume you're talking about my vote? Is there any reason why it should be struck as invalid? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:40, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::No. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 10:46, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|Kalki}} Could you vote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:42, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:: I do not see any compelling need for creating such a user group, and do see that it could develop complications and problems that would have to be sorted out in often tedious ways. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 20:44, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I also '''oppose''' this - for many of the reasons already articulated above. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:29, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Kalki|UDScott}} Could you be more specific, so I could try to improve/re-submit this? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:08, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|UDScott}} Could you give me some recommendations on how to improve my proposal? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:08, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::It's not a matter of making tweaks to your proposal that will suddenly convince me - I just don't think this is something we want. I would rather see more users become admins if qualified, rather than adding more roles. I also worry about imports being done improperly and causing other issues. Bottom line is that I just don't see the value in doing this, regardless of how the proposal to do so is worded. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:57, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|UDScott}}
::::::{{Blockquote|I also worry about imports being done improperly and causing other issues.}}
::::::Well, I would assume if someone is given, they would know how to import properly. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:02, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::That's quite the logical fallacy you've got going there. Just because someone has garnered enough support to be granted a role in no way means that a process will be performed correctly. Everyone who has been in the admin role has at one time or another made an error - because of a misunderstanding, a lack of technical ability, or simply a mistake. The nomination and approval process that results in one gaining a role does not remove risk of issues. I just don't see the need for this role, especially given the risk involved (and the fact that if errors are made, it is a bit tedious to correct them). I do not support this proposal - I've explained this multiple times, even though I don't believe that I need to justify my lack of support. And a tip, especially as we are in active discussion: there's really no need to continually ping me every time you respond. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:12, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|UDScott}} As {{u|Koavf}} said, &quot;Whether we should have importers and who should be importers are two different things. Admins have all these rights and more, so I don't see the problem.&quot; Wouldn't that also apply to this vote?
::::::::{{Blockquote|And a tip, especially as we are in active discussion: there's really no need to continually ping me every time you respond.}}
::::::::That's usually how a one-to-one discussion works.
::::::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:20, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::I am applying it to this vote - to me the risk is too high for ''any''one to have it when I don't see the need for it. And no, pinging someone and just addressing them in the text of the conversation are two different things. Imagine if we were standing at a door having a discussion. You could easily say my name and make your point - or you could ring the doorbell every time before you speak. One is standard behavior and the other is a bit annoying - see the difference? IMHO, pinging should only be used when you have received no response and wish to gain someone's attention. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::What exactly ''are'' the risks to importing? I understand how it could be used maliciously (e.g. spamming, faking edits, etc.), but I don't see how it could be destructive when used in good faith. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:32, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::I believe Ferien outlined the issues very well above. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:34, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{ping|UDScott}} Well, there already are the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; user rights. I never said what the requirements would be or how strictly it would be given out, only the user rights it would contain and how it would work. Are you against the very idea of non-developers importing? And if so, wouldn't you the rights removed entirely? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:41, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Do you have any suggestions as to how I could improve this proposal? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::I do not. It seems like community consensus is tilting against it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:58, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} Currently the results are: 3 Support, 1 Neutral, 3 Oppose. So, even. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:07, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''oppose''' does not seem needed or useful, extremely sensitive rights --[[User:DannyS712|DannyS712]] ([[User talk:DannyS712|talk]]) 21:51, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|DannyS712}} Please explain further. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:30, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''neutral''' I was aksed to leave feedback, but I rarely edit Wikiquote, how often would this need to be used? [[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 14:54, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} Very often. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 14:56, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:According to [[Special:log/import]] since the software started logging imports in late 2007 the right has been used a grand total of 171 times, with 97 of those uses being the same person on the same day in 2019. The claim that this would be used &quot;very often&quot; appears to have no basis in the available facts. A breakdown of yearly usage stats for this right:
{{collapse|
:*2022 - 1 import
:*2021 - 16 imports
:*2020 - 2 imports
:*2019 - 98 imports
:*2018 - no imports
:*2017 - no imports
:*2016 - 1 import
:*2015 - no imports
:*2014 - no imports
:*2013 - no imports
:*2012 - no imports
:*2011 - 16 imports
:*2010 - no imports
:*2009 - no imports
:*2008 - 37 imports}}
:There are also some parts of this proposal that seem bizarre and poorly thought out to me - e.g. why are you including autoconfirmed in this group? Anyone with this right should already be autoconfirmed - this isn't something that should be given to newbies. History merging is quite possibly the most dangerous user right on the site, and should not be given to anyone except admins who have the technical ability to fix any messes it creates. In what situations is the &quot;delete-redirect&quot; right going to be useful - pages don't need to have the exact same name on all wikis, and if there's an existing template redirect in the way importing a new template over the top of it could cause a disaster. &quot;Supress redirect&quot; seems to be unrelated to the act of actually importing pages and seems to have been chucked in so you can history merge stuff? Wikiquote also already has the unused [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=import importer] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=transwiki transwiki importers] user groups, which seem to do exactly what you're already asking for.
:I don't know if wikiquote allows IP votes in policy decisions, but I would '''Oppose''' this proposal on the basis that the import functionality is so rarely used that the current workload can easily be handled by existing admins, this particular proposal seems to be poorly thought out and bundles a load of rights together that are, at best, tangentially related to importing pages, and that user groups to allow users to import pages already exist. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 20:09, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::# Autoconfirmed is a basic right.
::# How is history merging the most dangerous???
::# Delete-redirect is '''required''' for this to be done properly '''most''' of the time.
::::* Because it is needed if new revisions are added to the page that the revisions are being imported from.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:18, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::Also, '''please''' read the banner at the top. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:19, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|192.76.8.85}} Does this count as a vote or comment. (I am assuming a vote for the timebeing) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:25, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I don't know why you're directing me to read your idiotically large, obnoxious banner (made extra large and obnoxious in response to my comment!) and to ask you for technical explanations when your responses here are utter nonsense and demonstrate that you don't actually understand what you're proposing.
:::*''Autoconfirmed is a basic right.'' - yes, which is why it is utterly pointless to bundle it into an advanced user right supposed to be given to trusted members of the community.  Everyone who is granted the import right will already be autoconfirmed. There is no point giving them the right again, it makes as much sense as giving the &lt;code&gt;edit&lt;/code&gt; right to admins.
:::*''How is history merging the most dangerous???'' - because it can easily make an enormous mess and it has no &quot;undo&quot; functionality. If you accidentally merge together two pages with long co-existent history the only way to unmerge them is to delete the page then manually undelete individual revisions one at a time to separate the page histories out again. Fixing a history merge mistake can take literally hours. It is also completely unnecessary for importers to have this right because it is already built into the import function.
:::*''Delete-redirect is required for this to be done properly most of the time. Because it is needed if new revisions are added to the page that the revisions are being imported from.'' - this makes no sense at all, I actually cannot understand what you are trying to say here. The import function can directly add old revisions to an existing page, you just set the import location to the title of the extant page - you don't have to import pages to some other title then merge them together afterwards.
:::You can consider this to be a vote. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 20:50, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::* History merge '''is''' necessary for the follow reason:
::::** Let’s say that Person 1 ''manually'' imports Page 1 to Page 2, then Person 2 (who is an importer) wants to properly import the revisions, but in between these two events Person 3 has modified Page 1, this would cause the import to fail. So what the importer would do is:
::::**# Import the original page to Page 3.
::::**# Merge all revisions in Page 3 (before Person 1 copied Page 1 to Page 2) into Page 2.
::::**# Redirect Page 2 to Page 3.
::::**# Merge all revisions before the redirect in Page 2 into Page 3.
::::**# Use &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; to delete Page 2.
::::**# Use &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; to move Page 3 to Page 2.
::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:59, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::This doesn't make any kind of sense. You import the page with it's whole history, split the history via the history merge function (?), then combine the history back together, then delete the mess of pages you created? What you would end up with if you followed those instructions is page 3 with the entire edition history of persons 1 2 and 3 included?
:::::Again, this work flow is complete and utter nonsense. If you want to perform an import and merge revisions into existing page then you just have to tell the import tool to include history information, and the merge will be done for you. If you just want to import the revisions from before the history fork then make an XML dump of the revisions you want and import that. There is no need at all for this histmerge and redirect mess.
:::::Fundamentally though fixing history forking issues is not a job for page importers - it is a job for administrators who have access to the proper page deletion, undeletion and history toolbox. It makes no sense to give users some administrative tools to allow them to, via a unnecessarily convoluted methods, fix an issue that has never actually occurred to date. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:33, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I have this issue very often, that's why I proposed it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:36, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|Koavf}} Is history merge very dangerous? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:43, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::What &quot;issue&quot; are you actually having, because &quot;import revisions from another wiki and merge them into an existing page&quot; is functionality that the import tool already has - you don't need all the extra user rights to do it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::I meant merging within a wiki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:47, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::&quot;merging within a wiki&quot; is not a part of any sensible workflow for importing pages. User rights should be set up as groups of related rights that multiple people should find useful, that have similar access requirements, and generally the ability to do an action should be bundled with the ability to undo it. Creating a user group isn't an opportunity to put together a &quot;grab bag&quot; of rights that you personally think you would like. An &quot;importer&quot; right should just contain the stuff needed to import pages, i.e. &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt;. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:57, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::That why is called &quot;'''revision''' importer&quot; and not just &quot;importer&quot;. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:58, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::And what is the supposed difference between this &quot;revision importer&quot; and the regular &quot;importer&quot; right? You can already import revisions and add them to the history of pages using the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; rights. To me this looks like a combination of you not actually knowing what the import right does, a bunch of utterly bizarre suggestions (like the bundled autoconfirmed right) and you trying to make your own personal user group with just the stuff you want in it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 22:03, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::Maybe &quot;revision editor&quot; or &quot;revision manager&quot; would be a more accurate title? Also, this isn't just for me. If it was, it would also include many other rights (e.g. rollback, templateeditor). – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:06, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::We already have a user group that allows certain people to edit page histories, they're called &quot;administrators&quot;. I do not think a user group which allows editors to screw up page histories but does not include the tools to fix them is a good idea. ''this isn't just for me.'' seems to be in direct contradiction to your statement below that the big issue with the existing importer groups is that ''Neither of which fully covers my needs.'' which is it - a general &quot;importer&quot; group for everyone, or a user group specifically tailored to what you want to do. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:41, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::A revision editor would be for '''revisions''', not general administrative rights. Revisions editing includes imports. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:42, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::What is the difference between &quot;general administrative rights&quot; and &quot;revision&quot; rights. They are, as far as I can tell, the same thing. Pages on wikis are nothing but a string of revisions, how is messing around with revisions a distinct operation from messing around with pages? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:50, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::I didn’t say it ''was'' used very often, I said it ''would'' be used very often, '''if implemented'''. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:15, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*I got pinged here from enwiki: enwikiquote already has local admins which have transwiki access, and if there is a good reason this community needs xmlimports the &quot;importer&quot; group could also be added via the existing group process. xmlimport can be &quot;dangerous&quot; so I'd suggest that you not add it to anyone that wouldn't otherwise qualify as an interface admin here. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:25, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:{{ping|Xaosflux}} This would only be given to users who are '''at least''' as trustworthy as interface admins. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:29, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::{{ping|Xaosflux}} Also, could you ask me more questions, so you could come to a final decision? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:31, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::I don't really consider myself part of the enwikiquote community - the primary governance of permissions for this project belongs to them. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:36, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::{{ping|Xaosflux}} Please, very few regulars here actually vote in these. Outside feedback would be very helpful. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:38, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:wikiquote already has [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=import importer] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=transwiki transwiki importer] groups, but they're not currently used. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:35, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::Neither of which fully covers my needs. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:37, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
{{discussion-closed-bottom}}

== Reverse-protection cross-(wiki?) RfC (phab) ==

What is your opinion on [[phab:T312835|this]] feature request? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:45, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== QOTD emergency ==

{{:WQT:PAA|hide=false}} QOTD is missing! {{done}} by Kalki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:22, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
: I just posted it a couple minutes ago — it is certainly NOT any extraordinary emergency. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:25, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Kalki}} Was already marking as fixed while you were leaving your comment. In-fact a got an edit conflict message. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:27, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{redlink|Redlinks}} on the front page are a pretty big deal. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:07, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} Absolutely agreed. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:38, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, please stop pinging all administrators. If there is genuinely an emergency like this that needs an admin, please make your way to [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Notice about the revision importer proposal ==

Originally it was planned to be a discussion only for feedback and improvement, and not a vote since it was nowhere near done. But it accidentally turned into a vote, and as such, failed, as I could provide sufficient information about purpose or how it would work. I will be closing it shortly. I will start a new only for feedback and not voting, after I think it is sufficiently done, I will start a new vote. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:54, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Feedback on proposal for new user right ==

{{Notice box|text='''This is not a vote,''' this is simply a discussion related to improving and fixing potential issues with this proposal, users who oppose this may provide feedback on how to make it less unappealing to them, but if you are entirely against it and have no constructive feedback to offer, '''do not comment here.'''&lt;br&gt;&lt;big&gt;You may also ask questions here, '''regardless of what you think of the proposal.'''&lt;/big&gt;}}

This is a proposal for a 'revision importer' right, this would be primarily used for cross-wiki importing, though it will also be used for other purposes.

This is needed because a lot of pages and templates that exist on other wikis do not exist here. Also, this can also be used for importing lost pages from dead wikis. (e.g. simple English Wikiquote)

This right would be appointed by bureaucrats.

Here are the user rights it is planned to contain so far:

{{:User:Ilovemydoodle/proposal/usergroups/revision importer}}

Here are the reasons for each right:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; — Self-explanatory.
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; — Self-explanatory. Also helpful for mass-importing pages and in cases where revisions need to manually be modified.
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — This is needed if a template that has been imported, has been updated on another wiki.
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; — If an imported page is on the title blacklist.
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; — Potential rate limit issues. (this might not be neccessary)
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Similar to &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Same as &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; — Security reasons as with other rights.

=== Examples ===

Here are some examples where this right would preform better than regular importers or administrators.

==== 1 ====

Let’s say that Person 1 ''manually'' imports Page 1 to Page 2, then Person 2 (who is a revision importer) wants to properly import the revisions, but in between these two events, Person 3 has modified Page 1, this would mean that if it was imported traditionally it would either fail, or would appear to succeed, but all revisions in-between wouldn't be valid for this wiki. (e.g. if a template has to have all mentions of 'Wikipedia' changed to 'Wikiquote', this is pretty obvious, but you could imagine more subtle issues). Then, if someone didn't like certain changes that were made, and rolled-back to an earlier revision, the new versiom wouldn't be valid for this wiki. With this type of importing, the revision import could manually edit the revisions before importing, so all revision would be valid. This could be done via the following process: 

# Import the original page (from the other wiki) to Page 3.
# Merge all revisions in Page 3 (before Person 1 copied Page 1 to Page 2) into Page 2.
# Redirect Page 2 to Page 3.
# Merge all revisions before the redirect in Page 2 into Page 3.
# Use &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; to delete Page 2.
# Use &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; to move Page 3 to Page 2.

=== Comments ===

– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:07, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|AC9016|Nihonjoe|Antandrus|Koavf|Stang|ShakespeareFan00|Rubbish computer|Dave Braunschweig|Atcovi|Ottawahitech}} Thoughts? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:29, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

Why are you wasting everyone's time by repeating the exact same discussion as above which will lead to the exact same conclusion? This is an terrible idea for a user group - it is completely redundant to the existing &quot;import&quot; group, contains a load of disjointed and disconnected rights that have no business being bundled together and per the discussion above the proposer is unable to justify why this group should exist or what purpose it is supposed to serve. Going through the list of rights:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; — Not enabled anywhere for any user group, even stewards. Has the ability to crash medium to large wikis, so the devs are unlikely to approve enabling. The proposer doesn't appear to understand what this does, it has nothing to do with templates, it's intended for content pages, when you export a page with this setting enabled it also exports all linked pages, and all pages linked to those pages and so on until you hit the depth limit.
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, Import can already merge page histories, extremely dangerous and can easily make a huge mess, should remain restricted to administrators.
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded. Not a frequently occurring issue, if a title is deemed unsuitable by the blacklist it can just be imported to a different title, pages don't need to have the same name everywhere.
* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, no-one should be importing pages so quickly they hit the rate limit.
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded - everyone even being considered for import user rights should be autoconfirmed.
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, not related to importing pages, only included because the proposer apparently doesn't understand how importing pages works.
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, not related to importing pages, only included because the proposer apparently doesn't understand how importing pages works.
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
The &quot;proposed&quot; user rights are not possible to implement (the database doesn't track which revisions have been imported) would not get past wmf legal (you cannot view any kind of deleted content without passing an RFA or equivalent process) and duplicate existing admin functionality.

My opinion is that the proposer here does not understand what they are proposing, how user rights work, how importing work and has no idea what this user group is supposed to be used for. I am unimpressed that rather than answering the question &quot;what is this supposed to be used for and how is it different from importer/administrator rights&quot; they have decided to shut down the discussion above and start another one on exactly the same thing. I am even more unimpressed that they have left another &quot;notice&quot; telling people that unless they are coming here to tell them how amazing their idea is they are unwelcome to comment. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:54, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''This is not a vote,''' please read the header. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:55, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::Can you please point out where I voted? '''Please read my comment'''. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:56, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::&lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; — This might a problem, I will look into this. Thanks for the feedback.
:::&lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::&lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; Not frequent, but if you are importing a lot of pages, this could be an issue.
:::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Specific cases (e.g. second account, changing accounts, bots, etc.), also there is no harm to adding this right.
:::&lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::&lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:03, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::You haven't &quot;explained &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt;. You've posted a completely ridiculous workflow which would involve using them to do something the import right can already do.
::::Why would &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; be useful? What kinds of pages are you intending to import where the title would be so terrible it would hit an entry on the blacklist.
::::&lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; you clearly do not understand what this does, I'll give you a clue, it has nothing to do with the &quot;amount of data&quot; that you're sending to the server. Another clue, import actions aren't even rate limited.
::::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; why on earth would you include a user right that the person already has? It's a complete waste of time. If for some reason you need to import pages using a brand new alt account why couldn't you do the normal thing, and assign the user the &quot;confirmed&quot; user rights?
::::You still haven't answered the fundamental question - what is this right supposed to do that the &quot;import&quot; right can't already do, and why do you need all these extra user rights to re-implement functionality that already exists. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 02:16, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::How do you ''modify'' a revision with regular import? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:22, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::You can use the &quot;import from a file&quot; option and edit the XML before you upload it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:05, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::...which would require the removal and replacement of the existing revisions. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:09, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Why would you be replacing revisions with things that didn't actually exist? The whole point of the page history is to serve as the legally required record of who contributed what content to a page - there is no situation whatsoever where it would be appropriate to replace actual revisions with stuff you made up. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:12, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Please see example 1. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:13, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::example 1 is a completely ridiculous workflow that only demonstrates that you don't actually understand how anything works. Even so, at what stage of example 1 do you need to make up revisions that don't actually exist? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::Anywhere between 2 and 4. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:21, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:This user right would '''not''' allow a user to view deleted content. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:12, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::The &lt;code&gt;view-deleted-imported-revision&lt;/code&gt; would fall afoul of [[meta:Limits to configuration changes]], specifically ''Allow non-admins to view deleted stuff''. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 02:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::It would only allow the viewing of content deleted using this right, which would be stored separately to admin-deleted content. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Again, you don't appear to understand how anything actually works. Mediawiki doesn't store deleted revisions separately, they're in the main revision table but flagged as deleted. Non-admins are banned from viewing deleted content, it doesn't matter how it was deleted or what user right was involved. This is a hard limit by the WMF legal department and cannot be overturned via feature requests or consensus. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:08, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::There is a way of storing it separately. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:09, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Not in the current version of Mediawiki there isn't. Even suppressed material is stored in the main revision table with the &lt;code&gt;DELETED_RESTRICTED&lt;/code&gt; flag set. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::It would be stored in the main archive table, it would be differentiated using the unused field &lt;code&gt;ar_flags&lt;/code&gt; – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:20, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Do you think more should be addressed in this proposal? If so, what? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:50, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::No. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:37, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|Koavf}} Sorry, I just realized this now, I meant to say &quot;more questions addressed&quot;. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:53, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Not really. I just think this is your proposal. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:24, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Do you support it so far? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:25, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|koavf}} Also, what do you think the requirements to get this right should be? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:29, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Just asking for them and the community voting, just like with other rights. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:46, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I don't object, but I don't have strong feelings on it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:47, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

I'm not a frequent contributor to Wikiquote, but I was asked to comment. I don't see a problem with the overall proposal if it meets a community need. However, I would not include &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt;. There's almost no legitimate reason for a human being to trigger that limit. Save that right for bots. -- [[User:Dave Braunschweig|Dave Braunschweig]] ([[User talk:Dave Braunschweig|talk]]) 16:58, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:06, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
*First of all, you should not have started another discussion. It was going fine and people were still giving their opinions on it. In fact there was a point I wanted to respond to you on but couldn't because you closed the discussion. Secondly, seeing as 50% of people opposed, and only 30% supported, I'm just curious why you are still trying to push this idea and encouraging others to not oppose it despite quite a clear result voting-wise but also consensus-wise that the community doesn't want this. And I'm especially concerned about how you have closed another discussion and opened another one where apparently if you are entirely against the proposal, you are not allowed to comment. This makes it harder to find the community consensus that seemed to quite clearly be &quot;we don't want this.&quot; --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:42, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:The main issue provided was that there wasn’t any reason to do this (because I did not include one in the original vote), so I am trying to redo this in a better way. Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:44, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::You could have always edited the reason in the original discussion, and that would have had the benefit of not freezing the discussion for everyone else who participated... --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:50, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::Well, I am redoing the ''whole'' proposal, so most of those votes won't matter anymore. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:53, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::It seems like the proposal is very similar to the one you just suggested. Just because ''you'' don't think those &quot;votes&quot; don't matter anymore doesn't mean you should move to a completely different discussion on the exact same topic, with some bizarre restrictions on what I should comment and what I should not. I see no reason for you to have opened another discussion and am considering merging it so the community are more aware about what your plans are. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:46, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::::The original vote was poorly conceived, this is my second attempt, please don't associate this with the original. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:50, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::::Sorry but I see no reason to not associate this with the original proposal. Yes, there are a couple of changes based on feedback, however your proposal is essentially the same, but instead, you have decided to discourage people opposed to it from commenting. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 09:13, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
*Ok seeing as my opinion is clear at this point - that giving importer to non-admins is generally a bad idea - let's focus on the problems with this proposal. Autoconfirmed is unnecessary. It shouldn't affect rate limit, for autoconfirmed users. Merge history is not needed, although I'm unsure if this is included within importer - you can just import the page again, or update it manually for situations where it's updated on one wiki but not another - which is rare. tboverride - not sure when an imported page would ever be on the title blacklist? Overall, seems as though even more unnecessary admin-level tools are going into a right where not as much trust is necessary. If a person needs this many rights, why not get admin?? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:40, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== Sorry ==

For leaving feedback requests on far too many user pages, I have stopped, and will only ask users that are actually interested, and can help. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Movement Strategy and Governance News - Issue 7 ==

&lt;div style = &quot;line-height: 1.2&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:200%;&quot;&gt;'''Movement Strategy and Governance News'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:120%; color:#404040;&quot;&gt;'''Issue 7, July-September 2022'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:120%; float:right;&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7|'''Read the full newsletter''']]&lt;/span&gt; 
----
Welcome to the 7th issue of Movement Strategy and Governance News! The newsletter distributes relevant news and events about the implementation of Wikimedia's [[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy/Initiatives|Movement Strategy recommendations]], other relevant topics regarding Movement governance, as well as different projects and activities supported by the Movement Strategy and Governance (MSG) team of the Wikimedia Foundation.  

The MSG Newsletter is delivered quarterly, while the more frequent [[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy/Updates|Movement Strategy Weekly]] will be delivered weekly. Please remember to subscribe [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Global message delivery/Targets/MSG Newsletter Subscription|here]] if you would like to receive future issues of this newsletter.
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;margin-top:3px; padding:10px 10px 10px 20px; background:#fffff; border:2px solid #808080; border-radius:4px; font-size:100%;&quot;&gt; 

* '''Movement sustainability''': Wikimedia Foundation's annual sustainability report has been published. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A1&lt;/tvar&gt;|continue reading]])
* '''Improving user experience''': recent improvements on the desktop interface for Wikimedia projects. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A2|continue reading]])
* '''Safety and inclusion''': updates on the revision process of the Universal Code of Conduct Enforcement Guidelines. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A3|continue reading]])
* '''Equity in decisionmaking''': reports from Hubs pilots conversations, recent progress from the Movement Charter Drafting Committee, and a new white paper for futures of participation in the Wikimedia movement. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A4|continue reading]])
* '''Stakeholders coordination''': launch of a helpdesk for Affiliates and volunteer communities working on content partnership. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A5|continue reading]])
* '''Leadership development''': updates on leadership projects by Wikimedia movement organizers in Brazil and Cape Verde. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A6|continue reading]])
* '''Internal knowledge management''': launch of a new portal for technical documentation and community resources. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A7|continue reading]])
* '''Innovate in free knowledge''': high-quality audiovisual resources for scientific experiments and a new toolkit to record oral transcripts. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A8|continue reading]])
* '''Evaluate, iterate, and adapt''': results from the Equity Landscape project pilot ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A9|continue reading]])
*
'''Other news and updates''': a new forum to discuss Movement Strategy implementation, upcoming Wikimedia Foundation Board of Trustees election, a new podcast to discuss Movement Strategy, and change of personnel for the Foundation's Movement Strategy and Governance team. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A10|continue reading]])

&lt;/div&gt;&lt;section end=&quot;msg-newsletter&quot;/&gt;

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 22:59, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Announcing the six candidates for the Board of Trustees election ==

:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election/Short|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election/Short}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi everyone,

The Affiliate Representatives have completed their voting period. The selected 2022 Board of Trustees candidates are:

* Tobechukwu Precious Friday ([[:m:User:Tochiprecious|Tochiprecious]])
* Farah Jack Mustaklem ([[:m:User:Fjmustak|Fjmustak]])
* Shani Evenstein Sigalov ([[:m:User:Esh77|Esh77]])
* Kunal Mehta ([[:m:User:Legoktm|Legoktm]])
* Michał Buczyński ([[:m:User:Aegis Maelstrom|Aegis Maelstrom]])
* Mike Peel ([[:m:User:Mike Peel|Mike Peel]])

You may see more information about the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Results|Results]] and [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Stats|Statistics]] of this Board election.

The Affiliate organizations selected representatives to vote on behalf of the Affiliate organization. The Affiliate Representatives proposed questions for the candidates to answer in mid-June. These answers from candidates and the information provided from the Analysis Committee provided support for the representatives as they made their decision.

Please take a moment to appreciate the Affiliate Representatives and Analysis Committee members for taking part in this process and helping to grow the Board of Trustees in capacity and diversity. These hours of volunteer work connect us across understanding and perspective. Thank you for your participation.

Thank you to the community members who put themselves forward as candidates for the Board of Trustees. Considering joining the Board of Trustees is no small decision. The time and dedication candidates have shown to this point speaks to their commitment to this movement. Congratulations to those candidates who have been selected. A great amount of appreciation and gratitude for those candidates not selected. Please continue to share your leadership with Wikimedia.

What can voters do now?

[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Results|Review the results of the Affiliate selection process]].

[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election|Read more here about the next steps in the 2022 Board of Trustee election]].

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''&lt;/translate&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;section end=&quot;announcement-content&quot; /&gt;

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 19:35, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== Let's talk about the Desktop Improvements ==

[[File:Vector 2022 showing language menu with a blue menu trigger and blue menu items 01.jpg|thumb]]
Join an online meeting with the team working on the [[mw:Reading/Web/Desktop Improvements|Desktop Improvements]]! It will take place on '''26 July 2022 at [https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?iso=20220726T1200 12:00 UTC] and [https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?iso=20220726T1900 19:00 UTC]''' on Zoom. '''[https://wikimedia.zoom.us/j/5304280674 Click here to join]'''. Meeting ID: 5304280674. [https://wikimedia.zoom.us/u/kc2hamfYz9 Dial by your location].

[[mw:Special:MyLanguage/Reading/Web/Desktop Improvements/Updates/Talk to Web|Read more]]. See you! [[User:SGrabarczuk (WMF)|SGrabarczuk (WMF)]] ([[User talk:SGrabarczuk (WMF)|talk]]) 16:19, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:SGrabarczuk (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:SGrabarczuk_(WMF)/sandbox/MM/En_fallback&amp;oldid=23430301 --&gt;

== Vote for Election Compass Statements ==

:''[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements|You can find this message translated into additional languages on Meta-wiki.]]''
:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi all,

Volunteers in the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] are invited to [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass/Statements|vote for statements to use in the Election Compass]]. You can vote for the statements you would like to see included in the Election Compass on Meta-wiki.

An Election Compass is a tool to help voters select the candidates that best align with their beliefs and views. The community members will propose statements for the candidates to answer using a Lickert scale (agree/neutral/disagree). The candidates’ answers to the statements will be loaded into the Election Compass tool. Voters will use the tool by entering in their answer to the statements (agree/disagree/neutral). The results will show the candidates that best align with the voter’s beliefs and views.

Here is the timeline for the Election Compass:

*&lt;s&gt;July 8 - 20: Volunteers propose statements for the Election Compass&lt;/s&gt;
*&lt;s&gt;July 21 - 22: Elections Committee reviews statements for clarity and removes off-topic statements&lt;/s&gt;
*July 23 - August 3: Volunteers vote on the statements
*August 4: Elections Committee selects the top 15 statements
*August 5 - 12: candidates align themselves with the statements
*August 16: The Election Compass opens for voters to use to help guide their voting decision

The Elections Committee will select the top 15 statements at the beginning of August


Best, 

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 17:20, 26 July 2022 (UTC)

== Names for cleanup categories ==

Hello,

I'm going to start localising a load of imported clean-up templates over the next few weeks, and I wanted some feedback from the community on what terminology to use for the associated categories. Some of these clean-up templates sort main space pages into categories of the form &quot;Articles needing foo&quot;, some of them sort them into categories of the form &quot;Wikiquote pages needing foo&quot; (and some templates have been half-localised and sort them into both!). What is the preferred terminology for these kind of pages? &quot;Article&quot; or &quot;Wikiquote pages&quot;? Just thought I'd get some feedback before editing dozens of templates and making dozens of categories. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:18, 28 July 2022 (UTC)

:Content in the main namespace can be &quot;articles&quot; for sure, especially if that makes it easier. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:04, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:Koavf|Koavf]] Thanks, that's really helpful. I'll make a start localising and cleaning up these templates so they don't sort pages into nonsense like [[:Category:Wikipedia external links cleanup]].
::There's one other template I'd like some feedback on, {{tl|cleanup}}. This template seems to have been hijacked and now does a completley different function to when it was a wikiquote specific one; it used to be for articles that didn't fit into any of the specific cleanup categories, now it's a generic &quot;tag everything&quot; type template. As it stands this template has been copied from the English Wikipedia and has a lot of complexity and features that don't make sense here. As I see it there are a few ways we could move forward with this template:
::# Roll it back to the old, wikiquote specific version
::# Try to localise the current template properly (I'm not keen on this, it is way too complex and has way too much subcategorization for a project of this size).
::# Try to simplify the new template to produce something that works well on this project.
::# Remake the template in the new style, but replicating the functionality of the old clean-up template as much as possible.
::There are also a couple of features of the new style template that I'd like to get some feedback on whether they're actually useful here, to start:
::# The new template asks you to submit a reason when tagging a page for cleanup, is this required on this project and is populating [[:Creating Category:Cleanup tagged articles without a reason field]] useful?
::# Is categorising pages by namespace useful? e.g. sorting pages into &quot;Wikiquote categories needing cleanup&quot;, &quot;Wikiquote templates needing cleanup&quot;, &quot;Wikiquote Articles needing cleanup&quot; etc? My gut feeling is no, given that there are less than 100 pages tagged in total.
::As you might be able to tell I'm a bit lost when it comes to figuring out what to do with {{tl|cleanup}}. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:43, 30 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I don't think that this project is big or active enough to need to be sorted by namespace with cleanup templates. If you think it's best to revert back to how this template functioned back in April, then I support that. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:56, 31 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Thanks, I'll give it a few days to see if anyone else has any comments, if not I'll revert back to the old version of the template. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 16:43, 1 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::Reverted back to the old version since no objections were raised. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 15:14, 6 August 2022 (UTC)

== Decorative quotation templates ==

What is the community's opinion on decorative quotation templates like [[Template:Blockquote]]? The [[Wikiquote:Manual of style|manual of style]] and [[Wikiquote:Guide to layout|guide to layout]] says that articles should be composed of plain bulleted lists, but these templates have been added to a few places, e.g. [[Jill Biden]]. Should they be removed, or should the manual of style be updated to allow them? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 15:46, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
:I am not a fan. I see it as a similar discussion regarding the bolding of quotes. To me the different ways of presenting quotes is a bit jarring and there does nto seem to be any criteria used for which quotes use this alternate style. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 16:26, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
* It's useful on other projects. But it's a little like having a specially formatted box on Wikipedia for prose. Uh...prose is kindof the main point of the project. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 16:39, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
*I am also not a fan - I'd prefer as little markup as possible in our pages, since I think markup is off-putting for newbies. Text only is good. I personally tend to be a minimalist on such stuff. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 18:46, 3 August 2022 (UTC)

== If you love somebody, let them go ==

&quot;If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.&quot;&lt;br style=&quot;margin-bottom:0.5em&quot;/&gt;Seems attributed to [[Kahlil Gibran]] by random image search results. A similar variant &quot;If you love something, let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever.&quot; is attributed to [[w:en:Douglas Horton]] by [http://www.quotehd.com/quotes/douglas-horton-clergyman-if-you-love-something-let-it-go-free-if-it-doesnt-come-back another random image search result]. Is either of these correct? If not, perhaps the misattribution could be mentioned on [[Kahlil Gibran]]? &lt;span id=&quot;Alexis_Jazz:1659594815083:WikiquoteBWLCLNVillage_pump&quot; class=&quot;BawlCmt&quot;&gt;[[User:Alexis Jazz|Alexis Jazz]] ([[User talk:Alexis Jazz|talk]]) 06:33, 4 August 2022 (UTC)&lt;/span&gt;

== Any tutorials?  ==

Hi Wikiquote friends, I'm TheAafi, and I mostly contribute on English Wikipedia. I happen to be founder of [[:m:Deoband Community Wikimedia|Deoband Community Wikimedia]], a recognized Wikimedia user group affiliate. I recently organized a series of events to bring attention of DCW volunteers to Wikiquote (see: [[:m:Deoband Community Wikimedia/Events/Wikiquote Delhi August 2022|this page for details]]). Is there any training material already available that I could utilize for this purpose. If not, DCW would be like to aid in this necessary endeavor. Regards, ─ [[User:TheAafi|&lt;span style=&quot;color:SteelBlue&quot;&gt;The Aafī&lt;/span&gt;]] &lt;sup&gt;[[User talk:TheAafi|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#80A0FF&quot;&gt;&lt;sup&gt;(talk)&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/sup&gt; 13:14, 11 August 2022 (UTC)

== Delay of the 2022 Wikimedia Foundation Board of Trustees election ==

Hi all,

I am reaching out to you today with an update about the timing of the voting for the Board of Trustees election.

As many of you are already aware, this year we are offering an [[metawiki:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass|Election Compass]] to help voters identify the alignment of candidates on some key topics. Several candidates requested an extension of the character limitation on their responses expanding on their positions, and the Elections Committee felt their reasoning was consistent with the goals of a fair and equitable election process.

To ensure that the longer statements can be translated in time for the election, the Elections Committee and Board Selection Task Force decided to delay the opening of the Board of Trustees election by one week - a time proposed as ideal by staff working to support the election.

Although it is not expected that everyone will want to use the Election Compass to inform their voting decision, the Elections Committee felt it was more appropriate to open the voting period with essential translations for community members across languages to use if they wish to make this important decision.

The voting will open on August 23 at 00:00 UTC and close on September 6 at 23:59 UTC.

Please find this message translated in additional languages [[m:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Delay of Board of Trustees election|here]].

Best regards,

On behalf of the Elections Committee

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 09:23, 16 August 2022 (UTC)

== Invitation to join Movement Strategy Forum ==

Hello everyone,

The [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/ Movement Strategy Forum] (MS Forum) is a multilingual collaborative space for all conversations about Movement Strategy implementation. It provides a great opportunity to share your Movement Strategy(MS) work, find collaborators, and get even more support and ideas for your MS projects. We are inviting all Movement participants to collaborate on the MS Forum. The goal of the forum is to build community collaboration using an inclusive multilingual platform. 

The [[metawiki:Movement Strategy|Movement Strategy]] is a collaborative effort to imagine and build the future of the Wikimedia Movement. Anyone can contribute to the Movement Strategy, from a comment to a full-time project. 

Join this forum with your Wikimedia account, say hi [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/t/say-hello/79 here] and go ahead and join or start a conversation on the recommendation you are most passionate about! Feel free to discuss your MS project ideas and plans or even reports from MS projects you have worked on.  To get started, you can also watch [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/t/a-walk-through-the-movement-strategy-forum/1431 this video].

The Movement Strategy and Governance team (MSG) launched the proposal for this MS Forum in May. After a 2-month review period, we have just published the [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/t/ms-forum-community-review-report/1436 Community Review Report]. It includes a summary of the discussions, metrics, and information about the next steps.

We look forward to seeing you at the MS Forum! 

Best regards,

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 09:40, 19 August 2022 (UTC)

== The 2022 Board of Trustees Election Community Voting period is now open  ==

:''[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/The 2022 Board of Trustees election Community Voting period is now open|You can find this message translated into additional languages on Meta-wiki.]]''
:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/The 2022 Board of Trustees election Community Voting period is now open|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/The 2022 Board of Trustees election Community Voting period is now open}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi everyone,

The Community Voting period for the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] is now open. Here are some helpful links to get you the information you need to vote:

*  Try the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass|Election Compass]], showing how candidates stand on 15 different topics.
* [[m:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Campaign Videos|Watch the candidate videos]] or read the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Candidates|candidate statements]] and [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Affiliate_Organization_Participation/Candidate_Questions|answers to Affiliate questions]]
* [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Apply to be a Candidate|Learn more about the skills the Board seeks]] and how the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Candidates|Analysis Committee found candidates align with those skills]]

If you are ready to vote, you may go to [[Special:SecurePoll/vote/Wikimedia_Foundation_Board_Elections_2022|SecurePoll voting page]] to vote now. '''You may vote from August 23 at 00:00 UTC to September 6 at 23:59 UTC.''' To see about your voter eligibility, please visit the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Voter_eligibility_guidelines|voter eligibility page]].

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 21:12, 23 August 2022 (UTC)

== RevDel policy ==

Revision deletion has been used 278 times this year and 86 times across the whole of 2021... so, it's clear revision deletion on this wiki is becoming more used and fast. I think it's only right with increasing RevDel use to have a RevDel policy. While admins have RevDel reasons they can give when deleting a revision from public view, some are broad. These options are the following:
*Copyright violation
*Inappropriate comment
*Inappropriate username
*Potentially libelous information
*Personal information

A few personal comments about this:
#Inappropriate comment specifically is extremely broad. What does an inappropriate comment mean? Would calling someone stupid be eligible under this option? Or would the comment have to be more disruptive? Note that revision deletion was not created to deal with &quot;ordinary&quot; incivility.
#Potentially libelous information and Personal information should ''not'' be openly dealt with by admins, to avoid the [[Streisand effect]], and should instead be dealt with by oversighters. We currently do not have any local oversighters, so we contact stewards privately if oversight is needed here. These two options shouldn't be part of a RevDel policy, in my opinion.
#Regardless of policy, options that should be used for oversight should be separated from common delete options to avoid extra attention.

I have a few ideas for future RevDel options, and if there's a consensus for them, these should be noted down on a Wikiquote: page as a policy, potentially as an addition to [[Wikiquote:Deletion policy]] or by creating [[Wikiquote:Revision deletion policy]], also depending on the community's preference. These options can be changed on [[MediaWiki:Revdelete-reason-dropdown]].

I would appreciate anyone's opinions for these ideas, that are inspired by enwiki's [[w:Wikipedia:Revision deletion|revision deletion policy]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

=== RD1: Blatant violations of the copyright policy ===
This would be fairly basic, a replacement to our current option &quot;Copyright violation&quot;. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
==== Comments ====
* {{support}} Sensible and it helps keep this a free culture community. While very unlikely, it also shields us from legal risk. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:49, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

=== RD2: Grossly insulting, degrading, or offensive material ===
A diff that has little to no project value whatsoever - for example, slurs, smears and grossly inappropriate material that has no project value, but not &quot;ordinary&quot; incivility, personal attacks or conduct accusations. If a page has a grossly improper title, the page title can be deleted in the creation and deletion logs too. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

==== Comments ====
* {{support}} Per [[:w:en:WP:DENY]]. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:53, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

=== RD3: Purely disruptive material ===
Purely disruptive material that does not help the project at all - for example, harassment, grossly inappropriate threats or attacks, malicious HTML or CSS, shock pages, phishing or virus pages, or web pages that disparage or threaten someone and serve no valid purpose. Spam links are not covered under this policy. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

==== Comments ====

=== Other RevDel ideas? ===
Any other ideas for a RevDel policy can be put as another section with ===, above this one. Thanks for your input and help. -- [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>8ri8o7cgko3mm2jdzx8w1mx7qotw7xp</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158636</id>
      <parentid>3158635</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T17:54:03Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Koavf</username>
        <id>6765</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Comments */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="107541" xml:space="preserve">__NEWSECTIONLINK__
{{Wikiquote:Village pump/Header}}

== Help needed ==

Originally when GRP create the ED page I forgot about it, now he's doing it again, could someone help get it deleted? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:51, 1 July 2022 (UTC)

:The harder you try, the more likely it is to remain, and the more people will want to look at it. It's like that old fable of trying to catch your breath by running after it.
:My advice: let it go. Let it go. Let - it - go. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 17:40, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Antandrus}} {{done}} will do that, thanks for the advice. Also, I got a message from them as well, [https://encyclopediadramatica.online/User:MarioMario456/talk3 here]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:34, 2 July 2022 (UTC)

== Results of Wiki Loves Folklore 2022 is out! ==

&lt;div lang=&quot;en&quot; dir=&quot;ltr&quot; class=&quot;mw-content-ltr&quot;&gt;
{{int:please-translate}}
[[File:Wiki Loves Folklore Logo.svg|right|150px|frameless]]

Hi, Greetings

The winners for '''[[c:Commons:Wiki Loves Folklore 2022|Wiki Loves Folklore 2022]]''' is announced!

We are happy to share with you winning images for this year's edition. This year saw over 8,584 images represented on commons in over 92 countries. Kindly see images '''[[:c:Commons:Wiki Loves Folklore 2022/Winners|here]]'''

Our profound gratitude to all the people who participated and organized local contests and photo walks for this project.

We hope to have you contribute to the campaign next year.

'''Thank you,'''

'''Wiki Loves Folklore International Team'''

--[[User:MediaWiki message delivery|MediaWiki message delivery]] ([[User talk:MediaWiki message delivery|talk]]) 16:12, 4 July 2022 (UTC)

&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Tiven2240@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Distribution_list/Non-Technical_Village_Pumps_distribution_list&amp;oldid=23454230 --&gt;

== QOTD ==

&lt;span style=&quot;position: absolute; {{#ifeq:{{{hide}}}|false||{{#ifeq:{{{hide}}}|no||visibility: hidden;}}}}&quot;&gt;@[[User:Aphaia]] @[[User:BD2412]] @[[User:DannyS712]] @[[User:Ferien]] @[[User:GreenMeansGo]] @[[User:Illegitimate Barrister]] @[[User:Jusjih]] @[[User:Kalki]] @[[User:Koavf]] @[[User:Mdd]] @[[User:Miszatomic]] @[[User:Ningauble]] @[[User:Pmlineditor]] @[[User:UDScott]] @[[User:Ilovemydoodle]]&lt;/span&gt; The Main Page is missing a QOTD! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:30, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

:Nice find. I made a redirect for the time being. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:32, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Wow! That was fast. Also, surprised that managed to slip through. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:47, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Also, did you get pinged? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:48, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::did and got an email in my inbox. Thanks! —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:49, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|koavf}} Why did you get an email? (I didn't send one) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:02, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::[[Special:Preferences#mw-prefsection-watchlist]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:26, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|Koavf}} Huh? I don't see an email option there. Also, could you please deal with the massive backlog over at [[WQ:VIP]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:36, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::My bad: [[Special:Preferences#mw-prefsection-echo]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:40, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:Could you not ping all the admins in your message? This left me rather confused as there was no visible ping and I wasn't involved. If something needs urgent admin attention, please go to [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:18, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:: +1. Please do not ping multitudes of people at once, and please do not ''hide'' invisible pings so nobody can see what is going on. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 20:15, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Abuse Filter feedback ==

What are you thoughts on [[User talk:Koavf#Abuse Filter|my proposed additions to the Abuse Filter]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:44, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|Koavf|Ferien|Antandrus|UDScott}} Thoughts? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:21, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::I've edited the abuse filter before, but I'm not a whiz at it. Note that blocking edits outright based on some of these filters would certainly disrupt standard editing. I feel like this is probably not the best way to stop vandalism and would want to get more consensus from the community. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:28, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Which in particular concern you? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:40, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::I could easily see someone writing &quot;globally blocked&quot; and tripping an abuse filter tag or your username for that matter. Of course, some settings in the abuse filter will completely block an edit from happening and others will just log that it occurred, but either way is not desirable: stopping legitimate edits is bad and a log that is full of false positives is bad. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:42, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} In my request it says that &quot;globally blocked&quot; would only trip it if it was in that specific capitalization (all letters capitalized). – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:50, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::But also &quot;globally blocked lta&quot; (any capitalization) and &quot;et al&quot;? Those are totally valid words that could be used. Also, as I recall, the edit filter takes a toll for computing on the backend, so it's best to not have many edit filter entries. I could be wrong about that, tho. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:03, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Well it says that it is only applies non-auto confirmed, so not that big of a deal. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:24, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I could easily imagine a not auto-confirmed user writing &quot;et al&quot;. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:26, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|koavf}} {{done|Fixed}}&amp;nbsp; Any others remaining that you are still concerned about? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:29, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::thx/thanx would probably be it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:41, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{ping|koavf}} {{done|Fixed}}&amp;nbsp; Any more? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:52, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::I don't think so. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:02, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{ping|koavf}} So, do you support now? And can you add it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:05, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::This still needs consensus and I believe that the edit filter has a kind of high toll, so I'm still on the fence. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:07, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::{{ping|koavf}} High toll in terms of what? Also, (roughly) how many for votes for a consensus for something like this? 1? 2? 3? 5? 10? 100? The entire population of the United States?{{humor inline}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:09, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::Sorry that I was unclear: I've had a hard time sleeping. What I mean is that, in my recollection, the filter needs to do a lot of computing work, since it needs to review the contents of every edit in real time, so adding a lot of filter rules is advised against. I could be wrong, again, I'm not an edit filter whiz, but I have edited it a little on a couple of projects. Plus, as I called out before, there's a kind of human toll where you may end up with false positives or blocking edits that are valid and that takes manual oversight, so it's hard to know exactly what ruels will result in the most efficient use of time. As for how many are needed for consensus, I don't have a hard number in mind, but I would like to leave this open for a few weeks and I hope get a few others giving feedback, since I'm not terribly confident about my skills with the filter. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I'm failing to see the point in even adding that to the abuse filter now you have made it public. The reason the abuse filter is private is to make sure LTAs have a hard time trying to edit. Not simply noticing &quot;oh I can't say these words so let me change my behaviour/what I say&quot;. This LTA is always trying to get past the abuse filter and sometimes succeeds. There is a reason this abuse filter is rarely discussed on-wiki. Discussing abuse filters should not be on talk pages, let alone anywhere near the village pump. -[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:54, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass ==

:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi all,

Community members in the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] are invited to [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass|propose statements to use in the Election Compass.]]

An Election Compass is a tool to help voters select the candidates that best align with their beliefs and views. The community members will propose statements for the candidates to answer using a Lickert scale (agree/neutral/disagree). The candidates’ answers to the statements will be loaded into the Election Compass tool. Voters will use the tool by entering in their answer to the statements (agree/disagree/neutral). The results will show the candidates that best align with the voter’s beliefs and views.

Here is the timeline for the Election Compass:

July 8 - 20: Community members propose statements for the Election Compass

July 21 - 22: Elections Committee reviews statements for clarity and removes off-topic statements

July 23 - August 1: Volunteers vote on the statements

August 2 - 4: Elections Committee selects the top 15 statements

August 5 - 12: candidates align themselves with the statements

August 15: The Election Compass opens for voters to use to help guide their voting decision

The Elections Committee will select the top 15 statements at the beginning of August. The Elections Committee will oversee the process, supported by the Movement Strategy and Governance team. MSG will check that the questions are clear, there are no duplicates, no typos, and so on.

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 13:30, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

== Add template editor right ==

Some of the most used templates here are protected so only admins can edit, which is important for stopping vandalism, but, a lot of potential for fixes and improvements within these pages is also lost because of it. So, do you think that a separate template editor right should be added? (I'm not specifically talking about me, and by &quot;improvements&quot; I don't mean radical changes) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:30, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:I'm generally in favor of breaking off some of the admin user rights for individuals who have skills and motivation to do certain technical work (templates, interface admin) without doing things like blocking, protecting pages, deleting, etc. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:21, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:This seems like a good idea to me. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 02:54, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support''' – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support with caveat''' - Does this differ from 'interface editor' on other projects? [[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 14:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} What is 'interface editor'? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 14:47, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::: [[m:Interface_editors]][[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 15:26, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} Yes, very different, 'template editor' only includes the right to edit protected templates. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:28, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*I don't really consider myself much apart of the enwikiq community, but while I'm here just dropping a tech note. &quot;template editor&quot; currently would do nothing, for it to be useful the community would need to decide they want another protection level (normally more stringent than &quot;semiprotected&quot; and less stringent than &quot;protected&quot;); then administrators would need to actual configure this protection level on pages.  The community would need to determine how this new template editing access should be managed (normally it is &quot;by administrators&quot; technically, with varying local policy rules that you would determine), then add this group to editors that you want to be able to edit the pages that are protected at that level.  Most &quot;smaller&quot; (in terms of active editing communities) don't bother with this, the none/semi-protected/fully-protected scheme is sufficient. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:32, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Oppose'''. Per [[Special:ProtectedPages]] There are currently 84 fully protected templates and no fully protected modules on this wiki. I do not think it is a good use of time to set up a user group, assign it to people and pages, create policies about use/abuse/granting/revocation, update everything else that comes along with big changes in user rights (templates, scripts, policy, help pages, interface messages, etc) when this new protection level will probably be used on 30-40 pages and will be probably only be granted to 1 or 2 people, it just seems like a lot of extra bureaucracy for not much benefit. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:27, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::Noting here that only 12 projects have template editor rights enabled, and one of those is the testing wiki. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:50, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''Oppose''' Fundamentally tainted proposal given the proposer's propensity to propose new user groups seemingly for the sake of doing so rather than to fill any actual need. [[User:Pppery|Pppery]] ([[User talk:Pppery|talk]]) 03:10, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Pppery}} I have had many occasions where this right would be useful for me. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:13, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Pppery}} Please see [[w:WP:HYE|WP:HYE]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:21, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Is this really a valid reason to vote against something? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Any reason could be valid, but I don't think this is a very compelling reason for a no and were I closing this conversation, I don't know that I would count this as being very on-topic. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:46, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

== Add revision importer right ==

{{discussion-closed-top|Withdrawn and starting new vote}}
{{center|{{Ombox|image=&amp;nbsp;|text=&lt;h3&gt;Voting results as of July 17, 2022&lt;/h2&gt;{{Election results|alliance1=Support|aspan1=4|atotal4=3|apct1=50%|party1=Support|votes1=2|party2=Strong Support|votes2=0|party3=Weak Support|votes3=1|alliance5=Oppose|aspan5=4|atotal8=5|party5=Oppose|votes5=4|party6=Strong Oppose|votes6=0|party7=Weak Oppose|votes7=1|alliance9=Other|aspan9=4|atotal12=2|vatotal12=0|party9=Neutral|votes9=2|vatotal9=0|party10=Withdrawn/re-submitted/invalid|votes10=0|party11=Comment/question|votes11=0|color1=#20ff20|color2=#008e00|color3=#72ff72|color5=#ff0000|color6=#a80000|color7=#ff6868|color9=yellow|color10=black|color11=#efefef|valid=8|invalid=2}}}}}}

{{ping|koavf}} This is still in very early stages, but here is a proposal for a new user group containing the following rights:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt;
* The ability to self-revoke the right from yourself.
What do you think so far? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:27, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

=== Potential concerns ===

=== Comments ===

:It's not obvious to me why all of these are lumped together and it seems like straight up importer would work, if the community thought it was necessary or a bureaucrat/steward saw fit to give someone the right. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:22, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Well, I am posting this in hopes of getting it approved on phab. Also for the explanations:
::* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; Self-explanatory.
::* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; Self-explanatory.
::* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; Useful for advanced importing.
::* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; For merging older revisions into page that were not originally imported.
::* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; In case the rate limit triggers from sending too much data.
::* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Basic right.
::* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; If a page imported page needs to be moved without redirect.
::* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; Security reasons as with other user groups.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:34, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I'm fine with it. If you file a ticket at [[phab:]], they will want to see more consensus than this before changing the site preferences. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:33, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Thank you! I  needed to post this here to get consensus and to get feedback on possible improvements. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:34, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Also, do you think this right should be granted by stewards or bureaucrats? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:35, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I don't see why this should have to escalate all the way up to stewards. I think the only rights that should be like that are CheckUser and Oversight, but I know that I'm in the minority on that. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:43, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|koavf}} Wait, what rights other than those two require stewards? Also, I do agree with you. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:51, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::E.g. bureaucrats cannot remove any rights other than those that admins can and the bot flag. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 11:17, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support''' – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:12, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
:&lt;s&gt;'''Neutral''' - I don't know that this is really needed, but I'm not as familiar with the way things work here on Wikiquote. Maybe there's a need that isn't covered by the importers user group? Maybe that group should be modified to include these additional rights? I don't know, so I'm neutral on this proposal. [[User:Nihonjoe|Nihonjoe]] ([[User talk:Nihonjoe|talk]]) 22:15, 13 July 2022 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; Changed to oppose.
::'''Oppose''', for several reasons.
::#I think you're going out of your way to harass anyone who is voting against (or in my case, neutral about) your proposal. Your attempts to strike Ferien's vote (or any of the votes of others whose reasons you deem &quot;invalid&quot;) are especially disturbing. How about you let people have opinions that differ from yours, and leave it at that? 
::#The gigantic warning (added and continually made more obnoxious with each edit [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143520 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143522 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143526 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143527 here], and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143528 here] is completely unnecessary and only serves to make you look unhinged.
::#As others have pointed out, you don't seem to fully grasp how the various user rights work, and your proposal contains a lot of unnecessary rights bundled together apparently because you want all of the bundled rights and not because they serve any useful general purpose bundled together as proposed.
::#Going off the last point, you have repeatedly failed to express valid reasons how this would be useful to anyone other than yourself.
::For all these reasons (and probably a few others I forgot while typing this), I don't see any valid need for this new user group. [[User:Nihonjoe|Nihonjoe]] ([[User talk:Nihonjoe|talk]]) 08:34, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Seems okay'''; not really sure why it is needed, but I don't seen any compelling reason for not, so I guess that's a tentative support. Open to persuasion if I am missing something. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 02:53, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Antandrus}} Here is some more information/context:
::&lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; I regularly need to import a lot of templates (including revisions), so this would be nice.
::&lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; Useful for doing the above automatically, mass-importing pages from another wiki, or importing multiple levels deep.
::&lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; Useful for advanced importing.
::&lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; For merging older revisions into page that were not originally imported.
::&lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; If a page/template you are importing contains/is on the blacklist.
::&lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; In case you trigger the rate limit for creating too many pages.
::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Basic right. Also, similar to above.
::&lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; Deleting a page after it has been merged.
::&lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; Same as above.
::&lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; Security reasons as with other user groups.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:06, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Oppose''' Import is quite a dangerous tool. On Simple English Wikipedia we do have the importer right but it is rarely used or given out, mainly because you have to be really trusted to use it. Seeing as import could cause so much damage and that damage isn't really reversible without admin tools, you have to have a very large amount of trust in someone to give them import, and at that point if you can trust them so much to use import properly, why not give admin so they can clear up any mess they might make as well. While this is the general attitude on simplewiki, it applies to any WMF site. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:56, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Ferien}} Yes, it is a powerful tool, but why are you against this? If it is dangerous, we'll just be extra careful when giving out, like any other user right. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:01, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::It's a powerful tool and it's very difficult to reverse mistakes if you are not an admin. If you're not careful, you can import dozens of templates at once that may not be the ones you wanted to import, and you have to fix these pages or call an admin to delete these pages manually. I am also not voting against you as you seem to be implying below, import is already included in admin and so you are suggesting it should be given to non-admins, which I oppose for the reasons above. [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:44, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Ferien}} It already '''is''' given to non-admins on many other wikis. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:50, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, but not on Wikiquote. Just because many other wikis have done it wrong doesn't mean we should do it wrong too. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:10, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|Ferien}}
::::::{{Blockquote|Just because many other wikis have done it wrong}}
::::::I am not sure if this is humorous or not, but, if it isn't: 
::::::: This is a ridiculous comment, just because you don't agree doesn't make it &quot;wrong&quot;. Considering this has been done on dozens of wikis, it is probably a good choice for at-least some wikis. By making this comment, it makes your original vote look like it was made in bad faith.
::::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:23, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, they have done it wrong ''in my opinion''. Your opinion may be different but as I said, I think the same applies for most wikis and unless you are including delete in importer or importer is only added if you have a role like one on some wikis called eliminator which has delete tools and block tools, but not protection, abuse filter etc, I do not think importer on its own is appropriate. That does not make my !vote done in bad faith. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} If you don't think this should be done on ''any'' wiki, make a request on meta, rather than voting here. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:30, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} Since your vote is about generally being against the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; right for non-admins and not specifically about my request, may I please strike it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, not sure why you want to strike my vote, because that is exactly what your request is about. While it doesn't specify non-admins specifically or mention non-admins, that is exactly what you are asking for. Admins already have the import right. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:35, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I never said that importer being given on other wikis should be reversed. That wouldn't be done on meta anyway, it'd be done for individual communities as they decided to add it there. If other wikis feel that's what works for them, then that's fine. I am not really part of many other wikis' community. Only simplewiki, enwikiquote and to some extent metawiki and enwiki. However, what you were suggesting was that we should give non-admins importer on this wiki because it's done on other wikis, and as I disagree with the importer right being separate as a whole, I do not agree with that argument. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:33, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}}
::::::::::{{Blockquote|However, what you were suggesting was that we should give non-admins importer on this wiki because it's done on other wikis, and as I disagree with the importer right being separate as a whole, I do not agree with that argument.}}
::::::::::I am suggesting it should be done &quot;because it is done on other wikis&quot;, I was just pointing that out. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:38, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:03, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I have already read the message. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 08:52, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} Could explain exactly ''why'' you oppose '''''the creation''''' of this right? You have already explained that it is dangerous right, in your opinion, and should be restricted, but why do you not want it created? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:04, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Koavf}} What are your thoughts on this reply? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:17, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Whether we should have importers and who should be importers are two different things. Admins have all these rights and more, so I don't see the problem. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:17, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|ferien|koavf}} {{u|Koavf}}, just what I was thinking! This isn't an RfRI, this is a feature request. While I would like to have it, whether I get should be held in a vote for that, not if should exist at all. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|Koavf}} Can the vote be striken-off as invalid? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::So I assume you're talking about my vote? Is there any reason why it should be struck as invalid? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:40, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::No. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 10:46, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|Kalki}} Could you vote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:42, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:: I do not see any compelling need for creating such a user group, and do see that it could develop complications and problems that would have to be sorted out in often tedious ways. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 20:44, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I also '''oppose''' this - for many of the reasons already articulated above. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:29, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Kalki|UDScott}} Could you be more specific, so I could try to improve/re-submit this? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:08, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|UDScott}} Could you give me some recommendations on how to improve my proposal? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:08, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::It's not a matter of making tweaks to your proposal that will suddenly convince me - I just don't think this is something we want. I would rather see more users become admins if qualified, rather than adding more roles. I also worry about imports being done improperly and causing other issues. Bottom line is that I just don't see the value in doing this, regardless of how the proposal to do so is worded. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:57, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|UDScott}}
::::::{{Blockquote|I also worry about imports being done improperly and causing other issues.}}
::::::Well, I would assume if someone is given, they would know how to import properly. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:02, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::That's quite the logical fallacy you've got going there. Just because someone has garnered enough support to be granted a role in no way means that a process will be performed correctly. Everyone who has been in the admin role has at one time or another made an error - because of a misunderstanding, a lack of technical ability, or simply a mistake. The nomination and approval process that results in one gaining a role does not remove risk of issues. I just don't see the need for this role, especially given the risk involved (and the fact that if errors are made, it is a bit tedious to correct them). I do not support this proposal - I've explained this multiple times, even though I don't believe that I need to justify my lack of support. And a tip, especially as we are in active discussion: there's really no need to continually ping me every time you respond. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:12, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|UDScott}} As {{u|Koavf}} said, &quot;Whether we should have importers and who should be importers are two different things. Admins have all these rights and more, so I don't see the problem.&quot; Wouldn't that also apply to this vote?
::::::::{{Blockquote|And a tip, especially as we are in active discussion: there's really no need to continually ping me every time you respond.}}
::::::::That's usually how a one-to-one discussion works.
::::::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:20, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::I am applying it to this vote - to me the risk is too high for ''any''one to have it when I don't see the need for it. And no, pinging someone and just addressing them in the text of the conversation are two different things. Imagine if we were standing at a door having a discussion. You could easily say my name and make your point - or you could ring the doorbell every time before you speak. One is standard behavior and the other is a bit annoying - see the difference? IMHO, pinging should only be used when you have received no response and wish to gain someone's attention. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::What exactly ''are'' the risks to importing? I understand how it could be used maliciously (e.g. spamming, faking edits, etc.), but I don't see how it could be destructive when used in good faith. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:32, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::I believe Ferien outlined the issues very well above. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:34, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{ping|UDScott}} Well, there already are the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; user rights. I never said what the requirements would be or how strictly it would be given out, only the user rights it would contain and how it would work. Are you against the very idea of non-developers importing? And if so, wouldn't you the rights removed entirely? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:41, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Do you have any suggestions as to how I could improve this proposal? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::I do not. It seems like community consensus is tilting against it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:58, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} Currently the results are: 3 Support, 1 Neutral, 3 Oppose. So, even. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:07, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''oppose''' does not seem needed or useful, extremely sensitive rights --[[User:DannyS712|DannyS712]] ([[User talk:DannyS712|talk]]) 21:51, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|DannyS712}} Please explain further. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:30, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''neutral''' I was aksed to leave feedback, but I rarely edit Wikiquote, how often would this need to be used? [[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 14:54, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} Very often. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 14:56, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:According to [[Special:log/import]] since the software started logging imports in late 2007 the right has been used a grand total of 171 times, with 97 of those uses being the same person on the same day in 2019. The claim that this would be used &quot;very often&quot; appears to have no basis in the available facts. A breakdown of yearly usage stats for this right:
{{collapse|
:*2022 - 1 import
:*2021 - 16 imports
:*2020 - 2 imports
:*2019 - 98 imports
:*2018 - no imports
:*2017 - no imports
:*2016 - 1 import
:*2015 - no imports
:*2014 - no imports
:*2013 - no imports
:*2012 - no imports
:*2011 - 16 imports
:*2010 - no imports
:*2009 - no imports
:*2008 - 37 imports}}
:There are also some parts of this proposal that seem bizarre and poorly thought out to me - e.g. why are you including autoconfirmed in this group? Anyone with this right should already be autoconfirmed - this isn't something that should be given to newbies. History merging is quite possibly the most dangerous user right on the site, and should not be given to anyone except admins who have the technical ability to fix any messes it creates. In what situations is the &quot;delete-redirect&quot; right going to be useful - pages don't need to have the exact same name on all wikis, and if there's an existing template redirect in the way importing a new template over the top of it could cause a disaster. &quot;Supress redirect&quot; seems to be unrelated to the act of actually importing pages and seems to have been chucked in so you can history merge stuff? Wikiquote also already has the unused [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=import importer] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=transwiki transwiki importers] user groups, which seem to do exactly what you're already asking for.
:I don't know if wikiquote allows IP votes in policy decisions, but I would '''Oppose''' this proposal on the basis that the import functionality is so rarely used that the current workload can easily be handled by existing admins, this particular proposal seems to be poorly thought out and bundles a load of rights together that are, at best, tangentially related to importing pages, and that user groups to allow users to import pages already exist. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 20:09, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::# Autoconfirmed is a basic right.
::# How is history merging the most dangerous???
::# Delete-redirect is '''required''' for this to be done properly '''most''' of the time.
::::* Because it is needed if new revisions are added to the page that the revisions are being imported from.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:18, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::Also, '''please''' read the banner at the top. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:19, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|192.76.8.85}} Does this count as a vote or comment. (I am assuming a vote for the timebeing) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:25, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I don't know why you're directing me to read your idiotically large, obnoxious banner (made extra large and obnoxious in response to my comment!) and to ask you for technical explanations when your responses here are utter nonsense and demonstrate that you don't actually understand what you're proposing.
:::*''Autoconfirmed is a basic right.'' - yes, which is why it is utterly pointless to bundle it into an advanced user right supposed to be given to trusted members of the community.  Everyone who is granted the import right will already be autoconfirmed. There is no point giving them the right again, it makes as much sense as giving the &lt;code&gt;edit&lt;/code&gt; right to admins.
:::*''How is history merging the most dangerous???'' - because it can easily make an enormous mess and it has no &quot;undo&quot; functionality. If you accidentally merge together two pages with long co-existent history the only way to unmerge them is to delete the page then manually undelete individual revisions one at a time to separate the page histories out again. Fixing a history merge mistake can take literally hours. It is also completely unnecessary for importers to have this right because it is already built into the import function.
:::*''Delete-redirect is required for this to be done properly most of the time. Because it is needed if new revisions are added to the page that the revisions are being imported from.'' - this makes no sense at all, I actually cannot understand what you are trying to say here. The import function can directly add old revisions to an existing page, you just set the import location to the title of the extant page - you don't have to import pages to some other title then merge them together afterwards.
:::You can consider this to be a vote. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 20:50, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::* History merge '''is''' necessary for the follow reason:
::::** Let’s say that Person 1 ''manually'' imports Page 1 to Page 2, then Person 2 (who is an importer) wants to properly import the revisions, but in between these two events Person 3 has modified Page 1, this would cause the import to fail. So what the importer would do is:
::::**# Import the original page to Page 3.
::::**# Merge all revisions in Page 3 (before Person 1 copied Page 1 to Page 2) into Page 2.
::::**# Redirect Page 2 to Page 3.
::::**# Merge all revisions before the redirect in Page 2 into Page 3.
::::**# Use &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; to delete Page 2.
::::**# Use &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; to move Page 3 to Page 2.
::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:59, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::This doesn't make any kind of sense. You import the page with it's whole history, split the history via the history merge function (?), then combine the history back together, then delete the mess of pages you created? What you would end up with if you followed those instructions is page 3 with the entire edition history of persons 1 2 and 3 included?
:::::Again, this work flow is complete and utter nonsense. If you want to perform an import and merge revisions into existing page then you just have to tell the import tool to include history information, and the merge will be done for you. If you just want to import the revisions from before the history fork then make an XML dump of the revisions you want and import that. There is no need at all for this histmerge and redirect mess.
:::::Fundamentally though fixing history forking issues is not a job for page importers - it is a job for administrators who have access to the proper page deletion, undeletion and history toolbox. It makes no sense to give users some administrative tools to allow them to, via a unnecessarily convoluted methods, fix an issue that has never actually occurred to date. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:33, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I have this issue very often, that's why I proposed it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:36, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|Koavf}} Is history merge very dangerous? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:43, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::What &quot;issue&quot; are you actually having, because &quot;import revisions from another wiki and merge them into an existing page&quot; is functionality that the import tool already has - you don't need all the extra user rights to do it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::I meant merging within a wiki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:47, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::&quot;merging within a wiki&quot; is not a part of any sensible workflow for importing pages. User rights should be set up as groups of related rights that multiple people should find useful, that have similar access requirements, and generally the ability to do an action should be bundled with the ability to undo it. Creating a user group isn't an opportunity to put together a &quot;grab bag&quot; of rights that you personally think you would like. An &quot;importer&quot; right should just contain the stuff needed to import pages, i.e. &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt;. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:57, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::That why is called &quot;'''revision''' importer&quot; and not just &quot;importer&quot;. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:58, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::And what is the supposed difference between this &quot;revision importer&quot; and the regular &quot;importer&quot; right? You can already import revisions and add them to the history of pages using the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; rights. To me this looks like a combination of you not actually knowing what the import right does, a bunch of utterly bizarre suggestions (like the bundled autoconfirmed right) and you trying to make your own personal user group with just the stuff you want in it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 22:03, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::Maybe &quot;revision editor&quot; or &quot;revision manager&quot; would be a more accurate title? Also, this isn't just for me. If it was, it would also include many other rights (e.g. rollback, templateeditor). – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:06, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::We already have a user group that allows certain people to edit page histories, they're called &quot;administrators&quot;. I do not think a user group which allows editors to screw up page histories but does not include the tools to fix them is a good idea. ''this isn't just for me.'' seems to be in direct contradiction to your statement below that the big issue with the existing importer groups is that ''Neither of which fully covers my needs.'' which is it - a general &quot;importer&quot; group for everyone, or a user group specifically tailored to what you want to do. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:41, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::A revision editor would be for '''revisions''', not general administrative rights. Revisions editing includes imports. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:42, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::What is the difference between &quot;general administrative rights&quot; and &quot;revision&quot; rights. They are, as far as I can tell, the same thing. Pages on wikis are nothing but a string of revisions, how is messing around with revisions a distinct operation from messing around with pages? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:50, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::I didn’t say it ''was'' used very often, I said it ''would'' be used very often, '''if implemented'''. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:15, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*I got pinged here from enwiki: enwikiquote already has local admins which have transwiki access, and if there is a good reason this community needs xmlimports the &quot;importer&quot; group could also be added via the existing group process. xmlimport can be &quot;dangerous&quot; so I'd suggest that you not add it to anyone that wouldn't otherwise qualify as an interface admin here. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:25, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:{{ping|Xaosflux}} This would only be given to users who are '''at least''' as trustworthy as interface admins. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:29, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::{{ping|Xaosflux}} Also, could you ask me more questions, so you could come to a final decision? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:31, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::I don't really consider myself part of the enwikiquote community - the primary governance of permissions for this project belongs to them. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:36, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::{{ping|Xaosflux}} Please, very few regulars here actually vote in these. Outside feedback would be very helpful. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:38, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:wikiquote already has [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=import importer] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=transwiki transwiki importer] groups, but they're not currently used. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:35, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::Neither of which fully covers my needs. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:37, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
{{discussion-closed-bottom}}

== Reverse-protection cross-(wiki?) RfC (phab) ==

What is your opinion on [[phab:T312835|this]] feature request? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:45, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== QOTD emergency ==

{{:WQT:PAA|hide=false}} QOTD is missing! {{done}} by Kalki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:22, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
: I just posted it a couple minutes ago — it is certainly NOT any extraordinary emergency. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:25, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Kalki}} Was already marking as fixed while you were leaving your comment. In-fact a got an edit conflict message. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:27, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{redlink|Redlinks}} on the front page are a pretty big deal. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:07, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} Absolutely agreed. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:38, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, please stop pinging all administrators. If there is genuinely an emergency like this that needs an admin, please make your way to [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Notice about the revision importer proposal ==

Originally it was planned to be a discussion only for feedback and improvement, and not a vote since it was nowhere near done. But it accidentally turned into a vote, and as such, failed, as I could provide sufficient information about purpose or how it would work. I will be closing it shortly. I will start a new only for feedback and not voting, after I think it is sufficiently done, I will start a new vote. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:54, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Feedback on proposal for new user right ==

{{Notice box|text='''This is not a vote,''' this is simply a discussion related to improving and fixing potential issues with this proposal, users who oppose this may provide feedback on how to make it less unappealing to them, but if you are entirely against it and have no constructive feedback to offer, '''do not comment here.'''&lt;br&gt;&lt;big&gt;You may also ask questions here, '''regardless of what you think of the proposal.'''&lt;/big&gt;}}

This is a proposal for a 'revision importer' right, this would be primarily used for cross-wiki importing, though it will also be used for other purposes.

This is needed because a lot of pages and templates that exist on other wikis do not exist here. Also, this can also be used for importing lost pages from dead wikis. (e.g. simple English Wikiquote)

This right would be appointed by bureaucrats.

Here are the user rights it is planned to contain so far:

{{:User:Ilovemydoodle/proposal/usergroups/revision importer}}

Here are the reasons for each right:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; — Self-explanatory.
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; — Self-explanatory. Also helpful for mass-importing pages and in cases where revisions need to manually be modified.
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — This is needed if a template that has been imported, has been updated on another wiki.
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; — If an imported page is on the title blacklist.
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; — Potential rate limit issues. (this might not be neccessary)
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Similar to &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Same as &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; — Security reasons as with other rights.

=== Examples ===

Here are some examples where this right would preform better than regular importers or administrators.

==== 1 ====

Let’s say that Person 1 ''manually'' imports Page 1 to Page 2, then Person 2 (who is a revision importer) wants to properly import the revisions, but in between these two events, Person 3 has modified Page 1, this would mean that if it was imported traditionally it would either fail, or would appear to succeed, but all revisions in-between wouldn't be valid for this wiki. (e.g. if a template has to have all mentions of 'Wikipedia' changed to 'Wikiquote', this is pretty obvious, but you could imagine more subtle issues). Then, if someone didn't like certain changes that were made, and rolled-back to an earlier revision, the new versiom wouldn't be valid for this wiki. With this type of importing, the revision import could manually edit the revisions before importing, so all revision would be valid. This could be done via the following process: 

# Import the original page (from the other wiki) to Page 3.
# Merge all revisions in Page 3 (before Person 1 copied Page 1 to Page 2) into Page 2.
# Redirect Page 2 to Page 3.
# Merge all revisions before the redirect in Page 2 into Page 3.
# Use &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; to delete Page 2.
# Use &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; to move Page 3 to Page 2.

=== Comments ===

– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:07, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|AC9016|Nihonjoe|Antandrus|Koavf|Stang|ShakespeareFan00|Rubbish computer|Dave Braunschweig|Atcovi|Ottawahitech}} Thoughts? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:29, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

Why are you wasting everyone's time by repeating the exact same discussion as above which will lead to the exact same conclusion? This is an terrible idea for a user group - it is completely redundant to the existing &quot;import&quot; group, contains a load of disjointed and disconnected rights that have no business being bundled together and per the discussion above the proposer is unable to justify why this group should exist or what purpose it is supposed to serve. Going through the list of rights:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; — Not enabled anywhere for any user group, even stewards. Has the ability to crash medium to large wikis, so the devs are unlikely to approve enabling. The proposer doesn't appear to understand what this does, it has nothing to do with templates, it's intended for content pages, when you export a page with this setting enabled it also exports all linked pages, and all pages linked to those pages and so on until you hit the depth limit.
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, Import can already merge page histories, extremely dangerous and can easily make a huge mess, should remain restricted to administrators.
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded. Not a frequently occurring issue, if a title is deemed unsuitable by the blacklist it can just be imported to a different title, pages don't need to have the same name everywhere.
* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, no-one should be importing pages so quickly they hit the rate limit.
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded - everyone even being considered for import user rights should be autoconfirmed.
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, not related to importing pages, only included because the proposer apparently doesn't understand how importing pages works.
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, not related to importing pages, only included because the proposer apparently doesn't understand how importing pages works.
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
The &quot;proposed&quot; user rights are not possible to implement (the database doesn't track which revisions have been imported) would not get past wmf legal (you cannot view any kind of deleted content without passing an RFA or equivalent process) and duplicate existing admin functionality.

My opinion is that the proposer here does not understand what they are proposing, how user rights work, how importing work and has no idea what this user group is supposed to be used for. I am unimpressed that rather than answering the question &quot;what is this supposed to be used for and how is it different from importer/administrator rights&quot; they have decided to shut down the discussion above and start another one on exactly the same thing. I am even more unimpressed that they have left another &quot;notice&quot; telling people that unless they are coming here to tell them how amazing their idea is they are unwelcome to comment. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:54, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''This is not a vote,''' please read the header. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:55, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::Can you please point out where I voted? '''Please read my comment'''. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:56, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::&lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; — This might a problem, I will look into this. Thanks for the feedback.
:::&lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::&lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; Not frequent, but if you are importing a lot of pages, this could be an issue.
:::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Specific cases (e.g. second account, changing accounts, bots, etc.), also there is no harm to adding this right.
:::&lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::&lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:03, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::You haven't &quot;explained &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt;. You've posted a completely ridiculous workflow which would involve using them to do something the import right can already do.
::::Why would &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; be useful? What kinds of pages are you intending to import where the title would be so terrible it would hit an entry on the blacklist.
::::&lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; you clearly do not understand what this does, I'll give you a clue, it has nothing to do with the &quot;amount of data&quot; that you're sending to the server. Another clue, import actions aren't even rate limited.
::::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; why on earth would you include a user right that the person already has? It's a complete waste of time. If for some reason you need to import pages using a brand new alt account why couldn't you do the normal thing, and assign the user the &quot;confirmed&quot; user rights?
::::You still haven't answered the fundamental question - what is this right supposed to do that the &quot;import&quot; right can't already do, and why do you need all these extra user rights to re-implement functionality that already exists. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 02:16, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::How do you ''modify'' a revision with regular import? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:22, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::You can use the &quot;import from a file&quot; option and edit the XML before you upload it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:05, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::...which would require the removal and replacement of the existing revisions. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:09, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Why would you be replacing revisions with things that didn't actually exist? The whole point of the page history is to serve as the legally required record of who contributed what content to a page - there is no situation whatsoever where it would be appropriate to replace actual revisions with stuff you made up. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:12, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Please see example 1. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:13, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::example 1 is a completely ridiculous workflow that only demonstrates that you don't actually understand how anything works. Even so, at what stage of example 1 do you need to make up revisions that don't actually exist? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::Anywhere between 2 and 4. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:21, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:This user right would '''not''' allow a user to view deleted content. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:12, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::The &lt;code&gt;view-deleted-imported-revision&lt;/code&gt; would fall afoul of [[meta:Limits to configuration changes]], specifically ''Allow non-admins to view deleted stuff''. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 02:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::It would only allow the viewing of content deleted using this right, which would be stored separately to admin-deleted content. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Again, you don't appear to understand how anything actually works. Mediawiki doesn't store deleted revisions separately, they're in the main revision table but flagged as deleted. Non-admins are banned from viewing deleted content, it doesn't matter how it was deleted or what user right was involved. This is a hard limit by the WMF legal department and cannot be overturned via feature requests or consensus. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:08, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::There is a way of storing it separately. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:09, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Not in the current version of Mediawiki there isn't. Even suppressed material is stored in the main revision table with the &lt;code&gt;DELETED_RESTRICTED&lt;/code&gt; flag set. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::It would be stored in the main archive table, it would be differentiated using the unused field &lt;code&gt;ar_flags&lt;/code&gt; – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:20, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Do you think more should be addressed in this proposal? If so, what? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:50, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::No. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:37, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|Koavf}} Sorry, I just realized this now, I meant to say &quot;more questions addressed&quot;. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:53, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Not really. I just think this is your proposal. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:24, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Do you support it so far? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:25, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|koavf}} Also, what do you think the requirements to get this right should be? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:29, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Just asking for them and the community voting, just like with other rights. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:46, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I don't object, but I don't have strong feelings on it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:47, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

I'm not a frequent contributor to Wikiquote, but I was asked to comment. I don't see a problem with the overall proposal if it meets a community need. However, I would not include &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt;. There's almost no legitimate reason for a human being to trigger that limit. Save that right for bots. -- [[User:Dave Braunschweig|Dave Braunschweig]] ([[User talk:Dave Braunschweig|talk]]) 16:58, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:06, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
*First of all, you should not have started another discussion. It was going fine and people were still giving their opinions on it. In fact there was a point I wanted to respond to you on but couldn't because you closed the discussion. Secondly, seeing as 50% of people opposed, and only 30% supported, I'm just curious why you are still trying to push this idea and encouraging others to not oppose it despite quite a clear result voting-wise but also consensus-wise that the community doesn't want this. And I'm especially concerned about how you have closed another discussion and opened another one where apparently if you are entirely against the proposal, you are not allowed to comment. This makes it harder to find the community consensus that seemed to quite clearly be &quot;we don't want this.&quot; --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:42, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:The main issue provided was that there wasn’t any reason to do this (because I did not include one in the original vote), so I am trying to redo this in a better way. Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:44, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::You could have always edited the reason in the original discussion, and that would have had the benefit of not freezing the discussion for everyone else who participated... --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:50, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::Well, I am redoing the ''whole'' proposal, so most of those votes won't matter anymore. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:53, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::It seems like the proposal is very similar to the one you just suggested. Just because ''you'' don't think those &quot;votes&quot; don't matter anymore doesn't mean you should move to a completely different discussion on the exact same topic, with some bizarre restrictions on what I should comment and what I should not. I see no reason for you to have opened another discussion and am considering merging it so the community are more aware about what your plans are. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:46, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::::The original vote was poorly conceived, this is my second attempt, please don't associate this with the original. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:50, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::::Sorry but I see no reason to not associate this with the original proposal. Yes, there are a couple of changes based on feedback, however your proposal is essentially the same, but instead, you have decided to discourage people opposed to it from commenting. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 09:13, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
*Ok seeing as my opinion is clear at this point - that giving importer to non-admins is generally a bad idea - let's focus on the problems with this proposal. Autoconfirmed is unnecessary. It shouldn't affect rate limit, for autoconfirmed users. Merge history is not needed, although I'm unsure if this is included within importer - you can just import the page again, or update it manually for situations where it's updated on one wiki but not another - which is rare. tboverride - not sure when an imported page would ever be on the title blacklist? Overall, seems as though even more unnecessary admin-level tools are going into a right where not as much trust is necessary. If a person needs this many rights, why not get admin?? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:40, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== Sorry ==

For leaving feedback requests on far too many user pages, I have stopped, and will only ask users that are actually interested, and can help. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Movement Strategy and Governance News - Issue 7 ==

&lt;div style = &quot;line-height: 1.2&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:200%;&quot;&gt;'''Movement Strategy and Governance News'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:120%; color:#404040;&quot;&gt;'''Issue 7, July-September 2022'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:120%; float:right;&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7|'''Read the full newsletter''']]&lt;/span&gt; 
----
Welcome to the 7th issue of Movement Strategy and Governance News! The newsletter distributes relevant news and events about the implementation of Wikimedia's [[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy/Initiatives|Movement Strategy recommendations]], other relevant topics regarding Movement governance, as well as different projects and activities supported by the Movement Strategy and Governance (MSG) team of the Wikimedia Foundation.  

The MSG Newsletter is delivered quarterly, while the more frequent [[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy/Updates|Movement Strategy Weekly]] will be delivered weekly. Please remember to subscribe [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Global message delivery/Targets/MSG Newsletter Subscription|here]] if you would like to receive future issues of this newsletter.
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;margin-top:3px; padding:10px 10px 10px 20px; background:#fffff; border:2px solid #808080; border-radius:4px; font-size:100%;&quot;&gt; 

* '''Movement sustainability''': Wikimedia Foundation's annual sustainability report has been published. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A1&lt;/tvar&gt;|continue reading]])
* '''Improving user experience''': recent improvements on the desktop interface for Wikimedia projects. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A2|continue reading]])
* '''Safety and inclusion''': updates on the revision process of the Universal Code of Conduct Enforcement Guidelines. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A3|continue reading]])
* '''Equity in decisionmaking''': reports from Hubs pilots conversations, recent progress from the Movement Charter Drafting Committee, and a new white paper for futures of participation in the Wikimedia movement. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A4|continue reading]])
* '''Stakeholders coordination''': launch of a helpdesk for Affiliates and volunteer communities working on content partnership. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A5|continue reading]])
* '''Leadership development''': updates on leadership projects by Wikimedia movement organizers in Brazil and Cape Verde. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A6|continue reading]])
* '''Internal knowledge management''': launch of a new portal for technical documentation and community resources. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A7|continue reading]])
* '''Innovate in free knowledge''': high-quality audiovisual resources for scientific experiments and a new toolkit to record oral transcripts. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A8|continue reading]])
* '''Evaluate, iterate, and adapt''': results from the Equity Landscape project pilot ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A9|continue reading]])
*
'''Other news and updates''': a new forum to discuss Movement Strategy implementation, upcoming Wikimedia Foundation Board of Trustees election, a new podcast to discuss Movement Strategy, and change of personnel for the Foundation's Movement Strategy and Governance team. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A10|continue reading]])

&lt;/div&gt;&lt;section end=&quot;msg-newsletter&quot;/&gt;

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 22:59, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Announcing the six candidates for the Board of Trustees election ==

:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election/Short|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election/Short}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi everyone,

The Affiliate Representatives have completed their voting period. The selected 2022 Board of Trustees candidates are:

* Tobechukwu Precious Friday ([[:m:User:Tochiprecious|Tochiprecious]])
* Farah Jack Mustaklem ([[:m:User:Fjmustak|Fjmustak]])
* Shani Evenstein Sigalov ([[:m:User:Esh77|Esh77]])
* Kunal Mehta ([[:m:User:Legoktm|Legoktm]])
* Michał Buczyński ([[:m:User:Aegis Maelstrom|Aegis Maelstrom]])
* Mike Peel ([[:m:User:Mike Peel|Mike Peel]])

You may see more information about the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Results|Results]] and [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Stats|Statistics]] of this Board election.

The Affiliate organizations selected representatives to vote on behalf of the Affiliate organization. The Affiliate Representatives proposed questions for the candidates to answer in mid-June. These answers from candidates and the information provided from the Analysis Committee provided support for the representatives as they made their decision.

Please take a moment to appreciate the Affiliate Representatives and Analysis Committee members for taking part in this process and helping to grow the Board of Trustees in capacity and diversity. These hours of volunteer work connect us across understanding and perspective. Thank you for your participation.

Thank you to the community members who put themselves forward as candidates for the Board of Trustees. Considering joining the Board of Trustees is no small decision. The time and dedication candidates have shown to this point speaks to their commitment to this movement. Congratulations to those candidates who have been selected. A great amount of appreciation and gratitude for those candidates not selected. Please continue to share your leadership with Wikimedia.

What can voters do now?

[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Results|Review the results of the Affiliate selection process]].

[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election|Read more here about the next steps in the 2022 Board of Trustee election]].

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''&lt;/translate&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;section end=&quot;announcement-content&quot; /&gt;

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 19:35, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== Let's talk about the Desktop Improvements ==

[[File:Vector 2022 showing language menu with a blue menu trigger and blue menu items 01.jpg|thumb]]
Join an online meeting with the team working on the [[mw:Reading/Web/Desktop Improvements|Desktop Improvements]]! It will take place on '''26 July 2022 at [https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?iso=20220726T1200 12:00 UTC] and [https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?iso=20220726T1900 19:00 UTC]''' on Zoom. '''[https://wikimedia.zoom.us/j/5304280674 Click here to join]'''. Meeting ID: 5304280674. [https://wikimedia.zoom.us/u/kc2hamfYz9 Dial by your location].

[[mw:Special:MyLanguage/Reading/Web/Desktop Improvements/Updates/Talk to Web|Read more]]. See you! [[User:SGrabarczuk (WMF)|SGrabarczuk (WMF)]] ([[User talk:SGrabarczuk (WMF)|talk]]) 16:19, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:SGrabarczuk (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:SGrabarczuk_(WMF)/sandbox/MM/En_fallback&amp;oldid=23430301 --&gt;

== Vote for Election Compass Statements ==

:''[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements|You can find this message translated into additional languages on Meta-wiki.]]''
:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi all,

Volunteers in the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] are invited to [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass/Statements|vote for statements to use in the Election Compass]]. You can vote for the statements you would like to see included in the Election Compass on Meta-wiki.

An Election Compass is a tool to help voters select the candidates that best align with their beliefs and views. The community members will propose statements for the candidates to answer using a Lickert scale (agree/neutral/disagree). The candidates’ answers to the statements will be loaded into the Election Compass tool. Voters will use the tool by entering in their answer to the statements (agree/disagree/neutral). The results will show the candidates that best align with the voter’s beliefs and views.

Here is the timeline for the Election Compass:

*&lt;s&gt;July 8 - 20: Volunteers propose statements for the Election Compass&lt;/s&gt;
*&lt;s&gt;July 21 - 22: Elections Committee reviews statements for clarity and removes off-topic statements&lt;/s&gt;
*July 23 - August 3: Volunteers vote on the statements
*August 4: Elections Committee selects the top 15 statements
*August 5 - 12: candidates align themselves with the statements
*August 16: The Election Compass opens for voters to use to help guide their voting decision

The Elections Committee will select the top 15 statements at the beginning of August


Best, 

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 17:20, 26 July 2022 (UTC)

== Names for cleanup categories ==

Hello,

I'm going to start localising a load of imported clean-up templates over the next few weeks, and I wanted some feedback from the community on what terminology to use for the associated categories. Some of these clean-up templates sort main space pages into categories of the form &quot;Articles needing foo&quot;, some of them sort them into categories of the form &quot;Wikiquote pages needing foo&quot; (and some templates have been half-localised and sort them into both!). What is the preferred terminology for these kind of pages? &quot;Article&quot; or &quot;Wikiquote pages&quot;? Just thought I'd get some feedback before editing dozens of templates and making dozens of categories. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:18, 28 July 2022 (UTC)

:Content in the main namespace can be &quot;articles&quot; for sure, especially if that makes it easier. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:04, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:Koavf|Koavf]] Thanks, that's really helpful. I'll make a start localising and cleaning up these templates so they don't sort pages into nonsense like [[:Category:Wikipedia external links cleanup]].
::There's one other template I'd like some feedback on, {{tl|cleanup}}. This template seems to have been hijacked and now does a completley different function to when it was a wikiquote specific one; it used to be for articles that didn't fit into any of the specific cleanup categories, now it's a generic &quot;tag everything&quot; type template. As it stands this template has been copied from the English Wikipedia and has a lot of complexity and features that don't make sense here. As I see it there are a few ways we could move forward with this template:
::# Roll it back to the old, wikiquote specific version
::# Try to localise the current template properly (I'm not keen on this, it is way too complex and has way too much subcategorization for a project of this size).
::# Try to simplify the new template to produce something that works well on this project.
::# Remake the template in the new style, but replicating the functionality of the old clean-up template as much as possible.
::There are also a couple of features of the new style template that I'd like to get some feedback on whether they're actually useful here, to start:
::# The new template asks you to submit a reason when tagging a page for cleanup, is this required on this project and is populating [[:Creating Category:Cleanup tagged articles without a reason field]] useful?
::# Is categorising pages by namespace useful? e.g. sorting pages into &quot;Wikiquote categories needing cleanup&quot;, &quot;Wikiquote templates needing cleanup&quot;, &quot;Wikiquote Articles needing cleanup&quot; etc? My gut feeling is no, given that there are less than 100 pages tagged in total.
::As you might be able to tell I'm a bit lost when it comes to figuring out what to do with {{tl|cleanup}}. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:43, 30 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I don't think that this project is big or active enough to need to be sorted by namespace with cleanup templates. If you think it's best to revert back to how this template functioned back in April, then I support that. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:56, 31 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Thanks, I'll give it a few days to see if anyone else has any comments, if not I'll revert back to the old version of the template. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 16:43, 1 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::Reverted back to the old version since no objections were raised. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 15:14, 6 August 2022 (UTC)

== Decorative quotation templates ==

What is the community's opinion on decorative quotation templates like [[Template:Blockquote]]? The [[Wikiquote:Manual of style|manual of style]] and [[Wikiquote:Guide to layout|guide to layout]] says that articles should be composed of plain bulleted lists, but these templates have been added to a few places, e.g. [[Jill Biden]]. Should they be removed, or should the manual of style be updated to allow them? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 15:46, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
:I am not a fan. I see it as a similar discussion regarding the bolding of quotes. To me the different ways of presenting quotes is a bit jarring and there does nto seem to be any criteria used for which quotes use this alternate style. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 16:26, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
* It's useful on other projects. But it's a little like having a specially formatted box on Wikipedia for prose. Uh...prose is kindof the main point of the project. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 16:39, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
*I am also not a fan - I'd prefer as little markup as possible in our pages, since I think markup is off-putting for newbies. Text only is good. I personally tend to be a minimalist on such stuff. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 18:46, 3 August 2022 (UTC)

== If you love somebody, let them go ==

&quot;If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.&quot;&lt;br style=&quot;margin-bottom:0.5em&quot;/&gt;Seems attributed to [[Kahlil Gibran]] by random image search results. A similar variant &quot;If you love something, let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever.&quot; is attributed to [[w:en:Douglas Horton]] by [http://www.quotehd.com/quotes/douglas-horton-clergyman-if-you-love-something-let-it-go-free-if-it-doesnt-come-back another random image search result]. Is either of these correct? If not, perhaps the misattribution could be mentioned on [[Kahlil Gibran]]? &lt;span id=&quot;Alexis_Jazz:1659594815083:WikiquoteBWLCLNVillage_pump&quot; class=&quot;BawlCmt&quot;&gt;[[User:Alexis Jazz|Alexis Jazz]] ([[User talk:Alexis Jazz|talk]]) 06:33, 4 August 2022 (UTC)&lt;/span&gt;

== Any tutorials?  ==

Hi Wikiquote friends, I'm TheAafi, and I mostly contribute on English Wikipedia. I happen to be founder of [[:m:Deoband Community Wikimedia|Deoband Community Wikimedia]], a recognized Wikimedia user group affiliate. I recently organized a series of events to bring attention of DCW volunteers to Wikiquote (see: [[:m:Deoband Community Wikimedia/Events/Wikiquote Delhi August 2022|this page for details]]). Is there any training material already available that I could utilize for this purpose. If not, DCW would be like to aid in this necessary endeavor. Regards, ─ [[User:TheAafi|&lt;span style=&quot;color:SteelBlue&quot;&gt;The Aafī&lt;/span&gt;]] &lt;sup&gt;[[User talk:TheAafi|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#80A0FF&quot;&gt;&lt;sup&gt;(talk)&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/sup&gt; 13:14, 11 August 2022 (UTC)

== Delay of the 2022 Wikimedia Foundation Board of Trustees election ==

Hi all,

I am reaching out to you today with an update about the timing of the voting for the Board of Trustees election.

As many of you are already aware, this year we are offering an [[metawiki:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass|Election Compass]] to help voters identify the alignment of candidates on some key topics. Several candidates requested an extension of the character limitation on their responses expanding on their positions, and the Elections Committee felt their reasoning was consistent with the goals of a fair and equitable election process.

To ensure that the longer statements can be translated in time for the election, the Elections Committee and Board Selection Task Force decided to delay the opening of the Board of Trustees election by one week - a time proposed as ideal by staff working to support the election.

Although it is not expected that everyone will want to use the Election Compass to inform their voting decision, the Elections Committee felt it was more appropriate to open the voting period with essential translations for community members across languages to use if they wish to make this important decision.

The voting will open on August 23 at 00:00 UTC and close on September 6 at 23:59 UTC.

Please find this message translated in additional languages [[m:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Delay of Board of Trustees election|here]].

Best regards,

On behalf of the Elections Committee

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 09:23, 16 August 2022 (UTC)

== Invitation to join Movement Strategy Forum ==

Hello everyone,

The [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/ Movement Strategy Forum] (MS Forum) is a multilingual collaborative space for all conversations about Movement Strategy implementation. It provides a great opportunity to share your Movement Strategy(MS) work, find collaborators, and get even more support and ideas for your MS projects. We are inviting all Movement participants to collaborate on the MS Forum. The goal of the forum is to build community collaboration using an inclusive multilingual platform. 

The [[metawiki:Movement Strategy|Movement Strategy]] is a collaborative effort to imagine and build the future of the Wikimedia Movement. Anyone can contribute to the Movement Strategy, from a comment to a full-time project. 

Join this forum with your Wikimedia account, say hi [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/t/say-hello/79 here] and go ahead and join or start a conversation on the recommendation you are most passionate about! Feel free to discuss your MS project ideas and plans or even reports from MS projects you have worked on.  To get started, you can also watch [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/t/a-walk-through-the-movement-strategy-forum/1431 this video].

The Movement Strategy and Governance team (MSG) launched the proposal for this MS Forum in May. After a 2-month review period, we have just published the [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/t/ms-forum-community-review-report/1436 Community Review Report]. It includes a summary of the discussions, metrics, and information about the next steps.

We look forward to seeing you at the MS Forum! 

Best regards,

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 09:40, 19 August 2022 (UTC)

== The 2022 Board of Trustees Election Community Voting period is now open  ==

:''[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/The 2022 Board of Trustees election Community Voting period is now open|You can find this message translated into additional languages on Meta-wiki.]]''
:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/The 2022 Board of Trustees election Community Voting period is now open|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/The 2022 Board of Trustees election Community Voting period is now open}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi everyone,

The Community Voting period for the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] is now open. Here are some helpful links to get you the information you need to vote:

*  Try the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass|Election Compass]], showing how candidates stand on 15 different topics.
* [[m:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Campaign Videos|Watch the candidate videos]] or read the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Candidates|candidate statements]] and [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Affiliate_Organization_Participation/Candidate_Questions|answers to Affiliate questions]]
* [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Apply to be a Candidate|Learn more about the skills the Board seeks]] and how the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Candidates|Analysis Committee found candidates align with those skills]]

If you are ready to vote, you may go to [[Special:SecurePoll/vote/Wikimedia_Foundation_Board_Elections_2022|SecurePoll voting page]] to vote now. '''You may vote from August 23 at 00:00 UTC to September 6 at 23:59 UTC.''' To see about your voter eligibility, please visit the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Voter_eligibility_guidelines|voter eligibility page]].

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 21:12, 23 August 2022 (UTC)

== RevDel policy ==

Revision deletion has been used 278 times this year and 86 times across the whole of 2021... so, it's clear revision deletion on this wiki is becoming more used and fast. I think it's only right with increasing RevDel use to have a RevDel policy. While admins have RevDel reasons they can give when deleting a revision from public view, some are broad. These options are the following:
*Copyright violation
*Inappropriate comment
*Inappropriate username
*Potentially libelous information
*Personal information

A few personal comments about this:
#Inappropriate comment specifically is extremely broad. What does an inappropriate comment mean? Would calling someone stupid be eligible under this option? Or would the comment have to be more disruptive? Note that revision deletion was not created to deal with &quot;ordinary&quot; incivility.
#Potentially libelous information and Personal information should ''not'' be openly dealt with by admins, to avoid the [[Streisand effect]], and should instead be dealt with by oversighters. We currently do not have any local oversighters, so we contact stewards privately if oversight is needed here. These two options shouldn't be part of a RevDel policy, in my opinion.
#Regardless of policy, options that should be used for oversight should be separated from common delete options to avoid extra attention.

I have a few ideas for future RevDel options, and if there's a consensus for them, these should be noted down on a Wikiquote: page as a policy, potentially as an addition to [[Wikiquote:Deletion policy]] or by creating [[Wikiquote:Revision deletion policy]], also depending on the community's preference. These options can be changed on [[MediaWiki:Revdelete-reason-dropdown]].

I would appreciate anyone's opinions for these ideas, that are inspired by enwiki's [[w:Wikipedia:Revision deletion|revision deletion policy]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

=== RD1: Blatant violations of the copyright policy ===
This would be fairly basic, a replacement to our current option &quot;Copyright violation&quot;. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
==== Comments ====
* {{support}} Sensible and it helps keep this a free culture community. While very unlikely, it also shields us from legal risk. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:49, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

=== RD2: Grossly insulting, degrading, or offensive material ===
A diff that has little to no project value whatsoever - for example, slurs, smears and grossly inappropriate material that has no project value, but not &quot;ordinary&quot; incivility, personal attacks or conduct accusations. If a page has a grossly improper title, the page title can be deleted in the creation and deletion logs too. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

==== Comments ====
* {{support}} Per [[:w:en:WP:DENY]]. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:53, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

=== RD3: Purely disruptive material ===
Purely disruptive material that does not help the project at all - for example, harassment, grossly inappropriate threats or attacks, malicious HTML or CSS, shock pages, phishing or virus pages, or web pages that disparage or threaten someone and serve no valid purpose. Spam links are not covered under this policy. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

==== Comments ====
* {{support}} This adds no value and actually detracts, so deny it as well. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:54, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

=== Other RevDel ideas? ===
Any other ideas for a RevDel policy can be put as another section with ===, above this one. Thanks for your input and help. -- [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>95q2asitsloyjerxa2vduoybg9vowr0</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158637</id>
      <parentid>3158636</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T17:55:14Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Koavf</username>
        <id>6765</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Other RevDel ideas? */ Reply</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="108023" xml:space="preserve">__NEWSECTIONLINK__
{{Wikiquote:Village pump/Header}}

== Help needed ==

Originally when GRP create the ED page I forgot about it, now he's doing it again, could someone help get it deleted? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:51, 1 July 2022 (UTC)

:The harder you try, the more likely it is to remain, and the more people will want to look at it. It's like that old fable of trying to catch your breath by running after it.
:My advice: let it go. Let it go. Let - it - go. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 17:40, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Antandrus}} {{done}} will do that, thanks for the advice. Also, I got a message from them as well, [https://encyclopediadramatica.online/User:MarioMario456/talk3 here]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:34, 2 July 2022 (UTC)

== Results of Wiki Loves Folklore 2022 is out! ==

&lt;div lang=&quot;en&quot; dir=&quot;ltr&quot; class=&quot;mw-content-ltr&quot;&gt;
{{int:please-translate}}
[[File:Wiki Loves Folklore Logo.svg|right|150px|frameless]]

Hi, Greetings

The winners for '''[[c:Commons:Wiki Loves Folklore 2022|Wiki Loves Folklore 2022]]''' is announced!

We are happy to share with you winning images for this year's edition. This year saw over 8,584 images represented on commons in over 92 countries. Kindly see images '''[[:c:Commons:Wiki Loves Folklore 2022/Winners|here]]'''

Our profound gratitude to all the people who participated and organized local contests and photo walks for this project.

We hope to have you contribute to the campaign next year.

'''Thank you,'''

'''Wiki Loves Folklore International Team'''

--[[User:MediaWiki message delivery|MediaWiki message delivery]] ([[User talk:MediaWiki message delivery|talk]]) 16:12, 4 July 2022 (UTC)

&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Tiven2240@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Distribution_list/Non-Technical_Village_Pumps_distribution_list&amp;oldid=23454230 --&gt;

== QOTD ==

&lt;span style=&quot;position: absolute; {{#ifeq:{{{hide}}}|false||{{#ifeq:{{{hide}}}|no||visibility: hidden;}}}}&quot;&gt;@[[User:Aphaia]] @[[User:BD2412]] @[[User:DannyS712]] @[[User:Ferien]] @[[User:GreenMeansGo]] @[[User:Illegitimate Barrister]] @[[User:Jusjih]] @[[User:Kalki]] @[[User:Koavf]] @[[User:Mdd]] @[[User:Miszatomic]] @[[User:Ningauble]] @[[User:Pmlineditor]] @[[User:UDScott]] @[[User:Ilovemydoodle]]&lt;/span&gt; The Main Page is missing a QOTD! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:30, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

:Nice find. I made a redirect for the time being. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:32, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Wow! That was fast. Also, surprised that managed to slip through. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:47, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Also, did you get pinged? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:48, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::did and got an email in my inbox. Thanks! —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:49, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|koavf}} Why did you get an email? (I didn't send one) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:02, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::[[Special:Preferences#mw-prefsection-watchlist]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:26, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|Koavf}} Huh? I don't see an email option there. Also, could you please deal with the massive backlog over at [[WQ:VIP]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:36, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::My bad: [[Special:Preferences#mw-prefsection-echo]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:40, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:Could you not ping all the admins in your message? This left me rather confused as there was no visible ping and I wasn't involved. If something needs urgent admin attention, please go to [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:18, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:: +1. Please do not ping multitudes of people at once, and please do not ''hide'' invisible pings so nobody can see what is going on. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 20:15, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Abuse Filter feedback ==

What are you thoughts on [[User talk:Koavf#Abuse Filter|my proposed additions to the Abuse Filter]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:44, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|Koavf|Ferien|Antandrus|UDScott}} Thoughts? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:21, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::I've edited the abuse filter before, but I'm not a whiz at it. Note that blocking edits outright based on some of these filters would certainly disrupt standard editing. I feel like this is probably not the best way to stop vandalism and would want to get more consensus from the community. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:28, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Which in particular concern you? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:40, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::I could easily see someone writing &quot;globally blocked&quot; and tripping an abuse filter tag or your username for that matter. Of course, some settings in the abuse filter will completely block an edit from happening and others will just log that it occurred, but either way is not desirable: stopping legitimate edits is bad and a log that is full of false positives is bad. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:42, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} In my request it says that &quot;globally blocked&quot; would only trip it if it was in that specific capitalization (all letters capitalized). – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:50, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::But also &quot;globally blocked lta&quot; (any capitalization) and &quot;et al&quot;? Those are totally valid words that could be used. Also, as I recall, the edit filter takes a toll for computing on the backend, so it's best to not have many edit filter entries. I could be wrong about that, tho. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:03, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Well it says that it is only applies non-auto confirmed, so not that big of a deal. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:24, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I could easily imagine a not auto-confirmed user writing &quot;et al&quot;. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:26, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|koavf}} {{done|Fixed}}&amp;nbsp; Any others remaining that you are still concerned about? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:29, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::thx/thanx would probably be it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:41, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{ping|koavf}} {{done|Fixed}}&amp;nbsp; Any more? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:52, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::I don't think so. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:02, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{ping|koavf}} So, do you support now? And can you add it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:05, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::This still needs consensus and I believe that the edit filter has a kind of high toll, so I'm still on the fence. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:07, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::{{ping|koavf}} High toll in terms of what? Also, (roughly) how many for votes for a consensus for something like this? 1? 2? 3? 5? 10? 100? The entire population of the United States?{{humor inline}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:09, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::Sorry that I was unclear: I've had a hard time sleeping. What I mean is that, in my recollection, the filter needs to do a lot of computing work, since it needs to review the contents of every edit in real time, so adding a lot of filter rules is advised against. I could be wrong, again, I'm not an edit filter whiz, but I have edited it a little on a couple of projects. Plus, as I called out before, there's a kind of human toll where you may end up with false positives or blocking edits that are valid and that takes manual oversight, so it's hard to know exactly what ruels will result in the most efficient use of time. As for how many are needed for consensus, I don't have a hard number in mind, but I would like to leave this open for a few weeks and I hope get a few others giving feedback, since I'm not terribly confident about my skills with the filter. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I'm failing to see the point in even adding that to the abuse filter now you have made it public. The reason the abuse filter is private is to make sure LTAs have a hard time trying to edit. Not simply noticing &quot;oh I can't say these words so let me change my behaviour/what I say&quot;. This LTA is always trying to get past the abuse filter and sometimes succeeds. There is a reason this abuse filter is rarely discussed on-wiki. Discussing abuse filters should not be on talk pages, let alone anywhere near the village pump. -[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:54, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass ==

:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi all,

Community members in the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] are invited to [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass|propose statements to use in the Election Compass.]]

An Election Compass is a tool to help voters select the candidates that best align with their beliefs and views. The community members will propose statements for the candidates to answer using a Lickert scale (agree/neutral/disagree). The candidates’ answers to the statements will be loaded into the Election Compass tool. Voters will use the tool by entering in their answer to the statements (agree/disagree/neutral). The results will show the candidates that best align with the voter’s beliefs and views.

Here is the timeline for the Election Compass:

July 8 - 20: Community members propose statements for the Election Compass

July 21 - 22: Elections Committee reviews statements for clarity and removes off-topic statements

July 23 - August 1: Volunteers vote on the statements

August 2 - 4: Elections Committee selects the top 15 statements

August 5 - 12: candidates align themselves with the statements

August 15: The Election Compass opens for voters to use to help guide their voting decision

The Elections Committee will select the top 15 statements at the beginning of August. The Elections Committee will oversee the process, supported by the Movement Strategy and Governance team. MSG will check that the questions are clear, there are no duplicates, no typos, and so on.

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 13:30, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

== Add template editor right ==

Some of the most used templates here are protected so only admins can edit, which is important for stopping vandalism, but, a lot of potential for fixes and improvements within these pages is also lost because of it. So, do you think that a separate template editor right should be added? (I'm not specifically talking about me, and by &quot;improvements&quot; I don't mean radical changes) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:30, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:I'm generally in favor of breaking off some of the admin user rights for individuals who have skills and motivation to do certain technical work (templates, interface admin) without doing things like blocking, protecting pages, deleting, etc. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:21, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:This seems like a good idea to me. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 02:54, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support''' – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support with caveat''' - Does this differ from 'interface editor' on other projects? [[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 14:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} What is 'interface editor'? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 14:47, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::: [[m:Interface_editors]][[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 15:26, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} Yes, very different, 'template editor' only includes the right to edit protected templates. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:28, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*I don't really consider myself much apart of the enwikiq community, but while I'm here just dropping a tech note. &quot;template editor&quot; currently would do nothing, for it to be useful the community would need to decide they want another protection level (normally more stringent than &quot;semiprotected&quot; and less stringent than &quot;protected&quot;); then administrators would need to actual configure this protection level on pages.  The community would need to determine how this new template editing access should be managed (normally it is &quot;by administrators&quot; technically, with varying local policy rules that you would determine), then add this group to editors that you want to be able to edit the pages that are protected at that level.  Most &quot;smaller&quot; (in terms of active editing communities) don't bother with this, the none/semi-protected/fully-protected scheme is sufficient. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:32, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Oppose'''. Per [[Special:ProtectedPages]] There are currently 84 fully protected templates and no fully protected modules on this wiki. I do not think it is a good use of time to set up a user group, assign it to people and pages, create policies about use/abuse/granting/revocation, update everything else that comes along with big changes in user rights (templates, scripts, policy, help pages, interface messages, etc) when this new protection level will probably be used on 30-40 pages and will be probably only be granted to 1 or 2 people, it just seems like a lot of extra bureaucracy for not much benefit. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:27, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::Noting here that only 12 projects have template editor rights enabled, and one of those is the testing wiki. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:50, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''Oppose''' Fundamentally tainted proposal given the proposer's propensity to propose new user groups seemingly for the sake of doing so rather than to fill any actual need. [[User:Pppery|Pppery]] ([[User talk:Pppery|talk]]) 03:10, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Pppery}} I have had many occasions where this right would be useful for me. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:13, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Pppery}} Please see [[w:WP:HYE|WP:HYE]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:21, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Is this really a valid reason to vote against something? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Any reason could be valid, but I don't think this is a very compelling reason for a no and were I closing this conversation, I don't know that I would count this as being very on-topic. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:46, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

== Add revision importer right ==

{{discussion-closed-top|Withdrawn and starting new vote}}
{{center|{{Ombox|image=&amp;nbsp;|text=&lt;h3&gt;Voting results as of July 17, 2022&lt;/h2&gt;{{Election results|alliance1=Support|aspan1=4|atotal4=3|apct1=50%|party1=Support|votes1=2|party2=Strong Support|votes2=0|party3=Weak Support|votes3=1|alliance5=Oppose|aspan5=4|atotal8=5|party5=Oppose|votes5=4|party6=Strong Oppose|votes6=0|party7=Weak Oppose|votes7=1|alliance9=Other|aspan9=4|atotal12=2|vatotal12=0|party9=Neutral|votes9=2|vatotal9=0|party10=Withdrawn/re-submitted/invalid|votes10=0|party11=Comment/question|votes11=0|color1=#20ff20|color2=#008e00|color3=#72ff72|color5=#ff0000|color6=#a80000|color7=#ff6868|color9=yellow|color10=black|color11=#efefef|valid=8|invalid=2}}}}}}

{{ping|koavf}} This is still in very early stages, but here is a proposal for a new user group containing the following rights:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt;
* The ability to self-revoke the right from yourself.
What do you think so far? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:27, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

=== Potential concerns ===

=== Comments ===

:It's not obvious to me why all of these are lumped together and it seems like straight up importer would work, if the community thought it was necessary or a bureaucrat/steward saw fit to give someone the right. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:22, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Well, I am posting this in hopes of getting it approved on phab. Also for the explanations:
::* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; Self-explanatory.
::* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; Self-explanatory.
::* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; Useful for advanced importing.
::* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; For merging older revisions into page that were not originally imported.
::* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; In case the rate limit triggers from sending too much data.
::* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Basic right.
::* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; If a page imported page needs to be moved without redirect.
::* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; Security reasons as with other user groups.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:34, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I'm fine with it. If you file a ticket at [[phab:]], they will want to see more consensus than this before changing the site preferences. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:33, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Thank you! I  needed to post this here to get consensus and to get feedback on possible improvements. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:34, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Also, do you think this right should be granted by stewards or bureaucrats? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:35, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I don't see why this should have to escalate all the way up to stewards. I think the only rights that should be like that are CheckUser and Oversight, but I know that I'm in the minority on that. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:43, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|koavf}} Wait, what rights other than those two require stewards? Also, I do agree with you. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:51, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::E.g. bureaucrats cannot remove any rights other than those that admins can and the bot flag. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 11:17, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support''' – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:12, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
:&lt;s&gt;'''Neutral''' - I don't know that this is really needed, but I'm not as familiar with the way things work here on Wikiquote. Maybe there's a need that isn't covered by the importers user group? Maybe that group should be modified to include these additional rights? I don't know, so I'm neutral on this proposal. [[User:Nihonjoe|Nihonjoe]] ([[User talk:Nihonjoe|talk]]) 22:15, 13 July 2022 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; Changed to oppose.
::'''Oppose''', for several reasons.
::#I think you're going out of your way to harass anyone who is voting against (or in my case, neutral about) your proposal. Your attempts to strike Ferien's vote (or any of the votes of others whose reasons you deem &quot;invalid&quot;) are especially disturbing. How about you let people have opinions that differ from yours, and leave it at that? 
::#The gigantic warning (added and continually made more obnoxious with each edit [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143520 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143522 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143526 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143527 here], and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143528 here] is completely unnecessary and only serves to make you look unhinged.
::#As others have pointed out, you don't seem to fully grasp how the various user rights work, and your proposal contains a lot of unnecessary rights bundled together apparently because you want all of the bundled rights and not because they serve any useful general purpose bundled together as proposed.
::#Going off the last point, you have repeatedly failed to express valid reasons how this would be useful to anyone other than yourself.
::For all these reasons (and probably a few others I forgot while typing this), I don't see any valid need for this new user group. [[User:Nihonjoe|Nihonjoe]] ([[User talk:Nihonjoe|talk]]) 08:34, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Seems okay'''; not really sure why it is needed, but I don't seen any compelling reason for not, so I guess that's a tentative support. Open to persuasion if I am missing something. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 02:53, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Antandrus}} Here is some more information/context:
::&lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; I regularly need to import a lot of templates (including revisions), so this would be nice.
::&lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; Useful for doing the above automatically, mass-importing pages from another wiki, or importing multiple levels deep.
::&lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; Useful for advanced importing.
::&lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; For merging older revisions into page that were not originally imported.
::&lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; If a page/template you are importing contains/is on the blacklist.
::&lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; In case you trigger the rate limit for creating too many pages.
::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Basic right. Also, similar to above.
::&lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; Deleting a page after it has been merged.
::&lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; Same as above.
::&lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; Security reasons as with other user groups.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:06, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Oppose''' Import is quite a dangerous tool. On Simple English Wikipedia we do have the importer right but it is rarely used or given out, mainly because you have to be really trusted to use it. Seeing as import could cause so much damage and that damage isn't really reversible without admin tools, you have to have a very large amount of trust in someone to give them import, and at that point if you can trust them so much to use import properly, why not give admin so they can clear up any mess they might make as well. While this is the general attitude on simplewiki, it applies to any WMF site. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:56, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Ferien}} Yes, it is a powerful tool, but why are you against this? If it is dangerous, we'll just be extra careful when giving out, like any other user right. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:01, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::It's a powerful tool and it's very difficult to reverse mistakes if you are not an admin. If you're not careful, you can import dozens of templates at once that may not be the ones you wanted to import, and you have to fix these pages or call an admin to delete these pages manually. I am also not voting against you as you seem to be implying below, import is already included in admin and so you are suggesting it should be given to non-admins, which I oppose for the reasons above. [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:44, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Ferien}} It already '''is''' given to non-admins on many other wikis. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:50, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, but not on Wikiquote. Just because many other wikis have done it wrong doesn't mean we should do it wrong too. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:10, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|Ferien}}
::::::{{Blockquote|Just because many other wikis have done it wrong}}
::::::I am not sure if this is humorous or not, but, if it isn't: 
::::::: This is a ridiculous comment, just because you don't agree doesn't make it &quot;wrong&quot;. Considering this has been done on dozens of wikis, it is probably a good choice for at-least some wikis. By making this comment, it makes your original vote look like it was made in bad faith.
::::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:23, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, they have done it wrong ''in my opinion''. Your opinion may be different but as I said, I think the same applies for most wikis and unless you are including delete in importer or importer is only added if you have a role like one on some wikis called eliminator which has delete tools and block tools, but not protection, abuse filter etc, I do not think importer on its own is appropriate. That does not make my !vote done in bad faith. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} If you don't think this should be done on ''any'' wiki, make a request on meta, rather than voting here. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:30, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} Since your vote is about generally being against the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; right for non-admins and not specifically about my request, may I please strike it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, not sure why you want to strike my vote, because that is exactly what your request is about. While it doesn't specify non-admins specifically or mention non-admins, that is exactly what you are asking for. Admins already have the import right. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:35, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I never said that importer being given on other wikis should be reversed. That wouldn't be done on meta anyway, it'd be done for individual communities as they decided to add it there. If other wikis feel that's what works for them, then that's fine. I am not really part of many other wikis' community. Only simplewiki, enwikiquote and to some extent metawiki and enwiki. However, what you were suggesting was that we should give non-admins importer on this wiki because it's done on other wikis, and as I disagree with the importer right being separate as a whole, I do not agree with that argument. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:33, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}}
::::::::::{{Blockquote|However, what you were suggesting was that we should give non-admins importer on this wiki because it's done on other wikis, and as I disagree with the importer right being separate as a whole, I do not agree with that argument.}}
::::::::::I am suggesting it should be done &quot;because it is done on other wikis&quot;, I was just pointing that out. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:38, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:03, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I have already read the message. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 08:52, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} Could explain exactly ''why'' you oppose '''''the creation''''' of this right? You have already explained that it is dangerous right, in your opinion, and should be restricted, but why do you not want it created? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:04, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Koavf}} What are your thoughts on this reply? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:17, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Whether we should have importers and who should be importers are two different things. Admins have all these rights and more, so I don't see the problem. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:17, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|ferien|koavf}} {{u|Koavf}}, just what I was thinking! This isn't an RfRI, this is a feature request. While I would like to have it, whether I get should be held in a vote for that, not if should exist at all. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|Koavf}} Can the vote be striken-off as invalid? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::So I assume you're talking about my vote? Is there any reason why it should be struck as invalid? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:40, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::No. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 10:46, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|Kalki}} Could you vote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:42, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:: I do not see any compelling need for creating such a user group, and do see that it could develop complications and problems that would have to be sorted out in often tedious ways. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 20:44, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I also '''oppose''' this - for many of the reasons already articulated above. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:29, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Kalki|UDScott}} Could you be more specific, so I could try to improve/re-submit this? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:08, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|UDScott}} Could you give me some recommendations on how to improve my proposal? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:08, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::It's not a matter of making tweaks to your proposal that will suddenly convince me - I just don't think this is something we want. I would rather see more users become admins if qualified, rather than adding more roles. I also worry about imports being done improperly and causing other issues. Bottom line is that I just don't see the value in doing this, regardless of how the proposal to do so is worded. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:57, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|UDScott}}
::::::{{Blockquote|I also worry about imports being done improperly and causing other issues.}}
::::::Well, I would assume if someone is given, they would know how to import properly. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:02, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::That's quite the logical fallacy you've got going there. Just because someone has garnered enough support to be granted a role in no way means that a process will be performed correctly. Everyone who has been in the admin role has at one time or another made an error - because of a misunderstanding, a lack of technical ability, or simply a mistake. The nomination and approval process that results in one gaining a role does not remove risk of issues. I just don't see the need for this role, especially given the risk involved (and the fact that if errors are made, it is a bit tedious to correct them). I do not support this proposal - I've explained this multiple times, even though I don't believe that I need to justify my lack of support. And a tip, especially as we are in active discussion: there's really no need to continually ping me every time you respond. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:12, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|UDScott}} As {{u|Koavf}} said, &quot;Whether we should have importers and who should be importers are two different things. Admins have all these rights and more, so I don't see the problem.&quot; Wouldn't that also apply to this vote?
::::::::{{Blockquote|And a tip, especially as we are in active discussion: there's really no need to continually ping me every time you respond.}}
::::::::That's usually how a one-to-one discussion works.
::::::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:20, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::I am applying it to this vote - to me the risk is too high for ''any''one to have it when I don't see the need for it. And no, pinging someone and just addressing them in the text of the conversation are two different things. Imagine if we were standing at a door having a discussion. You could easily say my name and make your point - or you could ring the doorbell every time before you speak. One is standard behavior and the other is a bit annoying - see the difference? IMHO, pinging should only be used when you have received no response and wish to gain someone's attention. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::What exactly ''are'' the risks to importing? I understand how it could be used maliciously (e.g. spamming, faking edits, etc.), but I don't see how it could be destructive when used in good faith. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:32, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::I believe Ferien outlined the issues very well above. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:34, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{ping|UDScott}} Well, there already are the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; user rights. I never said what the requirements would be or how strictly it would be given out, only the user rights it would contain and how it would work. Are you against the very idea of non-developers importing? And if so, wouldn't you the rights removed entirely? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:41, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Do you have any suggestions as to how I could improve this proposal? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::I do not. It seems like community consensus is tilting against it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:58, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} Currently the results are: 3 Support, 1 Neutral, 3 Oppose. So, even. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:07, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''oppose''' does not seem needed or useful, extremely sensitive rights --[[User:DannyS712|DannyS712]] ([[User talk:DannyS712|talk]]) 21:51, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|DannyS712}} Please explain further. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:30, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''neutral''' I was aksed to leave feedback, but I rarely edit Wikiquote, how often would this need to be used? [[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 14:54, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} Very often. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 14:56, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:According to [[Special:log/import]] since the software started logging imports in late 2007 the right has been used a grand total of 171 times, with 97 of those uses being the same person on the same day in 2019. The claim that this would be used &quot;very often&quot; appears to have no basis in the available facts. A breakdown of yearly usage stats for this right:
{{collapse|
:*2022 - 1 import
:*2021 - 16 imports
:*2020 - 2 imports
:*2019 - 98 imports
:*2018 - no imports
:*2017 - no imports
:*2016 - 1 import
:*2015 - no imports
:*2014 - no imports
:*2013 - no imports
:*2012 - no imports
:*2011 - 16 imports
:*2010 - no imports
:*2009 - no imports
:*2008 - 37 imports}}
:There are also some parts of this proposal that seem bizarre and poorly thought out to me - e.g. why are you including autoconfirmed in this group? Anyone with this right should already be autoconfirmed - this isn't something that should be given to newbies. History merging is quite possibly the most dangerous user right on the site, and should not be given to anyone except admins who have the technical ability to fix any messes it creates. In what situations is the &quot;delete-redirect&quot; right going to be useful - pages don't need to have the exact same name on all wikis, and if there's an existing template redirect in the way importing a new template over the top of it could cause a disaster. &quot;Supress redirect&quot; seems to be unrelated to the act of actually importing pages and seems to have been chucked in so you can history merge stuff? Wikiquote also already has the unused [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=import importer] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=transwiki transwiki importers] user groups, which seem to do exactly what you're already asking for.
:I don't know if wikiquote allows IP votes in policy decisions, but I would '''Oppose''' this proposal on the basis that the import functionality is so rarely used that the current workload can easily be handled by existing admins, this particular proposal seems to be poorly thought out and bundles a load of rights together that are, at best, tangentially related to importing pages, and that user groups to allow users to import pages already exist. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 20:09, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::# Autoconfirmed is a basic right.
::# How is history merging the most dangerous???
::# Delete-redirect is '''required''' for this to be done properly '''most''' of the time.
::::* Because it is needed if new revisions are added to the page that the revisions are being imported from.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:18, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::Also, '''please''' read the banner at the top. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:19, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|192.76.8.85}} Does this count as a vote or comment. (I am assuming a vote for the timebeing) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:25, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I don't know why you're directing me to read your idiotically large, obnoxious banner (made extra large and obnoxious in response to my comment!) and to ask you for technical explanations when your responses here are utter nonsense and demonstrate that you don't actually understand what you're proposing.
:::*''Autoconfirmed is a basic right.'' - yes, which is why it is utterly pointless to bundle it into an advanced user right supposed to be given to trusted members of the community.  Everyone who is granted the import right will already be autoconfirmed. There is no point giving them the right again, it makes as much sense as giving the &lt;code&gt;edit&lt;/code&gt; right to admins.
:::*''How is history merging the most dangerous???'' - because it can easily make an enormous mess and it has no &quot;undo&quot; functionality. If you accidentally merge together two pages with long co-existent history the only way to unmerge them is to delete the page then manually undelete individual revisions one at a time to separate the page histories out again. Fixing a history merge mistake can take literally hours. It is also completely unnecessary for importers to have this right because it is already built into the import function.
:::*''Delete-redirect is required for this to be done properly most of the time. Because it is needed if new revisions are added to the page that the revisions are being imported from.'' - this makes no sense at all, I actually cannot understand what you are trying to say here. The import function can directly add old revisions to an existing page, you just set the import location to the title of the extant page - you don't have to import pages to some other title then merge them together afterwards.
:::You can consider this to be a vote. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 20:50, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::* History merge '''is''' necessary for the follow reason:
::::** Let’s say that Person 1 ''manually'' imports Page 1 to Page 2, then Person 2 (who is an importer) wants to properly import the revisions, but in between these two events Person 3 has modified Page 1, this would cause the import to fail. So what the importer would do is:
::::**# Import the original page to Page 3.
::::**# Merge all revisions in Page 3 (before Person 1 copied Page 1 to Page 2) into Page 2.
::::**# Redirect Page 2 to Page 3.
::::**# Merge all revisions before the redirect in Page 2 into Page 3.
::::**# Use &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; to delete Page 2.
::::**# Use &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; to move Page 3 to Page 2.
::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:59, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::This doesn't make any kind of sense. You import the page with it's whole history, split the history via the history merge function (?), then combine the history back together, then delete the mess of pages you created? What you would end up with if you followed those instructions is page 3 with the entire edition history of persons 1 2 and 3 included?
:::::Again, this work flow is complete and utter nonsense. If you want to perform an import and merge revisions into existing page then you just have to tell the import tool to include history information, and the merge will be done for you. If you just want to import the revisions from before the history fork then make an XML dump of the revisions you want and import that. There is no need at all for this histmerge and redirect mess.
:::::Fundamentally though fixing history forking issues is not a job for page importers - it is a job for administrators who have access to the proper page deletion, undeletion and history toolbox. It makes no sense to give users some administrative tools to allow them to, via a unnecessarily convoluted methods, fix an issue that has never actually occurred to date. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:33, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I have this issue very often, that's why I proposed it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:36, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|Koavf}} Is history merge very dangerous? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:43, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::What &quot;issue&quot; are you actually having, because &quot;import revisions from another wiki and merge them into an existing page&quot; is functionality that the import tool already has - you don't need all the extra user rights to do it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::I meant merging within a wiki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:47, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::&quot;merging within a wiki&quot; is not a part of any sensible workflow for importing pages. User rights should be set up as groups of related rights that multiple people should find useful, that have similar access requirements, and generally the ability to do an action should be bundled with the ability to undo it. Creating a user group isn't an opportunity to put together a &quot;grab bag&quot; of rights that you personally think you would like. An &quot;importer&quot; right should just contain the stuff needed to import pages, i.e. &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt;. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:57, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::That why is called &quot;'''revision''' importer&quot; and not just &quot;importer&quot;. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:58, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::And what is the supposed difference between this &quot;revision importer&quot; and the regular &quot;importer&quot; right? You can already import revisions and add them to the history of pages using the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; rights. To me this looks like a combination of you not actually knowing what the import right does, a bunch of utterly bizarre suggestions (like the bundled autoconfirmed right) and you trying to make your own personal user group with just the stuff you want in it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 22:03, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::Maybe &quot;revision editor&quot; or &quot;revision manager&quot; would be a more accurate title? Also, this isn't just for me. If it was, it would also include many other rights (e.g. rollback, templateeditor). – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:06, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::We already have a user group that allows certain people to edit page histories, they're called &quot;administrators&quot;. I do not think a user group which allows editors to screw up page histories but does not include the tools to fix them is a good idea. ''this isn't just for me.'' seems to be in direct contradiction to your statement below that the big issue with the existing importer groups is that ''Neither of which fully covers my needs.'' which is it - a general &quot;importer&quot; group for everyone, or a user group specifically tailored to what you want to do. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:41, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::A revision editor would be for '''revisions''', not general administrative rights. Revisions editing includes imports. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:42, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::What is the difference between &quot;general administrative rights&quot; and &quot;revision&quot; rights. They are, as far as I can tell, the same thing. Pages on wikis are nothing but a string of revisions, how is messing around with revisions a distinct operation from messing around with pages? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:50, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::I didn’t say it ''was'' used very often, I said it ''would'' be used very often, '''if implemented'''. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:15, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*I got pinged here from enwiki: enwikiquote already has local admins which have transwiki access, and if there is a good reason this community needs xmlimports the &quot;importer&quot; group could also be added via the existing group process. xmlimport can be &quot;dangerous&quot; so I'd suggest that you not add it to anyone that wouldn't otherwise qualify as an interface admin here. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:25, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:{{ping|Xaosflux}} This would only be given to users who are '''at least''' as trustworthy as interface admins. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:29, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::{{ping|Xaosflux}} Also, could you ask me more questions, so you could come to a final decision? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:31, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::I don't really consider myself part of the enwikiquote community - the primary governance of permissions for this project belongs to them. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:36, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::{{ping|Xaosflux}} Please, very few regulars here actually vote in these. Outside feedback would be very helpful. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:38, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:wikiquote already has [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=import importer] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=transwiki transwiki importer] groups, but they're not currently used. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:35, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::Neither of which fully covers my needs. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:37, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
{{discussion-closed-bottom}}

== Reverse-protection cross-(wiki?) RfC (phab) ==

What is your opinion on [[phab:T312835|this]] feature request? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:45, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== QOTD emergency ==

{{:WQT:PAA|hide=false}} QOTD is missing! {{done}} by Kalki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:22, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
: I just posted it a couple minutes ago — it is certainly NOT any extraordinary emergency. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:25, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Kalki}} Was already marking as fixed while you were leaving your comment. In-fact a got an edit conflict message. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:27, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{redlink|Redlinks}} on the front page are a pretty big deal. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:07, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} Absolutely agreed. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:38, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, please stop pinging all administrators. If there is genuinely an emergency like this that needs an admin, please make your way to [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Notice about the revision importer proposal ==

Originally it was planned to be a discussion only for feedback and improvement, and not a vote since it was nowhere near done. But it accidentally turned into a vote, and as such, failed, as I could provide sufficient information about purpose or how it would work. I will be closing it shortly. I will start a new only for feedback and not voting, after I think it is sufficiently done, I will start a new vote. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:54, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Feedback on proposal for new user right ==

{{Notice box|text='''This is not a vote,''' this is simply a discussion related to improving and fixing potential issues with this proposal, users who oppose this may provide feedback on how to make it less unappealing to them, but if you are entirely against it and have no constructive feedback to offer, '''do not comment here.'''&lt;br&gt;&lt;big&gt;You may also ask questions here, '''regardless of what you think of the proposal.'''&lt;/big&gt;}}

This is a proposal for a 'revision importer' right, this would be primarily used for cross-wiki importing, though it will also be used for other purposes.

This is needed because a lot of pages and templates that exist on other wikis do not exist here. Also, this can also be used for importing lost pages from dead wikis. (e.g. simple English Wikiquote)

This right would be appointed by bureaucrats.

Here are the user rights it is planned to contain so far:

{{:User:Ilovemydoodle/proposal/usergroups/revision importer}}

Here are the reasons for each right:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; — Self-explanatory.
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; — Self-explanatory. Also helpful for mass-importing pages and in cases where revisions need to manually be modified.
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — This is needed if a template that has been imported, has been updated on another wiki.
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; — If an imported page is on the title blacklist.
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; — Potential rate limit issues. (this might not be neccessary)
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Similar to &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Same as &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; — Security reasons as with other rights.

=== Examples ===

Here are some examples where this right would preform better than regular importers or administrators.

==== 1 ====

Let’s say that Person 1 ''manually'' imports Page 1 to Page 2, then Person 2 (who is a revision importer) wants to properly import the revisions, but in between these two events, Person 3 has modified Page 1, this would mean that if it was imported traditionally it would either fail, or would appear to succeed, but all revisions in-between wouldn't be valid for this wiki. (e.g. if a template has to have all mentions of 'Wikipedia' changed to 'Wikiquote', this is pretty obvious, but you could imagine more subtle issues). Then, if someone didn't like certain changes that were made, and rolled-back to an earlier revision, the new versiom wouldn't be valid for this wiki. With this type of importing, the revision import could manually edit the revisions before importing, so all revision would be valid. This could be done via the following process: 

# Import the original page (from the other wiki) to Page 3.
# Merge all revisions in Page 3 (before Person 1 copied Page 1 to Page 2) into Page 2.
# Redirect Page 2 to Page 3.
# Merge all revisions before the redirect in Page 2 into Page 3.
# Use &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; to delete Page 2.
# Use &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; to move Page 3 to Page 2.

=== Comments ===

– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:07, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|AC9016|Nihonjoe|Antandrus|Koavf|Stang|ShakespeareFan00|Rubbish computer|Dave Braunschweig|Atcovi|Ottawahitech}} Thoughts? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:29, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

Why are you wasting everyone's time by repeating the exact same discussion as above which will lead to the exact same conclusion? This is an terrible idea for a user group - it is completely redundant to the existing &quot;import&quot; group, contains a load of disjointed and disconnected rights that have no business being bundled together and per the discussion above the proposer is unable to justify why this group should exist or what purpose it is supposed to serve. Going through the list of rights:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; — Not enabled anywhere for any user group, even stewards. Has the ability to crash medium to large wikis, so the devs are unlikely to approve enabling. The proposer doesn't appear to understand what this does, it has nothing to do with templates, it's intended for content pages, when you export a page with this setting enabled it also exports all linked pages, and all pages linked to those pages and so on until you hit the depth limit.
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, Import can already merge page histories, extremely dangerous and can easily make a huge mess, should remain restricted to administrators.
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded. Not a frequently occurring issue, if a title is deemed unsuitable by the blacklist it can just be imported to a different title, pages don't need to have the same name everywhere.
* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, no-one should be importing pages so quickly they hit the rate limit.
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded - everyone even being considered for import user rights should be autoconfirmed.
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, not related to importing pages, only included because the proposer apparently doesn't understand how importing pages works.
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, not related to importing pages, only included because the proposer apparently doesn't understand how importing pages works.
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
The &quot;proposed&quot; user rights are not possible to implement (the database doesn't track which revisions have been imported) would not get past wmf legal (you cannot view any kind of deleted content without passing an RFA or equivalent process) and duplicate existing admin functionality.

My opinion is that the proposer here does not understand what they are proposing, how user rights work, how importing work and has no idea what this user group is supposed to be used for. I am unimpressed that rather than answering the question &quot;what is this supposed to be used for and how is it different from importer/administrator rights&quot; they have decided to shut down the discussion above and start another one on exactly the same thing. I am even more unimpressed that they have left another &quot;notice&quot; telling people that unless they are coming here to tell them how amazing their idea is they are unwelcome to comment. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:54, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''This is not a vote,''' please read the header. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:55, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::Can you please point out where I voted? '''Please read my comment'''. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:56, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::&lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; — This might a problem, I will look into this. Thanks for the feedback.
:::&lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::&lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; Not frequent, but if you are importing a lot of pages, this could be an issue.
:::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Specific cases (e.g. second account, changing accounts, bots, etc.), also there is no harm to adding this right.
:::&lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::&lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:03, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::You haven't &quot;explained &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt;. You've posted a completely ridiculous workflow which would involve using them to do something the import right can already do.
::::Why would &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; be useful? What kinds of pages are you intending to import where the title would be so terrible it would hit an entry on the blacklist.
::::&lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; you clearly do not understand what this does, I'll give you a clue, it has nothing to do with the &quot;amount of data&quot; that you're sending to the server. Another clue, import actions aren't even rate limited.
::::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; why on earth would you include a user right that the person already has? It's a complete waste of time. If for some reason you need to import pages using a brand new alt account why couldn't you do the normal thing, and assign the user the &quot;confirmed&quot; user rights?
::::You still haven't answered the fundamental question - what is this right supposed to do that the &quot;import&quot; right can't already do, and why do you need all these extra user rights to re-implement functionality that already exists. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 02:16, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::How do you ''modify'' a revision with regular import? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:22, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::You can use the &quot;import from a file&quot; option and edit the XML before you upload it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:05, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::...which would require the removal and replacement of the existing revisions. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:09, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Why would you be replacing revisions with things that didn't actually exist? The whole point of the page history is to serve as the legally required record of who contributed what content to a page - there is no situation whatsoever where it would be appropriate to replace actual revisions with stuff you made up. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:12, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Please see example 1. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:13, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::example 1 is a completely ridiculous workflow that only demonstrates that you don't actually understand how anything works. Even so, at what stage of example 1 do you need to make up revisions that don't actually exist? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::Anywhere between 2 and 4. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:21, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:This user right would '''not''' allow a user to view deleted content. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:12, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::The &lt;code&gt;view-deleted-imported-revision&lt;/code&gt; would fall afoul of [[meta:Limits to configuration changes]], specifically ''Allow non-admins to view deleted stuff''. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 02:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::It would only allow the viewing of content deleted using this right, which would be stored separately to admin-deleted content. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Again, you don't appear to understand how anything actually works. Mediawiki doesn't store deleted revisions separately, they're in the main revision table but flagged as deleted. Non-admins are banned from viewing deleted content, it doesn't matter how it was deleted or what user right was involved. This is a hard limit by the WMF legal department and cannot be overturned via feature requests or consensus. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:08, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::There is a way of storing it separately. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:09, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Not in the current version of Mediawiki there isn't. Even suppressed material is stored in the main revision table with the &lt;code&gt;DELETED_RESTRICTED&lt;/code&gt; flag set. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::It would be stored in the main archive table, it would be differentiated using the unused field &lt;code&gt;ar_flags&lt;/code&gt; – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:20, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Do you think more should be addressed in this proposal? If so, what? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:50, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::No. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:37, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|Koavf}} Sorry, I just realized this now, I meant to say &quot;more questions addressed&quot;. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:53, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Not really. I just think this is your proposal. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:24, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Do you support it so far? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:25, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|koavf}} Also, what do you think the requirements to get this right should be? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:29, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Just asking for them and the community voting, just like with other rights. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:46, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I don't object, but I don't have strong feelings on it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:47, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

I'm not a frequent contributor to Wikiquote, but I was asked to comment. I don't see a problem with the overall proposal if it meets a community need. However, I would not include &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt;. There's almost no legitimate reason for a human being to trigger that limit. Save that right for bots. -- [[User:Dave Braunschweig|Dave Braunschweig]] ([[User talk:Dave Braunschweig|talk]]) 16:58, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:06, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
*First of all, you should not have started another discussion. It was going fine and people were still giving their opinions on it. In fact there was a point I wanted to respond to you on but couldn't because you closed the discussion. Secondly, seeing as 50% of people opposed, and only 30% supported, I'm just curious why you are still trying to push this idea and encouraging others to not oppose it despite quite a clear result voting-wise but also consensus-wise that the community doesn't want this. And I'm especially concerned about how you have closed another discussion and opened another one where apparently if you are entirely against the proposal, you are not allowed to comment. This makes it harder to find the community consensus that seemed to quite clearly be &quot;we don't want this.&quot; --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:42, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:The main issue provided was that there wasn’t any reason to do this (because I did not include one in the original vote), so I am trying to redo this in a better way. Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:44, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::You could have always edited the reason in the original discussion, and that would have had the benefit of not freezing the discussion for everyone else who participated... --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:50, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::Well, I am redoing the ''whole'' proposal, so most of those votes won't matter anymore. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:53, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::It seems like the proposal is very similar to the one you just suggested. Just because ''you'' don't think those &quot;votes&quot; don't matter anymore doesn't mean you should move to a completely different discussion on the exact same topic, with some bizarre restrictions on what I should comment and what I should not. I see no reason for you to have opened another discussion and am considering merging it so the community are more aware about what your plans are. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:46, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::::The original vote was poorly conceived, this is my second attempt, please don't associate this with the original. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:50, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::::Sorry but I see no reason to not associate this with the original proposal. Yes, there are a couple of changes based on feedback, however your proposal is essentially the same, but instead, you have decided to discourage people opposed to it from commenting. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 09:13, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
*Ok seeing as my opinion is clear at this point - that giving importer to non-admins is generally a bad idea - let's focus on the problems with this proposal. Autoconfirmed is unnecessary. It shouldn't affect rate limit, for autoconfirmed users. Merge history is not needed, although I'm unsure if this is included within importer - you can just import the page again, or update it manually for situations where it's updated on one wiki but not another - which is rare. tboverride - not sure when an imported page would ever be on the title blacklist? Overall, seems as though even more unnecessary admin-level tools are going into a right where not as much trust is necessary. If a person needs this many rights, why not get admin?? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:40, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== Sorry ==

For leaving feedback requests on far too many user pages, I have stopped, and will only ask users that are actually interested, and can help. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Movement Strategy and Governance News - Issue 7 ==

&lt;div style = &quot;line-height: 1.2&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:200%;&quot;&gt;'''Movement Strategy and Governance News'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:120%; color:#404040;&quot;&gt;'''Issue 7, July-September 2022'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:120%; float:right;&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7|'''Read the full newsletter''']]&lt;/span&gt; 
----
Welcome to the 7th issue of Movement Strategy and Governance News! The newsletter distributes relevant news and events about the implementation of Wikimedia's [[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy/Initiatives|Movement Strategy recommendations]], other relevant topics regarding Movement governance, as well as different projects and activities supported by the Movement Strategy and Governance (MSG) team of the Wikimedia Foundation.  

The MSG Newsletter is delivered quarterly, while the more frequent [[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy/Updates|Movement Strategy Weekly]] will be delivered weekly. Please remember to subscribe [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Global message delivery/Targets/MSG Newsletter Subscription|here]] if you would like to receive future issues of this newsletter.
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;margin-top:3px; padding:10px 10px 10px 20px; background:#fffff; border:2px solid #808080; border-radius:4px; font-size:100%;&quot;&gt; 

* '''Movement sustainability''': Wikimedia Foundation's annual sustainability report has been published. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A1&lt;/tvar&gt;|continue reading]])
* '''Improving user experience''': recent improvements on the desktop interface for Wikimedia projects. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A2|continue reading]])
* '''Safety and inclusion''': updates on the revision process of the Universal Code of Conduct Enforcement Guidelines. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A3|continue reading]])
* '''Equity in decisionmaking''': reports from Hubs pilots conversations, recent progress from the Movement Charter Drafting Committee, and a new white paper for futures of participation in the Wikimedia movement. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A4|continue reading]])
* '''Stakeholders coordination''': launch of a helpdesk for Affiliates and volunteer communities working on content partnership. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A5|continue reading]])
* '''Leadership development''': updates on leadership projects by Wikimedia movement organizers in Brazil and Cape Verde. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A6|continue reading]])
* '''Internal knowledge management''': launch of a new portal for technical documentation and community resources. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A7|continue reading]])
* '''Innovate in free knowledge''': high-quality audiovisual resources for scientific experiments and a new toolkit to record oral transcripts. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A8|continue reading]])
* '''Evaluate, iterate, and adapt''': results from the Equity Landscape project pilot ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A9|continue reading]])
*
'''Other news and updates''': a new forum to discuss Movement Strategy implementation, upcoming Wikimedia Foundation Board of Trustees election, a new podcast to discuss Movement Strategy, and change of personnel for the Foundation's Movement Strategy and Governance team. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A10|continue reading]])

&lt;/div&gt;&lt;section end=&quot;msg-newsletter&quot;/&gt;

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 22:59, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Announcing the six candidates for the Board of Trustees election ==

:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election/Short|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election/Short}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi everyone,

The Affiliate Representatives have completed their voting period. The selected 2022 Board of Trustees candidates are:

* Tobechukwu Precious Friday ([[:m:User:Tochiprecious|Tochiprecious]])
* Farah Jack Mustaklem ([[:m:User:Fjmustak|Fjmustak]])
* Shani Evenstein Sigalov ([[:m:User:Esh77|Esh77]])
* Kunal Mehta ([[:m:User:Legoktm|Legoktm]])
* Michał Buczyński ([[:m:User:Aegis Maelstrom|Aegis Maelstrom]])
* Mike Peel ([[:m:User:Mike Peel|Mike Peel]])

You may see more information about the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Results|Results]] and [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Stats|Statistics]] of this Board election.

The Affiliate organizations selected representatives to vote on behalf of the Affiliate organization. The Affiliate Representatives proposed questions for the candidates to answer in mid-June. These answers from candidates and the information provided from the Analysis Committee provided support for the representatives as they made their decision.

Please take a moment to appreciate the Affiliate Representatives and Analysis Committee members for taking part in this process and helping to grow the Board of Trustees in capacity and diversity. These hours of volunteer work connect us across understanding and perspective. Thank you for your participation.

Thank you to the community members who put themselves forward as candidates for the Board of Trustees. Considering joining the Board of Trustees is no small decision. The time and dedication candidates have shown to this point speaks to their commitment to this movement. Congratulations to those candidates who have been selected. A great amount of appreciation and gratitude for those candidates not selected. Please continue to share your leadership with Wikimedia.

What can voters do now?

[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Results|Review the results of the Affiliate selection process]].

[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election|Read more here about the next steps in the 2022 Board of Trustee election]].

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''&lt;/translate&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;section end=&quot;announcement-content&quot; /&gt;

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 19:35, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== Let's talk about the Desktop Improvements ==

[[File:Vector 2022 showing language menu with a blue menu trigger and blue menu items 01.jpg|thumb]]
Join an online meeting with the team working on the [[mw:Reading/Web/Desktop Improvements|Desktop Improvements]]! It will take place on '''26 July 2022 at [https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?iso=20220726T1200 12:00 UTC] and [https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?iso=20220726T1900 19:00 UTC]''' on Zoom. '''[https://wikimedia.zoom.us/j/5304280674 Click here to join]'''. Meeting ID: 5304280674. [https://wikimedia.zoom.us/u/kc2hamfYz9 Dial by your location].

[[mw:Special:MyLanguage/Reading/Web/Desktop Improvements/Updates/Talk to Web|Read more]]. See you! [[User:SGrabarczuk (WMF)|SGrabarczuk (WMF)]] ([[User talk:SGrabarczuk (WMF)|talk]]) 16:19, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:SGrabarczuk (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:SGrabarczuk_(WMF)/sandbox/MM/En_fallback&amp;oldid=23430301 --&gt;

== Vote for Election Compass Statements ==

:''[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements|You can find this message translated into additional languages on Meta-wiki.]]''
:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi all,

Volunteers in the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] are invited to [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass/Statements|vote for statements to use in the Election Compass]]. You can vote for the statements you would like to see included in the Election Compass on Meta-wiki.

An Election Compass is a tool to help voters select the candidates that best align with their beliefs and views. The community members will propose statements for the candidates to answer using a Lickert scale (agree/neutral/disagree). The candidates’ answers to the statements will be loaded into the Election Compass tool. Voters will use the tool by entering in their answer to the statements (agree/disagree/neutral). The results will show the candidates that best align with the voter’s beliefs and views.

Here is the timeline for the Election Compass:

*&lt;s&gt;July 8 - 20: Volunteers propose statements for the Election Compass&lt;/s&gt;
*&lt;s&gt;July 21 - 22: Elections Committee reviews statements for clarity and removes off-topic statements&lt;/s&gt;
*July 23 - August 3: Volunteers vote on the statements
*August 4: Elections Committee selects the top 15 statements
*August 5 - 12: candidates align themselves with the statements
*August 16: The Election Compass opens for voters to use to help guide their voting decision

The Elections Committee will select the top 15 statements at the beginning of August


Best, 

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 17:20, 26 July 2022 (UTC)

== Names for cleanup categories ==

Hello,

I'm going to start localising a load of imported clean-up templates over the next few weeks, and I wanted some feedback from the community on what terminology to use for the associated categories. Some of these clean-up templates sort main space pages into categories of the form &quot;Articles needing foo&quot;, some of them sort them into categories of the form &quot;Wikiquote pages needing foo&quot; (and some templates have been half-localised and sort them into both!). What is the preferred terminology for these kind of pages? &quot;Article&quot; or &quot;Wikiquote pages&quot;? Just thought I'd get some feedback before editing dozens of templates and making dozens of categories. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:18, 28 July 2022 (UTC)

:Content in the main namespace can be &quot;articles&quot; for sure, especially if that makes it easier. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:04, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:Koavf|Koavf]] Thanks, that's really helpful. I'll make a start localising and cleaning up these templates so they don't sort pages into nonsense like [[:Category:Wikipedia external links cleanup]].
::There's one other template I'd like some feedback on, {{tl|cleanup}}. This template seems to have been hijacked and now does a completley different function to when it was a wikiquote specific one; it used to be for articles that didn't fit into any of the specific cleanup categories, now it's a generic &quot;tag everything&quot; type template. As it stands this template has been copied from the English Wikipedia and has a lot of complexity and features that don't make sense here. As I see it there are a few ways we could move forward with this template:
::# Roll it back to the old, wikiquote specific version
::# Try to localise the current template properly (I'm not keen on this, it is way too complex and has way too much subcategorization for a project of this size).
::# Try to simplify the new template to produce something that works well on this project.
::# Remake the template in the new style, but replicating the functionality of the old clean-up template as much as possible.
::There are also a couple of features of the new style template that I'd like to get some feedback on whether they're actually useful here, to start:
::# The new template asks you to submit a reason when tagging a page for cleanup, is this required on this project and is populating [[:Creating Category:Cleanup tagged articles without a reason field]] useful?
::# Is categorising pages by namespace useful? e.g. sorting pages into &quot;Wikiquote categories needing cleanup&quot;, &quot;Wikiquote templates needing cleanup&quot;, &quot;Wikiquote Articles needing cleanup&quot; etc? My gut feeling is no, given that there are less than 100 pages tagged in total.
::As you might be able to tell I'm a bit lost when it comes to figuring out what to do with {{tl|cleanup}}. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:43, 30 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I don't think that this project is big or active enough to need to be sorted by namespace with cleanup templates. If you think it's best to revert back to how this template functioned back in April, then I support that. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:56, 31 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Thanks, I'll give it a few days to see if anyone else has any comments, if not I'll revert back to the old version of the template. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 16:43, 1 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::Reverted back to the old version since no objections were raised. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 15:14, 6 August 2022 (UTC)

== Decorative quotation templates ==

What is the community's opinion on decorative quotation templates like [[Template:Blockquote]]? The [[Wikiquote:Manual of style|manual of style]] and [[Wikiquote:Guide to layout|guide to layout]] says that articles should be composed of plain bulleted lists, but these templates have been added to a few places, e.g. [[Jill Biden]]. Should they be removed, or should the manual of style be updated to allow them? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 15:46, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
:I am not a fan. I see it as a similar discussion regarding the bolding of quotes. To me the different ways of presenting quotes is a bit jarring and there does nto seem to be any criteria used for which quotes use this alternate style. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 16:26, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
* It's useful on other projects. But it's a little like having a specially formatted box on Wikipedia for prose. Uh...prose is kindof the main point of the project. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 16:39, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
*I am also not a fan - I'd prefer as little markup as possible in our pages, since I think markup is off-putting for newbies. Text only is good. I personally tend to be a minimalist on such stuff. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 18:46, 3 August 2022 (UTC)

== If you love somebody, let them go ==

&quot;If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.&quot;&lt;br style=&quot;margin-bottom:0.5em&quot;/&gt;Seems attributed to [[Kahlil Gibran]] by random image search results. A similar variant &quot;If you love something, let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever.&quot; is attributed to [[w:en:Douglas Horton]] by [http://www.quotehd.com/quotes/douglas-horton-clergyman-if-you-love-something-let-it-go-free-if-it-doesnt-come-back another random image search result]. Is either of these correct? If not, perhaps the misattribution could be mentioned on [[Kahlil Gibran]]? &lt;span id=&quot;Alexis_Jazz:1659594815083:WikiquoteBWLCLNVillage_pump&quot; class=&quot;BawlCmt&quot;&gt;[[User:Alexis Jazz|Alexis Jazz]] ([[User talk:Alexis Jazz|talk]]) 06:33, 4 August 2022 (UTC)&lt;/span&gt;

== Any tutorials?  ==

Hi Wikiquote friends, I'm TheAafi, and I mostly contribute on English Wikipedia. I happen to be founder of [[:m:Deoband Community Wikimedia|Deoband Community Wikimedia]], a recognized Wikimedia user group affiliate. I recently organized a series of events to bring attention of DCW volunteers to Wikiquote (see: [[:m:Deoband Community Wikimedia/Events/Wikiquote Delhi August 2022|this page for details]]). Is there any training material already available that I could utilize for this purpose. If not, DCW would be like to aid in this necessary endeavor. Regards, ─ [[User:TheAafi|&lt;span style=&quot;color:SteelBlue&quot;&gt;The Aafī&lt;/span&gt;]] &lt;sup&gt;[[User talk:TheAafi|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#80A0FF&quot;&gt;&lt;sup&gt;(talk)&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/sup&gt; 13:14, 11 August 2022 (UTC)

== Delay of the 2022 Wikimedia Foundation Board of Trustees election ==

Hi all,

I am reaching out to you today with an update about the timing of the voting for the Board of Trustees election.

As many of you are already aware, this year we are offering an [[metawiki:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass|Election Compass]] to help voters identify the alignment of candidates on some key topics. Several candidates requested an extension of the character limitation on their responses expanding on their positions, and the Elections Committee felt their reasoning was consistent with the goals of a fair and equitable election process.

To ensure that the longer statements can be translated in time for the election, the Elections Committee and Board Selection Task Force decided to delay the opening of the Board of Trustees election by one week - a time proposed as ideal by staff working to support the election.

Although it is not expected that everyone will want to use the Election Compass to inform their voting decision, the Elections Committee felt it was more appropriate to open the voting period with essential translations for community members across languages to use if they wish to make this important decision.

The voting will open on August 23 at 00:00 UTC and close on September 6 at 23:59 UTC.

Please find this message translated in additional languages [[m:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Delay of Board of Trustees election|here]].

Best regards,

On behalf of the Elections Committee

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 09:23, 16 August 2022 (UTC)

== Invitation to join Movement Strategy Forum ==

Hello everyone,

The [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/ Movement Strategy Forum] (MS Forum) is a multilingual collaborative space for all conversations about Movement Strategy implementation. It provides a great opportunity to share your Movement Strategy(MS) work, find collaborators, and get even more support and ideas for your MS projects. We are inviting all Movement participants to collaborate on the MS Forum. The goal of the forum is to build community collaboration using an inclusive multilingual platform. 

The [[metawiki:Movement Strategy|Movement Strategy]] is a collaborative effort to imagine and build the future of the Wikimedia Movement. Anyone can contribute to the Movement Strategy, from a comment to a full-time project. 

Join this forum with your Wikimedia account, say hi [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/t/say-hello/79 here] and go ahead and join or start a conversation on the recommendation you are most passionate about! Feel free to discuss your MS project ideas and plans or even reports from MS projects you have worked on.  To get started, you can also watch [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/t/a-walk-through-the-movement-strategy-forum/1431 this video].

The Movement Strategy and Governance team (MSG) launched the proposal for this MS Forum in May. After a 2-month review period, we have just published the [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/t/ms-forum-community-review-report/1436 Community Review Report]. It includes a summary of the discussions, metrics, and information about the next steps.

We look forward to seeing you at the MS Forum! 

Best regards,

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 09:40, 19 August 2022 (UTC)

== The 2022 Board of Trustees Election Community Voting period is now open  ==

:''[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/The 2022 Board of Trustees election Community Voting period is now open|You can find this message translated into additional languages on Meta-wiki.]]''
:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/The 2022 Board of Trustees election Community Voting period is now open|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/The 2022 Board of Trustees election Community Voting period is now open}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi everyone,

The Community Voting period for the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] is now open. Here are some helpful links to get you the information you need to vote:

*  Try the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass|Election Compass]], showing how candidates stand on 15 different topics.
* [[m:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Campaign Videos|Watch the candidate videos]] or read the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Candidates|candidate statements]] and [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Affiliate_Organization_Participation/Candidate_Questions|answers to Affiliate questions]]
* [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Apply to be a Candidate|Learn more about the skills the Board seeks]] and how the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Candidates|Analysis Committee found candidates align with those skills]]

If you are ready to vote, you may go to [[Special:SecurePoll/vote/Wikimedia_Foundation_Board_Elections_2022|SecurePoll voting page]] to vote now. '''You may vote from August 23 at 00:00 UTC to September 6 at 23:59 UTC.''' To see about your voter eligibility, please visit the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Voter_eligibility_guidelines|voter eligibility page]].

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 21:12, 23 August 2022 (UTC)

== RevDel policy ==

Revision deletion has been used 278 times this year and 86 times across the whole of 2021... so, it's clear revision deletion on this wiki is becoming more used and fast. I think it's only right with increasing RevDel use to have a RevDel policy. While admins have RevDel reasons they can give when deleting a revision from public view, some are broad. These options are the following:
*Copyright violation
*Inappropriate comment
*Inappropriate username
*Potentially libelous information
*Personal information

A few personal comments about this:
#Inappropriate comment specifically is extremely broad. What does an inappropriate comment mean? Would calling someone stupid be eligible under this option? Or would the comment have to be more disruptive? Note that revision deletion was not created to deal with &quot;ordinary&quot; incivility.
#Potentially libelous information and Personal information should ''not'' be openly dealt with by admins, to avoid the [[Streisand effect]], and should instead be dealt with by oversighters. We currently do not have any local oversighters, so we contact stewards privately if oversight is needed here. These two options shouldn't be part of a RevDel policy, in my opinion.
#Regardless of policy, options that should be used for oversight should be separated from common delete options to avoid extra attention.

I have a few ideas for future RevDel options, and if there's a consensus for them, these should be noted down on a Wikiquote: page as a policy, potentially as an addition to [[Wikiquote:Deletion policy]] or by creating [[Wikiquote:Revision deletion policy]], also depending on the community's preference. These options can be changed on [[MediaWiki:Revdelete-reason-dropdown]].

I would appreciate anyone's opinions for these ideas, that are inspired by enwiki's [[w:Wikipedia:Revision deletion|revision deletion policy]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

=== RD1: Blatant violations of the copyright policy ===
This would be fairly basic, a replacement to our current option &quot;Copyright violation&quot;. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
==== Comments ====
* {{support}} Sensible and it helps keep this a free culture community. While very unlikely, it also shields us from legal risk. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:49, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

=== RD2: Grossly insulting, degrading, or offensive material ===
A diff that has little to no project value whatsoever - for example, slurs, smears and grossly inappropriate material that has no project value, but not &quot;ordinary&quot; incivility, personal attacks or conduct accusations. If a page has a grossly improper title, the page title can be deleted in the creation and deletion logs too. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

==== Comments ====
* {{support}} Per [[:w:en:WP:DENY]]. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:53, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

=== RD3: Purely disruptive material ===
Purely disruptive material that does not help the project at all - for example, harassment, grossly inappropriate threats or attacks, malicious HTML or CSS, shock pages, phishing or virus pages, or web pages that disparage or threaten someone and serve no valid purpose. Spam links are not covered under this policy. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

==== Comments ====
* {{support}} This adds no value and actually detracts, so deny it as well. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:54, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

=== Other RevDel ideas? ===
Any other ideas for a RevDel policy can be put as another section with ===, above this one. Thanks for your input and help. -- [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

:Re: oversighters, we can go ahead and delete inappropriate material ASAP and then ''also'' ask for an office action to remove it entirely from the database, so that even admins can't view it. Removing the material shouldn't be gated by complete deletion. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:55, 27 August 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>bh4sg9dg1ei8c9xexk0zl0utfyqdmty</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158638</id>
      <parentid>3158637</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T17:55:46Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Koavf</username>
        <id>6765</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* RevDel policy */ Unique headers</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="108035" xml:space="preserve">__NEWSECTIONLINK__
{{Wikiquote:Village pump/Header}}

== Help needed ==

Originally when GRP create the ED page I forgot about it, now he's doing it again, could someone help get it deleted? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:51, 1 July 2022 (UTC)

:The harder you try, the more likely it is to remain, and the more people will want to look at it. It's like that old fable of trying to catch your breath by running after it.
:My advice: let it go. Let it go. Let - it - go. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 17:40, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Antandrus}} {{done}} will do that, thanks for the advice. Also, I got a message from them as well, [https://encyclopediadramatica.online/User:MarioMario456/talk3 here]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:34, 2 July 2022 (UTC)

== Results of Wiki Loves Folklore 2022 is out! ==

&lt;div lang=&quot;en&quot; dir=&quot;ltr&quot; class=&quot;mw-content-ltr&quot;&gt;
{{int:please-translate}}
[[File:Wiki Loves Folklore Logo.svg|right|150px|frameless]]

Hi, Greetings

The winners for '''[[c:Commons:Wiki Loves Folklore 2022|Wiki Loves Folklore 2022]]''' is announced!

We are happy to share with you winning images for this year's edition. This year saw over 8,584 images represented on commons in over 92 countries. Kindly see images '''[[:c:Commons:Wiki Loves Folklore 2022/Winners|here]]'''

Our profound gratitude to all the people who participated and organized local contests and photo walks for this project.

We hope to have you contribute to the campaign next year.

'''Thank you,'''

'''Wiki Loves Folklore International Team'''

--[[User:MediaWiki message delivery|MediaWiki message delivery]] ([[User talk:MediaWiki message delivery|talk]]) 16:12, 4 July 2022 (UTC)

&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Tiven2240@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Distribution_list/Non-Technical_Village_Pumps_distribution_list&amp;oldid=23454230 --&gt;

== QOTD ==

&lt;span style=&quot;position: absolute; {{#ifeq:{{{hide}}}|false||{{#ifeq:{{{hide}}}|no||visibility: hidden;}}}}&quot;&gt;@[[User:Aphaia]] @[[User:BD2412]] @[[User:DannyS712]] @[[User:Ferien]] @[[User:GreenMeansGo]] @[[User:Illegitimate Barrister]] @[[User:Jusjih]] @[[User:Kalki]] @[[User:Koavf]] @[[User:Mdd]] @[[User:Miszatomic]] @[[User:Ningauble]] @[[User:Pmlineditor]] @[[User:UDScott]] @[[User:Ilovemydoodle]]&lt;/span&gt; The Main Page is missing a QOTD! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:30, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

:Nice find. I made a redirect for the time being. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:32, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Wow! That was fast. Also, surprised that managed to slip through. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:47, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Also, did you get pinged? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:48, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::did and got an email in my inbox. Thanks! —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:49, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|koavf}} Why did you get an email? (I didn't send one) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:02, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::[[Special:Preferences#mw-prefsection-watchlist]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:26, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|Koavf}} Huh? I don't see an email option there. Also, could you please deal with the massive backlog over at [[WQ:VIP]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:36, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::My bad: [[Special:Preferences#mw-prefsection-echo]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:40, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:Could you not ping all the admins in your message? This left me rather confused as there was no visible ping and I wasn't involved. If something needs urgent admin attention, please go to [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:18, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:: +1. Please do not ping multitudes of people at once, and please do not ''hide'' invisible pings so nobody can see what is going on. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 20:15, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Abuse Filter feedback ==

What are you thoughts on [[User talk:Koavf#Abuse Filter|my proposed additions to the Abuse Filter]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:44, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|Koavf|Ferien|Antandrus|UDScott}} Thoughts? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:21, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::I've edited the abuse filter before, but I'm not a whiz at it. Note that blocking edits outright based on some of these filters would certainly disrupt standard editing. I feel like this is probably not the best way to stop vandalism and would want to get more consensus from the community. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:28, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Which in particular concern you? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:40, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::I could easily see someone writing &quot;globally blocked&quot; and tripping an abuse filter tag or your username for that matter. Of course, some settings in the abuse filter will completely block an edit from happening and others will just log that it occurred, but either way is not desirable: stopping legitimate edits is bad and a log that is full of false positives is bad. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:42, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} In my request it says that &quot;globally blocked&quot; would only trip it if it was in that specific capitalization (all letters capitalized). – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:50, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::But also &quot;globally blocked lta&quot; (any capitalization) and &quot;et al&quot;? Those are totally valid words that could be used. Also, as I recall, the edit filter takes a toll for computing on the backend, so it's best to not have many edit filter entries. I could be wrong about that, tho. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:03, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Well it says that it is only applies non-auto confirmed, so not that big of a deal. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:24, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I could easily imagine a not auto-confirmed user writing &quot;et al&quot;. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:26, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|koavf}} {{done|Fixed}}&amp;nbsp; Any others remaining that you are still concerned about? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:29, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::thx/thanx would probably be it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:41, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{ping|koavf}} {{done|Fixed}}&amp;nbsp; Any more? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:52, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::I don't think so. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:02, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{ping|koavf}} So, do you support now? And can you add it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:05, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::This still needs consensus and I believe that the edit filter has a kind of high toll, so I'm still on the fence. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:07, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::{{ping|koavf}} High toll in terms of what? Also, (roughly) how many for votes for a consensus for something like this? 1? 2? 3? 5? 10? 100? The entire population of the United States?{{humor inline}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:09, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::Sorry that I was unclear: I've had a hard time sleeping. What I mean is that, in my recollection, the filter needs to do a lot of computing work, since it needs to review the contents of every edit in real time, so adding a lot of filter rules is advised against. I could be wrong, again, I'm not an edit filter whiz, but I have edited it a little on a couple of projects. Plus, as I called out before, there's a kind of human toll where you may end up with false positives or blocking edits that are valid and that takes manual oversight, so it's hard to know exactly what ruels will result in the most efficient use of time. As for how many are needed for consensus, I don't have a hard number in mind, but I would like to leave this open for a few weeks and I hope get a few others giving feedback, since I'm not terribly confident about my skills with the filter. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I'm failing to see the point in even adding that to the abuse filter now you have made it public. The reason the abuse filter is private is to make sure LTAs have a hard time trying to edit. Not simply noticing &quot;oh I can't say these words so let me change my behaviour/what I say&quot;. This LTA is always trying to get past the abuse filter and sometimes succeeds. There is a reason this abuse filter is rarely discussed on-wiki. Discussing abuse filters should not be on talk pages, let alone anywhere near the village pump. -[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:54, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass ==

:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi all,

Community members in the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] are invited to [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass|propose statements to use in the Election Compass.]]

An Election Compass is a tool to help voters select the candidates that best align with their beliefs and views. The community members will propose statements for the candidates to answer using a Lickert scale (agree/neutral/disagree). The candidates’ answers to the statements will be loaded into the Election Compass tool. Voters will use the tool by entering in their answer to the statements (agree/disagree/neutral). The results will show the candidates that best align with the voter’s beliefs and views.

Here is the timeline for the Election Compass:

July 8 - 20: Community members propose statements for the Election Compass

July 21 - 22: Elections Committee reviews statements for clarity and removes off-topic statements

July 23 - August 1: Volunteers vote on the statements

August 2 - 4: Elections Committee selects the top 15 statements

August 5 - 12: candidates align themselves with the statements

August 15: The Election Compass opens for voters to use to help guide their voting decision

The Elections Committee will select the top 15 statements at the beginning of August. The Elections Committee will oversee the process, supported by the Movement Strategy and Governance team. MSG will check that the questions are clear, there are no duplicates, no typos, and so on.

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 13:30, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

== Add template editor right ==

Some of the most used templates here are protected so only admins can edit, which is important for stopping vandalism, but, a lot of potential for fixes and improvements within these pages is also lost because of it. So, do you think that a separate template editor right should be added? (I'm not specifically talking about me, and by &quot;improvements&quot; I don't mean radical changes) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:30, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:I'm generally in favor of breaking off some of the admin user rights for individuals who have skills and motivation to do certain technical work (templates, interface admin) without doing things like blocking, protecting pages, deleting, etc. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:21, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:This seems like a good idea to me. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 02:54, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support''' – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support with caveat''' - Does this differ from 'interface editor' on other projects? [[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 14:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} What is 'interface editor'? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 14:47, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::: [[m:Interface_editors]][[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 15:26, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} Yes, very different, 'template editor' only includes the right to edit protected templates. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:28, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*I don't really consider myself much apart of the enwikiq community, but while I'm here just dropping a tech note. &quot;template editor&quot; currently would do nothing, for it to be useful the community would need to decide they want another protection level (normally more stringent than &quot;semiprotected&quot; and less stringent than &quot;protected&quot;); then administrators would need to actual configure this protection level on pages.  The community would need to determine how this new template editing access should be managed (normally it is &quot;by administrators&quot; technically, with varying local policy rules that you would determine), then add this group to editors that you want to be able to edit the pages that are protected at that level.  Most &quot;smaller&quot; (in terms of active editing communities) don't bother with this, the none/semi-protected/fully-protected scheme is sufficient. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:32, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Oppose'''. Per [[Special:ProtectedPages]] There are currently 84 fully protected templates and no fully protected modules on this wiki. I do not think it is a good use of time to set up a user group, assign it to people and pages, create policies about use/abuse/granting/revocation, update everything else that comes along with big changes in user rights (templates, scripts, policy, help pages, interface messages, etc) when this new protection level will probably be used on 30-40 pages and will be probably only be granted to 1 or 2 people, it just seems like a lot of extra bureaucracy for not much benefit. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:27, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::Noting here that only 12 projects have template editor rights enabled, and one of those is the testing wiki. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:50, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''Oppose''' Fundamentally tainted proposal given the proposer's propensity to propose new user groups seemingly for the sake of doing so rather than to fill any actual need. [[User:Pppery|Pppery]] ([[User talk:Pppery|talk]]) 03:10, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Pppery}} I have had many occasions where this right would be useful for me. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:13, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Pppery}} Please see [[w:WP:HYE|WP:HYE]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:21, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Is this really a valid reason to vote against something? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Any reason could be valid, but I don't think this is a very compelling reason for a no and were I closing this conversation, I don't know that I would count this as being very on-topic. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:46, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

== Add revision importer right ==

{{discussion-closed-top|Withdrawn and starting new vote}}
{{center|{{Ombox|image=&amp;nbsp;|text=&lt;h3&gt;Voting results as of July 17, 2022&lt;/h2&gt;{{Election results|alliance1=Support|aspan1=4|atotal4=3|apct1=50%|party1=Support|votes1=2|party2=Strong Support|votes2=0|party3=Weak Support|votes3=1|alliance5=Oppose|aspan5=4|atotal8=5|party5=Oppose|votes5=4|party6=Strong Oppose|votes6=0|party7=Weak Oppose|votes7=1|alliance9=Other|aspan9=4|atotal12=2|vatotal12=0|party9=Neutral|votes9=2|vatotal9=0|party10=Withdrawn/re-submitted/invalid|votes10=0|party11=Comment/question|votes11=0|color1=#20ff20|color2=#008e00|color3=#72ff72|color5=#ff0000|color6=#a80000|color7=#ff6868|color9=yellow|color10=black|color11=#efefef|valid=8|invalid=2}}}}}}

{{ping|koavf}} This is still in very early stages, but here is a proposal for a new user group containing the following rights:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt;
* The ability to self-revoke the right from yourself.
What do you think so far? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:27, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

=== Potential concerns ===

=== Comments ===

:It's not obvious to me why all of these are lumped together and it seems like straight up importer would work, if the community thought it was necessary or a bureaucrat/steward saw fit to give someone the right. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:22, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Well, I am posting this in hopes of getting it approved on phab. Also for the explanations:
::* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; Self-explanatory.
::* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; Self-explanatory.
::* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; Useful for advanced importing.
::* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; For merging older revisions into page that were not originally imported.
::* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; In case the rate limit triggers from sending too much data.
::* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Basic right.
::* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; If a page imported page needs to be moved without redirect.
::* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; Security reasons as with other user groups.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:34, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I'm fine with it. If you file a ticket at [[phab:]], they will want to see more consensus than this before changing the site preferences. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:33, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Thank you! I  needed to post this here to get consensus and to get feedback on possible improvements. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:34, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Also, do you think this right should be granted by stewards or bureaucrats? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:35, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I don't see why this should have to escalate all the way up to stewards. I think the only rights that should be like that are CheckUser and Oversight, but I know that I'm in the minority on that. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:43, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|koavf}} Wait, what rights other than those two require stewards? Also, I do agree with you. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:51, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::E.g. bureaucrats cannot remove any rights other than those that admins can and the bot flag. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 11:17, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support''' – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:12, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
:&lt;s&gt;'''Neutral''' - I don't know that this is really needed, but I'm not as familiar with the way things work here on Wikiquote. Maybe there's a need that isn't covered by the importers user group? Maybe that group should be modified to include these additional rights? I don't know, so I'm neutral on this proposal. [[User:Nihonjoe|Nihonjoe]] ([[User talk:Nihonjoe|talk]]) 22:15, 13 July 2022 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; Changed to oppose.
::'''Oppose''', for several reasons.
::#I think you're going out of your way to harass anyone who is voting against (or in my case, neutral about) your proposal. Your attempts to strike Ferien's vote (or any of the votes of others whose reasons you deem &quot;invalid&quot;) are especially disturbing. How about you let people have opinions that differ from yours, and leave it at that? 
::#The gigantic warning (added and continually made more obnoxious with each edit [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143520 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143522 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143526 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143527 here], and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143528 here] is completely unnecessary and only serves to make you look unhinged.
::#As others have pointed out, you don't seem to fully grasp how the various user rights work, and your proposal contains a lot of unnecessary rights bundled together apparently because you want all of the bundled rights and not because they serve any useful general purpose bundled together as proposed.
::#Going off the last point, you have repeatedly failed to express valid reasons how this would be useful to anyone other than yourself.
::For all these reasons (and probably a few others I forgot while typing this), I don't see any valid need for this new user group. [[User:Nihonjoe|Nihonjoe]] ([[User talk:Nihonjoe|talk]]) 08:34, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Seems okay'''; not really sure why it is needed, but I don't seen any compelling reason for not, so I guess that's a tentative support. Open to persuasion if I am missing something. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 02:53, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Antandrus}} Here is some more information/context:
::&lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; I regularly need to import a lot of templates (including revisions), so this would be nice.
::&lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; Useful for doing the above automatically, mass-importing pages from another wiki, or importing multiple levels deep.
::&lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; Useful for advanced importing.
::&lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; For merging older revisions into page that were not originally imported.
::&lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; If a page/template you are importing contains/is on the blacklist.
::&lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; In case you trigger the rate limit for creating too many pages.
::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Basic right. Also, similar to above.
::&lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; Deleting a page after it has been merged.
::&lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; Same as above.
::&lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; Security reasons as with other user groups.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:06, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Oppose''' Import is quite a dangerous tool. On Simple English Wikipedia we do have the importer right but it is rarely used or given out, mainly because you have to be really trusted to use it. Seeing as import could cause so much damage and that damage isn't really reversible without admin tools, you have to have a very large amount of trust in someone to give them import, and at that point if you can trust them so much to use import properly, why not give admin so they can clear up any mess they might make as well. While this is the general attitude on simplewiki, it applies to any WMF site. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:56, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Ferien}} Yes, it is a powerful tool, but why are you against this? If it is dangerous, we'll just be extra careful when giving out, like any other user right. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:01, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::It's a powerful tool and it's very difficult to reverse mistakes if you are not an admin. If you're not careful, you can import dozens of templates at once that may not be the ones you wanted to import, and you have to fix these pages or call an admin to delete these pages manually. I am also not voting against you as you seem to be implying below, import is already included in admin and so you are suggesting it should be given to non-admins, which I oppose for the reasons above. [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:44, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Ferien}} It already '''is''' given to non-admins on many other wikis. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:50, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, but not on Wikiquote. Just because many other wikis have done it wrong doesn't mean we should do it wrong too. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:10, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|Ferien}}
::::::{{Blockquote|Just because many other wikis have done it wrong}}
::::::I am not sure if this is humorous or not, but, if it isn't: 
::::::: This is a ridiculous comment, just because you don't agree doesn't make it &quot;wrong&quot;. Considering this has been done on dozens of wikis, it is probably a good choice for at-least some wikis. By making this comment, it makes your original vote look like it was made in bad faith.
::::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:23, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, they have done it wrong ''in my opinion''. Your opinion may be different but as I said, I think the same applies for most wikis and unless you are including delete in importer or importer is only added if you have a role like one on some wikis called eliminator which has delete tools and block tools, but not protection, abuse filter etc, I do not think importer on its own is appropriate. That does not make my !vote done in bad faith. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} If you don't think this should be done on ''any'' wiki, make a request on meta, rather than voting here. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:30, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} Since your vote is about generally being against the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; right for non-admins and not specifically about my request, may I please strike it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, not sure why you want to strike my vote, because that is exactly what your request is about. While it doesn't specify non-admins specifically or mention non-admins, that is exactly what you are asking for. Admins already have the import right. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:35, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I never said that importer being given on other wikis should be reversed. That wouldn't be done on meta anyway, it'd be done for individual communities as they decided to add it there. If other wikis feel that's what works for them, then that's fine. I am not really part of many other wikis' community. Only simplewiki, enwikiquote and to some extent metawiki and enwiki. However, what you were suggesting was that we should give non-admins importer on this wiki because it's done on other wikis, and as I disagree with the importer right being separate as a whole, I do not agree with that argument. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:33, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}}
::::::::::{{Blockquote|However, what you were suggesting was that we should give non-admins importer on this wiki because it's done on other wikis, and as I disagree with the importer right being separate as a whole, I do not agree with that argument.}}
::::::::::I am suggesting it should be done &quot;because it is done on other wikis&quot;, I was just pointing that out. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:38, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:03, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I have already read the message. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 08:52, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} Could explain exactly ''why'' you oppose '''''the creation''''' of this right? You have already explained that it is dangerous right, in your opinion, and should be restricted, but why do you not want it created? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:04, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Koavf}} What are your thoughts on this reply? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:17, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Whether we should have importers and who should be importers are two different things. Admins have all these rights and more, so I don't see the problem. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:17, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|ferien|koavf}} {{u|Koavf}}, just what I was thinking! This isn't an RfRI, this is a feature request. While I would like to have it, whether I get should be held in a vote for that, not if should exist at all. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|Koavf}} Can the vote be striken-off as invalid? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::So I assume you're talking about my vote? Is there any reason why it should be struck as invalid? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:40, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::No. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 10:46, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|Kalki}} Could you vote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:42, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:: I do not see any compelling need for creating such a user group, and do see that it could develop complications and problems that would have to be sorted out in often tedious ways. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 20:44, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I also '''oppose''' this - for many of the reasons already articulated above. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:29, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Kalki|UDScott}} Could you be more specific, so I could try to improve/re-submit this? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:08, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|UDScott}} Could you give me some recommendations on how to improve my proposal? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:08, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::It's not a matter of making tweaks to your proposal that will suddenly convince me - I just don't think this is something we want. I would rather see more users become admins if qualified, rather than adding more roles. I also worry about imports being done improperly and causing other issues. Bottom line is that I just don't see the value in doing this, regardless of how the proposal to do so is worded. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:57, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|UDScott}}
::::::{{Blockquote|I also worry about imports being done improperly and causing other issues.}}
::::::Well, I would assume if someone is given, they would know how to import properly. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:02, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::That's quite the logical fallacy you've got going there. Just because someone has garnered enough support to be granted a role in no way means that a process will be performed correctly. Everyone who has been in the admin role has at one time or another made an error - because of a misunderstanding, a lack of technical ability, or simply a mistake. The nomination and approval process that results in one gaining a role does not remove risk of issues. I just don't see the need for this role, especially given the risk involved (and the fact that if errors are made, it is a bit tedious to correct them). I do not support this proposal - I've explained this multiple times, even though I don't believe that I need to justify my lack of support. And a tip, especially as we are in active discussion: there's really no need to continually ping me every time you respond. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:12, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|UDScott}} As {{u|Koavf}} said, &quot;Whether we should have importers and who should be importers are two different things. Admins have all these rights and more, so I don't see the problem.&quot; Wouldn't that also apply to this vote?
::::::::{{Blockquote|And a tip, especially as we are in active discussion: there's really no need to continually ping me every time you respond.}}
::::::::That's usually how a one-to-one discussion works.
::::::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:20, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::I am applying it to this vote - to me the risk is too high for ''any''one to have it when I don't see the need for it. And no, pinging someone and just addressing them in the text of the conversation are two different things. Imagine if we were standing at a door having a discussion. You could easily say my name and make your point - or you could ring the doorbell every time before you speak. One is standard behavior and the other is a bit annoying - see the difference? IMHO, pinging should only be used when you have received no response and wish to gain someone's attention. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::What exactly ''are'' the risks to importing? I understand how it could be used maliciously (e.g. spamming, faking edits, etc.), but I don't see how it could be destructive when used in good faith. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:32, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::I believe Ferien outlined the issues very well above. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:34, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{ping|UDScott}} Well, there already are the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; user rights. I never said what the requirements would be or how strictly it would be given out, only the user rights it would contain and how it would work. Are you against the very idea of non-developers importing? And if so, wouldn't you the rights removed entirely? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:41, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Do you have any suggestions as to how I could improve this proposal? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::I do not. It seems like community consensus is tilting against it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:58, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} Currently the results are: 3 Support, 1 Neutral, 3 Oppose. So, even. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:07, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''oppose''' does not seem needed or useful, extremely sensitive rights --[[User:DannyS712|DannyS712]] ([[User talk:DannyS712|talk]]) 21:51, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|DannyS712}} Please explain further. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:30, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''neutral''' I was aksed to leave feedback, but I rarely edit Wikiquote, how often would this need to be used? [[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 14:54, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} Very often. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 14:56, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:According to [[Special:log/import]] since the software started logging imports in late 2007 the right has been used a grand total of 171 times, with 97 of those uses being the same person on the same day in 2019. The claim that this would be used &quot;very often&quot; appears to have no basis in the available facts. A breakdown of yearly usage stats for this right:
{{collapse|
:*2022 - 1 import
:*2021 - 16 imports
:*2020 - 2 imports
:*2019 - 98 imports
:*2018 - no imports
:*2017 - no imports
:*2016 - 1 import
:*2015 - no imports
:*2014 - no imports
:*2013 - no imports
:*2012 - no imports
:*2011 - 16 imports
:*2010 - no imports
:*2009 - no imports
:*2008 - 37 imports}}
:There are also some parts of this proposal that seem bizarre and poorly thought out to me - e.g. why are you including autoconfirmed in this group? Anyone with this right should already be autoconfirmed - this isn't something that should be given to newbies. History merging is quite possibly the most dangerous user right on the site, and should not be given to anyone except admins who have the technical ability to fix any messes it creates. In what situations is the &quot;delete-redirect&quot; right going to be useful - pages don't need to have the exact same name on all wikis, and if there's an existing template redirect in the way importing a new template over the top of it could cause a disaster. &quot;Supress redirect&quot; seems to be unrelated to the act of actually importing pages and seems to have been chucked in so you can history merge stuff? Wikiquote also already has the unused [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=import importer] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=transwiki transwiki importers] user groups, which seem to do exactly what you're already asking for.
:I don't know if wikiquote allows IP votes in policy decisions, but I would '''Oppose''' this proposal on the basis that the import functionality is so rarely used that the current workload can easily be handled by existing admins, this particular proposal seems to be poorly thought out and bundles a load of rights together that are, at best, tangentially related to importing pages, and that user groups to allow users to import pages already exist. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 20:09, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::# Autoconfirmed is a basic right.
::# How is history merging the most dangerous???
::# Delete-redirect is '''required''' for this to be done properly '''most''' of the time.
::::* Because it is needed if new revisions are added to the page that the revisions are being imported from.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:18, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::Also, '''please''' read the banner at the top. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:19, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|192.76.8.85}} Does this count as a vote or comment. (I am assuming a vote for the timebeing) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:25, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I don't know why you're directing me to read your idiotically large, obnoxious banner (made extra large and obnoxious in response to my comment!) and to ask you for technical explanations when your responses here are utter nonsense and demonstrate that you don't actually understand what you're proposing.
:::*''Autoconfirmed is a basic right.'' - yes, which is why it is utterly pointless to bundle it into an advanced user right supposed to be given to trusted members of the community.  Everyone who is granted the import right will already be autoconfirmed. There is no point giving them the right again, it makes as much sense as giving the &lt;code&gt;edit&lt;/code&gt; right to admins.
:::*''How is history merging the most dangerous???'' - because it can easily make an enormous mess and it has no &quot;undo&quot; functionality. If you accidentally merge together two pages with long co-existent history the only way to unmerge them is to delete the page then manually undelete individual revisions one at a time to separate the page histories out again. Fixing a history merge mistake can take literally hours. It is also completely unnecessary for importers to have this right because it is already built into the import function.
:::*''Delete-redirect is required for this to be done properly most of the time. Because it is needed if new revisions are added to the page that the revisions are being imported from.'' - this makes no sense at all, I actually cannot understand what you are trying to say here. The import function can directly add old revisions to an existing page, you just set the import location to the title of the extant page - you don't have to import pages to some other title then merge them together afterwards.
:::You can consider this to be a vote. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 20:50, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::* History merge '''is''' necessary for the follow reason:
::::** Let’s say that Person 1 ''manually'' imports Page 1 to Page 2, then Person 2 (who is an importer) wants to properly import the revisions, but in between these two events Person 3 has modified Page 1, this would cause the import to fail. So what the importer would do is:
::::**# Import the original page to Page 3.
::::**# Merge all revisions in Page 3 (before Person 1 copied Page 1 to Page 2) into Page 2.
::::**# Redirect Page 2 to Page 3.
::::**# Merge all revisions before the redirect in Page 2 into Page 3.
::::**# Use &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; to delete Page 2.
::::**# Use &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; to move Page 3 to Page 2.
::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:59, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::This doesn't make any kind of sense. You import the page with it's whole history, split the history via the history merge function (?), then combine the history back together, then delete the mess of pages you created? What you would end up with if you followed those instructions is page 3 with the entire edition history of persons 1 2 and 3 included?
:::::Again, this work flow is complete and utter nonsense. If you want to perform an import and merge revisions into existing page then you just have to tell the import tool to include history information, and the merge will be done for you. If you just want to import the revisions from before the history fork then make an XML dump of the revisions you want and import that. There is no need at all for this histmerge and redirect mess.
:::::Fundamentally though fixing history forking issues is not a job for page importers - it is a job for administrators who have access to the proper page deletion, undeletion and history toolbox. It makes no sense to give users some administrative tools to allow them to, via a unnecessarily convoluted methods, fix an issue that has never actually occurred to date. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:33, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I have this issue very often, that's why I proposed it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:36, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|Koavf}} Is history merge very dangerous? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:43, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::What &quot;issue&quot; are you actually having, because &quot;import revisions from another wiki and merge them into an existing page&quot; is functionality that the import tool already has - you don't need all the extra user rights to do it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::I meant merging within a wiki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:47, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::&quot;merging within a wiki&quot; is not a part of any sensible workflow for importing pages. User rights should be set up as groups of related rights that multiple people should find useful, that have similar access requirements, and generally the ability to do an action should be bundled with the ability to undo it. Creating a user group isn't an opportunity to put together a &quot;grab bag&quot; of rights that you personally think you would like. An &quot;importer&quot; right should just contain the stuff needed to import pages, i.e. &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt;. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:57, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::That why is called &quot;'''revision''' importer&quot; and not just &quot;importer&quot;. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:58, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::And what is the supposed difference between this &quot;revision importer&quot; and the regular &quot;importer&quot; right? You can already import revisions and add them to the history of pages using the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; rights. To me this looks like a combination of you not actually knowing what the import right does, a bunch of utterly bizarre suggestions (like the bundled autoconfirmed right) and you trying to make your own personal user group with just the stuff you want in it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 22:03, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::Maybe &quot;revision editor&quot; or &quot;revision manager&quot; would be a more accurate title? Also, this isn't just for me. If it was, it would also include many other rights (e.g. rollback, templateeditor). – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:06, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::We already have a user group that allows certain people to edit page histories, they're called &quot;administrators&quot;. I do not think a user group which allows editors to screw up page histories but does not include the tools to fix them is a good idea. ''this isn't just for me.'' seems to be in direct contradiction to your statement below that the big issue with the existing importer groups is that ''Neither of which fully covers my needs.'' which is it - a general &quot;importer&quot; group for everyone, or a user group specifically tailored to what you want to do. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:41, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::A revision editor would be for '''revisions''', not general administrative rights. Revisions editing includes imports. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:42, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::What is the difference between &quot;general administrative rights&quot; and &quot;revision&quot; rights. They are, as far as I can tell, the same thing. Pages on wikis are nothing but a string of revisions, how is messing around with revisions a distinct operation from messing around with pages? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:50, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::I didn’t say it ''was'' used very often, I said it ''would'' be used very often, '''if implemented'''. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:15, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*I got pinged here from enwiki: enwikiquote already has local admins which have transwiki access, and if there is a good reason this community needs xmlimports the &quot;importer&quot; group could also be added via the existing group process. xmlimport can be &quot;dangerous&quot; so I'd suggest that you not add it to anyone that wouldn't otherwise qualify as an interface admin here. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:25, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:{{ping|Xaosflux}} This would only be given to users who are '''at least''' as trustworthy as interface admins. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:29, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::{{ping|Xaosflux}} Also, could you ask me more questions, so you could come to a final decision? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:31, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::I don't really consider myself part of the enwikiquote community - the primary governance of permissions for this project belongs to them. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:36, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::{{ping|Xaosflux}} Please, very few regulars here actually vote in these. Outside feedback would be very helpful. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:38, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:wikiquote already has [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=import importer] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=transwiki transwiki importer] groups, but they're not currently used. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:35, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::Neither of which fully covers my needs. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:37, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
{{discussion-closed-bottom}}

== Reverse-protection cross-(wiki?) RfC (phab) ==

What is your opinion on [[phab:T312835|this]] feature request? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:45, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== QOTD emergency ==

{{:WQT:PAA|hide=false}} QOTD is missing! {{done}} by Kalki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:22, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
: I just posted it a couple minutes ago — it is certainly NOT any extraordinary emergency. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:25, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Kalki}} Was already marking as fixed while you were leaving your comment. In-fact a got an edit conflict message. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:27, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{redlink|Redlinks}} on the front page are a pretty big deal. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:07, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} Absolutely agreed. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:38, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, please stop pinging all administrators. If there is genuinely an emergency like this that needs an admin, please make your way to [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Notice about the revision importer proposal ==

Originally it was planned to be a discussion only for feedback and improvement, and not a vote since it was nowhere near done. But it accidentally turned into a vote, and as such, failed, as I could provide sufficient information about purpose or how it would work. I will be closing it shortly. I will start a new only for feedback and not voting, after I think it is sufficiently done, I will start a new vote. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:54, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Feedback on proposal for new user right ==

{{Notice box|text='''This is not a vote,''' this is simply a discussion related to improving and fixing potential issues with this proposal, users who oppose this may provide feedback on how to make it less unappealing to them, but if you are entirely against it and have no constructive feedback to offer, '''do not comment here.'''&lt;br&gt;&lt;big&gt;You may also ask questions here, '''regardless of what you think of the proposal.'''&lt;/big&gt;}}

This is a proposal for a 'revision importer' right, this would be primarily used for cross-wiki importing, though it will also be used for other purposes.

This is needed because a lot of pages and templates that exist on other wikis do not exist here. Also, this can also be used for importing lost pages from dead wikis. (e.g. simple English Wikiquote)

This right would be appointed by bureaucrats.

Here are the user rights it is planned to contain so far:

{{:User:Ilovemydoodle/proposal/usergroups/revision importer}}

Here are the reasons for each right:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; — Self-explanatory.
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; — Self-explanatory. Also helpful for mass-importing pages and in cases where revisions need to manually be modified.
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — This is needed if a template that has been imported, has been updated on another wiki.
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; — If an imported page is on the title blacklist.
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; — Potential rate limit issues. (this might not be neccessary)
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Similar to &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Same as &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; — Security reasons as with other rights.

=== Examples ===

Here are some examples where this right would preform better than regular importers or administrators.

==== 1 ====

Let’s say that Person 1 ''manually'' imports Page 1 to Page 2, then Person 2 (who is a revision importer) wants to properly import the revisions, but in between these two events, Person 3 has modified Page 1, this would mean that if it was imported traditionally it would either fail, or would appear to succeed, but all revisions in-between wouldn't be valid for this wiki. (e.g. if a template has to have all mentions of 'Wikipedia' changed to 'Wikiquote', this is pretty obvious, but you could imagine more subtle issues). Then, if someone didn't like certain changes that were made, and rolled-back to an earlier revision, the new versiom wouldn't be valid for this wiki. With this type of importing, the revision import could manually edit the revisions before importing, so all revision would be valid. This could be done via the following process: 

# Import the original page (from the other wiki) to Page 3.
# Merge all revisions in Page 3 (before Person 1 copied Page 1 to Page 2) into Page 2.
# Redirect Page 2 to Page 3.
# Merge all revisions before the redirect in Page 2 into Page 3.
# Use &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; to delete Page 2.
# Use &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; to move Page 3 to Page 2.

=== Comments ===

– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:07, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|AC9016|Nihonjoe|Antandrus|Koavf|Stang|ShakespeareFan00|Rubbish computer|Dave Braunschweig|Atcovi|Ottawahitech}} Thoughts? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:29, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

Why are you wasting everyone's time by repeating the exact same discussion as above which will lead to the exact same conclusion? This is an terrible idea for a user group - it is completely redundant to the existing &quot;import&quot; group, contains a load of disjointed and disconnected rights that have no business being bundled together and per the discussion above the proposer is unable to justify why this group should exist or what purpose it is supposed to serve. Going through the list of rights:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; — Not enabled anywhere for any user group, even stewards. Has the ability to crash medium to large wikis, so the devs are unlikely to approve enabling. The proposer doesn't appear to understand what this does, it has nothing to do with templates, it's intended for content pages, when you export a page with this setting enabled it also exports all linked pages, and all pages linked to those pages and so on until you hit the depth limit.
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, Import can already merge page histories, extremely dangerous and can easily make a huge mess, should remain restricted to administrators.
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded. Not a frequently occurring issue, if a title is deemed unsuitable by the blacklist it can just be imported to a different title, pages don't need to have the same name everywhere.
* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, no-one should be importing pages so quickly they hit the rate limit.
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded - everyone even being considered for import user rights should be autoconfirmed.
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, not related to importing pages, only included because the proposer apparently doesn't understand how importing pages works.
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, not related to importing pages, only included because the proposer apparently doesn't understand how importing pages works.
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
The &quot;proposed&quot; user rights are not possible to implement (the database doesn't track which revisions have been imported) would not get past wmf legal (you cannot view any kind of deleted content without passing an RFA or equivalent process) and duplicate existing admin functionality.

My opinion is that the proposer here does not understand what they are proposing, how user rights work, how importing work and has no idea what this user group is supposed to be used for. I am unimpressed that rather than answering the question &quot;what is this supposed to be used for and how is it different from importer/administrator rights&quot; they have decided to shut down the discussion above and start another one on exactly the same thing. I am even more unimpressed that they have left another &quot;notice&quot; telling people that unless they are coming here to tell them how amazing their idea is they are unwelcome to comment. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:54, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''This is not a vote,''' please read the header. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:55, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::Can you please point out where I voted? '''Please read my comment'''. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:56, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::&lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; — This might a problem, I will look into this. Thanks for the feedback.
:::&lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::&lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; Not frequent, but if you are importing a lot of pages, this could be an issue.
:::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Specific cases (e.g. second account, changing accounts, bots, etc.), also there is no harm to adding this right.
:::&lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::&lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:03, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::You haven't &quot;explained &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt;. You've posted a completely ridiculous workflow which would involve using them to do something the import right can already do.
::::Why would &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; be useful? What kinds of pages are you intending to import where the title would be so terrible it would hit an entry on the blacklist.
::::&lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; you clearly do not understand what this does, I'll give you a clue, it has nothing to do with the &quot;amount of data&quot; that you're sending to the server. Another clue, import actions aren't even rate limited.
::::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; why on earth would you include a user right that the person already has? It's a complete waste of time. If for some reason you need to import pages using a brand new alt account why couldn't you do the normal thing, and assign the user the &quot;confirmed&quot; user rights?
::::You still haven't answered the fundamental question - what is this right supposed to do that the &quot;import&quot; right can't already do, and why do you need all these extra user rights to re-implement functionality that already exists. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 02:16, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::How do you ''modify'' a revision with regular import? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:22, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::You can use the &quot;import from a file&quot; option and edit the XML before you upload it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:05, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::...which would require the removal and replacement of the existing revisions. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:09, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Why would you be replacing revisions with things that didn't actually exist? The whole point of the page history is to serve as the legally required record of who contributed what content to a page - there is no situation whatsoever where it would be appropriate to replace actual revisions with stuff you made up. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:12, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Please see example 1. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:13, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::example 1 is a completely ridiculous workflow that only demonstrates that you don't actually understand how anything works. Even so, at what stage of example 1 do you need to make up revisions that don't actually exist? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::Anywhere between 2 and 4. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:21, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:This user right would '''not''' allow a user to view deleted content. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:12, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::The &lt;code&gt;view-deleted-imported-revision&lt;/code&gt; would fall afoul of [[meta:Limits to configuration changes]], specifically ''Allow non-admins to view deleted stuff''. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 02:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::It would only allow the viewing of content deleted using this right, which would be stored separately to admin-deleted content. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Again, you don't appear to understand how anything actually works. Mediawiki doesn't store deleted revisions separately, they're in the main revision table but flagged as deleted. Non-admins are banned from viewing deleted content, it doesn't matter how it was deleted or what user right was involved. This is a hard limit by the WMF legal department and cannot be overturned via feature requests or consensus. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:08, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::There is a way of storing it separately. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:09, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Not in the current version of Mediawiki there isn't. Even suppressed material is stored in the main revision table with the &lt;code&gt;DELETED_RESTRICTED&lt;/code&gt; flag set. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::It would be stored in the main archive table, it would be differentiated using the unused field &lt;code&gt;ar_flags&lt;/code&gt; – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:20, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Do you think more should be addressed in this proposal? If so, what? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:50, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::No. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:37, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|Koavf}} Sorry, I just realized this now, I meant to say &quot;more questions addressed&quot;. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:53, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Not really. I just think this is your proposal. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:24, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Do you support it so far? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:25, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|koavf}} Also, what do you think the requirements to get this right should be? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:29, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Just asking for them and the community voting, just like with other rights. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:46, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I don't object, but I don't have strong feelings on it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:47, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

I'm not a frequent contributor to Wikiquote, but I was asked to comment. I don't see a problem with the overall proposal if it meets a community need. However, I would not include &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt;. There's almost no legitimate reason for a human being to trigger that limit. Save that right for bots. -- [[User:Dave Braunschweig|Dave Braunschweig]] ([[User talk:Dave Braunschweig|talk]]) 16:58, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:06, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
*First of all, you should not have started another discussion. It was going fine and people were still giving their opinions on it. In fact there was a point I wanted to respond to you on but couldn't because you closed the discussion. Secondly, seeing as 50% of people opposed, and only 30% supported, I'm just curious why you are still trying to push this idea and encouraging others to not oppose it despite quite a clear result voting-wise but also consensus-wise that the community doesn't want this. And I'm especially concerned about how you have closed another discussion and opened another one where apparently if you are entirely against the proposal, you are not allowed to comment. This makes it harder to find the community consensus that seemed to quite clearly be &quot;we don't want this.&quot; --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:42, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:The main issue provided was that there wasn’t any reason to do this (because I did not include one in the original vote), so I am trying to redo this in a better way. Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:44, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::You could have always edited the reason in the original discussion, and that would have had the benefit of not freezing the discussion for everyone else who participated... --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:50, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::Well, I am redoing the ''whole'' proposal, so most of those votes won't matter anymore. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:53, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::It seems like the proposal is very similar to the one you just suggested. Just because ''you'' don't think those &quot;votes&quot; don't matter anymore doesn't mean you should move to a completely different discussion on the exact same topic, with some bizarre restrictions on what I should comment and what I should not. I see no reason for you to have opened another discussion and am considering merging it so the community are more aware about what your plans are. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:46, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::::The original vote was poorly conceived, this is my second attempt, please don't associate this with the original. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:50, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::::Sorry but I see no reason to not associate this with the original proposal. Yes, there are a couple of changes based on feedback, however your proposal is essentially the same, but instead, you have decided to discourage people opposed to it from commenting. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 09:13, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
*Ok seeing as my opinion is clear at this point - that giving importer to non-admins is generally a bad idea - let's focus on the problems with this proposal. Autoconfirmed is unnecessary. It shouldn't affect rate limit, for autoconfirmed users. Merge history is not needed, although I'm unsure if this is included within importer - you can just import the page again, or update it manually for situations where it's updated on one wiki but not another - which is rare. tboverride - not sure when an imported page would ever be on the title blacklist? Overall, seems as though even more unnecessary admin-level tools are going into a right where not as much trust is necessary. If a person needs this many rights, why not get admin?? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:40, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== Sorry ==

For leaving feedback requests on far too many user pages, I have stopped, and will only ask users that are actually interested, and can help. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Movement Strategy and Governance News - Issue 7 ==

&lt;div style = &quot;line-height: 1.2&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:200%;&quot;&gt;'''Movement Strategy and Governance News'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:120%; color:#404040;&quot;&gt;'''Issue 7, July-September 2022'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:120%; float:right;&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7|'''Read the full newsletter''']]&lt;/span&gt; 
----
Welcome to the 7th issue of Movement Strategy and Governance News! The newsletter distributes relevant news and events about the implementation of Wikimedia's [[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy/Initiatives|Movement Strategy recommendations]], other relevant topics regarding Movement governance, as well as different projects and activities supported by the Movement Strategy and Governance (MSG) team of the Wikimedia Foundation.  

The MSG Newsletter is delivered quarterly, while the more frequent [[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy/Updates|Movement Strategy Weekly]] will be delivered weekly. Please remember to subscribe [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Global message delivery/Targets/MSG Newsletter Subscription|here]] if you would like to receive future issues of this newsletter.
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;margin-top:3px; padding:10px 10px 10px 20px; background:#fffff; border:2px solid #808080; border-radius:4px; font-size:100%;&quot;&gt; 

* '''Movement sustainability''': Wikimedia Foundation's annual sustainability report has been published. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A1&lt;/tvar&gt;|continue reading]])
* '''Improving user experience''': recent improvements on the desktop interface for Wikimedia projects. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A2|continue reading]])
* '''Safety and inclusion''': updates on the revision process of the Universal Code of Conduct Enforcement Guidelines. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A3|continue reading]])
* '''Equity in decisionmaking''': reports from Hubs pilots conversations, recent progress from the Movement Charter Drafting Committee, and a new white paper for futures of participation in the Wikimedia movement. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A4|continue reading]])
* '''Stakeholders coordination''': launch of a helpdesk for Affiliates and volunteer communities working on content partnership. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A5|continue reading]])
* '''Leadership development''': updates on leadership projects by Wikimedia movement organizers in Brazil and Cape Verde. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A6|continue reading]])
* '''Internal knowledge management''': launch of a new portal for technical documentation and community resources. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A7|continue reading]])
* '''Innovate in free knowledge''': high-quality audiovisual resources for scientific experiments and a new toolkit to record oral transcripts. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A8|continue reading]])
* '''Evaluate, iterate, and adapt''': results from the Equity Landscape project pilot ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A9|continue reading]])
*
'''Other news and updates''': a new forum to discuss Movement Strategy implementation, upcoming Wikimedia Foundation Board of Trustees election, a new podcast to discuss Movement Strategy, and change of personnel for the Foundation's Movement Strategy and Governance team. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A10|continue reading]])

&lt;/div&gt;&lt;section end=&quot;msg-newsletter&quot;/&gt;

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 22:59, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Announcing the six candidates for the Board of Trustees election ==

:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election/Short|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election/Short}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi everyone,

The Affiliate Representatives have completed their voting period. The selected 2022 Board of Trustees candidates are:

* Tobechukwu Precious Friday ([[:m:User:Tochiprecious|Tochiprecious]])
* Farah Jack Mustaklem ([[:m:User:Fjmustak|Fjmustak]])
* Shani Evenstein Sigalov ([[:m:User:Esh77|Esh77]])
* Kunal Mehta ([[:m:User:Legoktm|Legoktm]])
* Michał Buczyński ([[:m:User:Aegis Maelstrom|Aegis Maelstrom]])
* Mike Peel ([[:m:User:Mike Peel|Mike Peel]])

You may see more information about the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Results|Results]] and [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Stats|Statistics]] of this Board election.

The Affiliate organizations selected representatives to vote on behalf of the Affiliate organization. The Affiliate Representatives proposed questions for the candidates to answer in mid-June. These answers from candidates and the information provided from the Analysis Committee provided support for the representatives as they made their decision.

Please take a moment to appreciate the Affiliate Representatives and Analysis Committee members for taking part in this process and helping to grow the Board of Trustees in capacity and diversity. These hours of volunteer work connect us across understanding and perspective. Thank you for your participation.

Thank you to the community members who put themselves forward as candidates for the Board of Trustees. Considering joining the Board of Trustees is no small decision. The time and dedication candidates have shown to this point speaks to their commitment to this movement. Congratulations to those candidates who have been selected. A great amount of appreciation and gratitude for those candidates not selected. Please continue to share your leadership with Wikimedia.

What can voters do now?

[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Results|Review the results of the Affiliate selection process]].

[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election|Read more here about the next steps in the 2022 Board of Trustee election]].

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''&lt;/translate&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;section end=&quot;announcement-content&quot; /&gt;

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 19:35, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== Let's talk about the Desktop Improvements ==

[[File:Vector 2022 showing language menu with a blue menu trigger and blue menu items 01.jpg|thumb]]
Join an online meeting with the team working on the [[mw:Reading/Web/Desktop Improvements|Desktop Improvements]]! It will take place on '''26 July 2022 at [https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?iso=20220726T1200 12:00 UTC] and [https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?iso=20220726T1900 19:00 UTC]''' on Zoom. '''[https://wikimedia.zoom.us/j/5304280674 Click here to join]'''. Meeting ID: 5304280674. [https://wikimedia.zoom.us/u/kc2hamfYz9 Dial by your location].

[[mw:Special:MyLanguage/Reading/Web/Desktop Improvements/Updates/Talk to Web|Read more]]. See you! [[User:SGrabarczuk (WMF)|SGrabarczuk (WMF)]] ([[User talk:SGrabarczuk (WMF)|talk]]) 16:19, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:SGrabarczuk (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:SGrabarczuk_(WMF)/sandbox/MM/En_fallback&amp;oldid=23430301 --&gt;

== Vote for Election Compass Statements ==

:''[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements|You can find this message translated into additional languages on Meta-wiki.]]''
:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi all,

Volunteers in the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] are invited to [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass/Statements|vote for statements to use in the Election Compass]]. You can vote for the statements you would like to see included in the Election Compass on Meta-wiki.

An Election Compass is a tool to help voters select the candidates that best align with their beliefs and views. The community members will propose statements for the candidates to answer using a Lickert scale (agree/neutral/disagree). The candidates’ answers to the statements will be loaded into the Election Compass tool. Voters will use the tool by entering in their answer to the statements (agree/disagree/neutral). The results will show the candidates that best align with the voter’s beliefs and views.

Here is the timeline for the Election Compass:

*&lt;s&gt;July 8 - 20: Volunteers propose statements for the Election Compass&lt;/s&gt;
*&lt;s&gt;July 21 - 22: Elections Committee reviews statements for clarity and removes off-topic statements&lt;/s&gt;
*July 23 - August 3: Volunteers vote on the statements
*August 4: Elections Committee selects the top 15 statements
*August 5 - 12: candidates align themselves with the statements
*August 16: The Election Compass opens for voters to use to help guide their voting decision

The Elections Committee will select the top 15 statements at the beginning of August


Best, 

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 17:20, 26 July 2022 (UTC)

== Names for cleanup categories ==

Hello,

I'm going to start localising a load of imported clean-up templates over the next few weeks, and I wanted some feedback from the community on what terminology to use for the associated categories. Some of these clean-up templates sort main space pages into categories of the form &quot;Articles needing foo&quot;, some of them sort them into categories of the form &quot;Wikiquote pages needing foo&quot; (and some templates have been half-localised and sort them into both!). What is the preferred terminology for these kind of pages? &quot;Article&quot; or &quot;Wikiquote pages&quot;? Just thought I'd get some feedback before editing dozens of templates and making dozens of categories. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:18, 28 July 2022 (UTC)

:Content in the main namespace can be &quot;articles&quot; for sure, especially if that makes it easier. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:04, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:Koavf|Koavf]] Thanks, that's really helpful. I'll make a start localising and cleaning up these templates so they don't sort pages into nonsense like [[:Category:Wikipedia external links cleanup]].
::There's one other template I'd like some feedback on, {{tl|cleanup}}. This template seems to have been hijacked and now does a completley different function to when it was a wikiquote specific one; it used to be for articles that didn't fit into any of the specific cleanup categories, now it's a generic &quot;tag everything&quot; type template. As it stands this template has been copied from the English Wikipedia and has a lot of complexity and features that don't make sense here. As I see it there are a few ways we could move forward with this template:
::# Roll it back to the old, wikiquote specific version
::# Try to localise the current template properly (I'm not keen on this, it is way too complex and has way too much subcategorization for a project of this size).
::# Try to simplify the new template to produce something that works well on this project.
::# Remake the template in the new style, but replicating the functionality of the old clean-up template as much as possible.
::There are also a couple of features of the new style template that I'd like to get some feedback on whether they're actually useful here, to start:
::# The new template asks you to submit a reason when tagging a page for cleanup, is this required on this project and is populating [[:Creating Category:Cleanup tagged articles without a reason field]] useful?
::# Is categorising pages by namespace useful? e.g. sorting pages into &quot;Wikiquote categories needing cleanup&quot;, &quot;Wikiquote templates needing cleanup&quot;, &quot;Wikiquote Articles needing cleanup&quot; etc? My gut feeling is no, given that there are less than 100 pages tagged in total.
::As you might be able to tell I'm a bit lost when it comes to figuring out what to do with {{tl|cleanup}}. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:43, 30 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I don't think that this project is big or active enough to need to be sorted by namespace with cleanup templates. If you think it's best to revert back to how this template functioned back in April, then I support that. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:56, 31 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Thanks, I'll give it a few days to see if anyone else has any comments, if not I'll revert back to the old version of the template. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 16:43, 1 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::Reverted back to the old version since no objections were raised. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 15:14, 6 August 2022 (UTC)

== Decorative quotation templates ==

What is the community's opinion on decorative quotation templates like [[Template:Blockquote]]? The [[Wikiquote:Manual of style|manual of style]] and [[Wikiquote:Guide to layout|guide to layout]] says that articles should be composed of plain bulleted lists, but these templates have been added to a few places, e.g. [[Jill Biden]]. Should they be removed, or should the manual of style be updated to allow them? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 15:46, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
:I am not a fan. I see it as a similar discussion regarding the bolding of quotes. To me the different ways of presenting quotes is a bit jarring and there does nto seem to be any criteria used for which quotes use this alternate style. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 16:26, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
* It's useful on other projects. But it's a little like having a specially formatted box on Wikipedia for prose. Uh...prose is kindof the main point of the project. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 16:39, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
*I am also not a fan - I'd prefer as little markup as possible in our pages, since I think markup is off-putting for newbies. Text only is good. I personally tend to be a minimalist on such stuff. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 18:46, 3 August 2022 (UTC)

== If you love somebody, let them go ==

&quot;If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.&quot;&lt;br style=&quot;margin-bottom:0.5em&quot;/&gt;Seems attributed to [[Kahlil Gibran]] by random image search results. A similar variant &quot;If you love something, let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever.&quot; is attributed to [[w:en:Douglas Horton]] by [http://www.quotehd.com/quotes/douglas-horton-clergyman-if-you-love-something-let-it-go-free-if-it-doesnt-come-back another random image search result]. Is either of these correct? If not, perhaps the misattribution could be mentioned on [[Kahlil Gibran]]? &lt;span id=&quot;Alexis_Jazz:1659594815083:WikiquoteBWLCLNVillage_pump&quot; class=&quot;BawlCmt&quot;&gt;[[User:Alexis Jazz|Alexis Jazz]] ([[User talk:Alexis Jazz|talk]]) 06:33, 4 August 2022 (UTC)&lt;/span&gt;

== Any tutorials?  ==

Hi Wikiquote friends, I'm TheAafi, and I mostly contribute on English Wikipedia. I happen to be founder of [[:m:Deoband Community Wikimedia|Deoband Community Wikimedia]], a recognized Wikimedia user group affiliate. I recently organized a series of events to bring attention of DCW volunteers to Wikiquote (see: [[:m:Deoband Community Wikimedia/Events/Wikiquote Delhi August 2022|this page for details]]). Is there any training material already available that I could utilize for this purpose. If not, DCW would be like to aid in this necessary endeavor. Regards, ─ [[User:TheAafi|&lt;span style=&quot;color:SteelBlue&quot;&gt;The Aafī&lt;/span&gt;]] &lt;sup&gt;[[User talk:TheAafi|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#80A0FF&quot;&gt;&lt;sup&gt;(talk)&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/sup&gt; 13:14, 11 August 2022 (UTC)

== Delay of the 2022 Wikimedia Foundation Board of Trustees election ==

Hi all,

I am reaching out to you today with an update about the timing of the voting for the Board of Trustees election.

As many of you are already aware, this year we are offering an [[metawiki:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass|Election Compass]] to help voters identify the alignment of candidates on some key topics. Several candidates requested an extension of the character limitation on their responses expanding on their positions, and the Elections Committee felt their reasoning was consistent with the goals of a fair and equitable election process.

To ensure that the longer statements can be translated in time for the election, the Elections Committee and Board Selection Task Force decided to delay the opening of the Board of Trustees election by one week - a time proposed as ideal by staff working to support the election.

Although it is not expected that everyone will want to use the Election Compass to inform their voting decision, the Elections Committee felt it was more appropriate to open the voting period with essential translations for community members across languages to use if they wish to make this important decision.

The voting will open on August 23 at 00:00 UTC and close on September 6 at 23:59 UTC.

Please find this message translated in additional languages [[m:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Delay of Board of Trustees election|here]].

Best regards,

On behalf of the Elections Committee

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 09:23, 16 August 2022 (UTC)

== Invitation to join Movement Strategy Forum ==

Hello everyone,

The [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/ Movement Strategy Forum] (MS Forum) is a multilingual collaborative space for all conversations about Movement Strategy implementation. It provides a great opportunity to share your Movement Strategy(MS) work, find collaborators, and get even more support and ideas for your MS projects. We are inviting all Movement participants to collaborate on the MS Forum. The goal of the forum is to build community collaboration using an inclusive multilingual platform. 

The [[metawiki:Movement Strategy|Movement Strategy]] is a collaborative effort to imagine and build the future of the Wikimedia Movement. Anyone can contribute to the Movement Strategy, from a comment to a full-time project. 

Join this forum with your Wikimedia account, say hi [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/t/say-hello/79 here] and go ahead and join or start a conversation on the recommendation you are most passionate about! Feel free to discuss your MS project ideas and plans or even reports from MS projects you have worked on.  To get started, you can also watch [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/t/a-walk-through-the-movement-strategy-forum/1431 this video].

The Movement Strategy and Governance team (MSG) launched the proposal for this MS Forum in May. After a 2-month review period, we have just published the [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/t/ms-forum-community-review-report/1436 Community Review Report]. It includes a summary of the discussions, metrics, and information about the next steps.

We look forward to seeing you at the MS Forum! 

Best regards,

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 09:40, 19 August 2022 (UTC)

== The 2022 Board of Trustees Election Community Voting period is now open  ==

:''[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/The 2022 Board of Trustees election Community Voting period is now open|You can find this message translated into additional languages on Meta-wiki.]]''
:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/The 2022 Board of Trustees election Community Voting period is now open|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/The 2022 Board of Trustees election Community Voting period is now open}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi everyone,

The Community Voting period for the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] is now open. Here are some helpful links to get you the information you need to vote:

*  Try the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass|Election Compass]], showing how candidates stand on 15 different topics.
* [[m:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Campaign Videos|Watch the candidate videos]] or read the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Candidates|candidate statements]] and [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Affiliate_Organization_Participation/Candidate_Questions|answers to Affiliate questions]]
* [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Apply to be a Candidate|Learn more about the skills the Board seeks]] and how the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Candidates|Analysis Committee found candidates align with those skills]]

If you are ready to vote, you may go to [[Special:SecurePoll/vote/Wikimedia_Foundation_Board_Elections_2022|SecurePoll voting page]] to vote now. '''You may vote from August 23 at 00:00 UTC to September 6 at 23:59 UTC.''' To see about your voter eligibility, please visit the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Voter_eligibility_guidelines|voter eligibility page]].

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 21:12, 23 August 2022 (UTC)

== RevDel policy ==

Revision deletion has been used 278 times this year and 86 times across the whole of 2021... so, it's clear revision deletion on this wiki is becoming more used and fast. I think it's only right with increasing RevDel use to have a RevDel policy. While admins have RevDel reasons they can give when deleting a revision from public view, some are broad. These options are the following:
*Copyright violation
*Inappropriate comment
*Inappropriate username
*Potentially libelous information
*Personal information

A few personal comments about this:
#Inappropriate comment specifically is extremely broad. What does an inappropriate comment mean? Would calling someone stupid be eligible under this option? Or would the comment have to be more disruptive? Note that revision deletion was not created to deal with &quot;ordinary&quot; incivility.
#Potentially libelous information and Personal information should ''not'' be openly dealt with by admins, to avoid the [[Streisand effect]], and should instead be dealt with by oversighters. We currently do not have any local oversighters, so we contact stewards privately if oversight is needed here. These two options shouldn't be part of a RevDel policy, in my opinion.
#Regardless of policy, options that should be used for oversight should be separated from common delete options to avoid extra attention.

I have a few ideas for future RevDel options, and if there's a consensus for them, these should be noted down on a Wikiquote: page as a policy, potentially as an addition to [[Wikiquote:Deletion policy]] or by creating [[Wikiquote:Revision deletion policy]], also depending on the community's preference. These options can be changed on [[MediaWiki:Revdelete-reason-dropdown]].

I would appreciate anyone's opinions for these ideas, that are inspired by enwiki's [[w:Wikipedia:Revision deletion|revision deletion policy]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

=== RD1: Blatant violations of the copyright policy ===
This would be fairly basic, a replacement to our current option &quot;Copyright violation&quot;. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
==== RD1 Comments ====
* {{support}} Sensible and it helps keep this a free culture community. While very unlikely, it also shields us from legal risk. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:49, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

=== RD2: Grossly insulting, degrading, or offensive material ===
A diff that has little to no project value whatsoever - for example, slurs, smears and grossly inappropriate material that has no project value, but not &quot;ordinary&quot; incivility, personal attacks or conduct accusations. If a page has a grossly improper title, the page title can be deleted in the creation and deletion logs too. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

==== RD2 Comments ====
* {{support}} Per [[:w:en:WP:DENY]]. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:53, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

=== RD3: Purely disruptive material ===
Purely disruptive material that does not help the project at all - for example, harassment, grossly inappropriate threats or attacks, malicious HTML or CSS, shock pages, phishing or virus pages, or web pages that disparage or threaten someone and serve no valid purpose. Spam links are not covered under this policy. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

==== RD3 Comments ====
* {{support}} This adds no value and actually detracts, so deny it as well. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:54, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

=== Other RevDel ideas? ===
Any other ideas for a RevDel policy can be put as another section with ===, above this one. Thanks for your input and help. -- [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

:Re: oversighters, we can go ahead and delete inappropriate material ASAP and then ''also'' ask for an office action to remove it entirely from the database, so that even admins can't view it. Removing the material shouldn't be gated by complete deletion. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:55, 27 August 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>pxypu2bwy1a26lpuqmrufsnpq3clb6h</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158646</id>
      <parentid>3158638</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T18:22:53Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Ferien</username>
        <id>3078302</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Other RevDel ideas? */ Reply</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="108504" xml:space="preserve">__NEWSECTIONLINK__
{{Wikiquote:Village pump/Header}}

== Help needed ==

Originally when GRP create the ED page I forgot about it, now he's doing it again, could someone help get it deleted? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:51, 1 July 2022 (UTC)

:The harder you try, the more likely it is to remain, and the more people will want to look at it. It's like that old fable of trying to catch your breath by running after it.
:My advice: let it go. Let it go. Let - it - go. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 17:40, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Antandrus}} {{done}} will do that, thanks for the advice. Also, I got a message from them as well, [https://encyclopediadramatica.online/User:MarioMario456/talk3 here]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:34, 2 July 2022 (UTC)

== Results of Wiki Loves Folklore 2022 is out! ==

&lt;div lang=&quot;en&quot; dir=&quot;ltr&quot; class=&quot;mw-content-ltr&quot;&gt;
{{int:please-translate}}
[[File:Wiki Loves Folklore Logo.svg|right|150px|frameless]]

Hi, Greetings

The winners for '''[[c:Commons:Wiki Loves Folklore 2022|Wiki Loves Folklore 2022]]''' is announced!

We are happy to share with you winning images for this year's edition. This year saw over 8,584 images represented on commons in over 92 countries. Kindly see images '''[[:c:Commons:Wiki Loves Folklore 2022/Winners|here]]'''

Our profound gratitude to all the people who participated and organized local contests and photo walks for this project.

We hope to have you contribute to the campaign next year.

'''Thank you,'''

'''Wiki Loves Folklore International Team'''

--[[User:MediaWiki message delivery|MediaWiki message delivery]] ([[User talk:MediaWiki message delivery|talk]]) 16:12, 4 July 2022 (UTC)

&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Tiven2240@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Distribution_list/Non-Technical_Village_Pumps_distribution_list&amp;oldid=23454230 --&gt;

== QOTD ==

&lt;span style=&quot;position: absolute; {{#ifeq:{{{hide}}}|false||{{#ifeq:{{{hide}}}|no||visibility: hidden;}}}}&quot;&gt;@[[User:Aphaia]] @[[User:BD2412]] @[[User:DannyS712]] @[[User:Ferien]] @[[User:GreenMeansGo]] @[[User:Illegitimate Barrister]] @[[User:Jusjih]] @[[User:Kalki]] @[[User:Koavf]] @[[User:Mdd]] @[[User:Miszatomic]] @[[User:Ningauble]] @[[User:Pmlineditor]] @[[User:UDScott]] @[[User:Ilovemydoodle]]&lt;/span&gt; The Main Page is missing a QOTD! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:30, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

:Nice find. I made a redirect for the time being. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:32, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Wow! That was fast. Also, surprised that managed to slip through. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:47, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Also, did you get pinged? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:48, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::did and got an email in my inbox. Thanks! —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:49, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|koavf}} Why did you get an email? (I didn't send one) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:02, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::[[Special:Preferences#mw-prefsection-watchlist]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:26, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|Koavf}} Huh? I don't see an email option there. Also, could you please deal with the massive backlog over at [[WQ:VIP]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:36, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::My bad: [[Special:Preferences#mw-prefsection-echo]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:40, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:Could you not ping all the admins in your message? This left me rather confused as there was no visible ping and I wasn't involved. If something needs urgent admin attention, please go to [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:18, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:: +1. Please do not ping multitudes of people at once, and please do not ''hide'' invisible pings so nobody can see what is going on. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 20:15, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Abuse Filter feedback ==

What are you thoughts on [[User talk:Koavf#Abuse Filter|my proposed additions to the Abuse Filter]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:44, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|Koavf|Ferien|Antandrus|UDScott}} Thoughts? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:21, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::I've edited the abuse filter before, but I'm not a whiz at it. Note that blocking edits outright based on some of these filters would certainly disrupt standard editing. I feel like this is probably not the best way to stop vandalism and would want to get more consensus from the community. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:28, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Which in particular concern you? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:40, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::I could easily see someone writing &quot;globally blocked&quot; and tripping an abuse filter tag or your username for that matter. Of course, some settings in the abuse filter will completely block an edit from happening and others will just log that it occurred, but either way is not desirable: stopping legitimate edits is bad and a log that is full of false positives is bad. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:42, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} In my request it says that &quot;globally blocked&quot; would only trip it if it was in that specific capitalization (all letters capitalized). – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:50, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::But also &quot;globally blocked lta&quot; (any capitalization) and &quot;et al&quot;? Those are totally valid words that could be used. Also, as I recall, the edit filter takes a toll for computing on the backend, so it's best to not have many edit filter entries. I could be wrong about that, tho. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:03, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Well it says that it is only applies non-auto confirmed, so not that big of a deal. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:24, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I could easily imagine a not auto-confirmed user writing &quot;et al&quot;. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:26, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|koavf}} {{done|Fixed}}&amp;nbsp; Any others remaining that you are still concerned about? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:29, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::thx/thanx would probably be it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:41, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{ping|koavf}} {{done|Fixed}}&amp;nbsp; Any more? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:52, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::I don't think so. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:02, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{ping|koavf}} So, do you support now? And can you add it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:05, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::This still needs consensus and I believe that the edit filter has a kind of high toll, so I'm still on the fence. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:07, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::{{ping|koavf}} High toll in terms of what? Also, (roughly) how many for votes for a consensus for something like this? 1? 2? 3? 5? 10? 100? The entire population of the United States?{{humor inline}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:09, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::Sorry that I was unclear: I've had a hard time sleeping. What I mean is that, in my recollection, the filter needs to do a lot of computing work, since it needs to review the contents of every edit in real time, so adding a lot of filter rules is advised against. I could be wrong, again, I'm not an edit filter whiz, but I have edited it a little on a couple of projects. Plus, as I called out before, there's a kind of human toll where you may end up with false positives or blocking edits that are valid and that takes manual oversight, so it's hard to know exactly what ruels will result in the most efficient use of time. As for how many are needed for consensus, I don't have a hard number in mind, but I would like to leave this open for a few weeks and I hope get a few others giving feedback, since I'm not terribly confident about my skills with the filter. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I'm failing to see the point in even adding that to the abuse filter now you have made it public. The reason the abuse filter is private is to make sure LTAs have a hard time trying to edit. Not simply noticing &quot;oh I can't say these words so let me change my behaviour/what I say&quot;. This LTA is always trying to get past the abuse filter and sometimes succeeds. There is a reason this abuse filter is rarely discussed on-wiki. Discussing abuse filters should not be on talk pages, let alone anywhere near the village pump. -[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:54, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass ==

:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi all,

Community members in the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] are invited to [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass|propose statements to use in the Election Compass.]]

An Election Compass is a tool to help voters select the candidates that best align with their beliefs and views. The community members will propose statements for the candidates to answer using a Lickert scale (agree/neutral/disagree). The candidates’ answers to the statements will be loaded into the Election Compass tool. Voters will use the tool by entering in their answer to the statements (agree/disagree/neutral). The results will show the candidates that best align with the voter’s beliefs and views.

Here is the timeline for the Election Compass:

July 8 - 20: Community members propose statements for the Election Compass

July 21 - 22: Elections Committee reviews statements for clarity and removes off-topic statements

July 23 - August 1: Volunteers vote on the statements

August 2 - 4: Elections Committee selects the top 15 statements

August 5 - 12: candidates align themselves with the statements

August 15: The Election Compass opens for voters to use to help guide their voting decision

The Elections Committee will select the top 15 statements at the beginning of August. The Elections Committee will oversee the process, supported by the Movement Strategy and Governance team. MSG will check that the questions are clear, there are no duplicates, no typos, and so on.

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 13:30, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

== Add template editor right ==

Some of the most used templates here are protected so only admins can edit, which is important for stopping vandalism, but, a lot of potential for fixes and improvements within these pages is also lost because of it. So, do you think that a separate template editor right should be added? (I'm not specifically talking about me, and by &quot;improvements&quot; I don't mean radical changes) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:30, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:I'm generally in favor of breaking off some of the admin user rights for individuals who have skills and motivation to do certain technical work (templates, interface admin) without doing things like blocking, protecting pages, deleting, etc. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:21, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:This seems like a good idea to me. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 02:54, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support''' – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support with caveat''' - Does this differ from 'interface editor' on other projects? [[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 14:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} What is 'interface editor'? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 14:47, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::: [[m:Interface_editors]][[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 15:26, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} Yes, very different, 'template editor' only includes the right to edit protected templates. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:28, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*I don't really consider myself much apart of the enwikiq community, but while I'm here just dropping a tech note. &quot;template editor&quot; currently would do nothing, for it to be useful the community would need to decide they want another protection level (normally more stringent than &quot;semiprotected&quot; and less stringent than &quot;protected&quot;); then administrators would need to actual configure this protection level on pages.  The community would need to determine how this new template editing access should be managed (normally it is &quot;by administrators&quot; technically, with varying local policy rules that you would determine), then add this group to editors that you want to be able to edit the pages that are protected at that level.  Most &quot;smaller&quot; (in terms of active editing communities) don't bother with this, the none/semi-protected/fully-protected scheme is sufficient. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:32, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Oppose'''. Per [[Special:ProtectedPages]] There are currently 84 fully protected templates and no fully protected modules on this wiki. I do not think it is a good use of time to set up a user group, assign it to people and pages, create policies about use/abuse/granting/revocation, update everything else that comes along with big changes in user rights (templates, scripts, policy, help pages, interface messages, etc) when this new protection level will probably be used on 30-40 pages and will be probably only be granted to 1 or 2 people, it just seems like a lot of extra bureaucracy for not much benefit. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:27, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::Noting here that only 12 projects have template editor rights enabled, and one of those is the testing wiki. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:50, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''Oppose''' Fundamentally tainted proposal given the proposer's propensity to propose new user groups seemingly for the sake of doing so rather than to fill any actual need. [[User:Pppery|Pppery]] ([[User talk:Pppery|talk]]) 03:10, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Pppery}} I have had many occasions where this right would be useful for me. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:13, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Pppery}} Please see [[w:WP:HYE|WP:HYE]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:21, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Is this really a valid reason to vote against something? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Any reason could be valid, but I don't think this is a very compelling reason for a no and were I closing this conversation, I don't know that I would count this as being very on-topic. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:46, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

== Add revision importer right ==

{{discussion-closed-top|Withdrawn and starting new vote}}
{{center|{{Ombox|image=&amp;nbsp;|text=&lt;h3&gt;Voting results as of July 17, 2022&lt;/h2&gt;{{Election results|alliance1=Support|aspan1=4|atotal4=3|apct1=50%|party1=Support|votes1=2|party2=Strong Support|votes2=0|party3=Weak Support|votes3=1|alliance5=Oppose|aspan5=4|atotal8=5|party5=Oppose|votes5=4|party6=Strong Oppose|votes6=0|party7=Weak Oppose|votes7=1|alliance9=Other|aspan9=4|atotal12=2|vatotal12=0|party9=Neutral|votes9=2|vatotal9=0|party10=Withdrawn/re-submitted/invalid|votes10=0|party11=Comment/question|votes11=0|color1=#20ff20|color2=#008e00|color3=#72ff72|color5=#ff0000|color6=#a80000|color7=#ff6868|color9=yellow|color10=black|color11=#efefef|valid=8|invalid=2}}}}}}

{{ping|koavf}} This is still in very early stages, but here is a proposal for a new user group containing the following rights:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt;
* The ability to self-revoke the right from yourself.
What do you think so far? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:27, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

=== Potential concerns ===

=== Comments ===

:It's not obvious to me why all of these are lumped together and it seems like straight up importer would work, if the community thought it was necessary or a bureaucrat/steward saw fit to give someone the right. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:22, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Well, I am posting this in hopes of getting it approved on phab. Also for the explanations:
::* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; Self-explanatory.
::* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; Self-explanatory.
::* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; Useful for advanced importing.
::* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; For merging older revisions into page that were not originally imported.
::* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; In case the rate limit triggers from sending too much data.
::* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Basic right.
::* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; If a page imported page needs to be moved without redirect.
::* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; Security reasons as with other user groups.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:34, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I'm fine with it. If you file a ticket at [[phab:]], they will want to see more consensus than this before changing the site preferences. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:33, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Thank you! I  needed to post this here to get consensus and to get feedback on possible improvements. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:34, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Also, do you think this right should be granted by stewards or bureaucrats? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:35, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I don't see why this should have to escalate all the way up to stewards. I think the only rights that should be like that are CheckUser and Oversight, but I know that I'm in the minority on that. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:43, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|koavf}} Wait, what rights other than those two require stewards? Also, I do agree with you. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:51, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::E.g. bureaucrats cannot remove any rights other than those that admins can and the bot flag. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 11:17, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support''' – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:12, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
:&lt;s&gt;'''Neutral''' - I don't know that this is really needed, but I'm not as familiar with the way things work here on Wikiquote. Maybe there's a need that isn't covered by the importers user group? Maybe that group should be modified to include these additional rights? I don't know, so I'm neutral on this proposal. [[User:Nihonjoe|Nihonjoe]] ([[User talk:Nihonjoe|talk]]) 22:15, 13 July 2022 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; Changed to oppose.
::'''Oppose''', for several reasons.
::#I think you're going out of your way to harass anyone who is voting against (or in my case, neutral about) your proposal. Your attempts to strike Ferien's vote (or any of the votes of others whose reasons you deem &quot;invalid&quot;) are especially disturbing. How about you let people have opinions that differ from yours, and leave it at that? 
::#The gigantic warning (added and continually made more obnoxious with each edit [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143520 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143522 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143526 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143527 here], and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143528 here] is completely unnecessary and only serves to make you look unhinged.
::#As others have pointed out, you don't seem to fully grasp how the various user rights work, and your proposal contains a lot of unnecessary rights bundled together apparently because you want all of the bundled rights and not because they serve any useful general purpose bundled together as proposed.
::#Going off the last point, you have repeatedly failed to express valid reasons how this would be useful to anyone other than yourself.
::For all these reasons (and probably a few others I forgot while typing this), I don't see any valid need for this new user group. [[User:Nihonjoe|Nihonjoe]] ([[User talk:Nihonjoe|talk]]) 08:34, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Seems okay'''; not really sure why it is needed, but I don't seen any compelling reason for not, so I guess that's a tentative support. Open to persuasion if I am missing something. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 02:53, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Antandrus}} Here is some more information/context:
::&lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; I regularly need to import a lot of templates (including revisions), so this would be nice.
::&lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; Useful for doing the above automatically, mass-importing pages from another wiki, or importing multiple levels deep.
::&lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; Useful for advanced importing.
::&lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; For merging older revisions into page that were not originally imported.
::&lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; If a page/template you are importing contains/is on the blacklist.
::&lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; In case you trigger the rate limit for creating too many pages.
::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Basic right. Also, similar to above.
::&lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; Deleting a page after it has been merged.
::&lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; Same as above.
::&lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; Security reasons as with other user groups.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:06, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Oppose''' Import is quite a dangerous tool. On Simple English Wikipedia we do have the importer right but it is rarely used or given out, mainly because you have to be really trusted to use it. Seeing as import could cause so much damage and that damage isn't really reversible without admin tools, you have to have a very large amount of trust in someone to give them import, and at that point if you can trust them so much to use import properly, why not give admin so they can clear up any mess they might make as well. While this is the general attitude on simplewiki, it applies to any WMF site. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:56, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Ferien}} Yes, it is a powerful tool, but why are you against this? If it is dangerous, we'll just be extra careful when giving out, like any other user right. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:01, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::It's a powerful tool and it's very difficult to reverse mistakes if you are not an admin. If you're not careful, you can import dozens of templates at once that may not be the ones you wanted to import, and you have to fix these pages or call an admin to delete these pages manually. I am also not voting against you as you seem to be implying below, import is already included in admin and so you are suggesting it should be given to non-admins, which I oppose for the reasons above. [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:44, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Ferien}} It already '''is''' given to non-admins on many other wikis. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:50, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, but not on Wikiquote. Just because many other wikis have done it wrong doesn't mean we should do it wrong too. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:10, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|Ferien}}
::::::{{Blockquote|Just because many other wikis have done it wrong}}
::::::I am not sure if this is humorous or not, but, if it isn't: 
::::::: This is a ridiculous comment, just because you don't agree doesn't make it &quot;wrong&quot;. Considering this has been done on dozens of wikis, it is probably a good choice for at-least some wikis. By making this comment, it makes your original vote look like it was made in bad faith.
::::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:23, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, they have done it wrong ''in my opinion''. Your opinion may be different but as I said, I think the same applies for most wikis and unless you are including delete in importer or importer is only added if you have a role like one on some wikis called eliminator which has delete tools and block tools, but not protection, abuse filter etc, I do not think importer on its own is appropriate. That does not make my !vote done in bad faith. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} If you don't think this should be done on ''any'' wiki, make a request on meta, rather than voting here. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:30, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} Since your vote is about generally being against the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; right for non-admins and not specifically about my request, may I please strike it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, not sure why you want to strike my vote, because that is exactly what your request is about. While it doesn't specify non-admins specifically or mention non-admins, that is exactly what you are asking for. Admins already have the import right. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:35, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I never said that importer being given on other wikis should be reversed. That wouldn't be done on meta anyway, it'd be done for individual communities as they decided to add it there. If other wikis feel that's what works for them, then that's fine. I am not really part of many other wikis' community. Only simplewiki, enwikiquote and to some extent metawiki and enwiki. However, what you were suggesting was that we should give non-admins importer on this wiki because it's done on other wikis, and as I disagree with the importer right being separate as a whole, I do not agree with that argument. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:33, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}}
::::::::::{{Blockquote|However, what you were suggesting was that we should give non-admins importer on this wiki because it's done on other wikis, and as I disagree with the importer right being separate as a whole, I do not agree with that argument.}}
::::::::::I am suggesting it should be done &quot;because it is done on other wikis&quot;, I was just pointing that out. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:38, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:03, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I have already read the message. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 08:52, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} Could explain exactly ''why'' you oppose '''''the creation''''' of this right? You have already explained that it is dangerous right, in your opinion, and should be restricted, but why do you not want it created? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:04, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Koavf}} What are your thoughts on this reply? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:17, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Whether we should have importers and who should be importers are two different things. Admins have all these rights and more, so I don't see the problem. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:17, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|ferien|koavf}} {{u|Koavf}}, just what I was thinking! This isn't an RfRI, this is a feature request. While I would like to have it, whether I get should be held in a vote for that, not if should exist at all. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|Koavf}} Can the vote be striken-off as invalid? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::So I assume you're talking about my vote? Is there any reason why it should be struck as invalid? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:40, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::No. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 10:46, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|Kalki}} Could you vote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:42, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:: I do not see any compelling need for creating such a user group, and do see that it could develop complications and problems that would have to be sorted out in often tedious ways. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 20:44, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I also '''oppose''' this - for many of the reasons already articulated above. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:29, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Kalki|UDScott}} Could you be more specific, so I could try to improve/re-submit this? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:08, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|UDScott}} Could you give me some recommendations on how to improve my proposal? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:08, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::It's not a matter of making tweaks to your proposal that will suddenly convince me - I just don't think this is something we want. I would rather see more users become admins if qualified, rather than adding more roles. I also worry about imports being done improperly and causing other issues. Bottom line is that I just don't see the value in doing this, regardless of how the proposal to do so is worded. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:57, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|UDScott}}
::::::{{Blockquote|I also worry about imports being done improperly and causing other issues.}}
::::::Well, I would assume if someone is given, they would know how to import properly. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:02, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::That's quite the logical fallacy you've got going there. Just because someone has garnered enough support to be granted a role in no way means that a process will be performed correctly. Everyone who has been in the admin role has at one time or another made an error - because of a misunderstanding, a lack of technical ability, or simply a mistake. The nomination and approval process that results in one gaining a role does not remove risk of issues. I just don't see the need for this role, especially given the risk involved (and the fact that if errors are made, it is a bit tedious to correct them). I do not support this proposal - I've explained this multiple times, even though I don't believe that I need to justify my lack of support. And a tip, especially as we are in active discussion: there's really no need to continually ping me every time you respond. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:12, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|UDScott}} As {{u|Koavf}} said, &quot;Whether we should have importers and who should be importers are two different things. Admins have all these rights and more, so I don't see the problem.&quot; Wouldn't that also apply to this vote?
::::::::{{Blockquote|And a tip, especially as we are in active discussion: there's really no need to continually ping me every time you respond.}}
::::::::That's usually how a one-to-one discussion works.
::::::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:20, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::I am applying it to this vote - to me the risk is too high for ''any''one to have it when I don't see the need for it. And no, pinging someone and just addressing them in the text of the conversation are two different things. Imagine if we were standing at a door having a discussion. You could easily say my name and make your point - or you could ring the doorbell every time before you speak. One is standard behavior and the other is a bit annoying - see the difference? IMHO, pinging should only be used when you have received no response and wish to gain someone's attention. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::What exactly ''are'' the risks to importing? I understand how it could be used maliciously (e.g. spamming, faking edits, etc.), but I don't see how it could be destructive when used in good faith. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:32, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::I believe Ferien outlined the issues very well above. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:34, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{ping|UDScott}} Well, there already are the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; user rights. I never said what the requirements would be or how strictly it would be given out, only the user rights it would contain and how it would work. Are you against the very idea of non-developers importing? And if so, wouldn't you the rights removed entirely? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:41, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Do you have any suggestions as to how I could improve this proposal? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::I do not. It seems like community consensus is tilting against it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:58, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} Currently the results are: 3 Support, 1 Neutral, 3 Oppose. So, even. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:07, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''oppose''' does not seem needed or useful, extremely sensitive rights --[[User:DannyS712|DannyS712]] ([[User talk:DannyS712|talk]]) 21:51, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|DannyS712}} Please explain further. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:30, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''neutral''' I was aksed to leave feedback, but I rarely edit Wikiquote, how often would this need to be used? [[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 14:54, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} Very often. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 14:56, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:According to [[Special:log/import]] since the software started logging imports in late 2007 the right has been used a grand total of 171 times, with 97 of those uses being the same person on the same day in 2019. The claim that this would be used &quot;very often&quot; appears to have no basis in the available facts. A breakdown of yearly usage stats for this right:
{{collapse|
:*2022 - 1 import
:*2021 - 16 imports
:*2020 - 2 imports
:*2019 - 98 imports
:*2018 - no imports
:*2017 - no imports
:*2016 - 1 import
:*2015 - no imports
:*2014 - no imports
:*2013 - no imports
:*2012 - no imports
:*2011 - 16 imports
:*2010 - no imports
:*2009 - no imports
:*2008 - 37 imports}}
:There are also some parts of this proposal that seem bizarre and poorly thought out to me - e.g. why are you including autoconfirmed in this group? Anyone with this right should already be autoconfirmed - this isn't something that should be given to newbies. History merging is quite possibly the most dangerous user right on the site, and should not be given to anyone except admins who have the technical ability to fix any messes it creates. In what situations is the &quot;delete-redirect&quot; right going to be useful - pages don't need to have the exact same name on all wikis, and if there's an existing template redirect in the way importing a new template over the top of it could cause a disaster. &quot;Supress redirect&quot; seems to be unrelated to the act of actually importing pages and seems to have been chucked in so you can history merge stuff? Wikiquote also already has the unused [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=import importer] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=transwiki transwiki importers] user groups, which seem to do exactly what you're already asking for.
:I don't know if wikiquote allows IP votes in policy decisions, but I would '''Oppose''' this proposal on the basis that the import functionality is so rarely used that the current workload can easily be handled by existing admins, this particular proposal seems to be poorly thought out and bundles a load of rights together that are, at best, tangentially related to importing pages, and that user groups to allow users to import pages already exist. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 20:09, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::# Autoconfirmed is a basic right.
::# How is history merging the most dangerous???
::# Delete-redirect is '''required''' for this to be done properly '''most''' of the time.
::::* Because it is needed if new revisions are added to the page that the revisions are being imported from.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:18, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::Also, '''please''' read the banner at the top. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:19, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|192.76.8.85}} Does this count as a vote or comment. (I am assuming a vote for the timebeing) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:25, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I don't know why you're directing me to read your idiotically large, obnoxious banner (made extra large and obnoxious in response to my comment!) and to ask you for technical explanations when your responses here are utter nonsense and demonstrate that you don't actually understand what you're proposing.
:::*''Autoconfirmed is a basic right.'' - yes, which is why it is utterly pointless to bundle it into an advanced user right supposed to be given to trusted members of the community.  Everyone who is granted the import right will already be autoconfirmed. There is no point giving them the right again, it makes as much sense as giving the &lt;code&gt;edit&lt;/code&gt; right to admins.
:::*''How is history merging the most dangerous???'' - because it can easily make an enormous mess and it has no &quot;undo&quot; functionality. If you accidentally merge together two pages with long co-existent history the only way to unmerge them is to delete the page then manually undelete individual revisions one at a time to separate the page histories out again. Fixing a history merge mistake can take literally hours. It is also completely unnecessary for importers to have this right because it is already built into the import function.
:::*''Delete-redirect is required for this to be done properly most of the time. Because it is needed if new revisions are added to the page that the revisions are being imported from.'' - this makes no sense at all, I actually cannot understand what you are trying to say here. The import function can directly add old revisions to an existing page, you just set the import location to the title of the extant page - you don't have to import pages to some other title then merge them together afterwards.
:::You can consider this to be a vote. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 20:50, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::* History merge '''is''' necessary for the follow reason:
::::** Let’s say that Person 1 ''manually'' imports Page 1 to Page 2, then Person 2 (who is an importer) wants to properly import the revisions, but in between these two events Person 3 has modified Page 1, this would cause the import to fail. So what the importer would do is:
::::**# Import the original page to Page 3.
::::**# Merge all revisions in Page 3 (before Person 1 copied Page 1 to Page 2) into Page 2.
::::**# Redirect Page 2 to Page 3.
::::**# Merge all revisions before the redirect in Page 2 into Page 3.
::::**# Use &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; to delete Page 2.
::::**# Use &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; to move Page 3 to Page 2.
::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:59, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::This doesn't make any kind of sense. You import the page with it's whole history, split the history via the history merge function (?), then combine the history back together, then delete the mess of pages you created? What you would end up with if you followed those instructions is page 3 with the entire edition history of persons 1 2 and 3 included?
:::::Again, this work flow is complete and utter nonsense. If you want to perform an import and merge revisions into existing page then you just have to tell the import tool to include history information, and the merge will be done for you. If you just want to import the revisions from before the history fork then make an XML dump of the revisions you want and import that. There is no need at all for this histmerge and redirect mess.
:::::Fundamentally though fixing history forking issues is not a job for page importers - it is a job for administrators who have access to the proper page deletion, undeletion and history toolbox. It makes no sense to give users some administrative tools to allow them to, via a unnecessarily convoluted methods, fix an issue that has never actually occurred to date. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:33, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I have this issue very often, that's why I proposed it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:36, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|Koavf}} Is history merge very dangerous? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:43, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::What &quot;issue&quot; are you actually having, because &quot;import revisions from another wiki and merge them into an existing page&quot; is functionality that the import tool already has - you don't need all the extra user rights to do it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::I meant merging within a wiki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:47, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::&quot;merging within a wiki&quot; is not a part of any sensible workflow for importing pages. User rights should be set up as groups of related rights that multiple people should find useful, that have similar access requirements, and generally the ability to do an action should be bundled with the ability to undo it. Creating a user group isn't an opportunity to put together a &quot;grab bag&quot; of rights that you personally think you would like. An &quot;importer&quot; right should just contain the stuff needed to import pages, i.e. &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt;. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:57, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::That why is called &quot;'''revision''' importer&quot; and not just &quot;importer&quot;. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:58, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::And what is the supposed difference between this &quot;revision importer&quot; and the regular &quot;importer&quot; right? You can already import revisions and add them to the history of pages using the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; rights. To me this looks like a combination of you not actually knowing what the import right does, a bunch of utterly bizarre suggestions (like the bundled autoconfirmed right) and you trying to make your own personal user group with just the stuff you want in it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 22:03, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::Maybe &quot;revision editor&quot; or &quot;revision manager&quot; would be a more accurate title? Also, this isn't just for me. If it was, it would also include many other rights (e.g. rollback, templateeditor). – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:06, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::We already have a user group that allows certain people to edit page histories, they're called &quot;administrators&quot;. I do not think a user group which allows editors to screw up page histories but does not include the tools to fix them is a good idea. ''this isn't just for me.'' seems to be in direct contradiction to your statement below that the big issue with the existing importer groups is that ''Neither of which fully covers my needs.'' which is it - a general &quot;importer&quot; group for everyone, or a user group specifically tailored to what you want to do. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:41, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::A revision editor would be for '''revisions''', not general administrative rights. Revisions editing includes imports. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:42, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::What is the difference between &quot;general administrative rights&quot; and &quot;revision&quot; rights. They are, as far as I can tell, the same thing. Pages on wikis are nothing but a string of revisions, how is messing around with revisions a distinct operation from messing around with pages? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:50, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::I didn’t say it ''was'' used very often, I said it ''would'' be used very often, '''if implemented'''. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:15, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*I got pinged here from enwiki: enwikiquote already has local admins which have transwiki access, and if there is a good reason this community needs xmlimports the &quot;importer&quot; group could also be added via the existing group process. xmlimport can be &quot;dangerous&quot; so I'd suggest that you not add it to anyone that wouldn't otherwise qualify as an interface admin here. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:25, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:{{ping|Xaosflux}} This would only be given to users who are '''at least''' as trustworthy as interface admins. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:29, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::{{ping|Xaosflux}} Also, could you ask me more questions, so you could come to a final decision? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:31, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::I don't really consider myself part of the enwikiquote community - the primary governance of permissions for this project belongs to them. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:36, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::{{ping|Xaosflux}} Please, very few regulars here actually vote in these. Outside feedback would be very helpful. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:38, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:wikiquote already has [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=import importer] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=transwiki transwiki importer] groups, but they're not currently used. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:35, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::Neither of which fully covers my needs. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:37, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
{{discussion-closed-bottom}}

== Reverse-protection cross-(wiki?) RfC (phab) ==

What is your opinion on [[phab:T312835|this]] feature request? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:45, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== QOTD emergency ==

{{:WQT:PAA|hide=false}} QOTD is missing! {{done}} by Kalki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:22, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
: I just posted it a couple minutes ago — it is certainly NOT any extraordinary emergency. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:25, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Kalki}} Was already marking as fixed while you were leaving your comment. In-fact a got an edit conflict message. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:27, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{redlink|Redlinks}} on the front page are a pretty big deal. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:07, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} Absolutely agreed. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:38, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, please stop pinging all administrators. If there is genuinely an emergency like this that needs an admin, please make your way to [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Notice about the revision importer proposal ==

Originally it was planned to be a discussion only for feedback and improvement, and not a vote since it was nowhere near done. But it accidentally turned into a vote, and as such, failed, as I could provide sufficient information about purpose or how it would work. I will be closing it shortly. I will start a new only for feedback and not voting, after I think it is sufficiently done, I will start a new vote. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:54, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Feedback on proposal for new user right ==

{{Notice box|text='''This is not a vote,''' this is simply a discussion related to improving and fixing potential issues with this proposal, users who oppose this may provide feedback on how to make it less unappealing to them, but if you are entirely against it and have no constructive feedback to offer, '''do not comment here.'''&lt;br&gt;&lt;big&gt;You may also ask questions here, '''regardless of what you think of the proposal.'''&lt;/big&gt;}}

This is a proposal for a 'revision importer' right, this would be primarily used for cross-wiki importing, though it will also be used for other purposes.

This is needed because a lot of pages and templates that exist on other wikis do not exist here. Also, this can also be used for importing lost pages from dead wikis. (e.g. simple English Wikiquote)

This right would be appointed by bureaucrats.

Here are the user rights it is planned to contain so far:

{{:User:Ilovemydoodle/proposal/usergroups/revision importer}}

Here are the reasons for each right:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; — Self-explanatory.
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; — Self-explanatory. Also helpful for mass-importing pages and in cases where revisions need to manually be modified.
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — This is needed if a template that has been imported, has been updated on another wiki.
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; — If an imported page is on the title blacklist.
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; — Potential rate limit issues. (this might not be neccessary)
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Similar to &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Same as &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; — Security reasons as with other rights.

=== Examples ===

Here are some examples where this right would preform better than regular importers or administrators.

==== 1 ====

Let’s say that Person 1 ''manually'' imports Page 1 to Page 2, then Person 2 (who is a revision importer) wants to properly import the revisions, but in between these two events, Person 3 has modified Page 1, this would mean that if it was imported traditionally it would either fail, or would appear to succeed, but all revisions in-between wouldn't be valid for this wiki. (e.g. if a template has to have all mentions of 'Wikipedia' changed to 'Wikiquote', this is pretty obvious, but you could imagine more subtle issues). Then, if someone didn't like certain changes that were made, and rolled-back to an earlier revision, the new versiom wouldn't be valid for this wiki. With this type of importing, the revision import could manually edit the revisions before importing, so all revision would be valid. This could be done via the following process: 

# Import the original page (from the other wiki) to Page 3.
# Merge all revisions in Page 3 (before Person 1 copied Page 1 to Page 2) into Page 2.
# Redirect Page 2 to Page 3.
# Merge all revisions before the redirect in Page 2 into Page 3.
# Use &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; to delete Page 2.
# Use &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; to move Page 3 to Page 2.

=== Comments ===

– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:07, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|AC9016|Nihonjoe|Antandrus|Koavf|Stang|ShakespeareFan00|Rubbish computer|Dave Braunschweig|Atcovi|Ottawahitech}} Thoughts? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:29, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

Why are you wasting everyone's time by repeating the exact same discussion as above which will lead to the exact same conclusion? This is an terrible idea for a user group - it is completely redundant to the existing &quot;import&quot; group, contains a load of disjointed and disconnected rights that have no business being bundled together and per the discussion above the proposer is unable to justify why this group should exist or what purpose it is supposed to serve. Going through the list of rights:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; — Not enabled anywhere for any user group, even stewards. Has the ability to crash medium to large wikis, so the devs are unlikely to approve enabling. The proposer doesn't appear to understand what this does, it has nothing to do with templates, it's intended for content pages, when you export a page with this setting enabled it also exports all linked pages, and all pages linked to those pages and so on until you hit the depth limit.
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, Import can already merge page histories, extremely dangerous and can easily make a huge mess, should remain restricted to administrators.
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded. Not a frequently occurring issue, if a title is deemed unsuitable by the blacklist it can just be imported to a different title, pages don't need to have the same name everywhere.
* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, no-one should be importing pages so quickly they hit the rate limit.
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded - everyone even being considered for import user rights should be autoconfirmed.
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, not related to importing pages, only included because the proposer apparently doesn't understand how importing pages works.
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, not related to importing pages, only included because the proposer apparently doesn't understand how importing pages works.
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
The &quot;proposed&quot; user rights are not possible to implement (the database doesn't track which revisions have been imported) would not get past wmf legal (you cannot view any kind of deleted content without passing an RFA or equivalent process) and duplicate existing admin functionality.

My opinion is that the proposer here does not understand what they are proposing, how user rights work, how importing work and has no idea what this user group is supposed to be used for. I am unimpressed that rather than answering the question &quot;what is this supposed to be used for and how is it different from importer/administrator rights&quot; they have decided to shut down the discussion above and start another one on exactly the same thing. I am even more unimpressed that they have left another &quot;notice&quot; telling people that unless they are coming here to tell them how amazing their idea is they are unwelcome to comment. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:54, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''This is not a vote,''' please read the header. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:55, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::Can you please point out where I voted? '''Please read my comment'''. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:56, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::&lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; — This might a problem, I will look into this. Thanks for the feedback.
:::&lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::&lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; Not frequent, but if you are importing a lot of pages, this could be an issue.
:::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Specific cases (e.g. second account, changing accounts, bots, etc.), also there is no harm to adding this right.
:::&lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::&lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:03, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::You haven't &quot;explained &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt;. You've posted a completely ridiculous workflow which would involve using them to do something the import right can already do.
::::Why would &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; be useful? What kinds of pages are you intending to import where the title would be so terrible it would hit an entry on the blacklist.
::::&lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; you clearly do not understand what this does, I'll give you a clue, it has nothing to do with the &quot;amount of data&quot; that you're sending to the server. Another clue, import actions aren't even rate limited.
::::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; why on earth would you include a user right that the person already has? It's a complete waste of time. If for some reason you need to import pages using a brand new alt account why couldn't you do the normal thing, and assign the user the &quot;confirmed&quot; user rights?
::::You still haven't answered the fundamental question - what is this right supposed to do that the &quot;import&quot; right can't already do, and why do you need all these extra user rights to re-implement functionality that already exists. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 02:16, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::How do you ''modify'' a revision with regular import? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:22, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::You can use the &quot;import from a file&quot; option and edit the XML before you upload it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:05, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::...which would require the removal and replacement of the existing revisions. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:09, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Why would you be replacing revisions with things that didn't actually exist? The whole point of the page history is to serve as the legally required record of who contributed what content to a page - there is no situation whatsoever where it would be appropriate to replace actual revisions with stuff you made up. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:12, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Please see example 1. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:13, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::example 1 is a completely ridiculous workflow that only demonstrates that you don't actually understand how anything works. Even so, at what stage of example 1 do you need to make up revisions that don't actually exist? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::Anywhere between 2 and 4. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:21, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:This user right would '''not''' allow a user to view deleted content. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:12, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::The &lt;code&gt;view-deleted-imported-revision&lt;/code&gt; would fall afoul of [[meta:Limits to configuration changes]], specifically ''Allow non-admins to view deleted stuff''. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 02:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::It would only allow the viewing of content deleted using this right, which would be stored separately to admin-deleted content. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Again, you don't appear to understand how anything actually works. Mediawiki doesn't store deleted revisions separately, they're in the main revision table but flagged as deleted. Non-admins are banned from viewing deleted content, it doesn't matter how it was deleted or what user right was involved. This is a hard limit by the WMF legal department and cannot be overturned via feature requests or consensus. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:08, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::There is a way of storing it separately. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:09, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Not in the current version of Mediawiki there isn't. Even suppressed material is stored in the main revision table with the &lt;code&gt;DELETED_RESTRICTED&lt;/code&gt; flag set. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::It would be stored in the main archive table, it would be differentiated using the unused field &lt;code&gt;ar_flags&lt;/code&gt; – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:20, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Do you think more should be addressed in this proposal? If so, what? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:50, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::No. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:37, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|Koavf}} Sorry, I just realized this now, I meant to say &quot;more questions addressed&quot;. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:53, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Not really. I just think this is your proposal. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:24, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Do you support it so far? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:25, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|koavf}} Also, what do you think the requirements to get this right should be? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:29, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Just asking for them and the community voting, just like with other rights. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:46, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I don't object, but I don't have strong feelings on it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:47, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

I'm not a frequent contributor to Wikiquote, but I was asked to comment. I don't see a problem with the overall proposal if it meets a community need. However, I would not include &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt;. There's almost no legitimate reason for a human being to trigger that limit. Save that right for bots. -- [[User:Dave Braunschweig|Dave Braunschweig]] ([[User talk:Dave Braunschweig|talk]]) 16:58, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:06, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
*First of all, you should not have started another discussion. It was going fine and people were still giving their opinions on it. In fact there was a point I wanted to respond to you on but couldn't because you closed the discussion. Secondly, seeing as 50% of people opposed, and only 30% supported, I'm just curious why you are still trying to push this idea and encouraging others to not oppose it despite quite a clear result voting-wise but also consensus-wise that the community doesn't want this. And I'm especially concerned about how you have closed another discussion and opened another one where apparently if you are entirely against the proposal, you are not allowed to comment. This makes it harder to find the community consensus that seemed to quite clearly be &quot;we don't want this.&quot; --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:42, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:The main issue provided was that there wasn’t any reason to do this (because I did not include one in the original vote), so I am trying to redo this in a better way. Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:44, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::You could have always edited the reason in the original discussion, and that would have had the benefit of not freezing the discussion for everyone else who participated... --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:50, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::Well, I am redoing the ''whole'' proposal, so most of those votes won't matter anymore. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:53, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::It seems like the proposal is very similar to the one you just suggested. Just because ''you'' don't think those &quot;votes&quot; don't matter anymore doesn't mean you should move to a completely different discussion on the exact same topic, with some bizarre restrictions on what I should comment and what I should not. I see no reason for you to have opened another discussion and am considering merging it so the community are more aware about what your plans are. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:46, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::::The original vote was poorly conceived, this is my second attempt, please don't associate this with the original. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:50, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::::Sorry but I see no reason to not associate this with the original proposal. Yes, there are a couple of changes based on feedback, however your proposal is essentially the same, but instead, you have decided to discourage people opposed to it from commenting. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 09:13, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
*Ok seeing as my opinion is clear at this point - that giving importer to non-admins is generally a bad idea - let's focus on the problems with this proposal. Autoconfirmed is unnecessary. It shouldn't affect rate limit, for autoconfirmed users. Merge history is not needed, although I'm unsure if this is included within importer - you can just import the page again, or update it manually for situations where it's updated on one wiki but not another - which is rare. tboverride - not sure when an imported page would ever be on the title blacklist? Overall, seems as though even more unnecessary admin-level tools are going into a right where not as much trust is necessary. If a person needs this many rights, why not get admin?? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:40, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== Sorry ==

For leaving feedback requests on far too many user pages, I have stopped, and will only ask users that are actually interested, and can help. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Movement Strategy and Governance News - Issue 7 ==

&lt;div style = &quot;line-height: 1.2&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:200%;&quot;&gt;'''Movement Strategy and Governance News'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:120%; color:#404040;&quot;&gt;'''Issue 7, July-September 2022'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:120%; float:right;&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7|'''Read the full newsletter''']]&lt;/span&gt; 
----
Welcome to the 7th issue of Movement Strategy and Governance News! The newsletter distributes relevant news and events about the implementation of Wikimedia's [[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy/Initiatives|Movement Strategy recommendations]], other relevant topics regarding Movement governance, as well as different projects and activities supported by the Movement Strategy and Governance (MSG) team of the Wikimedia Foundation.  

The MSG Newsletter is delivered quarterly, while the more frequent [[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy/Updates|Movement Strategy Weekly]] will be delivered weekly. Please remember to subscribe [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Global message delivery/Targets/MSG Newsletter Subscription|here]] if you would like to receive future issues of this newsletter.
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;margin-top:3px; padding:10px 10px 10px 20px; background:#fffff; border:2px solid #808080; border-radius:4px; font-size:100%;&quot;&gt; 

* '''Movement sustainability''': Wikimedia Foundation's annual sustainability report has been published. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A1&lt;/tvar&gt;|continue reading]])
* '''Improving user experience''': recent improvements on the desktop interface for Wikimedia projects. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A2|continue reading]])
* '''Safety and inclusion''': updates on the revision process of the Universal Code of Conduct Enforcement Guidelines. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A3|continue reading]])
* '''Equity in decisionmaking''': reports from Hubs pilots conversations, recent progress from the Movement Charter Drafting Committee, and a new white paper for futures of participation in the Wikimedia movement. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A4|continue reading]])
* '''Stakeholders coordination''': launch of a helpdesk for Affiliates and volunteer communities working on content partnership. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A5|continue reading]])
* '''Leadership development''': updates on leadership projects by Wikimedia movement organizers in Brazil and Cape Verde. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A6|continue reading]])
* '''Internal knowledge management''': launch of a new portal for technical documentation and community resources. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A7|continue reading]])
* '''Innovate in free knowledge''': high-quality audiovisual resources for scientific experiments and a new toolkit to record oral transcripts. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A8|continue reading]])
* '''Evaluate, iterate, and adapt''': results from the Equity Landscape project pilot ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A9|continue reading]])
*
'''Other news and updates''': a new forum to discuss Movement Strategy implementation, upcoming Wikimedia Foundation Board of Trustees election, a new podcast to discuss Movement Strategy, and change of personnel for the Foundation's Movement Strategy and Governance team. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A10|continue reading]])

&lt;/div&gt;&lt;section end=&quot;msg-newsletter&quot;/&gt;

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 22:59, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Announcing the six candidates for the Board of Trustees election ==

:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election/Short|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election/Short}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi everyone,

The Affiliate Representatives have completed their voting period. The selected 2022 Board of Trustees candidates are:

* Tobechukwu Precious Friday ([[:m:User:Tochiprecious|Tochiprecious]])
* Farah Jack Mustaklem ([[:m:User:Fjmustak|Fjmustak]])
* Shani Evenstein Sigalov ([[:m:User:Esh77|Esh77]])
* Kunal Mehta ([[:m:User:Legoktm|Legoktm]])
* Michał Buczyński ([[:m:User:Aegis Maelstrom|Aegis Maelstrom]])
* Mike Peel ([[:m:User:Mike Peel|Mike Peel]])

You may see more information about the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Results|Results]] and [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Stats|Statistics]] of this Board election.

The Affiliate organizations selected representatives to vote on behalf of the Affiliate organization. The Affiliate Representatives proposed questions for the candidates to answer in mid-June. These answers from candidates and the information provided from the Analysis Committee provided support for the representatives as they made their decision.

Please take a moment to appreciate the Affiliate Representatives and Analysis Committee members for taking part in this process and helping to grow the Board of Trustees in capacity and diversity. These hours of volunteer work connect us across understanding and perspective. Thank you for your participation.

Thank you to the community members who put themselves forward as candidates for the Board of Trustees. Considering joining the Board of Trustees is no small decision. The time and dedication candidates have shown to this point speaks to their commitment to this movement. Congratulations to those candidates who have been selected. A great amount of appreciation and gratitude for those candidates not selected. Please continue to share your leadership with Wikimedia.

What can voters do now?

[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Results|Review the results of the Affiliate selection process]].

[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election|Read more here about the next steps in the 2022 Board of Trustee election]].

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''&lt;/translate&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;section end=&quot;announcement-content&quot; /&gt;

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 19:35, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== Let's talk about the Desktop Improvements ==

[[File:Vector 2022 showing language menu with a blue menu trigger and blue menu items 01.jpg|thumb]]
Join an online meeting with the team working on the [[mw:Reading/Web/Desktop Improvements|Desktop Improvements]]! It will take place on '''26 July 2022 at [https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?iso=20220726T1200 12:00 UTC] and [https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?iso=20220726T1900 19:00 UTC]''' on Zoom. '''[https://wikimedia.zoom.us/j/5304280674 Click here to join]'''. Meeting ID: 5304280674. [https://wikimedia.zoom.us/u/kc2hamfYz9 Dial by your location].

[[mw:Special:MyLanguage/Reading/Web/Desktop Improvements/Updates/Talk to Web|Read more]]. See you! [[User:SGrabarczuk (WMF)|SGrabarczuk (WMF)]] ([[User talk:SGrabarczuk (WMF)|talk]]) 16:19, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:SGrabarczuk (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:SGrabarczuk_(WMF)/sandbox/MM/En_fallback&amp;oldid=23430301 --&gt;

== Vote for Election Compass Statements ==

:''[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements|You can find this message translated into additional languages on Meta-wiki.]]''
:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi all,

Volunteers in the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] are invited to [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass/Statements|vote for statements to use in the Election Compass]]. You can vote for the statements you would like to see included in the Election Compass on Meta-wiki.

An Election Compass is a tool to help voters select the candidates that best align with their beliefs and views. The community members will propose statements for the candidates to answer using a Lickert scale (agree/neutral/disagree). The candidates’ answers to the statements will be loaded into the Election Compass tool. Voters will use the tool by entering in their answer to the statements (agree/disagree/neutral). The results will show the candidates that best align with the voter’s beliefs and views.

Here is the timeline for the Election Compass:

*&lt;s&gt;July 8 - 20: Volunteers propose statements for the Election Compass&lt;/s&gt;
*&lt;s&gt;July 21 - 22: Elections Committee reviews statements for clarity and removes off-topic statements&lt;/s&gt;
*July 23 - August 3: Volunteers vote on the statements
*August 4: Elections Committee selects the top 15 statements
*August 5 - 12: candidates align themselves with the statements
*August 16: The Election Compass opens for voters to use to help guide their voting decision

The Elections Committee will select the top 15 statements at the beginning of August


Best, 

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 17:20, 26 July 2022 (UTC)

== Names for cleanup categories ==

Hello,

I'm going to start localising a load of imported clean-up templates over the next few weeks, and I wanted some feedback from the community on what terminology to use for the associated categories. Some of these clean-up templates sort main space pages into categories of the form &quot;Articles needing foo&quot;, some of them sort them into categories of the form &quot;Wikiquote pages needing foo&quot; (and some templates have been half-localised and sort them into both!). What is the preferred terminology for these kind of pages? &quot;Article&quot; or &quot;Wikiquote pages&quot;? Just thought I'd get some feedback before editing dozens of templates and making dozens of categories. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:18, 28 July 2022 (UTC)

:Content in the main namespace can be &quot;articles&quot; for sure, especially if that makes it easier. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:04, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:Koavf|Koavf]] Thanks, that's really helpful. I'll make a start localising and cleaning up these templates so they don't sort pages into nonsense like [[:Category:Wikipedia external links cleanup]].
::There's one other template I'd like some feedback on, {{tl|cleanup}}. This template seems to have been hijacked and now does a completley different function to when it was a wikiquote specific one; it used to be for articles that didn't fit into any of the specific cleanup categories, now it's a generic &quot;tag everything&quot; type template. As it stands this template has been copied from the English Wikipedia and has a lot of complexity and features that don't make sense here. As I see it there are a few ways we could move forward with this template:
::# Roll it back to the old, wikiquote specific version
::# Try to localise the current template properly (I'm not keen on this, it is way too complex and has way too much subcategorization for a project of this size).
::# Try to simplify the new template to produce something that works well on this project.
::# Remake the template in the new style, but replicating the functionality of the old clean-up template as much as possible.
::There are also a couple of features of the new style template that I'd like to get some feedback on whether they're actually useful here, to start:
::# The new template asks you to submit a reason when tagging a page for cleanup, is this required on this project and is populating [[:Creating Category:Cleanup tagged articles without a reason field]] useful?
::# Is categorising pages by namespace useful? e.g. sorting pages into &quot;Wikiquote categories needing cleanup&quot;, &quot;Wikiquote templates needing cleanup&quot;, &quot;Wikiquote Articles needing cleanup&quot; etc? My gut feeling is no, given that there are less than 100 pages tagged in total.
::As you might be able to tell I'm a bit lost when it comes to figuring out what to do with {{tl|cleanup}}. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:43, 30 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I don't think that this project is big or active enough to need to be sorted by namespace with cleanup templates. If you think it's best to revert back to how this template functioned back in April, then I support that. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:56, 31 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Thanks, I'll give it a few days to see if anyone else has any comments, if not I'll revert back to the old version of the template. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 16:43, 1 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::Reverted back to the old version since no objections were raised. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 15:14, 6 August 2022 (UTC)

== Decorative quotation templates ==

What is the community's opinion on decorative quotation templates like [[Template:Blockquote]]? The [[Wikiquote:Manual of style|manual of style]] and [[Wikiquote:Guide to layout|guide to layout]] says that articles should be composed of plain bulleted lists, but these templates have been added to a few places, e.g. [[Jill Biden]]. Should they be removed, or should the manual of style be updated to allow them? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 15:46, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
:I am not a fan. I see it as a similar discussion regarding the bolding of quotes. To me the different ways of presenting quotes is a bit jarring and there does nto seem to be any criteria used for which quotes use this alternate style. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 16:26, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
* It's useful on other projects. But it's a little like having a specially formatted box on Wikipedia for prose. Uh...prose is kindof the main point of the project. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 16:39, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
*I am also not a fan - I'd prefer as little markup as possible in our pages, since I think markup is off-putting for newbies. Text only is good. I personally tend to be a minimalist on such stuff. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 18:46, 3 August 2022 (UTC)

== If you love somebody, let them go ==

&quot;If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.&quot;&lt;br style=&quot;margin-bottom:0.5em&quot;/&gt;Seems attributed to [[Kahlil Gibran]] by random image search results. A similar variant &quot;If you love something, let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever.&quot; is attributed to [[w:en:Douglas Horton]] by [http://www.quotehd.com/quotes/douglas-horton-clergyman-if-you-love-something-let-it-go-free-if-it-doesnt-come-back another random image search result]. Is either of these correct? If not, perhaps the misattribution could be mentioned on [[Kahlil Gibran]]? &lt;span id=&quot;Alexis_Jazz:1659594815083:WikiquoteBWLCLNVillage_pump&quot; class=&quot;BawlCmt&quot;&gt;[[User:Alexis Jazz|Alexis Jazz]] ([[User talk:Alexis Jazz|talk]]) 06:33, 4 August 2022 (UTC)&lt;/span&gt;

== Any tutorials?  ==

Hi Wikiquote friends, I'm TheAafi, and I mostly contribute on English Wikipedia. I happen to be founder of [[:m:Deoband Community Wikimedia|Deoband Community Wikimedia]], a recognized Wikimedia user group affiliate. I recently organized a series of events to bring attention of DCW volunteers to Wikiquote (see: [[:m:Deoband Community Wikimedia/Events/Wikiquote Delhi August 2022|this page for details]]). Is there any training material already available that I could utilize for this purpose. If not, DCW would be like to aid in this necessary endeavor. Regards, ─ [[User:TheAafi|&lt;span style=&quot;color:SteelBlue&quot;&gt;The Aafī&lt;/span&gt;]] &lt;sup&gt;[[User talk:TheAafi|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#80A0FF&quot;&gt;&lt;sup&gt;(talk)&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/sup&gt; 13:14, 11 August 2022 (UTC)

== Delay of the 2022 Wikimedia Foundation Board of Trustees election ==

Hi all,

I am reaching out to you today with an update about the timing of the voting for the Board of Trustees election.

As many of you are already aware, this year we are offering an [[metawiki:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass|Election Compass]] to help voters identify the alignment of candidates on some key topics. Several candidates requested an extension of the character limitation on their responses expanding on their positions, and the Elections Committee felt their reasoning was consistent with the goals of a fair and equitable election process.

To ensure that the longer statements can be translated in time for the election, the Elections Committee and Board Selection Task Force decided to delay the opening of the Board of Trustees election by one week - a time proposed as ideal by staff working to support the election.

Although it is not expected that everyone will want to use the Election Compass to inform their voting decision, the Elections Committee felt it was more appropriate to open the voting period with essential translations for community members across languages to use if they wish to make this important decision.

The voting will open on August 23 at 00:00 UTC and close on September 6 at 23:59 UTC.

Please find this message translated in additional languages [[m:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Delay of Board of Trustees election|here]].

Best regards,

On behalf of the Elections Committee

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 09:23, 16 August 2022 (UTC)

== Invitation to join Movement Strategy Forum ==

Hello everyone,

The [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/ Movement Strategy Forum] (MS Forum) is a multilingual collaborative space for all conversations about Movement Strategy implementation. It provides a great opportunity to share your Movement Strategy(MS) work, find collaborators, and get even more support and ideas for your MS projects. We are inviting all Movement participants to collaborate on the MS Forum. The goal of the forum is to build community collaboration using an inclusive multilingual platform. 

The [[metawiki:Movement Strategy|Movement Strategy]] is a collaborative effort to imagine and build the future of the Wikimedia Movement. Anyone can contribute to the Movement Strategy, from a comment to a full-time project. 

Join this forum with your Wikimedia account, say hi [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/t/say-hello/79 here] and go ahead and join or start a conversation on the recommendation you are most passionate about! Feel free to discuss your MS project ideas and plans or even reports from MS projects you have worked on.  To get started, you can also watch [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/t/a-walk-through-the-movement-strategy-forum/1431 this video].

The Movement Strategy and Governance team (MSG) launched the proposal for this MS Forum in May. After a 2-month review period, we have just published the [https://forum.movement-strategy.org/t/ms-forum-community-review-report/1436 Community Review Report]. It includes a summary of the discussions, metrics, and information about the next steps.

We look forward to seeing you at the MS Forum! 

Best regards,

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 09:40, 19 August 2022 (UTC)

== The 2022 Board of Trustees Election Community Voting period is now open  ==

:''[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/The 2022 Board of Trustees election Community Voting period is now open|You can find this message translated into additional languages on Meta-wiki.]]''
:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/The 2022 Board of Trustees election Community Voting period is now open|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/The 2022 Board of Trustees election Community Voting period is now open}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi everyone,

The Community Voting period for the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] is now open. Here are some helpful links to get you the information you need to vote:

*  Try the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass|Election Compass]], showing how candidates stand on 15 different topics.
* [[m:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Campaign Videos|Watch the candidate videos]] or read the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Candidates|candidate statements]] and [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Affiliate_Organization_Participation/Candidate_Questions|answers to Affiliate questions]]
* [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Apply to be a Candidate|Learn more about the skills the Board seeks]] and how the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Candidates|Analysis Committee found candidates align with those skills]]

If you are ready to vote, you may go to [[Special:SecurePoll/vote/Wikimedia_Foundation_Board_Elections_2022|SecurePoll voting page]] to vote now. '''You may vote from August 23 at 00:00 UTC to September 6 at 23:59 UTC.''' To see about your voter eligibility, please visit the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Voter_eligibility_guidelines|voter eligibility page]].

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 21:12, 23 August 2022 (UTC)

== RevDel policy ==

Revision deletion has been used 278 times this year and 86 times across the whole of 2021... so, it's clear revision deletion on this wiki is becoming more used and fast. I think it's only right with increasing RevDel use to have a RevDel policy. While admins have RevDel reasons they can give when deleting a revision from public view, some are broad. These options are the following:
*Copyright violation
*Inappropriate comment
*Inappropriate username
*Potentially libelous information
*Personal information

A few personal comments about this:
#Inappropriate comment specifically is extremely broad. What does an inappropriate comment mean? Would calling someone stupid be eligible under this option? Or would the comment have to be more disruptive? Note that revision deletion was not created to deal with &quot;ordinary&quot; incivility.
#Potentially libelous information and Personal information should ''not'' be openly dealt with by admins, to avoid the [[Streisand effect]], and should instead be dealt with by oversighters. We currently do not have any local oversighters, so we contact stewards privately if oversight is needed here. These two options shouldn't be part of a RevDel policy, in my opinion.
#Regardless of policy, options that should be used for oversight should be separated from common delete options to avoid extra attention.

I have a few ideas for future RevDel options, and if there's a consensus for them, these should be noted down on a Wikiquote: page as a policy, potentially as an addition to [[Wikiquote:Deletion policy]] or by creating [[Wikiquote:Revision deletion policy]], also depending on the community's preference. These options can be changed on [[MediaWiki:Revdelete-reason-dropdown]].

I would appreciate anyone's opinions for these ideas, that are inspired by enwiki's [[w:Wikipedia:Revision deletion|revision deletion policy]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

=== RD1: Blatant violations of the copyright policy ===
This would be fairly basic, a replacement to our current option &quot;Copyright violation&quot;. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
==== RD1 Comments ====
* {{support}} Sensible and it helps keep this a free culture community. While very unlikely, it also shields us from legal risk. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:49, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

=== RD2: Grossly insulting, degrading, or offensive material ===
A diff that has little to no project value whatsoever - for example, slurs, smears and grossly inappropriate material that has no project value, but not &quot;ordinary&quot; incivility, personal attacks or conduct accusations. If a page has a grossly improper title, the page title can be deleted in the creation and deletion logs too. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

==== RD2 Comments ====
* {{support}} Per [[:w:en:WP:DENY]]. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:53, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

=== RD3: Purely disruptive material ===
Purely disruptive material that does not help the project at all - for example, harassment, grossly inappropriate threats or attacks, malicious HTML or CSS, shock pages, phishing or virus pages, or web pages that disparage or threaten someone and serve no valid purpose. Spam links are not covered under this policy. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

==== RD3 Comments ====
* {{support}} This adds no value and actually detracts, so deny it as well. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:54, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

=== Other RevDel ideas? ===
Any other ideas for a RevDel policy can be put as another section with ===, above this one. Thanks for your input and help. -- [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

:Re: oversighters, we can go ahead and delete inappropriate material ASAP and then ''also'' ask for an office action to remove it entirely from the database, so that even admins can't view it. Removing the material shouldn't be gated by complete deletion. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:55, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
::{{u|Koavf}}, with that, yes, my point was that inappropriate material should be deleted, but not under the reason of personal information. So for example, deleting it under something that may not technically apply while admins wait for oversight/office actions, to avoid attention from other users/admins. I'm still thinking about how we could write this in our policy...--[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 18:22, 27 August 2022 (UTC)</text>
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    </revision>
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    <title>Charles Babbage</title>
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      <text bytes="33450" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Charles Babbage by Samuel Laurence.jpg|thumb|If we look at the fact, we shall find that the great inventions of the age are not, with us at least, always produced in universities.]]
'''[[w:Charles Babbage|Charles Babbage]]''' ([[26 December]], [[1791]] – [[18 October]], [[1871]]) was an English [[mathematician]], [[philosopher|analytical philosopher]] and the first [[computer scientist]] who originated the idea of a [[computer|programmable computer]]. [[Ada Lovelace]] worked for him.

== Quotes ==
* [[w:John Herschel|Mr. Herschel]] ... brought with him the calculations of the computers, and we commenced the tedious process of verification. After a time many discrepancies occurred, and at one point these discordances were so numerous that I exclaimed, &quot;I wish to [[God]] these calculations had been executed by steam,&quot; to which Herschel replied, &quot;It is quite possible.&quot;
**Babbage in November 1839, recalling events in 1821; quoted in Harry Wilmot Buxton and Anthony Hyman (1988), ''Memoir of the Life and Labours of the Late Charles Babbage''. &quot;Computers&quot; here refers to people calculating by hand.

* If this were true, the [[population]] of the world would be at a stand-still. In truth, the rate of birth is slightly in excess of death. I would suggest that the next edition of your poem should read: '''“Every moment dies a man, every moment 1 &lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;/&lt;sub&gt;16&lt;/sub&gt; is born.”''' Strictly speaking, the actual figure is so long I cannot get it into a line, but I believe the figure 1 &lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;/&lt;sub&gt;16&lt;/sub&gt; will be sufficiently accurate for poetry.
** ''New Scientist'', 4 December 1958, pg.1428.
** Comment in response to [[Alfred Tennyson]]’s poem ''Vision of Sin'', which included the line ''Every moment dies a man, // every moment one is born.''

=== ''Reflections on the Decline of Science in England, and on Some of its Causes'' (1830) ===
''Reflections on the Decline of Science in England, and on Some of its Causes'' (1830)

* It is therefore not unreasonable to suppose that some portion of the neglect of science in England, may be attributed to the system of education we pursue. A young man passes from our public schools to the universities, ignorant of almost every branch of useful knowledge; and at these latter establishments … classical and mathematical pursuits are nearly the sole objects proposed to the student's ambition.
** p. 3

* If we look at the fact, we shall find that the great inventions of the age are not, with us at least, always produced in universities. The doctrines of &quot;definite proportions,&quot; and of the &quot;chemical agency of electricity,&quot;—principles of a high order, which have immortalized the names of their discoverers,—were not produced by the meditations of the cloister: nor is it in the least a reproach to those valuable institutions to mention truths like these. '''Fortunate circumstances must concur, even to the greatest, to render them eminently successful. It is not permitted to all to be born, like [[Archimedes]], when a science was to be created; nor, like [[Newton]], to find the system of the world &quot;without form and void;&quot; and, by disclosing gravitation, to shed throughout that system the same irresistible radiance as that with which the [[God|Almighty Creator]] had illumined its material substance. It can happen to but few philosophers, and but at distant intervals, to snatch a science, like [[John Dalton|Dalton]], from the chaos of indefinite combination, and binding it in the chains of number, to exalt it to rank amongst the exact.''' Triumphs like these are necessarily &quot;few and far between;&quot;, nor can it be expected that that portion of encouragement, which a country may think fir to bestow on science, should be adapted to meet such instances. Too extraordinary to be frequent, they must be left, if they are to be encouraged at all, to some direct interference of the governemeɳt.&lt;br/&gt; The dangers to be apprehended from such a specific interference, would arise from one, or several of the following circumstance:—That class of society, from whom the government is selected, might not possess sufficient knowledge either to judge themselves, or know upon whose judgment to rely. Or the number of persons devoting themselves to science, might not be sufficiently large to have due weight in the expression of public opinion. Or, supposing this class to be large, it might not enjoy, in the estimation of the world, a sufficiently high character for independence. Should these causes concur in any country, it might become highly injurious to commit the encouragement of science to any department of the government. This reasoning does not appear to have escaped the penetration of those who advised the abolition of the late Board of Longitude.&lt;br/&gt;The question whether it is good policy in the government of a country to encourage science, is one of which those who cultivate it are not perhaps the most unbiased judges. In England, those who have hitherto pursued science, have in general no very reasonable grounds of complaint; they knew, or should have known, that there was no demand for it, that it led to little honour, and to less profit.&lt;br/&gt;That blame has been attributed to the government for not fostering the science of the country is certain; and, as far as regards past administrations, is, to a great extent, just; with respect to the present ministers, whose strength essentially depends on public opinion, it is not necessary that they should precede, and they cannot remain long insensible to any expression of the general feeling. But supposing science were thought of some importance by any administration, it would be difficult in the present state of things to do much in its favour; because, on the one hand, the higher classes in general have not a profound knowledge of science, and, on the other, those persons whom they have usually consulted, seem not to have given such advice as to deserve the confidence of government. It seems to be forgotten, that the money allotted by government to purposes of science ought to be expended with the same regard to prudence and economy as in the disposal of money in the affairs of private life.
** [http://www.gutenberg.org/files/1216/1216-h/1216-h.htm p. 21]

=== ''On the Economy of Machinery and Manufactures,'' 1832/1841 ===
Charles Babbage, ''[https://books.google.nl/books?id=wUQeMa0MFnkC On the Economy of Machinery and Manufactures]'' (1832)

* The object of the present volume is to point out the effects and the advantages which arise from the use of tools and machines ;—to endeavour to classify their modes of action ;—and to trace both the causes and the consequences of applying machinery to supersede the skill and power of the human arm.
** Preface

* The errors which arise from the absence of facts are far more numerous and more durable than those which result from unsound reasoning respecting true data.
** p. 156. Ch. 17 &quot;Of Price as Measured by Money&quot;

* The first application of this principle [of the division of labor] must have been made in a very early stage of [[society]]; for it must soon have been apparent that more comforts and conveniences could be acquired by one man restricting his occupation to the art of making bows, another to that of building houses, a third boats, and so on. This [[division of labor]] Into trades was not, however, the result of an opinion that the general riches of the community would be increased by such an arrangement: but it must have arisen from the circumstances, of each individual so employed discovering that he himself could thus make a greater profit of his labour than by pursuing more varied occupations.
** p. 170. Ch 19. &quot;On the division of labour&quot;

* It appears to me, that any explanation of the cheapness of manufactured articles, as consequent upon the [[division of labour]], would be incomplete if the following principle were omitted to be stated.
:'''''That the master manufacturer, by dividing the work to be executed into different processes, each requiring different degrees of skill or of force, can purchase exactly that precise quantity of both which is necessary for each process; whereas, if the whole work were executed by one workman, that person must possess sufficient skill to perform the most difficult, and sufficient strength to execute the most laborious, of the operations into which the art is divided.'''''
:* p. 175-6

* We have already mentioned what may, perhaps, appear paradoxical to some of our readers, — that the division of labour can be applied with equal success to mental as to mechanical operations, and that it ensures in both the same economy of time.
** p. 191; Ch. 20. &quot;On the division of [[mental labour]]&quot;

* The establishment of &quot;The Times&quot; newspaper is an example, on a large scale, of a manufactory in which the division of labour, both mental and bodily, is admirably illustrated, and in which also the effect of domestic economy is well exemplified. It is scarcely imagined, by the thousands who read that paper in various quarters of the globe, what a scene of organized activity the factory presents during the whole night, or what a quantity of talent and mechanical skill is put in action for their amusement and information.
** p. 270; Ch. 28 &quot;Proper circumstances for the application of machinery.&quot;

=== ''The Exposition of 1851: Views Of The Industry, The Science, and the Government Of England,'' 1851 ===
{{cite book | last = Babbage | first = Charles | title = The Exposition of 1851: Views Of The Industry, The Science, and the Government Of England | publisher=John Murray | year = 1851 | location = London | url = http://books.google.com/?id=NZcBAAAAQAAJ&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;dq=charles+babbage }}

[[File:The Great Industrial Exhibition of 1851. Plate 2. The Foreign Nave by Joseph Nash.jpg|thumb|240px|[[:w:The Great Exhibition|The Great Industrial Exhibition]] of 1851.]]
* [[England|ENGLAND]] has invited the civilized world to meet in its great commercial centre; asking it, in friendly rivalry, to display for the common advantage of all, those objects which each country derives from the gifts of nature, and on which it confers additional utility by processes of [[industrial art]].&lt;br&gt;This invitation, universally accepted, will bring from every quarter a multitude of people greater than has yet assembled in any western city: these welcome visitors will enjoy more time and opportunity for observation than has ever been afforded on any previous occasion. The [[statesman]] and the [[philosopher]], the [[manufacturer]] and the [[merchant]], and all enlightened observers of human nature, may avail themselves of the opportunity afforded by their visit to this Diorama of the Peaceful Arts, for taking a more correct view of the [[industry]], the [[science]], the institutions, and the [[government]] of this country. One object of these pages is, to suggest to such inquirers the agency of those deeper seated and less obvious causes which can be detected only by lengthened observation, and to supply them with a key to explain many of the otherwise incomprehensible characteristics of England.
** p. v-vi: Preface

* The triumph of the [[industrial art]]s will advance the cause of civilization more rapidly than its warmest advocates could have hoped, and contribute to the permanent prosperity and strength of the country far more than the most splendid victories of successful war.
** p. xii-xiii; Cited in: [[Samuel Smiles]] ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=5trBcaXuazgC&amp;pg=PA104 Industrial biography; iron-workers and tool-makers],''  (1864) p. 104

* There are in the [[:w:The Great Exhibition|Exhibition]] some beautiful examples of such {{w|lace}} amongst the productions of other countries as well as of our own. They are made by the united labour of many women. The [[cost]] of a piece of lace will consist of:
:# The remuneration to the artist who designs the pattern.
:# The cost of the raw material.
:# The cost of the labour of a large number of women working on it for many months.
:Let us compare this with the cost of a piece of statuary, which is undoubtedly of a much higher class of art ; it will consist of:
:# The remuneration to the artist who makes the model.
:# The cost of the raw material.
:# The [[cost of labour]], by assistants in cutting the block to the pattern of the model.
:# Finishing the statue by the artist himself.
:In lace making the skill of the artist is required only for the production of the first example. Every succeeding copy is made by mere labour: each copy may be considered as an individual, and will cost the same amount of time.
:In sculpture the three first processes are quite analogous to those in lace-making. But the fourth process requires the taste and judgment of the artist. It is this which causes it to retain its rank amongst the fine arts, whilst lacemaking must still be classed amongst the [[industrial]].
:* p. 49-50

* In the making both of lace and of statues, the {{w|remuneration}} to the [[artist]]s can only be reduced by producing a larger number of them through more extended [[education]]. The expense of the raw material is small in both. The expense of [[labour]] in lacemaking is very large, and it is perhaps considerable also in [[sculpture]]. The discovery of more convenient localities yielding marble, may make some diminution in its cost; and the improved manufacture of thread may slightly reduce the price of lace. A reduction in the price of labour may to a very moderate extent reduce the cost of the raw material of both. But it is evident that any ''very great reduction'' is not to be expected.&lt;br&gt;Let us now contrast this possible reduction with the past history of some [[industrial art]]. The plain {{w|lace}} made at {{w|Nottingham}}, called patent net, will supply us with a good example. In the year 1813 that lace was sold in the piece at the rate of 218. a-yard. At the present time lace of the same kind, but of a better quality, is sold under the same circumstances at 3d. per yard. Thus, in less than forty years the price of the industrial produce has diminished to one eighty-fourth part of its original price.
:* p. 51-52

* [[Machinery]] of a very beautiful kind has been contrived for copying accurately, on a reduced or an enlarged scale, both medals and statues. The {{w|Venus de Medici}} itself could not be justly excluded from a purely industrial exhibition, if, placed in the centre of a series diminishing on the one side to a statuette of a foot high, and increasing on the other to a figure double her own height. Such a series, though fairly introduced as an illustration of [[industrial art]], would, indeed, itself be highly interesting to the [[fine arts]], as exhibiting the effect of change of magnitude, when the proportions remain identical.
** p. 52-53

* The successful construction of all [[machinery]] depends on the perfection of the tools employed; and whoever is a master in the arts of tool-making possesses the key to the construction of all machines... The contrivance and construction of tools must therefore ever stand at the head of the {{w|industrial arts}}.
** p. 173; As cited in: [[Samuel Smiles]] (1864) ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=5trBcaXuazgC&amp;pg=PA245 Industrial biography; iron-workers and tool-makers],'' p. 245

* It is not uninteresting to observe in society the opinions of its different classes respecting honours conferred on science. Military and naval men, especially the most eminent, feel that genius is limited by no profession, and themselves sympathizing with it, would gladly hail as brothers in the same distinction, the philosopher and the poet. With lawyers the case is reversed ; genius dwells not in their courts : industry and acuteness, monopolised by one absorbing professional subject, exclude larger views; and ribbons not being amongst the honoraria of their own profession, they reprobate their application to science. To this there are, however, some noble exceptions. Amongst the brightest ornaments, of their own profession, men are to be found of larger experience and more extended views than it often produces, who are themselves qualified to have become discoverers in other sciences. It is much to be regretted when such powers are applied to the mere administration, instead of to the reformation, of the laws of their country.
** p. 224

* It is difficult to pronounce on the opinion of the ministers of our Church as a body: one portion of them, by far '''the least informed''', protests against anything which can advance the honour and the interests of science, because, '''in their limited and mistaken view, science is adverse to religion'''. This is not the place to argue that great question. It is sufficient to remark, that '''the best-informed and most enlightened men of all creeds and pursuits, agree that truth can never damage truth, and that every truth is allied indissolubly by chains more or less circuitous with all other truths'''; whilst error, at every step we make in its diffusion, becomes not only wider apart and more discordant from all truths, but has also the additional chance of destruction from all rival errors. 
** p. 225

* The Church has been reproached with endeavouring to appropriate to itself all those professorships in our Universities which are connected with science: it is however certain that the larger portion of these ill-remunerated offices have been filled by clergymen.
** p. 225

* But a much graver charge attaches itself, if not to our clergy, certainly to those who have the distribution of ecclesiastical patronage. The richest Church in the world maintains that its funds are quite insufficient for the purposes of religion and that our working clergy are ill-paid, and church accommodation insufficient. It calls therefore upon the nation to endow it with larger funds, and yet, while reluctant to sacrifice its own superfluities, it approves of its rich sinecures being given to reward, — not the professional service of its indefatigable parochial clergy, but those of its members who, having devoted the greater part of their time to scientific researches, have political or private interest enough to obtain such advancement. But '''this mode of rewarding merit is neither creditable to the Church nor advantageous to science.''' It tempts into the Church talents which some of its distinguished members maintain to be naturally of a disqualifying, if not of an antagonistic nature to the pursuits of religion; whilst, on the other hand, it makes a most unjust and arbitrary distinction amongst men of science themselves. It precludes those who cannot conscientiously subscribe to Articles, at once conflicting and incomprehensible, from the acquisition of that preferment and that position in society, which thus in many cases, must be conferred on less scrupulous, and certainly less distinguished inquirers into the works of nature. As the honorary distinctions of orders of knight hood are not usually bestowed on the clerical profession, its members generally profess to entertain a great contempt for them, and pronounce them unfit for the recognition of scientific merit.
** p. 225-226

=== ''Passages from the Life of a Philosopher'' (1864) ===
[[File:CharlesBabbage.jpg|thumb|right|As soon as an Analytical Engine exists, it will necessarily guide the future course of the science.]]
[[File:Charles Babbage Difference Engine No. 2 Computer History Museum in Mountian View California.jpg|thumb|right|The whole of arithmetic now appeared within the grasp of mechanism.]]
* On two occasions I have been asked, — &quot;Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?&quot; In one case a member of the Upper, and in the other a member of the Lower, House put this question. '''I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.'''
** ''Passages from the Life of a Philosopher'' (1864), ch. 5 &quot;Difference Engine No. 1&quot;

* '''The whole of arithmetic now appeared within the grasp of mechanism.'''
** ''Passages from the Life of a Philosopher'' (1864), ch. 8 &quot;Of the Analytical Engine&quot;

* '''As soon as an Analytical Engine exists, it will necessarily guide the future course of the science.''' Whenever any result is sought by its aid, the question will then arise — by what course of calculation can these results be arrived at by the machine in the shortest time?
** ''Passages from the Life of a Philosopher'' (1864), ch. 8 &quot;Of the Analytical Engine&quot;

* It is difficult to estimate the misery inflicted upon thousands of persons, and the absolute pecuniary penalty imposed upon multitudes of intellectual workers by the loss of their time, destroyed by organ-grinders and other similar nuisances.
** ''Passages from the Life of a Philosopher'' (1864), ch. 26 &quot;Street Nuisances&quot;

*  There remains a third source from which we arrive at the knowledge of the existence of a supreme Creator, namely, from an ''examination of his works''. Unlike transmitted testimony, which is weakened at every stage, this evidence derives confirmation from the progress of the individual as well as from the advancement of the knowledge of the race. &lt;br/&gt;'''Almost all thinking men who have studied the laws which govern the animate and the inanimate world around us, agree that the belief in the existence of one [[God|Supreme Creator]], possessed of infinite wisdom and power, is open to far less difficulties than the supposition of the absence of any cause, or of the existence of a ''plurality'' of causes.'''
** &quot;[https://archive.org/stream/passagesfromlif01babbgoog#page/n10/mode/2up Passages from the life of a philosopher]&quot;, The Belief In The Creator From His Works, p. 400-401

* '''In the ''works'' of the Creator ever open to our examination, we possess a firm basis on which to raise the superstructure of an enlightened creed. The more man inquires into the laws which regulate the material universe, the more he is convinced that all its varied forms arise from the action of a few simple principles.''' These principles themselves converge, with accelerating force, towards some still more comprehensive law to which all matter seems to be submitted. Simple as that law may possibly be, it must be remembered that it is only one amongst an infinite number of simple laws: that each of these laws has consequences at least as extensive as the existing one, and therefore that the Creator who selected the present law must have foreseen the consequences of all other laws. '''The ''works'' of the Creator, ever present to our senses, give a living and perpetual testimony of his power and goodness far surpassing any evidence transmitted through human testimony. The testimony of man becomes fainter at every stage of transmission, whilst each new inquiry into the works of the Almighty gives to us more exalted views of his wisdom, his goodness, and his power.'''
** &quot;Passages from the life of a philosopher&quot;, The Belief In The Creator From His Works, p. 402 

* In the course of my inquiries, I met with the work upon the ''Trinity'', by Dr. [[w:Samuel Clarke|Samuel Clarke]]. This I carefully examined, and although very far from being satisfied, I ceased from further inquiry. This change arose probably from my having acquired the much more valuable work of the same author, on the Being and Attributes of God. This I studied, and felt that its doctrine was much more intelligible and satisfactory than that of the former work. I may now state, '''as the result of a long life spent in studying the works of the Creator, that I am satisfied they afford far more satisfactory and more convincing proofs of the existence of a supreme Being than any evidence transmitted through human testimony can possibly supply.'''
** &quot;Passages from the life of a philosopher&quot;, The Athanasian Creed , p. 403 

* '''The true value of the [[Christianity|Christian religion]] rests, not upon speculative views of the Creator, which must necessarily be different in each individual, according to the extent of the knowledge of the finite being, who employs his own feeble powers in contemplating the infinite : but it rests upon those doctrines of kindness and benevolence which that religion claims and enforces, not merely in favour of man himself but of every creature susceptible of pain or of happiness.'''
** &quot;Passages from the life of a philosopher&quot;, The Basis Of Virtue Is Truth, p. 404-405

* It has always occurred to my mind that many difficulties touching Miracles might be reconciled, if men would only take the trouble to agree upon the nature of the phenomenon which they call ''Miracle''. That writers do not always mean the same thing when treating of miracles is perfectly clear; because what may appear a miracle to the unlearned is to the better instructed only an effect produced by some unknown law hitherto unobserved. So that the idea of miracle is in some respect dependent upon the opinion of man. Much of this confusion has arisen from the definition of Miracle given in [[Hume]]'s celebrated Essay, namely, that it is the ''&quot;violation of a law of nature.&quot;'' Now a miracle is not necessarily a violation of any law of nature, and it involves no physical absurdity. As Brown well observes, ''&quot;the laws of nature surely are not violated when a new antecedent is followed by a new consequent ; they are violated only when the antecedent, being exactly the same, a different consequent is the result;&quot;'' so that a miracle has nothing in its nature inconsistent with our belief of the uniformity of nature. All that we see in a miracle is an effect which is new to our observation, and whose cause is concealed. The cause may be beyond the sphere of our observation, and would be thus beyond the familiar sphere of nature; but this does not make the event a violation of any law of nature. '''The limits of man's observation lie within very narrow boundaries, and it would be [[arrogance]] to suppose that the reach of man's power is to form the limits of the natural world. The universe offers daily proof of the existence of power of which we know nothing, but whose mighty agency nevertheless manifestly appears in the most familiar works of creation.''' And shall we deny the existence of this mighty energy simply because it manifests itself in delegated and feeble subordination to God's omnipotence? 
** &quot;Passages from the life of a philosopher&quot;, Appendix: Miracle. Note (A)

* There is nothing in the nature of a miracle that should render it incredible: its credibility depends upon the nature of the evidence by which it is supported. An event of extreme probability will not necessarily command our belief unless upon a sufficiency of proof; and so an event which we may regard as highly improbable may command our belief if it is sustained by sufficient evidence. So that the credibility or incredibility of an event does not rest upon the nature of the event itself, but depends upon the nature and sufficiency of the proof which sustains it.
** &quot;Passages from the life of a philosopher&quot;, Appendix: Miracle. Note (A), p. 88

* [[Mill]], in speaking of [[Hume]]'s celebrated principle, &quot;''that nothing is credible which is contradictory to experience, or at variance with the laws of nature,&quot;'' calls it a very plain and harmless proposition, being, in effect, nothing more than that whatever is contradictory to a complete induction is incredible. Admit the existence of a Deity, and the possibility of a miracle is the natural consequence. No doubt our examination of the evidence which sustains an unusual phenomenon should be most carefully conducted; but '''we must not measure the credibility or incredibility of an event by the narrow sphere of our own experience, nor forget that there is a Divine energy which overrides what we familiarly call the laws of nature.'''
** &quot;Passages from the life of a philosopher&quot;, Appendix, p. 488

* We must be careful to discriminate between our own incapacity to test truth and the necessary improbability of an event. It is plain that from our ignorance of the remote spheres of God's action we cannot judge of His works removed from our experience; but a fact is not necessarily doubtful because it cannot be reached by our ordinary senses. To recapitulate, we may lay down the following propositions: &lt;br/&gt;1. That there is no real physical distinction between miracles and any other operations of the Divine energy : that we regard them differently is because we are familiar with one order of events and not the other. &lt;br/&gt;2. There is nothing incredible in a miracle, and the credibility of a miraculous event is to be measured only by the evidence which sustains it. And although the extraordinary character of a phenomenon may render the event itself improbable, it does not, therefore, necessarily render it either incredible or untrue.
** &quot;Passages from the life of a philosopher&quot;, Appendix, p. 489

* If we define a miracle as an effect of which the cause is unknown to us, then we make our ignorance the source of miracles! and the universe itself would be a standing miracle. A miracle might be perhaps defined more exactly as an effect which is not the consequence or effect of any known laws of nature.
** &quot;Passages from the life of a philosopher&quot;, Appendix, p. 489

* Miracles may be, for anything we know to the contrary, phenomena of a higher order of God's laws, superior to, and, under certain conditions, controlling the inferior order known to us as the ordinary laws of nature.
** &quot;Passages from the life of a philosopher&quot;, Appendix, p. 490

* The foundation of all religion is the belief in a God, and that He exists in certain relation with His creatures. Such belief necessarily leads to the consciousness of some obligation towards the Deity ; and this consciousness suggests the duty of worship ; and in the selection of the form of this worship originates the various creeds which distinguish and distract mankind. There is a sort of geography of religion ; and I regret to think that the majority of mankind take their creed from the clime in which they happen to be born ; and that many, and not an inconsiderable portion of mankind, suffer the sacred torch to burn out altogether, in their contact with the world, and then vainly imagine that they can recover the sacred fire by striking a park out of dogmatic theology.
** &quot;Passages from the life of a philosopher&quot;, Appendix: Religion, Note (B) pp. 491-492

== Attributed ==
* '''Errors using inadequate data are much less than those using no data at all.'''
**Quoted in William Kenneth Richmond (1969), ''The Education Industry''.
***May be modern paraphrase of &quot;the errors which arise from the absence of facts&quot; quote above.

* Propose to any Englishman any principle, or any instrument, however admirable, and you will observe that the whole effort of the English mind is directed to find a difficulty, a defect, or an impossibility in it. If you speak to him of a machine for peeling a potato, he will pronounce it impossible; if you peel a potato with it before his eyes, he will declare it useless because it will not slice a pineapple. Impart the same principle or show the same machine to an American or to one of our Colonists and you will observe that the whole effort of his mind is to find some new application of the principle, some new use for the instrument.
**Quoted in Richard H. Babbage (1948), &quot;The Work of Charles Babbage&quot;, [https://archive.org/details/proceedingsofsym0000symp_y9e6/page/20/mode/2up?q=%22Propose+to+any+Englishman%22 ''Annals of the Computation Laboratory of Harvard University'', vol. 16]
*** Excerpt listed online, here: http://www.ed-thelen.org/bab/bab_philosopher.html

== Quotes about Charles Babbage ==
* Babbage was one of the founders of the Cambridge Analytical Society whose purpose he stated was to advocate &quot;the principles of pure d-ism as opposed to the dof-age of the university.
** [[W. W. Rouse Ball]], ''History of Mathematics,'' (London, 1901), p. 451

* The Economy of Manufactures established Babbage's position as a [[political economist]] and its influence is well attested, particularly on [[John Stuart Mill]] and [[Karl Marx]]. Babbage's pioneering discussion of the effect of technical development on the size of industrial organizations was followed by Mill and the prediction of the continuing increase in the size of factories, often cited as one of Marx's successful economic predictions, in fact derives from Babbage's analysis... Babbage wrote with many talents: a natural philosopher and mechanical engineer, his knowledge of factory and workshop practice was encyclopaedic; he was well-versed in relevant business practice; and he was without rival as a mathematician among contemporary British political economists.
** Anthony Hyman. ''Charles Babbage: pioneer of the computer.'' Princeton University Press, 1982. p.103–4

== External links ==
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      <text bytes="33603" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Charles Babbage by Samuel Laurence.jpg|thumb|If we look at the fact, we shall find that the great inventions of the age are not, with us at least, always produced in universities.]]
'''[[w:Charles Babbage|Charles Babbage]]''' ([[26 December]], [[1791]] – [[18 October]], [[1871]]) was an English [[mathematician]], [[philosopher|analytical philosopher]] and the first [[computer scientist]] who originated the idea of a [[computer|programmable computer]]. [[Ada Lovelace]] worked for him.

== Quotes ==
* [[w:John Herschel|Mr. Herschel]] ... brought with him the calculations of the computers, and we commenced the tedious process of verification. After a time many discrepancies occurred, and at one point these discordances were so numerous that I exclaimed, &quot;I wish to [[God]] these calculations had been executed by steam,&quot; to which Herschel replied, &quot;It is quite possible.&quot;
**Babbage in November 1839, recalling events in 1821; quoted in Harry Wilmot Buxton and Anthony Hyman (1988), ''Memoir of the Life and Labours of the Late Charles Babbage''. &quot;Computers&quot; here refers to people calculating by hand.

* If this were true, the [[population]] of the world would be at a stand-still. In truth, the rate of birth is slightly in excess of death. I would suggest that the next edition of your poem should read: '''“Every moment dies a man, every moment 1 &lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;/&lt;sub&gt;16&lt;/sub&gt; is born.”''' Strictly speaking, the actual figure is so long I cannot get it into a line, but I believe the figure 1 &lt;sup&gt;1&lt;/sup&gt;/&lt;sub&gt;16&lt;/sub&gt; will be sufficiently accurate for poetry.
** ''New Scientist'', 4 December 1958, pg.1428.
** Comment in response to [[Alfred Tennyson]]’s poem ''Vision of Sin'', which included the line ''Every moment dies a man, // every moment one is born.''

=== ''Reflections on the Decline of Science in England, and on Some of its Causes'' (1830) ===
''Reflections on the Decline of Science in England, and on Some of its Causes'' (1830)

* It is therefore not unreasonable to suppose that some portion of the neglect of science in England, may be attributed to the system of education we pursue. A young man passes from our public schools to the universities, ignorant of almost every branch of useful knowledge; and at these latter establishments … classical and mathematical pursuits are nearly the sole objects proposed to the student's ambition.
** p. 3

* If we look at the fact, we shall find that the great inventions of the age are not, with us at least, always produced in universities. The doctrines of &quot;definite proportions,&quot; and of the &quot;chemical agency of electricity,&quot;—principles of a high order, which have immortalized the names of their discoverers,—were not produced by the meditations of the cloister: nor is it in the least a reproach to those valuable institutions to mention truths like these. '''Fortunate circumstances must concur, even to the greatest, to render them eminently successful. It is not permitted to all to be born, like [[Archimedes]], when a science was to be created; nor, like [[Newton]], to find the system of the world &quot;without form and void;&quot; and, by disclosing gravitation, to shed throughout that system the same irresistible radiance as that with which the [[God|Almighty Creator]] had illumined its material substance. It can happen to but few philosophers, and but at distant intervals, to snatch a science, like [[John Dalton|Dalton]], from the chaos of indefinite combination, and binding it in the chains of number, to exalt it to rank amongst the exact.''' Triumphs like these are necessarily &quot;few and far between;&quot;, nor can it be expected that that portion of encouragement, which a country may think fir to bestow on science, should be adapted to meet such instances. Too extraordinary to be frequent, they must be left, if they are to be encouraged at all, to some direct interference of the governemeɳt.&lt;br/&gt; The dangers to be apprehended from such a specific interference, would arise from one, or several of the following circumstance:—That class of society, from whom the government is selected, might not possess sufficient knowledge either to judge themselves, or know upon whose judgment to rely. Or the number of persons devoting themselves to science, might not be sufficiently large to have due weight in the expression of public opinion. Or, supposing this class to be large, it might not enjoy, in the estimation of the world, a sufficiently high character for independence. Should these causes concur in any country, it might become highly injurious to commit the encouragement of science to any department of the government. This reasoning does not appear to have escaped the penetration of those who advised the abolition of the late Board of Longitude.&lt;br/&gt;The question whether it is good policy in the government of a country to encourage science, is one of which those who cultivate it are not perhaps the most unbiased judges. In England, those who have hitherto pursued science, have in general no very reasonable grounds of complaint; they knew, or should have known, that there was no demand for it, that it led to little honour, and to less profit.&lt;br/&gt;That blame has been attributed to the government for not fostering the science of the country is certain; and, as far as regards past administrations, is, to a great extent, just; with respect to the present ministers, whose strength essentially depends on public opinion, it is not necessary that they should precede, and they cannot remain long insensible to any expression of the general feeling. But supposing science were thought of some importance by any administration, it would be difficult in the present state of things to do much in its favour; because, on the one hand, the higher classes in general have not a profound knowledge of science, and, on the other, those persons whom they have usually consulted, seem not to have given such advice as to deserve the confidence of government. It seems to be forgotten, that the money allotted by government to purposes of science ought to be expended with the same regard to prudence and economy as in the disposal of money in the affairs of private life.
** [http://www.gutenberg.org/files/1216/1216-h/1216-h.htm p. 21]

=== ''On the Economy of Machinery and Manufactures,'' 1832/1841 ===
Charles Babbage, ''[https://books.google.nl/books?id=wUQeMa0MFnkC On the Economy of Machinery and Manufactures]'' (1832)

* The object of the present volume is to point out the effects and the advantages which arise from the use of tools and machines ;—to endeavour to classify their modes of action ;—and to trace both the causes and the consequences of applying machinery to supersede the skill and power of the human arm.
** Preface

* The errors which arise from the absence of facts are far more numerous and more durable than those which result from unsound reasoning respecting true data.
** p. 156. Ch. 17 &quot;Of Price as Measured by Money&quot;

* The first application of this principle [of the division of labor] must have been made in a very early stage of [[society]]; for it must soon have been apparent that more comforts and conveniences could be acquired by one man restricting his occupation to the art of making bows, another to that of building houses, a third boats, and so on. This [[division of labor]] Into trades was not, however, the result of an opinion that the general riches of the community would be increased by such an arrangement: but it must have arisen from the circumstances, of each individual so employed discovering that he himself could thus make a greater profit of his labour than by pursuing more varied occupations.
** p. 170. Ch 19. &quot;On the division of labour&quot;

* It appears to me, that any explanation of the cheapness of manufactured articles, as consequent upon the [[division of labour]], would be incomplete if the following principle were omitted to be stated.
:'''''That the master manufacturer, by dividing the work to be executed into different processes, each requiring different degrees of skill or of force, can purchase exactly that precise quantity of both which is necessary for each process; whereas, if the whole work were executed by one workman, that person must possess sufficient skill to perform the most difficult, and sufficient strength to execute the most laborious, of the operations into which the art is divided.'''''
:* p. 175-6

* We have already mentioned what may, perhaps, appear paradoxical to some of our readers, — that the division of labour can be applied with equal success to mental as to mechanical operations, and that it ensures in both the same economy of time.
** p. 191; Ch. 20. &quot;On the division of [[mental labour]]&quot;

* The establishment of &quot;The Times&quot; newspaper is an example, on a large scale, of a manufactory in which the division of labour, both mental and bodily, is admirably illustrated, and in which also the effect of domestic economy is well exemplified. It is scarcely imagined, by the thousands who read that paper in various quarters of the globe, what a scene of organized activity the factory presents during the whole night, or what a quantity of talent and mechanical skill is put in action for their amusement and information.
** p. 270; Ch. 28 &quot;Proper circumstances for the application of machinery.&quot;

=== ''The Exposition of 1851: Views Of The Industry, The Science, and the Government Of England,'' 1851 ===
{{cite book | last = Babbage | first = Charles | title = The Exposition of 1851: Views Of The Industry, The Science, and the Government Of England | publisher=John Murray | year = 1851 | location = London | url = http://books.google.com/?id=NZcBAAAAQAAJ&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;dq=charles+babbage }}

[[File:The Great Industrial Exhibition of 1851. Plate 2. The Foreign Nave by Joseph Nash.jpg|thumb|240px|[[:w:The Great Exhibition|The Great Industrial Exhibition]] of 1851.]]
* [[England|ENGLAND]] has invited the civilized world to meet in its great commercial centre; asking it, in friendly rivalry, to display for the common advantage of all, those objects which each country derives from the gifts of nature, and on which it confers additional utility by processes of [[industrial art]].&lt;br&gt;This invitation, universally accepted, will bring from every quarter a multitude of people greater than has yet assembled in any western city: these welcome visitors will enjoy more time and opportunity for observation than has ever been afforded on any previous occasion. The [[statesman]] and the [[philosopher]], the [[manufacturer]] and the [[merchant]], and all enlightened observers of human nature, may avail themselves of the opportunity afforded by their visit to this Diorama of the Peaceful Arts, for taking a more correct view of the [[industry]], the [[science]], the institutions, and the [[government]] of this country. One object of these pages is, to suggest to such inquirers the agency of those deeper seated and less obvious causes which can be detected only by lengthened observation, and to supply them with a key to explain many of the otherwise incomprehensible characteristics of England.
** p. v-vi: Preface

* The triumph of the [[industrial art]]s will advance the cause of civilization more rapidly than its warmest advocates could have hoped, and contribute to the permanent prosperity and strength of the country far more than the most splendid victories of successful war.
** p. xii-xiii; Cited in: [[Samuel Smiles]] ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=5trBcaXuazgC&amp;pg=PA104 Industrial biography; iron-workers and tool-makers],''  (1864) p. 104

* There are in the [[:w:The Great Exhibition|Exhibition]] some beautiful examples of such {{w|lace}} amongst the productions of other countries as well as of our own. They are made by the united labour of many women. The [[cost]] of a piece of lace will consist of:
:# The remuneration to the artist who designs the pattern.
:# The cost of the raw material.
:# The cost of the labour of a large number of women working on it for many months.
:Let us compare this with the cost of a piece of statuary, which is undoubtedly of a much higher class of art ; it will consist of:
:# The remuneration to the artist who makes the model.
:# The cost of the raw material.
:# The [[cost of labour]], by assistants in cutting the block to the pattern of the model.
:# Finishing the statue by the artist himself.
:In lace making the skill of the artist is required only for the production of the first example. Every succeeding copy is made by mere labour: each copy may be considered as an individual, and will cost the same amount of time.
:In sculpture the three first processes are quite analogous to those in lace-making. But the fourth process requires the taste and judgment of the artist. It is this which causes it to retain its rank amongst the fine arts, whilst lacemaking must still be classed amongst the [[industrial]].
:* p. 49-50

* In the making both of lace and of statues, the {{w|remuneration}} to the [[artist]]s can only be reduced by producing a larger number of them through more extended [[education]]. The expense of the raw material is small in both. The expense of [[labour]] in lacemaking is very large, and it is perhaps considerable also in [[sculpture]]. The discovery of more convenient localities yielding marble, may make some diminution in its cost; and the improved manufacture of thread may slightly reduce the price of lace. A reduction in the price of labour may to a very moderate extent reduce the cost of the raw material of both. But it is evident that any ''very great reduction'' is not to be expected.&lt;br&gt;Let us now contrast this possible reduction with the past history of some [[industrial art]]. The plain {{w|lace}} made at {{w|Nottingham}}, called patent net, will supply us with a good example. In the year 1813 that lace was sold in the piece at the rate of 218. a-yard. At the present time lace of the same kind, but of a better quality, is sold under the same circumstances at 3d. per yard. Thus, in less than forty years the price of the industrial produce has diminished to one eighty-fourth part of its original price.
:* p. 51-52

* [[Machinery]] of a very beautiful kind has been contrived for copying accurately, on a reduced or an enlarged scale, both medals and statues. The {{w|Venus de Medici}} itself could not be justly excluded from a purely industrial exhibition, if, placed in the centre of a series diminishing on the one side to a statuette of a foot high, and increasing on the other to a figure double her own height. Such a series, though fairly introduced as an illustration of [[industrial art]], would, indeed, itself be highly interesting to the [[fine arts]], as exhibiting the effect of change of magnitude, when the proportions remain identical.
** p. 52-53

* The successful construction of all [[machinery]] depends on the perfection of the tools employed; and whoever is a master in the arts of tool-making possesses the key to the construction of all machines... The contrivance and construction of tools must therefore ever stand at the head of the {{w|industrial arts}}.
** p. 173; As cited in: [[Samuel Smiles]] (1864) ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=5trBcaXuazgC&amp;pg=PA245 Industrial biography; iron-workers and tool-makers],'' p. 245

* It is not uninteresting to observe in society the opinions of its different classes respecting honours conferred on science. Military and naval men, especially the most eminent, feel that genius is limited by no profession, and themselves sympathizing with it, would gladly hail as brothers in the same distinction, the philosopher and the poet. With lawyers the case is reversed ; genius dwells not in their courts : industry and acuteness, monopolised by one absorbing professional subject, exclude larger views; and ribbons not being amongst the honoraria of their own profession, they reprobate their application to science. To this there are, however, some noble exceptions. Amongst the brightest ornaments, of their own profession, men are to be found of larger experience and more extended views than it often produces, who are themselves qualified to have become discoverers in other sciences. It is much to be regretted when such powers are applied to the mere administration, instead of to the reformation, of the laws of their country.
** p. 224

* It is difficult to pronounce on the opinion of the ministers of our Church as a body: one portion of them, by far '''the least informed''', protests against anything which can advance the honour and the interests of science, because, '''in their limited and mistaken view, science is adverse to religion'''. This is not the place to argue that great question. It is sufficient to remark, that '''the best-informed and most enlightened men of all creeds and pursuits, agree that truth can never damage truth, and that every truth is allied indissolubly by chains more or less circuitous with all other truths'''; whilst error, at every step we make in its diffusion, becomes not only wider apart and more discordant from all truths, but has also the additional chance of destruction from all rival errors. 
** p. 225

* The Church has been reproached with endeavouring to appropriate to itself all those professorships in our Universities which are connected with science: it is however certain that the larger portion of these ill-remunerated offices have been filled by clergymen.
** p. 225

* But a much graver charge attaches itself, if not to our clergy, certainly to those who have the distribution of ecclesiastical patronage. The richest Church in the world maintains that its funds are quite insufficient for the purposes of religion and that our working clergy are ill-paid, and church accommodation insufficient. It calls therefore upon the nation to endow it with larger funds, and yet, while reluctant to sacrifice its own superfluities, it approves of its rich sinecures being given to reward, — not the professional service of its indefatigable parochial clergy, but those of its members who, having devoted the greater part of their time to scientific researches, have political or private interest enough to obtain such advancement. But '''this mode of rewarding merit is neither creditable to the Church nor advantageous to science.''' It tempts into the Church talents which some of its distinguished members maintain to be naturally of a disqualifying, if not of an antagonistic nature to the pursuits of religion; whilst, on the other hand, it makes a most unjust and arbitrary distinction amongst men of science themselves. It precludes those who cannot conscientiously subscribe to Articles, at once conflicting and incomprehensible, from the acquisition of that preferment and that position in society, which thus in many cases, must be conferred on less scrupulous, and certainly less distinguished inquirers into the works of nature. As the honorary distinctions of orders of knight hood are not usually bestowed on the clerical profession, its members generally profess to entertain a great contempt for them, and pronounce them unfit for the recognition of scientific merit.
** p. 225-226

=== ''Passages from the Life of a Philosopher'' (1864) ===
[[File:CharlesBabbage.jpg|thumb|right|As soon as an Analytical Engine exists, it will necessarily guide the future course of the science.]]
[[File:Charles Babbage Difference Engine No. 2 Computer History Museum in Mountian View California.jpg|thumb|right|The whole of arithmetic now appeared within the grasp of mechanism.]]
* On two occasions I have been asked, — &quot;Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?&quot; In one case a member of the Upper, and in the other a member of the Lower, House put this question. '''I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.'''
** ''Passages from the Life of a Philosopher'' (1864), ch. 5 &quot;Difference Engine No. 1&quot;

* '''The whole of arithmetic now appeared within the grasp of mechanism.'''
** ''Passages from the Life of a Philosopher'' (1864), ch. 8 &quot;Of the Analytical Engine&quot;

* '''As soon as an Analytical Engine exists, it will necessarily guide the future course of the science.''' Whenever any result is sought by its aid, the question will then arise — by what course of calculation can these results be arrived at by the machine in the shortest time?
** ''Passages from the Life of a Philosopher'' (1864), ch. 8 &quot;Of the Analytical Engine&quot;

* It is difficult to estimate the misery inflicted upon thousands of persons, and the absolute pecuniary penalty imposed upon multitudes of intellectual workers by the loss of their time, destroyed by organ-grinders and other similar nuisances.
** ''Passages from the Life of a Philosopher'' (1864), ch. 26 &quot;Street Nuisances&quot;

*  There remains a third source from which we arrive at the knowledge of the existence of a supreme Creator, namely, from an ''examination of his works''. Unlike transmitted testimony, which is weakened at every stage, this evidence derives confirmation from the progress of the individual as well as from the advancement of the knowledge of the race. &lt;br/&gt;'''Almost all thinking men who have studied the laws which govern the animate and the inanimate world around us, agree that the belief in the existence of one [[God|Supreme Creator]], possessed of infinite wisdom and power, is open to far less difficulties than the supposition of the absence of any cause, or of the existence of a ''plurality'' of causes.'''
** &quot;[https://archive.org/stream/passagesfromlif01babbgoog#page/n10/mode/2up Passages from the life of a philosopher]&quot;, The Belief In The Creator From His Works, p. 400-401

* '''In the ''works'' of the Creator ever open to our examination, we possess a firm basis on which to raise the superstructure of an enlightened creed. The more man inquires into the laws which regulate the material universe, the more he is convinced that all its varied forms arise from the action of a few simple principles.''' These principles themselves converge, with accelerating force, towards some still more comprehensive law to which all matter seems to be submitted. Simple as that law may possibly be, it must be remembered that it is only one amongst an infinite number of simple laws: that each of these laws has consequences at least as extensive as the existing one, and therefore that the Creator who selected the present law must have foreseen the consequences of all other laws. '''The ''works'' of the Creator, ever present to our senses, give a living and perpetual testimony of his power and goodness far surpassing any evidence transmitted through human testimony. The testimony of man becomes fainter at every stage of transmission, whilst each new inquiry into the works of the Almighty gives to us more exalted views of his wisdom, his goodness, and his power.'''
** &quot;Passages from the life of a philosopher&quot;, The Belief In The Creator From His Works, p. 402 

* In the course of my inquiries, I met with the work upon the ''Trinity'', by Dr. [[w:Samuel Clarke|Samuel Clarke]]. This I carefully examined, and although very far from being satisfied, I ceased from further inquiry. This change arose probably from my having acquired the much more valuable work of the same author, on the Being and Attributes of God. This I studied, and felt that its doctrine was much more intelligible and satisfactory than that of the former work. I may now state, '''as the result of a long life spent in studying the works of the Creator, that I am satisfied they afford far more satisfactory and more convincing proofs of the existence of a supreme Being than any evidence transmitted through human testimony can possibly supply.'''
** &quot;Passages from the life of a philosopher&quot;, The Athanasian Creed , p. 403 

* '''The true value of the [[Christianity|Christian religion]] rests, not upon speculative views of the Creator, which must necessarily be different in each individual, according to the extent of the knowledge of the finite being, who employs his own feeble powers in contemplating the infinite : but it rests upon those doctrines of kindness and benevolence which that religion claims and enforces, not merely in favour of man himself but of every creature susceptible of pain or of happiness.'''
** &quot;Passages from the life of a philosopher&quot;, The Basis Of Virtue Is Truth, p. 404-405

* It has always occurred to my mind that many difficulties touching Miracles might be reconciled, if men would only take the trouble to agree upon the nature of the phenomenon which they call ''Miracle''. That writers do not always mean the same thing when treating of miracles is perfectly clear; because what may appear a miracle to the unlearned is to the better instructed only an effect produced by some unknown law hitherto unobserved. So that the idea of miracle is in some respect dependent upon the opinion of man. Much of this confusion has arisen from the definition of Miracle given in [[Hume]]'s celebrated Essay, namely, that it is the ''&quot;violation of a law of nature.&quot;'' Now a miracle is not necessarily a violation of any law of nature, and it involves no physical absurdity. As Brown well observes, ''&quot;the laws of nature surely are not violated when a new antecedent is followed by a new consequent ; they are violated only when the antecedent, being exactly the same, a different consequent is the result;&quot;'' so that a miracle has nothing in its nature inconsistent with our belief of the uniformity of nature. All that we see in a miracle is an effect which is new to our observation, and whose cause is concealed. The cause may be beyond the sphere of our observation, and would be thus beyond the familiar sphere of nature; but this does not make the event a violation of any law of nature. '''The limits of man's observation lie within very narrow boundaries, and it would be [[arrogance]] to suppose that the reach of man's power is to form the limits of the natural world. The universe offers daily proof of the existence of power of which we know nothing, but whose mighty agency nevertheless manifestly appears in the most familiar works of creation.''' And shall we deny the existence of this mighty energy simply because it manifests itself in delegated and feeble subordination to God's omnipotence? 
** &quot;Passages from the life of a philosopher&quot;, Appendix: Miracle. Note (A)

* There is nothing in the nature of a miracle that should render it incredible: its credibility depends upon the nature of the evidence by which it is supported. An event of extreme probability will not necessarily command our belief unless upon a sufficiency of proof; and so an event which we may regard as highly improbable may command our belief if it is sustained by sufficient evidence. So that the credibility or incredibility of an event does not rest upon the nature of the event itself, but depends upon the nature and sufficiency of the proof which sustains it.
** &quot;Passages from the life of a philosopher&quot;, Appendix: Miracle. Note (A), p. 88

* [[Mill]], in speaking of [[Hume]]'s celebrated principle, &quot;''that nothing is credible which is contradictory to experience, or at variance with the laws of nature,&quot;'' calls it a very plain and harmless proposition, being, in effect, nothing more than that whatever is contradictory to a complete induction is incredible. Admit the existence of a Deity, and the possibility of a miracle is the natural consequence. No doubt our examination of the evidence which sustains an unusual phenomenon should be most carefully conducted; but '''we must not measure the credibility or incredibility of an event by the narrow sphere of our own experience, nor forget that there is a Divine energy which overrides what we familiarly call the laws of nature.'''
** &quot;Passages from the life of a philosopher&quot;, Appendix, p. 488

* We must be careful to discriminate between our own incapacity to test truth and the necessary improbability of an event. It is plain that from our ignorance of the remote spheres of God's action we cannot judge of His works removed from our experience; but a fact is not necessarily doubtful because it cannot be reached by our ordinary senses. To recapitulate, we may lay down the following propositions: &lt;br/&gt;1. That there is no real physical distinction between miracles and any other operations of the Divine energy : that we regard them differently is because we are familiar with one order of events and not the other. &lt;br/&gt;2. There is nothing incredible in a miracle, and the credibility of a miraculous event is to be measured only by the evidence which sustains it. And although the extraordinary character of a phenomenon may render the event itself improbable, it does not, therefore, necessarily render it either incredible or untrue.
** &quot;Passages from the life of a philosopher&quot;, Appendix, p. 489

* If we define a miracle as an effect of which the cause is unknown to us, then we make our ignorance the source of miracles! and the universe itself would be a standing miracle. A miracle might be perhaps defined more exactly as an effect which is not the consequence or effect of any known laws of nature.
** &quot;Passages from the life of a philosopher&quot;, Appendix, p. 489

* Miracles may be, for anything we know to the contrary, phenomena of a higher order of God's laws, superior to, and, under certain conditions, controlling the inferior order known to us as the ordinary laws of nature.
** &quot;Passages from the life of a philosopher&quot;, Appendix, p. 490

* The foundation of all religion is the belief in a God, and that He exists in certain relation with His creatures. Such belief necessarily leads to the consciousness of some obligation towards the Deity ; and this consciousness suggests the duty of worship ; and in the selection of the form of this worship originates the various creeds which distinguish and distract mankind. There is a sort of geography of religion ; and I regret to think that the majority of mankind take their creed from the clime in which they happen to be born ; and that many, and not an inconsiderable portion of mankind, suffer the sacred torch to burn out altogether, in their contact with the world, and then vainly imagine that they can recover the sacred fire by striking a park out of dogmatic theology.
** &quot;Passages from the life of a philosopher&quot;, Appendix: Religion, Note (B) pp. 491-492

== Attributed ==
* '''Errors using inadequate data are much less than those using no data at all.'''
**Quoted in William Kenneth Richmond (1969), ''The Education Industry''.
***May be modern paraphrase of &quot;the errors which arise from the absence of facts&quot; quote above.

* Propose to any Englishman any principle, or any instrument, however admirable, and you will observe that the whole effort of the English mind is directed to find a difficulty, a defect, or an impossibility in it. If you speak to him of a machine for peeling a potato, he will pronounce it impossible; if you peel a potato with it before his eyes, he will declare it useless because it will not slice a pineapple. Impart the same principle or show the same machine to an American or to one of our Colonists and you will observe that the whole effort of his mind is to find some new application of the principle, some new use for the instrument.
**Quoted in Richard H. Babbage (1948), &quot;The Work of Charles Babbage&quot;, [https://archive.org/details/proceedingsofsym0000symp_y9e6/page/20/mode/2up?q=%22Propose+to+any+Englishman%22 ''Annals of the Computation Laboratory of Harvard University'', vol. 16] cited to Charles' [https://archive.org/details/expositionorvie00babbgoog ''The Exposition of 1851''] (but see Talk page for problems with this citation)
*** Excerpt listed online, here: http://www.ed-thelen.org/bab/bab_philosopher.html

== Quotes about Charles Babbage ==
* Babbage was one of the founders of the Cambridge Analytical Society whose purpose he stated was to advocate &quot;the principles of pure d-ism as opposed to the dof-age of the university.
** [[W. W. Rouse Ball]], ''History of Mathematics,'' (London, 1901), p. 451

* The Economy of Manufactures established Babbage's position as a [[political economist]] and its influence is well attested, particularly on [[John Stuart Mill]] and [[Karl Marx]]. Babbage's pioneering discussion of the effect of technical development on the size of industrial organizations was followed by Mill and the prediction of the continuing increase in the size of factories, often cited as one of Marx's successful economic predictions, in fact derives from Babbage's analysis... Babbage wrote with many talents: a natural philosopher and mechanical engineer, his knowledge of factory and workshop practice was encyclopaedic; he was well-versed in relevant business practice; and he was without rival as a mathematician among contemporary British political economists.
** Anthony Hyman. ''Charles Babbage: pioneer of the computer.'' Princeton University Press, 1982. p.103–4

== External links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}
*{{wikisource-inline|Author:Charles Babbage}}
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[[File:Tenniel Saint Cecilia.jpg|thumb|right|Music, the greatest good that mortals know,&lt;br/&gt;And all of heaven we have below.]]
'''[[w:Joseph Addison|Joseph Addison]]''' ([[May 1]] [[1672]] – [[June 17]] [[1719]]) was an English politician and writer. His name is often remembered in tandem with that of his friend, [[Richard Steele]], with whom he founded ''[[w:The Spectator (1711)|The Spectator]]'' magazine.

== Quotes ==
[[File:Nicolas Poussin - Sainte Cécile.jpg|thumb|right|Music religious heat inspires, &lt;br/&gt;It wakes the soul, and lifts it high]]
[[File:Paradiso Canto 31.jpg|thumb|right|Keep up the loud harmonious song, &lt;br/&gt; And imitate the blest above, &lt;br/&gt; In joy, and harmony, and love.]]
[[File:Waterhouse,_John_William_-_Saint_Cecilia_-_1895.jpg|thumb|right|Let echo, too, perform her part, &lt;br/&gt;Prolonging every note with art]]
[[File:Albi - Sainte-Cécile - martyre de Sainte Cécile.jpg|thumb|right|A thousand trills and quivering sounds &lt;br/&gt;In airy circles o'er us fly, &lt;br/&gt;Till, wafted by a gentle breeze, &lt;br/&gt;They faint and languish by degrees, &lt;br/&gt;And at a distance die.]]
[[File:Egg Nebula.jpg|thumb|right|Where have my ravish'd senses been! &lt;br/&gt; What joys, what wonders, have I seen!]]
[[File:AnttlersNewM45.jpg|thumb|right|Every star, and every pow'r, &lt;br/&gt; Look down on this important hour]]
[[File:M51 whirlpool galaxy black hole.jpg|thumb|right|Should the whole frame of Nature round him break, &lt;br/&gt; In ruin and confusion hurled, &lt;br/&gt; He, unconcerned, would hear the mighty crack, &lt;br/&gt; And stand secure amidst a falling world.]]
[[File:Arches westminster abbey.jpg|thumb|right|When I consider rival wits placed side by side, or the holy men that divided the world with their contests and disputes, I reflect with sorrow and astonishment on the little competitions, factions, and debates of mankind.]]
[[File:Joseph Addison (1672-1719).jpg|thumb|right|There is no greater sign of a general decay of virtue in a nation, than a want of zeal in its inhabitants for the good of their country.]]

* '''Music, the greatest good that mortals know,&lt;br/&gt;And all of heaven we have below.'''
** ''Song for [[w:Saint Cecilia|St. Cecilia]]'s Day'' (1692), st. 3

* '''Music religious heat inspires, &lt;br/&gt;It wakes the soul, and lifts it high''', &lt;br/&gt;And wings it with sublime desires, &lt;br/&gt;And fits it to bespeak the Deity.
** ''Song for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1692), st. 4

* '''When time itself shall be no more, &lt;br/&gt; And all things in confusion hurl'd, &lt;br/&gt; Music shall then exert it's power, &lt;br/&gt; And sound survive the ruins of the world''': &lt;br/&gt; Then saints and angels shall agree &lt;br/&gt; In one eternal jubilee: &lt;br/&gt; '''All Heaven shall echo with their hymns divine, &lt;br/&gt; And God himself with pleasure see &lt;br/&gt; The whole creation in a chorus join.'''
** ''Song for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1692)

* '''Consecrate the place and day &lt;br/&gt; To music and Cecilia. &lt;br/&gt; Let no rough winds approach, nor dare &lt;br/&gt; Invade the hallow'd bounds, &lt;br/&gt; Nor rudely shake the tuneful air, &lt;br/&gt; Nor spoil the fleeting sounds.''' &lt;br/&gt; Nor mournful sigh nor groan be heard, &lt;br/&gt; But gladness dwell on every tongue; &lt;br/&gt; Whilst all, with voice and strings prepar'd, &lt;br/&gt; '''Keep up the loud harmonious song, &lt;br/&gt; And imitate the blest above, &lt;br/&gt; In joy, and harmony, and love.'''
** ''Song for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1692)

* On you, my lord, with anxious fear I wait, &lt;br/&gt; And from your judgment must expect my fate.
** ''A Poem to His Majesty'' (1695), l. 21

* '''Let echo, too, perform her part, &lt;br/&gt;Prolonging every note with art'''; &lt;br/&gt;And in a low expiring strain, &lt;br/&gt;Play all the concert o'er again.
** ''Ode for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1699), st. 4

* A thousand trills and quivering sounds &lt;br/&gt;In airy circles o'er us fly, &lt;br/&gt;Till, wafted by a gentle breeze, &lt;br/&gt;They faint and languish by degrees, &lt;br/&gt;And at a distance die.
** ''Ode on St. Cecilia's Day'' (1699), st. 6

* For wheresoe'er I turn my ravished eyes, &lt;br/&gt; Gay gilded scenes and shining prospects rise, &lt;br/&gt; Poetic fields encompass me around, &lt;br/&gt; And still I seem to tread on classic ground.
** ''A Letter from Italy'', to the Right Honourable Charles, Lord Halifax (1701)

* Fain would I Raphael's godlike art rehearse, &lt;br/&gt; And show th' immortal labours in my verse, &lt;br/&gt; Where from themingled strength of shade and light &lt;br/&gt; '''A new creation rises to my sight''', &lt;br/&gt; Such heavenly figures from his pencil flow, &lt;br/&gt; So warm with life his blended colours glow. &lt;br/&gt; From theme to theme with secret pleasure tost, &lt;br/&gt; Amidst the soft variety I 'm lost: &lt;br/&gt; Here pleasing airs my ravish'd soul confound &lt;br/&gt; With circling notes and labyrinths of sound; &lt;br/&gt; Here domes and temples rise in distant views, &lt;br/&gt; And opening palaces invite my Muse.
** ''A Letter from Italy'' (1703)

* When hosts of foes with foes engage, &lt;br/&gt; And round th' anointed hero rage, &lt;br/&gt; The cleaving fauchion I misguide, &lt;br/&gt; And turn the feather'd shaft aside.
** Second Angel, in ''Rosamond'' (c. 1707), Act III, sc. i

* '''Where have my ravish'd senses been! &lt;br/&gt; What joys, what wonders, have I seen!''' &lt;br/&gt; The scene yet stands before my eye, &lt;br/&gt; A thousand glorious deeds that lie &lt;br/&gt; In deep futurity obscure, &lt;br/&gt; Fights and triumphs immature, &lt;br/&gt; '''Heroes immers'd in time's dark womb, &lt;br/&gt; Ripening for mighty years to come, &lt;br/&gt; Break forth, and, to the day display'd, &lt;br/&gt; My soft inglorious hours upbraid. &lt;br/&gt; Transported with so bright a scheme, &lt;br/&gt; My waking life appears a dream.'''
** Henry in ''Rosamond'' (c. 1707), Act III, sc. i

* '''Every star, and every pow'r, &lt;br/&gt; Look down on this important hour''': &lt;br/&gt; Lend your protection and defence &lt;br/&gt; Every guard of innocence! &lt;br/&gt; Help me my Henry to assuage, &lt;br/&gt; To gain his love or bear his rage. &lt;br/&gt; '''Mysterious love, uncertain treasure,&lt;br/&gt;Hast thou more of pain or pleasure!&lt;br/&gt;Chill'd with tears,&lt;br/&gt;Kill'd with fears,&lt;br/&gt;Endless torments dwell about thee:&lt;br/&gt;Yet who would live, and live without thee!'''
** Queen Elinor in ''Rosamond'' (c. 1707), Act III, sc. ii

* '''The man resolved, and steady to his trust, &lt;br/&gt; Inflexible to ill, and obstinately just, &lt;br/&gt; May the rude rabble's insolence despise''', &lt;br/&gt; Their senseless clamours and tumultuous cries; &lt;br/&gt; The tyrant's fierceness he beguiles, &lt;br/&gt; And the stern brow, and the harsh voice defies, &lt;br/&gt; And with superior greatness smiles.
** Translation of ''[[Horace]]'', ''Odes'', Book III, ode iii

* '''Should the whole frame of Nature round him break, &lt;br/&gt; In ruin and confusion hurled, &lt;br/&gt; He, unconcerned, would hear the mighty crack, &lt;br/&gt; And stand secure amidst a falling world.'''
** Translation of ''[[Horace]]'', ''Odes'', Book III, ode iii

* When I read the several dates of the tombs, of some that died yesterday, and some six hundred years ago, I consider that great day when we shall all of us be contemporaries, and make our appearance together.
** ''Thoughts in Westminster Abbey'' (1711)

* '''When I read the epitaphs of the beautiful, every inordinate desire goes out'''; when I meet with the grief of parents upon a tombstone, my heart melts with compassion; when I see the tomb of the parents themselves, I consider the vanity of grieving for those whom we must quickly follow: '''when I see kings lying by those who deposed them, when I consider rival wits placed side by side, or the holy men that divided the world with their contests and disputes, I reflect with sorrow and astonishment on the little competitions, factions, and debates of mankind.'''
** ''Thoughts in Westminster Abbey'' (1711)

* '''A man's first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart; his next to escape the censures of the world''': if the last interferes with the former, it ought to be entirely neglected; but otherwise there cannot be a greater satisfaction to an honest mind, than to see those approbations which it gives itself seconded by the applauses of the public: a man is more sure of his conduct, when the verdict which he passes upon his own behaviour is thus warranted and confirmed by the opinion of all that know him.
** On &quot;[[w:Roger de Coverley|Sir Roger]]&quot;, in ''The Spectator'' No. 122 (20 July 1711)

* '''See in what peace a Christian can die!'''
** Last words, to his stepson (1719), as quoted in ''Conjectures on Original Composition'' (1759) by [[w:Edward Young|Edward Young]]
** Variants:
** '''I have sent for you that you may see in what peace a Christian may die.'''
*** As quoted in ''The R. I. Schoolmaster'', Vol. V (1859), edited by William A. Mowry and Henry Clark, p. 71
** I have sent for you that you may see how a Christian may die.
*** As quoted in ''Famous Sayings and their Authors'' (1906) by Edward Latham

=== ''The Campaign'' (1704) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://addison.classicauthors.net/campaign/ Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:UK Royal Coat of Arms.svg|thumb|right|Great souls by instinct to each other turn, &lt;br/&gt; Demand alliance, and in friendship burn]]
[[File:Battle of Tolbiac.jpg|thumb|right|Nations with nations mix'd confus'dly die, &lt;br/&gt; And lost in one promiscuous carnage lie.]]
[[File:MichaelKi.jpg|thumb|right|Calm and serene he drives the furious blast; &lt;br/&gt;And, pleas'd th' Almighty's orders to perform, &lt;br/&gt;Rides in the whirlwind, and directs the storm.]]

* '''Great souls by instinct to each other turn, &lt;br/&gt; Demand alliance, and in friendship burn'''; &lt;br/&gt; A sudden friendship, while with stretched-out rays &lt;br/&gt; They meet each other, mingling blaze with blaze. &lt;br/&gt; Polished in courts, and hardened in the field, &lt;br/&gt; Renowned for conquest, and in council skilled, &lt;br/&gt; '''Their courage dwells not in a troubled flood &lt;br/&gt; Of mounting spirits, and fermenting blood: &lt;br/&gt; Lodged in the soul, with virtue overruled, &lt;br/&gt; Inflamed by reason, and by reason cooled, &lt;br/&gt; In hours of peace content to be unknown. &lt;br/&gt; And only in the field of battle shown: &lt;br/&gt; To souls like these, in mutual friendship joined, &lt;br/&gt; Heaven dares intrust the cause of humankind.'''
** Line 101

* '''Nations with nations mix'd confus'dly die, &lt;br/&gt; And lost in one promiscuous carnage lie.'''
** Line 152

* Unbounded courage and compassion join'd, &lt;br/&gt; Tempering each other in the victor's mind, &lt;br/&gt; Alternately proclaim him good and great, &lt;br/&gt; And make the hero and the man complete.
** Line 219

* '''So when an angel by divine command &lt;br/&gt;With rising tempests shakes a guilty land, &lt;br/&gt;Such as of late o'er pale Britannia passed, &lt;br/&gt;Calm and serene he drives the furious blast; &lt;br/&gt;And, pleas'd th' Almighty's orders to perform, &lt;br/&gt;Rides in the whirlwind, and directs the storm.'''
** Line 287, the word &quot;passed&quot; was here originally spelt &quot;past&quot; but modern renditions have updated the spelling for clarity. An alteration of these lines occurs in [[Alexander Pope]]'s satire ''[[The Dunciad|The Dunciad]]'', Book III, line 264, where he describes a contemporary theatre manager as an &quot;Angel of Dulness&quot;:
:: Immortal Rich! how calm he sits at ease, &lt;br/&gt; Midst snows of paper, and fierce hail of pease; &lt;br/&gt; And proud his mistress' order to perform, &lt;br/&gt; Rides in the whirlwind and directs the storm.

* O Dormer, how can I behold thy fate, &lt;br/&gt;And not the wonders of thy youth relate; &lt;br/&gt;How can I see the gay, the brave, the young, &lt;br/&gt;Fall in the cloud of war, and lie unsung! &lt;br/&gt;In joys of conquest he resigns his breath, &lt;br/&gt;And, filled with England's glory, smiles in death.
** Line 309

* '''Rais'd of themselves, their genuine charms they boast, &lt;br/&gt; And those who paint them truest praise them most.'''
** last lines

=== ''Cato, A Tragedy'' (1713)===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.constitution.org/addison/cato_play.htm Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Lightning8 - NOAA.jpg|thumb|right|Is there not some chosen curse, &lt;br/&gt; Some hidden thunder in the stores of heaven, &lt;br/&gt; Red with uncommon wrath, to blast the man &lt;br/&gt; Who owes his greatness to his country's ruin?]]
[[File:Marcus Porcius Cato.jpg|thumb|right|'Tis not in mortals to command success, &lt;br/&gt; But we'll do more, Sempronius; we'll deserve it.]]
[[File:Cato Utica Louvre LP2090.jpg|thumb|right|A day, an hour, of virtuous liberty &lt;br/&gt; Is worth a whole eternity in bondage.]]
[[File:Guillaume Guillon Lethière-The Death of Cato of Utica, 1795.jpg|thumb|right|What pity is it &lt;br/&gt; That we can die but once to serve our country!]]

* '''Is there not some chosen curse, &lt;br/&gt; Some hidden thunder in the stores of heaven, &lt;br/&gt; Red with uncommon wrath, to blast the man &lt;br/&gt; Who owes his greatness to his country's ruin?'''
** Act I, scene i

* The dawn is overcast, the morning lowers, &lt;br/&gt; And heavily in clouds brings on the day, &lt;br/&gt; The great, the important day, &lt;br/&gt; Big with the fate Of Cato, and of Rome.
** Act I, scene i

* Thy steady temper, Portius, &lt;br/&gt; Can look on guilt, rebellion, fraud, and Cæsar, &lt;br/&gt; In the calm lights of mild philosophy.
** Act I, scene i

* Love is not to be reason'd down, or lost&lt;br /&gt;In high ambition, and a thirst of greatness;&lt;br /&gt;'Tis second life, it grows into the soul,&lt;br /&gt;Warms every vein, and beats in every pulse.
** Act I, scene i

* ''' 'Tis not in mortals to command success, &lt;br/&gt; But we'll do more, Sempronius; we'll deserve it.'''
** Act I, scene ii

* Thy father's merit sets thee up to view, &lt;br/&gt; And shows thee in the fairest point of light, &lt;br/&gt; To make thy virtues, or thy faults, conspicuous.
** Act I, scene ii

* Oh! think what anxious moments pass between &lt;br/&gt; The birth of plots, and their last fatal periods, &lt;br/&gt; Oh! 'tis a dreadful interval of time, &lt;br/&gt; Filled up with horror all, and big with death!
** Act I, scene iii

* '''Better to die ten thousand deaths, &lt;br/&gt; Than wound my honour.'''
** Act I, scene iv

* If the following day he chance to find &lt;br/&gt; A new repast, or an untasted spring, &lt;br/&gt; Blesses his stars, and thinks it luxury.
** Act I, scene iv

* 'Tis [[pride]], rank pride, and haughtiness of soul: &lt;br/&gt; I think the Romans call it Stoicism.
** Act I, scene iv

* Were you with these, my prince, you'd soon forget &lt;br/&gt; The pale, unripened beauties of the north.
** Act I, scene iv

* Beauty soon grows familiar to the lover, &lt;br/&gt; Fades in his eye, and palls upon the sense.
** Act I, scene iv

* '''My voice is still for war. &lt;br/&gt; Gods! Can a Roman senate long debate &lt;br/&gt; Which of the two to choose, slavery or death?''' &lt;br/&gt; No, let us rise at once, &lt;br/&gt; Gird on our swords, and, &lt;br/&gt; At the head of our remaining troops, attack the foe, &lt;br/&gt; Break through the thick array of his throng'd legions, &lt;br/&gt; And charge home upon him. &lt;br/&gt; '''Perhaps some arm, more lucky than the rest, &lt;br/&gt; May reach his heart, and free the world from bondage.'''
** Act II, scene i

* '''A day, an hour, of virtuous liberty &lt;br/&gt; Is worth a whole eternity in bondage.'''
** Act II, scene i

* Great Pompey's shade complains that we are slow, &lt;br/&gt; And Scipio's ghost walks unavenged amongst us!
** Act II, scene i

* '''Young men soon give and soon forget affronts; &lt;br/&gt; Old age is slow in both.'''
** Act II, scene v

* The friendships of the world are oft &lt;br/&gt; Confederacies in vice, or leagues of pleasure; &lt;br/&gt; Ours has severest virtue for its basis, &lt;br/&gt; And such a friendship ends not but with life.
** Act III, scene i

* When love's well-timed 'tis not a fault of love; &lt;br/&gt; The strong, the brave, the virtuous, and the wise, &lt;br/&gt; Sink in the soft captivity together.
** Act III, scene i

* Loveliest of women! heaven is in thy soul, &lt;br/&gt; Beauty and virtue shine forever round thee, &lt;br/&gt; Bright'ning each other! thou art all divine!
** Act III, scene ii

* '''Talk not of love: thou never knew'st its force.'''
** Act III, scene ii

* To my confusion, and eternal grief, &lt;br/&gt; I must approve the sentence that destroys me.
** Act III, scene ii

* See they suffer death, &lt;br/&gt; But in their deaths remember they are men, &lt;br/&gt; '''Strain not the laws to make their tortures grievous.'''
** Act III, scene v

* Why wilt thou add to all the griefs I suffer &lt;br/&gt; Imaginary ills, and fancy'd tortures?
** Act IV, scene i

* When love once pleas admission to our hearts, &lt;br/&gt; (In spite of all the virtue we can boast), &lt;br/&gt; The woman that deliberates is lost.
** Variant: &quot;When love once pleads admission to our hearts...&quot;
** Act IV, scene i. The last line has often been misreported as &quot;He who hesitates is lost&quot;, a sentiment inspired by it but not penned by Addison. See Paul F. Boller, Jr., and John George, ''They Never Said It: A Book of Fake Quotes, Misquotes, &amp; Misleading Attributions'' (1989), p. 3

* I will indulge my sorrows, and give way &lt;br/&gt; To all the pangs and fury of despair.
** Act IV, scene iii

* Curse on his virtues! they've undone his country.
** Act IV, scene iv

* How beautiful is death, when earn'd by virtue! &lt;br/&gt; Who would not be that youth? '''What pity is it &lt;br/&gt; That we can die but once to serve our country!'''
** Act IV, scene iv

* '''Content thyself to be obscurely good. &lt;br/&gt; When vice prevails, and impious men bear sway, &lt;br/&gt; The post of honor is a private station.'''
** Act IV, scene iv

* O ye powers that search &lt;br/&gt; The heart of man, and weigh his inmost thoughts, &lt;br/&gt; If I have done amiss, impute it not! &lt;br/&gt; The best may err, but you are good.
** Act IV, scene iv

* Thanks to the gods! my boy has done his duty.
** Act IV, scene iv

* The honors of this world, what are they &lt;br/&gt; But puff, and emptiness, and peril of falling?
** Act IV, scene iv

* The stars shall fade away, the sun himself &lt;br/&gt; Grow dim with age, and nature sink in years, &lt;br/&gt; But thou shalt flourish in immortal youth, &lt;br/&gt; Unhurt amidst the wars of elements, &lt;br/&gt; The wrecks of matter, and the crush of worlds.
** Act V, scene i

[[File:Halo in cirrostratus 1.jpg|thumb|right|If there's a power above us, &lt;br/&gt; (And that there is all nature cries aloud &lt;br/&gt; Through all her works) he must delight in virtue.]]
* '''If there's a power above us, &lt;br/&gt; (And that there is all nature cries aloud &lt;br/&gt; Through all her works) he must delight in virtue.'''
** Act V, scene i

* It must be so — [[Plato]], thou reasonest well! &lt;br/&gt; Else whence this pleasing hope, this fond desire, &lt;br/&gt; This longing after immortality? &lt;br/&gt; Or whence this secret dread, and inward horror, &lt;br/&gt; O falling into nought? Why shrinks the soul &lt;br/&gt; Back on herself, and startles at destruction? &lt;br/&gt; 'Tis the divinity that stirs within us; &lt;br/&gt; ''' 'Tis heaven itself, that points out an hereafter, &lt;br/&gt; And intimates eternity to man.'''
** Act V, scene i

[[File:Sun-halo-roscoff.jpg|thumb|right|Nature does nothing without purpose or uselessly.]]
* '''Eternity! thou pleasing dreadful thought!''' &lt;br/&gt; Through what variety of untried being, &lt;br/&gt; Through what new scenes and changes must we pass!
** Act V, scene i

* I'm weary of conjectures,—this must end 'em. &lt;br/&gt; Thus am I doubly armed: '''my death and life, &lt;br/&gt; My bane and antidote, are both before me''': &lt;br/&gt; This in a moment brings me to an end; &lt;br/&gt; But this informs me I shall never die. &lt;br/&gt; The soul, secured in her existence, smiles &lt;br/&gt; At the drawn dagger, and defies its point. &lt;br/&gt; The stars shall fade away, the sun himself &lt;br/&gt; Grow dim with age, and Nature sink in years; &lt;br/&gt; But thou shalt flourish in immortal youth, &lt;br/&gt; Unhurt amidst the war of elements, &lt;br/&gt; The wrecks of matter, and the crush of worlds.
** Act V, scene i

* '''Nature does nothing without purpose or uselessly.'''
** Act V, scene i

* The ideal man bears the accidents of life &lt;br/&gt; With dignity and grace, the best of circumstances.
** Act V, scene i

* '''The soul, secured in her existence, smiles &lt;br/&gt; At the drawn dagger, and defies its point.'''
** Act V, scene i

* What means this heaviness that hangs upon me? &lt;br/&gt; This lethargy that creeps through all my senses? &lt;br/&gt; Nature, oppress'd and harrass'd out with care, &lt;br/&gt; Sinks down to rest.
** Act V, scene i

* Sweet are the slumbers of the virtuous man.
** Act V, scene iv

* '''From hence, let fierce contending nations know, &lt;br/&gt; What dire effects from civil discord flow.'''
** Act V, scene iv

=== ''The Guardian'' (1713) ===
[[File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|thumb|right|There in no virtue so truly great and godlike as justice.]]

* '''There is no virtue so truly great and godlike as justice.'''
** No. 99

* To be perfectly just is an attribute in the divine nature; to be so to the utmost of our abilities, is the glory of man.
** No. 99

* '''Justice discards party, friendship, kindred, and is therefore always represented as blind.'''
** No. 99

* '''Knowledge is, indeed, that which, next to virtue, truly and essentially raises one man above another.'''
** No. 111

* When I read the rules of criticism, I immediately inquire after the works of the author who has written them, and by that means discover what it is he likes in a composition.
** No. 115

* Courage that grows from constitution very often forsakes a man when he has occasion for it, and when it is only a kind of instinct in the Soul breaks out on all occasions without judgment or discretion. That courage which proceeds from the sense of our duty, and from the fear of offending Him that made us, acts always in a uniform manner, and according to the dictates of right reason.
** No. 117

* Blessings may appear under the shape of pains, losses and disappointments; but let him have patience, and he will see them in their proper figures.
** No. 117

* '''A good conscience is to the soul what health is to the body'''; '''it preserves a constant ease and serenity within us''', and more than countervails all the calamities and afflictions which can possibly befall us.
** No. 135

* The sense of honour is of so fine and delicate a nature, that it is only to be met with in minds which are naturally noble, or in such as have been cultivated by good examples, or a refined education.
** No. 161

* Charity is a virtue of the heart, and not of the hands.
** No. 166

* '''Gifts and alms are the expressions, not the essence, of this virtue.'''
** No. 166

=== ''[[w:The Spectator (1711)|The Spectator]]'' (1711–1714) ===
[[File:The Spectator 1788.jpg|thumb|right|I live in the world rather as a spectator of mankind than as one of the species.]]
[[File:SépultureCathelineau.JPG|thumb|right|The Fear of Death often proves Mortal, and sets People on Methods to save their Lives, which infallibly destroy them.]]

* '''If I can any way contribute to the diversion or improvement of the country in which I live, I shall leave it, when I am summoned out of it, with the secret satisfaction of thinking that I have not lived in vain.'''
** No. 1 (1 March 1711)

* '''Thus I live in the world rather as a spectator of mankind than as one of the species.'''
** No. 1 (1 March 1711)

* To be exempt from the passions with which others are tormented, is the only pleasing solitude.
** No. 4 (5 March 1711)

* I would... earnestly advise them for their good to order this paper to be punctually served up, and to be looked upon as a part of the tea equipage.
** No. 10 (11 March 1711)

* '''I shall endeavor to enliven morality with wit, and to temper wit with morality.'''
** No. 10 (11 March 1711)

* '''True happiness is of a retired nature, and an enemy to pomp and noise; it arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one's self, and in the next, from the friendship and conversation of a few select companions.'''
** No. 15 (March 17, 1711)

* '''That nothing is capable of being well set to Musick, that is not Nonsense.'''
** No. 18 (March 21, 1711)

* '''The Fear of Death often proves Mortal''', and sets People on Methods to save their Lives, which infallibly destroy them.
** No. 25 (29 March 1711)

* It is indeed very possible, that the Persons we laugh at may in the main of their Characters be much wiser Men than our selves; but if they would have us laugh at them, they must fall short of us in those Respects which stir up this Passion.
** No. 47 (24 April 1711)

* In all thy humours, whether grave or mellow, &lt;br/&gt; Thou 'rt such a touchy, testy, pleasant fellow, &lt;br/&gt; Hast so much wit and mirth and spleen about thee, &lt;br/&gt; There is no living with thee, nor without thee.
** No. 68 (18 May 1911)

* '''There is not a more unhappy being than a superannuated idol.'''
** No. 73 (24 May 1711)

* A man that has a taste of music, painting, or architecture, is like one that has another sense, when compared with such as have no relish of those arts.
** No. 93 (16 June 1711)

* '''Of all the diversions of life, there is none so proper to fill up its empty spaces as the reading of useful and entertaining authors.'''
** No. 94 (18 June 1711)

* There is not so variable a thing in Nature as a lady's head-dress.
** No. 98 (22 June 1711)

* &quot;Censure,&quot; says [[Jonathan Swift|a late ingenious author]], &quot;is the tax a man plays for being eminent.&quot; It is a folly for an eminent man to think of escaping it, and a weakness to be affected with it. '''All the illustrious persons of antiquity, and indeed of every age in the world, have passed through this fiery persecution. There is no defense against reproach but obscurity'''; it is a kind of comitant to greatness, as satires and invectives were an essential part of a Roman triumph.
** No. 101 (26 June 1711)

* '''If men of eminence are exposed to censure on one hand, they are as much liable to flattery on the other. If they receive reproaches which are not due to them, they likewise receive praises which they do not deserve.''' In a word, the man in a high post is never regarded with an indifferent eye, but always considered as a friend or an enemy. For this reason persons in great stations have seldom their true characters drawn till several years after their deaths. Their personal friendships and enmities must cease, and the parties they were engaged in be at an end, before their faults or their virtues can have justice done them. When writers have the least opportunity of knowing the truth, they are in the best disposition to tell it. &lt;br/&gt; It is therefore the privilege of posterity to adjust the characters of illustrious persons, and to set matters right between those antagonists who by their rivalry for greatness divided a whole age into factions.
** No. 101 (26 June 1711), this has sometimes been quoted as &quot;It is the privilege of posterity to set matters right between those antagonists who, by their rivalry for greatness, divided a whole age&quot;.

[[File:A Commonwealth Cross of Sacrifice or War Cross.jpg|thumb|right|Much might be said on both sides.]]
* [[Sunday]] clears away the rust of the whole week.
** No. 112 (9 July 1711)

* Exercise ferments the humors, casts them into their proper channels, throws off redundancies, and helps nature in those secret distributions, without which the body cannot subsist in its vigor, nor the soul act with cheerfulness.
** No. 115 (12 July 1711)

* When I consider the Question, Whether there are such Persons in the World as those we call Witches? my Mind is divided between the two opposite Opinions; or rather (to speak my Thoughts freely) I believe in general that there is, and has been such a thing as Witchcraft; but at the same time can give no Credit to any Particular Instance of it.
** No. 117 (14 July 1711)

* Animals in their generation are wiser than the sons of men; but their wisdom is confined to a few particulars, and lies in a very narrow compass.
** No. 120 (18 July 1711)

* The most violent appetites in all creatures are lust and hunger: the first is a perpetual call upon them to propogate their kind; the latter to preserve themselves.
** No. 120 (18 July 1711)

* '''Much might be said on both sides.'''
** No. 122 (20 July 1711)

* Authors have established it as a kind of rule, that a man ought to be dull sometimes; as the most severe reader makes allowances for many rests and nodding places in a voluminous writer.
** No. 124 (23 July 1711)

* A cloudy day or a little sunshine have as great an influence on many constitutions as the most real blessings or misfortunes.
** No. 162 (5 September 1711)

* Mutability of temper and inconsistency with ourselves is the greatest weakness of human nature.
** No. 162 (5 September 1711)

* The circumstance which gives authors an advantage above all these great masters, is this, that they can multiply their originals; or rather, can make copies of their works, to what number they please, which shall be as valuable as the originals themselves.
** No. 166 (10 September 1711)

* '''Books are the legacies that a great genius leaves to mankind''', which are delivered down from generation to generation, as presents to the posterity of those who are yet unborn.
** No. 166 (10 September 1711)

* Man is subject to innumerable pains and sorrows by the very condition of humanity, and yet, as if nature had not sown evils enough in life, we are continually adding grief to grief, and aggravating the common calamity by our cruel treatment of one another.
** No. 169 (13 September 1711)

* '''Good nature is more agreeable in conversation than wit, and gives a certain air to the countenance which is more amiable than beauty.'''
** No. 169 (13 September 1711)

* I have somewhere met with the epitaph of a charitable man, which has very much pleased me. I cannot recollect the words, but the sense of it is to this purpose; '''''What I spent I lost; what I possessed is left to others; what I gave away remains with me.'''''
** No. 177 (22 September 1711)

* I would fain ask one of these bigotted Infidels, supposing all the great Points of Atheism … were laid together and formed into a kind of Creed, according to the Opinions of the most celebrated Atheists; I say, supposing such a Creed as this were formed, and imposed upon any one People in the World, whether it would not require an infinitely greater Measure of Faith, than any Set of Articles which they so violently oppose.
** [http://archive.twoaspirinsandacomedy.com/spectator/spectator.php?line=185 No. 185] (2 October 1711).
** Often misquoted as &quot;To be an atheist requires an infinitely greater measure of faith than to receive all the great truths which atheism would deny.&quot;

* The man who will live above his present circumstances is in great danger of living in a little time much beneath them; or as the Italian proverb runs, &quot;The man who lives by hope, will die by hunger.&quot;
** No. 191 (9 October 1711)

* Were I to prescribe a rule for drinking, it should be formed upon a saying quoted by Sir [[William Temple]]: the first glass for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the fourth for mine enemies.
** No. 195 (13 October 1711)

[[File:Reconciliation by Vasconcellos, Coventry.jpg|thumb|right|A man must be excessively stupid, as well as uncharitable, who believes that there is no virtue but on his own side, and that there are not men as honest as himself who may differ from him in political principles.]]
* I consider an human soul without education like marble in the quarry, which shews none of its inherent beauties till the skill of the polisher fetches out the colours, makes the surface shine, and discovers every ornamental cloud, spot and vein that runs through the body of it.
** No. 215 (6 November 1711)

* What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to the human soul.
** No. 215 (6 November 1711)

* Discretion is a perfection of reason, and a guide to us in all the duties of life.
** No. 225 (17 November 1711)

* A just and reasonable modesty does not only recommend eloquence, but sets off every great talent which a man can be possessed of.
** No. 231 (24 November 1711)

* Mere bashfulness without merit is awkward; and merit without modesty, insolent. But modest merit has a double claim to acceptance, and generally meets with as many patrons as beholders.
** No. 231 (24 November 1711)

* Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue.
** No. 231 (24 November 1711)

* '''A man must be excessively stupid, as well as uncharitable, who believes that there is no virtue but on his own side, and that there are not men as honest as himself who may differ from him in political principles.'''
** No. 243 (8 December 1711)

[[File:Thanksgiving chapel interior.jpg|thumb|right|Some virtues are only seen in affliction and some in prosperity.]]
* '''What an absurd thing it is to pass over all the valuable parts of a man, and fix our attention on his infirmities.'''
** No. 249 (15 December 1711)

* Were not this desire of fame very strong, the difficulty of obtaining it, and the danger of losing it when obtained, would be sufficient to deter a man from so vain a pursuit.
** No. 255 (22 December 1711)

* Admiration is a very short-lived passion that immediately decays upon growing familiar with its object, unless it be still fed with fresh discoveries, and kept alive by a new perpetual succession of miracles rising up to its view.
** No. 256 (24 December 1711)
** Often only the first half of this statement is quoted

* Ambition raises a secret tumult in the soul, it inflames the mind, and puts it into a violent hurry of thought.
** No. 256 (24 December 1711)

* '''Some virtues are only seen in affliction and some in prosperity.'''
** No. 257 (25 December 1711)

* I have often thought, says Sir Roger, it happens very well that Christmas should fall out in the Middle of the Winter
** No. 269 (8 January 1712)

[[File:Double-alaskan-rainbow.jpg|thumb|right|Health and cheerfulness mutually beget each other.]]
* '''A true critic ought to dwell rather upon excellencies than imperfections, to discover the concealed beauties of a writer, and communicate to the world such things as are worth their observation.'''
** No. 291 (2 February 1712)

* These widows, sir, are the most perverse creatures in the world.
** No. 335 (25 March 1712)

* '''Death only closes a Man's Reputation, and determines it as good or bad.'''
** No. 349 (10 April 1712); famously seen on the brothel wall in the film ''[[w:Easy Rider|Easy Rider]]''.

* Mirth is like a flash of lightning, that breaks through a gloom of clouds, and glitters for a moment; cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind, and fills it with a steady and perpetual serenity.
** No. 381 (17 May 1712)

* Sir Roger made several reflections on the greatness of the British Nation; as, that one Englishman could beat three Frenchmen; that we could never be in danger of Popery so long as we took care of our fleet; that the Thames was the noblest river in Europe...with many other honest prejudices which naturally cleave to the heart of a true Englishman.
** No. 383 (20 May 1712)

* '''Cheerfulness is...the best promoter of health.'''
** No. 387 (24 May 1712)

* '''Health and cheerfulness mutually beget each other.'''
** No. 387 (24 May 1712)

[[File:CL0024+17.jpg|thumb|right|The spacious firmament on high, &lt;br/&gt; With all the blue ethereal sky, &lt;br/&gt; And spangled heavens, a shining frame, &lt;br/&gt; Their great Original proclaim.]]
* Everything that is new or uncommon raises a pleasure in the imagination, because it fills the soul with an agreeable surprise, gratifies its curiosity, and gives it an idea of which it was not before possessed.
** No. 412 (23 June 1712)

* The Lord my pasture shall prepare, &lt;br/&gt; And feed me with a shepherd's care; &lt;br/&gt; His presence shall my wants supply, &lt;br/&gt; And guard me with a watchful eye.
** No. 444 (26 July 1712)

* Our delight in any particular study, art, or science rises and improves in proportion to the application which we bestow upon it. Thus, what was at first an exercise becomes at length an entertainment.
** No. 447 (2 August 1712)

* When all thy mercies, O my God, &lt;br/&gt; My rising soul surveys, &lt;br/&gt; '''Transported with the view, I'm lost &lt;br/&gt; In wonder, love and praise.'''
** No. 453 (9 August 1712)

* '''The spacious firmament on high, &lt;br/&gt; With all the blue ethereal sky, &lt;br/&gt; And spangled heavens, a shining frame, &lt;br/&gt; Their great Original proclaim.'''
** No. 465, ''Ode'' (23 August 1712).
** Also in ''The Polite Arts'' (1749), Chap. XXI. &quot;Of Lyrick Poetry.&quot; 

* Soon as the evening shades prevail, &lt;br/&gt; The moon takes up the wondrous tale, &lt;br/&gt; And nightly to the listening earth &lt;br/&gt; Repeats the story of her birth; &lt;br/&gt; While all the stars that round her burn, &lt;br/&gt; And all the planets in their turn, &lt;br/&gt; Confirm the tidings as they roll, &lt;br/&gt; And spread the truth from pole to pole.
** No. 465, ''Ode'' (23 August 1712)

* What though no real voice nor sound &lt;br/&gt; Amid their radiant orbs be found ; &lt;br/&gt; In reason's ear they all rejoice, &lt;br/&gt; And utter forth a glorious voice, &lt;br/&gt; Forever singing as they shine, &lt;br/&gt; &quot;The Hand that made us divine.&quot;
** No. 465, ''Ode'' (23 August 1712)

* A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
** No. 475 (4 September 1712)

* Method is not less requisite in ordinary conversation than in writing, provided a man would talk to make himself understood.
** No. 476 (5 September 1712)

* Our disputants put me in mind of the skuttle fish, that when he is unable to extricate himself, blackens all the water about him, till he becomes invisible.
** No. 476 (5 September 1712)

* Irregularity and want of method are only supportable in men of great learning or genius, who are often too full to be exact, and therefore choose to throw down their pearls in heaps before the reader, rather than be at the pains of stringing them.
** No. 476 (5 September 1712)

[[File:Georges Seurat 019.jpg|thumb|right|Man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter.]]
* '''I value my garden more for being full of blackbirds than cherries, and very frankly give them fruit for their songs.'''
** No. 477 (6 September 1712)

* The fraternity of the henpecked.
** No. 482 (12 September 1712)

* '''If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter.'''
** No. 494 (26 September 1712)

* There is nothing which we receive with so much reluctance as advice.
** No. 512 (17 October 1712)

* '''If we hope for what we are not likely to possess, we act and think in vain, and make life a greater dream and shadow than it really is.'''
** No. 535 (13 November 1712)

* An ostentatious man will rather relate a blunder or an absurdity he has committed, than be debarred from talking of his own dear person.
** No. 562 (2 July 1714)

* '''A man should always consider how much he has more than he wants.'''
** No. 574 (30 July 1714)

* '''Upon the whole, a contented mind is the greatest blessing a man can enjoy in this world.'''
** No. 574 (30 July 1714)

* We are always doing something for Posterity, but I would fain see Posterity do something for us.
** No. 587 (20 August 1714)

=== ''The Tatler'' (1711–1714) ===
* Men may change their climate, but they cannot change their nature. A man that goes out a fool cannot ride or sail himself into common sense.
** No. 93

* Silence never shows itself to so great an advantage, as when it is made the reply to calumny and defamation, provided that we give no just occasion for them.
** No. 133

* A misery is not to be measured from the nature of the evil, but from the temper of the sufferer.
** No. 146

* '''Reading is to the mind, what exercise is to the body.''' As by the one, health is preserved, strengthened, and invigorated: by the other, virtue (which is the health of the mind) is kept alive, cherished, and confirmed.
** No. 147

* '''A cheerful temper joined with innocence will make beauty attractive, knowledge delightful and wit good-natured.'''
** No. 192

* Advertisements are of great use to the vulgar. First of all, as they are instruments of ambition. A man that is by no means big enough for the Gazette, may easily creep into the advertisements; by which means we often see an apothecary in the same paper of news with a plenipotentiary, or a running footman with an ambassador.
** No. 224

[[File:Caspar David Friedrich - Wanderer above the sea of fog.jpg|thumb|right|Discretion has large and extended views, and, like a well-formed eye, commands a whole horizon: cunning is a kind of short-sightedness, that discovers the minutest objects which are near at hand, but is not able to discern things at a distance.]]
* '''The great art in writing advertisements is the finding out a proper method to catch the reader's eye; without which a good thing may pass over unobserved, or be lost among commissions of bankrupt.'''
** No. 224

[[File:Brocken Spectre at Peak Korzhenevskaya.jpg|thumb|right|There are many more shining qualities in the mind of man, but there is none so useful as discretion...]]
* I Have often thought if the minds of men were laid open, we should see but little difference between that of the wise man and that of the fool. There are infinite reveries, numberless extravagances, and a perpetual train of vanities which pass through both. The great difference is, that the first knows how to pick and cull his thoughts for conversation, by suppressing some, and communicating others; whereas the other lets them all indifferently fly out in words.
** No. 225

* '''There are many more shining qualities in the mind of man, but there is none so useful as discretion'''; it is this, indeed, which gives a value to all the rest, which sets them at work in their proper times and places, and turns them to the advantage of the person who is possessed of them. Without it, learning is pedantry, and wit impertinence; virtue itself looks like weakness; the best parts only qualify a man to be more sprightly in errors, and active to his own prejudice.
** No. 225

* '''The discreet man finds out the talents of those he converses with, and knows how to apply them to proper uses.''' Accordingly, if we look into particular communities and divisions of men, we may observe that it is the discreet man, not the witty, nor the learned, nor the brave, who guides the conversation, and gives measures to the society.
** No. 225

* '''Though a man has all other perfections, and wants discretion, he will be of no great consequence in the world'''; but if he has this single talent in perfection, and but a common share of others, he may do what he pleases in his station of life.
** No. 225

[[File:Hoag's object.jpg|thumb|right|The cast of mind which is natural to a discreet man, make him look forward into futurity, and consider what will be his condition millions of ages hence, as well as what it is at present.]]
* '''At the same time that I think discretion the most useful talent a man can be master of, I look upon cunning to be the accomplishment of little, mean, ungenerous minds.''' Discretion points out the noblest ends to us, and pursues the most proper and laudable methods of attaining them: cunning has only private selfish aims, and sticks at nothing which may make them succeed. '''Discretion has large and extended views, and, like a well-formed eye, commands a whole horizon: cunning is a kind of short-sightedness, that discovers the minutest objects which are near at hand, but is not able to discern things at a distance. Discretion the more it is discovered, gives a greater authority to the person who possesses it: cunning, when it is once detected, loses its force, and makes a man incapable of bringing about even those events which he might have done had he passed only for a plain man.''' Discretion is the perfection of reason, and a guide to us in all the duties of life: cunning is a kind of instinct, that only looks out after our immediate interest and welfare. Discretion is only found in men of strong sense and good understandings, cunning is often to be met with in brutes themselves, and in persons who are but the fewest removes from them.
** No. 225

* '''Cunning is only the mimic of discretion, and may pass upon weak men in the same manner as vivacity is often mistaken for wit, and gravity for wisdom.'''
** No. 225

* '''The cast of mind which is natural to a discreet man, make him look forward into futurity, and consider what will be his condition millions of ages hence, as well as what it is at present.''' He knows that the misery or happiness which are reserved for him in another world, lose nothing of their reality by being placed at so great a distance from him. The objects do not appear little to him because they are remote. He considers that those pleasures and pains which lie hid in eternity, approach nearer to him every moment, and will be present with him in their full weight and measure, as much as those pains and pleasures which he feels at this very instant. For this reason he is careful to secure to himself that which is the proper happiness of his nature, and the ultimate design of his being. He carries his thoughts to the end of every action, and considers the most distant as well as the most immediate effects of it. He supersedes every little prospect of gain and advantage which offers itself here, if he does not find it consistent with his views of an hereafter. '''In a word, his hopes are full of immortality, his schemes are large and glorious, and his conduct suitable to one who knows his true interest, and how to pursue it by proper methods.'''
** No. 225

=== ''The Freeholder'' (1715–1716) ===
* Arguments out of a pretty mouth are unanswerable.
** No. 4 (2 January 1716)

* '''There is no greater sign of a general decay of virtue in a nation, than a want of zeal in its inhabitants for the good of their country.'''
** No. 5 (6 January 1716)

* Though there is a benevolence due to all mankind, none can question but a superior degree of it is to be paid to a father, a wife, or a child. In the same manner, though our love should reach to the whole species, a greater proportion of it should exert itself towards that community in which Providence has placed us. This is our proper sphere of action, the province allotted us for the exercise of our civil virtues, and in which alone we have opportunities of expressing our good-will to mankind.
** No. 5 (6 January 1716)

* Prejudice and self-sufficiency naturally proceed from inexperience of the world, and ignorance of mankind.
** No. 30 (2 April 1716)

* '''When men are easy in their circumstances, they are naturally enemies to innovations.'''
** No. 42 (16 May 1716)

=== ''The Drummer'' (1716) ===
[[File:Carl Spitzweg - Aschermittwoch.jpg|thumb|right|We are growing serious, and, &lt;br/&gt; Let me tell you, that's the very next step to being dull.]]

* Round-heads and Wooden-shoes are standing jokes.
** prologue, l. 8

* '''We are growing serious, and, &lt;br/&gt; Let me tell you, that's the very next step to being dull.'''
** Act IV, sc. vi

* Antidotes are what you take to prevent dotes.
** Act IV, sc. vi

* There is nothing more requisite in business than dispatch.
** Act V, sc. 1

{{disputed begin}}

== Disputed ==
* If you wish success in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother and hope your guardian genius.
** The earliest appearance of this proverb yet located is in ''Eliza Cook's Journal'' Vol. 11, (1854), p. 128, and the earliest attribution to Addison yet found is in Henry Southgate, ed., ''[https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_New_Era/XD8DAAAAYAAJ?hl=en&amp;gbpv=1&amp;dq=addison%20%22hope%20your%20guardian%20genius%22&amp;pg=PA1&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;bsq=addison%20%22hope%20your%20guardian%20genius%22 Many Thoughts of Many Minds]'' (1862), p. 600.

* What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.
** This appears as an anonymous proverb in ''Frank Leslie's Sunday Magazine'' Vol. XIII, (January - June 1883) edited by T. De Witt Talmage, and apparently only in recent years has it become attributed to Addison.

* If men would consider not so much where they differ, as wherein they agree, there would be far less of uncharitableness and angry feeling in the world.
** Attributed to &quot;Addison&quot; in ''A Dictionary of Thoughts : Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, both Ancient and Modern'' (1908) edited by [[Tryon Edwards]], p. 117, but this might be the later &quot;Mr. Addison&quot; who was credited with publishing ''Interesting Anecdotes, Memoirs, Allegories, Essays, and Poetical Fragments'' (1794).

* Tradition is an important help to history, but its statements should be carefully scrutinized before we rely on them.
** Attributed to &quot;Addison&quot; in ''A Dictionary of Thoughts : Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, both Ancient and Modern'' (1908) edited by [[Tryon Edwards]], p. 580, but this might be the later &quot;Mr. Addison&quot; who was credited with publishing ''Interesting Anecdotes, Memoirs, Allegories, Essays, and Poetical Fragments'' (1794).

* The greatest sweetener of human life is Friendship. To raise this to the highest pitch of enjoyment, is a secret which but few discover.
** As quoted in ''Hugs for Girlfriends : Stories, Sayings, and Scriptures to Encourage and Inspire'' (2001) by Philis Boultinghouse and LeAnn Weiss, p. 7; there seem to be no published sources available for this statement prior to 2001.

{{disputed end}}
{{Misattributed begin}}

== Misattributed ==
:&lt;small&gt;Alphabetized by author&lt;/small&gt;

* A little nonsense now and then &lt;br/&gt; Is relished by the wisest men.
** This appears to be an anonymous proverb of unknown authorship, only occasionally attributed to Addison.

* With regard to donations always expect the most from prudent people, who keep their own accounts.
** This is attributed to Addison in ''The Columbia Dictionary of Quotations'' (1993) with a citation of &quot;Economy and Benevolence&quot; in ''Interesting Anecdotes, Memoirs, Allegories, Essays, and Poetical Fragments'' (1794) but that was a publication of a contemporary &quot;Mr. Addison&quot; in several volumes, and not the poet. Vol. III of that publication (in 1796), on page 205, does contain these lines, but as part of an anonymous ancecdote.

* Reading is a basic tool in the living of a good life.
** The earliest attributions of this remark to anyone are in 1941, to [[Mortimer Adler]], in ''How To Read A Book'' (1940), although this actually a paraphrased shortening of a statement in his preface: Reading — as explained (and defended) in this book — is a basic tool in the living of a good life.

* When you are at Rome, live as Romans live.
** St. [[w:Ambrose|Ambrose]], ''Si fueris Romæ, Romano vivito more'' as translated in ''Latin Proverbs and Quotations'' (1869) by Alfred Henderson; very commonly paraphrased as &quot;When in Rome do as the Romans do&quot;.

* To say that authority, whether secular or religious, supplies no ground for morality is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction.
** Sir [[Alfred Jules Ayer]], in his &quot;The Meaning of Life&quot;, collected in ''The Meaning of Life, and Other Essays'' (1990)

* There is not any present moment that is unconnected with some future one. The life of every man is a continued chain of incidents, each link of which hangs upon the former. The transition from cause to effect, from event to event, is often carried on by secret steps, which our foresight cannot divine, and our sagacity is unable to trace. Evil may at some future period bring forth good; and good may bring forth evil, both equally unexpected.
** Very often attributed to Addison, this is in fact by [[w:Hugh Blair|Hugh Blair]], published in Blair's ''Sermons'' (1815), Vol. 1, pp. 196-197.

* To a man of pleasure every moment appears to be lost, which partakes not of the vivacity of amusement.
** Very often attributed to Addison, this is apparently a paraphrase of a statement by [[w:Hugh Blair|Hugh Blair]], published in Blair's ''Sermons'' (1815), Vol. 1, p. 219, where he mentions &quot;men of pleasure and the men of business&quot;, and that &quot;To the former every moment appears to be lost, which partakes not of the vivacity of amusement&quot;.

* The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for.
** Widely quoted as an Addison maxim this is actually by the American clergyman George Washington Burnap (1802-1859), published in Burnap's ''The Sphere and Duties of Woman : A Course of Lectures'' (1848), Lecture IV.

* Justice is an unassailable fortress, built on the brow of a mountain which cannot be overthrown by the violence of torrents, nor demolished by the force of armies.
** [[w:Moncure D. Conway|Moncure Daniel Conway]], in ''The Sacred Anthology (Oriental) : A Book of Ethnical Scriptures'' 5th edition (1877), p. 386; this statement appears beneath an Arabian proverb, and [[Upton Sinclair]] later attributed it to the ''[[Qur'an]]'', in ''The Cry for Justice : An Anthology of the Literature of Social Protest'' (1915), p. 475.

* It is only imperfection that complains of what is imperfect. The more perfect we are the more gentle and quiet we become towards the defects of others.
** [[François Fénelon]], in [http://books.google.com/books?id=qJ4rAAAAYAAJ ''Selections from the Writings of Fenelon: With an appendix, containing a Memoir of his Life'' (1829) as translated by A Lady (Eliza Lee Cabot Follen)], Letter 37, p. 189.

* He that would pass the latter part of life with honour and decency, must, when he is young, consider that he shall one day be old; and remember, when he is old, that he has once been young.
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'', no. 50 (8 September 1750); many of Johnson's remarks have been attributed to Addison

* No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority.
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'', no. 148 (17 August 1751)

* That he delights in the misery of others no man will confess, and yet what other motive can make a father cruel?
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'', no. 148 (17 August 1751)

* The unjustifiable severity of a parent is loaded with this aggravation, that those whom he injures are always in his sight.
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'' no. 148 (17 August 1751)

* Education...is a companion which no misfortunes can depress, no clime destroy, no enemy alienate, no despotism enslave: at home a friend, abroad an introduction, in solitude a solace, in society an ornament: it chastens vice, it guides virtue, it gives at once a grace and government to genius. Without it, what is man? A splendid slave, a reasoning savage.
** Though sometimes attributed to Addison, this actually comes from a speech delivered by the Irish lawyer Charles Phillips in 1817, in the case of O'Mullan v. M'Korkill, published in ''Irish Eloquence: The Speeches of the Celebrated Irish Orators'' (1834) pp. 91-92.

* They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.
** Attributed to Addison in ''(K)new Words: Redefine Your Communication'' (2005), by Gloria Pierre, p. 120, there are no indications of such a statement in Addison's writings.

* Plenty of people wish to become devout, but no one wishes to be humble.
** A translation of one of [[François de La Rochefoucauld|La Rochefoucauld]]'s maxims, published posthumously in 1693. In the original: &quot;''Force gens veulent être dévots, mais personne ne veut être humble.''&quot;

* The beloved of the Almighty are: the rich who have the humility of the poor, and the poor who have the magnanimity of the rich.
** [[Saadi]] as translated in ''The Gulistān : Or, Rose-garden, of Shek̲h̲ Muslihu'd-dīn Sādī of Shīrāz'' as translated by Edward Backhouse Eastwick (1880), p. 203

* Jesters do often prove prophets.
** Not found in Addison's works, and &quot;Jesters do oft prove prophets&quot; is actually [[William Shakespeare]], in [[King Lear|''King Lear'']], Act V, sc. iii

* The utmost extent of man's knowledge, is to know that he knows nothing.
** These words, sometimes attributed to Addison, are not found in his works, but in ''The Spectator'', no. 54, he translates the following words of [[Socrates]], as quoted in [[Plato]]'s ''Apology'': &quot;When I left him, I reasoned thus with myself: I am wiser than this man, for neither of us appears to know anything great and good; but '''he fancies he knows something, although he knows nothing; whereas I, as I do not know anything, so I do not fancy I do. In this trifling particular, then, I appear to be wiser than he, because I do not fancy I know what I do not know.'''&quot;

* The chief ingredients in the composition of those qualities that gain esteem and praise, are good nature, truth, good sense, and good breeding.
** [[William Temple]], in &quot;Heads Designed for an Essay on Conversation&quot; in ''The Works of Sir William Temple, Bart. in Four Volumes'' (1757), Vol. III, p. 547

* The union of the Word and the Mind produces that mystery which is called Life... Learn deeply of the Mind and its mystery, for therein lies the secret of immortality.
** &quot;[http://magdelene.net/Thoth%20Hermes%20Trismegistus.htm The Life and Teachings of Thoth Hermes Trismegistus]&quot;, in ''The Secret Teachings of All Ages'' (1928) by the Canadian occultist [[w:Manly Hall|Manly Hall]]; a few quotation websites credit this to Addison.
{{Misattributed end}}

== Quotes about Addison ==
* In our way to the Club to-night, when I regretted that [[Oliver Goldsmith|Goldsmith]] would, upon every occasion, endeavour to shine, by which he often exposed himself; Mr. Langton observed, that he was not like Addison, who was content with the fame of his writings, and did not aim also at excellency in conversation, for which he found himself unfit; and that he said to a lady, who complained of his having talked little in company, &quot;Madam, I have but nine-pence in ready money, but I can draw for a thousand pounds&quot;.
** [[James Boswell]], in ''The Life of Samuel Johnson'' (1791), mentioning a contrast made of Addison's character and that of Oliver Goldsmith, in his accounts of 7 May 1773

* The last place in London to which I will ask the reader to accompany me with Addison is one which has changed but little since his time, and has been of late very much in all our thoughts—I mean Westminster Abbey. He tells us that in his serious and pensive moods he very often walked there by himself, where the gloominess of the place, with the solemnity of the building, and the condition of the people who lie in it, filled his mind with a melancholy, or rather a thoughtfulness, that was not unpleasing.
** {{cite journal|author=James G. Frazer|authorlink=James George Frazer|title=London Life in the Time of Addison|date=January 1922|journal=The Quarterly Review|pages=18–32|url=https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=hvd.32044092529320;view=1up;seq=44}} quote p. 32

* In the formal treatises Addison has three subjects: religion, classical literature, and Whig politics. His greatest delight in literature was the study of Latin poetry; and he was himself a most skilful writer of Latin verse—he is indeed more a poet in Latin than in English.
** A. C. Guthkelch {{cite journal|title=The Prose Works of Joseph Addison|volume=225|pages=238–250|journal=[[w:Quarterly Review|The Quarterly Review]]|url=https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=chi.78280796;view=1up;seq=258}} January 1916, quote p. 242

* '''Whoever wishes to attain an English style, familiar, but not coarse, and elegant, but not ostentatious, must give his days and nights to the volumes of Addison.'''
** [[Samuel Johnson]], ''Lives of the Most Eminent English Poets'' (1779-81), &quot;Addison&quot;

* As a man, he may not have deserved the adoration which he received from those who, bewitched by his fascinating society, and indebted for all the comforts of life to his generous and delicate friendship, worshipped him nightly, in his favourite temple at Button’s. But, after full inquiry and impartial reflection, we have long been convinced that he deserved as much love and esteem as can be justly claimed by any of our infirm and erring race. Some blemishes may undoubtedly be detected in his character; but the more carefully it is examined, the more it will appear, to use the phrase of the old anatomists, sound in the noble parts, free from all taint of perfidy, of cowardice, of cruelty, of ingratitude, of envy. Men may easily be named, in whom some particular good disposition has been more conspicuous than in Addison. But the just harmony of qualities, the exact temper between the stern and the humane virtues, the habitual observance of every law, not only of moral rectitude, but of moral grace and dignity, distinguish him from all men who have been tried by equally strong temptations, and about whose conduct we possess equally full information.
** [[Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1st Baron Macaulay|Thomas Macaulay]] in &quot;Essay on the Life and Writings of Addison&quot;, in ''Essays'' Vol. V (1866) &lt;!-- Hurd and Houghton --&gt;

* Just men, by whom impartial laws were given; &lt;br/&gt; And saints who taught and led the way to heaven. &lt;br/&gt; Ne'er to these chambers, where the mighty rest, &lt;br/&gt; Since their foundation came a nobler guest;&lt;br /&gt;Nor e’er was to the bowers of bliss conveyed &lt;br/&gt; A fairer spirit or more welcome shade.
**[[Thomas Tickell]], ''On the Death of Mr. Addison'' (1721)

* '''If in the stage I seek to soothe my care, &lt;br/&gt; I meet his soul which breathes in [[w:Joseph_Addison#Cato|Cato]] there'''; &lt;br/&gt; If pensive to the rural shades I rove, &lt;br/&gt; His shape o'ertakes me in the lonely grove; &lt;br/&gt; 'Twas there of just and good he reasoned strong, &lt;br/&gt; Cleared some great truth, or raised some serious song: &lt;br/&gt; There patient showed us the wise course to steer, &lt;br/&gt; A candid censor, and a friend severe; &lt;br/&gt; '''There taught us how to live; and (oh, too high &lt;br/&gt; The price for knowledge!) taught us how to die.'''
**[[Thomas Tickell]], ''On the Death of Mr. Addison'' (1721)

*The prose of Whig and Tory polemics contained a larger proportion of stuff destined to endure: Swift and Addison,as journalists spoke to the their day but have been overheard by the ages.
**[[G. M. Trevelyan]].&quot;England Under Queen Anne, Blenheim&quot;, Fontana Library,1965, Page 100

*The first ''English'' Writer who compos'd a regular Tragedy and infus'd a Spirit of Elegance thro' every Part of it, was the illustrious Mr. ''Addison''. His C&lt;small&gt;ATO&lt;/small&gt; is a Master-piece both with regard to the Diction, and to the Beauty and Harmony of the Numbers. The Character of ''Cato'' is, in my Opinion, vastly superiour to that of ''Cornelia'' in the P&lt;small&gt;OMPEY&lt;/small&gt; of ''Corneille'': For ''Cato'' is great without any Thing like Fustian, and ''Cornelia'', who besides is not a necessary Character, tends sometimes to bombast. Mr. ''Addison'''s ''Cato'' appears to me the greatest Character that was ever brought upon any Stage, but then the rest of them don't correspond to the Dignity of it: And this dramatic Piece so excellently well writ, is disfigur'd by a dull Love Plot, which spreads a certain Languor over the whole, that quite murders it.
**[[Voltaire]], ''Letters Concerning the English Nation'' (1733), pp. 178-179

* He dismissed his physicians, and with them all hopes of life. But with his hopes of life he dismissed not his concern for the living, but sent for a youth nearly related and finely accomplished, but not above being the better for good impressions from a dying friend. He came; but, life now glimmering in the socket, the dying friend was silent. After a decent and proper pause, the youth said, &quot;Dear sir, you sent for me: I believe and I hope that you have some commands; I shall hold them most sacred.&quot; May distant ages not only hear, but feel, the reply! Forcibly grasping the youth's hand, he softly said, &quot;See in what peace a Christian can die!&quot; He spoke with difficulty and soon expired. Through grace Divine, how great is man!
** [[Edward Young]] in [http://books.google.com/books?id=foM1AAAAMAAJ ''Conjectures on Original Composition'' (1759)]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Wikisource author}}
* [http://www.accd.edu/sac/english/bailey/addison.htm Joseph Addison page at San Antonio College]
* [http://eir.library.utoronto.ca/rpo/display/poet2.html Selected poetry at the University of Toronto]
* [http://eee.uci.edu/~papyri/Addison/ Prose and poetry of Addison] (Latin only)
* [http://www.constitution.org/addison/cato_play.htm The play ''Cato'' online] This play was one of [[George Washington]]'s favorites.

{{DEFAULTSORT:Addison, Joseph}}
[[Category:Academics from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:Politicians from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:English playwrights]]
[[Category:English essayists]]
[[Category:English poets]]
[[Category:Publishers]]
[[Category:Editors from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:Anglicans from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:1672 births]]
[[Category:1719 deaths]]
[[Category:Whig (British political party) politicians]]</text>
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      <text bytes="65860" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Joseph Addison by Sir Godfrey Kneller, Bt cleaned.jpg|thumb|right|I shall endeavor to enliven morality with wit, and to temper wit with morality.]]
[[File:Tenniel Saint Cecilia.jpg|thumb|right|Music, the greatest good that mortals know,&lt;br/&gt;And all of heaven we have below.]]
'''[[w:Joseph Addison|Joseph Addison]]''' ([[May 1]] [[1672]] – [[June 17]] [[1719]]) was an English politician and writer. His name is often remembered in tandem with that of his friend, [[Richard Steele]], with whom he founded ''[[w:The Spectator (1711)|The Spectator]]'' magazine.

== Quotes ==
[[File:Nicolas Poussin - Sainte Cécile.jpg|thumb|right|Music religious heat inspires, &lt;br/&gt;It wakes the soul, and lifts it high]]
[[File:Paradiso Canto 31.jpg|thumb|right|Keep up the loud harmonious song, &lt;br/&gt; And imitate the blest above, &lt;br/&gt; In joy, and harmony, and love.]]
[[File:Waterhouse,_John_William_-_Saint_Cecilia_-_1895.jpg|thumb|right|Let echo, too, perform her part, &lt;br/&gt;Prolonging every note with art]]
[[File:Albi - Sainte-Cécile - martyre de Sainte Cécile.jpg|thumb|right|A thousand trills and quivering sounds &lt;br/&gt;In airy circles o'er us fly, &lt;br/&gt;Till, wafted by a gentle breeze, &lt;br/&gt;They faint and languish by degrees, &lt;br/&gt;And at a distance die.]]
[[File:Egg Nebula.jpg|thumb|right|Where have my ravish'd senses been! &lt;br/&gt; What joys, what wonders, have I seen!]]
[[File:AnttlersNewM45.jpg|thumb|right|Every star, and every pow'r, &lt;br/&gt; Look down on this important hour]]
[[File:M51 whirlpool galaxy black hole.jpg|thumb|right|Should the whole frame of Nature round him break, &lt;br/&gt; In ruin and confusion hurled, &lt;br/&gt; He, unconcerned, would hear the mighty crack, &lt;br/&gt; And stand secure amidst a falling world.]]
[[File:Arches westminster abbey.jpg|thumb|right|When I consider rival wits placed side by side, or the holy men that divided the world with their contests and disputes, I reflect with sorrow and astonishment on the little competitions, factions, and debates of mankind.]]
[[File:Joseph Addison (1672-1719).jpg|thumb|right|There is no greater sign of a general decay of virtue in a nation, than a want of zeal in its inhabitants for the good of their country.]]

* '''Music, the greatest good that mortals know,&lt;br/&gt;And all of heaven we have below.'''
** ''Song for [[w:Saint Cecilia|St. Cecilia]]'s Day'' (1692), st. 3

* '''Music religious heat inspires, &lt;br/&gt;It wakes the soul, and lifts it high''', &lt;br/&gt;And wings it with sublime desires, &lt;br/&gt;And fits it to bespeak the Deity.
** ''Song for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1692), st. 4

* '''When time itself shall be no more, &lt;br/&gt; And all things in confusion hurl'd, &lt;br/&gt; Music shall then exert it's power, &lt;br/&gt; And sound survive the ruins of the world''': &lt;br/&gt; Then saints and angels shall agree &lt;br/&gt; In one eternal jubilee: &lt;br/&gt; '''All Heaven shall echo with their hymns divine, &lt;br/&gt; And God himself with pleasure see &lt;br/&gt; The whole creation in a chorus join.'''
** ''Song for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1692)

* '''Consecrate the place and day &lt;br/&gt; To music and Cecilia. &lt;br/&gt; Let no rough winds approach, nor dare &lt;br/&gt; Invade the hallow'd bounds, &lt;br/&gt; Nor rudely shake the tuneful air, &lt;br/&gt; Nor spoil the fleeting sounds.''' &lt;br/&gt; Nor mournful sigh nor groan be heard, &lt;br/&gt; But gladness dwell on every tongue; &lt;br/&gt; Whilst all, with voice and strings prepar'd, &lt;br/&gt; '''Keep up the loud harmonious song, &lt;br/&gt; And imitate the blest above, &lt;br/&gt; In joy, and harmony, and love.'''
** ''Song for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1692)

* On you, my lord, with anxious fear I wait, &lt;br/&gt; And from your judgment must expect my fate.
** ''A Poem to His Majesty'' (1695), l. 21

* '''Let echo, too, perform her part, &lt;br/&gt;Prolonging every note with art'''; &lt;br/&gt;And in a low expiring strain, &lt;br/&gt;Play all the concert o'er again.
** ''Ode for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1699), st. 4

* A thousand trills and quivering sounds &lt;br/&gt;In airy circles o'er us fly, &lt;br/&gt;Till, wafted by a gentle breeze, &lt;br/&gt;They faint and languish by degrees, &lt;br/&gt;And at a distance die.
** ''Ode on St. Cecilia's Day'' (1699), st. 6

* For wheresoe'er I turn my ravished eyes, &lt;br/&gt; Gay gilded scenes and shining prospects rise, &lt;br/&gt; Poetic fields encompass me around, &lt;br/&gt; And still I seem to tread on classic ground.
** ''A Letter from Italy'', to the Right Honourable Charles, Lord Halifax (1701)

* Fain would I Raphael's godlike art rehearse, &lt;br/&gt; And show th' immortal labours in my verse, &lt;br/&gt; Where from themingled strength of shade and light &lt;br/&gt; '''A new creation rises to my sight''', &lt;br/&gt; Such heavenly figures from his pencil flow, &lt;br/&gt; So warm with life his blended colours glow. &lt;br/&gt; From theme to theme with secret pleasure tost, &lt;br/&gt; Amidst the soft variety I 'm lost: &lt;br/&gt; Here pleasing airs my ravish'd soul confound &lt;br/&gt; With circling notes and labyrinths of sound; &lt;br/&gt; Here domes and temples rise in distant views, &lt;br/&gt; And opening palaces invite my Muse.
** ''A Letter from Italy'' (1703)

* When hosts of foes with foes engage, &lt;br/&gt; And round th' anointed hero rage, &lt;br/&gt; The cleaving fauchion I misguide, &lt;br/&gt; And turn the feather'd shaft aside.
** Second Angel, in ''Rosamond'' (c. 1707), Act III, sc. i

* '''Where have my ravish'd senses been! &lt;br/&gt; What joys, what wonders, have I seen!''' &lt;br/&gt; The scene yet stands before my eye, &lt;br/&gt; A thousand glorious deeds that lie &lt;br/&gt; In deep futurity obscure, &lt;br/&gt; Fights and triumphs immature, &lt;br/&gt; '''Heroes immers'd in time's dark womb, &lt;br/&gt; Ripening for mighty years to come, &lt;br/&gt; Break forth, and, to the day display'd, &lt;br/&gt; My soft inglorious hours upbraid. &lt;br/&gt; Transported with so bright a scheme, &lt;br/&gt; My waking life appears a dream.'''
** Henry in ''Rosamond'' (c. 1707), Act III, sc. i

* '''Every star, and every pow'r, &lt;br/&gt; Look down on this important hour''': &lt;br/&gt; Lend your protection and defence &lt;br/&gt; Every guard of innocence! &lt;br/&gt; Help me my Henry to assuage, &lt;br/&gt; To gain his love or bear his rage. &lt;br/&gt; '''Mysterious love, uncertain treasure,&lt;br/&gt;Hast thou more of pain or pleasure!&lt;br/&gt;Chill'd with tears,&lt;br/&gt;Kill'd with fears,&lt;br/&gt;Endless torments dwell about thee:&lt;br/&gt;Yet who would live, and live without thee!'''
** Queen Elinor in ''Rosamond'' (c. 1707), Act III, sc. ii

*The ''French'' are certainly the most implacable, and the most dangerous Enemys of the ''British'' Nation. Their Form of Government, their Religion, their Jealously of the ''British'' Power, as well as their Prosections of Commerce, and Pursuits of [[w:Universal monarchy|Universal Monarchy]], will fix them for ever in their Animosities and Aversions towards us, and make them catch at all Opportunities of subverting our Constitution, destroying our Religion, ruining our Trade, and sinking the Figure which we make among the Nations of ''Europe''...&lt;br&gt;As we are thus in a natural State of War, if I may so call it, with the ''French'' Nation; it is our Misfortune, that they are not only the most inveterate, but most formidable of our Enemies; and have the greatest Power, as well as the strongest Inclination to ruin us. 
**''The Present State of the War, and the Necessity of an Augmentation, Consider'd'' (1708), pp. 1-2

* '''The man resolved, and steady to his trust, &lt;br/&gt; Inflexible to ill, and obstinately just, &lt;br/&gt; May the rude rabble's insolence despise''', &lt;br/&gt; Their senseless clamours and tumultuous cries; &lt;br/&gt; The tyrant's fierceness he beguiles, &lt;br/&gt; And the stern brow, and the harsh voice defies, &lt;br/&gt; And with superior greatness smiles.
** Translation of ''[[Horace]]'', ''Odes'', Book III, ode iii

* '''Should the whole frame of Nature round him break, &lt;br/&gt; In ruin and confusion hurled, &lt;br/&gt; He, unconcerned, would hear the mighty crack, &lt;br/&gt; And stand secure amidst a falling world.'''
** Translation of ''[[Horace]]'', ''Odes'', Book III, ode iii

* When I read the several dates of the tombs, of some that died yesterday, and some six hundred years ago, I consider that great day when we shall all of us be contemporaries, and make our appearance together.
** ''Thoughts in Westminster Abbey'' (1711)

* '''When I read the epitaphs of the beautiful, every inordinate desire goes out'''; when I meet with the grief of parents upon a tombstone, my heart melts with compassion; when I see the tomb of the parents themselves, I consider the vanity of grieving for those whom we must quickly follow: '''when I see kings lying by those who deposed them, when I consider rival wits placed side by side, or the holy men that divided the world with their contests and disputes, I reflect with sorrow and astonishment on the little competitions, factions, and debates of mankind.'''
** ''Thoughts in Westminster Abbey'' (1711)

* '''See in what peace a Christian can die!'''
** Last words, to his stepson (1719), as quoted in ''Conjectures on Original Composition'' (1759) by [[w:Edward Young|Edward Young]]
** Variants:
** '''I have sent for you that you may see in what peace a Christian may die.'''
*** As quoted in ''The R. I. Schoolmaster'', Vol. V (1859), edited by William A. Mowry and Henry Clark, p. 71
** I have sent for you that you may see how a Christian may die.
*** As quoted in ''Famous Sayings and their Authors'' (1906) by Edward Latham

=== ''The Campaign'' (1704) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://addison.classicauthors.net/campaign/ Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:UK Royal Coat of Arms.svg|thumb|right|Great souls by instinct to each other turn, &lt;br/&gt; Demand alliance, and in friendship burn]]
[[File:Battle of Tolbiac.jpg|thumb|right|Nations with nations mix'd confus'dly die, &lt;br/&gt; And lost in one promiscuous carnage lie.]]
[[File:MichaelKi.jpg|thumb|right|Calm and serene he drives the furious blast; &lt;br/&gt;And, pleas'd th' Almighty's orders to perform, &lt;br/&gt;Rides in the whirlwind, and directs the storm.]]

* '''Great souls by instinct to each other turn, &lt;br/&gt; Demand alliance, and in friendship burn'''; &lt;br/&gt; A sudden friendship, while with stretched-out rays &lt;br/&gt; They meet each other, mingling blaze with blaze. &lt;br/&gt; Polished in courts, and hardened in the field, &lt;br/&gt; Renowned for conquest, and in council skilled, &lt;br/&gt; '''Their courage dwells not in a troubled flood &lt;br/&gt; Of mounting spirits, and fermenting blood: &lt;br/&gt; Lodged in the soul, with virtue overruled, &lt;br/&gt; Inflamed by reason, and by reason cooled, &lt;br/&gt; In hours of peace content to be unknown. &lt;br/&gt; And only in the field of battle shown: &lt;br/&gt; To souls like these, in mutual friendship joined, &lt;br/&gt; Heaven dares intrust the cause of humankind.'''
** Line 101

* '''Nations with nations mix'd confus'dly die, &lt;br/&gt; And lost in one promiscuous carnage lie.'''
** Line 152

* Unbounded courage and compassion join'd, &lt;br/&gt; Tempering each other in the victor's mind, &lt;br/&gt; Alternately proclaim him good and great, &lt;br/&gt; And make the hero and the man complete.
** Line 219

* '''So when an angel by divine command &lt;br/&gt;With rising tempests shakes a guilty land, &lt;br/&gt;Such as of late o'er pale Britannia passed, &lt;br/&gt;Calm and serene he drives the furious blast; &lt;br/&gt;And, pleas'd th' Almighty's orders to perform, &lt;br/&gt;Rides in the whirlwind, and directs the storm.'''
** Line 287, the word &quot;passed&quot; was here originally spelt &quot;past&quot; but modern renditions have updated the spelling for clarity. An alteration of these lines occurs in [[Alexander Pope]]'s satire ''[[The Dunciad|The Dunciad]]'', Book III, line 264, where he describes a contemporary theatre manager as an &quot;Angel of Dulness&quot;:
:: Immortal Rich! how calm he sits at ease, &lt;br/&gt; Midst snows of paper, and fierce hail of pease; &lt;br/&gt; And proud his mistress' order to perform, &lt;br/&gt; Rides in the whirlwind and directs the storm.

* O Dormer, how can I behold thy fate, &lt;br/&gt;And not the wonders of thy youth relate; &lt;br/&gt;How can I see the gay, the brave, the young, &lt;br/&gt;Fall in the cloud of war, and lie unsung! &lt;br/&gt;In joys of conquest he resigns his breath, &lt;br/&gt;And, filled with England's glory, smiles in death.
** Line 309

* '''Rais'd of themselves, their genuine charms they boast, &lt;br/&gt; And those who paint them truest praise them most.'''
** last lines

=== ''Cato, A Tragedy'' (1713)===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.constitution.org/addison/cato_play.htm Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Lightning8 - NOAA.jpg|thumb|right|Is there not some chosen curse, &lt;br/&gt; Some hidden thunder in the stores of heaven, &lt;br/&gt; Red with uncommon wrath, to blast the man &lt;br/&gt; Who owes his greatness to his country's ruin?]]
[[File:Marcus Porcius Cato.jpg|thumb|right|'Tis not in mortals to command success, &lt;br/&gt; But we'll do more, Sempronius; we'll deserve it.]]
[[File:Cato Utica Louvre LP2090.jpg|thumb|right|A day, an hour, of virtuous liberty &lt;br/&gt; Is worth a whole eternity in bondage.]]
[[File:Guillaume Guillon Lethière-The Death of Cato of Utica, 1795.jpg|thumb|right|What pity is it &lt;br/&gt; That we can die but once to serve our country!]]

* '''Is there not some chosen curse, &lt;br/&gt; Some hidden thunder in the stores of heaven, &lt;br/&gt; Red with uncommon wrath, to blast the man &lt;br/&gt; Who owes his greatness to his country's ruin?'''
** Act I, scene i

* The dawn is overcast, the morning lowers, &lt;br/&gt; And heavily in clouds brings on the day, &lt;br/&gt; The great, the important day, &lt;br/&gt; Big with the fate Of Cato, and of Rome.
** Act I, scene i

* Thy steady temper, Portius, &lt;br/&gt; Can look on guilt, rebellion, fraud, and Cæsar, &lt;br/&gt; In the calm lights of mild philosophy.
** Act I, scene i

* Love is not to be reason'd down, or lost&lt;br /&gt;In high ambition, and a thirst of greatness;&lt;br /&gt;'Tis second life, it grows into the soul,&lt;br /&gt;Warms every vein, and beats in every pulse.
** Act I, scene i

* ''' 'Tis not in mortals to command success, &lt;br/&gt; But we'll do more, Sempronius; we'll deserve it.'''
** Act I, scene ii

* Thy father's merit sets thee up to view, &lt;br/&gt; And shows thee in the fairest point of light, &lt;br/&gt; To make thy virtues, or thy faults, conspicuous.
** Act I, scene ii

* Oh! think what anxious moments pass between &lt;br/&gt; The birth of plots, and their last fatal periods, &lt;br/&gt; Oh! 'tis a dreadful interval of time, &lt;br/&gt; Filled up with horror all, and big with death!
** Act I, scene iii

* '''Better to die ten thousand deaths, &lt;br/&gt; Than wound my honour.'''
** Act I, scene iv

* If the following day he chance to find &lt;br/&gt; A new repast, or an untasted spring, &lt;br/&gt; Blesses his stars, and thinks it luxury.
** Act I, scene iv

* 'Tis [[pride]], rank pride, and haughtiness of soul: &lt;br/&gt; I think the Romans call it Stoicism.
** Act I, scene iv

* Were you with these, my prince, you'd soon forget &lt;br/&gt; The pale, unripened beauties of the north.
** Act I, scene iv

* Beauty soon grows familiar to the lover, &lt;br/&gt; Fades in his eye, and palls upon the sense.
** Act I, scene iv

* '''My voice is still for war. &lt;br/&gt; Gods! Can a Roman senate long debate &lt;br/&gt; Which of the two to choose, slavery or death?''' &lt;br/&gt; No, let us rise at once, &lt;br/&gt; Gird on our swords, and, &lt;br/&gt; At the head of our remaining troops, attack the foe, &lt;br/&gt; Break through the thick array of his throng'd legions, &lt;br/&gt; And charge home upon him. &lt;br/&gt; '''Perhaps some arm, more lucky than the rest, &lt;br/&gt; May reach his heart, and free the world from bondage.'''
** Act II, scene i

* '''A day, an hour, of virtuous liberty &lt;br/&gt; Is worth a whole eternity in bondage.'''
** Act II, scene i

* Great Pompey's shade complains that we are slow, &lt;br/&gt; And Scipio's ghost walks unavenged amongst us!
** Act II, scene i

* '''Young men soon give and soon forget affronts; &lt;br/&gt; Old age is slow in both.'''
** Act II, scene v

* The friendships of the world are oft &lt;br/&gt; Confederacies in vice, or leagues of pleasure; &lt;br/&gt; Ours has severest virtue for its basis, &lt;br/&gt; And such a friendship ends not but with life.
** Act III, scene i

* When love's well-timed 'tis not a fault of love; &lt;br/&gt; The strong, the brave, the virtuous, and the wise, &lt;br/&gt; Sink in the soft captivity together.
** Act III, scene i

* Loveliest of women! heaven is in thy soul, &lt;br/&gt; Beauty and virtue shine forever round thee, &lt;br/&gt; Bright'ning each other! thou art all divine!
** Act III, scene ii

* '''Talk not of love: thou never knew'st its force.'''
** Act III, scene ii

* To my confusion, and eternal grief, &lt;br/&gt; I must approve the sentence that destroys me.
** Act III, scene ii

* See they suffer death, &lt;br/&gt; But in their deaths remember they are men, &lt;br/&gt; '''Strain not the laws to make their tortures grievous.'''
** Act III, scene v

* Why wilt thou add to all the griefs I suffer &lt;br/&gt; Imaginary ills, and fancy'd tortures?
** Act IV, scene i

* When love once pleas admission to our hearts, &lt;br/&gt; (In spite of all the virtue we can boast), &lt;br/&gt; The woman that deliberates is lost.
** Variant: &quot;When love once pleads admission to our hearts...&quot;
** Act IV, scene i. The last line has often been misreported as &quot;He who hesitates is lost&quot;, a sentiment inspired by it but not penned by Addison. See Paul F. Boller, Jr., and John George, ''They Never Said It: A Book of Fake Quotes, Misquotes, &amp; Misleading Attributions'' (1989), p. 3

* I will indulge my sorrows, and give way &lt;br/&gt; To all the pangs and fury of despair.
** Act IV, scene iii

* Curse on his virtues! they've undone his country.
** Act IV, scene iv

* How beautiful is death, when earn'd by virtue! &lt;br/&gt; Who would not be that youth? '''What pity is it &lt;br/&gt; That we can die but once to serve our country!'''
** Act IV, scene iv

* '''Content thyself to be obscurely good. &lt;br/&gt; When vice prevails, and impious men bear sway, &lt;br/&gt; The post of honor is a private station.'''
** Act IV, scene iv

* O ye powers that search &lt;br/&gt; The heart of man, and weigh his inmost thoughts, &lt;br/&gt; If I have done amiss, impute it not! &lt;br/&gt; The best may err, but you are good.
** Act IV, scene iv

* Thanks to the gods! my boy has done his duty.
** Act IV, scene iv

* The honors of this world, what are they &lt;br/&gt; But puff, and emptiness, and peril of falling?
** Act IV, scene iv

* The stars shall fade away, the sun himself &lt;br/&gt; Grow dim with age, and nature sink in years, &lt;br/&gt; But thou shalt flourish in immortal youth, &lt;br/&gt; Unhurt amidst the wars of elements, &lt;br/&gt; The wrecks of matter, and the crush of worlds.
** Act V, scene i

[[File:Halo in cirrostratus 1.jpg|thumb|right|If there's a power above us, &lt;br/&gt; (And that there is all nature cries aloud &lt;br/&gt; Through all her works) he must delight in virtue.]]
* '''If there's a power above us, &lt;br/&gt; (And that there is all nature cries aloud &lt;br/&gt; Through all her works) he must delight in virtue.'''
** Act V, scene i

* It must be so — [[Plato]], thou reasonest well! &lt;br/&gt; Else whence this pleasing hope, this fond desire, &lt;br/&gt; This longing after immortality? &lt;br/&gt; Or whence this secret dread, and inward horror, &lt;br/&gt; O falling into nought? Why shrinks the soul &lt;br/&gt; Back on herself, and startles at destruction? &lt;br/&gt; 'Tis the divinity that stirs within us; &lt;br/&gt; ''' 'Tis heaven itself, that points out an hereafter, &lt;br/&gt; And intimates eternity to man.'''
** Act V, scene i

[[File:Sun-halo-roscoff.jpg|thumb|right|Nature does nothing without purpose or uselessly.]]
* '''Eternity! thou pleasing dreadful thought!''' &lt;br/&gt; Through what variety of untried being, &lt;br/&gt; Through what new scenes and changes must we pass!
** Act V, scene i

* I'm weary of conjectures,—this must end 'em. &lt;br/&gt; Thus am I doubly armed: '''my death and life, &lt;br/&gt; My bane and antidote, are both before me''': &lt;br/&gt; This in a moment brings me to an end; &lt;br/&gt; But this informs me I shall never die. &lt;br/&gt; The soul, secured in her existence, smiles &lt;br/&gt; At the drawn dagger, and defies its point. &lt;br/&gt; The stars shall fade away, the sun himself &lt;br/&gt; Grow dim with age, and Nature sink in years; &lt;br/&gt; But thou shalt flourish in immortal youth, &lt;br/&gt; Unhurt amidst the war of elements, &lt;br/&gt; The wrecks of matter, and the crush of worlds.
** Act V, scene i

* '''Nature does nothing without purpose or uselessly.'''
** Act V, scene i

* The ideal man bears the accidents of life &lt;br/&gt; With dignity and grace, the best of circumstances.
** Act V, scene i

* '''The soul, secured in her existence, smiles &lt;br/&gt; At the drawn dagger, and defies its point.'''
** Act V, scene i

* What means this heaviness that hangs upon me? &lt;br/&gt; This lethargy that creeps through all my senses? &lt;br/&gt; Nature, oppress'd and harrass'd out with care, &lt;br/&gt; Sinks down to rest.
** Act V, scene i

* Sweet are the slumbers of the virtuous man.
** Act V, scene iv

* '''From hence, let fierce contending nations know, &lt;br/&gt; What dire effects from civil discord flow.'''
** Act V, scene iv

=== ''The Guardian'' (1713) ===
[[File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|thumb|right|There in no virtue so truly great and godlike as justice.]]

* '''There is no virtue so truly great and godlike as justice.'''
** No. 99

* To be perfectly just is an attribute in the divine nature; to be so to the utmost of our abilities, is the glory of man.
** No. 99

* '''Justice discards party, friendship, kindred, and is therefore always represented as blind.'''
** No. 99

* '''Knowledge is, indeed, that which, next to virtue, truly and essentially raises one man above another.'''
** No. 111

* When I read the rules of criticism, I immediately inquire after the works of the author who has written them, and by that means discover what it is he likes in a composition.
** No. 115

* Courage that grows from constitution very often forsakes a man when he has occasion for it, and when it is only a kind of instinct in the Soul breaks out on all occasions without judgment or discretion. That courage which proceeds from the sense of our duty, and from the fear of offending Him that made us, acts always in a uniform manner, and according to the dictates of right reason.
** No. 117

* Blessings may appear under the shape of pains, losses and disappointments; but let him have patience, and he will see them in their proper figures.
** No. 117

* '''A good conscience is to the soul what health is to the body'''; '''it preserves a constant ease and serenity within us''', and more than countervails all the calamities and afflictions which can possibly befall us.
** No. 135

* The sense of honour is of so fine and delicate a nature, that it is only to be met with in minds which are naturally noble, or in such as have been cultivated by good examples, or a refined education.
** No. 161

* Charity is a virtue of the heart, and not of the hands.
** No. 166

* '''Gifts and alms are the expressions, not the essence, of this virtue.'''
** No. 166

=== ''[[w:The Spectator (1711)|The Spectator]]'' (1711–1714) ===
[[File:The Spectator 1788.jpg|thumb|right|I live in the world rather as a spectator of mankind than as one of the species.]]
[[File:SépultureCathelineau.JPG|thumb|right|The Fear of Death often proves Mortal, and sets People on Methods to save their Lives, which infallibly destroy them.]]

* '''If I can any way contribute to the diversion or improvement of the country in which I live, I shall leave it, when I am summoned out of it, with the secret satisfaction of thinking that I have not lived in vain.'''
** No. 1 (1 March 1711)

* '''Thus I live in the world rather as a spectator of mankind than as one of the species.'''
** No. 1 (1 March 1711)

* To be exempt from the passions with which others are tormented, is the only pleasing solitude.
** No. 4 (5 March 1711)

* I would... earnestly advise them for their good to order this paper to be punctually served up, and to be looked upon as a part of the tea equipage.
** No. 10 (11 March 1711)

* '''I shall endeavor to enliven morality with wit, and to temper wit with morality.'''
** No. 10 (11 March 1711)

* '''True happiness is of a retired nature, and an enemy to pomp and noise; it arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one's self, and in the next, from the friendship and conversation of a few select companions.'''
** No. 15 (March 17, 1711)

* '''That nothing is capable of being well set to Musick, that is not Nonsense.'''
** No. 18 (March 21, 1711)

* '''The Fear of Death often proves Mortal''', and sets People on Methods to save their Lives, which infallibly destroy them.
** No. 25 (29 March 1711)

* It is indeed very possible, that the Persons we laugh at may in the main of their Characters be much wiser Men than our selves; but if they would have us laugh at them, they must fall short of us in those Respects which stir up this Passion.
** No. 47 (24 April 1711)

* In all thy humours, whether grave or mellow, &lt;br/&gt; Thou 'rt such a touchy, testy, pleasant fellow, &lt;br/&gt; Hast so much wit and mirth and spleen about thee, &lt;br/&gt; There is no living with thee, nor without thee.
** No. 68 (18 May 1911)

* '''There is not a more unhappy being than a superannuated idol.'''
** No. 73 (24 May 1711)

* A man that has a taste of music, painting, or architecture, is like one that has another sense, when compared with such as have no relish of those arts.
** No. 93 (16 June 1711)

* '''Of all the diversions of life, there is none so proper to fill up its empty spaces as the reading of useful and entertaining authors.'''
** No. 94 (18 June 1711)

* There is not so variable a thing in Nature as a lady's head-dress.
** No. 98 (22 June 1711)

* &quot;Censure,&quot; says [[Jonathan Swift|a late ingenious author]], &quot;is the tax a man plays for being eminent.&quot; It is a folly for an eminent man to think of escaping it, and a weakness to be affected with it. '''All the illustrious persons of antiquity, and indeed of every age in the world, have passed through this fiery persecution. There is no defense against reproach but obscurity'''; it is a kind of comitant to greatness, as satires and invectives were an essential part of a Roman triumph.
** No. 101 (26 June 1711)

* '''If men of eminence are exposed to censure on one hand, they are as much liable to flattery on the other. If they receive reproaches which are not due to them, they likewise receive praises which they do not deserve.''' In a word, the man in a high post is never regarded with an indifferent eye, but always considered as a friend or an enemy. For this reason persons in great stations have seldom their true characters drawn till several years after their deaths. Their personal friendships and enmities must cease, and the parties they were engaged in be at an end, before their faults or their virtues can have justice done them. When writers have the least opportunity of knowing the truth, they are in the best disposition to tell it. &lt;br/&gt; It is therefore the privilege of posterity to adjust the characters of illustrious persons, and to set matters right between those antagonists who by their rivalry for greatness divided a whole age into factions.
** No. 101 (26 June 1711), this has sometimes been quoted as &quot;It is the privilege of posterity to set matters right between those antagonists who, by their rivalry for greatness, divided a whole age&quot;.

[[File:A Commonwealth Cross of Sacrifice or War Cross.jpg|thumb|right|Much might be said on both sides.]]
* [[Sunday]] clears away the rust of the whole week.
** No. 112 (9 July 1711)

* Exercise ferments the humors, casts them into their proper channels, throws off redundancies, and helps nature in those secret distributions, without which the body cannot subsist in its vigor, nor the soul act with cheerfulness.
** No. 115 (12 July 1711)

* When I consider the Question, Whether there are such Persons in the World as those we call Witches? my Mind is divided between the two opposite Opinions; or rather (to speak my Thoughts freely) I believe in general that there is, and has been such a thing as Witchcraft; but at the same time can give no Credit to any Particular Instance of it.
** No. 117 (14 July 1711)

* Animals in their generation are wiser than the sons of men; but their wisdom is confined to a few particulars, and lies in a very narrow compass.
** No. 120 (18 July 1711)

* The most violent appetites in all creatures are lust and hunger: the first is a perpetual call upon them to propogate their kind; the latter to preserve themselves.
** No. 120 (18 July 1711)

* '''Much might be said on both sides.'''
** No. 122 (20 July 1711)

* '''A man's first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart; his next to escape the censures of the world''': if the last interferes with the former, it ought to be entirely neglected; but otherwise there cannot be a greater satisfaction to an honest mind, than to see those approbations which it gives itself seconded by the applauses of the public: a man is more sure of his conduct, when the verdict which he passes upon his own behaviour is thus warranted and confirmed by the opinion of all that know him.
** On &quot;[[w:Roger de Coverley|Sir Roger]]&quot;, in No. 122 (20 July 1711)

* Authors have established it as a kind of rule, that a man ought to be dull sometimes; as the most severe reader makes allowances for many rests and nodding places in a voluminous writer.
** No. 124 (23 July 1711)

* A cloudy day or a little sunshine have as great an influence on many constitutions as the most real blessings or misfortunes.
** No. 162 (5 September 1711)

* Mutability of temper and inconsistency with ourselves is the greatest weakness of human nature.
** No. 162 (5 September 1711)

* The circumstance which gives authors an advantage above all these great masters, is this, that they can multiply their originals; or rather, can make copies of their works, to what number they please, which shall be as valuable as the originals themselves.
** No. 166 (10 September 1711)

* '''Books are the legacies that a great genius leaves to mankind''', which are delivered down from generation to generation, as presents to the posterity of those who are yet unborn.
** No. 166 (10 September 1711)

* Man is subject to innumerable pains and sorrows by the very condition of humanity, and yet, as if nature had not sown evils enough in life, we are continually adding grief to grief, and aggravating the common calamity by our cruel treatment of one another.
** No. 169 (13 September 1711)

* '''Good nature is more agreeable in conversation than wit, and gives a certain air to the countenance which is more amiable than beauty.'''
** No. 169 (13 September 1711)

* I have somewhere met with the epitaph of a charitable man, which has very much pleased me. I cannot recollect the words, but the sense of it is to this purpose; '''''What I spent I lost; what I possessed is left to others; what I gave away remains with me.'''''
** No. 177 (22 September 1711)

* I would fain ask one of these bigotted Infidels, supposing all the great Points of Atheism … were laid together and formed into a kind of Creed, according to the Opinions of the most celebrated Atheists; I say, supposing such a Creed as this were formed, and imposed upon any one People in the World, whether it would not require an infinitely greater Measure of Faith, than any Set of Articles which they so violently oppose.
** [http://archive.twoaspirinsandacomedy.com/spectator/spectator.php?line=185 No. 185] (2 October 1711).
** Often misquoted as &quot;To be an atheist requires an infinitely greater measure of faith than to receive all the great truths which atheism would deny.&quot;

* The man who will live above his present circumstances is in great danger of living in a little time much beneath them; or as the Italian proverb runs, &quot;The man who lives by hope, will die by hunger.&quot;
** No. 191 (9 October 1711)

* Were I to prescribe a rule for drinking, it should be formed upon a saying quoted by Sir [[William Temple]]: the first glass for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the fourth for mine enemies.
** No. 195 (13 October 1711)

[[File:Reconciliation by Vasconcellos, Coventry.jpg|thumb|right|A man must be excessively stupid, as well as uncharitable, who believes that there is no virtue but on his own side, and that there are not men as honest as himself who may differ from him in political principles.]]
* I consider an human soul without education like marble in the quarry, which shews none of its inherent beauties till the skill of the polisher fetches out the colours, makes the surface shine, and discovers every ornamental cloud, spot and vein that runs through the body of it.
** No. 215 (6 November 1711)

* What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to the human soul.
** No. 215 (6 November 1711)

* Discretion is a perfection of reason, and a guide to us in all the duties of life.
** No. 225 (17 November 1711)

* A just and reasonable modesty does not only recommend eloquence, but sets off every great talent which a man can be possessed of.
** No. 231 (24 November 1711)

* Mere bashfulness without merit is awkward; and merit without modesty, insolent. But modest merit has a double claim to acceptance, and generally meets with as many patrons as beholders.
** No. 231 (24 November 1711)

* Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue.
** No. 231 (24 November 1711)

* '''A man must be excessively stupid, as well as uncharitable, who believes that there is no virtue but on his own side, and that there are not men as honest as himself who may differ from him in political principles.'''
** No. 243 (8 December 1711)

[[File:Thanksgiving chapel interior.jpg|thumb|right|Some virtues are only seen in affliction and some in prosperity.]]
* '''What an absurd thing it is to pass over all the valuable parts of a man, and fix our attention on his infirmities.'''
** No. 249 (15 December 1711)

* Were not this desire of fame very strong, the difficulty of obtaining it, and the danger of losing it when obtained, would be sufficient to deter a man from so vain a pursuit.
** No. 255 (22 December 1711)

* Admiration is a very short-lived passion that immediately decays upon growing familiar with its object, unless it be still fed with fresh discoveries, and kept alive by a new perpetual succession of miracles rising up to its view.
** No. 256 (24 December 1711)
** Often only the first half of this statement is quoted

* Ambition raises a secret tumult in the soul, it inflames the mind, and puts it into a violent hurry of thought.
** No. 256 (24 December 1711)

* '''Some virtues are only seen in affliction and some in prosperity.'''
** No. 257 (25 December 1711)

* I have often thought, says Sir Roger, it happens very well that Christmas should fall out in the Middle of the Winter
** No. 269 (8 January 1712)

[[File:Double-alaskan-rainbow.jpg|thumb|right|Health and cheerfulness mutually beget each other.]]
* '''A true critic ought to dwell rather upon excellencies than imperfections, to discover the concealed beauties of a writer, and communicate to the world such things as are worth their observation.'''
** No. 291 (2 February 1712)

* These widows, sir, are the most perverse creatures in the world.
** No. 335 (25 March 1712)

* '''Death only closes a Man's Reputation, and determines it as good or bad.'''
** No. 349 (10 April 1712); famously seen on the brothel wall in the film ''[[w:Easy Rider|Easy Rider]]''.

* Mirth is like a flash of lightning, that breaks through a gloom of clouds, and glitters for a moment; cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind, and fills it with a steady and perpetual serenity.
** No. 381 (17 May 1712)

* Sir Roger made several reflections on the greatness of the British Nation; as, that one Englishman could beat three Frenchmen; that we could never be in danger of Popery so long as we took care of our fleet; that the Thames was the noblest river in Europe...with many other honest prejudices which naturally cleave to the heart of a true Englishman.
** No. 383 (20 May 1712)

* '''Cheerfulness is...the best promoter of health.'''
** No. 387 (24 May 1712)

* '''Health and cheerfulness mutually beget each other.'''
** No. 387 (24 May 1712)

[[File:CL0024+17.jpg|thumb|right|The spacious firmament on high, &lt;br/&gt; With all the blue ethereal sky, &lt;br/&gt; And spangled heavens, a shining frame, &lt;br/&gt; Their great Original proclaim.]]
* Everything that is new or uncommon raises a pleasure in the imagination, because it fills the soul with an agreeable surprise, gratifies its curiosity, and gives it an idea of which it was not before possessed.
** No. 412 (23 June 1712)

* The Lord my pasture shall prepare, &lt;br/&gt; And feed me with a shepherd's care; &lt;br/&gt; His presence shall my wants supply, &lt;br/&gt; And guard me with a watchful eye.
** No. 444 (26 July 1712)

* Our delight in any particular study, art, or science rises and improves in proportion to the application which we bestow upon it. Thus, what was at first an exercise becomes at length an entertainment.
** No. 447 (2 August 1712)

* When all thy mercies, O my God, &lt;br/&gt; My rising soul surveys, &lt;br/&gt; '''Transported with the view, I'm lost &lt;br/&gt; In wonder, love and praise.'''
** No. 453 (9 August 1712)

* '''The spacious firmament on high, &lt;br/&gt; With all the blue ethereal sky, &lt;br/&gt; And spangled heavens, a shining frame, &lt;br/&gt; Their great Original proclaim.'''
** No. 465, ''Ode'' (23 August 1712).
** Also in ''The Polite Arts'' (1749), Chap. XXI. &quot;Of Lyrick Poetry.&quot; 

* Soon as the evening shades prevail, &lt;br/&gt; The moon takes up the wondrous tale, &lt;br/&gt; And nightly to the listening earth &lt;br/&gt; Repeats the story of her birth; &lt;br/&gt; While all the stars that round her burn, &lt;br/&gt; And all the planets in their turn, &lt;br/&gt; Confirm the tidings as they roll, &lt;br/&gt; And spread the truth from pole to pole.
** No. 465, ''Ode'' (23 August 1712)

* What though no real voice nor sound &lt;br/&gt; Amid their radiant orbs be found ; &lt;br/&gt; In reason's ear they all rejoice, &lt;br/&gt; And utter forth a glorious voice, &lt;br/&gt; Forever singing as they shine, &lt;br/&gt; &quot;The Hand that made us divine.&quot;
** No. 465, ''Ode'' (23 August 1712)

* A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
** No. 475 (4 September 1712)

* Method is not less requisite in ordinary conversation than in writing, provided a man would talk to make himself understood.
** No. 476 (5 September 1712)

* Our disputants put me in mind of the skuttle fish, that when he is unable to extricate himself, blackens all the water about him, till he becomes invisible.
** No. 476 (5 September 1712)

* Irregularity and want of method are only supportable in men of great learning or genius, who are often too full to be exact, and therefore choose to throw down their pearls in heaps before the reader, rather than be at the pains of stringing them.
** No. 476 (5 September 1712)

[[File:Georges Seurat 019.jpg|thumb|right|Man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter.]]
* '''I value my garden more for being full of blackbirds than cherries, and very frankly give them fruit for their songs.'''
** No. 477 (6 September 1712)

* The fraternity of the henpecked.
** No. 482 (12 September 1712)

* '''If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter.'''
** No. 494 (26 September 1712)

* There is nothing which we receive with so much reluctance as advice.
** No. 512 (17 October 1712)

* '''If we hope for what we are not likely to possess, we act and think in vain, and make life a greater dream and shadow than it really is.'''
** No. 535 (13 November 1712)

* An ostentatious man will rather relate a blunder or an absurdity he has committed, than be debarred from talking of his own dear person.
** No. 562 (2 July 1714)

* '''A man should always consider how much he has more than he wants.'''
** No. 574 (30 July 1714)

* '''Upon the whole, a contented mind is the greatest blessing a man can enjoy in this world.'''
** No. 574 (30 July 1714)

* We are always doing something for Posterity, but I would fain see Posterity do something for us.
** No. 587 (20 August 1714)

=== ''The Tatler'' (1711–1714) ===
* Men may change their climate, but they cannot change their nature. A man that goes out a fool cannot ride or sail himself into common sense.
** No. 93

* Silence never shows itself to so great an advantage, as when it is made the reply to calumny and defamation, provided that we give no just occasion for them.
** No. 133

* A misery is not to be measured from the nature of the evil, but from the temper of the sufferer.
** No. 146

* '''Reading is to the mind, what exercise is to the body.''' As by the one, health is preserved, strengthened, and invigorated: by the other, virtue (which is the health of the mind) is kept alive, cherished, and confirmed.
** No. 147

* '''A cheerful temper joined with innocence will make beauty attractive, knowledge delightful and wit good-natured.'''
** No. 192

* Advertisements are of great use to the vulgar. First of all, as they are instruments of ambition. A man that is by no means big enough for the Gazette, may easily creep into the advertisements; by which means we often see an apothecary in the same paper of news with a plenipotentiary, or a running footman with an ambassador.
** No. 224

[[File:Caspar David Friedrich - Wanderer above the sea of fog.jpg|thumb|right|Discretion has large and extended views, and, like a well-formed eye, commands a whole horizon: cunning is a kind of short-sightedness, that discovers the minutest objects which are near at hand, but is not able to discern things at a distance.]]
* '''The great art in writing advertisements is the finding out a proper method to catch the reader's eye; without which a good thing may pass over unobserved, or be lost among commissions of bankrupt.'''
** No. 224

[[File:Brocken Spectre at Peak Korzhenevskaya.jpg|thumb|right|There are many more shining qualities in the mind of man, but there is none so useful as discretion...]]
* I Have often thought if the minds of men were laid open, we should see but little difference between that of the wise man and that of the fool. There are infinite reveries, numberless extravagances, and a perpetual train of vanities which pass through both. The great difference is, that the first knows how to pick and cull his thoughts for conversation, by suppressing some, and communicating others; whereas the other lets them all indifferently fly out in words.
** No. 225

* '''There are many more shining qualities in the mind of man, but there is none so useful as discretion'''; it is this, indeed, which gives a value to all the rest, which sets them at work in their proper times and places, and turns them to the advantage of the person who is possessed of them. Without it, learning is pedantry, and wit impertinence; virtue itself looks like weakness; the best parts only qualify a man to be more sprightly in errors, and active to his own prejudice.
** No. 225

* '''The discreet man finds out the talents of those he converses with, and knows how to apply them to proper uses.''' Accordingly, if we look into particular communities and divisions of men, we may observe that it is the discreet man, not the witty, nor the learned, nor the brave, who guides the conversation, and gives measures to the society.
** No. 225

* '''Though a man has all other perfections, and wants discretion, he will be of no great consequence in the world'''; but if he has this single talent in perfection, and but a common share of others, he may do what he pleases in his station of life.
** No. 225

[[File:Hoag's object.jpg|thumb|right|The cast of mind which is natural to a discreet man, make him look forward into futurity, and consider what will be his condition millions of ages hence, as well as what it is at present.]]
* '''At the same time that I think discretion the most useful talent a man can be master of, I look upon cunning to be the accomplishment of little, mean, ungenerous minds.''' Discretion points out the noblest ends to us, and pursues the most proper and laudable methods of attaining them: cunning has only private selfish aims, and sticks at nothing which may make them succeed. '''Discretion has large and extended views, and, like a well-formed eye, commands a whole horizon: cunning is a kind of short-sightedness, that discovers the minutest objects which are near at hand, but is not able to discern things at a distance. Discretion the more it is discovered, gives a greater authority to the person who possesses it: cunning, when it is once detected, loses its force, and makes a man incapable of bringing about even those events which he might have done had he passed only for a plain man.''' Discretion is the perfection of reason, and a guide to us in all the duties of life: cunning is a kind of instinct, that only looks out after our immediate interest and welfare. Discretion is only found in men of strong sense and good understandings, cunning is often to be met with in brutes themselves, and in persons who are but the fewest removes from them.
** No. 225

* '''Cunning is only the mimic of discretion, and may pass upon weak men in the same manner as vivacity is often mistaken for wit, and gravity for wisdom.'''
** No. 225

* '''The cast of mind which is natural to a discreet man, make him look forward into futurity, and consider what will be his condition millions of ages hence, as well as what it is at present.''' He knows that the misery or happiness which are reserved for him in another world, lose nothing of their reality by being placed at so great a distance from him. The objects do not appear little to him because they are remote. He considers that those pleasures and pains which lie hid in eternity, approach nearer to him every moment, and will be present with him in their full weight and measure, as much as those pains and pleasures which he feels at this very instant. For this reason he is careful to secure to himself that which is the proper happiness of his nature, and the ultimate design of his being. He carries his thoughts to the end of every action, and considers the most distant as well as the most immediate effects of it. He supersedes every little prospect of gain and advantage which offers itself here, if he does not find it consistent with his views of an hereafter. '''In a word, his hopes are full of immortality, his schemes are large and glorious, and his conduct suitable to one who knows his true interest, and how to pursue it by proper methods.'''
** No. 225

=== ''The Freeholder'' (1715–1716) ===
* Arguments out of a pretty mouth are unanswerable.
** No. 4 (2 January 1716)

* '''There is no greater sign of a general decay of virtue in a nation, than a want of zeal in its inhabitants for the good of their country.'''
** No. 5 (6 January 1716)

* Though there is a benevolence due to all mankind, none can question but a superior degree of it is to be paid to a father, a wife, or a child. In the same manner, though our love should reach to the whole species, a greater proportion of it should exert itself towards that community in which Providence has placed us. This is our proper sphere of action, the province allotted us for the exercise of our civil virtues, and in which alone we have opportunities of expressing our good-will to mankind.
** No. 5 (6 January 1716)

* Prejudice and self-sufficiency naturally proceed from inexperience of the world, and ignorance of mankind.
** No. 30 (2 April 1716)

* '''When men are easy in their circumstances, they are naturally enemies to innovations.'''
** No. 42 (16 May 1716)

=== ''The Drummer'' (1716) ===
[[File:Carl Spitzweg - Aschermittwoch.jpg|thumb|right|We are growing serious, and, &lt;br/&gt; Let me tell you, that's the very next step to being dull.]]

* Round-heads and Wooden-shoes are standing jokes.
** prologue, l. 8

* '''We are growing serious, and, &lt;br/&gt; Let me tell you, that's the very next step to being dull.'''
** Act IV, sc. vi

* Antidotes are what you take to prevent dotes.
** Act IV, sc. vi

* There is nothing more requisite in business than dispatch.
** Act V, sc. 1

{{disputed begin}}

== Disputed ==
* If you wish success in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother and hope your guardian genius.
** The earliest appearance of this proverb yet located is in ''Eliza Cook's Journal'' Vol. 11, (1854), p. 128, and the earliest attribution to Addison yet found is in Henry Southgate, ed., ''[https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_New_Era/XD8DAAAAYAAJ?hl=en&amp;gbpv=1&amp;dq=addison%20%22hope%20your%20guardian%20genius%22&amp;pg=PA1&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;bsq=addison%20%22hope%20your%20guardian%20genius%22 Many Thoughts of Many Minds]'' (1862), p. 600.

* What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.
** This appears as an anonymous proverb in ''Frank Leslie's Sunday Magazine'' Vol. XIII, (January - June 1883) edited by T. De Witt Talmage, and apparently only in recent years has it become attributed to Addison.

* If men would consider not so much where they differ, as wherein they agree, there would be far less of uncharitableness and angry feeling in the world.
** Attributed to &quot;Addison&quot; in ''A Dictionary of Thoughts : Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, both Ancient and Modern'' (1908) edited by [[Tryon Edwards]], p. 117, but this might be the later &quot;Mr. Addison&quot; who was credited with publishing ''Interesting Anecdotes, Memoirs, Allegories, Essays, and Poetical Fragments'' (1794).

* Tradition is an important help to history, but its statements should be carefully scrutinized before we rely on them.
** Attributed to &quot;Addison&quot; in ''A Dictionary of Thoughts : Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, both Ancient and Modern'' (1908) edited by [[Tryon Edwards]], p. 580, but this might be the later &quot;Mr. Addison&quot; who was credited with publishing ''Interesting Anecdotes, Memoirs, Allegories, Essays, and Poetical Fragments'' (1794).

* The greatest sweetener of human life is Friendship. To raise this to the highest pitch of enjoyment, is a secret which but few discover.
** As quoted in ''Hugs for Girlfriends : Stories, Sayings, and Scriptures to Encourage and Inspire'' (2001) by Philis Boultinghouse and LeAnn Weiss, p. 7; there seem to be no published sources available for this statement prior to 2001.

{{disputed end}}
{{Misattributed begin}}

== Misattributed ==
:&lt;small&gt;Alphabetized by author&lt;/small&gt;

* A little nonsense now and then &lt;br/&gt; Is relished by the wisest men.
** This appears to be an anonymous proverb of unknown authorship, only occasionally attributed to Addison.

* With regard to donations always expect the most from prudent people, who keep their own accounts.
** This is attributed to Addison in ''The Columbia Dictionary of Quotations'' (1993) with a citation of &quot;Economy and Benevolence&quot; in ''Interesting Anecdotes, Memoirs, Allegories, Essays, and Poetical Fragments'' (1794) but that was a publication of a contemporary &quot;Mr. Addison&quot; in several volumes, and not the poet. Vol. III of that publication (in 1796), on page 205, does contain these lines, but as part of an anonymous ancecdote.

* Reading is a basic tool in the living of a good life.
** The earliest attributions of this remark to anyone are in 1941, to [[Mortimer Adler]], in ''How To Read A Book'' (1940), although this actually a paraphrased shortening of a statement in his preface: Reading — as explained (and defended) in this book — is a basic tool in the living of a good life.

* When you are at Rome, live as Romans live.
** St. [[w:Ambrose|Ambrose]], ''Si fueris Romæ, Romano vivito more'' as translated in ''Latin Proverbs and Quotations'' (1869) by Alfred Henderson; very commonly paraphrased as &quot;When in Rome do as the Romans do&quot;.

* To say that authority, whether secular or religious, supplies no ground for morality is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction.
** Sir [[Alfred Jules Ayer]], in his &quot;The Meaning of Life&quot;, collected in ''The Meaning of Life, and Other Essays'' (1990)

* There is not any present moment that is unconnected with some future one. The life of every man is a continued chain of incidents, each link of which hangs upon the former. The transition from cause to effect, from event to event, is often carried on by secret steps, which our foresight cannot divine, and our sagacity is unable to trace. Evil may at some future period bring forth good; and good may bring forth evil, both equally unexpected.
** Very often attributed to Addison, this is in fact by [[w:Hugh Blair|Hugh Blair]], published in Blair's ''Sermons'' (1815), Vol. 1, pp. 196-197.

* To a man of pleasure every moment appears to be lost, which partakes not of the vivacity of amusement.
** Very often attributed to Addison, this is apparently a paraphrase of a statement by [[w:Hugh Blair|Hugh Blair]], published in Blair's ''Sermons'' (1815), Vol. 1, p. 219, where he mentions &quot;men of pleasure and the men of business&quot;, and that &quot;To the former every moment appears to be lost, which partakes not of the vivacity of amusement&quot;.

* The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for.
** Widely quoted as an Addison maxim this is actually by the American clergyman George Washington Burnap (1802-1859), published in Burnap's ''The Sphere and Duties of Woman : A Course of Lectures'' (1848), Lecture IV.

* Justice is an unassailable fortress, built on the brow of a mountain which cannot be overthrown by the violence of torrents, nor demolished by the force of armies.
** [[w:Moncure D. Conway|Moncure Daniel Conway]], in ''The Sacred Anthology (Oriental) : A Book of Ethnical Scriptures'' 5th edition (1877), p. 386; this statement appears beneath an Arabian proverb, and [[Upton Sinclair]] later attributed it to the ''[[Qur'an]]'', in ''The Cry for Justice : An Anthology of the Literature of Social Protest'' (1915), p. 475.

* It is only imperfection that complains of what is imperfect. The more perfect we are the more gentle and quiet we become towards the defects of others.
** [[François Fénelon]], in [http://books.google.com/books?id=qJ4rAAAAYAAJ ''Selections from the Writings of Fenelon: With an appendix, containing a Memoir of his Life'' (1829) as translated by A Lady (Eliza Lee Cabot Follen)], Letter 37, p. 189.

* He that would pass the latter part of life with honour and decency, must, when he is young, consider that he shall one day be old; and remember, when he is old, that he has once been young.
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'', no. 50 (8 September 1750); many of Johnson's remarks have been attributed to Addison

* No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority.
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'', no. 148 (17 August 1751)

* That he delights in the misery of others no man will confess, and yet what other motive can make a father cruel?
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'', no. 148 (17 August 1751)

* The unjustifiable severity of a parent is loaded with this aggravation, that those whom he injures are always in his sight.
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'' no. 148 (17 August 1751)

* Education...is a companion which no misfortunes can depress, no clime destroy, no enemy alienate, no despotism enslave: at home a friend, abroad an introduction, in solitude a solace, in society an ornament: it chastens vice, it guides virtue, it gives at once a grace and government to genius. Without it, what is man? A splendid slave, a reasoning savage.
** Though sometimes attributed to Addison, this actually comes from a speech delivered by the Irish lawyer Charles Phillips in 1817, in the case of O'Mullan v. M'Korkill, published in ''Irish Eloquence: The Speeches of the Celebrated Irish Orators'' (1834) pp. 91-92.

* They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.
** Attributed to Addison in ''(K)new Words: Redefine Your Communication'' (2005), by Gloria Pierre, p. 120, there are no indications of such a statement in Addison's writings.

* Plenty of people wish to become devout, but no one wishes to be humble.
** A translation of one of [[François de La Rochefoucauld|La Rochefoucauld]]'s maxims, published posthumously in 1693. In the original: &quot;''Force gens veulent être dévots, mais personne ne veut être humble.''&quot;

* The beloved of the Almighty are: the rich who have the humility of the poor, and the poor who have the magnanimity of the rich.
** [[Saadi]] as translated in ''The Gulistān : Or, Rose-garden, of Shek̲h̲ Muslihu'd-dīn Sādī of Shīrāz'' as translated by Edward Backhouse Eastwick (1880), p. 203

* Jesters do often prove prophets.
** Not found in Addison's works, and &quot;Jesters do oft prove prophets&quot; is actually [[William Shakespeare]], in [[King Lear|''King Lear'']], Act V, sc. iii

* The utmost extent of man's knowledge, is to know that he knows nothing.
** These words, sometimes attributed to Addison, are not found in his works, but in ''The Spectator'', no. 54, he translates the following words of [[Socrates]], as quoted in [[Plato]]'s ''Apology'': &quot;When I left him, I reasoned thus with myself: I am wiser than this man, for neither of us appears to know anything great and good; but '''he fancies he knows something, although he knows nothing; whereas I, as I do not know anything, so I do not fancy I do. In this trifling particular, then, I appear to be wiser than he, because I do not fancy I know what I do not know.'''&quot;

* The chief ingredients in the composition of those qualities that gain esteem and praise, are good nature, truth, good sense, and good breeding.
** [[William Temple]], in &quot;Heads Designed for an Essay on Conversation&quot; in ''The Works of Sir William Temple, Bart. in Four Volumes'' (1757), Vol. III, p. 547

* The union of the Word and the Mind produces that mystery which is called Life... Learn deeply of the Mind and its mystery, for therein lies the secret of immortality.
** &quot;[http://magdelene.net/Thoth%20Hermes%20Trismegistus.htm The Life and Teachings of Thoth Hermes Trismegistus]&quot;, in ''The Secret Teachings of All Ages'' (1928) by the Canadian occultist [[w:Manly Hall|Manly Hall]]; a few quotation websites credit this to Addison.
{{Misattributed end}}

== Quotes about Addison ==
* In our way to the Club to-night, when I regretted that [[Oliver Goldsmith|Goldsmith]] would, upon every occasion, endeavour to shine, by which he often exposed himself; Mr. Langton observed, that he was not like Addison, who was content with the fame of his writings, and did not aim also at excellency in conversation, for which he found himself unfit; and that he said to a lady, who complained of his having talked little in company, &quot;Madam, I have but nine-pence in ready money, but I can draw for a thousand pounds&quot;.
** [[James Boswell]], in ''The Life of Samuel Johnson'' (1791), mentioning a contrast made of Addison's character and that of Oliver Goldsmith, in his accounts of 7 May 1773

* The last place in London to which I will ask the reader to accompany me with Addison is one which has changed but little since his time, and has been of late very much in all our thoughts—I mean Westminster Abbey. He tells us that in his serious and pensive moods he very often walked there by himself, where the gloominess of the place, with the solemnity of the building, and the condition of the people who lie in it, filled his mind with a melancholy, or rather a thoughtfulness, that was not unpleasing.
** {{cite journal|author=James G. Frazer|authorlink=James George Frazer|title=London Life in the Time of Addison|date=January 1922|journal=The Quarterly Review|pages=18–32|url=https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=hvd.32044092529320;view=1up;seq=44}} quote p. 32

* In the formal treatises Addison has three subjects: religion, classical literature, and Whig politics. His greatest delight in literature was the study of Latin poetry; and he was himself a most skilful writer of Latin verse—he is indeed more a poet in Latin than in English.
** A. C. Guthkelch {{cite journal|title=The Prose Works of Joseph Addison|volume=225|pages=238–250|journal=[[w:Quarterly Review|The Quarterly Review]]|url=https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=chi.78280796;view=1up;seq=258}} January 1916, quote p. 242

* '''Whoever wishes to attain an English style, familiar, but not coarse, and elegant, but not ostentatious, must give his days and nights to the volumes of Addison.'''
** [[Samuel Johnson]], ''Lives of the Most Eminent English Poets'' (1779-81), &quot;Addison&quot;

* As a man, he may not have deserved the adoration which he received from those who, bewitched by his fascinating society, and indebted for all the comforts of life to his generous and delicate friendship, worshipped him nightly, in his favourite temple at Button’s. But, after full inquiry and impartial reflection, we have long been convinced that he deserved as much love and esteem as can be justly claimed by any of our infirm and erring race. Some blemishes may undoubtedly be detected in his character; but the more carefully it is examined, the more it will appear, to use the phrase of the old anatomists, sound in the noble parts, free from all taint of perfidy, of cowardice, of cruelty, of ingratitude, of envy. Men may easily be named, in whom some particular good disposition has been more conspicuous than in Addison. But the just harmony of qualities, the exact temper between the stern and the humane virtues, the habitual observance of every law, not only of moral rectitude, but of moral grace and dignity, distinguish him from all men who have been tried by equally strong temptations, and about whose conduct we possess equally full information.
** [[Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1st Baron Macaulay|Thomas Macaulay]] in &quot;Essay on the Life and Writings of Addison&quot;, in ''Essays'' Vol. V (1866) &lt;!-- Hurd and Houghton --&gt;

* Just men, by whom impartial laws were given; &lt;br/&gt; And saints who taught and led the way to heaven. &lt;br/&gt; Ne'er to these chambers, where the mighty rest, &lt;br/&gt; Since their foundation came a nobler guest;&lt;br /&gt;Nor e’er was to the bowers of bliss conveyed &lt;br/&gt; A fairer spirit or more welcome shade.
**[[Thomas Tickell]], ''On the Death of Mr. Addison'' (1721)

* '''If in the stage I seek to soothe my care, &lt;br/&gt; I meet his soul which breathes in [[w:Joseph_Addison#Cato|Cato]] there'''; &lt;br/&gt; If pensive to the rural shades I rove, &lt;br/&gt; His shape o'ertakes me in the lonely grove; &lt;br/&gt; 'Twas there of just and good he reasoned strong, &lt;br/&gt; Cleared some great truth, or raised some serious song: &lt;br/&gt; There patient showed us the wise course to steer, &lt;br/&gt; A candid censor, and a friend severe; &lt;br/&gt; '''There taught us how to live; and (oh, too high &lt;br/&gt; The price for knowledge!) taught us how to die.'''
**[[Thomas Tickell]], ''On the Death of Mr. Addison'' (1721)

*The prose of Whig and Tory polemics contained a larger proportion of stuff destined to endure: Swift and Addison,as journalists spoke to the their day but have been overheard by the ages.
**[[G. M. Trevelyan]].&quot;England Under Queen Anne, Blenheim&quot;, Fontana Library,1965, Page 100

*The first ''English'' Writer who compos'd a regular Tragedy and infus'd a Spirit of Elegance thro' every Part of it, was the illustrious Mr. ''Addison''. His C&lt;small&gt;ATO&lt;/small&gt; is a Master-piece both with regard to the Diction, and to the Beauty and Harmony of the Numbers. The Character of ''Cato'' is, in my Opinion, vastly superiour to that of ''Cornelia'' in the P&lt;small&gt;OMPEY&lt;/small&gt; of ''Corneille'': For ''Cato'' is great without any Thing like Fustian, and ''Cornelia'', who besides is not a necessary Character, tends sometimes to bombast. Mr. ''Addison'''s ''Cato'' appears to me the greatest Character that was ever brought upon any Stage, but then the rest of them don't correspond to the Dignity of it: And this dramatic Piece so excellently well writ, is disfigur'd by a dull Love Plot, which spreads a certain Languor over the whole, that quite murders it.
**[[Voltaire]], ''Letters Concerning the English Nation'' (1733), pp. 178-179

* He dismissed his physicians, and with them all hopes of life. But with his hopes of life he dismissed not his concern for the living, but sent for a youth nearly related and finely accomplished, but not above being the better for good impressions from a dying friend. He came; but, life now glimmering in the socket, the dying friend was silent. After a decent and proper pause, the youth said, &quot;Dear sir, you sent for me: I believe and I hope that you have some commands; I shall hold them most sacred.&quot; May distant ages not only hear, but feel, the reply! Forcibly grasping the youth's hand, he softly said, &quot;See in what peace a Christian can die!&quot; He spoke with difficulty and soon expired. Through grace Divine, how great is man!
** [[Edward Young]] in [http://books.google.com/books?id=foM1AAAAMAAJ ''Conjectures on Original Composition'' (1759)]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Wikisource author}}
* [http://www.accd.edu/sac/english/bailey/addison.htm Joseph Addison page at San Antonio College]
* [http://eir.library.utoronto.ca/rpo/display/poet2.html Selected poetry at the University of Toronto]
* [http://eee.uci.edu/~papyri/Addison/ Prose and poetry of Addison] (Latin only)
* [http://www.constitution.org/addison/cato_play.htm The play ''Cato'' online] This play was one of [[George Washington]]'s favorites.

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[[File:Tenniel Saint Cecilia.jpg|thumb|right|Music, the greatest good that mortals know,&lt;br/&gt;And all of heaven we have below.]]
'''[[w:Joseph Addison|Joseph Addison]]''' ([[May 1]] [[1672]] – [[June 17]] [[1719]]) was an English politician and writer. His name is often remembered in tandem with that of his friend, [[Richard Steele]], with whom he founded ''[[w:The Spectator (1711)|The Spectator]]'' magazine.

== Quotes ==
[[File:Nicolas Poussin - Sainte Cécile.jpg|thumb|right|Music religious heat inspires, &lt;br/&gt;It wakes the soul, and lifts it high]]
[[File:Paradiso Canto 31.jpg|thumb|right|Keep up the loud harmonious song, &lt;br/&gt; And imitate the blest above, &lt;br/&gt; In joy, and harmony, and love.]]
[[File:Waterhouse,_John_William_-_Saint_Cecilia_-_1895.jpg|thumb|right|Let echo, too, perform her part, &lt;br/&gt;Prolonging every note with art]]
[[File:Albi - Sainte-Cécile - martyre de Sainte Cécile.jpg|thumb|right|A thousand trills and quivering sounds &lt;br/&gt;In airy circles o'er us fly, &lt;br/&gt;Till, wafted by a gentle breeze, &lt;br/&gt;They faint and languish by degrees, &lt;br/&gt;And at a distance die.]]
[[File:Egg Nebula.jpg|thumb|right|Where have my ravish'd senses been! &lt;br/&gt; What joys, what wonders, have I seen!]]
[[File:AnttlersNewM45.jpg|thumb|right|Every star, and every pow'r, &lt;br/&gt; Look down on this important hour]]
[[File:M51 whirlpool galaxy black hole.jpg|thumb|right|Should the whole frame of Nature round him break, &lt;br/&gt; In ruin and confusion hurled, &lt;br/&gt; He, unconcerned, would hear the mighty crack, &lt;br/&gt; And stand secure amidst a falling world.]]
[[File:Arches westminster abbey.jpg|thumb|right|When I consider rival wits placed side by side, or the holy men that divided the world with their contests and disputes, I reflect with sorrow and astonishment on the little competitions, factions, and debates of mankind.]]
[[File:Joseph Addison (1672-1719).jpg|thumb|right|There is no greater sign of a general decay of virtue in a nation, than a want of zeal in its inhabitants for the good of their country.]]

* '''Music, the greatest good that mortals know,&lt;br/&gt;And all of heaven we have below.'''
** ''Song for [[w:Saint Cecilia|St. Cecilia]]'s Day'' (1692), st. 3

* '''Music religious heat inspires, &lt;br/&gt;It wakes the soul, and lifts it high''', &lt;br/&gt;And wings it with sublime desires, &lt;br/&gt;And fits it to bespeak the Deity.
** ''Song for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1692), st. 4

* '''When time itself shall be no more, &lt;br/&gt; And all things in confusion hurl'd, &lt;br/&gt; Music shall then exert it's power, &lt;br/&gt; And sound survive the ruins of the world''': &lt;br/&gt; Then saints and angels shall agree &lt;br/&gt; In one eternal jubilee: &lt;br/&gt; '''All Heaven shall echo with their hymns divine, &lt;br/&gt; And God himself with pleasure see &lt;br/&gt; The whole creation in a chorus join.'''
** ''Song for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1692)

* '''Consecrate the place and day &lt;br/&gt; To music and Cecilia. &lt;br/&gt; Let no rough winds approach, nor dare &lt;br/&gt; Invade the hallow'd bounds, &lt;br/&gt; Nor rudely shake the tuneful air, &lt;br/&gt; Nor spoil the fleeting sounds.''' &lt;br/&gt; Nor mournful sigh nor groan be heard, &lt;br/&gt; But gladness dwell on every tongue; &lt;br/&gt; Whilst all, with voice and strings prepar'd, &lt;br/&gt; '''Keep up the loud harmonious song, &lt;br/&gt; And imitate the blest above, &lt;br/&gt; In joy, and harmony, and love.'''
** ''Song for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1692)

* On you, my lord, with anxious fear I wait, &lt;br/&gt; And from your judgment must expect my fate.
** ''A Poem to His Majesty'' (1695), l. 21

* '''Let echo, too, perform her part, &lt;br/&gt;Prolonging every note with art'''; &lt;br/&gt;And in a low expiring strain, &lt;br/&gt;Play all the concert o'er again.
** ''Ode for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1699), st. 4

* A thousand trills and quivering sounds &lt;br/&gt;In airy circles o'er us fly, &lt;br/&gt;Till, wafted by a gentle breeze, &lt;br/&gt;They faint and languish by degrees, &lt;br/&gt;And at a distance die.
** ''Ode on St. Cecilia's Day'' (1699), st. 6

* For wheresoe'er I turn my ravished eyes, &lt;br/&gt; Gay gilded scenes and shining prospects rise, &lt;br/&gt; Poetic fields encompass me around, &lt;br/&gt; And still I seem to tread on classic ground.
** ''A Letter from Italy'', to the Right Honourable Charles, Lord Halifax (1701)

* Fain would I Raphael's godlike art rehearse, &lt;br/&gt; And show th' immortal labours in my verse, &lt;br/&gt; Where from themingled strength of shade and light &lt;br/&gt; '''A new creation rises to my sight''', &lt;br/&gt; Such heavenly figures from his pencil flow, &lt;br/&gt; So warm with life his blended colours glow. &lt;br/&gt; From theme to theme with secret pleasure tost, &lt;br/&gt; Amidst the soft variety I 'm lost: &lt;br/&gt; Here pleasing airs my ravish'd soul confound &lt;br/&gt; With circling notes and labyrinths of sound; &lt;br/&gt; Here domes and temples rise in distant views, &lt;br/&gt; And opening palaces invite my Muse.
** ''A Letter from Italy'' (1703)

* When hosts of foes with foes engage, &lt;br/&gt; And round th' anointed hero rage, &lt;br/&gt; The cleaving fauchion I misguide, &lt;br/&gt; And turn the feather'd shaft aside.
** Second Angel, in ''Rosamond'' (c. 1707), Act III, sc. i

* '''Where have my ravish'd senses been! &lt;br/&gt; What joys, what wonders, have I seen!''' &lt;br/&gt; The scene yet stands before my eye, &lt;br/&gt; A thousand glorious deeds that lie &lt;br/&gt; In deep futurity obscure, &lt;br/&gt; Fights and triumphs immature, &lt;br/&gt; '''Heroes immers'd in time's dark womb, &lt;br/&gt; Ripening for mighty years to come, &lt;br/&gt; Break forth, and, to the day display'd, &lt;br/&gt; My soft inglorious hours upbraid. &lt;br/&gt; Transported with so bright a scheme, &lt;br/&gt; My waking life appears a dream.'''
** Henry in ''Rosamond'' (c. 1707), Act III, sc. i

* '''Every star, and every pow'r, &lt;br/&gt; Look down on this important hour''': &lt;br/&gt; Lend your protection and defence &lt;br/&gt; Every guard of innocence! &lt;br/&gt; Help me my Henry to assuage, &lt;br/&gt; To gain his love or bear his rage. &lt;br/&gt; '''Mysterious love, uncertain treasure,&lt;br/&gt;Hast thou more of pain or pleasure!&lt;br/&gt;Chill'd with tears,&lt;br/&gt;Kill'd with fears,&lt;br/&gt;Endless torments dwell about thee:&lt;br/&gt;Yet who would live, and live without thee!'''
** Queen Elinor in ''Rosamond'' (c. 1707), Act III, sc. ii

*The ''French'' are certainly the most implacable, and the most dangerous Enemys of the ''British'' Nation. Their Form of Government, their Religion, their Jealousy of the ''British'' Power, as well as their Prosections of Commerce, and Pursuits of [[w:Universal monarchy|Universal Monarchy]], will fix them for ever in their Animosities and Aversions towards us, and make them catch at all Opportunities of subverting our Constitution, destroying our Religion, ruining our Trade, and sinking the Figure which we make among the Nations of ''Europe''...&lt;br&gt;As we are thus in a natural State of War, if I may so call it, with the ''French'' Nation; it is our Misfortune, that they are not only the most inveterate, but most formidable of our Enemies; and have the greatest Power, as well as the strongest Inclination to ruin us. 
**''The Present State of the War, and the Necessity of an Augmentation, Consider'd'' (1708), pp. 1-2

* '''The man resolved, and steady to his trust, &lt;br/&gt; Inflexible to ill, and obstinately just, &lt;br/&gt; May the rude rabble's insolence despise''', &lt;br/&gt; Their senseless clamours and tumultuous cries; &lt;br/&gt; The tyrant's fierceness he beguiles, &lt;br/&gt; And the stern brow, and the harsh voice defies, &lt;br/&gt; And with superior greatness smiles.
** Translation of ''[[Horace]]'', ''Odes'', Book III, ode iii

* '''Should the whole frame of Nature round him break, &lt;br/&gt; In ruin and confusion hurled, &lt;br/&gt; He, unconcerned, would hear the mighty crack, &lt;br/&gt; And stand secure amidst a falling world.'''
** Translation of ''[[Horace]]'', ''Odes'', Book III, ode iii

* When I read the several dates of the tombs, of some that died yesterday, and some six hundred years ago, I consider that great day when we shall all of us be contemporaries, and make our appearance together.
** ''Thoughts in Westminster Abbey'' (1711)

* '''When I read the epitaphs of the beautiful, every inordinate desire goes out'''; when I meet with the grief of parents upon a tombstone, my heart melts with compassion; when I see the tomb of the parents themselves, I consider the vanity of grieving for those whom we must quickly follow: '''when I see kings lying by those who deposed them, when I consider rival wits placed side by side, or the holy men that divided the world with their contests and disputes, I reflect with sorrow and astonishment on the little competitions, factions, and debates of mankind.'''
** ''Thoughts in Westminster Abbey'' (1711)

* '''See in what peace a Christian can die!'''
** Last words, to his stepson (1719), as quoted in ''Conjectures on Original Composition'' (1759) by [[w:Edward Young|Edward Young]]
** Variants:
** '''I have sent for you that you may see in what peace a Christian may die.'''
*** As quoted in ''The R. I. Schoolmaster'', Vol. V (1859), edited by William A. Mowry and Henry Clark, p. 71
** I have sent for you that you may see how a Christian may die.
*** As quoted in ''Famous Sayings and their Authors'' (1906) by Edward Latham

=== ''The Campaign'' (1704) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://addison.classicauthors.net/campaign/ Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:UK Royal Coat of Arms.svg|thumb|right|Great souls by instinct to each other turn, &lt;br/&gt; Demand alliance, and in friendship burn]]
[[File:Battle of Tolbiac.jpg|thumb|right|Nations with nations mix'd confus'dly die, &lt;br/&gt; And lost in one promiscuous carnage lie.]]
[[File:MichaelKi.jpg|thumb|right|Calm and serene he drives the furious blast; &lt;br/&gt;And, pleas'd th' Almighty's orders to perform, &lt;br/&gt;Rides in the whirlwind, and directs the storm.]]

* '''Great souls by instinct to each other turn, &lt;br/&gt; Demand alliance, and in friendship burn'''; &lt;br/&gt; A sudden friendship, while with stretched-out rays &lt;br/&gt; They meet each other, mingling blaze with blaze. &lt;br/&gt; Polished in courts, and hardened in the field, &lt;br/&gt; Renowned for conquest, and in council skilled, &lt;br/&gt; '''Their courage dwells not in a troubled flood &lt;br/&gt; Of mounting spirits, and fermenting blood: &lt;br/&gt; Lodged in the soul, with virtue overruled, &lt;br/&gt; Inflamed by reason, and by reason cooled, &lt;br/&gt; In hours of peace content to be unknown. &lt;br/&gt; And only in the field of battle shown: &lt;br/&gt; To souls like these, in mutual friendship joined, &lt;br/&gt; Heaven dares intrust the cause of humankind.'''
** Line 101

* '''Nations with nations mix'd confus'dly die, &lt;br/&gt; And lost in one promiscuous carnage lie.'''
** Line 152

* Unbounded courage and compassion join'd, &lt;br/&gt; Tempering each other in the victor's mind, &lt;br/&gt; Alternately proclaim him good and great, &lt;br/&gt; And make the hero and the man complete.
** Line 219

* '''So when an angel by divine command &lt;br/&gt;With rising tempests shakes a guilty land, &lt;br/&gt;Such as of late o'er pale Britannia passed, &lt;br/&gt;Calm and serene he drives the furious blast; &lt;br/&gt;And, pleas'd th' Almighty's orders to perform, &lt;br/&gt;Rides in the whirlwind, and directs the storm.'''
** Line 287, the word &quot;passed&quot; was here originally spelt &quot;past&quot; but modern renditions have updated the spelling for clarity. An alteration of these lines occurs in [[Alexander Pope]]'s satire ''[[The Dunciad|The Dunciad]]'', Book III, line 264, where he describes a contemporary theatre manager as an &quot;Angel of Dulness&quot;:
:: Immortal Rich! how calm he sits at ease, &lt;br/&gt; Midst snows of paper, and fierce hail of pease; &lt;br/&gt; And proud his mistress' order to perform, &lt;br/&gt; Rides in the whirlwind and directs the storm.

* O Dormer, how can I behold thy fate, &lt;br/&gt;And not the wonders of thy youth relate; &lt;br/&gt;How can I see the gay, the brave, the young, &lt;br/&gt;Fall in the cloud of war, and lie unsung! &lt;br/&gt;In joys of conquest he resigns his breath, &lt;br/&gt;And, filled with England's glory, smiles in death.
** Line 309

* '''Rais'd of themselves, their genuine charms they boast, &lt;br/&gt; And those who paint them truest praise them most.'''
** last lines

=== ''Cato, A Tragedy'' (1713)===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.constitution.org/addison/cato_play.htm Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Lightning8 - NOAA.jpg|thumb|right|Is there not some chosen curse, &lt;br/&gt; Some hidden thunder in the stores of heaven, &lt;br/&gt; Red with uncommon wrath, to blast the man &lt;br/&gt; Who owes his greatness to his country's ruin?]]
[[File:Marcus Porcius Cato.jpg|thumb|right|'Tis not in mortals to command success, &lt;br/&gt; But we'll do more, Sempronius; we'll deserve it.]]
[[File:Cato Utica Louvre LP2090.jpg|thumb|right|A day, an hour, of virtuous liberty &lt;br/&gt; Is worth a whole eternity in bondage.]]
[[File:Guillaume Guillon Lethière-The Death of Cato of Utica, 1795.jpg|thumb|right|What pity is it &lt;br/&gt; That we can die but once to serve our country!]]

* '''Is there not some chosen curse, &lt;br/&gt; Some hidden thunder in the stores of heaven, &lt;br/&gt; Red with uncommon wrath, to blast the man &lt;br/&gt; Who owes his greatness to his country's ruin?'''
** Act I, scene i

* The dawn is overcast, the morning lowers, &lt;br/&gt; And heavily in clouds brings on the day, &lt;br/&gt; The great, the important day, &lt;br/&gt; Big with the fate Of Cato, and of Rome.
** Act I, scene i

* Thy steady temper, Portius, &lt;br/&gt; Can look on guilt, rebellion, fraud, and Cæsar, &lt;br/&gt; In the calm lights of mild philosophy.
** Act I, scene i

* Love is not to be reason'd down, or lost&lt;br /&gt;In high ambition, and a thirst of greatness;&lt;br /&gt;'Tis second life, it grows into the soul,&lt;br /&gt;Warms every vein, and beats in every pulse.
** Act I, scene i

* ''' 'Tis not in mortals to command success, &lt;br/&gt; But we'll do more, Sempronius; we'll deserve it.'''
** Act I, scene ii

* Thy father's merit sets thee up to view, &lt;br/&gt; And shows thee in the fairest point of light, &lt;br/&gt; To make thy virtues, or thy faults, conspicuous.
** Act I, scene ii

* Oh! think what anxious moments pass between &lt;br/&gt; The birth of plots, and their last fatal periods, &lt;br/&gt; Oh! 'tis a dreadful interval of time, &lt;br/&gt; Filled up with horror all, and big with death!
** Act I, scene iii

* '''Better to die ten thousand deaths, &lt;br/&gt; Than wound my honour.'''
** Act I, scene iv

* If the following day he chance to find &lt;br/&gt; A new repast, or an untasted spring, &lt;br/&gt; Blesses his stars, and thinks it luxury.
** Act I, scene iv

* 'Tis [[pride]], rank pride, and haughtiness of soul: &lt;br/&gt; I think the Romans call it Stoicism.
** Act I, scene iv

* Were you with these, my prince, you'd soon forget &lt;br/&gt; The pale, unripened beauties of the north.
** Act I, scene iv

* Beauty soon grows familiar to the lover, &lt;br/&gt; Fades in his eye, and palls upon the sense.
** Act I, scene iv

* '''My voice is still for war. &lt;br/&gt; Gods! Can a Roman senate long debate &lt;br/&gt; Which of the two to choose, slavery or death?''' &lt;br/&gt; No, let us rise at once, &lt;br/&gt; Gird on our swords, and, &lt;br/&gt; At the head of our remaining troops, attack the foe, &lt;br/&gt; Break through the thick array of his throng'd legions, &lt;br/&gt; And charge home upon him. &lt;br/&gt; '''Perhaps some arm, more lucky than the rest, &lt;br/&gt; May reach his heart, and free the world from bondage.'''
** Act II, scene i

* '''A day, an hour, of virtuous liberty &lt;br/&gt; Is worth a whole eternity in bondage.'''
** Act II, scene i

* Great Pompey's shade complains that we are slow, &lt;br/&gt; And Scipio's ghost walks unavenged amongst us!
** Act II, scene i

* '''Young men soon give and soon forget affronts; &lt;br/&gt; Old age is slow in both.'''
** Act II, scene v

* The friendships of the world are oft &lt;br/&gt; Confederacies in vice, or leagues of pleasure; &lt;br/&gt; Ours has severest virtue for its basis, &lt;br/&gt; And such a friendship ends not but with life.
** Act III, scene i

* When love's well-timed 'tis not a fault of love; &lt;br/&gt; The strong, the brave, the virtuous, and the wise, &lt;br/&gt; Sink in the soft captivity together.
** Act III, scene i

* Loveliest of women! heaven is in thy soul, &lt;br/&gt; Beauty and virtue shine forever round thee, &lt;br/&gt; Bright'ning each other! thou art all divine!
** Act III, scene ii

* '''Talk not of love: thou never knew'st its force.'''
** Act III, scene ii

* To my confusion, and eternal grief, &lt;br/&gt; I must approve the sentence that destroys me.
** Act III, scene ii

* See they suffer death, &lt;br/&gt; But in their deaths remember they are men, &lt;br/&gt; '''Strain not the laws to make their tortures grievous.'''
** Act III, scene v

* Why wilt thou add to all the griefs I suffer &lt;br/&gt; Imaginary ills, and fancy'd tortures?
** Act IV, scene i

* When love once pleas admission to our hearts, &lt;br/&gt; (In spite of all the virtue we can boast), &lt;br/&gt; The woman that deliberates is lost.
** Variant: &quot;When love once pleads admission to our hearts...&quot;
** Act IV, scene i. The last line has often been misreported as &quot;He who hesitates is lost&quot;, a sentiment inspired by it but not penned by Addison. See Paul F. Boller, Jr., and John George, ''They Never Said It: A Book of Fake Quotes, Misquotes, &amp; Misleading Attributions'' (1989), p. 3

* I will indulge my sorrows, and give way &lt;br/&gt; To all the pangs and fury of despair.
** Act IV, scene iii

* Curse on his virtues! they've undone his country.
** Act IV, scene iv

* How beautiful is death, when earn'd by virtue! &lt;br/&gt; Who would not be that youth? '''What pity is it &lt;br/&gt; That we can die but once to serve our country!'''
** Act IV, scene iv

* '''Content thyself to be obscurely good. &lt;br/&gt; When vice prevails, and impious men bear sway, &lt;br/&gt; The post of honor is a private station.'''
** Act IV, scene iv

* O ye powers that search &lt;br/&gt; The heart of man, and weigh his inmost thoughts, &lt;br/&gt; If I have done amiss, impute it not! &lt;br/&gt; The best may err, but you are good.
** Act IV, scene iv

* Thanks to the gods! my boy has done his duty.
** Act IV, scene iv

* The honors of this world, what are they &lt;br/&gt; But puff, and emptiness, and peril of falling?
** Act IV, scene iv

* The stars shall fade away, the sun himself &lt;br/&gt; Grow dim with age, and nature sink in years, &lt;br/&gt; But thou shalt flourish in immortal youth, &lt;br/&gt; Unhurt amidst the wars of elements, &lt;br/&gt; The wrecks of matter, and the crush of worlds.
** Act V, scene i

[[File:Halo in cirrostratus 1.jpg|thumb|right|If there's a power above us, &lt;br/&gt; (And that there is all nature cries aloud &lt;br/&gt; Through all her works) he must delight in virtue.]]
* '''If there's a power above us, &lt;br/&gt; (And that there is all nature cries aloud &lt;br/&gt; Through all her works) he must delight in virtue.'''
** Act V, scene i

* It must be so — [[Plato]], thou reasonest well! &lt;br/&gt; Else whence this pleasing hope, this fond desire, &lt;br/&gt; This longing after immortality? &lt;br/&gt; Or whence this secret dread, and inward horror, &lt;br/&gt; O falling into nought? Why shrinks the soul &lt;br/&gt; Back on herself, and startles at destruction? &lt;br/&gt; 'Tis the divinity that stirs within us; &lt;br/&gt; ''' 'Tis heaven itself, that points out an hereafter, &lt;br/&gt; And intimates eternity to man.'''
** Act V, scene i

[[File:Sun-halo-roscoff.jpg|thumb|right|Nature does nothing without purpose or uselessly.]]
* '''Eternity! thou pleasing dreadful thought!''' &lt;br/&gt; Through what variety of untried being, &lt;br/&gt; Through what new scenes and changes must we pass!
** Act V, scene i

* I'm weary of conjectures,—this must end 'em. &lt;br/&gt; Thus am I doubly armed: '''my death and life, &lt;br/&gt; My bane and antidote, are both before me''': &lt;br/&gt; This in a moment brings me to an end; &lt;br/&gt; But this informs me I shall never die. &lt;br/&gt; The soul, secured in her existence, smiles &lt;br/&gt; At the drawn dagger, and defies its point. &lt;br/&gt; The stars shall fade away, the sun himself &lt;br/&gt; Grow dim with age, and Nature sink in years; &lt;br/&gt; But thou shalt flourish in immortal youth, &lt;br/&gt; Unhurt amidst the war of elements, &lt;br/&gt; The wrecks of matter, and the crush of worlds.
** Act V, scene i

* '''Nature does nothing without purpose or uselessly.'''
** Act V, scene i

* The ideal man bears the accidents of life &lt;br/&gt; With dignity and grace, the best of circumstances.
** Act V, scene i

* '''The soul, secured in her existence, smiles &lt;br/&gt; At the drawn dagger, and defies its point.'''
** Act V, scene i

* What means this heaviness that hangs upon me? &lt;br/&gt; This lethargy that creeps through all my senses? &lt;br/&gt; Nature, oppress'd and harrass'd out with care, &lt;br/&gt; Sinks down to rest.
** Act V, scene i

* Sweet are the slumbers of the virtuous man.
** Act V, scene iv

* '''From hence, let fierce contending nations know, &lt;br/&gt; What dire effects from civil discord flow.'''
** Act V, scene iv

=== ''The Guardian'' (1713) ===
[[File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|thumb|right|There in no virtue so truly great and godlike as justice.]]

* '''There is no virtue so truly great and godlike as justice.'''
** No. 99

* To be perfectly just is an attribute in the divine nature; to be so to the utmost of our abilities, is the glory of man.
** No. 99

* '''Justice discards party, friendship, kindred, and is therefore always represented as blind.'''
** No. 99

* '''Knowledge is, indeed, that which, next to virtue, truly and essentially raises one man above another.'''
** No. 111

* When I read the rules of criticism, I immediately inquire after the works of the author who has written them, and by that means discover what it is he likes in a composition.
** No. 115

* Courage that grows from constitution very often forsakes a man when he has occasion for it, and when it is only a kind of instinct in the Soul breaks out on all occasions without judgment or discretion. That courage which proceeds from the sense of our duty, and from the fear of offending Him that made us, acts always in a uniform manner, and according to the dictates of right reason.
** No. 117

* Blessings may appear under the shape of pains, losses and disappointments; but let him have patience, and he will see them in their proper figures.
** No. 117

* '''A good conscience is to the soul what health is to the body'''; '''it preserves a constant ease and serenity within us''', and more than countervails all the calamities and afflictions which can possibly befall us.
** No. 135

* The sense of honour is of so fine and delicate a nature, that it is only to be met with in minds which are naturally noble, or in such as have been cultivated by good examples, or a refined education.
** No. 161

* Charity is a virtue of the heart, and not of the hands.
** No. 166

* '''Gifts and alms are the expressions, not the essence, of this virtue.'''
** No. 166

=== ''[[w:The Spectator (1711)|The Spectator]]'' (1711–1714) ===
[[File:The Spectator 1788.jpg|thumb|right|I live in the world rather as a spectator of mankind than as one of the species.]]
[[File:SépultureCathelineau.JPG|thumb|right|The Fear of Death often proves Mortal, and sets People on Methods to save their Lives, which infallibly destroy them.]]

* '''If I can any way contribute to the diversion or improvement of the country in which I live, I shall leave it, when I am summoned out of it, with the secret satisfaction of thinking that I have not lived in vain.'''
** No. 1 (1 March 1711)

* '''Thus I live in the world rather as a spectator of mankind than as one of the species.'''
** No. 1 (1 March 1711)

* To be exempt from the passions with which others are tormented, is the only pleasing solitude.
** No. 4 (5 March 1711)

* I would... earnestly advise them for their good to order this paper to be punctually served up, and to be looked upon as a part of the tea equipage.
** No. 10 (11 March 1711)

* '''I shall endeavor to enliven morality with wit, and to temper wit with morality.'''
** No. 10 (11 March 1711)

* '''True happiness is of a retired nature, and an enemy to pomp and noise; it arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one's self, and in the next, from the friendship and conversation of a few select companions.'''
** No. 15 (March 17, 1711)

* '''That nothing is capable of being well set to Musick, that is not Nonsense.'''
** No. 18 (March 21, 1711)

* '''The Fear of Death often proves Mortal''', and sets People on Methods to save their Lives, which infallibly destroy them.
** No. 25 (29 March 1711)

* It is indeed very possible, that the Persons we laugh at may in the main of their Characters be much wiser Men than our selves; but if they would have us laugh at them, they must fall short of us in those Respects which stir up this Passion.
** No. 47 (24 April 1711)

* In all thy humours, whether grave or mellow, &lt;br/&gt; Thou 'rt such a touchy, testy, pleasant fellow, &lt;br/&gt; Hast so much wit and mirth and spleen about thee, &lt;br/&gt; There is no living with thee, nor without thee.
** No. 68 (18 May 1911)

* '''There is not a more unhappy being than a superannuated idol.'''
** No. 73 (24 May 1711)

* A man that has a taste of music, painting, or architecture, is like one that has another sense, when compared with such as have no relish of those arts.
** No. 93 (16 June 1711)

* '''Of all the diversions of life, there is none so proper to fill up its empty spaces as the reading of useful and entertaining authors.'''
** No. 94 (18 June 1711)

* There is not so variable a thing in Nature as a lady's head-dress.
** No. 98 (22 June 1711)

* &quot;Censure,&quot; says [[Jonathan Swift|a late ingenious author]], &quot;is the tax a man plays for being eminent.&quot; It is a folly for an eminent man to think of escaping it, and a weakness to be affected with it. '''All the illustrious persons of antiquity, and indeed of every age in the world, have passed through this fiery persecution. There is no defense against reproach but obscurity'''; it is a kind of comitant to greatness, as satires and invectives were an essential part of a Roman triumph.
** No. 101 (26 June 1711)

* '''If men of eminence are exposed to censure on one hand, they are as much liable to flattery on the other. If they receive reproaches which are not due to them, they likewise receive praises which they do not deserve.''' In a word, the man in a high post is never regarded with an indifferent eye, but always considered as a friend or an enemy. For this reason persons in great stations have seldom their true characters drawn till several years after their deaths. Their personal friendships and enmities must cease, and the parties they were engaged in be at an end, before their faults or their virtues can have justice done them. When writers have the least opportunity of knowing the truth, they are in the best disposition to tell it. &lt;br/&gt; It is therefore the privilege of posterity to adjust the characters of illustrious persons, and to set matters right between those antagonists who by their rivalry for greatness divided a whole age into factions.
** No. 101 (26 June 1711), this has sometimes been quoted as &quot;It is the privilege of posterity to set matters right between those antagonists who, by their rivalry for greatness, divided a whole age&quot;.

[[File:A Commonwealth Cross of Sacrifice or War Cross.jpg|thumb|right|Much might be said on both sides.]]
* [[Sunday]] clears away the rust of the whole week.
** No. 112 (9 July 1711)

* Exercise ferments the humors, casts them into their proper channels, throws off redundancies, and helps nature in those secret distributions, without which the body cannot subsist in its vigor, nor the soul act with cheerfulness.
** No. 115 (12 July 1711)

* When I consider the Question, Whether there are such Persons in the World as those we call Witches? my Mind is divided between the two opposite Opinions; or rather (to speak my Thoughts freely) I believe in general that there is, and has been such a thing as Witchcraft; but at the same time can give no Credit to any Particular Instance of it.
** No. 117 (14 July 1711)

* Animals in their generation are wiser than the sons of men; but their wisdom is confined to a few particulars, and lies in a very narrow compass.
** No. 120 (18 July 1711)

* The most violent appetites in all creatures are lust and hunger: the first is a perpetual call upon them to propogate their kind; the latter to preserve themselves.
** No. 120 (18 July 1711)

* '''Much might be said on both sides.'''
** No. 122 (20 July 1711)

* '''A man's first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart; his next to escape the censures of the world''': if the last interferes with the former, it ought to be entirely neglected; but otherwise there cannot be a greater satisfaction to an honest mind, than to see those approbations which it gives itself seconded by the applauses of the public: a man is more sure of his conduct, when the verdict which he passes upon his own behaviour is thus warranted and confirmed by the opinion of all that know him.
** On &quot;[[w:Roger de Coverley|Sir Roger]]&quot;, in No. 122 (20 July 1711)

* Authors have established it as a kind of rule, that a man ought to be dull sometimes; as the most severe reader makes allowances for many rests and nodding places in a voluminous writer.
** No. 124 (23 July 1711)

* A cloudy day or a little sunshine have as great an influence on many constitutions as the most real blessings or misfortunes.
** No. 162 (5 September 1711)

* Mutability of temper and inconsistency with ourselves is the greatest weakness of human nature.
** No. 162 (5 September 1711)

* The circumstance which gives authors an advantage above all these great masters, is this, that they can multiply their originals; or rather, can make copies of their works, to what number they please, which shall be as valuable as the originals themselves.
** No. 166 (10 September 1711)

* '''Books are the legacies that a great genius leaves to mankind''', which are delivered down from generation to generation, as presents to the posterity of those who are yet unborn.
** No. 166 (10 September 1711)

* Man is subject to innumerable pains and sorrows by the very condition of humanity, and yet, as if nature had not sown evils enough in life, we are continually adding grief to grief, and aggravating the common calamity by our cruel treatment of one another.
** No. 169 (13 September 1711)

* '''Good nature is more agreeable in conversation than wit, and gives a certain air to the countenance which is more amiable than beauty.'''
** No. 169 (13 September 1711)

* I have somewhere met with the epitaph of a charitable man, which has very much pleased me. I cannot recollect the words, but the sense of it is to this purpose; '''''What I spent I lost; what I possessed is left to others; what I gave away remains with me.'''''
** No. 177 (22 September 1711)

* I would fain ask one of these bigotted Infidels, supposing all the great Points of Atheism … were laid together and formed into a kind of Creed, according to the Opinions of the most celebrated Atheists; I say, supposing such a Creed as this were formed, and imposed upon any one People in the World, whether it would not require an infinitely greater Measure of Faith, than any Set of Articles which they so violently oppose.
** [http://archive.twoaspirinsandacomedy.com/spectator/spectator.php?line=185 No. 185] (2 October 1711).
** Often misquoted as &quot;To be an atheist requires an infinitely greater measure of faith than to receive all the great truths which atheism would deny.&quot;

* The man who will live above his present circumstances is in great danger of living in a little time much beneath them; or as the Italian proverb runs, &quot;The man who lives by hope, will die by hunger.&quot;
** No. 191 (9 October 1711)

* Were I to prescribe a rule for drinking, it should be formed upon a saying quoted by Sir [[William Temple]]: the first glass for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the fourth for mine enemies.
** No. 195 (13 October 1711)

[[File:Reconciliation by Vasconcellos, Coventry.jpg|thumb|right|A man must be excessively stupid, as well as uncharitable, who believes that there is no virtue but on his own side, and that there are not men as honest as himself who may differ from him in political principles.]]
* I consider an human soul without education like marble in the quarry, which shews none of its inherent beauties till the skill of the polisher fetches out the colours, makes the surface shine, and discovers every ornamental cloud, spot and vein that runs through the body of it.
** No. 215 (6 November 1711)

* What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to the human soul.
** No. 215 (6 November 1711)

* Discretion is a perfection of reason, and a guide to us in all the duties of life.
** No. 225 (17 November 1711)

* A just and reasonable modesty does not only recommend eloquence, but sets off every great talent which a man can be possessed of.
** No. 231 (24 November 1711)

* Mere bashfulness without merit is awkward; and merit without modesty, insolent. But modest merit has a double claim to acceptance, and generally meets with as many patrons as beholders.
** No. 231 (24 November 1711)

* Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue.
** No. 231 (24 November 1711)

* '''A man must be excessively stupid, as well as uncharitable, who believes that there is no virtue but on his own side, and that there are not men as honest as himself who may differ from him in political principles.'''
** No. 243 (8 December 1711)

[[File:Thanksgiving chapel interior.jpg|thumb|right|Some virtues are only seen in affliction and some in prosperity.]]
* '''What an absurd thing it is to pass over all the valuable parts of a man, and fix our attention on his infirmities.'''
** No. 249 (15 December 1711)

* Were not this desire of fame very strong, the difficulty of obtaining it, and the danger of losing it when obtained, would be sufficient to deter a man from so vain a pursuit.
** No. 255 (22 December 1711)

* Admiration is a very short-lived passion that immediately decays upon growing familiar with its object, unless it be still fed with fresh discoveries, and kept alive by a new perpetual succession of miracles rising up to its view.
** No. 256 (24 December 1711)
** Often only the first half of this statement is quoted

* Ambition raises a secret tumult in the soul, it inflames the mind, and puts it into a violent hurry of thought.
** No. 256 (24 December 1711)

* '''Some virtues are only seen in affliction and some in prosperity.'''
** No. 257 (25 December 1711)

* I have often thought, says Sir Roger, it happens very well that Christmas should fall out in the Middle of the Winter
** No. 269 (8 January 1712)

[[File:Double-alaskan-rainbow.jpg|thumb|right|Health and cheerfulness mutually beget each other.]]
* '''A true critic ought to dwell rather upon excellencies than imperfections, to discover the concealed beauties of a writer, and communicate to the world such things as are worth their observation.'''
** No. 291 (2 February 1712)

* These widows, sir, are the most perverse creatures in the world.
** No. 335 (25 March 1712)

* '''Death only closes a Man's Reputation, and determines it as good or bad.'''
** No. 349 (10 April 1712); famously seen on the brothel wall in the film ''[[w:Easy Rider|Easy Rider]]''.

* Mirth is like a flash of lightning, that breaks through a gloom of clouds, and glitters for a moment; cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind, and fills it with a steady and perpetual serenity.
** No. 381 (17 May 1712)

* Sir Roger made several reflections on the greatness of the British Nation; as, that one Englishman could beat three Frenchmen; that we could never be in danger of Popery so long as we took care of our fleet; that the Thames was the noblest river in Europe...with many other honest prejudices which naturally cleave to the heart of a true Englishman.
** No. 383 (20 May 1712)

* '''Cheerfulness is...the best promoter of health.'''
** No. 387 (24 May 1712)

* '''Health and cheerfulness mutually beget each other.'''
** No. 387 (24 May 1712)

[[File:CL0024+17.jpg|thumb|right|The spacious firmament on high, &lt;br/&gt; With all the blue ethereal sky, &lt;br/&gt; And spangled heavens, a shining frame, &lt;br/&gt; Their great Original proclaim.]]
* Everything that is new or uncommon raises a pleasure in the imagination, because it fills the soul with an agreeable surprise, gratifies its curiosity, and gives it an idea of which it was not before possessed.
** No. 412 (23 June 1712)

* The Lord my pasture shall prepare, &lt;br/&gt; And feed me with a shepherd's care; &lt;br/&gt; His presence shall my wants supply, &lt;br/&gt; And guard me with a watchful eye.
** No. 444 (26 July 1712)

* Our delight in any particular study, art, or science rises and improves in proportion to the application which we bestow upon it. Thus, what was at first an exercise becomes at length an entertainment.
** No. 447 (2 August 1712)

* When all thy mercies, O my God, &lt;br/&gt; My rising soul surveys, &lt;br/&gt; '''Transported with the view, I'm lost &lt;br/&gt; In wonder, love and praise.'''
** No. 453 (9 August 1712)

* '''The spacious firmament on high, &lt;br/&gt; With all the blue ethereal sky, &lt;br/&gt; And spangled heavens, a shining frame, &lt;br/&gt; Their great Original proclaim.'''
** No. 465, ''Ode'' (23 August 1712).
** Also in ''The Polite Arts'' (1749), Chap. XXI. &quot;Of Lyrick Poetry.&quot; 

* Soon as the evening shades prevail, &lt;br/&gt; The moon takes up the wondrous tale, &lt;br/&gt; And nightly to the listening earth &lt;br/&gt; Repeats the story of her birth; &lt;br/&gt; While all the stars that round her burn, &lt;br/&gt; And all the planets in their turn, &lt;br/&gt; Confirm the tidings as they roll, &lt;br/&gt; And spread the truth from pole to pole.
** No. 465, ''Ode'' (23 August 1712)

* What though no real voice nor sound &lt;br/&gt; Amid their radiant orbs be found ; &lt;br/&gt; In reason's ear they all rejoice, &lt;br/&gt; And utter forth a glorious voice, &lt;br/&gt; Forever singing as they shine, &lt;br/&gt; &quot;The Hand that made us divine.&quot;
** No. 465, ''Ode'' (23 August 1712)

* A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
** No. 475 (4 September 1712)

* Method is not less requisite in ordinary conversation than in writing, provided a man would talk to make himself understood.
** No. 476 (5 September 1712)

* Our disputants put me in mind of the skuttle fish, that when he is unable to extricate himself, blackens all the water about him, till he becomes invisible.
** No. 476 (5 September 1712)

* Irregularity and want of method are only supportable in men of great learning or genius, who are often too full to be exact, and therefore choose to throw down their pearls in heaps before the reader, rather than be at the pains of stringing them.
** No. 476 (5 September 1712)

[[File:Georges Seurat 019.jpg|thumb|right|Man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter.]]
* '''I value my garden more for being full of blackbirds than cherries, and very frankly give them fruit for their songs.'''
** No. 477 (6 September 1712)

* The fraternity of the henpecked.
** No. 482 (12 September 1712)

* '''If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter.'''
** No. 494 (26 September 1712)

* There is nothing which we receive with so much reluctance as advice.
** No. 512 (17 October 1712)

* '''If we hope for what we are not likely to possess, we act and think in vain, and make life a greater dream and shadow than it really is.'''
** No. 535 (13 November 1712)

* An ostentatious man will rather relate a blunder or an absurdity he has committed, than be debarred from talking of his own dear person.
** No. 562 (2 July 1714)

* '''A man should always consider how much he has more than he wants.'''
** No. 574 (30 July 1714)

* '''Upon the whole, a contented mind is the greatest blessing a man can enjoy in this world.'''
** No. 574 (30 July 1714)

* We are always doing something for Posterity, but I would fain see Posterity do something for us.
** No. 587 (20 August 1714)

=== ''The Tatler'' (1711–1714) ===
* Men may change their climate, but they cannot change their nature. A man that goes out a fool cannot ride or sail himself into common sense.
** No. 93

* Silence never shows itself to so great an advantage, as when it is made the reply to calumny and defamation, provided that we give no just occasion for them.
** No. 133

* A misery is not to be measured from the nature of the evil, but from the temper of the sufferer.
** No. 146

* '''Reading is to the mind, what exercise is to the body.''' As by the one, health is preserved, strengthened, and invigorated: by the other, virtue (which is the health of the mind) is kept alive, cherished, and confirmed.
** No. 147

* '''A cheerful temper joined with innocence will make beauty attractive, knowledge delightful and wit good-natured.'''
** No. 192

* Advertisements are of great use to the vulgar. First of all, as they are instruments of ambition. A man that is by no means big enough for the Gazette, may easily creep into the advertisements; by which means we often see an apothecary in the same paper of news with a plenipotentiary, or a running footman with an ambassador.
** No. 224

[[File:Caspar David Friedrich - Wanderer above the sea of fog.jpg|thumb|right|Discretion has large and extended views, and, like a well-formed eye, commands a whole horizon: cunning is a kind of short-sightedness, that discovers the minutest objects which are near at hand, but is not able to discern things at a distance.]]
* '''The great art in writing advertisements is the finding out a proper method to catch the reader's eye; without which a good thing may pass over unobserved, or be lost among commissions of bankrupt.'''
** No. 224

[[File:Brocken Spectre at Peak Korzhenevskaya.jpg|thumb|right|There are many more shining qualities in the mind of man, but there is none so useful as discretion...]]
* I Have often thought if the minds of men were laid open, we should see but little difference between that of the wise man and that of the fool. There are infinite reveries, numberless extravagances, and a perpetual train of vanities which pass through both. The great difference is, that the first knows how to pick and cull his thoughts for conversation, by suppressing some, and communicating others; whereas the other lets them all indifferently fly out in words.
** No. 225

* '''There are many more shining qualities in the mind of man, but there is none so useful as discretion'''; it is this, indeed, which gives a value to all the rest, which sets them at work in their proper times and places, and turns them to the advantage of the person who is possessed of them. Without it, learning is pedantry, and wit impertinence; virtue itself looks like weakness; the best parts only qualify a man to be more sprightly in errors, and active to his own prejudice.
** No. 225

* '''The discreet man finds out the talents of those he converses with, and knows how to apply them to proper uses.''' Accordingly, if we look into particular communities and divisions of men, we may observe that it is the discreet man, not the witty, nor the learned, nor the brave, who guides the conversation, and gives measures to the society.
** No. 225

* '''Though a man has all other perfections, and wants discretion, he will be of no great consequence in the world'''; but if he has this single talent in perfection, and but a common share of others, he may do what he pleases in his station of life.
** No. 225

[[File:Hoag's object.jpg|thumb|right|The cast of mind which is natural to a discreet man, make him look forward into futurity, and consider what will be his condition millions of ages hence, as well as what it is at present.]]
* '''At the same time that I think discretion the most useful talent a man can be master of, I look upon cunning to be the accomplishment of little, mean, ungenerous minds.''' Discretion points out the noblest ends to us, and pursues the most proper and laudable methods of attaining them: cunning has only private selfish aims, and sticks at nothing which may make them succeed. '''Discretion has large and extended views, and, like a well-formed eye, commands a whole horizon: cunning is a kind of short-sightedness, that discovers the minutest objects which are near at hand, but is not able to discern things at a distance. Discretion the more it is discovered, gives a greater authority to the person who possesses it: cunning, when it is once detected, loses its force, and makes a man incapable of bringing about even those events which he might have done had he passed only for a plain man.''' Discretion is the perfection of reason, and a guide to us in all the duties of life: cunning is a kind of instinct, that only looks out after our immediate interest and welfare. Discretion is only found in men of strong sense and good understandings, cunning is often to be met with in brutes themselves, and in persons who are but the fewest removes from them.
** No. 225

* '''Cunning is only the mimic of discretion, and may pass upon weak men in the same manner as vivacity is often mistaken for wit, and gravity for wisdom.'''
** No. 225

* '''The cast of mind which is natural to a discreet man, make him look forward into futurity, and consider what will be his condition millions of ages hence, as well as what it is at present.''' He knows that the misery or happiness which are reserved for him in another world, lose nothing of their reality by being placed at so great a distance from him. The objects do not appear little to him because they are remote. He considers that those pleasures and pains which lie hid in eternity, approach nearer to him every moment, and will be present with him in their full weight and measure, as much as those pains and pleasures which he feels at this very instant. For this reason he is careful to secure to himself that which is the proper happiness of his nature, and the ultimate design of his being. He carries his thoughts to the end of every action, and considers the most distant as well as the most immediate effects of it. He supersedes every little prospect of gain and advantage which offers itself here, if he does not find it consistent with his views of an hereafter. '''In a word, his hopes are full of immortality, his schemes are large and glorious, and his conduct suitable to one who knows his true interest, and how to pursue it by proper methods.'''
** No. 225

=== ''The Freeholder'' (1715–1716) ===
* Arguments out of a pretty mouth are unanswerable.
** No. 4 (2 January 1716)

* '''There is no greater sign of a general decay of virtue in a nation, than a want of zeal in its inhabitants for the good of their country.'''
** No. 5 (6 January 1716)

* Though there is a benevolence due to all mankind, none can question but a superior degree of it is to be paid to a father, a wife, or a child. In the same manner, though our love should reach to the whole species, a greater proportion of it should exert itself towards that community in which Providence has placed us. This is our proper sphere of action, the province allotted us for the exercise of our civil virtues, and in which alone we have opportunities of expressing our good-will to mankind.
** No. 5 (6 January 1716)

* Prejudice and self-sufficiency naturally proceed from inexperience of the world, and ignorance of mankind.
** No. 30 (2 April 1716)

* '''When men are easy in their circumstances, they are naturally enemies to innovations.'''
** No. 42 (16 May 1716)

=== ''The Drummer'' (1716) ===
[[File:Carl Spitzweg - Aschermittwoch.jpg|thumb|right|We are growing serious, and, &lt;br/&gt; Let me tell you, that's the very next step to being dull.]]

* Round-heads and Wooden-shoes are standing jokes.
** prologue, l. 8

* '''We are growing serious, and, &lt;br/&gt; Let me tell you, that's the very next step to being dull.'''
** Act IV, sc. vi

* Antidotes are what you take to prevent dotes.
** Act IV, sc. vi

* There is nothing more requisite in business than dispatch.
** Act V, sc. 1

{{disputed begin}}

== Disputed ==
* If you wish success in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother and hope your guardian genius.
** The earliest appearance of this proverb yet located is in ''Eliza Cook's Journal'' Vol. 11, (1854), p. 128, and the earliest attribution to Addison yet found is in Henry Southgate, ed., ''[https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_New_Era/XD8DAAAAYAAJ?hl=en&amp;gbpv=1&amp;dq=addison%20%22hope%20your%20guardian%20genius%22&amp;pg=PA1&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;bsq=addison%20%22hope%20your%20guardian%20genius%22 Many Thoughts of Many Minds]'' (1862), p. 600.

* What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.
** This appears as an anonymous proverb in ''Frank Leslie's Sunday Magazine'' Vol. XIII, (January - June 1883) edited by T. De Witt Talmage, and apparently only in recent years has it become attributed to Addison.

* If men would consider not so much where they differ, as wherein they agree, there would be far less of uncharitableness and angry feeling in the world.
** Attributed to &quot;Addison&quot; in ''A Dictionary of Thoughts : Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, both Ancient and Modern'' (1908) edited by [[Tryon Edwards]], p. 117, but this might be the later &quot;Mr. Addison&quot; who was credited with publishing ''Interesting Anecdotes, Memoirs, Allegories, Essays, and Poetical Fragments'' (1794).

* Tradition is an important help to history, but its statements should be carefully scrutinized before we rely on them.
** Attributed to &quot;Addison&quot; in ''A Dictionary of Thoughts : Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, both Ancient and Modern'' (1908) edited by [[Tryon Edwards]], p. 580, but this might be the later &quot;Mr. Addison&quot; who was credited with publishing ''Interesting Anecdotes, Memoirs, Allegories, Essays, and Poetical Fragments'' (1794).

* The greatest sweetener of human life is Friendship. To raise this to the highest pitch of enjoyment, is a secret which but few discover.
** As quoted in ''Hugs for Girlfriends : Stories, Sayings, and Scriptures to Encourage and Inspire'' (2001) by Philis Boultinghouse and LeAnn Weiss, p. 7; there seem to be no published sources available for this statement prior to 2001.

{{disputed end}}
{{Misattributed begin}}

== Misattributed ==
:&lt;small&gt;Alphabetized by author&lt;/small&gt;

* A little nonsense now and then &lt;br/&gt; Is relished by the wisest men.
** This appears to be an anonymous proverb of unknown authorship, only occasionally attributed to Addison.

* With regard to donations always expect the most from prudent people, who keep their own accounts.
** This is attributed to Addison in ''The Columbia Dictionary of Quotations'' (1993) with a citation of &quot;Economy and Benevolence&quot; in ''Interesting Anecdotes, Memoirs, Allegories, Essays, and Poetical Fragments'' (1794) but that was a publication of a contemporary &quot;Mr. Addison&quot; in several volumes, and not the poet. Vol. III of that publication (in 1796), on page 205, does contain these lines, but as part of an anonymous ancecdote.

* Reading is a basic tool in the living of a good life.
** The earliest attributions of this remark to anyone are in 1941, to [[Mortimer Adler]], in ''How To Read A Book'' (1940), although this actually a paraphrased shortening of a statement in his preface: Reading — as explained (and defended) in this book — is a basic tool in the living of a good life.

* When you are at Rome, live as Romans live.
** St. [[w:Ambrose|Ambrose]], ''Si fueris Romæ, Romano vivito more'' as translated in ''Latin Proverbs and Quotations'' (1869) by Alfred Henderson; very commonly paraphrased as &quot;When in Rome do as the Romans do&quot;.

* To say that authority, whether secular or religious, supplies no ground for morality is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction.
** Sir [[Alfred Jules Ayer]], in his &quot;The Meaning of Life&quot;, collected in ''The Meaning of Life, and Other Essays'' (1990)

* There is not any present moment that is unconnected with some future one. The life of every man is a continued chain of incidents, each link of which hangs upon the former. The transition from cause to effect, from event to event, is often carried on by secret steps, which our foresight cannot divine, and our sagacity is unable to trace. Evil may at some future period bring forth good; and good may bring forth evil, both equally unexpected.
** Very often attributed to Addison, this is in fact by [[w:Hugh Blair|Hugh Blair]], published in Blair's ''Sermons'' (1815), Vol. 1, pp. 196-197.

* To a man of pleasure every moment appears to be lost, which partakes not of the vivacity of amusement.
** Very often attributed to Addison, this is apparently a paraphrase of a statement by [[w:Hugh Blair|Hugh Blair]], published in Blair's ''Sermons'' (1815), Vol. 1, p. 219, where he mentions &quot;men of pleasure and the men of business&quot;, and that &quot;To the former every moment appears to be lost, which partakes not of the vivacity of amusement&quot;.

* The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for.
** Widely quoted as an Addison maxim this is actually by the American clergyman George Washington Burnap (1802-1859), published in Burnap's ''The Sphere and Duties of Woman : A Course of Lectures'' (1848), Lecture IV.

* Justice is an unassailable fortress, built on the brow of a mountain which cannot be overthrown by the violence of torrents, nor demolished by the force of armies.
** [[w:Moncure D. Conway|Moncure Daniel Conway]], in ''The Sacred Anthology (Oriental) : A Book of Ethnical Scriptures'' 5th edition (1877), p. 386; this statement appears beneath an Arabian proverb, and [[Upton Sinclair]] later attributed it to the ''[[Qur'an]]'', in ''The Cry for Justice : An Anthology of the Literature of Social Protest'' (1915), p. 475.

* It is only imperfection that complains of what is imperfect. The more perfect we are the more gentle and quiet we become towards the defects of others.
** [[François Fénelon]], in [http://books.google.com/books?id=qJ4rAAAAYAAJ ''Selections from the Writings of Fenelon: With an appendix, containing a Memoir of his Life'' (1829) as translated by A Lady (Eliza Lee Cabot Follen)], Letter 37, p. 189.

* He that would pass the latter part of life with honour and decency, must, when he is young, consider that he shall one day be old; and remember, when he is old, that he has once been young.
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'', no. 50 (8 September 1750); many of Johnson's remarks have been attributed to Addison

* No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority.
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'', no. 148 (17 August 1751)

* That he delights in the misery of others no man will confess, and yet what other motive can make a father cruel?
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'', no. 148 (17 August 1751)

* The unjustifiable severity of a parent is loaded with this aggravation, that those whom he injures are always in his sight.
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'' no. 148 (17 August 1751)

* Education...is a companion which no misfortunes can depress, no clime destroy, no enemy alienate, no despotism enslave: at home a friend, abroad an introduction, in solitude a solace, in society an ornament: it chastens vice, it guides virtue, it gives at once a grace and government to genius. Without it, what is man? A splendid slave, a reasoning savage.
** Though sometimes attributed to Addison, this actually comes from a speech delivered by the Irish lawyer Charles Phillips in 1817, in the case of O'Mullan v. M'Korkill, published in ''Irish Eloquence: The Speeches of the Celebrated Irish Orators'' (1834) pp. 91-92.

* They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.
** Attributed to Addison in ''(K)new Words: Redefine Your Communication'' (2005), by Gloria Pierre, p. 120, there are no indications of such a statement in Addison's writings.

* Plenty of people wish to become devout, but no one wishes to be humble.
** A translation of one of [[François de La Rochefoucauld|La Rochefoucauld]]'s maxims, published posthumously in 1693. In the original: &quot;''Force gens veulent être dévots, mais personne ne veut être humble.''&quot;

* The beloved of the Almighty are: the rich who have the humility of the poor, and the poor who have the magnanimity of the rich.
** [[Saadi]] as translated in ''The Gulistān : Or, Rose-garden, of Shek̲h̲ Muslihu'd-dīn Sādī of Shīrāz'' as translated by Edward Backhouse Eastwick (1880), p. 203

* Jesters do often prove prophets.
** Not found in Addison's works, and &quot;Jesters do oft prove prophets&quot; is actually [[William Shakespeare]], in [[King Lear|''King Lear'']], Act V, sc. iii

* The utmost extent of man's knowledge, is to know that he knows nothing.
** These words, sometimes attributed to Addison, are not found in his works, but in ''The Spectator'', no. 54, he translates the following words of [[Socrates]], as quoted in [[Plato]]'s ''Apology'': &quot;When I left him, I reasoned thus with myself: I am wiser than this man, for neither of us appears to know anything great and good; but '''he fancies he knows something, although he knows nothing; whereas I, as I do not know anything, so I do not fancy I do. In this trifling particular, then, I appear to be wiser than he, because I do not fancy I know what I do not know.'''&quot;

* The chief ingredients in the composition of those qualities that gain esteem and praise, are good nature, truth, good sense, and good breeding.
** [[William Temple]], in &quot;Heads Designed for an Essay on Conversation&quot; in ''The Works of Sir William Temple, Bart. in Four Volumes'' (1757), Vol. III, p. 547

* The union of the Word and the Mind produces that mystery which is called Life... Learn deeply of the Mind and its mystery, for therein lies the secret of immortality.
** &quot;[http://magdelene.net/Thoth%20Hermes%20Trismegistus.htm The Life and Teachings of Thoth Hermes Trismegistus]&quot;, in ''The Secret Teachings of All Ages'' (1928) by the Canadian occultist [[w:Manly Hall|Manly Hall]]; a few quotation websites credit this to Addison.
{{Misattributed end}}

== Quotes about Addison ==
* In our way to the Club to-night, when I regretted that [[Oliver Goldsmith|Goldsmith]] would, upon every occasion, endeavour to shine, by which he often exposed himself; Mr. Langton observed, that he was not like Addison, who was content with the fame of his writings, and did not aim also at excellency in conversation, for which he found himself unfit; and that he said to a lady, who complained of his having talked little in company, &quot;Madam, I have but nine-pence in ready money, but I can draw for a thousand pounds&quot;.
** [[James Boswell]], in ''The Life of Samuel Johnson'' (1791), mentioning a contrast made of Addison's character and that of Oliver Goldsmith, in his accounts of 7 May 1773

* The last place in London to which I will ask the reader to accompany me with Addison is one which has changed but little since his time, and has been of late very much in all our thoughts—I mean Westminster Abbey. He tells us that in his serious and pensive moods he very often walked there by himself, where the gloominess of the place, with the solemnity of the building, and the condition of the people who lie in it, filled his mind with a melancholy, or rather a thoughtfulness, that was not unpleasing.
** {{cite journal|author=James G. Frazer|authorlink=James George Frazer|title=London Life in the Time of Addison|date=January 1922|journal=The Quarterly Review|pages=18–32|url=https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=hvd.32044092529320;view=1up;seq=44}} quote p. 32

* In the formal treatises Addison has three subjects: religion, classical literature, and Whig politics. His greatest delight in literature was the study of Latin poetry; and he was himself a most skilful writer of Latin verse—he is indeed more a poet in Latin than in English.
** A. C. Guthkelch {{cite journal|title=The Prose Works of Joseph Addison|volume=225|pages=238–250|journal=[[w:Quarterly Review|The Quarterly Review]]|url=https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=chi.78280796;view=1up;seq=258}} January 1916, quote p. 242

* '''Whoever wishes to attain an English style, familiar, but not coarse, and elegant, but not ostentatious, must give his days and nights to the volumes of Addison.'''
** [[Samuel Johnson]], ''Lives of the Most Eminent English Poets'' (1779-81), &quot;Addison&quot;

* As a man, he may not have deserved the adoration which he received from those who, bewitched by his fascinating society, and indebted for all the comforts of life to his generous and delicate friendship, worshipped him nightly, in his favourite temple at Button’s. But, after full inquiry and impartial reflection, we have long been convinced that he deserved as much love and esteem as can be justly claimed by any of our infirm and erring race. Some blemishes may undoubtedly be detected in his character; but the more carefully it is examined, the more it will appear, to use the phrase of the old anatomists, sound in the noble parts, free from all taint of perfidy, of cowardice, of cruelty, of ingratitude, of envy. Men may easily be named, in whom some particular good disposition has been more conspicuous than in Addison. But the just harmony of qualities, the exact temper between the stern and the humane virtues, the habitual observance of every law, not only of moral rectitude, but of moral grace and dignity, distinguish him from all men who have been tried by equally strong temptations, and about whose conduct we possess equally full information.
** [[Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1st Baron Macaulay|Thomas Macaulay]] in &quot;Essay on the Life and Writings of Addison&quot;, in ''Essays'' Vol. V (1866) &lt;!-- Hurd and Houghton --&gt;

* Just men, by whom impartial laws were given; &lt;br/&gt; And saints who taught and led the way to heaven. &lt;br/&gt; Ne'er to these chambers, where the mighty rest, &lt;br/&gt; Since their foundation came a nobler guest;&lt;br /&gt;Nor e’er was to the bowers of bliss conveyed &lt;br/&gt; A fairer spirit or more welcome shade.
**[[Thomas Tickell]], ''On the Death of Mr. Addison'' (1721)

* '''If in the stage I seek to soothe my care, &lt;br/&gt; I meet his soul which breathes in [[w:Joseph_Addison#Cato|Cato]] there'''; &lt;br/&gt; If pensive to the rural shades I rove, &lt;br/&gt; His shape o'ertakes me in the lonely grove; &lt;br/&gt; 'Twas there of just and good he reasoned strong, &lt;br/&gt; Cleared some great truth, or raised some serious song: &lt;br/&gt; There patient showed us the wise course to steer, &lt;br/&gt; A candid censor, and a friend severe; &lt;br/&gt; '''There taught us how to live; and (oh, too high &lt;br/&gt; The price for knowledge!) taught us how to die.'''
**[[Thomas Tickell]], ''On the Death of Mr. Addison'' (1721)

*The prose of Whig and Tory polemics contained a larger proportion of stuff destined to endure: Swift and Addison,as journalists spoke to the their day but have been overheard by the ages.
**[[G. M. Trevelyan]].&quot;England Under Queen Anne, Blenheim&quot;, Fontana Library,1965, Page 100

*The first ''English'' Writer who compos'd a regular Tragedy and infus'd a Spirit of Elegance thro' every Part of it, was the illustrious Mr. ''Addison''. His C&lt;small&gt;ATO&lt;/small&gt; is a Master-piece both with regard to the Diction, and to the Beauty and Harmony of the Numbers. The Character of ''Cato'' is, in my Opinion, vastly superiour to that of ''Cornelia'' in the P&lt;small&gt;OMPEY&lt;/small&gt; of ''Corneille'': For ''Cato'' is great without any Thing like Fustian, and ''Cornelia'', who besides is not a necessary Character, tends sometimes to bombast. Mr. ''Addison'''s ''Cato'' appears to me the greatest Character that was ever brought upon any Stage, but then the rest of them don't correspond to the Dignity of it: And this dramatic Piece so excellently well writ, is disfigur'd by a dull Love Plot, which spreads a certain Languor over the whole, that quite murders it.
**[[Voltaire]], ''Letters Concerning the English Nation'' (1733), pp. 178-179

* He dismissed his physicians, and with them all hopes of life. But with his hopes of life he dismissed not his concern for the living, but sent for a youth nearly related and finely accomplished, but not above being the better for good impressions from a dying friend. He came; but, life now glimmering in the socket, the dying friend was silent. After a decent and proper pause, the youth said, &quot;Dear sir, you sent for me: I believe and I hope that you have some commands; I shall hold them most sacred.&quot; May distant ages not only hear, but feel, the reply! Forcibly grasping the youth's hand, he softly said, &quot;See in what peace a Christian can die!&quot; He spoke with difficulty and soon expired. Through grace Divine, how great is man!
** [[Edward Young]] in [http://books.google.com/books?id=foM1AAAAMAAJ ''Conjectures on Original Composition'' (1759)]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Wikisource author}}
* [http://www.accd.edu/sac/english/bailey/addison.htm Joseph Addison page at San Antonio College]
* [http://eir.library.utoronto.ca/rpo/display/poet2.html Selected poetry at the University of Toronto]
* [http://eee.uci.edu/~papyri/Addison/ Prose and poetry of Addison] (Latin only)
* [http://www.constitution.org/addison/cato_play.htm The play ''Cato'' online] This play was one of [[George Washington]]'s favorites.

{{DEFAULTSORT:Addison, Joseph}}
[[Category:Academics from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:Politicians from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:English playwrights]]
[[Category:English essayists]]
[[Category:English poets]]
[[Category:Publishers]]
[[Category:Editors from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:Anglicans from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:1672 births]]
[[Category:1719 deaths]]
[[Category:Whig (British political party) politicians]]</text>
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      <text bytes="67216" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Joseph Addison by Sir Godfrey Kneller, Bt cleaned.jpg|thumb|right|I shall endeavor to enliven morality with wit, and to temper wit with morality.]]
[[File:Tenniel Saint Cecilia.jpg|thumb|right|Music, the greatest good that mortals know,&lt;br/&gt;And all of heaven we have below.]]
'''[[w:Joseph Addison|Joseph Addison]]''' ([[May 1]] [[1672]] – [[June 17]] [[1719]]) was an English politician and writer. His name is often remembered in tandem with that of his friend, [[Richard Steele]], with whom he founded ''[[w:The Spectator (1711)|The Spectator]]'' magazine.

== Quotes ==
[[File:Nicolas Poussin - Sainte Cécile.jpg|thumb|right|Music religious heat inspires, &lt;br/&gt;It wakes the soul, and lifts it high]]
[[File:Paradiso Canto 31.jpg|thumb|right|Keep up the loud harmonious song, &lt;br/&gt; And imitate the blest above, &lt;br/&gt; In joy, and harmony, and love.]]
[[File:Waterhouse,_John_William_-_Saint_Cecilia_-_1895.jpg|thumb|right|Let echo, too, perform her part, &lt;br/&gt;Prolonging every note with art]]
[[File:Albi - Sainte-Cécile - martyre de Sainte Cécile.jpg|thumb|right|A thousand trills and quivering sounds &lt;br/&gt;In airy circles o'er us fly, &lt;br/&gt;Till, wafted by a gentle breeze, &lt;br/&gt;They faint and languish by degrees, &lt;br/&gt;And at a distance die.]]
[[File:Egg Nebula.jpg|thumb|right|Where have my ravish'd senses been! &lt;br/&gt; What joys, what wonders, have I seen!]]
[[File:AnttlersNewM45.jpg|thumb|right|Every star, and every pow'r, &lt;br/&gt; Look down on this important hour]]
[[File:M51 whirlpool galaxy black hole.jpg|thumb|right|Should the whole frame of Nature round him break, &lt;br/&gt; In ruin and confusion hurled, &lt;br/&gt; He, unconcerned, would hear the mighty crack, &lt;br/&gt; And stand secure amidst a falling world.]]
[[File:Arches westminster abbey.jpg|thumb|right|When I consider rival wits placed side by side, or the holy men that divided the world with their contests and disputes, I reflect with sorrow and astonishment on the little competitions, factions, and debates of mankind.]]
[[File:Joseph Addison (1672-1719).jpg|thumb|right|There is no greater sign of a general decay of virtue in a nation, than a want of zeal in its inhabitants for the good of their country.]]

* '''Music, the greatest good that mortals know,&lt;br/&gt;And all of heaven we have below.'''
** ''Song for [[w:Saint Cecilia|St. Cecilia]]'s Day'' (1692), st. 3

* '''Music religious heat inspires, &lt;br/&gt;It wakes the soul, and lifts it high''', &lt;br/&gt;And wings it with sublime desires, &lt;br/&gt;And fits it to bespeak the Deity.
** ''Song for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1692), st. 4

* '''When time itself shall be no more, &lt;br/&gt; And all things in confusion hurl'd, &lt;br/&gt; Music shall then exert it's power, &lt;br/&gt; And sound survive the ruins of the world''': &lt;br/&gt; Then saints and angels shall agree &lt;br/&gt; In one eternal jubilee: &lt;br/&gt; '''All Heaven shall echo with their hymns divine, &lt;br/&gt; And God himself with pleasure see &lt;br/&gt; The whole creation in a chorus join.'''
** ''Song for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1692)

* '''Consecrate the place and day &lt;br/&gt; To music and Cecilia. &lt;br/&gt; Let no rough winds approach, nor dare &lt;br/&gt; Invade the hallow'd bounds, &lt;br/&gt; Nor rudely shake the tuneful air, &lt;br/&gt; Nor spoil the fleeting sounds.''' &lt;br/&gt; Nor mournful sigh nor groan be heard, &lt;br/&gt; But gladness dwell on every tongue; &lt;br/&gt; Whilst all, with voice and strings prepar'd, &lt;br/&gt; '''Keep up the loud harmonious song, &lt;br/&gt; And imitate the blest above, &lt;br/&gt; In joy, and harmony, and love.'''
** ''Song for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1692)

* On you, my lord, with anxious fear I wait, &lt;br/&gt; And from your judgment must expect my fate.
** ''A Poem to His Majesty'' (1695), l. 21

* '''Let echo, too, perform her part, &lt;br/&gt;Prolonging every note with art'''; &lt;br/&gt;And in a low expiring strain, &lt;br/&gt;Play all the concert o'er again.
** ''Ode for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1699), st. 4

* A thousand trills and quivering sounds &lt;br/&gt;In airy circles o'er us fly, &lt;br/&gt;Till, wafted by a gentle breeze, &lt;br/&gt;They faint and languish by degrees, &lt;br/&gt;And at a distance die.
** ''Ode on St. Cecilia's Day'' (1699), st. 6

* For wheresoe'er I turn my ravished eyes, &lt;br/&gt; Gay gilded scenes and shining prospects rise, &lt;br/&gt; Poetic fields encompass me around, &lt;br/&gt; And still I seem to tread on classic ground.
** ''A Letter from Italy'', to the Right Honourable Charles, Lord Halifax (1701)

* Fain would I Raphael's godlike art rehearse, &lt;br/&gt; And show th' immortal labours in my verse, &lt;br/&gt; Where from themingled strength of shade and light &lt;br/&gt; '''A new creation rises to my sight''', &lt;br/&gt; Such heavenly figures from his pencil flow, &lt;br/&gt; So warm with life his blended colours glow. &lt;br/&gt; From theme to theme with secret pleasure tost, &lt;br/&gt; Amidst the soft variety I 'm lost: &lt;br/&gt; Here pleasing airs my ravish'd soul confound &lt;br/&gt; With circling notes and labyrinths of sound; &lt;br/&gt; Here domes and temples rise in distant views, &lt;br/&gt; And opening palaces invite my Muse.
** ''A Letter from Italy'' (1703)

* When hosts of foes with foes engage, &lt;br/&gt; And round th' anointed hero rage, &lt;br/&gt; The cleaving fauchion I misguide, &lt;br/&gt; And turn the feather'd shaft aside.
** Second Angel, in ''Rosamond'' (c. 1707), Act III, sc. i

* '''Where have my ravish'd senses been! &lt;br/&gt; What joys, what wonders, have I seen!''' &lt;br/&gt; The scene yet stands before my eye, &lt;br/&gt; A thousand glorious deeds that lie &lt;br/&gt; In deep futurity obscure, &lt;br/&gt; Fights and triumphs immature, &lt;br/&gt; '''Heroes immers'd in time's dark womb, &lt;br/&gt; Ripening for mighty years to come, &lt;br/&gt; Break forth, and, to the day display'd, &lt;br/&gt; My soft inglorious hours upbraid. &lt;br/&gt; Transported with so bright a scheme, &lt;br/&gt; My waking life appears a dream.'''
** Henry in ''Rosamond'' (c. 1707), Act III, sc. i

* '''Every star, and every pow'r, &lt;br/&gt; Look down on this important hour''': &lt;br/&gt; Lend your protection and defence &lt;br/&gt; Every guard of innocence! &lt;br/&gt; Help me my Henry to assuage, &lt;br/&gt; To gain his love or bear his rage. &lt;br/&gt; '''Mysterious love, uncertain treasure,&lt;br/&gt;Hast thou more of pain or pleasure!&lt;br/&gt;Chill'd with tears,&lt;br/&gt;Kill'd with fears,&lt;br/&gt;Endless torments dwell about thee:&lt;br/&gt;Yet who would live, and live without thee!'''
** Queen Elinor in ''Rosamond'' (c. 1707), Act III, sc. ii

*The ''French'' are certainly the most implacable, and the most dangerous Enemys of the ''British'' Nation. Their Form of Government, their Religion, their Jealousy of the ''British'' Power, as well as their Prosections of Commerce, and Pursuits of [[w:Universal monarchy|Universal Monarchy]], will fix them for ever in their Animosities and Aversions towards us, and make them catch at all Opportunities of subverting our Constitution, destroying our Religion, ruining our Trade, and sinking the Figure which we make among the Nations of ''Europe''...&lt;br&gt;As we are thus in a natural State of War, if I may so call it, with the ''French'' Nation; it is our Misfortune, that they are not only the most inveterate, but most formidable of our Enemies; and have the greatest Power, as well as the strongest Inclination to ruin us. 
**''The Present State of the War, and the Necessity of an Augmentation, Consider'd'' (1708), pp. 1-2

*The ''French'' King hath often enter'd on several expensive Projects, on purpose to dissipate the Wealth that is continually gathering in his Coffers in times of peace... But if he once engrosses the commerce of the ''Spanish Indies'', whatever Quantities of Gold and Silver stagnate in his private coffers, there will be still enough to carry on the Circulation among his Subjects. By this means in a short space of time he may heap up greater Wealth than all the Princes of ''Europe'' join'd together; and in the present Constitution of the World, '''Wealth and Power are but different Names for the same thing.''' Let us therefore suppose that after eight or ten Years of Peace, he hath a mind to infringe any of his Treaties, or invade a neighbouring State; to revive the pretensions of ''Spain'' upon ''Portugal'', or attempt the taking those Places which were granted us for our Security; what Resistance, what Opposition can we make to so formidable an Enemy? Shou'd the same Alliance rise against him that is now in War with him, what cou'd we hope for from it, at a time when the States engag'd in it will be comparatively weaken'd, and the Enemy who is now able to keep them at a stand, will have receiv'd so many new Accessions of Strength.
**''The Present State of the War, and the Necessity of an Augmentation, Consider'd'' (1708), pp. 11-12

* '''The man resolved, and steady to his trust, &lt;br/&gt; Inflexible to ill, and obstinately just, &lt;br/&gt; May the rude rabble's insolence despise''', &lt;br/&gt; Their senseless clamours and tumultuous cries; &lt;br/&gt; The tyrant's fierceness he beguiles, &lt;br/&gt; And the stern brow, and the harsh voice defies, &lt;br/&gt; And with superior greatness smiles.
** Translation of ''[[Horace]]'', ''Odes'', Book III, ode iii

* '''Should the whole frame of Nature round him break, &lt;br/&gt; In ruin and confusion hurled, &lt;br/&gt; He, unconcerned, would hear the mighty crack, &lt;br/&gt; And stand secure amidst a falling world.'''
** Translation of ''[[Horace]]'', ''Odes'', Book III, ode iii

* When I read the several dates of the tombs, of some that died yesterday, and some six hundred years ago, I consider that great day when we shall all of us be contemporaries, and make our appearance together.
** ''Thoughts in Westminster Abbey'' (1711)

* '''When I read the epitaphs of the beautiful, every inordinate desire goes out'''; when I meet with the grief of parents upon a tombstone, my heart melts with compassion; when I see the tomb of the parents themselves, I consider the vanity of grieving for those whom we must quickly follow: '''when I see kings lying by those who deposed them, when I consider rival wits placed side by side, or the holy men that divided the world with their contests and disputes, I reflect with sorrow and astonishment on the little competitions, factions, and debates of mankind.'''
** ''Thoughts in Westminster Abbey'' (1711)

* '''See in what peace a Christian can die!'''
** Last words, to his stepson (1719), as quoted in ''Conjectures on Original Composition'' (1759) by [[w:Edward Young|Edward Young]]
** Variants:
** '''I have sent for you that you may see in what peace a Christian may die.'''
*** As quoted in ''The R. I. Schoolmaster'', Vol. V (1859), edited by William A. Mowry and Henry Clark, p. 71
** I have sent for you that you may see how a Christian may die.
*** As quoted in ''Famous Sayings and their Authors'' (1906) by Edward Latham

=== ''The Campaign'' (1704) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://addison.classicauthors.net/campaign/ Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:UK Royal Coat of Arms.svg|thumb|right|Great souls by instinct to each other turn, &lt;br/&gt; Demand alliance, and in friendship burn]]
[[File:Battle of Tolbiac.jpg|thumb|right|Nations with nations mix'd confus'dly die, &lt;br/&gt; And lost in one promiscuous carnage lie.]]
[[File:MichaelKi.jpg|thumb|right|Calm and serene he drives the furious blast; &lt;br/&gt;And, pleas'd th' Almighty's orders to perform, &lt;br/&gt;Rides in the whirlwind, and directs the storm.]]

* '''Great souls by instinct to each other turn, &lt;br/&gt; Demand alliance, and in friendship burn'''; &lt;br/&gt; A sudden friendship, while with stretched-out rays &lt;br/&gt; They meet each other, mingling blaze with blaze. &lt;br/&gt; Polished in courts, and hardened in the field, &lt;br/&gt; Renowned for conquest, and in council skilled, &lt;br/&gt; '''Their courage dwells not in a troubled flood &lt;br/&gt; Of mounting spirits, and fermenting blood: &lt;br/&gt; Lodged in the soul, with virtue overruled, &lt;br/&gt; Inflamed by reason, and by reason cooled, &lt;br/&gt; In hours of peace content to be unknown. &lt;br/&gt; And only in the field of battle shown: &lt;br/&gt; To souls like these, in mutual friendship joined, &lt;br/&gt; Heaven dares intrust the cause of humankind.'''
** Line 101

* '''Nations with nations mix'd confus'dly die, &lt;br/&gt; And lost in one promiscuous carnage lie.'''
** Line 152

* Unbounded courage and compassion join'd, &lt;br/&gt; Tempering each other in the victor's mind, &lt;br/&gt; Alternately proclaim him good and great, &lt;br/&gt; And make the hero and the man complete.
** Line 219

* '''So when an angel by divine command &lt;br/&gt;With rising tempests shakes a guilty land, &lt;br/&gt;Such as of late o'er pale Britannia passed, &lt;br/&gt;Calm and serene he drives the furious blast; &lt;br/&gt;And, pleas'd th' Almighty's orders to perform, &lt;br/&gt;Rides in the whirlwind, and directs the storm.'''
** Line 287, the word &quot;passed&quot; was here originally spelt &quot;past&quot; but modern renditions have updated the spelling for clarity. An alteration of these lines occurs in [[Alexander Pope]]'s satire ''[[The Dunciad|The Dunciad]]'', Book III, line 264, where he describes a contemporary theatre manager as an &quot;Angel of Dulness&quot;:
:: Immortal Rich! how calm he sits at ease, &lt;br/&gt; Midst snows of paper, and fierce hail of pease; &lt;br/&gt; And proud his mistress' order to perform, &lt;br/&gt; Rides in the whirlwind and directs the storm.

* O Dormer, how can I behold thy fate, &lt;br/&gt;And not the wonders of thy youth relate; &lt;br/&gt;How can I see the gay, the brave, the young, &lt;br/&gt;Fall in the cloud of war, and lie unsung! &lt;br/&gt;In joys of conquest he resigns his breath, &lt;br/&gt;And, filled with England's glory, smiles in death.
** Line 309

* '''Rais'd of themselves, their genuine charms they boast, &lt;br/&gt; And those who paint them truest praise them most.'''
** last lines

=== ''Cato, A Tragedy'' (1713)===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.constitution.org/addison/cato_play.htm Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Lightning8 - NOAA.jpg|thumb|right|Is there not some chosen curse, &lt;br/&gt; Some hidden thunder in the stores of heaven, &lt;br/&gt; Red with uncommon wrath, to blast the man &lt;br/&gt; Who owes his greatness to his country's ruin?]]
[[File:Marcus Porcius Cato.jpg|thumb|right|'Tis not in mortals to command success, &lt;br/&gt; But we'll do more, Sempronius; we'll deserve it.]]
[[File:Cato Utica Louvre LP2090.jpg|thumb|right|A day, an hour, of virtuous liberty &lt;br/&gt; Is worth a whole eternity in bondage.]]
[[File:Guillaume Guillon Lethière-The Death of Cato of Utica, 1795.jpg|thumb|right|What pity is it &lt;br/&gt; That we can die but once to serve our country!]]

* '''Is there not some chosen curse, &lt;br/&gt; Some hidden thunder in the stores of heaven, &lt;br/&gt; Red with uncommon wrath, to blast the man &lt;br/&gt; Who owes his greatness to his country's ruin?'''
** Act I, scene i

* The dawn is overcast, the morning lowers, &lt;br/&gt; And heavily in clouds brings on the day, &lt;br/&gt; The great, the important day, &lt;br/&gt; Big with the fate Of Cato, and of Rome.
** Act I, scene i

* Thy steady temper, Portius, &lt;br/&gt; Can look on guilt, rebellion, fraud, and Cæsar, &lt;br/&gt; In the calm lights of mild philosophy.
** Act I, scene i

* Love is not to be reason'd down, or lost&lt;br /&gt;In high ambition, and a thirst of greatness;&lt;br /&gt;'Tis second life, it grows into the soul,&lt;br /&gt;Warms every vein, and beats in every pulse.
** Act I, scene i

* ''' 'Tis not in mortals to command success, &lt;br/&gt; But we'll do more, Sempronius; we'll deserve it.'''
** Act I, scene ii

* Thy father's merit sets thee up to view, &lt;br/&gt; And shows thee in the fairest point of light, &lt;br/&gt; To make thy virtues, or thy faults, conspicuous.
** Act I, scene ii

* Oh! think what anxious moments pass between &lt;br/&gt; The birth of plots, and their last fatal periods, &lt;br/&gt; Oh! 'tis a dreadful interval of time, &lt;br/&gt; Filled up with horror all, and big with death!
** Act I, scene iii

* '''Better to die ten thousand deaths, &lt;br/&gt; Than wound my honour.'''
** Act I, scene iv

* If the following day he chance to find &lt;br/&gt; A new repast, or an untasted spring, &lt;br/&gt; Blesses his stars, and thinks it luxury.
** Act I, scene iv

* 'Tis [[pride]], rank pride, and haughtiness of soul: &lt;br/&gt; I think the Romans call it Stoicism.
** Act I, scene iv

* Were you with these, my prince, you'd soon forget &lt;br/&gt; The pale, unripened beauties of the north.
** Act I, scene iv

* Beauty soon grows familiar to the lover, &lt;br/&gt; Fades in his eye, and palls upon the sense.
** Act I, scene iv

* '''My voice is still for war. &lt;br/&gt; Gods! Can a Roman senate long debate &lt;br/&gt; Which of the two to choose, slavery or death?''' &lt;br/&gt; No, let us rise at once, &lt;br/&gt; Gird on our swords, and, &lt;br/&gt; At the head of our remaining troops, attack the foe, &lt;br/&gt; Break through the thick array of his throng'd legions, &lt;br/&gt; And charge home upon him. &lt;br/&gt; '''Perhaps some arm, more lucky than the rest, &lt;br/&gt; May reach his heart, and free the world from bondage.'''
** Act II, scene i

* '''A day, an hour, of virtuous liberty &lt;br/&gt; Is worth a whole eternity in bondage.'''
** Act II, scene i

* Great Pompey's shade complains that we are slow, &lt;br/&gt; And Scipio's ghost walks unavenged amongst us!
** Act II, scene i

* '''Young men soon give and soon forget affronts; &lt;br/&gt; Old age is slow in both.'''
** Act II, scene v

* The friendships of the world are oft &lt;br/&gt; Confederacies in vice, or leagues of pleasure; &lt;br/&gt; Ours has severest virtue for its basis, &lt;br/&gt; And such a friendship ends not but with life.
** Act III, scene i

* When love's well-timed 'tis not a fault of love; &lt;br/&gt; The strong, the brave, the virtuous, and the wise, &lt;br/&gt; Sink in the soft captivity together.
** Act III, scene i

* Loveliest of women! heaven is in thy soul, &lt;br/&gt; Beauty and virtue shine forever round thee, &lt;br/&gt; Bright'ning each other! thou art all divine!
** Act III, scene ii

* '''Talk not of love: thou never knew'st its force.'''
** Act III, scene ii

* To my confusion, and eternal grief, &lt;br/&gt; I must approve the sentence that destroys me.
** Act III, scene ii

* See they suffer death, &lt;br/&gt; But in their deaths remember they are men, &lt;br/&gt; '''Strain not the laws to make their tortures grievous.'''
** Act III, scene v

* Why wilt thou add to all the griefs I suffer &lt;br/&gt; Imaginary ills, and fancy'd tortures?
** Act IV, scene i

* When love once pleas admission to our hearts, &lt;br/&gt; (In spite of all the virtue we can boast), &lt;br/&gt; The woman that deliberates is lost.
** Variant: &quot;When love once pleads admission to our hearts...&quot;
** Act IV, scene i. The last line has often been misreported as &quot;He who hesitates is lost&quot;, a sentiment inspired by it but not penned by Addison. See Paul F. Boller, Jr., and John George, ''They Never Said It: A Book of Fake Quotes, Misquotes, &amp; Misleading Attributions'' (1989), p. 3

* I will indulge my sorrows, and give way &lt;br/&gt; To all the pangs and fury of despair.
** Act IV, scene iii

* Curse on his virtues! they've undone his country.
** Act IV, scene iv

* How beautiful is death, when earn'd by virtue! &lt;br/&gt; Who would not be that youth? '''What pity is it &lt;br/&gt; That we can die but once to serve our country!'''
** Act IV, scene iv

* '''Content thyself to be obscurely good. &lt;br/&gt; When vice prevails, and impious men bear sway, &lt;br/&gt; The post of honor is a private station.'''
** Act IV, scene iv

* O ye powers that search &lt;br/&gt; The heart of man, and weigh his inmost thoughts, &lt;br/&gt; If I have done amiss, impute it not! &lt;br/&gt; The best may err, but you are good.
** Act IV, scene iv

* Thanks to the gods! my boy has done his duty.
** Act IV, scene iv

* The honors of this world, what are they &lt;br/&gt; But puff, and emptiness, and peril of falling?
** Act IV, scene iv

* The stars shall fade away, the sun himself &lt;br/&gt; Grow dim with age, and nature sink in years, &lt;br/&gt; But thou shalt flourish in immortal youth, &lt;br/&gt; Unhurt amidst the wars of elements, &lt;br/&gt; The wrecks of matter, and the crush of worlds.
** Act V, scene i

[[File:Halo in cirrostratus 1.jpg|thumb|right|If there's a power above us, &lt;br/&gt; (And that there is all nature cries aloud &lt;br/&gt; Through all her works) he must delight in virtue.]]
* '''If there's a power above us, &lt;br/&gt; (And that there is all nature cries aloud &lt;br/&gt; Through all her works) he must delight in virtue.'''
** Act V, scene i

* It must be so — [[Plato]], thou reasonest well! &lt;br/&gt; Else whence this pleasing hope, this fond desire, &lt;br/&gt; This longing after immortality? &lt;br/&gt; Or whence this secret dread, and inward horror, &lt;br/&gt; O falling into nought? Why shrinks the soul &lt;br/&gt; Back on herself, and startles at destruction? &lt;br/&gt; 'Tis the divinity that stirs within us; &lt;br/&gt; ''' 'Tis heaven itself, that points out an hereafter, &lt;br/&gt; And intimates eternity to man.'''
** Act V, scene i

[[File:Sun-halo-roscoff.jpg|thumb|right|Nature does nothing without purpose or uselessly.]]
* '''Eternity! thou pleasing dreadful thought!''' &lt;br/&gt; Through what variety of untried being, &lt;br/&gt; Through what new scenes and changes must we pass!
** Act V, scene i

* I'm weary of conjectures,—this must end 'em. &lt;br/&gt; Thus am I doubly armed: '''my death and life, &lt;br/&gt; My bane and antidote, are both before me''': &lt;br/&gt; This in a moment brings me to an end; &lt;br/&gt; But this informs me I shall never die. &lt;br/&gt; The soul, secured in her existence, smiles &lt;br/&gt; At the drawn dagger, and defies its point. &lt;br/&gt; The stars shall fade away, the sun himself &lt;br/&gt; Grow dim with age, and Nature sink in years; &lt;br/&gt; But thou shalt flourish in immortal youth, &lt;br/&gt; Unhurt amidst the war of elements, &lt;br/&gt; The wrecks of matter, and the crush of worlds.
** Act V, scene i

* '''Nature does nothing without purpose or uselessly.'''
** Act V, scene i

* The ideal man bears the accidents of life &lt;br/&gt; With dignity and grace, the best of circumstances.
** Act V, scene i

* '''The soul, secured in her existence, smiles &lt;br/&gt; At the drawn dagger, and defies its point.'''
** Act V, scene i

* What means this heaviness that hangs upon me? &lt;br/&gt; This lethargy that creeps through all my senses? &lt;br/&gt; Nature, oppress'd and harrass'd out with care, &lt;br/&gt; Sinks down to rest.
** Act V, scene i

* Sweet are the slumbers of the virtuous man.
** Act V, scene iv

* '''From hence, let fierce contending nations know, &lt;br/&gt; What dire effects from civil discord flow.'''
** Act V, scene iv

=== ''The Guardian'' (1713) ===
[[File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|thumb|right|There in no virtue so truly great and godlike as justice.]]

* '''There is no virtue so truly great and godlike as justice.'''
** No. 99

* To be perfectly just is an attribute in the divine nature; to be so to the utmost of our abilities, is the glory of man.
** No. 99

* '''Justice discards party, friendship, kindred, and is therefore always represented as blind.'''
** No. 99

* '''Knowledge is, indeed, that which, next to virtue, truly and essentially raises one man above another.'''
** No. 111

* When I read the rules of criticism, I immediately inquire after the works of the author who has written them, and by that means discover what it is he likes in a composition.
** No. 115

* Courage that grows from constitution very often forsakes a man when he has occasion for it, and when it is only a kind of instinct in the Soul breaks out on all occasions without judgment or discretion. That courage which proceeds from the sense of our duty, and from the fear of offending Him that made us, acts always in a uniform manner, and according to the dictates of right reason.
** No. 117

* Blessings may appear under the shape of pains, losses and disappointments; but let him have patience, and he will see them in their proper figures.
** No. 117

* '''A good conscience is to the soul what health is to the body'''; '''it preserves a constant ease and serenity within us''', and more than countervails all the calamities and afflictions which can possibly befall us.
** No. 135

* The sense of honour is of so fine and delicate a nature, that it is only to be met with in minds which are naturally noble, or in such as have been cultivated by good examples, or a refined education.
** No. 161

* Charity is a virtue of the heart, and not of the hands.
** No. 166

* '''Gifts and alms are the expressions, not the essence, of this virtue.'''
** No. 166

=== ''[[w:The Spectator (1711)|The Spectator]]'' (1711–1714) ===
[[File:The Spectator 1788.jpg|thumb|right|I live in the world rather as a spectator of mankind than as one of the species.]]
[[File:SépultureCathelineau.JPG|thumb|right|The Fear of Death often proves Mortal, and sets People on Methods to save their Lives, which infallibly destroy them.]]

* '''If I can any way contribute to the diversion or improvement of the country in which I live, I shall leave it, when I am summoned out of it, with the secret satisfaction of thinking that I have not lived in vain.'''
** No. 1 (1 March 1711)

* '''Thus I live in the world rather as a spectator of mankind than as one of the species.'''
** No. 1 (1 March 1711)

* To be exempt from the passions with which others are tormented, is the only pleasing solitude.
** No. 4 (5 March 1711)

* I would... earnestly advise them for their good to order this paper to be punctually served up, and to be looked upon as a part of the tea equipage.
** No. 10 (11 March 1711)

* '''I shall endeavor to enliven morality with wit, and to temper wit with morality.'''
** No. 10 (11 March 1711)

* '''True happiness is of a retired nature, and an enemy to pomp and noise; it arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one's self, and in the next, from the friendship and conversation of a few select companions.'''
** No. 15 (March 17, 1711)

* '''That nothing is capable of being well set to Musick, that is not Nonsense.'''
** No. 18 (March 21, 1711)

* '''The Fear of Death often proves Mortal''', and sets People on Methods to save their Lives, which infallibly destroy them.
** No. 25 (29 March 1711)

* It is indeed very possible, that the Persons we laugh at may in the main of their Characters be much wiser Men than our selves; but if they would have us laugh at them, they must fall short of us in those Respects which stir up this Passion.
** No. 47 (24 April 1711)

* In all thy humours, whether grave or mellow, &lt;br/&gt; Thou 'rt such a touchy, testy, pleasant fellow, &lt;br/&gt; Hast so much wit and mirth and spleen about thee, &lt;br/&gt; There is no living with thee, nor without thee.
** No. 68 (18 May 1911)

* '''There is not a more unhappy being than a superannuated idol.'''
** No. 73 (24 May 1711)

* A man that has a taste of music, painting, or architecture, is like one that has another sense, when compared with such as have no relish of those arts.
** No. 93 (16 June 1711)

* '''Of all the diversions of life, there is none so proper to fill up its empty spaces as the reading of useful and entertaining authors.'''
** No. 94 (18 June 1711)

* There is not so variable a thing in Nature as a lady's head-dress.
** No. 98 (22 June 1711)

* &quot;Censure,&quot; says [[Jonathan Swift|a late ingenious author]], &quot;is the tax a man plays for being eminent.&quot; It is a folly for an eminent man to think of escaping it, and a weakness to be affected with it. '''All the illustrious persons of antiquity, and indeed of every age in the world, have passed through this fiery persecution. There is no defense against reproach but obscurity'''; it is a kind of comitant to greatness, as satires and invectives were an essential part of a Roman triumph.
** No. 101 (26 June 1711)

* '''If men of eminence are exposed to censure on one hand, they are as much liable to flattery on the other. If they receive reproaches which are not due to them, they likewise receive praises which they do not deserve.''' In a word, the man in a high post is never regarded with an indifferent eye, but always considered as a friend or an enemy. For this reason persons in great stations have seldom their true characters drawn till several years after their deaths. Their personal friendships and enmities must cease, and the parties they were engaged in be at an end, before their faults or their virtues can have justice done them. When writers have the least opportunity of knowing the truth, they are in the best disposition to tell it. &lt;br/&gt; It is therefore the privilege of posterity to adjust the characters of illustrious persons, and to set matters right between those antagonists who by their rivalry for greatness divided a whole age into factions.
** No. 101 (26 June 1711), this has sometimes been quoted as &quot;It is the privilege of posterity to set matters right between those antagonists who, by their rivalry for greatness, divided a whole age&quot;.

[[File:A Commonwealth Cross of Sacrifice or War Cross.jpg|thumb|right|Much might be said on both sides.]]
* [[Sunday]] clears away the rust of the whole week.
** No. 112 (9 July 1711)

* Exercise ferments the humors, casts them into their proper channels, throws off redundancies, and helps nature in those secret distributions, without which the body cannot subsist in its vigor, nor the soul act with cheerfulness.
** No. 115 (12 July 1711)

* When I consider the Question, Whether there are such Persons in the World as those we call Witches? my Mind is divided between the two opposite Opinions; or rather (to speak my Thoughts freely) I believe in general that there is, and has been such a thing as Witchcraft; but at the same time can give no Credit to any Particular Instance of it.
** No. 117 (14 July 1711)

* Animals in their generation are wiser than the sons of men; but their wisdom is confined to a few particulars, and lies in a very narrow compass.
** No. 120 (18 July 1711)

* The most violent appetites in all creatures are lust and hunger: the first is a perpetual call upon them to propogate their kind; the latter to preserve themselves.
** No. 120 (18 July 1711)

* '''Much might be said on both sides.'''
** No. 122 (20 July 1711)

* '''A man's first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart; his next to escape the censures of the world''': if the last interferes with the former, it ought to be entirely neglected; but otherwise there cannot be a greater satisfaction to an honest mind, than to see those approbations which it gives itself seconded by the applauses of the public: a man is more sure of his conduct, when the verdict which he passes upon his own behaviour is thus warranted and confirmed by the opinion of all that know him.
** On &quot;[[w:Roger de Coverley|Sir Roger]]&quot;, in No. 122 (20 July 1711)

* Authors have established it as a kind of rule, that a man ought to be dull sometimes; as the most severe reader makes allowances for many rests and nodding places in a voluminous writer.
** No. 124 (23 July 1711)

* A cloudy day or a little sunshine have as great an influence on many constitutions as the most real blessings or misfortunes.
** No. 162 (5 September 1711)

* Mutability of temper and inconsistency with ourselves is the greatest weakness of human nature.
** No. 162 (5 September 1711)

* The circumstance which gives authors an advantage above all these great masters, is this, that they can multiply their originals; or rather, can make copies of their works, to what number they please, which shall be as valuable as the originals themselves.
** No. 166 (10 September 1711)

* '''Books are the legacies that a great genius leaves to mankind''', which are delivered down from generation to generation, as presents to the posterity of those who are yet unborn.
** No. 166 (10 September 1711)

* Man is subject to innumerable pains and sorrows by the very condition of humanity, and yet, as if nature had not sown evils enough in life, we are continually adding grief to grief, and aggravating the common calamity by our cruel treatment of one another.
** No. 169 (13 September 1711)

* '''Good nature is more agreeable in conversation than wit, and gives a certain air to the countenance which is more amiable than beauty.'''
** No. 169 (13 September 1711)

* I have somewhere met with the epitaph of a charitable man, which has very much pleased me. I cannot recollect the words, but the sense of it is to this purpose; '''''What I spent I lost; what I possessed is left to others; what I gave away remains with me.'''''
** No. 177 (22 September 1711)

* I would fain ask one of these bigotted Infidels, supposing all the great Points of Atheism … were laid together and formed into a kind of Creed, according to the Opinions of the most celebrated Atheists; I say, supposing such a Creed as this were formed, and imposed upon any one People in the World, whether it would not require an infinitely greater Measure of Faith, than any Set of Articles which they so violently oppose.
** [http://archive.twoaspirinsandacomedy.com/spectator/spectator.php?line=185 No. 185] (2 October 1711).
** Often misquoted as &quot;To be an atheist requires an infinitely greater measure of faith than to receive all the great truths which atheism would deny.&quot;

* The man who will live above his present circumstances is in great danger of living in a little time much beneath them; or as the Italian proverb runs, &quot;The man who lives by hope, will die by hunger.&quot;
** No. 191 (9 October 1711)

* Were I to prescribe a rule for drinking, it should be formed upon a saying quoted by Sir [[William Temple]]: the first glass for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the fourth for mine enemies.
** No. 195 (13 October 1711)

[[File:Reconciliation by Vasconcellos, Coventry.jpg|thumb|right|A man must be excessively stupid, as well as uncharitable, who believes that there is no virtue but on his own side, and that there are not men as honest as himself who may differ from him in political principles.]]
* I consider an human soul without education like marble in the quarry, which shews none of its inherent beauties till the skill of the polisher fetches out the colours, makes the surface shine, and discovers every ornamental cloud, spot and vein that runs through the body of it.
** No. 215 (6 November 1711)

* What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to the human soul.
** No. 215 (6 November 1711)

* Discretion is a perfection of reason, and a guide to us in all the duties of life.
** No. 225 (17 November 1711)

* A just and reasonable modesty does not only recommend eloquence, but sets off every great talent which a man can be possessed of.
** No. 231 (24 November 1711)

* Mere bashfulness without merit is awkward; and merit without modesty, insolent. But modest merit has a double claim to acceptance, and generally meets with as many patrons as beholders.
** No. 231 (24 November 1711)

* Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue.
** No. 231 (24 November 1711)

* '''A man must be excessively stupid, as well as uncharitable, who believes that there is no virtue but on his own side, and that there are not men as honest as himself who may differ from him in political principles.'''
** No. 243 (8 December 1711)

[[File:Thanksgiving chapel interior.jpg|thumb|right|Some virtues are only seen in affliction and some in prosperity.]]
* '''What an absurd thing it is to pass over all the valuable parts of a man, and fix our attention on his infirmities.'''
** No. 249 (15 December 1711)

* Were not this desire of fame very strong, the difficulty of obtaining it, and the danger of losing it when obtained, would be sufficient to deter a man from so vain a pursuit.
** No. 255 (22 December 1711)

* Admiration is a very short-lived passion that immediately decays upon growing familiar with its object, unless it be still fed with fresh discoveries, and kept alive by a new perpetual succession of miracles rising up to its view.
** No. 256 (24 December 1711)
** Often only the first half of this statement is quoted

* Ambition raises a secret tumult in the soul, it inflames the mind, and puts it into a violent hurry of thought.
** No. 256 (24 December 1711)

* '''Some virtues are only seen in affliction and some in prosperity.'''
** No. 257 (25 December 1711)

* I have often thought, says Sir Roger, it happens very well that Christmas should fall out in the Middle of the Winter
** No. 269 (8 January 1712)

[[File:Double-alaskan-rainbow.jpg|thumb|right|Health and cheerfulness mutually beget each other.]]
* '''A true critic ought to dwell rather upon excellencies than imperfections, to discover the concealed beauties of a writer, and communicate to the world such things as are worth their observation.'''
** No. 291 (2 February 1712)

* These widows, sir, are the most perverse creatures in the world.
** No. 335 (25 March 1712)

* '''Death only closes a Man's Reputation, and determines it as good or bad.'''
** No. 349 (10 April 1712); famously seen on the brothel wall in the film ''[[w:Easy Rider|Easy Rider]]''.

* Mirth is like a flash of lightning, that breaks through a gloom of clouds, and glitters for a moment; cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind, and fills it with a steady and perpetual serenity.
** No. 381 (17 May 1712)

* Sir Roger made several reflections on the greatness of the British Nation; as, that one Englishman could beat three Frenchmen; that we could never be in danger of Popery so long as we took care of our fleet; that the Thames was the noblest river in Europe...with many other honest prejudices which naturally cleave to the heart of a true Englishman.
** No. 383 (20 May 1712)

* '''Cheerfulness is...the best promoter of health.'''
** No. 387 (24 May 1712)

* '''Health and cheerfulness mutually beget each other.'''
** No. 387 (24 May 1712)

[[File:CL0024+17.jpg|thumb|right|The spacious firmament on high, &lt;br/&gt; With all the blue ethereal sky, &lt;br/&gt; And spangled heavens, a shining frame, &lt;br/&gt; Their great Original proclaim.]]
* Everything that is new or uncommon raises a pleasure in the imagination, because it fills the soul with an agreeable surprise, gratifies its curiosity, and gives it an idea of which it was not before possessed.
** No. 412 (23 June 1712)

* The Lord my pasture shall prepare, &lt;br/&gt; And feed me with a shepherd's care; &lt;br/&gt; His presence shall my wants supply, &lt;br/&gt; And guard me with a watchful eye.
** No. 444 (26 July 1712)

* Our delight in any particular study, art, or science rises and improves in proportion to the application which we bestow upon it. Thus, what was at first an exercise becomes at length an entertainment.
** No. 447 (2 August 1712)

* When all thy mercies, O my God, &lt;br/&gt; My rising soul surveys, &lt;br/&gt; '''Transported with the view, I'm lost &lt;br/&gt; In wonder, love and praise.'''
** No. 453 (9 August 1712)

* '''The spacious firmament on high, &lt;br/&gt; With all the blue ethereal sky, &lt;br/&gt; And spangled heavens, a shining frame, &lt;br/&gt; Their great Original proclaim.'''
** No. 465, ''Ode'' (23 August 1712).
** Also in ''The Polite Arts'' (1749), Chap. XXI. &quot;Of Lyrick Poetry.&quot; 

* Soon as the evening shades prevail, &lt;br/&gt; The moon takes up the wondrous tale, &lt;br/&gt; And nightly to the listening earth &lt;br/&gt; Repeats the story of her birth; &lt;br/&gt; While all the stars that round her burn, &lt;br/&gt; And all the planets in their turn, &lt;br/&gt; Confirm the tidings as they roll, &lt;br/&gt; And spread the truth from pole to pole.
** No. 465, ''Ode'' (23 August 1712)

* What though no real voice nor sound &lt;br/&gt; Amid their radiant orbs be found ; &lt;br/&gt; In reason's ear they all rejoice, &lt;br/&gt; And utter forth a glorious voice, &lt;br/&gt; Forever singing as they shine, &lt;br/&gt; &quot;The Hand that made us divine.&quot;
** No. 465, ''Ode'' (23 August 1712)

* A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
** No. 475 (4 September 1712)

* Method is not less requisite in ordinary conversation than in writing, provided a man would talk to make himself understood.
** No. 476 (5 September 1712)

* Our disputants put me in mind of the skuttle fish, that when he is unable to extricate himself, blackens all the water about him, till he becomes invisible.
** No. 476 (5 September 1712)

* Irregularity and want of method are only supportable in men of great learning or genius, who are often too full to be exact, and therefore choose to throw down their pearls in heaps before the reader, rather than be at the pains of stringing them.
** No. 476 (5 September 1712)

[[File:Georges Seurat 019.jpg|thumb|right|Man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter.]]
* '''I value my garden more for being full of blackbirds than cherries, and very frankly give them fruit for their songs.'''
** No. 477 (6 September 1712)

* The fraternity of the henpecked.
** No. 482 (12 September 1712)

* '''If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter.'''
** No. 494 (26 September 1712)

* There is nothing which we receive with so much reluctance as advice.
** No. 512 (17 October 1712)

* '''If we hope for what we are not likely to possess, we act and think in vain, and make life a greater dream and shadow than it really is.'''
** No. 535 (13 November 1712)

* An ostentatious man will rather relate a blunder or an absurdity he has committed, than be debarred from talking of his own dear person.
** No. 562 (2 July 1714)

* '''A man should always consider how much he has more than he wants.'''
** No. 574 (30 July 1714)

* '''Upon the whole, a contented mind is the greatest blessing a man can enjoy in this world.'''
** No. 574 (30 July 1714)

* We are always doing something for Posterity, but I would fain see Posterity do something for us.
** No. 587 (20 August 1714)

=== ''The Tatler'' (1711–1714) ===
* Men may change their climate, but they cannot change their nature. A man that goes out a fool cannot ride or sail himself into common sense.
** No. 93

* Silence never shows itself to so great an advantage, as when it is made the reply to calumny and defamation, provided that we give no just occasion for them.
** No. 133

* A misery is not to be measured from the nature of the evil, but from the temper of the sufferer.
** No. 146

* '''Reading is to the mind, what exercise is to the body.''' As by the one, health is preserved, strengthened, and invigorated: by the other, virtue (which is the health of the mind) is kept alive, cherished, and confirmed.
** No. 147

* '''A cheerful temper joined with innocence will make beauty attractive, knowledge delightful and wit good-natured.'''
** No. 192

* Advertisements are of great use to the vulgar. First of all, as they are instruments of ambition. A man that is by no means big enough for the Gazette, may easily creep into the advertisements; by which means we often see an apothecary in the same paper of news with a plenipotentiary, or a running footman with an ambassador.
** No. 224

[[File:Caspar David Friedrich - Wanderer above the sea of fog.jpg|thumb|right|Discretion has large and extended views, and, like a well-formed eye, commands a whole horizon: cunning is a kind of short-sightedness, that discovers the minutest objects which are near at hand, but is not able to discern things at a distance.]]
* '''The great art in writing advertisements is the finding out a proper method to catch the reader's eye; without which a good thing may pass over unobserved, or be lost among commissions of bankrupt.'''
** No. 224

[[File:Brocken Spectre at Peak Korzhenevskaya.jpg|thumb|right|There are many more shining qualities in the mind of man, but there is none so useful as discretion...]]
* I Have often thought if the minds of men were laid open, we should see but little difference between that of the wise man and that of the fool. There are infinite reveries, numberless extravagances, and a perpetual train of vanities which pass through both. The great difference is, that the first knows how to pick and cull his thoughts for conversation, by suppressing some, and communicating others; whereas the other lets them all indifferently fly out in words.
** No. 225

* '''There are many more shining qualities in the mind of man, but there is none so useful as discretion'''; it is this, indeed, which gives a value to all the rest, which sets them at work in their proper times and places, and turns them to the advantage of the person who is possessed of them. Without it, learning is pedantry, and wit impertinence; virtue itself looks like weakness; the best parts only qualify a man to be more sprightly in errors, and active to his own prejudice.
** No. 225

* '''The discreet man finds out the talents of those he converses with, and knows how to apply them to proper uses.''' Accordingly, if we look into particular communities and divisions of men, we may observe that it is the discreet man, not the witty, nor the learned, nor the brave, who guides the conversation, and gives measures to the society.
** No. 225

* '''Though a man has all other perfections, and wants discretion, he will be of no great consequence in the world'''; but if he has this single talent in perfection, and but a common share of others, he may do what he pleases in his station of life.
** No. 225

[[File:Hoag's object.jpg|thumb|right|The cast of mind which is natural to a discreet man, make him look forward into futurity, and consider what will be his condition millions of ages hence, as well as what it is at present.]]
* '''At the same time that I think discretion the most useful talent a man can be master of, I look upon cunning to be the accomplishment of little, mean, ungenerous minds.''' Discretion points out the noblest ends to us, and pursues the most proper and laudable methods of attaining them: cunning has only private selfish aims, and sticks at nothing which may make them succeed. '''Discretion has large and extended views, and, like a well-formed eye, commands a whole horizon: cunning is a kind of short-sightedness, that discovers the minutest objects which are near at hand, but is not able to discern things at a distance. Discretion the more it is discovered, gives a greater authority to the person who possesses it: cunning, when it is once detected, loses its force, and makes a man incapable of bringing about even those events which he might have done had he passed only for a plain man.''' Discretion is the perfection of reason, and a guide to us in all the duties of life: cunning is a kind of instinct, that only looks out after our immediate interest and welfare. Discretion is only found in men of strong sense and good understandings, cunning is often to be met with in brutes themselves, and in persons who are but the fewest removes from them.
** No. 225

* '''Cunning is only the mimic of discretion, and may pass upon weak men in the same manner as vivacity is often mistaken for wit, and gravity for wisdom.'''
** No. 225

* '''The cast of mind which is natural to a discreet man, make him look forward into futurity, and consider what will be his condition millions of ages hence, as well as what it is at present.''' He knows that the misery or happiness which are reserved for him in another world, lose nothing of their reality by being placed at so great a distance from him. The objects do not appear little to him because they are remote. He considers that those pleasures and pains which lie hid in eternity, approach nearer to him every moment, and will be present with him in their full weight and measure, as much as those pains and pleasures which he feels at this very instant. For this reason he is careful to secure to himself that which is the proper happiness of his nature, and the ultimate design of his being. He carries his thoughts to the end of every action, and considers the most distant as well as the most immediate effects of it. He supersedes every little prospect of gain and advantage which offers itself here, if he does not find it consistent with his views of an hereafter. '''In a word, his hopes are full of immortality, his schemes are large and glorious, and his conduct suitable to one who knows his true interest, and how to pursue it by proper methods.'''
** No. 225

=== ''The Freeholder'' (1715–1716) ===
* Arguments out of a pretty mouth are unanswerable.
** No. 4 (2 January 1716)

* '''There is no greater sign of a general decay of virtue in a nation, than a want of zeal in its inhabitants for the good of their country.'''
** No. 5 (6 January 1716)

* Though there is a benevolence due to all mankind, none can question but a superior degree of it is to be paid to a father, a wife, or a child. In the same manner, though our love should reach to the whole species, a greater proportion of it should exert itself towards that community in which Providence has placed us. This is our proper sphere of action, the province allotted us for the exercise of our civil virtues, and in which alone we have opportunities of expressing our good-will to mankind.
** No. 5 (6 January 1716)

* Prejudice and self-sufficiency naturally proceed from inexperience of the world, and ignorance of mankind.
** No. 30 (2 April 1716)

* '''When men are easy in their circumstances, they are naturally enemies to innovations.'''
** No. 42 (16 May 1716)

=== ''The Drummer'' (1716) ===
[[File:Carl Spitzweg - Aschermittwoch.jpg|thumb|right|We are growing serious, and, &lt;br/&gt; Let me tell you, that's the very next step to being dull.]]

* Round-heads and Wooden-shoes are standing jokes.
** prologue, l. 8

* '''We are growing serious, and, &lt;br/&gt; Let me tell you, that's the very next step to being dull.'''
** Act IV, sc. vi

* Antidotes are what you take to prevent dotes.
** Act IV, sc. vi

* There is nothing more requisite in business than dispatch.
** Act V, sc. 1

{{disputed begin}}

== Disputed ==
* If you wish success in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother and hope your guardian genius.
** The earliest appearance of this proverb yet located is in ''Eliza Cook's Journal'' Vol. 11, (1854), p. 128, and the earliest attribution to Addison yet found is in Henry Southgate, ed., ''[https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_New_Era/XD8DAAAAYAAJ?hl=en&amp;gbpv=1&amp;dq=addison%20%22hope%20your%20guardian%20genius%22&amp;pg=PA1&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;bsq=addison%20%22hope%20your%20guardian%20genius%22 Many Thoughts of Many Minds]'' (1862), p. 600.

* What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.
** This appears as an anonymous proverb in ''Frank Leslie's Sunday Magazine'' Vol. XIII, (January - June 1883) edited by T. De Witt Talmage, and apparently only in recent years has it become attributed to Addison.

* If men would consider not so much where they differ, as wherein they agree, there would be far less of uncharitableness and angry feeling in the world.
** Attributed to &quot;Addison&quot; in ''A Dictionary of Thoughts : Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, both Ancient and Modern'' (1908) edited by [[Tryon Edwards]], p. 117, but this might be the later &quot;Mr. Addison&quot; who was credited with publishing ''Interesting Anecdotes, Memoirs, Allegories, Essays, and Poetical Fragments'' (1794).

* Tradition is an important help to history, but its statements should be carefully scrutinized before we rely on them.
** Attributed to &quot;Addison&quot; in ''A Dictionary of Thoughts : Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, both Ancient and Modern'' (1908) edited by [[Tryon Edwards]], p. 580, but this might be the later &quot;Mr. Addison&quot; who was credited with publishing ''Interesting Anecdotes, Memoirs, Allegories, Essays, and Poetical Fragments'' (1794).

* The greatest sweetener of human life is Friendship. To raise this to the highest pitch of enjoyment, is a secret which but few discover.
** As quoted in ''Hugs for Girlfriends : Stories, Sayings, and Scriptures to Encourage and Inspire'' (2001) by Philis Boultinghouse and LeAnn Weiss, p. 7; there seem to be no published sources available for this statement prior to 2001.

{{disputed end}}
{{Misattributed begin}}

== Misattributed ==
:&lt;small&gt;Alphabetized by author&lt;/small&gt;

* A little nonsense now and then &lt;br/&gt; Is relished by the wisest men.
** This appears to be an anonymous proverb of unknown authorship, only occasionally attributed to Addison.

* With regard to donations always expect the most from prudent people, who keep their own accounts.
** This is attributed to Addison in ''The Columbia Dictionary of Quotations'' (1993) with a citation of &quot;Economy and Benevolence&quot; in ''Interesting Anecdotes, Memoirs, Allegories, Essays, and Poetical Fragments'' (1794) but that was a publication of a contemporary &quot;Mr. Addison&quot; in several volumes, and not the poet. Vol. III of that publication (in 1796), on page 205, does contain these lines, but as part of an anonymous ancecdote.

* Reading is a basic tool in the living of a good life.
** The earliest attributions of this remark to anyone are in 1941, to [[Mortimer Adler]], in ''How To Read A Book'' (1940), although this actually a paraphrased shortening of a statement in his preface: Reading — as explained (and defended) in this book — is a basic tool in the living of a good life.

* When you are at Rome, live as Romans live.
** St. [[w:Ambrose|Ambrose]], ''Si fueris Romæ, Romano vivito more'' as translated in ''Latin Proverbs and Quotations'' (1869) by Alfred Henderson; very commonly paraphrased as &quot;When in Rome do as the Romans do&quot;.

* To say that authority, whether secular or religious, supplies no ground for morality is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction.
** Sir [[Alfred Jules Ayer]], in his &quot;The Meaning of Life&quot;, collected in ''The Meaning of Life, and Other Essays'' (1990)

* There is not any present moment that is unconnected with some future one. The life of every man is a continued chain of incidents, each link of which hangs upon the former. The transition from cause to effect, from event to event, is often carried on by secret steps, which our foresight cannot divine, and our sagacity is unable to trace. Evil may at some future period bring forth good; and good may bring forth evil, both equally unexpected.
** Very often attributed to Addison, this is in fact by [[w:Hugh Blair|Hugh Blair]], published in Blair's ''Sermons'' (1815), Vol. 1, pp. 196-197.

* To a man of pleasure every moment appears to be lost, which partakes not of the vivacity of amusement.
** Very often attributed to Addison, this is apparently a paraphrase of a statement by [[w:Hugh Blair|Hugh Blair]], published in Blair's ''Sermons'' (1815), Vol. 1, p. 219, where he mentions &quot;men of pleasure and the men of business&quot;, and that &quot;To the former every moment appears to be lost, which partakes not of the vivacity of amusement&quot;.

* The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for.
** Widely quoted as an Addison maxim this is actually by the American clergyman George Washington Burnap (1802-1859), published in Burnap's ''The Sphere and Duties of Woman : A Course of Lectures'' (1848), Lecture IV.

* Justice is an unassailable fortress, built on the brow of a mountain which cannot be overthrown by the violence of torrents, nor demolished by the force of armies.
** [[w:Moncure D. Conway|Moncure Daniel Conway]], in ''The Sacred Anthology (Oriental) : A Book of Ethnical Scriptures'' 5th edition (1877), p. 386; this statement appears beneath an Arabian proverb, and [[Upton Sinclair]] later attributed it to the ''[[Qur'an]]'', in ''The Cry for Justice : An Anthology of the Literature of Social Protest'' (1915), p. 475.

* It is only imperfection that complains of what is imperfect. The more perfect we are the more gentle and quiet we become towards the defects of others.
** [[François Fénelon]], in [http://books.google.com/books?id=qJ4rAAAAYAAJ ''Selections from the Writings of Fenelon: With an appendix, containing a Memoir of his Life'' (1829) as translated by A Lady (Eliza Lee Cabot Follen)], Letter 37, p. 189.

* He that would pass the latter part of life with honour and decency, must, when he is young, consider that he shall one day be old; and remember, when he is old, that he has once been young.
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'', no. 50 (8 September 1750); many of Johnson's remarks have been attributed to Addison

* No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority.
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'', no. 148 (17 August 1751)

* That he delights in the misery of others no man will confess, and yet what other motive can make a father cruel?
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'', no. 148 (17 August 1751)

* The unjustifiable severity of a parent is loaded with this aggravation, that those whom he injures are always in his sight.
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'' no. 148 (17 August 1751)

* Education...is a companion which no misfortunes can depress, no clime destroy, no enemy alienate, no despotism enslave: at home a friend, abroad an introduction, in solitude a solace, in society an ornament: it chastens vice, it guides virtue, it gives at once a grace and government to genius. Without it, what is man? A splendid slave, a reasoning savage.
** Though sometimes attributed to Addison, this actually comes from a speech delivered by the Irish lawyer Charles Phillips in 1817, in the case of O'Mullan v. M'Korkill, published in ''Irish Eloquence: The Speeches of the Celebrated Irish Orators'' (1834) pp. 91-92.

* They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.
** Attributed to Addison in ''(K)new Words: Redefine Your Communication'' (2005), by Gloria Pierre, p. 120, there are no indications of such a statement in Addison's writings.

* Plenty of people wish to become devout, but no one wishes to be humble.
** A translation of one of [[François de La Rochefoucauld|La Rochefoucauld]]'s maxims, published posthumously in 1693. In the original: &quot;''Force gens veulent être dévots, mais personne ne veut être humble.''&quot;

* The beloved of the Almighty are: the rich who have the humility of the poor, and the poor who have the magnanimity of the rich.
** [[Saadi]] as translated in ''The Gulistān : Or, Rose-garden, of Shek̲h̲ Muslihu'd-dīn Sādī of Shīrāz'' as translated by Edward Backhouse Eastwick (1880), p. 203

* Jesters do often prove prophets.
** Not found in Addison's works, and &quot;Jesters do oft prove prophets&quot; is actually [[William Shakespeare]], in [[King Lear|''King Lear'']], Act V, sc. iii

* The utmost extent of man's knowledge, is to know that he knows nothing.
** These words, sometimes attributed to Addison, are not found in his works, but in ''The Spectator'', no. 54, he translates the following words of [[Socrates]], as quoted in [[Plato]]'s ''Apology'': &quot;When I left him, I reasoned thus with myself: I am wiser than this man, for neither of us appears to know anything great and good; but '''he fancies he knows something, although he knows nothing; whereas I, as I do not know anything, so I do not fancy I do. In this trifling particular, then, I appear to be wiser than he, because I do not fancy I know what I do not know.'''&quot;

* The chief ingredients in the composition of those qualities that gain esteem and praise, are good nature, truth, good sense, and good breeding.
** [[William Temple]], in &quot;Heads Designed for an Essay on Conversation&quot; in ''The Works of Sir William Temple, Bart. in Four Volumes'' (1757), Vol. III, p. 547

* The union of the Word and the Mind produces that mystery which is called Life... Learn deeply of the Mind and its mystery, for therein lies the secret of immortality.
** &quot;[http://magdelene.net/Thoth%20Hermes%20Trismegistus.htm The Life and Teachings of Thoth Hermes Trismegistus]&quot;, in ''The Secret Teachings of All Ages'' (1928) by the Canadian occultist [[w:Manly Hall|Manly Hall]]; a few quotation websites credit this to Addison.
{{Misattributed end}}

== Quotes about Addison ==
* In our way to the Club to-night, when I regretted that [[Oliver Goldsmith|Goldsmith]] would, upon every occasion, endeavour to shine, by which he often exposed himself; Mr. Langton observed, that he was not like Addison, who was content with the fame of his writings, and did not aim also at excellency in conversation, for which he found himself unfit; and that he said to a lady, who complained of his having talked little in company, &quot;Madam, I have but nine-pence in ready money, but I can draw for a thousand pounds&quot;.
** [[James Boswell]], in ''The Life of Samuel Johnson'' (1791), mentioning a contrast made of Addison's character and that of Oliver Goldsmith, in his accounts of 7 May 1773

* The last place in London to which I will ask the reader to accompany me with Addison is one which has changed but little since his time, and has been of late very much in all our thoughts—I mean Westminster Abbey. He tells us that in his serious and pensive moods he very often walked there by himself, where the gloominess of the place, with the solemnity of the building, and the condition of the people who lie in it, filled his mind with a melancholy, or rather a thoughtfulness, that was not unpleasing.
** {{cite journal|author=James G. Frazer|authorlink=James George Frazer|title=London Life in the Time of Addison|date=January 1922|journal=The Quarterly Review|pages=18–32|url=https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=hvd.32044092529320;view=1up;seq=44}} quote p. 32

* In the formal treatises Addison has three subjects: religion, classical literature, and Whig politics. His greatest delight in literature was the study of Latin poetry; and he was himself a most skilful writer of Latin verse—he is indeed more a poet in Latin than in English.
** A. C. Guthkelch {{cite journal|title=The Prose Works of Joseph Addison|volume=225|pages=238–250|journal=[[w:Quarterly Review|The Quarterly Review]]|url=https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=chi.78280796;view=1up;seq=258}} January 1916, quote p. 242

* '''Whoever wishes to attain an English style, familiar, but not coarse, and elegant, but not ostentatious, must give his days and nights to the volumes of Addison.'''
** [[Samuel Johnson]], ''Lives of the Most Eminent English Poets'' (1779-81), &quot;Addison&quot;

* As a man, he may not have deserved the adoration which he received from those who, bewitched by his fascinating society, and indebted for all the comforts of life to his generous and delicate friendship, worshipped him nightly, in his favourite temple at Button’s. But, after full inquiry and impartial reflection, we have long been convinced that he deserved as much love and esteem as can be justly claimed by any of our infirm and erring race. Some blemishes may undoubtedly be detected in his character; but the more carefully it is examined, the more it will appear, to use the phrase of the old anatomists, sound in the noble parts, free from all taint of perfidy, of cowardice, of cruelty, of ingratitude, of envy. Men may easily be named, in whom some particular good disposition has been more conspicuous than in Addison. But the just harmony of qualities, the exact temper between the stern and the humane virtues, the habitual observance of every law, not only of moral rectitude, but of moral grace and dignity, distinguish him from all men who have been tried by equally strong temptations, and about whose conduct we possess equally full information.
** [[Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1st Baron Macaulay|Thomas Macaulay]] in &quot;Essay on the Life and Writings of Addison&quot;, in ''Essays'' Vol. V (1866) &lt;!-- Hurd and Houghton --&gt;

* Just men, by whom impartial laws were given; &lt;br/&gt; And saints who taught and led the way to heaven. &lt;br/&gt; Ne'er to these chambers, where the mighty rest, &lt;br/&gt; Since their foundation came a nobler guest;&lt;br /&gt;Nor e’er was to the bowers of bliss conveyed &lt;br/&gt; A fairer spirit or more welcome shade.
**[[Thomas Tickell]], ''On the Death of Mr. Addison'' (1721)

* '''If in the stage I seek to soothe my care, &lt;br/&gt; I meet his soul which breathes in [[w:Joseph_Addison#Cato|Cato]] there'''; &lt;br/&gt; If pensive to the rural shades I rove, &lt;br/&gt; His shape o'ertakes me in the lonely grove; &lt;br/&gt; 'Twas there of just and good he reasoned strong, &lt;br/&gt; Cleared some great truth, or raised some serious song: &lt;br/&gt; There patient showed us the wise course to steer, &lt;br/&gt; A candid censor, and a friend severe; &lt;br/&gt; '''There taught us how to live; and (oh, too high &lt;br/&gt; The price for knowledge!) taught us how to die.'''
**[[Thomas Tickell]], ''On the Death of Mr. Addison'' (1721)

*The prose of Whig and Tory polemics contained a larger proportion of stuff destined to endure: Swift and Addison,as journalists spoke to the their day but have been overheard by the ages.
**[[G. M. Trevelyan]].&quot;England Under Queen Anne, Blenheim&quot;, Fontana Library,1965, Page 100

*The first ''English'' Writer who compos'd a regular Tragedy and infus'd a Spirit of Elegance thro' every Part of it, was the illustrious Mr. ''Addison''. His C&lt;small&gt;ATO&lt;/small&gt; is a Master-piece both with regard to the Diction, and to the Beauty and Harmony of the Numbers. The Character of ''Cato'' is, in my Opinion, vastly superiour to that of ''Cornelia'' in the P&lt;small&gt;OMPEY&lt;/small&gt; of ''Corneille'': For ''Cato'' is great without any Thing like Fustian, and ''Cornelia'', who besides is not a necessary Character, tends sometimes to bombast. Mr. ''Addison'''s ''Cato'' appears to me the greatest Character that was ever brought upon any Stage, but then the rest of them don't correspond to the Dignity of it: And this dramatic Piece so excellently well writ, is disfigur'd by a dull Love Plot, which spreads a certain Languor over the whole, that quite murders it.
**[[Voltaire]], ''Letters Concerning the English Nation'' (1733), pp. 178-179

* He dismissed his physicians, and with them all hopes of life. But with his hopes of life he dismissed not his concern for the living, but sent for a youth nearly related and finely accomplished, but not above being the better for good impressions from a dying friend. He came; but, life now glimmering in the socket, the dying friend was silent. After a decent and proper pause, the youth said, &quot;Dear sir, you sent for me: I believe and I hope that you have some commands; I shall hold them most sacred.&quot; May distant ages not only hear, but feel, the reply! Forcibly grasping the youth's hand, he softly said, &quot;See in what peace a Christian can die!&quot; He spoke with difficulty and soon expired. Through grace Divine, how great is man!
** [[Edward Young]] in [http://books.google.com/books?id=foM1AAAAMAAJ ''Conjectures on Original Composition'' (1759)]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Wikisource author}}
* [http://www.accd.edu/sac/english/bailey/addison.htm Joseph Addison page at San Antonio College]
* [http://eir.library.utoronto.ca/rpo/display/poet2.html Selected poetry at the University of Toronto]
* [http://eee.uci.edu/~papyri/Addison/ Prose and poetry of Addison] (Latin only)
* [http://www.constitution.org/addison/cato_play.htm The play ''Cato'' online] This play was one of [[George Washington]]'s favorites.

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      <text bytes="67217" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Joseph Addison by Sir Godfrey Kneller, Bt cleaned.jpg|thumb|right|I shall endeavor to enliven morality with wit, and to temper wit with morality.]]
[[File:Tenniel Saint Cecilia.jpg|thumb|right|Music, the greatest good that mortals know,&lt;br/&gt;And all of heaven we have below.]]
'''[[w:Joseph Addison|Joseph Addison]]''' ([[May 1]] [[1672]] – [[June 17]] [[1719]]) was an English politician and writer. His name is often remembered in tandem with that of his friend, [[Richard Steele]], with whom he founded ''[[w:The Spectator (1711)|The Spectator]]'' magazine.

== Quotes ==
[[File:Nicolas Poussin - Sainte Cécile.jpg|thumb|right|Music religious heat inspires, &lt;br/&gt;It wakes the soul, and lifts it high]]
[[File:Paradiso Canto 31.jpg|thumb|right|Keep up the loud harmonious song, &lt;br/&gt; And imitate the blest above, &lt;br/&gt; In joy, and harmony, and love.]]
[[File:Waterhouse,_John_William_-_Saint_Cecilia_-_1895.jpg|thumb|right|Let echo, too, perform her part, &lt;br/&gt;Prolonging every note with art]]
[[File:Albi - Sainte-Cécile - martyre de Sainte Cécile.jpg|thumb|right|A thousand trills and quivering sounds &lt;br/&gt;In airy circles o'er us fly, &lt;br/&gt;Till, wafted by a gentle breeze, &lt;br/&gt;They faint and languish by degrees, &lt;br/&gt;And at a distance die.]]
[[File:Egg Nebula.jpg|thumb|right|Where have my ravish'd senses been! &lt;br/&gt; What joys, what wonders, have I seen!]]
[[File:AnttlersNewM45.jpg|thumb|right|Every star, and every pow'r, &lt;br/&gt; Look down on this important hour]]
[[File:M51 whirlpool galaxy black hole.jpg|thumb|right|Should the whole frame of Nature round him break, &lt;br/&gt; In ruin and confusion hurled, &lt;br/&gt; He, unconcerned, would hear the mighty crack, &lt;br/&gt; And stand secure amidst a falling world.]]
[[File:Arches westminster abbey.jpg|thumb|right|When I consider rival wits placed side by side, or the holy men that divided the world with their contests and disputes, I reflect with sorrow and astonishment on the little competitions, factions, and debates of mankind.]]
[[File:Joseph Addison (1672-1719).jpg|thumb|right|There is no greater sign of a general decay of virtue in a nation, than a want of zeal in its inhabitants for the good of their country.]]

* '''Music, the greatest good that mortals know,&lt;br/&gt;And all of heaven we have below.'''
** ''Song for [[w:Saint Cecilia|St. Cecilia]]'s Day'' (1692), st. 3

* '''Music religious heat inspires, &lt;br/&gt;It wakes the soul, and lifts it high''', &lt;br/&gt;And wings it with sublime desires, &lt;br/&gt;And fits it to bespeak the Deity.
** ''Song for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1692), st. 4

* '''When time itself shall be no more, &lt;br/&gt; And all things in confusion hurl'd, &lt;br/&gt; Music shall then exert it's power, &lt;br/&gt; And sound survive the ruins of the world''': &lt;br/&gt; Then saints and angels shall agree &lt;br/&gt; In one eternal jubilee: &lt;br/&gt; '''All Heaven shall echo with their hymns divine, &lt;br/&gt; And God himself with pleasure see &lt;br/&gt; The whole creation in a chorus join.'''
** ''Song for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1692)

* '''Consecrate the place and day &lt;br/&gt; To music and Cecilia. &lt;br/&gt; Let no rough winds approach, nor dare &lt;br/&gt; Invade the hallow'd bounds, &lt;br/&gt; Nor rudely shake the tuneful air, &lt;br/&gt; Nor spoil the fleeting sounds.''' &lt;br/&gt; Nor mournful sigh nor groan be heard, &lt;br/&gt; But gladness dwell on every tongue; &lt;br/&gt; Whilst all, with voice and strings prepar'd, &lt;br/&gt; '''Keep up the loud harmonious song, &lt;br/&gt; And imitate the blest above, &lt;br/&gt; In joy, and harmony, and love.'''
** ''Song for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1692)

* On you, my lord, with anxious fear I wait, &lt;br/&gt; And from your judgment must expect my fate.
** ''A Poem to His Majesty'' (1695), l. 21

* '''Let echo, too, perform her part, &lt;br/&gt;Prolonging every note with art'''; &lt;br/&gt;And in a low expiring strain, &lt;br/&gt;Play all the concert o'er again.
** ''Ode for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1699), st. 4

* A thousand trills and quivering sounds &lt;br/&gt;In airy circles o'er us fly, &lt;br/&gt;Till, wafted by a gentle breeze, &lt;br/&gt;They faint and languish by degrees, &lt;br/&gt;And at a distance die.
** ''Ode on St. Cecilia's Day'' (1699), st. 6

* For wheresoe'er I turn my ravished eyes, &lt;br/&gt; Gay gilded scenes and shining prospects rise, &lt;br/&gt; Poetic fields encompass me around, &lt;br/&gt; And still I seem to tread on classic ground.
** ''A Letter from Italy'', to the Right Honourable Charles, Lord Halifax (1701)

* Fain would I Raphael's godlike art rehearse, &lt;br/&gt; And show th' immortal labours in my verse, &lt;br/&gt; Where from themingled strength of shade and light &lt;br/&gt; '''A new creation rises to my sight''', &lt;br/&gt; Such heavenly figures from his pencil flow, &lt;br/&gt; So warm with life his blended colours glow. &lt;br/&gt; From theme to theme with secret pleasure tost, &lt;br/&gt; Amidst the soft variety I 'm lost: &lt;br/&gt; Here pleasing airs my ravish'd soul confound &lt;br/&gt; With circling notes and labyrinths of sound; &lt;br/&gt; Here domes and temples rise in distant views, &lt;br/&gt; And opening palaces invite my Muse.
** ''A Letter from Italy'' (1703)

* When hosts of foes with foes engage, &lt;br/&gt; And round th' anointed hero rage, &lt;br/&gt; The cleaving fauchion I misguide, &lt;br/&gt; And turn the feather'd shaft aside.
** Second Angel, in ''Rosamond'' (c. 1707), Act III, sc. i

* '''Where have my ravish'd senses been! &lt;br/&gt; What joys, what wonders, have I seen!''' &lt;br/&gt; The scene yet stands before my eye, &lt;br/&gt; A thousand glorious deeds that lie &lt;br/&gt; In deep futurity obscure, &lt;br/&gt; Fights and triumphs immature, &lt;br/&gt; '''Heroes immers'd in time's dark womb, &lt;br/&gt; Ripening for mighty years to come, &lt;br/&gt; Break forth, and, to the day display'd, &lt;br/&gt; My soft inglorious hours upbraid. &lt;br/&gt; Transported with so bright a scheme, &lt;br/&gt; My waking life appears a dream.'''
** Henry in ''Rosamond'' (c. 1707), Act III, sc. i

* '''Every star, and every pow'r, &lt;br/&gt; Look down on this important hour''': &lt;br/&gt; Lend your protection and defence &lt;br/&gt; Every guard of innocence! &lt;br/&gt; Help me my Henry to assuage, &lt;br/&gt; To gain his love or bear his rage. &lt;br/&gt; '''Mysterious love, uncertain treasure,&lt;br/&gt;Hast thou more of pain or pleasure!&lt;br/&gt;Chill'd with tears,&lt;br/&gt;Kill'd with fears,&lt;br/&gt;Endless torments dwell about thee:&lt;br/&gt;Yet who would live, and live without thee!'''
** Queen Elinor in ''Rosamond'' (c. 1707), Act III, sc. ii

*The ''French'' are certainly the most implacable, and the most dangerous Enemys of the ''British'' Nation. Their Form of Government, their Religion, their Jealousy of the ''British'' Power, as well as their Prosecutions of Commerce, and Pursuits of [[w:Universal monarchy|Universal Monarchy]], will fix them for ever in their Animosities and Aversions towards us, and make them catch at all Opportunities of subverting our Constitution, destroying our Religion, ruining our Trade, and sinking the Figure which we make among the Nations of ''Europe''...&lt;br&gt;As we are thus in a natural State of War, if I may so call it, with the ''French'' Nation; it is our Misfortune, that they are not only the most inveterate, but most formidable of our Enemies; and have the greatest Power, as well as the strongest Inclination to ruin us. 
**''The Present State of the War, and the Necessity of an Augmentation, Consider'd'' (1708), pp. 1-2

*The ''French'' King hath often enter'd on several expensive Projects, on purpose to dissipate the Wealth that is continually gathering in his Coffers in times of peace... But if he once engrosses the commerce of the ''Spanish Indies'', whatever Quantities of Gold and Silver stagnate in his private coffers, there will be still enough to carry on the Circulation among his Subjects. By this means in a short space of time he may heap up greater Wealth than all the Princes of ''Europe'' join'd together; and in the present Constitution of the World, '''Wealth and Power are but different Names for the same thing.''' Let us therefore suppose that after eight or ten Years of Peace, he hath a mind to infringe any of his Treaties, or invade a neighbouring State; to revive the pretensions of ''Spain'' upon ''Portugal'', or attempt the taking those Places which were granted us for our Security; what Resistance, what Opposition can we make to so formidable an Enemy? Shou'd the same Alliance rise against him that is now in War with him, what cou'd we hope for from it, at a time when the States engag'd in it will be comparatively weaken'd, and the Enemy who is now able to keep them at a stand, will have receiv'd so many new Accessions of Strength.
**''The Present State of the War, and the Necessity of an Augmentation, Consider'd'' (1708), pp. 11-12

* '''The man resolved, and steady to his trust, &lt;br/&gt; Inflexible to ill, and obstinately just, &lt;br/&gt; May the rude rabble's insolence despise''', &lt;br/&gt; Their senseless clamours and tumultuous cries; &lt;br/&gt; The tyrant's fierceness he beguiles, &lt;br/&gt; And the stern brow, and the harsh voice defies, &lt;br/&gt; And with superior greatness smiles.
** Translation of ''[[Horace]]'', ''Odes'', Book III, ode iii

* '''Should the whole frame of Nature round him break, &lt;br/&gt; In ruin and confusion hurled, &lt;br/&gt; He, unconcerned, would hear the mighty crack, &lt;br/&gt; And stand secure amidst a falling world.'''
** Translation of ''[[Horace]]'', ''Odes'', Book III, ode iii

* When I read the several dates of the tombs, of some that died yesterday, and some six hundred years ago, I consider that great day when we shall all of us be contemporaries, and make our appearance together.
** ''Thoughts in Westminster Abbey'' (1711)

* '''When I read the epitaphs of the beautiful, every inordinate desire goes out'''; when I meet with the grief of parents upon a tombstone, my heart melts with compassion; when I see the tomb of the parents themselves, I consider the vanity of grieving for those whom we must quickly follow: '''when I see kings lying by those who deposed them, when I consider rival wits placed side by side, or the holy men that divided the world with their contests and disputes, I reflect with sorrow and astonishment on the little competitions, factions, and debates of mankind.'''
** ''Thoughts in Westminster Abbey'' (1711)

* '''See in what peace a Christian can die!'''
** Last words, to his stepson (1719), as quoted in ''Conjectures on Original Composition'' (1759) by [[w:Edward Young|Edward Young]]
** Variants:
** '''I have sent for you that you may see in what peace a Christian may die.'''
*** As quoted in ''The R. I. Schoolmaster'', Vol. V (1859), edited by William A. Mowry and Henry Clark, p. 71
** I have sent for you that you may see how a Christian may die.
*** As quoted in ''Famous Sayings and their Authors'' (1906) by Edward Latham

=== ''The Campaign'' (1704) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://addison.classicauthors.net/campaign/ Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:UK Royal Coat of Arms.svg|thumb|right|Great souls by instinct to each other turn, &lt;br/&gt; Demand alliance, and in friendship burn]]
[[File:Battle of Tolbiac.jpg|thumb|right|Nations with nations mix'd confus'dly die, &lt;br/&gt; And lost in one promiscuous carnage lie.]]
[[File:MichaelKi.jpg|thumb|right|Calm and serene he drives the furious blast; &lt;br/&gt;And, pleas'd th' Almighty's orders to perform, &lt;br/&gt;Rides in the whirlwind, and directs the storm.]]

* '''Great souls by instinct to each other turn, &lt;br/&gt; Demand alliance, and in friendship burn'''; &lt;br/&gt; A sudden friendship, while with stretched-out rays &lt;br/&gt; They meet each other, mingling blaze with blaze. &lt;br/&gt; Polished in courts, and hardened in the field, &lt;br/&gt; Renowned for conquest, and in council skilled, &lt;br/&gt; '''Their courage dwells not in a troubled flood &lt;br/&gt; Of mounting spirits, and fermenting blood: &lt;br/&gt; Lodged in the soul, with virtue overruled, &lt;br/&gt; Inflamed by reason, and by reason cooled, &lt;br/&gt; In hours of peace content to be unknown. &lt;br/&gt; And only in the field of battle shown: &lt;br/&gt; To souls like these, in mutual friendship joined, &lt;br/&gt; Heaven dares intrust the cause of humankind.'''
** Line 101

* '''Nations with nations mix'd confus'dly die, &lt;br/&gt; And lost in one promiscuous carnage lie.'''
** Line 152

* Unbounded courage and compassion join'd, &lt;br/&gt; Tempering each other in the victor's mind, &lt;br/&gt; Alternately proclaim him good and great, &lt;br/&gt; And make the hero and the man complete.
** Line 219

* '''So when an angel by divine command &lt;br/&gt;With rising tempests shakes a guilty land, &lt;br/&gt;Such as of late o'er pale Britannia passed, &lt;br/&gt;Calm and serene he drives the furious blast; &lt;br/&gt;And, pleas'd th' Almighty's orders to perform, &lt;br/&gt;Rides in the whirlwind, and directs the storm.'''
** Line 287, the word &quot;passed&quot; was here originally spelt &quot;past&quot; but modern renditions have updated the spelling for clarity. An alteration of these lines occurs in [[Alexander Pope]]'s satire ''[[The Dunciad|The Dunciad]]'', Book III, line 264, where he describes a contemporary theatre manager as an &quot;Angel of Dulness&quot;:
:: Immortal Rich! how calm he sits at ease, &lt;br/&gt; Midst snows of paper, and fierce hail of pease; &lt;br/&gt; And proud his mistress' order to perform, &lt;br/&gt; Rides in the whirlwind and directs the storm.

* O Dormer, how can I behold thy fate, &lt;br/&gt;And not the wonders of thy youth relate; &lt;br/&gt;How can I see the gay, the brave, the young, &lt;br/&gt;Fall in the cloud of war, and lie unsung! &lt;br/&gt;In joys of conquest he resigns his breath, &lt;br/&gt;And, filled with England's glory, smiles in death.
** Line 309

* '''Rais'd of themselves, their genuine charms they boast, &lt;br/&gt; And those who paint them truest praise them most.'''
** last lines

=== ''Cato, A Tragedy'' (1713)===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.constitution.org/addison/cato_play.htm Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Lightning8 - NOAA.jpg|thumb|right|Is there not some chosen curse, &lt;br/&gt; Some hidden thunder in the stores of heaven, &lt;br/&gt; Red with uncommon wrath, to blast the man &lt;br/&gt; Who owes his greatness to his country's ruin?]]
[[File:Marcus Porcius Cato.jpg|thumb|right|'Tis not in mortals to command success, &lt;br/&gt; But we'll do more, Sempronius; we'll deserve it.]]
[[File:Cato Utica Louvre LP2090.jpg|thumb|right|A day, an hour, of virtuous liberty &lt;br/&gt; Is worth a whole eternity in bondage.]]
[[File:Guillaume Guillon Lethière-The Death of Cato of Utica, 1795.jpg|thumb|right|What pity is it &lt;br/&gt; That we can die but once to serve our country!]]

* '''Is there not some chosen curse, &lt;br/&gt; Some hidden thunder in the stores of heaven, &lt;br/&gt; Red with uncommon wrath, to blast the man &lt;br/&gt; Who owes his greatness to his country's ruin?'''
** Act I, scene i

* The dawn is overcast, the morning lowers, &lt;br/&gt; And heavily in clouds brings on the day, &lt;br/&gt; The great, the important day, &lt;br/&gt; Big with the fate Of Cato, and of Rome.
** Act I, scene i

* Thy steady temper, Portius, &lt;br/&gt; Can look on guilt, rebellion, fraud, and Cæsar, &lt;br/&gt; In the calm lights of mild philosophy.
** Act I, scene i

* Love is not to be reason'd down, or lost&lt;br /&gt;In high ambition, and a thirst of greatness;&lt;br /&gt;'Tis second life, it grows into the soul,&lt;br /&gt;Warms every vein, and beats in every pulse.
** Act I, scene i

* ''' 'Tis not in mortals to command success, &lt;br/&gt; But we'll do more, Sempronius; we'll deserve it.'''
** Act I, scene ii

* Thy father's merit sets thee up to view, &lt;br/&gt; And shows thee in the fairest point of light, &lt;br/&gt; To make thy virtues, or thy faults, conspicuous.
** Act I, scene ii

* Oh! think what anxious moments pass between &lt;br/&gt; The birth of plots, and their last fatal periods, &lt;br/&gt; Oh! 'tis a dreadful interval of time, &lt;br/&gt; Filled up with horror all, and big with death!
** Act I, scene iii

* '''Better to die ten thousand deaths, &lt;br/&gt; Than wound my honour.'''
** Act I, scene iv

* If the following day he chance to find &lt;br/&gt; A new repast, or an untasted spring, &lt;br/&gt; Blesses his stars, and thinks it luxury.
** Act I, scene iv

* 'Tis [[pride]], rank pride, and haughtiness of soul: &lt;br/&gt; I think the Romans call it Stoicism.
** Act I, scene iv

* Were you with these, my prince, you'd soon forget &lt;br/&gt; The pale, unripened beauties of the north.
** Act I, scene iv

* Beauty soon grows familiar to the lover, &lt;br/&gt; Fades in his eye, and palls upon the sense.
** Act I, scene iv

* '''My voice is still for war. &lt;br/&gt; Gods! Can a Roman senate long debate &lt;br/&gt; Which of the two to choose, slavery or death?''' &lt;br/&gt; No, let us rise at once, &lt;br/&gt; Gird on our swords, and, &lt;br/&gt; At the head of our remaining troops, attack the foe, &lt;br/&gt; Break through the thick array of his throng'd legions, &lt;br/&gt; And charge home upon him. &lt;br/&gt; '''Perhaps some arm, more lucky than the rest, &lt;br/&gt; May reach his heart, and free the world from bondage.'''
** Act II, scene i

* '''A day, an hour, of virtuous liberty &lt;br/&gt; Is worth a whole eternity in bondage.'''
** Act II, scene i

* Great Pompey's shade complains that we are slow, &lt;br/&gt; And Scipio's ghost walks unavenged amongst us!
** Act II, scene i

* '''Young men soon give and soon forget affronts; &lt;br/&gt; Old age is slow in both.'''
** Act II, scene v

* The friendships of the world are oft &lt;br/&gt; Confederacies in vice, or leagues of pleasure; &lt;br/&gt; Ours has severest virtue for its basis, &lt;br/&gt; And such a friendship ends not but with life.
** Act III, scene i

* When love's well-timed 'tis not a fault of love; &lt;br/&gt; The strong, the brave, the virtuous, and the wise, &lt;br/&gt; Sink in the soft captivity together.
** Act III, scene i

* Loveliest of women! heaven is in thy soul, &lt;br/&gt; Beauty and virtue shine forever round thee, &lt;br/&gt; Bright'ning each other! thou art all divine!
** Act III, scene ii

* '''Talk not of love: thou never knew'st its force.'''
** Act III, scene ii

* To my confusion, and eternal grief, &lt;br/&gt; I must approve the sentence that destroys me.
** Act III, scene ii

* See they suffer death, &lt;br/&gt; But in their deaths remember they are men, &lt;br/&gt; '''Strain not the laws to make their tortures grievous.'''
** Act III, scene v

* Why wilt thou add to all the griefs I suffer &lt;br/&gt; Imaginary ills, and fancy'd tortures?
** Act IV, scene i

* When love once pleas admission to our hearts, &lt;br/&gt; (In spite of all the virtue we can boast), &lt;br/&gt; The woman that deliberates is lost.
** Variant: &quot;When love once pleads admission to our hearts...&quot;
** Act IV, scene i. The last line has often been misreported as &quot;He who hesitates is lost&quot;, a sentiment inspired by it but not penned by Addison. See Paul F. Boller, Jr., and John George, ''They Never Said It: A Book of Fake Quotes, Misquotes, &amp; Misleading Attributions'' (1989), p. 3

* I will indulge my sorrows, and give way &lt;br/&gt; To all the pangs and fury of despair.
** Act IV, scene iii

* Curse on his virtues! they've undone his country.
** Act IV, scene iv

* How beautiful is death, when earn'd by virtue! &lt;br/&gt; Who would not be that youth? '''What pity is it &lt;br/&gt; That we can die but once to serve our country!'''
** Act IV, scene iv

* '''Content thyself to be obscurely good. &lt;br/&gt; When vice prevails, and impious men bear sway, &lt;br/&gt; The post of honor is a private station.'''
** Act IV, scene iv

* O ye powers that search &lt;br/&gt; The heart of man, and weigh his inmost thoughts, &lt;br/&gt; If I have done amiss, impute it not! &lt;br/&gt; The best may err, but you are good.
** Act IV, scene iv

* Thanks to the gods! my boy has done his duty.
** Act IV, scene iv

* The honors of this world, what are they &lt;br/&gt; But puff, and emptiness, and peril of falling?
** Act IV, scene iv

* The stars shall fade away, the sun himself &lt;br/&gt; Grow dim with age, and nature sink in years, &lt;br/&gt; But thou shalt flourish in immortal youth, &lt;br/&gt; Unhurt amidst the wars of elements, &lt;br/&gt; The wrecks of matter, and the crush of worlds.
** Act V, scene i

[[File:Halo in cirrostratus 1.jpg|thumb|right|If there's a power above us, &lt;br/&gt; (And that there is all nature cries aloud &lt;br/&gt; Through all her works) he must delight in virtue.]]
* '''If there's a power above us, &lt;br/&gt; (And that there is all nature cries aloud &lt;br/&gt; Through all her works) he must delight in virtue.'''
** Act V, scene i

* It must be so — [[Plato]], thou reasonest well! &lt;br/&gt; Else whence this pleasing hope, this fond desire, &lt;br/&gt; This longing after immortality? &lt;br/&gt; Or whence this secret dread, and inward horror, &lt;br/&gt; O falling into nought? Why shrinks the soul &lt;br/&gt; Back on herself, and startles at destruction? &lt;br/&gt; 'Tis the divinity that stirs within us; &lt;br/&gt; ''' 'Tis heaven itself, that points out an hereafter, &lt;br/&gt; And intimates eternity to man.'''
** Act V, scene i

[[File:Sun-halo-roscoff.jpg|thumb|right|Nature does nothing without purpose or uselessly.]]
* '''Eternity! thou pleasing dreadful thought!''' &lt;br/&gt; Through what variety of untried being, &lt;br/&gt; Through what new scenes and changes must we pass!
** Act V, scene i

* I'm weary of conjectures,—this must end 'em. &lt;br/&gt; Thus am I doubly armed: '''my death and life, &lt;br/&gt; My bane and antidote, are both before me''': &lt;br/&gt; This in a moment brings me to an end; &lt;br/&gt; But this informs me I shall never die. &lt;br/&gt; The soul, secured in her existence, smiles &lt;br/&gt; At the drawn dagger, and defies its point. &lt;br/&gt; The stars shall fade away, the sun himself &lt;br/&gt; Grow dim with age, and Nature sink in years; &lt;br/&gt; But thou shalt flourish in immortal youth, &lt;br/&gt; Unhurt amidst the war of elements, &lt;br/&gt; The wrecks of matter, and the crush of worlds.
** Act V, scene i

* '''Nature does nothing without purpose or uselessly.'''
** Act V, scene i

* The ideal man bears the accidents of life &lt;br/&gt; With dignity and grace, the best of circumstances.
** Act V, scene i

* '''The soul, secured in her existence, smiles &lt;br/&gt; At the drawn dagger, and defies its point.'''
** Act V, scene i

* What means this heaviness that hangs upon me? &lt;br/&gt; This lethargy that creeps through all my senses? &lt;br/&gt; Nature, oppress'd and harrass'd out with care, &lt;br/&gt; Sinks down to rest.
** Act V, scene i

* Sweet are the slumbers of the virtuous man.
** Act V, scene iv

* '''From hence, let fierce contending nations know, &lt;br/&gt; What dire effects from civil discord flow.'''
** Act V, scene iv

=== ''The Guardian'' (1713) ===
[[File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|thumb|right|There in no virtue so truly great and godlike as justice.]]

* '''There is no virtue so truly great and godlike as justice.'''
** No. 99

* To be perfectly just is an attribute in the divine nature; to be so to the utmost of our abilities, is the glory of man.
** No. 99

* '''Justice discards party, friendship, kindred, and is therefore always represented as blind.'''
** No. 99

* '''Knowledge is, indeed, that which, next to virtue, truly and essentially raises one man above another.'''
** No. 111

* When I read the rules of criticism, I immediately inquire after the works of the author who has written them, and by that means discover what it is he likes in a composition.
** No. 115

* Courage that grows from constitution very often forsakes a man when he has occasion for it, and when it is only a kind of instinct in the Soul breaks out on all occasions without judgment or discretion. That courage which proceeds from the sense of our duty, and from the fear of offending Him that made us, acts always in a uniform manner, and according to the dictates of right reason.
** No. 117

* Blessings may appear under the shape of pains, losses and disappointments; but let him have patience, and he will see them in their proper figures.
** No. 117

* '''A good conscience is to the soul what health is to the body'''; '''it preserves a constant ease and serenity within us''', and more than countervails all the calamities and afflictions which can possibly befall us.
** No. 135

* The sense of honour is of so fine and delicate a nature, that it is only to be met with in minds which are naturally noble, or in such as have been cultivated by good examples, or a refined education.
** No. 161

* Charity is a virtue of the heart, and not of the hands.
** No. 166

* '''Gifts and alms are the expressions, not the essence, of this virtue.'''
** No. 166

=== ''[[w:The Spectator (1711)|The Spectator]]'' (1711–1714) ===
[[File:The Spectator 1788.jpg|thumb|right|I live in the world rather as a spectator of mankind than as one of the species.]]
[[File:SépultureCathelineau.JPG|thumb|right|The Fear of Death often proves Mortal, and sets People on Methods to save their Lives, which infallibly destroy them.]]

* '''If I can any way contribute to the diversion or improvement of the country in which I live, I shall leave it, when I am summoned out of it, with the secret satisfaction of thinking that I have not lived in vain.'''
** No. 1 (1 March 1711)

* '''Thus I live in the world rather as a spectator of mankind than as one of the species.'''
** No. 1 (1 March 1711)

* To be exempt from the passions with which others are tormented, is the only pleasing solitude.
** No. 4 (5 March 1711)

* I would... earnestly advise them for their good to order this paper to be punctually served up, and to be looked upon as a part of the tea equipage.
** No. 10 (11 March 1711)

* '''I shall endeavor to enliven morality with wit, and to temper wit with morality.'''
** No. 10 (11 March 1711)

* '''True happiness is of a retired nature, and an enemy to pomp and noise; it arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one's self, and in the next, from the friendship and conversation of a few select companions.'''
** No. 15 (March 17, 1711)

* '''That nothing is capable of being well set to Musick, that is not Nonsense.'''
** No. 18 (March 21, 1711)

* '''The Fear of Death often proves Mortal''', and sets People on Methods to save their Lives, which infallibly destroy them.
** No. 25 (29 March 1711)

* It is indeed very possible, that the Persons we laugh at may in the main of their Characters be much wiser Men than our selves; but if they would have us laugh at them, they must fall short of us in those Respects which stir up this Passion.
** No. 47 (24 April 1711)

* In all thy humours, whether grave or mellow, &lt;br/&gt; Thou 'rt such a touchy, testy, pleasant fellow, &lt;br/&gt; Hast so much wit and mirth and spleen about thee, &lt;br/&gt; There is no living with thee, nor without thee.
** No. 68 (18 May 1911)

* '''There is not a more unhappy being than a superannuated idol.'''
** No. 73 (24 May 1711)

* A man that has a taste of music, painting, or architecture, is like one that has another sense, when compared with such as have no relish of those arts.
** No. 93 (16 June 1711)

* '''Of all the diversions of life, there is none so proper to fill up its empty spaces as the reading of useful and entertaining authors.'''
** No. 94 (18 June 1711)

* There is not so variable a thing in Nature as a lady's head-dress.
** No. 98 (22 June 1711)

* &quot;Censure,&quot; says [[Jonathan Swift|a late ingenious author]], &quot;is the tax a man plays for being eminent.&quot; It is a folly for an eminent man to think of escaping it, and a weakness to be affected with it. '''All the illustrious persons of antiquity, and indeed of every age in the world, have passed through this fiery persecution. There is no defense against reproach but obscurity'''; it is a kind of comitant to greatness, as satires and invectives were an essential part of a Roman triumph.
** No. 101 (26 June 1711)

* '''If men of eminence are exposed to censure on one hand, they are as much liable to flattery on the other. If they receive reproaches which are not due to them, they likewise receive praises which they do not deserve.''' In a word, the man in a high post is never regarded with an indifferent eye, but always considered as a friend or an enemy. For this reason persons in great stations have seldom their true characters drawn till several years after their deaths. Their personal friendships and enmities must cease, and the parties they were engaged in be at an end, before their faults or their virtues can have justice done them. When writers have the least opportunity of knowing the truth, they are in the best disposition to tell it. &lt;br/&gt; It is therefore the privilege of posterity to adjust the characters of illustrious persons, and to set matters right between those antagonists who by their rivalry for greatness divided a whole age into factions.
** No. 101 (26 June 1711), this has sometimes been quoted as &quot;It is the privilege of posterity to set matters right between those antagonists who, by their rivalry for greatness, divided a whole age&quot;.

[[File:A Commonwealth Cross of Sacrifice or War Cross.jpg|thumb|right|Much might be said on both sides.]]
* [[Sunday]] clears away the rust of the whole week.
** No. 112 (9 July 1711)

* Exercise ferments the humors, casts them into their proper channels, throws off redundancies, and helps nature in those secret distributions, without which the body cannot subsist in its vigor, nor the soul act with cheerfulness.
** No. 115 (12 July 1711)

* When I consider the Question, Whether there are such Persons in the World as those we call Witches? my Mind is divided between the two opposite Opinions; or rather (to speak my Thoughts freely) I believe in general that there is, and has been such a thing as Witchcraft; but at the same time can give no Credit to any Particular Instance of it.
** No. 117 (14 July 1711)

* Animals in their generation are wiser than the sons of men; but their wisdom is confined to a few particulars, and lies in a very narrow compass.
** No. 120 (18 July 1711)

* The most violent appetites in all creatures are lust and hunger: the first is a perpetual call upon them to propogate their kind; the latter to preserve themselves.
** No. 120 (18 July 1711)

* '''Much might be said on both sides.'''
** No. 122 (20 July 1711)

* '''A man's first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart; his next to escape the censures of the world''': if the last interferes with the former, it ought to be entirely neglected; but otherwise there cannot be a greater satisfaction to an honest mind, than to see those approbations which it gives itself seconded by the applauses of the public: a man is more sure of his conduct, when the verdict which he passes upon his own behaviour is thus warranted and confirmed by the opinion of all that know him.
** On &quot;[[w:Roger de Coverley|Sir Roger]]&quot;, in No. 122 (20 July 1711)

* Authors have established it as a kind of rule, that a man ought to be dull sometimes; as the most severe reader makes allowances for many rests and nodding places in a voluminous writer.
** No. 124 (23 July 1711)

* A cloudy day or a little sunshine have as great an influence on many constitutions as the most real blessings or misfortunes.
** No. 162 (5 September 1711)

* Mutability of temper and inconsistency with ourselves is the greatest weakness of human nature.
** No. 162 (5 September 1711)

* The circumstance which gives authors an advantage above all these great masters, is this, that they can multiply their originals; or rather, can make copies of their works, to what number they please, which shall be as valuable as the originals themselves.
** No. 166 (10 September 1711)

* '''Books are the legacies that a great genius leaves to mankind''', which are delivered down from generation to generation, as presents to the posterity of those who are yet unborn.
** No. 166 (10 September 1711)

* Man is subject to innumerable pains and sorrows by the very condition of humanity, and yet, as if nature had not sown evils enough in life, we are continually adding grief to grief, and aggravating the common calamity by our cruel treatment of one another.
** No. 169 (13 September 1711)

* '''Good nature is more agreeable in conversation than wit, and gives a certain air to the countenance which is more amiable than beauty.'''
** No. 169 (13 September 1711)

* I have somewhere met with the epitaph of a charitable man, which has very much pleased me. I cannot recollect the words, but the sense of it is to this purpose; '''''What I spent I lost; what I possessed is left to others; what I gave away remains with me.'''''
** No. 177 (22 September 1711)

* I would fain ask one of these bigotted Infidels, supposing all the great Points of Atheism … were laid together and formed into a kind of Creed, according to the Opinions of the most celebrated Atheists; I say, supposing such a Creed as this were formed, and imposed upon any one People in the World, whether it would not require an infinitely greater Measure of Faith, than any Set of Articles which they so violently oppose.
** [http://archive.twoaspirinsandacomedy.com/spectator/spectator.php?line=185 No. 185] (2 October 1711).
** Often misquoted as &quot;To be an atheist requires an infinitely greater measure of faith than to receive all the great truths which atheism would deny.&quot;

* The man who will live above his present circumstances is in great danger of living in a little time much beneath them; or as the Italian proverb runs, &quot;The man who lives by hope, will die by hunger.&quot;
** No. 191 (9 October 1711)

* Were I to prescribe a rule for drinking, it should be formed upon a saying quoted by Sir [[William Temple]]: the first glass for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the fourth for mine enemies.
** No. 195 (13 October 1711)

[[File:Reconciliation by Vasconcellos, Coventry.jpg|thumb|right|A man must be excessively stupid, as well as uncharitable, who believes that there is no virtue but on his own side, and that there are not men as honest as himself who may differ from him in political principles.]]
* I consider an human soul without education like marble in the quarry, which shews none of its inherent beauties till the skill of the polisher fetches out the colours, makes the surface shine, and discovers every ornamental cloud, spot and vein that runs through the body of it.
** No. 215 (6 November 1711)

* What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to the human soul.
** No. 215 (6 November 1711)

* Discretion is a perfection of reason, and a guide to us in all the duties of life.
** No. 225 (17 November 1711)

* A just and reasonable modesty does not only recommend eloquence, but sets off every great talent which a man can be possessed of.
** No. 231 (24 November 1711)

* Mere bashfulness without merit is awkward; and merit without modesty, insolent. But modest merit has a double claim to acceptance, and generally meets with as many patrons as beholders.
** No. 231 (24 November 1711)

* Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue.
** No. 231 (24 November 1711)

* '''A man must be excessively stupid, as well as uncharitable, who believes that there is no virtue but on his own side, and that there are not men as honest as himself who may differ from him in political principles.'''
** No. 243 (8 December 1711)

[[File:Thanksgiving chapel interior.jpg|thumb|right|Some virtues are only seen in affliction and some in prosperity.]]
* '''What an absurd thing it is to pass over all the valuable parts of a man, and fix our attention on his infirmities.'''
** No. 249 (15 December 1711)

* Were not this desire of fame very strong, the difficulty of obtaining it, and the danger of losing it when obtained, would be sufficient to deter a man from so vain a pursuit.
** No. 255 (22 December 1711)

* Admiration is a very short-lived passion that immediately decays upon growing familiar with its object, unless it be still fed with fresh discoveries, and kept alive by a new perpetual succession of miracles rising up to its view.
** No. 256 (24 December 1711)
** Often only the first half of this statement is quoted

* Ambition raises a secret tumult in the soul, it inflames the mind, and puts it into a violent hurry of thought.
** No. 256 (24 December 1711)

* '''Some virtues are only seen in affliction and some in prosperity.'''
** No. 257 (25 December 1711)

* I have often thought, says Sir Roger, it happens very well that Christmas should fall out in the Middle of the Winter
** No. 269 (8 January 1712)

[[File:Double-alaskan-rainbow.jpg|thumb|right|Health and cheerfulness mutually beget each other.]]
* '''A true critic ought to dwell rather upon excellencies than imperfections, to discover the concealed beauties of a writer, and communicate to the world such things as are worth their observation.'''
** No. 291 (2 February 1712)

* These widows, sir, are the most perverse creatures in the world.
** No. 335 (25 March 1712)

* '''Death only closes a Man's Reputation, and determines it as good or bad.'''
** No. 349 (10 April 1712); famously seen on the brothel wall in the film ''[[w:Easy Rider|Easy Rider]]''.

* Mirth is like a flash of lightning, that breaks through a gloom of clouds, and glitters for a moment; cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind, and fills it with a steady and perpetual serenity.
** No. 381 (17 May 1712)

* Sir Roger made several reflections on the greatness of the British Nation; as, that one Englishman could beat three Frenchmen; that we could never be in danger of Popery so long as we took care of our fleet; that the Thames was the noblest river in Europe...with many other honest prejudices which naturally cleave to the heart of a true Englishman.
** No. 383 (20 May 1712)

* '''Cheerfulness is...the best promoter of health.'''
** No. 387 (24 May 1712)

* '''Health and cheerfulness mutually beget each other.'''
** No. 387 (24 May 1712)

[[File:CL0024+17.jpg|thumb|right|The spacious firmament on high, &lt;br/&gt; With all the blue ethereal sky, &lt;br/&gt; And spangled heavens, a shining frame, &lt;br/&gt; Their great Original proclaim.]]
* Everything that is new or uncommon raises a pleasure in the imagination, because it fills the soul with an agreeable surprise, gratifies its curiosity, and gives it an idea of which it was not before possessed.
** No. 412 (23 June 1712)

* The Lord my pasture shall prepare, &lt;br/&gt; And feed me with a shepherd's care; &lt;br/&gt; His presence shall my wants supply, &lt;br/&gt; And guard me with a watchful eye.
** No. 444 (26 July 1712)

* Our delight in any particular study, art, or science rises and improves in proportion to the application which we bestow upon it. Thus, what was at first an exercise becomes at length an entertainment.
** No. 447 (2 August 1712)

* When all thy mercies, O my God, &lt;br/&gt; My rising soul surveys, &lt;br/&gt; '''Transported with the view, I'm lost &lt;br/&gt; In wonder, love and praise.'''
** No. 453 (9 August 1712)

* '''The spacious firmament on high, &lt;br/&gt; With all the blue ethereal sky, &lt;br/&gt; And spangled heavens, a shining frame, &lt;br/&gt; Their great Original proclaim.'''
** No. 465, ''Ode'' (23 August 1712).
** Also in ''The Polite Arts'' (1749), Chap. XXI. &quot;Of Lyrick Poetry.&quot; 

* Soon as the evening shades prevail, &lt;br/&gt; The moon takes up the wondrous tale, &lt;br/&gt; And nightly to the listening earth &lt;br/&gt; Repeats the story of her birth; &lt;br/&gt; While all the stars that round her burn, &lt;br/&gt; And all the planets in their turn, &lt;br/&gt; Confirm the tidings as they roll, &lt;br/&gt; And spread the truth from pole to pole.
** No. 465, ''Ode'' (23 August 1712)

* What though no real voice nor sound &lt;br/&gt; Amid their radiant orbs be found ; &lt;br/&gt; In reason's ear they all rejoice, &lt;br/&gt; And utter forth a glorious voice, &lt;br/&gt; Forever singing as they shine, &lt;br/&gt; &quot;The Hand that made us divine.&quot;
** No. 465, ''Ode'' (23 August 1712)

* A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
** No. 475 (4 September 1712)

* Method is not less requisite in ordinary conversation than in writing, provided a man would talk to make himself understood.
** No. 476 (5 September 1712)

* Our disputants put me in mind of the skuttle fish, that when he is unable to extricate himself, blackens all the water about him, till he becomes invisible.
** No. 476 (5 September 1712)

* Irregularity and want of method are only supportable in men of great learning or genius, who are often too full to be exact, and therefore choose to throw down their pearls in heaps before the reader, rather than be at the pains of stringing them.
** No. 476 (5 September 1712)

[[File:Georges Seurat 019.jpg|thumb|right|Man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter.]]
* '''I value my garden more for being full of blackbirds than cherries, and very frankly give them fruit for their songs.'''
** No. 477 (6 September 1712)

* The fraternity of the henpecked.
** No. 482 (12 September 1712)

* '''If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter.'''
** No. 494 (26 September 1712)

* There is nothing which we receive with so much reluctance as advice.
** No. 512 (17 October 1712)

* '''If we hope for what we are not likely to possess, we act and think in vain, and make life a greater dream and shadow than it really is.'''
** No. 535 (13 November 1712)

* An ostentatious man will rather relate a blunder or an absurdity he has committed, than be debarred from talking of his own dear person.
** No. 562 (2 July 1714)

* '''A man should always consider how much he has more than he wants.'''
** No. 574 (30 July 1714)

* '''Upon the whole, a contented mind is the greatest blessing a man can enjoy in this world.'''
** No. 574 (30 July 1714)

* We are always doing something for Posterity, but I would fain see Posterity do something for us.
** No. 587 (20 August 1714)

=== ''The Tatler'' (1711–1714) ===
* Men may change their climate, but they cannot change their nature. A man that goes out a fool cannot ride or sail himself into common sense.
** No. 93

* Silence never shows itself to so great an advantage, as when it is made the reply to calumny and defamation, provided that we give no just occasion for them.
** No. 133

* A misery is not to be measured from the nature of the evil, but from the temper of the sufferer.
** No. 146

* '''Reading is to the mind, what exercise is to the body.''' As by the one, health is preserved, strengthened, and invigorated: by the other, virtue (which is the health of the mind) is kept alive, cherished, and confirmed.
** No. 147

* '''A cheerful temper joined with innocence will make beauty attractive, knowledge delightful and wit good-natured.'''
** No. 192

* Advertisements are of great use to the vulgar. First of all, as they are instruments of ambition. A man that is by no means big enough for the Gazette, may easily creep into the advertisements; by which means we often see an apothecary in the same paper of news with a plenipotentiary, or a running footman with an ambassador.
** No. 224

[[File:Caspar David Friedrich - Wanderer above the sea of fog.jpg|thumb|right|Discretion has large and extended views, and, like a well-formed eye, commands a whole horizon: cunning is a kind of short-sightedness, that discovers the minutest objects which are near at hand, but is not able to discern things at a distance.]]
* '''The great art in writing advertisements is the finding out a proper method to catch the reader's eye; without which a good thing may pass over unobserved, or be lost among commissions of bankrupt.'''
** No. 224

[[File:Brocken Spectre at Peak Korzhenevskaya.jpg|thumb|right|There are many more shining qualities in the mind of man, but there is none so useful as discretion...]]
* I Have often thought if the minds of men were laid open, we should see but little difference between that of the wise man and that of the fool. There are infinite reveries, numberless extravagances, and a perpetual train of vanities which pass through both. The great difference is, that the first knows how to pick and cull his thoughts for conversation, by suppressing some, and communicating others; whereas the other lets them all indifferently fly out in words.
** No. 225

* '''There are many more shining qualities in the mind of man, but there is none so useful as discretion'''; it is this, indeed, which gives a value to all the rest, which sets them at work in their proper times and places, and turns them to the advantage of the person who is possessed of them. Without it, learning is pedantry, and wit impertinence; virtue itself looks like weakness; the best parts only qualify a man to be more sprightly in errors, and active to his own prejudice.
** No. 225

* '''The discreet man finds out the talents of those he converses with, and knows how to apply them to proper uses.''' Accordingly, if we look into particular communities and divisions of men, we may observe that it is the discreet man, not the witty, nor the learned, nor the brave, who guides the conversation, and gives measures to the society.
** No. 225

* '''Though a man has all other perfections, and wants discretion, he will be of no great consequence in the world'''; but if he has this single talent in perfection, and but a common share of others, he may do what he pleases in his station of life.
** No. 225

[[File:Hoag's object.jpg|thumb|right|The cast of mind which is natural to a discreet man, make him look forward into futurity, and consider what will be his condition millions of ages hence, as well as what it is at present.]]
* '''At the same time that I think discretion the most useful talent a man can be master of, I look upon cunning to be the accomplishment of little, mean, ungenerous minds.''' Discretion points out the noblest ends to us, and pursues the most proper and laudable methods of attaining them: cunning has only private selfish aims, and sticks at nothing which may make them succeed. '''Discretion has large and extended views, and, like a well-formed eye, commands a whole horizon: cunning is a kind of short-sightedness, that discovers the minutest objects which are near at hand, but is not able to discern things at a distance. Discretion the more it is discovered, gives a greater authority to the person who possesses it: cunning, when it is once detected, loses its force, and makes a man incapable of bringing about even those events which he might have done had he passed only for a plain man.''' Discretion is the perfection of reason, and a guide to us in all the duties of life: cunning is a kind of instinct, that only looks out after our immediate interest and welfare. Discretion is only found in men of strong sense and good understandings, cunning is often to be met with in brutes themselves, and in persons who are but the fewest removes from them.
** No. 225

* '''Cunning is only the mimic of discretion, and may pass upon weak men in the same manner as vivacity is often mistaken for wit, and gravity for wisdom.'''
** No. 225

* '''The cast of mind which is natural to a discreet man, make him look forward into futurity, and consider what will be his condition millions of ages hence, as well as what it is at present.''' He knows that the misery or happiness which are reserved for him in another world, lose nothing of their reality by being placed at so great a distance from him. The objects do not appear little to him because they are remote. He considers that those pleasures and pains which lie hid in eternity, approach nearer to him every moment, and will be present with him in their full weight and measure, as much as those pains and pleasures which he feels at this very instant. For this reason he is careful to secure to himself that which is the proper happiness of his nature, and the ultimate design of his being. He carries his thoughts to the end of every action, and considers the most distant as well as the most immediate effects of it. He supersedes every little prospect of gain and advantage which offers itself here, if he does not find it consistent with his views of an hereafter. '''In a word, his hopes are full of immortality, his schemes are large and glorious, and his conduct suitable to one who knows his true interest, and how to pursue it by proper methods.'''
** No. 225

=== ''The Freeholder'' (1715–1716) ===
* Arguments out of a pretty mouth are unanswerable.
** No. 4 (2 January 1716)

* '''There is no greater sign of a general decay of virtue in a nation, than a want of zeal in its inhabitants for the good of their country.'''
** No. 5 (6 January 1716)

* Though there is a benevolence due to all mankind, none can question but a superior degree of it is to be paid to a father, a wife, or a child. In the same manner, though our love should reach to the whole species, a greater proportion of it should exert itself towards that community in which Providence has placed us. This is our proper sphere of action, the province allotted us for the exercise of our civil virtues, and in which alone we have opportunities of expressing our good-will to mankind.
** No. 5 (6 January 1716)

* Prejudice and self-sufficiency naturally proceed from inexperience of the world, and ignorance of mankind.
** No. 30 (2 April 1716)

* '''When men are easy in their circumstances, they are naturally enemies to innovations.'''
** No. 42 (16 May 1716)

=== ''The Drummer'' (1716) ===
[[File:Carl Spitzweg - Aschermittwoch.jpg|thumb|right|We are growing serious, and, &lt;br/&gt; Let me tell you, that's the very next step to being dull.]]

* Round-heads and Wooden-shoes are standing jokes.
** prologue, l. 8

* '''We are growing serious, and, &lt;br/&gt; Let me tell you, that's the very next step to being dull.'''
** Act IV, sc. vi

* Antidotes are what you take to prevent dotes.
** Act IV, sc. vi

* There is nothing more requisite in business than dispatch.
** Act V, sc. 1

{{disputed begin}}

== Disputed ==
* If you wish success in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother and hope your guardian genius.
** The earliest appearance of this proverb yet located is in ''Eliza Cook's Journal'' Vol. 11, (1854), p. 128, and the earliest attribution to Addison yet found is in Henry Southgate, ed., ''[https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_New_Era/XD8DAAAAYAAJ?hl=en&amp;gbpv=1&amp;dq=addison%20%22hope%20your%20guardian%20genius%22&amp;pg=PA1&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;bsq=addison%20%22hope%20your%20guardian%20genius%22 Many Thoughts of Many Minds]'' (1862), p. 600.

* What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.
** This appears as an anonymous proverb in ''Frank Leslie's Sunday Magazine'' Vol. XIII, (January - June 1883) edited by T. De Witt Talmage, and apparently only in recent years has it become attributed to Addison.

* If men would consider not so much where they differ, as wherein they agree, there would be far less of uncharitableness and angry feeling in the world.
** Attributed to &quot;Addison&quot; in ''A Dictionary of Thoughts : Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, both Ancient and Modern'' (1908) edited by [[Tryon Edwards]], p. 117, but this might be the later &quot;Mr. Addison&quot; who was credited with publishing ''Interesting Anecdotes, Memoirs, Allegories, Essays, and Poetical Fragments'' (1794).

* Tradition is an important help to history, but its statements should be carefully scrutinized before we rely on them.
** Attributed to &quot;Addison&quot; in ''A Dictionary of Thoughts : Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, both Ancient and Modern'' (1908) edited by [[Tryon Edwards]], p. 580, but this might be the later &quot;Mr. Addison&quot; who was credited with publishing ''Interesting Anecdotes, Memoirs, Allegories, Essays, and Poetical Fragments'' (1794).

* The greatest sweetener of human life is Friendship. To raise this to the highest pitch of enjoyment, is a secret which but few discover.
** As quoted in ''Hugs for Girlfriends : Stories, Sayings, and Scriptures to Encourage and Inspire'' (2001) by Philis Boultinghouse and LeAnn Weiss, p. 7; there seem to be no published sources available for this statement prior to 2001.

{{disputed end}}
{{Misattributed begin}}

== Misattributed ==
:&lt;small&gt;Alphabetized by author&lt;/small&gt;

* A little nonsense now and then &lt;br/&gt; Is relished by the wisest men.
** This appears to be an anonymous proverb of unknown authorship, only occasionally attributed to Addison.

* With regard to donations always expect the most from prudent people, who keep their own accounts.
** This is attributed to Addison in ''The Columbia Dictionary of Quotations'' (1993) with a citation of &quot;Economy and Benevolence&quot; in ''Interesting Anecdotes, Memoirs, Allegories, Essays, and Poetical Fragments'' (1794) but that was a publication of a contemporary &quot;Mr. Addison&quot; in several volumes, and not the poet. Vol. III of that publication (in 1796), on page 205, does contain these lines, but as part of an anonymous ancecdote.

* Reading is a basic tool in the living of a good life.
** The earliest attributions of this remark to anyone are in 1941, to [[Mortimer Adler]], in ''How To Read A Book'' (1940), although this actually a paraphrased shortening of a statement in his preface: Reading — as explained (and defended) in this book — is a basic tool in the living of a good life.

* When you are at Rome, live as Romans live.
** St. [[w:Ambrose|Ambrose]], ''Si fueris Romæ, Romano vivito more'' as translated in ''Latin Proverbs and Quotations'' (1869) by Alfred Henderson; very commonly paraphrased as &quot;When in Rome do as the Romans do&quot;.

* To say that authority, whether secular or religious, supplies no ground for morality is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction.
** Sir [[Alfred Jules Ayer]], in his &quot;The Meaning of Life&quot;, collected in ''The Meaning of Life, and Other Essays'' (1990)

* There is not any present moment that is unconnected with some future one. The life of every man is a continued chain of incidents, each link of which hangs upon the former. The transition from cause to effect, from event to event, is often carried on by secret steps, which our foresight cannot divine, and our sagacity is unable to trace. Evil may at some future period bring forth good; and good may bring forth evil, both equally unexpected.
** Very often attributed to Addison, this is in fact by [[w:Hugh Blair|Hugh Blair]], published in Blair's ''Sermons'' (1815), Vol. 1, pp. 196-197.

* To a man of pleasure every moment appears to be lost, which partakes not of the vivacity of amusement.
** Very often attributed to Addison, this is apparently a paraphrase of a statement by [[w:Hugh Blair|Hugh Blair]], published in Blair's ''Sermons'' (1815), Vol. 1, p. 219, where he mentions &quot;men of pleasure and the men of business&quot;, and that &quot;To the former every moment appears to be lost, which partakes not of the vivacity of amusement&quot;.

* The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for.
** Widely quoted as an Addison maxim this is actually by the American clergyman George Washington Burnap (1802-1859), published in Burnap's ''The Sphere and Duties of Woman : A Course of Lectures'' (1848), Lecture IV.

* Justice is an unassailable fortress, built on the brow of a mountain which cannot be overthrown by the violence of torrents, nor demolished by the force of armies.
** [[w:Moncure D. Conway|Moncure Daniel Conway]], in ''The Sacred Anthology (Oriental) : A Book of Ethnical Scriptures'' 5th edition (1877), p. 386; this statement appears beneath an Arabian proverb, and [[Upton Sinclair]] later attributed it to the ''[[Qur'an]]'', in ''The Cry for Justice : An Anthology of the Literature of Social Protest'' (1915), p. 475.

* It is only imperfection that complains of what is imperfect. The more perfect we are the more gentle and quiet we become towards the defects of others.
** [[François Fénelon]], in [http://books.google.com/books?id=qJ4rAAAAYAAJ ''Selections from the Writings of Fenelon: With an appendix, containing a Memoir of his Life'' (1829) as translated by A Lady (Eliza Lee Cabot Follen)], Letter 37, p. 189.

* He that would pass the latter part of life with honour and decency, must, when he is young, consider that he shall one day be old; and remember, when he is old, that he has once been young.
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'', no. 50 (8 September 1750); many of Johnson's remarks have been attributed to Addison

* No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority.
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'', no. 148 (17 August 1751)

* That he delights in the misery of others no man will confess, and yet what other motive can make a father cruel?
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'', no. 148 (17 August 1751)

* The unjustifiable severity of a parent is loaded with this aggravation, that those whom he injures are always in his sight.
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'' no. 148 (17 August 1751)

* Education...is a companion which no misfortunes can depress, no clime destroy, no enemy alienate, no despotism enslave: at home a friend, abroad an introduction, in solitude a solace, in society an ornament: it chastens vice, it guides virtue, it gives at once a grace and government to genius. Without it, what is man? A splendid slave, a reasoning savage.
** Though sometimes attributed to Addison, this actually comes from a speech delivered by the Irish lawyer Charles Phillips in 1817, in the case of O'Mullan v. M'Korkill, published in ''Irish Eloquence: The Speeches of the Celebrated Irish Orators'' (1834) pp. 91-92.

* They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.
** Attributed to Addison in ''(K)new Words: Redefine Your Communication'' (2005), by Gloria Pierre, p. 120, there are no indications of such a statement in Addison's writings.

* Plenty of people wish to become devout, but no one wishes to be humble.
** A translation of one of [[François de La Rochefoucauld|La Rochefoucauld]]'s maxims, published posthumously in 1693. In the original: &quot;''Force gens veulent être dévots, mais personne ne veut être humble.''&quot;

* The beloved of the Almighty are: the rich who have the humility of the poor, and the poor who have the magnanimity of the rich.
** [[Saadi]] as translated in ''The Gulistān : Or, Rose-garden, of Shek̲h̲ Muslihu'd-dīn Sādī of Shīrāz'' as translated by Edward Backhouse Eastwick (1880), p. 203

* Jesters do often prove prophets.
** Not found in Addison's works, and &quot;Jesters do oft prove prophets&quot; is actually [[William Shakespeare]], in [[King Lear|''King Lear'']], Act V, sc. iii

* The utmost extent of man's knowledge, is to know that he knows nothing.
** These words, sometimes attributed to Addison, are not found in his works, but in ''The Spectator'', no. 54, he translates the following words of [[Socrates]], as quoted in [[Plato]]'s ''Apology'': &quot;When I left him, I reasoned thus with myself: I am wiser than this man, for neither of us appears to know anything great and good; but '''he fancies he knows something, although he knows nothing; whereas I, as I do not know anything, so I do not fancy I do. In this trifling particular, then, I appear to be wiser than he, because I do not fancy I know what I do not know.'''&quot;

* The chief ingredients in the composition of those qualities that gain esteem and praise, are good nature, truth, good sense, and good breeding.
** [[William Temple]], in &quot;Heads Designed for an Essay on Conversation&quot; in ''The Works of Sir William Temple, Bart. in Four Volumes'' (1757), Vol. III, p. 547

* The union of the Word and the Mind produces that mystery which is called Life... Learn deeply of the Mind and its mystery, for therein lies the secret of immortality.
** &quot;[http://magdelene.net/Thoth%20Hermes%20Trismegistus.htm The Life and Teachings of Thoth Hermes Trismegistus]&quot;, in ''The Secret Teachings of All Ages'' (1928) by the Canadian occultist [[w:Manly Hall|Manly Hall]]; a few quotation websites credit this to Addison.
{{Misattributed end}}

== Quotes about Addison ==
* In our way to the Club to-night, when I regretted that [[Oliver Goldsmith|Goldsmith]] would, upon every occasion, endeavour to shine, by which he often exposed himself; Mr. Langton observed, that he was not like Addison, who was content with the fame of his writings, and did not aim also at excellency in conversation, for which he found himself unfit; and that he said to a lady, who complained of his having talked little in company, &quot;Madam, I have but nine-pence in ready money, but I can draw for a thousand pounds&quot;.
** [[James Boswell]], in ''The Life of Samuel Johnson'' (1791), mentioning a contrast made of Addison's character and that of Oliver Goldsmith, in his accounts of 7 May 1773

* The last place in London to which I will ask the reader to accompany me with Addison is one which has changed but little since his time, and has been of late very much in all our thoughts—I mean Westminster Abbey. He tells us that in his serious and pensive moods he very often walked there by himself, where the gloominess of the place, with the solemnity of the building, and the condition of the people who lie in it, filled his mind with a melancholy, or rather a thoughtfulness, that was not unpleasing.
** {{cite journal|author=James G. Frazer|authorlink=James George Frazer|title=London Life in the Time of Addison|date=January 1922|journal=The Quarterly Review|pages=18–32|url=https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=hvd.32044092529320;view=1up;seq=44}} quote p. 32

* In the formal treatises Addison has three subjects: religion, classical literature, and Whig politics. His greatest delight in literature was the study of Latin poetry; and he was himself a most skilful writer of Latin verse—he is indeed more a poet in Latin than in English.
** A. C. Guthkelch {{cite journal|title=The Prose Works of Joseph Addison|volume=225|pages=238–250|journal=[[w:Quarterly Review|The Quarterly Review]]|url=https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=chi.78280796;view=1up;seq=258}} January 1916, quote p. 242

* '''Whoever wishes to attain an English style, familiar, but not coarse, and elegant, but not ostentatious, must give his days and nights to the volumes of Addison.'''
** [[Samuel Johnson]], ''Lives of the Most Eminent English Poets'' (1779-81), &quot;Addison&quot;

* As a man, he may not have deserved the adoration which he received from those who, bewitched by his fascinating society, and indebted for all the comforts of life to his generous and delicate friendship, worshipped him nightly, in his favourite temple at Button’s. But, after full inquiry and impartial reflection, we have long been convinced that he deserved as much love and esteem as can be justly claimed by any of our infirm and erring race. Some blemishes may undoubtedly be detected in his character; but the more carefully it is examined, the more it will appear, to use the phrase of the old anatomists, sound in the noble parts, free from all taint of perfidy, of cowardice, of cruelty, of ingratitude, of envy. Men may easily be named, in whom some particular good disposition has been more conspicuous than in Addison. But the just harmony of qualities, the exact temper between the stern and the humane virtues, the habitual observance of every law, not only of moral rectitude, but of moral grace and dignity, distinguish him from all men who have been tried by equally strong temptations, and about whose conduct we possess equally full information.
** [[Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1st Baron Macaulay|Thomas Macaulay]] in &quot;Essay on the Life and Writings of Addison&quot;, in ''Essays'' Vol. V (1866) &lt;!-- Hurd and Houghton --&gt;

* Just men, by whom impartial laws were given; &lt;br/&gt; And saints who taught and led the way to heaven. &lt;br/&gt; Ne'er to these chambers, where the mighty rest, &lt;br/&gt; Since their foundation came a nobler guest;&lt;br /&gt;Nor e’er was to the bowers of bliss conveyed &lt;br/&gt; A fairer spirit or more welcome shade.
**[[Thomas Tickell]], ''On the Death of Mr. Addison'' (1721)

* '''If in the stage I seek to soothe my care, &lt;br/&gt; I meet his soul which breathes in [[w:Joseph_Addison#Cato|Cato]] there'''; &lt;br/&gt; If pensive to the rural shades I rove, &lt;br/&gt; His shape o'ertakes me in the lonely grove; &lt;br/&gt; 'Twas there of just and good he reasoned strong, &lt;br/&gt; Cleared some great truth, or raised some serious song: &lt;br/&gt; There patient showed us the wise course to steer, &lt;br/&gt; A candid censor, and a friend severe; &lt;br/&gt; '''There taught us how to live; and (oh, too high &lt;br/&gt; The price for knowledge!) taught us how to die.'''
**[[Thomas Tickell]], ''On the Death of Mr. Addison'' (1721)

*The prose of Whig and Tory polemics contained a larger proportion of stuff destined to endure: Swift and Addison,as journalists spoke to the their day but have been overheard by the ages.
**[[G. M. Trevelyan]].&quot;England Under Queen Anne, Blenheim&quot;, Fontana Library,1965, Page 100

*The first ''English'' Writer who compos'd a regular Tragedy and infus'd a Spirit of Elegance thro' every Part of it, was the illustrious Mr. ''Addison''. His C&lt;small&gt;ATO&lt;/small&gt; is a Master-piece both with regard to the Diction, and to the Beauty and Harmony of the Numbers. The Character of ''Cato'' is, in my Opinion, vastly superiour to that of ''Cornelia'' in the P&lt;small&gt;OMPEY&lt;/small&gt; of ''Corneille'': For ''Cato'' is great without any Thing like Fustian, and ''Cornelia'', who besides is not a necessary Character, tends sometimes to bombast. Mr. ''Addison'''s ''Cato'' appears to me the greatest Character that was ever brought upon any Stage, but then the rest of them don't correspond to the Dignity of it: And this dramatic Piece so excellently well writ, is disfigur'd by a dull Love Plot, which spreads a certain Languor over the whole, that quite murders it.
**[[Voltaire]], ''Letters Concerning the English Nation'' (1733), pp. 178-179

* He dismissed his physicians, and with them all hopes of life. But with his hopes of life he dismissed not his concern for the living, but sent for a youth nearly related and finely accomplished, but not above being the better for good impressions from a dying friend. He came; but, life now glimmering in the socket, the dying friend was silent. After a decent and proper pause, the youth said, &quot;Dear sir, you sent for me: I believe and I hope that you have some commands; I shall hold them most sacred.&quot; May distant ages not only hear, but feel, the reply! Forcibly grasping the youth's hand, he softly said, &quot;See in what peace a Christian can die!&quot; He spoke with difficulty and soon expired. Through grace Divine, how great is man!
** [[Edward Young]] in [http://books.google.com/books?id=foM1AAAAMAAJ ''Conjectures on Original Composition'' (1759)]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Wikisource author}}
* [http://www.accd.edu/sac/english/bailey/addison.htm Joseph Addison page at San Antonio College]
* [http://eir.library.utoronto.ca/rpo/display/poet2.html Selected poetry at the University of Toronto]
* [http://eee.uci.edu/~papyri/Addison/ Prose and poetry of Addison] (Latin only)
* [http://www.constitution.org/addison/cato_play.htm The play ''Cato'' online] This play was one of [[George Washington]]'s favorites.

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      <text bytes="67217" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Joseph Addison by Sir Godfrey Kneller, Bt cleaned.jpg|thumb|right|I shall endeavor to enliven morality with wit, and to temper wit with morality.]]
[[File:Tenniel Saint Cecilia.jpg|thumb|right|Music, the greatest good that mortals know,&lt;br/&gt;And all of heaven we have below.]]
'''[[w:Joseph Addison|Joseph Addison]]''' ([[May 1]] [[1672]] – [[June 17]] [[1719]]) was an English politician and writer. His name is often remembered in tandem with that of his friend, [[Richard Steele]], with whom he founded ''[[w:The Spectator (1711)|The Spectator]]'' magazine.

== Quotes ==
[[File:Nicolas Poussin - Sainte Cécile.jpg|thumb|right|Music religious heat inspires, &lt;br/&gt;It wakes the soul, and lifts it high]]
[[File:Paradiso Canto 31.jpg|thumb|right|Keep up the loud harmonious song, &lt;br/&gt; And imitate the blest above, &lt;br/&gt; In joy, and harmony, and love.]]
[[File:Waterhouse,_John_William_-_Saint_Cecilia_-_1895.jpg|thumb|right|Let echo, too, perform her part, &lt;br/&gt;Prolonging every note with art]]
[[File:Albi - Sainte-Cécile - martyre de Sainte Cécile.jpg|thumb|right|A thousand trills and quivering sounds &lt;br/&gt;In airy circles o'er us fly, &lt;br/&gt;Till, wafted by a gentle breeze, &lt;br/&gt;They faint and languish by degrees, &lt;br/&gt;And at a distance die.]]
[[File:Egg Nebula.jpg|thumb|right|Where have my ravish'd senses been! &lt;br/&gt; What joys, what wonders, have I seen!]]
[[File:AnttlersNewM45.jpg|thumb|right|Every star, and every pow'r, &lt;br/&gt; Look down on this important hour]]
[[File:M51 whirlpool galaxy black hole.jpg|thumb|right|Should the whole frame of Nature round him break, &lt;br/&gt; In ruin and confusion hurled, &lt;br/&gt; He, unconcerned, would hear the mighty crack, &lt;br/&gt; And stand secure amidst a falling world.]]
[[File:Arches westminster abbey.jpg|thumb|right|When I consider rival wits placed side by side, or the holy men that divided the world with their contests and disputes, I reflect with sorrow and astonishment on the little competitions, factions, and debates of mankind.]]
[[File:Joseph Addison (1672-1719).jpg|thumb|right|There is no greater sign of a general decay of virtue in a nation, than a want of zeal in its inhabitants for the good of their country.]]

* '''Music, the greatest good that mortals know,&lt;br/&gt;And all of heaven we have below.'''
** ''Song for [[w:Saint Cecilia|St. Cecilia]]'s Day'' (1692), st. 3

* '''Music religious heat inspires, &lt;br/&gt;It wakes the soul, and lifts it high''', &lt;br/&gt;And wings it with sublime desires, &lt;br/&gt;And fits it to bespeak the Deity.
** ''Song for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1692), st. 4

* '''When time itself shall be no more, &lt;br/&gt; And all things in confusion hurl'd, &lt;br/&gt; Music shall then exert it's power, &lt;br/&gt; And sound survive the ruins of the world''': &lt;br/&gt; Then saints and angels shall agree &lt;br/&gt; In one eternal jubilee: &lt;br/&gt; '''All Heaven shall echo with their hymns divine, &lt;br/&gt; And God himself with pleasure see &lt;br/&gt; The whole creation in a chorus join.'''
** ''Song for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1692)

* '''Consecrate the place and day &lt;br/&gt; To music and Cecilia. &lt;br/&gt; Let no rough winds approach, nor dare &lt;br/&gt; Invade the hallow'd bounds, &lt;br/&gt; Nor rudely shake the tuneful air, &lt;br/&gt; Nor spoil the fleeting sounds.''' &lt;br/&gt; Nor mournful sigh nor groan be heard, &lt;br/&gt; But gladness dwell on every tongue; &lt;br/&gt; Whilst all, with voice and strings prepar'd, &lt;br/&gt; '''Keep up the loud harmonious song, &lt;br/&gt; And imitate the blest above, &lt;br/&gt; In joy, and harmony, and love.'''
** ''Song for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1692)

* On you, my lord, with anxious fear I wait, &lt;br/&gt; And from your judgment must expect my fate.
** ''A Poem to His Majesty'' (1695), l. 21

* '''Let echo, too, perform her part, &lt;br/&gt;Prolonging every note with art'''; &lt;br/&gt;And in a low expiring strain, &lt;br/&gt;Play all the concert o'er again.
** ''Ode for St. Cecilia's Day'' (1699), st. 4

* A thousand trills and quivering sounds &lt;br/&gt;In airy circles o'er us fly, &lt;br/&gt;Till, wafted by a gentle breeze, &lt;br/&gt;They faint and languish by degrees, &lt;br/&gt;And at a distance die.
** ''Ode on St. Cecilia's Day'' (1699), st. 6

* For wheresoe'er I turn my ravished eyes, &lt;br/&gt; Gay gilded scenes and shining prospects rise, &lt;br/&gt; Poetic fields encompass me around, &lt;br/&gt; And still I seem to tread on classic ground.
** ''A Letter from Italy'', to the Right Honourable Charles, Lord Halifax (1701)

* Fain would I Raphael's godlike art rehearse, &lt;br/&gt; And show th' immortal labours in my verse, &lt;br/&gt; Where from themingled strength of shade and light &lt;br/&gt; '''A new creation rises to my sight''', &lt;br/&gt; Such heavenly figures from his pencil flow, &lt;br/&gt; So warm with life his blended colours glow. &lt;br/&gt; From theme to theme with secret pleasure tost, &lt;br/&gt; Amidst the soft variety I 'm lost: &lt;br/&gt; Here pleasing airs my ravish'd soul confound &lt;br/&gt; With circling notes and labyrinths of sound; &lt;br/&gt; Here domes and temples rise in distant views, &lt;br/&gt; And opening palaces invite my Muse.
** ''A Letter from Italy'' (1703)

* When hosts of foes with foes engage, &lt;br/&gt; And round th' anointed hero rage, &lt;br/&gt; The cleaving fauchion I misguide, &lt;br/&gt; And turn the feather'd shaft aside.
** Second Angel, in ''Rosamond'' (c. 1707), Act III, sc. i

* '''Where have my ravish'd senses been! &lt;br/&gt; What joys, what wonders, have I seen!''' &lt;br/&gt; The scene yet stands before my eye, &lt;br/&gt; A thousand glorious deeds that lie &lt;br/&gt; In deep futurity obscure, &lt;br/&gt; Fights and triumphs immature, &lt;br/&gt; '''Heroes immers'd in time's dark womb, &lt;br/&gt; Ripening for mighty years to come, &lt;br/&gt; Break forth, and, to the day display'd, &lt;br/&gt; My soft inglorious hours upbraid. &lt;br/&gt; Transported with so bright a scheme, &lt;br/&gt; My waking life appears a dream.'''
** Henry in ''Rosamond'' (c. 1707), Act III, sc. i

* '''Every star, and every pow'r, &lt;br/&gt; Look down on this important hour''': &lt;br/&gt; Lend your protection and defence &lt;br/&gt; Every guard of innocence! &lt;br/&gt; Help me my Henry to assuage, &lt;br/&gt; To gain his love or bear his rage. &lt;br/&gt; '''Mysterious love, uncertain treasure,&lt;br/&gt;Hast thou more of pain or pleasure!&lt;br/&gt;Chill'd with tears,&lt;br/&gt;Kill'd with fears,&lt;br/&gt;Endless torments dwell about thee:&lt;br/&gt;Yet who would live, and live without thee!'''
** Queen Elinor in ''Rosamond'' (c. 1707), Act III, sc. ii

*The ''French'' are certainly the most implacable, and the most dangerous Enemys of the ''British'' Nation. Their Form of Government, their Religion, their Jealousy of the ''British'' Power, as well as their Prosecutions of Commerce, and Pursuits of [[w:Universal monarchy|Universal Monarchy]], will fix them for ever in their Animosities and Aversions towards us, and make them catch at all Opportunities of subverting our Constitution, destroying our Religion, ruining our Trade, and sinking the Figure which we make among the Nations of ''Europe''...&lt;br&gt;As we are thus in a natural State of War, if I may so call it, with the ''French'' Nation; it is our Misfortune, that they are not only the most inveterate, but most formidable of our Enemies; and have the greatest Power, as well as the strongest Inclination to ruin us. 
**''The Present State of the War, and the Necessity of an Augmentation, Consider'd'' (1708), pp. 1-2

*The ''French'' King hath often enter'd on several expensive Projects, on purpose to dissipate the Wealth that is continually gathering in his Coffers in times of peace... But if he once engrosses the commerce of the ''Spanish Indies'', whatever Quantities of Gold and Silver stagnate in his private Coffers, there will be still enough to carry on the Circulation among his Subjects. By this means in a short space of time he may heap up greater Wealth than all the Princes of ''Europe'' join'd together; and in the present Constitution of the World, '''Wealth and Power are but different Names for the same thing.''' Let us therefore suppose that after eight or ten Years of Peace, he hath a mind to infringe any of his Treaties, or invade a neighbouring State; to revive the pretensions of ''Spain'' upon ''Portugal'', or attempt the taking those Places which were granted us for our Security; what Resistance, what Opposition can we make to so formidable an Enemy? Shou'd the same Alliance rise against him that is now in War with him, what cou'd we hope for from it, at a time when the States engag'd in it will be comparatively weaken'd, and the Enemy who is now able to keep them at a stand, will have receiv'd so many new Accessions of Strength.
**''The Present State of the War, and the Necessity of an Augmentation, Consider'd'' (1708), pp. 11-12

* '''The man resolved, and steady to his trust, &lt;br/&gt; Inflexible to ill, and obstinately just, &lt;br/&gt; May the rude rabble's insolence despise''', &lt;br/&gt; Their senseless clamours and tumultuous cries; &lt;br/&gt; The tyrant's fierceness he beguiles, &lt;br/&gt; And the stern brow, and the harsh voice defies, &lt;br/&gt; And with superior greatness smiles.
** Translation of ''[[Horace]]'', ''Odes'', Book III, ode iii

* '''Should the whole frame of Nature round him break, &lt;br/&gt; In ruin and confusion hurled, &lt;br/&gt; He, unconcerned, would hear the mighty crack, &lt;br/&gt; And stand secure amidst a falling world.'''
** Translation of ''[[Horace]]'', ''Odes'', Book III, ode iii

* When I read the several dates of the tombs, of some that died yesterday, and some six hundred years ago, I consider that great day when we shall all of us be contemporaries, and make our appearance together.
** ''Thoughts in Westminster Abbey'' (1711)

* '''When I read the epitaphs of the beautiful, every inordinate desire goes out'''; when I meet with the grief of parents upon a tombstone, my heart melts with compassion; when I see the tomb of the parents themselves, I consider the vanity of grieving for those whom we must quickly follow: '''when I see kings lying by those who deposed them, when I consider rival wits placed side by side, or the holy men that divided the world with their contests and disputes, I reflect with sorrow and astonishment on the little competitions, factions, and debates of mankind.'''
** ''Thoughts in Westminster Abbey'' (1711)

* '''See in what peace a Christian can die!'''
** Last words, to his stepson (1719), as quoted in ''Conjectures on Original Composition'' (1759) by [[w:Edward Young|Edward Young]]
** Variants:
** '''I have sent for you that you may see in what peace a Christian may die.'''
*** As quoted in ''The R. I. Schoolmaster'', Vol. V (1859), edited by William A. Mowry and Henry Clark, p. 71
** I have sent for you that you may see how a Christian may die.
*** As quoted in ''Famous Sayings and their Authors'' (1906) by Edward Latham

=== ''The Campaign'' (1704) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://addison.classicauthors.net/campaign/ Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:UK Royal Coat of Arms.svg|thumb|right|Great souls by instinct to each other turn, &lt;br/&gt; Demand alliance, and in friendship burn]]
[[File:Battle of Tolbiac.jpg|thumb|right|Nations with nations mix'd confus'dly die, &lt;br/&gt; And lost in one promiscuous carnage lie.]]
[[File:MichaelKi.jpg|thumb|right|Calm and serene he drives the furious blast; &lt;br/&gt;And, pleas'd th' Almighty's orders to perform, &lt;br/&gt;Rides in the whirlwind, and directs the storm.]]

* '''Great souls by instinct to each other turn, &lt;br/&gt; Demand alliance, and in friendship burn'''; &lt;br/&gt; A sudden friendship, while with stretched-out rays &lt;br/&gt; They meet each other, mingling blaze with blaze. &lt;br/&gt; Polished in courts, and hardened in the field, &lt;br/&gt; Renowned for conquest, and in council skilled, &lt;br/&gt; '''Their courage dwells not in a troubled flood &lt;br/&gt; Of mounting spirits, and fermenting blood: &lt;br/&gt; Lodged in the soul, with virtue overruled, &lt;br/&gt; Inflamed by reason, and by reason cooled, &lt;br/&gt; In hours of peace content to be unknown. &lt;br/&gt; And only in the field of battle shown: &lt;br/&gt; To souls like these, in mutual friendship joined, &lt;br/&gt; Heaven dares intrust the cause of humankind.'''
** Line 101

* '''Nations with nations mix'd confus'dly die, &lt;br/&gt; And lost in one promiscuous carnage lie.'''
** Line 152

* Unbounded courage and compassion join'd, &lt;br/&gt; Tempering each other in the victor's mind, &lt;br/&gt; Alternately proclaim him good and great, &lt;br/&gt; And make the hero and the man complete.
** Line 219

* '''So when an angel by divine command &lt;br/&gt;With rising tempests shakes a guilty land, &lt;br/&gt;Such as of late o'er pale Britannia passed, &lt;br/&gt;Calm and serene he drives the furious blast; &lt;br/&gt;And, pleas'd th' Almighty's orders to perform, &lt;br/&gt;Rides in the whirlwind, and directs the storm.'''
** Line 287, the word &quot;passed&quot; was here originally spelt &quot;past&quot; but modern renditions have updated the spelling for clarity. An alteration of these lines occurs in [[Alexander Pope]]'s satire ''[[The Dunciad|The Dunciad]]'', Book III, line 264, where he describes a contemporary theatre manager as an &quot;Angel of Dulness&quot;:
:: Immortal Rich! how calm he sits at ease, &lt;br/&gt; Midst snows of paper, and fierce hail of pease; &lt;br/&gt; And proud his mistress' order to perform, &lt;br/&gt; Rides in the whirlwind and directs the storm.

* O Dormer, how can I behold thy fate, &lt;br/&gt;And not the wonders of thy youth relate; &lt;br/&gt;How can I see the gay, the brave, the young, &lt;br/&gt;Fall in the cloud of war, and lie unsung! &lt;br/&gt;In joys of conquest he resigns his breath, &lt;br/&gt;And, filled with England's glory, smiles in death.
** Line 309

* '''Rais'd of themselves, their genuine charms they boast, &lt;br/&gt; And those who paint them truest praise them most.'''
** last lines

=== ''Cato, A Tragedy'' (1713)===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.constitution.org/addison/cato_play.htm Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Lightning8 - NOAA.jpg|thumb|right|Is there not some chosen curse, &lt;br/&gt; Some hidden thunder in the stores of heaven, &lt;br/&gt; Red with uncommon wrath, to blast the man &lt;br/&gt; Who owes his greatness to his country's ruin?]]
[[File:Marcus Porcius Cato.jpg|thumb|right|'Tis not in mortals to command success, &lt;br/&gt; But we'll do more, Sempronius; we'll deserve it.]]
[[File:Cato Utica Louvre LP2090.jpg|thumb|right|A day, an hour, of virtuous liberty &lt;br/&gt; Is worth a whole eternity in bondage.]]
[[File:Guillaume Guillon Lethière-The Death of Cato of Utica, 1795.jpg|thumb|right|What pity is it &lt;br/&gt; That we can die but once to serve our country!]]

* '''Is there not some chosen curse, &lt;br/&gt; Some hidden thunder in the stores of heaven, &lt;br/&gt; Red with uncommon wrath, to blast the man &lt;br/&gt; Who owes his greatness to his country's ruin?'''
** Act I, scene i

* The dawn is overcast, the morning lowers, &lt;br/&gt; And heavily in clouds brings on the day, &lt;br/&gt; The great, the important day, &lt;br/&gt; Big with the fate Of Cato, and of Rome.
** Act I, scene i

* Thy steady temper, Portius, &lt;br/&gt; Can look on guilt, rebellion, fraud, and Cæsar, &lt;br/&gt; In the calm lights of mild philosophy.
** Act I, scene i

* Love is not to be reason'd down, or lost&lt;br /&gt;In high ambition, and a thirst of greatness;&lt;br /&gt;'Tis second life, it grows into the soul,&lt;br /&gt;Warms every vein, and beats in every pulse.
** Act I, scene i

* ''' 'Tis not in mortals to command success, &lt;br/&gt; But we'll do more, Sempronius; we'll deserve it.'''
** Act I, scene ii

* Thy father's merit sets thee up to view, &lt;br/&gt; And shows thee in the fairest point of light, &lt;br/&gt; To make thy virtues, or thy faults, conspicuous.
** Act I, scene ii

* Oh! think what anxious moments pass between &lt;br/&gt; The birth of plots, and their last fatal periods, &lt;br/&gt; Oh! 'tis a dreadful interval of time, &lt;br/&gt; Filled up with horror all, and big with death!
** Act I, scene iii

* '''Better to die ten thousand deaths, &lt;br/&gt; Than wound my honour.'''
** Act I, scene iv

* If the following day he chance to find &lt;br/&gt; A new repast, or an untasted spring, &lt;br/&gt; Blesses his stars, and thinks it luxury.
** Act I, scene iv

* 'Tis [[pride]], rank pride, and haughtiness of soul: &lt;br/&gt; I think the Romans call it Stoicism.
** Act I, scene iv

* Were you with these, my prince, you'd soon forget &lt;br/&gt; The pale, unripened beauties of the north.
** Act I, scene iv

* Beauty soon grows familiar to the lover, &lt;br/&gt; Fades in his eye, and palls upon the sense.
** Act I, scene iv

* '''My voice is still for war. &lt;br/&gt; Gods! Can a Roman senate long debate &lt;br/&gt; Which of the two to choose, slavery or death?''' &lt;br/&gt; No, let us rise at once, &lt;br/&gt; Gird on our swords, and, &lt;br/&gt; At the head of our remaining troops, attack the foe, &lt;br/&gt; Break through the thick array of his throng'd legions, &lt;br/&gt; And charge home upon him. &lt;br/&gt; '''Perhaps some arm, more lucky than the rest, &lt;br/&gt; May reach his heart, and free the world from bondage.'''
** Act II, scene i

* '''A day, an hour, of virtuous liberty &lt;br/&gt; Is worth a whole eternity in bondage.'''
** Act II, scene i

* Great Pompey's shade complains that we are slow, &lt;br/&gt; And Scipio's ghost walks unavenged amongst us!
** Act II, scene i

* '''Young men soon give and soon forget affronts; &lt;br/&gt; Old age is slow in both.'''
** Act II, scene v

* The friendships of the world are oft &lt;br/&gt; Confederacies in vice, or leagues of pleasure; &lt;br/&gt; Ours has severest virtue for its basis, &lt;br/&gt; And such a friendship ends not but with life.
** Act III, scene i

* When love's well-timed 'tis not a fault of love; &lt;br/&gt; The strong, the brave, the virtuous, and the wise, &lt;br/&gt; Sink in the soft captivity together.
** Act III, scene i

* Loveliest of women! heaven is in thy soul, &lt;br/&gt; Beauty and virtue shine forever round thee, &lt;br/&gt; Bright'ning each other! thou art all divine!
** Act III, scene ii

* '''Talk not of love: thou never knew'st its force.'''
** Act III, scene ii

* To my confusion, and eternal grief, &lt;br/&gt; I must approve the sentence that destroys me.
** Act III, scene ii

* See they suffer death, &lt;br/&gt; But in their deaths remember they are men, &lt;br/&gt; '''Strain not the laws to make their tortures grievous.'''
** Act III, scene v

* Why wilt thou add to all the griefs I suffer &lt;br/&gt; Imaginary ills, and fancy'd tortures?
** Act IV, scene i

* When love once pleas admission to our hearts, &lt;br/&gt; (In spite of all the virtue we can boast), &lt;br/&gt; The woman that deliberates is lost.
** Variant: &quot;When love once pleads admission to our hearts...&quot;
** Act IV, scene i. The last line has often been misreported as &quot;He who hesitates is lost&quot;, a sentiment inspired by it but not penned by Addison. See Paul F. Boller, Jr., and John George, ''They Never Said It: A Book of Fake Quotes, Misquotes, &amp; Misleading Attributions'' (1989), p. 3

* I will indulge my sorrows, and give way &lt;br/&gt; To all the pangs and fury of despair.
** Act IV, scene iii

* Curse on his virtues! they've undone his country.
** Act IV, scene iv

* How beautiful is death, when earn'd by virtue! &lt;br/&gt; Who would not be that youth? '''What pity is it &lt;br/&gt; That we can die but once to serve our country!'''
** Act IV, scene iv

* '''Content thyself to be obscurely good. &lt;br/&gt; When vice prevails, and impious men bear sway, &lt;br/&gt; The post of honor is a private station.'''
** Act IV, scene iv

* O ye powers that search &lt;br/&gt; The heart of man, and weigh his inmost thoughts, &lt;br/&gt; If I have done amiss, impute it not! &lt;br/&gt; The best may err, but you are good.
** Act IV, scene iv

* Thanks to the gods! my boy has done his duty.
** Act IV, scene iv

* The honors of this world, what are they &lt;br/&gt; But puff, and emptiness, and peril of falling?
** Act IV, scene iv

* The stars shall fade away, the sun himself &lt;br/&gt; Grow dim with age, and nature sink in years, &lt;br/&gt; But thou shalt flourish in immortal youth, &lt;br/&gt; Unhurt amidst the wars of elements, &lt;br/&gt; The wrecks of matter, and the crush of worlds.
** Act V, scene i

[[File:Halo in cirrostratus 1.jpg|thumb|right|If there's a power above us, &lt;br/&gt; (And that there is all nature cries aloud &lt;br/&gt; Through all her works) he must delight in virtue.]]
* '''If there's a power above us, &lt;br/&gt; (And that there is all nature cries aloud &lt;br/&gt; Through all her works) he must delight in virtue.'''
** Act V, scene i

* It must be so — [[Plato]], thou reasonest well! &lt;br/&gt; Else whence this pleasing hope, this fond desire, &lt;br/&gt; This longing after immortality? &lt;br/&gt; Or whence this secret dread, and inward horror, &lt;br/&gt; O falling into nought? Why shrinks the soul &lt;br/&gt; Back on herself, and startles at destruction? &lt;br/&gt; 'Tis the divinity that stirs within us; &lt;br/&gt; ''' 'Tis heaven itself, that points out an hereafter, &lt;br/&gt; And intimates eternity to man.'''
** Act V, scene i

[[File:Sun-halo-roscoff.jpg|thumb|right|Nature does nothing without purpose or uselessly.]]
* '''Eternity! thou pleasing dreadful thought!''' &lt;br/&gt; Through what variety of untried being, &lt;br/&gt; Through what new scenes and changes must we pass!
** Act V, scene i

* I'm weary of conjectures,—this must end 'em. &lt;br/&gt; Thus am I doubly armed: '''my death and life, &lt;br/&gt; My bane and antidote, are both before me''': &lt;br/&gt; This in a moment brings me to an end; &lt;br/&gt; But this informs me I shall never die. &lt;br/&gt; The soul, secured in her existence, smiles &lt;br/&gt; At the drawn dagger, and defies its point. &lt;br/&gt; The stars shall fade away, the sun himself &lt;br/&gt; Grow dim with age, and Nature sink in years; &lt;br/&gt; But thou shalt flourish in immortal youth, &lt;br/&gt; Unhurt amidst the war of elements, &lt;br/&gt; The wrecks of matter, and the crush of worlds.
** Act V, scene i

* '''Nature does nothing without purpose or uselessly.'''
** Act V, scene i

* The ideal man bears the accidents of life &lt;br/&gt; With dignity and grace, the best of circumstances.
** Act V, scene i

* '''The soul, secured in her existence, smiles &lt;br/&gt; At the drawn dagger, and defies its point.'''
** Act V, scene i

* What means this heaviness that hangs upon me? &lt;br/&gt; This lethargy that creeps through all my senses? &lt;br/&gt; Nature, oppress'd and harrass'd out with care, &lt;br/&gt; Sinks down to rest.
** Act V, scene i

* Sweet are the slumbers of the virtuous man.
** Act V, scene iv

* '''From hence, let fierce contending nations know, &lt;br/&gt; What dire effects from civil discord flow.'''
** Act V, scene iv

=== ''The Guardian'' (1713) ===
[[File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|thumb|right|There in no virtue so truly great and godlike as justice.]]

* '''There is no virtue so truly great and godlike as justice.'''
** No. 99

* To be perfectly just is an attribute in the divine nature; to be so to the utmost of our abilities, is the glory of man.
** No. 99

* '''Justice discards party, friendship, kindred, and is therefore always represented as blind.'''
** No. 99

* '''Knowledge is, indeed, that which, next to virtue, truly and essentially raises one man above another.'''
** No. 111

* When I read the rules of criticism, I immediately inquire after the works of the author who has written them, and by that means discover what it is he likes in a composition.
** No. 115

* Courage that grows from constitution very often forsakes a man when he has occasion for it, and when it is only a kind of instinct in the Soul breaks out on all occasions without judgment or discretion. That courage which proceeds from the sense of our duty, and from the fear of offending Him that made us, acts always in a uniform manner, and according to the dictates of right reason.
** No. 117

* Blessings may appear under the shape of pains, losses and disappointments; but let him have patience, and he will see them in their proper figures.
** No. 117

* '''A good conscience is to the soul what health is to the body'''; '''it preserves a constant ease and serenity within us''', and more than countervails all the calamities and afflictions which can possibly befall us.
** No. 135

* The sense of honour is of so fine and delicate a nature, that it is only to be met with in minds which are naturally noble, or in such as have been cultivated by good examples, or a refined education.
** No. 161

* Charity is a virtue of the heart, and not of the hands.
** No. 166

* '''Gifts and alms are the expressions, not the essence, of this virtue.'''
** No. 166

=== ''[[w:The Spectator (1711)|The Spectator]]'' (1711–1714) ===
[[File:The Spectator 1788.jpg|thumb|right|I live in the world rather as a spectator of mankind than as one of the species.]]
[[File:SépultureCathelineau.JPG|thumb|right|The Fear of Death often proves Mortal, and sets People on Methods to save their Lives, which infallibly destroy them.]]

* '''If I can any way contribute to the diversion or improvement of the country in which I live, I shall leave it, when I am summoned out of it, with the secret satisfaction of thinking that I have not lived in vain.'''
** No. 1 (1 March 1711)

* '''Thus I live in the world rather as a spectator of mankind than as one of the species.'''
** No. 1 (1 March 1711)

* To be exempt from the passions with which others are tormented, is the only pleasing solitude.
** No. 4 (5 March 1711)

* I would... earnestly advise them for their good to order this paper to be punctually served up, and to be looked upon as a part of the tea equipage.
** No. 10 (11 March 1711)

* '''I shall endeavor to enliven morality with wit, and to temper wit with morality.'''
** No. 10 (11 March 1711)

* '''True happiness is of a retired nature, and an enemy to pomp and noise; it arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one's self, and in the next, from the friendship and conversation of a few select companions.'''
** No. 15 (March 17, 1711)

* '''That nothing is capable of being well set to Musick, that is not Nonsense.'''
** No. 18 (March 21, 1711)

* '''The Fear of Death often proves Mortal''', and sets People on Methods to save their Lives, which infallibly destroy them.
** No. 25 (29 March 1711)

* It is indeed very possible, that the Persons we laugh at may in the main of their Characters be much wiser Men than our selves; but if they would have us laugh at them, they must fall short of us in those Respects which stir up this Passion.
** No. 47 (24 April 1711)

* In all thy humours, whether grave or mellow, &lt;br/&gt; Thou 'rt such a touchy, testy, pleasant fellow, &lt;br/&gt; Hast so much wit and mirth and spleen about thee, &lt;br/&gt; There is no living with thee, nor without thee.
** No. 68 (18 May 1911)

* '''There is not a more unhappy being than a superannuated idol.'''
** No. 73 (24 May 1711)

* A man that has a taste of music, painting, or architecture, is like one that has another sense, when compared with such as have no relish of those arts.
** No. 93 (16 June 1711)

* '''Of all the diversions of life, there is none so proper to fill up its empty spaces as the reading of useful and entertaining authors.'''
** No. 94 (18 June 1711)

* There is not so variable a thing in Nature as a lady's head-dress.
** No. 98 (22 June 1711)

* &quot;Censure,&quot; says [[Jonathan Swift|a late ingenious author]], &quot;is the tax a man plays for being eminent.&quot; It is a folly for an eminent man to think of escaping it, and a weakness to be affected with it. '''All the illustrious persons of antiquity, and indeed of every age in the world, have passed through this fiery persecution. There is no defense against reproach but obscurity'''; it is a kind of comitant to greatness, as satires and invectives were an essential part of a Roman triumph.
** No. 101 (26 June 1711)

* '''If men of eminence are exposed to censure on one hand, they are as much liable to flattery on the other. If they receive reproaches which are not due to them, they likewise receive praises which they do not deserve.''' In a word, the man in a high post is never regarded with an indifferent eye, but always considered as a friend or an enemy. For this reason persons in great stations have seldom their true characters drawn till several years after their deaths. Their personal friendships and enmities must cease, and the parties they were engaged in be at an end, before their faults or their virtues can have justice done them. When writers have the least opportunity of knowing the truth, they are in the best disposition to tell it. &lt;br/&gt; It is therefore the privilege of posterity to adjust the characters of illustrious persons, and to set matters right between those antagonists who by their rivalry for greatness divided a whole age into factions.
** No. 101 (26 June 1711), this has sometimes been quoted as &quot;It is the privilege of posterity to set matters right between those antagonists who, by their rivalry for greatness, divided a whole age&quot;.

[[File:A Commonwealth Cross of Sacrifice or War Cross.jpg|thumb|right|Much might be said on both sides.]]
* [[Sunday]] clears away the rust of the whole week.
** No. 112 (9 July 1711)

* Exercise ferments the humors, casts them into their proper channels, throws off redundancies, and helps nature in those secret distributions, without which the body cannot subsist in its vigor, nor the soul act with cheerfulness.
** No. 115 (12 July 1711)

* When I consider the Question, Whether there are such Persons in the World as those we call Witches? my Mind is divided between the two opposite Opinions; or rather (to speak my Thoughts freely) I believe in general that there is, and has been such a thing as Witchcraft; but at the same time can give no Credit to any Particular Instance of it.
** No. 117 (14 July 1711)

* Animals in their generation are wiser than the sons of men; but their wisdom is confined to a few particulars, and lies in a very narrow compass.
** No. 120 (18 July 1711)

* The most violent appetites in all creatures are lust and hunger: the first is a perpetual call upon them to propogate their kind; the latter to preserve themselves.
** No. 120 (18 July 1711)

* '''Much might be said on both sides.'''
** No. 122 (20 July 1711)

* '''A man's first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart; his next to escape the censures of the world''': if the last interferes with the former, it ought to be entirely neglected; but otherwise there cannot be a greater satisfaction to an honest mind, than to see those approbations which it gives itself seconded by the applauses of the public: a man is more sure of his conduct, when the verdict which he passes upon his own behaviour is thus warranted and confirmed by the opinion of all that know him.
** On &quot;[[w:Roger de Coverley|Sir Roger]]&quot;, in No. 122 (20 July 1711)

* Authors have established it as a kind of rule, that a man ought to be dull sometimes; as the most severe reader makes allowances for many rests and nodding places in a voluminous writer.
** No. 124 (23 July 1711)

* A cloudy day or a little sunshine have as great an influence on many constitutions as the most real blessings or misfortunes.
** No. 162 (5 September 1711)

* Mutability of temper and inconsistency with ourselves is the greatest weakness of human nature.
** No. 162 (5 September 1711)

* The circumstance which gives authors an advantage above all these great masters, is this, that they can multiply their originals; or rather, can make copies of their works, to what number they please, which shall be as valuable as the originals themselves.
** No. 166 (10 September 1711)

* '''Books are the legacies that a great genius leaves to mankind''', which are delivered down from generation to generation, as presents to the posterity of those who are yet unborn.
** No. 166 (10 September 1711)

* Man is subject to innumerable pains and sorrows by the very condition of humanity, and yet, as if nature had not sown evils enough in life, we are continually adding grief to grief, and aggravating the common calamity by our cruel treatment of one another.
** No. 169 (13 September 1711)

* '''Good nature is more agreeable in conversation than wit, and gives a certain air to the countenance which is more amiable than beauty.'''
** No. 169 (13 September 1711)

* I have somewhere met with the epitaph of a charitable man, which has very much pleased me. I cannot recollect the words, but the sense of it is to this purpose; '''''What I spent I lost; what I possessed is left to others; what I gave away remains with me.'''''
** No. 177 (22 September 1711)

* I would fain ask one of these bigotted Infidels, supposing all the great Points of Atheism … were laid together and formed into a kind of Creed, according to the Opinions of the most celebrated Atheists; I say, supposing such a Creed as this were formed, and imposed upon any one People in the World, whether it would not require an infinitely greater Measure of Faith, than any Set of Articles which they so violently oppose.
** [http://archive.twoaspirinsandacomedy.com/spectator/spectator.php?line=185 No. 185] (2 October 1711).
** Often misquoted as &quot;To be an atheist requires an infinitely greater measure of faith than to receive all the great truths which atheism would deny.&quot;

* The man who will live above his present circumstances is in great danger of living in a little time much beneath them; or as the Italian proverb runs, &quot;The man who lives by hope, will die by hunger.&quot;
** No. 191 (9 October 1711)

* Were I to prescribe a rule for drinking, it should be formed upon a saying quoted by Sir [[William Temple]]: the first glass for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the fourth for mine enemies.
** No. 195 (13 October 1711)

[[File:Reconciliation by Vasconcellos, Coventry.jpg|thumb|right|A man must be excessively stupid, as well as uncharitable, who believes that there is no virtue but on his own side, and that there are not men as honest as himself who may differ from him in political principles.]]
* I consider an human soul without education like marble in the quarry, which shews none of its inherent beauties till the skill of the polisher fetches out the colours, makes the surface shine, and discovers every ornamental cloud, spot and vein that runs through the body of it.
** No. 215 (6 November 1711)

* What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to the human soul.
** No. 215 (6 November 1711)

* Discretion is a perfection of reason, and a guide to us in all the duties of life.
** No. 225 (17 November 1711)

* A just and reasonable modesty does not only recommend eloquence, but sets off every great talent which a man can be possessed of.
** No. 231 (24 November 1711)

* Mere bashfulness without merit is awkward; and merit without modesty, insolent. But modest merit has a double claim to acceptance, and generally meets with as many patrons as beholders.
** No. 231 (24 November 1711)

* Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue.
** No. 231 (24 November 1711)

* '''A man must be excessively stupid, as well as uncharitable, who believes that there is no virtue but on his own side, and that there are not men as honest as himself who may differ from him in political principles.'''
** No. 243 (8 December 1711)

[[File:Thanksgiving chapel interior.jpg|thumb|right|Some virtues are only seen in affliction and some in prosperity.]]
* '''What an absurd thing it is to pass over all the valuable parts of a man, and fix our attention on his infirmities.'''
** No. 249 (15 December 1711)

* Were not this desire of fame very strong, the difficulty of obtaining it, and the danger of losing it when obtained, would be sufficient to deter a man from so vain a pursuit.
** No. 255 (22 December 1711)

* Admiration is a very short-lived passion that immediately decays upon growing familiar with its object, unless it be still fed with fresh discoveries, and kept alive by a new perpetual succession of miracles rising up to its view.
** No. 256 (24 December 1711)
** Often only the first half of this statement is quoted

* Ambition raises a secret tumult in the soul, it inflames the mind, and puts it into a violent hurry of thought.
** No. 256 (24 December 1711)

* '''Some virtues are only seen in affliction and some in prosperity.'''
** No. 257 (25 December 1711)

* I have often thought, says Sir Roger, it happens very well that Christmas should fall out in the Middle of the Winter
** No. 269 (8 January 1712)

[[File:Double-alaskan-rainbow.jpg|thumb|right|Health and cheerfulness mutually beget each other.]]
* '''A true critic ought to dwell rather upon excellencies than imperfections, to discover the concealed beauties of a writer, and communicate to the world such things as are worth their observation.'''
** No. 291 (2 February 1712)

* These widows, sir, are the most perverse creatures in the world.
** No. 335 (25 March 1712)

* '''Death only closes a Man's Reputation, and determines it as good or bad.'''
** No. 349 (10 April 1712); famously seen on the brothel wall in the film ''[[w:Easy Rider|Easy Rider]]''.

* Mirth is like a flash of lightning, that breaks through a gloom of clouds, and glitters for a moment; cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind, and fills it with a steady and perpetual serenity.
** No. 381 (17 May 1712)

* Sir Roger made several reflections on the greatness of the British Nation; as, that one Englishman could beat three Frenchmen; that we could never be in danger of Popery so long as we took care of our fleet; that the Thames was the noblest river in Europe...with many other honest prejudices which naturally cleave to the heart of a true Englishman.
** No. 383 (20 May 1712)

* '''Cheerfulness is...the best promoter of health.'''
** No. 387 (24 May 1712)

* '''Health and cheerfulness mutually beget each other.'''
** No. 387 (24 May 1712)

[[File:CL0024+17.jpg|thumb|right|The spacious firmament on high, &lt;br/&gt; With all the blue ethereal sky, &lt;br/&gt; And spangled heavens, a shining frame, &lt;br/&gt; Their great Original proclaim.]]
* Everything that is new or uncommon raises a pleasure in the imagination, because it fills the soul with an agreeable surprise, gratifies its curiosity, and gives it an idea of which it was not before possessed.
** No. 412 (23 June 1712)

* The Lord my pasture shall prepare, &lt;br/&gt; And feed me with a shepherd's care; &lt;br/&gt; His presence shall my wants supply, &lt;br/&gt; And guard me with a watchful eye.
** No. 444 (26 July 1712)

* Our delight in any particular study, art, or science rises and improves in proportion to the application which we bestow upon it. Thus, what was at first an exercise becomes at length an entertainment.
** No. 447 (2 August 1712)

* When all thy mercies, O my God, &lt;br/&gt; My rising soul surveys, &lt;br/&gt; '''Transported with the view, I'm lost &lt;br/&gt; In wonder, love and praise.'''
** No. 453 (9 August 1712)

* '''The spacious firmament on high, &lt;br/&gt; With all the blue ethereal sky, &lt;br/&gt; And spangled heavens, a shining frame, &lt;br/&gt; Their great Original proclaim.'''
** No. 465, ''Ode'' (23 August 1712).
** Also in ''The Polite Arts'' (1749), Chap. XXI. &quot;Of Lyrick Poetry.&quot; 

* Soon as the evening shades prevail, &lt;br/&gt; The moon takes up the wondrous tale, &lt;br/&gt; And nightly to the listening earth &lt;br/&gt; Repeats the story of her birth; &lt;br/&gt; While all the stars that round her burn, &lt;br/&gt; And all the planets in their turn, &lt;br/&gt; Confirm the tidings as they roll, &lt;br/&gt; And spread the truth from pole to pole.
** No. 465, ''Ode'' (23 August 1712)

* What though no real voice nor sound &lt;br/&gt; Amid their radiant orbs be found ; &lt;br/&gt; In reason's ear they all rejoice, &lt;br/&gt; And utter forth a glorious voice, &lt;br/&gt; Forever singing as they shine, &lt;br/&gt; &quot;The Hand that made us divine.&quot;
** No. 465, ''Ode'' (23 August 1712)

* A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
** No. 475 (4 September 1712)

* Method is not less requisite in ordinary conversation than in writing, provided a man would talk to make himself understood.
** No. 476 (5 September 1712)

* Our disputants put me in mind of the skuttle fish, that when he is unable to extricate himself, blackens all the water about him, till he becomes invisible.
** No. 476 (5 September 1712)

* Irregularity and want of method are only supportable in men of great learning or genius, who are often too full to be exact, and therefore choose to throw down their pearls in heaps before the reader, rather than be at the pains of stringing them.
** No. 476 (5 September 1712)

[[File:Georges Seurat 019.jpg|thumb|right|Man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter.]]
* '''I value my garden more for being full of blackbirds than cherries, and very frankly give them fruit for their songs.'''
** No. 477 (6 September 1712)

* The fraternity of the henpecked.
** No. 482 (12 September 1712)

* '''If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter.'''
** No. 494 (26 September 1712)

* There is nothing which we receive with so much reluctance as advice.
** No. 512 (17 October 1712)

* '''If we hope for what we are not likely to possess, we act and think in vain, and make life a greater dream and shadow than it really is.'''
** No. 535 (13 November 1712)

* An ostentatious man will rather relate a blunder or an absurdity he has committed, than be debarred from talking of his own dear person.
** No. 562 (2 July 1714)

* '''A man should always consider how much he has more than he wants.'''
** No. 574 (30 July 1714)

* '''Upon the whole, a contented mind is the greatest blessing a man can enjoy in this world.'''
** No. 574 (30 July 1714)

* We are always doing something for Posterity, but I would fain see Posterity do something for us.
** No. 587 (20 August 1714)

=== ''The Tatler'' (1711–1714) ===
* Men may change their climate, but they cannot change their nature. A man that goes out a fool cannot ride or sail himself into common sense.
** No. 93

* Silence never shows itself to so great an advantage, as when it is made the reply to calumny and defamation, provided that we give no just occasion for them.
** No. 133

* A misery is not to be measured from the nature of the evil, but from the temper of the sufferer.
** No. 146

* '''Reading is to the mind, what exercise is to the body.''' As by the one, health is preserved, strengthened, and invigorated: by the other, virtue (which is the health of the mind) is kept alive, cherished, and confirmed.
** No. 147

* '''A cheerful temper joined with innocence will make beauty attractive, knowledge delightful and wit good-natured.'''
** No. 192

* Advertisements are of great use to the vulgar. First of all, as they are instruments of ambition. A man that is by no means big enough for the Gazette, may easily creep into the advertisements; by which means we often see an apothecary in the same paper of news with a plenipotentiary, or a running footman with an ambassador.
** No. 224

[[File:Caspar David Friedrich - Wanderer above the sea of fog.jpg|thumb|right|Discretion has large and extended views, and, like a well-formed eye, commands a whole horizon: cunning is a kind of short-sightedness, that discovers the minutest objects which are near at hand, but is not able to discern things at a distance.]]
* '''The great art in writing advertisements is the finding out a proper method to catch the reader's eye; without which a good thing may pass over unobserved, or be lost among commissions of bankrupt.'''
** No. 224

[[File:Brocken Spectre at Peak Korzhenevskaya.jpg|thumb|right|There are many more shining qualities in the mind of man, but there is none so useful as discretion...]]
* I Have often thought if the minds of men were laid open, we should see but little difference between that of the wise man and that of the fool. There are infinite reveries, numberless extravagances, and a perpetual train of vanities which pass through both. The great difference is, that the first knows how to pick and cull his thoughts for conversation, by suppressing some, and communicating others; whereas the other lets them all indifferently fly out in words.
** No. 225

* '''There are many more shining qualities in the mind of man, but there is none so useful as discretion'''; it is this, indeed, which gives a value to all the rest, which sets them at work in their proper times and places, and turns them to the advantage of the person who is possessed of them. Without it, learning is pedantry, and wit impertinence; virtue itself looks like weakness; the best parts only qualify a man to be more sprightly in errors, and active to his own prejudice.
** No. 225

* '''The discreet man finds out the talents of those he converses with, and knows how to apply them to proper uses.''' Accordingly, if we look into particular communities and divisions of men, we may observe that it is the discreet man, not the witty, nor the learned, nor the brave, who guides the conversation, and gives measures to the society.
** No. 225

* '''Though a man has all other perfections, and wants discretion, he will be of no great consequence in the world'''; but if he has this single talent in perfection, and but a common share of others, he may do what he pleases in his station of life.
** No. 225

[[File:Hoag's object.jpg|thumb|right|The cast of mind which is natural to a discreet man, make him look forward into futurity, and consider what will be his condition millions of ages hence, as well as what it is at present.]]
* '''At the same time that I think discretion the most useful talent a man can be master of, I look upon cunning to be the accomplishment of little, mean, ungenerous minds.''' Discretion points out the noblest ends to us, and pursues the most proper and laudable methods of attaining them: cunning has only private selfish aims, and sticks at nothing which may make them succeed. '''Discretion has large and extended views, and, like a well-formed eye, commands a whole horizon: cunning is a kind of short-sightedness, that discovers the minutest objects which are near at hand, but is not able to discern things at a distance. Discretion the more it is discovered, gives a greater authority to the person who possesses it: cunning, when it is once detected, loses its force, and makes a man incapable of bringing about even those events which he might have done had he passed only for a plain man.''' Discretion is the perfection of reason, and a guide to us in all the duties of life: cunning is a kind of instinct, that only looks out after our immediate interest and welfare. Discretion is only found in men of strong sense and good understandings, cunning is often to be met with in brutes themselves, and in persons who are but the fewest removes from them.
** No. 225

* '''Cunning is only the mimic of discretion, and may pass upon weak men in the same manner as vivacity is often mistaken for wit, and gravity for wisdom.'''
** No. 225

* '''The cast of mind which is natural to a discreet man, make him look forward into futurity, and consider what will be his condition millions of ages hence, as well as what it is at present.''' He knows that the misery or happiness which are reserved for him in another world, lose nothing of their reality by being placed at so great a distance from him. The objects do not appear little to him because they are remote. He considers that those pleasures and pains which lie hid in eternity, approach nearer to him every moment, and will be present with him in their full weight and measure, as much as those pains and pleasures which he feels at this very instant. For this reason he is careful to secure to himself that which is the proper happiness of his nature, and the ultimate design of his being. He carries his thoughts to the end of every action, and considers the most distant as well as the most immediate effects of it. He supersedes every little prospect of gain and advantage which offers itself here, if he does not find it consistent with his views of an hereafter. '''In a word, his hopes are full of immortality, his schemes are large and glorious, and his conduct suitable to one who knows his true interest, and how to pursue it by proper methods.'''
** No. 225

=== ''The Freeholder'' (1715–1716) ===
* Arguments out of a pretty mouth are unanswerable.
** No. 4 (2 January 1716)

* '''There is no greater sign of a general decay of virtue in a nation, than a want of zeal in its inhabitants for the good of their country.'''
** No. 5 (6 January 1716)

* Though there is a benevolence due to all mankind, none can question but a superior degree of it is to be paid to a father, a wife, or a child. In the same manner, though our love should reach to the whole species, a greater proportion of it should exert itself towards that community in which Providence has placed us. This is our proper sphere of action, the province allotted us for the exercise of our civil virtues, and in which alone we have opportunities of expressing our good-will to mankind.
** No. 5 (6 January 1716)

* Prejudice and self-sufficiency naturally proceed from inexperience of the world, and ignorance of mankind.
** No. 30 (2 April 1716)

* '''When men are easy in their circumstances, they are naturally enemies to innovations.'''
** No. 42 (16 May 1716)

=== ''The Drummer'' (1716) ===
[[File:Carl Spitzweg - Aschermittwoch.jpg|thumb|right|We are growing serious, and, &lt;br/&gt; Let me tell you, that's the very next step to being dull.]]

* Round-heads and Wooden-shoes are standing jokes.
** prologue, l. 8

* '''We are growing serious, and, &lt;br/&gt; Let me tell you, that's the very next step to being dull.'''
** Act IV, sc. vi

* Antidotes are what you take to prevent dotes.
** Act IV, sc. vi

* There is nothing more requisite in business than dispatch.
** Act V, sc. 1

{{disputed begin}}

== Disputed ==
* If you wish success in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother and hope your guardian genius.
** The earliest appearance of this proverb yet located is in ''Eliza Cook's Journal'' Vol. 11, (1854), p. 128, and the earliest attribution to Addison yet found is in Henry Southgate, ed., ''[https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_New_Era/XD8DAAAAYAAJ?hl=en&amp;gbpv=1&amp;dq=addison%20%22hope%20your%20guardian%20genius%22&amp;pg=PA1&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;bsq=addison%20%22hope%20your%20guardian%20genius%22 Many Thoughts of Many Minds]'' (1862), p. 600.

* What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.
** This appears as an anonymous proverb in ''Frank Leslie's Sunday Magazine'' Vol. XIII, (January - June 1883) edited by T. De Witt Talmage, and apparently only in recent years has it become attributed to Addison.

* If men would consider not so much where they differ, as wherein they agree, there would be far less of uncharitableness and angry feeling in the world.
** Attributed to &quot;Addison&quot; in ''A Dictionary of Thoughts : Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, both Ancient and Modern'' (1908) edited by [[Tryon Edwards]], p. 117, but this might be the later &quot;Mr. Addison&quot; who was credited with publishing ''Interesting Anecdotes, Memoirs, Allegories, Essays, and Poetical Fragments'' (1794).

* Tradition is an important help to history, but its statements should be carefully scrutinized before we rely on them.
** Attributed to &quot;Addison&quot; in ''A Dictionary of Thoughts : Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, both Ancient and Modern'' (1908) edited by [[Tryon Edwards]], p. 580, but this might be the later &quot;Mr. Addison&quot; who was credited with publishing ''Interesting Anecdotes, Memoirs, Allegories, Essays, and Poetical Fragments'' (1794).

* The greatest sweetener of human life is Friendship. To raise this to the highest pitch of enjoyment, is a secret which but few discover.
** As quoted in ''Hugs for Girlfriends : Stories, Sayings, and Scriptures to Encourage and Inspire'' (2001) by Philis Boultinghouse and LeAnn Weiss, p. 7; there seem to be no published sources available for this statement prior to 2001.

{{disputed end}}
{{Misattributed begin}}

== Misattributed ==
:&lt;small&gt;Alphabetized by author&lt;/small&gt;

* A little nonsense now and then &lt;br/&gt; Is relished by the wisest men.
** This appears to be an anonymous proverb of unknown authorship, only occasionally attributed to Addison.

* With regard to donations always expect the most from prudent people, who keep their own accounts.
** This is attributed to Addison in ''The Columbia Dictionary of Quotations'' (1993) with a citation of &quot;Economy and Benevolence&quot; in ''Interesting Anecdotes, Memoirs, Allegories, Essays, and Poetical Fragments'' (1794) but that was a publication of a contemporary &quot;Mr. Addison&quot; in several volumes, and not the poet. Vol. III of that publication (in 1796), on page 205, does contain these lines, but as part of an anonymous ancecdote.

* Reading is a basic tool in the living of a good life.
** The earliest attributions of this remark to anyone are in 1941, to [[Mortimer Adler]], in ''How To Read A Book'' (1940), although this actually a paraphrased shortening of a statement in his preface: Reading — as explained (and defended) in this book — is a basic tool in the living of a good life.

* When you are at Rome, live as Romans live.
** St. [[w:Ambrose|Ambrose]], ''Si fueris Romæ, Romano vivito more'' as translated in ''Latin Proverbs and Quotations'' (1869) by Alfred Henderson; very commonly paraphrased as &quot;When in Rome do as the Romans do&quot;.

* To say that authority, whether secular or religious, supplies no ground for morality is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction.
** Sir [[Alfred Jules Ayer]], in his &quot;The Meaning of Life&quot;, collected in ''The Meaning of Life, and Other Essays'' (1990)

* There is not any present moment that is unconnected with some future one. The life of every man is a continued chain of incidents, each link of which hangs upon the former. The transition from cause to effect, from event to event, is often carried on by secret steps, which our foresight cannot divine, and our sagacity is unable to trace. Evil may at some future period bring forth good; and good may bring forth evil, both equally unexpected.
** Very often attributed to Addison, this is in fact by [[w:Hugh Blair|Hugh Blair]], published in Blair's ''Sermons'' (1815), Vol. 1, pp. 196-197.

* To a man of pleasure every moment appears to be lost, which partakes not of the vivacity of amusement.
** Very often attributed to Addison, this is apparently a paraphrase of a statement by [[w:Hugh Blair|Hugh Blair]], published in Blair's ''Sermons'' (1815), Vol. 1, p. 219, where he mentions &quot;men of pleasure and the men of business&quot;, and that &quot;To the former every moment appears to be lost, which partakes not of the vivacity of amusement&quot;.

* The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for.
** Widely quoted as an Addison maxim this is actually by the American clergyman George Washington Burnap (1802-1859), published in Burnap's ''The Sphere and Duties of Woman : A Course of Lectures'' (1848), Lecture IV.

* Justice is an unassailable fortress, built on the brow of a mountain which cannot be overthrown by the violence of torrents, nor demolished by the force of armies.
** [[w:Moncure D. Conway|Moncure Daniel Conway]], in ''The Sacred Anthology (Oriental) : A Book of Ethnical Scriptures'' 5th edition (1877), p. 386; this statement appears beneath an Arabian proverb, and [[Upton Sinclair]] later attributed it to the ''[[Qur'an]]'', in ''The Cry for Justice : An Anthology of the Literature of Social Protest'' (1915), p. 475.

* It is only imperfection that complains of what is imperfect. The more perfect we are the more gentle and quiet we become towards the defects of others.
** [[François Fénelon]], in [http://books.google.com/books?id=qJ4rAAAAYAAJ ''Selections from the Writings of Fenelon: With an appendix, containing a Memoir of his Life'' (1829) as translated by A Lady (Eliza Lee Cabot Follen)], Letter 37, p. 189.

* He that would pass the latter part of life with honour and decency, must, when he is young, consider that he shall one day be old; and remember, when he is old, that he has once been young.
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'', no. 50 (8 September 1750); many of Johnson's remarks have been attributed to Addison

* No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority.
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'', no. 148 (17 August 1751)

* That he delights in the misery of others no man will confess, and yet what other motive can make a father cruel?
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'', no. 148 (17 August 1751)

* The unjustifiable severity of a parent is loaded with this aggravation, that those whom he injures are always in his sight.
** [[Samuel Johnson]] in ''The Rambler'' no. 148 (17 August 1751)

* Education...is a companion which no misfortunes can depress, no clime destroy, no enemy alienate, no despotism enslave: at home a friend, abroad an introduction, in solitude a solace, in society an ornament: it chastens vice, it guides virtue, it gives at once a grace and government to genius. Without it, what is man? A splendid slave, a reasoning savage.
** Though sometimes attributed to Addison, this actually comes from a speech delivered by the Irish lawyer Charles Phillips in 1817, in the case of O'Mullan v. M'Korkill, published in ''Irish Eloquence: The Speeches of the Celebrated Irish Orators'' (1834) pp. 91-92.

* They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.
** Attributed to Addison in ''(K)new Words: Redefine Your Communication'' (2005), by Gloria Pierre, p. 120, there are no indications of such a statement in Addison's writings.

* Plenty of people wish to become devout, but no one wishes to be humble.
** A translation of one of [[François de La Rochefoucauld|La Rochefoucauld]]'s maxims, published posthumously in 1693. In the original: &quot;''Force gens veulent être dévots, mais personne ne veut être humble.''&quot;

* The beloved of the Almighty are: the rich who have the humility of the poor, and the poor who have the magnanimity of the rich.
** [[Saadi]] as translated in ''The Gulistān : Or, Rose-garden, of Shek̲h̲ Muslihu'd-dīn Sādī of Shīrāz'' as translated by Edward Backhouse Eastwick (1880), p. 203

* Jesters do often prove prophets.
** Not found in Addison's works, and &quot;Jesters do oft prove prophets&quot; is actually [[William Shakespeare]], in [[King Lear|''King Lear'']], Act V, sc. iii

* The utmost extent of man's knowledge, is to know that he knows nothing.
** These words, sometimes attributed to Addison, are not found in his works, but in ''The Spectator'', no. 54, he translates the following words of [[Socrates]], as quoted in [[Plato]]'s ''Apology'': &quot;When I left him, I reasoned thus with myself: I am wiser than this man, for neither of us appears to know anything great and good; but '''he fancies he knows something, although he knows nothing; whereas I, as I do not know anything, so I do not fancy I do. In this trifling particular, then, I appear to be wiser than he, because I do not fancy I know what I do not know.'''&quot;

* The chief ingredients in the composition of those qualities that gain esteem and praise, are good nature, truth, good sense, and good breeding.
** [[William Temple]], in &quot;Heads Designed for an Essay on Conversation&quot; in ''The Works of Sir William Temple, Bart. in Four Volumes'' (1757), Vol. III, p. 547

* The union of the Word and the Mind produces that mystery which is called Life... Learn deeply of the Mind and its mystery, for therein lies the secret of immortality.
** &quot;[http://magdelene.net/Thoth%20Hermes%20Trismegistus.htm The Life and Teachings of Thoth Hermes Trismegistus]&quot;, in ''The Secret Teachings of All Ages'' (1928) by the Canadian occultist [[w:Manly Hall|Manly Hall]]; a few quotation websites credit this to Addison.
{{Misattributed end}}

== Quotes about Addison ==
* In our way to the Club to-night, when I regretted that [[Oliver Goldsmith|Goldsmith]] would, upon every occasion, endeavour to shine, by which he often exposed himself; Mr. Langton observed, that he was not like Addison, who was content with the fame of his writings, and did not aim also at excellency in conversation, for which he found himself unfit; and that he said to a lady, who complained of his having talked little in company, &quot;Madam, I have but nine-pence in ready money, but I can draw for a thousand pounds&quot;.
** [[James Boswell]], in ''The Life of Samuel Johnson'' (1791), mentioning a contrast made of Addison's character and that of Oliver Goldsmith, in his accounts of 7 May 1773

* The last place in London to which I will ask the reader to accompany me with Addison is one which has changed but little since his time, and has been of late very much in all our thoughts—I mean Westminster Abbey. He tells us that in his serious and pensive moods he very often walked there by himself, where the gloominess of the place, with the solemnity of the building, and the condition of the people who lie in it, filled his mind with a melancholy, or rather a thoughtfulness, that was not unpleasing.
** {{cite journal|author=James G. Frazer|authorlink=James George Frazer|title=London Life in the Time of Addison|date=January 1922|journal=The Quarterly Review|pages=18–32|url=https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=hvd.32044092529320;view=1up;seq=44}} quote p. 32

* In the formal treatises Addison has three subjects: religion, classical literature, and Whig politics. His greatest delight in literature was the study of Latin poetry; and he was himself a most skilful writer of Latin verse—he is indeed more a poet in Latin than in English.
** A. C. Guthkelch {{cite journal|title=The Prose Works of Joseph Addison|volume=225|pages=238–250|journal=[[w:Quarterly Review|The Quarterly Review]]|url=https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=chi.78280796;view=1up;seq=258}} January 1916, quote p. 242

* '''Whoever wishes to attain an English style, familiar, but not coarse, and elegant, but not ostentatious, must give his days and nights to the volumes of Addison.'''
** [[Samuel Johnson]], ''Lives of the Most Eminent English Poets'' (1779-81), &quot;Addison&quot;

* As a man, he may not have deserved the adoration which he received from those who, bewitched by his fascinating society, and indebted for all the comforts of life to his generous and delicate friendship, worshipped him nightly, in his favourite temple at Button’s. But, after full inquiry and impartial reflection, we have long been convinced that he deserved as much love and esteem as can be justly claimed by any of our infirm and erring race. Some blemishes may undoubtedly be detected in his character; but the more carefully it is examined, the more it will appear, to use the phrase of the old anatomists, sound in the noble parts, free from all taint of perfidy, of cowardice, of cruelty, of ingratitude, of envy. Men may easily be named, in whom some particular good disposition has been more conspicuous than in Addison. But the just harmony of qualities, the exact temper between the stern and the humane virtues, the habitual observance of every law, not only of moral rectitude, but of moral grace and dignity, distinguish him from all men who have been tried by equally strong temptations, and about whose conduct we possess equally full information.
** [[Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1st Baron Macaulay|Thomas Macaulay]] in &quot;Essay on the Life and Writings of Addison&quot;, in ''Essays'' Vol. V (1866) &lt;!-- Hurd and Houghton --&gt;

* Just men, by whom impartial laws were given; &lt;br/&gt; And saints who taught and led the way to heaven. &lt;br/&gt; Ne'er to these chambers, where the mighty rest, &lt;br/&gt; Since their foundation came a nobler guest;&lt;br /&gt;Nor e’er was to the bowers of bliss conveyed &lt;br/&gt; A fairer spirit or more welcome shade.
**[[Thomas Tickell]], ''On the Death of Mr. Addison'' (1721)

* '''If in the stage I seek to soothe my care, &lt;br/&gt; I meet his soul which breathes in [[w:Joseph_Addison#Cato|Cato]] there'''; &lt;br/&gt; If pensive to the rural shades I rove, &lt;br/&gt; His shape o'ertakes me in the lonely grove; &lt;br/&gt; 'Twas there of just and good he reasoned strong, &lt;br/&gt; Cleared some great truth, or raised some serious song: &lt;br/&gt; There patient showed us the wise course to steer, &lt;br/&gt; A candid censor, and a friend severe; &lt;br/&gt; '''There taught us how to live; and (oh, too high &lt;br/&gt; The price for knowledge!) taught us how to die.'''
**[[Thomas Tickell]], ''On the Death of Mr. Addison'' (1721)

*The prose of Whig and Tory polemics contained a larger proportion of stuff destined to endure: Swift and Addison,as journalists spoke to the their day but have been overheard by the ages.
**[[G. M. Trevelyan]].&quot;England Under Queen Anne, Blenheim&quot;, Fontana Library,1965, Page 100

*The first ''English'' Writer who compos'd a regular Tragedy and infus'd a Spirit of Elegance thro' every Part of it, was the illustrious Mr. ''Addison''. His C&lt;small&gt;ATO&lt;/small&gt; is a Master-piece both with regard to the Diction, and to the Beauty and Harmony of the Numbers. The Character of ''Cato'' is, in my Opinion, vastly superiour to that of ''Cornelia'' in the P&lt;small&gt;OMPEY&lt;/small&gt; of ''Corneille'': For ''Cato'' is great without any Thing like Fustian, and ''Cornelia'', who besides is not a necessary Character, tends sometimes to bombast. Mr. ''Addison'''s ''Cato'' appears to me the greatest Character that was ever brought upon any Stage, but then the rest of them don't correspond to the Dignity of it: And this dramatic Piece so excellently well writ, is disfigur'd by a dull Love Plot, which spreads a certain Languor over the whole, that quite murders it.
**[[Voltaire]], ''Letters Concerning the English Nation'' (1733), pp. 178-179

* He dismissed his physicians, and with them all hopes of life. But with his hopes of life he dismissed not his concern for the living, but sent for a youth nearly related and finely accomplished, but not above being the better for good impressions from a dying friend. He came; but, life now glimmering in the socket, the dying friend was silent. After a decent and proper pause, the youth said, &quot;Dear sir, you sent for me: I believe and I hope that you have some commands; I shall hold them most sacred.&quot; May distant ages not only hear, but feel, the reply! Forcibly grasping the youth's hand, he softly said, &quot;See in what peace a Christian can die!&quot; He spoke with difficulty and soon expired. Through grace Divine, how great is man!
** [[Edward Young]] in [http://books.google.com/books?id=foM1AAAAMAAJ ''Conjectures on Original Composition'' (1759)]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Wikisource author}}
* [http://www.accd.edu/sac/english/bailey/addison.htm Joseph Addison page at San Antonio College]
* [http://eir.library.utoronto.ca/rpo/display/poet2.html Selected poetry at the University of Toronto]
* [http://eee.uci.edu/~papyri/Addison/ Prose and poetry of Addison] (Latin only)
* [http://www.constitution.org/addison/cato_play.htm The play ''Cato'' online] This play was one of [[George Washington]]'s favorites.

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  <page>
    <title>Homosexuality</title>
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      <text bytes="100466" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Homosexuality|Homosexuality]]''' is romantic attraction, sexual attraction or sexual behavior between members of the same gender.

[[File:Gay Pride Flag.svg|thumb|Gay rights are human rights. ~ [[Hillary Clinton]]]]
[[File:Henry_Scott_Tuke_-_A_woodland_bather.jpg|thumb|right|&quot;Unasked by night; I am true Love, I fill &lt;br&gt;The hearts of boy and girl with mutual flame.&quot; &lt;br&gt;Then sighing said the other, &quot;Have thy will, &lt;br&gt;I am the Love that dare not speak its name.&quot; ~ [[w:Lord Alfred Douglas|Lord Alfred Douglas]]]]
[[File:Henry_Scott_Tuke_-_Lovers_of_the_Sun.jpg|thumb|right|If it be sin to love a lovely lad &lt;br&gt;Oh there sin I. ~ [[Richard Barnfield]]]]
[[File:Boucher Diane sortant du bain Louvre 2712.jpg|thumb|right|''Diane sortant du bain'' by [[w:Francois Bouche|Francois Bouche]]]]
[[File:Gay marriage protester outside the Minnesota Senate chamber.jpg|thumb|Some people are uncomfortable with gays, but your discomfort with my sexuality should not translate into me having less [[rights]] as an [[American]]. ~ [[Daayiee Abdullah]]]]
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929),_%22The_Bathers%22.jpg|thumb|right|Homosexuality is assuredly no advantage, but it is nothing to be ashamed of, no vice, no degradation, it cannot be classified as an illness. ~ [[Sigmund Freud]]]]
[[File:Крамской И.Н. Молитва Моисея после перехода израильтян через Черное море 1861.jpg|thumb|You shall not [[w:Homosexuality in the Hebrew Bible#Leviticus 18 and 20|lie with a male as with a woman]]; it is an [[w:Abomination (Bible)#Tōʻēḇā|abomination]]. ~ [[Moses]]]]
[[File:Wilhelm von Gloeden Nude boy.jpg|thumb|Wilhelm von Gloeden Nude boy]]
[[File:Gloeden, Wilhelm von (1856-1931) - n. 0241 - da - Amore e arte, p. 80.jpg|thumb|Gloeden, Wilhelm von (1856-1931) - n. 0241 - da - Amore e arte, p. 80]]
[[Image:Édouard-Henri Avril (19).jpg|thumb|[[Socrates]] and Alkibiades (Édouard-Henri Avril, 1860)]]
[[File:JackXArik.png|thumb|Artist illustration of &quot;Yaoi&quot;, depicting a homoerotic relationship between male characters]]
[[File:Gustave Courbet - Le Sommeil (1866), Paris, Petit Palais.jpg|thumb|[[Gustave Courbet]], 1866]]

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== A==
* Nowhere in the [[Quran]] does it say punish [[w:LGBT in Islam|homosexuals]]. And historians have also never found any case of the [[Prophet]] [[Muhammad]] dealing with homosexuality.
** [[Daayiee Abdullah]], as quoted in ''[http://www.moroccoworldnews.com/2015/05/159043/first-gay-imam-in-usa-says-quran-doesnt-call-for-punishment-of-homosexuals/ First Gay ‘Imam’ in USA Says ‘Quran Doesn’t Call for Punishment of Homosexuals’]'' (22 May 2015), ''{{w|Morocco World News}}''.

* When I graduated from [[high school]], I hoped that one day [[w:LGBT in the United States|gay Americans]] would be able to [[w:Same-sex marriage in the United States|get married]]. And now here I am 45 years later officiating [[same-sex marriage]]s—how can I not be optimistic that the [[future]] is bright?
** [[Daayiee Abdullah]], as quoted in ''[http://www.moroccoworldnews.com/2015/05/159043/first-gay-imam-in-usa-says-quran-doesnt-call-for-punishment-of-homosexuals/ First Gay ‘Imam’ in USA Says ‘Quran Doesn’t Call for Punishment of Homosexuals’]'' (22 May 2015), ''{{w|Morocco World News}}''.

* Some don't believe that homosexuals can be [[pious]]. But we can be just as good at our [[faith]] as anyone else. We are simply different from other folks, not less committed to our faith.
** [[Daayiee Abdullah]], as quoted in ''[http://www.moroccoworldnews.com/2015/05/159043/first-gay-imam-in-usa-says-quran-doesnt-call-for-punishment-of-homosexuals/ First Gay ‘Imam’ in USA Says ‘Quran Doesn’t Call for Punishment of Homosexuals’]'' (22 May 2015), ''{{w|Morocco World News}}''.

* '''Some people are uncomfortable with gays, but your discomfort with my sexuality should not translate into me having less [[rights]] as an [[American]].'''
** [[Daayiee Abdullah]], as quoted in ''[http://www.moroccoworldnews.com/2015/05/159043/first-gay-imam-in-usa-says-quran-doesnt-call-for-punishment-of-homosexuals/ First Gay ‘Imam’ in USA Says ‘Quran Doesn’t Call for Punishment of Homosexuals’]'' (22 May 2015), ''{{w|Morocco World News}}''.

* [[God]] tells us men fucking men is a terrible thing, but a father offering his two daughters, vestal [[Virginity|virgins]] no less, to a horde of horny buggers is [[heroic]]. Now that's straight. … God destroys the faggots with fire and brimstone. He turns a disobedient wife into salt. But he asks us to [[Idolatry|idolize]] [[Drunkenness|drunks]] [[Incest|who sleep with their daughters]] or offer them to a horny, unruly mob.
** [[Rabih Alameddine]] on the [[Bible|biblical narrative]] of Lot and his family confronting the inhabitants of [[Sodom and Gomorrah]], as quoted by Wail S. Hassan in ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=vA5pAgAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PA207 Immigrant Narratives: Orientalism and Cultural Translation in Arab American and Arab British Literature]'' (2011), Oxford University Press, {{ISBN|978-0-19-979206-1}}, page 207.

* Even though homosexuality is considered a sin in all the Semitic holy books, it does not require any punishment in this world. It is a sin that will accompany its committee in the life after death.
** [[Salman al-Ouda]] - [http://www.jpost.com/Middle-East/Saudi-cleric-Homosexuality-not-a-deviation-from-Islam-should-not-be-punished-452957 Saudi cleric: 'Homosexuality not a deviation from Islam, should not be punished'] (30 April 2016)

* Homosexuals are not deviating from Islam. Homosexuality is a grave [[w:Islamic views on sin|sin]], but those who say that homosexuals deviate from Islam are the real deviators. By condemning [[w:Death penalty for homosexuality|homosexuals to death]] they are committing a graver sin than homosexuality itself.
** [[Salman al-Ouda]] - [http://www.jpost.com/Middle-East/Saudi-cleric-Homosexuality-not-a-deviation-from-Islam-should-not-be-punished-452957 Saudi cleric: 'Homosexuality not a deviation from Islam, should not be punished'] (30 April 2016)

* Even though homosexuality does not distance oneself from Islam, the Islam does not encourage individuals who have same-sex attraction to show their feelings in public.
** [[Salman al-Ouda]] - [http://www.jpost.com/Middle-East/Saudi-cleric-Homosexuality-not-a-deviation-from-Islam-should-not-be-punished-452957 Saudi cleric: 'Homosexuality not a deviation from Islam, should not be punished'] (30 April 2016)

* Some highly religious people are outraged that atheists would publicly declare their lack of faith. Accordingly many of the people who belong to atheist associations hide their beliefs from most others, knowing from experience it could affect their employment, membership in other clubs, and social connections. It reminds me of the reaction of many high RWAs when homosexuals began to come out: “Don’t these people know they’re supposed to be ashamed of what they are?” That in turn reminded me of the reaction of many White supremists to the civil rights movement: “Don’t these n------ know they’re inferior and should never be treated as our equals?” Fortunately, eventually, minorities can overcome these reactions.
** [[Bob Altemeyer]], ''The Authoritarians'' (2006), p. 160

* ''Visible minorities''. Along this same line, high RWAs misperceive how diverse America is. It’s quite natural to think, when you are in the white, Christian, heterosexual, solvent majority that this is a ''huge'' majority. Minorities should speak out for their rights. If they don’t, they are (among other things) helping a lot of the majority remain steeped in ignorance. People can learn, but they won’t have a chance if the minorities remain invisible. I know, I know, the high RWAs will howl whatever chorus their leaders dictate when minorities become “uppity”. But recall the evidence that nothing improves authoritarians’ attitudes toward homosexuals as much as getting to know a homosexual--or learning that they’ve known one for years.
** [[Bob Altemeyer]], ''The Authoritarians'' (2006), p. 242

* On July 20, 2005, Canada legalized same-sex marriage. Homosexuals had already been getting legally married in most of the provinces for several years, so the federal law just established the right from sea to shining sea. By October 2006, about 12,500 same-sexed couples had gotten married. Getting the right acknowledged had been a struggle. Opponents attacked gay marriage primarily on two fronts: it would violate certain Biblical texts, and it would destroy the family. The first point is beyond dispute but unconvincing, I think, because everyone chooses which Biblical texts he'll follow and which he'll ignore. Numbers 15:32-36 says people who pick up sticks on the Sabbath should be executed, by stoning no less. But if you start chucking rocks at your neighbor next Sabbath as he mows his lawn, you'll probably get into a lot of trouble. &lt;br&gt;As for destroying the family, what's the evidence? And where's the outcry about divorce, a clear and present family wrecker, which Jesus most definitely condemned, which nevertheless happens quite commonly among religious opponents of same-sex marriage? Does same-sex marriage threaten the family, much less destroy it? Most of the homosexual couples in Canada who have wanted to get married have tied the knot in the past few years. And you know what? The traditional family is still sailing along (or floundering) exactly as before. &lt;br&gt;Divorce courts have not been swamped by homosexuals demanding to be set free from unhappy heterosexual unions so they can marry their true, same-sexed love. The few married homosexual couples who have adopted children have not been found to be raising a generation of &quot;gays just like Mom and Mom.&quot; Heterosexual lovers still buy virtually all of the marriage certificates at the courthouse, and heterosexual ex-lovers still fill the dockets down the hall in the divorce court. &lt;br&gt;In short, the biggest threat to traditional marriage and the mom &amp; dad family has not been posed by homosexual marriage but, overwhelmingly, by unhappy heterosexuals. So what's all the fuss about? How big a problem can this possibly be?
** [[Bob Altemeyer]], ''Sex and Youth: A Twenty-Four Year Investigation'' (2009), p. 207-208

* Increasingly, people say &quot;Who cares?&quot; Yes, gays can still run into a brick wall, even in California, when it comes to getting married. But I've been studying attitudes toward homosexuals since 1984, and my investigations show the same thing that national polls do: attitudes toward homosexuality have become markedly less negative in a short time. For example, when I began my studies most students, and their parents, agreed with the statement, &quot;I won't associate with known homosexuals if I can help it.&quot; Now, most students and parents say they don't at all mind associating with homosexuals. Brick walls can crumble.
** [[Bob Altemeyer]], ''Sex and Youth: A Twenty-Four Year Investigation'' (2009), p. 208

* I'm not saying that people shouldn't be able to get a divorce. I'm saying that there's a teensy-weensy bit of hypocrisy in a group opposing gay marriage on religious and &quot;save the family&quot; grounds when one-fifth to one-third of its members have themselves been divorced.
** [[Bob Altemeyer]], ''Sex and Youth: A Twenty-Four Year Investigation'' (2009), p. 217

* You can see the double standard regarding homosexuality very vividly in most heterosexual &quot;skin magazines,&quot; which will often have two, three, or more fetching young ladies hugging or kissing together in the altogether. But there are no similar layouts featuring (Lord help us!) guys in men's magazines. (At least that was true the last time I looked at them- strictly in the interest of science, you understand- some years ago.) Maybe men are so tolerant of lesbian activity partly because they'd like to join in, too.
** [[Bob Altemeyer]], ''Sex and Youth: A Twenty-Four Year Investigation'' (2009), p. 218

* Ye lads of grace and sprung from worthy stock &lt;br&gt; Grudge not to brave men converse with your beauty &lt;br&gt; In cities of Chalcis, Love, looser of limbs &lt;br&gt; Thrives side by side with courage.
** [[Aristotle]], ''Eroticus'' fr. 98 Rose (= Plutarch, Amatorius 760f), quoted at Cantarella p. 71 and Crompton p. 10 from the translation of F.C. Babbit, Plutarch: Moralia, vol. 9. Loeb Classical Library no. 425 (London, repr. 1961) p. 377.

== B ==
* '''If it be sin to love a lovely lad'''
:'''Oh there sin I.'''
:* [[Richard Barnfield]], &quot;The Affectionate Shepherd&quot;.

* Pre-World War II prejudices against homosexuals are hard to summarize, because scholars disagree as to when the category of &quot;homosexual&quot; even became recognizable in Europe. It seems evident that in antiquity certain forms of intimacy between people of the same sex did not carry a stigma or preclude sexual relations with members of the opposite se. By the modern era, however, much of this flexibility was gone, although the supposedly prudish society of Victorian England showed considerable tolerance for at least some kinds of same-sex intimacies. For example, many people considered sexual experimentation among boys in boarding schools to be a normal part of development; loving relationships between women who often became lifelong companions were not uncommon either. Nevertheless, by the late nineteenth century many parts of Europe had introduced laws against homosexuality. The German criminal code of 1871 explicitly forbade sexual relations between men. The state prosecuted some cases, and public interest in such &quot;scandals&quot; ran high. For example, it was an enormous sensation when prince Eulenberg, a member of the inner circle of the German Kaiser Wilhelm II (1888-1918), was charged with homosexual activities and forced from public life. Somewhat paradoxically, an increased openness around the subject of human sexuality in the decades after World War I served to make homosexual men and women more visible in Europe and to increase the panic some heterosexuals felt about them.
** Doris L. Bergen, ''War and Genocide: A Concise History of the Holocaust'' (2016), Third Edition, p. 33

* Political changes in Germany after World War I made it possible for the first time for Berlin to develop a gay scene that included clubs, restaurants, and bathhouses frequented by homosexual men. Lesbians, it seems, tended to attract less public attention, although there were also some clubs popular with homosexual women. Laws against sex between men were still on the books in Germany's first democracy, the Weimar Republic, but enforcement was slacker than it had been before World War I, especially in major cities. Many heterosexual Germans, however, disapproved of what they considered their overly permissive society. Magnus Hirschfeld (1868-1935), a sex reformer and homosexual rights leader in Berlin, made an international reputation for his research in sexology, the new field of studies of sex and sexuality. Hirschfeld regarded homosexuality as the &quot;third sex,&quot; a natural and legitimate variant between masculine and feminine. Homosexuals, he pointed out, looked and behaved normally and should be treated accordingly. For many people the work of researchers and activists such as Hirschfeld offered new possibilities for human freedom. For others it seemed to represent the decadence of a society that had abandoned its traditional values. Hitler's Nazis capitalized on such fears as well; they forced Hirschfeld out of Germany, and his research institute was one of the first casualties of the new regime.
** Doris L. Bergen, ''War and Genocide: A Concise History of the Holocaust'' (2016), Third Edition, p. 33-34

* In ''Mein Kampf'' Hitler had made it clear that he planned to &quot;deal with&quot; the Jews. He started his social revolution, however, with attacks on a group that was even less likely to receive public support: homosexual men. In the 1920s and early 1930s, Berlin and other major German cities had become centers of a small but vibrant gay culture. Even before the Nazis came to power, police had sometimes harassed men known or suspected to be homosexual; many Germans regarded homosexuality as deviant and decadent and urged their government to crack down by imposing what they considered moral and sexual order. Since 1871, Paragraph 175 of the German criminal code had outlawed sexual relations between men: &quot;A male who indulges in criminally indecent activities with another male or who allows himself to participate in such activities will be punished with jail.&quot; The prohibition did not mention sexual acts between women. Hitler built on this law in early 1933 to ban homosexual rights organizations in Germany. According to National Socialist teachings, homosexuals were an abomination because they opted out of the reproduction of the so-called Aryan master race. Moreover, according to Himmler and others, homosexual men in public positions of any kind were dangerous because they were always vulnerable to blackmail.
** Doris L. Bergen, ''War and Genocide: A Concise History of the Holocaust'' (2016), Third Edition, p. 73

* It was also politically expedient for Hitler's new government to lash out against gay culture, because opponents of Nazism charged the movement, in particular the Stormtroopers and SS, with fostering and glamorizing intimate relations between men. Communist and Socialist enemies of Nazism had been known to mock those obsessively male organizations as stomping grounds for deviants, and some conservative and Christian critics leveled the same accusations. Antagonistic Nazis focused on gay men; they seemed for the most part not to see lesbian or bisexual women as posing a particular threat, because women did not exercise public power by serving in the military or at high ranks of the bureaucracy. In any case women, some Nazi activists presumed, could always be forced to bear children for the German Volk, regardless of their own sexual orientation. Nevertheless, in individual cases lesbians were persecuted as so-called asocial elements. Leadership from above prompted initiatives by people acting out their own hostilities. In 1933, Nazi Stormtroopers and other thugs raided gay bars and clubs in German cities and forced many of them to close. A few managed to remain open longer- some intermittently until the end of World War II- but under constant threat of raids and violence. In May 1933, a group of Nazi students stormed and destroyed the Institute for Sexual Research in Berlin. Its director was the gay rights activist Magnus Hirschfeld, whom his opponents also vilified because he was Jewish. For the most part the German public was indifferent or cheered such offensives.
** Doris L. Bergen, ''War and Genocide: A Concise History of the Holocaust'' (2016), Third Edition, p. 73-74

* ''Die Freundschaft zwischen Geschlechtsgleichen bekommt einen erotischen Ton, der ins Bewusstsein tritt, and der sich auch mitunter bis zur Begierde steigert. Hier begann für die altere Medizin die Pathologie, wie für die ältere Juristik die Kriminalität, ohne dass in dem natürlichen Verhalten irgend ein Grund für einen von beiden gegeben wäre.''
** Friendship between those of the same sex attains an erotic tone, which comes into consciousness, and which also occasionally increases to the point of desire. Here, for older medicine, was where pathology began, for older jurisprudence, where criminality began, without providing any reason for either.	
*** [[Hans Blüher]], ''The German [[w:Wandervogel|Wandervogel Movement]] as Erotic Phenomenon: A Contribution to the Knowledge of Sexual Inversion'' (1914), p. 34

* For example, when your children are being repeatedly told about the virtues of LBGT behaviors or &quot;same-sex marriage is a civil right,&quot; what are you going to say to them? Do same-sex behaviors and marriages present God's vision for His people? A well-informed family chaplain knows enough to say, &quot;Let's talk about this. Because first of all, the Bible is clear about such behavior and second, I don't think you know much about the civil rights era or what a 'civil right' really is.&quot; I was around during the civil rights movement and maybe you were, too. But if not, you'll have to do your homework. That way you're able to say, &quot;OK, I've studied this. So, let me explain to you what the civil rights movement was all about. It was about people not being given equal freedoms and opportunities because of the color of their skin. You can explain how those who were deprived of their rights didn't choose to be that color- black, brown, whatever- any more than some of us turned out to be white. But of this we can be sure; we are all made in the image of God- just the way we are.
** [[William G. Boykin]], ''Man to Man: Rediscovering Masculinity in a Challenging World'' (2020), p. 158-159

* With that in mind, is it okay to say those who are involved in homosexual relationships were created that way and therefore they have a &quot;civil right&quot; to do whatever they feel like doing? No, that's not what the Bible teaches us. The Bible frames homosexual behavior as a ''choice''- and not a good choice. That ''chosen behavior'' is not godly, because the Scripture is clear about the sinful nature of homosexuality. By the way, it's no different, and no worse, than the guy who's sleeping with his secretary instead of his wife. It's all sexual sin and it's covered in Romans I and elsewhere in the Bible. Now let me be clear on a couple things at this point, since I know already that I will be criticized for even raising the issue of homosexuality. First of all, sin is sin, period. I know; I am guilty of committing many of them. Christians need to see homosexuality in the context of all the sins listed in the Bible. Some have greater consequences, but all sin is wrong and separates us from the closeness to God that we should be seeking in our lives. If you are a practicing homosexual and I am a fornicator, who has committed the greater sin? Well, I hope you get to the point that we are equally sinners. It is all wrong and displeasing to God.
** [[William G. Boykin]], ''Man to Man: Rediscovering Masculinity in a Challenging World'' (2020), p. 159-160

* The second point is that while the Supreme Court may have created rights for LBGT couples to marry, that does not mean I am under any mandate to celebrate it. I will not be bullied into compromising on my beliefs about the whole issue of sexual sin or any other kind of sin for that matter. Sin not only break's God's laws, it breaks His heart. As a spiritual leader of my home, I need to communicate how sin not only grieves God, but it grieves me as well because it hurts all involved. 
** [[William G. Boykin]], ''Man to Man: Rediscovering Masculinity in a Challenging World'' (2020), p. 160

* Imagine seeing an attractive girl in the hallway who's in one of your classes, but who you've never really had the chance to talk with. Somehow, you get into a conversation with her. She seems nice, and you like her, and she's laughing and you're starting to get hopeful. Then a couple of football players come around the corner and say, &quot;Hey, what the hell are you talking to her for, faggot? Do you actually think you have a chance with her?&quot; And then they pick you up and push you into a locker, and you look like a pathetic weakling in front of the girl you were trying so hard to impress. Such things were commonplace at Columbine. If a guy was acting in the Columbine drama program, he was immediately labeled a &quot;drama fag.&quot; Not only was he not playing sports- which was what all normal guys were supposed to do at Columbine- but he was into that fine arts crap! The bullies found whatever weakness they could and went after it. I was a wuss because I wasn't in sports. I was gay because I liked theatre. Then when I was in debate, it was like, &quot;Ooh, you must be smart, huh huh huh.&quot; Apparently, they thought calling someone &quot;smart&quot; was an insult.
** Brooks Brown, ''No Easy Answers: The Truth Behind Death At Columbine'' (2006) with Rob Merritt, 2nd edition, p. 61

* This reluctance on the part of so many, to say an out and out yes to God and no to sin and its accompanying evil, has brought our present generation to its sorry state. We are not opposing an individual's right to be treated with equality and fairness, but we did rise in opposition to the misleading demand of so-called civil rights for homosexuals who are not a legitimate oppressed minority with the same claims and rights as, say, Chicanos and blacks.
** [[Anita Bryant]], ''The Anita Bryant Story: The Survival of Our Nation's Families and the Threat of Militant Homosexuality'' (1977), p. 34

* The attempt by homosexuals to label this as a civil-rights issue was nothing but camouflage. If we as a nation eventually came to the place where this is sanctioned as a legitimate civil-rights issue, then what is to stop the adulterer from claiming &quot;adulterer rights,&quot; the murderer from shouting &quot;murderer rights,&quot; the thief to claim &quot;extortioner rights,&quot; and a rebellious young person to insist on &quot;rebellious-child rights&quot;?
** [[Anita Bryant]], ''The Anita Bryant Story: The Survival of Our Nation's Families and the Threat of Militant Homosexuality'' (1977), p. 35

* I repeat my belief: Homosexuals do not suffer discrimination when they keep their perversions in the privacy of their homes. They can hold any job, transact any business, join any organization- so long as they do not flaunt their homosexuality and try to establish role models for the impressionable young people- our children. I will continue to fight the attempts of Metro, and the attempts of a few Congressmen who on February 2 presented a similar type of bill in the Congress of the United States to legitimize homosexuality. Homosexuals cannot reproduce- so they must recruit. And to freshen their ranks, they must recruit the youth of America. I shall continue to fight against that recruitment. Those who do not share my conviction may continue to blacklist my talent- but with God's help, they can never blacken my name.
** [[Anita Bryant]], ''The Anita Bryant Story: The Survival of Our Nation's Families and the Threat of Militant Homosexuality'' (1977), p. 62

* There are books out now, and there are those making speeches who accuse me of putting down homosexuals and making them out to be second-class citizens. They say I have shown no compassion to homosexuals. We are said to be giving out hysterical misinformation and making judgments and pronouncements without knowing or understanding what we are talking about. They say we are lacking in understanding. We are labeled as generating hatred and using Christianity as a way of discrimination. We are said to have tremendous hostility and hatred for the homosexual. I cannot tell you how this saddens me. I truly do love the homosexual, and all sinners for that matter. It has been said that I am a one-issue person, which is not true. I hate &quot;sins&quot; in the plural just as Billy Graham, Oral Roberts, and other public religious figures have expressed. I have spoken out on the issue of homosexuality because it is the one we were confronted with. I have said it hundreds of times, and I'll go on saying it. I love the homosexual too much not to tell him the truth. I  love these people enough to care about where they're going to spend eternity. And I love them enough to want to do something to help them.
** [[Anita Bryant]], ''At Any Cost'' (1978) by Anita Bryant and Bob Green, p. 17-18

* When I repeat what the Bible says about sin- including homosexual acts- and emphasize that God calls for repentance (which means a feeling of sorrow and changing one's ways), I do so with compassion. Deliberate and unrepentant sin of ''any'' kind is contrary to the will of God, and until we admit ''and forsake'' our sin we cannot experience the forgiveness of God in Christ. Such statements on my part do not reveal a poverty of compassion. What my critics' statements reveal is the depths of depravity to which the human mind will go to justify and hang onto one's self-centered sexuality. The biblical truths of which I speak do not originate with me. This call for repentance is not my idea. My source book of truth is the Word of God.
** [[Anita Bryant]], ''At Any Cost'' (1978) by Anita Bryant and Bob Green, p. 18

* There are well-known church leaders who are saying the church must counter my statements. One such woman leader stated: &quot;Society doesn't have enough knowledge about homosexuality to consider it without being judgmental. This is one of those areas that we don't know enough about now. I don't know why, but God makes people feel this way, and I know He loves them, and I don't feel like being judgmental about it... This is a misuse of religion that we have had through all of the centuries about anything we don't like. In terms of loving people, I think it's a terribly unloving way to behave.&quot; ''God makes people this way...'' What could be more erroneous than to blame God for the sin of homosexuality? No one can lay that charge to the Almighty. Research data consistently shows that homosexuals must make a choice whether to act out their sexual preference or to keep it under control. Jerry Kirk in the book ''The Homosexual Crisis in the Mainline Church'' states that righteousness, not research, will decide where the church must stand. As of now the claims of scientists and researchers are contradictory. Either the church stands on the claims of the Word of God and faces up to the fact that God calls for moral responsibility, or it will be held accountable for failure to hold up the standards of righteousness.
** [[Anita Bryant]], ''At Any Cost'' (1978) by Anita Bryant and Bob Green, p. 35

* If I saw a man drowning, and I had it within my power to rescue that man, but I turned my back and walked away, what kind of a person would I be? That's love in action? Just so, I see the homosexual as a victim who needs help. I have it within my power to hold out to the homosexual, in Christlike compassion, that which will rescue him from eternal punishment. My way of showing love may not necessarily be the same as someone else's, but who is being judgmental when they accuse me of unloving behavior?
** [[Anita Bryant]], ''At Any Cost'' (1978) by Anita Bryant and Bob Green, p. 37

== C ==
[[File:Pan e Siringa.jpg|thumb|right|]]

* '''Catholics and other Christians are against abortions and they're against homosexuals. Well who has less abortions than homosexuals? Leave these fucking people ''alone'' for Christ's sake! Here is an entire class of people guaranteed never to have an abortion and the Catholics and the Christians are just tossing them aside. You'd think they'd make natural allies! Don't look for consistency in religion.'''
** [[George Carlin]], ''[[w:Back in Town (George Carlin album|Back in Town]]'' (1996), &quot;Abortion&quot;

* The reason for most violence against gays is that heterosexual men are forced to prove that they, themselves, are not gay. It goes like this: Men in strong male subcultures like the police, the military, and sports (and a few other cesspools) bond very strongly. Hunting, fishing, and golfing friendships also produce this unnatural bonding. These guys bond and bond, and get closer and closer, until finally they're just drunk enough to say, &quot;You know, I really love these guys.&quot; And that frightens them. So they must quickly add, &quot;But I'm not a queer!&quot; See the dilemma? Now they have to go out of their way to prove to the world, to their buddies, and to themselves that they don't harbor homoerotic feelings. And it's only a short step from &quot;I'm not a queer&quot; to &quot;In fact, I hate queers!&quot; And another short step to &quot;Let's go kill some queers!&quot; And what they really seek to kill is not the queer outside, it's the queer inside they fear.
** [[George Carlin]], ''[[w:Brain Droppings|Brain Droppings]]'' (1997), p. 64

*  God is happy that you are gay. God made you fucking gay cuz he thinks it is awesome.
** [[Margaret Cho]] [http://margaretcho.com/2008/09/17/im-a-christian-you-fuckers/ I'm a Christian you Fuckers]

* Yet of old the matter seemed even to be a law, and a certain law-giver among them bade the domestic slaves neither to use ointments when dry (i.e. except in bathing) nor to keep youths, giving the free this place of honor, or rather of shamefulness. Yet they, however, did not think the thing shameful, but as being a grand privilege, and one too great for slaves, the Athenian people, the wisest of people, and Solon who is so great among them, permitted it to the free alone. And sundry other books of the philosophers may one see full of this disease. But we do not therefore say that the thing was made lawful, but that they who received this law were pitiable, and objects for many tears. For these are treated in the same way as women that play the whore. Or rather their plight is more miserable. For in the case of the one the intercourse, even if lawless, is yet according to nature: but this is contrary both to law and nature. For even if there were no hell, and no punishment had been threatened, this were worse than any punishment. Yet if you say they found pleasure in it, you tell me what adds to the vengeance. For suppose I were to see a person running naked, with his body all besmeared with mire, and yet not covering himself, but exulting in it, I should not rejoice with him, but should rather bewail that he did not even perceive that he was doing shamefully.
** [[John Chrysostom]], Homily on Romans IV

* '''Gay rights are human rights.'''
** [[Hillary Clinton]], quoted in ''The Week'', 10 December 2011, p. 10

== D ==
[[File:François Lemoyne - Woman Bathing - WGA12659.jpg|thumb|right|]]
* Some people haven't figured it out yet. When it comes to sex, all women are gay. Some men are holdouts.	
** {{w|Betty Dodson}} as quoted in &quot;The Exercise Must Be Free&quot;, Jerry Talmer, GayCityNews, October 30, 2008 Archived December 27, 2008, at the Wayback Machine.

* A purple robe he wore, o'erwrought with gold
:With the device of a great snake, whose breath
:Was a fiery flame: which when I did behold
:I fell a-weeping and I cried, &quot;Sweet youth,
:Tell me why, sad and sighing, thou dost rove
:These pleasant realms? I pray thee speak me sooth
:What is thy name?&quot; He said, &quot;My name is Love.&quot;
:Then straight the first did turn himself to me
:And cried, &quot;He lieth, for his name is Shame,
:But I am Love, and I was wont to be
:Alone in this fair garden, till he came
:Unasked by night; I am true Love, I fill
:The hearts of boy and girl with mutual flame.&quot;
:Then sighing said the other, &quot;Have thy will,
:I am the Love that dare not speak its name.&quot;
:* [[w:Lord Alfred Douglas|Lord Alfred Douglas]] from &lt;i&gt;[[s:Two Loves (1894 poem)|Two Loves]]&lt;/i&gt;

* There can be little doubt that, as far as they thought of the matter at all, Marx and Engels were personally homophobic, as shown by an acerbic 1869 exchange of letters on Jean-Baptiste von Schweitzer, a German socialist rival. Schweitzer had been arrested in a park on a morals charge and not only did Marx and Engels refuse to join a committee defending him, they resorted to the cheapest form of bathroom humor in their private comments about the affair.
** {{W|Wayne R. Dynes}}, Encyclopedia of Homosexuality - Marxism
[[File:Boucher Leda och svanen.jpg|thumb|right|]]
* As early as the 1920s leaders of Western Communist parties began to float the idea that the public discussion of homosexuality, and the seeming increase in homosexual activity, resulted from the decadence of capitalism in its death throes. Homosexuality was to disappear in the healthy new society of the future.
** {{W|Wayne R. Dynes}}, Encyclopedia of Homosexuality - Marxism

== E ==

== F==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_Charlie_Mitchell.jpg|thumb|right|''Charlie Mitchell'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
* '''Homosexuality is assuredly no advantage, but it is nothing to be ashamed of, no vice, no degradation, it cannot be classified as an illness.'''
** [[Sigmund Freud]], letter to an American mother's plea to cure her son's homosexuality, April 9th. 1935. quoted in Vernon A. Rosario, ''Homosexuality and Science: A Guide to the Debates'', ABC-CLIO, 2002. Also quoted in David A. J. Richards, ''Sex, Drugs, Death, and the Law: An Essay on Human Rights and Overcriminalization''. [[w:Rowman &amp; Littlefield|Rowman &amp; Littlefield]], 1986  (p. 72).

== G==

* The origins of the two political movements at the heart of America's culture war are as humble as they are contemporary. The cultural ferment of the 1960s stands as the prelude to the battle to come. The first rousings of the modern gay movement date back to a sultry summer night in June 1969 when a ragtag group of drag queens and teenage hustlers rebelled against police harassment outside the Stonewall Inn, a Greenwich Village gay bar. The gays and lesbians who led the disturbance had little more to rely on than their anger. In a time when police raids on gay bars were the norm, they were largely at the mercy of hostile city officials. Routinely described as freaks and perverts in the press (one newspaper mockingly described the protesters as &quot;Queen Bees&quot;), they had little political organization to speak of, were characterized as mentally ill by the mainstream of the medical profession, and were generally banished from jobs and families if their sexuality was discovered. The political weakness and precarious social position of gays and lesbians at the time of Stonewall remains a fact that the religious right, intent on painting them as privileged and pathological, has been loath to accept. 
** John Gallagher and Chris Bull, ''The Religious Right, the Gay Movement, and the Politics of the 1990s'' (1996), Ch. 1

* The &quot;silent majority,&quot; Viguerie determined, was as motivated by a constellation of family issues, exemplified by gay rights and abortion, as the old conservative standard, anticommunism. The transition was a relatively smooth one. The old right had couched its anticommunism in the rhetoric of family values long before it was fashionable. Even though communism both in the United States and abroad was notoriously homophobic, the old right viewed it as weakening the Christian fabric of the nation, which would enable homosexuals to gain a stronger foothold. Homosexuals were often lampooned as limp-wristed &quot;pinkos,&quot; and perhaps the staunchest anticommunist of all, J. Edgar Hoover, took to attacking both homosexuals and communists in identical terms. Faced with the reality that communism was a dying ideology even before the decline of the Soviet Union, the new right and the religious right came to depict homosexuals as one of the chief evils of the modern world. It was the homosexual movement, particularly by gaining admission to the U.S. armed services, that would destroy America from within and make it vulnerable to foreign armies. Furthermore, by infiltrating the schools, homosexuals, like communists, had an insidious influence on the nation's most vulnerable commodity, its children. The new emphasis would leave the new right well stocked with new enemies closer to home after the fall of the &quot;Evil Empire&quot; in the mid-1980s.
** John Gallagher and Chris Bull, ''The Religious Right, the Gay Movement, and the Politics of the 1990s'' (1996), Ch. 1

*  The most bitter showdown came in California in 1978, when state senator and gubernatorial candidate John Briggs of Fullerton, armed with Bryant's contributor list, launched a drive to ban open homosexuals, or anyone advocating the 'gay lifestyle,&quot; from teaching in public schools. Largely as a result of unexpected opposition from then-governor [[Ronald Reagan]] and other prominent conservatives, the Briggs initiative lost by more than one million votes, 3.9 million to 2.8 million. Under intense lobbying from gay activists including David Mixner, who would go on to become a key adviser to President Clinton, Reagan refused to endorse the initiative on libertarian grounds, which should have tipped off his religious right supporters that he was not to be their messiah. The initiative &quot;is not needed to protect our children--we have that legal protection now,&quot; Reagan said. &quot;It has the potential of real mischief.... What if an overwrought youngster, disappointed by bad grades, imagined it was the teacher's fault and struck out by accusing the teacher of advocating homosexuality. Innocent lives could be ruined.&quot;
** John Gallagher and Chris Bull, ''The Religious Right, the Gay Movement, and the Politics of the 1990s'' (1996), Ch. 1

* Embittered by the unexpected defeat, Briggs, who once described gay men as women trapped in men's bodies,&quot; called San Francisco the &quot;moral garbage dump of homosexuality in this country.&quot; The Briggs battle coincided--indeed, helped propel--the first stirrings of urban gay political power. In San Francisco, Harvey Milk was elected to the Board of Supervisors in 1977. In Milk, antigay crusaders like Bryant and Briggs had met their match. The product of a middle-class Jewish family in Woodmere, New York, Milk supported Barry Goldwater's right wing presidential campaign in 1964. Caught up in the radicalism of the 1960s, Milk grew a ponytail, traded in his suit for bellbottoms, and headed off to San Francisco, where he opened a camera shop on Castro Street. By 1973, Milk was already blazing gay political trails, finishing tenth in a field of thirty-two candidates for the Board of Supervisors, despite the gay establishment's warning that it was too soon for an openly gay candidate to seek elected office. 
** John Gallagher and Chris Bull, ''The Religious Right, the Gay Movement, and the Politics of the 1990s'' (1996), Ch. 1

* The present status of gay activism makes it imperative that thinking Christians really understand the situation on the national scene... Evangelical Christians need to be alert to the implications of this gay force in their communities, their churches, and their nation. But most of all, they need to understand the underlying biblical and theological assumptions which have always made the church of Jesus Christ, though not always in an intelligent and loving way, clearly and unequivocally condemn homosexuality. The response of the real Christian on the issue of homosexuality should not be an emotional trauma toward the repulsion and stigma attached to the movement and its adherents. It should be a rather clear exposition of what the Bible has to say on the subject, with redemptive goals which have clear ramifications in society and the church.
** Kenneth O. Gangel, President of Miami Christian College (1974-1982), in ''Communicare'' magazine published by the College. As quoted by [[Anita Bryant]], ''The Anita Bryant Story: The Survival of Our Nation's Families and the Threat of Militant Homosexuality'' (1977), p. 33

* American society is already hospitable to passive and effeminate males. What they need is affirmation as men so that their existing androgyny does not lead to sexual suicide; to impotence and homosexuality. Contrary to the feminist view, the latitude of the two sexes is not the same. While women can venture into the masculine sphere without grave damage and can even indulge in occasional lesbianism, the greater sexual insecurity of males makes it more difficult and unsettling for them to engage in female roles. Homosexuality, moreover, can inflict permanent damage on their sexual identities. Because males must bear the burdens of initiation and performance in sexual activity, a homosexual fixation is often permanent. A man cannot be easily rescued by an aggressive woman.
** [[George Gilder]], ''Sexual Suicide'' (New York: Quadrangle Books, 1973), p. 226

* While there are many people who accept the romantic propaganda about male homosexual existence, the life of tricks and trades is in fact agonizing for most of its practitioners. Lasting relationships are few and sour. The usual circuit of gay bars, returning serviemen, forlorn personal advertisements, and street cruises affords gratifications so brief and squalid that the society should do everything it can to prevent the spread of the disease. This emphatically does not mean harassing or imprisoning homosexuals. In fact, the worst perversion occasioned by homosexuality is the police practice of entraptment. But at the same time it is crucial to affirm precarious males of their heterosexuality. Natural compassion for men who are already homosexual- and our recognition that men who are already homosexual- and our recognition that some have adjusted happily- should not lead us to praise or affirm the homosexual alternative or to acquiesce in its propaganda.
** [[George Gilder]], ''Sexual Suicide'' (New York: Quadrangle Books, 1973), p. 226

* At the same time that we teach empathy to the bullies, we need to stop sending the victims the message that their own behavior or traits are bringing on the attacks. This requires a fundamental change in the way adults view bullying. A child is not bullied because he is gay or autistic or overweight. A child is bullied because a bully has decided that the target is unacceptably different and less worthy of respect. We must teach the targets how to cognitively frame the bullying so that they do not think the abuse is their fault or something they deserve. Groundbreaking new research by Stan Davis and Charisse Nixon has shown that when a victim learns to think about the bullying in new ways- &quot;This bullying is not happening because I am overweight. It is happening because the bully is choosing to act in a mean and hateful way, and that is his fault, not mine&quot;- then the effects of the mistreatment are greatly diminished. Davis and Nixon's research also shows that many bullied kids find relief when they tell an adult or peer, but many are reluctant to do so.
** Carrie Goldman, ''Bullied: What Every Parent, Teacher and Kid Needs to Know About Ending the Cycle of Fear'' (2012) p. 270-271

==H==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1921_-_Morning_splendour.jpg|thumb|right|''Morning splendour'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
*We say that homosexuality is a perfectly natural state, a fact, a way of life, and that we enjoy our sexuality, without feelings of inferiority or guilt. We seek and find love, and approach love, as a feeling of loving mutuality.
**[[Harry Hay]], Statement of Purpose: Gay Liberation Front (Dec. 1969)

* …I knew that I was gay in every bone of my body. So I did the only thing I could do. I started the movement.
** [[Harry Hay]], on living a closeted married life in “Meet Pioneer of Gay Rights, Harry Hay” in ''The Progressive'' (2016 Aug 9)

*We do not even know-though we theorise and penalise with ferocious confidence-whether the &quot;normal&quot; sexual relationship is homo-, bi-, or hetero-sexual.
** [[w:Winifred Holtby|Winifred Holtby]], ''Women and A Changing Civilisation'', London, John Lane (1934) Quoted in Marion Shaw,''The Clear Stream : A Life of Winifred Holtby''. London : Virago, 1999 (p.60). Also quoted in Jane Garrity, ''Step-daughters of England: British Women Modernists and the National Imaginary,'' [[w:Manchester University Press|Manchester University Press]], 2003 (p.79).

==I==
==J==
==K==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1905_-_The_three_companions.jpg|thumb|right|''The three companions'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]

* Even laws enacted for broad and ambitious purposes often can be explained by reference to legitimate public policies which justify the incidental disadvantages they impose on certain persons. Amendment 2, however, in making a general announcement that gays and lesbians shall not have any particular protections from the law, inflicts on them immediate, continuing, and real injuries that outrun and belie any legitimate justifications that may be claimed for it. We conclude that, in addition to the far-reaching deficiencies of Amendment 2 that we have noted, the principles it offends, in another sense, are conventional and venerable; a law must bear a rational relationship to a legitimate governmental purpose, ''Kadrmas v. Dickinson Public Schools'', 487 U. S. 450, 462 (1988), and Amendment 2 does not.
** [[Anthony Kennedy]], author of the majority opinion in ''[[w:Romer v. Evans|Romer v. Evans]]'' (decided 20 May, 1996), 517 U.S. 620, 635, joined by Associate Justices Stevens, O'Connor, Souter, Ginsburg, Breyer

* The primary rationale the State offers for Amendment 2 is respect for other citizens' freedom of association, and in particular the liberties of landlords or employers who have personal or religious objections to homosexuality. Colorado also cites its interest in conserving resources to fight discrimination against other groups. The breadth of the amendment is so far removed from these particular justifications that we find it impossible to credit them. We cannot say that Amendment 2 is directed to any identifiable legitimate purpose or discrete objective. It is a status-based enactment divorced from any factual context from which we could discern a relationship to legitimate state interests; it is a classification of persons undertaken for its own sake, something the Equal Protection Clause does not permit. &quot;[C]lass legislation ... [is] obnoxious to the prohibitions of the Fourteenth Amendment .... &quot; ''Civil Rights Cases, 109'' U. S., at 24. &lt;br&gt;We must conclude that Amendment 2 classifies homosexuals not to further a proper legislative end but to make them unequal to everyone else. This Colorado cannot do. A State cannot so deem a class of persons a stranger to its laws. Amendment 2 violates the Equal Protection Clause, and the judgment of the Supreme Court of Colorado is affirmed. It is so ordered.
** [[Anthony Kennedy]], author of the majority opinion in ''[[w:Romer v. Evans|Romer v. Evans]]'' (decided 20 May, 1996), 517 U.S. 620, 635-636, joined by Associate Justices Stevens, O'Connor, Souter, Ginsburg, Breyer

* Gay: A sexual or affectional preference a self-identified man has for other men; as with lesbians, sometimes this identity is held regardless of gender identification.
** Michael Kimmel and The Stony Book Sexualities Research Group (editors), ''Sexualities: Identities, Behaviors, and Society'' (2004), 2nd Edition (2015), p. 681

* Now let us ask the question: Is there &quot;no room&quot; for the homosexual in the kingdom of God, and therefore, no room in the church? Scripture says both no and yes. All sinners are welcome at the Cross, but only repentant sinners are invited to become members of Christ's church. Calvin commented, &quot;The wicked do, indeed, inherit the kingdom of God, but only after they have been turned to the Lord in true repentance and justified after their conversion and so cease to be wicked.&quot; Scripture says no to the avowed, practicing, and unrepentant just as it says no to the practicing, unrepentant adulterer, robber, or idolator. But the answer is yes to the homosexual who, by the grace and love of God and the prayers and support of the Christian community, will repent of his or her behavior, turn to Christ, and seek God's power for a new lifestyle of wholeness.
** Jerry Kirk, ''The Homosexual Crisis In the Mainline Church'' (1978). Nashville: Thomas Nelson, Inc. Publishers, p. 73

* Most of us struggle with self-love, but the gay struggle is of a greater intensity. In much of the literature that has been written, gays seem to put the blame for their lack of self-acceptance on the attitudes of the church and the society. This is undoubtedly ''partially'' true of the many people who loathe and reject homosexuality and all that surrounds it. Some are in the church and some are in the society. They have been influenced by ''both'' the church and the society. In addition, the ''Bible'' has had a profound influence upon the moral values esteemed by people. &lt;br&gt;However, I also want to make a plea for gays to look more honestly at themselves and more responsibly to the Scriptures. Because the underlying reason for their lack of self-acceptance is sin, and the true moral guilt that comes with it, gays need to know that all of us find it difficult to accept ourselves and love ourselves. We find it most difficult when we are rebelling against God and living in sin. &lt;br&gt;Gays accuse us of focusing upon their sin and not facing our own. They say, &quot;why don't you face your sins of fornication and adultery as seriously as you want us to face our homosexuality? Why aren't you concerned about your inability to love us the way Jesus calls you to love us? Is that not as serious as our sin?&quot; Yes, it is. &lt;br&gt;Sin does reach the church. However, when we face our own sins squarely and gratefully accept God's grace, then we are set free to love fellow sinners. So I must say to the homosexual, if you are ''truly'' concerned over straight people's sins, turn your own sin over to Jesus Christ and then, please come help us! Should I not say the same thing to the rest of us? If we are truly concerned over homosexual sins, let us turn our sin over to Jesus Christ, and then, please come help them!
** Jerry Kirk, ''The Homosexual Crisis In the Mainline Church'' (1978). Nashville: Thomas Nelson, Inc. Publishers, p. 103

* It was when I was twelve years old that I encountered a homosexual for the first time. I had no idea what was going on. I was in a movie theater in Seattle and the fellow in the next seat put his hand on my knee. I waited a moment, assuming it was an accident and that he would remove it. Surprisingly, he didn't. Finally, I grabbed his hand with all my strength and literally threw it back at him. My adrenaline was pumping full steam. I bolted out of my seat, stalked back up the aisle several rows, and sat down. I stared at the back of that guy's head during much of the movie. Then, when I was older, I was in a car with a young man who put his arm around my shoulder. I think I was more frightened than anything else because he was in control of the car. It was a legitimate fear of the unknown that made me shout, &quot;Stop this car! I'm getting out of here!&quot;
** Jerry Kirk, ''The Homosexual Crisis In the Mainline Church'' (1978). Nashville: Thomas Nelson, Inc. Publishers, p. 127

* In the eyes of [[Fidel Castro|Castro]] and his revolutionary comrade [[Che Guevara]] — who frequently referred to gay men as maricones, “faggots” — homosexuality was inherently counterrevolutionary, a bourgeois decadence.
** ''Fidel Castro's Horrific Record on Gay Rights'', James Kirchick, 27 November 2016, The Daily Beast

* After two decades of building socialism in the USSR there is no reason for anybody to be a homosexual.
** [[Nikolai Krylenko]], on the law re-criminalizing homosexuality in 1936. Quoted in David Tuller, Cracks in the Iron Closet: Travels in Gay and Lesbian Russia, University of Chicago Press, 1996

==L==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1909_-_Two_boys_on_a_beach_(A_study_in_bright_sunlight).jpg|thumb|right|''Two boys on a beach'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
* [[Ballet]] is the fairies' [[baseball]].
** [[Oscar Levant]], as quoted in [https://www.newspapers.com/newspage/161384355/ &quot;Oscar the Magnificent&quot;] by Burt Prelutsky, in ''The Los Angeles Times'' (January 26, 1969), p. 468

* For educators with a conservative agenda, teaching that sex means heterosexual intercourse is part of the point. For straight unmarried boys and girls, according to them, anything more than holding hands is treacherous and sinful; homosexuality is beyond consideration.
** Judith Levine, ''Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children From Sex (2002), p. 130

* You shall not [[w:Homosexuality in the Hebrew Bible#Leviticus 18 and 20|lie with a male as with a woman]]; it is an [[w:Abomination (Bible)#Tōʻēḇā|abomination]].
** ''[[Book of Leviticus]]'' [[w:Leviticus 18|18:22]] ([[KJV]])

* If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
** ''[[Book of Leviticus]]'' [[w:Leviticus 20|20:13]] ([[KJV]])

* ...love is not enough... truth is also important... Good feelings cannot deliver the homosexual from the judgement of God. If he does not repent, he is doomed, but he is not alone. So are all other unrepentant sinners. God is no respecter of persons; He is also no respecter of one's sexual appetites. Hell will be partially populated by 'caring, honest, whole persons' who are proud they are gay.
** [[Harold Lindsell]], as quoted by [[Anita Bryant]] in ''The Anita Bryant Story: The Survival of Our Nation's Families and the Threat of Militant Homosexuality'' (1977), p. 111

==M==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1920_-_Youth_on_beach.jpg|thumb|right|''Youth on a beach'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
* While largely clandestine owing to laws prohibiting 'indecency' in public (the artist Simeon Solomon was one of those so prosecuted), private male homosexual acts were not explicitly and severely legislated against until 1885, when gay sex behind closed doors was made a criminal offence. This led, most notoriously, to the imprisonment in 1896 of Oscar Wilde, playwright and poseur. &lt;br&gt; Reasons for the emergence of a distinctly gay subculture within 1890s' Decadence movement include the promotion of 'Greek' or Platonic relationships by some university dons; the extended bachelorhood that resulted from prescriptions of financial prudence and sexual continence; and a counter-cultural defiance of orthodox moral teaching, which gave added allure to the forbidden and deviant. The supremely Decadent drawings of Aubrey Beardsley (1872-98) vividly evoke the atmosphere of this moment. &lt;br&gt; At the very end of the century, questions of sexual identity were also subject to speculative and would-be scientific investigation, dubbed sexology (1902). Writers such as Havelock Ellis (1859-1939) attempted a detailed classification of 'normal' and 'perverse' sexual practices. This led to the identification of a 'third' or 'intermediate' sex, for which Ellis used the term 'sexual inversion'. Writer and social reformer Edward Carpenter (1844-1929), who lived with a younger male partner, adapted the word 'Uranian' (1899) to denote male and female homosexuality, and around the same time, Lesbian and Sapphic came into use as terms for female relationships. Apocryphally, these were also due to be criminalised in the 1885 legislation, until Queen Victoria declared them impossible, whereupon the clause was omitted - a joke that serves to underline a common, and commonly welcomed, ignorance, at a time when lurid, fictionalised lesbianism was often figured as an especially repulsive/seductive French vice.
** Jan Marsh, [http://www.vam.ac.uk/content/articles/s/sex-and-sexuality-19th-century/ “Sex &amp; Sexuality in the 19th Century”], “Victoria and Albert Museum”, (2016)

* Men usually remain unmarried for three reasons: either because they cannot afford to marry or there are no girls to marry (neither of these factors need have deterred Jesus); or because it is inexpedient for them to marry in the light of their vocation (we have already ruled this out during the ‘hidden years’ of Jesus' life); or because they are homosexual in nature, in as much as women hold no special attraction for them. The homosexual explanation is one which me must not ignore. ...  All the synoptic gospels show Jesus in close relationship with the ‘outsiders’ and the unloved. Publicans and sinners, prostitutes and criminals are among his acquaintances and companions. If Jesus were homosexual in nature (and this is the true explanation of his celibate state) then this would be further evidence of God's self-identification with those who are unacceptable to the upholders of ‘The Establishment’ and social conventions.
** [[Hugh Montefiore]] ([[w:Bishop of Kingston|Bishop of Kingston]] from 1970 to 1978 and [[w:Bishop of Birmingham|Bishop of Birmingham]] from 1977 to 1987),  “Jesus, the Revelation of God,” in ''Christ for Us Today: Papers read at the Conference of Modern Churchmen, Somerville College, Oxford, July 1967'', edited by Norman Pittenger (SCM Press, London: 1968), pp. 109-110.

==N==
* There is probably no more powerful source of stigma for an adolescent boy than being labeled gay. The risk to a boy's reputation is immeasurable, and his place on the social ladder is utterly compromised if even a smidgeon of it sticks.
** Katherine S. Newman, ''Rampage: The Social Roots of School Shootings'' (2004), p. 145

* The power of this epithet has grown so much that it now covers a much wider range of behavior than the purely sexual reference that it connoted in the past. The term &quot;gay&quot; is now used as a slang term for any form of social or athletic incompetence. Students routinely say to one another &quot;that's gay&quot; when they are talking about a wide array of mistakes or social failures. If someone fails to make the right move on a soccer field or drops a lunch tray in the cafeteria, the kid behind him is quite likely to say, &quot;That's really gay.&quot; Why? one fifteen-year-old girl provided an explanation: &quot;Boys have a fascination with not being gay. They want to be manly, and put each other down by saying 'that's gay.'&quot; Thus for boys, the struggle for status is in large part competition for the rank of alpha male, and any loss one boy can inflict on another opens up a new rung on the ladder that he might move into.
** Katherine S. Newman, ''Rampage: The Social Roots of School Shootings'' (2004), p. 145-146

* I grew up in Sydney, Australia. There was this boy at my school. I liked him and wanted to try sex but he was like, &quot;No. You're just going to make me say &quot;yes&quot; and then you're going to make fun of me at school,&quot; because I was a jock and he was the gay boy at school who everyone picked on. We both liked music. That was our connection. So we used to go on friend dates to see like Cheap Trick, or The Knack or whatever. Then I'd drag him to punk clubs to see The Ramones. He used to cry because that the punk shows were so loud. He was more of a disco boy. One night we went and saw the movie ''Flash Gordon''. Kind of a homoerotic movie. I thought it was horrible but I could see it was working on him. In the movie, Flash Gordon was a quarterback on an American football team and I played rugby which, I guess, got him excited. I can credit that movie and the music of Queen with getting me laid at 14. Rather young but I was pushy and he was cute, so it had to happen. We went back to his place and had sex in the shower. We dated for a long time after that.
** Niles, as quoted in ''How to Lose Your Virginity (and how not to): Shocking, Humorous, Dangerous, Sweet &amp; Scandelous Stories of the First Time'' by Shawn Wickens

* Many young people have left our churches and wandered off into the &quot;gay&quot; lifestyle. They abandon their faith or somehow justify their choices by claiming they were born that way. Why would a loving God create them in a way that is contrary to the Scriptures? They are left struggling through the rest of their life, often falling deeper and deeper into a godless lifestyle and further and further away from their faith. Unfortunately, the Christian world has taken two opposite extremes, both of which leave the &quot;gay&quot; individual without any honest answers. Some have decided that homosexuality is not a sin. They expect Christians that believe it is a sin to accept these individuals' lifestyle rather than help them escape from their behavior. The other extreme is to deem them hopelessly condemned and to release them into the world with no way back.
** David J. Nixon, ''Born That Way After All'' (2016). David J. Nixon with R.G. Hamm, p. 1

* It was nearing midnight. We had been talking, praying, and reading the Scriptures for nearly two hours. I carefully shared the idea with Sam that maybe he had indeed been born that way, not as a &quot;homosexual,&quot; but as a &quot;eunuch.&quot; I explained what eunuchs were, and I assured Sam that they were made uniquely by God for a special purpose. I told him that in my study of the subject, I had come to believe that many young men, who thought they must be homosexuals, were actually eunuchs. I will never forget what happened that night. Sam began to weep. I could see something different in his eyes. He read Matthew 19:12 over and over again, and then he began to shiver. He looked up at me and then turned to his mother and, through his tears, Sam said, &quot;Mom, ''I'm not gay.''&quot; His mom and grandmother began to weep. All of us were crying. He said, &quot;''I'm a eunuch. I guess God did make me special.''&quot; What an amazing moment it was for all of us. &lt;br&gt;The joy was soon turned to conviction because Sam asked me a question that would redefine my ministry. With reddened eyes and a trembling voice, Sam asked, &quot;Preacher, why didn't someone show this to me when I was younger? This could have saved me so much regret.&quot; At that moment, I knew a ministry had been born by the work of the Holy Spirit. It is amazing to think that someone like me who had so often treated &quot;gays&quot; as outcast and perverts would now commit myself to helping them understand they were indeed ''not'' born gay, but that maybe they were created &quot;different' and special- as natural eunuchs. I will never forget the joy of that first experience, when I saw Sam come to the realization that he was ''born that way after all''.
** David J. Nixon, ''Born That Way After All'' (2016). David J. Nixon with R.G. Hamm, p. 12

* Hopefully, all Christians are concerned about the treatment of marriage in making same sex unions legal in this country. However, long before society devalued this institution, the churches did so in the way we sold it to our kids. By worshiping marriage, we devalued it. Worshiping anything ''not'' meant to be worshiped is the same as devaluing it. We took away the sacredness of marriage by pushing the idea that it is some kind of sensual, romantic byproduct that is somehow necessary for everyone.
** David J. Nixon, ''Born That Way After All'' (2016). David J. Nixon with R.G. Hamm, p. 123

* No one can make a choice for us as to how we react with the truth we learn. Once it is learned, we are left with the fact that we can never again make excuses. Let's confirm the truth that you are able to be pure before God, no matter how far into sin you have gone. If you were deep into the &quot;homosexual&quot; or &quot;lesbian&quot; lifestyle, you have absolute liberty to return to Christ and be cleansed. You do not have to live in guilt or shame, because you can be completely forgiven. However, that liberty comes from a single and extremely misunderstood word- repentance. You must repent. Now that does not mean that you must do penance of some kind or crawl on your hands and knees back to God. Repentance is a change of mind.
** David J. Nixon, ''Born That Way After All'' (2016). David J. Nixon with R.G. Hamm, p. 193

==P==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_Youth_in_white_trousers.jpg|thumb|right|''Youth in white trousers'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
* Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,  And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things. Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
** [[Paul of Tarsus]], [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%201&amp;version=KJV Romans 1:20-27] (KJV).

* Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, ... will inherit the kingdom of God.
** [[Paul of Tarsus]], [http://biblia.com/bible/esv/1%20Corinthians%206.9-10 1 Corinthians 6:9–10] (ESV).

* Overall, Catholics are split on whether homosexual behavior is a sin. More than four-in-ten (44%, including 59% of weekly Mass attenders) say it is, but nearly as many (39%) say it is not. 
**  [http://www.pewforum.org/2015/09/02/u-s-catholics-open-to-non-traditional-families/ &quot;U.S. Catholics Open to Non-Traditional Families&quot;]. ''Pew Research Center''. 2015. 

*...he would prefer to die many deaths: while as for leaving the one he loves in a lurch, or not succoring him in peril, no man is such a craven that the influence of Love cannot inspire him with a courage that makes him equal to the bravest born.
** Phaedrus in [[Plato]], ''Symposium'' 178e–179a.

* [[Homer]]'s Nestor was not well skilled in ordering an army when he advised the Greeks to rank tribe and tribe ... he should have joined lovers and their beloved. For men of the same tribe little value one another when dangers press; but a band cemented by friendship grounded upon love is never to be broken.
** [[Plutarch]], ''Pelopidas'' 18.2; discussed by K.J. Dover, ''Greek Homosexuality'' (Harvard University Press, 1978, 1989), p. 192, and Louis Crompton, Homosexuality and Civilization (Harvard University Press, 2003), p. 74.

==Q==

==R==

==S==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1928_-_Figure_study_for_%22Aquamarine%22.jpg|thumb|right|''Figure study for Aquamarine'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
* In English-speaking countries, the connection between heresy and homosexuality is expressed through the use of a single word to denote both concepts: ''buggery''. ... ''Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary'' (Third Edition) defines “buggery” as “heresy, sodomy.”	
** [[Thomas Szasz]],  ''The Manufacture of Madness: A Comparative Study of the Inquisition and the Mental Health Movement'' (1997), p. 165

* The Court has mistaken a Kulturkampf for a fit of spite. The constitutional amendment before us here is not the manifestation of a &quot;'bare ... desire to harm' &quot; homosexuals, ''ante'', at 634, but is rather a modest attempt by seemingly tolerant Coloradans to preserve traditional sexual mores against the efforts of a politically powerful minority to revise those mores through use of the laws. That objective, and the means chosen to achieve it, are not only unimpeachable under any constitutional doctrine hitherto pronounced (hence the opinion's heavy reliance upon principles of righteousness rather than judicial holdings); they have been specifically approved by the Congress of the United States and by this Court. &lt;br&gt;In holding that homosexuality cannot be singled out for disfavorable treatment, the Court contradicts a decision, unchallenged here, pronounced only 10 years ago, see ''Bowers v. Hardwick'', 478 U. S. 186 (1986), and places the prestige of this institution behind the proposition that opposition to homosexuality is as reprehensible as racial or religious bias. Whether it is or not is ''precisely'' the cultural debate that gave rise to the Colorado constitutional amendment (and to the preferential laws against which the amendment was directed.) Since the Constitution of the United States says nothing about this subject, it is left to be resolved by normal democratic means, including the democratic adoption of provisions in state constitutions. This Court has no business imposing upon all Americans the resolution favored by the elite class from which the Members of this institution are selected, pronouncing that &quot;animosity&quot; toward homosexuality, ''ante'', at 634, is evil. I vigorously dissent.
** [[Antonin Scalia]], author of the dissenting opinion in ''[[w:Romer v. Evans|Romer v. Evans]]'' (decided 20 May, 1996), 517 U.S. 620, 636, joined by Chief Justice William Rehnquist and Associate Justice Clarence Thomas

* If it is constitutionally permissible for a State to make homosexual conduct criminal, surely it is constitutionally permissible for a State to enact other laws merely ''disfavoring'' homosexual conduct... And ''a fortiori'' it is constitutionally permissible for a State to adopt a provision ''not even disfavoring'' homosexual conduct, but merely prohibiting all levels of state government from bestowing ''special protections'' upon homosexual conduct.
** [[Antonin Scalia]], author of the dissenting opinion in ''[[w:Romer v. Evans|Romer v. Evans]]'' (decided 20 May, 1996), 517 U.S. 620, 641, joined by Chief Justice William Rehnquist and Associate Justice Clarence Thomas

==T==

==U==

==V==

== W ==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1921_-_Boys_bathing_on_rocks.jpg|thumb|right|''Boys bathing on rocks'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
* Biological [[determinism]] works as a phenomenon that normalizes same-sex desire while leaving heterosexism in place and disenfranchising certain queer people from fully participating in an accurate articulation of their experiences in political and popular discourse.
** Shannon Weber, ''What's Wrong With Becoming Queer Biological Determinism as Discursive Queer Hegemony'', as quoted in ''Ages of the X-Men: Essays on the Children of the Atom in Changing Times'', &quot;Mutating Metaphors: Addressing the Limits of Biological Narratives of Sexuality&quot; by Christian Norman, p.170

==X==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1928-29_-_Aquamarine.jpg|thumb|right|''Aquamarine'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
*They sleep with their loved ones, yet stations them next to themselves in battle&amp;nbsp;... with them ([[w:Eleians|Eleians]], [[w:Thebans|Thebans]]) it's a custom, with us a disgrace&amp;nbsp;... placing your loved one next to you seems to be a sign of distrust&amp;nbsp;... The [[w:Sparta|Sparta]]ns&amp;nbsp;... make our loved ones such models of perfection that even if stationed with foreigners rather than with their lovers they are ashamed to desert their companion.
** [[Xenophon]], ''[[w:Symposium (Xenophon)|Symposium]]'' 8.34–5

==Y==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1917_-_Under_the_western_sun.jpg|thumb|right|''Under the western sun'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
* Citizens with this kind of homosexual inclination, who renounce women and can do without them willingly because they love one another, get married together, bound by a deep and trusting friendship.
** Yashodhara, ''Jayamangala'' (twelfth-century commentary on the [[Kama Sutra]]), in ''Tritiya-Prakriti: People of the Third Sex'' (2010), p. 22

==Z==

=== Sexual Behavior in the Human Male  (1948) ===
&lt;small&gt; Alfred C. Kinsey, Wardell R. Pomeroy, and Clyde E. Martin;  “Sexual Behavior in the Human Male”, Philadelphia Pa: W.B. Saunders: 1948: 610-666; asquoted in [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1447861/ Am J Public Health. 2003 June; 93(6): 894–898] &lt;/small&gt;
* [A] CONSIDERABLE PORTION OF THE population, perhaps the major portion of the male population, has at least some homosexual experience between adolescence and old age. In addition, about 60 per cent of the pre-adolescent boys engage in homosexual activities, and there is an additional group of adult males who avoid overt contacts but who are quite aware of their potentialities for reacting to other males. &lt;br&gt; The social significance of the homosexual is considerably emphasized by the fact that both Jewish and Christian churches have considered this aspect of human sexuality to be abnormal and immoral. Social custom and our AngloAmerican law are sometimes very severe in penalizing one who is discovered to have had homosexual relations. . . . &lt;br&gt; It is, therefore, peculiarly difficult to secure factual data concerning the nature and the extent of the homosexual in Western European or American cultures, and even more difficult to find strictly objective presentations of such data as are available. . . . &lt;br&gt; Until the extent of any type of human behavior is adequately known, it is difficult to assess its significance, either to the individuals who are involved or to society as a whole; and until the extent of the homosexual is known, it is practically impossible to understand its biologic or social origins. It is one thing if we are dealing with a type of activity that is unusual, without precedent among other animals, and restricted to peculiar types of individuals within the human population. It is another thing if the phenomenon proves to be a fundamental part, not only of human sexuality, but of mammalian patterns as a whole.
* For nearly a century the term homosexual in connection with human behavior has been applied to sexual relations, either overt or psychic, between individuals of the same sex. Derived from the Greek root homo rather than from the Latin word for man, the term emphasizes the sameness of the two individuals who are involved in a sexual relation. The word is, of course, patterned after and intended to represent the antithesis of the word heterosexual, which applies to a relation between individuals of different sexes. . . . &lt;br&gt; It is amazing to observe how many psychologists and psychiatrists have . . . come to believe that homosexual males and females are discretely different from persons who merely have homosexual experience, or who react sometimes to homosexual stimuli. Sometimes such an interpretation allows for only two kinds of males and two kinds of females, namely those who are heterosexual and those who are homosexual. But as subsequent data . . . will show, there is only about half of the male population whose sexual behavior is exclusively heterosexual, and there are a few percent who are exclusively homosexual. Any restriction of the term homosexuality to individuals who are exclusively so demands, logically, that the term heterosexual be applied only to those individuals who are exclusively heterosexual; and this makes no allowance for the nearly half of the population which has had sexual contacts with, or reacted psychically to, individuals of their own as well as of the opposite sex. Actually, of course, one must learn to recognize every combination of heterosexuality and homosexuality in the histories of various individuals. &lt;br&gt; It would encourage clearer thinking on these matters if persons were not characterized as heterosexual or homosexual, but as individuals who have had certain amounts of heterosexual experience and certain amounts of homosexual experience. Instead of using these terms as substantives which stand for persons, or even as adjectives to describe persons, they may better be used to describe the nature of the overt sexual relations, or of the stimuli to which an individual erotically responds.
* The statistics given throughout this volume on the incidence of homosexual activity, and the statistics to be given in the present section of this chapter, are based on those persons who have had physical contacts with other males, and who were brought to orgasm as a result of such contacts. By any strict definition such contacts are homosexual, irrespective of the extent of the psychic stimulation involved, of the techniques employed, or of the relative importance of the homosexual and the heterosexual in the history of such an individual. These are not data on the number of persons who are “homosexual,” but on the number of persons who have had at least some homosexual experience. . . . &lt;br&gt; In these terms (of physical contact to the point of orgasm), the data in the present study indicate that at least 37 percent of the male population has some homosexual experience between the beginning of adolescence and old age. This is more than one male in three of the persons that one may meet as he passes along a city street. Among the males who remain unmarried until the age of 35, almost exactly 50 per cent have homosexual experience between the beginning of adolescence and that age. . . . These figures are, of course, considerably higher than any which have previously been estimated. . . . &lt;br&gt; We ourselves were totally unprepared to find such incidence data when this research was originally undertaken. Over a period of several years we were repeatedly assailed with doubts as to whether we were getting a fair cross section of the total population or whether a selection of cases was biasing the results. It has been our experience, however, that each new group into which we have gone has provided substantially the same data. Whether the histories were taken in one large city or another, whether they were taken in large cities, in small towns, or in rural areas, whether they came from one college or from another, a church school or a state university or some private institution, whether they came from one part of the country or from another, the incidence data on the homosexual have been more or less the same. . . .
* Concerning patterns of sexual behavior, a great deal of the thinking done by scientists and laymen alike stems from the assumption that there are persons who are “heterosexual” and persons who are “homosexual,” that these two types represent antitheses in the sexual world, and that there is only an insignificant class of “bisexuals” who occupy an intermediate position between the other groups. It is implied that every individual is innately—inherently—either heterosexual or homosexual. It is further implied that from the time of birth one is fated to be one thing or the other, and that there is little chance for one to change his pattern in the course of a lifetime. &lt;br&gt; It is quite generally believed that one’s preference for a sexual partner of one or the other sex is correlated with various physical and mental qualities, and with the total personality which makes a homosexual male or female physically, psychically, and perhaps spiritually distinct from a heterosexual individual. It is generally thought that these qualities make a homosexual person obvious and recognizable to any one who has a sufficient understanding of such matters. Even psychiatrists discuss “the homosexual personality” and many of them believe that preferences for sexual partners of a particular sex are merely secondary manifestations of something that lies much deeper in the totality of that intangible which they call the personality. . . .
* The histories which have been available in the present study make it apparent that the heterosexuality or homosexuality of many individuals is not an all-or-none proposition. It is true that there are persons in the population whose histories are exclusively heterosexual, both in regard to their overt experience and in regard to their psychic reactions. And there are individuals in the population whose histories are exclusively homosexual, both in experience and in psychic reactions. But the record also shows that there is a considerable portion of the population whose members have combined, within their individual histories, both homosexual and heterosexual experience and/or psychic responses. There are some whose heterosexual experiences predominate, there are some whose homosexual experiences predominate, there are some who have had quite equal amounts of both types of experience. . . .&lt;br&gt; Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats. Not all things are black nor all things white. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories. Only the human mind invents categories and tries to force facts into separated pigeon-holes. The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects. The sooner we learn this concerning human sexual behavior the sooner we shall reach a sound understanding of the realities of sex. . . .
* In view of the data which we now have on the incidence and frequency of the homosexual, and in particular on its co-existence with the heterosexual in the lives of a considerable portion of the male population, it is difficult to maintain the view that psychosexual reactions between individuals of the same sex are rare and therefore abnormal or unnatural, or that they constitute within themselves evidence of neuroses or even psychoses. . . . &lt;br&gt; The very general occurrence of the homosexual in ancient Greece, and its wide occurrence today in some cultures in which such activity is not as taboo as it is in our own, suggests that the capacity of an individual to respond erotically to any sort of stimulus, whether it is provided by another person of the same or of the opposite sex, is basic in the species. That patterns of heterosexuality and patterns of homosexuality represent learned behavior which depends, to a considerable degree, upon the mores of the particular culture in which the individual is raised, is a possibility that must be thoroughly considered before there can be any acceptance of the idea that homosexuality is inherited, and that the pattern for each individual is so innately fixed that no modification of it may be expected within his lifetime. . . .
* Social reactions to the homosexual have obviously been based on the general belief that a deviant individual is unique and as such needs special consideration. When it is recognized that the particular boy who is discovered in homosexual relations in school, the business man who is having such activity, and the institutional inmate with a homosexual record, are involved in behavior that is not fundamentally different from that had by a fourth to a third of all of the rest of the population, the activity of the single individual acquires a somewhat different social significance. . . . &lt;br&gt; The difficulty of the situation becomes still more apparent when it is realized that these generalizations concerning the incidence and frequency of homosexual activity apply in varying degrees to every social level, to persons in every occupation, and of every age in the community. The police force and court officials who attempt to enforce the sex laws, the clergymen and business men and every other group in the city which periodically calls for enforcement of the laws—particularly the laws against sexual “perversion”—have given a record of incidences and frequencies in the homosexual which are as high as those of the rest of the social level to which they belong. It is not a matter of the individual hypocrisy which leads officials with homosexual histories to become prosecutors of the homosexual activity in the community. They themselves are the victims of the mores, and the public demand that they protect those mores. As long as there are such gaps between the traditional custom and the actual behavior of the population, such inconsistencies will continue to exist. . . .
* The homosexual has been a significant part of human sexual activity ever since the dawn of history, primarily because it is an expression of capacities that are basic in the human animal.

=== &quot;The Construction of Homosexuality&quot; (December 9, 1988) ===
&lt;small&gt; [https://books.google.com/books?isbn=022621981X &quot;The Construction of Homosexuality&quot;], David F. Greenberg, ''University of Chicago Press'', (December 9, 1988) &lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Jupiter and Kallisto by Francois Boucher.jpg|thumb|right|''Jupiter and Kallisto'' by Francois Boucher]]
[[File:Henry_Scott_Tuke_-_A_Holiday,_1921.jpg|thumb|right|''A Holiday'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
[[File:Jupiter, in the Guise of Diana, and Callisto by François Boucher.jpg|thumb|right|]]
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1911_-_Bathing_group_(Noonday_heat).jpg|thumb|right|''Bathing group (Noonday heat)'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
[[File:Les Deux Amies by Lagrenee.jpg|thumb|right|''Les Deux Amies'' by Lagrenee]]
* Male homosexual prostitution having religious significance was an institutionalized feature of the archaic civilizations of the [[Mediterranean]]. Most authorities think it was practiced in the [[w:Temple of Solomon|Temple of Solomon]] in [[Jerusalem]], as well as in the worship of neighboring peoples. Yet a few scholars have expressed skepticism.
** p.94.

* One would hardly expect to see instituionalized male transgenerational homosexuality of the [[w:Melanesia|Melanesian]] variety (described in chapter 2) in the archaic civilizations. The conditions that seem to give rise to it in Melanesia do not exist in the early civilizations. With the pacification of an extended territory, wives are no longer taken from enemy villages, and marriage is not arranged through sister exchange between cross-cousins. &lt;br&gt; Yet ritualized, transgenerational male homosexuality was a part of early [[Greek]] culture. Dominated from the time of the [[Dorian invasion|Dorian invasion]] (c. 1200 B.C.) by powerful, culturally conservative noble families, the eastern part of [[Crete]] kept up ancient customs well into historical times. One of these customs was an initiation rite for aristocratic youths that bears remarkable resemblance to tribal rituals. Boys were taken from their mothers by kouretes (armed male dancers). Under the auspices of the pre-Olympian Mother Goddess cult of Rhea and Zeus, the boys were cleansed of maternal contamination and reborn as men. A men's house figured in the ceremonies, and bull roarers (devices widely used in tribal rituals to simulate the sound of bulls or thunder) were used to terrify the initiates.
** pp.106-107

* [[Sparta]], too, institutionalized relations between mature men and adolescent boys, as well as between adult women and girls, and gave them a pedagogical focus. The few accounts we have, all written by foreigners, do not claim that the relationships were a part of initiation rites, but the Spartans were secretive about their institutions, and strangers would not necessarily have learned the details. However, many aspects of Spartan homosexuality and marriage customs point to tribal origins. Participation was mandatory for all youths of good character. There were ordeals - a common feature of tribal initiation. At their conclusion, all boys in the same-age grade had to marry - as in many tribes. Even after marriage, men lived in men's houses, not with their wives. Wives and male lovers were shared with age-mates. Like Crete, from whom the Greeks believed Spartan institutions were borrowed, Sparta preserved ancient customs that had disappeared in other city-states.
** p.107

* Aristocratic warrior societies do seem have had extensive male homosexuality, which was completely accepted. Archeological evidence shows that c. 500 B.C., when they were founding the La Tene culture in [[France]] and the northern part of [[Switzerland]], large numbers of [[Celts]] were armed for military raids of looting. Their political organization took the form of decentralized chiefdoms, with patron-client relationships linking aristocrats and commoners. According to Artistotle, the Celts esteemed homosexuality. Writing in the first century B.C., Diodorus Siculus found Celtic women charming, and every indicator of their social status suggests that it was quite high. Nevertheless, he added,&lt;blockquote&gt;The men are much keener on their own sex; they lie around on animal skins and enjoy themselves, with a lover one each side. The extraordinary thing is they haven’t the smallest regard for their personal dignity or self-respect; they offer themselves to other men without the least compunction. Furthermore, this isn’t looked down on, or regarded as in any way disgraceful: on the contrary, if one of them is rejected by another to whom he has offered himself, he takes offence.&lt;/blockquote&gt; Evidence that the Celtic love of warriors may have extended to the British Isles (which the Celts invaded c. 200 B.C.) can be found in the Irish saga ''Tain Bo Caulinge''. The hero Cuchulain explains that he does not want to fight his foster brother and former comrade in arms Ferdia: 
** p.111

* Class-structured homosexuality appears with the dawn of economic stratification. Here the two partners are drawn from different economic strata or classes, the wealthier partner purchasing or commanding the sexual services of the poorer. The partners may differ in age, gender, or preference for particular types of contact, but these differences do not define the relationship. What does is the preference of the wealthier partner. Thus Captain Blight, visiting Tahiti in the late eighteenth century, observed a chief sucking the penis of his attendant. By the usual conventions linking rank and sex role, this transaction should not have occurred. The attendant should have been sucking the chief. However, the chief occupied a social position that enabled him to gratify his personal preference irrespective of conventions about homosexual roles. In societies were social relations are commercialized wealth bestows sexual power. &lt;br&gt; Two forms of homosexuality are particularly common in antiquity: prostitution and intercourse with slaves.
** p.117

* One of the Spanish sources, Bartolome de las Casas, writing in 1542, reported that [[Mayan]] parents supplied their adolescent sons with boys to use as sexual outlets before marriage, but that if someone else sodomized them, the penalty was equal to that for rape. Since de las Casas denied the existence of homosexuality in some other Indian groups, his attribution of homosexuality to the Mayans cannot be attributed to a blanket prejudice against Indians. Other missionaries also reported widespread male homosexuality among the Mayans. Young Mayan men lived in men's houses until they married at about age twenty.

* Father Pierre de Gand, also known as de Mura, found sodomy to be virtually universal among the [[Aztecs]], involving even children as young as six. Cortez also found sodomy to be widespread among the Aztec's, and admonished them to give it up-along with human sacrifices and cannibalism.
** p.164

* Some of the people who made up the [[Inca]] empire also had institutionalized homosexuality. This includes the Yauyos, who had &quot;public houses filled with men who dressed as women and painted their faces,&quot; the Liysacas of Lake Chucuito, and Indians in the vicinity of Puerto Viejo in the north (now Ecuador) and on the island of Puna. In some parts of the empire, boys were dedicated to the temple, where they were raised as girls; chiefs and headmen had ritual intercourse with them on special holidays. The Inca princes themselves, however, did not engage in these practices.
** p. 165

* That the harshness of Inca and Aztec legislation toward homosexuality involved more than a reaction to indigenous berdaches is suggested by the equally severe penalties imposed on other violations of morals legislation. The Incas punished pimps and prostitutes severely, by death if the offense was repeated. Incest and adultery were capital offenses in both empires. Drunkeness was illegal under the Incas and a capital offense under the Aztecs. Abortion was also a capital offense under the Aztecs. Aztec youths lost their rights to land if they did not marry by a certain age. Inca men were also forced to marry.
** p.167

* Ever since the sixteenth century, Western visitors have commented on the pervasiveness of [[Turkish]] pederasty. Large numbers of boys were captured or purchased for personal use, placed in brothels, or resold; the demand for them struck all observers as remarkable.
** p.179

* Burton found the cities of [[Afghan]] to be &quot;saturated with the Persian vice&quot; at the end of the ninteenth century. Afghan merchants were invariably, &quot;accompanied by a number of boys and lads almost in woman's attire with kohl'd eyes and rouged cheeks, log tresses and henna's fingers and toes, riding luxuriously in Kajawas or camelpanniers. They are called Kuch-i safari or traveling wives, and the husbands tridge patiently by their sides. &lt;br&gt; Male homosexuality remains common in Afghanistan, as does harem lesbianism.
** p.180

* The Moslem rulers of [[India]] often maintained youthful male lovers, and male brothels flourished. Burton visited a number of them in 1845. &lt;br&gt; At first glance, the early Mongols appear to have been an exception to the broad pattern. The ''Great Yassa'', a law code issued by Ghenghiz Khan or at his death for the still-pagan Mongol tribes around 1219, to supplement Mongolian customary law, mandated the death penalty for both sodomites and adulterers. This is not what one would expect in a tribe of nomadic pastoralists with a shamanistic religion. It seems likely that this severe penalty reflects the influence of Christians, Jews, or Moslems, to whom Ghengiz extended hospitality. Ghenghiz was himself illiterate, and might well have called on a literate foreigner to prepare a code of laws.  
** p.181

* [[Zoroastrianism]], founded in [[Iran]] at an unknown date by the prophet Zoroaster (Zarathura) who reformed the old Aryan religion on, took a far harsher view of homosexuality. The subject is not mentioned in the Gathas (the earliest known Zoroastrian scriptures), which are  attributed directly to Zoroaster. However, the later ''Vendidad'', or ''Code Against the Devas'', which contains much of the Zoroastrian moral teaching, places sodomites among the ranks of those who may be killed on the spot, along with brigands, burners of carrion in a fire, and criminals taken in the act. Later texts, from the ninth century A.D., continue to regard homosexuality as heinous.
** p.186

* Perhaps more to the point, the severe penances for homosexual offenses are matched in a number of the [[w:Penetentials|penitentials]] by equally severe penances for heterosexual sins. Thus the Irish ''Penitential of Cummean'' calls for seven years' penance for men guilty of habitual homosexual practices (less for a first offense) and seven years' penance for heterosexual adultery. The book of ecclesiastical discipline issued by Region of Prum specifies a penalty of three years for anal intercourse whether the anus is that of a male or a female and also three years for heterosexual fornication. Similarly, the ''Book of David'' (c. 500-525) states that those who have committed fornication with a woman who hass been vowed to Christ or a husband, or with a beast or a male &quot;for the remainder of their lived dead to the world shall live unto God&quot; - presumably in perpetual encloisterment. The ''Penitential of Theodore'' requires three years' penance if a woman practices vice with another woman - or with herself and also demands equal maximum penalties of fifteen years in cases of heterosexual or homosexual fornication.
** p.264-265

* Beginning in the mid-thirteenth century, French secular legislation adopted stiff new measures against homosexual relations. ''Li livres de jostice et de Plet'', probably written around 1260 in Orleans, called for the amputation of the testicles of first-time offenders, the removal of the penis for a second offense, and burning of third-time offenders. Women were to be mutilated for the first two offenses and burned for a third. 
* In addition to this body of national legislation, starting in the mid-twelfth century, the self governing towns of northern Italy, northern France, Flanders, and the Rhine Valley began to enact municipal statutes dealing with sodomy. Many of the laws, such as that adopted in Perugia in 1342, provided fines for first and second offenses and execution by burning for third-timers. Amputation of hands or feet, exile and confiscation of goods were common provisions. &lt;br&gt; With time, penalties began to escalate. In a law of 1250, the first statute known to deal with homosexuality, Bologna permitted men banished from the city because of a sodomy conviction to pay a fine and return, but in 1259, banishment was made permanent. Later that year, sodomy was made a capital offense.
** p.272

== See also ==
{{col-begin}}
{{col-2}}
* [[Bisexuality]]
* [[Gay men]]
* [[Gender]]
* [[Heterosexuality]]
* [[Lesbian]]
{{col-2}}
* [[LGBT]]
* [[LGBT in Islam]]
* [[LGBT rights]]
* [[Queer]]
* [[Sexuality]]
{{col-end}}

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Wiktionary|homosexuality}}

[[Category:LGBT]]</text>
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      <text bytes="100467" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Homosexuality|Homosexuality]]''' is romantic attraction, sexual attraction or sexual behavior between members of the same gender.

[[File:Gay Pride Flag.svg|thumb|Gay rights are human rights. ~ [[Hillary Clinton]]]]
[[File:Henry_Scott_Tuke_-_A_woodland_bather.jpg|thumb|right|&quot;Unasked by night; I am true Love, I fill &lt;br&gt;The hearts of boy and girl with mutual flame.&quot; &lt;br&gt;Then sighing said the other, &quot;Have thy will, &lt;br&gt;I am the Love that dare not speak its name.&quot; ~ [[w:Lord Alfred Douglas|Lord Alfred Douglas]]]]
[[File:Henry_Scott_Tuke_-_Lovers_of_the_Sun.jpg|thumb|right|If it be sin to love a lovely lad &lt;br&gt;Oh there sin I. ~ [[Richard Barnfield]]]]
[[File:Boucher Diane sortant du bain Louvre 2712.jpg|thumb|right|''Diane sortant du bain'' by [[w:Francois Bouche|Francois Bouche]]]]
[[File:Gay marriage protester outside the Minnesota Senate chamber.jpg|thumb|Some people are uncomfortable with gays, but your discomfort with my sexuality should not translate into me having less [[rights]] as an [[American]]. ~ [[Daayiee Abdullah]]]]
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929),_%22The_Bathers%22.jpg|thumb|right|Homosexuality is assuredly no advantage, but it is nothing to be ashamed of, no vice, no degradation, it cannot be classified as an illness. ~ [[Sigmund Freud]]]]
[[File:Крамской И.Н. Молитва Моисея после перехода израильтян через Черное море 1861.jpg|thumb|You shall not [[w:Homosexuality in the Hebrew Bible#Leviticus 18 and 20|lie with a male as with a woman]]; it is an [[w:Abomination (Bible)#Tōʻēḇā|abomination]]. ~ [[Moses]]]]
[[File:Wilhelm von Gloeden Nude boy.jpg|thumb|Wilhelm von Gloeden Nude boy]]
[[File:Gloeden, Wilhelm von (1856-1931) - n. 0241 - da - Amore e arte, p. 80.jpg|thumb|Gloeden, Wilhelm von (1856-1931) - n. 0241 - da - Amore e arte, p. 80]]
[[Image:Édouard-Henri Avril (19).jpg|thumb|[[Socrates]] and Alkibiades (Édouard-Henri Avril, 1860)]]
[[File:JackXArik.png|thumb|Artist illustration of &quot;Yaoi&quot;, depicting a homoerotic relationship between male characters]]
[[File:Gustave Courbet - Le Sommeil (1866), Paris, Petit Palais.jpg|thumb|[[Gustave Courbet]], 1866]]

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== A==
* Nowhere in the [[Quran]] does it say punish [[w:LGBT in Islam|homosexuals]]. And historians have also never found any case of the [[Prophet]] [[Muhammad]] dealing with homosexuality.
** [[Daayiee Abdullah]], as quoted in ''[http://www.moroccoworldnews.com/2015/05/159043/first-gay-imam-in-usa-says-quran-doesnt-call-for-punishment-of-homosexuals/ First Gay ‘Imam’ in USA Says ‘Quran Doesn’t Call for Punishment of Homosexuals’]'' (22 May 2015), ''{{w|Morocco World News}}''.

* When I graduated from [[high school]], I hoped that one day [[w:LGBT in the United States|gay Americans]] would be able to [[w:Same-sex marriage in the United States|get married]]. And now here I am 45 years later officiating [[same-sex marriage]]s—how can I not be optimistic that the [[future]] is bright?
** [[Daayiee Abdullah]], as quoted in ''[http://www.moroccoworldnews.com/2015/05/159043/first-gay-imam-in-usa-says-quran-doesnt-call-for-punishment-of-homosexuals/ First Gay ‘Imam’ in USA Says ‘Quran Doesn’t Call for Punishment of Homosexuals’]'' (22 May 2015), ''{{w|Morocco World News}}''.

* Some don't believe that homosexuals can be [[pious]]. But we can be just as good at our [[faith]] as anyone else. We are simply different from other folks, not less committed to our faith.
** [[Daayiee Abdullah]], as quoted in ''[http://www.moroccoworldnews.com/2015/05/159043/first-gay-imam-in-usa-says-quran-doesnt-call-for-punishment-of-homosexuals/ First Gay ‘Imam’ in USA Says ‘Quran Doesn’t Call for Punishment of Homosexuals’]'' (22 May 2015), ''{{w|Morocco World News}}''.

* '''Some people are uncomfortable with gays, but your discomfort with my sexuality should not translate into me having less [[rights]] as an [[American]].'''
** [[Daayiee Abdullah]], as quoted in ''[http://www.moroccoworldnews.com/2015/05/159043/first-gay-imam-in-usa-says-quran-doesnt-call-for-punishment-of-homosexuals/ First Gay ‘Imam’ in USA Says ‘Quran Doesn’t Call for Punishment of Homosexuals’]'' (22 May 2015), ''{{w|Morocco World News}}''.

* [[God]] tells us men fucking men is a terrible thing, but a father offering his two daughters, vestal [[Virginity|virgins]] no less, to a horde of horny buggers is [[heroic]]. Now that's straight. … God destroys the faggots with fire and brimstone. He turns a disobedient wife into salt. But he asks us to [[Idolatry|idolize]] [[Drunkenness|drunks]] [[Incest|who sleep with their daughters]] or offer them to a horny, unruly mob.
** [[Rabih Alameddine]] on the [[Bible|biblical narrative]] of Lot and his family confronting the inhabitants of [[Sodom and Gomorrah]], as quoted by Wail S. Hassan in ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=vA5pAgAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PA207 Immigrant Narratives: Orientalism and Cultural Translation in Arab American and Arab British Literature]'' (2011), Oxford University Press, {{ISBN|978-0-19-979206-1}}, page 207.

* Even though homosexuality is considered a sin in all the Semitic holy books, it does not require any punishment in this world. It is a sin that will accompany its committee in the life after death.
** [[Salman al-Ouda]] - [http://www.jpost.com/Middle-East/Saudi-cleric-Homosexuality-not-a-deviation-from-Islam-should-not-be-punished-452957 Saudi cleric: 'Homosexuality not a deviation from Islam, should not be punished'] (30 April 2016)

* Homosexuals are not deviating from Islam. Homosexuality is a grave [[w:Islamic views on sin|sin]], but those who say that homosexuals deviate from Islam are the real deviators. By condemning [[w:Death penalty for homosexuality|homosexuals to death]] they are committing a graver sin than homosexuality itself.
** [[Salman al-Ouda]] - [http://www.jpost.com/Middle-East/Saudi-cleric-Homosexuality-not-a-deviation-from-Islam-should-not-be-punished-452957 Saudi cleric: 'Homosexuality not a deviation from Islam, should not be punished'] (30 April 2016)

* Even though homosexuality does not distance oneself from Islam, the Islam does not encourage individuals who have same-sex attraction to show their feelings in public.
** [[Salman al-Ouda]] - [http://www.jpost.com/Middle-East/Saudi-cleric-Homosexuality-not-a-deviation-from-Islam-should-not-be-punished-452957 Saudi cleric: 'Homosexuality not a deviation from Islam, should not be punished'] (30 April 2016)

* Some highly religious people are outraged that atheists would publicly declare their lack of faith. Accordingly many of the people who belong to atheist associations hide their beliefs from most others, knowing from experience it could affect their employment, membership in other clubs, and social connections. It reminds me of the reaction of many high RWAs when homosexuals began to come out: “Don’t these people know they’re supposed to be ashamed of what they are?” That in turn reminded me of the reaction of many White supremists to the civil rights movement: “Don’t these n------ know they’re inferior and should never be treated as our equals?” Fortunately, eventually, minorities can overcome these reactions.
** [[Bob Altemeyer]], ''The Authoritarians'' (2006), p. 160

* ''Visible minorities''. Along this same line, high RWAs misperceive how diverse America is. It’s quite natural to think, when you are in the white, Christian, heterosexual, solvent majority that this is a ''huge'' majority. Minorities should speak out for their rights. If they don’t, they are (among other things) helping a lot of the majority remain steeped in ignorance. People can learn, but they won’t have a chance if the minorities remain invisible. I know, I know, the high RWAs will howl whatever chorus their leaders dictate when minorities become “uppity”. But recall the evidence that nothing improves authoritarians’ attitudes toward homosexuals as much as getting to know a homosexual--or learning that they’ve known one for years.
** [[Bob Altemeyer]], ''The Authoritarians'' (2006), p. 242

* On July 20, 2005, Canada legalized same-sex marriage. Homosexuals had already been getting legally married in most of the provinces for several years, so the federal law just established the right from sea to shining sea. By October 2006, about 12,500 same-sexed couples had gotten married. Getting the right acknowledged had been a struggle. Opponents attacked gay marriage primarily on two fronts: it would violate certain Biblical texts, and it would destroy the family. The first point is beyond dispute but unconvincing, I think, because everyone chooses which Biblical texts he'll follow and which he'll ignore. Numbers 15:32-36 says people who pick up sticks on the Sabbath should be executed, by stoning no less. But if you start chucking rocks at your neighbor next Sabbath as he mows his lawn, you'll probably get into a lot of trouble. &lt;br&gt;As for destroying the family, what's the evidence? And where's the outcry about divorce, a clear and present family wrecker, which Jesus most definitely condemned, which nevertheless happens quite commonly among religious opponents of same-sex marriage? Does same-sex marriage threaten the family, much less destroy it? Most of the homosexual couples in Canada who have wanted to get married have tied the knot in the past few years. And you know what? The traditional family is still sailing along (or floundering) exactly as before. &lt;br&gt;Divorce courts have not been swamped by homosexuals demanding to be set free from unhappy heterosexual unions so they can marry their true, same-sexed love. The few married homosexual couples who have adopted children have not been found to be raising a generation of &quot;gays just like Mom and Mom.&quot; Heterosexual lovers still buy virtually all of the marriage certificates at the courthouse, and heterosexual ex-lovers still fill the dockets down the hall in the divorce court. &lt;br&gt;In short, the biggest threat to traditional marriage and the mom &amp; dad family has not been posed by homosexual marriage but, overwhelmingly, by unhappy heterosexuals. So what's all the fuss about? How big a problem can this possibly be?
** [[Bob Altemeyer]], ''Sex and Youth: A Twenty-Four Year Investigation'' (2009), p. 207-208

* Increasingly, people say &quot;Who cares?&quot; Yes, gays can still run into a brick wall, even in California, when it comes to getting married. But I've been studying attitudes toward homosexuals since 1984, and my investigations show the same thing that national polls do: attitudes toward homosexuality have become markedly less negative in a short time. For example, when I began my studies most students, and their parents, agreed with the statement, &quot;I won't associate with known homosexuals if I can help it.&quot; Now, most students and parents say they don't at all mind associating with homosexuals. Brick walls can crumble.
** [[Bob Altemeyer]], ''Sex and Youth: A Twenty-Four Year Investigation'' (2009), p. 208

* I'm not saying that people shouldn't be able to get a divorce. I'm saying that there's a teensy-weensy bit of hypocrisy in a group opposing gay marriage on religious and &quot;save the family&quot; grounds when one-fifth to one-third of its members have themselves been divorced.
** [[Bob Altemeyer]], ''Sex and Youth: A Twenty-Four Year Investigation'' (2009), p. 217

* You can see the double standard regarding homosexuality very vividly in most heterosexual &quot;skin magazines,&quot; which will often have two, three, or more fetching young ladies hugging or kissing together in the altogether. But there are no similar layouts featuring (Lord help us!) guys in men's magazines. (At least that was true the last time I looked at them- strictly in the interest of science, you understand- some years ago.) Maybe men are so tolerant of lesbian activity partly because they'd like to join in, too.
** [[Bob Altemeyer]], ''Sex and Youth: A Twenty-Four Year Investigation'' (2009), p. 218

* Ye lads of grace and sprung from worthy stock &lt;br&gt; Grudge not to brave men converse with your beauty &lt;br&gt; In cities of Chalcis, Love, looser of limbs &lt;br&gt; Thrives side by side with courage.
** [[Aristotle]], ''Eroticus'' fr. 98 Rose (= Plutarch, Amatorius 760f), quoted at Cantarella p. 71 and Crompton p. 10 from the translation of F.C. Babbit, Plutarch: Moralia, vol. 9. Loeb Classical Library no. 425 (London, repr. 1961) p. 377.

== B ==
* '''If it be sin to love a lovely lad'''
:'''Oh there sin I.'''
:* [[Richard Barnfield]], &quot;The Affectionate Shepherd&quot;.

* Pre-World War II prejudices against homosexuals are hard to summarize, because scholars disagree as to when the category of &quot;homosexual&quot; even became recognizable in Europe. It seems evident that in antiquity certain forms of intimacy between people of the same sex did not carry a stigma or preclude sexual relations with members of the opposite se. By the modern era, however, much of this flexibility was gone, although the supposedly prudish society of Victorian England showed considerable tolerance for at least some kinds of same-sex intimacies. For example, many people considered sexual experimentation among boys in boarding schools to be a normal part of development; loving relationships between women who often became lifelong companions were not uncommon either. Nevertheless, by the late nineteenth century many parts of Europe had introduced laws against homosexuality. The German criminal code of 1871 explicitly forbade sexual relations between men. The state prosecuted some cases, and public interest in such &quot;scandals&quot; ran high. For example, it was an enormous sensation when prince Eulenberg, a member of the inner circle of the German Kaiser Wilhelm II (1888-1918), was charged with homosexual activities and forced from public life. Somewhat paradoxically, an increased openness around the subject of human sexuality in the decades after World War I served to make homosexual men and women more visible in Europe and to increase the panic some heterosexuals felt about them.
** Doris L. Bergen, ''War and Genocide: A Concise History of the Holocaust'' (2016), Third Edition, p. 33

* Political changes in Germany after World War I made it possible for the first time for Berlin to develop a gay scene that included clubs, restaurants, and bathhouses frequented by homosexual men. Lesbians, it seems, tended to attract less public attention, although there were also some clubs popular with homosexual women. Laws against sex between men were still on the books in Germany's first democracy, the Weimar Republic, but enforcement was slacker than it had been before World War I, especially in major cities. Many heterosexual Germans, however, disapproved of what they considered their overly permissive society. Magnus Hirschfeld (1868-1935), a sex reformer and homosexual rights leader in Berlin, made an international reputation for his research in sexology, the new field of studies of sex and sexuality. Hirschfeld regarded homosexuality as the &quot;third sex,&quot; a natural and legitimate variant between masculine and feminine. Homosexuals, he pointed out, looked and behaved normally and should be treated accordingly. For many people the work of researchers and activists such as Hirschfeld offered new possibilities for human freedom. For others it seemed to represent the decadence of a society that had abandoned its traditional values. Hitler's Nazis capitalized on such fears as well; they forced Hirschfeld out of Germany, and his research institute was one of the first casualties of the new regime.
** Doris L. Bergen, ''War and Genocide: A Concise History of the Holocaust'' (2016), Third Edition, p. 33-34

* In ''Mein Kampf'' Hitler had made it clear that he planned to &quot;deal with&quot; the Jews. He started his social revolution, however, with attacks on a group that was even less likely to receive public support: homosexual men. In the 1920s and early 1930s, Berlin and other major German cities had become centers of a small but vibrant gay culture. Even before the Nazis came to power, police had sometimes harassed men known or suspected to be homosexual; many Germans regarded homosexuality as deviant and decadent and urged their government to crack down by imposing what they considered moral and sexual order. Since 1871, Paragraph 175 of the German criminal code had outlawed sexual relations between men: &quot;A male who indulges in criminally indecent activities with another male or who allows himself to participate in such activities will be punished with jail.&quot; The prohibition did not mention sexual acts between women. Hitler built on this law in early 1933 to ban homosexual rights organizations in Germany. According to National Socialist teachings, homosexuals were an abomination because they opted out of the reproduction of the so-called Aryan master race. Moreover, according to Himmler and others, homosexual men in public positions of any kind were dangerous because they were always vulnerable to blackmail.
** Doris L. Bergen, ''War and Genocide: A Concise History of the Holocaust'' (2016), Third Edition, p. 73

* It was also politically expedient for Hitler's new government to lash out against gay culture, because opponents of Nazism charged the movement, in particular the Stormtroopers and SS, with fostering and glamorizing intimate relations between men. Communist and Socialist enemies of Nazism had been known to mock those obsessively male organizations as stomping grounds for deviants, and some conservative and Christian critics leveled the same accusations. Antagonistic Nazis focused on gay men; they seemed for the most part not to see lesbian or bisexual women as posing a particular threat, because women did not exercise public power by serving in the military or at high ranks of the bureaucracy. In any case women, some Nazi activists presumed, could always be forced to bear children for the German Volk, regardless of their own sexual orientation. Nevertheless, in individual cases lesbians were persecuted as so-called asocial elements. Leadership from above prompted initiatives by people acting out their own hostilities. In 1933, Nazi Stormtroopers and other thugs raided gay bars and clubs in German cities and forced many of them to close. A few managed to remain open longer- some intermittently until the end of World War II- but under constant threat of raids and violence. In May 1933, a group of Nazi students stormed and destroyed the Institute for Sexual Research in Berlin. Its director was the gay rights activist Magnus Hirschfeld, whom his opponents also vilified because he was Jewish. For the most part the German public was indifferent or cheered such offensives.
** Doris L. Bergen, ''War and Genocide: A Concise History of the Holocaust'' (2016), Third Edition, p. 73-74

* ''Die Freundschaft zwischen Geschlechtsgleichen bekommt einen erotischen Ton, der ins Bewusstsein tritt, and der sich auch mitunter bis zur Begierde steigert. Hier begann für die altere Medizin die Pathologie, wie für die ältere Juristik die Kriminalität, ohne dass in dem natürlichen Verhalten irgend ein Grund für einen von beiden gegeben wäre.''
** Friendship between those of the same sex attains an erotic tone, which comes into consciousness, and which also occasionally increases to the point of desire. Here, for older medicine, was where pathology began, for older jurisprudence, where criminality began, without providing any reason for either.	
*** [[Hans Blüher]], ''The German [[w:Wandervogel|Wandervogel Movement]] as Erotic Phenomenon: A Contribution to the Knowledge of Sexual Inversion'' (1914), p. 34

* For example, when your children are being repeatedly told about the virtues of LBGT behaviors or &quot;same-sex marriage is a civil right,&quot; what are you going to say to them? Do same-sex behaviors and marriages present God's vision for His people? A well-informed family chaplain knows enough to say, &quot;Let's talk about this. Because first of all, the Bible is clear about such behavior and second, I don't think you know much about the civil rights era or what a 'civil right' really is.&quot; I was around during the civil rights movement and maybe you were, too. But if not, you'll have to do your homework. That way you're able to say, &quot;OK, I've studied this. So, let me explain to you what the civil rights movement was all about. It was about people not being given equal freedoms and opportunities because of the color of their skin. You can explain how those who were deprived of their rights didn't choose to be that color- black, brown, whatever- any more than some of us turned out to be white. But of this we can be sure; we are all made in the image of God- just the way we are.
** [[William G. Boykin]], ''Man to Man: Rediscovering Masculinity in a Challenging World'' (2020), p. 158-159

* With that in mind, is it okay to say those who are involved in homosexual relationships were created that way and therefore they have a &quot;civil right&quot; to do whatever they feel like doing? No, that's not what the Bible teaches us. The Bible frames homosexual behavior as a ''choice''- and not a good choice. That ''chosen behavior'' is not godly, because the Scripture is clear about the sinful nature of homosexuality. By the way, it's no different, and no worse, than the guy who's sleeping with his secretary instead of his wife. It's all sexual sin and it's covered in Romans I and elsewhere in the Bible. Now let me be clear on a couple things at this point, since I know already that I will be criticized for even raising the issue of homosexuality. First of all, sin is sin, period. I know; I am guilty of committing many of them. Christians need to see homosexuality in the context of all the sins listed in the Bible. Some have greater consequences, but all sin is wrong and separates us from the closeness to God that we should be seeking in our lives. If you are a practicing homosexual and I am a fornicator, who has committed the greater sin? Well, I hope you get to the point that we are equally sinners. It is all wrong and displeasing to God.
** [[William G. Boykin]], ''Man to Man: Rediscovering Masculinity in a Challenging World'' (2020), p. 159-160

* The second point is that while the Supreme Court may have created rights for LBGT couples to marry, that does not mean I am under any mandate to celebrate it. I will not be bullied into compromising on my beliefs about the whole issue of sexual sin or any other kind of sin for that matter. Sin not only break's God's laws, it breaks His heart. As a spiritual leader of my home, I need to communicate how sin not only grieves God, but it grieves me as well because it hurts all involved. 
** [[William G. Boykin]], ''Man to Man: Rediscovering Masculinity in a Challenging World'' (2020), p. 160

* Imagine seeing an attractive girl in the hallway who's in one of your classes, but who you've never really had the chance to talk with. Somehow, you get into a conversation with her. She seems nice, and you like her, and she's laughing and you're starting to get hopeful. Then a couple of football players come around the corner and say, &quot;Hey, what the hell are you talking to her for, faggot? Do you actually think you have a chance with her?&quot; And then they pick you up and push you into a locker, and you look like a pathetic weakling in front of the girl you were trying so hard to impress. Such things were commonplace at Columbine. If a guy was acting in the Columbine drama program, he was immediately labeled a &quot;drama fag.&quot; Not only was he not playing sports- which was what all normal guys were supposed to do at Columbine- but he was into that fine arts crap! The bullies found whatever weakness they could and went after it. I was a wuss because I wasn't in sports. I was gay because I liked theatre. Then when I was in debate, it was like, &quot;Ooh, you must be smart, huh huh huh.&quot; Apparently, they thought calling someone &quot;smart&quot; was an insult.
** Brooks Brown, ''No Easy Answers: The Truth Behind Death At Columbine'' (2006) with Rob Merritt, 2nd edition, p. 61

* This reluctance on the part of so many, to say an out and out yes to God and no to sin and its accompanying evil, has brought our present generation to its sorry state. We are not opposing an individual's right to be treated with equality and fairness, but we did rise in opposition to the misleading demand of so-called civil rights for homosexuals who are not a legitimate oppressed minority with the same claims and rights as, say, Chicanos and blacks.
** [[Anita Bryant]], ''The Anita Bryant Story: The Survival of Our Nation's Families and the Threat of Militant Homosexuality'' (1977), p. 34

* The attempt by homosexuals to label this as a civil-rights issue was nothing but camouflage. If we as a nation eventually came to the place where this is sanctioned as a legitimate civil-rights issue, then what is to stop the adulterer from claiming &quot;adulterer rights,&quot; the murderer from shouting &quot;murderer rights,&quot; the thief to claim &quot;extortioner rights,&quot; and a rebellious young person to insist on &quot;rebellious-child rights&quot;?
** [[Anita Bryant]], ''The Anita Bryant Story: The Survival of Our Nation's Families and the Threat of Militant Homosexuality'' (1977), p. 35

* I repeat my belief: Homosexuals do not suffer discrimination when they keep their perversions in the privacy of their homes. They can hold any job, transact any business, join any organization- so long as they do not flaunt their homosexuality and try to establish role models for the impressionable young people- our children. I will continue to fight the attempts of Metro, and the attempts of a few Congressmen who on February 2 presented a similar type of bill in the Congress of the United States to legitimize homosexuality. Homosexuals cannot reproduce- so they must recruit. And to freshen their ranks, they must recruit the youth of America. I shall continue to fight against that recruitment. Those who do not share my conviction may continue to blacklist my talent- but with God's help, they can never blacken my name.
** [[Anita Bryant]], ''The Anita Bryant Story: The Survival of Our Nation's Families and the Threat of Militant Homosexuality'' (1977), p. 62

* There are books out now, and there are those making speeches who accuse me of putting down homosexuals and making them out to be second-class citizens. They say I have shown no compassion to homosexuals. We are said to be giving out hysterical misinformation and making judgments and pronouncements without knowing or understanding what we are talking about. They say we are lacking in understanding. We are labeled as generating hatred and using Christianity as a way of discrimination. We are said to have tremendous hostility and hatred for the homosexual. I cannot tell you how this saddens me. I truly do love the homosexual, and all sinners for that matter. It has been said that I am a one-issue person, which is not true. I hate &quot;sins&quot; in the plural just as Billy Graham, Oral Roberts, and other public religious figures have expressed. I have spoken out on the issue of homosexuality because it is the one we were confronted with. I have said it hundreds of times, and I'll go on saying it. I love the homosexual too much not to tell him the truth. I  love these people enough to care about where they're going to spend eternity. And I love them enough to want to do something to help them.
** [[Anita Bryant]], ''At Any Cost'' (1978) by Anita Bryant and Bob Green, p. 17-18

* When I repeat what the Bible says about sin- including homosexual acts- and emphasize that God calls for repentance (which means a feeling of sorrow and changing one's ways), I do so with compassion. Deliberate and unrepentant sin of ''any'' kind is contrary to the will of God, and until we admit ''and forsake'' our sin we cannot experience the forgiveness of God in Christ. Such statements on my part do not reveal a poverty of compassion. What my critics' statements reveal is the depths of depravity to which the human mind will go to justify and hang onto one's self-centered sexuality. The biblical truths of which I speak do not originate with me. This call for repentance is not my idea. My source book of truth is the Word of God.
** [[Anita Bryant]], ''At Any Cost'' (1978) by Anita Bryant and Bob Green, p. 18

* There are well-known church leaders who are saying the church must counter my statements. One such woman leader stated: &quot;Society doesn't have enough knowledge about homosexuality to consider it without being judgmental. This is one of those areas that we don't know enough about now. I don't know why, but God makes people feel this way, and I know He loves them, and I don't feel like being judgmental about it... This is a misuse of religion that we have had through all of the centuries about anything we don't like. In terms of loving people, I think it's a terribly unloving way to behave.&quot; ''God makes people this way...'' What could be more erroneous than to blame God for the sin of homosexuality? No one can lay that charge to the Almighty. Research data consistently shows that homosexuals must make a choice whether to act out their sexual preference or to keep it under control. Jerry Kirk in the book ''The Homosexual Crisis in the Mainline Church'' states that righteousness, not research, will decide where the church must stand. As of now the claims of scientists and researchers are contradictory. Either the church stands on the claims of the Word of God and faces up to the fact that God calls for moral responsibility, or it will be held accountable for failure to hold up the standards of righteousness.
** [[Anita Bryant]], ''At Any Cost'' (1978) by Anita Bryant and Bob Green, p. 35

* If I saw a man drowning, and I had it within my power to rescue that man, but I turned my back and walked away, what kind of a person would I be? That's love in action? Just so, I see the homosexual as a victim who needs help. I have it within my power to hold out to the homosexual, in Christlike compassion, that which will rescue him from eternal punishment. My way of showing love may not necessarily be the same as someone else's, but who is being judgmental when they accuse me of unloving behavior?
** [[Anita Bryant]], ''At Any Cost'' (1978) by Anita Bryant and Bob Green, p. 37

== C ==
[[File:Pan e Siringa.jpg|thumb|right|]]

* '''Catholics and other Christians are against abortions and they're against homosexuals. Well who has less abortions than homosexuals? Leave these fucking people ''alone'' for Christ's sake! Here is an entire class of people guaranteed never to have an abortion and the Catholics and the Christians are just tossing them aside. You'd think they'd make natural allies! Don't look for consistency in religion.'''
** [[George Carlin]], ''[[w:Back in Town (George Carlin album|Back in Town]]'' (1996), &quot;Abortion&quot;

* The reason for most violence against gays is that heterosexual men are forced to prove that they, themselves, are not gay. It goes like this: Men in strong male subcultures like the police, the military, and sports (and a few other cesspools) bond very strongly. Hunting, fishing, and golfing friendships also produce this unnatural bonding. These guys bond and bond, and get closer and closer, until finally they're just drunk enough to say, &quot;You know, I really love these guys.&quot; And that frightens them. So they must quickly add, &quot;But I'm not a queer!&quot; See the dilemma? Now they have to go out of their way to prove to the world, to their buddies, and to themselves that they don't harbor homoerotic feelings. And it's only a short step from &quot;I'm not a queer&quot; to &quot;In fact, I hate queers!&quot; And another short step to &quot;Let's go kill some queers!&quot; And what they really seek to kill is not the queer outside, it's the queer inside they fear.
** [[George Carlin]], ''[[w:Brain Droppings|Brain Droppings]]'' (1997), p. 64

*  God is happy that you are gay. God made you fucking gay cuz he thinks it is awesome.
** [[Margaret Cho]] [http://margaretcho.com/2008/09/17/im-a-christian-you-fuckers/ I'm a Christian you Fuckers]

* Yet of old the matter seemed even to be a law, and a certain law-giver among them bade the domestic slaves neither to use ointments when dry (i.e. except in bathing) nor to keep youths, giving the free this place of honor, or rather of shamefulness. Yet they, however, did not think the thing shameful, but as being a grand privilege, and one too great for slaves, the Athenian people, the wisest of people, and Solon who is so great among them, permitted it to the free alone. And sundry other books of the philosophers may one see full of this disease. But we do not therefore say that the thing was made lawful, but that they who received this law were pitiable, and objects for many tears. For these are treated in the same way as women that play the whore. Or rather their plight is more miserable. For in the case of the one the intercourse, even if lawless, is yet according to nature: but this is contrary both to law and nature. For even if there were no hell, and no punishment had been threatened, this were worse than any punishment. Yet if you say they found pleasure in it, you tell me what adds to the vengeance. For suppose I were to see a person running naked, with his body all besmeared with mire, and yet not covering himself, but exulting in it, I should not rejoice with him, but should rather bewail that he did not even perceive that he was doing shamefully.
** [[John Chrysostom]], Homily on Romans IV

* '''Gay rights are human rights.'''
** [[Hillary Clinton]], quoted in ''The Week'', 10 December 2011, p. 10

== D ==
[[File:François Lemoyne - Woman Bathing - WGA12659.jpg|thumb|right|]]
* Some people haven't figured it out yet. When it comes to sex, all women are gay. Some men are holdouts.	
** {{w|Betty Dodson}} as quoted in &quot;The Exercise Must Be Free&quot;, Jerry Talmer, GayCityNews, October 30, 2008 Archived December 27, 2008, at the Wayback Machine.

* A purple robe he wore, o'erwrought with gold
:With the device of a great snake, whose breath
:Was a fiery flame: which when I did behold
:I fell a-weeping and I cried, &quot;Sweet youth,
:Tell me why, sad and sighing, thou dost rove
:These pleasant realms? I pray thee speak me sooth
:What is thy name?&quot; He said, &quot;My name is Love.&quot;
:Then straight the first did turn himself to me
:And cried, &quot;He lieth, for his name is Shame,
:But I am Love, and I was wont to be
:Alone in this fair garden, till he came
:Unasked by night; I am true Love, I fill
:The hearts of boy and girl with mutual flame.&quot;
:Then sighing said the other, &quot;Have thy will,
:I am the Love that dare not speak its name.&quot;
:* [[w:Lord Alfred Douglas|Lord Alfred Douglas]] from &lt;i&gt;[[s:Two Loves (1894 poem)|Two Loves]]&lt;/i&gt;

* There can be little doubt that, as far as they thought of the matter at all, Marx and Engels were personally homophobic, as shown by an acerbic 1869 exchange of letters on Jean-Baptiste von Schweitzer, a German socialist rival. Schweitzer had been arrested in a park on a morals charge and not only did Marx and Engels refuse to join a committee defending him, they resorted to the cheapest form of bathroom humor in their private comments about the affair.
** {{W|Wayne R. Dynes}}, Encyclopedia of Homosexuality - Marxism
[[File:Boucher Leda och svanen.jpg|thumb|right|]]
* As early as the 1920s leaders of Western Communist parties began to float the idea that the public discussion of homosexuality, and the seeming increase in homosexual activity, resulted from the decadence of capitalism in its death throes. Homosexuality was to disappear in the healthy new society of the future.
** {{W|Wayne R. Dynes}}, Encyclopedia of Homosexuality - Marxism

== E ==

== F==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_Charlie_Mitchell.jpg|thumb|right|''Charlie Mitchell'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
* '''Homosexuality is assuredly no advantage, but it is nothing to be ashamed of, no vice, no degradation, it cannot be classified as an illness.'''
** [[Sigmund Freud]], letter to an American mother's plea to cure her son's homosexuality, April 9th. 1935. quoted in Vernon A. Rosario, ''Homosexuality and Science: A Guide to the Debates'', ABC-CLIO, 2002. Also quoted in David A. J. Richards, ''Sex, Drugs, Death, and the Law: An Essay on Human Rights and Overcriminalization''. [[w:Rowman &amp; Littlefield|Rowman &amp; Littlefield]], 1986  (p. 72).

== G==

* The origins of the two political movements at the heart of America's culture war are as humble as they are contemporary. The cultural ferment of the 1960s stands as the prelude to the battle to come. The first rousings of the modern gay movement date back to a sultry summer night in June 1969 when a ragtag group of drag queens and teenage hustlers rebelled against police harassment outside the Stonewall Inn, a Greenwich Village gay bar. The gays and lesbians who led the disturbance had little more to rely on than their anger. In a time when police raids on gay bars were the norm, they were largely at the mercy of hostile city officials. Routinely described as freaks and perverts in the press (one newspaper mockingly described the protesters as &quot;Queen Bees&quot;), they had little political organization to speak of, were characterized as mentally ill by the mainstream of the medical profession, and were generally banished from jobs and families if their sexuality was discovered. The political weakness and precarious social position of gays and lesbians at the time of Stonewall remains a fact that the religious right, intent on painting them as privileged and pathological, has been loath to accept. 
** John Gallagher and Chris Bull, ''The Religious Right, the Gay Movement, and the Politics of the 1990s'' (1996), Ch. 1

* The &quot;silent majority,&quot; Viguerie determined, was as motivated by a constellation of family issues, exemplified by gay rights and abortion, as the old conservative standard, anticommunism. The transition was a relatively smooth one. The old right had couched its anticommunism in the rhetoric of family values long before it was fashionable. Even though communism both in the United States and abroad was notoriously homophobic, the old right viewed it as weakening the Christian fabric of the nation, which would enable homosexuals to gain a stronger foothold. Homosexuals were often lampooned as limp-wristed &quot;pinkos,&quot; and perhaps the staunchest anticommunist of all, J. Edgar Hoover, took to attacking both homosexuals and communists in identical terms. Faced with the reality that communism was a dying ideology even before the decline of the Soviet Union, the new right and the religious right came to depict homosexuals as one of the chief evils of the modern world. It was the homosexual movement, particularly by gaining admission to the U.S. armed services, that would destroy America from within and make it vulnerable to foreign armies. Furthermore, by infiltrating the schools, homosexuals, like communists, had an insidious influence on the nation's most vulnerable commodity, its children. The new emphasis would leave the new right well stocked with new enemies closer to home after the fall of the &quot;Evil Empire&quot; in the mid-1980s.
** John Gallagher and Chris Bull, ''The Religious Right, the Gay Movement, and the Politics of the 1990s'' (1996), Ch. 1

*  The most bitter showdown came in California in 1978, when state senator and gubernatorial candidate John Briggs of Fullerton, armed with Bryant's contributor list, launched a drive to ban open homosexuals, or anyone advocating the 'gay lifestyle,&quot; from teaching in public schools. Largely as a result of unexpected opposition from then-governor [[Ronald Reagan]] and other prominent conservatives, the Briggs initiative lost by more than one million votes, 3.9 million to 2.8 million. Under intense lobbying from gay activists including David Mixner, who would go on to become a key adviser to President Clinton, Reagan refused to endorse the initiative on libertarian grounds, which should have tipped off his religious right supporters that he was not to be their messiah. The initiative &quot;is not needed to protect our children--we have that legal protection now,&quot; Reagan said. &quot;It has the potential of real mischief.... What if an overwrought youngster, disappointed by bad grades, imagined it was the teacher's fault and struck out by accusing the teacher of advocating homosexuality. Innocent lives could be ruined.&quot;
** John Gallagher and Chris Bull, ''The Religious Right, the Gay Movement, and the Politics of the 1990s'' (1996), Ch. 1

* Embittered by the unexpected defeat, Briggs, who once described gay men as women trapped in men's bodies,&quot; called San Francisco the &quot;moral garbage dump of homosexuality in this country.&quot; The Briggs battle coincided--indeed, helped propel--the first stirrings of urban gay political power. In San Francisco, Harvey Milk was elected to the Board of Supervisors in 1977. In Milk, antigay crusaders like Bryant and Briggs had met their match. The product of a middle-class Jewish family in Woodmere, New York, Milk supported Barry Goldwater's right wing presidential campaign in 1964. Caught up in the radicalism of the 1960s, Milk grew a ponytail, traded in his suit for bellbottoms, and headed off to San Francisco, where he opened a camera shop on Castro Street. By 1973, Milk was already blazing gay political trails, finishing tenth in a field of thirty-two candidates for the Board of Supervisors, despite the gay establishment's warning that it was too soon for an openly gay candidate to seek elected office. 
** John Gallagher and Chris Bull, ''The Religious Right, the Gay Movement, and the Politics of the 1990s'' (1996), Ch. 1

* The present status of gay activism makes it imperative that thinking Christians really understand the situation on the national scene... Evangelical Christians need to be alert to the implications of this gay force in their communities, their churches, and their nation. But most of all, they need to understand the underlying biblical and theological assumptions which have always made the church of Jesus Christ, though not always in an intelligent and loving way, clearly and unequivocally condemn homosexuality. The response of the real Christian on the issue of homosexuality should not be an emotional trauma toward the repulsion and stigma attached to the movement and its adherents. It should be a rather clear exposition of what the Bible has to say on the subject, with redemptive goals which have clear ramifications in society and the church.
** Kenneth O. Gangel, President of Miami Christian College (1974-1982), in ''Communicare'' magazine published by the College. As quoted by [[Anita Bryant]], ''The Anita Bryant Story: The Survival of Our Nation's Families and the Threat of Militant Homosexuality'' (1977), p. 33

* American society is already hospitable to passive and effeminate males. What they need is affirmation as men so that their existing androgyny does not lead to sexual suicide; to impotence and homosexuality. Contrary to the feminist view, the latitude of the two sexes is not the same. While women can venture into the masculine sphere without grave damage and can even indulge in occasional lesbianism, the greater sexual insecurity of males makes it more difficult and unsettling for them to engage in female roles. Homosexuality, moreover, can inflict permanent damage on their sexual identities. Because males must bear the burdens of initiation and performance in sexual activity, a homosexual fixation is often permanent. A man cannot be easily rescued by an aggressive woman.
** [[George Gilder]], ''Sexual Suicide'' (New York: Quadrangle Books, 1973), p. 226

* While there are many people who accept the romantic propaganda about male homosexual existence, the life of tricks and trades is in fact agonizing for most of its practitioners. Lasting relationships are few and sour. The usual circuit of gay bars, returning servicemen, forlorn personal advertisements, and street cruises affords gratifications so brief and squalid that the society should do everything it can to prevent the spread of the disease. This emphatically does not mean harassing or imprisoning homosexuals. In fact, the worst perversion occasioned by homosexuality is the police practice of entraptment. But at the same time it is crucial to affirm precarious males of their heterosexuality. Natural compassion for men who are already homosexual- and our recognition that men who are already homosexual- and our recognition that some have adjusted happily- should not lead us to praise or affirm the homosexual alternative or to acquiesce in its propaganda.
** [[George Gilder]], ''Sexual Suicide'' (New York: Quadrangle Books, 1973), p. 226

* At the same time that we teach empathy to the bullies, we need to stop sending the victims the message that their own behavior or traits are bringing on the attacks. This requires a fundamental change in the way adults view bullying. A child is not bullied because he is gay or autistic or overweight. A child is bullied because a bully has decided that the target is unacceptably different and less worthy of respect. We must teach the targets how to cognitively frame the bullying so that they do not think the abuse is their fault or something they deserve. Groundbreaking new research by Stan Davis and Charisse Nixon has shown that when a victim learns to think about the bullying in new ways- &quot;This bullying is not happening because I am overweight. It is happening because the bully is choosing to act in a mean and hateful way, and that is his fault, not mine&quot;- then the effects of the mistreatment are greatly diminished. Davis and Nixon's research also shows that many bullied kids find relief when they tell an adult or peer, but many are reluctant to do so.
** Carrie Goldman, ''Bullied: What Every Parent, Teacher and Kid Needs to Know About Ending the Cycle of Fear'' (2012) p. 270-271

==H==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1921_-_Morning_splendour.jpg|thumb|right|''Morning splendour'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
*We say that homosexuality is a perfectly natural state, a fact, a way of life, and that we enjoy our sexuality, without feelings of inferiority or guilt. We seek and find love, and approach love, as a feeling of loving mutuality.
**[[Harry Hay]], Statement of Purpose: Gay Liberation Front (Dec. 1969)

* …I knew that I was gay in every bone of my body. So I did the only thing I could do. I started the movement.
** [[Harry Hay]], on living a closeted married life in “Meet Pioneer of Gay Rights, Harry Hay” in ''The Progressive'' (2016 Aug 9)

*We do not even know-though we theorise and penalise with ferocious confidence-whether the &quot;normal&quot; sexual relationship is homo-, bi-, or hetero-sexual.
** [[w:Winifred Holtby|Winifred Holtby]], ''Women and A Changing Civilisation'', London, John Lane (1934) Quoted in Marion Shaw,''The Clear Stream : A Life of Winifred Holtby''. London : Virago, 1999 (p.60). Also quoted in Jane Garrity, ''Step-daughters of England: British Women Modernists and the National Imaginary,'' [[w:Manchester University Press|Manchester University Press]], 2003 (p.79).

==I==
==J==
==K==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1905_-_The_three_companions.jpg|thumb|right|''The three companions'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]

* Even laws enacted for broad and ambitious purposes often can be explained by reference to legitimate public policies which justify the incidental disadvantages they impose on certain persons. Amendment 2, however, in making a general announcement that gays and lesbians shall not have any particular protections from the law, inflicts on them immediate, continuing, and real injuries that outrun and belie any legitimate justifications that may be claimed for it. We conclude that, in addition to the far-reaching deficiencies of Amendment 2 that we have noted, the principles it offends, in another sense, are conventional and venerable; a law must bear a rational relationship to a legitimate governmental purpose, ''Kadrmas v. Dickinson Public Schools'', 487 U. S. 450, 462 (1988), and Amendment 2 does not.
** [[Anthony Kennedy]], author of the majority opinion in ''[[w:Romer v. Evans|Romer v. Evans]]'' (decided 20 May, 1996), 517 U.S. 620, 635, joined by Associate Justices Stevens, O'Connor, Souter, Ginsburg, Breyer

* The primary rationale the State offers for Amendment 2 is respect for other citizens' freedom of association, and in particular the liberties of landlords or employers who have personal or religious objections to homosexuality. Colorado also cites its interest in conserving resources to fight discrimination against other groups. The breadth of the amendment is so far removed from these particular justifications that we find it impossible to credit them. We cannot say that Amendment 2 is directed to any identifiable legitimate purpose or discrete objective. It is a status-based enactment divorced from any factual context from which we could discern a relationship to legitimate state interests; it is a classification of persons undertaken for its own sake, something the Equal Protection Clause does not permit. &quot;[C]lass legislation ... [is] obnoxious to the prohibitions of the Fourteenth Amendment .... &quot; ''Civil Rights Cases, 109'' U. S., at 24. &lt;br&gt;We must conclude that Amendment 2 classifies homosexuals not to further a proper legislative end but to make them unequal to everyone else. This Colorado cannot do. A State cannot so deem a class of persons a stranger to its laws. Amendment 2 violates the Equal Protection Clause, and the judgment of the Supreme Court of Colorado is affirmed. It is so ordered.
** [[Anthony Kennedy]], author of the majority opinion in ''[[w:Romer v. Evans|Romer v. Evans]]'' (decided 20 May, 1996), 517 U.S. 620, 635-636, joined by Associate Justices Stevens, O'Connor, Souter, Ginsburg, Breyer

* Gay: A sexual or affectional preference a self-identified man has for other men; as with lesbians, sometimes this identity is held regardless of gender identification.
** Michael Kimmel and The Stony Book Sexualities Research Group (editors), ''Sexualities: Identities, Behaviors, and Society'' (2004), 2nd Edition (2015), p. 681

* Now let us ask the question: Is there &quot;no room&quot; for the homosexual in the kingdom of God, and therefore, no room in the church? Scripture says both no and yes. All sinners are welcome at the Cross, but only repentant sinners are invited to become members of Christ's church. Calvin commented, &quot;The wicked do, indeed, inherit the kingdom of God, but only after they have been turned to the Lord in true repentance and justified after their conversion and so cease to be wicked.&quot; Scripture says no to the avowed, practicing, and unrepentant just as it says no to the practicing, unrepentant adulterer, robber, or idolator. But the answer is yes to the homosexual who, by the grace and love of God and the prayers and support of the Christian community, will repent of his or her behavior, turn to Christ, and seek God's power for a new lifestyle of wholeness.
** Jerry Kirk, ''The Homosexual Crisis In the Mainline Church'' (1978). Nashville: Thomas Nelson, Inc. Publishers, p. 73

* Most of us struggle with self-love, but the gay struggle is of a greater intensity. In much of the literature that has been written, gays seem to put the blame for their lack of self-acceptance on the attitudes of the church and the society. This is undoubtedly ''partially'' true of the many people who loathe and reject homosexuality and all that surrounds it. Some are in the church and some are in the society. They have been influenced by ''both'' the church and the society. In addition, the ''Bible'' has had a profound influence upon the moral values esteemed by people. &lt;br&gt;However, I also want to make a plea for gays to look more honestly at themselves and more responsibly to the Scriptures. Because the underlying reason for their lack of self-acceptance is sin, and the true moral guilt that comes with it, gays need to know that all of us find it difficult to accept ourselves and love ourselves. We find it most difficult when we are rebelling against God and living in sin. &lt;br&gt;Gays accuse us of focusing upon their sin and not facing our own. They say, &quot;why don't you face your sins of fornication and adultery as seriously as you want us to face our homosexuality? Why aren't you concerned about your inability to love us the way Jesus calls you to love us? Is that not as serious as our sin?&quot; Yes, it is. &lt;br&gt;Sin does reach the church. However, when we face our own sins squarely and gratefully accept God's grace, then we are set free to love fellow sinners. So I must say to the homosexual, if you are ''truly'' concerned over straight people's sins, turn your own sin over to Jesus Christ and then, please come help us! Should I not say the same thing to the rest of us? If we are truly concerned over homosexual sins, let us turn our sin over to Jesus Christ, and then, please come help them!
** Jerry Kirk, ''The Homosexual Crisis In the Mainline Church'' (1978). Nashville: Thomas Nelson, Inc. Publishers, p. 103

* It was when I was twelve years old that I encountered a homosexual for the first time. I had no idea what was going on. I was in a movie theater in Seattle and the fellow in the next seat put his hand on my knee. I waited a moment, assuming it was an accident and that he would remove it. Surprisingly, he didn't. Finally, I grabbed his hand with all my strength and literally threw it back at him. My adrenaline was pumping full steam. I bolted out of my seat, stalked back up the aisle several rows, and sat down. I stared at the back of that guy's head during much of the movie. Then, when I was older, I was in a car with a young man who put his arm around my shoulder. I think I was more frightened than anything else because he was in control of the car. It was a legitimate fear of the unknown that made me shout, &quot;Stop this car! I'm getting out of here!&quot;
** Jerry Kirk, ''The Homosexual Crisis In the Mainline Church'' (1978). Nashville: Thomas Nelson, Inc. Publishers, p. 127

* In the eyes of [[Fidel Castro|Castro]] and his revolutionary comrade [[Che Guevara]] — who frequently referred to gay men as maricones, “faggots” — homosexuality was inherently counterrevolutionary, a bourgeois decadence.
** ''Fidel Castro's Horrific Record on Gay Rights'', James Kirchick, 27 November 2016, The Daily Beast

* After two decades of building socialism in the USSR there is no reason for anybody to be a homosexual.
** [[Nikolai Krylenko]], on the law re-criminalizing homosexuality in 1936. Quoted in David Tuller, Cracks in the Iron Closet: Travels in Gay and Lesbian Russia, University of Chicago Press, 1996

==L==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1909_-_Two_boys_on_a_beach_(A_study_in_bright_sunlight).jpg|thumb|right|''Two boys on a beach'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
* [[Ballet]] is the fairies' [[baseball]].
** [[Oscar Levant]], as quoted in [https://www.newspapers.com/newspage/161384355/ &quot;Oscar the Magnificent&quot;] by Burt Prelutsky, in ''The Los Angeles Times'' (January 26, 1969), p. 468

* For educators with a conservative agenda, teaching that sex means heterosexual intercourse is part of the point. For straight unmarried boys and girls, according to them, anything more than holding hands is treacherous and sinful; homosexuality is beyond consideration.
** Judith Levine, ''Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children From Sex (2002), p. 130

* You shall not [[w:Homosexuality in the Hebrew Bible#Leviticus 18 and 20|lie with a male as with a woman]]; it is an [[w:Abomination (Bible)#Tōʻēḇā|abomination]].
** ''[[Book of Leviticus]]'' [[w:Leviticus 18|18:22]] ([[KJV]])

* If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
** ''[[Book of Leviticus]]'' [[w:Leviticus 20|20:13]] ([[KJV]])

* ...love is not enough... truth is also important... Good feelings cannot deliver the homosexual from the judgement of God. If he does not repent, he is doomed, but he is not alone. So are all other unrepentant sinners. God is no respecter of persons; He is also no respecter of one's sexual appetites. Hell will be partially populated by 'caring, honest, whole persons' who are proud they are gay.
** [[Harold Lindsell]], as quoted by [[Anita Bryant]] in ''The Anita Bryant Story: The Survival of Our Nation's Families and the Threat of Militant Homosexuality'' (1977), p. 111

==M==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1920_-_Youth_on_beach.jpg|thumb|right|''Youth on a beach'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
* While largely clandestine owing to laws prohibiting 'indecency' in public (the artist Simeon Solomon was one of those so prosecuted), private male homosexual acts were not explicitly and severely legislated against until 1885, when gay sex behind closed doors was made a criminal offence. This led, most notoriously, to the imprisonment in 1896 of Oscar Wilde, playwright and poseur. &lt;br&gt; Reasons for the emergence of a distinctly gay subculture within 1890s' Decadence movement include the promotion of 'Greek' or Platonic relationships by some university dons; the extended bachelorhood that resulted from prescriptions of financial prudence and sexual continence; and a counter-cultural defiance of orthodox moral teaching, which gave added allure to the forbidden and deviant. The supremely Decadent drawings of Aubrey Beardsley (1872-98) vividly evoke the atmosphere of this moment. &lt;br&gt; At the very end of the century, questions of sexual identity were also subject to speculative and would-be scientific investigation, dubbed sexology (1902). Writers such as Havelock Ellis (1859-1939) attempted a detailed classification of 'normal' and 'perverse' sexual practices. This led to the identification of a 'third' or 'intermediate' sex, for which Ellis used the term 'sexual inversion'. Writer and social reformer Edward Carpenter (1844-1929), who lived with a younger male partner, adapted the word 'Uranian' (1899) to denote male and female homosexuality, and around the same time, Lesbian and Sapphic came into use as terms for female relationships. Apocryphally, these were also due to be criminalised in the 1885 legislation, until Queen Victoria declared them impossible, whereupon the clause was omitted - a joke that serves to underline a common, and commonly welcomed, ignorance, at a time when lurid, fictionalised lesbianism was often figured as an especially repulsive/seductive French vice.
** Jan Marsh, [http://www.vam.ac.uk/content/articles/s/sex-and-sexuality-19th-century/ “Sex &amp; Sexuality in the 19th Century”], “Victoria and Albert Museum”, (2016)

* Men usually remain unmarried for three reasons: either because they cannot afford to marry or there are no girls to marry (neither of these factors need have deterred Jesus); or because it is inexpedient for them to marry in the light of their vocation (we have already ruled this out during the ‘hidden years’ of Jesus' life); or because they are homosexual in nature, in as much as women hold no special attraction for them. The homosexual explanation is one which me must not ignore. ...  All the synoptic gospels show Jesus in close relationship with the ‘outsiders’ and the unloved. Publicans and sinners, prostitutes and criminals are among his acquaintances and companions. If Jesus were homosexual in nature (and this is the true explanation of his celibate state) then this would be further evidence of God's self-identification with those who are unacceptable to the upholders of ‘The Establishment’ and social conventions.
** [[Hugh Montefiore]] ([[w:Bishop of Kingston|Bishop of Kingston]] from 1970 to 1978 and [[w:Bishop of Birmingham|Bishop of Birmingham]] from 1977 to 1987),  “Jesus, the Revelation of God,” in ''Christ for Us Today: Papers read at the Conference of Modern Churchmen, Somerville College, Oxford, July 1967'', edited by Norman Pittenger (SCM Press, London: 1968), pp. 109-110.

==N==
* There is probably no more powerful source of stigma for an adolescent boy than being labeled gay. The risk to a boy's reputation is immeasurable, and his place on the social ladder is utterly compromised if even a smidgeon of it sticks.
** Katherine S. Newman, ''Rampage: The Social Roots of School Shootings'' (2004), p. 145

* The power of this epithet has grown so much that it now covers a much wider range of behavior than the purely sexual reference that it connoted in the past. The term &quot;gay&quot; is now used as a slang term for any form of social or athletic incompetence. Students routinely say to one another &quot;that's gay&quot; when they are talking about a wide array of mistakes or social failures. If someone fails to make the right move on a soccer field or drops a lunch tray in the cafeteria, the kid behind him is quite likely to say, &quot;That's really gay.&quot; Why? one fifteen-year-old girl provided an explanation: &quot;Boys have a fascination with not being gay. They want to be manly, and put each other down by saying 'that's gay.'&quot; Thus for boys, the struggle for status is in large part competition for the rank of alpha male, and any loss one boy can inflict on another opens up a new rung on the ladder that he might move into.
** Katherine S. Newman, ''Rampage: The Social Roots of School Shootings'' (2004), p. 145-146

* I grew up in Sydney, Australia. There was this boy at my school. I liked him and wanted to try sex but he was like, &quot;No. You're just going to make me say &quot;yes&quot; and then you're going to make fun of me at school,&quot; because I was a jock and he was the gay boy at school who everyone picked on. We both liked music. That was our connection. So we used to go on friend dates to see like Cheap Trick, or The Knack or whatever. Then I'd drag him to punk clubs to see The Ramones. He used to cry because that the punk shows were so loud. He was more of a disco boy. One night we went and saw the movie ''Flash Gordon''. Kind of a homoerotic movie. I thought it was horrible but I could see it was working on him. In the movie, Flash Gordon was a quarterback on an American football team and I played rugby which, I guess, got him excited. I can credit that movie and the music of Queen with getting me laid at 14. Rather young but I was pushy and he was cute, so it had to happen. We went back to his place and had sex in the shower. We dated for a long time after that.
** Niles, as quoted in ''How to Lose Your Virginity (and how not to): Shocking, Humorous, Dangerous, Sweet &amp; Scandelous Stories of the First Time'' by Shawn Wickens

* Many young people have left our churches and wandered off into the &quot;gay&quot; lifestyle. They abandon their faith or somehow justify their choices by claiming they were born that way. Why would a loving God create them in a way that is contrary to the Scriptures? They are left struggling through the rest of their life, often falling deeper and deeper into a godless lifestyle and further and further away from their faith. Unfortunately, the Christian world has taken two opposite extremes, both of which leave the &quot;gay&quot; individual without any honest answers. Some have decided that homosexuality is not a sin. They expect Christians that believe it is a sin to accept these individuals' lifestyle rather than help them escape from their behavior. The other extreme is to deem them hopelessly condemned and to release them into the world with no way back.
** David J. Nixon, ''Born That Way After All'' (2016). David J. Nixon with R.G. Hamm, p. 1

* It was nearing midnight. We had been talking, praying, and reading the Scriptures for nearly two hours. I carefully shared the idea with Sam that maybe he had indeed been born that way, not as a &quot;homosexual,&quot; but as a &quot;eunuch.&quot; I explained what eunuchs were, and I assured Sam that they were made uniquely by God for a special purpose. I told him that in my study of the subject, I had come to believe that many young men, who thought they must be homosexuals, were actually eunuchs. I will never forget what happened that night. Sam began to weep. I could see something different in his eyes. He read Matthew 19:12 over and over again, and then he began to shiver. He looked up at me and then turned to his mother and, through his tears, Sam said, &quot;Mom, ''I'm not gay.''&quot; His mom and grandmother began to weep. All of us were crying. He said, &quot;''I'm a eunuch. I guess God did make me special.''&quot; What an amazing moment it was for all of us. &lt;br&gt;The joy was soon turned to conviction because Sam asked me a question that would redefine my ministry. With reddened eyes and a trembling voice, Sam asked, &quot;Preacher, why didn't someone show this to me when I was younger? This could have saved me so much regret.&quot; At that moment, I knew a ministry had been born by the work of the Holy Spirit. It is amazing to think that someone like me who had so often treated &quot;gays&quot; as outcast and perverts would now commit myself to helping them understand they were indeed ''not'' born gay, but that maybe they were created &quot;different' and special- as natural eunuchs. I will never forget the joy of that first experience, when I saw Sam come to the realization that he was ''born that way after all''.
** David J. Nixon, ''Born That Way After All'' (2016). David J. Nixon with R.G. Hamm, p. 12

* Hopefully, all Christians are concerned about the treatment of marriage in making same sex unions legal in this country. However, long before society devalued this institution, the churches did so in the way we sold it to our kids. By worshiping marriage, we devalued it. Worshiping anything ''not'' meant to be worshiped is the same as devaluing it. We took away the sacredness of marriage by pushing the idea that it is some kind of sensual, romantic byproduct that is somehow necessary for everyone.
** David J. Nixon, ''Born That Way After All'' (2016). David J. Nixon with R.G. Hamm, p. 123

* No one can make a choice for us as to how we react with the truth we learn. Once it is learned, we are left with the fact that we can never again make excuses. Let's confirm the truth that you are able to be pure before God, no matter how far into sin you have gone. If you were deep into the &quot;homosexual&quot; or &quot;lesbian&quot; lifestyle, you have absolute liberty to return to Christ and be cleansed. You do not have to live in guilt or shame, because you can be completely forgiven. However, that liberty comes from a single and extremely misunderstood word- repentance. You must repent. Now that does not mean that you must do penance of some kind or crawl on your hands and knees back to God. Repentance is a change of mind.
** David J. Nixon, ''Born That Way After All'' (2016). David J. Nixon with R.G. Hamm, p. 193

==P==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_Youth_in_white_trousers.jpg|thumb|right|''Youth in white trousers'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
* Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,  And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things. Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
** [[Paul of Tarsus]], [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%201&amp;version=KJV Romans 1:20-27] (KJV).

* Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, ... will inherit the kingdom of God.
** [[Paul of Tarsus]], [http://biblia.com/bible/esv/1%20Corinthians%206.9-10 1 Corinthians 6:9–10] (ESV).

* Overall, Catholics are split on whether homosexual behavior is a sin. More than four-in-ten (44%, including 59% of weekly Mass attenders) say it is, but nearly as many (39%) say it is not. 
**  [http://www.pewforum.org/2015/09/02/u-s-catholics-open-to-non-traditional-families/ &quot;U.S. Catholics Open to Non-Traditional Families&quot;]. ''Pew Research Center''. 2015. 

*...he would prefer to die many deaths: while as for leaving the one he loves in a lurch, or not succoring him in peril, no man is such a craven that the influence of Love cannot inspire him with a courage that makes him equal to the bravest born.
** Phaedrus in [[Plato]], ''Symposium'' 178e–179a.

* [[Homer]]'s Nestor was not well skilled in ordering an army when he advised the Greeks to rank tribe and tribe ... he should have joined lovers and their beloved. For men of the same tribe little value one another when dangers press; but a band cemented by friendship grounded upon love is never to be broken.
** [[Plutarch]], ''Pelopidas'' 18.2; discussed by K.J. Dover, ''Greek Homosexuality'' (Harvard University Press, 1978, 1989), p. 192, and Louis Crompton, Homosexuality and Civilization (Harvard University Press, 2003), p. 74.

==Q==

==R==

==S==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1928_-_Figure_study_for_%22Aquamarine%22.jpg|thumb|right|''Figure study for Aquamarine'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
* In English-speaking countries, the connection between heresy and homosexuality is expressed through the use of a single word to denote both concepts: ''buggery''. ... ''Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary'' (Third Edition) defines “buggery” as “heresy, sodomy.”	
** [[Thomas Szasz]],  ''The Manufacture of Madness: A Comparative Study of the Inquisition and the Mental Health Movement'' (1997), p. 165

* The Court has mistaken a Kulturkampf for a fit of spite. The constitutional amendment before us here is not the manifestation of a &quot;'bare ... desire to harm' &quot; homosexuals, ''ante'', at 634, but is rather a modest attempt by seemingly tolerant Coloradans to preserve traditional sexual mores against the efforts of a politically powerful minority to revise those mores through use of the laws. That objective, and the means chosen to achieve it, are not only unimpeachable under any constitutional doctrine hitherto pronounced (hence the opinion's heavy reliance upon principles of righteousness rather than judicial holdings); they have been specifically approved by the Congress of the United States and by this Court. &lt;br&gt;In holding that homosexuality cannot be singled out for disfavorable treatment, the Court contradicts a decision, unchallenged here, pronounced only 10 years ago, see ''Bowers v. Hardwick'', 478 U. S. 186 (1986), and places the prestige of this institution behind the proposition that opposition to homosexuality is as reprehensible as racial or religious bias. Whether it is or not is ''precisely'' the cultural debate that gave rise to the Colorado constitutional amendment (and to the preferential laws against which the amendment was directed.) Since the Constitution of the United States says nothing about this subject, it is left to be resolved by normal democratic means, including the democratic adoption of provisions in state constitutions. This Court has no business imposing upon all Americans the resolution favored by the elite class from which the Members of this institution are selected, pronouncing that &quot;animosity&quot; toward homosexuality, ''ante'', at 634, is evil. I vigorously dissent.
** [[Antonin Scalia]], author of the dissenting opinion in ''[[w:Romer v. Evans|Romer v. Evans]]'' (decided 20 May, 1996), 517 U.S. 620, 636, joined by Chief Justice William Rehnquist and Associate Justice Clarence Thomas

* If it is constitutionally permissible for a State to make homosexual conduct criminal, surely it is constitutionally permissible for a State to enact other laws merely ''disfavoring'' homosexual conduct... And ''a fortiori'' it is constitutionally permissible for a State to adopt a provision ''not even disfavoring'' homosexual conduct, but merely prohibiting all levels of state government from bestowing ''special protections'' upon homosexual conduct.
** [[Antonin Scalia]], author of the dissenting opinion in ''[[w:Romer v. Evans|Romer v. Evans]]'' (decided 20 May, 1996), 517 U.S. 620, 641, joined by Chief Justice William Rehnquist and Associate Justice Clarence Thomas

==T==

==U==

==V==

== W ==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1921_-_Boys_bathing_on_rocks.jpg|thumb|right|''Boys bathing on rocks'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
* Biological [[determinism]] works as a phenomenon that normalizes same-sex desire while leaving heterosexism in place and disenfranchising certain queer people from fully participating in an accurate articulation of their experiences in political and popular discourse.
** Shannon Weber, ''What's Wrong With Becoming Queer Biological Determinism as Discursive Queer Hegemony'', as quoted in ''Ages of the X-Men: Essays on the Children of the Atom in Changing Times'', &quot;Mutating Metaphors: Addressing the Limits of Biological Narratives of Sexuality&quot; by Christian Norman, p.170

==X==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1928-29_-_Aquamarine.jpg|thumb|right|''Aquamarine'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
*They sleep with their loved ones, yet stations them next to themselves in battle&amp;nbsp;... with them ([[w:Eleians|Eleians]], [[w:Thebans|Thebans]]) it's a custom, with us a disgrace&amp;nbsp;... placing your loved one next to you seems to be a sign of distrust&amp;nbsp;... The [[w:Sparta|Sparta]]ns&amp;nbsp;... make our loved ones such models of perfection that even if stationed with foreigners rather than with their lovers they are ashamed to desert their companion.
** [[Xenophon]], ''[[w:Symposium (Xenophon)|Symposium]]'' 8.34–5

==Y==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1917_-_Under_the_western_sun.jpg|thumb|right|''Under the western sun'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
* Citizens with this kind of homosexual inclination, who renounce women and can do without them willingly because they love one another, get married together, bound by a deep and trusting friendship.
** Yashodhara, ''Jayamangala'' (twelfth-century commentary on the [[Kama Sutra]]), in ''Tritiya-Prakriti: People of the Third Sex'' (2010), p. 22

==Z==

=== Sexual Behavior in the Human Male  (1948) ===
&lt;small&gt; Alfred C. Kinsey, Wardell R. Pomeroy, and Clyde E. Martin;  “Sexual Behavior in the Human Male”, Philadelphia Pa: W.B. Saunders: 1948: 610-666; asquoted in [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1447861/ Am J Public Health. 2003 June; 93(6): 894–898] &lt;/small&gt;
* [A] CONSIDERABLE PORTION OF THE population, perhaps the major portion of the male population, has at least some homosexual experience between adolescence and old age. In addition, about 60 per cent of the pre-adolescent boys engage in homosexual activities, and there is an additional group of adult males who avoid overt contacts but who are quite aware of their potentialities for reacting to other males. &lt;br&gt; The social significance of the homosexual is considerably emphasized by the fact that both Jewish and Christian churches have considered this aspect of human sexuality to be abnormal and immoral. Social custom and our AngloAmerican law are sometimes very severe in penalizing one who is discovered to have had homosexual relations. . . . &lt;br&gt; It is, therefore, peculiarly difficult to secure factual data concerning the nature and the extent of the homosexual in Western European or American cultures, and even more difficult to find strictly objective presentations of such data as are available. . . . &lt;br&gt; Until the extent of any type of human behavior is adequately known, it is difficult to assess its significance, either to the individuals who are involved or to society as a whole; and until the extent of the homosexual is known, it is practically impossible to understand its biologic or social origins. It is one thing if we are dealing with a type of activity that is unusual, without precedent among other animals, and restricted to peculiar types of individuals within the human population. It is another thing if the phenomenon proves to be a fundamental part, not only of human sexuality, but of mammalian patterns as a whole.
* For nearly a century the term homosexual in connection with human behavior has been applied to sexual relations, either overt or psychic, between individuals of the same sex. Derived from the Greek root homo rather than from the Latin word for man, the term emphasizes the sameness of the two individuals who are involved in a sexual relation. The word is, of course, patterned after and intended to represent the antithesis of the word heterosexual, which applies to a relation between individuals of different sexes. . . . &lt;br&gt; It is amazing to observe how many psychologists and psychiatrists have . . . come to believe that homosexual males and females are discretely different from persons who merely have homosexual experience, or who react sometimes to homosexual stimuli. Sometimes such an interpretation allows for only two kinds of males and two kinds of females, namely those who are heterosexual and those who are homosexual. But as subsequent data . . . will show, there is only about half of the male population whose sexual behavior is exclusively heterosexual, and there are a few percent who are exclusively homosexual. Any restriction of the term homosexuality to individuals who are exclusively so demands, logically, that the term heterosexual be applied only to those individuals who are exclusively heterosexual; and this makes no allowance for the nearly half of the population which has had sexual contacts with, or reacted psychically to, individuals of their own as well as of the opposite sex. Actually, of course, one must learn to recognize every combination of heterosexuality and homosexuality in the histories of various individuals. &lt;br&gt; It would encourage clearer thinking on these matters if persons were not characterized as heterosexual or homosexual, but as individuals who have had certain amounts of heterosexual experience and certain amounts of homosexual experience. Instead of using these terms as substantives which stand for persons, or even as adjectives to describe persons, they may better be used to describe the nature of the overt sexual relations, or of the stimuli to which an individual erotically responds.
* The statistics given throughout this volume on the incidence of homosexual activity, and the statistics to be given in the present section of this chapter, are based on those persons who have had physical contacts with other males, and who were brought to orgasm as a result of such contacts. By any strict definition such contacts are homosexual, irrespective of the extent of the psychic stimulation involved, of the techniques employed, or of the relative importance of the homosexual and the heterosexual in the history of such an individual. These are not data on the number of persons who are “homosexual,” but on the number of persons who have had at least some homosexual experience. . . . &lt;br&gt; In these terms (of physical contact to the point of orgasm), the data in the present study indicate that at least 37 percent of the male population has some homosexual experience between the beginning of adolescence and old age. This is more than one male in three of the persons that one may meet as he passes along a city street. Among the males who remain unmarried until the age of 35, almost exactly 50 per cent have homosexual experience between the beginning of adolescence and that age. . . . These figures are, of course, considerably higher than any which have previously been estimated. . . . &lt;br&gt; We ourselves were totally unprepared to find such incidence data when this research was originally undertaken. Over a period of several years we were repeatedly assailed with doubts as to whether we were getting a fair cross section of the total population or whether a selection of cases was biasing the results. It has been our experience, however, that each new group into which we have gone has provided substantially the same data. Whether the histories were taken in one large city or another, whether they were taken in large cities, in small towns, or in rural areas, whether they came from one college or from another, a church school or a state university or some private institution, whether they came from one part of the country or from another, the incidence data on the homosexual have been more or less the same. . . .
* Concerning patterns of sexual behavior, a great deal of the thinking done by scientists and laymen alike stems from the assumption that there are persons who are “heterosexual” and persons who are “homosexual,” that these two types represent antitheses in the sexual world, and that there is only an insignificant class of “bisexuals” who occupy an intermediate position between the other groups. It is implied that every individual is innately—inherently—either heterosexual or homosexual. It is further implied that from the time of birth one is fated to be one thing or the other, and that there is little chance for one to change his pattern in the course of a lifetime. &lt;br&gt; It is quite generally believed that one’s preference for a sexual partner of one or the other sex is correlated with various physical and mental qualities, and with the total personality which makes a homosexual male or female physically, psychically, and perhaps spiritually distinct from a heterosexual individual. It is generally thought that these qualities make a homosexual person obvious and recognizable to any one who has a sufficient understanding of such matters. Even psychiatrists discuss “the homosexual personality” and many of them believe that preferences for sexual partners of a particular sex are merely secondary manifestations of something that lies much deeper in the totality of that intangible which they call the personality. . . .
* The histories which have been available in the present study make it apparent that the heterosexuality or homosexuality of many individuals is not an all-or-none proposition. It is true that there are persons in the population whose histories are exclusively heterosexual, both in regard to their overt experience and in regard to their psychic reactions. And there are individuals in the population whose histories are exclusively homosexual, both in experience and in psychic reactions. But the record also shows that there is a considerable portion of the population whose members have combined, within their individual histories, both homosexual and heterosexual experience and/or psychic responses. There are some whose heterosexual experiences predominate, there are some whose homosexual experiences predominate, there are some who have had quite equal amounts of both types of experience. . . .&lt;br&gt; Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats. Not all things are black nor all things white. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories. Only the human mind invents categories and tries to force facts into separated pigeon-holes. The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects. The sooner we learn this concerning human sexual behavior the sooner we shall reach a sound understanding of the realities of sex. . . .
* In view of the data which we now have on the incidence and frequency of the homosexual, and in particular on its co-existence with the heterosexual in the lives of a considerable portion of the male population, it is difficult to maintain the view that psychosexual reactions between individuals of the same sex are rare and therefore abnormal or unnatural, or that they constitute within themselves evidence of neuroses or even psychoses. . . . &lt;br&gt; The very general occurrence of the homosexual in ancient Greece, and its wide occurrence today in some cultures in which such activity is not as taboo as it is in our own, suggests that the capacity of an individual to respond erotically to any sort of stimulus, whether it is provided by another person of the same or of the opposite sex, is basic in the species. That patterns of heterosexuality and patterns of homosexuality represent learned behavior which depends, to a considerable degree, upon the mores of the particular culture in which the individual is raised, is a possibility that must be thoroughly considered before there can be any acceptance of the idea that homosexuality is inherited, and that the pattern for each individual is so innately fixed that no modification of it may be expected within his lifetime. . . .
* Social reactions to the homosexual have obviously been based on the general belief that a deviant individual is unique and as such needs special consideration. When it is recognized that the particular boy who is discovered in homosexual relations in school, the business man who is having such activity, and the institutional inmate with a homosexual record, are involved in behavior that is not fundamentally different from that had by a fourth to a third of all of the rest of the population, the activity of the single individual acquires a somewhat different social significance. . . . &lt;br&gt; The difficulty of the situation becomes still more apparent when it is realized that these generalizations concerning the incidence and frequency of homosexual activity apply in varying degrees to every social level, to persons in every occupation, and of every age in the community. The police force and court officials who attempt to enforce the sex laws, the clergymen and business men and every other group in the city which periodically calls for enforcement of the laws—particularly the laws against sexual “perversion”—have given a record of incidences and frequencies in the homosexual which are as high as those of the rest of the social level to which they belong. It is not a matter of the individual hypocrisy which leads officials with homosexual histories to become prosecutors of the homosexual activity in the community. They themselves are the victims of the mores, and the public demand that they protect those mores. As long as there are such gaps between the traditional custom and the actual behavior of the population, such inconsistencies will continue to exist. . . .
* The homosexual has been a significant part of human sexual activity ever since the dawn of history, primarily because it is an expression of capacities that are basic in the human animal.

=== &quot;The Construction of Homosexuality&quot; (December 9, 1988) ===
&lt;small&gt; [https://books.google.com/books?isbn=022621981X &quot;The Construction of Homosexuality&quot;], David F. Greenberg, ''University of Chicago Press'', (December 9, 1988) &lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Jupiter and Kallisto by Francois Boucher.jpg|thumb|right|''Jupiter and Kallisto'' by Francois Boucher]]
[[File:Henry_Scott_Tuke_-_A_Holiday,_1921.jpg|thumb|right|''A Holiday'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
[[File:Jupiter, in the Guise of Diana, and Callisto by François Boucher.jpg|thumb|right|]]
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1911_-_Bathing_group_(Noonday_heat).jpg|thumb|right|''Bathing group (Noonday heat)'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
[[File:Les Deux Amies by Lagrenee.jpg|thumb|right|''Les Deux Amies'' by Lagrenee]]
* Male homosexual prostitution having religious significance was an institutionalized feature of the archaic civilizations of the [[Mediterranean]]. Most authorities think it was practiced in the [[w:Temple of Solomon|Temple of Solomon]] in [[Jerusalem]], as well as in the worship of neighboring peoples. Yet a few scholars have expressed skepticism.
** p.94.

* One would hardly expect to see instituionalized male transgenerational homosexuality of the [[w:Melanesia|Melanesian]] variety (described in chapter 2) in the archaic civilizations. The conditions that seem to give rise to it in Melanesia do not exist in the early civilizations. With the pacification of an extended territory, wives are no longer taken from enemy villages, and marriage is not arranged through sister exchange between cross-cousins. &lt;br&gt; Yet ritualized, transgenerational male homosexuality was a part of early [[Greek]] culture. Dominated from the time of the [[Dorian invasion|Dorian invasion]] (c. 1200 B.C.) by powerful, culturally conservative noble families, the eastern part of [[Crete]] kept up ancient customs well into historical times. One of these customs was an initiation rite for aristocratic youths that bears remarkable resemblance to tribal rituals. Boys were taken from their mothers by kouretes (armed male dancers). Under the auspices of the pre-Olympian Mother Goddess cult of Rhea and Zeus, the boys were cleansed of maternal contamination and reborn as men. A men's house figured in the ceremonies, and bull roarers (devices widely used in tribal rituals to simulate the sound of bulls or thunder) were used to terrify the initiates.
** pp.106-107

* [[Sparta]], too, institutionalized relations between mature men and adolescent boys, as well as between adult women and girls, and gave them a pedagogical focus. The few accounts we have, all written by foreigners, do not claim that the relationships were a part of initiation rites, but the Spartans were secretive about their institutions, and strangers would not necessarily have learned the details. However, many aspects of Spartan homosexuality and marriage customs point to tribal origins. Participation was mandatory for all youths of good character. There were ordeals - a common feature of tribal initiation. At their conclusion, all boys in the same-age grade had to marry - as in many tribes. Even after marriage, men lived in men's houses, not with their wives. Wives and male lovers were shared with age-mates. Like Crete, from whom the Greeks believed Spartan institutions were borrowed, Sparta preserved ancient customs that had disappeared in other city-states.
** p.107

* Aristocratic warrior societies do seem have had extensive male homosexuality, which was completely accepted. Archeological evidence shows that c. 500 B.C., when they were founding the La Tene culture in [[France]] and the northern part of [[Switzerland]], large numbers of [[Celts]] were armed for military raids of looting. Their political organization took the form of decentralized chiefdoms, with patron-client relationships linking aristocrats and commoners. According to Artistotle, the Celts esteemed homosexuality. Writing in the first century B.C., Diodorus Siculus found Celtic women charming, and every indicator of their social status suggests that it was quite high. Nevertheless, he added,&lt;blockquote&gt;The men are much keener on their own sex; they lie around on animal skins and enjoy themselves, with a lover one each side. The extraordinary thing is they haven’t the smallest regard for their personal dignity or self-respect; they offer themselves to other men without the least compunction. Furthermore, this isn’t looked down on, or regarded as in any way disgraceful: on the contrary, if one of them is rejected by another to whom he has offered himself, he takes offence.&lt;/blockquote&gt; Evidence that the Celtic love of warriors may have extended to the British Isles (which the Celts invaded c. 200 B.C.) can be found in the Irish saga ''Tain Bo Caulinge''. The hero Cuchulain explains that he does not want to fight his foster brother and former comrade in arms Ferdia: 
** p.111

* Class-structured homosexuality appears with the dawn of economic stratification. Here the two partners are drawn from different economic strata or classes, the wealthier partner purchasing or commanding the sexual services of the poorer. The partners may differ in age, gender, or preference for particular types of contact, but these differences do not define the relationship. What does is the preference of the wealthier partner. Thus Captain Blight, visiting Tahiti in the late eighteenth century, observed a chief sucking the penis of his attendant. By the usual conventions linking rank and sex role, this transaction should not have occurred. The attendant should have been sucking the chief. However, the chief occupied a social position that enabled him to gratify his personal preference irrespective of conventions about homosexual roles. In societies were social relations are commercialized wealth bestows sexual power. &lt;br&gt; Two forms of homosexuality are particularly common in antiquity: prostitution and intercourse with slaves.
** p.117

* One of the Spanish sources, Bartolome de las Casas, writing in 1542, reported that [[Mayan]] parents supplied their adolescent sons with boys to use as sexual outlets before marriage, but that if someone else sodomized them, the penalty was equal to that for rape. Since de las Casas denied the existence of homosexuality in some other Indian groups, his attribution of homosexuality to the Mayans cannot be attributed to a blanket prejudice against Indians. Other missionaries also reported widespread male homosexuality among the Mayans. Young Mayan men lived in men's houses until they married at about age twenty.

* Father Pierre de Gand, also known as de Mura, found sodomy to be virtually universal among the [[Aztecs]], involving even children as young as six. Cortez also found sodomy to be widespread among the Aztec's, and admonished them to give it up-along with human sacrifices and cannibalism.
** p.164

* Some of the people who made up the [[Inca]] empire also had institutionalized homosexuality. This includes the Yauyos, who had &quot;public houses filled with men who dressed as women and painted their faces,&quot; the Liysacas of Lake Chucuito, and Indians in the vicinity of Puerto Viejo in the north (now Ecuador) and on the island of Puna. In some parts of the empire, boys were dedicated to the temple, where they were raised as girls; chiefs and headmen had ritual intercourse with them on special holidays. The Inca princes themselves, however, did not engage in these practices.
** p. 165

* That the harshness of Inca and Aztec legislation toward homosexuality involved more than a reaction to indigenous berdaches is suggested by the equally severe penalties imposed on other violations of morals legislation. The Incas punished pimps and prostitutes severely, by death if the offense was repeated. Incest and adultery were capital offenses in both empires. Drunkeness was illegal under the Incas and a capital offense under the Aztecs. Abortion was also a capital offense under the Aztecs. Aztec youths lost their rights to land if they did not marry by a certain age. Inca men were also forced to marry.
** p.167

* Ever since the sixteenth century, Western visitors have commented on the pervasiveness of [[Turkish]] pederasty. Large numbers of boys were captured or purchased for personal use, placed in brothels, or resold; the demand for them struck all observers as remarkable.
** p.179

* Burton found the cities of [[Afghan]] to be &quot;saturated with the Persian vice&quot; at the end of the ninteenth century. Afghan merchants were invariably, &quot;accompanied by a number of boys and lads almost in woman's attire with kohl'd eyes and rouged cheeks, log tresses and henna's fingers and toes, riding luxuriously in Kajawas or camelpanniers. They are called Kuch-i safari or traveling wives, and the husbands tridge patiently by their sides. &lt;br&gt; Male homosexuality remains common in Afghanistan, as does harem lesbianism.
** p.180

* The Moslem rulers of [[India]] often maintained youthful male lovers, and male brothels flourished. Burton visited a number of them in 1845. &lt;br&gt; At first glance, the early Mongols appear to have been an exception to the broad pattern. The ''Great Yassa'', a law code issued by Ghenghiz Khan or at his death for the still-pagan Mongol tribes around 1219, to supplement Mongolian customary law, mandated the death penalty for both sodomites and adulterers. This is not what one would expect in a tribe of nomadic pastoralists with a shamanistic religion. It seems likely that this severe penalty reflects the influence of Christians, Jews, or Moslems, to whom Ghengiz extended hospitality. Ghenghiz was himself illiterate, and might well have called on a literate foreigner to prepare a code of laws.  
** p.181

* [[Zoroastrianism]], founded in [[Iran]] at an unknown date by the prophet Zoroaster (Zarathura) who reformed the old Aryan religion on, took a far harsher view of homosexuality. The subject is not mentioned in the Gathas (the earliest known Zoroastrian scriptures), which are  attributed directly to Zoroaster. However, the later ''Vendidad'', or ''Code Against the Devas'', which contains much of the Zoroastrian moral teaching, places sodomites among the ranks of those who may be killed on the spot, along with brigands, burners of carrion in a fire, and criminals taken in the act. Later texts, from the ninth century A.D., continue to regard homosexuality as heinous.
** p.186

* Perhaps more to the point, the severe penances for homosexual offenses are matched in a number of the [[w:Penetentials|penitentials]] by equally severe penances for heterosexual sins. Thus the Irish ''Penitential of Cummean'' calls for seven years' penance for men guilty of habitual homosexual practices (less for a first offense) and seven years' penance for heterosexual adultery. The book of ecclesiastical discipline issued by Region of Prum specifies a penalty of three years for anal intercourse whether the anus is that of a male or a female and also three years for heterosexual fornication. Similarly, the ''Book of David'' (c. 500-525) states that those who have committed fornication with a woman who hass been vowed to Christ or a husband, or with a beast or a male &quot;for the remainder of their lived dead to the world shall live unto God&quot; - presumably in perpetual encloisterment. The ''Penitential of Theodore'' requires three years' penance if a woman practices vice with another woman - or with herself and also demands equal maximum penalties of fifteen years in cases of heterosexual or homosexual fornication.
** p.264-265

* Beginning in the mid-thirteenth century, French secular legislation adopted stiff new measures against homosexual relations. ''Li livres de jostice et de Plet'', probably written around 1260 in Orleans, called for the amputation of the testicles of first-time offenders, the removal of the penis for a second offense, and burning of third-time offenders. Women were to be mutilated for the first two offenses and burned for a third. 
* In addition to this body of national legislation, starting in the mid-twelfth century, the self governing towns of northern Italy, northern France, Flanders, and the Rhine Valley began to enact municipal statutes dealing with sodomy. Many of the laws, such as that adopted in Perugia in 1342, provided fines for first and second offenses and execution by burning for third-timers. Amputation of hands or feet, exile and confiscation of goods were common provisions. &lt;br&gt; With time, penalties began to escalate. In a law of 1250, the first statute known to deal with homosexuality, Bologna permitted men banished from the city because of a sodomy conviction to pay a fine and return, but in 1259, banishment was made permanent. Later that year, sodomy was made a capital offense.
** p.272

== See also ==
{{col-begin}}
{{col-2}}
* [[Bisexuality]]
* [[Gay men]]
* [[Gender]]
* [[Heterosexuality]]
* [[Lesbian]]
{{col-2}}
* [[LGBT]]
* [[LGBT in Islam]]
* [[LGBT rights]]
* [[Queer]]
* [[Sexuality]]
{{col-end}}

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Wiktionary|homosexuality}}

[[Category:LGBT]]</text>
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      <text bytes="101183" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Homosexuality|Homosexuality]]''' is romantic attraction, sexual attraction or sexual behavior between members of the same gender.

[[File:Gay Pride Flag.svg|thumb|Gay rights are human rights. ~ [[Hillary Clinton]]]]
[[File:Henry_Scott_Tuke_-_A_woodland_bather.jpg|thumb|right|&quot;Unasked by night; I am true Love, I fill &lt;br&gt;The hearts of boy and girl with mutual flame.&quot; &lt;br&gt;Then sighing said the other, &quot;Have thy will, &lt;br&gt;I am the Love that dare not speak its name.&quot; ~ [[w:Lord Alfred Douglas|Lord Alfred Douglas]]]]
[[File:Henry_Scott_Tuke_-_Lovers_of_the_Sun.jpg|thumb|right|If it be sin to love a lovely lad &lt;br&gt;Oh there sin I. ~ [[Richard Barnfield]]]]
[[File:Boucher Diane sortant du bain Louvre 2712.jpg|thumb|right|''Diane sortant du bain'' by [[w:Francois Bouche|Francois Bouche]]]]
[[File:Gay marriage protester outside the Minnesota Senate chamber.jpg|thumb|Some people are uncomfortable with gays, but your discomfort with my sexuality should not translate into me having less [[rights]] as an [[American]]. ~ [[Daayiee Abdullah]]]]
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929),_%22The_Bathers%22.jpg|thumb|right|Homosexuality is assuredly no advantage, but it is nothing to be ashamed of, no vice, no degradation, it cannot be classified as an illness. ~ [[Sigmund Freud]]]]
[[File:Крамской И.Н. Молитва Моисея после перехода израильтян через Черное море 1861.jpg|thumb|You shall not [[w:Homosexuality in the Hebrew Bible#Leviticus 18 and 20|lie with a male as with a woman]]; it is an [[w:Abomination (Bible)#Tōʻēḇā|abomination]]. ~ [[Moses]]]]
[[File:Wilhelm von Gloeden Nude boy.jpg|thumb|Wilhelm von Gloeden Nude boy]]
[[File:Gloeden, Wilhelm von (1856-1931) - n. 0241 - da - Amore e arte, p. 80.jpg|thumb|Gloeden, Wilhelm von (1856-1931) - n. 0241 - da - Amore e arte, p. 80]]
[[Image:Édouard-Henri Avril (19).jpg|thumb|[[Socrates]] and Alkibiades (Édouard-Henri Avril, 1860)]]
[[File:JackXArik.png|thumb|Artist illustration of &quot;Yaoi&quot;, depicting a homoerotic relationship between male characters]]
[[File:Gustave Courbet - Le Sommeil (1866), Paris, Petit Palais.jpg|thumb|[[Gustave Courbet]], 1866]]

__NOTOC__
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{{cleanup}}

== A==
* Nowhere in the [[Quran]] does it say punish [[w:LGBT in Islam|homosexuals]]. And historians have also never found any case of the [[Prophet]] [[Muhammad]] dealing with homosexuality.
** [[Daayiee Abdullah]], as quoted in ''[http://www.moroccoworldnews.com/2015/05/159043/first-gay-imam-in-usa-says-quran-doesnt-call-for-punishment-of-homosexuals/ First Gay ‘Imam’ in USA Says ‘Quran Doesn’t Call for Punishment of Homosexuals’]'' (22 May 2015), ''{{w|Morocco World News}}''.

* When I graduated from [[high school]], I hoped that one day [[w:LGBT in the United States|gay Americans]] would be able to [[w:Same-sex marriage in the United States|get married]]. And now here I am 45 years later officiating [[same-sex marriage]]s—how can I not be optimistic that the [[future]] is bright?
** [[Daayiee Abdullah]], as quoted in ''[http://www.moroccoworldnews.com/2015/05/159043/first-gay-imam-in-usa-says-quran-doesnt-call-for-punishment-of-homosexuals/ First Gay ‘Imam’ in USA Says ‘Quran Doesn’t Call for Punishment of Homosexuals’]'' (22 May 2015), ''{{w|Morocco World News}}''.

* Some don't believe that homosexuals can be [[pious]]. But we can be just as good at our [[faith]] as anyone else. We are simply different from other folks, not less committed to our faith.
** [[Daayiee Abdullah]], as quoted in ''[http://www.moroccoworldnews.com/2015/05/159043/first-gay-imam-in-usa-says-quran-doesnt-call-for-punishment-of-homosexuals/ First Gay ‘Imam’ in USA Says ‘Quran Doesn’t Call for Punishment of Homosexuals’]'' (22 May 2015), ''{{w|Morocco World News}}''.

* '''Some people are uncomfortable with gays, but your discomfort with my sexuality should not translate into me having less [[rights]] as an [[American]].'''
** [[Daayiee Abdullah]], as quoted in ''[http://www.moroccoworldnews.com/2015/05/159043/first-gay-imam-in-usa-says-quran-doesnt-call-for-punishment-of-homosexuals/ First Gay ‘Imam’ in USA Says ‘Quran Doesn’t Call for Punishment of Homosexuals’]'' (22 May 2015), ''{{w|Morocco World News}}''.

* [[God]] tells us men fucking men is a terrible thing, but a father offering his two daughters, vestal [[Virginity|virgins]] no less, to a horde of horny buggers is [[heroic]]. Now that's straight. … God destroys the faggots with fire and brimstone. He turns a disobedient wife into salt. But he asks us to [[Idolatry|idolize]] [[Drunkenness|drunks]] [[Incest|who sleep with their daughters]] or offer them to a horny, unruly mob.
** [[Rabih Alameddine]] on the [[Bible|biblical narrative]] of Lot and his family confronting the inhabitants of [[Sodom and Gomorrah]], as quoted by Wail S. Hassan in ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=vA5pAgAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PA207 Immigrant Narratives: Orientalism and Cultural Translation in Arab American and Arab British Literature]'' (2011), Oxford University Press, {{ISBN|978-0-19-979206-1}}, page 207.

* Even though homosexuality is considered a sin in all the Semitic holy books, it does not require any punishment in this world. It is a sin that will accompany its committee in the life after death.
** [[Salman al-Ouda]] - [http://www.jpost.com/Middle-East/Saudi-cleric-Homosexuality-not-a-deviation-from-Islam-should-not-be-punished-452957 Saudi cleric: 'Homosexuality not a deviation from Islam, should not be punished'] (30 April 2016)

* Homosexuals are not deviating from Islam. Homosexuality is a grave [[w:Islamic views on sin|sin]], but those who say that homosexuals deviate from Islam are the real deviators. By condemning [[w:Death penalty for homosexuality|homosexuals to death]] they are committing a graver sin than homosexuality itself.
** [[Salman al-Ouda]] - [http://www.jpost.com/Middle-East/Saudi-cleric-Homosexuality-not-a-deviation-from-Islam-should-not-be-punished-452957 Saudi cleric: 'Homosexuality not a deviation from Islam, should not be punished'] (30 April 2016)

* Even though homosexuality does not distance oneself from Islam, the Islam does not encourage individuals who have same-sex attraction to show their feelings in public.
** [[Salman al-Ouda]] - [http://www.jpost.com/Middle-East/Saudi-cleric-Homosexuality-not-a-deviation-from-Islam-should-not-be-punished-452957 Saudi cleric: 'Homosexuality not a deviation from Islam, should not be punished'] (30 April 2016)

* Some highly religious people are outraged that atheists would publicly declare their lack of faith. Accordingly many of the people who belong to atheist associations hide their beliefs from most others, knowing from experience it could affect their employment, membership in other clubs, and social connections. It reminds me of the reaction of many high RWAs when homosexuals began to come out: “Don’t these people know they’re supposed to be ashamed of what they are?” That in turn reminded me of the reaction of many White supremists to the civil rights movement: “Don’t these n------ know they’re inferior and should never be treated as our equals?” Fortunately, eventually, minorities can overcome these reactions.
** [[Bob Altemeyer]], ''The Authoritarians'' (2006), p. 160

* ''Visible minorities''. Along this same line, high RWAs misperceive how diverse America is. It’s quite natural to think, when you are in the white, Christian, heterosexual, solvent majority that this is a ''huge'' majority. Minorities should speak out for their rights. If they don’t, they are (among other things) helping a lot of the majority remain steeped in ignorance. People can learn, but they won’t have a chance if the minorities remain invisible. I know, I know, the high RWAs will howl whatever chorus their leaders dictate when minorities become “uppity”. But recall the evidence that nothing improves authoritarians’ attitudes toward homosexuals as much as getting to know a homosexual--or learning that they’ve known one for years.
** [[Bob Altemeyer]], ''The Authoritarians'' (2006), p. 242

* On July 20, 2005, Canada legalized same-sex marriage. Homosexuals had already been getting legally married in most of the provinces for several years, so the federal law just established the right from sea to shining sea. By October 2006, about 12,500 same-sexed couples had gotten married. Getting the right acknowledged had been a struggle. Opponents attacked gay marriage primarily on two fronts: it would violate certain Biblical texts, and it would destroy the family. The first point is beyond dispute but unconvincing, I think, because everyone chooses which Biblical texts he'll follow and which he'll ignore. Numbers 15:32-36 says people who pick up sticks on the Sabbath should be executed, by stoning no less. But if you start chucking rocks at your neighbor next Sabbath as he mows his lawn, you'll probably get into a lot of trouble. &lt;br&gt;As for destroying the family, what's the evidence? And where's the outcry about divorce, a clear and present family wrecker, which Jesus most definitely condemned, which nevertheless happens quite commonly among religious opponents of same-sex marriage? Does same-sex marriage threaten the family, much less destroy it? Most of the homosexual couples in Canada who have wanted to get married have tied the knot in the past few years. And you know what? The traditional family is still sailing along (or floundering) exactly as before. &lt;br&gt;Divorce courts have not been swamped by homosexuals demanding to be set free from unhappy heterosexual unions so they can marry their true, same-sexed love. The few married homosexual couples who have adopted children have not been found to be raising a generation of &quot;gays just like Mom and Mom.&quot; Heterosexual lovers still buy virtually all of the marriage certificates at the courthouse, and heterosexual ex-lovers still fill the dockets down the hall in the divorce court. &lt;br&gt;In short, the biggest threat to traditional marriage and the mom &amp; dad family has not been posed by homosexual marriage but, overwhelmingly, by unhappy heterosexuals. So what's all the fuss about? How big a problem can this possibly be?
** [[Bob Altemeyer]], ''Sex and Youth: A Twenty-Four Year Investigation'' (2009), p. 207-208

* Increasingly, people say &quot;Who cares?&quot; Yes, gays can still run into a brick wall, even in California, when it comes to getting married. But I've been studying attitudes toward homosexuals since 1984, and my investigations show the same thing that national polls do: attitudes toward homosexuality have become markedly less negative in a short time. For example, when I began my studies most students, and their parents, agreed with the statement, &quot;I won't associate with known homosexuals if I can help it.&quot; Now, most students and parents say they don't at all mind associating with homosexuals. Brick walls can crumble.
** [[Bob Altemeyer]], ''Sex and Youth: A Twenty-Four Year Investigation'' (2009), p. 208

* I'm not saying that people shouldn't be able to get a divorce. I'm saying that there's a teensy-weensy bit of hypocrisy in a group opposing gay marriage on religious and &quot;save the family&quot; grounds when one-fifth to one-third of its members have themselves been divorced.
** [[Bob Altemeyer]], ''Sex and Youth: A Twenty-Four Year Investigation'' (2009), p. 217

* You can see the double standard regarding homosexuality very vividly in most heterosexual &quot;skin magazines,&quot; which will often have two, three, or more fetching young ladies hugging or kissing together in the altogether. But there are no similar layouts featuring (Lord help us!) guys in men's magazines. (At least that was true the last time I looked at them- strictly in the interest of science, you understand- some years ago.) Maybe men are so tolerant of lesbian activity partly because they'd like to join in, too.
** [[Bob Altemeyer]], ''Sex and Youth: A Twenty-Four Year Investigation'' (2009), p. 218

* Ye lads of grace and sprung from worthy stock &lt;br&gt; Grudge not to brave men converse with your beauty &lt;br&gt; In cities of Chalcis, Love, looser of limbs &lt;br&gt; Thrives side by side with courage.
** [[Aristotle]], ''Eroticus'' fr. 98 Rose (= Plutarch, Amatorius 760f), quoted at Cantarella p. 71 and Crompton p. 10 from the translation of F.C. Babbit, Plutarch: Moralia, vol. 9. Loeb Classical Library no. 425 (London, repr. 1961) p. 377.

== B ==
* '''If it be sin to love a lovely lad'''
:'''Oh there sin I.'''
:* [[Richard Barnfield]], &quot;The Affectionate Shepherd&quot;.

* Pre-World War II prejudices against homosexuals are hard to summarize, because scholars disagree as to when the category of &quot;homosexual&quot; even became recognizable in Europe. It seems evident that in antiquity certain forms of intimacy between people of the same sex did not carry a stigma or preclude sexual relations with members of the opposite se. By the modern era, however, much of this flexibility was gone, although the supposedly prudish society of Victorian England showed considerable tolerance for at least some kinds of same-sex intimacies. For example, many people considered sexual experimentation among boys in boarding schools to be a normal part of development; loving relationships between women who often became lifelong companions were not uncommon either. Nevertheless, by the late nineteenth century many parts of Europe had introduced laws against homosexuality. The German criminal code of 1871 explicitly forbade sexual relations between men. The state prosecuted some cases, and public interest in such &quot;scandals&quot; ran high. For example, it was an enormous sensation when prince Eulenberg, a member of the inner circle of the German Kaiser Wilhelm II (1888-1918), was charged with homosexual activities and forced from public life. Somewhat paradoxically, an increased openness around the subject of human sexuality in the decades after World War I served to make homosexual men and women more visible in Europe and to increase the panic some heterosexuals felt about them.
** Doris L. Bergen, ''War and Genocide: A Concise History of the Holocaust'' (2016), Third Edition, p. 33

* Political changes in Germany after World War I made it possible for the first time for Berlin to develop a gay scene that included clubs, restaurants, and bathhouses frequented by homosexual men. Lesbians, it seems, tended to attract less public attention, although there were also some clubs popular with homosexual women. Laws against sex between men were still on the books in Germany's first democracy, the Weimar Republic, but enforcement was slacker than it had been before World War I, especially in major cities. Many heterosexual Germans, however, disapproved of what they considered their overly permissive society. Magnus Hirschfeld (1868-1935), a sex reformer and homosexual rights leader in Berlin, made an international reputation for his research in sexology, the new field of studies of sex and sexuality. Hirschfeld regarded homosexuality as the &quot;third sex,&quot; a natural and legitimate variant between masculine and feminine. Homosexuals, he pointed out, looked and behaved normally and should be treated accordingly. For many people the work of researchers and activists such as Hirschfeld offered new possibilities for human freedom. For others it seemed to represent the decadence of a society that had abandoned its traditional values. Hitler's Nazis capitalized on such fears as well; they forced Hirschfeld out of Germany, and his research institute was one of the first casualties of the new regime.
** Doris L. Bergen, ''War and Genocide: A Concise History of the Holocaust'' (2016), Third Edition, p. 33-34

* In ''Mein Kampf'' Hitler had made it clear that he planned to &quot;deal with&quot; the Jews. He started his social revolution, however, with attacks on a group that was even less likely to receive public support: homosexual men. In the 1920s and early 1930s, Berlin and other major German cities had become centers of a small but vibrant gay culture. Even before the Nazis came to power, police had sometimes harassed men known or suspected to be homosexual; many Germans regarded homosexuality as deviant and decadent and urged their government to crack down by imposing what they considered moral and sexual order. Since 1871, Paragraph 175 of the German criminal code had outlawed sexual relations between men: &quot;A male who indulges in criminally indecent activities with another male or who allows himself to participate in such activities will be punished with jail.&quot; The prohibition did not mention sexual acts between women. Hitler built on this law in early 1933 to ban homosexual rights organizations in Germany. According to National Socialist teachings, homosexuals were an abomination because they opted out of the reproduction of the so-called Aryan master race. Moreover, according to Himmler and others, homosexual men in public positions of any kind were dangerous because they were always vulnerable to blackmail.
** Doris L. Bergen, ''War and Genocide: A Concise History of the Holocaust'' (2016), Third Edition, p. 73

* It was also politically expedient for Hitler's new government to lash out against gay culture, because opponents of Nazism charged the movement, in particular the Stormtroopers and SS, with fostering and glamorizing intimate relations between men. Communist and Socialist enemies of Nazism had been known to mock those obsessively male organizations as stomping grounds for deviants, and some conservative and Christian critics leveled the same accusations. Antagonistic Nazis focused on gay men; they seemed for the most part not to see lesbian or bisexual women as posing a particular threat, because women did not exercise public power by serving in the military or at high ranks of the bureaucracy. In any case women, some Nazi activists presumed, could always be forced to bear children for the German Volk, regardless of their own sexual orientation. Nevertheless, in individual cases lesbians were persecuted as so-called asocial elements. Leadership from above prompted initiatives by people acting out their own hostilities. In 1933, Nazi Stormtroopers and other thugs raided gay bars and clubs in German cities and forced many of them to close. A few managed to remain open longer- some intermittently until the end of World War II- but under constant threat of raids and violence. In May 1933, a group of Nazi students stormed and destroyed the Institute for Sexual Research in Berlin. Its director was the gay rights activist Magnus Hirschfeld, whom his opponents also vilified because he was Jewish. For the most part the German public was indifferent or cheered such offensives.
** Doris L. Bergen, ''War and Genocide: A Concise History of the Holocaust'' (2016), Third Edition, p. 73-74

* ''Die Freundschaft zwischen Geschlechtsgleichen bekommt einen erotischen Ton, der ins Bewusstsein tritt, and der sich auch mitunter bis zur Begierde steigert. Hier begann für die altere Medizin die Pathologie, wie für die ältere Juristik die Kriminalität, ohne dass in dem natürlichen Verhalten irgend ein Grund für einen von beiden gegeben wäre.''
** Friendship between those of the same sex attains an erotic tone, which comes into consciousness, and which also occasionally increases to the point of desire. Here, for older medicine, was where pathology began, for older jurisprudence, where criminality began, without providing any reason for either.	
*** [[Hans Blüher]], ''The German [[w:Wandervogel|Wandervogel Movement]] as Erotic Phenomenon: A Contribution to the Knowledge of Sexual Inversion'' (1914), p. 34

* For example, when your children are being repeatedly told about the virtues of LBGT behaviors or &quot;same-sex marriage is a civil right,&quot; what are you going to say to them? Do same-sex behaviors and marriages present God's vision for His people? A well-informed family chaplain knows enough to say, &quot;Let's talk about this. Because first of all, the Bible is clear about such behavior and second, I don't think you know much about the civil rights era or what a 'civil right' really is.&quot; I was around during the civil rights movement and maybe you were, too. But if not, you'll have to do your homework. That way you're able to say, &quot;OK, I've studied this. So, let me explain to you what the civil rights movement was all about. It was about people not being given equal freedoms and opportunities because of the color of their skin. You can explain how those who were deprived of their rights didn't choose to be that color- black, brown, whatever- any more than some of us turned out to be white. But of this we can be sure; we are all made in the image of God- just the way we are.
** [[William G. Boykin]], ''Man to Man: Rediscovering Masculinity in a Challenging World'' (2020), p. 158-159

* With that in mind, is it okay to say those who are involved in homosexual relationships were created that way and therefore they have a &quot;civil right&quot; to do whatever they feel like doing? No, that's not what the Bible teaches us. The Bible frames homosexual behavior as a ''choice''- and not a good choice. That ''chosen behavior'' is not godly, because the Scripture is clear about the sinful nature of homosexuality. By the way, it's no different, and no worse, than the guy who's sleeping with his secretary instead of his wife. It's all sexual sin and it's covered in Romans I and elsewhere in the Bible. Now let me be clear on a couple things at this point, since I know already that I will be criticized for even raising the issue of homosexuality. First of all, sin is sin, period. I know; I am guilty of committing many of them. Christians need to see homosexuality in the context of all the sins listed in the Bible. Some have greater consequences, but all sin is wrong and separates us from the closeness to God that we should be seeking in our lives. If you are a practicing homosexual and I am a fornicator, who has committed the greater sin? Well, I hope you get to the point that we are equally sinners. It is all wrong and displeasing to God.
** [[William G. Boykin]], ''Man to Man: Rediscovering Masculinity in a Challenging World'' (2020), p. 159-160

* The second point is that while the Supreme Court may have created rights for LBGT couples to marry, that does not mean I am under any mandate to celebrate it. I will not be bullied into compromising on my beliefs about the whole issue of sexual sin or any other kind of sin for that matter. Sin not only break's God's laws, it breaks His heart. As a spiritual leader of my home, I need to communicate how sin not only grieves God, but it grieves me as well because it hurts all involved. 
** [[William G. Boykin]], ''Man to Man: Rediscovering Masculinity in a Challenging World'' (2020), p. 160

* Imagine seeing an attractive girl in the hallway who's in one of your classes, but who you've never really had the chance to talk with. Somehow, you get into a conversation with her. She seems nice, and you like her, and she's laughing and you're starting to get hopeful. Then a couple of football players come around the corner and say, &quot;Hey, what the hell are you talking to her for, faggot? Do you actually think you have a chance with her?&quot; And then they pick you up and push you into a locker, and you look like a pathetic weakling in front of the girl you were trying so hard to impress. Such things were commonplace at Columbine. If a guy was acting in the Columbine drama program, he was immediately labeled a &quot;drama fag.&quot; Not only was he not playing sports- which was what all normal guys were supposed to do at Columbine- but he was into that fine arts crap! The bullies found whatever weakness they could and went after it. I was a wuss because I wasn't in sports. I was gay because I liked theatre. Then when I was in debate, it was like, &quot;Ooh, you must be smart, huh huh huh.&quot; Apparently, they thought calling someone &quot;smart&quot; was an insult.
** Brooks Brown, ''No Easy Answers: The Truth Behind Death At Columbine'' (2006) with Rob Merritt, 2nd edition, p. 61

* This reluctance on the part of so many, to say an out and out yes to God and no to sin and its accompanying evil, has brought our present generation to its sorry state. We are not opposing an individual's right to be treated with equality and fairness, but we did rise in opposition to the misleading demand of so-called civil rights for homosexuals who are not a legitimate oppressed minority with the same claims and rights as, say, Chicanos and blacks.
** [[Anita Bryant]], ''The Anita Bryant Story: The Survival of Our Nation's Families and the Threat of Militant Homosexuality'' (1977), p. 34

* The attempt by homosexuals to label this as a civil-rights issue was nothing but camouflage. If we as a nation eventually came to the place where this is sanctioned as a legitimate civil-rights issue, then what is to stop the adulterer from claiming &quot;adulterer rights,&quot; the murderer from shouting &quot;murderer rights,&quot; the thief to claim &quot;extortioner rights,&quot; and a rebellious young person to insist on &quot;rebellious-child rights&quot;?
** [[Anita Bryant]], ''The Anita Bryant Story: The Survival of Our Nation's Families and the Threat of Militant Homosexuality'' (1977), p. 35

* I repeat my belief: Homosexuals do not suffer discrimination when they keep their perversions in the privacy of their homes. They can hold any job, transact any business, join any organization- so long as they do not flaunt their homosexuality and try to establish role models for the impressionable young people- our children. I will continue to fight the attempts of Metro, and the attempts of a few Congressmen who on February 2 presented a similar type of bill in the Congress of the United States to legitimize homosexuality. Homosexuals cannot reproduce- so they must recruit. And to freshen their ranks, they must recruit the youth of America. I shall continue to fight against that recruitment. Those who do not share my conviction may continue to blacklist my talent- but with God's help, they can never blacken my name.
** [[Anita Bryant]], ''The Anita Bryant Story: The Survival of Our Nation's Families and the Threat of Militant Homosexuality'' (1977), p. 62

* There are books out now, and there are those making speeches who accuse me of putting down homosexuals and making them out to be second-class citizens. They say I have shown no compassion to homosexuals. We are said to be giving out hysterical misinformation and making judgments and pronouncements without knowing or understanding what we are talking about. They say we are lacking in understanding. We are labeled as generating hatred and using Christianity as a way of discrimination. We are said to have tremendous hostility and hatred for the homosexual. I cannot tell you how this saddens me. I truly do love the homosexual, and all sinners for that matter. It has been said that I am a one-issue person, which is not true. I hate &quot;sins&quot; in the plural just as Billy Graham, Oral Roberts, and other public religious figures have expressed. I have spoken out on the issue of homosexuality because it is the one we were confronted with. I have said it hundreds of times, and I'll go on saying it. I love the homosexual too much not to tell him the truth. I  love these people enough to care about where they're going to spend eternity. And I love them enough to want to do something to help them.
** [[Anita Bryant]], ''At Any Cost'' (1978) by Anita Bryant and Bob Green, p. 17-18

* When I repeat what the Bible says about sin- including homosexual acts- and emphasize that God calls for repentance (which means a feeling of sorrow and changing one's ways), I do so with compassion. Deliberate and unrepentant sin of ''any'' kind is contrary to the will of God, and until we admit ''and forsake'' our sin we cannot experience the forgiveness of God in Christ. Such statements on my part do not reveal a poverty of compassion. What my critics' statements reveal is the depths of depravity to which the human mind will go to justify and hang onto one's self-centered sexuality. The biblical truths of which I speak do not originate with me. This call for repentance is not my idea. My source book of truth is the Word of God.
** [[Anita Bryant]], ''At Any Cost'' (1978) by Anita Bryant and Bob Green, p. 18

* There are well-known church leaders who are saying the church must counter my statements. One such woman leader stated: &quot;Society doesn't have enough knowledge about homosexuality to consider it without being judgmental. This is one of those areas that we don't know enough about now. I don't know why, but God makes people feel this way, and I know He loves them, and I don't feel like being judgmental about it... This is a misuse of religion that we have had through all of the centuries about anything we don't like. In terms of loving people, I think it's a terribly unloving way to behave.&quot; ''God makes people this way...'' What could be more erroneous than to blame God for the sin of homosexuality? No one can lay that charge to the Almighty. Research data consistently shows that homosexuals must make a choice whether to act out their sexual preference or to keep it under control. Jerry Kirk in the book ''The Homosexual Crisis in the Mainline Church'' states that righteousness, not research, will decide where the church must stand. As of now the claims of scientists and researchers are contradictory. Either the church stands on the claims of the Word of God and faces up to the fact that God calls for moral responsibility, or it will be held accountable for failure to hold up the standards of righteousness.
** [[Anita Bryant]], ''At Any Cost'' (1978) by Anita Bryant and Bob Green, p. 35

* If I saw a man drowning, and I had it within my power to rescue that man, but I turned my back and walked away, what kind of a person would I be? That's love in action? Just so, I see the homosexual as a victim who needs help. I have it within my power to hold out to the homosexual, in Christlike compassion, that which will rescue him from eternal punishment. My way of showing love may not necessarily be the same as someone else's, but who is being judgmental when they accuse me of unloving behavior?
** [[Anita Bryant]], ''At Any Cost'' (1978) by Anita Bryant and Bob Green, p. 37

== C ==
[[File:Pan e Siringa.jpg|thumb|right|]]

* '''Catholics and other Christians are against abortions and they're against homosexuals. Well who has less abortions than homosexuals? Leave these fucking people ''alone'' for Christ's sake! Here is an entire class of people guaranteed never to have an abortion and the Catholics and the Christians are just tossing them aside. You'd think they'd make natural allies! Don't look for consistency in religion.'''
** [[George Carlin]], ''[[w:Back in Town (George Carlin album|Back in Town]]'' (1996), &quot;Abortion&quot;

* The reason for most violence against gays is that heterosexual men are forced to prove that they, themselves, are not gay. It goes like this: Men in strong male subcultures like the police, the military, and sports (and a few other cesspools) bond very strongly. Hunting, fishing, and golfing friendships also produce this unnatural bonding. These guys bond and bond, and get closer and closer, until finally they're just drunk enough to say, &quot;You know, I really love these guys.&quot; And that frightens them. So they must quickly add, &quot;But I'm not a queer!&quot; See the dilemma? Now they have to go out of their way to prove to the world, to their buddies, and to themselves that they don't harbor homoerotic feelings. And it's only a short step from &quot;I'm not a queer&quot; to &quot;In fact, I hate queers!&quot; And another short step to &quot;Let's go kill some queers!&quot; And what they really seek to kill is not the queer outside, it's the queer inside they fear.
** [[George Carlin]], ''[[w:Brain Droppings|Brain Droppings]]'' (1997), p. 64

*  God is happy that you are gay. God made you fucking gay cuz he thinks it is awesome.
** [[Margaret Cho]] [http://margaretcho.com/2008/09/17/im-a-christian-you-fuckers/ I'm a Christian you Fuckers]

* Yet of old the matter seemed even to be a law, and a certain law-giver among them bade the domestic slaves neither to use ointments when dry (i.e. except in bathing) nor to keep youths, giving the free this place of honor, or rather of shamefulness. Yet they, however, did not think the thing shameful, but as being a grand privilege, and one too great for slaves, the Athenian people, the wisest of people, and Solon who is so great among them, permitted it to the free alone. And sundry other books of the philosophers may one see full of this disease. But we do not therefore say that the thing was made lawful, but that they who received this law were pitiable, and objects for many tears. For these are treated in the same way as women that play the whore. Or rather their plight is more miserable. For in the case of the one the intercourse, even if lawless, is yet according to nature: but this is contrary both to law and nature. For even if there were no hell, and no punishment had been threatened, this were worse than any punishment. Yet if you say they found pleasure in it, you tell me what adds to the vengeance. For suppose I were to see a person running naked, with his body all besmeared with mire, and yet not covering himself, but exulting in it, I should not rejoice with him, but should rather bewail that he did not even perceive that he was doing shamefully.
** [[John Chrysostom]], Homily on Romans IV

* '''Gay rights are human rights.'''
** [[Hillary Clinton]], quoted in ''The Week'', 10 December 2011, p. 10

== D ==
[[File:François Lemoyne - Woman Bathing - WGA12659.jpg|thumb|right|]]
* Some people haven't figured it out yet. When it comes to sex, all women are gay. Some men are holdouts.	
** {{w|Betty Dodson}} as quoted in &quot;The Exercise Must Be Free&quot;, Jerry Talmer, GayCityNews, October 30, 2008 Archived December 27, 2008, at the Wayback Machine.

* A purple robe he wore, o'erwrought with gold
:With the device of a great snake, whose breath
:Was a fiery flame: which when I did behold
:I fell a-weeping and I cried, &quot;Sweet youth,
:Tell me why, sad and sighing, thou dost rove
:These pleasant realms? I pray thee speak me sooth
:What is thy name?&quot; He said, &quot;My name is Love.&quot;
:Then straight the first did turn himself to me
:And cried, &quot;He lieth, for his name is Shame,
:But I am Love, and I was wont to be
:Alone in this fair garden, till he came
:Unasked by night; I am true Love, I fill
:The hearts of boy and girl with mutual flame.&quot;
:Then sighing said the other, &quot;Have thy will,
:I am the Love that dare not speak its name.&quot;
:* [[w:Lord Alfred Douglas|Lord Alfred Douglas]] from &lt;i&gt;[[s:Two Loves (1894 poem)|Two Loves]]&lt;/i&gt;

* There can be little doubt that, as far as they thought of the matter at all, Marx and Engels were personally homophobic, as shown by an acerbic 1869 exchange of letters on Jean-Baptiste von Schweitzer, a German socialist rival. Schweitzer had been arrested in a park on a morals charge and not only did Marx and Engels refuse to join a committee defending him, they resorted to the cheapest form of bathroom humor in their private comments about the affair.
** {{W|Wayne R. Dynes}}, Encyclopedia of Homosexuality - Marxism
[[File:Boucher Leda och svanen.jpg|thumb|right|]]
* As early as the 1920s leaders of Western Communist parties began to float the idea that the public discussion of homosexuality, and the seeming increase in homosexual activity, resulted from the decadence of capitalism in its death throes. Homosexuality was to disappear in the healthy new society of the future.
** {{W|Wayne R. Dynes}}, Encyclopedia of Homosexuality - Marxism

== E ==

== F==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_Charlie_Mitchell.jpg|thumb|right|''Charlie Mitchell'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
* '''Homosexuality is assuredly no advantage, but it is nothing to be ashamed of, no vice, no degradation, it cannot be classified as an illness.'''
** [[Sigmund Freud]], letter to an American mother's plea to cure her son's homosexuality, April 9th. 1935. quoted in Vernon A. Rosario, ''Homosexuality and Science: A Guide to the Debates'', ABC-CLIO, 2002. Also quoted in David A. J. Richards, ''Sex, Drugs, Death, and the Law: An Essay on Human Rights and Overcriminalization''. [[w:Rowman &amp; Littlefield|Rowman &amp; Littlefield]], 1986  (p. 72).

== G==

* The origins of the two political movements at the heart of America's culture war are as humble as they are contemporary. The cultural ferment of the 1960s stands as the prelude to the battle to come. The first rousings of the modern gay movement date back to a sultry summer night in June 1969 when a ragtag group of drag queens and teenage hustlers rebelled against police harassment outside the Stonewall Inn, a Greenwich Village gay bar. The gays and lesbians who led the disturbance had little more to rely on than their anger. In a time when police raids on gay bars were the norm, they were largely at the mercy of hostile city officials. Routinely described as freaks and perverts in the press (one newspaper mockingly described the protesters as &quot;Queen Bees&quot;), they had little political organization to speak of, were characterized as mentally ill by the mainstream of the medical profession, and were generally banished from jobs and families if their sexuality was discovered. The political weakness and precarious social position of gays and lesbians at the time of Stonewall remains a fact that the religious right, intent on painting them as privileged and pathological, has been loath to accept. 
** John Gallagher and Chris Bull, ''The Religious Right, the Gay Movement, and the Politics of the 1990s'' (1996), Ch. 1

* The &quot;silent majority,&quot; Viguerie determined, was as motivated by a constellation of family issues, exemplified by gay rights and abortion, as the old conservative standard, anticommunism. The transition was a relatively smooth one. The old right had couched its anticommunism in the rhetoric of family values long before it was fashionable. Even though communism both in the United States and abroad was notoriously homophobic, the old right viewed it as weakening the Christian fabric of the nation, which would enable homosexuals to gain a stronger foothold. Homosexuals were often lampooned as limp-wristed &quot;pinkos,&quot; and perhaps the staunchest anticommunist of all, J. Edgar Hoover, took to attacking both homosexuals and communists in identical terms. Faced with the reality that communism was a dying ideology even before the decline of the Soviet Union, the new right and the religious right came to depict homosexuals as one of the chief evils of the modern world. It was the homosexual movement, particularly by gaining admission to the U.S. armed services, that would destroy America from within and make it vulnerable to foreign armies. Furthermore, by infiltrating the schools, homosexuals, like communists, had an insidious influence on the nation's most vulnerable commodity, its children. The new emphasis would leave the new right well stocked with new enemies closer to home after the fall of the &quot;Evil Empire&quot; in the mid-1980s.
** John Gallagher and Chris Bull, ''The Religious Right, the Gay Movement, and the Politics of the 1990s'' (1996), Ch. 1

*  The most bitter showdown came in California in 1978, when state senator and gubernatorial candidate John Briggs of Fullerton, armed with Bryant's contributor list, launched a drive to ban open homosexuals, or anyone advocating the 'gay lifestyle,&quot; from teaching in public schools. Largely as a result of unexpected opposition from then-governor [[Ronald Reagan]] and other prominent conservatives, the Briggs initiative lost by more than one million votes, 3.9 million to 2.8 million. Under intense lobbying from gay activists including David Mixner, who would go on to become a key adviser to President Clinton, Reagan refused to endorse the initiative on libertarian grounds, which should have tipped off his religious right supporters that he was not to be their messiah. The initiative &quot;is not needed to protect our children--we have that legal protection now,&quot; Reagan said. &quot;It has the potential of real mischief.... What if an overwrought youngster, disappointed by bad grades, imagined it was the teacher's fault and struck out by accusing the teacher of advocating homosexuality. Innocent lives could be ruined.&quot;
** John Gallagher and Chris Bull, ''The Religious Right, the Gay Movement, and the Politics of the 1990s'' (1996), Ch. 1

* Embittered by the unexpected defeat, Briggs, who once described gay men as women trapped in men's bodies,&quot; called San Francisco the &quot;moral garbage dump of homosexuality in this country.&quot; The Briggs battle coincided--indeed, helped propel--the first stirrings of urban gay political power. In San Francisco, Harvey Milk was elected to the Board of Supervisors in 1977. In Milk, antigay crusaders like Bryant and Briggs had met their match. The product of a middle-class Jewish family in Woodmere, New York, Milk supported Barry Goldwater's right wing presidential campaign in 1964. Caught up in the radicalism of the 1960s, Milk grew a ponytail, traded in his suit for bellbottoms, and headed off to San Francisco, where he opened a camera shop on Castro Street. By 1973, Milk was already blazing gay political trails, finishing tenth in a field of thirty-two candidates for the Board of Supervisors, despite the gay establishment's warning that it was too soon for an openly gay candidate to seek elected office. 
** John Gallagher and Chris Bull, ''The Religious Right, the Gay Movement, and the Politics of the 1990s'' (1996), Ch. 1

* The present status of gay activism makes it imperative that thinking Christians really understand the situation on the national scene... Evangelical Christians need to be alert to the implications of this gay force in their communities, their churches, and their nation. But most of all, they need to understand the underlying biblical and theological assumptions which have always made the church of Jesus Christ, though not always in an intelligent and loving way, clearly and unequivocally condemn homosexuality. The response of the real Christian on the issue of homosexuality should not be an emotional trauma toward the repulsion and stigma attached to the movement and its adherents. It should be a rather clear exposition of what the Bible has to say on the subject, with redemptive goals which have clear ramifications in society and the church.
** Kenneth O. Gangel, President of Miami Christian College (1974-1982), in ''Communicare'' magazine published by the College. As quoted by [[Anita Bryant]], ''The Anita Bryant Story: The Survival of Our Nation's Families and the Threat of Militant Homosexuality'' (1977), p. 33

* American society is already hospitable to passive and effeminate males. What they need is affirmation as men so that their existing androgyny does not lead to sexual suicide; to impotence and homosexuality. Contrary to the feminist view, the latitude of the two sexes is not the same. While women can venture into the masculine sphere without grave damage and can even indulge in occasional lesbianism, the greater sexual insecurity of males makes it more difficult and unsettling for them to engage in female roles. Homosexuality, moreover, can inflict permanent damage on their sexual identities. Because males must bear the burdens of initiation and performance in sexual activity, a homosexual fixation is often permanent. A man cannot be easily rescued by an aggressive woman.
** [[George Gilder]], ''Sexual Suicide'' (New York: Quadrangle Books, 1973), p. 226

* While there are many people who accept the romantic propaganda about male homosexual existence, the life of tricks and trades is in fact agonizing for most of its practitioners. Lasting relationships are few and sour. The usual circuit of gay bars, returning servicemen, forlorn personal advertisements, and street cruises affords gratifications so brief and squalid that the society should do everything it can to prevent the spread of the disease. This emphatically does not mean harassing or imprisoning homosexuals. In fact, the worst perversion occasioned by homosexuality is the police practice of entraptment. But at the same time it is crucial to affirm precarious males of their heterosexuality. Natural compassion for men who are already homosexual- and our recognition that men who are already homosexual- and our recognition that some have adjusted happily- should not lead us to praise or affirm the homosexual alternative or to acquiesce in its propaganda.
** [[George Gilder]], ''Sexual Suicide'' (New York: Quadrangle Books, 1973), p. 226

* The chief attraction of homosexual activity is that it does not require confidence or male identity or even face-to-face self-exposure. It can even be informed without an erection. It is thus an inviting escape for the fallen male. Nonetheless, actual homosexuality is by no means inevitable in such cases. A man can recover from his dejection, restore hos confidence, and return to full heterosexuality. This is the usual course of events. It is tragic, therefore, if the cultural ambience provides more easily for homosexuality than for recover of normal patterns. In many parts of urban America this tragedy is a way of life.
** [[George Gilder]], ''Sexual Suicide'' (New York: Quadrangle Books, 1973), p. 227

* At the same time that we teach empathy to the bullies, we need to stop sending the victims the message that their own behavior or traits are bringing on the attacks. This requires a fundamental change in the way adults view bullying. A child is not bullied because he is gay or autistic or overweight. A child is bullied because a bully has decided that the target is unacceptably different and less worthy of respect. We must teach the targets how to cognitively frame the bullying so that they do not think the abuse is their fault or something they deserve. Groundbreaking new research by Stan Davis and Charisse Nixon has shown that when a victim learns to think about the bullying in new ways- &quot;This bullying is not happening because I am overweight. It is happening because the bully is choosing to act in a mean and hateful way, and that is his fault, not mine&quot;- then the effects of the mistreatment are greatly diminished. Davis and Nixon's research also shows that many bullied kids find relief when they tell an adult or peer, but many are reluctant to do so.
** Carrie Goldman, ''Bullied: What Every Parent, Teacher and Kid Needs to Know About Ending the Cycle of Fear'' (2012) p. 270-271

==H==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1921_-_Morning_splendour.jpg|thumb|right|''Morning splendour'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
*We say that homosexuality is a perfectly natural state, a fact, a way of life, and that we enjoy our sexuality, without feelings of inferiority or guilt. We seek and find love, and approach love, as a feeling of loving mutuality.
**[[Harry Hay]], Statement of Purpose: Gay Liberation Front (Dec. 1969)

* …I knew that I was gay in every bone of my body. So I did the only thing I could do. I started the movement.
** [[Harry Hay]], on living a closeted married life in “Meet Pioneer of Gay Rights, Harry Hay” in ''The Progressive'' (2016 Aug 9)

*We do not even know-though we theorise and penalise with ferocious confidence-whether the &quot;normal&quot; sexual relationship is homo-, bi-, or hetero-sexual.
** [[w:Winifred Holtby|Winifred Holtby]], ''Women and A Changing Civilisation'', London, John Lane (1934) Quoted in Marion Shaw,''The Clear Stream : A Life of Winifred Holtby''. London : Virago, 1999 (p.60). Also quoted in Jane Garrity, ''Step-daughters of England: British Women Modernists and the National Imaginary,'' [[w:Manchester University Press|Manchester University Press]], 2003 (p.79).

==I==
==J==
==K==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1905_-_The_three_companions.jpg|thumb|right|''The three companions'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]

* Even laws enacted for broad and ambitious purposes often can be explained by reference to legitimate public policies which justify the incidental disadvantages they impose on certain persons. Amendment 2, however, in making a general announcement that gays and lesbians shall not have any particular protections from the law, inflicts on them immediate, continuing, and real injuries that outrun and belie any legitimate justifications that may be claimed for it. We conclude that, in addition to the far-reaching deficiencies of Amendment 2 that we have noted, the principles it offends, in another sense, are conventional and venerable; a law must bear a rational relationship to a legitimate governmental purpose, ''Kadrmas v. Dickinson Public Schools'', 487 U. S. 450, 462 (1988), and Amendment 2 does not.
** [[Anthony Kennedy]], author of the majority opinion in ''[[w:Romer v. Evans|Romer v. Evans]]'' (decided 20 May, 1996), 517 U.S. 620, 635, joined by Associate Justices Stevens, O'Connor, Souter, Ginsburg, Breyer

* The primary rationale the State offers for Amendment 2 is respect for other citizens' freedom of association, and in particular the liberties of landlords or employers who have personal or religious objections to homosexuality. Colorado also cites its interest in conserving resources to fight discrimination against other groups. The breadth of the amendment is so far removed from these particular justifications that we find it impossible to credit them. We cannot say that Amendment 2 is directed to any identifiable legitimate purpose or discrete objective. It is a status-based enactment divorced from any factual context from which we could discern a relationship to legitimate state interests; it is a classification of persons undertaken for its own sake, something the Equal Protection Clause does not permit. &quot;[C]lass legislation ... [is] obnoxious to the prohibitions of the Fourteenth Amendment .... &quot; ''Civil Rights Cases, 109'' U. S., at 24. &lt;br&gt;We must conclude that Amendment 2 classifies homosexuals not to further a proper legislative end but to make them unequal to everyone else. This Colorado cannot do. A State cannot so deem a class of persons a stranger to its laws. Amendment 2 violates the Equal Protection Clause, and the judgment of the Supreme Court of Colorado is affirmed. It is so ordered.
** [[Anthony Kennedy]], author of the majority opinion in ''[[w:Romer v. Evans|Romer v. Evans]]'' (decided 20 May, 1996), 517 U.S. 620, 635-636, joined by Associate Justices Stevens, O'Connor, Souter, Ginsburg, Breyer

* Gay: A sexual or affectional preference a self-identified man has for other men; as with lesbians, sometimes this identity is held regardless of gender identification.
** Michael Kimmel and The Stony Book Sexualities Research Group (editors), ''Sexualities: Identities, Behaviors, and Society'' (2004), 2nd Edition (2015), p. 681

* Now let us ask the question: Is there &quot;no room&quot; for the homosexual in the kingdom of God, and therefore, no room in the church? Scripture says both no and yes. All sinners are welcome at the Cross, but only repentant sinners are invited to become members of Christ's church. Calvin commented, &quot;The wicked do, indeed, inherit the kingdom of God, but only after they have been turned to the Lord in true repentance and justified after their conversion and so cease to be wicked.&quot; Scripture says no to the avowed, practicing, and unrepentant just as it says no to the practicing, unrepentant adulterer, robber, or idolator. But the answer is yes to the homosexual who, by the grace and love of God and the prayers and support of the Christian community, will repent of his or her behavior, turn to Christ, and seek God's power for a new lifestyle of wholeness.
** Jerry Kirk, ''The Homosexual Crisis In the Mainline Church'' (1978). Nashville: Thomas Nelson, Inc. Publishers, p. 73

* Most of us struggle with self-love, but the gay struggle is of a greater intensity. In much of the literature that has been written, gays seem to put the blame for their lack of self-acceptance on the attitudes of the church and the society. This is undoubtedly ''partially'' true of the many people who loathe and reject homosexuality and all that surrounds it. Some are in the church and some are in the society. They have been influenced by ''both'' the church and the society. In addition, the ''Bible'' has had a profound influence upon the moral values esteemed by people. &lt;br&gt;However, I also want to make a plea for gays to look more honestly at themselves and more responsibly to the Scriptures. Because the underlying reason for their lack of self-acceptance is sin, and the true moral guilt that comes with it, gays need to know that all of us find it difficult to accept ourselves and love ourselves. We find it most difficult when we are rebelling against God and living in sin. &lt;br&gt;Gays accuse us of focusing upon their sin and not facing our own. They say, &quot;why don't you face your sins of fornication and adultery as seriously as you want us to face our homosexuality? Why aren't you concerned about your inability to love us the way Jesus calls you to love us? Is that not as serious as our sin?&quot; Yes, it is. &lt;br&gt;Sin does reach the church. However, when we face our own sins squarely and gratefully accept God's grace, then we are set free to love fellow sinners. So I must say to the homosexual, if you are ''truly'' concerned over straight people's sins, turn your own sin over to Jesus Christ and then, please come help us! Should I not say the same thing to the rest of us? If we are truly concerned over homosexual sins, let us turn our sin over to Jesus Christ, and then, please come help them!
** Jerry Kirk, ''The Homosexual Crisis In the Mainline Church'' (1978). Nashville: Thomas Nelson, Inc. Publishers, p. 103

* It was when I was twelve years old that I encountered a homosexual for the first time. I had no idea what was going on. I was in a movie theater in Seattle and the fellow in the next seat put his hand on my knee. I waited a moment, assuming it was an accident and that he would remove it. Surprisingly, he didn't. Finally, I grabbed his hand with all my strength and literally threw it back at him. My adrenaline was pumping full steam. I bolted out of my seat, stalked back up the aisle several rows, and sat down. I stared at the back of that guy's head during much of the movie. Then, when I was older, I was in a car with a young man who put his arm around my shoulder. I think I was more frightened than anything else because he was in control of the car. It was a legitimate fear of the unknown that made me shout, &quot;Stop this car! I'm getting out of here!&quot;
** Jerry Kirk, ''The Homosexual Crisis In the Mainline Church'' (1978). Nashville: Thomas Nelson, Inc. Publishers, p. 127

* In the eyes of [[Fidel Castro|Castro]] and his revolutionary comrade [[Che Guevara]] — who frequently referred to gay men as maricones, “faggots” — homosexuality was inherently counterrevolutionary, a bourgeois decadence.
** ''Fidel Castro's Horrific Record on Gay Rights'', James Kirchick, 27 November 2016, The Daily Beast

* After two decades of building socialism in the USSR there is no reason for anybody to be a homosexual.
** [[Nikolai Krylenko]], on the law re-criminalizing homosexuality in 1936. Quoted in David Tuller, Cracks in the Iron Closet: Travels in Gay and Lesbian Russia, University of Chicago Press, 1996

==L==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1909_-_Two_boys_on_a_beach_(A_study_in_bright_sunlight).jpg|thumb|right|''Two boys on a beach'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
* [[Ballet]] is the fairies' [[baseball]].
** [[Oscar Levant]], as quoted in [https://www.newspapers.com/newspage/161384355/ &quot;Oscar the Magnificent&quot;] by Burt Prelutsky, in ''The Los Angeles Times'' (January 26, 1969), p. 468

* For educators with a conservative agenda, teaching that sex means heterosexual intercourse is part of the point. For straight unmarried boys and girls, according to them, anything more than holding hands is treacherous and sinful; homosexuality is beyond consideration.
** Judith Levine, ''Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children From Sex (2002), p. 130

* You shall not [[w:Homosexuality in the Hebrew Bible#Leviticus 18 and 20|lie with a male as with a woman]]; it is an [[w:Abomination (Bible)#Tōʻēḇā|abomination]].
** ''[[Book of Leviticus]]'' [[w:Leviticus 18|18:22]] ([[KJV]])

* If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
** ''[[Book of Leviticus]]'' [[w:Leviticus 20|20:13]] ([[KJV]])

* ...love is not enough... truth is also important... Good feelings cannot deliver the homosexual from the judgement of God. If he does not repent, he is doomed, but he is not alone. So are all other unrepentant sinners. God is no respecter of persons; He is also no respecter of one's sexual appetites. Hell will be partially populated by 'caring, honest, whole persons' who are proud they are gay.
** [[Harold Lindsell]], as quoted by [[Anita Bryant]] in ''The Anita Bryant Story: The Survival of Our Nation's Families and the Threat of Militant Homosexuality'' (1977), p. 111

==M==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1920_-_Youth_on_beach.jpg|thumb|right|''Youth on a beach'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
* While largely clandestine owing to laws prohibiting 'indecency' in public (the artist Simeon Solomon was one of those so prosecuted), private male homosexual acts were not explicitly and severely legislated against until 1885, when gay sex behind closed doors was made a criminal offence. This led, most notoriously, to the imprisonment in 1896 of Oscar Wilde, playwright and poseur. &lt;br&gt; Reasons for the emergence of a distinctly gay subculture within 1890s' Decadence movement include the promotion of 'Greek' or Platonic relationships by some university dons; the extended bachelorhood that resulted from prescriptions of financial prudence and sexual continence; and a counter-cultural defiance of orthodox moral teaching, which gave added allure to the forbidden and deviant. The supremely Decadent drawings of Aubrey Beardsley (1872-98) vividly evoke the atmosphere of this moment. &lt;br&gt; At the very end of the century, questions of sexual identity were also subject to speculative and would-be scientific investigation, dubbed sexology (1902). Writers such as Havelock Ellis (1859-1939) attempted a detailed classification of 'normal' and 'perverse' sexual practices. This led to the identification of a 'third' or 'intermediate' sex, for which Ellis used the term 'sexual inversion'. Writer and social reformer Edward Carpenter (1844-1929), who lived with a younger male partner, adapted the word 'Uranian' (1899) to denote male and female homosexuality, and around the same time, Lesbian and Sapphic came into use as terms for female relationships. Apocryphally, these were also due to be criminalised in the 1885 legislation, until Queen Victoria declared them impossible, whereupon the clause was omitted - a joke that serves to underline a common, and commonly welcomed, ignorance, at a time when lurid, fictionalised lesbianism was often figured as an especially repulsive/seductive French vice.
** Jan Marsh, [http://www.vam.ac.uk/content/articles/s/sex-and-sexuality-19th-century/ “Sex &amp; Sexuality in the 19th Century”], “Victoria and Albert Museum”, (2016)

* Men usually remain unmarried for three reasons: either because they cannot afford to marry or there are no girls to marry (neither of these factors need have deterred Jesus); or because it is inexpedient for them to marry in the light of their vocation (we have already ruled this out during the ‘hidden years’ of Jesus' life); or because they are homosexual in nature, in as much as women hold no special attraction for them. The homosexual explanation is one which me must not ignore. ...  All the synoptic gospels show Jesus in close relationship with the ‘outsiders’ and the unloved. Publicans and sinners, prostitutes and criminals are among his acquaintances and companions. If Jesus were homosexual in nature (and this is the true explanation of his celibate state) then this would be further evidence of God's self-identification with those who are unacceptable to the upholders of ‘The Establishment’ and social conventions.
** [[Hugh Montefiore]] ([[w:Bishop of Kingston|Bishop of Kingston]] from 1970 to 1978 and [[w:Bishop of Birmingham|Bishop of Birmingham]] from 1977 to 1987),  “Jesus, the Revelation of God,” in ''Christ for Us Today: Papers read at the Conference of Modern Churchmen, Somerville College, Oxford, July 1967'', edited by Norman Pittenger (SCM Press, London: 1968), pp. 109-110.

==N==
* There is probably no more powerful source of stigma for an adolescent boy than being labeled gay. The risk to a boy's reputation is immeasurable, and his place on the social ladder is utterly compromised if even a smidgeon of it sticks.
** Katherine S. Newman, ''Rampage: The Social Roots of School Shootings'' (2004), p. 145

* The power of this epithet has grown so much that it now covers a much wider range of behavior than the purely sexual reference that it connoted in the past. The term &quot;gay&quot; is now used as a slang term for any form of social or athletic incompetence. Students routinely say to one another &quot;that's gay&quot; when they are talking about a wide array of mistakes or social failures. If someone fails to make the right move on a soccer field or drops a lunch tray in the cafeteria, the kid behind him is quite likely to say, &quot;That's really gay.&quot; Why? one fifteen-year-old girl provided an explanation: &quot;Boys have a fascination with not being gay. They want to be manly, and put each other down by saying 'that's gay.'&quot; Thus for boys, the struggle for status is in large part competition for the rank of alpha male, and any loss one boy can inflict on another opens up a new rung on the ladder that he might move into.
** Katherine S. Newman, ''Rampage: The Social Roots of School Shootings'' (2004), p. 145-146

* I grew up in Sydney, Australia. There was this boy at my school. I liked him and wanted to try sex but he was like, &quot;No. You're just going to make me say &quot;yes&quot; and then you're going to make fun of me at school,&quot; because I was a jock and he was the gay boy at school who everyone picked on. We both liked music. That was our connection. So we used to go on friend dates to see like Cheap Trick, or The Knack or whatever. Then I'd drag him to punk clubs to see The Ramones. He used to cry because that the punk shows were so loud. He was more of a disco boy. One night we went and saw the movie ''Flash Gordon''. Kind of a homoerotic movie. I thought it was horrible but I could see it was working on him. In the movie, Flash Gordon was a quarterback on an American football team and I played rugby which, I guess, got him excited. I can credit that movie and the music of Queen with getting me laid at 14. Rather young but I was pushy and he was cute, so it had to happen. We went back to his place and had sex in the shower. We dated for a long time after that.
** Niles, as quoted in ''How to Lose Your Virginity (and how not to): Shocking, Humorous, Dangerous, Sweet &amp; Scandelous Stories of the First Time'' by Shawn Wickens

* Many young people have left our churches and wandered off into the &quot;gay&quot; lifestyle. They abandon their faith or somehow justify their choices by claiming they were born that way. Why would a loving God create them in a way that is contrary to the Scriptures? They are left struggling through the rest of their life, often falling deeper and deeper into a godless lifestyle and further and further away from their faith. Unfortunately, the Christian world has taken two opposite extremes, both of which leave the &quot;gay&quot; individual without any honest answers. Some have decided that homosexuality is not a sin. They expect Christians that believe it is a sin to accept these individuals' lifestyle rather than help them escape from their behavior. The other extreme is to deem them hopelessly condemned and to release them into the world with no way back.
** David J. Nixon, ''Born That Way After All'' (2016). David J. Nixon with R.G. Hamm, p. 1

* It was nearing midnight. We had been talking, praying, and reading the Scriptures for nearly two hours. I carefully shared the idea with Sam that maybe he had indeed been born that way, not as a &quot;homosexual,&quot; but as a &quot;eunuch.&quot; I explained what eunuchs were, and I assured Sam that they were made uniquely by God for a special purpose. I told him that in my study of the subject, I had come to believe that many young men, who thought they must be homosexuals, were actually eunuchs. I will never forget what happened that night. Sam began to weep. I could see something different in his eyes. He read Matthew 19:12 over and over again, and then he began to shiver. He looked up at me and then turned to his mother and, through his tears, Sam said, &quot;Mom, ''I'm not gay.''&quot; His mom and grandmother began to weep. All of us were crying. He said, &quot;''I'm a eunuch. I guess God did make me special.''&quot; What an amazing moment it was for all of us. &lt;br&gt;The joy was soon turned to conviction because Sam asked me a question that would redefine my ministry. With reddened eyes and a trembling voice, Sam asked, &quot;Preacher, why didn't someone show this to me when I was younger? This could have saved me so much regret.&quot; At that moment, I knew a ministry had been born by the work of the Holy Spirit. It is amazing to think that someone like me who had so often treated &quot;gays&quot; as outcast and perverts would now commit myself to helping them understand they were indeed ''not'' born gay, but that maybe they were created &quot;different' and special- as natural eunuchs. I will never forget the joy of that first experience, when I saw Sam come to the realization that he was ''born that way after all''.
** David J. Nixon, ''Born That Way After All'' (2016). David J. Nixon with R.G. Hamm, p. 12

* Hopefully, all Christians are concerned about the treatment of marriage in making same sex unions legal in this country. However, long before society devalued this institution, the churches did so in the way we sold it to our kids. By worshiping marriage, we devalued it. Worshiping anything ''not'' meant to be worshiped is the same as devaluing it. We took away the sacredness of marriage by pushing the idea that it is some kind of sensual, romantic byproduct that is somehow necessary for everyone.
** David J. Nixon, ''Born That Way After All'' (2016). David J. Nixon with R.G. Hamm, p. 123

* No one can make a choice for us as to how we react with the truth we learn. Once it is learned, we are left with the fact that we can never again make excuses. Let's confirm the truth that you are able to be pure before God, no matter how far into sin you have gone. If you were deep into the &quot;homosexual&quot; or &quot;lesbian&quot; lifestyle, you have absolute liberty to return to Christ and be cleansed. You do not have to live in guilt or shame, because you can be completely forgiven. However, that liberty comes from a single and extremely misunderstood word- repentance. You must repent. Now that does not mean that you must do penance of some kind or crawl on your hands and knees back to God. Repentance is a change of mind.
** David J. Nixon, ''Born That Way After All'' (2016). David J. Nixon with R.G. Hamm, p. 193

==P==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_Youth_in_white_trousers.jpg|thumb|right|''Youth in white trousers'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
* Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,  And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things. Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
** [[Paul of Tarsus]], [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%201&amp;version=KJV Romans 1:20-27] (KJV).

* Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, ... will inherit the kingdom of God.
** [[Paul of Tarsus]], [http://biblia.com/bible/esv/1%20Corinthians%206.9-10 1 Corinthians 6:9–10] (ESV).

* Overall, Catholics are split on whether homosexual behavior is a sin. More than four-in-ten (44%, including 59% of weekly Mass attenders) say it is, but nearly as many (39%) say it is not. 
**  [http://www.pewforum.org/2015/09/02/u-s-catholics-open-to-non-traditional-families/ &quot;U.S. Catholics Open to Non-Traditional Families&quot;]. ''Pew Research Center''. 2015. 

*...he would prefer to die many deaths: while as for leaving the one he loves in a lurch, or not succoring him in peril, no man is such a craven that the influence of Love cannot inspire him with a courage that makes him equal to the bravest born.
** Phaedrus in [[Plato]], ''Symposium'' 178e–179a.

* [[Homer]]'s Nestor was not well skilled in ordering an army when he advised the Greeks to rank tribe and tribe ... he should have joined lovers and their beloved. For men of the same tribe little value one another when dangers press; but a band cemented by friendship grounded upon love is never to be broken.
** [[Plutarch]], ''Pelopidas'' 18.2; discussed by K.J. Dover, ''Greek Homosexuality'' (Harvard University Press, 1978, 1989), p. 192, and Louis Crompton, Homosexuality and Civilization (Harvard University Press, 2003), p. 74.

==Q==

==R==

==S==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1928_-_Figure_study_for_%22Aquamarine%22.jpg|thumb|right|''Figure study for Aquamarine'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
* In English-speaking countries, the connection between heresy and homosexuality is expressed through the use of a single word to denote both concepts: ''buggery''. ... ''Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary'' (Third Edition) defines “buggery” as “heresy, sodomy.”	
** [[Thomas Szasz]],  ''The Manufacture of Madness: A Comparative Study of the Inquisition and the Mental Health Movement'' (1997), p. 165

* The Court has mistaken a Kulturkampf for a fit of spite. The constitutional amendment before us here is not the manifestation of a &quot;'bare ... desire to harm' &quot; homosexuals, ''ante'', at 634, but is rather a modest attempt by seemingly tolerant Coloradans to preserve traditional sexual mores against the efforts of a politically powerful minority to revise those mores through use of the laws. That objective, and the means chosen to achieve it, are not only unimpeachable under any constitutional doctrine hitherto pronounced (hence the opinion's heavy reliance upon principles of righteousness rather than judicial holdings); they have been specifically approved by the Congress of the United States and by this Court. &lt;br&gt;In holding that homosexuality cannot be singled out for disfavorable treatment, the Court contradicts a decision, unchallenged here, pronounced only 10 years ago, see ''Bowers v. Hardwick'', 478 U. S. 186 (1986), and places the prestige of this institution behind the proposition that opposition to homosexuality is as reprehensible as racial or religious bias. Whether it is or not is ''precisely'' the cultural debate that gave rise to the Colorado constitutional amendment (and to the preferential laws against which the amendment was directed.) Since the Constitution of the United States says nothing about this subject, it is left to be resolved by normal democratic means, including the democratic adoption of provisions in state constitutions. This Court has no business imposing upon all Americans the resolution favored by the elite class from which the Members of this institution are selected, pronouncing that &quot;animosity&quot; toward homosexuality, ''ante'', at 634, is evil. I vigorously dissent.
** [[Antonin Scalia]], author of the dissenting opinion in ''[[w:Romer v. Evans|Romer v. Evans]]'' (decided 20 May, 1996), 517 U.S. 620, 636, joined by Chief Justice William Rehnquist and Associate Justice Clarence Thomas

* If it is constitutionally permissible for a State to make homosexual conduct criminal, surely it is constitutionally permissible for a State to enact other laws merely ''disfavoring'' homosexual conduct... And ''a fortiori'' it is constitutionally permissible for a State to adopt a provision ''not even disfavoring'' homosexual conduct, but merely prohibiting all levels of state government from bestowing ''special protections'' upon homosexual conduct.
** [[Antonin Scalia]], author of the dissenting opinion in ''[[w:Romer v. Evans|Romer v. Evans]]'' (decided 20 May, 1996), 517 U.S. 620, 641, joined by Chief Justice William Rehnquist and Associate Justice Clarence Thomas

==T==

==U==

==V==

== W ==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1921_-_Boys_bathing_on_rocks.jpg|thumb|right|''Boys bathing on rocks'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
* Biological [[determinism]] works as a phenomenon that normalizes same-sex desire while leaving heterosexism in place and disenfranchising certain queer people from fully participating in an accurate articulation of their experiences in political and popular discourse.
** Shannon Weber, ''What's Wrong With Becoming Queer Biological Determinism as Discursive Queer Hegemony'', as quoted in ''Ages of the X-Men: Essays on the Children of the Atom in Changing Times'', &quot;Mutating Metaphors: Addressing the Limits of Biological Narratives of Sexuality&quot; by Christian Norman, p.170

==X==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1928-29_-_Aquamarine.jpg|thumb|right|''Aquamarine'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
*They sleep with their loved ones, yet stations them next to themselves in battle&amp;nbsp;... with them ([[w:Eleians|Eleians]], [[w:Thebans|Thebans]]) it's a custom, with us a disgrace&amp;nbsp;... placing your loved one next to you seems to be a sign of distrust&amp;nbsp;... The [[w:Sparta|Sparta]]ns&amp;nbsp;... make our loved ones such models of perfection that even if stationed with foreigners rather than with their lovers they are ashamed to desert their companion.
** [[Xenophon]], ''[[w:Symposium (Xenophon)|Symposium]]'' 8.34–5

==Y==
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1917_-_Under_the_western_sun.jpg|thumb|right|''Under the western sun'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
* Citizens with this kind of homosexual inclination, who renounce women and can do without them willingly because they love one another, get married together, bound by a deep and trusting friendship.
** Yashodhara, ''Jayamangala'' (twelfth-century commentary on the [[Kama Sutra]]), in ''Tritiya-Prakriti: People of the Third Sex'' (2010), p. 22

==Z==

=== Sexual Behavior in the Human Male  (1948) ===
&lt;small&gt; Alfred C. Kinsey, Wardell R. Pomeroy, and Clyde E. Martin;  “Sexual Behavior in the Human Male”, Philadelphia Pa: W.B. Saunders: 1948: 610-666; asquoted in [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1447861/ Am J Public Health. 2003 June; 93(6): 894–898] &lt;/small&gt;
* [A] CONSIDERABLE PORTION OF THE population, perhaps the major portion of the male population, has at least some homosexual experience between adolescence and old age. In addition, about 60 per cent of the pre-adolescent boys engage in homosexual activities, and there is an additional group of adult males who avoid overt contacts but who are quite aware of their potentialities for reacting to other males. &lt;br&gt; The social significance of the homosexual is considerably emphasized by the fact that both Jewish and Christian churches have considered this aspect of human sexuality to be abnormal and immoral. Social custom and our AngloAmerican law are sometimes very severe in penalizing one who is discovered to have had homosexual relations. . . . &lt;br&gt; It is, therefore, peculiarly difficult to secure factual data concerning the nature and the extent of the homosexual in Western European or American cultures, and even more difficult to find strictly objective presentations of such data as are available. . . . &lt;br&gt; Until the extent of any type of human behavior is adequately known, it is difficult to assess its significance, either to the individuals who are involved or to society as a whole; and until the extent of the homosexual is known, it is practically impossible to understand its biologic or social origins. It is one thing if we are dealing with a type of activity that is unusual, without precedent among other animals, and restricted to peculiar types of individuals within the human population. It is another thing if the phenomenon proves to be a fundamental part, not only of human sexuality, but of mammalian patterns as a whole.
* For nearly a century the term homosexual in connection with human behavior has been applied to sexual relations, either overt or psychic, between individuals of the same sex. Derived from the Greek root homo rather than from the Latin word for man, the term emphasizes the sameness of the two individuals who are involved in a sexual relation. The word is, of course, patterned after and intended to represent the antithesis of the word heterosexual, which applies to a relation between individuals of different sexes. . . . &lt;br&gt; It is amazing to observe how many psychologists and psychiatrists have . . . come to believe that homosexual males and females are discretely different from persons who merely have homosexual experience, or who react sometimes to homosexual stimuli. Sometimes such an interpretation allows for only two kinds of males and two kinds of females, namely those who are heterosexual and those who are homosexual. But as subsequent data . . . will show, there is only about half of the male population whose sexual behavior is exclusively heterosexual, and there are a few percent who are exclusively homosexual. Any restriction of the term homosexuality to individuals who are exclusively so demands, logically, that the term heterosexual be applied only to those individuals who are exclusively heterosexual; and this makes no allowance for the nearly half of the population which has had sexual contacts with, or reacted psychically to, individuals of their own as well as of the opposite sex. Actually, of course, one must learn to recognize every combination of heterosexuality and homosexuality in the histories of various individuals. &lt;br&gt; It would encourage clearer thinking on these matters if persons were not characterized as heterosexual or homosexual, but as individuals who have had certain amounts of heterosexual experience and certain amounts of homosexual experience. Instead of using these terms as substantives which stand for persons, or even as adjectives to describe persons, they may better be used to describe the nature of the overt sexual relations, or of the stimuli to which an individual erotically responds.
* The statistics given throughout this volume on the incidence of homosexual activity, and the statistics to be given in the present section of this chapter, are based on those persons who have had physical contacts with other males, and who were brought to orgasm as a result of such contacts. By any strict definition such contacts are homosexual, irrespective of the extent of the psychic stimulation involved, of the techniques employed, or of the relative importance of the homosexual and the heterosexual in the history of such an individual. These are not data on the number of persons who are “homosexual,” but on the number of persons who have had at least some homosexual experience. . . . &lt;br&gt; In these terms (of physical contact to the point of orgasm), the data in the present study indicate that at least 37 percent of the male population has some homosexual experience between the beginning of adolescence and old age. This is more than one male in three of the persons that one may meet as he passes along a city street. Among the males who remain unmarried until the age of 35, almost exactly 50 per cent have homosexual experience between the beginning of adolescence and that age. . . . These figures are, of course, considerably higher than any which have previously been estimated. . . . &lt;br&gt; We ourselves were totally unprepared to find such incidence data when this research was originally undertaken. Over a period of several years we were repeatedly assailed with doubts as to whether we were getting a fair cross section of the total population or whether a selection of cases was biasing the results. It has been our experience, however, that each new group into which we have gone has provided substantially the same data. Whether the histories were taken in one large city or another, whether they were taken in large cities, in small towns, or in rural areas, whether they came from one college or from another, a church school or a state university or some private institution, whether they came from one part of the country or from another, the incidence data on the homosexual have been more or less the same. . . .
* Concerning patterns of sexual behavior, a great deal of the thinking done by scientists and laymen alike stems from the assumption that there are persons who are “heterosexual” and persons who are “homosexual,” that these two types represent antitheses in the sexual world, and that there is only an insignificant class of “bisexuals” who occupy an intermediate position between the other groups. It is implied that every individual is innately—inherently—either heterosexual or homosexual. It is further implied that from the time of birth one is fated to be one thing or the other, and that there is little chance for one to change his pattern in the course of a lifetime. &lt;br&gt; It is quite generally believed that one’s preference for a sexual partner of one or the other sex is correlated with various physical and mental qualities, and with the total personality which makes a homosexual male or female physically, psychically, and perhaps spiritually distinct from a heterosexual individual. It is generally thought that these qualities make a homosexual person obvious and recognizable to any one who has a sufficient understanding of such matters. Even psychiatrists discuss “the homosexual personality” and many of them believe that preferences for sexual partners of a particular sex are merely secondary manifestations of something that lies much deeper in the totality of that intangible which they call the personality. . . .
* The histories which have been available in the present study make it apparent that the heterosexuality or homosexuality of many individuals is not an all-or-none proposition. It is true that there are persons in the population whose histories are exclusively heterosexual, both in regard to their overt experience and in regard to their psychic reactions. And there are individuals in the population whose histories are exclusively homosexual, both in experience and in psychic reactions. But the record also shows that there is a considerable portion of the population whose members have combined, within their individual histories, both homosexual and heterosexual experience and/or psychic responses. There are some whose heterosexual experiences predominate, there are some whose homosexual experiences predominate, there are some who have had quite equal amounts of both types of experience. . . .&lt;br&gt; Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats. Not all things are black nor all things white. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories. Only the human mind invents categories and tries to force facts into separated pigeon-holes. The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects. The sooner we learn this concerning human sexual behavior the sooner we shall reach a sound understanding of the realities of sex. . . .
* In view of the data which we now have on the incidence and frequency of the homosexual, and in particular on its co-existence with the heterosexual in the lives of a considerable portion of the male population, it is difficult to maintain the view that psychosexual reactions between individuals of the same sex are rare and therefore abnormal or unnatural, or that they constitute within themselves evidence of neuroses or even psychoses. . . . &lt;br&gt; The very general occurrence of the homosexual in ancient Greece, and its wide occurrence today in some cultures in which such activity is not as taboo as it is in our own, suggests that the capacity of an individual to respond erotically to any sort of stimulus, whether it is provided by another person of the same or of the opposite sex, is basic in the species. That patterns of heterosexuality and patterns of homosexuality represent learned behavior which depends, to a considerable degree, upon the mores of the particular culture in which the individual is raised, is a possibility that must be thoroughly considered before there can be any acceptance of the idea that homosexuality is inherited, and that the pattern for each individual is so innately fixed that no modification of it may be expected within his lifetime. . . .
* Social reactions to the homosexual have obviously been based on the general belief that a deviant individual is unique and as such needs special consideration. When it is recognized that the particular boy who is discovered in homosexual relations in school, the business man who is having such activity, and the institutional inmate with a homosexual record, are involved in behavior that is not fundamentally different from that had by a fourth to a third of all of the rest of the population, the activity of the single individual acquires a somewhat different social significance. . . . &lt;br&gt; The difficulty of the situation becomes still more apparent when it is realized that these generalizations concerning the incidence and frequency of homosexual activity apply in varying degrees to every social level, to persons in every occupation, and of every age in the community. The police force and court officials who attempt to enforce the sex laws, the clergymen and business men and every other group in the city which periodically calls for enforcement of the laws—particularly the laws against sexual “perversion”—have given a record of incidences and frequencies in the homosexual which are as high as those of the rest of the social level to which they belong. It is not a matter of the individual hypocrisy which leads officials with homosexual histories to become prosecutors of the homosexual activity in the community. They themselves are the victims of the mores, and the public demand that they protect those mores. As long as there are such gaps between the traditional custom and the actual behavior of the population, such inconsistencies will continue to exist. . . .
* The homosexual has been a significant part of human sexual activity ever since the dawn of history, primarily because it is an expression of capacities that are basic in the human animal.

=== &quot;The Construction of Homosexuality&quot; (December 9, 1988) ===
&lt;small&gt; [https://books.google.com/books?isbn=022621981X &quot;The Construction of Homosexuality&quot;], David F. Greenberg, ''University of Chicago Press'', (December 9, 1988) &lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Jupiter and Kallisto by Francois Boucher.jpg|thumb|right|''Jupiter and Kallisto'' by Francois Boucher]]
[[File:Henry_Scott_Tuke_-_A_Holiday,_1921.jpg|thumb|right|''A Holiday'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
[[File:Jupiter, in the Guise of Diana, and Callisto by François Boucher.jpg|thumb|right|]]
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1911_-_Bathing_group_(Noonday_heat).jpg|thumb|right|''Bathing group (Noonday heat)'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
[[File:Les Deux Amies by Lagrenee.jpg|thumb|right|''Les Deux Amies'' by Lagrenee]]
* Male homosexual prostitution having religious significance was an institutionalized feature of the archaic civilizations of the [[Mediterranean]]. Most authorities think it was practiced in the [[w:Temple of Solomon|Temple of Solomon]] in [[Jerusalem]], as well as in the worship of neighboring peoples. Yet a few scholars have expressed skepticism.
** p.94.

* One would hardly expect to see instituionalized male transgenerational homosexuality of the [[w:Melanesia|Melanesian]] variety (described in chapter 2) in the archaic civilizations. The conditions that seem to give rise to it in Melanesia do not exist in the early civilizations. With the pacification of an extended territory, wives are no longer taken from enemy villages, and marriage is not arranged through sister exchange between cross-cousins. &lt;br&gt; Yet ritualized, transgenerational male homosexuality was a part of early [[Greek]] culture. Dominated from the time of the [[Dorian invasion|Dorian invasion]] (c. 1200 B.C.) by powerful, culturally conservative noble families, the eastern part of [[Crete]] kept up ancient customs well into historical times. One of these customs was an initiation rite for aristocratic youths that bears remarkable resemblance to tribal rituals. Boys were taken from their mothers by kouretes (armed male dancers). Under the auspices of the pre-Olympian Mother Goddess cult of Rhea and Zeus, the boys were cleansed of maternal contamination and reborn as men. A men's house figured in the ceremonies, and bull roarers (devices widely used in tribal rituals to simulate the sound of bulls or thunder) were used to terrify the initiates.
** pp.106-107

* [[Sparta]], too, institutionalized relations between mature men and adolescent boys, as well as between adult women and girls, and gave them a pedagogical focus. The few accounts we have, all written by foreigners, do not claim that the relationships were a part of initiation rites, but the Spartans were secretive about their institutions, and strangers would not necessarily have learned the details. However, many aspects of Spartan homosexuality and marriage customs point to tribal origins. Participation was mandatory for all youths of good character. There were ordeals - a common feature of tribal initiation. At their conclusion, all boys in the same-age grade had to marry - as in many tribes. Even after marriage, men lived in men's houses, not with their wives. Wives and male lovers were shared with age-mates. Like Crete, from whom the Greeks believed Spartan institutions were borrowed, Sparta preserved ancient customs that had disappeared in other city-states.
** p.107

* Aristocratic warrior societies do seem have had extensive male homosexuality, which was completely accepted. Archeological evidence shows that c. 500 B.C., when they were founding the La Tene culture in [[France]] and the northern part of [[Switzerland]], large numbers of [[Celts]] were armed for military raids of looting. Their political organization took the form of decentralized chiefdoms, with patron-client relationships linking aristocrats and commoners. According to Artistotle, the Celts esteemed homosexuality. Writing in the first century B.C., Diodorus Siculus found Celtic women charming, and every indicator of their social status suggests that it was quite high. Nevertheless, he added,&lt;blockquote&gt;The men are much keener on their own sex; they lie around on animal skins and enjoy themselves, with a lover one each side. The extraordinary thing is they haven’t the smallest regard for their personal dignity or self-respect; they offer themselves to other men without the least compunction. Furthermore, this isn’t looked down on, or regarded as in any way disgraceful: on the contrary, if one of them is rejected by another to whom he has offered himself, he takes offence.&lt;/blockquote&gt; Evidence that the Celtic love of warriors may have extended to the British Isles (which the Celts invaded c. 200 B.C.) can be found in the Irish saga ''Tain Bo Caulinge''. The hero Cuchulain explains that he does not want to fight his foster brother and former comrade in arms Ferdia: 
** p.111

* Class-structured homosexuality appears with the dawn of economic stratification. Here the two partners are drawn from different economic strata or classes, the wealthier partner purchasing or commanding the sexual services of the poorer. The partners may differ in age, gender, or preference for particular types of contact, but these differences do not define the relationship. What does is the preference of the wealthier partner. Thus Captain Blight, visiting Tahiti in the late eighteenth century, observed a chief sucking the penis of his attendant. By the usual conventions linking rank and sex role, this transaction should not have occurred. The attendant should have been sucking the chief. However, the chief occupied a social position that enabled him to gratify his personal preference irrespective of conventions about homosexual roles. In societies were social relations are commercialized wealth bestows sexual power. &lt;br&gt; Two forms of homosexuality are particularly common in antiquity: prostitution and intercourse with slaves.
** p.117

* One of the Spanish sources, Bartolome de las Casas, writing in 1542, reported that [[Mayan]] parents supplied their adolescent sons with boys to use as sexual outlets before marriage, but that if someone else sodomized them, the penalty was equal to that for rape. Since de las Casas denied the existence of homosexuality in some other Indian groups, his attribution of homosexuality to the Mayans cannot be attributed to a blanket prejudice against Indians. Other missionaries also reported widespread male homosexuality among the Mayans. Young Mayan men lived in men's houses until they married at about age twenty.

* Father Pierre de Gand, also known as de Mura, found sodomy to be virtually universal among the [[Aztecs]], involving even children as young as six. Cortez also found sodomy to be widespread among the Aztec's, and admonished them to give it up-along with human sacrifices and cannibalism.
** p.164

* Some of the people who made up the [[Inca]] empire also had institutionalized homosexuality. This includes the Yauyos, who had &quot;public houses filled with men who dressed as women and painted their faces,&quot; the Liysacas of Lake Chucuito, and Indians in the vicinity of Puerto Viejo in the north (now Ecuador) and on the island of Puna. In some parts of the empire, boys were dedicated to the temple, where they were raised as girls; chiefs and headmen had ritual intercourse with them on special holidays. The Inca princes themselves, however, did not engage in these practices.
** p. 165

* That the harshness of Inca and Aztec legislation toward homosexuality involved more than a reaction to indigenous berdaches is suggested by the equally severe penalties imposed on other violations of morals legislation. The Incas punished pimps and prostitutes severely, by death if the offense was repeated. Incest and adultery were capital offenses in both empires. Drunkeness was illegal under the Incas and a capital offense under the Aztecs. Abortion was also a capital offense under the Aztecs. Aztec youths lost their rights to land if they did not marry by a certain age. Inca men were also forced to marry.
** p.167

* Ever since the sixteenth century, Western visitors have commented on the pervasiveness of [[Turkish]] pederasty. Large numbers of boys were captured or purchased for personal use, placed in brothels, or resold; the demand for them struck all observers as remarkable.
** p.179

* Burton found the cities of [[Afghan]] to be &quot;saturated with the Persian vice&quot; at the end of the ninteenth century. Afghan merchants were invariably, &quot;accompanied by a number of boys and lads almost in woman's attire with kohl'd eyes and rouged cheeks, log tresses and henna's fingers and toes, riding luxuriously in Kajawas or camelpanniers. They are called Kuch-i safari or traveling wives, and the husbands tridge patiently by their sides. &lt;br&gt; Male homosexuality remains common in Afghanistan, as does harem lesbianism.
** p.180

* The Moslem rulers of [[India]] often maintained youthful male lovers, and male brothels flourished. Burton visited a number of them in 1845. &lt;br&gt; At first glance, the early Mongols appear to have been an exception to the broad pattern. The ''Great Yassa'', a law code issued by Ghenghiz Khan or at his death for the still-pagan Mongol tribes around 1219, to supplement Mongolian customary law, mandated the death penalty for both sodomites and adulterers. This is not what one would expect in a tribe of nomadic pastoralists with a shamanistic religion. It seems likely that this severe penalty reflects the influence of Christians, Jews, or Moslems, to whom Ghengiz extended hospitality. Ghenghiz was himself illiterate, and might well have called on a literate foreigner to prepare a code of laws.  
** p.181

* [[Zoroastrianism]], founded in [[Iran]] at an unknown date by the prophet Zoroaster (Zarathura) who reformed the old Aryan religion on, took a far harsher view of homosexuality. The subject is not mentioned in the Gathas (the earliest known Zoroastrian scriptures), which are  attributed directly to Zoroaster. However, the later ''Vendidad'', or ''Code Against the Devas'', which contains much of the Zoroastrian moral teaching, places sodomites among the ranks of those who may be killed on the spot, along with brigands, burners of carrion in a fire, and criminals taken in the act. Later texts, from the ninth century A.D., continue to regard homosexuality as heinous.
** p.186

* Perhaps more to the point, the severe penances for homosexual offenses are matched in a number of the [[w:Penetentials|penitentials]] by equally severe penances for heterosexual sins. Thus the Irish ''Penitential of Cummean'' calls for seven years' penance for men guilty of habitual homosexual practices (less for a first offense) and seven years' penance for heterosexual adultery. The book of ecclesiastical discipline issued by Region of Prum specifies a penalty of three years for anal intercourse whether the anus is that of a male or a female and also three years for heterosexual fornication. Similarly, the ''Book of David'' (c. 500-525) states that those who have committed fornication with a woman who hass been vowed to Christ or a husband, or with a beast or a male &quot;for the remainder of their lived dead to the world shall live unto God&quot; - presumably in perpetual encloisterment. The ''Penitential of Theodore'' requires three years' penance if a woman practices vice with another woman - or with herself and also demands equal maximum penalties of fifteen years in cases of heterosexual or homosexual fornication.
** p.264-265

* Beginning in the mid-thirteenth century, French secular legislation adopted stiff new measures against homosexual relations. ''Li livres de jostice et de Plet'', probably written around 1260 in Orleans, called for the amputation of the testicles of first-time offenders, the removal of the penis for a second offense, and burning of third-time offenders. Women were to be mutilated for the first two offenses and burned for a third. 
* In addition to this body of national legislation, starting in the mid-twelfth century, the self governing towns of northern Italy, northern France, Flanders, and the Rhine Valley began to enact municipal statutes dealing with sodomy. Many of the laws, such as that adopted in Perugia in 1342, provided fines for first and second offenses and execution by burning for third-timers. Amputation of hands or feet, exile and confiscation of goods were common provisions. &lt;br&gt; With time, penalties began to escalate. In a law of 1250, the first statute known to deal with homosexuality, Bologna permitted men banished from the city because of a sodomy conviction to pay a fine and return, but in 1259, banishment was made permanent. Later that year, sodomy was made a capital offense.
** p.272

== See also ==
{{col-begin}}
{{col-2}}
* [[Bisexuality]]
* [[Gay men]]
* [[Gender]]
* [[Heterosexuality]]
* [[Lesbian]]
{{col-2}}
* [[LGBT]]
* [[LGBT in Islam]]
* [[LGBT rights]]
* [[Queer]]
* [[Sexuality]]
{{col-end}}

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Wiktionary|homosexuality}}

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[[Image:Unico Anello.png|244px|thumb|right|We cannot use the Ruling Ring. That we now know too well. It belongs to Sauron and was made by him alone, and is altogether evil.]]
:''For quotes from the movie adaptations, see ''[[The Lord of the Rings (movies)|The Lord of the Rings]]'' movie trilogy.''
----
'''''[[w:The Fellowship of the Ring (book)|The Fellowship of the Ring]]''''' (1954); first of three volumes in ''[[The Lord of the Rings]]'' books by [[J. R. R. Tolkien]]. It contains ''Book I: The Ring Sets Out'' and ''Book II: The Ring Goes South''.

==Book I==

===A Long-expected Party===

* When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton.
**First sentence

* I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
**[[w:Bilbo Baggins|Bilbo's]] farewell speech

*  ''The Road goes ever on and on &lt;br&gt; Down from the door where it began. &lt;br&gt; Now far ahead the Road has gone, &lt;br&gt; And I must follow, if I can, &lt;br&gt; Pursuing it with eager feet, &lt;br&gt; Until it joins some larger way &lt;br&gt; Where many paths and errands meet. &lt;br&gt; And whither then? I cannot say.''

* 'It was a compliment,' said Merry Brandybuck, 'and so, of course, not true.'

===The Shadow of the Past===
[[File:The one ring animated.gif|thumb|right|One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,&lt;br&gt; One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.]]
* ''Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky, &lt;br&gt;Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,&lt;br&gt;Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,&lt;br&gt;One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne &lt;br&gt;In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie. &lt;br&gt; '''One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,&lt;br&gt; One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them''' &lt;br&gt; In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.''
**In the story this is a translation of a verse in the [[w:Black Speech|Black Speech]].

* 'You say the ring is dangerous, far more dangerous than I guess. In what way?'&lt;br /&gt;'In many ways,' answered the wizard. 'It is far more powerful than I ever dared to think at first, so powerful that in the end it would utterly overcome anyone of mortal race who possessed it. It would possess him.'
** [[w:Frodo Baggins|Frodo]] and [[w:Gandalf|Gandalf]]

* 'Sooner or later, if he is strong or well-meaning to begin with, but neither strength nor good purpose will last. Sooner or later the Dark Power will devour him.'
** Gandalf

* He thought the ring was very beautiful, and very useful at need; and if anything was wrong or queer, it was himself. He said that it was &quot;growing on his mind&quot;, and he was always worrying about it; but he did not suspect that the ring itself was to blame.
** Gandalf

* 'I wish it need not have happened in my time,' said Frodo.&lt;br&gt; 'So do I,' said Gandalf, 'and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. '''All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.''''

* 'What a pity that Bilbo did not stab that vile creature, when he had a chance!' &lt;br /&gt; 'Pity? It was Pity that stayed his hand. Pity, and Mercy: not to strike without need. And he has been well rewarded, Frodo. Be sure that he took so little hurt from the evil, and escaped in the end, because he began his ownership of the Ring so. With Pity.'
** Frodo and Gandalf

* '''Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.''' I have not much hope that Gollum can be cured before he dies, but there is a chance of it. And he is bound up with the fate of the Ring. '''My heart tells me that he has some part to play yet, for good or ill, before the end'''; and when that comes, the pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many – yours not least. 
** Gandalf

* 'You are wise and powerful. Will you not take the Ring?’&lt;br/&gt;'No!' cried Gandalf, springing to his feet. 'With that power I should have power too great and terrible. And over me the Ring would gain a power still greater and more deadly.' His eyes flashed and his face was lit as by a fire within. ''''Do not tempt me!''' For I do not wish to become like the Dark Lord himself. Yet the way of the Ring to my heart is by pity, pity for weakness and the desire of strength to do good. Do not tempt me! I dare not take it, not even to keep it safe, unused. The wish to wield it would be too great for my strength. I shall have such need of it. Great perils lie before me.'

=== Three is Company===

* He used often to say there was only one Road; that it was like a great river: its springs were at every doorstep, and every path was its tributary. &quot;It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door,&quot; he used to say. &quot;You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to.&quot;
** [[w:Frodo Baggins|Frodo]], of [[w:Bilbo Baggins|Bilbo]]

* I don't know, and I would rather not guess.
** Frodo

* ''Still round the corner there may wait &lt;br&gt; A new road or a secret gate, &lt;br&gt; And though we pass them by today, &lt;br&gt; Tomorrow we may come this way &lt;br&gt; And take the hidden paths that run &lt;br&gt; Towards the Moon or to the Sun.''

* But it is not your own Shire. Others dwelt here before hobbits were; and others will dwell here again when hobbits are no more. The wide world is all about you: you can fence yourselves in, but you cannot for ever fence it out.
** [[w:Gildor Inglorion|Gildor]]

* Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.
** Gildor

* Go not to the Elves for counsel, for they will say both no and yes.
** Frodo

*...Seldom give unguarded advice, for advice is a dangerous gift, even from the wise to the wise, and all courses may run ill.
** Gildor

* 'But where shall I find courage?' asked Frodo. 'Courage is found in unlikely places,' said Gildor. 'Be of good hope! Sleep now!'
** Frodo and Gildor

=== A Short Cut to Mushrooms ===

* 'They seem a bit above my likes and dislikes, so to speak,' answered Sam slowly. 'It don't seem to matter what I think about them. They are quite different from what I expected – so old and young, and so gay and sad, as it were.'
** [[w:Samwise Gamgee|Sam]] speaking of the Elves.

* 'Short cuts make delays, but inns make longer ones.'
** [[w:Frodo|Frodo]]

* ''Ho! Ho! Ho! to the bottle I go&lt;br&gt; To heal my heart and drown my woe.&lt;br&gt; Rain may fall and wind may blow,&lt;br&gt; And many miles be still to go,&lt;br&gt; But under a tall tree I will lie,&lt;br&gt; And let the clouds go sailing by.''
** Sam and Pippin

===A Conspiracy Unmasked===
* 'Sam is an excellent fellow, and would jump down a dragon's throat to save you, if he did not trip over his own feet.'
** Said by Pippin

===In the House of Tom Bombadil===

* 'Tell me, who are you, alone, yourself and nameless?'
** [[w:Tom Bombadil|Tom Bombadil]] to Frodo.

* 'Eldest, that's what I am. Mark my words, my friends: Tom was here before the river and the trees; Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn. He made paths before the Big People, and saw the little People arriving. He was here before the Kings and the graves and the Barrow-wights. When the Elves passed westward, Tom was here already, before the seas were bent. He knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless – before the Dark Lord came from Outside.'
** Tom Bombadil

* There were fortresses on the heights. Kings of little kingdoms fought together, and the young Sun shone like fire on the red metal of their new and greedy swords. There was victory and defeat; and towers fell, fortresses were burned, and flames went up into the sky. Gold was piled on the biers of dead kings and queens; and mounds covered them, and the stone doors were shut; and the grass grew over all.

* There's earth under his old feet, and clay on his fingers; wisdom in his bones, and both his eyes are open.
** Tom Bombadil, speaking of Farmer Maggot

* Ho! Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadilo! &lt;br&gt; By water, wood and hill, by reed and willow, &lt;br&gt; By fire, sun and moon, harken now and hear us! &lt;br&gt; Come, Tom Bombadil, for our need is near us!

*Then Tom put the Ring round the end of his little finger and held it up to the candlelight. For a moment the hobbits noticed nothing strange about this. Then they gasped. There was no sign of Tom disappearing!
**Fellowship

=== Fog on the Barrow-Downs===

* That night they heard no noises. But either in his dreams or out of them, he could not tell which, Frodo heard a sweet singing running in his mind: a song that seemed to come like a pale light behind a grey rain-curtain, and growing stronger to turn the veil all to glass and silver, until at last it was rolled back, and a far green country opened before him under a swift sunrise.

* Cold be hand and heart and bone, &lt;br&gt; and cold be sleep under stone: &lt;br&gt; never more to wake on stony bed. &lt;br&gt; never, till the Sun fails and the Moon is dead. &lt;br&gt; In the black wind the stars shall die, &lt;br&gt; and till on gold here let them lie, &lt;br&gt; till the dark lord lofts his hand &lt;br&gt; over dead sea and withered land.

* There is a seed of courage hidden (often deeply, it is true) in the heart of the fattest and most timid hobbit, waiting for some final and desperate danger to make it grow.
 
* &lt;i&gt; Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow, &lt;br&gt; Bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow. &lt;br&gt; None has ever caught him yet, for Tom, he is the master: &lt;br&gt; His songs are stronger songs, and his feet are faster.&lt;/i&gt;

=== Strider===

* &lt;i&gt;'''All that is gold does not glitter, &lt;br&gt; Not all those who wander are lost'''; &lt;br&gt; The old that is strong does not wither, &lt;br&gt; Deep roots are not reached by the frost. &lt;br&gt; '''From the ashes a fire shall be woken, &lt;br&gt; A light from the shadows shall spring; &lt;br&gt; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, &lt;br&gt; The crownless again shall be king.'''&lt;/i&gt;

=== A Knife in the Dark===

* &lt;i&gt;Gil-galad was an Elven-king. &lt;br&gt; Of him the harpers sadly sing: &lt;br&gt; the last whose realm was fair and free &lt;br&gt; between the Mountains and the Sea. &lt;br&gt; &lt;br&gt; His sword was long, his lance was keen, &lt;br&gt; his shining helm afar was seen; &lt;br&gt; the countless stars of heaven's field &lt;br&gt; were mirrored in his silver shield. &lt;br&gt; &lt;br&gt; But long ago he rode away, &lt;br&gt; and where he dwelleth none can say; &lt;br&gt; for into darkness fell his star &lt;br&gt; in Mordor where the shadows are.&lt;/i&gt;

==Book II==

=== Many Meetings===
* He is not half through yet, and to what he will come in the end not even Elrond can foretell. Not to evil, I think. He may become like a glass filled with a clear light for eyes to see that can.
** [[w:Gandalf|Gandalf]] to himself, of [[w:Frodo Baggins|Frodo]]

* But all such places will soon become islands under siege, if things go on as they are going. The Dark Lord is putting forth all his strength.
** Gandalf to Frodo

* I am sorry: sorry you have come in for this burden; sorry about everything. Don't adventures ever have an end? I suppose not. Someone else always has to carry on the story.
** [[w:Bilbo Baggins|Bilbo]] to Frodo

* Time doesn't seem to pass here: it just is.
** Bilbo to Frodo, of Rivendell

=== The Council of Elrond===
[[File:Flag of Mordor.svg|thumb|right|If any of the Wise should with this Ring overthrow the Lord of Mordor, using his own arts, he would then set himself on Sauron's throne, and yet another Dark Lord would appear...]]
[[File:Fomalhaut_B_entire-Hubble_Telescope.jpg|thumb|right|The only measure that he knows is desire, desire for power; and so he judges all hearts. Into his heart the thought will not enter that any will refuse it, that having the Ring we may seek to destroy it. If we seek this, we shall put him out of reckoning.]]

*{{anchor|blood of the Númenoreans}}...in the wearing of the swift years of Middle-earth the line of [[b:Guide to The Lord of the Rings/Characters/Miscellaneous#M|Meneldil]] son of [[b:Guide to The Lord of the Rings/Characters/Miscellaneous#A|Anárion]] failed, and [[c:File:Blason Gondor.svg|the Tree]] withered, and the blood of the [[w:Númenor|Númenoreans]] became mingled with that of lesser men. Then the watch upon the walls of [[w:Mordor|Mordor]] slept, and dark things crept back to [[w:Gorgoroth (Middle-earth)|Gorgoroth]]. And on a time evil things came forth, and they took Minas Ithil and abode in it, and they made it into a place of dread; and it is called [[w:List of fictional castles#Tolkien-universe|Minas Morgul]], the Tower of Sorcery.
** [[w:Elrond|Elrond]]

* ''Seek for the Sword that was broken:&lt;br&gt;In Imladris it dwells;&lt;br&gt;There shall be counsels taken&lt;br&gt;Stronger than Morgul-spells.&lt;br&gt;There shall be shown a token&lt;br&gt;That Doom is near at hand,&lt;br&gt;For Isildur's Bane shall waken,&lt;br&gt;And the Halfling forth shall stand.''

* Many evil things there are that your strong walls and bright swords do not stay. You know little of the lands beyond your bounds. Peace and freedom, do you say? The North would have known them little but for us.
** [[w:Aragorn|Aragorn]]

* And yet less thanks have we than you. Travellers scowl at us, and countrymen give us scornful names. 'Strider' I am to one fat man who lives within a day's march of foes that would freeze his heart, or lay his little town in ruin, if he were not guarded ceaselessly. Yet we would not have it otherwise. If simple folk are free from care and fear, simple they will be, and we must be secret to keep them so.
** Aragorn

* '''He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.'''
** [[w:Gandalf|Gandalf]] to [[w:Saruman|Saruman]]

* It is perilous to study too deeply the arts of the Enemy, for good or for ill. But such falls and betrayals, alas, have happened before.
** [[w:Elrond|Elrond]], of Saruman

* I think that in the end, if all else is conquered, Bombadil will fall, Last as he was First; and then Night will come.
** [[w:Glorfindel|Glorfindel]]

* It is not our part here to take thought only for a season, or for a few lives of Men, or for a passing age of the world. We should seek a final end of this menace, even if we do not hope to make one.
** [[w:Gandalf|Gandalf]]

* '''We must take a hard road, a road unforeseen. There lies our hope, if hope it be. To walk into peril – to Mordor. We must send the Ring to the Fire.'''
**  [[w:Elrond|Elrond]]

* We cannot use the Ruling Ring. That we now know too well. It belongs to Sauron and was made by him alone, and is altogether evil. Its strength, Boromir, is too great for anyone to wield at will, save only those who have already a great power of their own. But for them it holds an even deadlier peril. The very desire of it corrupts the heart.
**  [[w:Elrond|Elrond]]

* '''If any of the Wise should with this Ring overthrow the Lord of Mordor, using his own arts, he would then set himself on Sauron's throne, and yet another Dark Lord would appear.''' And that is another reason why the Ring should be destroyed: as long as it is in the world it will be a danger even to the Wise. For nothing is evil in the beginning. Even Sauron was not so. I fear to take the Ring to hide it. I will not take the Ring to wield it.
**  [[w:Elrond|Elrond]]

* Despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt. We do not.
** Gandalf

* Let folly be our cloak, a veil before the eyes of the Enemy! For he is very wise, and weighs all things to a nicety in the scales of his malice. But '''the only measure that he knows is desire, desire for power; and so he judges all hearts. Into his heart the thought will not enter that any will refuse it, that having the Ring we may seek to destroy it. If we seek this, we shall put him out of reckoning.'''
** Gandalf

* This quest may be attempted by the weak with as much hope as the strong. '''Yet such is oft the course of deeds that move the wheels of the world: small hands do them because they must, while the eyes of the great are elsewhere.'''
**  [[w:Elrond|Elrond]]

* I had thought of putting: ''and he lived happily ever afterwards to the end of his days.'' It is a good ending, and none the worse for having been used before. Now I shall have to alter that: it does not look like coming true.
** [[w:Bilbo Baggins|Bilbo]]

* ''''I will take the Ring,' he said, 'though I do not know the way.''''
** [[w:Frodo Baggins|Frodo]]

* This is the hour of the Shire-folk, when they arise from their quiet fields to shake the towers and counsels of the Great. Who of all the Wise could have foreseen it? Or, if they are wise, why should they expect to know it, until the hour has struck?
**  [[w:Elrond|Elrond]]

=== The Ring Goes South===

* ''''Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens''',' said Gimli. &lt;br&gt; 'Maybe,' said Elrond, 'but let him not vow to walk in the dark, who has not seen the nightfall.' &lt;br&gt; 'Yet sworn word may strengthen quaking heart,' said Gimli. &lt;br&gt; 'Or break it,' said Elrond.

=== A Journey in the Dark===

* At last Frodo spoke. 'I do not wish to go,' he said; 'but neither do I wish to refuse the advice of Gandalf. I beg that there should be no vote, until we have slept on it. Gandalf will get votes easier in the light of the morning than in this cold gloom. '''How the wind howls!''''&lt;br&gt;At these words all fell into silent thought. They heard the wind hissing among the rocks and trees, and there was a howling and wailing round them in the empty spaces of the night.&lt;p&gt;Suddenly Aragorn leapt to his feet. ''''How the wind howls!'''' he cried. ''''It is howling with wolf-voices. The Wargs have come west of the Mountains!''''

=== The Bridge of Khazad-dûm===
[[File:Durin's Bane.jpg|thumbnail|You cannot pass. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of [[w:Minor_places_in_Arda#U|Udûn]]. Go back to the Shadow! You cannot pass.]]

* Well, well! That's over! I have done all that I could. But I have met my match, and have nearly been destroyed. But don't stand here! Go on!
** [[w:Gandalf|Gandalf]] following his brief, first confrontation with the [[w:Balrog|Balrog]] of [[w:Moria|Moria]] (having been blown down a flight of stairs)

* 'You cannot pass,' he said. The orcs stood still, and a dead silence fell. ''''I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You cannot pass. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of [[w:Minor_places_in_Arda#U|Udûn]]. Go back to the Shadow! You cannot pass.''''
** Gandalf confronting the [[w:Balrog|Balrog]] of [[w:Moria|Moria]]

* With a terrible cry the Balrog fell forward, and its shadow plunged down and vanished. But even as it fell it swung its whip, and the thongs lashed and curled about the wizard's knees, dragging him to the brink. He staggered and fell, grasped vainly at the stone, and slid into the abyss. ''''Fly, you fools!'''' he cried, and was gone.
** Gandalf falling into the chasm above which the Bridge of Khazad-dûm had stood

=== Lothlórien===

* In nothing is the power of the Dark Lord more clearly shown than in the estrangement that divides all those who still oppose him.
** [[w:Haldir|Haldir]]

* '''The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.''' 
** Haldir to the Fellowship

* I thought that Elves were all for moon and stars: but this is more elvish than anything I ever heard tell of. I feel as if I was ''inside'' a song, if you take my meaning.
** [[w:Samwise Gamgee|Sam]], to [[w:Frodo Baggins|Frodo]]

* As Frodo prepared to follow him, he laid his hand upon the tree beside the ladder: never before had he been so suddenly and so keenly aware of the feel and texture of a tree's skin and of the life within it. He felt a delight in wood and the touch of it, neither as forester nor as carpenter; it was the delight of the living tree itself.

===The Mirror of Galadriel===
[[File:Lothlorien by Tessa Boronski.jpg|thumbnail|I pass the [[test]] … I will diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel.]]
* 'Speak no evil of the Lady Galadriel!' said Aragorn sternly. 'You know not what you say. There is in her and in this land no evil, unless a man bring it hither himself.'

* It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.
** Attributed by [[w:Samwise Gamgee|Sam]] to his &quot;old gaffer&quot;

* I will not give you counsel, saying do this, or do that. For not in doing or contriving, nor in choosing between this course and another, can I avail; but only in knowing what was and is, and in part also what shall be.
** [[w:Galadriel|Galadriel]]

* You may learn something, and whether what you see be fair or evil, that may be profitable, and yet it may not. Seeing is both good and perilous.
** Galadriel to [[w:Frodo Baggins|Frodo]]

* 'And what do you wish?' he said at last.&lt;br /&gt;'That what should be shall be,' she answered.
** Frodo and Galadriel

* I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired to ask what you offer. For many long years I had pondered what I might do, should the Great Ring come into my hands, and behold! it was brought within my grasp. The evil that was devised long ago works on in many ways, whether Sauron himself stands or falls. Would not that have been a noble deed to set to the credit of his Ring, if I had taken it by force or fear from my guest?&lt;br /&gt;'And now at last it comes. '''You will give me the Ring freely! In place of the Dark Lord you will set up a Queen. And I shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night! Fair as the Sea and the Sun and the Snow upon the Mountain! Dreadful as the Storm and the Lightning! Stronger than the foundations of the earth. All shall love me and despair!'''&lt;nowiki&gt;'&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;br /&gt;She lifted up her hand and from the ring that she wore there issued a great light that illumined her alone and left all else dark. She stood before Frodo seeming now tall beyond measurement, and beautiful beyond enduring, terrible and worshipful. Then she let her hand fall, and the light faded, and suddenly she laughed again, and lo! she was shrunken: a slender elf-woman, clad in simple white, whose gentle voice was soft and sad.&lt;br /&gt;''' 'I pass the test,' she said. 'I will diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel.' '''

* Did not Gandalf tell you that the rings give power according to the measure of each possessor? Before you could use that power you would need to become far stronger, and to train your will to the domination of others.
** Galadriel

=== Farewell to Lórien===

* Oft it may chance that old wives keep in memory word of things that once were needful for the wise to know.
** [[w:Celeborn|Celeborn]]

* It is said that the skill of the Dwarves is in their hands rather than in their tongues, yet that is not true of Gimli. For none have ever made to me a request so bold and yet so courteous...I do not foretell, for all foretelling is now vain: on the one hand lies darkness, and on the other only hope. But if hope should not fail, then I say to you, Gimli son of Glóin, that your hands shall flow with gold, and yet over you gold shall have no dominion.
** [[w:Galadriel|Galadriel]]

* 'Tell me, Legolas, why did I come on this Quest? Little did I know where the chief peril lay! Truly Elrond spoke, saying that we could not foresee what we might meet upon our road. Torment in the dark was the danger that I feared, and it did not hold me back. But I would not have come, had I known the danger of light and joy.'
** [[w:Gimli|Gimli]]

* 'Memory is not what the heart desires. That is only a mirror, be it clear as Kheled-zâram. Or so says the heart of Gimli the Dwarf. Elves may see things otherwise. Indeed I have heard that for them memory is more like to the waking world than to a dream. Not so for Dwarves.'
** Gimli

=== The Great River===

* 'Time does not tarry ever,' he said; 'but change and growth is not in all things and places alike. For the Elves the world moves, and it moves both very swift and very slow. Swift, because they themselves change little, and all else fleets by: it is a grief to them. Slow, because they do not count the running years, not for themselves. Yet beneath the Sun all things must wear to an end at last.'
**[[w:Legolas|Legolas]]

=== The Breaking of the Fellowship ===

* 'Whoa, Sam Gamgee!' he said aloud. 'Your legs are too short, so use your head!'

* It is no good trying to escape you. But I'm glad, Sam. I cannot tell you how glad. Come along! It is plain that we were meant to go together. We will go, and may the others find a safe road!
** [[w:Frodo|Frodo]]

==See also==
*'''''[[The Lord of the Rings]]''''' 
** '''''[[The Two Towers]]'''''
** '''''[[The Return of the King]]'''''
* '''''[[The Lord of the Rings (1978 film)|J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings]]'' (1978)
* '''''[[The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (film)|The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring]]''''' (2001)
*'''''[[The Silmarillion]]'''''
*'''''[[The Hobbit]]'''''

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.tolkien.co.uk/frame.asp HarperCollins: UK &amp; Worldwide Publishers]
* [http://www.houghtonmifflinbooks.com/features/lordoftheringstrilogy Houghton Mifflin: US Publisher]
* [http://www.lordoftherings.net Official Site of the Movie Trilogy]
* [http://www.apple.com/trailers/newline/fellowship_of_the_ring/index.html Movie Trailer for &quot;Fellowship of the Ring&quot;]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Fellowship of the Ring, The}}
[[Category:Fantasy books]]
[[Category:Works by J. R. R. Tolkien]]
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    <title>Finding Nemo</title>
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'''''[[w:Finding Nemo|Finding Nemo]]''''' is a 2003 American computer-animated film produced by [[w:Pixar|Pixar Animation Studios]] for [[w:Walt Disney Pictures|Walt Disney Pictures]] on May 30, 2003. It tells the story of the overly protective [[w:clownfish|clownfish]] Marlin, voiced by [[w:Albert Brooks|Albert Brooks]], who along with a [[w:Paracanthurus hepatus|regal tang]] named Dory, voiced by [[Ellen DeGeneres]], searches for his son Nemo, voiced by [[w:Alexander Gould|Alexander Gould]]. Along the way he learns to take risks and that his son is capable of taking care of himself.
:''Directed by [[w:Andrew Stanton|Andrew Stanton]] and [[w:Lee Unkrich|Lee Unkrich]]. Story and Screenplay by [[w:Andrew Stanton|Andrew Stanton]].''
{{center|'''There Are 3.7 Trillion Fish In The Ocean. They're Looking For One.'''}}

== Dialogue ==
:'''Bruce''': Fish are friends, not food.
:'''Anchor''': Except stinkin' dolphins.
:'''Chum''': Dolphins! Yeah, they think they're so cute! ''[mocks a dolphin]'' &quot;Oh, look at me, I'm a flippy little dolphin, let me flip for you! Ain't I something?&quot;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Anchor''': A clownfish? Really?  
:'''Bruce''': Go on. Tell us a joke.  
:'''Chum''': I love jokes.  
:'''Marlin''': I actually do know one that’s pretty good. There was this mollusk, and he walks up to this sea cucumbers. Normally, they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke everyone talks. So, the sea mollusk says to the cucumber…
:''[sees the mask]''  
:'''Nemo''': Daddy!  
:'''Marlin''': Nemo!  
:'''Chum''': Nemo! Ha ha! Nemo… I don't get it.
:'''Bruce''': For a clownfish, he's not that funny. 
:'''Marlin''': No, no, no, he's my son. He was taken by these divers.
:'''Dory''': Oh, you poor fish...
:'''Chum''': Humans! Think they own everything.
:'''Anchor''': Probably American!
:'''Bruce''': Now, there is a father looking for his little boy.  
:'''Marlin''': What do these markings mean?   
:'''Bruce''': I never knew my father!  
:'''Anchor''': Come on, group hug.  
:'''Chum''': We're all still here mate.
:'''Marlin''': I can't read human.
:'''Dory''': Well, then we got to find a fish that can read this. Hey, look, sharks. 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Dory''': Hey, wait up partner! Hold on! Wait, wait wait! I gotta tell you something. Whoa. Nice trench. ''[echoing]'' Hello! Okay, let's go.
:'''Marlin''': Bad trench, bad trench. Come on, we're going to swim over this thing. ''[starts to swim over]''
:'''Dory''': Whoa, whoa, partner. Little red flag going up. Something's telling me we should swim through it, not over it.
:'''Marlin''': ''[comes back]'' Are you looking at this thing? It's got death all over it!
:'''Dory''': I'm sorry. But I really, really, really think we should swim through.
:'''Marlin''': And I am really, really done talking about this! Over we go!
:'''Dory''': Come on, trust me on this.
:'''Marlin''': Trust you?
:'''Dory''': Yes, trust. It's what friends do.
:'''Marlin''': ...Look, something's shiny!
:'''Dory''': Where?!
:'''Marlin''': Oh, it just swam over the trench! Come on, follow me.
:'''Dory''': Okay!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Dory''': How about we play a game? 
:'''Marlin''': All right. 
:'''Dory''': Okay, I'm thinking of something orange, and small... 
:'''Marlin''': It's me. 
:'''Dory''': Right! ''[later]'' I'm thinking of something orange and small...
:'''Marlin''': It's me.
:'''Dory''': All right, Mr. Smarty-pants... ''[later still]'' It's orange and small, and white stripes...
:'''Marlin''': Me, and the next one's just a guess, me.
:'''Dory''': Okay, that's just scary.
:'''Marlin''': Wait, wait, wait. I have definitely seen this floating speck before. That means we've passed it before. And that means we're going circles.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Dory''': ''[swims upside down]'' C'mon! You gotta try this!
:'''Marlin''': Will you just stop it?!
:'''Dory''': Why? What's wrong?
:'''Marlin''': We're in a whale, don't you get it?!
:'''Dory''': A whale?
:'''Marlin''': A whale!! Because you asked for help, and now we're stuck here!
:'''Dory''': ''[looks around her]'' Wow. A whale. You know, I speak whale--
:'''Marlin''': No, you're insane! You can't speak whale! I have to get out! ''[bumps into the whale's baleen]'' I have to find my son! ''[bumps again]'' I have to tell him... ''[bumps repeatedly]'' ...how, old, sea, turtles, are!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Marlin''': But, but, dude. How do you know when they're ready?
:'''Crush''': Well, you never really know, you know, but when they know, you'll know, ya know?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Dory''': Have you seen an orange fish swim by? It looks just like them. ''[points at Nemo]''
:'''Nemo''': But bigger!
:'''Crab''': Yeah, I saw him, Bluey. But I'm not telling you where he went, and there's no way you're gonna make me!
:''[Dory glares at the crab, then holds him out of water for the seagulls to see]''
:'''Seagull''': Mine, mine!
:'''Crab''': All right, all right! I'll talk, I'll talk! He went to the fishing grounds!
:'''Seagulls''': Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[hundreds of seagulls surround Marlin and Dory]''
:'''Seagull''': Mine.
:'''Nigel''': ''[quiet and controlled]'' Okay. Don't make any sudden moves. Hop inside my mouth, if you want to live.
:'''Marlin''': &quot;Hop in your mouth,&quot; huh? And how does that make me live?
:'''Seagull''': Mine?
:'''Nigel''': Because I can take you to your son.
:'''Marlin''': Yeah, right.
:'''Nigel''': No. I know your son. He's small and orange, he has a gimpy fin on one side.
:'''Marlin''': That's Nemo!
:''[the seagulls suddenly attack]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bloat''': Nemo, newcomer of orange and white, you have been called forth to the top of Mount Wannahockaloogie to join with us, in the fraternal bonds... of tankhood.
:'''Nemo''': Huh?
:'''Peach''': We want you in our club, kid.
:'''Nemo''': Really?
:'''Bloat''': If you are able to swim through, the Ring of Fire!!!! ''[nothing happens]'' Turn on the Ring of Fire! The Ring of Fire!
:''[Jacques suddenly comes to attention]''
:'''Jacques''': Sorry!
:'''Bloat''': You said you could do this!
:''[bubbles explode out of the top of Wannahockaloogie Mountain]''
:'''Bloat''': The Ring of Fire!

== About ''Finding Nemo'' ==

* By far the biggest challenge was getting the water right. Water has always been a Holy Grail for CG animators because it’s not a fixed medium, it’s constantly shifting and changing.
:* [[w:Andrew Stanton|Andrew Stanton]] in [http://www.indielondon.co.uk/film/finding_nemo_stanton_unkrich.html &quot;Finding Nemo - An interview with Andrew Stanton and Lee Unkrich&quot;] by Graeme Kay, ''Indie London''.
*  Way back during the first beginnings of [[Toy Story]], believe it or not. I was at an aquarium, and I was new to computer graphics, and I remember just looking at the underwater environment and thinking we could mimic this exactly in computer graphics.
: So that was on the back burner of my brain all through Toy Story and [[A Bug's Life]] and [[Toy Story 2]]. I kept thinking about what story I'd want to tell in an underwater setting, and I remembered this dentist's office that I went to as a kid. It had a tank in the lobby, and I used to think about whether those fish wanted to go home, and what it must be like to be in this tacky little tank with a treasure chest, and a scuba diver. All those kind of things.
:* Andrew Stanton in [http://www.bbc.co.uk/films/2003/09/30/andrew_stanton_lee_unkrich_finding_nemo_interview.shtml &quot;Andrew Stanton Lee Unkrich Finding Nemo Interview&quot;], by Nev Pierce ''BBC'', 09/30/2003.

== Voice cast ==
*[[w:Alexander Gould|Alexander Gould]] - Nemo
*[[w:Albert Brooks|Albert Brooks]] - Marlin
*[[Ellen DeGeneres]] - Dory
*[[Willem Dafoe]] - Gill
*[[Brad Garrett]] - Bloat                                
*[[w:Austin Pendleton|Austin Pendleton]] - Gurgle
*[[w:Stephen Root|Stephen Root]] - Bubbles
*[[w:Vicki Lewis|Vicki Lewis]] - Deb (and &quot;Flo&quot;, Deb's reflection)
*[[w:Joe Ranft|Joe Ranft]] - Jacques
*[[w:Allison Janney|Allison Janney]] - Peach
*[[Geoffrey Rush]] - Nigel
*[[w:John Ratzenberger|John Ratzenberger]] - Fish School
*[[w:Andrew Stanton|Andrew Stanton]] - Crush
*[[w:Nicholas Bird|Nicholas Bird]] - Squirt
*[[w:Bob Peterson (filmmaker)|Bob Peterson]] - Mr. Ray
*[[Barry Humphries]] - Bruce
*[[w:Eric Bana|Eric Bana]] - Anchor
*[[w:Bruce Spence|Bruce Spence]] - Chum
*[[w:Jordy Ranft|Jordy Ranft]] - Tad
*[[w:Erica Beck|Erica Beck]] - Pearl
*[[w:Erik Per Sullivan|Erik Per Sullivan]] - Sheldon
*[[w:Bill Hunter (actor)|Bill Hunter]] - Dentist Philip Sherman
*[[w:LuLu Ebeling|LuLu Ebeling]] - Darla Sherman
*[[w:Elizabeth Perkins|Elizabeth Perkins]] - Coral
*[[w:Rove McManus|Rove McManus]] - Crab
*[[w:Carlos Alazraqui|Carlos Alazraqui]] - Phil
*[[w:Phil Proctor|Phil Proctor]] - Bob
*[[w:James Kevin Ward|Jim Ward]] - Ted

==See also==
* [[Finding Dory]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|0266543}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|finding_nemo}}

[[Category:2003 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Computer-animated films]]
[[Category:Animated adventure films]]
[[Category:Animated comedy films]]
[[Category:Animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:Andrew Stanton films]]
[[Category:Lee Unkrich films]]
[[Category:Best Animated Feature Academy Award winners]]
[[Category:Films about fish]]
[[Category:Animated films about fish]]
[[Category:Screenplays by Andrew Stanton]]</text>
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    <title>Tupac Shakur</title>
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'''[[w:Tupac Shakur|Tupac Amaru Shakur]]''' ([[June 16]], [[1971]] – [[September 13]], [[1996]]) was an American rapper and actor. He was also step-nephew of Black power activist [[Assata Shakur]].

==Quotes== 
[[File:Calaveras Museo Atropológico-Madrid.jpg|thumb|Accept no substitutes; I bring truth to the youth.; [[Death|Killing]] ain't [[Fairness|fair]], but somebody's got to do it.]]
[[File:DerelictAsadBabil.JPEG|thumb|My adversaries crumble when we rumble; it's a catastrophe.]]
[[File:Ferguson, Day 4, Photo 13.png|thumb|It's not going to stop until we stop it. And it's not just white men that's doing this to Brenda. It's not just white men that's keeping us trapped. It's black.]]
[[File:Bed-Stuy in the Snow.jpg|thumb|The same crime element that white people are scared of, black people are scared of. The same crime element that white people fear, black people fear. So we defend our self from the same crime element that they are scared of... While they are waiting for legislation to pass and everything, we're next door to the killer, we're next door to him you know. Because we're up in the projects... All them killers that they letting out, they're right there in that building. Just because we're black we get along with the killers or something? We get along with rapists because we're black and from the same hood? What is that? We need protection too.]]
[[File:Confederate_100_Dollars.jpg|thumb|Currency means nothing if you still ain't free; money breeds jealousy.]]
[[File:US_Navy_091022-N-8607R-030_Capt._John_Funk,_commanding_officer_of_the_amphibious_assault_ship_USS_Bonhomme_Richard_(LHD_6).jpg|thumb|My aim is to spread more smiles than tears; utilize lessons learned from my childhood years.]]
[[File:Arco_iris_circular.JPG|thumb|Take the game from me; I hope for better days.]]
[[File:Hermandad_-_friendship.jpg|thumb|I'm not on this all-white or all-black shit. I'm on this all-real or all fake shit with people, whatever color you are.]]
[[File:Sagging.jpg|thumb|Every 'brother' ain't a brother. They will do you. So just because it's black, don't mean it's cool. And just because it's white don't mean it's evil.]]

===1990s===

*Accept no substitutes; I bring truth to the youth.
**[http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/2pac/hollaifyahearme.html &quot;Holla If Ya Hear Me&quot;] (1993).
**We all gonna die, we bleed from similar veins
**[https://lovequotesz.com/tupac-shakur-quotes/ TUPAC SHAKUR QUOTES] (2020)

====Malcolm X Grassroots Movement, Atlanta (1992)====
*First, I wanna say 'peace' to my mother. She's not here but I gotta give a 'peace out' to her because I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my mother.

*It's not going to stop until &quot;we&quot; stop it. And it's not just white man that's doing this to Brenda. It's not just white man that's keeping us trapped. It's &quot;black.&quot; And we have to find the new African in everybody... But before we can be African, we gotta be black first.

*What I want you to take seriously is what we have to do for the youth.

*You grew up, we grew up B.C. Before crack. That's just saying it all. You understand? You don't have parents... You have young kids, fourteen, coming home and their mama is smoking out, going to their best friend to get the product.

*It's not just about you taking care of &quot;your&quot; child. It's about you taking care of ''these children.''

*First, I want to say peace to my mother. She's not here, but I've got to give a 'peace out' to her, because I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my mother. And, I look in the front of this thing and it says 'start from within to rebuild our original greatness.' Right?  Okay, well that's what my mother did. You know what I'm saying? And I'm listen about freedom fighters and strugglers. Well you got to understand when it was 'in' to have a gun and be in the streets, my mother gave that up to be in a house and wash the dishes and feed us. You know what I'm saying? And put the thoughts in our brain. We didn't get any of that history from all of those soldiers that we lost. We got none of that. They all went to jail if you can remember that. They all went to penitentiaries. We didn't see none of that knowledge. If it was not for my mother, that stayed home, and didn't go out and do all that, then I wouldn't have shit, excuse my language. But, I wouldn't have been nowhere. So what I want to do hopefully is. I want to be, not I want to be, I am Tupac Shakur. I have to be a reminder that we cant chill out. No, it not time cool out in banquets, its still on. It's on just like it was on when you were young and you want to say 'fuck that'. Just like you said 'fuck that', back then. So how come, now that I'm twenty years old and ready to start some shit, everybody's telling me to 'calm down'. Don't curs them, go to school, go to college. Well, fuck that. We have had colleges for awhile now. You know what I'm sayin? There's still Brenda's out there and niggas are still trapped. You know what I'm saying? And it gets me, irked. You know what I'm saying? Because I understand that it's not going to stop. You know what I'm saying? 

*'''It's not going to stop until ''we'' stop it. And it's not just white men that's doing this to Brenda. It's not just white men that's keeping us trapped. It's 'black',''' and we have to find the new African in everybody. In all of us, because if we keep running around looking for black and who got the most colors on or who got the baddest dashiki, we're still going to, excuse my language, we're still going to get fucked. Because it hurts me that my mother right now is going though, you know, she has to get clean. This is somebody I watched travel the whole country. You know what I'm saying? During the time when our women were scared to speak up. But, a Black Panther she spoke at Harvard, Yale, everywhere and now. I see my mother as what's really going on. You know what I'm saying? I don't see no big parade around my mother now. She's got a dozen fucking awards, and I don't see nobody there. You understand what I'm saying? So out of this, I take that lightly. I take all this lightly. 

*What I want you to take seriously, is what we have to do for the youth. Because we're coming up in a totally different world. This is not the same world that you had this is not 6th Street its not. You grew up, we grew up B.C. Before crack. That's just saying it all. You understand? We did not grow up without parents. You had parents that told you this and that and told you what went on back in the day. You have young kids, fourteen, coming home and their mama is smoking out, going to their best friend to get the product. You understand what I'm saying? So that means it's not just about you taking care of &quot;your&quot; child. It's about you taking care of &quot;these children&quot;. It hurts that I got to, it bothers me, not hurts, that I have to sidestep my youth to stand up and do some shit that somebody else is suppose to be doing. You understand what I'm saying? There's too many men out here for me to be doing this, because it ain't my turn yet. I'm supposed to be following behind him getting the knowledge. I don't even got a chance to get the fucking knowledge. I can't go to college. There's too much problems out here. I don't got the money. Nobody does. You understand what I'm saying? So what I'm saying is, it's not as easy as we're mapping it out to be. We've got to stay real. Before we can be new African we've gotta be black first. You understand? We've gotta get our brothers from the streets like Harriett Tubman did. Why can't we look at that and see exactly what she was doing? Like Malcolm did, the real Malcolm, before the Nation of Islam. You've got to remember, this was a pimp. You know what I'm saying, we forgot about all that. In our strive to be enlightened we forgot about all our brothers in the street, about all our dope dealers, our pushers and our pimps, and that's who's teaching the new generation, because y'all not doing it. I'm sorry. But, it's the pimps and pushers who's teaching us. So, if you got a problem with how we were raised, its because they was the only ones who could do it. They the only ones who did it, because everybody else wanted to go to college, and you know, yeah everything's changed, they were the ones telling you 'the white man ain't shit, there you go, check this out young blood, you take this product, you switch it, you get money and that's how you beat the white man, you get money, you get the hell up out of here.' Nobody else did that. So I don't wanna hear shit about nobody telling me who I can't love and respect until you start doing what they did. To me, this is Mecca. This is the black family. You know what I'm saying? But, what makes it that much sadder, what makes me wanna cry, is that when I leave this place, so does Mecca. You understand what I'm saying? We're going back to the real deal. Right out there, you're going see the same sisters and Brenda, they're right out there, and y'all are going to get in your cars and drive the fuck home.

====''[[w:Strictly 4 My N.I.G.G.A.Z...|Strictly 4 My N.I.G.G.A.Z...]]'' (February 16, 1993)====

* They got money for wars, but can't feed the poor.
** &quot;Keep Ya Head Up&quot;

====MTV interview (1994)====
* To dance with the naked [blow-up] doll, that was me! That's what I mean by I'm real, I'm truly hardcore, because I needed the money and I had to work. So if he told me that for me to get paid I had to go out there in bikini briefs and hop on top of this [blow-up] doll and that's how I gotta get paid, and I was homeless at the time, that's what I had to do. But What I did was not let him pimp me, you know what I'm saying. It wasn't like I just did that because that was my order. As soon as I got the check's to say what was on my mind, I said what was on my mind. And we have a platinum record now, you know what I'm saying.

* You have to work from one point to go to another. So I admire work ethic, I think it should be re-inforced through out our neigbourhoods, that everybody should work hard, practice makes perfect, you have to be diligent with what you want, you have to apply your self, you have to motivate your self. You have to do for-self by your self, and then you can do things for other people. But that's what I had to do, I had to do for-self.

* I want, when they see me, They know that everyday when I'm breathing is for us to go further. Everytime I speak I want the truth to come out. Not one person even realizes that I have white relatives, my cousin just had a son who is “White” but everytime I speak I want a shiver so yes, I do omit things that I feel are not accurately portraying my “character”. I don't want them to be like; they know what I'm gonna say, because it's polite. Im not saying I'm gonna rule the world or I'm gonna change the world, but I guarantee you that I will spark the brain that will change the world. And that's our job, It's to spark somebody else watching us. We might not be the one's, but let's not be selfish and because we not gonna change the world let's not talk about how we should change it. I don't know how to change it, but I know if I keep talking about how dirty it is out here, somebody's gonna clean it up.

* I gotta big mouth, I can't help it, I talk from my heart, I'm real you know what I'm sayin whatever comes comes. But my controverse problems, It's not my fault, I try to find my way in the world you know, I try to be somebody instead of just, make money off of everybody. You know what im saying, so I go down paths that haven't been traveled before and I usually mess up, but I learn, you know what I'm saying, I come back stronger, I'm not talking ignorant, you know what I'm saying. So obviously put thought into what I do. So I think my mouth, my controverse, I have not been out of the paper since I joined Digital Underground, I've been in all, you know what I'm saying, my name has not been not uttered, you know what I'm saying, and that's good for me because I don't wanna be forgotten. If I'm forgotten then that means I'm comfortable and that means I think everything is okay.

====Ed Gordon interview (1994)====
* '''It's like a battle, trying to find the right words to say at the right time.'''

* '''It's a constant man-ego-check going on in the streets, in this world.'''

* I believe honestly that I can talk. I believe that I have the ability to reason, I have logic, I have compassion, I have understanding. If we talk there's no problem you know what I'm saying. But that's not what happened. People used what they heard in media and that's how they come at me, and then you know we got a clash.

* '''If your not cheering for me, for what I'm doing, don't cheer for me. Don't cheer cause you think I'm cute, you know what I'm saying, screw that. Cheer for me for what I'm doing, for what I stand for, and when I go to jail you should cheer louder.'''

* '''I have no patience for anybody that doubts me, none at all.'''

* '''I'm not thuggin' for me, I'm thuggin' for my family, I pay all the bills, I feed my whole family, wrong or right, I do and I can't stop.'''

* The main thing for us to remember is that, the same crime element that white people are scared of, black people are scared of. The same crime element that white people fear, black people fear. So we defend our self from the same crime element that they are scared of, you know what I'm saying, while they are waiting for legislations to pass and everything, we're next door to the killer, we're next door to him you know. Because we up in the projects where it's 80 niggas in the building. All them killers that they letting out, they're right there in that building. Just because we're black we get along with the killers or something? We get along with rapist's because we're black and from the same hood? What is that? We need protection too.

* I made a metamorphose, I'm a new person today, because I used to strongly and honestly, honestly! I feel like I can represent my generation so much because I honestly did not care whether I lived or died. But now I can not die, with people thinking I'm a rapist or a criminal, I can not leave until this shit is straight, you know I'm not suicidal. I can't go until ya'll really know what time it is. And then after that, BOOM!, It's all over and we can see how this shit fall, but that's how it is, and the reason being is because if I can't live free, if I can't live with the same respect as the next man, I don't wanna be here, because god has cursed me to see what life should be like, If God wanted me to be this person and be happy here, he wouldn't let me feel so oppressed, he wouldn't let me feel so trampled on, you know what I'm saying, he wouldn't let me think the things I think. So I feel I'm doing Gods work, you know what I'm saying just because I don't have nothing to pass around for people to put money in a bucket don't mean I ain't doing God's work.

====Interview outside courthouse (1994)====
* The only way I've been practicing my whole life, to live my life is to be responsible for what I do. I don't know how to be responsible for what every black male did, I don't know. And yes, I am gonna say that I'm a thug, that's because I came from the gutter and I'm still here! I'm not saying I'm a thug because I wanna rob you or rape people and things. I'm a business man, I mean, you know I'm a business man because you find me at my places of business.

* It's not my liking for guns, what about the NRA? We all have the rights to bear arms, I have that, I have that same right as you do. Just because I'm black doesn't mean I shouldn't have a gun; I legally own guns.

====MTV interview with Tabitha Soren (1995)====
* '''I know how it's gonna be when I die. It's going to be no noise, you ain't going to hear people screaming. I'mma fade out.'''

* Marlon Brando is not a gangster-actor, he's an actor. Axl Rose and them are not gangster rock-and-rollers, they're  rock-and-rollers right. So I'm a rapper, this is what I do. I'm an artist.

* '''I think being humble is sexy.'''

* I think that I'm really, I was a reactionary, and now I don't do that any more. Same person, but I don't react. Before, I reacted. I didn't like the cameras, so I spit. 

* I'm known as a survivor now, I hope so, for the jail thing, bullets and everything, controversies and everything, I hope so. And I want to be in the future known as somebody. You know I want people to be talking about me like you know: &quot;remember when he was real bad, remember when Tupac was real bad&quot;. You know what I mean, they do that about a lot of actors now, like John Travolta I read stories like &quot;remember you were wild&quot;. And all these other people, and now they're like sweet hearts. We all should get that chance, I just want my chance.

====Prison interviews and interrogations (1995)====
:'''Interviewer''': It says &quot;I really got my ass beat. I really don't like police. 
:'''Shakur''': It doesn't say that. Where are you at? Right there... oh. I didn't say that. That's not what it says.
:'''Interviewer''': Okay. 
:'''Shakur''': It says, 'I'm a victim for real. Everything I talk is for real. I really got my ass beat. I really don't like ''them.''.. I really don't like crooked police. 

* '''Jail is big business, believe me. I'm in jail, I see the big business. You can feed a whole town off one jail. This jail is in the middle of a town that feeds everybody. Everybody works here, this is the main income. So if there were no criminals, nobody would work.'''

* '''The guns are turning away from Europe and Russia and Iran and Iraq and they're turning to us.'''

* '''America is the biggest gang in the world.'''

* '''Prison kills your spirit, straight up. It kills your spirit. There is no creativity, there's none of that.'''

* Now if we do wanna live the thug life and the gangsta' life and all that, OK, so stop being cowards and let's have a revolution. But we don't wanna do that, dudes just wanna live &quot;character&quot;, they wanna be &quot;cartoons&quot;, but if they really wanted to do something, they was that tuff, alright, let's start our own country, let's start a revolution, let's get outta' here, let's do something. But they don't wanna do that, they wanna pimp our communities and portray this image that they know we all can't survive and make, and that's what I saw.

* '''No matter what these people say about me, my music does not glorify any image, my music is spiritual if you listen to it. It's all about emotion, it's all about life.'''

* '''Watch people, because you can fake for a long time, but one day you're gonna show yourself to be a phony.''' 

* '''Measure a man by his actions fully, from the beginning to the end. Don't take a piece out of my life or a song out of my music and say this is what I'm about, because you know better than that.'''

* '''I don't feel like what I did was so evil, I just feel like the way I was living and my mentality was a part of my progression to be a man.''' 
* '''Don't support the phonies, support the real.'''

* ''Listen to the words people say in their lyrics, and tell me, if that's some real shit, if that's real to you, you know what I mean. Listen to what they sayin', don't just bob your head to the beat, peep the game, and listen to what Im saying. Hold us accountable for it.''

* '''Trust nobody, TRUST NO BODY.'''

* '''Fear is stronger than love, remember that. Fear is stronger than love, all that love I gave didn't mean nothing when it came to fear.'''

* '''The only thing that can kill me is death, that's the only thing that can ever stop me, is death, and even then my music will live forever.'''

====Interview on the set ''Gridlock'd'' (1996)====
* I've always been an actor, the reason I've been successful in the rap-game I think is that I treat my albums like movies, and I treat writing it like I'm a character writing a story, you know, for each album whatever I'm going through, whatever stages I'm going through, and I do it vividly with vivid pitcure, with action and description, and an beginning and with an end, and conflict, and you know, redemption, things like that. So I feel like I always been an actor and acting is my first love.

* If you thought about it I'm hardly the villain, I'm hardly the one you should be scared of. It's the guy who can't talk, it's the guy without a job, it's the one with scares in his face, not the one clean cut, you know what I mean you should worry about a lot of other things, but not me.

====''Details'' magazine interview (Spring 1996)====
* All good niggas, all the niggas who change the world, die in violence. They don't die in regular ways.

====Interview at Death Row offices (1996)====
* Basically It's a hypocritical view, because what your saying is it's okay for us to live in the dirt, in the gutter, in less than human conditions, but it's not okay for us to tell people that we are living in these conditions.

====''Vibe'' magazine interview (February 1996)====
* Everybody's at war with different things... I'm at war with my own heart sometimes.

====''Vibe'' magazine interview (June 1996)====
* On the whole, I don't have any friends. Friends come and go; I've lost my trust factor. I believe I have people who think they're my friend. And I believe that there are people probably in their heart who are friends toward me or are friends to me. But they're not my friends, because what I learned is that fear is stronger than love.

====''Vibe'' magazine interview (September 1996)====
* It's not like I idolize this one guy Machiavelli. I idolize that type of thinking where you do whatever's gonna make you achieve your goal.
* This new Makaveli album I got comin' out, I'm takin' on niggas. It's like, my dopest album ever. 
* I am the future of black America.
* Fuck it, I feel like I shine.

====Interview on the set of ''Gang Related'' (1996)====
* '''I can't explain why I shine and no one else shines. I think everybody shines in different things.'''

* The reason I sell 6 million records, the reason I could go to jail and come out without a scratch, the reason I can walk around, the reason I am who I am today is because I can look directly in to my face and find my soul, it's there, it's not sold, i didn't sell it, it's still within me, I still feel it, my heart is still connected to my body.

====''All Eyez on Me'' (1996)====
* My adversaries crumble when we rumble; it's a catastrophe.
**&quot;When We Ride&quot; (1996)

*It seems, my main thing was to be major paid &lt;br&gt; The [[game]] sharper than a motherfucking razor blade &lt;br&gt; Say [[money]] bring [[women|bitches]], bitches bring [[lies]]. &lt;br&gt;
:* All Eyez On Me&quot; (1996)

====&quot;Hit 'Em Up&quot; (1996)====
*You claim to be a player, but I fucked your wife.

* Killing ain't fair, but somebody's got to do it.

====''The Don Killuminati: The 7 Day Theory'' (1996)====
*More money means litigating, more player-hating. Got a cell at the pen, for me waiting. Is this my fate?
**[https://play.google.com/music/preview/Te5ppuyfquh4t6lnlla3zs6w33e?lyrics=1 &quot;Hold Ya Head&quot;]

*Currency means nothing if you still ain't free. Money breeds jealousy. Take the game from me; I hope for better days. Trouble comes naturally. Running from authorities. 'Til they capture me, and my aim is to spread more smiles than tears. Utilize lessons learned from my childhood years.
**[https://play.google.com/music/preview/Te5ppuyfquh4t6lnlla3zs6w33e?lyrics=1 &quot;Hold Ya Head&quot;]

* I ain't a [[killer]], but don't push me &lt;br&gt; [[Revenge]] is like the sweetest [[joy]] next to gettin' pussy.
** &quot;Hail Mary&quot;

=== Posthumous attributions ===
====''Tupac: Resurrection'' (2003)====
*Some people say I was a thug and a gangster; other people remember me as a poet and a born leader. But I'm saying to you, measure a man by his actions fully, through his whole life, from the beginning to the end. 

*Remember, this country had a man named [[J. Edgar Hoover]], whose job it was to destroy the credibility of any black man coming up. 

*My mother was pregnant with me while she was in prison. She was her own attorney, never been to law school. She was facing 300 and something odd years. One black woman, pregnant, beat the case. That just goes to show you the strength of a black woman and the strength of the oppressed. 

*When I was a little baby, I remember that one moment of calm peace, and three minutes after that, it was on. 

*But in my homeboys' high school, it's not like that. They don't have trips to go see this Broadway play, they don't read things we read. They didn't know when I was like: &quot;Yo, Shakespeare's dope.&quot;

*The same crime element that white people are scared of black people are scared of. While they waiting for legislation to pass, we next door to the killer. All them killers they let out, they're in that building. Just because we black, we get along with the killers? What is that? We need protection too. 

*You have to be logical. You know? If I know that in this hotel room they have food every day, and I'm knocking on the door every day to eat, and they open the door, let me see the party, let me see them throwing salami all over, I mean, just throwing food around, but they're telling me there's no food.

*Every day, I'm standing outside trying to sing my way in: We are hungry, please let us in. We are hungry, please let us in. After about a week that song is gonna change to: We hungry, we need some food. After two, three weeks, it's like: Give me the food Or I'm breaking down the door. After a year you're just like: I'm picking the lock. Coming through the door blasting.

*It's like, you hungry, you reached your level. We asked ten years ago. We was asking with the Panthers. We was asking with them, the Civil Rights Movement. We was asking. Those people that asked are dead and in jail. So now what do you think we're gonna do? Ask? 

*No, you don't wanna get me started. Jell-O with hair all in the mold. I'd be like, &quot;Damn, man, how are you gonna mess up Jell-O?&quot; Jell-O is so wholesome and family-like. It just ruins it for me. To have a hair in there, yeah. I mean, I'm like, &quot;Come on, Bill Cosby pumps this, man!&quot; 

*And you can't go, &quot;There's a hair in my Jell-O. I'd like to send this back. Can I see the cook, please?&quot; The cook is a big dude named Bubba Joe. 

*I got shot. I always felt like I'd be shot. Somebody was trying to do me some harm because a lot of people don't like me. But I didn't think it was gonna happen at that particular moment. 

* Niggers was the ones with the rope, hanging off trees; Niggas are the ones with gold ropes, hanging out at clubs.

* Measure a man by his actions fully, through his whole life, from the beginning to the end.

* Coming to grips with my past, it was hard. I don't feel like what I did was so evil, I just feel like the way I was living, and my mentality, was part of my progression to be a man.

*I'm not saying I'm gonna change the world, but I guarantee that I will spark the brain that will change the world.

* You grow, we all grow, we're made to grow. You either evolve or disappear.

* Keep ya head up. Do what you gotta do. And then, inside of you, I will be reborn.

* The real tragedy is that there are some ignorant brothers out here. That's why I'm not on this all-white or all-black shit. I'm on this all-real or all fake shit with people, whatever color you are. Because niggas will do you. I mean, there's some [foul] niggas out there [in the streets]; the same niggas that did Malcolm X, the same niggas that did Jesus Christ; every brother ain't a brother. They will do you. So just because it's black, don't mean it's cool. And just because it's white don't mean it's evil.
**From an interview with Tupac Shakur.

* But I know for a fact that had I had a father, I'd have some discipline. I'd have more confidence. Your mother cannot calm you down the way a man can. Your mother can't reassure you the way a man can. My mother couldn't show me where my manhood was. You need a man to teach you how to be a man. When I was young I was quiet, withdrawn. I read a lot, wrote poetry, kept a diary. I watched TV all day. I stayed in front of the television. It was when I was in front of the TV by myself, being alone in the house by myself, having to cook dinner by myself, eat by myself. Just being by myself and looking at TV, at families and all these people out there in this pretend world. I knew I could be part of it if I pretended too, So early on I just watched and emulated ... and I just thirsted for that. I thought if I could be and act like those characters, act like those people, I could have some of their joy. If I could act like I had a big family I wouldn't feel as lonely.

==Discography==
* ''2Pacalypse Now'' (1991)
* ''Strictly 4 My N.I.G.G.A.Z'' (1993)
* ''Thug Life: Thug Life Vol. 1'' (1994)
* ''Me Against the World'' (1995)
* ''All Eyez on Me'' (1996)
* ''Makaveli: The Don Killuminati: 7 Day Theory'' (1996)
* ''R U Still Down?'' (1997)
* ''2Pac's Greatest Hits'' (1998)
* ''Still I Rise (2Pac + Outlawz)'' (1999)
* ''The Lost Tapes'' (1989/released 2000)
* ''The Rose that Grew from Concrete'' (2000)
* ''Until the End of Time'' (2001)
* ''Better Dayz'' (2002)
* ''Tupac Resurrection'' (2003)
* ''Nu-Mixx Klazzics'' (2003)
* ''2Pac Live'' (2004)
* ''Loyal to the Game'' (2004)
* ''The Rose Vol. 2'' (2005)
* ''Live At The House Of Blues (with Outlawz, Dogg Pound, Snoop Dogg, K-Ci &amp; JoJo)'' (2005)
* ''Pac's Life'' (2006)
* ''Best Of 2Pac Vol 1:Thug'' and ''Vol 2:Life'' (2007)

==External links== 
{{wikipedia}}
{{commons category}}
* [http://www.2paclegacy.com 2Pac Legacy] (Official website)
* [http://ohhla.com/YFA_2pac.html OHHLA.COM - verified lyrics archive]
*[http://www.strictlyballin.net Strictlyballin.net] - (2Pac Fansite)
*[http://www.thugz-network.com 2Pac] - (Fansite)
*[https://lovequotesz.com/tupac-shakur-quotes/ 2PAC SHAKUR QUOTES]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Shakur, Tupac Amaru}}
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  <page>
    <title>John Adams</title>
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[[File:US Navy 031029-N-6236G-001 A painting of President John Adams (1735-1826), 2nd president of the United States, by Asher B. Durand (1767-1845)-crop.jpg|thumb|There is [[danger]] from all [[men]]. The only maxim of a free [[government]] ought to be to [[trust]] no man living with [[power]] to endanger the public [[liberty]].]]
'''[[w:John Adams|John Adams]]''' ([[30 October]] [[1735]] – [[4 July]] [[1826]]) was an American lawyer, author, statesman, and diplomat. He served as the [[w:List of presidents of the United States|second]] [[president of the United States]] (1797–1801), the [[w:List of vice presidents of the United States|first]] [[w:Vice President of the United States|vice president]] (1789–1797), and as a [[w:Founding Fathers of the United States|Founding Father]] was a leader of American independence from [[w:Kingdom of Great Britain|Great Britain]]. Adams was a political theorist in the [[w:Age of Enlightenment|Age of Enlightenment]] who promoted [[w:Republicanism in the United States|republicanism]] and a strong [[w:central government|central government]]. His innovative ideas were frequently published. He was also a dedicated diarist and correspondent, particularly with his wife and key advisor [[w:Abigail Adams|Abigail]]. He was the father of [[John Quincy Adams]].

== Quotes ==
[[File:Adamstrumbull.jpg|thumb|[[Metaphysicians]] and [[Politics|politicians]] may dispute [[forever]], but they will never find any other [[moral]] [[principle]] or foundation of [[rule]] or obedience, than the consent of governors and governed.]]
[[File:Boston Massacre.jpg|thumb|Fear is the foundation of most governments; but it is so sordid and brutal a passion, and renders men in whose breasts it predominates so stupid and miserable.]]
[[File:Magnifying-glass-green-brass.png|thumb|[[Facts]] are stubborn things; and whatever may be our [[wishes]], our inclinations, or the dictates of our [[passion]], they cannot alter the state of facts and [[evidence]].]]
[[File:Declaration of Independence (1819), by John Trumbull.jpg|thumb|I am well aware of the Toil and Blood and Treasure, that it will cost Us to maintain this Declaration, and support and defend these States...]]
[[File:US flag 13 stars.svg|thumb|Objects of the most Stupendous Magnitude, Measures in which the Lives and Liberties of Millions, born and unborn are most essentially interested, are now before Us. We are in the very midst of a Revolution, the most compleat, unexpected, and remarkable of any in the History of Nations.]]
[[File:Fourth of July fireworks behind the Washington Monument, 1986.jpg|thumb|Yet through all the Gloom I can see the Rays of ravishing [[Light]] and [[Glory]].]]
[[File:Judith Leyster The Proposition.jpg|thumb|There is, in the human Breast, a social Affection, which extends to our whole Species.]]
[[File:Flag of the United States Secretary of State.svg|thumb|What are the Qualifications of a [[United States Secretary of State|Secretary of State]]? He ought to be a Man of universal Reading in Laws, Governments, History. Our whole terrestrial Universe ought to be summarily comprehended in his Mind.]]
[[File:Prologue Hammurabi Code Louvre AO10237.jpg|thumb|While all other Sciences have advanced, that of Government is at a stand; little better understood; little better practiced now than three or four thousand years ago.]]
[[File:Treaty of Paris by Benjamin West 1783.jpg|thumb|I must study [[politics]] and [[war]], that our sons may have [[liberty]] to study [[mathematics]] and [[philosophy]].]]
[[File:North Façade White House.JPG|thumb|I pray Heaven to bestow the best of blessings on this house and all that shall hereafter inhabit it. May none but honest and wise men ever rule under this roof.]]
[[File:Synagogue Florence Italy.JPG|thumb|I will insist that the Hebrews have done more to civilize men than any other nation.]]
[[File:Flag-of-Israel-002a.jpg|thumb|If I were an atheist, and believed in blind eternal fate, I should still believe that fate had ordained the Jews to be the most essential instrument for civilizing the nations.]]
[[File:Greenough Jefferson p1070133.jpg|thumb|You and I ought not to die before we have explained ourselves to each other.]]
[[File:United_States_Declaration_of_Independence.jpg|thumb|The Declaration of Independence I always considered as a Theatrical Show. Jefferson ran away with all the stage effect of that; ''i.e.'' all the Glory of it.]]
[[File:Minute Man Statue Lexington Massachusetts.jpg|thumb|What do we mean by the Revolution? The war? That was no part of the revolution; it was only an effect and consequence of it. The revolution was in the minds of the people, and this was effected from 1760 - 1775, in the course of fifteen years, before a drop of blood was shed at Lexington.]]
[[File:Voting machine lever.jpg|thumb|When annual elections end, there slavery begins.]]
[[File:Union flag 1606 (Kings Colors).svg|thumb|[[Great Britain]] has been moving earth and hell to obtain allies against [[United States|us]], yet it is improper in us to propose an alliance! Great Britain has borrowed all the superfluous wealth of Europe, in Italy, Germany, Holland, Switzerland, and some in France, to murder us, yet it is dishonorable in us to propose to borrow money! By heaven, I would make a bargain with all [[Europe]], if it lay with me.]]
[[File:Kehlen, Weisses Kreuz.jpg|thumb|I see in every Page, Something to recommend Christianity in its Purity and Something to discredit its Corruptions.]]
[[File:Brocken-tanzawa2.JPG|thumb|Let the human mind loose. It must be loose. It will be loose. Superstition and dogmatism cannot confine it.]]
[[File:Erloeserkirche Lighted Cross.jpg|thumb|The substance and essence of Christianity, as I understand it, is eternal and unchangeable, and will bear examination forever, but it has been mixed with extraneous ingredients, which I think will not bear examination, and they ought to be separated.]]
[[File:A horse in a landscape startled by lightning by James Ward.jpg|thumb|Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order.]]
[[File:Der Führer in Paris. Hitler in Paris. Heinrich Hoffman Collection. - NARA - 540180.tiff|thumb|The [[Europe]]ans are all deeply tainted with [[Bigotry|prejudices]], both ecclesiastical and temporal, which they can never get rid of... They all believe that great Principle which has produced this boundless universe... to be spit upon by Jews. Until this [[Antisemitism|awful blasphemy]] is got rid of, there never will be any liberal science in the world.]]
[[File:Bundesarchiv Bild 146-1970-083-42, Magdeburg, zerstörtes jüdisches Geschäft.jpg|thumb|The moment the idea is admitted into society, that property is not as sacred as the law of God, and that there is not a force of law and public justice to protect it, anarchy and tyranny commence.]]
[[File:Burning of the uss philadelphia.jpg|thumb|We took the liberty to make some enquiries concerning the ground of their pretentions to make war upon nations who had done them no injury, and observed that we considered all mankind as our friends who had done us no wrong, nor had given us any provocation... The Ambassador answered us that it was founded on the laws of their Prophet; that it was written in their Koran; that all nations who should not have acknowledged their authority were sinners; that it was their right and duty to make war upon them wherever they could be found, and to make slaves of all they could.]]
[[File:Official medallion of the British Anti-Slavery Society (1795).jpg|thumb|[[Slavery]] is an evil of colossal magnitude and I am utterly averse to the admission of slavery.]]
[[File:AdoptionOf13thAmendment.jpg|thumb|Every measure of prudence, therefore, ought to be assumed for the eventual total extirpation of slavery from the United States.]]
[[File:Captive Slave.jpg|thumb|I have, through my whole life, held the practice of slavery in such abhorrence, that I have never owned a negro or any other slave, though I have lived for many years in times, when the practice was not disgraceful, when the best men in my vicinity thought it not inconsistent with their character, and when it has cost me thousands of dollars for the labor and subsistence of free men.]]

*There are few people in this world with whom I can converse.
**As quoted in ''Complete Book of U.S. Presidents'' (1984), by William A. DeGregorio, pp. 19&amp;ndash;20

*I can treat all with decency and civility, and converse with them, when it is necessary, on points of business. But I am never happy in their company.
**As quoted in ''Complete Book of U.S. Presidents'' (1984), by William A. DeGregorio, pp. 19&amp;ndash;20

*There was a physical quality in us resembling the power of electricity or of the magnet, by which when a pair approached within a striking distance they flew together like the needle to the pole or like two objects in electric experiments.
**As quoted in ''Complete Book of U.S. Presidents'' (1984), by William A. DeGregorio, pp. 19&amp;ndash;20
=== 1750s ===
* '''Tis impossible to judge with much Precision of the true Motives and Qualities of human Actions, or of the Propriety of Rules contrived to govern them, without considering with like Attention, all the [[Passions]], Appetites, Affections in [[Nature]] from which they flow.''' An intimate [[Knowledge]] therefore of the intellectual and moral [[World]] is the sole foundation on which a stable structure of Knowledge can be erected.
** Letter to [[w:Jonathan Sewall|Jonathan Sewall]] (October 1759)

* Tis impossible to avail our selves of the genuine [[Powers]] of [[Eloquence]], without examining in their Elements and first [[Principles]], the [[Force]] and [[Harmony]] of Numbers, as employed by the Poets and orators of ancient and modern times, and without considering the natural Powers of Imagination, and the Disposition of Mankind to Metaphor and figure, which will require the Knowledge of the true Principles of Grammar, and Rhetoric, and of the best classical Authors. &lt;br&gt; '''Now to what higher object, to what greater Character, can any Mortal aspire, than to be possessed of all this Knowledge, well digested, and ready at Command, to assist the feeble and Friendless, to discountenance the haughty and lawless, to procure Redress of Wrongs, the Advancement of Right, to assert and maintain [[Liberty]] and [[Virtue]], to discourage and abolish Tyranny and Vice?'''
** Letter to [[w:Jonathan Sewall|Jonathan Sewall]] (October 1759)

==== ''Diaries'' (1750s-1790s) ====
[[File:Caspar David Friedrich 025.jpg|thumb|Where do we find a precept in the Gospel requiring Ecclesiastical Synods? Convocations? Councils? Decrees? Creeds? Confessions? Oaths? Subscriptions? and whole cart-loads of other trumpery that we find religion incumbered with in these days?]]
[[File:Le peuple français demandant la destitution du tyran 10 août 1792-François Gérard-IMG 2351.JPG|thumb|Tyranny can scarcely be practised upon a virtuous and wise people.]]

* '''Major Greene this evening fell into some conversation with me about the Divinity and satisfaction of [[Jesus]] [[w:Christ|Christ]].''' All the argument he advanced was, &quot;that a mere creature or finite being could not make satisfaction to infinite justice for any crimes,&quot; and that &quot;these things are very mysterious.&quot; &lt;br&gt; '''Thus mystery is made a convenient cover for absurdity.'''
** Entry of 13 February 1756 in Charles Francis Adams, ''The Works of John Adams, Second President of the United States: With a Life of the Author, Notes, and Illustrations'' vol. 2 (Boston: Charles C. Little and James Brown, 1850) 4, ''Google Books'', 13 December 2010, web [http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=BGYFAAAAQAAJ&amp;pg=PA5&amp;dq=%2215+sunday+staid+at+home%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=YJlsU4u-FsPBOKu3gaAI&amp;ved=0CDUQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&amp;q=%2215%20sunday%20staid%20at%20home%22&amp;f=false]

* &quot;17. Wednesday.  A fine morning.  Proceeded on my journey towards Braintree.  Stopped to see Mr. Haven, of Dedham, who told me, very civilly, he supposed I took my faith on trust from Dr. Mayhew, and added, that he believed the doctrine of satisfaction of Jesus Christ to be essential to Christianity, and that he would not believe this satisfaction unless he believed the Divinity of Christ.  Mr. Balch was there too, and observed, he would not be a Christian if he did not believe mysteries of the gospel; that he could bear with an Arminian, but when, Dr. Mayhew they denied the Divinity and satisfaction of Christ, he had no more to do with them; that he knew to make of Dr. Mayhew's two discourses upon the expected of all things.  They gave him an idea of a cart whose wanted greasing; it rumbled on in a hoarse, rough manner; there was a good deal of ingenious talk in them, but it was thrown together in a jumbled, confused order.  He believed the Doctor wrote them in a great panic.  He added further that Arminians, however stiffly they maintain their opinions in health, always, he takes notice, retract when they come to die, and choose to die Calvinists.  Set out for Braintree, and arrived about sunset.&quot;
** Entry for 17 February 1756 in Charles Francis Adams, ''The Works of John Adams'' vol. 2, 10-1

&lt;!-- [[File:Quill pen.PNG|thumb|A pen is certainly an excellent instrument to fix a man's attention and to inflame his ambition.]] --&gt;
* Spent an hour in the beginning of the evening at Major Gardiner's, where it was thought that the design of Christianity was not to make men good riddle-solvers, or good mystery-mongers, but good men, good magistrates, and good subjects, good husbands and good wives, good parents and good children, good masters and good servants. The following questions may be answered some time or other, namely, — '''Where do we find a precept in the Gospel requiring Ecclesiastical Synods? Convocations? Councils? Decrees? Creeds? Confessions? Oaths? Subscriptions? and whole cart-loads of other trumpery that we find religion incumbered with in these days?'''
** (18 February 1756)

* '''No man is entirely free from weakness and imperfection in this life.''' Men of the most exalted genius and active minds are generally most perfect slaves to the love of fame. They sometimes descend to as mean tricks and artifices in pursuit of honor or reputation as the miser descends to in pursuit of gold.
** (19 February 1756)

* Suppose a nation in some distant region should take the [[Bible]] for their only law book and every member should regulate his conduct by the precepts there exhibited. . . .What a Eutopia - What a [[Paradise]] would this region be!
** (22 February 1756)

* '''A pen is certainly an excellent instrument to fix a man's attention and to inflame his ambition.'''
** (14 November 1760)

* This is the most magnificent movement of all! There is a dignity, a majesty, a sublimity, in this last effort of the patriots that I greatly admire. The people should never rise without doing something to be remembered — something notable and striking. This destruction of the tea is so bold, so daring, so firm, intrepid and inflexible, and it must have so important consequences, and so lasting, that I can't but consider it as an epocha in history!
** On the [[w:Boston Tea Party|Boston Tea Party]] (17 December 1773)

* '''[[Virtue]] is not always [[amiable]].''' [[Integrity]] is sometimes ruined by [[prejudices]] and by [[passions]].
** (9 February 1779)

* By my physical constitution I am but an ordinary man … Yet some great events, some cutting expressions, some mean hypocracies, have at times thrown this assemblage of sloth, sleep, and littleness into rage like a lion.
** (26 April 1779)

* The Christian religion is, above all the religions that ever prevailed or existed in ancient or modern times, the religion of wisdom, virtue, equity, and humanity, let the blackguard [[Thomas Paine|Paine]] say what he will; it is resignation to God, it is goodness itself to man.
** (26 July 1796). &lt;!-- Works, Vol. III, p. 421 --&gt;

* [[Tacitus]] appears to have been as great an enthusiast as [[Petrarch]] for the revival of the republic and universal empire. He has exerted the vengeance of history upon the emperors, but has veiled the conspiracies against them, and the incorrigible corruption of the people which probably provoked their most atrocious cruelties. '''Tyranny can scarcely be practised upon a virtuous and wise people.'''
** (31 July 1796)

* '''It is folly to anticipate evils, and madness to create imaginary ones.'''
** (4 August 1796)

* ''Omnium rerum domina, virtus.'' '''Virtue is the mistress of all things. Virtue is the master of all things.''' Therefore a nation that should never do wrong must necessarily govern the world. The might of virtue, the power of virtue, is not a very common topic, not so common as it should be.
** (6 August 1796)

*If you were a tear in my eyes l would not cry for I risk losing you.
(Junior Zakeyo)20th

=== 1760s ===
==== ''A Dissertation on the Canon and Feudal Law'' (1765) ====
[[File:Dreifachschleuse Guntramsdorf.jpg|thumb|Let every sluice of [[knowledge]] be opened and set a-flowing.]]
[[File:Earthbound.jpg|thumb|[[Liberty]] cannot be preserved without a general [[knowledge]] among the people, who have a right [...] to knowledge, [...] an indisputable, unalienable, indefeasible, divine right to that most dreaded and envied kind of knowledge, I mean, of the [[characters]] and [[conduct]] of their rulers.]]
[[File:John Adams (1766).jpg|thumb|Consenting to [[slavery]] is a sacrilegious breach of [[trust]], as offensive in the sight of [[God]] as it is derogatory from our own honor or interest or [[happiness]].]]
:&lt;small&gt;[https://web.archive.org/web/20020901112818/http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/index.asp?document=43 ''A Dissertation on the Canon and Feudal Law'' (1765)]&lt;/small&gt;

*A native of America who cannot read and write is as rare an appearance as a Jacobite or a Roman Catholic, that is, as rare as a comet or an earthquake. 

* '''The preservation of the means of knowledge among the lowest ranks is of more importance to the public than all the property of all the rich men in the country.'''

* I always consider the settlement of America with reverence and wonder, as the opening of a grand scene and design in providence, for the illumination of the ignorant and the emancipation of the slavish part of mankind all over the earth.

* '''The poor people, it is true, have been much less successful than the great.''' They have seldom found either leisure or opportunity to form a union and exert their strength; ignorant as they were of arts and letters, they have seldom been able to frame and support a regular opposition. This, however, has been known by the great to be the temper of mankind; and they have accordingly labored, in all ages, to wrest from the populace, as they are contemptuously called, the knowledge of their rights and wrongs, and the power to assert the former or redress the latter. '''I say RIGHTS, for such they have, undoubtedly, antecedent to all earthly government, — Rights, that cannot be repealed or restrained by human laws — Rights, derived from the great Legislator of the universe.'''

* '''Liberty must at all hazards be supported.''' We have a right to it, derived from our Maker. But if we had not, our fathers have earned and bought it for us, at the expense of their ease, their estates, their pleasure, and their blood.

* '''Liberty cannot be preserved without a general knowledge among the people, who have a right, from the frame of their nature, to knowledge, as their great Creator, who does nothing in vain, has given them understandings, and a desire to know; but besides this, they have a right, an indisputable, unalienable, indefeasible, divine right to that most dreaded and envied kind of knowledge, I mean, of the characters and conduct of their rulers.''' Rulers are no more than attorneys, agents, and trustees, of the people; and if the cause, the interest, and trust, is insidiously betrayed, or wantonly trifled away, the people have a right to revoke the authority that they themselves have deputed, and to constitute other and better agents, attorneys and trustees.

* '''The jaws of power are always open to devour, and her arm is always stretched out, if possible, to destroy the freedom of thinking, speaking, and writing.'''

* Be not intimidated, therefore, by any terrors, from publishing with the utmost freedom, whatever can be warranted by the laws of your country; nor suffer yourselves to be wheedled out of your liberties by any pretenses of politeness, delicacy, or decency. These, as they are often used, are but three different names for hypocrisy, chicanery, and cowardice.

* Let us banish for ever from our minds, my countrymen, all such unworthy ideas of the king, his ministry, and parliament. Let us not suppose that all are become luxurious, effeminate, and unreasonable, on the other side the water, as many designing persons would insinuate. Let us presume, what is in fact true, that '''the spirit of liberty is as ardent as ever among the body of the nation, though a few individuals may be corrupted.'''

* Let us tenderly and kindly cherish, therefore, the means of knowledge. '''Let us dare to read, think, speak, and write. Let every order and degree among the people rouse their attention and animate their resolution.''' Let them all become attentive to the grounds and principles of government, ecclesiastical and civil. Let us study the law of nature; search into the spirit of the British constitution; read the histories of ancient ages; contemplate the great examples of Greece and Rome; set before us the conduct of our own British ancestors, who have defended for us the inherent rights of mankind against foreign and domestic tyrants and usurpers, against arbitrary kings and cruel priests, in short, against the gates of earth and hell.

* '''Let the pulpit resound with the doctrines and sentiments of religious liberty.''' Let us hear the danger of thralldom to our consciences from ignorance, extreme poverty, and dependence, in short, from civil and political slavery. Let us see delineated before us the true map of man. Let us hear the dignity of his nature, and the noble rank he holds among the works of [[God]], that consenting to slavery is a sacrilegious breach of trust, as offensive in the sight of God as it is derogatory from our own honor or interest or happiness, and that God Almighty has promulgated from heaven, liberty, peace, and good-will to man!

* '''Let the bar proclaim, &quot;the laws, the rights, the generous plan of power&quot; delivered down from remote antiquity, inform the world of the mighty struggles and numberless sacrifices made by our ancestors in defense of freedom.''' Let it be known, that British liberties are not the grants of princes or parliaments, but original rights, conditions of original contracts, coequal with prerogative, and coeval with government; that many of our rights are inherent and essential, agreed on as maxims, and established as preliminaries, even before a parliament existed. Let them search for the foundations of British laws and government in the frame of human nature, in the constitution of the intellectual and moral world. There let us see that truth, liberty, justice, and benevolence, are its everlasting basis; and if these could be removed, the superstructure is overthrown of course.

* '''Let every declamation turn upon the [[beauty]] of [[liberty]] and [[virtue]], and the [[deformity]], [[turpitude]], and [[malignity]], of [[slavery]] and [[vice]].''' Let the public disputations become researches into the grounds and [[nature]] and [[ends]] of [[government]], and the means of preserving the [[good]] and demolishing the [[evil]]. Let the dialogues, and all the exercises, become the instruments of impressing on the tender [[mind]], and of spreading and distributing far and wide, the [[ideas]] of [[Righteousness]] and the sensations of [[freedom]]. &lt;br /&gt; In a word, '''let every sluice of [[knowledge]] be opened and set a-flowing.'''

* The encroachments upon liberty in the reigns of [[James I of England|the first James]] and [[Charles I of England|the first Charles]], by turning the general attention of learned men to government, are said to have produced the greatest number of consummate statesmen which has ever been seen in any age or nation.

* '''There seems to be a direct and formal design on foot, to enslave all America. This, however, must be done by degrees. The first step that is intended, seems to be an entire subversion of the whole system of our fathers, by the introduction of the canon and feudal law into America.''' The canon and feudal systems, though greatly mutilated in England, are not yet destroyed. Like the temples and palaces in which the great contrivers of them once worshipped and inhabited, they exist in ruins; and much of the domineering spirit of them still remains. The designs and labors of a certain society, to introduce the former of them into America, have been well exposed to the public by a writer of great abilities; and the further attempts to the same purpose, that may be made by that society, or by the ministry or parliament, I leave to the conjectures of the thoughtful.

* These are not the vapors of a melancholy mind, nor the effusions of envy, disappointed ambition, nor of a spirit of opposition to government, but the emanations of a heart that burns for its country's welfare. No one of any feeling, born and educated in this once happy country, can consider the numerous distresses, the gross indignities, the barbarous ignorance, the haughty usurpations, that we have reason to fear are meditating for ourselves, our children, our neighbors, in short, for all our countrymen and all their posterity, without the utmost agonies of heart and many tears.

=== 1770s ===
* We find, in the rules laid down by the greatest English Judges, who have been the brightest of mankind; We are to look upon it as more beneficial, that many guilty persons should escape unpunished, than one innocent person should suffer. The reason is, because it’s of more importance to community, that innocence should be protected, than it is, that guilt should be punished; for guilt and crimes are so frequent in the world, that all of them cannot be punished; and many times they happen in such a manner, that it is not of much consequence to the public, whether they are punished or not. But when innocence itself, is brought to the bar and condemned, especially to die, the subject will exclaim, it is immaterial to me, whether I behave well or ill; for virtue itself, is no security. And if such a sentiment as this, should take place in the mind of the subject, there would be an end to all security what so ever.
** In Adams' Argument for the Defense in the case of Rex v. Wemms: Suffolk Superior Court, Boston, 3-4 December, 1770; source &quot;The Adams Papers&quot;, http://rotunda.upress.virginia.edu/

* '''There is [[danger]] from all [[men]]. The only maxim of a free [[government]] ought to be to [[trust]] no man living with [[power]] to endanger the public [[liberty]].'''
** Notes for an oration at Braintree (Spring 1772)

* But a Constitution of Government once changed from Freedom, can never be restored. Liberty, once lost, is lost forever.
** Letter to [[Abigail Adams]] (7 July 1775)

* But America is a great, unwieldy Body. Its Progress must be slow. It is like a large Fleet sailing under Convoy. The fleetest Sailors must wait for the dullest and slowest. Like a Coach and six—the swiftest Horses must be slackened and the slowest quickened, that all may keep an even Pace.
** Letter to [[Abigail Adams]] (17 July 1775); in L. H. Butterfield, ed., ''Adams Family Correspondence'' (1963), vol. 1, p. 216

* This book is a long conference of God, the angels, and Mahomet, which that false prophet very grossly invented; sometimes he introduceth God, who speaketh to him, and teacheth him his law, then an angel, among the prophets, and frequently maketh God to speak in the plural. … Thou wilt wonder that such absurdities have infected the best part of the world, and wilt avouch, that the knowledge of what is contained in this book, will render that law contemptible …
** John Adams: John Adams Library (Boston Public Library) BRL; Du Ryer, André, ca. 1580-ca. 1660, tr; Adams, John, 1735-1826, former owner, &quot;[{{Reference archive|1=http://ia700200.us.archive.org/4/items/korancommonlycal00john/korancommonlycal00john.pdf|2=2013-05-01}} The Koran : commonly called the Alcoran of Mahomet (1806)],&quot; Springfield [Mass.] : Printed by Henry Brewer, for Isaiah Thomas, Jun.

* '''[[Human nature]] with all its infirmities and depravation is still capable of [[great]] things.''' It is capable of attaining to degrees of [[wisdom]] and [[goodness]], which we have [[reason]] to believe, appear as respectable in the estimation of superior [[intelligence|intelligences]]. '''[[Education]] makes a greater difference between [[man]] and man, than nature has made between man and brute.''' The [[virtues]] and [[powers]] to which men may be trained, by early education and constant [[discipline]], are truly sublime and astonishing. [[Isaac Newton|Newton]] and [[John Locke|Locke]] are examples of the deep sagacity which may be acquired by long habits of thinking and study.
** Letter to [[Abigail Adams]] (29 October 1775), published ''Letters of John Adams, Addressed to His Wife'', Vol. 1 (1841), ed. Charles Francis Adams, p. 72

* There is, in the human Breast, a social Affection, which extends to our whole Species.
** [http://scholarship.kentlaw.iit.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2785&amp;context=cklawreview Letter to Abigail Adams] (19 October 1775). Reprinted in I ADAMS FAMILY CORRESPONDENCE 318 (L. Butterfield ed. 1963).

* I agree with you that in [[politics]] the middle way is none at all.
** Letter to Horatio Gates (23 March 1776)

* Let them revere nothing but religion, morality and liberty.
** Letter to Abigail Adams (15 April 1776) [http://www.masshist.org/digitaladams/aea/cfm/doc.cfm?id=L17760415ja]

* Is there no way for two friendly souls to converse together, although the bodies are 400 miles off? Yes, by letter. But I want a better communication. I want to hear your think, or to see your thoughts.&lt;br/&gt;The conclusion of your letter makes my heart throb more than a cannonade would. '''You bid me burn your letters. But I must forget you first.'''
** Letter to Abigail Adams (28 April 1776)

* '''There is something very unnatural and odious in a government a thousand leagues off.''' A whole government of our own choice, managed by persons whom we love, revere, and can confide in, has charms in it for which men will fight.
** Letter to Abigail Adams (17 May 1776)

* '''Objects of the most Stupendous Magnitude, Measures in which the Lives and Liberties of Millions, born and unborn are most essentially interested, are now before Us. We are in the very midst of a Revolution, the most compleat, unexpected, and remarkable of any in the History of Nations'''. A few Matters must be dispatched before I can return. Every Colony must be induced to institute a perfect Government. All the Colonies must confederate together, in some solemn Compact. The Colonies must be declared free and independent states, and Embassadors, must be Sent abroad to foreign Courts, to solicit their Acknowledgment of Us, as Sovereign States, and to form with them, at least with some of them commercial Treaties of Friendship and Alliance. When these Things shall be once well finished, or in a Way of being so, I shall think that I have answered the End of my Creation, and sing with Pleasure my Nunc Dimittes, or if it should be the Will of Heaven that I should live a little longer, return to my Farm and Family, ride Circuits, plead Law, or judge Causes, just as you please.
** [http://www.masshist.org/publications/apde2/view?id=ADMS-06-04-02-0109 Letter to William Cushing] (9 June 1776).

* '''Statesmen, my dear Sir, may plan and speculate for Liberty, but it is Religion and Morality alone, which can establish the Principles upon which Freedom can securely stand.''' The only foundation of a free Constitution is pure Virtue, and if this cannot be inspired into our People in a greater Measure than they have it now, They may change their Rulers and the forms of Government, but they will not obtain a lasting Liberty. They will only exchange Tyrants and Tyrannies.
** [http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/r?ammem/hlaw:@field(DOCID+@lit(dg004210)) Letter] to [[w:Zabdiel Adams|Zabdiel Adams]] (21 June 1776)

* '''Yesterday the greatest question was decided which ever was debated in America; and a greater perhaps never was, nor will be, decided among men. A resolution was passed without one dissenting colony, &quot;that these United Colonies are, and of right ought to be, free and independent States.&quot;'''
** On the decision to proclaim independence from British rule, which was made on 2 July 1776, in a letter to Abigail Adams (3 July 1776), published in ''The Adams Papers: Adams Family Correspondence'' (2007) edited by Margaret A. Hogan

* '''I am well aware of the Toil and Blood and Treasure, that it will cost Us to maintain this Declaration, and support and defend these States. Yet through all the Gloom I can see the Rays of ravishing Light and Glory.''' I can see that the End is more than worth all the Means. And that Posterity will triumph in that Days Transaction, even although We should rue it, which I trust in God We shall not.
** Letter to Abigail Adams (3 July 1776), published in ''The Adams Papers: Adams Family Correspondence'' (2007) edited by Margaret A. Hogan

* '''I am surprised at the suddenness as well as the greatness of this revolution... It is the will of Heaven that the two countries should be sundered forever.''' It may be the will of Heaven that America shall suffer calamities still more wasting, and distresses yet more dreadful. If this is to be the case it will have this good effect at least. It will inspire us with many virtues which we have not, and correct many errors, follies, and vices which threaten to disturb, dishonor, and destroy us. '''The furnace of affliction produces refinement in states as well as individuals. And the new Governments we are assuming in every part will require a purification from our vices, and an augmentation of our virtues, or they will be no blessings.''' The people will have unbounded power, and the people are extremely addicted to corruption and venality, as well as the great. But I must submit all my hopes and fears to an overruling Providence, in which, unfashionable as the faith may be, I firmly believe.
** Letter to Abigail Adams (3 July 1776)

* The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epocha in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forevermore.
** Letter to Abigail Adams (3 July 1776); because of the official adoption of the [[w:United States Declaration of Independence|United States Declaration of Independence]] two days later, the fourth of July rather than the second, became known as the U.S. [[w:Independence Day (United States)|Independence Day]]

* I long for rural and domestic scenes, for the warbling of Birds and the Prattle of my Children. Don't you think I am somewhat poetical this morning, for one of my Years, and considering the Gravity, and Insipidity of my Employment? — As much as I converse with Sages and Heroes, they have very little of my Love or Admiration. I should prefer the Delights of a Garden to the Dominion of a World.
** [http://www.masshist.org/digitaladams/aea/cfm/doc.cfm?id=L17770316ja Letter] to Abigail Adams (16 March 1777)

* '''Posterity! You will never know, how much it cost the present generation, to preserve your Freedom! — I hope you will make a good use of it. — if you do not, I shall repent in Heaven, that I ever took half the pains to preserve it. —'''
** Letter to [[Abigail Adams]] (27 April 1777), published as Letter CXI in ''Letters of John Adams, Addressed to His Wife'' (1841) edited by Charles Francis Adams, p. 218

* I believe there is no one Principle, which predominates in human Nature so much in every Stage of Life, from the Cradle to the Grave, in Males and females, old and young, black and white, rich and poor, high and low, as this Passion for Superiority.
**Letter to Abigail Adams (22 May 1777), as quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=WbFznb7PSGsC&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;source=gbs_ge_summary_r&amp;cad=0#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false ''And the War Came: The Slavery Quarrel and the American Civil War''], by Donald J. Meyers
==== Boston Massacre trial (1770) ====
[[File:Abigail Adams by Gilbert Stuart.jpg|thumb|You bid me burn your letters. But I must forget you first.]]
:&lt;small&gt;In 1770, Adams defended the British soldiers who were charged with committing murder at the Boston Massacre&lt;/small&gt;

* '''...it is more importance to the community, that innocence be protected, than it is, that guilt be punished; for guilt and crimes are so frequent in the world, that all of them cannot be punished'''; and many times they happen in such a manner, that it is not of much consequence to the public, whether they are punished or not. But when innocence itself, is brought to the bar and condemned, especially to die, the subject will exclaim, it is immaterial to me whether I behave well or ill, for virtue itself is no security. And if such a sentiment as this should take place in the mind of the subject, there would be an end to all security whatsoever.

*  We have been entertained with a great variety of phrases, to avoid calling this sort of people a [[mob]]. Some call them shavers, some call them geniuses. The plain English is, gentlemen, most probably '''a motley rabble of saucy boys, negroes and mulattoes, Irish teagues and outlandish jack tars.'''

* '''[[Facts]] are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our [[passion]], they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence'''...

* The law no passion can disturb. 'Tis void of desire and fear, lust and anger. 'Tis ''mens sine affectu'', written reason, retaining some measure of the divine perfection. It does not enjoin that which pleases a weak, frail man, but, without any regard to persons, commands that which is good and punishes evil in all, whether rich or poor, high or low. 'Tis deaf, inexorable, inflexible. '''On the one hand it is inexorable to the cries and lamentations of the prisoners; on the other it is deaf, deaf as an adder to the clamors of the populace.'''

==== ''Novanglus essays'' (1774&amp;ndash;1775) ====
:&lt;small&gt;''[[s:Novanglus Essays|Novanglus; or, A History of the Dispute with America, From Its Origin, in 1754, to the Present Time]]''. first published in the ''Boston Gazette''&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Nip the shoots of arbitrary power in the bud, is the only maxim which can ever preserve the liberties of any people.'''
** [[s:Novanglus Essays/No. 3|No. 3]]

* We are told: &quot;It is a universal truth, that he that would excite a rebellion, is at heart as great a tyrant as ever wielded the iron rod of oppression.&quot; Be it so. We are not exciting a rebellion. '''Opposition, nay, open, avowed resistance by arms, against usurpation and lawless violence, is not rebellion by the law of God or the land.''' Resistance to lawful authority makes rebellion. … '''Remember the frank Veteran acknowledges, that &quot;the word rebel is a convertible term.&quot;'''
** [[s:Novanglus Essays/No. 5|No. 5]]

* '''A government of laws, and not of men.'''
** [[s:Novanglus Essays/No. 7|No. 7]];  this was incorporated into the Massachusetts Constitution in 1780

* '''Metaphysicians and politicians may dispute forever, but they will never find any other moral principle or foundation of rule or obedience, than the consent of governors and governed.'''
**  No. 7

==== ''Thoughts on Government'' (1776) ====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.britannica.com/eb/article-9116853/Document-John-Adams-The-Foundation-of-Government Letter to George Wythe, April 1776]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''We ought to consider what is the end of government, before we determine which is the best form.''' Upon this point all speculative politicians will agree, that the happiness of society is the end of government, as all Divines and moral Philosophers will agree that the happiness of the individual is the end of man. From this principle it will follow, that the form of government which communicates ease, comfort, security, or, in one word, happiness, to the greatest number of persons, and in the greatest degree, is the best.

* '''Fear is the foundation of most governments; but it is so sordid and brutal a passion, and renders men in whose breasts it predominates so stupid and miserable, that Americans will not be likely to approve of any political institution which is founded on it.'''

* '''When annual elections end, there slavery begins.'''

* Laws for the liberal education of youth, especially of the lower class of people, are so extremely wise and useful, that, to a humane and generous mind, no expense for this purpose would be thought extravagant.

* '''The judicial power ought to be distinct from both the legislative and executive, and independent upon both, that so it may be a check upon both, as both should be checks upon that'''.

=== 1780s ===
* '''The [[Science]] of [[Government]] it is my Duty to study, more than all other Sciences: the [[Art]] of Legislation and Administration and Negotiation, ought to take Place, indeed to exclude in a manner all other Arts. I must study [[Politicks]] and [[War]] that my sons may have [[liberty]] to study [[Mathematicks]] and [[Philosophy]].''' My sons ought to study Mathematicks and Philosophy, Geography, natural History, Naval Architecture, navigation, Commerce and Agriculture, in order to give their Children a right to study [[Painting]], [[Poetry]], [[Musick]], [[Architecture]], Statuary, Tapestry and Porcelaine.
** [https://www.masshist.org/digitaladams/archive/doc?id=L17800512jasecond Letter to Abigail Adams (12 May 1780)]

* '''There is nothing which I dread so much as a division of the republic into two great parties, each arranged under its leader, and concerting measures in opposition to each other. This, in my humble apprehension, is to be dreaded as the greatest political evil under our Constitution.'''
** Letter to Jonathan Jackson (2 October 1780), [http://books.google.com/books?id=j9NKAAAAYAAJ&amp;dq=John%20Adams%20works&amp;pg=PA511#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false &quot;The Works of John Adams&quot;], vol 9, p. 511

* The invasion of Georgia and South Carolina is the first. But why should the invasion of these two States affect the credit of the thirteen, more than the invasion of any two others? Massachusetts and Rhode Island have been invaded by armies much more formidable. New York, Connecticut, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Maryland, and Virginia, have been all invaded before. But what has been the issue? Not conquest, not submission. On the contrary, all those States have learned the art of war and the habits of submission to military discipline, and have got themselves well armed, nay, clothed and furnished with a great deal of hard money by these very invasions. And what is more than all the rest, they have got over the fears and terrors that are always occasioned by a first invasion, and are a worse enemy than the English; and besides, they have had such experience of the tyranny and cruelty of the English as have made them more resolute than ever against the English government. Now, why should not the invasion of Georgia and Carolina have the same effects? It is very certain, in the opinion of the Americans themselves, that it will. Besides, '''the unexampled cruelty of Cornwallis has been enough to revolt even negroes'''; it has been such as will make the English objects of greater horror there than in any of the other States.
** [http://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/2105#lf1431-07_head_239 Letter to Baron Van Der Capellen (21 January 1781), Amsterdam.] 

* [[Great Britain]] has been moving earth and hell to obtain allies against [[United States|us]], yet it is improper in us to propose an alliance! Great Britain has borrowed all the superfluous wealth of Europe, in Italy, Germany, Holland, Switzerland, and some in France, to murder us, yet it is dishonorable in us to propose to borrow money! By heaven, I would make a bargain with all [[Europe]], if it lay with me. Let all Europe stand still, neither lend men nor money nor ships to England nor America, and let them fight it out alone. I would give my share of millions for such a bargain. America is treated unfairly and ungenerously by Europe. But thus it is, mankind will be servile to tyrannical masters, and basely devoted to vile idols.
** [http://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/2105#lf1431-07_head_273 Letter to B. Franklin (16 April 1781), Leyden.]

* You will never be alone with a poet in your pocket.
** Letter to [[John Quincy Adams]] (14 May 1781)

* Thanks be to God, that he gave me Stubborness, when I know I am right.
** [http://founders.archives.gov/documents/Adams/06-13-02-0217 Letter to Edmund Jenings, 27 September 1782], also quoted in ''John Adams'' (2008) by [[w:David McCullough|David McCullough]], p.&amp;nbsp;272

* Neither my father or mother, grandfather or grandmother, great grandfather or great grandmother, nor any other relation that I know of, or care a farthing for, has been in England these one hundred and fifty years; so that you see '''I have not one drop of blood in my veins but what is American.'''
** To an ambassador (1785), as quoted in ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=lWcsAAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA392 The Works of John Adams, Second President of the United States: Autobiography]'' (1851), by Charles F. Adams, p. 392.

* All the perplexities, confusions, and distresses in America arise, not from defects in their constitution or confederation, not from a want of honor or virtue, so much as from downright ignorance of the nature of coin, credit, and circulation.
** Letter to [[Thomas Jefferson]] (23 August 1787), ''The Works of John Adams''.

* The new Government has my best Wishes and most fervent Prayers, for its Success and Prosperity: but whether I shall have any Thing more to do with it, besides praying for it, depends on the future suffrages of Freemen.
** Letter to Thomas Jefferson (2 January 1789), ''The Papers of Thomas Jefferson''.

==== Letter to John Jay (1786) ====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://founders.archives.gov/documents/Jefferson/01-09-02-0315 Letter to John Jay] (28 March 1786), written with Thomas Jefferson.&lt;/small&gt;
* We took the liberty to make some enquiries concerning the ground of their pretentions to make war upon nations who had done them no injury, and observed that we considered all mankind as our friends who had done us no wrong, nor had given us any provocation.

* The Ambassador answered us that it was founded on the laws of their [[Mohammed|Prophet]]; that it was written in their [[Koran]]; that all nations who should not have acknowledged their authority were sinners; that it was their right and duty to make war upon them wherever they could be found, and to make slaves of all they could take as prisoners; and that every [[Muslim|Mussulman]] who was slain in battle was sure to go to Paradise. He said, also, that the man who was the first to board a vessel had one slave over and above his share, and that when they sprang to the deck of an enemy's ship, every sailor held a dagger in each hand and a third in his mouth; which usually struck such terror into the foe that they cried out for quarter at once. That it was a law that the first who boarded an Enemy’s Vessell should have one slave.
** Concerning an interview in London with the ambassador from Tripoli, Sidi Haji Abdul Rahman Adja.

==== ''A Defence of the Constitutions of Government'' (1787) ====
:&lt;small&gt;''A Defence of the Constitutions of Government of the United States of America'' (3 Volumes, 1787), republished in the 10 volume ''The Works of John Adams'' (1850 - 1856) edited [[w:Charles Francis Adams, Sr.|Charles Francis Adams]]&lt;/small&gt;

* The rich, the well-born, and the able, acquire an influence among the people that will soon be too much for simple honesty and plain sense, in a house of representatives. The most illustrious of them must, therefore, be separated from the mass, and placed by themselves in a senate; this is, to all honest and useful intents, an ostracism.
** Vol. I, Preface, p. xi &lt;!-- Vol. 1, republished in ''The Works of John Adams, Second President of the United States'' (1865), Vol IV, p. 290 --&gt;

* The English nation, for their improvements in the theory of government, has, at least, more merit with the human race than any other among the moderns. The late most beautiful and liberal speculations of many writers, in various parts of Europe, are manifestly derived from English sources. Americans, too, ought for ever to acknowledge their obligations to English writers, or rather have as good a right to indulge a pride in the recollection of them as the inhabitants of the three kingdoms. The original plantation of our country was occasioned, her continual growth has been promoted, and her present liberties have been established by these generous theories.
** Ch. 1 Marchamont Nedham : The Right Constitution of a Commonwealth Examined&quot; &lt;!-- ''The Works of John Adams, Second President of the United States'' vol. VI (1851) p. 3 --&gt;

* The militia and sovereignty are inseparable. In the English constitution, if the whole nation were a militia, there would be a militia to defend the crown, the lords, or the commons, if either were attacked. The crown, though it commands them, has no power to use them improperly, because it cannot pay or subsist them without the consent of the lords and commons; but if the militia are to obey a sovereignty in a single assembly, it is commanded, paid, and subsisted, and a standing army, too, may be raised, paid, and subsisted, by the vote of a majority; the militia, then, must all obey the sovereign majority, or divide, and part follow the majority, and part the minority. This last case is civil war; but, until it comes to this, the whole militia may be employed by the majority in any degree of tyranny and oppression over the minority. The constitution furnishes no resource or remedy; nothing affords a chance of relief but rebellion and civil war. If this terminates in favor of the minority, they will tyrannize in their turn, exasperated by revenge, in addition to ambition and avarice; if the majority prevail, their domination becomes more cruel, and soon ends in one despot. '''It must be made a sacred maxim, that the militia obey the executive power, which represents the whole people in the execution of laws.''' To suppose arms in the hands of citizens, to be used at individual discretion, except in private self-defence, or by partial orders of towns, counties, or districts of a state, is to demolish every constitution, and lay the laws prostrate, so that liberty can be enjoyed by no man; it is a dissolution of the government. The fundamental law of the militia is, that it be created, directed, and commanded by the laws, and ever for the support of the laws.
** Ch. 3 Marchamont Nedham : Errors of Government and Rules of Policy&quot; Sixth Rule &lt;!-- ''The Works of John Adams, Second President of the United States'' vol. VI (1851) p. 197 --&gt;

* '''Children should be educated and instructed in the principles of freedom.'''
** Ch. 3 Marchamont Nedham : Errors of Government and Rules of Policy&quot; Seventh Rule &lt;!-- ''The Works of John Adams, Second President of the United States'' vol. VI (1851) p. 197 --&gt;

* '''The moment the idea is admitted into society, that property is not as sacred as the law of God, and that there is not a force of law and public justice to protect it, anarchy and tyranny commence.''' If &quot;Thou shall not covet,&quot; and &quot;Thou shall not steal,&quot; are not commandments of Heaven, they must be made inviolable precepts in every society, before it can be civilized or made free.
** [http://press-pubs.uchicago.edu/founders/print_documents/v1ch16s15.html Ch. 1 Marchamont Nedham : The Right Constitution of a Commonwealth Examined] &lt;!-- ''The Works of John Adams, Second President of the United States'' vol. VI (1851) p. 9 --&gt;

[[File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|thumb|Killing one tyrant only makes way for worse, unless the people have sense, spirit and honesty enough to establish and support a constitution guarded at all points against the tyranny of the one, the few, and the many.]]
* '''The right of a nation to kill a tyrant, in cases of necessity, can no more be doubted, than to hang a robber, or kill a flea. But killing one tyrant only makes way for worse, unless the people have sense, spirit and honesty enough to establish and support a constitution guarded at all points against the tyranny of the one, the few, and the many.''' Let it be the study, therefore, of lawgivers and philosophers, to enlighten the people's understandings and improve their morals, by good and general education; to enable them to comprehend the scheme of government, and to know upon what points their liberties depend; to dissipate those vulgar prejudices and popular superstitions that oppose themselves to good government; and to teach them that obedience to the laws is as indispensable in them as in lords and kings.
** [http://press-pubs.uchicago.edu/founders/documents/v1ch18s17.html Ch. 18]

* '''A single assembly will never be a steady guardian of the laws''', if [[Niccolò Machiavelli|Machiavel]] is right, when he says, Men are never good but through necessity: on the contrary, when good and evil are left to their choice, they will not fail to throw every thing into disorder and confusion. Hunger and poverty may make men industrious, but laws only can make them good; for, if men were so of themselves, there would be no occasion for laws; but, as the case is far otherwise, they are absolutely necessary.
** [http://www.constitution.org/jadams/ja1_26.htm Vol. I, letter XXVI Ch. 4 Opinions of Philosophers : Dr. Price] &lt;!-- Vol. IV, 1865 p. 410 --&gt;

* The proposition, that the people are the best keepers of their own liberties, is not true; they are the worst conceivable; they are no keepers at all; they can neither judge, act, think, or will, as a political body.
** This is attributed to Adams in ''The Life of Thomas Jefferson'' (1858) by Henry Stephens Randall, p.&amp;nbsp;587

* There never was yet a people who must not have somebody or something to represent the dignity of the state, the majesty of the people, call it what you will — a doge, an avoyer, an archon, a president, a consul, a syndic; this becomes at once an object of ambition and dispute, and, in time, of division, faction, sedition, and rebellion.
** [http://www.constitution.org/jadams/ja1_55.htm Letter LV: Conclusion]

=== 1790s ===
* The History of our Revolution will be one continued Lye from one end to the other. The essence of the whole will be ''that [[Benjamin Franklin|Dr. Franklins]] electrical Rod, smote the Earth and out sprung [[George Washington|General Washington]]. That Franklin electrified him with his rod—and thence forward these two conducted all the Policy, Negotiations, Legislatures and War''.
** Letter to [[w:Benjamin Rush|Benjamin Rush]], 4 April 1790. [[w:Alexander Biddle|Alexander Biddle]], ''Old Family Letters, Series A'' (Philadelphia: 1892), [http://books.google.com/books?id=5d8hAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA55 p. 55]&lt;!-- emphasis in original, which continues &quot;These underscored Lines contain the whole Fable Plot and Catastrophy.&quot; --&gt;

* My country has in its wisdom contrived for me the most insignificant office that ever the invention of man contrived or his imagination conceived; and as I can do neither good nor evil, I must be borne away by others and meet the common fate.
** On the [[w:Vice President of the United States|Vice-Presidency]] of the United States, in a letter to Abigail Adams (19 December 1793).

* I read my eyes out and can't read half enough. … The more one reads the more one sees we have to read.
** Letter to Abigail Adams (28 December 1794), ''Adams Papers, Massachusetts Historical Society''

* The consequences arising from the continual accumulation of public debts in other countries ought to admonish us to be careful to prevent their growth in our own.
** [http://books.google.com/books?id=_EeUpTCXs1sC&amp;pg=PA115&amp;dq=%22The+consequences+arising+from+the+continual+accumulation+of+public+debts+in+other+countries+ought+to+admonish+us+to+be+careful+to+prevent+their+growth+in+our+own%22&amp;hl=en&amp;ei=wqNLTKb7G42NnQeo_52CDw&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=book_result&amp;ct=result&amp;resnum=1&amp;ved=0CCcQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&amp;q=%22The%20consequences%20arising%20from%20the%20continual%20accumulation%20of%20public%20debts%20in%20other%20countries%20ought%20to%20admonish%20us%20to%20be%20careful%20to%20prevent%20their%20growth%20in%20our%20own%22&amp;f=false First Address to Congress (23 November 1797)]

*[N]o pretext, arising from religious opinions, shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20150712204904/http://iipdigital.usembassy.gov/st/english/publication/2013/11/20131104285694.html#axzz3sjER1BV1 Treaty with the bey of Tunis] (1797).

* While our country remains untainted with the principles and manners which are now producing desolation in so many parts of the world; while she continues sincere, and incapable of insidious and impious policy, we shall have the strongest reason to rejoice in the local destination assigned us by Providence. But should the people of America once become capable of that deep simulation towards one another, and towards foreign nations, which assumes the language of justice and moderation, while it is practising iniquity and extravagance, and displays in the most captivating manner the charming pictures of candour, frankness, and sincerity, while it is rioting in rapine and insolence, this country will be the most miserable habitation in the world. Because '''we have no government, armed with power, capable of contending with human passions, unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge and licentiousness would break the strongest cords of our Constitution, as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.''' Oaths in this country are as yet universally considered as sacred obligations. That which you have taken, and so solemnly repeated on that venerable ground, is an ample pledge of your sincerity and devotion to your country and its government.
** Letter to the Officers of the First Brigade of the Third Division of the Militia of Massachusetts, 11 October 1798, in [http://books.google.com/books?id=E2kFAAAAQAAJ&amp;dq=editions%3AVsZcW99fWPgC&amp;pg=PA265#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Revolutionary Services and Civil Life of General William Hull] (New York, 1848), pp 265-6. There are some differences in the version that appeared in ''The Works of John Adams'' (Boston, 1854), [http://books.google.com/books?id=PZYKAQAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA228#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false vol. 9, pp. 228-9], most notably the words &quot;or gallantry&quot; instead of &quot;and licentiousness&quot;.

* I have thought proper to recommend, and I do hereby recommend accordingly, that Thursday, the 25th day of April next, be observed throughout the United States of America as a day of solemn humiliation, fasting, and prayer; that the citizens on that day abstain as far as may be from their secular occupations, devote the time to the sacred duties of religion in public and in private; that they call to mind our numerous offenses against the Most High God, confess them before Him with the sincerest penitence, implore His pardoning mercy, through the Great Mediator and Redeemer, for our past transgressions, and that through the grace of His Holy Spirit we may be disposed and enabled to yield a more suitable obedience to His righteous requisitions in time to come; that He would interpose to arrest the progress of that impiety and licentiousness in principle and practice so offensive to Himself and so ruinous to mankind; that He would make us deeply sensible that &quot;righteousness exalteth a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people;&quot; that He would turn us from our transgressions and turn His displeasure from us; that He would withhold us from unreasonable discontent, from disunion, faction, sedition, and insurrection; that He would preserve our country from the desolating sword; that He would save our cities and towns from a repetition of those awful pestilential visitations under which they have lately suffered so severely, and that the health of our inhabitants generally may be precious in His sight; that He would favor us with fruitful seasons and so bless the labors of the husbandman as that there may be food in abundance for man and beast; that He would prosper our commerce, manufactures, and fisheries, and give success to the people in all their lawful industry and enterprise; that He would smile on our colleges, academies, schools, and seminaries of learning, and make them nurseries of sound science, morals, and religion; that He would bless all magistrates, from the highest to the lowest, give them the true spirit of their station, make them a terror to evil doers and a praise to them that do well; that He would preside over the councils of the nation at this critical period, enlighten them to a just discernment of the public interest, and save them from mistake, division, and discord; that He would make succeed our preparations for defense and bless our armaments by land and by sea; that He would put an end to the effusion of human blood and the accumulation of human misery among the contending nations of the earth by disposing them to justice, to equity, to benevolence, and to peace; and that he would extend the blessings of knowledge, of true liberty, and of pure and undefiled religion throughout the world.
** Presidential proclamation of a national day of fasting and prayer (6 March 1799)

* Although neither nation has been brought to admit that they were chargeable with the first infraction, yet no American can forget the carrying off the negroes.
** [http://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/2107#lf1431-09_head_047 Letter to T. Pickering (7 December 1799), Philadelphia.]

==== ''Discourses on Davila'' (1790) ====
:&lt;small&gt;''Discourses on Davila : A Series of Papers on Political History'' first published in the ''Gazette of the United States'' (1790-1791) ; [http://books.google.com/books?id=9fASAAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA3&amp;dq=%22Discourses+on+Davila%22&amp;ei=nNkmR6jSFZ306wKL5ek_ (Downloadable PDF of 1805 edition)]; republished with modernized spelling in [http://books.google.com/books?id=QZM8AAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA274&amp;dq=%22The+world+grows+more+enlightened%22&amp;ei=3uEmR6WiKI6M7gKOzdz_Bw ''The Works of John Adams, Second President of the United States'' vol. VI (1851)]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Caspar David Friedrich 019.jpg|thumb|The world grows more enlightened. Knowledge is more equally diffused.]]

* '''A desire to be observed, considered, esteemed, praised, beloved, and admired by his fellows is one of the earliest, as well as the keenest dispositions discovered in the heart of man.'''
** &quot;Discourses on Davila: A Series of Papers on Political History,&quot; No. 4 ''Gazette of the United States'' (1790–1791)

* '''The world grows more enlightened. Knowledge is more equally diffused.''' Newspapers, magazines, and circulating libraries have made mankind wiser. Titles and distinctions, ranks and orders, parade and ceremony, are all going out of fashion. &lt;br&gt; This is roundly and frequently asserted in the streets, and sometimes on theatres of higher ''rank''. Some truth there is in it; and if the opportunity were temperately improved, to the reformation of abuses, the rectification of errors, and the dissipation of pernicious prejudices, a great advantage it might be. But, on the other hand, false inferences may be drawn from it, which may make mankind wish for the age of dragons, giants, and fairies.
** No. 13

* '''Are riches, honors, and beauty going out of fashion? Is not the rage for them, on the contrary, increased faster than improvement in knowledge?''' As long as either of these are in vogue, will there not be emulations and rivalries? Does not the increase of knowledge in any man increase his emulation; and the diffusion of knowledge among men multiply rivalries? Has the progress of science, arts, and letters yet discovered that there are no passions in human nature? no ambition, avarice, or desire of fame? Are these passions cooled, diminished, or extinguished? Is the rage for admiration less ardent in men or women? Have these propensities less a tendency to divisions, controversies, seditions, mutinies, and civil wars than formerly? On the contrary, the more knowledge is diffused, the more the passions are extended, and the more furious they grow.
** No. 13

* '''[[Property]] must be secured, or liberty cannot exist.''' But if unlimited or unbalanced power of disposing property, be put into the hands of those who have no property, France will find, as we have found, the lamb committed to the custody of the wolf. In such a case, all the pathetic exhortations and addresses of the national assembly to the people, to respect property, will be regarded no more than the warbles of the songsters of the forest. The great art of law-giving consists in balancing the poor against the rich in the legislature, and in constituting the legislative a perfect balance against the executive power, at the same time that no individual or party can become its rival. '''The essence of a free government consists in an effectual control of rivalries.''' The executive and the legislative powers are natural rivals; and if each has not an effectual control over the other, the weaker will ever be the lamb in the paws of the wolf. The nation which will not adopt an equilibrium of power must adopt a despotism. There is no other alternative. '''Rivalries must be controlled, or they will throw all things into confusion; and there is nothing but despotism or a balance of power which can control them.'''
** No. 13

==== Inaugural Address (Saturday, March 4, 1797) ====
* When it was first perceived, in early times, that no middle course for America remained between unlimited submission to a foreign legislature and a total independence of its claims, men of reflection were less apprehensive of danger from the formidable power of fleets and armies they must determine to resist than from those contests and dissensions which would certainly arise concerning the forms of government to be instituted over the whole and over the parts of this extensive country.

* What other form of government, indeed, can so well deserve our esteem and love?

* And may that Being who is supreme over all, the Patron of Order, the Fountain of Justice, and the Protector in all ages of the world of virtuous liberty, continue His blessing upon this nation and its Government and give it all possible success and duration consistent with the ends of His providence.

=== 1800s ===
* '''I pray Heaven to bestow the best of blessings on this house and all that shall hereafter inhabit it. May none but honest and wise men ever rule under this roof.'''
** On the [[w:White House|White House]], in a letter to Abigail Adams (2 November 1800)
** [[Franklin D. Roosevelt]] had this inscribed on the mantlepiece of the State Dining Room

* I had heard my father say that he never knew a piece of land run away or break.
** ''Autobiography'' (1802–1807) &lt;!-- ''Diary and Autobiography'' (1961) edited by Lyman Henry Butterfield --&gt;

* '''There is one Resolution I will not omit. Resolved that no Slaves be imported into any of the thirteen colonies.'''
** ''Autobiography'' (1802–1807), passage on events of April 6, 1776, [https://web.archive.org/web/20111029143754/http://home.nas.com/lopresti/ps2.htm ''The Founding Fathers: John Adams: A Biography in his own Words''] (1973), by James Bishop Peabody, Newsweek, New York, p. 197

* '''Our obligations to our country never cease but with our lives.'''
** Letter to [[w:Benjamin Rush|Benjamin Rush]] (18 April 1808)

* '''I will insist that the Hebrews have done more to civilize men than any other nation. If I were an atheist, and believed in blind eternal fate, I should still believe that fate had ordained the Jews to be the most essential instrument for civilizing the nations.''' If I were an atheist of the other sect, who believe or pretend to believe that all is ordered by chance, I should believe that chance had ordered the Jews to preserve and propagate to all mankind the doctrine of a supreme, intelligent, wise, almighty sovereign of the universe, which I believe to be the great essential principle of all morality, and consequently of all civilization.
** Letter to [[w:François Adriaan van der Kemp|François Adriaan van der Kemp]] (16 February 1809)

* When I went home to my family in May, 1770, from the town meeting in Boston, which was the first I had ever attended, and where I had been chosen in my absence, without any solicitation, one of their representatives, I said to my wife, &quot;I have accepted a seat in the House of Representatives, and thereby have consented to my own ruin, to your ruin, and to the ruin of our children. I give you this warning, that you may prepare your mind for your fate.&quot; She burst into tears, but instantly cried out in a transport of magnanimity, &quot;Well, I am willing in this cause to run all risks with you, and be ruined with you, if you are ruined.&quot; These were times, my friend, in Boston, which tried women's souls as well as men's.
** [http://www.readme.it/libri/Letteratura%20Inglese/SELECTIONS%20FROM%20ADAM'S%20CORRESSPONDENCE.shtml Letter] to Benjamin Rush (12 April 1809)

==== Letter to George Churchman and Jacob Lindley (1801) ====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/2107#lf1431-09_head_111 Letter to George Churchman and Jacob Lindley (24 January 1801), Washington, D.C.]&lt;/small&gt;
* Although '''I have never sought popularity by any animated speeches or inflammatory publications against the slavery of the blacks, my opinion against it has always been known, and my practice has been so conformable to my sentiments that I have always employed freemen, both as domestics and laborers, and never in my life did I own a slave. The abolition of slavery must be gradual, and accomplished with much caution and circumspection. Violent means and measures would produce greater violations of justice and humanity than the continuance of the practice'''. Neither Mr. Mifflin nor yourselves, I presume, would be willing to venture on exertions which would probably excite insurrections among the blacks to rise against their masters, and imbue their hands in innocent blood.

* There are many other evils in our country which are growing, whereas the practice of slavery is fast diminishing, and threaten to bring punishment on our land more immediately than the oppression of the blacks. That sacred regard to truth in which you and I were educated, and which is certainly taught and enjoined from on high, seems to be vanishing from among us. A general relaxation of education and government, a general debauchery as well as dissipation, produced by pestilential philosophical principles of Epicurus, infinitely more than by shows and theatrical entertainments; these are, in my opinion, more serious and threatening evils than even the slavery of the blacks, hateful as that is. I might even add that I have been informed that the condition of the common sort of white people in some of the Southern States, particularly Virginia, is more oppressed, degraded, and miserable, than that of the negroes. These vices and these miseries deserve the serious and compassionate consideration of friends, as well as the slave trade and the degraded state of the blacks. I wish you success in your benevolent endeavors to relieve the distresses of our fellow creatures, and shall always be ready to cooperate with you as far as my means and opportunities can reasonably be expected to extend.

=== 1810s ===
* Callender and Sally will be remembered as long as Jefferson as Blotts in his Character. The story of the latter, is '''a natural and almost unavoidable Consequence of that foul contagion in the human Character [—] Negro Slavery.'''
** [http://founders.archives.gov/documents/Adams/99-02-02-5495 Letter to Joseph Ward, 8 January 1810], stating his belief in the reports of [[w:James T. Callender|James T. Callender]] that [[Thomas Jefferson]] was the father of the children of [[w:Sally Hemmings|Sally Hemmings]]; also quoted in ''Scandalmonger‎'' (2001) by [[William Safire]], p.&amp;nbsp;431

* You think it impossible the Convention could have a thought of war with Great Britain, and the conquest of Canada. In this point I differ from you very widely. The conduct of Great Britain, and the conduct of our States, too, was such as to keep up very serious apprehensions between the two powers. The treaty of peace was not fulfilled on either side.
** [http://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/adams-the-works-of-john-adams-vol-9-letters-and-state-papers-1799-1811 Letter to Josiah Quincy (9 February 1811), Quincy.]

* [[United States Declaration of Independence|The Declaration of Independence]] I always considered as a Theatrical Show. Jefferson ran away with all the stage effect of that; ''i.e.'' all the Glory of it.
** Letter to [[w:Benjamin Rush|Benjamin Rush]] (21 June 1811); published in [http://books.google.com/books?id=5d8hAAAAMAAJ&amp;dq=%22Jefferson+ran+away+with+all+the+stage+effect+of+that%22 ''Old Family Letters: Copied from the Originals for Alexander Biddle'' (1892), p. 287]; also quoted in [http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,796192-2,00.html ''TIME'' magazine (25 October 1943)]

* '''There are two tyrants in human life who domineer in all nations, in Indians and Negroes, in Tartars and Arabs, in Hindoos and Chinese, in Greeks and Romans, in Britons and Gauls, as well as in our simple, youthful, and beloved United States of America. These two tyrants are fashion and party'''. They are sometimes at variance, and I know not whether their mutual hostility is not the only security of human happiness. But they are forever struggling for an alliance with each other; and, when they are united, truth, reason, honor, justice, gratitude, and humanity itself in combination are no match for the coalition. Upon the maturest reflection of a long experience, I am much inclined to believe that fashion is the worst of all tyrants, because he is the original source, cause, preserver, and supporter of all others.
** [http://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/2127#Adams_1431-10_87 Letter to Samuel B. Malcolm (6 August 1812), Quincy.]

* '''The ''general principles'' on which the fathers achieved independence, were … the general principles of Christianity, in which all those sects were united, and the ''general principles'' of English and American liberty, in which all those young men united, and which had united all parties in America, in majorities sufficient to assert and maintain her independence.''' Now I will avow, that I then believed and now believe that those general principles of Christianity are as eternal and immutable as the existence and attributes of God; and that those principles of liberty are as unalterable as human nature and our terrestrial, mundane system.
** Letter to Thomas Jefferson, 28 June 1813. Often misquoted as &quot;The general principles on which the fathers achieved independence were the general principles of Christianity&quot;

* While all other Sciences have advanced, that of Government is at a stand; little better understood; little better practiced now than three or four thousand years ago.
** [https://books.google.com/books?id=YoljDwAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PT2942&amp;lpg=PT2942&amp;dq=%22While+all+other+Sciences+have+advanced,+that+of+Government+is+at+a+stand;+little+better+understood;+little+better+practiced+now+than+three+or+four+thousand+years+ago.%22&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=f42QS5YwAW&amp;sig=nLqK0ZV3MRiT7r74EJm4ybMrLjo&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=2ahUKEwjQn7T-po7eAhWvd98KHcD_CggQ6AEwA3oECAYQAQ#v=onepage&amp;q=%22While%20all%20other%20Sciences%20have%20advanced%2C%20that%20of%20Government%20is%20at%20a%20stand%3B%20little%20better%20understood%3B%20little%20better%20practiced%20now%20than%20three%20or%20four%20thousand%20years%20ago.%22&amp;f=false Letter to Thomas Jefferson] (9 July 1813)

* '''You and I ought not to die before we have explained ourselves to each other.'''
** Letter to [[Thomas Jefferson]] (15 July 1813)

* Indeed, Mr. Jefferson, what could be invented to debase the ancient Christianism which Greeks, Romans, Hebrews and Christian factions, above all the Catholics, have not fraudulently imposed upon the public? Miracles after miracles have rolled down in torrents.
** Letter to [[Thomas Jefferson]] (3 December 1813), published in ''[http://books.google.com/books?vid=ISBN0807842303&amp;id=SzSWYPOz6M8C&amp;pg=PP1&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;ots=kTAZL3ImRq&amp;dq=%22Adams-Jefferson+letters%22&amp;sig=tVGzBe0XVhXaF2p0FQLGy4GK6bk#PRA2-PR17,M1 Adams-Jefferson Letters: The Complete Correspondence Between Thomas Jefferson and Abigail and John Adams]'' (UNC Press, 1988), p.&amp;nbsp;404

* Five and forty years ago, when any terrible News arrived from England of their hostile designs against our Liberties, when the people, gaping and staring, pale and trembling, asked me, &quot;What I thought of the News,&quot; my invariable Answer was, '''&quot;The worse, the better.&quot;'''
** Letter to Elbridge Gerry (14 July 1814). Quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=xK_NVQCRfn4C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA84 Passionate Sage: The Character and Legacy of John Adams (2001 edition)], p. 84

* If the Christian religion, as I understand it, or as you understand it, should maintain its ground, as I believe it will, yet Platonic, Pythagoric, Hindoo, and cabalistic Christianity, which is Catholic Christianity, and which has prevailed for 1,500 years, has received a mortal wound, of which the monster must finally die. Yet so strong is his constitution, that he may endure for centuries before he expires.
** John Adams, letter to [[Thomas Jefferson]] (16 July 1814). From the [http://books.google.com/books?id=9G0vAAAAYAAJ&amp;dq=works%20of%20john%20adams%20%22volume%20x%22&amp;pg=PA100#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Works of John Adams, Vol. X], p.&amp;nbsp; 100

* As long as Property exists, it will accumulate in Individuals and Families. As long as Marriage exists, Knowledge, Property and Influence will accumulate in Families.
** Letter to Thomas Jefferson (16 July 1814)

* Government has no right to hurt a hair on the head of an atheist for his opinions. Let him have a care of his practices.
** Letter to [[John Quincy Adams]] (16 June 1816). Adams Papers (microfilm), reel 432, Library of Congress. James H. Hutson (ed.), ''The Founders on Religion: A Book of Quotations''. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 2007, p. 20

* As to the history of the revolution, my ideas may be peculiar, perhaps singular. '''What do we mean by the Revolution? The war? That was no part of the revolution; it was only an effect and consequence of it. The revolution was in the minds of the people, and this was effected from 1760–1775, in the course of fifteen years, before a drop of blood was shed at Lexington.'''
** Letter to Thomas Jefferson (24 August 1815), ''The Works of John Adams''; he later expressed similar sentiments in a  [[John_Adams#What_do_we_mean_by_the_American_Revolution.3F_.281818.29|letter to Hezekiah Niles (13 February 1818)]]

* We may appeal to every page of history we have hitherto turned over, for proofs irrefragable, that the people, when they have been unchecked, have been as unjust, tyrannical, brutal, barbarous and cruel as any king or senate possessed of uncontrollable power … All projects of government, formed upon a supposition of continual vigilance, sagacity, and virtue, firmness of the people, when possessed of the exercise of supreme power, are cheats and delusions … '''The fundamental article of my political creed is that despotism, or unlimited sovereignty, or absolute power, is the same in a majority of a popular assembly, an aristocratical council, an oligarchical junto, and a single emperor. Equally arbitrary, cruel, bloody, and in every respect diabolical.'''
** Letter to Thomas Jefferson (13 November 1815)

* Power always sincerely, conscientiously, ''de très bon foi,'' believes itself right. Power always thinks it has a great soul and vast views, beyond the comprehension of the weak.
** Letter to Thomas Jefferson (2 February 1816)

* Government has no right to hurt the hair of an Atheist for his Opinions. Let him have a care of his Practices.
** Letter to John Quincy Adams (16 June 1816). Adams Papers (microfilm), reel 432, Library of Congress. James H. Hutson (ed.), ''The Founders on Religion: A Book of Quotations''. Princeton University Press, 2007, p. 20

* '''I almost shudder at the thought of alluding to the most fatal example of the abuses of grief which the history of mankind has preserved — the Cross.''' Consider what calamities that engine of grief has produced! '''With the rational respect that is due to it, knavish priests have added prostitutions of it, that fill or might fill the blackest and bloodiest pages of human history.'''
** Letter to [[Thomas Jefferson]] (3 September 1816), published in ''[http://books.google.com/books?vid=ISBN0807842303&amp;id=SzSWYPOz6M8C&amp;pg=PP1&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;ots=kTAZL3ImRq&amp;dq=%22Adams-Jefferson+letters%22&amp;sig=tVGzBe0XVhXaF2p0FQLGy4GK6bk#PRA2-PR17,M1 Adams-Jefferson Letters: The Complete Correspondence Between Thomas Jefferson and Abigail and John Adams]'' (UNC Press, 1988), p.&amp;nbsp;488

* We have now, it Seems a National Bible Society, to propagate King James's Bible, through all Nations. Would it not be better to apply these pious Subscriptions, to purify Christendom from the Corruptions of Christianity; than to propagate those Corruptions in Europe Asia, Africa and America! … Conclude not from all this, that I have renounced the Christian religion, or that I agree with [[w:Charles François Dupuis|Dupuis]] in all his Sentiments. Far from it. '''I see in every Page, Something to recommend Christianity in its Purity and Something to discredit its Corruptions.''' … The Ten Commandments and the Sermon on the Mount contain my Religion.
** Letter to Thomas Jefferson (4 November 1816)  ([http://memory.loc.gov/master/mss/mtj/mtj1/049/0600/0623.jpg Online image 1] - [http://memory.loc.gov/master/mss/mtj/mtj1/049/0600/0624.jpg 2])

* '''Let the human mind loose. It must be loose. It will be loose. Superstition and dogmatism cannot confine it.'''
** Letter to his son, [[John Quincy Adams]] (13 November 1816)

* Twenty times in the course of my late reading have I been on the point of breaking out, &quot;''This would be the best of all possible worlds, if there were no religion in it!!!''&quot; But in this exclamation I would have been as fanatical as Bryant or Cleverly. '''Without religion this world would be something not fit to be mentioned in polite company, I mean Hell.'''
** [http://lcweb.loc.gov/exhibits/religion/vc006646.jpg Original manuscript at The Library of Congress Letter] to Thomas Jefferson (19 April 1817). The ''italicized'' section within this statement has ''often'' been quoted out of context. Earlier in the letter Adams explained &quot;Lemuel Bryant was my Parish Priest; and Joseph Cleverly my Latin School Master. Lemuel was a jolly jocular and liberal schollar and Divine. Joseph a Schollar and a Gentleman; but a biggoted episcopalian... The Parson and the Pedagogue lived much together, but were eternally disputing about Government and Religion&quot;.

* When people talk of the Freedom of Writing, Speaking, or thinking, I cannot choose but laugh. No such thing ever existed. No such thing now exists; but I hope it will exist. But it must be hundreds of years after you and I shall write and speak no more.
** Letter to Thomas Jefferson (15 July 1817)

* '''I really wish the Jews again in Judea, an independent nation''', for, as I believe, the most enlightened men of it have participated in the amelioration of the philosophy of the age; once restored to an independent government, and no longer persecuted, they would soon wear away some of the asperities and peculiarities of their character, possibly in time become liberal [[w:Unitarianism|Unitarian Christians]], for your [[Jehovah]] is our Jehovah, and your [[God]] of [[Abraham]], [[w:Isaac|Isaac]], and [[w:Jacob|Jacob]] is our God.
** Letter to [[w:Mordecai Manuel Noah|Mordecai Manuel Noah]] (1819), as quoted in ''The Jews, Judea, and Christianity : A Discourse on the Restoration of the Jews'' (1849) by M. M. Noah, p. xi

* '''Abuse of words has been the great instrument of sophistry and chicanery, of party, faction, and division of society.'''
** Letter to J.H. Tiffany (31 March 1819)

* I Shall not pause to consider whether my Opinion will be popular or unpopular with the Slave Holders, or Slave Traders, in the Northern the Middle, the Southern, or the Western, States—I respect all those who are necessarily subjected to this Evil.—But Negro '''Slavery is an evil of Colossal Magnitude.''' … '''I am therefore utterly averse to the admission of Slavery into the Missouri Territory,''' and heartily wish that every Constitutional measure may be adopted for the preservation of it.
** [http://founders.archives.gov/documents/Adams/99-02-02-7261 Letter] to [[w:William Tudor (1779–1830)|William Tudor, Jr.]], 20 November 1819. Partially quoted in ''Founding Brothers : The Revolutionary Generation'' (2000) by Joseph J. Ellis, p.&amp;nbsp;240

==== ''Letters to John Taylor'' (1814) ====
:&lt;small&gt;''Letters to John Taylor'' was an unpublished and apparently unfinished reply to John Taylor's ''An Inquiry into the Principles and Policy of the Government of the United States'', which attacked Adams' earlier publication, ''A Defence of the Constitutions of the United States''. It took the form of a series of letters, the first dated 14 April 1814. It was published in ''The Works of John Adams, Second President of the United States'' vol. VI (1851).&lt;/small&gt;

[[File:Statue of Liberty - USA.jpg|thumb|Liberty, according to my metaphysics, is an intellectual quality, an attribute that belongs not to fate nor chance. Neither possesses it, neither is capable of it.]]
* '''Liberty, according to my metaphysics, is an intellectual quality; an attribute that belongs not to fate nor chance. Neither possesses it, neither is capable of it.''' There is nothing moral or immoral in the idea of it. The definition of it is a self-determining power in an intellectual agent. It implies thought and choice and power; it can elect between objects, indifferent in point of morality, neither morally good nor morally evil. If the substance in which this quality, attribute, adjective, call it what you will, exists, has a moral sense, a conscience, a moral faculty; if it can distinguish between moral good and moral evil, and has power to choose the former and refuse the latter, it can, if it will, choose the evil and reject the good, as we see in experience it very often does.
** I, p.&amp;nbsp;448

* I do not say that democracy has been more pernicious on the whole, and in the long run, than monarchy or aristocracy. Democracy has never been and never can be so durable as aristocracy or monarchy; but while it lasts, it is more bloody than either.
** XVIII, p.&amp;nbsp;483.  Usually misquoted as &quot;Democracy…while it lasts is more bloody than either aristocracy or monarchy&quot;.

* Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide. It is in vain to say that democracy is less vain, less proud, less selfish, less ambitious, or less avaricious than aristocracy or monarchy. It is not true, in fact, and nowhere appears in history. Those passions are the same in all men, under all forms of simple government, and when unchecked, produce the same effects of fraud, violence, and cruelty.
** XVIII, p.&amp;nbsp;484

* The priesthood have, in all ancient nations, nearly monopolized learning. Read over again all the accounts we have of Hindoos, Chaldeans, Persians, Greeks, Romans, Celts, Teutons, we shall find that priests had all the knowledge, and really governed mankind. Examine Mahometanism, trace Christianity from its first promulgation; knowledge has been almost exclusively confined to the clergy. And, even since the Reformation, when or where has existed a Protestant or dissenting sect who would tolerate {{smallcaps|a free inquiry}}? The blackest [[wikt:billingsgate|billingsgate]], most ungentlemanly insolence, the most [[w:Yahoo (literature)|yahooish]] brutality is patiently endured, countenanced, propagated and applauded.  But touch a solemn truth in collision with a dogma of a sect, though capable of the clearest proof, and you will soon find you have disturbed a nest, and the hornets will swarm about your legs and hands, and fly into your face and eyes.
** XXXI, p.&amp;nbsp;517.  Also quoted in [http://books.google.com/books?vid=ISBN0895262924&amp;id=zwKs6Wf2NUEC&amp;pg=PA440&amp;lpg=PA440&amp;ots=qW8I2vCTNZ&amp;dq=%22solemn+truth+in+collision+with+a+dogma+of+a+sect%22&amp;sig=BrWgHvNRAAWcN0rXxdBa7zjeEcc ''The Political Writings of John Adams'' (2001) edited by George W. Carey, p. 440]

==== What do we mean by the American Revolution? (1818) ====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://web.archive.org/web/20020602030340/http://www.cooperativeindividualism.org/adams_john_american_revolution.html Letter to Hezekiah Niles (13 February 1818)]; Adams had previously expressed similar assertions in a letter to [[Thomas Jefferson]] in 1815, quoted above.&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Washington Before Yorktown.jpg|thumb|What do we mean by the American Revolution? Do we mean the American war? The Revolution was effected before the war commenced. The Revolution was in the minds and hearts of the people; a change in their religious sentiments of their duties and obligations.]]

* '''The American Revolution was not a common event.''' Its effects and consequences have already been awful over a great part of the globe. And when and where are they to cease? &lt;br&gt; '''But what do we mean by the American Revolution?''' Do we mean the American war? '''The Revolution was effected before the war commenced. The Revolution was in the minds and hearts of the people; a change in their religious sentiments of their duties and obligations.  … This radical change in the principles, opinions, sentiments, and affections of the people, was the real American Revolution.'''

* '''By what means this great and important alteration in the religious, moral, political, and social character of the people of thirteen colonies, all distinct, unconnected, and independent of each other, was begun, pursued, and accomplished, it is surely interesting to humanity to investigate, and perpetuate to posterity.''' &lt;br&gt; To this end, it is greatly to be desired, that young men of letters in all the States, especially in the thirteen original States, would undertake the laborious, but certainly interesting and amusing task, of searching and collecting all the records, pamphlets, newspapers, and even handbills, which in any way contributed to change the temper and views of the people, and compose them into an independent nation.

* The colonies had grown up under constitutions of government so different, there was so great a variety of religions, they were composed of so many different nations, their customs, manners, and habits had so little resemblance, and their intercourse had been so rare, and their knowledge of each other so imperfect, that to unite them in the same principles in theory and the same system of action, was certainly a very difficult enterprise. '''The complete accomplishment of it, in so short a time and by such simple means, was perhaps a singular example in the history of mankind. Thirteen clocks were made to strike together — a perfection of mechanism, which no artist had ever before effected. &lt;br&gt; In this research, the gloriole of individual gentlemen, and of separate States, is of little consequence. The means and the measures are the proper objects of investigation. These may be of use to posterity, not only in this nation, but in South America and all other countries.''' They may teach mankind that revolutions are no trifles; that they ought never to be undertaken rashly; nor without deliberate consideration and sober reflection; nor without a solid, immutable, eternal foundation of justice and humanity; nor without a people possessed of intelligence, fortitude, and integrity sufficient to carry them with steadiness, patience, and perseverance, through all the vicissitudes of fortune, the fiery trials and melancholy disasters they may have to encounter.

==== Letter to William Tudor (1818) ====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/2127#lf1431-10_head_126 Letter to William Tudor (1 June 1818)]&lt;/small&gt;
* No man could have written from memory Mr. Otis’s argument of four or five hours, against the acts of trade, as revenue laws, and against writs of assistance, as a tyrannical engine to execute them, the next day after it was spoken. How awkward, then, would be an attempt to do it after a lapse of fifty-seven years! Nevertheless, some of the heads of his discourse are so indelibly imprinted on my mind, that I will endeavor to give you some very short hints of them.

* He began with an exordium, containing an apology for his resignation of the office of Advocate-General in the Court of Admiralty; and for his appearance in that cause, in opposition to the Crown, and in favor of the town of Boston, and the merchants of Boston and Salem.

* A dissertation on the rights of man in a state of nature. He asserted that every man, merely natural, was an independent sovereign, subject to no law, but the law written on his heart, and revealed to him by his Maker in the constitution of his nature and the inspiration of his understanding and his conscience. His right to his life, his liberty, no created being could rightfully contest. Nor was his right to his property less incontestable. The club that he had snapped from a tree, for a staff or for defence, was his own. His bow and arrow were his own; if by a pebble he had killed a partridge or a squirrel, it was his own. No creature, man or beast, had a right to take it from him. If he had taken an eel, or a smelt, or a sculpion, it was his property. In short, he sported upon this topic with so much wit and humor, and at the same time so much indisputable truth and reason, that he was not less entertaining than instructive. He asserted that these rights were inherent and inalienable. That they never could be surrendered or alienated but by idiots or madmen, and all the acts of idiots and lunatics were void, and not obligatory by all the laws of God and man.

* '''Nor were the poor negroes forgotten. Not a Quaker in Philadelphia, or Mr. Jefferson, of Virginia, ever asserted the rights of negroes in stronger terms'''. Young as I was, and ignorant as I was, I shuddered at the doctrine he taught; and I have all my lifetime shuddered, and still shudder, at the consequences that may be drawn from such premises. Shall we say, that the rights of masters and servants clash, and can be decided only by force? '''I adore the idea of gradual abolitions! But who shall decide how fast or how slowly these abolitions shall be made?'''

* From individual independence he proceeded to association. If it was inconsistent with the dignity of human nature to say that men were gregarious animals, like wild horses and wild geese, it surely could offend no delicacy to say they were social animals by nature, that there were mutual sympathies, and, above all, the sweet attraction of the sexes, which must soon draw them together in little groups, and by degrees in larger congregations, for mutual assistance and defence. And this must have happened before any formal covenant, by express words or signs, was concluded. When general counsels and deliberations commenced, the objects could be no other than the mutual defence and security of every individual for his life, his liberty, and his property. To suppose them to have surrendered these in any other way than by equal rules and general consent was to suppose them idiots or madmen, whose acts were never binding. To suppose them surprised by fraud, or compelled by force, into any other compact, such fraud and such force could confer no obligation. Every man had a right to trample it under foot whenever he pleased. In short, he asserted these rights to be derived only from nature and the author of nature; that they were inherent, inalienable, and indefeasible by any laws, pacts, contracts, covenants, or stipulations, which man could devise.

==== Letter to John Taylor (1819) ====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://books.google.com/books?id=EFkSAAAAYAAJ&amp;lpg=PA375&amp;ots=xh-6ooA5Mu&amp;pg=PA375#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false''The Works of John Adams''], Vol. X, Boston, MA, Little, Brown and Company (1856) p. 375&lt;/small&gt;
*Banks have done more injury to the religion, morality, tranquility, prosperity, and even wealth of the nation than they can have done or ever will do good.
**John Adams letter to John Taylor, Of Caroline, Quincy, (12 March, 1819) 

==== Letter to Robert J. Evans (1819) ====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/2127#lf1431-10_head_152 Letter to Robert J. Evans (8 June 1819)]&lt;/small&gt;
* The turpitude, the inhumanity, the cruelty, and the infamy of the African commerce in slaves, have been so impressively represented to the public by the highest powers of eloquence, that nothing that I can say would increase the just odium in which it is and ought to be held. '''Every measure of prudence, therefore, ought to be assumed for the eventual total extirpation of slavery from the United States.'''

*'''I have, through my whole life, held the practice of slavery in such abhorrence''', that I have never owned a negro or any other slave, though I have lived for many years in times, when the practice was not disgraceful, when the best men in my vicinity thought it not inconsistent with their character, and when it has cost me thousands of dollars for the labor and subsistence of free men, which I might have saved by the purchase of negroes at times when they were very cheap.

=== 1820s ===
* When we say God is a spirit, we know what we mean, as well as we do when we say that the pyramids of Egypt are matter. Let us be content, therefore, to believe him to be a spirit, that is, an essence that we know nothing of, in which originally and necessarily reside all energy, all power, all capacity, all activity, all wisdom, all goodness.
** Letter to Thomas Jefferson (17 January 1820). Often misquoted as &quot;God is an essence that we know nothing of&quot; and attached to a part of his 22 January 1825 letter to Thomas Jefferson.

* '''I shudder when I think of the calamities which slavery is likely to produce in this country.''' You would think me mad if I were to describe my anticipations… If the gangrene is not stopped I can see nothing but insurrection of the blacks against the whites.
** 1820, as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20111029143754/http://home.nas.com/lopresti/ps2.htm ''John Adams''], by Page Smith, Doubleday, Garden City, New York

* Can a free government possibly exist with the Roman Catholic religion?
** Letter to [[Thomas Jefferson]] (19 May 1821), published in ''[http://books.google.com/books?vid=ISBN0807842303&amp;id=SzSWYPOz6M8C&amp;pg=PP1&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;ots=kTAZL3ImRq&amp;dq=%22Adams-Jefferson+letters%22&amp;sig=tVGzBe0XVhXaF2p0FQLGy4GK6bk#PRA2-PR17,M1 Adams-Jefferson Letters: The Complete Correspondence Between Thomas Jefferson and Abigail and John Adams]'' (UNC Press, 1988), p.&amp;nbsp;573

*'''Slavery in this Country I have seen hanging over it like a black cloud for half a century'''…
** 1821, as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20111029143754/http://home.nas.com/lopresti/ps2.htm ''Passionate Sage''] (1993), Joseph J. Ellis, Norton, New York, p. 138

* A meeting we accordingly had, and conned the paper over. '''I was delighted with its high tone and the flights of oratory with which it abounded, especially that concerning negro slavery, which, though I knew his Southern brethren would never suffer to pass in Congress, I certainly never would oppose'''. There were other expressions which I would not have inserted, if I had drawn it up, particularly that which called the King tyrant. I thought this too personal; for I never believed George to be a tyrant in disposition and in nature; I always believed him to be deceived by his courtiers on both sides of the Atlantic, and in his official capacity only, cruel. I thought the expression too passionate, and too much like scolding, for so grave and solemn a document; but as Franklin and Sherman were to inspect it afterwards, I thought it would not become me to strike it out. I consented to report it, and do not now remember that I made or suggested a single alteration. We reported it to the committee of five. It was read, and I do not remember that Franklin or Sherman criticized any thing. We were all in haste. Congress was impatient, and the instrument was reported, as I believe, in Jefferson’s handwriting, as he first drew it. Congress cut off about a quarter of it, as I expected they would; but they obliterated some of the best of it, and left all that was exceptionable, if any thing in it was. '''I have long wondered that the original draught has not been published. I suppose the reason is, the vehement philippic against negro slavery'''.
** Regarding a draft of the U.S. Declaration of Independence, [http://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/2100#lf1431-02_head_061 Letter to Timothy Pickering (6 August 1822)]
** As quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20111029143754/http://home.nas.com/lopresti/ps2.htm ''The Founding Fathers: John Adams: A Biography in his own Words''] (1973), by James Bishop Peabody, Newsweek, New York, p. 201.

* '''The Europeans are all deeply tainted with prejudices, both ecclesiastical and temporal, which they can never get rid of.''' They are all infected with episcopal and presbyterian creeds, and confessions of faith. They all believe that great Principle which has produced this boundless universe, Newton’s universe and Herschell’s universe, came down to this little ball, to be spit upon by Jews. And ''until this awful blasphemy is got rid of, there never will be any liberal science in the world.''
** [http://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/2127#lf1431-10_head_179 Letter to Thomas Jefferson] (22 January 1825). The section in italics is often attached to fragments from an earlier letter from Adams to Jefferson (17 January 1820)

* As you justly observe, there is not an idea in it[The Declaration of Independence] but what had been hackneyed in Congress for two years before. The substance of it is contained in the declaration of rights and the violation of those rights in the Journals of Congress in 1774. Indeed, the essence of it is contained in a pamphlet, voted and printed by the town of Boston, before the first Congress met, '''composed by James Otis''', as I suppose, in one of his lucid intervals, and pruned and polished by Samuel Adams.
** John Adams to Timothy Pickering, 6 August 1822,[https://founders.archives.gov/documents/Adams/99-02-02-7674] pointing out the importance of James Otis' 1763 work ''The Rights of the British Colonies Asserted and Proved''

* '''We think ourselves possessed, or, at least, we boast that we are so, of liberty of conscience on all subjects, and of the right of free inquiry and private judgment in all cases, and yet how far are we from these exalted privileges in fact!''' There exists, I believe, throughout the whole Christian world, a law which makes it blasphemy to deny or doubt the divine inspiration of all the books of the Old and New Testaments, from Genesis to Revelations. In most countries of Europe it is punished by fire at the stake, or the rack, or the wheel. In England itself it is punished by boring through the tongue with a poker. In America it is not better; even in our own Massachusetts, which I believe, upon the whole, is as temperate and moderate in religious zeal as most of the States, a law was made in the latter end of the last century, repealing the cruel punishments of the former laws, but substituting fine and imprisonment upon all those blasphemers upon any book of the Old Testament or New. Now, what free inquiry, when a writer must surely encounter the risk of fine or imprisonment for adducing any argument for investigating into the divine authority of those books? Who would run the risk of translating [[w:Charles François Dupuis|Dupuis]]? But I cannot enlarge upon this subject, though I have it much at heart. '''I think such laws a great embarrassment, great obstructions to the improvement of the human mind. Books that cannot bear examination, certainly ought not to be established as divine inspiration by penal laws.''' It is true, few persons appear desirous to put such laws in execution, and it is also true that some few persons are hardy enough to venture to depart from them. But as long as they continue in force as laws, the human mind must make an awkward and clumsy progress in its investigations. I wish they were repealed. '''The substance and essence of Christianity, as I understand it, is eternal and unchangeable, and will bear examination forever, but it has been mixed with extraneous ingredients, which I think will not bear examination, and they ought to be separated.'''
** Letter to [[Thomas Jefferson]] (23 January 1825), published in ''Letters: The Complete Correspondence Between Thomas Jefferson and Abigail and John Adams'' (UNC Press, 1988), p.&amp;nbsp;607

* '''No man who ever held the office of president would congratulate a friend on obtaining it. He will make one man ungrateful, and a hundred men his enemies, for every office he can bestow.'''
** Letter to [[w:Josiah Quincy III|Josiah Quincy III]] (14 February 1825)

* My best wishes, in the joys, and festivities, and the solemn services of that day on which will be completed the fiftieth year from its birth, of the independence of the United States: a memorable epoch in the annals of the human race, destined in future history to form the brightest or the blackest page, according to the use or the abuse of those political institutions by which they shall, in time to come, be shaped by the human mind.
** Reply to an invitation to 50th Independence Day celebrations from a committee of the citizens of Quincy, Massachusetts (7 June 1826); quoted in [http://books.google.com/books?vid=OCLC02570179&amp;id=17ge0_OSAfIC&amp;pg=RA1-PA160&amp;lpg=RA1-PA160&amp;dq=%22solemn+services+of+that+day+on+which+will+be+completed+%22&amp;num=100 &quot;Eulogy, Pronounced at Bridgewater, Massachusetts&quot;] (2 August 1826) by John A. Shaw, in [http://www.gutenberg.org/files/18196/18196.txt ''A Selection of Eulogies, Pronounced in the Several States, in Honor of Those Illustrious Patriots and Statesmen, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson'' (1826)]

* '''Thomas — Jefferson — still surv —'''
** Last words (4 July 1826) as quoted in ''The Oxford History of the American People'' (1965) by Samuel Eliot Morison, p.&amp;nbsp;420; this is often rendered as a full statement, &quot;Thomas Jefferson still survives.&quot; Thomas Jefferson died a few hours earlier on the same day, the 50th anniversary of the congressional approval of [[United States Declaration of Independence|The Declaration of Independence]].

{{Disputed begin}}

== Attributed ==
* '''Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order.'''
** As quoted by [[w:Josiah Quincy III|Josiah Quincy III]], in ''Looking Toward Sunset : From Sources Old and New, Original and Selected'' (1865) by [[Lydia Maria Child|Lydia Maria Francis Child]], p.&amp;nbsp;431

* What are the Qualifications of a Secretary of State? He ought to be a Man of universal Reading in Laws, Governments, History. Our whole terrestrial Universe ought to be summarily comprehended in his Mind.
**As quoted in [http://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=mdp.39015026646540;view=1up;seq=69 ''Statesman and Friend: Correspondence of John Adams with Benjamin Waterhouse, 1784–1822''] (1927), edited by Worthington C. Ford, Boston, Massachusetts: Little, Brown, and Company. p. 57

{{Disputed end}}

{{Misattributed begin}}

== Misattributed ==
:&lt;small&gt;Statements originally made by others, that have become wrongly attributed to John Adams &lt;/small&gt;


* '''If we do not lay out ourselves in the service of mankind whom should we serve?'''
** [[Abigail Adams]], his wife, in a letter to John Thaxter (1778-09-29).

* There are obviously two educations. One should teach us how to make a living and the other how to live.
** [[w:James Truslow Adams|James Truslow Adams]]; sometimes rendered : &quot;There are two educations. One should teach us how to make a living and the other how to live&quot;.

* Think of your forefathers! Think of your posterity!
** [[John Quincy Adams]], his son, in a speech at Plymouth, Massachusetts (1802-12-22).

* '''Genius is sorrow's child.'''
** Adams used this statement in a letter to [[w:Benjamin Waterhouse|Benjamin Waterhouse]] (21 May 1821), but he may have been quoting the poem &quot;To Mr. [[w:Gilbert Stuart|Stuart]], On his Portrait of Mrs. M&quot; by [[w:Sarah Wentworth Apthorp Morton|Sarah Wentworth Apthorp Morton]], first published in 1803:
:: ''Genius is sorrow's child — to want allied — &lt;br&gt;Consoled by glory, and sustained by pride''.

* As the government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian Religion,—as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion or tranquility of Musselmen … it is declared … that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries. 
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/bar1796t.asp#art11 Article 11] of the ''[[w:Treaty of Tripoli|Treaty of Tripoli]]'' (signed at Tripoli on November 4, 1796, and at Algiers on January 3, 1797 and received ratification unanimously from the U.S. Senate on June 7, 1797; it was signed into law by John Adams (the original language is by [[Joel Barlow]], U.S. Consul); This phrase has also sometimes been misattributed to [[George Washington]], and has also been misquoted as &quot;This nation of ours was not founded on Christian principles&quot;.

* I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is called a disgrace; that two are called a law firm; and that three or more become a Congress!
** Adams as ''portrayed'' in the musical ''[[w:1776 (musical)|1776]]'' (1969); this has sometimes been cited as an actual quote of Adams.

'''Spurious quotations:'''
:&lt;small&gt;Statements which evidence indicates are fabrications; in these cases they seem ''derived'' from some which are known to have been made by Adams, but have significant alterations and additions.&lt;/small&gt;

* The &quot;divinity&quot; of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity. Nowhere in the Gospels do we find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths, Doctrines, and whole carloads of other foolish trumpery that we find in Christianity.
** Attributed to Adams in ''Spirit'' (1988) by William Edelen, p.&amp;nbsp;4, this seems to paraphrase portions of two diary entries (more extensively quoted in the &quot;[[John_Adams#Diaries|Diaries]]&quot; section above):
:: '''Mystery is made a convenient cover for absurdity.''' (13 February 1756)
:: '''Where do we find a precept in the Gospel requiring Ecclesiastical Synods? Convocations? Councils? Decrees? Creeds? Confessions? Oaths? Subscriptions? and whole cart-loads of other trumpery that we find religion incumbered with in these days?''' (18 February 1756)&lt;!-- these two entries were quoted in close proximity on page 14 of ''John Adams'' (1885) by John Torrey Morse: --&gt;

* We recognize no sovereign but God, and no king but Jesus!
** Originally attributed to the “Rev. Jonas Clarke or one of his company” in “No King But King Jesus” (2001) ([http://web.archive.org/web/20010422194315/www.truthinhistory.org/NoKing.htm cache at Internet Archive]) by Charles A. Jennings on his website [http://www.truthinhistory.org Truth in History], and subsequently attributed to Adams in books like ''Is God with America?‎'' (2006) by Bob Klingenberg, p.&amp;nbsp;208, and ''Silenced in the Schoolhouse'' (2008) by Michael Williams, p.&amp;nbsp;5. (The mistake may have come about because John Adams and John Hancock are mentioned in Jennings' account immediately before Clark.) This is supposed to have been said in reply to Major Pitcairn's demand to “Disperse, ye villains, lay down your arms in the name of George the Sovereign King of England.” Clark's [http://books.google.com/books?id=9S8eAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA6#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false own account] makes no mention or this (or any other) reply, however. “No king but King Jesus” was the slogan of the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fifth_Monarchists Fifth Monarchists] during the Interregnum in England, but there is little evidence for its use during the American Revolution.

* God is an essence we know nothing of. Until this awful blasphemy is gotten rid of there will never be any liberal science in the world.
** Attributed to Adams in ''[[w:Atheism: A Rough History of Disbelief|A Brief History of Disbelief]]'' [[w:BBC Four|BBC Four]] (2005) by [[w:Jonathan Miller|Jonathan Miller]], [http://www.veoh.com/series/briefhistoryofdisbelief Online video]. The two sentences are derived from two different letters to Thomas Jefferson, written five years apart, juxtaposed to give a misleading impression of Adams' meaning. The first comes from his letter of 17 January 1820, and the second from his letter of 22 January 1825.

* The doctrine of the divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity.
** Attributed to Adams in ''Pathway to the Stars'' (2007) by Rev. Ernest A. Steadman, p.&amp;nbsp;66; this seems to be another paraphrase of the entry for 13 February 1756.

* My friend, there is something very serious in this business. The Holy Ghost carries on the whole Christian system in this earth. Not a baptism, not a marriage, not a sacrament can be administered but by the Holy Ghost, Who is transmitted from age to age by laying the hands of the Bishop on the heads of candidates for the ministry. . . . There is no authority, civil or religious — there can be no legitimate government — but what is administered by this Holy Ghost. There can be no salvation without it — all without it is rebellion and perdition, or, in more orthodox words, damnation. . . Your prophecy, my dear friend, has not become history as yet. I have no resentment of animosity against the gentleman [Jefferson] and abhor the idea of blackening his character or transmitting him in odious colors to posterity. But I write with difficulty and am afraid of diffusing myself in too many correspondences. If I should receive a letter from him, however, I should not fail to acknowledge and answer it.
** Adams as misquoted by David Barton, in [http://www.wallbuilders.com/LIBissuesArticles.asp?id=10152 &quot;The Dream of Dr. Benjamin Rush &amp; God's Hand in Reconciling John Adams and Thomas Jefferson&quot; in ''WallBuilders'' (June 2008)]&lt;!-- accessdate=2011-05-06 --&gt;; omitting many words, giving a very misleading impression that Adams (who did not believe in the Christian Trinity) is endorsing the viewpoint that a government must be administered by the Holy Ghost to be legitimate. Barton went on to use another version, substituting some of Adams' words with false ones:
* The Holy Ghost carries on the whole Christian system in '''His truth'''. Not a baptism, not a marriage, not a Sacrament can be administered but by the Holy Ghost … There is no authority civil or religious: There can be no legitimate government but what is administered by '''the''' Holy Ghost. There can be no salvation without it. All without it is rebellion and perdition, or in more orthodox words damnation.
** Adams as misquoted by David Barton on ''Glenn Beck'' (Fox News) on {{#formatdate:2010-04-08}}, and in a church presentation on {{#formatdate:2008-10-06}}, shown in the film ''The Hidden Faith of the Founding Fathers'' (2010), at 2:21:32. Without the ellipses and substituted words, this section of Adams's [http://books.google.com/books?id=84oTAQAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA248 letter of (21 December 1809)] reads:
*** But &lt;span style=&quot;color:gray&quot;&gt;my Friend there is something very serious in this Business. The Holy Ghost carries on the whole Christian system in&lt;/span&gt; '''this earth'''. &lt;span style=&quot;color:gray&quot;&gt;Not a Baptism, not a Marriage not a Sacrament can be administered but by the Holy Ghost, who is transmitted from age to age by laying the hands of the Bishops on the heads of Candidates for the Ministry.&lt;/span&gt; In the same manner as the holy Ghost is transmitted from Monarch to Monarch by the holy oil in the vial at Rheims which was brought down from Heaven by a Dove and by that other Phyal which I have seen in the Tower of London. &lt;span style=&quot;color:gray&quot;&gt;There is no Authority civil or religious: there can be no legitimate Government but what is administered by&lt;/span&gt;  '''this''' &lt;span style=&quot;color:gray&quot;&gt;Holy Ghost. There can be no salvation without it. All, without it is Rebellion and Perdition, or in more orthodox words Damnation.&lt;/span&gt; Although this is all Artifice and Cunning in the secret original in the heart, yet they all believe it so sincerely that they would lay down their Lives under the Ax or the fiery Fagot for it. Alas the poor weak ignorant Dupe human Nature. There is so much King Craft, Priest Craft, Gentlemens Craft, Peoples Craft, Doctors Craft, Lawyers Craft, Merchants Craft, Tradesmens Craft, Labourers Craft and Devils Craft in the world, that it seems a desperate and impracticable Project to undeceive it.&lt;br /&gt;Do you wonder that [[Voltaire]] and [[Thomas Paine|Paine]] have made Proselytes? Yet there was as much subtlety, Craft and Hypocrisy in Voltaire and Paine and more too than in [[Ignatius of Loyola|Ignatius Loyola]].&lt;br /&gt;This Letter is so much in the tone of my Friend the [[w:Guillaume Thomas François Raynal|Abby Raynal]] and the Grumblers of the last age, that I pray you to burn it. I cannot copy it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:gray&quot;&gt;Your Prophecy my dear Friend has not become History as yet. I have no Resentment or Animosity against the Gentleman and abhor the Idea of blackening his Character or transmitting him in odious Colours to Posterity.&lt;br /&gt;But I write with difficulty and am afraid of diffusing myself in too many Correspondences. If I should receive a Letter from him however I should not fail to acknowledge and answer it.&lt;/span&gt;

* A mob is still a mob, even if it's on your side.
** Adams as ''portrayed'' in the HBO Miniseries ''[[w:John Adams (miniseries)|John Adams]]'' (2008); this has sometimes been cited as having been actually said or written by the historical John Adams.
{{Misattributed end}}

== Quotes about Adams ==
[[File:Gilbert Stuart John Adams.jpg|thumb|He is so amiable that I pronounce you will love him, if ever you become acquainted with him. ~  [[Thomas Jefferson]] ]]
:&lt;small&gt;Alphabetized by author &lt;/small&gt;

*[T]he paradox of Adams's personality; he genuinely loved and had deep compassion for humanity but never learned to deal with individual human beings. To his immediate family, he was a warm, generously loving man; to outsiders, he appeared cold, aloof, conceited. As a youth he was driven by ambition. He was determined to be a man of substance and, if circumstances afforded the opportunity, a great man. Throughout his life he wrestled with his passions. From his mother he inherited his pugnacity, drive, ready temper, and broad mood swings. He frequently fell to black despair, fits of depression that were triggered usually by the onset of some illness, public criticism, or lack of recognition of his achievements. Some historians believe that he may have been manic-depressive. Somewhat paranoid, too, he was quick to see in his unpopularity a plot by others to discredit him and steal credit for themselves. A proper Puritan, he was shocked by the open sexuality of eighteenth-century France. At a dinner party in Bordeaux in 1778, a Madame de Texel, addressing Adams with innocent frankness, wondered aloud how Adam and Eve ever learned how to have sex, for no one else was around to explain the facts of life to them. Adams was thoroughly embarrassed, having never before heard a woman discuss such matters. He blushed but quickly regained his composure to explain with mock seriousness.
** William A. DeGregorio, ''The Complete Book of U.S. Presidents'' (1984), pp. 19&amp;ndash;20

*I am persuaded, however, that Mr. Adams meant well for his country, was always an honest man, often a wise one, but sometimes and in some things, absolutely out of his senses.
**[[Benjamin Franklin]], as quoted in [http://archive.is/HI13t ''Benjamin Franklin and His Enemies''] (1996), by Robert Middlekauff

* '''He is vain, irritable, and a bad calculator of the force and probable effect of the motives which govern men. This is all the ill which can possibly be said of him.''' He is as disinterested as the Being who made him. He is profound in his views and accurate in his judgment, except where knowledge of the world is necessary to form a judgment. '''He is so amiable that I pronounce you will love him, if ever you become acquainted with him. He would be, as he was, a great man in Congress.'''
** [[Thomas Jefferson]] in a letter to [[James Madison]] (30 January 1787)

* '''What for me makes people like [[Teddy Roosevelt]] and [[Franklin Delano Roosevelt|Franklin Roosevelt]] and John Adams and [[George Washington]] and [[Dwight Eisenhower]] and [[Ronald Reagan]] such extraordinary leaders is that they had integrity through and through. What they were on the inside and what they said on the outside was harmonious.''' There are a lot of people like that. I think that if people try to live a very different personal life not consistent with the role they've assumed as a governor or senator or president, we lose something as a nation.
** Massachusetts governor [[Mitt Romney]], in the September 2005 ''The Atlantic'' article &quot;The 'Holy Cow!' Candidate&quot;

* '''He saw the whole of a subject at a single glance, and by a happy union of the powers of reasoning and persuasion often succeeded in carrying measures which were at first sight of an unpopular nature'''
** [[Benjamin Rush]], as quoted in Kiernan, Denise and D'Agnese, Joseph &quot;Signing Their Lives Way&quot; Quirk Books, Philadelphia (2009)p. 26-27

* '''Among all our presidents from [[George Washington|Washington]] downward, not one was a professor of religion, at least not of more than [[w:Unitarianism|unitarianism]].'''
** The Reverend Doctor Bird Wilson in a sermon (23 October 1831) published in the ''Albany Daily Advertiser'' (29 October 1831), as quoted in [http://books.google.com/books?id=hIQm1JttIL4C&amp;dq=%22Discussion+on+the+Existence+of+God+and+the+Authenticity+of+the+Bible%22 ''Discussion of the Existence of God and the Authenticity of the Bible'' (1840)] by Origen Bacheler and [[w:Robert Dale Owen|Robert Dale Owen]], Appendix, p.&amp;nbsp;231. The presidents mentioned here would include, beyond Washington and Adams: [[Thomas Jefferson]], [[James Madison]], [[James Monroe]], [[John Quincy Adams]], and [[Andrew Jackson]]; also quoted in ''George Washington &amp; Religion'' (1963) by Paul F. Boller, p.&amp;nbsp;14 – 15.
** Disputed variant: The founders of our nation were nearly all Infidels, and that of the presidents who had thus far been elected not a one had professed a belief in Christianity.
*** This has been attributed to Bird Wilson from the same sermon, but it seems to be a summarizing paraphrase of the above quotation which may have originated in ''Six Historic Americans'' (1906) by John Eleazer Remsburg which has been cited as its source.
** Disputed variant: The founders of our nation were nearly all Infidels, and that of the presidents who had thus far been elected (George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, James Monroe, John Quincy Adams, and Andrew Jackson) not a one had professed a belief in Christianity.
*** This has also been attributed to the same sermon, but seems to be an even further paraphrase of the above quotations, as rendered in ''Jesus : Myth Or Reality?'' (2006) by Ian Curtis, p.&amp;nbsp;250

==See also==
* [[Founding Fathers of the United States]]
* [[List of presidents of the United States]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Wikisource author}}
{{commonscat}}
* [http://www.whitehouse.gov/history/presidents/ja2.html White House biography]
* [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/subject_menus/adamspap.asp ''The Papers of John Adams'' at the Avalon Project]
* [http://www.masshist.org/digitaladams/aea/ Adams Family Papers : An electronic archive]
*{{gutenberg author|id=John_Adams|name=John Adams}}

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[[Category:Founding Fathers of the United States of America]]
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[[Category:People from Boston]]
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[[Category:Unitarians from the United States]]
[[Category:United States presidential candidates, 1800]]
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    <title>Adam Smith</title>
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        <ip>92.34.117.237</ip>
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      <comment>Smith did not say this, and just because some columnist says he did does not make it worthy of inclusion here</comment>
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      <text bytes="114556" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Adam Smith by Patric Park, 1845.jpg|thumb|Civil government, so far as it is instituted for the security of property, is in reality instituted for the defence of the rich against the poor, or of those who have some property against those who have none at all.]]
[[File:AdamSmith.jpg|thumb|It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own interest.]]
[[File: AdamSmith1790b.jpg|thumb|Nothing but the most exemplary morals can give dignity to a man of small fortune.]]
'''[[w:Adam Smith|Adam Smith]]''' ([[16 June]] [[1723]] – [[17 July]] [[1790]]) was a [[w:Scottish|Scottish]]-born [[w:economist|economist]] and [[philosopher]], widely considered the &quot;father of modern [[economics]]&quot;.

== Quotes ==
*To desire you to read my book over and mark all the corrections you would wish me to make...would oblige me greatly: I know how much I shall be benefitted and I shall at the same time preserve the pretious right of private judgement for the sake of which our forefathers kicked out the Pope and the Pretender. I believe you to be much more infalliable than the Pope, but as I am a Protestant my conscience makes me scruple to submit to any unscriptural authority.
**Letter to [[w:William Strahan (publisher)|William Strahan]] (4 April 1760), quoted in Adam Smith, ''The Correspondence of Adam Smith'', eds. E. C. Mossner and I. S. Ross (1987), pp. 67–68

*The Union was a measure from which infinite Good has been derived to this country.
**Letter to [[w:William Strahan (publisher)|William Strahan]] (4 April 1760), quoted in Adam Smith, ''The Correspondence of Adam Smith'', eds. E. C. Mossner and I. S. Ross (1987), p. 68

* Poor David Hume is dying very fast, but with great cheerfulness and good humour and with more real resignation to the necessary course of things then any whining Christian ever dyed with pretended resignation to the will of God.
**Letter to [[Alexander Wedderburn]] 14 August 1776. ''The Correspondence of Adam Smith'' edited by E.C. Mossner and Ian Simpson Ross, 2nd edition, Oxford University Press 1986. [https://www.ac.edu.au/custom-utils/download-count/target_address=http://apps.acu.edu.au/staffdirectory/file_folder/960e0f011130cba646b9af03bafefe24.pdf/link=EXTERNAL_LINK/object_id=192/ The Future Hope in Adam Smith’s System], Paul Oslington 

*I perfectly agree with your Lordship too, that to crush the Industry of so great and so fine a province of the empire, in order to favour the monopoly of some particular towns in Scotland or England, is equally unjust and impolitic. The general opulence and improvement of Ireland might certainly, under proper management, afford much greater resources to the Government, than can ever be drawn from a few mercantile or manufacturing towns.
**Letter to [[w:Henry Dundas, 1st Viscount Melville|Henry Dundas]] (1 November 1779), quoted in Adam Smith, ''The Correspondence of Adam Smith'', eds. E. C. Mossner and I. S. Ross (1987), p. 241

===''[[w:The Theory of Moral Sentiments|The Theory of Moral Sentiments]]'' (1759)===

====Part I====
* How selfish soever man may be supposed, there are evidently some principles in his nature, which interest him in the fortune of others, and render their happiness necessary to him, though he derives nothing from it except the pleasure of seeing it.
** Section I, Chap. I.

* Every faculty in one man is the measure by which he judges of the like faculty in another. I judge of your sight by my sight, of your ear by my ear, of your reason by my reason, of your resentment by my resentment, of your love by my love. I neither have, nor can have, any other way of judging about them. 
** Section I, Chap. III.

*Society and conversation, therefore, are the most powerful remedies for restoring the mind to its tranquillity, if, at any time, it has unfortunately lost it; as well as the best preservatives of that equal and happy temper, which is so necessary to self-satisfaction and enjoyment. Men of retirement and speculation, who are apt to sit brooding at home over either grief or resentment, though they may often have more humanity, more generosity, and a nicer sense of honour, yet seldom possess that equality of temper which is so common among men of the world.
** Section I, Chap. III.

* As to love our neighbour as we love ourselves is the great law of Christianity, so it is the great precept of nature to love ourselves only as we love our neighbour, or what comes to the same thing, as our neighbour is capable of loving us.
** Section I, Chap. V.

* Hatred and anger are the greatest poison to the happiness of a good mind.
** Section II, Chap. III.

* This disposition to admire, and almost to worship, the rich and powerful, and to despise or, at least, neglect persons of poor and mean conditions, though necessary both to establish and to maintain the distinction of ranks and the order of society, is, at the same time, the great  and most universal cause of the corruption of our moral sentiments.
** Section III, Chap. II.

====Part II====
* The man who barely abstains from violating either the person, or the estate, or the reputation of his neighbours, has surely very little positive merit. He fulfils, however, all the rules of what is peculiarly called justice, and does every thing which his equals can with propriety force him to do, or which they can punish him for not doing. We may often fulfil all the rules of justice by sitting still and doing nothing.
** Section II, Chap. I.

* Every man is, no doubt, by nature, first and principally recommended to his own care; and as he is fitter to take care of himself than of any other person, it is fit and right that it should be so.
** Section II, Chap. II.

* In every part of the universe we observe means adjusted with the nicest artifice to the ends which they are intended to produce; and in the mechanism of a plant, or animal body, admire how every thing is contrived for advancing the two great purposes of nature, the support of the individual, and the propagation of the species.
** Section II, Chap. III.

* Mercy to the guilty is cruelty to the innocent.
** Section II, Chap. III.

* We are delighted to find a person who values us as we value ourselves, and distinguishes us from the rest of mankind, with an attention not unlike that with which we distinguish ourselves.
** Section III, Chap. I.

====Part III====
* When I endeavour to examine my own conduct, when I endeavour to pass sentence upon it, and either to approve or condemn it, it is evident that, in all such cases, I divide myself, as it were, into two persons; and that I, the examiner and judge, represent a different character from that other I, the person whose conduct is examined into and judged of.
** Chap. I.

* Let us suppose that the great empire of China, with all its myriads of inhabitants, was suddenly swallowed up by an earthquake, and let us consider how a man of humanity in Europe, who had no sort of connection with that part of the world, would be affected upon receiving intelligence of this dreadful calamity. He would, I imagine, first of all, express very strongly his sorrow for the misfortune of that unhappy people, he would make many melancholy reflections upon the precariousness of human life, and the vanity of all the labours of man, which could thus be annihilated in a moment. He would too, perhaps, if he was a man of speculation, enter into many reasonings concerning the effects which this disaster might produce upon the commerce of Europe, and the trade and business of the world in general. And when all this fine philosophy was over, when all these humane sentiments had been once fairly expressed, he would pursue his business or his pleasure, take his repose or his diversion, with the same ease and tranquillity, as if no such accident had happened. The most frivolous disaster which could befall himself would occasion a more real disturbance. If he was to lose his little finger to-morrow, he would not sleep to-night; but, provided he never saw them, he will snore with the most profound security over the ruin of a hundred millions of his brethren, and the destruction of that immense multitude seems plainly an object less interesting to him, than this paltry misfortune of his own. To prevent, therefore, this paltry misfortune to himself, would a man of humanity be willing to sacrifice the lives of a hundred millions of his brethren, provided he had never seen them? Human nature startles with horror at the thought, and the world, in its greatest depravity and corruption, never produced such a villain as could be capable of entertaining it. But what makes this difference? When our passive feelings are almost always so sordid and so selfish, how comes it that our active principles should often be so generous and so noble? When we are always so much more deeply affected by whatever concerns ourselves, than by whatever concerns other men; what is it which prompts the generous, upon all occasions, and the mean upon many, to sacrifice their own interests to the greater interests of others? It is not the soft power of humanity, it is not that feeble spark of benevolence which Nature has lighted up in the human heart, that is thus capable of counteracting the strongest impulses of self-love. It is a stronger power, a more forcible motive, which exerts itself upon such occasions. '''It is reason, principle, conscience, the inhabitant of the breast, the man within, the great judge and arbiter of our conduct.'''
** Chap. III.

* '''When the happiness or misery of others depends in any respect upon our conduct, we dare not, as self–love might suggest to us, prefer the interest of one to that of many. The man within immediately calls to us, that we value ourselves too much and other people too little, and that, by doing so, we render ourselves the proper object of the contempt and indignation of our brethren.''' Neither is this sentiment confined to men of extraordinary magnanimity and virtue. It is deeply impressed upon every tolerably good soldier, who feels that he would become the scorn of his companions, if he could be supposed capable of shrinking from danger, or of hesitating, either to expose or to throw away his life, when the good of the service required it.
** Chap. III.

* The great source of both the misery and disorders of human life, seems to arise from over-rating the difference between one permanent situation and another. Avarice over-rates the difference between poverty and riches: ambition, that between a private and a public station: vain-glory, that between obscurity and extensive reputation. The person under the influence of any of those extravagant passions, is not only miserable in his actual situation, but is often disposed to disturb the peace of society, in order to arrive at that which he so foolishly admires. The slightest observation, however, might satisfy him, that, in all the ordinary situations of human life, a well-disposed mind may be equally calm, equally cheerful, and equally contented. Some of those situations may, no doubt, deserve to be preferred to others: but none of them can deserve to be pursued with that passionate ardour which drives us to violate the rules either of prudence or of justice; or to corrupt the future tranquillity of our minds, either by shame from the remembrance of our own folly, or by remorse from the horror of our own injustice.
** Chap. III.

* In this consists the difference between the character of a miser and that of a person of exact economy and assiduity. The one is anxious about small matters for their own sake; the other attends to them only in consequence of the scheme of life which he has laid down to himself.
** Chap. VI.

====Part IV====
* How many people ruin themselves by laying out money on trinkets of frivolous utility? What pleases these lovers of toys is not so much the utility, as the aptness of the machines which are fitted to promote it. All their pockets are stuffed with little conveniences. They contrive new pockets, unknown in the clothes of other people, in order to carry a greater number. They walk about loaded with a multitude of baubles, in weight and sometimes in value not inferior to an ordinary Jew's-box, some of which may sometimes be of some little use, but all of which might at all times be very well spared, and of which the whole utility is certainly not worth the fatigue of bearing the burden.
** Chap. I.

* In the languor of disease and the weariness of old age, the pleasures of the vain and empty distinctions of greatness disappear. To one, in this situation, they are no longer capable of recommending those toilsome pursuits in which they had formerly engaged him. In his heart he curses ambition, and vainly regrets the ease and the indolence of youth, pleasures which are fled for ever, and which he has foolishly sacrificed for what, when he has got it, can afford him no real satisfaction. In this miserable aspect does greatness appear to every man when reduced either by spleen or disease to observe with attention his own situation, and to consider what it is that is really wanting to his happiness. Power and riches appear then to be, what they are, enormous and operose machines contrived to produce a few trifling conveniencies to the body, consisting of springs the most nice and delicate, which must be kept in order with the most anxious attention, and which, in spite of all our care, are ready every moment to burst into pieces, and to crush in their ruins their unfortunate possessor. ...&lt;br&gt;But though this '''splenetic philosophy''', which in time of sickness or low spirits is familiar to every man, thus entirely depreciates those great objects of human desire, when in better health and in better humour, we never fail to regard them under a more agreeable aspect. Our imagination, which in pain and sorrow seems to be confined and cooped up within our own persons, in times of ease and prosperity expands itself to every thing around us. We are then charmed with the beauty of that accommodation which reigns in the palaces and economy of the great; and admire how every thing is adapted to promote their ease, to prevent their wants, to gratify their wishes, and to amuse and entertain their most frivolous desires. If we consider the real satisfaction which all these things are capable of affording, by itself and separated from the beauty of that arrangement which is fitted to promote it, it will always appear in the highest degree contemptible and trifling. But we rarely view it in this abstract and philosophical light. We naturally confound it, in our imagination with the order, the regular and harmonious movement of the system, the machine or economy by means of which it is produced. The pleasures of wealth and greatness, when considered in this complex view, strike the imagination as something grand, and beautiful, and noble, of which the attainment is well worth all the toil and anxiety which we are so apt to bestow upon it.&lt;br&gt;And it is well that nature imposes upon us in this manner. It is this deception which rouses and keeps in continual motion the industry of mankind.
** Chap. I.

* '''In ease of body and peace of mind, all the different ranks of life are nearly upon a level, and the beggar, who suns himself by the side of the highway, possesses that security which kings are fighting for.'''
** Chap. I.

====Part V====
* There is not a negro from the coast of Africa who does not, in this respect, possess a degree of magnanimity which the soul of his sordid master is too often scarce capable of conceiving. Fortune never exerted more cruelly her empire over mankind, than when she subjected those nations of heroes to the refuse of the jails of Europe, to wretches who possess the virtues neither of the countries which they come from, nor of those which they go to, and whose levity, brutality, and baseness, so justly expose them to the contempt of the vanquished.
** Chap. II.

====Part VI====
* '''Every man, as the Stoics used to say, is first and principally recommended to his own care; and every man is certainly, in every respect, fitter and abler to take care of himself than of any other person. Every man feels his own pleasures and his own pains more sensibly than those of other people. The former are the original sensations; the latter the reflected or sympathetic images of those sensations. The former may be said to be the substance; the latter the shadow.'''
** Section II, Chap. I.

* The man of system, on the contrary, is apt to be very wise in his own conceit; and is often so enamoured with the supposed beauty of his own ideal plan of government, that he cannot suffer the smallest deviation from any part of it. He goes on to establish it completely and in all its parts, without any regard either to the great interests, or to the strong prejudices which may oppose it. He seems to imagine that he can arrange the different members of a great society with as much ease as the hand arranges the different pieces upon a chess-board. He does not consider that the pieces upon the chess-board have no other principle of motion besides that which the hand impresses upon them; but that, in the great chess-board of human society, every single piece has a principle of motion of its own, altogether different from that which the legislature might choose to impress upon it. If those two principles coincide and act in the same direction, the game of human society will go on easily and harmoniously, and is very likely to be happy and successful. If they are opposite or different, the game will go on miserably, and the society must be at all times in the highest degree of disorder.
** Section II, Chap. II.

* '''The wise and virtuous man''' is at all times willing that his own private interests should be sacrificed to the public interest of his own particular society--that the interests of this order of society be sacrificed to the greater interest of the state. He should therefore he equally willing that all those inferior interests should be sacrificed to the greater society of all sensible and intelligent beings.	
** Section II, Chap. III; cited by [[w:Reinhold Niebuhr|Reinhold Niebuhr]], ''The Children of Light and the Children of Darkness'', New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 19441, 24-25.

* The administration of the great system of the universe, however, the care of the universal happiness of all rational and sensible beings, is the business of God and not of man. To man is allotted a much humbler department, but one much more suitable to the weakness of his powers, and to the narrowness of his comprehension; the care of his own happiness, of that of his family, his friends, his country: that he is occupied in contemplating the more sublime, can never be an excuse for his neglecting the more humble department.
** Section II, Chap. III.

* The man who esteems himself as he ought, and no more than he ought, seldom fails to obtain from other people all the esteem that he himself thinks due. He desires no more than is due to him, and he rests upon it with complete satisfaction.
** Section III.

====Part VII====
* The virtue of frugality lies in a middle between avarice and profusion, of which the one consists in an excess, the other in a defect of the proper attention to the objects of self–interest.
** Section II, Chap. I.

===''{{w|The Wealth of Nations}}'' (1776)===
:&lt;small&gt;References are to book, chapter, subdivisions and (in some cases), paragraph, as given in the Glasgow edition (see below). Other editions include book and chapter only. Page numbers are included as a locational help.&lt;/small&gt;

* The annual labour of every nation is the fund which originally supplies it with all the necessaries and conveniences of life which it annually consumes.
** Introduction and Plan of the Work, p. 1.

* Among civilized and thriving nations, on the contrary, '''though a great number of people do no labor at all, many of whom consume the produce of ten times''', frequently of a hundred times more labour than the greater part of those who work; '''yet the produce of the whole labour of the society is so great, that all are often abundantly supplied, and a workman, even of the lowest and poorest order, if he is frugal and industrious, may enjoy a greater share of the necessaries and conveniencies of life than it is possible for any savage to acquire.'''
** Introduction and Plan of the Work, p. 2.

====Book I====
* The greatest improvement in the [[productive powers]] of labour, and the greatest part of skill, dexterity, and judgment with which it is any where directed, or applied, seem to have been the effects of '''the [[division of labour]]'''.
** Chapter I, p. 7
[[File:Defehrt epinglier pl2.jpg|thumb|Plate on pin-making, from Diderot's Encyclopédie (1762)]]

* To take an example, therefore, from a very trifling manufacture, but one in which the [[division of labour]] has been very often taken notice of, the trade of a pin-maker: a workman not educated to this business (which the division of labour has rendered a distinct trade, nor acquainted with the use of the machinery employed in it (to the invention of which the same division of labour has probably given occasion), could scarce, perhaps, with his utmost industry, make one pin in a day, and certainly could not make twenty. But in the way in which this business is now carried on, not only the whole work is a peculiar trade, but it is divided into a number of branches, of which the greater part are likewise peculiar trades. One man draws out the wire; another straights it; a third cuts it; a fourth points it; a fifth grinds it at the top for receiving the head; to make the head requires two or three distinct operations; to put it on is a peculiar business; to whiten the pins is another; it is even a trade by itself to put them into the paper; and the important business of making a pin is, in this manner, divided into about eighteen distinct operations, which, in some manufactories, are all performed by distinct hands, though in others the same man will sometimes perform two or three of them. I have seen a small manufactory of this kind, where ten men only were employed, and where some of them consequently performed two or three distinct operations. But though they were very poor, and therefore but indifferently accommodated with the necessary machinery, they could, when they exerted themselves, make among them about twelve pounds of pins in a day. There are in a pound upwards of four thousand pins of a middling size. Those ten persons, therefore, could make among them upwards of forty-eight thousand pins in a day. '''Each person, therefore, making a tenth part of forty-eight thousand pins, might be considered as making four thousand eight hundred pins in a day. But if they had all wrought separately and independently, and without any of them having been educated to this peculiar business, they certainly could not each of them have made twenty, perhaps not one pin in a day; that is, certainly, not the two hundred and fortieth, perhaps not the four thousand eight hundredth, part of what they are at present capable of performing, in consequence of a proper division and combination of their different operations.'''
** Chapter I, p. 8-9.

* This great increase of the quantity of work which, in consequence of the [[division of labour]], the same number of people are capable of performing, is owing to three different circumstances; first, to the increase of dexterity in every particular workman; secondly, to the saving of the time which is commonly lost in passing from one species of work to another; and lastly, to the invention of a great number of machines which facilitate and abridge labour, and enable one man to do the work of many.
** Chapter I
[[File:Rembrandt Harmensz. van Rijn 033.jpg|thumb|right|They who feed, cloath and lodge the whole body of the people, should have such a share of the produce of their own labour as to be themselves tolerably well fed, clothed, and lodged.]]

* Nobody ever saw a '''dog''' make a fair and '''deliberate exchange''' of one bone for another with another dog.
** Chapter II, p. 14.

* The difference between the most dissimilar characters, '''between a philosopher and a common street''' '''porter''', for example, seems to arise not so much from nature, as from habit, custom, and education.
** Chapter II, p. 17.

* '''By nature a philosopher is not in genius and disposition half so different from a street porter''', '''as a [[w:mastiff|mastiff]] is from a [[w:greyhound|greyhound]]''',
** Chapter II, p. 17.

* But man has almost constant occasion for the help of his brethren, and it is in vain for him to expect it from their benevolence only. He will be more likely to prevail if he can interest their '''[[w:self-love|self-love]]''' in his favour, and shew them that it is for their own advantage to do for him what he requires of them. Whoever offers to another a bargain of any kind, proposes to do this. Give me that which I want, and you shall have this which you want, is the meaning of every such offer; and it is in this manner that we obtain from one another the far greater part of those good offices which we stand in need of. '''It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker''' '''that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own interest'''. We address ourselves, not to their humanity, but to their self-love, and never talk to them of our own necessities, but of their advantages. Nobody but a beggar chooses to depend chiefly upon the benevolence of his fellow-citizens.
** Chapter II, p. 19.

* For in every country of the world, I believe, '''the avarice and injustice of''' '''[[w:princes|princes]]''' '''and [[w:sovereign states|sovereign states]]''', abusing the confidence of their subjects, have by degrees diminished the real quantity of metal, which had been originally contained in their coins.
** Chapter IV, p. 34.

* Every man is rich or poor according to the degree in which he can afford to enjoy the necessaries, conveniences, and amusements of human life. But after the [[division of labour]] has once thoroughly taken place, it is but a very small part of these with which a man's own labour can supply him. The far greater part of them he must derive from the labour of other people, and he must be rich or poor according to the quantity of that labour which he can command, or which he can afford to purchase. The value of any commodity, therefore, to the person who possesses it, and who means not to use or consume it himself, but to exchange it for other commodities, is equal to the quantity of labour which it enables him to purchase or command. '''Labour, therefore, is the real measure of the exchangeable value of all commodities'''.
** Chapter V.

* '''Labour was the first price, the original purchase-money that was paid for all things'''. '''It''' '''was not by gold or by silver, but by labour, that all the wealth of the world was''' '''originally purchased'''; and its value, to those who possess it, and who want to exchange it for some new productions, is precisely equal to the quantity of labour which it can enable them to purchase or command.
** Chapter V, p. 38.

* In reality, during the continuance of any one regulated proportion, between the respective values of the different values of the different metals in the coin, '''the value of the most precious metal''' '''regulates the value of the whole coin'''.
** Chapter V, p. 50.

* '''The value which the workmen add''' to the materials, therefore, '''resolves itself in this case''' '''into two parts''', of which''' the one pays their [[wages]]''', '''the other the profits of the''' '''employer''' upon the whole stock of materials and wages which he advanced.
** Chapter VI, p. 58.

* As soon as the land of any country has all become private property, '''the landlords''', '''like all''' '''other men''', '''love to reap where they never sowed''', and demand a rent even for its natural produce.
** Chapter VI, p. 60.

* '''A very poor man may be said in some sense to have a demand for a coach and six'''; he might like to have it; but his demand is not an '''[[w:effectual demand|effectual demand]]''', as the commodity can never be brought to market in order to satisfy it.
** Chapter VII, p. 67.

* The natural price, therefore, is, as it were, the central price, to which the prices of all commodities are continually gravitating.
** Chapter VII, p. 69.

* Secrets in manufactures are capable of being longer kept than secrets in trade.
** Chapter VII, p. 72.

* In the long-run '''the workman''' may be as necessary to his master as his master is to him, but the necessity is not so immediate.
** Chapter VIII, p. 80.

* We rarely hear, it has been said, of '''the combinations of masters''', though frequently of those of the workman. '''But whoever imagines, upon this account, that masters rarely combine, is as''' '''ignorant of the world as of the subject'''.
** Chapter VIII, p. 80.

* A man must always live by his work, and his [[wages]] must at least be sufficient to maintain him. They must even upon most occasions be somewhat more, otherwise it would be impossible for him to bring up a family, and the race of such workmen could not last beyond the first generation.
** Chapter VIII, p. 81.

* [[w:China|China]] has been long one of the richest, that is, one of the most fertile, best cultivated, most industrious, and most populous countries in the world. It seems, however, to have been long stationary. [[w:Marco Polo|Marco Polo]], who visited it more than five hundred years ago, describes its cultivation, industry, and populousness, almost in the same terms in which they are described by travellers in the present times.
** Chapter VIII, p. 86.

* The [[w:poverty|poverty]] of the lower ranks of people in [[w:China|China]] far surpasses that of the most beggarly nations of [[w:Europe|Europe]]. In the neighbourhood of [[w:Canton|Canton]] many hundred, it is commonly said, many thousand families have no habitation on the land, but live constantly in little fishing boats upon the rivers and the canals. The subsistence which they find there is so scanty that they are eager to fish up the nastiest garbage thrown overboard from any European ship. '''Any''' '''carrion, the carcase of a dead dog or cat, for example, though half putrid and stinking, is as welcome to them as the most wholesome food to the people of other countries'''.
** Chapter VIII, p. 86.

* [[w:Marriage|Marriage]] is encouraged in [[w:China|China]], not by the profitableness of children, but by the liberty of destroying them.
** Chapter VIII, p. 87.

* [[w:Oatmeal|Oatmeal]] indeed supplies the common people of [[w:Scotland|Scotland]] with the greatest and best part of their food, which is in general much inferior to that of their neighbours of the same rank in [[w:England|England]].
** Chapter VIII, p. 91 (Oatmeal in England makes for great horses, in Scotland Great Men).

* No society can surely be flourishing and happy, of which the greater part of the members are poor and miserable. It is but equity, besides, that '''they who feed, cloath and lodge the whole body of the people, should have such a share of the produce of their own labour as to be themselves tolerably well fed, clothed, and lodged.'''
** Chapter VIII, p. 94.

* It appears, accordingly, from the experience of all ages and nations, I believe, that the work done by freemen comes cheaper in the end than that performed by slaves.
** Chapter VIII.

* '''The liberal reward of labour,''' therefore, as it is the affect of increasing wealth, so it is the cause of increasing population. To complain of it, is to lament over the necessary effect and cause of the greatest public prosperity.
** Chapter VIII, p. 97.

* When profit diminishes, merchants are very apt to complain that trade decays; though the diminution of profit is the natural effect of its prosperity, or of a greater stock being employed in it than before.
** Chapter IX&lt;!-- p. 110?--&gt;

* A great stock, though with small profits, generally increases faster than a small stock with great profits. '''Money, says the proverb, makes money.''' When you have a little, it is often easier to get more. '''The great difficulty is to get that little'''.
** Chapter IX, p. 111.

* Our merchants and master-manufacturers complain much of the bad effects of high [[wages]] in raising the price, and thereby lessening the sale of their goods both at home and abroad. '''They say nothing concerning the bad effects of high profits. They are silent with regard to the pernicious effects of their own gains. They complain only of those of other people.'''
** Chapter IX, p. 117.

* The establishment of any new manufacture, of any new branch of commerce, or any new practice in agriculture, is always '''a speculation, from which the projector promises himself extraordinary''' '''profits.''' These profits sometimes are very great, and sometimes, more frequently, perhaps, they are quite otherwise; but in general they bear no regular proportion to those of other older trades in the neighbourhood. If the project succeeds, they are commonly at first very high. '''When''' '''the trade or practice becomes thoroughly established and well known, the competition''' '''reduces them to the level of other trades.'''
** Chapter X, Part I, p. 136  ([[w:tendency of the rate of profit to fall|tendency of the rate of profit to fall]]).

* The world neither ever saw, nor ever will see, a perfectly fair lottery.
** [http://books.google.com/books?id=QItKAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=%22The+world+neither+ever+saw+nor+ever+will+see+a+perfectly+fair+lottery%22&amp;pg=PA76#v=onepage Chapter X, Part I].

* The real and effectual discipline which is exercised over a workman is that of his customers. It is the fear of losing their employment which restrains his frauds and corrects his negligence.
** Chapter X, Part II.

* '''People of the same trade seldom meet together, even for merriment and diversion, but the conversation ends in a conspiracy against the public, or in some contrivance to raise prices.''' It is impossible indeed to prevent such meetings, by any law which either could be executed, or would be consistent with liberty or justice. But though the law cannot hinder people of the same trade from sometimes assembling together, it ought to do nothing to facilitate such assemblies; much less to render them necessary.
** Chapter X, Part II, p. 152.

* the competition of the poor takes away from the reward of the rich.
** Chapter X, Part II, p. 154.

* In [[w:England|England]], and in all [[w:Roman Catholic|Roman Catholic]] countries, the [[w:lottery|lottery]] of the church is in reality much more advantageous than is necessary.
** Chapter X, Part II, p. 155.

* '''Whenever the legislature attempts to regulate the differences between masters and their''' '''workmen,''' its counsellors are always the masters. When the regulation, therefore, is in favor of the workmen, it is always just and equitable; but it is sometimes otherwise when in favor of the masters.
** Chapter x, Part II, p. 168.

* '''Good roads, canals, and navigable rivers''', by diminishing the expence of carriage, put the remote parts of the country more nearly upon a level with those of the neighbourhood of the town. '''They are upon that the greatest of all improvements.'''
** Chapter XI, Part I, p. 174.

* With the greater part of '''rich people''', the chief enjoyment of riches consists '''in the parade of riches''', which in their eye is never so complete as when they appear to possess those decisive marks of opulence which nobody can possess but themselves.
** Chapter XI, Part II, p. 202  (See also [[w:Thorstein Veblen|Thorstein Veblen]]).

* [[w:China|China]] is a much richer country than any part of [[w:Europe|Europe]].
** Chapter XI, Part III, (First Period) p. 221.

* '''Corn is a necessary, silver is only a superfluity.'''
** Chapter XI, Part III, (First Period) p. 223.

*'''The retinue of a grandee in China or Indostan''' accordingly is, by all accounts, much more numerous and splendid than that of the richest subjects of Europe.
** Chapter XI, Part III, Third Period, p. 240.

* It is the natural '''effect of improvement''', however, '''to diminish gradually the real price''' of almost all manufactures.
** Chapter XI, Part III, (Conclusion..) p. 282.

* '''The interest of the dealers, however, in any particular branch of trade or manufactures, is always in some respects different from, and even opposite to, that of the public. To widen the market and to narrow the competition, is always the interest of the dealers.'''
** Chapter XI, Part III, Conclusion of the Chapter, p. 292.

* '''The proposal of any new law or regulation of commerce which comes from this order, ought always to be listened to with great precaution''', and ought never to be adopted till after having been long and carefully examined, not only with the most scrupulous, but with the most suspicious attention.  '''It comes from an order of men, whose interest is never exactly the same with that of the public, who have generally an interest to deceive and even to oppress the public''', and who accordingly have, upon many occasions, both deceived and oppressed it.&quot;
** Chapter XI, Part III, Conclusion of the Chapter, p. 292.

====Book II====
* His [[capital]] is continually going from him in one shape, and returning to him in another, and it is only by means of such circulation, or successive exchanges, that it can yield him any profit. Such capitals, therefore, may very properly be called '''circulating capitals'''.
** Chapter I, p. 305.

* No '''[[w:fixed capital|fixed capital]]''' can yield any revenue but by means of a '''[[w:circulating capital|circulating capital]]'''.
** Chapter I, p. 311.

* A man must be perfectly crazy who, where there is tolerable security, does not employ all the stock which he commands,...
** Chapter I, p. 313 (see [[w:opportunity cost|opportunity cost]]).

* Thus the labour of a manufacture adds, generally, to the value of the materials which he works upon, that of his own maintenance, and of his masters profits. '''The labour of a menial servant, on the contrary, adds to the value of nothing.'''
** Chapter III, p. 364 (see Proverbs 14-23 KJV).

* The annual produce of the land and labour of any nation can be increased in its value by no other means, but by increasing either the number of its productive labourers, or the productive powers of those labourers who had before been employed.
** Chapter III, p. 377.

*Though the profusion of Government must undoubtedly have retarded the natural progress of England to wealth and improvement, it has not been able to stop it.
** Chapter III.

* It is the highest impertinence and presumption, therefore, in kings and ministers, '''to pretend to''' '''watch over the economy of private people''', and to restrain their expence, either by sumptuary laws, or by prohibiting the importation of foreign luxuries. They are themselves always, and without any exception, the greatest spendthrifts in the society. Let them look well after their own expence, and they may safely trust private people with theirs. '''If their own extravagance does''' '''not ruin the state, that of their subjects never will.'''
** Chapter III, p. 381.

* The ancient [[w:Egyptians|Egyptians]] had a superstitious antipathy to the sea; a superstition nearly of the same kind prevails among the [[w:Indians|Indians]]; '''and the Chinese have never excelled in foreign commerce.'''
** Chapter V, p. 402.

====Book III====
* It seldom happens, however, that a great proprietor is a great improver.
** Chapter IV, p. 420.

* Avarice and injustice are always shortsighted, and they did not foresee how much this regulation must obstruct improvement, and thereby hurt in the long-run the real interest of the landlord.
** Chapter II, p. 426-427.

* But what all the violence of the feudal institutions could never have effected, the silent and insensible operation of foreign commerce and manufactures gradually brought about.
** Chapter IV, p. 448.

* '''By the removal of the unnecessary mouths''', and by extracting from the farmer the full value of the farm, a greater surplus, or what is the same thing, the price of a greater surplus, was obtained for the proprietor...
** Chapter IV, p. 450 (On [[w:Highland Clearances|Highland Clearances]]).

* A merchant, it has been said very properly, is not necessarily the citizen of any particular country.
** Chapter IV, p. 456.

* All for ourselves, and nothing for other people, seems, in every age of the world, to have been the vile maxim of the masters of mankind.
** Chapter IV, p. 448.

====Book IV====
* '''POLITICAL economy''', considered as a branch of the science of a statesman or legislator, proposes two distinct objects: first, to provide a plentiful revenue or subsistence for the people, or more properly to enable them to provide such a revenue or subsistence for themselves; and secondly, to supply the state or commonwealth with a revenue sufficient for the public services. '''It proposes to enrich both the people and the sovereign.'''
** Introduction, p. 459.

* '''The great affair, we always find, is to get money.'''
** Chapter I, p. 460.

* '''When the profits of trade''' happen to be greater than ordinary, '''over-trading''' becomes a general error both '''among great and small dealers.'''
** Chapter I, p. 469.

* It would be too ridiculous to go about seriously to prove that wealth does not consist in money, or in gold and silver; but in what money purchases, and is valuable only for purchasing. Money no doubt, makes always a part of the national [[capital]]; but it has already been shown that it generally makes but a small part, and always the most unprofitable part of it.
** Chapter I, p. 470.

* Goods can serve many other purposes besides purchasing money, but money can serve no other purpose besides purchasing goods.
** Chapter I, p. 471.

* It is not for its own sake that men desire money, but for the sake of what they can purchase with it.
** Chapter I, p. 471.

* We do not, however, reckon that trade disadvantageous which consists in the exchange of the hard-ware of England for the wines of France;and yet hard-ware is a very durable commodity, and were it not for this continual exportation, might too be accumulated for ages together, to the incredible augmentation of the '''pots and pans''' of the country. But it readily occurs that the number of such utensils is in every country necessarily limited by the use which there is for them;that it would be absurd to have more '''pots and pans''' than were necessary for cooking the victuals usually consumed there;and that if the quantity of victuals were to increase, the number of '''pots and pans''' would readily increase along with it, apart of the increased quantity of victuals being employed in purchasing them, or in maintaining an additional number of workman whose business it was to make them.
** Chapter I, p. 471.

* The importation of [[w:gold|gold]] and [[w:silver|silver]] is not the principal, much less the sole benefit which a nation derives from its [[w:foreign trade|foreign trade]].
** Chapter I, p. 479.

* The commodities of Europe were almost all new to America, and many of those of America were new to Europe. A new set of exchanges, therefore, began..and which should naturally have proved as advantageous to the new, as it certainly did to the old continent. '''The savage injustice of the''' '''Europeans rendered an event, which ought to have been beneficial to all, ruinous and destructive to''' '''several of those unfortunate countries'''.
** Chapter I, p. 481.

* No regulation of commerce can increase the quantity of industry in any society beyond what its [[capital]] can maintain. It can only divert a part of it into a direction into which it might not otherwise have gone; and it is by no means certain that this artificial direction is likely to be more advantageous to the society than that into which it would have gone of its own accord. Every individual is continually exerting himself to find out the most advantageous employment for whatever capital he can command. It is his own advantage, indeed, and not that of the society, which he has in his view. But the study of his own advantage naturally, or rather necessarily leads him '''to prefer that employment which is most advantageous to the society.'''
** Chapter II, p. 486.

*As every individual, therefore, endeavours as much as he can both to employ his [[capital]] in the support of [[domestic industry]], and so to direct that industry that its produce may be of the greatest value; every individual necessarily labours to render the annual revenue of the society as great as he can. He generally, indeed, neither intends to promote the public interest, nor knows how much he is promoting it. By preferring the support of domestic to that of foreign industry, he intends only his own security; and by directing that industry in such a manner as its produce may be of the greatest value, he intends only his own gain, and he is in this, as in many other cases, led by '''an [[invisible hand]]''' to promote an end which was no part of his intention. Nor is it always the worse for the society that it was no part of it. '''By pursuing his own interest he frequently promotes that''' '''of the society more effectually than when he really intends to promote it. I have never known much good done by those who affected to trade for the public good.''' It is an affectation, indeed, not very common among merchants, and very few words need be employed in dissuading them from it.
** Chapter II, p. 488-489. &lt;!-- p. 421 of the online Liberty Fund edition. --&gt;

* The statesman who should attempt to direct people in what manner they ought to employ their capitals, would not only load himself with a most unnecessary attention, but assume an authority which could safely be trusted, not only to no single person, but to no council or senate whatever, and which would nowhere be so dangerous as in the hands of a man who had folly and presumption enough to fancy himself fit to exercise it.
** Chapter II

* To give the monopoly of the home-market to the produce of [[domestic industry]], in any particular art or manufacture, is in some measure to direct private people in what manner they ought to employ their capitals, and must, in almost all cases, be either a useless or a hurtful regulation.
** Chapter II, p. 489. &lt;!-- pp. 421-422 of the online Liberty Fund edition. --&gt;

* What is '''prudence''' in the conduct of every private family, can scarce be '''folly''' in that of a great kingdom.
** Chapter II, p. 490. &lt;!-- p. 422 of the online Liberty Fund edition. --&gt;

*In manufactures, a very small advantage will enable foreigners to undersell our own workmen, even in the home market. It will require a very great one to enable them to do so in the rude produce of the soil. If the free importation of foreign manufactures were permitted, several of the home manufactures would probably suffer, and some of them, perhaps, go to ruin altogether, and a considerable part of the stock and industry at present employed in them, would be forced to find out some other employment. But the freest importation of the rude produce of the soil could have no such effect upon the agriculture of the country.
**Chapter II &lt;!-- p. 424 of the online Liberty Fund edition. --&gt;

*If the importation of foreign cattle, for example, were made ever so free, so few could be imported, that the grazing trade of Great Britain could be little affected by it. Live cattle are, perhaps, the only commodity of which the transportation is more expensive by sea than by land.
**Chapter II &lt;!-- p. 424 of the online Liberty Fund edition. --&gt;

*The freest importation of salt provisions, in the same manner, could have as little effect upon the interest of the graziers of Great Britain as that of live cattle. Salt provisions are not only a very bulky commodity, but when compared with fresh meat, they are a commodity both of worse quality, and as they cost more labour and expence, of higher price. They could never, therefore, come into competition with the fresh meat, though they might with the salt provisions of the country.
**Chapter II &lt;!-- p. 425 of the online Liberty Fund edition. --&gt;

*Even the free importation of foreign corn could very little affect the interest of the farmers of Great Britain. Corn is a much more bulky commodity than butcher's-meat. A pound of wheat at a penny is as dear as a pound of butcher's-meat at fourpence. The small quantity of foreign corn imported even in times of the greatest scarcity, may satisfy our farmers that they can have nothing to fear from the freest importation. 
**Chapter II &lt;!-- pp. 426-427 of the online Liberty Fund edition. --&gt;

*There seem, however, to be two cases in which it will generally be advantageous to lay some burden upon foreign, for the encouragement of domestic industry. The first is, when some particular sort of industry is necessary for the defence of the country. The defence of Great Britain, for example, depends very much upon the number of its sailors and shipping. The [[w:Navigation Acts|act of navigation]], therefore, very properly endeavours to give the sailors and shipping of Great Britain the monopoly of the trade of their own country, in some cases, by absolute prohibitions, and in others by heavy burdens upon the shipping of foreign countries.
** Chapter II &lt;!-- p. 427 of the online Liberty Fund edition. --&gt;

*When the act of navigation was made, though England and Holland were not actually at war, the most violent animosity subsisted between the two nations. ... It is not impossible, therefore, that some of the regulations of this famous act may have proceeded from national animosity. They are as wise, however, as if they had all been dictated by the most deliberate wisdom. National animosity at that particular time aimed at the very same object which the most deliberate wisdom would have recommended, the diminution of the naval power of Holland, the only naval power which could endanger the security of England.
** Chapter II &lt;!-- pp. 428-429 of the online Liberty Fund edition. --&gt;

*The act of navigation is not favourable to foreign commerce, or to the growth of that opulence which can arise from it. ... As '''defence, however, is of much more importance than opulence''', the act of navigation is, perhaps, the wisest of all the commercial regulations of England.
** Chapter II &lt;!-- p. 429 of the online Liberty Fund edition. --&gt;

* Such taxes [upon the necessaries of life], when they have grown up to a certain height, are a curse equal to the barrenness of the earth and the inclemency of the heavens; and yet it is in the richest and most industrious countries that they have been most generally imposed. No other countries could support so great a disorder.
** Chapter II, paragraph 36, p. 500.

* To expect, indeed, that the freedom of trade should ever be entirely restored in [[w:Great Britain|Great Britain]], is as absurd as to expect that an [[w:Oceana|Oceana]] or [[w:Utopia|Utopia]] should never be established in it.
** Chapter II, p. 505.

* The sneaking arts of underling tradesmen are thus erected into political maxims for the conduct of a great empire; for it is the most underling tradesmen only who make it a rule to employ chiefly their own customers. A great trader purchases his good always where they are cheapest and best, without regard to any little interest of this kind.
** Chapter III, Part II, p. 530.

* '''The violence and injustice  of the rulers of mankind''' is an ancient evil, for which, I am afraid, the nature of human affairs can scarce admit a remedy.
** Chapter III, Part II, p. 531.

* In every country it always is and must be the interest of the great body of the people to buy whatever they want of those who sell it cheapest. The proposition is so very manifest that it seems ridiculous to take any pains to prove it; nor could it ever have been called in question had not the interested sophistry of merchants and manufacturers confounded the common sense of mankind. Their interest is, in this respect, directly opposite to that of the great body of the people.
** Chapter III, Part II, p. 531.

* [[w:Mercantile|Mercantile]] jealousy is excited, and both inflames, and is itself inflamed, by the violence of national animosity:...
** Chapter III, Part II, p. 534.

* In public, as well as in private expences, '''great wealth''' may, perhaps, frequently be admitted as an apology for '''great folly'''.
** Chapter V, p. 563.

* The man who employs either his labour or his stock in a grater variety of ways than his situation renders necessary, can never hurt his neighbour by underselling him. He may hurt himself, and he generally does so. Jack of all trades will never be rich, says the proverb. But the law ought always to trust people with the care of their own interest, as in their local situations they must generally be able to judge better of it than the legislator can do.
** Chapter V, Digression, p. 572.

* I have no great faith in '''political arithmetic''', and I mean not to warrant the exactness of either of these computations.
** Chapter V, p. 577.

* To hinder, besides, the farmer from selling his goods at all times to the best market, is evidently to sacrifice the ordinary laws of justice to an idea of public utility, to a sort of reasons of state; an act of legislative authority which ought to be exercised only, which can be pardoned only in cases of the most urgent necessity.
** Chapter V, p. 584.

* The natural effort of every individual to better his own condition, when suffered to exert itself with freedom and security is so powerful a principle that it is alone, and without any assistance, not only capable of carrying on the society to wealth and prosperity, but of surmounting a hundred impertinent obstructions with which the folly of human laws too often incumbers its operations; though the effect of these obstructions is always more or less either to encroach upon its freedom, or to diminish its security.
** Chapter V, paragraph 82.

* Of all those expensive and uncertain projects, however, which bring bankruptcy upon the greater part of the people who engage in in them, there is none perhaps more perfectly ruinous than '''the search after new silver and gold mines.''' It is perhaps '''the most disadvantageous [[w:lottery|lottery]] in the world,''' or the one in which the gain of those who draw the prizes bears the least proportion to the loss of those who draw the blanks: for though the prizes are few and the blanks are many, the common '''price of a ticket is the whole fortune of a very rich man.'''
** Chapter VII, Part First, p. 610.

* The government of an exclusive company of merchants is, perhaps, the worst of all governments for any country whatever.
** Chapter VII, Part Second, p. 619.

* To found a great empire for the sole purpose of raising up a people of customers, may at first appear '''a project fit only for a [[w:nation of shopkeepers|nation of shopkeepers]]'''. It is however, a project altogether unfit for a nation of shopkeepers; but extremely fit for '''a nation whose government is influenced by''' '''shopkeepers'''.
** Chapter VII, Part Third, p. 667.

* [[w:Monopoly|Monopoly]] of one kind or another, indeed, seems to be the sole engine of the [[w:mercantile system|mercantile system]].
** Chapter VII, Part Third, p. 684.

* '''[[w:Consumption|Consumption]] is the sole end and purpose of all [[w:production|production]]'''; and the interest of the producer ought to be attended to, only so far as it may be necessary for promoting that of the consumer.
** Chapter VIII, p. 719.

* It cannot be very difficult to determine who have been the contrivers of this whole '''[[w:mercantile system|mercantile system]]'''; not the consumers, we may believe, whose interest has been entirely neglected; but the producers, whose interests has been so carefully attended to; and among this later class our merchants and manufactures have been by far the principal architects. In the mercantile regulations, which have been taken notice of in this chapter, the interest of our manufacturers has been most peculiarly attended to;and the interest, not so much of the consumers, as that of some other sets of producers, has been sacrificed to it.
** Chapter VIII, p. 721.

* '''Every system which endeavours, either, by extraordinary encouragements, to draw towards a particular species of industry a greater share of the capital of the society than what would naturally go to it; or, by extraordinary restraints, to force from a particular species of industry some share of the capital which would otherwise be employed in it; is in reality subversive of the great purpose which it means to promote.''' It retards, instead of accelerating, the progress of the society towards real wealth and greatness; and diminishes, instead of increasing, the real value of the annual produce of its land and labour. &lt;br&gt; All systems either of preference or of restraint, therefore, being thus completely taken away, the obvious and simple system of natural liberty establishes itself of its own accord. '''Every man, as long as he does not violate the laws of justice, is left perfectly free to pursue his own interest his own way, and to bring both his industry and capital into competition with those of any other man, or order of men.''' The sovereign is completely discharged from a duty, in the attempting to perform which he must always be exposed to innumerable delusions, and for the proper performance of which no human wisdom or knowledge could ever be sufficient; the duty of superintending the industry of private people, and of directing it towards the employments most suitable to the interest of the society. According to the system of natural liberty, the sovereign has only three duties to attend to; three duties of great importance, indeed, but plain and intelligible to common understandings: first, the duty of protecting the society from the violence and invasion of other independent societies; secondly, the duty of protecting, as far as possible, every member of the society from the injustice or oppression of every other member of it, or the duty of establishing an exact [[administration of justice]]; and, thirdly, the duty of erecting and maintaining certain public works and certain public institutions, which it can never be for the interest of any individual, or small number of individuals, to erect and maintain; because the profit could never repay the expence to any individual, or small number of individuals, though it may frequently do much more than repay it to a great society. &lt;br&gt; '''The proper performance of those several duties of the sovereign necessarily supposes a certain expence; and this expence again necessarily requires a certain revenue to support it.'''
**Chapter IX, p. 749.

====Book V====
* '''Wherever there is great [[w:property|property]], there is great [[w:inequality|inequality]].'''
** Chapter I, Part II, p. 770.

* '''Civil government''', so far as it is instituted for the security of property, '''is in reality''' '''instituted for the defence of the rich against the poor''', or of those who have some property against those who have none at all.
** Chapter I, Part II, 775.

* Upstart greatness is everywhere less respected than ancient greatness.
** Chapter I, Part II, p. 773.

* Justice, however, never was in reality administered gratis in any country. '''[[w:Lawyers|Lawyers]] and [[w:attornies|attornies]],''' at least, must always be paid by the parties; and, if they were not, they would perform their duty still worse than they actually perform it.
** Chapter I, Part II, p. 778.

* The '''tolls''' for the maintenance of a '''high road''', cannot with any safety be made the property of private persons.
** Chapter I, Part III, Article I, p. 786 (See also.. [[w:Public-private partnerships|Public-private partnerships]]).

* The '''[[w:Hudson's Bay Company|Hudson's Bay Company]]''', before their misfortunes in the late war, had been much more fortunate than the '''[[w:Royal African Company|Royal African Company]]'''.
** Chapter I, Part III, p. 806.

* That a [[w:joint stock company|joint stock company]] should be able to carry on successfully any branch of [[w:foreign trade|foreign trade]], when private adventurers can come into any sort of open and fair competition with them, seems contrary to all experience.
** Chapter I, Part III, Article I, p. 810.

* The directors of such [joint-stock] companies, however, being the managers rather of other people's money than of their own, it cannot well be expected, that they should watch over it with the same anxious vigilance with which the partners in a private copartnery frequently watch over their own.... '''Negligence and profusion''', therefore, must always prevail, more or less, in the management of the affairs of such a company.
** Chapter I, Part III, Article I, orig.p. 233.

* Though the principles of the '''[[w:banking|banking]]''' trade may appear somewhat abstruse, the practice is capable of being reduced to strict rules. To depart upon any occasion from these rules, in consequence of '''some flattering speculation of extraordinary gain''', '''is almost always extremely dangerous''', and frequently fatal to the banking company which attempts it.
** Chapter I, Part III, p. 820.

* The trade of '''[[w:insurance|insurance]]''' gives great security to the fortunes of private people, and by dividing among a great many that loss which would ruin an individual, makes it fall light and easy upon the whole society.
** Chapter I, Part III, p. 821.

* In England, success in '''the profession of the''' '''[[w:law|law]]''' leads to some very great objects of ambition; and yet how few men, born to easy fortunes, have ever in this country been eminent in that profession?
** Chapter I, Part III, p. 824.

* The '''[[w:education|education]] of the common people''' '''requires''', perhaps, in a civilized and commercial society, '''the attention of the [[w:public|public]]''' more than that of people of some rank and fortune.
** Chapter I, Part III, p. 845.

* For a very small expence '''the public can facilitate, can encourage, and can even impose upon almost the whole body of the people''', the necessity of acquiring those most essential parts of education.
** Chapter I, Part III, Article II, p. 847.

* '''Fear is in almost all cases a wretched instrument of government''', and ought in particular never to be employed against any order of men who have the smallest pretensions to independency.
** Chapter I, Part III, p. 862.

* '''Nothing but the most exemplary morals can give dignity to a man of small fortune.'''
** Chapter I, Part III, Article III, p. 874.

* '''It is unjust that the whole of society should contribute towards an expence of which the benefit is confined to a part of the society.'''
** Chapter I, Part IV, Conclusion, p. 881.

* '''Lands for the purposes of pleasure and magnificence''', parks, gardens, public walks, &amp;c. possessions which are every where considered as causes of expence, not as sources of revenue, seem to be the only lands which, in a great and civilized monarchy, '''ought to belong [[w:the crown|the crown]]'''.
** Chapter II, Part I, p. 891.

* I. The subjects of every state ought to contribute towards the support of the government, as nearly as possible, in proportion to their respective abilities, that is, in proportion to the revenue which they respectively enjoy under the protection of the state.
** Chapter II, Part II, p. 892.

* II. The tax which each individual is bound to pay ought to be certain, and not arbitrary.
** Chapter II, Part II, p. 892.

* III. Every tax ought to be levied at the time, or in the manner, in which it is most likely to be convenient for the contributor to pay it.
** Chapter II Part II, p. 893.

* IV. Every tax ought to be contrived as both to take out and to keep out of the pockets of the people as little as possible, over and above what it brings into the public treasury of the state.
** Chapter II, Part II, p. 893.

* The evident justice and utility of the foregoing maxims have recommended them more or less to the attention of all nations.
** Chapter II, Part II, p. 894.

* But though empires, like all the other works of men, have all hitherto proved mortal, yet '''every empire aims at immortality.'''
** Chapter II, Part II, p. 896.

* The necessaries of life occasion the great expense of the poor. They find it difficult to get food, and the greater part of their little revenue is spent in getting it. The luxuries and vanities of life occasion the principal expense of the rich, and a magnificent house embellishes and sets off to the best advantage all the other luxuries and vanities which they possess. A tax upon house-rents, therefore, would in general fall heaviest upon the rich; and in this sort of inequality there would not, perhaps, be anything very unreasonable. It is not very unreasonable that '''the rich should contribute to the public expense, not only in proportion to their revenue, but something more than in that proportion.'''
** Chapter II, Part II, Article I, p. 911.

* '''Every [[w:tax|tax]], however, is to the person who pays it a badge, not of slavery but of [[w:liberty|liberty]].''' It denotes that he is a subject to government, indeed, but that, as he has some property, he cannot himself be the property of a master.
** Chapter II, Part II, p. 927.

* There is no art which one government sooner learns of another than that of draining money from the pockets of the people.
** Chapter II, Part II, Appendix to Articles I and II.

* '''All registers which, it is acknowledged, ought to be kept secret, ought certainly never to exist.'''
** Chapter II, Part II, Appendix to Articles I and II, p. 935.

* It may indeed be doubted, whether butcher's [[meat]] is any where a necessary of life. Grain and other vegetables, with the help of milk, cheese, and butter, or oil, where butter is not to be had, it is known from experience, can, [[vegetarianism|without any butcher's meat]], afford the most plentiful, the most wholesome, the most nourishing, and the most invigorating diet.
** Chapter II, Part II, Appendix to Articles I and II.

* If a workman can conveniently spare those three halfpence, he buys a pot of porter. If he cannot, he contents himself with a pint, and, '''as a penny saved is a penny got''', he thus gains a farthing by his [[w:temperance|temperance]].
** Chapter II, Part II, Article IV, p. 951.

* That of [[w:beaver|beaver]] skins, of beaver wool, and of gum Senega, has been subjected to higher duties; Great Britain, by the [[w:conquest of Canada|conquest of Canada]] and [[w:Senegal|Senegal]], having got almost the monopoly of those commodities.
** Chapter II, Part II, Article IV, p. 954-955.

* The value of money is in proportion to the quantity of the necessaries of life which it will purchase.
** Chapter II, Part II, Article IV.

* '''But bounty and hospitality very seldom lead to extravagance; though vanity almost always does.'''
** Chapter III, Part V, p. 987.

*When '''national debts''' have once been accumulated to a certain degree, there is scarce, I believe, a single instance of their having been fairly and completely paid. The liberation of the public revenue, if it has ever been brought about at all, has always been brought about by '''bankruptcy'''; sometimes by an avowed one, but always by a real one, though frequently by a pretend payment.
** Chapter III, Part V, p. 1012.

* The rulers of Great Britain have, for more than a century past, amused the people with the '''imagination''' that they possessed a great empire on the west side of the Atlantic. '''This [[w:empire|empire]]''', '''however, has hitherto existed in [[w:imagination|imagination]] only'''.
** Chapter III, Part V, p. 1032 (Last Page).

==Attributed==

:I recollect, when I was lamenting to the Doctor [Adam Smith] the misfortunes of the American war, and exclaimed, &quot;If we go on at this rate, the nation ''must be ruined''; he answered, &quot;Be assured, my young friend, that there is a great deal ''of ruin'' in a nation.&quot;
::[[w:Sir John Sinclair, 1st Baronet|Sir John Sinclair, 1st Baronet]], pg390-391 of his letters/memoirs, [https://books.google.com/books?id=dJxCAAAAcAAJ&amp;pg=PA391#v=onepage ''The Correspondence'' v1]

==Quotes about Adam Smith==
[[File:Adam Smith statue by Alexander Stoddart.jpg|thumb|Even today — in blithe disregard to his actual [[philosophy]] — Smith is generally regarded as a ''[[conservative]]'' [[economist]], whereas in [[fact]], he is more avowedly hostile to the ''[[motives]]'' of [[businessman]] than most [[w:New Deal|New Deal]] economists.]]

=== A-L ===
*We are forced, in equity, to share the government with the working class by considerations which were made supreme by the awakening of political economy. Adam Smith set up two propositions—that contracts ought to be free between capital and labour, and that labour is the source, he sometimes says the only source, of wealth. If the last sentence, in its exclusive form, was true, it was difficult to resist the conclusion that the class on which national prosperity depends ought to control the wealth it supplies, that is, ought to govern instead of the useless unproductive class, and that the class which earns the increment ought to enjoy it. That is the foreign effect of Adam Smith—[[French Revolution]] and [[Socialism]].
**[[John Dalberg-Acton, 1st Baron Acton|Lord Acton]] to Mary Gladstone (24 April 1881), quoted in Lord Acton, ''Letters of Lord Acton to Mary, Daughter of The Right Hon. W. E. Gladstone'', ed. Herbert Paul (1904), pp. 91-92

*[''The Wealth of Nations'' gave a] scientific backbone to liberal sentiment.
**[[John Dalberg-Acton, 1st Baron Acton|Lord Acton]], private notes, quoted in G. E. Fasnacht, ''Acton's Political Philosophy: An Analysis'' (1952), p. 145

*[[Edmund Burke|Mr. Burke]] talked in very high terms of Dr. Adam Smith; praised the clearness and depth of his understanding, his profound and extensive learning, and the vast accession that had accrued to British literature and philosophy from these exertions, and described his heart as being equally good with his head and his manners as peculiarly pleasing. Mr. Smith, he said, told him, after they had conversed on subjects of political economy, that he was the only man, who, without communication, thought on these topics exactly as he did.
**Robert Bisset, ''The Life of Edmund Burke, Volume II'' (1800), pp. 428-429

* Adam Smith, who has strong claim to being both the Adam and the Smith of systematic [[economics]], was a professor of moral philosophy and it was at that forge that economics was made.
** [[Kenneth Boulding]] (1969) ''Economics As A Moral Science'', p. 12

*[T]he simple fact is, of course, that in normal trade ''all'' parties gain; there exist ''mutual gains from trade''. The great contribution of Adam Smith lay in his popularization of this simple point, but the full import of this conception for democratic political theory does not seem to have yet been appreciated.
**[[w:James M. Buchanan|James M. Buchanan]] and [[w:Gordon Tullock|Gordon Tullock]], ''[[w:The Calculus of Consent|The Calculus of Consent: Logical Foundations of Constitutional Democracy]]'' (1962), p. 250

*An excellent digest of all that is valuable in former Oeconomical writers with many valuable corrective Observations.
**[[Edmund Burke]], remark on ''The Wealth of Nations'' as recorded by [[Dugald Stewart]] (8 April 1784), quoted in Ian Simpson Ross, ''The Life of Adam Smith'' (1995; 2nd. ed. 2010), p. 376

* He's pre-capitalist, a figure of the Enlightenment. What we would call capitalism he despised. People read snippets of Adam Smith, the few phrases they teach in school. Everybody reads the first paragraph of ''The Wealth of Nations'' where he talks about how wonderful the division of labor is. But not many people get to the point hundreds of pages later, where he says that division of labor will destroy human beings and turn people into creatures as stupid and ignorant as it is possible for a human being to be. And therefore in any civilized society the government is going to have to take some measures to prevent division of labor from proceeding to its limits.
** [[w:Noam Chomsky|Noam Chomsky]] (1995) ''[[w:Class Warfare|Class Warfare]]'', pp. 19-23

*  About this time two others, men of great talents and learning, promoted the cause of the injured Africans, by the manner in which they introduced them to notice in their respective works. &lt;br&gt; Dr. Adam Smith, in his Theory of Moral Sentiments, had, so early as the year 1759, held them up in an honourable, and their tyrants in a degrading light. &quot;There is not a Negro from the coast of Africa, who does not, in this respect, possess a degree of magnanimity which the soul of his sordid master is too often scarce capable of conceiving. Fortune never exerted more cruelly her empire over mankind, than when she subjected those nations of heroes to the refuse of the gaols of Europe, to wretches who possess the virtue neither of the countries they came from, nor of those they go to, and whose levity, brutality, and baseness so justly expose them to the contempt of the vanquished.&quot; And now, in 1776, in his Wealth of Nations he showed in a forcible manner (for he appealed to the interest of those concerned,) the dearness of African labour; or the impolicy of employing slaves. 
** [[w:Thomas Clarkson|Thomas Clarkson]] ''The History of the Rise, Progress, and Accomplishment of the Abolition of the African Slave-Trade by the British Parliament'', p. 75 (1808) [https://books.google.com/books?id=mfVeAAAAcAAJ&amp;pg=PA75][http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/10633]

*If I were five-and-twenty or thirty, instead of, unhappily, twice that number of years, I would take Adam Smith in hand—I would not go beyond him, I would have no politics in it—I would take Adam Smith in hand, and I would have a League for free trade in Land just as we had a League for free trade in Corn. You will find just the same authority in Adam Smith for the one as for the other; and if it were only taken up as it must be taken up to succeed, not as a political, revolutionary, Radical, Chartist notion, but taken up on politico-economic grounds, the agitation would be certain to succeed; and if you apply free trade in land and to labour too—that is, by getting rid of those abominable restrictions in your parish settlements, and the like—then, I say, the men who do that will have done for England probably more than we have been able to do by making free trade in corn.
**[[Richard Cobden]], speech in Rochdale (23 November 1864), quoted in John Bright and J. E. Thorold Rogers (eds.), ''Speeches on Questions of Public Policy by Richard Cobden, M.P. Volume II'' (1908), p. 493

*Adam Smith, had treated [[w:Engrossing (law)|forestalling]] as an imaginary evil! Adam Smith, whom I knew well, was a man of investigation, knowledge, and sagacity; with a heart overflowing with benevolence and sociability; but he was strong tinctured with ''French Philosophy'' and ''systime!'' To mention two circumstances, in which I cannot be ''mistaken'', because spoken to myself, and although contradictory to the sentiments that I had expressed, not spoken in publick, where men often sport opinions for argument, but in the familiarity of individual conversation, where the unreserved sentiments are spoke. These were &quot;That the Christian Religion ''debased'' the ''human mind'';&quot; and that &quot;Sodomy was a thing in itself ''indifferent''.&quot; The considerate part of mankind will think that the opinions of such a man, or of any man, are not to be admitted as ''infallible dogmas''; but to be fairly weighed, before they are adopted.
**[[w:Alexander Dalrymple|Alexander Dalrymple]], ''Thoughts of an Old Man, of Independent Mind, Though Dependent Fortune, on the Present High Price of Corn'' (1800), p. 4

*I have found one just man in Gomorrah—Adam Smith, author of the ''Wealth of Nations''. He was the Duke of Buccleuch's tutor, is a wise and deep philosopher, and although made commissioner of the customs here by the Duke and Lord Advocate, is what I call an ''honest fellow''. He wrote a most kind as well as elegant letter to Burke on his resignation, as I believe I told you before; and on my mentioning it to him, he told me he was the only man here who spoke out for the [[w:Rockingham Whigs|Rockinghams]].
**[[w:Gilbert Elliot-Murray-Kynynmound, 1st Earl of Minto|Gilbert Elliot]], letter (25 July 1782), quoted in ''Life and Letters of Sir Gilbert Elliott, First Earl of Minto from 1751 to 1806, Vol. I'', ed. Countess of Minto (1874), p. 84

* The key insight of Adam Smith's ''Wealth of Nations'' is misleadingly simple: if an exchange between two parties is voluntary, it will not take place unless both believe they will benefit from it. Most economic fallacies derive from the neglect of this simple insight, from the tendency to assume that there is a fixed pie, that one party can gain only at the expense of another. 
** [[Milton Friedman]], ''Free to Choose: A Personal Statement'' (1981), p. 5.

* The greatest of Scotchmen was the first [[w:economist|economist]], [[w:Adam Smith|Adam Smith]].
** [[w:John Kenneth Galbraith|John Kenneth Galbraith]] (1977) ''[[w:The Age of Uncertainty|The Age of Uncertainty]]'', Chapter 1, p. 13

*What an excellent work is that with which our common friend, Mr Adam Smith, has enriched the public!—an extensive science in a single book, and the most profound ideas expressed in the most perspicuous language.
**[[Edward Gibbon]] to [[Adam Ferguson]] after the publication of the ''Wealth of Nations'' (1 April 1776), quoted in ''The Letters of Edward Gibbon, Volume Two: 1774–1784'', ed. J. E. Norton (1956), p. 101

*Now, sir, I stand here in the land where Adam Smith was born, the parent and patriarch of political economy—the man who first taught us that in our intercourse with other nations, as well as among ourselves, it was better to have our hands free than to have our hands and arms in manacles—who taught the great doctrines of Free Trade, and who has imbued the world with these doctrines. 
**[[William Ewart Gladstone]], speech in Dundee (29 October 1890), quoted in A. W. Hutton and H. J. Cohen (eds.), ''The Speeches of The Right Hon. W. E. Gladstone on Home Rule, Criminal Law, Welsh and Irish Nationality, National Debt and the Queen's Reign, 1888–1891'' (1902), p. 290

* An idea is always older than its name. The idea of cybernetics was used implicitly by the French physiologist, [[Claude Bernard]], in 1878. The scottish physicist, Clerk Maxwell, also used it in 1868 in developing the theory of the steam-engine governor. But long before both of them Adam Smith had just as clearly used the idea in his ''The Wealth of Nations'' (1776). The &quot;invisible hand&quot; that regulates prices to a nicety is clearly this idea. In a free market, says Smith in effect, prices are regulated by negative feedback.
** [[Garrett Hardin]], ''Nature and Man’s Fate'' (1961), p. 54.

*  Adam Smith was the first to perceive that we have stumbled upon methods of ordering human economic cooperation that exceed the limits of our knowledge and perception. His '[[invisible hand]]' had perhaps better have been described as an invisible or unsurveyable pattern. We are led - for example by the pricing system in market exchange - to do things by circumstances of which we are largely unaware and which produce results that we do not intend. In our economic activities we do not know the needs which we satisfy nor the sources of the things which we get.
** [[Friedrich Hayek]], ''The Fatal Conceit'' (1988), Ch. 1: Between Instinct and Reason.

* Though in Hume, and also in the works of Bernard Mandeville, we can watch the gradual emergence of the twin concepts of the formations of spontaneous orders and of selective evolution [...], it was Adam Smith and Adam Ferguson who first made systematic use of this approach. Smith's work marks the breakthrough of an evolutionary approach which has progressively displaced the stationary Aristotelian view. The nineteenth-century enthusiast who claimed that the ''Wealth of Nations'' was in importance second only to the Bible has often been ridiculed; but he may not have exaggerated so much. Even Aristotle's disciple Thomas Aquinas could not conceal from himself that ''multae utilitates impedirentur si omnia peccata districte prohiberentur'' - that much that is useful would be prevented if all sins were strictly prohibited (''Summa Theologica'', II, ii, q. 78 i).
** [[Friedrich Hayek]], ''The Fatal Conceit'' (1988), Appendix A: 'Natural' Versus 'Artificial'.

* It has been called “the outpouring not only of a great mind, but of a whole epoch.” Yet it is not, in the strict sense of the word, an “original” book. There is a long line of observers before Smith who have approached his understanding of the world: [[Locke]], Steuart, [[Mandeville]], Petty, [[Cantillon]], Turgot, not to mention [[Quesnay]] and [[Hume]] again. Smith took from all of them: there are over a hundred authors mentioned by name in his treatise. But where others had fished here and there, Smith spread his net wide; where others had clarified this and that issue, Smith illuminated the entire landscape. ''The Wealth of Nations'' is not a wholly original book, but it is unquestionably a masterpiece.
** [[Robert Heilbroner]], ''[[w:The Worldly Philosophers|The Worldly Philosophers]]'' 7th ed. (1999), Chapter III. The Wonderful World of Adam Smith

* ''The Wealth of Nations'' is in no sense a textbook. Adam smith is writing to his age, not to his classroom; he is expounding a doctrine that is meant to be of importance in running an empire, not an abstract treatise for academic distribution. The dragons that he slays (such as the Mercantilist philosophy, which takes over two hundred pages to die) were alive and panting, if a little tired, in his day. And finally, the book is a revolutionary one. To be sure, Smith would hardly have countenanced an upheaval that disordered the gentlemanly classes and enthroned the common poor. But the import of ''The Wealth of Nations'' is revolutionary, nonetheless.
** [[Robert Heilbroner]], ''[[w:The Worldly Philosophers|The Worldly Philosophers]]'' 7th ed. (1999), Chapter III. The Wonderful World of Adam Smith

* Adam Smith’s laws of the market are basically simple. They tell us that the outcome of a certain kind of behavior in a certain social framework will bring about perfectly definite and foreseeable results. Specifically they show us how the drive of individual self-interest in an environment of similarly motivated individuals will result in competition; and they further demonstrate how competition will result in the provision of those goods that society wants, in the quantities that society desires, and at the prices society is prepared to pay. […] But self-interest is only half the picture. It drives men to action. Something else must prevent the pushing of profit-hungry individuals from holding society up to exorbitant ransom: a community activated only by self-interest would be a community of ruthless profiteers. This regulator is competition, the conflict of the self-interested actors on the marketplace. For each man, out to do his best for himself with no thought of social consequences, is faced with a flock of similarly motivated individuals who are engaged in exactly the same pursuit. Hence, each is only too eager to take advantage of his neighbor’s greed. A man who permits his self-interest to run away with him will find that competitors have slipped in to take his trade away; if he charges too much for his wares or if he refuses to pay as much as everybody else for his workers, he will find himself without buyers in the one case and without employees in the other. Thus very much as in ''The Theory of Moral Sentiments'', the selfish motives of men are transmuted by interaction to yield the most unexpected of results: social harmony.
** [[Robert Heilbroner]], ''[[w:The Worldly Philosophers|The Worldly Philosophers]]'' 7th ed. (1999), Chapter III. The Wonderful World of Adam Smith

* All this may seem somewhat elementary. But consider what Adam Smith has done, with his impetus of self-interest and his regulator of competition. First, he has explained how prices are kept from ranging arbitrarily away from the actual cost of producing a good. Second, he has explained how society can induce its producers of commodities to provide it with what it wants. Third, he has pointed out why high prices are a self-curing disease, for they cause production in those lines to increase. And finally, he has accounted for a basic similarity of incomes at each level of the great producing strata of the nation. In a word, he has found in the mechanism of the market a self-regulating system for society’s orderly provisioning.
** [[Robert Heilbroner]], ''[[w:The Worldly Philosophers|The Worldly Philosophers]]'' 7th ed. (1999), Chapter III. The Wonderful World of Adam Smith

* Even today — in blithe disregard of his actual philosophy — Smith is generally regarded as a ''conservative'' economist, whereas in fact, he was more avowedly hostile to the'' motives'' of businessmen than most[[w: New Deal| New Deal]] economists.
** [[Robert Heilbroner]], ''[[w:The Worldly Philosophers|The Worldly Philosophers]]'' 7th ed. (1999), Chapter III. The Wonderful World of Adam Smith

* The answer is that Smith saw the all-important [[division of labor]] as a once-for-all, not a continuing, process. As has been recently pointed out, he did not see the organizational and technological core of the division of labor as a self-generating process of change, but as a discrete advance that would impart its stimulus and then disappear. Thus, in the very long run the growth momentum of society would come to a halt—Smith once mentions two hundred years as the longest period over which a society could hope to flourish. Thereafter the laborer would return to his subsistence wages, the capitalist to the modest profits of a stable market, and the landlord alone might enjoy a somewhat higher income as food production remained at the levels required by a larger, although no longer growing, population. For all its optimistic boldness, Smith’s vision is bounded, careful, sober—for the long run, even sobering.
** [[Robert Heilbroner]], ''[[w:The Worldly Philosophers|The Worldly Philosophers]]'' 7th ed. (1999), Chapter III. The Wonderful World of Adam Smith

* For Smith’s encyclopedic scope and knowledge there can be only admiration. It was only in the eighteenth century that so huge, all-embracing, secure, caustic, and profound a book could have been written. Indeed, ''The Wealth of Nations'' and ''The Theory of Moral Sentiments'', together with his few other essays, reveal that Smith was much more than just an economist. He was a philosopher-psychologist-historian-sociologist who conceived a vision that included human motives and historic “stages” and economic mechanisms, all of which expressed the plan of the Great Architect of Nature (as Smith called him). From this viewpoint, The Wealth of Nations is more than a masterwork of political economy. It is part of a huge conception of the human adventure itself.
** [[Robert Heilbroner]], ''[[w:The Worldly Philosophers|The Worldly Philosophers]]'' 7th ed. (1999), Chapter III. The Wonderful World of Adam Smith

* Perhaps no economist will ever again so utterly encompass his age as Adam Smith. Certainly none was ever so serene, so devoid of contumacy, so penetratingly critical without rancor, and so optimistic without being utopian.
** [[Robert Heilbroner]], ''[[w:The Worldly Philosophers|The Worldly Philosophers]]'' 7th ed. (1999), Chapter III. The Wonderful World of Adam Smith

* Upon the whole, I have always considered him, both in his lifetime and since his death, as approaching as nearly to the idea of a perfectly wise and virtuous man, as perhaps the nature of human frailty will permit.
** On [[David Hume]], in a letter To William[[w: Strachan| Strachan]], Esq., [[w:Kirkaldy|Kirkaldy]], [[w:Fifeshire|Fifeshire]] (9 November 1776).

* Smith argued in 1776 that the division of labor was the basis for the separation between mental and manual labor, and therefore between natural philosopher and laborer.
** Myles W. Jackson, ''Spectrum of Belief: Joseph Von Fraunhofer and the Craft of Precision Optics'' (2000)

*He now and then revisited London. The last time he was there, he had engaged to dine with [[w:Henry Dundas, 1st Viscount Melville|Lord Melville]], then Mr Dundas, at Wimbledon; [[William Pitt the Younger|Mr Pitt]], [[w:William Grenville, 1st Baron Grenville|Mr Grenville]], [[w:Henry Addington|Mr Addington]], afterwards Lord Sidmouth, and some other of his lordship's friends were there. Dr Smith happened to come late, and the company had sat down to dinner. The moment, however, he came into the room, the company all rose up; he made an apology for being late, and entreated them to sit down. &quot;No,&quot; said the gentlemen, &quot;we will stand till you are seated, ''for we are all your scholars''.&quot;
**[[w:John Kay (caricaturist)|John Kay]], ''A Series of Original Portraits and Caricature Etchings, Vol. I. Part I.'' (1838), pp. 74-75

*In Victorian times - at the apex of the repression of the [[Mother Nature|Great Mother]] - a Scottish schoolmaster named Adam Smith noticed a lot of [[greed]] and [[scarcity]] around him and assumed that was how all &quot;civilized&quot; societies worked. Smith, as you know, created modern economics, which can be defined as a way of allocating scarce resources through the mechanism of individual, personal [[greed]]...  If a society is afraid of [[scarcity]], it will actually create an environment in which it manifests well-grounded reasons to live in [[fear]] of scarcity. It is a [[W:self-fulfilling prophecy|self-fulfilling prophecy]]!
**[[Bernard Lietaer]], [https://library.uniteddiversity.coop/Money_and_Economics/Bernard_Lietaer/Interview_Yes%21.pdf Beyond Greed and Scarcity, ''YES! A Journal of Positive Futures''] , (Spring 1997)  

*Partisans of the free market invoke Adam Smith in order to lend the authority of his name to the case they themselves want to make: for the complete removal of the state from economic enterprise; for the economic sovereignty of the market; and for leaving all questions of production and distribution to the magic of the invisible hand... But...the reason Adam Smith wanted an end to government intervention in the market was that in his time (in contrast to today) it was only thanks to state intervention that what he called &quot;the mean rapacity, the monopolising spirit of merchants and manufacturers&quot; was able to dominate the economy, to the great detriment of the society as a whole.
**Heinz Lubasz, 'Adam Smith and the ‘free market’', in Stephen Copley and Kathryn Sutherland (eds.), ''Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations: New Interdisciplinary Essays'' (1995), p. 49

*What the ''Wealth of Nations'' is all about is the difference between one kind of market system in commercial society and another. It is about the difference between, on the one hand, a market system dominated by merchants and manufacturers who are able to bend the government to their will in order to obtain legislation which makes what is in their private interest the law of the land, and, on the other, a truly open and competitive—&quot;natural&quot;—market system in which everyone who is industrious and/or has any capital has a fair chance. The withdrawal of the state is not, for Smith, the removal of government from its role as owner, entrepreneur, economic planner or re-distributor—roles readily conceivable to all who know of socialism but wholly inconceivable to Adam Smith—but its removal from the role of regulator of private enterprise, a role in which it had long been used to promote the interests of the merchants and the manufacturers over those of all others.
**Heinz Lubasz, 'Adam Smith and the ‘free market’', in Stephen Copley and Kathryn Sutherland (eds.), ''Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations: New Interdisciplinary Essays'' (1995), p. 52

=== M-Z ===
*He said that the maintenance of [[w:Public works|public works]] was a duty of government; and his list of such works included all that at that time could have been possibly [[w:Social ownership|socialized]]—roads, canals, bridges, harbours, etc. Private enterprise could not be expected to erect or maintain these services, and this was a limited sort of socialism... [H]is concessions to Protectionism went very far. The doctrine of defence as prior to opulence was not stated only in respect of the [[w:Navigation Acts|Navigation Act]]: &quot;if any particular manufacture was necessary for the defence of the society it might not always be prudent to depend upon our neighbours for the supply; and, if such manufacture could not otherwise be supported at home, it might not be unreasonable that all the other branches of industry should be taxed in order to support it&quot;. This goes a long way with modern Protectionism.
**[[w:D. H. MacGregor|D. H. MacGregor]], ''Economic Thought and Policy'' (1949), p. 81

*The one case in which he referred to the &quot;invisible hand&quot; was that in which private persons preferred the home trade to the foreign trade, and he held that such preference was in the national interest, since it replaced two domestic capitals while the foreign trade replaced only one. The argument of the two capitals was a bad one, since it is the amount of capital that matters, not its subdivision; but the invisible sanction was given to a Protectionist idea, not for defence but for employment. It is not surprising that Smith was often quoted in Parliament in support of Protection. His background, like ours today, was private enterprise; but any dogma of non-intervention by government has to make heavy weather in ''The Wealth of Nations''.
**[[w:D. H. MacGregor|D. H. MacGregor]], ''Economic Thought and Policy'' (1949), pp. 81-82

* While discussing what it is that makes the “pleasures of wealth and greatness ... strike the imagination as something grand and beautiful,” [Adam Smith] remarks that “in the languor of disease and the weariness of old age” we cease to be so impressed, for we then take note of the fact that the acquisition of wealth and greatness leaves their possessors “always as much, and sometimes more exposed than before, to anxiety, to fear, and to sorrow, to diseases, to danger, and to death” (''The Theory of Moral Sentiments'' IV, chapter I). But to allow our attention to dwell on this is, on Smith’s view, misguided.&lt;br&gt;To do so is to embrace a “splenetic philosophy,” the effect of “sickness or low spirits” upon an imagination “which in pain and sorrow seems to be confined,” so that we are no longer “charmed with the beauty of that accommodation which reigns in the palaces and economy of the great.” The imagination of those “in better health or in better humor” fosters what may, Smith concedes, be no more than seductive illusions about the pleasures of wealth and greatness, but they are economically beneficial illusions. “It is this deception which rouses and keeps in continual motion the industry of mankind.” So even someone as perceptive as Smith, when he does pause to recognize the perspectives of ill health and old age, finds reason at once to put them on one side. And in so doing Smith speaks for moral philosophy in general.
**[[Alasdair MacIntyre]], ''Dependent Rational Animals'' (1999), p. 2

* What strikes one here above all is the crudely empirical conception of profit derived from the outlook of the ordinary capitalist, which wholly contradicts the better esoteric understanding of [[w:Adam Smith|Adam Smith]].
** [[w:Karl Marx|Karl Marx]] (1867) ''[[w: Das Kapital| Das Kapital]]'', Volume II, Chapter X, p. 202.

* '''Economic theory as derived from Adam Smith assumes first that ''homo economicus'' acts with perfect optimality on complete information, and second that when many of the species ''homo economicus'' do that, their actions add up to the best possible outcome for everybody. Neither of these assumptions stands up long against the evidence.'''
** [[Donella Meadows]], ''[[Donella Meadows#Thinking in Systems: A Primer (2008)|Thinking in Systems: A Primer]]'', Chelsea Green Publishing, 2008, page 107 (ISBN 9781603580557).

* It appears... that a work similar in its object and general conception to that of Adam Smith, but adapted to the more extended knowledge and improved ideas of the present age, is the kind of contribution which Political Economy at present requires. The ''Wealth of Nations'' is in many parts obsolete, and in all, imperfect. Political Economy... has grown up almost from infancy since the time of Adam Smith; and the philosophy of society... has advanced many steps beyond the point at which he left it.
** [[John Stuart Mill]], ''{{w|Principles of Political Economy}}'' (1848) Preface

*[T]hat constant accumulation of capital, that continual tendency to increase, the operation of which is universally seen in a greater or less proportion, whenever it is not obstructed by some...mistaken and mischievous policy. ... Simple and obvious as this principle is... I doubt whether it has ever been fully developed and sufficiently explained, but in the writings of an author of our own time, now unfortunately no more (I mean the author of the celebrated treatise on the Wealth of Nations), whose extensive knowledge of detail, and depth of philosophical research, will, I believe, furnish the best solution of every question connected with the history of commerce, or with the system of political economy.
**[[William Pitt the Younger|William Pitt]], speech in the House of Commons (17 February 1792), quoted in ''The Parliamentary History of England, From the Earliest Period to the Year 1803, Vol. XXIX'' (1817), columns 833-834

* Adam Smith was the first academic economist; and his career is not very different from that of many economists in the last hundred and fifty years.
** [[w:Eric Roll|Eric Roll]] (1938) ''A History Of Economic Thought'', Chapter IV, p. 144.

* '''To have never done any thing but make the eighteenth part of a pin, is a sorry account for a human being to give of his existence.'''
** [[w:Jean-Baptiste Say|Jean-Baptiste Say]] (1803) ''A Treatise On Political Economy''. (Fourth Edition, 1855), Book I, Chapter VIII, p. 98.

* The global reach of Smith's moral and political reasoning is quite a distinctive feature of his thought, but it is strongly supplemented by his belief that all human beings are born with similar potential and, most importantly for policymaking, that the inequalities in the world reflect socially generated, rather than natural, disparities.&lt;br&gt;There is a vision here that has a remarkably current ring. The continuing global relevance of Smith's ideas is quite astonishing, and it is a tribute to the power of his mind that this global vision is so forcefully presented by someone who, a quarter of a millennium ago, lived most of his life in considerable seclusion in a tiny coastal Scottish town. Smith's analyses and explorations are of critical importance for any society in the world in which issues of morals, politics and economics receive attention. ''The Theory of Moral Sentiments'' is a global manifesto of profound significance to the interdependent world in which we live.
** [[Amartya Sen]], &quot;[http://www.newstatesman.com/ideas/2010/04/smith-market-essay-sentiments The economist manifesto]&quot;, ''New Statesman'' (23 April 2010)

* Smith distinguishes with great sophistication the different kinds of reasons people have in taking an interest in the lives of others, separating out sympathy, generosity, public spirit and other motivations. Even though he acknowledged the role of mental attitudes and predispositions, he went on to discuss how reasoning, which is at the heart of rationality, must have a big role in preventing us from being – consciously or unconsciously – too self-centred, or thoughtlessly uncaring.
** [[Amartya Sen]], “Values and Justice”, ''Journal of Economic Methodology'', Vol. 19, No. 2, June 2012, 101–108.

* Smith had no illusion that this would be easy to do, nor did he suffer from the delusion that such an exercise would, in any sense, be perfect. But he did have the conviction that the exercise could still be very useful, and the best should not be made into an enemy of the good.
** [[Amartya Sen]], “Values and Justice”, ''Journal of Economic Methodology'', Vol. 19, No. 2, June 2012, 101–108.

*I owe to a journey I made with Mr Smith from Edinburgh to London, the difference between light and darkness through the best part of my life. The novelty of his principles, added to my youth and prejudices, made me unable to comprehend them at the time, but he urged them with so much benevolence, as well as eloquence, that they took a certain hold, which, though it did not develop itself so as to arrive at full conviction for some few years after, I can fairly say, has constituted, ever since, the happiness of my life, as well as any little consideration I may have enjoyed in it.
**[[w:William Petty, 2nd Earl of Shelburne|Lord Shelburne]] to Dugald Stewart (1795), quoted in Ian S. Ross (ed.), ''On The Wealth of Nations: Contemporary Responses to Adam Smith'' (1998), p. 147

* Everything that psychology has learned about the processes of human choice is consistent with the view expressed by Adam Smith. People do have reasons for what they do, but these reasons depend very much on how people frame or represent the situations in which they find themselves, and upon the information they have or obtain about the variables that they take into account. Their rationality is a procedural rationality; there is no claim that they grasp the encironment accurately or comprehensively. To predict their behavior in specific instances, we must ourselves know what they are attending to, and what information they have.
** [[Herbert Simon]], ''An Empirically-Based Microeconomics'' (1997), pp. 8-9

*[T]he great and leading object of Mr. Smith's speculations is to illustrate the provision made by nature in the principles of the human mind, and in the circumstances of man's external situation, for a gradual and progressive augmentation in the means of national wealth; and to demonstrate, that the most effectual plan for advancing a people to greatness, is to maintain that order of things which nature has pointed out; by allowing every man, as long as he observes the rules of justice, to pursue his own interest in his own way, and to bring both his industry and his capital into the freest competition with those of his fellow-citizens. Every system of policy which endeavours, either by extraordinary encouragements, to draw towards a particular species of industry a greater share of the capital of the society than what would naturally go to it; or, by extraordinary restraints, to force from a particular species of industry some share of the capital which would otherwise be employed in it, is in reality, subversive of the great purpose which it means to promote.
**[[w:Dugald Stewart|Dugald Stewart]], ''Account of the Life and Writings of Adam Smith, LL.D.'', quoted in ''The Works of Dugald Stewart, Vol. VII'' (1829), pp. 56-57

*What the circumstances are, which, in modern Europe, have contributed to disturb this order of nature, and, in particular, to encourage the industry of towns, at the expense of that of the country, Mr. Smith has investigated with great ingenuity; and in such a manner, as to throw much new light on the history of that state of society which prevails in this quarter of the globe. His observations on this subject tend to show, that these circumstances were, in their first origin, the natural and the unavoidable result of the peculiar situation of mankind during a certain period; and that they took their rise, not from any general scheme of policy, but from the private interests and prejudices of particular orders of men.
**[[w:Dugald Stewart|Dugald Stewart]], ''Account of the Life and Writings of Adam Smith, LL.D.'', quoted in ''The Works of Dugald Stewart, Vol. VII'' (1829), p. 57

* One dominant view in the eighteenth century, which was particularly persuasive among French economists, was that the government should actively promote trade and industry. Advocates of this view were called [[mercantilist]]s. It was partly in response to the mercantilists that Adam Smith (who is often viewed as the founder of modern economics) wrote ''The Wealth of Nations'' (1776), in which he argued for a limited role for government. Smith attempted to show how competition and the profit motive would lead individuals—in pursuing their own private interests—to serve the public interest. The profit motive would lead individuals, competing against one another, to supply the goods other individuals wanted. Only firms that produced what was wanted and at as low a price as possible would survive. Smith argued that the economy was led, as if by an invisible hand, to produce what was desired—and in the best possible way. Adam Smith’s ideas had a powerful influence both on governments and on economists.
** [[Joseph E. Stiglitz]] and Jay K. Rosengard, ''Economics of the Public Sector'' (4th ed., 2014)

* Today, classical political economy is often identified by contemporary economists with the quantity theory of money and the so-called “doctrine of free trade,” but historically there was in fact a large and variable set of positions on both within the classical orbit. And, in contrast to Marx's characterization of its scope and origins, the beginnings of a systematic classical political economy have been associated first and foremost with the work of the eighteenth-century Scottish philosopher, Adam Smith. In terms of illuminating our understanding of the significance of classical political economy for the history of political thought, its origins are identified with the time period roughly between 1750 and 1867, and with a group of economic thinkers drawing upon and revising Smith's ''Wealth of Nations'' as a basis for analyzing the production, distribution, and exchange of commodities in the market of commercial society, and later within industrial capitalism.
** [[Shannon C. Stimson]], &quot;Classical Political Economy&quot;, in Coole, Diana H.; Gibbons, Michael; Ellis, Elisabeth et al., ''The encyclopedia of political thought'' (2014)

* Thus, the original core components of classical political economy enumerated in Smith's ''Wealth of Nations'', and transformed in the economic theorizing of later classicals – that is, until [[John Maynard Keynes]] chose in ''The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money'' (1936) to alter retrospectively the referent of this denotation to include any “orthodox” (non-Marxist) economist who was a quantity theorist – comprised a set of conceptual tools for analyzing and understanding the operation of market and later capitalist production and exchange.
** [[Shannon C. Stimson]], &quot;Classical Political Economy&quot;, in Coole, Diana H.; Gibbons, Michael; Ellis, Elisabeth et al., ''The encyclopedia of political thought'' (2014)

* In generating the first ever systematic account of the market mechanism in commercial society, Smith's political economy drew not only on his critical reflections of the unsytematic nature of earlier economic writing, but equally on his didactic revisions of earlier natural law and natural jurisprudence traditions as well as the empirically suggestive but unsystematic historical inductive method of tracing the progress of civil society previously introduced by thinkers such as the great Montesquieu. These revisions can be linked directly to Smith's political thinking. It may be questioned whether Adam Smith can be said to have developed a political theory. Certainly, it has been and yet remains a subject of debate. Unquestionably, however, Smith isolated important political concerns and made political conceptual contributions which he linked systematically to his theory of commercial society and the conduct of the market.
** [[Shannon C. Stimson]], &quot;Classical Political Economy&quot;, in Coole, Diana H.; Gibbons, Michael; Ellis, Elisabeth et al., ''The encyclopedia of political thought'' (2014)

* In short, the mercantilists were preoccupied with the transfer of wealth, whether by export surpluses, imperialism, or slavery— all of which benefit some at the expense of others. Adam Smith was concerned with the creation of wealth, which is not a zero-sum process. Smith rejected government intervention in the economy to help merchants— the source of the name “mercantilism”— and instead advocated free markets along the lines of the French economists, the Physiocrats, who had coined the term laissez faire. ... The most fundamental difference between Adam Smith and the mercantilists was that Smith did not regard gold as being wealth. The very title of his book— ''The Wealth of Nations''— raised the fundamental question of what wealth consisted of. Smith argued that wealth consisted of the goods and services which determined the standard of living of the people— the whole people, who to Smith constituted the nation. Smith rejected both imperialism and slavery— on economic grounds as well as moral grounds, ... Although Adam Smith is today often regarded as a “conservative” figure, he in fact attacked some of the dominant ideas and interests of his own times. Moreover, the idea of a spontaneously self-equilibrating system— the market economy— first developed by the Physiocrats and later made part of the tradition of classical economics by Adam Smith, represented a radically new departure, not only in analysis of social causation but also in seeing a reduced role for political, intellectual, or other elites as guides or controllers of the masses.
** [[Thomas Sowell]], ''Basic Economics'', 4th ed. (2010), Ch. 25. The History of Economics.

*Few intellectual victories have been more overwhelming than that which the proponents of the new political economy won in the matter of the regulation of the internal corn trade... The &quot;unlimited, unrestrained freedom of the corn trade&quot; was...the demand of Adam Smith. The new economy entailed a de-moralizing of the theory of trade and consumption no less far-reaching than the more widely-debated dissolution of restrictions upon usury... [T]he new political economy was disinfested of intrusive moral imperatives... The prejudices against [[w:Engrossing (law)|forestallers]] Smith dismissed curtly as superstitions on a level with witchcraft... In some respects Smith's model conformed more closely to eighteenth-century realities than did the paternalist; and in symmetry and scope of intellectual construction it was superior. But one should not overlook the specious air of empirical validation which the model carries. Whereas the first appeals to a moral norm—what ''ought'' to be men's reciprocal duties—the second appears to say: &quot;this is the way things work, or would work if the State did not interfere&quot;. And yet if one considers these sections of ''The Wealth of Nations'' they impress less as an essay in empirical enquiry than as a superb, self-validating essay in logic.
**[[E. P. Thompson]], 'The Moral Economy of the English Crowd in the Eighteenth Century', ''Past &amp; Present'', No. 50 (February 1971), pp. 89-91

*He was a great thinker,—and that was much; but he also made men recognize him as a great thinker, because he was a great master of style,—which was more.
**[[Woodrow Wilson]], 'An Old Master', ''The New Princeton Review, Vol. VI. 1888. July—September—November'' (1888), pp. 217-218

*Here is the picture of this Old Master: a quiet, awkward, forceful Scotchman, whose philosophy has entered everywhere into the life of politics and become a world-force in thought; an impracticable Commissioner of Customs, who has left for the instruction of statesmen the best theory of taxation; an unbusiness-like professor, who established the science of business; a man of books, who is universally honored by men of action; plain, eccentric, learned, inspired. The things that strike us most about him are, his boldness of conception and wideness of outlook, his breadth and comprehensiveness of treatment, and his carefully clarified and beautified style.
**[[Woodrow Wilson]], 'An Old Master', ''The New Princeton Review, Vol. VI. 1888. July—September—November'' (1888), p. 219

* [[w:Adam Smith|Smith]] &quot;wrote that '''the ultimate goal of business is not to make a profit. Profit is just the means. The goal is general welfare.'''&quot;
** [[w:Walter Wink|Walter Wink]] (1992) ''Engaging the powers: Discernment and resistance in a world of domination.'', Vol. 3. HSRC Press, p. 68.

==Sources==
* Smith. ''An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations.'' Ed. R. H. Campbell and A. S. Skinner. 2 vols. Glasgow Edition of the Works and Correspondence of Adam Smith 2. Oxford U. Press, 1976.

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
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* [[Economic liberalism]]
*[http://www.econlib.org/library/Smith/smWN.html ''An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations''] at the [[w:Library of Economics and Liberty|Library of Economics and Liberty]]

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{{Classical economists}}
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'''[[w:Joe Haldeman|Joe William Haldeman]]''' (born 9 June 1943) is an American [[w:science fiction|science fiction]] author.

== Quotes ==

=== ''[[w:The Forever War|The Forever War]]'' (1974) ===
:&lt;small&gt; All page numbers from the author’s definitive version, published in trade paperback by Thomas Dunne Books &lt;/small&gt;

* She hadn’t been such a bad girl before the power went to her head.
** Chapter 7 (p. 28)

* Relativity propped it up, at least gave it the illusion of being there...the way all reality becomes illusory and observer-oriented when you study general relativity. Or Buddhism. Or get drafted.
** Chapter 10 (p. 46)

* I had to stifle an impulse to laugh. Surely “cowardice“ had nothing to do with his decision. Surely he had nothing so primitive and unmilitary as a will to live.
** Chapter 20 (p. 107)

* It was making me a little queasy. Doctors don’t seem to realize that most of us are perfectly content not having to visualize ourselves as animated bags of skin filled with obscene glop.
** Chapter 20 (p. 108)

* ''I never found anyone else and I don’t want anyone else. I don’t care whether you’re ninety years old or thirty. If I can’t be your lover, I’ll be your nurse.''
** Chapter 35 (p. 264)

=== ''Mindbridge'' (1976) ===
:&lt;small&gt; All page numbers from the mass market paperback edition published by Avon &lt;/small&gt;

* Men started to geoform the earth in the middle of the twentieth century. Unfortunately, a lot of the early work was done by people who failed to see the earth as a closed set of mutually interrelated systems.
** Chapter 8 “Geoformy 1” (p. 33)

* CAROL: You don’t care for the music?&lt;br&gt;JACQUE: Music! It’s just a gimmick to sell lutes and flutes.
** Chapter 18 “Chapter 6: Prelude” (p. 64)

* “We’re inferring from an absence of data,” Jacque said. “That’s lousy science.”
** Chapter 28 “Chapter Eight” (p. 104)

=== ''For White Hill'' (1995) ===
:&lt;small&gt; All page numbers from the reprint of the story in the mass market paperback &quot;Year's Best SF&quot; edited by David G. Hartwell and published by Harper &lt;/small&gt;
* Big money seeks out the company of its own, for purposes of reproduction.
** p. 225

* I have always valued quiet, and the eternity of it that I face is no more dreadful than the eternity of quiet that preceded my birth.
** p. 257

=== ''[[w:Forever Peace|Forever Peace]]'' (1997) ===
:&lt;small&gt; All page numbers from the mass market paperback edition published by Ace &lt;/small&gt;

* In a physical way we’re closer than any civilian pair could be, since in full combat jack we are this one creature with twenty arms and legs, with ten brains, with five vaginas and five penises.&lt;br&gt;Some people call the feeling godlike, and I think there have been gods who were constructed along similar lines. The one I grew up with was an old white-bearded Caucasian gent without even one vagina.
** p. 8

* Maybe after the war we’ll be civilized again. That’s the way it has always happened in the past.
** p. 14

* One thing most of us agree on is that the universe exists (people who deny that usually follow some trade other than science), so if some theoretical particle interaction would lead ultimately to the nonexistence of the universe, then you can save a lot of electricity by not trying to demonstrate it.
** p. 25

* We did it with their government’s foreknowledge and permission, of course—and there were no civilian casualties, equally of course. Once they’re dead they’re rebels.
** p. 27

* It was an ideological war for some—the defenders of democracy versus the rebel strong-arm charismatic leaders. Or the capitalist land-grabbers versus the protectors of the people, take your pick.
** p. 36

* Like a lot of things that everybody knows, it wasn’t true.
** pp. 44-45

* She smiled. “I wouldn’t mind. Is that a difference between men and women or between you and me?”&lt;br&gt;“I think it’s a difference between you and merely sane people.”
** p. 54

* Nobody else in that platoon can tell a [[w:Hamiltonian (quantum mechanics)|Hamiltonian]] from a hamburger.
** p. 146

* “You were a Jesuit?”&lt;br&gt;“Franciscan. We run a close second in being pains in the ass.”
** p. 198

* Maybe war is an inevitable product of human nature. Maybe to get rid of war, we have to become something other than human.
** p. 205

* Human nature does change, and the fact that we’ve developed tools to direct that change ''is'' quintessentially human. And it must be a nearly universal concomitant to technological growth everywhere in the universe; otherwise there would ''be'' no universe. Unless we’re the only technological intelligence in the universe, Julian pointed out; so far there’s no evidence to the contrary. Maybe our own existence is evidence that we’re the first creatures to evolve far enough to hit the reset button. Somebody does have to be first.&lt;br&gt;But maybe the first is always the last.
** p. 205

* “You’re actually a soldier,” he said to me, “and you go along with this foolishness?”&lt;br&gt;“I didn’t ask to be a soldier. And I can’t imagine a peace as foolish as this war we’re in.”
** p. 227

* “Some are born crazy,” Amelia said. “Some achieve craziness. We had craziness thrust upon us.”
** p. 249

=== ''[[w:Forever Free (novel)|Forever Free]]'' (1999) ===
:&lt;small&gt; All page numbers from the mass market paperback edition published by Ace, {{ISBN|0-441-00787-2}} (November 2000), first printing &lt;/small&gt;

=== ''[[w:Camouflage_(book)|Camouflage]]'' (2004) ===
:&lt;small&gt; All page numbers from the mass market paperback edition published by Ace &lt;/small&gt;

* It was so much more complicated than it had to be, but the changeling had noted that this was true of every human biological function that wasn’t involuntary.
** Chapter 24 (p. 133)

=== ''[[w:The Accidental Time Machine|The Accidental Time Machine]]'' (2007) ===
:&lt;small&gt; All page numbers from the mass market paperback edition published by Ace &lt;/small&gt;

* Rationalism doesn’t require “belief,” only observation. The real, measurable world doesn’t care what you believe.
** Chapter 12 (pp. 110-111)

* If you asked him, he would say the only connection between free will and religion in his life was the fact that he hadn’t set foot in a synagogue since he turned eighteen.
** Chapter 14 (p. 152)

* “Everybody rich and happy.” She smiled. “Also complacent and rather stupid, you may have noticed.”
** Chapter 15 (p. 181)

== External links==
*{{Wikipedia-inline}}
*{{Commonscat-inline}}


{{DEFAULTSORT:Haldeman, Joe}}
[[Category:Science fiction authors‎]]
[[Category:1943 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Novelists from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Oklahoma]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158718</id>
      <parentid>3158717</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T00:34:48Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Markjoseph125</username>
        <id>19526</id>
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      <comment>/* Forever Free (1999) */ added quotes; italics as in the book</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="8370" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Joe Haldeman Finncon2007.jpg|thumb|Joe Haldeman (right)]]
'''[[w:Joe Haldeman|Joe William Haldeman]]''' (born 9 June 1943) is an American [[w:science fiction|science fiction]] author.

== Quotes ==

=== ''[[w:The Forever War|The Forever War]]'' (1974) ===
:&lt;small&gt; All page numbers from the author’s definitive version, published in trade paperback by Thomas Dunne Books &lt;/small&gt;

* She hadn’t been such a bad girl before the power went to her head.
** Chapter 7 (p. 28)

* Relativity propped it up, at least gave it the illusion of being there...the way all reality becomes illusory and observer-oriented when you study general relativity. Or Buddhism. Or get drafted.
** Chapter 10 (p. 46)

* I had to stifle an impulse to laugh. Surely “cowardice“ had nothing to do with his decision. Surely he had nothing so primitive and unmilitary as a will to live.
** Chapter 20 (p. 107)

* It was making me a little queasy. Doctors don’t seem to realize that most of us are perfectly content not having to visualize ourselves as animated bags of skin filled with obscene glop.
** Chapter 20 (p. 108)

* ''I never found anyone else and I don’t want anyone else. I don’t care whether you’re ninety years old or thirty. If I can’t be your lover, I’ll be your nurse.''
** Chapter 35 (p. 264)

=== ''Mindbridge'' (1976) ===
:&lt;small&gt; All page numbers from the mass market paperback edition published by Avon &lt;/small&gt;

* Men started to geoform the earth in the middle of the twentieth century. Unfortunately, a lot of the early work was done by people who failed to see the earth as a closed set of mutually interrelated systems.
** Chapter 8 “Geoformy 1” (p. 33)

* CAROL: You don’t care for the music?&lt;br&gt;JACQUE: Music! It’s just a gimmick to sell lutes and flutes.
** Chapter 18 “Chapter 6: Prelude” (p. 64)

* “We’re inferring from an absence of data,” Jacque said. “That’s lousy science.”
** Chapter 28 “Chapter Eight” (p. 104)

=== ''For White Hill'' (1995) ===
:&lt;small&gt; All page numbers from the reprint of the story in the mass market paperback &quot;Year's Best SF&quot; edited by David G. Hartwell and published by Harper &lt;/small&gt;
* Big money seeks out the company of its own, for purposes of reproduction.
** p. 225

* I have always valued quiet, and the eternity of it that I face is no more dreadful than the eternity of quiet that preceded my birth.
** p. 257

=== ''[[w:Forever Peace|Forever Peace]]'' (1997) ===
:&lt;small&gt; All page numbers from the mass market paperback edition published by Ace &lt;/small&gt;

* In a physical way we’re closer than any civilian pair could be, since in full combat jack we are this one creature with twenty arms and legs, with ten brains, with five vaginas and five penises.&lt;br&gt;Some people call the feeling godlike, and I think there have been gods who were constructed along similar lines. The one I grew up with was an old white-bearded Caucasian gent without even one vagina.
** p. 8

* Maybe after the war we’ll be civilized again. That’s the way it has always happened in the past.
** p. 14

* One thing most of us agree on is that the universe exists (people who deny that usually follow some trade other than science), so if some theoretical particle interaction would lead ultimately to the nonexistence of the universe, then you can save a lot of electricity by not trying to demonstrate it.
** p. 25

* We did it with their government’s foreknowledge and permission, of course—and there were no civilian casualties, equally of course. Once they’re dead they’re rebels.
** p. 27

* It was an ideological war for some—the defenders of democracy versus the rebel strong-arm charismatic leaders. Or the capitalist land-grabbers versus the protectors of the people, take your pick.
** p. 36

* Like a lot of things that everybody knows, it wasn’t true.
** pp. 44-45

* She smiled. “I wouldn’t mind. Is that a difference between men and women or between you and me?”&lt;br&gt;“I think it’s a difference between you and merely sane people.”
** p. 54

* Nobody else in that platoon can tell a [[w:Hamiltonian (quantum mechanics)|Hamiltonian]] from a hamburger.
** p. 146

* “You were a Jesuit?”&lt;br&gt;“Franciscan. We run a close second in being pains in the ass.”
** p. 198

* Maybe war is an inevitable product of human nature. Maybe to get rid of war, we have to become something other than human.
** p. 205

* Human nature does change, and the fact that we’ve developed tools to direct that change ''is'' quintessentially human. And it must be a nearly universal concomitant to technological growth everywhere in the universe; otherwise there would ''be'' no universe. Unless we’re the only technological intelligence in the universe, Julian pointed out; so far there’s no evidence to the contrary. Maybe our own existence is evidence that we’re the first creatures to evolve far enough to hit the reset button. Somebody does have to be first.&lt;br&gt;But maybe the first is always the last.
** p. 205

* “You’re actually a soldier,” he said to me, “and you go along with this foolishness?”&lt;br&gt;“I didn’t ask to be a soldier. And I can’t imagine a peace as foolish as this war we’re in.”
** p. 227

* “Some are born crazy,” Amelia said. “Some achieve craziness. We had craziness thrust upon us.”
** p. 249

=== ''[[w:Forever Free (novel)|Forever Free]]'' (1999) ===
:&lt;small&gt; All page numbers from the mass market paperback edition published by Ace, {{ISBN|0-441-00787-2}} (November 2000), first printing &lt;/small&gt;

* The generator was worth its weight in bureaucrats.
** Chapter 2 (p. 14)

* “We’re ''in'' jail, Charlie.” I made a gesture that didn’t knock anything over. “We can’t see the bars because they’re over the horizon.”
** Chapter 3 (p. 34)

* The more leaves, the more Tree.
** Chapter 4 (p. 38)
 
* Fathers and daughters don’t communicate that well even when alien languages and secret conspiracies aren’t involved.
** Chapter 11 (p. 91)

* Fish and chickens were the only animals we’d had aboard in zerogee. Fish can’t tell the difference and chickens are too dumb to care.
** Chapter 15 (p. 141)

* I could have argued with his logic, but over the years have learned to find more pleasant ways to waste my time.
** Chapter 20 (p. 182)

* Most of human history had been industry ''versus'' nature, with industry winning.
** Chapter 28 (p. 226)

* “But all I have is hearsay, passed on by others of my kind.”&lt;br&gt;“Including this ‘nameless’ stuff,” I said.&lt;br&gt;“That’s true. And at various times in my life, I’ve wondered whether it might not be a delusion—some sort of fiction that we share. Like a religion: there’s no way you or I could prove that the nameless ''don’t'' exist.”
** Chapter 30 (p. 254)

* My own religion, if you can call it that, had changed in its fundamental premise, but not its basic assertion: I’d always told religious friends that there may or may not be a God, but if there is one, I wouldn’t want to have him over for dinner. I’ll stand by that last part.
** Chapter 32 (p. 269)

=== ''[[w:Camouflage_(book)|Camouflage]]'' (2004) ===
:&lt;small&gt; All page numbers from the mass market paperback edition published by Ace &lt;/small&gt;

* It was so much more complicated than it had to be, but the changeling had noted that this was true of every human biological function that wasn’t involuntary.
** Chapter 24 (p. 133)

=== ''[[w:The Accidental Time Machine|The Accidental Time Machine]]'' (2007) ===
:&lt;small&gt; All page numbers from the mass market paperback edition published by Ace &lt;/small&gt;

* Rationalism doesn’t require “belief,” only observation. The real, measurable world doesn’t care what you believe.
** Chapter 12 (pp. 110-111)

* If you asked him, he would say the only connection between free will and religion in his life was the fact that he hadn’t set foot in a synagogue since he turned eighteen.
** Chapter 14 (p. 152)

* “Everybody rich and happy.” She smiled. “Also complacent and rather stupid, you may have noticed.”
** Chapter 15 (p. 181)

== External links==
*{{Wikipedia-inline}}
*{{Commonscat-inline}}


{{DEFAULTSORT:Haldeman, Joe}}
[[Category:Science fiction authors‎]]
[[Category:1943 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Novelists from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Oklahoma]]</text>
      <sha1>5qcrmoo3uo8vrscp6g59r1kipn6hwx4</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Roger Waters</title>
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      <id>3158699</id>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-27T22:41:37Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>DutchOff</username>
        <id>3130059</id>
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      <minor />
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      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="25143" xml:space="preserve">{{people-cleanup|2007-01-08}}
[[File:Roger Waters Morumbi.jpg|thumb|right|In the finished article, the only thing that is important is whether it moves you or not. There is nothing else that is important at all.]]
[[File:Roger Waters ott.jpg|thumb|right|All you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be.]]
[[Image:RogerWaters.jpg|thumb|right|You are young and life is long, and there is time to kill today. And then one day you find, ten years have gone behind you
No one told you when to run, You missed the starting gun.]]
[[Image:Roger Waters concert 05.jpg|thumb|right|I think that happiness resides somewhere between the extremes of personal, religious, and political. I think happiness resides where we understand someone else's point of view and needs. Happiness resides where we are not lost in the solitary dream.]]
[[File:RWHollywoodBowl1-cover.JPG|thumb|right| Will the technologies of communication and culture — and especially popular music, which is a vast and beloved enterprise — help us to understand one another better, or will they deceive us and keep us apart?]]
'''[[w:Roger Waters|George Roger Waters]]''' (born [[6 September]] [[1943]]) is a British musician who was for a long period the bass player, primary songwriter and one of the primary vocalists (along with [[David Gilmour]]) for the rock band [[Pink Floyd]].

==Quotes==
===Philosophy===
* Asked what his artistic purpose was: &quot;There is no purpose. We do whatever we do. You either blow your brains out or get on with something.&quot; 
**June 1987{{source}}

*&quot;I’m not a huge practicing Christian myself, but it just staggers me that people who claim to be can stand up and spout – like your president George Bush – can stand up and spout this bullshit about God supporting one side over another in war, which is why I wrote the lyrics of the song &quot;What God Wants&quot;: “God wants crusade/God wants Jihad.” Well it may well be that God doesn’t want either of those things. They’re manifestations of the insecurities of the Muslim and Christian communities. I hate when someone uses religion to bolster war in the world: it's extremely disgusting and offensive for me, and for all christians, because that was not what Christ was trying to teach.&quot;
**&quot;Roger Waters talks about What God Wants&quot;, a 1993 interview&lt;ref&gt;Roger Waters talks about What God Wants - 1993 - (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgsTVIsuXVg)&lt;/ref&gt;

* &quot;What it comes down to for me is: Will the technologies of communication and culture — and especially popular music, which is a vast and beloved enterprise — help us to understand one another better, or will they deceive us and keep us apart?&quot;
**''Penthouse Magazine'', September, 1988

* &quot;The very early days of Pink Floyd were magical. We played small auditoriums for entranced audiences, and there was a wonderful sense of communion. We got overpowered by the weight of success and numbers — not just the money but the size of the audience. I became very disenchanted. I had to make the choice of staying on the treadmill or making the braver decision to travel a more difficult path alone.&quot;
**''USA Today'', 1999{{fix cite}} 

* &quot;I think that happiness resides somewhere between the extremes of personal, religious, and political. I think happiness resides where we understand someone else's point of view and needs. Happiness resides where we are not lost in the solitary dream.&quot;
**November 2005{{source}}

===Music===
* &quot;For us the most important thing is to be visual, and for the cats watching us to have fun. This is all we want. We get very upset if people get bored when we're only half way through smashing the second set. Then all of a sudden they hear Arnold Layne and they flip all over again.&quot;
**''Rave UK Magazine'', June 1967
* &quot;We've got the recording side together and not the playing side.&quot; 
** Melody Maker, August 1967
*&quot;It's like saying 'Give a man a Les Paul guitar and he becomes Eric Clapton,' you know. It's not true. And give a man an amplifier and a synthesizer, and he doesn't become whoever, you know. He doesn't become us.&quot;
**Pink Floyd: Live at Pompeii, 1972
*&quot;In the finished article, the only thing that is important is whether it moves you or not. There is nothing else that is important at all.&quot;
**Pink Floyd: Live at Pompeii, 1972
* &quot;Oh, for fuck sake stop lighting off fireworks and shouting &amp; screaming I'm trying to sing a song! I mean I don't care. If you don't want to hear it. You know fuck you. I'm sure there are a lot of people here who do want to hear it. So why don't you just be quiet. If you want to light your fireworks off go outside and light them off out there and if you want to shout and scream well then go and do it out there.... but. I am trying to sing a song that some people want to listen to. I want to listen to it.&quot;
**''During a concert for the &quot;Animals&quot; tour in Montreal, Quebec'', 1977 [can be heard on [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3b2J9Qevo1E]]
* &quot;Earlier this year we went skiing and I was in a shop, paying a bill and there was a woman standing there whom I knew slightly. I was waiting for my bill and she was buying something, a tea strainer. Quite suddenly she said to me, 'Where was your Father killed?'. I was very surprised and blurted out 'Oh Anzio'. Now this is a woman of about my age, so she's 40-ish. She said, 'My Father was killed in the war'. Apparently somebody lent her a copy of 'The Final Cut' and she had listened to the whole thing and she had found it very moving. In fact she said it had moved her to tears. She told me this, standing in the shop, with some effort I suspect, and I remember thinking: That's enough really. It doesn't matter if the Americans don't buy it.&quot;
**Karl Dallas Interview, 1984{{fix cite}} 
* &quot;I have nothing against [[David Gilmour|Dave Gilmour]] furthering his own goals. It's just the idea of Dave's solo career masquerading as Pink Floyd that offends me!&quot;
**''Penthouse Magazine'', September, 1988
* &quot;Either you write songs or you don't. And if you do write songs like I do, I think there's a natural desire to want to make records. So, when I left Pink Floyd, I guess I had two, no three choices open to me: Not to do it anymore, which is daft as I was writing songs, although I suppose I could have written for other people, but I like making records; so I could either do it as Roger Waters or I could have got together with other people and said hey, why don't we start a band? But my view of bands had been jaundiced slightly by my previous experience, so I think that was something I never considered.&quot;
**''Gold'', 1992
* &quot;I had at one point this rather depressing image of some alien culture seeing the death of this planet - coming down in their spaceships and sniffing around; finding all our skeletons sitting around our TV sets and trying to work out why our end came before its time and they come to the conclusion that we amused ourselves to death..&quot;
**''Amused to Death'' syndicate Radio Premiere, 1992
* &quot;Well, anyway, I am one of the best five writers to come out of English music since the War.&quot;
**Q magazine, November 1992
* &quot;It was very, very hard work organizing that Wall concert but everyone was fabulous to work with - Bryan Adams, Van Morrison, Cyndi Lauper, bloody brilliant. All brilliant. Except for Sinead O'Connor... She doesn't understand anything. She's just a silly little girl. You can't just lie in the corner and shave your bloody head and stick it up your arse and occasionally pull it out to go (_&quot;brogue&quot;_) 'Oh, I tink this is wrong and dat is wrong' and burst into tears.&quot;
**Q magazine, November 1992
* &quot;Andrew Lloyd Webber sickens me. He's in your face all the time and what he does is nonsense. It has no value. It is shallow, derivative rubbish, all of it, and it makes me very gloomy. Actually, I've never been to one of his shows but having put that slightly savage joke on the record, I thought I'd better listen to some Andrew Lloyd Webber and I was staying in a rented house in America this summer and the people who owned the house had a whole bunch of his rubbish so I thought I'd listen to Phantom Of The Opera and I put the record on and I was slightly apprehensive. I thought, Christ, I hope this isn't good - or even mediocre. I was not disappointed. Phantom Of The Opera is absolutely fucking horrible from start to finish.&quot;
**Q magazine, November 1992
* &quot;Radio One won't play my fucking single (What God Wants) because they know it's no good. They know it's not as good as Erasure or Janet fucking Jackson. They know that the British public shouldn't be listening to it. It makes my blood boil! If you're not 17 with a baseball hat on back to front, they don't want to know.&quot; 
**Q magazine, November 1992
* &quot;I was quite happy standing there thundering about, playing whatever I could - that's &quot;fun&quot;. And I see young bands occasionally now doing the same thing. I think it's called &quot;thrash&quot; now. It's the same thing: It's just kids who can't play, pissing about. It's terrific. That's all we were doing. I mean, Dave could play a little bit, but none of the rest of us could.&quot;
**Musician, December 1992
* &quot;It's actually quite emotional, standing up here with these three guys after all these years, standing to be counted with the rest of you. Anyway, we're doing this for everyone who's not here, and particulary of course for Syd&quot; 
** LIVE 8, Hyde Park, London, July 2005

===Roger Keith &quot;Syd&quot; Barrett===
* &quot;On the club scene we rate about two out of ten and 'Must try harder.' &quot;We've had problems with our equipment and we can't get the P.A. to work because we play extremely loudly. It's a pity because Syd (singer Syd Barrett) writes great lyrics and nobody ever hears them.&quot;
**Melody Maker, August, 1967

* &quot;Well, he's schizophrenic. And has been since 1968.&quot;
**Australian Radio, 1988{{fix cite}}

* &quot;Syd was a genius. But I wouldn't want to go back to playing Interstellar Overdrive for hours and hours.&quot;
**Q Magazine, November 1992

* &quot;Oh, they [the Media] definitely don't want to know the real Barrett story... there are no facts involved in the Barrett story so they can make up any story they like, and they do. There's a vague basis in fact: Syd was in the band and he did write the material on the first album, 80% of it, but that's all. It is only that one album, and that's what people don't realise. That first album, and one track on the second. That's all; nothing else.&quot;
**quoted in ''Lost In The Woods'' by Julian Palacios, 1997

* &quot;I could never aspire to Syd's crazed insights and perceptions. In fact for a long time I wouldn't have dreamt of claiming any insights whatsoever. I'll always credit Syd with the connection he made between his personal unconscious and the collective group unconscious. It's taken me 15 years to get anywhere near there. Even though he was clearly out of control when making his two solo albums, some of the work is staggeringly evocative. It's the humanity of it all that's so impressive. It's about deeply felt values and beliefs. Maybe that's what 'Dark Side of the Moon' was aspiring to. A similar feeling.&quot;
**quoted in ''Lost In The Woods'' by Julian Palacios, 1997

===Song Lyrics===
[[File:Brocken-tanzawa2.JPG|thumb|right|All you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be.]] 
[[File:2008-08-01 Solar eclipse progression.jpg|thumb|right|All that's to come, and everything under the sun is in tune, but the sun is eclipsed by the moon.]]
[[File:Roger Waters, May 18 2008.jpg|thumb|right|We don't need no education &lt;br&gt; We don't need no thought control]]
[[File:Roger Waters The Wall Live Kansas City 30 October 2010 2.jpeg|thumb|right|You are only coming through in waves, &lt;br&gt; Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying…]]
[[Image:Light dispersion conceptual.gif|thumb|right|Life is long but it goes fast  &lt;br&gt; The kids will have to separate  &lt;br&gt; Their future from our past...]]
[[Image:Fogbow glory spectre bridge.JPG|thumb|right|The ghosts are walking by my side &lt;br&gt; I feel their love I feel their pride &lt;br&gt; For I have built a bridge or two &lt;br&gt; Bridges between me and you &lt;br&gt; [[w:Hello (I Love You)|Hello I love you]].]]

&quot;Witness the man who raves at the wall 

Making the shape of his question to Heaven

Whether the sun will fall in the evening

Will he remember the lesson of giving

Set the controls for the heart of the sun&quot;

*&quot;Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun&quot; on ''A Saucerful of Secrets'' (Pink Floyd, 1968)


&quot;Music seems to help the pain,

seems to motivate the brain&quot;

*&quot;Take up Thy Stethoscope and Walk&quot; on ''The Piper at the Gates of Dawn'' (Pink Floyd, 1967)


&quot;And through the window in the wall

Comes streaming in on sunlight wings

A million bright ambassadors of morning.&quot;
*&quot;Echoes&quot; on ''Meddle'' (Pink Floyd, 1971)


Strangers passing in the street

By chance two separate glances meet

And I am you and what I see is me.
*&quot;Echoes&quot; on ''Meddle'' (Pink Floyd, 1971)


&quot;The memories of a man in his old age

Are the deeds of a man in his prime.

You shuffle in gloom of the sickroom

And talk to yourself as you die.

Life is a short, warm moment

And death is a long cold rest.

You get your chance to try in the twinkling of an eye:

Eighty years, with luck, or even less.&quot;
*&quot;Free Four&quot; on ''Obscured by Clouds'' (Pink Floyd, 1972)


&quot;All you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be.&quot;
*&quot;Breathe&quot; on ''The Dark Side of the Moon'' (Pink Floyd, 1973)


&quot;Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day,

You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way.

Kicking around on a piece of ground in your hometown,

Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.

Tired of lying in the sunshine, Staying home to watch the rain,

You are young and life is long, and there is time to kill today.

And then one day you find, ten years have gone behind you

No one told you when to run, You missed the starting gun.&quot;

*&quot;Time&quot; on ''The Dark Side of the Moon'' (Pink Floyd, 1973)


&quot;And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking

And racing around to come up behind you again

The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older

Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.&quot;

*&quot;Time&quot; on ''The Dark Side of the Moon'' (Pink Floyd, 1973)


&quot;Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way.&quot;
*&quot;Time&quot; on ''The Dark Side of the Moon'' (Pink Floyd, 1973)


&quot;All that is now

All that is gone

All that's to come

and everything under the sun is in tune

but the sun is eclipsed by the moon.&quot;
*&quot;Eclipse&quot; on ''The Dark Side of the Moon'' (Pink Floyd, 1973)


&quot;How I wish you were here,

We're just two lost souls 

swimming in a fishbowl 

year after year.

Running over the same old ground,

What have we found?

The same old fears,

Wish you were here.&quot;
*&quot;Wish You Were Here&quot; on ''Wish You Were Here'' (Pink Floyd, 1975)


&quot;The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want

He makes me down to lie

Through pastures green He leadeth me the silent waters by.

With bright knives He releaseth my soul.

He maketh me to hang on hooks in high places.

He converteth me to lamb cutlets,

For lo, He hath great power, and great hunger.

When cometh the day we lowly ones,

Through quiet reflection, and great dedication

Master the art of karate,

Lo, we shall rise up,

And then we'll make the bugger's eyes water.&quot;
*&quot;Sheep&quot; (paraphrasing Psalm 23) on ''Animals'' (Pink Floyd, 1977)


&quot;Wave upon wave of demented avengers march cheerfully out of obscurity into the dream&quot;
*&quot;Sheep&quot; on ''Animals'' (Pink Floyd, 1977)


&quot;When we grew up and went to school

There were certain teachers who 

Would hurt the children in any way they could.

By pouring their derision 

upon anything we did

Exposing every weakness 

However carefully hidden by the kid.

But in the town it was well known

When they got home at night

Their fat and psychopathic wives

Would thrash them within inches of their lives!&quot; 
*&quot;The Happiest Days of Our Lives&quot; on ''The Wall'' (Pink Floyd, 1979)


&quot;We don't need no education

We don't need no thought control

No dark sarcasm in the classroom

Teachers leave them kids alone

Hey! Teacher! Leave them Kids alone!&quot;
*&quot;Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2&quot; on ''The Wall'' (Pink Floyd, 1979)


&quot;You are only coming through in waves,

Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying,

When I was a child,

I caught a fleeting glimpse,

out of the corner of my eye,

I turned to look but it was gone,

I cannot put my finger on it now,

The child is grown,

The dream has gone,

And I have become

Comfortably Numb&quot;
*&quot;Comfortably Numb&quot; on ''The Wall'' (Pink Floyd, 1979)


&quot;Through the fish-eyed lens of tear-stained eyes 

I can barely define the shape of this moment in time

and far from flying high in clear blue skies 

I'm spiralling down to the hole in the ground where I hide.&quot;
*&quot;The Final Cut&quot; on ''The Final Cut'' (Pink Floyd, 1983)


&quot;And now from where I stand

Upon this hill I plundered from the pool

I look around, I search the skies

I shade my eyes, so nearly blind

And I see signs of half remembered days

I hear bells that chime in strange familiar ways

I recognise........

The hope you kindle in your eyes&quot;

*&quot;5.06 AM (Every Strangers Eyes)&quot; on ''The Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking'' (Roger Waters, 1985)


&quot;They like a bomb-proof Cadillac

Air-conditioned, gold taps

Back-seat gun rack, Platinum hub caps

They pick horses for courses

They're the market forces

They like order, make-up, limelight, power

Game shows, rodeos, Star Wars, TV

They're The Powers That Be

If you see them come, you better run&quot;

*&quot;The Powers That Be&quot; on ''Radio KAOS'' (Roger Waters, 1987)


You wake up in the morning

Find some things for the pot

Wonder why the sun makes the rocks feel hot

Draw on the walls, eat, get laid

Back in the good old days

Then some damn fool invents the wheel

Listen to the white-walls squeal

You spend all day looking for a parking spot

Nothing for the heart, nothing for the pot

*&quot;Me Or Him&quot; on ''Radio KAOS'' (Roger Waters, 1987)


* &lt;p&gt;I used to think the world was flat &lt;br /&gt; Rarely threw my hat into the crowd &lt;br /&gt; I felt I had used up my quota of yearning &lt;br /&gt; Used to look in on the children at night&lt;br /&gt; In the glow of their Donald Duck light&lt;br /&gt; And frighten myself with the thought of my little ones burning &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt; But ooh, the tide is turning &lt;br /&gt; The tide is turning.&lt;/p&gt;
** [[w:The Tide Is Turning|&quot;The Tide Is Turning (After Live Aid)&quot;]], on [[w:Radio K.A.O.S.|Radio K.A.O.S.]] (1987) - [http://lyrics.wikia.com/Roger_Waters:The_Tide_Is_Turning_(After_Live_Aid) Full lyrics at LyricWiki] · [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66nqhVtq6xo Tour performance] · [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvTvWJWeQ2g Video 2] [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFWCAYPWFbs Live in Berlin]

*&lt;p&gt;Who is the strongest, who is the best &lt;br /&gt;Who holds the aces, the East or the West&lt;br /&gt;'''This is the crap that our children are learning'''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;'''But ooh, the tide is turning.'''&lt;/p&gt;
** &quot;The Tide Is Turning (After Live Aid)&quot;, on  [[w:Radio K.A.O.S.|Radio K.A.O.S.]] (1987)

* '''I'm not saying the battle is won &lt;br /&gt; But on Saturday night all those kids in the sun &lt;br /&gt; Wrested technology's [[sword]] from the hands of the warlords &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, the tide is turning &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, the tide is turning.'''
** &quot;The Tide Is Turning (After Live Aid)&quot;, on  [[w:Radio K.A.O.S.|Radio K.A.O.S.]] (1987)


&quot;And when they found our shadows 

Grouped around the TV sets

They ran down every lead 

They repeated every test

They checked out all the data on their lists

And then the alien anthropologists

Admitted they were still perplexed

But on eliminating every other reason

For our sad demise

They logged the only explanation left

This species has amused itself to death.&quot;
*&quot;Amused to Death&quot; on ''Amused to Death'' (Roger Waters, 1992)

&quot;And the Germans killed the Jews

And the Jews killed the Arabs

And the Arabs killed the hostages

And that is the news

And is it any wonder

That the monkey's confused

He said Mama Mama

The President's a fool

Why do I have to keep reading

These technical manuals?&quot;

Read more: Roger Waters - Perfect Sense, Part I Lyrics | MetroLyrics

*&quot;Perfect Sense (part I)&quot; on ''Amused to Death'' (Roger Waters, 1992)


&quot;Can't you see

It all makes perfect sense

Expressed in dollars and cents,

Pounds, shillings and pence

Can't you see

It all makes perfect sense&quot;
*&quot;Perfect Sense&quot; on ''Amused to Death'' (Roger Waters, 1992)


&quot;The monkey sat on a pile of stone

And he stared at the broken bone in his hand

Strains of a Viennese quartet rang out across the land

The monkey looked up at the stars

And he thought to himself

Memory is a stranger

History is for fools

And he cleaned his hands in a pool of holy writing

Turned his back on the garden and set out for the nearest town&quot;
*&quot;Perfect Sense&quot; on ''Amused to Death'' (Roger Waters, 1992)


&quot; Oh George! Oh George! That Texas education must have fucked you up when you were very small&quot;

*&quot;Leaving Beirut&quot; on ''To Kill the Child/ Leaving Beirut'' (Roger Waters, 2005), regarding the war in Iraq


America, America, please hear us when we call

You got hip-hop, be-bop, hustle and bustle

You got Atticus Finch

You got Jane Russell

You got freedom of speech

You got great beaches, wildernesses and malls

Don't let the might, the Christian right, fuck it all up

For you and the rest of the world

*&quot;Leaving Beirut&quot; on ''To Kill the Child/ Leaving Beirut'' (Roger Waters, 2005), regarding the war in Iraq

* Have you heard &lt;br&gt; It was on the news &lt;br&gt; Your child can read you like a bedtime story &lt;br&gt; Like a magazine &lt;br&gt; Like a has-been out to grass &lt;br&gt; Like afternoon T.V. &lt;br&gt; Why is my life going by so fast?
** &quot;Hello (I Love You)&quot; was a created as a musical collaboration between [[w:Howard Shore|Howard Shore]] and  Waters for the film ''[[The Last Mimzy]]'' (2007). At [http://www.pr-inside.com/waters-records-film-tune-with-oscar-winning-r37315.htm PR-inside], Waters is quoted as saying: &quot;I think together we've come up with a song that captures the themes of the movie — the clash between humanity's best and worst instincts, and how a child's innocence can win the day.&quot; [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eK6FY4Hykc Video and full lyrics online]

* Life is long but it goes fast. &lt;br&gt; The kids will have to separate &lt;br&gt; Their future from our past.
** &quot;Hello (I Love You)&quot;

* The ghosts are walking by my side &lt;br&gt; I feel their love I feel their pride &lt;br&gt; For I have built a bridge or two &lt;br&gt; Bridges between me and you. &lt;br&gt; Hello I love you.
** &quot;Hello (I Love You)&quot;

===Miscellaneous===

* Regarding the spate of High School shootings of 1999: &quot;in the Colorado shootings, the media seemed to change their tack a bit. Though they attached ghoulishly to it, covered it 24 hours a day and even gave it a logo like 'Horror in the Rockies', they did address issues of alienation and pain rather than just saying, 'oh, these aberrant teen-agers have to be stamped out.' After denigrating self-help ideas for the last 20 years, the media are beginning to look at the psychology and not just the police work.&quot;
**''USA Today'', 1999{{fix cite}}
* &quot;I like to think oysters transcend national barriers, Adrian.&quot; - ''Pink Floyd: Live At Pompeii'' video, in an interview with director Adrian Maben.
* &quot;Are there any paranoids in the audience tonight? (the crowd cheers) Is there anyone who worries about things? (the crowd cheers again) Pathetic. This is for all the weak people in the audience! Is there anyone here who's weak? (the crowd cheers once more) This is for you, it's called Run Like Hell! (the song starts)&quot;
**''During the Los Angeles performance of &quot;The Wall&quot; at the Los Angeles Arena, California, February 1980''{{fix cite}}
* &quot;Who's got my pig?&quot;
** During Roger's Dark Side Of The Moon Tour at Verizon Wireless Amphitheater in Noblesville, Indiana when the pig was cut from the line and released into the sky.{{fix cite}}
* &quot;My mother told me I said to her, at age three, 'I'm going to go to Italy and get my father in a tractor.' 'You've never seen quite so fierce a little boy as you were,' she told me. She tried to explain that I couldn't get my father in a tractor. Apparently I looked at her and narrowed my eyes and said 'In that case, I'm going in a double-decker bus,' and stomped off. Which is kind of funny, but it's very sad, as well.&quot;
** In an interview in Rolling Stones Magazine, September 30, 2010, talking about his father who was killed in WWII.

== Comments About Waters ==
*Bob Ezrin about Waters: &quot;I hate the word &quot;artist,&quot; but I would definitely concede that Roger is a great artist...as well as a total obsessive and psychiatrist's dream.&quot;
(Printed in Penthouse Magazine, 1988){{fix cite}}

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}

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[[File:Roger Waters Morumbi.jpg|thumb|right|In the finished article, the only thing that is important is whether it moves you or not. There is nothing else that is important at all.]]
[[File:Roger Waters ott.jpg|thumb|right|All you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be.]]
[[Image:RogerWaters.jpg|thumb|right|You are young and life is long, and there is time to kill today. And then one day you find, ten years have gone behind you
No one told you when to run, You missed the starting gun.]]
[[Image:Roger Waters concert 05.jpg|thumb|right|I think that happiness resides somewhere between the extremes of personal, religious, and political. I think happiness resides where we understand someone else's point of view and needs. Happiness resides where we are not lost in the solitary dream.]]
[[File:RWHollywoodBowl1-cover.JPG|thumb|right| Will the technologies of communication and culture — and especially popular music, which is a vast and beloved enterprise — help us to understand one another better, or will they deceive us and keep us apart?]]
'''[[w:Roger Waters|George Roger Waters]]''' (born [[6 September]] [[1943]]) is a British musician who was for a long period the bass player, primary songwriter and one of the primary vocalists (along with [[David Gilmour]]) for the rock band [[Pink Floyd]].

==Quotes==
===Philosophy===
* Asked what his artistic purpose was: &quot;There is no purpose. We do whatever we do. You either blow your brains out or get on with something.&quot; 
**June 1987{{source}}

*&quot;I’m not a huge practicing Christian myself, but it just staggers me that people who claim to be can stand up and spout – like your president George Bush – can stand up and spout this bullshit about God supporting one side over another in war, which is why I wrote the lyrics of the song &quot;What God Wants&quot;: “God wants crusade/God wants Jihad.” Well it may well be that God doesn’t want either of those things. They’re manifestations of the insecurities of the Muslim and Christian communities. I hate when someone uses religion to bolster war in the world: it's extremely disgusting and offensive for me, and for all christians, because that was not what Christ was trying to teach.&quot;
**&quot;Roger Waters talks about What God Wants&quot;, a 1993 interview
**Roger Waters talks about What God Wants - 1993 - (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgsTVIsuXVg)

* &quot;What it comes down to for me is: Will the technologies of communication and culture — and especially popular music, which is a vast and beloved enterprise — help us to understand one another better, or will they deceive us and keep us apart?&quot;
**''Penthouse Magazine'', September, 1988

* &quot;The very early days of Pink Floyd were magical. We played small auditoriums for entranced audiences, and there was a wonderful sense of communion. We got overpowered by the weight of success and numbers — not just the money but the size of the audience. I became very disenchanted. I had to make the choice of staying on the treadmill or making the braver decision to travel a more difficult path alone.&quot;
**''USA Today'', 1999{{fix cite}} 

* &quot;I think that happiness resides somewhere between the extremes of personal, religious, and political. I think happiness resides where we understand someone else's point of view and needs. Happiness resides where we are not lost in the solitary dream.&quot;
**November 2005{{source}}

===Music===
* &quot;For us the most important thing is to be visual, and for the cats watching us to have fun. This is all we want. We get very upset if people get bored when we're only half way through smashing the second set. Then all of a sudden they hear Arnold Layne and they flip all over again.&quot;
**''Rave UK Magazine'', June 1967
* &quot;We've got the recording side together and not the playing side.&quot; 
** Melody Maker, August 1967
*&quot;It's like saying 'Give a man a Les Paul guitar and he becomes Eric Clapton,' you know. It's not true. And give a man an amplifier and a synthesizer, and he doesn't become whoever, you know. He doesn't become us.&quot;
**Pink Floyd: Live at Pompeii, 1972
*&quot;In the finished article, the only thing that is important is whether it moves you or not. There is nothing else that is important at all.&quot;
**Pink Floyd: Live at Pompeii, 1972
* &quot;Oh, for fuck sake stop lighting off fireworks and shouting &amp; screaming I'm trying to sing a song! I mean I don't care. If you don't want to hear it. You know fuck you. I'm sure there are a lot of people here who do want to hear it. So why don't you just be quiet. If you want to light your fireworks off go outside and light them off out there and if you want to shout and scream well then go and do it out there.... but. I am trying to sing a song that some people want to listen to. I want to listen to it.&quot;
**''During a concert for the &quot;Animals&quot; tour in Montreal, Quebec'', 1977 [can be heard on [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3b2J9Qevo1E]]
* &quot;Earlier this year we went skiing and I was in a shop, paying a bill and there was a woman standing there whom I knew slightly. I was waiting for my bill and she was buying something, a tea strainer. Quite suddenly she said to me, 'Where was your Father killed?'. I was very surprised and blurted out 'Oh Anzio'. Now this is a woman of about my age, so she's 40-ish. She said, 'My Father was killed in the war'. Apparently somebody lent her a copy of 'The Final Cut' and she had listened to the whole thing and she had found it very moving. In fact she said it had moved her to tears. She told me this, standing in the shop, with some effort I suspect, and I remember thinking: That's enough really. It doesn't matter if the Americans don't buy it.&quot;
**Karl Dallas Interview, 1984{{fix cite}} 
* &quot;I have nothing against [[David Gilmour|Dave Gilmour]] furthering his own goals. It's just the idea of Dave's solo career masquerading as Pink Floyd that offends me!&quot;
**''Penthouse Magazine'', September, 1988
* &quot;Either you write songs or you don't. And if you do write songs like I do, I think there's a natural desire to want to make records. So, when I left Pink Floyd, I guess I had two, no three choices open to me: Not to do it anymore, which is daft as I was writing songs, although I suppose I could have written for other people, but I like making records; so I could either do it as Roger Waters or I could have got together with other people and said hey, why don't we start a band? But my view of bands had been jaundiced slightly by my previous experience, so I think that was something I never considered.&quot;
**''Gold'', 1992
* &quot;I had at one point this rather depressing image of some alien culture seeing the death of this planet - coming down in their spaceships and sniffing around; finding all our skeletons sitting around our TV sets and trying to work out why our end came before its time and they come to the conclusion that we amused ourselves to death..&quot;
**''Amused to Death'' syndicate Radio Premiere, 1992
* &quot;Well, anyway, I am one of the best five writers to come out of English music since the War.&quot;
**Q magazine, November 1992
* &quot;It was very, very hard work organizing that Wall concert but everyone was fabulous to work with - Bryan Adams, Van Morrison, Cyndi Lauper, bloody brilliant. All brilliant. Except for Sinead O'Connor... She doesn't understand anything. She's just a silly little girl. You can't just lie in the corner and shave your bloody head and stick it up your arse and occasionally pull it out to go (_&quot;brogue&quot;_) 'Oh, I tink this is wrong and dat is wrong' and burst into tears.&quot;
**Q magazine, November 1992
* &quot;Andrew Lloyd Webber sickens me. He's in your face all the time and what he does is nonsense. It has no value. It is shallow, derivative rubbish, all of it, and it makes me very gloomy. Actually, I've never been to one of his shows but having put that slightly savage joke on the record, I thought I'd better listen to some Andrew Lloyd Webber and I was staying in a rented house in America this summer and the people who owned the house had a whole bunch of his rubbish so I thought I'd listen to Phantom Of The Opera and I put the record on and I was slightly apprehensive. I thought, Christ, I hope this isn't good - or even mediocre. I was not disappointed. Phantom Of The Opera is absolutely fucking horrible from start to finish.&quot;
**Q magazine, November 1992
* &quot;Radio One won't play my fucking single (What God Wants) because they know it's no good. They know it's not as good as Erasure or Janet fucking Jackson. They know that the British public shouldn't be listening to it. It makes my blood boil! If you're not 17 with a baseball hat on back to front, they don't want to know.&quot; 
**Q magazine, November 1992
* &quot;I was quite happy standing there thundering about, playing whatever I could - that's &quot;fun&quot;. And I see young bands occasionally now doing the same thing. I think it's called &quot;thrash&quot; now. It's the same thing: It's just kids who can't play, pissing about. It's terrific. That's all we were doing. I mean, Dave could play a little bit, but none of the rest of us could.&quot;
**Musician, December 1992
* &quot;It's actually quite emotional, standing up here with these three guys after all these years, standing to be counted with the rest of you. Anyway, we're doing this for everyone who's not here, and particulary of course for Syd&quot; 
** LIVE 8, Hyde Park, London, July 2005

===Roger Keith &quot;Syd&quot; Barrett===
* &quot;On the club scene we rate about two out of ten and 'Must try harder.' &quot;We've had problems with our equipment and we can't get the P.A. to work because we play extremely loudly. It's a pity because Syd (singer Syd Barrett) writes great lyrics and nobody ever hears them.&quot;
**Melody Maker, August, 1967

* &quot;Well, he's schizophrenic. And has been since 1968.&quot;
**Australian Radio, 1988{{fix cite}}

* &quot;Syd was a genius. But I wouldn't want to go back to playing Interstellar Overdrive for hours and hours.&quot;
**Q Magazine, November 1992

* &quot;Oh, they [the Media] definitely don't want to know the real Barrett story... there are no facts involved in the Barrett story so they can make up any story they like, and they do. There's a vague basis in fact: Syd was in the band and he did write the material on the first album, 80% of it, but that's all. It is only that one album, and that's what people don't realise. That first album, and one track on the second. That's all; nothing else.&quot;
**quoted in ''Lost In The Woods'' by Julian Palacios, 1997

* &quot;I could never aspire to Syd's crazed insights and perceptions. In fact for a long time I wouldn't have dreamt of claiming any insights whatsoever. I'll always credit Syd with the connection he made between his personal unconscious and the collective group unconscious. It's taken me 15 years to get anywhere near there. Even though he was clearly out of control when making his two solo albums, some of the work is staggeringly evocative. It's the humanity of it all that's so impressive. It's about deeply felt values and beliefs. Maybe that's what 'Dark Side of the Moon' was aspiring to. A similar feeling.&quot;
**quoted in ''Lost In The Woods'' by Julian Palacios, 1997

===Song Lyrics===
[[File:Brocken-tanzawa2.JPG|thumb|right|All you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be.]] 
[[File:2008-08-01 Solar eclipse progression.jpg|thumb|right|All that's to come, and everything under the sun is in tune, but the sun is eclipsed by the moon.]]
[[File:Roger Waters, May 18 2008.jpg|thumb|right|We don't need no education &lt;br&gt; We don't need no thought control]]
[[File:Roger Waters The Wall Live Kansas City 30 October 2010 2.jpeg|thumb|right|You are only coming through in waves, &lt;br&gt; Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying…]]
[[Image:Light dispersion conceptual.gif|thumb|right|Life is long but it goes fast  &lt;br&gt; The kids will have to separate  &lt;br&gt; Their future from our past...]]
[[Image:Fogbow glory spectre bridge.JPG|thumb|right|The ghosts are walking by my side &lt;br&gt; I feel their love I feel their pride &lt;br&gt; For I have built a bridge or two &lt;br&gt; Bridges between me and you &lt;br&gt; [[w:Hello (I Love You)|Hello I love you]].]]

&quot;Witness the man who raves at the wall 

Making the shape of his question to Heaven

Whether the sun will fall in the evening

Will he remember the lesson of giving

Set the controls for the heart of the sun&quot;

*&quot;Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun&quot; on ''A Saucerful of Secrets'' (Pink Floyd, 1968)


&quot;Music seems to help the pain,

seems to motivate the brain&quot;

*&quot;Take up Thy Stethoscope and Walk&quot; on ''The Piper at the Gates of Dawn'' (Pink Floyd, 1967)


&quot;And through the window in the wall

Comes streaming in on sunlight wings

A million bright ambassadors of morning.&quot;
*&quot;Echoes&quot; on ''Meddle'' (Pink Floyd, 1971)


Strangers passing in the street

By chance two separate glances meet

And I am you and what I see is me.
*&quot;Echoes&quot; on ''Meddle'' (Pink Floyd, 1971)


&quot;The memories of a man in his old age

Are the deeds of a man in his prime.

You shuffle in gloom of the sickroom

And talk to yourself as you die.

Life is a short, warm moment

And death is a long cold rest.

You get your chance to try in the twinkling of an eye:

Eighty years, with luck, or even less.&quot;
*&quot;Free Four&quot; on ''Obscured by Clouds'' (Pink Floyd, 1972)


&quot;All you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be.&quot;
*&quot;Breathe&quot; on ''The Dark Side of the Moon'' (Pink Floyd, 1973)


&quot;Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day,

You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way.

Kicking around on a piece of ground in your hometown,

Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.

Tired of lying in the sunshine, Staying home to watch the rain,

You are young and life is long, and there is time to kill today.

And then one day you find, ten years have gone behind you

No one told you when to run, You missed the starting gun.&quot;

*&quot;Time&quot; on ''The Dark Side of the Moon'' (Pink Floyd, 1973)


&quot;And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking

And racing around to come up behind you again

The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older

Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.&quot;

*&quot;Time&quot; on ''The Dark Side of the Moon'' (Pink Floyd, 1973)


&quot;Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way.&quot;
*&quot;Time&quot; on ''The Dark Side of the Moon'' (Pink Floyd, 1973)


&quot;All that is now

All that is gone

All that's to come

and everything under the sun is in tune

but the sun is eclipsed by the moon.&quot;
*&quot;Eclipse&quot; on ''The Dark Side of the Moon'' (Pink Floyd, 1973)


&quot;How I wish you were here,

We're just two lost souls 

swimming in a fishbowl 

year after year.

Running over the same old ground,

What have we found?

The same old fears,

Wish you were here.&quot;
*&quot;Wish You Were Here&quot; on ''Wish You Were Here'' (Pink Floyd, 1975)


&quot;The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want

He makes me down to lie

Through pastures green He leadeth me the silent waters by.

With bright knives He releaseth my soul.

He maketh me to hang on hooks in high places.

He converteth me to lamb cutlets,

For lo, He hath great power, and great hunger.

When cometh the day we lowly ones,

Through quiet reflection, and great dedication

Master the art of karate,

Lo, we shall rise up,

And then we'll make the bugger's eyes water.&quot;
*&quot;Sheep&quot; (paraphrasing Psalm 23) on ''Animals'' (Pink Floyd, 1977)


&quot;Wave upon wave of demented avengers march cheerfully out of obscurity into the dream&quot;
*&quot;Sheep&quot; on ''Animals'' (Pink Floyd, 1977)


&quot;When we grew up and went to school

There were certain teachers who 

Would hurt the children in any way they could.

By pouring their derision 

upon anything we did

Exposing every weakness 

However carefully hidden by the kid.

But in the town it was well known

When they got home at night

Their fat and psychopathic wives

Would thrash them within inches of their lives!&quot; 
*&quot;The Happiest Days of Our Lives&quot; on ''The Wall'' (Pink Floyd, 1979)


&quot;We don't need no education

We don't need no thought control

No dark sarcasm in the classroom

Teachers leave them kids alone

Hey! Teacher! Leave them Kids alone!&quot;
*&quot;Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2&quot; on ''The Wall'' (Pink Floyd, 1979)


&quot;You are only coming through in waves,

Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying,

When I was a child,

I caught a fleeting glimpse,

out of the corner of my eye,

I turned to look but it was gone,

I cannot put my finger on it now,

The child is grown,

The dream has gone,

And I have become

Comfortably Numb&quot;
*&quot;Comfortably Numb&quot; on ''The Wall'' (Pink Floyd, 1979)


&quot;Through the fish-eyed lens of tear-stained eyes 

I can barely define the shape of this moment in time

and far from flying high in clear blue skies 

I'm spiralling down to the hole in the ground where I hide.&quot;
*&quot;The Final Cut&quot; on ''The Final Cut'' (Pink Floyd, 1983)


&quot;And now from where I stand

Upon this hill I plundered from the pool

I look around, I search the skies

I shade my eyes, so nearly blind

And I see signs of half remembered days

I hear bells that chime in strange familiar ways

I recognise........

The hope you kindle in your eyes&quot;

*&quot;5.06 AM (Every Strangers Eyes)&quot; on ''The Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking'' (Roger Waters, 1985)


&quot;They like a bomb-proof Cadillac

Air-conditioned, gold taps

Back-seat gun rack, Platinum hub caps

They pick horses for courses

They're the market forces

They like order, make-up, limelight, power

Game shows, rodeos, Star Wars, TV

They're The Powers That Be

If you see them come, you better run&quot;

*&quot;The Powers That Be&quot; on ''Radio KAOS'' (Roger Waters, 1987)


You wake up in the morning

Find some things for the pot

Wonder why the sun makes the rocks feel hot

Draw on the walls, eat, get laid

Back in the good old days

Then some damn fool invents the wheel

Listen to the white-walls squeal

You spend all day looking for a parking spot

Nothing for the heart, nothing for the pot

*&quot;Me Or Him&quot; on ''Radio KAOS'' (Roger Waters, 1987)


* &lt;p&gt;I used to think the world was flat &lt;br /&gt; Rarely threw my hat into the crowd &lt;br /&gt; I felt I had used up my quota of yearning &lt;br /&gt; Used to look in on the children at night&lt;br /&gt; In the glow of their Donald Duck light&lt;br /&gt; And frighten myself with the thought of my little ones burning &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt; But ooh, the tide is turning &lt;br /&gt; The tide is turning.&lt;/p&gt;
** [[w:The Tide Is Turning|&quot;The Tide Is Turning (After Live Aid)&quot;]], on [[w:Radio K.A.O.S.|Radio K.A.O.S.]] (1987) - [http://lyrics.wikia.com/Roger_Waters:The_Tide_Is_Turning_(After_Live_Aid) Full lyrics at LyricWiki] · [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66nqhVtq6xo Tour performance] · [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvTvWJWeQ2g Video 2] [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFWCAYPWFbs Live in Berlin]

*&lt;p&gt;Who is the strongest, who is the best &lt;br /&gt;Who holds the aces, the East or the West&lt;br /&gt;'''This is the crap that our children are learning'''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;'''But ooh, the tide is turning.'''&lt;/p&gt;
** &quot;The Tide Is Turning (After Live Aid)&quot;, on  [[w:Radio K.A.O.S.|Radio K.A.O.S.]] (1987)

* '''I'm not saying the battle is won &lt;br /&gt; But on Saturday night all those kids in the sun &lt;br /&gt; Wrested technology's [[sword]] from the hands of the warlords &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, the tide is turning &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, the tide is turning.'''
** &quot;The Tide Is Turning (After Live Aid)&quot;, on  [[w:Radio K.A.O.S.|Radio K.A.O.S.]] (1987)


&quot;And when they found our shadows 

Grouped around the TV sets

They ran down every lead 

They repeated every test

They checked out all the data on their lists

And then the alien anthropologists

Admitted they were still perplexed

But on eliminating every other reason

For our sad demise

They logged the only explanation left

This species has amused itself to death.&quot;
*&quot;Amused to Death&quot; on ''Amused to Death'' (Roger Waters, 1992)

&quot;And the Germans killed the Jews

And the Jews killed the Arabs

And the Arabs killed the hostages

And that is the news

And is it any wonder

That the monkey's confused

He said Mama Mama

The President's a fool

Why do I have to keep reading

These technical manuals?&quot;

Read more: Roger Waters - Perfect Sense, Part I Lyrics | MetroLyrics

*&quot;Perfect Sense (part I)&quot; on ''Amused to Death'' (Roger Waters, 1992)


&quot;Can't you see

It all makes perfect sense

Expressed in dollars and cents,

Pounds, shillings and pence

Can't you see

It all makes perfect sense&quot;
*&quot;Perfect Sense&quot; on ''Amused to Death'' (Roger Waters, 1992)


&quot;The monkey sat on a pile of stone

And he stared at the broken bone in his hand

Strains of a Viennese quartet rang out across the land

The monkey looked up at the stars

And he thought to himself

Memory is a stranger

History is for fools

And he cleaned his hands in a pool of holy writing

Turned his back on the garden and set out for the nearest town&quot;
*&quot;Perfect Sense&quot; on ''Amused to Death'' (Roger Waters, 1992)


&quot; Oh George! Oh George! That Texas education must have fucked you up when you were very small&quot;

*&quot;Leaving Beirut&quot; on ''To Kill the Child/ Leaving Beirut'' (Roger Waters, 2005), regarding the war in Iraq


America, America, please hear us when we call

You got hip-hop, be-bop, hustle and bustle

You got Atticus Finch

You got Jane Russell

You got freedom of speech

You got great beaches, wildernesses and malls

Don't let the might, the Christian right, fuck it all up

For you and the rest of the world

*&quot;Leaving Beirut&quot; on ''To Kill the Child/ Leaving Beirut'' (Roger Waters, 2005), regarding the war in Iraq

* Have you heard &lt;br&gt; It was on the news &lt;br&gt; Your child can read you like a bedtime story &lt;br&gt; Like a magazine &lt;br&gt; Like a has-been out to grass &lt;br&gt; Like afternoon T.V. &lt;br&gt; Why is my life going by so fast?
** &quot;Hello (I Love You)&quot; was a created as a musical collaboration between [[w:Howard Shore|Howard Shore]] and  Waters for the film ''[[The Last Mimzy]]'' (2007). At [http://www.pr-inside.com/waters-records-film-tune-with-oscar-winning-r37315.htm PR-inside], Waters is quoted as saying: &quot;I think together we've come up with a song that captures the themes of the movie — the clash between humanity's best and worst instincts, and how a child's innocence can win the day.&quot; [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eK6FY4Hykc Video and full lyrics online]

* Life is long but it goes fast. &lt;br&gt; The kids will have to separate &lt;br&gt; Their future from our past.
** &quot;Hello (I Love You)&quot;

* The ghosts are walking by my side &lt;br&gt; I feel their love I feel their pride &lt;br&gt; For I have built a bridge or two &lt;br&gt; Bridges between me and you. &lt;br&gt; Hello I love you.
** &quot;Hello (I Love You)&quot;

===Miscellaneous===

* Regarding the spate of High School shootings of 1999: &quot;in the Colorado shootings, the media seemed to change their tack a bit. Though they attached ghoulishly to it, covered it 24 hours a day and even gave it a logo like 'Horror in the Rockies', they did address issues of alienation and pain rather than just saying, 'oh, these aberrant teen-agers have to be stamped out.' After denigrating self-help ideas for the last 20 years, the media are beginning to look at the psychology and not just the police work.&quot;
**''USA Today'', 1999{{fix cite}}
* &quot;I like to think oysters transcend national barriers, Adrian.&quot; - ''Pink Floyd: Live At Pompeii'' video, in an interview with director Adrian Maben.
* &quot;Are there any paranoids in the audience tonight? (the crowd cheers) Is there anyone who worries about things? (the crowd cheers again) Pathetic. This is for all the weak people in the audience! Is there anyone here who's weak? (the crowd cheers once more) This is for you, it's called Run Like Hell! (the song starts)&quot;
**''During the Los Angeles performance of &quot;The Wall&quot; at the Los Angeles Arena, California, February 1980''{{fix cite}}
* &quot;Who's got my pig?&quot;
** During Roger's Dark Side Of The Moon Tour at Verizon Wireless Amphitheater in Noblesville, Indiana when the pig was cut from the line and released into the sky.{{fix cite}}
* &quot;My mother told me I said to her, at age three, 'I'm going to go to Italy and get my father in a tractor.' 'You've never seen quite so fierce a little boy as you were,' she told me. She tried to explain that I couldn't get my father in a tractor. Apparently I looked at her and narrowed my eyes and said 'In that case, I'm going in a double-decker bus,' and stomped off. Which is kind of funny, but it's very sad, as well.&quot;
** In an interview in Rolling Stones Magazine, September 30, 2010, talking about his father who was killed in WWII.

== Comments About Waters ==
*Bob Ezrin about Waters: &quot;I hate the word &quot;artist,&quot; but I would definitely concede that Roger is a great artist...as well as a total obsessive and psychiatrist's dream.&quot;
(Printed in Penthouse Magazine, 1988){{fix cite}}

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Waters, Roger}}
[[Category:1943 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Pink Floyd]]
[[Category:Bassists]]
[[Category:Guitarists from England]]
[[Category:Singer-songwriters from England]]
[[Category:English composers]]
[[Category:Record producers from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:Socialists from England]]
[[Category:Anti-war activists]]
[[Category:English atheists]]
[[Category:Anti-imperialists]]
[[Category:Anti-fascists]]</text>
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    <title>The Muppet Show</title>
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'''''[[w:The Muppet Show|The Muppet Show]]''''' (1976–1981) was the brainchild of [[ Jim Henson]], and featured [[w:The Muppets|The Muppets]], a group of puppets and costumed characters. The general set up was a &quot;live&quot; variety show hosted by [[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]. Each episode featured several &quot;on stage&quot; sketches, usually starring the week's guest star, interspersed with backstage scenes.

==Season 1 (1976-1977)==

===[[w:Juliet Prowse|Juliet Prowse]]===
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': That's one of the reasons I always thought the Muppets are weird.
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Statler]]''': Why is that?
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': They think explosions are funny. Explosions aren't funny. ''[Statler's cigar explodes]'' ...Although, some of them are really quite droll.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': ''[after Juliet called him &quot;the [[w:Robert Redford|Robert Redford]] of frogs&quot;]'' You're gonna be coming back on this show a LOT! I mean it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Yeah, whadya think?
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Statler]]''': Beats sitting home watching television.
:'''[[w:Mah Nà Mah Nà|Mahna Mahna]]''': Mahna Mahna!

===[[w:Connie Stevens|Connie Stevens]]/[[w:Bert and Ernie|Bert and Ernie]] [1.02]===
:'''[[w:Bert and Ernie|Bert]]''': Ernie... did I make a complete fool of myself?
:'''[[w:Bert and Ernie|Ernie]]''': ''[patting Bert's shoulder]'' Absolutely, Bert.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Statler]]''': Hm. Do you think this show is educational?
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Yes. It'll drive people to read books.

===[[Joel Grey]] [1.03]===
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': Bug off? What kind of joke was that?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': That was no joke, Fozzie.
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': That was my wife!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': More! More!
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Statler]]''': No, not so loud: they may hear you!

===[[w:Ruth Buzzi|Ruth Buzzi]] [1.04]===
:'''Robot Kermit''': Hey, listen, how about you, and me getting together, and making some ''steam'' heat. Huh, snuggle bunny?
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Snuggle bunny? Why, uh...
:'''Robot Kermit''': Yeah. Look, let me take you away from all this. Ah, a marriage made in heaven! A frog and a pig. And we can have bouncing baby figs!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Statler]]''': Well, did you like the show?
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': No I didn't. No I didn't. No I didn't.

===[[Rita Moreno]] [1.05]===
:'''Dancer''': I hear you come from a broken home.
:'''[[w:Animal (muppet)|Animal]]''': Yeah, I broke it myself!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Yes, uh, well, uhn-huh. I still couldn't find the chewing gum.

===[[w:Jim Nabors|Jim Nabors]] [1.06]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Your salary is 20 a week.
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': Could you make it 25?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Are you kidding? I can't afford it!
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': Gee, my uncle will be really disappointed.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': How about 30?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Pay up, they made it through another one.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Double or nothing on next week's show?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': You're on.

===[[w:Florence Henderson|Florence Henderson]] [1.07]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Can we get back to the subject at hand... Florence?
:'''[[w:Florence Henderson|Florence]]''': Well, there's no question in my mind!
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': ''[after a pause]'' As to what?
:'''[[w:Florence Henderson|Florence]]''': Nothing! There's no question in my mind! Ha ha! No answers either.

===[[Paul Williams (songwriter)|Paul Williams]] [1.08]===
:'''[[w:Janice (muppet)|Janice]]''': That man is annoying me.
:'''[[w:Zoot (muppet)|Zoot]]''': He isn't even looking at you.
:'''[[w:Janice (muppet)|Janice]]''': That's what's annoying me.

===[[w:Charles Aznavour|Charles Aznavour]] [1.09]===
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Hey, Kermit, are you busy?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Yes, Gonzo, but I can give you my ear for a minute.
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': What would I do with your ear?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': ''[exasperated]'' Van Gogh impressions.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gonzo''': You'll all see because there's only one Great Gonzo, only one!
:'''Kermit''': Thank goodness for that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Rowlf the Dog|Dr Bob]]''': This is D for Doc B for Bob saying turn off the Joy Juice ''[laughs then puts gas mask to his left ear]'' Hmm? ''[speaks into it]'' Ten-Roger, OK where were we? Pulse?
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Nurse Piggy]]''': ''[checks pulse and gasps]'' No pulse, Dr. Bob.
:'''[[w:Rowlf the Dog|Dr Bob]]''': Hmmm, Heartbeat?
:'''[[w:Janice (muppet)|Nurse Janice]]''': ''[checks heartbeat]'' No heartbeat, Dr. Bob.
:'''[[w:Rowlf the Dog|Dr Bob]]''': No pulse, no heartbeat, no use. He's gone!
:'''[[w:Janice (muppet)|Nurse Janice]]''': And Dr Bob your record was so good, you saved nine out of ten.
:'''[[w:Rowlf the Dog|Dr Bob]]''': My record is still good, this week he was ten.
:'''Announcer''': And so Dr Bob's record is still good, it is top on the medical fame, with a bullet, tune in next when we will hear nurse Piggy say...
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Nurse Piggy]]''': I hope nobody hears about this Dr. Bob.
:'''[[w:Rowlf the Dog|Dr Bob]]''': At least ''he'' won't say anything, hahaha!
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Nurse Piggy]]''': I get it! haha! I get it! (laughs with him)

===[[w:Harvey Korman|Harvey Korman]] [1.10]===
:'''[[w:Harvey Korman|Harvey Korman]]''': ''[as Maurice the Magnificent]'' Speak. Speak you demon, SPEAK!
:'''Thog''': ''[gulps]'' I hardly know where to begin.

===[[Lena Horne]] [1.11]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Well, Piggy, sometimes, the truth hurts.
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Hurt? I'll show you hurt! HAI-YA! ''[karate-chops Kermit]''

===[[Peter Ustinov]] [1.12]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Okay, okay, good bit, good bit, good ending, and sorry about the head.

===[[w:Bruce Forsyth|Bruce Forsyth]] [1.13]===
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': My cousin is ''so'' dumb, he thinks eggs Benedict is a Mafia gangster!
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': I've seen ''cheeseburgers'' funnier than that!

===[[w:Sandy Duncan|Sandy Duncan]] [1.14]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': ...and so, that means our show tonight will be a real bang up affar-
:'''[[w:Crazy Harry|Crazy Harry]]''': Did somebody say bang?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Uh, no. ''[Gets blown into Statler and Waldorf's box]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': Would you lend me a fiver till pay day? I gotta pay my writer, the legendary 'Gags' Beasley.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': The legendary 'Gags' comes pretty cheap, doesn't he?
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': Well, we worked out a great deal.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': You pay him by the line?
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': No, I pay him by the laugh.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Oh, then he owes you money.

===[[w:Candice Bergen|Candice Bergen]] [1.15]===
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Kermit, dear, did you know that every time we have a beautiful girl on this show, you forget about me?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Yeah, well, we could have a seal act on this show, Piggy, and I might forget about you.

===[[w:Avery Schreiber|Avery Schreiber]] [1.16]===
:'''[[w:Dr. Bunsen Honeydew|Dr. Bunsen Honeydew]]''': Think of the safety. Think of the sense of well-being. And, at last, your family can be protected from the heartbreak of gorilla invasion.

===[[w:Ben Vereen|Ben Vereen]] [1.17]===
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Nurse Piggy]]''': It's too late, Dr. Bob. We've lost him.
:'''[[w:Rowlf the Dog|Doctor Bob]]''': Well, he couldn't have gone so far. He was under the sheet just a second ago.

===[[w:Phyllis Diller|Phyllis Diller]] [1.18]===
:'''[[w:Rowlf the Dog|Rowlf the Dog]]''': You think that's bad? For the first three months of my life there was a newspaper strike!

===[[Vincent Price]] [1.19]===
:'''[[w:Sam the Eagle|Sam the Eagle]]''': If you are like me, and you certainly must be, you are appalled and shocked at the weird, unnatural things going on tonight.

:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': This go-fer's about to become a gone-fer.

===[[w:Valerie Harper|Valerie Harper]] [1.20]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': That was great! And, you are just wonderful, Valerie! I tell you, you are going out on that stage a star, but you are gonna be coming back a chorus girl, right?

===[[Twiggy]] [1.21]===
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': I – I was just in my star's dressing room, and I saw the most ghoulish, fiendish-looking face in the closet!
:'''Hilda''': That was me, clown! And I was hanging up the wardrobe.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Uncle Deadly''': I swore I would never perform here again, nor would anyone else. I will drive you all from this theatre. LEAVE OR BE DOOOOOOOOOMED! ''[He switches to a normal voice]'' Which way do I exit?

===[[Ethel Merman]] [1.22]===
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': ''[giving Ethel roses]'' Miss Merman, from all of us, to you.
:'''[[Ethel Merman|Ethel]]''': Oh, how kind of you, Miss Piggy...they won't explode, will they?

===[[w:Kaye Ballard|Kaye Ballard]] [1.23]===
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper]]''': Me and the gang have decided not to end our gig here.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Oh, good!
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper]]''': ''If''...
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Uh-huh? If what?
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper]]''': If I can write the new theme song.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Oh! Oh, that'll be fine with me.
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper]]''': No, it won't, man.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Uh, why not?
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper]]''': You'll hate my music! You won't understand it!
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Well, now listen here. I-I'm pretty hip too, you know.
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper]]''': Not hip enough. Nobody understands my music. I mean, I don't even understand it.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': You don't?
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper]]''': If I didn't know I was a genius, I wouldn't listen to the trash I write.

===[[w:Mummenschanz|Mummenschanz]] [1.24]===
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': ''[singing while following Miss Piggy]'' She kissed me! She put her arms around me and she kissed me!
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': ''[humiliated]'' It was that case of the mistaken identity!
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Hug me, Miss Piggy! Hold me!
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': I will not hug you, you...twit turkey!
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Oh, hold my hand, pig-of-my-dreams!
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Will you beat it, twerp?!
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Just touch me, oh, hog-of-my-heart!
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Here's a touch for you, wimp-buzzard!
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': I'm ready!
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': HAI-YA! ''[karate-chops Gonzo, and leaves]''
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': ''[singing dazed]'' She touched me...She swung her porky pinkies and she touched me! ''[faints]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': [[w:Miss Piggy|Piggy]], while I appreciate this offer of affection, I hope you will understand when I tell you, as usual, that I do not want you.
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Oh, then can I have her?
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': HAI-YA! ''[standing between Kermit and Gonzo, she karate-chops both of them, one with each hand]'' That is known as getting two turkeys with one chop.

==Season 2 (1977-1978)==

===[[w:Don Knotts|Don Knotts]] [2.01]===
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': I know what is wrong, with this show, it's the theater!
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': What's wrong with it?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': The seats face the stage!

===[[Zero Mostel]] [2.02]===
:'''[[Zero Mostel|Zero]]''': I am not in my dressing room, eating! I am in my dressing room, being eaten!
----
:'''Sam the Eagle''': I think you know why I am here.
:'''Kermit the Frog''': Uh, actually, Sam, to tell you the truth, I've never known why you're here.

===[[Milton Berle]] [2.03]===
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler and Waldorf]]''': Funny, Funny, FUNNY!
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Uh-Huh! Uh-Huh! I heard about them before, it's beginning. You're the two guys that I heard about that heckle from the box, huh? There they are ladies and gentlemen. Take a good look at them. Starski &amp; Crutch. Now don't start with me boys, don't start...
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Hey, Berle!
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': What?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': You know what? I've just figured out your style.
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Really?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': You work like [[w:Gregory Peck|Gregory Peck]].
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Gregory Peck's not a comedian.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Well?
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Now just a minute, please. I have been a successful comedian half of my life.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': How come we got this half?
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Look, did you two come in here to be entertained or not?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': That's right.
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': What's right?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': We came in here to be entertained, and we're not!
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Oh, yeah? I'd like to see you come down here and be funny.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': You first!
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': &quot;Ha, ha, ha&quot;, the audience! &quot;Ha, ha, ha&quot;! Don't pay any attention to him, folks. He's the ninth child of a family of eight! Let me tell the story.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Hey, hey, Berle!
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Ohhh... Yeah, what is it? What is it?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': You know what you're doing wrong?
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': What'm I doing wrong?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': You're standing too close to the audience.
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Oh, yeah? ''[steps back]'' How is this?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': You're still too close.
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Oh, sorry. ''[steps back more]'' Is this okay?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': No, a little more.
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': How far back do you want me to go?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': You got a car?
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Let me tell you something: If you don't stop, I'll have the usher throw you out!
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': He can't. He's too busy.
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Doing what?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Keeping people in!
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': ''[to the audience]'' And you're encouraging them! That's what you're doing! ''[to Statler and Waldorf]'' You know, I got a good mind to punch you in your nose.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Please, not while I'm holding it.
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': That's very funny.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Ah, you can use it.
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': I don't need your material, pal. I got a million funny lines in the back of my head.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Yeah? How come they never reach your mouth?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Hey, how's it going, Mr. Berle?
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Oh, I'm gonna start with you, now. &quot;How's it going?&quot; It's going terribly. It's going -- these guys have been picking on me, insulting me, ever since I started.
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Well, could I help you out?
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Please, huh?
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Which way did you came in?
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': ''[grabs Gonzo by the nose and pushes him aside]'' Get outta here! I've had it, I've had it! Here we go AGAIN!!

===[[w:Rich Little|Rich Little]] [2.04]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': A tap-dancing chicken act? Gonzo, I've never heard of anything as ridiculous as a dancing chicken.
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': How about a talking frog?

===[[w:Judy Collins|Judy Collins]] [2.05]===
:'''J.P.''': ''[on the phone]'' Yeah, well, sell the hotel on Pennsylvania Avenue, buy all your railroads, and don't forget the 200 dollars, and let him go straight to jail.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Sam the Eagle|Sam the Eagle]]''': ''[approaches the podium for the announcement]'' I just wanted to know that following that last piece of material, I am disassociating myself from this whole, weird, SICK show! ''[to somebody]'' What do I do? ''[leaves the podium]''

===[[w:Nancy Walker|Nancy Walker]] [2.06]===
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Hey, Fozzie, what is on stage next?
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': I don't know, what's on stage now?
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Nothing.
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': NOTHING'S ON STAGE?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Before we go, We will like to thank tonight's special guest star, Miss Nancy (ACHOOO!)
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie Bear]]''': Awww, you blew it, too. It's Nancy Walker.

===[[Edgar Bergen]] [2.07]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': You have to treat the chickens pretty well, because they've got a very tough union.

===[[Steve Martin]] [2.08]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': ''[depressing]'' Thank you. And welcome to a very moment here on The Muppet Show. I am sorry but I got some bad news to tell you.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Maybe we came at last.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Maybe the show has been cancelled.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Tonight's show has been cancelled.
:''[Both Statler and Waldorf were shocked]''
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Have I died and gone to Heaven?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Well, you see, I just misread my calendar. The show has been cancelled tonight, because we are opening auditions for new acts. You are welcome to see it, but I don't think there will any excitements.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]:''' ''[to Kermit, off-screen]'' Should we stay or Should we go?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': ''[to Statler and Waldorf]'' Why don't you two take the night off? ''[to the entire audience]'' Well, we might as well bring up the house lights and say good night to everybody.
:''[The audiences leaves in disappointment]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Listen, it's very healthy to see what other people in the field are doing. And it is an enriching experience.
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': Yeah.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Hey, Scooter, what's next?
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': Oh, it's a guy named Lenny the Lizard. And he's an emcee.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': What the hey?

===[[Madeline Kahn]] [2.09]===
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Well, she's nothing like you at all. She is beautiful, and she's got this cute little nose... ''[sniffs]'' and she's intelligent... ''[sniffs]'' and talented...

===[[George Burns]] [2.10]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': I'm sorry, but we don't allow any reporters backstage during the show.
:'''Fleet''': What a headline! Muppet's Bad Press: Reporter Thrown Out By A Frog!
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Now, wait! On the other hand, can I offer you a cup of coffee?
:'''Fleet''': What a headline! Frog Bribes Reporter: Muppet's Desperate For Publicity!

===[[w:Dom DeLuise|Dom DeLuise]] [2.11]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': I mean, you know, if you can afford to pay off the audience, and buy all those flowers, and the fur, and the mail, and all that stuff...

===[[w:Bernadette Peters|Bernadette Peters]] [2.12]===
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': ''[after Miss Mousey's number]'' Boo! Hiss! Terrible! I hated it!
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Really? I kind of liked it.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Well, the pig doesn't have you in a hammerlock! Boo!

===[[Rudolf Nureyev]] [2.13]===
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth|Dr. Teeth]]''': Hey, hey, what's this bummer called again?
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd]]''': Minuet in G Major.
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth|Dr. Teeth]]''': Uh, we'll send it back in to the minors.

===[[Elton John]] [2.14]===
:'''[[w:Link Hogthrob|Link Hogthrob]]''': At least we could have brought a TV set. I'm missing all of my favorite bowling shows.
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': You and your bowling shows! He cries at the sad parts.
:''[Alarm went off on the control deck]''
:'''[[w:Link Hogthrob|Link Hogthrob]]''': What does that red light mean?
:'''[[w:Dr. Julius Strangepork|Dr. Julius Strangepork]]''': Well, The red light means stop, The green light means go, and the yellow light means....
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': No! No! No! Not traffic light, That light on the control panel.
:'''[[w:Dr. Julius Strangepork|Dr. Julius Strangepork]]''': Oh, That light. Well, That means we are invaded by alien beings.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': We're look like members of the rock age!
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': We're look more like members of the Stone Age! ''[Both laugh]''

===[[w:Lou Rawls|Lou Rawls]] [2.15]===
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper]]''': Oh, no, you couldn't take Animal on any long road trips, Lou.
:'''[[w:Lou Rawls|Lou]]''': Why not, man? The cat is good.
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper]]''': No, you couldn't get a long enough chain!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Fozzie has fallen off the stage]''
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': He was doing okay until he fell off the stage.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Wrong. He was doing okay until he ''came on'' the stage.

===[[w:Cleo Laine|Cleo Laine]] [2.16]===
:'''[[w:Link Hogthrob|Link Hogthrob]]''': First Mate Miss Piggy.
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': Er, yes, sir!
:'''[[w:Link Hogthrob|Link Hogthrob]]''': Did you shave this morning?

===[[Julie Andrews]] [2.17]===
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': ''[to the cow]'' Wow, you have got a great pair of legs! In fact, she's got two great pairs of legs!

===[[w:Jaye P. Morgan|Jaye P. Morgan]] [2.18]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': I can't tell you what a thrill it is to have you on this show.
:'''[[w:Jaye P. Morgan|Jaye P.]]''': Oh, thank you, Kermit. Nice of you to say so. I'd like to say I'm really indifferent about being here.

===[[Peter Sellers]] [2.19]===
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': Kermit! Kermit! Oh, no...the next act couldn't make it, it's been cancelled.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': What? But that was a terrific act! Prunella And Her Prancing Poultry!
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': Yeah. I know, yeah...Kermit, about that poultry, you see, yesterday...the duck hunting season began.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Dr. Bunsen Honeydew|Dr. Bunsen Honeydew]]''': Well, I'm just bubbly with excitement.

===[[Petula Clark]] [2.20]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Uh, ladies and gentlemen, Switzerland has given us some watches, some chocolate, and some silliness. And, we take you now to the Alps for the latter.

===[[Bob Hope]] [2.21]===
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Kermit, cancel my bread impersonation act! They didn't deliver my poppy seeds. You wouldn't want me to walk out there NAKED, would you?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[Bob Hope]]''': Are you ready to the song?
:'''The Talking Horse''': Sure, Why not!
:'''[[Bob Hope]]''': Yeah, But wait a minute. We are in the middle of the desert. And where is the music coming from?
:'''The Talking Horse''': Well, There is a tape deck in the saddle.
:'''[[Bob Hope]]''': (Ejects the cassette from the tape deck, and reads at the audio cassette) (To the audience) Stereophonic horse! (Puts the cassette back into the tape deck)

===[[w:Teresa Brewer|Teresa Brewer]] [2.22]===
:'''First Mate [[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': All right, that does it! I refuse to continue this sketch, did you hear me?
:'''Capt. [[w:Link Hogthrob|Link Hogthrob]]''': Sketch? What sketch? This is the Swinetrek, we're lost in endless space!
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': This is a cheap-shot comedy sketch, and I'll lay you odds the frog wrote it!

===[[John Cleese]] [2.23]===
:'''[[John Cleese]]''': I'd be Long John Silverstine! Deadliest pirate of the seven seas!
:'''[[w:Link Hogthrob|Link]]''': You can't be a pirate!
:'''[[John Cleese]]''': Of course I'm a pirate! I have a hat, a parrot and a hook. What else should I be? A management consultant?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Parrot''': You don't love me any more.
:'''[[John Cleese]]''': Of course I love you. I'm working now!
:'''Parrot''': And you're making a lousy job of it.
:'''[[John Cleese]]''': ''[pulling a gun]'' You wanna be [[Monty Python's Flying Circus|an ex-parrot]]?

===[[Cloris Leachman]] [2.24]===
:'''[[Cloris Leachman|Cloris]]''': All right then, I'll spell it out for you. You are a pig. P-I-G. You are not a frog. F-R-O-G. No, you are not a frog, and nothing that you say will ever convince me that you a frog. Nothing!
:'''Kermit the Pig''': Ribbit? Ribbit, rib-bit?
:'''[[Cloris Leachman|Cloris]]''': Oh, Kermit, it is you!

==Season 3 (1978-1979)==

===[[Kris Kristofferson]] &amp; [[w:Rita Coolidge|Rita Coolidge]] [3.01]===
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Gladys, what's the soup du jour?
:'''Gladys''': Same as yesterday.
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Good, I'll have that and a chicken.
:'''Gladys''': How do you want your chicken? Baked, broiled, or barbecued?
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': I want the chicken for company! I hate dining alone.

===[[w:Leo Sayer|Leo Sayer]] [3.02]===
:'''Annie Sue''': ''[to Miss Piggy]'' I never thought it could happen. I've been an admirer of yours ever since I was a little baby, you know?

===[[w:Roy Clark|Roy Clark]] [3.03]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': What's all this smoke?
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': Uh... that is not smoke.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': It is not smoke? Then what is it?
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': It's jet exhaust.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Jet exhaust?
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': Oh, look out! Here comes another one!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': ''[to the stage hands in the rafters]'' Hey, somebody kill that light!
:''[Machine gun fire is heard as he turns his back. At the same time that a spotlight drops down, Scooter turns behind him in surprise]''

===[[Gilda Radner]] [3.04]===
:'''[[Gilda Radner|Gilda]]''': ''[to Bunsen]'' Well, do you see. I don't mind assisting, but I'm not crazy about the idea of guinea-pigging.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kermit''': Now I'm stuck on you! 
:'''Miss Piggy''': Oh, at last, my frog wants me! Oh, thank you! ''[She notices he's literally stuck on her]'' Oh... Oh... Will you let... Will you — Get away from me! What is this?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''':: Good night!
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': So long!
:''[Their hands are stuck in the handrail]''
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler and Waldorf]]''': (in unison) OH NO!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wayne''': Sorry I was late. I had to change the bus across town, and the traffic was terrible.
:'''Miss Piggy''': Never mind. Just get me out of here.
:'''Wayne''': ''[noticing Uncle Deadly's boots]'' Say, I know those boots. Weren't you a flamenco dancer in Kansas City?
:'''Uncle Deadly''': Why yes, I was.
:'''Wayne''': Harry's Boom Boom Room?
:'''Uncle Deadly''': You caught my act? 
:'''Wayne''': I could never figure out how you did that passé double thing, though.
:'''Miss Piggy''': ''Paso doble''.
:'''Uncle Deadly''': Oh, quite simple, my boy. Quite simple. Music, maestro, please.
:'''Miss Piggy''': Music?! ''[Uncle Deadly starts to dance. Miss Piggy turns to the camera in disbelief. Uncle Deadly's feet come dangerously close to her hands]'' What? Hey, hey. Cool it up there.
:'''Uncle Deadly''': Now to the Passionato del Thunderdoor, you give it an extra little flourish.
:'''Miss Piggy''': Watch it!
:'''Wayne''': ''[to Uncle Deadly]'' Aha! You mean like this? ''[He starts dancing as well]''
:'''Miss Piggy''': Whoo-hoo, hee-ha, hold it. Easy! Down, boy. Hold it. Hoo, hey. Cool it.
:'''Uncle Deadly''': Almost, almost. No, more like... ''[He shows Wayne the dance again. Wayne joins in]''
:'''Miss Piggy''': Hey! Hey! Hey, Deadly... Hey, wait, hey. ''[Wayne steps on Piggy's hands, causing her to lose her grip and fall off the cliff screaming. Uncle Deadly and Wayne congratulate each other on their dancing]'' I suppose you think that's funny!

===[[Pearl Bailey]] [3.05]===
:'''[[w:Janice (muppet)|Janice]]''': I mean, you know, Kermit, sometimes I don't know what space you are coming from.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Well, it's just a regular backstage space.

===[[w:Jean Stapleton|Jean Stapleton]] [3.06]===
:'''[[w:Jean Stapleton|Jean Stapleton]]''': It's about this next number - I would really rather not do it.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': What, you mean the number with the pigs dressed as pirates, and the chickens playing some bagpipes, and you dancing with a 7-foot door knob?
:'''[[w:Jean Stapleton|Jean Stapleton]]''': Hmm. It's just one cliche after another.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': I liked that last number.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': What did you like about it?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': It was the LAST number! ''[they both laugh]''

===[[Alice Cooper]] [3.07]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Boy, it wasn't spooky like this when [[Julie Andrews]] did the show!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Sam the Eagle|Sam the Eagle]]''': ''[enters Alice's dressing room]'' Mr. Cooper.
:'''[[w:Alice Cooper|Alice Cooper]]''': ''[turns to face Sam with his heavy metal makeup on his face]'' Yes?
:'''[[w:Sam the Eagle|Sam the Eagle]]''': ''[horrified]'' Oh, good grief! Let me come right to the point. You, sir, are a demented, sick, degenerate, barbaric, naughty...freako!
:'''[[w:Alice Cooper|Alice Cooper]]''': ''[flattered]'' Why, thank you!
:'''[[w:Sam the Eagle|Sam the Eagle]]''': ''[ashamed of this reaction]'' Freakos: one, civilization: zero. ''[leaves Alice Cooper behind]''

===[[Loretta Lynn]] [3.08]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Gonzo, I should never have let you talk me into doing the show from a railroad depot.
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': But it was the only place available! They were having a tournament at the bowling alley.

===[[w:Liberace|Liberace]] [3.09]===
:'''Door Guard''': Liberace uses no chickens in his concert.
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Oh, then maybe he'll see me.
:'''Guard''': He's only seeing birds.
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': I'm a bird. Yeah, I am a, I am a turkey.
:'''Guard''': You are not a real turkey.
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Are you kidding? Have you seen my act?

===[[w:Marisa Berenson|Marisa Berenson]] [3.10]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': I just want to know more about this wedding sketch, I mean. I've got to learn my lines, Piggy.
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Well.. you only have one line.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': I do?
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Exactly.

:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Do it!

===[[Raquel Welch]] [3.11]===
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': You see, my problem was my need to tell jokes.
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper]]''': Yeah! And that was our problem, too! ''[laughs]''

===[[w:James Coco|James Coco]] [3.12]===
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': You know, I really like the water.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Oh, I am glad.
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Which means, after we're married, we can live at your place.

===[[Helen Reddy]] [3.13]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Hey Beau, I've got a job for you!
:'''[[w:Beauregard (Muppet)|Beauregard]]''': Oh, good.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Yeah. Just look at this mess.
:'''[[w:Beauregard (Muppet)|Beauregard]]''': Okay, that sounds easy enough.

===[[Harry Belafonte]] [3.14]===
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': ''[handing Rowlf a script]'' Hey, guys, guys – here is the musical moment for this week.
:'''[[w:Rowlf the Dog|Rowlf the Dog]]''': Uh... ''[reading]'' Curtains open. Lew Zealand and Rowlf do something funny. Curtains close.
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': Go get them!
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': And we leave nothing to chance, huh?
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': Trust me.

===[[w:Lesley Ann Warren|Lesley Ann Warren]] [3.15]===
:'''[[w:Lesley Ann Warren|Lesley]]''': You know, Kermit, I thought you were the only person on this show who wasn't crazy.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Me, not crazy? I hired the others.

===[[w:Leslie Uggams|Leslie Uggams]]/[[w:Big Bird|Big Bird]][3.18]===
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Holy maracas!
:'''[[w:Big Bird|Big Bird]]''': Oh, hi. I'm Big Bird.
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Huh. No kidding.
:'''[[w:Big Bird|Big Bird]]''': I'm a friend of Kermit's.
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Oh.
:'''[[w:Big Bird|Big Bird]]''': Yeah, we both come from the same neighborhood. Sesame Street.
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''':: Oh. Isn't that that cute little children's show with puppets?
:'''[[w:Big Bird|Big Bird]]''': Uh-huh. And who are you?
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Who am I? I am Miss Piggy.
:'''[[w:Big Bird|Big Bird]]''': Oh. Well, do you work around here?
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Uh, listen, yellow thing. Do you see that star here?
:'''[[w:Big Bird|Big Bird]]''': Oh, yes. It's very pretty.
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': And, uh, do you know why it is there?
:'''[[w:Big Bird|Big Bird]]''': Well, uh... Perfect attendance?
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': I am the singing star of this show.
:'''[[w:Big Bird|Big Bird]]''': A singing pig? That's very funny! ''[laughs]''
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Kiss your feathers goodbye, bird! Hai-ya! ''[swings at Big Bird, but he doubles over and she misses and falls]''
:'''[[w:Big Bird|Big Bird]]''': Oh, you do acrobatics, too. ''[To the audience]'' She's very versatile.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Have we ever said that this show is for the birds?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Yes, and we'll keep saying it until it gets a laugh.

===[[w:Elke Sommer|Elke Sommer]] [3.19]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Thank you, Thank you, And welcome again to The Muppet Show. And we have great show because our guest star is on our favorite German actress, Mrs. Elke Sommer. But before we get to her, Ladies and Gentlemen: Bobby Benson's Baby Band!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Martha''': George, wake up! I think I hear prowlers.
:'''George''': Oh Martha, go back to sleep.

===[[Sylvester Stallone]] [3.20]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Welcome to The Muppet Show. We have great show tonight, Because our special guest star a famous director, screen writer, and the star of the popular movie called ''[[Rocky]]'', [[Sylvester Stallone]].
:''[A group teenage girls jumps to the stage]''
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': ''[To the girls]'' GET OUT OF THERE! ''[To the audience]'' Sorry about that, folks. Now anyways, We will like to start with a little Hawaiian number.
:'''One of the teenaged girl''': Is Sylvester going to wear a Hawaiian skirt?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': ''[To the girl]'' NO! HE IS NOT IN THE OPENING NUMBER! Please get back to seat. Uh, Curtains.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[Sylvester Stallone]]''': (gasps) Birdie? Is that you? It is you. Oh. You came back to me. Hey, everybody. Let's change that tone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[Sylvester Stallone]]''': Wow. I have a bird. Everyone, this is Birdie. Birdie, this is everyone. Isn't she cute?
:(they touched their noses)
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler and Waldorf]]''': You're my best friend!
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': Animal reunion.
:'''[[Sylvester Stallone]]''': Gonzo, this is Birdie.
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': Wow, a real bird. So nice to have you here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[Customer]]''': (laughing, stiffing)
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Okay, Well, The time has come to say goodbye. Because we don't have much else to say.
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': And if you're worried about Fozzie. Rest assure, he is scared.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': But before we go, let's have one last round of applause for the one and only, Sylvester Stallone!
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': And his pet Birdie!
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''':  YAYYYYYYYYYY!
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': Yippee!
:'''[[Sylvester Stallone]]''': Oh, thank you, Gonzo. Birdie thanks you too. Well, Kermit. I had a wonderful time. And Birdie came back. I only hope I didn't hurt the talking punching bag.
:'''The Punching Bag''': Hey, what hurt? Come on, Stallone, give us one for old time's sake.
:'''[[Sylvester Stallone]]''': OK. [He punches the punching bag]
:'''The Punching Bag''': (chuckles) Hey, Stallone, that's my kind of guy.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Okay. That's it for now.
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': Thank you again for telling me.
:'''[[Sylvester Stallone]]''': Thanks for seeing Birdie. You made me the happiest star of all.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': We'll see you next time on The Muppet Show! You all have been a wonderful laugh track.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Well, they say all good things come to an end.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': What's that got to do with this show?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler and Waldorf]]''': (chuckles)

===[[w:Roger Miller|Roger Miller]] [3.21]===
:''[Statler &amp; Waldorf chuckling]''
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': I bet you were expecting chickens.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Woof Woof Woof!
:''[Statler &amp; Waldorf laugh]''
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Woof Woof!
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Woof Woof!

===[[w:Roy Rogers|Roy Rogers]] and [[w:Dale Evans|Dale Evans]] [3.22]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Usually at this time, I would have said good night to the audience, But do you mind if you can say it, Your way?
:'''[[w:Roy Rogers|Roy Rogers]]''': Oh I'll be glad too. ''[To the audience]'' Until we again, on screen, or in person, Good night and good luck, and make good lord liking you.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': We'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!

===[[w:Cheryl Ladd|Cheryl Ladd]] [3.24]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Uh, Gonzo, that is terrible! I'm not going to introduce you for a crummy act like that!
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': Sic 'em!
:...
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': O.K! O.K! O.K! O.K! I'll introduce him.
:'''Chicken''': Meow!!
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Ungh! And now, here he is, ladies and gentlemen, uh, your one and you're welcome to him, Gonzo the Great! Off, off, off, off, off!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': Thank you! Thank you! And now, students of the occult, I shall demonstrate my amazing, powers of hypnosis. I shall place a member of the audience in a chance, aided only by the mysterious strength of hypnotic suggestion. My subject would support with only one hand, this 5000 pound weight. Who will the 1st, lucky volunteer? It's just a question of mind over matter.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': That's right! You don't mind and we don't matter!
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': You'll live to regret this!
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': We intend to.
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': But I just do not understand, you people! Immortality is out for grahams! But you don't deserve it!
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': No, but you do!
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': What a terrific idea! I'll hypnotize myself. I'll go down in history! Ahem. Look deep into my eyes! Make my mind a complete blank. My eye-lids are getting heavy. I am falling into my power. When I count 3, I will have the strength of an army! 1, 2, 3! Release the ropes!
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': That's very impressive! But how do you get out of it?
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': It's simple. I just snap my fingers! Ungh! Hey, Kermit, it went terrific!

==Season 4 (1979-1980)==

===[[w:Shields and Yarnell|Shields and Yarnell]] [4.3]===
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Just when you think the show is terrible, something wonderful happens.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': What?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': It ends. ''[Both laugh]''

===[[Dudley Moore]] [4.7]===
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': Oh Dudley, Dudley Moore, Fifteen seconds to Curtain, Mr. Moore!
:'''[[Dudley Moore]]''': (As he tries to tune his piano) Thank you, Scooter. But you see, I am having a bit a trouble getting this piano tuned. Can you give me an A?
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': Sure, Easy! ''[Uses a hand gun to shoot at the ceiling and it reveals the letter A!]''

===[[Liza Minnelli]] [4.9]===
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': ''[Statler and Waldorf are in prison uniforms in a prison cell in the balcony]'' How long are we here for?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Twenty years.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': If I'd known that judge was giving us the box, I'd have asked for the chair. ''[Both laugh]''

===[[Kenny Rogers]] [4.10]===
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler and Waldorf]]''': ''[singing]'' Why don't they make things funny?

===[[w:Dizzy Gillespie|Dizzy Gillespie]] [4.13]===
:'''Waldorf''': Statler isn't here tonight, Kermit! He's sick!
:'''Kermit''': Oh, that's too bad. The flu?
:'''Waldorf''': No, the show! He's sick of it! (laughs)
:'''Kermit''': Well, uh, don't get lonely up there, okay?
:'''Waldorf''': Not much chance of that. My wife is using Statler's ticket. She's just powdering her nose.
:'''Kermit''': No kidding. I've always wanted to meet your wife.
:''[Astoria, a woman who looks exactly like Statler, appears in the box]''
:'''Astoria''': I thought the show had started! Who's the frog?
:'''Waldorf''': That's Kermit, dear.
:'''Kermit''': What's your wife's name, Waldorf?
:'''Waldorf''': Astoria!

===[[w:Jonathan Winters|Jonathan Winters]] [4.16]===
:'''[[w:Beauregard (Muppet)|Beauregard]]''': It's almost time for the closing number. I'll let you know.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Beauregard (Muppet)|Beauregard]]''': Boy, that Old Gypsy Lady gave me a great introduction for the closing number, now I get to take over from here. (clears his throat) Now let's thank our guest star, the king of comedy genius, Jonathan Winters! YAY!
:'''[[w:Jonathan Winters|Jonathan Winters]]''': Thank you, Beauregard. I have never so felt alive before, it was a nice Svensky.
:'''[[w:Beauregard (Muppet)|Beauregard]]''': That's it for now. I'll see you next time on The Muppet Show.

===[[Mark Hamill]] [4.17]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Well folks, our own Scooter has prepared an act for us. He can't play very well, but he's worked very hard on this, and after listening to Mark and Angus Gershwin Gargling, anything should sound good.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Do you think there's life in outer space?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': There's certainly none in this theater. ''[both laugh]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kermit''': What do you do, Mark?
:'''[[Mark Hamill]]''': ''[imitating Kermit]'' Oh, uh, well, you know, I've been known to do impressions. Yaaay!
:'''Kermit''': Mm-hm. Who do you do? ''[Mark looks perplexed]''

===[[Christopher Reeve]] [4.18]===
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Well, this has been an evening to remember.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Why?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': I forgot. ''[Both laugh]''

===[[w:Lynda Carter|Lynda Carter]] [4.19]===
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': Lynda Carter, Lynda Carter?
:'''[[w:Lynda Carter|Lynda Carter]]''': I know, I know, 20 seconds to curtains.
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': WOW! You can read my mind!
:'''[[w:Lynda Carter|Lynda Carter]]''': No! I am reading the script.
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': No! Kermit wouldn't allow a script.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Holy guacamole! This looks like a job for Wonder Pig!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': How come chickens are getting so big on this show?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Well, chickens thrive on corn. [both laugh and clucking]

===[[w:Andy Williams|Andy Williams]] [4.22]===
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': I'm going to see my lawyer!
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Why?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': I'm going to find out if you can sue a show for breach of taste!

===[[Diana Ross]] [4.24]===
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie Bear]]''':'' [running on-stage]'' Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! ''[the crowd boos loudly at him; runs off-stage]'' Bye-a! Bye-a! Bye-a! Bye-a!
:''[Waldorf holds up a score card that says &quot;1&quot;]''
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': You gave him a one?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': He's never been better.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator''': Is this the end of ''Pigs in Space''?
:'''Audience''': YES!
:'''Narrator''': Then tune in next time for another....
:'''Audience''': NO!
:'''Narrator''': All right, then, don't. See if I care.

==Season 5 (1980-1981)==

===[[w:Loretta Swit|Loretta Swit]] [5.1]===
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': Congratulations, Kermit.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': On what?
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': That photographer from Tongue Magazine. You and Miss Piggy are being secretly married down in Las Vegas.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': ''[Gasp and shocked]'' Piggy, PIGGY?!?
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Yes, mon cheri?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Piggy, have you been planting items about us in the gossip  papers again?
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Um, well... what would make you think a thing like that?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': That photographer who was just here. He was from Tongue Magazine.
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Oh. Well, it was just a teeny tiny item.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': IT WAS A COVER STORY, ABOUT US BEING SECRETLY MARRIED!
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': It's just a slight exaggeration.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': THAT'S A BOLD-FACE LIE, PIGGY!!! I WILL NOT STAND AROUND WHEN YOU DO DUMB THINGS LIKE THAT! YOU HAVE DONE TOO ME TO MANY TIMES, PIGGY. I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT! NO, I WON'T STAND FOR IT!
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Then what are going to do?!?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': I WILL TELL YOU WHAT I AM GOING TO DO, PIGGY! I AM GOING TO &quot;FIRE&quot; YOU! PIGGY, YOU ARE FIRED! YOU ARE FIRED, PIGGY! YOU ARE FIRED, FIRED! ''[Takes deep breaths from his meltdown]''
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': You're kidding.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': I am not kidding!
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': But I am supposed be in the next number.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': I will and I can. ''[To the intercom]'' Please, Cancel the next number. Bring in the snores chorus on stage.
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': You can't fire me. I am actress, model.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': YOU CAN BE REPLACED, YOU KNOW.
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': BOSS, The Snorers are putting the audience to sleep.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Alright, I'll introduce Loretta, then. SNORERS, GET OFF THE STAGE!!!
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': They can't fire me.
:'''One of the snorers''': I don't know, I was sleeping all the time.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': AND NOW ''[Calmly]'' And now ladies and gentlemen, here is our special guest star, Miss Loretta Swit! YAYYYYYYYY!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Loretta Swit|Loretta Swit]]''': Who going to take over the talent, and one verb?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Well, In Vet's Hospital, I wonder if you can be in it?
:'''[[w:Loretta Swit|Loretta Swit]]''': ''[Goes hyper as she lets go of Miss Piggy]'' I'D LOVE TO!
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Oh, Good.
:'''[[w:Loretta Swit|Loretta Swit]]''': Do you think the uniform will fit.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Oh yes, Anybody can do that.
:'''Tongue Magazine Photographer''': Uh, Piggy. Do you work here?
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': HAI-YAH! (Kicks the photographer)

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Link Hogthrob|Captain Link Hogthrob]]''': HELP! WE BEEN ATTACKED BY A LITTLE GREEN MONSTER!!!
:'''[[w:Dr. Julius Strangepork|Doctor Julius Strangepork]]''': It's worse than that, We got two First Mate Piggies!

===[[w:Tony Randall|Tony Randall]] [5.13]===
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie Bear]]''': Boy, you sure are heavy. You must least weighed a ton.
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd]]''': Well, that's good. That means she's lost weight! ''[laughs]''
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie Bear]]''': Floyd, you shouldn't laugh at Piggy. I mean, she must be terrified.
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd]]''': Terrified? She's petrified! ''[laughs]''
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Hey, great news, Miss Piggy! You'll be back to normal in no time. I just got this new book called, &quot;Sandblasting Without Pain&quot;! ''[laughs]''
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd]]''': Hey, hey, Gonzo!
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Yeah?
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd]]''': Yeah! Did you know that Miss Piggy is very worried about Kermit?
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Worried about Kermit? Why?
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd]]''': Well, she's afraid that she'll have to take him for granite! ''[laughs]''
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': OK. OK, guys. Enough with these big cheap shots.
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd]]''': Aw, come on! I've got another page to go yet.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Floyd, how could you be so cruel to a fellow performer? Someone you've known and work with for years. I mean, just take a look at her. She's suffered enough. Have pity upon her.
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': ''[affectionally]'' Mmmmmmmm.
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd]]''': Oh, you're right. Well, what will I do with these jokes?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Burn them. ''[leaves to the stage]''
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd]]''': ''[to Miss Piggy]'' You heard what the frog said. ''[strikes a match on her]''
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': ''[painfully]'' '''MMMMMMMMMM!!!!!'''
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd]]''': ''[laughs]''

===[[w:Mac Davis|Mac Davis]] [5.14]===
:''[Beaker comes up to Piggy and babbles]''
:'''Miss Piggy''': Beaker, I told you never to talk to me like that! ''[Beaker exhales heavily and walks off]'' Because I can't understand it.
----
:'''[[w:Dr. Bunsen Honeydew|Dr. Bunsen Honeydew]]''': ''[After getting clones of Beakers on his copying machine]'' I've only got one thing to say! '''HELLLLLLLLP! HELLLLLLLLLLLLP!!''' ''[Runs in a panic attack]''

===[[w:Carol Burnett|Carol Burnett]] [5.15]===
:'''[[w:Carol Burnett|Carol Burnett]]''': Kermit, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but this is one of the three worst shows I've ever seen.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': What were the other two?
:'''[[w:Carol Burnett|Carol Burnett]]''': There are no other two; I was just being kind.

===[[w:Gladys Knight|Gladys Knight]] [5.16]===
:''[During the Opening number]''
:'''Archeologist''': Look at them, I think they're glad to see us.
:'''Sacarogi''': When you've been stood up for 4,000 years, you're glad to see ''anybody''!

===[[w:Hal Linden|Hal Linden]] [5.17]===
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Well, It looks like time's running out for us.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Yeah, And for the show, too.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': So, Let's bring back our wonderful special guest star, Mr. Hal Linden!
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': ''[As he goes on Stage]'' YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
:'''[[w:Hal Linden|Hal Linden]]''': Oh, Kermit. It's good to see you!
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': It sure is.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Yeah, Tonight was a disaster.
:'''[[w:Hal Linden|Hal Linden]]''': Has it really?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Gee, I thought that was a terrific show.
:'''[[w:Hal Linden|Hal Linden]]''': What are you talking about? There was a lot of confusions and chaos, and a lot of running around like mindless maniacs....
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie Bear]]''': Yeah, Like any good Muppet Show!
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': And Hal, You're a big part of it.
:'''[[w:Hal Linden|Hal Linden]]''': Oh, Good. I am glad I fit right in.
:''[Everybody laughs]''
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Well, Kermit. The show is all yours. We are going back to our seats in the box and stay there. ''[exits the stage]''
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': We didn't know how tough it was down here. From now on, we promise never to say a bad thing about this show again! ''[exits the stage]''.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Oh, good! We'll see you again next time on ''The Muppet Show''.
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie Bear]]''': Bye!

===[[Marty Feldman]] [5.18]===
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': How should we know how to get to [[Sesame Street]]?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': We don't even know how to get out of this stupid theater box!

===[[Debbie Harry]] [5.20]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': You left out one rainbow song!
:'''[[Debbie Harry]]''': I did? Which one?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': My rainbow song!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mrs. Appleby''': Mr. Frog. My boys just did your show, and we never negotiated a deal.

===[[Gene Kelly]] [5.24]===
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': When will we get there?
:'''[[w:Dr. Julius Strangepork|Dr. Julius Strangepork]]''': In about 1 minute from, NOW!
:''[We see a timer at the bottom of the screen]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''News Anchor''': [As he interrupts the Pigs in Space sketch] And now, A Muppet News Flash. Probably the greatest news story in history. The meaning and purpose of life has just been announced as follow [He looks at the wrong message] Wait a minute. That's the wrong one. Hmm, I had it here a minute a go. Where is it? The meaning of purpose of life? Hmmm [To a crew member] HOW COULD I KEEP TRACK OF THINGS WHEN YOU'RE ALWAYS STRAIGHTENING OUT MY DESK?!?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Beauregard (Muppet)|Beauregard]]''': You are trying to make me feel better. But I know, THE END IS NEAR!!!
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': UH, NO! THE END IS NOW! ''[To the audience)]'' We'll see you next time on ''The Muppet Show''!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Are you ready for the end of the world?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Sure! It couldn't be any worse than this show!

===[[w:Glenda Jackson|Glenda Jackson]]===
:'''Kermit''': The show must not go on... because I quit! I give up! Our guest star's a pirate, the theater's sailing out to sea and I'm losing my mind!

==Theme Song==
'''Season 1'''
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': It's The Muppet Show, with our (very) special guest topic/star(s), Mr./Ms. (insert guest star name)!&lt;br&gt;'''Females''': It's time to play the music&lt;br&gt;It's time to light the lights&lt;br&gt;It's time to meet the Muppets&lt;br&gt;On The Muppet Show tonight.&lt;br&gt;'''Males''': It's time to put on makeup&lt;br&gt;It's time to dress up right&lt;br&gt;It's time to raise the curtain&lt;br&gt;On The Muppet Show tonight.&lt;br&gt;''[Fozzie'' ''tells a different joke each week]''&lt;br&gt;'''Kermit''': To introduce our guest star&lt;br&gt;That's what I'm here to do.&lt;br&gt;So it really makes me happy&lt;br&gt;To introduce to you...&lt;br&gt;(insert guest star name)!&lt;br&gt;But now let's get things started...&lt;br&gt;'''Cast''': On the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational!&lt;br&gt;This is what we call The Muppet Show!&lt;br&gt;''[Gonzo strikes gong with different effect each week]''

'''Season 2'''
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': It's The Muppet Show, with our (very) special guest topic/star(s), Mr./Ms. (insert guest star name)!&lt;br&gt;'''Females''': It's time to play the music&lt;br&gt;It's time to light the lights&lt;br&gt;It's time to meet the Muppets&lt;br&gt;On The Muppet Show tonight.&lt;br&gt;'''Males''': It's time to put on makeup&lt;br&gt;It's time to dress up right&lt;br&gt;It's time to get things started
:''(Statler and Waldorf make a different wisecrack each week)''&lt;br&gt;'''Kermit''': It's time to get things started...&lt;br&gt;'''Cast''': On the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational!&lt;br&gt;This is what we call The Muppet Show!&lt;br&gt;''[Gonzo blows trumpet with different effect each week]''

'''Season 3'''
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': It's The Muppet Show, with our (very) special guest topic/star(s), Mr./Ms. (insert guest star name)! (Yaaaaaaaaaay!)&lt;br&gt;'''Females''': It's time to play the music&lt;br&gt;It's time to light the lights&lt;br&gt;It's time to meet the Muppets&lt;br&gt;On The Muppet Show tonight.&lt;br&gt;'''Males''': It's time to put on makeup&lt;br&gt;It's time to dress up right&lt;br&gt;It's time to get things started&lt;br&gt;'''Audience''': Why don't you get things started?
:''(Statler and Waldorf make a different wisecrack each week)''&lt;br&gt;'''Kermit''': It's time to get things started...&lt;br&gt;'''Cast''': On the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational!&lt;br&gt;This is what we call The Muppet Show!&lt;br&gt;''[Gonzo blows trumpet with different effect each week]''

'''Season 4'''
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': It's The Muppet Show, with our (very) special guest star/topic(s) (insert guest star name)! (Yaaaaaaaaaay!)&lt;br&gt;'''Cast''': It's time to play the music&lt;br&gt;It's time to light the lights&lt;br&gt;It's time to get things started&lt;br&gt;'''Audience''': Why don't you get things started?
:''(Statler and Waldorf make a different wisecrack each week)''&lt;br&gt;'''Kermit''': It's time to get things started...&lt;br&gt;'''Cast''': On the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational!&lt;br&gt;This is what we call The Muppet Show!&lt;br&gt;''[Gonzo blows trumpet with different effect each week]''

'''Season 5'''
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': It's The Muppet Show, with our (very) special guest star/topic(s) (insert guest star name)! (Yaaaaaaaaaay!)&lt;br&gt;'''Females''': It's time to play the music&lt;br&gt;It's time to light the lights&lt;br&gt;It's time to meet the Muppets&lt;br&gt;On The Muppet Show tonight.&lt;br&gt;'''Males''': It's time to put on makeup&lt;br&gt;It's time to dress up right&lt;br&gt;It's time to raise the curtain on The Muppet Show tonight!&lt;br&gt;'''Waldorf''': Why do we always come here?&lt;br&gt;'''Statler''': I guess we'll never know.&lt;br&gt;'''Waldorf''': It's like a kind of torture. &lt;br&gt;'''Both''': To have to watch the show!
:&quot;[Animal drum solo and Lips trumpet solo]&quot;&lt;br&gt; '''Cast''': And now let's get things started! &lt;br&gt; '''Audience''': Why don't you get things started?&lt;br&gt;'''Kermit''': It's time to get things started...&lt;br&gt;'''Cast''': On the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational!&lt;br&gt;This is what we call The Muppet Show!&lt;br&gt;''[Gonzo blows trumpet with different effect each week]''

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=0074028|title=The Muppet Show}}
* [http://muppets.go.com The Online Home of Muppet Studios]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Muppet Show, The}}
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:American TV shows featuring puppetry]]
[[Category:UK TV shows featuring puppetry]]
[[Category:ITV shows]]</text>
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      <id>3158721</id>
      <parentid>3158642</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T01:13:23Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
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'''''[[w:The Muppet Show|The Muppet Show]]''''' (1976–1981) was the brainchild of [[ Jim Henson]], and featured [[w:The Muppets|The Muppets]], a group of puppets and costumed characters. The general set up was a &quot;live&quot; variety show hosted by [[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]. Each episode featured several &quot;on stage&quot; sketches, usually starring the week's guest star, interspersed with backstage scenes.

==Season 1 (1976-1977)==

===[[w:Juliet Prowse|Juliet Prowse]]===
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': That's one of the reasons I always thought the Muppets are weird.
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Statler]]''': Why is that?
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': They think explosions are funny. Explosions aren't funny. ''[Statler's cigar explodes]'' ...Although, some of them are really quite droll.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': ''[after Juliet called him &quot;the [[w:Robert Redford|Robert Redford]] of frogs&quot;]'' You're gonna be coming back on this show a LOT! I mean it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Yeah, whadya think?
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Statler]]''': Beats sitting home watching television.
:'''[[w:Mah Nà Mah Nà|Mahna Mahna]]''': Mahna Mahna!

===[[w:Connie Stevens|Connie Stevens]]/[[w:Bert and Ernie|Bert and Ernie]] [1.02]===
:'''[[w:Bert and Ernie|Bert]]''': Ernie... did I make a complete fool of myself?
:'''[[w:Bert and Ernie|Ernie]]''': ''[patting Bert's shoulder]'' Absolutely, Bert.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Statler]]''': Hm. Do you think this show is educational?
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Yes. It'll drive people to read books.

===[[Joel Grey]] [1.03]===
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': Bug off? What kind of joke was that?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': That was no joke, Fozzie.
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': That was my wife!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': More! More!
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Statler]]''': No, not so loud: they may hear you!

===[[w:Ruth Buzzi|Ruth Buzzi]] [1.04]===
:'''Robot Kermit''': Hey, listen, how about you, and me getting together, and making some ''steam'' heat. Huh, snuggle bunny?
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Snuggle bunny? Why, uh...
:'''Robot Kermit''': Yeah. Look, let me take you away from all this. Ah, a marriage made in heaven! A frog and a pig. And we can have bouncing baby figs!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Statler]]''': Well, did you like the show?
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': No I didn't. No I didn't. No I didn't.

===[[Rita Moreno]] [1.05]===
:'''Dancer''': I hear you come from a broken home.
:'''[[w:Animal (muppet)|Animal]]''': Yeah, I broke it myself!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler_%26_Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Yes, uh, well, uhn-huh. I still couldn't find the chewing gum.

===[[w:Jim Nabors|Jim Nabors]] [1.06]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Your salary is 20 a week.
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': Could you make it 25?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Are you kidding? I can't afford it!
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': Gee, my uncle will be really disappointed.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': How about 30?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Pay up, they made it through another one.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Double or nothing on next week's show?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': You're on.

===[[w:Florence Henderson|Florence Henderson]] [1.07]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Can we get back to the subject at hand... Florence?
:'''[[w:Florence Henderson|Florence]]''': Well, there's no question in my mind!
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': ''[after a pause]'' As to what?
:'''[[w:Florence Henderson|Florence]]''': Nothing! There's no question in my mind! Ha ha! No answers either.

===[[Paul Williams (songwriter)|Paul Williams]] [1.08]===
:'''[[w:Janice (muppet)|Janice]]''': That man is annoying me.
:'''[[w:Zoot (muppet)|Zoot]]''': He isn't even looking at you.
:'''[[w:Janice (muppet)|Janice]]''': That's what's annoying me.

===[[w:Charles Aznavour|Charles Aznavour]] [1.09]===
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Hey, Kermit, are you busy?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Yes, Gonzo, but I can give you my ear for a minute.
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': What would I do with your ear?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': ''[exasperated]'' Van Gogh impressions.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gonzo''': You'll all see because there's only one Great Gonzo, only one!
:'''Kermit''': Thank goodness for that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Rowlf the Dog|Dr Bob]]''': This is D for Doc B for Bob saying turn off the Joy Juice ''[laughs then puts gas mask to his left ear]'' Hmm? ''[speaks into it]'' Ten-Roger, OK where were we? Pulse?
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Nurse Piggy]]''': ''[checks pulse and gasps]'' No pulse, Dr. Bob.
:'''[[w:Rowlf the Dog|Dr Bob]]''': Hmmm, Heartbeat?
:'''[[w:Janice (muppet)|Nurse Janice]]''': ''[checks heartbeat]'' No heartbeat, Dr. Bob.
:'''[[w:Rowlf the Dog|Dr Bob]]''': No pulse, no heartbeat, no use. He's gone!
:'''[[w:Janice (muppet)|Nurse Janice]]''': And Dr Bob your record was so good, you saved nine out of ten.
:'''[[w:Rowlf the Dog|Dr Bob]]''': My record is still good, this week he was ten.
:'''Announcer''': And so Dr Bob's record is still good, it is top on the medical fame, with a bullet, tune in next when we will hear nurse Piggy say...
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Nurse Piggy]]''': I hope nobody hears about this Dr. Bob.
:'''[[w:Rowlf the Dog|Dr Bob]]''': At least ''he'' won't say anything, hahaha!
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Nurse Piggy]]''': I get it! haha! I get it! (laughs with him)

===[[w:Harvey Korman|Harvey Korman]] [1.10]===
:'''[[w:Harvey Korman|Harvey Korman]]''': ''[as Maurice the Magnificent]'' Speak. Speak you demon, SPEAK!
:'''Thog''': ''[gulps]'' I hardly know where to begin.

===[[Lena Horne]] [1.11]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Well, Piggy, sometimes, the truth hurts.
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Hurt? I'll show you hurt! HAI-YA! ''[karate-chops Kermit]''

===[[Peter Ustinov]] [1.12]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Okay, okay, good bit, good bit, good ending, and sorry about the head.

===[[w:Bruce Forsyth|Bruce Forsyth]] [1.13]===
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': My cousin is ''so'' dumb, he thinks eggs Benedict is a Mafia gangster!
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': I've seen ''cheeseburgers'' funnier than that!

===[[w:Sandy Duncan|Sandy Duncan]] [1.14]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': ...and so, that means our show tonight will be a real bang up affar-
:'''[[w:Crazy Harry|Crazy Harry]]''': Did somebody say bang?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Uh, no. ''[Gets blown into Statler and Waldorf's box]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': Would you lend me a fiver till pay day? I gotta pay my writer, the legendary 'Gags' Beasley.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': The legendary 'Gags' comes pretty cheap, doesn't he?
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': Well, we worked out a great deal.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': You pay him by the line?
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': No, I pay him by the laugh.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Oh, then he owes you money.

===[[w:Candice Bergen|Candice Bergen]] [1.15]===
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Kermit, dear, did you know that every time we have a beautiful girl on this show, you forget about me?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Yeah, well, we could have a seal act on this show, Piggy, and I might forget about you.

===[[w:Avery Schreiber|Avery Schreiber]] [1.16]===
:'''[[w:Dr. Bunsen Honeydew|Dr. Bunsen Honeydew]]''': Think of the safety. Think of the sense of well-being. And, at last, your family can be protected from the heartbreak of gorilla invasion.

===[[w:Ben Vereen|Ben Vereen]] [1.17]===
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Nurse Piggy]]''': It's too late, Dr. Bob. We've lost him.
:'''[[w:Rowlf the Dog|Doctor Bob]]''': Well, he couldn't have gone so far. He was under the sheet just a second ago.

===[[w:Phyllis Diller|Phyllis Diller]] [1.18]===
:'''[[w:Rowlf the Dog|Rowlf the Dog]]''': You think that's bad? For the first three months of my life there was a newspaper strike!

===[[Vincent Price]] [1.19]===
:'''[[w:Sam the Eagle|Sam the Eagle]]''': If you are like me, and you certainly must be, you are appalled and shocked at the weird, unnatural things going on tonight.

:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': This go-fer's about to become a gone-fer.

===[[w:Valerie Harper|Valerie Harper]] [1.20]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': That was great! And, you are just wonderful, Valerie! I tell you, you are going out on that stage a star, but you are gonna be coming back a chorus girl, right?

===[[Twiggy]] [1.21]===
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': I – I was just in my star's dressing room, and I saw the most ghoulish, fiendish-looking face in the closet!
:'''Hilda''': That was me, clown! And I was hanging up the wardrobe.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Uncle Deadly''': I swore I would never perform here again, nor would anyone else. I will drive you all from this theatre. LEAVE OR BE DOOOOOOOOOMED! ''[He switches to a normal voice]'' Which way do I exit?

===[[Ethel Merman]] [1.22]===
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': ''[giving Ethel roses]'' Miss Merman, from all of us, to you.
:'''[[Ethel Merman|Ethel]]''': Oh, how kind of you, Miss Piggy...they won't explode, will they?

===[[w:Kaye Ballard|Kaye Ballard]] [1.23]===
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper]]''': Me and the gang have decided not to end our gig here.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Oh, good!
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper]]''': ''If''...
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Uh-huh? If what?
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper]]''': If I can write the new theme song.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Oh! Oh, that'll be fine with me.
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper]]''': No, it won't, man.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Uh, why not?
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper]]''': You'll hate my music! You won't understand it!
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Well, now listen here. I-I'm pretty hip too, you know.
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper]]''': Not hip enough. Nobody understands my music. I mean, I don't even understand it.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': You don't?
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper]]''': If I didn't know I was a genius, I wouldn't listen to the trash I write.

===[[w:Mummenschanz|Mummenschanz]] [1.24]===
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': ''[singing while following Miss Piggy]'' She kissed me! She put her arms around me and she kissed me!
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': ''[humiliated]'' It was that case of the mistaken identity!
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Hug me, Miss Piggy! Hold me!
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': I will not hug you, you...twit turkey!
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Oh, hold my hand, pig-of-my-dreams!
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Will you beat it, twerp?!
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Just touch me, oh, hog-of-my-heart!
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Here's a touch for you, wimp-buzzard!
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': I'm ready!
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': HAI-YA! ''[karate-chops Gonzo, and leaves]''
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': ''[singing dazed]'' She touched me...She swung her porky pinkies and she touched me! ''[faints]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': [[w:Miss Piggy|Piggy]], while I appreciate this offer of affection, I hope you will understand when I tell you, as usual, that I do not want you.
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Oh, then can I have her?
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': HAI-YA! ''[standing between Kermit and Gonzo, she karate-chops both of them, one with each hand]'' That is known as getting two turkeys with one chop.

==Season 2 (1977-1978)==

===[[w:Don Knotts|Don Knotts]] [2.01]===
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': I know what is wrong, with this show, it's the theater!
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': What's wrong with it?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': The seats face the stage!

===[[Zero Mostel]] [2.02]===
:'''[[Zero Mostel|Zero]]''': I am not in my dressing room, eating! I am in my dressing room, being eaten!
----
:'''Sam the Eagle''': I think you know why I am here.
:'''Kermit the Frog''': Uh, actually, Sam, to tell you the truth, I've never known why you're here.

===[[Milton Berle]] [2.03]===
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler and Waldorf]]''': Funny, Funny, FUNNY!
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Uh-Huh! Uh-Huh! I heard about them before, it's beginning. You're the two guys that I heard about that heckle from the box, huh? There they are ladies and gentlemen. Take a good look at them. Starski &amp; Crutch. Now don't start with me boys, don't start...
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Hey, Berle!
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': What?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': You know what? I've just figured out your style.
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Really?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': You work like [[w:Gregory Peck|Gregory Peck]].
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Gregory Peck's not a comedian.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Well?
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Now just a minute, please. I have been a successful comedian half of my life.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': How come we got this half?
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Look, did you two come in here to be entertained or not?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': That's right.
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': What's right?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': We came in here to be entertained, and we're not!
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Oh, yeah? I'd like to see you come down here and be funny.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': You first!
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': &quot;Ha, ha, ha&quot;, the audience! &quot;Ha, ha, ha&quot;! Don't pay any attention to him, folks. He's the ninth child of a family of eight! Let me tell the story.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Hey, hey, Berle!
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Ohhh... Yeah, what is it? What is it?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': You know what you're doing wrong?
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': What'm I doing wrong?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': You're standing too close to the audience.
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Oh, yeah? ''[steps back]'' How is this?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': You're still too close.
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Oh, sorry. ''[steps back more]'' Is this okay?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': No, a little more.
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': How far back do you want me to go?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': You got a car?
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Let me tell you something: If you don't stop, I'll have the usher throw you out!
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': He can't. He's too busy.
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Doing what?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Keeping people in!
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': ''[to the audience]'' And you're encouraging them! That's what you're doing! ''[to Statler and Waldorf]'' You know, I got a good mind to punch you in your nose.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Please, not while I'm holding it.
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': That's very funny.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Ah, you can use it.
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': I don't need your material, pal. I got a million funny lines in the back of my head.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Yeah? How come they never reach your mouth?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Hey, how's it going, Mr. Berle?
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Oh, I'm gonna start with you, now. &quot;How's it going?&quot; It's going terribly. It's going -- these guys have been picking on me, insulting me, ever since I started.
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Well, could I help you out?
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': Please, huh?
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Which way did you came in?
:'''[[Milton Berle]]''': ''[grabs Gonzo by the nose and pushes him aside]'' Get outta here! I've had it, I've had it! Here we go AGAIN!!

===[[w:Rich Little|Rich Little]] [2.04]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': A tap-dancing chicken act? Gonzo, I've never heard of anything as ridiculous as a dancing chicken.
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': How about a talking frog?

===[[w:Judy Collins|Judy Collins]] [2.05]===
:'''J.P.''': ''[on the phone]'' Yeah, well, sell the hotel on Pennsylvania Avenue, buy all your railroads, and don't forget the 200 dollars, and let him go straight to jail.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Sam the Eagle|Sam the Eagle]]''': ''[approaches the podium for the announcement]'' I just wanted to know that following that last piece of material, I am disassociating myself from this whole, weird, SICK show! ''[to somebody]'' What do I do? ''[leaves the podium]''

===[[w:Nancy Walker|Nancy Walker]] [2.06]===
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Hey, Fozzie, what is on stage next?
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': I don't know, what's on stage now?
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Nothing.
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': NOTHING'S ON STAGE?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Before we go, We will like to thank tonight's special guest star, Miss Nancy (ACHOOO!)
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie Bear]]''': Awww, you blew it, too. It's Nancy Walker.

===[[Edgar Bergen]] [2.07]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': You have to treat the chickens pretty well, because they've got a very tough union.

===[[Steve Martin]] [2.08]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': ''[depressing]'' Thank you. And welcome to a very moment here on The Muppet Show. I am sorry but I got some bad news to tell you.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Maybe we came at last.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Maybe the show has been cancelled.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Tonight's show has been cancelled.
:''[Both Statler and Waldorf were shocked]''
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Have I died and gone to Heaven?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Well, you see, I just misread my calendar. The show has been cancelled tonight, because we are opening auditions for new acts. You are welcome to see it, but I don't think there will any excitements.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]:''' ''[to Kermit, off-screen]'' Should we stay or Should we go?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': ''[to Statler and Waldorf]'' Why don't you two take the night off? ''[to the entire audience]'' Well, we might as well bring up the house lights and say good night to everybody.
:''[The audiences leaves in disappointment]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Listen, it's very healthy to see what other people in the field are doing. And it is an enriching experience.
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': Yeah.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Hey, Scooter, what's next?
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': Oh, it's a guy named Lenny the Lizard. And he's an emcee.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': What the hey?

===[[Madeline Kahn]] [2.09]===
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Well, she's nothing like you at all. She is beautiful, and she's got this cute little nose... ''[sniffs]'' and she's intelligent... ''[sniffs]'' and talented...

===[[George Burns]] [2.10]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': I'm sorry, but we don't allow any reporters backstage during the show.
:'''Fleet''': What a headline! Muppet's Bad Press: Reporter Thrown Out By A Frog!
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Now, wait! On the other hand, can I offer you a cup of coffee?
:'''Fleet''': What a headline! Frog Bribes Reporter: Muppet's Desperate For Publicity!

===[[w:Dom DeLuise|Dom DeLuise]] [2.11]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': I mean, you know, if you can afford to pay off the audience, and buy all those flowers, and the fur, and the mail, and all that stuff...

===[[w:Bernadette Peters|Bernadette Peters]] [2.12]===
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': ''[after Miss Mousey's number]'' Boo! Hiss! Terrible! I hated it!
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Really? I kind of liked it.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Well, the pig doesn't have you in a hammerlock! Boo!

===[[Rudolf Nureyev]] [2.13]===
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth|Dr. Teeth]]''': Hey, hey, what's this bummer called again?
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd]]''': Minuet in G Major.
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth|Dr. Teeth]]''': Uh, we'll send it back in to the minors.

===[[Elton John]] [2.14]===
:'''[[w:Link Hogthrob|Link Hogthrob]]''': At least we could have brought a TV set. I'm missing all of my favorite bowling shows.
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': You and your bowling shows! He cries at the sad parts.
:''[Alarm went off on the control deck]''
:'''[[w:Link Hogthrob|Link Hogthrob]]''': What does that red light mean?
:'''[[w:Dr. Julius Strangepork|Dr. Julius Strangepork]]''': Well, The red light means stop, The green light means go, and the yellow light means....
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': No! No! No! Not traffic light, That light on the control panel.
:'''[[w:Dr. Julius Strangepork|Dr. Julius Strangepork]]''': Oh, That light. Well, That means we are invaded by alien beings.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': We're look like members of the rock age!
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': We're look more like members of the Stone Age! ''[Both laugh]''

===[[w:Lou Rawls|Lou Rawls]] [2.15]===
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper]]''': Oh, no, you couldn't take Animal on any long road trips, Lou.
:'''[[w:Lou Rawls|Lou]]''': Why not, man? The cat is good.
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper]]''': No, you couldn't get a long enough chain!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Fozzie has fallen off the stage]''
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': He was doing okay until he fell off the stage.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Wrong. He was doing okay until he ''came on'' the stage.

===[[w:Cleo Laine|Cleo Laine]] [2.16]===
:'''[[w:Link Hogthrob|Link Hogthrob]]''': First Mate Miss Piggy.
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': Er, yes, sir!
:'''[[w:Link Hogthrob|Link Hogthrob]]''': Did you shave this morning?

===[[Julie Andrews]] [2.17]===
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': ''[to the cow]'' Wow, you have got a great pair of legs! In fact, she's got two great pairs of legs!

===[[w:Jaye P. Morgan|Jaye P. Morgan]] [2.18]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': I can't tell you what a thrill it is to have you on this show.
:'''[[w:Jaye P. Morgan|Jaye P.]]''': Oh, thank you, Kermit. Nice of you to say so. I'd like to say I'm really indifferent about being here.

===[[Peter Sellers]] [2.19]===
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': Kermit! Kermit! Oh, no...the next act couldn't make it, it's been cancelled.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': What? But that was a terrific act! Prunella And Her Prancing Poultry!
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': Yeah. I know, yeah...Kermit, about that poultry, you see, yesterday...the duck hunting season began.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Dr. Bunsen Honeydew|Dr. Bunsen Honeydew]]''': Well, I'm just bubbly with excitement.

===[[Petula Clark]] [2.20]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Uh, ladies and gentlemen, Switzerland has given us some watches, some chocolate, and some silliness. And, we take you now to the Alps for the latter.

===[[Bob Hope]] [2.21]===
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Kermit, cancel my bread impersonation act! They didn't deliver my poppy seeds. You wouldn't want me to walk out there NAKED, would you?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[Bob Hope]]''': Are you ready to the song?
:'''The Talking Horse''': Sure, Why not!
:'''[[Bob Hope]]''': Yeah, But wait a minute. We are in the middle of the desert. And where is the music coming from?
:'''The Talking Horse''': Well, There is a tape deck in the saddle.
:'''[[Bob Hope]]''': (Ejects the cassette from the tape deck, and reads at the audio cassette) (To the audience) Stereophonic horse! (Puts the cassette back into the tape deck)

===[[w:Teresa Brewer|Teresa Brewer]] [2.22]===
:'''First Mate [[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': All right, that does it! I refuse to continue this sketch, did you hear me?
:'''Capt. [[w:Link Hogthrob|Link Hogthrob]]''': Sketch? What sketch? This is the Swinetrek, we're lost in endless space!
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': This is a cheap-shot comedy sketch, and I'll lay you odds the frog wrote it!

===[[John Cleese]] [2.23]===
:'''[[John Cleese]]''': I'd be Long John Silverstine! Deadliest pirate of the seven seas!
:'''[[w:Link Hogthrob|Link]]''': You can't be a pirate!
:'''[[John Cleese]]''': Of course I'm a pirate! I have a hat, a parrot and a hook. What else should I be? A management consultant?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Parrot''': You don't love me any more.
:'''[[John Cleese]]''': Of course I love you. I'm working now!
:'''Parrot''': And you're making a lousy job of it.
:'''[[John Cleese]]''': ''[pulling a gun]'' You wanna be [[Monty Python's Flying Circus|an ex-parrot]]?

===[[Cloris Leachman]] [2.24]===
:'''[[Cloris Leachman|Cloris]]''': All right then, I'll spell it out for you. You are a pig. P-I-G. You are not a frog. F-R-O-G. No, you are not a frog, and nothing that you say will ever convince me that you a frog. Nothing!
:'''Kermit the Pig''': Ribbit? Ribbit, rib-bit?
:'''[[Cloris Leachman|Cloris]]''': Oh, Kermit, it is you!

==Season 3 (1978-1979)==

===[[Kris Kristofferson]] &amp; [[w:Rita Coolidge|Rita Coolidge]] [3.01]===
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Gladys, what's the soup du jour?
:'''Gladys''': Same as yesterday.
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Good, I'll have that and a chicken.
:'''Gladys''': How do you want your chicken? Baked, broiled, or barbecued?
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': I want the chicken for company! I hate dining alone.

===[[w:Leo Sayer|Leo Sayer]] [3.02]===
:'''Annie Sue''': ''[to Miss Piggy]'' I never thought it could happen. I've been an admirer of yours ever since I was a little baby, you know?

===[[w:Roy Clark|Roy Clark]] [3.03]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': What's all this smoke?
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': Uh... that is not smoke.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': It is not smoke? Then what is it?
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': It's jet exhaust.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Jet exhaust?
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': Oh, look out! Here comes another one!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': ''[to the stage hands in the rafters]'' Hey, somebody kill that light!
:''[Machine gun fire is heard as he turns his back. At the same time that a spotlight drops down, Scooter turns behind him in surprise]''

===[[Gilda Radner]] [3.04]===
:'''[[Gilda Radner|Gilda]]''': ''[to Bunsen]'' Well, do you see. I don't mind assisting, but I'm not crazy about the idea of guinea-pigging.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kermit''': Now I'm stuck on you! 
:'''Miss Piggy''': Oh, at last, my frog wants me! Oh, thank you! ''[She notices he's literally stuck on her]'' Oh... Oh... Will you let... Will you — Get away from me! What is this?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''':: Good night!
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': So long!
:''[Their hands are stuck in the handrail]''
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler and Waldorf]]''': (in unison) OH NO!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wayne''': Sorry I was late. I had to change the bus across town, and the traffic was terrible.
:'''Miss Piggy''': Never mind. Just get me out of here.
:'''Wayne''': ''[noticing Uncle Deadly's boots]'' Say, I know those boots. Weren't you a flamenco dancer in Kansas City?
:'''Uncle Deadly''': Why yes, I was.
:'''Wayne''': Harry's Boom Boom Room?
:'''Uncle Deadly''': You caught my act? 
:'''Wayne''': I could never figure out how you did that passé double thing, though.
:'''Miss Piggy''': ''Paso doble''.
:'''Uncle Deadly''': Oh, quite simple, my boy. Quite simple. Music, maestro, please.
:'''Miss Piggy''': Music?! ''[Uncle Deadly starts to dance. Miss Piggy turns to the camera in disbelief. Uncle Deadly's feet come dangerously close to her hands]'' What? Hey, hey. Cool it up there.
:'''Uncle Deadly''': Now to the Passionato del Thunderdoor, you give it an extra little flourish.
:'''Miss Piggy''': Watch it!
:'''Wayne''': ''[to Uncle Deadly]'' Aha! You mean like this? ''[He starts dancing as well]''
:'''Miss Piggy''': Whoo-hoo, hee-ha, hold it. Easy! Down, boy. Hold it. Hoo, hey. Cool it.
:'''Uncle Deadly''': Almost, almost. No, more like... ''[He shows Wayne the dance again. Wayne joins in]''
:'''Miss Piggy''': Hey! Hey! Hey, Deadly... Hey, wait, hey. ''[Wayne steps on Piggy's hands, causing her to lose her grip and fall off the cliff screaming. Uncle Deadly and Wayne congratulate each other on their dancing]'' I suppose you think that's funny!

===[[Pearl Bailey]] [3.05]===
:'''[[w:Janice (muppet)|Janice]]''': I mean, you know, Kermit, sometimes I don't know what space you are coming from.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Well, it's just a regular backstage space.

===[[w:Jean Stapleton|Jean Stapleton]] [3.06]===
:'''[[w:Jean Stapleton|Jean Stapleton]]''': It's about this next number - I would really rather not do it.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': What, you mean the number with the pigs dressed as pirates, and the chickens playing some bagpipes, and you dancing with a 7-foot door knob?
:'''[[w:Jean Stapleton|Jean Stapleton]]''': Hmm. It's just one cliche after another.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': I liked that last number.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': What did you like about it?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': It was the LAST number! ''[they both laugh]''

===[[Alice Cooper]] [3.07]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Boy, it wasn't spooky like this when [[Julie Andrews]] did the show!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Sam the Eagle|Sam the Eagle]]''': ''[enters Alice's dressing room]'' Mr. Cooper.
:'''[[w:Alice Cooper|Alice Cooper]]''': ''[turns to face Sam with his heavy metal makeup on his face]'' Yes?
:'''[[w:Sam the Eagle|Sam the Eagle]]''': ''[horrified]'' Oh, good grief! Let me come right to the point. You, sir, are a demented, sick, degenerate, barbaric, naughty...freako!
:'''[[w:Alice Cooper|Alice Cooper]]''': ''[flattered]'' Why, thank you!
:'''[[w:Sam the Eagle|Sam the Eagle]]''': ''[ashamed of this reaction]'' Freakos: one, civilization: zero. ''[leaves Alice Cooper behind]''

===[[Loretta Lynn]] [3.08]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Gonzo, I should never have let you talk me into doing the show from a railroad depot.
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': But it was the only place available! They were having a tournament at the bowling alley.

===[[w:Liberace|Liberace]] [3.09]===
:'''Door Guard''': Liberace uses no chickens in his concert.
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Oh, then maybe he'll see me.
:'''Guard''': He's only seeing birds.
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': I'm a bird. Yeah, I am a, I am a turkey.
:'''Guard''': You are not a real turkey.
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Are you kidding? Have you seen my act?

===[[w:Marisa Berenson|Marisa Berenson]] [3.10]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': I just want to know more about this wedding sketch, I mean. I've got to learn my lines, Piggy.
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Well.. you only have one line.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': I do?
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Exactly.

:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Do it!

===[[Raquel Welch]] [3.11]===
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': You see, my problem was my need to tell jokes.
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper]]''': Yeah! And that was our problem, too! ''[laughs]''

===[[w:James Coco|James Coco]] [3.12]===
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': You know, I really like the water.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Oh, I am glad.
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Which means, after we're married, we can live at your place.

===[[Helen Reddy]] [3.13]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Hey Beau, I've got a job for you!
:'''[[w:Beauregard (Muppet)|Beauregard]]''': Oh, good.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Yeah. Just look at this mess.
:'''[[w:Beauregard (Muppet)|Beauregard]]''': Okay, that sounds easy enough.

===[[Harry Belafonte]] [3.14]===
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': ''[handing Rowlf a script]'' Hey, guys, guys – here is the musical moment for this week.
:'''[[w:Rowlf the Dog|Rowlf the Dog]]''': Uh... ''[reading]'' Curtains open. Lew Zealand and Rowlf do something funny. Curtains close.
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': Go get them!
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': And we leave nothing to chance, huh?
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]]''': Trust me.

===[[w:Lesley Ann Warren|Lesley Ann Warren]] [3.15]===
:'''[[w:Lesley Ann Warren|Lesley]]''': You know, Kermit, I thought you were the only person on this show who wasn't crazy.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Me, not crazy? I hired the others.

===[[w:Leslie Uggams|Leslie Uggams]]/[[w:Big Bird|Big Bird]][3.18]===
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Holy maracas!
:'''[[w:Big Bird|Big Bird]]''': Oh, hi. I'm Big Bird.
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Huh. No kidding.
:'''[[w:Big Bird|Big Bird]]''': I'm a friend of Kermit's.
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Oh.
:'''[[w:Big Bird|Big Bird]]''': Yeah, we both come from the same neighborhood. Sesame Street.
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''':: Oh. Isn't that that cute little children's show with puppets?
:'''[[w:Big Bird|Big Bird]]''': Uh-huh. And who are you?
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Who am I? I am Miss Piggy.
:'''[[w:Big Bird|Big Bird]]''': Oh. Well, do you work around here?
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Uh, listen, yellow thing. Do you see that star here?
:'''[[w:Big Bird|Big Bird]]''': Oh, yes. It's very pretty.
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': And, uh, do you know why it is there?
:'''[[w:Big Bird|Big Bird]]''': Well, uh... Perfect attendance?
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': I am the singing star of this show.
:'''[[w:Big Bird|Big Bird]]''': A singing pig? That's very funny! ''[laughs]''
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Kiss your feathers goodbye, bird! Hai-ya! ''[swings at Big Bird, but he doubles over and she misses and falls]''
:'''[[w:Big Bird|Big Bird]]''': Oh, you do acrobatics, too. ''[To the audience]'' She's very versatile.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Have we ever said that this show is for the birds?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Yes, and we'll keep saying it until it gets a laugh.

===[[w:Elke Sommer|Elke Sommer]] [3.19]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Thank you, Thank you, And welcome again to The Muppet Show. And we have great show because our guest star is on our favorite German actress, Mrs. Elke Sommer. But before we get to her, Ladies and Gentlemen: Bobby Benson's Baby Band!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Martha''': George, wake up! I think I hear prowlers.
:'''George''': Oh Martha, go back to sleep.

===[[Sylvester Stallone]] [3.20]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Welcome to The Muppet Show. We have great show tonight, Because our special guest star a famous director, screen writer, and the star of the popular movie called ''[[Rocky]]'', [[Sylvester Stallone]].
:''[A group teenage girls jumps to the stage]''
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': ''[To the girls]'' GET OUT OF THERE! ''[To the audience]'' Sorry about that, folks. Now anyways, We will like to start with a little Hawaiian number.
:'''One of the teenaged girl''': Is Sylvester going to wear a Hawaiian skirt?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': ''[To the girl]'' NO! HE IS NOT IN THE OPENING NUMBER! Please get back to seat. Uh, Curtains.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[Sylvester Stallone]]''': (gasps) Birdie? Is that you? It is you. Oh. You came back to me. Hey, everybody. Let's change that tone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[Sylvester Stallone]]''': Wow. I have a bird. Everyone, this is Birdie. Birdie, this is everyone. Isn't she cute?
:(they touched their noses)
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler and Waldorf]]''': You're my best friend!
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': Animal reunion.
:'''[[Sylvester Stallone]]''': Gonzo, this is Birdie.
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': Wow, a real bird. So nice to have you here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[Customer]]''': (laughing, stiffing)
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Okay, Well, The time has come to say goodbye. Because we don't have much else to say.
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': And if you're worried about Fozzie. Rest assure, he is scared.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': But before we go, let's have one last round of applause for the one and only, Sylvester Stallone!
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': And his pet Birdie!
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''':  YAYYYYYYYYYY!
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': Yippee!
:'''[[Sylvester Stallone]]''': Oh, thank you, Gonzo. Birdie thanks you too. Well, Kermit. I had a wonderful time. And Birdie came back. I only hope I didn't hurt the talking punching bag.
:'''The Punching Bag''': Hey, what hurt? Come on, Stallone, give us one for old time's sake.
:'''[[Sylvester Stallone]]''': OK. [He punches the punching bag]
:'''The Punching Bag''': (chuckles) Hey, Stallone, that's my kind of guy.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Okay. That's it for now.
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': Thank you again for telling me.
:'''[[Sylvester Stallone]]''': Thanks for seeing Birdie. You made me the happiest star of all.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': We'll see you next time on The Muppet Show! You all have been a wonderful laugh track.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Well, they say all good things come to an end.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': What's that got to do with this show?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler and Waldorf]]''': (chuckles)

===[[w:Roger Miller|Roger Miller]] [3.21]===
:''[Statler &amp; Waldorf chuckling]''
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': I bet you were expecting chickens.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Woof Woof Woof!
:''[Statler &amp; Waldorf laugh]''
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Woof Woof!
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Woof Woof!

===[[w:Roy Rogers|Roy Rogers]] and [[w:Dale Evans|Dale Evans]] [3.22]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Usually at this time, I would have said good night to the audience, But do you mind if you can say it, Your way?
:'''[[w:Roy Rogers|Roy Rogers]]''': Oh I'll be glad too. ''[To the audience]'' Until we again, on screen, or in person, Good night and good luck, and make good lord liking you.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': We'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!

===[[w:Cheryl Ladd|Cheryl Ladd]] [3.24]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Uh, Gonzo, that is terrible! I'm not going to introduce you for a crummy act like that!
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': Sic 'em!
:...
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': O.K! O.K! O.K! O.K! I'll introduce him.
:'''Chicken''': Meow!!
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Ungh! And now, here he is, ladies and gentlemen, uh, your one and you're welcome to him, Gonzo the Great! Off, off, off, off, off!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': Thank you! Thank you! And now, students of the occult, I shall demonstrate my amazing, powers of hypnosis. I shall place a member of the audience in a chance, aided only by the mysterious strength of hypnotic suggestion. My subject would support with only one hand, this 5000 pound weight. Who will the 1st, lucky volunteer? It's just a question of mind over matter.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': That's right! You don't mind and we don't matter!
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': You'll live to regret this!
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': We intend to.
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': But I just do not understand, you people! Immortality is out for grahams! But you don't deserve it!
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': No, but you do!
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': What a terrific idea! I'll hypnotize myself. I'll go down in history! Ahem. Look deep into my eyes! Make my mind a complete blank. My eye-lids are getting heavy. I am falling into my power. When I count 3, I will have the strength of an army! 1, 2, 3! Release the ropes!
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': That's very impressive! But how do you get out of it?
:'''[[w:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]]''': It's simple. I just snap my fingers! Ungh! Hey, Kermit, it went terrific!

==Season 4 (1979-1980)==

===[[w:Shields and Yarnell|Shields and Yarnell]] [4.3]===
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Just when you think the show is terrible, something wonderful happens.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': What?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': It ends. ''[Both laugh]''

===[[Dudley Moore]] [4.7]===
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': Oh Dudley, Dudley Moore, Fifteen seconds to Curtain, Mr. Moore!
:'''[[Dudley Moore]]''': (As he tries to tune his piano) Thank you, Scooter. But you see, I am having a bit a trouble getting this piano tuned. Can you give me an A?
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': Sure, Easy! ''[Uses a hand gun to shoot at the ceiling and it reveals the letter A!]''

===[[Liza Minnelli]] [4.9]===
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': ''[Statler and Waldorf are in prison uniforms in a prison cell in the balcony]'' How long are we here for?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Twenty years.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': If I'd known that judge was giving us the box, I'd have asked for the chair. ''[Both laugh]''

===[[Kenny Rogers]] [4.10]===
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler and Waldorf]]''': ''[singing]'' Why don't they make things funny?

===[[w:Dizzy Gillespie|Dizzy Gillespie]] [4.13]===
:'''Waldorf''': Statler isn't here tonight, Kermit! He's sick!
:'''Kermit''': Oh, that's too bad. The flu?
:'''Waldorf''': No, the show! He's sick of it! (laughs)
:'''Kermit''': Well, uh, don't get lonely up there, okay?
:'''Waldorf''': Not much chance of that. My wife is using Statler's ticket. She's just powdering her nose.
:'''Kermit''': No kidding. I've always wanted to meet your wife.
:''[Astoria, a woman who looks exactly like Statler, appears in the box]''
:'''Astoria''': I thought the show had started! Who's the frog?
:'''Waldorf''': That's Kermit, dear.
:'''Kermit''': What's your wife's name, Waldorf?
:'''Waldorf''': Astoria!

===[[w:Jonathan Winters|Jonathan Winters]] [4.16]===
:'''[[w:Beauregard (Muppet)|Beauregard]]''': It's almost time for the closing number. I'll let you know.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Beauregard (Muppet)|Beauregard]]''': Boy, that Old Gypsy Lady gave me a great introduction for the closing number, now I get to take over from here. (clears his throat) Now let's thank our guest star, the king of comedy genius, Jonathan Winters! YAY!
:'''[[w:Jonathan Winters|Jonathan Winters]]''': Oh, Thank you, Beauregard, my props have came back. I have never so felt alive before, it was a nice Svensky.
:'''[[w:Beauregard (Muppet)|Beauregard]]''': That's it for now. I'll see you next time on The Muppet Show.

===[[Mark Hamill]] [4.17]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Well folks, our own Scooter has prepared an act for us. He can't play very well, but he's worked very hard on this, and after listening to Mark and Angus Gershwin Gargling, anything should sound good.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Do you think there's life in outer space?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': There's certainly none in this theater. ''[both laugh]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kermit''': What do you do, Mark?
:'''[[Mark Hamill]]''': ''[imitating Kermit]'' Oh, uh, well, you know, I've been known to do impressions. Yaaay!
:'''Kermit''': Mm-hm. Who do you do? ''[Mark looks perplexed]''

===[[Christopher Reeve]] [4.18]===
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Well, this has been an evening to remember.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Why?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': I forgot. ''[Both laugh]''

===[[w:Lynda Carter|Lynda Carter]] [4.19]===
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': Lynda Carter, Lynda Carter?
:'''[[w:Lynda Carter|Lynda Carter]]''': I know, I know, 20 seconds to curtains.
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': WOW! You can read my mind!
:'''[[w:Lynda Carter|Lynda Carter]]''': No! I am reading the script.
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': No! Kermit wouldn't allow a script.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Holy guacamole! This looks like a job for Wonder Pig!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': How come chickens are getting so big on this show?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Well, chickens thrive on corn. [both laugh and clucking]

===[[w:Andy Williams|Andy Williams]] [4.22]===
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': I'm going to see my lawyer!
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Why?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': I'm going to find out if you can sue a show for breach of taste!

===[[Diana Ross]] [4.24]===
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie Bear]]''':'' [running on-stage]'' Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! ''[the crowd boos loudly at him; runs off-stage]'' Bye-a! Bye-a! Bye-a! Bye-a!
:''[Waldorf holds up a score card that says &quot;1&quot;]''
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': You gave him a one?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': He's never been better.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator''': Is this the end of ''Pigs in Space''?
:'''Audience''': YES!
:'''Narrator''': Then tune in next time for another....
:'''Audience''': NO!
:'''Narrator''': All right, then, don't. See if I care.

==Season 5 (1980-1981)==

===[[w:Loretta Swit|Loretta Swit]] [5.1]===
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': Congratulations, Kermit.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': On what?
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': That photographer from Tongue Magazine. You and Miss Piggy are being secretly married down in Las Vegas.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': ''[Gasp and shocked]'' Piggy, PIGGY?!?
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Yes, mon cheri?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Piggy, have you been planting items about us in the gossip  papers again?
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Um, well... what would make you think a thing like that?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': That photographer who was just here. He was from Tongue Magazine.
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Oh. Well, it was just a teeny tiny item.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': IT WAS A COVER STORY, ABOUT US BEING SECRETLY MARRIED!
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': It's just a slight exaggeration.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': THAT'S A BOLD-FACE LIE, PIGGY!!! I WILL NOT STAND AROUND WHEN YOU DO DUMB THINGS LIKE THAT! YOU HAVE DONE TOO ME TO MANY TIMES, PIGGY. I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT! NO, I WON'T STAND FOR IT!
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': Then what are going to do?!?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': I WILL TELL YOU WHAT I AM GOING TO DO, PIGGY! I AM GOING TO &quot;FIRE&quot; YOU! PIGGY, YOU ARE FIRED! YOU ARE FIRED, PIGGY! YOU ARE FIRED, FIRED! ''[Takes deep breaths from his meltdown]''
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': You're kidding.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': I am not kidding!
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': But I am supposed be in the next number.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': I will and I can. ''[To the intercom]'' Please, Cancel the next number. Bring in the snores chorus on stage.
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': You can't fire me. I am actress, model.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': YOU CAN BE REPLACED, YOU KNOW.
:'''[[w:Scooter (muppet)|Scooter]]''': BOSS, The Snorers are putting the audience to sleep.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Alright, I'll introduce Loretta, then. SNORERS, GET OFF THE STAGE!!!
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': They can't fire me.
:'''One of the snorers''': I don't know, I was sleeping all the time.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': AND NOW ''[Calmly]'' And now ladies and gentlemen, here is our special guest star, Miss Loretta Swit! YAYYYYYYYY!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Loretta Swit|Loretta Swit]]''': Who going to take over the talent, and one verb?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Well, In Vet's Hospital, I wonder if you can be in it?
:'''[[w:Loretta Swit|Loretta Swit]]''': ''[Goes hyper as she lets go of Miss Piggy]'' I'D LOVE TO!
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Oh, Good.
:'''[[w:Loretta Swit|Loretta Swit]]''': Do you think the uniform will fit.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Oh yes, Anybody can do that.
:'''Tongue Magazine Photographer''': Uh, Piggy. Do you work here?
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': HAI-YAH! (Kicks the photographer)

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Link Hogthrob|Captain Link Hogthrob]]''': HELP! WE BEEN ATTACKED BY A LITTLE GREEN MONSTER!!!
:'''[[w:Dr. Julius Strangepork|Doctor Julius Strangepork]]''': It's worse than that, We got two First Mate Piggies!

===[[w:Tony Randall|Tony Randall]] [5.13]===
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie Bear]]''': Boy, you sure are heavy. You must least weighed a ton.
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd]]''': Well, that's good. That means she's lost weight! ''[laughs]''
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie Bear]]''': Floyd, you shouldn't laugh at Piggy. I mean, she must be terrified.
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd]]''': Terrified? She's petrified! ''[laughs]''
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Hey, great news, Miss Piggy! You'll be back to normal in no time. I just got this new book called, &quot;Sandblasting Without Pain&quot;! ''[laughs]''
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd]]''': Hey, hey, Gonzo!
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Yeah?
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd]]''': Yeah! Did you know that Miss Piggy is very worried about Kermit?
:'''[[w:Gonzo (muppet)|Gonzo]]''': Worried about Kermit? Why?
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd]]''': Well, she's afraid that she'll have to take him for granite! ''[laughs]''
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': OK. OK, guys. Enough with these big cheap shots.
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd]]''': Aw, come on! I've got another page to go yet.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Floyd, how could you be so cruel to a fellow performer? Someone you've known and work with for years. I mean, just take a look at her. She's suffered enough. Have pity upon her.
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': ''[affectionally]'' Mmmmmmmm.
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd]]''': Oh, you're right. Well, what will I do with these jokes?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': Burn them. ''[leaves to the stage]''
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd]]''': ''[to Miss Piggy]'' You heard what the frog said. ''[strikes a match on her]''
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': ''[painfully]'' '''MMMMMMMMMM!!!!!'''
:'''[[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Sgt. Floyd Pepper|Floyd]]''': ''[laughs]''

===[[w:Mac Davis|Mac Davis]] [5.14]===
:''[Beaker comes up to Piggy and babbles]''
:'''Miss Piggy''': Beaker, I told you never to talk to me like that! ''[Beaker exhales heavily and walks off]'' Because I can't understand it.
----
:'''[[w:Dr. Bunsen Honeydew|Dr. Bunsen Honeydew]]''': ''[After getting clones of Beakers on his copying machine]'' I've only got one thing to say! '''HELLLLLLLLP! HELLLLLLLLLLLLP!!''' ''[Runs in a panic attack]''

===[[w:Carol Burnett|Carol Burnett]] [5.15]===
:'''[[w:Carol Burnett|Carol Burnett]]''': Kermit, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but this is one of the three worst shows I've ever seen.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': What were the other two?
:'''[[w:Carol Burnett|Carol Burnett]]''': There are no other two; I was just being kind.

===[[w:Gladys Knight|Gladys Knight]] [5.16]===
:''[During the Opening number]''
:'''Archeologist''': Look at them, I think they're glad to see us.
:'''Sacarogi''': When you've been stood up for 4,000 years, you're glad to see ''anybody''!

===[[w:Hal Linden|Hal Linden]] [5.17]===
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Well, It looks like time's running out for us.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Yeah, And for the show, too.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': So, Let's bring back our wonderful special guest star, Mr. Hal Linden!
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': ''[As he goes on Stage]'' YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
:'''[[w:Hal Linden|Hal Linden]]''': Oh, Kermit. It's good to see you!
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': It sure is.
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Yeah, Tonight was a disaster.
:'''[[w:Hal Linden|Hal Linden]]''': Has it really?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Gee, I thought that was a terrific show.
:'''[[w:Hal Linden|Hal Linden]]''': What are you talking about? There was a lot of confusions and chaos, and a lot of running around like mindless maniacs....
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie Bear]]''': Yeah, Like any good Muppet Show!
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': And Hal, You're a big part of it.
:'''[[w:Hal Linden|Hal Linden]]''': Oh, Good. I am glad I fit right in.
:''[Everybody laughs]''
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Well, Kermit. The show is all yours. We are going back to our seats in the box and stay there. ''[exits the stage]''
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': We didn't know how tough it was down here. From now on, we promise never to say a bad thing about this show again! ''[exits the stage]''.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': Oh, good! We'll see you again next time on ''The Muppet Show''.
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie Bear]]''': Bye!

===[[Marty Feldman]] [5.18]===
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': How should we know how to get to [[Sesame Street]]?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': We don't even know how to get out of this stupid theater box!

===[[Debbie Harry]] [5.20]===
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': You left out one rainbow song!
:'''[[Debbie Harry]]''': I did? Which one?
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': My rainbow song!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mrs. Appleby''': Mr. Frog. My boys just did your show, and we never negotiated a deal.

===[[Gene Kelly]] [5.24]===
:'''[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]]''': When will we get there?
:'''[[w:Dr. Julius Strangepork|Dr. Julius Strangepork]]''': In about 1 minute from, NOW!
:''[We see a timer at the bottom of the screen]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''News Anchor''': [As he interrupts the Pigs in Space sketch] And now, A Muppet News Flash. Probably the greatest news story in history. The meaning and purpose of life has just been announced as follow [He looks at the wrong message] Wait a minute. That's the wrong one. Hmm, I had it here a minute a go. Where is it? The meaning of purpose of life? Hmmm [To a crew member] HOW COULD I KEEP TRACK OF THINGS WHEN YOU'RE ALWAYS STRAIGHTENING OUT MY DESK?!?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Beauregard (Muppet)|Beauregard]]''': You are trying to make me feel better. But I know, THE END IS NEAR!!!
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': UH, NO! THE END IS NOW! ''[To the audience)]'' We'll see you next time on ''The Muppet Show''!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]]''': Are you ready for the end of the world?
:'''[[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]]''': Sure! It couldn't be any worse than this show!

===[[w:Glenda Jackson|Glenda Jackson]]===
:'''Kermit''': The show must not go on... because I quit! I give up! Our guest star's a pirate, the theater's sailing out to sea and I'm losing my mind!

==Theme Song==
'''Season 1'''
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': It's The Muppet Show, with our (very) special guest topic/star(s), Mr./Ms. (insert guest star name)!&lt;br&gt;'''Females''': It's time to play the music&lt;br&gt;It's time to light the lights&lt;br&gt;It's time to meet the Muppets&lt;br&gt;On The Muppet Show tonight.&lt;br&gt;'''Males''': It's time to put on makeup&lt;br&gt;It's time to dress up right&lt;br&gt;It's time to raise the curtain&lt;br&gt;On The Muppet Show tonight.&lt;br&gt;''[Fozzie'' ''tells a different joke each week]''&lt;br&gt;'''Kermit''': To introduce our guest star&lt;br&gt;That's what I'm here to do.&lt;br&gt;So it really makes me happy&lt;br&gt;To introduce to you...&lt;br&gt;(insert guest star name)!&lt;br&gt;But now let's get things started...&lt;br&gt;'''Cast''': On the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational!&lt;br&gt;This is what we call The Muppet Show!&lt;br&gt;''[Gonzo strikes gong with different effect each week]''

'''Season 2'''
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': It's The Muppet Show, with our (very) special guest topic/star(s), Mr./Ms. (insert guest star name)!&lt;br&gt;'''Females''': It's time to play the music&lt;br&gt;It's time to light the lights&lt;br&gt;It's time to meet the Muppets&lt;br&gt;On The Muppet Show tonight.&lt;br&gt;'''Males''': It's time to put on makeup&lt;br&gt;It's time to dress up right&lt;br&gt;It's time to get things started
:''(Statler and Waldorf make a different wisecrack each week)''&lt;br&gt;'''Kermit''': It's time to get things started...&lt;br&gt;'''Cast''': On the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational!&lt;br&gt;This is what we call The Muppet Show!&lt;br&gt;''[Gonzo blows trumpet with different effect each week]''

'''Season 3'''
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': It's The Muppet Show, with our (very) special guest topic/star(s), Mr./Ms. (insert guest star name)! (Yaaaaaaaaaay!)&lt;br&gt;'''Females''': It's time to play the music&lt;br&gt;It's time to light the lights&lt;br&gt;It's time to meet the Muppets&lt;br&gt;On The Muppet Show tonight.&lt;br&gt;'''Males''': It's time to put on makeup&lt;br&gt;It's time to dress up right&lt;br&gt;It's time to get things started&lt;br&gt;'''Audience''': Why don't you get things started?
:''(Statler and Waldorf make a different wisecrack each week)''&lt;br&gt;'''Kermit''': It's time to get things started...&lt;br&gt;'''Cast''': On the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational!&lt;br&gt;This is what we call The Muppet Show!&lt;br&gt;''[Gonzo blows trumpet with different effect each week]''

'''Season 4'''
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': It's The Muppet Show, with our (very) special guest star/topic(s) (insert guest star name)! (Yaaaaaaaaaay!)&lt;br&gt;'''Cast''': It's time to play the music&lt;br&gt;It's time to light the lights&lt;br&gt;It's time to get things started&lt;br&gt;'''Audience''': Why don't you get things started?
:''(Statler and Waldorf make a different wisecrack each week)''&lt;br&gt;'''Kermit''': It's time to get things started...&lt;br&gt;'''Cast''': On the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational!&lt;br&gt;This is what we call The Muppet Show!&lt;br&gt;''[Gonzo blows trumpet with different effect each week]''

'''Season 5'''
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit]]''': It's The Muppet Show, with our (very) special guest star/topic(s) (insert guest star name)! (Yaaaaaaaaaay!)&lt;br&gt;'''Females''': It's time to play the music&lt;br&gt;It's time to light the lights&lt;br&gt;It's time to meet the Muppets&lt;br&gt;On The Muppet Show tonight.&lt;br&gt;'''Males''': It's time to put on makeup&lt;br&gt;It's time to dress up right&lt;br&gt;It's time to raise the curtain on The Muppet Show tonight!&lt;br&gt;'''Waldorf''': Why do we always come here?&lt;br&gt;'''Statler''': I guess we'll never know.&lt;br&gt;'''Waldorf''': It's like a kind of torture. &lt;br&gt;'''Both''': To have to watch the show!
:&quot;[Animal drum solo and Lips trumpet solo]&quot;&lt;br&gt; '''Cast''': And now let's get things started! &lt;br&gt; '''Audience''': Why don't you get things started?&lt;br&gt;'''Kermit''': It's time to get things started...&lt;br&gt;'''Cast''': On the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational!&lt;br&gt;This is what we call The Muppet Show!&lt;br&gt;''[Gonzo blows trumpet with different effect each week]''

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=0074028|title=The Muppet Show}}
* [http://muppets.go.com The Online Home of Muppet Studios]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Muppet Show, The}}
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      <comment>.    To transfer personal information to a third party acting as a controller, organizations must comply with the Notice and Choice Principles.  Organizations must also enter into a contract with the third-party controller that provides that such data may only be processed for limited and specified purposes consistent with the consent provided by the individual and that the recipient will provide the same level of protection as the Principles and will notify the organization if it makes a determ</comment>
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      <text bytes="1962" xml:space="preserve">Most quotes from literary works are listed in articles on the author of the work, and may be found in ''[[:Category:People]]''. This category lists works that have separate articles, usually due to the size of the author page. 

  To transfer personal information to a third party acting as a controller, organizations must comply with the Notice and Choice Principles.  Organizations must also enter into a contract with the third-party controller that provides that such data may only be processed for limited and specified purposes consistent with the consent provided by the individual and that the recipient will provide the same level of protection as the Principles and will notify the organization if it makes a determination that it can no longer meet this obligation.  The contract shall provide that when such a determination is made the third party controller ceases processing or takes other reasonable and appropriate steps to remediate.

b.    To transfer personal data to a third party acting as an agent, organizations must: (i) transfer such data only for limited and specified purposes; (ii) ascertain that the agent is obligated to provide at least the same level of privacy protection as is required by the Principles; (iii) take reasonable and appropriate steps to ensure that the agent effectively processes the personal information transferred in a manner consistent with the organization’s obligations under the Principles; (iv) require the agent to notify the organization if it makes a determination that it can no longer meet its obligation to provide the same level of protection as is required by the Principles; (v) upon notice, including under (iv), take reasonable and appropriate steps to stop and remediate unauthorized processing; and (vi) provide a summary or a representative copy of the relevant privacy provisions of its contract with that agent to the Department upon request. page]]
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      <text bytes="143504" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Lyndon B. Johnson, photo portrait, leaning on chair, color.jpg|thumb|Extend the [[rights]] of [[citizenship]] to every citizen of this land. &lt;br /&gt; There is no constitutional issue here. The command of [[United States Constitution|the Constitution]] is plain. &lt;br /&gt; There is no [[moral]] issue. It is wrong — deadly wrong — to deny any of your fellow Americans the right to vote in this country. &lt;br /&gt; There is no issue of States rights or national rights. There is only the struggle for [[human rights]].]]
'''[[w:Lyndon B. Johnson|Lyndon Baines Johnson]]''' ([[27 August]] [[1908]] &amp;ndash; [[22 January]] [[1973]]), often referred to by his initials '''LBJ''', was an [[United States|American]] [[w:Politics of the United States|politician]]. After serving a long career in U.S. legislatures, Johnson became the [[w:Vice President of the United States|vice president]] of the [[United States|United States of America]] under [[John F. Kennedy]], from 1961 to 1963. A [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democrat]], Johnson became the 36th [[w:President of the United States|U.S. president]], from 1963 to 1969, after [[w:John F. Kennedy assassination|Kennedy's assassination]].

== Quotes ==
[[File:Lyndon Johnson signing Civil Rights Act, July 2, 1964.jpg|thumb|At times history and fate meet at a single time in a single place to shape a turning point in man's unending search for freedom.]]
[[File:Levi Eshkol and President Johnson with honor guard 1964.jpg|thumb|The purpose of protecting the life of our Nation and preserving the liberty of our citizens is to pursue the happiness of our people. Our success in that pursuit is the test of our success as a Nation.]]
[[File:LBJ and JFK.jpg|thumb|The challenge of the next half century is whether we have the wisdom to use that wealth to enrich and elevate our national life, and to advance the quality of our American civilization….]]
[[File:1964 Blue Room Christmas Tree.jpg|thumb|Poverty must not be a bar to learning, and learning must offer an escape from poverty.]]
[[File:LBJ and RFK campaign 1964.jpg|thumb|There are no problems which we cannot solve together, and there are very few which any of us can settle by himself.]]
[[File:Chapmans Coffin.jpg|thumb|I do not find it easy to send the flower of our youth, our finest young men, into battle.]]
[[File:Ljohnson.jpeg|thumb|A democracy works best when the people have all the information that the security of the Nation permits. No one should be able to pull curtains of secrecy around decisions which can be revealed without injury to the public interest.]]
[[File:ArlingtonCemetery.jpg|thumb|To deny a man his hopes because of his color or race, his religion or the place of his birth is not only to do injustice; it is to deny America and to dishonor the dead who gave their lives for American freedom.]]
[[File:Visit of President Johnson in Vietnam.jpg|thumb|Freedom of information is so vital that only the national security, not the desire of public officials or private citizens, should determine when it must be restricted.]]
[[File:L B Johnson 1973 Issue-8c.jpg|thumb|The United States is an open society in which the people's right to know is cherished and guarded.]]
[[File:Lbjsigningbill.jpg|thumb|The only real road to progress for free people is through the process of law.]]
[[File:WhSouthLawn.JPEG|thumb|[[Dwight D. Eisenhower|Eisenhower]] used to tell me that this place was a prison. I never felt freer.]]
[[File:Seal of the United States Department of Justice.svg|thumb|Justice means a man's hope should not be limited by the color of his skin.]]
[[File:CH-53 landing at Defense Attaché Office compound, Operation Frequent Wind.jpg|thumb|The war in Vietnam is not like these other wars. Yet, finally, war is always the same. It is young men dying in the fullness of their promise. It is trying to kill a man that you do not even know well enough to hate. Therefore, to know war is to know that there is still madness in this world.]]
[[File:Vietnamese refugees on US carrier, Operation Frequent Wind.jpg|thumb|Make no mistake about it&amp;nbsp;... We are going to win.]]
[[File:Flag of South Vietnam.svg|thumb|The people of Vietnam, north and south, seek the same things. The shared needs of man, the needs for food and shelter and education, the chance to build and work and till the soil, free from the arbitrary horrors of battle, the desire to walk in the dignity of those who master their own destiny. For many painful years, in war and revolution and infrequent peace, they have struggled to fulfill those needs. It is a crime against mankind that so much courage, and so much will, and so many dreams, must be flung on the fires of war and death.]]

* '''Making a speech on economics is a lo	t like pissing down your leg. It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.'''
** Private comment, as quoted in ''Name-Dropping'' (1999) by [[John Kenneth Galbraith]], p. 149. &lt;!-- London: Aurum Press --&gt;

* If the circumstances make it such that you can't fuck a man in the ass, then just peckerslap him. Better to let him know who's in charge than to let him get the keys to the car.
** Private comment, found in ''White House Tapes: Eavesdropping on the President'' (2003) edited by John Prados.

* [[Dwight D. Eisenhower|Eisenhower]] used to tell me that this place was a prison. I never felt freer.
**As quoted in [http://pqasb.pqarchiver.com/washingtonpost/doc/307079109.html?FMT=ABS&amp;FMTS=ABS:FT&amp;date=Nov+13%2C+1988&amp;author=Moyers%2C+Bill+D&amp;desc=What+a+Real+President+Was+Like%3B+To+Lyndon+Johnson%2C+the+Great+Society+Meant+Hope+and+Dignity &quot;What a Real President Was Like: To Lyndon Johnson, the Great Society Meant Hope and Dignity&quot;], by [[Bill Moyers]], ''The Washington Post'' (13 November 1988)

* [Gerald] Ford's economics are the worst thing that's happened to this country since pantyhose ruined finger-fucking.
** As quoted in [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486585/ ''Fuck''] (2005)

===1940s===
* This civil rights program about which you have heard so much is a farce and a sham; an effort to set up a police state in the guise of liberty. I am opposed to that program. I fought it in the Congress. It is the province of the state to run its own elections. I am opposed to the anti-lynching bill because the federal government has no business enacting a law against one kind of murder than another&amp;nbsp;... If a man can tell you who you must hire, he can tell you who not to employ. I have met this head on.
** [http://www.arenajunkies.com/topic/190562-best-and-worst-president-of-the-century/page__st__20 Speech in Austin, Texas] (22 May 1948), as quoted in [http://www.arenajunkies.com/topic/190562-best-and-worst-president-of-the-century/page__st__20 ''Quotations from Chairman LBJ''] (1968)&lt;!-- New York: Simon and Schuster --&gt;

===1960s===
* '''This is a sad time for all people. We have suffered a loss that cannot be weighed. For me, it is a deep, personal tragedy. I know the world shares the sorrow that Mrs. Kennedy and her family bear. I will do my best; that is all I can do. I ask for your help and God's.'''
** First official statement as President after the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, televised live from Andrews Air Force Base (22 November 1963)

* I am so proud of our system of government, of our free enterprise, where our incentive system and our men who head our big industries are willing to get up at daylight and work until midnight to offer employment and create new jobs for people, where our men working there will try to get decent wages but will sit across the table and not act like cannibals, but will negotiate and reason things out together.
** [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=26108 &quot;Transcript of Television and Radio Interview Conducted by Representatives of Major Broadcast Services.,&quot;] (15 March 1964), online at The American Presidency Project by Gerhard Peters and John T. Woolley

* '''The challenge of the next half century is whether we have the wisdom to use that wealth to enrich and elevate our national life, and to advance the quality of our American civilization….&lt;br /&gt;The Great Society rests on abundance and liberty for all. It demands an end to poverty and racial injustice, to which we are totally committed in our time. But that is just the beginning.&lt;br /&gt;The Great Society is a place where every child can find knowledge to enrich his mind and to enlarge his talents. It is a place where leisure is a welcome chance to build and reflect, not a feared cause of boredom and restlessness. It is a place where the city of man serves not only the needs of the body and the demands of commerce but the desire for beauty and the hunger for community.&lt;br /&gt;It is a place where man can renew contact with nature. It is a place which honors creation for its own sake and for what it adds to the understanding of the race. It is a place where men are more concerned with the quality of their goals than the quantity of their goods.&lt;br /&gt;But most of all, the Great Society is not a safe harbor, a resting place, a final objective, a finished work. It is a challenge constantly renewed, beckoning us toward a destiny where the meaning of our lives matches the marvelous products of our labor.'''
** Remarks at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor (May 22, 1964). ''Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: Lyndon B. Johnson, 1963–64'', book 1, p. 704

* '''The purpose of protecting the life of our Nation and preserving the liberty of our citizens is to pursue the happiness of our people. Our success in that pursuit is the test of our success as a Nation.'''
** The Great Society (May 22, 1964). [https://web.archive.org/web/20210110235732/https://usa.usembassy.de/etexts/speeches/rhetoric/lbjgreat.htm Archived] from [https://usa.usembassy.de/etexts/speeches/rhetoric/lbjgreat.htm the original] on January 10, 2021.

* '''Poverty must not be a bar to learning, and learning must offer an escape from poverty.'''
** The Great Society (May 22, 1964). [https://web.archive.org/web/20210110235732/https://usa.usembassy.de/etexts/speeches/rhetoric/lbjgreat.htm Archived] from [https://usa.usembassy.de/etexts/speeches/rhetoric/lbjgreat.htm the original] on January 10, 2021.


* '''Fuck your parliament and your constitution. [[United States|America]] is an elephant. Cyprus is a flea. [[Greece]] is a flea'''. If these two fleas continue itching the elephant, they may just get whacked good&amp;nbsp;... We pay a lot of good American dollars to the Greeks, Mr. Ambassador. If your Prime Minister gives me talk about democracy, parliament and constitution, he, his parliament and his constitution may not last long&amp;nbsp;...
** Comment to the Greek ambassador to Washington, Alexander Matsas, over the Cyprus issue in June 1964. As quoted in ''I Should Have Died'' (1977) by Philip Deane, pp. 113-114

* Our government is united in its determination to take all necessary measures in support of [[freedom]] and in defense of [[peace]] in Southeast Asia.
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dx8-ffiYyzA Report on the Gulf of Tonkin Incident] (4 August 1964)

* '''And I just want to tell you this&amp;nbsp;— we're in favor of a lot of things and we're against mighty few.'''
** Campaign statement (1964), as quoted in ''The Making of the President, 1964'' (1966) by [[T. H. White]], p. 413. &lt;!-- New York: Signet Books --&gt;

* '''There are no problems which we cannot solve together, and there are very few which any of us can settle by himself.'''
** President Johnson's thirty-fourth news conference was held on the front lawn at the LBJ Ranch, Johnson City, Tex., at 10:45 a.m. on Saturday, November 28, 1964. Source: [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/the-presidents-news-conference-the-lbj-ranch-1 Lyndon B. Johnson, The President's News Conference at the LBJ Ranch. Online by Gerhard Peters and John T. Woolley from The American Presidency Project.]

* I am going to build the kind of nation that [[Franklin D. Roosevelt|President Roosevelt]] hoped for, [[Harry S. Truman|President Truman]] worked for and [[John F. Kennedy|President Kennedy]] died for.
** ''The Sunday Times'' (27 Dec 1964)

* The same society which receives the rewards of technology must, as a cooperating whole, take responsibility for control. To deal with these new problems will require a new conservation. We must not only protect the countryside and save it from destruction, we must restore what has been destroyed and salvage the beauty and charm of our cities. Our conservation must be not just the classic conservation of protection and development, but a creative conservation of restoration and innovation. Its concern is not with nature alone, but with the total relation between man and the world around him. Its object is not just man's welfare, but the dignity of man's spirit.
** ''Message to Congress on Conservation and Restoration of Natural Beauty'' written to Congress (8 Feb 1965), in ''Lyndon B. Johnson: Containing the Public Messages, Speeches, and Statements of the President'' (1965), Vol.1, 156. United States. President (1963-1969 : Johnson), Lyndon Baines Johnson, United States. Office of the Federal Register&amp;nbsp;— 1970

* The American city should be a collection of communities where every member has a right to belong. It should be a place where every man feels safe on his streets and in the house of his friends. It should be a place where each individual’s dignity and self-respect is strengthened by the respect and affection of his neighbors. It should be a place where each of us can find the satisfaction and warmth which comes from being a member of the community of man. This is what man sought at the dawn of civilization. It is what we seek today.
** Special message to the Congress on the nation's cities (March 2, 1965); reported in ''Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: Lyndon B. Johnson, 1965'', book 1, p. 240

* We don't propose to sit here in our rocking chair with our hands folded and let the Communists set up any government in the Western Hemisphere.
** Remarks to the 10th National Legislative Conference, Building and Construction Trades Department, AFL-CIO (May 3, 1965); reported in ''Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: Lyndon B. Johnson, 1965'', book 1, p. 480

* You do not wipe away the scars of centuries by saying, &quot;Now you are free to go where you want, and do as you [[desire]], and [[choose]] the [[leaders]] you please.&quot; &lt;br /&gt; You do not take a person who, for years, has been hobbled by chains and liberate him, bring him up to the starting line of a race and then say, &quot;You are free to [[compete]] with all the others,&quot; and still justly [[believe]] that you have been completely [[fair]]. &lt;br /&gt;Thus it is not enough just to open the gates of [[opportunity]]. All our [[citizens]] must have the [[ability]] to walk through those gates. And this is the next and the more profound stage of the battle for [[civil rights]]. &lt;br /&gt;We seek not just [[freedom]] but opportunity. We seek not just [[legal]] [[equity]] but [[human]] ability, not just [[equality]] as a [[right]] and a [[theory]], but equality as a [[fact]], and equality as a [[result]].
** Statement on affirmative action in the [https://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/lbjhowarduniversitycommencement.htm LBJ Commencement Address at Howard University] (4 June 1965)

* '''We do not want an expanding struggle with consequences, that no one can perceive, nor will we bluster or bully or flaunt our power, but we will not surrender and we will not retreat, for behind our American pledge lies the determination and resources, I believe, of all of the American nation.'''
** [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=27116 News Conference (28 July 1965)]

* '''I do not find it easy to send the flower of our youth, our finest young men, into battle.'''
** [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=27116 (28 July 1965)]

* I hope that you of the [[w:International Platform Association|IPA]] will go out into the hinterland and rouse the masses and blow the bugles and tell them that the hour has arrived and their day is here; that we are on the march against the ancient enemies and we are going to be successful.
** Remarks to the International Platform Association (August 3, 1965); reported in ''Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: Lyndon B. Johnson, 1965'', book 2, p. 822

* We know that most people's intentions are good. We don't question their motives; we've never said they're unpatriotic, although they say some pretty ugly things about us. And we believe very strongly on preserving the right to differ in this country, and the right to dissent; and if I have done a good job of anything since I've been president, it's to ensure that there are plenty of dissenters.
** [http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/vietnam/series/pt_10.html Statement (17 November 1967), as quoted in ''Vietnam: A Television History'' (1983) &quot;Homefront USA&quot; ]

* What did you expect? I don't know why we're so surprised. When you put your foot on a man's neck and hold him down for three hundred years, and then you let him up, what's he going to do? He's going to knock your block off.
** Regarding rioting (1968), as quoted in ''Judgment days: Lyndon Baines Johnson, Martin Luther King, Jr., and the laws that changed America'' (2005), by Nick Kotz, Boston: Houghton Mifflin. p. 417

{{Original recording|Remarks at a Meeting of the Alliance of Businessmen (March 1968), by Lyndon B. Johnson.oga}}
* Make no mistake about it. I don't want a man in here to go back home thinking otherwise; we are going to win.
** [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/?pid=28740 Remarks at a Meeting of the National Alliance of Businessmen (16 March 1968).]

* Our society is illuminated by the spiritual insights of the Hebrew prophets. America and Israel have a common love of human freedom, and they have a common faith in a democratic way of life.
**[http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/US-Israel/lbjpeace1.html From a speech on the state of the Middle East, September 10, 1968]

====Memorial Day speech (1963)====
[[File:A mosaic LAW by Frederick Dielman, 1847-1935.JPG|thumb|The law cannot save those who deny it but neither can the law serve any who do not use it. The history of injustice and inequality is a history of disuse of the law. Law has not failed&amp;ndash;and is not failing. We as a nation have failed ourselves by not trusting the law and by not using the law to gain sooner the ends of justice which law alone serves.]]
:&lt;small&gt;Remarks of Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson, Memorial Day, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania (May 30, 1963). Source: [http://www.lbjlib.utexas.edu/johnson/archives.hom/speeches.hom/630530.asp Press Release, &quot;5/30/63, Remarks by Vice President, Memorial Day, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania,&quot; Statements File, Box 80, LBJ Library.]&lt;/small&gt;
* '''On this hallowed ground, [[w:Batttle of Gettysburg|heroic deeds]] were performed and [[w:Gettysburg Address|eloquent words]] were spoken a century ago. We, the living, have not forgotten&amp;ndash;and the world will never forget&amp;ndash;the deeds or the words of Gettysburg. We honor them now''' as we join on this [[Memorial Day]] of 1963 '''in a prayer for permanent peace of the world and fulfillment of our hopes for universal freedom and justice.'''

* '''We are called to honor our own words of reverent prayer with resolution in the deeds we must perform to preserve peace and the hope of freedom. We keep a vigil of peace around the world. Until the world knows no aggressors, until the arms of tyranny have been laid down, until freedom has risen up in every land, we shall maintain our vigil to make sure our sons who died on foreign fields shall not have died in vain.'''

* As we maintain the vigil of peace, we must remember that '''justice is a''' vigil, too&amp;nbsp;— '''a vigil we must keep in our own streets and schools and among the lives of all our people&amp;nbsp;— so that those who died here on their native soil shall not have died in vain.'''

* '''One hundred years ago, the slave was freed. One hundred years later, the Negro remains in bondage to the color of his skin. The Negro today asks justice. We do not answer him'''&amp;nbsp;— we do not answer those who lie beneath this soil&amp;nbsp;— '''when we reply to the Negro by asking, &quot;Patience.&quot;'''

* '''It is empty to plead that the solution to the dilemmas of the present rests on the hands of the clock. The solution is in our hands.''' Unless we are willing to yield up our destiny of greatness among the civilizations of history, Americans&amp;nbsp;— white and Negro together&amp;nbsp;— must be about the business of resolving the challenge which confronts us now.

* '''Our nation found its soul in honor on these fields of Gettysburg one hundred years ago. We must not lose that soul in dishonor now on the fields of hate. To ask for patience from the Negro is to ask him to give more of what he has already given enough. But to fail to ask of him&amp;nbsp;— and of all Americans&amp;nbsp;— perseverance within the processes of a free and responsible society would be to fail to ask what the national interest requires of all its citizens.'''

* '''The law cannot save those who deny it but neither can the law serve any who do not use it. The history of injustice and inequality is a history of disuse of the law. Law has not failed&amp;nbsp;— and is not failing. We as a nation have failed ourselves by not trusting the law and by not using the law to gain sooner the ends of justice which law alone serves.''' If the white over-estimates what he has done for the Negro without the law, the Negro may under-estimate what he is doing and can do for himself with the law.

* If it is empty to ask Negro or white for patience, it is not empty&amp;nbsp;— it is merely honest&amp;nbsp;— to ask perseverance. '''Men may build barricades&amp;nbsp;— and others may hurl themselves against those barricades&amp;nbsp;— but what would happen at the barricades would yield no answers. The answers will only be wrought by our perseverance together. It is deceit to promise more as it would be cowardice to demand less.'''

* '''The Negro says, &quot;Now.&quot; Others say, &quot;Never.&quot; The voice of responsible Americans&amp;nbsp;— the voice of those who died here and the great man who spoke here&amp;nbsp;— their voices say, &quot;Together.&quot; There is no other way.'''

* '''Until justice is blind to color, until education is unaware of race, until opportunity is unconcerned with the color of men's skins, emancipation will be a proclamation but not a fact. To the extent that the [[w:Emancipation Proclamation|proclamation of emancipation]] is not fulfilled in fact, to that extent we shall have fallen short of [[Abraham Lincoln#Second_State_of_the_Union_address_.281862.29|assuring freedom to the free]].'''

====Telephone call with Senator Richard Russell (May 27, 1964)====
:&lt;small&gt; As quoted in [http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/09/27/vietnam-war-documentary-ken-burns-missing-transcript-215652 &quot;The Vietnam War Transcript Trump Needs to Read&quot;] ''Politico Magazine'', Jeff Green Field, September 27, 2017&lt;/small&gt;
*'''Johnson''': What do you think about this [[Vietnam War|Vietnam thing]]? I’d like to hear you talk a little bit.
:'''Russell''': Well, frankly, Mr. President, it’s the damn worse mess that I ever saw, and I don’t like to brag and I never have been right many times in my life, but I knew that we were going to get into this sort of mess when we went in there. And I don’t see how we’re ever going to get out of it without fighting a major war with the Chinese and all of them down there in those rice paddies and jungles. I just don’t see it. I just don’t know what to do.
:'''Johnson''': Well, that’s the way I have been feeling for six months.
:'''Russell''': Our position is deteriorating and it looks like the more we try to do for them, the less they are willing to do for themselves. It is a mess and it’s going to get worse, and I don’t know how or what to do. I don’t think the American people are quite ready for us to send our troops in there to do the fighting. If I was going to get out, I’d get the same crowd that got rid of old Diem [the Vietnamese prime minister who was overthrown and assassinated in 1963] to get rid of these people and to get some fellow in there that said we wish to hell we would get out. That would give us a good excuse for getting out.
:'''Johnson''': How important is it to us?
:'''Russell''': It isn’t important a damn bit for all this [[nuclear weapon|new missile stuff]].
:'''Johnson''': I guess it is important.
:'''Russell''': From a psychological standpoint. Other than the question of our word and saving face, that’s the reason that I said that I don’t think that anybody would expect us to stay in there. It’s going to be a headache to anybody that tries to fool with it. You’ve got all the brains in the country, Mr. President—you better get ahold of them. I don’t know what to do about this. I saw it all coming on, but that don’t do any good now, that’s water over the dam and under the bridge. And we are there.

*'''Johnson''': Well, they’d impeach a president, though, that would run out, wouldn’t they?
:'''Russell''': I don’t think they would. I don’t know how in hell you’re going to get out, unless they [the South Vietnamese government] tell you to get out.
:'''Johnson''': Wouldn’t that pretty well fix us in the eyes of the world and make us look mighty bad?
:'''Russell''': Well, I don’t know, we don’t look too good right now, going in there with all the troops, sending them all in there, I’ll tell you it'll be the most expensive adventure this country ever went into.

====Civil Rights Bill signing speech (1964)====
[[File:Lyndon Johnson signing Civil Rights Act, July 2, 1964.jpg|thumb|Let us close the springs of racial poison. Let us pray for wise and understanding hearts. Let us lay aside irrelevant differences and make our Nation whole.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.lbjlib.utexas.edu/johnson/archives.hom/speeches.hom/640702.asp President Lyndon B. Johnson's Radio and Television Remarks Upon Signing the Civil Rights Bill (July 2, 1964).] Source: Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: Lyndon B. Johnson, 1963-64. Volume II, entry 446, pp. 842-844. Washington, D. C.: Government Printing Office, 1965.&lt;/small&gt;

* Americans of every race and color have died in battle to protect our freedom. Americans of every race and color have worked to build a nation of widening opportunities. Now our generation of Americans has been called on to continue the unending search for justice within our own borders. We believe that all men are created equal. Yet many are denied equal treatment. We believe that all men have certain unalienable rights. Yet many Americans do not enjoy those rights. We believe that all men are entitled to the blessings of liberty. Yet millions are being deprived of those blessings&amp;nbsp;— not because of their own failures, but because of the color of their skin. The reasons are deeply imbedded in history and tradition and the nature of man. We can understand&amp;nbsp;— without rancor or hatred&amp;nbsp;— how this all happened. But it cannot continue. Our Constitution, the foundation of our Republic, forbids it. The principles of our freedom forbid it. Morality forbids it. And the law I will sign tonight forbids it.

* The purpose of the law is simple. It does not restrict the freedom of any American, so long as he respects the rights of others. It does not give special treatment to any citizen. It does say the only limit to a man's hope for happiness, and for the future of his children, shall be his own ability. It does say that there are those who are equal before God shall now also be equal in the polling booths, in the classrooms, in the factories, and in hotels, restaurants, movie theaters, and other places that provide service to the public.

* '''We must not approach the observance and enforcement of this law in a vengeful spirit. Its purpose is not to punish. Its purpose is not to divide, but to end divisions&amp;nbsp;— divisions which have all lasted too long. Its purpose is national, not regional. Its purpose is to promote a more abiding commitment to freedom, a more constant pursuit of justice, and a deeper respect for human dignity.'''

* '''Let us close the springs of racial poison. Let us pray for wise and understanding hearts. Let us lay aside irrelevant differences and make our Nation whole.'''

====Inaugural address (1965)====
[[File:Lyndon Johnson and Martin Luther King, Jr. - Voting Rights Act.jpg|thumb|Justice requires us to remember that when any citizen denies his fellow, saying, &quot;His color is not mine,&quot; or &quot;His beliefs are strange and different,&quot; in that moment he betrays America, though his forebears created this Nation.]]
[[File:North America from low orbiting satellite Suomi NPP.jpg|thumb|We are all fellow passengers on a dot of earth. And each of us, in the span of time, has really only a moment among our companions. How incredible it is that in this fragile existence, we should hate and destroy one another. There are possibilities enough for all who will abandon mastery over others to pursue mastery over nature. There is world enough for all to seek their happiness in their own way.]]
[[File:Flag-lens-flare.jpg|thumb|Let us reject any among us who seek to reopen old wounds and to rekindle old hatreds. They stand in the way of a seeking nation. Let us now join reason to faith and action to experience, to transform our unity of interest into a unity of purpose. For the hour and the day and the time are here to achieve progress without strife, to achieve change without hatred—not without difference of opinion, but without the deep and abiding divisions which scar the union for generations.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.bartleby.com/124/pres57.html Lyndon Baines Johnson: Inaugural Address (20 January 1965)]&lt;/small&gt;
* '''We are one nation and one people. Our fate as a nation and our future as a people rest not upon one citizen, but upon all citizens. This is the majesty and the meaning of this moment.'''

* '''For every generation, there is a destiny. For some, history decides. For this generation, the choice must be our own. [...] Our destiny in the midst of change will rest on the unchanged character of our people, and on their faith.'''

* '''They came here—the exile and the stranger, brave but frightened—to find a place where a man could be his own man. They made a covenant with this land. Conceived in justice, written in liberty, bound in union, it was meant one day to inspire the hopes of all mankind; and it binds us still. If we keep its terms, we shall flourish.'''

* First, '''justice was the promise that all who made the journey would share in the fruits of the land. In a land of great wealth, families must not live in hopeless poverty. In a land rich in harvest, children just must not go hungry. In a land of healing miracles, neighbors must not suffer and die unattended. In a great land of learning and scholars, young people must be taught to read and write.'''

* '''Justice requires us to remember that when any citizen denies his fellow, saying, &quot;His color is not mine,&quot; or &quot;His beliefs are strange and different,&quot; in that moment he betrays America, though his forebears created this Nation.'''

* '''Liberty was the second article of our covenant. It was self-government. It was our Bill of Rights.''' But it was more. '''America would be a place where each man could be proud to be himself: stretching his talents, rejoicing in his work, important in the life of his neighbors and his nation.''' This has become more difficult in a world where change and growth seem to tower beyond the control and even the judgment of men. '''We must work to provide the knowledge and the surroundings which can enlarge the possibilities of every citizen. The American covenant called on us to help show the way for the liberation of man. And that is today our goal. Thus, if as a nation there is much outside our control, as a people no stranger is outside our hope.'''

* '''We are all fellow passengers on a dot of earth. And each of us, in the span of time, has really only a moment among our companions. How incredible it is that in this fragile existence, we should hate and destroy one another. There are possibilities enough for all who will abandon mastery over others to pursue mastery over nature. There is world enough for all to seek their happiness in their own way.'''

* '''We aspire to nothing that belongs to others. We seek no dominion over our fellow man, but man's dominion over tyranny and misery.''' But more is required. '''Men want to be a part of a common enterprise—a cause greater than themselves. Each of us must find a way to advance the purpose of the Nation, thus finding new purpose for ourselves. Without this, we shall become a nation of strangers.'''

* '''The third article was union. [...] By working shoulder to shoulder, together we can increase the bounty of all. We have discovered that every child who learns, every man who finds work, every sick body that is made whole—like a candle added to an altar—brightens the hope of all the faithful. So let us reject any among us who seek to reopen old wounds and to rekindle old hatreds. They stand in the way of a seeking nation. Let us now join reason to faith and action to experience, to transform our unity of interest into a unity of purpose. For the hour and the day and the time are here to achieve progress without strife, to achieve change without hatred—not without difference of opinion, but without the deep and abiding divisions which scar the union for generations.'''

* I do not believe that '''the Great Society''' is the ordered, changeless, and sterile battalion of the ants. It i'''s the excitement of becoming—always becoming, trying, probing, falling, resting, and trying again—but always trying and always gaining.'''

* '''In each generation, with toil and tears, we have had to earn our heritage again. If we fail now, we shall have forgotten in abundance what we learned in hardship''': that '''democracy rests on faith''', that '''freedom asks more than it gives''', and that '''the judgment of God is harshest on those who are most favored.''' '''If we succeed, it will not be because of what we have, but it will be because of what we are; not because of what we own, but, rather because of what we believe. For we are a nation of believers. Underneath the clamor of building and the rush of our day's pursuits, we are believers in justice and liberty and union, and in our own Union. We believe that every man must someday be free. And we believe in ourselves.'''

* '''Our enemies have always made the same mistake.''' In my lifetime—'''in depression and in war—they have awaited our defeat. Each time, from the secret places of the American heart, came forth the faith they could not see or that they could not even imagine. It brought us victory. And it will again. For this is what America is all about. It is the uncrossed desert and the unclimbed ridge. It is the star that is not reached and the harvest sleeping in the unplowed ground. Is our world gone? We say &quot;Farewell.&quot; Is a new world coming? We welcome it—and we will bend it to the hopes of man.'''

* To these trusted public servants and to my family and those close friends of mine who have followed me down a long, winding road, and '''to all the people of this Union and the world, I will repeat today what I said on that sorrowful day in November 1963: &quot;I will lead and I will do the best I can.&quot; But you must look within your own hearts to the old promises and to the old dream. They will lead you best of all.'''

====Special message to Congress on the right to vote (1965)====
[[File:AdoptionOf13thAmendment.jpg|thumb|Government is best which is closest to the people.]]
[[File:The County Election, Bingham, 1846.jpg|thumb|The first right and most vital of all our rights is the right to vote.[...] It is from the exercise of this right that the guarantee of all our other rights flows. Unless the right to vote be secure and undenied, all other rights are insecure and subject to denial for all our citizens.]]
[[File:1963 march on washington.jpg|thumb|A people divided over the right to vote can never build a Nation united.]]
[[File:Lincolnatgettysburg.jpg|thumb|We cannot have government for all the people until we first make certain it is government of and by all the people.]]
:&lt;small&gt; Written document [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/special-message-the-congress-the-right-vote Lyndon B. Johnson: &quot;Special Message to the Congress on the Right To Vote&quot; (15 March 1965)] online at The American Presidency Project by Gerhard Peters and John T. Woolley&lt;/small&gt;

* In this same month ninety-five years ago-on March 30, 1870&amp;nbsp;— the Constitution of the United States was amended for the fifteenth time to guarantee that no citizen of our land should be denied the right to vote because of race or color. The command of the [[w:Fifteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fifteenth Amendment]] is unequivocal and its equal force upon State Governments and the Federal Government is unarguable. Section 1 of this Amendment provides: The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude.

* By the oath I have taken &quot;to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States,&quot; duty directs&amp;nbsp;— and strong personal conviction impels&amp;nbsp;— that I advise the Congress that action is necessary, and necessary now, if the Constitution is to be upheld and the rights of all citizens are not to be mocked, abused and denied. I must regretfully report to the Congress the following facts: &lt;br /&gt; 1. That the Fifteenth Amendment of our Constitution is today being systematically and willfully circumvented in certain State and local jurisdictions of our Nation.&lt;br /&gt;2. That representatives of such State and local governments acting &quot;under the color of law,&quot; are denying American citizens the right to vote on the sole basis of race or color.&lt;br /&gt;3. That, as a result of these practices, in some areas of our country today no significant number of American citizens of the Negro race can be registered to vote except upon the intervention and order of a Federal Court.&lt;br /&gt;4. That the remedies available under law to citizens thus denied their Constitutional rights&amp;nbsp;— and the authority presently available to the Federal Government to act in their behalf&amp;nbsp;— are clearly inadequate.&lt;br /&gt;5. That the denial of these rights and the frustration of efforts to obtain meaningful relief from such denial without undue delay is contributing to the creation of conditions which are both inimical to our domestic order and tranquillity and incompatible with the standards of equal justice and individual dignity on which our society stands.&lt;br /&gt;I am, therefore, calling upon the Congress to discharge the duty authorized in Section 2 of the Fifteenth Amendment &quot;to enforce this Article by appropriate legislation.&quot;

* The essence of our American tradition of State and local governments is the belief expressed by [[Thomas Jefferson]] that '''Government is best which is closest to the people. Yet that belief is betrayed by those State and local officials who engage in denying the right of citizens to vote. Their actions serve only to assure that their State governments and local governments shall be remote from the people, least representative of the people's will and least responsive to the people's wishes.'''

* The challenge now presented is more than a challenge to our Constitution&amp;nbsp;— it is a blatant affront to the conscience of this generation of Americans. Discrimination based on race or color is reprehensible and intolerable to the great American majority. In every national forum, where they have chosen to test popular sentiment, defenders of discrimination have met resounding rejection. Americans now are not willing that the acid of the few shall be allowed to corrode the souls of the many.

* '''The purposeful many need not and will not bow to the willful few.'''

* In our system, '''the first right and most vital of all our rights is the right to vote.''' Jefferson described the elective franchise as &quot;the ark of our safety.&quot; '''It is from the exercise of this right that the guarantee of all our other rights flows. Unless the right to vote be secure and undenied, all other rights are insecure and subject to denial for all our citizens. The challenge to this right is a challenge to America itself. We must meet this challenge as decisively as we would meet a challenge mounted against our land from enemies abroad.'''

* In the world, America stands for&amp;nbsp;— and works for&amp;nbsp;— the right of all men to govern themselves through free, uninhibited elections. An ink bottle broken against an American Embassy, a fire set in an American library, an insult committed against our American flag, anywhere in the world, does far less injury to our country and our cause than the discriminatory denial of the right of any American citizen at home to vote on the basis of race or color.

* The issue presented by the present challenge to our Constitution and our conscience transcends legalism, although it does not transcend the law itself. '''We are challenged to demonstrate that there are no sanctuaries within our law for those who flaunt it. We are challenged, also, to demonstrate by our prompt, fitting and adequate response now that the hope of our system is not force, not arms, not the might of militia or marshals-but the law itself.'''

* Unless we act anew, with dispatch and resolution, we shall sanction a sad and sorrowful course for the future. For if the Fifteenth Amendment is successfully flouted today, tomorrow the [[First Amendment to the United States Constitution|First Amendment]], the [[w:Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fourth Amendment]], the [[Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fifth Amendment]]-the [[w:Sixth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Sixth]], the [[w:Eighth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Eighth]], indeed, [[United States Constitution|all the provisions of the Constitution]] on which our system stands&amp;nbsp;— will be subject to disregard and erosion. Our essential strength as a society governed by the rule of law will be crippled and corrupted and the unity of our system hollowed out and left meaningless.

* Our purpose is not&amp;nbsp;— and shall never be-either the quest for power or the desire to punish. We seek to increase the power of the people over all their governments, not to enhance the power of the Federal Government over any of the people. For the life of this Republic, '''our people have zealously guarded their liberty against abuses of power by their governments. The one weapon they have used is the mightiest weapon in the arsenal of democracy&amp;nbsp;— the vote. This has been enough, for as [[Woodrow Wilson]] said, &quot;The instrument of all reform in America is the ballot.&quot;'''

* '''A people divided over the right to vote can never build a Nation united.'''

* '''We cannot have government for all the people until we first make certain it is government of and by all the people.'''

====The American Promise (1965)====
[[File:Andrew Johnson impeachment trial.jpg|thumb|Our mission is at once the oldest and the most basic of this country: to right wrong, to do justice, to serve man.]]
[[File:Voting Victories.jpg|thumb|It is all of us, who must overcome the crippling legacy of bigotry and injustice. And we shall overcome.]]
[[File:Bloody Sunday-Alabama police attack.jpeg|thumb|At the real heart of battle for equality is a deep-seated belief in the democratic process. Equality depends not on the force of arms or tear gas but upon the force of moral right; not on recourse to violence but on respect for law and order.]]
[[File:LBJ National Portrait Gallery.jpg|thumb|We seek and pray for peace. We seek order. We seek unity. But we will not accept the peace of stifled rights, or the order imposed by fear, or the unity that stifles protest. For peace cannot be purchased at the cost of liberty.]]
[[File:37 Lyndon Johnson 3x4.jpg|thumb|I do not want to be the President who built empires, or sought grandeur, or extended dominion. I want to be the President who educated young children to the wonders of their world. I want to be the President who [...] ]]
:&lt;small&gt;Address to the US Congress [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/special-message-the-congress-the-american-promise Lyndon B. Johnson: &quot;Special Message to the Congress: The American Promise&quot; (15 March 1965) online at The American Presidency Project by Gerhard Peters and John T. Woolley]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I speak tonight for the [[dignity]] of [[Humanity|man]] and the [[destiny]] of [[democracy]].''' &lt;br /&gt; I urge every member of both parties, Americans of all religions and of all colors, from every section of this country, to join me in that cause. &lt;br /&gt; '''At times history and fate meet at a single time in a single place to shape a turning point in man's unending search for freedom.''' So it was at [[w:Battles of Lexington and Concord|Lexington and Concord]]. So it was a century ago at [[w:Battle of Appomattox Court House|Appomattox]]. So it was last week in [[w:Selma to Montgomery marches|Selma, Alabama]]. There, long-suffering men and women peacefully protested the denial of their rights as Americans. Many were brutally assaulted. One good man, a man of God, was killed.

* '''Our mission is at once the oldest and the most basic of this country: to right wrong, to do justice, to serve man.''' &lt;br /&gt; In our time we have come to live with moments of great crisis. Our lives have been marked with debate about great issues; issues of war and peace, issues of prosperity and depression. But rarely in any time does an issue lay bare the secret heart of America itself. Rarely are we met with a challenge, not to our growth or abundance, our welfare or our security, but rather to the values and the purposes and the meaning of our beloved Nation. '''The issue of equal rights for American Negroes''' is such an issue. And '''should we defeat every enemy, should we double our wealth and conquer the stars, and still be unequal to this issue, then we will have failed as a people and as a nation. For with a country as with a person, &quot;What is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?&quot;'''.

* '''There is no Negro problem. There is no Southern problem. There is no Northern problem. There is only an American problem. And we are met here tonight as Americans&amp;nbsp;— not as Democrats or Republicans-we are met here as Americans to solve that problem.'''

* '''This was the first nation in the history of the world to be founded with a purpose. The great phrases of that purpose still sound in every American heart, North and South: &quot;[[United States Declaration of Independence|All men are created equal]]&quot;&amp;nbsp;— &quot;[[United States Declaration of Independence|government by consent of the governed]]&quot;&amp;nbsp;— &quot;[[Patrick Henry#&quot;Give_me_liberty,_or_give_me_death!&quot;_(1775)|give me liberty or give me death.]]&quot; Well, those are not just clever words, or those are not just empty theories.''' In their name Americans have fought and died for two centuries, and tonight around the world they stand there as guardians of our liberty, risking their lives. &lt;br /&gt; '''Those words are a promise to every citizen that he shall share in the dignity of man. This dignity cannot be found in a man's possessions; it cannot be found in his power, or in his position. It really rests on his right to be treated as a man equal in opportunity to all others. It says that he shall share in freedom, he shall choose his leaders, educate his children, and provide for his family according to his ability and his merits as a human being.''' &lt;br /&gt;  To apply any other test&amp;ndash;to deny a man his hopes because of his color or race, his religion or the place of his birth&amp;nbsp;— is not only to do injustice, it is to deny America and to dishonor the dead who gave their lives for American freedom. Our fathers believed that if this noble view of the rights of man was to flourish, it must be rooted in democracy. The most basic right of all was the right to choose your own leaders. The history of this country, in large measure, is the history of the expansion of that right to all of our people.

* Many of the issues of civil rights are very complex and most difficult. But about this there can and should be no argument : '''Every American citizen must have an equal right to vote. There is no reason which can excuse the denial of that right. There is no duty which weighs more heavily on us than the duty we have to ensure that right.''' &lt;br /&gt;Yet the harsh fact is that in many places in this country men and women are kept from voting simply because they are Negroes. &lt;br /&gt; Every device of which human ingenuity is capable has been used to deny this right. The Negro citizen may go to register only to be told that the day is wrong, or the hour is late, or the official in charge is absent. And if he persists, and if he manages to present himself to the registrar, he may be disqualified because he did not spell out his middle name or because he abbreviated a word on the application. &lt;br /&gt; And if he manages to fill out an application he is given a test. The registrar is the sole judge of whether he passes this test. He may be asked to recite the entire Constitution, or explain the most complex provisions of State law. And even a college degree cannot be used to prove that he can read and write. &lt;br /&gt; For the fact is that the only way to pass these barriers is to show a white skin.
 
* Experience has clearly shown that the existing process of law cannot overcome systematic and ingenious discrimination. No law that we now have on the books-and I have helped to put three of them there — can ensure the right to vote when local officials are determined to deny it. &lt;br /&gt; In such a case our duty must be clear to all of us.  '''The Constitution says that no person shall be kept from voting because of his race or his color.''' We have all sworn an oath before God to support and to defend that Constitution. We must now act in obedience to that oath.

* Open your polling places to all your [[people]]. &lt;br /&gt; Allow men and women to register and [[vote]] whatever the color of their skin. &lt;br /&gt; Extend the rights of citizenship to every citizen of this land. &lt;br /&gt; There is no constitutional issue here. The command of [[United States Constitution|the Constitution]] is plain. &lt;br /&gt; There is no [[moral]] issue. It is wrong — deadly wrong — to deny any of your fellow Americans the right to vote in this country. &lt;br /&gt; There is no issue of States rights or national rights. There is only the struggle for [[human rights]].

* The last time a President sent a civil rights bill to the Congress it contained a provision to protect voting rights in Federal elections. That civil rights bill was passed after 8 long months of debate. And when that bill came to my desk from the Congress for my signature, the heart of the voting provision had been eliminated. &lt;br /&gt; This time, on this issue, there must be no delay, no hesitation and no compromise with our purpose. &lt;br /&gt; We cannot, we must not, refuse to protect the right of every American to vote in every election that he may desire to participate in. And we ought not and we cannot and we must not wait another 8 months before we get a bill. We have already waited a hundred years and more, and the time for waiting is gone.

*  '''But even if we pass this bill, the battle will not be over.''' What happened in Selma is part of a far larger movement which reaches into every section and State of America. It is the effort of American Negroes to secure for themselves the full blessings of American life. Their cause must be our cause too. '''Because it is not just Negroes, but really it is all of us, who must overcome the crippling legacy of bigotry and injustice. And [[w:We Shall Overcome|we shall overcome]].'''

* As a man whose roots go deeply into Southern soil I know how agonizing racial feelings are. '''I know how difficult it is to reshape the attitudes and the structure of our society. But a century has passed, more than a hundred years, since the Negro was freed. And he is not fully free tonight. It was more than a hundred years ago that [[Abraham Lincoln]], a great president of [[Republican Party (United States)|another party]], signed the Emancipation Proclamation, but emancipation is a proclamation and not a fact. A century has passed, more than a hundred years, since equality was promised. And yet the Negro is not equal. A century has passed since the day of promise. And the promise is unkept. The time of justice has now come.''' I tell you that I believe sincerely that no force can hold it back. It is right in the eyes of man and God that it should come. And when it does, I think that day will brighten the lives of every American.

* For Negroes are not the only victims. How many white children have gone uneducated, how many white families have lived in stark poverty, how many white lives have been scarred by fear, because we have wasted our energy and our substance to maintain the barriers of hatred and terror? So I say to all of you here, and to all in the Nation tonight, that '''those who appeal to you to hold on to the past do so at the cost of denying you your future.''' This great, rich, restless country can offer opportunity and education and hope to all: black and white, North and South, sharecropper and city dweller. '''These are the enemies: poverty, ignorance, disease. They are the enemies and not our fellow man, not our neighbor. And these enemies too, poverty, disease and ignorance, we shall over, come.'''

* For '''at the real heart of battle for equality is a deep-seated belief in the democratic process. Equality depends not on the force of arms or tear gas but upon the force of moral right; not on recourse to violence but on respect for law and order.'''

* '''We must preserve the right of free speech and the right of free assembly. But the right of free speech does not carry with it, [[w:Schenck v. United States|as has been said, the right to holler fire in a crowded theater]]. We must preserve the right to free assembly, but free assembly does not carry with it the right to block public thoroughfares to traffic. We do have a right to protest, and a right to march under conditions that do not infringe the constitutional rights of our neighbors.''' And I intend to protect all those rights as long as I am permitted to serve in this office. We will guard against '''violence''', knowing it '''strikes from our hands the very weapons which we seek&amp;nbsp;— progress, obedience to law, and belief in American values.'''

* In Selma as elsewhere '''we seek and pray for peace. We seek order. We seek unity. But we will not accept the peace of stifled rights, or the order imposed by fear, or the unity that stifles protest. For peace cannot be purchased at the cost of liberty.'''

* '''All Americans must have the privileges of citizenship regardless of race.''' And they are going to have those privileges of citizenship regardless of race. But I would like to caution you and remind you that '''to exercise these privileges takes much more than just legal right. It requires a trained mind and a healthy body. It requires a decent home, and the chance to find a job, and the opportunity to escape from the clutches of poverty. Of course, people cannot contribute to the Nation if they are never taught to read or write, if their bodies are stunted from hunger, if their sickness goes untended, if their life is spent in hopeless poverty just drawing a welfare check. So we want to open the gates to opportunity. But we are also going to give all our people, black and white, the help that they need to walk through those gates.'''

* This is the richest and most powerful country which ever occupied the globe. The might of past empires is little compared to ours. But '''I do not want to be the President who built empires, or sought grandeur, or extended dominion. I want to be the President who educated young children to the wonders of their world. I want to be the President who helped to feed the hungry and to prepare them to be taxpayers instead of taxeaters. I want to be the President who helped the poor to find their own way and who protected the right of every citizen to vote in every election. I want to be the President who helped to end hatred among his fellow men and who promoted love among the people of all races and all regions and all parties. I want to be the President who helped to end war among the brothers of this earth.'''

* Above the pyramid on the great seal of the United States it says, in Latin: 'God has favored our undertaking.' God will not favor everything that we do. It is rather our duty to divine His will. But I cannot help believing that He truly understands and that He really favors the undertaking that we begin here tonight.

====Voting Rights Act signing speech (1965)====
[[File:LyndonJohnson signs Voting Rights Act of 1965.jpg|thumb|It is not enough just to give men rights. They must be able to use those rights in their personal pursuit of happiness.]]
{{Smallcite|[http://www.lbjlib.utexas.edu/johnson/archives.hom/speeches.hom/650806.asp President Lyndon B. Johnson's Remarks in the Capitol Rotunda at the Signing of the Voting Rights Act (August 6, 1965)]. Source: Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: Lyndon B. Johnson, 1965. Volume II, entry 394, pp. 811-815. Washington, D. C.: Government Printing Office, 1966.}}
* In 1957, as the leader of the majority in the United States Senate, speaking in support of legislation to guarantee '''the right of all men to vote''', I said, &quot;'''This right to vote is the basic right without which all others are meaningless. It gives people, people as individuals, control over their own destinies.'''&quot;

* This law covers many pages. But the heart of the act is plain. Wherever, by clear and objective standards, States and counties are using regulations, or laws, or tests to deny the right to vote, then they will be struck down. If it is clear that State officials still intend to discriminate, then Federal examiners will be sent in to register all eligible voters. When the prospect of discrimination is gone, the examiners will be immediately withdrawn. And, under this act, if any county anywhere in this Nation does not want Federal intervention it need only open its polling places to all of its people.

* Presidents and Congresses, laws and [[lawsuit]]s can open the doors to the polling places and open the doors to the wondrous rewards which await the wise use of the ballot. '''But only''' the individual Negro, and '''all''' others '''who have been denied the right to vote, can really walk through those doors, and can use that right, and can transform the vote into an instrument of justice and fulfillment.'''

* If you do this, then you will find, as others have found before you, that '''the vote is the most powerful instrument ever devised by man for breaking down injustice and destroying the terrible walls which imprison men because they are different from other men.'''

* For '''it is not enough just to give men rights. They must be able to use those rights in their personal pursuit of happiness.'''

* '''There is no room for injustice anywhere in the American mansion. But there is always room for understanding toward those who see the old ways crumbling. And to them, today, I simply say this: It must come. It is right that it should come. And when it has, you will find that a burden has been lifted from your shoulders, too.'''

==== Remarks at the signing of the Immigration Bill (1965)====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.lbjlibrary.org/lyndon-baines-johnson/timeline/lbj-on-immigration Remarks at the Signing of the Immigration Bill (3 October 1965)]&lt;/small&gt;
* Mr. Vice President, Mr. Speaker, Mr. Ambassador Goldberg, distinguished Members of the leadership of the Congress, distinguished Governors and mayors, my fellow countrymen. We have called the Congress here this afternoon not only to mark a very historic occasion, but to settle a very old issue that is in dispute. That issue is, to what congressional district does Liberty Island really belong; Congressman Farbstein or Congressman Gallagher? It will be settled by whoever of the two can walk first to the top of the Statue of Liberty. This bill that we will sign today is not a revolutionary bill. It does not affect the lives of millions. It will not reshape the structure of our daily lives, or really add importantly to either our wealth or our power. Yet it is still one of the most important acts of this Congress and of this administration. For it does repair a very deep and painful flaw in the fabric of American justice. It corrects a cruel and enduring wrong in the conduct of the American nation. Speaker McCormack and Congressman Celler almost 40 years ago first pointed that out in their maiden speeches in the Congress. And this measure that we will sign today will really make us truer to ourselves both as a country and as a people. It will strengthen us in a hundred unseen ways.

* I have come here to thank personally each Member of the Congress who labored so long and so valiantly to make this occasion come true today, and to make this bill a reality. I cannot mention all their names, for it would take much too long, but my gratitude; and that of this Nation; belongs to the 89th Congress. We are indebted, too, to the vision of the late beloved President John Fitzgerald Kennedy, and to the support given to this measure by the then Attorney General and now Senator, Robert F. Kennedy. In the final days of consideration, this bill had no more able champion than the present Attorney General, Nicholas Katzenbach, who, with New York's own &quot;Manny&quot; Celler, and Senator Ted Kennedy of Massachusetts, and Congressman Feighan of Ohio, and Senator Mansfield and Senator Dirksen constituting the leadership of the Senate, and Senator Javits, helped to guide this bill to passage, along with the help of the Members sitting in front of me today.

* This bill says simply that from this day forth '''those wishing to immigrate to America shall be admitted on the basis of their skills and their close relationship to those already here. This is a simple test, and it is a fair test. Those who can contribute most to this country; to its growth, to its strength, to its spirit; will be the first that are admitted to this land. The fairness of this standard is so self-evident that we may well wonder that it has not always been applied. Yet the fact is that for over four decades the immigration policy of the United States has been twisted and has been distorted by the harsh injustice of the national origins quota system. Under that system the ability of new immigrants to come to America depended upon the country of their birth. Only 3 countries were allowed to supply 70 percent of all the immigrants. Families were kept apart because a husband or a wife or a child had been born in the wrong place. Men of needed skill and talent were denied entrance because they came from southern or eastern Europe or from one of the developing continents. This system violated the basic principle of American democracy; the principle that values and rewards each man on the basis of his merit as a man. It has been un-American in the highest sense, because it has been untrue to the faith that brought thousands to these shores even before we were a country. Today, with my signature, this system is abolished. We can now believe that it will never again shadow the gate to the American nation with the twin barriers of prejudice and privilege. Our beautiful America was built by a nation of strangers. From a hundred different places or more they have poured forth into an empty land, joining and blending in one mighty and irresistible tide. The land flourished because it was fed from so many sources; because it was nourished by so many cultures and traditions and peoples. And from this experience, almost unique in the history of nations, has come America's attitude toward the rest of the world. We, because of what we are, feel safer and stronger in a world as varied as the people who make it up; a world where no country rules another and all countries can deal with the basic problems of human dignity and deal with those problems in their own way. Now, under the monument which has welcomed so many to our shores, the American nation returns to the finest of its traditions today. The days of unlimited immigration are past. But those who do come will come because of what they are, and not because of the land from which they sprung'''.

* When the earliest settlers poured into a wild continent there was no one to ask them where they came from. '''The only question was: Were they sturdy enough to make the journey, were they strong enough to clear the land, were they enduring enough to make a home for freedom, and were they brave enough to die for liberty if it became necessary to do so? And so it has been through all the great and testing moments of American history. Our history this year we see in Vietnam. Men there are dying; men named Fernandez and Zajac and Zelinko and Mariano and McCormick. Neither the enemy who killed them nor the people whose independence they have fought to save ever asked them where they or their parents came from. They were all Americans. It was for free men and for America that they gave their all, they gave their lives and selves. By eliminating that same question as a test for immigration the Congress proves ourselves worthy of those men and worthy of our own traditions as a nation'''.

* So it is in that spirit that I declare this afternoon to the people of Cuba that those who seek refuge here in America will find it. The dedication of America to our traditions as an asylum for the oppressed is going to be upheld. I have directed the Departments of State and Justice and Health, Education, and Welfare to immediately make all the necessary arrangements to permit those in Cuba who seek freedom to make an orderly entry into the United States of America. Our first concern will be with those Cubans who have been separated from their children and their parents and their husbands and their wives and that are now in this country. Our next concern is with those who are imprisoned for political reasons. And I will send to the Congress tomorrow a request for supplementary funds of $12,600,000 to carry forth the commitment that I am making today. I am asking the Department of State to seek through the Swiss government immediately the agreement of the Cuban government in a request to the President of the International Red Cross Committee. The request is for the assistance of the Committee in processing the movement of refugees from Cuba to Miami. Miami will serve as a port of entry and a temporary stopping place for refugees as they settle in other parts of this country. And to all the voluntary agencies in the United States, I appeal for their continuation and expansion of their magnificent work. Their help is needed in the reception and the settlement of those who choose to leave Cuba. The Federal Government will work closely with these agencies in their tasks of charity and brotherhood. I want all the people of this great land of ours to know of the really enormous contribution which the compassionate citizens of Florida have made to humanity and to decency. And all States in this Union can join with Florida now in extending the hand of helpfulness and humanity to our Cuban brothers. The lesson of our times is sharp and clear in this movement of people from one land to another. Once again, it stamps the mark of failure on a regime when many of its citizens voluntarily choose to leave the land of their birth for a more hopeful home in America. The future holds little hope for any government where the present holds no hope for the people. And so we Americans will welcome these Cuban people. For the tides of history run strong, and in another day they can return to their homeland to find it cleansed of terror and free from fear. Over my shoulders here you can see Ellis Island, whose vacant corridors echo today the joyous sound of long ago voices. And today we can all believe that the lamp of this grand old lady is brighter today; and the golden door that she guards gleams more brilliantly in the light of an increased liberty for the people from all the countries of the globe. Thank you very much.

====State of the Union Address (1966)====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://millercenter.org/president/speeches/speech-4035 State of the Union Address (12 January 1966).]&lt;/small&gt;
* Mr. Speaker, Mr. President, members of the House and the Senate, my fellow Americans. I come before you tonight to report on the State of the Union for the third time. I come here to thank you and to add my tribute, once more, to the nation's gratitude for this, the 89th Congress. This Congress has already reserved for itself an honored chapter in the history of America. Our nation tonight is engaged in a brutal and bitter conflict in Vietnam. Later on I want to discuss that struggle in some detail with you. It just must be the center of our concerns. But we will not permit those who fire upon us in Vietnam to win a victory over the desires and the intentions of all the American people. This nation is mighty enough, its society is healthy enough, its people are strong enough, to pursue our goals in the rest of the world while still building a Great Society here at home. And that is what I have come here to ask of you tonight.

* I recommend that you provide the resources to carry forward, with full vigor, the great health and education programs that you enacted into law last year. I recommend that we prosecute with vigor and determination our war on poverty. I recommend that you give a new and daring direction to our foreign aid program, designed to make a maximum attack on hunger and disease and ignorance in those countries that are determined to help themselves, and to help those nations that are trying to control population growth. I recommend that you make it possible to expand trade between the United States and Eastern Europe and the Soviet Union. I recommend to you a program to rebuild completely, on a scale never before attempted, entire central and slum areas of several of our cities in America. I recommend that you attack the wasteful and degrading poisoning of our rivers, and, as the cornerstone of this effort, clean completely entire large river basins. I recommend that you meet the growing menace of crime in the streets by building up law enforcement and by revitalizing the entire federal system from prevention to probation. I recommend that you take additional steps to insure equal justice to all of our people by effectively enforcing nondiscrimination in federal and state jury selection, by making it a serious federal crime to obstruct public and private efforts to secure civil rights, and by outlawing discrimination in the sale and rental of housing. I recommend that you help me modernize and streamline the federal government by creating a new Cabinet-level Department of Transportation and reorganizing several existing agencies. In turn, I will restructure our civil service in the top grades so that men and women can easily be assigned to jobs where they are most needed, and ability will be both required as well as rewarded. I will ask you to make it possible for members of the House of Representatives to work more effectively in the service of the nation through a constitutional amendment extending the term of a Congressman to four years, concurrent with that of the President. Because of Vietnam we cannot do all that we should, or all that we would like to do. We will ruthlessly attack waste and inefficiency. We will make sure that every dollar is spent with the thrift and with the commonsense which recognizes how hard the taxpayer worked in order to earn it. We will continue to meet the needs of our people by continuing to develop the Great Society. Last year alone the wealth that we produced increased $47 billion, and it will soar again this year to a total over $720 billion. Because our economic policies have produced rising revenues, if you approve every program that I recommend tonight, our total budget deficit will be one of the lowest in many years. It will be only $1.8 billion next year. Total spending in the administrative budget will be $112.8 billion. Revenues next year will be $111 billion. On a cash basis—which is the way that you and I keep our family budget—the federal budget next year will actually show a surplus. That is to say, if we include all the money that your government will take in and all the money that your government will spend, your government next year will collect one-half billion dollars more than it will spend in the year 1967. I have not come here tonight to ask for pleasant luxuries or for idle pleasures. I have come here to recommend that you, the representatives of the richest nation on earth, you, the elected servants of a people who live in abundance unmatched on this globe, you bring the most urgent decencies of life to all of your fellow Americans.

* There are men who cry out, 'We must sacrifice'. Well, let us rather ask them: Who will they sacrifice? Are they going to sacrifice the children who seek the learning, or the sick who need medical care, or the families who dwell in squalor now brightened by the hope of home? Will they sacrifice opportunity for the distressed, the beauty of our land, the hope of our poor? Time may require further sacrifices. And if it does, then we will make them. But we will not heed those who wring it from the hopes of the unfortunate here in a land of plenty. I believe that we can continue the Great Society while we fight in Vietnam. But if there are some who do not believe this, then, in the name of justice, let them call for the contribution of those who live in the fullness of our blessing, rather than try to strip it from the hands of those that are most in need. And let no one think that the unfortunate and the oppressed of this land sit stifled and alone in their hope tonight. Hundreds of their servants and their protectors sit before me tonight here in this great chamber. The Great Society leads us along three roads—growth and justice and liberation. First is growth—the national prosperity which supports the well-being of our people and which provides the tools of our progress. I can report to you tonight what you have seen for yourselves already—in every city and countryside. This nation is flourishing. Workers are making more money than ever—with after-tax income in the past five years up 33 percent; in the last year alone, up 8 percent. More people are working than ever before in our history—an increase last year of two and a half million jobs. Corporations have greater after-tax earnings than ever in history. For the past five years those earnings have been up over 65 percent, and last year alone they had a rise of 20 percent. Average farm income is higher than ever. Over the past five years it is up 40 percent, and over the past year it is up 22 percent alone.

* I was informed this afternoon by the distinguished Secretary of the Treasury that his preliminary estimates indicate that our balance of payments deficit has been reduced from $2.8 billion in 1964 to $1.3 billion, or less, in 1965. This achievement has been made possible by the patriotic voluntary cooperation of businessmen and bankers working with your government. We must now work together with increased urgency to wipe out this balance of payments deficit altogether in the next year. And as our economy surges toward new heights we must increase our vigilance against the inflation which raises the cost of living and which lowers the savings of every family in this land. It is essential, to prevent inflation, that we ask both labor and business to exercise price and wage restraint, and I do so again tonight. I believe it desirable, because of increased military expenditures, that you temporarily restore the automobile and certain telephone excise tax reductions made effective only 12 days ago. Without raising taxes—or even increasing the total tax bill paid—we should move to improve our withholding system so that Americans can more realistically pay as they go, speed up the collection of corporate taxes, and make other necessary simplifications of the tax structure at an early date.

* I hope these measures will be adequate. But if the necessities of Vietnam require it, I will not hesitate to return to the Congress for additional appropriations, or additional revenues if they are needed. The second road is justice. '''Justice means a man's hope should not be limited by the color of his skin'''. I propose legislation to establish unavoidable requirements for nondiscriminatory jury selection in federal and state courts—and to give the Attorney General the power necessary to enforce those requirements. I propose legislation to strengthen authority of federal courts to try those who murder, attack, or intimidate either civil rights workers or others exercising their constitutional rights—and to increase penalties to a level equal to the nature of the crime. Legislation, resting on the fullest constitutional authority of the federal government, to prohibit racial discrimination in the sale or rental of housing. For that other nation within a nation—the poor—whose distress has now captured the conscience of America, I will ask the Congress not only to continue, but to speed up the war on poverty. And in so doing, we will provide the added energy of achievement with the increased efficiency of experience. To improve the life of our rural Americans and our farm population, we will plan for the future through the establishment of several new Community Development Districts, improved education through the use of Teacher Corps teams, better health measures, physical examinations, and adequate and available medical resources.

* For those who labor, I propose to improve unemployment insurance, to expand minimum wage benefits, and by the repeal of section 14(b) of the Taft-Hartley Act to make the labor laws in all our states equal to the laws of the 31 states which do not have tonight right-to-work measures. And I also intend to ask the Congress to consider measures which, without improperly invading state and local authority, will enable us effectively to deal with strikes which threaten irreparable damage to the national interest. The third path is the path of liberation. It is to use our success for the fulfillment of our lives. A great nation is one which breeds a great people. A great people flower not from wealth and power, but from a society which spurs them to the fullness of their genius. That alone is a Great Society. Yet, slowly, painfully, on the edge of victory, has come the knowledge that shared prosperity is not enough. In the midst of abundance modern man walks oppressed by forces which menace and confine the quality of his life, and which individual abundance alone will not overcome. We can subdue and we can master these forces—bring increased meaning to our lives—if all of us, government and citizens, are bold enough to change old ways, daring enough to assault new dangers, and if the dream is dear enough to call forth the limitless capacities of this great people.

* This year we must continue to improve the quality of American life. Let us fulfill and improve the great health and education programs of last year, extending special opportunities to those who risk their lives in our armed forces. I urge the House of Representatives to complete action on three programs already passed by the Senate—the Teacher Corps, rent assistance, and home rule for the District of Columbia. In some of our urban areas we must help rebuild entire sections and neighborhoods containing, in some cases, as many as 100,000 people. Working together, private enterprise and government must press forward with the task of providing homes and shops, parks and hospitals, and all the other necessary parts of a flourishing community where our people can come to live the good life. I will offer other proposals to stimulate and to reward planning for the growth of entire metropolitan areas. Of all the reckless devastations of our national heritage, none is really more shameful than the continued poisoning of our rivers and our air. We must undertake a cooperative effort to end pollution in several river basins, making additional funds available to help draw the plans and construct the plants that are necessary to make the waters of our entire river systems clean, and make them a source of pleasure and beauty for all of our people. To attack and to overcome growing crime and lawlessness, I think we must have a stepped-up program to help modernize and strengthen our local police forces. Our people have a right to feel secure in their homes and on their streets—and that right just must be secured. Nor can we fail to arrest the destruction of life and property on our highways.

* I will propose a Highway Safety Act of 1966 to seek an end to this mounting tragedy. We must also act to prevent the deception of the American consumer—requiring all packages to state clearly and truthfully their contents—all interest and credit charges to be fully revealed—and keeping harmful drugs and cosmetics away from our stores. It is the genius of our Constitution that under its shelter of enduring institutions and rooted principles there is ample room for the rich fertility of American political invention. We must change to master change. I propose to take steps to modernize and streamline the executive branch, to modernize the relations between city and state and nation. A new Department of Transportation is needed to bring together our transportation activities. The present structure—35 government agencies, spending $5 billion yearly—makes it almost impossible to serve either the growing demands of this great nation or the needs of the industry, or the right of the taxpayer to full efficiency and real frugality. I will propose in addition a program to construct and to flight-test a new supersonic transport airplane that will fly three times the speed of sound—in excess of 2,000 miles per hour. I propose to examine our federal system-the relation between city, state, nation, and the citizens themselves. We need a commission of the most distinguished scholars and men of public affairs to do this job. I will ask them to move on to develop a creative federalism to best use the wonderful diversity of our institutions and our people to solve the problems and to fulfill the dreams of the American people. As the process of election becomes more complex and more costly, we must make it possible for those without personal wealth to enter public life without being obligated to a few large contributors. Therefore, I will submit legislation to revise the present unrealistic restriction on contributions—to prohibit the endless proliferation of committees, bringing local and state committees under the act—to attach strong teeth and severe penalties to the requirement of full disclosure of contributions—and to broaden the participation of the people, through added tax incentives, to stimulate small contributions to the party and to the candidate of their choice.

* To strengthen the work of Congress I strongly urge an amendment to provide a four-year term for Members of the House of Representatives—which should not begin before 1972. The present two-year term requires most members of Congress to divert enormous energies to an almost constant process of campaigning—depriving this nation of the fullest measure of both their skill and their wisdom. Today, too, the work of government is far more complex than in our early years, requiring more time to learn and more time to master the technical tasks of legislating. And a longer term will serve to attract more men of the highest quality to political life. The nation, the principle of democracy, and, I think, each congressional district, will all be better served by a four-year term for members of the House. And I urge your swift action. Tonight the cup of peril is full in Vietnam. That conflict is not an isolated episode, but another great event in the policy that we have followed with strong consistency since World War II. The touchstone of that policy is the interest of the United States—the welfare and the freedom of the people of the United States. But nations sink when they see that interest only through a narrow glass. In a world that has grown small and dangerous, pursuit of narrow aims could bring decay and even disaster. An America that is mighty beyond description—yet living in a hostile or despairing world—would be neither safe nor free to build a civilization to liberate the spirit of man. In this pursuit we helped rebuild Western Europe. We gave our aid to Greece and Turkey, and we defended the freedom of Berlin. In this pursuit we have helped new nations toward independence. We have extended the helping hand of the Peace Corps and carried forward the largest program of economic assistance in the world. And in this pursuit we work to build a hemisphere of democracy and of social justice. In this pursuit we have defended against Communist aggression—in Korea under President Truman—in the Formosa Straits under President Eisenhower—in Cuba under President Kennedy—and again in Vietnam.
*Tonight Vietnam must hold the center of our attention, but across the world problems and opportunities crowd in on the American Nation. I will discuss them fully in the months to come, and I will follow the five continuing lines of policy that America has followed under its last four Presidents. The first principle is strength. Tonight I can tell you that we are strong enough to keep all of our commitments. We will need expenditures of $58.3 billion for the next fiscal year to maintain this necessary defense might. While special Vietnam expenditures for the next fiscal year are estimated to increase by $5.8 billion, I can tell you that all the other expenditures put together in the entire federal budget will rise this coming year by only $0.6 billion. This is true because of the stringent cost-conscious economy program inaugurated in the Defense Department, and followed by the other departments of government. A second principle of policy is the effort to control, and to reduce, and to ultimately eliminate the modern engines of destruction. We will vigorously pursue existing proposals—and seek new ones—to control arms and to stop the spread of nuclear weapons. A third major principle of our foreign policy is to help build those associations of nations which reflect the opportunities and the necessities of the modern world. By strengthening the common defense, by stimulating world commerce, by meeting new hopes, these associations serve the cause of a flourishing world. We will take new steps this year to help strengthen the Alliance for Progress, the unity of Europe, the community of the Atlantic, the regional organizations of developing continents, and that supreme association—the United Nations. We will work to strengthen economic cooperation, to reduce barriers to trade, and to improve international finance.

* A fourth enduring strand of policy has been to help improve the life of man. From the Marshall Plan to this very moment tonight, that policy has rested on the claims of compassion, and the certain knowledge that only a people advancing in expectation will build secure and peaceful lands. This year I propose major new directions in our program of foreign assistance to help those countries who will help themselves. We will conduct a worldwide attack on the problems of hunger and disease and ignorance. We will place the matchless skill and the resources of our own great America, in farming and in fertilizers, at the service of those countries committed to develop a modern agriculture. We will aid those who educate the young in other lands, and we will give children in other continents the same head start that we are trying to give our own children. To advance these ends I will propose the International Education Act of 1966. I will also propose the International Health Act of 1966 to strike at disease by a new effort to bring modern skills and knowledge to the uncared—for, those suffering in the world, and by trying to wipe out smallpox and malaria and control yellow fever over most of the world during this next decade; to help countries trying to control population growth, by increasing our research—and we will earmark funds to help their efforts. In the next year, from our foreign aid sources, we propose to dedicate $1 billion to these efforts, and we call on all who have the means to join us in this work in the world.

* The fifth and most important principle of our foreign policy is support of national independence—the right of each people to govern themselves—and to shape their own institutions. For a peaceful world order will be possible only when each country walks the way that it has chosen to walk for itself. We follow this principle by encouraging the end of colonial rule. We follow this principle, abroad as well as at home, by continued hostility to the rule of the many by the few—or the oppression of one race by another. We follow this principle by building bridges to Eastern Europe. And I will ask the Congress for authority to remove the special tariff restrictions which are a barrier to increasing trade between the East and the West. The insistent urge toward national independence is the strongest force of today's world in which we live. In Africa and Asia and Latin America it is shattering the designs of those who would subdue others to their ideas or their will. It is eroding the unity of what was once a Stalinist empire. In recent months a number of nations have east out those who would subject them to the ambitions of mainland China. History is on the side of freedom and is on the side of societies shaped from the genius of each people. History does not favor a single system or belief—unless force is used to make it so. That is why it has been necessary for us to defend this basic principle of our policy, to defend it in Berlin, in Korea, in Cuba—and tonight in Vietnam.
* For tonight, as so many nights before, young Americans struggle and young Americans die in a distant land. Tonight, as so many nights before, the American Nation is asked to sacrifice the blood of its children and the fruits of its labor for the love of its freedom. How many times—in my lifetime and in yours—have the American people gathered, as they do now, to hear their President tell them of conflict and tell them of danger? Each time they have answered. They have answered with all the effort that the security and the freedom of this nation required. And they do again tonight in Vietnam. Not too many years ago Vietnam was a peaceful, if troubled, land. In the North was an independent Communist government. In the South a people struggled to build a nation, with the friendly help of the United States. There were some in South Vietnam who wished to force Communist rule on their own people. But their progress was slight. Their hope of success was dim. Then, little more than six years ago, North Vietnam decided on conquest. And from that day to this, soldiers and supplies have moved from North to South in a swelling stream that is swallowing the remnants of revolution in aggression. As the assault mounted, our choice gradually became clear. We could leave, abandoning South Vietnam to its attackers and to certain conquest, or we could stay and fight beside the people of South Vietnam. We stayed. And we will stay until aggression has stopped.

* We will stay because a just nation cannot leave to the cruelties of its enemies a people who have staked their lives and independence on America's solemn pledge—a pledge which has grown through the commitments of three American Presidents. We will stay because in Asia and around the world are countries whose independence rests, in large measure, on confidence in America's word and in America's protection. To yield to force in Vietnam would weaken that confidence, would undermine the independence of many lands, and would whet the appetite of aggression. We would have to fight in one land, and then we would have to fight in another—or abandon much of Asia to the domination of Communists. And we do not intend to abandon Asia to conquest.

* Last year the nature of the war in Vietnam changed again. Swiftly increasing numbers of armed men from the North crossed the borders to join forces that were already in the South. Attack and terror increased, spurred and encouraged by the belief that the United States lacked the will to continue and that their victory was near. Despite our desire to limit conflict, it was necessary to act: to hold back the mounting aggression, to give courage to the people of the South, and to make our firmness clear to the North. Thus. we began limited air action against military targets in North Vietnam. We increased our fighting force to its present strength tonight of 190,000 men. These moves have not ended the aggression but they have prevented its success. The aims of the enemy have been put out of reach by the skill and the bravery of Americans and their allies—and by the enduring courage of the South Vietnamese who, I can tell you, have lost eight men last year for every one of ours. The enemy is no longer close to victory. Time is no longer on his side. '''There is no cause to doubt the American commitment. Our decision to stand firm has been matched by our desire for peace.'''
*In 1965 alone we had 300 private talks for peace in Vietnam, with friends and adversaries throughout the world. Since Christmas your government has labored again, with imagination and endurance, to remove any barrier to peaceful settlement. For 20 days now we and our Vietnamese allies have dropped no bombs in North Vietnam. Able and experienced spokesmen have visited, in behalf of America, more than 40 countries. We have talked to more than a hundred governments, all 113 that we have relations with, and some that we don't. We have talked to the United Nations and we have called upon all of its members to make any contribution that they can toward helping obtain peace. In public statements and in private communications, to adversaries and to friends, in Rome and Warsaw, in Paris and Tokyo, in Africa and throughout this hemisphere, America has made her position abundantly clear. We seek neither territory nor bases, economic domination or military alliance in Vietnam. We fight for the principle of self-determination—that the people of South Vietnam should be able to choose their own course, choose it in free elections without violence, without terror, and without fear. The people of all Vietnam should make a free decision on the great question of reunification. This is all we want for South Vietnam. It is all the people of South Vietnam want. And if there is a single nation on this earth that desires less than this for its own people, then let its voice be heard. We have also made it clear—from Hanoi to New York—that there are no arbitrary limits to our search for peace. We stand by the Geneva Agreements of 1954 and 1962. We will meet at any conference table, we will discuss any proposals—four points or 14 or 40—and we will consider the views of any group. We will work for a cease-fire now or once discussions have begun. We will respond if others reduce their use of force, and we will withdraw our soldiers once South Vietnam is securely guaranteed the right to shape its own future. We have said all this, and we have asked—and hoped—and we have waited for a response. So far we have received no response to prove either success or failure.

* We have carried our quest for peace to many nations and peoples because we share this planet with others whose future, in large measure, is tied to our own action, and whose counsel is necessary to our own hopes. We have found understanding and support. And we know they wait with us tonight for some response that could lead to peace. I wish tonight that I could give you a blueprint for the course of this conflict over the coming months, but we just cannot know what the future may require. We may have to face long, hard combat or a long, hard conference, or even both at once. Until peace comes, or if it does not come, our course is clear. We will act as we must to help protect the independence of the valiant people of South Vietnam. We will strive to limit the conflict, for we wish neither increased destruction nor do we want to invite increased danger. But we will give our fighting men what they must have: every gun, and every dollar, and every decision—whatever the cost or whatever the challenge. And we will continue to help the people of South Vietnam care for those that are ravaged by battle, create progress in the villages, and carry forward the healing hopes of peace as best they can amidst the uncertain terrors of war. And let me be absolutely clear: The days may become months, and the months may become years, but we will stay as long as aggression commands us to battle. There may be some who do not want peace, whose ambitions stretch so far that war in Vietnam is but a welcome and convenient episode in an immense design to subdue history to their will. But for others it must now be clear—the choice is not between peace and victory, it lies between peace and the ravages of a conflict from which they can only lose.

* The people of Vietnam, north and south, seek the same things, the shared needs of man, the needs for food and shelter and education—the chance to build and work and till the soil, free from the arbitrary horrors of battle, the desire to walk in the dignity of those who master their own destiny. For many painful years, in war and revolution and infrequent peace, they have struggled to fulfill those needs. It is a crime against mankind that so much courage, and so much will, and so many dreams, must be flung on the fires of war and death. To all of those caught up in this conflict we therefore say again tonight, 'Let us choose peace, and with it the wondrous works of peace, and beyond that, the time when hope reaches toward consummation, and life is the servant of life'. In this work, we plan to discharge our duty to the people whom we serve. This is the State of the Union. But over it all—wealth, and promise, and expectation—lies our troubling awareness of American men at war tonight.

*'''How many men who listen to me tonight have served their nation in other wars? How very many are not here to listen? The war in Vietnam is not like these other wars. Yet, finally, war is always the same. It is young men dying in the fullness of their promise. It is trying to kill a man that you do not even know well enough to hate. Therefore, to know war is to know that there is still madness in this world'''.
*Many of you share the burden of this knowledge tonight with me. But there is a difference. For finally I must be the one to order our guns to fire, against all the most inward pulls of my desire. For we have children to teach, and we have sick to be cured, and we have men to be freed. There are poor to be lifted up, and there are cities to be built, and there is a world to be helped. Yet we do what we must. I am hopeful, and I will try as best I can, with everything I have got, to end this battle and to return our sons to their desires. Yet as long as others will challenge America's security and test the clearness of our beliefs with fire and steel, then we must stand or see the promise of two centuries tremble. I believe tonight that you do not want me to try that risk. And from that belief your President summons his strength for the trials that lie ahead in the days to come. The work must be our work now. Scarred by the weaknesses of man, with whatever guidance God may offer us, we must nevertheless and alone with our mortality, strive to ennoble the life of man on earth. Thank you, and goodnight.

====Statement on the Freedom of Information Act (1966)====
&lt;small&gt;[http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/?pid=27700.#axzz2foHNK9TC &quot;Statement by the President Upon Signing the &quot;Freedom of Information Act&quot; (4 July 1966) online at The American Presidency Project by Gerhard Peters and John T. Woolley]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''A democracy works best when the people have all the information that the security of the Nation permits. No one should be able to pull curtains of secrecy around decisions which can be revealed without injury to the public interest. At the same time, the welfare of the Nation or the rights of individuals may require that some documents not be made available.''' As long as threats to peace exist, for example, there must be military secrets. '''A citizen must be able in confidence to complain to his Government and to provide information, just as he is&amp;ndash;and should be&amp;ndash;free to confide in the press without fear of reprisal or of being required to reveal or discuss his sources.'''

* I have always believed that '''freedom of information is so vital that only the national security, not the desire of public officials or private citizens, should determine when it must be restricted.'''

* I signed this measure with a deep sense of pride that '''the United States is an open society in which the people's right to know is cherished and guarded.'''

====Letter to Ho Chi Minh (1967)====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/mod/1967-vietnam-letters1.html Letter from President Johnson to Ho Chi Minh, President of the Democratic Republic of Vietnam, February 8, 1967]&lt;/small&gt;
* I am writing to you in the hope that the conflict in Vietnam can be brought to an end. That conflict has already taken a heavy toll-in lives lost, in wounds inflicted, in property destroyed, and in simple human misery. If we fail to find a just and peaceful solution, history will judge us harshly.

* Therefore, I believe that we both have a heavy obligation to seek earnestly the path to peace. It is in response to that obligation that I am writing directly to you.

* We have tried over the past several years, in a variety of ways and through a number of channels, to convey to you and your colleagues our desire to achieve a peaceful settlement. For whatever reasons, these efforts have not achieved any results. . . .

* In the past two weeks, I have noted public statements by representatives of your government suggesting that you would be prepared to enter into direct bilateral talks with representatives of the U.S. Government, provided that we ceased &quot;unconditionally&quot; and permanently our bombing operations against your country and all military actions against it. In the last day, serious and responsible parties have assured us indirectly that this is in fact your proposal.

* Let me frankly state that I see two great difficulties with this proposal. In view of your public position, such action on our part would inevitably produce worldwide speculation that discussions were under way and would impair the privacy and secrecy of those discussions. Secondly, there would inevitably be grave concern on our part whether your government would make use of such action by us to improve its military position.

* With these problems in mind, I am prepared to move even further towards an ending of hostilities than your Government has proposed in either public statements or through private diplomatic channels. I am prepared to order a cessation of bombing against your country and the stopping of further augmentation of U.S. forces in South Viet-Nam as soon as I am assured that infiltration into South Viet-Nam by land and by sea has stopped. These acts of restraint on both sides would, I believe, make it possible for us to conduct serious and private discussions leading toward an early peace.

* I make this proposal to you now with a specific sense of urgency arising from the imminent New Year holidays in Viet-Nam. If you are able to accept this proposal I see no reason why it could not take effect at the end of the New Year, or Tet, holidays. The proposal I have made would be greatly strengthened if your military authorities and those of the Government of South Viet-Nam could promptly negotiate an extension of the Tet truce.

* As to the site of the bilateral discussions I propose, there are several possibilities. We could, for example, have our representatives meet in Moscow where contacts have already occurred. They could meet in some other country such as Burma. You may have other arrangements or sites in mind, and I would try to meet your suggestions.

* The important thing is to end a conflict that has brought burdens to both our peoples, and above all to the people of South Viet-Nam. If you have any thoughts about the actions I propose , it would be most important that I receive them as soon as possible.

====October surprise speech (1968)====
[[File:Flag of the United States (Pantone).svg|thumb|I am a free man, an American, a public servant, and a member of my party, in that order always and only.]]
[[File:Lbj2.jpg|thumb|We must always be mindful of this one thing, whatever the trials and the tests ahead. The ultimate strength of our country and our cause will lie not in powerful weapons or infinite resources or boundless wealth, but will lie in the unity of our people.]]
{{smallcite|[[w:October surprise|October surprise]] [http://millercenter.virginia.edu/scripps/diglibrary/prezspeeches/johnson/lbj_1968_0331.html address to the nation (31 March 1968)] Also known as ''The President's Address to the Nation Announcing Steps To Limit the War in Vietnam and Reporting His Decision Not To Seek Reelection'' Source: [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=28772&amp;st=&amp;st1=#axzz2gguIRFi1 Lyndon B. Johnson: &quot;The President's Address to the Nation Announcing Steps To Limit the War in Vietnam and Reporting His Decision Not To Seek Reelection,&quot; (31 March 1968) online at The American Presidency Project by Gerhard Peters and John T. Woolley]}}

* '''Of those to whom much is given, much is asked.''' I cannot say and no man could say that no more will be asked of us.
** An allusion to the [[w:Parable of the Faithful Servant|Parable of the Faithful Servant]]

* I believe that '''we must always be mindful of this one thing, whatever the trials and the tests ahead. The ultimate strength of our country and our cause will lie not in powerful weapons or infinite resources or boundless wealth, but will lie in the unity of our people.'''

* '''Throughout my entire public career I have followed the personal philosophy that I am a free man, an American, a public servant, and a member of my party, in that order always and only.''' For 37 years in the service of our Nation, first as a Congressman, as a Senator, and as Vice President, and now as your President, I have put the unity of the people first. I have put it ahead of any divisive partisanship. And in these times as in times before, it is true that '''a house divided against itself by the spirit of faction, of party, of region, of religion, of race, is a house that cannot stand.'''
** An allusion to the [[w:Lincoln's House Divided Speech|Abraham Lincoln's House Divided Speech]] and a reference to the Gospel of Matthew, 12:25: &quot;[Every] city or house divided against itself shall not stand.&quot;

* What we won when all of our people united just must not now be lost in suspicion, distrust, selfishness, and politics among any of our people. Believing this as I do, '''I have concluded that I should not permit the Presidency to become involved in the partisan divisions that are developing in this political year.''' With America's sons in the fields far away, with America's future under challenge right here at home, with our hopes and the world's hopes for peace in the balance every day, '''I do not believe that I should devote an hour or a day of my time to any personal partisan causes or to any duties other than the awesome duties of this office&amp;nbsp;— the Presidency of your country. Accordingly, I shall not seek, and I will not accept, the nomination of my party for another term as your President.'''

====Remarks on the Civil Rights Act (1968)====
* In the Civil Rights Act of 1964, we affirmed through law that men equal under God are also equal when they seek a job, when they go to get a meal in a restaurant, or when they seek lodging for the night in any State in the Union.

* In the Civil Rights Act of 1965, we affirmed through law for every citizen in this land the most basic right of democracy—the right of a citizen to vote in an election in his country. In the five States where the Act had its greater impact, Negro voter registration has already more than doubled.

* We all know that '''the roots of injustice run deep. But violence cannot redress a solitary wrong, or remedy a single unfairness.''' Of course, all America is outraged at the assassination of [[Martin Luther King, Jr.|an outstanding Negro leader]] who was at that meeting that afternoon in the White House in 1966. And America is also outraged at the looting and the burning that defiles our democracy. We just must put our shoulders together and put a stop to both. The time is here. Action must be now. So, I would appeal to my fellow Americans by saying, '''the only real road to progress for free people is through the process of law''' and that is the road that America will travel.
** [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=28799&amp;st=&amp;st1=#axzz2gguIRFi1 &quot;Remarks Upon Signing the Civil Rights Act (11 April 1968), online at The American Presidency Project by Gerhard Peters and John T. Woolley]

===1970s===
* It's probably better to have him inside the tent pissing out, than outside the tent pissing in.
** On FBI Director [[J. Edgar Hoover]], as quoted in ''[[w:The New York Times|The New York Times]]'' (31 October 1971)
{{Disputed begin}}

==Attributed==
[[File:A2738-19a_small.jpg|thumb|If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you.]]
[[File:Signing of the EOA.jpg|thumb|Negroes, they're getting pretty uppity these days and that's a problem for us since they've got something now they never had before, the political pull to back up their uppityness. Now we've got to do something about this.]]
[[File:Lyndon Johnson signing Medicare bill, with Harry Truman, July 30, 1965.jpg|thumb|I'll have them niggers voting [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democratic]] for two hundred years.]]
* I'll tell you what's at the bottom of it. If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you.
**As quoted in [http://pqasb.pqarchiver.com/washingtonpost/doc/307079109.html?FMT=ABS&amp;FMTS=ABS:FT&amp;date=Nov+13%2C+1988&amp;author=Moyers%2C+Bill+D&amp;desc=What+a+Real+President+Was+Like%3B+To+Lyndon+Johnson%2C+the+Great+Society+Meant+Hope+and+Dignity &quot;What a Real President Was Like: To Lyndon Johnson, the Great Society Meant Hope and Dignity&quot;], by [[Bill Moyers]], ''The Washington Post'' (13 November 1988)

* As long as you are black, and you're gonna be black till the day you die, no one's gonna call you by your goddamn name! So no matter what you are called, nigger, you just let it roll off your back like water, and you’ll make it! Just pretend you're a goddamn piece of furniture!
** Said to his chauffeur, Robert Parker, when Parker said he’d prefer to be referred to by his name rather than &quot;boy,&quot; &quot;nigger&quot; or &quot;chief.&quot; As quoted in {{cite book |last1=Parker |first1=Robert |last2=Rashke |first2=Richard L. |date=1989 |title=Capitol Hill in Black and White |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=JKhpZMj8Z6wC |location=United States |publisher=Penguin Group |page=v |isbn=0515101893 |accessdate=6 January 2015}}

* I'm going to have to bring up the nigger bill again.
** Said to a southern U.S. Senator upon the occasion of the Republicans re-introducing the Civil Right Act of 1957, according to LBJ's Special Counsel Harry McPherson. As quoted in {{cite interview|last=McPherson|first=Harry|interviewer=Michael L. Gillette|title=Transcript, Harry McPherson Oral History Interview VI, 5/16/85, by Michael L. Gillette, LBJLibrary|url=http://www.lbjlib.utexas.edu/johnson/archives.hom/oralhistory.hom/mcpherson/mcpher06.pdf|date=16 May 1985 |publisher=LBJ Presidential Library|location=Austin, Texas|page=2|accessdate=6 January 2015}}
* Let's face it. Our ass is in a crack. We're gonna have to let this nigger bill pass.
** Said to Senator John Stennis (D-MS) during debate on the Civil Rights Act of 1957. As quoted in {{cite book |last=Caro |first=Robert A. |date= 2002|title=The Years of Lyndon Johnson: Master of the Senate, Volume 3 |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=U87rzAqVhbwC |location=New York |publisher=Knopf |page=954 |isbn=0394528360 |accessdate=6 January 2015}}

* Sam, why don't you all let this nigger bill pass?
** Said to Speaker of the House Sam Rayburn (D-TX) regarding the Civil Rights Act of 1957. As quoted in {{cite book |last=Dallek |first=Robert |date=1991 |title=Lone Star Rising: Lyndon Johnson and His Times, 1908-1960 |url=http://books.google.com/books?id=t_LjEJdaAiYC |location=Oxford, England |publisher=Oxford University Press |page=519 |isbn=0195054350 |accessdate=5 July 2014}}

* These Negroes, they're getting pretty uppity these days and that's a problem for us since they've got something now they never had before, the political pull to back up their uppityness. Now we've got to do something about this, we've got to give them a little something, just enough to quiet them down, not enough to make a difference. For if we don't move at all, then their allies will line up against us and there'll be no way of stopping them, we'll lose the filibuster and there'll be no way of putting a brake on all sorts of wild legislation. It'll be Reconstruction all over again.
**Said to Senator Richard Russell, Jr. (D-GA) regarding the Civil Rights Act of 1957. As quoted in [http://books.google.com/books?id=HS9aAAAAYAAJ ''Lyndon Johnson and the American Dream''] (1977), by Doris Kearns Goodwin, New York: New American Library, p. 155

* Son, when I appoint a nigger to the court, I want everyone to know he's a nigger.
**Said to an aide in 1965 regarding the appointment of Thurgood Marshall as associate justice of the Supreme Court. As quoted in {{cite book |last=Dallek |first=Robert |date=1991 |title=Lone Star Rising: Lyndon Johnson and His Times, 1908-1960 |url=http://books.google.com/books?id=t_LjEJdaAiYC |location=Oxford, England |publisher=Oxford University Press |page=519 |isbn=0195054350 |accessdate=5 July 2014}}

* I'll have them niggers voting [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democratic]] for two hundred years.
** Allegedly said to two governors (whose names were not given) regarding the Civil Rights Act of 1964, according to then-''Air Force One'' steward Robert MacMillan. As quoted in [http://books.google.com/books?id=lJz-yIZNE2sC ''Inside the White House''] (1996), by Ronald Kessler, New York: Simon and Schuster, p. 33.
{{Disputed end}}
{{misattributed begin}}

== Misattributed ==
* We have just lost the South for a generation. ''or, sometimes quoted as:''
** I think we just delivered the South to the Republican Party for a long time to come.
** Very widely quoted as an aside to an aide, upon signing the [[w:Civil Rights Act of 1964|Civil Rights Act of 1964]]. For example, in a [https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2014/04/10/remarks-president-lbj-presidential-library-civil-rights-summit speech by Barack Obama at the LBJ Presidential Library] in 2014. But no report cites anyone who heard (or claims to have heard) LBJ say this, and the earliest attribution is 25 years after the fact. See [https://capitalresearch.org/article/we-have-lost-the-south-for-a-generation-what-lyndon-johnson-said-or-would-have-said-if-only-he-had-said-it/ &quot;We have lost the South for a generation&quot;: What Lyndon Johnson said, or would have said if only he had said it].
* When anyone says he’s a country boy, put your hand on your wallet.
** While Lyndon Johnson is reported to have said this (or a variation),  it was not original to him. ''See'' [http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/new_york_city/entry/when_anyone_says_hes_a_country_boy_you_better_put_your_hand_on_your_wallet barrypopik.com] and [https://books.google.com/books?id=WQNo7e3jjysC&amp;pg=PA215#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Texas, A Modern History: Revised Edition].
{{misattributed end}}

==Quotes about Johnson==
:&lt;small&gt;Sorted alphabetically by author or source&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Johnsonliberty.jpg|thumb|Like [[Martin Luther King, Jr.|Doctor King]], like [[Abraham Lincoln]], like countless citizens who have driven this country inexorably forward, President Johnson knew that ours in the end is a story of optimism, a story of achievement and constant striving that is unique upon this Earth. He knew because he had lived that story. He believed that together we can build an America that is more fair, more equal, and more free than the one we inherited. He believed we make our own destiny. And in part because of him, we must believe it as well. ~ [[Barack Obama]] ]]

* '''Chris Cillizza:''' If there is a list of the 15 greatest senators ever, is [[John McCain|McCain]] on it? Why or why not?&lt;br /&gt;'''Ross Baker:''' He’s not up there with [[Henry Clay|[Henry] Clay]], [[Daniel Webster|[Daniel] Webster]], [[John C. Calhoun|[John] Calhoun]], [[Charles Sumner|[Charles] Sumner]] and LBJ, but he’s a lot closer than [[Ted Cruz]] will ever be. Few senators in recent years, however, have had such a stupendous sendoff. He always had the media eating out of his hand. That’s no minor accomplishment.
** CNN article [https://www.cnn.com/2018/08/29/politics/mccain-greatest-senator/index.html ''The ‘thumbs down’ health care vote that enraged Trump is John McCain’s lasting legacy''] (29 August 2018)

*[[Robert F. Kennedy|Bobby]] doubted Johnson's liberalism, thought him insufficiently liberal. [[Ted Kennedy]] did not; in fact, Johnson's new liberal fervor seemed to have stoked Ted's and made him more liberal than he had been during his own brother's administration. He was catching the gust of liberal wind. And Johnson appreciated the support, even as he curried it.
**Neal Gabler, ''Catching the Wind: Edward Kennedy and the Liberal Hour'', 1932-1975 (2020), p. 256

*'''In this respect, [[Ted Kennedy]] was more like Lyndon Johnson than like his brothers. He was laying down his marker on the Senate as Johnson had. He was demonstrating that he could make the institution work.''' It was as if he was seeking to escape the politics of charisma that his brothers had personified and that had, arguably, cost them their lives; as if he was seeking reposition himself as a pol, not a messiah, burying himself in Senate drudgery, retreating into the institution, following Johnson's lead and Humphrey's, both of whom had been whips, protecting himself physically but also spiritually. It was totally uncharacteristic for a Kennedy to do so. No Kennedy had ever been an institutionalist, much less an errand boy.
** Neal Gabler, ''Catching the Wind: Edward Kennedy and the Liberal Hour'', 1932-1975 (2020), p. 434

* An extraordinarily gifted president who was the wrong man from the wrong place at the wrong time under the wrong circumstances.
** [[w:Eric F. Goldman|Eric F. Goldman]], ''The Tragedy of Lyndon Johnson'', Ch. 18 (1969)

* '''Johnson was a dirty [[fighter]].''' Any campaign with him in it would involve a lot of innuendo and lies. Johnson was a wheeler-dealer. Neither he nor anyone else could change that. That's what he was. And Johnson was a treacherous boot. He'd slap you on the back today and stab you in the back tomorrow. Moreover, LBJ was dull. He was a lousy public speaker. The man didn't believe half of what he said. He was a hypocrite, and it came through in the hollowness of his speech. LBJ made me sick.
** [[Barry M. Goldwater]], ''Goldwater'' (1988), co-written with Jack Casserly, p. 151

* The reaction to Bob Woodward’s new book ''Fear'' has been almost completely devoid of historical context. The very folks who are trying to convince us, based on Woodward’s account, that Donald Trump is unhinged are ignoring the fact that Trump is hardly the first American president to have temperamental deficiencies. Many of Trump’s alleged personality-related problems are not new in presidential history. Presenting his eccentricities as evidence of a constitutional crisis reflects a clear bias of omission by those doing the reporting.
** Philip G. Henderson in [https://www.theamericanconservative.com/donald-trump-crazy-like-lbj/ ''Donald Trump: Crazy Like LBJ''] (3 October 2018)

* Johnson was unquestionably an insecure man. A graduate of Southwest Texas State Teachers College, he’d forever felt inferior to anyone with an Ivy League degree, especially if their last name was Kennedy.
** Philip G. Henderson in [https://www.theamericanconservative.com/donald-trump-crazy-like-lbj/ ''Donald Trump: Crazy Like LBJ''] (3 October 2018)

* As noted previously, Lyndon Johnson and [[Woodrow Wilson]] are ranked among the top 11 presidents in American history. Yet how much did their personality flaws actually inhibit their overall records of accomplishment? The same question must be asked of [[Donald Trump]].
** Philip G. Henderson in [https://www.theamericanconservative.com/donald-trump-crazy-like-lbj/ ''Donald Trump: Crazy Like LBJ''] (3 October 2018)

*Even those who believe LBJ laid the groundwork for a more compassionate nation have to concede that the Great Society promised “an end to poverty and racial injustice,” which makes it, by definition, a failure. It was also an electoral loser for decades. Although Vietnam was the primary culprit, Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan were both elected, at least in part, because voters wanted law and order amidst a rising crime rate and heightened cultural anxiety and urban unrest. There was also the sense that the welfare state was too large and that big government liberalism had overreached its mandate.
** Matt Lewis in [https://www.thedailybeast.com/joe-biden-wants-to-be-lbj-but-lyndon-johnsons-presidency-was-a-disaster ''Joe Biden Wants to Be LBJ, but LBJ’s Presidency Was a Disaster''] (23 April 2021)

* Fast-forward to 2021: Joe Biden is riding high, and LBJ is back in vogue—as are many of the same issues he championed (in a sense, an ironic reminder of his failure to fix them). Voting rights and civil rights are front-page news. Police shootings and threats of riots abound. And we are spending money that would have made LBJ blush. Years of congressional gridlock and stasis have caused many to yearn for a “master of the Senate” who can steamroll the opposition and pass landmark legislation. Does Biden have what it takes to finally right our sinking ship?
** Matt Lewis in [https://www.thedailybeast.com/joe-biden-wants-to-be-lbj-but-lyndon-johnsons-presidency-was-a-disaster ''Joe Biden Wants to Be LBJ, but LBJ’s Presidency Was a Disaster''] (23 April 2021)

* Even if Biden avoids all of those dangers, Johnson’s legacy remains flawed. Biden might think he can simply give up on the war in Afghanistan, but the war on poverty is the real “forever war.” As the progressive outlet Mother Jones noted a few years ago, “The government’s official measure of poverty shows that poverty has actually increased slightly since the Johnson administration, rising from 14.2 percent in 1967 to 15 percent in 2012” (although if you include “additional non-cash government aid from safety net programs,” the poverty rate fell during that time). '''It is impressive that LBJ enacted nearly 200 new laws in such a short timespan. That copious output, coupled with its enduring legacy (Medicaid and Medicare, for example), make Johnson a consequential president.''' They do not, however, make him a good one. If the goal was to win the war on poverty, we didn’t achieve it—we are still stuck in a quagmire.
** Matt Lewis in [https://www.thedailybeast.com/joe-biden-wants-to-be-lbj-but-lyndon-johnsons-presidency-was-a-disaster ''Joe Biden Wants to Be LBJ, but LBJ’s Presidency Was a Disaster''] (23 April 2021)

* '''While Lyndon Baines Johnson was a man of time and place, he felt the bitter [[paradox]] of both.''' I was a young man on his staff in 1960 when he gave me a vivid account of that southern schizophrenia he understood and feared. We were in Tennessee. During the motorcade, he spotted some ugly racial epithets scrawled on signs. Late that night in the hotel, when the local dignitaries had finished the last bottles of bourbon and branch water and departed, he started talking about those signs. &quot;I'll tell you what's at the bottom of it,&quot; he said. &quot;If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Some years later when Johnson was president, there was a press conference in the East Room. A reporter unexpectedly asked the president how he could explain his sudden passion for [[civil rights]] when he had never shown much enthusiasm for the cause. The question hung in the air. I could almost hear his silent cursing of a press secretary who had not anticipated this one. But then he relaxed, and from an instinct no assistant could brief&amp;nbsp;— one seasoned in the double life from which he was delivered and hoped to deliver others&amp;nbsp;— '''he said in effect: Most of us don't have a second chance to correct the mistakes of our youth. I do and I am.''' That evening, sitting in the White House, discussing the question with friends and staff, he gestured broadly and said, &quot;[[Eisenhower]] used to tell me that this place was a [[prison]]. I never felt freer.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;In those days, our faith was in integration. The separatist cries would come later, as white flight and black power ended the illusion that an atmosphere of genuine acceptance and respect across color lines would overcome in our time the pernicious effects of a racism so deeply imbedded in American life. But Lyndon Johnson championed that faith. '''He thought the opposite of integration was not just segregation but disintegration&amp;nbsp;— a nation unraveling.'''
** [[Bill Moyers]], in [http://pqasb.pqarchiver.com/washingtonpost/doc/307079109.html?FMT=ABS&amp;FMTS=ABS:FT&amp;date=Nov+13%2C+1988&amp;author=Moyers%2C+Bill+D&amp;desc=What+a+Real+President+Was+Like%3B+To+Lyndon+Johnson%2C+the+Great+Society+Meant+Hope+and+Dignity &quot;What a Real President Was Like; To Lyndon Johnson, the Great Society Meant Hope and Dignity,&quot; ''The Washington Post'' (13 November 1988)]

* '''As a master of [[politics]] and the legislative process, he grasped like few others the power of [[government]] to bring about [[change]].''' …President Johnson liked power. He liked the feel of it, the wielding of it. But that hunger was harnessed and redeemed by a deeper understanding of the human condition; by a sympathy for the underdog, for the downtrodden, for the outcast. And it was a sympathy rooted in his own experience.
** [[Barack Obama]], in [http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2014/04/10/remarks-president-lbj-presidential-library-civil-rights-summit remarks by the President at LBJ Presidential Library Civil Rights Summit at Lyndon B. Johnson Presidential Library in Austin, Texas (10 April 2014)]

* As was true 50 years ago, there are those who dismiss the [[w:Great Society|Great Society]] as a failed experiment and an encroachment on liberty; who argue that government has become the true source of all that ails us, and that poverty is due to the moral failings of those who suffer from it. There are also those who argue, John, that nothing has changed; that racism is so embedded in our DNA that there is no use trying politics&amp;nbsp;— the game is rigged. Yes, it’s true that, despite laws like the [[w:Civil Rights Act of 1964|Civil Rights Act]], and the [[w:Voting Rights Act of 1965|Voting Rights Act]] and [[w: Medicare (United States)|Medicare]], our society is still racked with division and poverty. Yes, race still colors our political debates, and there have been government programs that have fallen short. In a time when cynicism is too often passed off as wisdom, it’s perhaps easy to conclude that there are limits to change; that we are trapped by our own history; and politics is a fool’s errand, and we’d be better off if we roll back big chunks of LBJ’s legacy, or at least if we don’t put too much of our hope, invest too much of our hope in our government. I reject such thinking. Not just because Medicare and Medicaid have lifted millions from suffering; not just because the poverty rate in this nation would be far worse without food stamps and Head Start and all the Great Society programs that survive to this day. I reject such cynicism because I have lived out the promise of LBJ’s efforts. Because [[Michelle Obama|Michelle]] has lived out the legacy of those efforts. Because my daughters have lived out the legacy of those efforts. Because I and millions of my generation were in a position to take the baton that he handed to us. Because of the Civil Rights movement, '''because of the laws President Johnson signed, new doors of opportunity and education swung open for everybody&amp;nbsp;— not all at once, but they swung open. Not just blacks and whites, but also women and Latinos; and Asians and Native Americans; and gay Americans and Americans with a disability. They swung open for you, and they swung open for me. And that’s why I’m standing here today&amp;nbsp;— because of those efforts, because of that legacy.''' And that means we’ve got a debt to pay. That means we can’t afford to be cynical. '''Half a century later, the laws LBJ passed are now as fundamental to our conception of ourselves and our democracy as the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. They are foundational; an essential piece of the American character.'''
** [[Barack Obama]], in remarks by the President at LBJ Presidential Library Civil Rights Summit at Lyndon B. Johnson Presidential Library in Austin, Texas (10 April 2014)

* '''In so many ways, he embodied America, with all our gifts and all our flaws, in all our restlessness and all our big dreams. This man&amp;nbsp;— born into poverty, weaned in a world full of racial hatred&amp;nbsp;— somehow found within himself the ability to connect his experience with the brown child in a small Texas town; the white child in Appalachia; the black child in Watts. As powerful as he became in that Oval Office, he understood them. He understood what it meant to be on the outside. And he believed that their plight was his plight too; that his freedom ultimately was wrapped up in theirs; and that making their lives better was what the hell the presidency was for.''' And those children were on his mind when he strode to the podium that night in the House Chamber, when he called for the vote on the Civil Rights law. “It never occurred to me,” he said, “in my fondest dreams that I might have the chance to help the sons and daughters of those students” that he had taught so many years ago, “and to help people like them all over this country. But now I do have that chance. And I’ll let you in on a secret&amp;nbsp;— I mean to use it. And I hope that you will use it with me.” '''That was LBJ’s greatness.''' That’s why we remember him. And if there is one thing that he and this year’s anniversary should teach us, if there’s one lesson I hope that Malia and Sasha and young people everywhere learn from this day, it’s that with enough effort, and enough empathy, and enough perseverance, and enough courage, people who love their country can change it.
** [[Barack Obama]], in remarks by the President at LBJ Presidential Library Civil Rights Summit at Lyndon B. Johnson Presidential Library in Austin, Texas (10 April 2014)

* '''Like [[Martin Luther King, Jr.|Dr. King]], like [[Abraham Lincoln]], like countless citizens who have driven this country inexorably forward, President Johnson knew that ours in the end is a story of optimism, a story of achievement and constant striving that is unique upon this Earth. He knew because he had lived that story. He believed that together we can build an America that is more fair, more equal, and more free than the one we inherited. He believed we make our own destiny. And in part because of him, we must believe it as well.'''
** [[Barack Obama]], in remarks by the President at LBJ Presidential Library Civil Rights Summit at Lyndon B. Johnson Presidential Library in Austin, Texas (10 April 2014)

* '''What are the similarities and differences between Presidents Johnson and Kennedy? Both are political pros who exude confidence and, generally speaking, embrace the same broad philosophies. But Kennedy was an idealist; Johnson is a pragmatist. Kennedy was a voracious reader, a stickler for detail; Johnson has little patience to read, he hits at the heart of a problem rather than get enmeshed in detail. Kennedy had little luck with Congress; Johnson's 32 years' experience on Capitol Hill caught him how to handle lawmakers. Kennedy's foreign-policy style had a continental touch; Johnson's has the flavor of a Texas barbeque.'''
** [[w:Bill Scott (voice actor)|Bill Scott]], ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20200429132839/https://www.upi.com/Archives/Audio/Events-of-1963/Transition-to-Johnson 1963 Year In Review: Transition to Johnson]'' by the United Press International]&lt;!--  Archived from the [https://www.upi.com/Archives/Audio/Events-of-1963/Transition-to-Johnson original] on April 29, 2020 --&gt; 

* He was just awful&amp;nbsp;— so jealous, so disagreeable and ugly.
** [[w:Charles F. Spalding|Charles F. Spalding]], in a 1997 interview with [[w:Seymour Hersh|Seymour Hersh]], cited in ''The Dark Side of Camelot'' (1997)

* I sleep each night a little better, a little more confidently because Lyndon Johnson is my President. For I know he lives and thinks and works to make sure that for all America and indeed, the growing body of the free world, the morning shall always come.
** [[Jack Valenti]], special assistant to the president, address before the Advertising Federation of America convention, Boston, Massachusetts (June 28, 1965), ''Congressional Record'' (July 7, 1965), vol. 111, Appendix, p. A3583

* Following the trail of some of these transactions resembles the action in a Western movie, where the cowboys ride off in a cloud of dust to the south, the herd stampedes northeastward, the Indians start to westward but, once out of sight, circle toward the north, the rustlers drift eastward and the cavalry, coming to the rescue, gets lost entirely—all over stony ground leaving little trace.
** Keith Wheeler and Michael Lambert, discussing Johnson's financial transactions, in &quot;The Man Who Is President,&quot; part 2, ''Life'' (August 21, 1964), p. 69

* Johnson who had compromised too many contradictions and now the contradictions were in his face: when he smiled the corners of his mouth squeezed gloom; when he was pious, his eyes twinkled irony; when he spoke in a righteous tone, he looked corrupt; when he jested, the ham in his jowls looked to quiver. He was not convincing. He was a Southern politician, a Texas Democrat, a liberal [[Eisenhower]]; he would do no harm, he would do no good, he would react to the machine, good fellow, nice friend&amp;nbsp;— the Russians would understand him better than his own. ...&amp;nbsp;Johnson gave you all of himself, he was a political animal, he breathed like an animal, sweated like one, you knew his mind was entirely absorbed with the compendium of political fact and maneuver.
** [[Norman Mailer]], ''[http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a3858/superman-supermarket/ Superman Comes to the Supermarket]'' (November 1960)

* [[John F. Kennedy|Kennedy]] promised. Johnson delivered.
** [[Arthur Schlesinger, Jr.]], ''The observer'' (20 Nov 1983)

* It was LBJ who pushed through the civil rights bills in 1957, 1964 and 1965 that finally gave African Americans the same rights (at least on paper) as white America. On the other hand, there can be no question that Johnson was a racist who looked down on people of color as inferior.
** Larry Schwartz, &quot;[http://www.alternet.org/civil-liberties/who-was-most-racist-modern-president-5-surprising-candidates-who-fit-bill Who Was the Most Racist Modern President? 5 Surprising Candidates Who Fit the Bill],&quot; AlterNet.org (28 December 2014)

* Johnson was a man of his time, and bore those flaws as surely as he sought to lead the country past them. For two decades in Congress he was a reliable member of the Southern bloc, helping to stonewall civil rights legislation.
** Adam Serwer, &quot;[http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/lyndon-johnson-civil-rights-racism Lyndon Johnson was a civil rights hero. But also a racist.]&quot; MSNBC.com (11 April 2014)&lt;!-- (Updated April 12, 2014) --&gt; 

*As one of our interviewers... says... once you kill a sitting president in high noon in Dealey Plaza and blow his head off, you're not going to go back to normal... After Kennedy was killed, and nobody asked... what was Kennedy's real policy on Vietnam? Well... he was going to pull out of Vietnam. He was very clear about it, and that's what people get confused.  Johnson, Lyndon Johnson, who took over the office went right to war quickly. He went to a far more aggressive posture of Vietnam, which resulted in more-- It was a lie, another lie, and that war was a disaster... Unfortunately, the same forces that made that war happen continued in our life, and they controlled us and pushed us into another war and another war and another war...  we propagandize an enemy, make him far bigger than he is, and I don't know what we're fighting. 
**[[Oliver Stone]],  [https://www.washingtonpost.com/washington-post-live/2021/05/12/transcript-conversation-with-oliver-stone/ Transcript: A Conversation with Oliver Stone,]   (streamed live [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5pgnQ2M9tg on youtube])  ''The Washington Post'' (12 May  2021)

* Lyndon Johnson had fallen into popular disfavor by the time Nixon succeeded him in the White House; but in succeeding Kennedy, winning a landslide over Goldwater, and pushing through Congress not only Kennedy's remaining initiatives but his own Great Society program, Johnson had been by late 1965 perhaps literally more powerful than any of his predecessors. The Tonkin Gulf resolution he maneuvered through Congress left him and for a while Nixon virtually a free hand in Indochina; and in waging one of the biggest wars in American history without Congressional declaration, Johnson notably expanded the already extensive &quot;war powers&quot; of the presidency.
** Tom Wicker, ''One Of Us: Richard Nixon and the American Dream'' (1991), p. 677

==See also==
* [[List of presidents of the United States]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wikisource author}}
{{Commons|Lyndon B. Johnson}}
* [http://www.whitehouse.gov/history/presidents/lj36.html White House biography]
* [http://www.millercenter.virginia.edu/index.php/academic/americanpresident/lbjohnson Extensive essay on Lyndon B. Johnson and shorter essays on each member of his cabinet and First Lady from the Miller Center of Public Affairs ]
* [http://www.lbjlib.utexas.edu/ Lyndon B. Johnson Library]
* [http://www.utexas.edu/lbj/index.php Lyndon B. Johnson School of Public Affairs, The University of Texas at Austin]
* [http://www.mrpophistory.com/samples.htm The 1960's Week-By-Week&amp;nbsp;— Follows Lyndon Johnson through the 1960's. Includes press conferences and other news]
* [http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/lbjletuscontinue.html Complete text and audio and video of Johnson's 'Let Us Continue' Speech]AmericanRhetoric.com
* [http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/lbjweshallovercome.htm Complete text and audio and video of Johnson's Voting Rights Legislation Address to Congress]AmericanRhetoric.com
* [http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/lbjvietman.htm Complete text and audio and video excerpt of Johnson's Vietnam and Renunciation Address]AmericanRhetoric.com
* [http://texashistory.unt.edu/search.tkl?type=subject&amp;q=Johnson,%20Lyndon%20B.&amp;q2=KWD Photos of Lyndon B. Johnson], hosted by the [http://texashistory.unt.edu/ Portal to Texas History]
* [http://www.whitehousetapes.org/pages/tapes_lbj.htm LBJ's secret White House recordings at University of Virginia's Miller Center of Public Affairs]
* [http://www.yale.edu/lawweb/avalon/presiden/inaug/johnson.htm Inaugural Address]
* [http://vvl.lib.msu.edu/showfindingaid.cfm?findaidid=JohnsonLB Audio recordings of Johnson's speeches]
* [http://www.npr.org/features/feature.php?wfId=1507155 ''White House Tapes: Eavesdropping on LBJ'', NPR Weekend Edition audio archives]
* [http://www.livefastdieyoungbook.com/outwalterjenkins.htm Walter Jenkins Scandal]
* [http://www.texasobserver.org/article.php?aid=855 LBJ: Master, or Puppet? The 'Texas Observer' story on Lyndon B. Johnson]
* [http://tigger.uic.edu/~rjensen/vietnam.html Vietnam War] bibliography and guide to online and printed sources
* {{gutenberg author| id=Lyndon+B.+Johnson|name=Lyndon B. Johnson}}
* [http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1507155 &quot;White House Tapes: Eavesdropping on LBJ&quot; at NPR]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Johnson, Lyndon B.}}

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      <text bytes="143503" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Lyndon B. Johnson, photo portrait, leaning on chair, color.jpg|thumb|Extend the [[rights]] of [[citizenship]] to every citizen of this land. &lt;br /&gt; There is no constitutional issue here. The command of [[United States Constitution|the Constitution]] is plain. &lt;br /&gt; There is no [[moral]] issue. It is wrong — deadly wrong — to deny any of your fellow Americans the right to vote in this country. &lt;br /&gt; There is no issue of States rights or national rights. There is only the struggle for [[human rights]].]]
'''[[w:Lyndon B. Johnson|Lyndon Baines Johnson]]''' ([[27 August]] [[1908]] &amp;ndash; [[22 January]] [[1973]]), often referred to by his initials '''LBJ''', was an [[United States|American]] [[w:Politics of the United States|politician]]. After serving a long career in U.S. legislatures, Johnson became the [[w:Vice President of the United States|vice president]] of the [[United States|United States of America]] under [[John F. Kennedy]], from 1961 to 1963. A [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democrat]], Johnson became the 36th [[w:President of the United States|U.S. president]], from 1963 to 1969, after [[w:John F. Kennedy assassination|Kennedy's assassination]].

== Quotes ==
[[File:Lyndon Johnson signing Civil Rights Act, July 2, 1964.jpg|thumb|At times history and fate meet at a single time in a single place to shape a turning point in man's unending search for freedom.]]
[[File:Levi Eshkol and President Johnson with honor guard 1964.jpg|thumb|The purpose of protecting the life of our Nation and preserving the liberty of our citizens is to pursue the happiness of our people. Our success in that pursuit is the test of our success as a Nation.]]
[[File:LBJ and JFK.jpg|thumb|The challenge of the next half century is whether we have the wisdom to use that wealth to enrich and elevate our national life, and to advance the quality of our American civilization….]]
[[File:1964 Blue Room Christmas Tree.jpg|thumb|Poverty must not be a bar to learning, and learning must offer an escape from poverty.]]
[[File:LBJ and RFK campaign 1964.jpg|thumb|There are no problems which we cannot solve together, and there are very few which any of us can settle by himself.]]
[[File:Chapmans Coffin.jpg|thumb|I do not find it easy to send the flower of our youth, our finest young men, into battle.]]
[[File:Ljohnson.jpeg|thumb|A democracy works best when the people have all the information that the security of the Nation permits. No one should be able to pull curtains of secrecy around decisions which can be revealed without injury to the public interest.]]
[[File:ArlingtonCemetery.jpg|thumb|To deny a man his hopes because of his color or race, his religion or the place of his birth is not only to do injustice; it is to deny America and to dishonor the dead who gave their lives for American freedom.]]
[[File:Visit of President Johnson in Vietnam.jpg|thumb|Freedom of information is so vital that only the national security, not the desire of public officials or private citizens, should determine when it must be restricted.]]
[[File:L B Johnson 1973 Issue-8c.jpg|thumb|The United States is an open society in which the people's right to know is cherished and guarded.]]
[[File:Lbjsigningbill.jpg|thumb|The only real road to progress for free people is through the process of law.]]
[[File:WhSouthLawn.JPEG|thumb|[[Dwight D. Eisenhower|Eisenhower]] used to tell me that this place was a prison. I never felt freer.]]
[[File:Seal of the United States Department of Justice.svg|thumb|Justice means a man's hope should not be limited by the color of his skin.]]
[[File:CH-53 landing at Defense Attaché Office compound, Operation Frequent Wind.jpg|thumb|The war in Vietnam is not like these other wars. Yet, finally, war is always the same. It is young men dying in the fullness of their promise. It is trying to kill a man that you do not even know well enough to hate. Therefore, to know war is to know that there is still madness in this world.]]
[[File:Vietnamese refugees on US carrier, Operation Frequent Wind.jpg|thumb|Make no mistake about it&amp;nbsp;... We are going to win.]]
[[File:Flag of South Vietnam.svg|thumb|The people of Vietnam, north and south, seek the same things. The shared needs of man, the needs for food and shelter and education, the chance to build and work and till the soil, free from the arbitrary horrors of battle, the desire to walk in the dignity of those who master their own destiny. For many painful years, in war and revolution and infrequent peace, they have struggled to fulfill those needs. It is a crime against mankind that so much courage, and so much will, and so many dreams, must be flung on the fires of war and death.]]

* '''Making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg. It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.'''
** Private comment, as quoted in ''Name-Dropping'' (1999) by [[John Kenneth Galbraith]], p. 149. &lt;!-- London: Aurum Press --&gt;

* If the circumstances make it such that you can't fuck a man in the ass, then just peckerslap him. Better to let him know who's in charge than to let him get the keys to the car.
** Private comment, found in ''White House Tapes: Eavesdropping on the President'' (2003) edited by John Prados.

* [[Dwight D. Eisenhower|Eisenhower]] used to tell me that this place was a prison. I never felt freer.
**As quoted in [http://pqasb.pqarchiver.com/washingtonpost/doc/307079109.html?FMT=ABS&amp;FMTS=ABS:FT&amp;date=Nov+13%2C+1988&amp;author=Moyers%2C+Bill+D&amp;desc=What+a+Real+President+Was+Like%3B+To+Lyndon+Johnson%2C+the+Great+Society+Meant+Hope+and+Dignity &quot;What a Real President Was Like: To Lyndon Johnson, the Great Society Meant Hope and Dignity&quot;], by [[Bill Moyers]], ''The Washington Post'' (13 November 1988)

* [Gerald] Ford's economics are the worst thing that's happened to this country since pantyhose ruined finger-fucking.
** As quoted in [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486585/ ''Fuck''] (2005)

===1940s===
* This civil rights program about which you have heard so much is a farce and a sham; an effort to set up a police state in the guise of liberty. I am opposed to that program. I fought it in the Congress. It is the province of the state to run its own elections. I am opposed to the anti-lynching bill because the federal government has no business enacting a law against one kind of murder than another&amp;nbsp;... If a man can tell you who you must hire, he can tell you who not to employ. I have met this head on.
** [http://www.arenajunkies.com/topic/190562-best-and-worst-president-of-the-century/page__st__20 Speech in Austin, Texas] (22 May 1948), as quoted in [http://www.arenajunkies.com/topic/190562-best-and-worst-president-of-the-century/page__st__20 ''Quotations from Chairman LBJ''] (1968)&lt;!-- New York: Simon and Schuster --&gt;

===1960s===
* '''This is a sad time for all people. We have suffered a loss that cannot be weighed. For me, it is a deep, personal tragedy. I know the world shares the sorrow that Mrs. Kennedy and her family bear. I will do my best; that is all I can do. I ask for your help and God's.'''
** First official statement as President after the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, televised live from Andrews Air Force Base (22 November 1963)

* I am so proud of our system of government, of our free enterprise, where our incentive system and our men who head our big industries are willing to get up at daylight and work until midnight to offer employment and create new jobs for people, where our men working there will try to get decent wages but will sit across the table and not act like cannibals, but will negotiate and reason things out together.
** [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=26108 &quot;Transcript of Television and Radio Interview Conducted by Representatives of Major Broadcast Services.,&quot;] (15 March 1964), online at The American Presidency Project by Gerhard Peters and John T. Woolley

* '''The challenge of the next half century is whether we have the wisdom to use that wealth to enrich and elevate our national life, and to advance the quality of our American civilization….&lt;br /&gt;The Great Society rests on abundance and liberty for all. It demands an end to poverty and racial injustice, to which we are totally committed in our time. But that is just the beginning.&lt;br /&gt;The Great Society is a place where every child can find knowledge to enrich his mind and to enlarge his talents. It is a place where leisure is a welcome chance to build and reflect, not a feared cause of boredom and restlessness. It is a place where the city of man serves not only the needs of the body and the demands of commerce but the desire for beauty and the hunger for community.&lt;br /&gt;It is a place where man can renew contact with nature. It is a place which honors creation for its own sake and for what it adds to the understanding of the race. It is a place where men are more concerned with the quality of their goals than the quantity of their goods.&lt;br /&gt;But most of all, the Great Society is not a safe harbor, a resting place, a final objective, a finished work. It is a challenge constantly renewed, beckoning us toward a destiny where the meaning of our lives matches the marvelous products of our labor.'''
** Remarks at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor (May 22, 1964). ''Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: Lyndon B. Johnson, 1963–64'', book 1, p. 704

* '''The purpose of protecting the life of our Nation and preserving the liberty of our citizens is to pursue the happiness of our people. Our success in that pursuit is the test of our success as a Nation.'''
** The Great Society (May 22, 1964). [https://web.archive.org/web/20210110235732/https://usa.usembassy.de/etexts/speeches/rhetoric/lbjgreat.htm Archived] from [https://usa.usembassy.de/etexts/speeches/rhetoric/lbjgreat.htm the original] on January 10, 2021.

* '''Poverty must not be a bar to learning, and learning must offer an escape from poverty.'''
** The Great Society (May 22, 1964). [https://web.archive.org/web/20210110235732/https://usa.usembassy.de/etexts/speeches/rhetoric/lbjgreat.htm Archived] from [https://usa.usembassy.de/etexts/speeches/rhetoric/lbjgreat.htm the original] on January 10, 2021.


* '''Fuck your parliament and your constitution. [[United States|America]] is an elephant. Cyprus is a flea. [[Greece]] is a flea'''. If these two fleas continue itching the elephant, they may just get whacked good&amp;nbsp;... We pay a lot of good American dollars to the Greeks, Mr. Ambassador. If your Prime Minister gives me talk about democracy, parliament and constitution, he, his parliament and his constitution may not last long&amp;nbsp;...
** Comment to the Greek ambassador to Washington, Alexander Matsas, over the Cyprus issue in June 1964. As quoted in ''I Should Have Died'' (1977) by Philip Deane, pp. 113-114

* Our government is united in its determination to take all necessary measures in support of [[freedom]] and in defense of [[peace]] in Southeast Asia.
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dx8-ffiYyzA Report on the Gulf of Tonkin Incident] (4 August 1964)

* '''And I just want to tell you this&amp;nbsp;— we're in favor of a lot of things and we're against mighty few.'''
** Campaign statement (1964), as quoted in ''The Making of the President, 1964'' (1966) by [[T. H. White]], p. 413. &lt;!-- New York: Signet Books --&gt;

* '''There are no problems which we cannot solve together, and there are very few which any of us can settle by himself.'''
** President Johnson's thirty-fourth news conference was held on the front lawn at the LBJ Ranch, Johnson City, Tex., at 10:45 a.m. on Saturday, November 28, 1964. Source: [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/the-presidents-news-conference-the-lbj-ranch-1 Lyndon B. Johnson, The President's News Conference at the LBJ Ranch. Online by Gerhard Peters and John T. Woolley from The American Presidency Project.]

* I am going to build the kind of nation that [[Franklin D. Roosevelt|President Roosevelt]] hoped for, [[Harry S. Truman|President Truman]] worked for and [[John F. Kennedy|President Kennedy]] died for.
** ''The Sunday Times'' (27 Dec 1964)

* The same society which receives the rewards of technology must, as a cooperating whole, take responsibility for control. To deal with these new problems will require a new conservation. We must not only protect the countryside and save it from destruction, we must restore what has been destroyed and salvage the beauty and charm of our cities. Our conservation must be not just the classic conservation of protection and development, but a creative conservation of restoration and innovation. Its concern is not with nature alone, but with the total relation between man and the world around him. Its object is not just man's welfare, but the dignity of man's spirit.
** ''Message to Congress on Conservation and Restoration of Natural Beauty'' written to Congress (8 Feb 1965), in ''Lyndon B. Johnson: Containing the Public Messages, Speeches, and Statements of the President'' (1965), Vol.1, 156. United States. President (1963-1969 : Johnson), Lyndon Baines Johnson, United States. Office of the Federal Register&amp;nbsp;— 1970

* The American city should be a collection of communities where every member has a right to belong. It should be a place where every man feels safe on his streets and in the house of his friends. It should be a place where each individual’s dignity and self-respect is strengthened by the respect and affection of his neighbors. It should be a place where each of us can find the satisfaction and warmth which comes from being a member of the community of man. This is what man sought at the dawn of civilization. It is what we seek today.
** Special message to the Congress on the nation's cities (March 2, 1965); reported in ''Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: Lyndon B. Johnson, 1965'', book 1, p. 240

* We don't propose to sit here in our rocking chair with our hands folded and let the Communists set up any government in the Western Hemisphere.
** Remarks to the 10th National Legislative Conference, Building and Construction Trades Department, AFL-CIO (May 3, 1965); reported in ''Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: Lyndon B. Johnson, 1965'', book 1, p. 480

* You do not wipe away the scars of centuries by saying, &quot;Now you are free to go where you want, and do as you [[desire]], and [[choose]] the [[leaders]] you please.&quot; &lt;br /&gt; You do not take a person who, for years, has been hobbled by chains and liberate him, bring him up to the starting line of a race and then say, &quot;You are free to [[compete]] with all the others,&quot; and still justly [[believe]] that you have been completely [[fair]]. &lt;br /&gt;Thus it is not enough just to open the gates of [[opportunity]]. All our [[citizens]] must have the [[ability]] to walk through those gates. And this is the next and the more profound stage of the battle for [[civil rights]]. &lt;br /&gt;We seek not just [[freedom]] but opportunity. We seek not just [[legal]] [[equity]] but [[human]] ability, not just [[equality]] as a [[right]] and a [[theory]], but equality as a [[fact]], and equality as a [[result]].
** Statement on affirmative action in the [https://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/lbjhowarduniversitycommencement.htm LBJ Commencement Address at Howard University] (4 June 1965)

* '''We do not want an expanding struggle with consequences, that no one can perceive, nor will we bluster or bully or flaunt our power, but we will not surrender and we will not retreat, for behind our American pledge lies the determination and resources, I believe, of all of the American nation.'''
** [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=27116 News Conference (28 July 1965)]

* '''I do not find it easy to send the flower of our youth, our finest young men, into battle.'''
** [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=27116 (28 July 1965)]

* I hope that you of the [[w:International Platform Association|IPA]] will go out into the hinterland and rouse the masses and blow the bugles and tell them that the hour has arrived and their day is here; that we are on the march against the ancient enemies and we are going to be successful.
** Remarks to the International Platform Association (August 3, 1965); reported in ''Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: Lyndon B. Johnson, 1965'', book 2, p. 822

* We know that most people's intentions are good. We don't question their motives; we've never said they're unpatriotic, although they say some pretty ugly things about us. And we believe very strongly on preserving the right to differ in this country, and the right to dissent; and if I have done a good job of anything since I've been president, it's to ensure that there are plenty of dissenters.
** [http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/vietnam/series/pt_10.html Statement (17 November 1967), as quoted in ''Vietnam: A Television History'' (1983) &quot;Homefront USA&quot; ]

* What did you expect? I don't know why we're so surprised. When you put your foot on a man's neck and hold him down for three hundred years, and then you let him up, what's he going to do? He's going to knock your block off.
** Regarding rioting (1968), as quoted in ''Judgment days: Lyndon Baines Johnson, Martin Luther King, Jr., and the laws that changed America'' (2005), by Nick Kotz, Boston: Houghton Mifflin. p. 417

{{Original recording|Remarks at a Meeting of the Alliance of Businessmen (March 1968), by Lyndon B. Johnson.oga}}
* Make no mistake about it. I don't want a man in here to go back home thinking otherwise; we are going to win.
** [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/?pid=28740 Remarks at a Meeting of the National Alliance of Businessmen (16 March 1968).]

* Our society is illuminated by the spiritual insights of the Hebrew prophets. America and Israel have a common love of human freedom, and they have a common faith in a democratic way of life.
**[http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/US-Israel/lbjpeace1.html From a speech on the state of the Middle East, September 10, 1968]

====Memorial Day speech (1963)====
[[File:A mosaic LAW by Frederick Dielman, 1847-1935.JPG|thumb|The law cannot save those who deny it but neither can the law serve any who do not use it. The history of injustice and inequality is a history of disuse of the law. Law has not failed&amp;ndash;and is not failing. We as a nation have failed ourselves by not trusting the law and by not using the law to gain sooner the ends of justice which law alone serves.]]
:&lt;small&gt;Remarks of Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson, Memorial Day, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania (May 30, 1963). Source: [http://www.lbjlib.utexas.edu/johnson/archives.hom/speeches.hom/630530.asp Press Release, &quot;5/30/63, Remarks by Vice President, Memorial Day, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania,&quot; Statements File, Box 80, LBJ Library.]&lt;/small&gt;
* '''On this hallowed ground, [[w:Batttle of Gettysburg|heroic deeds]] were performed and [[w:Gettysburg Address|eloquent words]] were spoken a century ago. We, the living, have not forgotten&amp;ndash;and the world will never forget&amp;ndash;the deeds or the words of Gettysburg. We honor them now''' as we join on this [[Memorial Day]] of 1963 '''in a prayer for permanent peace of the world and fulfillment of our hopes for universal freedom and justice.'''

* '''We are called to honor our own words of reverent prayer with resolution in the deeds we must perform to preserve peace and the hope of freedom. We keep a vigil of peace around the world. Until the world knows no aggressors, until the arms of tyranny have been laid down, until freedom has risen up in every land, we shall maintain our vigil to make sure our sons who died on foreign fields shall not have died in vain.'''

* As we maintain the vigil of peace, we must remember that '''justice is a''' vigil, too&amp;nbsp;— '''a vigil we must keep in our own streets and schools and among the lives of all our people&amp;nbsp;— so that those who died here on their native soil shall not have died in vain.'''

* '''One hundred years ago, the slave was freed. One hundred years later, the Negro remains in bondage to the color of his skin. The Negro today asks justice. We do not answer him'''&amp;nbsp;— we do not answer those who lie beneath this soil&amp;nbsp;— '''when we reply to the Negro by asking, &quot;Patience.&quot;'''

* '''It is empty to plead that the solution to the dilemmas of the present rests on the hands of the clock. The solution is in our hands.''' Unless we are willing to yield up our destiny of greatness among the civilizations of history, Americans&amp;nbsp;— white and Negro together&amp;nbsp;— must be about the business of resolving the challenge which confronts us now.

* '''Our nation found its soul in honor on these fields of Gettysburg one hundred years ago. We must not lose that soul in dishonor now on the fields of hate. To ask for patience from the Negro is to ask him to give more of what he has already given enough. But to fail to ask of him&amp;nbsp;— and of all Americans&amp;nbsp;— perseverance within the processes of a free and responsible society would be to fail to ask what the national interest requires of all its citizens.'''

* '''The law cannot save those who deny it but neither can the law serve any who do not use it. The history of injustice and inequality is a history of disuse of the law. Law has not failed&amp;nbsp;— and is not failing. We as a nation have failed ourselves by not trusting the law and by not using the law to gain sooner the ends of justice which law alone serves.''' If the white over-estimates what he has done for the Negro without the law, the Negro may under-estimate what he is doing and can do for himself with the law.

* If it is empty to ask Negro or white for patience, it is not empty&amp;nbsp;— it is merely honest&amp;nbsp;— to ask perseverance. '''Men may build barricades&amp;nbsp;— and others may hurl themselves against those barricades&amp;nbsp;— but what would happen at the barricades would yield no answers. The answers will only be wrought by our perseverance together. It is deceit to promise more as it would be cowardice to demand less.'''

* '''The Negro says, &quot;Now.&quot; Others say, &quot;Never.&quot; The voice of responsible Americans&amp;nbsp;— the voice of those who died here and the great man who spoke here&amp;nbsp;— their voices say, &quot;Together.&quot; There is no other way.'''

* '''Until justice is blind to color, until education is unaware of race, until opportunity is unconcerned with the color of men's skins, emancipation will be a proclamation but not a fact. To the extent that the [[w:Emancipation Proclamation|proclamation of emancipation]] is not fulfilled in fact, to that extent we shall have fallen short of [[Abraham Lincoln#Second_State_of_the_Union_address_.281862.29|assuring freedom to the free]].'''

====Telephone call with Senator Richard Russell (May 27, 1964)====
:&lt;small&gt; As quoted in [http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/09/27/vietnam-war-documentary-ken-burns-missing-transcript-215652 &quot;The Vietnam War Transcript Trump Needs to Read&quot;] ''Politico Magazine'', Jeff Green Field, September 27, 2017&lt;/small&gt;
*'''Johnson''': What do you think about this [[Vietnam War|Vietnam thing]]? I’d like to hear you talk a little bit.
:'''Russell''': Well, frankly, Mr. President, it’s the damn worse mess that I ever saw, and I don’t like to brag and I never have been right many times in my life, but I knew that we were going to get into this sort of mess when we went in there. And I don’t see how we’re ever going to get out of it without fighting a major war with the Chinese and all of them down there in those rice paddies and jungles. I just don’t see it. I just don’t know what to do.
:'''Johnson''': Well, that’s the way I have been feeling for six months.
:'''Russell''': Our position is deteriorating and it looks like the more we try to do for them, the less they are willing to do for themselves. It is a mess and it’s going to get worse, and I don’t know how or what to do. I don’t think the American people are quite ready for us to send our troops in there to do the fighting. If I was going to get out, I’d get the same crowd that got rid of old Diem [the Vietnamese prime minister who was overthrown and assassinated in 1963] to get rid of these people and to get some fellow in there that said we wish to hell we would get out. That would give us a good excuse for getting out.
:'''Johnson''': How important is it to us?
:'''Russell''': It isn’t important a damn bit for all this [[nuclear weapon|new missile stuff]].
:'''Johnson''': I guess it is important.
:'''Russell''': From a psychological standpoint. Other than the question of our word and saving face, that’s the reason that I said that I don’t think that anybody would expect us to stay in there. It’s going to be a headache to anybody that tries to fool with it. You’ve got all the brains in the country, Mr. President—you better get ahold of them. I don’t know what to do about this. I saw it all coming on, but that don’t do any good now, that’s water over the dam and under the bridge. And we are there.

*'''Johnson''': Well, they’d impeach a president, though, that would run out, wouldn’t they?
:'''Russell''': I don’t think they would. I don’t know how in hell you’re going to get out, unless they [the South Vietnamese government] tell you to get out.
:'''Johnson''': Wouldn’t that pretty well fix us in the eyes of the world and make us look mighty bad?
:'''Russell''': Well, I don’t know, we don’t look too good right now, going in there with all the troops, sending them all in there, I’ll tell you it'll be the most expensive adventure this country ever went into.

====Civil Rights Bill signing speech (1964)====
[[File:Lyndon Johnson signing Civil Rights Act, July 2, 1964.jpg|thumb|Let us close the springs of racial poison. Let us pray for wise and understanding hearts. Let us lay aside irrelevant differences and make our Nation whole.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.lbjlib.utexas.edu/johnson/archives.hom/speeches.hom/640702.asp President Lyndon B. Johnson's Radio and Television Remarks Upon Signing the Civil Rights Bill (July 2, 1964).] Source: Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: Lyndon B. Johnson, 1963-64. Volume II, entry 446, pp. 842-844. Washington, D. C.: Government Printing Office, 1965.&lt;/small&gt;

* Americans of every race and color have died in battle to protect our freedom. Americans of every race and color have worked to build a nation of widening opportunities. Now our generation of Americans has been called on to continue the unending search for justice within our own borders. We believe that all men are created equal. Yet many are denied equal treatment. We believe that all men have certain unalienable rights. Yet many Americans do not enjoy those rights. We believe that all men are entitled to the blessings of liberty. Yet millions are being deprived of those blessings&amp;nbsp;— not because of their own failures, but because of the color of their skin. The reasons are deeply imbedded in history and tradition and the nature of man. We can understand&amp;nbsp;— without rancor or hatred&amp;nbsp;— how this all happened. But it cannot continue. Our Constitution, the foundation of our Republic, forbids it. The principles of our freedom forbid it. Morality forbids it. And the law I will sign tonight forbids it.

* The purpose of the law is simple. It does not restrict the freedom of any American, so long as he respects the rights of others. It does not give special treatment to any citizen. It does say the only limit to a man's hope for happiness, and for the future of his children, shall be his own ability. It does say that there are those who are equal before God shall now also be equal in the polling booths, in the classrooms, in the factories, and in hotels, restaurants, movie theaters, and other places that provide service to the public.

* '''We must not approach the observance and enforcement of this law in a vengeful spirit. Its purpose is not to punish. Its purpose is not to divide, but to end divisions&amp;nbsp;— divisions which have all lasted too long. Its purpose is national, not regional. Its purpose is to promote a more abiding commitment to freedom, a more constant pursuit of justice, and a deeper respect for human dignity.'''

* '''Let us close the springs of racial poison. Let us pray for wise and understanding hearts. Let us lay aside irrelevant differences and make our Nation whole.'''

====Inaugural address (1965)====
[[File:Lyndon Johnson and Martin Luther King, Jr. - Voting Rights Act.jpg|thumb|Justice requires us to remember that when any citizen denies his fellow, saying, &quot;His color is not mine,&quot; or &quot;His beliefs are strange and different,&quot; in that moment he betrays America, though his forebears created this Nation.]]
[[File:North America from low orbiting satellite Suomi NPP.jpg|thumb|We are all fellow passengers on a dot of earth. And each of us, in the span of time, has really only a moment among our companions. How incredible it is that in this fragile existence, we should hate and destroy one another. There are possibilities enough for all who will abandon mastery over others to pursue mastery over nature. There is world enough for all to seek their happiness in their own way.]]
[[File:Flag-lens-flare.jpg|thumb|Let us reject any among us who seek to reopen old wounds and to rekindle old hatreds. They stand in the way of a seeking nation. Let us now join reason to faith and action to experience, to transform our unity of interest into a unity of purpose. For the hour and the day and the time are here to achieve progress without strife, to achieve change without hatred—not without difference of opinion, but without the deep and abiding divisions which scar the union for generations.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.bartleby.com/124/pres57.html Lyndon Baines Johnson: Inaugural Address (20 January 1965)]&lt;/small&gt;
* '''We are one nation and one people. Our fate as a nation and our future as a people rest not upon one citizen, but upon all citizens. This is the majesty and the meaning of this moment.'''

* '''For every generation, there is a destiny. For some, history decides. For this generation, the choice must be our own. [...] Our destiny in the midst of change will rest on the unchanged character of our people, and on their faith.'''

* '''They came here—the exile and the stranger, brave but frightened—to find a place where a man could be his own man. They made a covenant with this land. Conceived in justice, written in liberty, bound in union, it was meant one day to inspire the hopes of all mankind; and it binds us still. If we keep its terms, we shall flourish.'''

* First, '''justice was the promise that all who made the journey would share in the fruits of the land. In a land of great wealth, families must not live in hopeless poverty. In a land rich in harvest, children just must not go hungry. In a land of healing miracles, neighbors must not suffer and die unattended. In a great land of learning and scholars, young people must be taught to read and write.'''

* '''Justice requires us to remember that when any citizen denies his fellow, saying, &quot;His color is not mine,&quot; or &quot;His beliefs are strange and different,&quot; in that moment he betrays America, though his forebears created this Nation.'''

* '''Liberty was the second article of our covenant. It was self-government. It was our Bill of Rights.''' But it was more. '''America would be a place where each man could be proud to be himself: stretching his talents, rejoicing in his work, important in the life of his neighbors and his nation.''' This has become more difficult in a world where change and growth seem to tower beyond the control and even the judgment of men. '''We must work to provide the knowledge and the surroundings which can enlarge the possibilities of every citizen. The American covenant called on us to help show the way for the liberation of man. And that is today our goal. Thus, if as a nation there is much outside our control, as a people no stranger is outside our hope.'''

* '''We are all fellow passengers on a dot of earth. And each of us, in the span of time, has really only a moment among our companions. How incredible it is that in this fragile existence, we should hate and destroy one another. There are possibilities enough for all who will abandon mastery over others to pursue mastery over nature. There is world enough for all to seek their happiness in their own way.'''

* '''We aspire to nothing that belongs to others. We seek no dominion over our fellow man, but man's dominion over tyranny and misery.''' But more is required. '''Men want to be a part of a common enterprise—a cause greater than themselves. Each of us must find a way to advance the purpose of the Nation, thus finding new purpose for ourselves. Without this, we shall become a nation of strangers.'''

* '''The third article was union. [...] By working shoulder to shoulder, together we can increase the bounty of all. We have discovered that every child who learns, every man who finds work, every sick body that is made whole—like a candle added to an altar—brightens the hope of all the faithful. So let us reject any among us who seek to reopen old wounds and to rekindle old hatreds. They stand in the way of a seeking nation. Let us now join reason to faith and action to experience, to transform our unity of interest into a unity of purpose. For the hour and the day and the time are here to achieve progress without strife, to achieve change without hatred—not without difference of opinion, but without the deep and abiding divisions which scar the union for generations.'''

* I do not believe that '''the Great Society''' is the ordered, changeless, and sterile battalion of the ants. It i'''s the excitement of becoming—always becoming, trying, probing, falling, resting, and trying again—but always trying and always gaining.'''

* '''In each generation, with toil and tears, we have had to earn our heritage again. If we fail now, we shall have forgotten in abundance what we learned in hardship''': that '''democracy rests on faith''', that '''freedom asks more than it gives''', and that '''the judgment of God is harshest on those who are most favored.''' '''If we succeed, it will not be because of what we have, but it will be because of what we are; not because of what we own, but, rather because of what we believe. For we are a nation of believers. Underneath the clamor of building and the rush of our day's pursuits, we are believers in justice and liberty and union, and in our own Union. We believe that every man must someday be free. And we believe in ourselves.'''

* '''Our enemies have always made the same mistake.''' In my lifetime—'''in depression and in war—they have awaited our defeat. Each time, from the secret places of the American heart, came forth the faith they could not see or that they could not even imagine. It brought us victory. And it will again. For this is what America is all about. It is the uncrossed desert and the unclimbed ridge. It is the star that is not reached and the harvest sleeping in the unplowed ground. Is our world gone? We say &quot;Farewell.&quot; Is a new world coming? We welcome it—and we will bend it to the hopes of man.'''

* To these trusted public servants and to my family and those close friends of mine who have followed me down a long, winding road, and '''to all the people of this Union and the world, I will repeat today what I said on that sorrowful day in November 1963: &quot;I will lead and I will do the best I can.&quot; But you must look within your own hearts to the old promises and to the old dream. They will lead you best of all.'''

====Special message to Congress on the right to vote (1965)====
[[File:AdoptionOf13thAmendment.jpg|thumb|Government is best which is closest to the people.]]
[[File:The County Election, Bingham, 1846.jpg|thumb|The first right and most vital of all our rights is the right to vote.[...] It is from the exercise of this right that the guarantee of all our other rights flows. Unless the right to vote be secure and undenied, all other rights are insecure and subject to denial for all our citizens.]]
[[File:1963 march on washington.jpg|thumb|A people divided over the right to vote can never build a Nation united.]]
[[File:Lincolnatgettysburg.jpg|thumb|We cannot have government for all the people until we first make certain it is government of and by all the people.]]
:&lt;small&gt; Written document [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/special-message-the-congress-the-right-vote Lyndon B. Johnson: &quot;Special Message to the Congress on the Right To Vote&quot; (15 March 1965)] online at The American Presidency Project by Gerhard Peters and John T. Woolley&lt;/small&gt;

* In this same month ninety-five years ago-on March 30, 1870&amp;nbsp;— the Constitution of the United States was amended for the fifteenth time to guarantee that no citizen of our land should be denied the right to vote because of race or color. The command of the [[w:Fifteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fifteenth Amendment]] is unequivocal and its equal force upon State Governments and the Federal Government is unarguable. Section 1 of this Amendment provides: The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude.

* By the oath I have taken &quot;to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States,&quot; duty directs&amp;nbsp;— and strong personal conviction impels&amp;nbsp;— that I advise the Congress that action is necessary, and necessary now, if the Constitution is to be upheld and the rights of all citizens are not to be mocked, abused and denied. I must regretfully report to the Congress the following facts: &lt;br /&gt; 1. That the Fifteenth Amendment of our Constitution is today being systematically and willfully circumvented in certain State and local jurisdictions of our Nation.&lt;br /&gt;2. That representatives of such State and local governments acting &quot;under the color of law,&quot; are denying American citizens the right to vote on the sole basis of race or color.&lt;br /&gt;3. That, as a result of these practices, in some areas of our country today no significant number of American citizens of the Negro race can be registered to vote except upon the intervention and order of a Federal Court.&lt;br /&gt;4. That the remedies available under law to citizens thus denied their Constitutional rights&amp;nbsp;— and the authority presently available to the Federal Government to act in their behalf&amp;nbsp;— are clearly inadequate.&lt;br /&gt;5. That the denial of these rights and the frustration of efforts to obtain meaningful relief from such denial without undue delay is contributing to the creation of conditions which are both inimical to our domestic order and tranquillity and incompatible with the standards of equal justice and individual dignity on which our society stands.&lt;br /&gt;I am, therefore, calling upon the Congress to discharge the duty authorized in Section 2 of the Fifteenth Amendment &quot;to enforce this Article by appropriate legislation.&quot;

* The essence of our American tradition of State and local governments is the belief expressed by [[Thomas Jefferson]] that '''Government is best which is closest to the people. Yet that belief is betrayed by those State and local officials who engage in denying the right of citizens to vote. Their actions serve only to assure that their State governments and local governments shall be remote from the people, least representative of the people's will and least responsive to the people's wishes.'''

* The challenge now presented is more than a challenge to our Constitution&amp;nbsp;— it is a blatant affront to the conscience of this generation of Americans. Discrimination based on race or color is reprehensible and intolerable to the great American majority. In every national forum, where they have chosen to test popular sentiment, defenders of discrimination have met resounding rejection. Americans now are not willing that the acid of the few shall be allowed to corrode the souls of the many.

* '''The purposeful many need not and will not bow to the willful few.'''

* In our system, '''the first right and most vital of all our rights is the right to vote.''' Jefferson described the elective franchise as &quot;the ark of our safety.&quot; '''It is from the exercise of this right that the guarantee of all our other rights flows. Unless the right to vote be secure and undenied, all other rights are insecure and subject to denial for all our citizens. The challenge to this right is a challenge to America itself. We must meet this challenge as decisively as we would meet a challenge mounted against our land from enemies abroad.'''

* In the world, America stands for&amp;nbsp;— and works for&amp;nbsp;— the right of all men to govern themselves through free, uninhibited elections. An ink bottle broken against an American Embassy, a fire set in an American library, an insult committed against our American flag, anywhere in the world, does far less injury to our country and our cause than the discriminatory denial of the right of any American citizen at home to vote on the basis of race or color.

* The issue presented by the present challenge to our Constitution and our conscience transcends legalism, although it does not transcend the law itself. '''We are challenged to demonstrate that there are no sanctuaries within our law for those who flaunt it. We are challenged, also, to demonstrate by our prompt, fitting and adequate response now that the hope of our system is not force, not arms, not the might of militia or marshals-but the law itself.'''

* Unless we act anew, with dispatch and resolution, we shall sanction a sad and sorrowful course for the future. For if the Fifteenth Amendment is successfully flouted today, tomorrow the [[First Amendment to the United States Constitution|First Amendment]], the [[w:Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fourth Amendment]], the [[Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fifth Amendment]]-the [[w:Sixth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Sixth]], the [[w:Eighth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Eighth]], indeed, [[United States Constitution|all the provisions of the Constitution]] on which our system stands&amp;nbsp;— will be subject to disregard and erosion. Our essential strength as a society governed by the rule of law will be crippled and corrupted and the unity of our system hollowed out and left meaningless.

* Our purpose is not&amp;nbsp;— and shall never be-either the quest for power or the desire to punish. We seek to increase the power of the people over all their governments, not to enhance the power of the Federal Government over any of the people. For the life of this Republic, '''our people have zealously guarded their liberty against abuses of power by their governments. The one weapon they have used is the mightiest weapon in the arsenal of democracy&amp;nbsp;— the vote. This has been enough, for as [[Woodrow Wilson]] said, &quot;The instrument of all reform in America is the ballot.&quot;'''

* '''A people divided over the right to vote can never build a Nation united.'''

* '''We cannot have government for all the people until we first make certain it is government of and by all the people.'''

====The American Promise (1965)====
[[File:Andrew Johnson impeachment trial.jpg|thumb|Our mission is at once the oldest and the most basic of this country: to right wrong, to do justice, to serve man.]]
[[File:Voting Victories.jpg|thumb|It is all of us, who must overcome the crippling legacy of bigotry and injustice. And we shall overcome.]]
[[File:Bloody Sunday-Alabama police attack.jpeg|thumb|At the real heart of battle for equality is a deep-seated belief in the democratic process. Equality depends not on the force of arms or tear gas but upon the force of moral right; not on recourse to violence but on respect for law and order.]]
[[File:LBJ National Portrait Gallery.jpg|thumb|We seek and pray for peace. We seek order. We seek unity. But we will not accept the peace of stifled rights, or the order imposed by fear, or the unity that stifles protest. For peace cannot be purchased at the cost of liberty.]]
[[File:37 Lyndon Johnson 3x4.jpg|thumb|I do not want to be the President who built empires, or sought grandeur, or extended dominion. I want to be the President who educated young children to the wonders of their world. I want to be the President who [...] ]]
:&lt;small&gt;Address to the US Congress [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/special-message-the-congress-the-american-promise Lyndon B. Johnson: &quot;Special Message to the Congress: The American Promise&quot; (15 March 1965) online at The American Presidency Project by Gerhard Peters and John T. Woolley]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I speak tonight for the [[dignity]] of [[Humanity|man]] and the [[destiny]] of [[democracy]].''' &lt;br /&gt; I urge every member of both parties, Americans of all religions and of all colors, from every section of this country, to join me in that cause. &lt;br /&gt; '''At times history and fate meet at a single time in a single place to shape a turning point in man's unending search for freedom.''' So it was at [[w:Battles of Lexington and Concord|Lexington and Concord]]. So it was a century ago at [[w:Battle of Appomattox Court House|Appomattox]]. So it was last week in [[w:Selma to Montgomery marches|Selma, Alabama]]. There, long-suffering men and women peacefully protested the denial of their rights as Americans. Many were brutally assaulted. One good man, a man of God, was killed.

* '''Our mission is at once the oldest and the most basic of this country: to right wrong, to do justice, to serve man.''' &lt;br /&gt; In our time we have come to live with moments of great crisis. Our lives have been marked with debate about great issues; issues of war and peace, issues of prosperity and depression. But rarely in any time does an issue lay bare the secret heart of America itself. Rarely are we met with a challenge, not to our growth or abundance, our welfare or our security, but rather to the values and the purposes and the meaning of our beloved Nation. '''The issue of equal rights for American Negroes''' is such an issue. And '''should we defeat every enemy, should we double our wealth and conquer the stars, and still be unequal to this issue, then we will have failed as a people and as a nation. For with a country as with a person, &quot;What is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?&quot;'''.

* '''There is no Negro problem. There is no Southern problem. There is no Northern problem. There is only an American problem. And we are met here tonight as Americans&amp;nbsp;— not as Democrats or Republicans-we are met here as Americans to solve that problem.'''

* '''This was the first nation in the history of the world to be founded with a purpose. The great phrases of that purpose still sound in every American heart, North and South: &quot;[[United States Declaration of Independence|All men are created equal]]&quot;&amp;nbsp;— &quot;[[United States Declaration of Independence|government by consent of the governed]]&quot;&amp;nbsp;— &quot;[[Patrick Henry#&quot;Give_me_liberty,_or_give_me_death!&quot;_(1775)|give me liberty or give me death.]]&quot; Well, those are not just clever words, or those are not just empty theories.''' In their name Americans have fought and died for two centuries, and tonight around the world they stand there as guardians of our liberty, risking their lives. &lt;br /&gt; '''Those words are a promise to every citizen that he shall share in the dignity of man. This dignity cannot be found in a man's possessions; it cannot be found in his power, or in his position. It really rests on his right to be treated as a man equal in opportunity to all others. It says that he shall share in freedom, he shall choose his leaders, educate his children, and provide for his family according to his ability and his merits as a human being.''' &lt;br /&gt;  To apply any other test&amp;ndash;to deny a man his hopes because of his color or race, his religion or the place of his birth&amp;nbsp;— is not only to do injustice, it is to deny America and to dishonor the dead who gave their lives for American freedom. Our fathers believed that if this noble view of the rights of man was to flourish, it must be rooted in democracy. The most basic right of all was the right to choose your own leaders. The history of this country, in large measure, is the history of the expansion of that right to all of our people.

* Many of the issues of civil rights are very complex and most difficult. But about this there can and should be no argument : '''Every American citizen must have an equal right to vote. There is no reason which can excuse the denial of that right. There is no duty which weighs more heavily on us than the duty we have to ensure that right.''' &lt;br /&gt;Yet the harsh fact is that in many places in this country men and women are kept from voting simply because they are Negroes. &lt;br /&gt; Every device of which human ingenuity is capable has been used to deny this right. The Negro citizen may go to register only to be told that the day is wrong, or the hour is late, or the official in charge is absent. And if he persists, and if he manages to present himself to the registrar, he may be disqualified because he did not spell out his middle name or because he abbreviated a word on the application. &lt;br /&gt; And if he manages to fill out an application he is given a test. The registrar is the sole judge of whether he passes this test. He may be asked to recite the entire Constitution, or explain the most complex provisions of State law. And even a college degree cannot be used to prove that he can read and write. &lt;br /&gt; For the fact is that the only way to pass these barriers is to show a white skin.
 
* Experience has clearly shown that the existing process of law cannot overcome systematic and ingenious discrimination. No law that we now have on the books-and I have helped to put three of them there — can ensure the right to vote when local officials are determined to deny it. &lt;br /&gt; In such a case our duty must be clear to all of us.  '''The Constitution says that no person shall be kept from voting because of his race or his color.''' We have all sworn an oath before God to support and to defend that Constitution. We must now act in obedience to that oath.

* Open your polling places to all your [[people]]. &lt;br /&gt; Allow men and women to register and [[vote]] whatever the color of their skin. &lt;br /&gt; Extend the rights of citizenship to every citizen of this land. &lt;br /&gt; There is no constitutional issue here. The command of [[United States Constitution|the Constitution]] is plain. &lt;br /&gt; There is no [[moral]] issue. It is wrong — deadly wrong — to deny any of your fellow Americans the right to vote in this country. &lt;br /&gt; There is no issue of States rights or national rights. There is only the struggle for [[human rights]].

* The last time a President sent a civil rights bill to the Congress it contained a provision to protect voting rights in Federal elections. That civil rights bill was passed after 8 long months of debate. And when that bill came to my desk from the Congress for my signature, the heart of the voting provision had been eliminated. &lt;br /&gt; This time, on this issue, there must be no delay, no hesitation and no compromise with our purpose. &lt;br /&gt; We cannot, we must not, refuse to protect the right of every American to vote in every election that he may desire to participate in. And we ought not and we cannot and we must not wait another 8 months before we get a bill. We have already waited a hundred years and more, and the time for waiting is gone.

*  '''But even if we pass this bill, the battle will not be over.''' What happened in Selma is part of a far larger movement which reaches into every section and State of America. It is the effort of American Negroes to secure for themselves the full blessings of American life. Their cause must be our cause too. '''Because it is not just Negroes, but really it is all of us, who must overcome the crippling legacy of bigotry and injustice. And [[w:We Shall Overcome|we shall overcome]].'''

* As a man whose roots go deeply into Southern soil I know how agonizing racial feelings are. '''I know how difficult it is to reshape the attitudes and the structure of our society. But a century has passed, more than a hundred years, since the Negro was freed. And he is not fully free tonight. It was more than a hundred years ago that [[Abraham Lincoln]], a great president of [[Republican Party (United States)|another party]], signed the Emancipation Proclamation, but emancipation is a proclamation and not a fact. A century has passed, more than a hundred years, since equality was promised. And yet the Negro is not equal. A century has passed since the day of promise. And the promise is unkept. The time of justice has now come.''' I tell you that I believe sincerely that no force can hold it back. It is right in the eyes of man and God that it should come. And when it does, I think that day will brighten the lives of every American.

* For Negroes are not the only victims. How many white children have gone uneducated, how many white families have lived in stark poverty, how many white lives have been scarred by fear, because we have wasted our energy and our substance to maintain the barriers of hatred and terror? So I say to all of you here, and to all in the Nation tonight, that '''those who appeal to you to hold on to the past do so at the cost of denying you your future.''' This great, rich, restless country can offer opportunity and education and hope to all: black and white, North and South, sharecropper and city dweller. '''These are the enemies: poverty, ignorance, disease. They are the enemies and not our fellow man, not our neighbor. And these enemies too, poverty, disease and ignorance, we shall over, come.'''

* For '''at the real heart of battle for equality is a deep-seated belief in the democratic process. Equality depends not on the force of arms or tear gas but upon the force of moral right; not on recourse to violence but on respect for law and order.'''

* '''We must preserve the right of free speech and the right of free assembly. But the right of free speech does not carry with it, [[w:Schenck v. United States|as has been said, the right to holler fire in a crowded theater]]. We must preserve the right to free assembly, but free assembly does not carry with it the right to block public thoroughfares to traffic. We do have a right to protest, and a right to march under conditions that do not infringe the constitutional rights of our neighbors.''' And I intend to protect all those rights as long as I am permitted to serve in this office. We will guard against '''violence''', knowing it '''strikes from our hands the very weapons which we seek&amp;nbsp;— progress, obedience to law, and belief in American values.'''

* In Selma as elsewhere '''we seek and pray for peace. We seek order. We seek unity. But we will not accept the peace of stifled rights, or the order imposed by fear, or the unity that stifles protest. For peace cannot be purchased at the cost of liberty.'''

* '''All Americans must have the privileges of citizenship regardless of race.''' And they are going to have those privileges of citizenship regardless of race. But I would like to caution you and remind you that '''to exercise these privileges takes much more than just legal right. It requires a trained mind and a healthy body. It requires a decent home, and the chance to find a job, and the opportunity to escape from the clutches of poverty. Of course, people cannot contribute to the Nation if they are never taught to read or write, if their bodies are stunted from hunger, if their sickness goes untended, if their life is spent in hopeless poverty just drawing a welfare check. So we want to open the gates to opportunity. But we are also going to give all our people, black and white, the help that they need to walk through those gates.'''

* This is the richest and most powerful country which ever occupied the globe. The might of past empires is little compared to ours. But '''I do not want to be the President who built empires, or sought grandeur, or extended dominion. I want to be the President who educated young children to the wonders of their world. I want to be the President who helped to feed the hungry and to prepare them to be taxpayers instead of taxeaters. I want to be the President who helped the poor to find their own way and who protected the right of every citizen to vote in every election. I want to be the President who helped to end hatred among his fellow men and who promoted love among the people of all races and all regions and all parties. I want to be the President who helped to end war among the brothers of this earth.'''

* Above the pyramid on the great seal of the United States it says, in Latin: 'God has favored our undertaking.' God will not favor everything that we do. It is rather our duty to divine His will. But I cannot help believing that He truly understands and that He really favors the undertaking that we begin here tonight.

====Voting Rights Act signing speech (1965)====
[[File:LyndonJohnson signs Voting Rights Act of 1965.jpg|thumb|It is not enough just to give men rights. They must be able to use those rights in their personal pursuit of happiness.]]
{{Smallcite|[http://www.lbjlib.utexas.edu/johnson/archives.hom/speeches.hom/650806.asp President Lyndon B. Johnson's Remarks in the Capitol Rotunda at the Signing of the Voting Rights Act (August 6, 1965)]. Source: Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: Lyndon B. Johnson, 1965. Volume II, entry 394, pp. 811-815. Washington, D. C.: Government Printing Office, 1966.}}
* In 1957, as the leader of the majority in the United States Senate, speaking in support of legislation to guarantee '''the right of all men to vote''', I said, &quot;'''This right to vote is the basic right without which all others are meaningless. It gives people, people as individuals, control over their own destinies.'''&quot;

* This law covers many pages. But the heart of the act is plain. Wherever, by clear and objective standards, States and counties are using regulations, or laws, or tests to deny the right to vote, then they will be struck down. If it is clear that State officials still intend to discriminate, then Federal examiners will be sent in to register all eligible voters. When the prospect of discrimination is gone, the examiners will be immediately withdrawn. And, under this act, if any county anywhere in this Nation does not want Federal intervention it need only open its polling places to all of its people.

* Presidents and Congresses, laws and [[lawsuit]]s can open the doors to the polling places and open the doors to the wondrous rewards which await the wise use of the ballot. '''But only''' the individual Negro, and '''all''' others '''who have been denied the right to vote, can really walk through those doors, and can use that right, and can transform the vote into an instrument of justice and fulfillment.'''

* If you do this, then you will find, as others have found before you, that '''the vote is the most powerful instrument ever devised by man for breaking down injustice and destroying the terrible walls which imprison men because they are different from other men.'''

* For '''it is not enough just to give men rights. They must be able to use those rights in their personal pursuit of happiness.'''

* '''There is no room for injustice anywhere in the American mansion. But there is always room for understanding toward those who see the old ways crumbling. And to them, today, I simply say this: It must come. It is right that it should come. And when it has, you will find that a burden has been lifted from your shoulders, too.'''

==== Remarks at the signing of the Immigration Bill (1965)====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.lbjlibrary.org/lyndon-baines-johnson/timeline/lbj-on-immigration Remarks at the Signing of the Immigration Bill (3 October 1965)]&lt;/small&gt;
* Mr. Vice President, Mr. Speaker, Mr. Ambassador Goldberg, distinguished Members of the leadership of the Congress, distinguished Governors and mayors, my fellow countrymen. We have called the Congress here this afternoon not only to mark a very historic occasion, but to settle a very old issue that is in dispute. That issue is, to what congressional district does Liberty Island really belong; Congressman Farbstein or Congressman Gallagher? It will be settled by whoever of the two can walk first to the top of the Statue of Liberty. This bill that we will sign today is not a revolutionary bill. It does not affect the lives of millions. It will not reshape the structure of our daily lives, or really add importantly to either our wealth or our power. Yet it is still one of the most important acts of this Congress and of this administration. For it does repair a very deep and painful flaw in the fabric of American justice. It corrects a cruel and enduring wrong in the conduct of the American nation. Speaker McCormack and Congressman Celler almost 40 years ago first pointed that out in their maiden speeches in the Congress. And this measure that we will sign today will really make us truer to ourselves both as a country and as a people. It will strengthen us in a hundred unseen ways.

* I have come here to thank personally each Member of the Congress who labored so long and so valiantly to make this occasion come true today, and to make this bill a reality. I cannot mention all their names, for it would take much too long, but my gratitude; and that of this Nation; belongs to the 89th Congress. We are indebted, too, to the vision of the late beloved President John Fitzgerald Kennedy, and to the support given to this measure by the then Attorney General and now Senator, Robert F. Kennedy. In the final days of consideration, this bill had no more able champion than the present Attorney General, Nicholas Katzenbach, who, with New York's own &quot;Manny&quot; Celler, and Senator Ted Kennedy of Massachusetts, and Congressman Feighan of Ohio, and Senator Mansfield and Senator Dirksen constituting the leadership of the Senate, and Senator Javits, helped to guide this bill to passage, along with the help of the Members sitting in front of me today.

* This bill says simply that from this day forth '''those wishing to immigrate to America shall be admitted on the basis of their skills and their close relationship to those already here. This is a simple test, and it is a fair test. Those who can contribute most to this country; to its growth, to its strength, to its spirit; will be the first that are admitted to this land. The fairness of this standard is so self-evident that we may well wonder that it has not always been applied. Yet the fact is that for over four decades the immigration policy of the United States has been twisted and has been distorted by the harsh injustice of the national origins quota system. Under that system the ability of new immigrants to come to America depended upon the country of their birth. Only 3 countries were allowed to supply 70 percent of all the immigrants. Families were kept apart because a husband or a wife or a child had been born in the wrong place. Men of needed skill and talent were denied entrance because they came from southern or eastern Europe or from one of the developing continents. This system violated the basic principle of American democracy; the principle that values and rewards each man on the basis of his merit as a man. It has been un-American in the highest sense, because it has been untrue to the faith that brought thousands to these shores even before we were a country. Today, with my signature, this system is abolished. We can now believe that it will never again shadow the gate to the American nation with the twin barriers of prejudice and privilege. Our beautiful America was built by a nation of strangers. From a hundred different places or more they have poured forth into an empty land, joining and blending in one mighty and irresistible tide. The land flourished because it was fed from so many sources; because it was nourished by so many cultures and traditions and peoples. And from this experience, almost unique in the history of nations, has come America's attitude toward the rest of the world. We, because of what we are, feel safer and stronger in a world as varied as the people who make it up; a world where no country rules another and all countries can deal with the basic problems of human dignity and deal with those problems in their own way. Now, under the monument which has welcomed so many to our shores, the American nation returns to the finest of its traditions today. The days of unlimited immigration are past. But those who do come will come because of what they are, and not because of the land from which they sprung'''.

* When the earliest settlers poured into a wild continent there was no one to ask them where they came from. '''The only question was: Were they sturdy enough to make the journey, were they strong enough to clear the land, were they enduring enough to make a home for freedom, and were they brave enough to die for liberty if it became necessary to do so? And so it has been through all the great and testing moments of American history. Our history this year we see in Vietnam. Men there are dying; men named Fernandez and Zajac and Zelinko and Mariano and McCormick. Neither the enemy who killed them nor the people whose independence they have fought to save ever asked them where they or their parents came from. They were all Americans. It was for free men and for America that they gave their all, they gave their lives and selves. By eliminating that same question as a test for immigration the Congress proves ourselves worthy of those men and worthy of our own traditions as a nation'''.

* So it is in that spirit that I declare this afternoon to the people of Cuba that those who seek refuge here in America will find it. The dedication of America to our traditions as an asylum for the oppressed is going to be upheld. I have directed the Departments of State and Justice and Health, Education, and Welfare to immediately make all the necessary arrangements to permit those in Cuba who seek freedom to make an orderly entry into the United States of America. Our first concern will be with those Cubans who have been separated from their children and their parents and their husbands and their wives and that are now in this country. Our next concern is with those who are imprisoned for political reasons. And I will send to the Congress tomorrow a request for supplementary funds of $12,600,000 to carry forth the commitment that I am making today. I am asking the Department of State to seek through the Swiss government immediately the agreement of the Cuban government in a request to the President of the International Red Cross Committee. The request is for the assistance of the Committee in processing the movement of refugees from Cuba to Miami. Miami will serve as a port of entry and a temporary stopping place for refugees as they settle in other parts of this country. And to all the voluntary agencies in the United States, I appeal for their continuation and expansion of their magnificent work. Their help is needed in the reception and the settlement of those who choose to leave Cuba. The Federal Government will work closely with these agencies in their tasks of charity and brotherhood. I want all the people of this great land of ours to know of the really enormous contribution which the compassionate citizens of Florida have made to humanity and to decency. And all States in this Union can join with Florida now in extending the hand of helpfulness and humanity to our Cuban brothers. The lesson of our times is sharp and clear in this movement of people from one land to another. Once again, it stamps the mark of failure on a regime when many of its citizens voluntarily choose to leave the land of their birth for a more hopeful home in America. The future holds little hope for any government where the present holds no hope for the people. And so we Americans will welcome these Cuban people. For the tides of history run strong, and in another day they can return to their homeland to find it cleansed of terror and free from fear. Over my shoulders here you can see Ellis Island, whose vacant corridors echo today the joyous sound of long ago voices. And today we can all believe that the lamp of this grand old lady is brighter today; and the golden door that she guards gleams more brilliantly in the light of an increased liberty for the people from all the countries of the globe. Thank you very much.

====State of the Union Address (1966)====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://millercenter.org/president/speeches/speech-4035 State of the Union Address (12 January 1966).]&lt;/small&gt;
* Mr. Speaker, Mr. President, members of the House and the Senate, my fellow Americans. I come before you tonight to report on the State of the Union for the third time. I come here to thank you and to add my tribute, once more, to the nation's gratitude for this, the 89th Congress. This Congress has already reserved for itself an honored chapter in the history of America. Our nation tonight is engaged in a brutal and bitter conflict in Vietnam. Later on I want to discuss that struggle in some detail with you. It just must be the center of our concerns. But we will not permit those who fire upon us in Vietnam to win a victory over the desires and the intentions of all the American people. This nation is mighty enough, its society is healthy enough, its people are strong enough, to pursue our goals in the rest of the world while still building a Great Society here at home. And that is what I have come here to ask of you tonight.

* I recommend that you provide the resources to carry forward, with full vigor, the great health and education programs that you enacted into law last year. I recommend that we prosecute with vigor and determination our war on poverty. I recommend that you give a new and daring direction to our foreign aid program, designed to make a maximum attack on hunger and disease and ignorance in those countries that are determined to help themselves, and to help those nations that are trying to control population growth. I recommend that you make it possible to expand trade between the United States and Eastern Europe and the Soviet Union. I recommend to you a program to rebuild completely, on a scale never before attempted, entire central and slum areas of several of our cities in America. I recommend that you attack the wasteful and degrading poisoning of our rivers, and, as the cornerstone of this effort, clean completely entire large river basins. I recommend that you meet the growing menace of crime in the streets by building up law enforcement and by revitalizing the entire federal system from prevention to probation. I recommend that you take additional steps to insure equal justice to all of our people by effectively enforcing nondiscrimination in federal and state jury selection, by making it a serious federal crime to obstruct public and private efforts to secure civil rights, and by outlawing discrimination in the sale and rental of housing. I recommend that you help me modernize and streamline the federal government by creating a new Cabinet-level Department of Transportation and reorganizing several existing agencies. In turn, I will restructure our civil service in the top grades so that men and women can easily be assigned to jobs where they are most needed, and ability will be both required as well as rewarded. I will ask you to make it possible for members of the House of Representatives to work more effectively in the service of the nation through a constitutional amendment extending the term of a Congressman to four years, concurrent with that of the President. Because of Vietnam we cannot do all that we should, or all that we would like to do. We will ruthlessly attack waste and inefficiency. We will make sure that every dollar is spent with the thrift and with the commonsense which recognizes how hard the taxpayer worked in order to earn it. We will continue to meet the needs of our people by continuing to develop the Great Society. Last year alone the wealth that we produced increased $47 billion, and it will soar again this year to a total over $720 billion. Because our economic policies have produced rising revenues, if you approve every program that I recommend tonight, our total budget deficit will be one of the lowest in many years. It will be only $1.8 billion next year. Total spending in the administrative budget will be $112.8 billion. Revenues next year will be $111 billion. On a cash basis—which is the way that you and I keep our family budget—the federal budget next year will actually show a surplus. That is to say, if we include all the money that your government will take in and all the money that your government will spend, your government next year will collect one-half billion dollars more than it will spend in the year 1967. I have not come here tonight to ask for pleasant luxuries or for idle pleasures. I have come here to recommend that you, the representatives of the richest nation on earth, you, the elected servants of a people who live in abundance unmatched on this globe, you bring the most urgent decencies of life to all of your fellow Americans.

* There are men who cry out, 'We must sacrifice'. Well, let us rather ask them: Who will they sacrifice? Are they going to sacrifice the children who seek the learning, or the sick who need medical care, or the families who dwell in squalor now brightened by the hope of home? Will they sacrifice opportunity for the distressed, the beauty of our land, the hope of our poor? Time may require further sacrifices. And if it does, then we will make them. But we will not heed those who wring it from the hopes of the unfortunate here in a land of plenty. I believe that we can continue the Great Society while we fight in Vietnam. But if there are some who do not believe this, then, in the name of justice, let them call for the contribution of those who live in the fullness of our blessing, rather than try to strip it from the hands of those that are most in need. And let no one think that the unfortunate and the oppressed of this land sit stifled and alone in their hope tonight. Hundreds of their servants and their protectors sit before me tonight here in this great chamber. The Great Society leads us along three roads—growth and justice and liberation. First is growth—the national prosperity which supports the well-being of our people and which provides the tools of our progress. I can report to you tonight what you have seen for yourselves already—in every city and countryside. This nation is flourishing. Workers are making more money than ever—with after-tax income in the past five years up 33 percent; in the last year alone, up 8 percent. More people are working than ever before in our history—an increase last year of two and a half million jobs. Corporations have greater after-tax earnings than ever in history. For the past five years those earnings have been up over 65 percent, and last year alone they had a rise of 20 percent. Average farm income is higher than ever. Over the past five years it is up 40 percent, and over the past year it is up 22 percent alone.

* I was informed this afternoon by the distinguished Secretary of the Treasury that his preliminary estimates indicate that our balance of payments deficit has been reduced from $2.8 billion in 1964 to $1.3 billion, or less, in 1965. This achievement has been made possible by the patriotic voluntary cooperation of businessmen and bankers working with your government. We must now work together with increased urgency to wipe out this balance of payments deficit altogether in the next year. And as our economy surges toward new heights we must increase our vigilance against the inflation which raises the cost of living and which lowers the savings of every family in this land. It is essential, to prevent inflation, that we ask both labor and business to exercise price and wage restraint, and I do so again tonight. I believe it desirable, because of increased military expenditures, that you temporarily restore the automobile and certain telephone excise tax reductions made effective only 12 days ago. Without raising taxes—or even increasing the total tax bill paid—we should move to improve our withholding system so that Americans can more realistically pay as they go, speed up the collection of corporate taxes, and make other necessary simplifications of the tax structure at an early date.

* I hope these measures will be adequate. But if the necessities of Vietnam require it, I will not hesitate to return to the Congress for additional appropriations, or additional revenues if they are needed. The second road is justice. '''Justice means a man's hope should not be limited by the color of his skin'''. I propose legislation to establish unavoidable requirements for nondiscriminatory jury selection in federal and state courts—and to give the Attorney General the power necessary to enforce those requirements. I propose legislation to strengthen authority of federal courts to try those who murder, attack, or intimidate either civil rights workers or others exercising their constitutional rights—and to increase penalties to a level equal to the nature of the crime. Legislation, resting on the fullest constitutional authority of the federal government, to prohibit racial discrimination in the sale or rental of housing. For that other nation within a nation—the poor—whose distress has now captured the conscience of America, I will ask the Congress not only to continue, but to speed up the war on poverty. And in so doing, we will provide the added energy of achievement with the increased efficiency of experience. To improve the life of our rural Americans and our farm population, we will plan for the future through the establishment of several new Community Development Districts, improved education through the use of Teacher Corps teams, better health measures, physical examinations, and adequate and available medical resources.

* For those who labor, I propose to improve unemployment insurance, to expand minimum wage benefits, and by the repeal of section 14(b) of the Taft-Hartley Act to make the labor laws in all our states equal to the laws of the 31 states which do not have tonight right-to-work measures. And I also intend to ask the Congress to consider measures which, without improperly invading state and local authority, will enable us effectively to deal with strikes which threaten irreparable damage to the national interest. The third path is the path of liberation. It is to use our success for the fulfillment of our lives. A great nation is one which breeds a great people. A great people flower not from wealth and power, but from a society which spurs them to the fullness of their genius. That alone is a Great Society. Yet, slowly, painfully, on the edge of victory, has come the knowledge that shared prosperity is not enough. In the midst of abundance modern man walks oppressed by forces which menace and confine the quality of his life, and which individual abundance alone will not overcome. We can subdue and we can master these forces—bring increased meaning to our lives—if all of us, government and citizens, are bold enough to change old ways, daring enough to assault new dangers, and if the dream is dear enough to call forth the limitless capacities of this great people.

* This year we must continue to improve the quality of American life. Let us fulfill and improve the great health and education programs of last year, extending special opportunities to those who risk their lives in our armed forces. I urge the House of Representatives to complete action on three programs already passed by the Senate—the Teacher Corps, rent assistance, and home rule for the District of Columbia. In some of our urban areas we must help rebuild entire sections and neighborhoods containing, in some cases, as many as 100,000 people. Working together, private enterprise and government must press forward with the task of providing homes and shops, parks and hospitals, and all the other necessary parts of a flourishing community where our people can come to live the good life. I will offer other proposals to stimulate and to reward planning for the growth of entire metropolitan areas. Of all the reckless devastations of our national heritage, none is really more shameful than the continued poisoning of our rivers and our air. We must undertake a cooperative effort to end pollution in several river basins, making additional funds available to help draw the plans and construct the plants that are necessary to make the waters of our entire river systems clean, and make them a source of pleasure and beauty for all of our people. To attack and to overcome growing crime and lawlessness, I think we must have a stepped-up program to help modernize and strengthen our local police forces. Our people have a right to feel secure in their homes and on their streets—and that right just must be secured. Nor can we fail to arrest the destruction of life and property on our highways.

* I will propose a Highway Safety Act of 1966 to seek an end to this mounting tragedy. We must also act to prevent the deception of the American consumer—requiring all packages to state clearly and truthfully their contents—all interest and credit charges to be fully revealed—and keeping harmful drugs and cosmetics away from our stores. It is the genius of our Constitution that under its shelter of enduring institutions and rooted principles there is ample room for the rich fertility of American political invention. We must change to master change. I propose to take steps to modernize and streamline the executive branch, to modernize the relations between city and state and nation. A new Department of Transportation is needed to bring together our transportation activities. The present structure—35 government agencies, spending $5 billion yearly—makes it almost impossible to serve either the growing demands of this great nation or the needs of the industry, or the right of the taxpayer to full efficiency and real frugality. I will propose in addition a program to construct and to flight-test a new supersonic transport airplane that will fly three times the speed of sound—in excess of 2,000 miles per hour. I propose to examine our federal system-the relation between city, state, nation, and the citizens themselves. We need a commission of the most distinguished scholars and men of public affairs to do this job. I will ask them to move on to develop a creative federalism to best use the wonderful diversity of our institutions and our people to solve the problems and to fulfill the dreams of the American people. As the process of election becomes more complex and more costly, we must make it possible for those without personal wealth to enter public life without being obligated to a few large contributors. Therefore, I will submit legislation to revise the present unrealistic restriction on contributions—to prohibit the endless proliferation of committees, bringing local and state committees under the act—to attach strong teeth and severe penalties to the requirement of full disclosure of contributions—and to broaden the participation of the people, through added tax incentives, to stimulate small contributions to the party and to the candidate of their choice.

* To strengthen the work of Congress I strongly urge an amendment to provide a four-year term for Members of the House of Representatives—which should not begin before 1972. The present two-year term requires most members of Congress to divert enormous energies to an almost constant process of campaigning—depriving this nation of the fullest measure of both their skill and their wisdom. Today, too, the work of government is far more complex than in our early years, requiring more time to learn and more time to master the technical tasks of legislating. And a longer term will serve to attract more men of the highest quality to political life. The nation, the principle of democracy, and, I think, each congressional district, will all be better served by a four-year term for members of the House. And I urge your swift action. Tonight the cup of peril is full in Vietnam. That conflict is not an isolated episode, but another great event in the policy that we have followed with strong consistency since World War II. The touchstone of that policy is the interest of the United States—the welfare and the freedom of the people of the United States. But nations sink when they see that interest only through a narrow glass. In a world that has grown small and dangerous, pursuit of narrow aims could bring decay and even disaster. An America that is mighty beyond description—yet living in a hostile or despairing world—would be neither safe nor free to build a civilization to liberate the spirit of man. In this pursuit we helped rebuild Western Europe. We gave our aid to Greece and Turkey, and we defended the freedom of Berlin. In this pursuit we have helped new nations toward independence. We have extended the helping hand of the Peace Corps and carried forward the largest program of economic assistance in the world. And in this pursuit we work to build a hemisphere of democracy and of social justice. In this pursuit we have defended against Communist aggression—in Korea under President Truman—in the Formosa Straits under President Eisenhower—in Cuba under President Kennedy—and again in Vietnam.
*Tonight Vietnam must hold the center of our attention, but across the world problems and opportunities crowd in on the American Nation. I will discuss them fully in the months to come, and I will follow the five continuing lines of policy that America has followed under its last four Presidents. The first principle is strength. Tonight I can tell you that we are strong enough to keep all of our commitments. We will need expenditures of $58.3 billion for the next fiscal year to maintain this necessary defense might. While special Vietnam expenditures for the next fiscal year are estimated to increase by $5.8 billion, I can tell you that all the other expenditures put together in the entire federal budget will rise this coming year by only $0.6 billion. This is true because of the stringent cost-conscious economy program inaugurated in the Defense Department, and followed by the other departments of government. A second principle of policy is the effort to control, and to reduce, and to ultimately eliminate the modern engines of destruction. We will vigorously pursue existing proposals—and seek new ones—to control arms and to stop the spread of nuclear weapons. A third major principle of our foreign policy is to help build those associations of nations which reflect the opportunities and the necessities of the modern world. By strengthening the common defense, by stimulating world commerce, by meeting new hopes, these associations serve the cause of a flourishing world. We will take new steps this year to help strengthen the Alliance for Progress, the unity of Europe, the community of the Atlantic, the regional organizations of developing continents, and that supreme association—the United Nations. We will work to strengthen economic cooperation, to reduce barriers to trade, and to improve international finance.

* A fourth enduring strand of policy has been to help improve the life of man. From the Marshall Plan to this very moment tonight, that policy has rested on the claims of compassion, and the certain knowledge that only a people advancing in expectation will build secure and peaceful lands. This year I propose major new directions in our program of foreign assistance to help those countries who will help themselves. We will conduct a worldwide attack on the problems of hunger and disease and ignorance. We will place the matchless skill and the resources of our own great America, in farming and in fertilizers, at the service of those countries committed to develop a modern agriculture. We will aid those who educate the young in other lands, and we will give children in other continents the same head start that we are trying to give our own children. To advance these ends I will propose the International Education Act of 1966. I will also propose the International Health Act of 1966 to strike at disease by a new effort to bring modern skills and knowledge to the uncared—for, those suffering in the world, and by trying to wipe out smallpox and malaria and control yellow fever over most of the world during this next decade; to help countries trying to control population growth, by increasing our research—and we will earmark funds to help their efforts. In the next year, from our foreign aid sources, we propose to dedicate $1 billion to these efforts, and we call on all who have the means to join us in this work in the world.

* The fifth and most important principle of our foreign policy is support of national independence—the right of each people to govern themselves—and to shape their own institutions. For a peaceful world order will be possible only when each country walks the way that it has chosen to walk for itself. We follow this principle by encouraging the end of colonial rule. We follow this principle, abroad as well as at home, by continued hostility to the rule of the many by the few—or the oppression of one race by another. We follow this principle by building bridges to Eastern Europe. And I will ask the Congress for authority to remove the special tariff restrictions which are a barrier to increasing trade between the East and the West. The insistent urge toward national independence is the strongest force of today's world in which we live. In Africa and Asia and Latin America it is shattering the designs of those who would subdue others to their ideas or their will. It is eroding the unity of what was once a Stalinist empire. In recent months a number of nations have east out those who would subject them to the ambitions of mainland China. History is on the side of freedom and is on the side of societies shaped from the genius of each people. History does not favor a single system or belief—unless force is used to make it so. That is why it has been necessary for us to defend this basic principle of our policy, to defend it in Berlin, in Korea, in Cuba—and tonight in Vietnam.
* For tonight, as so many nights before, young Americans struggle and young Americans die in a distant land. Tonight, as so many nights before, the American Nation is asked to sacrifice the blood of its children and the fruits of its labor for the love of its freedom. How many times—in my lifetime and in yours—have the American people gathered, as they do now, to hear their President tell them of conflict and tell them of danger? Each time they have answered. They have answered with all the effort that the security and the freedom of this nation required. And they do again tonight in Vietnam. Not too many years ago Vietnam was a peaceful, if troubled, land. In the North was an independent Communist government. In the South a people struggled to build a nation, with the friendly help of the United States. There were some in South Vietnam who wished to force Communist rule on their own people. But their progress was slight. Their hope of success was dim. Then, little more than six years ago, North Vietnam decided on conquest. And from that day to this, soldiers and supplies have moved from North to South in a swelling stream that is swallowing the remnants of revolution in aggression. As the assault mounted, our choice gradually became clear. We could leave, abandoning South Vietnam to its attackers and to certain conquest, or we could stay and fight beside the people of South Vietnam. We stayed. And we will stay until aggression has stopped.

* We will stay because a just nation cannot leave to the cruelties of its enemies a people who have staked their lives and independence on America's solemn pledge—a pledge which has grown through the commitments of three American Presidents. We will stay because in Asia and around the world are countries whose independence rests, in large measure, on confidence in America's word and in America's protection. To yield to force in Vietnam would weaken that confidence, would undermine the independence of many lands, and would whet the appetite of aggression. We would have to fight in one land, and then we would have to fight in another—or abandon much of Asia to the domination of Communists. And we do not intend to abandon Asia to conquest.

* Last year the nature of the war in Vietnam changed again. Swiftly increasing numbers of armed men from the North crossed the borders to join forces that were already in the South. Attack and terror increased, spurred and encouraged by the belief that the United States lacked the will to continue and that their victory was near. Despite our desire to limit conflict, it was necessary to act: to hold back the mounting aggression, to give courage to the people of the South, and to make our firmness clear to the North. Thus. we began limited air action against military targets in North Vietnam. We increased our fighting force to its present strength tonight of 190,000 men. These moves have not ended the aggression but they have prevented its success. The aims of the enemy have been put out of reach by the skill and the bravery of Americans and their allies—and by the enduring courage of the South Vietnamese who, I can tell you, have lost eight men last year for every one of ours. The enemy is no longer close to victory. Time is no longer on his side. '''There is no cause to doubt the American commitment. Our decision to stand firm has been matched by our desire for peace.'''
*In 1965 alone we had 300 private talks for peace in Vietnam, with friends and adversaries throughout the world. Since Christmas your government has labored again, with imagination and endurance, to remove any barrier to peaceful settlement. For 20 days now we and our Vietnamese allies have dropped no bombs in North Vietnam. Able and experienced spokesmen have visited, in behalf of America, more than 40 countries. We have talked to more than a hundred governments, all 113 that we have relations with, and some that we don't. We have talked to the United Nations and we have called upon all of its members to make any contribution that they can toward helping obtain peace. In public statements and in private communications, to adversaries and to friends, in Rome and Warsaw, in Paris and Tokyo, in Africa and throughout this hemisphere, America has made her position abundantly clear. We seek neither territory nor bases, economic domination or military alliance in Vietnam. We fight for the principle of self-determination—that the people of South Vietnam should be able to choose their own course, choose it in free elections without violence, without terror, and without fear. The people of all Vietnam should make a free decision on the great question of reunification. This is all we want for South Vietnam. It is all the people of South Vietnam want. And if there is a single nation on this earth that desires less than this for its own people, then let its voice be heard. We have also made it clear—from Hanoi to New York—that there are no arbitrary limits to our search for peace. We stand by the Geneva Agreements of 1954 and 1962. We will meet at any conference table, we will discuss any proposals—four points or 14 or 40—and we will consider the views of any group. We will work for a cease-fire now or once discussions have begun. We will respond if others reduce their use of force, and we will withdraw our soldiers once South Vietnam is securely guaranteed the right to shape its own future. We have said all this, and we have asked—and hoped—and we have waited for a response. So far we have received no response to prove either success or failure.

* We have carried our quest for peace to many nations and peoples because we share this planet with others whose future, in large measure, is tied to our own action, and whose counsel is necessary to our own hopes. We have found understanding and support. And we know they wait with us tonight for some response that could lead to peace. I wish tonight that I could give you a blueprint for the course of this conflict over the coming months, but we just cannot know what the future may require. We may have to face long, hard combat or a long, hard conference, or even both at once. Until peace comes, or if it does not come, our course is clear. We will act as we must to help protect the independence of the valiant people of South Vietnam. We will strive to limit the conflict, for we wish neither increased destruction nor do we want to invite increased danger. But we will give our fighting men what they must have: every gun, and every dollar, and every decision—whatever the cost or whatever the challenge. And we will continue to help the people of South Vietnam care for those that are ravaged by battle, create progress in the villages, and carry forward the healing hopes of peace as best they can amidst the uncertain terrors of war. And let me be absolutely clear: The days may become months, and the months may become years, but we will stay as long as aggression commands us to battle. There may be some who do not want peace, whose ambitions stretch so far that war in Vietnam is but a welcome and convenient episode in an immense design to subdue history to their will. But for others it must now be clear—the choice is not between peace and victory, it lies between peace and the ravages of a conflict from which they can only lose.

* The people of Vietnam, north and south, seek the same things, the shared needs of man, the needs for food and shelter and education—the chance to build and work and till the soil, free from the arbitrary horrors of battle, the desire to walk in the dignity of those who master their own destiny. For many painful years, in war and revolution and infrequent peace, they have struggled to fulfill those needs. It is a crime against mankind that so much courage, and so much will, and so many dreams, must be flung on the fires of war and death. To all of those caught up in this conflict we therefore say again tonight, 'Let us choose peace, and with it the wondrous works of peace, and beyond that, the time when hope reaches toward consummation, and life is the servant of life'. In this work, we plan to discharge our duty to the people whom we serve. This is the State of the Union. But over it all—wealth, and promise, and expectation—lies our troubling awareness of American men at war tonight.

*'''How many men who listen to me tonight have served their nation in other wars? How very many are not here to listen? The war in Vietnam is not like these other wars. Yet, finally, war is always the same. It is young men dying in the fullness of their promise. It is trying to kill a man that you do not even know well enough to hate. Therefore, to know war is to know that there is still madness in this world'''.
*Many of you share the burden of this knowledge tonight with me. But there is a difference. For finally I must be the one to order our guns to fire, against all the most inward pulls of my desire. For we have children to teach, and we have sick to be cured, and we have men to be freed. There are poor to be lifted up, and there are cities to be built, and there is a world to be helped. Yet we do what we must. I am hopeful, and I will try as best I can, with everything I have got, to end this battle and to return our sons to their desires. Yet as long as others will challenge America's security and test the clearness of our beliefs with fire and steel, then we must stand or see the promise of two centuries tremble. I believe tonight that you do not want me to try that risk. And from that belief your President summons his strength for the trials that lie ahead in the days to come. The work must be our work now. Scarred by the weaknesses of man, with whatever guidance God may offer us, we must nevertheless and alone with our mortality, strive to ennoble the life of man on earth. Thank you, and goodnight.

====Statement on the Freedom of Information Act (1966)====
&lt;small&gt;[http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/?pid=27700.#axzz2foHNK9TC &quot;Statement by the President Upon Signing the &quot;Freedom of Information Act&quot; (4 July 1966) online at The American Presidency Project by Gerhard Peters and John T. Woolley]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''A democracy works best when the people have all the information that the security of the Nation permits. No one should be able to pull curtains of secrecy around decisions which can be revealed without injury to the public interest. At the same time, the welfare of the Nation or the rights of individuals may require that some documents not be made available.''' As long as threats to peace exist, for example, there must be military secrets. '''A citizen must be able in confidence to complain to his Government and to provide information, just as he is&amp;ndash;and should be&amp;ndash;free to confide in the press without fear of reprisal or of being required to reveal or discuss his sources.'''

* I have always believed that '''freedom of information is so vital that only the national security, not the desire of public officials or private citizens, should determine when it must be restricted.'''

* I signed this measure with a deep sense of pride that '''the United States is an open society in which the people's right to know is cherished and guarded.'''

====Letter to Ho Chi Minh (1967)====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/mod/1967-vietnam-letters1.html Letter from President Johnson to Ho Chi Minh, President of the Democratic Republic of Vietnam, February 8, 1967]&lt;/small&gt;
* I am writing to you in the hope that the conflict in Vietnam can be brought to an end. That conflict has already taken a heavy toll-in lives lost, in wounds inflicted, in property destroyed, and in simple human misery. If we fail to find a just and peaceful solution, history will judge us harshly.

* Therefore, I believe that we both have a heavy obligation to seek earnestly the path to peace. It is in response to that obligation that I am writing directly to you.

* We have tried over the past several years, in a variety of ways and through a number of channels, to convey to you and your colleagues our desire to achieve a peaceful settlement. For whatever reasons, these efforts have not achieved any results. . . .

* In the past two weeks, I have noted public statements by representatives of your government suggesting that you would be prepared to enter into direct bilateral talks with representatives of the U.S. Government, provided that we ceased &quot;unconditionally&quot; and permanently our bombing operations against your country and all military actions against it. In the last day, serious and responsible parties have assured us indirectly that this is in fact your proposal.

* Let me frankly state that I see two great difficulties with this proposal. In view of your public position, such action on our part would inevitably produce worldwide speculation that discussions were under way and would impair the privacy and secrecy of those discussions. Secondly, there would inevitably be grave concern on our part whether your government would make use of such action by us to improve its military position.

* With these problems in mind, I am prepared to move even further towards an ending of hostilities than your Government has proposed in either public statements or through private diplomatic channels. I am prepared to order a cessation of bombing against your country and the stopping of further augmentation of U.S. forces in South Viet-Nam as soon as I am assured that infiltration into South Viet-Nam by land and by sea has stopped. These acts of restraint on both sides would, I believe, make it possible for us to conduct serious and private discussions leading toward an early peace.

* I make this proposal to you now with a specific sense of urgency arising from the imminent New Year holidays in Viet-Nam. If you are able to accept this proposal I see no reason why it could not take effect at the end of the New Year, or Tet, holidays. The proposal I have made would be greatly strengthened if your military authorities and those of the Government of South Viet-Nam could promptly negotiate an extension of the Tet truce.

* As to the site of the bilateral discussions I propose, there are several possibilities. We could, for example, have our representatives meet in Moscow where contacts have already occurred. They could meet in some other country such as Burma. You may have other arrangements or sites in mind, and I would try to meet your suggestions.

* The important thing is to end a conflict that has brought burdens to both our peoples, and above all to the people of South Viet-Nam. If you have any thoughts about the actions I propose , it would be most important that I receive them as soon as possible.

====October surprise speech (1968)====
[[File:Flag of the United States (Pantone).svg|thumb|I am a free man, an American, a public servant, and a member of my party, in that order always and only.]]
[[File:Lbj2.jpg|thumb|We must always be mindful of this one thing, whatever the trials and the tests ahead. The ultimate strength of our country and our cause will lie not in powerful weapons or infinite resources or boundless wealth, but will lie in the unity of our people.]]
{{smallcite|[[w:October surprise|October surprise]] [http://millercenter.virginia.edu/scripps/diglibrary/prezspeeches/johnson/lbj_1968_0331.html address to the nation (31 March 1968)] Also known as ''The President's Address to the Nation Announcing Steps To Limit the War in Vietnam and Reporting His Decision Not To Seek Reelection'' Source: [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=28772&amp;st=&amp;st1=#axzz2gguIRFi1 Lyndon B. Johnson: &quot;The President's Address to the Nation Announcing Steps To Limit the War in Vietnam and Reporting His Decision Not To Seek Reelection,&quot; (31 March 1968) online at The American Presidency Project by Gerhard Peters and John T. Woolley]}}

* '''Of those to whom much is given, much is asked.''' I cannot say and no man could say that no more will be asked of us.
** An allusion to the [[w:Parable of the Faithful Servant|Parable of the Faithful Servant]]

* I believe that '''we must always be mindful of this one thing, whatever the trials and the tests ahead. The ultimate strength of our country and our cause will lie not in powerful weapons or infinite resources or boundless wealth, but will lie in the unity of our people.'''

* '''Throughout my entire public career I have followed the personal philosophy that I am a free man, an American, a public servant, and a member of my party, in that order always and only.''' For 37 years in the service of our Nation, first as a Congressman, as a Senator, and as Vice President, and now as your President, I have put the unity of the people first. I have put it ahead of any divisive partisanship. And in these times as in times before, it is true that '''a house divided against itself by the spirit of faction, of party, of region, of religion, of race, is a house that cannot stand.'''
** An allusion to the [[w:Lincoln's House Divided Speech|Abraham Lincoln's House Divided Speech]] and a reference to the Gospel of Matthew, 12:25: &quot;[Every] city or house divided against itself shall not stand.&quot;

* What we won when all of our people united just must not now be lost in suspicion, distrust, selfishness, and politics among any of our people. Believing this as I do, '''I have concluded that I should not permit the Presidency to become involved in the partisan divisions that are developing in this political year.''' With America's sons in the fields far away, with America's future under challenge right here at home, with our hopes and the world's hopes for peace in the balance every day, '''I do not believe that I should devote an hour or a day of my time to any personal partisan causes or to any duties other than the awesome duties of this office&amp;nbsp;— the Presidency of your country. Accordingly, I shall not seek, and I will not accept, the nomination of my party for another term as your President.'''

====Remarks on the Civil Rights Act (1968)====
* In the Civil Rights Act of 1964, we affirmed through law that men equal under God are also equal when they seek a job, when they go to get a meal in a restaurant, or when they seek lodging for the night in any State in the Union.

* In the Civil Rights Act of 1965, we affirmed through law for every citizen in this land the most basic right of democracy—the right of a citizen to vote in an election in his country. In the five States where the Act had its greater impact, Negro voter registration has already more than doubled.

* We all know that '''the roots of injustice run deep. But violence cannot redress a solitary wrong, or remedy a single unfairness.''' Of course, all America is outraged at the assassination of [[Martin Luther King, Jr.|an outstanding Negro leader]] who was at that meeting that afternoon in the White House in 1966. And America is also outraged at the looting and the burning that defiles our democracy. We just must put our shoulders together and put a stop to both. The time is here. Action must be now. So, I would appeal to my fellow Americans by saying, '''the only real road to progress for free people is through the process of law''' and that is the road that America will travel.
** [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=28799&amp;st=&amp;st1=#axzz2gguIRFi1 &quot;Remarks Upon Signing the Civil Rights Act (11 April 1968), online at The American Presidency Project by Gerhard Peters and John T. Woolley]

===1970s===
* It's probably better to have him inside the tent pissing out, than outside the tent pissing in.
** On FBI Director [[J. Edgar Hoover]], as quoted in ''[[w:The New York Times|The New York Times]]'' (31 October 1971)
{{Disputed begin}}

==Attributed==
[[File:A2738-19a_small.jpg|thumb|If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you.]]
[[File:Signing of the EOA.jpg|thumb|Negroes, they're getting pretty uppity these days and that's a problem for us since they've got something now they never had before, the political pull to back up their uppityness. Now we've got to do something about this.]]
[[File:Lyndon Johnson signing Medicare bill, with Harry Truman, July 30, 1965.jpg|thumb|I'll have them niggers voting [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democratic]] for two hundred years.]]
* I'll tell you what's at the bottom of it. If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you.
**As quoted in [http://pqasb.pqarchiver.com/washingtonpost/doc/307079109.html?FMT=ABS&amp;FMTS=ABS:FT&amp;date=Nov+13%2C+1988&amp;author=Moyers%2C+Bill+D&amp;desc=What+a+Real+President+Was+Like%3B+To+Lyndon+Johnson%2C+the+Great+Society+Meant+Hope+and+Dignity &quot;What a Real President Was Like: To Lyndon Johnson, the Great Society Meant Hope and Dignity&quot;], by [[Bill Moyers]], ''The Washington Post'' (13 November 1988)

* As long as you are black, and you're gonna be black till the day you die, no one's gonna call you by your goddamn name! So no matter what you are called, nigger, you just let it roll off your back like water, and you’ll make it! Just pretend you're a goddamn piece of furniture!
** Said to his chauffeur, Robert Parker, when Parker said he’d prefer to be referred to by his name rather than &quot;boy,&quot; &quot;nigger&quot; or &quot;chief.&quot; As quoted in {{cite book |last1=Parker |first1=Robert |last2=Rashke |first2=Richard L. |date=1989 |title=Capitol Hill in Black and White |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=JKhpZMj8Z6wC |location=United States |publisher=Penguin Group |page=v |isbn=0515101893 |accessdate=6 January 2015}}

* I'm going to have to bring up the nigger bill again.
** Said to a southern U.S. Senator upon the occasion of the Republicans re-introducing the Civil Right Act of 1957, according to LBJ's Special Counsel Harry McPherson. As quoted in {{cite interview|last=McPherson|first=Harry|interviewer=Michael L. Gillette|title=Transcript, Harry McPherson Oral History Interview VI, 5/16/85, by Michael L. Gillette, LBJLibrary|url=http://www.lbjlib.utexas.edu/johnson/archives.hom/oralhistory.hom/mcpherson/mcpher06.pdf|date=16 May 1985 |publisher=LBJ Presidential Library|location=Austin, Texas|page=2|accessdate=6 January 2015}}
* Let's face it. Our ass is in a crack. We're gonna have to let this nigger bill pass.
** Said to Senator John Stennis (D-MS) during debate on the Civil Rights Act of 1957. As quoted in {{cite book |last=Caro |first=Robert A. |date= 2002|title=The Years of Lyndon Johnson: Master of the Senate, Volume 3 |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=U87rzAqVhbwC |location=New York |publisher=Knopf |page=954 |isbn=0394528360 |accessdate=6 January 2015}}

* Sam, why don't you all let this nigger bill pass?
** Said to Speaker of the House Sam Rayburn (D-TX) regarding the Civil Rights Act of 1957. As quoted in {{cite book |last=Dallek |first=Robert |date=1991 |title=Lone Star Rising: Lyndon Johnson and His Times, 1908-1960 |url=http://books.google.com/books?id=t_LjEJdaAiYC |location=Oxford, England |publisher=Oxford University Press |page=519 |isbn=0195054350 |accessdate=5 July 2014}}

* These Negroes, they're getting pretty uppity these days and that's a problem for us since they've got something now they never had before, the political pull to back up their uppityness. Now we've got to do something about this, we've got to give them a little something, just enough to quiet them down, not enough to make a difference. For if we don't move at all, then their allies will line up against us and there'll be no way of stopping them, we'll lose the filibuster and there'll be no way of putting a brake on all sorts of wild legislation. It'll be Reconstruction all over again.
**Said to Senator Richard Russell, Jr. (D-GA) regarding the Civil Rights Act of 1957. As quoted in [http://books.google.com/books?id=HS9aAAAAYAAJ ''Lyndon Johnson and the American Dream''] (1977), by Doris Kearns Goodwin, New York: New American Library, p. 155

* Son, when I appoint a nigger to the court, I want everyone to know he's a nigger.
**Said to an aide in 1965 regarding the appointment of Thurgood Marshall as associate justice of the Supreme Court. As quoted in {{cite book |last=Dallek |first=Robert |date=1991 |title=Lone Star Rising: Lyndon Johnson and His Times, 1908-1960 |url=http://books.google.com/books?id=t_LjEJdaAiYC |location=Oxford, England |publisher=Oxford University Press |page=519 |isbn=0195054350 |accessdate=5 July 2014}}

* I'll have them niggers voting [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democratic]] for two hundred years.
** Allegedly said to two governors (whose names were not given) regarding the Civil Rights Act of 1964, according to then-''Air Force One'' steward Robert MacMillan. As quoted in [http://books.google.com/books?id=lJz-yIZNE2sC ''Inside the White House''] (1996), by Ronald Kessler, New York: Simon and Schuster, p. 33.
{{Disputed end}}
{{misattributed begin}}

== Misattributed ==
* We have just lost the South for a generation. ''or, sometimes quoted as:''
** I think we just delivered the South to the Republican Party for a long time to come.
** Very widely quoted as an aside to an aide, upon signing the [[w:Civil Rights Act of 1964|Civil Rights Act of 1964]]. For example, in a [https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2014/04/10/remarks-president-lbj-presidential-library-civil-rights-summit speech by Barack Obama at the LBJ Presidential Library] in 2014. But no report cites anyone who heard (or claims to have heard) LBJ say this, and the earliest attribution is 25 years after the fact. See [https://capitalresearch.org/article/we-have-lost-the-south-for-a-generation-what-lyndon-johnson-said-or-would-have-said-if-only-he-had-said-it/ &quot;We have lost the South for a generation&quot;: What Lyndon Johnson said, or would have said if only he had said it].
* When anyone says he’s a country boy, put your hand on your wallet.
** While Lyndon Johnson is reported to have said this (or a variation),  it was not original to him. ''See'' [http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/new_york_city/entry/when_anyone_says_hes_a_country_boy_you_better_put_your_hand_on_your_wallet barrypopik.com] and [https://books.google.com/books?id=WQNo7e3jjysC&amp;pg=PA215#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Texas, A Modern History: Revised Edition].
{{misattributed end}}

==Quotes about Johnson==
:&lt;small&gt;Sorted alphabetically by author or source&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Johnsonliberty.jpg|thumb|Like [[Martin Luther King, Jr.|Doctor King]], like [[Abraham Lincoln]], like countless citizens who have driven this country inexorably forward, President Johnson knew that ours in the end is a story of optimism, a story of achievement and constant striving that is unique upon this Earth. He knew because he had lived that story. He believed that together we can build an America that is more fair, more equal, and more free than the one we inherited. He believed we make our own destiny. And in part because of him, we must believe it as well. ~ [[Barack Obama]] ]]

* '''Chris Cillizza:''' If there is a list of the 15 greatest senators ever, is [[John McCain|McCain]] on it? Why or why not?&lt;br /&gt;'''Ross Baker:''' He’s not up there with [[Henry Clay|[Henry] Clay]], [[Daniel Webster|[Daniel] Webster]], [[John C. Calhoun|[John] Calhoun]], [[Charles Sumner|[Charles] Sumner]] and LBJ, but he’s a lot closer than [[Ted Cruz]] will ever be. Few senators in recent years, however, have had such a stupendous sendoff. He always had the media eating out of his hand. That’s no minor accomplishment.
** CNN article [https://www.cnn.com/2018/08/29/politics/mccain-greatest-senator/index.html ''The ‘thumbs down’ health care vote that enraged Trump is John McCain’s lasting legacy''] (29 August 2018)

*[[Robert F. Kennedy|Bobby]] doubted Johnson's liberalism, thought him insufficiently liberal. [[Ted Kennedy]] did not; in fact, Johnson's new liberal fervor seemed to have stoked Ted's and made him more liberal than he had been during his own brother's administration. He was catching the gust of liberal wind. And Johnson appreciated the support, even as he curried it.
**Neal Gabler, ''Catching the Wind: Edward Kennedy and the Liberal Hour'', 1932-1975 (2020), p. 256

*'''In this respect, [[Ted Kennedy]] was more like Lyndon Johnson than like his brothers. He was laying down his marker on the Senate as Johnson had. He was demonstrating that he could make the institution work.''' It was as if he was seeking to escape the politics of charisma that his brothers had personified and that had, arguably, cost them their lives; as if he was seeking reposition himself as a pol, not a messiah, burying himself in Senate drudgery, retreating into the institution, following Johnson's lead and Humphrey's, both of whom had been whips, protecting himself physically but also spiritually. It was totally uncharacteristic for a Kennedy to do so. No Kennedy had ever been an institutionalist, much less an errand boy.
** Neal Gabler, ''Catching the Wind: Edward Kennedy and the Liberal Hour'', 1932-1975 (2020), p. 434

* An extraordinarily gifted president who was the wrong man from the wrong place at the wrong time under the wrong circumstances.
** [[w:Eric F. Goldman|Eric F. Goldman]], ''The Tragedy of Lyndon Johnson'', Ch. 18 (1969)

* '''Johnson was a dirty [[fighter]].''' Any campaign with him in it would involve a lot of innuendo and lies. Johnson was a wheeler-dealer. Neither he nor anyone else could change that. That's what he was. And Johnson was a treacherous boot. He'd slap you on the back today and stab you in the back tomorrow. Moreover, LBJ was dull. He was a lousy public speaker. The man didn't believe half of what he said. He was a hypocrite, and it came through in the hollowness of his speech. LBJ made me sick.
** [[Barry M. Goldwater]], ''Goldwater'' (1988), co-written with Jack Casserly, p. 151

* The reaction to Bob Woodward’s new book ''Fear'' has been almost completely devoid of historical context. The very folks who are trying to convince us, based on Woodward’s account, that Donald Trump is unhinged are ignoring the fact that Trump is hardly the first American president to have temperamental deficiencies. Many of Trump’s alleged personality-related problems are not new in presidential history. Presenting his eccentricities as evidence of a constitutional crisis reflects a clear bias of omission by those doing the reporting.
** Philip G. Henderson in [https://www.theamericanconservative.com/donald-trump-crazy-like-lbj/ ''Donald Trump: Crazy Like LBJ''] (3 October 2018)

* Johnson was unquestionably an insecure man. A graduate of Southwest Texas State Teachers College, he’d forever felt inferior to anyone with an Ivy League degree, especially if their last name was Kennedy.
** Philip G. Henderson in [https://www.theamericanconservative.com/donald-trump-crazy-like-lbj/ ''Donald Trump: Crazy Like LBJ''] (3 October 2018)

* As noted previously, Lyndon Johnson and [[Woodrow Wilson]] are ranked among the top 11 presidents in American history. Yet how much did their personality flaws actually inhibit their overall records of accomplishment? The same question must be asked of [[Donald Trump]].
** Philip G. Henderson in [https://www.theamericanconservative.com/donald-trump-crazy-like-lbj/ ''Donald Trump: Crazy Like LBJ''] (3 October 2018)

*Even those who believe LBJ laid the groundwork for a more compassionate nation have to concede that the Great Society promised “an end to poverty and racial injustice,” which makes it, by definition, a failure. It was also an electoral loser for decades. Although Vietnam was the primary culprit, Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan were both elected, at least in part, because voters wanted law and order amidst a rising crime rate and heightened cultural anxiety and urban unrest. There was also the sense that the welfare state was too large and that big government liberalism had overreached its mandate.
** Matt Lewis in [https://www.thedailybeast.com/joe-biden-wants-to-be-lbj-but-lyndon-johnsons-presidency-was-a-disaster ''Joe Biden Wants to Be LBJ, but LBJ’s Presidency Was a Disaster''] (23 April 2021)

* Fast-forward to 2021: Joe Biden is riding high, and LBJ is back in vogue—as are many of the same issues he championed (in a sense, an ironic reminder of his failure to fix them). Voting rights and civil rights are front-page news. Police shootings and threats of riots abound. And we are spending money that would have made LBJ blush. Years of congressional gridlock and stasis have caused many to yearn for a “master of the Senate” who can steamroll the opposition and pass landmark legislation. Does Biden have what it takes to finally right our sinking ship?
** Matt Lewis in [https://www.thedailybeast.com/joe-biden-wants-to-be-lbj-but-lyndon-johnsons-presidency-was-a-disaster ''Joe Biden Wants to Be LBJ, but LBJ’s Presidency Was a Disaster''] (23 April 2021)

* Even if Biden avoids all of those dangers, Johnson’s legacy remains flawed. Biden might think he can simply give up on the war in Afghanistan, but the war on poverty is the real “forever war.” As the progressive outlet Mother Jones noted a few years ago, “The government’s official measure of poverty shows that poverty has actually increased slightly since the Johnson administration, rising from 14.2 percent in 1967 to 15 percent in 2012” (although if you include “additional non-cash government aid from safety net programs,” the poverty rate fell during that time). '''It is impressive that LBJ enacted nearly 200 new laws in such a short timespan. That copious output, coupled with its enduring legacy (Medicaid and Medicare, for example), make Johnson a consequential president.''' They do not, however, make him a good one. If the goal was to win the war on poverty, we didn’t achieve it—we are still stuck in a quagmire.
** Matt Lewis in [https://www.thedailybeast.com/joe-biden-wants-to-be-lbj-but-lyndon-johnsons-presidency-was-a-disaster ''Joe Biden Wants to Be LBJ, but LBJ’s Presidency Was a Disaster''] (23 April 2021)

* '''While Lyndon Baines Johnson was a man of time and place, he felt the bitter [[paradox]] of both.''' I was a young man on his staff in 1960 when he gave me a vivid account of that southern schizophrenia he understood and feared. We were in Tennessee. During the motorcade, he spotted some ugly racial epithets scrawled on signs. Late that night in the hotel, when the local dignitaries had finished the last bottles of bourbon and branch water and departed, he started talking about those signs. &quot;I'll tell you what's at the bottom of it,&quot; he said. &quot;If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Some years later when Johnson was president, there was a press conference in the East Room. A reporter unexpectedly asked the president how he could explain his sudden passion for [[civil rights]] when he had never shown much enthusiasm for the cause. The question hung in the air. I could almost hear his silent cursing of a press secretary who had not anticipated this one. But then he relaxed, and from an instinct no assistant could brief&amp;nbsp;— one seasoned in the double life from which he was delivered and hoped to deliver others&amp;nbsp;— '''he said in effect: Most of us don't have a second chance to correct the mistakes of our youth. I do and I am.''' That evening, sitting in the White House, discussing the question with friends and staff, he gestured broadly and said, &quot;[[Eisenhower]] used to tell me that this place was a [[prison]]. I never felt freer.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;In those days, our faith was in integration. The separatist cries would come later, as white flight and black power ended the illusion that an atmosphere of genuine acceptance and respect across color lines would overcome in our time the pernicious effects of a racism so deeply imbedded in American life. But Lyndon Johnson championed that faith. '''He thought the opposite of integration was not just segregation but disintegration&amp;nbsp;— a nation unraveling.'''
** [[Bill Moyers]], in [http://pqasb.pqarchiver.com/washingtonpost/doc/307079109.html?FMT=ABS&amp;FMTS=ABS:FT&amp;date=Nov+13%2C+1988&amp;author=Moyers%2C+Bill+D&amp;desc=What+a+Real+President+Was+Like%3B+To+Lyndon+Johnson%2C+the+Great+Society+Meant+Hope+and+Dignity &quot;What a Real President Was Like; To Lyndon Johnson, the Great Society Meant Hope and Dignity,&quot; ''The Washington Post'' (13 November 1988)]

* '''As a master of [[politics]] and the legislative process, he grasped like few others the power of [[government]] to bring about [[change]].''' …President Johnson liked power. He liked the feel of it, the wielding of it. But that hunger was harnessed and redeemed by a deeper understanding of the human condition; by a sympathy for the underdog, for the downtrodden, for the outcast. And it was a sympathy rooted in his own experience.
** [[Barack Obama]], in [http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2014/04/10/remarks-president-lbj-presidential-library-civil-rights-summit remarks by the President at LBJ Presidential Library Civil Rights Summit at Lyndon B. Johnson Presidential Library in Austin, Texas (10 April 2014)]

* As was true 50 years ago, there are those who dismiss the [[w:Great Society|Great Society]] as a failed experiment and an encroachment on liberty; who argue that government has become the true source of all that ails us, and that poverty is due to the moral failings of those who suffer from it. There are also those who argue, John, that nothing has changed; that racism is so embedded in our DNA that there is no use trying politics&amp;nbsp;— the game is rigged. Yes, it’s true that, despite laws like the [[w:Civil Rights Act of 1964|Civil Rights Act]], and the [[w:Voting Rights Act of 1965|Voting Rights Act]] and [[w: Medicare (United States)|Medicare]], our society is still racked with division and poverty. Yes, race still colors our political debates, and there have been government programs that have fallen short. In a time when cynicism is too often passed off as wisdom, it’s perhaps easy to conclude that there are limits to change; that we are trapped by our own history; and politics is a fool’s errand, and we’d be better off if we roll back big chunks of LBJ’s legacy, or at least if we don’t put too much of our hope, invest too much of our hope in our government. I reject such thinking. Not just because Medicare and Medicaid have lifted millions from suffering; not just because the poverty rate in this nation would be far worse without food stamps and Head Start and all the Great Society programs that survive to this day. I reject such cynicism because I have lived out the promise of LBJ’s efforts. Because [[Michelle Obama|Michelle]] has lived out the legacy of those efforts. Because my daughters have lived out the legacy of those efforts. Because I and millions of my generation were in a position to take the baton that he handed to us. Because of the Civil Rights movement, '''because of the laws President Johnson signed, new doors of opportunity and education swung open for everybody&amp;nbsp;— not all at once, but they swung open. Not just blacks and whites, but also women and Latinos; and Asians and Native Americans; and gay Americans and Americans with a disability. They swung open for you, and they swung open for me. And that’s why I’m standing here today&amp;nbsp;— because of those efforts, because of that legacy.''' And that means we’ve got a debt to pay. That means we can’t afford to be cynical. '''Half a century later, the laws LBJ passed are now as fundamental to our conception of ourselves and our democracy as the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. They are foundational; an essential piece of the American character.'''
** [[Barack Obama]], in remarks by the President at LBJ Presidential Library Civil Rights Summit at Lyndon B. Johnson Presidential Library in Austin, Texas (10 April 2014)

* '''In so many ways, he embodied America, with all our gifts and all our flaws, in all our restlessness and all our big dreams. This man&amp;nbsp;— born into poverty, weaned in a world full of racial hatred&amp;nbsp;— somehow found within himself the ability to connect his experience with the brown child in a small Texas town; the white child in Appalachia; the black child in Watts. As powerful as he became in that Oval Office, he understood them. He understood what it meant to be on the outside. And he believed that their plight was his plight too; that his freedom ultimately was wrapped up in theirs; and that making their lives better was what the hell the presidency was for.''' And those children were on his mind when he strode to the podium that night in the House Chamber, when he called for the vote on the Civil Rights law. “It never occurred to me,” he said, “in my fondest dreams that I might have the chance to help the sons and daughters of those students” that he had taught so many years ago, “and to help people like them all over this country. But now I do have that chance. And I’ll let you in on a secret&amp;nbsp;— I mean to use it. And I hope that you will use it with me.” '''That was LBJ’s greatness.''' That’s why we remember him. And if there is one thing that he and this year’s anniversary should teach us, if there’s one lesson I hope that Malia and Sasha and young people everywhere learn from this day, it’s that with enough effort, and enough empathy, and enough perseverance, and enough courage, people who love their country can change it.
** [[Barack Obama]], in remarks by the President at LBJ Presidential Library Civil Rights Summit at Lyndon B. Johnson Presidential Library in Austin, Texas (10 April 2014)

* '''Like [[Martin Luther King, Jr.|Dr. King]], like [[Abraham Lincoln]], like countless citizens who have driven this country inexorably forward, President Johnson knew that ours in the end is a story of optimism, a story of achievement and constant striving that is unique upon this Earth. He knew because he had lived that story. He believed that together we can build an America that is more fair, more equal, and more free than the one we inherited. He believed we make our own destiny. And in part because of him, we must believe it as well.'''
** [[Barack Obama]], in remarks by the President at LBJ Presidential Library Civil Rights Summit at Lyndon B. Johnson Presidential Library in Austin, Texas (10 April 2014)

* '''What are the similarities and differences between Presidents Johnson and Kennedy? Both are political pros who exude confidence and, generally speaking, embrace the same broad philosophies. But Kennedy was an idealist; Johnson is a pragmatist. Kennedy was a voracious reader, a stickler for detail; Johnson has little patience to read, he hits at the heart of a problem rather than get enmeshed in detail. Kennedy had little luck with Congress; Johnson's 32 years' experience on Capitol Hill caught him how to handle lawmakers. Kennedy's foreign-policy style had a continental touch; Johnson's has the flavor of a Texas barbeque.'''
** [[w:Bill Scott (voice actor)|Bill Scott]], ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20200429132839/https://www.upi.com/Archives/Audio/Events-of-1963/Transition-to-Johnson 1963 Year In Review: Transition to Johnson]'' by the United Press International]&lt;!--  Archived from the [https://www.upi.com/Archives/Audio/Events-of-1963/Transition-to-Johnson original] on April 29, 2020 --&gt; 

* He was just awful&amp;nbsp;— so jealous, so disagreeable and ugly.
** [[w:Charles F. Spalding|Charles F. Spalding]], in a 1997 interview with [[w:Seymour Hersh|Seymour Hersh]], cited in ''The Dark Side of Camelot'' (1997)

* I sleep each night a little better, a little more confidently because Lyndon Johnson is my President. For I know he lives and thinks and works to make sure that for all America and indeed, the growing body of the free world, the morning shall always come.
** [[Jack Valenti]], special assistant to the president, address before the Advertising Federation of America convention, Boston, Massachusetts (June 28, 1965), ''Congressional Record'' (July 7, 1965), vol. 111, Appendix, p. A3583

* Following the trail of some of these transactions resembles the action in a Western movie, where the cowboys ride off in a cloud of dust to the south, the herd stampedes northeastward, the Indians start to westward but, once out of sight, circle toward the north, the rustlers drift eastward and the cavalry, coming to the rescue, gets lost entirely—all over stony ground leaving little trace.
** Keith Wheeler and Michael Lambert, discussing Johnson's financial transactions, in &quot;The Man Who Is President,&quot; part 2, ''Life'' (August 21, 1964), p. 69

* Johnson who had compromised too many contradictions and now the contradictions were in his face: when he smiled the corners of his mouth squeezed gloom; when he was pious, his eyes twinkled irony; when he spoke in a righteous tone, he looked corrupt; when he jested, the ham in his jowls looked to quiver. He was not convincing. He was a Southern politician, a Texas Democrat, a liberal [[Eisenhower]]; he would do no harm, he would do no good, he would react to the machine, good fellow, nice friend&amp;nbsp;— the Russians would understand him better than his own. ...&amp;nbsp;Johnson gave you all of himself, he was a political animal, he breathed like an animal, sweated like one, you knew his mind was entirely absorbed with the compendium of political fact and maneuver.
** [[Norman Mailer]], ''[http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a3858/superman-supermarket/ Superman Comes to the Supermarket]'' (November 1960)

* [[John F. Kennedy|Kennedy]] promised. Johnson delivered.
** [[Arthur Schlesinger, Jr.]], ''The observer'' (20 Nov 1983)

* It was LBJ who pushed through the civil rights bills in 1957, 1964 and 1965 that finally gave African Americans the same rights (at least on paper) as white America. On the other hand, there can be no question that Johnson was a racist who looked down on people of color as inferior.
** Larry Schwartz, &quot;[http://www.alternet.org/civil-liberties/who-was-most-racist-modern-president-5-surprising-candidates-who-fit-bill Who Was the Most Racist Modern President? 5 Surprising Candidates Who Fit the Bill],&quot; AlterNet.org (28 December 2014)

* Johnson was a man of his time, and bore those flaws as surely as he sought to lead the country past them. For two decades in Congress he was a reliable member of the Southern bloc, helping to stonewall civil rights legislation.
** Adam Serwer, &quot;[http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/lyndon-johnson-civil-rights-racism Lyndon Johnson was a civil rights hero. But also a racist.]&quot; MSNBC.com (11 April 2014)&lt;!-- (Updated April 12, 2014) --&gt; 

*As one of our interviewers... says... once you kill a sitting president in high noon in Dealey Plaza and blow his head off, you're not going to go back to normal... After Kennedy was killed, and nobody asked... what was Kennedy's real policy on Vietnam? Well... he was going to pull out of Vietnam. He was very clear about it, and that's what people get confused.  Johnson, Lyndon Johnson, who took over the office went right to war quickly. He went to a far more aggressive posture of Vietnam, which resulted in more-- It was a lie, another lie, and that war was a disaster... Unfortunately, the same forces that made that war happen continued in our life, and they controlled us and pushed us into another war and another war and another war...  we propagandize an enemy, make him far bigger than he is, and I don't know what we're fighting. 
**[[Oliver Stone]],  [https://www.washingtonpost.com/washington-post-live/2021/05/12/transcript-conversation-with-oliver-stone/ Transcript: A Conversation with Oliver Stone,]   (streamed live [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5pgnQ2M9tg on youtube])  ''The Washington Post'' (12 May  2021)

* Lyndon Johnson had fallen into popular disfavor by the time Nixon succeeded him in the White House; but in succeeding Kennedy, winning a landslide over Goldwater, and pushing through Congress not only Kennedy's remaining initiatives but his own Great Society program, Johnson had been by late 1965 perhaps literally more powerful than any of his predecessors. The Tonkin Gulf resolution he maneuvered through Congress left him and for a while Nixon virtually a free hand in Indochina; and in waging one of the biggest wars in American history without Congressional declaration, Johnson notably expanded the already extensive &quot;war powers&quot; of the presidency.
** Tom Wicker, ''One Of Us: Richard Nixon and the American Dream'' (1991), p. 677

==See also==
* [[List of presidents of the United States]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wikisource author}}
{{Commons|Lyndon B. Johnson}}
* [http://www.whitehouse.gov/history/presidents/lj36.html White House biography]
* [http://www.millercenter.virginia.edu/index.php/academic/americanpresident/lbjohnson Extensive essay on Lyndon B. Johnson and shorter essays on each member of his cabinet and First Lady from the Miller Center of Public Affairs ]
* [http://www.lbjlib.utexas.edu/ Lyndon B. Johnson Library]
* [http://www.utexas.edu/lbj/index.php Lyndon B. Johnson School of Public Affairs, The University of Texas at Austin]
* [http://www.mrpophistory.com/samples.htm The 1960's Week-By-Week&amp;nbsp;— Follows Lyndon Johnson through the 1960's. Includes press conferences and other news]
* [http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/lbjletuscontinue.html Complete text and audio and video of Johnson's 'Let Us Continue' Speech]AmericanRhetoric.com
* [http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/lbjweshallovercome.htm Complete text and audio and video of Johnson's Voting Rights Legislation Address to Congress]AmericanRhetoric.com
* [http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/lbjvietman.htm Complete text and audio and video excerpt of Johnson's Vietnam and Renunciation Address]AmericanRhetoric.com
* [http://texashistory.unt.edu/search.tkl?type=subject&amp;q=Johnson,%20Lyndon%20B.&amp;q2=KWD Photos of Lyndon B. Johnson], hosted by the [http://texashistory.unt.edu/ Portal to Texas History]
* [http://www.whitehousetapes.org/pages/tapes_lbj.htm LBJ's secret White House recordings at University of Virginia's Miller Center of Public Affairs]
* [http://www.yale.edu/lawweb/avalon/presiden/inaug/johnson.htm Inaugural Address]
* [http://vvl.lib.msu.edu/showfindingaid.cfm?findaidid=JohnsonLB Audio recordings of Johnson's speeches]
* [http://www.npr.org/features/feature.php?wfId=1507155 ''White House Tapes: Eavesdropping on LBJ'', NPR Weekend Edition audio archives]
* [http://www.livefastdieyoungbook.com/outwalterjenkins.htm Walter Jenkins Scandal]
* [http://www.texasobserver.org/article.php?aid=855 LBJ: Master, or Puppet? The 'Texas Observer' story on Lyndon B. Johnson]
* [http://tigger.uic.edu/~rjensen/vietnam.html Vietnam War] bibliography and guide to online and printed sources
* {{gutenberg author| id=Lyndon+B.+Johnson|name=Lyndon B. Johnson}}
* [http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1507155 &quot;White House Tapes: Eavesdropping on LBJ&quot; at NPR]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Johnson, Lyndon B.}}

[[Category:Members of the United States Senate]]
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[[Category:Anti-communists from the United States]]
[[Category:Presidential Medal of Freedom recipients]]</text>
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    <title>Darth Vader</title>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-27T12:20:59Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
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      <minor />
      <comment>Reverted edit by [[User:24.42.179.206|24.42.179.206]] ([[User talk:24.42.179.206|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/24.42.179.206|contributions]]) to last version by 1.42.162.236</comment>
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      <text bytes="16681" xml:space="preserve">[[w:Darth Vader|Darth Vader]] is a main antihero character from ''[[Star Wars]]''.

==As Anakin Skywalker==

===[[Star Wars#Star Wars: Episode I—The Phantom Menace (1999)|Star Wars: Episode I—The Phantom Menace (1999)]]===

*&quot;I'm a person, and my name is Anakin!&quot; ''(to [[w:Padmé Amidala|Padmé]] when she asks if he's a slave)''
*&quot;Mom, you said that the biggest problem in the universe is that no one helps each other.&quot; ''(trying to convince his mother to help [[Qui-Gon Jinn]])''

===[[Star Wars#Star Wars: Episode II—Attack of the Clones (2002)|Star Wars: Episode II—Attack of the Clones (2002)]]===

*Obi-Wan: &quot;Why do I get the feeling you're going to be the death of me?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;Don't say that, master. You're the closest thing I have to a father.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Obi-Wan: &quot;Then why don't you listen to me?&quot;
*Anakin (to Padmé): &quot;From the moment I met you, all those years ago, not a day has gone by when I haven't thought of you. And now that I'm with you again... I'm in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you- I can't breathe. I'm haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me. My heart is beating... hoping that kiss will not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormenting me... what can I do? I will do anything you ask.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;[uncomfortable pause]&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;If you are suffering as much as I am, please, tell me.&quot;
*&quot;I killed them. I killed them all. They're dead, every single one of them. And not just the men, but the women, and the children, too! They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals! I hate them!&quot; ''(after slaughtering the Sand People that captured/killed [[w:Shmi Skywalker|his mother]])''
*&quot;It's all Obi-Wan's fault! He's jealous! He's holding me back! (to [[w:Padmé Amidala|Padmé]])
*Padmé: &quot;You're not all-powerful, Ani.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;Well, I should be! Some day I will be... I will be the most powerful Jedi ever. I promise you. I will even learn to stop people from dying.&quot;
*''(Padme falls from the ship)''&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;Padmé!! Put the ship down!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Obi-Wan: &quot;Anakin! Don't let your personal feelings get in the way. Follow that speeder.&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;Lower the ship!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Obi-Wan: &quot;I can't take Dooku alone, I need you. If we catch him, we can end this war right now. We have a job to do!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;I don't care, put the ship down.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Obi-Wan: &quot;You will be expelled from the Jedi Order!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;I can't leave her!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Obi-Wan: &quot;Come to your senses! What do you think Padmé would do were she in your position?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;She would do her duty.&quot;
*''(Anakin blocks Count Dooku's lightsaber before it hits Obi-Wan)''&lt;br /&gt;Dooku: &quot;Brave of you, boy. I would have thought you had learned your lesson.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Anakin: &quot;I am a slow learner.&quot;

===[[Star Wars#Star Wars: Episode III—Revenge of the Sith (2005)|Star Wars: Episode III—Revenge of the Sith (2005)]]===

*&quot;He was an unarmed prisoner.&quot; ''(about [[w:Count Dooku|Count Dooku]] after Anakin chopped his head off)''
*&quot;Something is happening. I'm not the Jedi I should be.  I want more, but I know I shouldn't.&quot; ''(to [[w:Padmé Amidala|Padmé]])''
* &quot;You're the Sith Lord!&quot;
* Palpatine: &quot;Are you going to kill me?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;I would certainly like to.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Palpatine: &quot;I know you would. I can feel your anger. It gives you focus, makes you ''stronger''.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;I'm going to turn you over to the Jedi Council.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Palpatine: &quot;Of course, you should. But you're not so sure of their intentions, are you?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;I will quickly discover the truth of all this.&quot; &lt;br /&gt;Palpatine: &quot;You have great wisdom, Anakin. Know the power of the Dark Side. The power to save Padmé.&quot;
*Anakin: &quot;Master Windu.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Windu: &quot;Skywalker, we've just received word that Obi-Wan has destroyed General Grievous. We're on our way now to make sure the Chancellor returns emergency power back to the Senate.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;He won't give up his power. I just learned a terrible truth. I think Chancellor Palpatine is a Sith Lord.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Windu: &quot;A ''Sith Lord''?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;Yes, the one we've been looking for.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Windu: &quot;How do you know this?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;He knows the ways of the Force. He's been trained to use the Dark Side.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Windu: &quot;Are you sure?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;Absolutely.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Windu: &quot;Then our worst fears have been realized. We must move quickly if the Jedi Order is to survive.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;Master, the Chancellor is very powerful. You'll need my help if you're going to arrest him.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Windu: &quot;For your own good, stay out of this affair. I sense a great deal of confusion in you, young Skywalker. There is much fear that clouds your judgment.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;I ''must'' go, Master.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Windu: &quot;''No''. If what you told me is true, you will have gained my trust. But for now, stay here. Wait in the Council Chamber until we return.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;Yes, Master.&quot;
*Mace Windu: &quot;I am going to end this, once and for all!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;You cant! he must stand trial.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Windu: &quot;He has control of the Senate and the Courts! He's too dangerous to be left alive!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;It's not the Jedi way. He must live. ''(Windu raises his saber to kill Palpatine)'' &quot;I need him!&quot; ''(Windu still tries to kill Palpatine'') &quot;NOOOOO!&quot; ''(activates lightsaber and severs Windu's lightsaber hand)''
* Anakin: &quot;What have I done?!&quot; ''(after assisting Palpatine in killing Mace Windu)''&lt;br /&gt;Palpatine: &quot;You're fulfilling your destiny, Anakin. Become my apprentice. Learn to use the Dark Side of the Force.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;I will do whatever you... ask.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Palpatine: &quot;Good.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;Just help me save Padmé's life. I can't live without her.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Palpatine: &quot;To cheat death is a power only one has achieved. But if we work together, I know we can discover the secret.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;I pledge myself to your teachings.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Palpatine: &quot;Good... good. The Force is strong with you. A powerful Sith, you will become. Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth... Vader.&quot;

===[[Star Wars#Star Wars: Episode VI—Return of the Jedi (1983)|Star Wars: Episode VI—Return of the Jedi (1983)]]===

*Anakin: &quot;Luke, help me take... this mask off.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Luke: But you'll die.&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;Nothing... can stop that now... Just for once... let me... look on you, with my own eyes.&quot; [Luke removes Vader's mask and looks at the aged Jedi] Now... go, my son. Leave me.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Luke: &quot;No, you're coming with me. I'll not leave you here, I've got to save you!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Anakin: &quot;You already have, Luke. You were right. You were right about me. Tell  your sister, you were right.&quot; ''(Before dying in Luke's arms)''

==As Darth Vader==

===[[Star Wars#Star Wars: Episode III—Revenge of the Sith (2005)|Star Wars: Episode III—Revenge of the Sith (2005)]]===

*&quot;Thank you... my master.&quot;
*&quot;I agree, the Council's next move will be against the Senate.&quot;
*&quot;What about the other Jedi spread across the Galaxy?&quot;
*&quot;The Separatists have been 'taken care of', my Master.&quot;
*Darth Vader: &quot;I saw your ship. What are you doing out here?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Padmé: &quot;I was worried. Obi-Wan told me terrible things.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;What things?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Padmé: &quot;He said you turned to the Dark Side, that you killed ''younglings''.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;Obi-Wan is trying to turn you against me.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Padmé: &quot;He cares about us.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;Us?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Padmé: &quot;He knows, he wants to help you. Anakin, all I want is your love.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;Love won't save you, Padmé, only my new powers can do that.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Padmé: &quot;But at what cost? You're a good person, Anakin, don't do this.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;I won't lose you the way I lost my mother. I am becoming more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of. And I'm doing it for you, to protect you.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Padmé: &quot;Come away with me, help me raise our child. Leave everything else behind while we still can!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;Don't you see, we don't have to run away anymore. I have brought peace to the Republic. I am more powerful than the Chancellor, I can overthrow him. Then together, you and I can rule the Galaxy, make things the way we want them to be.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Padmé: &quot;I don't believe what I'm hearing. Obi-Wan was right, you've changed.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;I don't want to hear anymore about Obi-Wan. The Jedi turned against me. Don't ''you'' turn against me!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Padmé: &quot;I don't know you anymore. Anakin, you're breaking my heart. You're going down a path I can't follow.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;Because of Obi-Wan?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Padmé: &quot;Because of what you've done, what you plan to do. Stop! Stop now! Come back! I love you!&quot; &lt;br /&gt;Vader: ''(discovers Obi-Wan)'' &quot;Liar!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Padmé: &quot;No!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;You're with him! You brought him here to ''kill me''!&quot; ''(force-chokes Padmé)''&lt;br /&gt;Obi-Wan: &quot;Let her go, Anakin!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Padmé: ''(weakly)'' &quot;Anakin...&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Obi-Wan: &quot;Let her ''go''!&quot;
*Darth Vader: &quot;You turned her against me!!!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Obi-Wan Kenobi: &quot;You have done that yourself!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;You will not take her from me!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Obi-Wan: &quot;Your anger and your lust for power have already done that!&quot;
*Obi-Wan Kenobi: &quot;You have allowed this Dark Lord to twist your mind, until now you have become the very thing you swore to destroy.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Darth Vader: &quot;Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan. I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the Dark Side as you do. I have brought peace, freedom, justice and security to my new empire!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Obi-Wan: &quot;&lt;i&gt;Your&lt;/i&gt; new empire?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;Don't make me kill you.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Obi-Wan: &quot;Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic, TO DEMOCRACY!!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;If you're not with me, then you're my enemy!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Obi-Wan: &quot;Only a Sith deals in absolutes. I will do what I must.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;You will try.&quot;
*Obi-Wan: &quot;I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;I should've known the Jedi were plotting to take over!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Obi-Wan: &quot;Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is evil!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Obi-Wan: &quot;Well, then you are lost!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;This is the end for you, my master.&quot;
*Obi-Wan: &quot;It's over, Anakin! I have the high-ground!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;You underestimate my power!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Obi-Wan: &quot;Don't try it.&quot;
*Obi-Wan: &quot;You were the Chosen One! It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them! Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!&quot;&lt;br /&gt; Vader ''(screaming)'': &quot;I ''hate'' you!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Obi-Wan: &quot;You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you.&quot;
*Palpatine: &quot;Lord Vader, can you hear me?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;Yes, Master. Where is Padmé? Is she safe? Is she alright?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Palpatine:&quot;It seems, in your anger, you killed her.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;I... I couldn't have. She was alive! I felt it!&quot; ''(screams violently and destroys many medical droids)'' &quot;NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!&quot;

===[[Rogue One|Rogue One (2016)]]===
*&quot;Be careful not to choke on your aspirations, Krennic.&quot;

===[[Star Wars#Star Wars: Episode IV—A New Hope (1977)|Star Wars: Episode IV—A New Hope (1977)]]===
*&quot;Where are those transmissions you intercepted? ''What'' have you done with those plans?&quot;
*&quot;If this is a consular ship, where is the ambassador?&quot; ''(while holding an officer serving under Captain Antilles and choking the officer to death)''
*&quot;Commander, tear this ship apart until you've found those plans,  and bring me the passengers, I want them alive!&quot;
*&quot;You are a part of the Rebel Alliance, and a traitor.  Take her away!&quot; ''(first sentence to Leia, second sentence to the Stormtroopers)''
*&quot;Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.&quot; ''(to Admiral Motti)''
*&quot;I find your lack of faith disturbing.&quot; ''(while Force-choking Admiral Motti)''
*Tarkin: &quot;Vader, release him!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;As you wish...&quot; ''(Vader releases Motti)''
*&quot;Escape is not his plan. I must face him, alone.&quot; ''(to Grand Moff Tarkin)''
*&quot;Your powers are weak, old man.&quot; ''(to Obi-Wan Kenobi)''
*&quot;When I left you I was but the learner, now I am the master.&quot; ''(to Obi-Wan Kenobi)''
*&quot;This will be a day long remembered. It has seen the end of Kenobi, and will soon see the end of the Rebellion.&quot;
*&quot;The Force is strong with this one.&quot; ''(about Luke Skywalker)''
*&quot;I have you now!&quot; ''(attempting to shoot down Luke Skywalker)''

===[[Star Wars#Star Wars: Episode V—The Empire Strikes Back (1980)|Star Wars: Episode V—The Empire Strikes Back (1980)]]===

*&quot;Apology accepted, Captain Needa.&quot; (after Force-choking him to death)
*Vader: &quot;There will be a substantial reward for the one who finds the Millennium Falcon. You are free to use any methods necessary, but I want them alive. No disintegrations.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Boba Fett: &quot;As you wish.&quot;
*&quot;The Force is with you young Skywalker... but you are not a Jedi yet.&quot;
*&quot;All too easy.&quot;
*&quot;Perhaps you are not as strong as the Emperor thought.&quot;
*&quot;Impressive... Most impressive.&quot;
*Vader: &quot;Luke, you do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict, and bring order to the galaxy.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Luke: &quot;I'll never join you!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;If you only knew the power of the Dark Side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father...&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Luke: &quot;He told me enough... he told me you killed him.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;No... ''I'' am your father.&quot;
*&quot;Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son!&quot;
*&quot;What is thy bidding, my master?&quot;
*&quot;You have failed me for the last time, Admiral.&quot;
*&quot;Obi-Wan has taught you well.&quot;
*&quot;Don't make me destroy you.&quot;
*&quot;Asteroids do not concern me, Admiral. I want that ship, not excuses.&quot;
*Vader: &quot;What is thy bidding, my Master?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Palpatine: &quot;There is a great disturbance in the Force.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;I have felt it.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Palpatine: &quot;We have a new enemy: Luke Skywalker.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;Yes, my Master.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Palpatine: &quot;He could destroy us.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;He's just a boy, Obi-Wan can no longer help him&quot;.&lt;br /&gt;Palpatine: &quot;The Force is strong with him. The son of Skywalker must not become a Jedi.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;If he could be turned, he would become a powerful ally...&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Palpatine: &quot;Yes. Yes. He would be a great asset. Can it be done?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;He will join us, or die, Master.&quot;
*&quot;Alert my Star Destroyer to prepare for my arrival.&quot;
*Vader: ''(through the Force)'' &quot;Luke.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Luke: ''(lying in the Millennium Falcon's med bay)'' &quot;Father?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;Son, come with me.&quot;

===[[Star Wars#Star Wars: Episode VI—Return of the Jedi (1983)|Star Wars: Episode VI—Return of the Jedi (1983)]]===

*&quot;You may dispense with the pleasantries, Commander.  I am here to put you back on schedule.&quot;
*&quot;He is most displeased with your apparent lack of progress.&quot;
*&quot;The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am.&quot;
*&quot;He will come to me?&quot;
*&quot;Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong.&quot;
*&quot;What of the reports of the rebel fleet massing near Sullust?&quot;
*&quot;I see you have constructed a new lightsaber. Your skills are complete.&quot;
*&quot;Indeed you are powerful, as the Emperor has forseen.&quot;
*Vader: &quot;So, you have accepted the truth?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Luke: &quot;I've accepted the truth that you were once Anakin Skywalker, my father.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;That name no longer has any meaning for me.&quot;
*&quot;It is too late for me, my son.&quot;
*&quot;You don't know the power of the Dark Side. I must obey my master.&quot;
*&quot;You are unwise to lower your defenses!&quot;
*Luke: &quot;Your thoughts betray you, father. I feel the good in you, the conflict.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;There is no conflict.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Luke: &quot;You couldn't bring yourself to kill me before, and I don't believe you'll destroy me now.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Vader: &quot;You under estimate the power of the dark side. If you will not fight, then you will meet your destiny!&quot;
*&quot;So... you have a twin sister? Your feelings have now betrayed her, too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me; now his failure is complete.  If you will not turn to the dark side, then perhaps ''she'' will.&quot; ''(referring to Luke's sister, Leia)''
[[Category:Fictional characters]]

==About Darth Vader==
*&quot;Twisted by the Dark Side, young Skywalker has become. The boy you trained... gone he is... consumed by Darth Vader.&quot; —[[Yoda]] ''(to Obi-Wan)''
*&quot;You will not stop me, Darth Vader will become more powerful than either of us!&quot; - [[Darth Sidious]] ''(to Yoda)''
*&quot;Your father was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker, and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man that was your father was destroyed.&quot; - [[Obi-Wan Kenobi]] ''(to Luke Skywalker)''
*&quot;He's more machine now, than man. Twisted and evil.&quot; - [[Obi-Wan Kenobi]] ''(to Luke Skywalker)''
*&quot;... the person who you thought was the villain, is really the victim.&quot; - [[George Lucas]] in the documentary, The Chosen One</text>
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    <title>How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000 film)</title>
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      <text bytes="53168" xml:space="preserve">{{DISPLAYTITLE:''Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas'' (film)}}
:''For the 1966 animated cartoon, see [[How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (TV special)]]''.

'''''[[w:How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000 film)|How the Grinch Stole Christmas]]''''' (also known as '''''Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas'''''), or simply '''''The Grinch''''', is a [[w:2000 in film|2000]] film starring [[Jim Carrey]] as the Grinch and narrated by [[Anthony Hopkins]].

:''Directed by [[w:Ron Howard (American director)|Ron Howard]]. Book by [[Dr. Seuss]]. Screenplay by Jeffrey Price and Peter S. Seaman.''

== The Grinch ==
* One man's toxic sludge is another man's potpourri.
* I am the Grinch that stole Christmas... and I'm sorry. 
* Oh, no. The sleigh, the presents, they'll be destroyed, and I care! What is the ''deal''?! Wait!
* ''[Frustrated]'' Ugh. Bleeding hearts of the world ''UNITE!''
* ''[After Martha says that her gifts from Mayor May Who are dazzling and The Grinch angrily scratched her new car from Mayor May Who]'' Of course, they are. That's what it's all about, isn't it? ''[Laughing]'' That's what it's always been about! Gifts. Gifts. Gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts! Do you know what happens to your gifts? They all come to me. In your garbage. You see what I'm saying? In your garbage! I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I found at the dump! And the avarice! The avarice never ends! &quot;I want golf clubs! I want diamonds! I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored, and sell it to make glue!&quot; Look, I don't wanna make waves, but this ''whole'' Christmas season is '''''stupid, stupid, stupid!''' [looks up to and advances towards Martha May Whovier]'' There is, however... 1... teeny-tiny... Christmas tradition... I find... quite... meaningful. ''[furiously snatches up a sprig of mistletoe from Martha]'' Mistletoe. Now, pucker up and KISS IT, Whoville! ''Boi-i-i-i-i-i-ing! [angrily puts a bit of mistletoe over his butt, and then angrily waggles it; later angrily shaves off the Mayor's hair with the same razor he gave the Grinch to tease him]'' Uh, oh. Somebody's... ''fabulous! [kisses the Mayor]''
* ''[smashes a glass bottle and stuffs it into his mouth]'' Am I just eating because I am bored?
* ''[singing] ♪ Tick tock, tick tock. ♪&lt;br /&gt;♪ Counting down the Christmas clock. ♪&lt;br/&gt;♪ Old, young, big, small–♪ [Realizes he's singing] &lt;big&gt;'''RA-AAAAA-AUGH!!!'''&lt;/big&gt; [angrily covers his ears with his pillow] Blast'' this Christmas music! It's joyful ''and'' triumphant.
* And then all the noise.&lt;br /&gt;All the noise, noise, noise, ''NOISE!''&lt;br /&gt;They'll bang on tong-tinglers, blow their foo-flounders, they'll crash on jang-jinglers, and bounce on boing-bounders! ''['''Narrator:''' Then Who's young and old will sit down to a feast, and they'll feast and they'll feast.] [while jumping angrily]'' And they'll feast, feast, feast, feast!&lt;br /&gt;They'll eat their Who ''pudding'' and rare Who roast beast!&lt;br /&gt;Which is something I cannot ''stand'' in the least. ''[realizing what he's said]'' Oh, noǃ &lt;big&gt; '''I'M SPEAKING IN RHY-YME! AAAHHHH! BLAST YOU, WHOS!''' &lt;/big&gt; ''[sobs]''
*''[The Grinch is causing chaos all over Whoville. He tries to signal a cab.]'' Taxi! ''[The taxi drives right by him]'' It's because I'm ''green'', isn't it?!
* Oh, well. It's just toys, right? ''['''Cindy:''' Hi, Mr. Grinch.] [gasps]'' {{small|Cindy Lou…}} &lt;big&gt;'''WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THERE?!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''['''Cindy:''' I came to see you. No one should be alone on Christmas.]''
* ''[points to name]'' Aardvarkian Abakenezer Who, I... &lt;big&gt;'''HATE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!'''&lt;/big&gt; Aaron B. Benson Who, I hate'' you. ''Hate, hate, hate. Hate, hate, hate. ''Double'' hate. ''[sees a name (maybe Mayor Augustus May Who) in the phonebook; venomously] &lt;big&gt;'''LOATHE ENTIRELY!'''&lt;/big&gt; [hears music playing in Whoville]'' Nutcrackers. It's their Whobilation.
* ''[After the Grinch starts up his sleigh outside his cave]'' THIS IS ''NUTS! [Max barks]'' ON, CRASHER! ON, THRASHER! ON, VOMIT AND BLITZKRIEG–! ''[on the sleigh he made; freaking out]'' '''WE'RE GONNA DIE, WE'RE GONNA DIE!! I'M GOING TO THROW UP, AND THEN I'M GONNA &lt;big&gt;DIE!!!&lt;/big&gt; ''MOMMY, TELL IT TO STOP!!''''' ''[sobs, then calms down]'' Ha! Almost lost my ''cool'' there.
* ''[joyfully]'' Merry christmas, one and all!
* ''[joyfully]'' Play, monkey! Play! ''[rides on a jackhammer while vocalizing]'' &lt;big&gt;'''OWIE!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
* [[Back to the Future Part II|I asked for 3/4, not 5/8.]] Stay focused!
* '''''Max''''', fetch me my sedative! Now to take care of those pesky memories. ''[hits himself with a hammer, knocking himself out cold]''
* Holiday Whobie-wantie?

== The Narrator ==
* ''[first words of the movie]'' Inside a snowflake, like the one on your sleeve, there happened a story you must ''see'' to believe.&lt;br /&gt;Way up in the mountains, in the high range of Pontoos, lay the small town of Whoville: The Home of the Whos.&lt;br /&gt;Ask any Who, and they'll have this to say, &quot;There is no place like Whoville around Christmas Day.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Every window was flocked, every lamppost was dressed and the Whoville band marched in their Christmasy best.&lt;br /&gt;Arbor Day was fine and Easter was pleasant and every St. Fizzin's day, they ate a Fizz pheasant, but every Who knew, from their 12 toes to their snout they loved Christmas the most, without a single Who doubt.
* Yes, every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot… but the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville… did not.
* The Grinch hated Christmas. The whole Christmas season.&lt;br /&gt;Now, please, don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.&lt;br /&gt;It could be that his head wasn't screwed on just right.&lt;br /&gt;Or it could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.&lt;br /&gt;But I think that the most likely reason of all… may have been that his heart was 2 sizes too small.
* Sweet little Cindy didn't know what to do.&lt;br /&gt;In her head, bum-tumbled a conflict or 2 - &quot;If the Grinch was so bad, then why did he save me? Maybe he wasn't so bad Maybe. Just maybe.&quot;
* Cindy Lou had some questions in her curious heart. Why ''did'' the Grinch hate Christmas? Where did it all start? With her dad's blabbacorder, she wouldn't give an inch. ''['''Cindy Lou Who:''' In your own words, please tell me everything you know about the Grinch.]''
* So whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes, he stood outside his cave, ''hating'' the Whos. ''['''Grinch:''' ...Alphabetically. [points to name] Aardvarkian Abakenezer Who, I... &lt;big&gt;'''HATE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!'''&lt;/big&gt; Aaron B. Benson Who, I hate'' you. ''Hate, hate, hate. Hate, hate, hate.'' Double ''hate. [sees a name (maybe Mayor Augustus May Who) in the phonebook; venomously] &lt;big&gt;'''LOATHE ENTIRELY!'''&lt;/big&gt; [hears music playing in Whoville] Nutcrackers. It's their Whobilation.]'' He snarled with a sneer. ''['''Grinch:''' Tomorrow is Christmas. It's practically here. MAX! Fetch me my sedative! Now to take care of those pesky memories.]''
* The whipperwinds whipped high above the Who town.&lt;br /&gt;A trip or a slip, you'd slide all the way down, but this girl had a mission.&lt;br /&gt;She knew what to do. She'd invite the Grinch herself, that brave Cindy Lou.
* ''['''Clock Operator:''' Only 4 hours till Christmas!]'' Yes, the Grinch knew tomorrow all the Who girls and boys would wake bright and early and rush for their toys. ''['''Grinch:''' And then, oh, the noise! Oh, the noise, noise, noise, '''noise!''' They'll bang on tong-tinglers They'll blow their ﬂoo-ﬂounders. They'll crash on Jang-jinglers and bounce on boing-bounders!]'' Then Whos young and old would sit down to a feast. and they'll feast, and they'll feast. ''['''Grinch:''' And they'll feast, feast, feast, feast! They'll eat their Who-''pudding ''and rare Who roast'' beast, ''which is something I just cannot'' stand ''in the least. Oh, no. &lt;big&gt; '''I'M SPEAKING IN RHY-YME! AAAHHHH! BLAST YOU, WHOS!''' &lt;/big&gt; [sobs]]'' And the more the Grinch thought of what Christmas would bring, the more the Grinch thought ''['''Grinch:''' I must stop this whole thing. Why for'' year ''after'' year, ''I've put up with it now. I must stop this Christmas from coming! But how? I mean, in what way?]''
* ''['''Grinch:''' [pulls Max out of snow, not noticing the snow beard] If you're not going to help me, then you might as well… [stops; notices the snow beard on Max]]'' Then he got an idea; An ''awful'' idea. The Grinch got a wonderful, ''awful'' idea. ''['''Grinch:''' I know...'' just ''what to do. [cut to red fabric being cut by the Grinch]]'' The Grinch laughed in his throat… ''['''Grinch:''' Ha.]'' And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat. ''[crunch; Grinch shouts in shock, and sees his fingers sewn on the red fabric and faints.]'' And he chuckled and clucked at this great Grinchy trick. ''['''Grinch:''' With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick! Ho, ho, ho!]''
* ''['''Santa Claus:''' Ho-ho-ho!] ['''Grinch:''''' Fat boy ''should be finishing up anytime now. Talk about a recluse. He only comes out once a'' year, ''and'' he ''never catches any'' flak ''for it! Probably lives up there to avoid the taxes.] ['''Santa Claus:''' [flying with his reindeer] Merry Christmas!] ['''Grinch:''' Oopsie. Forgot about the reindeer.]'' Did that stop the old Grinch? ''No.'' The Grinch simply said: ''['''Grinch:''' If I can't find a reindeer, I'll '''make''' one instead. [reaches for Max, who whimpers and runs away.] Oh, '''Ma-a-a-a-a-AXXXX!''']'' So he called his dog Max. Then he took some red thread… and tied a big horn... on top of his head.
* All their windows were dark, quiet snow filled the air. All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care when he came to the first little house on the square. ['''''Grinch:''''' ''Welcome to Whoville, Max!]''
* ''['''Grinch:''' [arrives on the roof with Max] C'mon, Max. It's our first stop!]'' The old Grinchy Claus hissed, and he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist. [the Grinch prepares to go down the chimney with rope on his feet] He'd slide down the chimney, a rather tight pinch. But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch. ''['''Grinch:''' [imitating sports announcer] He's planning a double-twisting interrupted by forward-flying 2 1/2 with a combo tuck and pike… High degree of difficulty. [jumps high in the air as bungee jumping while vocalizing] Whoo! [leans closer to the chimney] '''LAA-LAAA-LAAAAAAAA!!!''' [lands in the chimney upside down, and gets stuck since he gained a couple of pounds from the Whobilation]]'' He got stuck only once... for a moment or 2. ''['''Grinch:''' Blasted water weight. Goes right to my hips. [struggles his arms to free himself as he slides down and lands and hits his head by the fireplace] Ow! Gee! [looks at the view of the living room]]'' Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue... ''['''Grinch:''' [to the narrator; breaking the 4th wall again] Shh. A little more stealth, please.] [whispering]'' {{small|...Where the little Who stockings are all hung in a row.}} ''['''Grinch:''' These stockings...] [normal voice]'' He grinned. ''['''Grinch:''' ...Are the first thing(s) to go. [picks out a jar of moths] Okay, fellas. Chow time. [frees the moths, sticks his head back up just as the moths eat the stockings]]''
* Then he slunk to the icebox. ''['''Grinch:''' [hugs the fridge into place.] Slunk. [opens up the fridge]]'' He ''eyed'' the Whos feast. He took the Who pudding! ''[The Grinch throws a plate of Who pudding away]'' He took... the Roast Beast! ''['''Grinch:''' [imitating football player] '''HIKE!!!!!!!!!!''' [tosses the Roast Beast in a football hike position, and messes everything up the fridge]]'' He cleaned out the icebox as quick as a flash. Why, that Grinch… he even took their last can of Who Hash. ''[The Grinch opens up the cupboard to reveal the last can of Who Hash inside in it just as Cindy opens the door.]'' Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee. ''['''Grinch:''' And now...]'' Grinned The Grinch. ''['''Grinch:''' [grabs the tree] ...I'll stuff up the tree! [walks to the fireplace with the Christmas tree]'' And the Grinch grabbed the tree as he started to shove... when he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove. ''['''Cindy Lou Who:''' Excuse me.]'' ''[the Grinch stops, and hides behind the tree]'' The Grinch had been caught by this tiny Who daughter who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water. ''['''Cindy Lou Who:''' Santa Claus? What are you doing with our tree?]'' But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick... ''[Grinch coughs]'' ...He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick. ''['''Grinch:''' [imitating Santa] Why, my sweet little tot.]'' The fake Santa Claus lied. ''['''Grinch:''' There's a light on this tree... that won't ''light'' on one side. So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear. [laughs, and Cindy giggles] I'll fix it up there, and I'll bring it back here.] ['''Cindy Lou Who:''' Santa, what's Christmas really about?] ['''Grinch:''' Vengeance! Er, I mean... presents... I suppose.] ['''Cindy Lou Who:''' I was afraid of that.]'' And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head, and he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.
* And when Cindy Lou went up with her cup... ''['''Grinch:''' Nice kid. Bad judge of character.]'' ...He went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up. ''[the Grinch stuffed the tree up the Chimney, grabs the Christmas lights, and goes up the chimney]'' And the last thing he took was the log for their fire. On their walls, he left nothing but some hooks and some wire. And the one speck of food that he'd left in the house, was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse. Then he slithered and slunk with a smile most unpleasant, around each Who home, and he took every present.
* 3,000 feet up.&lt;br /&gt;Up the side of Mt. Crumpit.&lt;br /&gt;He rode with his load to the tip-top to dump it.
* ''['''Grinch:''' Oh, the wailing and the gnashing of teeth. The bellowing of the bitterly bummed out! It'll be like music to my ears! [strains harder, and stops to hear faint singing]'' Then the Grinch heard a sound rising over the snow. It started in low. Then it started to grow. ''['''Grinch:''' Huh? Whuh?]'' But the sound wasn't sad. Why this sounded merry. But it was merry. Very. Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small... were singing without any presents at all. He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming. It came. ''['''Grinch:''' Somehow or other, it'' came ''just the'' same!''] ['''Cindy Lou Who:''' Mr. Grinch?]'' And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling. ''['''Grinch:''' How could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags!]'' And he puzzled and puzzled, 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something... he hadn't before. ''['''Grinch:''' Maybe...Christmas...]'' He thought... ''['''Grinch:''' ...Doesn't... come from a store. Maybe Christmas… perhaps… [warmly] ...Means a little bit more. [gets a sudden thump in his chest] Max! Help me! I'm... feeling! [wheezes, and sees his small heart growing]]'' And what happened then? Well, in Whoville they say that the Grinch's small heart... grew 3 sizes... that day.
* ''[last lines]'' So he brought back the toys and the food for the feast.&lt;br /&gt;And he, he himself the Grinch, carved the roast beast.

== Cindy Lou Who ==
* You're the, the, the, the– ''['''Grinch:''' [imitating Cindy Lou Who] &quot;The, the, the, the–&quot; [normal voice; loudly] THE GRINCH!]'' Aah! ''[falls down a mail shaft]'' Help! ''['''Grinch:''' Well...]'' Help! ''['''Grinch:''' That worked out nicely.]''
* ''['''Narrator:''' Cindy Lou had some questions in her curious heart. Why'' did ''the Grinch hate Christmas? Where did it all start? With her dad's blabbacorder, she wouldn't give an inch.]'' In your own words, please tell me everything you know about the Grinch.
* Santa Claus, what are you doing with our tree? ''['''Narrator:''' But you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick… [Grinch coughs] ...He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick.] ['''Grinch:''' [imitating Santa] Why-hy-hyy, my sweet little tot!] ['''Narrator:''' The fake Santa Claus lied.] ['''Grinch''': There's a light on this tree that won't... light on one side, so I'm taking it home to my w-wo-orkshop, my dear. [laughs and Cindy giggles] I'll fix it up there… and I'll bring it... back here.]'' Santa, what's Christmas really about? ''['''Grinch''': [pops out through the tree, startling Cindy] Vengeance! Er, I mean… presents... I suppose.]'' I was afraid of that. ''['''Narrator:''' And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head, and he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.]'' Santa? ''['''Grinch:''' [sharply] What?!]'' Don't forget the Grinch. I know he's mean, and hairy and scary... His hands might be cold and clammy. But I think he's actually... sweet. ''['''Grinch:''' &quot;Sweet&quot;!? You think he's sweet?]'' Merry Christmas, Santa.

== Dialogue ==
:'''The Grinch''': ''[after Max scared off some teen Whos]'' Well done, Max! Serves them right, those yuletide-loving... sickly-sweet, nog-sucking cheer mongers! ''[angrily picks up an onion]'' I really don't like 'em. Mm-mm. No, I don't. ''[hungrily eats the onion] &lt;big&gt;'''MAX!'''&lt;/big&gt; [Max whimpers]'' Get my cloak. ''[Max runs back inside]'' I've been much too tolerant of these Who-venile delinquents, and their innocent, victim-less pranks. ''[rubs his pits with the onion]'' So they wanna get to know me, do they? ''[angrily throws away the onion]'' They want to spend a little quality time with the Grinch. ''[turns to the camera]'' I guess I could use a little... social interaction. ''[shows off a sinister-looking smile; the scene fades to Whoville with a view of Max and the Grinch's feet]''
:'''Whoville Bike Men''': Merry Christmas!
:'''Grinch''': Oh, yeah. You bet, and ho, ho, ho, and... stuff. ''[The bikers fall down, blocking traffic.]'' Oh, my. Someone has vandalized that vehicle. You see, Max? The city is a dangerous place.
:'''Narrator''': The Grinch hated Christmas. The whole Christmas season.
:'''Who Officer''': Top of the day.
:'''Grinch''': Flatfoot.
:'''Narrator''': Now, please, don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
:'''Grinch''': ''[gives two Who girls a bandsaw]'' Hey, kids. Here's a present for ya. Be sure to run real fast with it now. All right, come on. Double time. Let's go! Move, move, move, move, move!
:'''Narrator''': It could be that his head wasn't screwed on just right. Or it could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. But I think that the most likely reason of all...
:'''Who''': Merry Christmas!
:'''Grinch''': Is it?
:'''Narrator''': ...May have been that his heart was 2 sizes too small.
:'''Crazy Mose''': Hey, stranger! I won't let you go until you buy a chapeau! ''[The Grinch lifts his mask, deeply belches, blows odor on him, making him fall. The Grinch pulls his mask back on and laughs sneakily.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Drew Lou Who''': '''DAD?! ''DAD!'''''
:''[Drew and the other teen Whos are covered in snow]''
:'''Lou Lou Who''': What happened to you?
:'''Stu Lou Who''': It was &lt;big&gt;'''''THE GRINCH!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[A record scratch sound effect is heard, blocking traffic again.]''
:'''Female People''': Grinch?!
:'''Grinch''': What do you want? I mean– ''[mocks female voice]'' Grinch?! Oh, no!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cindy Lou Who''': But, Dad, I just don't understand something. Why won't anyone talk about the Grinch?
:'''Lou Lou Who''': ''[puts stuff inside]'' You kids and the Grinch. You see, Cindy, the Grinch is a Who who... well, is actually not a Who. He's... He's more of a…
:'''Cindy''': A what?
:'''Lou''': ''Exactly,'' honey. And he's a What who... doesn't like Christmas. Take a look at his mailbox, sweetie. Not a single Christmas card in or out... ever.
:'''Cindy''': But why?
:'''Lou''': Well…
:'''Post Office Person 1''': Lou, where's my mail?
:'''Post Office Person 2''': Lou, I got the wrong mail here!
:'''Post Office Person 3''': Lou, I got the wrong mail!
:'''Lou''': Uh, I'll be right there. Whoop!
:'''Post Office Person 4''': We got a problem!
:'''Lou''': Alright. Uh, we'll straighten this out.
:'''Grinch''': ''[at the back room of the post office with Max by the sorting machine; laughing with glee]'' It'll take them years to sort this out. This is his and now it's yours, and this is hers and now it's his! ''[laughs schemingly]'' And for the rest of you... ''[turns around by the sorting machine, then starts throwing everyone's mail in the wrong boxes]'' ...Jury duty, Jury duty, Jury duty, blackmail, pink slip, chain letter, eviction notice, Jury duty! ''[throws more mail into the wrong boxes as he emits a light giggle of amusement]'' Gee-e-e-e-e-eee…!
:'''Lou''': Would you mind helping me? Take this to the back room, honey. But, be careful of the sorting machine, right?
:'''Cindy''': Yeah.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Grinch''': ''[as Max sneezes]'' Gesundheit. (Oh, no.)
:''[Max growls; this causes Cindy Lou to see the Grinch and Max, and she screams, and the Grinch screams back; drops down to the ground and snorts.]''
:'''Cindy''': You're the, the, the, the…
:'''Grinch''': ''[imitating Cindy]'' &quot;The, the, the, the…&quot; ''[normal voice; loudly] &lt;big&gt;'''THE GRINCH!'''&lt;/big&gt;''
:'''Cindy''': Aah! ''[falls down a mail shaft]'' Help!
:'''Grinch''': Well...
:'''Cindy''': Help!
:'''Grinch''': ...that worked out nicely.
:'''Cindy''': Help! ''[big stamp stamps fragile on present; muffled]'' Help me! Somebody!
:'''Grinch''': ''[to Max]'' Max, let's go. Our work here is finished. ''[chomps]'' Sheesh!
:'''Cindy''': Help me! Please! Help!
:'''Grinch''': ''[sees Max biting his own cloak]'' That is not a chew toy! Stop it, Max! Get that out of your mouth! You have no idea where it's been!
:''[Cindy screams, and a whistle blows]''
:'''Cindy''': Help!
:'''Grinch''': ''[scowls; annoyed]'' Ohhh... Bleeding hearts of the world, '''''UNITE!'''''
:'''Cindy''': Help! Help!
:'''Grinch''': ''[saves Cindy]'' There. ''[angrily takes back his goofy mask]'' Give me that! '''DON'T YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TAKE THINGS THAT DON'T BELONG TO YOU?! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, YOU SOME KIND OF WILD ANIMAL?! ''HUH?!'''''
:'''Cindy''': ''[shaking her head]'' Uh-uh.
:'''Grinch''': ''[to Max]'' Let's go. ''[heads to the exit]''
:'''Cindy''': Thanks for saving me.
:'''Grinch''': ''[screeches to a stop, fingers scrape against glass, turns around angrily]'' Saving you? Is that what you think I was doing?
:'''Cindy''': ''[nods]'' Uh-huh.
:'''Grinch''': ''[wags finger]'' Wrong-o. ''[grabs wrapping paper]'' I merely noticed that you were improperly packaged, my dear! ''[begins wrapping Cindy Lou wildly in wrapping paper] '''DRAT!''''' Hold still! ''[stops wrapping, to Max]'' Max, pick out a bow! ''[resumes wrapping Cindy Lou in wrapping paper, stops again]'' Can I use your finger for a second?
:'''Cindy''': Hello? Hello!
:'''Grinch''': ''[puts on his mask]'' Ow.
:'''Lou''': ''[enters back room]'' Cindy?
:'''Cindy''': Dad. ''[Lou sees her covered in gift wrapping that the Grinch wrapped her up with earlier]'' Daddy! Daddy!
:'''Lou''': What the hey? Honey? Cindy?
:'''Cindy''': ''[removes gift wrapping]'' Dad, it was amazing!
:'''Lou''': You've been practicing your Christmas wrapping. Honey, I'm so proud of you.
:'''Cindy''': Uh, oh. Well--
:'''Lou''': Now that's holiday!
:'''Narrator''': Sweet little Cindy didn't know what to do. In her head bum-tumbled a conflict or two; &quot;If the Grinch was so bad, then why did he save me? Maybe he wasn't so bad.&quot;
:'''Lou''': Come on, let's go home.
:'''Narrator''': &quot;Maybe. Just maybe.&quot;
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Grinch''': ''[catapults the red &quot;Hazardous Waste&quot; bag at the picture of Augustus] '''Oooh!''''' Sweet. ''[singing] ♪ Be it ever so...heinous, there's no place like home. ♪''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Grinch''': ''[sees the tiny red heart beating on his X-ray]'' Yes! Down a size and ½! ''[breaks the fourth wall; to the audience watching]'' And this time, I'll keep it off. ''[frowns and walks out of frame; to Max, shaking hand quickly]'' Get the stick, Max! Get the stick! ''[throws his hand towards Max's direction; Max barks and runs in that direction, while the Grinch chortles to himself]'' There's no stick. I'm smarter. ''[takes a running leap onto his bed]'' Any calls? ''[turns his phone on]''
:'''Phone''': You have no messages.
:'''Grinch''': Odd. Better check the outgoing. ''[presses another button]''
:'''Phone Message (Grinch's voice)''': If you utter so much as one syllable, &lt;big&gt;'''I'LL ''HUNT YOU DOWN'' AND [[Scream (1996 film)|''GUT YOU LIKE A FISH!'']]'''&lt;/big&gt; If you'd like to fax me, press the star key. ''[phone beeps]''
:'''Grinch''': Hmm. Hmm? Oh, well. (That's okay.) ''[turns his machine off; jumps off his bed and slides to his chair as he screams and laughs gleefully]'' That's more like it. ''[he pulls off his socks while singing nonsensically; the socks crawl away, and the Grinch bites off a piece of a glass bottle; puts his finger into his mouth, gags and continues to crunch the glass bottle]'' Mmm. Excellent year. ''[puts down glass bottle]'' I'll tell ya, Max. I don't know why I ever leave this place. I've got all the company I need... right here. Hello! ''[echoes]'' How are you? ''[echoes]'' I asked you first! ''[echoes; sarcastically]'' Oh, that's ''really'' mature, saying ''exactly'' what I say! ''[echoes]''
:'''Grinch''': ''[thinks for a second]'' I'm an idiot!
:'''Echo''': '''''YOU'RE AN IDIOT!'''''
:'''Grinch''': ''[gruffly whispering]'' {{small|All right, ''fine!'' I'm not talking to you anymore. In fact, I'm going to ''whisper,'' so that by the time my voice reverberates off the walls and it gets back to ''me'', ''I'' won't be able to hear it.}} ''[covers his ears]''
:'''Echo''': ''[after a brief silence]'' ''&lt;big&gt;'''YOU'RE AN IDIOT!'''&lt;/big&gt;''
:'''Grinch''': ''[breaks and eats the glass bottle]'' Am I eating because I'm bored?
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Narrator''': So whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes, he stood outside his cave( on Christmas Eve)... ''hating'' the Whos.
:'''Grinch''': ''[brings out a Whoville phone book]'' Alphabetically. ''[furiously raises finger, angrily hits against name in book]'' Aadvarkian Abakenezer-Who, I... ''[bellows down] &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''HATE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; [stops]'' Aaron B. Benson Who, I hate ''you.'' ''[pointing at various names]'' Hate, hate, hate. Hate, hate, hate. ''Double'' hate. ''[pause, widens eyes; venomously] '''LOATHE ENTIRELY!!''' [hears music playing in Whoville]'' Nutcrackers! ''[angrily closes the book]'' It's their Whobi''lation!''
:'''Narrator''': ...He snarled with a sneer.
:'''Grinch''': ''[shocked gasp]'' Tomorrow is Christmas.&lt;br /&gt;It's ''practically'' here.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''MAX, FETCH ME MY SEDATIVE!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; [inside his cave; with a hammer]'' Now, to take care of those pesky memories. ''[hits himself with the hammer and falls over, moaning]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Grinch''': ''[trying to drown out the Whos' singing, turns on a mechanical monkey that plays cymbals]'' Play, monkey! Play! Play, play, play! ''[rides a jackhammer while vocalizing; he soon wipes out] '''OWWIEE!!'''''
:'''Cindy''': ''[knocks on the door]'' Mr. Grinch? ''[knocks on the door again]'' Mr. Grinch! ''[opens Max's doggie door]'' Hello? ''[crawls into the Grinch's cave; she finds him standing with his head in the path of the monkey's cymbals, yelling gibberish each time they hit his head. Taps his shoulder]'' Excuse me?
:'''Grinch''': Hmm? ''[sticks his head out and grabs the monkey's cymbals; the monkey short-circuits and it's motor slowly powers down; turns slowly to Cindy with a furious look as the monkey's motor stops]'' Hello... little girl. ''[bellows]'' '''HOW DARE YOU ENTER THE GRINCH'S LAIR?! THE IMPUDENCE! THE AUDACITY! THE UNMITIGATED GALL!''' You've called down the thunder. Now, get ready... '''FOR THE &lt;big&gt;BOOOOOOM!&lt;/big&gt;''' Gaze into the face... of fear. &lt;big&gt;'''BOOGA-BOOGA!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Cindy''': ''[calmly, and not scared]'' Mr. Grinch, my name is Cindy Lou Who.
:'''Grinch''': ''[thinking he's scaring Cindy]'' You see? Even now the terror is welling up inside you!
:'''Cindy''': I'm not scared.
:'''Grinch''': Denial is to be expected in the face of pure evil. ''[makes psychotic growling noises]''
:'''Cindy''': I don't think so!
:'''Grinch''': ''Doubt?!'' Another unmistakable sign of the heebie-jeebies! Now, you're ''doomed. [jumps out of frame, then jumps back in wearing a white t-shirt and making animalistic noises, ripping the shirt apart] '''RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, BEFORE I KILL AGAIN!''' [howls]'' I'm a psycho. ''[growls, puts shirt in his mouth, spits it out, jumps around Cindy Lou frantically]'' Danger, danger! ''[repeatedly growls, but suddenly stops as he is out of breath]''
:'''Cindy''': Um... maybe you need a time-out. ''[giggles after the Grinch looks dumbfounded]''
:'''Grinch''': ''[aside, to the camera; breaking the fourth wall again]'' Kids today. So desensitized by movies and television. (Anyway...) ''[to Cindy; bellows] &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''WHAT DO YOU WANT?!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; [echoes]''
:'''Cindy''': Mr. Grinch, I came to invite you... to be Holiday Cheermeister.
:'''Grinch''': Uh... &quot;Holiday&quot; who-bie what-ie?
:'''Cindy''': Cheermeister.
:'''Grinch''': Huh? &quot;Cheermeister. Celebrate with friends.&quot; ''[laughing raucously] '''AAH!!''''' That's a good one. ''[wheezes]''
:'''Cindy''': ''[following him]'' I know you hate Christmas, but what if it's all just a misunderstanding? 
:'''Grinch''': Don't care.
:'''Cindy''': I mean, I myself am having some Yuletide doubts. ''[Grinch makes snoring noises]'' But maybe if you can reunite with the Whos and be a part of Christmas... 
:'''Grinch''': ''[mimics Cindy in a nasally voice]'' &quot;Maybe if you can reunite with the Whos and be a part of Christmas–&quot; ''[normal voice]'' Grow up! 
:'''Cindy''': ...then maybe it'll be all right for me, too! 
:'''Grinch''': Sorry, your session is over. Please make another appointment with the receptionist on the way out. 
:'''Cindy''': Please, please! You have to accept the award!
:'''Grinch''': ''[gasps; stops in surprise]'' &quot;Award&quot;? ''[rapidly grabs and dips Cindy attentively]'' You never mentioned... an award.
:'''Cindy''': Yeah, with a trophy and everything.
:'''Grinch''': And I what?
:'''Cindy''': You won!
:'''Grinch''': That means there were ''losers.''
:'''Cindy''': I guess. So, if you come–
:'''Grinch''': ''[gleefully]'' A town full of ''losers''! I like it! Was anyone... emotionally shattered? Come on! A minute ago, I couldn't shut you up! Details, details!
:'''Cindy''': Well, the Mayor wasn't happy.
:'''Grinch''': ''[with relish]'' Oh, ''no.''
:'''Cindy''': ''[smiling]'' Martha May will be there.
:'''Grinch''': ''[smiling back]'' Oh, she will?
:'''Cindy''': ''[nodding]'' Mm-hm.
:'''Grinch''': And she'll see me. A winner. ''[Cindy nods again]'' She'll be on me like Fleegle flies on a flat-faced floogle horse! ''[dramatically] '''WELL, I'M SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU, MARTHA BABY, BUT THE G-TRAIN HAS LEFT THE STATION!'''''
:'''Cindy''': So will you come? 
:'''Grinch''': ''[shrugging]'' Oh, alright.
:''[Cindy giggles]''
:'''Grinch''': ''[leading her to the front door, acting happy]'' I don't know if it's that adorable twinkle in your eye, or that nonconformist streak that reminds me of a younger less hairy me, but you've convinced me! Who knows? This Whobilation could change my ''entire'' outlook on life!
:'''Cindy''': Really?
:'''Grinch''': ''[grumpy again]'' No. ''[pulls a rope, opening up the garbage chute beneath her and sending her back to Whoville]''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Grinch''': ''[screams and lands in his chair]'' The nerve of those Whos; Inviting me down there... on ''such'' short notice! Even if I wanted to go, my ''schedule'' wouldn't allow it! ''[opens his schedule]'' '''&quot;4:00;''' wallow in self-pity. '''4:30;''' ''stare'' into the abyss. '''5:00;''' solve world hunger.&quot; Tell ''no one.'' '''&quot;5:30;''' jazzercise. '''6:30;''' dinner with me.&quot; I can't cancel that again. '''&quot;7:00;''' wrestle with myself loathing...&quot; I'm booked! Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9:00, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and ''slip slowly into madness.'' ''[beat]'' But what would I ''wear?'' ''[goes to kitchen, and grab tablecloth, without disturbing items, but returns and knocks off the stuff from the table; poses in the mirror as Max barks]'' It's not a dress, it's a kilt! ''[rips off tablecloth]'' Sicko!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Grinch''': ''[rummaging through clothes]'' Stupid! Ugly! Out of date! This is ridiculous! If I can't find something nice to wear, I'm not ''going! [hears a yodeler and mugs him for his lederhosen]'' Ohh. Ahh. Mmm... That's it, I'm not going.
:''[Back in Whoville]''
:'''Augustus May Who''': Well, it's time for our Holiday Cheermeister of the Year Award! ''[chuckles; everyone cheers]'' Congratulations, Mr. Grinch! ''[turns out the Grinch is not in the Whobilation]'' He isn't here. ''What,'' he didn't ''show?'' Who could've predicted this?
:'''Grinch''': ''[after standing grumpily with his arms crossed]'' Alright. I'll swing by for a minute, allow them to envy me, grab a handful of popcorn shrimp and blow outta here. ''[heads for the door, then stops abruptly and returns nervously]'' But what if it's a cruel prank, what if it's a cash bar? How dare they? ''[scowls, then calms down]'' Alright, I'll go… but I'll be fashionably late. No, yes, no, yes, no. Yes! ''[groans in frustration; sharp inhale]'' Definitely not. ''[heading for the door with his hand behind his back]'' Alright, I've made my decision! I'm going, and that's that! ''[shows his crossed fingers on his hand]'' Ah, had my fingers crossed. ''[Max pulls the rope, sending the Grinch falling through the garbage chute towards Whoville]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''Maybe I should flip a coin!'''''&lt;/big&gt; ''[screams as the picture spins rapidly from him and stops to Cindy-Lou Who]''
:'''Augustus May Who''': Well, I, I guess the award goes to the, the runner-up.
:'''Whobriss''': That's right. A man for whom Christmas comes, not once a year, but every minute of every day. A handsome, noble man. A man who's had his tonsils removed twice.
:'''Augustus May Who''': ''[chuckles]'' That's an interesting story. You see, what happened was--
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Grinch''': ''[to Whos]'' Boo. ''[the Who-crowd screams in horror]'' Hmm. Hot crowd, hot crowd. I believe I'm here to... ''[licks chops]'' ...accept an award of some kind. And... the child... mentioned a check?
:'''Cindy''': No, I didn't.
:'''Grinch''': Alright, then. Give me the award. &lt;big&gt;'''''COME ON, WHILE I'M YOUNG!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Augustus''': Don't you worry, Mr. Holiday Cheermeister, you'll get your award. But first, a little family reunion. They nursed you, they clothed you. Here they are, your old biddies!
:'''Grinch''': ''[shocked]'' Are you two still ''living?''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Clock Operator''': Only 4 hours till Christmas!
:'''Narrator''': Yes, the Grinch knew.&lt;br /&gt;Tomorrow all the Who girls and boys would wake bright and early and rush for their toys.
:'''Grinch:''' And then, all the noise!&lt;br /&gt;All the noise, noise, noise, &lt;big&gt;'''NOISE!'''!&lt;/big&gt;&lt;br /&gt;They'll bang on tong-tinglers.&lt;br /&gt;They'll blow their ﬂoo-ﬂounders.&lt;br /&gt;They'll crash on jang-jinglers and bounce on boing-bounders!
:'''Narrator''': Then Whos young and old would sit down to a feast.&lt;br /&gt;And they'll feast, and they'll feast.
:'''Grinch''': And they'll feast, feast, feast, feast!&lt;br /&gt;They'll eat their Who ''pudding'', and rare Who roast '''''BEAST...''''' which is something I just cannot ''stand'' in the least.&lt;br /&gt;Oh, no. I'm speaking in rhyme! Aah! ''[furiously drops to his knees] &lt;big&gt;'''BLAST YOU, WHOS!'''&lt;/big&gt; [sobs angrily]''
:'''Narrator''': And the more the Grinch thought of what Christmas would bring, the more the Grinch thought...
:'''Grinch:''' I must stop this whole thing.&lt;br /&gt;Why, for ''year'' after ''year'', I've put up with it now!&lt;br /&gt;I must stop this Christmas from coming, but how? ''[gasps]'' I mean, &quot;In what way?&quot;. ''[gags, disgusted; as he goes inside his cave, he sees Max dancing right behind the doghouse; to Max, snickering]'' Are you having a holly... jolly... Christmas? ''[record needle scratches] &lt;big&gt;'''WRONG-O!'''&lt;/big&gt; [angrily throws Max and his doghouse out. He furiously peers over the edge at the dog-shaped hole in the snow as Max whimpers]'' Hmph! ''[furiously jumps to the hole, and angrily picks up Max, who is covered in snow]'' If you're not going to help me, then you might as well… ''[sees snow covering Max's face, looking like Santa Claus' white beard]''
:'''Narrator:''' Then he got an idea; an awful idea. The Grinch got a wonderful... ''awful'' idea.
:'''Grinch''': I know... ''just'' what to do. ''[smiles sneakily and points his pointer finger up with a &quot;Ding!&quot; sound effect; the scene cuts to the Grinch cutting a coat-shaped hole in the red fabric, and sewing the fabric]''
:'''Narrator''': The Grinch laughed in his throat...
:'''Grinch''': Ha!
:'''Narrator''': ...And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
:''[loud crunch]''
:'''Grinch:''' ''[alarmed]'' Oh-ho-ho! ''[sees his fingers sewn to the red fabric later]''
:'''Narrator:''' And he chuckled and clucked... ''[the Grinch faints in shock and pain]'' ...at this great Grinchy trick.
:'''Grinch''': ''[admires himself in the mirror, dressed in the finished outfit]'' With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like St. Nick! Ho, ho, ho! ''[singing] ♪ You're a mean one… Mr. Grinch! ♪''&lt;br /&gt;''♪ You really are a heel. ♪''
:'''Jim Carrey:''' ''♪ You're as cuddly as a cactus, and as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch! ♪''&lt;br /&gt;You're a bad banana with a... ''♪ greasy black peel! ♪'' ''[scene cuts to the Grinch riding ziplines]'' ''♪ Just face the music, you're a monster, Mr. Grinch. ♪''&lt;br /&gt;Yes, you are!
:'''Grinch''': ''[singing] ♪ Your heart's an empty '''hoooooooole! ♪'''''
:'''Jim''': ''♪ Your brain is full of spiders, and you got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch. ♪''&lt;br /&gt;Mmm…&lt;br /&gt;''♪ I wouldn't touch you with a… 39½ foot pooooooooole! ♪''
:''[Max brings the Grinch a &quot;5/8&quot; spanner]''
:'''Grinch''': [[Back to the Future Part II|I asked for ¾, not ⅝.]] ''Stay'' focused! ''[The Grinch brings the 5/8 spanner back to Max.]''
:'''Jim''': You know if you asked every Who's Who of Whoville…&lt;br /&gt;''♪ No one would deny it. ♪ [holds note as Max presses the button, making the Grinch launch faster, until it hits the &quot;HIT HERE&quot; sign, making Jim Carrey cough]''
:'''Grinch''': Ow. ''[lifts his head up after a dummy crash test]'' Airbag's a little slow. ''[airbags come out]'' But that's what these tests are for! ''[Max barks, and the Grinch lets his head drop back down] ♪ You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch. You have termites in your smile. ♪''
:'''Jim''': ''♪ You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch. ♪''
:'''Grinch''': Given the choice between you, I'd take the... ''♪ seasick crocodile! ♪ [holds note while spinning around but yells and holds his mouth as he grunts.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Santa Claus''': ''[heartly]'' Ho-ho-ho!
:'''Grinch''': ''Fat-boy'' should be finishing up ''anytime'' now. Talk about a recluse. He only comes out once a ''year'', and ''he'' never catches any ''flak'' for it! Probably lives up there to avoid the taxes.
:'''Santa''': ''[flying with his reindeer, led by Rudolph]'' Merry Christmas!
:'''Grinch''': Oopsie. Forgot about the reindeer.
:'''Narrator''': Did ''that'' stop the old Grinch? ''No.''&lt;br /&gt;The Grinch simply said...
:'''Grinch''': If I can't ''find'' a reindeer, I'll ''make'' one instead. ''[reaches for Max, who whimpers and runs away]'' ''Oh, Maaaaaa-'''AAAAAAX!!'''''
:'''Narrator''': So, he called his dog Max.&lt;br /&gt;Then he took some red thread.&lt;br /&gt;And tied a big horn... on top of his head.
:''[The Grinch dresses Max with reindeer antlers and a red nose as Rudolph. He claps his hands, makes a gleeful noise, takes off his Santa hat, and puts on a director's cap, mimicking Ron Howard, the director.]''
:'''Grinch''': ''[to Max as Rudolph]'' Alright, you're a reindeer. [[Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (TV special)|Here's your motivation; Your name is Rudolph, you're a freak with the red nose, and ''nobody'' likes you. ''Then'' one day, Santa picks you, and you ''save'' Christmas.]] ''[Max stares at him blankly]'' No, forget that part. We'll improvise, just keep it kind of loosy-goosy. You ''hate'' Christmas, you're gonna ''steal'' it! Saving Christmas was a ''lousy'' ending. ''Way'' too commercial. ''[sits down on director's chair and holds up megaphone; amplified]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''ACTION!'''''&lt;/big&gt; ''[Max pops off the red nose; jumps out of seat, ecstatic]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''BRILLIANT!!'''''&lt;/big&gt; ''You'' reject your own nose because it represents the glitter of Commercialism! ''Why'' didn't ''I'' think of it?! Cut, print, check the gate, moving on.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Grinch''': ''[arrives on the roof with Max]'' Come on, Max. It's our ''first'' stop.
:'''Narrator''': The old Grinchy Claus hissed, and he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist. ''[the Grinch prepares to go down the chimney with rope on his feet]''&lt;br /&gt;He'd slide down the chimney, a rather tight pinch.&lt;br /&gt;But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.
:'''Grinch''': ''[imitating sports announcer]'' He's planning a double-twisting interrupted by forward-flying 2½ with a combo tuck and pike. High degree of difficulty. ''[jumps high in the air as bungee jumping while vocalizing]'' Whoo! ''[leans closer to the chimney] '''♪ LAA-LAAA-LAAAAAAA!! ♪''' [lands in the chimney upside down, and gets stuck since he gained a couple of pounds from the Whobilation]''
:'''Narrator''': He got stuck only once... for a moment or two.
:'''Grinch''': Blasted water weight. Goes right to my hips. ''[struggles his arms to free himself as he slides down and lands and hits his head by the fireplace]'' Ow! Gee! ''[looks at the view of the living room]''
:'''Narrator''': Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue...
:'''Grinch''': ''[to the narrator; breaking the 4th wall again]'' Shh! A little more ''stealth,'' please.
:'''Narrator''': ''[quietly]'' {{small|...where the little Who stockings all hung in a row.}}
:'''Grinch''': These stockings...
:'''Narrator''': ''[normal voice]'' He grinned.
:'''Grinch''': ...Are the first things to go. ''[picks out a jar of moths]'' Okay, fellas. Chow time. ''[frees the moths, sticks his head back up just as the moths eat the stockings. Then, the Grinch lowers a hose, and sucks everything into his bag, as he chortles]''
:'''Narrator''': Then he slunk to the icebox. ''[The Grinch hugs the fridge into place.]''
:'''Grinch''': Slunk… ''[opens up the fridge]'' Eee.
:'''Narrator''': He ''eyed'' the Whos' feast.&lt;br /&gt;He took the Who-Pudding. ''[The Grinch throws a plate of Who pudding away.]''&lt;br /&gt;He took... the Roast Beast.
:'''Grinch''': ''[imitating football quarterback] &lt;big&gt;'''HIKE!'''&lt;/big&gt; [tosses the Roast Beast in a football hike position]''
:'''Narrator''': ''[as the Grinch messes everything up the fridge]'' He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.&lt;br /&gt;Why, that Grinch, he even took their last can of Who-Hash. ''[The Grinch opens up the cupboard to reveal a last can of Who-Hash inside in it just as Cindy opens her bedroom door.]''&lt;br /&gt;Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
:'''Grinch''': And now...
:'''Narrator''': Grinned the Grinch.
:'''Grinch''': ''[snatches the tree]'' ...I'll stuff up the tree.
:'''Narrator''': And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove!&lt;br /&gt;When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
:'''Cindy''': Excuse me.
:'''Grinch''': Eee! ''[stops and hides behind the tree]''
:'''Narrator''': The Grinch had been caught by this tiny Who daughter&lt;br /&gt;who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
:'''Cindy''': Santa Claus, what are you doing with our tree?
:'''Narrator''': But you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick...&lt;br /&gt;''[Grinch coughs]''&lt;br /&gt;...he thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick.
:'''Grinch''': ''[imitating Santa]'' ''Why-hy-hyy,'' my sweet little ''tot!''
:'''Narrator''': The fake Santa Claus lied.
:'''Grinch''': There's a light on this tree that won't... ''light'' on one side, so I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear. ''[laughs and Cindy giggles]''&lt;br /&gt;I'll fix it up there… and I'll bring it... ''back'' here.
:'''Cindy''': Santa, what's Christmas really about?
:'''Grinch''': ''[pops out through the tree, startling Cindy]'' ''Vengeance!'' Er, I mean... presents... I suppose.
:'''Cindy''': Hmm. I was afraid of that.
:'''Narrator''': And his fib fooled the child.&lt;br /&gt;Then he patted her head, and he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.
:'''Cindy''': Santa?
:'''Grinch''': ''[sharply]'' What?!
:'''Cindy''': Don't forget the Grinch. I know he's mean and hairy and smelly. His hands might be cold and clammy… but I think he's actually kinda... sweet.
:'''Grinch''': ''&quot;Sweet&quot;?!'' You think he's sweet?
:'''Cindy''': Merry Christmas, Santa.
:''[Grinch flinches, covers his ears and groans, but Cindy Lou goes back to bed.]''
:'''Narrator''': And when Cindy Lou went up with her cup...
:'''Grinch''': Nice kid. ''Bad'' judge of character. (Now, back to work.)
:'''Narrator''': ...he went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up! ''[the Grinch stuffs the tree up the Chimney, grabs the Christmas lights and goes up the chimney]'' And the last thing he took was the log for their fire.&lt;br /&gt;On their walls, he left nothing but some hooks and some wire.&lt;br /&gt;And the one speck of food that he'd left in the house&lt;br /&gt;was a crumb, that was even too small for a mouse.&lt;br /&gt;Then he slithered and slunk with a smile most unpleasant,&lt;br /&gt;around each Who home, and he took every present.
:'''Grinch''': ''[uses a saw to cut a hole with a Christmas tree on top of it, and it falls down as the he emerges from the hole]'' Clearance sale. Everything ''must'' go. ''[sucks up Christmas stuff even a cat on a chair; sees cat hair come out of switch; removes hose.]'' What... now? ''[shocked]'' Huh? ''[the cat attacks his face]''
:''[The scene cuts to the Grinch snatching the ring in a box away from Martha, then forms an oval on the window with hands pressed by the glass while sucking on it. He opens the bedroom door to the Mayor of Whoville, and chortles in amusement, but quickly covers his mouth as Augustus talks in his sleep]''
:'''Augustus''': Martha, have you ever kissed a man who lost his tonsils twice?
:'''Grinch''': ''[imitating Martha May Whovier]'' No, silly. ''[picks up Max]'' But it's an experience that I've always longed for. Kiss me, you fool! ''[This makes Max's grow big eyes, making the Mayor holding up bright teeth as the Grinch puts a hook on the bottom of the bed.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Grinch''': ''[noticing the sleigh had run out of gas because the bag is full; Max barks]'' Hmm. What are ''you'' laughing at... Rudolph? ''[later, up on Mt. Crumpit]'' It's all you, Maxie!
:'''Narrator''': 3,000 feet up.&lt;br /&gt;Up the side of Mt. Crumpit.&lt;br /&gt;He rode with his load to the tip-top to dump it.
:'''Grinch''': Okay, whoa! '''''WHOOOAA!!''' [chortles and gets off the sleigh]'' We... '''''&lt;big&gt;DID IIITTTTTTTTT!!!&lt;/big&gt;''' [chanting]'' We did it, we did it! That wasn't so bad, ''was'' it, Max? ''[Max now whimpers once again]'' They'll be waking up now. ''[spots at the bottom of the edge view of Whoville]'' And I know ''just'' what they'll do.&lt;br /&gt;(Their mouths will hang open a minute or 2.)&lt;br /&gt;A(nd then a)ll those Whos down in Whoville, will all cry... ''[The Whos were now singing ''&quot;Boo Hoo&quot;'' sober about stolen Christmas]''
:'''Officer Houlihan''': What an embarrassment! I've been robbed! ''[heads inside the police car, making the Mayor's bed come loose]''
:'''Mayor May Who''': Whoa! Whoa! ''[the bed stops]''
:'''Office Houlihan''': ''[gasps]'' Mayor May Who? Oh, dearest me.
:'''Mayor May Who''': Well... I wonder who could have done this. ''[One of the Whos help the Mayor put a robe on. He puts the robe on]'' I'll tell you people one thing: Invite the Grinch, destroy Christmas. ''[starts angrily pounding the bed in frustration] '''INVITE THE GRINCH, DESTROY CHRISTMAS!''''' But did anyone listen to me?
:'''Whobris''': I did.
:'''Mayor May Who''': (Whobris may have listened to me, but did anyone ''else'' listen?) No. You (didn't. Instead, you) chose to listen... ''[laughs sarcastically]'' ...to a little not-to-be-taken-seriously... ''[angrily]'' '''''GIRL,''''' who hasn't even grown into her nose yet. ''[angrily looks at Cindy]'' Cindy, I hope you're very proud of what you've done.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Grinch''': Now, for the final note in my symphony of downright nasty not-niceness, the crescendo of my odious opus! ''[starts pushing the sled]'' Oh, the wailing and the gnashing of teeth. The bellowing of the bitterly bummed out! It'll be like music to my ears! ''[strains harder, and stops to hear faint singing]''
:'''Narrator''': Then the Grinch heard a sound rising over the snow.&lt;br /&gt;It started in low.&lt;br /&gt;Then it started to grow.
:'''Grinch''': Huh? Wha?
:'''Narrator''': But the sound wasn't ''sad.''&lt;br /&gt;Why, this sounded ''merry'', but it ''was'' merry. ''Very.''&lt;br /&gt;Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small&lt;br /&gt;was singing without any presents at all.&lt;br /&gt;He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming. It came.
:'''Grinch''': Somehow or other, it ''came'' just the ''same!''
:'''Cindy''': ''[looking up at the Grinch's sled]'' Mr. Grinch!
:'''Narrator''': And the Grinch, with his Grinch feet ice-cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling.
:'''Grinch''': How could it be so?&lt;br /&gt;It came without ribbons.&lt;br /&gt;It came without tags.&lt;br /&gt;It came without ''packages, boxes or bags!''
:'''Narrator''': And he puzzled and puzzled, 'till his puzzler was sore.&lt;br /&gt;Then the Grinch... ''thought'' of something... he hadn't before.
:'''Grinch''': Maybe... Christmas...
:'''Narrator''': He thought.
:'''Grinch''': ...doesn't...''come'' from a store.&lt;br /&gt;Maybe Christmas...perhaps... ''[warmly]'' ...means a little bit more. ''[gets a sudden thump in his chest]'' Max, help me! I'm... ''feeling! [wheezes, and sees his small heart growing]''
:'''Narrator''': And what happened then?&lt;br /&gt;Well, in Whoville they say&lt;br /&gt;That the Grinch's small heart... grew 3 sizes... that day.
:'''Grinch''': ''[puts his hand by his body, sits up, begins crying, and bawls]'' What's happening to me? ''[stops crying as he notices the sun rising]'' I'm all... toasty inside. ''[feels a tear]'' And I'm leaking. Oh, Max. I ''love'' ya!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Grinch''': ''[to Augustus May Who]'' No hard feelings. ''[Augustus gives the Grinch his hand to shake, but the Grinch pulls the Mayor's hand, and roars with laughter; politely]'' Cheer up, dude. It's Christmas.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[last lines]''
:'''Narrator:''' So, he brought back the toys, and the food for the feast.&lt;br /&gt;And he, he himself, the Grinch ''carved'' the Roast Beast.
:'''Grinch''': Yeah. ''[everyone cheers]'' There's nothing like the Holidays. Who wants the gizzard?!
:'''Who''': I do.
:'''Grinch''': Too late! That'll be mine.

== Cast ==
* [[Jim Carrey]] as [[Grinch|The Grinch]]
** Josh Ryan Evans (8 years old)

* [[w:Taylor Momsen|Taylor Momsen]] as Cindy Lou Who

* [[w:Jeffrey Tambor|Jeffrey Tambor]] as Mayor Augustus May Who
** Ben Bookbinder (8 years old)

* [[w:Christine Baranski|Christine Baranski]] as Martha May Whovier
** Landry Allbright (8 years old)

* [[w:Bill Irwin|Bill Irwin]] as Lou Lou Who

* [[Molly Shannon]] as Betty Lou Who

* [[Frank Welker]] (voice) and Kelley as Max

* [[w:Clint Howard|Clint Howard]] as Whobris
** Reid Kirchenbauer (8 years old)

* [[w:Mindy Sterling|Mindy Sterling]] as Clarnella Who

* Rachel Winfree as Rose Who

* [[w:Jeremy Howard (actor)|Jeremy Howard]] as Drew Lou

* [[w:T. J. Thyne|T.J. Thyne]] as Stu Lou Who

* [[w:Jim Meskimen|Jim Meskimen]] as Officer Wholihan

* Lacey Kohl as Christina Whoterberry

* Nadja Pionilla as Junie

* [[w:Mary Stein|Mary Stein]] as Miss Rue Who

* [[Bryce Dallas Howard|Bryce Howard]] as Surprised Who

* [[Anthony Hopkins]] as the Narrator

== See Also ==
* ''[[How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (TV special)|How the Grinch Stole Christmas!]]'' (1966 cartoon TV movie)
* ''[[The Cat in the Hat (film)|The Cat in the Hat (film)]]''
* ''[[Horton Hears a Who! (film)|Horton Hears a Who!]]''
* ''[[The Lorax (film)|The Lorax]]''
* ''[[The Grinch (film)|The Grinch]]'' (2018 computer-animated movie)

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia|How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000 film)|How the Grinch Stole Christmas (film)}}
* {{IMDb title|0170016}}

[[Category:2000 films]] 
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Comedy films]]
[[Category:Fantasy films]]
[[Category:Christmas comedy films]]
[[Category:Films based on children's books]]
[[Category:Films based on works by Dr. Seuss]]
[[Category:Musical films]]
[[Category:Films directed by Ron Howard]]
[[Category:Films set in New York City]]</text>
      <sha1>gj8vjgclzjcyrqey19aejdl8buwwg7u</sha1>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Garry Kasparov</title>
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      <comment>/* Interview with Bill Kristol (2016) */</comment>
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      <text bytes="31604" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Kasparow garri 20100521 berlin 5.jpg|thumb|My nature is that I have to excite myself with a big challenge.]]
[[File:Poker Dice d6.JPG|thumb|The game that defines dictators much better is poker because it’s about bluffs. It doesn’t matter whether you have a strong hand or weak hand. You can have a weak hand, but if you’re comfortable bluffing, raising stakes, and if you can read your opponent.]]
[[File:SaddamStatue.jpg|thumb|I have to say as somebody who was born and raised in a Communist country, I cannot criticize any action that led to the destruction of dictatorship.]]
[[File:Thecristisrizenoldrussiancivilwarposter.jpg|thumb|[T]he failure of capitalism is still much better than the success of socialism.]]
[[File:Chernihiv Oblast, 28.02.2022 (4) - ruins.jpg|thumb|[[Putin]]'s [[w:2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine|war on Ukraine]] has entered its next phase, one of [[destruction]] and [[slaughter]] of civilians. It is also a part of Putin's World War, a [[war]] on the [[civilized]] [[world]] of [[international law]], [[democracy]], and any threat to his [[power]], which he declared long ago.]]
'''[[w:Garry Kasparov|Garry Kimovich Kasparov]]''' (born [[13 April]] [[1963]]) is a [[w:chess grandmaster|chess grandmaster]] and one of the strongest chess players in history.

==Quotes==
===1990s===
*The public must come to see that chess is a violent sport. Chess is mental torture.
**As quoted in [[Martin Amis]]'s review of &quot;Kasparov-Short&quot; by Raymond Keene, ''Independent on Sunday'', November 1995.

===2000s===
* In conclusion, if you want to unravel the multitude of secrets of chess then don't begrudge the time.
** ''Learn Chess with Gary Kasparov'' (2003)

* My nature is that I have to excite myself with a big challenge.
** [http://www.guardian.co.uk/russia/article/0,2763,1436951,00.html Guardian interview, Stephen Moss Monday March 14, 2005]

* Every country has its own mafia. In Russia, the mafia has its own country.

====''How Life Imitates Chess'' (2007)====
* Having spent a lifetime analyzing the game of chess and comparing the capacity of computers to the capacity of the human brain, I've often wondered, where does our success come from? The answer is '''[[w:synthesis|synthesis]]''', the ability to combine creativity and calculation, art and science, into a whole that is much greater than the sum of its parts. Chess is a unique cognitive nexus, a place where art and science come together in the human mind, and are then refined and improved by experience. 
** Opening Gambit, Why Chess?, p. 4

* It's not enough to be talented. It's not enough to work hard and to study late into the night. You must also become intimately aware of the methods you use to reach your decisions.
** Part I, Chapter 1, The Lesson, p. 14

* With each success the ability to change is reduced. My longtime friend and coach Grandmaster [[w:Yuri Dokhoian|Yuri Dokhoian]], aptly compared it to being dipped in[[w: bronze| bronze]]. Each victory added another coat.
** Part I, Chapter 2, Strategy, p. 34

* This obligation to move can be a burden to a player without [[w:strategic vision|strategic vision]].
** Part I, Chapter 3, Strategy And Tactics At Work, p. 36

* You must also have a sense of when to stop.
** Part I, Chapter 4, Calculation, p. 51

* For inspiration I look to those great players who consistently found original ways to shock their opponents. None did this better than the eighth world champion, '''[[w:Mikhail Tal|Mikhail Tal]]'''. The &quot;Magician of Riga&quot; rose to become champion in 1960 at age twenty-three and became famous for his aggressive, volatile play.  
** Part I, Chapter 5, Talent, p. 60-61

* Everyone, at any age, has talents that aren't fully developed-even those who reach the top of their profession.  
** Part I, Chapter 6, Preparation, p. 69 

* We think about time as something not to waste, not as something to invest.
** Part II, Chapter 7, MTQ: Material, Time, Quality, p. 93

* In [[w:chess|chess]], [[w:bigamy|bigamy]] is acceptable but [[w:monarchy|monarchy]] is absolute. 
** Part II, Chapter 8, Exchanges And Imbalances, p. 102

* I like to say that the attacker always has the advantage.
** Part II, Chapter 10, The Attacker's Advantage, p. 122

* '''If you're already in a fight, you want the first blow to be the last and you had better be the one to throw it.'''  
**Part II, Chapter 10, The Attacker's Advantage, p. 130

* Question the status quo at all times, especially when things are going well. 
** Part III, Chapter 11, Question Success, p. 135

* Solving new problems is what keeps us moving forward as individuals and as a society, so don't back down.
** Part III, Chapter 13, Man Vs. Machine, p. 170

* [[w:Caïssa|Caissa]], the goddess of chess, had punished me for my conservative play, for betraying my nature. 
** Part III, Chapter 15, Crisis Point, p. 188

* '''Millions like me in [[Russia]] want a [[w:Free press|free press]], the [[w:Rule of law|rule of law]], [[w:Social justice|social justice]], and [[w:Free and fair elections|free and fair elections]]. My new job is to fight for those people and to fight for these [[w:fundamental rights|fundamental rights]].'''
** Part III, Endgame, p. 195

* We have to always look ahead enough moves to be well prepared, even for victory! 
** Part III, Epilogue, p. 204

===2010s===
*Allow dissent &amp; free media for 6 months in Russia and see what happens. Putin would never risk it because he’s terrified of his own people and the truth, like every dictator.
**As quoted in [https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/03/is-putin-popular-c/ &quot;Is Putin Popular?&quot;] (2018), by Jay Nordlinger, ''National Review''

*The leaders of the free world keep lowering their standards and authoritarians keep taking more territory. Eventually people wake up and ask why Putin murders in the UK or hacks in the US. Why wouldn’t he? You didn’t stop him before.
**As quoted in [https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/03/is-putin-popular-c/ &quot;Is Putin Popular?&quot;] (2018), by Jay Nordlinger, ''National Review''

*People ask about dictators, &quot;Why?&quot; But dictators themselves ask, &quot;Why not?&quot;
**As quoted in [https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/03/is-putin-popular-c/ &quot;Is Putin Popular?&quot;] (2018), by Jay Nordlinger, ''National Review''
====''Winter is Coming'' (2015)====
*Somehow people always forget that it's much easier to install a dictator than to remove one.
** [https://www.amazon.com/Winter-Coming-Vladimir-Enemies-Stopped/dp/1610396200/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&amp;qid=&amp;sr= Foreword, p. XIV]
* Each victory pulls the victor down slightly and makes it harder to put in maximum effort to improve further. 
** Foreword, p. XX
*The United States is a very different thing. It's a continent-spanning nation built from scratch by millions of immigrants from every part of the world on top of its native population.
** p. 42
* Anatoly Karpov and I donated the prize fund from our 1986 world championship match to the Chernobyl victim relief fund.
** p. 17
* [[Communism]] is like an autoimmune disorder; it doesn't do the killing itself, but it weakens the system so much that the victim is left helpless and unable to fight off anything else.
** p. 33
* We must decide what we value and decide what is worth fighting for and then–the most important part–we must fight for it.
** p. 62
* Reforms are only institutional if they have a real effect on how people live.
** p. 100
* It's not common, in our age, for someone to retire while still at the top, but I'm a man who needs a goal, and who wants to make a difference.
** p. 136
* Great leaders are formed only by taking on great challenges.
** p. 190
* The NSA is to the Stasi what a bad hotel is to a maximum security prison.
** p. 223

====On twitter (2016)====
The point of modern propaganda isn't only to misinform or push an agenda. It is to exhaust your critical thinking, to annihilate truth.
https://twitter.com/kasparov63/status/808750564284702720?lang=en

====Interview with Bill Kristol (2016)====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://conversationswithbillkristol.org/video/garry-kasparov/ Interview with Bill Kristol] (February 2016), [http://conversationswithbillkristol.org/transcript/garry-kasparov-transcript/ transcript]&lt;/small&gt;
*[C]hess was treated by the Soviet authorities as a very important and useful ideological tool to demonstrate the intellectual superiority of the Soviet communist regime over the decadent West.

*&quot;[[Socialism]] with a human face&quot;? ... Frankenstein also had a human face.

====Interview with Bill Kristol (2016)====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://conversationswithbillkristol.org/video/garry-kasparov-ii/ Interview with Bill Kristol] (April 2016), [http://conversationswithbillkristol.org/transcript/garry-kasparov-ii-transcript/ transcript]&lt;/small&gt;

*I was almost annoyed hearing that Putin plays chess and Obama or other leaders of the free world they play checkers. I thought I had to defend the integrity of my game because chess is not a game for dictators for numerous reasons. One, it’s transparent. It’s all information hundred percent available so you know exactly what you have, you know exactly what your opponent has. You don’t know what he or she is thinking, but you definitely know what kind of resources your opponent can use to hurt you, to damage your position.

*[C]hess is not a game for dictators for numerous reasons. One, it's transparent. It’s all information hundred percent available so you know exactly what you have, you know exactly what your opponent has. You don’t know what he or she is thinking, but you definitely know what kind of resources your opponent can use to hurt you, to damage your position. Also, chess is very much a strategic game so you have to think long-term. Dictators don’t think long-term. Dictators, especially who are in power for so long as Putin is, they have to work on the survival mode. Because it’s all about today, maybe tomorrow morning. Everything that helps us survive is good. Because the moment the dictator thinks long-term, he’ll definitely miss guys from his own entourage hitting him in his own back. The game that defines dictators much better is poker because it’s about bluffs. It doesn’t matter whether you have a strong hand or weak hand. You can have a weak hand, but if you’re comfortable bluffing, raising stakes, and if you can read your opponent.

*[I]t's very important to understand that this is the dictators always operate short-term, and democracies must operate long-term because it’s not about one individual who’s currently running the country, whether it’s president or prime minister. It’s about the success of the country. It’s about the success of the system. It’s about pressing, you know, all advantages and their strategic, lasting institutions that could make the difference even when the president or prime minister is no longer in the office.

*Putin hasn’t come out of the blue, you know? It’s not just Putin. That’s why again in my book Winter is Coming, I emphasize why Vladimir Putin and enemies of the free world must be stopped. Because Putin, you may call him bosses of bosses, Capo dei Capi, he’s like a spider in the center of this web. Because Putin helps other bad guys, other thugs, dictators, and terrorists to sort of feel free to attack the free world. Because they all know that unless they attack the free world, unless they attack the United States as the leader of the free world, they will have no credibility with their own people because neither Putin nor Iranian mullahs, nor Al Qaeda, Islamic State or other dictators around the globe, they have nothing to offer but confrontation. They have to present themselves of the protectors of their own people against the world evil. And of course, they have to attack the free world that produces everything that, by the way, they use quite effectively against us. They cannot compete in innovations, they cannot compete in ideas, in productivity. But they can compete in something quite different because for us, each human life is unique. *For them, killing a thousand people, hundreds of thousands of people, a million is a demonstration of strengths. So we should realize that they have no allergy for blood. And they will keep pressing their advantage, and it’s not that we have grown – that our enemies have grown stronger. It’s our resolve that has grown weaker.

*So what’s happened since ’92, it’s where the administrations that changed quite dramatically, the foreign policy, and it was working more like pendulum, swinging from one side to the other. Clinton did very little, W did too much, Obama has been doing nothing. It sent a message – sent numerous messages across the world. While people knew in the 50s and 60s and 70s and 80s that America was there, America was consistent. Even if you have a change in the Oval Office, one party replaces another, you could rely on the United States. America was behind American allies. Today? It’s probably, it’s a springtime to be an American enemy because this administration gives up everything to the enemies and betrays allies. And going back to George W. administration, it’s very popular to criticize Bush today, Bush 43. Especially for [[Iraq War|the Iraq invasion]], and I’ve heard many voices, even within the Republican Party, it’s just floating with the popular trend. First of all, I have to say as somebody who was born and raised in a Communist country, I cannot criticize any action that led to the destruction of dictatorship. I think his people had wrong expectations. When they saw the collapse of Saddam’s dictatorship after [[Iraq War|American invasion of Iraq]] and then the collapse of a few other dictatorships during the Arab Spring, they had expectations that next day, it would be a democracy. It’s wrong. It was very naive because dictators succeeds the staying in power for so many years, not because he’s a nice guy, just helps his people to get out of poverty, but because he’s brutal, he’s cruel. He succeeds in destroying opposition, first political opposition and then freedom of press and remaining horizontal ties in the society. All the NGOs, anything that could represent not just a threat to him, but it’s any sort of the slightest dissent. It’s kind of a political desert. What do you expect in a desert after 10, 20, 30 – in the case of Gaddafi, 42 years of dictatorship?

*Bush Administration was a success. 

*[E]ven if we disagree about the Iraq invasion in 2003 and the consequent moves made by Bush 43 Administration, the decision of Obama Administration to retreat, especially announcing it, this is the worst you can do. At noon, at that day, that month, we are out. By sending the signal to the radical Islamists, to the forces that were about just to recover and prepare again for attacks against the free world, that was a recipe for disaster. It created a vacuum. It’s not a surprise that we live in a world today that is a much more dangerous place than in 2008. It helped Vladimir Putin to regain his confidence and because after his attack against the Republic of Georgia in 2008 in August, he was basically rewarded by Obama/Clinton “reset” policy instead of paying a price for taking territory of neighboring country.

*Since ’91, it was more of poker because again, it’s America, even today is much more powerful than all the enemies combined. It’s probably the first time after the collapse of the Soviet Union that the forces of freedom, the free world, had overwhelming military and economic advantage. And also politically, it dominated the field because even the worst dictatorships now they’re trying to pretend that they have elections. Not pressing it’s advantages looks quite odd because it again create this vacuum, and also I think it affects ordinary people in these countries. Whether it’s Iran, Arab countries, Russia, because they used to look at America as a beacon of freedom and the country that stood firm defending the free world. And now it’s quite odd because America is there, but America is not there. The whole stories about current political climate here and elections, they’re for the eroding reputation of the United States, and I think the damage caused by this administration to the prestige of the country, and especially to the prestige of the presidency, this damage could take years to recover and rebuild.

*It’s easy to lose your reputation, it’s easy to lose your friends, to lose their confidence, than to regain it.

*My response to Bernie Sanders' you know uh stories you know fairytales is that uh the failure of capitalism is still much better than the success of socialism.

====The Truth About Putin (2018)====
:&lt;small&gt;Full text of [http://archive.is/OROvl#selection-1891.141-1891.482 &quot;The Truth About Putin&quot;] (March 2018), ''The Weekly Standard''&lt;/small&gt;
*When I retired from professional chess in 2005 to join the Russian pro-democracy movement against Putin, I was frequently asked how my chess experience might help me in politics. My answer was that it wouldn’t help much at all, because in chess we had fixed rules and uncertain results, while in Russian politics it was exactly the opposite.

*Putin should simply be called a dictator.

*Let’s move on to the next major lie in my opening statement, the idea of Putin’s popularity in Russia. I could not begin to count the number of times I’ve been forced to address this myth, the persistence of which I again attribute to our lack of language to describe modern dictatorships. Terms like “polls” and “popularity” as applied to politicians in the free world have very different meanings in authoritarian regimes. I’m fond of asking in response to questions about Putin’s “popularity” if a restaurant is popular if it’s the only one in town and every other restaurant was burned to the ground.

*This is not to say that a dictator or his policies cannot have popular support. The problem is defining what support means after 18 years of a personality cult and 24/7 propaganda that portrays Putin as a demigod protecting Russia from deadly enemies without and within. A year of fake news trolling and half-baked social media memes had half of America and its vaunted media running in circles in 2016. Imagine what it does to a population when that’s all there is, every hour, every day, for nearly two decades.

*The same definition issue arises with the word “election.” In a free society, the day of the vote is the culmination of a long democratic process that depends on equal access to an unfettered media, fair conditions, debates, etc., none of which have existed in Russia for nearly 20 years. Postulating that Putin would win anyway even if the March 18 election were honest is a meaningless exercise. If he and his policies were truly popular, in the real sense of the word, he wouldn’t need to spend so much time and effort dominating the media, eliminating rivals, and rigging elections large and small. Persecuting bloggers and arresting a single protester standing in the town square with an anti-Putin sign does not strike me as the behavior of a ruler who believes in his own popularity.

*As for polling, when an anonymous caller reaches a Russian at home to ask his opinion of the man who controls every aspect of the Russian police state, it would take great courage to report anything less than enthusiastic support. It is a testament to the bravery of many of my countrymen that Putin does not yet receive the 99 percent approval scores that Saddam Hussein and Muammar Qaddafi enjoyed up until the minute they no longer had the power of life and death over their own citizens.

*It’s still unfathomable that Russia went from joyously celebrating the end of totalitarianism to electing a KGB lieutenant-colonel in just nine years. Never take your liberty for granted, and be careful whom you vote for because it may be the last election you’ll ever have.

*In chess, we say that the player with the initiative is obliged to attack, otherwise the initiative will be lost and the counterattack will likely be decisive.

*The implicit, or even explicit, offer made by authoritarians is stability in exchange for liberty. High oil prices allowed Putin to keep this bargain for a while, aided by an international community that lost interest in promoting liberty as soon as the Berlin Wall fell. Putin was welcomed by the G7 as an equal while destroying democracy and civil society at home. Imagine how difficult it was for us in Russia to attack Putin’s regime as undemocratic while he was being embraced by the leaders of the free world. Even Putin’s invasion of neighboring Georgia in August 2008 resulted in no censure or sanction. He was rewarded by Obama and Hillary Clinton’s reset a few months later, confirming to him that a move into Ukraine would also go unchallenged.

*The old joke about the two main Soviet papers, ''Pravda'' (“Truth”) and ''Izvestia'' (“News”), was “There’s no news in the ''Truth'' and no truth in the ''News''!”

*There are an infinite number of ways to lie and only one truth. Propaganda today is not a wall, not a dike holding back information from reaching the people. It is a flood, overwhelming our critical thinking. The concept is not to promote a particular narrative or agenda but to create doubt and to make people believe that the truth is unknowable. There are no Russian forces in Ukraine. Russia didn’t meddle in the U.S. election. The popular Vladimir Putin was reelected on March 18, 2018.

*Putin is willing to poison bodies in the free world, not only minds. Why would he do this? Why would he call attention to his murderous ways now? Well, I’ll turn that around and ask instead, why wouldn’t he? Dictators don’t ask “Why,” they ask “Why not?”

*Like any bully, Putin only picks fights that he is sure he can win. History tells us that sooner or later, he will become so overconfident, so accustomed to his opponents folding their cards against his weak hand, that he will overstep, potentially resulting in a catastrophe on a global scale.

*Russia’s election spectacle on March 18 isn’t only a domestic distraction. It provides Putin’s defenders in the free world with rhetorical ammunition, as do the approval polls and fake controversies over the fake opposition candidates. There is no form of democratic process or opposition in Putin’s Russia. Pretending otherwise makes you complicit in his propaganda. Stop calling them elections. Stop calling Putin a president. Stop calling to congratulate him on his victories. Let us begin the fight against Putin’s lies with the fundamental truth about what he really is.

=== 2020s ===

* [[Putin]]'s [[w:2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine|war on Ukraine]] has entered its next phase, one of [[destruction]] and [[slaughter]] of civilians. It is also a part of Putin's World War, a [[war]] on the [[civilized]] [[world]] of [[international law]], [[democracy]], and any threat to his [[power]], which he declared long ago.
** [https://twitter.com/Kasparov63/status/1499088993736138754 Start of Twitter thread (2 March 2022)]

==== Stand with Ukraine in the fight against evil (2022) ====
[[File:Ukrainian Army soldiers raise the national flag in Pripyat on April 3, 2022.jpg|thumb|[[Ukraine]] [[w:2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine|is now on the front line of the war]] — ''global [[war]]'' — of [[freedom]] against [[tyranny]]. The war the free world didn't want to admit existed. It cannot be ignored any longer.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[https://www.ted.com/talks/garry_kasparov_stand_with_ukraine_in_the_fight_against_evil/transcript?language=en &quot;Stand with Ukraine in the fight against evil&quot;, TED talk (April 2022)]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Bucha massacre aftermath, c. April 2022.jpg|thumb|This is not [[chess]]. This is not a battle between opposite colors, but of opposite [[values]]. Freedom, [[life]] and [[love]] versus tyranny, [[death]] and [[hatred]]. &lt;br/&gt; This is not chess. But sometimes things are black and white. Sometimes you have to fight for what you believe. Or you lose it. &lt;br/&gt; This is not chess. There are no draws, no compromises in our battle with true [[evil]]. It's win or lose. And so we must fight. And so we must win.]] 

* I regularly say in my lectures on artificial intelligence that humans will always have a monopoly on evil. It's not a threat, just a reminder that people choose. We are not algorithms. We are not bound by code or commandments or laws or treaties. We have them. But we choose. &lt;br/&gt; So let us talk now about the choices we make. About things in black and white. About Russia's war on Ukraine. And about good and evil.

* My life experience prepared me to identify evil at an early age. Not my life as the chess player. Not even as the youngest world champion in history. No. My relevant experience is where I was born and raised, in what Ronald Reagan accurately called the “evil empire,” the USSR. As a young star in the chess-crazed Soviet Union in the ’70s and ’80s, I had many privileges my compatriots did not. I could travel to the West outside of the Iron Curtain, where it was obvious to me very quickly that they were the free world and we were not, despite what communist propaganda told us.

* Oh, what a great moment in world history. How we celebrated, the evil empire had fallen, the future looked bright. And yet, eight years later, on December 31, 1999, a former lieutenant colonel of the KGB became the president of Russia. His name was Vladimir Putin. How this happened is a long, painful story. And in fact, I wrote a book about it in 2015 called &quot;Winter is Coming.&quot; Not an original title, I have to admit. ... But I'm a fan of &quot;Game of Thrones.&quot; ... And also I felt it was appropriate because it was a warning. The subtitle was more important: &quot;Why Vladimir Putin and the Enemies of the Free World Must Be Stopped.&quot; The publisher, by the way, didn't like it. &quot;Enemies.&quot; It's too harsh. Sounded like Cold War. &lt;br/&gt; Well, here we are, 17 years later. And if I wrote a sequel, it would be called “Winter Is Here.” And the subtitle would be &quot;I Bleeping Told You So.&quot;

* Putin was telling us what he was. All we had to do was listen. When Putin said that there was no such thing as a former KGB agent, I knew Russia's fragile democracy was in danger. When Putin said that the collapse of the Soviet Union was the greatest geopolitical catastrophe of the 20th century, I knew Russia’s newly independent neighbors were at risk. And when Putin talked at the Munich Security Conference in 2007 about a return to spheres of influence, I knew he was ready to launch his plan. It was the language from the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact, 1939. The language Hitler and Stalin used to divide Europe. And a year later, in 2008, Putin invaded the Republic of Georgia. 2014, Ukraine.

* It's a paradox, isn't it? Dictators lie about everything they have done, but often they tell us exactly what they're going to do. Just listen. Anyone who is surprised at Putin's war crimes in Ukraine must not be aware about his long record, beginning with the Second Chechen War in Grozny more than two decades ago. Vladimir Putin has been a war criminal from the start.

* I retired from professional chess to form a pro-democracy, anti-Putin movement in Russia. As you could see, it didn't go so well. But it was not about winning or losing. I knew it was my moral duty in keeping with the slogan of Soviet dissidents: &quot;Do what you must and so be it.&quot; Ah, my friends and critics both kept telling me, &quot;Gary, you are a chess player, you're not a politician. This is not chess. You see everything in black and white. Politics are gray. You have to compromise.&quot; Really? Those who peacefully marched with me for free Russia are either in exile, like me. Or in jail, like Alexei Navalny. Or even murdered like Boris Nemtsov. &lt;br/&gt; Compromise? Not black and white? Are you sure? Compromise with this? 

* You cannot look at the images from Ukraine in recent weeks and say there is no pure evil. Mariupol destroyed, Bucha slaughtered, Kramatorsk train station massacred. And worse is yet to come. &lt;br/&gt; And these horrors are not from Poland in 1945. Not from Rwanda in 1994. Not Aleppo 2016. This is Europe this week. How could this happen? How did we forget what evil can do? We have lost the generation that saw World War II firsthand. Otherwise we reserve absolute evil for fiction. &lt;br/&gt; In fables, they believe in true evil. Good is harder to define. There is no pure good. If anyone says they know what pure good is, it's probably evil. &lt;br/&gt; In fantasy tales of hobbits and elves and dwarves, there was an idea that good comes in different forms and shapes, often in conflict. But they had to be united when facing absolute evil. Good will disagree. Evil says, &quot;No more disagreements ever.&quot; That was life in real Mordor, the Soviet Union. That's what Putin wants for Russia and the world. &lt;br/&gt; We celebrated the end of the Cold War, but for too long, we forgot that evil doesn’t die. It can be buried for a while under the rubble of the Berlin Wall, but it grows back through the cracks of our apathy.

* Once the move is made you cannot change it. Acknowledge the wrongdoings of the past, but do not pretend it can be fixed. It's the present that must be fixed. The heroes of the past were far from perfect. But the world we live in is better because of them. We too cannot be perfect. But we must always try to be better.

* As a chess player, I know that strategy is the future impact of present decisions. However grand our plans are for two, five, even ten moves ahead, it's the move that we make now that determines that future.

* [[Ukraine]] [[w:2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine|is now on the front line of the war]] — ''global [[war]]'' — of [[freedom]] against [[tyranny]]. The war the free world didn't want to admit existed. It cannot be ignored any longer. &lt;br/&gt; Brave Ukrainians are fighting like hell and dying right now to remind us not to take [[liberty]] for granted. [[Putin]], like every [[dictator]] before him, underestimated the [[free will]] of free [[people]]. They deserve every [[weapon]], every resource to [[win]] this war. Because they're fighting for us. Not only for the whole and free Ukraine. 

* Everyone who told me a decade ago I was wrong, now is telling I'm right. Unfortunately. But we're still repeating the same mistakes of thinking that we can muddle through without taking risks, without taking a stand. The price of stopping a dictator always goes up with every delay, every hesitation. Meeting evil halfway, it's still a victory for evil. 

* This is not [[chess]]. This is not a battle between opposite colors, but of opposite [[values]]. Freedom, [[life]] and [[love]] versus tyranny, [[death]] and [[hatred]]. &lt;br/&gt; This is not chess. But sometimes things are black and white. Sometimes you have to fight for what you believe. Or you lose it. &lt;br/&gt; This is not chess. There are no draws, no compromises in our battle with true [[evil]]. It's win or lose. And so we must fight. And so we must win. &lt;br/&gt; ''Slava Ukraini!'' Glory to Ukraine. Glory to freedom.

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      <text bytes="58371" xml:space="preserve">[[File:AUNG SAN SUU KYI P6060070 01.jpg|thumb|right|Concepts such as [[truth]], [[justice]] and [[compassion]] cannot be dismissed as trite when these are often the only bulwarks which stand against ruthless [[power]].]]
Daw '''[[w:Aung San Suu Kyi|Aung San Suu Kyi]]''' (born [[19 June]] [[1945]]) is a non-violent pro-democracy social activist of [[w:Myanmar|Myanmar]]; Winner of the 1990 Sakharov Prize for Freedom of Thought and the 1991 Nobel Peace Prize. In 2016 she became the first [[w:State Counsellor|State Counsellor]] of [[w:Myanmar|Myanmar]]. Since 2017 she has been widely criticized for silence and inaction regarding the [[w:2016 Rohingya persecution in Myanmar|2016 -]] [[w:2017 Rohingya persecution in Myanmar|2017 persecutions]] of the [[w:Rohingya people|Rohingya people]].

== Quotes ==
[[File:Aung San Suu Kyi speaking to supporters at National League for Democracy (NLD) headquarter.jpg|thumb|It would be difficult to dispel [[ignorance]] unless there is [[freedom]] to pursue the [[truth]] unfettered by [[fear]].]]
 
[[File:Portrait of Aung San Suu Kyi.JPG|thumb|Please use your [[liberty]] to promote ours.]]

* '''Revered monks and people. This public rally is aimed at informing the whole world of the will of the people...''' Our purpose is to show that the entire people entertain the keenest desire for a multiparty democratic system of government.
** First public speech (26 August 1988)

* '''Democracy allows people to have different views, and democracy''' makes it also -- '''makes us also responsible for negotiating an answer for those views.''' [...] So we would like to -- it’s not just a matter of debating the case in parliament and winning Brownie points or Boy Scout points, or whatever they’re called. But it’s just a case of standing up for what we think our country needs. And '''we would like to talk to those who disagree with us. That, again, is what democracy is about. You talk to those who disagree with you; you don’t beat them down. You exchange views. And you come to a compromise, a settlement that would be best for the country. I’ve always said that dialogues and debates are not aimed at achieving victory for one particular party or the other, but victory for our people as a whole.''' [...] We want to build up a strong foundation for national reconciliation, which means reconciliation not just between the different ethnic groups and between different religious groups, but between different ideas -- for example, between the idea of military supremacy and the idea of civilian authority over the military, which is the foundation of democracy.
** [http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2014/11/14/remarks-president-obama-and-daw-aung-san-suu-kyi-burma-joint-press-confe Remarks by President Obama and Daw Aung San Suu Kyi of Burma in Joint Press Conference at Aung San Suu Kyi Residence in Rangoon, Burma on November 14, 2014]

* Our struggle for democracy has been carried out with a strong grasp on the principle of nonviolence. And also, we believe in the rule of law. So '''if you ask how do we propose to resolve all of these problems of violence between communities, between different ethnic groups, we've got to start with rule of law. People have to feel secure before they can start talking to one another. We cannot achieve harmony without security. People who feel threatened are not going to sit down and sort out their problems.''' So I would like to recommend, as the chair of the Rule of Law and Tranquility Committee -- don't forget that tranquility is also included -- that the government should look to rule of law. '''It is the duty of the government to make all our people feel secure, and it is the duty of our people to learn to live in harmony with one another.'''
** [http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2014/11/14/remarks-president-obama-and-daw-aung-san-suu-kyi-burma-joint-press-confe Remarks by President Obama and Daw Aung San Suu Kyi of Burma in Joint Press Conference at Aung San Suu Kyi Residence in Rangoon, Burma on November 14, 2014]

=== In Quest of Democracy (1991) ===
[[File:Suu-kyi-gives-speech-to-supporters.jpg|thumb|The root of a nation's misfortunes has to be sought in the moral failings of the government.]]
[[File:Suu-kyi-gives-speech-in-khawmu.jpg|thumb|Those who govern should be wholly bound by the truth in thought, word and deed.]]
[[File:Aung San Suu Kyi greeting supporters from Bago State.jpg|thumb|Each man has in him the potential to realize the truth through his own will and endeavour and to help others to realize it. Human life therefore is infinitely precious.]]
[[File:Manifestion pour la liberation de aung san suu kyi au siege de l ONU a new york.jpg|thumb|The true measure of the justice of a system is the amount of protection it guarantees to the weakest.]]
[[File:A mosaic LAW by Frederick Dielman, 1847-1935.JPG|thumb| Where there is no justice there can be no secure peace.]]
[[File:Vrouwejustitia.jpg|thumb|Just laws which uphold human rights are the necessary foundation of peace]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.ibiblio.org/obl/docs3/In_Quest_of_Democracy-ocr.pdf In Quest of Democracy] (1991)&lt;/small&gt;
* '''The root of a nation's misfortunes has to be sought in the moral failings of the [[government]].'''

* The good [[ruler]] sublimates his needs as an individual to the service of the nation.

* '''While a private [[individual]] may be bound only by the formal vows that he makes, those who govern should be wholly bound by the truth in thought, word and deed.'''

* '''It is undeniably easier to ignore the hardships of those who are too weak to demand their rights than to respond sensitively to their needs. To care is to accept responsibility, to dare to act in accordance with the dictum that the [[ruler]] is the strength of the helpless.'''

* The royal duty of non-opposition is a reminder that the legitimacy of [[government]] is founded on the consent of the people, who may withdraw their mandate at any time if they lose confidence in the ability of the ruler to serve their best interests.

* It is a strong argument for democracy that '''governments regulated by principles of accountability, respect for public opinion and the supremacy of just laws are more likely than an all-powerful ruler or ruling class, uninhibited by the need to honour the will of the people''', to observe the traditional duties of Buddhist kingship. Traditional values serve both to justify and to decipher popular expectations of democratic government.

* '''Each man has in him the potential to realize the truth through his own will and endeavour and to help others to realize it. Human life therefore is infinitely precious.'''

* But '''despotic governments do not recognize the precious human component of the state, seeing its citizens only as a faceless, mindless - and helpless - mass to be manipulated at will. It is as though people were incidental to a nation rather than its very life-blood. Patriotism''', which '''should be the vital love and care of a people for their land''', is debased into a smokescreen of hysteria to hide the injustices of '''authoritarian rulers''' who '''define the interests of the state in terms of their own limited interests.'''

* '''Weak logic, inconsistencies and alienation from the people are common features of authoritarianism. The relentless attempts of totalitarian regimes to prevent free thought and new ideas and the persistent assertion of their own rightness bring on them an intellectual stasis which they project on to the nation at large. Intimidation and propaganda work in a duet of oppression, while the people, lapped in fear and distrust, learn to dissemble and to keep silent.''' And all the time the desire grows for a system which will lift them from the position of 'rice-eating robots' to the status of human beings who can think and speak freely and hold their heads high in the security of their rights.

* Hope and optimism are irrepressible but there is a deep underlying premonition that the opposition to change is likely to be vicious. Often the anxious question is asked: will such an oppressive regime really give us democracy? And the answer has to be: '''democracy, like liberty, justice and other social and political rights, is not 'given', it is earned through courage, resolution and sacrifice.'''

* '''Revolutions generally reflect the irresistible impulse for necessary changes which have been held back by official policies or retarded by social apathy. The institutions and practices of democracy provide ways and means by which such changes could be effected without recourse to violence. But change is anathema to authoritarianism, which will tolerate no deviation from rigid policies. Democracy acknowledges the right to differ as well as the duty to settle differences peacefully. Authoritarian governments see criticism of their actions and doctrines as a challenge to combat. Opposition is equated with 'confrontation', which is interpreted as violent conflict. Regimented minds cannot grasp the concept of confrontation as an open exchange of major differences with a view to settlement through genuine dialogue. The insecurity of power based on coercion translates into a need to crush all dissent.''' Within the framework of liberal democracy, protest and dissent can exist in healthy counterpart with orthodoxy and conservatism, contained by a general recognition of the need to balance respect for individual rights with respect for law and order.

* The words 'law and order' have so frequently been misused as an excuse for oppression that the very phrase has become suspect in countries which have known authoritarian rule. [...] '''There is no intrinsic virtue to law and order unless 'law' is equated with justice and 'order' with the discipline of a people satisfied that justice has been done. Law as an instrument of state oppression is a familiar feature of totalitarianism. Without a popularly elected legislature and an independent judiciary to ensure due process, the authorities can enforce as 'law' arbitrary decrees that are in fact flagrant negations of all acceptable norms of justice. There can be no security for citizens in a state where new 'laws' can be made and old ones changed to suit the convenience of the powers that be.''' The iniquity of such practices is traditionally recognized by the precept that existing laws should not be set aside at will.

* '''The true measure of the justice of a system is the amount of protection it guarantees to the weakest.'''

* '''Where there is no justice there can be no secure peace.'''

* The [[w:Universal Declaration of Human Rights|Universal Declaration of Human Rights]] recognizes that 'if man is not to be compelled to have recourse, as a last resort, to rebellion against tyranny and oppression', human rights should be protected by the rule of law. That '''just laws which uphold human rights are the necessary foundation of peace''' and security would be denied only by closed minds which interpret peace as the silence of all opposition and security as the assurance of their own power.

* '''In a revolutionary movement there is always the danger that political exigencies might obscure, or even nullify, essential spiritual aims. A firm insistence on the inviolability and primacy of such aims is not mere idealism but a necessary safeguard against an ''[[Animal Farm]]'' syndrome where the new order after its first flush of enthusiastic reforms takes on the murky colours of the very system it has replaced.'''

* '''The unhappy legacies of authoritarianism can be removed only if the concept of absolute power as the basis of government is replaced by the concept of confidence as the mainspring of political authority: the confidence of the people in their right and ability to decide the destiny of their nation, mutual confidence between the people and their leaders and, most important of all, confidence in the principles of justice, liberty and human rights.'''

* There is an instinctive understanding that the cultural, social and political development of a nation is a dynamic process which has to be given purpose and direction by drawing on tradition as well as by experiment, innovation and a willingness to evaluate both old and new ideas objectively.

=== Freedom from Fear (1991) ===
:&lt;small&gt;Acceptance message for the 1990 Sakharov Prize for Freedom of Thought (July 1991) &lt;/small&gt;

* '''It is not power that corrupts but fear. Fear of losing power corrupts those who wield it and fear of the scourge of power corrupts those who are subject to it.''' Most Burmese are familiar with the four a-gati, the four kinds of corruption. Chanda-gati, corruption induced by desire, is deviation from the right path in pursuit of bribes or for the sake of those one loves. Dosa-gati is taking the wrong path to spite those against whom one bears ill will, and moga-gati is aberration due to ignorance. But perhaps the worst of the four is bhaya-gati, for not only does bhaya, fear, stifle and slowly destroy all sense of right and wrong, it so often lies at the root of the other three kinds of corruption. Just as chanda-gati, when not the result of sheer avarice, can be caused by fear of want or fear of losing the goodwill of those one loves, so fear of being surpassed, humiliated or injured in some way can provide the impetus for ill will. And '''it would be difficult to dispel ignorance unless there is freedom to pursue the truth unfettered by fear.''' With so close a relationship between fear and corruption it is little wonder that in any society where fear is rife corruption in all forms becomes deeply entrenched.

* The effort necessary to remain uncorrupted in an environment where fear is an integral part of everyday existence is not immediately apparent to those fortunate enough to live in states governed by the rule of law. Just laws do not merely prevent corruption by meting out impartial punishment to offenders. They also help to create a society in which people can fulfil the basic requirements necessary for the preservation of human dignity without recourse to corrupt practices. Where there are no such laws, the burden of upholding the principles of justice and common decency falls on the ordinary people. It is the cumulative effect on their sustained effort and steady endurance which will change a nation where reason and conscience are warped by fear into one where legal rules exist to promote man's desire for harmony and justice while restraining the less desirable destructive traits in his nature.

* In an age when immense technological advances have created lethal weapons which could be, and are, used by the powerful and the unprincipled to dominate the weak and the helpless, there is a compelling need for a closer relationship between politics and ethics at both the national and international levels. The [[w:Universal Declaration of Human Rights|Universal Declaration of Human Rights]] of the United Nations proclaims that 'every individual and every organ of society' should strive to promote the basic rights and freedoms to which all human beings regardless of race, nationality or religion are entitled. But as long as there are governments whose authority is founded on coercion rather than on the mandate of the people, and interest groups which place short-term profits above long-term peace and prosperity, concerted international action to protect and promote human rights will remain at best a partially realized struggle.

* '''The quintessential revolution is that of the spirit, born of an intellectual conviction of the need for change in those mental attitudes and values which shape the course of a nation's development. A revolution which aims merely at changing official policies and institutions with a view to an improvement in material conditions has little chance of genuine success.''' Without a revolution of the spirit, the forces which produced the iniquities of the old order would continue to be operative, posing a constant threat to the process of reform and regeneration. It is not enough merely to call for freedom, democracy and human rights. There has to be a united determination to persevere in the struggle, to make sacrifices in the name of enduring truths, to resist the corrupting influences of desire, ill will, ignorance and fear.

* Among the basic freedoms to which men aspire that their lives might be full and uncramped, freedom from fear stands out as both a means and an end. A people who would build a nation in which strong, democratic institutions are firmly established as a guarantee against state-induced power must first learn to liberate their own minds from apathy and fear.

* [[Mahatma Gandhi|Gandhi]], that great apostle of non-violence, and [[w:Aung San|Aung San]], the founder of a national army, were very different personalities, but as there is an inevitable sameness about the challenges of authoritarian rule anywhere at any time, so there is a similarity in the intrinsic qualities of those who rise up to meet the challenge.

* Fearlessness may be a gift but perhaps more precious is the courage acquired through endeavour, courage that comes from cultivating the habit of refusing to let fear dictate one's actions, courage that could be described as &quot;grace under pressure&quot; — grace which is renewed repeatedly in the face of harsh, unremitting pressure.

* '''Within a system which denies the existence of basic human rights, fear tends to be the order of the day. Fear of imprisonment, fear of torture, fear of death, fear of losing friends, family, property or means of livelihood, fear of poverty, fear of isolation, fear of failure. A most insidious form of fear is that which masquerades as common sense or even wisdom, condemning as foolish, reckless, insignificant or futile the small, daily acts of courage which help to preserve man's self-respect and inherent human dignity. It is not easy for a people conditioned by fear under the iron rule of the principle that might is right to free themselves from the enervating miasma of fear. Yet even under the most crushing state machinery courage rises up again and again, for fear is not the natural state of civilized man.'''

* The wellspring of courage and endurance in the face of unbridled power is generally a firm belief in the sanctity of ethical principles combined with a historical sense that despite all setbacks the condition of man is set on an ultimate course for both spiritual and material advancement. It is his capacity for self-improvement and self-redemption which most distinguishes man from the mere brute. At the root of human responsibility is the concept of perfection, the urge to achieve it, the intelligence to find a path towards it, and the will to follow that path if not to the end at least the distance needed to rise above individual limitations and environmental impediments. '''It is man's vision of a world fit for rational, civilized humanity which leads him to dare and to suffer to build societies free from want and fear. Concepts such as truth, justice and compassion cannot be dismissed as trite when these are often the only bulwarks which stand against ruthless power.'''

=== Opening Keynote Address at NGO Forum on Women, Beijing China (1995) ===
:&lt;small&gt; [http://gos.sbc.edu/k/kyi.html &quot;Opening Keynote Address at NGO Forum on Women, Beijing &quot; in the ''Video recording August 31, 1995'' (august 31, 1995)]&lt;/small&gt;

* It is a wonderful but daunting task that has fallen on me to say few words by way of opening this Forum, the greatest concourse of women (joined by a few brave men!) that has ever gathered on our planet. I want to try and voice some of the common hopes which firmly unite us in all our splendid diversity.

* But first I would like to explain why I cannot be with you in person today. Last month I was released from almost six years of house arrest. The regaining of my freedom has in turn imposed a duty on me to work for the freedom of other women and men in my country who have suffered far more -- and who continue to suffer far more -- than I have. It is this duty which prevents me from joining you today. Even sending this message to you has not been without difficulties. But the help of those who believe in international cooperation and freedom of expression has enabled me to overcome the obstacles. They made it possible for me to make a small contribution to this great celebration of the struggle of women to mould their own destiny and to influence the fate of our global village.

* The opening plenary of this Forum will be presenting an overview of the global forces affecting the quality of life of the human community and the challenges they pose for the global community as a whole and for women in particular as we approach the twenty-first century. However, with true womanly understanding, the Convener of this Forum suggested that among these global forces and challenges, I might wish to concentrate on those matters which occupy all my waking thoughts these days: peace, security, human rights and democracy. I would like to discuss these issues particularly in the context of the participation of women in politics and governance.

* For millennia women have dedicated themselves almost exclusively to the task of nurturing, protecting and caring for the young and the old, striving for the conditions of peace that favour life as a whole. To this can be added the fact that, to the best of my knowledge, no war was ever started by women. But it is women and children who have always suffered most in situations of conflict. Now that we are gaining control of the primary historical role imposed on us of sustaining life in the context of the home and family, it is time to apply in the arena of the world the wisdom and experience thus gained in activities of peace over so many thousands of years. The education and empowerment of women throughout the world cannot fail to result in a more caring, tolerant, just and peaceful life for all.

* If to these universal benefits of the growing emancipation of women can be added to the &quot;peace dividend&quot; for human development offered by the end of the Cold War, spending less on the war toys of grown men and much more on the urgent needs of humanity as a whole, then truly the next millennia will be an age the like of which has never been seen in human history. But there still remain many obstacles to be overcome before we can achieve this goal. And not least among those obstacles are intolerance and insecurity.

* This year is the International Year for Tolerance. The United Nations has recognized that &quot;tolerance, human rights, democracy and peace are closely related. Without tolerance, the foundations form democracy and respect for human rights cannot be strengthened, and the achievement of peace will remain elusive.&quot; My own experience during the years I have been engaged in the democracy movement of Burma has convinced me of the need to emphasize the positive aspect of tolerance. It is not enough simply to &quot;live and let live&quot;: genuine tolerance requires an active effort to try to understand the point of view of others; it implies broad-mindedness and vision, as well as confidence in one's own ability to meet new challenges without resorting to intransigence or violence. In societies where men are truly confident of their own worth women are not merely &quot;tolerated&quot;, they are valued. Their opinions are listened to with respect, they are given their rightful place in shaping the society in which they live.

* There is an outmoded Burmese proverb still recited by men who wish to deny that women too can play a part in bringing necessary change and progress to their society: &quot;The dawn rises only when the rooster crows.&quot; But Burmese people today are well aware of the scientific reasons behind the rising of dawn and the falling of dusk. And the intelligent rooster surely realizes that it is because dawn comes that it crows and not the other way round. It crows to welcome the light that has come to relieve the darkness of night. It is not the prerogative of men alone to bring light to this world: women with their capacity for compassion and self-sacrifice, their courage and perseverance, have done much to dissipate the darkness of intolerance and hate, suffering and despair.

* Often the other side of the coin of intolerance is insecurity. Insecure people tend to be intolerant, and their intolerance unleashes forces that threaten the security of others. And where there is no security there can be no lasting peace. In its &quot;Human Development Report&quot; for last year the UNDP noted that human security &quot;is not a concern with weapons -- it is a concern with human life and dignity.&quot; The struggle for democracy and human rights in Burma is a struggle for life and dignity. It is a struggle that encompasses our political, social and economic aspirations. The people of my country want the two freedoms that spell security: freedom from want and freedom from fear. It is want that has driven so many of our young girls across our borders to a life of sexual slavery where they are subject to constant humiliation and ill-treatment. It is fear of persecution for their political beliefs that has made so many of our people feel that even in their own homes they cannot live in dignity and security.

* Traditionally the home is the domain of the woman. But there has never been a guarantee that she can live out her life there safe and unmolested. There are countless women who are subjected to severe cruelty within the heart of the family which should be their haven. And in times of crisis when their menfolk are unable to give them protection, women have to face the harsh challenges of the world outside while continuing to discharge their duties within the home.

* Many of my male colleagues who have suffered imprisonment for their part in the democracy movement have spoken of the great debt of gratitude they owe their womenfolk, particularly to their wives who stood by them firmly, tender as mothers nursing their newly born, brave as lionesses defending their young. These magnificent human beings who have done so much to aid their men in the struggle for justice and peace -- how much more could they not achieve if given the opportunity to work in their own right for the good of their country and of the world.

* Our endeavours have also been sustained by the activities of strong and principled women all over the world who have campaigned not only for my own release but, more importantly, for our cause. I cannot let this opportunity pass without speaking of the gratitude we feel towards our sisters everywhere, from heads of government to busy housewives. Their efforts have been a triumphant demonstration of female solidarity and of the power of an ideal to cross all frontiers.

* In my country at present, women have no participation in the higher levels of government and none whatsoever in the judiciary. Even within the democratic movement only 14 out of the 485 MPs elected in 1990 were women -- all from my own party, the National League for Democracy. These 14 women represent less than 3 percent of the total number of successful candidates. They, like their male colleagues, have not been permitted to take office since the outcome of those elections has been totally ignored. Yet the very high performance of women in our educational system and in the management of commercial enterprises proves their enormous potential to contribute to the betterment of society in general. Meanwhile our women have yet to achieve those fundamental rights of free expression, association and security of life denied also to their menfolk.

* The adversities that we have had to face together have taught all of us involved in the struggle to build a truly democratic political system in Burma that there are no gender barriers that cannot be overcome. The relationship between men and women should, and can be, characterized not by patronizing behavior or exploitation, but by METTA (that is to say loving kindness), partnership and trust. We need mutual respect and understanding between men and women, instead of patriarchal domination and degradation, which are expressions of violence and engender counter-violence. We can learn from each other and help one another to moderate the &quot;gender weaknesses&quot; imposed upon us by traditional or biological factors.

* There is an age old prejudice the world over to effect that women talk too much. But is this really a weakness? Could it not in fact be a strength? Recent scientific research on the human brain has revealed that women are better at verbal skills while men tend towards physical action. Psychological research has shown on the other hand that disinformation engendered by men has a far more damaging effect on its victims than feminine gossip. Surely these discoveries indicate that women have a most valuable contribution to make in situations of conflict, by leading the way to solutions based on dialogue rather than on viciousness or violence?

* The Buddhist PAVARANA ceremony at the end of the rainy season retreat was instituted by the Lord Buddha, who did not want human beings to live in silence &quot;like dumb animals.&quot; This ceremony, during which monks ask mutual forgiveness for any offence given during the retreat, can be said to be a council of truth and reconciliation. It might also be considered a forerunner of that most democratic of institutions, the parliament, a meeting of peoples gathered together to talk over their shared problems. All the world's great religions are dedicated to the generation of happiness and harmony. This demonstrates the fact that together with the combative instincts of man there co-exists a spiritual aspiration for mutual understanding and peace.

* This forum of non-governmental organizations represents the belief in the ability of intelligent human beings to resolve conflicting interests through exchange and dialogue. It also represents the conviction that governments alone cannot resolve all the problems of their countries. The watchfulness and active cooperation of organizations outside the spheres of officialdom are necessary to ensure the four essential components of the human development paradigm as identified by the UNDP: productivity, equity, sustainability and empowerment. The last is particularly relevant: it requires that &quot;development must be BY people, not only FOR them. People must participate fully in the decisions and processes that shape their lives.&quot; In other words people must be allowed to play a significant role in the governance of their country. And &quot;people&quot; include women who make up at least half of the world's population.

* The last six years afforded me much time and food for thought. I came to the conclusion that the human race is not divided into two opposing camps of good and evil. It is made up of those who are capable of learning and those who are incapable of doing so. Here I am not talking of learning in the narrow sense of acquiring an academic education, but of learning as the process of absorbing those lessons of life that enable us to increase peace and happiness in our world. Women in their role as mothers have traditionally assumed the responsibility of teaching children values that will guide them throughout their lives. It is time we were given the full opportunity to use our natural teaching skills to contribute towards building a modern world that can withstand the tremendous challenges of the technological revolution which has in turn brought revolutionary changes in social values.

* As we strive to teach others we must have the humility to acknowledge that we too still have much to learn. And we must have the flexibility to adapt to the changing needs of the world around us. Women who have been taught that modesty and pliancy are among the prized virtues of our gender are marvellously equipped for the learning process. But they must be given the opportunity to turn these often merely passive virtues into positive assets for the society in which they live.

* These, then, are our common hopes that unite us -- that as the shackles of prejudice and intolerance fall from our own limbs we can together strive to identify and remove the impediments to human development everywhere. The mechanisms by which this great task is to be achieved provide the proper focus of this great Forum. I feel sure that women throughout the world who, like me, cannot be with you join me now in sending you all our prayers and good wishes for a joyful and productive meeting.

* I thank you

=== Please Use Your Liberty to Promote Ours (1997) ===
:&lt;small&gt; [http://www.nytimes.com/1997/02/04/opinion/04iht-edaung.t.html &quot;Please Use Your Liberty to Promote Ours&quot; in the ''International Herald Tribune'' (4 February 1997)]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Remise du Prix Sakharov à Aung San Suu Kyi Strasbourg 22 octobre 2013-21.jpg|thumb|Investment that only goes to enrich an already wealthy elite bent on monopolizing both economic and political power cannot contribute toward égalité and justice — the foundation stones for a sound democracy. [...] Please use your liberty to promote ours.]]

* '''Those of us who decided to work for democracy in Burma made our choice in the conviction that the danger of standing up for basic human rights in a repressive society was preferable to the safety of a quiescent life in servitude.''' Ours is a nonviolent movement that depends on faith in the human predilection for fair play and compassion.&lt;br&gt;Some would insist that man is primarily an economic animal interested only in his material well-being. This is too narrow a view of a species which has produced numberless brave men and women who are prepared to undergo relentless persecution to uphold deeply held beliefs and principles. It is my pride and inspiration that such men and women exist in my country today.

* When we are struggling against overwhelming odds, when we are pitting ourselves against the combined might of state apparatus and military power, '''we are sometimes subject to doubts — usually the doubts of those whose belief in the permanence of an existing order is absolute. It is amazing how many people still remain convinced that it is wise to accept the status quo.'''

* '''We have faith in the power to change what needs to be changed but we are under no illusion that the transition from dictatorship to liberal democracy will be easy, or that democratic government will mean the end of all our problems.''' We know that our greatest challenges lie ahead of us and that our struggle to establish a stable, democratic society will continue beyond our own life span.&lt;br&gt; But we know that we are not alone. The cause of liberty and justice finds sympathetic responses around the world. Thinking and feeling people everywhere, regardless of color or creed, understand the deeply rooted human need for a meaningful existence that goes beyond the mere gratification of material desires. Those fortunate enough to live in societies where they are entitled to full political rights can reach out to help their less fortunate brethren in other areas of our troubled planet.

* Part of our struggle is to make the international community understand that we are a poor country not because there is an insufficiency of resources and investment, but because we are deprived of the basic institutions and practices that make for good government.

* There are multinational business concerns which have no inhibitions about dealing with repressive regimes. Their justification for economic involvement in Burma is that their presence will actually assist the process of democratization. But '''investment that only goes to enrich an already wealthy elite bent on monopolizing both economic and political power cannot contribute toward égalité and justice — the foundation stones for a sound democracy.''' &lt;br/&gt;I would therefore like to call upon those who have an interest in expanding their capacity for promoting intellectual freedom and humanitarian ideals to take a principled stand against companies that are doing business with the Burmese military regime. '''Please use your liberty to promote ours.'''

=== Nobel Peace Prize Acceptance Speech (2012) ===
:&lt;small&gt; [http://www.nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/peace/laureates/1991/kyi-lecture_en.html# Nobel Lecture by Aung San Suu Kyi, Oslo, 16 June, 2012]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Animated_dove_holding_an_olive_branch.gif|thumb|right|Every [[thought]], every [[word]], and every action that adds to the positive and the wholesome is a contribution to [[peace]]. Each and every one of us is capable of making such a contribution.]]
[[File:LuMaxArt_Golden_Family_With_World_Religions.jpg|thumb|right|Even if we do not achieve [[perfect]] [[peace]] on [[earth]], because perfect peace is not of this earth, common endeavours to gain peace will [[unite]] [[individuals]] and [[nations]] in [[trust]] and [[friendship]] and [[help]] to make our [[human]] [[community]] safer and kinder.]]

* To be forgotten. The French say that to part is to die a little. '''To be forgotten''' too '''is to die a little. It is to lose some of the links that anchor us to the rest of humanity.'''

* Are we not still guilty, if to a less violent degree, of recklessness, of improvidence with regard to our future and our humanity? '''War is not the only arena where peace is done to death. Wherever suffering is ignored, there will be the seeds of conflict, for suffering degrades and embitters and enrages.'''

* '''If suffering were an unavoidable part of our existence, we should try to alleviate it as far as possible in practical, earthly ways.'''

* As you look at me and listen to me, please remember the often repeated truth that '''one [[w:prisoner of conscience|prisoner of conscience]] is one too many.'''

* '''The peace of our world is indivisible. As long as negative forces are getting the better of positive forces anywhere, we are all at risk.''' It may be questioned whether all negative forces could ever be removed. The simple answer is: “No!” It is in human nature to contain both the positive and the negative. However, it is also within human capability to work to reinforce the positive and to minimize or neutralize the negative. '''Absolute peace in our world is an unattainable goal. But it is one towards which we must continue to journey, our eyes fixed on it as a traveller in a desert fixes his eyes on the one guiding star that will lead him to salvation. Even if we do not achieve perfect peace on earth, because perfect peace is not of this earth, common endeavours to gain peace will unite individuals and nations in trust and friendship and help to make our human community safer and kinder.'''

* Of the sweets of adversity, and let me say that these are not numerous, I have found the sweetest, the most precious of all, is the lesson I learnt on the value of kindness. Every kindness I received, small or big, convinced me that there could never be enough of it in our world. '''To be kind is to respond with sensitivity and human warmth to the hopes and needs of others. Even the briefest touch of kindness can lighten a heavy heart. Kindness can change the lives of people.'''

* ‘Donor fatigue’ expresses itself precisely in the reduction of funding. ‘Compassion fatigue’ expresses itself less obviously in the reduction of concern. One is the consequence of the other. Can we afford to indulge in compassion fatigue? Is the cost of meeting the needs of refugees greater than the cost that would be consequent on turning an indifferent, if not a blind, eye on their suffering? I appeal to donors the world over to fulfill the needs of these people who are in search, often it must seem to them a vain search, of refuge.

* '''Every thought, every word, and every action that adds to the positive and the wholesome is a contribution to peace. Each and every one of us is capable of making such a contribution. Let us join hands to try to create a peaceful world where we can sleep in security and wake in happiness.'''

=== Sakharov Prize for Freedom of Thought Acceptance Speech (2013) ===
:&lt;small&gt; [http://www.nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/peace/laureates/1991/kyi-lecture_en.html# Sakharov Prize for Freedom of Thought Acceptance Speech by Aung San Suu Kyi, Strasbourg, 22 October 2013]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Andrew Mitchell and Aung San Suu Kyi meet schoolchildren in Burma (6357585947).jpg|thumb|right|Respect for yourself must be the foundation of respect for others. It is only if you respect yourself as a human being and you have faith in your ability to achieve what should be achieved that you will be able to help others.]]
[[File:The Blue Marble.jpg|thumb|right|Why is one of the most important words in any language. You have to know why the world is the way it is or you have to want to know. If you do not have this curiosity and if you do not have the intelligence in order to be able to express this curiosity in terms that others can understand than we will not be able to contribute to progress in our world.]]

* '''[[Freedom of thought]]''' ,…freedom of thought '''is essential to human progress. If we stop freedom of thought, we stop progress in our world. Because of this it is so important that we teach our children, our young people, the importance of freedom of thought. Freedom of thought begins with the right to ask questions.''' And this right our people in Burma have not had for so long that some of our young people do not quite know how to ask questions. '''One of the tasks we have set ourselves''', in my party, the National League for Democracy '''is to teach our people to ask questions, not to accept everything that is done to them without asking why.'''

* '''Why is one of the most important words in any language. You have to know why the world is the way it is or you have to want to know. If you do not have this curiosity and if you do not have the intelligence in order to be able to express this curiosity in terms that others can understand than we will not be able to contribute to progress in our world.''' How many of our people over these past few decades ever ask themselves why that had to submit to the authority of people who did not have the mandate of the general public. I do not think very many did. It was taken for granted that those who had power and authority could do exactly as they please. This was something that we could not accept.

* '''Solidarity is a beautiful word because it means that you reach out to those who are different from you and who have to cope with different circumstances because we recognize that we all share the same human needs and same values. It is the values that count most of all. The value of freedom of thought, the value of democratic practices, the value of respect for your fellow human beings.'''

* I have never claimed that democracy was a perfect system because we human beings are not perfect. We are not capable of producing a system that is perfect. But I think '''there is something nice and challenging about imperfection. If we were all perfect I think it would be a very boring world. But as it is because we have to cope everyday with our imperfections everyday can become a day of excitement. You wake up and say to yourself now which one of my many imperfections shall I work on today and that makes it very interesting and very challenging. But it is more important that we work on the imperfections of societies and of laws and of practices that truly hurt us as human beings, that erode the foundation of human dignity'''.

* '''We all have to be responsible for ourselves. I accept the concept that respect for yourself must be the foundation of respect for others. It is only if you respect yourself as a human being and you have faith in your ability to achieve what should be achieved that you will be able to help others.'''

* I’ve always said '''there’s no hope without endeavor. Hope has no meaning unless we are prepared to work to realize our hopes and dreams but in order to that we do need to have friends. We need those who believe in us. Friends are those who believe in us and who want to help us whatever it is that we are trying to achieve.'''

* '''Unless we are free from fear we will not be able to give our children the kind of future that we would like them to have.'''

* '''We have to all come together and create unity out of diversity that the destiny that [we ]build will be one that is right not just for now but for generations to come.'''

* '''Whether we are Europeans, whether we are Asians, whether we are Africans, or Australians, or Americans, we are all one because of our shared common human values based on the belief that we have the right to the birth right of every human being which is a dignified and secure existence.'''

* '''Security, freedom, dignity, if we had these three we could say that it has been worth while being born into this world''' and I would like all the young people of Burma and young people all over the world to be able to feel that it was right that they have been born into this world.

* '''I would not like young people to ask this question, why were we born at all. I want them to ask every kind of question but for them to question why they have been born to a situation which does not assure them of their right to dignity and to freedom from want and from fear''',  that is not the kind of question I would want anyone to ask.

== Quotes about Aung San Suu Kyi ==
[[File:Manifestion pour la liberation de aung san suu kyi au siege de l ONU a new york.jpg|thumb|Tyranny does not crumble by itself. Freedom must be demanded and defended, by those who have been denied it and by those who are already free.]]

* When the Burmese government tries to blame the victims for the crime, and say that Aung San Suu Kyi and her party are responsible for their own repression, I can only reply that much the same was once said about [[Mahatma Gandhi|Gandhi]] and [[Martin Luther King, Jr.|Martin Luther King]], [[Nelson Mandela]] and [[Vaclav Havel]]. &lt;br&gt;The world is not fooled.
** US Secretary of State [[Madeleine Albright]]

* Aung San Suu Kyi serves as a reminder to us all that the commitment to nonviolence against aggressive violence, although deflected, cannot be ignored.
** [[w:Oscar Arias|Oscar Arias]] Former President of Costa Rica Nobel Peace Prize Laureate, 1987

* ''What you've got they can't deny it. Can't sell it, can't buy it. Walk on, walk on. Stay safe tonight.''
** [[Bono]] in &quot;Walk On&quot;, a song dedicated to Aung San Suu Kyi

* As a tireless champion of human rights and democracy in Burma, Suu Kyi inspires countless people around the world who strive for peace, justice and freedom. &lt;br&gt;In the face of great hardship she has never wavered in her commitment to peaceful change.
** US President [[George W. Bush]]

* Your determination and courage continue to inspire friends of freedom around the world. &lt;br&gt;Like your courageous father, you symbolize the authentic aspirations of the Burmese people. History is on the side of freedom throughout the world and I remain confident that your cause will prevail.
** US President [[Bill Clinton|William J. Clinton]]

* For the past 25 years or so, Myanmar has been boiled down to a simple dilemma of the Lady against the generals. Free Aung San Suu Kyi, went the story, and all would be well. &lt;br /&gt; I remain an admirer, and can only imagine how any of us might change, fold or buckle under the kind of pressures she has been subject to. The woman who became, aged 70, state counsellor of Myanmar is not [[Nelson Mandela|Mandela]] – but who really is? There is a lesson here for the media, civil society, diplomats, [[Barack Obama]], [[Hillary Clinton]] and even [[U2]]. It is that we cannot afford to rely on simple narratives. To do so is to risk being unprepared for often messy realities. In order to truly secure freedom and democracy — and to protect human rights — we need a whole lot more than symbols.
** Alan Davis, in [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/sep/19/west-aung-san-suu-kyi-saint-nobel-rohingya &quot;The west wanted Aung San Suu Kyi to be a saint. It’s no surprise she is not&quot; in ''The Guardian'' (19 September 2017)]

*For the Rohingya Muslims of Myanmar, news of the fall of [[Aung San Suu Kyi]] after the military coup was bittersweet.  After all, no community had felt more betrayed by Myanmar’s civilian leader. When she came to power in 2015, the belief was that she would overturn decades of persecution and finally bring about peace and citizenship, following in the footsteps of her father, Gen Aung San.  Instead, under her watch the military carried out their most violent operation against the Rohingya, embarking on a genocidal campaign of rape, pillage and murder in Rakhine state in 2017 and driving almost a million people over the border to Bangladesh as refugees.  Standing before the [[w:International Court of Justice|International Courts of Justice]] in The Hague in the Netherlands in 2019, Aung San Suu Kyi, a former Nobel peace prize winner, defended the military action.
**‘We cannot hope for anything good’: Myanmar coup sparks despair for Rohingya, by Hannah Ellis-Petersen and Shaikh Azizur Rahman, ''The Guardian'', (14 Feb 2021)

* Any person in any country who believes in the power of good, anyone who believes in justice, will stand by Aung San Suu Kyi. Because Aung San Suu Kyi is one of the non-violent, compassionate leaders of our time.
** [[w:José Ramos-Horta|José Ramos-Horta]], 1996 Nobel Peace Prize Laureate

* Let the people decide, I've got nothing to hide, I've done nothing wrong, So why've I been here so long?
** [[w:Damien Rice|Damien Rice]] in &quot;Unplayed Piano&quot;, a song dedicated to Aung San Suu Kyi

* With her courage and her high ideals, Aung San Suu Kyi brings out something of the best in us. We feel we need precisely her sort of person in order to retain our faith in the future. &lt;br&gt;That is what gives her such power as a symbol, and that is why any ill-treatment of her feels like a violation of what we have most at heart.
** [[w:Francis Sejersted|Francis Sejersted]], Chairman of the Nobel Commitee, Nobel Presentation Speech, 1991

* '''Suu Kyi now is a leader of a country. She is not any more a [[human rights]] activist'''. She is a leader and, as a leader, she has to take care of many things, For example, the relationship with the Myanmar military, which is very important.
** [[w:Ronen Gilor|Ronen Gilor]], [https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/.premium-israel-s-shameful-role-in-myanmar-s-genocidal-campaign-against-the-rohingya-1.8256822 Israel’s Shameful Role in Myanmar’s Genocidal Campaign Against the Rohingya], ''Haaretz''

[[File:Rohingya refugees entering Bangladesh after being driven out of Myanmar, 2017.JPG|thumb|Suu Kyi now is a leader of a country. She is not any more a [[human rights]] activist. ~ Ronen Gilor]]
* Suu Kyi's struggle is one of the most extraordinary examples of civil courage in Asia in recent decades. She has become an important symbol in the struggle against oppression.&lt;br&gt;In awarding the Nobel Peace Prize for 1991 to Aung San Suu Kyi, the Norwegian Nobel Committee wishes to honour this woman for her unflagging efforts and to show its support for the many people throughout the world who are striving to attain democracy, human rights and ethnic conciliation by peaceful means.
** The Norwegian Nobel Committee (1991)

* In physical stature she is petite and elegant, but in moral stature she is a giant. Big men are scared of her. Armed to the teeth and they still run scared.
** Archbishop [[Desmond Tutu]], 1984 Nobel Peace Prize Laureate

* We wish to use this opportunity, on the occasion of Aung San Suu Kyi's 60th birthday, to reaffirm our solidarity with the people of Burma and their legitimate struggle for democracy, human rights and civilian rule.&lt;br&gt;Our sister Laureate has spent almost 15 years under house arrest. Her determination and courage inspire us. We offer to her our heartfelt congratulations on this auspicious day. &lt;br&gt;Many of us have witnessed sweeping political changes in our own countries. We know that change will come to Burma, too. The illegal military junta that rules through force and fear will yield to the power of justice. The people of Burma will control their destiny again. But we also know from experience that tyranny does not crumble by itself. Freedom must be demanded and defended, by those who have been denied it and by those who are already free.
** [http://www.burmacampaign.org.uk/pm/weblog.php?id=P167 Open letter by 12 Nobel Laureates (15 June 2005)]

* '''When Aung San Suu Kyi was released, we punched the air.''' &lt;br /&gt; When she came to Dublin to thank [[Ireland]] and [[Amnesty International]], we Irish could not have been more proud. &lt;br /&gt; When her party the NLD won a landslide in the elections and she stood her ground to become de-facto head of the country, an impossible journey seemed to be reaching its destination. We wanted to breathe a sigh of relief, but instead held our breath. She had built her reputation on her refusal to compromise her beliefs (as well as on the personal sacrifice that entailed), but forming a government requires a certain amount of pragmatism.  We feared the military's brutality would be quick to show itself again if she overstepped the mark, and while hopeful for progress, we wondered if we would find ourselves once again campaigning for her release. &lt;br /&gt; But what has happened this year, and in particular these past months – this, we never imagined. &lt;br /&gt; Who could have predicted that if [[w:2017 Rohingya persecution in Myanmar|more than 600,000 people were fleeing from a brutal army]] for fear of their lives, the woman who many of us believed would have the clearest and loudest voice on the crisis would go quiet. For these atrocities against the [[w:Rohingya people|Rohingya people]] to be happening on her watch blows our minds and breaks our hearts. … the violence and terror being visited on the Rohingya people are appalling atrocities and must stop. 
** [[U2]], in [http://www.u2.com/news/title/this-we-never-imagined 'THIS, WE NEVER IMAGINED…' at ''U2.com'' (11 Nov 2017)]

*Aung San Suu Kyi's silence is starting to look a lot like assent. As [[Martin Luther King]] said: &quot;The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people but the silence over that by the good people.&quot; The time has long passed for her to stand up and speak out. &lt;br /&gt; We know that Aung San Suu Kyi has in front of her real [[complexities]] that the outside world cannot understand — but nor should we have to. The complexity of the situation in Myanmar she inherited from her father did not sway her to compromise her ideals back in 1998, nor should it now.  At some point, a fragile balancing act becomes a Faustian pact. &lt;br /&gt; '''We also believe we can't direct our anger solely in her direction. That plays right into the hands of those who are carrying out the violence.''' [[w: Min Aung Hlaing|Min Aung Hlaing]] is not a widely recognised name outside Myanmar — it should be. This man is the Commander General in Chief of the Defence Services who answers to no-one when a security threat is declared.  '''While this in no way excuses her silence, Aung San Suu Kyi has no control, constitutional or otherwise, over his actions, and it is he who has authorised and overseen the terrorization of the Rohingya people under the guise of protecting Myanmar from terrorism. Condemning her and ignoring him is a mistake.''' If this horror of human rights abuses is to stop, and if the long-term conditions for resettlement of the Rohingya people are to ever occur, General Min Aung Hlaing and his military must be just as much the focus of international action and pressure as Aung San Suu Kyi and her civilian government.
** [[U2]], in [http://www.u2.com/news/title/this-we-never-imagined 'THIS, WE NEVER IMAGINED…' at ''U2.com'' (11 Nov 2017)]

*When I heard Aung San Suu Kyi's address to both houses of Britian's Parliament in Westminster hall last week, what impressed me was the clarity with which she spelt out her vision for her country. But, throughout her speech, something kept bothering me and by the time she finished, I discovered what it was. What bothered me was that I could not think of a single Indian leader who could make such a speech. The Indian political landscape today has become a desert in which only the stunted progeny of stunted political leaders bloom. We need our political parties to throw up real leaders and we need a political discourse in which real political problems are discussed.
**Tavleen Singh : Jun 24 2012, Not ‘Secularism’ again [http://archive.indianexpress.com/news/not--secularism--again/965967/]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}
* [http://www.dassk.org/ Homepage at dassk.org]
* [http://www.dassk.org/contents.php?id=539 Burma's Iron 'Aunty']
* [http://www.thecommunity.com/assk/ Aung San Suu Kyi at TheCommunity.com]
* [http://www.burmacampaign.org.uk The Burma Campaign UK Home Page]
* [http://www.parade.com/articles/editions/1997/edition_01-19-1997/aung-san-suu-kyi.html?index=2 The Voice of Her People: Aung San Suu Kyi]
* [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/1950505.stm BBC Profile]
* [http://www.nobel.se/peace/laureates/1991/press.html Nobel Prize press release (1991)]
* [http://homepages.tesco.net/~ghoutman/index.html ''Burmese Crisis Politics : Aung San Suu Kyi and the National League for Democracy'' (1999) by Gustaaf Houtman]
* [http://archive.salon.com/people/bc/2001/02/27/suu_kyi/print.html &quot;Aung San Suu Kyi&quot; at Salon.com (27 February 2001)]


{{DEFAULTSORT:Aung San Suu Kyi}}
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[[Category:Social activists]]
[[Category:Human rights activists]]
[[Category:Nobel Peace Prize laureates]]
[[Category:1945 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Pacifists]]
[[Category:Diplomats]]
[[Category:Buddhists from Myanmar]]
[[Category:Prisoners]]
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'''''[[w:Robin Hood (1973 film)|Robin Hood]]''''' is an animated version of the English legend using the animals for the characters, was released by the [[w:Walt Disney Pictures|Disney Studios]] on November 8, [[w:1973 in film|1973]]. For instance, the main character in this well-known adaptation is a fox, as is his lover Maid Marian; his foe, Prince John, is a lion, and has a serpent sidekick named Sir Hiss.
:Directed by [[w:Wolfgang Reitherman|Wolfgang Reitherman]]. Produced by [[w:Wolfgang Reitherman|Wolfgang Reitherman]]. Written by [[w:Larry Clemmons|Larry Clemmons]] and [[w:Ken Anderson (movie writer)|Ken Anderson]]
{{center|'''What ''really'' happened...''' &lt;small&gt;[[#taglines|Taglines]]&lt;/small&gt;}}

== Little John ==
* ''He stands alone&lt;br&gt;On a giant throne,&lt;br&gt;Pretending he's the King.&lt;br&gt;A little tyke&lt;br&gt;Who's rather like&lt;br&gt;A puppet on a string!&lt;br&gt;And he throws an angry tantrum if he cannot have his way,&lt;br&gt;And then he calls for Mom,&lt;br&gt;While he's sucking his thumb&lt;br&gt;You see, he doesn't wanna play.&lt;br&gt;Too late to be known as John the First,&lt;br&gt;He's sure to be known as John the Worst.&lt;br&gt;A pox on that Phony King of England!''

* ''While he taxes us to pieces and he robs us of our bread&lt;br&gt;King Richard's crown&lt;br&gt;Keeps slipping down&lt;br&gt;Around that pointed head&lt;br&gt;Ah, but while there is a merry man in Robin's wily pack&lt;br&gt;We'll find a way&lt;br&gt;To make him pay&lt;br&gt;And steal our money back.&lt;br&gt;A minute before he knows we're there,&lt;br&gt;Old Rob'll snatch his underwear...''

* ''The breezy and uneasy king of England!&lt;br&gt;The snivellin' grovellin',&lt;br&gt;Measly weasly,&lt;br&gt;Blabberin' jabberin',&lt;br&gt;Gibberin' jabberin',&lt;br&gt;Blunderin' plunderin',&lt;br&gt;Wheelin' dealin',&lt;br&gt;Prince John, that phony King of England!&lt;br&gt;Yeah!''

== Other ==
:'''Alan A'Dale''': ''[opening lines]'' Y'know, there's been a heap o' legends and tall tales about Robin Hood. All different too. Well, we folks in the animal kingdom have our own version. It's the story of what ''really'' happened in Sherwood Forest...

== Dialogue ==
:'''Little John''': You know somethin', Robin? You're taking too many chances.
:'''Robin Hood''': Chances? You must be joking! That was just a bit of a lark, Little John.
:'''Little John''': Yeah? Take a look at your hat. That's not a candle on a cake.
:'''Robin Hood''': ''[regarding the arrow in his hat]'' Hello! This one almost had my name on it, didn't it? They're getting better, you know. You've got to admit it! They are getting better.
:''[Little John breaks the arrow]''
:'''Little John''': Huh, yeah, the next time that sheriff will probably have a rope around our necks! ''[gags and squeeze his neck as he choke himself]'' Pretty hard to laugh hanging there, Rob!
:'''Robin Hood''': Ha! The Sheriff and his whole posse couldn't lift you off the ground. En garde!
:''[Robin Hood shoots the arrow to Little John's hat in the tree like a target as he ducks]''
:'''Little John''': Hey, watch it, Rob. That's the only hat I've got.
:'''Robin Hood''': ''[laying down in the tree]'' Oh, come along. You worry too much, old boy.
:'''Little John''': You know somethin', Robin? I was just wonderin'. Are we good guys or bad guys? You know, I mean, uh, our robbin' the rich to feed the poor.
:'''Robin Hood''': &quot;Rob&quot;? Tsk, tsk, tsk. That's a naughty word. We never rob. We just... sort of borrow a bit from those who can afford it.
:'''Little John''': Borrow? Huh. Boy, are we in debt.
 
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Little John''': Aw, how about that for luck? It's only a circus! A peanut operation!
:'''Robin Hood''': Peanuts? Why, you dunce, that's the royal coach! It's Prince John himself!
:'''Little John''': The prince? Wait a minute, there's a law against robbing royalty. I'll catch you later.
:'''Robin Hood''': What? And miss this chance to perform before royalty?
:'''Little John''': ''[groan]'' Well - here we go again...

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mother Rabbit''': Oh, you have made his birthday a wonderful one. How can I ever thank you?
:'''Robin Hood''': I only wish I could do more. ''[hands her a small bag of gold]'' Here. And keep your chin up. Soon there'll be happiness in Nottingham again, you'll see.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Prince John''': One more hiss out of you, eh, er, uh, Hiss, and you are ''walking'' to Nottingham.
:'''Hiss''': ''[mutters]'' Snakes don't walk, they slither. Hmph. So there.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Prince John raises his mirror to hit Hiss on the head]''
:'''Hiss''': Ah, ah, ah! 7 years bad...''[the prince hits him, smashing the mirror]'' Luck. That's what it is. Besides, you broke your mother's mirror.
:'''Prince John''': ''[screams]'' Mummy! ''[sucks thumb]'' I've got a dirty thumb.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Hiss''': And you...who might you be, sssir?
:'''Little John''': I am Sir Reginald, Duke of Chutney. ''[stuffs Hiss' hat over his mouth]'' And don't stick your tongue out at me, kid. ''[to the prince]'' And now, your mightiness, allow me to lay some protocol on you. ''[stoops to kiss Prince John's hand]''
:'''Prince John''': No, no, no, forgive me, but I lose more jewels that way. Please sit down.
:'''Little John''': ''[sits on Hiss]'' Thanks, PJ, you can't get a better seat than this, the royal box...hey...what...who? ''[Pulling out Hiss]'' Oh, uh, excuse me, Buster.
:'''Hiss''': Buster?! You, sir, have taken my seat!
:'''Prince John''': ''[laughs]'' Hiss, with you around, who needs a court jester?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Little John''': You heard his mightiness! Move it, Creepy, get lost. Begone, long one.
:'''Hiss''': What cheek. Creepy, Buster, Long One? Who does that dopey duke think he is?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin Hood''': ''[dressed as gypsy]'' Oo-de-lally! Oo-de-lally! Fortune tellers!
:'''Little John''': ''[also dressed as gypsy]'' Fortunes forecast, lucky charms!
:'''Robin Hood''': Catch the dope, with your horoscope!
:'''Prince John''': Fortune tellers, how droll. Stop the coach!
:'''Hiss''': Sssire, sire, they may be bandits.
:'''Prince John''': Oh, poppycock! Female bandits? What next...rubbish... ''[to Robin Hood and Little John]'' My dear ladies, you have my permission to kiss the royal hands, whichever you like... first.
:'''Robin Hood''': Oh, how gracious - ''[kisses hand and removes large ring]'' - and generous.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Prince John''': I sentence you to sudden, instant, and even immediate death!
:'''Maid Marian''': Oh, no! Please. Please sire. I beg of you to spare his life, please have mercy.
:'''Prince John''': My dear emotional lady, why should I?
:'''Maid Marian''': Because I love him, your highness.
:'''Prince John''': Love him? And does this prisoner return your love?
:'''Robin Hood''': Marian my daring, I love you more than life itself.
:'''Prince John''': ''[sincerely]'' Young love, your pleads have not fallen upon a heart of stone. ''[Tone changes to fierce and determined]'' But traitors to the crown MUST DIE!
:'''Robin Hood''': ''[cutting him off]'' Traitor to the crown? That crown belongs to King Richard! LONG LIVE KING RICHARD!
:'''Crowd''': LONG LIVE KING RICHARD!
:'''Prince John''': ''[gives the crowd a dirty look, angrily throwing a childish tantrum]'' ENOUGH! I AM KING! '''KING!''' KING! Ah! '''''OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!'''''
:''[The drums begins to sacrifice, the furiously Rhino Guard using the executioner to behead Robin Hood. The crowd really shocking about him!]''
:'''Maid Marian''': ''[sniffing]'' Oh, no!
:'''Prince John''': ''[suddenly, Little John tries to stop him]'' STOP! Executioner, stop! Hold your axe!
:'''Little Hold''': ''[threatening him with a dagger]'' Okay, big shot, now tell him to untie my buddy, or I'll--
:'''Prince John''': Sheriff, release my buddy--! I mean, release the prisoner!
:'''Sheriff''': ''[shocked]'' Unite the prisoner?
:'''Lady Clucky''': You heard what he said, bushel britches!
:'''Prince John''': Sheriff, I make the rules! And since I'm head man. ''[to Little John]'' Not so hard, you mean thing. ''[back to the Sheriff]'' Let him go, for heaven sakes! LET HIM GO!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin Hood''': And for our honeymoon? England?
:'''Maid Marian''': Yes!
:'''Robin Hood''': Normandy?
:'''Maid Marian''': Yes!
:'''Robin Hood''': Sunny Spain?
:'''Maid Marian''': Oh, why not?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Lady Cluck''': Down with that scurrrrvy Prince John!
:'''Little John''': Yeah!!! ''[sings]'' ''Oh, the world will sing''
:''Of an English king''
:''A thousand years from now,''
:''And not because''
:''He passed some laws''
:''Or had that lofty brow.''
:''While bonny good King Richard leads the great crusade he's on,''
:''We'll all have to slave away for that good-for-nothing John!''
:''Incredible as he is inept,''
:''Whenever the history books are kept''
:''They'll call him the Phony King of England!''
:'''Friar Tuck''': ''A pox on the Phony King of England!''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[the Sheriff of Nottingham enters the castle, he's collect all the taxes of them to Sir Hiss of &quot;Keeper of the Royal Treasure&quot;.]''
:'''Sheriff''': ''[singing]'' ''♪ He throws an angry tantrum if he cannot have way. He calls for Mom and sucks his thumb and doesn't want to play. Too late to be known as John the First, he's sure to be known as John the Worst! ♪'' ''[to Hiss]'' Am I right?
:'''Hiss''': ''[chuckles]'' That's P.J to a &quot;T&quot;. Let me try, let me try. ''[lowers his voice; singing mocking Sheriff]'' ''♪ Too late to be known as John the First, he's sure to be known as John the Worst! ♪'' ''[sees an angry Prince John peeking behind a door, with a glass jug of wine in his hand, shrivels, gulps]'' The fabulous, marvelous, merciful, chivalrous!
:'''Sheriff''': ''[seriously]'' Oh, you've got it all wrong, Hiss. The sniveling, groveling, measly, weaseling.
:'''Prince John''': ENOUGH!
:''[Prince John throws the glass of jug at the Sheriff, but it hits the wall and the wine rains down on him]''
:'''Sheriff''': But, but, sire, it's a big hit. The whole village is singin' it.
:'''Prince John''': ''[starting getting attention]'' Oh, they are, are they? Well, they'll be singing a different tune. Double the taxes! Triple the taxes! ''[grabs Sir Hiss by the neck; angrily staring forward at the Sheriff]'' SQUEEZE every last drop out of those insolent... ''[smiling]'' ...musical peasants!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[the Sheriff of Nottingham has just taken the only coin out of the church's Poor Box]''
:'''Friar Tuck''': Now, just a minute, Sheriff! Th-th-th-that's the Poor Box!
:'''Sheriff''': It sure is, and I'll take it for poor Prince John. ''[chuckles]'' Every little bit helps.
:'''Female Church Mouse''': Ooh, you put that back!
:'''Sheriff''': And His Majesty also blesses you, little sister.
:'''Friar Tuck''': You thieving scoundrel!
:'''Sheriff''': ''[reasonably]'' Now, take it easy, Friar, I'm just doing my duty.
:'''Friar Tuck''': Collecting taxes for that arrogant, greedy, ruthless, no-good Prince John?!
:'''Sheriff''': ''[starting to lose patience]'' Listen, Friar, you're mighty preachy and you're gonna preach your neck right into a hangman's noose.
:'''Friar Tuck''': GET OUTTA MY CHURCH!! ''[pushes the Sheriff out]'' Out! Out! Out! Out! ''[Attacking the Sheriff with a stick]'' You want taxes? I'll give you taxes!
:'''Male Church Mouse''': Give it to him! Give it to him, Friar!
:''[Trigger blinds Friar Tuck with the hood of his coat and the Sheriff puts his head in a shackle]''
:'''Sheriff''': You're under arrest for high treason to the crown!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Prince John and Hiss are at the castle, not yourself today]''
:'''Hiss''': ''[clear his throat]'' Sire, if I may-- may venture an opinion, you're not your usual cheerful, genial self today. ''[Prince John scowls at him as he brief his moment]'' I-I-I know, I know! You haven't counted your money for your days, hmm? It always makes you so happy. ''[he lift the money taxes up and down of Prince John's chair; clear his throat]'' Sire, taxes are pouring in, the jail is full. And, oh, I have good news, sire... Friar Tuck is in jail!
:'''Prince John''': ''[throwing money everywhere; angrily]'' FRIAR TUCK?! It's ROBIN HOOD I want, you idiot! Oh, I'd give all my gold if I could just get my hands on-- ''[pauses, turning to Hiss]'' Did you say Friar Tuck?
:'''Hiss''': Did I? Y-y-yes, I did.
:'''Prince John''': Ah! Hiss, I have it! I'll use that fat friar as bait to trap Robin Hood.
:'''Hiss''': Another trap?
:'''Prince John''': Yes, you stupid serpent. Friar Tuck will be led to the gallows at the village square, don't you see.
:'''Hiss''': ''[very shocked]'' B-B-But, sire! Hang Friar Tuck?! A man of the church?!
:'''Prince John''': Yes, my reluctant reptile, and when our elusive hero tries to rescue the corpulent cleric... ''[laughs evilly]'' ...my men will be ready. ''[laughs evilly]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Friar Tuck''': Oh, for heaven's sake, son! You're no outlaw! Why, some day you'll be called a great hero!
:'''Robin Hood''': A hero? You hear that, Johnny? We've just been pardoned!
:'''Little John''': That's a gas, we ain't even been arrested yet!

== Taglines ==
* What ''really'' happened…
* Meet Robin Hood and his Merry Men-''agerie''!
* Join the Merriest Men''agerie'' in the world's best-loved legend.

== Cast ==
*[[w:Robin Hood|Robin Hood]], a [[w:Fox|fox]]—voice: [[w:Brian Bedford|Brian Bedford]]
*[[w:Maid Marian|Maid Marian]], a [[w:Fox|vixen]]—voice: [[w:Monica Evans|Monica Evans]]
*[[w:Little John|Little John]], a [[w:Bear|bear]]—voice: [[w:Phil Harris|Phil Harris]]
*[[w:John, King of England#Depictions in fiction|Prince John]], a [[w:Lion|lion]]—voice: [[Peter Ustinov]]
*Sir Hiss, a [[w:Snake|snake]]—voice: [[w:Terry-Thomas|Terry-Thomas]]
*[[w:Sheriff of Nottingham|Sheriff of Nottingham]], a [[w:Wolf|wolf]]—voice: [[w:Pat Buttram|Pat Buttram]]
*[[w:Friar Tuck|Friar Tuck]], a [[w:Badger|badger]]—voice: [[w:Andy Devine|Andy Devine]]
*Lady Kluck, a [[w:Chicken|chicken]]—voice: [[w:Carole Shelley|Carole Shelley]]
*[[w:Alan-a-Dale|Alan-a-Dale]], a [[w:Rooster|rooster]]—voice: [[w:Roger Miller|Roger Miller]]
*The Captain of the Guard, a [[w:Crocodile|crocodile]]—voice: [[w:Candy Candido|Candy Candido]]

==See also==
* ''[[Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves]]''

==External links==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}
*{{Commonscat-inline}}
*{{IMDb title|0070608}}
[[Category:1973 films]]
[[Category:1970s American animated films]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]
[[Category:Films about animals]]
[[Category:Films directed by Wolfgang Reitherman]]
[[Category:Films about foxes]]
[[Category:Vigilante films]]
[[Category:Films about royalty]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>The Powerpuff Girls</title>
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      <parentid>3157707</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T03:19:38Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>72.90.183.138</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Episobe 12B.Meet the Beat-Alls */</comment>
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      <text bytes="137804" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Powerpuff Girls|The Powerpuff Girls]]''''' is an American animated show created by Craig McCracken.  It follows the adventures of Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup, three little girls literally created from sugar, spice and everything nice. Their creator and father, Professor Utonium, adds Chemical X by mistake, giving the girls superpowers. They use their gifts to save the city of Townsville.

== Season 1 ==
8 Episodes by October 18, 1998 - January 1, 1999

=== Episode 1A.Monkey See, Doggy Do ===
:'''Blossom''': Gee, I sure hope we can find a trail.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After changing everyone in Townsville into dogs with the Anubis Head]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': All right, you flea-bitten curs! Heel! I, Mojo Jojo, am your master, and you shall obey my commands like the dogs you are! Because I am your master, it is I who you will obey! Obeying commands is what you will do! I will give you commands, and you will obey them!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom''': Not so fast...
:'''Buttercup''': Mojo...
:'''Bubbles''': Jojo!
:''[The Girls are changed into dogs]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Too late, Powerpuffs! Or should I say, &quot;Power-pups&quot;?

===Episode 1B.Mommy Fearest===
:'''Ima Goodlady''': I thought I grounded you, brats! I'm getting the professor!
:'''Blossom''': We're afraid not, Ima. He's conveniently stepped out.
:'''Buttercup''': And we know you're not such a good lady at all.
:'''Bubbles''': What's in the bag, Sedusa?!? ''(pulls out the wig, revealing that Ima is Sedusa in disguise)''
:'''Narrator''': SEDUSA?!? Who woulda guessed it?
:'''Sedusa''': ''(as Bubbles tries to grab the bag)'' Let go!
:''(The bag opens to reveal the mayor's jewels)''
:'''Bubbles''': Well, What do you know? The mayor's jewels. Nice try, Sedusa, But the game's over!
:'''Sedusa''': ''(in her evil tone)'' HA! Never! ''(in sweet tone)'' I'll just sweet talk that sap with the professor. He'll believe in me ''(in her evil tone)'' AND YOU THREE BUG-EYED CREEPS WILL BE GROUNDED FOREVER! ''(laughs evilly)''
:'''Bubbles''': ''(angrily)'' GROUND THIS!!!
:''(The girls attacked Sedusa)''
:'''Professor''': Oh Girls, I am back from the the stooooOOORE! ''(drops his groceries)'' What's going on here?!
:'''Sedusa''': ''(fake sobbing)'' Oh, Professor. Thank goodness you're back! The girls went just crazy and they all jumped on me when I came home.
:'''Blossom''': ''(angrily)'' No, Professor! It's not true!
:'''Buttercup''': She's really Sedusa!
:'''Bubbles''': And she grounded us so she can make off with the mayor's jewels!
:'''Sedusa''': LIARS! ''(to the Professor, fake whining)'' Professor, Sweetie, you believe me, don't you? Please.. help me. Please.
:''(Professor grabs Sedusa's arms and the girls think they are getting grounded again)''
:'''Professor''': ''(to the Girls)'' Girls, call the police. ''(the girls perked up)'' That crook is not going to deceive us anymore.
:'''Powerpuff Girls''' Yay!

===Episode 4A.Buttercrush===
:'''Ace''': Oh, Powerpuff Girls. Please forgive my foolish friend for his foolish act, for he did not know what he was doing. And I know deep inside my heart that he would never do anything like that ever again. What do you say, girls? Will you forgive him? Will you? Please?
:'''Blossom''': Okay.
:'''Ace''': Thank you. ''[winks at Buttercup]''

===Episode 5A.Boogie Frights===
:''[Being chased by Boogie Man]''
:'''Bubbles''': Buttercup? Blossom? Oh, no! I - I can't do it alone! ''[Crying]''
:'''Professor Utonium:''' ''[in Bubbles' memory]'' ''Bubbles, if you can just face your fears, then I know you can find the courage to beat him.''
----
:''[At the end of the episode]''
:'''Narrator''': So once again, the day is saved!
:''[The Girls appear, sleeping in bed]''
:'''Narrator''': ''[snickers]'' Get it? The ''day'' was saved? Because it was going to be eternal night! They saved the day, literally! ''[laughs]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[wakes up as Buttercup glares through one eye]'' Shh!
:''[Both she and Buttercup go back to sleep; through all this, Bubbles is not disturbed one bit.]''
:'''Narrator''': ''[voice sinks to a whisper]'' Oh, sorry. Thanks to the Powerpuff Girls. Goodnight, everybody.

===Episode 5B.Abracadaver===
:'''Blossom''': Excuse me, Mr. Zombie, sir?
:'''Abracadaver''': Wha—?
:'''Blossom''': Could you stop destroying Townsville with your evil zombie magic?
:'''Bubbles, Buttercup''': Please?
:'''Abracadaver''': ''[gasps upon seeing Blossom]'' You! You're that girl! ''[he imagines her as the girl from long ago]'' Girl with bear!
:'''Blossom''': Huh?
:'''Abracadaver''': YOU RUINED AL LUSION! YOU MAKE THEM LAUGH AT ME, '''''BUT NOW, REVENGE!!'''''

===Episode 6A.Telephonies ===
:'''Narrator''': The city of Townsville! And what a beautiful city she is, full of- ''[a phone rings]'' Oh, excuse me. ''[answers phone]'' Uh, hello?
:'''Ace''': ''[over phone]'' Yeah, listen, jerkface, you good-for-nothin' toad!
:'''Narrator''': You can't talk to me like that!
:'''Ace''': ''[over phone]'' How 'bout this? I think you stink! I can smell ya over the phone!
:'''Narrator''': Why I oughta...who is this! ''[Ace hangs up]'' Hello? Hello?! ''[turns over to the Gangreen Gang who laugh after making prank calls]'' Oh. The Gangreen Gang. Why, you crank-calling, good-for-nothings! When I get my hands on you, I'll...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The Girls break into Mojo Jojo's lair and beat him up]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': WHAT IS THE MEANING OF- ''[they shove the back of his chair down onto him, then throw him against the wall]''
:'''Blossom''': Don't play dumb. We know you've got some evil plot underway.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': What are you talking about?
:'''Buttercup''': Oh, like you don't have a giant robot ready to smash Townsville!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No.
:'''Blossom''': ''[surprised]'' No diabolical plans to destroy the world?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No.
:'''Bubbles''': ''[scared]'' Turning everyone into zombies to scare people?!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh, for crying out loud, NO! I have no intentions of committing any crimes...today.
:'''Blossom''': Then what were you doing before we got here?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Sleeping!
:'''Buttercup''': Before that?!
:'''Mojo''': Reading the paper!
:'''Blossom''': ''[deflated]'' Oh. ''[long pause]'' Well...you better behave yourself, or we'll be back!
:'''Mojo''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh goodness, I'd better not snore.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Fuzzy was relaxing in the bathtub while playing his banjo, when he hears the Powerpuff Girls approaching for the fight]''
:'''Blossom''': Okay, Fuzzy. Prepare to get stomped!
:''[Fuzzy is splashed all over]''
:'''Buttercup''': This is for anything you broke! ''[decks him]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[pulling his antennae]'' This is for anyone you hurt!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[raising the banjo over her head]'' And this is for taking a bath! ''[swings and hits Fuzzy on the head with the banjo, which causes him to sink in the bathtub]''
:'''Buttercup''': ''[realizes]'' Uh-oh. I think maybe he was just taking a bath.
:'''Bubbles''': Fuzzy...?
:'''Blossom''': Um...we didn't mean to... ''[then Fuzzy rises from the bath, towering above them and beet red with anger. They look up at him and smile nervously with a giggle]'' I guess you weren't going crazy. You were just taking a bath.
:''[All three giggle and inch away to one side before dashing off at top speed]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Girls have just broken into Him's lair to find him doing aerobics]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Hello, girls. What a pleasant surprise. Ooh, what's the occasion?
:'''Blossom''': Uh, we were wondering...
:'''Him''': How I stay so fit? Well, now you know.
:'''Blossom''': Uh, no, actually. Did you do anything evil today?
:'''Him''': No, not today. Why do you ask?
:'''Blossom''': No reason, just wondering.
:'''Him''': This figure doesn't come easy, you know. I took a little time off to get into shape.
:'''Blossom''': So, you haven't been...?
:'''Him''': Nope.
:'''Blossom''': ''[chuckling nervously]'' Okay, I guess we'll see you later.
:'''Him''': I guess you will.
:'''Blossom''': Okay, bye, then.
:''[The Girls fly off]''
:'''Him''': Goodbye, girls. Come back soon. Goodbye... ''[picks up the phone and puts it to his left ear]''
:''[Cut to Mojo, who is on the call with Fuzzy]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': All right, alright, Fuzzy, I heard you the first time...I know. ''[the line beeps]'' I kn...hold on, Fuzzy. There's someone on the other line.
:'''Him''': ''[to Mojo Jojo on the phone; demonic voice]'' '''Mojo! It's me'''... ''[effeminate voice]'' Him!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Yes, sir! What is it?
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''You won't believe what just happened.'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The Powerpuff Girls just broke in unexpected?
:'''Him''': '''WHAT?! How did you know?'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The same thing happened to me and Fuzzy Lumpkins. He's on the other line.
:'''Him''': '''Well, put him on!'''
:''[Mojo puts Fuzzy on the line]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': ''[shaking with fury]'' BUSHWHACKED IN MY BIRTHDAY SUIT!!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''This is an outrage!'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': You are right. We're all citizens! Evil citizens, but citizens nonetheless!
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Birthday suit!! ''[cries]''
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''We should complain!'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': But to whom?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The phone rings]''
:'''Big Billy''': ''[answers the phone]'' Hello?
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''I demand to speak with the Mayor!'''
:'''Big Billy''': He's not here right now. Can I take a massage?
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''Do you know when he'll be back?'''
:'''Big Billy''': Uh...I don't know. See, Grubber tricked the Mayor into leaving so we could break in and use the Powerpuff hotline to make crank calls.
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''Huh?!''' ''[effeminate voice]'' You don't say. Well, to whom might I be speaking?
:'''Big Billy''': Uh, this is Billy.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Billy who?
:'''Big Billy''': Big Billy from the Gangreen Gang. Who is this? ''[Him hangs up the phone]'' Hello?
:''[A crash suddenly shakes the room, snapping the Gangreen Gang awake. Him, Mojo Jojo, and Fuzzy Lumpkins have come in, looking enraged]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' So! You guys like to make ''[demonic voice]'' '''crank calls!'''
:''[Him, Mojo, and Fuzzy proceed to beat up the Gangreen Gang]''
:'''Mayor''': ''[mumbling to himself]'' Oh, of all the foolishness. Cut the ribbon, pshaw! ''[stops short and looks on in surprise]'' Oh, my!
:''[There was the battle royal going on in his office, and the mayor tiptoes to the hotline to make a call]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The girls are sleeping at night, when the hotline buzzes]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[picks up the receiver]'' Hello?
:'''Mayor''': ''[over the hotline]'' Powerpuff Girls! You're not gonna believe this! The Gangreen Gang, Mojo Jojo, Fuzzy Lumpkins and Him are fighting right here in my office!
:'''Blossom''': ''[hangs up]'' Yeah, right, Mayor, very funny. ''[tucks herself back in bed]''
:''[The hotline buzzes again, which annoys the girls. Then Buttercup uses her laser eyes to destroy the hotline, before going back to bed]''
:'''Girls''': Goodnight, Professor!
:''[But the professor is still on hold since the beginning of an episode]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Narrator''': So once again the day is saved! Thanks to...Mojo?...Fuzzy?...and Him?

===Episode 6B.Tough Love  ===
:'''Narrator''': Those little scamps are so adorable! How we just love the Powerpuff Girls!
:''[Him is in a bathtub, looking angry]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Oh, how I ''[demonic]'' '''HATE THE POWERPUFF GIRLS!'''
:'''Narrator''': Hate the Powerpuff Girls?! Who could hate the...? Oh, no. Please don't let it be...Him!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Oh, Powerpuff Girls, save us! Oh, Powerpuff Girls, we need you! Oh, Powerpuff Girls, we ''love'' you! ''[demonic]'' '''Powerpuff Girls! Powerpuff Girls!! POWERPUFF GIRLS!!!''' ''[looks at a rubber ducky; effeminate]'' Oh, Mr. Quackers, am I the only one who ''[demonic]'' '''hates those''' ''[effeminate]'' miserable little brats? ''[squeaks his ducky]'' You hate them, too? Oh, I knew I could count on you! But how can I possibly beat them with all that ''[demonic]'' '''love surrounding them?!''' ''[squeaks his ducky; effeminate]'' What's that you say? ''[squeaks his ducky again]'' Yes! ''[demonic]'' '''That's brilliant!''' ''[effeminate]'' Oh, Mr. Quackers, you are ''so'' smart. Quite a positively evil scheme you've hatched. And I'll finally be rid of those girls... ''[demonic]'' '''FOREVER!!'''

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:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Poor, ususpecting Townsville, all snug in your beds. Unaware of the evil that lurks above your heads. And so, with a flick of my wrist and a twirl of my claw, I'll be rid of those girls once and ''[demonic]'' '''for all.'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:''[Ms. Keane and the students of Pokey Oaks Kindergarten are throwing things at the girls]''
:'''Blossom''': I've heard of class struggles, but this is ridiculous.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Buttercup''': Wow, this has turned out to be one freaky day.
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah. Something strange is going on.
:'''Narrator''': ''[affected by Him's evil gas and yelling]'' Aw, for crying out loud, WOULD YOU THREE SHUT UP FOR ONCE?! Always griping and moaning about something! Sheesh, you give me a headache!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:''[All the citizens of Townsville, all affected by Him's evil gas, are cornering the Powerpuff Girls, preparing to destroy them]''
:'''Buttercup''': Why are you people doing this?!
:'''Bubbles''': Don't you love us anymore?
:'''Blossom''': Yeah, you act as if you, as if you...
:'''Him''': ''[off-screen; effeminate]'' Hate you?
:'''Blossom''': Yeah! Hate us! ''[realizes who responded to her question]'' Wait, who said that?
:'''Him''': ''[appears]'' Why, I did, of course.
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': ''[gasp in horror]'' It's Him!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Right you are, girls!''' ''[appears in front of the Professor; effeminate]'' And right you are about your loved ones. ''[licking the Professor's face]''
:'''Blossom''': Take your claws off of the Professor!
:'''Bubbles''': What's he ever done to you?!
:'''Him''': Oh, it's not what ''he's'' done to ''me'', but what he's ''going'' to do ''[demonic]'' '''to YOU!''' ''[effeminate]'' You see, I've taken all of their love for you and ''[his head rotates]'' tuuuuuurned...it into... ''[demonic]'' '''HATE!''' ''[the girls gasp in horror; effeminate]'' Now they will destroy you. ''[demonic]'' '''And you poor, helpless creatures won't be able to fight back.''' ''[effeminate]'' Because the Powerpuff Girls would never hurt the ones they love. Oh, no, they wouldn't! ''[demonic]'' '''NOW DESTROY THEM!'''
:''[The people of Townsville, affected by Him's evil gas, are battling with the Powerpuff Girls, who are on the losing end, until Buttercup rises and knocks the mob away with one punch, stunning Him]''
:'''Buttercup''': Come on, you guys! Get up and fight!
:'''Blossom''': Buttercup, what are you doing? We can't hurt the ones we love.
:'''Buttercup''': Those people ''aren't'' our loved ones. Our loved ones would never want to hurt us!
:'''Blossom, Bubbles''': ''[getting the point]'' Hey, yeah!
:'''Buttercup''': ''[points to Him]'' They're just pawns in his evil scheme!
:'''Him''': ''[giggles; effeminate]'' Well, you know...
:'''Buttercup''': Which means...
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': Let's get 'em!
:'''Him''': ''[frowns]'' Uh-oh.
:''[After the Powerpuff Girls defeat their loved ones and rid them of Him's evil gas, they confront Him]''
:'''Blossom''': Don't ever make us have to do that again!
:'''Buttercup''': Or it will be your last!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Tsk, tsk, tsk. You girls underestimate me. I never give repeat performances. But I assure you, I'll be back!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:''[At the hospital]''
:'''Blossom''': So now you know why we had to do what we did. We all feel really bad, and hope that you'll forgive us.
:'''Bubbles''': Besides, it hurt us a lot more than it hurt you!
:'''Citizens''': Well now, we wouldn't say that! ''[all laughing]''
:'''Narrator''': ''[laughing, then groaning]'' Don’t worry. We forgive you. Because once again, the day is saved, thanks to The Powerpuff Girls! Oh, nurse, isn't it time for my sponge bath?

===Episode 7A: Major Competition ===
:'''Narrator''': '''THE CITY OF TOWNSVILLE IS ON FIRE!!'''

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:'''Mugger''': ''[holding an old woman at gunpoint]'' Uh... everybody freeze or the old lady gets it!
:''[The crowd gasps in terror]''
:'''Major Man''': Halt, vile villain, or taste the bitter flavor of justice that Major Man will serve you!
:'''Buttercup''': ''[sing-song voice]'' Cor-ny!
:''[The crowd shushes her]''
:'''Mugger:''' I'm sorry, Major Man!  My doctor told me to cut down on justice!  But he did say I could have all the ''greens'' I want!  ''[grabs money from the purse]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Blossom:''' Boy, the hotline hasn't run in ages!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mayor:''' That was so hard to do!  ''[pause]''  Anyway, time to move on and forget about the past!  Gotta make room for the future!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Buttercup:''' Let's beat the stuffing out of him!

===Episode 7B.Mister Mojo's Rising===
:''[Mojo Jojo's letter to the Girls:]''
:Dear Powerpuff Girls,
:I have kidnapped Professor Utonium! I have taken him someplace against his will! If you look for him in the spots he likes to be, you will not find him! He's with me - but not by choice! I took him and he didn't like it!
:This message is from, and was written by, Mojo Jojo.
:'''Bubbles''': Who could have done this?
:''[Blossom and Buttercup look annoyed]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator:''' ''[laughs]'' Wow; talk about ironic!  Professor creates Mojo, Mojo creates Girls!  It's crazy, I tell you.  ''[laughs some more]'' Yeah!  So, once again, the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls, but thanks ORIGINALLY to Mojo Jojo!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' It was me.  It was me.  It was me.  It was me.  It was me.
:''[episode ends]''

===Episode 8A.Paste Makes Waste===
:'''Buttercup:''' '''EAT THIS, PASTE EATER!!!!'''

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:'''Loyd &amp; Floyd:''' ''[frightened]'' Hey, dude........
:'''Mitch Mitchelson:''' What?!
:'''Loyd &amp; Floyd:''' Dude..... Dude....

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[to Elmer, who has turned into a giant paste monster, and is covered in flour; sing-song voice]'' You can't stick to me! You can't stick to me! Nyah nyah nyah-nyah- ''[Elmer grows a hole in his stomach and Buttercup flies through it]'' -Nyah???

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom:''' You know what you have to do!
:'''Buttercup:''' '''No! Anything but that!'''
:'''Blossom:''' Buttercup!
:'''Buttercup:''' No, no, no, no, no! All right! '''ELMER!!'''
:'''Elmer:''' Huh?
:'''Buttercup:''' Uh…I-I-I’m…s-s-s-so-s-s-so-o-o…o-o-r-r…r-r-r-ry!
:'''Elmer:''' ''(normal voice)'' Wh-wh-what?
:'''Buttercup:''' I’m…sorry if I picked on you, and…I’m sorry if I called you a…paste eater.
:'''Elmer:''' ''(sniffs, rubs his nose, and takes Blossom and Bubbles out of the sticky glue)'' Thanks, Buttercup. That's all I ever wanted.

===Episode 8B.Ice Sore===

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:'''Bubbles''': ''(after finding out that Blossom has &quot;ice breath&quot;)'' Make the floor all ice, like in ''[[Tom and Jerry]]''! That's my favorite.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom''': Hi, Pablo!
:'''Pablo''': Blossom, how come your sisters are so mean?
:'''Blossom''': Oh, it's 'cause I have ice power and they don't and they're all jealous.
:'''Bubbles and Buttercup''': Nyah!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''(Blossom has accidentally caused crooks to get away with her ice breath)''
:'''Buttercup''': ''(angrily)'' Way to go, Ice Princess.
:'''Bubbles''': You did a bad thing, Blossom.
:'''Blossom''': I know. ''(flies over to cops she accidentally froze)'' Sorry, Mr. Policeman. ''(flies over to citizens she accidentally froze)'' Sorry, people of Townsville. ''(flies over to a tree she accidentally froze)'' Sorry, tree. I promise, I'll never use my ice powers again.

===Episode 11A.Just Another Manic Mojo===
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Now to have some breakfast! ''[finds only one egg in the fridge]'' ONE EGG LEFT?! For a nutritious breakfast, TWO eggs is the minimum requirement! And I have but ONE, which is ONE shy of TWO! And it is TWO that I need! ''Curses!'' I must immediately purchase some eggs, for I need to have breakfast, and without the eggs I cannot have the breakfast that I so require! ''[storms down the long staircase that runs to the bottom of the volcano, then suddenly skids to a halt and pats his outfit in panic]'' I have forgotten my wallet! ''Curses!'' ''[storms back up]''
:''[Cut to him returning down, to discover kids playing in his moat]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': '''HEY, YOU KIDS!!! GET OUT OF MY MOAT!!! IT IS NOT MADE TO BE PLAYED IN!!!''' ''[The kids ignore him, who leaves and muttering to himself]'' I must remember to destroy those kids after my breakfast has been eaten.

===Episode 12.The Rowdyruff Boys===
:''[After defeating Mojo]''
:'''Buttercup''': Give it up, Mo-joke!
:'''Bubbles''': You will never defeat us! So there! ''[blows raspberry]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[resting her hands on her hips]'' The Powerpuff Girls never lose!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator''': ''[singing]'' The Powerpuff Girls' house!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[picks up the phone]'' Hello?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Hello.  May I speak to Professor Utonium?
:'''Bubbles''': Who shall I say is calling?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh, no one he'd know, just a curious stranger.
:''[Pause]''
:'''Bubbles''': ''[shrill call]'' PROFESSOR! There’s a stranger on the phone!
:'''Professor''': ''[picking up the phone]'' Hello, Mr. Stranger, what can I do for you?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh. ''[clears throat]'' Ah, hi, I’m calling from Townsville Community College and I’m doing a report on the Powerpuff Girls, and I was wondering, what exactly are those little girls made of?
:'''Professor''': Ah, oh, well, the Powerpuff Girls.  Oh, let’s see now, eight cups of sugar, a pinch of spice, one tablespoon of everything nice, and, now this one’s important: accidentally add a drop of Chemical X.  And voila!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': That's it?  I mean, wow. Thanks.
:'''Professor''': I also have a great recipe for pound--
:''[Mojo hangs up]''

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:'''Mojo Jojo''': Let’s see, snips and snails and a puppy dog’s tail...all that leaves is Chemical X. There must be something around here with that potency. Aha! ''[it’s a stinky toilet]'' Yes, definitely Chemical X!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After creating three Puff-esque boys, Mojo hugs them in a fatherly manner]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Ah, my children!
:'''Brick''': ''[grabs him threateningly]'' Hands off! Who do you think you are anyway, Pops?!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Why, yes, I am your '''''father''''', children!
:'''Boomer''': Hey! We ain't no babies!
:'''Rowdyruff Boys''': WE'RE THE ROWDYRUFF BOYS!
:'''Boomer''': Boomer!
:'''Brick''': Brick!
:'''Butch''': Butch!
:'''Brick''': We're here to kick some butt! And since yours is the only one around, we're gonna start with you!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh, no, boys.  You don't want to kick my butt; my butt is as rotten as yours.  What you want are butts settled on the throne of justice!
:'''The Rowdyruff Boys''': Yeah!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Butts planted in the soil of nobility!
:'''The Rowdyruff Boys''': Yeah!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Butts nestled between the pillars of peace and love!  The butts you want to kick are the butts of the Powerpuff Girls!
:'''The Rowdyruff Boys''': Let's get 'em!
:'''Mojo''': I'd be glad to take you to them if we only had a way out of heeeeeeee- ''[getting picked up by Brick, and Boomer and Butch punch a hole in the ceiling, essentially busting Mojo out of jail easily]''
:'''Narrator''': Boy, oh, boy! Those boys are b-b-bad to the bone!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Brick''': Hey! What's wrong with you girls?! You're supposed to start ''crying'' when we hit ya!
:'''Boomer''': Yeah!
:'''Blossom''': What are you guys, new?
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah, we're the Powerpuff Girls!
:'''Buttercup''': And it takes a lot more than a couple of cheap shots to make us cry!
:'''Brick''': ''[smirking]'' Well, then. I guess we'll just have to serve it up...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bubbles is thrown through a shop window]''
:'''Mr. Cooper''': Are you okay?
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah. Sorry about your window, Mr. Looper.
:'''Mr. Cooper''': It's Cooper! COOPER!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''The Mayor''': And furthermore, every Wednesday shall be pretzel day!  ''[Blossom is thrown against the window of his office]'' Hello, Blossom! ''[she slides down]'' Goodbye, Blossom.  ''[Bubbles is thrown against the window of his office]'' Hello, Bubbles! ''[she slides down]'' Goodbye, Bubbles.  ''[Buttercup is thrown against the window of his office]'' Hello, Buttercup! ''[she slides down]'' Goodbye, Buttercup.  What sort of pretzels do you suppose the girls like, Bavarian, or tiny twists?
:'''Miss Bellum''': Sir, I think the girls may be in trouble.
:'''The Mayor''': Whatever makes you say that?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the Rowdyruff Boys zoom past the Powerpuff Girls, the exhaust leaves the Girls weakened and coughing]''
:'''Butch''': Good thing we had those burritos for lunch!
:'''Boomer''': ''[laughs]'' Yeah, dude!
:'''Brick''': ''[snickers]'' Word! ''[fiercely]'' NOW LET'S '''FINISH THOSE SISSIES!!!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Miss Bellum''': Listen. What do little boys fear more than anything in the world?
:'''Bubbles''': Bugs!
:'''Buttercup''':  No, Bubbles. That's what ''you’re'' afraid of.
:'''Bubbles''': Oh yeah.
:'''Miss Bellum''': Girls, you have what boys fear most. Instead of fighting, try being nice.
:'''Girls''': Huh?
:'''Miss Bellum''': You know. Nice.
:'''Blossom''': I get it.
:'''Buttercup''': Ew. Gross.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the Girls magically kiss the Rowdyruff Boys, destroying them]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Curse you again, Powerpuff Girls! I'll be back, but next time I will not be defeated! It is ''you'' who will be defeated! And when you are defeated, it is ''you'' who will have ''lost''!
:'''Narrator''': Oh, Mojo, shut up!
:'''Blossom''': I kinda liked kissing.
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah!
:''[She and Blossom giggle]''
:'''Blossom''': How about you, Buttercup?
:'''Buttercup''': ''[starts spitting in disgust]'' Yuck! Buck!
:''[Bubbles and Blossom laugh]''

==Season 2==
5 Episodes by January 1, 1999 - January 31, 2000

===Episode 1A.Stuck Up, Up, and Away===
:'''Narrator:''' The City of Townsville, and it's a shiny new day, with a shiny new limousine headed for Pokey Oaks Kindergarten.  Seems there will be a shiny new face joining the class today!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' I'll need some milk money for my first day of new school!  ''[her dad hands her some cash]''  I suppose this will do!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After Blossom has used her ice breath on a flying Princess to rid her of her superpowered suit, and she falls, crying, but Blossom catches her before she can hit the ground]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[crying]'' Why won't you let me be a Powerpuff Girl?
:'''Blossom:''' Because you're just a spoiled brat. ''[puts Princess down]'' And being a Powerpuff Girl isn't about getting your way, or having the best stuff, or being popular or powerful. It's about using your own unique abilities to help people and the world we all live in. And you, little girl, have done nothing worthy of the name &quot;Powerpuff.&quot;

===Episode4B.You Snooze, You Lose===
:'''Bubbles''': A scavenger hunt? How terrible! I don't believe in hunting scavengers.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[with bloodshot eyes and a crazed smile]'' I know who took my plans! ''[his eyes turn slowly to his left, then he suddenly points to his right]'' It was YOU! ''[a bird at his window chirps innocently]'' Well, then...it was YOU! ''[points at his telephone]'' It was ALL of you! ''[the room starts shaking]'' Ohh, the pounding, the pounding, why won't it stop?!
:''[Outside, Buttercup is knocking on his door]''
:'''Buttercup''': Why-won't-this-guy-answer?!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[throws the door open]'' '''WHAAAAAAAT?!?'''
:'''Bubbles''': ''[politely]'' Hello! Please, Mr. Mojo, sir, could we please borrow your supercharged high-tech laser, please?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Okay, okay, just don't bother me again. I'm trying to find my plans on how to destroy you.
:'''Powerpuff Girls:''' ''[with Mojo's high-tech laser]'' THANK YOU, MOJO!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mojo sees the Powerpuff Girls trapped in the machine he planned, with the clueless Amoeba Boys at the control panel]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': '''MY MACHINE!!!'''
:'''Junior''': ''[playing with the aiming yoke]'' Duh, hey, look, Boss, I'm drivin'!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[shoves them away]'' Get out of here! This is ''my'' machine! ''[laughs evilly]'' Now I've got you, Powerpuff Girls! And it is ''my'' plan that will destroy you! And then I will rule the world!
:'''Buttercup''': Mojo, you creep!
:'''Blossom''': This is the Amoebas' plan!
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah! You're just jealous!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[shocked and confused]'' No! No! It is mine, I tell you! I came up with the crab! And the laser! And even the chewing gum that holds you!
:'''Girls''': Chewing gum?!
:'''Blossom''': Girls! &quot;Chew&quot; thinking what I'm thinking?
:'''Bubbles, Buttercup''': ''[nodding]'' Mmm-hmm!
:''[They chew their way free and fly at Mojo, blowing huge bubbles that burst explosively, knocking him from his seat. They then give him a beatdown as per usual, and then turn to the Amoeba Boys]''
:'''Blossom''': Well, Amoeba Boys! Playing dumb all these years!
:'''Bubbles''': When all the while, you were criminal masterminds!
:'''Buttercup''': Looks like it's the big house for you!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[going ballistic]'' But it is ''I'' who planned it! ''I'' did it, not them! ''I'' am the criminal mastermind! ''I'' am the evil genius! I smart, they dumb! ''I'' am responsible for trying to destroy you!
:'''Blossom''': ''[smiling]'' Okay. Then ''you'' go to jail.
:'''Mojo''': ''[triumphantly]'' That's right!

===Episode 6A.Slave the Day===
:'''Narrator''': &quot;The city of Townsville... SMELLS&quot;?!! Say, what's going on here? &quot;The Mayor's dumb&quot;?! That's just rude!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Big Billy &quot;reads&quot; the girls a bedtime story]''
:'''Big Billy''': &quot;So the 3 Little Wolves went to the pig's house, and they said, 'FE FI FO FUM, you sure have big teeth, Grandma!' And so Hansel and the 3 Blind Mice climbed up the beanstalk to sell Mother Goose an old shoe!&quot;

===Episode 6B.Los Dos Mojos===
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[beating up Mojo Jojo]'' Take this! And that! And some of this! And one of those!
:'''Blossom:''' Buttercup, if Mojo Jojo is here, he can't possibly be the one destroying Townsville!
:'''Buttercup:''' Then who's in the Robo Jojo?
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' Why don't you see for yourself?
:''[The machine opens, revealing an amnesiac Bubbles in Mojo Jojo's clothes]''
:'''Blossom, Buttercup:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Narrator:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Mayor:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Talking Dog:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Crowd:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''(sarcastically)'' Bubbles.
:'''Bubbles:''' ''[imitating Mojo]'' I am not Bubbles! Bubbles is not who I am! I am the one, the only, single solitary doer of dastardly deeds! Purveyor of pestilence! And deliverer of lawlessness! I'm a menace to mankind! I am bad! I am evil! I am Mojo Jojo! Hahahahahahahaha!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''[annoyed]'' I do not talk like that! The way I communicate is ''much'' different! I do not reiterate, repeat, reinstate the same thing over and over again! I am clear! Concise! To-the-point! I-
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[beating him up again]'' Take this! And that! And some of this! And one of those!
:'''Blossom:''' What kind of evil have you bestowed upon our sister?!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' You've got to be kidding. I'm wet! I'm naked! Your sister is wearing my clothes! And this is all part of some evil plot... '''TO RULE THE WORLD AS A SOGGY CHIMP IN MY BIRTHDAY SUIT?!?!?'''
:'''Blossom:''' Buttercup, I don't think Mojo is behind this one. That bonk to Bubbles' head must have led her to believe that she is Mojo Jojo!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''[sarcastic]'' No, really? Do you think?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Narrator:''' ''[Mojo Bubbles just hit Blossom across a brick building]'' Uh-oh, Bubbles done a bad thing!
:''[An upset Blossom is about to attack Mojo Bubbles but Buttercup prevents her]''
:'''Buttercup:''' Blossom, wait! She's our sister!
:'''Blossom:''' Yeah, but that really hurt.
:'''Buttercup:''' I know, I know. But two wrongs don't make a right. She hits you, you hit her. Suddenly we’re all hitting each other, then we’ll all be right back where we started.
:'''Bubbles:''' ''[imitating Mojo Jojo]'' What's the matter, Buttercup? 'Fraid I'll whoop the skirt off you?
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[annoyed]'' Alright, let's kick her butt.
:'''Blossom:''' ''[preventing her]'' No, Buttercup. You’re right. She is our sister. And as sisters, we have an intrinsic duty; to uphold peace. Not only for the city of Townsville, but amongst ourselves.
:'''Bubbles''': ''[imitating Mojo Jojo]'' Prepare to meet your maker!
:'''Blossom and Buttercup''': ''[outraged]'' You leave the professor out of this!
:''[Then Mojo Bubbles proceeds to beat up her sisters]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' '''RIGHT ON! WE DID IT!''' We finally destroyed the Powerpuff Girls! Now there is no one to stop us! Hand in hand, we can work together! '''WE CAN RULE THE WORLD!''' Just you and me, Bubbles.
:'''Bubbles:''' ''[imitating Mojo]'' I am not Bubbles! Bubbles is not my name! For the name &quot;Bubbles&quot; is not the correct name to address me by, because it is not my name! If you were to address me by the name &quot;Mojo Jojo,&quot; that would be correct, for my name is Mojo Jojo! And I will only be addressed by that name, which is Mojo Jojo! And furthermore, it is not &quot;we&quot; who will rule the world - it is &quot;I&quot;! I, being Mojo Jojo - who is not Bubbles - shall rule this world alone, which is to say, without anybody else, and without anybody else shall I rule this world! And when this world is ruled by only one person, and not a collective group, that one person who shall be ruling the world will be none other than me, Mojo Jojo! ''[evil laugh]''
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''[annoyed and angrily]'' &lt;Big&gt;'''Oh, SHUT UP!!!'''&lt;/Big&gt; ''[swings a girder which hits Bubbles' head in slow-mo just as he did at the beginning of the show, knocking out Bubbles's memory, then, in normal speed, he reclaims his helmet and puts it back on]'' That's all just well enough, because in reality there is only room enough in this world for one Mojo Jojo. [[w:Monty Python and the Holy Grail|One shall be the number of Mojo Jojos in the world, and the number of Mojo Jojos in the world shall be one! Two Mojo Jojos is too many, and three is right out!]] So, the only Mojo Jojo there is room for in the world SHALL BE ME! ''(echoing)'' And being the only Mojo Jojo in the world, I will rule the world, in which there is ''only one'' '''MOJO JOJO!!!''' ''[evil laugh]''
:'''Bubbles:''' ''[regains consciousness as her normal self]'' What happened? ''[sees all the damages she did as Mojo Jojo, then gasps]'' There is only one evildoer who could've done this to Townsville, and that's... ''[notices Mojo laughing]'' MOJO JOJO! ''[proceeds to attack him]''
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[pointing]'' Look!
:'''Blossom:''' It looks like Bubbles is back to her sweet old self again.
:'''Buttercup:''' That's good. ’Cause there certainly isn't enough room in the world for ''two'' Mojo Jojos.
:'''Blossom:''' I heard that!
:'''Narrator:''' Yeah, and so did we - over a million times! We get it already! And so once again, the day is saved, thanks to Mojo Bubbles...er the Powerpuff... Ah, heck, the day was saved. ''[imitating Mojo]'' So says me, the Narrator. So-called because I speak the narrative of the story! I advance the plot! I begin and end each episode of ''The Powerpuff Girls!'' '''''Me! The Narrator!'''''

===Episode 7A.Very Special Blossom===
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Ahhh! My master is completed! Happy father's day! My captian, I wish you were here to enjoy
:''(Blossom crashes in and made Mojo scream in bloody hell as Blossom tides Mojo's body with tape)''
:''(Scene changes to a prison)''
:'''Buttercup''': It's Blossom!
:'''Blossom''': Look! I can explain everything! The professor shouldn't be in jail for stealing any golf clubs! It's all Mojo's fault!
:''(Mojo muffles a protest that he didn't do it)''
:'''Mayor''': I say, Chief. We made a terrible mistake. Didn't we?
:'''Buttercup''': ''(angrily)'' Wait a minute, Blossom! You told me you found those clubs! Which is it? Did you find them? Or did he sell it to you? Come on, Blossom! TELL THE TRUTH!
:'''Bubbles''': YEAH! YOU BIG FAT LIAR!
:'''Buttercup''': COME ON!!!
:'''Professor''': Please, Tell the truth, Blossom!
:'''Buttercup''': ''(as Blossom whimpers then tries to escape from her punishment)'' WATCH OUT!
:'''Bubbles''': She is getting away!
:'''Buttercup''': COME BACK HERE, AND QUIT LYING!
:''(They finally caught Blossom)''
:'''Blossom''': ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! ''(regretfully)'' I did it. I stole the golf clubs.
:'''Professor''': But why, Blossom! Why?!?!
:'''Blossom''': Because you wanted it so much, And I just wanted to make you happy!
:'''Professor''': It's all my fault! ''(voice breaks down)'' I put too much value in a material item, instead of the love of you girls.
:'''Blossom''': And that's what drove a crime!
:'''Professor''': Oh, Mayor, please...go easy on Blossom. She's sorry. ''(to Blossom)'' Aren’t you, honey?
:'''Blossom''': ''(whines)'' Yes!
:'''Mayor''': What do you say, Officer? It is her first offense!
:'''Police Officer''': ''(as his voice breaks down)'' This is very sad. ''(angrily)'' BUT THE LAW IS THE LAW!
:''(We see Blossom's mugshot)''
:'''Narrator''': Blossom was sentenced to 300 hours of community service. This was a harsh reminder to herself and all that crime doesn't pay.
:'''Blossom''': Boy, you can say that again.
:'''Father Bird''': Well, it doesn't!
:'''Blossom''': Huh?
:'''Father Bird''': I said it doesn't!
:''(The baby birds agree to their father)''
:'''Narrator''': So once again, the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls! ''(we see Bubbles and Buttercup very angry at Blossom in a prison inmate uniform)'' Well, Two of them at least.
:''(Bubbles and Buttercup leave as we see Blossom behind bars)''

===Episode 7B.Daylight Savings===
:'''The Time Channel announcer:''' Welcome to the time channel, where we give you up-to-the-minute time, 24 hours a day. Up next, the current time. Hello. I’m Sonny Dial, here to bring you the latest time. But first, I hope all of you remembered that last night was Daylight Savings, which means everyone sets their clocks back by one hour. That makes our current time 6:41. I’ll be back at 6:42 with the up-to-the-minute time.
:'''Professor:''' ''(realizing as he checks all the clock including his watch'') CRIKEY! I FORGOT TO SET THE CLOCKS BACK! ''(kicks down the bedroom door, turns on the light, rushes to the bed pulling covers away)'' Girls, wake up! GIRLS, WAKE UP!!! ''(slamming hotline receiver in cradle repeatedly)'' Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! ''(grabs mattress)'' Get out of bed! NOW! ''(flips the mattress; the girls are now awake, and he's panting frantically)'' Daylight savings, clocks wrong, forty-five minutes, save Townsville now!
:'''Blossom''': But what about our curfew?
:'''Professor''': There's no time! ''(throws them out their windows one at a time)'' GO! GO! GO!

===Episode 11A.Twisted Sister===
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Blossom''': The first thing we need is sugar.
:'''Bubbles''': I'll get it! ''[Dashes on the left]''
:'''Blossom''': And spice.
:'''Buttercup''': I'm on it! ''[Dashes on the right]''
:'''Blossom''': Next you need...
:'''Bubbles''': ''[Comes back with a sweet powder]'' I couldn't find any sugar, but I did find an artificial sweetener.
:'''Blossom''': That's okay. Next you need...
:'''Buttercup''': ''[Comes back with dirt, twigs and leaves]'' I didn't know where to get spices, so I got dirt and twigs and stuff.
:'''Blossom''': Well, that's kinda like spices. Put it in. Now, next you need...everything nice!
:'''Girls''': Oh, boy! ''[The three fly out]''
:'''Bubbles''': Crayons are nice.
:'''Blossom''': Books are nice.
:'''Buttercup''': Lizards are nice!
:'''Bubbles''': I like flowers.
:'''Blossom''' Computers are good.
:'''Buttercup''': A football!
:'''Bubbles''': Stuffed animals!
:'''Blossom''': A calculator.
:'''Buttercup''': A mackerel.
:'''Bubbles''': More flowers.
:'''Blossom''': A compass.
:'''Buttercup''': Boxing gloves.
:'''Bubbles''': Ribbon!
:'''Blossom''': Art.
:'''Buttercup''': Band aids.
:'''Bubbles''': A smiley face.
:'''Blossom''': A globe.
:'''Buttercup''': ''[Punches the bowl]'' A knuckle sandwich!
:'''Blossom''': Okay. The final and most important step is to accidentally add Chemical X to the concoction.
:''[The girls make awkward faces and dash out and Blossom holds a beaker that looks like Chemical X]''
:'''Blossom''': Oh, look at what I found, girls. Chemical X.
:'''Bubbles''': Be careful with that Chemical X.
:'''Buttercup''': Yes, Blossom. Whatever you do, do not drop that Chemical X.
:'''Blossom''': Don't worry, I wo...''[Drops the beaker]'' Whoops! I accidentally dropped the Chemical X. And it fell into the concoction.
:'''Girls''': Oh, no.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Narrator''': Hurry, girls, hurry! You created a monster! 
:'''Girls''': Bunny!
:'''Bunny''': Wha?
:'''Bubbles''': What have you done?
:'''Bunny''': Bunny do good! Bunny do good!
:'''Buttercup''': No, Bunny do bad. Very bad!
:'''Bunny''': Bad?
:'''Blossom''': Yes, bad. You're supposed to stop crime, not help start it. I guess you're not cut out to be a Powerpuff Girl after all.
:'''Bunny''': No Powawull?
:'''Girls''': No.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': Wha...Wh-Wh-Wh-What happened?
:'''Blossom''': Bunny saved us!
:'''Buttercup''': But...where is she?
:''[A part of Bunny's dress lands in front of them]''
:'''Girls''': ''[gasp]'' Bunny!
:'''Bubbles''': Oh no! She exploded!
:'''Buttercup''': But why?
:'''Blossom''': I guess she was unstable, and the blast broke her down into her original ingredients. 
:'''Bubbles''': She was good after all... ''[starts to cry]'' ''We'' were the ones who were bad.
:''[They hang their heads in shame.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:''[At the end of the episode]''
:'''Narrator''': [''crying hard for a few seconds''] Oh, it's so sad, I can't take it. And so, for the first...and final time...the day is saved, thanks to Powerpuff Bunny! 
:'''Bunny''': Powawul!
:'''Narrator''': ''[crying harder for a few more seconds]'' Oh, why? WHY?!?...Oh, go to a commercial!

===Episode 11B.Cover Up===
:''[holding a blanket to her cheek]''
:'''Buttercup''': I am a good fighter. I am a good fighter.  I am a good fighter.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[after crying and pounding the counter in frustration]'' Where's my blanket?!
:'''Bubbles:''' We don't have time for this, Buttercup.
:'''Blossom:''' ''[worried]'' Townsville is in trouble.
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[losing it completely]'' '''''NOOOOOOOO!!'' I NEED MY BLANKET!!'''

===Episode 12A.Speed Demon===
:'''Him''': ''[laughs; effeminate]'' Don't you know the faster you go, time slows down? Your time stopped for fifty years whilst you were out racing around. 
:'''Blossom''': I know that voice!
:'''Him''': Seconds, minutes, hours, days and nights all crawl by on hands and knees as you race the speed of light.
:''[Him has now emerged. The Girls gasp in horror]''
:'''Him''': Yes! Coming back now? Remember?
:''[Buttercup remembers her dare to her sisters: &quot;So - which of you slowpokes wants to race me home?&quot;]''
:'''Buttercup''': No!
:'''Him''': Yes! As you raced through time, the whole world went to ''[demonic]'' '''Heck!'''
:'''Blossom''': You lie! Don't believe him, Girls!
:''[The Girls severely attack and batter Him, but he seems totally unaffected]''
:'''Him''': Are you finished?
:'''Buttercup''': No, but ''you'' are!
:'''Blossom''': Don't you know you can never beat us?
:'''Him''': Beat you? ''[eyes start glowing]'' But girls, don't you see? I've ''[demonic]'' '''already  ''WON!'''''
:''[He transforms into the larger, more terrifying monster version of himself]''
:'''Him''': The beauty lies in the blame, because ''[demonic]'' '''it's ''your'' fault for leaving! Just ask your friends.'''
:'''Citizens''': ''[variously]'' Powerpuff Girls. You did this? You did this?
:'''Blossom''': No!
:'''Him''': All ''I'' did was take over. ''[demonic]'' '''It was ''easy!'''''
:'''Citizens''': Why'd you leave us, Powerpuff Girls? Why? You weren't here to protect us. You weren't here. It's your fault. ''[chanting]'' Your fault.
:'''Blossom''': What have we done?!
:''[Him laughs demonically]''
:'''Citizens''': ''[still chanting]'' Your fault.
:'''Buttercup''': No. No! NO!
:'''Bubbles''': WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!? ''[begins to cry]''
:''[The Powerpuff Girls, screaming in defiance, fly into space, then dive back to earth at supersonic speeds, thus going back in time]''
:'''Citizen''': Hi, girls!
:'''BB''': Hi!
:'''Ms. Keane''': Hi, girls!
:'''BB''': Hi!
:'''Mayor''': Hi, girls!
:'''Professor Utonium''': Hi, girls!
:''[the Girls sorrowfully hug the professor and explained what happened during their speedy time travel]''

==Season 3==
5 Episodes by February 2, 2000 - December 31, 2001

===Episode 0A.Helter Shelter===

===Episode 0B.Moxy===

===Episode 1A.Fallen Arches===

===Episode 1B.The Mane Event===

===Episode 2A.Town and Out===
:'''Proffessor''': ''(taking his head to the opended window)'' I love this town!!!!! ''(echoing)''
:'''Man''': ''(off-screen,angry)'' Ahh shut up ya jerk !!!!!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Citiesville Mayor''': ''(quietly, sternly)'' Let me tell you some words. At what point did it seem like a good idea to blow up the Cityville Bridge? 
:'''Blossom''': Uhh...
:'''Citiesville Mayor''': ''(waves his index finger at the girls)'' No! ''(getting off desk)'' Do you realize the two crooks that you caught stole approximately ''(holds up four fingers on the word &quot;four&quot;)'' four hundred dollars? ''(with intensifying rage)'' Do you realize that you did over three ''(and pounds the desk on the word &quot;million&quot;)'' '''''MILLION DOLLARS IN PROPERTY DAMAGE TO THAT BRIDGE?!''''' '''''IT'S NOT REPLACEABLE!''''' ''(a scared Blossom blinks up at him, and he sighs as he looks despondently out his window at the destroyed bridge, much calmer now, but still very upset)'' Also, that bridge is — or ''was'' — a historical landmark. ''(unfurling flag on pole)'' I mean, it's on our flag, for Pete's sakes! It's also the main thoroughfare into the city! ''(dropping flag)'' Nobody actually lives in Citiesville! ''(voice trailing into tears)'' They commute! ''(cries for a moment, then quickly pulls himself together to turn back and glare at the girls, holding up a piece of paper)'' This is a bill prohibiting the use of superpowers in the town of Citiesville. ''(signing it)'' You're hereby forbidden by law to use any of your powers within the city limits. ''(hands the document to the girls and points at the door, menacingly)'' Now, get out of my sight!

===Episode 2B.Child Fearing===
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Prepare your taste buds delight! For I, Mojo Jojo, am not only the number one villain in Townsville, but I am also...number one chef in Townsville!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Blarney the Sea Serpent''': ''[on television]'' If...I were a bunny I'd...HOP, HOP, HOP! HOP, HOP, HOP! HOP, HOP, HOP! HOP, HOP, HOP! ''[the Girls hop, shaking the floor and waking Mojo up]'' If...I were a rhino I'd...STOMP, STOMP, STOMP! STOMP, STOMP, STOMP! STOMP, STOMP, STOMP! ''[the Girls stomp, upsetting Mojo even more]'' If...I were a fish I would...SCREAM, SCREAM, SCREAM! SCREAM, SCREAM, SCREAM! SCREAM, SCREAM, SCREAM! ''[the Girls scream, making Mojo cover his ears in irritation]'' Okay, lads and lasses. Now let's all join in.
:''[The Girls look towards Mojo deviously]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[terrified]'' Oh no, no-! ''[they grab him]''
:'''Blarney the Sea Serpent''': ''[on television]'' If I were a log, I'd ROLL! ROLL! ROLL!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[as the Girls roll him across the floor]'' STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WAIT!
:'''Blarney the Sea Serpent''': ''[on television]''If I were a ball, I'd BOUNCE! BOUNCE! BOUNCE!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[as the Girls dribble him like a ball]'' HELP! I DO NOT LIKE THIS!
:'''Blarney the Sea Serpent''': ''[on television]'' If I were a rake, I'd RAKE! RAKE! RAKE! ''[the Girls take Mojo outside and rake the lawn with his teeth)'' If I were a hammer, I'd POUND! POUND! POUND! ''[the Girls slam Mojo upside-down onto a block of wood]'' If I were a candle, I'd...
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[annoyed]'' '''ENOOOOUUUUGH!!!''' I HAVE HAD IT!! ''[seizing the Girls and takes them upstairs]'' IT'S...TIME...FOR...'''BEEEEEED!!!''' ''[tosses them into bed]'' Whew! Finally, Mojo get peace.
:'''Buttercup''': Where are you going?
:''[Cut to the girls in bed, now wearing their nightgowns]''
:'''Bubbles''': Aren't you going to read us a story?
:'''Blossom''': We can't sleep without a story!
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah!
:''[We pull back to show Mojo at the doorway, crying and whimpering, his back to the girls. Then he turns around]''
:'''Mojo''': ''[begging]'' All right! ''[kneeling]'' But only if you go to sleep! ''[the girls nod and point toward the side of the bed. He sits down on a stool there]'' Very well, then. I will tell you my favorite story...ABOUT THE GREATEST CONQUEROR WHO EVER LIVED! [[w:Napoleon Bonaparte|Napoleon]]! ''[he envisions himself as Napoleon]'' He was a mighty man, feared by all who looked up to him. Using his genius and his loyal army, he conquered all of Europe, then all of Russia, and finally the whole world. The end.
:'''The Powerpuff Girls''': ''[sing-song voice]'' BO-RING!
:''[Mojo's vision is shattered]''
:'''Blossom''': Your story's all wrong! Napoleon's 1807 seizure of Portugal and the subsequent Rebellion by the Spaniards cost France over 300,000 casualties, untold sums of money, and contributed to the eventual weakening of the Napoleonic Empire! ''[whacks Mojo with her pillow]''
:'''Bubbles''': And your analysis on the Invasion of Russia is also incorrect! Napoleon's invasion of 1812 resulted in ''massive'' casualties of his troops, due to starvation and inclement conditions, and ended in a disastrous retreat from Moscow with his army ''defeated!'' ''[whacks Mojo with her pillow]''
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah, dummy! And when he returned to France, the Allied Nations of Europe united against him, which led to his eventual defeat at the Battle of Waterloo on June 18, 1815, whereafter he was exiled to the island of St. Helena, where he died a ''miserable'' death from stomach cancer on May 5, 1821, stupid! ''[whacks Mojo with her pillow]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Narrator''': If I were a narrator, I'd end this show! And so once again, the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!

===Episode 3.Criss Cross Crisis===
:'''Buttercup/Professor''': Bubbles, come on!
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': I'm not going!
:'''Blossom/Ms. Bellum''': What are you talking about?
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': ''[softly]'' I'm not going out there
:'''Buttercup/Professor''': ''(scoffs)'' Why not?
:''[Bubbles, in the Mayor's body, begins to sob]''
:'''Blossom/Ms. Bellum''': Well?
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': ''[turns on light and reveals bald spot]'' I'M BALD!!!
:'''Buttercup/Professor''': ''[scoffs]'' Ugh, you're so sensitive!
:'''Blossom/Ms. Bellum''': Don't be silly, you're not bald. You have plenty of hair, see? Look. ''[combs Bubbles in the Mayor's body's hair]'' There, now you look just like a normal person.
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': Really? Do I, Professor?
:'''Professor/Buttercup''': Uhm...yeah! You look great! Right, Mr. Mayor?
:'''Mayor/Bubbles''': Yeah, sure. Whatever
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': OK, let's go!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo/Old Lady''': ''[laughing evily]'' A priceless vase, and I have taken it for myself without paying! ''[hearing something]'' Hey, what's that sound? Oh, it's so familiar. Hmm, it's on the tip of my tongue. Ah, oh, of course, it's the... ''[getting tackled]'' Oh, The Powerpuff Girls!
:'''Girls/Ms. Bellum, Mayor, and Professor''': That's right, Mojo!
:'''Mojo Jojo/Old Lady''': Mojo? But I'm just an old lady!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo/Old Lady''': It's polyduranium fibroid, you can't break it. You're trapped and TOTALLY HELPLESS! ''[laughing evilly]''
:'''Girls/Ms. Bellum, Mayor, and Professor''': You forgot one thing, Mojo!
:'''Mojo Jojo/Old Lady''': What? ''[the girls hit him with a laser]'' Ow, oh, ow, ow...ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, oh, ow.

===Episode 4A.Bubblevision===
:'''Professor''': Bubbles, you look super.

===Episode 13A.Helter Shelter===
:'''Blossom''': All right, Bubbles! What animal do you have hiding in there?!
:'''Bubbles''': He's not an animal, ''[opens the door and shows a blue whale in their bedroom]'' he's a mammal!

===Episode 7A.Jewel of the Aisle===
:'''The Powerpuff Girls''': ''[Sing-song voice]'' Lucky Captain Rabbit King! Lucky Captain Rabbit King! Lucky Captain Rabbit King!
:'''Thief''': ''[disguised as Lucky Captain Rabbit King]'' All right, cool it down! Cool it down. Now, uh... ''[clears his throat]'' Listen up. The Captain and Tennille has a headache. I'm just here for some cereal, then I'll be on my way. ''[reaches for the box of Lucky Captain Rabbit King Nuggets]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[swipes thee cereal box]'' You think we're that stupid?
:'''Buttercup''': We know you have to try and trick us.
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah, just like in the commercials!
:'''Buttercup''': So don't come back until you've got something good! ''[slams the door in the thief's face. A moment later, the doorbell rings and she answers it]''
:'''Thief''': ''[in his fake deep voice]'' Hey, did you guys just see my twin brother?
:'''Buttercup''': ''[slams the door in his face again]'' Weak!

===Episode 7B.Super Zeroes===
:''[The Powerpuff Girls, inspired by their favorite superheroes from their comics, and calling themselves Liberty Belle, Harmony Bunny and Mange, are attempting to fight a monster, but are unable to harm it, much to the monster's annoyance]''
:'''Monster''': STOP!!
:'''Blossom''': What?
:'''Bubbles''': What?
:'''Buttercup''': Huh?
:'''Monster''': Better heroes, huh? Listen, girls. My name is Steve. I'm a monster. I've been coming here for three days causing all sorts of damage to your town, and what do I get? Two days of no-shows, and now this: A flag girl who does rope tricks, some rabbit, and Little Miss Darkness who's afraid of a little sun.
:'''Buttercup''': Hey, do you have any idea who you're talking to?
:'''Bubbles''': We're superheroes!
:'''Blossom''': Real ones!
:'''Steve the Monster''': You know, that's great and all. But, what am I supposed to tell all the guys back at Monster Isle? You see, when a monster visits Townsville, he must fight the Powerpuff Girls. And if he can hold his own and make it back to Monster Isle alive, he's a hero. Now, this new bit is just not gonna cut it. Sure, you didn't have a thirst for vengeance, stickers with faces on them, or souped-up vehicles, 'cause you didn't need them. You see, even if you take away the costumes, props and angst... ''[takes all of the Girls' costumes off, revealing them in their normal Powerpuff outfits]'' you still have all the bravery and courage it takes to save the day. So, what do you say, Powerpuff Girls?
:'''Blossom''': Let's get him!
:'''Steve the Monster''': Now, that's better.
:''[He gets beat up by the Girls]''
:'''Narrator''': So, once again, the day is saved...with no thanks to Liberty Belle, Harmony Bunny, or Mange...but to the one and only Powerpuff Girls!

===Episobe 12B.Meet the Beat-Alls===
:''[Opening shot of Townsville at night]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The city of Townsville. I hate you! I do not enjoy the fact that three superhero female children take up residence in you! ''[begins pacing]'' And by hurting me and forcing me to dwell in one of your correctional facilities, these mutant infant girls prevent me from obtaining political control of you! ''[stops pacing]'' But you will be mine, and they will most certainly-
:''[Cut to Him in his rotating chair]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Pay! I have been made a fool by you for the last time. But as they say, ''[rotating his chair]'' all good things must come to an end. And your end is-
:''[Scene changes to Princess Morbucks and her father]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': ''[talking to her father]'' Tonight! Think of it as an investment toward your future. ''[acting sweetly]'' If I don't destroy the Powerpuff Girls tonight, ''[suddenly shouting]'' I'LL NEVER GIVE YOU A DAY OF PEACE UNTIL I-
:''[Cut to Fuzzy trying to sing while playing with his banjo]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Doo...doo-doo-doo...doo-doo-doo-doo... ''[hits only wrong notes]'' Oh, I'm sorry, Jo. I can't play you purty tonight. I got them derned Powerpuffs in my noodle! And they make me so mad I wanna-
''[Cut back to Mojo]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Destroy them, I will!''[stomping through the streets in his robot walker]'' Tonight is the night in which-
:''[Cut back to Him]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Your reign of goodness will end. ''[grows much taller]'' And my reign of ''[demonic voice]'' '''evil shall-'''
:''[Cut back to Princess, flying around with her jet thrusters]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Begin to take hold, as I take over-
:''[Cut back to Fuzzy, running around while carrying a large rock]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Townsville ain't gonna be no more after I get them Powerpuff-
:''[Cut to the Powerpuff Girls' bedroom]''
:'''Professor Utonium''': ''[off-screen]'' Girls, time for bed.
:''[The professor is seen, turning off the lights and closes the door. All was peaceful at night, until four villains showed up at the Powerpuff Girls' house unexpectedly]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Hey! What are y'all doing here?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Well, I'm here to destroy the Powerpuff Girls. And I can only assume that these two losers are here to watch a master at work.
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Listen, you pathethic primate! It is I who shall destroy the Powerpuff Girls, not you!''' ''[effeminate['' So, why not run along and have a banana?
:'''Mojo''': Oh, that is a misconception! Just because I am a monkey does not mean I'm a banana addict!
:''[Him and Mojo begin to argue for seconds]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': ''[shouting]'' Quiet! Now, listen. It doesn't matter that you get all your little gadgets, or that you're the ultimate evil. All that matters is that I destroy the Powerpuff Girls! Which I will, because I have the most powerful power in the whole wide world. ''[takes out a stack of money]'' COLD HARD CASH!
:'''Mojo''': She has a point there.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Yes, she does.
:''[Pause]''
:'''Mojo''': But, still!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Yeah!
:''[They resume arguing, along with Princess]''
:'''Fuzzy''': Hey, I wanna fight, too.
:''[He joins in the argument, but the girls woke up angrily, having enough of the argument, and fly out of their windows]''
:'''Bubbles''': ''[shouting]'' '''''SHUT UP!!!!'''''
:'''Blossom''': We're trying to sleep!
:'''Buttercup''': We'll kick your butts tomorrow.
:'''Mojo''': IT'S-
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' THE-
:'''Princess''': GIRLS!
:'''Fuzzy''': GET 'EM!
:''[Mojo fires laser beams from his robot, Him fires with his energy beam from his mouth, and Princess fires her blaster rays from her hands, hit the girls, causing them to scream in pain. The girls sink slowly to ground level in front of Fuzzy. He stands there for some moments, watching their torment, and his eyes finally turn up to the rock he is holding. He gathers his strength and hurls it; the camera follows it as it flies through the air in slow motion and lands squarely on them, sprawled out on the ground still screaming in agony before they are silenced by the rock landing on them. An eerie hush falls over the scene. Fade to black. Turn down to the four villains, staring in shock and disbelief. Quick shot of the rock on the front lawn, still pinning the girls, then back to the four]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Did we just do what I think we did?
:'''Mojo''': Yes. Individually, we have failed time and again. But together, we are victorious!
:'''Princess''': I propose we join forces, and merge into one super-villain conglomerate!
:'''Fuzzy''': Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup? We beat 'em? We beat all of 'em?
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' That's it! We will be known as...the Silver Beat-Alls!
:'''Mojo''': No. Too fancy. We shall be known as...the Beat-Alls!
:''[All four smile wickedly, and the scene around their faces fades to black as the opening guitar riff of &quot;A Hard Day's Night&quot; is heard. The faces themselves are half-hidden in shadow and in black and white, a la the Beatles album With the Beatles, but the shadows are on the opposite half]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:(Cut to the group of screaming young girls, very frightened, different than screaming fans from the 1960s as the parody tune of A Hard Day's Night plays]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' Yes, screaming girls everywhere ran screaming whenever the Beat-Alls made the scene. ''[the foursome come into view and walk single file along a crosswalk, in a scene reminiscent of the Beatles' album Abbey Road]'' Individually, it had been a long and winding road. ''[they enter the National Trust Bank]'' But together, the Beat-Alls, or the &quot;Bad Four&quot;, as they were also known, had finally conquered Townsville.
:'''Mojo''': ''[points his laser gun at the tellers]'' Now give me money! That's what I want!
:''[She piles cash on the counter]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' Their rise to fame can be attributed to their ability to deliver hit after hit after hit... ''[the girls arrive]'' ...to the Powerpuff Girls.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice'' Ah, I should have known better.
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' With Mojo Jojo on blaster rays...
:'''Mojo''': Better run for your lives if you can, little girls! ''[fires his laser gun at the girls, who cry out in pain as they are hit]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' The acidic spit stylings of Him...
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' Goo goo '''GOT YOU'''! ''[spits a beam at the Girls, who still cry out in pain]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' Princess accompanying Mojo on blasters...
:'''Princess''': You say stop, but I say go, go, GO! ''[fires her blasters from her hands at the Girls, who cry out in pain the third time]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' And Fuzzy, the shy one...
:'''Fuzzy''': ''[straining]'' I'm gonna let you down and leave you flat! ''[throws the rock and crushes the girls, silencing them]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' ...provides the rock. ''[the tellers regard the scene with fear, and the Beat Alls take a bow with their loot]'' Thus the Brutish Invasion had begun. ''[the girls are blasted and crushed as the parody tune of A Day in the Life plays]'' Again... ''[they're blasted and crushed again]'' and again... ''[they're blasted and crushed for the last time]'' and again... ''[the camera turns up to show the Beat-Alls leaning over a balcony railing and smiling down at their latest victory, reminiscent of the Beatles' album Please Please Me]'' ...the girls were defeated by the Beat Alls. ''[cut to an ornate room, looking out the open door. The girls are in the doorway, somehow completely unharmed]'' Till eventually, ''[they disappear]'' the girls stopped showing up entirely. ''[camera turns around quickly; we see a flash of a terrified crowd before the Beat-Alls are seen on a stage, pummeling a band whose members bear a striking resemblance to the Beatles]'' And the Beat Alls had a ticket to ride.
:'''Mojo''': ''[to the audience]'' Will the people in the cheap seats, please leave! And the rest of you, hand over your jewelry!
:''[Hands holding watches, necklaces, and rings reach up into view. Cut to a quick succession of B&amp;W head shots of each villain in various goofy poses]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' Having finally bested the Powerpuff Girls, the Beat-Alls rushed to the top of the charts of the Most Wanted list. ''[four rows of five photos each, one villain per row, appear on the screen with the word &quot;WANTED&quot; above them. The scene cuts to the police station]'' When questioned, authorities had this to say.
:''[Close-up of a tall, white-mustached, ornately dressed policeman, who resembled to Old Fred from Yellow Submarine, at a podium, with microphones set up before him]''
:'''Sgt. Pepper''': Thank you. My name is Sergeant Pepper of the Townsville Police, and at the request of my commanding officers, I'd like to make this statement. ''[clearing throat]'' Help! We need somebody! Help! Not just anybody! Help! We need the Powerpuff Girls! ''[clearing throat again]'' Thank you.
:''[Cut to the reporter, who narrated the whole scene, outside the Powerpuff Girls' house]''
:'''Stuart Best''': So there you have it. The Beat-Alls have taken over; the girls have taken off. Will they return? Perhaps, perhaps not. But as they say, tomorrow never knows. I'm Stuart Best, and this has been A Day in the Life.
Buttercup: Ugh! Turn it off! ''[the TV is turned off]'' Who would make a stupid documentary about the Beat Alls, anyway?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Girls! Girls! I read the news today. Oh boy...
:'''Blossom''': ''[reading]'' 'Beat-Alls crash Mr Kite's benefit. Powerpuffs nowhere in sight.' So what?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Oh, girls...Yesterday all our troubles seemed so far away. Now it seems as though they're here to stay. Sitting here eight days a week, everyone seems to think you're lazy. I don't care, I think they're crazy. But you used to be running everywhere at such a speed! Now you think there's no need.
:'''Buttercup''': There isn't!
:'''Bubbles''': If we can't stop the Beat-Alls...
:'''Blossom''': We're never saving the day again.
:'''Professor Utonium''': Oh, you can't do that. What will Townsville do when they look for the girls with the sun in their eyes and they're gone?
:'''Blossom''': But what can we do?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Well, first of you have to realize that the Beat-Alls are just a rock band.
:'''Girls''': Huh?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Fuzzy, he does that- that- rock thing. But that's not important. What ''is'' important is this: Mojo Jojo was a man who thought he was a loner, but he knew it couldn't last. He's just getting by with a little help from his friends.
:'''Buttercup''': Are you saying we should try to break up the Beat-Alls?
:'''Bubbles''': Is that possible?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Sure. I'm certain that it happens all the time.
:'''Girls''': But how?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Listen: Do you want to know a secret? ''[whispers in the girls ears]''
:'''Narrator''': Sounds like the Professor has some magical mystery tricks up his sleeve!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mojo and his new girlfriend, Moko Jono, are both screeching loudly. Him, Princess and Fuzzy are covering their ears]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Mojo?! Mojo?! ''[demonic voice]'' '''MOJO!'''
:'''Mojo''': WHAT?!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' I still don't get it!
:'''Mojo''': The louder you yell, the more pain it causes the listener! AND! THEIR! PAIN! IS! OUR! PLEASURE!!!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''UGH! MOJO, ''YOU'RE'' THE PAIN!'''
:'''Fuzzy''': YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN!
:'''Princess''': WE QUIT!
:'''Mojo''': WHAT?!
:'''Him, Princess and Fuzzy''': ''WE QUIT!''
:'''Mojo''': GOOD, GOOD! BUT EVEN LOUDEEEEER!
:''[Him, Princess and Fuzzy leave in annoyance]''
:'''Fuzzy''': Now what do we do?
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate and demonic voice]'' Let's [[w:Get Back|get back to where we once belonged]].

==Season 4==
===Him Diddle Riddle [4.1]===
:''[After the girls solve the first riddle]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Congratulations! One down, eight to go. And remember, you must solve these riddles within the time limit. Fail in any aspect and ''[demonic voice]'' '''the Professor will pay!'''
:'''Buttercup''': You tell us where the Professor is, Him!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Ah-ah-ah. You've brought joy to the people for so many years. Now to their eyes, you must bring tears. ''[demonic]'' '''You've got two minutes.'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the second riddle]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Very clever! Oh, you got that one without trying. Now do this without flying! Go to the corner of Chang and Ching, there on the street the phone will ring. What then, you might ask? Answer the phone to get your next task. ''[demonic]'' '''You've got three minutes!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the third riddle]''
:'''Blossom''': We did it, Him. Now what?
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Well, well. Presidential Fitness Awards all around. ''[demonic]'' '''Now let's excercise your brain!''' ''[effeminate]'' Train A left Pokey Oaks train station at 11:40 at a hundred miles per hour. Train B left Norwalk Station 10 minutes later at 90 miles per hour heading towards Train A. ''[demonic]'' '''Where will they collide?'''
:'''Bubbles''': Math?! I hate math!
:'''Blossom''': Bubbles! Think of the Professor!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' You've got one minute!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;  
:''[Blossom is doing math on an abacus after Him tells her that she's got 1 minute]''
:'''Buttercup''': Can't you abacus any faster?
:'''Blossom''': &quot;Abacus&quot; my butt!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the fourth riddle]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Well, girls, you caught these two trains right on time.
:'''Blossom''': We're finished with this nonsense, Him! Now where's the Professor?
:'''Him''': But I've only just started! In the ear of corn, you will find happiness, joy, and the ties that bind. Squirrels store nuts and birds sing songs, but in the Cave of Eternity, everyone's wrong. On the limb of a tree, there's a monkey who's free, and there he will give you something for me. ''[demonic]'' '''You've got two minutes; 45 seconds!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the fifth riddle, which ironically, took place during the commercial break. The girls are panting from exhaustion as Him licks an ice cream]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' I can't believe you got that one right! ''[resumes licking]'' You got the right flavor and everything! ''[resumes licking]''
:'''Blossom''': We'd go to the ends of the Earth for the Professor!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Touching.''' ''[effeminate]'' Now here's something I hope you'll really enjoy!
:''[Two Ms. Keanes are tied in a rope, hanging on top of a vat of boiling sharks]''
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': Ms. Keane!
:'''Him''': Yes'm! The real Ms. Keane will tell you the truth. The fake one will tell you a lie. Discover which is your beloved teacher and she'll be saved. Fail, and they both will be dropped into this vat of boiling sharks.
:'''Ms. Keanes''': Girls, help!
:'''Him''': You may ask them only one question. So make it count! ''[demonic]'' '''45 seconds! Go!'''
:'''Bubbles''': This one’s easy! All we have to do is ask which one is the real Ms. Keane.
:'''Blossom''': Not quite, Bubbles. The one that lies will just tell us she’s the real Ms. Keane.
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah, don’t be stupid, Bubbles. I’ll just ask which one wants a knuckle sandwich!
:'''Blossom''': Same problem, Buttercup. We need a question they’ll have to answer differently.
:'''Bubbles''': I know, I know! Let’s ask what their favorite color is.
:'''Buttercup''': And just where will that get us?
:'''Bubbles''': I bet it'd be nice to know.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Not so easy, is it? ''[demonic]'' '''Time’s running out.''' 
:'''Blossom''': Ooh, ooh! I know, I know! Ms. Keanes... who will the other Ms. Keane say is the real Ms. Keane?
:''[The two Keanes exchange a nervous glance]''
:'''Keane 2''': She would say that I was the real Ms. Keane!
:'''Keane 1''': And she would say that she was the real Ms. Keane!
:'''Blossom''': It’s so apparent! It’s obvious that the liar would say that the real Ms. Keane would say that the fake Ms. Keane is the real Ms. Keane. And conversely, the real Ms. Keane would say that the fake Ms. Keane would say she is the real Ms. Keane. So therefore, the real Ms. Keane is none other than... number two! ''[Bubbles and Buttercup look at Him who is stunned]''
:'''Him''': ''[shrugs]'' She’s right.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the sixth riddle]''
:'''Blossom''': Bring on the next riddle, evil dude! I'm smoking!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''You think you're so smart?''' ''[makes himself and the girls appear at Pokey Oaks Kindergarten classroom; effeminate]'' Then let's see how good you are on the SAT's!
:''[Bubbles and Buttercup glare at Blossom]''
:'''Him''': Considering your educational level, you must collectively score 100 points. ''[demonic]'' '''You have one minute. Begin.'''
:''[Buttercup chews nervously on her pencil, Blossom breezes by it, Bubbles start to fill in the scan-tron in the shape of a flower]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Time's up! Put your #2 pencils down and pass your papers forward. Let's start with Buttercup's results, shall we?
:''[Ding]''
:'''Him''': 25.
:'''Blossom''': Haha!
:'''Him''': Next, Blossom's.
:''[Ding]''
:'''Him''': 10.
:'''Blossom''': What?!
:'''Buttercup''': Ha!
:'''Him''': And finally, Bubbles. 
:''[Holds up test]''
:'''Blossom''': Oh, no...
:'''Buttercup''': The Professor's a goner!
:''[Bubbles' score is 1075, much to everyone's surprise]''
:'''Blossom''': Huh?
:'''Buttercup''': Huh?
:'''Him''': Huh?
:'''Bubbles''': Ha!
:'''Him''': Well, I'll be darned. ''[demonic]'' '''You will not defeat me, you little brats! The Professor ''will'' pay!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the seventh riddle, a lizard monster appears in the city]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Let's see if you can defeat this monster.
:'''Blossom''': No problem.
:'''Him''': Ah-ah-ah. You didn't let me finish. You must get rid of this little guy without using your superpowers.
:'''Blossom''': Again, no problem.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the eighth riddle]''
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''NO!!! You brats shouldn't have gotten this far!'''
:'''Blossom''': One riddle left, Him, and the Professor is good as ours!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' We'll see, won't we? You will find your Professor when you solve this last rhyme: &quot;Where is boiling and freezing at the same time?&quot;. ''[Laughs]'' The Professor ''[demonic]'' '''''will'' pay!''' ''[effeminate]'' 30 seconds.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the final riddle, they confront Him at the Otto Time Restaurant, where the Professor is also at]''
:'''Blossom''': They're at the at the Otto Time Diner! ''[looks at the clock]'' And we're out of time! ''[The girls bust through the door]'' Okay, Him! Hand over the Professor!
:'''Professor''': Girls!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Too late, girls. You failed. ''[demonic]'' '''The Professor is going to pay!''' ''[laughs]''
:'''Professor''': No!
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': Professor...
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Time to pay.''' ''[suddenly rings up a cash register; effeminate]'' That'll be 7.95, please.
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': ''[stunned]'' Say wha...?!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' You see, I bet the Professor here a free breakfast if you girls could solve all my riddles. But you failed. ''[demonic]'' '''And now he has to pay full price!'''
:'''Professor''': Here's your money, Him. Your flapjacks are good, but not that good. I'm never eating here again! Come on, girls. Let's go eat at the other restaurant.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Wait! Wait, come back! I'll make my flapjacks cheaper!
:'''[The Powerpuff Girls stare at the camera, stunned and confused]''
:'''Narrator''': ''[just as confused]'' And so...hmm...ugh... yeah.

===Flim Flam [4.2]===

===All Chalked Up [4.3]===
:'''Bubbles''': Huh?...Hey! You erased my drawing!
:'''Mitch''': Um...sorry. ''[Buttercup now stands nearby]''
:'''Buttercup''': What are you apologizing for?! She shouldn’t draw her stupid pictures on the blacktop if she doesn’t want ’em played on!
:'''Bubbles''': I have every right that you do to be here!
:'''Buttercup''': Oh, yeah?! Well, I don’t—
:'''Bubbles''': I don’t care what you think!
:'''Buttercup''': A playground is for playing!
:'''Bubbles''': And drawing is playing, you ninny!
:''[They start to argue at full voice, and other kids turn to watch. Blossom does likewise]''
:'''Blossom''': Huh?
:'''Children''': Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
:''[As they chant, they gather in a ring around the two squabbling sisters. Blossom, floating behind the group, moves in for a closer look and then pushes her way to the front]''
:''[Blossom breaks up a fight between Bubbles and Buttercup over drawing over a playground]''
:'''Blossom''': All right, break it up, break it up! What's going on here?
:'''Bubbles''': Well, she started it!
:'''Buttercup''': She was the one drawing all over the place!
:''[Buttercup and Bubbles resume arguing with each other]''
:'''Blossom''': SHUT UP! ''[Bubbles and Buttercup stop arguing]'' Bubbles, you first.
:'''Bubbles''': Well, I was just minding my own business, drawing--
:'''Buttercup''': You see?
:'''Blossom''': Buttercup, let Bubbles finish!
:'''Mitch''': Just fight already!
:'''Bubbles''': Buttercup has to share the blacktop just like everyone else.
:'''Blossom''': That sounds fair to me.
:'''Buttercup''': ''[losing it]'' No way! I'm not sharing nothing! This is the playground! There's plenty of paper in the classroom! She doesn't need to fill the blacktop with her scribbles! You know what I think of Bubbles and her drawings?! YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?!! ''[Destroys Bubbles' chalk by crushing it]'' That's what I think.
:''[Bubbles looks down at the fragments and drops to her knees, her head bowed in sadness. A moment later, she lifts her face, now rearranged into an expression of raw anger. Cut to behind her as she slowly rises to her feet and Buttercup smirks at her. We hear her breathing hard, and in a close-up, she is sweating buckets and looking as if about to go over the edge once and for all. She snarls and reaches toward her sister as if to strike her, but the fury evaporates in an instant, unable to bring herself to do it. It is replaced by a desperate struggle to keep her composure, whimpering as her wobbling mouth and the tears leaking from her tightly closed eyes readily attest. After several seconds of unbearable tension, her self-control completely shatters and she explodes. The camera follows her as she flees the scene and heads into the woods, crying all the while. Overhead view of a tree stump in a small clearing. She flies in and collapses by it, face down on its surface, to cry herself out]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bubbles is exploring a magical, colorful world of chalk]''
:'''Bubbles''': Oh, I love each and every one of you! What is this magical place?
:''[A butterfly, with Him's face on it, appears; Bubbles doesn't recognize Him]''
:'''Him''': ''[speaking in a crossover between a squeaky voice and his effeminate voice]'' We've been waiting a long time for you, Bubbles.
:'''Bubbles''': You have?
:'''Him''': Oh, yes! We've been waiting for the perfect time to welcome you to our world!
:'''Bubbles''': How long have you been here?
:'''Him''': As long as you have had imagination. And as you can see, we have a present for you.
:''[He reveals a chalk box]''
:'''Bubbles''': The chalk!
:'''Him''': Yes, the chalk. And you can help us make our world even more beautiful!
:'''Bubbles''': Ah, shucks. I couldn't do that.
:'''Him''': Oh, yes, you can! Isn't that right, friends? All we need is your imagination!
:''[He makes himself and Bubbles appear in a blackboard]''
:'''Bubbles''': Where are we?
:'''Him''': The whole world is your canvas. And here, you can draw anything you want with your magical chalk! Try it.
:'''Bubbles''': But what do I draw?
:'''Him''': Draw anything you feel. Draw what makes you happy.
:'''Bubbles''': Hmm. What makes me happy? ''[She draws a flower on the board]'' There! How's that?
:'''Him''': Good! But now, watch. ''[The flower grows more large petals]'' Draw some more. More happy things!
:''[Bubbles draws on the board a bird's nest on a tree with a mother bird on the nest]''
:'''Bubbles''': There!
:'''Him''': Look! ''[The eggs hatch into baby birds]'' See what your imagination can do? Draw, draw! ''[Bubbles draws a beach with a sunset, seagulls and a school of fish]'' Well, what do you think?
:'''Bubbles''': I've never drawn prettier things! They light up my life!
:'''Him''': Well, there's more to it than just happy little drawings.
:'''Bubbles''': What do you mean?
:'''Him''': Artists draw all of their feelings.
:'''Bubbles''': Like a happy feeling.
:'''Him''': Well, not just happy feelings. Haven't you ever been frustrated, sad? How about angry?
:'''Bubbles''': No.
:'''Him''': No?
:'''Bubbles''': Never.
:'''Him''': Never?
:'''Bubbles''': No!
:'''Him''': No?
:'''Bubbles''': No, never!
:''[She suddenly realizes she's becoming angry and covers her mouth]''
:'''Him''': Aha! It's okay to be angry, and it's important to express it. Let's wipe the state clean. ''[The beach drawing disappears]'' Now, remember when Buttercup destroyed your chalk at the playground?
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah, that wasn't very fair.
:'''Him''': That's right! Now get your chalk. Let's draw that feeling.
:'''Bubbles''': What does it look like?
:'''Him''': Draw a big scribble. Hard and fast. More! More! Harder, faster! ''[Bubbles does as she has been told]'' How does that make you feel?
:'''Bubbles''': Better, I guess.
:'''Him''': Good! Now draw some more. Draw how Buttercup made you feel. Who is she to tell you what to do? Push her around? Feel your anger. ''[Bubbles, feeling her anger, draws monsters on the blackboard]'' Did you get all your anger out?
:'''Bubbles''': Yes! ''[Pants]'' I had no idea I could express myself like that.
:'''Him''': Neither did I.
:''[Him vanishes]'' 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[As the chalk monsters attack Pokey Oaks Kindergarten]''
:'''Blossom''': EVERYONE GET INSIDE!! ''[All the kids run into the classroom. A giant chalk turtle smashes the classroom's roof]'' EVERYONE GET OUTSIDE!!
:''[The kids run back outside]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[As the girls try to defeat the monsters by erasing them with erasers, but to no avail]''
:'''Bubbles''': He can't do that!
:''[Him, still in the form of a butterfly, appears; Bubbles still does not recognize Him]''
:'''Him''': ''[squeaky and effeminate voice]'' I think he can.
:'''Bubbles''': Oh! Thank goodness you're here! I drew all these monsters and they came to life. But now you're here and you can help.
:'''Him''': But why would I help you, when this whole thing was ''[instantly transforms into his normal form; demonic voice]'' '''MY idea?!'''
:'''Bubbles''': ''[Gasps]'' It was you! You made me do this!
:'''Him''': ''[putting his arm around Bubbles; effeminate]'' Au contaire. I just provided the chalk.
:'''Blossom''': You leave Bubbles alone!
:'''Him''': It was ''you'' who draw monsters! 
:'''Bubbles''': Get your claws off me!
:''[She releases himself from Him's grasp]''
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''That's good!''' ''[effeminate]'' Express that anger, just like before! Remember how good it felt?
:'''Bubbles''': Okay, I will!
:'''Blossom and Buttercup''': No, Bubbles, wait! ''[Bubbles uses her chalk and eraser to turn the chalk turtle into a happier turtle, much to Him's shock]'' Go, Bubbles!
:''[Bubbles then uses the chalk to turn all the other monsters into happy drawings. Him is enraged]''
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''No! No! NO!!'''
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': All right!
:'''Him''': '''You can't do that! You're supposed to express your anger!'''
:'''Bubbles''': I am. I'm just expressing it in a positive way. And I think you were more positive when you were a cute...little...butterfly! ''[Uses her chalk to draw on Him, turning him into a butterfly, embarrassing Him]'' What do you think?
:'''Blossom''': Oh, yes.
:'''Buttercup''': Much better.
:''[Him, humiliated and defeated, becomes enraged]''
:'''Him''': '''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!'''
:''[He vanishes, defeated]''

===Get Back, Jojo [4.4]===

===Members Only [4.5]===
:'''Mascumax''': Men of Earth! Witness the coming of... MASCUMAX! Breaker of men! Taker of worlds! Be there any true men amongst thee?! Step forth and bring thy manhood against mine own, so that we might see who has the upper hand upon the measuring stick!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mascumax has been defeating the male superheroes easily]''
:'''Mascumax''': Fools! I feed off your expulsions of manliness! The more manhood you bring against me, the harder I become!
:'''Blossom''': Hey, buff! Why don't you try some Powerpuff?
:'''Mascumax''': What? Little girls?! ''[laughs]'' Shouldn't you be home learning how to be mommies?!
:'''Buttercup''': Ugh, ''this'' stuff again?
:'''Blossom''': Look, this planet is our home, and mommies are ready to clean house!
:''[They land several successful blows on Mascumax and knock him down]''
:'''Blossom''': All right, ladies, let's do some ''real'' cookin'! Form Furious Flaming Feline!
:''[The girls form a cat-like shape made of fire, which leaps at Mascumax, setting him on fire, and rubs against his leg]''
:'''Mascumax''': AAAAAAAARGH!!! NOOOOOOO, IT CANNOT BEEEE!!!
:'''Blossom''': If you can't take the heat, then stay out of the kitchen!
:''[Mascumax chickens out, transforming back into hotrod mode and flying back into space]''
:'''Mascumax''': ''[sobbing]'' WAAAAAHAHAHAAA!!! MOMMY, THERE WAS SOME GIRLS, AND THEY WERE BEING MEAN TO ME!!!

===Nano to the North [4.6]===

===Stray Bullet [4.7]===
:''[The Powerpuff Girls induct their new member]''
:'''Blossom''' : May I have your attention, please!  Friends!  Family!  Esteemed colleagues!  We are gathered here today for a momentous occasion!  Bubbles, translate.
:'''Bubbles''': Oh yeah. Cheep cheep, cheep cheep. Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep.
:'''Blossom''': Today, for the first time ever . . .
:'''Bubbles''': Cheep, cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . we have discovered an individual . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . . cheep cheep, cheep cheep cheep cheep, cheep cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . whose bravery . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . . cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . strength . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . .cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . and agility . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . . cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . have proven her worthy to be a member of our exclusive organization . . .
:'''The Powerpuff Girls''': THE POWERPUFF GIRLS!
:'''Bubbles''': CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP! Hey, Professor! Clap!
:'''Professor Utonium''': Hm? Oh, uh, yay!
:'''Blossom''': And so, dubbed with the appropriate 'B' name . . .
:'''Bubbles''': Cheep cheep, cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Buttercup''': Bruce begins with a B!
:'''Blossom''': Shh! . . . I hereby dub thee . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . . cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . Powerpuff Bullet!
:'''Bubbles''': . . . Cheep cheep --- Cheep cheep!
:'''Professor Utonium''': Woo hoo, yeah! [hoots] Ha ha ha, yeah! [hoots]

===Forced Kin [4.8]===
:''[The invading robot has repeatedly outsmarted Mojo, defeated the Girls, and wrecked much of Townsville, including Mojo's volcano laboratory]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No! My laboratory, home to all my evil plans and devices... destroyed!
:'''Robot''': Earth creatures, the destruction of your dwelling area is now complete. I am now your new leader.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[shaking with shock and outrage]'' NOOOOOO! That is ''my'' line! ''I've'' always wanted to say that!
:'''Robot''': And you will now bow down to me. ''[Townsville's people are shown bowing]'' Yes, just like that.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No! No! '''NOOOO...!!!''' 
:''[Mojo's eyes pop and glow, and he goes completely berserk, prancing around, gibbering and shrieking like a wild chimpanzee as the robot watches]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[eyes glowing again]'' '''YOU!!! HAVE!!! BROKEN!!! MY!!! ''DREEEEAMS!!!'''''
:''[He leaps at the robot, delivering several powerful punches, finally knocking it down with a blow to the head with the loaf of bread from Miguel's Market. He then pulls its lower leg back, making it cry out in pain and pound the ground]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Say it! SAY IT! '''SAY IT!!!'''
:'''Robot''': ''YOU'' ARE THE MOST EVIL! ''[collapses again]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': And don't you forget it!

===Knock it Off [4.9]===
:'''Professor Utonium''': When were you in New York?
:'''Blossom''': Yesterday.
:'''Buttercup''': (&lt;i&gt;whispering&lt;/i&gt;) No, today.
:'''Blossom''': I mean... today.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': What happened to Professor Dick and the other Powerpuff Girls?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Well, Old Dick may have gotten the formula right, but the one ingredient that he forgot was &quot;love&quot;. Let's go home, girls.
:'''Professor Dick''': (&lt;i&gt;screaming while dying&lt;/i&gt;) '''NNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!'''

===Super Friends [4.10]===
:''[The girls introduce their new friend Robin to Professor Utonium]''
:'''Bubbles:''' He made us in his laboratory by accident.
:'''Professor:''' Yes, uh... well, it was sort of an accident...
:'''Robin:''' That's okay, Professor. I was an accident, too! ''(his eyes widen)'' Your dad is funny!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess:''' Hey girls, let me be a Powerpuff Girl for a day and you could ride in Daddy's limo with me to school!
:'''Blossom:''' No thanks, Princess. We'd rather walk with our new friend, Robin, to school.
:'''Princess:''' Very well then. You obviously don't know a thing about first class travel...... how 'bout 5 bucks?
:'''Blossom:''' ''[Resting her hands on her hips]'' Would that be 5 bucks to ride in your limo, or 5 bucks to be a Powerpuff Girl?

===Keen on Keane [4.11a]===

===Not So Awesome Blossom [4.11b]===
:[''During a battle between Blossom and one of Mojo's robots'']
:'''Blossom''': Okay! It's just you and me! Let's see what you got!
:[''She blows a raspberry at the robot'']
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''The Professor read's Mojo's note over the hotline'']
:'''Professor''': &quot;Bubbles, Buttercup or whichever of the two remaining Powerpuff Girls has answered the hotline, listen closely. Pay attention. Consentrate intently on the words coming from my mouth. I, the Professor, am being held prisoner. I am being kept against my will in a location not of my choosing. If you desire my safe return you must...&quot; Oh, excuse me. Could you please move you finger?
:'''Mojo''': Sorry.
:'''Professor''': Thank you. &quot;...come to the lair of Mojo Jojo together, not alone. Indepently...&quot;
:'''Buttercup''': I think we need to go to Mojo's and save the Professor.
:'''Bubbles''': Again?!

===Power-Noia [4.12]===
:''[Blossom is trapped in a dream world of Pokey Oaks Kindergarten with an evil version of Ms. Keane and the schoolchildren, trying to make Blossom fail to answer questions. Ms. Keane suddenly starts laughing in Him's voice, and she and the schoolchildren suddenly turn into small copies of Him. Blossom makes the connection and becomes determined to face her fear]''
:'''Blossom''': ENOUGH! ''[Him/Ms. Keane and the schoolchildren stop laughing]'' Next question.
:'''Him/Ms. Keane''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Sure, next question. ''[demonic voice]'' '''What is the square root of seven?!'''
:''[Him and the schoolchildren laugh]''
:'''Blossom''': Seven doesn't have a square root. It's prime! 
:''[Everyone stops laughing]''
:'''Him/Ms. Keane''': '''That is...''' ''[effeminate]'' correct. What is the algebric formula for determining the area of a triangle?
:'''Blossom''': Half the base times height!
:'''Him/Ms. Keane''': That's correct. If a train leaves Boston at 12:30pm traveling at 75 miles per hour, and another train leaves Los Angeles at the same time traveling at 90 miles per hour... ''[demonic]'' '''which one will get to Cuba first?'''
:'''Blossom''': Neither! Trains don't go to Cuba, &quot;Ms. Keane&quot;!
:'''Him/Ms. Keane''': ''[effeminate]'' Well, how perspective of you. Oh, well. ''[throws question cards away; demonic]'' '''Tests bore me. You think you're so smart, don't you?'''
:'''Blossom''': I outsmarted you, didn't I?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After overcoming their greatest fears, the Powerpuff Girls finally confront Him, in the form of a giant, multiple-headed, multiple-tenctacled crossover of a crab and spider]''  
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Oh, Blossom! You're always so logical! How droll! ''[giggles evilly]'' Here I am! Sorry it took me so long. I wanted to slip into something more...sinister! You have been such good fun, but now you're starting to bore me. And I'm afraid playtime is over! I ''[demonic]'' '''know your deepest, darkest fear.''' ''[effeminate]'' You are afraid ''[demonic]'' '''YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME!!'''
:'''Blossom''': Let's teach him a lesson!
:'''Buttercup''': Whatever! That guy's toast!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Two heads are better than one! 
:''[The girls and Him fight each other in a large fierce battle. Eventually, Him loses the battle, and is beaten up by the girls, turning him back into his normal form and size. The girls look at a scared Him, pleading for his life]'' 
:'''Him''': Please! No more! Don't hurt me! I don't understand. ''[demonic]'' '''I was so close!''' ''[effeminate]'' I almost had you! You are supposed to be afraid!
:'''Blossom''': Guess you should've done your homework, weirdo!
:'''Bubbles''': We're sisters and we love each other!
:'''Blossom''': And we're not afraid of anything as long as we have each other.
:'''Buttercup''': Gimme a break, you two! Yab-yab-yab! Can I toss this guy, already?
:''[Pause]''
:'''Blossom''': Oh, okay.
:'''Him''': No, wait! It's cool! It's cool! Everything's cool! ''[Buttercup, not listening to Him's pleading, punches Him in the face, causing Him to fall into a black hole of nothingness]'' NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

==Season 5==
===See Me, Feel Me, Gnomey [5.6]===
:'''Bossman''': ''[Singing]'' Townsville's goin' down! I'm gonna throw this paper on the ground!
:'''The Mayor''': ''[Singing]'' The babies can grow, and the little old folks, can walk real slooo-ho!
:'''Professor''': ''[Repeated line, singing]'' Do the people have to be freedom beef?
:'''The Gnome''': ''[The only unsung words in the entire episode, falling down to his demise]'' As I descend to the Earth, and I view the universe above me, I realize that life revolves, evolves, and dissolves, completely around the opposites. Therefore, I conclude that I cannot exist in my Utopian... ''[Closes his eyes]'' mind... ''[Hits the ground]''

==='Twas the Fight Before Christmas===
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Who would want a stupid old BB gun? 
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': ''[gasped]'' Princess!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Besides, you'll shoot your eye out. ''(cut to her)'' Since my daddy buys me anything I want, I only have one thing on my list for Santa: to be a Powerpuff Girl!
:'''Blossom:''' ''[to Princess]'' Don't hold your breath, Princess.
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' What? Why?!
:'''Bubbles''': Because Santa has his own list, and he checks it twice. It says who's naughty and who's nice.
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' So?
:'''Bubbles''': Duh! You're naughty!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[gasps]'' Nuh-uh!
:'''Blossom:''' Yeah-huh!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Nuh-uh!
:'''Buttercup:''' Yeah-huh!
:'''Princess Morbucks''': NUH-UH!!
:'''Bubbles''': YEAH-HUH!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Prove it!
:'''Blossom''': You bought the city and legalized crime!
:'''Buttercup''': You hired Mojo to try and destroy us!
:'''Bubbles''': You gave us a bomb for our birthday!
:'''Buttercup''': You teamed up with three felons and went on a crime spree!
:'''Bubbles''': You tricked our friend Robin into stealing! And then you tattled on her!
:'''Blossom''': You're a spoiled brat who's greedy and jealous! And you don't care who you step on to get what you want!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' And your point is?
:''[The Powerpuff Girls sit back down and sigh in frustration; then the bell rings]''
:'''Blossom''': The point, Princess, is that you better change your ways or all you're ever gonna get from Santa is a big, fat lump of coal in your stocking.
:''[Princess starts shaking angrily. But suddenly that sound of the Santa doll snaps her out of it. Pull back to show the toy walking slowly towards her; when it is within striking distance, she boots it hard enough to break it and send springs flying]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Spoiled?! Greedy?! Bratty?! Naughty?! NAAAAAUGHTYYYY?!?!? DRIVER! Do you know what those rotten old Powerpuffs said to me today?! They said I was naughty! Can you believe that?
:'''Driver:''' ''(coughs)'' Yes. ''[coughs]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Me?! Naughty?! I'm not naughty, am I?!
:'''Driver:''' Well, uh, I'll... oops! Seems my finger has slipped! ''[closes the window]'' Phew! That was close.
:''[The phone rings; the driver hesitates and slowly picks up the phone]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[on the phone]'' WELL?!? YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION!!
:'''Driver:''' KKKKKHHHH! You're-you're-you're breaking up! KKKKKHHH-KKKKKKKKHHHHH! I'm going through a-unnel! -Alk-late-
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[bangs on the window and sticks her head out]'' NO, WE'RE NOT!! I'M IN THE CAR, YOU TWIT!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Servant, tell me. Do you think that I'm naughty? ''[his eyes dart nervously about before her next word shakes the entire room]''  '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;WELL!?&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;'''''
:'''Servant''': ''[stammering]'' I think my...biscuits are burning. ''[dashes off]''
:''[Princess fumes and knocks her soup bowl aside]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Nanny!
:'''Nanny''': Yes? ''[forcing a smile]'' Sweetheart?
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Am I naughty?
:''[Tense pause]''
:'''Nanny''': Time for bed! Lights out. ''[runs off and The lights go out as the door to the hall slams. Princess glares after her for a moment]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Wait! I need another pillow! ''[pause; silence]'' Fine! I'll just go get it myself! ''[gets up from her bed to get another pillow and gets crushed by a bunch of coal]'' Naughty, huh? I'll show you who's naughty! ''[throws a piece of coal]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Well, this time, I am gonna be a Powerpuff Girl! ''[slams the door open]'' And I'm sure not gonna let some elf with a weight problem stop me! ''[gets into a cart driven by her driver]'' Ha! We'll show them! And I'll show those Powerpukes who's naughty and who's nice!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' So now every kid in the world gets coal! And I get what I've always deserved: ''[turning around; zoom in]'' To be a Powerpuff Girl!
:''[She fires lasers from her eyes; the girls bear the full brunt of this assault and drop like rocks, landing face first in the snow to cut three Powerpuff snow angels into it. They quickly emerge]''
:'''Buttercup''': This is so wrong! ''[Close-up of the other two]''
:'''Blossom''': How could Santa believe that Princess is nice?!
:'''Bubbles''': Excuse me?! How could Santa believe that I am naughty?! ''[Pan slightly to Buttercup]''
:'''Buttercup''': 'Cause you snooped on other people's presents!
:''[Bubbles gives her a hard sidelong glance of tranquil fury and takes a second or two to get herself under control]''
:'''Bubbles''': Look. I already told you, I only looked 'cause we didn't have any presents, so I wanted to see if any other kids had any presents.
:'''Blossom''': Enough chatter, girls. We better find Santa and fast.
:''[They start to take off into the night, but Princess blocks their exit]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Oh, no, you don't. ''[Zoom in slowly on her]'' I knew you conceited little ingrates wouldn't be able to accept the fact that Santa thinks you're naughty.
:''[On the end of this, cut to Blossom and Buttercup trading a suspicious look - they are starting to figure out the scam. Princess moves in a bit closer to the girls]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' But I'm not gonna let you brats ruin my Christmas.
:'''Buttercup''': ''[moving in on her]'' Forget it, Princess. We're so gonna tell Santa on you!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[sweetly, flying away a short distance]'' Not if I tell on you first.
:''[She leaves a yellow light trail behind her]''
:'''Bubbles''': We didn't do anything?
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Oh, yeah? ''[pitifully, hamming it up]'' &quot;Oh, Santa Claus, as the only nice child in the whole world, I felt it was my duty to warn you about the three naughty girls who were so angry you gave them coal...&quot; ''[Cut to them, bristling at this; she continues, offscreen]'' &quot;...that they're coming to destroy your workshop and ruin Christmas forever.&quot; ''[Back to her; she takes on the sweet tone again]'' Oh, Santa...
:''[She gives them her biggest and most vicious grin, drops to a rooftop, and bounces off it to head for the city proper, her laughter echoing in the air.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Santa Claus''': ''[angrily]'' Ho, ho, ho! ''[shift to frame all five]'' What's with all the crashing and the smashing, and the smashing and the crashing? Huh? I'm out delivering coal all night long, and I come home to the Smashing-and-Crashing Gang?!
:'''Bubbles''': But...
:'''Santa Claus''': Uh-uh! No buts! I ain't listenin' to no buts from some no-good naughty kids! And no no-good little naughty kids are gonna tell me what's what! 'Cause guess what? ANSWER ME!!!
:''[The four cringe at Santa's screaming]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[nervously]'' Uh...
:'''Santa Claus''': That's right! First time, first time it's ever happened. ''[walking to his computer]'' Every last little no-good, good-for-nothin' kid in the stinkin' world was naughty! ''[voice breaking]'' Naughty! Naughty! Naughty little kids the world over! ''[Princess Morbucks peeks in]'' Except for one. One nice sweet little girl.
:'''Buttercup''': You're wrong!
:'''Santa Claus''': ''[angrily]'' Oh, I am, huh?! ''[turning to them, holding printout]'' Well, I's gots the list, baby. Check it!
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Yeah! Check it! ''[kicks it over, sending a cascade of pages unfolding from the accordion stack toward the girls to bury them. They pop out, inspect different sections, and gasp at what they find: Remember, this is the &quot;nice&quot; list that was falsified]''
:'''Santa Claus''': Yeah! A million bazillion good-for-nothin's on this list! ''[holding up Post-It from his monitor]'' And one little itty bitty, perfect little angel over here.
:'''Princess Morbucks''': ''[sticking tongue out]'' Nyah! 
:'''Bubbles''': That's not right! Maybe you didn't check the list twice!
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah! Princess is the naughtiest kid ever!
:'''Blossom''': She must've snuck up here and switched the lists!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' NUH-UH!! Santa, don't listen to them! ''[points at the Powerpuff Girls]'' They're just jealous 'cause they got coal! ''[Powerpuff Girls stare at her angrily]'' They're jealous 'cause I'm nicer, I'm smarter, I'm prettier, and I'm better than them! So they wouldn't let me be a Powerpuff Girl! THAT MAKES THEM NAUGHTY!! ''[points at the girls]''
:'''Santa Claus:''' ''[remembering the girls]'' You mean ''the'' Powerpuff Girls? Not the same Powerpuff Girls who are always helping people and saving the day and being really good? I mean, REALLY good! ''[the Girls smile and nod]'' Yeah! Yeah! See, that explains all the flying and floating and stuff!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' '''AHEM!!''' ''(Santa turns around)'' '''BUT ''I'' SHOULD BE A POWERPUFF GIRL!!! ME! Not them! Me! MY DADDY SAYS I'M BETTER! MY DADDY SAYS I'M THE BEST! AND IF YOU'RE TOO MUCH OF A FATHEADED FATHEAD TO SEE THAT, I'LL TELL MY DADDY!''' ''[She flies into another room]'' '''AND HE'LL COME AND BUILD A PARKING LOT OUTTA THIS CHEAP.. LITTLE..''' ''[She kicks 2 toys]'' '''ARTS AND CRAFTS...''' ''[She throws another toy]'' '''POPSICLE STAND OF YOURS!!''' ''[She breaks another toy]'' '''GET IT?!''' ''[She flies up to Santa]'' '''SO YOU BETTER GIVE ME WHATEVER I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS, 'CAUSE MY DADDY SAYS I GET WHATEVER I WANT! WHENEVER I WANT IT! AND IF THAT MEANS ALL OF THOSE LOUSY, WORTHLESS, SECOND RATE BARGAIN BASEMENT BRATS OF THE WORLD DON'T GET ANYTHING FOR CHRISTMAS, THEN THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONNA HAVE TO BE!! 'CAUSE I AM BETTER THAN THEM!! AND IT SAYS SO RIGHT HERE!!''' ''[She grabs a note and puts it up to Santa's face]'' '''SO PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT, SANTA CLOD!!!'''
:''[There is a shockful silence for a few seconds; suddenly, Santa gets really angry]''
:'''Santa Claus:''' '''LIST SCHMIST!!! I DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' LIST TELLIN' ME WHO'S NAUGHTY AND WHO'S NICE!!''' ''[He grabs the note and starts tearing it up]'' '''YA KNOW WHY?! 'CAUSE I'M SANTA CLAUS!! CHECK IT! PRINCESS...''' ''[He grabs Princess by the ear]'' '''YOU HAVE GONE AND WORKED OFF MY LAST NERVE!'''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! ''[She starts rubbing her ear]''
:'''Santa Claus''': I have no other choice. You are so rotten, SO despicable, so naughty, I'm putting you on the... ''[points up at a really big and tall naughty list]'' '''PERMANENT NAUGHTY PLAQUE!!!''' BUM BUM BUMMMMMMMM!
:''[Princess gasps in unmitigated fear, knowing that justice is about to be served. Extreme close-up of Santa's lifted index finger and follow it slowly through the air as he brings it to his nose. He touches the tip; a flash of snowflakes, and Princess' name is now cut into the metal as well, signifiying her permanent naughty status for the rest of her life. She screams in horror at the sight; back to Santa, his arms folded in finality]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': '''AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! I'M TELLING MY DADDY!!!'''
:''[She takes off and smashes an exit for herself through the office wall. Visible only as a bright speck, she makes a beeline for the distant mountains. Santa and the girls move closer to the hole to watch her go. He turns to them, holds up his finger without a word, and touches it to his nose. Cut to the fleeing Princess who, in a flash, suddenly finds herself back in her street clothes. She soars along a few hundred yards more before realizing that she has been stripped of her powers, then loses her forward momentum and drops from sight with a sharp gasp. Screaming, she plummets toward the snowy expanse and plows deep into it. A second later, she slowly emerges from the hole, with snow covering her from head to toe, and forces her eyes open through the covering. Pull back into the office; she cannot be seen from this far away]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': '''NO FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIR!!!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Princess flies in front of Buttercup, who is shocked; Princess then slaps her]''
:'''Buttercup''': Ow! Quit it!
:''[Princess slaps her again]''
:'''Buttercup''': Ow! Quit it!
:''[Princess slaps her once again]''
:'''Buttercup''': Ow! Quit it!
:''[An annoyed Buttercup jumps on Princess' back and kicks her far away from herself]''
:'''Buttercup''': QUIT IIIIIIIIIT!!!!!
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Thanks, Einstein!
:''[Buttercup stares at Princess, but then Blossom and Bubbles grab her]''
:'''Blossom''': Good job, Buttercup.
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah, nice one.
:'''Buttercup''': Oh, shut up!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Now, if I were a big, fat, bearded oaf, where would I keep that stupid list?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks''': ''[Referring to Santa]'' Who does that blimp think he is denying ''me'' presents?! Ohh!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Buttercup''': ''[To Bubbles]'' I'm busy.
:'''Blossom''': Doing what?
:'''Buttercup''': Writing my wish list for Santa.
:'''Bubbles''': Are you crazy?! You're only giving him 2 days to prepare?! And that's even if he gets it on time!
:'''Buttercup''': Oh, yeah? When did you send yours, Smarty Pants?
:'''Bubbles''': December 26.
:'''Buttercup''': Ha! That's ''after'' Christmas!
:'''Bubbles''': December 26, last year!
:''[She blows Buttercup a raspberry]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Professor''':  Every year, it's the same darn thing! I can make three little kids out of seasoning, but I can't get these lights to work!

===The Boys are Back in Town [5.5]===
:'''Narrator:''': And their day, the girls even manage to humble... HIM.
:''[In his lair, Him is angrily watching the Powerpuff Girls on TV having saved the day once again]''
:'''Buttercup''': ''[On TV]'' Yeah, it was rough in the beginning, but I paced myself and just wore the monster down.
:'''Blossom''': ''[On TV]'' We were just glad to be of service. Good job, girls!
:'''Him''': ''[mocking Blossom; effeminate voice]'' &quot;We were just glad to be of service. Good job, girls!&quot; ''[demonic voice]'' '''Blah! Blast the Powerpuff brats! They disgust me! So ''effortless!'' They seem to be unbeatable.''' ''[effeminate]'' All these years, and all the villains have produced nothing. So much time, such little results. ''[demonic]'' '''There ''must'' be a way. There must be someone who can knock those brats down to size!''' ''[groans and sits down on his chair; effeminate]'' Oh, boy. ''[suddenly sees something on the TV and slowly smiles; demonic]'' '''Oh, ''boy''...'''  

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Rowdyruff Boys have been resurrected (complete with meaner-looking hairstyles)]''
:'''Blossom''': The Rowdyruff Boys?!
:'''Buttercup''': But that's impossible!!
:'''Bubbles''': We blew you guys up!
:'''Brick''': ''[Smirking]'' Yeah? Well, you can't stop a good thing, babe!
:''[The Girls suddenly start to snicker]''
:'''Brick''': Stop laughing! What are you laughing at?!
:'''Blossom''': ''[Mocking; her hands are on her hips]'' Ooooh(!) Look who's back with mean hair(!)
:'''Bubbles''': ''[Mocking]'' Oh, whatever shall we do?
:'''Buttercup''': ''[Mocking]'' How can we defeat their scary new hairdos?
:''[Boomer naively inspects his hair, while Butch twitches, eager to fight. The Girls continue to laugh, and Brick gets more and more irritated until he finally snaps.]''
:'''Brick''': '''''SILEEEEEEEEEEENCE!!!!!''''' ''[the Girls stop]'' You stupid, wimpy, lame-o girls ''talk'' too much!
:'''Blossom''': &quot;STUPID&quot;?!
:'''Buttercup''': &quot;WIMPY&quot;?!
:'''Bubbles''': &quot;LAME-O&quot;?!
:'''Brick''': You girls just got lucky last time. This time, there's no way you're gonna beat my boys!
:'''Butch''': Butch!
:'''Boomer''': Boomer!
:'''Brick''': And me, Brick!
:''[Boomer sees a fly buzzing over his head, and playfully swats at it]''
:'''Brick''': ''[annoyed]'' Pay attention!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[giggling]'' Are you guys sure you're ready for another beating?
:'''Boomer''': ''[trying to sound tough]'' You girls are gonna eat your words, spit 'em out, and eat 'em again!
:'''Blossom''': ... That doesn't even make sense.
:'''Boomer''': I know you are, but what am I?!
:'''Buttercup''': Enough! Talk is cheap! Let's do this!
:'''Butch''': ''[snickers dementedly]'' This is gonna be fun!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Blossom''': All right, girls. I think we know what we have to do. Let's give 'em some sugar!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[eagerly]'' Ooh, ooh, I want the blonde! I think he's cute!
:'''Buttercup''': ''Man'', you're weird!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Brick''': Your [[w:cooties|cootie]]-kisses only make us bigger!
:'''Boomer''': Stronger!
:'''Butch''': And tougher!
:'''Brick''': ''[laughs]'' You stupid lame-o girls never learn. Now it's time to put these babies to bed!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Him interrupts the fight between the Powerpuff Girls and Rowdyruff Boys]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Hello, girls!
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': ''[gasp]'' Him!
:'''Him''': So nice to see you again! How's things? Not so good? Having a little boy trouble, hmm? Or should I say... ''[demonic]'' '''BIG boy trouble?!'''
:''[The Boys - now huge after being kissed by the Girls several times - land behind Him]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Hello, Boys. ''[demonic]'' '''You're doing just fine.''' ''[to the Girls, effeminate]'' So, how does it feel, Girls, to know defeat is just around the corner... ''[demonic]'' '''and victory for me is at hand?!'''
:'''Blossom''': So ''you're'' behind this, Him! What did you do to make our kisses powerless?!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Oh, that. That's my little secret. You see, I realized that the Boys' only weakness ''[demonic]'' '''was your pathetic little kisses. And since I''' ''[effeminate]'' knew you would resort to that, I added a little something extra: a cootie vaccination! &quot;[[w:Circle Circle Dot Dot|Circle, Circle, Dot, Dot; now you have a cootie shot!]]&quot; ''[laughs]'' I got the spell off the Internet. But your kisses aren't totally useless, girls. ''[demonic]'' '''They make my boys bigger and more powerful!''' ''[laughs; effeminate]'' At last, I win! Have fun, girls! Ta-ta!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Brick''': You calling us STUPID?!
:'''Boomer''': We'll show you stupid! ''[Boomer crosses his arms and smiles proudly. Brick slaps him]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[After the Powerpuff Girls finally defeat the Rowdyruff Boys by shrinking them down to size, Him comes back, angry]''
:'''Him:''' ''[demonic]'' '''CAN'T YOU LITTLE BRATS DO ''ANYTHING'' RIGHT?! I SENT YOU TO DESTROY THEM, AND WHAT DO YOU DO?!''' ''[effeminate]'' You get all ''sissified''! 
:''[With a wave of his claw, he makes the Boys vanish. The Girls smile in triumph]''
:'''Him''': Oh, don't look so smug, girls. Though you may have won this time, ''[Aku voice]'' '''it was a lucky victory and you know it!''' ''[effeminate]'' In time, you ''[Aku voice]'' '''will''' ''[effeminate]'' fall, and we ''[Aku voice]'' '''will''' ''[effeminate]'' defeat you! So keep on your toes, stay alert, ''[Aku voice]'' '''and watch your back... because the boys are back in town!''' ''[vanishes in a spiral of smoke, laughing]''
:'''Blossom''': Oh, boy...
:'''Narrator''': &quot;Oh, boy&quot; is right! It seems the battle of the sexes has begun! Let's just hope the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!

===Bubble Boy [5.9b]===
:'''Brick''': ''[he and his brothers drank 3 cans of soda]'' Man, beating up people for fun is really fun!
:'''Boomer''': Yeah! Beating up people for fun is really fun! ''[Brick throws a can in Boomer's face]'' Ow!
:'''Brick''': Dude! That's the dumbest thing you said all DAY!
:'''Boomer''': Well you said the same thing!
:'''Brick''': Yeah, but it sounds COOL coming out of my mouth!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Boomer''': I don't care what they say; I'm ''not'' as dumb as I look.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': What are we going to do?
:''[Bubbles is now dressed as Boomer]''
:'''Bubbles''': Well, how do I look?
:'''Boomer''': ''[Boomer is now in his underwear]'' Boy, do you look dumb!
:'''Blossom''': Need we say more?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom''': Gee, Professor, you sure outdid yourself with that containment ray.
:'''Professor''': I'll say! Once again, I have no idea what I did!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': ''[as Boomer]'' Uh, hi! It's me, Boomer, your brother!
:'''Brick''': We ''know'' you're our brother. We're not as stupid as you!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Brick''': I know, let's punch each other in the face until someone says, “Hey, stop punching me in the face.” You first, Boomer. ''[punches Bubbles, who is posing as Boomer.]''
:''[Brick and Butch laugh; Bubbles gets teary-eyed]''
:'''Buttercup''': Don't cry, Bubbles. You'll give yourself away.
:'''Bubbles''': Heh, funny. Okay, my turn.
:'''Brick''': Nah, I'm sick of that game.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Bubbles sprays &quot;Flowers are pretty... dumb!&quot; on a wall]''
:'''Butch''': For a second there, I thought you were turning girly on us.
:'''Brick''': Yeah! And &quot;dum-buh&quot;?  Geez, Boomer, if you're gonna do graffiti, at least spell the words right!  Sheesh, talk about &quot;dum-buh&quot;.
:'''Butch''': Yeah! What a &quot;dum-bee&quot;!
:''[Brick &amp; Butch laugh]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Brick''':Hey, I thought you loved cock-a-roaches. Don't you looove cock-a-roaches?
:'''Bubbles''': ''[forcing a smile]'' Well..sure. Sure I do. I love those little guys.
:'''Brick''': Hey, I believe you. That's why you have no problem... EATING IT!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Professor''': ''[after Bubbles captures the Rowdyruff Boys on her own]'' Bubbles! I could hardly contain myself hiding in the closet.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Professor''': ''[after Bubbles apologizes]'' That's alright, Bubbles. I'm sorry you had to eat a cockroach!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[who is still posing as Boomer]'' That's okay, it tasted like CHICKEN!

===The City of Clipsville [5.8b]===
:'''Blossom''': Come on, girls. It's from the time that the Professor accidentally turned us into babies.
:''(During this line, WD to the exterior of the house at night; when the transition occurs, the rest of her words are heard as a voice over. The scene is very peaceful—until a huge explosion erupts from the ground and hides the entire structure. When the smoke clears, we see the Professor in the lab. He is covered with soot and holding a beaker of liquid, and both he and the area are in a state of total disarray. Close-up of his face)''
:'''Professor''': ''(reassuringly)'' Oh, don't worry about the noise, girls. I've just invented a potion that will keep you young foreve— (cuts himself off on this last word upon looking down toward the floor. Cut to his feet, where the girls have undergone a dramatic transformation: they are now infants in diapers, and his mixture worked a bit too well. Safety pins in the respective colors of Bubbles and Buttercup can be seen fastening those two girls' diapers, but the camera angle obscures the one on Blossom’s. She wears her bow but no ponytail, and she is bawling at the top of her lungs sports a single tuft of blond hair at the top of her head and sucks on a pacifier. Buttercup has only a bit of straight black hair and shakes a rattle discontentedly. A flash of white, and we are back to the present)''
:'''Bubbles''': ''(laughing)'' Oh, yes, now I remember.
:''(Flash to this same bit of history. Close-up of the Professor's upper body as he lifts baby Blossom partially into view; she is still crying)''
:'''Professor''': There, there, now. Just let it all out. ''(a pronounced squelching sound is heard, and she sighs with relief and smiles, losing steam)'' There, doesn't that…feel...ugh...better? ''(turn down a bit to show Blossom’s diaper, which she has filled so much that it hangs down almost to his waist. The sound just heard needs no explanation. Close-up of his head and shoulders; he lifts her into view and starts patting her back to burp her. Now her hair can be seen—short, red-orange, with a puff in back that marks the start of a ponytail)'' Oh, aren't you just a little angel? ''(she coos happily and spits up; he grimaces at the sound of it. WD to the present. Blossom has put the bottle away)''
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah. And remember how the Professor turned everyone into babies?
:''(WD to a close-up of an exhausted Professor, out in the city, and pull back. Throngs of squalling infants are heard from o.c. initially, and the source of the din is revealed to be exactly that. He holds several babies, including a top-hatted one that can only be the Mayor and another, with curly red-orange hair, who must be Ms. Bellum. Around him are enough newborns to populate the entire city. WD to the present)''
:'''Blossom''': And remember when we lost our superpowers?
:''(WD to Mojo, laughing from the hatch of a helicopter. In his hand is a briefcase labeled &quot;TOP SECRET GOVERNMENT STUFF.&quot; He hoists himself into the pilot’s seat; pull back to show him lifting off from the roof of a building—the Top Secret Government Headquarters. The girls run out of an access door on the roof and look up after him; close-up of them)''
:'''Blossom''': Let's get him!
:''(They run o.c. toward the edge. Pan in that direction to show nothing but Blossom's bow spinning in midair, as three terrified screams echo and fade away. They have jumped off the roof and gone into free fall instead of taking flight; the bow follows them down. WD to the present)''
:'''Blossom''': ''(smiling)'' Yeah. That got messy.
:'''Buttercup''': Hey! Remember when we sped up time and became teenagers— ''(she picks up a small item and opens it, revealing it to be a makeup compact. Zoom in on her)'' —and wore makeup and gave up crime-fighting and hung out at the mall and stuff?
:''(During the end of this line, there is a WD to the exterior of the Townsville Mall. The rest of Buttercup’s words are a voice over after this point. Zoom in on the entrance and dissolve to a point near the high, glass-domed ceiling. Turn down to the sound of music on the PA system and the mingled voices of the customers. In the background, two girls have their backs to the camera and are leaning over a railing to look down at the lower floors. The fact that neither girl has any visible fingers gives them away as teenaged versions of Blossom and Bubbles. When they speak, they sound like Valley Girls)''
:'''Teen Bubbles''': Oh, my gosh! Check it out. (turning toward Teen Blossom; she wears makeup) She is, like, so wrong in those pants. ''(blows a bubble from a wad of gum)''
:'''Teen Blossom''': Like, yeah, girlfriend. ''(her cell phone goes off, playing the show's main theme as its ring tone, and answers it)'' Hello? Oh, my gosh. We were just talking about you! Where are you?
:'''Teen Buttercup''': Over here.
:'''Teen Blossom''': Oh...hey. So you going to Todd's tonight?
:'''Teen Buttercup''': I don’t know. I gotta get on the treadmill. I just majorly pigged out on a donut. ''(sighs)'' If they only had, like, candy-flavored salad or something. ''(her eyes go wide as she lowers her phone. Flash to the present; all three girls are a bit uneasy at this memory. Buttercup has put the compact away)''
:'''Buttercup''': And then we discovered boys.
:''(Flash to the two teens on their phones. Teen Buttercup hunches over hers)''
:'''Teen Buttercup''': ''(hushed)'' Blossom! Look!
:''(They lower the phone and gaze raptly toward the camera for a long moment. Cut to their perspective: a patch of floor, with three long shadows cast on it from a distance in front. Turn up slowly to their source—the Rowdyruff Boys as teens)''
:'''Teen Bch''': ''(reading a magazine)'' Wow.
:'''Teen Bubbles''': ''(on her phone)'' Tell me about it. Like, that's what I said. Hang on a sec—
:'''Teen Blossom''': ''(nudging her)'' Bubbles, quick! Look!
:''(Teen Bubbles turns her head; close-up of her as she drops the phone and her eyes pop. Cut to Teen Boomer, who is drinking a soda. He drains it, sighs contentedly, and directs a come-hither look at the camera. All three girls are positively smitten)''
:'''Teen Bubbles''': ''(hushed)'' Oh, we shouldn't talk to them. They're bad.
:'''Teen Blossom and Teen Buttercup''': ''(smiling wickedly)'' I know.
:''(Cut to Teens Bubbles and Boomer together. The lower portion of the glass dome is in the background)''
:'''Teen Boomer''': So...wassup?
:'''Teen Bubbles''': Oh, um...you know...hangin' out. ''(two patrons scream; she laughs)'' What's up with you? 
:''(The monster lashes outs its tongue, smashing through the dome, and snaps someone up. The teens do not notice as it swallows)''
:'''Teen Boomer''': You know...hangin' out. ''(the monster sinks out of sight)''
:'''Teen Bubbles''': ''(laughing)'' For sure.
:''(Back to her sisters; their counterparts sidle up to them)''
:'''Teen Butch''': So wassup, ladies?
:'''Teen Brick''': You goin' to Todd's tonight?
:''(Behind them, a couple of gun-toting robbers run to the entrance of a jewelry store and stop briefly. One of them directs a hand signal o.c. behind himself. The teens pay no heed)''
:'''Teen Blossom''': Um...I have to study for an algebra test. ''(the robbers enter)'' For my English class. ''(several others follow)'' What are you doing?
:''(The sound and flash of automatic weapons fire emanate from the store)''
:'''Teen Brick''': Uh...going to Todd's.
:'''Teen Blossom''': ''(laughing)'' Oh! ''(explosion, alarm, and the robbers run out with the loot)'' What a coincidence.
:''(He seems a bit annoyed at her clueless response. Cut to Teens Bch and Bcup. Behind them, a man fiddles with an ATM)''
:'''Teen Buttercup''': So what are you driving now? ''(the man runs o.c.; the machine starts to beep)''
:'''Teen Butch''': Oh, I'm rockin' a new Escalade. ''(sparks fly)'' Wanna take a ride?
:'''Teen Buttercup''': Uh, that's okay. ''(the ATM explodes)'' We rode the one up from the first level.
:''(Teen Butch is nonplussed; the man and a partner run through the smoking hole in the wall)''
:'''Teen Butch''': Yeah, I just put an MP3 player in it.
:'''Teen Buttercup''': Oh, cool! I love that game.
:''(He is caught off guard by this non sequitur. Behind the two, the smoke clears and the men emerge, fleeing with a wagonload of cash. Cut to the exterior of the mall and pull back slowly, as explosions ravage the surrounding buildings)''
:'''Teen Buttercup''': ''(from inside)'' How about you, Blossom? Wanna take a ride on Butch's escalator?
:'''Teen Blossom''': ''(from inside)'' Sure. What floor?
:''(A flying saucer pulls into view and starts shooting at the skyline, and a large red beast, with lobster claws in place of hands, roars as it stomps into view. WD to the present)''
:'''Buttercup''': Boy, were we dumb.
:'''Blossom''': Yeah. Let's remember something else.

===Toast of the Town [5.2a]===
:'''Mayor of Townsville''': Mayor want toast! Mayor want toast!
:'''Professor Utonium''': Look I'm a scientist not a mechanic, what you need to do is take your toaster to the manufacturer and have a certified mechanic fix it.
:''[Mayor starts to get mad]''
:'''Mayor of Townsville''': MAYOR WANT TOAST! MAYOR WANT TOAST!
:'''Professor Utonium''': ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I'll have a look at your toaster. But the I've got to get back to my experiments.
:'''Mayor''': Oh, goody, goody! ''[starts to jump up and down] Is it done yet?
:'''Professor''': No.
:'''Mayor''': How about now?
:'''Professor''': No
:'''Mayor''': Now?
:'''Professor''': No.
:'''Mayor''': Now it's done right?
:'''Professor''': No, no, no, it's not done. Look, I don't really know what I'm doing,so it's gonna take a while.Why don't you just wait over there,and I'll let you know when I'm finished.
:'''Mayor''': Oh...OK.
:'''Professor''': And don't touch anything!
:'''Mayor''': ''[peeps over the table]'' Ooh...What does this button do? ''[presses the button, which starts an alarm. Then there's a rumble. He walks over to where the professor is and there was an explosion. The blast pushed the Mayor and the Professor in his chair away]'' Whee! Do it Again! Do it again!
:'''Professor''': Oh, no. You're gonna sit right here, be a good little Mayor, and stay put while I work on your toaster. And if you're quiet, you can have some candy. Good boy. ''[puts the mayor in a highchair, and gives him a jar full candy. Then he starts rattling in the jar]
:'''Mayor''': Say, these are all lemon! Somebody ate all the Goody cherry candies! ''[throws jar on the ground]'' Mayor want cherry! Mayor want cherry!
:'''Professor''': ''[runs to him with an industrial size bag cherry candies]'' Here, cherry. ''[gives him the bag]''  Now please, let me work in peace. ''[walks away]''
:'''Mayor''': Oh, goody! Oops. Uh-oh. ''[runs under the table and crawls under to get the candy]'' Ooh! Another shiny button! ''[presses the button and the lab begins to shake]'' Help! ''[the lab stops shaking]'' Huh? ''[Chemical X is changed]'' Ooh!
:'''Professor''': ''[working on the mayor's toaster and removes his shades]'' Mayor? He's being too quiet. ''[sneaks inside]'' Mayor? What are you ''[alarmed]'' DOING?!
:'''Mayor''': ''[humming, puts the chemical x on his head]'' Mayor want hair.
:'''Professor''': No! Mayor, stop!
:'''Mayor''': Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Mayor gotta hair! Mayor gotta hair! Yummy 'X' powder made Mayor's hair grow! ''[looks around]'' Professor. Professor?
:'''Professor''': Your hair wasn't the only thing that grew, Mr. Mayor.
:'''Mayor''': ''[looks down]'' Wowie zowie. 
:'''Professor''': Wowie zowie, indeed. Have you no shame? A grown man your age gallivanting around like a little child, not doing what you're told! &quot;Mayor wanna this. Mayor wanna that.&quot; You, Mr. Mayor, are nothing but a baby, a big, big, big baby.
:'''Mayor''': ''[crying like a baby]'' Wah! Don't say that! Wah! ''[runs off]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom''': Professor! What's going on?
:'''Professor''': Oh, it's the mayor, girls. He got into my chemical X so I scolded him, and now he's run off pouting.

==Season 6==
===Custody Battle [6.7a]===
:''[Mojo sees the Rowdyruff Boys for the first time since they've been revived]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The Rowdyruff Boys?! This is not possible! How is it that something that was destroyed can exist again?! I demand an explanation as to how something that was destroyed can exist again!
:''[The Boys exchange looks.]''
:'''Brick''': Duh! Nice hat, dorko!
:''[The Boys laugh and high five each other.]''
:'''Mojo''': How dare you talk to your father that way?! 
:'''Rowdyruff Boys''': Father?!
:''[They laugh even harder, until Him suddenly appears behind the boys]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Yes, it seems that the boys have a new father now! 
:'''Mojo''': What?!
:'''Him''': ''I'' brought the boys back, so ''I'' am their father now!
:'''Mojo''': Incorrect! The Rowdyruff Boys were ''my'' idea, which means ''I'' was the original creator! Yes, it was I who originally created them, which means it was ''I'' whose creativity led to the origin of the idea which resulted in the creation of them! Therefore, the idea originated before the actual creating began, resulting in total origination of all creativity!
:'''Brick''': ''[Scratching his head mockingly]'' Yeah... I didn't get that the first time. Can you repeat that?
:''[The Boys laugh and high five each other again. Him laughs along with them]''
:'''Him''': I'm sorry, Mojo. But your creation was destroyed by the Powerpuff Girls. ''[demonic]'' '''And would probably still be destroyed''' ''[effeminate]'' if ''I'' didn't revive them! Besides, seeing how ''I'' made them better, they should ''[demonic]'' '''remain mine!'''
:'''Mojo''': Better?! How can you make Mojo Jojo's design of the Rowdyruff Boys any better?!
:''[Him laughs]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' By making them immune to the Powerpuff's girly kisses! Now they ''can't'' be destroyed by the mere talk of cooties! ''[demonic]'' '''So why don't you run along, chimp-chump?!'''
:''[Mojo loses his temper]''
:'''Mojo''': Those boys were created to do pure evil, which makes ''me'' the more fit father, since I ''am'' pure evil!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Oh, I'm sorry! But nobody does evil ''[demonic]'' '''THE WAY I DO!'''
:'''Mojo''': That is not so!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Is so!
:'''Mojo''': Is not so!
:'''Him''': Is so!
:'''Mojo''': Is not!
:'''Him''': Is so!
:'''Mojo''': Is not!
:'''Him''': Is so!
:'''Mojo''': Is not!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Is so!'''
:'''Mojo''': Is not!
:'''Him''': '''IS SO!'''
:'''Mojo''': Very well, then! Since you will not acknowledge that I, Mojo Jojo, the original creator of the Rowdyruff Boys, who were originally created by ''me'', and the more evil father, you leave me no alternative but to ''prove'' that ''I'' am the more evil father, therefore making ''me'' the better parent!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Fine, then! ''[demonic]'' '''And ''I'' will prove that ''I'' am the evilest parent!'''
:'''Mojo''': Very well, then!
:'''Both''': ''[Him; effeminate]'' Let the evil begin!   
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' Behold! The TRCP-800.
:'''Boomer:''' You mean &quot;Totally Rad City Pulverizer&quot;?
: ''[Mojo gives him an exasperated look.]''
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' No, dum-dum.
:''[Brick hits Boomer.]''
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' &quot;The Remote-Control Pickle&quot;!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Brick:''' You mean &quot;we can blow things up and stuff? 
:'''Mojo:''' Mmm-hmm.
:'''Brick:''' Anything?
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' Anything.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Him prepares to blow up the sun, destroying the Earth in the process]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Splendidly evil, ''[demonic]'' '''isn't it?'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Evil?! How about STUPID?! Yes, thanks to your foolishness, we will be reduced to nothing! Nothing! Like the amount of intelligence inside your head! Nothing! Like the amount of respect I get after ''6 SEASONS ON THIS SHOW''!!! 
:''[Him turns the sun back to normal]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No, you are ''not'' the more evil parent! You are the more STUPID parent, which makes you unfit to be the father of these boys!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Is not so!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Is so!
:'''Him''': Not so!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Is so!
:'''Him''': Not so!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Is so!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Not so!'''
:'''Rowdyruff Boys''': SHUT UP!!!
:'''Brick''': We don't care which one of you is more eviler, or more stupider, or whateverer! There's only one evil thing we care about, and that's destroying the Powerpuff Girls!
:'''Rowdyruff Boys''': ''[give a group high five]'' Yeah!
:'''Brick''': Let's go!
:''[The boys fly to Townsville. Mojo and Him begin to cry with joy]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': My... that's the evilest thing I can imagine.
:'''Him''': ''[sniffs; effeminate]'' All you can do is raise them the best you know how, and hope they turn out right.
:'''Mojo Jojo and Him''': ''[to each other in unison]'' I'm so proud of them!
:''[The two villains put an arm around each other]''
:'''Narrator''': And so, with Mojo and Him finally happy together, the day is doomed, thanks to... the Rowdyruff Boys.

===Simian Says [6.9b]===
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''[after kidnapping the Narrator and taking his place]'' The city of Townsville. A city that, while being a city, is for some inexplicable reason called &quot;Town.&quot; And not only is it called a &quot;Town,&quot; but also a &quot;Ville,&quot; thus making it a city, town, and village, which seems to me to be redundant and repetitive, which can be quite annoying if you ask me, which you have no choice but to do, for now I, Mojo Jojo, am in charge of... the city of Townsville!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Buttercup:''' In the stomach or in the face?
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' How about a third type of opinion?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom:''' Something feels not right.
:'''Bubbles''': We beat up Mojo...
:'''Buttercup''': And saved the day...
:'''Blossom''': But, what? ''[They think for a moment]''
: ''[The sound of muffled cries is heard.]''
:'''Bubbles''': Hey, girls! Look!
:''[He points to a door and Blossom opens it. She then pulls off a piece of tape from the mouth of someone out of the scene.]''
:'''Narrator:''' OW! Oh, girls, thank goodness it's you! I can finally end this nightmare! So once again the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!
:'''Buttercup:''' I knew something was missing!
:'''Blossom:''' Goodnight, folks!
:''[Long pause as the girls simply float on the ending titles screen.]''
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[Impatiently]'' Now what?
:'''Narrator:''' Er... could I have a ride home?
:'''BBs:''' Of course!

===Nuthin' Special [6.14a]===
:'''Buttercup:''' Huh! Forget it! I ain't got no special skills! I ain't special!
:'''Blossom:''' Aww. Buttercup, you may not have a special power.
:'''Bubbles''': But you're still special.
:'''Buttercup:''' But-- ''[Turns around]'' But-- but nothin'! I thought I had a special power, but I don't! I THOUGHT I WAS SPECIAL, BUT I'M NOT!! SO THERE!!
:''[Buttercup sticks her tongue out at her sisters and curls it; and Blossom look shocked]''
:'''Bubbles''': What did you just do?!
:'''Buttercup:''' What?! Stick my tongue out?! You wanna see that again so you can copy that too?! Well, here!
:''[She sticks her tongue out again and once again curls it]''
:'''Blossom:''' You can...
:'''Bubbles''': Curl your tongue?
:'''Buttercup:''' Yeah, so? What's the big deal? I've always been able to do that. See?
:''[She once again sticks her tongue out and curls it again]''

===Octi-Gone [6.15b]===
:''[last lines of the series]''
:''[Everyone, including Bubbles, Blossom, and Buttercup angrily wait outside the bathroom door, waiting for Mojo.]''
:'''Bubbles:''' ''MOJO!!!'' You get out of there right now! You're nothing but a big party crasher!
:'''Narrator:''' And so once again, the day is saved. Thanks to The Powerpuff Girls and the contaminated cream pie.

=== ''The Powerpuff Girls Movie'' ===
See ''[[The Powerpuff Girls Movie]]'' for quotes on the entire movie

==Recurring Quotes==
:'''Narrator:''' ''[Title Sequence Narration]'' Sugar... spice... and everything nice. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little girls. But Professor Utonium accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction...Chemical X!-- Thus the Powerpuff Girls were born! Using their ultra-superpowers, Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup have dedicated their lives to fighting crime and the forces of evil!

==Voice Cast==
* Blossom - [[w:Cathy Cavadini|Cathy Cavadini]]
* Bubbles - [[w:Tara Strong|Tara Strong]]
* Buttercup - [[w:Elizabeth Daily|Elizabeth Daily]]

==See also==
* ''[[The Powerpuff Girls (2016 TV series)|The Powerpuff Girls]] (2016)''

{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Powerpuff Girls, The}}
[[Category:The Powerpuff Girls]]
[[Category:1990s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated drama TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Superhero comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about families]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about sisters]]</text>
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'''''[[w:The Powerpuff Girls|The Powerpuff Girls]]''''' is an American animated show created by Craig McCracken.  It follows the adventures of Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup, three little girls literally created from sugar, spice and everything nice. Their creator and father, Professor Utonium, adds Chemical X by mistake, giving the girls superpowers. They use their gifts to save the city of Townsville.

== Season 1 ==
8 Episodes by October 18, 1998 - January 1, 1999

=== Episode 1A.Monkey See, Doggy Do ===
:'''Blossom''': Gee, I sure hope we can find a trail.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After changing everyone in Townsville into dogs with the Anubis Head]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': All right, you flea-bitten curs! Heel! I, Mojo Jojo, am your master, and you shall obey my commands like the dogs you are! Because I am your master, it is I who you will obey! Obeying commands is what you will do! I will give you commands, and you will obey them!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom''': Not so fast...
:'''Buttercup''': Mojo...
:'''Bubbles''': Jojo!
:''[The Girls are changed into dogs]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Too late, Powerpuffs! Or should I say, &quot;Power-pups&quot;?

===Episode 1B.Mommy Fearest===
:'''Ima Goodlady''': I thought I grounded you, brats! I'm getting the professor!
:'''Blossom''': We're afraid not, Ima. He's conveniently stepped out.
:'''Buttercup''': And we know you're not such a good lady at all.
:'''Bubbles''': What's in the bag, Sedusa?!? ''(pulls out the wig, revealing that Ima is Sedusa in disguise)''
:'''Narrator''': SEDUSA?!? Who woulda guessed it?
:'''Sedusa''': ''(as Bubbles tries to grab the bag)'' Let go!
:''(The bag opens to reveal the mayor's jewels)''
:'''Bubbles''': Well, What do you know? The mayor's jewels. Nice try, Sedusa, But the game's over!
:'''Sedusa''': ''(in her evil tone)'' HA! Never! ''(in sweet tone)'' I'll just sweet talk that sap with the professor. He'll believe in me ''(in her evil tone)'' AND YOU THREE BUG-EYED CREEPS WILL BE GROUNDED FOREVER! ''(laughs evilly)''
:'''Bubbles''': ''(angrily)'' GROUND THIS!!!
:''(The girls attacked Sedusa)''
:'''Professor''': Oh Girls, I am back from the the stooooOOORE! ''(drops his groceries)'' What's going on here?!
:'''Sedusa''': ''(fake sobbing)'' Oh, Professor. Thank goodness you're back! The girls went just crazy and they all jumped on me when I came home.
:'''Blossom''': ''(angrily)'' No, Professor! It's not true!
:'''Buttercup''': She's really Sedusa!
:'''Bubbles''': And she grounded us so she can make off with the mayor's jewels!
:'''Sedusa''': LIARS! ''(to the Professor, fake whining)'' Professor, Sweetie, you believe me, don't you? Please.. help me. Please.
:''(Professor grabs Sedusa's arms and the girls think they are getting grounded again)''
:'''Professor''': ''(to the Girls)'' Girls, call the police. ''(the girls perked up)'' That crook is not going to deceive us anymore.
:'''Powerpuff Girls''' Yay!

===Episode 4A.Buttercrush===
:'''Ace''': Oh, Powerpuff Girls. Please forgive my foolish friend for his foolish act, for he did not know what he was doing. And I know deep inside my heart that he would never do anything like that ever again. What do you say, girls? Will you forgive him? Will you? Please?
:'''Blossom''': Okay.
:'''Ace''': Thank you. ''[winks at Buttercup]''

===Episode 5A.Boogie Frights===
:''[Being chased by Boogie Man]''
:'''Bubbles''': Buttercup? Blossom? Oh, no! I - I can't do it alone! ''[Crying]''
:'''Professor Utonium:''' ''[in Bubbles' memory]'' ''Bubbles, if you can just face your fears, then I know you can find the courage to beat him.''
----
:''[At the end of the episode]''
:'''Narrator''': So once again, the day is saved!
:''[The Girls appear, sleeping in bed]''
:'''Narrator''': ''[snickers]'' Get it? The ''day'' was saved? Because it was going to be eternal night! They saved the day, literally! ''[laughs]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[wakes up as Buttercup glares through one eye]'' Shh!
:''[Both she and Buttercup go back to sleep; through all this, Bubbles is not disturbed one bit.]''
:'''Narrator''': ''[voice sinks to a whisper]'' Oh, sorry. Thanks to the Powerpuff Girls. Goodnight, everybody.

===Episode 5B.Abracadaver===
:'''Blossom''': Excuse me, Mr. Zombie, sir?
:'''Abracadaver''': Wha—?
:'''Blossom''': Could you stop destroying Townsville with your evil zombie magic?
:'''Bubbles, Buttercup''': Please?
:'''Abracadaver''': ''[gasps upon seeing Blossom]'' You! You're that girl! ''[he imagines her as the girl from long ago]'' Girl with bear!
:'''Blossom''': Huh?
:'''Abracadaver''': YOU RUINED AL LUSION! YOU MAKE THEM LAUGH AT ME, '''''BUT NOW, REVENGE!!'''''

===Episode 6A.Telephonies ===
:'''Narrator''': The city of Townsville! And what a beautiful city she is, full of- ''[a phone rings]'' Oh, excuse me. ''[answers phone]'' Uh, hello?
:'''Ace''': ''[over phone]'' Yeah, listen, jerkface, you good-for-nothin' toad!
:'''Narrator''': You can't talk to me like that!
:'''Ace''': ''[over phone]'' How 'bout this? I think you stink! I can smell ya over the phone!
:'''Narrator''': Why I oughta...who is this! ''[Ace hangs up]'' Hello? Hello?! ''[turns over to the Gangreen Gang who laugh after making prank calls]'' Oh. The Gangreen Gang. Why, you crank-calling, good-for-nothings! When I get my hands on you, I'll...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The Girls break into Mojo Jojo's lair and beat him up]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': WHAT IS THE MEANING OF- ''[they shove the back of his chair down onto him, then throw him against the wall]''
:'''Blossom''': Don't play dumb. We know you've got some evil plot underway.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': What are you talking about?
:'''Buttercup''': Oh, like you don't have a giant robot ready to smash Townsville!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No.
:'''Blossom''': ''[surprised]'' No diabolical plans to destroy the world?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No.
:'''Bubbles''': ''[scared]'' Turning everyone into zombies to scare people?!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh, for crying out loud, NO! I have no intentions of committing any crimes...today.
:'''Blossom''': Then what were you doing before we got here?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Sleeping!
:'''Buttercup''': Before that?!
:'''Mojo''': Reading the paper!
:'''Blossom''': ''[deflated]'' Oh. ''[long pause]'' Well...you better behave yourself, or we'll be back!
:'''Mojo''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh goodness, I'd better not snore.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Fuzzy was relaxing in the bathtub while playing his banjo, when he hears the Powerpuff Girls approaching for the fight]''
:'''Blossom''': Okay, Fuzzy. Prepare to get stomped!
:''[Fuzzy is splashed all over]''
:'''Buttercup''': This is for anything you broke! ''[decks him]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[pulling his antennae]'' This is for anyone you hurt!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[raising the banjo over her head]'' And this is for taking a bath! ''[swings and hits Fuzzy on the head with the banjo, which causes him to sink in the bathtub]''
:'''Buttercup''': ''[realizes]'' Uh-oh. I think maybe he was just taking a bath.
:'''Bubbles''': Fuzzy...?
:'''Blossom''': Um...we didn't mean to... ''[then Fuzzy rises from the bath, towering above them and beet red with anger. They look up at him and smile nervously with a giggle]'' I guess you weren't going crazy. You were just taking a bath.
:''[All three giggle and inch away to one side before dashing off at top speed]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Girls have just broken into Him's lair to find him doing aerobics]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Hello, girls. What a pleasant surprise. Ooh, what's the occasion?
:'''Blossom''': Uh, we were wondering...
:'''Him''': How I stay so fit? Well, now you know.
:'''Blossom''': Uh, no, actually. Did you do anything evil today?
:'''Him''': No, not today. Why do you ask?
:'''Blossom''': No reason, just wondering.
:'''Him''': This figure doesn't come easy, you know. I took a little time off to get into shape.
:'''Blossom''': So, you haven't been...?
:'''Him''': Nope.
:'''Blossom''': ''[chuckling nervously]'' Okay, I guess we'll see you later.
:'''Him''': I guess you will.
:'''Blossom''': Okay, bye, then.
:''[The Girls fly off]''
:'''Him''': Goodbye, girls. Come back soon. Goodbye... ''[picks up the phone and puts it to his left ear]''
:''[Cut to Mojo, who is on the call with Fuzzy]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': All right, alright, Fuzzy, I heard you the first time...I know. ''[the line beeps]'' I kn...hold on, Fuzzy. There's someone on the other line.
:'''Him''': ''[to Mojo Jojo on the phone; demonic voice]'' '''Mojo! It's me'''... ''[effeminate voice]'' Him!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Yes, sir! What is it?
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''You won't believe what just happened.'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The Powerpuff Girls just broke in unexpected?
:'''Him''': '''WHAT?! How did you know?'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The same thing happened to me and Fuzzy Lumpkins. He's on the other line.
:'''Him''': '''Well, put him on!'''
:''[Mojo puts Fuzzy on the line]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': ''[shaking with fury]'' BUSHWHACKED IN MY BIRTHDAY SUIT!!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''This is an outrage!'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': You are right. We're all citizens! Evil citizens, but citizens nonetheless!
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Birthday suit!! ''[cries]''
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''We should complain!'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': But to whom?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The phone rings]''
:'''Big Billy''': ''[answers the phone]'' Hello?
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''I demand to speak with the Mayor!'''
:'''Big Billy''': He's not here right now. Can I take a massage?
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''Do you know when he'll be back?'''
:'''Big Billy''': Uh...I don't know. See, Grubber tricked the Mayor into leaving so we could break in and use the Powerpuff hotline to make crank calls.
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''Huh?!''' ''[effeminate voice]'' You don't say. Well, to whom might I be speaking?
:'''Big Billy''': Uh, this is Billy.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Billy who?
:'''Big Billy''': Big Billy from the Gangreen Gang. Who is this? ''[Him hangs up the phone]'' Hello?
:''[A crash suddenly shakes the room, snapping the Gangreen Gang awake. Him, Mojo Jojo, and Fuzzy Lumpkins have come in, looking enraged]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' So! You guys like to make ''[demonic voice]'' '''crank calls!'''
:''[Him, Mojo, and Fuzzy proceed to beat up the Gangreen Gang]''
:'''Mayor''': ''[mumbling to himself]'' Oh, of all the foolishness. Cut the ribbon, pshaw! ''[stops short and looks on in surprise]'' Oh, my!
:''[There was the battle royal going on in his office, and the mayor tiptoes to the hotline to make a call]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The girls are sleeping at night, when the hotline buzzes]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[picks up the receiver]'' Hello?
:'''Mayor''': ''[over the hotline]'' Powerpuff Girls! You're not gonna believe this! The Gangreen Gang, Mojo Jojo, Fuzzy Lumpkins and Him are fighting right here in my office!
:'''Blossom''': ''[hangs up]'' Yeah, right, Mayor, very funny. ''[tucks herself back in bed]''
:''[The hotline buzzes again, which annoys the girls. Then Buttercup uses her laser eyes to destroy the hotline, before going back to bed]''
:'''Girls''': Goodnight, Professor!
:''[But the professor is still on hold since the beginning of an episode]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Narrator''': So once again the day is saved! Thanks to...Mojo?...Fuzzy?...and Him?

===Episode 6B.Tough Love  ===
:'''Narrator''': Those little scamps are so adorable! How we just love the Powerpuff Girls!
:''[Him is in a bathtub, looking angry]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Oh, how I ''[demonic]'' '''HATE THE POWERPUFF GIRLS!'''
:'''Narrator''': Hate the Powerpuff Girls?! Who could hate the...? Oh, no. Please don't let it be...Him!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Oh, Powerpuff Girls, save us! Oh, Powerpuff Girls, we need you! Oh, Powerpuff Girls, we ''love'' you! ''[demonic]'' '''Powerpuff Girls! Powerpuff Girls!! POWERPUFF GIRLS!!!''' ''[looks at a rubber ducky; effeminate]'' Oh, Mr. Quackers, am I the only one who ''[demonic]'' '''hates those''' ''[effeminate]'' miserable little brats? ''[squeaks his ducky]'' You hate them, too? Oh, I knew I could count on you! But how can I possibly beat them with all that ''[demonic]'' '''love surrounding them?!''' ''[squeaks his ducky; effeminate]'' What's that you say? ''[squeaks his ducky again]'' Yes! ''[demonic]'' '''That's brilliant!''' ''[effeminate]'' Oh, Mr. Quackers, you are ''so'' smart. Quite a positively evil scheme you've hatched. And I'll finally be rid of those girls... ''[demonic]'' '''FOREVER!!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Poor, ususpecting Townsville, all snug in your beds. Unaware of the evil that lurks above your heads. And so, with a flick of my wrist and a twirl of my claw, I'll be rid of those girls once and ''[demonic]'' '''for all.'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:''[Ms. Keane and the students of Pokey Oaks Kindergarten are throwing things at the girls]''
:'''Blossom''': I've heard of class struggles, but this is ridiculous.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Buttercup''': Wow, this has turned out to be one freaky day.
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah. Something strange is going on.
:'''Narrator''': ''[affected by Him's evil gas and yelling]'' Aw, for crying out loud, WOULD YOU THREE SHUT UP FOR ONCE?! Always griping and moaning about something! Sheesh, you give me a headache!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:''[All the citizens of Townsville, all affected by Him's evil gas, are cornering the Powerpuff Girls, preparing to destroy them]''
:'''Buttercup''': Why are you people doing this?!
:'''Bubbles''': Don't you love us anymore?
:'''Blossom''': Yeah, you act as if you, as if you...
:'''Him''': ''[off-screen; effeminate]'' Hate you?
:'''Blossom''': Yeah! Hate us! ''[realizes who responded to her question]'' Wait, who said that?
:'''Him''': ''[appears]'' Why, I did, of course.
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': ''[gasp in horror]'' It's Him!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Right you are, girls!''' ''[appears in front of the Professor; effeminate]'' And right you are about your loved ones. ''[licking the Professor's face]''
:'''Blossom''': Take your claws off of the Professor!
:'''Bubbles''': What's he ever done to you?!
:'''Him''': Oh, it's not what ''he's'' done to ''me'', but what he's ''going'' to do ''[demonic]'' '''to YOU!''' ''[effeminate]'' You see, I've taken all of their love for you and ''[his head rotates]'' tuuuuuurned...it into... ''[demonic]'' '''HATE!''' ''[the girls gasp in horror; effeminate]'' Now they will destroy you. ''[demonic]'' '''And you poor, helpless creatures won't be able to fight back.''' ''[effeminate]'' Because the Powerpuff Girls would never hurt the ones they love. Oh, no, they wouldn't! ''[demonic]'' '''NOW DESTROY THEM!'''
:''[The people of Townsville, affected by Him's evil gas, are battling with the Powerpuff Girls, who are on the losing end, until Buttercup rises and knocks the mob away with one punch, stunning Him]''
:'''Buttercup''': Come on, you guys! Get up and fight!
:'''Blossom''': Buttercup, what are you doing? We can't hurt the ones we love.
:'''Buttercup''': Those people ''aren't'' our loved ones. Our loved ones would never want to hurt us!
:'''Blossom, Bubbles''': ''[getting the point]'' Hey, yeah!
:'''Buttercup''': ''[points to Him]'' They're just pawns in his evil scheme!
:'''Him''': ''[giggles; effeminate]'' Well, you know...
:'''Buttercup''': Which means...
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': Let's get 'em!
:'''Him''': ''[frowns]'' Uh-oh.
:''[After the Powerpuff Girls defeat their loved ones and rid them of Him's evil gas, they confront Him]''
:'''Blossom''': Don't ever make us have to do that again!
:'''Buttercup''': Or it will be your last!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Tsk, tsk, tsk. You girls underestimate me. I never give repeat performances. But I assure you, I'll be back!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:''[At the hospital]''
:'''Blossom''': So now you know why we had to do what we did. We all feel really bad, and hope that you'll forgive us.
:'''Bubbles''': Besides, it hurt us a lot more than it hurt you!
:'''Citizens''': Well now, we wouldn't say that! ''[all laughing]''
:'''Narrator''': ''[laughing, then groaning]'' Don’t worry. We forgive you. Because once again, the day is saved, thanks to The Powerpuff Girls! Oh, nurse, isn't it time for my sponge bath?

===Episode 7A: Major Competition ===
:'''Narrator''': '''THE CITY OF TOWNSVILLE IS ON FIRE!!'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mugger''': ''[holding an old woman at gunpoint]'' Uh... everybody freeze or the old lady gets it!
:''[The crowd gasps in terror]''
:'''Major Man''': Halt, vile villain, or taste the bitter flavor of justice that Major Man will serve you!
:'''Buttercup''': ''[sing-song voice]'' Cor-ny!
:''[The crowd shushes her]''
:'''Mugger:''' I'm sorry, Major Man!  My doctor told me to cut down on justice!  But he did say I could have all the ''greens'' I want!  ''[grabs money from the purse]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Blossom:''' Boy, the hotline hasn't run in ages!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mayor:''' That was so hard to do!  ''[pause]''  Anyway, time to move on and forget about the past!  Gotta make room for the future!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Buttercup:''' Let's beat the stuffing out of him!

===Episode 7B.Mister Mojo's Rising===
:''[Mojo Jojo's letter to the Girls:]''
:Dear Powerpuff Girls,
:I have kidnapped Professor Utonium! I have taken him someplace against his will! If you look for him in the spots he likes to be, you will not find him! He's with me - but not by choice! I took him and he didn't like it!
:This message is from, and was written by, Mojo Jojo.
:'''Bubbles''': Who could have done this?
:''[Blossom and Buttercup look annoyed]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator:''' ''[laughs]'' Wow; talk about ironic!  Professor creates Mojo, Mojo creates Girls!  It's crazy, I tell you.  ''[laughs some more]'' Yeah!  So, once again, the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls, but thanks ORIGINALLY to Mojo Jojo!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' It was me.  It was me.  It was me.  It was me.  It was me.
:''[episode ends]''

===Episode 8A.Paste Makes Waste===
:'''Buttercup:''' '''EAT THIS, PASTE EATER!!!!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Loyd &amp; Floyd:''' ''[frightened]'' Hey, dude........
:'''Mitch Mitchelson:''' What?!
:'''Loyd &amp; Floyd:''' Dude..... Dude....

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[to Elmer, who has turned into a giant paste monster, and is covered in flour; sing-song voice]'' You can't stick to me! You can't stick to me! Nyah nyah nyah-nyah- ''[Elmer grows a hole in his stomach and Buttercup flies through it]'' -Nyah???

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom:''' You know what you have to do!
:'''Buttercup:''' '''No! Anything but that!'''
:'''Blossom:''' Buttercup!
:'''Buttercup:''' No, no, no, no, no! All right! '''ELMER!!'''
:'''Elmer:''' Huh?
:'''Buttercup:''' Uh…I-I-I’m…s-s-s-so-s-s-so-o-o…o-o-r-r…r-r-r-ry!
:'''Elmer:''' ''(normal voice)'' Wh-wh-what?
:'''Buttercup:''' I’m…sorry if I picked on you, and…I’m sorry if I called you a…paste eater.
:'''Elmer:''' ''(sniffs, rubs his nose, and takes Blossom and Bubbles out of the sticky glue)'' Thanks, Buttercup. That's all I ever wanted.

===Episode 8B.Ice Sore===

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': ''(after finding out that Blossom has &quot;ice breath&quot;)'' Make the floor all ice, like in ''[[Tom and Jerry]]''! That's my favorite.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom''': Hi, Pablo!
:'''Pablo''': Blossom, how come your sisters are so mean?
:'''Blossom''': Oh, it's 'cause I have ice power and they don't and they're all jealous.
:'''Bubbles and Buttercup''': Nyah!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''(Blossom has accidentally caused crooks to get away with her ice breath)''
:'''Buttercup''': ''(angrily)'' Way to go, Ice Princess.
:'''Bubbles''': You did a bad thing, Blossom.
:'''Blossom''': I know. ''(flies over to cops she accidentally froze)'' Sorry, Mr. Policeman. ''(flies over to citizens she accidentally froze)'' Sorry, people of Townsville. ''(flies over to a tree she accidentally froze)'' Sorry, tree. I promise, I'll never use my ice powers again.

===Episode 11A.Just Another Manic Mojo===
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Now to have some breakfast! ''[finds only one egg in the fridge]'' ONE EGG LEFT?! For a nutritious breakfast, TWO eggs is the minimum requirement! And I have but ONE, which is ONE shy of TWO! And it is TWO that I need! ''Curses!'' I must immediately purchase some eggs, for I need to have breakfast, and without the eggs I cannot have the breakfast that I so require! ''[storms down the long staircase that runs to the bottom of the volcano, then suddenly skids to a halt and pats his outfit in panic]'' I have forgotten my wallet! ''Curses!'' ''[storms back up]''
:''[Cut to him returning down, to discover kids playing in his moat]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': '''HEY, YOU KIDS!!! GET OUT OF MY MOAT!!! IT IS NOT MADE TO BE PLAYED IN!!!''' ''[The kids ignore him, who leaves and muttering to himself]'' I must remember to destroy those kids after my breakfast has been eaten.

===Episode 12.The Rowdyruff Boys===
:''[After defeating Mojo]''
:'''Buttercup''': Give it up, Mo-joke!
:'''Bubbles''': You will never defeat us! So there! ''[blows raspberry]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[resting her hands on her hips]'' The Powerpuff Girls never lose!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator''': ''[singing]'' The Powerpuff Girls' house!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[picks up the phone]'' Hello?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Hello.  May I speak to Professor Utonium?
:'''Bubbles''': Who shall I say is calling?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh, no one he'd know, just a curious stranger.
:''[Pause]''
:'''Bubbles''': ''[shrill call]'' PROFESSOR! There’s a stranger on the phone!
:'''Professor''': ''[picking up the phone]'' Hello, Mr. Stranger, what can I do for you?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh. ''[clears throat]'' Ah, hi, I’m calling from Townsville Community College and I’m doing a report on the Powerpuff Girls, and I was wondering, what exactly are those little girls made of?
:'''Professor''': Ah, oh, well, the Powerpuff Girls.  Oh, let’s see now, eight cups of sugar, a pinch of spice, one tablespoon of everything nice, and, now this one’s important: accidentally add a drop of Chemical X.  And voila!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': That's it?  I mean, wow. Thanks.
:'''Professor''': I also have a great recipe for pound--
:''[Mojo hangs up]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Let’s see, snips and snails and a puppy dog’s tail...all that leaves is Chemical X. There must be something around here with that potency. Aha! ''[it’s a stinky toilet]'' Yes, definitely Chemical X!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After creating three Puff-esque boys, Mojo hugs them in a fatherly manner]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Ah, my children!
:'''Brick''': ''[grabs him threateningly]'' Hands off! Who do you think you are anyway, Pops?!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Why, yes, I am your '''''father''''', children!
:'''Boomer''': Hey! We ain't no babies!
:'''Rowdyruff Boys''': WE'RE THE ROWDYRUFF BOYS!
:'''Boomer''': Boomer!
:'''Brick''': Brick!
:'''Butch''': Butch!
:'''Brick''': We're here to kick some butt! And since yours is the only one around, we're gonna start with you!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh, no, boys.  You don't want to kick my butt; my butt is as rotten as yours.  What you want are butts settled on the throne of justice!
:'''The Rowdyruff Boys''': Yeah!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Butts planted in the soil of nobility!
:'''The Rowdyruff Boys''': Yeah!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Butts nestled between the pillars of peace and love!  The butts you want to kick are the butts of the Powerpuff Girls!
:'''The Rowdyruff Boys''': Let's get 'em!
:'''Mojo''': I'd be glad to take you to them if we only had a way out of heeeeeeee- ''[getting picked up by Brick, and Boomer and Butch punch a hole in the ceiling, essentially busting Mojo out of jail easily]''
:'''Narrator''': Boy, oh, boy! Those boys are b-b-bad to the bone!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Brick''': Hey! What's wrong with you girls?! You're supposed to start ''crying'' when we hit ya!
:'''Boomer''': Yeah!
:'''Blossom''': What are you guys, new?
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah, we're the Powerpuff Girls!
:'''Buttercup''': And it takes a lot more than a couple of cheap shots to make us cry!
:'''Brick''': ''[smirking]'' Well, then. I guess we'll just have to serve it up...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bubbles is thrown through a shop window]''
:'''Mr. Cooper''': Are you okay?
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah. Sorry about your window, Mr. Looper.
:'''Mr. Cooper''': It's Cooper! COOPER!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''The Mayor''': And furthermore, every Wednesday shall be pretzel day!  ''[Blossom is thrown against the window of his office]'' Hello, Blossom! ''[she slides down]'' Goodbye, Blossom.  ''[Bubbles is thrown against the window of his office]'' Hello, Bubbles! ''[she slides down]'' Goodbye, Bubbles.  ''[Buttercup is thrown against the window of his office]'' Hello, Buttercup! ''[she slides down]'' Goodbye, Buttercup.  What sort of pretzels do you suppose the girls like, Bavarian, or tiny twists?
:'''Miss Bellum''': Sir, I think the girls may be in trouble.
:'''The Mayor''': Whatever makes you say that?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the Rowdyruff Boys zoom past the Powerpuff Girls, the exhaust leaves the Girls weakened and coughing]''
:'''Butch''': Good thing we had those burritos for lunch!
:'''Boomer''': ''[laughs]'' Yeah, dude!
:'''Brick''': ''[snickers]'' Word! ''[fiercely]'' NOW LET'S '''FINISH THOSE SISSIES!!!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Miss Bellum''': Listen. What do little boys fear more than anything in the world?
:'''Bubbles''': Bugs!
:'''Buttercup''':  No, Bubbles. That's what ''you’re'' afraid of.
:'''Bubbles''': Oh yeah.
:'''Miss Bellum''': Girls, you have what boys fear most. Instead of fighting, try being nice.
:'''Girls''': Huh?
:'''Miss Bellum''': You know. Nice.
:'''Blossom''': I get it.
:'''Buttercup''': Ew. Gross.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the Girls magically kiss the Rowdyruff Boys, destroying them]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Curse you again, Powerpuff Girls! I'll be back, but next time I will not be defeated! It is ''you'' who will be defeated! And when you are defeated, it is ''you'' who will have ''lost''!
:'''Narrator''': Oh, Mojo, shut up!
:'''Blossom''': I kinda liked kissing.
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah!
:''[She and Blossom giggle]''
:'''Blossom''': How about you, Buttercup?
:'''Buttercup''': ''[starts spitting in disgust]'' Yuck! Buck!
:''[Bubbles and Blossom laugh]''

==Season 2==
5 Episodes by January 1, 1999 - January 31, 2000

===Episode 1A.Stuck Up, Up, and Away===
:'''Narrator:''' The City of Townsville, and it's a shiny new day, with a shiny new limousine headed for Pokey Oaks Kindergarten.  Seems there will be a shiny new face joining the class today!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' I'll need some milk money for my first day of new school!  ''[her dad hands her some cash]''  I suppose this will do!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After Blossom has used her ice breath on a flying Princess to rid her of her superpowered suit, and she falls, crying, but Blossom catches her before she can hit the ground]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[crying]'' Why won't you let me be a Powerpuff Girl?
:'''Blossom:''' Because you're just a spoiled brat. ''[puts Princess down]'' And being a Powerpuff Girl isn't about getting your way, or having the best stuff, or being popular or powerful. It's about using your own unique abilities to help people and the world we all live in. And you, little girl, have done nothing worthy of the name &quot;Powerpuff.&quot;

===Episode4B.You Snooze, You Lose===
:'''Bubbles''': A scavenger hunt? How terrible! I don't believe in hunting scavengers.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[with bloodshot eyes and a crazed smile]'' I know who took my plans! ''[his eyes turn slowly to his left, then he suddenly points to his right]'' It was YOU! ''[a bird at his window chirps innocently]'' Well, then...it was YOU! ''[points at his telephone]'' It was ALL of you! ''[the room starts shaking]'' Ohh, the pounding, the pounding, why won't it stop?!
:''[Outside, Buttercup is knocking on his door]''
:'''Buttercup''': Why-won't-this-guy-answer?!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[throws the door open]'' '''WHAAAAAAAT?!?'''
:'''Bubbles''': ''[politely]'' Hello! Please, Mr. Mojo, sir, could we please borrow your supercharged high-tech laser, please?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Okay, okay, just don't bother me again. I'm trying to find my plans on how to destroy you.
:'''Powerpuff Girls:''' ''[with Mojo's high-tech laser]'' THANK YOU, MOJO!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mojo sees the Powerpuff Girls trapped in the machine he planned, with the clueless Amoeba Boys at the control panel]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': '''MY MACHINE!!!'''
:'''Junior''': ''[playing with the aiming yoke]'' Duh, hey, look, Boss, I'm drivin'!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[shoves them away]'' Get out of here! This is ''my'' machine! ''[laughs evilly]'' Now I've got you, Powerpuff Girls! And it is ''my'' plan that will destroy you! And then I will rule the world!
:'''Buttercup''': Mojo, you creep!
:'''Blossom''': This is the Amoebas' plan!
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah! You're just jealous!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[shocked and confused]'' No! No! It is mine, I tell you! I came up with the crab! And the laser! And even the chewing gum that holds you!
:'''Girls''': Chewing gum?!
:'''Blossom''': Girls! &quot;Chew&quot; thinking what I'm thinking?
:'''Bubbles, Buttercup''': ''[nodding]'' Mmm-hmm!
:''[They chew their way free and fly at Mojo, blowing huge bubbles that burst explosively, knocking him from his seat. They then give him a beatdown as per usual, and then turn to the Amoeba Boys]''
:'''Blossom''': Well, Amoeba Boys! Playing dumb all these years!
:'''Bubbles''': When all the while, you were criminal masterminds!
:'''Buttercup''': Looks like it's the big house for you!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[going ballistic]'' But it is ''I'' who planned it! ''I'' did it, not them! ''I'' am the criminal mastermind! ''I'' am the evil genius! I smart, they dumb! ''I'' am responsible for trying to destroy you!
:'''Blossom''': ''[smiling]'' Okay. Then ''you'' go to jail.
:'''Mojo''': ''[triumphantly]'' That's right!

===Episode 6A.Slave the Day===
:'''Narrator''': &quot;The city of Townsville... SMELLS&quot;?!! Say, what's going on here? &quot;The Mayor's dumb&quot;?! That's just rude!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Big Billy &quot;reads&quot; the girls a bedtime story]''
:'''Big Billy''': &quot;So the 3 Little Wolves went to the pig's house, and they said, 'FE FI FO FUM, you sure have big teeth, Grandma!' And so Hansel and the 3 Blind Mice climbed up the beanstalk to sell Mother Goose an old shoe!&quot;

===Episode 6B.Los Dos Mojos===
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[beating up Mojo Jojo]'' Take this! And that! And some of this! And one of those!
:'''Blossom:''' Buttercup, if Mojo Jojo is here, he can't possibly be the one destroying Townsville!
:'''Buttercup:''' Then who's in the Robo Jojo?
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' Why don't you see for yourself?
:''[The machine opens, revealing an amnesiac Bubbles in Mojo Jojo's clothes]''
:'''Blossom, Buttercup:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Narrator:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Mayor:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Talking Dog:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Crowd:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''(sarcastically)'' Bubbles.
:'''Bubbles:''' ''[imitating Mojo]'' I am not Bubbles! Bubbles is not who I am! I am the one, the only, single solitary doer of dastardly deeds! Purveyor of pestilence! And deliverer of lawlessness! I'm a menace to mankind! I am bad! I am evil! I am Mojo Jojo! Hahahahahahahaha!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''[annoyed]'' I do not talk like that! The way I communicate is ''much'' different! I do not reiterate, repeat, reinstate the same thing over and over again! I am clear! Concise! To-the-point! I-
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[beating him up again]'' Take this! And that! And some of this! And one of those!
:'''Blossom:''' What kind of evil have you bestowed upon our sister?!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' You've got to be kidding. I'm wet! I'm naked! Your sister is wearing my clothes! And this is all part of some evil plot... '''TO RULE THE WORLD AS A SOGGY CHIMP IN MY BIRTHDAY SUIT?!?!?'''
:'''Blossom:''' Buttercup, I don't think Mojo is behind this one. That bonk to Bubbles' head must have led her to believe that she is Mojo Jojo!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''[sarcastic]'' No, really? Do you think?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Narrator:''' ''[Mojo Bubbles just hit Blossom across a brick building]'' Uh-oh, Bubbles done a bad thing!
:''[An upset Blossom is about to attack Mojo Bubbles but Buttercup prevents her]''
:'''Buttercup:''' Blossom, wait! She's our sister!
:'''Blossom:''' Yeah, but that really hurt.
:'''Buttercup:''' I know, I know. But two wrongs don't make a right. She hits you, you hit her. Suddenly we’re all hitting each other, then we’ll all be right back where we started.
:'''Bubbles:''' ''[imitating Mojo Jojo]'' What's the matter, Buttercup? 'Fraid I'll whoop the skirt off you?
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[annoyed]'' Alright, let's kick her butt.
:'''Blossom:''' ''[preventing her]'' No, Buttercup. You’re right. She is our sister. And as sisters, we have an intrinsic duty; to uphold peace. Not only for the city of Townsville, but amongst ourselves.
:'''Bubbles''': ''[imitating Mojo Jojo]'' Prepare to meet your maker!
:'''Blossom and Buttercup''': ''[outraged]'' You leave the professor out of this!
:''[Then Mojo Bubbles proceeds to beat up her sisters]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' '''RIGHT ON! WE DID IT!''' We finally destroyed the Powerpuff Girls! Now there is no one to stop us! Hand in hand, we can work together! '''WE CAN RULE THE WORLD!''' Just you and me, Bubbles.
:'''Bubbles:''' ''[imitating Mojo]'' I am not Bubbles! Bubbles is not my name! For the name &quot;Bubbles&quot; is not the correct name to address me by, because it is not my name! If you were to address me by the name &quot;Mojo Jojo,&quot; that would be correct, for my name is Mojo Jojo! And I will only be addressed by that name, which is Mojo Jojo! And furthermore, it is not &quot;we&quot; who will rule the world - it is &quot;I&quot;! I, being Mojo Jojo - who is not Bubbles - shall rule this world alone, which is to say, without anybody else, and without anybody else shall I rule this world! And when this world is ruled by only one person, and not a collective group, that one person who shall be ruling the world will be none other than me, Mojo Jojo! ''[evil laugh]''
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''[annoyed and angrily]'' &lt;Big&gt;'''Oh, SHUT UP!!!'''&lt;/Big&gt; ''[swings a girder which hits Bubbles' head in slow-mo just as he did at the beginning of the show, knocking out Bubbles's memory, then, in normal speed, he reclaims his helmet and puts it back on]'' That's all just well enough, because in reality there is only room enough in this world for one Mojo Jojo. [[w:Monty Python and the Holy Grail|One shall be the number of Mojo Jojos in the world, and the number of Mojo Jojos in the world shall be one! Two Mojo Jojos is too many, and three is right out!]] So, the only Mojo Jojo there is room for in the world SHALL BE ME! ''(echoing)'' And being the only Mojo Jojo in the world, I will rule the world, in which there is ''only one'' '''MOJO JOJO!!!''' ''[evil laugh]''
:'''Bubbles:''' ''[regains consciousness as her normal self]'' What happened? ''[sees all the damages she did as Mojo Jojo, then gasps]'' There is only one evildoer who could've done this to Townsville, and that's... ''[notices Mojo laughing]'' MOJO JOJO! ''[proceeds to attack him]''
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[pointing]'' Look!
:'''Blossom:''' It looks like Bubbles is back to her sweet old self again.
:'''Buttercup:''' That's good. ’Cause there certainly isn't enough room in the world for ''two'' Mojo Jojos.
:'''Blossom:''' I heard that!
:'''Narrator:''' Yeah, and so did we - over a million times! We get it already! And so once again, the day is saved, thanks to Mojo Bubbles...er the Powerpuff... Ah, heck, the day was saved. ''[imitating Mojo]'' So says me, the Narrator. So-called because I speak the narrative of the story! I advance the plot! I begin and end each episode of ''The Powerpuff Girls!'' '''''Me! The Narrator!'''''

===Episode 7A.Very Special Blossom===
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Ahhh! My master is completed! Happy father's day! My captian, I wish you were here to enjoy
:''(Blossom crashes in and made Mojo scream in bloody hell as Blossom tides Mojo's body with tape)''
:''(Scene changes to a prison)''
:'''Buttercup''': It's Blossom!
:'''Blossom''': Look! I can explain everything! The professor shouldn't be in jail for stealing any golf clubs! It's all Mojo's fault!
:''(Mojo muffles a protest that he didn't do it)''
:'''Mayor''': I say, Chief. We made a terrible mistake. Didn't we?
:'''Buttercup''': ''(angrily)'' Wait a minute, Blossom! You told me you found those clubs! Which is it? Did you find them? Or did he sell it to you? Come on, Blossom! TELL THE TRUTH!
:'''Bubbles''': YEAH! YOU BIG FAT LIAR!
:'''Buttercup''': COME ON!!!
:'''Professor''': Please, Tell the truth, Blossom!
:'''Buttercup''': ''(as Blossom whimpers then tries to escape from her punishment)'' WATCH OUT!
:'''Bubbles''': She is getting away!
:'''Buttercup''': COME BACK HERE, AND QUIT LYING!
:''(They finally caught Blossom)''
:'''Blossom''': ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! ''(regretfully)'' I did it. I stole the golf clubs.
:'''Professor''': But why, Blossom! Why?!?!
:'''Blossom''': Because you wanted it so much, And I just wanted to make you happy!
:'''Professor''': It's all my fault! ''(voice breaks down)'' I put too much value in a material item, instead of the love of you girls.
:'''Blossom''': And that's what drove a crime!
:'''Professor''': Oh, Mayor, please...go easy on Blossom. She's sorry. ''(to Blossom)'' Aren’t you, honey?
:'''Blossom''': ''(whines)'' Yes!
:'''Mayor''': What do you say, Officer? It is her first offense!
:'''Police Officer''': ''(as his voice breaks down)'' This is very sad. ''(angrily)'' BUT THE LAW IS THE LAW!
:''(We see Blossom's mugshot)''
:'''Narrator''': Blossom was sentenced to 300 hours of community service. This was a harsh reminder to herself and all that crime doesn't pay.
:'''Blossom''': Boy, you can say that again.
:'''Father Bird''': Well, it doesn't!
:'''Blossom''': Huh?
:'''Father Bird''': I said it doesn't!
:''(The baby birds agree to their father)''
:'''Narrator''': So once again, the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls! ''(we see Bubbles and Buttercup very angry at Blossom in a prison inmate uniform)'' Well, Two of them at least.
:''(Bubbles and Buttercup leave as we see Blossom behind bars)''

===Episode 7B.Daylight Savings===
:'''The Time Channel announcer:''' Welcome to the time channel, where we give you up-to-the-minute time, 24 hours a day. Up next, the current time. Hello. I’m Sonny Dial, here to bring you the latest time. But first, I hope all of you remembered that last night was Daylight Savings, which means everyone sets their clocks back by one hour. That makes our current time 6:41. I’ll be back at 6:42 with the up-to-the-minute time.
:'''Professor:''' ''(realizing as he checks all the clock including his watch'') CRIKEY! I FORGOT TO SET THE CLOCKS BACK! ''(kicks down the bedroom door, turns on the light, rushes to the bed pulling covers away)'' Girls, wake up! GIRLS, WAKE UP!!! ''(slamming hotline receiver in cradle repeatedly)'' Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! ''(grabs mattress)'' Get out of bed! NOW! ''(flips the mattress; the girls are now awake, and he's panting frantically)'' Daylight savings, clocks wrong, forty-five minutes, save Townsville now!
:'''Blossom''': But what about our curfew?
:'''Professor''': There's no time! ''(throws them out their windows one at a time)'' GO! GO! GO!

===Episode 11A.Twisted Sister===
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Blossom''': The first thing we need is sugar.
:'''Bubbles''': I'll get it! ''[Dashes on the left]''
:'''Blossom''': And spice.
:'''Buttercup''': I'm on it! ''[Dashes on the right]''
:'''Blossom''': Next you need...
:'''Bubbles''': ''[Comes back with a sweet powder]'' I couldn't find any sugar, but I did find an artificial sweetener.
:'''Blossom''': That's okay. Next you need...
:'''Buttercup''': ''[Comes back with dirt, twigs and leaves]'' I didn't know where to get spices, so I got dirt and twigs and stuff.
:'''Blossom''': Well, that's kinda like spices. Put it in. Now, next you need...everything nice!
:'''Girls''': Oh, boy! ''[The three fly out]''
:'''Bubbles''': Crayons are nice.
:'''Blossom''': Books are nice.
:'''Buttercup''': Lizards are nice!
:'''Bubbles''': I like flowers.
:'''Blossom''' Computers are good.
:'''Buttercup''': A football!
:'''Bubbles''': Stuffed animals!
:'''Blossom''': A calculator.
:'''Buttercup''': A mackerel.
:'''Bubbles''': More flowers.
:'''Blossom''': A compass.
:'''Buttercup''': Boxing gloves.
:'''Bubbles''': Ribbon!
:'''Blossom''': Art.
:'''Buttercup''': Band aids.
:'''Bubbles''': A smiley face.
:'''Blossom''': A globe.
:'''Buttercup''': ''[Punches the bowl]'' A knuckle sandwich!
:'''Blossom''': Okay. The final and most important step is to accidentally add Chemical X to the concoction.
:''[The girls make awkward faces and dash out and Blossom holds a beaker that looks like Chemical X]''
:'''Blossom''': Oh, look at what I found, girls. Chemical X.
:'''Bubbles''': Be careful with that Chemical X.
:'''Buttercup''': Yes, Blossom. Whatever you do, do not drop that Chemical X.
:'''Blossom''': Don't worry, I wo...''[Drops the beaker]'' Whoops! I accidentally dropped the Chemical X. And it fell into the concoction.
:'''Girls''': Oh, no.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Narrator''': Hurry, girls, hurry! You created a monster! 
:'''Girls''': Bunny!
:'''Bunny''': Wha?
:'''Bubbles''': What have you done?
:'''Bunny''': Bunny do good! Bunny do good!
:'''Buttercup''': No, Bunny do bad. Very bad!
:'''Bunny''': Bad?
:'''Blossom''': Yes, bad. You're supposed to stop crime, not help start it. I guess you're not cut out to be a Powerpuff Girl after all.
:'''Bunny''': No Powawull?
:'''Girls''': No.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': Wha...Wh-Wh-Wh-What happened?
:'''Blossom''': Bunny saved us!
:'''Buttercup''': But...where is she?
:''[A part of Bunny's dress lands in front of them]''
:'''Girls''': ''[gasp]'' Bunny!
:'''Bubbles''': Oh no! She exploded!
:'''Buttercup''': But why?
:'''Blossom''': I guess she was unstable, and the blast broke her down into her original ingredients. 
:'''Bubbles''': She was good after all... ''[starts to cry]'' ''We'' were the ones who were bad.
:''[They hang their heads in shame.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:''[At the end of the episode]''
:'''Narrator''': [''crying hard for a few seconds''] Oh, it's so sad, I can't take it. And so, for the first...and final time...the day is saved, thanks to Powerpuff Bunny! 
:'''Bunny''': Powawul!
:'''Narrator''': ''[crying harder for a few more seconds]'' Oh, why? WHY?!?...Oh, go to a commercial!

===Episode 11B.Cover Up===
:''[holding a blanket to her cheek]''
:'''Buttercup''': I am a good fighter. I am a good fighter.  I am a good fighter.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[after crying and pounding the counter in frustration]'' Where's my blanket?!
:'''Bubbles:''' We don't have time for this, Buttercup.
:'''Blossom:''' ''[worried]'' Townsville is in trouble.
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[losing it completely]'' '''''NOOOOOOOO!!'' I NEED MY BLANKET!!'''

===Episode 12A.Speed Demon===
:'''Him''': ''[laughs; effeminate]'' Don't you know the faster you go, time slows down? Your time stopped for fifty years whilst you were out racing around. 
:'''Blossom''': I know that voice!
:'''Him''': Seconds, minutes, hours, days and nights all crawl by on hands and knees as you race the speed of light.
:''[Him has now emerged. The Girls gasp in horror]''
:'''Him''': Yes! Coming back now? Remember?
:''[Buttercup remembers her dare to her sisters: &quot;So - which of you slowpokes wants to race me home?&quot;]''
:'''Buttercup''': No!
:'''Him''': Yes! As you raced through time, the whole world went to ''[demonic]'' '''Heck!'''
:'''Blossom''': You lie! Don't believe him, Girls!
:''[The Girls severely attack and batter Him, but he seems totally unaffected]''
:'''Him''': Are you finished?
:'''Buttercup''': No, but ''you'' are!
:'''Blossom''': Don't you know you can never beat us?
:'''Him''': Beat you? ''[eyes start glowing]'' But girls, don't you see? I've ''[demonic]'' '''already  ''WON!'''''
:''[He transforms into the larger, more terrifying monster version of himself]''
:'''Him''': The beauty lies in the blame, because ''[demonic]'' '''it's ''your'' fault for leaving! Just ask your friends.'''
:'''Citizens''': ''[variously]'' Powerpuff Girls. You did this? You did this?
:'''Blossom''': No!
:'''Him''': All ''I'' did was take over. ''[demonic]'' '''It was ''easy!'''''
:'''Citizens''': Why'd you leave us, Powerpuff Girls? Why? You weren't here to protect us. You weren't here. It's your fault. ''[chanting]'' Your fault.
:'''Blossom''': What have we done?!
:''[Him laughs demonically]''
:'''Citizens''': ''[still chanting]'' Your fault.
:'''Buttercup''': No. No! NO!
:'''Bubbles''': WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!? ''[begins to cry]''
:''[The Powerpuff Girls, screaming in defiance, fly into space, then dive back to earth at supersonic speeds, thus going back in time]''
:'''Citizen''': Hi, girls!
:'''BB''': Hi!
:'''Ms. Keane''': Hi, girls!
:'''BB''': Hi!
:'''Mayor''': Hi, girls!
:'''Professor Utonium''': Hi, girls!
:''[the Girls sorrowfully hug the professor and explained what happened during their speedy time travel]''

==Season 3==
5 Episodes by February 2, 2000 - December 31, 2001

===Episode 0A.Helter Shelter===

===Episode 0B.Moxy===

===Episode 1A.Fallen Arches===

===Episode 1B.The Mane Event===

===Episode 2A.Town and Out===
:'''Proffessor''': ''(taking his head to the opended window)'' I love this town!!!!! ''(echoing)''
:'''Man''': ''(off-screen,angry)'' Ahh shut up ya jerk !!!!!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Citiesville Mayor''': ''(quietly, sternly)'' Let me tell you some words. At what point did it seem like a good idea to blow up the Cityville Bridge? 
:'''Blossom''': Uhh...
:'''Citiesville Mayor''': ''(waves his index finger at the girls)'' No! ''(getting off desk)'' Do you realize the two crooks that you caught stole approximately ''(holds up four fingers on the word &quot;four&quot;)'' four hundred dollars? ''(with intensifying rage)'' Do you realize that you did over three ''(and pounds the desk on the word &quot;million&quot;)'' '''''MILLION DOLLARS IN PROPERTY DAMAGE TO THAT BRIDGE?!''''' '''''IT'S NOT REPLACEABLE!''''' ''(a scared Blossom blinks up at him, and he sighs as he looks despondently out his window at the destroyed bridge, much calmer now, but still very upset)'' Also, that bridge is — or ''was'' — a historical landmark. ''(unfurling flag on pole)'' I mean, it's on our flag, for Pete's sakes! It's also the main thoroughfare into the city! ''(dropping flag)'' Nobody actually lives in Citiesville! ''(voice trailing into tears)'' They commute! ''(cries for a moment, then quickly pulls himself together to turn back and glare at the girls, holding up a piece of paper)'' This is a bill prohibiting the use of superpowers in the town of Citiesville. ''(signing it)'' You're hereby forbidden by law to use any of your powers within the city limits. ''(hands the document to the girls and points at the door, menacingly)'' Now, get out of my sight!

===Episode 2B.Child Fearing===
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Prepare your taste buds delight! For I, Mojo Jojo, am not only the number one villain in Townsville, but I am also...number one chef in Townsville!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Blarney the Sea Serpent''': ''[on television]'' If...I were a bunny I'd...HOP, HOP, HOP! HOP, HOP, HOP! HOP, HOP, HOP! HOP, HOP, HOP! ''[the Girls hop, shaking the floor and waking Mojo up]'' If...I were a rhino I'd...STOMP, STOMP, STOMP! STOMP, STOMP, STOMP! STOMP, STOMP, STOMP! ''[the Girls stomp, upsetting Mojo even more]'' If...I were a fish I would...SCREAM, SCREAM, SCREAM! SCREAM, SCREAM, SCREAM! SCREAM, SCREAM, SCREAM! ''[the Girls scream, making Mojo cover his ears in irritation]'' Okay, lads and lasses. Now let's all join in.
:''[The Girls look towards Mojo deviously]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[terrified]'' Oh no, no-! ''[they grab him]''
:'''Blarney the Sea Serpent''': ''[on television]'' If I were a log, I'd ROLL! ROLL! ROLL!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[as the Girls roll him across the floor]'' STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WAIT!
:'''Blarney the Sea Serpent''': ''[on television]''If I were a ball, I'd BOUNCE! BOUNCE! BOUNCE!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[as the Girls dribble him like a ball]'' HELP! I DO NOT LIKE THIS!
:'''Blarney the Sea Serpent''': ''[on television]'' If I were a rake, I'd RAKE! RAKE! RAKE! ''[the Girls take Mojo outside and rake the lawn with his teeth)'' If I were a hammer, I'd POUND! POUND! POUND! ''[the Girls slam Mojo upside-down onto a block of wood]'' If I were a candle, I'd...
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[annoyed]'' '''ENOOOOUUUUGH!!!''' I HAVE HAD IT!! ''[seizing the Girls and takes them upstairs]'' IT'S...TIME...FOR...'''BEEEEEED!!!''' ''[tosses them into bed]'' Whew! Finally, Mojo get peace.
:'''Buttercup''': Where are you going?
:''[Cut to the girls in bed, now wearing their nightgowns]''
:'''Bubbles''': Aren't you going to read us a story?
:'''Blossom''': We can't sleep without a story!
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah!
:''[We pull back to show Mojo at the doorway, crying and whimpering, his back to the girls. Then he turns around]''
:'''Mojo''': ''[begging]'' All right! ''[kneeling]'' But only if you go to sleep! ''[the girls nod and point toward the side of the bed. He sits down on a stool there]'' Very well, then. I will tell you my favorite story...ABOUT THE GREATEST CONQUEROR WHO EVER LIVED! [[w:Napoleon Bonaparte|Napoleon]]! ''[he envisions himself as Napoleon]'' He was a mighty man, feared by all who looked up to him. Using his genius and his loyal army, he conquered all of Europe, then all of Russia, and finally the whole world. The end.
:'''The Powerpuff Girls''': ''[sing-song voice]'' BO-RING!
:''[Mojo's vision is shattered]''
:'''Blossom''': Your story's all wrong! Napoleon's 1807 seizure of Portugal and the subsequent Rebellion by the Spaniards cost France over 300,000 casualties, untold sums of money, and contributed to the eventual weakening of the Napoleonic Empire! ''[whacks Mojo with her pillow]''
:'''Bubbles''': And your analysis on the Invasion of Russia is also incorrect! Napoleon's invasion of 1812 resulted in ''massive'' casualties of his troops, due to starvation and inclement conditions, and ended in a disastrous retreat from Moscow with his army ''defeated!'' ''[whacks Mojo with her pillow]''
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah, dummy! And when he returned to France, the Allied Nations of Europe united against him, which led to his eventual defeat at the Battle of Waterloo on June 18, 1815, whereafter he was exiled to the island of St. Helena, where he died a ''miserable'' death from stomach cancer on May 5, 1821, stupid! ''[whacks Mojo with her pillow]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Narrator''': If I were a narrator, I'd end this show! And so once again, the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!

===Episode 3.Criss Cross Crisis===
:'''Buttercup/Professor''': Bubbles, come on!
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': I'm not going!
:'''Blossom/Ms. Bellum''': What are you talking about?
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': ''[softly]'' I'm not going out there
:'''Buttercup/Professor''': ''(scoffs)'' Why not?
:''[Bubbles, in the Mayor's body, begins to sob]''
:'''Blossom/Ms. Bellum''': Well?
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': ''[turns on light and reveals bald spot]'' I'M BALD!!!
:'''Buttercup/Professor''': ''[scoffs]'' Ugh, you're so sensitive!
:'''Blossom/Ms. Bellum''': Don't be silly, you're not bald. You have plenty of hair, see? Look. ''[combs Bubbles in the Mayor's body's hair]'' There, now you look just like a normal person.
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': Really? Do I, Professor?
:'''Professor/Buttercup''': Uhm...yeah! You look great! Right, Mr. Mayor?
:'''Mayor/Bubbles''': Yeah, sure. Whatever
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': OK, let's go!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo/Old Lady''': ''[laughing evily]'' A priceless vase, and I have taken it for myself without paying! ''[hearing something]'' Hey, what's that sound? Oh, it's so familiar. Hmm, it's on the tip of my tongue. Ah, oh, of course, it's the... ''[getting tackled]'' Oh, The Powerpuff Girls!
:'''Girls/Ms. Bellum, Mayor, and Professor''': That's right, Mojo!
:'''Mojo Jojo/Old Lady''': Mojo? But I'm just an old lady!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo/Old Lady''': It's polyduranium fibroid, you can't break it. You're trapped and TOTALLY HELPLESS! ''[laughing evilly]''
:'''Girls/Ms. Bellum, Mayor, and Professor''': You forgot one thing, Mojo!
:'''Mojo Jojo/Old Lady''': What? ''[the girls hit him with a laser]'' Ow, oh, ow, ow...ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, oh, ow.

===Episode 4A.Bubblevision===
:'''Professor''': Bubbles, you look super.

===Episode 13A.Helter Shelter===
:'''Blossom''': All right, Bubbles! What animal do you have hiding in there?!
:'''Bubbles''': He's not an animal, ''[opens the door and shows a blue whale in their bedroom]'' he's a mammal!

===Episode 7A.Jewel of the Aisle===
:'''The Powerpuff Girls''': ''[Sing-song voice]'' Lucky Captain Rabbit King! Lucky Captain Rabbit King! Lucky Captain Rabbit King!
:'''Thief''': ''[disguised as Lucky Captain Rabbit King]'' All right, cool it down! Cool it down. Now, uh... ''[clears his throat]'' Listen up. The Captain and Tennille has a headache. I'm just here for some cereal, then I'll be on my way. ''[reaches for the box of Lucky Captain Rabbit King Nuggets]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[swipes thee cereal box]'' You think we're that stupid?
:'''Buttercup''': We know you have to try and trick us.
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah, just like in the commercials!
:'''Buttercup''': So don't come back until you've got something good! ''[slams the door in the thief's face. A moment later, the doorbell rings and she answers it]''
:'''Thief''': ''[in his fake deep voice]'' Hey, did you guys just see my twin brother?
:'''Buttercup''': ''[slams the door in his face again]'' Weak!

===Episode 7B.Super Zeroes===
:''[The Powerpuff Girls, inspired by their favorite superheroes from their comics, and calling themselves Liberty Belle, Harmony Bunny and Mange, are attempting to fight a monster, but are unable to harm it, much to the monster's annoyance]''
:'''Monster''': STOP!!
:'''Blossom''': What?
:'''Bubbles''': What?
:'''Buttercup''': Huh?
:'''Monster''': Better heroes, huh? Listen, girls. My name is Steve. I'm a monster. I've been coming here for three days causing all sorts of damage to your town, and what do I get? Two days of no-shows, and now this: A flag girl who does rope tricks, some rabbit, and Little Miss Darkness who's afraid of a little sun.
:'''Buttercup''': Hey, do you have any idea who you're talking to?
:'''Bubbles''': We're superheroes!
:'''Blossom''': Real ones!
:'''Steve the Monster''': You know, that's great and all. But, what am I supposed to tell all the guys back at Monster Isle? You see, when a monster visits Townsville, he must fight the Powerpuff Girls. And if he can hold his own and make it back to Monster Isle alive, he's a hero. Now, this new bit is just not gonna cut it. Sure, you didn't have a thirst for vengeance, stickers with faces on them, or souped-up vehicles, 'cause you didn't need them. You see, even if you take away the costumes, props and angst... ''[takes all of the Girls' costumes off, revealing them in their normal Powerpuff outfits]'' you still have all the bravery and courage it takes to save the day. So, what do you say, Powerpuff Girls?
:'''Blossom''': Let's get him!
:'''Steve the Monster''': Now, that's better.
:''[He gets beat up by the Girls]''
:'''Narrator''': So, once again, the day is saved...with no thanks to Liberty Belle, Harmony Bunny, or Mange...but to the one and only Powerpuff Girls!

===Episobe 12B.Meet the Beat-Alls===
:''[Opening shot of Townsville at night]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The city of Townsville. I hate you! I do not enjoy the fact that three superhero female children take up residence in you! ''[begins pacing]'' And by hurting me and forcing me to dwell in one of your correctional facilities, these mutant infant girls prevent me from obtaining political control of you! ''[stops pacing]'' But you will be mine, and they will most certainly-
:''[Cut to Him in his rotating chair]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Pay! I have been made a fool by you for the last time. But as they say, ''[rotating his chair]'' all good things must come to an end. And your end is-
:''[Scene changes to Princess Morbucks and her father]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': ''[talking to her father]'' Tonight! Think of it as an investment toward your future. ''[acting sweetly]'' If I don't destroy the Powerpuff Girls tonight, ''[suddenly shouting]'' I'LL NEVER GIVE YOU A DAY OF PEACE UNTIL I-
:''[Cut to Fuzzy trying to sing while playing with his banjo]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Doo...doo-doo-doo...doo-doo-doo-doo... ''[hits only wrong notes]'' Oh, I'm sorry, Jo. I can't play you purty tonight. I got them derned Powerpuffs in my noodle! And they make me so mad I wanna-
:''[Cut back to Mojo]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Destroy them, I will!''[stomping through the streets in his robot walker]'' Tonight is the night in which-
:''[Cut back to Him]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Your reign of goodness will end. ''[grows much taller]'' And my reign of ''[demonic voice]'' '''evil shall-'''
:''[Cut back to Princess, flying around with her jet thrusters]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Begin to take hold, as I take over-
:''[Cut back to Fuzzy, running around while carrying a large rock]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Townsville ain't gonna be no more after I get them Powerpuff-
:''[Cut to the Powerpuff Girls' bedroom]''
:'''Professor Utonium''': ''[off-screen]'' Girls, time for bed.
:''[The professor is seen, turning off the lights and closes the door. All was peaceful at night, until four villains showed up at the Powerpuff Girls' house unexpectedly]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Hey! What are y'all doing here?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Well, I'm here to destroy the Powerpuff Girls. And I can only assume that these two losers are here to watch a master at work.
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Listen, you pathethic primate! It is I who shall destroy the Powerpuff Girls, not you!''' ''[effeminate['' So, why not run along and have a banana?
:'''Mojo''': Oh, that is a misconception! Just because I am a monkey does not mean I'm a banana addict!
:''[Him and Mojo begin to argue for seconds]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': ''[shouting]'' Quiet! Now, listen. It doesn't matter that you get all your little gadgets, or that you're the ultimate evil. All that matters is that I destroy the Powerpuff Girls! Which I will, because I have the most powerful power in the whole wide world. ''[takes out a stack of money]'' COLD HARD CASH!
:'''Mojo''': She has a point there.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Yes, she does.
:''[Pause]''
:'''Mojo''': But, still!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Yeah!
:''[They resume arguing, along with Princess]''
:'''Fuzzy''': Hey, I wanna fight, too.
:''[He joins in the argument, but the girls woke up angrily, having enough of the argument, and fly out of their windows]''
:'''Bubbles''': ''[shouting]'' '''''SHUT UP!!!!'''''
:'''Blossom''': We're trying to sleep!
:'''Buttercup''': We'll kick your butts tomorrow.
:'''Mojo''': IT'S-
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' THE-
:'''Princess''': GIRLS!
:'''Fuzzy''': GET 'EM!
:''[Mojo fires laser beams from his robot, Him fires with his energy beam from his mouth, and Princess fires her blaster rays from her hands, hit the girls, causing them to scream in pain. The girls sink slowly to ground level in front of Fuzzy. He stands there for some moments, watching their torment, and his eyes finally turn up to the rock he is holding. He gathers his strength and hurls it; the camera follows it as it flies through the air in slow motion and lands squarely on them, sprawled out on the ground still screaming in agony before they are silenced by the rock landing on them. An eerie hush falls over the scene. Fade to black. Turn down to the four villains, staring in shock and disbelief. Quick shot of the rock on the front lawn, still pinning the girls, then back to the four]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Did we just do what I think we did?
:'''Mojo''': Yes. Individually, we have failed time and again. But together, we are victorious!
:'''Princess''': I propose we join forces, and merge into one super-villain conglomerate!
:'''Fuzzy''': Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup? We beat 'em? We beat all of 'em?
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' That's it! We will be known as...the Silver Beat-Alls!
:'''Mojo''': No. Too fancy. We shall be known as...the Beat-Alls!
:''[All four smile wickedly, and the scene around their faces fades to black as the opening guitar riff of &quot;A Hard Day's Night&quot; is heard. The faces themselves are half-hidden in shadow and in black and white, a la the Beatles album With the Beatles, but the shadows are on the opposite half]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:(Cut to the group of screaming young girls, very frightened, different than screaming fans from the 1960s as the parody tune of A Hard Day's Night plays]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' Yes, screaming girls everywhere ran screaming whenever the Beat-Alls made the scene. ''[the foursome come into view and walk single file along a crosswalk, in a scene reminiscent of the Beatles' album Abbey Road]'' Individually, it had been a long and winding road. ''[they enter the National Trust Bank]'' But together, the Beat-Alls, or the &quot;Bad Four&quot;, as they were also known, had finally conquered Townsville.
:'''Mojo''': ''[points his laser gun at the tellers]'' Now give me money! That's what I want!
:''[She piles cash on the counter]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' Their rise to fame can be attributed to their ability to deliver hit after hit after hit... ''[the girls arrive]'' ...to the Powerpuff Girls.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice'' Ah, I should have known better.
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' With Mojo Jojo on blaster rays...
:'''Mojo''': Better run for your lives if you can, little girls! ''[fires his laser gun at the girls, who cry out in pain as they are hit]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' The acidic spit stylings of Him...
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' Goo goo '''GOT YOU'''! ''[spits a beam at the Girls, who still cry out in pain]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' Princess accompanying Mojo on blasters...
:'''Princess''': You say stop, but I say go, go, GO! ''[fires her blasters from her hands at the Girls, who cry out in pain the third time]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' And Fuzzy, the shy one...
:'''Fuzzy''': ''[straining]'' I'm gonna let you down and leave you flat! ''[throws the rock and crushes the girls, silencing them]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' ...provides the rock. ''[the tellers regard the scene with fear, and the Beat Alls take a bow with their loot]'' Thus the Brutish Invasion had begun. ''[the girls are blasted and crushed as the parody tune of A Day in the Life plays]'' Again... ''[they're blasted and crushed again]'' and again... ''[they're blasted and crushed for the last time]'' and again... ''[the camera turns up to show the Beat-Alls leaning over a balcony railing and smiling down at their latest victory, reminiscent of the Beatles' album Please Please Me]'' ...the girls were defeated by the Beat Alls. ''[cut to an ornate room, looking out the open door. The girls are in the doorway, somehow completely unharmed]'' Till eventually, ''[they disappear]'' the girls stopped showing up entirely. ''[camera turns around quickly; we see a flash of a terrified crowd before the Beat-Alls are seen on a stage, pummeling a band whose members bear a striking resemblance to the Beatles]'' And the Beat Alls had a ticket to ride.
:'''Mojo''': ''[to the audience]'' Will the people in the cheap seats, please leave! And the rest of you, hand over your jewelry!
:''[Hands holding watches, necklaces, and rings reach up into view. Cut to a quick succession of B&amp;W head shots of each villain in various goofy poses]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' Having finally bested the Powerpuff Girls, the Beat-Alls rushed to the top of the charts of the Most Wanted list. ''[four rows of five photos each, one villain per row, appear on the screen with the word &quot;WANTED&quot; above them. The scene cuts to the police station]'' When questioned, authorities had this to say.
:''[Close-up of a tall, white-mustached, ornately dressed policeman, who resembled to Old Fred from Yellow Submarine, at a podium, with microphones set up before him]''
:'''Sgt. Pepper''': Thank you. My name is Sergeant Pepper of the Townsville Police, and at the request of my commanding officers, I'd like to make this statement. ''[clearing throat]'' Help! We need somebody! Help! Not just anybody! Help! We need the Powerpuff Girls! ''[clearing throat again]'' Thank you.
:''[Cut to the reporter, who narrated the whole scene, outside the Powerpuff Girls' house]''
:'''Stuart Best''': So there you have it. The Beat-Alls have taken over; the girls have taken off. Will they return? Perhaps, perhaps not. But as they say, tomorrow never knows. I'm Stuart Best, and this has been A Day in the Life.
Buttercup: Ugh! Turn it off! ''[the TV is turned off]'' Who would make a stupid documentary about the Beat Alls, anyway?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Girls! Girls! I read the news today. Oh boy...
:'''Blossom''': ''[reading]'' 'Beat-Alls crash Mr Kite's benefit. Powerpuffs nowhere in sight.' So what?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Oh, girls...Yesterday all our troubles seemed so far away. Now it seems as though they're here to stay. Sitting here eight days a week, everyone seems to think you're lazy. I don't care, I think they're crazy. But you used to be running everywhere at such a speed! Now you think there's no need.
:'''Buttercup''': There isn't!
:'''Bubbles''': If we can't stop the Beat-Alls...
:'''Blossom''': We're never saving the day again.
:'''Professor Utonium''': Oh, you can't do that. What will Townsville do when they look for the girls with the sun in their eyes and they're gone?
:'''Blossom''': But what can we do?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Well, first of you have to realize that the Beat-Alls are just a rock band.
:'''Girls''': Huh?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Fuzzy, he does that- that- rock thing. But that's not important. What ''is'' important is this: Mojo Jojo was a man who thought he was a loner, but he knew it couldn't last. He's just getting by with a little help from his friends.
:'''Buttercup''': Are you saying we should try to break up the Beat-Alls?
:'''Bubbles''': Is that possible?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Sure. I'm certain that it happens all the time.
:'''Girls''': But how?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Listen: Do you want to know a secret? ''[whispers in the girls ears]''
:'''Narrator''': Sounds like the Professor has some magical mystery tricks up his sleeve!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mojo and his new girlfriend, Moko Jono, are both screeching loudly. Him, Princess and Fuzzy are covering their ears]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Mojo?! Mojo?! ''[demonic voice]'' '''MOJO!'''
:'''Mojo''': WHAT?!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' I still don't get it!
:'''Mojo''': The louder you yell, the more pain it causes the listener! AND! THEIR! PAIN! IS! OUR! PLEASURE!!!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''UGH! MOJO, ''YOU'RE'' THE PAIN!'''
:'''Fuzzy''': YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN!
:'''Princess''': WE QUIT!
:'''Mojo''': WHAT?!
:'''Him, Princess and Fuzzy''': ''WE QUIT!''
:'''Mojo''': GOOD, GOOD! BUT EVEN LOUDEEEEER!
:''[Him, Princess and Fuzzy leave in annoyance]''
:'''Fuzzy''': Now what do we do?
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate and demonic voice]'' Let's [[w:Get Back|get back to where we once belonged]].

==Season 4==
===Him Diddle Riddle [4.1]===
:''[After the girls solve the first riddle]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Congratulations! One down, eight to go. And remember, you must solve these riddles within the time limit. Fail in any aspect and ''[demonic voice]'' '''the Professor will pay!'''
:'''Buttercup''': You tell us where the Professor is, Him!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Ah-ah-ah. You've brought joy to the people for so many years. Now to their eyes, you must bring tears. ''[demonic]'' '''You've got two minutes.'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the second riddle]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Very clever! Oh, you got that one without trying. Now do this without flying! Go to the corner of Chang and Ching, there on the street the phone will ring. What then, you might ask? Answer the phone to get your next task. ''[demonic]'' '''You've got three minutes!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the third riddle]''
:'''Blossom''': We did it, Him. Now what?
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Well, well. Presidential Fitness Awards all around. ''[demonic]'' '''Now let's excercise your brain!''' ''[effeminate]'' Train A left Pokey Oaks train station at 11:40 at a hundred miles per hour. Train B left Norwalk Station 10 minutes later at 90 miles per hour heading towards Train A. ''[demonic]'' '''Where will they collide?'''
:'''Bubbles''': Math?! I hate math!
:'''Blossom''': Bubbles! Think of the Professor!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' You've got one minute!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;  
:''[Blossom is doing math on an abacus after Him tells her that she's got 1 minute]''
:'''Buttercup''': Can't you abacus any faster?
:'''Blossom''': &quot;Abacus&quot; my butt!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the fourth riddle]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Well, girls, you caught these two trains right on time.
:'''Blossom''': We're finished with this nonsense, Him! Now where's the Professor?
:'''Him''': But I've only just started! In the ear of corn, you will find happiness, joy, and the ties that bind. Squirrels store nuts and birds sing songs, but in the Cave of Eternity, everyone's wrong. On the limb of a tree, there's a monkey who's free, and there he will give you something for me. ''[demonic]'' '''You've got two minutes; 45 seconds!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the fifth riddle, which ironically, took place during the commercial break. The girls are panting from exhaustion as Him licks an ice cream]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' I can't believe you got that one right! ''[resumes licking]'' You got the right flavor and everything! ''[resumes licking]''
:'''Blossom''': We'd go to the ends of the Earth for the Professor!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Touching.''' ''[effeminate]'' Now here's something I hope you'll really enjoy!
:''[Two Ms. Keanes are tied in a rope, hanging on top of a vat of boiling sharks]''
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': Ms. Keane!
:'''Him''': Yes'm! The real Ms. Keane will tell you the truth. The fake one will tell you a lie. Discover which is your beloved teacher and she'll be saved. Fail, and they both will be dropped into this vat of boiling sharks.
:'''Ms. Keanes''': Girls, help!
:'''Him''': You may ask them only one question. So make it count! ''[demonic]'' '''45 seconds! Go!'''
:'''Bubbles''': This one’s easy! All we have to do is ask which one is the real Ms. Keane.
:'''Blossom''': Not quite, Bubbles. The one that lies will just tell us she’s the real Ms. Keane.
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah, don’t be stupid, Bubbles. I’ll just ask which one wants a knuckle sandwich!
:'''Blossom''': Same problem, Buttercup. We need a question they’ll have to answer differently.
:'''Bubbles''': I know, I know! Let’s ask what their favorite color is.
:'''Buttercup''': And just where will that get us?
:'''Bubbles''': I bet it'd be nice to know.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Not so easy, is it? ''[demonic]'' '''Time’s running out.''' 
:'''Blossom''': Ooh, ooh! I know, I know! Ms. Keanes... who will the other Ms. Keane say is the real Ms. Keane?
:''[The two Keanes exchange a nervous glance]''
:'''Keane 2''': She would say that I was the real Ms. Keane!
:'''Keane 1''': And she would say that she was the real Ms. Keane!
:'''Blossom''': It’s so apparent! It’s obvious that the liar would say that the real Ms. Keane would say that the fake Ms. Keane is the real Ms. Keane. And conversely, the real Ms. Keane would say that the fake Ms. Keane would say she is the real Ms. Keane. So therefore, the real Ms. Keane is none other than... number two! ''[Bubbles and Buttercup look at Him who is stunned]''
:'''Him''': ''[shrugs]'' She’s right.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the sixth riddle]''
:'''Blossom''': Bring on the next riddle, evil dude! I'm smoking!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''You think you're so smart?''' ''[makes himself and the girls appear at Pokey Oaks Kindergarten classroom; effeminate]'' Then let's see how good you are on the SAT's!
:''[Bubbles and Buttercup glare at Blossom]''
:'''Him''': Considering your educational level, you must collectively score 100 points. ''[demonic]'' '''You have one minute. Begin.'''
:''[Buttercup chews nervously on her pencil, Blossom breezes by it, Bubbles start to fill in the scan-tron in the shape of a flower]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Time's up! Put your #2 pencils down and pass your papers forward. Let's start with Buttercup's results, shall we?
:''[Ding]''
:'''Him''': 25.
:'''Blossom''': Haha!
:'''Him''': Next, Blossom's.
:''[Ding]''
:'''Him''': 10.
:'''Blossom''': What?!
:'''Buttercup''': Ha!
:'''Him''': And finally, Bubbles. 
:''[Holds up test]''
:'''Blossom''': Oh, no...
:'''Buttercup''': The Professor's a goner!
:''[Bubbles' score is 1075, much to everyone's surprise]''
:'''Blossom''': Huh?
:'''Buttercup''': Huh?
:'''Him''': Huh?
:'''Bubbles''': Ha!
:'''Him''': Well, I'll be darned. ''[demonic]'' '''You will not defeat me, you little brats! The Professor ''will'' pay!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the seventh riddle, a lizard monster appears in the city]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Let's see if you can defeat this monster.
:'''Blossom''': No problem.
:'''Him''': Ah-ah-ah. You didn't let me finish. You must get rid of this little guy without using your superpowers.
:'''Blossom''': Again, no problem.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the eighth riddle]''
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''NO!!! You brats shouldn't have gotten this far!'''
:'''Blossom''': One riddle left, Him, and the Professor is good as ours!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' We'll see, won't we? You will find your Professor when you solve this last rhyme: &quot;Where is boiling and freezing at the same time?&quot;. ''[Laughs]'' The Professor ''[demonic]'' '''''will'' pay!''' ''[effeminate]'' 30 seconds.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the final riddle, they confront Him at the Otto Time Restaurant, where the Professor is also at]''
:'''Blossom''': They're at the at the Otto Time Diner! ''[looks at the clock]'' And we're out of time! ''[The girls bust through the door]'' Okay, Him! Hand over the Professor!
:'''Professor''': Girls!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Too late, girls. You failed. ''[demonic]'' '''The Professor is going to pay!''' ''[laughs]''
:'''Professor''': No!
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': Professor...
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Time to pay.''' ''[suddenly rings up a cash register; effeminate]'' That'll be 7.95, please.
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': ''[stunned]'' Say wha...?!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' You see, I bet the Professor here a free breakfast if you girls could solve all my riddles. But you failed. ''[demonic]'' '''And now he has to pay full price!'''
:'''Professor''': Here's your money, Him. Your flapjacks are good, but not that good. I'm never eating here again! Come on, girls. Let's go eat at the other restaurant.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Wait! Wait, come back! I'll make my flapjacks cheaper!
:'''[The Powerpuff Girls stare at the camera, stunned and confused]''
:'''Narrator''': ''[just as confused]'' And so...hmm...ugh... yeah.

===Flim Flam [4.2]===

===All Chalked Up [4.3]===
:'''Bubbles''': Huh?...Hey! You erased my drawing!
:'''Mitch''': Um...sorry. ''[Buttercup now stands nearby]''
:'''Buttercup''': What are you apologizing for?! She shouldn’t draw her stupid pictures on the blacktop if she doesn’t want ’em played on!
:'''Bubbles''': I have every right that you do to be here!
:'''Buttercup''': Oh, yeah?! Well, I don’t—
:'''Bubbles''': I don’t care what you think!
:'''Buttercup''': A playground is for playing!
:'''Bubbles''': And drawing is playing, you ninny!
:''[They start to argue at full voice, and other kids turn to watch. Blossom does likewise]''
:'''Blossom''': Huh?
:'''Children''': Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
:''[As they chant, they gather in a ring around the two squabbling sisters. Blossom, floating behind the group, moves in for a closer look and then pushes her way to the front]''
:''[Blossom breaks up a fight between Bubbles and Buttercup over drawing over a playground]''
:'''Blossom''': All right, break it up, break it up! What's going on here?
:'''Bubbles''': Well, she started it!
:'''Buttercup''': She was the one drawing all over the place!
:''[Buttercup and Bubbles resume arguing with each other]''
:'''Blossom''': SHUT UP! ''[Bubbles and Buttercup stop arguing]'' Bubbles, you first.
:'''Bubbles''': Well, I was just minding my own business, drawing--
:'''Buttercup''': You see?
:'''Blossom''': Buttercup, let Bubbles finish!
:'''Mitch''': Just fight already!
:'''Bubbles''': Buttercup has to share the blacktop just like everyone else.
:'''Blossom''': That sounds fair to me.
:'''Buttercup''': ''[losing it]'' No way! I'm not sharing nothing! This is the playground! There's plenty of paper in the classroom! She doesn't need to fill the blacktop with her scribbles! You know what I think of Bubbles and her drawings?! YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?!! ''[Destroys Bubbles' chalk by crushing it]'' That's what I think.
:''[Bubbles looks down at the fragments and drops to her knees, her head bowed in sadness. A moment later, she lifts her face, now rearranged into an expression of raw anger. Cut to behind her as she slowly rises to her feet and Buttercup smirks at her. We hear her breathing hard, and in a close-up, she is sweating buckets and looking as if about to go over the edge once and for all. She snarls and reaches toward her sister as if to strike her, but the fury evaporates in an instant, unable to bring herself to do it. It is replaced by a desperate struggle to keep her composure, whimpering as her wobbling mouth and the tears leaking from her tightly closed eyes readily attest. After several seconds of unbearable tension, her self-control completely shatters and she explodes. The camera follows her as she flees the scene and heads into the woods, crying all the while. Overhead view of a tree stump in a small clearing. She flies in and collapses by it, face down on its surface, to cry herself out]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bubbles is exploring a magical, colorful world of chalk]''
:'''Bubbles''': Oh, I love each and every one of you! What is this magical place?
:''[A butterfly, with Him's face on it, appears; Bubbles doesn't recognize Him]''
:'''Him''': ''[speaking in a crossover between a squeaky voice and his effeminate voice]'' We've been waiting a long time for you, Bubbles.
:'''Bubbles''': You have?
:'''Him''': Oh, yes! We've been waiting for the perfect time to welcome you to our world!
:'''Bubbles''': How long have you been here?
:'''Him''': As long as you have had imagination. And as you can see, we have a present for you.
:''[He reveals a chalk box]''
:'''Bubbles''': The chalk!
:'''Him''': Yes, the chalk. And you can help us make our world even more beautiful!
:'''Bubbles''': Ah, shucks. I couldn't do that.
:'''Him''': Oh, yes, you can! Isn't that right, friends? All we need is your imagination!
:''[He makes himself and Bubbles appear in a blackboard]''
:'''Bubbles''': Where are we?
:'''Him''': The whole world is your canvas. And here, you can draw anything you want with your magical chalk! Try it.
:'''Bubbles''': But what do I draw?
:'''Him''': Draw anything you feel. Draw what makes you happy.
:'''Bubbles''': Hmm. What makes me happy? ''[She draws a flower on the board]'' There! How's that?
:'''Him''': Good! But now, watch. ''[The flower grows more large petals]'' Draw some more. More happy things!
:''[Bubbles draws on the board a bird's nest on a tree with a mother bird on the nest]''
:'''Bubbles''': There!
:'''Him''': Look! ''[The eggs hatch into baby birds]'' See what your imagination can do? Draw, draw! ''[Bubbles draws a beach with a sunset, seagulls and a school of fish]'' Well, what do you think?
:'''Bubbles''': I've never drawn prettier things! They light up my life!
:'''Him''': Well, there's more to it than just happy little drawings.
:'''Bubbles''': What do you mean?
:'''Him''': Artists draw all of their feelings.
:'''Bubbles''': Like a happy feeling.
:'''Him''': Well, not just happy feelings. Haven't you ever been frustrated, sad? How about angry?
:'''Bubbles''': No.
:'''Him''': No?
:'''Bubbles''': Never.
:'''Him''': Never?
:'''Bubbles''': No!
:'''Him''': No?
:'''Bubbles''': No, never!
:''[She suddenly realizes she's becoming angry and covers her mouth]''
:'''Him''': Aha! It's okay to be angry, and it's important to express it. Let's wipe the state clean. ''[The beach drawing disappears]'' Now, remember when Buttercup destroyed your chalk at the playground?
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah, that wasn't very fair.
:'''Him''': That's right! Now get your chalk. Let's draw that feeling.
:'''Bubbles''': What does it look like?
:'''Him''': Draw a big scribble. Hard and fast. More! More! Harder, faster! ''[Bubbles does as she has been told]'' How does that make you feel?
:'''Bubbles''': Better, I guess.
:'''Him''': Good! Now draw some more. Draw how Buttercup made you feel. Who is she to tell you what to do? Push her around? Feel your anger. ''[Bubbles, feeling her anger, draws monsters on the blackboard]'' Did you get all your anger out?
:'''Bubbles''': Yes! ''[Pants]'' I had no idea I could express myself like that.
:'''Him''': Neither did I.
:''[Him vanishes]'' 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[As the chalk monsters attack Pokey Oaks Kindergarten]''
:'''Blossom''': EVERYONE GET INSIDE!! ''[All the kids run into the classroom. A giant chalk turtle smashes the classroom's roof]'' EVERYONE GET OUTSIDE!!
:''[The kids run back outside]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[As the girls try to defeat the monsters by erasing them with erasers, but to no avail]''
:'''Bubbles''': He can't do that!
:''[Him, still in the form of a butterfly, appears; Bubbles still does not recognize Him]''
:'''Him''': ''[squeaky and effeminate voice]'' I think he can.
:'''Bubbles''': Oh! Thank goodness you're here! I drew all these monsters and they came to life. But now you're here and you can help.
:'''Him''': But why would I help you, when this whole thing was ''[instantly transforms into his normal form; demonic voice]'' '''MY idea?!'''
:'''Bubbles''': ''[Gasps]'' It was you! You made me do this!
:'''Him''': ''[putting his arm around Bubbles; effeminate]'' Au contaire. I just provided the chalk.
:'''Blossom''': You leave Bubbles alone!
:'''Him''': It was ''you'' who draw monsters! 
:'''Bubbles''': Get your claws off me!
:''[She releases himself from Him's grasp]''
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''That's good!''' ''[effeminate]'' Express that anger, just like before! Remember how good it felt?
:'''Bubbles''': Okay, I will!
:'''Blossom and Buttercup''': No, Bubbles, wait! ''[Bubbles uses her chalk and eraser to turn the chalk turtle into a happier turtle, much to Him's shock]'' Go, Bubbles!
:''[Bubbles then uses the chalk to turn all the other monsters into happy drawings. Him is enraged]''
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''No! No! NO!!'''
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': All right!
:'''Him''': '''You can't do that! You're supposed to express your anger!'''
:'''Bubbles''': I am. I'm just expressing it in a positive way. And I think you were more positive when you were a cute...little...butterfly! ''[Uses her chalk to draw on Him, turning him into a butterfly, embarrassing Him]'' What do you think?
:'''Blossom''': Oh, yes.
:'''Buttercup''': Much better.
:''[Him, humiliated and defeated, becomes enraged]''
:'''Him''': '''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!'''
:''[He vanishes, defeated]''

===Get Back, Jojo [4.4]===

===Members Only [4.5]===
:'''Mascumax''': Men of Earth! Witness the coming of... MASCUMAX! Breaker of men! Taker of worlds! Be there any true men amongst thee?! Step forth and bring thy manhood against mine own, so that we might see who has the upper hand upon the measuring stick!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mascumax has been defeating the male superheroes easily]''
:'''Mascumax''': Fools! I feed off your expulsions of manliness! The more manhood you bring against me, the harder I become!
:'''Blossom''': Hey, buff! Why don't you try some Powerpuff?
:'''Mascumax''': What? Little girls?! ''[laughs]'' Shouldn't you be home learning how to be mommies?!
:'''Buttercup''': Ugh, ''this'' stuff again?
:'''Blossom''': Look, this planet is our home, and mommies are ready to clean house!
:''[They land several successful blows on Mascumax and knock him down]''
:'''Blossom''': All right, ladies, let's do some ''real'' cookin'! Form Furious Flaming Feline!
:''[The girls form a cat-like shape made of fire, which leaps at Mascumax, setting him on fire, and rubs against his leg]''
:'''Mascumax''': AAAAAAAARGH!!! NOOOOOOO, IT CANNOT BEEEE!!!
:'''Blossom''': If you can't take the heat, then stay out of the kitchen!
:''[Mascumax chickens out, transforming back into hotrod mode and flying back into space]''
:'''Mascumax''': ''[sobbing]'' WAAAAAHAHAHAAA!!! MOMMY, THERE WAS SOME GIRLS, AND THEY WERE BEING MEAN TO ME!!!

===Nano to the North [4.6]===

===Stray Bullet [4.7]===
:''[The Powerpuff Girls induct their new member]''
:'''Blossom''' : May I have your attention, please!  Friends!  Family!  Esteemed colleagues!  We are gathered here today for a momentous occasion!  Bubbles, translate.
:'''Bubbles''': Oh yeah. Cheep cheep, cheep cheep. Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep.
:'''Blossom''': Today, for the first time ever . . .
:'''Bubbles''': Cheep, cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . we have discovered an individual . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . . cheep cheep, cheep cheep cheep cheep, cheep cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . whose bravery . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . . cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . strength . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . .cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . and agility . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . . cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . have proven her worthy to be a member of our exclusive organization . . .
:'''The Powerpuff Girls''': THE POWERPUFF GIRLS!
:'''Bubbles''': CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP! Hey, Professor! Clap!
:'''Professor Utonium''': Hm? Oh, uh, yay!
:'''Blossom''': And so, dubbed with the appropriate 'B' name . . .
:'''Bubbles''': Cheep cheep, cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Buttercup''': Bruce begins with a B!
:'''Blossom''': Shh! . . . I hereby dub thee . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . . cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . Powerpuff Bullet!
:'''Bubbles''': . . . Cheep cheep --- Cheep cheep!
:'''Professor Utonium''': Woo hoo, yeah! [hoots] Ha ha ha, yeah! [hoots]

===Forced Kin [4.8]===
:''[The invading robot has repeatedly outsmarted Mojo, defeated the Girls, and wrecked much of Townsville, including Mojo's volcano laboratory]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No! My laboratory, home to all my evil plans and devices... destroyed!
:'''Robot''': Earth creatures, the destruction of your dwelling area is now complete. I am now your new leader.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[shaking with shock and outrage]'' NOOOOOO! That is ''my'' line! ''I've'' always wanted to say that!
:'''Robot''': And you will now bow down to me. ''[Townsville's people are shown bowing]'' Yes, just like that.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No! No! '''NOOOO...!!!''' 
:''[Mojo's eyes pop and glow, and he goes completely berserk, prancing around, gibbering and shrieking like a wild chimpanzee as the robot watches]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[eyes glowing again]'' '''YOU!!! HAVE!!! BROKEN!!! MY!!! ''DREEEEAMS!!!'''''
:''[He leaps at the robot, delivering several powerful punches, finally knocking it down with a blow to the head with the loaf of bread from Miguel's Market. He then pulls its lower leg back, making it cry out in pain and pound the ground]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Say it! SAY IT! '''SAY IT!!!'''
:'''Robot''': ''YOU'' ARE THE MOST EVIL! ''[collapses again]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': And don't you forget it!

===Knock it Off [4.9]===
:'''Professor Utonium''': When were you in New York?
:'''Blossom''': Yesterday.
:'''Buttercup''': (&lt;i&gt;whispering&lt;/i&gt;) No, today.
:'''Blossom''': I mean... today.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': What happened to Professor Dick and the other Powerpuff Girls?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Well, Old Dick may have gotten the formula right, but the one ingredient that he forgot was &quot;love&quot;. Let's go home, girls.
:'''Professor Dick''': (&lt;i&gt;screaming while dying&lt;/i&gt;) '''NNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!'''

===Super Friends [4.10]===
:''[The girls introduce their new friend Robin to Professor Utonium]''
:'''Bubbles:''' He made us in his laboratory by accident.
:'''Professor:''' Yes, uh... well, it was sort of an accident...
:'''Robin:''' That's okay, Professor. I was an accident, too! ''(his eyes widen)'' Your dad is funny!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess:''' Hey girls, let me be a Powerpuff Girl for a day and you could ride in Daddy's limo with me to school!
:'''Blossom:''' No thanks, Princess. We'd rather walk with our new friend, Robin, to school.
:'''Princess:''' Very well then. You obviously don't know a thing about first class travel...... how 'bout 5 bucks?
:'''Blossom:''' ''[Resting her hands on her hips]'' Would that be 5 bucks to ride in your limo, or 5 bucks to be a Powerpuff Girl?

===Keen on Keane [4.11a]===

===Not So Awesome Blossom [4.11b]===
:[''During a battle between Blossom and one of Mojo's robots'']
:'''Blossom''': Okay! It's just you and me! Let's see what you got!
:[''She blows a raspberry at the robot'']
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''The Professor read's Mojo's note over the hotline'']
:'''Professor''': &quot;Bubbles, Buttercup or whichever of the two remaining Powerpuff Girls has answered the hotline, listen closely. Pay attention. Consentrate intently on the words coming from my mouth. I, the Professor, am being held prisoner. I am being kept against my will in a location not of my choosing. If you desire my safe return you must...&quot; Oh, excuse me. Could you please move you finger?
:'''Mojo''': Sorry.
:'''Professor''': Thank you. &quot;...come to the lair of Mojo Jojo together, not alone. Indepently...&quot;
:'''Buttercup''': I think we need to go to Mojo's and save the Professor.
:'''Bubbles''': Again?!

===Power-Noia [4.12]===
:''[Blossom is trapped in a dream world of Pokey Oaks Kindergarten with an evil version of Ms. Keane and the schoolchildren, trying to make Blossom fail to answer questions. Ms. Keane suddenly starts laughing in Him's voice, and she and the schoolchildren suddenly turn into small copies of Him. Blossom makes the connection and becomes determined to face her fear]''
:'''Blossom''': ENOUGH! ''[Him/Ms. Keane and the schoolchildren stop laughing]'' Next question.
:'''Him/Ms. Keane''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Sure, next question. ''[demonic voice]'' '''What is the square root of seven?!'''
:''[Him and the schoolchildren laugh]''
:'''Blossom''': Seven doesn't have a square root. It's prime! 
:''[Everyone stops laughing]''
:'''Him/Ms. Keane''': '''That is...''' ''[effeminate]'' correct. What is the algebric formula for determining the area of a triangle?
:'''Blossom''': Half the base times height!
:'''Him/Ms. Keane''': That's correct. If a train leaves Boston at 12:30pm traveling at 75 miles per hour, and another train leaves Los Angeles at the same time traveling at 90 miles per hour... ''[demonic]'' '''which one will get to Cuba first?'''
:'''Blossom''': Neither! Trains don't go to Cuba, &quot;Ms. Keane&quot;!
:'''Him/Ms. Keane''': ''[effeminate]'' Well, how perspective of you. Oh, well. ''[throws question cards away; demonic]'' '''Tests bore me. You think you're so smart, don't you?'''
:'''Blossom''': I outsmarted you, didn't I?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After overcoming their greatest fears, the Powerpuff Girls finally confront Him, in the form of a giant, multiple-headed, multiple-tenctacled crossover of a crab and spider]''  
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Oh, Blossom! You're always so logical! How droll! ''[giggles evilly]'' Here I am! Sorry it took me so long. I wanted to slip into something more...sinister! You have been such good fun, but now you're starting to bore me. And I'm afraid playtime is over! I ''[demonic]'' '''know your deepest, darkest fear.''' ''[effeminate]'' You are afraid ''[demonic]'' '''YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME!!'''
:'''Blossom''': Let's teach him a lesson!
:'''Buttercup''': Whatever! That guy's toast!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Two heads are better than one! 
:''[The girls and Him fight each other in a large fierce battle. Eventually, Him loses the battle, and is beaten up by the girls, turning him back into his normal form and size. The girls look at a scared Him, pleading for his life]'' 
:'''Him''': Please! No more! Don't hurt me! I don't understand. ''[demonic]'' '''I was so close!''' ''[effeminate]'' I almost had you! You are supposed to be afraid!
:'''Blossom''': Guess you should've done your homework, weirdo!
:'''Bubbles''': We're sisters and we love each other!
:'''Blossom''': And we're not afraid of anything as long as we have each other.
:'''Buttercup''': Gimme a break, you two! Yab-yab-yab! Can I toss this guy, already?
:''[Pause]''
:'''Blossom''': Oh, okay.
:'''Him''': No, wait! It's cool! It's cool! Everything's cool! ''[Buttercup, not listening to Him's pleading, punches Him in the face, causing Him to fall into a black hole of nothingness]'' NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

==Season 5==
===See Me, Feel Me, Gnomey [5.6]===
:'''Bossman''': ''[Singing]'' Townsville's goin' down! I'm gonna throw this paper on the ground!
:'''The Mayor''': ''[Singing]'' The babies can grow, and the little old folks, can walk real slooo-ho!
:'''Professor''': ''[Repeated line, singing]'' Do the people have to be freedom beef?
:'''The Gnome''': ''[The only unsung words in the entire episode, falling down to his demise]'' As I descend to the Earth, and I view the universe above me, I realize that life revolves, evolves, and dissolves, completely around the opposites. Therefore, I conclude that I cannot exist in my Utopian... ''[Closes his eyes]'' mind... ''[Hits the ground]''

==='Twas the Fight Before Christmas===
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Who would want a stupid old BB gun? 
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': ''[gasped]'' Princess!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Besides, you'll shoot your eye out. ''(cut to her)'' Since my daddy buys me anything I want, I only have one thing on my list for Santa: to be a Powerpuff Girl!
:'''Blossom:''' ''[to Princess]'' Don't hold your breath, Princess.
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' What? Why?!
:'''Bubbles''': Because Santa has his own list, and he checks it twice. It says who's naughty and who's nice.
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' So?
:'''Bubbles''': Duh! You're naughty!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[gasps]'' Nuh-uh!
:'''Blossom:''' Yeah-huh!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Nuh-uh!
:'''Buttercup:''' Yeah-huh!
:'''Princess Morbucks''': NUH-UH!!
:'''Bubbles''': YEAH-HUH!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Prove it!
:'''Blossom''': You bought the city and legalized crime!
:'''Buttercup''': You hired Mojo to try and destroy us!
:'''Bubbles''': You gave us a bomb for our birthday!
:'''Buttercup''': You teamed up with three felons and went on a crime spree!
:'''Bubbles''': You tricked our friend Robin into stealing! And then you tattled on her!
:'''Blossom''': You're a spoiled brat who's greedy and jealous! And you don't care who you step on to get what you want!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' And your point is?
:''[The Powerpuff Girls sit back down and sigh in frustration; then the bell rings]''
:'''Blossom''': The point, Princess, is that you better change your ways or all you're ever gonna get from Santa is a big, fat lump of coal in your stocking.
:''[Princess starts shaking angrily. But suddenly that sound of the Santa doll snaps her out of it. Pull back to show the toy walking slowly towards her; when it is within striking distance, she boots it hard enough to break it and send springs flying]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Spoiled?! Greedy?! Bratty?! Naughty?! NAAAAAUGHTYYYY?!?!? DRIVER! Do you know what those rotten old Powerpuffs said to me today?! They said I was naughty! Can you believe that?
:'''Driver:''' ''(coughs)'' Yes. ''[coughs]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Me?! Naughty?! I'm not naughty, am I?!
:'''Driver:''' Well, uh, I'll... oops! Seems my finger has slipped! ''[closes the window]'' Phew! That was close.
:''[The phone rings; the driver hesitates and slowly picks up the phone]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[on the phone]'' WELL?!? YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION!!
:'''Driver:''' KKKKKHHHH! You're-you're-you're breaking up! KKKKKHHH-KKKKKKKKHHHHH! I'm going through a-unnel! -Alk-late-
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[bangs on the window and sticks her head out]'' NO, WE'RE NOT!! I'M IN THE CAR, YOU TWIT!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Servant, tell me. Do you think that I'm naughty? ''[his eyes dart nervously about before her next word shakes the entire room]''  '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;WELL!?&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;'''''
:'''Servant''': ''[stammering]'' I think my...biscuits are burning. ''[dashes off]''
:''[Princess fumes and knocks her soup bowl aside]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Nanny!
:'''Nanny''': Yes? ''[forcing a smile]'' Sweetheart?
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Am I naughty?
:''[Tense pause]''
:'''Nanny''': Time for bed! Lights out. ''[runs off and The lights go out as the door to the hall slams. Princess glares after her for a moment]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Wait! I need another pillow! ''[pause; silence]'' Fine! I'll just go get it myself! ''[gets up from her bed to get another pillow and gets crushed by a bunch of coal]'' Naughty, huh? I'll show you who's naughty! ''[throws a piece of coal]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Well, this time, I am gonna be a Powerpuff Girl! ''[slams the door open]'' And I'm sure not gonna let some elf with a weight problem stop me! ''[gets into a cart driven by her driver]'' Ha! We'll show them! And I'll show those Powerpukes who's naughty and who's nice!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' So now every kid in the world gets coal! And I get what I've always deserved: ''[turning around; zoom in]'' To be a Powerpuff Girl!
:''[She fires lasers from her eyes; the girls bear the full brunt of this assault and drop like rocks, landing face first in the snow to cut three Powerpuff snow angels into it. They quickly emerge]''
:'''Buttercup''': This is so wrong! ''[Close-up of the other two]''
:'''Blossom''': How could Santa believe that Princess is nice?!
:'''Bubbles''': Excuse me?! How could Santa believe that I am naughty?! ''[Pan slightly to Buttercup]''
:'''Buttercup''': 'Cause you snooped on other people's presents!
:''[Bubbles gives her a hard sidelong glance of tranquil fury and takes a second or two to get herself under control]''
:'''Bubbles''': Look. I already told you, I only looked 'cause we didn't have any presents, so I wanted to see if any other kids had any presents.
:'''Blossom''': Enough chatter, girls. We better find Santa and fast.
:''[They start to take off into the night, but Princess blocks their exit]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Oh, no, you don't. ''[Zoom in slowly on her]'' I knew you conceited little ingrates wouldn't be able to accept the fact that Santa thinks you're naughty.
:''[On the end of this, cut to Blossom and Buttercup trading a suspicious look - they are starting to figure out the scam. Princess moves in a bit closer to the girls]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' But I'm not gonna let you brats ruin my Christmas.
:'''Buttercup''': ''[moving in on her]'' Forget it, Princess. We're so gonna tell Santa on you!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[sweetly, flying away a short distance]'' Not if I tell on you first.
:''[She leaves a yellow light trail behind her]''
:'''Bubbles''': We didn't do anything?
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Oh, yeah? ''[pitifully, hamming it up]'' &quot;Oh, Santa Claus, as the only nice child in the whole world, I felt it was my duty to warn you about the three naughty girls who were so angry you gave them coal...&quot; ''[Cut to them, bristling at this; she continues, offscreen]'' &quot;...that they're coming to destroy your workshop and ruin Christmas forever.&quot; ''[Back to her; she takes on the sweet tone again]'' Oh, Santa...
:''[She gives them her biggest and most vicious grin, drops to a rooftop, and bounces off it to head for the city proper, her laughter echoing in the air.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Santa Claus''': ''[angrily]'' Ho, ho, ho! ''[shift to frame all five]'' What's with all the crashing and the smashing, and the smashing and the crashing? Huh? I'm out delivering coal all night long, and I come home to the Smashing-and-Crashing Gang?!
:'''Bubbles''': But...
:'''Santa Claus''': Uh-uh! No buts! I ain't listenin' to no buts from some no-good naughty kids! And no no-good little naughty kids are gonna tell me what's what! 'Cause guess what? ANSWER ME!!!
:''[The four cringe at Santa's screaming]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[nervously]'' Uh...
:'''Santa Claus''': That's right! First time, first time it's ever happened. ''[walking to his computer]'' Every last little no-good, good-for-nothin' kid in the stinkin' world was naughty! ''[voice breaking]'' Naughty! Naughty! Naughty little kids the world over! ''[Princess Morbucks peeks in]'' Except for one. One nice sweet little girl.
:'''Buttercup''': You're wrong!
:'''Santa Claus''': ''[angrily]'' Oh, I am, huh?! ''[turning to them, holding printout]'' Well, I's gots the list, baby. Check it!
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Yeah! Check it! ''[kicks it over, sending a cascade of pages unfolding from the accordion stack toward the girls to bury them. They pop out, inspect different sections, and gasp at what they find: Remember, this is the &quot;nice&quot; list that was falsified]''
:'''Santa Claus''': Yeah! A million bazillion good-for-nothin's on this list! ''[holding up Post-It from his monitor]'' And one little itty bitty, perfect little angel over here.
:'''Princess Morbucks''': ''[sticking tongue out]'' Nyah! 
:'''Bubbles''': That's not right! Maybe you didn't check the list twice!
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah! Princess is the naughtiest kid ever!
:'''Blossom''': She must've snuck up here and switched the lists!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' NUH-UH!! Santa, don't listen to them! ''[points at the Powerpuff Girls]'' They're just jealous 'cause they got coal! ''[Powerpuff Girls stare at her angrily]'' They're jealous 'cause I'm nicer, I'm smarter, I'm prettier, and I'm better than them! So they wouldn't let me be a Powerpuff Girl! THAT MAKES THEM NAUGHTY!! ''[points at the girls]''
:'''Santa Claus:''' ''[remembering the girls]'' You mean ''the'' Powerpuff Girls? Not the same Powerpuff Girls who are always helping people and saving the day and being really good? I mean, REALLY good! ''[the Girls smile and nod]'' Yeah! Yeah! See, that explains all the flying and floating and stuff!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' '''AHEM!!''' ''(Santa turns around)'' '''BUT ''I'' SHOULD BE A POWERPUFF GIRL!!! ME! Not them! Me! MY DADDY SAYS I'M BETTER! MY DADDY SAYS I'M THE BEST! AND IF YOU'RE TOO MUCH OF A FATHEADED FATHEAD TO SEE THAT, I'LL TELL MY DADDY!''' ''[She flies into another room]'' '''AND HE'LL COME AND BUILD A PARKING LOT OUTTA THIS CHEAP.. LITTLE..''' ''[She kicks 2 toys]'' '''ARTS AND CRAFTS...''' ''[She throws another toy]'' '''POPSICLE STAND OF YOURS!!''' ''[She breaks another toy]'' '''GET IT?!''' ''[She flies up to Santa]'' '''SO YOU BETTER GIVE ME WHATEVER I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS, 'CAUSE MY DADDY SAYS I GET WHATEVER I WANT! WHENEVER I WANT IT! AND IF THAT MEANS ALL OF THOSE LOUSY, WORTHLESS, SECOND RATE BARGAIN BASEMENT BRATS OF THE WORLD DON'T GET ANYTHING FOR CHRISTMAS, THEN THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONNA HAVE TO BE!! 'CAUSE I AM BETTER THAN THEM!! AND IT SAYS SO RIGHT HERE!!''' ''[She grabs a note and puts it up to Santa's face]'' '''SO PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT, SANTA CLOD!!!'''
:''[There is a shockful silence for a few seconds; suddenly, Santa gets really angry]''
:'''Santa Claus:''' '''LIST SCHMIST!!! I DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' LIST TELLIN' ME WHO'S NAUGHTY AND WHO'S NICE!!''' ''[He grabs the note and starts tearing it up]'' '''YA KNOW WHY?! 'CAUSE I'M SANTA CLAUS!! CHECK IT! PRINCESS...''' ''[He grabs Princess by the ear]'' '''YOU HAVE GONE AND WORKED OFF MY LAST NERVE!'''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! ''[She starts rubbing her ear]''
:'''Santa Claus''': I have no other choice. You are so rotten, SO despicable, so naughty, I'm putting you on the... ''[points up at a really big and tall naughty list]'' '''PERMANENT NAUGHTY PLAQUE!!!''' BUM BUM BUMMMMMMMM!
:''[Princess gasps in unmitigated fear, knowing that justice is about to be served. Extreme close-up of Santa's lifted index finger and follow it slowly through the air as he brings it to his nose. He touches the tip; a flash of snowflakes, and Princess' name is now cut into the metal as well, signifiying her permanent naughty status for the rest of her life. She screams in horror at the sight; back to Santa, his arms folded in finality]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': '''AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! I'M TELLING MY DADDY!!!'''
:''[She takes off and smashes an exit for herself through the office wall. Visible only as a bright speck, she makes a beeline for the distant mountains. Santa and the girls move closer to the hole to watch her go. He turns to them, holds up his finger without a word, and touches it to his nose. Cut to the fleeing Princess who, in a flash, suddenly finds herself back in her street clothes. She soars along a few hundred yards more before realizing that she has been stripped of her powers, then loses her forward momentum and drops from sight with a sharp gasp. Screaming, she plummets toward the snowy expanse and plows deep into it. A second later, she slowly emerges from the hole, with snow covering her from head to toe, and forces her eyes open through the covering. Pull back into the office; she cannot be seen from this far away]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': '''NO FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIR!!!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Princess flies in front of Buttercup, who is shocked; Princess then slaps her]''
:'''Buttercup''': Ow! Quit it!
:''[Princess slaps her again]''
:'''Buttercup''': Ow! Quit it!
:''[Princess slaps her once again]''
:'''Buttercup''': Ow! Quit it!
:''[An annoyed Buttercup jumps on Princess' back and kicks her far away from herself]''
:'''Buttercup''': QUIT IIIIIIIIIT!!!!!
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Thanks, Einstein!
:''[Buttercup stares at Princess, but then Blossom and Bubbles grab her]''
:'''Blossom''': Good job, Buttercup.
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah, nice one.
:'''Buttercup''': Oh, shut up!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Now, if I were a big, fat, bearded oaf, where would I keep that stupid list?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks''': ''[Referring to Santa]'' Who does that blimp think he is denying ''me'' presents?! Ohh!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Buttercup''': ''[To Bubbles]'' I'm busy.
:'''Blossom''': Doing what?
:'''Buttercup''': Writing my wish list for Santa.
:'''Bubbles''': Are you crazy?! You're only giving him 2 days to prepare?! And that's even if he gets it on time!
:'''Buttercup''': Oh, yeah? When did you send yours, Smarty Pants?
:'''Bubbles''': December 26.
:'''Buttercup''': Ha! That's ''after'' Christmas!
:'''Bubbles''': December 26, last year!
:''[She blows Buttercup a raspberry]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Professor''':  Every year, it's the same darn thing! I can make three little kids out of seasoning, but I can't get these lights to work!

===The Boys are Back in Town [5.5]===
:'''Narrator:''': And their day, the girls even manage to humble... HIM.
:''[In his lair, Him is angrily watching the Powerpuff Girls on TV having saved the day once again]''
:'''Buttercup''': ''[On TV]'' Yeah, it was rough in the beginning, but I paced myself and just wore the monster down.
:'''Blossom''': ''[On TV]'' We were just glad to be of service. Good job, girls!
:'''Him''': ''[mocking Blossom; effeminate voice]'' &quot;We were just glad to be of service. Good job, girls!&quot; ''[demonic voice]'' '''Blah! Blast the Powerpuff brats! They disgust me! So ''effortless!'' They seem to be unbeatable.''' ''[effeminate]'' All these years, and all the villains have produced nothing. So much time, such little results. ''[demonic]'' '''There ''must'' be a way. There must be someone who can knock those brats down to size!''' ''[groans and sits down on his chair; effeminate]'' Oh, boy. ''[suddenly sees something on the TV and slowly smiles; demonic]'' '''Oh, ''boy''...'''  

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Rowdyruff Boys have been resurrected (complete with meaner-looking hairstyles)]''
:'''Blossom''': The Rowdyruff Boys?!
:'''Buttercup''': But that's impossible!!
:'''Bubbles''': We blew you guys up!
:'''Brick''': ''[Smirking]'' Yeah? Well, you can't stop a good thing, babe!
:''[The Girls suddenly start to snicker]''
:'''Brick''': Stop laughing! What are you laughing at?!
:'''Blossom''': ''[Mocking; her hands are on her hips]'' Ooooh(!) Look who's back with mean hair(!)
:'''Bubbles''': ''[Mocking]'' Oh, whatever shall we do?
:'''Buttercup''': ''[Mocking]'' How can we defeat their scary new hairdos?
:''[Boomer naively inspects his hair, while Butch twitches, eager to fight. The Girls continue to laugh, and Brick gets more and more irritated until he finally snaps.]''
:'''Brick''': '''''SILEEEEEEEEEEENCE!!!!!''''' ''[the Girls stop]'' You stupid, wimpy, lame-o girls ''talk'' too much!
:'''Blossom''': &quot;STUPID&quot;?!
:'''Buttercup''': &quot;WIMPY&quot;?!
:'''Bubbles''': &quot;LAME-O&quot;?!
:'''Brick''': You girls just got lucky last time. This time, there's no way you're gonna beat my boys!
:'''Butch''': Butch!
:'''Boomer''': Boomer!
:'''Brick''': And me, Brick!
:''[Boomer sees a fly buzzing over his head, and playfully swats at it]''
:'''Brick''': ''[annoyed]'' Pay attention!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[giggling]'' Are you guys sure you're ready for another beating?
:'''Boomer''': ''[trying to sound tough]'' You girls are gonna eat your words, spit 'em out, and eat 'em again!
:'''Blossom''': ... That doesn't even make sense.
:'''Boomer''': I know you are, but what am I?!
:'''Buttercup''': Enough! Talk is cheap! Let's do this!
:'''Butch''': ''[snickers dementedly]'' This is gonna be fun!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Blossom''': All right, girls. I think we know what we have to do. Let's give 'em some sugar!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[eagerly]'' Ooh, ooh, I want the blonde! I think he's cute!
:'''Buttercup''': ''Man'', you're weird!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Brick''': Your [[w:cooties|cootie]]-kisses only make us bigger!
:'''Boomer''': Stronger!
:'''Butch''': And tougher!
:'''Brick''': ''[laughs]'' You stupid lame-o girls never learn. Now it's time to put these babies to bed!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Him interrupts the fight between the Powerpuff Girls and Rowdyruff Boys]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Hello, girls!
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': ''[gasp]'' Him!
:'''Him''': So nice to see you again! How's things? Not so good? Having a little boy trouble, hmm? Or should I say... ''[demonic]'' '''BIG boy trouble?!'''
:''[The Boys - now huge after being kissed by the Girls several times - land behind Him]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Hello, Boys. ''[demonic]'' '''You're doing just fine.''' ''[to the Girls, effeminate]'' So, how does it feel, Girls, to know defeat is just around the corner... ''[demonic]'' '''and victory for me is at hand?!'''
:'''Blossom''': So ''you're'' behind this, Him! What did you do to make our kisses powerless?!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Oh, that. That's my little secret. You see, I realized that the Boys' only weakness ''[demonic]'' '''was your pathetic little kisses. And since I''' ''[effeminate]'' knew you would resort to that, I added a little something extra: a cootie vaccination! &quot;[[w:Circle Circle Dot Dot|Circle, Circle, Dot, Dot; now you have a cootie shot!]]&quot; ''[laughs]'' I got the spell off the Internet. But your kisses aren't totally useless, girls. ''[demonic]'' '''They make my boys bigger and more powerful!''' ''[laughs; effeminate]'' At last, I win! Have fun, girls! Ta-ta!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Brick''': You calling us STUPID?!
:'''Boomer''': We'll show you stupid! ''[Boomer crosses his arms and smiles proudly. Brick slaps him]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[After the Powerpuff Girls finally defeat the Rowdyruff Boys by shrinking them down to size, Him comes back, angry]''
:'''Him:''' ''[demonic]'' '''CAN'T YOU LITTLE BRATS DO ''ANYTHING'' RIGHT?! I SENT YOU TO DESTROY THEM, AND WHAT DO YOU DO?!''' ''[effeminate]'' You get all ''sissified''! 
:''[With a wave of his claw, he makes the Boys vanish. The Girls smile in triumph]''
:'''Him''': Oh, don't look so smug, girls. Though you may have won this time, ''[Aku voice]'' '''it was a lucky victory and you know it!''' ''[effeminate]'' In time, you ''[Aku voice]'' '''will''' ''[effeminate]'' fall, and we ''[Aku voice]'' '''will''' ''[effeminate]'' defeat you! So keep on your toes, stay alert, ''[Aku voice]'' '''and watch your back... because the boys are back in town!''' ''[vanishes in a spiral of smoke, laughing]''
:'''Blossom''': Oh, boy...
:'''Narrator''': &quot;Oh, boy&quot; is right! It seems the battle of the sexes has begun! Let's just hope the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!

===Bubble Boy [5.9b]===
:'''Brick''': ''[he and his brothers drank 3 cans of soda]'' Man, beating up people for fun is really fun!
:'''Boomer''': Yeah! Beating up people for fun is really fun! ''[Brick throws a can in Boomer's face]'' Ow!
:'''Brick''': Dude! That's the dumbest thing you said all DAY!
:'''Boomer''': Well you said the same thing!
:'''Brick''': Yeah, but it sounds COOL coming out of my mouth!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Boomer''': I don't care what they say; I'm ''not'' as dumb as I look.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': What are we going to do?
:''[Bubbles is now dressed as Boomer]''
:'''Bubbles''': Well, how do I look?
:'''Boomer''': ''[Boomer is now in his underwear]'' Boy, do you look dumb!
:'''Blossom''': Need we say more?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom''': Gee, Professor, you sure outdid yourself with that containment ray.
:'''Professor''': I'll say! Once again, I have no idea what I did!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': ''[as Boomer]'' Uh, hi! It's me, Boomer, your brother!
:'''Brick''': We ''know'' you're our brother. We're not as stupid as you!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Brick''': I know, let's punch each other in the face until someone says, “Hey, stop punching me in the face.” You first, Boomer. ''[punches Bubbles, who is posing as Boomer.]''
:''[Brick and Butch laugh; Bubbles gets teary-eyed]''
:'''Buttercup''': Don't cry, Bubbles. You'll give yourself away.
:'''Bubbles''': Heh, funny. Okay, my turn.
:'''Brick''': Nah, I'm sick of that game.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Bubbles sprays &quot;Flowers are pretty... dumb!&quot; on a wall]''
:'''Butch''': For a second there, I thought you were turning girly on us.
:'''Brick''': Yeah! And &quot;dum-buh&quot;?  Geez, Boomer, if you're gonna do graffiti, at least spell the words right!  Sheesh, talk about &quot;dum-buh&quot;.
:'''Butch''': Yeah! What a &quot;dum-bee&quot;!
:''[Brick &amp; Butch laugh]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Brick''':Hey, I thought you loved cock-a-roaches. Don't you looove cock-a-roaches?
:'''Bubbles''': ''[forcing a smile]'' Well..sure. Sure I do. I love those little guys.
:'''Brick''': Hey, I believe you. That's why you have no problem... EATING IT!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Professor''': ''[after Bubbles captures the Rowdyruff Boys on her own]'' Bubbles! I could hardly contain myself hiding in the closet.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Professor''': ''[after Bubbles apologizes]'' That's alright, Bubbles. I'm sorry you had to eat a cockroach!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[who is still posing as Boomer]'' That's okay, it tasted like CHICKEN!

===The City of Clipsville [5.8b]===
:'''Blossom''': Come on, girls. It's from the time that the Professor accidentally turned us into babies.
:''(During this line, WD to the exterior of the house at night; when the transition occurs, the rest of her words are heard as a voice over. The scene is very peaceful—until a huge explosion erupts from the ground and hides the entire structure. When the smoke clears, we see the Professor in the lab. He is covered with soot and holding a beaker of liquid, and both he and the area are in a state of total disarray. Close-up of his face)''
:'''Professor''': ''(reassuringly)'' Oh, don't worry about the noise, girls. I've just invented a potion that will keep you young foreve— (cuts himself off on this last word upon looking down toward the floor. Cut to his feet, where the girls have undergone a dramatic transformation: they are now infants in diapers, and his mixture worked a bit too well. Safety pins in the respective colors of Bubbles and Buttercup can be seen fastening those two girls' diapers, but the camera angle obscures the one on Blossom’s. She wears her bow but no ponytail, and she is bawling at the top of her lungs sports a single tuft of blond hair at the top of her head and sucks on a pacifier. Buttercup has only a bit of straight black hair and shakes a rattle discontentedly. A flash of white, and we are back to the present)''
:'''Bubbles''': ''(laughing)'' Oh, yes, now I remember.
:''(Flash to this same bit of history. Close-up of the Professor's upper body as he lifts baby Blossom partially into view; she is still crying)''
:'''Professor''': There, there, now. Just let it all out. ''(a pronounced squelching sound is heard, and she sighs with relief and smiles, losing steam)'' There, doesn't that…feel...ugh...better? ''(turn down a bit to show Blossom’s diaper, which she has filled so much that it hangs down almost to his waist. The sound just heard needs no explanation. Close-up of his head and shoulders; he lifts her into view and starts patting her back to burp her. Now her hair can be seen—short, red-orange, with a puff in back that marks the start of a ponytail)'' Oh, aren't you just a little angel? ''(she coos happily and spits up; he grimaces at the sound of it. WD to the present. Blossom has put the bottle away)''
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah. And remember how the Professor turned everyone into babies?
:''(WD to a close-up of an exhausted Professor, out in the city, and pull back. Throngs of squalling infants are heard from o.c. initially, and the source of the din is revealed to be exactly that. He holds several babies, including a top-hatted one that can only be the Mayor and another, with curly red-orange hair, who must be Ms. Bellum. Around him are enough newborns to populate the entire city. WD to the present)''
:'''Blossom''': And remember when we lost our superpowers?
:''(WD to Mojo, laughing from the hatch of a helicopter. In his hand is a briefcase labeled &quot;TOP SECRET GOVERNMENT STUFF.&quot; He hoists himself into the pilot’s seat; pull back to show him lifting off from the roof of a building—the Top Secret Government Headquarters. The girls run out of an access door on the roof and look up after him; close-up of them)''
:'''Blossom''': Let's get him!
:''(They run o.c. toward the edge. Pan in that direction to show nothing but Blossom's bow spinning in midair, as three terrified screams echo and fade away. They have jumped off the roof and gone into free fall instead of taking flight; the bow follows them down. WD to the present)''
:'''Blossom''': ''(smiling)'' Yeah. That got messy.
:'''Buttercup''': Hey! Remember when we sped up time and became teenagers— ''(she picks up a small item and opens it, revealing it to be a makeup compact. Zoom in on her)'' —and wore makeup and gave up crime-fighting and hung out at the mall and stuff?
:''(During the end of this line, there is a WD to the exterior of the Townsville Mall. The rest of Buttercup’s words are a voice over after this point. Zoom in on the entrance and dissolve to a point near the high, glass-domed ceiling. Turn down to the sound of music on the PA system and the mingled voices of the customers. In the background, two girls have their backs to the camera and are leaning over a railing to look down at the lower floors. The fact that neither girl has any visible fingers gives them away as teenaged versions of Blossom and Bubbles. When they speak, they sound like Valley Girls)''
:'''Teen Bubbles''': Oh, my gosh! Check it out. (turning toward Teen Blossom; she wears makeup) She is, like, so wrong in those pants. ''(blows a bubble from a wad of gum)''
:'''Teen Blossom''': Like, yeah, girlfriend. ''(her cell phone goes off, playing the show's main theme as its ring tone, and answers it)'' Hello? Oh, my gosh. We were just talking about you! Where are you?
:'''Teen Buttercup''': Over here.
:'''Teen Blossom''': Oh...hey. So you going to Todd's tonight?
:'''Teen Buttercup''': I don’t know. I gotta get on the treadmill. I just majorly pigged out on a donut. ''(sighs)'' If they only had, like, candy-flavored salad or something. ''(her eyes go wide as she lowers her phone. Flash to the present; all three girls are a bit uneasy at this memory. Buttercup has put the compact away)''
:'''Buttercup''': And then we discovered boys.
:''(Flash to the two teens on their phones. Teen Buttercup hunches over hers)''
:'''Teen Buttercup''': ''(hushed)'' Blossom! Look!
:''(They lower the phone and gaze raptly toward the camera for a long moment. Cut to their perspective: a patch of floor, with three long shadows cast on it from a distance in front. Turn up slowly to their source—the Rowdyruff Boys as teens)''
:'''Teen Bch''': ''(reading a magazine)'' Wow.
:'''Teen Bubbles''': ''(on her phone)'' Tell me about it. Like, that's what I said. Hang on a sec—
:'''Teen Blossom''': ''(nudging her)'' Bubbles, quick! Look!
:''(Teen Bubbles turns her head; close-up of her as she drops the phone and her eyes pop. Cut to Teen Boomer, who is drinking a soda. He drains it, sighs contentedly, and directs a come-hither look at the camera. All three girls are positively smitten)''
:'''Teen Bubbles''': ''(hushed)'' Oh, we shouldn't talk to them. They're bad.
:'''Teen Blossom and Teen Buttercup''': ''(smiling wickedly)'' I know.
:''(Cut to Teens Bubbles and Boomer together. The lower portion of the glass dome is in the background)''
:'''Teen Boomer''': So...wassup?
:'''Teen Bubbles''': Oh, um...you know...hangin' out. ''(two patrons scream; she laughs)'' What's up with you? 
:''(The monster lashes outs its tongue, smashing through the dome, and snaps someone up. The teens do not notice as it swallows)''
:'''Teen Boomer''': You know...hangin' out. ''(the monster sinks out of sight)''
:'''Teen Bubbles''': ''(laughing)'' For sure.
:''(Back to her sisters; their counterparts sidle up to them)''
:'''Teen Butch''': So wassup, ladies?
:'''Teen Brick''': You goin' to Todd's tonight?
:''(Behind them, a couple of gun-toting robbers run to the entrance of a jewelry store and stop briefly. One of them directs a hand signal o.c. behind himself. The teens pay no heed)''
:'''Teen Blossom''': Um...I have to study for an algebra test. ''(the robbers enter)'' For my English class. ''(several others follow)'' What are you doing?
:''(The sound and flash of automatic weapons fire emanate from the store)''
:'''Teen Brick''': Uh...going to Todd's.
:'''Teen Blossom''': ''(laughing)'' Oh! ''(explosion, alarm, and the robbers run out with the loot)'' What a coincidence.
:''(He seems a bit annoyed at her clueless response. Cut to Teens Bch and Bcup. Behind them, a man fiddles with an ATM)''
:'''Teen Buttercup''': So what are you driving now? ''(the man runs o.c.; the machine starts to beep)''
:'''Teen Butch''': Oh, I'm rockin' a new Escalade. ''(sparks fly)'' Wanna take a ride?
:'''Teen Buttercup''': Uh, that's okay. ''(the ATM explodes)'' We rode the one up from the first level.
:''(Teen Butch is nonplussed; the man and a partner run through the smoking hole in the wall)''
:'''Teen Butch''': Yeah, I just put an MP3 player in it.
:'''Teen Buttercup''': Oh, cool! I love that game.
:''(He is caught off guard by this non sequitur. Behind the two, the smoke clears and the men emerge, fleeing with a wagonload of cash. Cut to the exterior of the mall and pull back slowly, as explosions ravage the surrounding buildings)''
:'''Teen Buttercup''': ''(from inside)'' How about you, Blossom? Wanna take a ride on Butch's escalator?
:'''Teen Blossom''': ''(from inside)'' Sure. What floor?
:''(A flying saucer pulls into view and starts shooting at the skyline, and a large red beast, with lobster claws in place of hands, roars as it stomps into view. WD to the present)''
:'''Buttercup''': Boy, were we dumb.
:'''Blossom''': Yeah. Let's remember something else.

===Toast of the Town [5.2a]===
:'''Mayor of Townsville''': Mayor want toast! Mayor want toast!
:'''Professor Utonium''': Look I'm a scientist not a mechanic, what you need to do is take your toaster to the manufacturer and have a certified mechanic fix it.
:''[Mayor starts to get mad]''
:'''Mayor of Townsville''': MAYOR WANT TOAST! MAYOR WANT TOAST!
:'''Professor Utonium''': ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I'll have a look at your toaster. But the I've got to get back to my experiments.
:'''Mayor''': Oh, goody, goody! ''[starts to jump up and down] Is it done yet?
:'''Professor''': No.
:'''Mayor''': How about now?
:'''Professor''': No
:'''Mayor''': Now?
:'''Professor''': No.
:'''Mayor''': Now it's done right?
:'''Professor''': No, no, no, it's not done. Look, I don't really know what I'm doing,so it's gonna take a while.Why don't you just wait over there,and I'll let you know when I'm finished.
:'''Mayor''': Oh...OK.
:'''Professor''': And don't touch anything!
:'''Mayor''': ''[peeps over the table]'' Ooh...What does this button do? ''[presses the button, which starts an alarm. Then there's a rumble. He walks over to where the professor is and there was an explosion. The blast pushed the Mayor and the Professor in his chair away]'' Whee! Do it Again! Do it again!
:'''Professor''': Oh, no. You're gonna sit right here, be a good little Mayor, and stay put while I work on your toaster. And if you're quiet, you can have some candy. Good boy. ''[puts the mayor in a highchair, and gives him a jar full candy. Then he starts rattling in the jar]
:'''Mayor''': Say, these are all lemon! Somebody ate all the Goody cherry candies! ''[throws jar on the ground]'' Mayor want cherry! Mayor want cherry!
:'''Professor''': ''[runs to him with an industrial size bag cherry candies]'' Here, cherry. ''[gives him the bag]''  Now please, let me work in peace. ''[walks away]''
:'''Mayor''': Oh, goody! Oops. Uh-oh. ''[runs under the table and crawls under to get the candy]'' Ooh! Another shiny button! ''[presses the button and the lab begins to shake]'' Help! ''[the lab stops shaking]'' Huh? ''[Chemical X is changed]'' Ooh!
:'''Professor''': ''[working on the mayor's toaster and removes his shades]'' Mayor? He's being too quiet. ''[sneaks inside]'' Mayor? What are you ''[alarmed]'' DOING?!
:'''Mayor''': ''[humming, puts the chemical x on his head]'' Mayor want hair.
:'''Professor''': No! Mayor, stop!
:'''Mayor''': Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Mayor gotta hair! Mayor gotta hair! Yummy 'X' powder made Mayor's hair grow! ''[looks around]'' Professor. Professor?
:'''Professor''': Your hair wasn't the only thing that grew, Mr. Mayor.
:'''Mayor''': ''[looks down]'' Wowie zowie. 
:'''Professor''': Wowie zowie, indeed. Have you no shame? A grown man your age gallivanting around like a little child, not doing what you're told! &quot;Mayor wanna this. Mayor wanna that.&quot; You, Mr. Mayor, are nothing but a baby, a big, big, big baby.
:'''Mayor''': ''[crying like a baby]'' Wah! Don't say that! Wah! ''[runs off]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom''': Professor! What's going on?
:'''Professor''': Oh, it's the mayor, girls. He got into my chemical X so I scolded him, and now he's run off pouting.

==Season 6==
===Custody Battle [6.7a]===
:''[Mojo sees the Rowdyruff Boys for the first time since they've been revived]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The Rowdyruff Boys?! This is not possible! How is it that something that was destroyed can exist again?! I demand an explanation as to how something that was destroyed can exist again!
:''[The Boys exchange looks.]''
:'''Brick''': Duh! Nice hat, dorko!
:''[The Boys laugh and high five each other.]''
:'''Mojo''': How dare you talk to your father that way?! 
:'''Rowdyruff Boys''': Father?!
:''[They laugh even harder, until Him suddenly appears behind the boys]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Yes, it seems that the boys have a new father now! 
:'''Mojo''': What?!
:'''Him''': ''I'' brought the boys back, so ''I'' am their father now!
:'''Mojo''': Incorrect! The Rowdyruff Boys were ''my'' idea, which means ''I'' was the original creator! Yes, it was I who originally created them, which means it was ''I'' whose creativity led to the origin of the idea which resulted in the creation of them! Therefore, the idea originated before the actual creating began, resulting in total origination of all creativity!
:'''Brick''': ''[Scratching his head mockingly]'' Yeah... I didn't get that the first time. Can you repeat that?
:''[The Boys laugh and high five each other again. Him laughs along with them]''
:'''Him''': I'm sorry, Mojo. But your creation was destroyed by the Powerpuff Girls. ''[demonic]'' '''And would probably still be destroyed''' ''[effeminate]'' if ''I'' didn't revive them! Besides, seeing how ''I'' made them better, they should ''[demonic]'' '''remain mine!'''
:'''Mojo''': Better?! How can you make Mojo Jojo's design of the Rowdyruff Boys any better?!
:''[Him laughs]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' By making them immune to the Powerpuff's girly kisses! Now they ''can't'' be destroyed by the mere talk of cooties! ''[demonic]'' '''So why don't you run along, chimp-chump?!'''
:''[Mojo loses his temper]''
:'''Mojo''': Those boys were created to do pure evil, which makes ''me'' the more fit father, since I ''am'' pure evil!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Oh, I'm sorry! But nobody does evil ''[demonic]'' '''THE WAY I DO!'''
:'''Mojo''': That is not so!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Is so!
:'''Mojo''': Is not so!
:'''Him''': Is so!
:'''Mojo''': Is not!
:'''Him''': Is so!
:'''Mojo''': Is not!
:'''Him''': Is so!
:'''Mojo''': Is not!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Is so!'''
:'''Mojo''': Is not!
:'''Him''': '''IS SO!'''
:'''Mojo''': Very well, then! Since you will not acknowledge that I, Mojo Jojo, the original creator of the Rowdyruff Boys, who were originally created by ''me'', and the more evil father, you leave me no alternative but to ''prove'' that ''I'' am the more evil father, therefore making ''me'' the better parent!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Fine, then! ''[demonic]'' '''And ''I'' will prove that ''I'' am the evilest parent!'''
:'''Mojo''': Very well, then!
:'''Both''': ''[Him; effeminate]'' Let the evil begin!   
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' Behold! The TRCP-800.
:'''Boomer:''' You mean &quot;Totally Rad City Pulverizer&quot;?
: ''[Mojo gives him an exasperated look.]''
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' No, dum-dum.
:''[Brick hits Boomer.]''
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' &quot;The Remote-Control Pickle&quot;!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Brick:''' You mean &quot;we can blow things up and stuff? 
:'''Mojo:''' Mmm-hmm.
:'''Brick:''' Anything?
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' Anything.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Him prepares to blow up the sun, destroying the Earth in the process]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Splendidly evil, ''[demonic]'' '''isn't it?'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Evil?! How about STUPID?! Yes, thanks to your foolishness, we will be reduced to nothing! Nothing! Like the amount of intelligence inside your head! Nothing! Like the amount of respect I get after ''6 SEASONS ON THIS SHOW''!!! 
:''[Him turns the sun back to normal]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No, you are ''not'' the more evil parent! You are the more STUPID parent, which makes you unfit to be the father of these boys!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Is not so!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Is so!
:'''Him''': Not so!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Is so!
:'''Him''': Not so!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Is so!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Not so!'''
:'''Rowdyruff Boys''': SHUT UP!!!
:'''Brick''': We don't care which one of you is more eviler, or more stupider, or whateverer! There's only one evil thing we care about, and that's destroying the Powerpuff Girls!
:'''Rowdyruff Boys''': ''[give a group high five]'' Yeah!
:'''Brick''': Let's go!
:''[The boys fly to Townsville. Mojo and Him begin to cry with joy]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': My... that's the evilest thing I can imagine.
:'''Him''': ''[sniffs; effeminate]'' All you can do is raise them the best you know how, and hope they turn out right.
:'''Mojo Jojo and Him''': ''[to each other in unison]'' I'm so proud of them!
:''[The two villains put an arm around each other]''
:'''Narrator''': And so, with Mojo and Him finally happy together, the day is doomed, thanks to... the Rowdyruff Boys.

===Simian Says [6.9b]===
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''[after kidnapping the Narrator and taking his place]'' The city of Townsville. A city that, while being a city, is for some inexplicable reason called &quot;Town.&quot; And not only is it called a &quot;Town,&quot; but also a &quot;Ville,&quot; thus making it a city, town, and village, which seems to me to be redundant and repetitive, which can be quite annoying if you ask me, which you have no choice but to do, for now I, Mojo Jojo, am in charge of... the city of Townsville!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Buttercup:''' In the stomach or in the face?
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' How about a third type of opinion?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom:''' Something feels not right.
:'''Bubbles''': We beat up Mojo...
:'''Buttercup''': And saved the day...
:'''Blossom''': But, what? ''[They think for a moment]''
: ''[The sound of muffled cries is heard.]''
:'''Bubbles''': Hey, girls! Look!
:''[He points to a door and Blossom opens it. She then pulls off a piece of tape from the mouth of someone out of the scene.]''
:'''Narrator:''' OW! Oh, girls, thank goodness it's you! I can finally end this nightmare! So once again the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!
:'''Buttercup:''' I knew something was missing!
:'''Blossom:''' Goodnight, folks!
:''[Long pause as the girls simply float on the ending titles screen.]''
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[Impatiently]'' Now what?
:'''Narrator:''' Er... could I have a ride home?
:'''BBs:''' Of course!

===Nuthin' Special [6.14a]===
:'''Buttercup:''' Huh! Forget it! I ain't got no special skills! I ain't special!
:'''Blossom:''' Aww. Buttercup, you may not have a special power.
:'''Bubbles''': But you're still special.
:'''Buttercup:''' But-- ''[Turns around]'' But-- but nothin'! I thought I had a special power, but I don't! I THOUGHT I WAS SPECIAL, BUT I'M NOT!! SO THERE!!
:''[Buttercup sticks her tongue out at her sisters and curls it; and Blossom look shocked]''
:'''Bubbles''': What did you just do?!
:'''Buttercup:''' What?! Stick my tongue out?! You wanna see that again so you can copy that too?! Well, here!
:''[She sticks her tongue out again and once again curls it]''
:'''Blossom:''' You can...
:'''Bubbles''': Curl your tongue?
:'''Buttercup:''' Yeah, so? What's the big deal? I've always been able to do that. See?
:''[She once again sticks her tongue out and curls it again]''

===Octi-Gone [6.15b]===
:''[last lines of the series]''
:''[Everyone, including Bubbles, Blossom, and Buttercup angrily wait outside the bathroom door, waiting for Mojo.]''
:'''Bubbles:''' ''MOJO!!!'' You get out of there right now! You're nothing but a big party crasher!
:'''Narrator:''' And so once again, the day is saved. Thanks to The Powerpuff Girls and the contaminated cream pie.

=== ''The Powerpuff Girls Movie'' ===
See ''[[The Powerpuff Girls Movie]]'' for quotes on the entire movie

==Recurring Quotes==
:'''Narrator:''' ''[Title Sequence Narration]'' Sugar... spice... and everything nice. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little girls. But Professor Utonium accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction...Chemical X!-- Thus the Powerpuff Girls were born! Using their ultra-superpowers, Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup have dedicated their lives to fighting crime and the forces of evil!

==Voice Cast==
* Blossom - [[w:Cathy Cavadini|Cathy Cavadini]]
* Bubbles - [[w:Tara Strong|Tara Strong]]
* Buttercup - [[w:Elizabeth Daily|Elizabeth Daily]]

==See also==
* ''[[The Powerpuff Girls (2016 TV series)|The Powerpuff Girls]] (2016)''

{{wikipedia}}

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[[Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
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'''''[[w:The Powerpuff Girls|The Powerpuff Girls]]''''' is an American animated show created by Craig McCracken.  It follows the adventures of Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup, three little girls literally created from sugar, spice and everything nice. Their creator and father, Professor Utonium, adds Chemical X by mistake, giving the girls superpowers. They use their gifts to save the city of Townsville.

== Season 1 ==
8 Episodes by October 18, 1998 - January 1, 1999

=== Episode 1A.Monkey See, Doggy Do ===
:'''Blossom''': Gee, I sure hope we can find a trail.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After changing everyone in Townsville into dogs with the Anubis Head]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': All right, you flea-bitten curs! Heel! I, Mojo Jojo, am your master, and you shall obey my commands like the dogs you are! Because I am your master, it is I who you will obey! Obeying commands is what you will do! I will give you commands, and you will obey them!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom''': Not so fast...
:'''Buttercup''': Mojo...
:'''Bubbles''': Jojo!
:''[The Girls are changed into dogs]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Too late, Powerpuffs! Or should I say, &quot;Power-pups&quot;?

===Episode 1B.Mommy Fearest===
:'''Ima Goodlady''': I thought I grounded you, brats! I'm getting the professor!
:'''Blossom''': We're afraid not, Ima. He's conveniently stepped out.
:'''Buttercup''': And we know you're not such a good lady at all.
:'''Bubbles''': What's in the bag, Sedusa?!? ''(pulls out the wig, revealing that Ima is Sedusa in disguise)''
:'''Narrator''': SEDUSA?!? Who woulda guessed it?
:'''Sedusa''': ''(as Bubbles tries to grab the bag)'' Let go!
:''(The bag opens to reveal the mayor's jewels)''
:'''Bubbles''': Well, What do you know? The mayor's jewels. Nice try, Sedusa, But the game's over!
:'''Sedusa''': ''(in her evil tone)'' HA! Never! ''(in sweet tone)'' I'll just sweet talk that sap with the professor. He'll believe in me ''(in her evil tone)'' AND YOU THREE BUG-EYED CREEPS WILL BE GROUNDED FOREVER! ''(laughs evilly)''
:'''Bubbles''': ''(angrily)'' GROUND THIS!!!
:''(The girls attacked Sedusa)''
:'''Professor''': Oh Girls, I am back from the the stooooOOORE! ''(drops his groceries)'' What's going on here?!
:'''Sedusa''': ''(fake sobbing)'' Oh, Professor. Thank goodness you're back! The girls went just crazy and they all jumped on me when I came home.
:'''Blossom''': ''(angrily)'' No, Professor! It's not true!
:'''Buttercup''': She's really Sedusa!
:'''Bubbles''': And she grounded us so she can make off with the mayor's jewels!
:'''Sedusa''': LIARS! ''(to the Professor, fake whining)'' Professor, Sweetie, you believe me, don't you? Please.. help me. Please.
:''(Professor grabs Sedusa's arms and the girls think they are getting grounded again)''
:'''Professor''': ''(to the Girls)'' Girls, call the police. ''(the girls perked up)'' That crook is not going to deceive us anymore.
:'''Powerpuff Girls''' Yay!

===Episode 4A.Buttercrush===
:'''Ace''': Oh, Powerpuff Girls. Please forgive my foolish friend for his foolish act, for he did not know what he was doing. And I know deep inside my heart that he would never do anything like that ever again. What do you say, girls? Will you forgive him? Will you? Please?
:'''Blossom''': Okay.
:'''Ace''': Thank you. ''[winks at Buttercup]''

===Episode 5A.Boogie Frights===
:''[Being chased by Boogie Man]''
:'''Bubbles''': Buttercup? Blossom? Oh, no! I - I can't do it alone! ''[Crying]''
:'''Professor Utonium:''' ''[in Bubbles' memory]'' ''Bubbles, if you can just face your fears, then I know you can find the courage to beat him.''
----
:''[At the end of the episode]''
:'''Narrator''': So once again, the day is saved!
:''[The Girls appear, sleeping in bed]''
:'''Narrator''': ''[snickers]'' Get it? The ''day'' was saved? Because it was going to be eternal night! They saved the day, literally! ''[laughs]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[wakes up as Buttercup glares through one eye]'' Shh!
:''[Both she and Buttercup go back to sleep; through all this, Bubbles is not disturbed one bit.]''
:'''Narrator''': ''[voice sinks to a whisper]'' Oh, sorry. Thanks to the Powerpuff Girls. Goodnight, everybody.

===Episode 5B.Abracadaver===
:'''Blossom''': Excuse me, Mr. Zombie, sir?
:'''Abracadaver''': Wha—?
:'''Blossom''': Could you stop destroying Townsville with your evil zombie magic?
:'''Bubbles, Buttercup''': Please?
:'''Abracadaver''': ''[gasps upon seeing Blossom]'' You! You're that girl! ''[he imagines her as the girl from long ago]'' Girl with bear!
:'''Blossom''': Huh?
:'''Abracadaver''': YOU RUINED AL LUSION! YOU MAKE THEM LAUGH AT ME, '''''BUT NOW, REVENGE!!'''''

===Episode 6A.Telephonies ===
:'''Narrator''': The city of Townsville! And what a beautiful city she is, full of- ''[a phone rings]'' Oh, excuse me. ''[answers phone]'' Uh, hello?
:'''Ace''': ''[over phone]'' Yeah, listen, jerkface, you good-for-nothin' toad!
:'''Narrator''': You can't talk to me like that!
:'''Ace''': ''[over phone]'' How 'bout this? I think you stink! I can smell ya over the phone!
:'''Narrator''': Why I oughta...who is this! ''[Ace hangs up]'' Hello? Hello?! ''[turns over to the Gangreen Gang who laugh after making prank calls]'' Oh. The Gangreen Gang. Why, you crank-calling, good-for-nothings! When I get my hands on you, I'll...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The Girls break into Mojo Jojo's lair and beat him up]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': WHAT IS THE MEANING OF- ''[they shove the back of his chair down onto him, then throw him against the wall]''
:'''Blossom''': Don't play dumb. We know you've got some evil plot underway.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': What are you talking about?
:'''Buttercup''': Oh, like you don't have a giant robot ready to smash Townsville!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No.
:'''Blossom''': ''[surprised]'' No diabolical plans to destroy the world?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No.
:'''Bubbles''': ''[scared]'' Turning everyone into zombies to scare people?!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh, for crying out loud, NO! I have no intentions of committing any crimes...today.
:'''Blossom''': Then what were you doing before we got here?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Sleeping!
:'''Buttercup''': Before that?!
:'''Mojo''': Reading the paper!
:'''Blossom''': ''[deflated]'' Oh. ''[long pause]'' Well...you better behave yourself, or we'll be back!
:'''Mojo''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh goodness, I'd better not snore.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Fuzzy was relaxing in the bathtub while playing his banjo, when he hears the Powerpuff Girls approaching for the fight]''
:'''Blossom''': Okay, Fuzzy. Prepare to get stomped!
:''[Fuzzy is splashed all over]''
:'''Buttercup''': This is for anything you broke! ''[decks him]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[pulling his antennae]'' This is for anyone you hurt!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[raising the banjo over her head]'' And this is for taking a bath! ''[swings and hits Fuzzy on the head with the banjo, which causes him to sink in the bathtub]''
:'''Buttercup''': ''[realizes]'' Uh-oh. I think maybe he was just taking a bath.
:'''Bubbles''': Fuzzy...?
:'''Blossom''': Um...we didn't mean to... ''[then Fuzzy rises from the bath, towering above them and beet red with anger. They look up at him and smile nervously with a giggle]'' I guess you weren't going crazy. You were just taking a bath.
:''[All three giggle and inch away to one side before dashing off at top speed]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Girls have just broken into Him's lair to find him doing aerobics]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Hello, girls. What a pleasant surprise. Ooh, what's the occasion?
:'''Blossom''': Uh, we were wondering...
:'''Him''': How I stay so fit? Well, now you know.
:'''Blossom''': Uh, no, actually. Did you do anything evil today?
:'''Him''': No, not today. Why do you ask?
:'''Blossom''': No reason, just wondering.
:'''Him''': This figure doesn't come easy, you know. I took a little time off to get into shape.
:'''Blossom''': So, you haven't been...?
:'''Him''': Nope.
:'''Blossom''': ''[chuckling nervously]'' Okay, I guess we'll see you later.
:'''Him''': I guess you will.
:'''Blossom''': Okay, bye, then.
:''[The Girls fly off]''
:'''Him''': Goodbye, girls. Come back soon. Goodbye... ''[picks up the phone and puts it to his left ear]''
:''[Cut to Mojo, who is on the call with Fuzzy]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': All right, alright, Fuzzy, I heard you the first time...I know. ''[the line beeps]'' I kn...hold on, Fuzzy. There's someone on the other line.
:'''Him''': ''[to Mojo Jojo on the phone; demonic voice]'' '''Mojo! It's me'''... ''[effeminate voice]'' Him!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Yes, sir! What is it?
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''You won't believe what just happened.'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The Powerpuff Girls just broke in unexpected?
:'''Him''': '''WHAT?! How did you know?'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The same thing happened to me and Fuzzy Lumpkins. He's on the other line.
:'''Him''': '''Well, put him on!'''
:''[Mojo puts Fuzzy on the line]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': ''[shaking with fury]'' BUSHWHACKED IN MY BIRTHDAY SUIT!!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''This is an outrage!'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': You are right. We're all citizens! Evil citizens, but citizens nonetheless!
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Birthday suit!! ''[cries]''
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''We should complain!'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': But to whom?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The phone rings]''
:'''Big Billy''': ''[answers the phone]'' Hello?
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''I demand to speak with the Mayor!'''
:'''Big Billy''': He's not here right now. Can I take a massage?
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''Do you know when he'll be back?'''
:'''Big Billy''': Uh...I don't know. See, Grubber tricked the Mayor into leaving so we could break in and use the Powerpuff hotline to make crank calls.
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''Huh?!''' ''[effeminate voice]'' You don't say. Well, to whom might I be speaking?
:'''Big Billy''': Uh, this is Billy.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Billy who?
:'''Big Billy''': Big Billy from the Gangreen Gang. Who is this? ''[Him hangs up the phone]'' Hello?
:''[A crash suddenly shakes the room, snapping the Gangreen Gang awake. Him, Mojo Jojo, and Fuzzy Lumpkins have come in, looking enraged]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' So! You guys like to make ''[demonic voice]'' '''crank calls!'''
:''[Him, Mojo, and Fuzzy proceed to beat up the Gangreen Gang]''
:'''Mayor''': ''[mumbling to himself]'' Oh, of all the foolishness. Cut the ribbon, pshaw! ''[stops short and looks on in surprise]'' Oh, my!
:''[There was the battle royal going on in his office, and the mayor tiptoes to the hotline to make a call]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The girls are sleeping at night, when the hotline buzzes]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[picks up the receiver]'' Hello?
:'''Mayor''': ''[over the hotline]'' Powerpuff Girls! You're not gonna believe this! The Gangreen Gang, Mojo Jojo, Fuzzy Lumpkins and Him are fighting right here in my office!
:'''Blossom''': ''[hangs up]'' Yeah, right, Mayor, very funny. ''[tucks herself back in bed]''
:''[The hotline buzzes again, which annoys the girls. Then Buttercup uses her laser eyes to destroy the hotline, before going back to bed]''
:'''Girls''': Goodnight, Professor!
:''[But the professor is still on hold since the beginning of an episode]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Narrator''': So once again the day is saved! Thanks to...Mojo?...Fuzzy?...and Him?

===Episode 6B.Tough Love  ===
:'''Narrator''': Those little scamps are so adorable! How we just love the Powerpuff Girls!
:''[Him is in a bathtub, looking angry]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Oh, how I ''[demonic]'' '''HATE THE POWERPUFF GIRLS!'''
:'''Narrator''': Hate the Powerpuff Girls?! Who could hate the...? Oh, no. Please don't let it be...Him!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Oh, Powerpuff Girls, save us! Oh, Powerpuff Girls, we need you! Oh, Powerpuff Girls, we ''love'' you! ''[demonic]'' '''Powerpuff Girls! Powerpuff Girls!! POWERPUFF GIRLS!!!''' ''[looks at a rubber ducky; effeminate]'' Oh, Mr. Quackers, am I the only one who ''[demonic]'' '''hates those''' ''[effeminate]'' miserable little brats? ''[squeaks his ducky]'' You hate them, too? Oh, I knew I could count on you! But how can I possibly beat them with all that ''[demonic]'' '''love surrounding them?!''' ''[squeaks his ducky; effeminate]'' What's that you say? ''[squeaks his ducky again]'' Yes! ''[demonic]'' '''That's brilliant!''' ''[effeminate]'' Oh, Mr. Quackers, you are ''so'' smart. Quite a positively evil scheme you've hatched. And I'll finally be rid of those girls... ''[demonic]'' '''FOREVER!!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Poor, ususpecting Townsville, all snug in your beds. Unaware of the evil that lurks above your heads. And so, with a flick of my wrist and a twirl of my claw, I'll be rid of those girls once and ''[demonic]'' '''for all.'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:''[Ms. Keane and the students of Pokey Oaks Kindergarten are throwing things at the girls]''
:'''Blossom''': I've heard of class struggles, but this is ridiculous.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Buttercup''': Wow, this has turned out to be one freaky day.
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah. Something strange is going on.
:'''Narrator''': ''[affected by Him's evil gas and yelling]'' Aw, for crying out loud, WOULD YOU THREE SHUT UP FOR ONCE?! Always griping and moaning about something! Sheesh, you give me a headache!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:''[All the citizens of Townsville, all affected by Him's evil gas, are cornering the Powerpuff Girls, preparing to destroy them]''
:'''Buttercup''': Why are you people doing this?!
:'''Bubbles''': Don't you love us anymore?
:'''Blossom''': Yeah, you act as if you, as if you...
:'''Him''': ''[off-screen; effeminate]'' Hate you?
:'''Blossom''': Yeah! Hate us! ''[realizes who responded to her question]'' Wait, who said that?
:'''Him''': ''[appears]'' Why, I did, of course.
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': ''[gasp in horror]'' It's Him!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Right you are, girls!''' ''[appears in front of the Professor; effeminate]'' And right you are about your loved ones. ''[licking the Professor's face]''
:'''Blossom''': Take your claws off of the Professor!
:'''Bubbles''': What's he ever done to you?!
:'''Him''': Oh, it's not what ''he's'' done to ''me'', but what he's ''going'' to do ''[demonic]'' '''to YOU!''' ''[effeminate]'' You see, I've taken all of their love for you and ''[his head rotates]'' tuuuuuurned...it into... ''[demonic]'' '''HATE!''' ''[the girls gasp in horror; effeminate]'' Now they will destroy you. ''[demonic]'' '''And you poor, helpless creatures won't be able to fight back.''' ''[effeminate]'' Because the Powerpuff Girls would never hurt the ones they love. Oh, no, they wouldn't! ''[demonic]'' '''NOW DESTROY THEM!'''
:''[The people of Townsville, affected by Him's evil gas, are battling with the Powerpuff Girls, who are on the losing end, until Buttercup rises and knocks the mob away with one punch, stunning Him]''
:'''Buttercup''': Come on, you guys! Get up and fight!
:'''Blossom''': Buttercup, what are you doing? We can't hurt the ones we love.
:'''Buttercup''': Those people ''aren't'' our loved ones. Our loved ones would never want to hurt us!
:'''Blossom, Bubbles''': ''[getting the point]'' Hey, yeah!
:'''Buttercup''': ''[points to Him]'' They're just pawns in his evil scheme!
:'''Him''': ''[giggles; effeminate]'' Well, you know...
:'''Buttercup''': Which means...
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': Let's get 'em!
:'''Him''': ''[frowns]'' Uh-oh.
:''[After the Powerpuff Girls defeat their loved ones and rid them of Him's evil gas, they confront Him]''
:'''Blossom''': Don't ever make us have to do that again!
:'''Buttercup''': Or it will be your last!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Tsk, tsk, tsk. You girls underestimate me. I never give repeat performances. But I assure you, I'll be back!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:''[At the hospital]''
:'''Blossom''': So now you know why we had to do what we did. We all feel really bad, and hope that you'll forgive us.
:'''Bubbles''': Besides, it hurt us a lot more than it hurt you!
:'''Citizens''': Well now, we wouldn't say that! ''[all laughing]''
:'''Narrator''': ''[laughing, then groaning]'' Don’t worry. We forgive you. Because once again, the day is saved, thanks to The Powerpuff Girls! Oh, nurse, isn't it time for my sponge bath?

===Episode 7A: Major Competition ===
:'''Narrator''': '''THE CITY OF TOWNSVILLE IS ON FIRE!!'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mugger''': ''[holding an old woman at gunpoint]'' Uh... everybody freeze or the old lady gets it!
:''[The crowd gasps in terror]''
:'''Major Man''': Halt, vile villain, or taste the bitter flavor of justice that Major Man will serve you!
:'''Buttercup''': ''[sing-song voice]'' Cor-ny!
:''[The crowd shushes her]''
:'''Mugger:''' I'm sorry, Major Man!  My doctor told me to cut down on justice!  But he did say I could have all the ''greens'' I want!  ''[grabs money from the purse]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Blossom:''' Boy, the hotline hasn't run in ages!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mayor:''' That was so hard to do!  ''[pause]''  Anyway, time to move on and forget about the past!  Gotta make room for the future!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Buttercup:''' Let's beat the stuffing out of him!

===Episode 7B.Mister Mojo's Rising===
:''[Mojo Jojo's letter to the Girls:]''
:Dear Powerpuff Girls,
:I have kidnapped Professor Utonium! I have taken him someplace against his will! If you look for him in the spots he likes to be, you will not find him! He's with me - but not by choice! I took him and he didn't like it!
:This message is from, and was written by, Mojo Jojo.
:'''Bubbles''': Who could have done this?
:''[Blossom and Buttercup look annoyed]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator:''' ''[laughs]'' Wow; talk about ironic!  Professor creates Mojo, Mojo creates Girls!  It's crazy, I tell you.  ''[laughs some more]'' Yeah!  So, once again, the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls, but thanks ORIGINALLY to Mojo Jojo!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' It was me.  It was me.  It was me.  It was me.  It was me.
:''[episode ends]''

===Episode 8A.Paste Makes Waste===
:'''Buttercup:''' '''EAT THIS, PASTE EATER!!!!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Loyd &amp; Floyd:''' ''[frightened]'' Hey, dude........
:'''Mitch Mitchelson:''' What?!
:'''Loyd &amp; Floyd:''' Dude..... Dude....

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[to Elmer, who has turned into a giant paste monster, and is covered in flour; sing-song voice]'' You can't stick to me! You can't stick to me! Nyah nyah nyah-nyah- ''[Elmer grows a hole in his stomach and Buttercup flies through it]'' -Nyah???

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom:''' You know what you have to do!
:'''Buttercup:''' '''No! Anything but that!'''
:'''Blossom:''' Buttercup!
:'''Buttercup:''' No, no, no, no, no! All right! '''ELMER!!'''
:'''Elmer:''' Huh?
:'''Buttercup:''' Uh…I-I-I’m…s-s-s-so-s-s-so-o-o…o-o-r-r…r-r-r-ry!
:'''Elmer:''' ''(normal voice)'' Wh-wh-what?
:'''Buttercup:''' I’m…sorry if I picked on you, and…I’m sorry if I called you a…paste eater.
:'''Elmer:''' ''(sniffs, rubs his nose, and takes Blossom and Bubbles out of the sticky glue)'' Thanks, Buttercup. That's all I ever wanted.

===Episode 8B.Ice Sore===

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': ''(after finding out that Blossom has &quot;ice breath&quot;)'' Make the floor all ice, like in ''[[Tom and Jerry]]''! That's my favorite.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom''': Hi, Pablo!
:'''Pablo''': Blossom, how come your sisters are so mean?
:'''Blossom''': Oh, it's 'cause I have ice power and they don't and they're all jealous.
:'''Bubbles and Buttercup''': Nyah!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''(Blossom has accidentally caused crooks to get away with her ice breath)''
:'''Buttercup''': ''(angrily)'' Way to go, Ice Princess.
:'''Bubbles''': You did a bad thing, Blossom.
:'''Blossom''': I know. ''(flies over to cops she accidentally froze)'' Sorry, Mr. Policeman. ''(flies over to citizens she accidentally froze)'' Sorry, people of Townsville. ''(flies over to a tree she accidentally froze)'' Sorry, tree. I promise, I'll never use my ice powers again.

===Episode 11A.Just Another Manic Mojo===
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Now to have some breakfast! ''[finds only one egg in the fridge]'' ONE EGG LEFT?! For a nutritious breakfast, TWO eggs is the minimum requirement! And I have but ONE, which is ONE shy of TWO! And it is TWO that I need! ''Curses!'' I must immediately purchase some eggs, for I need to have breakfast, and without the eggs I cannot have the breakfast that I so require! ''[storms down the long staircase that runs to the bottom of the volcano, then suddenly skids to a halt and pats his outfit in panic]'' I have forgotten my wallet! ''Curses!'' ''[storms back up]''
:''[Cut to him returning down, to discover kids playing in his moat]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': '''HEY, YOU KIDS!!! GET OUT OF MY MOAT!!! IT IS NOT MADE TO BE PLAYED IN!!!''' ''[The kids ignore him, who leaves and muttering to himself]'' I must remember to destroy those kids after my breakfast has been eaten.

===Episode 12.The Rowdyruff Boys===
:''[After defeating Mojo]''
:'''Buttercup''': Give it up, Mo-joke!
:'''Bubbles''': You will never defeat us! So there! ''[blows raspberry]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[resting her hands on her hips]'' The Powerpuff Girls never lose!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator''': ''[singing]'' The Powerpuff Girls' house!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[picks up the phone]'' Hello?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Hello.  May I speak to Professor Utonium?
:'''Bubbles''': Who shall I say is calling?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh, no one he'd know, just a curious stranger.
:''[Pause]''
:'''Bubbles''': ''[shrill call]'' PROFESSOR! There’s a stranger on the phone!
:'''Professor''': ''[picking up the phone]'' Hello, Mr. Stranger, what can I do for you?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh. ''[clears throat]'' Ah, hi, I’m calling from Townsville Community College and I’m doing a report on the Powerpuff Girls, and I was wondering, what exactly are those little girls made of?
:'''Professor''': Ah, oh, well, the Powerpuff Girls.  Oh, let’s see now, eight cups of sugar, a pinch of spice, one tablespoon of everything nice, and, now this one’s important: accidentally add a drop of Chemical X.  And voila!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': That's it?  I mean, wow. Thanks.
:'''Professor''': I also have a great recipe for pound--
:''[Mojo hangs up]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Let’s see, snips and snails and a puppy dog’s tail...all that leaves is Chemical X. There must be something around here with that potency. Aha! ''[it’s a stinky toilet]'' Yes, definitely Chemical X!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After creating three Puff-esque boys, Mojo hugs them in a fatherly manner]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Ah, my children!
:'''Brick''': ''[grabs him threateningly]'' Hands off! Who do you think you are anyway, Pops?!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Why, yes, I am your '''''father''''', children!
:'''Boomer''': Hey! We ain't no babies!
:'''Rowdyruff Boys''': WE'RE THE ROWDYRUFF BOYS!
:'''Boomer''': Boomer!
:'''Brick''': Brick!
:'''Butch''': Butch!
:'''Brick''': We're here to kick some butt! And since yours is the only one around, we're gonna start with you!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh, no, boys.  You don't want to kick my butt; my butt is as rotten as yours.  What you want are butts settled on the throne of justice!
:'''The Rowdyruff Boys''': Yeah!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Butts planted in the soil of nobility!
:'''The Rowdyruff Boys''': Yeah!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Butts nestled between the pillars of peace and love!  The butts you want to kick are the butts of the Powerpuff Girls!
:'''The Rowdyruff Boys''': Let's get 'em!
:'''Mojo''': I'd be glad to take you to them if we only had a way out of heeeeeeee- ''[getting picked up by Brick, and Boomer and Butch punch a hole in the ceiling, essentially busting Mojo out of jail easily]''
:'''Narrator''': Boy, oh, boy! Those boys are b-b-bad to the bone!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Brick''': Hey! What's wrong with you girls?! You're supposed to start ''crying'' when we hit ya!
:'''Boomer''': Yeah!
:'''Blossom''': What are you guys, new?
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah, we're the Powerpuff Girls!
:'''Buttercup''': And it takes a lot more than a couple of cheap shots to make us cry!
:'''Brick''': ''[smirking]'' Well, then. I guess we'll just have to serve it up...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bubbles is thrown through a shop window]''
:'''Mr. Cooper''': Are you okay?
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah. Sorry about your window, Mr. Looper.
:'''Mr. Cooper''': It's Cooper! COOPER!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''The Mayor''': And furthermore, every Wednesday shall be pretzel day!  ''[Blossom is thrown against the window of his office]'' Hello, Blossom! ''[she slides down]'' Goodbye, Blossom.  ''[Bubbles is thrown against the window of his office]'' Hello, Bubbles! ''[she slides down]'' Goodbye, Bubbles.  ''[Buttercup is thrown against the window of his office]'' Hello, Buttercup! ''[she slides down]'' Goodbye, Buttercup.  What sort of pretzels do you suppose the girls like, Bavarian, or tiny twists?
:'''Miss Bellum''': Sir, I think the girls may be in trouble.
:'''The Mayor''': Whatever makes you say that?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the Rowdyruff Boys zoom past the Powerpuff Girls, the exhaust leaves the Girls weakened and coughing]''
:'''Butch''': Good thing we had those burritos for lunch!
:'''Boomer''': ''[laughs]'' Yeah, dude!
:'''Brick''': ''[snickers]'' Word! ''[fiercely]'' NOW LET'S '''FINISH THOSE SISSIES!!!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Miss Bellum''': Listen. What do little boys fear more than anything in the world?
:'''Bubbles''': Bugs!
:'''Buttercup''':  No, Bubbles. That's what ''you’re'' afraid of.
:'''Bubbles''': Oh yeah.
:'''Miss Bellum''': Girls, you have what boys fear most. Instead of fighting, try being nice.
:'''Girls''': Huh?
:'''Miss Bellum''': You know. Nice.
:'''Blossom''': I get it.
:'''Buttercup''': Ew. Gross.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the Girls magically kiss the Rowdyruff Boys, destroying them]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Curse you again, Powerpuff Girls! I'll be back, but next time I will not be defeated! It is ''you'' who will be defeated! And when you are defeated, it is ''you'' who will have ''lost''!
:'''Narrator''': Oh, Mojo, shut up!
:'''Blossom''': I kinda liked kissing.
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah!
:''[She and Blossom giggle]''
:'''Blossom''': How about you, Buttercup?
:'''Buttercup''': ''[starts spitting in disgust]'' Yuck! Buck!
:''[Bubbles and Blossom laugh]''

==Season 2==
5 Episodes by January 1, 1999 - January 31, 2000

===Episode 1A.Stuck Up, Up, and Away===
:'''Narrator:''' The City of Townsville, and it's a shiny new day, with a shiny new limousine headed for Pokey Oaks Kindergarten.  Seems there will be a shiny new face joining the class today!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' I'll need some milk money for my first day of new school!  ''[her dad hands her some cash]''  I suppose this will do!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After Blossom has used her ice breath on a flying Princess to rid her of her superpowered suit, and she falls, crying, but Blossom catches her before she can hit the ground]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[crying]'' Why won't you let me be a Powerpuff Girl?
:'''Blossom:''' Because you're just a spoiled brat. ''[puts Princess down]'' And being a Powerpuff Girl isn't about getting your way, or having the best stuff, or being popular or powerful. It's about using your own unique abilities to help people and the world we all live in. And you, little girl, have done nothing worthy of the name &quot;Powerpuff.&quot;

===Episode4B.You Snooze, You Lose===
:'''Bubbles''': A scavenger hunt? How terrible! I don't believe in hunting scavengers.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[with bloodshot eyes and a crazed smile]'' I know who took my plans! ''[his eyes turn slowly to his left, then he suddenly points to his right]'' It was YOU! ''[a bird at his window chirps innocently]'' Well, then...it was YOU! ''[points at his telephone]'' It was ALL of you! ''[the room starts shaking]'' Ohh, the pounding, the pounding, why won't it stop?!
:''[Outside, Buttercup is knocking on his door]''
:'''Buttercup''': Why-won't-this-guy-answer?!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[throws the door open]'' '''WHAAAAAAAT?!?'''
:'''Bubbles''': ''[politely]'' Hello! Please, Mr. Mojo, sir, could we please borrow your supercharged high-tech laser, please?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Okay, okay, just don't bother me again. I'm trying to find my plans on how to destroy you.
:'''Powerpuff Girls:''' ''[with Mojo's high-tech laser]'' THANK YOU, MOJO!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mojo sees the Powerpuff Girls trapped in the machine he planned, with the clueless Amoeba Boys at the control panel]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': '''MY MACHINE!!!'''
:'''Junior''': ''[playing with the aiming yoke]'' Duh, hey, look, Boss, I'm drivin'!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[shoves them away]'' Get out of here! This is ''my'' machine! ''[laughs evilly]'' Now I've got you, Powerpuff Girls! And it is ''my'' plan that will destroy you! And then I will rule the world!
:'''Buttercup''': Mojo, you creep!
:'''Blossom''': This is the Amoebas' plan!
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah! You're just jealous!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[shocked and confused]'' No! No! It is mine, I tell you! I came up with the crab! And the laser! And even the chewing gum that holds you!
:'''Girls''': Chewing gum?!
:'''Blossom''': Girls! &quot;Chew&quot; thinking what I'm thinking?
:'''Bubbles, Buttercup''': ''[nodding]'' Mmm-hmm!
:''[They chew their way free and fly at Mojo, blowing huge bubbles that burst explosively, knocking him from his seat. They then give him a beatdown as per usual, and then turn to the Amoeba Boys]''
:'''Blossom''': Well, Amoeba Boys! Playing dumb all these years!
:'''Bubbles''': When all the while, you were criminal masterminds!
:'''Buttercup''': Looks like it's the big house for you!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[going ballistic]'' But it is ''I'' who planned it! ''I'' did it, not them! ''I'' am the criminal mastermind! ''I'' am the evil genius! I smart, they dumb! ''I'' am responsible for trying to destroy you!
:'''Blossom''': ''[smiling]'' Okay. Then ''you'' go to jail.
:'''Mojo''': ''[triumphantly]'' That's right!

===Episode 6A.Slave the Day===
:'''Narrator''': &quot;The city of Townsville... SMELLS&quot;?!! Say, what's going on here? &quot;The Mayor's dumb&quot;?! That's just rude!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Big Billy &quot;reads&quot; the girls a bedtime story]''
:'''Big Billy''': &quot;So the 3 Little Wolves went to the pig's house, and they said, 'FE FI FO FUM, you sure have big teeth, Grandma!' And so Hansel and the 3 Blind Mice climbed up the beanstalk to sell Mother Goose an old shoe!&quot;

===Episode 6B.Los Dos Mojos===
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[beating up Mojo Jojo]'' Take this! And that! And some of this! And one of those!
:'''Blossom:''' Buttercup, if Mojo Jojo is here, he can't possibly be the one destroying Townsville!
:'''Buttercup:''' Then who's in the Robo Jojo?
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' Why don't you see for yourself?
:''[The machine opens, revealing an amnesiac Bubbles in Mojo Jojo's clothes]''
:'''Blossom, Buttercup:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Narrator:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Mayor:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Talking Dog:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Crowd:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''(sarcastically)'' Bubbles.
:'''Bubbles:''' ''[imitating Mojo]'' I am not Bubbles! Bubbles is not who I am! I am the one, the only, single solitary doer of dastardly deeds! Purveyor of pestilence! And deliverer of lawlessness! I'm a menace to mankind! I am bad! I am evil! I am Mojo Jojo! Hahahahahahahaha!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''[annoyed]'' I do not talk like that! The way I communicate is ''much'' different! I do not reiterate, repeat, reinstate the same thing over and over again! I am clear! Concise! To-the-point! I-
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[beating him up again]'' Take this! And that! And some of this! And one of those!
:'''Blossom:''' What kind of evil have you bestowed upon our sister?!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' You've got to be kidding. I'm wet! I'm naked! Your sister is wearing my clothes! And this is all part of some evil plot... '''TO RULE THE WORLD AS A SOGGY CHIMP IN MY BIRTHDAY SUIT?!?!?'''
:'''Blossom:''' Buttercup, I don't think Mojo is behind this one. That bonk to Bubbles' head must have led her to believe that she is Mojo Jojo!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''[sarcastic]'' No, really? Do you think?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Narrator:''' ''[Mojo Bubbles just hit Blossom across a brick building]'' Uh-oh, Bubbles done a bad thing!
:''[An upset Blossom is about to attack Mojo Bubbles but Buttercup prevents her]''
:'''Buttercup:''' Blossom, wait! She's our sister!
:'''Blossom:''' Yeah, but that really hurt.
:'''Buttercup:''' I know, I know. But two wrongs don't make a right. She hits you, you hit her. Suddenly we’re all hitting each other, then we’ll all be right back where we started.
:'''Bubbles:''' ''[imitating Mojo Jojo]'' What's the matter, Buttercup? 'Fraid I'll whoop the skirt off you?
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[annoyed]'' Alright, let's kick her butt.
:'''Blossom:''' ''[preventing her]'' No, Buttercup. You’re right. She is our sister. And as sisters, we have an intrinsic duty; to uphold peace. Not only for the city of Townsville, but amongst ourselves.
:'''Bubbles''': ''[imitating Mojo Jojo]'' Prepare to meet your maker!
:'''Blossom and Buttercup''': ''[outraged]'' You leave the professor out of this!
:''[Then Mojo Bubbles proceeds to beat up her sisters]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' '''RIGHT ON! WE DID IT!''' We finally destroyed the Powerpuff Girls! Now there is no one to stop us! Hand in hand, we can work together! '''WE CAN RULE THE WORLD!''' Just you and me, Bubbles.
:'''Bubbles:''' ''[imitating Mojo]'' I am not Bubbles! Bubbles is not my name! For the name &quot;Bubbles&quot; is not the correct name to address me by, because it is not my name! If you were to address me by the name &quot;Mojo Jojo,&quot; that would be correct, for my name is Mojo Jojo! And I will only be addressed by that name, which is Mojo Jojo! And furthermore, it is not &quot;we&quot; who will rule the world - it is &quot;I&quot;! I, being Mojo Jojo - who is not Bubbles - shall rule this world alone, which is to say, without anybody else, and without anybody else shall I rule this world! And when this world is ruled by only one person, and not a collective group, that one person who shall be ruling the world will be none other than me, Mojo Jojo! ''[evil laugh]''
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''[annoyed and angrily]'' &lt;Big&gt;'''Oh, SHUT UP!!!'''&lt;/Big&gt; ''[swings a girder which hits Bubbles' head in slow-mo just as he did at the beginning of the show, knocking out Bubbles's memory, then, in normal speed, he reclaims his helmet and puts it back on]'' That's all just well enough, because in reality there is only room enough in this world for one Mojo Jojo. [[w:Monty Python and the Holy Grail|One shall be the number of Mojo Jojos in the world, and the number of Mojo Jojos in the world shall be one! Two Mojo Jojos is too many, and three is right out!]] So, the only Mojo Jojo there is room for in the world SHALL BE ME! ''(echoing)'' And being the only Mojo Jojo in the world, I will rule the world, in which there is ''only one'' '''MOJO JOJO!!!''' ''[evil laugh]''
:'''Bubbles:''' ''[regains consciousness as her normal self]'' What happened? ''[sees all the damages she did as Mojo Jojo, then gasps]'' There is only one evildoer who could've done this to Townsville, and that's... ''[notices Mojo laughing]'' MOJO JOJO! ''[proceeds to attack him]''
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[pointing]'' Look!
:'''Blossom:''' It looks like Bubbles is back to her sweet old self again.
:'''Buttercup:''' That's good. ’Cause there certainly isn't enough room in the world for ''two'' Mojo Jojos.
:'''Blossom:''' I heard that!
:'''Narrator:''' Yeah, and so did we - over a million times! We get it already! And so once again, the day is saved, thanks to Mojo Bubbles...er the Powerpuff... Ah, heck, the day was saved. ''[imitating Mojo]'' So says me, the Narrator. So-called because I speak the narrative of the story! I advance the plot! I begin and end each episode of ''The Powerpuff Girls!'' '''''Me! The Narrator!'''''

===Episode 7A.Very Special Blossom===
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Ahhh! My master is completed! Happy father's day! My captian, I wish you were here to enjoy
:''(Blossom crashes in and made Mojo scream in bloody hell as Blossom tides Mojo's body with tape)''
:''(Scene changes to a prison)''
:'''Buttercup''': It's Blossom!
:'''Blossom''': Look! I can explain everything! The professor shouldn't be in jail for stealing any golf clubs! It's all Mojo's fault!
:''(Mojo muffles a protest that he didn't do it)''
:'''Mayor''': I say, Chief. We made a terrible mistake. Didn't we?
:'''Buttercup''': ''(angrily)'' Wait a minute, Blossom! You told me you found those clubs! Which is it? Did you find them? Or did he sell it to you? Come on, Blossom! TELL THE TRUTH!
:'''Bubbles''': YEAH! YOU BIG FAT LIAR!
:'''Buttercup''': COME ON!!!
:'''Professor''': Please, Tell the truth, Blossom!
:'''Buttercup''': ''(as Blossom whimpers then tries to escape from her punishment)'' WATCH OUT!
:'''Bubbles''': She is getting away!
:'''Buttercup''': COME BACK HERE, AND QUIT LYING!
:''(They finally caught Blossom)''
:'''Blossom''': ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! ''(regretfully)'' I did it. I stole the golf clubs.
:'''Professor''': But why, Blossom! Why?!?!
:'''Blossom''': Because you wanted it so much, And I just wanted to make you happy!
:'''Professor''': It's all my fault! ''(voice breaks down)'' I put too much value in a material item, instead of the love of you girls.
:'''Blossom''': And that's what drove a crime!
:'''Professor''': Oh, Mayor, please...go easy on Blossom. She's sorry. ''(to Blossom)'' Aren’t you, honey?
:'''Blossom''': ''(whines)'' Yes!
:'''Mayor''': What do you say, Officer? It is her first offense!
:'''Police Officer''': ''(as his voice breaks down)'' This is very sad. ''(angrily)'' BUT THE LAW IS THE LAW!
:''(We see Blossom's mugshot)''
:'''Narrator''': Blossom was sentenced to 300 hours of community service. This was a harsh reminder to herself and all that crime doesn't pay.
:'''Blossom''': Boy, you can say that again.
:'''Father Bird''': Well, it doesn't!
:'''Blossom''': Huh?
:'''Father Bird''': I said it doesn't!
:''(The baby birds agree to their father)''
:'''Narrator''': So once again, the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls! ''(we see Bubbles and Buttercup very angry at Blossom in a prison inmate uniform)'' Well, Two of them at least.
:''(Bubbles and Buttercup leave as we see Blossom behind bars)''

===Episode 7B.Daylight Savings===
:'''The Time Channel announcer:''' Welcome to the time channel, where we give you up-to-the-minute time, 24 hours a day. Up next, the current time. Hello. I’m Sonny Dial, here to bring you the latest time. But first, I hope all of you remembered that last night was Daylight Savings, which means everyone sets their clocks back by one hour. That makes our current time 6:41. I’ll be back at 6:42 with the up-to-the-minute time.
:'''Professor:''' ''(realizing as he checks all the clock including his watch'') CRIKEY! I FORGOT TO SET THE CLOCKS BACK! ''(kicks down the bedroom door, turns on the light, rushes to the bed pulling covers away)'' Girls, wake up! GIRLS, WAKE UP!!! ''(slamming hotline receiver in cradle repeatedly)'' Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! ''(grabs mattress)'' Get out of bed! NOW! ''(flips the mattress; the girls are now awake, and he's panting frantically)'' Daylight savings, clocks wrong, forty-five minutes, save Townsville now!
:'''Blossom''': But what about our curfew?
:'''Professor''': There's no time! ''(throws them out their windows one at a time)'' GO! GO! GO!

===Episode 11A.Twisted Sister===
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Blossom''': The first thing we need is sugar.
:'''Bubbles''': I'll get it! ''[Dashes on the left]''
:'''Blossom''': And spice.
:'''Buttercup''': I'm on it! ''[Dashes on the right]''
:'''Blossom''': Next you need...
:'''Bubbles''': ''[Comes back with a sweet powder]'' I couldn't find any sugar, but I did find an artificial sweetener.
:'''Blossom''': That's okay. Next you need...
:'''Buttercup''': ''[Comes back with dirt, twigs and leaves]'' I didn't know where to get spices, so I got dirt and twigs and stuff.
:'''Blossom''': Well, that's kinda like spices. Put it in. Now, next you need...everything nice!
:'''Girls''': Oh, boy! ''[The three fly out]''
:'''Bubbles''': Crayons are nice.
:'''Blossom''': Books are nice.
:'''Buttercup''': Lizards are nice!
:'''Bubbles''': I like flowers.
:'''Blossom''' Computers are good.
:'''Buttercup''': A football!
:'''Bubbles''': Stuffed animals!
:'''Blossom''': A calculator.
:'''Buttercup''': A mackerel.
:'''Bubbles''': More flowers.
:'''Blossom''': A compass.
:'''Buttercup''': Boxing gloves.
:'''Bubbles''': Ribbon!
:'''Blossom''': Art.
:'''Buttercup''': Band aids.
:'''Bubbles''': A smiley face.
:'''Blossom''': A globe.
:'''Buttercup''': ''[Punches the bowl]'' A knuckle sandwich!
:'''Blossom''': Okay. The final and most important step is to accidentally add Chemical X to the concoction.
:''[The girls make awkward faces and dash out and Blossom holds a beaker that looks like Chemical X]''
:'''Blossom''': Oh, look at what I found, girls. Chemical X.
:'''Bubbles''': Be careful with that Chemical X.
:'''Buttercup''': Yes, Blossom. Whatever you do, do not drop that Chemical X.
:'''Blossom''': Don't worry, I wo...''[Drops the beaker]'' Whoops! I accidentally dropped the Chemical X. And it fell into the concoction.
:'''Girls''': Oh, no.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Narrator''': Hurry, girls, hurry! You created a monster! 
:'''Girls''': Bunny!
:'''Bunny''': Wha?
:'''Bubbles''': What have you done?
:'''Bunny''': Bunny do good! Bunny do good!
:'''Buttercup''': No, Bunny do bad. Very bad!
:'''Bunny''': Bad?
:'''Blossom''': Yes, bad. You're supposed to stop crime, not help start it. I guess you're not cut out to be a Powerpuff Girl after all.
:'''Bunny''': No Powawull?
:'''Girls''': No.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': Wha...Wh-Wh-Wh-What happened?
:'''Blossom''': Bunny saved us!
:'''Buttercup''': But...where is she?
:''[A part of Bunny's dress lands in front of them]''
:'''Girls''': ''[gasp]'' Bunny!
:'''Bubbles''': Oh no! She exploded!
:'''Buttercup''': But why?
:'''Blossom''': I guess she was unstable, and the blast broke her down into her original ingredients. 
:'''Bubbles''': She was good after all... ''[starts to cry]'' ''We'' were the ones who were bad.
:''[They hang their heads in shame.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:''[At the end of the episode]''
:'''Narrator''': [''crying hard for a few seconds''] Oh, it's so sad, I can't take it. And so, for the first...and final time...the day is saved, thanks to Powerpuff Bunny! 
:'''Bunny''': Powawul!
:'''Narrator''': ''[crying harder for a few more seconds]'' Oh, why? WHY?!?...Oh, go to a commercial!

===Episode 11B.Cover Up===
:''[holding a blanket to her cheek]''
:'''Buttercup''': I am a good fighter. I am a good fighter.  I am a good fighter.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[after crying and pounding the counter in frustration]'' Where's my blanket?!
:'''Bubbles:''' We don't have time for this, Buttercup.
:'''Blossom:''' ''[worried]'' Townsville is in trouble.
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[losing it completely]'' '''''NOOOOOOOO!!'' I NEED MY BLANKET!!'''

===Episode 12A.Speed Demon===
:'''Him''': ''[laughs; effeminate]'' Don't you know the faster you go, time slows down? Your time stopped for fifty years whilst you were out racing around. 
:'''Blossom''': I know that voice!
:'''Him''': Seconds, minutes, hours, days and nights all crawl by on hands and knees as you race the speed of light.
:''[Him has now emerged. The Girls gasp in horror]''
:'''Him''': Yes! Coming back now? Remember?
:''[Buttercup remembers her dare to her sisters: &quot;So - which of you slowpokes wants to race me home?&quot;]''
:'''Buttercup''': No!
:'''Him''': Yes! As you raced through time, the whole world went to ''[demonic]'' '''Heck!'''
:'''Blossom''': You lie! Don't believe him, Girls!
:''[The Girls severely attack and batter Him, but he seems totally unaffected]''
:'''Him''': Are you finished?
:'''Buttercup''': No, but ''you'' are!
:'''Blossom''': Don't you know you can never beat us?
:'''Him''': Beat you? ''[eyes start glowing]'' But girls, don't you see? I've ''[demonic]'' '''already  ''WON!'''''
:''[He transforms into the larger, more terrifying monster version of himself]''
:'''Him''': The beauty lies in the blame, because ''[demonic]'' '''it's ''your'' fault for leaving! Just ask your friends.'''
:'''Citizens''': ''[variously]'' Powerpuff Girls. You did this? You did this?
:'''Blossom''': No!
:'''Him''': All ''I'' did was take over. ''[demonic]'' '''It was ''easy!'''''
:'''Citizens''': Why'd you leave us, Powerpuff Girls? Why? You weren't here to protect us. You weren't here. It's your fault. ''[chanting]'' Your fault.
:'''Blossom''': What have we done?!
:''[Him laughs demonically]''
:'''Citizens''': ''[still chanting]'' Your fault.
:'''Buttercup''': No. No! NO!
:'''Bubbles''': WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!? ''[begins to cry]''
:''[The Powerpuff Girls, screaming in defiance, fly into space, then dive back to earth at supersonic speeds, thus going back in time]''
:'''Citizen''': Hi, girls!
:'''BB''': Hi!
:'''Ms. Keane''': Hi, girls!
:'''BB''': Hi!
:'''Mayor''': Hi, girls!
:'''Professor Utonium''': Hi, girls!
:''[the Girls sorrowfully hug the professor and explained what happened during their speedy time travel]''

==Season 3==
5 Episodes by February 2, 2000 - December 31, 2001

===Episode 0A.Helter Shelter===

===Episode 0B.Moxy===

===Episode 1A.Fallen Arches===

===Episode 1B.The Mane Event===

===Episode 2A.Town and Out===
:'''Proffessor''': ''(taking his head to the opended window)'' I love this town!!!!! ''(echoing)''
:'''Man''': ''(off-screen,angry)'' Ahh shut up ya jerk !!!!!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Citiesville Mayor''': ''(quietly, sternly)'' Let me tell you some words. At what point did it seem like a good idea to blow up the Cityville Bridge? 
:'''Blossom''': Uhh...
:'''Citiesville Mayor''': ''(waves his index finger at the girls)'' No! ''(getting off desk)'' Do you realize the two crooks that you caught stole approximately ''(holds up four fingers on the word &quot;four&quot;)'' four hundred dollars? ''(with intensifying rage)'' Do you realize that you did over three ''(and pounds the desk on the word &quot;million&quot;)'' '''''MILLION DOLLARS IN PROPERTY DAMAGE TO THAT BRIDGE?!''''' '''''IT'S NOT REPLACEABLE!''''' ''(a scared Blossom blinks up at him, and he sighs as he looks despondently out his window at the destroyed bridge, much calmer now, but still very upset)'' Also, that bridge is — or ''was'' — a historical landmark. ''(unfurling flag on pole)'' I mean, it's on our flag, for Pete's sakes! It's also the main thoroughfare into the city! ''(dropping flag)'' Nobody actually lives in Citiesville! ''(voice trailing into tears)'' They commute! ''(cries for a moment, then quickly pulls himself together to turn back and glare at the girls, holding up a piece of paper)'' This is a bill prohibiting the use of superpowers in the town of Citiesville. ''(signing it)'' You're hereby forbidden by law to use any of your powers within the city limits. ''(hands the document to the girls and points at the door, menacingly)'' Now, get out of my sight!

===Episode 2B.Child Fearing===
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Prepare your taste buds delight! For I, Mojo Jojo, am not only the number one villain in Townsville, but I am also...number one chef in Townsville!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Blarney the Sea Serpent''': ''[on television]'' If...I were a bunny I'd...HOP, HOP, HOP! HOP, HOP, HOP! HOP, HOP, HOP! HOP, HOP, HOP! ''[the Girls hop, shaking the floor and waking Mojo up]'' If...I were a rhino I'd...STOMP, STOMP, STOMP! STOMP, STOMP, STOMP! STOMP, STOMP, STOMP! ''[the Girls stomp, upsetting Mojo even more]'' If...I were a fish I would...SCREAM, SCREAM, SCREAM! SCREAM, SCREAM, SCREAM! SCREAM, SCREAM, SCREAM! ''[the Girls scream, making Mojo cover his ears in irritation]'' Okay, lads and lasses. Now let's all join in.
:''[The Girls look towards Mojo deviously]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[terrified]'' Oh no, no-! ''[they grab him]''
:'''Blarney the Sea Serpent''': ''[on television]'' If I were a log, I'd ROLL! ROLL! ROLL!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[as the Girls roll him across the floor]'' STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WAIT!
:'''Blarney the Sea Serpent''': ''[on television]''If I were a ball, I'd BOUNCE! BOUNCE! BOUNCE!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[as the Girls dribble him like a ball]'' HELP! I DO NOT LIKE THIS!
:'''Blarney the Sea Serpent''': ''[on television]'' If I were a rake, I'd RAKE! RAKE! RAKE! ''[the Girls take Mojo outside and rake the lawn with his teeth)'' If I were a hammer, I'd POUND! POUND! POUND! ''[the Girls slam Mojo upside-down onto a block of wood]'' If I were a candle, I'd...
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[annoyed]'' '''ENOOOOUUUUGH!!!''' I HAVE HAD IT!! ''[seizing the Girls and takes them upstairs]'' IT'S...TIME...FOR...'''BEEEEEED!!!''' ''[tosses them into bed]'' Whew! Finally, Mojo get peace.
:'''Buttercup''': Where are you going?
:''[Cut to the girls in bed, now wearing their nightgowns]''
:'''Bubbles''': Aren't you going to read us a story?
:'''Blossom''': We can't sleep without a story!
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah!
:''[We pull back to show Mojo at the doorway, crying and whimpering, his back to the girls. Then he turns around]''
:'''Mojo''': ''[begging]'' All right! ''[kneeling]'' But only if you go to sleep! ''[the girls nod and point toward the side of the bed. He sits down on a stool there]'' Very well, then. I will tell you my favorite story...ABOUT THE GREATEST CONQUEROR WHO EVER LIVED! [[w:Napoleon Bonaparte|Napoleon]]! ''[he envisions himself as Napoleon]'' He was a mighty man, feared by all who looked up to him. Using his genius and his loyal army, he conquered all of Europe, then all of Russia, and finally the whole world. The end.
:'''The Powerpuff Girls''': ''[sing-song voice]'' BO-RING!
:''[Mojo's vision is shattered]''
:'''Blossom''': Your story's all wrong! Napoleon's 1807 seizure of Portugal and the subsequent Rebellion by the Spaniards cost France over 300,000 casualties, untold sums of money, and contributed to the eventual weakening of the Napoleonic Empire! ''[whacks Mojo with her pillow]''
:'''Bubbles''': And your analysis on the Invasion of Russia is also incorrect! Napoleon's invasion of 1812 resulted in ''massive'' casualties of his troops, due to starvation and inclement conditions, and ended in a disastrous retreat from Moscow with his army ''defeated!'' ''[whacks Mojo with her pillow]''
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah, dummy! And when he returned to France, the Allied Nations of Europe united against him, which led to his eventual defeat at the Battle of Waterloo on June 18, 1815, whereafter he was exiled to the island of St. Helena, where he died a ''miserable'' death from stomach cancer on May 5, 1821, stupid! ''[whacks Mojo with her pillow]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Narrator''': If I were a narrator, I'd end this show! And so once again, the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!

===Episode 3.Criss Cross Crisis===
:'''Buttercup/Professor''': Bubbles, come on!
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': I'm not going!
:'''Blossom/Ms. Bellum''': What are you talking about?
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': ''[softly]'' I'm not going out there
:'''Buttercup/Professor''': ''(scoffs)'' Why not?
:''[Bubbles, in the Mayor's body, begins to sob]''
:'''Blossom/Ms. Bellum''': Well?
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': ''[turns on light and reveals bald spot]'' I'M BALD!!!
:'''Buttercup/Professor''': ''[scoffs]'' Ugh, you're so sensitive!
:'''Blossom/Ms. Bellum''': Don't be silly, you're not bald. You have plenty of hair, see? Look. ''[combs Bubbles in the Mayor's body's hair]'' There, now you look just like a normal person.
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': Really? Do I, Professor?
:'''Professor/Buttercup''': Uhm...yeah! You look great! Right, Mr. Mayor?
:'''Mayor/Bubbles''': Yeah, sure. Whatever
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': OK, let's go!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo/Old Lady''': ''[laughing evily]'' A priceless vase, and I have taken it for myself without paying! ''[hearing something]'' Hey, what's that sound? Oh, it's so familiar. Hmm, it's on the tip of my tongue. Ah, oh, of course, it's the... ''[getting tackled]'' Oh, The Powerpuff Girls!
:'''Girls/Ms. Bellum, Mayor, and Professor''': That's right, Mojo!
:'''Mojo Jojo/Old Lady''': Mojo? But I'm just an old lady!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo/Old Lady''': It's polyduranium fibroid, you can't break it. You're trapped and TOTALLY HELPLESS! ''[laughing evilly]''
:'''Girls/Ms. Bellum, Mayor, and Professor''': You forgot one thing, Mojo!
:'''Mojo Jojo/Old Lady''': What? ''[the girls hit him with a laser]'' Ow, oh, ow, ow...ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, oh, ow.

===Episode 4A.Bubblevision===
:'''Professor''': Bubbles, you look super.

===Episode 13A.Helter Shelter===
:'''Blossom''': All right, Bubbles! What animal do you have hiding in there?!
:'''Bubbles''': He's not an animal, ''[opens the door and shows a blue whale in their bedroom]'' he's a mammal!

===Episode 7A.Jewel of the Aisle===
:'''The Powerpuff Girls''': ''[Sing-song voice]'' Lucky Captain Rabbit King! Lucky Captain Rabbit King! Lucky Captain Rabbit King!
:'''Thief''': ''[disguised as Lucky Captain Rabbit King]'' All right, cool it down! Cool it down. Now, uh... ''[clears his throat]'' Listen up. The Captain and Tennille has a headache. I'm just here for some cereal, then I'll be on my way. ''[reaches for the box of Lucky Captain Rabbit King Nuggets]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[swipes thee cereal box]'' You think we're that stupid?
:'''Buttercup''': We know you have to try and trick us.
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah, just like in the commercials!
:'''Buttercup''': So don't come back until you've got something good! ''[slams the door in the thief's face. A moment later, the doorbell rings and she answers it]''
:'''Thief''': ''[in his fake deep voice]'' Hey, did you guys just see my twin brother?
:'''Buttercup''': ''[slams the door in his face again]'' Weak!

===Episode 7B.Super Zeroes===
:''[The Powerpuff Girls, inspired by their favorite superheroes from their comics, and calling themselves Liberty Belle, Harmony Bunny and Mange, are attempting to fight a monster, but are unable to harm it, much to the monster's annoyance]''
:'''Monster''': STOP!!
:'''Blossom''': What?
:'''Bubbles''': What?
:'''Buttercup''': Huh?
:'''Monster''': Better heroes, huh? Listen, girls. My name is Steve. I'm a monster. I've been coming here for three days causing all sorts of damage to your town, and what do I get? Two days of no-shows, and now this: A flag girl who does rope tricks, some rabbit, and Little Miss Darkness who's afraid of a little sun.
:'''Buttercup''': Hey, do you have any idea who you're talking to?
:'''Bubbles''': We're superheroes!
:'''Blossom''': Real ones!
:'''Steve the Monster''': You know, that's great and all. But, what am I supposed to tell all the guys back at Monster Isle? You see, when a monster visits Townsville, he must fight the Powerpuff Girls. And if he can hold his own and make it back to Monster Isle alive, he's a hero. Now, this new bit is just not gonna cut it. Sure, you didn't have a thirst for vengeance, stickers with faces on them, or souped-up vehicles, 'cause you didn't need them. You see, even if you take away the costumes, props and angst... ''[takes all of the Girls' costumes off, revealing them in their normal Powerpuff outfits]'' you still have all the bravery and courage it takes to save the day. So, what do you say, Powerpuff Girls?
:'''Blossom''': Let's get him!
:'''Steve the Monster''': Now, that's better.
:''[He gets beat up by the Girls]''
:'''Narrator''': So, once again, the day is saved...with no thanks to Liberty Belle, Harmony Bunny, or Mange...but to the one and only Powerpuff Girls!

===Episobe 12B.Meet the Beat-Alls===
:''[Opening shot of Townsville at night]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The city of Townsville. I hate you! I do not enjoy the fact that three superhero female children take up residence in you! ''[begins pacing]'' And by hurting me and forcing me to dwell in one of your correctional facilities, these mutant infant girls prevent me from obtaining political control of you! ''[stops pacing]'' But you will be mine, and they will most certainly-
:''[Cut to Him in his rotating chair]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Pay! I have been made a fool by you for the last time. But as they say, ''[rotating his chair]'' all good things must come to an end. And your end is-
:''[Scene changes to Princess Morbucks and her father]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': ''[talking to her father]'' Tonight! Think of it as an investment toward your future. ''[acting sweetly]'' If I don't destroy the Powerpuff Girls tonight, ''[suddenly shouting]'' I'LL NEVER GIVE YOU A DAY OF PEACE UNTIL I-
:''[Cut to Fuzzy trying to sing while playing with his banjo]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Doo...doo-doo-doo...doo-doo-doo-doo... ''[hits only wrong notes]'' Oh, I'm sorry, Jo. I can't play you purty tonight. I got them derned Powerpuffs in my noodle! And they make me so mad I wanna-
:''[Cut back to Mojo]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Destroy them, I will!''[stomping through the streets in his robot walker]'' Tonight is the night in which-
:''[Cut back to Him]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Your reign of goodness will end. ''[grows much taller]'' And my reign of ''[demonic voice]'' '''evil shall-'''
:''[Cut back to Princess, flying around with her jet thrusters]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Begin to take hold, as I take over-
:''[Cut back to Fuzzy, running around while carrying a large rock]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Townsville ain't gonna be no more after I get them Powerpuff-
:''[Cut to the Powerpuff Girls' bedroom]''
:'''Professor Utonium''': ''[off-screen]'' Girls, time for bed.
:''[The professor is seen, turning off the lights and closes the door. All was peaceful at night, until four villains showed up at the Powerpuff Girls' house unexpectedly]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Hey! What are y'all doing here?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Well, I'm here to destroy the Powerpuff Girls. And I can only assume that these two losers are here to watch a master at work.
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Listen, you pathethic primate! It is I who shall destroy the Powerpuff Girls, not you!''' ''[effeminate['' So, why not run along and have a banana?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh, that is a misconception! Just because I am a monkey does not mean I'm a banana addict!
:''[Him and Mojo begin to argue for seconds]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': ''[shouting]'' Quiet! Now, listen. It doesn't matter that you get all your little gadgets, or that you're the ultimate evil. All that matters is that I destroy the Powerpuff Girls! Which I will, because I have the most powerful power in the whole wide world. ''[takes out a stack of money]'' COLD HARD CASH!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': She has a point there.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Yes, she does.
:''[Pause]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': But, still!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Yeah!
:''[They resume arguing, along with Princess]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Hey, I wanna fight, too.
:''[He joins in the argument, but the girls woke up angrily, having enough of the argument, and fly out of their windows]''
:'''Bubbles''': ''[shouting]'' '''''SHUT UP!!!!'''''
:'''Blossom''': We're trying to sleep!
:'''Buttercup''': We'll kick your butts tomorrow.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': IT'S-
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' THE-
:'''Princess Morbucks''': GIRLS!
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': GET 'EM!
:''[Mojo fires laser beams from his robot, Him fires with his energy beam from his mouth, and Princess fires her blaster rays from her hands, hit the girls, causing them to scream in pain. The girls sink slowly to ground level in front of Fuzzy. He stands there for some moments, watching their torment, and his eyes finally turn up to the rock he is holding. He gathers his strength and hurls it; the camera follows it as it flies through the air in slow motion and lands squarely on them, sprawled out on the ground still screaming in agony before they are silenced by the rock landing on them. An eerie hush falls over the scene. Fade to black. Turn down to the four villains, staring in shock and disbelief. Quick shot of the rock on the front lawn, still pinning the girls, then back to the four]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Did we just do what I think we did?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Yes. Individually, we have failed time and again. But together, we are victorious!
:'''Princess Morbucks''': I propose we join forces, and merge into one super-villain conglomerate!
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup? We beat 'em? We beat all of 'em?
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' That's it! We will be known as...the Silver Beat-Alls!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No. Too fancy. We shall be known as...the Beat-Alls!
:''[All four smile wickedly, and the scene around their faces fades to black as the opening guitar riff of &quot;A Hard Day's Night&quot; is heard. The faces themselves are half-hidden in shadow and in black and white, a la the Beatles album With the Beatles, but the shadows are on the opposite half]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Cut to the group of screaming young girls, very frightened, different than screaming fans from the 1960s as the parody tune of A Hard Day's Night plays]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' Yes, screaming girls everywhere ran screaming whenever the Beat-Alls made the scene. ''[the foursome come into view and walk single file along a crosswalk, in a scene reminiscent of the Beatles' album Abbey Road]'' Individually, it had been a long and winding road. ''[they enter the National Trust Bank]'' But together, the Beat-Alls, or the &quot;Bad Four&quot;, as they were also known, had finally conquered Townsville.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[points his laser gun at the tellers]'' Now give me money! That's what I want!
:''[She piles cash on the counter]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' Their rise to fame can be attributed to their ability to deliver hit after hit after hit... ''[the girls arrive]'' ...to the Powerpuff Girls.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice'' Ah, I should have known better.
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' With Mojo Jojo on blaster rays...
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Better run for your lives if you can, little girls! ''[fires his laser gun at the girls, who cry out in pain as they are hit]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' The acidic spit stylings of Him...
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' Goo goo '''GOT YOU'''! ''[spits a beam at the Girls, who still cry out in pain]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' Princess accompanying Mojo on blasters...
:'''Princess Morbucks''': You say stop, but I say go, go, GO! ''[fires her blasters from her hands at the Girls, who cry out in pain the third time]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' And Fuzzy, the shy one...
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': ''[straining]'' I'm gonna let you down and leave you flat! ''[throws the rock and crushes the girls, silencing them]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' ...provides the rock. ''[the tellers regard the scene with fear, and the Beat Alls take a bow with their loot]'' Thus the Brutish Invasion had begun. ''[the girls are blasted and crushed as the parody tune of A Day in the Life plays]'' Again... ''[they're blasted and crushed again]'' and again... ''[they're blasted and crushed for the last time]'' and again... ''[the camera turns up to show the Beat-Alls leaning over a balcony railing and smiling down at their latest victory, reminiscent of the Beatles' album Please Please Me]'' ...the girls were defeated by the Beat Alls. ''[cut to an ornate room, looking out the open door. The girls are in the doorway, somehow completely unharmed]'' Till eventually, ''[they disappear]'' the girls stopped showing up entirely. ''[camera turns around quickly; we see a flash of a terrified crowd before the Beat-Alls are seen on a stage, pummeling a band whose members bear a striking resemblance to the Beatles]'' And the Beat Alls had a ticket to ride.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[to the audience]'' Will the people in the cheap seats, please leave! And the rest of you, hand over your jewelry!
:''[Hands holding watches, necklaces, and rings reach up into view. Cut to a quick succession of B&amp;W head shots of each villain in various goofy poses]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' Having finally bested the Powerpuff Girls, the Beat-Alls rushed to the top of the charts of the Most Wanted list. ''[four rows of five photos each, one villain per row, appear on the screen with the word &quot;WANTED&quot; above them. The scene cuts to the police station]'' When questioned, authorities had this to say.
:''[Close-up of a tall, white-mustached, ornately dressed policeman, who resembled to Old Fred from Yellow Submarine, at a podium, with microphones set up before him]''
:'''Sgt. Pepper''': Thank you. My name is Sergeant Pepper of the Townsville Police, and at the request of my commanding officers, I'd like to make this statement. ''[clearing throat, as the parody tune of Hey Bulldog begins]'' Help! We need somebody! Help! Not just anybody! Help! We need the Powerpuff Girls! ''[clearing throat again]'' Thank you.
:''[Cut to the reporter, who narrated the whole scene, outside the Powerpuff Girls' house]''
:'''Stuart Best''': So there you have it. The Beat-Alls have taken over; the girls have taken off. Will they return? Perhaps, perhaps not. But as they say, tomorrow never knows. I'm Stuart Best, and this has been A Day in the Life.
Buttercup: Ugh! Turn it off! ''[the TV is turned off]'' Who would make a stupid documentary about the Beat Alls, anyway?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Girls! Girls! I read the news today. Oh boy...
:'''Blossom''': ''[reading]'' 'Beat-Alls crash Mr Kite's benefit. Powerpuffs nowhere in sight.' So what?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Oh, girls...Yesterday all our troubles seemed so far away. Now it seems as though they're here to stay. Sitting here eight days a week, everyone seems to think you're lazy. I don't care, I think they're crazy. But you used to be running everywhere at such a speed! Now you think there's no need.
:'''Buttercup''': There isn't!
:'''Bubbles''': If we can't stop the Beat-Alls...
:'''Blossom''': We're never saving the day again.
:'''Professor Utonium''': Oh, you can't do that. What will Townsville do when they look for the girls with the sun in their eyes and they're gone?
:'''Blossom''': But what can we do?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Well, first of you have to realize that the Beat-Alls are just a rock band.
:'''Girls''': Huh?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Fuzzy, he does that- that- rock thing. But that's not important. What ''is'' important is this: Mojo Jojo was a man who thought he was a loner, but he knew it couldn't last. He's just getting by with a little help from his friends.
:'''Buttercup''': Are you saying we should try to break up the Beat-Alls?
:'''Bubbles''': Is that possible?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Sure. I'm certain that it happens all the time.
:'''Girls''': But how?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Listen: Do you want to know a secret? ''[whispers in the girls ears]''
:'''Narrator''': Sounds like the Professor has some magical mystery tricks up his sleeve!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Cut to the exterior of the Bank of the Imperial Garden. An alarm is going off. Inside, the Beat-Alls kick in the front door, ready to rob it clean like so many other banks they knocked off]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[aiming his laser gun]'' I want to hold your cash!
:'''Man''': ''[pointing]'' Too late. Somebody beat you to it.
:''[During the parody tune of I Want You (She's So Heavy), Mojo, dumbfounded, sees the teller shoveling cash into a bag,. His eyes turn upward, and we see a stepladder reaching almost to the ceiling, with a magnifying glass hanging nearby. He climbs the ladder for a closer look and finds some tiny writing over his head. Using the glass, he finds these words: &quot;This is A Stick up!&quot;]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[softly]'' Brilliant! ''[jumping down, normal tone]'' Who is responsible for this?! Who is behind such a unique and innovative approach to committing... ''[the figure at the counter, turns around, facing Mojo. It is a female monkey, with a pink face, long black hair, and white clothes]'' crimes? ''[during the parody tune of Strawberry Fields Forever, smiling Alternate between close-ups of the female robber and Mojo four times. The attraction is written all over his face; hers never wavers from its enigmatic smile]'' I've got to get you into my life! ''[she lets loose a scream at eardrum-piercing levels]'' I love you too!
:''[The other three Beat-Alls, at the front door, watch with some concern]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice, clapping claw to forehead]'' Oh, no!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[walking up with female]'' Hey, guys, this is Moko Jono. She’s a performance criminal, and she’s conceived some brilliant schemes that I think we should try.
:''[The other three trade a very worried look at what this new addition might mean for their group]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[We dissolve to all five of them, the Beat-Alls plus Moko, lying side by side in a king-size bed with a white blanket over them. Mojo's blue tunic has been replaced by a white one, and his braincap now sports white accents at its base]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Uh, why are we doin' this again?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': It's called &quot;Annoyance Crime Number Nine.&quot; Our concept is this. Imagine all the people- ''[pull back overhead; the bed is in the middle of an intersection, with traffic backed up in all directions. We hear horns honking]'' and how annoyed they’ll be that they can’t reach their destinations on time!
:''[Close-up of the group. Mojo and Moko laugh at the idea, but the others are not too enthused]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Cut to a quick succession of close-ups of the following items on store shelves: eggs, toilet paper, milk, light bulbs, and flour. Each is quickly snatched up; cut to a side view of the quintet going down a supermarket aisle, with a shopping cart full of these groceries with the parody tune of The Ballad of John and Yoko. Mojo and Moko push the cart while the other three carry armloads of items. We see that Mojo's cape matches his white tunic]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': So tell us again why we're only stealing toilet paper, light bulbs, milk, flour, and eggs.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Well, Moko's idea is that stealing items that are all white isn't against the law. So it's okay to take them.
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Huh?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': It's all right 'cause they're all white!
:''[Princess sighs in disgust, Him looks very annoyed, and Fuzzy drops his load]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mojo and his new girlfriend, Moko Jono, are both screeching loudly. Him, Princess and Fuzzy are covering their ears]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Mojo?! Mojo?! ''[demonic voice]'' '''MOJO!'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': WHAT?!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' I still don't get it!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The louder you yell, the more pain it causes the listener! ''[six shots of Townsville citizens, including four guys resembling the Beatles from Yellow Submarine, covering their ears]'' AND! THEIR! PAIN! IS! OUR! PLEASURE!!!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''UGH! MOJO, ''YOU'RE'' THE PAIN!'''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN!
:'''Princess Morbucks''': WE QUIT!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': WHAT?!
:'''Him, Princess and Fuzzy''': ''WE QUIT!''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': GOOD, GOOD! BUT EVEN LOUDEEEEER!
:''[Him, Princess and Fuzzy leave in annoyance]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Now what do we do?
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate and demonic voice]'' Let's [[w:Get Back|get back to where we once belonged]].

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

==Season 4==
===Him Diddle Riddle [4.1]===
:''[After the girls solve the first riddle]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Congratulations! One down, eight to go. And remember, you must solve these riddles within the time limit. Fail in any aspect and ''[demonic voice]'' '''the Professor will pay!'''
:'''Buttercup''': You tell us where the Professor is, Him!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Ah-ah-ah. You've brought joy to the people for so many years. Now to their eyes, you must bring tears. ''[demonic]'' '''You've got two minutes.'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the second riddle]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Very clever! Oh, you got that one without trying. Now do this without flying! Go to the corner of Chang and Ching, there on the street the phone will ring. What then, you might ask? Answer the phone to get your next task. ''[demonic]'' '''You've got three minutes!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the third riddle]''
:'''Blossom''': We did it, Him. Now what?
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Well, well. Presidential Fitness Awards all around. ''[demonic]'' '''Now let's excercise your brain!''' ''[effeminate]'' Train A left Pokey Oaks train station at 11:40 at a hundred miles per hour. Train B left Norwalk Station 10 minutes later at 90 miles per hour heading towards Train A. ''[demonic]'' '''Where will they collide?'''
:'''Bubbles''': Math?! I hate math!
:'''Blossom''': Bubbles! Think of the Professor!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' You've got one minute!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;  
:''[Blossom is doing math on an abacus after Him tells her that she's got 1 minute]''
:'''Buttercup''': Can't you abacus any faster?
:'''Blossom''': &quot;Abacus&quot; my butt!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the fourth riddle]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Well, girls, you caught these two trains right on time.
:'''Blossom''': We're finished with this nonsense, Him! Now where's the Professor?
:'''Him''': But I've only just started! In the ear of corn, you will find happiness, joy, and the ties that bind. Squirrels store nuts and birds sing songs, but in the Cave of Eternity, everyone's wrong. On the limb of a tree, there's a monkey who's free, and there he will give you something for me. ''[demonic]'' '''You've got two minutes; 45 seconds!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the fifth riddle, which ironically, took place during the commercial break. The girls are panting from exhaustion as Him licks an ice cream]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' I can't believe you got that one right! ''[resumes licking]'' You got the right flavor and everything! ''[resumes licking]''
:'''Blossom''': We'd go to the ends of the Earth for the Professor!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Touching.''' ''[effeminate]'' Now here's something I hope you'll really enjoy!
:''[Two Ms. Keanes are tied in a rope, hanging on top of a vat of boiling sharks]''
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': Ms. Keane!
:'''Him''': Yes'm! The real Ms. Keane will tell you the truth. The fake one will tell you a lie. Discover which is your beloved teacher and she'll be saved. Fail, and they both will be dropped into this vat of boiling sharks.
:'''Ms. Keanes''': Girls, help!
:'''Him''': You may ask them only one question. So make it count! ''[demonic]'' '''45 seconds! Go!'''
:'''Bubbles''': This one’s easy! All we have to do is ask which one is the real Ms. Keane.
:'''Blossom''': Not quite, Bubbles. The one that lies will just tell us she’s the real Ms. Keane.
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah, don’t be stupid, Bubbles. I’ll just ask which one wants a knuckle sandwich!
:'''Blossom''': Same problem, Buttercup. We need a question they’ll have to answer differently.
:'''Bubbles''': I know, I know! Let’s ask what their favorite color is.
:'''Buttercup''': And just where will that get us?
:'''Bubbles''': I bet it'd be nice to know.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Not so easy, is it? ''[demonic]'' '''Time’s running out.''' 
:'''Blossom''': Ooh, ooh! I know, I know! Ms. Keanes... who will the other Ms. Keane say is the real Ms. Keane?
:''[The two Keanes exchange a nervous glance]''
:'''Keane 2''': She would say that I was the real Ms. Keane!
:'''Keane 1''': And she would say that she was the real Ms. Keane!
:'''Blossom''': It’s so apparent! It’s obvious that the liar would say that the real Ms. Keane would say that the fake Ms. Keane is the real Ms. Keane. And conversely, the real Ms. Keane would say that the fake Ms. Keane would say she is the real Ms. Keane. So therefore, the real Ms. Keane is none other than... number two! ''[Bubbles and Buttercup look at Him who is stunned]''
:'''Him''': ''[shrugs]'' She’s right.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the sixth riddle]''
:'''Blossom''': Bring on the next riddle, evil dude! I'm smoking!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''You think you're so smart?''' ''[makes himself and the girls appear at Pokey Oaks Kindergarten classroom; effeminate]'' Then let's see how good you are on the SAT's!
:''[Bubbles and Buttercup glare at Blossom]''
:'''Him''': Considering your educational level, you must collectively score 100 points. ''[demonic]'' '''You have one minute. Begin.'''
:''[Buttercup chews nervously on her pencil, Blossom breezes by it, Bubbles start to fill in the scan-tron in the shape of a flower]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Time's up! Put your #2 pencils down and pass your papers forward. Let's start with Buttercup's results, shall we?
:''[Ding]''
:'''Him''': 25.
:'''Blossom''': Haha!
:'''Him''': Next, Blossom's.
:''[Ding]''
:'''Him''': 10.
:'''Blossom''': What?!
:'''Buttercup''': Ha!
:'''Him''': And finally, Bubbles. 
:''[Holds up test]''
:'''Blossom''': Oh, no...
:'''Buttercup''': The Professor's a goner!
:''[Bubbles' score is 1075, much to everyone's surprise]''
:'''Blossom''': Huh?
:'''Buttercup''': Huh?
:'''Him''': Huh?
:'''Bubbles''': Ha!
:'''Him''': Well, I'll be darned. ''[demonic]'' '''You will not defeat me, you little brats! The Professor ''will'' pay!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the seventh riddle, a lizard monster appears in the city]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Let's see if you can defeat this monster.
:'''Blossom''': No problem.
:'''Him''': Ah-ah-ah. You didn't let me finish. You must get rid of this little guy without using your superpowers.
:'''Blossom''': Again, no problem.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the eighth riddle]''
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''NO!!! You brats shouldn't have gotten this far!'''
:'''Blossom''': One riddle left, Him, and the Professor is good as ours!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' We'll see, won't we? You will find your Professor when you solve this last rhyme: &quot;Where is boiling and freezing at the same time?&quot;. ''[Laughs]'' The Professor ''[demonic]'' '''''will'' pay!''' ''[effeminate]'' 30 seconds.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the final riddle, they confront Him at the Otto Time Restaurant, where the Professor is also at]''
:'''Blossom''': They're at the at the Otto Time Diner! ''[looks at the clock]'' And we're out of time! ''[The girls bust through the door]'' Okay, Him! Hand over the Professor!
:'''Professor''': Girls!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Too late, girls. You failed. ''[demonic]'' '''The Professor is going to pay!''' ''[laughs]''
:'''Professor''': No!
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': Professor...
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Time to pay.''' ''[suddenly rings up a cash register; effeminate]'' That'll be 7.95, please.
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': ''[stunned]'' Say wha...?!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' You see, I bet the Professor here a free breakfast if you girls could solve all my riddles. But you failed. ''[demonic]'' '''And now he has to pay full price!'''
:'''Professor''': Here's your money, Him. Your flapjacks are good, but not that good. I'm never eating here again! Come on, girls. Let's go eat at the other restaurant.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Wait! Wait, come back! I'll make my flapjacks cheaper!
:'''[The Powerpuff Girls stare at the camera, stunned and confused]''
:'''Narrator''': ''[just as confused]'' And so...hmm...ugh... yeah.

===Flim Flam [4.2]===

===All Chalked Up [4.3]===
:'''Bubbles''': Huh?...Hey! You erased my drawing!
:'''Mitch''': Um...sorry. ''[Buttercup now stands nearby]''
:'''Buttercup''': What are you apologizing for?! She shouldn’t draw her stupid pictures on the blacktop if she doesn’t want ’em played on!
:'''Bubbles''': I have every right that you do to be here!
:'''Buttercup''': Oh, yeah?! Well, I don’t—
:'''Bubbles''': I don’t care what you think!
:'''Buttercup''': A playground is for playing!
:'''Bubbles''': And drawing is playing, you ninny!
:''[They start to argue at full voice, and other kids turn to watch. Blossom does likewise]''
:'''Blossom''': Huh?
:'''Children''': Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
:''[As they chant, they gather in a ring around the two squabbling sisters. Blossom, floating behind the group, moves in for a closer look and then pushes her way to the front]''
:''[Blossom breaks up a fight between Bubbles and Buttercup over drawing over a playground]''
:'''Blossom''': All right, break it up, break it up! What's going on here?
:'''Bubbles''': Well, she started it!
:'''Buttercup''': She was the one drawing all over the place!
:''[Buttercup and Bubbles resume arguing with each other]''
:'''Blossom''': SHUT UP! ''[Bubbles and Buttercup stop arguing]'' Bubbles, you first.
:'''Bubbles''': Well, I was just minding my own business, drawing--
:'''Buttercup''': You see?
:'''Blossom''': Buttercup, let Bubbles finish!
:'''Mitch''': Just fight already!
:'''Bubbles''': Buttercup has to share the blacktop just like everyone else.
:'''Blossom''': That sounds fair to me.
:'''Buttercup''': ''[losing it]'' No way! I'm not sharing nothing! This is the playground! There's plenty of paper in the classroom! She doesn't need to fill the blacktop with her scribbles! You know what I think of Bubbles and her drawings?! YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?!! ''[Destroys Bubbles' chalk by crushing it]'' That's what I think.
:''[Bubbles looks down at the fragments and drops to her knees, her head bowed in sadness. A moment later, she lifts her face, now rearranged into an expression of raw anger. Cut to behind her as she slowly rises to her feet and Buttercup smirks at her. We hear her breathing hard, and in a close-up, she is sweating buckets and looking as if about to go over the edge once and for all. She snarls and reaches toward her sister as if to strike her, but the fury evaporates in an instant, unable to bring herself to do it. It is replaced by a desperate struggle to keep her composure, whimpering as her wobbling mouth and the tears leaking from her tightly closed eyes readily attest. After several seconds of unbearable tension, her self-control completely shatters and she explodes. The camera follows her as she flees the scene and heads into the woods, crying all the while. Overhead view of a tree stump in a small clearing. She flies in and collapses by it, face down on its surface, to cry herself out]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bubbles is exploring a magical, colorful world of chalk]''
:'''Bubbles''': Oh, I love each and every one of you! What is this magical place?
:''[A butterfly, with Him's face on it, appears; Bubbles doesn't recognize Him]''
:'''Him''': ''[speaking in a crossover between a squeaky voice and his effeminate voice]'' We've been waiting a long time for you, Bubbles.
:'''Bubbles''': You have?
:'''Him''': Oh, yes! We've been waiting for the perfect time to welcome you to our world!
:'''Bubbles''': How long have you been here?
:'''Him''': As long as you have had imagination. And as you can see, we have a present for you.
:''[He reveals a chalk box]''
:'''Bubbles''': The chalk!
:'''Him''': Yes, the chalk. And you can help us make our world even more beautiful!
:'''Bubbles''': Ah, shucks. I couldn't do that.
:'''Him''': Oh, yes, you can! Isn't that right, friends? All we need is your imagination!
:''[He makes himself and Bubbles appear in a blackboard]''
:'''Bubbles''': Where are we?
:'''Him''': The whole world is your canvas. And here, you can draw anything you want with your magical chalk! Try it.
:'''Bubbles''': But what do I draw?
:'''Him''': Draw anything you feel. Draw what makes you happy.
:'''Bubbles''': Hmm. What makes me happy? ''[She draws a flower on the board]'' There! How's that?
:'''Him''': Good! But now, watch. ''[The flower grows more large petals]'' Draw some more. More happy things!
:''[Bubbles draws on the board a bird's nest on a tree with a mother bird on the nest]''
:'''Bubbles''': There!
:'''Him''': Look! ''[The eggs hatch into baby birds]'' See what your imagination can do? Draw, draw! ''[Bubbles draws a beach with a sunset, seagulls and a school of fish]'' Well, what do you think?
:'''Bubbles''': I've never drawn prettier things! They light up my life!
:'''Him''': Well, there's more to it than just happy little drawings.
:'''Bubbles''': What do you mean?
:'''Him''': Artists draw all of their feelings.
:'''Bubbles''': Like a happy feeling.
:'''Him''': Well, not just happy feelings. Haven't you ever been frustrated, sad? How about angry?
:'''Bubbles''': No.
:'''Him''': No?
:'''Bubbles''': Never.
:'''Him''': Never?
:'''Bubbles''': No!
:'''Him''': No?
:'''Bubbles''': No, never!
:''[She suddenly realizes she's becoming angry and covers her mouth]''
:'''Him''': Aha! It's okay to be angry, and it's important to express it. Let's wipe the state clean. ''[The beach drawing disappears]'' Now, remember when Buttercup destroyed your chalk at the playground?
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah, that wasn't very fair.
:'''Him''': That's right! Now get your chalk. Let's draw that feeling.
:'''Bubbles''': What does it look like?
:'''Him''': Draw a big scribble. Hard and fast. More! More! Harder, faster! ''[Bubbles does as she has been told]'' How does that make you feel?
:'''Bubbles''': Better, I guess.
:'''Him''': Good! Now draw some more. Draw how Buttercup made you feel. Who is she to tell you what to do? Push her around? Feel your anger. ''[Bubbles, feeling her anger, draws monsters on the blackboard]'' Did you get all your anger out?
:'''Bubbles''': Yes! ''[Pants]'' I had no idea I could express myself like that.
:'''Him''': Neither did I.
:''[Him vanishes]'' 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[As the chalk monsters attack Pokey Oaks Kindergarten]''
:'''Blossom''': EVERYONE GET INSIDE!! ''[All the kids run into the classroom. A giant chalk turtle smashes the classroom's roof]'' EVERYONE GET OUTSIDE!!
:''[The kids run back outside]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[As the girls try to defeat the monsters by erasing them with erasers, but to no avail]''
:'''Bubbles''': He can't do that!
:''[Him, still in the form of a butterfly, appears; Bubbles still does not recognize Him]''
:'''Him''': ''[squeaky and effeminate voice]'' I think he can.
:'''Bubbles''': Oh! Thank goodness you're here! I drew all these monsters and they came to life. But now you're here and you can help.
:'''Him''': But why would I help you, when this whole thing was ''[instantly transforms into his normal form; demonic voice]'' '''MY idea?!'''
:'''Bubbles''': ''[Gasps]'' It was you! You made me do this!
:'''Him''': ''[putting his arm around Bubbles; effeminate]'' Au contaire. I just provided the chalk.
:'''Blossom''': You leave Bubbles alone!
:'''Him''': It was ''you'' who draw monsters! 
:'''Bubbles''': Get your claws off me!
:''[She releases himself from Him's grasp]''
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''That's good!''' ''[effeminate]'' Express that anger, just like before! Remember how good it felt?
:'''Bubbles''': Okay, I will!
:'''Blossom and Buttercup''': No, Bubbles, wait! ''[Bubbles uses her chalk and eraser to turn the chalk turtle into a happier turtle, much to Him's shock]'' Go, Bubbles!
:''[Bubbles then uses the chalk to turn all the other monsters into happy drawings. Him is enraged]''
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''No! No! NO!!'''
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': All right!
:'''Him''': '''You can't do that! You're supposed to express your anger!'''
:'''Bubbles''': I am. I'm just expressing it in a positive way. And I think you were more positive when you were a cute...little...butterfly! ''[Uses her chalk to draw on Him, turning him into a butterfly, embarrassing Him]'' What do you think?
:'''Blossom''': Oh, yes.
:'''Buttercup''': Much better.
:''[Him, humiliated and defeated, becomes enraged]''
:'''Him''': '''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!'''
:''[He vanishes, defeated]''

===Get Back, Jojo [4.4]===

===Members Only [4.5]===
:'''Mascumax''': Men of Earth! Witness the coming of... MASCUMAX! Breaker of men! Taker of worlds! Be there any true men amongst thee?! Step forth and bring thy manhood against mine own, so that we might see who has the upper hand upon the measuring stick!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mascumax has been defeating the male superheroes easily]''
:'''Mascumax''': Fools! I feed off your expulsions of manliness! The more manhood you bring against me, the harder I become!
:'''Blossom''': Hey, buff! Why don't you try some Powerpuff?
:'''Mascumax''': What? Little girls?! ''[laughs]'' Shouldn't you be home learning how to be mommies?!
:'''Buttercup''': Ugh, ''this'' stuff again?
:'''Blossom''': Look, this planet is our home, and mommies are ready to clean house!
:''[They land several successful blows on Mascumax and knock him down]''
:'''Blossom''': All right, ladies, let's do some ''real'' cookin'! Form Furious Flaming Feline!
:''[The girls form a cat-like shape made of fire, which leaps at Mascumax, setting him on fire, and rubs against his leg]''
:'''Mascumax''': AAAAAAAARGH!!! NOOOOOOO, IT CANNOT BEEEE!!!
:'''Blossom''': If you can't take the heat, then stay out of the kitchen!
:''[Mascumax chickens out, transforming back into hotrod mode and flying back into space]''
:'''Mascumax''': ''[sobbing]'' WAAAAAHAHAHAAA!!! MOMMY, THERE WAS SOME GIRLS, AND THEY WERE BEING MEAN TO ME!!!

===Nano to the North [4.6]===

===Stray Bullet [4.7]===
:''[The Powerpuff Girls induct their new member]''
:'''Blossom''' : May I have your attention, please!  Friends!  Family!  Esteemed colleagues!  We are gathered here today for a momentous occasion!  Bubbles, translate.
:'''Bubbles''': Oh yeah. Cheep cheep, cheep cheep. Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep.
:'''Blossom''': Today, for the first time ever . . .
:'''Bubbles''': Cheep, cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . we have discovered an individual . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . . cheep cheep, cheep cheep cheep cheep, cheep cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . whose bravery . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . . cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . strength . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . .cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . and agility . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . . cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . have proven her worthy to be a member of our exclusive organization . . .
:'''The Powerpuff Girls''': THE POWERPUFF GIRLS!
:'''Bubbles''': CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP! Hey, Professor! Clap!
:'''Professor Utonium''': Hm? Oh, uh, yay!
:'''Blossom''': And so, dubbed with the appropriate 'B' name . . .
:'''Bubbles''': Cheep cheep, cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Buttercup''': Bruce begins with a B!
:'''Blossom''': Shh! . . . I hereby dub thee . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . . cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . Powerpuff Bullet!
:'''Bubbles''': . . . Cheep cheep --- Cheep cheep!
:'''Professor Utonium''': Woo hoo, yeah! [hoots] Ha ha ha, yeah! [hoots]

===Forced Kin [4.8]===
:''[The invading robot has repeatedly outsmarted Mojo, defeated the Girls, and wrecked much of Townsville, including Mojo's volcano laboratory]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No! My laboratory, home to all my evil plans and devices... destroyed!
:'''Robot''': Earth creatures, the destruction of your dwelling area is now complete. I am now your new leader.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[shaking with shock and outrage]'' NOOOOOO! That is ''my'' line! ''I've'' always wanted to say that!
:'''Robot''': And you will now bow down to me. ''[Townsville's people are shown bowing]'' Yes, just like that.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No! No! '''NOOOO...!!!''' 
:''[Mojo's eyes pop and glow, and he goes completely berserk, prancing around, gibbering and shrieking like a wild chimpanzee as the robot watches]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[eyes glowing again]'' '''YOU!!! HAVE!!! BROKEN!!! MY!!! ''DREEEEAMS!!!'''''
:''[He leaps at the robot, delivering several powerful punches, finally knocking it down with a blow to the head with the loaf of bread from Miguel's Market. He then pulls its lower leg back, making it cry out in pain and pound the ground]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Say it! SAY IT! '''SAY IT!!!'''
:'''Robot''': ''YOU'' ARE THE MOST EVIL! ''[collapses again]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': And don't you forget it!

===Knock it Off [4.9]===
:'''Professor Utonium''': When were you in New York?
:'''Blossom''': Yesterday.
:'''Buttercup''': (&lt;i&gt;whispering&lt;/i&gt;) No, today.
:'''Blossom''': I mean... today.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': What happened to Professor Dick and the other Powerpuff Girls?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Well, Old Dick may have gotten the formula right, but the one ingredient that he forgot was &quot;love&quot;. Let's go home, girls.
:'''Professor Dick''': (&lt;i&gt;screaming while dying&lt;/i&gt;) '''NNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!'''

===Super Friends [4.10]===
:''[The girls introduce their new friend Robin to Professor Utonium]''
:'''Bubbles:''' He made us in his laboratory by accident.
:'''Professor:''' Yes, uh... well, it was sort of an accident...
:'''Robin:''' That's okay, Professor. I was an accident, too! ''(his eyes widen)'' Your dad is funny!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess:''' Hey girls, let me be a Powerpuff Girl for a day and you could ride in Daddy's limo with me to school!
:'''Blossom:''' No thanks, Princess. We'd rather walk with our new friend, Robin, to school.
:'''Princess:''' Very well then. You obviously don't know a thing about first class travel...... how 'bout 5 bucks?
:'''Blossom:''' ''[Resting her hands on her hips]'' Would that be 5 bucks to ride in your limo, or 5 bucks to be a Powerpuff Girl?

===Keen on Keane [4.11a]===

===Not So Awesome Blossom [4.11b]===
:[''During a battle between Blossom and one of Mojo's robots'']
:'''Blossom''': Okay! It's just you and me! Let's see what you got!
:[''She blows a raspberry at the robot'']
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''The Professor read's Mojo's note over the hotline'']
:'''Professor''': &quot;Bubbles, Buttercup or whichever of the two remaining Powerpuff Girls has answered the hotline, listen closely. Pay attention. Consentrate intently on the words coming from my mouth. I, the Professor, am being held prisoner. I am being kept against my will in a location not of my choosing. If you desire my safe return you must...&quot; Oh, excuse me. Could you please move you finger?
:'''Mojo''': Sorry.
:'''Professor''': Thank you. &quot;...come to the lair of Mojo Jojo together, not alone. Indepently...&quot;
:'''Buttercup''': I think we need to go to Mojo's and save the Professor.
:'''Bubbles''': Again?!

===Power-Noia [4.12]===
:''[Blossom is trapped in a dream world of Pokey Oaks Kindergarten with an evil version of Ms. Keane and the schoolchildren, trying to make Blossom fail to answer questions. Ms. Keane suddenly starts laughing in Him's voice, and she and the schoolchildren suddenly turn into small copies of Him. Blossom makes the connection and becomes determined to face her fear]''
:'''Blossom''': ENOUGH! ''[Him/Ms. Keane and the schoolchildren stop laughing]'' Next question.
:'''Him/Ms. Keane''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Sure, next question. ''[demonic voice]'' '''What is the square root of seven?!'''
:''[Him and the schoolchildren laugh]''
:'''Blossom''': Seven doesn't have a square root. It's prime! 
:''[Everyone stops laughing]''
:'''Him/Ms. Keane''': '''That is...''' ''[effeminate]'' correct. What is the algebric formula for determining the area of a triangle?
:'''Blossom''': Half the base times height!
:'''Him/Ms. Keane''': That's correct. If a train leaves Boston at 12:30pm traveling at 75 miles per hour, and another train leaves Los Angeles at the same time traveling at 90 miles per hour... ''[demonic]'' '''which one will get to Cuba first?'''
:'''Blossom''': Neither! Trains don't go to Cuba, &quot;Ms. Keane&quot;!
:'''Him/Ms. Keane''': ''[effeminate]'' Well, how perspective of you. Oh, well. ''[throws question cards away; demonic]'' '''Tests bore me. You think you're so smart, don't you?'''
:'''Blossom''': I outsmarted you, didn't I?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After overcoming their greatest fears, the Powerpuff Girls finally confront Him, in the form of a giant, multiple-headed, multiple-tenctacled crossover of a crab and spider]''  
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Oh, Blossom! You're always so logical! How droll! ''[giggles evilly]'' Here I am! Sorry it took me so long. I wanted to slip into something more...sinister! You have been such good fun, but now you're starting to bore me. And I'm afraid playtime is over! I ''[demonic]'' '''know your deepest, darkest fear.''' ''[effeminate]'' You are afraid ''[demonic]'' '''YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME!!'''
:'''Blossom''': Let's teach him a lesson!
:'''Buttercup''': Whatever! That guy's toast!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Two heads are better than one! 
:''[The girls and Him fight each other in a large fierce battle. Eventually, Him loses the battle, and is beaten up by the girls, turning him back into his normal form and size. The girls look at a scared Him, pleading for his life]'' 
:'''Him''': Please! No more! Don't hurt me! I don't understand. ''[demonic]'' '''I was so close!''' ''[effeminate]'' I almost had you! You are supposed to be afraid!
:'''Blossom''': Guess you should've done your homework, weirdo!
:'''Bubbles''': We're sisters and we love each other!
:'''Blossom''': And we're not afraid of anything as long as we have each other.
:'''Buttercup''': Gimme a break, you two! Yab-yab-yab! Can I toss this guy, already?
:''[Pause]''
:'''Blossom''': Oh, okay.
:'''Him''': No, wait! It's cool! It's cool! Everything's cool! ''[Buttercup, not listening to Him's pleading, punches Him in the face, causing Him to fall into a black hole of nothingness]'' NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

==Season 5==
===See Me, Feel Me, Gnomey [5.6]===
:'''Bossman''': ''[Singing]'' Townsville's goin' down! I'm gonna throw this paper on the ground!
:'''The Mayor''': ''[Singing]'' The babies can grow, and the little old folks, can walk real slooo-ho!
:'''Professor''': ''[Repeated line, singing]'' Do the people have to be freedom beef?
:'''The Gnome''': ''[The only unsung words in the entire episode, falling down to his demise]'' As I descend to the Earth, and I view the universe above me, I realize that life revolves, evolves, and dissolves, completely around the opposites. Therefore, I conclude that I cannot exist in my Utopian... ''[Closes his eyes]'' mind... ''[Hits the ground]''

==='Twas the Fight Before Christmas===
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Who would want a stupid old BB gun? 
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': ''[gasped]'' Princess!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Besides, you'll shoot your eye out. ''(cut to her)'' Since my daddy buys me anything I want, I only have one thing on my list for Santa: to be a Powerpuff Girl!
:'''Blossom:''' ''[to Princess]'' Don't hold your breath, Princess.
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' What? Why?!
:'''Bubbles''': Because Santa has his own list, and he checks it twice. It says who's naughty and who's nice.
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' So?
:'''Bubbles''': Duh! You're naughty!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[gasps]'' Nuh-uh!
:'''Blossom:''' Yeah-huh!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Nuh-uh!
:'''Buttercup:''' Yeah-huh!
:'''Princess Morbucks''': NUH-UH!!
:'''Bubbles''': YEAH-HUH!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Prove it!
:'''Blossom''': You bought the city and legalized crime!
:'''Buttercup''': You hired Mojo to try and destroy us!
:'''Bubbles''': You gave us a bomb for our birthday!
:'''Buttercup''': You teamed up with three felons and went on a crime spree!
:'''Bubbles''': You tricked our friend Robin into stealing! And then you tattled on her!
:'''Blossom''': You're a spoiled brat who's greedy and jealous! And you don't care who you step on to get what you want!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' And your point is?
:''[The Powerpuff Girls sit back down and sigh in frustration; then the bell rings]''
:'''Blossom''': The point, Princess, is that you better change your ways or all you're ever gonna get from Santa is a big, fat lump of coal in your stocking.
:''[Princess starts shaking angrily. But suddenly that sound of the Santa doll snaps her out of it. Pull back to show the toy walking slowly towards her; when it is within striking distance, she boots it hard enough to break it and send springs flying]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Spoiled?! Greedy?! Bratty?! Naughty?! NAAAAAUGHTYYYY?!?!? DRIVER! Do you know what those rotten old Powerpuffs said to me today?! They said I was naughty! Can you believe that?
:'''Driver:''' ''(coughs)'' Yes. ''[coughs]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Me?! Naughty?! I'm not naughty, am I?!
:'''Driver:''' Well, uh, I'll... oops! Seems my finger has slipped! ''[closes the window]'' Phew! That was close.
:''[The phone rings; the driver hesitates and slowly picks up the phone]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[on the phone]'' WELL?!? YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION!!
:'''Driver:''' KKKKKHHHH! You're-you're-you're breaking up! KKKKKHHH-KKKKKKKKHHHHH! I'm going through a-unnel! -Alk-late-
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[bangs on the window and sticks her head out]'' NO, WE'RE NOT!! I'M IN THE CAR, YOU TWIT!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Servant, tell me. Do you think that I'm naughty? ''[his eyes dart nervously about before her next word shakes the entire room]''  '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;WELL!?&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;'''''
:'''Servant''': ''[stammering]'' I think my...biscuits are burning. ''[dashes off]''
:''[Princess fumes and knocks her soup bowl aside]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Nanny!
:'''Nanny''': Yes? ''[forcing a smile]'' Sweetheart?
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Am I naughty?
:''[Tense pause]''
:'''Nanny''': Time for bed! Lights out. ''[runs off and The lights go out as the door to the hall slams. Princess glares after her for a moment]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Wait! I need another pillow! ''[pause; silence]'' Fine! I'll just go get it myself! ''[gets up from her bed to get another pillow and gets crushed by a bunch of coal]'' Naughty, huh? I'll show you who's naughty! ''[throws a piece of coal]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Well, this time, I am gonna be a Powerpuff Girl! ''[slams the door open]'' And I'm sure not gonna let some elf with a weight problem stop me! ''[gets into a cart driven by her driver]'' Ha! We'll show them! And I'll show those Powerpukes who's naughty and who's nice!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' So now every kid in the world gets coal! And I get what I've always deserved: ''[turning around; zoom in]'' To be a Powerpuff Girl!
:''[She fires lasers from her eyes; the girls bear the full brunt of this assault and drop like rocks, landing face first in the snow to cut three Powerpuff snow angels into it. They quickly emerge]''
:'''Buttercup''': This is so wrong! ''[Close-up of the other two]''
:'''Blossom''': How could Santa believe that Princess is nice?!
:'''Bubbles''': Excuse me?! How could Santa believe that I am naughty?! ''[Pan slightly to Buttercup]''
:'''Buttercup''': 'Cause you snooped on other people's presents!
:''[Bubbles gives her a hard sidelong glance of tranquil fury and takes a second or two to get herself under control]''
:'''Bubbles''': Look. I already told you, I only looked 'cause we didn't have any presents, so I wanted to see if any other kids had any presents.
:'''Blossom''': Enough chatter, girls. We better find Santa and fast.
:''[They start to take off into the night, but Princess blocks their exit]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Oh, no, you don't. ''[Zoom in slowly on her]'' I knew you conceited little ingrates wouldn't be able to accept the fact that Santa thinks you're naughty.
:''[On the end of this, cut to Blossom and Buttercup trading a suspicious look - they are starting to figure out the scam. Princess moves in a bit closer to the girls]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' But I'm not gonna let you brats ruin my Christmas.
:'''Buttercup''': ''[moving in on her]'' Forget it, Princess. We're so gonna tell Santa on you!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[sweetly, flying away a short distance]'' Not if I tell on you first.
:''[She leaves a yellow light trail behind her]''
:'''Bubbles''': We didn't do anything?
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Oh, yeah? ''[pitifully, hamming it up]'' &quot;Oh, Santa Claus, as the only nice child in the whole world, I felt it was my duty to warn you about the three naughty girls who were so angry you gave them coal...&quot; ''[Cut to them, bristling at this; she continues, offscreen]'' &quot;...that they're coming to destroy your workshop and ruin Christmas forever.&quot; ''[Back to her; she takes on the sweet tone again]'' Oh, Santa...
:''[She gives them her biggest and most vicious grin, drops to a rooftop, and bounces off it to head for the city proper, her laughter echoing in the air.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Santa Claus''': ''[angrily]'' Ho, ho, ho! ''[shift to frame all five]'' What's with all the crashing and the smashing, and the smashing and the crashing? Huh? I'm out delivering coal all night long, and I come home to the Smashing-and-Crashing Gang?!
:'''Bubbles''': But...
:'''Santa Claus''': Uh-uh! No buts! I ain't listenin' to no buts from some no-good naughty kids! And no no-good little naughty kids are gonna tell me what's what! 'Cause guess what? ANSWER ME!!!
:''[The four cringe at Santa's screaming]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[nervously]'' Uh...
:'''Santa Claus''': That's right! First time, first time it's ever happened. ''[walking to his computer]'' Every last little no-good, good-for-nothin' kid in the stinkin' world was naughty! ''[voice breaking]'' Naughty! Naughty! Naughty little kids the world over! ''[Princess Morbucks peeks in]'' Except for one. One nice sweet little girl.
:'''Buttercup''': You're wrong!
:'''Santa Claus''': ''[angrily]'' Oh, I am, huh?! ''[turning to them, holding printout]'' Well, I's gots the list, baby. Check it!
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Yeah! Check it! ''[kicks it over, sending a cascade of pages unfolding from the accordion stack toward the girls to bury them. They pop out, inspect different sections, and gasp at what they find: Remember, this is the &quot;nice&quot; list that was falsified]''
:'''Santa Claus''': Yeah! A million bazillion good-for-nothin's on this list! ''[holding up Post-It from his monitor]'' And one little itty bitty, perfect little angel over here.
:'''Princess Morbucks''': ''[sticking tongue out]'' Nyah! 
:'''Bubbles''': That's not right! Maybe you didn't check the list twice!
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah! Princess is the naughtiest kid ever!
:'''Blossom''': She must've snuck up here and switched the lists!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' NUH-UH!! Santa, don't listen to them! ''[points at the Powerpuff Girls]'' They're just jealous 'cause they got coal! ''[Powerpuff Girls stare at her angrily]'' They're jealous 'cause I'm nicer, I'm smarter, I'm prettier, and I'm better than them! So they wouldn't let me be a Powerpuff Girl! THAT MAKES THEM NAUGHTY!! ''[points at the girls]''
:'''Santa Claus:''' ''[remembering the girls]'' You mean ''the'' Powerpuff Girls? Not the same Powerpuff Girls who are always helping people and saving the day and being really good? I mean, REALLY good! ''[the Girls smile and nod]'' Yeah! Yeah! See, that explains all the flying and floating and stuff!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' '''AHEM!!''' ''(Santa turns around)'' '''BUT ''I'' SHOULD BE A POWERPUFF GIRL!!! ME! Not them! Me! MY DADDY SAYS I'M BETTER! MY DADDY SAYS I'M THE BEST! AND IF YOU'RE TOO MUCH OF A FATHEADED FATHEAD TO SEE THAT, I'LL TELL MY DADDY!''' ''[She flies into another room]'' '''AND HE'LL COME AND BUILD A PARKING LOT OUTTA THIS CHEAP.. LITTLE..''' ''[She kicks 2 toys]'' '''ARTS AND CRAFTS...''' ''[She throws another toy]'' '''POPSICLE STAND OF YOURS!!''' ''[She breaks another toy]'' '''GET IT?!''' ''[She flies up to Santa]'' '''SO YOU BETTER GIVE ME WHATEVER I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS, 'CAUSE MY DADDY SAYS I GET WHATEVER I WANT! WHENEVER I WANT IT! AND IF THAT MEANS ALL OF THOSE LOUSY, WORTHLESS, SECOND RATE BARGAIN BASEMENT BRATS OF THE WORLD DON'T GET ANYTHING FOR CHRISTMAS, THEN THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONNA HAVE TO BE!! 'CAUSE I AM BETTER THAN THEM!! AND IT SAYS SO RIGHT HERE!!''' ''[She grabs a note and puts it up to Santa's face]'' '''SO PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT, SANTA CLOD!!!'''
:''[There is a shockful silence for a few seconds; suddenly, Santa gets really angry]''
:'''Santa Claus:''' '''LIST SCHMIST!!! I DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' LIST TELLIN' ME WHO'S NAUGHTY AND WHO'S NICE!!''' ''[He grabs the note and starts tearing it up]'' '''YA KNOW WHY?! 'CAUSE I'M SANTA CLAUS!! CHECK IT! PRINCESS...''' ''[He grabs Princess by the ear]'' '''YOU HAVE GONE AND WORKED OFF MY LAST NERVE!'''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! ''[She starts rubbing her ear]''
:'''Santa Claus''': I have no other choice. You are so rotten, SO despicable, so naughty, I'm putting you on the... ''[points up at a really big and tall naughty list]'' '''PERMANENT NAUGHTY PLAQUE!!!''' BUM BUM BUMMMMMMMM!
:''[Princess gasps in unmitigated fear, knowing that justice is about to be served. Extreme close-up of Santa's lifted index finger and follow it slowly through the air as he brings it to his nose. He touches the tip; a flash of snowflakes, and Princess' name is now cut into the metal as well, signifiying her permanent naughty status for the rest of her life. She screams in horror at the sight; back to Santa, his arms folded in finality]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': '''AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! I'M TELLING MY DADDY!!!'''
:''[She takes off and smashes an exit for herself through the office wall. Visible only as a bright speck, she makes a beeline for the distant mountains. Santa and the girls move closer to the hole to watch her go. He turns to them, holds up his finger without a word, and touches it to his nose. Cut to the fleeing Princess who, in a flash, suddenly finds herself back in her street clothes. She soars along a few hundred yards more before realizing that she has been stripped of her powers, then loses her forward momentum and drops from sight with a sharp gasp. Screaming, she plummets toward the snowy expanse and plows deep into it. A second later, she slowly emerges from the hole, with snow covering her from head to toe, and forces her eyes open through the covering. Pull back into the office; she cannot be seen from this far away]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': '''NO FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIR!!!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Princess flies in front of Buttercup, who is shocked; Princess then slaps her]''
:'''Buttercup''': Ow! Quit it!
:''[Princess slaps her again]''
:'''Buttercup''': Ow! Quit it!
:''[Princess slaps her once again]''
:'''Buttercup''': Ow! Quit it!
:''[An annoyed Buttercup jumps on Princess' back and kicks her far away from herself]''
:'''Buttercup''': QUIT IIIIIIIIIT!!!!!
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Thanks, Einstein!
:''[Buttercup stares at Princess, but then Blossom and Bubbles grab her]''
:'''Blossom''': Good job, Buttercup.
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah, nice one.
:'''Buttercup''': Oh, shut up!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Now, if I were a big, fat, bearded oaf, where would I keep that stupid list?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks''': ''[Referring to Santa]'' Who does that blimp think he is denying ''me'' presents?! Ohh!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Buttercup''': ''[To Bubbles]'' I'm busy.
:'''Blossom''': Doing what?
:'''Buttercup''': Writing my wish list for Santa.
:'''Bubbles''': Are you crazy?! You're only giving him 2 days to prepare?! And that's even if he gets it on time!
:'''Buttercup''': Oh, yeah? When did you send yours, Smarty Pants?
:'''Bubbles''': December 26.
:'''Buttercup''': Ha! That's ''after'' Christmas!
:'''Bubbles''': December 26, last year!
:''[She blows Buttercup a raspberry]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Professor''':  Every year, it's the same darn thing! I can make three little kids out of seasoning, but I can't get these lights to work!

===The Boys are Back in Town [5.5]===
:'''Narrator:''': And their day, the girls even manage to humble... HIM.
:''[In his lair, Him is angrily watching the Powerpuff Girls on TV having saved the day once again]''
:'''Buttercup''': ''[On TV]'' Yeah, it was rough in the beginning, but I paced myself and just wore the monster down.
:'''Blossom''': ''[On TV]'' We were just glad to be of service. Good job, girls!
:'''Him''': ''[mocking Blossom; effeminate voice]'' &quot;We were just glad to be of service. Good job, girls!&quot; ''[demonic voice]'' '''Blah! Blast the Powerpuff brats! They disgust me! So ''effortless!'' They seem to be unbeatable.''' ''[effeminate]'' All these years, and all the villains have produced nothing. So much time, such little results. ''[demonic]'' '''There ''must'' be a way. There must be someone who can knock those brats down to size!''' ''[groans and sits down on his chair; effeminate]'' Oh, boy. ''[suddenly sees something on the TV and slowly smiles; demonic]'' '''Oh, ''boy''...'''  

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Rowdyruff Boys have been resurrected (complete with meaner-looking hairstyles)]''
:'''Blossom''': The Rowdyruff Boys?!
:'''Buttercup''': But that's impossible!!
:'''Bubbles''': We blew you guys up!
:'''Brick''': ''[Smirking]'' Yeah? Well, you can't stop a good thing, babe!
:''[The Girls suddenly start to snicker]''
:'''Brick''': Stop laughing! What are you laughing at?!
:'''Blossom''': ''[Mocking; her hands are on her hips]'' Ooooh(!) Look who's back with mean hair(!)
:'''Bubbles''': ''[Mocking]'' Oh, whatever shall we do?
:'''Buttercup''': ''[Mocking]'' How can we defeat their scary new hairdos?
:''[Boomer naively inspects his hair, while Butch twitches, eager to fight. The Girls continue to laugh, and Brick gets more and more irritated until he finally snaps.]''
:'''Brick''': '''''SILEEEEEEEEEEENCE!!!!!''''' ''[the Girls stop]'' You stupid, wimpy, lame-o girls ''talk'' too much!
:'''Blossom''': &quot;STUPID&quot;?!
:'''Buttercup''': &quot;WIMPY&quot;?!
:'''Bubbles''': &quot;LAME-O&quot;?!
:'''Brick''': You girls just got lucky last time. This time, there's no way you're gonna beat my boys!
:'''Butch''': Butch!
:'''Boomer''': Boomer!
:'''Brick''': And me, Brick!
:''[Boomer sees a fly buzzing over his head, and playfully swats at it]''
:'''Brick''': ''[annoyed]'' Pay attention!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[giggling]'' Are you guys sure you're ready for another beating?
:'''Boomer''': ''[trying to sound tough]'' You girls are gonna eat your words, spit 'em out, and eat 'em again!
:'''Blossom''': ... That doesn't even make sense.
:'''Boomer''': I know you are, but what am I?!
:'''Buttercup''': Enough! Talk is cheap! Let's do this!
:'''Butch''': ''[snickers dementedly]'' This is gonna be fun!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Blossom''': All right, girls. I think we know what we have to do. Let's give 'em some sugar!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[eagerly]'' Ooh, ooh, I want the blonde! I think he's cute!
:'''Buttercup''': ''Man'', you're weird!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Brick''': Your [[w:cooties|cootie]]-kisses only make us bigger!
:'''Boomer''': Stronger!
:'''Butch''': And tougher!
:'''Brick''': ''[laughs]'' You stupid lame-o girls never learn. Now it's time to put these babies to bed!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Him interrupts the fight between the Powerpuff Girls and Rowdyruff Boys]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Hello, girls!
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': ''[gasp]'' Him!
:'''Him''': So nice to see you again! How's things? Not so good? Having a little boy trouble, hmm? Or should I say... ''[demonic]'' '''BIG boy trouble?!'''
:''[The Boys - now huge after being kissed by the Girls several times - land behind Him]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Hello, Boys. ''[demonic]'' '''You're doing just fine.''' ''[to the Girls, effeminate]'' So, how does it feel, Girls, to know defeat is just around the corner... ''[demonic]'' '''and victory for me is at hand?!'''
:'''Blossom''': So ''you're'' behind this, Him! What did you do to make our kisses powerless?!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Oh, that. That's my little secret. You see, I realized that the Boys' only weakness ''[demonic]'' '''was your pathetic little kisses. And since I''' ''[effeminate]'' knew you would resort to that, I added a little something extra: a cootie vaccination! &quot;[[w:Circle Circle Dot Dot|Circle, Circle, Dot, Dot; now you have a cootie shot!]]&quot; ''[laughs]'' I got the spell off the Internet. But your kisses aren't totally useless, girls. ''[demonic]'' '''They make my boys bigger and more powerful!''' ''[laughs; effeminate]'' At last, I win! Have fun, girls! Ta-ta!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Brick''': You calling us STUPID?!
:'''Boomer''': We'll show you stupid! ''[Boomer crosses his arms and smiles proudly. Brick slaps him]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[After the Powerpuff Girls finally defeat the Rowdyruff Boys by shrinking them down to size, Him comes back, angry]''
:'''Him:''' ''[demonic]'' '''CAN'T YOU LITTLE BRATS DO ''ANYTHING'' RIGHT?! I SENT YOU TO DESTROY THEM, AND WHAT DO YOU DO?!''' ''[effeminate]'' You get all ''sissified''! 
:''[With a wave of his claw, he makes the Boys vanish. The Girls smile in triumph]''
:'''Him''': Oh, don't look so smug, girls. Though you may have won this time, ''[Aku voice]'' '''it was a lucky victory and you know it!''' ''[effeminate]'' In time, you ''[Aku voice]'' '''will''' ''[effeminate]'' fall, and we ''[Aku voice]'' '''will''' ''[effeminate]'' defeat you! So keep on your toes, stay alert, ''[Aku voice]'' '''and watch your back... because the boys are back in town!''' ''[vanishes in a spiral of smoke, laughing]''
:'''Blossom''': Oh, boy...
:'''Narrator''': &quot;Oh, boy&quot; is right! It seems the battle of the sexes has begun! Let's just hope the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!

===Bubble Boy [5.9b]===
:'''Brick''': ''[he and his brothers drank 3 cans of soda]'' Man, beating up people for fun is really fun!
:'''Boomer''': Yeah! Beating up people for fun is really fun! ''[Brick throws a can in Boomer's face]'' Ow!
:'''Brick''': Dude! That's the dumbest thing you said all DAY!
:'''Boomer''': Well you said the same thing!
:'''Brick''': Yeah, but it sounds COOL coming out of my mouth!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Boomer''': I don't care what they say; I'm ''not'' as dumb as I look.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': What are we going to do?
:''[Bubbles is now dressed as Boomer]''
:'''Bubbles''': Well, how do I look?
:'''Boomer''': ''[Boomer is now in his underwear]'' Boy, do you look dumb!
:'''Blossom''': Need we say more?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom''': Gee, Professor, you sure outdid yourself with that containment ray.
:'''Professor''': I'll say! Once again, I have no idea what I did!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': ''[as Boomer]'' Uh, hi! It's me, Boomer, your brother!
:'''Brick''': We ''know'' you're our brother. We're not as stupid as you!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Brick''': I know, let's punch each other in the face until someone says, “Hey, stop punching me in the face.” You first, Boomer. ''[punches Bubbles, who is posing as Boomer.]''
:''[Brick and Butch laugh; Bubbles gets teary-eyed]''
:'''Buttercup''': Don't cry, Bubbles. You'll give yourself away.
:'''Bubbles''': Heh, funny. Okay, my turn.
:'''Brick''': Nah, I'm sick of that game.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Bubbles sprays &quot;Flowers are pretty... dumb!&quot; on a wall]''
:'''Butch''': For a second there, I thought you were turning girly on us.
:'''Brick''': Yeah! And &quot;dum-buh&quot;?  Geez, Boomer, if you're gonna do graffiti, at least spell the words right!  Sheesh, talk about &quot;dum-buh&quot;.
:'''Butch''': Yeah! What a &quot;dum-bee&quot;!
:''[Brick &amp; Butch laugh]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Brick''':Hey, I thought you loved cock-a-roaches. Don't you looove cock-a-roaches?
:'''Bubbles''': ''[forcing a smile]'' Well..sure. Sure I do. I love those little guys.
:'''Brick''': Hey, I believe you. That's why you have no problem... EATING IT!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Professor''': ''[after Bubbles captures the Rowdyruff Boys on her own]'' Bubbles! I could hardly contain myself hiding in the closet.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Professor''': ''[after Bubbles apologizes]'' That's alright, Bubbles. I'm sorry you had to eat a cockroach!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[who is still posing as Boomer]'' That's okay, it tasted like CHICKEN!

===The City of Clipsville [5.8b]===
:'''Blossom''': Come on, girls. It's from the time that the Professor accidentally turned us into babies.
:''(During this line, WD to the exterior of the house at night; when the transition occurs, the rest of her words are heard as a voice over. The scene is very peaceful—until a huge explosion erupts from the ground and hides the entire structure. When the smoke clears, we see the Professor in the lab. He is covered with soot and holding a beaker of liquid, and both he and the area are in a state of total disarray. Close-up of his face)''
:'''Professor''': ''(reassuringly)'' Oh, don't worry about the noise, girls. I've just invented a potion that will keep you young foreve— (cuts himself off on this last word upon looking down toward the floor. Cut to his feet, where the girls have undergone a dramatic transformation: they are now infants in diapers, and his mixture worked a bit too well. Safety pins in the respective colors of Bubbles and Buttercup can be seen fastening those two girls' diapers, but the camera angle obscures the one on Blossom’s. She wears her bow but no ponytail, and she is bawling at the top of her lungs sports a single tuft of blond hair at the top of her head and sucks on a pacifier. Buttercup has only a bit of straight black hair and shakes a rattle discontentedly. A flash of white, and we are back to the present)''
:'''Bubbles''': ''(laughing)'' Oh, yes, now I remember.
:''(Flash to this same bit of history. Close-up of the Professor's upper body as he lifts baby Blossom partially into view; she is still crying)''
:'''Professor''': There, there, now. Just let it all out. ''(a pronounced squelching sound is heard, and she sighs with relief and smiles, losing steam)'' There, doesn't that…feel...ugh...better? ''(turn down a bit to show Blossom’s diaper, which she has filled so much that it hangs down almost to his waist. The sound just heard needs no explanation. Close-up of his head and shoulders; he lifts her into view and starts patting her back to burp her. Now her hair can be seen—short, red-orange, with a puff in back that marks the start of a ponytail)'' Oh, aren't you just a little angel? ''(she coos happily and spits up; he grimaces at the sound of it. WD to the present. Blossom has put the bottle away)''
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah. And remember how the Professor turned everyone into babies?
:''(WD to a close-up of an exhausted Professor, out in the city, and pull back. Throngs of squalling infants are heard from o.c. initially, and the source of the din is revealed to be exactly that. He holds several babies, including a top-hatted one that can only be the Mayor and another, with curly red-orange hair, who must be Ms. Bellum. Around him are enough newborns to populate the entire city. WD to the present)''
:'''Blossom''': And remember when we lost our superpowers?
:''(WD to Mojo, laughing from the hatch of a helicopter. In his hand is a briefcase labeled &quot;TOP SECRET GOVERNMENT STUFF.&quot; He hoists himself into the pilot’s seat; pull back to show him lifting off from the roof of a building—the Top Secret Government Headquarters. The girls run out of an access door on the roof and look up after him; close-up of them)''
:'''Blossom''': Let's get him!
:''(They run o.c. toward the edge. Pan in that direction to show nothing but Blossom's bow spinning in midair, as three terrified screams echo and fade away. They have jumped off the roof and gone into free fall instead of taking flight; the bow follows them down. WD to the present)''
:'''Blossom''': ''(smiling)'' Yeah. That got messy.
:'''Buttercup''': Hey! Remember when we sped up time and became teenagers— ''(she picks up a small item and opens it, revealing it to be a makeup compact. Zoom in on her)'' —and wore makeup and gave up crime-fighting and hung out at the mall and stuff?
:''(During the end of this line, there is a WD to the exterior of the Townsville Mall. The rest of Buttercup’s words are a voice over after this point. Zoom in on the entrance and dissolve to a point near the high, glass-domed ceiling. Turn down to the sound of music on the PA system and the mingled voices of the customers. In the background, two girls have their backs to the camera and are leaning over a railing to look down at the lower floors. The fact that neither girl has any visible fingers gives them away as teenaged versions of Blossom and Bubbles. When they speak, they sound like Valley Girls)''
:'''Teen Bubbles''': Oh, my gosh! Check it out. (turning toward Teen Blossom; she wears makeup) She is, like, so wrong in those pants. ''(blows a bubble from a wad of gum)''
:'''Teen Blossom''': Like, yeah, girlfriend. ''(her cell phone goes off, playing the show's main theme as its ring tone, and answers it)'' Hello? Oh, my gosh. We were just talking about you! Where are you?
:'''Teen Buttercup''': Over here.
:'''Teen Blossom''': Oh...hey. So you going to Todd's tonight?
:'''Teen Buttercup''': I don’t know. I gotta get on the treadmill. I just majorly pigged out on a donut. ''(sighs)'' If they only had, like, candy-flavored salad or something. ''(her eyes go wide as she lowers her phone. Flash to the present; all three girls are a bit uneasy at this memory. Buttercup has put the compact away)''
:'''Buttercup''': And then we discovered boys.
:''(Flash to the two teens on their phones. Teen Buttercup hunches over hers)''
:'''Teen Buttercup''': ''(hushed)'' Blossom! Look!
:''(They lower the phone and gaze raptly toward the camera for a long moment. Cut to their perspective: a patch of floor, with three long shadows cast on it from a distance in front. Turn up slowly to their source—the Rowdyruff Boys as teens)''
:'''Teen Bch''': ''(reading a magazine)'' Wow.
:'''Teen Bubbles''': ''(on her phone)'' Tell me about it. Like, that's what I said. Hang on a sec—
:'''Teen Blossom''': ''(nudging her)'' Bubbles, quick! Look!
:''(Teen Bubbles turns her head; close-up of her as she drops the phone and her eyes pop. Cut to Teen Boomer, who is drinking a soda. He drains it, sighs contentedly, and directs a come-hither look at the camera. All three girls are positively smitten)''
:'''Teen Bubbles''': ''(hushed)'' Oh, we shouldn't talk to them. They're bad.
:'''Teen Blossom and Teen Buttercup''': ''(smiling wickedly)'' I know.
:''(Cut to Teens Bubbles and Boomer together. The lower portion of the glass dome is in the background)''
:'''Teen Boomer''': So...wassup?
:'''Teen Bubbles''': Oh, um...you know...hangin' out. ''(two patrons scream; she laughs)'' What's up with you? 
:''(The monster lashes outs its tongue, smashing through the dome, and snaps someone up. The teens do not notice as it swallows)''
:'''Teen Boomer''': You know...hangin' out. ''(the monster sinks out of sight)''
:'''Teen Bubbles''': ''(laughing)'' For sure.
:''(Back to her sisters; their counterparts sidle up to them)''
:'''Teen Butch''': So wassup, ladies?
:'''Teen Brick''': You goin' to Todd's tonight?
:''(Behind them, a couple of gun-toting robbers run to the entrance of a jewelry store and stop briefly. One of them directs a hand signal o.c. behind himself. The teens pay no heed)''
:'''Teen Blossom''': Um...I have to study for an algebra test. ''(the robbers enter)'' For my English class. ''(several others follow)'' What are you doing?
:''(The sound and flash of automatic weapons fire emanate from the store)''
:'''Teen Brick''': Uh...going to Todd's.
:'''Teen Blossom''': ''(laughing)'' Oh! ''(explosion, alarm, and the robbers run out with the loot)'' What a coincidence.
:''(He seems a bit annoyed at her clueless response. Cut to Teens Bch and Bcup. Behind them, a man fiddles with an ATM)''
:'''Teen Buttercup''': So what are you driving now? ''(the man runs o.c.; the machine starts to beep)''
:'''Teen Butch''': Oh, I'm rockin' a new Escalade. ''(sparks fly)'' Wanna take a ride?
:'''Teen Buttercup''': Uh, that's okay. ''(the ATM explodes)'' We rode the one up from the first level.
:''(Teen Butch is nonplussed; the man and a partner run through the smoking hole in the wall)''
:'''Teen Butch''': Yeah, I just put an MP3 player in it.
:'''Teen Buttercup''': Oh, cool! I love that game.
:''(He is caught off guard by this non sequitur. Behind the two, the smoke clears and the men emerge, fleeing with a wagonload of cash. Cut to the exterior of the mall and pull back slowly, as explosions ravage the surrounding buildings)''
:'''Teen Buttercup''': ''(from inside)'' How about you, Blossom? Wanna take a ride on Butch's escalator?
:'''Teen Blossom''': ''(from inside)'' Sure. What floor?
:''(A flying saucer pulls into view and starts shooting at the skyline, and a large red beast, with lobster claws in place of hands, roars as it stomps into view. WD to the present)''
:'''Buttercup''': Boy, were we dumb.
:'''Blossom''': Yeah. Let's remember something else.

===Toast of the Town [5.2a]===
:'''Mayor of Townsville''': Mayor want toast! Mayor want toast!
:'''Professor Utonium''': Look I'm a scientist not a mechanic, what you need to do is take your toaster to the manufacturer and have a certified mechanic fix it.
:''[Mayor starts to get mad]''
:'''Mayor of Townsville''': MAYOR WANT TOAST! MAYOR WANT TOAST!
:'''Professor Utonium''': ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I'll have a look at your toaster. But the I've got to get back to my experiments.
:'''Mayor''': Oh, goody, goody! ''[starts to jump up and down] Is it done yet?
:'''Professor''': No.
:'''Mayor''': How about now?
:'''Professor''': No
:'''Mayor''': Now?
:'''Professor''': No.
:'''Mayor''': Now it's done right?
:'''Professor''': No, no, no, it's not done. Look, I don't really know what I'm doing,so it's gonna take a while.Why don't you just wait over there,and I'll let you know when I'm finished.
:'''Mayor''': Oh...OK.
:'''Professor''': And don't touch anything!
:'''Mayor''': ''[peeps over the table]'' Ooh...What does this button do? ''[presses the button, which starts an alarm. Then there's a rumble. He walks over to where the professor is and there was an explosion. The blast pushed the Mayor and the Professor in his chair away]'' Whee! Do it Again! Do it again!
:'''Professor''': Oh, no. You're gonna sit right here, be a good little Mayor, and stay put while I work on your toaster. And if you're quiet, you can have some candy. Good boy. ''[puts the mayor in a highchair, and gives him a jar full candy. Then he starts rattling in the jar]
:'''Mayor''': Say, these are all lemon! Somebody ate all the Goody cherry candies! ''[throws jar on the ground]'' Mayor want cherry! Mayor want cherry!
:'''Professor''': ''[runs to him with an industrial size bag cherry candies]'' Here, cherry. ''[gives him the bag]''  Now please, let me work in peace. ''[walks away]''
:'''Mayor''': Oh, goody! Oops. Uh-oh. ''[runs under the table and crawls under to get the candy]'' Ooh! Another shiny button! ''[presses the button and the lab begins to shake]'' Help! ''[the lab stops shaking]'' Huh? ''[Chemical X is changed]'' Ooh!
:'''Professor''': ''[working on the mayor's toaster and removes his shades]'' Mayor? He's being too quiet. ''[sneaks inside]'' Mayor? What are you ''[alarmed]'' DOING?!
:'''Mayor''': ''[humming, puts the chemical x on his head]'' Mayor want hair.
:'''Professor''': No! Mayor, stop!
:'''Mayor''': Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Mayor gotta hair! Mayor gotta hair! Yummy 'X' powder made Mayor's hair grow! ''[looks around]'' Professor. Professor?
:'''Professor''': Your hair wasn't the only thing that grew, Mr. Mayor.
:'''Mayor''': ''[looks down]'' Wowie zowie. 
:'''Professor''': Wowie zowie, indeed. Have you no shame? A grown man your age gallivanting around like a little child, not doing what you're told! &quot;Mayor wanna this. Mayor wanna that.&quot; You, Mr. Mayor, are nothing but a baby, a big, big, big baby.
:'''Mayor''': ''[crying like a baby]'' Wah! Don't say that! Wah! ''[runs off]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom''': Professor! What's going on?
:'''Professor''': Oh, it's the mayor, girls. He got into my chemical X so I scolded him, and now he's run off pouting.

==Season 6==
===Custody Battle [6.7a]===
:''[Mojo sees the Rowdyruff Boys for the first time since they've been revived]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The Rowdyruff Boys?! This is not possible! How is it that something that was destroyed can exist again?! I demand an explanation as to how something that was destroyed can exist again!
:''[The Boys exchange looks.]''
:'''Brick''': Duh! Nice hat, dorko!
:''[The Boys laugh and high five each other.]''
:'''Mojo''': How dare you talk to your father that way?! 
:'''Rowdyruff Boys''': Father?!
:''[They laugh even harder, until Him suddenly appears behind the boys]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Yes, it seems that the boys have a new father now! 
:'''Mojo''': What?!
:'''Him''': ''I'' brought the boys back, so ''I'' am their father now!
:'''Mojo''': Incorrect! The Rowdyruff Boys were ''my'' idea, which means ''I'' was the original creator! Yes, it was I who originally created them, which means it was ''I'' whose creativity led to the origin of the idea which resulted in the creation of them! Therefore, the idea originated before the actual creating began, resulting in total origination of all creativity!
:'''Brick''': ''[Scratching his head mockingly]'' Yeah... I didn't get that the first time. Can you repeat that?
:''[The Boys laugh and high five each other again. Him laughs along with them]''
:'''Him''': I'm sorry, Mojo. But your creation was destroyed by the Powerpuff Girls. ''[demonic]'' '''And would probably still be destroyed''' ''[effeminate]'' if ''I'' didn't revive them! Besides, seeing how ''I'' made them better, they should ''[demonic]'' '''remain mine!'''
:'''Mojo''': Better?! How can you make Mojo Jojo's design of the Rowdyruff Boys any better?!
:''[Him laughs]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' By making them immune to the Powerpuff's girly kisses! Now they ''can't'' be destroyed by the mere talk of cooties! ''[demonic]'' '''So why don't you run along, chimp-chump?!'''
:''[Mojo loses his temper]''
:'''Mojo''': Those boys were created to do pure evil, which makes ''me'' the more fit father, since I ''am'' pure evil!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Oh, I'm sorry! But nobody does evil ''[demonic]'' '''THE WAY I DO!'''
:'''Mojo''': That is not so!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Is so!
:'''Mojo''': Is not so!
:'''Him''': Is so!
:'''Mojo''': Is not!
:'''Him''': Is so!
:'''Mojo''': Is not!
:'''Him''': Is so!
:'''Mojo''': Is not!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Is so!'''
:'''Mojo''': Is not!
:'''Him''': '''IS SO!'''
:'''Mojo''': Very well, then! Since you will not acknowledge that I, Mojo Jojo, the original creator of the Rowdyruff Boys, who were originally created by ''me'', and the more evil father, you leave me no alternative but to ''prove'' that ''I'' am the more evil father, therefore making ''me'' the better parent!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Fine, then! ''[demonic]'' '''And ''I'' will prove that ''I'' am the evilest parent!'''
:'''Mojo''': Very well, then!
:'''Both''': ''[Him; effeminate]'' Let the evil begin!   
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' Behold! The TRCP-800.
:'''Boomer:''' You mean &quot;Totally Rad City Pulverizer&quot;?
: ''[Mojo gives him an exasperated look.]''
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' No, dum-dum.
:''[Brick hits Boomer.]''
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' &quot;The Remote-Control Pickle&quot;!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Brick:''' You mean &quot;we can blow things up and stuff? 
:'''Mojo:''' Mmm-hmm.
:'''Brick:''' Anything?
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' Anything.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Him prepares to blow up the sun, destroying the Earth in the process]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Splendidly evil, ''[demonic]'' '''isn't it?'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Evil?! How about STUPID?! Yes, thanks to your foolishness, we will be reduced to nothing! Nothing! Like the amount of intelligence inside your head! Nothing! Like the amount of respect I get after ''6 SEASONS ON THIS SHOW''!!! 
:''[Him turns the sun back to normal]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No, you are ''not'' the more evil parent! You are the more STUPID parent, which makes you unfit to be the father of these boys!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Is not so!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Is so!
:'''Him''': Not so!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Is so!
:'''Him''': Not so!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Is so!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Not so!'''
:'''Rowdyruff Boys''': SHUT UP!!!
:'''Brick''': We don't care which one of you is more eviler, or more stupider, or whateverer! There's only one evil thing we care about, and that's destroying the Powerpuff Girls!
:'''Rowdyruff Boys''': ''[give a group high five]'' Yeah!
:'''Brick''': Let's go!
:''[The boys fly to Townsville. Mojo and Him begin to cry with joy]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': My... that's the evilest thing I can imagine.
:'''Him''': ''[sniffs; effeminate]'' All you can do is raise them the best you know how, and hope they turn out right.
:'''Mojo Jojo and Him''': ''[to each other in unison]'' I'm so proud of them!
:''[The two villains put an arm around each other]''
:'''Narrator''': And so, with Mojo and Him finally happy together, the day is doomed, thanks to... the Rowdyruff Boys.

===Simian Says [6.9b]===
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''[after kidnapping the Narrator and taking his place]'' The city of Townsville. A city that, while being a city, is for some inexplicable reason called &quot;Town.&quot; And not only is it called a &quot;Town,&quot; but also a &quot;Ville,&quot; thus making it a city, town, and village, which seems to me to be redundant and repetitive, which can be quite annoying if you ask me, which you have no choice but to do, for now I, Mojo Jojo, am in charge of... the city of Townsville!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Buttercup:''' In the stomach or in the face?
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' How about a third type of opinion?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom:''' Something feels not right.
:'''Bubbles''': We beat up Mojo...
:'''Buttercup''': And saved the day...
:'''Blossom''': But, what? ''[They think for a moment]''
: ''[The sound of muffled cries is heard.]''
:'''Bubbles''': Hey, girls! Look!
:''[He points to a door and Blossom opens it. She then pulls off a piece of tape from the mouth of someone out of the scene.]''
:'''Narrator:''' OW! Oh, girls, thank goodness it's you! I can finally end this nightmare! So once again the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!
:'''Buttercup:''' I knew something was missing!
:'''Blossom:''' Goodnight, folks!
:''[Long pause as the girls simply float on the ending titles screen.]''
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[Impatiently]'' Now what?
:'''Narrator:''' Er... could I have a ride home?
:'''BBs:''' Of course!

===Nuthin' Special [6.14a]===
:'''Buttercup:''' Huh! Forget it! I ain't got no special skills! I ain't special!
:'''Blossom:''' Aww. Buttercup, you may not have a special power.
:'''Bubbles''': But you're still special.
:'''Buttercup:''' But-- ''[Turns around]'' But-- but nothin'! I thought I had a special power, but I don't! I THOUGHT I WAS SPECIAL, BUT I'M NOT!! SO THERE!!
:''[Buttercup sticks her tongue out at her sisters and curls it; and Blossom look shocked]''
:'''Bubbles''': What did you just do?!
:'''Buttercup:''' What?! Stick my tongue out?! You wanna see that again so you can copy that too?! Well, here!
:''[She sticks her tongue out again and once again curls it]''
:'''Blossom:''' You can...
:'''Bubbles''': Curl your tongue?
:'''Buttercup:''' Yeah, so? What's the big deal? I've always been able to do that. See?
:''[She once again sticks her tongue out and curls it again]''

===Octi-Gone [6.15b]===
:''[last lines of the series]''
:''[Everyone, including Bubbles, Blossom, and Buttercup angrily wait outside the bathroom door, waiting for Mojo.]''
:'''Bubbles:''' ''MOJO!!!'' You get out of there right now! You're nothing but a big party crasher!
:'''Narrator:''' And so once again, the day is saved. Thanks to The Powerpuff Girls and the contaminated cream pie.

=== ''The Powerpuff Girls Movie'' ===
See ''[[The Powerpuff Girls Movie]]'' for quotes on the entire movie

==Recurring Quotes==
:'''Narrator:''' ''[Title Sequence Narration]'' Sugar... spice... and everything nice. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little girls. But Professor Utonium accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction...Chemical X!-- Thus the Powerpuff Girls were born! Using their ultra-superpowers, Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup have dedicated their lives to fighting crime and the forces of evil!

==Voice Cast==
* Blossom - [[w:Cathy Cavadini|Cathy Cavadini]]
* Bubbles - [[w:Tara Strong|Tara Strong]]
* Buttercup - [[w:Elizabeth Daily|Elizabeth Daily]]

==See also==
* ''[[The Powerpuff Girls (2016 TV series)|The Powerpuff Girls]] (2016)''

{{wikipedia}}

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[[Category:The Powerpuff Girls]]
[[Category:1990s American animated TV shows]]
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[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
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[[Category:Superhero comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about families]]
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[[Category:Animated TV shows about sisters]]</text>
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'''''[[w:The Powerpuff Girls|The Powerpuff Girls]]''''' is an American animated show created by Craig McCracken.  It follows the adventures of Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup, three little girls literally created from sugar, spice and everything nice. Their creator and father, Professor Utonium, adds Chemical X by mistake, giving the girls superpowers. They use their gifts to save the city of Townsville.

== Season 1 ==
8 Episodes by October 18, 1998 - January 1, 1999

=== Episode 1A.Monkey See, Doggy Do ===
:'''Blossom''': Gee, I sure hope we can find a trail.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After changing everyone in Townsville into dogs with the Anubis Head]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': All right, you flea-bitten curs! Heel! I, Mojo Jojo, am your master, and you shall obey my commands like the dogs you are! Because I am your master, it is I who you will obey! Obeying commands is what you will do! I will give you commands, and you will obey them!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom''': Not so fast...
:'''Buttercup''': Mojo...
:'''Bubbles''': Jojo!
:''[The Girls are changed into dogs]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Too late, Powerpuffs! Or should I say, &quot;Power-pups&quot;?

===Episode 1B.Mommy Fearest===
:'''Ima Goodlady''': I thought I grounded you, brats! I'm getting the professor!
:'''Blossom''': We're afraid not, Ima. He's conveniently stepped out.
:'''Buttercup''': And we know you're not such a good lady at all.
:'''Bubbles''': What's in the bag, Sedusa?!? ''(pulls out the wig, revealing that Ima is Sedusa in disguise)''
:'''Narrator''': SEDUSA?!? Who woulda guessed it?
:'''Sedusa''': ''(as Bubbles tries to grab the bag)'' Let go!
:''(The bag opens to reveal the mayor's jewels)''
:'''Bubbles''': Well, What do you know? The mayor's jewels. Nice try, Sedusa, But the game's over!
:'''Sedusa''': ''(in her evil tone)'' HA! Never! ''(in sweet tone)'' I'll just sweet talk that sap with the professor. He'll believe in me ''(in her evil tone)'' AND YOU THREE BUG-EYED CREEPS WILL BE GROUNDED FOREVER! ''(laughs evilly)''
:'''Bubbles''': ''(angrily)'' GROUND THIS!!!
:''(The girls attacked Sedusa)''
:'''Professor''': Oh Girls, I am back from the the stooooOOORE! ''(drops his groceries)'' What's going on here?!
:'''Sedusa''': ''(fake sobbing)'' Oh, Professor. Thank goodness you're back! The girls went just crazy and they all jumped on me when I came home.
:'''Blossom''': ''(angrily)'' No, Professor! It's not true!
:'''Buttercup''': She's really Sedusa!
:'''Bubbles''': And she grounded us so she can make off with the mayor's jewels!
:'''Sedusa''': LIARS! ''(to the Professor, fake whining)'' Professor, Sweetie, you believe me, don't you? Please.. help me. Please.
:''(Professor grabs Sedusa's arms and the girls think they are getting grounded again)''
:'''Professor''': ''(to the Girls)'' Girls, call the police. ''(the girls perked up)'' That crook is not going to deceive us anymore.
:'''Powerpuff Girls''' Yay!

===Episode 4A.Buttercrush===
:'''Ace''': Oh, Powerpuff Girls. Please forgive my foolish friend for his foolish act, for he did not know what he was doing. And I know deep inside my heart that he would never do anything like that ever again. What do you say, girls? Will you forgive him? Will you? Please?
:'''Blossom''': Okay.
:'''Ace''': Thank you. ''[winks at Buttercup]''

===Episode 5A.Boogie Frights===
:''[Being chased by Boogie Man]''
:'''Bubbles''': Buttercup? Blossom? Oh, no! I - I can't do it alone! ''[Crying]''
:'''Professor Utonium:''' ''[in Bubbles' memory]'' ''Bubbles, if you can just face your fears, then I know you can find the courage to beat him.''
----
:''[At the end of the episode]''
:'''Narrator''': So once again, the day is saved!
:''[The Girls appear, sleeping in bed]''
:'''Narrator''': ''[snickers]'' Get it? The ''day'' was saved? Because it was going to be eternal night! They saved the day, literally! ''[laughs]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[wakes up as Buttercup glares through one eye]'' Shh!
:''[Both she and Buttercup go back to sleep; through all this, Bubbles is not disturbed one bit.]''
:'''Narrator''': ''[voice sinks to a whisper]'' Oh, sorry. Thanks to the Powerpuff Girls. Goodnight, everybody.

===Episode 5B.Abracadaver===
:'''Blossom''': Excuse me, Mr. Zombie, sir?
:'''Abracadaver''': Wha—?
:'''Blossom''': Could you stop destroying Townsville with your evil zombie magic?
:'''Bubbles, Buttercup''': Please?
:'''Abracadaver''': ''[gasps upon seeing Blossom]'' You! You're that girl! ''[he imagines her as the girl from long ago]'' Girl with bear!
:'''Blossom''': Huh?
:'''Abracadaver''': YOU RUINED AL LUSION! YOU MAKE THEM LAUGH AT ME, '''''BUT NOW, REVENGE!!'''''

===Episode 6A.Telephonies ===
:'''Narrator''': The city of Townsville! And what a beautiful city she is, full of- ''[a phone rings]'' Oh, excuse me. ''[answers phone]'' Uh, hello?
:'''Ace''': ''[over phone]'' Yeah, listen, jerkface, you good-for-nothin' toad!
:'''Narrator''': You can't talk to me like that!
:'''Ace''': ''[over phone]'' How 'bout this? I think you stink! I can smell ya over the phone!
:'''Narrator''': Why I oughta...who is this! ''[Ace hangs up]'' Hello? Hello?! ''[turns over to the Gangreen Gang who laugh after making prank calls]'' Oh. The Gangreen Gang. Why, you crank-calling, good-for-nothings! When I get my hands on you, I'll...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The Girls break into Mojo Jojo's lair and beat him up]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': WHAT IS THE MEANING OF- ''[they shove the back of his chair down onto him, then throw him against the wall]''
:'''Blossom''': Don't play dumb. We know you've got some evil plot underway.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': What are you talking about?
:'''Buttercup''': Oh, like you don't have a giant robot ready to smash Townsville!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No.
:'''Blossom''': ''[surprised]'' No diabolical plans to destroy the world?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No.
:'''Bubbles''': ''[scared]'' Turning everyone into zombies to scare people?!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh, for crying out loud, NO! I have no intentions of committing any crimes...today.
:'''Blossom''': Then what were you doing before we got here?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Sleeping!
:'''Buttercup''': Before that?!
:'''Mojo''': Reading the paper!
:'''Blossom''': ''[deflated]'' Oh. ''[long pause]'' Well...you better behave yourself, or we'll be back!
:'''Mojo''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh goodness, I'd better not snore.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Fuzzy was relaxing in the bathtub while playing his banjo, when he hears the Powerpuff Girls approaching for the fight]''
:'''Blossom''': Okay, Fuzzy. Prepare to get stomped!
:''[Fuzzy is splashed all over]''
:'''Buttercup''': This is for anything you broke! ''[decks him]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[pulling his antennae]'' This is for anyone you hurt!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[raising the banjo over her head]'' And this is for taking a bath! ''[swings and hits Fuzzy on the head with the banjo, which causes him to sink in the bathtub]''
:'''Buttercup''': ''[realizes]'' Uh-oh. I think maybe he was just taking a bath.
:'''Bubbles''': Fuzzy...?
:'''Blossom''': Um...we didn't mean to... ''[then Fuzzy rises from the bath, towering above them and beet red with anger. They look up at him and smile nervously with a giggle]'' I guess you weren't going crazy. You were just taking a bath.
:''[All three giggle and inch away to one side before dashing off at top speed]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Girls have just broken into Him's lair to find him doing aerobics]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Hello, girls. What a pleasant surprise. Ooh, what's the occasion?
:'''Blossom''': Uh, we were wondering...
:'''Him''': How I stay so fit? Well, now you know.
:'''Blossom''': Uh, no, actually. Did you do anything evil today?
:'''Him''': No, not today. Why do you ask?
:'''Blossom''': No reason, just wondering.
:'''Him''': This figure doesn't come easy, you know. I took a little time off to get into shape.
:'''Blossom''': So, you haven't been...?
:'''Him''': Nope.
:'''Blossom''': ''[chuckling nervously]'' Okay, I guess we'll see you later.
:'''Him''': I guess you will.
:'''Blossom''': Okay, bye, then.
:''[The Girls fly off]''
:'''Him''': Goodbye, girls. Come back soon. Goodbye... ''[picks up the phone and puts it to his left ear]''
:''[Cut to Mojo, who is on the call with Fuzzy]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': All right, alright, Fuzzy, I heard you the first time...I know. ''[the line beeps]'' I kn...hold on, Fuzzy. There's someone on the other line.
:'''Him''': ''[to Mojo Jojo on the phone; demonic voice]'' '''Mojo! It's me'''... ''[effeminate voice]'' Him!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Yes, sir! What is it?
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''You won't believe what just happened.'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The Powerpuff Girls just broke in unexpected?
:'''Him''': '''WHAT?! How did you know?'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The same thing happened to me and Fuzzy Lumpkins. He's on the other line.
:'''Him''': '''Well, put him on!'''
:''[Mojo puts Fuzzy on the line]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': ''[shaking with fury]'' BUSHWHACKED IN MY BIRTHDAY SUIT!!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''This is an outrage!'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': You are right. We're all citizens! Evil citizens, but citizens nonetheless!
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Birthday suit!! ''[cries]''
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''We should complain!'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': But to whom?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The phone rings]''
:'''Big Billy''': ''[answers the phone]'' Hello?
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''I demand to speak with the Mayor!'''
:'''Big Billy''': He's not here right now. Can I take a massage?
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''Do you know when he'll be back?'''
:'''Big Billy''': Uh...I don't know. See, Grubber tricked the Mayor into leaving so we could break in and use the Powerpuff hotline to make crank calls.
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''Huh?!''' ''[effeminate voice]'' You don't say. Well, to whom might I be speaking?
:'''Big Billy''': Uh, this is Billy.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Billy who?
:'''Big Billy''': Big Billy from the Gangreen Gang. Who is this? ''[Him hangs up the phone]'' Hello?
:''[A crash suddenly shakes the room, snapping the Gangreen Gang awake. Him, Mojo Jojo, and Fuzzy Lumpkins have come in, looking enraged]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' So! You guys like to make ''[demonic voice]'' '''crank calls!'''
:''[Him, Mojo, and Fuzzy proceed to beat up the Gangreen Gang]''
:'''Mayor''': ''[mumbling to himself]'' Oh, of all the foolishness. Cut the ribbon, pshaw! ''[stops short and looks on in surprise]'' Oh, my!
:''[There was the battle royal going on in his office, and the mayor tiptoes to the hotline to make a call]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The girls are sleeping at night, when the hotline buzzes]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[picks up the receiver]'' Hello?
:'''Mayor''': ''[over the hotline]'' Powerpuff Girls! You're not gonna believe this! The Gangreen Gang, Mojo Jojo, Fuzzy Lumpkins and Him are fighting right here in my office!
:'''Blossom''': ''[hangs up]'' Yeah, right, Mayor, very funny. ''[tucks herself back in bed]''
:''[The hotline buzzes again, which annoys the girls. Then Buttercup uses her laser eyes to destroy the hotline, before going back to bed]''
:'''Girls''': Goodnight, Professor!
:''[But the professor is still on hold since the beginning of an episode]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Narrator''': So once again the day is saved! Thanks to...Mojo?...Fuzzy?...and Him?

===Episode 6B.Tough Love  ===
:'''Narrator''': Those little scamps are so adorable! How we just love the Powerpuff Girls!
:''[Him is in a bathtub, looking angry]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Oh, how I ''[demonic]'' '''HATE THE POWERPUFF GIRLS!'''
:'''Narrator''': Hate the Powerpuff Girls?! Who could hate the...? Oh, no. Please don't let it be...Him!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Oh, Powerpuff Girls, save us! Oh, Powerpuff Girls, we need you! Oh, Powerpuff Girls, we ''love'' you! ''[demonic]'' '''Powerpuff Girls! Powerpuff Girls!! POWERPUFF GIRLS!!!''' ''[looks at a rubber ducky; effeminate]'' Oh, Mr. Quackers, am I the only one who ''[demonic]'' '''hates those''' ''[effeminate]'' miserable little brats? ''[squeaks his ducky]'' You hate them, too? Oh, I knew I could count on you! But how can I possibly beat them with all that ''[demonic]'' '''love surrounding them?!''' ''[squeaks his ducky; effeminate]'' What's that you say? ''[squeaks his ducky again]'' Yes! ''[demonic]'' '''That's brilliant!''' ''[effeminate]'' Oh, Mr. Quackers, you are ''so'' smart. Quite a positively evil scheme you've hatched. And I'll finally be rid of those girls... ''[demonic]'' '''FOREVER!!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Poor, ususpecting Townsville, all snug in your beds. Unaware of the evil that lurks above your heads. And so, with a flick of my wrist and a twirl of my claw, I'll be rid of those girls once and ''[demonic]'' '''for all.'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:''[Ms. Keane and the students of Pokey Oaks Kindergarten are throwing things at the girls]''
:'''Blossom''': I've heard of class struggles, but this is ridiculous.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Buttercup''': Wow, this has turned out to be one freaky day.
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah. Something strange is going on.
:'''Narrator''': ''[affected by Him's evil gas and yelling]'' Aw, for crying out loud, WOULD YOU THREE SHUT UP FOR ONCE?! Always griping and moaning about something! Sheesh, you give me a headache!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:''[All the citizens of Townsville, all affected by Him's evil gas, are cornering the Powerpuff Girls, preparing to destroy them]''
:'''Buttercup''': Why are you people doing this?!
:'''Bubbles''': Don't you love us anymore?
:'''Blossom''': Yeah, you act as if you, as if you...
:'''Him''': ''[off-screen; effeminate]'' Hate you?
:'''Blossom''': Yeah! Hate us! ''[realizes who responded to her question]'' Wait, who said that?
:'''Him''': ''[appears]'' Why, I did, of course.
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': ''[gasp in horror]'' It's Him!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Right you are, girls!''' ''[appears in front of the Professor; effeminate]'' And right you are about your loved ones. ''[licking the Professor's face]''
:'''Blossom''': Take your claws off of the Professor!
:'''Bubbles''': What's he ever done to you?!
:'''Him''': Oh, it's not what ''he's'' done to ''me'', but what he's ''going'' to do ''[demonic]'' '''to YOU!''' ''[effeminate]'' You see, I've taken all of their love for you and ''[his head rotates]'' tuuuuuurned...it into... ''[demonic]'' '''HATE!''' ''[the girls gasp in horror; effeminate]'' Now they will destroy you. ''[demonic]'' '''And you poor, helpless creatures won't be able to fight back.''' ''[effeminate]'' Because the Powerpuff Girls would never hurt the ones they love. Oh, no, they wouldn't! ''[demonic]'' '''NOW DESTROY THEM!'''
:''[The people of Townsville, affected by Him's evil gas, are battling with the Powerpuff Girls, who are on the losing end, until Buttercup rises and knocks the mob away with one punch, stunning Him]''
:'''Buttercup''': Come on, you guys! Get up and fight!
:'''Blossom''': Buttercup, what are you doing? We can't hurt the ones we love.
:'''Buttercup''': Those people ''aren't'' our loved ones. Our loved ones would never want to hurt us!
:'''Blossom, Bubbles''': ''[getting the point]'' Hey, yeah!
:'''Buttercup''': ''[points to Him]'' They're just pawns in his evil scheme!
:'''Him''': ''[giggles; effeminate]'' Well, you know...
:'''Buttercup''': Which means...
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': Let's get 'em!
:'''Him''': ''[frowns]'' Uh-oh.
:''[After the Powerpuff Girls defeat their loved ones and rid them of Him's evil gas, they confront Him]''
:'''Blossom''': Don't ever make us have to do that again!
:'''Buttercup''': Or it will be your last!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Tsk, tsk, tsk. You girls underestimate me. I never give repeat performances. But I assure you, I'll be back!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:''[At the hospital]''
:'''Blossom''': So now you know why we had to do what we did. We all feel really bad, and hope that you'll forgive us.
:'''Bubbles''': Besides, it hurt us a lot more than it hurt you!
:'''Citizens''': Well now, we wouldn't say that! ''[all laughing]''
:'''Narrator''': ''[laughing, then groaning]'' Don’t worry. We forgive you. Because once again, the day is saved, thanks to The Powerpuff Girls! Oh, nurse, isn't it time for my sponge bath?

===Episode 7A: Major Competition ===
:'''Narrator''': '''THE CITY OF TOWNSVILLE IS ON FIRE!!'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mugger''': ''[holding an old woman at gunpoint]'' Uh... everybody freeze or the old lady gets it!
:''[The crowd gasps in terror]''
:'''Major Man''': Halt, vile villain, or taste the bitter flavor of justice that Major Man will serve you!
:'''Buttercup''': ''[sing-song voice]'' Cor-ny!
:''[The crowd shushes her]''
:'''Mugger:''' I'm sorry, Major Man!  My doctor told me to cut down on justice!  But he did say I could have all the ''greens'' I want!  ''[grabs money from the purse]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Blossom:''' Boy, the hotline hasn't run in ages!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mayor:''' That was so hard to do!  ''[pause]''  Anyway, time to move on and forget about the past!  Gotta make room for the future!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Buttercup:''' Let's beat the stuffing out of him!

===Episode 7B.Mister Mojo's Rising===
:''[Mojo Jojo's letter to the Girls:]''
:Dear Powerpuff Girls,
:I have kidnapped Professor Utonium! I have taken him someplace against his will! If you look for him in the spots he likes to be, you will not find him! He's with me - but not by choice! I took him and he didn't like it!
:This message is from, and was written by, Mojo Jojo.
:'''Bubbles''': Who could have done this?
:''[Blossom and Buttercup look annoyed]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator:''' ''[laughs]'' Wow; talk about ironic!  Professor creates Mojo, Mojo creates Girls!  It's crazy, I tell you.  ''[laughs some more]'' Yeah!  So, once again, the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls, but thanks ORIGINALLY to Mojo Jojo!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' It was me.  It was me.  It was me.  It was me.  It was me.
:''[episode ends]''

===Episode 8A.Paste Makes Waste===
:'''Buttercup:''' '''EAT THIS, PASTE EATER!!!!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Loyd &amp; Floyd:''' ''[frightened]'' Hey, dude........
:'''Mitch Mitchelson:''' What?!
:'''Loyd &amp; Floyd:''' Dude..... Dude....

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[to Elmer, who has turned into a giant paste monster, and is covered in flour; sing-song voice]'' You can't stick to me! You can't stick to me! Nyah nyah nyah-nyah- ''[Elmer grows a hole in his stomach and Buttercup flies through it]'' -Nyah???

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom:''' You know what you have to do!
:'''Buttercup:''' '''No! Anything but that!'''
:'''Blossom:''' Buttercup!
:'''Buttercup:''' No, no, no, no, no! All right! '''ELMER!!'''
:'''Elmer:''' Huh?
:'''Buttercup:''' Uh…I-I-I’m…s-s-s-so-s-s-so-o-o…o-o-r-r…r-r-r-ry!
:'''Elmer:''' ''(normal voice)'' Wh-wh-what?
:'''Buttercup:''' I’m…sorry if I picked on you, and…I’m sorry if I called you a…paste eater.
:'''Elmer:''' ''(sniffs, rubs his nose, and takes Blossom and Bubbles out of the sticky glue)'' Thanks, Buttercup. That's all I ever wanted.

===Episode 8B.Ice Sore===

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': ''(after finding out that Blossom has &quot;ice breath&quot;)'' Make the floor all ice, like in ''[[Tom and Jerry]]''! That's my favorite.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom''': Hi, Pablo!
:'''Pablo''': Blossom, how come your sisters are so mean?
:'''Blossom''': Oh, it's 'cause I have ice power and they don't and they're all jealous.
:'''Bubbles and Buttercup''': Nyah!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''(Blossom has accidentally caused crooks to get away with her ice breath)''
:'''Buttercup''': ''(angrily)'' Way to go, Ice Princess.
:'''Bubbles''': You did a bad thing, Blossom.
:'''Blossom''': I know. ''(flies over to cops she accidentally froze)'' Sorry, Mr. Policeman. ''(flies over to citizens she accidentally froze)'' Sorry, people of Townsville. ''(flies over to a tree she accidentally froze)'' Sorry, tree. I promise, I'll never use my ice powers again.

===Episode 11A.Just Another Manic Mojo===
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Now to have some breakfast! ''[finds only one egg in the fridge]'' ONE EGG LEFT?! For a nutritious breakfast, TWO eggs is the minimum requirement! And I have but ONE, which is ONE shy of TWO! And it is TWO that I need! ''Curses!'' I must immediately purchase some eggs, for I need to have breakfast, and without the eggs I cannot have the breakfast that I so require! ''[storms down the long staircase that runs to the bottom of the volcano, then suddenly skids to a halt and pats his outfit in panic]'' I have forgotten my wallet! ''Curses!'' ''[storms back up]''
:''[Cut to him returning down, to discover kids playing in his moat]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': '''HEY, YOU KIDS!!! GET OUT OF MY MOAT!!! IT IS NOT MADE TO BE PLAYED IN!!!''' ''[The kids ignore him, who leaves and muttering to himself]'' I must remember to destroy those kids after my breakfast has been eaten.

===Episode 12.The Rowdyruff Boys===
:''[After defeating Mojo]''
:'''Buttercup''': Give it up, Mo-joke!
:'''Bubbles''': You will never defeat us! So there! ''[blows raspberry]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[resting her hands on her hips]'' The Powerpuff Girls never lose!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator''': ''[singing]'' The Powerpuff Girls' house!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[picks up the phone]'' Hello?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Hello.  May I speak to Professor Utonium?
:'''Bubbles''': Who shall I say is calling?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh, no one he'd know, just a curious stranger.
:''[Pause]''
:'''Bubbles''': ''[shrill call]'' PROFESSOR! There’s a stranger on the phone!
:'''Professor''': ''[picking up the phone]'' Hello, Mr. Stranger, what can I do for you?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh. ''[clears throat]'' Ah, hi, I’m calling from Townsville Community College and I’m doing a report on the Powerpuff Girls, and I was wondering, what exactly are those little girls made of?
:'''Professor''': Ah, oh, well, the Powerpuff Girls.  Oh, let’s see now, eight cups of sugar, a pinch of spice, one tablespoon of everything nice, and, now this one’s important: accidentally add a drop of Chemical X.  And voila!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': That's it?  I mean, wow. Thanks.
:'''Professor''': I also have a great recipe for pound--
:''[Mojo hangs up]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Let’s see, snips and snails and a puppy dog’s tail...all that leaves is Chemical X. There must be something around here with that potency. Aha! ''[it’s a stinky toilet]'' Yes, definitely Chemical X!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After creating three Puff-esque boys, Mojo hugs them in a fatherly manner]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Ah, my children!
:'''Brick''': ''[grabs him threateningly]'' Hands off! Who do you think you are anyway, Pops?!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Why, yes, I am your '''''father''''', children!
:'''Boomer''': Hey! We ain't no babies!
:'''Rowdyruff Boys''': WE'RE THE ROWDYRUFF BOYS!
:'''Boomer''': Boomer!
:'''Brick''': Brick!
:'''Butch''': Butch!
:'''Brick''': We're here to kick some butt! And since yours is the only one around, we're gonna start with you!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh, no, boys.  You don't want to kick my butt; my butt is as rotten as yours.  What you want are butts settled on the throne of justice!
:'''The Rowdyruff Boys''': Yeah!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Butts planted in the soil of nobility!
:'''The Rowdyruff Boys''': Yeah!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Butts nestled between the pillars of peace and love!  The butts you want to kick are the butts of the Powerpuff Girls!
:'''The Rowdyruff Boys''': Let's get 'em!
:'''Mojo''': I'd be glad to take you to them if we only had a way out of heeeeeeee- ''[getting picked up by Brick, and Boomer and Butch punch a hole in the ceiling, essentially busting Mojo out of jail easily]''
:'''Narrator''': Boy, oh, boy! Those boys are b-b-bad to the bone!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Brick''': Hey! What's wrong with you girls?! You're supposed to start ''crying'' when we hit ya!
:'''Boomer''': Yeah!
:'''Blossom''': What are you guys, new?
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah, we're the Powerpuff Girls!
:'''Buttercup''': And it takes a lot more than a couple of cheap shots to make us cry!
:'''Brick''': ''[smirking]'' Well, then. I guess we'll just have to serve it up...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bubbles is thrown through a shop window]''
:'''Mr. Cooper''': Are you okay?
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah. Sorry about your window, Mr. Looper.
:'''Mr. Cooper''': It's Cooper! COOPER!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''The Mayor''': And furthermore, every Wednesday shall be pretzel day!  ''[Blossom is thrown against the window of his office]'' Hello, Blossom! ''[she slides down]'' Goodbye, Blossom.  ''[Bubbles is thrown against the window of his office]'' Hello, Bubbles! ''[she slides down]'' Goodbye, Bubbles.  ''[Buttercup is thrown against the window of his office]'' Hello, Buttercup! ''[she slides down]'' Goodbye, Buttercup.  What sort of pretzels do you suppose the girls like, Bavarian, or tiny twists?
:'''Miss Bellum''': Sir, I think the girls may be in trouble.
:'''The Mayor''': Whatever makes you say that?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the Rowdyruff Boys zoom past the Powerpuff Girls, the exhaust leaves the Girls weakened and coughing]''
:'''Butch''': Good thing we had those burritos for lunch!
:'''Boomer''': ''[laughs]'' Yeah, dude!
:'''Brick''': ''[snickers]'' Word! ''[fiercely]'' NOW LET'S '''FINISH THOSE SISSIES!!!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Miss Bellum''': Listen. What do little boys fear more than anything in the world?
:'''Bubbles''': Bugs!
:'''Buttercup''':  No, Bubbles. That's what ''you’re'' afraid of.
:'''Bubbles''': Oh yeah.
:'''Miss Bellum''': Girls, you have what boys fear most. Instead of fighting, try being nice.
:'''Girls''': Huh?
:'''Miss Bellum''': You know. Nice.
:'''Blossom''': I get it.
:'''Buttercup''': Ew. Gross.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the Girls magically kiss the Rowdyruff Boys, destroying them]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Curse you again, Powerpuff Girls! I'll be back, but next time I will not be defeated! It is ''you'' who will be defeated! And when you are defeated, it is ''you'' who will have ''lost''!
:'''Narrator''': Oh, Mojo, shut up!
:'''Blossom''': I kinda liked kissing.
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah!
:''[She and Blossom giggle]''
:'''Blossom''': How about you, Buttercup?
:'''Buttercup''': ''[starts spitting in disgust]'' Yuck! Buck!
:''[Bubbles and Blossom laugh]''

==Season 2==
5 Episodes by January 1, 1999 - January 31, 2000

===Episode 1A.Stuck Up, Up, and Away===
:'''Narrator:''' The City of Townsville, and it's a shiny new day, with a shiny new limousine headed for Pokey Oaks Kindergarten.  Seems there will be a shiny new face joining the class today!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' I'll need some milk money for my first day of new school!  ''[her dad hands her some cash]''  I suppose this will do!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After Blossom has used her ice breath on a flying Princess to rid her of her superpowered suit, and she falls, crying, but Blossom catches her before she can hit the ground]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[crying]'' Why won't you let me be a Powerpuff Girl?
:'''Blossom:''' Because you're just a spoiled brat. ''[puts Princess down]'' And being a Powerpuff Girl isn't about getting your way, or having the best stuff, or being popular or powerful. It's about using your own unique abilities to help people and the world we all live in. And you, little girl, have done nothing worthy of the name &quot;Powerpuff.&quot;

===Episode4B.You Snooze, You Lose===
:'''Bubbles''': A scavenger hunt? How terrible! I don't believe in hunting scavengers.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[with bloodshot eyes and a crazed smile]'' I know who took my plans! ''[his eyes turn slowly to his left, then he suddenly points to his right]'' It was YOU! ''[a bird at his window chirps innocently]'' Well, then...it was YOU! ''[points at his telephone]'' It was ALL of you! ''[the room starts shaking]'' Ohh, the pounding, the pounding, why won't it stop?!
:''[Outside, Buttercup is knocking on his door]''
:'''Buttercup''': Why-won't-this-guy-answer?!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[throws the door open]'' '''WHAAAAAAAT?!?'''
:'''Bubbles''': ''[politely]'' Hello! Please, Mr. Mojo, sir, could we please borrow your supercharged high-tech laser, please?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Okay, okay, just don't bother me again. I'm trying to find my plans on how to destroy you.
:'''Powerpuff Girls:''' ''[with Mojo's high-tech laser]'' THANK YOU, MOJO!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mojo sees the Powerpuff Girls trapped in the machine he planned, with the clueless Amoeba Boys at the control panel]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': '''MY MACHINE!!!'''
:'''Junior''': ''[playing with the aiming yoke]'' Duh, hey, look, Boss, I'm drivin'!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[shoves them away]'' Get out of here! This is ''my'' machine! ''[laughs evilly]'' Now I've got you, Powerpuff Girls! And it is ''my'' plan that will destroy you! And then I will rule the world!
:'''Buttercup''': Mojo, you creep!
:'''Blossom''': This is the Amoebas' plan!
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah! You're just jealous!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[shocked and confused]'' No! No! It is mine, I tell you! I came up with the crab! And the laser! And even the chewing gum that holds you!
:'''Girls''': Chewing gum?!
:'''Blossom''': Girls! &quot;Chew&quot; thinking what I'm thinking?
:'''Bubbles, Buttercup''': ''[nodding]'' Mmm-hmm!
:''[They chew their way free and fly at Mojo, blowing huge bubbles that burst explosively, knocking him from his seat. They then give him a beatdown as per usual, and then turn to the Amoeba Boys]''
:'''Blossom''': Well, Amoeba Boys! Playing dumb all these years!
:'''Bubbles''': When all the while, you were criminal masterminds!
:'''Buttercup''': Looks like it's the big house for you!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[going ballistic]'' But it is ''I'' who planned it! ''I'' did it, not them! ''I'' am the criminal mastermind! ''I'' am the evil genius! I smart, they dumb! ''I'' am responsible for trying to destroy you!
:'''Blossom''': ''[smiling]'' Okay. Then ''you'' go to jail.
:'''Mojo''': ''[triumphantly]'' That's right!

===Episode 6A.Slave the Day===
:'''Narrator''': &quot;The city of Townsville... SMELLS&quot;?!! Say, what's going on here? &quot;The Mayor's dumb&quot;?! That's just rude!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Big Billy &quot;reads&quot; the girls a bedtime story]''
:'''Big Billy''': &quot;So the 3 Little Wolves went to the pig's house, and they said, 'FE FI FO FUM, you sure have big teeth, Grandma!' And so Hansel and the 3 Blind Mice climbed up the beanstalk to sell Mother Goose an old shoe!&quot;

===Episode 6B.Los Dos Mojos===
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[beating up Mojo Jojo]'' Take this! And that! And some of this! And one of those!
:'''Blossom:''' Buttercup, if Mojo Jojo is here, he can't possibly be the one destroying Townsville!
:'''Buttercup:''' Then who's in the Robo Jojo?
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' Why don't you see for yourself?
:''[The machine opens, revealing an amnesiac Bubbles in Mojo Jojo's clothes]''
:'''Blossom, Buttercup:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Narrator:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Mayor:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Talking Dog:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Crowd:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''(sarcastically)'' Bubbles.
:'''Bubbles:''' ''[imitating Mojo]'' I am not Bubbles! Bubbles is not who I am! I am the one, the only, single solitary doer of dastardly deeds! Purveyor of pestilence! And deliverer of lawlessness! I'm a menace to mankind! I am bad! I am evil! I am Mojo Jojo! Hahahahahahahaha!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''[annoyed]'' I do not talk like that! The way I communicate is ''much'' different! I do not reiterate, repeat, reinstate the same thing over and over again! I am clear! Concise! To-the-point! I-
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[beating him up again]'' Take this! And that! And some of this! And one of those!
:'''Blossom:''' What kind of evil have you bestowed upon our sister?!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' You've got to be kidding. I'm wet! I'm naked! Your sister is wearing my clothes! And this is all part of some evil plot... '''TO RULE THE WORLD AS A SOGGY CHIMP IN MY BIRTHDAY SUIT?!?!?'''
:'''Blossom:''' Buttercup, I don't think Mojo is behind this one. That bonk to Bubbles' head must have led her to believe that she is Mojo Jojo!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''[sarcastic]'' No, really? Do you think?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Narrator:''' ''[Mojo Bubbles just hit Blossom across a brick building]'' Uh-oh, Bubbles done a bad thing!
:''[An upset Blossom is about to attack Mojo Bubbles but Buttercup prevents her]''
:'''Buttercup:''' Blossom, wait! She's our sister!
:'''Blossom:''' Yeah, but that really hurt.
:'''Buttercup:''' I know, I know. But two wrongs don't make a right. She hits you, you hit her. Suddenly we’re all hitting each other, then we’ll all be right back where we started.
:'''Bubbles:''' ''[imitating Mojo Jojo]'' What's the matter, Buttercup? 'Fraid I'll whoop the skirt off you?
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[annoyed]'' Alright, let's kick her butt.
:'''Blossom:''' ''[preventing her]'' No, Buttercup. You’re right. She is our sister. And as sisters, we have an intrinsic duty; to uphold peace. Not only for the city of Townsville, but amongst ourselves.
:'''Bubbles''': ''[imitating Mojo Jojo]'' Prepare to meet your maker!
:'''Blossom and Buttercup''': ''[outraged]'' You leave the professor out of this!
:''[Then Mojo Bubbles proceeds to beat up her sisters]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' '''RIGHT ON! WE DID IT!''' We finally destroyed the Powerpuff Girls! Now there is no one to stop us! Hand in hand, we can work together! '''WE CAN RULE THE WORLD!''' Just you and me, Bubbles.
:'''Bubbles:''' ''[imitating Mojo]'' I am not Bubbles! Bubbles is not my name! For the name &quot;Bubbles&quot; is not the correct name to address me by, because it is not my name! If you were to address me by the name &quot;Mojo Jojo,&quot; that would be correct, for my name is Mojo Jojo! And I will only be addressed by that name, which is Mojo Jojo! And furthermore, it is not &quot;we&quot; who will rule the world - it is &quot;I&quot;! I, being Mojo Jojo - who is not Bubbles - shall rule this world alone, which is to say, without anybody else, and without anybody else shall I rule this world! And when this world is ruled by only one person, and not a collective group, that one person who shall be ruling the world will be none other than me, Mojo Jojo! ''[evil laugh]''
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''[annoyed and angrily]'' &lt;Big&gt;'''Oh, SHUT UP!!!'''&lt;/Big&gt; ''[swings a girder which hits Bubbles' head in slow-mo just as he did at the beginning of the show, knocking out Bubbles's memory, then, in normal speed, he reclaims his helmet and puts it back on]'' That's all just well enough, because in reality there is only room enough in this world for one Mojo Jojo. [[w:Monty Python and the Holy Grail|One shall be the number of Mojo Jojos in the world, and the number of Mojo Jojos in the world shall be one! Two Mojo Jojos is too many, and three is right out!]] So, the only Mojo Jojo there is room for in the world SHALL BE ME! ''(echoing)'' And being the only Mojo Jojo in the world, I will rule the world, in which there is ''only one'' '''MOJO JOJO!!!''' ''[evil laugh]''
:'''Bubbles:''' ''[regains consciousness as her normal self]'' What happened? ''[sees all the damages she did as Mojo Jojo, then gasps]'' There is only one evildoer who could've done this to Townsville, and that's... ''[notices Mojo laughing]'' MOJO JOJO! ''[proceeds to attack him]''
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[pointing]'' Look!
:'''Blossom:''' It looks like Bubbles is back to her sweet old self again.
:'''Buttercup:''' That's good. ’Cause there certainly isn't enough room in the world for ''two'' Mojo Jojos.
:'''Blossom:''' I heard that!
:'''Narrator:''' Yeah, and so did we - over a million times! We get it already! And so once again, the day is saved, thanks to Mojo Bubbles...er the Powerpuff... Ah, heck, the day was saved. ''[imitating Mojo]'' So says me, the Narrator. So-called because I speak the narrative of the story! I advance the plot! I begin and end each episode of ''The Powerpuff Girls!'' '''''Me! The Narrator!'''''

===Episode 7A.Very Special Blossom===
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Ahhh! My master is completed! Happy father's day! My captian, I wish you were here to enjoy
:''(Blossom crashes in and made Mojo scream in bloody hell as Blossom tides Mojo's body with tape)''
:''(Scene changes to a prison)''
:'''Buttercup''': It's Blossom!
:'''Blossom''': Look! I can explain everything! The professor shouldn't be in jail for stealing any golf clubs! It's all Mojo's fault!
:''(Mojo muffles a protest that he didn't do it)''
:'''Mayor''': I say, Chief. We made a terrible mistake. Didn't we?
:'''Buttercup''': ''(angrily)'' Wait a minute, Blossom! You told me you found those clubs! Which is it? Did you find them? Or did he sell it to you? Come on, Blossom! TELL THE TRUTH!
:'''Bubbles''': YEAH! YOU BIG FAT LIAR!
:'''Buttercup''': COME ON!!!
:'''Professor''': Please, Tell the truth, Blossom!
:'''Buttercup''': ''(as Blossom whimpers then tries to escape from her punishment)'' WATCH OUT!
:'''Bubbles''': She is getting away!
:'''Buttercup''': COME BACK HERE, AND QUIT LYING!
:''(They finally caught Blossom)''
:'''Blossom''': ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! ''(regretfully)'' I did it. I stole the golf clubs.
:'''Professor''': But why, Blossom! Why?!?!
:'''Blossom''': Because you wanted it so much, And I just wanted to make you happy!
:'''Professor''': It's all my fault! ''(voice breaks down)'' I put too much value in a material item, instead of the love of you girls.
:'''Blossom''': And that's what drove a crime!
:'''Professor''': Oh, Mayor, please...go easy on Blossom. She's sorry. ''(to Blossom)'' Aren’t you, honey?
:'''Blossom''': ''(whines)'' Yes!
:'''Mayor''': What do you say, Officer? It is her first offense!
:'''Police Officer''': ''(as his voice breaks down)'' This is very sad. ''(angrily)'' BUT THE LAW IS THE LAW!
:''(We see Blossom's mugshot)''
:'''Narrator''': Blossom was sentenced to 300 hours of community service. This was a harsh reminder to herself and all that crime doesn't pay.
:'''Blossom''': Boy, you can say that again.
:'''Father Bird''': Well, it doesn't!
:'''Blossom''': Huh?
:'''Father Bird''': I said it doesn't!
:''(The baby birds agree to their father)''
:'''Narrator''': So once again, the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls! ''(we see Bubbles and Buttercup very angry at Blossom in a prison inmate uniform)'' Well, Two of them at least.
:''(Bubbles and Buttercup leave as we see Blossom behind bars)''

===Episode 7B.Daylight Savings===
:'''The Time Channel announcer:''' Welcome to the time channel, where we give you up-to-the-minute time, 24 hours a day. Up next, the current time. Hello. I’m Sonny Dial, here to bring you the latest time. But first, I hope all of you remembered that last night was Daylight Savings, which means everyone sets their clocks back by one hour. That makes our current time 6:41. I’ll be back at 6:42 with the up-to-the-minute time.
:'''Professor:''' ''(realizing as he checks all the clock including his watch'') CRIKEY! I FORGOT TO SET THE CLOCKS BACK! ''(kicks down the bedroom door, turns on the light, rushes to the bed pulling covers away)'' Girls, wake up! GIRLS, WAKE UP!!! ''(slamming hotline receiver in cradle repeatedly)'' Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! ''(grabs mattress)'' Get out of bed! NOW! ''(flips the mattress; the girls are now awake, and he's panting frantically)'' Daylight savings, clocks wrong, forty-five minutes, save Townsville now!
:'''Blossom''': But what about our curfew?
:'''Professor''': There's no time! ''(throws them out their windows one at a time)'' GO! GO! GO!

===Episode 11A.Twisted Sister===
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Blossom''': The first thing we need is sugar.
:'''Bubbles''': I'll get it! ''[Dashes on the left]''
:'''Blossom''': And spice.
:'''Buttercup''': I'm on it! ''[Dashes on the right]''
:'''Blossom''': Next you need...
:'''Bubbles''': ''[Comes back with a sweet powder]'' I couldn't find any sugar, but I did find an artificial sweetener.
:'''Blossom''': That's okay. Next you need...
:'''Buttercup''': ''[Comes back with dirt, twigs and leaves]'' I didn't know where to get spices, so I got dirt and twigs and stuff.
:'''Blossom''': Well, that's kinda like spices. Put it in. Now, next you need...everything nice!
:'''Girls''': Oh, boy! ''[The three fly out]''
:'''Bubbles''': Crayons are nice.
:'''Blossom''': Books are nice.
:'''Buttercup''': Lizards are nice!
:'''Bubbles''': I like flowers.
:'''Blossom''' Computers are good.
:'''Buttercup''': A football!
:'''Bubbles''': Stuffed animals!
:'''Blossom''': A calculator.
:'''Buttercup''': A mackerel.
:'''Bubbles''': More flowers.
:'''Blossom''': A compass.
:'''Buttercup''': Boxing gloves.
:'''Bubbles''': Ribbon!
:'''Blossom''': Art.
:'''Buttercup''': Band aids.
:'''Bubbles''': A smiley face.
:'''Blossom''': A globe.
:'''Buttercup''': ''[Punches the bowl]'' A knuckle sandwich!
:'''Blossom''': Okay. The final and most important step is to accidentally add Chemical X to the concoction.
:''[The girls make awkward faces and dash out and Blossom holds a beaker that looks like Chemical X]''
:'''Blossom''': Oh, look at what I found, girls. Chemical X.
:'''Bubbles''': Be careful with that Chemical X.
:'''Buttercup''': Yes, Blossom. Whatever you do, do not drop that Chemical X.
:'''Blossom''': Don't worry, I wo...''[Drops the beaker]'' Whoops! I accidentally dropped the Chemical X. And it fell into the concoction.
:'''Girls''': Oh, no.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Narrator''': Hurry, girls, hurry! You created a monster! 
:'''Girls''': Bunny!
:'''Bunny''': Wha?
:'''Bubbles''': What have you done?
:'''Bunny''': Bunny do good! Bunny do good!
:'''Buttercup''': No, Bunny do bad. Very bad!
:'''Bunny''': Bad?
:'''Blossom''': Yes, bad. You're supposed to stop crime, not help start it. I guess you're not cut out to be a Powerpuff Girl after all.
:'''Bunny''': No Powawull?
:'''Girls''': No.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': Wha...Wh-Wh-Wh-What happened?
:'''Blossom''': Bunny saved us!
:'''Buttercup''': But...where is she?
:''[A part of Bunny's dress lands in front of them]''
:'''Girls''': ''[gasp]'' Bunny!
:'''Bubbles''': Oh no! She exploded!
:'''Buttercup''': But why?
:'''Blossom''': I guess she was unstable, and the blast broke her down into her original ingredients. 
:'''Bubbles''': She was good after all... ''[starts to cry]'' ''We'' were the ones who were bad.
:''[They hang their heads in shame.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:''[At the end of the episode]''
:'''Narrator''': [''crying hard for a few seconds''] Oh, it's so sad, I can't take it. And so, for the first...and final time...the day is saved, thanks to Powerpuff Bunny! 
:'''Bunny''': Powawul!
:'''Narrator''': ''[crying harder for a few more seconds]'' Oh, why? WHY?!?...Oh, go to a commercial!

===Episode 11B.Cover Up===
:''[holding a blanket to her cheek]''
:'''Buttercup''': I am a good fighter. I am a good fighter.  I am a good fighter.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[after crying and pounding the counter in frustration]'' Where's my blanket?!
:'''Bubbles:''' We don't have time for this, Buttercup.
:'''Blossom:''' ''[worried]'' Townsville is in trouble.
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[losing it completely]'' '''''NOOOOOOOO!!'' I NEED MY BLANKET!!'''

===Episode 12A.Speed Demon===
:'''Him''': ''[laughs; effeminate]'' Don't you know the faster you go, time slows down? Your time stopped for fifty years whilst you were out racing around. 
:'''Blossom''': I know that voice!
:'''Him''': Seconds, minutes, hours, days and nights all crawl by on hands and knees as you race the speed of light.
:''[Him has now emerged. The Girls gasp in horror]''
:'''Him''': Yes! Coming back now? Remember?
:''[Buttercup remembers her dare to her sisters: &quot;So - which of you slowpokes wants to race me home?&quot;]''
:'''Buttercup''': No!
:'''Him''': Yes! As you raced through time, the whole world went to ''[demonic]'' '''Heck!'''
:'''Blossom''': You lie! Don't believe him, Girls!
:''[The Girls severely attack and batter Him, but he seems totally unaffected]''
:'''Him''': Are you finished?
:'''Buttercup''': No, but ''you'' are!
:'''Blossom''': Don't you know you can never beat us?
:'''Him''': Beat you? ''[eyes start glowing]'' But girls, don't you see? I've ''[demonic]'' '''already  ''WON!'''''
:''[He transforms into the larger, more terrifying monster version of himself]''
:'''Him''': The beauty lies in the blame, because ''[demonic]'' '''it's ''your'' fault for leaving! Just ask your friends.'''
:'''Citizens''': ''[variously]'' Powerpuff Girls. You did this? You did this?
:'''Blossom''': No!
:'''Him''': All ''I'' did was take over. ''[demonic]'' '''It was ''easy!'''''
:'''Citizens''': Why'd you leave us, Powerpuff Girls? Why? You weren't here to protect us. You weren't here. It's your fault. ''[chanting]'' Your fault.
:'''Blossom''': What have we done?!
:''[Him laughs demonically]''
:'''Citizens''': ''[still chanting]'' Your fault.
:'''Buttercup''': No. No! NO!
:'''Bubbles''': WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!? ''[begins to cry]''
:''[The Powerpuff Girls, screaming in defiance, fly into space, then dive back to earth at supersonic speeds, thus going back in time]''
:'''Citizen''': Hi, girls!
:'''BB''': Hi!
:'''Ms. Keane''': Hi, girls!
:'''BB''': Hi!
:'''Mayor''': Hi, girls!
:'''Professor Utonium''': Hi, girls!
:''[the Girls sorrowfully hug the professor and explained what happened during their speedy time travel]''

==Season 3==
5 Episodes by February 2, 2000 - December 31, 2001

===Episode 0A.Helter Shelter===

===Episode 0B.Moxy===

===Episode 1A.Fallen Arches===

===Episode 1B.The Mane Event===

===Episode 2A.Town and Out===
:'''Proffessor''': ''(taking his head to the opended window)'' I love this town!!!!! ''(echoing)''
:'''Man''': ''(off-screen,angry)'' Ahh shut up ya jerk !!!!!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Citiesville Mayor''': ''(quietly, sternly)'' Let me tell you some words. At what point did it seem like a good idea to blow up the Cityville Bridge? 
:'''Blossom''': Uhh...
:'''Citiesville Mayor''': ''(waves his index finger at the girls)'' No! ''(getting off desk)'' Do you realize the two crooks that you caught stole approximately ''(holds up four fingers on the word &quot;four&quot;)'' four hundred dollars? ''(with intensifying rage)'' Do you realize that you did over three ''(and pounds the desk on the word &quot;million&quot;)'' '''''MILLION DOLLARS IN PROPERTY DAMAGE TO THAT BRIDGE?!''''' '''''IT'S NOT REPLACEABLE!''''' ''(a scared Blossom blinks up at him, and he sighs as he looks despondently out his window at the destroyed bridge, much calmer now, but still very upset)'' Also, that bridge is — or ''was'' — a historical landmark. ''(unfurling flag on pole)'' I mean, it's on our flag, for Pete's sakes! It's also the main thoroughfare into the city! ''(dropping flag)'' Nobody actually lives in Citiesville! ''(voice trailing into tears)'' They commute! ''(cries for a moment, then quickly pulls himself together to turn back and glare at the girls, holding up a piece of paper)'' This is a bill prohibiting the use of superpowers in the town of Citiesville. ''(signing it)'' You're hereby forbidden by law to use any of your powers within the city limits. ''(hands the document to the girls and points at the door, menacingly)'' Now, get out of my sight!

===Episode 2B.Child Fearing===
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Prepare your taste buds delight! For I, Mojo Jojo, am not only the number one villain in Townsville, but I am also...number one chef in Townsville!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Blarney the Sea Serpent''': ''[on television]'' If...I were a bunny I'd...HOP, HOP, HOP! HOP, HOP, HOP! HOP, HOP, HOP! HOP, HOP, HOP! ''[the Girls hop, shaking the floor and waking Mojo up]'' If...I were a rhino I'd...STOMP, STOMP, STOMP! STOMP, STOMP, STOMP! STOMP, STOMP, STOMP! ''[the Girls stomp, upsetting Mojo even more]'' If...I were a fish I would...SCREAM, SCREAM, SCREAM! SCREAM, SCREAM, SCREAM! SCREAM, SCREAM, SCREAM! ''[the Girls scream, making Mojo cover his ears in irritation]'' Okay, lads and lasses. Now let's all join in.
:''[The Girls look towards Mojo deviously]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[terrified]'' Oh no, no-! ''[they grab him]''
:'''Blarney the Sea Serpent''': ''[on television]'' If I were a log, I'd ROLL! ROLL! ROLL!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[as the Girls roll him across the floor]'' STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WAIT!
:'''Blarney the Sea Serpent''': ''[on television]''If I were a ball, I'd BOUNCE! BOUNCE! BOUNCE!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[as the Girls dribble him like a ball]'' HELP! I DO NOT LIKE THIS!
:'''Blarney the Sea Serpent''': ''[on television]'' If I were a rake, I'd RAKE! RAKE! RAKE! ''[the Girls take Mojo outside and rake the lawn with his teeth)'' If I were a hammer, I'd POUND! POUND! POUND! ''[the Girls slam Mojo upside-down onto a block of wood]'' If I were a candle, I'd...
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[annoyed]'' '''ENOOOOUUUUGH!!!''' I HAVE HAD IT!! ''[seizing the Girls and takes them upstairs]'' IT'S...TIME...FOR...'''BEEEEEED!!!''' ''[tosses them into bed]'' Whew! Finally, Mojo get peace.
:'''Buttercup''': Where are you going?
:''[Cut to the girls in bed, now wearing their nightgowns]''
:'''Bubbles''': Aren't you going to read us a story?
:'''Blossom''': We can't sleep without a story!
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah!
:''[We pull back to show Mojo at the doorway, crying and whimpering, his back to the girls. Then he turns around]''
:'''Mojo''': ''[begging]'' All right! ''[kneeling]'' But only if you go to sleep! ''[the girls nod and point toward the side of the bed. He sits down on a stool there]'' Very well, then. I will tell you my favorite story...ABOUT THE GREATEST CONQUEROR WHO EVER LIVED! [[w:Napoleon Bonaparte|Napoleon]]! ''[he envisions himself as Napoleon]'' He was a mighty man, feared by all who looked up to him. Using his genius and his loyal army, he conquered all of Europe, then all of Russia, and finally the whole world. The end.
:'''The Powerpuff Girls''': ''[sing-song voice]'' BO-RING!
:''[Mojo's vision is shattered]''
:'''Blossom''': Your story's all wrong! Napoleon's 1807 seizure of Portugal and the subsequent Rebellion by the Spaniards cost France over 300,000 casualties, untold sums of money, and contributed to the eventual weakening of the Napoleonic Empire! ''[whacks Mojo with her pillow]''
:'''Bubbles''': And your analysis on the Invasion of Russia is also incorrect! Napoleon's invasion of 1812 resulted in ''massive'' casualties of his troops, due to starvation and inclement conditions, and ended in a disastrous retreat from Moscow with his army ''defeated!'' ''[whacks Mojo with her pillow]''
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah, dummy! And when he returned to France, the Allied Nations of Europe united against him, which led to his eventual defeat at the Battle of Waterloo on June 18, 1815, whereafter he was exiled to the island of St. Helena, where he died a ''miserable'' death from stomach cancer on May 5, 1821, stupid! ''[whacks Mojo with her pillow]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Narrator''': If I were a narrator, I'd end this show! And so once again, the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!

===Episode 3.Criss Cross Crisis===
:'''Buttercup/Professor''': Bubbles, come on!
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': I'm not going!
:'''Blossom/Ms. Bellum''': What are you talking about?
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': ''[softly]'' I'm not going out there
:'''Buttercup/Professor''': ''(scoffs)'' Why not?
:''[Bubbles, in the Mayor's body, begins to sob]''
:'''Blossom/Ms. Bellum''': Well?
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': ''[turns on light and reveals bald spot]'' I'M BALD!!!
:'''Buttercup/Professor''': ''[scoffs]'' Ugh, you're so sensitive!
:'''Blossom/Ms. Bellum''': Don't be silly, you're not bald. You have plenty of hair, see? Look. ''[combs Bubbles in the Mayor's body's hair]'' There, now you look just like a normal person.
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': Really? Do I, Professor?
:'''Professor/Buttercup''': Uhm...yeah! You look great! Right, Mr. Mayor?
:'''Mayor/Bubbles''': Yeah, sure. Whatever
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': OK, let's go!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo/Old Lady''': ''[laughing evily]'' A priceless vase, and I have taken it for myself without paying! ''[hearing something]'' Hey, what's that sound? Oh, it's so familiar. Hmm, it's on the tip of my tongue. Ah, oh, of course, it's the... ''[getting tackled]'' Oh, The Powerpuff Girls!
:'''Girls/Ms. Bellum, Mayor, and Professor''': That's right, Mojo!
:'''Mojo Jojo/Old Lady''': Mojo? But I'm just an old lady!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo/Old Lady''': It's polyduranium fibroid, you can't break it. You're trapped and TOTALLY HELPLESS! ''[laughing evilly]''
:'''Girls/Ms. Bellum, Mayor, and Professor''': You forgot one thing, Mojo!
:'''Mojo Jojo/Old Lady''': What? ''[the girls hit him with a laser]'' Ow, oh, ow, ow...ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, oh, ow.

===Episode 4A.Bubblevision===
:'''Professor''': Bubbles, you look super.

===Episode 13A.Helter Shelter===
:'''Blossom''': All right, Bubbles! What animal do you have hiding in there?!
:'''Bubbles''': He's not an animal, ''[opens the door and shows a blue whale in their bedroom]'' he's a mammal!

===Episode 7A.Jewel of the Aisle===
:'''The Powerpuff Girls''': ''[Sing-song voice]'' Lucky Captain Rabbit King! Lucky Captain Rabbit King! Lucky Captain Rabbit King!
:'''Thief''': ''[disguised as Lucky Captain Rabbit King]'' All right, cool it down! Cool it down. Now, uh... ''[clears his throat]'' Listen up. The Captain and Tennille has a headache. I'm just here for some cereal, then I'll be on my way. ''[reaches for the box of Lucky Captain Rabbit King Nuggets]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[swipes thee cereal box]'' You think we're that stupid?
:'''Buttercup''': We know you have to try and trick us.
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah, just like in the commercials!
:'''Buttercup''': So don't come back until you've got something good! ''[slams the door in the thief's face. A moment later, the doorbell rings and she answers it]''
:'''Thief''': ''[in his fake deep voice]'' Hey, did you guys just see my twin brother?
:'''Buttercup''': ''[slams the door in his face again]'' Weak!

===Episode 7B.Super Zeroes===
:''[The Powerpuff Girls, inspired by their favorite superheroes from their comics, and calling themselves Liberty Belle, Harmony Bunny and Mange, are attempting to fight a monster, but are unable to harm it, much to the monster's annoyance]''
:'''Monster''': STOP!!
:'''Blossom''': What?
:'''Bubbles''': What?
:'''Buttercup''': Huh?
:'''Monster''': Better heroes, huh? Listen, girls. My name is Steve. I'm a monster. I've been coming here for three days causing all sorts of damage to your town, and what do I get? Two days of no-shows, and now this: A flag girl who does rope tricks, some rabbit, and Little Miss Darkness who's afraid of a little sun.
:'''Buttercup''': Hey, do you have any idea who you're talking to?
:'''Bubbles''': We're superheroes!
:'''Blossom''': Real ones!
:'''Steve the Monster''': You know, that's great and all. But, what am I supposed to tell all the guys back at Monster Isle? You see, when a monster visits Townsville, he must fight the Powerpuff Girls. And if he can hold his own and make it back to Monster Isle alive, he's a hero. Now, this new bit is just not gonna cut it. Sure, you didn't have a thirst for vengeance, stickers with faces on them, or souped-up vehicles, 'cause you didn't need them. You see, even if you take away the costumes, props and angst... ''[takes all of the Girls' costumes off, revealing them in their normal Powerpuff outfits]'' you still have all the bravery and courage it takes to save the day. So, what do you say, Powerpuff Girls?
:'''Blossom''': Let's get him!
:'''Steve the Monster''': Now, that's better.
:''[He gets beat up by the Girls]''
:'''Narrator''': So, once again, the day is saved...with no thanks to Liberty Belle, Harmony Bunny, or Mange...but to the one and only Powerpuff Girls!

===Episobe 12B.Meet the Beat-Alls===
:''[Opening shot of Townsville at night]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The city of Townsville. I hate you! I do not enjoy the fact that three superhero female children take up residence in you! ''[begins pacing]'' And by hurting me and forcing me to dwell in one of your correctional facilities, these mutant infant girls prevent me from obtaining political control of you! ''[stops pacing]'' But you will be mine, and they will most certainly-
:''[Cut to Him in his rotating chair]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Pay! I have been made a fool by you for the last time. But as they say, ''[rotating his chair]'' all good things must come to an end. And your end is-
:''[Scene changes to Princess Morbucks and her father]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': ''[talking to her father]'' Tonight! Think of it as an investment toward your future. ''[acting sweetly]'' If I don't destroy the Powerpuff Girls tonight, ''[suddenly shouting]'' I'LL NEVER GIVE YOU A DAY OF PEACE UNTIL I-
:''[Cut to Fuzzy trying to sing while playing with his banjo]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Doo...doo-doo-doo...doo-doo-doo-doo... ''[hits only wrong notes]'' Oh, I'm sorry, Jo. I can't play you purty tonight. I got them derned Powerpuffs in my noodle! And they make me so mad I wanna-
:''[Cut back to Mojo]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Destroy them, I will!''[stomping through the streets in his robot walker]'' Tonight is the night in which-
:''[Cut back to Him]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Your reign of goodness will end. ''[grows much taller]'' And my reign of ''[demonic voice]'' '''evil shall-'''
:''[Cut back to Princess, flying around with her jet thrusters]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Begin to take hold, as I take over-
:''[Cut back to Fuzzy, running around while carrying a large rock]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Townsville ain't gonna be no more after I get them Powerpuff-
:''[Cut to the Powerpuff Girls' bedroom]''
:'''Professor Utonium''': ''[off-screen]'' Girls, time for bed.
:''[The professor is seen, turning off the lights and closes the door. All was peaceful at night, until four villains showed up at the Powerpuff Girls' house unexpectedly]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Hey! What are y'all doing here?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Well, I'm here to destroy the Powerpuff Girls. And I can only assume that these two losers are here to watch a master at work.
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Listen, you pathethic primate! It is I who shall destroy the Powerpuff Girls, not you!''' ''[effeminate['' So, why not run along and have a banana?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh, that is a misconception! Just because I am a monkey does not mean I'm a banana addict!
:''[Him and Mojo begin to argue for seconds]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': ''[shouting]'' Quiet! Now, listen. It doesn't matter that you get all your little gadgets, or that you're the ultimate evil. All that matters is that I destroy the Powerpuff Girls! Which I will, because I have the most powerful power in the whole wide world. ''[takes out a stack of money]'' COLD HARD CASH!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': She has a point there.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Yes, she does.
:''[Pause]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': But, still!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Yeah!
:''[They resume arguing, along with Princess]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Hey, I wanna fight, too.
:''[He joins in the argument, but the girls woke up angrily, having enough of the argument, and fly out of their windows]''
:'''Bubbles''': ''[shouting]'' '''''SHUT UP!!!!'''''
:'''Blossom''': We're trying to sleep!
:'''Buttercup''': We'll kick your butts tomorrow.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': IT'S-
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' THE-
:'''Princess Morbucks''': GIRLS!
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': GET 'EM!
:''[Mojo fires laser beams from his robot, Him fires with his energy beam from his mouth, and Princess fires her blaster rays from her hands, hit the girls, causing them to scream in pain. The girls sink slowly to ground level in front of Fuzzy. He stands there for some moments, watching their torment, and his eyes finally turn up to the rock he is holding. He gathers his strength and hurls it; the camera follows it as it flies through the air in slow motion and lands squarely on them, sprawled out on the ground still screaming in agony before they are silenced by the rock landing on them. An eerie hush falls over the scene. Fade to black. Turn down to the four villains, staring in shock and disbelief. Quick shot of the rock on the front lawn, still pinning the girls, then back to the four]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Did we just do what I think we did?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Yes. Individually, we have failed time and again. But together, we are victorious!
:'''Princess Morbucks''': I propose we join forces, and merge into one super-villain conglomerate!
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup? We beat 'em? We beat all of 'em?
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' That's it! We will be known as...the Silver Beat-Alls!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No. Too fancy. We shall be known as...the Beat-Alls!
:''[All four smile wickedly, and the scene around their faces fades to black as the opening guitar riff of &quot;A Hard Day's Night&quot; is heard. The faces themselves are half-hidden in shadow and in black and white, a la the Beatles album With the Beatles, but the shadows are on the opposite half]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Cut to the group of screaming young girls, very frightened, different than screaming fans from the 1960s as the parody tune of A Hard Day's Night plays]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' Yes, screaming girls everywhere ran screaming whenever the Beat-Alls made the scene. ''[the foursome come into view and walk single file along a crosswalk, in a scene reminiscent of the Beatles' album Abbey Road]'' Individually, it had been a long and winding road. ''[they enter the National Trust Bank]'' But together, the Beat-Alls, or the &quot;Bad Four&quot;, as they were also known, had finally conquered Townsville.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[points his laser gun at the tellers]'' Now give me money! That's what I want!
:''[She piles cash on the counter]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' Their rise to fame can be attributed to their ability to deliver hit after hit after hit... ''[the girls arrive]'' ...to the Powerpuff Girls.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice'' Ah, I should have known better.
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' With Mojo Jojo on blaster rays...
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Better run for your lives if you can, little girls! ''[fires his laser gun at the girls, who cry out in pain as they are hit]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' The acidic spit stylings of Him...
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' Goo goo '''GOT YOU'''! ''[spits a beam at the Girls, who still cry out in pain]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' Princess accompanying Mojo on blasters...
:'''Princess Morbucks''': You say stop, but I say go, go, GO! ''[fires her blasters from her hands at the Girls, who cry out in pain the third time]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' And Fuzzy, the shy one...
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': ''[straining]'' I'm gonna let you down and leave you flat! ''[throws the rock and crushes the girls, silencing them]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' ...provides the rock. ''[the tellers regard the scene with fear, and the Beat Alls take a bow with their loot]'' Thus the Brutish Invasion had begun. ''[the girls are blasted and crushed as the parody tune of A Day in the Life plays]'' Again... ''[they're blasted and crushed again]'' and again... ''[they're blasted and crushed for the last time]'' and again... ''[the camera turns up to show the Beat-Alls leaning over a balcony railing and smiling down at their latest victory, reminiscent of the Beatles' album Please Please Me]'' ...the girls were defeated by the Beat Alls. ''[cut to an ornate room, looking out the open door. The girls are in the doorway, somehow completely unharmed]'' Till eventually, ''[they disappear]'' the girls stopped showing up entirely. ''[camera turns around quickly; we see a flash of a terrified crowd before the Beat-Alls are seen on a stage, pummeling a band whose members bear a striking resemblance to the Beatles]'' And the Beat Alls had a ticket to ride.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[to the audience]'' Will the people in the cheap seats, please leave! And the rest of you, hand over your jewelry!
:''[Hands holding watches, necklaces, and rings reach up into view. Cut to a quick succession of B&amp;W head shots of each villain in various goofy poses]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' Having finally bested the Powerpuff Girls, the Beat-Alls rushed to the top of the charts of the Most Wanted list. ''[four rows of five photos each, one villain per row, appear on the screen with the word &quot;WANTED&quot; above them. The scene cuts to the police station]'' When questioned, authorities had this to say.
:''[Close-up of a tall, white-mustached, ornately dressed policeman, who resembled to Old Fred from Yellow Submarine, at a podium, with microphones set up before him]''
:'''Sgt. Pepper''': Thank you. My name is Sergeant Pepper of the Townsville Police, and at the request of my commanding officers, I'd like to make this statement. ''[clearing throat, as the parody tune of Hey Bulldog begins]'' Help! We need somebody! Help! Not just anybody! Help! We need the Powerpuff Girls! ''[clearing throat again]'' Thank you.
:''[Cut to the reporter, who narrated the whole scene, outside the Powerpuff Girls' house]''
:'''Stuart Best''': So there you have it. The Beat-Alls have taken over; the girls have taken off. Will they return? Perhaps, perhaps not. But as they say, tomorrow never knows. I'm Stuart Best, and this has been A Day in the Life.
Buttercup: Ugh! Turn it off! ''[the TV is turned off]'' Who would make a stupid documentary about the Beat Alls, anyway?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Girls! Girls! I read the news today. Oh boy...
:'''Blossom''': ''[reading]'' 'Beat-Alls crash Mr Kite's benefit. Powerpuffs nowhere in sight.' So what?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Oh, girls...Yesterday all our troubles seemed so far away. Now it seems as though they're here to stay. Sitting here eight days a week, everyone seems to think you're lazy. I don't care, I think they're crazy. But you used to be running everywhere at such a speed! Now you think there's no need.
:'''Buttercup''': There isn't!
:'''Bubbles''': If we can't stop the Beat-Alls...
:'''Blossom''': We're never saving the day again.
:'''Professor Utonium''': Oh, you can't do that. What will Townsville do when they look for the girls with the sun in their eyes and they're gone?
:'''Blossom''': But what can we do?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Well, first of you have to realize that the Beat-Alls are just a rock band.
:'''Girls''': Huh?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Fuzzy, he does that- that- rock thing. But that's not important. What ''is'' important is this: Mojo Jojo was a man who thought he was a loner, but he knew it couldn't last. He's just getting by with a little help from his friends.
:'''Buttercup''': Are you saying we should try to break up the Beat-Alls?
:'''Bubbles''': Is that possible?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Sure. I'm certain that it happens all the time.
:'''Girls''': But how?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Listen: Do you want to know a secret? ''[whispers in the girls ears]''
:'''Narrator''': Sounds like the Professor has some magical mystery tricks up his sleeve!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Cut to the exterior of the Bank of the Imperial Garden. An alarm is going off. Inside, the Beat-Alls kick in the front door, ready to rob it clean like so many other banks they knocked off]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[aiming his laser gun]'' I want to hold your cash!
:'''Man''': ''[pointing]'' Too late. Somebody beat you to it.
:''[During the parody tune of I Want You (She's So Heavy), Mojo, dumbfounded, sees the teller shoveling cash into a bag,. His eyes turn upward, and we see a stepladder reaching almost to the ceiling, with a magnifying glass hanging nearby. He climbs the ladder for a closer look and finds some tiny writing over his head. Using the glass, he finds these words: &quot;This is A Stick up!&quot;]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[softly]'' Brilliant! ''[jumping down, normal tone]'' Who is responsible for this?! Who is behind such a unique and innovative approach to committing... ''[the figure at the counter, turns around, facing Mojo. It is a female monkey, with a pink face, long black hair, and white clothes]'' crimes? ''[during the parody tune of Strawberry Fields Forever, smiling Alternate between close-ups of the female robber and Mojo four times. The attraction is written all over his face; hers never wavers from its enigmatic smile]'' I've got to get you into my life! ''[she lets loose a scream at eardrum-piercing levels]'' I love you too!
:''[The other three Beat-Alls, at the front door, watch with some concern]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice, clapping claw to forehead]'' Oh, no!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[walking up with female]'' Hey, guys, this is Moko Jono. She’s a performance criminal, and she’s conceived some brilliant schemes that I think we should try.
:''[The other three trade a very worried look at what this new addition might mean for their group]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[We dissolve to all five of them, the Beat-Alls plus Moko, lying side by side in a king-size bed with a white blanket over them. Mojo's blue tunic has been replaced by a white one, and his braincap now sports white accents at its base]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Uh, why are we doin' this again?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': It's called &quot;Annoyance Crime Number Nine.&quot; Our concept is this. Imagine all the people- ''[pull back overhead; the bed is in the middle of an intersection, with traffic backed up in all directions. We hear horns honking]'' and how annoyed they’ll be that they can’t reach their destinations on time!
:''[Close-up of the group. Mojo and Moko laugh at the idea, but the others are not too enthused]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Cut to a quick succession of close-ups of the following items on store shelves: eggs, toilet paper, milk, light bulbs, and flour. Each is quickly snatched up; cut to a side view of the quintet going down a supermarket aisle, with a shopping cart full of these groceries with the parody tune of The Ballad of John and Yoko. Mojo and Moko push the cart while the other three carry armloads of items. We see that Mojo's cape matches his white tunic]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': So tell us again why we're only stealing toilet paper, light bulbs, milk, flour, and eggs.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Well, Moko's idea is that stealing items that are all white isn't against the law. So it's okay to take them.
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Huh?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': It's all right 'cause they're all white!
:''[Princess sighs in disgust, Him looks very annoyed, and Fuzzy drops his load]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mojo and his new girlfriend, Moko Jono, are both screeching loudly. Him, Princess and Fuzzy are covering their ears]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Mojo?! Mojo?! ''[demonic voice]'' '''MOJO!'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': WHAT?!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' I still don't get it!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The louder you yell, the more pain it causes the listener! ''[six shots of Townsville citizens, including four guys resembling the Beatles from Yellow Submarine, covering their ears]'' AND! THEIR! PAIN! IS! OUR! PLEASURE!!!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''UGH! MOJO, ''YOU'RE'' THE PAIN!'''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN!
:'''Princess Morbucks''': WE QUIT!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': WHAT?!
:'''Him, Princess and Fuzzy''': ''WE QUIT!''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': GOOD, GOOD! BUT EVEN LOUDEEEEER!
:''[Him, Princess and Fuzzy leave in annoyance]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Now what do we do?
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate and demonic voice]'' Let's [[w:Get Back|get back to where we once belonged]].

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[At home, the hotline begins to buzz]''
:'''Blossom: Yes, Mayor.
:''[Cut to the Mayor’s office. He is on the hotline. Through the window behind him we see Princess, Him, and Fuzzy on a rooftop, deploying their respective weapons on the town below]''
:'''Mayor''': The Beat-Alls are up on the rooftops, and they're destroying Townsville! They just won't let it be!
:'''Blossom''': ''[nervously]'' The...Beat-Alls?
:'''Mayor''': Well, three of them, at least. ''[they hang up]'' Uh, hello?...Girls?...Oh...
:''[Behind him, the girls fly into view and pull Fuzzy's rock out of his hands. Cut to the rooftop; they confront the trio, the sun silhouetting them]''
:'''Blossom''': Hey, Beat-Alls!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Why, girls! Hello! ''[demonic voice]'' GOODBYE! ''[spits a beam, hitting and pushing them down toward the street]''
:'''Princess Morbucks: Sorry, but it's time to go! ''[fires her blaster at them, pushing them down farther]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Cry, babies, cry! ''[drops a rock on them and connects once again]''
:'''Him: ''[effeminate voice'' I'd just like to say thank you on behalf of the group, and hope we passed the audition.
:'''Blossom''': ''[suddenly flies up]'' Sorry, guys.
:'''Buttercup''': ''[flies up]'' There's just-
:'''Bubbles''': ''[flies up]'' Something missing.
:''[Him, Princess, and Fuzzy are in full shock]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': See how they fly? ''[covering face]'' I'm crying!
:''[The girls close in]''
:'''Blossom''': You sure will be! ''[Buttercup takes on Fuzzy, Bubbles thumps Princess, and Blossom makes short work of Him. Cut to a jail cell, where the three have been deposited in a heap, looking much worse for wear after the girls got through with them; the door slams shut on them. Pull back to bring the girls into view outside the cell, along with Sergeant Pepper]'' They're going nowhere, man! ''[they take off]'' Three down, one to go!
:''[They fly off]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Cut to the city street, Mojo and Moko walk toward the camera, hand in hand, but stop short. Mojo looks up in surprise]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[gasping]'' Look! ''[high overhead, we see a white billboard on the side of a building. It displays four words in huge letters: &quot;BEAT-ALLS ARE OVER.&quot; He looks frantically around, only to find the same message wherever he turns, even on the front page of the day’s newspaper]'' Here! There! EVERYWHERE! ''[uneasily, to Moko]'' I've got a feeling, a feeling deep inside, a feeling I can't hide. ''[in a small voice]'' Oh, no.
:'''Girls''': ''[appear before him]'' Oh, yeah!
:'''Blossom''': You're finished, Mojo, and so are the Beat-Alls!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': I don’t need them! ''[taking Moko's hands]'' Now that I've found Moko, our evil shall spread across the universe!
:'''Blossom''': ''[sighs, then calling out to Judy]'' Hey, Jude!
:'''Judy''': ''[appears]'' Hi, girls.
:'''Blossom''': This is Judy. She’s from the Townsville Zoo.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': So?
:'''Blossom''': Okay, Judy. Do your stuff.
:'''Judy''': ''[brings out a &quot;cricket&quot; noisemaker, and snaps with it]'' Michelle. Here, girl. Michelle.
:'''Mojo''': Michelle? Who’s this Michelle? Moko, do you- ''[screams and recoils in fright; a moment later, we pan down to Moko, who has undergone a remarkable transformation. Her white clothes lie discarded around her on the sidewalk, and the long fur on her head is gone. She is now an ordinary-looking monkey with a little bit of makeup. Moko, a.k.a. Michelle, runs down the block to Judy and the girls, stopping to play with one of Bubbles' pigtails and making her way to each of the others in turn]''
:'''Bubbles''': ''[giggling]'' Her name's Michelle.
:'''Blossom''': She lives at the zoo.
:'''Buttercup''': And she agreed to help us stop you.
:'''Mojo''': (in a small voice) Agreed?
:'''Judy''': ''[now holing Michelle]'' She doesn't like you or the fact that you're always destroying Townsville. She said you're giving monkeys a bad name.
:''[Michelle screeches and chatters angrily]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': So...she's not a performance criminal?
:'''Blossom''': Well, I don't know about &quot;criminal&quot;...
:'''Buttercup''': But she is a performer.
:'''Bubbles''': She plays piano!
:'''Judy''': But remember, girls. Someday monkey won't play piano song, play piano song. See you, girls. ''[walks away with Michelle]''
:'''Girls''': Bye!
:'''Blossom''': Now, Mojo, it’s time for a Beat-Alls reunion at Townsville Jail!
:''[We cut to the girls in flight; Buttercup is holding Mojo up by his cape]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[dejected]'' But you took my love away.
:'''Blossom''': Well, it’s like the song goes; the love you take is equal to...equal...to...oh, who cares? It's by some dumb old band, anyway.
:''[They fly off]''
:'''Narrator''': I don't really want to stop the show, but I thought you might like to know ''[the standard end shot comes up]'' that once again the day is saved! Thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!
:''[The music strikes a final, resounding chord that slowly dies away]''

==Season 4==
===Him Diddle Riddle [4.1]===
:''[After the girls solve the first riddle]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Congratulations! One down, eight to go. And remember, you must solve these riddles within the time limit. Fail in any aspect and ''[demonic voice]'' '''the Professor will pay!'''
:'''Buttercup''': You tell us where the Professor is, Him!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Ah-ah-ah. You've brought joy to the people for so many years. Now to their eyes, you must bring tears. ''[demonic]'' '''You've got two minutes.'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the second riddle]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Very clever! Oh, you got that one without trying. Now do this without flying! Go to the corner of Chang and Ching, there on the street the phone will ring. What then, you might ask? Answer the phone to get your next task. ''[demonic]'' '''You've got three minutes!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the third riddle]''
:'''Blossom''': We did it, Him. Now what?
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Well, well. Presidential Fitness Awards all around. ''[demonic]'' '''Now let's excercise your brain!''' ''[effeminate]'' Train A left Pokey Oaks train station at 11:40 at a hundred miles per hour. Train B left Norwalk Station 10 minutes later at 90 miles per hour heading towards Train A. ''[demonic]'' '''Where will they collide?'''
:'''Bubbles''': Math?! I hate math!
:'''Blossom''': Bubbles! Think of the Professor!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' You've got one minute!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;  
:''[Blossom is doing math on an abacus after Him tells her that she's got 1 minute]''
:'''Buttercup''': Can't you abacus any faster?
:'''Blossom''': &quot;Abacus&quot; my butt!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the fourth riddle]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Well, girls, you caught these two trains right on time.
:'''Blossom''': We're finished with this nonsense, Him! Now where's the Professor?
:'''Him''': But I've only just started! In the ear of corn, you will find happiness, joy, and the ties that bind. Squirrels store nuts and birds sing songs, but in the Cave of Eternity, everyone's wrong. On the limb of a tree, there's a monkey who's free, and there he will give you something for me. ''[demonic]'' '''You've got two minutes; 45 seconds!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the fifth riddle, which ironically, took place during the commercial break. The girls are panting from exhaustion as Him licks an ice cream]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' I can't believe you got that one right! ''[resumes licking]'' You got the right flavor and everything! ''[resumes licking]''
:'''Blossom''': We'd go to the ends of the Earth for the Professor!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Touching.''' ''[effeminate]'' Now here's something I hope you'll really enjoy!
:''[Two Ms. Keanes are tied in a rope, hanging on top of a vat of boiling sharks]''
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': Ms. Keane!
:'''Him''': Yes'm! The real Ms. Keane will tell you the truth. The fake one will tell you a lie. Discover which is your beloved teacher and she'll be saved. Fail, and they both will be dropped into this vat of boiling sharks.
:'''Ms. Keanes''': Girls, help!
:'''Him''': You may ask them only one question. So make it count! ''[demonic]'' '''45 seconds! Go!'''
:'''Bubbles''': This one’s easy! All we have to do is ask which one is the real Ms. Keane.
:'''Blossom''': Not quite, Bubbles. The one that lies will just tell us she’s the real Ms. Keane.
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah, don’t be stupid, Bubbles. I’ll just ask which one wants a knuckle sandwich!
:'''Blossom''': Same problem, Buttercup. We need a question they’ll have to answer differently.
:'''Bubbles''': I know, I know! Let’s ask what their favorite color is.
:'''Buttercup''': And just where will that get us?
:'''Bubbles''': I bet it'd be nice to know.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Not so easy, is it? ''[demonic]'' '''Time’s running out.''' 
:'''Blossom''': Ooh, ooh! I know, I know! Ms. Keanes... who will the other Ms. Keane say is the real Ms. Keane?
:''[The two Keanes exchange a nervous glance]''
:'''Keane 2''': She would say that I was the real Ms. Keane!
:'''Keane 1''': And she would say that she was the real Ms. Keane!
:'''Blossom''': It’s so apparent! It’s obvious that the liar would say that the real Ms. Keane would say that the fake Ms. Keane is the real Ms. Keane. And conversely, the real Ms. Keane would say that the fake Ms. Keane would say she is the real Ms. Keane. So therefore, the real Ms. Keane is none other than... number two! ''[Bubbles and Buttercup look at Him who is stunned]''
:'''Him''': ''[shrugs]'' She’s right.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the sixth riddle]''
:'''Blossom''': Bring on the next riddle, evil dude! I'm smoking!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''You think you're so smart?''' ''[makes himself and the girls appear at Pokey Oaks Kindergarten classroom; effeminate]'' Then let's see how good you are on the SAT's!
:''[Bubbles and Buttercup glare at Blossom]''
:'''Him''': Considering your educational level, you must collectively score 100 points. ''[demonic]'' '''You have one minute. Begin.'''
:''[Buttercup chews nervously on her pencil, Blossom breezes by it, Bubbles start to fill in the scan-tron in the shape of a flower]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Time's up! Put your #2 pencils down and pass your papers forward. Let's start with Buttercup's results, shall we?
:''[Ding]''
:'''Him''': 25.
:'''Blossom''': Haha!
:'''Him''': Next, Blossom's.
:''[Ding]''
:'''Him''': 10.
:'''Blossom''': What?!
:'''Buttercup''': Ha!
:'''Him''': And finally, Bubbles. 
:''[Holds up test]''
:'''Blossom''': Oh, no...
:'''Buttercup''': The Professor's a goner!
:''[Bubbles' score is 1075, much to everyone's surprise]''
:'''Blossom''': Huh?
:'''Buttercup''': Huh?
:'''Him''': Huh?
:'''Bubbles''': Ha!
:'''Him''': Well, I'll be darned. ''[demonic]'' '''You will not defeat me, you little brats! The Professor ''will'' pay!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the seventh riddle, a lizard monster appears in the city]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Let's see if you can defeat this monster.
:'''Blossom''': No problem.
:'''Him''': Ah-ah-ah. You didn't let me finish. You must get rid of this little guy without using your superpowers.
:'''Blossom''': Again, no problem.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the eighth riddle]''
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''NO!!! You brats shouldn't have gotten this far!'''
:'''Blossom''': One riddle left, Him, and the Professor is good as ours!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' We'll see, won't we? You will find your Professor when you solve this last rhyme: &quot;Where is boiling and freezing at the same time?&quot;. ''[Laughs]'' The Professor ''[demonic]'' '''''will'' pay!''' ''[effeminate]'' 30 seconds.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the final riddle, they confront Him at the Otto Time Restaurant, where the Professor is also at]''
:'''Blossom''': They're at the at the Otto Time Diner! ''[looks at the clock]'' And we're out of time! ''[The girls bust through the door]'' Okay, Him! Hand over the Professor!
:'''Professor''': Girls!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Too late, girls. You failed. ''[demonic]'' '''The Professor is going to pay!''' ''[laughs]''
:'''Professor''': No!
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': Professor...
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Time to pay.''' ''[suddenly rings up a cash register; effeminate]'' That'll be 7.95, please.
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': ''[stunned]'' Say wha...?!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' You see, I bet the Professor here a free breakfast if you girls could solve all my riddles. But you failed. ''[demonic]'' '''And now he has to pay full price!'''
:'''Professor''': Here's your money, Him. Your flapjacks are good, but not that good. I'm never eating here again! Come on, girls. Let's go eat at the other restaurant.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Wait! Wait, come back! I'll make my flapjacks cheaper!
:'''[The Powerpuff Girls stare at the camera, stunned and confused]''
:'''Narrator''': ''[just as confused]'' And so...hmm...ugh... yeah.

===Flim Flam [4.2]===

===All Chalked Up [4.3]===
:'''Bubbles''': Huh?...Hey! You erased my drawing!
:'''Mitch''': Um...sorry. ''[Buttercup now stands nearby]''
:'''Buttercup''': What are you apologizing for?! She shouldn’t draw her stupid pictures on the blacktop if she doesn’t want ’em played on!
:'''Bubbles''': I have every right that you do to be here!
:'''Buttercup''': Oh, yeah?! Well, I don’t—
:'''Bubbles''': I don’t care what you think!
:'''Buttercup''': A playground is for playing!
:'''Bubbles''': And drawing is playing, you ninny!
:''[They start to argue at full voice, and other kids turn to watch. Blossom does likewise]''
:'''Blossom''': Huh?
:'''Children''': Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
:''[As they chant, they gather in a ring around the two squabbling sisters. Blossom, floating behind the group, moves in for a closer look and then pushes her way to the front]''
:''[Blossom breaks up a fight between Bubbles and Buttercup over drawing over a playground]''
:'''Blossom''': All right, break it up, break it up! What's going on here?
:'''Bubbles''': Well, she started it!
:'''Buttercup''': She was the one drawing all over the place!
:''[Buttercup and Bubbles resume arguing with each other]''
:'''Blossom''': SHUT UP! ''[Bubbles and Buttercup stop arguing]'' Bubbles, you first.
:'''Bubbles''': Well, I was just minding my own business, drawing--
:'''Buttercup''': You see?
:'''Blossom''': Buttercup, let Bubbles finish!
:'''Mitch''': Just fight already!
:'''Bubbles''': Buttercup has to share the blacktop just like everyone else.
:'''Blossom''': That sounds fair to me.
:'''Buttercup''': ''[losing it]'' No way! I'm not sharing nothing! This is the playground! There's plenty of paper in the classroom! She doesn't need to fill the blacktop with her scribbles! You know what I think of Bubbles and her drawings?! YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?!! ''[Destroys Bubbles' chalk by crushing it]'' That's what I think.
:''[Bubbles looks down at the fragments and drops to her knees, her head bowed in sadness. A moment later, she lifts her face, now rearranged into an expression of raw anger. Cut to behind her as she slowly rises to her feet and Buttercup smirks at her. We hear her breathing hard, and in a close-up, she is sweating buckets and looking as if about to go over the edge once and for all. She snarls and reaches toward her sister as if to strike her, but the fury evaporates in an instant, unable to bring herself to do it. It is replaced by a desperate struggle to keep her composure, whimpering as her wobbling mouth and the tears leaking from her tightly closed eyes readily attest. After several seconds of unbearable tension, her self-control completely shatters and she explodes. The camera follows her as she flees the scene and heads into the woods, crying all the while. Overhead view of a tree stump in a small clearing. She flies in and collapses by it, face down on its surface, to cry herself out]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bubbles is exploring a magical, colorful world of chalk]''
:'''Bubbles''': Oh, I love each and every one of you! What is this magical place?
:''[A butterfly, with Him's face on it, appears; Bubbles doesn't recognize Him]''
:'''Him''': ''[speaking in a crossover between a squeaky voice and his effeminate voice]'' We've been waiting a long time for you, Bubbles.
:'''Bubbles''': You have?
:'''Him''': Oh, yes! We've been waiting for the perfect time to welcome you to our world!
:'''Bubbles''': How long have you been here?
:'''Him''': As long as you have had imagination. And as you can see, we have a present for you.
:''[He reveals a chalk box]''
:'''Bubbles''': The chalk!
:'''Him''': Yes, the chalk. And you can help us make our world even more beautiful!
:'''Bubbles''': Ah, shucks. I couldn't do that.
:'''Him''': Oh, yes, you can! Isn't that right, friends? All we need is your imagination!
:''[He makes himself and Bubbles appear in a blackboard]''
:'''Bubbles''': Where are we?
:'''Him''': The whole world is your canvas. And here, you can draw anything you want with your magical chalk! Try it.
:'''Bubbles''': But what do I draw?
:'''Him''': Draw anything you feel. Draw what makes you happy.
:'''Bubbles''': Hmm. What makes me happy? ''[She draws a flower on the board]'' There! How's that?
:'''Him''': Good! But now, watch. ''[The flower grows more large petals]'' Draw some more. More happy things!
:''[Bubbles draws on the board a bird's nest on a tree with a mother bird on the nest]''
:'''Bubbles''': There!
:'''Him''': Look! ''[The eggs hatch into baby birds]'' See what your imagination can do? Draw, draw! ''[Bubbles draws a beach with a sunset, seagulls and a school of fish]'' Well, what do you think?
:'''Bubbles''': I've never drawn prettier things! They light up my life!
:'''Him''': Well, there's more to it than just happy little drawings.
:'''Bubbles''': What do you mean?
:'''Him''': Artists draw all of their feelings.
:'''Bubbles''': Like a happy feeling.
:'''Him''': Well, not just happy feelings. Haven't you ever been frustrated, sad? How about angry?
:'''Bubbles''': No.
:'''Him''': No?
:'''Bubbles''': Never.
:'''Him''': Never?
:'''Bubbles''': No!
:'''Him''': No?
:'''Bubbles''': No, never!
:''[She suddenly realizes she's becoming angry and covers her mouth]''
:'''Him''': Aha! It's okay to be angry, and it's important to express it. Let's wipe the state clean. ''[The beach drawing disappears]'' Now, remember when Buttercup destroyed your chalk at the playground?
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah, that wasn't very fair.
:'''Him''': That's right! Now get your chalk. Let's draw that feeling.
:'''Bubbles''': What does it look like?
:'''Him''': Draw a big scribble. Hard and fast. More! More! Harder, faster! ''[Bubbles does as she has been told]'' How does that make you feel?
:'''Bubbles''': Better, I guess.
:'''Him''': Good! Now draw some more. Draw how Buttercup made you feel. Who is she to tell you what to do? Push her around? Feel your anger. ''[Bubbles, feeling her anger, draws monsters on the blackboard]'' Did you get all your anger out?
:'''Bubbles''': Yes! ''[Pants]'' I had no idea I could express myself like that.
:'''Him''': Neither did I.
:''[Him vanishes]'' 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[As the chalk monsters attack Pokey Oaks Kindergarten]''
:'''Blossom''': EVERYONE GET INSIDE!! ''[All the kids run into the classroom. A giant chalk turtle smashes the classroom's roof]'' EVERYONE GET OUTSIDE!!
:''[The kids run back outside]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[As the girls try to defeat the monsters by erasing them with erasers, but to no avail]''
:'''Bubbles''': He can't do that!
:''[Him, still in the form of a butterfly, appears; Bubbles still does not recognize Him]''
:'''Him''': ''[squeaky and effeminate voice]'' I think he can.
:'''Bubbles''': Oh! Thank goodness you're here! I drew all these monsters and they came to life. But now you're here and you can help.
:'''Him''': But why would I help you, when this whole thing was ''[instantly transforms into his normal form; demonic voice]'' '''MY idea?!'''
:'''Bubbles''': ''[Gasps]'' It was you! You made me do this!
:'''Him''': ''[putting his arm around Bubbles; effeminate]'' Au contaire. I just provided the chalk.
:'''Blossom''': You leave Bubbles alone!
:'''Him''': It was ''you'' who draw monsters! 
:'''Bubbles''': Get your claws off me!
:''[She releases himself from Him's grasp]''
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''That's good!''' ''[effeminate]'' Express that anger, just like before! Remember how good it felt?
:'''Bubbles''': Okay, I will!
:'''Blossom and Buttercup''': No, Bubbles, wait! ''[Bubbles uses her chalk and eraser to turn the chalk turtle into a happier turtle, much to Him's shock]'' Go, Bubbles!
:''[Bubbles then uses the chalk to turn all the other monsters into happy drawings. Him is enraged]''
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''No! No! NO!!'''
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': All right!
:'''Him''': '''You can't do that! You're supposed to express your anger!'''
:'''Bubbles''': I am. I'm just expressing it in a positive way. And I think you were more positive when you were a cute...little...butterfly! ''[Uses her chalk to draw on Him, turning him into a butterfly, embarrassing Him]'' What do you think?
:'''Blossom''': Oh, yes.
:'''Buttercup''': Much better.
:''[Him, humiliated and defeated, becomes enraged]''
:'''Him''': '''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!'''
:''[He vanishes, defeated]''

===Get Back, Jojo [4.4]===

===Members Only [4.5]===
:'''Mascumax''': Men of Earth! Witness the coming of... MASCUMAX! Breaker of men! Taker of worlds! Be there any true men amongst thee?! Step forth and bring thy manhood against mine own, so that we might see who has the upper hand upon the measuring stick!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mascumax has been defeating the male superheroes easily]''
:'''Mascumax''': Fools! I feed off your expulsions of manliness! The more manhood you bring against me, the harder I become!
:'''Blossom''': Hey, buff! Why don't you try some Powerpuff?
:'''Mascumax''': What? Little girls?! ''[laughs]'' Shouldn't you be home learning how to be mommies?!
:'''Buttercup''': Ugh, ''this'' stuff again?
:'''Blossom''': Look, this planet is our home, and mommies are ready to clean house!
:''[They land several successful blows on Mascumax and knock him down]''
:'''Blossom''': All right, ladies, let's do some ''real'' cookin'! Form Furious Flaming Feline!
:''[The girls form a cat-like shape made of fire, which leaps at Mascumax, setting him on fire, and rubs against his leg]''
:'''Mascumax''': AAAAAAAARGH!!! NOOOOOOO, IT CANNOT BEEEE!!!
:'''Blossom''': If you can't take the heat, then stay out of the kitchen!
:''[Mascumax chickens out, transforming back into hotrod mode and flying back into space]''
:'''Mascumax''': ''[sobbing]'' WAAAAAHAHAHAAA!!! MOMMY, THERE WAS SOME GIRLS, AND THEY WERE BEING MEAN TO ME!!!

===Nano to the North [4.6]===

===Stray Bullet [4.7]===
:''[The Powerpuff Girls induct their new member]''
:'''Blossom''' : May I have your attention, please!  Friends!  Family!  Esteemed colleagues!  We are gathered here today for a momentous occasion!  Bubbles, translate.
:'''Bubbles''': Oh yeah. Cheep cheep, cheep cheep. Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep.
:'''Blossom''': Today, for the first time ever . . .
:'''Bubbles''': Cheep, cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . we have discovered an individual . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . . cheep cheep, cheep cheep cheep cheep, cheep cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . whose bravery . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . . cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . strength . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . .cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . and agility . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . . cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . have proven her worthy to be a member of our exclusive organization . . .
:'''The Powerpuff Girls''': THE POWERPUFF GIRLS!
:'''Bubbles''': CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP! Hey, Professor! Clap!
:'''Professor Utonium''': Hm? Oh, uh, yay!
:'''Blossom''': And so, dubbed with the appropriate 'B' name . . .
:'''Bubbles''': Cheep cheep, cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Buttercup''': Bruce begins with a B!
:'''Blossom''': Shh! . . . I hereby dub thee . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . . cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . Powerpuff Bullet!
:'''Bubbles''': . . . Cheep cheep --- Cheep cheep!
:'''Professor Utonium''': Woo hoo, yeah! [hoots] Ha ha ha, yeah! [hoots]

===Forced Kin [4.8]===
:''[The invading robot has repeatedly outsmarted Mojo, defeated the Girls, and wrecked much of Townsville, including Mojo's volcano laboratory]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No! My laboratory, home to all my evil plans and devices... destroyed!
:'''Robot''': Earth creatures, the destruction of your dwelling area is now complete. I am now your new leader.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[shaking with shock and outrage]'' NOOOOOO! That is ''my'' line! ''I've'' always wanted to say that!
:'''Robot''': And you will now bow down to me. ''[Townsville's people are shown bowing]'' Yes, just like that.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No! No! '''NOOOO...!!!''' 
:''[Mojo's eyes pop and glow, and he goes completely berserk, prancing around, gibbering and shrieking like a wild chimpanzee as the robot watches]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[eyes glowing again]'' '''YOU!!! HAVE!!! BROKEN!!! MY!!! ''DREEEEAMS!!!'''''
:''[He leaps at the robot, delivering several powerful punches, finally knocking it down with a blow to the head with the loaf of bread from Miguel's Market. He then pulls its lower leg back, making it cry out in pain and pound the ground]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Say it! SAY IT! '''SAY IT!!!'''
:'''Robot''': ''YOU'' ARE THE MOST EVIL! ''[collapses again]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': And don't you forget it!

===Knock it Off [4.9]===
:'''Professor Utonium''': When were you in New York?
:'''Blossom''': Yesterday.
:'''Buttercup''': (&lt;i&gt;whispering&lt;/i&gt;) No, today.
:'''Blossom''': I mean... today.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': What happened to Professor Dick and the other Powerpuff Girls?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Well, Old Dick may have gotten the formula right, but the one ingredient that he forgot was &quot;love&quot;. Let's go home, girls.
:'''Professor Dick''': (&lt;i&gt;screaming while dying&lt;/i&gt;) '''NNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!'''

===Super Friends [4.10]===
:''[The girls introduce their new friend Robin to Professor Utonium]''
:'''Bubbles:''' He made us in his laboratory by accident.
:'''Professor:''' Yes, uh... well, it was sort of an accident...
:'''Robin:''' That's okay, Professor. I was an accident, too! ''(his eyes widen)'' Your dad is funny!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess:''' Hey girls, let me be a Powerpuff Girl for a day and you could ride in Daddy's limo with me to school!
:'''Blossom:''' No thanks, Princess. We'd rather walk with our new friend, Robin, to school.
:'''Princess:''' Very well then. You obviously don't know a thing about first class travel...... how 'bout 5 bucks?
:'''Blossom:''' ''[Resting her hands on her hips]'' Would that be 5 bucks to ride in your limo, or 5 bucks to be a Powerpuff Girl?

===Keen on Keane [4.11a]===

===Not So Awesome Blossom [4.11b]===
:[''During a battle between Blossom and one of Mojo's robots'']
:'''Blossom''': Okay! It's just you and me! Let's see what you got!
:[''She blows a raspberry at the robot'']
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''The Professor read's Mojo's note over the hotline'']
:'''Professor''': &quot;Bubbles, Buttercup or whichever of the two remaining Powerpuff Girls has answered the hotline, listen closely. Pay attention. Consentrate intently on the words coming from my mouth. I, the Professor, am being held prisoner. I am being kept against my will in a location not of my choosing. If you desire my safe return you must...&quot; Oh, excuse me. Could you please move you finger?
:'''Mojo''': Sorry.
:'''Professor''': Thank you. &quot;...come to the lair of Mojo Jojo together, not alone. Indepently...&quot;
:'''Buttercup''': I think we need to go to Mojo's and save the Professor.
:'''Bubbles''': Again?!

===Power-Noia [4.12]===
:''[Blossom is trapped in a dream world of Pokey Oaks Kindergarten with an evil version of Ms. Keane and the schoolchildren, trying to make Blossom fail to answer questions. Ms. Keane suddenly starts laughing in Him's voice, and she and the schoolchildren suddenly turn into small copies of Him. Blossom makes the connection and becomes determined to face her fear]''
:'''Blossom''': ENOUGH! ''[Him/Ms. Keane and the schoolchildren stop laughing]'' Next question.
:'''Him/Ms. Keane''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Sure, next question. ''[demonic voice]'' '''What is the square root of seven?!'''
:''[Him and the schoolchildren laugh]''
:'''Blossom''': Seven doesn't have a square root. It's prime! 
:''[Everyone stops laughing]''
:'''Him/Ms. Keane''': '''That is...''' ''[effeminate]'' correct. What is the algebric formula for determining the area of a triangle?
:'''Blossom''': Half the base times height!
:'''Him/Ms. Keane''': That's correct. If a train leaves Boston at 12:30pm traveling at 75 miles per hour, and another train leaves Los Angeles at the same time traveling at 90 miles per hour... ''[demonic]'' '''which one will get to Cuba first?'''
:'''Blossom''': Neither! Trains don't go to Cuba, &quot;Ms. Keane&quot;!
:'''Him/Ms. Keane''': ''[effeminate]'' Well, how perspective of you. Oh, well. ''[throws question cards away; demonic]'' '''Tests bore me. You think you're so smart, don't you?'''
:'''Blossom''': I outsmarted you, didn't I?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After overcoming their greatest fears, the Powerpuff Girls finally confront Him, in the form of a giant, multiple-headed, multiple-tenctacled crossover of a crab and spider]''  
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Oh, Blossom! You're always so logical! How droll! ''[giggles evilly]'' Here I am! Sorry it took me so long. I wanted to slip into something more...sinister! You have been such good fun, but now you're starting to bore me. And I'm afraid playtime is over! I ''[demonic]'' '''know your deepest, darkest fear.''' ''[effeminate]'' You are afraid ''[demonic]'' '''YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME!!'''
:'''Blossom''': Let's teach him a lesson!
:'''Buttercup''': Whatever! That guy's toast!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Two heads are better than one! 
:''[The girls and Him fight each other in a large fierce battle. Eventually, Him loses the battle, and is beaten up by the girls, turning him back into his normal form and size. The girls look at a scared Him, pleading for his life]'' 
:'''Him''': Please! No more! Don't hurt me! I don't understand. ''[demonic]'' '''I was so close!''' ''[effeminate]'' I almost had you! You are supposed to be afraid!
:'''Blossom''': Guess you should've done your homework, weirdo!
:'''Bubbles''': We're sisters and we love each other!
:'''Blossom''': And we're not afraid of anything as long as we have each other.
:'''Buttercup''': Gimme a break, you two! Yab-yab-yab! Can I toss this guy, already?
:''[Pause]''
:'''Blossom''': Oh, okay.
:'''Him''': No, wait! It's cool! It's cool! Everything's cool! ''[Buttercup, not listening to Him's pleading, punches Him in the face, causing Him to fall into a black hole of nothingness]'' NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

==Season 5==
===See Me, Feel Me, Gnomey [5.6]===
:'''Bossman''': ''[Singing]'' Townsville's goin' down! I'm gonna throw this paper on the ground!
:'''The Mayor''': ''[Singing]'' The babies can grow, and the little old folks, can walk real slooo-ho!
:'''Professor''': ''[Repeated line, singing]'' Do the people have to be freedom beef?
:'''The Gnome''': ''[The only unsung words in the entire episode, falling down to his demise]'' As I descend to the Earth, and I view the universe above me, I realize that life revolves, evolves, and dissolves, completely around the opposites. Therefore, I conclude that I cannot exist in my Utopian... ''[Closes his eyes]'' mind... ''[Hits the ground]''

==='Twas the Fight Before Christmas===
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Who would want a stupid old BB gun? 
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': ''[gasped]'' Princess!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Besides, you'll shoot your eye out. ''(cut to her)'' Since my daddy buys me anything I want, I only have one thing on my list for Santa: to be a Powerpuff Girl!
:'''Blossom:''' ''[to Princess]'' Don't hold your breath, Princess.
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' What? Why?!
:'''Bubbles''': Because Santa has his own list, and he checks it twice. It says who's naughty and who's nice.
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' So?
:'''Bubbles''': Duh! You're naughty!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[gasps]'' Nuh-uh!
:'''Blossom:''' Yeah-huh!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Nuh-uh!
:'''Buttercup:''' Yeah-huh!
:'''Princess Morbucks''': NUH-UH!!
:'''Bubbles''': YEAH-HUH!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Prove it!
:'''Blossom''': You bought the city and legalized crime!
:'''Buttercup''': You hired Mojo to try and destroy us!
:'''Bubbles''': You gave us a bomb for our birthday!
:'''Buttercup''': You teamed up with three felons and went on a crime spree!
:'''Bubbles''': You tricked our friend Robin into stealing! And then you tattled on her!
:'''Blossom''': You're a spoiled brat who's greedy and jealous! And you don't care who you step on to get what you want!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' And your point is?
:''[The Powerpuff Girls sit back down and sigh in frustration; then the bell rings]''
:'''Blossom''': The point, Princess, is that you better change your ways or all you're ever gonna get from Santa is a big, fat lump of coal in your stocking.
:''[Princess starts shaking angrily. But suddenly that sound of the Santa doll snaps her out of it. Pull back to show the toy walking slowly towards her; when it is within striking distance, she boots it hard enough to break it and send springs flying]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Spoiled?! Greedy?! Bratty?! Naughty?! NAAAAAUGHTYYYY?!?!? DRIVER! Do you know what those rotten old Powerpuffs said to me today?! They said I was naughty! Can you believe that?
:'''Driver:''' ''(coughs)'' Yes. ''[coughs]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Me?! Naughty?! I'm not naughty, am I?!
:'''Driver:''' Well, uh, I'll... oops! Seems my finger has slipped! ''[closes the window]'' Phew! That was close.
:''[The phone rings; the driver hesitates and slowly picks up the phone]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[on the phone]'' WELL?!? YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION!!
:'''Driver:''' KKKKKHHHH! You're-you're-you're breaking up! KKKKKHHH-KKKKKKKKHHHHH! I'm going through a-unnel! -Alk-late-
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[bangs on the window and sticks her head out]'' NO, WE'RE NOT!! I'M IN THE CAR, YOU TWIT!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Servant, tell me. Do you think that I'm naughty? ''[his eyes dart nervously about before her next word shakes the entire room]''  '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;WELL!?&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;'''''
:'''Servant''': ''[stammering]'' I think my...biscuits are burning. ''[dashes off]''
:''[Princess fumes and knocks her soup bowl aside]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Nanny!
:'''Nanny''': Yes? ''[forcing a smile]'' Sweetheart?
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Am I naughty?
:''[Tense pause]''
:'''Nanny''': Time for bed! Lights out. ''[runs off and The lights go out as the door to the hall slams. Princess glares after her for a moment]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Wait! I need another pillow! ''[pause; silence]'' Fine! I'll just go get it myself! ''[gets up from her bed to get another pillow and gets crushed by a bunch of coal]'' Naughty, huh? I'll show you who's naughty! ''[throws a piece of coal]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Well, this time, I am gonna be a Powerpuff Girl! ''[slams the door open]'' And I'm sure not gonna let some elf with a weight problem stop me! ''[gets into a cart driven by her driver]'' Ha! We'll show them! And I'll show those Powerpukes who's naughty and who's nice!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' So now every kid in the world gets coal! And I get what I've always deserved: ''[turning around; zoom in]'' To be a Powerpuff Girl!
:''[She fires lasers from her eyes; the girls bear the full brunt of this assault and drop like rocks, landing face first in the snow to cut three Powerpuff snow angels into it. They quickly emerge]''
:'''Buttercup''': This is so wrong! ''[Close-up of the other two]''
:'''Blossom''': How could Santa believe that Princess is nice?!
:'''Bubbles''': Excuse me?! How could Santa believe that I am naughty?! ''[Pan slightly to Buttercup]''
:'''Buttercup''': 'Cause you snooped on other people's presents!
:''[Bubbles gives her a hard sidelong glance of tranquil fury and takes a second or two to get herself under control]''
:'''Bubbles''': Look. I already told you, I only looked 'cause we didn't have any presents, so I wanted to see if any other kids had any presents.
:'''Blossom''': Enough chatter, girls. We better find Santa and fast.
:''[They start to take off into the night, but Princess blocks their exit]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Oh, no, you don't. ''[Zoom in slowly on her]'' I knew you conceited little ingrates wouldn't be able to accept the fact that Santa thinks you're naughty.
:''[On the end of this, cut to Blossom and Buttercup trading a suspicious look - they are starting to figure out the scam. Princess moves in a bit closer to the girls]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' But I'm not gonna let you brats ruin my Christmas.
:'''Buttercup''': ''[moving in on her]'' Forget it, Princess. We're so gonna tell Santa on you!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[sweetly, flying away a short distance]'' Not if I tell on you first.
:''[She leaves a yellow light trail behind her]''
:'''Bubbles''': We didn't do anything?
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Oh, yeah? ''[pitifully, hamming it up]'' &quot;Oh, Santa Claus, as the only nice child in the whole world, I felt it was my duty to warn you about the three naughty girls who were so angry you gave them coal...&quot; ''[Cut to them, bristling at this; she continues, offscreen]'' &quot;...that they're coming to destroy your workshop and ruin Christmas forever.&quot; ''[Back to her; she takes on the sweet tone again]'' Oh, Santa...
:''[She gives them her biggest and most vicious grin, drops to a rooftop, and bounces off it to head for the city proper, her laughter echoing in the air.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Santa Claus''': ''[angrily]'' Ho, ho, ho! ''[shift to frame all five]'' What's with all the crashing and the smashing, and the smashing and the crashing? Huh? I'm out delivering coal all night long, and I come home to the Smashing-and-Crashing Gang?!
:'''Bubbles''': But...
:'''Santa Claus''': Uh-uh! No buts! I ain't listenin' to no buts from some no-good naughty kids! And no no-good little naughty kids are gonna tell me what's what! 'Cause guess what? ANSWER ME!!!
:''[The four cringe at Santa's screaming]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[nervously]'' Uh...
:'''Santa Claus''': That's right! First time, first time it's ever happened. ''[walking to his computer]'' Every last little no-good, good-for-nothin' kid in the stinkin' world was naughty! ''[voice breaking]'' Naughty! Naughty! Naughty little kids the world over! ''[Princess Morbucks peeks in]'' Except for one. One nice sweet little girl.
:'''Buttercup''': You're wrong!
:'''Santa Claus''': ''[angrily]'' Oh, I am, huh?! ''[turning to them, holding printout]'' Well, I's gots the list, baby. Check it!
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Yeah! Check it! ''[kicks it over, sending a cascade of pages unfolding from the accordion stack toward the girls to bury them. They pop out, inspect different sections, and gasp at what they find: Remember, this is the &quot;nice&quot; list that was falsified]''
:'''Santa Claus''': Yeah! A million bazillion good-for-nothin's on this list! ''[holding up Post-It from his monitor]'' And one little itty bitty, perfect little angel over here.
:'''Princess Morbucks''': ''[sticking tongue out]'' Nyah! 
:'''Bubbles''': That's not right! Maybe you didn't check the list twice!
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah! Princess is the naughtiest kid ever!
:'''Blossom''': She must've snuck up here and switched the lists!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' NUH-UH!! Santa, don't listen to them! ''[points at the Powerpuff Girls]'' They're just jealous 'cause they got coal! ''[Powerpuff Girls stare at her angrily]'' They're jealous 'cause I'm nicer, I'm smarter, I'm prettier, and I'm better than them! So they wouldn't let me be a Powerpuff Girl! THAT MAKES THEM NAUGHTY!! ''[points at the girls]''
:'''Santa Claus:''' ''[remembering the girls]'' You mean ''the'' Powerpuff Girls? Not the same Powerpuff Girls who are always helping people and saving the day and being really good? I mean, REALLY good! ''[the Girls smile and nod]'' Yeah! Yeah! See, that explains all the flying and floating and stuff!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' '''AHEM!!''' ''(Santa turns around)'' '''BUT ''I'' SHOULD BE A POWERPUFF GIRL!!! ME! Not them! Me! MY DADDY SAYS I'M BETTER! MY DADDY SAYS I'M THE BEST! AND IF YOU'RE TOO MUCH OF A FATHEADED FATHEAD TO SEE THAT, I'LL TELL MY DADDY!''' ''[She flies into another room]'' '''AND HE'LL COME AND BUILD A PARKING LOT OUTTA THIS CHEAP.. LITTLE..''' ''[She kicks 2 toys]'' '''ARTS AND CRAFTS...''' ''[She throws another toy]'' '''POPSICLE STAND OF YOURS!!''' ''[She breaks another toy]'' '''GET IT?!''' ''[She flies up to Santa]'' '''SO YOU BETTER GIVE ME WHATEVER I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS, 'CAUSE MY DADDY SAYS I GET WHATEVER I WANT! WHENEVER I WANT IT! AND IF THAT MEANS ALL OF THOSE LOUSY, WORTHLESS, SECOND RATE BARGAIN BASEMENT BRATS OF THE WORLD DON'T GET ANYTHING FOR CHRISTMAS, THEN THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONNA HAVE TO BE!! 'CAUSE I AM BETTER THAN THEM!! AND IT SAYS SO RIGHT HERE!!''' ''[She grabs a note and puts it up to Santa's face]'' '''SO PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT, SANTA CLOD!!!'''
:''[There is a shockful silence for a few seconds; suddenly, Santa gets really angry]''
:'''Santa Claus:''' '''LIST SCHMIST!!! I DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' LIST TELLIN' ME WHO'S NAUGHTY AND WHO'S NICE!!''' ''[He grabs the note and starts tearing it up]'' '''YA KNOW WHY?! 'CAUSE I'M SANTA CLAUS!! CHECK IT! PRINCESS...''' ''[He grabs Princess by the ear]'' '''YOU HAVE GONE AND WORKED OFF MY LAST NERVE!'''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! ''[She starts rubbing her ear]''
:'''Santa Claus''': I have no other choice. You are so rotten, SO despicable, so naughty, I'm putting you on the... ''[points up at a really big and tall naughty list]'' '''PERMANENT NAUGHTY PLAQUE!!!''' BUM BUM BUMMMMMMMM!
:''[Princess gasps in unmitigated fear, knowing that justice is about to be served. Extreme close-up of Santa's lifted index finger and follow it slowly through the air as he brings it to his nose. He touches the tip; a flash of snowflakes, and Princess' name is now cut into the metal as well, signifiying her permanent naughty status for the rest of her life. She screams in horror at the sight; back to Santa, his arms folded in finality]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': '''AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! I'M TELLING MY DADDY!!!'''
:''[She takes off and smashes an exit for herself through the office wall. Visible only as a bright speck, she makes a beeline for the distant mountains. Santa and the girls move closer to the hole to watch her go. He turns to them, holds up his finger without a word, and touches it to his nose. Cut to the fleeing Princess who, in a flash, suddenly finds herself back in her street clothes. She soars along a few hundred yards more before realizing that she has been stripped of her powers, then loses her forward momentum and drops from sight with a sharp gasp. Screaming, she plummets toward the snowy expanse and plows deep into it. A second later, she slowly emerges from the hole, with snow covering her from head to toe, and forces her eyes open through the covering. Pull back into the office; she cannot be seen from this far away]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': '''NO FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIR!!!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Princess flies in front of Buttercup, who is shocked; Princess then slaps her]''
:'''Buttercup''': Ow! Quit it!
:''[Princess slaps her again]''
:'''Buttercup''': Ow! Quit it!
:''[Princess slaps her once again]''
:'''Buttercup''': Ow! Quit it!
:''[An annoyed Buttercup jumps on Princess' back and kicks her far away from herself]''
:'''Buttercup''': QUIT IIIIIIIIIT!!!!!
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Thanks, Einstein!
:''[Buttercup stares at Princess, but then Blossom and Bubbles grab her]''
:'''Blossom''': Good job, Buttercup.
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah, nice one.
:'''Buttercup''': Oh, shut up!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Now, if I were a big, fat, bearded oaf, where would I keep that stupid list?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks''': ''[Referring to Santa]'' Who does that blimp think he is denying ''me'' presents?! Ohh!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Buttercup''': ''[To Bubbles]'' I'm busy.
:'''Blossom''': Doing what?
:'''Buttercup''': Writing my wish list for Santa.
:'''Bubbles''': Are you crazy?! You're only giving him 2 days to prepare?! And that's even if he gets it on time!
:'''Buttercup''': Oh, yeah? When did you send yours, Smarty Pants?
:'''Bubbles''': December 26.
:'''Buttercup''': Ha! That's ''after'' Christmas!
:'''Bubbles''': December 26, last year!
:''[She blows Buttercup a raspberry]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Professor''':  Every year, it's the same darn thing! I can make three little kids out of seasoning, but I can't get these lights to work!

===The Boys are Back in Town [5.5]===
:'''Narrator:''': And their day, the girls even manage to humble... HIM.
:''[In his lair, Him is angrily watching the Powerpuff Girls on TV having saved the day once again]''
:'''Buttercup''': ''[On TV]'' Yeah, it was rough in the beginning, but I paced myself and just wore the monster down.
:'''Blossom''': ''[On TV]'' We were just glad to be of service. Good job, girls!
:'''Him''': ''[mocking Blossom; effeminate voice]'' &quot;We were just glad to be of service. Good job, girls!&quot; ''[demonic voice]'' '''Blah! Blast the Powerpuff brats! They disgust me! So ''effortless!'' They seem to be unbeatable.''' ''[effeminate]'' All these years, and all the villains have produced nothing. So much time, such little results. ''[demonic]'' '''There ''must'' be a way. There must be someone who can knock those brats down to size!''' ''[groans and sits down on his chair; effeminate]'' Oh, boy. ''[suddenly sees something on the TV and slowly smiles; demonic]'' '''Oh, ''boy''...'''  

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Rowdyruff Boys have been resurrected (complete with meaner-looking hairstyles)]''
:'''Blossom''': The Rowdyruff Boys?!
:'''Buttercup''': But that's impossible!!
:'''Bubbles''': We blew you guys up!
:'''Brick''': ''[Smirking]'' Yeah? Well, you can't stop a good thing, babe!
:''[The Girls suddenly start to snicker]''
:'''Brick''': Stop laughing! What are you laughing at?!
:'''Blossom''': ''[Mocking; her hands are on her hips]'' Ooooh(!) Look who's back with mean hair(!)
:'''Bubbles''': ''[Mocking]'' Oh, whatever shall we do?
:'''Buttercup''': ''[Mocking]'' How can we defeat their scary new hairdos?
:''[Boomer naively inspects his hair, while Butch twitches, eager to fight. The Girls continue to laugh, and Brick gets more and more irritated until he finally snaps.]''
:'''Brick''': '''''SILEEEEEEEEEEENCE!!!!!''''' ''[the Girls stop]'' You stupid, wimpy, lame-o girls ''talk'' too much!
:'''Blossom''': &quot;STUPID&quot;?!
:'''Buttercup''': &quot;WIMPY&quot;?!
:'''Bubbles''': &quot;LAME-O&quot;?!
:'''Brick''': You girls just got lucky last time. This time, there's no way you're gonna beat my boys!
:'''Butch''': Butch!
:'''Boomer''': Boomer!
:'''Brick''': And me, Brick!
:''[Boomer sees a fly buzzing over his head, and playfully swats at it]''
:'''Brick''': ''[annoyed]'' Pay attention!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[giggling]'' Are you guys sure you're ready for another beating?
:'''Boomer''': ''[trying to sound tough]'' You girls are gonna eat your words, spit 'em out, and eat 'em again!
:'''Blossom''': ... That doesn't even make sense.
:'''Boomer''': I know you are, but what am I?!
:'''Buttercup''': Enough! Talk is cheap! Let's do this!
:'''Butch''': ''[snickers dementedly]'' This is gonna be fun!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Blossom''': All right, girls. I think we know what we have to do. Let's give 'em some sugar!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[eagerly]'' Ooh, ooh, I want the blonde! I think he's cute!
:'''Buttercup''': ''Man'', you're weird!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Brick''': Your [[w:cooties|cootie]]-kisses only make us bigger!
:'''Boomer''': Stronger!
:'''Butch''': And tougher!
:'''Brick''': ''[laughs]'' You stupid lame-o girls never learn. Now it's time to put these babies to bed!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Him interrupts the fight between the Powerpuff Girls and Rowdyruff Boys]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Hello, girls!
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': ''[gasp]'' Him!
:'''Him''': So nice to see you again! How's things? Not so good? Having a little boy trouble, hmm? Or should I say... ''[demonic]'' '''BIG boy trouble?!'''
:''[The Boys - now huge after being kissed by the Girls several times - land behind Him]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Hello, Boys. ''[demonic]'' '''You're doing just fine.''' ''[to the Girls, effeminate]'' So, how does it feel, Girls, to know defeat is just around the corner... ''[demonic]'' '''and victory for me is at hand?!'''
:'''Blossom''': So ''you're'' behind this, Him! What did you do to make our kisses powerless?!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Oh, that. That's my little secret. You see, I realized that the Boys' only weakness ''[demonic]'' '''was your pathetic little kisses. And since I''' ''[effeminate]'' knew you would resort to that, I added a little something extra: a cootie vaccination! &quot;[[w:Circle Circle Dot Dot|Circle, Circle, Dot, Dot; now you have a cootie shot!]]&quot; ''[laughs]'' I got the spell off the Internet. But your kisses aren't totally useless, girls. ''[demonic]'' '''They make my boys bigger and more powerful!''' ''[laughs; effeminate]'' At last, I win! Have fun, girls! Ta-ta!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Brick''': You calling us STUPID?!
:'''Boomer''': We'll show you stupid! ''[Boomer crosses his arms and smiles proudly. Brick slaps him]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[After the Powerpuff Girls finally defeat the Rowdyruff Boys by shrinking them down to size, Him comes back, angry]''
:'''Him:''' ''[demonic]'' '''CAN'T YOU LITTLE BRATS DO ''ANYTHING'' RIGHT?! I SENT YOU TO DESTROY THEM, AND WHAT DO YOU DO?!''' ''[effeminate]'' You get all ''sissified''! 
:''[With a wave of his claw, he makes the Boys vanish. The Girls smile in triumph]''
:'''Him''': Oh, don't look so smug, girls. Though you may have won this time, ''[Aku voice]'' '''it was a lucky victory and you know it!''' ''[effeminate]'' In time, you ''[Aku voice]'' '''will''' ''[effeminate]'' fall, and we ''[Aku voice]'' '''will''' ''[effeminate]'' defeat you! So keep on your toes, stay alert, ''[Aku voice]'' '''and watch your back... because the boys are back in town!''' ''[vanishes in a spiral of smoke, laughing]''
:'''Blossom''': Oh, boy...
:'''Narrator''': &quot;Oh, boy&quot; is right! It seems the battle of the sexes has begun! Let's just hope the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!

===Bubble Boy [5.9b]===
:'''Brick''': ''[he and his brothers drank 3 cans of soda]'' Man, beating up people for fun is really fun!
:'''Boomer''': Yeah! Beating up people for fun is really fun! ''[Brick throws a can in Boomer's face]'' Ow!
:'''Brick''': Dude! That's the dumbest thing you said all DAY!
:'''Boomer''': Well you said the same thing!
:'''Brick''': Yeah, but it sounds COOL coming out of my mouth!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Boomer''': I don't care what they say; I'm ''not'' as dumb as I look.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': What are we going to do?
:''[Bubbles is now dressed as Boomer]''
:'''Bubbles''': Well, how do I look?
:'''Boomer''': ''[Boomer is now in his underwear]'' Boy, do you look dumb!
:'''Blossom''': Need we say more?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom''': Gee, Professor, you sure outdid yourself with that containment ray.
:'''Professor''': I'll say! Once again, I have no idea what I did!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': ''[as Boomer]'' Uh, hi! It's me, Boomer, your brother!
:'''Brick''': We ''know'' you're our brother. We're not as stupid as you!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Brick''': I know, let's punch each other in the face until someone says, “Hey, stop punching me in the face.” You first, Boomer. ''[punches Bubbles, who is posing as Boomer.]''
:''[Brick and Butch laugh; Bubbles gets teary-eyed]''
:'''Buttercup''': Don't cry, Bubbles. You'll give yourself away.
:'''Bubbles''': Heh, funny. Okay, my turn.
:'''Brick''': Nah, I'm sick of that game.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Bubbles sprays &quot;Flowers are pretty... dumb!&quot; on a wall]''
:'''Butch''': For a second there, I thought you were turning girly on us.
:'''Brick''': Yeah! And &quot;dum-buh&quot;?  Geez, Boomer, if you're gonna do graffiti, at least spell the words right!  Sheesh, talk about &quot;dum-buh&quot;.
:'''Butch''': Yeah! What a &quot;dum-bee&quot;!
:''[Brick &amp; Butch laugh]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Brick''':Hey, I thought you loved cock-a-roaches. Don't you looove cock-a-roaches?
:'''Bubbles''': ''[forcing a smile]'' Well..sure. Sure I do. I love those little guys.
:'''Brick''': Hey, I believe you. That's why you have no problem... EATING IT!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Professor''': ''[after Bubbles captures the Rowdyruff Boys on her own]'' Bubbles! I could hardly contain myself hiding in the closet.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Professor''': ''[after Bubbles apologizes]'' That's alright, Bubbles. I'm sorry you had to eat a cockroach!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[who is still posing as Boomer]'' That's okay, it tasted like CHICKEN!

===The City of Clipsville [5.8b]===
:'''Blossom''': Come on, girls. It's from the time that the Professor accidentally turned us into babies.
:''(During this line, WD to the exterior of the house at night; when the transition occurs, the rest of her words are heard as a voice over. The scene is very peaceful—until a huge explosion erupts from the ground and hides the entire structure. When the smoke clears, we see the Professor in the lab. He is covered with soot and holding a beaker of liquid, and both he and the area are in a state of total disarray. Close-up of his face)''
:'''Professor''': ''(reassuringly)'' Oh, don't worry about the noise, girls. I've just invented a potion that will keep you young foreve— (cuts himself off on this last word upon looking down toward the floor. Cut to his feet, where the girls have undergone a dramatic transformation: they are now infants in diapers, and his mixture worked a bit too well. Safety pins in the respective colors of Bubbles and Buttercup can be seen fastening those two girls' diapers, but the camera angle obscures the one on Blossom’s. She wears her bow but no ponytail, and she is bawling at the top of her lungs sports a single tuft of blond hair at the top of her head and sucks on a pacifier. Buttercup has only a bit of straight black hair and shakes a rattle discontentedly. A flash of white, and we are back to the present)''
:'''Bubbles''': ''(laughing)'' Oh, yes, now I remember.
:''(Flash to this same bit of history. Close-up of the Professor's upper body as he lifts baby Blossom partially into view; she is still crying)''
:'''Professor''': There, there, now. Just let it all out. ''(a pronounced squelching sound is heard, and she sighs with relief and smiles, losing steam)'' There, doesn't that…feel...ugh...better? ''(turn down a bit to show Blossom’s diaper, which she has filled so much that it hangs down almost to his waist. The sound just heard needs no explanation. Close-up of his head and shoulders; he lifts her into view and starts patting her back to burp her. Now her hair can be seen—short, red-orange, with a puff in back that marks the start of a ponytail)'' Oh, aren't you just a little angel? ''(she coos happily and spits up; he grimaces at the sound of it. WD to the present. Blossom has put the bottle away)''
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah. And remember how the Professor turned everyone into babies?
:''(WD to a close-up of an exhausted Professor, out in the city, and pull back. Throngs of squalling infants are heard from o.c. initially, and the source of the din is revealed to be exactly that. He holds several babies, including a top-hatted one that can only be the Mayor and another, with curly red-orange hair, who must be Ms. Bellum. Around him are enough newborns to populate the entire city. WD to the present)''
:'''Blossom''': And remember when we lost our superpowers?
:''(WD to Mojo, laughing from the hatch of a helicopter. In his hand is a briefcase labeled &quot;TOP SECRET GOVERNMENT STUFF.&quot; He hoists himself into the pilot’s seat; pull back to show him lifting off from the roof of a building—the Top Secret Government Headquarters. The girls run out of an access door on the roof and look up after him; close-up of them)''
:'''Blossom''': Let's get him!
:''(They run o.c. toward the edge. Pan in that direction to show nothing but Blossom's bow spinning in midair, as three terrified screams echo and fade away. They have jumped off the roof and gone into free fall instead of taking flight; the bow follows them down. WD to the present)''
:'''Blossom''': ''(smiling)'' Yeah. That got messy.
:'''Buttercup''': Hey! Remember when we sped up time and became teenagers— ''(she picks up a small item and opens it, revealing it to be a makeup compact. Zoom in on her)'' —and wore makeup and gave up crime-fighting and hung out at the mall and stuff?
:''(During the end of this line, there is a WD to the exterior of the Townsville Mall. The rest of Buttercup’s words are a voice over after this point. Zoom in on the entrance and dissolve to a point near the high, glass-domed ceiling. Turn down to the sound of music on the PA system and the mingled voices of the customers. In the background, two girls have their backs to the camera and are leaning over a railing to look down at the lower floors. The fact that neither girl has any visible fingers gives them away as teenaged versions of Blossom and Bubbles. When they speak, they sound like Valley Girls)''
:'''Teen Bubbles''': Oh, my gosh! Check it out. (turning toward Teen Blossom; she wears makeup) She is, like, so wrong in those pants. ''(blows a bubble from a wad of gum)''
:'''Teen Blossom''': Like, yeah, girlfriend. ''(her cell phone goes off, playing the show's main theme as its ring tone, and answers it)'' Hello? Oh, my gosh. We were just talking about you! Where are you?
:'''Teen Buttercup''': Over here.
:'''Teen Blossom''': Oh...hey. So you going to Todd's tonight?
:'''Teen Buttercup''': I don’t know. I gotta get on the treadmill. I just majorly pigged out on a donut. ''(sighs)'' If they only had, like, candy-flavored salad or something. ''(her eyes go wide as she lowers her phone. Flash to the present; all three girls are a bit uneasy at this memory. Buttercup has put the compact away)''
:'''Buttercup''': And then we discovered boys.
:''(Flash to the two teens on their phones. Teen Buttercup hunches over hers)''
:'''Teen Buttercup''': ''(hushed)'' Blossom! Look!
:''(They lower the phone and gaze raptly toward the camera for a long moment. Cut to their perspective: a patch of floor, with three long shadows cast on it from a distance in front. Turn up slowly to their source—the Rowdyruff Boys as teens)''
:'''Teen Bch''': ''(reading a magazine)'' Wow.
:'''Teen Bubbles''': ''(on her phone)'' Tell me about it. Like, that's what I said. Hang on a sec—
:'''Teen Blossom''': ''(nudging her)'' Bubbles, quick! Look!
:''(Teen Bubbles turns her head; close-up of her as she drops the phone and her eyes pop. Cut to Teen Boomer, who is drinking a soda. He drains it, sighs contentedly, and directs a come-hither look at the camera. All three girls are positively smitten)''
:'''Teen Bubbles''': ''(hushed)'' Oh, we shouldn't talk to them. They're bad.
:'''Teen Blossom and Teen Buttercup''': ''(smiling wickedly)'' I know.
:''(Cut to Teens Bubbles and Boomer together. The lower portion of the glass dome is in the background)''
:'''Teen Boomer''': So...wassup?
:'''Teen Bubbles''': Oh, um...you know...hangin' out. ''(two patrons scream; she laughs)'' What's up with you? 
:''(The monster lashes outs its tongue, smashing through the dome, and snaps someone up. The teens do not notice as it swallows)''
:'''Teen Boomer''': You know...hangin' out. ''(the monster sinks out of sight)''
:'''Teen Bubbles''': ''(laughing)'' For sure.
:''(Back to her sisters; their counterparts sidle up to them)''
:'''Teen Butch''': So wassup, ladies?
:'''Teen Brick''': You goin' to Todd's tonight?
:''(Behind them, a couple of gun-toting robbers run to the entrance of a jewelry store and stop briefly. One of them directs a hand signal o.c. behind himself. The teens pay no heed)''
:'''Teen Blossom''': Um...I have to study for an algebra test. ''(the robbers enter)'' For my English class. ''(several others follow)'' What are you doing?
:''(The sound and flash of automatic weapons fire emanate from the store)''
:'''Teen Brick''': Uh...going to Todd's.
:'''Teen Blossom''': ''(laughing)'' Oh! ''(explosion, alarm, and the robbers run out with the loot)'' What a coincidence.
:''(He seems a bit annoyed at her clueless response. Cut to Teens Bch and Bcup. Behind them, a man fiddles with an ATM)''
:'''Teen Buttercup''': So what are you driving now? ''(the man runs o.c.; the machine starts to beep)''
:'''Teen Butch''': Oh, I'm rockin' a new Escalade. ''(sparks fly)'' Wanna take a ride?
:'''Teen Buttercup''': Uh, that's okay. ''(the ATM explodes)'' We rode the one up from the first level.
:''(Teen Butch is nonplussed; the man and a partner run through the smoking hole in the wall)''
:'''Teen Butch''': Yeah, I just put an MP3 player in it.
:'''Teen Buttercup''': Oh, cool! I love that game.
:''(He is caught off guard by this non sequitur. Behind the two, the smoke clears and the men emerge, fleeing with a wagonload of cash. Cut to the exterior of the mall and pull back slowly, as explosions ravage the surrounding buildings)''
:'''Teen Buttercup''': ''(from inside)'' How about you, Blossom? Wanna take a ride on Butch's escalator?
:'''Teen Blossom''': ''(from inside)'' Sure. What floor?
:''(A flying saucer pulls into view and starts shooting at the skyline, and a large red beast, with lobster claws in place of hands, roars as it stomps into view. WD to the present)''
:'''Buttercup''': Boy, were we dumb.
:'''Blossom''': Yeah. Let's remember something else.

===Toast of the Town [5.2a]===
:'''Mayor of Townsville''': Mayor want toast! Mayor want toast!
:'''Professor Utonium''': Look I'm a scientist not a mechanic, what you need to do is take your toaster to the manufacturer and have a certified mechanic fix it.
:''[Mayor starts to get mad]''
:'''Mayor of Townsville''': MAYOR WANT TOAST! MAYOR WANT TOAST!
:'''Professor Utonium''': ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I'll have a look at your toaster. But the I've got to get back to my experiments.
:'''Mayor''': Oh, goody, goody! ''[starts to jump up and down] Is it done yet?
:'''Professor''': No.
:'''Mayor''': How about now?
:'''Professor''': No
:'''Mayor''': Now?
:'''Professor''': No.
:'''Mayor''': Now it's done right?
:'''Professor''': No, no, no, it's not done. Look, I don't really know what I'm doing,so it's gonna take a while.Why don't you just wait over there,and I'll let you know when I'm finished.
:'''Mayor''': Oh...OK.
:'''Professor''': And don't touch anything!
:'''Mayor''': ''[peeps over the table]'' Ooh...What does this button do? ''[presses the button, which starts an alarm. Then there's a rumble. He walks over to where the professor is and there was an explosion. The blast pushed the Mayor and the Professor in his chair away]'' Whee! Do it Again! Do it again!
:'''Professor''': Oh, no. You're gonna sit right here, be a good little Mayor, and stay put while I work on your toaster. And if you're quiet, you can have some candy. Good boy. ''[puts the mayor in a highchair, and gives him a jar full candy. Then he starts rattling in the jar]
:'''Mayor''': Say, these are all lemon! Somebody ate all the Goody cherry candies! ''[throws jar on the ground]'' Mayor want cherry! Mayor want cherry!
:'''Professor''': ''[runs to him with an industrial size bag cherry candies]'' Here, cherry. ''[gives him the bag]''  Now please, let me work in peace. ''[walks away]''
:'''Mayor''': Oh, goody! Oops. Uh-oh. ''[runs under the table and crawls under to get the candy]'' Ooh! Another shiny button! ''[presses the button and the lab begins to shake]'' Help! ''[the lab stops shaking]'' Huh? ''[Chemical X is changed]'' Ooh!
:'''Professor''': ''[working on the mayor's toaster and removes his shades]'' Mayor? He's being too quiet. ''[sneaks inside]'' Mayor? What are you ''[alarmed]'' DOING?!
:'''Mayor''': ''[humming, puts the chemical x on his head]'' Mayor want hair.
:'''Professor''': No! Mayor, stop!
:'''Mayor''': Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Mayor gotta hair! Mayor gotta hair! Yummy 'X' powder made Mayor's hair grow! ''[looks around]'' Professor. Professor?
:'''Professor''': Your hair wasn't the only thing that grew, Mr. Mayor.
:'''Mayor''': ''[looks down]'' Wowie zowie. 
:'''Professor''': Wowie zowie, indeed. Have you no shame? A grown man your age gallivanting around like a little child, not doing what you're told! &quot;Mayor wanna this. Mayor wanna that.&quot; You, Mr. Mayor, are nothing but a baby, a big, big, big baby.
:'''Mayor''': ''[crying like a baby]'' Wah! Don't say that! Wah! ''[runs off]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom''': Professor! What's going on?
:'''Professor''': Oh, it's the mayor, girls. He got into my chemical X so I scolded him, and now he's run off pouting.

==Season 6==
===Custody Battle [6.7a]===
:''[Mojo sees the Rowdyruff Boys for the first time since they've been revived]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The Rowdyruff Boys?! This is not possible! How is it that something that was destroyed can exist again?! I demand an explanation as to how something that was destroyed can exist again!
:''[The Boys exchange looks.]''
:'''Brick''': Duh! Nice hat, dorko!
:''[The Boys laugh and high five each other.]''
:'''Mojo''': How dare you talk to your father that way?! 
:'''Rowdyruff Boys''': Father?!
:''[They laugh even harder, until Him suddenly appears behind the boys]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Yes, it seems that the boys have a new father now! 
:'''Mojo''': What?!
:'''Him''': ''I'' brought the boys back, so ''I'' am their father now!
:'''Mojo''': Incorrect! The Rowdyruff Boys were ''my'' idea, which means ''I'' was the original creator! Yes, it was I who originally created them, which means it was ''I'' whose creativity led to the origin of the idea which resulted in the creation of them! Therefore, the idea originated before the actual creating began, resulting in total origination of all creativity!
:'''Brick''': ''[Scratching his head mockingly]'' Yeah... I didn't get that the first time. Can you repeat that?
:''[The Boys laugh and high five each other again. Him laughs along with them]''
:'''Him''': I'm sorry, Mojo. But your creation was destroyed by the Powerpuff Girls. ''[demonic]'' '''And would probably still be destroyed''' ''[effeminate]'' if ''I'' didn't revive them! Besides, seeing how ''I'' made them better, they should ''[demonic]'' '''remain mine!'''
:'''Mojo''': Better?! How can you make Mojo Jojo's design of the Rowdyruff Boys any better?!
:''[Him laughs]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' By making them immune to the Powerpuff's girly kisses! Now they ''can't'' be destroyed by the mere talk of cooties! ''[demonic]'' '''So why don't you run along, chimp-chump?!'''
:''[Mojo loses his temper]''
:'''Mojo''': Those boys were created to do pure evil, which makes ''me'' the more fit father, since I ''am'' pure evil!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Oh, I'm sorry! But nobody does evil ''[demonic]'' '''THE WAY I DO!'''
:'''Mojo''': That is not so!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Is so!
:'''Mojo''': Is not so!
:'''Him''': Is so!
:'''Mojo''': Is not!
:'''Him''': Is so!
:'''Mojo''': Is not!
:'''Him''': Is so!
:'''Mojo''': Is not!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Is so!'''
:'''Mojo''': Is not!
:'''Him''': '''IS SO!'''
:'''Mojo''': Very well, then! Since you will not acknowledge that I, Mojo Jojo, the original creator of the Rowdyruff Boys, who were originally created by ''me'', and the more evil father, you leave me no alternative but to ''prove'' that ''I'' am the more evil father, therefore making ''me'' the better parent!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Fine, then! ''[demonic]'' '''And ''I'' will prove that ''I'' am the evilest parent!'''
:'''Mojo''': Very well, then!
:'''Both''': ''[Him; effeminate]'' Let the evil begin!   
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' Behold! The TRCP-800.
:'''Boomer:''' You mean &quot;Totally Rad City Pulverizer&quot;?
: ''[Mojo gives him an exasperated look.]''
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' No, dum-dum.
:''[Brick hits Boomer.]''
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' &quot;The Remote-Control Pickle&quot;!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Brick:''' You mean &quot;we can blow things up and stuff? 
:'''Mojo:''' Mmm-hmm.
:'''Brick:''' Anything?
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' Anything.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Him prepares to blow up the sun, destroying the Earth in the process]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Splendidly evil, ''[demonic]'' '''isn't it?'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Evil?! How about STUPID?! Yes, thanks to your foolishness, we will be reduced to nothing! Nothing! Like the amount of intelligence inside your head! Nothing! Like the amount of respect I get after ''6 SEASONS ON THIS SHOW''!!! 
:''[Him turns the sun back to normal]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No, you are ''not'' the more evil parent! You are the more STUPID parent, which makes you unfit to be the father of these boys!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Is not so!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Is so!
:'''Him''': Not so!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Is so!
:'''Him''': Not so!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Is so!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Not so!'''
:'''Rowdyruff Boys''': SHUT UP!!!
:'''Brick''': We don't care which one of you is more eviler, or more stupider, or whateverer! There's only one evil thing we care about, and that's destroying the Powerpuff Girls!
:'''Rowdyruff Boys''': ''[give a group high five]'' Yeah!
:'''Brick''': Let's go!
:''[The boys fly to Townsville. Mojo and Him begin to cry with joy]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': My... that's the evilest thing I can imagine.
:'''Him''': ''[sniffs; effeminate]'' All you can do is raise them the best you know how, and hope they turn out right.
:'''Mojo Jojo and Him''': ''[to each other in unison]'' I'm so proud of them!
:''[The two villains put an arm around each other]''
:'''Narrator''': And so, with Mojo and Him finally happy together, the day is doomed, thanks to... the Rowdyruff Boys.

===Simian Says [6.9b]===
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''[after kidnapping the Narrator and taking his place]'' The city of Townsville. A city that, while being a city, is for some inexplicable reason called &quot;Town.&quot; And not only is it called a &quot;Town,&quot; but also a &quot;Ville,&quot; thus making it a city, town, and village, which seems to me to be redundant and repetitive, which can be quite annoying if you ask me, which you have no choice but to do, for now I, Mojo Jojo, am in charge of... the city of Townsville!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Buttercup:''' In the stomach or in the face?
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' How about a third type of opinion?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom:''' Something feels not right.
:'''Bubbles''': We beat up Mojo...
:'''Buttercup''': And saved the day...
:'''Blossom''': But, what? ''[They think for a moment]''
: ''[The sound of muffled cries is heard.]''
:'''Bubbles''': Hey, girls! Look!
:''[He points to a door and Blossom opens it. She then pulls off a piece of tape from the mouth of someone out of the scene.]''
:'''Narrator:''' OW! Oh, girls, thank goodness it's you! I can finally end this nightmare! So once again the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!
:'''Buttercup:''' I knew something was missing!
:'''Blossom:''' Goodnight, folks!
:''[Long pause as the girls simply float on the ending titles screen.]''
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[Impatiently]'' Now what?
:'''Narrator:''' Er... could I have a ride home?
:'''BBs:''' Of course!

===Nuthin' Special [6.14a]===
:'''Buttercup:''' Huh! Forget it! I ain't got no special skills! I ain't special!
:'''Blossom:''' Aww. Buttercup, you may not have a special power.
:'''Bubbles''': But you're still special.
:'''Buttercup:''' But-- ''[Turns around]'' But-- but nothin'! I thought I had a special power, but I don't! I THOUGHT I WAS SPECIAL, BUT I'M NOT!! SO THERE!!
:''[Buttercup sticks her tongue out at her sisters and curls it; and Blossom look shocked]''
:'''Bubbles''': What did you just do?!
:'''Buttercup:''' What?! Stick my tongue out?! You wanna see that again so you can copy that too?! Well, here!
:''[She sticks her tongue out again and once again curls it]''
:'''Blossom:''' You can...
:'''Bubbles''': Curl your tongue?
:'''Buttercup:''' Yeah, so? What's the big deal? I've always been able to do that. See?
:''[She once again sticks her tongue out and curls it again]''

===Octi-Gone [6.15b]===
:''[last lines of the series]''
:''[Everyone, including Bubbles, Blossom, and Buttercup angrily wait outside the bathroom door, waiting for Mojo.]''
:'''Bubbles:''' ''MOJO!!!'' You get out of there right now! You're nothing but a big party crasher!
:'''Narrator:''' And so once again, the day is saved. Thanks to The Powerpuff Girls and the contaminated cream pie.

=== ''The Powerpuff Girls Movie'' ===
See ''[[The Powerpuff Girls Movie]]'' for quotes on the entire movie

==Recurring Quotes==
:'''Narrator:''' ''[Title Sequence Narration]'' Sugar... spice... and everything nice. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little girls. But Professor Utonium accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction...Chemical X!-- Thus the Powerpuff Girls were born! Using their ultra-superpowers, Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup have dedicated their lives to fighting crime and the forces of evil!

==Voice Cast==
* Blossom - [[w:Cathy Cavadini|Cathy Cavadini]]
* Bubbles - [[w:Tara Strong|Tara Strong]]
* Buttercup - [[w:Elizabeth Daily|Elizabeth Daily]]

==See also==
* ''[[The Powerpuff Girls (2016 TV series)|The Powerpuff Girls]] (2016)''

{{wikipedia}}

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[[Category:The Powerpuff Girls]]
[[Category:1990s American animated TV shows]]
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[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
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[[Category:Superhero comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about families]]
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[[Category:Animated TV shows about sisters]]</text>
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'''''[[w:The Powerpuff Girls|The Powerpuff Girls]]''''' is an American animated show created by Craig McCracken.  It follows the adventures of Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup, three little girls literally created from sugar, spice and everything nice. Their creator and father, Professor Utonium, adds Chemical X by mistake, giving the girls superpowers. They use their gifts to save the city of Townsville.

== Season 1 ==
8 Episodes by October 18, 1998 - January 1, 1999

=== Episode 1A.Monkey See, Doggy Do ===
:'''Blossom''': Gee, I sure hope we can find a trail.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After changing everyone in Townsville into dogs with the Anubis Head]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': All right, you flea-bitten curs! Heel! I, Mojo Jojo, am your master, and you shall obey my commands like the dogs you are! Because I am your master, it is I who you will obey! Obeying commands is what you will do! I will give you commands, and you will obey them!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom''': Not so fast...
:'''Buttercup''': Mojo...
:'''Bubbles''': Jojo!
:''[The Girls are changed into dogs]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Too late, Powerpuffs! Or should I say, &quot;Power-pups&quot;?

===Episode 1B.Mommy Fearest===
:'''Ima Goodlady''': I thought I grounded you, brats! I'm getting the professor!
:'''Blossom''': We're afraid not, Ima. He's conveniently stepped out.
:'''Buttercup''': And we know you're not such a good lady at all.
:'''Bubbles''': What's in the bag, Sedusa?!? ''(pulls out the wig, revealing that Ima is Sedusa in disguise)''
:'''Narrator''': SEDUSA?!? Who woulda guessed it?
:'''Sedusa''': ''(as Bubbles tries to grab the bag)'' Let go!
:''(The bag opens to reveal the mayor's jewels)''
:'''Bubbles''': Well, What do you know? The mayor's jewels. Nice try, Sedusa, But the game's over!
:'''Sedusa''': ''(in her evil tone)'' HA! Never! ''(in sweet tone)'' I'll just sweet talk that sap with the professor. He'll believe in me ''(in her evil tone)'' AND YOU THREE BUG-EYED CREEPS WILL BE GROUNDED FOREVER! ''(laughs evilly)''
:'''Bubbles''': ''(angrily)'' GROUND THIS!!!
:''(The girls attacked Sedusa)''
:'''Professor''': Oh Girls, I am back from the the stooooOOORE! ''(drops his groceries)'' What's going on here?!
:'''Sedusa''': ''(fake sobbing)'' Oh, Professor. Thank goodness you're back! The girls went just crazy and they all jumped on me when I came home.
:'''Blossom''': ''(angrily)'' No, Professor! It's not true!
:'''Buttercup''': She's really Sedusa!
:'''Bubbles''': And she grounded us so she can make off with the mayor's jewels!
:'''Sedusa''': LIARS! ''(to the Professor, fake whining)'' Professor, Sweetie, you believe me, don't you? Please.. help me. Please.
:''(Professor grabs Sedusa's arms and the girls think they are getting grounded again)''
:'''Professor''': ''(to the Girls)'' Girls, call the police. ''(the girls perked up)'' That crook is not going to deceive us anymore.
:'''Powerpuff Girls''' Yay!

===Episode 4A.Buttercrush===
:'''Ace''': Oh, Powerpuff Girls. Please forgive my foolish friend for his foolish act, for he did not know what he was doing. And I know deep inside my heart that he would never do anything like that ever again. What do you say, girls? Will you forgive him? Will you? Please?
:'''Blossom''': Okay.
:'''Ace''': Thank you. ''[winks at Buttercup]''

===Episode 5A.Boogie Frights===
:''[Being chased by Boogie Man]''
:'''Bubbles''': Buttercup? Blossom? Oh, no! I - I can't do it alone! ''[Crying]''
:'''Professor Utonium:''' ''[in Bubbles' memory]'' ''Bubbles, if you can just face your fears, then I know you can find the courage to beat him.''
----
:''[At the end of the episode]''
:'''Narrator''': So once again, the day is saved!
:''[The Girls appear, sleeping in bed]''
:'''Narrator''': ''[snickers]'' Get it? The ''day'' was saved? Because it was going to be eternal night! They saved the day, literally! ''[laughs]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[wakes up as Buttercup glares through one eye]'' Shh!
:''[Both she and Buttercup go back to sleep; through all this, Bubbles is not disturbed one bit.]''
:'''Narrator''': ''[voice sinks to a whisper]'' Oh, sorry. Thanks to the Powerpuff Girls. Goodnight, everybody.

===Episode 5B.Abracadaver===
:'''Blossom''': Excuse me, Mr. Zombie, sir?
:'''Abracadaver''': Wha—?
:'''Blossom''': Could you stop destroying Townsville with your evil zombie magic?
:'''Bubbles, Buttercup''': Please?
:'''Abracadaver''': ''[gasps upon seeing Blossom]'' You! You're that girl! ''[he imagines her as the girl from long ago]'' Girl with bear!
:'''Blossom''': Huh?
:'''Abracadaver''': YOU RUINED AL LUSION! YOU MAKE THEM LAUGH AT ME, '''''BUT NOW, REVENGE!!'''''

===Episode 6A.Telephonies ===
:'''Narrator''': The city of Townsville! And what a beautiful city she is, full of- ''[a phone rings]'' Oh, excuse me. ''[answers phone]'' Uh, hello?
:'''Ace''': ''[over phone]'' Yeah, listen, jerkface, you good-for-nothin' toad!
:'''Narrator''': You can't talk to me like that!
:'''Ace''': ''[over phone]'' How 'bout this? I think you stink! I can smell ya over the phone!
:'''Narrator''': Why I oughta...who is this! ''[Ace hangs up]'' Hello? Hello?! ''[turns over to the Gangreen Gang who laugh after making prank calls]'' Oh. The Gangreen Gang. Why, you crank-calling, good-for-nothings! When I get my hands on you, I'll...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The Girls break into Mojo Jojo's lair and beat him up]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': WHAT IS THE MEANING OF- ''[they shove the back of his chair down onto him, then throw him against the wall]''
:'''Blossom''': Don't play dumb. We know you've got some evil plot underway.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': What are you talking about?
:'''Buttercup''': Oh, like you don't have a giant robot ready to smash Townsville!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No.
:'''Blossom''': ''[surprised]'' No diabolical plans to destroy the world?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No.
:'''Bubbles''': ''[scared]'' Turning everyone into zombies to scare people?!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh, for crying out loud, NO! I have no intentions of committing any crimes...today.
:'''Blossom''': Then what were you doing before we got here?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Sleeping!
:'''Buttercup''': Before that?!
:'''Mojo''': Reading the paper!
:'''Blossom''': ''[deflated]'' Oh. ''[long pause]'' Well...you better behave yourself, or we'll be back!
:'''Mojo''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh goodness, I'd better not snore.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Fuzzy was relaxing in the bathtub while playing his banjo, when he hears the Powerpuff Girls approaching for the fight]''
:'''Blossom''': Okay, Fuzzy. Prepare to get stomped!
:''[Fuzzy is splashed all over]''
:'''Buttercup''': This is for anything you broke! ''[decks him]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[pulling his antennae]'' This is for anyone you hurt!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[raising the banjo over her head]'' And this is for taking a bath! ''[swings and hits Fuzzy on the head with the banjo, which causes him to sink in the bathtub]''
:'''Buttercup''': ''[realizes]'' Uh-oh. I think maybe he was just taking a bath.
:'''Bubbles''': Fuzzy...?
:'''Blossom''': Um...we didn't mean to... ''[then Fuzzy rises from the bath, towering above them and beet red with anger. They look up at him and smile nervously with a giggle]'' I guess you weren't going crazy. You were just taking a bath.
:''[All three giggle and inch away to one side before dashing off at top speed]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Girls have just broken into Him's lair to find him doing aerobics]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Hello, girls. What a pleasant surprise. Ooh, what's the occasion?
:'''Blossom''': Uh, we were wondering...
:'''Him''': How I stay so fit? Well, now you know.
:'''Blossom''': Uh, no, actually. Did you do anything evil today?
:'''Him''': No, not today. Why do you ask?
:'''Blossom''': No reason, just wondering.
:'''Him''': This figure doesn't come easy, you know. I took a little time off to get into shape.
:'''Blossom''': So, you haven't been...?
:'''Him''': Nope.
:'''Blossom''': ''[chuckling nervously]'' Okay, I guess we'll see you later.
:'''Him''': I guess you will.
:'''Blossom''': Okay, bye, then.
:''[The Girls fly off]''
:'''Him''': Goodbye, girls. Come back soon. Goodbye... ''[picks up the phone and puts it to his left ear]''
:''[Cut to Mojo, who is on the call with Fuzzy]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': All right, alright, Fuzzy, I heard you the first time...I know. ''[the line beeps]'' I kn...hold on, Fuzzy. There's someone on the other line.
:'''Him''': ''[to Mojo Jojo on the phone; demonic voice]'' '''Mojo! It's me'''... ''[effeminate voice]'' Him!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Yes, sir! What is it?
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''You won't believe what just happened.'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The Powerpuff Girls just broke in unexpected?
:'''Him''': '''WHAT?! How did you know?'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The same thing happened to me and Fuzzy Lumpkins. He's on the other line.
:'''Him''': '''Well, put him on!'''
:''[Mojo puts Fuzzy on the line]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': ''[shaking with fury]'' BUSHWHACKED IN MY BIRTHDAY SUIT!!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''This is an outrage!'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': You are right. We're all citizens! Evil citizens, but citizens nonetheless!
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Birthday suit!! ''[cries]''
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''We should complain!'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': But to whom?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The phone rings]''
:'''Big Billy''': ''[answers the phone]'' Hello?
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''I demand to speak with the Mayor!'''
:'''Big Billy''': He's not here right now. Can I take a massage?
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''Do you know when he'll be back?'''
:'''Big Billy''': Uh...I don't know. See, Grubber tricked the Mayor into leaving so we could break in and use the Powerpuff hotline to make crank calls.
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''Huh?!''' ''[effeminate voice]'' You don't say. Well, to whom might I be speaking?
:'''Big Billy''': Uh, this is Billy.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Billy who?
:'''Big Billy''': Big Billy from the Gangreen Gang. Who is this? ''[Him hangs up the phone]'' Hello?
:''[A crash suddenly shakes the room, snapping the Gangreen Gang awake. Him, Mojo Jojo, and Fuzzy Lumpkins have come in, looking enraged]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' So! You guys like to make ''[demonic voice]'' '''crank calls!'''
:''[Him, Mojo, and Fuzzy proceed to beat up the Gangreen Gang]''
:'''Mayor''': ''[mumbling to himself]'' Oh, of all the foolishness. Cut the ribbon, pshaw! ''[stops short and looks on in surprise]'' Oh, my!
:''[There was the battle royal going on in his office, and the mayor tiptoes to the hotline to make a call]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The girls are sleeping at night, when the hotline buzzes]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[picks up the receiver]'' Hello?
:'''Mayor''': ''[over the hotline]'' Powerpuff Girls! You're not gonna believe this! The Gangreen Gang, Mojo Jojo, Fuzzy Lumpkins and Him are fighting right here in my office!
:'''Blossom''': ''[hangs up]'' Yeah, right, Mayor, very funny. ''[tucks herself back in bed]''
:''[The hotline buzzes again, which annoys the girls. Then Buttercup uses her laser eyes to destroy the hotline, before going back to bed]''
:'''Girls''': Goodnight, Professor!
:''[But the professor is still on hold since the beginning of an episode]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Narrator''': So once again the day is saved! Thanks to...Mojo?...Fuzzy?...and Him?

===Episode 6B.Tough Love  ===
:'''Narrator''': Those little scamps are so adorable! How we just love the Powerpuff Girls!
:''[Him is in a bathtub, looking angry]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Oh, how I ''[demonic]'' '''HATE THE POWERPUFF GIRLS!'''
:'''Narrator''': Hate the Powerpuff Girls?! Who could hate the...? Oh, no. Please don't let it be...Him!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Oh, Powerpuff Girls, save us! Oh, Powerpuff Girls, we need you! Oh, Powerpuff Girls, we ''love'' you! ''[demonic]'' '''Powerpuff Girls! Powerpuff Girls!! POWERPUFF GIRLS!!!''' ''[looks at a rubber ducky; effeminate]'' Oh, Mr. Quackers, am I the only one who ''[demonic]'' '''hates those''' ''[effeminate]'' miserable little brats? ''[squeaks his ducky]'' You hate them, too? Oh, I knew I could count on you! But how can I possibly beat them with all that ''[demonic]'' '''love surrounding them?!''' ''[squeaks his ducky; effeminate]'' What's that you say? ''[squeaks his ducky again]'' Yes! ''[demonic]'' '''That's brilliant!''' ''[effeminate]'' Oh, Mr. Quackers, you are ''so'' smart. Quite a positively evil scheme you've hatched. And I'll finally be rid of those girls... ''[demonic]'' '''FOREVER!!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Poor, ususpecting Townsville, all snug in your beds. Unaware of the evil that lurks above your heads. And so, with a flick of my wrist and a twirl of my claw, I'll be rid of those girls once and ''[demonic]'' '''for all.'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:''[Ms. Keane and the students of Pokey Oaks Kindergarten are throwing things at the girls]''
:'''Blossom''': I've heard of class struggles, but this is ridiculous.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Buttercup''': Wow, this has turned out to be one freaky day.
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah. Something strange is going on.
:'''Narrator''': ''[affected by Him's evil gas and yelling]'' Aw, for crying out loud, WOULD YOU THREE SHUT UP FOR ONCE?! Always griping and moaning about something! Sheesh, you give me a headache!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:''[All the citizens of Townsville, all affected by Him's evil gas, are cornering the Powerpuff Girls, preparing to destroy them]''
:'''Buttercup''': Why are you people doing this?!
:'''Bubbles''': Don't you love us anymore?
:'''Blossom''': Yeah, you act as if you, as if you...
:'''Him''': ''[off-screen; effeminate]'' Hate you?
:'''Blossom''': Yeah! Hate us! ''[realizes who responded to her question]'' Wait, who said that?
:'''Him''': ''[appears]'' Why, I did, of course.
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': ''[gasp in horror]'' It's Him!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Right you are, girls!''' ''[appears in front of the Professor; effeminate]'' And right you are about your loved ones. ''[licking the Professor's face]''
:'''Blossom''': Take your claws off of the Professor!
:'''Bubbles''': What's he ever done to you?!
:'''Him''': Oh, it's not what ''he's'' done to ''me'', but what he's ''going'' to do ''[demonic]'' '''to YOU!''' ''[effeminate]'' You see, I've taken all of their love for you and ''[his head rotates]'' tuuuuuurned...it into... ''[demonic]'' '''HATE!''' ''[the girls gasp in horror; effeminate]'' Now they will destroy you. ''[demonic]'' '''And you poor, helpless creatures won't be able to fight back.''' ''[effeminate]'' Because the Powerpuff Girls would never hurt the ones they love. Oh, no, they wouldn't! ''[demonic]'' '''NOW DESTROY THEM!'''
:''[The people of Townsville, affected by Him's evil gas, are battling with the Powerpuff Girls, who are on the losing end, until Buttercup rises and knocks the mob away with one punch, stunning Him]''
:'''Buttercup''': Come on, you guys! Get up and fight!
:'''Blossom''': Buttercup, what are you doing? We can't hurt the ones we love.
:'''Buttercup''': Those people ''aren't'' our loved ones. Our loved ones would never want to hurt us!
:'''Blossom, Bubbles''': ''[getting the point]'' Hey, yeah!
:'''Buttercup''': ''[points to Him]'' They're just pawns in his evil scheme!
:'''Him''': ''[giggles; effeminate]'' Well, you know...
:'''Buttercup''': Which means...
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': Let's get 'em!
:'''Him''': ''[frowns]'' Uh-oh.
:''[After the Powerpuff Girls defeat their loved ones and rid them of Him's evil gas, they confront Him]''
:'''Blossom''': Don't ever make us have to do that again!
:'''Buttercup''': Or it will be your last!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Tsk, tsk, tsk. You girls underestimate me. I never give repeat performances. But I assure you, I'll be back!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:''[At the hospital]''
:'''Blossom''': So now you know why we had to do what we did. We all feel really bad, and hope that you'll forgive us.
:'''Bubbles''': Besides, it hurt us a lot more than it hurt you!
:'''Citizens''': Well now, we wouldn't say that! ''[all laughing]''
:'''Narrator''': ''[laughing, then groaning]'' Don’t worry. We forgive you. Because once again, the day is saved, thanks to The Powerpuff Girls! Oh, nurse, isn't it time for my sponge bath?

===Episode 7A: Major Competition ===
:'''Narrator''': '''THE CITY OF TOWNSVILLE IS ON FIRE!!'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mugger''': ''[holding an old woman at gunpoint]'' Uh... everybody freeze or the old lady gets it!
:''[The crowd gasps in terror]''
:'''Major Man''': Halt, vile villain, or taste the bitter flavor of justice that Major Man will serve you!
:'''Buttercup''': ''[sing-song voice]'' Cor-ny!
:''[The crowd shushes her]''
:'''Mugger:''' I'm sorry, Major Man!  My doctor told me to cut down on justice!  But he did say I could have all the ''greens'' I want!  ''[grabs money from the purse]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Blossom:''' Boy, the hotline hasn't run in ages!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mayor:''' That was so hard to do!  ''[pause]''  Anyway, time to move on and forget about the past!  Gotta make room for the future!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Buttercup:''' Let's beat the stuffing out of him!

===Episode 7B.Mister Mojo's Rising===
:''[Mojo Jojo's letter to the Girls:]''
:Dear Powerpuff Girls,
:I have kidnapped Professor Utonium! I have taken him someplace against his will! If you look for him in the spots he likes to be, you will not find him! He's with me - but not by choice! I took him and he didn't like it!
:This message is from, and was written by, Mojo Jojo.
:'''Bubbles''': Who could have done this?
:''[Blossom and Buttercup look annoyed]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator:''' ''[laughs]'' Wow; talk about ironic!  Professor creates Mojo, Mojo creates Girls!  It's crazy, I tell you.  ''[laughs some more]'' Yeah!  So, once again, the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls, but thanks ORIGINALLY to Mojo Jojo!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' It was me.  It was me.  It was me.  It was me.  It was me.
:''[episode ends]''

===Episode 8A.Paste Makes Waste===
:'''Buttercup:''' '''EAT THIS, PASTE EATER!!!!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Loyd &amp; Floyd:''' ''[frightened]'' Hey, dude........
:'''Mitch Mitchelson:''' What?!
:'''Loyd &amp; Floyd:''' Dude..... Dude....

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[to Elmer, who has turned into a giant paste monster, and is covered in flour; sing-song voice]'' You can't stick to me! You can't stick to me! Nyah nyah nyah-nyah- ''[Elmer grows a hole in his stomach and Buttercup flies through it]'' -Nyah???

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom:''' You know what you have to do!
:'''Buttercup:''' '''No! Anything but that!'''
:'''Blossom:''' Buttercup!
:'''Buttercup:''' No, no, no, no, no! All right! '''ELMER!!'''
:'''Elmer:''' Huh?
:'''Buttercup:''' Uh…I-I-I’m…s-s-s-so-s-s-so-o-o…o-o-r-r…r-r-r-ry!
:'''Elmer:''' ''(normal voice)'' Wh-wh-what?
:'''Buttercup:''' I’m…sorry if I picked on you, and…I’m sorry if I called you a…paste eater.
:'''Elmer:''' ''(sniffs, rubs his nose, and takes Blossom and Bubbles out of the sticky glue)'' Thanks, Buttercup. That's all I ever wanted.

===Episode 8B.Ice Sore===

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': ''(after finding out that Blossom has &quot;ice breath&quot;)'' Make the floor all ice, like in ''[[Tom and Jerry]]''! That's my favorite.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom''': Hi, Pablo!
:'''Pablo''': Blossom, how come your sisters are so mean?
:'''Blossom''': Oh, it's 'cause I have ice power and they don't and they're all jealous.
:'''Bubbles and Buttercup''': Nyah!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''(Blossom has accidentally caused crooks to get away with her ice breath)''
:'''Buttercup''': ''(angrily)'' Way to go, Ice Princess.
:'''Bubbles''': You did a bad thing, Blossom.
:'''Blossom''': I know. ''(flies over to cops she accidentally froze)'' Sorry, Mr. Policeman. ''(flies over to citizens she accidentally froze)'' Sorry, people of Townsville. ''(flies over to a tree she accidentally froze)'' Sorry, tree. I promise, I'll never use my ice powers again.

===Episode 11A.Just Another Manic Mojo===
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Now to have some breakfast! ''[finds only one egg in the fridge]'' ONE EGG LEFT?! For a nutritious breakfast, TWO eggs is the minimum requirement! And I have but ONE, which is ONE shy of TWO! And it is TWO that I need! ''Curses!'' I must immediately purchase some eggs, for I need to have breakfast, and without the eggs I cannot have the breakfast that I so require! ''[storms down the long staircase that runs to the bottom of the volcano, then suddenly skids to a halt and pats his outfit in panic]'' I have forgotten my wallet! ''Curses!'' ''[storms back up]''
:''[Cut to him returning down, to discover kids playing in his moat]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': '''HEY, YOU KIDS!!! GET OUT OF MY MOAT!!! IT IS NOT MADE TO BE PLAYED IN!!!''' ''[The kids ignore him, who leaves and muttering to himself]'' I must remember to destroy those kids after my breakfast has been eaten.

===Episode 12.The Rowdyruff Boys===
:''[After defeating Mojo]''
:'''Buttercup''': Give it up, Mo-joke!
:'''Bubbles''': You will never defeat us! So there! ''[blows raspberry]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[resting her hands on her hips]'' The Powerpuff Girls never lose!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator''': ''[singing]'' The Powerpuff Girls' house!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[picks up the phone]'' Hello?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Hello.  May I speak to Professor Utonium?
:'''Bubbles''': Who shall I say is calling?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh, no one he'd know, just a curious stranger.
:''[Pause]''
:'''Bubbles''': ''[shrill call]'' PROFESSOR! There’s a stranger on the phone!
:'''Professor''': ''[picking up the phone]'' Hello, Mr. Stranger, what can I do for you?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh. ''[clears throat]'' Ah, hi, I’m calling from Townsville Community College and I’m doing a report on the Powerpuff Girls, and I was wondering, what exactly are those little girls made of?
:'''Professor''': Ah, oh, well, the Powerpuff Girls.  Oh, let’s see now, eight cups of sugar, a pinch of spice, one tablespoon of everything nice, and, now this one’s important: accidentally add a drop of Chemical X.  And voila!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': That's it?  I mean, wow. Thanks.
:'''Professor''': I also have a great recipe for pound--
:''[Mojo hangs up]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Let’s see, snips and snails and a puppy dog’s tail...all that leaves is Chemical X. There must be something around here with that potency. Aha! ''[it’s a stinky toilet]'' Yes, definitely Chemical X!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After creating three Puff-esque boys, Mojo hugs them in a fatherly manner]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Ah, my children!
:'''Brick''': ''[grabs him threateningly]'' Hands off! Who do you think you are anyway, Pops?!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Why, yes, I am your '''''father''''', children!
:'''Boomer''': Hey! We ain't no babies!
:'''Rowdyruff Boys''': WE'RE THE ROWDYRUFF BOYS!
:'''Boomer''': Boomer!
:'''Brick''': Brick!
:'''Butch''': Butch!
:'''Brick''': We're here to kick some butt! And since yours is the only one around, we're gonna start with you!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh, no, boys.  You don't want to kick my butt; my butt is as rotten as yours.  What you want are butts settled on the throne of justice!
:'''The Rowdyruff Boys''': Yeah!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Butts planted in the soil of nobility!
:'''The Rowdyruff Boys''': Yeah!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Butts nestled between the pillars of peace and love!  The butts you want to kick are the butts of the Powerpuff Girls!
:'''The Rowdyruff Boys''': Let's get 'em!
:'''Mojo''': I'd be glad to take you to them if we only had a way out of heeeeeeee- ''[getting picked up by Brick, and Boomer and Butch punch a hole in the ceiling, essentially busting Mojo out of jail easily]''
:'''Narrator''': Boy, oh, boy! Those boys are b-b-bad to the bone!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Brick''': Hey! What's wrong with you girls?! You're supposed to start ''crying'' when we hit ya!
:'''Boomer''': Yeah!
:'''Blossom''': What are you guys, new?
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah, we're the Powerpuff Girls!
:'''Buttercup''': And it takes a lot more than a couple of cheap shots to make us cry!
:'''Brick''': ''[smirking]'' Well, then. I guess we'll just have to serve it up...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bubbles is thrown through a shop window]''
:'''Mr. Cooper''': Are you okay?
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah. Sorry about your window, Mr. Looper.
:'''Mr. Cooper''': It's Cooper! COOPER!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''The Mayor''': And furthermore, every Wednesday shall be pretzel day!  ''[Blossom is thrown against the window of his office]'' Hello, Blossom! ''[she slides down]'' Goodbye, Blossom.  ''[Bubbles is thrown against the window of his office]'' Hello, Bubbles! ''[she slides down]'' Goodbye, Bubbles.  ''[Buttercup is thrown against the window of his office]'' Hello, Buttercup! ''[she slides down]'' Goodbye, Buttercup.  What sort of pretzels do you suppose the girls like, Bavarian, or tiny twists?
:'''Miss Bellum''': Sir, I think the girls may be in trouble.
:'''The Mayor''': Whatever makes you say that?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the Rowdyruff Boys zoom past the Powerpuff Girls, the exhaust leaves the Girls weakened and coughing]''
:'''Butch''': Good thing we had those burritos for lunch!
:'''Boomer''': ''[laughs]'' Yeah, dude!
:'''Brick''': ''[snickers]'' Word! ''[fiercely]'' NOW LET'S '''FINISH THOSE SISSIES!!!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Miss Bellum''': Listen. What do little boys fear more than anything in the world?
:'''Bubbles''': Bugs!
:'''Buttercup''':  No, Bubbles. That's what ''you’re'' afraid of.
:'''Bubbles''': Oh yeah.
:'''Miss Bellum''': Girls, you have what boys fear most. Instead of fighting, try being nice.
:'''Girls''': Huh?
:'''Miss Bellum''': You know. Nice.
:'''Blossom''': I get it.
:'''Buttercup''': Ew. Gross.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the Girls magically kiss the Rowdyruff Boys, destroying them]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Curse you again, Powerpuff Girls! I'll be back, but next time I will not be defeated! It is ''you'' who will be defeated! And when you are defeated, it is ''you'' who will have ''lost''!
:'''Narrator''': Oh, Mojo, shut up!
:'''Blossom''': I kinda liked kissing.
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah!
:''[She and Blossom giggle]''
:'''Blossom''': How about you, Buttercup?
:'''Buttercup''': ''[starts spitting in disgust]'' Yuck! Buck!
:''[Bubbles and Blossom laugh]''

==Season 2==
5 Episodes by January 1, 1999 - January 31, 2000

===Episode 1A.Stuck Up, Up, and Away===
:'''Narrator:''' The City of Townsville, and it's a shiny new day, with a shiny new limousine headed for Pokey Oaks Kindergarten.  Seems there will be a shiny new face joining the class today!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' I'll need some milk money for my first day of new school!  ''[her dad hands her some cash]''  I suppose this will do!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After Blossom has used her ice breath on a flying Princess to rid her of her superpowered suit, and she falls, crying, but Blossom catches her before she can hit the ground]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[crying]'' Why won't you let me be a Powerpuff Girl?
:'''Blossom:''' Because you're just a spoiled brat. ''[puts Princess down]'' And being a Powerpuff Girl isn't about getting your way, or having the best stuff, or being popular or powerful. It's about using your own unique abilities to help people and the world we all live in. And you, little girl, have done nothing worthy of the name &quot;Powerpuff.&quot;

===Episode4B.You Snooze, You Lose===
:'''Bubbles''': A scavenger hunt? How terrible! I don't believe in hunting scavengers.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[with bloodshot eyes and a crazed smile]'' I know who took my plans! ''[his eyes turn slowly to his left, then he suddenly points to his right]'' It was YOU! ''[a bird at his window chirps innocently]'' Well, then...it was YOU! ''[points at his telephone]'' It was ALL of you! ''[the room starts shaking]'' Ohh, the pounding, the pounding, why won't it stop?!
:''[Outside, Buttercup is knocking on his door]''
:'''Buttercup''': Why-won't-this-guy-answer?!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[throws the door open]'' '''WHAAAAAAAT?!?'''
:'''Bubbles''': ''[politely]'' Hello! Please, Mr. Mojo, sir, could we please borrow your supercharged high-tech laser, please?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Okay, okay, just don't bother me again. I'm trying to find my plans on how to destroy you.
:'''Powerpuff Girls:''' ''[with Mojo's high-tech laser]'' THANK YOU, MOJO!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mojo sees the Powerpuff Girls trapped in the machine he planned, with the clueless Amoeba Boys at the control panel]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': '''MY MACHINE!!!'''
:'''Junior''': ''[playing with the aiming yoke]'' Duh, hey, look, Boss, I'm drivin'!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[shoves them away]'' Get out of here! This is ''my'' machine! ''[laughs evilly]'' Now I've got you, Powerpuff Girls! And it is ''my'' plan that will destroy you! And then I will rule the world!
:'''Buttercup''': Mojo, you creep!
:'''Blossom''': This is the Amoebas' plan!
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah! You're just jealous!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[shocked and confused]'' No! No! It is mine, I tell you! I came up with the crab! And the laser! And even the chewing gum that holds you!
:'''Girls''': Chewing gum?!
:'''Blossom''': Girls! &quot;Chew&quot; thinking what I'm thinking?
:'''Bubbles, Buttercup''': ''[nodding]'' Mmm-hmm!
:''[They chew their way free and fly at Mojo, blowing huge bubbles that burst explosively, knocking him from his seat. They then give him a beatdown as per usual, and then turn to the Amoeba Boys]''
:'''Blossom''': Well, Amoeba Boys! Playing dumb all these years!
:'''Bubbles''': When all the while, you were criminal masterminds!
:'''Buttercup''': Looks like it's the big house for you!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[going ballistic]'' But it is ''I'' who planned it! ''I'' did it, not them! ''I'' am the criminal mastermind! ''I'' am the evil genius! I smart, they dumb! ''I'' am responsible for trying to destroy you!
:'''Blossom''': ''[smiling]'' Okay. Then ''you'' go to jail.
:'''Mojo''': ''[triumphantly]'' That's right!

===Episode 6A.Slave the Day===
:'''Narrator''': &quot;The city of Townsville... SMELLS&quot;?!! Say, what's going on here? &quot;The Mayor's dumb&quot;?! That's just rude!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Big Billy &quot;reads&quot; the girls a bedtime story]''
:'''Big Billy''': &quot;So the 3 Little Wolves went to the pig's house, and they said, 'FE FI FO FUM, you sure have big teeth, Grandma!' And so Hansel and the 3 Blind Mice climbed up the beanstalk to sell Mother Goose an old shoe!&quot;

===Episode 6B.Los Dos Mojos===
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[beating up Mojo Jojo]'' Take this! And that! And some of this! And one of those!
:'''Blossom:''' Buttercup, if Mojo Jojo is here, he can't possibly be the one destroying Townsville!
:'''Buttercup:''' Then who's in the Robo Jojo?
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' Why don't you see for yourself?
:''[The machine opens, revealing an amnesiac Bubbles in Mojo Jojo's clothes]''
:'''Blossom, Buttercup:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Narrator:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Mayor:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Talking Dog:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Crowd:''' Bubbles?!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''(sarcastically)'' Bubbles.
:'''Bubbles:''' ''[imitating Mojo]'' I am not Bubbles! Bubbles is not who I am! I am the one, the only, single solitary doer of dastardly deeds! Purveyor of pestilence! And deliverer of lawlessness! I'm a menace to mankind! I am bad! I am evil! I am Mojo Jojo! Hahahahahahahaha!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''[annoyed]'' I do not talk like that! The way I communicate is ''much'' different! I do not reiterate, repeat, reinstate the same thing over and over again! I am clear! Concise! To-the-point! I-
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[beating him up again]'' Take this! And that! And some of this! And one of those!
:'''Blossom:''' What kind of evil have you bestowed upon our sister?!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' You've got to be kidding. I'm wet! I'm naked! Your sister is wearing my clothes! And this is all part of some evil plot... '''TO RULE THE WORLD AS A SOGGY CHIMP IN MY BIRTHDAY SUIT?!?!?'''
:'''Blossom:''' Buttercup, I don't think Mojo is behind this one. That bonk to Bubbles' head must have led her to believe that she is Mojo Jojo!
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''[sarcastic]'' No, really? Do you think?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Narrator:''' ''[Mojo Bubbles just hit Blossom across a brick building]'' Uh-oh, Bubbles done a bad thing!
:''[An upset Blossom is about to attack Mojo Bubbles but Buttercup prevents her]''
:'''Buttercup:''' Blossom, wait! She's our sister!
:'''Blossom:''' Yeah, but that really hurt.
:'''Buttercup:''' I know, I know. But two wrongs don't make a right. She hits you, you hit her. Suddenly we’re all hitting each other, then we’ll all be right back where we started.
:'''Bubbles:''' ''[imitating Mojo Jojo]'' What's the matter, Buttercup? 'Fraid I'll whoop the skirt off you?
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[annoyed]'' Alright, let's kick her butt.
:'''Blossom:''' ''[preventing her]'' No, Buttercup. You’re right. She is our sister. And as sisters, we have an intrinsic duty; to uphold peace. Not only for the city of Townsville, but amongst ourselves.
:'''Bubbles''': ''[imitating Mojo Jojo]'' Prepare to meet your maker!
:'''Blossom and Buttercup''': ''[outraged]'' You leave the professor out of this!
:''[Then Mojo Bubbles proceeds to beat up her sisters]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' '''RIGHT ON! WE DID IT!''' We finally destroyed the Powerpuff Girls! Now there is no one to stop us! Hand in hand, we can work together! '''WE CAN RULE THE WORLD!''' Just you and me, Bubbles.
:'''Bubbles:''' ''[imitating Mojo]'' I am not Bubbles! Bubbles is not my name! For the name &quot;Bubbles&quot; is not the correct name to address me by, because it is not my name! If you were to address me by the name &quot;Mojo Jojo,&quot; that would be correct, for my name is Mojo Jojo! And I will only be addressed by that name, which is Mojo Jojo! And furthermore, it is not &quot;we&quot; who will rule the world - it is &quot;I&quot;! I, being Mojo Jojo - who is not Bubbles - shall rule this world alone, which is to say, without anybody else, and without anybody else shall I rule this world! And when this world is ruled by only one person, and not a collective group, that one person who shall be ruling the world will be none other than me, Mojo Jojo! ''[evil laugh]''
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''[annoyed and angrily]'' &lt;Big&gt;'''Oh, SHUT UP!!!'''&lt;/Big&gt; ''[swings a girder which hits Bubbles' head in slow-mo just as he did at the beginning of the show, knocking out Bubbles's memory, then, in normal speed, he reclaims his helmet and puts it back on]'' That's all just well enough, because in reality there is only room enough in this world for one Mojo Jojo. [[w:Monty Python and the Holy Grail|One shall be the number of Mojo Jojos in the world, and the number of Mojo Jojos in the world shall be one! Two Mojo Jojos is too many, and three is right out!]] So, the only Mojo Jojo there is room for in the world SHALL BE ME! ''(echoing)'' And being the only Mojo Jojo in the world, I will rule the world, in which there is ''only one'' '''MOJO JOJO!!!''' ''[evil laugh]''
:'''Bubbles:''' ''[regains consciousness as her normal self]'' What happened? ''[sees all the damages she did as Mojo Jojo, then gasps]'' There is only one evildoer who could've done this to Townsville, and that's... ''[notices Mojo laughing]'' MOJO JOJO! ''[proceeds to attack him]''
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[pointing]'' Look!
:'''Blossom:''' It looks like Bubbles is back to her sweet old self again.
:'''Buttercup:''' That's good. ’Cause there certainly isn't enough room in the world for ''two'' Mojo Jojos.
:'''Blossom:''' I heard that!
:'''Narrator:''' Yeah, and so did we - over a million times! We get it already! And so once again, the day is saved, thanks to Mojo Bubbles...er the Powerpuff... Ah, heck, the day was saved. ''[imitating Mojo]'' So says me, the Narrator. So-called because I speak the narrative of the story! I advance the plot! I begin and end each episode of ''The Powerpuff Girls!'' '''''Me! The Narrator!'''''

===Episode 7A.Very Special Blossom===
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Ahhh! My master is completed! Happy father's day! My captian, I wish you were here to enjoy
:''(Blossom crashes in and made Mojo scream in bloody hell as Blossom tides Mojo's body with tape)''
:''(Scene changes to a prison)''
:'''Buttercup''': It's Blossom!
:'''Blossom''': Look! I can explain everything! The professor shouldn't be in jail for stealing any golf clubs! It's all Mojo's fault!
:''(Mojo muffles a protest that he didn't do it)''
:'''Mayor''': I say, Chief. We made a terrible mistake. Didn't we?
:'''Buttercup''': ''(angrily)'' Wait a minute, Blossom! You told me you found those clubs! Which is it? Did you find them? Or did he sell it to you? Come on, Blossom! TELL THE TRUTH!
:'''Bubbles''': YEAH! YOU BIG FAT LIAR!
:'''Buttercup''': COME ON!!!
:'''Professor''': Please, Tell the truth, Blossom!
:'''Buttercup''': ''(as Blossom whimpers then tries to escape from her punishment)'' WATCH OUT!
:'''Bubbles''': She is getting away!
:'''Buttercup''': COME BACK HERE, AND QUIT LYING!
:''(They finally caught Blossom)''
:'''Blossom''': ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! ''(regretfully)'' I did it. I stole the golf clubs.
:'''Professor''': But why, Blossom! Why?!?!
:'''Blossom''': Because you wanted it so much, And I just wanted to make you happy!
:'''Professor''': It's all my fault! ''(voice breaks down)'' I put too much value in a material item, instead of the love of you girls.
:'''Blossom''': And that's what drove a crime!
:'''Professor''': Oh, Mayor, please...go easy on Blossom. She's sorry. ''(to Blossom)'' Aren’t you, honey?
:'''Blossom''': ''(whines)'' Yes!
:'''Mayor''': What do you say, Officer? It is her first offense!
:'''Police Officer''': ''(as his voice breaks down)'' This is very sad. ''(angrily)'' BUT THE LAW IS THE LAW!
:''(We see Blossom's mugshot)''
:'''Narrator''': Blossom was sentenced to 300 hours of community service. This was a harsh reminder to herself and all that crime doesn't pay.
:'''Blossom''': Boy, you can say that again.
:'''Father Bird''': Well, it doesn't!
:'''Blossom''': Huh?
:'''Father Bird''': I said it doesn't!
:''(The baby birds agree to their father)''
:'''Narrator''': So once again, the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls! ''(we see Bubbles and Buttercup very angry at Blossom in a prison inmate uniform)'' Well, Two of them at least.
:''(Bubbles and Buttercup leave as we see Blossom behind bars)''

===Episode 7B.Daylight Savings===
:'''The Time Channel announcer:''' Welcome to the time channel, where we give you up-to-the-minute time, 24 hours a day. Up next, the current time. Hello. I’m Sonny Dial, here to bring you the latest time. But first, I hope all of you remembered that last night was Daylight Savings, which means everyone sets their clocks back by one hour. That makes our current time 6:41. I’ll be back at 6:42 with the up-to-the-minute time.
:'''Professor:''' ''(realizing as he checks all the clock including his watch'') CRIKEY! I FORGOT TO SET THE CLOCKS BACK! ''(kicks down the bedroom door, turns on the light, rushes to the bed pulling covers away)'' Girls, wake up! GIRLS, WAKE UP!!! ''(slamming hotline receiver in cradle repeatedly)'' Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! ''(grabs mattress)'' Get out of bed! NOW! ''(flips the mattress; the girls are now awake, and he's panting frantically)'' Daylight savings, clocks wrong, forty-five minutes, save Townsville now!
:'''Blossom''': But what about our curfew?
:'''Professor''': There's no time! ''(throws them out their windows one at a time)'' GO! GO! GO!

===Episode 11A.Twisted Sister===
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Blossom''': The first thing we need is sugar.
:'''Bubbles''': I'll get it! ''[Dashes on the left]''
:'''Blossom''': And spice.
:'''Buttercup''': I'm on it! ''[Dashes on the right]''
:'''Blossom''': Next you need...
:'''Bubbles''': ''[Comes back with a sweet powder]'' I couldn't find any sugar, but I did find an artificial sweetener.
:'''Blossom''': That's okay. Next you need...
:'''Buttercup''': ''[Comes back with dirt, twigs and leaves]'' I didn't know where to get spices, so I got dirt and twigs and stuff.
:'''Blossom''': Well, that's kinda like spices. Put it in. Now, next you need...everything nice!
:'''Girls''': Oh, boy! ''[The three fly out]''
:'''Bubbles''': Crayons are nice.
:'''Blossom''': Books are nice.
:'''Buttercup''': Lizards are nice!
:'''Bubbles''': I like flowers.
:'''Blossom''' Computers are good.
:'''Buttercup''': A football!
:'''Bubbles''': Stuffed animals!
:'''Blossom''': A calculator.
:'''Buttercup''': A mackerel.
:'''Bubbles''': More flowers.
:'''Blossom''': A compass.
:'''Buttercup''': Boxing gloves.
:'''Bubbles''': Ribbon!
:'''Blossom''': Art.
:'''Buttercup''': Band aids.
:'''Bubbles''': A smiley face.
:'''Blossom''': A globe.
:'''Buttercup''': ''[Punches the bowl]'' A knuckle sandwich!
:'''Blossom''': Okay. The final and most important step is to accidentally add Chemical X to the concoction.
:''[The girls make awkward faces and dash out and Blossom holds a beaker that looks like Chemical X]''
:'''Blossom''': Oh, look at what I found, girls. Chemical X.
:'''Bubbles''': Be careful with that Chemical X.
:'''Buttercup''': Yes, Blossom. Whatever you do, do not drop that Chemical X.
:'''Blossom''': Don't worry, I wo...''[Drops the beaker]'' Whoops! I accidentally dropped the Chemical X. And it fell into the concoction.
:'''Girls''': Oh, no.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Narrator''': Hurry, girls, hurry! You created a monster! 
:'''Girls''': Bunny!
:'''Bunny''': Wha?
:'''Bubbles''': What have you done?
:'''Bunny''': Bunny do good! Bunny do good!
:'''Buttercup''': No, Bunny do bad. Very bad!
:'''Bunny''': Bad?
:'''Blossom''': Yes, bad. You're supposed to stop crime, not help start it. I guess you're not cut out to be a Powerpuff Girl after all.
:'''Bunny''': No Powawull?
:'''Girls''': No.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': Wha...Wh-Wh-Wh-What happened?
:'''Blossom''': Bunny saved us!
:'''Buttercup''': But...where is she?
:''[A part of Bunny's dress lands in front of them]''
:'''Girls''': ''[gasp]'' Bunny!
:'''Bubbles''': Oh no! She exploded!
:'''Buttercup''': But why?
:'''Blossom''': I guess she was unstable, and the blast broke her down into her original ingredients. 
:'''Bubbles''': She was good after all... ''[starts to cry]'' ''We'' were the ones who were bad.
:''[They hang their heads in shame.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:''[At the end of the episode]''
:'''Narrator''': [''crying hard for a few seconds''] Oh, it's so sad, I can't take it. And so, for the first...and final time...the day is saved, thanks to Powerpuff Bunny! 
:'''Bunny''': Powawul!
:'''Narrator''': ''[crying harder for a few more seconds]'' Oh, why? WHY?!?...Oh, go to a commercial!

===Episode 11B.Cover Up===
:''[holding a blanket to her cheek]''
:'''Buttercup''': I am a good fighter. I am a good fighter.  I am a good fighter.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[after crying and pounding the counter in frustration]'' Where's my blanket?!
:'''Bubbles:''' We don't have time for this, Buttercup.
:'''Blossom:''' ''[worried]'' Townsville is in trouble.
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[losing it completely]'' '''''NOOOOOOOO!!'' I NEED MY BLANKET!!'''

===Episode 12A.Speed Demon===
:'''Him''': ''[laughs; effeminate]'' Don't you know the faster you go, time slows down? Your time stopped for fifty years whilst you were out racing around. 
:'''Blossom''': I know that voice!
:'''Him''': Seconds, minutes, hours, days and nights all crawl by on hands and knees as you race the speed of light.
:''[Him has now emerged. The Girls gasp in horror]''
:'''Him''': Yes! Coming back now? Remember?
:''[Buttercup remembers her dare to her sisters: &quot;So - which of you slowpokes wants to race me home?&quot;]''
:'''Buttercup''': No!
:'''Him''': Yes! As you raced through time, the whole world went to ''[demonic]'' '''Heck!'''
:'''Blossom''': You lie! Don't believe him, Girls!
:''[The Girls severely attack and batter Him, but he seems totally unaffected]''
:'''Him''': Are you finished?
:'''Buttercup''': No, but ''you'' are!
:'''Blossom''': Don't you know you can never beat us?
:'''Him''': Beat you? ''[eyes start glowing]'' But girls, don't you see? I've ''[demonic]'' '''already  ''WON!'''''
:''[He transforms into the larger, more terrifying monster version of himself]''
:'''Him''': The beauty lies in the blame, because ''[demonic]'' '''it's ''your'' fault for leaving! Just ask your friends.'''
:'''Citizens''': ''[variously]'' Powerpuff Girls. You did this? You did this?
:'''Blossom''': No!
:'''Him''': All ''I'' did was take over. ''[demonic]'' '''It was ''easy!'''''
:'''Citizens''': Why'd you leave us, Powerpuff Girls? Why? You weren't here to protect us. You weren't here. It's your fault. ''[chanting]'' Your fault.
:'''Blossom''': What have we done?!
:''[Him laughs demonically]''
:'''Citizens''': ''[still chanting]'' Your fault.
:'''Buttercup''': No. No! NO!
:'''Bubbles''': WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!? ''[begins to cry]''
:''[The Powerpuff Girls, screaming in defiance, fly into space, then dive back to earth at supersonic speeds, thus going back in time]''
:'''Citizen''': Hi, girls!
:'''BB''': Hi!
:'''Ms. Keane''': Hi, girls!
:'''BB''': Hi!
:'''Mayor''': Hi, girls!
:'''Professor Utonium''': Hi, girls!
:''[the Girls sorrowfully hug the professor and explained what happened during their speedy time travel]''

==Season 3==
5 Episodes by February 2, 2000 - December 31, 2001

===Episode 0A.Helter Shelter===

===Episode 0B.Moxy===

===Episode 1A.Fallen Arches===

===Episode 1B.The Mane Event===

===Episode 2A.Town and Out===
:'''Proffessor''': ''(taking his head to the opended window)'' I love this town!!!!! ''(echoing)''
:'''Man''': ''(off-screen,angry)'' Ahh shut up ya jerk !!!!!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Citiesville Mayor''': ''(quietly, sternly)'' Let me tell you some words. At what point did it seem like a good idea to blow up the Cityville Bridge? 
:'''Blossom''': Uhh...
:'''Citiesville Mayor''': ''(waves his index finger at the girls)'' No! ''(getting off desk)'' Do you realize the two crooks that you caught stole approximately ''(holds up four fingers on the word &quot;four&quot;)'' four hundred dollars? ''(with intensifying rage)'' Do you realize that you did over three ''(and pounds the desk on the word &quot;million&quot;)'' '''''MILLION DOLLARS IN PROPERTY DAMAGE TO THAT BRIDGE?!''''' '''''IT'S NOT REPLACEABLE!''''' ''(a scared Blossom blinks up at him, and he sighs as he looks despondently out his window at the destroyed bridge, much calmer now, but still very upset)'' Also, that bridge is — or ''was'' — a historical landmark. ''(unfurling flag on pole)'' I mean, it's on our flag, for Pete's sakes! It's also the main thoroughfare into the city! ''(dropping flag)'' Nobody actually lives in Citiesville! ''(voice trailing into tears)'' They commute! ''(cries for a moment, then quickly pulls himself together to turn back and glare at the girls, holding up a piece of paper)'' This is a bill prohibiting the use of superpowers in the town of Citiesville. ''(signing it)'' You're hereby forbidden by law to use any of your powers within the city limits. ''(hands the document to the girls and points at the door, menacingly)'' Now, get out of my sight!

===Episode 2B.Child Fearing===
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Prepare your taste buds delight! For I, Mojo Jojo, am not only the number one villain in Townsville, but I am also...number one chef in Townsville!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Blarney the Sea Serpent''': ''[on television]'' If...I were a bunny I'd...HOP, HOP, HOP! HOP, HOP, HOP! HOP, HOP, HOP! HOP, HOP, HOP! ''[the Girls hop, shaking the floor and waking Mojo up]'' If...I were a rhino I'd...STOMP, STOMP, STOMP! STOMP, STOMP, STOMP! STOMP, STOMP, STOMP! ''[the Girls stomp, upsetting Mojo even more]'' If...I were a fish I would...SCREAM, SCREAM, SCREAM! SCREAM, SCREAM, SCREAM! SCREAM, SCREAM, SCREAM! ''[the Girls scream, making Mojo cover his ears in irritation]'' Okay, lads and lasses. Now let's all join in.
:''[The Girls look towards Mojo deviously]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[terrified]'' Oh no, no-! ''[they grab him]''
:'''Blarney the Sea Serpent''': ''[on television]'' If I were a log, I'd ROLL! ROLL! ROLL!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[as the Girls roll him across the floor]'' STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WAIT!
:'''Blarney the Sea Serpent''': ''[on television]''If I were a ball, I'd BOUNCE! BOUNCE! BOUNCE!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[as the Girls dribble him like a ball]'' HELP! I DO NOT LIKE THIS!
:'''Blarney the Sea Serpent''': ''[on television]'' If I were a rake, I'd RAKE! RAKE! RAKE! ''[the Girls take Mojo outside and rake the lawn with his teeth)'' If I were a hammer, I'd POUND! POUND! POUND! ''[the Girls slam Mojo upside-down onto a block of wood]'' If I were a candle, I'd...
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[annoyed]'' '''ENOOOOUUUUGH!!!''' I HAVE HAD IT!! ''[seizing the Girls and takes them upstairs]'' IT'S...TIME...FOR...'''BEEEEEED!!!''' ''[tosses them into bed]'' Whew! Finally, Mojo get peace.
:'''Buttercup''': Where are you going?
:''[Cut to the girls in bed, now wearing their nightgowns]''
:'''Bubbles''': Aren't you going to read us a story?
:'''Blossom''': We can't sleep without a story!
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah!
:''[We pull back to show Mojo at the doorway, crying and whimpering, his back to the girls. Then he turns around]''
:'''Mojo''': ''[begging]'' All right! ''[kneeling]'' But only if you go to sleep! ''[the girls nod and point toward the side of the bed. He sits down on a stool there]'' Very well, then. I will tell you my favorite story...ABOUT THE GREATEST CONQUEROR WHO EVER LIVED! [[w:Napoleon Bonaparte|Napoleon]]! ''[he envisions himself as Napoleon]'' He was a mighty man, feared by all who looked up to him. Using his genius and his loyal army, he conquered all of Europe, then all of Russia, and finally the whole world. The end.
:'''The Powerpuff Girls''': ''[sing-song voice]'' BO-RING!
:''[Mojo's vision is shattered]''
:'''Blossom''': Your story's all wrong! Napoleon's 1807 seizure of Portugal and the subsequent Rebellion by the Spaniards cost France over 300,000 casualties, untold sums of money, and contributed to the eventual weakening of the Napoleonic Empire! ''[whacks Mojo with her pillow]''
:'''Bubbles''': And your analysis on the Invasion of Russia is also incorrect! Napoleon's invasion of 1812 resulted in ''massive'' casualties of his troops, due to starvation and inclement conditions, and ended in a disastrous retreat from Moscow with his army ''defeated!'' ''[whacks Mojo with her pillow]''
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah, dummy! And when he returned to France, the Allied Nations of Europe united against him, which led to his eventual defeat at the Battle of Waterloo on June 18, 1815, whereafter he was exiled to the island of St. Helena, where he died a ''miserable'' death from stomach cancer on May 5, 1821, stupid! ''[whacks Mojo with her pillow]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Narrator''': If I were a narrator, I'd end this show! And so once again, the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!

===Episode 3.Criss Cross Crisis===
:'''Buttercup/Professor''': Bubbles, come on!
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': I'm not going!
:'''Blossom/Ms. Bellum''': What are you talking about?
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': ''[softly]'' I'm not going out there
:'''Buttercup/Professor''': ''(scoffs)'' Why not?
:''[Bubbles, in the Mayor's body, begins to sob]''
:'''Blossom/Ms. Bellum''': Well?
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': ''[turns on light and reveals bald spot]'' I'M BALD!!!
:'''Buttercup/Professor''': ''[scoffs]'' Ugh, you're so sensitive!
:'''Blossom/Ms. Bellum''': Don't be silly, you're not bald. You have plenty of hair, see? Look. ''[combs Bubbles in the Mayor's body's hair]'' There, now you look just like a normal person.
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': Really? Do I, Professor?
:'''Professor/Buttercup''': Uhm...yeah! You look great! Right, Mr. Mayor?
:'''Mayor/Bubbles''': Yeah, sure. Whatever
:'''Bubbles/Mayor''': OK, let's go!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo/Old Lady''': ''[laughing evily]'' A priceless vase, and I have taken it for myself without paying! ''[hearing something]'' Hey, what's that sound? Oh, it's so familiar. Hmm, it's on the tip of my tongue. Ah, oh, of course, it's the... ''[getting tackled]'' Oh, The Powerpuff Girls!
:'''Girls/Ms. Bellum, Mayor, and Professor''': That's right, Mojo!
:'''Mojo Jojo/Old Lady''': Mojo? But I'm just an old lady!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo/Old Lady''': It's polyduranium fibroid, you can't break it. You're trapped and TOTALLY HELPLESS! ''[laughing evilly]''
:'''Girls/Ms. Bellum, Mayor, and Professor''': You forgot one thing, Mojo!
:'''Mojo Jojo/Old Lady''': What? ''[the girls hit him with a laser]'' Ow, oh, ow, ow...ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, oh, ow.

===Episode 4A.Bubblevision===
:'''Professor''': Bubbles, you look super.

===Episode 13A.Helter Shelter===
:'''Blossom''': All right, Bubbles! What animal do you have hiding in there?!
:'''Bubbles''': He's not an animal, ''[opens the door and shows a blue whale in their bedroom]'' he's a mammal!

===Episode 7A.Jewel of the Aisle===
:'''The Powerpuff Girls''': ''[Sing-song voice]'' Lucky Captain Rabbit King! Lucky Captain Rabbit King! Lucky Captain Rabbit King!
:'''Thief''': ''[disguised as Lucky Captain Rabbit King]'' All right, cool it down! Cool it down. Now, uh... ''[clears his throat]'' Listen up. The Captain and Tennille has a headache. I'm just here for some cereal, then I'll be on my way. ''[reaches for the box of Lucky Captain Rabbit King Nuggets]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[swipes thee cereal box]'' You think we're that stupid?
:'''Buttercup''': We know you have to try and trick us.
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah, just like in the commercials!
:'''Buttercup''': So don't come back until you've got something good! ''[slams the door in the thief's face. A moment later, the doorbell rings and she answers it]''
:'''Thief''': ''[in his fake deep voice]'' Hey, did you guys just see my twin brother?
:'''Buttercup''': ''[slams the door in his face again]'' Weak!

===Episode 7B.Super Zeroes===
:''[The Powerpuff Girls, inspired by their favorite superheroes from their comics, and calling themselves Liberty Belle, Harmony Bunny and Mange, are attempting to fight a monster, but are unable to harm it, much to the monster's annoyance]''
:'''Monster''': STOP!!
:'''Blossom''': What?
:'''Bubbles''': What?
:'''Buttercup''': Huh?
:'''Monster''': Better heroes, huh? Listen, girls. My name is Steve. I'm a monster. I've been coming here for three days causing all sorts of damage to your town, and what do I get? Two days of no-shows, and now this: A flag girl who does rope tricks, some rabbit, and Little Miss Darkness who's afraid of a little sun.
:'''Buttercup''': Hey, do you have any idea who you're talking to?
:'''Bubbles''': We're superheroes!
:'''Blossom''': Real ones!
:'''Steve the Monster''': You know, that's great and all. But, what am I supposed to tell all the guys back at Monster Isle? You see, when a monster visits Townsville, he must fight the Powerpuff Girls. And if he can hold his own and make it back to Monster Isle alive, he's a hero. Now, this new bit is just not gonna cut it. Sure, you didn't have a thirst for vengeance, stickers with faces on them, or souped-up vehicles, 'cause you didn't need them. You see, even if you take away the costumes, props and angst... ''[takes all of the Girls' costumes off, revealing them in their normal Powerpuff outfits]'' you still have all the bravery and courage it takes to save the day. So, what do you say, Powerpuff Girls?
:'''Blossom''': Let's get him!
:'''Steve the Monster''': Now, that's better.
:''[He gets beat up by the Girls]''
:'''Narrator''': So, once again, the day is saved...with no thanks to Liberty Belle, Harmony Bunny, or Mange...but to the one and only Powerpuff Girls!

===Episobe 12B.Meet the Beat-Alls===
:''[Opening shot of Townsville at night]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The city of Townsville. I hate you! I do not enjoy the fact that three superhero female children take up residence in you! ''[begins pacing]'' And by hurting me and forcing me to dwell in one of your correctional facilities, these mutant infant girls prevent me from obtaining political control of you! ''[stops pacing]'' But you will be mine, and they will most certainly-
:''[Cut to Him in his rotating chair]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Pay! I have been made a fool by you for the last time. But as they say, ''[rotating his chair]'' all good things must come to an end. And your end is-
:''[Scene changes to Princess Morbucks and her father]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': ''[talking to her father]'' Tonight! Think of it as an investment toward your future. ''[acting sweetly]'' If I don't destroy the Powerpuff Girls tonight, ''[suddenly shouting]'' I'LL NEVER GIVE YOU A DAY OF PEACE UNTIL I-
:''[Cut to Fuzzy trying to sing while playing with his banjo]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Doo...doo-doo-doo...doo-doo-doo-doo... ''[hits only wrong notes]'' Oh, I'm sorry, Jo. I can't play you purty tonight. I got them derned Powerpuffs in my noodle! And they make me so mad I wanna-
:''[Cut back to Mojo]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Destroy them, I will!''[stomping through the streets in his robot walker]'' Tonight is the night in which-
:''[Cut back to Him]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Your reign of goodness will end. ''[grows much taller]'' And my reign of ''[demonic voice]'' '''evil shall-'''
:''[Cut back to Princess, flying around with her jet thrusters]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Begin to take hold, as I take over-
:''[Cut back to Fuzzy, running around while carrying a large rock]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Townsville ain't gonna be no more after I get them Powerpuff-
:''[Cut to the Powerpuff Girls' bedroom]''
:'''Professor Utonium''': ''[off-screen]'' Girls, time for bed.
:''[The professor is seen, turning off the lights and closes the door. All was peaceful at night, until four villains showed up at the Powerpuff Girls' house unexpectedly]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Hey! What are y'all doing here?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Well, I'm here to destroy the Powerpuff Girls. And I can only assume that these two losers are here to watch a master at work.
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Listen, you pathethic primate! It is I who shall destroy the Powerpuff Girls, not you!''' ''[effeminate['' So, why not run along and have a banana?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Oh, that is a misconception! Just because I am a monkey does not mean I'm a banana addict!
:''[Him and Mojo begin to argue for seconds]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': ''[shouting]'' Quiet! Now, listen. It doesn't matter that you get all your little gadgets, or that you're the ultimate evil. All that matters is that I destroy the Powerpuff Girls! Which I will, because I have the most powerful power in the whole wide world. ''[takes out a stack of money]'' COLD HARD CASH!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': She has a point there.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Yes, she does.
:''[Pause]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': But, still!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Yeah!
:''[They resume arguing, along with Princess]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Hey, I wanna fight, too.
:''[He joins in the argument, but the girls woke up angrily, having enough of the argument, and fly out of their windows]''
:'''Bubbles''': ''[shouting]'' '''''SHUT UP!!!!'''''
:'''Blossom''': We're trying to sleep!
:'''Buttercup''': We'll kick your butts tomorrow.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': IT'S-
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' THE-
:'''Princess Morbucks''': GIRLS!
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': GET 'EM!
:''[Mojo fires laser beams from his robot, Him fires with his energy beam from his mouth, and Princess fires her blaster rays from her hands, hit the girls, causing them to scream in pain. The girls sink slowly to ground level in front of Fuzzy. He stands there for some moments, watching their torment, and his eyes finally turn up to the rock he is holding. He gathers his strength and hurls it; the camera follows it as it flies through the air in slow motion and lands squarely on them, sprawled out on the ground still screaming in agony before they are silenced by the rock landing on them. An eerie hush falls over the scene. Fade to black. Turn down to the four villains, staring in shock and disbelief. Quick shot of the rock on the front lawn, still pinning the girls, then back to the four]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Did we just do what I think we did?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Yes. Individually, we have failed time and again. But together, we are victorious!
:'''Princess Morbucks''': I propose we join forces, and merge into one super-villain conglomerate!
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup? We beat 'em? We beat all of 'em?
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' That's it! We will be known as...the Silver Beat-Alls!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No. Too fancy. We shall be known as...the Beat-Alls!
:''[All four smile wickedly, and the scene around their faces fades to black as the opening guitar riff of &quot;A Hard Day's Night&quot; is heard. The faces themselves are half-hidden in shadow and in black and white, a la the Beatles album With the Beatles, but the shadows are on the opposite half]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Cut to the group of screaming young girls, very frightened, different than screaming fans from the 1960s as the parody tune of A Hard Day's Night plays]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' Yes, screaming girls everywhere ran screaming whenever the Beat-Alls made the scene. ''[the foursome come into view and walk single file along a crosswalk, in a scene reminiscent of the Beatles' album Abbey Road]'' Individually, it had been a long and winding road. ''[they enter the National Trust Bank]'' But together, the Beat-Alls, or the &quot;Bad Four&quot;, as they were also known, had finally conquered Townsville.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[points his laser gun at the tellers]'' Now give me money! That's what I want!
:''[She piles cash on the counter]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' Their rise to fame can be attributed to their ability to deliver hit after hit after hit... ''[the girls arrive]'' ...to the Powerpuff Girls.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice'' Ah, I should have known better.
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' With Mojo Jojo on blaster rays...
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Better run for your lives if you can, little girls! ''[fires his laser gun at the girls, who cry out in pain as they are hit]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' The acidic spit stylings of Him...
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' Goo goo '''GOT YOU'''! ''[spits a beam at the Girls, who still cry out in pain]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' Princess accompanying Mojo on blasters...
:'''Princess Morbucks''': You say stop, but I say go, go, GO! ''[fires her blasters from her hands at the Girls, who cry out in pain the third time]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' And Fuzzy, the shy one...
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': ''[straining]'' I'm gonna let you down and leave you flat! ''[throws the rock and crushes the girls, silencing them]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' ...provides the rock. ''[the tellers regard the scene with fear, and the Beat Alls take a bow with their loot]'' Thus the Brutish Invasion had begun. ''[the girls are blasted and crushed as the parody tune of A Day in the Life plays]'' Again... ''[they're blasted and crushed again]'' and again... ''[they're blasted and crushed for the last time]'' and again... ''[the camera turns up to show the Beat-Alls leaning over a balcony railing and smiling down at their latest victory, reminiscent of the Beatles' album Please Please Me]'' ...the girls were defeated by the Beat Alls. ''[cut to an ornate room, looking out the open door. The girls are in the doorway, somehow completely unharmed]'' Till eventually, ''[they disappear]'' the girls stopped showing up entirely. ''[camera turns around quickly; we see a flash of a terrified crowd before the Beat-Alls are seen on a stage, pummeling a band whose members bear a striking resemblance to the Beatles]'' And the Beat Alls had a ticket to ride.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[to the audience]'' Will the people in the cheap seats, please leave! And the rest of you, hand over your jewelry!
:''[Hands holding watches, necklaces, and rings reach up into view. Cut to a quick succession of B&amp;W head shots of each villain in various goofy poses]''
:'''Stuart Best''': ''[voice over]'' Having finally bested the Powerpuff Girls, the Beat-Alls rushed to the top of the charts of the Most Wanted list. ''[four rows of five photos each, one villain per row, appear on the screen with the word &quot;WANTED&quot; above them. The scene cuts to the police station]'' When questioned, authorities had this to say.
:''[Close-up of a tall, white-mustached, ornately dressed policeman, who resembled to Old Fred from Yellow Submarine, at a podium, with microphones set up before him]''
:'''Sgt. Pepper''': Thank you. My name is Sergeant Pepper of the Townsville Police, and at the request of my commanding officers, I'd like to make this statement. ''[clearing throat, as the parody tune of Hey Bulldog begins]'' Help! We need somebody! Help! Not just anybody! Help! We need the Powerpuff Girls! ''[clearing throat again]'' Thank you.
:''[Cut to the reporter, who narrated the whole scene, outside the Powerpuff Girls' house]''
:'''Stuart Best''': So there you have it. The Beat-Alls have taken over; the girls have taken off. Will they return? Perhaps, perhaps not. But as they say, tomorrow never knows. I'm Stuart Best, and this has been A Day in the Life.
:'''Buttercup''': Ugh! Turn it off! ''[the TV is turned off]'' Who would make a stupid documentary about the Beat Alls, anyway?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Girls! Girls! I read the news today. Oh boy...
:'''Blossom''': ''[reading]'' 'Beat-Alls crash Mr Kite's benefit. Powerpuffs nowhere in sight.' So what?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Oh, girls...Yesterday all our troubles seemed so far away. Now it seems as though they're here to stay. Sitting here eight days a week, everyone seems to think you're lazy. I don't care, I think they're crazy. But you used to be running everywhere at such a speed! Now you think there's no need.
:'''Buttercup''': There isn't!
:'''Bubbles''': If we can't stop the Beat-Alls...
:'''Blossom''': We're never saving the day again.
:'''Professor Utonium''': Oh, you can't do that. What will Townsville do when they look for the girls with the sun in their eyes and they're gone?
:'''Blossom''': But what can we do?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Well, first of you have to realize that the Beat-Alls are just a rock band.
:'''Girls''': Huh?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Fuzzy, he does that- that- rock thing. But that's not important. What ''is'' important is this: Mojo Jojo was a man who thought he was a loner, but he knew it couldn't last. He's just getting by with a little help from his friends.
:'''Buttercup''': Are you saying we should try to break up the Beat-Alls?
:'''Bubbles''': Is that possible?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Sure. I'm certain that it happens all the time.
:'''Girls''': But how?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Listen: Do you want to know a secret? ''[whispers in the girls ears]''
:'''Narrator''': Sounds like the Professor has some magical mystery tricks up his sleeve!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Cut to the exterior of the Bank of the Imperial Garden. An alarm is going off. Inside, the Beat-Alls kick in the front door, ready to rob it clean like so many other banks they knocked off]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[aiming his laser gun]'' I want to hold your cash!
:'''Man''': ''[pointing]'' Too late. Somebody beat you to it.
:''[During the parody tune of I Want You (She's So Heavy), Mojo, dumbfounded, sees the teller shoveling cash into a bag,. His eyes turn upward, and we see a stepladder reaching almost to the ceiling, with a magnifying glass hanging nearby. He climbs the ladder for a closer look and finds some tiny writing over his head. Using the glass, he finds these words: &quot;This is A Stick up!&quot;]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[softly]'' Brilliant! ''[jumping down, normal tone]'' Who is responsible for this?! Who is behind such a unique and innovative approach to committing... ''[the figure at the counter, turns around, facing Mojo. It is a female monkey, with a pink face, long black hair, and white clothes]'' crimes? ''[during the parody tune of Strawberry Fields Forever, smiling Alternate between close-ups of the female robber and Mojo four times. The attraction is written all over his face; hers never wavers from its enigmatic smile]'' I've got to get you into my life! ''[she lets loose a scream at eardrum-piercing levels]'' I love you too!
:''[The other three Beat-Alls, at the front door, watch with some concern]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice, clapping claw to forehead]'' Oh, no!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[walking up with female]'' Hey, guys, this is Moko Jono. She’s a performance criminal, and she’s conceived some brilliant schemes that I think we should try.
:''[The other three trade a very worried look at what this new addition might mean for their group]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[We dissolve to all five of them, the Beat-Alls plus Moko, lying side by side in a king-size bed with a white blanket over them. Mojo's blue tunic has been replaced by a white one, and his braincap now sports white accents at its base]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Uh, why are we doin' this again?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': It's called &quot;Annoyance Crime Number Nine.&quot; Our concept is this. Imagine all the people- ''[pull back overhead; the bed is in the middle of an intersection, with traffic backed up in all directions. We hear horns honking]'' and how annoyed they’ll be that they can’t reach their destinations on time!
:''[Close-up of the group. Mojo and Moko laugh at the idea, but the others are not too enthused]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Cut to a quick succession of close-ups of the following items on store shelves: eggs, toilet paper, milk, light bulbs, and flour. Each is quickly snatched up; cut to a side view of the quintet going down a supermarket aisle, with a shopping cart full of these groceries with the parody tune of The Ballad of John and Yoko. Mojo and Moko push the cart while the other three carry armloads of items. We see that Mojo's cape matches his white tunic]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': So tell us again why we're only stealing toilet paper, light bulbs, milk, flour, and eggs.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Well, Moko's idea is that stealing items that are all white isn't against the law. So it's okay to take them.
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Huh?
:'''Mojo Jojo''': It's all right 'cause they're all white!
:''[Princess sighs in disgust, Him looks very annoyed, and Fuzzy drops his load]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mojo and his new girlfriend, Moko Jono, are both screeching loudly. Him, Princess and Fuzzy are covering their ears]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Mojo?! Mojo?! ''[demonic voice]'' '''MOJO!'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': WHAT?!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' I still don't get it!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The louder you yell, the more pain it causes the listener! ''[six shots of Townsville citizens, including four guys resembling the Beatles from Yellow Submarine, covering their ears]'' AND! THEIR! PAIN! IS! OUR! PLEASURE!!!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic voice]'' '''UGH! MOJO, ''YOU'RE'' THE PAIN!'''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN!
:'''Princess Morbucks''': WE QUIT!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': WHAT?!
:'''Him, Princess and Fuzzy''': ''WE QUIT!''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': GOOD, GOOD! BUT EVEN LOUDEEEEER!
:''[Him, Princess and Fuzzy leave in annoyance]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Now what do we do?
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate and demonic voice]'' Let's [[w:Get Back|get back to where we once belonged]].

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[At home, the hotline begins to buzz]''
:'''Blossom: Yes, Mayor.
:''[Cut to the Mayor’s office. He is on the hotline. Through the window behind him we see Princess, Him, and Fuzzy on a rooftop, deploying their respective weapons on the town below]''
:'''Mayor''': The Beat-Alls are up on the rooftops, and they're destroying Townsville! They just won't let it be!
:'''Blossom''': ''[nervously]'' The...Beat-Alls?
:'''Mayor''': Well, three of them, at least. ''[they hang up]'' Uh, hello?...Girls?...Oh...
:''[Behind him, the girls fly into view and pull Fuzzy's rock out of his hands. Cut to the rooftop; they confront the trio, the sun silhouetting them]''
:'''Blossom''': Hey, Beat-Alls!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Why, girls! Hello! ''[demonic voice]'' GOODBYE! ''[spits a beam, hitting and pushing them down toward the street]''
:'''Princess Morbucks: Sorry, but it's time to go! ''[fires her blaster at them, pushing them down farther]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': Cry, babies, cry! ''[drops a rock on them and connects once again]''
:'''Him: ''[effeminate voice'' I'd just like to say thank you on behalf of the group, and hope we passed the audition.
:'''Blossom''': ''[suddenly flies up]'' Sorry, guys.
:'''Buttercup''': ''[flies up]'' There's just-
:'''Bubbles''': ''[flies up]'' Something missing.
:''[Him, Princess, and Fuzzy are in full shock]''
:'''Fuzzy Lumpkins''': See how they fly? ''[covering face]'' I'm crying!
:''[The girls close in]''
:'''Blossom''': You sure will be! ''[Buttercup takes on Fuzzy, Bubbles thumps Princess, and Blossom makes short work of Him. Cut to a jail cell, where the three have been deposited in a heap, looking much worse for wear after the girls got through with them; the door slams shut on them. Pull back to bring the girls into view outside the cell, along with Sergeant Pepper]'' They're going nowhere, man! ''[they take off]'' Three down, one to go!
:''[They fly off]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Cut to the city street, Mojo and Moko walk toward the camera, hand in hand, but stop short. Mojo looks up in surprise]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[gasping]'' Look! ''[high overhead, we see a white billboard on the side of a building. It displays four words in huge letters: &quot;BEAT-ALLS ARE OVER.&quot; He looks frantically around, only to find the same message wherever he turns, even on the front page of the day’s newspaper]'' Here! There! EVERYWHERE! ''[uneasily, to Moko]'' I've got a feeling, a feeling deep inside, a feeling I can't hide. ''[in a small voice]'' Oh, no.
:'''Girls''': ''[appear before him]'' Oh, yeah!
:'''Blossom''': You're finished, Mojo, and so are the Beat-Alls!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': I don’t need them! ''[taking Moko's hands]'' Now that I've found Moko, our evil shall spread across the universe!
:'''Blossom''': ''[sighs, then calling out to Judy]'' Hey, Jude!
:'''Judy''': ''[appears]'' Hi, girls.
:'''Blossom''': This is Judy. She’s from the Townsville Zoo.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': So?
:'''Blossom''': Okay, Judy. Do your stuff.
:'''Judy''': ''[brings out a &quot;cricket&quot; noisemaker, and snaps with it]'' Michelle. Here, girl. Michelle.
:'''Mojo''': Michelle? Who’s this Michelle? Moko, do you- ''[screams and recoils in fright; a moment later, we pan down to Moko, who has undergone a remarkable transformation. Her white clothes lie discarded around her on the sidewalk, and the long fur on her head is gone. She is now an ordinary-looking monkey with a little bit of makeup. Moko, a.k.a. Michelle, runs down the block to Judy and the girls, stopping to play with one of Bubbles' pigtails and making her way to each of the others in turn]''
:'''Bubbles''': ''[giggling]'' Her name's Michelle.
:'''Blossom''': She lives at the zoo.
:'''Buttercup''': And she agreed to help us stop you.
:'''Mojo''': (in a small voice) Agreed?
:'''Judy''': ''[now holing Michelle]'' She doesn't like you or the fact that you're always destroying Townsville. She said you're giving monkeys a bad name.
:''[Michelle screeches and chatters angrily]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': So...she's not a performance criminal?
:'''Blossom''': Well, I don't know about &quot;criminal&quot;...
:'''Buttercup''': But she is a performer.
:'''Bubbles''': She plays piano!
:'''Judy''': But remember, girls. Someday monkey won't play piano song, play piano song. See you, girls. ''[walks away with Michelle]''
:'''Girls''': Bye!
:'''Blossom''': Now, Mojo, it’s time for a Beat-Alls reunion at Townsville Jail!
:''[We cut to the girls in flight; Buttercup is holding Mojo up by his cape]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[dejected]'' But you took my love away.
:'''Blossom''': Well, it’s like the song goes; the love you take is equal to...equal...to...oh, who cares? It's by some dumb old band, anyway.
:''[They fly off]''
:'''Narrator''': I don't really want to stop the show, but I thought you might like to know ''[the standard end shot comes up]'' that once again the day is saved! Thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!
:''[The music strikes a final, resounding chord that slowly dies away]''

==Season 4==
===Him Diddle Riddle [4.1]===
:''[After the girls solve the first riddle]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Congratulations! One down, eight to go. And remember, you must solve these riddles within the time limit. Fail in any aspect and ''[demonic voice]'' '''the Professor will pay!'''
:'''Buttercup''': You tell us where the Professor is, Him!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Ah-ah-ah. You've brought joy to the people for so many years. Now to their eyes, you must bring tears. ''[demonic]'' '''You've got two minutes.'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the second riddle]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Very clever! Oh, you got that one without trying. Now do this without flying! Go to the corner of Chang and Ching, there on the street the phone will ring. What then, you might ask? Answer the phone to get your next task. ''[demonic]'' '''You've got three minutes!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the third riddle]''
:'''Blossom''': We did it, Him. Now what?
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Well, well. Presidential Fitness Awards all around. ''[demonic]'' '''Now let's excercise your brain!''' ''[effeminate]'' Train A left Pokey Oaks train station at 11:40 at a hundred miles per hour. Train B left Norwalk Station 10 minutes later at 90 miles per hour heading towards Train A. ''[demonic]'' '''Where will they collide?'''
:'''Bubbles''': Math?! I hate math!
:'''Blossom''': Bubbles! Think of the Professor!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' You've got one minute!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;  
:''[Blossom is doing math on an abacus after Him tells her that she's got 1 minute]''
:'''Buttercup''': Can't you abacus any faster?
:'''Blossom''': &quot;Abacus&quot; my butt!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the fourth riddle]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Well, girls, you caught these two trains right on time.
:'''Blossom''': We're finished with this nonsense, Him! Now where's the Professor?
:'''Him''': But I've only just started! In the ear of corn, you will find happiness, joy, and the ties that bind. Squirrels store nuts and birds sing songs, but in the Cave of Eternity, everyone's wrong. On the limb of a tree, there's a monkey who's free, and there he will give you something for me. ''[demonic]'' '''You've got two minutes; 45 seconds!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the fifth riddle, which ironically, took place during the commercial break. The girls are panting from exhaustion as Him licks an ice cream]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' I can't believe you got that one right! ''[resumes licking]'' You got the right flavor and everything! ''[resumes licking]''
:'''Blossom''': We'd go to the ends of the Earth for the Professor!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Touching.''' ''[effeminate]'' Now here's something I hope you'll really enjoy!
:''[Two Ms. Keanes are tied in a rope, hanging on top of a vat of boiling sharks]''
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': Ms. Keane!
:'''Him''': Yes'm! The real Ms. Keane will tell you the truth. The fake one will tell you a lie. Discover which is your beloved teacher and she'll be saved. Fail, and they both will be dropped into this vat of boiling sharks.
:'''Ms. Keanes''': Girls, help!
:'''Him''': You may ask them only one question. So make it count! ''[demonic]'' '''45 seconds! Go!'''
:'''Bubbles''': This one’s easy! All we have to do is ask which one is the real Ms. Keane.
:'''Blossom''': Not quite, Bubbles. The one that lies will just tell us she’s the real Ms. Keane.
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah, don’t be stupid, Bubbles. I’ll just ask which one wants a knuckle sandwich!
:'''Blossom''': Same problem, Buttercup. We need a question they’ll have to answer differently.
:'''Bubbles''': I know, I know! Let’s ask what their favorite color is.
:'''Buttercup''': And just where will that get us?
:'''Bubbles''': I bet it'd be nice to know.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Not so easy, is it? ''[demonic]'' '''Time’s running out.''' 
:'''Blossom''': Ooh, ooh! I know, I know! Ms. Keanes... who will the other Ms. Keane say is the real Ms. Keane?
:''[The two Keanes exchange a nervous glance]''
:'''Keane 2''': She would say that I was the real Ms. Keane!
:'''Keane 1''': And she would say that she was the real Ms. Keane!
:'''Blossom''': It’s so apparent! It’s obvious that the liar would say that the real Ms. Keane would say that the fake Ms. Keane is the real Ms. Keane. And conversely, the real Ms. Keane would say that the fake Ms. Keane would say she is the real Ms. Keane. So therefore, the real Ms. Keane is none other than... number two! ''[Bubbles and Buttercup look at Him who is stunned]''
:'''Him''': ''[shrugs]'' She’s right.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the sixth riddle]''
:'''Blossom''': Bring on the next riddle, evil dude! I'm smoking!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''You think you're so smart?''' ''[makes himself and the girls appear at Pokey Oaks Kindergarten classroom; effeminate]'' Then let's see how good you are on the SAT's!
:''[Bubbles and Buttercup glare at Blossom]''
:'''Him''': Considering your educational level, you must collectively score 100 points. ''[demonic]'' '''You have one minute. Begin.'''
:''[Buttercup chews nervously on her pencil, Blossom breezes by it, Bubbles start to fill in the scan-tron in the shape of a flower]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Time's up! Put your #2 pencils down and pass your papers forward. Let's start with Buttercup's results, shall we?
:''[Ding]''
:'''Him''': 25.
:'''Blossom''': Haha!
:'''Him''': Next, Blossom's.
:''[Ding]''
:'''Him''': 10.
:'''Blossom''': What?!
:'''Buttercup''': Ha!
:'''Him''': And finally, Bubbles. 
:''[Holds up test]''
:'''Blossom''': Oh, no...
:'''Buttercup''': The Professor's a goner!
:''[Bubbles' score is 1075, much to everyone's surprise]''
:'''Blossom''': Huh?
:'''Buttercup''': Huh?
:'''Him''': Huh?
:'''Bubbles''': Ha!
:'''Him''': Well, I'll be darned. ''[demonic]'' '''You will not defeat me, you little brats! The Professor ''will'' pay!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the seventh riddle, a lizard monster appears in the city]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Let's see if you can defeat this monster.
:'''Blossom''': No problem.
:'''Him''': Ah-ah-ah. You didn't let me finish. You must get rid of this little guy without using your superpowers.
:'''Blossom''': Again, no problem.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the eighth riddle]''
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''NO!!! You brats shouldn't have gotten this far!'''
:'''Blossom''': One riddle left, Him, and the Professor is good as ours!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' We'll see, won't we? You will find your Professor when you solve this last rhyme: &quot;Where is boiling and freezing at the same time?&quot;. ''[Laughs]'' The Professor ''[demonic]'' '''''will'' pay!''' ''[effeminate]'' 30 seconds.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the girls solve the final riddle, they confront Him at the Otto Time Restaurant, where the Professor is also at]''
:'''Blossom''': They're at the at the Otto Time Diner! ''[looks at the clock]'' And we're out of time! ''[The girls bust through the door]'' Okay, Him! Hand over the Professor!
:'''Professor''': Girls!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Too late, girls. You failed. ''[demonic]'' '''The Professor is going to pay!''' ''[laughs]''
:'''Professor''': No!
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': Professor...
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Time to pay.''' ''[suddenly rings up a cash register; effeminate]'' That'll be 7.95, please.
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': ''[stunned]'' Say wha...?!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' You see, I bet the Professor here a free breakfast if you girls could solve all my riddles. But you failed. ''[demonic]'' '''And now he has to pay full price!'''
:'''Professor''': Here's your money, Him. Your flapjacks are good, but not that good. I'm never eating here again! Come on, girls. Let's go eat at the other restaurant.
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Wait! Wait, come back! I'll make my flapjacks cheaper!
:'''[The Powerpuff Girls stare at the camera, stunned and confused]''
:'''Narrator''': ''[just as confused]'' And so...hmm...ugh... yeah.

===Flim Flam [4.2]===

===All Chalked Up [4.3]===
:'''Bubbles''': Huh?...Hey! You erased my drawing!
:'''Mitch''': Um...sorry. ''[Buttercup now stands nearby]''
:'''Buttercup''': What are you apologizing for?! She shouldn’t draw her stupid pictures on the blacktop if she doesn’t want ’em played on!
:'''Bubbles''': I have every right that you do to be here!
:'''Buttercup''': Oh, yeah?! Well, I don’t—
:'''Bubbles''': I don’t care what you think!
:'''Buttercup''': A playground is for playing!
:'''Bubbles''': And drawing is playing, you ninny!
:''[They start to argue at full voice, and other kids turn to watch. Blossom does likewise]''
:'''Blossom''': Huh?
:'''Children''': Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
:''[As they chant, they gather in a ring around the two squabbling sisters. Blossom, floating behind the group, moves in for a closer look and then pushes her way to the front]''
:''[Blossom breaks up a fight between Bubbles and Buttercup over drawing over a playground]''
:'''Blossom''': All right, break it up, break it up! What's going on here?
:'''Bubbles''': Well, she started it!
:'''Buttercup''': She was the one drawing all over the place!
:''[Buttercup and Bubbles resume arguing with each other]''
:'''Blossom''': SHUT UP! ''[Bubbles and Buttercup stop arguing]'' Bubbles, you first.
:'''Bubbles''': Well, I was just minding my own business, drawing--
:'''Buttercup''': You see?
:'''Blossom''': Buttercup, let Bubbles finish!
:'''Mitch''': Just fight already!
:'''Bubbles''': Buttercup has to share the blacktop just like everyone else.
:'''Blossom''': That sounds fair to me.
:'''Buttercup''': ''[losing it]'' No way! I'm not sharing nothing! This is the playground! There's plenty of paper in the classroom! She doesn't need to fill the blacktop with her scribbles! You know what I think of Bubbles and her drawings?! YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?!! ''[Destroys Bubbles' chalk by crushing it]'' That's what I think.
:''[Bubbles looks down at the fragments and drops to her knees, her head bowed in sadness. A moment later, she lifts her face, now rearranged into an expression of raw anger. Cut to behind her as she slowly rises to her feet and Buttercup smirks at her. We hear her breathing hard, and in a close-up, she is sweating buckets and looking as if about to go over the edge once and for all. She snarls and reaches toward her sister as if to strike her, but the fury evaporates in an instant, unable to bring herself to do it. It is replaced by a desperate struggle to keep her composure, whimpering as her wobbling mouth and the tears leaking from her tightly closed eyes readily attest. After several seconds of unbearable tension, her self-control completely shatters and she explodes. The camera follows her as she flees the scene and heads into the woods, crying all the while. Overhead view of a tree stump in a small clearing. She flies in and collapses by it, face down on its surface, to cry herself out]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bubbles is exploring a magical, colorful world of chalk]''
:'''Bubbles''': Oh, I love each and every one of you! What is this magical place?
:''[A butterfly, with Him's face on it, appears; Bubbles doesn't recognize Him]''
:'''Him''': ''[speaking in a crossover between a squeaky voice and his effeminate voice]'' We've been waiting a long time for you, Bubbles.
:'''Bubbles''': You have?
:'''Him''': Oh, yes! We've been waiting for the perfect time to welcome you to our world!
:'''Bubbles''': How long have you been here?
:'''Him''': As long as you have had imagination. And as you can see, we have a present for you.
:''[He reveals a chalk box]''
:'''Bubbles''': The chalk!
:'''Him''': Yes, the chalk. And you can help us make our world even more beautiful!
:'''Bubbles''': Ah, shucks. I couldn't do that.
:'''Him''': Oh, yes, you can! Isn't that right, friends? All we need is your imagination!
:''[He makes himself and Bubbles appear in a blackboard]''
:'''Bubbles''': Where are we?
:'''Him''': The whole world is your canvas. And here, you can draw anything you want with your magical chalk! Try it.
:'''Bubbles''': But what do I draw?
:'''Him''': Draw anything you feel. Draw what makes you happy.
:'''Bubbles''': Hmm. What makes me happy? ''[She draws a flower on the board]'' There! How's that?
:'''Him''': Good! But now, watch. ''[The flower grows more large petals]'' Draw some more. More happy things!
:''[Bubbles draws on the board a bird's nest on a tree with a mother bird on the nest]''
:'''Bubbles''': There!
:'''Him''': Look! ''[The eggs hatch into baby birds]'' See what your imagination can do? Draw, draw! ''[Bubbles draws a beach with a sunset, seagulls and a school of fish]'' Well, what do you think?
:'''Bubbles''': I've never drawn prettier things! They light up my life!
:'''Him''': Well, there's more to it than just happy little drawings.
:'''Bubbles''': What do you mean?
:'''Him''': Artists draw all of their feelings.
:'''Bubbles''': Like a happy feeling.
:'''Him''': Well, not just happy feelings. Haven't you ever been frustrated, sad? How about angry?
:'''Bubbles''': No.
:'''Him''': No?
:'''Bubbles''': Never.
:'''Him''': Never?
:'''Bubbles''': No!
:'''Him''': No?
:'''Bubbles''': No, never!
:''[She suddenly realizes she's becoming angry and covers her mouth]''
:'''Him''': Aha! It's okay to be angry, and it's important to express it. Let's wipe the state clean. ''[The beach drawing disappears]'' Now, remember when Buttercup destroyed your chalk at the playground?
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah, that wasn't very fair.
:'''Him''': That's right! Now get your chalk. Let's draw that feeling.
:'''Bubbles''': What does it look like?
:'''Him''': Draw a big scribble. Hard and fast. More! More! Harder, faster! ''[Bubbles does as she has been told]'' How does that make you feel?
:'''Bubbles''': Better, I guess.
:'''Him''': Good! Now draw some more. Draw how Buttercup made you feel. Who is she to tell you what to do? Push her around? Feel your anger. ''[Bubbles, feeling her anger, draws monsters on the blackboard]'' Did you get all your anger out?
:'''Bubbles''': Yes! ''[Pants]'' I had no idea I could express myself like that.
:'''Him''': Neither did I.
:''[Him vanishes]'' 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[As the chalk monsters attack Pokey Oaks Kindergarten]''
:'''Blossom''': EVERYONE GET INSIDE!! ''[All the kids run into the classroom. A giant chalk turtle smashes the classroom's roof]'' EVERYONE GET OUTSIDE!!
:''[The kids run back outside]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[As the girls try to defeat the monsters by erasing them with erasers, but to no avail]''
:'''Bubbles''': He can't do that!
:''[Him, still in the form of a butterfly, appears; Bubbles still does not recognize Him]''
:'''Him''': ''[squeaky and effeminate voice]'' I think he can.
:'''Bubbles''': Oh! Thank goodness you're here! I drew all these monsters and they came to life. But now you're here and you can help.
:'''Him''': But why would I help you, when this whole thing was ''[instantly transforms into his normal form; demonic voice]'' '''MY idea?!'''
:'''Bubbles''': ''[Gasps]'' It was you! You made me do this!
:'''Him''': ''[putting his arm around Bubbles; effeminate]'' Au contaire. I just provided the chalk.
:'''Blossom''': You leave Bubbles alone!
:'''Him''': It was ''you'' who draw monsters! 
:'''Bubbles''': Get your claws off me!
:''[She releases himself from Him's grasp]''
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''That's good!''' ''[effeminate]'' Express that anger, just like before! Remember how good it felt?
:'''Bubbles''': Okay, I will!
:'''Blossom and Buttercup''': No, Bubbles, wait! ''[Bubbles uses her chalk and eraser to turn the chalk turtle into a happier turtle, much to Him's shock]'' Go, Bubbles!
:''[Bubbles then uses the chalk to turn all the other monsters into happy drawings. Him is enraged]''
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''No! No! NO!!'''
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': All right!
:'''Him''': '''You can't do that! You're supposed to express your anger!'''
:'''Bubbles''': I am. I'm just expressing it in a positive way. And I think you were more positive when you were a cute...little...butterfly! ''[Uses her chalk to draw on Him, turning him into a butterfly, embarrassing Him]'' What do you think?
:'''Blossom''': Oh, yes.
:'''Buttercup''': Much better.
:''[Him, humiliated and defeated, becomes enraged]''
:'''Him''': '''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!'''
:''[He vanishes, defeated]''

===Get Back, Jojo [4.4]===

===Members Only [4.5]===
:'''Mascumax''': Men of Earth! Witness the coming of... MASCUMAX! Breaker of men! Taker of worlds! Be there any true men amongst thee?! Step forth and bring thy manhood against mine own, so that we might see who has the upper hand upon the measuring stick!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mascumax has been defeating the male superheroes easily]''
:'''Mascumax''': Fools! I feed off your expulsions of manliness! The more manhood you bring against me, the harder I become!
:'''Blossom''': Hey, buff! Why don't you try some Powerpuff?
:'''Mascumax''': What? Little girls?! ''[laughs]'' Shouldn't you be home learning how to be mommies?!
:'''Buttercup''': Ugh, ''this'' stuff again?
:'''Blossom''': Look, this planet is our home, and mommies are ready to clean house!
:''[They land several successful blows on Mascumax and knock him down]''
:'''Blossom''': All right, ladies, let's do some ''real'' cookin'! Form Furious Flaming Feline!
:''[The girls form a cat-like shape made of fire, which leaps at Mascumax, setting him on fire, and rubs against his leg]''
:'''Mascumax''': AAAAAAAARGH!!! NOOOOOOO, IT CANNOT BEEEE!!!
:'''Blossom''': If you can't take the heat, then stay out of the kitchen!
:''[Mascumax chickens out, transforming back into hotrod mode and flying back into space]''
:'''Mascumax''': ''[sobbing]'' WAAAAAHAHAHAAA!!! MOMMY, THERE WAS SOME GIRLS, AND THEY WERE BEING MEAN TO ME!!!

===Nano to the North [4.6]===

===Stray Bullet [4.7]===
:''[The Powerpuff Girls induct their new member]''
:'''Blossom''' : May I have your attention, please!  Friends!  Family!  Esteemed colleagues!  We are gathered here today for a momentous occasion!  Bubbles, translate.
:'''Bubbles''': Oh yeah. Cheep cheep, cheep cheep. Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep.
:'''Blossom''': Today, for the first time ever . . .
:'''Bubbles''': Cheep, cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . we have discovered an individual . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . . cheep cheep, cheep cheep cheep cheep, cheep cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . whose bravery . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . . cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . strength . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . .cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . and agility . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . . cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . have proven her worthy to be a member of our exclusive organization . . .
:'''The Powerpuff Girls''': THE POWERPUFF GIRLS!
:'''Bubbles''': CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP! Hey, Professor! Clap!
:'''Professor Utonium''': Hm? Oh, uh, yay!
:'''Blossom''': And so, dubbed with the appropriate 'B' name . . .
:'''Bubbles''': Cheep cheep, cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Buttercup''': Bruce begins with a B!
:'''Blossom''': Shh! . . . I hereby dub thee . . .
:'''Bubbles''': . . . cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep . . .
:'''Blossom''': . . . Powerpuff Bullet!
:'''Bubbles''': . . . Cheep cheep --- Cheep cheep!
:'''Professor Utonium''': Woo hoo, yeah! [hoots] Ha ha ha, yeah! [hoots]

===Forced Kin [4.8]===
:''[The invading robot has repeatedly outsmarted Mojo, defeated the Girls, and wrecked much of Townsville, including Mojo's volcano laboratory]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No! My laboratory, home to all my evil plans and devices... destroyed!
:'''Robot''': Earth creatures, the destruction of your dwelling area is now complete. I am now your new leader.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[shaking with shock and outrage]'' NOOOOOO! That is ''my'' line! ''I've'' always wanted to say that!
:'''Robot''': And you will now bow down to me. ''[Townsville's people are shown bowing]'' Yes, just like that.
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No! No! '''NOOOO...!!!''' 
:''[Mojo's eyes pop and glow, and he goes completely berserk, prancing around, gibbering and shrieking like a wild chimpanzee as the robot watches]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': ''[eyes glowing again]'' '''YOU!!! HAVE!!! BROKEN!!! MY!!! ''DREEEEAMS!!!'''''
:''[He leaps at the robot, delivering several powerful punches, finally knocking it down with a blow to the head with the loaf of bread from Miguel's Market. He then pulls its lower leg back, making it cry out in pain and pound the ground]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Say it! SAY IT! '''SAY IT!!!'''
:'''Robot''': ''YOU'' ARE THE MOST EVIL! ''[collapses again]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': And don't you forget it!

===Knock it Off [4.9]===
:'''Professor Utonium''': When were you in New York?
:'''Blossom''': Yesterday.
:'''Buttercup''': (&lt;i&gt;whispering&lt;/i&gt;) No, today.
:'''Blossom''': I mean... today.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': What happened to Professor Dick and the other Powerpuff Girls?
:'''Professor Utonium''': Well, Old Dick may have gotten the formula right, but the one ingredient that he forgot was &quot;love&quot;. Let's go home, girls.
:'''Professor Dick''': (&lt;i&gt;screaming while dying&lt;/i&gt;) '''NNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!'''

===Super Friends [4.10]===
:''[The girls introduce their new friend Robin to Professor Utonium]''
:'''Bubbles:''' He made us in his laboratory by accident.
:'''Professor:''' Yes, uh... well, it was sort of an accident...
:'''Robin:''' That's okay, Professor. I was an accident, too! ''(his eyes widen)'' Your dad is funny!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess:''' Hey girls, let me be a Powerpuff Girl for a day and you could ride in Daddy's limo with me to school!
:'''Blossom:''' No thanks, Princess. We'd rather walk with our new friend, Robin, to school.
:'''Princess:''' Very well then. You obviously don't know a thing about first class travel...... how 'bout 5 bucks?
:'''Blossom:''' ''[Resting her hands on her hips]'' Would that be 5 bucks to ride in your limo, or 5 bucks to be a Powerpuff Girl?

===Keen on Keane [4.11a]===

===Not So Awesome Blossom [4.11b]===
:[''During a battle between Blossom and one of Mojo's robots'']
:'''Blossom''': Okay! It's just you and me! Let's see what you got!
:[''She blows a raspberry at the robot'']
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''The Professor read's Mojo's note over the hotline'']
:'''Professor''': &quot;Bubbles, Buttercup or whichever of the two remaining Powerpuff Girls has answered the hotline, listen closely. Pay attention. Consentrate intently on the words coming from my mouth. I, the Professor, am being held prisoner. I am being kept against my will in a location not of my choosing. If you desire my safe return you must...&quot; Oh, excuse me. Could you please move you finger?
:'''Mojo''': Sorry.
:'''Professor''': Thank you. &quot;...come to the lair of Mojo Jojo together, not alone. Indepently...&quot;
:'''Buttercup''': I think we need to go to Mojo's and save the Professor.
:'''Bubbles''': Again?!

===Power-Noia [4.12]===
:''[Blossom is trapped in a dream world of Pokey Oaks Kindergarten with an evil version of Ms. Keane and the schoolchildren, trying to make Blossom fail to answer questions. Ms. Keane suddenly starts laughing in Him's voice, and she and the schoolchildren suddenly turn into small copies of Him. Blossom makes the connection and becomes determined to face her fear]''
:'''Blossom''': ENOUGH! ''[Him/Ms. Keane and the schoolchildren stop laughing]'' Next question.
:'''Him/Ms. Keane''': ''[effeminate voice]'' Sure, next question. ''[demonic voice]'' '''What is the square root of seven?!'''
:''[Him and the schoolchildren laugh]''
:'''Blossom''': Seven doesn't have a square root. It's prime! 
:''[Everyone stops laughing]''
:'''Him/Ms. Keane''': '''That is...''' ''[effeminate]'' correct. What is the algebric formula for determining the area of a triangle?
:'''Blossom''': Half the base times height!
:'''Him/Ms. Keane''': That's correct. If a train leaves Boston at 12:30pm traveling at 75 miles per hour, and another train leaves Los Angeles at the same time traveling at 90 miles per hour... ''[demonic]'' '''which one will get to Cuba first?'''
:'''Blossom''': Neither! Trains don't go to Cuba, &quot;Ms. Keane&quot;!
:'''Him/Ms. Keane''': ''[effeminate]'' Well, how perspective of you. Oh, well. ''[throws question cards away; demonic]'' '''Tests bore me. You think you're so smart, don't you?'''
:'''Blossom''': I outsmarted you, didn't I?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After overcoming their greatest fears, the Powerpuff Girls finally confront Him, in the form of a giant, multiple-headed, multiple-tenctacled crossover of a crab and spider]''  
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Oh, Blossom! You're always so logical! How droll! ''[giggles evilly]'' Here I am! Sorry it took me so long. I wanted to slip into something more...sinister! You have been such good fun, but now you're starting to bore me. And I'm afraid playtime is over! I ''[demonic]'' '''know your deepest, darkest fear.''' ''[effeminate]'' You are afraid ''[demonic]'' '''YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME!!'''
:'''Blossom''': Let's teach him a lesson!
:'''Buttercup''': Whatever! That guy's toast!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Two heads are better than one! 
:''[The girls and Him fight each other in a large fierce battle. Eventually, Him loses the battle, and is beaten up by the girls, turning him back into his normal form and size. The girls look at a scared Him, pleading for his life]'' 
:'''Him''': Please! No more! Don't hurt me! I don't understand. ''[demonic]'' '''I was so close!''' ''[effeminate]'' I almost had you! You are supposed to be afraid!
:'''Blossom''': Guess you should've done your homework, weirdo!
:'''Bubbles''': We're sisters and we love each other!
:'''Blossom''': And we're not afraid of anything as long as we have each other.
:'''Buttercup''': Gimme a break, you two! Yab-yab-yab! Can I toss this guy, already?
:''[Pause]''
:'''Blossom''': Oh, okay.
:'''Him''': No, wait! It's cool! It's cool! Everything's cool! ''[Buttercup, not listening to Him's pleading, punches Him in the face, causing Him to fall into a black hole of nothingness]'' NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

==Season 5==
===See Me, Feel Me, Gnomey [5.6]===
:'''Bossman''': ''[Singing]'' Townsville's goin' down! I'm gonna throw this paper on the ground!
:'''The Mayor''': ''[Singing]'' The babies can grow, and the little old folks, can walk real slooo-ho!
:'''Professor''': ''[Repeated line, singing]'' Do the people have to be freedom beef?
:'''The Gnome''': ''[The only unsung words in the entire episode, falling down to his demise]'' As I descend to the Earth, and I view the universe above me, I realize that life revolves, evolves, and dissolves, completely around the opposites. Therefore, I conclude that I cannot exist in my Utopian... ''[Closes his eyes]'' mind... ''[Hits the ground]''

==='Twas the Fight Before Christmas===
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Who would want a stupid old BB gun? 
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': ''[gasped]'' Princess!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Besides, you'll shoot your eye out. ''(cut to her)'' Since my daddy buys me anything I want, I only have one thing on my list for Santa: to be a Powerpuff Girl!
:'''Blossom:''' ''[to Princess]'' Don't hold your breath, Princess.
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' What? Why?!
:'''Bubbles''': Because Santa has his own list, and he checks it twice. It says who's naughty and who's nice.
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' So?
:'''Bubbles''': Duh! You're naughty!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[gasps]'' Nuh-uh!
:'''Blossom:''' Yeah-huh!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Nuh-uh!
:'''Buttercup:''' Yeah-huh!
:'''Princess Morbucks''': NUH-UH!!
:'''Bubbles''': YEAH-HUH!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Prove it!
:'''Blossom''': You bought the city and legalized crime!
:'''Buttercup''': You hired Mojo to try and destroy us!
:'''Bubbles''': You gave us a bomb for our birthday!
:'''Buttercup''': You teamed up with three felons and went on a crime spree!
:'''Bubbles''': You tricked our friend Robin into stealing! And then you tattled on her!
:'''Blossom''': You're a spoiled brat who's greedy and jealous! And you don't care who you step on to get what you want!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' And your point is?
:''[The Powerpuff Girls sit back down and sigh in frustration; then the bell rings]''
:'''Blossom''': The point, Princess, is that you better change your ways or all you're ever gonna get from Santa is a big, fat lump of coal in your stocking.
:''[Princess starts shaking angrily. But suddenly that sound of the Santa doll snaps her out of it. Pull back to show the toy walking slowly towards her; when it is within striking distance, she boots it hard enough to break it and send springs flying]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Spoiled?! Greedy?! Bratty?! Naughty?! NAAAAAUGHTYYYY?!?!? DRIVER! Do you know what those rotten old Powerpuffs said to me today?! They said I was naughty! Can you believe that?
:'''Driver:''' ''(coughs)'' Yes. ''[coughs]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Me?! Naughty?! I'm not naughty, am I?!
:'''Driver:''' Well, uh, I'll... oops! Seems my finger has slipped! ''[closes the window]'' Phew! That was close.
:''[The phone rings; the driver hesitates and slowly picks up the phone]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[on the phone]'' WELL?!? YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION!!
:'''Driver:''' KKKKKHHHH! You're-you're-you're breaking up! KKKKKHHH-KKKKKKKKHHHHH! I'm going through a-unnel! -Alk-late-
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[bangs on the window and sticks her head out]'' NO, WE'RE NOT!! I'M IN THE CAR, YOU TWIT!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Servant, tell me. Do you think that I'm naughty? ''[his eyes dart nervously about before her next word shakes the entire room]''  '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;WELL!?&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;'''''
:'''Servant''': ''[stammering]'' I think my...biscuits are burning. ''[dashes off]''
:''[Princess fumes and knocks her soup bowl aside]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Nanny!
:'''Nanny''': Yes? ''[forcing a smile]'' Sweetheart?
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Am I naughty?
:''[Tense pause]''
:'''Nanny''': Time for bed! Lights out. ''[runs off and The lights go out as the door to the hall slams. Princess glares after her for a moment]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Wait! I need another pillow! ''[pause; silence]'' Fine! I'll just go get it myself! ''[gets up from her bed to get another pillow and gets crushed by a bunch of coal]'' Naughty, huh? I'll show you who's naughty! ''[throws a piece of coal]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Well, this time, I am gonna be a Powerpuff Girl! ''[slams the door open]'' And I'm sure not gonna let some elf with a weight problem stop me! ''[gets into a cart driven by her driver]'' Ha! We'll show them! And I'll show those Powerpukes who's naughty and who's nice!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' So now every kid in the world gets coal! And I get what I've always deserved: ''[turning around; zoom in]'' To be a Powerpuff Girl!
:''[She fires lasers from her eyes; the girls bear the full brunt of this assault and drop like rocks, landing face first in the snow to cut three Powerpuff snow angels into it. They quickly emerge]''
:'''Buttercup''': This is so wrong! ''[Close-up of the other two]''
:'''Blossom''': How could Santa believe that Princess is nice?!
:'''Bubbles''': Excuse me?! How could Santa believe that I am naughty?! ''[Pan slightly to Buttercup]''
:'''Buttercup''': 'Cause you snooped on other people's presents!
:''[Bubbles gives her a hard sidelong glance of tranquil fury and takes a second or two to get herself under control]''
:'''Bubbles''': Look. I already told you, I only looked 'cause we didn't have any presents, so I wanted to see if any other kids had any presents.
:'''Blossom''': Enough chatter, girls. We better find Santa and fast.
:''[They start to take off into the night, but Princess blocks their exit]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Oh, no, you don't. ''[Zoom in slowly on her]'' I knew you conceited little ingrates wouldn't be able to accept the fact that Santa thinks you're naughty.
:''[On the end of this, cut to Blossom and Buttercup trading a suspicious look - they are starting to figure out the scam. Princess moves in a bit closer to the girls]''
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' But I'm not gonna let you brats ruin my Christmas.
:'''Buttercup''': ''[moving in on her]'' Forget it, Princess. We're so gonna tell Santa on you!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' ''[sweetly, flying away a short distance]'' Not if I tell on you first.
:''[She leaves a yellow light trail behind her]''
:'''Bubbles''': We didn't do anything?
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' Oh, yeah? ''[pitifully, hamming it up]'' &quot;Oh, Santa Claus, as the only nice child in the whole world, I felt it was my duty to warn you about the three naughty girls who were so angry you gave them coal...&quot; ''[Cut to them, bristling at this; she continues, offscreen]'' &quot;...that they're coming to destroy your workshop and ruin Christmas forever.&quot; ''[Back to her; she takes on the sweet tone again]'' Oh, Santa...
:''[She gives them her biggest and most vicious grin, drops to a rooftop, and bounces off it to head for the city proper, her laughter echoing in the air.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Santa Claus''': ''[angrily]'' Ho, ho, ho! ''[shift to frame all five]'' What's with all the crashing and the smashing, and the smashing and the crashing? Huh? I'm out delivering coal all night long, and I come home to the Smashing-and-Crashing Gang?!
:'''Bubbles''': But...
:'''Santa Claus''': Uh-uh! No buts! I ain't listenin' to no buts from some no-good naughty kids! And no no-good little naughty kids are gonna tell me what's what! 'Cause guess what? ANSWER ME!!!
:''[The four cringe at Santa's screaming]''
:'''Blossom''': ''[nervously]'' Uh...
:'''Santa Claus''': That's right! First time, first time it's ever happened. ''[walking to his computer]'' Every last little no-good, good-for-nothin' kid in the stinkin' world was naughty! ''[voice breaking]'' Naughty! Naughty! Naughty little kids the world over! ''[Princess Morbucks peeks in]'' Except for one. One nice sweet little girl.
:'''Buttercup''': You're wrong!
:'''Santa Claus''': ''[angrily]'' Oh, I am, huh?! ''[turning to them, holding printout]'' Well, I's gots the list, baby. Check it!
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Yeah! Check it! ''[kicks it over, sending a cascade of pages unfolding from the accordion stack toward the girls to bury them. They pop out, inspect different sections, and gasp at what they find: Remember, this is the &quot;nice&quot; list that was falsified]''
:'''Santa Claus''': Yeah! A million bazillion good-for-nothin's on this list! ''[holding up Post-It from his monitor]'' And one little itty bitty, perfect little angel over here.
:'''Princess Morbucks''': ''[sticking tongue out]'' Nyah! 
:'''Bubbles''': That's not right! Maybe you didn't check the list twice!
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah! Princess is the naughtiest kid ever!
:'''Blossom''': She must've snuck up here and switched the lists!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' NUH-UH!! Santa, don't listen to them! ''[points at the Powerpuff Girls]'' They're just jealous 'cause they got coal! ''[Powerpuff Girls stare at her angrily]'' They're jealous 'cause I'm nicer, I'm smarter, I'm prettier, and I'm better than them! So they wouldn't let me be a Powerpuff Girl! THAT MAKES THEM NAUGHTY!! ''[points at the girls]''
:'''Santa Claus:''' ''[remembering the girls]'' You mean ''the'' Powerpuff Girls? Not the same Powerpuff Girls who are always helping people and saving the day and being really good? I mean, REALLY good! ''[the Girls smile and nod]'' Yeah! Yeah! See, that explains all the flying and floating and stuff!
:'''Princess Morbucks:''' '''AHEM!!''' ''(Santa turns around)'' '''BUT ''I'' SHOULD BE A POWERPUFF GIRL!!! ME! Not them! Me! MY DADDY SAYS I'M BETTER! MY DADDY SAYS I'M THE BEST! AND IF YOU'RE TOO MUCH OF A FATHEADED FATHEAD TO SEE THAT, I'LL TELL MY DADDY!''' ''[She flies into another room]'' '''AND HE'LL COME AND BUILD A PARKING LOT OUTTA THIS CHEAP.. LITTLE..''' ''[She kicks 2 toys]'' '''ARTS AND CRAFTS...''' ''[She throws another toy]'' '''POPSICLE STAND OF YOURS!!''' ''[She breaks another toy]'' '''GET IT?!''' ''[She flies up to Santa]'' '''SO YOU BETTER GIVE ME WHATEVER I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS, 'CAUSE MY DADDY SAYS I GET WHATEVER I WANT! WHENEVER I WANT IT! AND IF THAT MEANS ALL OF THOSE LOUSY, WORTHLESS, SECOND RATE BARGAIN BASEMENT BRATS OF THE WORLD DON'T GET ANYTHING FOR CHRISTMAS, THEN THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONNA HAVE TO BE!! 'CAUSE I AM BETTER THAN THEM!! AND IT SAYS SO RIGHT HERE!!''' ''[She grabs a note and puts it up to Santa's face]'' '''SO PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT, SANTA CLOD!!!'''
:''[There is a shockful silence for a few seconds; suddenly, Santa gets really angry]''
:'''Santa Claus:''' '''LIST SCHMIST!!! I DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' LIST TELLIN' ME WHO'S NAUGHTY AND WHO'S NICE!!''' ''[He grabs the note and starts tearing it up]'' '''YA KNOW WHY?! 'CAUSE I'M SANTA CLAUS!! CHECK IT! PRINCESS...''' ''[He grabs Princess by the ear]'' '''YOU HAVE GONE AND WORKED OFF MY LAST NERVE!'''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! ''[She starts rubbing her ear]''
:'''Santa Claus''': I have no other choice. You are so rotten, SO despicable, so naughty, I'm putting you on the... ''[points up at a really big and tall naughty list]'' '''PERMANENT NAUGHTY PLAQUE!!!''' BUM BUM BUMMMMMMMM!
:''[Princess gasps in unmitigated fear, knowing that justice is about to be served. Extreme close-up of Santa's lifted index finger and follow it slowly through the air as he brings it to his nose. He touches the tip; a flash of snowflakes, and Princess' name is now cut into the metal as well, signifiying her permanent naughty status for the rest of her life. She screams in horror at the sight; back to Santa, his arms folded in finality]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': '''AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! I'M TELLING MY DADDY!!!'''
:''[She takes off and smashes an exit for herself through the office wall. Visible only as a bright speck, she makes a beeline for the distant mountains. Santa and the girls move closer to the hole to watch her go. He turns to them, holds up his finger without a word, and touches it to his nose. Cut to the fleeing Princess who, in a flash, suddenly finds herself back in her street clothes. She soars along a few hundred yards more before realizing that she has been stripped of her powers, then loses her forward momentum and drops from sight with a sharp gasp. Screaming, she plummets toward the snowy expanse and plows deep into it. A second later, she slowly emerges from the hole, with snow covering her from head to toe, and forces her eyes open through the covering. Pull back into the office; she cannot be seen from this far away]''
:'''Princess Morbucks''': '''NO FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIR!!!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Princess flies in front of Buttercup, who is shocked; Princess then slaps her]''
:'''Buttercup''': Ow! Quit it!
:''[Princess slaps her again]''
:'''Buttercup''': Ow! Quit it!
:''[Princess slaps her once again]''
:'''Buttercup''': Ow! Quit it!
:''[An annoyed Buttercup jumps on Princess' back and kicks her far away from herself]''
:'''Buttercup''': QUIT IIIIIIIIIT!!!!!
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Thanks, Einstein!
:''[Buttercup stares at Princess, but then Blossom and Bubbles grab her]''
:'''Blossom''': Good job, Buttercup.
:'''Bubbles''': Yeah, nice one.
:'''Buttercup''': Oh, shut up!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks''': Now, if I were a big, fat, bearded oaf, where would I keep that stupid list?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Morbucks''': ''[Referring to Santa]'' Who does that blimp think he is denying ''me'' presents?! Ohh!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Buttercup''': ''[To Bubbles]'' I'm busy.
:'''Blossom''': Doing what?
:'''Buttercup''': Writing my wish list for Santa.
:'''Bubbles''': Are you crazy?! You're only giving him 2 days to prepare?! And that's even if he gets it on time!
:'''Buttercup''': Oh, yeah? When did you send yours, Smarty Pants?
:'''Bubbles''': December 26.
:'''Buttercup''': Ha! That's ''after'' Christmas!
:'''Bubbles''': December 26, last year!
:''[She blows Buttercup a raspberry]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Professor''':  Every year, it's the same darn thing! I can make three little kids out of seasoning, but I can't get these lights to work!

===The Boys are Back in Town [5.5]===
:'''Narrator:''': And their day, the girls even manage to humble... HIM.
:''[In his lair, Him is angrily watching the Powerpuff Girls on TV having saved the day once again]''
:'''Buttercup''': ''[On TV]'' Yeah, it was rough in the beginning, but I paced myself and just wore the monster down.
:'''Blossom''': ''[On TV]'' We were just glad to be of service. Good job, girls!
:'''Him''': ''[mocking Blossom; effeminate voice]'' &quot;We were just glad to be of service. Good job, girls!&quot; ''[demonic voice]'' '''Blah! Blast the Powerpuff brats! They disgust me! So ''effortless!'' They seem to be unbeatable.''' ''[effeminate]'' All these years, and all the villains have produced nothing. So much time, such little results. ''[demonic]'' '''There ''must'' be a way. There must be someone who can knock those brats down to size!''' ''[groans and sits down on his chair; effeminate]'' Oh, boy. ''[suddenly sees something on the TV and slowly smiles; demonic]'' '''Oh, ''boy''...'''  

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Rowdyruff Boys have been resurrected (complete with meaner-looking hairstyles)]''
:'''Blossom''': The Rowdyruff Boys?!
:'''Buttercup''': But that's impossible!!
:'''Bubbles''': We blew you guys up!
:'''Brick''': ''[Smirking]'' Yeah? Well, you can't stop a good thing, babe!
:''[The Girls suddenly start to snicker]''
:'''Brick''': Stop laughing! What are you laughing at?!
:'''Blossom''': ''[Mocking; her hands are on her hips]'' Ooooh(!) Look who's back with mean hair(!)
:'''Bubbles''': ''[Mocking]'' Oh, whatever shall we do?
:'''Buttercup''': ''[Mocking]'' How can we defeat their scary new hairdos?
:''[Boomer naively inspects his hair, while Butch twitches, eager to fight. The Girls continue to laugh, and Brick gets more and more irritated until he finally snaps.]''
:'''Brick''': '''''SILEEEEEEEEEEENCE!!!!!''''' ''[the Girls stop]'' You stupid, wimpy, lame-o girls ''talk'' too much!
:'''Blossom''': &quot;STUPID&quot;?!
:'''Buttercup''': &quot;WIMPY&quot;?!
:'''Bubbles''': &quot;LAME-O&quot;?!
:'''Brick''': You girls just got lucky last time. This time, there's no way you're gonna beat my boys!
:'''Butch''': Butch!
:'''Boomer''': Boomer!
:'''Brick''': And me, Brick!
:''[Boomer sees a fly buzzing over his head, and playfully swats at it]''
:'''Brick''': ''[annoyed]'' Pay attention!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[giggling]'' Are you guys sure you're ready for another beating?
:'''Boomer''': ''[trying to sound tough]'' You girls are gonna eat your words, spit 'em out, and eat 'em again!
:'''Blossom''': ... That doesn't even make sense.
:'''Boomer''': I know you are, but what am I?!
:'''Buttercup''': Enough! Talk is cheap! Let's do this!
:'''Butch''': ''[snickers dementedly]'' This is gonna be fun!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Blossom''': All right, girls. I think we know what we have to do. Let's give 'em some sugar!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[eagerly]'' Ooh, ooh, I want the blonde! I think he's cute!
:'''Buttercup''': ''Man'', you're weird!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Brick''': Your [[w:cooties|cootie]]-kisses only make us bigger!
:'''Boomer''': Stronger!
:'''Butch''': And tougher!
:'''Brick''': ''[laughs]'' You stupid lame-o girls never learn. Now it's time to put these babies to bed!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Him interrupts the fight between the Powerpuff Girls and Rowdyruff Boys]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Hello, girls!
:'''Powerpuff Girls''': ''[gasp]'' Him!
:'''Him''': So nice to see you again! How's things? Not so good? Having a little boy trouble, hmm? Or should I say... ''[demonic]'' '''BIG boy trouble?!'''
:''[The Boys - now huge after being kissed by the Girls several times - land behind Him]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Hello, Boys. ''[demonic]'' '''You're doing just fine.''' ''[to the Girls, effeminate]'' So, how does it feel, Girls, to know defeat is just around the corner... ''[demonic]'' '''and victory for me is at hand?!'''
:'''Blossom''': So ''you're'' behind this, Him! What did you do to make our kisses powerless?!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Oh, that. That's my little secret. You see, I realized that the Boys' only weakness ''[demonic]'' '''was your pathetic little kisses. And since I''' ''[effeminate]'' knew you would resort to that, I added a little something extra: a cootie vaccination! &quot;[[w:Circle Circle Dot Dot|Circle, Circle, Dot, Dot; now you have a cootie shot!]]&quot; ''[laughs]'' I got the spell off the Internet. But your kisses aren't totally useless, girls. ''[demonic]'' '''They make my boys bigger and more powerful!''' ''[laughs; effeminate]'' At last, I win! Have fun, girls! Ta-ta!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Brick''': You calling us STUPID?!
:'''Boomer''': We'll show you stupid! ''[Boomer crosses his arms and smiles proudly. Brick slaps him]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[After the Powerpuff Girls finally defeat the Rowdyruff Boys by shrinking them down to size, Him comes back, angry]''
:'''Him:''' ''[demonic]'' '''CAN'T YOU LITTLE BRATS DO ''ANYTHING'' RIGHT?! I SENT YOU TO DESTROY THEM, AND WHAT DO YOU DO?!''' ''[effeminate]'' You get all ''sissified''! 
:''[With a wave of his claw, he makes the Boys vanish. The Girls smile in triumph]''
:'''Him''': Oh, don't look so smug, girls. Though you may have won this time, ''[Aku voice]'' '''it was a lucky victory and you know it!''' ''[effeminate]'' In time, you ''[Aku voice]'' '''will''' ''[effeminate]'' fall, and we ''[Aku voice]'' '''will''' ''[effeminate]'' defeat you! So keep on your toes, stay alert, ''[Aku voice]'' '''and watch your back... because the boys are back in town!''' ''[vanishes in a spiral of smoke, laughing]''
:'''Blossom''': Oh, boy...
:'''Narrator''': &quot;Oh, boy&quot; is right! It seems the battle of the sexes has begun! Let's just hope the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!

===Bubble Boy [5.9b]===
:'''Brick''': ''[he and his brothers drank 3 cans of soda]'' Man, beating up people for fun is really fun!
:'''Boomer''': Yeah! Beating up people for fun is really fun! ''[Brick throws a can in Boomer's face]'' Ow!
:'''Brick''': Dude! That's the dumbest thing you said all DAY!
:'''Boomer''': Well you said the same thing!
:'''Brick''': Yeah, but it sounds COOL coming out of my mouth!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Boomer''': I don't care what they say; I'm ''not'' as dumb as I look.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': What are we going to do?
:''[Bubbles is now dressed as Boomer]''
:'''Bubbles''': Well, how do I look?
:'''Boomer''': ''[Boomer is now in his underwear]'' Boy, do you look dumb!
:'''Blossom''': Need we say more?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom''': Gee, Professor, you sure outdid yourself with that containment ray.
:'''Professor''': I'll say! Once again, I have no idea what I did!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bubbles''': ''[as Boomer]'' Uh, hi! It's me, Boomer, your brother!
:'''Brick''': We ''know'' you're our brother. We're not as stupid as you!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Brick''': I know, let's punch each other in the face until someone says, “Hey, stop punching me in the face.” You first, Boomer. ''[punches Bubbles, who is posing as Boomer.]''
:''[Brick and Butch laugh; Bubbles gets teary-eyed]''
:'''Buttercup''': Don't cry, Bubbles. You'll give yourself away.
:'''Bubbles''': Heh, funny. Okay, my turn.
:'''Brick''': Nah, I'm sick of that game.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Bubbles sprays &quot;Flowers are pretty... dumb!&quot; on a wall]''
:'''Butch''': For a second there, I thought you were turning girly on us.
:'''Brick''': Yeah! And &quot;dum-buh&quot;?  Geez, Boomer, if you're gonna do graffiti, at least spell the words right!  Sheesh, talk about &quot;dum-buh&quot;.
:'''Butch''': Yeah! What a &quot;dum-bee&quot;!
:''[Brick &amp; Butch laugh]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Brick''':Hey, I thought you loved cock-a-roaches. Don't you looove cock-a-roaches?
:'''Bubbles''': ''[forcing a smile]'' Well..sure. Sure I do. I love those little guys.
:'''Brick''': Hey, I believe you. That's why you have no problem... EATING IT!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Professor''': ''[after Bubbles captures the Rowdyruff Boys on her own]'' Bubbles! I could hardly contain myself hiding in the closet.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Professor''': ''[after Bubbles apologizes]'' That's alright, Bubbles. I'm sorry you had to eat a cockroach!
:'''Bubbles''': ''[who is still posing as Boomer]'' That's okay, it tasted like CHICKEN!

===The City of Clipsville [5.8b]===
:'''Blossom''': Come on, girls. It's from the time that the Professor accidentally turned us into babies.
:''(During this line, WD to the exterior of the house at night; when the transition occurs, the rest of her words are heard as a voice over. The scene is very peaceful—until a huge explosion erupts from the ground and hides the entire structure. When the smoke clears, we see the Professor in the lab. He is covered with soot and holding a beaker of liquid, and both he and the area are in a state of total disarray. Close-up of his face)''
:'''Professor''': ''(reassuringly)'' Oh, don't worry about the noise, girls. I've just invented a potion that will keep you young foreve— (cuts himself off on this last word upon looking down toward the floor. Cut to his feet, where the girls have undergone a dramatic transformation: they are now infants in diapers, and his mixture worked a bit too well. Safety pins in the respective colors of Bubbles and Buttercup can be seen fastening those two girls' diapers, but the camera angle obscures the one on Blossom’s. She wears her bow but no ponytail, and she is bawling at the top of her lungs sports a single tuft of blond hair at the top of her head and sucks on a pacifier. Buttercup has only a bit of straight black hair and shakes a rattle discontentedly. A flash of white, and we are back to the present)''
:'''Bubbles''': ''(laughing)'' Oh, yes, now I remember.
:''(Flash to this same bit of history. Close-up of the Professor's upper body as he lifts baby Blossom partially into view; she is still crying)''
:'''Professor''': There, there, now. Just let it all out. ''(a pronounced squelching sound is heard, and she sighs with relief and smiles, losing steam)'' There, doesn't that…feel...ugh...better? ''(turn down a bit to show Blossom’s diaper, which she has filled so much that it hangs down almost to his waist. The sound just heard needs no explanation. Close-up of his head and shoulders; he lifts her into view and starts patting her back to burp her. Now her hair can be seen—short, red-orange, with a puff in back that marks the start of a ponytail)'' Oh, aren't you just a little angel? ''(she coos happily and spits up; he grimaces at the sound of it. WD to the present. Blossom has put the bottle away)''
:'''Buttercup''': Yeah. And remember how the Professor turned everyone into babies?
:''(WD to a close-up of an exhausted Professor, out in the city, and pull back. Throngs of squalling infants are heard from o.c. initially, and the source of the din is revealed to be exactly that. He holds several babies, including a top-hatted one that can only be the Mayor and another, with curly red-orange hair, who must be Ms. Bellum. Around him are enough newborns to populate the entire city. WD to the present)''
:'''Blossom''': And remember when we lost our superpowers?
:''(WD to Mojo, laughing from the hatch of a helicopter. In his hand is a briefcase labeled &quot;TOP SECRET GOVERNMENT STUFF.&quot; He hoists himself into the pilot’s seat; pull back to show him lifting off from the roof of a building—the Top Secret Government Headquarters. The girls run out of an access door on the roof and look up after him; close-up of them)''
:'''Blossom''': Let's get him!
:''(They run o.c. toward the edge. Pan in that direction to show nothing but Blossom's bow spinning in midair, as three terrified screams echo and fade away. They have jumped off the roof and gone into free fall instead of taking flight; the bow follows them down. WD to the present)''
:'''Blossom''': ''(smiling)'' Yeah. That got messy.
:'''Buttercup''': Hey! Remember when we sped up time and became teenagers— ''(she picks up a small item and opens it, revealing it to be a makeup compact. Zoom in on her)'' —and wore makeup and gave up crime-fighting and hung out at the mall and stuff?
:''(During the end of this line, there is a WD to the exterior of the Townsville Mall. The rest of Buttercup’s words are a voice over after this point. Zoom in on the entrance and dissolve to a point near the high, glass-domed ceiling. Turn down to the sound of music on the PA system and the mingled voices of the customers. In the background, two girls have their backs to the camera and are leaning over a railing to look down at the lower floors. The fact that neither girl has any visible fingers gives them away as teenaged versions of Blossom and Bubbles. When they speak, they sound like Valley Girls)''
:'''Teen Bubbles''': Oh, my gosh! Check it out. (turning toward Teen Blossom; she wears makeup) She is, like, so wrong in those pants. ''(blows a bubble from a wad of gum)''
:'''Teen Blossom''': Like, yeah, girlfriend. ''(her cell phone goes off, playing the show's main theme as its ring tone, and answers it)'' Hello? Oh, my gosh. We were just talking about you! Where are you?
:'''Teen Buttercup''': Over here.
:'''Teen Blossom''': Oh...hey. So you going to Todd's tonight?
:'''Teen Buttercup''': I don’t know. I gotta get on the treadmill. I just majorly pigged out on a donut. ''(sighs)'' If they only had, like, candy-flavored salad or something. ''(her eyes go wide as she lowers her phone. Flash to the present; all three girls are a bit uneasy at this memory. Buttercup has put the compact away)''
:'''Buttercup''': And then we discovered boys.
:''(Flash to the two teens on their phones. Teen Buttercup hunches over hers)''
:'''Teen Buttercup''': ''(hushed)'' Blossom! Look!
:''(They lower the phone and gaze raptly toward the camera for a long moment. Cut to their perspective: a patch of floor, with three long shadows cast on it from a distance in front. Turn up slowly to their source—the Rowdyruff Boys as teens)''
:'''Teen Bch''': ''(reading a magazine)'' Wow.
:'''Teen Bubbles''': ''(on her phone)'' Tell me about it. Like, that's what I said. Hang on a sec—
:'''Teen Blossom''': ''(nudging her)'' Bubbles, quick! Look!
:''(Teen Bubbles turns her head; close-up of her as she drops the phone and her eyes pop. Cut to Teen Boomer, who is drinking a soda. He drains it, sighs contentedly, and directs a come-hither look at the camera. All three girls are positively smitten)''
:'''Teen Bubbles''': ''(hushed)'' Oh, we shouldn't talk to them. They're bad.
:'''Teen Blossom and Teen Buttercup''': ''(smiling wickedly)'' I know.
:''(Cut to Teens Bubbles and Boomer together. The lower portion of the glass dome is in the background)''
:'''Teen Boomer''': So...wassup?
:'''Teen Bubbles''': Oh, um...you know...hangin' out. ''(two patrons scream; she laughs)'' What's up with you? 
:''(The monster lashes outs its tongue, smashing through the dome, and snaps someone up. The teens do not notice as it swallows)''
:'''Teen Boomer''': You know...hangin' out. ''(the monster sinks out of sight)''
:'''Teen Bubbles''': ''(laughing)'' For sure.
:''(Back to her sisters; their counterparts sidle up to them)''
:'''Teen Butch''': So wassup, ladies?
:'''Teen Brick''': You goin' to Todd's tonight?
:''(Behind them, a couple of gun-toting robbers run to the entrance of a jewelry store and stop briefly. One of them directs a hand signal o.c. behind himself. The teens pay no heed)''
:'''Teen Blossom''': Um...I have to study for an algebra test. ''(the robbers enter)'' For my English class. ''(several others follow)'' What are you doing?
:''(The sound and flash of automatic weapons fire emanate from the store)''
:'''Teen Brick''': Uh...going to Todd's.
:'''Teen Blossom''': ''(laughing)'' Oh! ''(explosion, alarm, and the robbers run out with the loot)'' What a coincidence.
:''(He seems a bit annoyed at her clueless response. Cut to Teens Bch and Bcup. Behind them, a man fiddles with an ATM)''
:'''Teen Buttercup''': So what are you driving now? ''(the man runs o.c.; the machine starts to beep)''
:'''Teen Butch''': Oh, I'm rockin' a new Escalade. ''(sparks fly)'' Wanna take a ride?
:'''Teen Buttercup''': Uh, that's okay. ''(the ATM explodes)'' We rode the one up from the first level.
:''(Teen Butch is nonplussed; the man and a partner run through the smoking hole in the wall)''
:'''Teen Butch''': Yeah, I just put an MP3 player in it.
:'''Teen Buttercup''': Oh, cool! I love that game.
:''(He is caught off guard by this non sequitur. Behind the two, the smoke clears and the men emerge, fleeing with a wagonload of cash. Cut to the exterior of the mall and pull back slowly, as explosions ravage the surrounding buildings)''
:'''Teen Buttercup''': ''(from inside)'' How about you, Blossom? Wanna take a ride on Butch's escalator?
:'''Teen Blossom''': ''(from inside)'' Sure. What floor?
:''(A flying saucer pulls into view and starts shooting at the skyline, and a large red beast, with lobster claws in place of hands, roars as it stomps into view. WD to the present)''
:'''Buttercup''': Boy, were we dumb.
:'''Blossom''': Yeah. Let's remember something else.

===Toast of the Town [5.2a]===
:'''Mayor of Townsville''': Mayor want toast! Mayor want toast!
:'''Professor Utonium''': Look I'm a scientist not a mechanic, what you need to do is take your toaster to the manufacturer and have a certified mechanic fix it.
:''[Mayor starts to get mad]''
:'''Mayor of Townsville''': MAYOR WANT TOAST! MAYOR WANT TOAST!
:'''Professor Utonium''': ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I'll have a look at your toaster. But the I've got to get back to my experiments.
:'''Mayor''': Oh, goody, goody! ''[starts to jump up and down] Is it done yet?
:'''Professor''': No.
:'''Mayor''': How about now?
:'''Professor''': No
:'''Mayor''': Now?
:'''Professor''': No.
:'''Mayor''': Now it's done right?
:'''Professor''': No, no, no, it's not done. Look, I don't really know what I'm doing,so it's gonna take a while.Why don't you just wait over there,and I'll let you know when I'm finished.
:'''Mayor''': Oh...OK.
:'''Professor''': And don't touch anything!
:'''Mayor''': ''[peeps over the table]'' Ooh...What does this button do? ''[presses the button, which starts an alarm. Then there's a rumble. He walks over to where the professor is and there was an explosion. The blast pushed the Mayor and the Professor in his chair away]'' Whee! Do it Again! Do it again!
:'''Professor''': Oh, no. You're gonna sit right here, be a good little Mayor, and stay put while I work on your toaster. And if you're quiet, you can have some candy. Good boy. ''[puts the mayor in a highchair, and gives him a jar full candy. Then he starts rattling in the jar]
:'''Mayor''': Say, these are all lemon! Somebody ate all the Goody cherry candies! ''[throws jar on the ground]'' Mayor want cherry! Mayor want cherry!
:'''Professor''': ''[runs to him with an industrial size bag cherry candies]'' Here, cherry. ''[gives him the bag]''  Now please, let me work in peace. ''[walks away]''
:'''Mayor''': Oh, goody! Oops. Uh-oh. ''[runs under the table and crawls under to get the candy]'' Ooh! Another shiny button! ''[presses the button and the lab begins to shake]'' Help! ''[the lab stops shaking]'' Huh? ''[Chemical X is changed]'' Ooh!
:'''Professor''': ''[working on the mayor's toaster and removes his shades]'' Mayor? He's being too quiet. ''[sneaks inside]'' Mayor? What are you ''[alarmed]'' DOING?!
:'''Mayor''': ''[humming, puts the chemical x on his head]'' Mayor want hair.
:'''Professor''': No! Mayor, stop!
:'''Mayor''': Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Mayor gotta hair! Mayor gotta hair! Yummy 'X' powder made Mayor's hair grow! ''[looks around]'' Professor. Professor?
:'''Professor''': Your hair wasn't the only thing that grew, Mr. Mayor.
:'''Mayor''': ''[looks down]'' Wowie zowie. 
:'''Professor''': Wowie zowie, indeed. Have you no shame? A grown man your age gallivanting around like a little child, not doing what you're told! &quot;Mayor wanna this. Mayor wanna that.&quot; You, Mr. Mayor, are nothing but a baby, a big, big, big baby.
:'''Mayor''': ''[crying like a baby]'' Wah! Don't say that! Wah! ''[runs off]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom''': Professor! What's going on?
:'''Professor''': Oh, it's the mayor, girls. He got into my chemical X so I scolded him, and now he's run off pouting.

==Season 6==
===Custody Battle [6.7a]===
:''[Mojo sees the Rowdyruff Boys for the first time since they've been revived]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': The Rowdyruff Boys?! This is not possible! How is it that something that was destroyed can exist again?! I demand an explanation as to how something that was destroyed can exist again!
:''[The Boys exchange looks.]''
:'''Brick''': Duh! Nice hat, dorko!
:''[The Boys laugh and high five each other.]''
:'''Mojo''': How dare you talk to your father that way?! 
:'''Rowdyruff Boys''': Father?!
:''[They laugh even harder, until Him suddenly appears behind the boys]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Yes, it seems that the boys have a new father now! 
:'''Mojo''': What?!
:'''Him''': ''I'' brought the boys back, so ''I'' am their father now!
:'''Mojo''': Incorrect! The Rowdyruff Boys were ''my'' idea, which means ''I'' was the original creator! Yes, it was I who originally created them, which means it was ''I'' whose creativity led to the origin of the idea which resulted in the creation of them! Therefore, the idea originated before the actual creating began, resulting in total origination of all creativity!
:'''Brick''': ''[Scratching his head mockingly]'' Yeah... I didn't get that the first time. Can you repeat that?
:''[The Boys laugh and high five each other again. Him laughs along with them]''
:'''Him''': I'm sorry, Mojo. But your creation was destroyed by the Powerpuff Girls. ''[demonic]'' '''And would probably still be destroyed''' ''[effeminate]'' if ''I'' didn't revive them! Besides, seeing how ''I'' made them better, they should ''[demonic]'' '''remain mine!'''
:'''Mojo''': Better?! How can you make Mojo Jojo's design of the Rowdyruff Boys any better?!
:''[Him laughs]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' By making them immune to the Powerpuff's girly kisses! Now they ''can't'' be destroyed by the mere talk of cooties! ''[demonic]'' '''So why don't you run along, chimp-chump?!'''
:''[Mojo loses his temper]''
:'''Mojo''': Those boys were created to do pure evil, which makes ''me'' the more fit father, since I ''am'' pure evil!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Oh, I'm sorry! But nobody does evil ''[demonic]'' '''THE WAY I DO!'''
:'''Mojo''': That is not so!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Is so!
:'''Mojo''': Is not so!
:'''Him''': Is so!
:'''Mojo''': Is not!
:'''Him''': Is so!
:'''Mojo''': Is not!
:'''Him''': Is so!
:'''Mojo''': Is not!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Is so!'''
:'''Mojo''': Is not!
:'''Him''': '''IS SO!'''
:'''Mojo''': Very well, then! Since you will not acknowledge that I, Mojo Jojo, the original creator of the Rowdyruff Boys, who were originally created by ''me'', and the more evil father, you leave me no alternative but to ''prove'' that ''I'' am the more evil father, therefore making ''me'' the better parent!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Fine, then! ''[demonic]'' '''And ''I'' will prove that ''I'' am the evilest parent!'''
:'''Mojo''': Very well, then!
:'''Both''': ''[Him; effeminate]'' Let the evil begin!   
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' Behold! The TRCP-800.
:'''Boomer:''' You mean &quot;Totally Rad City Pulverizer&quot;?
: ''[Mojo gives him an exasperated look.]''
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' No, dum-dum.
:''[Brick hits Boomer.]''
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' &quot;The Remote-Control Pickle&quot;!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Brick:''' You mean &quot;we can blow things up and stuff? 
:'''Mojo:''' Mmm-hmm.
:'''Brick:''' Anything?
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' Anything.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Him prepares to blow up the sun, destroying the Earth in the process]''
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Splendidly evil, ''[demonic]'' '''isn't it?'''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Evil?! How about STUPID?! Yes, thanks to your foolishness, we will be reduced to nothing! Nothing! Like the amount of intelligence inside your head! Nothing! Like the amount of respect I get after ''6 SEASONS ON THIS SHOW''!!! 
:''[Him turns the sun back to normal]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': No, you are ''not'' the more evil parent! You are the more STUPID parent, which makes you unfit to be the father of these boys!
:'''Him''': ''[effeminate]'' Is not so!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Is so!
:'''Him''': Not so!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Is so!
:'''Him''': Not so!
:'''Mojo Jojo''': Is so!
:'''Him''': ''[demonic]'' '''Not so!'''
:'''Rowdyruff Boys''': SHUT UP!!!
:'''Brick''': We don't care which one of you is more eviler, or more stupider, or whateverer! There's only one evil thing we care about, and that's destroying the Powerpuff Girls!
:'''Rowdyruff Boys''': ''[give a group high five]'' Yeah!
:'''Brick''': Let's go!
:''[The boys fly to Townsville. Mojo and Him begin to cry with joy]''
:'''Mojo Jojo''': My... that's the evilest thing I can imagine.
:'''Him''': ''[sniffs; effeminate]'' All you can do is raise them the best you know how, and hope they turn out right.
:'''Mojo Jojo and Him''': ''[to each other in unison]'' I'm so proud of them!
:''[The two villains put an arm around each other]''
:'''Narrator''': And so, with Mojo and Him finally happy together, the day is doomed, thanks to... the Rowdyruff Boys.

===Simian Says [6.9b]===
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' ''[after kidnapping the Narrator and taking his place]'' The city of Townsville. A city that, while being a city, is for some inexplicable reason called &quot;Town.&quot; And not only is it called a &quot;Town,&quot; but also a &quot;Ville,&quot; thus making it a city, town, and village, which seems to me to be redundant and repetitive, which can be quite annoying if you ask me, which you have no choice but to do, for now I, Mojo Jojo, am in charge of... the city of Townsville!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Buttercup:''' In the stomach or in the face?
:'''Mojo Jojo:''' How about a third type of opinion?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blossom:''' Something feels not right.
:'''Bubbles''': We beat up Mojo...
:'''Buttercup''': And saved the day...
:'''Blossom''': But, what? ''[They think for a moment]''
: ''[The sound of muffled cries is heard.]''
:'''Bubbles''': Hey, girls! Look!
:''[He points to a door and Blossom opens it. She then pulls off a piece of tape from the mouth of someone out of the scene.]''
:'''Narrator:''' OW! Oh, girls, thank goodness it's you! I can finally end this nightmare! So once again the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!
:'''Buttercup:''' I knew something was missing!
:'''Blossom:''' Goodnight, folks!
:''[Long pause as the girls simply float on the ending titles screen.]''
:'''Buttercup:''' ''[Impatiently]'' Now what?
:'''Narrator:''' Er... could I have a ride home?
:'''BBs:''' Of course!

===Nuthin' Special [6.14a]===
:'''Buttercup:''' Huh! Forget it! I ain't got no special skills! I ain't special!
:'''Blossom:''' Aww. Buttercup, you may not have a special power.
:'''Bubbles''': But you're still special.
:'''Buttercup:''' But-- ''[Turns around]'' But-- but nothin'! I thought I had a special power, but I don't! I THOUGHT I WAS SPECIAL, BUT I'M NOT!! SO THERE!!
:''[Buttercup sticks her tongue out at her sisters and curls it; and Blossom look shocked]''
:'''Bubbles''': What did you just do?!
:'''Buttercup:''' What?! Stick my tongue out?! You wanna see that again so you can copy that too?! Well, here!
:''[She sticks her tongue out again and once again curls it]''
:'''Blossom:''' You can...
:'''Bubbles''': Curl your tongue?
:'''Buttercup:''' Yeah, so? What's the big deal? I've always been able to do that. See?
:''[She once again sticks her tongue out and curls it again]''

===Octi-Gone [6.15b]===
:''[last lines of the series]''
:''[Everyone, including Bubbles, Blossom, and Buttercup angrily wait outside the bathroom door, waiting for Mojo.]''
:'''Bubbles:''' ''MOJO!!!'' You get out of there right now! You're nothing but a big party crasher!
:'''Narrator:''' And so once again, the day is saved. Thanks to The Powerpuff Girls and the contaminated cream pie.

=== ''The Powerpuff Girls Movie'' ===
See ''[[The Powerpuff Girls Movie]]'' for quotes on the entire movie

==Recurring Quotes==
:'''Narrator:''' ''[Title Sequence Narration]'' Sugar... spice... and everything nice. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little girls. But Professor Utonium accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction...Chemical X!-- Thus the Powerpuff Girls were born! Using their ultra-superpowers, Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup have dedicated their lives to fighting crime and the forces of evil!

==Voice Cast==
* Blossom - [[w:Cathy Cavadini|Cathy Cavadini]]
* Bubbles - [[w:Tara Strong|Tara Strong]]
* Buttercup - [[w:Elizabeth Daily|Elizabeth Daily]]

==See also==
* ''[[The Powerpuff Girls (2016 TV series)|The Powerpuff Girls]] (2016)''

{{wikipedia}}

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[[Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
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  <page>
    <title>The Little Mermaid (1989 film)</title>
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      <text bytes="15343" xml:space="preserve">'''''[[w:The Little Mermaid (1989 film)|The Little Mermaid]]''''' is a [[w:1989 in film|1989]] film by Walt Disney Pictures, based on the [[w:The Little Mermaid|fairy tale of the same name]] by [[w:Hans Christian Andersen|Hans Christian Andersen]].

: ''Written and directed by [[w:Ron Clements|Ron Clements]] and [[w:John Musker|John Musker]].
{{center|''' Somewhere under the sea and beyond your imagination is an adventure in fantasy. '''&lt;small&gt;[[#Tagline|Tagline]]&lt;/small&gt;}}

== Dialogue ==
:''[Scuttle shows Ariel and Flounder a tobacco pipe]''
:'''Scuttle''': This, I haven't seen this in years. This is wonderful! A banded, bulbous snarfblatt.
:'''Ariel and Flounder''': Oh!
:'''Scuttle''': Now, the snarfblatt dates back to prehistorical times when humans used to sit around and stare at each other all day. Got very boring. So they invented this snarfblatt to make fine music. Allow me. ''[blows into it, only to have seaweed and water come out]''
:'''Ariel''': Music!
:'''Scuttle''': ''[coughs]'' It's stuck!
:'''Ariel''': Oh, the concert! Oh, my gosh! My father's gonna kill me!
:'''Flounder''': The concert was today?!
:'''Scuttle''': ''[inspects the &quot;snarfblatt&quot; further]'' Maybe you can make a little planter out of it or somethin'.
:'''Ariel''': ''[takes it back]'' I'm sorry! I've gotta go! Thank you, Scuttle!
:''[she and Flounder swim back home]''
:'''Scuttle''': Anytime, sweetie! Anytime.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ursula''': Yes. Hurry home, princess. We wouldn't want to miss old daddy's celebration, huh? Would we? ''[scoffs]'' Celebration, indeed. Oh, BAH! In my day, we had fantastical feasts, when I lived in the palace. ''[eats shrimp]'' And now, look at me. Wasted away to practically nothing. Banished and exiled and practically starving! While he and his flimsy fish folk celebrate. Well, I'll give 'em something to celebrate soon enough. ''[to her eels]'' FLOTSAM! JETSAM! I want you to keep an extra close watch on this pretty little daughter of his. She may be the key to Triton's undoing.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Triton''': You went up to the surface again, didn't you? ''DIDN'T'' you?!
:'''Ariel''': Nothing happened.
:'''Triton''': ''[exasperatedly]'' Ariel, how many times must we go through this? You could've been seen by one of those barbarians. By... By one of those... ''HUMANS!''
:'''Ariel''': Daddy, they're not barbarians!
:'''Triton''': They are ''DANGEROUS!'' Do you think I want to see my youngest daughter snared by some fish-eater's hook?!
:'''Ariel''': I'm 16 years old! I'm not a child anymore!
:'''Triton''': Don't you take that tone of voice with me, young lady! As long as you live under my ocean, you'll obey ''MY'' rules!
:'''Ariel''': But if you would just listen!
:'''Triton''': ''NOT ANOTHER WORD!'' And I will never, ''NEVER'' hear of you going to the surface again! ''IS THAT CLEAR?!''
:''[disappointed, Ariel swims away]''
:'''Sebastian''': Teenagers. Dey think dey know everything. You give dem an inch, dey swim all over you.
:'''Triton''': Do you think I was too hard on her?
:'''Sebastian''': Definitely not! Why, if Ariel was my daughter, I'd show her who was boss. None of this flitting to the surface and other such nonsense. No, sir! I'd keep her under tight control.
:'''Triton''': ''[smiles]'' You're absolutely right, Sebastian.
:'''Sebastian''': Of course.
:'''Triton''': Ariel needs constant supervision.
:'''Sebastian''': Constant.
:'''Triton''': Someone to watch over her. To make sure she stays out of trouble.
:'''Sebastian''': All da time.
:'''Triton''': And ''YOU'' are just the crab to do it!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Triton''': Come in, Sebastian.
:'''Sebastian''': ''[as he walks to Triton]''  I mustn't overreact. I must remain calm. ''[Five octaves higher than normal]'' Yes - ''[loco]'' yes, Your Majesty.
:'''Triton''': Sebastian, I'm concerned about Ariel. Have you noticed she's been acting peculiar lately?
:'''Sebastian''': [pretending to act confused]  Oh! Uh, peculiar?
:'''Triton''': You know, mooning about, daydreaming, singing to herself. You haven't noticed, hmm?
:'''Sebastian''': Oh- well, I-
:'''Triton''': Sebastian?
:'''Sebastian''': ''[looks up]'' Hmm?
:'''Triton''': I know you've been keeping something from me.
:'''Sebastian''': ''[nervously]'' Keeping someting?
:'''Triton''': About Ariel?
:'''Sebastian''': Ariel?
:'''Triton''': ''[point his trident at his chin]'' In love?
:'''Sebastian''': ''[protested]'' I TRIED TO STOP HER, SIR! SHE WOULDN'T LISTEN! I TOLD HER TO STAY AWAY FROM HUMANS! THEY ARE BAD, THEY ARE TROUBLE-!
:'''Triton''': Humans? '''''WHAT ABOUT HUMANS?!?!?!'''''
:'''Sebastian''': Humans? Ho ho ho ho. . . . Who said anything about humans?
:''[Triton angrily grabs Sebastian]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Triton''': ''[angrily confronts Ariel in her grotto]'' I consider myself a reasonable merman. I set certain rules and I expect those rules to be obeyed.
:'''Ariel''': But Dad, I...!
:'''Triton''': Is it true?! You rescued a human from drowning?!
:'''Ariel''': Daddy, I had to.
:'''Triton''': Contact between the human world and the mer world is strictly forbidden! Ariel, you know that! Everyone knows that!
:'''Ariel''': He would've died!
:'''Triton''': One less human to worry about.
:'''Ariel''': ''[angrily]'' You don't even know him!
:'''Triton''': Know him? I don't have to know him! They're all the same: Spineless, savage, harpooning fish-eaters, incapable of any feeling.
:'''Ariel''': DADDY, I LOVE HIM! ''[shockingly gasps, as she has accidentally slipped the truth]''
:'''Triton''': ''[shocked]'' No. Have you lost your senses completely?! He's a HUMAN! You're a MERMAID!
:'''Ariel''': I don't care!
:'''Triton''': So help me, Ariel, I am going to get through to you. And if this is the only way, so be it!
:''[With his trident at full power, Triton furiously pointed it towards one of Ariel's treasures and angrily blasted it. The blast was so intense that it spooked everyone, including Sebastian]''
:'''Ariel''': DADDY! NO, NO, PLEASE! ''[But Triton, in his rage, refused to stop. He continued furiously pointing his trident at one artifact and then another, mindlessly destroying everything in his path]'' DADDY, STOP! DADDY, STOP IT! ''[She swam to her angry father and tried stopping him, but it was no use. The only treasure left in the grotto was the statue of Eric. Seeing that he is now focused on that, Ariel turned to her angry father]'' DADDY, NO! ''[But Triton angrily ignored the pleas of his frightened daughter and angrily blasted the statue. Pieces of the statue flew around the grotto as the explosion subsided. The trident calmed down as she looked in horror at where the statue was. Her grotto, full of many treasures just minutes ago, was now a barren cave with much wreckage. Overcome with sadness, She collapsed onto the ground and started sobbing. Triton sternly looked at her daughter. But Triton, knowing that his time in the grotto was over, didn't say a word and turned to leave. But as he did, he couldn't help but feel that he went too far in scolding Ariel. He glimpsed at Ariel with remorse before leaving. Sebastian, Flounder were the only ones left in the grotto and they were all terrified at what just happened. Feeling terrible for Ariel, Sebastian approached the crying girl and tried to comfort her.]''
:'''Sebastian''': Ariel, I...
:'''Ariel:''' ''[softly]'' Just go away.
:''[Sebastian, remorseful for leading King Triton into the grotto, which resulted in the destruction of Ariel's treasures, leaves somberly with Flounder. Ariel was now on her own, sobbing over losing her treasures, all that she collected for years, and the Eric statue, the newest and most fascinating treasure of them all. She was now left with nothing.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ariel''': If I become human, I'll never be with my father or sisters again.
:'''Ursula''': That's right. But you'll have your man. Life's full of tough choices, innit?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: '''Scuttle''': Ariel, I was flying. I was-- Of course I was flying. And I saw the watch-- the ''WITCH'' was watchin' the mirror, and she was singin' with a stolen set of pipes! DO YOU HEAR WHAT I'M TELLIN' YOU?! THE PRINCE IS MARRYING THE SEAWITCH IN DISGUISE!
: '''Sebastian''': Are you sure about this?
: '''Scuttle''': Have I ever been wrong? I MEAN, WHEN IT'S IMPORTANT?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Triton''': She really does love him, doesn't she, Sebastian?
:'''Sebastian''': Well, it's like I always say, your majesty, children got to be free to lead their own life.
:'''Triton''': You always say that?
:''[Sebastian smiles sheepishly]''
:'''Triton''': Then I guess there's just one problem left.
:'''Sebastian''': And what's that, your majesty?
:'''Triton''': How much I'm going to miss her.
:''[Sebastian stares at him in surprise as Triton uses his magic to turn Ariel into a human]''

== Songs ==
=== ''Daughters of Triton'' ===

: Ah, we are the daughters of Triton
: Great father who loves us and named us well
: Aquata, Andrina, Arista, Attina, Adella, Alana
: And then there is the youngest in her musical debut
: Our seventh little sister, we're presenting her to you
: To sing a song Sebastian wrote
: Her voice is like a bell
: She's our sister, Ari--

=== ''Part of Your World'' ===

: Look at this stuff, isn't it neat?
: Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
: Wouldn't you think I'm the girl,
: The girl who has everything?

: Look at this trove, treasures untold,
: How many wonders can one cavern hold?
: Lookin' around here you'd think,
: 'Sure, she's got everything.'

=== ''Part of Your World'' Reprise ===
:'''Ariel''': What would I give to live where you are?
: What would I pay, to stay here beside you?
: What would I do to see you smiling at me?

: Where would we walk?
: Where would we run?
: If we could stay all day in the sun
: Just you and me
: And I could be
: Part of your world

: I don't know when
: I don't know how
: But I know something's starting right now
: Watch and you'll see
: Someday I'll be
: Part of your world

=== ''Under the Sea'' ===
: '''Sebastian''': Ariel, listen to me. The human world, it's a mess. Life under the sea is better than anything they got up there!
: ''[sings]'' The seaweed is always greener
: In somebody else's lake,
: You dream about going up there,
: But that is a big mistake.

: Just look at the world around you,
: Right here on the ocean floor.
: Such wonderful things around you.
: What more is you lookin' for?

: Under the Sea, under the sea.
: Darlin', it's better, down where it's wetter.
: Take it from me.
: Up on the shore, they work all day.
: Out in the sun they slave away,
: While we devoting full time to floating
: Under the sea.

=== ''Poor Unfortunate Souls'' ===
: '''Ursula''': The only way to get what you want is to become a human yourself.
: '''Ariel''': Can you do that?
: '''Ursula''': My dear sweet child, that's what I do. It's what I live for, to help unfortunate merfolk, like yourself. Poor souls with no one else to turn to.
: ''[sings]'' I admit that in the past I've been a nasty.
: They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch.
: But you'll find that nowadays,
: I've mended all my ways,
: Repented, seen the light and made a switch.
: True? Yes!

: And I fortunately know a little magic,
: It's a talent that I always have possessed.
: And here lately, please don't laugh,
: I use it on behalf
: Of the miserable, lonely, and depressed--
: Pathetic!

: Poor unfortunate souls, 
: In pain, in need.
: This one longing to be thinner,
: That one wants to get the girl,
: And do I help them? Yes, indeed!

=== ''Les Poissons'' ===
: '''Louis''':
: Les poissons, les poissons
: How I love les poissons
: Love to chop up and to serve little fish
: First I cut off their heads
: Then I pull out their bones
: Ah, mais oui, ca c'est
: Toujours delish.

=== ''Kiss the Girl'' ===
: '''Sebastian''': Percussion, strings, winds, words...

: There you see her
: Sitting there across the way
: She don't got a lot to say
: But there's something about her

: And you don't know why
: But you're dying to try
: You wanna kiss the girl

=== ''Vanessa's Song'' ===
: '''Vanessa''':
: What a lovely little bride I'll make, my dear, I'll look divine.
: Things are working out according to my ultimate design.
: Soon I'll have that little mermaid and the ocean will be mine!!

== Cast (voices) ==
* [[Jodi Benson]] — Ariel/Vanessa
* [[w:Christopher Daniel Barnes|Christopher Daniel Barnes]] — Prince Eric
* [[w:Samuel E. Wright|Samuel E. Wright]] — Sebastian
* [[Pat Carroll (actress)|Pat Carroll]] — Ursula
* [[w:Buddy Hackett|Buddy Hackett]] — Scuttle
* Jason Marin — Flounder
* [[w:Kenneth Mars|Kenneth Mars]] — King Triton
* [[w:Paddi Edwards|Paddi Edwards]] — Flotsam and Jetsam

==Taglines==
* Somewhere under the sea and beyond your imagination is an adventure in fantasy.
* Love has no boundaries.

== About ''The Little Mermaid (1989 film)'' ==

* When we first proposed it, we knew that it was going to be really, really challenging. I mean, for a lot of reasons. But one of the big reasons is two-thirds of the movie takes place underwater. All that requires a lot of animation in this animated films. We have character animation. The artist who animate the characters. They’re kind of like actors. We always felt they are actors with a pencil. Glen Keane and Mark Henn who did Ariel. That’s what they do. Then, we have effects animators. Effects animators do the non-character stuff that moves which is like water waves or bubbles. Or fire or smoke or light effects, if there’s anything that moves that isn’t the character. This probably had more character animation than any Disney movie project since “Fantasia.” This really had a lot of effects, even with the character stuff — like whenever Ariel is underwater, her hair has to move all the time.  Hair moving underwater is tricky. We had a lot of meetings about hair.  One of the extras in the video is some of the live action footage that we shot for reference to see the hair floating.
:* [[w:Rob Clemens|Rob Clemens]] [http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/moviemom/2013/09/interview-ron-clements-john-musker-little-mermaid-disney.html]

* You see at the heart of it, “The Little Mermaid” is the father-daughter story. It’s an overprotective father. There’s a daughter who is kind of adventurous and rebellious and wanting to see a new world. How do they resolve that? That story is still in place today.
:* [[w:John Musker|John Musker]] [http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/moviemom/2013/09/interview-ron-clements-john-musker-little-mermaid-disney.html]

== See also ==

* ''[[The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea]]''
* ''[[The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning]]''
== External links ==

{{wikipedia|The Little Mermaid (1989 film)}}
* {{imdb title | id=0097757 | title=The Little Mermaid}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Little Mermaid, The}}
[[Category:1989 films]]
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[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]
[[Category:Romance films]]
[[Category:Mermaid films]]
[[Category:Films directed by Ron Clements]]
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      <text bytes="21245" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Horace Walpole by John Giles Eccardt.jpg|thumb|The [[world]] is a [[comedy]] to those that [[think]]; a [[tragedy]] to those that [[feel]].]]
'''[[w:Horace Walpole|Horatio Walpole, 4th Earl of Orford]]''' ([[September 24|24 September]] [[1717]] &amp;ndash; [[March 2|2 March]] [[1797]]), more commonly known as '''Horace Walpole''', was a British politician and writer, noted for his collected letters and for having written the first [[w:Gothic horror|Gothic horror]] novel, ''[[w:The Castle of Otranto|The Castle of Otranto]]'' (1764).

== Quotes ==
[[File:Horace Walpole.jpg|thumb|A [[tragedy]] can never suffer by delay: a [[comedy]] may, because the allusions or the manners represented in it maybe temporary.]]
[[File:Pierre Subleyras - Horace Walpole.jpg|thumb|To [[act]] with [[common sense]], according to the [[moment]], is the best [[wisdom]] I [[know]]…]]
[[File:Horace Walpole 02.jpg|thumb|Prognostics do not always prove [[prophecies]], — at least the [[wisest]] prophets make sure of the event first.]]

* '''When I first came abroad, every thing struck me''', and I wrote its history; but now I am grown so used to be surprised, that I don't perceive any flutter in myself when I meet with any novelties; curiosity and astonishment wear off, and the next thing is, to fancy that other people know as much of places as one's self; or, at least, one does not remember that they do not. It appears to me as odd to write to you of St. Peter's, as it would do to you to write of Westminster-abbey. Besides, as one looks at churches, &amp;c. with a book of travels in one's hand, and sees every thing particularised there, it would appear transcribing, to write upon the same subjects.
** [https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=coo1.ark:/13960/t5p84vt55;view=1up;seq=194 Letter to Richard West, from Rome, 16 April 1740], p. 42, ''The Letters of Horace Walpole'', ed. P. Cunningham, vol. 1

* Harry Vane, Pulteney's toad-eater.
**Letter to Sir Horace Mann (1742)

* It always amazes me, when I reflect on the women, who are the first to propagate scandal of one another. If they would but agree not to censure what they all agree to do, there would be no more loss of characters among them than amongst men. A woman cannot have an affair, but instantly all her sex travel about to publish it and leave her off: now, if a man cheats another of his estate at play, forges a will, or marries his ward to his own son, nobody thinks of leaving him off for such trifles!
** [https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=coo1.ark:/13960/t5p84vt55;view=1up;seq=362 Letter to Sir Horace Mann, 25 Sept. 1742], pp. 202–203, ''The Letters of Horace Walpole, ed. P. Cunningham, vol. 1

* Why, I'll swear I see no difference between a country gentleman and a sirloin; whenever the first laughs, or the latter is cut, there run out just the same streams of gravy! ...  Oh! my dear Sir, don't you find that nine parts in ten of the world are of no use but to make you wish yourself with that tenth part? ...
** [https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=coo1.ark:/13960/t5p84vt55;view=1up;seq=425 Letter to John Chute, from Houghton, 20 Aug. 1743], p. 265, ''The Letter of Horace Walpole'', ed. P. Cunnighham, vol. 1

* '''Our supreme governors, the mob.'''
** Letter to Sir Horace Mann (7 September 1743)

* My aversion to them...springs from the perniciousness of that sect to society&amp;mdash;I hate Papists, as a man, not as a Protestant. If Papists were only enemies to the religion of other men, I should overlook their errors. As they are foes to liberty, I cannot forgive them.
** ''Memoirs from the Declaration of the War with Spain'' (1746)

* '''If a [[passion]] for [[freedom]] is not in vogue, [[patriots]] may sound the alarm till they are weary.&lt;br /&gt; The Act of [[w:Habeas corpus|Habeas Corpus]], by which [[prisoners]] may insist on being brought to [[trial]] within a limited [[time]], is the corner-stone of our [[liberty]].'''
** Notes of 1758, published in ''Memoires of the Last Ten Years of the Reign of George the Second'' (1822), p. 226; also published as &quot;Memoirs of the Year 1758&quot; in ''Memoirs of King George II, Vol. III'' (1985), p. 10&lt;!-- Yale University Press --&gt;

* '''A [[tragedy]] can never suffer by delay: a comedy may, because the allusions or the manners represented in it maybe temporary.'''
** Letter 123 To Robert Jephson (13 July 1777)

* Instead of the glorious and ever-memorable year 1759, as the newspapers call it, I call it this ever-warm and victorious year. We have not had more conquest than fine weather: one would think we had plundered East and West Indies of sunshine. Our bells are worn threadbare with ringing for victories. I believe it will require ten votes of the House of Commons before people believe it is the Duke of Devonshire that has done this, and not [[William Pitt, 1st Earl of Chatham|Mr. Pitt]].
** Letter to [[w:George Montagu-Dunk, 2nd Earl of Halifax|George Montagu]] (21 October 1759)

* '''The world is a comedy to those that think; a tragedy to those that feel.'''
** Letter to Lady Anne, Countess of Ossory, (15 August 1776)
** A favourite saying of Walpole's, it is repeated in other of his letters, and might be derived from a similar statement attributed to [[Jean de La Bruyère]], though unsourced: &quot;Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think&quot;. An earlier form occurs in another published letter:
** '''I have often said, and oftener think, that this world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel — a solution of why [[Democritus]] laughed and [[Heraclitus]] wept.'''
*** Letter to Sir Horace Mann (31 December 1769)

* It was easier to conquer it [the East] than to know what to do with it.
** Letter to Sir Horace Mann (27 March 1772)

* &lt;span id=&quot;a_little_nonsense&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;'''A careless song, with a little nonsense in it now and then, does not misbecome a monarch.'''
**Letter to Sir Horace Mann (1774); this is derived from an proverb of unknown authorship: &quot;A little nonsense now and then / Is relished by the wisest men&quot;.

* The way to ensure summer in England is to have it framed and glazed in a comfortable room.
** Letter to Willam Cole (28 May 1774)

* The next Augustan age will dawn on the other side of the Atlantic. There will, perhaps, be a [[Thucydides]] at Boston, a [[Xenophon]] at New York, and, in time, a [[Virgil]] at Mexico, and a [[Isaac Newton|Newton]] at Peru. At last, some curious traveller from Lima will visit England and give a description of the ruins of St Paul’s, like the editions of Balbec and Palmyra.
** Letter to Sir Horace Mann (24 November 1774)

* '''To act with common sense, according to the moment, is the best wisdom I know; and the best philosophy, to do one's duties, take the world as it comes, submit respectfully to one's lot, bless the goodness that has given us so much happiness with it, whatever it is, and despise affectation.'''
** Letter to Sir Horace Mann (27 May 1776)

* The whole nation hitherto has been void of wit and humour, and even incapable of relishing it.
**On Scotland, in a etter to Sir [[Horace Mann]] (1778); comparable to &quot;It requires a surgical operation to get a joke well into a Scotch understanding&quot;, by [[Sydney Smith]], ''Lady Holland's Memoir'', vol. i. p. 15.

* '''Prognostics do not always prove prophecies, — at least the wisest prophets make sure of the event first.'''
** Letter to Thomas Walpole (19 February 1785)

* It is the story of a mountebank and his zany.
** Statement about [[Samuel Johnson]] and [[James Boswell]], as described in Boswell's ''[[w:A Journal of a Tour to the Hebrides|Journal of a Tour to the Hebrides with Samuel Johnson, LL.D.]]'', in a letter to Hon. Henry Conway (6 October 1785)

* Allen of Bath procured them the same honours from thence; and for some weeks it rained gold boxes: Chester, Worcester, Norwich, Bedford, Salisbury, Yarmouth, Tewkesbury, Newcastle-on-Tyne, Stirling, and other populous and chief towns following the example. Exeter, with singular affection, sent boxes of heart of oak.
** &quot;The sending of boxes to William Pitt in 1757&quot; in ''Memoirs of the Reign of King George II'' (London, 1846–47), Vol. II, p. 202

* '''Posterity always degenerates till it becomes our ancestors.'''
** As quoted in &quot;The Works of Horace Walpole, Earl of Orford&quot; in ''The Monthly Review, or, Literary Journal'', Vol. 27 (1798) edited by Ralph Griffiths, p. 187

* '''Men are often capable of greater things than they perform. They are sent into the world with bills of credit, and seldom draw to their full extent.'''
** As quoted in &quot;The Works of Horace Walpole, Earl of Orford&quot; in ''The Monthly Review, or, Literary Journal'', Vol. 27 (1798) edited by Ralph Griffiths, p. 187

* He was my counsel in affairs, was my oracle in taste, the standard to whom I submitted my trifles, and the genius that presided over poor Strawberry.
** On the death of his friend John Chute (1776)
** As quoted in ''The National Trust Magazine'', Spring 2011, p. 09

=== ''[[w:The Castle of Otranto|The Castle of Otranto]]'' (1764) ===
:&lt;small&gt; All quotes from the text of &quot;[http://www.gutenberg.org/files/696/696-h/696-h.htm/ The Castle of Otranto]&quot; at [[w:Project Gutenberg|Project Gutenberg]] &lt;/small&gt;

* Manfred was not one of those savage tyrants who wanton in [[cruelty]] unprovoked. The circumstances of his fortune had given an asperity to his temper, which was naturally humane; and his virtues were always ready to operate, when his passions did not obscure his reason.
** Section 1

* “Peace, simpleton!” said the Princess. “Though he said he was unhappy, it does not follow that he must be in [[love]].”
** Section 2

* Have done with this rhapsody of impertinence.
** Section 2

* And is anybody unhappy about another, unless they are in love with them? 
** Section 2

* “Heaven,” replied Manfred, “does not send Heralds to question the title of a lawful Prince.  I doubt whether it even notifies its will through Friars—but that is your affair, not mine.
** Section 3

* You think me ambitious: [[ambition]], alas! is composed of more rugged materials.  If I were ambitious, I should not for so many years have been a prey to all the hell of conscientious scruples.
** Section 3

* Thy [[purpose]] is as odious as thy [[resentment]] is contemptible.
** Section 3

* “My councils do not need a Friar’s intervention,” said Manfred; “and of all men living is that hoary traitor the only one whom you delight to confer with?”
** Section 4

===''Walpoliana''===
:&lt;small&gt;Originally published in 1799 by [[w:John Pinkerton|John Pinkerton]]. Quotations are from the 1825 printing&lt;/small&gt;
*The Americans are mostly engaged in trade and plantations. Their chief object is to make money. And, in truth, money is freedom.
**'Americans', p. 5

*These horrible affairs in France are the offspring of fanaticism. Yes, sir; if the [[Protestant Reformation|reformation]] had taken place there, as well as here, religion and the clergy would have been respected, as they are here. Fanatics make [[Atheism|atheists]]. If I cannot believe in God without believing that a [[w:Transubstantiation|wafer is God]], my reason abjures the deity. I wish religion to exist: it is of infinite use to society, and I therefore wish it to be as rational as possible. A synod of the [[w:Church of England|English church]] might order several objectionable tenets and expressions of our worship to be altered. I love those reformations that prevent revolutions, by keeping pace with the gradual progress of reason and knowledge.
**'Atheism the Offspring of Fanaticism', p. 10

*[[Henry St John, 1st Viscount Bolingbroke|Lord Bolingbroke]] discovered a foible of the great [[John Churchill, 1st Duke of Marlborough|duke of Marlborough]], that he delighted in tying Miss Jenning's garters. When he repeated the story, he used to add, &quot;What is known to women is known to the world.&quot;
**'Bolingbroke and Marlborough', p. 15

*[[w:John Stuart, 3rd Earl of Bute|Lord Bute]] was my schoolfellow. He was a man of taste and science, and I do believe his intentions were good. He wished to blend and unite all parties. The [[w:Tories (British political party)|Tories]] were willing to come in for a ''share'' of power, after having been so long excluded—but the [[Whigs (British political party)|Whigs]] were not willing to grant that share. '''Power is an intoxicating draught; the more a man has, the more he desires.'''
**'Bute's Ministry', p. 22

*Sir [[Robert Walpole]] used to say, that it was fortunate so few men could be prime ministers, as it was best that few should thoroughly know the shocking wickedness of mankind.&lt;br&gt;I never heard him say, that all men have their prices; and I believe no such expression ever came from his mouth.
**'Corruption', p. 30

*[[w:Prince William, Duke of Cumberland|William, Duke of Cumberland]], gave promises of talents that were never accomplished. One day he had given some offence to his royal mother, and was remanded to the confinement of his chamber. After what the queen thought a sufficient duration of his punishment, she sent for him. He returned in a very sullen humour. &quot;What have you been doing?&quot; said the queen.—&quot;Reading.&quot;—&quot;What book?&quot;—&quot;The New Testament.&quot;—&quot;Very well. What part?&quot;—&quot;Where it is said, ''Woman, why troublest thou me?''&quot;
**'William, Duke of Cumberland', p. 33

*A fig for our [[Democracy|democrats]]! [1792]. Barking dogs never bite. The danger in France arose from silent and instantaneous action. They said nothing, and did every thing—ours say every thing, and will do nothing.
**'Democrats', p. 34

*I visit Paris often, and have considerably studied the French character. In individuals it is often excellent; but taken in general it disgusts by its petulance and vanity. The French have always been dissolute in their amours; and are thus led to assail the chastity of foreign women, the most unpardonable of all affronts to fathers, brothers, husbands, and lovers. This, and their petulant overbearing conduct, prevent their conquests from being lasting. Yes, I swear to you by the Sicilian vespers, they can never be of much duration.
**'French Characters', p. 49

*[[w:Thomas Brand Hollis|Mr. Hollis]] is always publishing republican books, and yet professes great veneration for our constitution. I cannot reconcile this; our constitution being, in its leading part, an [[oligarchy]], the form, perhaps, of all others, the most opposite to a [[republic]].
**'Mr. Hollis', p. 68

*I have sometimes thought that a squire and a vestry were a king and republic in miniature. The vestry is as tyrannic, in its way, as the squire in his. Any power necessarily leads to abuses of that power. It is difficult to stop any ''impetus'' of nature.
**'King and Republic', p. 74

*We must speak to the eyes, if we wish to affect the mind.
**'Maxim of Writing', p. 86

*If [[John Milton|Milton]] had written in Italian, he would have been, in my opinion, the most perfect poet in modern languages; for his own strength of thought would have condensed and hardened that speech to a proper degree.
**'Milton', p. 87

*Though I admire republican principles in theory, yet I am afraid the practice may be too perfect for [[human nature]]. We tried a republic last century, and it failed. Let our enemies try next. I hate political experiments.
**'Republics', p. 116

*Good men are never concerned in [[revolution]]s, because they will not go the lengths. [[w:Robert Spencer, 2nd Earl of Sunderland|Sunderland]] caused the [[Glorious Revolution|revolution of 1688]], while [[w:William Cavendish, 1st Duke of Devonshire|Devonshire]] stood aloof—the latter was the angel, the former the storm. Bad men and poisonous plants are sometimes of superlative use in skilful hands.
**'Revolutions', p. 117

*[[Jean-Jacques Rousseau|Rousseau]]'s ideas of savage life are puerile. He is equally absurd in supposing that no people can be free, if they entrust their freedom to representatives. What is every body's business is nobody's business. The people would soon be sick of such freedom; they must attend to their own private business, else they could not live. The people of France are easily electrified. We are too solid for such dreams. Amber may draw straws: we do not gravitate so easily.
**'Rousseau's Absurdities', p. 124

*The critics generally confider a [[tragedy]] as the next effort of the mind to an epic poem. For my part, I estimate the difficulty of writing a good [[comedy]] to be greater than that of composing a good tragedy. Not only equal genius is required, but a comedy demands a more uncommon assemblage of qualities—knowledge of the world, wit, good sense, &amp;c; and these qualities superadded to those requisite for tragical composition.
**'Tragedy and Comedy', p. 153

*[[William III of England|King William]] asked [[John Locke|Mr. Locke]] how long he thought the [[Glorious Revolution|revolution]] principles might last in England. The philosopher answered, &quot;Till this generation shall have passed away, and our universities shall have had time to breed a new one.&quot; Many things I disapprove in our universities, where the country gentlemen are educated in [[w:Toryism|Toryism]] by Tory clergy.
**'Universities', p. 157

*To talk of the weather was once a matter of ridicule. But that soon went out; for the weather is, in fact, so important in this changeable climate, that our health and bread depend on it. There are also numerous classes in this island, farmers, seamen, &amp;c. &amp;c. whose very existence depends on the weather. It is idle to deny that the sate of our spirits depends on the weather: the stoutest man cannot take exercise on a rainy day, and must feel ''ennui'', because he cannot divide his time as usual. For my part, I care as little for the weather as any; and I sometimes say, that all I want is cold winters, and hot summers.
**'Weather', p. 164

*We must thank the Whigs for all the prosperity of our country. The Tories have only thrown us into disagreeable ''crises''. It is risible to hear the latter boast of the public happiness, which is wholly the work of their antagonists. They are so absurd as to regret the national freedom, the sole source of the wealth on which they fatten. ''Sic vos non vobis mellificatis apes!'' Had the Tories succeeded at the [[Glorious Revolution|revolution]], or accession, this fair country would have been another Spain; the desolate abode of nobles and priests. What has rendered it the wonder and envy of Europe? Freedom. One would wonder that any man mould conspire against the general felicity—but this infatuation arises from the ''esprit du corps'', which can even produce mental blindness—can instigate its unhappy devotee to destroy the hen that lays the golden eggs.
**'Whigs and Tories', pp. 165-166

{{Misattributed begin}}

==Misattributed==

* '''The whole secret of life is to be interested in one thing profoundly and in a thousand things well.'''
** Widely misattributed in print and on the internet, this is actually [[Hugh Walpole]], in ''Reading : An Essay'' (1926)&lt;!-- misattribution cited originally to ''The Christian Leader'', Vol. 37, Issue 7 (17 February 1934) — but this is not available presently —  but several more modern occurrences are ~ Kalki 2020·03·12 --&gt; 

{{Misattributed end}} 
== Quotes about Horace Walpole ==
*  He was born a writer of letters, and if he had been shut up in a desert island like Robinson Crusoe he would have written letters all the same, and kept them till some ship arrived which should carry them to their destination.
** [[Augustus Jessopp]]: {{cite book|chapter=Letters and letter-writers|title=Studies by a recluse, in cloister, town, and country|edition=3rd|location=London|publisher=T. F. Unwin|pages=215–257|chapter-url=https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=mdp.39015022733243&amp;view=1up&amp;seq=277}} quote from pp. 251–252; (1st edition, 1892)

* His politics are always under the strong influence of party and often of faction, and his details of social life and personal character are rendered more amusing indeed, but less trustworthy, by a strong seasoning of scandal, and occasionally of malice. It is not given to man to be at once of a party, and impartial — to be a gossip, and not censorious. We do not take the characters of Lord Wharton or Sir Robert Walpole from Swift, nor should we from Horace Walpole those of Bute or North.
** [https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=chi.29660540;view=1up;seq=150 Review of ''The Correspondence of Horace Walpole, Earl of Oxford, and the Rev. William Mason'' edited, with Notes, by the Rev. J. Mitford'', 2 vols., in ''The Quarterly Review'', Vol. 89, p. 136 (June 1851)]

== External links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}
*{{wikisource-inline|Author:Horace Walpole}}
*{{commonscat-inline}}
* {{gutenberg author|name=Horace Walpole|id=Horace_Walpole}}

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      <text bytes="99231" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Foods.jpg|thumb|Veganism denotes a philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude—as far as is possible and practical—all forms of exploitation of, and [[cruelty to animals]] for food, clothing, or any other purpose; and by extension, promotes the development and use of animal-free alternatives for the benefit of humans, animals, and the environment. ~ [[The Vegan Society]]]]
'''[[w:Veganism|Veganism]]''' is both the practice of abstaining from the use of animal products, particularly in [[diet]], and an associated philosophy that rejects the commodity status of [[animals]]. A follower of either the diet or the philosophy is known as a vegan.
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== A ==

* My motto has always been “If you love animals, don’t eat them”. ... the moment I began to understand what was going on with the treatment of animals, it led me more and more in the way of the path I am [on] now, which is a complete vegan.
** [[Bryan Adams]], [http://www.peta.org.uk/blog/bryan-adams-animal-rights-vegan/ “Bryan Adams on Animal Rights and Being Vegan”, interview with PETA, in ''Peta.org'' (7 January 2007)].

* I coined the term ''feminized protein'' for eggs and dairy products: plant protein produced through the abuse of the reproductive cycle of female animals. Feminized protein is taken from living female animals, whose reproductive capacity is manipulated for human needs. The unique situation of domesticated female animals required its own term: a sexual slavery with chickens in battery cages and dairy cows hooked up to milking machines. ... The radical truth is that people can be perfectly happy as vegans, but the dominant culture can’t or won’t acknowledge this. ... Being vegan is an exciting, wonderful culinary experience and we probably don’t even know what’s possible because it’s still so new. ... The process of objectification/fragmentation/consumption can be interrupted by the process of attention/nowness/compassion.
** [[Carol J. Adams]], “[http://caroljadams.com/why-vegan-feminist/ Why Vegan-Feminist?]”, in ''caroljadams.com'' (2015).

* When people ask me why I don’t eat meat or any other animal products, I say because they are unhealthy and they are the product of a violent and inhumane industry. Chickens, cows, and pigs in factory farms spend their whole lives in filthy, cramped conditions only to die a prolonged and painful death.
** [[Casey Affleck]], from [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSuLrvwLoLA a PETA video (6 February 2013)], reported in [http://www.peta2.com/heroes/casey-afflecks-go-vegan-psa/ &quot;Casey Affleck’s ‘Go Vegan’ PSA&quot;, in ''peta2.com''].

* They taught me the importance of eating right and how it can benefit my boxing career. I went vegan ‘cold [[w:Tofurkey|Tofurkey]]’. ... Since being plant based, I am 23-0, winning 3 International Golds and 2 National tournaments and can thank my new lifestyle.
** [[Cam F. Awesome]], [http://www.greatveganathletes.com/cam-awesome-vegan-boxer &quot;Cam Awesome vegan boxer&quot;, interview with ''GreatVeganAthletes.com'' (2013)].

== B ==

* I've been vegan for two years and vegetarian for 20 years. I used to be a dancer, and so health and vitality have always been important to me. I wouldn't say it took any one big event, vegetarianism just always made sense to me. [What farmed animals] endure is just terrible. It's horrible ... Vegan food is {{w|soul food}} in its truest form. Soul food means to feed the soul. And, to me, your soul is your intent. If your intent is pure, you are pure.
** [[Erykah Badu]], [http://vegnews.com/articles/page.do?catId=7&amp;pageId=30 &quot;Erykah Badu&quot;, interview with ''VegNews'' (6 October 2008)].

[[File:HeadshotCarl.jpg|thumb|In fact, my best year of track competition was the first year I ate a vegan diet. Moreover, by continuing to eat a vegan diet, my weight is under control, I like the way I look. (I know that sounds vain, but all of us want to like the way we look.) ~ [[Carl Lewis]]]]

* Honestly, ever since I found this way of eating I have endless amounts of energy. I can go all day, and after it all I never find myself getting tired. No matter what kind of shows I have done, or workouts I do on top of it, I still have to force myself to sleep at night.
** [[Travis Barker]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20170321220957/https://www.mensjournal.com/entertainment/articles/blink-182s-travis-barker-why-im-vegan-w473107 &quot;Blink 182's Travis Barker: Why I'm Vegan&quot;, interview with ''Men's Journal'' (March 2017)].

* By setting aside animal-derived products—meat, dairy products, and eggs—you can reach a level of health and well-being that you may never have expected you could enjoy. ... Although our work has focused on helping people trim down, conquer diabetes, cut cholesterol, and tackle other medical problems, it should be said that not everyone who decides to forgo animal products makes that choice for health reasons. Many people are concerned with how animals are treated by the food industries, and rightly so. And the environmental consequences of meat and dairy production should be of concern to all of us.
** [[Neal D. Barnard|Neal Barnard, M. D.]], [https://books.google.it/books?id=jhkj1chVn28C&amp;pg=PR7 introduction] to ''The Get Healthy, Go Vegan Cookbook'', Da Capo Press, 2010.

* [[Cooking]] is my love language, where there's the most amount of giving selflessly. ... It's more about the health benefits than the ethics. But it's compounded by the fact that I love animals and feel better not eating them.
** [[Kristen Bell]], on her vegan cuisine, after her transition from vegetarianism to veganism, in [http://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/kristen-bell-vegan-food &quot;Kristen in the Kitchen&quot;, in ''Women's Health'' (8 March 2012)].

* My perspective of veganism was most affected by learning that the veal calf is a by-product of dairying, and that in essence there is a slice of veal in every glass of what l had thought was an innocuous white liquid—milk.
** [[Rynn Berry]], quoted in ''The Vegan Sourcebook'' by [[Joanne Stepaniak]] (Los Angeles: Lowell House, 1998), p. 40.

* Unless tied to alliance politics and radical social and environmental movements, the animal rights movement is just single-issue reformism and veganism is reduced to just another form of bourgeois individualism and capitalist consumerism. Profound in moral, social, and ecological implications, animal rights and veganism are crucial necessary steps for liberation politics, but hardly in and of themselves sufficient conditions for revolutionary change. The profound importance of veganism and animal rights can be recognized by a social majority only in a broad political context, and only in alliance with other struggles can their revolutionary potential be realized.
** [[Steven Best]], ''The Politics of Total Liberation: Revolution for the 21st Century'' (Palgrave Macmillan, 2014), p. 48. &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-1349500864}}&lt;/small&gt;

* After having my daughter, I made a conscious effort to regain control of my health and my body. But I didn't want to do a crash diet. I was a mom now. I needed to change my ways and set an example for my child. ... A year later (around November 2013), my husband and I decided we wanted to try a completely plant-based diet ... And so the journey began that helped me get into the best shape of my life. Little did I know the long-lasting effects it would have. I thought, like with most diets, I would feel deprived and hate food, that I would miss out on restaurants and celebrations, that I would get headaches and be irritable, etc. I was wrong about all of that. It took a few days to adjust, but what I discovered was increased energy, better sleep, weight loss, improved digestion, clarity, and an incredibly positive feeling for my actions and the effects it would have on those around me and the environment.
** [[Beyoncé]], [https://books.google.it/books?id=KfeoBAAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PP10 foreword] to Marco Borges's ''The 22-Day Revolution'', New York: Penguin, 2015.
[[File:Bonnie-Jill Laflin 2015 2.jpg|thumb|I'm vegan for the animals. If you go into the factory farms, when you see what these animals endure and the torture, it's not right and the only way to not participate in that is to go vegan. ~ [[Bonnie-Jill Laflin]]]]

* I used to say the only reason why I didn’t eat meat was to be healthy, but I would be lying if I said that now, knowing the horrible things they do to the animals. Any person who has a heart for animals and knew how they are treated would be vegan.
** [[Tia Blanco]], [https://vegansarecool.com/2013/11/12/vegan-surfing-star-tia-blanco-talks-food-arm-wrestling-and-more/ &quot;Vegan Surfing Star Tia Blanco talks food, arm wrestling and more!&quot;, interview with ''VegansAreCool.com'' (12 November 2013)].

* I want to try to live my own [[Value (ethics)|values]] as consciously and purposefully as I can. Being vegan for me is a cleaner way of not participating in practices that don’t align with my values. ... As soon as I said publicly that I was trying this experiment, so many vegans out there, hundreds and hundreds of people, have been reaching out to me with incredible support and encouragement as well as practical tips of how to do this without having to sacrifice that much in terms of the food and what I like. I've discovered some really delicious things—recipes, stores, and restaurants—that have made this transition far easier. ... There's too much judgment out there. Really what we need to be doing is just all of us finding our own paths towards living the best lives we can live as clearly and boldly in accordance with our own personal values.
** [[Cory Booker]], &quot;[http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/11/26/talking-tofurky-with-newly-vegan-cory-booker.html Talking Tofurky With Newly Vegan Cory Booker]&quot;, interview with Vlad Chituc, in ''[[w:The Daily Beast|The Daily Beast]]'' (26 November 2014).

* I have used this [vegan] diet since 2008. I first tried it when I was preparing for my challenge of WBC super lightweight champion Junior Wittier -- my first world title fight -- and after seeing the results it gave me I have tried to stay as loyal to it as possible. It helps keep my body clean and it provides me with a tremendous amount of energy due to my body spending less energy breaking down foods like meats. This is a big key factor in my fitness. ... The energy is always there. I feel so alive. My senses and reflexes are so acute. ... With a vegan diet you always have energy, so much that sometimes I have trouble sleeping at night. You feel light. You don't feel bulky or heavy. This would benefit any athlete in any sport.
** [[Timothy Bradley]], [http://www.boxingscene.com/timothy-bradley-explains-his-vegan-diet-benefits--70134 &quot;Timothy Bradley Explains His Vegan Diet, The Benefits&quot;, in ''BoxingScene.com'' (30 September 2013)].

* How then can it be compassionate to gorge on other beings’ blood and flesh? Monks who will not wear silks from the East, whether coarse or fine; who will not wear shoes or boots of leather, nor furs, nor birds’ down from our own country; and who will not consume milk, curds, or ghee, have truly freed themselves from the world.
** [[Gautama Buddha]], ''[[w:Śūraṅgama Sūtra|Śūraṅgama Sūtra]]'', translated by the Buddhist Text Translation Society (2009), Part VII, Chapter 2: On Killing. [http://www.buddhisttexts.org/uploads/6/3/3/1/6331706/surangama_new_translation.pdf Full text online].

== C ==
[[File:David Haye.png|thumb|I watched a TV documentary about how animals are farmed, killed and prepared for us to eat. I saw all those cows and pigs and realised I couldn’t be a part of it any more. It was horrible. I did some research to make sure I could still obtain enough protein to fight and, once satisfied that I could, I stopped [eating animal products]. I’ll never go back. ~ [[David Haye]]]]

* You're going to be healthier, you're going to live longer, you're going to look better. You're going to have fewer zits. You're going to be slimmer. You're going to radiate health. You're going to have a better sex drive. That's what shifting away from meat and dairy does. My whole family did this, and we're doing spectacularly well from a health standpoint. I have not had a single sniffle, not a flu, not a cold, nothing that's taken me offline as much as an hour in three and a half years.
** [[James Cameron (director)|James Cameron]], &quot;[http://www.mensjournal.com/health-fitness/nutrition/james-cameron-why-i-eat-a-vegan-diet-20150915 James Cameron: Why I Eat a Vegan Diet]&quot;, interview with John Gaudiosi, in ''[[w:Men's Journal|Men's Journal]]'' (15 September 2015).

* Our study [China Diet and Health Study] suggests that the closer one approaches a total plant food diet, the greater the health benefit. ... It turns out that animal protein, when consumed, exhibits a variety of undesirable health effects. Whether it is the immune system, various enzyme systems, the uptake of carcinogens into the cells, or hormonal activities, animal protein generally only causes mischief. High fat intake still can be a problem, and we ought not to be consuming such high-fat diets. But I suggest that animal protein is more problematic in this whole diet/disease relationship than is total fat. 
** [[T. Colin Campbell]], interview, 1994; as quoted in ''Souls Like Ourselves'' by Andrea Wiebers and David Wiebers (Rochester, MN: Sojourn Press, 2000), p. 51.

* The vegan choice is revolutionary, it is an act of daily love for animals and people.
** [[Loredana Cannata]], [https://www.vegsicilia.it/blog/personaggi/loredana-cannata-scelta-vegana-atto-damore-quotidiano/ &quot;La Scelta Vegana È Un Atto D’amore Quotidiano&quot;], interview with ''Veg Sicilia'' (8 October 2018).

* Going veg is one of the best decisions you can make for your health and the planet. Period. Your organs, blood, bones, teeth, and private parts will thank you. ... If your meals consistently revolve around corpse multiple times daily, you might become one sooner than you planned.
** [[Kris Carr]], ''Crazy Sexy Diet'' (Rowman &amp; Littlefield, 2011), [https://books.google.it/books?id=4lZBBAAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PT87 ch. 4].

* One of the things that pushed me to change my diet is that the average football player dies at 56 years of age. That's because they're constantly drinking milk and whey protein shakes, eating steak and chicken. ... We thought, 'We're big dudes, we need to eat meat to be men.' I thought that too. But you're screwing your insides up. You're taking advantage of a helpless animal. You're killing a life that you don't need to take. With dairy, you're stealing breast milk that's meant for the baby cows and drinking it yourself. How is that manly? Men are supposed to be protectors.
** [[David Carter (defensive lineman)|David Carter]], interview in the book ''[https://books.google.it/books?id=FIY8DgAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PT0 What the Health]'' by Eunice Wong (Xlibris, 2017).

* Promoting veganism, I think it’s such an important message. ... I remember as a child, my grandma instilling in us that no matter how little you think you have, there are always people and beings that are suffering on the planet and have even less than us. As I’ve grown older, the love just continues to grow for all living beings. It breaks my heart when I see animals being mistreated. As we all know, in agriculture, that’s like one of the biggest mistreatments that animals endure in our country.  The more I educated myself about the subject, the more I was able to make wiser, more intelligent decisions in my life. ... I’ve seen some tremendous positive changes in my health in the last six years when I switched to a plant-based diet ... I live by the [[Golden Rule]]: treat others as you would like to be treated. And to me, that includes animals as well. They should be loved. They are souls on this planet just like we are.
** [[Susie Castillo]], [http://www.godsdirectcontact.org.tw/eng/news/211/sr_43.htm &quot;In-Depth with ''Loving the Silent Tears'' MC: Susie Castillo (Vegan)&quot;, interview in ''GodsDirectContact.org'' (2012)].

* I don’t want to torture anything. ... it’s about trying to live a life where I’m not contributing to the cruelty in the world. ... While I am on this planet, I want everyone I meet to know that I am grateful they are here.
** [[Jessica Chastain]], on her veganism and lifestyle in a [[People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals|PETA]] press statement, as quoted in [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/29/peta-sexiest-vegetarian-celebrities-2012_n_1638049.html &quot;PETA Sexiest Vegetarian Celebrities 2012: Jessica Chastain And Woody Harrelson Win Celebrity Contest&quot; by Tara Kelly, in ''The Huffington Post'' (29 June 2012)].

* The vegan lifestyle is a compassionate way to live that supports life, supports fairness and equality, and promotes freedom.
** [[Robert Cheeke]], ''[https://books.google.it/books?id=O9PqBgAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PT0 Vegan Bodybuilding and Fitness]'' (Summertown, TN: Healthy Living Publications, 2010), ch. 1.

* [After struggle with heart disease] I've stopped eating meat, cheese, milk, even fish. No dairy at all. I've lost more than 20 pounds so far, aiming for about 30 before Chelsea's wedding. And I have so much more energy now! I feel great. ... I just decided that I was the high-risk person, and I didn't want to fool with this anymore. And I wanted to live to be a grandfather. So I decided to pick the diet that I thought would maximize my chances of long-term survival. ... The main thing that was hard for me actually ... was giving up yogurt and hard cheese. I love that stuff, but it really made a big difference when I did it. ... [To truly change the conditions that lead to bad habits and poor health] we have to demand it by changing the way we live. You have to make a conscious decision to change for your own well-being, and that of your family and your country.
** [[Bill Clinton]], &quot;[http://www.aarp.org/health/healthy-living/info-08-2013/bill-clinton-vegan.html Bill Clinton Explains Why He Became a Vegan]&quot; by [[w:Joe Conason|Joe Conason]], ''AARP The Magazine'', August/September 2013.
[[File:Alicia Silverstone, Festival of Books.jpg|thumb|I realized veganism is the only diet that can change the world. ... You can expect a healthier body, and the feeling of pride that goes hand-in-hand with living according to your values. That’s something that many people aspire to, but few people achieve. ~ [[Alicia Silverstone]]]]

* I had to come to the full conclusion, the only way to sustainably and ethically live on this planet with seven billion other people is to live an entirely plant-based vegan diet. I decided instead of eating others, to eat for others. At first, like these environmental groups, I was afraid of what it’d mean to change. But now, I embrace it. All this talk about sustainability sounded like our planet was on some sort of life support. And I don’t want her to simply survive or to sustain, but to thrive. Life today is not about sustainability. It’s about thrive-ability. She’s given so much to us for so long, it was time to give back. A hundred and eight percent of everything we have. It felt good. It was an alignment.
** ''[[Cowspiracy]]'', documentary-film by Kip Andersen and Keegan Kuhn (2014)&lt;!-- 1:26:08 --&gt;.

* [''[[Babe (film)|Babe]]''] also inspired me to become vegan. After having worked all morning with these extraordinary animals, I'd see their relatives on the lunch table. They had ham and duck, every animal except horse. That's when I said, &quot;I've got to try to be a vegan.&quot; And for the most part, I have been vegan since 1994.
** [[James Cromwell]], [http://www.humanesociety.org/news/magazines/2015/01-02/unprejudiced-heart-interview-with-babe-actor-james-cromwell.html &quot;The Tale of an Unprejudiced Heart: An Interview with James Cromwell&quot;] by ''[[w:The Humane Society of the United States|The Humane Society of the United States]]'' (17 December 2014).

* The reason I kind of started this [vegan lifestyle] was because I had a fish that was highly intelligent. When I would come through the door ... this blowfish would go to the side and get excited ... and he really knew who I was. He really got excited when I was home. ... And one day ... I went to a sushi restaurant with a few of my friends and they were serving blowfish, and I thought, &quot;You know, this is an intelligent animal.&quot;
** [[Miley Cyrus]], [https://archive.org/details/WNBC_20151002_033400_The_Tonight_Show_Starring_Jimmy_Fallon interview at ''The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon''] (1 October 2015).

== D ==

* I used to think that I needed chicken and fish as a source of protein in order to train properly. I subscribed to that theory for a while and then when I finally decided to cut everything out and I was doing it right, it felt really good and I didn’t lose any strength at all–I feel like I recover quicker so it’s been good. ... A lot of people try to stay away from carbs and stuff like that, but I eat a lot of brown rice and just good clean complex carbs and it works for me. ... In this day and age I don’t see any reason to contributing to a really awful industry [''sc.'' the meat industry] that causes too many problems. It’s horrible what the animals have to go through on a daily basis, it’s just awful–they’re born and raised in really nasty conditions and it’s better not to contribute to that whole thing. ... I just don’t see in this day and age a real reason to contribute to that when you can be really healthy and not eat that sort of thing and not cause a lot of suffering.
** [[Mac Danzig]], [http://www.themmadigest.com/lean-mean-and-green%E2%80%A6vegan-fighter-mac-danzig-packs-a-punch/ &quot;Lean, Mean and Green...Vegan Fighter Mac Danzig Packs a Punch&quot;, in ''The MMA Digest.com'' (7 August 2007)].

* I read a couple of good books and realized the ethical implications of eating meat and the countless other ways of abusing animals and nature. It made me cry. There simply is no need for us to consume animal products and we cause a lot of harm by doing so; that is the definition of crime. I couldn't be anything else but vegan after understanding that.
** [[Alexander Dargatz]], [http://www.veganbodybuilding.com/?page=bio_alex interview with Vegan Bodybuilding &amp; Fitness (2005)].

* Most people don’t think about the fact that they’re eating animals. When they’re eating a steak or eating chicken, most people don’t think about the tremendous suffering that those animals endure simply to become food products to be consumed by human beings.
** [[Angela Davis]], [https://www.nuorigins.com/black-vegan-celebrities/ Top Five Black Celebrities Who Promote Veganism (2019)]

* I’ve been vegan for 10 years now, and there’s nothing in my life that hasn’t become better as a result. ... To perform my sports and to stay alive in high risk environments, I need to be at top level athletic fitness. I also need to be highly attuned to the natural environment, and able to listen to myself and any outside messages. I have found that eating a vegan diet gives me optimum physical and mental awareness.
** [[Steph Davis]], [https://www.vegansociety.com/whats-new/blog/interview-steph-davis-worlds-leading-vegan-climber &quot;An interview with Steph Davis, the world's leading vegan climber&quot;], [[The Vegan Society]] (29 July 2016).

* I personally chose to go vegan because I educated myself on factory farming and [[cruelty to animals]], and I suddenly realized that what was on my plate were living things, with feelings. And I just couldn’t disconnect myself from it any longer. I read books like ''{{w|Diet for a New America}}'' and saw documentaries like ''[[w:Earthlings (film)|Earthlings]]'' and ''{{w|Meet Your Meat}}'', and it became an easy choice for me. If you choose to educate yourself, it’ll be an easy choice for you, too.
** [[Ellen DeGeneres]], from her website; as quoted in [https://www.peta.org/blog/ellen-went-vegan/ &quot;Why Ellen Went Vegan&quot;, in ''Peta.org'' (9 November 2009)].

* I decided to become Vegan simply because if you care about animals and people, there is no other choice but to be vegan. It’s a very simple equation — meat and dairy = animal and human suffering. ... When you know the truth about meat and dairy the hard thing would be to continue to eat them.
** [[Chris DeRose]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20111012130026/http://veganeasy.org/Chris-DeRose &quot;Chris DeRose: Vegan Easy Challenge Ambassador&quot;, interview with ''VeganEasy.org'' (2011)].

* I think it’s more difficult to be vegan than [[LGBT|gay]]. I think people have a harder time accepting it; people feel more uncomfortable with a vegan at their dinner table than they do a lesbian. It’s confronting. It’s kind of suggesting that what someone else is doing is bad or wrong, and it hits them on a more personal level. ... If somebody is setting there eating a steak watching you eat polenta, they’re thinking that you’re trying to preach to them or you’re trying to convert them in some way. Whereas with being gay, I don’t think anyone’s concerned that that’s the agenda. “Hey, Mom, you also have to be gay. I’m gay and so should you be!” Certainly when I told her that I was vegan, it forced her to look at her habits.
** [[Portia de Rossi]], interview for ''VegNews'' magazine, July/August 2011 issue. Quoted in ''[http://vegetarianstar.com/2011/07/07/portia-de-rossi-on-vegnews-julyaugust-2011-issue/ VegetarianStar.com]''.
[[File:Will Tuttle at the Intersectional Justice Conference.jpg|thumb|The contemporary vegan movement is founded on loving-kindness and mindfulness of our effects on others. It is revolutionary because it transcends and renounces the violent core of the herding culture in which we live. ~ [[Will Tuttle]]]]

* I’m vegan. it’s really changed, like, my eyes, my, you know, everything.
** [[Portia de Rossi]], said in her shoot for People’s most beautiful list, as quoted in [http://www.ecorazzi.com/2013/04/26/portia-de-rossi-stays-youthful-with-vegan-diet/ &quot;Portia de Rossi Stays Youthful with Vegan Diet&quot;, in ''Ecorazzi'' (26 April 2013)].

* Vegan is a term that refers to people who have chosen a way of living guided by [[ahimsa]] (nonharming) and reverence for life. ... Vegans recognize the value of life to all living creatures and extend to them the compassion, kindness, and justice in [[Golden Rule|The Golden Rule]]. Vegans see animals as free entities in nature, not slaves or vassals, nor as chattel, pieces of goods to be bought and sold. An animal has feelings, an animal has sensitivity, an animal has a place in life, and the vegan respects this life that is manifest in the animal. Vegans do not wish to harm the animal any more than they would want the animal to harm them. This is an example of The Golden Rule precisely as it should be applied.
** [[H. Jay Dinshah]], [http://www.americanvegan.org/animals.html &quot;Go Vegan for the Animals&quot; (adapted from &quot;Let’s Talk about Veganism&quot; in ''Powerful Vegan Messages'', 2014), in the American Vegan Society website].

* I have been a vegetarian for a few years and just recently I have become a vegan ... I took this step following my inner feeling. ... If we think for a moment how man manages animals and what impact he has on animal world we could say he was not human at all. Just think of all slaughter houses and production of beef or poultry where conditions for animals are impossible. Animals are transported in lorries many times without any water, which is extremely cruel. It is not that people are bad, they just don't think about it. ... it is unreasonable to expect from people with lower levels of consciousness, who are cruel to animals, to end wars, to stop manipulating others, to help eradicate world poverty. In short as long as consciousness level is low all the disagreements in the world today will remain and possibly increase to the point of annihilation of humans.
** [[Janez Drnovšek]], [http://www.osvoboditev-zivali.org/?arhv=01738 “Vegetarianism would increase the chance for long-term survival of mankind,” interview with ''Osvoboditev živali'' (January 2006)].

* I guess I'm a very compassionate person so hearing about animal abuse kind of triggered something in me that maybe I should try it... I'm really into health and fitness and wellness, so this kind of tied into it. I thought I was just going to do it until the (2010) Olympics, but then I didn't go to the Olympics, and then I ended up liking it so much, I think I'll be a vegan for the rest of my life. ... My energy is so much better, I don't hit that wall at 2 o'clock or 3 o'clock in the afternoon, I sleep well, my skin is better, everything just feels well. And it transfers into my attitude, everything in my life has just become a lot calmer, everything I'm putting in me is clean and genuine and organic and in turn, the way I live my life has started to follow that path.
** [[Meagan Duhamel]], [http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2012/02/07/canadian-pairs-champ-meag_n_1261130.html &quot;Canadian pairs champ Meagan Duhamel credits vegan diet for good health&quot;] by Lori Ewing, [[w:The Canadian Press|The Canadian Press]], in ''The Huffington Post Canada'' (2 July 2012).

== E ==

* As a physician I am embarrassed by the lack of initiative and obstructionist policies of my own medical profession toward healthier lifestyles. This is not surprising. Physicians lack training and knowledge of nutrition and are self-serving when they proclaim “patients won't follow plant-based nutrition.” Having counseled patients with severe coronary artery heart disease for over twenty years, I find the opposite to be true. Patients sent home to die by expert cardiologists after failing bypass or stents rejoice as they lose weight, eliminate angina chest pains, lessen their medication, lower their blood sugars, decrease or come off their insulin, revert their positive stress test back to normal, selectively diminish the plaque plugging their arteries, and resume a fully active life empowered by the knowledge that they, not their physicians, have become the locus of control for the disease that was destroying them.
** [[Caldwell Esselstyn]], [https://books.google.it/books?id=6Aosc1wlAXcC&amp;pg=PA1 Foreword] to ''No More Bull!'' by [[Howard Lyman]] (New York: Scribner, 2005).

== F ==

* I don’t necessarily trust the way the food is being processed. I don’t agree with the way the animals are mass-slaughtered. So that’s one thing that kind of got me looking at what they call a vegan diet. ... My mind is extremely clear. I’m not easily flustered [now]. My attitude is totally different. I had a really bad temper growing up, something I worked on for years. And now I’m able to recognize different emotions and I’m not governed by them. Doesn’t mean I don’t have them. I’m human. But I’m not easily moved. ... I think a lot of people look at things as being restrictions, but that kind of shows me the way they view life. I don’t view it as restriction ― I look at what I ''can'' eat, what’s going to be the best source of energy for me.
** [[Kendrick Farris]], [https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kendrick-farris-olympics-vegan_us_57ab6be7e4b0db3be07ccc07?guccounter=1 &quot;Kendrick Farris, The Only Male U.S. Weightlifter In The Olympics, Is Totally Vegan&quot;, interview with ''HuffPost'' (10 August 2016)].
[[File:Ellen DeGeneres-2009.jpg|thumb|I personally chose to go vegan because I educated myself on factory farming and cruelty to animals, and I suddenly realized that what was on my plate were living things, with feelings. And I just couldn’t disconnect myself from it any longer. ~ [[Ellen DeGeneres]]]]

* Everyone has a goal, and mine right now is to become vegan – I think of them as modern saints, as they make sacrifices for a better, collective good.
** [[Elio Fiorucci]], [https://www.finedininglovers.com/stories/interview-vegetarian-designer-elio-fiorucci/ &quot;Elio Fiorucci: Fashion, Love Therapy &amp; Vegetarianism&quot;, interview with Roberta Schira, in ''FineDiningLovers.com'' (15 November 2013)].

* One of the main arguments that I make is that although almost everyone accepts that it is morally wrong to inflict &quot;unnecessary&quot; suffering and death on animals, 99% of the suffering and death that we inflict on animals can be justified ''only'' by our pleasure, amusement, or convenience. For example, the best justification that we have for killing the billions of nonhumans that we eat every year is that we enjoy the taste of animal flesh and animal products. This is not an acceptable justification if we take seriously, as we purport to, that it is wrong to inflict unnecessary suffering or death on animals, and it illustrates the confused thinking that I characterize as our &quot;moral schizophrenia&quot; when it comes to nonhumans.
** [[Gary L. Francione]], [http://www.abolitionistapproach.com/vivisection-part-one-the-necessity-of-vivisection/#.VoMPQraLRkg &quot;Vivisection, Part One: The “Necessity” of Vivisection&quot;, in ''Animal Rights: The Abolitionist Approach'' (25 April 2007)].

* Soon, you'll notice people (especially men) flocking to the new you. Not just because you're skinny but because you are happier, healthier, and eating a cruelty-free diet. So feel free to share your new wealth of information with everyone who asks. Spread the good word, but be careful not to preach. You'll see that some people get very defensive about their diets when you tell them about yours. Even if you are being very non-judgmental, people may feel threatened by your righteousness. Understandably, your being a vegan shines a spotlight on the cruelty they're contributing to, and it makes them feel uncomfortable.
** Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin, ''[[Skinny Bitch]]'' (Philadelphia: Running Press, 2005), ch. 13.

* Being a veganist is good for your health, it's good for the environment, and it's certainly good for the animals, but it also has a powerful spiritual component. When you begin eating consciously, with compassion and thoughtfulness, you attain a certain lightness and inner peace, a sense of connectedness to the larger world.
** [[Kathy Freston]], ''[https://books.google.it/books?id=mwdj9v_wlZkC&amp;pg=PA0 Veganist: Lose Weight, Get Healthy, Change the World]'' (New York: Weinstein Books, 2011), p. ix.

== G ==

* When we have a choice it is always best to choose kindness. Veganism is simply the kinder choice.
** [[Sharon Gannon]], [http://thekindlife.com/blog/2014/09/an-interview-with-world-renowned-yogini-sharon-gannon/ “An Interview With World-Renowned Yogini Sharon Gannon” by Alicia Silverstone, in ''TheKindLife.com'' (17 September 2014)].

* To be a joyful vegan in the world today is to become involved in the most radical, positive, political revolution ever. A fork can be a weapon of mass destruction or an instrument of peace. Everything a vegan eats or consumes reflects a choice that takes into account the well-being of others rather than just ourselves—and that ''is'' a big difference. Each one of us can make a huge difference by choosing not to eat animals. By choosing kindness over cruelty, we contribute to the sustainability of our planet Earth and can even change the destiny of our species and all the species on Earth. ... To become a vegan is by far the best way we have at this time in history to contribute to peace on Earth. Being a vegan in the world today is to be involved in a nonviolent, direct-action protest against cruelty and an affirmation of kindness.
** [[Sharon Gannon]], ''Simple Recipes for Joy'' (New York: Penguin, 2014, ebook edition), [https://books.google.it/books?id=a2dVAwAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PT32 pp. 32]-33.
[[File:Ellen Page.jpg|thumb|Why are vegans made fun of while the inhumane factory farming process regards animals and the natural world merely as commodities to be exploited for profit? ~ [[Ellen Page]]]]

* Over a year ago I changed my diet to a vegan diet, really just to experiment to see what it was like. And I felt better, so I continued with it. Now, for many people, that choice is connected to environmental ethics and health issues and all that stuff, but I just wanted to try it to see what it was like. In a visceral way, I felt better, so I've continued with it and I'm likely to continue it for the rest of my life.
** [[Al Gore]], &quot;[http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/820985#vp_7 Al Gore on Medicine's Inconvenient Truths]&quot;, interview with [[w:Eric Topol|Eric Topol]], page 7 of 8, in ''{{w|Medscape}}'' (7 March 2014).

* A plant-based diet is like a one-stop shop against chronic diseases.
** [[Michael Greger]], quoted in [[James E. McWilliams]], [https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/01/the-evidence-for-a-vegan-diet/251498/ &quot;The Evidence for a Vegan Diet&quot;, in ''The Atlantic'' (18 January 2012)].

* When you’re treating diseases with drugs, you know there’s one drug you take for cholesterol, a different class of drugs you take for high blood pressure, different class of drugs you take for diabetes, but, with diet, a plant-based diet affects all these diseases. One diet to kinda rule them all.
** [[Michael Greger]], interview in the documentary ''[[What the Health]]'' by Kip Andersen (2017).

== H ==
* I watched a TV documentary about how animals are farmed, killed and prepared for us to eat. I saw all those cows and pigs and realised I couldn’t be a part of it any more. It was horrible. I did some research to make sure I could still obtain enough protein to fight and, once satisfied that I could, I stopped [eating animal products]. I’ll never go back.
** [[David Haye]], reported in [http://www.peta.org.uk/blog/petas-sexiest-vegan-celebrities-2014-thandie-newton-david-haye-nab-top-honours/ “PETA’s Sexiest Vegan Celebrities of 2014: Thandie Newton and David Haye Nab Top Honours!,” in ''Peta.org.uk'' (23 December 2014)].
[[File:Liam Hemsworth June 2016.jpg|thumb|I feel nothing but positive, mentally and physically. I love it. I feel like it also has a kind of a domino effect on the rest of my life. ~ [[Liam Hemsworth]]]]

* We all wanna feel great. We all wanna look great, have more energy. The most important thing is about having the right fuel in your body. I can't remember feeling this great in my whole 32 years of my life.
** [[Lewis Hamilton]], on his vegan lifestyle. Interview in the documentary-film ''[[The Game Changers]]'' by Louie Psihoyos (2018)&lt;!-- 1:18:12 --&gt;.

* It's been at least 20 years. I used to eat burgers and steak, and I would just be knocked out afterward; I had to give it up. The first thing was dairy. I was about 24 years old and I had tons of acne and mucus. I met some random girl on a bus who told me to quit dairy and all those symptoms would go away three days later. By God she was right.
** [[Woody Harrelson]], explaining why he became vegan. Interview with ''[[w:Maxim (magazine)|Maxim]]'', as quoted in [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/23/woody-harrelsons-vegan-ac_n_295765.html &quot;Woody Harrelson’s Vegan Acne Cure&quot;, in ''HuffingtonPost.com'' (23 September 2009)].

* My attitude toward becoming a vegan was similar to [[Augustine of Hippo|Augustine]]’s attitude toward becoming celibate — “God grant me abstinence, but not yet.” But with animal agriculture as the leading cause of species extinction, water pollution, ocean dead zones and habitat destruction, and with the death spiral of the ecosystem ever more pronounced, becoming vegan is the most important and direct change we can immediately make to save the planet and its species. It is one that my wife — who was the engine behind our family’s shift — and I have made.
** [[Chris Hedges]], [https://www.truthdig.com/articles/saving-the-planet-one-meal-at-a-time/ &quot;Saving the Planet, One Meal at a Time&quot;], ''{{w|Truthdig}}'' (10 November 2014).

*After all the information I gathered about the mistreatment of animals, I couldn’t continue to eat meat. The more I was aware of, the harder and harder it was to do. ... I went and saw a nutritionist to do a blood-diet analysis. He basically told me, based on my blood type and all the other different little tests they do, that red meat was good for me, and I should eat a lot more red meat and various other foods. So I started doing that, and the more red meat I ate, the worse I felt. At the same time, I have a lot of friends who are vegan. [''Hunger Games'' co-star] [[Woody Harrelson]] was actually one of the original reasons I became vegan, because he’s been vegan for, I don’t know, 30 years or something. So, with the facts I was gathering, and then just how I was physically feeling, I felt like I had to do something different, so I adopted this vegan-diet lifestyle. ... I feel nothing but positive, mentally and physically. I love it. I feel like it also has a kind of a domino effect on the rest of my life.
** [[Liam Hemsworth]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20151021012752/http://www.mensfitness.com/life/entertainment/liam-hemsworth-force-nature &quot;Liam Hemsworth: A Force of Nature&quot;], interview with ''{{w|Men's Fitness}}'' (7 October 2015).

== J ==

* It started with me being a vegetarian, and then it eventually moved towards veganism. Now it's permanent. It's a true way of life. As a professional athlete, my diet helps me tremendously. There's no difficulty in me making weight before fights, or maintaining it. I feel better than ever, light on my feet... Heck, I even think with a more clear mind, all from my eating the right choices for me and my body. I research everyday on veganism, learning new things daily, which is pretty cool.
** [[Bryant Jennings]], [https://hypefreshmag.com/culture/exclusive-bryant-jennings-the-man-behind-the-gloves &quot;Exclusive: Bryant Jennings: The Man Behind The Gloves&quot;, interview with ''Hypefresh Magazine'' (18 April 2015)].
[[File:Russell Simmons 2012 Shankbone.JPG|thumb|The more I learned about factory farming... the more I realized that I could not, in good conscience, be a contributor to such violence. ~ [[Russell Simmons]]]]

* I was raised Vegan since birth. ... I remember watching undercover investigation videos and reading the pamphlets that were mailed to the house when we were kids—I felt deeply for the animals at an early age. I remember how the other parents of my childhood friends would either get upset or interested when their kids would come home after sleepovers at my house—I felt it was my duty to show my friends what was happening to animals. ... Veganism is the ultimate form of compassion. ... I never considered my being Vegan was for health reasons—it was always for the love and respect I had for animals. And because of that love and respect I have for non-human animals my compassion flows over to all living beings, of all types. ... I am encouraged by compassionate souls and the love I see in the eyes of those I've committed my life to stand up for.
** [[Seba Johnson]], [http://www.vivalavegan.net/articles/561-interview-with-seba-johnson-vegan-olympic-ski-racer.html &quot;Interview with Seba Johnson: Vegan Olympic Ski Racer&quot;, in ''Viva La Vegan!'' (August 2013)].

* I’ve only known a vegan life and have been constantly teaching others of the joys and benefits of being a vegan ... As an adult, I THANK my Mother profusely for being extremely honest with me as a kid and for never hiding the truth about milk, “meat”, animal experimentation ... There is [[speciesism]] and that is about as cruel as it gets because it sets the stage and practice for cruelty amongst human beings. ... Discrimination is discrimination—as abuse ''is'' abuse ... regardless of an animals human or nonhuman form, gender, ethnicity, ability, sexual orientation or level of intelligence/knowledge it should be our birthright to LIVE our lives peacefully and harmoniously without inflicting pain on others. People who inflict intentional pain without moral or ethical regard for other human or nonhuman animals are just reminders of how much further we have to go until oppression is completely eradicated.
** [[Seba Johnson]], [http://www.theghostsinourmachine.com/interview-with-seba-johnson/ &quot;Interview with Seba Johnson&quot;, in ''The Ghosts in Our Machine'' (2014)].

* I'm healthier and I can run longer and faster because I eat a plant-based diet. But I don't preach to my carnivorous friends or lambaste anyone who eats a baked potato slathered with butter and sour cream. Anyone who pays attention to what they eat and how it affects them will naturally move toward plants — and toward health.
** [[Scott Jurek]], ''[https://books.google.it/books?id=WDwS3NAS26gC&amp;pg=PA0 Eat &amp; Run: My Unlikely Journey to Ultramarathon Greatness]'' (Boston and New York: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2012), ch. 15, p. 149.

== K ==

* Veganism has given me a higher level of awareness and spirituality, primarily because the energy associated with eating has shifted to other areas. ... If you're violent to yourself by putting [harmful] things into your body that violate its spirit, it will be difficult not to perpetuate that [violence] onto someone else.
** [[Dexter Scott King]], [https://books.google.it/books?id=SgcAAAAAMBAJ&amp;pg=PA128 &quot;A King Among Men&quot;, interview with Jill Howard Church, in ''Vegetarian Times'', Issue 218 (October 1995), p. 128].
[[File:Seba blueshirt 3 web2.jpg|thumb|Veganism is the ultimate form of compassion. ~ [[Seba Johnson]]]]

* The very saddest sound in all my memory was burned into my awareness at age five on my uncle's dairy farm in Wisconsin. A cow had given birth to a beautiful male calf. The mother was allowed to nurse her calf but for a single night. On the second day after birth, my uncle took the calf from the mother and placed him in the veal pen in the barn—only ten yards away, in plain view of the mother. The mother cow could see her infant, smell him, hear him, but could not touch him, comfort him, or nurse him. The heartrending bellows that she poured forth—minute after minute, hour after hour, for five long days—were excruciating to listen to. They are the most poignant and painful auditory memories I carry in my brain. Since that age, whenever I hear anyone postulate that animals cannot really feel emotions, I need only to replay that torturous sound in my memory of that mother cow crying her bovine heart out to her infant. Mother's love knows no species barriers, and I believe that all people who are vegans in their hearts and souls know that to be true.
** [[Michael Klaper]], quoted in ''The Vegan Sourcebook'' by [[Joanne Stepaniak]] (Lowell House, 1998), pp. 39-40.

* If I could deliver one message to the researchers who are looking for the cause of diabetes, and the cause of clogged arteries, and the cause of high blood pressure, and the cause of obesity, I would tell them the answer is in three words. It's the food! ... If people adopted a plant-based diet, the changes we would see in our individual health, in our national health situation and in this physical, environmental world we live in, would be so profound.
** [[Michael Klaper]], interview in the documentary ''[[What the Health]]'' by Kip Andersen (2017).

* I’ve been a vegan now since 1995, that would be more than 14 years, and as a result I’ve had tremendous health... great energy, clarity — I’ve had the ability to connect my dietary choices with my health. I had Crohn’s growing up and I had a pretty serious bout with it throughout my thirties and forties. When I changed my diet, the symptoms began to disappear. And I started to understand also how the choice of diet affects the environment, resources, energy — it’s a spiritual choice, as well. And so if I had one day to make an imprint on the nation, I’d look at the choices that we make as respect to food. Also, the matters of compassion towards living creatures who become food. We need to be more thoughtful as a nation about the choices that we make and the food that we consume.
** [[Dennis Kucinich]], interview on Reddit, quoted in [http://www.ecorazzi.com/2009/12/21/dennis-kucinich-wants-to-give-a-vegan-chocolate-chip-brownie-to-the-world/ &quot;Dennis Kucinich Wants To Give Vegan Chocolate Chip Brownies To The World&quot;, in ''Ecorazzi'' (21 December 2009)].

* Each time we eat we are choosing to support a system. In our choice of agricultural production methods, we can support one which either helps our future, or one which undermines it. The same is true of our actual dietary choices we make. The healthiest diet is one rich in fresh fruit and vegetables, whole grains and legumes, low in animal products. This is better for the environment, our health and of course animals. I'm a vegan because I care for animals and for the future of our planet. Additionally, a vegan diet helps to prevent and reverse a range of non-communicable diseases including heart disease, high blood pressure, cholesterol, type II diabetes. Each time we eat, we are either feeding disease, or fighting it.
** [[Elizabeth Kucinich]], [https://www.elizabethkucinich.com/issues &quot;Food, Regenerative Agriculture &amp; Climate&quot;, in ''ElizabethKucinich.com'' (2016)].

== L ==

* I want to ... empower other women to go vegan to feel better about their body and to live a compassionate lifestyle. ... I'm vegan for the animals. If you go into the factory farms, when you see what these animals endure and the torture, it's not right and the only way to not participate in that is to go vegan.
** [[Bonnie-Jill Laflin]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IT0K1OpYCo&amp;t=3s &quot;Strong Vegan Woman, NBA&quot;, video interview with PETA (25 July 2017)].
[[File:Dave Leduc WLC Post fight.jpg|thumb|Veganism. It’s not a diet, it’s a philosophy, which aims to cause as less cruelty around you as practically possible. ~ [[Dave Leduc]]]]

* Veganism. It’s not a diet, it’s a philosophy, which aims to cause as less cruelty around you as practically possible.
** [[Dave Leduc]], [https://plantbasednews.org/culture/sport/world-champion-lethwei-fighter-dave-leduc-says-being-vegan-is-a-philosophy-not-a-diet/ ''Plant Based News''], (2nd February, 2021)

* In fact, my best year of track competition was the first year I ate a vegan diet. Moreover, by continuing to eat a vegan diet, my weight is under control, I like the way I look. (I know that sounds vain, but all of us want to like the way we look.) I enjoy eating more, and I feel great. ... I remember vividly making the decision in July of 1990 to become a vegan. ... And I had my best year as an athlete ever! ... Your body is your temple. If you nourish it properly, it will be good to you and you will increase its longevity.
** [[Carl Lewis]], [https://books.google.it/books?id=gRB5UjsxHy0C&amp;pg=PT5 introduction] to ''Very Vegetarian'' by Jannequin Bennett (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2001).

* Eating vegan is NOT...... a way for you to feel superior to other people... Hey, we're all human... composed of similar weaknesses and flaws... And for a lot of people, one big commonality is that we want to matter... to stand out... to be special. A productive way to achieve... is to do things like learn... work out, and have stimulating conversations with interesting people...  a less productive way... is to try to put people down... some vegans ...adopted a super-aggro vegan stance purely as a way to make other people feel shitty and make themselves seem, by contrast, superior... We don't believe in that... we want people to eat vegan because of the amazing, compelling reasons to eat vegan...
** Matt Letten, Phil Letten, [https://books.google.com/books?id=79k0DwAAQBAJ ''Vodka is Vegan''], (5 Jun 2018)

* Only by discarding a diet based on rotting corpses could men become sane. The fantasy of needing a blood-diet, a corpse-diet, was inseparable from the distorted relation to the parents I had been trying to clarify in myself and which one way or another existed in everyone. The corpse-eater was still in fantasy feeding on the parents. We discussed these ideas and decided to eat no more meat, no more animal products of any kind (such as milk, cheese, eggs) and to discard mineral salt. Apart from a few extreme applications of our position, when I tried to eat such nauseous things as raw potatoes, we found that we felt very much better in health.
** [[Jack Lindsay]], ''Fanfrolico and After'' (London: Bodley Head, 1962), pp. 217-218.
[[File:Portia de Rossi.jpg|thumb|I’m vegan. It’s really changed, like, my eyes, my, you know, everything. ~ [[Portia de Rossi]]]]

* I do recommend the vegan diet because you wake up and feel great!
** [[Jennifer Lopez]], interview with New York radio station Z100, as quoted in [http://www.ecorazzi.com/2014/05/13/jennifer-lopez-feels-great-on-vegan-diet/ &quot;Jennifer Lopez Feels 'Great' on Vegan Diet!&quot;, in ''Ecorazzi'' (13 May 2014)].

* For those who are still merely vegetarian and not yet vegan, I ask, what in heaven's name are you waiting for? If you are trying to avoid the health pitfalls of eating carcasses—high fat, saturated fat, and cholesterol content; lack of fiber; deficiency of vitamins and enzymes; abundance of stored toxins—well, then take a good look at the dairy you're eating. Dairy is basically liquid meat without the iron. ... Milk should be viewed as no more or less than what it is: a delivery system for fat, cholesterol, blood, pus, antibiotics, and carcinogenic growth hormones. ... If your reason for abstaining from meat has more to do with an emotional attachment to animals than a concern for your health, then understand that dairy cows are truly sick, miserable, abused creatures ... Someone who has become vegetarian for emotional reasons ought to switch to the vegan diet as swiftly and surely as someone brought to vegetarianism for reasons of health. 
** [[Howard Lyman]] with Glen Merzer and Joanna Samorow-Merzer, ''No More Bull!: The Mad Cowboy Targets America's Worst Enemy: Our Diet'' (New York: Scribner, 2005), [https://books.google.it/books?id=6Aosc1wlAXcC&amp;pg=PA79 pp. 79]-80.
[[File:Evanna Lynch Headshot 2018.jpg|thumb|I think the root of this whole lifestyle is Compassion. It’s a daily reminder that we are all one. I believe veganism is what will heal this planet. ~ [[Evanna Lynch]]]]

* I have this small but sure voice deep inside me that says ‘NO’ every time I witness violence and I don’t ever want to stifle that voice with apathy. Supporting animal abuse in any way quiets that voice. To hurt animals is to disconnect me from that most caring, compassionate voice. I see them as such spiritual creatures, much more awake than humans and I feel if I can accept the abuse of these innocent, sentient creatures and my role in it then I could easily become apathetic about...well, everything, and that is a scary thought. I guess what I’m saying is veganism was always my nature but it wasn’t nurtured in me so it took me a long time to make the connection. I had gone vegetarian when I was 11 because I was viscerally repelled by the idea of eating animal flesh and there was no way to avoid the fact that someone had been killed for that piece of meat. ... it took me until 2015 to become fully vegan. ... I think the root of this whole lifestyle is Compassion. It’s a daily reminder that we are all one. I believe veganism is what will heal this planet. 
** [[Evanna Lynch]], [https://www.veganfoodandliving.com/vegan-lifestyle/interviews/exclusive-interview-with-evanna-lynch/ &quot;EXCLUSIVE: Interview with Evanna Lynch&quot;], Veganfoodandliving.com (19 October 2016).

== M ==

* Do not unjustly eat fish the water has given up,&lt;br /&gt;
:And do not desire as food the flesh of slaughtered animals,&lt;br /&gt;
:Or the white milk of mothers who intended its pure draught
:for their young, not noble ladies.
:And do not grieve the unsuspecting birds by taking eggs;
:for injustice is the worst of crimes.
:And spare the honey which the bees get industriously
:from the flowers of fragrant plants;
:For they did not store it that it might belong to others,
:Nor did they gather it for bounty and gifts.
:I washed my hands of all this; and wish that I
:Perceived my way before my hair went gray
:* [[Al-Maʿarri]], as quoted in [[:w:Reynold_A._Nicholson|Reynold A. Nicholson]], ''Studies in Islamic Poetry'' (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1921), &quot;The Meditations of Al-Maʿarri&quot;, [[iarchive:studiesinislamic00nichuoft/page/134|pp. 134–135]].

* I remember one day in August of 2003 I made the decision to become (near) vegan and that once the decision was made I felt great emotional alignment within my heart. I knew this was the right thing for me to do and I also knew that I was making a decision that I would be committed to for the rest of my life. At last my beliefs and my ethics had come into alignment.
** [[John Mackey (businessman)|John Mackey]], as quoted in [[Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson|Jeffrey M. Masson]], ''The Face on Your Plate: The Truth About Food'' (New York: Norton &amp; Company, 2009), Introduction, [https://books.google.it/books?id=-LeUV2wr2BoC&amp;pg=PA15 p. 15].

* Many years ago, when I was merely a vegetarian, I met the great [[Cesar Chavez]], and he said to me: &quot;If you are interested in preventing animal suffering, the first thing you should give up is eggs and milk, because the animals who produce those foods lead the most unhappy lives. You would do better to eat meat and stop eating eggs and dairy products.&quot; I was shocked, since I had no intention of eating meat but had never thought of giving up eggs or dairy products. But when I looked into it I realized he was right, and now, years later, after I have studied the matter up close, I know for certain that he was completely correct about the cruel treatment of the animals raised for such products. The advantages of a vegan diet are enormous for our health, for the environment, for the animals themselves.
** [[Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson|Jeffrey M. Masson]], ''[https://books.google.it/books?id=RbxeFLpNnxUC&amp;pg=PA0 The Pig Who Sang to the Moon: The Emotional World of Farm Animals]'' (New York: Ballantine Books, 2004), Conclusion, p. 226.

* Among the many prejudices against vegans is the belief that they are always preaching to others and trying to convert them. I do not think that is true; we are incredibly tolerant. We are always polite when others ask, “Don’t you ever get tempted by a bacon sandwich?”... In fact, most vegans I know are rather coy about explaining why they are vegan, mostly because the question tends to be asked when we are sitting a dinner table full of meat eaters, and it seems rather impolite to answer. However, seeing as we are not at a dinner party now, here is the ethical case... If people are vegetarians for ethical reasons—because they believe that killing and eating animals is wrong—they really ought to be vegan, too. The average human eats more than 11,000 animals in his or her lifetime, but millions of calves and chicks are also killed every year as “waste products” of milk and egg production.
** [[Kerry McCarthy]], [http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201011/cmhansrd/cm111101/debtext/111101-0004.htm#1111025000002 Debate on World Vegan Day] (transcript in www.parliament.uk), [[w:House of Commons of the United Kingdom|House of Commons]], 1 November 2011.
[[File:RZA 2009 (cropped).jpg|thumb|When you think about a better tomorrow, you think about veganism in the world. ~ [[RZA]]]]

* Vegans are duly rewarded for their deep sacrifice when they discover that, in fact, plants provide all of the protein, amino acids, essential fats, vitamins, and minerals they need, and that eliminating meat and dairy from their diet provides a great many health benefits.
** [[John A. McDougall]], ''The Starch Solution'' (New York: Rodale Books, 2013), ch. 10, [https://books.google.it/books?id=if9YAQAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PA146 p. 146].

* The transformations initiated by a healthy vegan diet go well beyond physical health. For those who want it to be, a plant-based diet is also a potent political comment on our broken food system. ... we're looking at a diet for which the ultimate beneficiary is the individual. Healthy veganism explicitly serves no corporate or industrial gods. In fact, it counters these interests. ... If the prospect of simultaneously giving corporate food executives nightmares while achieving personal dietary empowerment -- not to mention lowering your carbon footprint and minimizing animal suffering -- has any appeal, then veganism is for you.
** [[James E. McWilliams]], [https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/01/the-evidence-for-a-vegan-diet/251498/ &quot;The Evidence for a Vegan Diet&quot;, in ''The Atlantic'' (18 January 2012)].

* I came to the understanding that individually we are responsible for the way in which we live and for the care of our human frame by good nutrition, proper exercise and a balanced lifestyle. It is this, together with a strong focused mind, that enables us to draw from our vast inner resources and strength to make the most of our time on this planet. The changes in my life came by way of a massive physical and psychological shock and were implemented for the purpose of healing and motivating my recovery. A change in our diet and lifestyle of course can be started at any time, and is of interest to anybody wishing to maximise their health and vitality, leading to a more fulfilling life. This was how I discovered the benefits of cutting meat and dairy from my diet and then taking the correct care of my body’s nutritional requirements to help heal my mind, body and soul.
** [[Heather Mills]], [http://www.heathermills.org/veganism/ &quot;Discovering Veganism&quot;, in ''heathermills.org'' (2016)].

* A lot of people had doubted me when I first became vegan, but my energy levels increased incredibly and my iron, my B12, everything that people said would become deficient, were amazing. I thought, I'm gonna make sure I'm beating them all on the track. I mean, we're all friends, but it was pretty cool to finish my Australian domestic season undefeated. And to win the nationals was obviously that little cherry on top.
** [[Morgan Mitchell]], interview in the documentary-film ''[[The Game Changers]]'' by Louie Psihoyos (2018)&lt;!-- 12:40 --&gt;.

* Certainly, if the entire world decided to become vegan tomorrow, a whole host of the world's problems would disappear overnight. [[Climate change]] would decrease by 25 percent, deforestation would cease, rainforests would be preserved, our water- and air-quality would increase, life-expectancy rates would increase, and our rates of cancer would plummet, so certainly, with that one action of becoming vegan you are quite effectively making the world a better place.
** [[Moby]], responding to the question &quot;What do you think of the view that the adoption and promotion of veganism is the most important form of activism an animal advocate can undertake?&quot;, in [http://www.vegnews.com/web/articles/page.do?pageId=214&amp;catId=5 &quot;Interview with Moby&quot;, in ''VegNews'' (1 December 2008)].

* Mainly the fact that I love animals and don’t want to be involved in anything that causes or contributes to animal suffering. Also, I never really liked meat that much, unless it neither looked [n]or tasted like meat. Like taco filling. But, mainly because I love animals and don’t want them to suffer. Death is unavoidable, suffering is avoidable.
** [[Moby]], on what inspired him to become vegan, from an &quot;[https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1x3ol1/i_am_musician_dj_photographer_and_director_moby/ Ask Me Anything&quot; session on Reddit]; as quoted in [http://www.ecorazzi.com/2014/02/06/vegan-veteran-moby-reveals-on-reddit-why-he-eschews-eating-animals/ &quot;Vegan Veteran Moby Reveals on Reddit Why He Eschews Eating Animals&quot;, in ''Ecorazzi'' (6 February 2014)].

* As a meat-eater, I've long found it convenient to categorise veganism as a response to animal suffering or a health fad. But, faced with these figures, it now seems plain that it's the only ethical response to what is arguably the world's most urgent social justice issue. We stuff ourselves, and the poor get stuffed.
** [[George Monbiot]], &quot;[http://www.guardian.co.uk/famine/story/0,12128,865087,00.html Why vegans were right all along: Famine can only be avoided if the rich give up meat, fish and dairy&quot;, in ''The Guardian'' (24 December 2002)].
[[File:Paul Watson portrait.jpg|thumb|V Stands for Verity, Virtue, Valor, Validity and Veganism. ~ [[Paul Watson]]]]

* For me, the essence of veganism is compassion ... not just compassion for animals, but all the way around.
** [[Victoria Moran]], ''Compassion, the Ultimate Ethic: An Exploration of Veganism'' (Wellingborough: Thorsons, 1985), p. 44.

* We've all heard it: vegans are cool and plant-based dining is hot. What other diet can promise to keep you trim without working at it, clear clogged arteries, save the lives of animals, and do more to stem climate change than driving a Prius—or not driving at all?
** [[Victoria Moran]] with Adair Moran, ''Main Street Vegan: Everything You Need to Know to Eat Healthfully and Live Compassionately in the Real World'' (New York: Penguin, 2012), [https://books.google.it/books?id=RSyom6UrjlUC&amp;pg=PT14 Introduction].

* 98 percent of the animals raised for food suffer horrifically on factory farms before being slaughtered. Every time you eat a vegan meal, you're voting for something different.
** [[Victoria Moran]], ''The Good Karma Diet: Eat Gently, Feel Amazing, Age in Slow Motion'' (New York: Penguin, 2015), [https://books.google.it/books?id=2b3sBAAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PT15 ch. 2].

* I believe that all creatures, all living creatures are born with the right, the inalienable right of freedom, freedom to live our own life in our own way in our own environment making our own decisions, every creature. I believe we are all equal. ... Most people have a problem becoming a vegan or stopping eating meat, but because of how I want to live in this world and how I want to treat other creatures, I have to be a vegan. In order for me to eat meat, I would have to change all of my other beliefs.
** [[Jim Morris (bodybuilder)|Jim Morris]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUtv4slpm-U &quot;The Story of a 78-Year-Old Vegan Bodybuilder - Jim Morris: Lifelong Fitness&quot;, documentary-film on YouTube (11 March 2014)].

* I’ve also been on a pretty strict plant-based diet for 4 months now – feeling stronger, fitter, healthier and more productive. I ride longer distances on my bike, can do more pull-ups than ever, and my brain seems to have a larger capacity for new projects, problem solving, songwriting, and fielding random questions. My health and strength make me a better performer and all that combined gives me more confidence to go out in the world and shine my light. It also makes me a lot better in bed. ... For those curious or concerned about a plant-based diet, check out the film [[w:Forks Over Knives|Forks Over Knives]]. It’s a life changer. You can get all the protein you need from greens, quinoa, and hemp seed.
** [[Jason Mraz]], &quot;[http://jasonmraz.com/journal/2012/plant-based/ Plant-Based&quot;, in ''JasonMraz.com'' (19 January 2012)], quoted in &quot;[http://www.ecorazzi.com/2012/01/21/jason-mraz-is-stronger-and-better-in-bed-on-vegan-diet/ Jason Mraz Is 'Stronger' and 'Better in Bed' on Vegan Diet&quot;, in ''Ecorazzi'' (21 January 2012)].

* Veganism started off as a willpower challenge for me from vegetarianism. ... I just walked into year three, so I'm still a brand-new vegan, but I've learned so much ... and it's done wonders for my entire life. Some of the changes that I've experienced being vegan: I'm no longer anemic. ... I don't get sick! And my skin is clear. I lost 30 pounds. ... Everything in my life has benefited me just eating natural foods, and the more information about the truths and the harsh realities of treatment of animals as well as the process of manufacturing food or meat products—including seafood, including the dairy industry, which I was oblivious to being a vegetarian—prompted me to continue this journey, which I'm very proud of, but it's impossible to turn back, because I no longer see product—I see process. 
** [[Mýa]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rax-2smxzpk &quot;Proud Vegan: 'I No Longer See Product—I See Process'&quot;, video interview with PETA (12 October 2016)].

== N ==

* Although my veganism started out absolutely about health, it's also become about the environment and animal cruelty. The way animals are treated and the conditions are atrocious. They're force fed steroids, the chickens are de-beaked. You end up eating sick, diseased chickens because they're living in shit. It's like a holocaust on animals.
** [[Daniel Negreanu]], [https://munchies.vice.com/en_us/article/mgxwwb/being-vegan-makes-me-a-better-poker-player &quot;Being Vegan Makes Me a Better Poker Player&quot;, interview with Samantha Rea in ''Munchies.Vice.com'' (5 May 2015)].

* As I learned more about veganism, and animal farms and the way animals were treated, it just disgusted me to the point where I could never imagine eating animals again.
** [[Daniel Negreanu]], [https://www.veganlifemag.com/daniel-negeanu-vegan-poker/ &quot;Kid Poker – Vegan Daniel Negeanu Dominates the Card Scene&quot;, interview with Sophie Jackson of ''PokerListings.com'', reported in ''VeganLifeMag.com'' (7 August 2016)].
[[File:Scott Jurek, Ultramarathon Champion.jpg|thumb|I'm healthier and I can run longer and faster because I eat a plant-based diet. But I don't preach to my carnivorous friends or lambaste anyone who eats a baked potato slathered with butter and sour cream. Anyone who pays attention to what they eat and how it affects them will naturally move toward plants — and toward health. ~ [[Scott Jurek]]]]

* I became quite green - I have a very strong connection to nature. I read that if we fish the way we fish, in 2048 there will be no more fish left, which is pretty soon. So it's a statement.
** [[Petra Němcová]], explaining why she became vegan, spotted helping out at an [[w:Ovarian Cancer Research Fund|OCRF]] Benefit, as quoted in [http://www.celebrity-gossip.net/celebrities/hollywood/petra-nemcova-goes-vegan-for-the-fish-201498#blog &quot;Petra Nemcova Goes Vegan For The Fish&quot;, in ''Celebrity-Gossip.net'' (31 July 2007)].

* If you can’t go vegan for the animals, why not go vegan for yourself? By switching to a plant-based diet, you won’t just help save animals’ lives, you might just save the planet. The meat and dairy industries kill 70bn animals every year – and a new report has found that they are on track to become the world’s biggest contributors to climate change. … Eventually, a tipping point will come, and the planet will turn into a gigantic slaughterhouse. It won’t be just calves and piglets these industries are killing – it will be you, your children and the children they could have gone on to raise. … So each time you eat bacon, or drink milk, you have not only invested in the slaughter of pigs or the abuse of cows, you’ve signed your own death warrant. For this is a problem that is predicted to escalate in the coming decades and emissions for agriculture are projected to increase 80% by 2050. In the 1980s, people started saying ‘meat is murder’, but it could become even worse than that – meat could mean Armageddon.
** [[Chas Newkey-Burden]], [https://metro.co.uk/2018/07/18/meat-isnt-just-murder-its-armageddon-why-you-should-become-vegan-now-7732198/ &quot;Meat isn’t just murder, it could mean Armageddon: Why you should become vegan now&quot;, in ''Metro.co.uk'' (18 July 2018)].

* While expressing my milk realised that the equivalent for cows is my milk going to the mouths of people who murder and eat my family #VEGAN
** [[Thandie Newton]], [https://twitter.com/thandienewton/status/477086748728905728 tweet on Twitter (12 Jun 2014)]. Also quoted in [http://www.peta.org.uk/blog/petas-sexiest-vegan-celebrities-2014-thandie-newton-david-haye-nab-top-honours/ &quot;PETA’s Sexiest Vegan Celebrities of 2014: Thandie Newton and David Haye Nab Top Honours!&quot;, in ''Peta.org.uk'' (23 December 2014)].

* It's been about two years. More energy, my face clears up, weight falls off. I lost, like, 30 pounds! ... Initially, I watched the documentary ‘[[What the Health]]’, and to put it frankly, it p***ed me off. It really did. I was like, let me get this straight: The person giving you the disease and the person fighting the disease are in bed together? To hell with y'all. Out of spite, I went vegan because I was like, Y'all don't care.
** [[Ne-Yo]], [http://www.contactmusic.net/ne-yo/news/ne-yo-sheds-30-pounds-thanks-to-veganism_6268516 &quot;Ne-Yo sheds 30 pounds thanks to veganism&quot;, in ''Contactmusic.com'' (18 February 2019)].

* Some may suggest the promotion of veganism is injurious to the poor and marginalized human population of the world. It is true that many people around the world continue to exploit animals for basic subsistence. The continued use of both domesecrated and free-living animals as food because of the absence of other dietary alternatives, linked to [[poverty]], is itself an indictment of the [[capitalist]] system . . . Until nutritious, affordable plant-based food is available to all throughout the world, criticism of peoples who have no alternatives to exploiting animals for subsistence should be redirected against the capitalist system.
** [[David Nibert]], ''[http://cup.columbia.edu/book/animal-oppression-and-human-violence/9780231151894 Animal Oppression and Human Violence: Domesecration, Capitalism, and Global Conflict]'' ({{w|Columbia University Press}}, 2013), p. 262. &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0231151894}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Living a plant based life isn’t just about your food choices nor is it a “diet”; it is about living a healthy life while causing the least amount of harm to animals and our environment. You need to find your reasons for choosing this lifestyle and remember them if and when you think you might stray. Once you learn the real affects animal products have on your health and the environment, it will be an easy choice.
** [[Jayde Nicole]], [https://jaydenicole.com/blog-1/2017/11/30/starting-your-plant-based-lifestyle &quot;Starting Your Plant Based Lifestyle&quot;, in her official website ''JaydeNicole.com'' (30 November 2017)].

== O ==

* Obviously, the health benefits of being vegan are written in stone but I honestly believe the most benefit to me being vegan is that I do not carry the burden of guilt that I would have to endure knowing that I abused others for my own 'benefit'. ... Veganism is everything to me. It touches every part of my life. It is my life. I could not begin to imagine living my life any other way. ... Often people think we are weak in body and mind. They mistake our compassion for weakness. ... My strengths as an athlete are that I am not an athlete for myself. I am doing it for the benefit of others, which makes me work much harder to achieve. I am not selfish enough to want something this badly for myself. It makes me push myself that bit harder knowing that by doing well I can possibly convince others to consider a vegan lifestyle.
** [[Fiona Oakes]], [http://www.vivalavegan.net/list/3-articles/294-interview-with-fiona-oakes-vegan-marathon-runner.html &quot;Interview with Fiona Oakes: Vegan Marathon Runner&quot;, in ''Viva la Vegan!'' (31 May 2012)].

* Veganism is the direct response of my activism with animal rights. For me, to defend and protect animals means not to eat them, use them as clothes, use products tasted on them, pay people that want to show them in cages, all this. It is like someone that works for an ONG that protects children in poor countries: he would never buy products made by children under slavery conditions, wouldn’t he? It is a matter of being coherent with oneself, you cannot separate the two things.
** [[Roger Olmos]], [https://www.lospaziobianco.it/en/interview-with-roger-olmos/ &quot;Interview with Roger Olmos&quot;, in ''LoSpazioBianco.it'' (18 June 2018)].

* The word vegan should not just be used when referring to people who choose not to eat animal products because being vegan includes doing our best to abstain from participating in the other ways animals are exploited, including animal testing, wearing them, etc. Clearly there is a lot of buzz about the word vegan these days, which is great, but I think it is imperative that we keep the dialogue about this word focused on what it truly means. Veganism is simply about one's ethics and not contributing to the suffering of others.
** [[Lauren Ornelas]], [https://www.all-creatures.org/articles/even-lauren-ornelas.pdf &quot;Exclusive EVEN Interview with lauren Ornelas&quot;, in ''All-Creatures.org'' (March 2016)].

* My assistant showed me a video called Forks and Knives (sic) or something, about (cutting out) meat and dairy products, so I thought, 'I'll give this a shot!' ... I feel OK actually, I feel better about myself, you know? I go on binges... That's the reason why I decided to cut out meat out and dairy because I've limited what I can have because when you're on the road and you're travelling, you grab buns and... burgers are everywhere... so now I've just narrowed the margin. ... I'm not saying I'm gonna do it forever; I might go back - when my wife learns to cook, so that'll be never!
** [[Ozzy Osbourne]], on his new vegan diet in order to get healthier, in an interview on his wife [[w:Sharon Osbourne|Sharon]]'s US daytime talkshow ''The Talk'' (25 October 2011), as quoted in [http://www.contactmusic.com/ozzy-osbourne/news/ozzy-osbourne-trying-out-vegan-diet_1252586 &quot;Ozzy Osbourne Trying Out Vegan Diet&quot;, in ''Contactmusic.com'' (25 October 2011)].

== P ==
[[File:Daniela Sea cropped and retouched.jpg|thumb|Animals are not ours to torture and dominate. If I was to eat factory farm meat or dairy products I would be taking part in the torturing and killing of animals. There’s just no way! Animals are my friends, so why would I want to hurt them? ~ [[Daniela Sea]]]]

* Why are vegans made fun of while the inhumane factory farming process regards animals and the natural world merely as commodities to be exploited for profit?
** [[Ellen Page]], [https://twitter.com/ellenpage/status/47690929607409664 tweet on Twitter (15 March 2011)], quoted in [http://www.eonline.com/news/554500/jared-leto-ellen-page-named-sexiest-vegetarians &quot;Jared Leto and Ellen Page Named Sexiest Vegetarians&quot;, in ''E! Online'' (26 June 2014)].
*A global transition to a cruelty-free vegan diet won't just help non-human animals. The transition will also help malnourished humans who could benefit from the grain currently fed to factory-farmed animals. For factory-farming is not just cruel; it's energy-inefficient. Let’s take just one example. Over the past few decades, millions of Ethiopians have died of &quot;food shortages&quot; while Ethiopia grew grain to sell to the West to feed cattle. Western meat-eating habits prop up the price of grain so that poor people in the developing world can’t afford to buy it. In consequence, they starve by the millions.  In my work, I explore futuristic, hi-tech solutions to the problem of suffering. But anybody who seriously wants to reduce human and non-human suffering alike should adopt a cruelty-free vegan lifestyle today.
** [[David Pearce (philosopher)|David Pearce]], [https://www.hedweb.com/animals/interview.html &quot;A World Without Suffering?&quot; (January 2011)]

* Eating a vegan diet — it’s just so much healthier — and you avoid a lot of toxins that could age your skin and your body. I really noticed a difference in my skin not too long after switching to fully vegan. ... The older I’ve gotten, the more it’s occurred to me that I’m doing it in order to live longer, though the vanity component will always be there. ... I just told myself one day that I’m going to do it and I’m going to give myself eight weeks. And that I’m not going to commit on this for a lifetime because it’s psychologically huge for people to wrap their minds around it. And I’m just going to see how I feel, I’m going to test my blood again and see if there’s anything. Giving it that long you sort of get over the fact of feeling how big and difficult it is at the beginning. And if you really give yourself long enough to start feeling differently and sort of see the benefits then it will be great.
** [[Michelle Pfeiffer]], [http://urbanette.com/michelle-pfeiffer-interview/ &quot;Michelle Pfeiffer’s Big Secret: Michelle opens up to us about the lifestyle choice she’ll never give up, and her secret for staying young&quot;, interview with ''Urbanette'' (February 2016)].

* I went vegan for health reasons. I had that cholesterol, my choice was to either take medication that I didn’t want to take or change the way I eat. And I love a good challenge, so I walked out of the doctor’s office vegan. This is three years ago. I felt different pretty much immediately. I always had trouble with lingering throat inflammation, and I got rid of that immediately, and my skin cleared up. I slept better. ... Try it out and see how you feel. If you feel better after a week, try another week.
** [[Franka Potente]], &quot;[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fth5hkjyns 'Bourne' Series Actor Franka Potente's Vegan Choice Changed Everything&quot;, video interview with PETA (9 August 2017)].

== R ==

* When you think about a better tomorrow, you think about veganism in the world. I don’t need a dead animal or dead piece of flesh to go into my live body. There’s nothing on this planet that doesn’t want to live. I had animals as friends, they were happy to see me in their own animal way. I’m quite sure they did not want to be on my plate. I think hip-hop has become more conscious about diet... You are what you eat, so if this cow who is stressed, dumbfounded, sick becomes your meal, when you eat it, you are eating that stress and sickness. You are eating that fear. My peers and people that are related to me appreciate the vegan lifestyle, it’s really spreading.
** [[RZA]], from [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-T8l9a89efk&amp;t=1s a PETA video (24 November 2014)]. Quoted in [http://www.nme.com/news/music/wu-tang-clan-14-1218001#WJmPuEwsm7yhA4ac.99 &quot;Wu-Tang Clan’s RZA says he refuses to put ‘dead animals’ in his ‘live body’ in PETA advert&quot;, in ''NME.com'' (24 November 2014)].

== S ==
[[File:Bryan Adams Hamburg MG 0631 flickr.jpg|thumb|My motto has always been “If you love animals, don’t eat them”. ... the moment I began to understand what was going on with the treatment of animals, it led me more and more in the way of the path I am [on] now, which is a complete vegan. ~ [[Bryan Adams]]]]

* I credit my plant-based diet with giving me the energy and stamina to help carry my teams to four NBA championship wins. ... Veganism has become a transformative part of my life and I have made it my mission to share the power of plant-based eating with the world. ... Vegan eating is not just a slam dunk for human health; it’s also the most effective way to combat climate change, according to a 2010 report by the United Nations. ... going vegan is one of the best things a person can do for their health, for animals, and for the environment.
** [[John Salley]], letter to [[Michelle Obama]], in [https://www.peta.org/blog/nba-champ-challenges-flotus-to-take-petas-vegan-pledge/ &quot;NBA Champ Challenges FLOTUS to Take PETA’s Vegan Pledge&quot;, in ''Peta.org'' (29 December 2015)].

* The meat industry doesn’t want you to think about all the animals they are torturing and killing. And they definitely don’t want you to think about all the diseases related to eating meat. Their only concern is making a profit. A long time ago I made a decision to quit eating meat and dairy products. Animals are not ours to torture and dominate. If I was to eat factory farm meat or dairy products I would be taking part in the torturing and killing of animals. There’s just no way! Animals are my friends, so why would I want to hurt them?
** [[Daniela Sea]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xc5mEqa6ar0 &quot;Daniela Sea Vegan PSA&quot;, ad for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (3 February 2009)].

* Veganism is not a fad, it's a healthy, lifestyle choice. … Yes I have a lot of plans to promote veganism in India. … I plan to rope in international chefs to whip up some delicious dishes. Once people see how nutritious and delicious vegan food can be, they’ll switch to a healthier dairy-free lifestyle.
** [[Mallika Sherawat]], quoted in [https://www.bollywoodhungama.com/news/bollywood/mallika-sherawat-promote-veganism-india/ &quot;Mallika Sherawat to promote veganism in India&quot;, in ''Bollywood Hungama'' (11 April 2018)].

* When I became vegan I stopped training for myself and started training with a purpose greater than my own. Veganism for me is about mindfulness. I do this to liberate animals. ... Before I went vegan I had tendonitis, and I would get joint aches and ligament strains, and my knees would be sore. All that went away as soon as I switched to a wholefood plant-based diet. It’s anti-inflammatory, and your digestive system gets a break. ... I didn’t understand what it meant to be an athlete. I was big, muscularly, but I was swollen; it wasn’t ‘healthy big’. Now I’m leaner, sharper, quicker, and my mind’s sharper too.
** [[Tim Shieff]], [https://www.vegansociety.com/whats-new/blog/interview-vegan-parkour-wonder-tim-shieff &quot;An interview with vegan parkour wonder Tim Shieff&quot;, interview with The Vegan Society (11 March 2016)].

* When I went vegetarian at age eleven, it was a remarkably easy transition. A boy at my school was attempting to kill creatures in the pond. When I tried to stop him, he said, “You eat animals,” like that meant I had no right to try and save something that could end up on my plate later. The hypocrisy of my actions became crystal clear in that moment. I decided, no more meat. ... When I first started working for two organizations supporting anti-factory farming, vegan outreach and humane education, my choice to go vegan became that much clearer. I realized veganism is the only diet that can change the world. ... You can expect a healthier body, and the feeling of pride that goes hand-in-hand with living according to your values. That’s something that many people aspire to, but few people achieve.
** [[Alicia Silverstone]], [http://thekindlife.com/blog/2013/04/how-to-transition-from-vegetarian-to-vegan/ &quot;How to Transition from Vegetarianism to Veganism&quot;, in ''The Kind Life'' (9 April 2013)].
[[File:Casey Affleck at the Manchester by the Sea premiere.jpg|thumb|When people ask me why I don’t eat meat or any other animal products, I say because they are unhealthy and they are the product of a violent and inhumane industry. ~ [[Casey Affleck]]]]

* [As a vegan] I feel better, I look better, so it’s a big change for me. You have more clarity and I think that all of us want to be more clear. I wanted to look younger and feel better and wanted to be a greater contributor to the good on the planet ... The more I learned about factory farming... the more I realized that I could not, in good conscience, be a contributor to such violence.
** [[Russell Simmons]], in 2008 to CNN. Quoted in [http://sojones.com/news/105789-russell-simmons-becomes-a-stamp/ &quot;Russell Simmons Becomes a Stamp&quot;, in ''SoJones.com'' (1 December 2011)].

* [As a vegan] I feel sexy. I feel confident. I’m healthier than ever. And my body is better than ever. ... What upsets me the most is the way animals are treated. There’s no difference between a cat and a dog and a pig and a cow. They’re all individuals that have their own fears and desires and personalities.
** [[Sofía Sisniega]], [https://www.petalatino.com/en/features/sofia-sisniega-gets-naked-animals/ &quot;Sofía Sisniega Gets Naked for Animals&quot;, interview with PETA Latino (August 2017)].

* In the final analysis, despite our diversity, there is only one type of vegan — a person who is committed to and practices reverence and respect for all life.
** [[Joanne Stepaniak]], ''Being Vegan: Living with Conscience, Conviction, and Compassion'' (Los Angeles: Lowell House, 2000), p. 5.

* Implementing a compassionate perspective that embraces all life is at the heart of being vegan.
** [[Joanne Stepaniak]], ''Being Vegan: Living with Conscience, Conviction, and Compassion'' (Los Angeles: Lowell House, 2000), p. 52.

* As far as a compassionate lifestyle and [it being] healthy for me, for the planet and all the life on it, vegan is really the best way to go. It helps me a lot. I really believe that I'm doing something good for me and for everyone else every time I eat, you know.
** [[Steve-O]], [https://www.suicidegirls.com/girls/nicole_powers/blog/2680298/johnny-knoxville-and-steve-o-jackass-3d/ &quot;Johnny Knoxville and Steve-O: Jackass 3D&quot;], interview with {{w|SuicideGirls}} (14 October 2010).

* I'm in better condition [after going vegan]. My endurance has gone up, and I haven't gotten tired at all during the whole season. ... I don't think you should eat something that had a mother.
** [[Salim Stoudamire]], interview for ''The Atlanta Journal-Constitution'' (5 April 2007), quoted in [http://www.espn.com/blog/truehoop/post/_/id/3218/salim-stoudamire-runs-on-broccoli &quot;Salim Stoudamire Runs on Broccoli&quot;, in ''ESPN.com'' (6 April 2007)].

* Hate mushrooms? Prepare to fall in love with them. Tofu always freaked you out? You ain’t cooking it right then. One of the best things about being vegan is how much you come to appreciate food – when someone does a vegan chocolate cupcake, it's the best thing in the world, or truly nails a pizza so good you can hardly tell the difference – it's just about opening up your palette and trying new things. Once you get into it, you won't go back.
** [[Oliver Sykes]], [http://fryfamilyfood.com/de/wheniwentvegan/ &quot;Why I went vegan&quot;], interview with Fry Family Foods (18 January 2017).

== T ==
* When you take the animal out, you also take the [[w:Greenhouse effect|greenhouse gas issue]] out. And you take the food safety issues out. And you take some of other externalities related to food scarcity out. But one thing that’s amazing is I think you put our values back in. You put values like compassion, and integrity, and kindness. Values that are natural to human beings, you put that in. You build that back into the story of our food.
** [[Josh Tetrick]], interview in the documentary-film ''[[Cowspiracy]]'' by Kip Andersen and Keegan Kuhn (2014)&lt;!-- 1:25:22 --&gt;.

* There are no emergency meetings, no headlines, no breaking news. No one is acting as if we were in a crisis. Even most climate scientists or green politicians keep on flying around the world, eating meat and dairy.
** [[Greta Thunberg]], [https://www.fridaysforfuture.org/greta-speeches#greta_speech_tedx &quot;School strike for climate - save the world by changing the rules&quot;], TEDxStockholm (24 November 2018).
[[File:Sharon namaste Guzman 280.jpg|thumb|To be a joyful vegan in the world today is to become involved in the most radical, positive, political revolution ever. ~ [[Sharon Gannon]]]]

* The contemporary vegan movement is founded on loving-kindness and mindfulness of our effects on others. It is revolutionary because it transcends and renounces the violent core of the herding culture in which we live.
** [[Will Tuttle]], ''The World Peace Diet'' (Lantern Books, 2005), ch. 2.

* The good news is that our bodies thrive on a conscious plant-based diet, and that this diet is infinitely more compassionate to animals and people and more environmentally sustainable than eating animal foods.
** [[Will Tuttle]], ''The World Peace Diet'' (Lantern Books, 2005), ch. 5.

== V ==

* Veganism denotes a philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude—as far as is possible and practical—all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing, or any other purpose; and by extension, promotes the development and use of animal-free alternatives for the benefit of humans, animals, and the environment.
** [[The Vegan Society]], ''Articles of Association'' (by [[Donald Watson]]), as quoted in Will Tuttle, ''The World Peace Diet'' (2005), ch. 2.

== W ==
* V Stands for Verity, Virtue, Valor, Validity and Veganism. ... Veganism is real [[w:Conservation (ethic)|conservation]] in action. It goes beyond talking about climate change and diminishment of biodiversity and actually does something to address the problems.
** [[Paul Watson]], [https://seashepherd.org/2014/05/06/v/ &quot;V&quot;], ''SeaShepherd.org'' (6 May 2014)

* Around the time I was first getting into hardcore/metal/punk and going to shows, I had a lot of friends who were vegan and vegetarian and after having a few conversations with them regarding the subject I realised I'd never really thought about things the way they did. I was never pressured into anything and I found myself doing my own research on the subject matter and after finding some cold hard facts about the meat and dairy industry which disturbed me deeply, I made the decision to go veg and then a year later vegan and I've now been vegan for eleven years with no problems whatsoever.
** [[Jona Weinhofen]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20100504124239/http://www.thrashitoutonline.com/2009/09/jona-weinhofen-talks-about-bmth-his.html &quot;Jona Weinhofen talks about BMTH &amp; his decision to become a vegan&quot;, interview with ''Thrash It Out'' (25 September 2009)].

* I have a dog who looks a lot like a pig and I would look at him and think: “You know? I can not eat pig anymore.” And besides, is my dog really all that different from a pig on a factory farm? They both have their own lives and big personalities and most importantly the same capacity to feel pain. Once I made the connection, animal suffering became something I could not ignore. So if you have ever loved a cat or a dog, or even a human, I hope you will extend your compassion to include all animals.
** [[Mike White (filmmaker)|Mike White]], &quot;[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pF8PJJFgg4E Mike White's 'Veggie Testimonial'&quot;, ad for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (30 July 2009)].

* If you look at the incidence of hypertension and diabetes and mortality in men, they actually get reduced when you get higher and higher in how much you restrict animal products.
** [[Kim A. Williams]], interview in the documentary ''[[What the Health]]'' by Kip Andersen (2017).

* I started [following a vegan diet] for health reasons. I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, and I wanted to maintain my performance on the court. Once I started I fell in love with the concept of fueling your body in the best way possible. Not only does it help me on the court, but I feel like I’m doing the right thing for me. ... I literally couldn’t play tennis anymore, so it really changed my life. Because it was starting to take away what I loved, I had to make some changes, I had to change my life. Thankfully, I was able to find something that helped me get back to doing what I loved. ... It changed the pace that I live at. It changed everything.
** [[Venus Williams]], [http://www.health.com/nutrition/venus-williams-raw-vegan-diet &quot;This Drastic Diet Change Helped Venus Williams Fight Her Autoimmune Condition&quot;, interview with ''Health'' (12 January 2017)].

* I've been a vegan for two years, so that's helped my already good-looking self. I think that eating healthy is important. ... I'm motivating people to do something about how we are living on this planet.
** [[Stevie Wonder]], [https://www.aol.com/article/2016/02/26/stevie-wonder-talks-being-vegan-and-living-a-green-lifestyle/21319400/ &quot;Stevie Wonder talks being vegan and living a green lifestyle&quot;, interview with AOL (26 February 2016)].

* So far from vegetarianism springing from the anthropomorphism of predominantly urban dwellers, as has been suggested by its more superficial critics, it and its inevitable successor veganism are increasingly being recognised as a logical, even inescapable, process, essentially relevant, essentially practical, essentially compassionate to all species.
** [[Jon Wynne-Tyson]], &quot;Dietethics: Its Influence on Future Farming Patterns&quot;, in ''Animal Rights: A Symposium'', edited by David Paterson &amp; [[Richard D. Ryder]] (London: Centaur Press, 1979), p. 141.
[[File:Mýa 2009.jpg|thumb|The more information about ... the harsh realities of treatment of animals as well as the process of manufacturing food ... prompted me to continue this journey, which I'm very proud of, but it's impossible to turn back, because I no longer see product—I see process. ~ [[Mýa]]]]

== Y ==

* It was my sophomore year at Yale, going through the food line for dinner, and I wanted a chicken breast, but the way they put it on my plate – all of a sudden it reminded me of my mom’s dog – and at that moment I was instantly on the outside of the food chain.  I just couldn’t be a part of it.  It was very personal to me in an instant, all because of a big breast of chicken that was oddly plated and slightly pink and I couldn’t do it.  At first all I could think to eat was peanut butter and bread, so I put on a bunch of weight, but over the years it’s gotten a lot easier because people are much hipper to the fact that a plant based lifestyle is healthier for us. So it’s gotten so easy and so delicious to be vegan.
** [[Bellamy Young]], [http://www.thepetpress-la.com/bellamy-young.html &quot;The First Lady of ''Scandal'' Talks Animals, Veganism and Random Acts of Kindness&quot;, interview with ''The Pet Press'' (November 2013)].

* That little, small voice in your mind and in your heart that makes you curious about being vegan is something you should listen to, because that’s the sound of your conscience making you be compassionate.
** [[Bellamy Young]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLjdSQqq52o &quot;Longtime Vegan Bellamy Young: Variety Is Infinite&quot;, video interview with PETA (10 February 2016)].

== Z ==

* There's no vegan who is the greatest &lt;br&gt; Because all you vegans are great, &lt;br&gt; Just like the peace dove &lt;br&gt; You symbolise love, &lt;br&gt; And there is no death on your plate.
** [[Benjamin Zephaniah]], &quot;Peace Eats&quot;, in ''The Little Book Of Vegan Poems'', AK Press, 2001.

* Someone said that Capitalism will eat itself, and I think that’s like the meat industry, the meat industry itself will become dead meat and compassion will reign supreme.
** [[Benjamin Zephaniah]], [https://benjaminzephaniah.com/poetic-thoughts/?doing_wp_cron=1519050664.5827260017395019531250 &quot;Zephaniah Speaks: Poetic Thoughts&quot;, interview with ''Arkangel Magazine'' (2002) reported in ''BenjaminZephaniah.com''].

==See also==
* [[Ahimsa]]
* [[Animal rights]]
* [[Animal rights movement]]
* [[Health]]
* [[Intensive animal farming]]
** [[Intensive pig farming]]
** [[Gestation crate]]
* [[Meat]]
* [[Speciesism]]
* [[Vegetarianism]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wiktionary|veganism}}
{{Commons category}}
[[W:List of vegan media|List of vegan media]]
*[https://www.vegansociety.com/go-vegan/definition-veganism Definition of Veganism - The Vegan Society] 
*[https://www.animal-ethics.org/veganism/ Veganism - Animal Ethics]

[[Category:Vegetarianism| ]]
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    <title>V for Vendetta (film)</title>
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      <text bytes="63165" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title|''V for Vendetta'' (film)}}
[[File:V for Vendetta film.jpg|thumb| ''Vi veri veniversum vivus vici'' — By the [[power]] of [[truth]], I while living have [[conquered]] the [[universe]].]] 

[[File:Anonymous.jpg|thumb|right|This visage, no mere veneer of [[vanity]], is a vestige of the [[w:vox populi|vox populi]], now vacant, vanished.]]
'''''[[w:V for Vendetta (film)|V for Vendetta]]''''' is a [[w:2006 in film|2006 film drama]] set in a [[w:Dystopia|dystopian]] future United Kingdom, where [[w:V (comics)|V]], a mysterious radical [[anarchism|anarchist]] wearing a [[Guy Fawkes]] costume, works to bring down an oppressive [[fascist]] government, profoundly affecting the people he encounters. It was released in theatres March 17, 2006.
:''Directed by [[w:James McTeigue|James McTeigue]]. Written by [[w:Lilly Wachowski|Lilly (then Andy) Wachowski]] and [[w:Lana Wachowski|Lana (then Larry) Wachowski]], and adapted from the graphic novel ''[[V for Vendetta]]'' by [[Alan Moore]] and [[w:David Lloyd|David Lloyd]]. 
{{center|'''Remember, remember the 5th of November.''' &lt;small&gt;([[#taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

==V==
[[File:Principal cast of V for Vendetta.jpg|thumb|While the truncheon may be used in lieu of [[conversation]], [[words]] will always retain their [[power]]. Words offer the means to [[meaning]], and for those who will [[listen]], the enunciation of [[truth]].]]

* V: ''Voilà!'' In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the ''vox populi'', now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! (carves the letter V in sign with his sword) The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. (Laughs wheezily) Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.
** V's Introduction To Evey

* V: Good evening, London. Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of everyday routine, the security of the familiar, the tranquillity of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, whereby those important events of the past, usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle, are celebrated with a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the fifth, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat. There are, of course, those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well, certainly, there are those who are more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable. But again, truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. They were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic, you turned to the now high chancellor, Adam Sutler. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent. Last night, I sought to end that silence. Last night, I destroyed the Old Bailey to remind this country of what it has forgotten. More than four hundred years ago, a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words; they are perspectives. So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you, then I would suggest that you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me, one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot.
** V's Speech To England

*V: Our story begins, as these stories often do, with a young, up-and-coming politician. He's a deeply religious man and a member of the Conservative Party. He's completely single-minded and has no regard for the political process. The more power he attains, the more obvious his zealotry and the more aggressive his supporters become. Eventually, his party launches a special project in the name of ''&quot;national security&quot;''. At first, it's believed to be a search for biological weapons and is pursued without regard to its cost. However, the true goal of this project is power, complete and total hegemonic domination. The project, however, ends violently; but the efforts of those involved are not in vain, for a new ability to wage war is born from the blood of one of the victims. Imagine a virus, the most terrifying virus you can, and then imagine that you, and you alone, have the cure. But if your ultimate goal is power, how best to use such a weapon? It's at this point in our story that along comes a spider. He is a man seemingly without a conscience, for whom the ends always justify the means, and it is he who suggests that their target should not be an enemy of the country but rather the country itself. Three targets are chosen to maximise the effect of the attack: a school, a tube station, and a water treatment plant. Several hundred die within the first few weeks. Fueled by the media, fear and panic spread quickly, fracturing and dividing the country until, at last, the true goal comes into view. Before the St Mary's crisis, no-one would have predicted the results of the election that year. ''No-one''. And then, not long after the election, lo and behold, a miracle. Some believe it was the work of God himself, but it was a pharmaceutical company controlled by certain party members that made them all obscenely rich. A year later, several extremists are tried, found guilty, and executed, while a memorial is built to canonise their victims. But the end result, the true genius of the plan, was the ''fear''. Fear became the ultimate tool of this government, and through it, our politician was ultimately appointed to the newly-created position of high chancellor. The rest, as they say, is history.
** V's story to Inspector Finch, disguised as William Rookwood

* ''Vi veri veniversum vivus vici''
** By the power of truth, I while living have conquered the universe.

==Evey Hammond==
[[File:Quiosc V de Vendetta.jpg|thumb|right|[[Artists]] use [[lies]] to tell the [[truth]], while [[politicians]] use them to cover the truth up.]]

* &quot;[[Remember]], remember &lt;br /&gt;  The fifth of November &lt;br /&gt; The gunpowder treason and plot. &lt;br /&gt; I know of no reason &lt;br /&gt; Why the gunpowder treason &lt;br /&gt; Should ever be forgot.&quot; &lt;br /&gt; But what of the man? I know his name was [[Guy Fawkes]], and I know that, in 1605, he attempted to blow up the houses of Parliament. But who was he really? What was he like? We are told to remember the idea, not the man, because a man can fail. He can be caught. He can be killed and forgotten. But four hundred years later an idea can still change the world. I've witnessed first-hand the power of ideas. I've seen people kill in the name of them, and die defending them. But you cannot kiss an idea, cannot touch it, or hold it. Ideas do not bleed. They do not feel pain. They do not love. And it is not an idea that I miss, it is a man. A man that made me remember the fifth of November. A man that I will never forget.
* Are you like a ''[[crazy]] person''?
** ''After V has just saved her from the Fingermen and finished his verbose introduction''
* God is in the rain.
* A fake ID works a lot better than a Guy Fawkes mask.
* I worried about myself for a while. But one day I was at a market and a friend, someone I'd worked with at the BTN, got in line behind me. I was so nervous that when the cashier asked me for my money I dropped it. My friend picked it up and handed it to me. She looked me right in the eye and didn't recognise me. I guess whatever you did to me worked better than I'd ever have imagined.
* No-one will ever forget that night, and what it meant to this country. But I will never forget the man, and what he meant to me.
* I remember them arguing at night. Mum wanted to leave the country. Dad refused. He said if we ran away, they would win. Win, like it was a game.
* Artists use lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to cover the truth up.
* I wish I believed that was possible. But every time I've seen this world change, it's always been for the worse.

==Valerie Page==
[[File:Rose-on-music-book-on-piano.jpg|thumb|right|I [[hope]] that the [[world]] turns and things get better. But I hope most of all that you [[understand]], that even though I will never meet you, [[laugh]] with you, [[cry]] with you, or [[kiss]] you, I [[love]] you. With [[all]] my [[heart]], I love you.]]

* I know there's no way I can convince you this is not one of their tricks, but I don't care; I am me. My name is Valerie. I don't think I'll live much longer, and I wanted to tell someone about my life. This is the only autobiography I'll ever write, and God - I'm writing it on toilet paper. I was born in Nottingham in 1985. I don't remember much of those early years, but I do remember the rain. My grandmother owned a farm in Tuttlebrook, and she used to tell me that God was in the rain. I passed my 11th lesson into girl's grammar. It was at school that I met my first girlfriend. Her name was Sara. It was her wrists. They were beautiful. I thought we would love each other forever. I remember our teacher telling us that it was an adolescent phase people outgrew. Sara did. I didn't. In 2002, I fell in love with a girl named Christina. That year I came out to my parents. I couldn't have done it without Chris holding my hand. My father wouldn't look at me; he told me to go and never come back. My mother said nothing. But I had only told them the truth. Was that so selfish? Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us, but within that inch, we are free.
* I'd always known what I wanted to do with my life, and in 2015 I starred in my first film, ''The Salt Flats''. It was the most important role in my life, not because of my career, but because that was how I met Ruth. The first time we kissed, I knew I never wanted to kiss any other lips but hers again. We moved to a small flat in London together. She grew scarlet carsons for me in our window box, and our place always smelled of roses. Those were the best years of my life. But America's war grew worse and worse … and eventually came to London. After that, there were no roses anymore. Not for anyone.
* I remember how the meaning of words began to change. How unfamiliar words like &quot;collateral&quot; and &quot;rendition&quot; became frightening, while things like Norsefire and the Articles of Allegiance became powerful. I remember how different became dangerous. I still don't understand it, why they hate us so much. They took Ruth while she was out buying food. I've never cried so hard in my life. It wasn't long till they came for me. It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years, I had roses and apologised to no-one. I shall die here. Every inch of me will perish. Every inch but one. An inch … it is small, and it is fragile, but it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us. I hope that, whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. Valerie.

==Delia Surridge==

:''[Notes from her covert journal, whom Finch reads]''

*May 23. My first batch of subjects arrived today, and I have to admit that I am very excited. This could be the dawn of a new age. Nuclear power is meaningless in a world where a virus can kill an entire population and leave its wealth intact...
*May 27. Commander Prothero toured the lab with a priest, Father Lilliman, who I was told is here to monitor for rules and rights violations. It made me nervous, but the commander assured me there wouldn't be a problem.
*June 2. I kept wondering if these people knew how they might be helping their country if they would act any differently. They're so weak and pathetic. They never look you in the eye. I find myself hating them.
*August the 18th. Of the original four dozen, over 75 per cent are now deceased. No controllable pattern has yet emerged.
*September the 18th. There is one case that continues to give me hope. He exhibits none of the immune system pathologies the other subjects developed. I've discovered cellular anomalies in his blood that I've been unable to categorise. The mutations seem to have triggered the abnormal development of basic kinaesthesia and reflexes. The subject said he could no longer remember who he was or where he was from. Whoever he was, he is now the key to our dream and the hope that all of this will not have been in vain.
*November the 5th. It started last night, around midnight. The first explosions tore open the entire medical section. All my work, gone. I was trying to understand how it could've happened when I saw him. The man from room five. He looked at me. Not with eyes. There were no eyes. But I know he was looking at me because I felt it.
*Oh my God...''what have I done?''

==Lewis Prothero==

* So I read that the former United States is so desperate for medical supplies that they have allegedly sent several containers filled with wheat and tobacco. A gesture, they said, of goodwill. You want to know what I think? Well, you're listening to my show, so I will assume you do. I think it's high time we let the colonies know what we really think of them. I think it's payback time for a little tea party they threw for us a few hundred years ago. I say we go down to those docks tonight and dump that crap where everything from the Ulcered Sphincter of Arse-erica belongs. Who's with me? Who's ''bloody'' with me? Did you like that? USA; Ulcered Sphincter of Arse-erica. I mean, what else can you say? Here was a country that had everything, absolutely ''everything'', and now, 20 years later, is ''what''? The world's biggest leper colony. Why? Godlessness. Let me say that again: ''Godlessness''. It wasn't the war they started. It wasn't the plague ''they'' created. It was ''judgement''. No-one escapes their past. No-one escapes judgement. You think He's not up there? You think He's not watching over this country? How else can you explain it? He tested us, but we came through. We did what we had to do. Islington, Enfield. I was there. I saw it all. Immigrants, Muslims, homosexuals, terrorists, ''disease-ridden degenerates. They had to go!'' '''Strength through unity, unity through faith!''' I'm a God-fearing Englishman and I am god-''damn'' proud of it!
** First BTN Speech

*I'll tell you what I know, I'll tell you what I know, I'll tell you what I know, '''''England prevails!'''''
** The only part of his second BTN speech ever seen or heard.

*I'll tell you what I know. I know '''this is not a man. A man does not wear a mask. A man does not threaten innocent civilians.''' He's what ''every'' gutless, freedom-hating terrorist is: '''a god-damn coward!'''
** First part of his third BTN speech

*There will be no negotiation, Roger. When I arrive in the morning, the Paddy will be gone. I'm looking at the tape right now, and he has no idea how to light me. My nose looks like Big fucking Ben! Listen to me, you bleeding sod. England prevails because ''I'' say it does! And so does every lazy cunt on this show, and that includes ''you''! Find another DOP, or find yourself another job!
** Phone call to Roger Dascombe

*I'll tell you what I wish: '''I wish I'd been there.''' I wish I'd had the chance for a face-to-face. ''Just one chance,'' that's all I need.
** Second part of his third BTN speech, before V breaks into his home

*This so-called &quot;V&quot; and his accomplice, Evey Hammond, neo-demagogues, spouting their message of hate. A delusional and aberrant voice, ''delivering a terrorist's ultimatum''. An ultimatum that was met with swift and surgically precise ''justice''. And the moral of this story, ladies and gentlemen, is: '''''&quot;GOOD GUYS WIN, BAD GUYS LOSE, AND AS ALWAYS, ENGLAND PREVAILS!&quot;'''''
** Third and final part of his third BTN speech

==High Chancellor Adam Sutler==

* My fellow Englishmen: tonight, our country, that which we stand for, and all we hold dear, faces a grave and terrible threat. This violent and unparalleled assault on our security will not go undefended. Or unpunished. Our enemy is an insidious one, seeking to divide us and destroy the very foundation of our great nation. Tonight, we must remain steadfast. We must remain determined. But most of all, we must remain united. Those caught tonight in violation of curfew will be considered in league with our enemy and prosecuted as a terrorist without leniency or exception. Tonight, I give you my most solemn vow: that justice will be ''swift'', it will be ''righteous'', and ''it will be without mercy''!

==Dialogue==
[[File:Dark Rosaleen Anarchy 1.svg|thumb|right|There are no coincidences, Delia. Only the [[illusion]] of [[coincidence]].]]
[[File:Norsefire.svg|thumb|right|Those caught tonight in violation of curfew will be considered in league with our [[enemy]] and prosecuted as a [[terrorist]] without leniency or exception.]]
[[File:Coalition of the Willing, To Power.svg|thumb|right|I suddenly had this feeling that everything was connected. It was like I could see the [[whole]] thing; one long chain of events that stretched back to before Larkhill. I felt like I could see everything that had happened, and everything that was going to happen…]]
[[File:Domino effect.jpg|thumb|right|With so much chaos, someone will do something [[stupid]]. And when they do, things will turn nasty. And then, Sutler will be forced do the only thing he knows how to do. At which point, all V needs to do is keep his word. And then...]]
[[File:Tom 500 nightfiring.jpg|thumb|right|What you have are bullets and the hopes that when your [[guns]] are empty, I'm no longer standing. Because if I am, you'll all be [[dead]] before you've reloaded.]]

:'''V''': I can assure you, I mean you no harm.
:'''Evey''': Who are you?
:'''V''': Who? Who is but the form, following the function of what, and what I am is a man in a mask.
:'''Evey''': Well, I can see that.
:'''V''': Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation, I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.
:'''Evey''': Oh, right.
:'''V''': But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona.
:''V: Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valourous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! (carves V in sign with sword) The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. (Laughs wheezily) Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V.
:'''Evey''': Are you like a crazy person?
:'''V''': I am quite sure they will say so. But to whom may I ask am I speaking?
:'''Evey''': I'm Evey.
:'''V''': Evey? E-V — of course you are.
:'''Evey''': What do you mean by that?
:'''V''': It means I, like [[God]], do not [[play]] with [[dice]], and do not [[believe]] in [[coincidence]]. Are you hurt?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Sutler''': Gentlemen, you have had four hours, you had better have results. Mr Creedy?
:'''Peter Creedy''': The Bailey area is quarantined, and all significant witnesses have been detained.
:'''Sutler''': Good. Mr Etheridge?
:'''Brian Etheridge''': A recording device was found wired into the central emergency broadcast system. The DCD was [[w:Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky|Tchaikovsky]]'s ''[[w:1812 Overture|1812 Overture]]''.
:'''Sutler''': Add it to the blacklist. I never want to hear that music again.
:'''Etheridge''': Yes, sir. We also doubled our random sweeps and are monitoring a lot of phone surveillance, indicating a high percentage of conversation concerned with the explosion.
:'''Sutler''': Mr Dascombe, what are we doing about that?
:'''Roger Dascombe''': We're calling it an &quot;emergency demolition&quot;. We have spin coverage on the network and throughout the InterLink, and several experts have been lined up to testify against the Bailey's structural integrity.
:'''Sutler''': I want Prothero to speak tonight on the dangers of these old buildings and how we must avoid clinging to the edifice of a decadent past. He should conclude that the New Bailey will become the symbol of our time and the future that our conviction has rewarded us. Mr Heyer?
:'''Conrad Heyer''': Our surveillance cameras captured several images of the terrorist, though the mask obviously makes retinal identification impossible. We also managed to get a photo of the girl that Creedy's men were detaining.
:'''Sutler''': Who is she, Mr Finch?
:'''Eric Finch''': Not sure, yet, sir, but we're working on several leads.
:'''Sutler''': Anything else?
:'''Finch''': We located the fireworks launch and found traces of the explosives used at both sites. Unfortunately, it appears that despite the heavy level of sophistication, these devices were homemade with over-the-counter chemicals, making them very difficult to trace. Whoever he is, Chancellor, he is very good.
:'''Sutler''': Spare us your professional annotations, Mr Finch. They are irrelevant.
:'''Finch''': Apologies, Chancellor.
:'''Sutler''': Gentlemen, this is a test. Moments such as these are matters of faith. To fail is to invite doubt into everything we believe, everything that we have fought for. Doubt will plunge this country back into chaos and I ''will not let that happen''. Gentlemen, I want this terrorist found, and I want him to understand what ''terror'' really means. England prevails!
:'''Party leaders''': England prevails.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[just as the Old Bailey demolition report is broadcast]''
:'''Patricia''': You think people will buy this?
:'''Dascombe''': Well, why not? This is the BTN. Our job is to report the news, not fabricate it. That's the government's job.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Dominic Stone is driving Finch to Jordan Tower to find Evey, while he looks her up.]''
:'''Finch''': This looks serious. Her parents were political activists. They were detained when she was 12.
:'''Dominic''': What happened to her?
:'''Finch''': Juvenile reclamation project. For five years. We're going to need back-up, but keep it minimal.
:'''Dominic''': You sure about that, sir?
:'''Finch''': I just want a chance to talk to her before she disappears into one of Creedy's black bags.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Evey''': What is this place?
:'''V''': It's my home. I call it the Shadow Gallery.
:'''Evey''': It's beautiful...where did you get all this stuff?
:'''V''': Oh, here and there. Most of it from the vaults of the Ministry of Objectionable Materials.
:'''Evey''': You stole them?
:'''V''': Oh, heavens, no. Stealing implies ownership. You can't steal from the censor; I merely reclaimed them. 
:'''Evey''': God, if they ever find this place...
:'''V''': I suspect if they do find this place, a few bits of art will be the least of my worries.
:'''Evey''': You mean, after what you've done? God, what have I done? I Maced that detective. Why did I do that?
:'''V''': You did what you thought was right.
:'''Evey''': No. I shouldn't have done that. I must have been out of my mind.
:'''V''': Is that what you really think, or what they would want you to think?
:'''Evey''': I think I should go.
:'''V''': May I ask where?
:'''Evey''': Home. I have to go home.
:'''V''': You said they were looking for you. If they know where you work, they certainly know where you live.
:'''Evey''': I have friends. I could stay with them.
:'''V''': I'm afraid that won't work either. Now, you have to understand, Evey. I don't want this for either of us, but I couldn't see any other way. You were unconscious, and I had to make a decision. If I had left you there, right now, you'd be in one of Creedy's interrogation cells. They'd imprison you, torture you, and, in all probability, kill you in the pursuit of finding me. After what you did, I couldn't let that happen, so I picked you up and carried you to the only place I knew you'd be safe: here, to my home.
:'''Evey''': I won't tell anyone, I swear. You know you can trust me.
:'''V''': I'm sorry, but I can't take that risk.
:'''Evey''': But I don't even know where this is. We could be anywhere.
:'''V''': You know it's underground. You know the colour of the stone. That'd be enough for a clever man.
:'''Evey''': What are you saying? That I have to stay here?
:'''V''': Only until I'm done. After the 5th, I no longer think it'll matter.
:'''Evey''': You mean, a year from now? I have to stay ''here'' for a year?
:'''V''': Sorry, Evey. I didn't know what else to do.
:'''Evey''': You should have left me alone! '''WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A shot of an Egg in the Basket over a frying pan zooms out to V's scarred hands holding the pan. Evey wakes up to Stan Getz, Tom Jobim, João Gilberto, and Astrud Gilberto's &quot;[[w:The Girl from Ipanema|The Girl from Ipanema]]&quot;]''
:'''Evey''': V?
:'''V''': Ah. ''Bonjour, mademoiselle.''
:'''Evey''': I just wanted to apologise for my reaction last night. ''[V just nods]'' I understand what you did for me, and I wanted you to know I am grateful. ''[turns attention to V's scarred hands]'' Your hands!
:'''V''': ''[notices his hands, which were un-gloved]'' Yes. ''[puts gloves back on]'' There. That's better. I hope I didn't put you off your appetite.
:'''Evey''': No, please. It's just — are you all right?
:'''V''': Oh, yes, yes. Yes, I'm fine.
:'''Evey''': Can I ask what happened?
:'''V''': ''[hesitates for a moment]'' There was a fire. A long time ago. Ancient history for some. Not really very good table conversation. Now, would you care for a cup of tea with your egg?
:'''Evey''': Yes, thank you. I'm starving, actually.
:'''V''': Have a seat.
:''[Evey approaches the table, sits down, and eats the dish.]
:'''Evey''': Mmm. It's delicious!
:'''V''': Mmm. Good.
:'''Evey''': God, I haven't had real butter since I was a little girl. Where did you get it?
:'''V''': A government supply train on its way to Chancellor Sutler.
:'''Evey''': ''[chokes]'' You stole this from Chancellor Sutler!?
:'''V''': ''[nonchalantly]'' Yes.
:'''Evey''': You're insane!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Evey''': Can I ask about what you said on the telly?
:'''V''': Yes.
:'''Evey''': Did you mean it?
:'''V''': Every word.
:'''Evey''': You really think that blowing up parliament is going to make this country a better place?
:'''V''': There's no certainty, only opportunity.
:'''Evey''': I think you can be pretty certain that if anyone does show up, Creedy will black-bag everyone of them.
:'''V''': People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.
:'''Evey''': And you are going to make that happen by blowing up a building?
:'''V''': The building is a symbol, as is the act of destroying it. Symbols are given power by the people. Alone, a symbol is meaningless, but with enough people, blowing up a building can change the world.
:'''Evey''': I wish I believed that was possible, but every time I've seen the world change it's always been for the worse.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''V''': Good evening, Commander Prothero.
:'''Prothero''': How did you get in here?
:'''V''': Don't worry; I've made sure our reunion won't be disturbed by any pesky late-night phone calls, Commander.
:'''Prothero''': Stop that! Why do you keep calling me that?
:'''V''': That was your title, remember? When we first met, all those years ago. You wore a uniform in those days.
:'''Prothero''': ''[After some flashbacks of his time at Larkhill, including the fire, he figures out V as the man from Room 5]'' ''You''. It ''is'' you!
:'''V''': The ghost of Christmas past.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Evey''': V, yesterday I couldn't find my ID. You didn't take it, did you?
:'''V''': Would you prefer a lie or the truth?
:'''Evey''': ''[stands, gesturing toward the TV, which has just finished an announcement of Lewis Prothero's death]'' Did you have anything to do with that?
:'''V''': Yes, I killed him. 
:'''Evey''': You? Oh, God!
:'''V''': You're upset.
:'''Evey''': I'm upset? You just said you killed Lewis Prothero!
:'''V''': I might have killed the Fingermen who attacked you, but I heard no objection then. 
:'''Evey''': What?
:'''V''': Violence can be used for good.
:'''Evey''': What are you talking about?
:'''V''': Justice. 
:'''Evey''': Oh... I see.
:'''V''': There's no courtroom in this country for men like Prothero.
:'''Evey''': And are you going to kill more people?
:'''V''':  ''[nonchalantly]'' Yes.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Evey''': My father was a writer. You would've liked him. He used to say that artists use lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to cover the truth up. 
:'''V''': A man after my own heart.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Evey''': ''[reading inscription on mirror]'' ''[[w:Vi veri universum vivus vici|Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici]]''...
:'''V''': &quot;By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe&quot;.
:'''Evey''': Personal motto?
:'''V''': From ''[[Faust]]''.
:'''Evey''': That's about trying to cheat the devil, isn't it?
:'''V''': It is.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Delia''': ''[wakes in an apparently empty room]'' It's you, isn't it? You've come to kill me.
:'''V''': ''[from the shadows]'' Yes.
:'''Delia''': ''[lets out a sob]'' Thank God...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Delia''': After what happened, after what they did, I thought about killing myself. But I knew that one day you'd come for me. I didn't know what they were going to do. I swear to you. Read my journal.
:'''V''': What they did was only possible because of you.
:'''Delia''': [[w:Robert Oppenheimer|Oppenheimer]] was able to change more than the course of a war. He changed the entire course of human history. Is it wrong to hold on to that kind of hope?
:'''V''': I've not come for what you hoped to do. I've come for what you did.
:'''Delia''': It's funny. I was given one of your roses today. I wasn't sure you were the terrorist until I saw it. What a strange coincidence that I should be given one today.
:'''V''': There are no coincidences, Delia. Only the illusion of coincidence. I have another rose ''[takes one out]'', and this one is for you. ''[hands it to her]''
:'''Delia''': Are you going to kill me now?
:'''V''': I killed you ten minutes ago. ''[holds up a small hypodermic needle]'' While you slept.
:'''Delia''': ''[frightened]'' Is there any pain?
:'''V''': No.
:'''Delia''': Thank you. ''[pauses briefly]'' Is it meaningless to apologise?
:'''V''': Never.
:'''Delia''': ''[quietly]'' I'm ''so sorry''.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Finch''': The terrorist obviously wanted us to have it. He wanted us to know the whole story or at least a part of it.
:'''Sutler''': Am I to understand that you have read this document, inspector?
:'''Finch''': Yes, sir.
:'''Sutler''': Has anyone else read it, besides you?
:'''Finch''': No, sir.
:'''Sutler''': Then let me make this perfectly clear to you. The contents of this document are a matter of national security, constituting an assault on the character of several important party members as well as a blatant violation of the Articles of Allegiance. As the authenticity of this document cannot be verified, it could be an elaborate forgery created by the terrorist, as easily as it could be the deranged fantasy of a former party member who resigned for psychological reasons. Any discussion of this document or its contents will be regarded, at the very least, as an act of sedition, if not a willful act of treason. Is that understood, Mr Finch?
:'''Finch''': Yes, sir.
:'''Sutler''': You would do well, inspector, to put it out of your mind.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A shot of an Egg in the Basket over a frying pan zooms out to Gordon's hands holding the pan, reminiscent of V preparing the same dish. Evey wakes up to Stan Getz, Tom Jobim, João Gilberto, and Astrud Gilberto's &quot;[[w:Corcovado (song)|Corcovado]]&quot;. She had previously sought refuge at Gordon Deitrich's home after escaping from V]''
:'''Gordon''': ''Bonjour, mademoiselle.''
:'''Evey''': ''[puzzled]'' What is that you're making?
:'''Gordon''': We call it &quot;Eggie in the Basket&quot;. My mum used to make them.
:'''Evey''': This is weird.
:'''Gordon''': What?
:'''Evey''': The first morning I was with him, he made me eggs just like this.
:'''Gordon''': Really? 
:'''Evey''': I swear! 
:'''Gordon''': That is a strange coincidence. Although there's an obvious explanation.
:'''Evey''': There is?
:'''Gordon''': Yes, Evey. ''I'' am V. At last, you know the truth. ''[Evey looks incredulously at Gordon]'' You're stunned, I know. It's hard to believe, isn't it? That beneath this wrinkled, well-fed exterior, there lies a dangerous killing machine with a fetish for Fawkesian masks. ''¡Viva la revolución!''
:'''Evey''': That is not funny, Gordon.
:'''Gordon''': ''[sighs]'' Yes, I know. I'm useless without a studio audience. 
:'''Evey''': I've seen people go to jail for less than that.
:'''Gordon''': Of course. He was right, wasn't he? There ''is'' something wrong with this country.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Finch''': I want to ask a question, Dominic. I don't care if you answer me or not. I just want to say this aloud... The question I want to ask is about St Mary's and Three Waters. The question that's kept me up for the last 24 hours, the question I have to ask, is: What if the worst, the most horrifying, biological attack in this country's history was not the work of religious extremists?
:'''Dominic''': Well, I don't understand. We know it was. They were caught. They confessed.
:'''Finch''': And they were executed, I know. And maybe that's really what happened. But I see this chain of events, these coincidences... and I have to ask: What if that isn't what happened? What if someone else unleashed that virus? What if someone else killed all those people? Would you really want to know who it was?
:'''Dominic''': Sure.
:'''Finch''': Even if it was someone working for this government? That's my question. If our own government was responsible for what happened at St Mary's and Three Waters... if our own government was responsible for the deaths of almost a hundred thousand people... ''would you really want to know?''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Gordon pops a champagne bottle]''
:'''Evey''': What is this all about?
:'''Gordon''': I'm celebrating.
:'''Evey''': Celebrating what?
:'''Gordon''': I think this could be the best show we've ever done.
:'''Gordon''': ''[on the television]'' Very good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Listen. We've got an extraordinary show for you tonight. You're not going to believe it. As a matter of fact, I don't think I do. Would you please give a warm welcome to our own Chancellor Adam Sutler!
:''[&quot;God Save the Queen&quot; plays on the background as an impersonator of Adam Sutler enters]''
:'''Mother''': No way!
:'''Girl with Spectacles''': It can't be!
:'''Gordon''': We threw out the censor-approved script, and shot a new one I wrote this morning.
:'''Evey''': Oh, my god.
:''[Cuts to the audience applaud on being threatened by the fake Sutler's soldiers. Evey chokes on her champagne]''
:'''Gordon''': Chancellor, Chancellor, Chancellor. I understand you've been under tremendous strain lately since the beginning of this whole terrorism business, and we thought it would be a nice idea to try and help you relax. Girls?
:''[Deitrich's girls arrive with a humidor, from where the fake Sutler takes a cigar. Another girl offers him a glass of milk]''
:'''Fake Sutler''': Ah! Warm milk. There's nothing better.
:'''Gordon''': I understand you enjoy a glass every night, Chancellor.
:'''Fake Sutler''': Since I was a boy. ''[The real Sutler is shown sitting in his bunker while watching, holding a glass of milk]'' But you're wrong, Mr Deitrich. The terrorist was never a serious concern.
:'''Gordon''': (in background) Oh, really?
:''[A prankster dressed as V ties the fake Sutler's shoelaces together, whilst replacing his cigar with an exploding one]''
:'''Girl with Spectacles''': It's him!
:'''Gordon''': Chancellor, Chancellor, are you saying that he's not still alive and active?
:'''Fake Sutler''': The terrorist has been neutralised.
:''[The cigar explodes as the fake Sutler huffs from it.]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh, my God, Chancellor, look! The terrorist!
:'''Fake Sutler''': The terrorist! ''[The camera pans to the fake V among the musicians, scraping a washboard]'' Get him! ''[Sutler walks toward the fake V, but having been shoe-laced, stumbles.]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh, dear!
:''[As Boots Randolph's &quot;[[w:Yakety Sax|Yakety Sax]]&quot; plays, the show plays a sped-up chase of V, the girls, and the soldiers, while the fake Sutler still struggles to get off from being shoe-laced. An actor in a gorilla suit appears randomly and bangs his chest with his fists. Gordon then throws a banana peel, and the fake V slips on it, and is tackled by the fake Sutler's soldiers]'' 
:'''Fake Sutler:''' At last! And now, for all the world to see!
:''[The fake Sutler approaches the fake V, now restrained by the soldiers. He unmasks the fake V, who was revealed to be another Sutler impersonator]''
:'''Girl with Spectacles''': ''[As her mother gasps and shakes her head]'' It's ''him''!
:'''Fake V/Sutler''': Unhand me! ''I'' am your chancellor!
:''[A group of old men, who are watching the show, laugh out loud]''
:'''Fake Sutler''': How dare you! ''I'' am the chancellor!
:''[Gordon makes a funny act of confusion, pointing to one fake Sutler after the other]''
:'''Fake V/Sutler''': Imposter! ''[the two fake Sutlers tackle each other in a farcical fight. Gordon makes a funny act of sympathy before they get back up.]'' Soldiers! That man is the terrorist!
:'''Fake Sutler''': I order you to shoot that traitor!
:'''Fake V/Sutler''': Liar!
:'''Fake Sutler''': Faker!
:'''Fake V/Sutler''': Fraud!
:'''Fake Sutler''': Ready...
:'''Fake V/Sutler''': Aim...
:'''Fake Sutlers''': ''[together, as Gordon blocks his ears with his fingers in a funny act of fright]'' FIRE!
:''[The soldiers shoot both fake Sutlers. The curtain closes, the entire public is left laughing and as Gordon bows down to the clapping audience, another fake V sneaks in from the cyclorama, snickering as he holds a cigar. The real Sutler shatters the glass of milk in his hand as he watches]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Gordon is on the phone to his agent, after his satire of Norsefire is broadcast]''
:'''Gordon''': What are they going to do, fine us? Big deal. We've got the most-watched show on air! Well, you're my agent, that's what I pay you for. Protect me! ''[hangs up]'' I should have hired him years ago to be my mother.
:'''Evey''': You're mad!
:'''Gordon''': Either that or I wasn't breast-fed.
:'''Evey''': Is ''everything'' a joke to you, Gordon?
:'''Gordon''': Only the things that matter.
:'''Evey''': What if they come after you?
:'''Gordon''': I'll tell you what's going to happen. I'll have to make some kind of apology and do some boring fund-raiser, but in the meantime, our ratings will go ''through the roof.'' It'll be fine! Trust me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Interrogator''': Do you know why you're here, Evey Hammond?
:'''Evey''': No. Please...
:'''Interrogator''': You've been formally charged with three counts of murder, the bombing of government property, conspiracy to commit terrorism, treason, and sedition — the penalty for which is death by firing squad. You have one chance, and only one chance, to save your life. You must tell us the identity or whereabouts of code name V. If your information leads to his capture, you will be released from this facility immediately. Do you understand what I'm telling you? You can return to your life, Ms Hammond. All you have to do is co-operate. Process her.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Interrogator''': I am instructed to inform you that you have been convicted by special tribunal and that unless you are ready to offer your co-operation, you are to be executed. Do you understand what I'm telling you?
:'''Evey''': Yes.
:'''Interrogator''': Are you ready to co-operate?
:'''Evey''': No.
:'''Interrogator''': Very well. Escort Ms Hammond back to her cell. Arrange a detail of six men and take her out behind the chemical sheds and shoot her.
:''[Later, as Evey sits alone in her cell, holding Valerie Page's letter tightly, the door swings open.]''
:'''Guard''': It's time.
:'''Evey''': I'm ready.
:'''Guard''': ''[hesitates]'' Look, all they want is one little piece of information. Just give them something, ''anything''.
:'''Evey''': Thank you, but I'd rather die behind the chemical sheds.
:'''Guard''': Then you have no fear anymore. You're completely free.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Evey is allowed to leave her prison unexpectedly and finds she was actually in V's lair the whole time]''
:'''V''': ''[entering]'' Hello, Evey.
:'''Evey''': ..You...it was you...
:'''V''': ''[quietly]'' Yeah.
:'''Evey''': ''[gestures behind her]'' That wasn't real... Is Gordon — ?
:'''V''': I'm sorry, but Mr Deitrich's dead. I thought they'd arrest him, but when they found a Qur'an in his house, they had him executed. 
:'''Evey''': ''[whispers]'' Oh, God.
:'''V''': Fortunately, I got to you before they did. 
:'''Evey''': ''You'' got to me? You did this to me... You cut my hair... You tortured me... You tortured me! Why?
:'''V''': You said you wanted to live without fear. I wish there would have been an easier way, but there wasn't.
:'''Evey''': ''[whispers]'' Oh, my God!
:'''V''': I know you may never forgive me, but nor will you ever understand how hard it was for me to do what I did. Every day, I saw in myself everything you see in me now. Every day, I wanted to end it. But each time you refused to give in, I knew I couldn't.
:'''Evey''': ''[shouting angrily]'' You're sick! You're ''evil!''
:'''V''': You could have ended it, Evey. You could have given in, but you didn't. Why?
:'''Evey''': Leave me alone! '''I HATE YOU!'''
:'''V''': '''THAT'S IT!''' See, at first, I thought it was hate, too. Hate was all I knew. It built my world, imprisoned me, taught me how to eat, how to drink, how to ''breathe''! I thought I'd ''die'' with all the hate in my veins. But then something happened. It happened to me, just as it happened to you.
:'''Evey''': '''SHUT UP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR LIES!'''
:'''V''': Your own father said that artists use lies to tell the truth. Yes, I created a lie, but because you believed it, you found something true about yourself.
:'''Evey''': No...
:'''V''': What was true in that cell is just as true now. What you felt in there has nothing to do with me.
:'''Evey''': I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING ANYMORE!
:'''V''': Don't run from it, Evey. You've been running all your life.
:'''Evey''': ''[gasping heavily]'' I can't... can't breathe... Asthma... When I was little... ''[collapses while V catches her]''
:'''V''': Listen to me, Evey. This may be the most important moment of your life. Commit to it. They took your parents from you. They took your brother from you. They put you in a cell and took everything they could take except your life. And you believed that was all there was, didn't you? The only thing you had left was your life, but it wasn't, was it?
:'''Evey''': ''[sobbing]'' Oh... please...
:'''V''': You found something else. In that cell, you found something that mattered more to you than life. Because when they threatened to kill you unless you gave them what they wanted... you told them you'd rather die. You faced your death, Evey. You were calm. You were still. Try to feel now what you felt then.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''V''': What was done to me was monstrous!
:'''Evey''': Then they created a monster.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Heyer''': Chancellor, I know no-one seems to want to discuss this, but if we're to be prepared for any eventuality, then it can't be ignored any longer. The red report in front of you has been vetted by several demolition specialists. Now, it concludes that the most logical delivery system for the terrorist to use would be an airborne attack. A separate report has been filed suggesting a train, despite the fact that all the tunnels surrounding Parliament have been sealed shut.
:'''Sutler''': Who filed that report?
:'''Heyer''': Chief Inspector Finch.
:'''Sutler''': Do you have any evidence to support this conclusion, Mr Finch?
:'''Finch''': No, sir, just a feeling.
:'''Sutler''': If I am sure of anything, Inspector Finch, it is that this government will not survive if it is to be subject to your feelings. Mr Dascombe, what we need right now is a clear message to the people of this country. This message must be heard on every radio, read in every newspaper, seen on every television. '''This message must resound throughout the entire InterLink!''' I want this country to realise that we stand on the edge of oblivion. I want every man, woman, and child to understand how close we are to chaos. '''I WANT EVERYONE TO REMEMBER WHY THEY NEED US!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[As V, disguised as William Rookwood, is found by Finch]''
:'''V''': ''[puts out a hand]'' That's close enough, inspector. ''[activates a debugger]''
:'''Finch''': We're not wired.
:'''V''': I'm sorry, but a man in my position survives by taking every precaution.
:'''Finch''': You've information for us?
:'''V''': No, you already have the information. All the names and dates are inside your head. What you want, what you really need, is a story.
:'''Finch''': A story can be true or false.
:'''V''': I leave such judgments to you, inspector.
:''[Later on]''
:'''Finch''': Can you prove any of this?
:'''V''': Why do you think I'm still alive?
:'''Finch''': Right. We'd like to take you into protective custody, Mr Rookwood.
:'''V''': Oh, I'm sure you would. But if you want that recording, you'll do what I tell you to do. Put Creedy under 24-hour surveillance. When I feel safe that he can't pick his nose without you knowing, I'll contact you again. Until then, cheerio.
:'''Finch''': Rookwood. Why didn't you come forward before? What were you waiting for?
:'''V''': Well, for you, inspector. I needed you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[two guards watch Creedy via CCTV, when the lights go out, V captures him and starts [[w:Ludwig van Beethoven|Ludwig van Beethoven]]'s'' [[w:Symphony No.5 (Beethoven)|Symphony No.5]] ''playing]''
:'''Guard #1''': What's he doing in the dark there?
:'''Guard #2''': Creepy Creedy. Not sure I want to know.
:'''V''': Sutler can no longer trust you, can he, Mr Creedy? And we both know why. After I destroy Parliament, his only chance will be to offer them someone else, some other piece of meat. And who will that be? You, Mr Creedy. A man as smart as you has probably considered this. A man as smart as you probably has a plan. That plan is the reason Sutler no longer trusts you. It's the reason you're being watched right now, why there are eyes and ears in every room of this house and a tap on every phone.
:'''Creedy''': Bollocks.
:'''V''': Oh, a man as smart as you, I think, knows otherwise.
:'''Creedy''': What do you want?
:'''V''': Sutler. Come now, Mr Creedy, you knew this was coming. You knew that one day, it'd be you or him. That's why Sutler's been kept underground for &quot;security purposes&quot;. That's why there are several of your men close to Sutler. Men that can be counted on. All you have to do is say the word.
:'''Creedy''': What do I get out of this deal?
:'''V''': Me. ''[lifts a chalk up to Creedy]'' If you accept, put an X on your front door.
:'''Creedy''': ''[lifts his hand to take the chalk]'' Why should I trust you?
:'''V''': Because it's the only way you're going to stop me.
:''[Creedy takes the chalk]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Dominic''': We've got Creedy pinned like a butterfly for weeks. Still no word; what's he waiting for?
:''[the phone rings, and Dominic answers it]
:'''Dominic''': Yeah? Inspector, it's for you.
:'''Finch''': ''[takes the phone]'' Yeah?
:'''Captain Clark''': Is that Chief Inspector Finch?
:'''Finch''': It is.
:'''Captain Clark''': This is Captain Clark of the 137th ward at Southend. We found him.
:'''Finch''': Found who?
:'''Captain Clark''': William Rookwood, the one you've been looking for. I saw your report a couple of weeks ago, thought I'd run it through our John Does. Sure enough, I hooked him; perfect dental match. He was a floater, a couple of fishermen picked him up. No ID, never solved. Until now, that is.
:'''Finch''': William Rookwood is dead?
:'''Captain Clark''': I'd say so. 20 years now.
:''[we then see a shot of Rookwood's face, revealed to be a mask used by V]''
:'''Finch''': GOD DAMMIT!! That son of a bitch sat there and spoon-fed me that bullshit, and I ate it up!!
:'''Dominic''': So what do we do now, Inspector?
:'''Finch''': We do what we should've been doing. We find him!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Sutler''': Every day, gentlemen. Every day that brings us closer to November. Every day that man remains free is one more failure! 347 days, gentlemen! 347 failures!
:'''Creedy''': Chancellor, we do not have the adequate force to...
:'''Sutler''': We are being ''buried'' beneath the '''avalanche''' of your inadequacies, Mr Creedy!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sutler''': I want anyone caught with one of those masks arrested!
:'''Convenience Store V''': Give me the money! Give me the fucking money!
:'''Dominic''': We're under siege here. The whole city's gone mad.
:'''Finch''': That's exactly what he wants. 
:'''Dominic''': What?
:'''Convenience Store V''': Anarchy in the UK! ''[fires shots into the air, then escapes with the money]''
:'''Finch''': Chaos.
:'''Sutler''': Mr Creedy, I am holding you personally responsible for this situation.
:''[we soon go to a new scene, where Creedy is revealed to have accepted his earlier deal with V.]''
:'''Finch''': The problem is that he knows us better than we know ourselves. That's why I went to Larkhill last night.
:'''Dominic''': That's outside quarantine.
:'''Finch''': I had to see it. There wasn't much left. But when I was there it was strange – I suddenly had this feeling that everything was connected. It was like I could see the whole thing; one long chain of events that stretched back to before Larkhill. I felt like I could see everything that had happened, and everything that was going to happen. It was like a perfect pattern, laid out in front of me, and I realised that we were all part of it, and all trapped by it.
:'''Dominic''': So do you know what's going to happen?
:'''Finch''': No. It was a feeling. But I can guess. With so much chaos, someone will do something stupid. And when they do, things will turn nasty.
:''[A young girl wearing one of V's Guy Fawkes mask is shown being shot and killed by a secret police officer. Angry people surround and attack him, undeterred by his badge or gun.]''
:'''Finch''': And then, Sutler will be forced do the only thing he knows how to do. At which point, all V needs to do is keep his word. And then...
:''[V causes his completed dominoes to fall. During this, a martial-law like world is shown, with people attacking police and military vehicles.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sutler''': Tonight, I will speak directly to these people and make the situation perfectly clear to them. The security of this nation depends on complete and total compliance. Tonight, '''any protester, any instigator or agitator, will be MADE EXAMPLE OF!'''
:'''Dascombe''': Chancellor, there is a contingency that has not been addressed.
:'''Sutler''': And what is ''that'', Mr Dascombe?
:'''Dascombe''': Should the terrorist succeed...?
:'''Sutler''': He won't.
:'''Dascombe''': I understand that it is highly unlikely, but if he does...?
:'''Sutler''': '''If he does,''' and something happens to that building, the only thing that will change, the only difference that it will make, is that tomorrow morning, instead of a newspaper, '''I WILL BE READING MR CREEDY'S RESIGNATION!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dominic''': I went by Parliament. Never seen anything like it — tanks, anti-aircraft, infantry — it makes you wish that no-one would show up tonight. But if they do, what do you think will happen?
:'''Finch''': What usually happens when people ''without'' guns stand up to people ''with'' guns. Pull over here.
:'''Dominic''': We've been searching these tunnels for weeks. You really think we're going to find him now? ''[they pull up outside Charing Cross station. Finch gets out of the car.]'' Inspector? It's all gone wrong, hasn't it?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''V''': ''[confronting a helpless Sutler]'' At last, we finally meet. I have something for you, Chancellor. A farewell gift. For all the things you've done, for the things you might have done, and for the only thing you have left. ''[places a rose in Sutler's coat]'' Goodbye, Chancellor. Mr Creedy? 
:'''Creedy''': Disgusting. ''[executes Sutler with his revolver]'' Now that's done with. It's time to have a look at your face. Take off your mask.
:'''V''': No.
:''[Creedy nods and two Fingermen approach V; one tries to remove his mask, but V kills them both]''
:'''Creedy''': Defiant to the end, huh? You won't cry like him, will you? You're not afraid of death. You're like me.
:'''V''': The only thing that you and I have in common, Mr Creedy, is we're both about to die.
:'''Creedy''': ''[scoffs]'' How do you imagine that's going to happen?
:'''V''': With my hands around your neck.
:'''Creedy''': Bollocks. What are you going to do, huh? We've swept this place. You've got ''nothing''. Nothing but your bloody knives and your fancy karate gimmicks. We have ''guns''!
:'''V''': No, what you have are bullets and the hopes that when your guns are empty, I'm no longer standing. Because if I am, you'll all be dead before you've reloaded.
:'''Creedy''': That's impossible! [''Raises his revolver and thumbs back the hammer''] Kill him.
:''[Creedy and his men open fire on V. After their guns are empty, with many rounds fired, V stand half-bowed, but then straightens and inhales deeply]''
:'''V''': My turn.
:''[V swiftly kills all of Creedy's remaining men with his knives, while Creedy frantically reloads his revolver]''
:'''Creedy''': ''[Starts shooting the approaching V]'' Die! ''Die''! Why won't you die?! ''[His gun clicks empty]'' Why won't you die?
:'''V''': ''[Gasping]'' Beneath this mask, there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask, there is an ''idea'', Mr Creedy. And ideas are bulletproof!
:''[V grabs Creedy by the throat, lifts him up and pins him to the fence, and breaks his neck. Dropping the corpse, he removes an armored breastplate, now full of bullet holes, that he had been wearing under his clothes. He staggers away, bleeding heavily.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Evey and Finch stand watching Parliament erupt in explosions of fireworks while the'' 1812 Overture ''plays over the loudspeakers]''
:'''Finch''': Who was he?
:'''Evey''': He was [[w:Edmond Dantès|Edmond Dantès]]. And he was my father. And my mother... my brother... my friend. He was you, and me. He was all of us.

{{Misattributed begin}}

== Quoted from other sources ==
[[File:GuysSparkler.JPG|thumb|right|Remember, Remember&lt;br /&gt;The fifth of November,&lt;br /&gt;The gunpowder treason and plot.&lt;br /&gt;I know of no reason&lt;br /&gt;Why the gunpowder treason&lt;br /&gt;Should ever be forgot.]]
:&lt;small&gt;These statements, popularized in the film, are actually quotes from other sources. &lt;/small&gt;

* Remember, Remember ''or'' Please to remember&lt;br /&gt;The fifth of November,&lt;br /&gt;The gunpowder treason and plot.&lt;br /&gt;I know of no reason&lt;br /&gt;Why the gunpowder treason&lt;br /&gt;Should ever be forgot.
** Traditional English verse recited for [[Guy Fawkes]] Night

* The multiplying villainies of nature do swarm upon him...&lt;br /&gt;''[skipping four of the original lines]'' Disdaining fortune with his brandished steel, which smoked with bloody execution...
** [[William Shakespeare]], in ''[[Macbeth]]'' 1.2.17-18

* We are oft to blame in this. 'Tis too much proved that with devotion's visage and pious action we do sugar o'er the devil himself.'
** [[William Shakespeare]], in ''[[Hamlet]]'' 3.1.46-49

* I dare do all that may become a man; Who dares do more is none.
** [[William Shakespeare]], in ''[[Macbeth]]'' 1.7.47-48

* And thus I clothe my naked villainy&lt;br /&gt;With old odd ends, stol'n forth of holy writ;&lt;br /&gt;And seem a saint, when most I play the devil.
** [[William Shakespeare]], in  ''[[Richard III (play)|Richard III]]'' 1.3.336-38

* Conceal me what I am, and be my aid&lt;br /&gt;For such disguise as haply shall become&lt;br /&gt;The form of my intent.
** [[William Shakespeare]], in ''[[Twelfth Night]]'' 1.2.53-55
{{Misattributed end}}

== Quotes about ''V for Vendetta'' ==
[[File:VSymbol1.png|thumb|V has a [[totalitarian]] state to overthrow, and only a year to do it in, and we watch as he improvises a [[revolution]]. ~ [[Roger Ebert]] ]] 
[[File:Circle-A red.svg|thumb|right|One powerful theme centers on the notion that ideas live forever, their power undiminished even as those who espouse them die. ~ Claudia Puig]]
* '''There are ideas in this film.''' The most pointed is V's belief: &quot;People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.&quot; I am not sure V has it right; surely in the ideal state governments and their people should exist happily together. '''Fear in either direction must lead to violence. But V has a totalitarian state to overthrow, and only a year to do it in, and we watch as he improvises a revolution.'''
** [[Roger Ebert]], in [http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/v-for-vendetta-2006 ''Chicago Sun-Times'' (16 March 2006)]

* '''Brutal, audacious and very slippery, ''V for Vendetta'' is the ballsiest major studio release I've ever seen'''… ''Vendetta'' is as rousing, engaging and devious as only the best propaganda can be — '''a call to rebellion that dares to question our respect for authority and gives us a masked terrorist and his manipulated prodigy as our heroes.''' And unlike other political thrillers that seem content to simply wallow their dissatisfaction with the state of the world, ''Vendetta'' demands that we take personal responsibility for our actions and for the administrations that we allow to come into power... ''Vendetta'' is a thematic powderkeg... Straight up, this is as invigorating, challenging and moving a film as one can hope to expect, especially from a major studio (and the first). Don't miss the movie of the year.
**[http://web.archive.org/web/20080523185920/http://www.freezedriedmovies.com/review.php?id=338 Brian Buzz Juergens at freezedriedmovies.com]

* '''The dark and stylized ''V for Vendetta'' is visually exhilarating, provocative and disturbing.''' Set in a slightly futuristic world (London in 2020), ''Vendetta'' is an action thriller that also stimulates thought... '''Despite its disparate influences, ''Vendetta'' feels captivatingly original.''' The multilayered film can be appreciated strictly as an action thriller or for its deeper message about personal responsibility, political oppression and revolutionary change. '''One powerful theme centers on the notion that ideas live forever, their power undiminished even as those who espouse them die.'''
** [http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/reviews/2006-03-15-v-for-vendetta_x.htm Claudia Puig at ''USA Today'']

* It seemed to me the two more absolute extremes were anarchy and fascism. This was one of the things I objected to in the recent film, where it seems to be, from the script that I read, sort of recasting it as current American neo-conservatism vs. current American liberalism. There wasn't a mention of anarchy as far as I could see. The fascism had been completely defanged. I mean, I think that any references to racial purity had been excised, whereas actually, fascists are quite big on racial purity.
:* [[Alan Moore]] [http://web.archive.org/web/20060404210249/http://www.comicon.com/thebeat/2006/03/a_for_alan_pt_1_the_alan_moore.html]

==Taglines==
* An uncompromising vision of the future from the creators of the Matrix trilogy.
* People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.
* Remember, remember the 5th of November.
* FREEDOM! FOREVER!
* Strength through unity, unity through faith!
* England prevails.
* Ideas are bulletproof.

==Cast==
* [[Natalie Portman]] – Evey Hammond 
* [[Hugo Weaving]] – V
* [[w:Stephen Rea|Stephen Rea]] – Eric Finch
* [[Stephen Fry]] – Gordon Dietrich
* [[w:John Hurt|John Hurt]] – Chancellor Adam Sutler

== External links ==
{{wikipedia-inline}}&lt;br&gt;{{commonscat-inline|V for Vendetta}}
*{{imdb title|id=0434409|title=V for Vendetta}}
*{{rotten-tomatoes| id=v_for_vendetta |title=V for Vendetta}}

{{V for Vendetta}}

[[Category:2006 films]]
[[Category:Political drama films]]
[[Category:Dystopian films]]
[[Category:Post-apocalyptic films]]
[[Category:Films based on works by Alan Moore]]
[[Category:Journalist films]]
[[Category:Screenplays by The Wachowskis]]
[[Category:Films set in London]]
[[Category:Films about terrorism]]
[[Category:Conspiracy films]]
[[Category:Films about revenge]]
[[Category:Action thriller films]]</text>
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      <id>3158766</id>
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      <text bytes="63187" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title|''V for Vendetta'' (film)}}
[[File:V for Vendetta film.jpg|thumb| ''Vi veri veniversum vivus vici'' — By the [[power]] of [[truth]], I while living have [[conquered]] the [[universe]].]] 

[[File:Anonymous.jpg|thumb|right|This visage, no mere veneer of [[vanity]], is a vestige of the [[w:vox populi|vox populi]], now vacant, vanished.]]
'''''[[w:V for Vendetta (film)|V for Vendetta]]''''' is a [[w:2006 in film|2006 film drama]] set in a [[w:Dystopia|dystopian]] future United Kingdom, where [[w:V (comics)|V]], a mysterious radical [[anarchism|anarchist]] wearing a [[Guy Fawkes]] costume, works to bring down an oppressive [[fascist]] government, profoundly affecting the people he encounters. It was released in theatres March 17, 2006.
:''Directed by [[w:James McTeigue|James McTeigue]]. Written by [[w:Lilly Wachowski|Lilly (then Andy) Wachowski]] and [[w:Lana Wachowski|Lana (then Larry) Wachowski]], and adapted from the graphic novel ''[[V for Vendetta]]'' by [[Alan Moore]] and [[w:David Lloyd|David Lloyd]]. 
{{center|'''Remember, remember the 5th of November.''' &lt;small&gt;([[#taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

==V==
[[File:Principal cast of V for Vendetta.jpg|thumb|While the truncheon may be used in lieu of [[conversation]], [[words]] will always retain their [[power]]. Words offer the means to [[meaning]], and for those who will [[listen]], the enunciation of [[truth]].]]

* V: ''Voilà!'' In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the ''vox populi'', now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! (carves the letter V in sign with his sword) The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. (Laughs wheezily) Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.
** V's Introduction To Evey

* V: Good evening, London. Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of everyday routine, the security of the familiar, the tranquillity of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, whereby those important events of the past, usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle, are celebrated with a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the fifth, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat. There are, of course, those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well, certainly, there are those who are more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable. But again, truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. They were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic, you turned to the now high chancellor, Adam Sutler. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent. Last night, I sought to end that silence. Last night, I destroyed the Old Bailey to remind this country of what it has forgotten. More than four hundred years ago, a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words; they are perspectives. So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you, then I would suggest that you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me, one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot.
** V's Speech To England

*V: Our story begins, as these stories often do, with a young, up-and-coming politician. He's a deeply religious man and a member of the Conservative Party. He's completely single-minded and has no regard for the political process. The more power he attains, the more obvious his zealotry and the more aggressive his supporters become. Eventually, his party launches a special project in the name of ''&quot;national security&quot;''. At first, it's believed to be a search for biological weapons and is pursued without regard to its cost. However, the true goal of this project is power, complete and total hegemonic domination. The project, however, ends violently; but the efforts of those involved are not in vain, for a new ability to wage war is born from the blood of one of the victims. Imagine a virus, the most terrifying virus you can, and then imagine that you, and you alone, have the cure. But if your ultimate goal is power, how best to use such a weapon? It's at this point in our story that along comes a spider. He is a man seemingly without a conscience, for whom the ends always justify the means, and it is he who suggests that their target should not be an enemy of the country but rather the country itself. Three targets are chosen to maximise the effect of the attack: a school, a tube station, and a water treatment plant. Several hundred die within the first few weeks. Fueled by the media, fear and panic spread quickly, fracturing and dividing the country until, at last, the true goal comes into view. Before the St Mary's crisis, no-one would have predicted the results of the election that year. ''No-one''. And then, not long after the election, lo and behold, a miracle. Some believe it was the work of God himself, but it was a pharmaceutical company controlled by certain party members that made them all obscenely rich. A year later, several extremists are tried, found guilty, and executed, while a memorial is built to canonise their victims. But the end result, the true genius of the plan, was the ''fear''. Fear became the ultimate tool of this government, and through it, our politician was ultimately appointed to the newly-created position of high chancellor. The rest, as they say, is history.
** V's story to Inspector Finch, disguised as William Rookwood

* ''Vi veri veniversum vivus vici''
** By the power of truth, I while living have conquered the universe.

==Evey Hammond==
[[File:Quiosc V de Vendetta.jpg|thumb|right|[[Artists]] use [[lies]] to tell the [[truth]], while [[politicians]] use them to cover the truth up.]]

* &quot;[[Remember]], remember &lt;br /&gt;  The fifth of November &lt;br /&gt; The gunpowder treason and plot. &lt;br /&gt; I know of no reason &lt;br /&gt; Why the gunpowder treason &lt;br /&gt; Should ever be forgot.&quot; &lt;br /&gt; But what of the man? I know his name was [[Guy Fawkes]], and I know that, in 1605, he attempted to blow up the houses of Parliament. But who was he really? What was he like? We are told to remember the idea, not the man, because a man can fail. He can be caught. He can be killed and forgotten. But four hundred years later an idea can still change the world. I've witnessed first-hand the power of ideas. I've seen people kill in the name of them, and die defending them. But you cannot kiss an idea, cannot touch it, or hold it. Ideas do not bleed. They do not feel pain. They do not love. And it is not an idea that I miss, it is a man. A man that made me remember the fifth of November. A man that I will never forget.
* Are you like a ''[[crazy]] person''?
** ''After V has just saved her from the Fingermen and finished his verbose introduction''
* God is in the rain.
* A fake ID works a lot better than a Guy Fawkes mask.
* I worried about myself for a while. But one day I was at a market and a friend, someone I'd worked with at the BTN, got in line behind me. I was so nervous that when the cashier asked me for my money I dropped it. My friend picked it up and handed it to me. She looked me right in the eye and didn't recognise me. I guess whatever you did to me worked better than I'd ever have imagined.
* No-one will ever forget that night, and what it meant to this country. But I will never forget the man, and what he meant to me.
* I remember them arguing at night. Mum wanted to leave the country. Dad refused. He said if we ran away, they would win. Win, like it was a game.
* Artists use lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to cover the truth up.
* I wish I believed that was possible. But every time I've seen this world change, it's always been for the worse.

==Valerie Page==
[[File:Rose-on-music-book-on-piano.jpg|thumb|right|I [[hope]] that the [[world]] turns and things get better. But I hope most of all that you [[understand]], that even though I will never meet you, [[laugh]] with you, [[cry]] with you, or [[kiss]] you, I [[love]] you. With [[all]] my [[heart]], I love you.]]

* I know there's no way I can convince you this is not one of their tricks, but I don't care; I am me. My name is Valerie. I don't think I'll live much longer, and I wanted to tell someone about my life. This is the only autobiography I'll ever write, and God - I'm writing it on toilet paper. I was born in Nottingham in 1985. I don't remember much of those early years, but I do remember the rain. My grandmother owned a farm in Tuttlebrook, and she used to tell me that God was in the rain. I passed my 11th lesson into girl's grammar. It was at school that I met my first girlfriend. Her name was Sara. It was her wrists. They were beautiful. I thought we would love each other forever. I remember our teacher telling us that it was an adolescent phase people outgrew. Sara did. I didn't. In 2002, I fell in love with a girl named Christina. That year I came out to my parents. I couldn't have done it without Chris holding my hand. My father wouldn't look at me; he told me to go and never come back. My mother said nothing. But I had only told them the truth. Was that so selfish? Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us, but within that inch, we are free.
* I'd always known what I wanted to do with my life, and in 2015 I starred in my first film, ''The Salt Flats''. It was the most important role in my life, not because of my career, but because that was how I met Ruth. The first time we kissed, I knew I never wanted to kiss any other lips but hers again. We moved to a small flat in London together. She grew scarlet carsons for me in our window box, and our place always smelled of roses. Those were the best years of my life. But America's war grew worse and worse … and eventually came to London. After that, there were no roses anymore. Not for anyone.
* I remember how the meaning of words began to change. How unfamiliar words like &quot;collateral&quot; and &quot;rendition&quot; became frightening, while things like Norsefire and the Articles of Allegiance became powerful. I remember how different became dangerous. I still don't understand it, why they hate us so much. They took Ruth while she was out buying food. I've never cried so hard in my life. It wasn't long till they came for me. It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years, I had roses and apologised to no-one. I shall die here. Every inch of me will perish. Every inch but one. An inch … it is small, and it is fragile, but it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us. I hope that, whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. Valerie.

==Delia Surridge==

:''[Notes from her covert journal, whom Finch reads]''

*May 23. My first batch of subjects arrived today, and I have to admit that I am very excited. This could be the dawn of a new age. Nuclear power is meaningless in a world where a virus can kill an entire population and leave its wealth intact...
*May 27. Commander Prothero toured the lab with a priest, Father Lilliman, who I was told is here to monitor for rules and rights violations. It made me nervous, but the commander assured me there wouldn't be a problem.
*June 2. I kept wondering if these people knew how they might be helping their country if they would act any differently. They're so weak and pathetic. They never look you in the eye. I find myself hating them.
*August the 18th. Of the original four dozen, over 75 per cent are now deceased. No controllable pattern has yet emerged.
*September the 18th. There is one case that continues to give me hope. He exhibits none of the immune system pathologies the other subjects developed. I've discovered cellular anomalies in his blood that I've been unable to categorise. The mutations seem to have triggered the abnormal development of basic kinaesthesia and reflexes. The subject said he could no longer remember who he was or where he was from. Whoever he was, he is now the key to our dream and the hope that all of this will not have been in vain.
*November the 5th. It started last night, around midnight. The first explosions tore open the entire medical section. All my work, gone. I was trying to understand how it could've happened when I saw him. The man from room five. He looked at me. Not with eyes. There were no eyes. But I know he was looking at me because I felt it.
*Oh my God...''what have I done?''

==Lewis Prothero==

* So I read that the former United States is so desperate for medical supplies that they have allegedly sent several containers filled with wheat and tobacco. A gesture, they said, of goodwill. You want to know what I think? Well, you're listening to my show, so I will assume you do. I think it's high time we let the colonies know what we really think of them. I think it's payback time for a little tea party they threw for us a few hundred years ago. I say we go down to those docks tonight and dump that crap where everything from the Ulcered Sphincter of Arse-erica belongs. Who's with me? Who's ''bloody'' with me? Did you like that? USA; Ulcered Sphincter of Arse-erica. I mean, what else can you say? Here was a country that had everything, absolutely ''everything'', and now, 20 years later, is ''what''? The world's biggest leper colony. Why? Godlessness. Let me say that again: ''Godlessness''. It wasn't the war they started. It wasn't the plague ''they'' created. It was ''judgement''. No-one escapes their past. No-one escapes judgement. You think He's not up there? You think He's not watching over this country? How else can you explain it? He tested us, but we came through. We did what we had to do. Islington, Enfield. I was there. I saw it all. Immigrants, Muslims, homosexuals, terrorists, ''disease-ridden degenerates. They had to go!'' '''Strength through unity, unity through faith!''' I'm a God-fearing Englishman and I am god-''damn'' proud of it!
** First BTN Speech

*I'll tell you what I know, I'll tell you what I know, I'll tell you what I know, '''''England prevails!'''''
** The only part of his second BTN speech ever seen or heard.

*I'll tell you what I know. I know '''this is not a man. A man does not wear a mask. A man does not threaten innocent civilians.''' He's what ''every'' gutless, freedom-hating terrorist is: '''a god-damn coward!'''
** First part of his third BTN speech

*There will be no negotiation, Roger. When I arrive in the morning, the Paddy will be gone. I'm looking at the tape right now, and he has no idea how to light me. My nose looks like Big fucking Ben! Listen to me, you bleeding sod. England prevails because ''I'' say it does! And so does every lazy cunt on this show, and that includes ''you''! Find another DOP, or find yourself another job!
** Phone call to Roger Dascombe

*I'll tell you what I wish: '''I wish I'd been there.''' I wish I'd had the chance for a face-to-face. ''Just one chance,'' that's all I need.
** Second part of his third BTN speech, before V breaks into his home

*This so-called &quot;V&quot; and his accomplice, Evey Hammond, neo-demagogues, spouting their message of hate. A delusional and aberrant voice, ''delivering a terrorist's ultimatum''. An ultimatum that was met with swift and surgically precise ''justice''. And the moral of this story, ladies and gentlemen, is: '''''&quot;GOOD GUYS WIN, BAD GUYS LOSE, AND AS ALWAYS, ENGLAND PREVAILS!&quot;'''''
** Third and final part of his third BTN speech

==High Chancellor Adam Sutler==

* My fellow Englishmen: tonight, our country, that which we stand for, and all we hold dear, faces a grave and terrible threat. This violent and unparalleled assault on our security will not go undefended. Or unpunished. Our enemy is an insidious one, seeking to divide us and destroy the very foundation of our great nation. Tonight, we must remain steadfast. We must remain determined. But most of all, we must remain united. Those caught tonight in violation of curfew will be considered in league with our enemy and prosecuted as a terrorist without leniency or exception. Tonight, I give you my most solemn vow: that justice will be ''swift'', it will be ''righteous'', and ''it will be without mercy''!

==Dialogue==
[[File:Dark Rosaleen Anarchy 1.svg|thumb|right|There are no coincidences, Delia. Only the [[illusion]] of [[coincidence]].]]
[[File:Norsefire.svg|thumb|right|Those caught tonight in violation of curfew will be considered in league with our [[enemy]] and prosecuted as a [[terrorist]] without leniency or exception.]]
[[File:Coalition of the Willing, To Power.svg|thumb|right|I suddenly had this feeling that everything was connected. It was like I could see the [[whole]] thing; one long chain of events that stretched back to before Larkhill. I felt like I could see everything that had happened, and everything that was going to happen…]]
[[File:Domino effect.jpg|thumb|right|With so much chaos, someone will do something [[stupid]]. And when they do, things will turn nasty. And then, Sutler will be forced do the only thing he knows how to do. At which point, all V needs to do is keep his word. And then...]]
[[File:Tom 500 nightfiring.jpg|thumb|right|What you have are bullets and the hopes that when your [[guns]] are empty, I'm no longer standing. Because if I am, you'll all be [[dead]] before you've reloaded.]]

:'''V''': I can assure you, I mean you no harm.
:'''Evey''': Who are you?
:'''V''': Who? Who is but the form, following the function of what, and what I am is a man in a mask.
:'''Evey''': Well, I can see that.
:'''V''': Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation, I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.
:'''Evey''': Oh, right.
:'''V''': But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona.
:''V: Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valourous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! (carves V in sign with sword) The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. (Laughs wheezily) Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V.
:'''Evey''': Are you like a crazy person?
:'''V''': I am quite sure they will say so. But to whom may I ask am I speaking?
:'''Evey''': I'm Evey.
:'''V''': Evey? E-V — of course you are.
:'''Evey''': What do you mean by that?
:'''V''': It means I, like [[God]], do not [[play]] with [[dice]], and do not [[believe]] in [[coincidence]]. Are you hurt?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Sutler''': Gentlemen, you have had four hours, you had better have results. Mr Creedy?
:'''Peter Creedy''': The Bailey area is quarantined, and all significant witnesses have been detained.
:'''Sutler''': Good. Mr Etheridge?
:'''Brian Etheridge''': A recording device was found wired into the central emergency broadcast system. The DCD was [[w:Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky|Tchaikovsky]]'s ''[[w:1812 Overture|1812 Overture]]''.
:'''Sutler''': Add it to the blacklist. I never want to hear that music again.
:'''Etheridge''': Yes, sir. We also doubled our random sweeps and are monitoring a lot of phone surveillance, indicating a high percentage of conversation concerned with the explosion.
:'''Sutler''': Mr Dascombe, what are we doing about that?
:'''Roger Dascombe''': We're calling it an &quot;emergency demolition&quot;. We have spin coverage on the network and throughout the InterLink, and several experts have been lined up to testify against the Bailey's structural integrity.
:'''Sutler''': I want Prothero to speak tonight on the dangers of these old buildings and how we must avoid clinging to the edifice of a decadent past. He should conclude that the New Bailey will become the symbol of our time and the future that our conviction has rewarded us. Mr Heyer?
:'''Conrad Heyer''': Our surveillance cameras captured several images of the terrorist, though the mask obviously makes retinal identification impossible. We also managed to get a photo of the girl that Creedy's men were detaining.
:'''Sutler''': Who is she, Mr Finch?
:'''Eric Finch''': Not sure, yet, sir, but we're working on several leads.
:'''Sutler''': Anything else?
:'''Finch''': We located the fireworks launch and found traces of the explosives used at both sites. Unfortunately, it appears that despite the heavy level of sophistication, these devices were homemade with over-the-counter chemicals, making them very difficult to trace. Whoever he is, Chancellor, he is very good.
:'''Sutler''': Spare us your professional annotations, Mr Finch. They are irrelevant.
:'''Finch''': Apologies, Chancellor.
:'''Sutler''': Gentlemen, this is a test. Moments such as these are matters of faith. To fail is to invite doubt into everything we believe, everything that we have fought for. Doubt will plunge this country back into chaos and I ''will not let that happen''. Gentlemen, I want this terrorist found, and I want him to understand what ''terror'' really means. England prevails!
:'''Party leaders''': England prevails.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[just as the Old Bailey demolition report is broadcast]''
:'''Patricia''': You think people will buy this?
:'''Dascombe''': Well, why not? This is the BTN. Our job is to report the news, not fabricate it. That's the government's job.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Dominic Stone is driving Finch to Jordan Tower to find Evey, while he looks her up.]''
:'''Finch''': This looks serious. Her parents were political activists. They were detained when she was 12.
:'''Dominic''': What happened to her?
:'''Finch''': Juvenile reclamation project. For five years. We're going to need back-up, but keep it minimal.
:'''Dominic''': You sure about that, sir?
:'''Finch''': I just want a chance to talk to her before she disappears into one of Creedy's black bags.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Evey''': What is this place?
:'''V''': It's my home. I call it the Shadow Gallery.
:'''Evey''': It's beautiful...where did you get all this stuff?
:'''V''': Oh, here and there. Most of it from the vaults of the Ministry of Objectionable Materials.
:'''Evey''': You stole them?
:'''V''': Oh, heavens, no. Stealing implies ownership. You can't steal from the censor; I merely reclaimed them. 
:'''Evey''': God, if they ever find this place...
:'''V''': I suspect if they do find this place, a few bits of art will be the least of my worries.
:'''Evey''': You mean, after what you've done? God, what have I done? I Maced that detective. Why did I do that?
:'''V''': You did what you thought was right.
:'''Evey''': No. I shouldn't have done that. I must have been out of my mind.
:'''V''': Is that what you really think, or what they would want you to think?
:'''Evey''': I think I should go.
:'''V''': May I ask where?
:'''Evey''': Home. I have to go home.
:'''V''': You said they were looking for you. If they know where you work, they certainly know where you live.
:'''Evey''': I have friends. I could stay with them.
:'''V''': I'm afraid that won't work either. Now, you have to understand, Evey. I don't want this for either of us, but I couldn't see any other way. You were unconscious, and I had to make a decision. If I had left you there, right now, you'd be in one of Creedy's interrogation cells. They'd imprison you, torture you, and, in all probability, kill you in the pursuit of finding me. After what you did, I couldn't let that happen, so I picked you up and carried you to the only place I knew you'd be safe: here, to my home.
:'''Evey''': I won't tell anyone, I swear. You know you can trust me.
:'''V''': I'm sorry, but I can't take that risk.
:'''Evey''': But I don't even know where this is. We could be anywhere.
:'''V''': You know it's underground. You know the colour of the stone. That'd be enough for a clever man.
:'''Evey''': What are you saying? That I have to stay here?
:'''V''': Only until I'm done. After the 5th, I no longer think it'll matter.
:'''Evey''': You mean, a year from now? I have to stay ''here'' for a year?
:'''V''': Sorry, Evey. I didn't know what else to do.
:'''Evey''': You should have left me alone! '''WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A shot of an Egg in the Basket over a frying pan zooms out to V's scarred hands holding the pan. Evey wakes up to Stan Getz, Tom Jobim, João Gilberto, and Astrud Gilberto's &quot;[[w:The Girl from Ipanema|The Girl from Ipanema]]&quot;]''
:'''Evey''': V?
:'''V''': Ah. ''Bonjour, mademoiselle.''
:'''Evey''': I just wanted to apologise for my reaction last night. ''[V just nods]'' I understand what you did for me, and I wanted you to know I am grateful. ''[turns attention to V's scarred hands]'' Your hands!
:'''V''': ''[notices his hands, which were un-gloved]'' Yes. ''[puts gloves back on]'' There. That's better. I hope I didn't put you off your appetite.
:'''Evey''': No, please. It's just — are you all right?
:'''V''': Oh, yes, yes. Yes, I'm fine.
:'''Evey''': Can I ask what happened?
:'''V''': ''[hesitates for a moment]'' There was a fire. A long time ago. Ancient history for some. Not really very good table conversation. Now, would you care for a cup of tea with your egg?
:'''Evey''': Yes, thank you. I'm starving, actually.
:'''V''': Have a seat.
:''[Evey approaches the table, sits down, and eats the dish.]
:'''Evey''': Mmm. It's delicious!
:'''V''': Mmm. Good.
:'''Evey''': God, I haven't had real butter since I was a little girl. Where did you get it?
:'''V''': A government supply train on its way to Chancellor Sutler.
:'''Evey''': ''[chokes]'' You stole this from Chancellor Sutler!?
:'''V''': ''[nonchalantly]'' Yes.
:'''Evey''': You're insane!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Evey''': Can I ask about what you said on the telly?
:'''V''': Yes.
:'''Evey''': Did you mean it?
:'''V''': Every word.
:'''Evey''': You really think that blowing up parliament is going to make this country a better place?
:'''V''': There's no certainty, only opportunity.
:'''Evey''': I think you can be pretty certain that if anyone does show up, Creedy will black-bag everyone of them.
:'''V''': People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.
:'''Evey''': And you are going to make that happen by blowing up a building?
:'''V''': The building is a symbol, as is the act of destroying it. Symbols are given power by the people. Alone, a symbol is meaningless, but with enough people, blowing up a building can change the world.
:'''Evey''': I wish I believed that was possible, but every time I've seen the world change it's always been for the worse.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''V''': Good evening, Commander Prothero.
:'''Prothero''': How did you get in here?
:'''V''': Don't worry; I've made sure our reunion won't be disturbed by any pesky late-night phone calls, Commander.
:'''Prothero''': Stop that! Why do you keep calling me that?
:'''V''': That was your title, remember? When we first met, all those years ago. You wore a uniform in those days.
:'''Prothero''': ''[After some flashbacks of his time at Larkhill, including the fire, he figures out V as the man from Room 5]'' ''You''. It ''is'' you!
:'''V''': The ghost of Christmas past.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Evey''': V, yesterday I couldn't find my ID. You didn't take it, did you?
:'''V''': Would you prefer a lie or the truth?
:'''Evey''': ''[stands, gesturing toward the TV, which has just finished an announcement of Lewis Prothero's death]'' Did you have anything to do with that?
:'''V''': Yes, I killed him. 
:'''Evey''': You? Oh, God!
:'''V''': You're upset.
:'''Evey''': I'm upset? You just said you killed Lewis Prothero!
:'''V''': I might have killed the Fingermen who attacked you, but I heard no objection then. 
:'''Evey''': What?
:'''V''': Violence can be used for good.
:'''Evey''': What are you talking about?
:'''V''': Justice. 
:'''Evey''': Oh... I see.
:'''V''': There's no courtroom in this country for men like Prothero.
:'''Evey''': And are you going to kill more people?
:'''V''':  ''[nonchalantly]'' Yes.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Evey''': My father was a writer. You would've liked him. He used to say that artists use lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to cover the truth up. 
:'''V''': A man after my own heart.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Evey''': ''[reading inscription on mirror]'' ''[[w:Vi veri universum vivus vici|Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici]]''...
:'''V''': &quot;By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe&quot;.
:'''Evey''': Personal motto?
:'''V''': From ''[[Faust]]''.
:'''Evey''': That's about trying to cheat the devil, isn't it?
:'''V''': It is.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Delia''': ''[wakes in an apparently empty room]'' It's you, isn't it? You've come to kill me.
:'''V''': ''[from the shadows]'' Yes.
:'''Delia''': ''[lets out a sob]'' Thank God...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Delia''': After what happened, after what they did, I thought about killing myself. But I knew that one day you'd come for me. I didn't know what they were going to do. I swear to you. Read my journal.
:'''V''': What they did was only possible because of you.
:'''Delia''': [[w:Robert Oppenheimer|Oppenheimer]] was able to change more than the course of a war. He changed the entire course of human history. Is it wrong to hold on to that kind of hope?
:'''V''': I've not come for what you hoped to do. I've come for what you did.
:'''Delia''': It's funny. I was given one of your roses today. I wasn't sure you were the terrorist until I saw it. What a strange coincidence that I should be given one today.
:'''V''': There are no coincidences, Delia. Only the illusion of coincidence. I have another rose ''[takes one out]'', and this one is for you. ''[hands it to her]''
:'''Delia''': Are you going to kill me now?
:'''V''': I killed you ten minutes ago. ''[holds up a small hypodermic needle]'' While you slept.
:'''Delia''': ''[frightened]'' Is there any pain?
:'''V''': No.
:'''Delia''': Thank you. ''[pauses briefly]'' Is it meaningless to apologise?
:'''V''': Never.
:'''Delia''': ''[quietly]'' I'm ''so sorry''.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Finch''': The terrorist obviously wanted us to have it. He wanted us to know the whole story or at least a part of it.
:'''Sutler''': Am I to understand that you have read this document, inspector?
:'''Finch''': Yes, sir.
:'''Sutler''': Has anyone else read it, besides you?
:'''Finch''': No, sir.
:'''Sutler''': Then let me make this perfectly clear to you. The contents of this document are a matter of national security, constituting an assault on the character of several important party members as well as a blatant violation of the Articles of Allegiance. As the authenticity of this document cannot be verified, it could be an elaborate forgery created by the terrorist, as easily as it could be the deranged fantasy of a former party member who resigned for psychological reasons. Any discussion of this document or its contents will be regarded, at the very least, as an act of sedition, if not a willful act of treason. Is that understood, Mr Finch?
:'''Finch''': Yes, sir.
:'''Sutler''': You would do well, inspector, to put it out of your mind.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A shot of an Egg in the Basket over a frying pan zooms out to Gordon's hands holding the pan, reminiscent of V preparing the same dish. Evey wakes up to Stan Getz, Tom Jobim, João Gilberto, and Astrud Gilberto's &quot;[[w:Corcovado (song)|Corcovado]]&quot;. She had previously sought refuge at Gordon Deitrich's home after escaping from V]''
:'''Gordon''': ''Bonjour, mademoiselle.''
:'''Evey''': ''[puzzled]'' What is that you're making?
:'''Gordon''': We call it &quot;Eggie in the Basket&quot;. My mum used to make them.
:'''Evey''': This is weird.
:'''Gordon''': What?
:'''Evey''': The first morning I was with him, he made me eggs just like this.
:'''Gordon''': Really? 
:'''Evey''': I swear! 
:'''Gordon''': That is a strange coincidence. Although there's an obvious explanation.
:'''Evey''': There is?
:'''Gordon''': Yes, Evey. ''I'' am V. At last, you know the truth. ''[Evey looks incredulously at Gordon]'' You're stunned, I know. It's hard to believe, isn't it? That beneath this wrinkled, well-fed exterior, there lies a dangerous killing machine with a fetish for Fawkesian masks. ''¡Viva la revolución!''
:'''Evey''': That is not funny, Gordon.
:'''Gordon''': ''[sighs]'' Yes, I know. I'm useless without a studio audience. 
:'''Evey''': I've seen people go to jail for less than that.
:'''Gordon''': Of course. He was right, wasn't he? There ''is'' something wrong with this country.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Finch''': I want to ask a question, Dominic. I don't care if you answer me or not. I just want to say this aloud... The question I want to ask is about St Mary's and Three Waters. The question that's kept me up for the last 24 hours, the question I have to ask, is: What if the worst, the most horrifying, biological attack in this country's history was not the work of religious extremists?
:'''Dominic''': Well, I don't understand. We know it was. They were caught. They confessed.
:'''Finch''': And they were executed, I know. And maybe that's really what happened. But I see this chain of events, these coincidences... and I have to ask: What if that isn't what happened? What if someone else unleashed that virus? What if someone else killed all those people? Would you really want to know who it was?
:'''Dominic''': Sure.
:'''Finch''': Even if it was someone working for this government? That's my question. If our own government was responsible for what happened at St Mary's and Three Waters... if our own government was responsible for the deaths of almost a hundred thousand people... ''would you really want to know?''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Gordon pops a champagne bottle]''
:'''Evey''': What is this all about?
:'''Gordon''': I'm celebrating.
:'''Evey''': Celebrating what?
:'''Gordon''': I think this could be the best show we've ever done.
:'''Gordon''': ''[on the television]'' Very good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Listen. We've got an extraordinary show for you tonight. You're not going to believe it. As a matter of fact, I don't think I do. Would you please give a warm welcome to our own Chancellor Adam Sutler!
:''[&quot;God Save the Queen&quot; plays on the background as an impersonator of Adam Sutler enters]''
:'''Mother''': No way!
:'''Girl with Spectacles''': It can't be!
:'''Gordon''': We threw out the censor-approved script, and shot a new one I wrote this morning.
:'''Evey''': Oh, my god.
:''[Cuts to the audience applaud on being threatened by the fake Sutler's soldiers. Evey chokes on her champagne]''
:'''Gordon''': Chancellor, Chancellor, Chancellor. I understand you've been under tremendous strain lately since the beginning of this whole terrorism business, and we thought it would be a nice idea to try and help you relax. Girls?
:''[Deitrich's girls arrive with a humidor, from where the fake Sutler takes a cigar. Another girl offers him a glass of milk]''
:'''Fake Sutler''': Ah! Warm milk. There's nothing better.
:'''Gordon''': I understand you enjoy a glass every night, Chancellor.
:'''Fake Sutler''': Since I was a boy. ''[The real Sutler is shown sitting in his bunker while watching, holding a glass of milk]'' But you're wrong, Mr Deitrich. The terrorist was never a serious concern.
:'''Gordon''': (in background) Oh, really?
:''[A prankster dressed as V ties the fake Sutler's shoelaces together, whilst replacing his cigar with an exploding one]''
:'''Girl with Spectacles''': It's him!
:'''Gordon''': Chancellor, Chancellor, are you saying that he's not still alive and active?
:'''Fake Sutler''': The terrorist has been neutralised.
:''[The cigar explodes as the fake Sutler huffs from it.]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh, my God, Chancellor, look! The terrorist!
:'''Fake Sutler''': The terrorist! ''[The camera pans to the fake V among the musicians, scraping a washboard]'' Get him! ''[Sutler walks toward the fake V, but having been shoe-laced, stumbles.]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh, dear!
:''[As Boots Randolph's &quot;[[w:Yakety Sax|Yakety Sax]]&quot; plays, the show plays a sped-up chase of V, the girls, and the soldiers, while the fake Sutler still struggles to get off from being shoe-laced. An actor in a gorilla suit appears randomly and bangs his chest with his fists. Gordon then throws a banana peel, and the fake V slips on it, and is tackled by the fake Sutler's soldiers]'' 
:'''Fake Sutler:''' At last! And now, for all the world to see!
:''[The fake Sutler approaches the fake V, now restrained by the soldiers. He unmasks the fake V, who was revealed to be another Sutler impersonator]''
:'''Girl with Spectacles''': ''[As her mother gasps and shakes her head]'' It's ''him''!
:'''Fake V/Sutler''': Unhand me! ''I'' am your chancellor!
:''[A group of old men, who are watching the show, laugh out loud]''
:'''Fake Sutler''': How dare you! ''I'' am the chancellor!
:''[Gordon makes a funny act of confusion, pointing to one fake Sutler after the other]''
:'''Fake V/Sutler''': Imposter! ''[the two fake Sutlers tackle each other in a farcical fight. Gordon makes a funny act of sympathy before they get back up.]'' Soldiers! That man is the terrorist!
:'''Fake Sutler''': I order you to shoot that traitor!
:'''Fake V/Sutler''': Liar!
:'''Fake Sutler''': Faker!
:'''Fake V/Sutler''': Fraud!
:'''Fake Sutler''': Ready...
:'''Fake V/Sutler''': Aim...
:'''Fake Sutlers''': ''[together, as Gordon blocks his ears with his fingers in a funny act of fright]'' FIRE!
:''[The soldiers shoot both fake Sutlers. The curtain closes, the entire public is left laughing and as Gordon bows down to the clapping audience, another fake V sneaks in from the cyclorama, snickering as he holds a cigar. The real Sutler shatters the glass of milk in his hand as he watches]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Gordon is on the phone to his agent, after his satire of Norsefire is broadcast]''
:'''Gordon''': What are they going to do, fine us? Big deal. We've got the most-watched show on air! Well, you're my agent, that's what I pay you for. Protect me! ''[hangs up]'' I should have hired him years ago to be my mother.
:'''Evey''': You're mad!
:'''Gordon''': Either that or I wasn't breast-fed.
:'''Evey''': Is ''everything'' a joke to you, Gordon?
:'''Gordon''': Only the things that matter.
:'''Evey''': What if they come after you?
:'''Gordon''': I'll tell you what's going to happen. I'll have to make some kind of apology and do some boring fund-raiser, but in the meantime, our ratings will go ''through the roof.'' It'll be fine! Trust me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Interrogator''': Do you know why you're here, Evey Hammond?
:'''Evey''': No. Please...
:'''Interrogator''': You've been formally charged with three counts of murder, the bombing of government property, conspiracy to commit terrorism, treason, and sedition — the penalty for which is death by firing squad. You have one chance, and only one chance, to save your life. You must tell us the identity or whereabouts of code name V. If your information leads to his capture, you will be released from this facility immediately. Do you understand what I'm telling you? You can return to your life, Ms Hammond. All you have to do is co-operate. Process her.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Interrogator''': I am instructed to inform you that you have been convicted by special tribunal and that unless you are ready to offer your co-operation, you are to be executed. Do you understand what I'm telling you?
:'''Evey''': Yes.
:'''Interrogator''': Are you ready to co-operate?
:'''Evey''': No.
:'''Interrogator''': Very well. Escort Ms Hammond back to her cell. Arrange a detail of six men and take her out behind the chemical sheds and shoot her.
:''[Later, as Evey sits alone in her cell, holding Valerie Page's letter tightly, the door swings open.]''
:'''Guard''': It's time.
:'''Evey''': I'm ready.
:'''Guard''': ''[hesitates]'' Look, all they want is one little piece of information. Just give them something, ''anything''.
:'''Evey''': Thank you, but I'd rather die behind the chemical sheds.
:'''Guard''': Then you have no fear anymore. You're completely free.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Evey is allowed to leave her prison unexpectedly and finds she was actually in V's lair the whole time]''
:'''V''': ''[entering]'' Hello, Evey.
:'''Evey''': ..You...it was you...
:'''V''': ''[quietly]'' Yeah.
:'''Evey''': ''[gestures behind her]'' That wasn't real... Is Gordon — ?
:'''V''': I'm sorry, but Mr Deitrich's dead. I thought they'd arrest him, but when they found a Qur'an in his house, they had him executed. 
:'''Evey''': ''[whispers]'' Oh, God.
:'''V''': Fortunately, I got to you before they did. 
:'''Evey''': ''You'' got to me? You did this to me... You cut my hair... You tortured me... You tortured me! Why?
:'''V''': You said you wanted to live without fear. I wish there would have been an easier way, but there wasn't.
:'''Evey''': ''[whispers]'' Oh, my God!
:'''V''': I know you may never forgive me, but nor will you ever understand how hard it was for me to do what I did. Every day, I saw in myself everything you see in me now. Every day, I wanted to end it. But each time you refused to give in, I knew I couldn't.
:'''Evey''': ''[shouting angrily]'' You're sick! You're ''evil!''
:'''V''': You could have ended it, Evey. You could have given in, but you didn't. Why?
:'''Evey''': Leave me alone! '''I HATE YOU!'''
:'''V''': '''THAT'S IT!''' See, at first, I thought it was hate, too. Hate was all I knew. It built my world, imprisoned me, taught me how to eat, how to drink, how to ''breathe''! I thought I'd ''die'' with all the hate in my veins. But then something happened. It happened to me, just as it happened to you.
:'''Evey''': '''SHUT UP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR LIES!'''
:'''V''': Your own father said that artists use lies to tell the truth. Yes, I created a lie, but because you believed it, you found something true about yourself.
:'''Evey''': No...
:'''V''': What was true in that cell is just as true now. What you felt in there has nothing to do with me.
:'''Evey''': I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING ANYMORE!
:'''V''': Don't run from it, Evey. You've been running all your life.
:'''Evey''': ''[gasping heavily]'' I can't... can't breathe... Asthma... When I was little... ''[collapses while V catches her]''
:'''V''': Listen to me, Evey. This may be the most important moment of your life. Commit to it. They took your parents from you. They took your brother from you. They put you in a cell and took everything they could take except your life. And you believed that was all there was, didn't you? The only thing you had left was your life, but it wasn't, was it?
:'''Evey''': ''[sobbing]'' Oh... please...
:'''V''': You found something else. In that cell, you found something that mattered more to you than life. Because when they threatened to kill you unless you gave them what they wanted... you told them you'd rather die. You faced your death, Evey. You were calm. You were still. Try to feel now what you felt then.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''V''': What was done to me was monstrous!
:'''Evey''': Then they created a monster.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Heyer''': Chancellor, I know no-one seems to want to discuss this, but if we're to be prepared for any eventuality, then it can't be ignored any longer. The red report in front of you has been vetted by several demolition specialists. Now, it concludes that the most logical delivery system for the terrorist to use would be an airborne attack. A separate report has been filed suggesting a train, despite the fact that all the tunnels surrounding Parliament have been sealed shut.
:'''Sutler''': Who filed that report?
:'''Heyer''': Chief Inspector Finch.
:'''Sutler''': Do you have any evidence to support this conclusion, Mr Finch?
:'''Finch''': No, sir, just a feeling.
:'''Sutler''': If I am sure of anything, Inspector Finch, it is that this government will not survive if it is to be subject to your feelings. Mr Dascombe, what we need right now is a clear message to the people of this country. This message must be heard on every radio, read in every newspaper, seen on every television. '''This message must resound throughout the entire InterLink!''' I want this country to realise that we stand on the edge of oblivion. I want every man, woman, and child to understand how close we are to chaos. '''I WANT EVERYONE TO REMEMBER WHY THEY NEED US!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[As V, disguised as William Rookwood, is found by Finch]''
:'''V''': ''[puts out a hand]'' That's close enough, inspector. ''[activates a debugger]''
:'''Finch''': We're not wired.
:'''V''': I'm sorry, but a man in my position survives by taking every precaution.
:'''Finch''': You've information for us?
:'''V''': No, you already have the information. All the names and dates are inside your head. What you want, what you really need, is a story.
:'''Finch''': A story can be true or false.
:'''V''': I leave such judgments to you, inspector.
:''[Later on]''
:'''Finch''': Can you prove any of this?
:'''V''': Why do you think I'm still alive?
:'''Finch''': Right. We'd like to take you into protective custody, Mr Rookwood.
:'''V''': Oh, I'm sure you would. But if you want that recording, you'll do what I tell you to do. Put Creedy under 24-hour surveillance. When I feel safe that he can't pick his nose without you knowing, I'll contact you again. Until then, cheerio.
:'''Finch''': Rookwood. Why didn't you come forward before? What were you waiting for?
:'''V''': Well, for you, inspector. I needed you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[two guards watch Creedy via CCTV, when the lights go out, V captures him and starts [[w:Ludwig van Beethoven|Ludwig van Beethoven]]'s'' [[w:Symphony No.5 (Beethoven)|Symphony No.5]] ''playing]''
:'''Guard #1''': What's he doing in the dark there?
:'''Guard #2''': Creepy Creedy. Not sure I want to know.
:'''V''': Sutler can no longer trust you, can he, Mr Creedy? And we both know why. After I destroy Parliament, his only chance will be to offer them someone else, some other piece of meat. And who will that be? You, Mr Creedy. A man as smart as you has probably considered this. A man as smart as you probably has a plan. That plan is the reason Sutler no longer trusts you. It's the reason you're being watched right now, why there are eyes and ears in every room of this house and a tap on every phone.
:'''Creedy''': Bollocks.
:'''V''': Oh, a man as smart as you, I think, knows otherwise.
:'''Creedy''': What do you want?
:'''V''': Sutler. Come now, Mr Creedy, you knew this was coming. You knew that one day, it'd be you or him. That's why Sutler's been kept underground for &quot;security purposes&quot;. That's why there are several of your men close to Sutler. Men that can be counted on. All you have to do is say the word.
:'''Creedy''': What do I get out of this deal?
:'''V''': Me. ''[lifts a chalk up to Creedy]'' If you accept, put an X on your front door.
:'''Creedy''': ''[lifts his hand to take the chalk]'' Why should I trust you?
:'''V''': Because it's the only way you're going to stop me.
:''[Creedy takes the chalk]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Dominic''': We've got Creedy pinned like a butterfly for weeks. Still no word; what's he waiting for?
:''[the phone rings, and Dominic answers it]
:'''Dominic''': Yeah? Inspector, it's for you.
:'''Finch''': ''[takes the phone]'' Yeah?
:'''Captain Clark''': Is that Chief Inspector Finch?
:'''Finch''': It is.
:'''Captain Clark''': This is Captain Clark of the 137th ward at Southend. We found him.
:'''Finch''': Found who?
:'''Captain Clark''': William Rookwood, the one you've been looking for. I saw your report a couple of weeks ago, thought I'd run it through our John Does. Sure enough, I hooked him; perfect dental match. He was a floater, a couple of fishermen picked him up. No ID, never solved. Until now, that is.
:'''Finch''': William Rookwood is dead?
:'''Captain Clark''': I'd say so. 20 years now.
:''[we then see a shot of Rookwood's face, revealed to be a mask used by V]''
:'''Finch''': GOD DAMMIT!! That son of a bitch sat there and spoon-fed me that bullshit, and I ate it up!!
:'''Dominic''': So what do we do now, Inspector?
:'''Finch''': We do what we should've been doing. We find him!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Sutler''': Every day, gentlemen. Every day that brings us closer to November. Every day that man remains free is one more failure! 347 days, gentlemen! 347 failures!
:'''Creedy''': Chancellor, we do not have the adequate force to...
:'''Sutler''': '''WE ARE BEING ''BURIED'' BENEATH THE ''AVALANCHE'' OF YOUR INADEQUACIES, MR CREEDY!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sutler''': I want anyone caught with one of those masks arrested!
:'''Convenience Store V''': Give me the money! Give me the fucking money!
:'''Dominic''': We're under siege here. The whole city's gone mad.
:'''Finch''': That's exactly what he wants. 
:'''Dominic''': What?
:'''Convenience Store V''': Anarchy in the UK! ''[fires shots into the air, then escapes with the money]''
:'''Finch''': Chaos.
:'''Sutler''': Mr Creedy, I am holding you personally responsible for this situation.
:''[we soon go to a new scene, where Creedy is revealed to have accepted his earlier deal with V.]''
:'''Finch''': The problem is that he knows us better than we know ourselves. That's why I went to Larkhill last night.
:'''Dominic''': That's outside quarantine.
:'''Finch''': I had to see it. There wasn't much left. But when I was there it was strange – I suddenly had this feeling that everything was connected. It was like I could see the whole thing; one long chain of events that stretched back to before Larkhill. I felt like I could see everything that had happened, and everything that was going to happen. It was like a perfect pattern, laid out in front of me, and I realised that we were all part of it, and all trapped by it.
:'''Dominic''': So do you know what's going to happen?
:'''Finch''': No. It was a feeling. But I can guess. With so much chaos, someone will do something stupid. And when they do, things will turn nasty.
:''[A young girl wearing one of V's Guy Fawkes mask is shown being shot and killed by a secret police officer. Angry people surround and attack him, undeterred by his badge or gun.]''
:'''Finch''': And then, Sutler will be forced do the only thing he knows how to do. At which point, all V needs to do is keep his word. And then...
:''[V causes his completed dominoes to fall. During this, a martial-law like world is shown, with people attacking police and military vehicles.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sutler''': Tonight, I will speak directly to these people and make the situation perfectly clear to them. The security of this nation depends on complete and total compliance! Tonight, ''any'' protester, ''any'' instigator or agitator, '''WILL MADE EXAMPLE OF!'''
:'''Dascombe''': ''[clears throat]'' Chancellor, there is a contingency that has not been addressed.
:'''Sutler''': And what is ''that'', Mr Dascombe?
:'''Dascombe''': Should the terrorist succeed...?
:'''Sutler''': He won't.
:'''Dascombe''': I understand that it is highly unlikely, but if he does...?
:'''Sutler''': If he does, and something happens to that building, the only thing that will change, the only difference that it will make, is that tomorrow morning, instead of a newspaper, I will be reading '''MR CREEDY'S RESIGNATION!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dominic''': I went by Parliament. Never seen anything like it — tanks, anti-aircraft, infantry — it makes you wish that no-one would show up tonight. But if they do, what do you think will happen?
:'''Finch''': What usually happens when people ''without'' guns stand up to people ''with'' guns. Pull over here.
:'''Dominic''': We've been searching these tunnels for weeks. You really think we're going to find him now? ''[they pull up outside Charing Cross station. Finch gets out of the car.]'' Inspector? It's all gone wrong, hasn't it?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''V''': ''[confronting a helpless Sutler]'' At last, we finally meet. I have something for you, Chancellor. A farewell gift. For all the things you've done, for the things you might have done, and for the only thing you have left. ''[places a rose in Sutler's coat]'' Goodbye, Chancellor. Mr Creedy? 
:'''Creedy''': Disgusting. ''[executes Sutler with his revolver]'' Now that's done with. It's time to have a look at your face. Take off your mask.
:'''V''': No.
:''[Creedy nods and two Fingermen approach V; one tries to remove his mask, but V kills them both]''
:'''Creedy''': Defiant to the end, huh? You won't cry like him, will you? You're not afraid of death. You're like me.
:'''V''': The only thing that you and I have in common, Mr Creedy, is we're both about to die.
:'''Creedy''': ''[scoffs]'' How do you imagine that's going to happen?
:'''V''': With my hands around your neck.
:'''Creedy''': Bollocks. What are you going to do, huh? We've swept this place. You've got ''nothing''. Nothing but your bloody knives and your fancy karate gimmicks. We have ''guns''!
:'''V''': No, what you have are bullets and the hopes that when your guns are empty, I'm no longer standing. Because if I am, you'll all be dead before you've reloaded.
:'''Creedy''': That's impossible! [''Raises his revolver and thumbs back the hammer''] Kill him.
:''[Creedy and his men open fire on V. After their guns are empty, with many rounds fired, V stand half-bowed, but then straightens and inhales deeply]''
:'''V''': My turn.
:''[V swiftly kills all of Creedy's remaining men with his knives, while Creedy frantically reloads his revolver]''
:'''Creedy''': ''[Starts shooting the approaching V]'' Die! ''Die''! Why won't you die?! ''[His gun clicks empty]'' Why won't you die?
:'''V''': ''[Gasping]'' Beneath this mask, there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask, there is an ''idea'', Mr Creedy. And ideas are bulletproof!
:''[V grabs Creedy by the throat, lifts him up and pins him to the fence, and breaks his neck. Dropping the corpse, he removes an armored breastplate, now full of bullet holes, that he had been wearing under his clothes. He staggers away, bleeding heavily.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Evey and Finch stand watching Parliament erupt in explosions of fireworks while the'' 1812 Overture ''plays over the loudspeakers]''
:'''Finch''': Who was he?
:'''Evey''': He was [[w:Edmond Dantès|Edmond Dantès]]. And he was my father. And my mother... my brother... my friend. He was you, and me. He was all of us.

{{Misattributed begin}}

== Quoted from other sources ==
[[File:GuysSparkler.JPG|thumb|right|Remember, Remember&lt;br /&gt;The fifth of November,&lt;br /&gt;The gunpowder treason and plot.&lt;br /&gt;I know of no reason&lt;br /&gt;Why the gunpowder treason&lt;br /&gt;Should ever be forgot.]]
:&lt;small&gt;These statements, popularized in the film, are actually quotes from other sources. &lt;/small&gt;

* Remember, Remember ''or'' Please to remember&lt;br /&gt;The fifth of November,&lt;br /&gt;The gunpowder treason and plot.&lt;br /&gt;I know of no reason&lt;br /&gt;Why the gunpowder treason&lt;br /&gt;Should ever be forgot.
** Traditional English verse recited for [[Guy Fawkes]] Night

* The multiplying villainies of nature do swarm upon him...&lt;br /&gt;''[skipping four of the original lines]'' Disdaining fortune with his brandished steel, which smoked with bloody execution...
** [[William Shakespeare]], in ''[[Macbeth]]'' 1.2.17-18

* We are oft to blame in this. 'Tis too much proved that with devotion's visage and pious action we do sugar o'er the devil himself.'
** [[William Shakespeare]], in ''[[Hamlet]]'' 3.1.46-49

* I dare do all that may become a man; Who dares do more is none.
** [[William Shakespeare]], in ''[[Macbeth]]'' 1.7.47-48

* And thus I clothe my naked villainy&lt;br /&gt;With old odd ends, stol'n forth of holy writ;&lt;br /&gt;And seem a saint, when most I play the devil.
** [[William Shakespeare]], in  ''[[Richard III (play)|Richard III]]'' 1.3.336-38

* Conceal me what I am, and be my aid&lt;br /&gt;For such disguise as haply shall become&lt;br /&gt;The form of my intent.
** [[William Shakespeare]], in ''[[Twelfth Night]]'' 1.2.53-55
{{Misattributed end}}

== Quotes about ''V for Vendetta'' ==
[[File:VSymbol1.png|thumb|V has a [[totalitarian]] state to overthrow, and only a year to do it in, and we watch as he improvises a [[revolution]]. ~ [[Roger Ebert]] ]] 
[[File:Circle-A red.svg|thumb|right|One powerful theme centers on the notion that ideas live forever, their power undiminished even as those who espouse them die. ~ Claudia Puig]]
* '''There are ideas in this film.''' The most pointed is V's belief: &quot;People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.&quot; I am not sure V has it right; surely in the ideal state governments and their people should exist happily together. '''Fear in either direction must lead to violence. But V has a totalitarian state to overthrow, and only a year to do it in, and we watch as he improvises a revolution.'''
** [[Roger Ebert]], in [http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/v-for-vendetta-2006 ''Chicago Sun-Times'' (16 March 2006)]

* '''Brutal, audacious and very slippery, ''V for Vendetta'' is the ballsiest major studio release I've ever seen'''… ''Vendetta'' is as rousing, engaging and devious as only the best propaganda can be — '''a call to rebellion that dares to question our respect for authority and gives us a masked terrorist and his manipulated prodigy as our heroes.''' And unlike other political thrillers that seem content to simply wallow their dissatisfaction with the state of the world, ''Vendetta'' demands that we take personal responsibility for our actions and for the administrations that we allow to come into power... ''Vendetta'' is a thematic powderkeg... Straight up, this is as invigorating, challenging and moving a film as one can hope to expect, especially from a major studio (and the first). Don't miss the movie of the year.
**[http://web.archive.org/web/20080523185920/http://www.freezedriedmovies.com/review.php?id=338 Brian Buzz Juergens at freezedriedmovies.com]

* '''The dark and stylized ''V for Vendetta'' is visually exhilarating, provocative and disturbing.''' Set in a slightly futuristic world (London in 2020), ''Vendetta'' is an action thriller that also stimulates thought... '''Despite its disparate influences, ''Vendetta'' feels captivatingly original.''' The multilayered film can be appreciated strictly as an action thriller or for its deeper message about personal responsibility, political oppression and revolutionary change. '''One powerful theme centers on the notion that ideas live forever, their power undiminished even as those who espouse them die.'''
** [http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/reviews/2006-03-15-v-for-vendetta_x.htm Claudia Puig at ''USA Today'']

* It seemed to me the two more absolute extremes were anarchy and fascism. This was one of the things I objected to in the recent film, where it seems to be, from the script that I read, sort of recasting it as current American neo-conservatism vs. current American liberalism. There wasn't a mention of anarchy as far as I could see. The fascism had been completely defanged. I mean, I think that any references to racial purity had been excised, whereas actually, fascists are quite big on racial purity.
:* [[Alan Moore]] [http://web.archive.org/web/20060404210249/http://www.comicon.com/thebeat/2006/03/a_for_alan_pt_1_the_alan_moore.html]

==Taglines==
* An uncompromising vision of the future from the creators of the Matrix trilogy.
* People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.
* Remember, remember the 5th of November.
* FREEDOM! FOREVER!
* Strength through unity, unity through faith!
* England prevails.
* Ideas are bulletproof.

==Cast==
* [[Natalie Portman]] – Evey Hammond 
* [[Hugo Weaving]] – V
* [[w:Stephen Rea|Stephen Rea]] – Eric Finch
* [[Stephen Fry]] – Gordon Dietrich
* [[w:John Hurt|John Hurt]] – Chancellor Adam Sutler

== External links ==
{{wikipedia-inline}}&lt;br&gt;{{commonscat-inline|V for Vendetta}}
*{{imdb title|id=0434409|title=V for Vendetta}}
*{{rotten-tomatoes| id=v_for_vendetta |title=V for Vendetta}}

{{V for Vendetta}}

[[Category:2006 films]]
[[Category:Political drama films]]
[[Category:Dystopian films]]
[[Category:Post-apocalyptic films]]
[[Category:Films based on works by Alan Moore]]
[[Category:Journalist films]]
[[Category:Screenplays by The Wachowskis]]
[[Category:Films set in London]]
[[Category:Films about terrorism]]
[[Category:Conspiracy films]]
[[Category:Films about revenge]]
[[Category:Action thriller films]]</text>
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      <text bytes="63234" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title|''V for Vendetta'' (film)}}
[[File:V for Vendetta film.jpg|thumb| ''Vi veri veniversum vivus vici'' — By the [[power]] of [[truth]], I while living have [[conquered]] the [[universe]].]] 

[[File:Anonymous.jpg|thumb|right|This visage, no mere veneer of [[vanity]], is a vestige of the [[w:vox populi|vox populi]], now vacant, vanished.]]
'''''[[w:V for Vendetta (film)|V for Vendetta]]''''' is a [[w:2006 in film|2006 film drama]] set in a [[w:Dystopia|dystopian]] future United Kingdom, where [[w:V (comics)|V]], a mysterious radical [[anarchism|anarchist]] wearing a [[Guy Fawkes]] costume, works to bring down an oppressive [[fascist]] government, profoundly affecting the people he encounters. It was released in theatres March 17, 2006.
:''Directed by [[w:James McTeigue|James McTeigue]]. Written by [[w:Lilly Wachowski|Lilly (then Andy) Wachowski]] and [[w:Lana Wachowski|Lana (then Larry) Wachowski]], and adapted from the graphic novel ''[[V for Vendetta]]'' by [[Alan Moore]] and [[w:David Lloyd|David Lloyd]]. 
{{center|'''Remember, remember the 5th of November.''' &lt;small&gt;([[#taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

==V==
[[File:Principal cast of V for Vendetta.jpg|thumb|While the truncheon may be used in lieu of [[conversation]], [[words]] will always retain their [[power]]. Words offer the means to [[meaning]], and for those who will [[listen]], the enunciation of [[truth]].]]

* V: ''Voilà!'' In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the ''vox populi'', now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! (carves the letter V in sign with his sword) The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. (Laughs wheezily) Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.
** V's Introduction To Evey

* V: Good evening, London. Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of everyday routine, the security of the familiar, the tranquillity of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, whereby those important events of the past, usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle, are celebrated with a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the fifth, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat. There are, of course, those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well, certainly, there are those who are more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable. But again, truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. They were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic, you turned to the now high chancellor, Adam Sutler. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent. Last night, I sought to end that silence. Last night, I destroyed the Old Bailey to remind this country of what it has forgotten. More than four hundred years ago, a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words; they are perspectives. So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you, then I would suggest that you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me, one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot.
** V's Speech To England

*V: Our story begins, as these stories often do, with a young, up-and-coming politician. He's a deeply religious man and a member of the Conservative Party. He's completely single-minded and has no regard for the political process. The more power he attains, the more obvious his zealotry and the more aggressive his supporters become. Eventually, his party launches a special project in the name of ''&quot;national security&quot;''. At first, it's believed to be a search for biological weapons and is pursued without regard to its cost. However, the true goal of this project is power, complete and total hegemonic domination. The project, however, ends violently; but the efforts of those involved are not in vain, for a new ability to wage war is born from the blood of one of the victims. Imagine a virus, the most terrifying virus you can, and then imagine that you, and you alone, have the cure. But if your ultimate goal is power, how best to use such a weapon? It's at this point in our story that along comes a spider. He is a man seemingly without a conscience, for whom the ends always justify the means, and it is he who suggests that their target should not be an enemy of the country but rather the country itself. Three targets are chosen to maximise the effect of the attack: a school, a tube station, and a water treatment plant. Several hundred die within the first few weeks. Fueled by the media, fear and panic spread quickly, fracturing and dividing the country until, at last, the true goal comes into view. Before the St Mary's crisis, no-one would have predicted the results of the election that year. ''No-one''. And then, not long after the election, lo and behold, a miracle. Some believe it was the work of God himself, but it was a pharmaceutical company controlled by certain party members that made them all obscenely rich. A year later, several extremists are tried, found guilty, and executed, while a memorial is built to canonise their victims. But the end result, the true genius of the plan, was the ''fear''. Fear became the ultimate tool of this government, and through it, our politician was ultimately appointed to the newly-created position of high chancellor. The rest, as they say, is history.
** V's story to Inspector Finch, disguised as William Rookwood

* ''Vi veri veniversum vivus vici''
** By the power of truth, I while living have conquered the universe.

==Evey Hammond==
[[File:Quiosc V de Vendetta.jpg|thumb|right|[[Artists]] use [[lies]] to tell the [[truth]], while [[politicians]] use them to cover the truth up.]]

* &quot;[[Remember]], remember &lt;br /&gt;  The fifth of November &lt;br /&gt; The gunpowder treason and plot. &lt;br /&gt; I know of no reason &lt;br /&gt; Why the gunpowder treason &lt;br /&gt; Should ever be forgot.&quot; &lt;br /&gt; But what of the man? I know his name was [[Guy Fawkes]], and I know that, in 1605, he attempted to blow up the houses of Parliament. But who was he really? What was he like? We are told to remember the idea, not the man, because a man can fail. He can be caught. He can be killed and forgotten. But four hundred years later an idea can still change the world. I've witnessed first-hand the power of ideas. I've seen people kill in the name of them, and die defending them. But you cannot kiss an idea, cannot touch it, or hold it. Ideas do not bleed. They do not feel pain. They do not love. And it is not an idea that I miss, it is a man. A man that made me remember the fifth of November. A man that I will never forget.
* Are you like a ''[[crazy]] person''?
** ''After V has just saved her from the Fingermen and finished his verbose introduction''
* God is in the rain.
* A fake ID works a lot better than a Guy Fawkes mask.
* I worried about myself for a while. But one day I was at a market and a friend, someone I'd worked with at the BTN, got in line behind me. I was so nervous that when the cashier asked me for my money I dropped it. My friend picked it up and handed it to me. She looked me right in the eye and didn't recognise me. I guess whatever you did to me worked better than I'd ever have imagined.
* No-one will ever forget that night, and what it meant to this country. But I will never forget the man, and what he meant to me.
* I remember them arguing at night. Mum wanted to leave the country. Dad refused. He said if we ran away, they would win. Win, like it was a game.
* Artists use lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to cover the truth up.
* I wish I believed that was possible. But every time I've seen this world change, it's always been for the worse.

==Valerie Page==
[[File:Rose-on-music-book-on-piano.jpg|thumb|right|I [[hope]] that the [[world]] turns and things get better. But I hope most of all that you [[understand]], that even though I will never meet you, [[laugh]] with you, [[cry]] with you, or [[kiss]] you, I [[love]] you. With [[all]] my [[heart]], I love you.]]

* I know there's no way I can convince you this is not one of their tricks, but I don't care; I am me. My name is Valerie. I don't think I'll live much longer, and I wanted to tell someone about my life. This is the only autobiography I'll ever write, and God - I'm writing it on toilet paper. I was born in Nottingham in 1985. I don't remember much of those early years, but I do remember the rain. My grandmother owned a farm in Tuttlebrook, and she used to tell me that God was in the rain. I passed my 11th lesson into girl's grammar. It was at school that I met my first girlfriend. Her name was Sara. It was her wrists. They were beautiful. I thought we would love each other forever. I remember our teacher telling us that it was an adolescent phase people outgrew. Sara did. I didn't. In 2002, I fell in love with a girl named Christina. That year I came out to my parents. I couldn't have done it without Chris holding my hand. My father wouldn't look at me; he told me to go and never come back. My mother said nothing. But I had only told them the truth. Was that so selfish? Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us, but within that inch, we are free.
* I'd always known what I wanted to do with my life, and in 2015 I starred in my first film, ''The Salt Flats''. It was the most important role in my life, not because of my career, but because that was how I met Ruth. The first time we kissed, I knew I never wanted to kiss any other lips but hers again. We moved to a small flat in London together. She grew scarlet carsons for me in our window box, and our place always smelled of roses. Those were the best years of my life. But America's war grew worse and worse … and eventually came to London. After that, there were no roses anymore. Not for anyone.
* I remember how the meaning of words began to change. How unfamiliar words like &quot;collateral&quot; and &quot;rendition&quot; became frightening, while things like Norsefire and the Articles of Allegiance became powerful. I remember how different became dangerous. I still don't understand it, why they hate us so much. They took Ruth while she was out buying food. I've never cried so hard in my life. It wasn't long till they came for me. It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years, I had roses and apologised to no-one. I shall die here. Every inch of me will perish. Every inch but one. An inch … it is small, and it is fragile, but it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us. I hope that, whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. Valerie.

==Delia Surridge==

:''[Notes from her covert journal, whom Finch reads]''

*May 23. My first batch of subjects arrived today, and I have to admit that I am very excited. This could be the dawn of a new age. Nuclear power is meaningless in a world where a virus can kill an entire population and leave its wealth intact...
*May 27. Commander Prothero toured the lab with a priest, Father Lilliman, who I was told is here to monitor for rules and rights violations. It made me nervous, but the commander assured me there wouldn't be a problem.
*June 2. I kept wondering if these people knew how they might be helping their country if they would act any differently. They're so weak and pathetic. They never look you in the eye. I find myself hating them.
*August the 18th. Of the original four dozen, over 75 per cent are now deceased. No controllable pattern has yet emerged.
*September the 18th. There is one case that continues to give me hope. He exhibits none of the immune system pathologies the other subjects developed. I've discovered cellular anomalies in his blood that I've been unable to categorise. The mutations seem to have triggered the abnormal development of basic kinaesthesia and reflexes. The subject said he could no longer remember who he was or where he was from. Whoever he was, he is now the key to our dream and the hope that all of this will not have been in vain.
*November the 5th. It started last night, around midnight. The first explosions tore open the entire medical section. All my work, gone. I was trying to understand how it could've happened when I saw him. The man from room five. He looked at me. Not with eyes. There were no eyes. But I know he was looking at me because I felt it.
*Oh my God...''what have I done?''

==Lewis Prothero==

* So I read that the former United States is so desperate for medical supplies that they have allegedly sent several containers filled with wheat and tobacco. A gesture, they said, of goodwill. You want to know what I think? Well, you're listening to my show, so I will assume you do. I think it's high time we let the colonies know what we really think of them. I think it's payback time for a little tea party they threw for us a few hundred years ago. I say we go down to those docks tonight and dump that crap where everything from the Ulcered Sphincter of Arse-erica belongs. Who's with me? Who's ''bloody'' with me? Did you like that? USA; Ulcered Sphincter of Arse-erica. I mean, what else can you say? Here was a country that had everything, absolutely ''everything'', and now, 20 years later, is ''what''? The world's biggest leper colony. Why? Godlessness. Let me say that again: ''Godlessness''. It wasn't the war they started. It wasn't the plague ''they'' created. It was ''judgement''. No-one escapes their past. No-one escapes judgement. You think He's not up there? You think He's not watching over this country? How else can you explain it? He tested us, but we came through. We did what we had to do. Islington, Enfield. I was there. I saw it all. Immigrants, Muslims, homosexuals, terrorists, ''disease-ridden degenerates. They had to go!'' '''Strength through unity, unity through faith!''' I'm a God-fearing Englishman and I am god-''damn'' proud of it!
** First BTN Speech

*I'll tell you what I know, I'll tell you what I know, I'll tell you what I know, '''''England prevails!'''''
** The only part of his second BTN speech ever seen or heard.

*I'll tell you what I know. I know '''this is not a man. A man does not wear a mask. A man does not threaten innocent civilians.''' He's what ''every'' gutless, freedom-hating terrorist is: '''a god-damn coward!'''
** First part of his third BTN speech

*There will be no negotiation, Roger. When I arrive in the morning, the Paddy will be gone. I'm looking at the tape right now, and he has no idea how to light me. My nose looks like Big fucking Ben! Listen to me, you bleeding sod. England prevails because ''I'' say it does! And so does every lazy cunt on this show, and that includes ''you''! Find another DOP, or find yourself another job!
** Phone call to Roger Dascombe

*I'll tell you what I wish: '''I wish I'd been there.''' I wish I'd had the chance for a face-to-face. ''Just one chance,'' that's all I need.
** Second part of his third BTN speech, before V breaks into his home

*This so-called &quot;V&quot; and his accomplice, Evey Hammond, neo-demagogues, spouting their message of hate. A delusional and aberrant voice, ''delivering a terrorist's ultimatum''. An ultimatum that was met with swift and surgically precise ''justice''. And the moral of this story, ladies and gentlemen, is: '''''&quot;GOOD GUYS WIN, BAD GUYS LOSE, AND AS ALWAYS, ENGLAND PREVAILS!&quot;'''''
** Third and final part of his third BTN speech

==High Chancellor Adam Sutler==

* My fellow Englishmen: tonight, our country, that which we stand for, and all we hold dear, faces a grave and terrible threat. This violent and unparalleled assault on our security will not go undefended. Or unpunished. Our enemy is an insidious one, seeking to divide us and destroy the very foundation of our great nation. Tonight, we must remain steadfast. We must remain determined. But most of all, we must remain united. Those caught tonight in violation of curfew will be considered in league with our enemy and prosecuted as a terrorist without leniency or exception. Tonight, I give you my most solemn vow: that justice will be ''swift'', it will be ''righteous'', and ''it will be without mercy''!

==Dialogue==
[[File:Dark Rosaleen Anarchy 1.svg|thumb|right|There are no coincidences, Delia. Only the [[illusion]] of [[coincidence]].]]
[[File:Norsefire.svg|thumb|right|Those caught tonight in violation of curfew will be considered in league with our [[enemy]] and prosecuted as a [[terrorist]] without leniency or exception.]]
[[File:Coalition of the Willing, To Power.svg|thumb|right|I suddenly had this feeling that everything was connected. It was like I could see the [[whole]] thing; one long chain of events that stretched back to before Larkhill. I felt like I could see everything that had happened, and everything that was going to happen…]]
[[File:Domino effect.jpg|thumb|right|With so much chaos, someone will do something [[stupid]]. And when they do, things will turn nasty. And then, Sutler will be forced do the only thing he knows how to do. At which point, all V needs to do is keep his word. And then...]]
[[File:Tom 500 nightfiring.jpg|thumb|right|What you have are bullets and the hopes that when your [[guns]] are empty, I'm no longer standing. Because if I am, you'll all be [[dead]] before you've reloaded.]]

:'''V''': I can assure you, I mean you no harm.
:'''Evey''': Who are you?
:'''V''': Who? Who is but the form, following the function of what, and what I am is a man in a mask.
:'''Evey''': Well, I can see that.
:'''V''': Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation, I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.
:'''Evey''': Oh, right.
:'''V''': But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona.
:''V: Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valourous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! (carves V in sign with sword) The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. (Laughs wheezily) Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V.
:'''Evey''': Are you like a crazy person?
:'''V''': I am quite sure they will say so. But to whom may I ask am I speaking?
:'''Evey''': I'm Evey.
:'''V''': Evey? E-V — of course you are.
:'''Evey''': What do you mean by that?
:'''V''': It means I, like [[God]], do not [[play]] with [[dice]], and do not [[believe]] in [[coincidence]]. Are you hurt?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Sutler''': Gentlemen, you have had four hours, you had better have results. Mr Creedy?
:'''Peter Creedy''': The Bailey area is quarantined, and all significant witnesses have been detained.
:'''Sutler''': Good. Mr Etheridge?
:'''Brian Etheridge''': A recording device was found wired into the central emergency broadcast system. The DCD was [[w:Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky|Tchaikovsky]]'s ''[[w:1812 Overture|1812 Overture]]''.
:'''Sutler''': Add it to the blacklist. I never want to hear that music again.
:'''Etheridge''': Yes, sir. We also doubled our random sweeps and are monitoring a lot of phone surveillance, indicating a high percentage of conversation concerned with the explosion.
:'''Sutler''': Mr Dascombe, what are we doing about that?
:'''Roger Dascombe''': We're calling it an &quot;emergency demolition&quot;. We have spin coverage on the network and throughout the InterLink, and several experts have been lined up to testify against the Bailey's structural integrity.
:'''Sutler''': I want Prothero to speak tonight on the dangers of these old buildings and how we must avoid clinging to the edifice of a decadent past. He should conclude that the New Bailey will become the symbol of our time and the future that our conviction has rewarded us. Mr Heyer?
:'''Conrad Heyer''': Our surveillance cameras captured several images of the terrorist, though the mask obviously makes retinal identification impossible. We also managed to get a photo of the girl that Creedy's men were detaining.
:'''Sutler''': Who is she, Mr Finch?
:'''Eric Finch''': Not sure, yet, sir, but we're working on several leads.
:'''Sutler''': Anything else?
:'''Finch''': We located the fireworks launch and found traces of the explosives used at both sites. Unfortunately, it appears that despite the heavy level of sophistication, these devices were homemade with over-the-counter chemicals, making them very difficult to trace. Whoever he is, Chancellor, he is very good.
:'''Sutler''': Spare us your professional annotations, Mr Finch. They are irrelevant.
:'''Finch''': Apologies, Chancellor.
:'''Sutler''': Gentlemen, this is a test. Moments such as these are matters of faith. To fail is to invite doubt into everything we believe, everything that we have fought for. Doubt will plunge this country back into chaos and I ''will not let that happen''. Gentlemen, I want this terrorist found, and I want him to understand what ''terror'' really means. England prevails!
:'''Party leaders''': England prevails.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[just as the Old Bailey demolition report is broadcast]''
:'''Patricia''': You think people will buy this?
:'''Dascombe''': Well, why not? This is the BTN. Our job is to report the news, not fabricate it. That's the government's job.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Dominic Stone is driving Finch to Jordan Tower to find Evey, while he looks her up.]''
:'''Finch''': This looks serious. Her parents were political activists. They were detained when she was 12.
:'''Dominic''': What happened to her?
:'''Finch''': Juvenile reclamation project. For five years. We're going to need back-up, but keep it minimal.
:'''Dominic''': You sure about that, sir?
:'''Finch''': I just want a chance to talk to her before she disappears into one of Creedy's black bags.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Evey''': What is this place?
:'''V''': It's my home. I call it the Shadow Gallery.
:'''Evey''': It's beautiful...where did you get all this stuff?
:'''V''': Oh, here and there. Most of it from the vaults of the Ministry of Objectionable Materials.
:'''Evey''': You stole them?
:'''V''': Oh, heavens, no. Stealing implies ownership. You can't steal from the censor; I merely reclaimed them. 
:'''Evey''': God, if they ever find this place...
:'''V''': I suspect if they do find this place, a few bits of art will be the least of my worries.
:'''Evey''': You mean, after what you've done? God, what have I done? I Maced that detective. Why did I do that?
:'''V''': You did what you thought was right.
:'''Evey''': No. I shouldn't have done that. I must have been out of my mind.
:'''V''': Is that what you really think, or what they would want you to think?
:'''Evey''': I think I should go.
:'''V''': May I ask where?
:'''Evey''': Home. I have to go home.
:'''V''': You said they were looking for you. If they know where you work, they certainly know where you live.
:'''Evey''': I have friends. I could stay with them.
:'''V''': I'm afraid that won't work either. Now, you have to understand, Evey. I don't want this for either of us, but I couldn't see any other way. You were unconscious, and I had to make a decision. If I had left you there, right now, you'd be in one of Creedy's interrogation cells. They'd imprison you, torture you, and, in all probability, kill you in the pursuit of finding me. After what you did, I couldn't let that happen, so I picked you up and carried you to the only place I knew you'd be safe: here, to my home.
:'''Evey''': I won't tell anyone, I swear. You know you can trust me.
:'''V''': I'm sorry, but I can't take that risk.
:'''Evey''': But I don't even know where this is. We could be anywhere.
:'''V''': You know it's underground. You know the colour of the stone. That'd be enough for a clever man.
:'''Evey''': What are you saying? That I have to stay here?
:'''V''': Only until I'm done. After the 5th, I no longer think it'll matter.
:'''Evey''': You mean, a year from now? I have to stay ''here'' for a year?
:'''V''': Sorry, Evey. I didn't know what else to do.
:'''Evey''': You should have left me alone! '''WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A shot of an Egg in the Basket over a frying pan zooms out to V's scarred hands holding the pan. Evey wakes up to Stan Getz, Tom Jobim, João Gilberto, and Astrud Gilberto's &quot;[[w:The Girl from Ipanema|The Girl from Ipanema]]&quot;]''
:'''Evey''': V?
:'''V''': Ah. ''Bonjour, mademoiselle.''
:'''Evey''': I just wanted to apologise for my reaction last night. ''[V just nods]'' I understand what you did for me, and I wanted you to know I am grateful. ''[turns attention to V's scarred hands]'' Your hands!
:'''V''': ''[notices his hands, which were un-gloved]'' Yes. ''[puts gloves back on]'' There. That's better. I hope I didn't put you off your appetite.
:'''Evey''': No, please. It's just — are you all right?
:'''V''': Oh, yes, yes. Yes, I'm fine.
:'''Evey''': Can I ask what happened?
:'''V''': ''[hesitates for a moment]'' There was a fire. A long time ago. Ancient history for some. Not really very good table conversation. Now, would you care for a cup of tea with your egg?
:'''Evey''': Yes, thank you. I'm starving, actually.
:'''V''': Have a seat.
:''[Evey approaches the table, sits down, and eats the dish.]
:'''Evey''': Mmm. It's delicious!
:'''V''': Mmm. Good.
:'''Evey''': God, I haven't had real butter since I was a little girl. Where did you get it?
:'''V''': A government supply train on its way to Chancellor Sutler.
:'''Evey''': ''[chokes]'' You stole this from Chancellor Sutler!?
:'''V''': ''[nonchalantly]'' Yes.
:'''Evey''': You're insane!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Evey''': Can I ask about what you said on the telly?
:'''V''': Yes.
:'''Evey''': Did you mean it?
:'''V''': Every word.
:'''Evey''': You really think that blowing up parliament is going to make this country a better place?
:'''V''': There's no certainty, only opportunity.
:'''Evey''': I think you can be pretty certain that if anyone does show up, Creedy will black-bag everyone of them.
:'''V''': People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.
:'''Evey''': And you are going to make that happen by blowing up a building?
:'''V''': The building is a symbol, as is the act of destroying it. Symbols are given power by the people. Alone, a symbol is meaningless, but with enough people, blowing up a building can change the world.
:'''Evey''': I wish I believed that was possible, but every time I've seen the world change it's always been for the worse.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''V''': Good evening, Commander Prothero.
:'''Prothero''': How did you get in here?
:'''V''': Don't worry; I've made sure our reunion won't be disturbed by any pesky late-night phone calls, Commander.
:'''Prothero''': Stop that! Why do you keep calling me that?
:'''V''': That was your title, remember? When we first met, all those years ago. You wore a uniform in those days.
:'''Prothero''': ''[After some flashbacks of his time at Larkhill, including the fire, he figures out V as the man from Room 5]'' ''You''. It ''is'' you!
:'''V''': The ghost of Christmas past.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Evey''': V, yesterday I couldn't find my ID. You didn't take it, did you?
:'''V''': Would you prefer a lie or the truth?
:'''Evey''': ''[stands, gesturing toward the TV, which has just finished an announcement of Lewis Prothero's death]'' Did you have anything to do with that?
:'''V''': Yes, I killed him. 
:'''Evey''': You? Oh, God!
:'''V''': You're upset.
:'''Evey''': I'm upset? You just said you killed Lewis Prothero!
:'''V''': I might have killed the Fingermen who attacked you, but I heard no objection then. 
:'''Evey''': What?
:'''V''': Violence can be used for good.
:'''Evey''': What are you talking about?
:'''V''': Justice. 
:'''Evey''': Oh... I see.
:'''V''': There's no courtroom in this country for men like Prothero.
:'''Evey''': And are you going to kill more people?
:'''V''':  ''[nonchalantly]'' Yes.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Evey''': My father was a writer. You would've liked him. He used to say that artists use lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to cover the truth up. 
:'''V''': A man after my own heart.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Evey''': ''[reading inscription on mirror]'' ''[[w:Vi veri universum vivus vici|Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici]]''...
:'''V''': &quot;By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe&quot;.
:'''Evey''': Personal motto?
:'''V''': From ''[[Faust]]''.
:'''Evey''': That's about trying to cheat the devil, isn't it?
:'''V''': It is.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Delia''': ''[wakes in an apparently empty room]'' It's you, isn't it? You've come to kill me.
:'''V''': ''[from the shadows]'' Yes.
:'''Delia''': ''[lets out a sob]'' Thank God...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Delia''': After what happened, after what they did, I thought about killing myself. But I knew that one day you'd come for me. I didn't know what they were going to do. I swear to you. Read my journal.
:'''V''': What they did was only possible because of you.
:'''Delia''': [[w:Robert Oppenheimer|Oppenheimer]] was able to change more than the course of a war. He changed the entire course of human history. Is it wrong to hold on to that kind of hope?
:'''V''': I've not come for what you hoped to do. I've come for what you did.
:'''Delia''': It's funny. I was given one of your roses today. I wasn't sure you were the terrorist until I saw it. What a strange coincidence that I should be given one today.
:'''V''': There are no coincidences, Delia. Only the illusion of coincidence. I have another rose ''[takes one out]'', and this one is for you. ''[hands it to her]''
:'''Delia''': Are you going to kill me now?
:'''V''': I killed you ten minutes ago. ''[holds up a small hypodermic needle]'' While you slept.
:'''Delia''': ''[frightened]'' Is there any pain?
:'''V''': No.
:'''Delia''': Thank you. ''[pauses briefly]'' Is it meaningless to apologise?
:'''V''': Never.
:'''Delia''': ''[quietly]'' I'm ''so sorry''.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Finch''': The terrorist obviously wanted us to have it. He wanted us to know the whole story or at least a part of it.
:'''Sutler''': Am I to understand that you have read this document, inspector?
:'''Finch''': Yes, sir.
:'''Sutler''': Has anyone else read it, besides you?
:'''Finch''': No, sir.
:'''Sutler''': Then let me make this perfectly clear to you. The contents of this document are a matter of national security, constituting an assault on the character of several important party members as well as a blatant violation of the Articles of Allegiance. As the authenticity of this document cannot be verified, it could be an elaborate forgery created by the terrorist, as easily as it could be the deranged fantasy of a former party member who resigned for psychological reasons. Any discussion of this document or its contents will be regarded, at the very least, as an act of sedition, if not a willful act of treason. Is that understood, Mr Finch?
:'''Finch''': Yes, sir.
:'''Sutler''': You would do well, inspector, to put it out of your mind.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A shot of an Egg in the Basket over a frying pan zooms out to Gordon's hands holding the pan, reminiscent of V preparing the same dish. Evey wakes up to Stan Getz, Tom Jobim, João Gilberto, and Astrud Gilberto's &quot;[[w:Corcovado (song)|Corcovado]]&quot;. She had previously sought refuge at Gordon Deitrich's home after escaping from V]''
:'''Gordon''': ''Bonjour, mademoiselle.''
:'''Evey''': ''[puzzled]'' What is that you're making?
:'''Gordon''': We call it &quot;Eggie in the Basket&quot;. My mum used to make them.
:'''Evey''': This is weird.
:'''Gordon''': What?
:'''Evey''': The first morning I was with him, he made me eggs just like this.
:'''Gordon''': Really? 
:'''Evey''': I swear! 
:'''Gordon''': That is a strange coincidence. Although there's an obvious explanation.
:'''Evey''': There is?
:'''Gordon''': Yes, Evey. ''I'' am V. At last, you know the truth. ''[Evey looks incredulously at Gordon]'' You're stunned, I know. It's hard to believe, isn't it? That beneath this wrinkled, well-fed exterior, there lies a dangerous killing machine with a fetish for Fawkesian masks. ''¡Viva la revolución!''
:'''Evey''': That is not funny, Gordon.
:'''Gordon''': ''[sighs]'' Yes, I know. I'm useless without a studio audience. 
:'''Evey''': I've seen people go to jail for less than that.
:'''Gordon''': Of course. He was right, wasn't he? There ''is'' something wrong with this country.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Finch''': I want to ask a question, Dominic. I don't care if you answer me or not. I just want to say this aloud... The question I want to ask is about St Mary's and Three Waters. The question that's kept me up for the last 24 hours, the question I have to ask, is: What if the worst, the most horrifying, biological attack in this country's history was not the work of religious extremists?
:'''Dominic''': Well, I don't understand. We know it was. They were caught. They confessed.
:'''Finch''': And they were executed, I know. And maybe that's really what happened. But I see this chain of events, these coincidences... and I have to ask: What if that isn't what happened? What if someone else unleashed that virus? What if someone else killed all those people? Would you really want to know who it was?
:'''Dominic''': Sure.
:'''Finch''': Even if it was someone working for this government? That's my question. If our own government was responsible for what happened at St Mary's and Three Waters... if our own government was responsible for the deaths of almost a hundred thousand people... ''would you really want to know?''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Gordon pops a champagne bottle]''
:'''Evey''': What is this all about?
:'''Gordon''': I'm celebrating.
:'''Evey''': Celebrating what?
:'''Gordon''': I think this could be the best show we've ever done.
:'''Gordon''': ''[on the television]'' Very good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Listen. We've got an extraordinary show for you tonight. You're not going to believe it. As a matter of fact, I don't think I do. Would you please give a warm welcome to our own Chancellor Adam Sutler!
:''[&quot;God Save the Queen&quot; plays on the background as an impersonator of Adam Sutler enters]''
:'''Mother''': No way!
:'''Girl with Spectacles''': It can't be!
:'''Gordon''': We threw out the censor-approved script, and shot a new one I wrote this morning.
:'''Evey''': Oh, my god.
:''[Cuts to the audience applaud on being threatened by the fake Sutler's soldiers. Evey chokes on her champagne]''
:'''Gordon''': Chancellor, Chancellor, Chancellor. I understand you've been under tremendous strain lately since the beginning of this whole terrorism business, and we thought it would be a nice idea to try and help you relax. Girls?
:''[Deitrich's girls arrive with a humidor, from where the fake Sutler takes a cigar. Another girl offers him a glass of milk]''
:'''Fake Sutler''': Ah! Warm milk. There's nothing better.
:'''Gordon''': I understand you enjoy a glass every night, Chancellor.
:'''Fake Sutler''': Since I was a boy. ''[The real Sutler is shown sitting in his bunker while watching, holding a glass of milk]'' But you're wrong, Mr Deitrich. The terrorist was never a serious concern.
:'''Gordon''': (in background) Oh, really?
:''[A prankster dressed as V ties the fake Sutler's shoelaces together, whilst replacing his cigar with an exploding one]''
:'''Girl with Spectacles''': It's him!
:'''Gordon''': Chancellor, Chancellor, are you saying that he's not still alive and active?
:'''Fake Sutler''': The terrorist has been neutralised.
:''[The cigar explodes as the fake Sutler huffs from it.]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh, my God, Chancellor, look! The terrorist!
:'''Fake Sutler''': The terrorist! ''[The camera pans to the fake V among the musicians, scraping a washboard]'' Get him! ''[Sutler walks toward the fake V, but having been shoe-laced, stumbles.]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh, dear!
:''[As Boots Randolph's &quot;[[w:Yakety Sax|Yakety Sax]]&quot; plays, the show plays a sped-up chase of V, the girls, and the soldiers, while the fake Sutler still struggles to get off from being shoe-laced. An actor in a gorilla suit appears randomly and bangs his chest with his fists. Gordon then throws a banana peel, and the fake V slips on it, and is tackled by the fake Sutler's soldiers]'' 
:'''Fake Sutler:''' At last! And now, for all the world to see!
:''[The fake Sutler approaches the fake V, now restrained by the soldiers. He unmasks the fake V, who was revealed to be another Sutler impersonator]''
:'''Girl with Spectacles''': ''[As her mother gasps and shakes her head]'' It's ''him''!
:'''Fake V/Sutler''': Unhand me! ''I'' am your chancellor!
:''[A group of old men, who are watching the show, laugh out loud]''
:'''Fake Sutler''': How dare you! ''I'' am the chancellor!
:''[Gordon makes a funny act of confusion, pointing to one fake Sutler after the other]''
:'''Fake V/Sutler''': Imposter! ''[the two fake Sutlers tackle each other in a farcical fight. Gordon makes a funny act of sympathy before they get back up.]'' Soldiers! That man is the terrorist!
:'''Fake Sutler''': I order you to shoot that traitor!
:'''Fake V/Sutler''': Liar!
:'''Fake Sutler''': Faker!
:'''Fake V/Sutler''': Fraud!
:'''Fake Sutler''': Ready...
:'''Fake V/Sutler''': Aim...
:'''Fake Sutlers''': ''[together, as Gordon blocks his ears with his fingers in a funny act of fright]'' FIRE!
:''[The soldiers shoot both fake Sutlers. The curtain closes, the entire public is left laughing and as Gordon bows down to the clapping audience, another fake V sneaks in from the cyclorama, snickering as he holds a cigar. The real Sutler shatters the glass of milk in his hand as he watches]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Gordon is on the phone to his agent, after his satire of Norsefire is broadcast]''
:'''Gordon''': What are they going to do, fine us? Big deal. We've got the most-watched show on air! Well, you're my agent, that's what I pay you for. Protect me! ''[hangs up]'' I should have hired him years ago to be my mother.
:'''Evey''': You're mad!
:'''Gordon''': Either that or I wasn't breast-fed.
:'''Evey''': Is ''everything'' a joke to you, Gordon?
:'''Gordon''': Only the things that matter.
:'''Evey''': What if they come after you?
:'''Gordon''': I'll tell you what's going to happen. I'll have to make some kind of apology and do some boring fund-raiser, but in the meantime, our ratings will go ''through the roof.'' It'll be fine! Trust me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Interrogator''': Do you know why you're here, Evey Hammond?
:'''Evey''': No. Please...
:'''Interrogator''': You've been formally charged with three counts of murder, the bombing of government property, conspiracy to commit terrorism, treason, and sedition — the penalty for which is death by firing squad. You have one chance, and only one chance, to save your life. You must tell us the identity or whereabouts of code name V. If your information leads to his capture, you will be released from this facility immediately. Do you understand what I'm telling you? You can return to your life, Ms Hammond. All you have to do is co-operate. Process her.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Interrogator''': I am instructed to inform you that you have been convicted by special tribunal and that unless you are ready to offer your co-operation, you are to be executed. Do you understand what I'm telling you?
:'''Evey''': Yes.
:'''Interrogator''': Are you ready to co-operate?
:'''Evey''': No.
:'''Interrogator''': Very well. Escort Ms Hammond back to her cell. Arrange a detail of six men and take her out behind the chemical sheds and shoot her.
:''[Later, as Evey sits alone in her cell, holding Valerie Page's letter tightly, the door swings open.]''
:'''Guard''': It's time.
:'''Evey''': I'm ready.
:'''Guard''': ''[hesitates]'' Look, all they want is one little piece of information. Just give them something, ''anything''.
:'''Evey''': Thank you, but I'd rather die behind the chemical sheds.
:'''Guard''': Then you have no fear anymore. You're completely free.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Evey is allowed to leave her prison unexpectedly and finds she was actually in V's lair the whole time]''
:'''V''': ''[entering]'' Hello, Evey.
:'''Evey''': ..You...it was you...
:'''V''': ''[quietly]'' Yeah.
:'''Evey''': ''[gestures behind her]'' That wasn't real... Is Gordon — ?
:'''V''': I'm sorry, but Mr Deitrich's dead. I thought they'd arrest him, but when they found a Qur'an in his house, they had him executed. 
:'''Evey''': ''[whispers]'' Oh, God.
:'''V''': Fortunately, I got to you before they did. 
:'''Evey''': ''You'' got to me? You did this to me... You cut my hair... You tortured me... You tortured me! Why?
:'''V''': You said you wanted to live without fear. I wish there would have been an easier way, but there wasn't.
:'''Evey''': ''[whispers]'' Oh, my God!
:'''V''': I know you may never forgive me, but nor will you ever understand how hard it was for me to do what I did. Every day, I saw in myself everything you see in me now. Every day, I wanted to end it. But each time you refused to give in, I knew I couldn't.
:'''Evey''': ''[shouting angrily]'' You're sick! You're ''evil!''
:'''V''': You could have ended it, Evey. You could have given in, but you didn't. Why?
:'''Evey''': Leave me alone! '''I HATE YOU!'''
:'''V''': '''THAT'S IT!''' See, at first, I thought it was hate, too. Hate was all I knew. It built my world, imprisoned me, taught me how to eat, how to drink, how to ''breathe''! I thought I'd ''die'' with all the hate in my veins. But then something happened. It happened to me, just as it happened to you.
:'''Evey''': '''SHUT UP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR LIES!'''
:'''V''': Your own father said that artists use lies to tell the truth. Yes, I created a lie, but because you believed it, you found something true about yourself.
:'''Evey''': No...
:'''V''': What was true in that cell is just as true now. What you felt in there has nothing to do with me.
:'''Evey''': I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING ANYMORE!
:'''V''': Don't run from it, Evey. You've been running all your life.
:'''Evey''': ''[gasping heavily]'' I can't... can't breathe... Asthma... When I was little... ''[collapses while V catches her]''
:'''V''': Listen to me, Evey. This may be the most important moment of your life. Commit to it. They took your parents from you. They took your brother from you. They put you in a cell and took everything they could take except your life. And you believed that was all there was, didn't you? The only thing you had left was your life, but it wasn't, was it?
:'''Evey''': ''[sobbing]'' Oh... please...
:'''V''': You found something else. In that cell, you found something that mattered more to you than life. Because when they threatened to kill you unless you gave them what they wanted... you told them you'd rather die. You faced your death, Evey. You were calm. You were still. Try to feel now what you felt then.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''V''': What was done to me was monstrous!
:'''Evey''': Then they created a monster.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Heyer''': Chancellor, I know no-one seems to want to discuss this, but if we're to be prepared for any eventuality, then it can't be ignored any longer. The red report in front of you has been vetted by several demolition specialists. Now, it concludes that the most logical delivery system for the terrorist to use would be an airborne attack. A separate report has been filed suggesting a train, despite the fact that the tunnels surrounding Parliament have been sealed shut.
:'''Sutler''': Who filed that report?
:'''Heyer''': Chief Inspector Finch.
:'''Sutler''': Do you have any evidence to support this conclusion, Mr Finch?
:'''Finch''': No, sir, just a feeling.
:'''Sutler''': If I am sure of anything, Inspector Finch, it is that this government will not survive if it is to be subject to your feelings. Mr Dascombe, what we need right now is a clear message to the people of this country. This message must be read in every newspaper, heard on every radio, seen on every television. This message must resound throughout the ''entire'' InterLink! I want this country to realize that we stand on the edge of oblivion! I want every man, woman, and child to understand how close we are to chaos! '''I WANT EVERYONE TO REMEMBER WHY THEY NEED US!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[As V, disguised as William Rookwood, is found by Finch]''
:'''V''': ''[puts out a hand]'' That's close enough, inspector. ''[activates a debugger]''
:'''Finch''': We're not wired.
:'''V''': I'm sorry, but a man in my position survives by taking every precaution.
:'''Finch''': You've information for us?
:'''V''': No, you already have the information. All the names and dates are inside your head. What you want, what you really need, is a story.
:'''Finch''': A story can be true or false.
:'''V''': I leave such judgments to you, inspector.
:''[Later on]''
:'''Finch''': Can you prove any of this?
:'''V''': Why do you think I'm still alive?
:'''Finch''': Right. We'd like to take you into protective custody, Mr Rookwood.
:'''V''': Oh, I'm sure you would. But if you want that recording, you'll do what I tell you to do. Put Creedy under 24-hour surveillance. When I feel safe that he can't pick his nose without you knowing, I'll contact you again. Until then, cheerio.
:'''Finch''': Rookwood. Why didn't you come forward before? What were you waiting for?
:'''V''': Well, for you, inspector. I needed you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[two guards watch Creedy via CCTV, when the lights go out, V captures him and starts [[w:Ludwig van Beethoven|Ludwig van Beethoven]]'s'' [[w:Symphony No.5 (Beethoven)|Symphony No.5]] ''playing]''
:'''Guard #1''': What's he doing in the dark there?
:'''Guard #2''': Creepy Creedy. Not sure I want to know.
:'''V''': Sutler can no longer trust you, can he, Mr Creedy? And we both know why. After I destroy Parliament, his only chance will be to offer them someone else, some other piece of meat. And who will that be? You, Mr Creedy. A man as smart as you has probably considered this. A man as smart as you probably has a plan. That plan is the reason Sutler no longer trusts you. It's the reason you're being watched right now, why there are eyes and ears in every room of this house and a tap on every phone.
:'''Creedy''': Bollocks.
:'''V''': Oh, a man as smart as you, I think, knows otherwise.
:'''Creedy''': What do you want?
:'''V''': Sutler. Come now, Mr Creedy, you knew this was coming. You knew that one day, it'd be you or him. That's why Sutler's been kept underground for &quot;security purposes&quot;. That's why there are several of your men close to Sutler. Men that can be counted on. All you have to do is say the word.
:'''Creedy''': What do I get out of this deal?
:'''V''': Me. ''[lifts a chalk up to Creedy]'' If you accept, put an X on your front door.
:'''Creedy''': ''[lifts his hand to take the chalk]'' Why should I trust you?
:'''V''': Because it's the only way you're going to stop me.
:''[Creedy takes the chalk]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Dominic''': We've got Creedy pinned like a butterfly for weeks. Still no word; what's he waiting for?
:''[the phone rings, and Dominic answers it]
:'''Dominic''': Yeah? Inspector, it's for you.
:'''Finch''': ''[takes the phone]'' Yeah?
:'''Captain Clark''': Is that Chief Inspector Finch?
:'''Finch''': It is.
:'''Captain Clark''': This is Captain Clark of the 137th ward at Southend. We found him.
:'''Finch''': Found who?
:'''Captain Clark''': William Rookwood, the one you've been looking for. I saw your report a couple of weeks ago, thought I'd run it through our John Does. Sure enough, I hooked him; perfect dental match. He was a floater, a couple of fishermen picked him up. No ID, never solved. Until now, that is.
:'''Finch''': William Rookwood is dead?
:'''Captain Clark''': I'd say so. 20 years now.
:''[we then see a shot of Rookwood's face, revealed to be a mask used by V]''
:'''Finch''': GOD DAMMIT!! That son of a bitch sat there and spoon-fed me that bullshit, and I ate it up!!
:'''Dominic''': So what do we do now, Inspector?
:'''Finch''': We do what we should've been doing. We find him!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Sutler''': Every day, gentlemen. Every day that brings us closer to November. Every day that man remains free is one more failure! 347 days, gentlemen! 347 failures!
:'''Creedy''': Chancellor, we do not have the adequate force to...
:'''Sutler''': '''WE ARE BEING ''BURIED'' BENEATH THE ''AVALANCHE'' OF YOUR INADEQUACIES, MR CREEDY!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sutler''': I want anyone caught with one of those masks arrested!
:'''Convenience Store V''': Give me the money! Give me the fucking money!
:'''Dominic''': We're under siege here. The whole city's gone mad.
:'''Finch''': That's exactly what he wants. 
:'''Dominic''': What?
:'''Convenience Store V''': Anarchy in the UK! ''[fires shots into the air, then escapes with the money]''
:'''Finch''': Chaos.
:'''Sutler''': Mr Creedy, I am holding you personally responsible for this situation.
:''[we soon go to a new scene, where Creedy is revealed to have accepted his earlier deal with V.]''
:'''Finch''': The problem is that he knows us better than we know ourselves. That's why I went to Larkhill last night.
:'''Dominic''': That's outside quarantine.
:'''Finch''': I had to see it. There wasn't much left. But when I was there it was strange – I suddenly had this feeling that everything was connected. It was like I could see the whole thing; one long chain of events that stretched back to before Larkhill. I felt like I could see everything that had happened, and everything that was going to happen. It was like a perfect pattern, laid out in front of me, and I realised that we were all part of it, and all trapped by it.
:'''Dominic''': So do you know what's going to happen?
:'''Finch''': No. It was a feeling. But I can guess. With so much chaos, someone will do something stupid. And when they do, things will turn nasty.
:''[A young girl wearing one of V's Guy Fawkes mask is shown being shot and killed by a secret police officer. Angry people surround and attack him, undeterred by his badge or gun.]''
:'''Finch''': And then, Sutler will be forced do the only thing he knows how to do. At which point, all V needs to do is keep his word. And then...
:''[V causes his completed dominoes to fall. During this, a martial-law like world is shown, with people attacking police and military vehicles.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sutler''': Tonight, I will speak directly to these people and make the situation perfectly clear to them. The security of this nation depends on complete and total compliance! Tonight, ''any'' protester, ''any'' instigator or agitator, '''WILL MADE EXAMPLE OF!'''
:'''Dascombe''': ''[clears throat]'' Chancellor, there is a contingency that has not been addressed.
:'''Sutler''': And what is ''that'', Mr Dascombe?
:'''Dascombe''': Should the terrorist succeed...?
:'''Sutler''': He won't.
:'''Dascombe''': I understand that it is highly unlikely, but if he does...?
:'''Sutler''': If he does, and something happens to that building, the only thing that will change, the only difference that it will make, is that tomorrow morning, instead of a newspaper, I will be reading '''MR CREEDY'S RESIGNATION!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dominic''': I went by Parliament. Never seen anything like it — tanks, anti-aircraft, infantry — it makes you wish that no-one would show up tonight. But if they do, what do you think will happen?
:'''Finch''': What usually happens when people ''without'' guns stand up to people ''with'' guns. Pull over here.
:'''Dominic''': We've been searching these tunnels for weeks. You really think we're going to find him now? ''[they pull up outside Charing Cross station. Finch gets out of the car.]'' Inspector? It's all gone wrong, hasn't it?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''V''': ''[confronting a helpless Sutler]'' At last, we finally meet. I have something for you, Chancellor. A farewell gift. For all the things you've done, for the things you might have done, and for the only thing you have left. ''[places a rose in Sutler's coat]'' Goodbye, Chancellor. Mr Creedy? 
:'''Creedy''': ''[as Sutler whimpers and blubbers in terror]'' Disgusting. ''[executes Sutler with his revolver]'' Now that's done with. It's time to have a look at your face. Take off your mask.
:'''V''': No.
:''[Creedy nods and two Fingermen approach V; one tries to remove his mask, but V kills them both]''
:'''Creedy''': Defiant to the end, huh? Oh, you won't cry like him, will you? You're not afraid of death. You're like me.
:'''V''': The only thing that you and I have in common, Mr Creedy, is we're both about to die.
:'''Creedy''': ''[scoffs]'' How do you imagine that's going to happen?
:'''V''': With my hands around your neck.
:'''Creedy''': Bollocks. What are you going to do, huh? We've swept this place. You've got ''nothing.'' Nothing but your bloody knives and your fancy karate gimmicks. We have ''guns!''
:'''V''': No, what you have are bullets, and the hopes that when your guns are empty, I'm no longer standing. Because if I am, you'll all be dead before you've reloaded.
:'''Creedy''': That's impossible! [''Raises his revolver and thumbs back the hammer''] Kill him.
:''[Creedy and his men open fire on V. After their guns are empty, with many rounds fired, V stand half-bowed, but then straightens and inhales deeply]''
:'''V''': My turn.
:''[V swiftly kills all of Creedy's remaining men with his knives, while Creedy frantically reloads his revolver]''
:'''Creedy''': ''[Starts shooting the approaching V]'' Die! ''Die!'' Why won't you die?! ''[His gun clicks empty]'' Why won't you die?
:'''V''': ''[Gasping]'' Beneath this mask, there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask, there is an ''idea'', Mr Creedy. And ideas are bulletproof!
:''[V grabs Creedy by the throat, lifts him up and pins him to the fence, and breaks his neck. Dropping the corpse, he removes an armored breastplate, now full of bullet holes, that he had been wearing under his clothes. He staggers away, bleeding heavily.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Evey and Finch stand watching Parliament erupt in explosions of fireworks while the'' 1812 Overture ''plays over the loudspeakers]''
:'''Finch''': Who was he?
:'''Evey''': He was [[w:Edmond Dantès|Edmond Dantès]]. And he was my father. And my mother... my brother... my friend. He was you, and me. He was all of us.

{{Misattributed begin}}

== Quoted from other sources ==
[[File:GuysSparkler.JPG|thumb|right|Remember, Remember&lt;br /&gt;The fifth of November,&lt;br /&gt;The gunpowder treason and plot.&lt;br /&gt;I know of no reason&lt;br /&gt;Why the gunpowder treason&lt;br /&gt;Should ever be forgot.]]
:&lt;small&gt;These statements, popularized in the film, are actually quotes from other sources. &lt;/small&gt;

* Remember, Remember ''or'' Please to remember&lt;br /&gt;The fifth of November,&lt;br /&gt;The gunpowder treason and plot.&lt;br /&gt;I know of no reason&lt;br /&gt;Why the gunpowder treason&lt;br /&gt;Should ever be forgot.
** Traditional English verse recited for [[Guy Fawkes]] Night

* The multiplying villainies of nature do swarm upon him...&lt;br /&gt;''[skipping four of the original lines]'' Disdaining fortune with his brandished steel, which smoked with bloody execution...
** [[William Shakespeare]], in ''[[Macbeth]]'' 1.2.17-18

* We are oft to blame in this. 'Tis too much proved that with devotion's visage and pious action we do sugar o'er the devil himself.'
** [[William Shakespeare]], in ''[[Hamlet]]'' 3.1.46-49

* I dare do all that may become a man; Who dares do more is none.
** [[William Shakespeare]], in ''[[Macbeth]]'' 1.7.47-48

* And thus I clothe my naked villainy&lt;br /&gt;With old odd ends, stol'n forth of holy writ;&lt;br /&gt;And seem a saint, when most I play the devil.
** [[William Shakespeare]], in  ''[[Richard III (play)|Richard III]]'' 1.3.336-38

* Conceal me what I am, and be my aid&lt;br /&gt;For such disguise as haply shall become&lt;br /&gt;The form of my intent.
** [[William Shakespeare]], in ''[[Twelfth Night]]'' 1.2.53-55
{{Misattributed end}}

== Quotes about ''V for Vendetta'' ==
[[File:VSymbol1.png|thumb|V has a [[totalitarian]] state to overthrow, and only a year to do it in, and we watch as he improvises a [[revolution]]. ~ [[Roger Ebert]] ]] 
[[File:Circle-A red.svg|thumb|right|One powerful theme centers on the notion that ideas live forever, their power undiminished even as those who espouse them die. ~ Claudia Puig]]
* '''There are ideas in this film.''' The most pointed is V's belief: &quot;People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.&quot; I am not sure V has it right; surely in the ideal state governments and their people should exist happily together. '''Fear in either direction must lead to violence. But V has a totalitarian state to overthrow, and only a year to do it in, and we watch as he improvises a revolution.'''
** [[Roger Ebert]], in [http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/v-for-vendetta-2006 ''Chicago Sun-Times'' (16 March 2006)]

* '''Brutal, audacious and very slippery, ''V for Vendetta'' is the ballsiest major studio release I've ever seen'''… ''Vendetta'' is as rousing, engaging and devious as only the best propaganda can be — '''a call to rebellion that dares to question our respect for authority and gives us a masked terrorist and his manipulated prodigy as our heroes.''' And unlike other political thrillers that seem content to simply wallow their dissatisfaction with the state of the world, ''Vendetta'' demands that we take personal responsibility for our actions and for the administrations that we allow to come into power... ''Vendetta'' is a thematic powderkeg... Straight up, this is as invigorating, challenging and moving a film as one can hope to expect, especially from a major studio (and the first). Don't miss the movie of the year.
**[http://web.archive.org/web/20080523185920/http://www.freezedriedmovies.com/review.php?id=338 Brian Buzz Juergens at freezedriedmovies.com]

* '''The dark and stylized ''V for Vendetta'' is visually exhilarating, provocative and disturbing.''' Set in a slightly futuristic world (London in 2020), ''Vendetta'' is an action thriller that also stimulates thought... '''Despite its disparate influences, ''Vendetta'' feels captivatingly original.''' The multilayered film can be appreciated strictly as an action thriller or for its deeper message about personal responsibility, political oppression and revolutionary change. '''One powerful theme centers on the notion that ideas live forever, their power undiminished even as those who espouse them die.'''
** [http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/reviews/2006-03-15-v-for-vendetta_x.htm Claudia Puig at ''USA Today'']

* It seemed to me the two more absolute extremes were anarchy and fascism. This was one of the things I objected to in the recent film, where it seems to be, from the script that I read, sort of recasting it as current American neo-conservatism vs. current American liberalism. There wasn't a mention of anarchy as far as I could see. The fascism had been completely defanged. I mean, I think that any references to racial purity had been excised, whereas actually, fascists are quite big on racial purity.
:* [[Alan Moore]] [http://web.archive.org/web/20060404210249/http://www.comicon.com/thebeat/2006/03/a_for_alan_pt_1_the_alan_moore.html]

==Taglines==
* An uncompromising vision of the future from the creators of the Matrix trilogy.
* People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.
* Remember, remember the 5th of November.
* FREEDOM! FOREVER!
* Strength through unity, unity through faith!
* England prevails.
* Ideas are bulletproof.

==Cast==
* [[Natalie Portman]] – Evey Hammond 
* [[Hugo Weaving]] – V
* [[w:Stephen Rea|Stephen Rea]] – Eric Finch
* [[Stephen Fry]] – Gordon Dietrich
* [[w:John Hurt|John Hurt]] – Chancellor Adam Sutler

== External links ==
{{wikipedia-inline}}&lt;br&gt;{{commonscat-inline|V for Vendetta}}
*{{imdb title|id=0434409|title=V for Vendetta}}
*{{rotten-tomatoes| id=v_for_vendetta |title=V for Vendetta}}

{{V for Vendetta}}

[[Category:2006 films]]
[[Category:Political drama films]]
[[Category:Dystopian films]]
[[Category:Post-apocalyptic films]]
[[Category:Films based on works by Alan Moore]]
[[Category:Journalist films]]
[[Category:Screenplays by The Wachowskis]]
[[Category:Films set in London]]
[[Category:Films about terrorism]]
[[Category:Conspiracy films]]
[[Category:Films about revenge]]
[[Category:Action thriller films]]</text>
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      <text bytes="63317" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title|''V for Vendetta'' (film)}}
[[File:V for Vendetta film.jpg|thumb| ''Vi veri veniversum vivus vici'' — By the [[power]] of [[truth]], I while living have [[conquered]] the [[universe]].]] 

[[File:Anonymous.jpg|thumb|right|This visage, no mere veneer of [[vanity]], is a vestige of the [[w:vox populi|vox populi]], now vacant, vanished.]]
'''''[[w:V for Vendetta (film)|V for Vendetta]]''''' is a [[w:2006 in film|2006 film drama]] set in a [[w:Dystopia|dystopian]] future United Kingdom, where [[w:V (comics)|V]], a mysterious radical [[anarchism|anarchist]] wearing a [[Guy Fawkes]] costume, works to bring down an oppressive [[fascist]] government, profoundly affecting the people he encounters. It was released in theatres March 17, 2006.
:''Directed by [[w:James McTeigue|James McTeigue]]. Written by [[w:Lilly Wachowski|Lilly (then Andy) Wachowski]] and [[w:Lana Wachowski|Lana (then Larry) Wachowski]], and adapted from the graphic novel ''[[V for Vendetta]]'' by [[Alan Moore]] and [[w:David Lloyd|David Lloyd]]. 
{{center|'''Remember, remember the 5th of November.''' &lt;small&gt;([[#taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

==V==
[[File:Principal cast of V for Vendetta.jpg|thumb|While the truncheon may be used in lieu of [[conversation]], [[words]] will always retain their [[power]]. Words offer the means to [[meaning]], and for those who will [[listen]], the enunciation of [[truth]].]]

* V: ''Voilà!'' In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the ''vox populi'', now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! (carves the letter V in sign with his sword) The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. (Laughs wheezily) Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.
** V's Introduction To Evey

* V: Good evening, London. Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of everyday routine, the security of the familiar, the tranquillity of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, whereby those important events of the past, usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle, are celebrated with a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the fifth, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat. There are, of course, those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well, certainly, there are those who are more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable. But again, truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. They were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic, you turned to the now high chancellor, Adam Sutler. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent. Last night, I sought to end that silence. Last night, I destroyed the Old Bailey to remind this country of what it has forgotten. More than four hundred years ago, a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words; they are perspectives. So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you, then I would suggest that you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me, one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot.
** V's Speech To England

*V: Our story begins, as these stories often do, with a young, up-and-coming politician. He's a deeply religious man and a member of the Conservative Party. He's completely single-minded and has no regard for the political process. The more power he attains, the more obvious his zealotry and the more aggressive his supporters become. Eventually, his party launches a special project in the name of ''&quot;national security&quot;''. At first, it's believed to be a search for biological weapons and is pursued without regard to its cost. However, the true goal of this project is power, complete and total hegemonic domination. The project, however, ends violently; but the efforts of those involved are not in vain, for a new ability to wage war is born from the blood of one of the victims. Imagine a virus, the most terrifying virus you can, and then imagine that you, and you alone, have the cure. But if your ultimate goal is power, how best to use such a weapon? It's at this point in our story that along comes a spider. He is a man seemingly without a conscience, for whom the ends always justify the means, and it is he who suggests that their target should not be an enemy of the country but rather the country itself. Three targets are chosen to maximise the effect of the attack: a school, a tube station, and a water treatment plant. Several hundred die within the first few weeks. Fueled by the media, fear and panic spread quickly, fracturing and dividing the country until, at last, the true goal comes into view. Before the St Mary's crisis, no-one would have predicted the results of the election that year. ''No-one''. And then, not long after the election, lo and behold, a miracle. Some believe it was the work of God himself, but it was a pharmaceutical company controlled by certain party members that made them all obscenely rich. A year later, several extremists are tried, found guilty, and executed, while a memorial is built to canonise their victims. But the end result, the true genius of the plan, was the ''fear''. Fear became the ultimate tool of this government, and through it, our politician was ultimately appointed to the newly-created position of high chancellor. The rest, as they say, is history.
** V's story to Inspector Finch, disguised as William Rookwood

* ''Vi veri veniversum vivus vici''
** By the power of truth, I while living have conquered the universe.

==Evey Hammond==
[[File:Quiosc V de Vendetta.jpg|thumb|right|[[Artists]] use [[lies]] to tell the [[truth]], while [[politicians]] use them to cover the truth up.]]

* &quot;[[Remember]], remember &lt;br /&gt;  The fifth of November &lt;br /&gt; The gunpowder treason and plot. &lt;br /&gt; I know of no reason &lt;br /&gt; Why the gunpowder treason &lt;br /&gt; Should ever be forgot.&quot; &lt;br /&gt; But what of the man? I know his name was [[Guy Fawkes]], and I know that, in 1605, he attempted to blow up the houses of Parliament. But who was he really? What was he like? We are told to remember the idea, not the man, because a man can fail. He can be caught. He can be killed and forgotten. But four hundred years later an idea can still change the world. I've witnessed first-hand the power of ideas. I've seen people kill in the name of them, and die defending them. But you cannot kiss an idea, cannot touch it, or hold it. Ideas do not bleed. They do not feel pain. They do not love. And it is not an idea that I miss, it is a man. A man that made me remember the fifth of November. A man that I will never forget.
* Are you like a ''[[crazy]] person''?
** ''After V has just saved her from the Fingermen and finished his verbose introduction''
* God is in the rain.
* A fake ID works a lot better than a Guy Fawkes mask.
* I worried about myself for a while. But one day I was at a market and a friend, someone I'd worked with at the BTN, got in line behind me. I was so nervous that when the cashier asked me for my money I dropped it. My friend picked it up and handed it to me. She looked me right in the eye and didn't recognise me. I guess whatever you did to me worked better than I'd ever have imagined.
* No-one will ever forget that night, and what it meant to this country. But I will never forget the man, and what he meant to me.
* I remember them arguing at night. Mum wanted to leave the country. Dad refused. He said if we ran away, they would win. Win, like it was a game.
* Artists use lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to cover the truth up.
* I wish I believed that was possible. But every time I've seen this world change, it's always been for the worse.

==Valerie Page==
[[File:Rose-on-music-book-on-piano.jpg|thumb|right|I [[hope]] that the [[world]] turns and things get better. But I hope most of all that you [[understand]], that even though I will never meet you, [[laugh]] with you, [[cry]] with you, or [[kiss]] you, I [[love]] you. With [[all]] my [[heart]], I love you.]]

* I know there's no way I can convince you this is not one of their tricks, but I don't care; I am me. My name is Valerie. I don't think I'll live much longer, and I wanted to tell someone about my life. This is the only autobiography I'll ever write, and God - I'm writing it on toilet paper. I was born in Nottingham in 1985. I don't remember much of those early years, but I do remember the rain. My grandmother owned a farm in Tuttlebrook, and she used to tell me that God was in the rain. I passed my 11th lesson into girl's grammar. It was at school that I met my first girlfriend. Her name was Sara. It was her wrists. They were beautiful. I thought we would love each other forever. I remember our teacher telling us that it was an adolescent phase people outgrew. Sara did. I didn't. In 2002, I fell in love with a girl named Christina. That year I came out to my parents. I couldn't have done it without Chris holding my hand. My father wouldn't look at me; he told me to go and never come back. My mother said nothing. But I had only told them the truth. Was that so selfish? Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us, but within that inch, we are free.
* I'd always known what I wanted to do with my life, and in 2015 I starred in my first film, ''The Salt Flats''. It was the most important role in my life, not because of my career, but because that was how I met Ruth. The first time we kissed, I knew I never wanted to kiss any other lips but hers again. We moved to a small flat in London together. She grew scarlet carsons for me in our window box, and our place always smelled of roses. Those were the best years of my life. But America's war grew worse and worse … and eventually came to London. After that, there were no roses anymore. Not for anyone.
* I remember how the meaning of words began to change. How unfamiliar words like &quot;collateral&quot; and &quot;rendition&quot; became frightening, while things like Norsefire and the Articles of Allegiance became powerful. I remember how different became dangerous. I still don't understand it, why they hate us so much. They took Ruth while she was out buying food. I've never cried so hard in my life. It wasn't long till they came for me. It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years, I had roses and apologised to no-one. I shall die here. Every inch of me will perish. Every inch but one. An inch … it is small, and it is fragile, but it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us. I hope that, whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. Valerie.

==Delia Surridge==

:''[Notes from her covert journal, whom Finch reads]''

*May 23. My first batch of subjects arrived today, and I have to admit that I am very excited. This could be the dawn of a new age. Nuclear power is meaningless in a world where a virus can kill an entire population and leave its wealth intact...
*May 27. Commander Prothero toured the lab with a priest, Father Lilliman, who I was told is here to monitor for rules and rights violations. It made me nervous, but the commander assured me there wouldn't be a problem.
*June 2. I kept wondering if these people knew how they might be helping their country if they would act any differently. They're so weak and pathetic. They never look you in the eye. I find myself hating them.
*August the 18th. Of the original four dozen, over 75 per cent are now deceased. No controllable pattern has yet emerged.
*September the 18th. There is one case that continues to give me hope. He exhibits none of the immune system pathologies the other subjects developed. I've discovered cellular anomalies in his blood that I've been unable to categorise. The mutations seem to have triggered the abnormal development of basic kinaesthesia and reflexes. The subject said he could no longer remember who he was or where he was from. Whoever he was, he is now the key to our dream and the hope that all of this will not have been in vain.
*November the 5th. It started last night, around midnight. The first explosions tore open the entire medical section. All my work, gone. I was trying to understand how it could've happened when I saw him. The man from room five. He looked at me. Not with eyes. There were no eyes. But I know he was looking at me because I felt it.
*Oh my God...''what have I done?''

==Lewis Prothero==

* So I read that the former United States is so desperate for medical supplies that they have allegedly sent several containers filled with wheat and tobacco. A gesture, they said, of goodwill. You want to know what I think? Well, you're listening to my show, so I will assume you do. I think it's high time we let the colonies know what we really think of them. I think it's payback time for a little tea party they threw for us a few hundred years ago. I say we go down to those docks tonight and dump that crap where everything from the Ulcered Sphincter of Arse-erica belongs. Who's with me? Who's ''bloody'' with me? Did you like that? USA; Ulcered Sphincter of Arse-erica. I mean, what else can you say? Here was a country that had everything, absolutely ''everything'', and now, 20 years later, is ''what''? The world's biggest leper colony. Why? Godlessness. Let me say that again: ''Godlessness''. It wasn't the war they started. It wasn't the plague ''they'' created. It was ''judgement''. No-one escapes their past. No-one escapes judgement. You think He's not up there? You think He's not watching over this country? How else can you explain it? He tested us, but we came through. We did what we had to do. Islington, Enfield. I was there. I saw it all. Immigrants, Muslims, homosexuals, terrorists, ''disease-ridden degenerates. They had to go!'' '''Strength through unity, unity through faith!''' I'm a God-fearing Englishman and I am god-''damn'' proud of it!
** First BTN Speech

*I'll tell you what I know, I'll tell you what I know, I'll tell you what I know, '''''England prevails!'''''
** The only part of his second BTN speech ever seen or heard.

*I'll tell you what I know. I know '''this is not a man. A man does not wear a mask. A man does not threaten innocent civilians.''' He's what ''every'' gutless, freedom-hating terrorist is: '''a god-damn coward!'''
** First part of his third BTN speech

*There will be no negotiation, Roger. When I arrive in the morning, the Paddy will be gone. I'm looking at the tape right now, and he has no idea how to light me. My nose looks like Big fucking Ben! Listen to me, you bleeding sod. England prevails because ''I'' say it does! And so does every lazy cunt on this show, and that includes ''you''! Find another DOP, or find yourself another job!
** Phone call to Roger Dascombe

*I'll tell you what I wish: '''I wish I'd been there.''' I wish I'd had the chance for a face-to-face. ''Just one chance,'' that's all I need.
** Second part of his third BTN speech, before V breaks into his home

*This so-called &quot;V&quot; and his accomplice, Evey Hammond, neo-demagogues, spouting their message of hate. A delusional and aberrant voice, ''delivering a terrorist's ultimatum''. An ultimatum that was met with swift and surgically precise ''justice''. And the moral of this story, ladies and gentlemen, is: '''''&quot;GOOD GUYS WIN, BAD GUYS LOSE, AND AS ALWAYS, ENGLAND PREVAILS!&quot;'''''
** Third and final part of his third BTN speech

==High Chancellor Adam Sutler==

* My fellow Englishmen: tonight, our country, that which we stand for, and all we hold dear, faces a grave and terrible threat. This violent and unparalleled assault on our security will not go undefended. Or unpunished. Our enemy is an insidious one, seeking to divide us and destroy the very foundation of our great nation. Tonight, we must remain steadfast. We must remain determined. But most of all, we must remain united. Those caught tonight in violation of curfew will be considered in league with our enemy and prosecuted as a terrorist without leniency or exception. Tonight, I give you my most solemn vow: that justice will be ''swift'', it will be ''righteous'', and ''it will be without mercy''!

==Dialogue==
[[File:Dark Rosaleen Anarchy 1.svg|thumb|right|There are no coincidences, Delia. Only the [[illusion]] of [[coincidence]].]]
[[File:Norsefire.svg|thumb|right|Those caught tonight in violation of curfew will be considered in league with our [[enemy]] and prosecuted as a [[terrorist]] without leniency or exception.]]
[[File:Coalition of the Willing, To Power.svg|thumb|right|I suddenly had this feeling that everything was connected. It was like I could see the [[whole]] thing; one long chain of events that stretched back to before Larkhill. I felt like I could see everything that had happened, and everything that was going to happen…]]
[[File:Domino effect.jpg|thumb|right|With so much chaos, someone will do something [[stupid]]. And when they do, things will turn nasty. And then, Sutler will be forced do the only thing he knows how to do. At which point, all V needs to do is keep his word. And then...]]
[[File:Tom 500 nightfiring.jpg|thumb|right|What you have are bullets and the hopes that when your [[guns]] are empty, I'm no longer standing. Because if I am, you'll all be [[dead]] before you've reloaded.]]

:'''V''': I can assure you, I mean you no harm.
:'''Evey''': Who are you?
:'''V''': Who? Who is but the form, following the function of what, and what I am is a man in a mask.
:'''Evey''': Well, I can see that.
:'''V''': Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation, I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.
:'''Evey''': Oh, right.
:'''V''': But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona.
:''V: Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valourous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! (carves V in sign with sword) The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. (Laughs wheezily) Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V.
:'''Evey''': Are you like a crazy person?
:'''V''': I am quite sure they will say so. But to whom may I ask am I speaking?
:'''Evey''': I'm Evey.
:'''V''': Evey? E-V — of course you are.
:'''Evey''': What do you mean by that?
:'''V''': It means I, like [[God]], do not [[play]] with [[dice]], and do not [[believe]] in [[coincidence]]. Are you hurt?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Sutler''': Gentlemen, you have had four hours, you had better have results. Mr Creedy?
:'''Peter Creedy''': The Bailey area is quarantined, and all significant witnesses have been detained.
:'''Sutler''': Good. Mr Etheridge?
:'''Brian Etheridge''': A recording device was found wired into the central emergency broadcast system. The DCD was [[w:Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky|Tchaikovsky]]'s ''[[w:1812 Overture|1812 Overture]]''.
:'''Sutler''': Add it to the blacklist. I never want to hear that music again.
:'''Etheridge''': Yes, sir. We also doubled our random sweeps and are monitoring a lot of phone surveillance, indicating a high percentage of conversation concerned with the explosion.
:'''Sutler''': Mr Dascombe, what are we doing about that?
:'''Roger Dascombe''': We're calling it an &quot;emergency demolition&quot;. We have spin coverage on the network and throughout the InterLink, and several experts have been lined up to testify against the Bailey's structural integrity.
:'''Sutler''': I want Prothero to speak tonight on the dangers of these old buildings and how we must avoid clinging to the edifice of a decadent past. He should conclude that the New Bailey will become the symbol of our time and the future that our conviction has rewarded us. Mr Heyer?
:'''Conrad Heyer''': Our surveillance cameras captured several images of the terrorist, though the mask obviously makes retinal identification impossible. We also managed to get a photo of the girl that Creedy's men were detaining.
:'''Sutler''': Who is she, Mr Finch?
:'''Eric Finch''': Not sure, yet, sir, but we're working on several leads.
:'''Sutler''': Anything else?
:'''Finch''': We located the fireworks launch and found traces of the explosives used at both sites. Unfortunately, it appears that despite the heavy level of sophistication, these devices were homemade with over-the-counter chemicals, making them very difficult to trace. Whoever he is, Chancellor, he is very good.
:'''Sutler''': Spare us your professional annotations, Mr Finch. They are irrelevant.
:'''Finch''': Apologies, Chancellor.
:'''Sutler''': Gentlemen, this is a test. Moments such as these are matters of faith. To fail is to invite doubt into everything we believe, everything that we have fought for. Doubt will plunge this country back into chaos and I ''will not let that happen''. Gentlemen, I want this terrorist found, and I want him to understand what ''terror'' really means. England prevails!
:'''Party leaders''': England prevails.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[just as the Old Bailey demolition report is broadcast]''
:'''Patricia''': You think people will buy this?
:'''Dascombe''': Well, why not? This is the BTN. Our job is to report the news, not fabricate it. That's the government's job.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Dominic Stone is driving Finch to Jordan Tower to find Evey, while he looks her up.]''
:'''Finch''': This looks serious. Her parents were political activists. They were detained when she was 12.
:'''Dominic''': What happened to her?
:'''Finch''': Juvenile reclamation project. For five years. We're going to need back-up, but keep it minimal.
:'''Dominic''': You sure about that, sir?
:'''Finch''': I just want a chance to talk to her before she disappears into one of Creedy's black bags.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Evey''': What is this place?
:'''V''': It's my home. I call it the Shadow Gallery.
:'''Evey''': It's beautiful...where did you get all this stuff?
:'''V''': Oh, here and there. Most of it from the vaults of the Ministry of Objectionable Materials.
:'''Evey''': You stole them?
:'''V''': Oh, heavens, no. Stealing implies ownership. You can't steal from the censor; I merely reclaimed them. 
:'''Evey''': God, if they ever find this place...
:'''V''': I suspect if they do find this place, a few bits of art will be the least of my worries.
:'''Evey''': You mean, after what you've done? God, what have I done? I Maced that detective. Why did I do that?
:'''V''': You did what you thought was right.
:'''Evey''': No. I shouldn't have done that. I must have been out of my mind.
:'''V''': Is that what you really think, or what they would want you to think?
:'''Evey''': I think I should go.
:'''V''': May I ask where?
:'''Evey''': Home. I have to go home.
:'''V''': You said they were looking for you. If they know where you work, they certainly know where you live.
:'''Evey''': I have friends. I could stay with them.
:'''V''': I'm afraid that won't work either. Now, you have to understand, Evey. I don't want this for either of us, but I couldn't see any other way. You were unconscious, and I had to make a decision. If I had left you there, right now, you'd be in one of Creedy's interrogation cells. They'd imprison you, torture you, and, in all probability, kill you in the pursuit of finding me. After what you did, I couldn't let that happen, so I picked you up and carried you to the only place I knew you'd be safe: here, to my home.
:'''Evey''': I won't tell anyone, I swear. You know you can trust me.
:'''V''': I'm sorry, but I can't take that risk.
:'''Evey''': But I don't even know where this is. We could be anywhere.
:'''V''': You know it's underground. You know the colour of the stone. That'd be enough for a clever man.
:'''Evey''': What are you saying? That I have to stay here?
:'''V''': Only until I'm done. After the 5th, I no longer think it'll matter.
:'''Evey''': You mean, a year from now? I have to stay ''here'' for a year?
:'''V''': Sorry, Evey. I didn't know what else to do.
:'''Evey''': You should have left me alone! '''WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A shot of an Egg in the Basket over a frying pan zooms out to V's scarred hands holding the pan. Evey wakes up to Stan Getz, Tom Jobim, João Gilberto, and Astrud Gilberto's &quot;[[w:The Girl from Ipanema|The Girl from Ipanema]]&quot;]''
:'''Evey''': V?
:'''V''': Ah. ''Bonjour, mademoiselle.''
:'''Evey''': I just wanted to apologise for my reaction last night. ''[V just nods]'' I understand what you did for me, and I wanted you to know I am grateful. ''[turns attention to V's scarred hands]'' Your hands!
:'''V''': ''[notices his hands, which were un-gloved]'' Yes. ''[puts gloves back on]'' There. That's better. I hope I didn't put you off your appetite.
:'''Evey''': No, please. It's just — are you all right?
:'''V''': Oh, yes, yes. Yes, I'm fine.
:'''Evey''': Can I ask what happened?
:'''V''': ''[hesitates for a moment]'' There was a fire. A long time ago. Ancient history for some. Not really very good table conversation. Now, would you care for a cup of tea with your egg?
:'''Evey''': Yes, thank you. I'm starving, actually.
:'''V''': Have a seat.
:''[Evey approaches the table, sits down, and eats the dish.]
:'''Evey''': Mmm. It's delicious!
:'''V''': Mmm. Good.
:'''Evey''': God, I haven't had real butter since I was a little girl. Where did you get it?
:'''V''': A government supply train on its way to Chancellor Sutler.
:'''Evey''': ''[chokes]'' You stole this from Chancellor Sutler!?
:'''V''': ''[nonchalantly]'' Yes.
:'''Evey''': You're insane!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Evey''': Can I ask about what you said on the telly?
:'''V''': Yes.
:'''Evey''': Did you mean it?
:'''V''': Every word.
:'''Evey''': You really think that blowing up parliament is going to make this country a better place?
:'''V''': There's no certainty, only opportunity.
:'''Evey''': I think you can be pretty certain that if anyone does show up, Creedy will black-bag everyone of them.
:'''V''': People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.
:'''Evey''': And you are going to make that happen by blowing up a building?
:'''V''': The building is a symbol, as is the act of destroying it. Symbols are given power by the people. Alone, a symbol is meaningless, but with enough people, blowing up a building can change the world.
:'''Evey''': I wish I believed that was possible, but every time I've seen the world change it's always been for the worse.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prothero''': Holy Christ! Jesus--! ''[slips and falls to the floor]''
:'''V''': Good evening, Commander Prothero.
:'''Prothero''': Oh God! How did you get in here?!
:'''V''': Don't worry; I've made sure our reunion won't be disturbed by any pesky late-night phone calls, Commander.
:'''Prothero''': Stop that! Why do you keep calling me that?
:'''V''': That was your title, remember? When we first met, all those years ago. You wore a uniform in those days.
:'''Prothero''': ''[After some flashbacks of his time at Larkhill, including the fire, he figures out V as the man from Room 5]'' ''You.'' It ''is'' you!
:'''V''': The Ghost of Christmas Past.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Evey''': V, yesterday I couldn't find my ID. You didn't take it, did you?
:'''V''': Would you prefer a lie or the truth?
:'''Evey''': ''[stands, gesturing toward the TV, which has just finished an announcement of Lewis Prothero's death]'' Did you have anything to do with that?
:'''V''': Yes, I killed him. 
:'''Evey''': You? Oh, God!
:'''V''': You're upset.
:'''Evey''': I'm upset? You just said you killed Lewis Prothero!
:'''V''': I might have killed the Fingermen who attacked you, but I heard no objection then. 
:'''Evey''': What?
:'''V''': Violence can be used for good.
:'''Evey''': What are you talking about?
:'''V''': Justice. 
:'''Evey''': Oh... I see.
:'''V''': There's no courtroom in this country for men like Prothero.
:'''Evey''': And are you going to kill more people?
:'''V''':  ''[nonchalantly]'' Yes.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Evey''': My father was a writer. You would've liked him. He used to say that artists use lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to cover the truth up. 
:'''V''': A man after my own heart.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Evey''': ''[reading inscription on mirror]'' ''[[w:Vi veri universum vivus vici|Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici]]''...
:'''V''': &quot;By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe&quot;.
:'''Evey''': Personal motto?
:'''V''': From ''[[Faust]]''.
:'''Evey''': That's about trying to cheat the devil, isn't it?
:'''V''': It is.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Delia''': ''[wakes in an apparently empty room]'' It's you, isn't it? You've come to kill me.
:'''V''': ''[from the shadows]'' Yes.
:'''Delia''': ''[lets out a sob]'' Thank God...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Delia''': After what happened, after what they did, I thought about killing myself. But I knew that one day you'd come for me. I didn't know what they were going to do. I swear to you. Read my journal.
:'''V''': What they did was only possible because of you.
:'''Delia''': [[w:Robert Oppenheimer|Oppenheimer]] was able to change more than the course of a war. He changed the entire course of human history. Is it wrong to hold on to that kind of hope?
:'''V''': I've not come for what you hoped to do. I've come for what you did.
:'''Delia''': It's funny. I was given one of your roses today. I wasn't sure you were the terrorist until I saw it. What a strange coincidence that I should be given one today.
:'''V''': There are no coincidences, Delia. Only the illusion of coincidence. I have another rose ''[takes one out]'', and this one is for you. ''[hands it to her]''
:'''Delia''': Are you going to kill me now?
:'''V''': I killed you ten minutes ago. ''[holds up a small hypodermic needle]'' While you slept.
:'''Delia''': ''[frightened]'' Is there any pain?
:'''V''': No.
:'''Delia''': Thank you. ''[pauses briefly]'' Is it meaningless to apologise?
:'''V''': Never.
:'''Delia''': ''[quietly]'' I'm ''so sorry''.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Finch''': The terrorist obviously wanted us to have it. He wanted us to know the whole story or at least a part of it.
:'''Sutler''': Am I to understand that you have read this document, inspector?
:'''Finch''': Yes, sir.
:'''Sutler''': Has anyone else read it, besides you?
:'''Finch''': No, sir.
:'''Sutler''': Then let me make this perfectly clear to you. The contents of this document are a matter of national security, constituting an assault on the character of several important party members as well as a blatant violation of the Articles of Allegiance. As the authenticity of this document cannot be verified, it could be an elaborate forgery created by the terrorist, as easily as it could be the deranged fantasy of a former party member who resigned for psychological reasons. Any discussion of this document or its contents will be regarded, at the very least, as an act of sedition, if not a willful act of treason. Is that understood, Mr Finch?
:'''Finch''': Yes, sir.
:'''Sutler''': You would do well, inspector, to put it out of your mind.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A shot of an Egg in the Basket over a frying pan zooms out to Gordon's hands holding the pan, reminiscent of V preparing the same dish. Evey wakes up to Stan Getz, Tom Jobim, João Gilberto, and Astrud Gilberto's &quot;[[w:Corcovado (song)|Corcovado]]&quot;. She had previously sought refuge at Gordon Deitrich's home after escaping from V]''
:'''Gordon''': ''Bonjour, mademoiselle.''
:'''Evey''': ''[puzzled]'' What is that you're making?
:'''Gordon''': We call it &quot;Eggie in the Basket&quot;. My mum used to make them.
:'''Evey''': This is weird.
:'''Gordon''': What?
:'''Evey''': The first morning I was with him, he made me eggs just like this.
:'''Gordon''': Really? 
:'''Evey''': I swear! 
:'''Gordon''': That is a strange coincidence. Although there's an obvious explanation.
:'''Evey''': There is?
:'''Gordon''': Yes, Evey. ''I'' am V. At last, you know the truth. ''[Evey looks incredulously at Gordon]'' You're stunned, I know. It's hard to believe, isn't it? That beneath this wrinkled, well-fed exterior, there lies a dangerous killing machine with a fetish for Fawkesian masks. ''¡Viva la revolución!''
:'''Evey''': That is not funny, Gordon.
:'''Gordon''': ''[sighs]'' Yes, I know. I'm useless without a studio audience. 
:'''Evey''': I've seen people go to jail for less than that.
:'''Gordon''': Of course. He was right, wasn't he? There ''is'' something wrong with this country.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Finch''': I want to ask a question, Dominic. I don't care if you answer me or not. I just want to say this aloud... The question I want to ask is about St Mary's and Three Waters. The question that's kept me up for the last 24 hours, the question I have to ask, is: What if the worst, the most horrifying, biological attack in this country's history was not the work of religious extremists?
:'''Dominic''': Well, I don't understand. We know it was. They were caught. They confessed.
:'''Finch''': And they were executed, I know. And maybe that's really what happened. But I see this chain of events, these coincidences... and I have to ask: What if that isn't what happened? What if someone else unleashed that virus? What if someone else killed all those people? Would you really want to know who it was?
:'''Dominic''': Sure.
:'''Finch''': Even if it was someone working for this government? That's my question. If our own government was responsible for what happened at St Mary's and Three Waters... if our own government was responsible for the deaths of almost a hundred thousand people... ''would you really want to know?''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Gordon pops a champagne bottle]''
:'''Evey''': What is this all about?
:'''Gordon''': I'm celebrating.
:'''Evey''': Celebrating what?
:'''Gordon''': I think this could be the best show we've ever done.
:'''Gordon''': ''[on the television]'' Very good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Listen. We've got an extraordinary show for you tonight. You're not going to believe it. As a matter of fact, I don't think I do. Would you please give a warm welcome to our own Chancellor Adam Sutler!
:''[&quot;God Save the Queen&quot; plays on the background as an impersonator of Adam Sutler enters]''
:'''Mother''': No way!
:'''Girl with Spectacles''': It can't be!
:'''Gordon''': We threw out the censor-approved script, and shot a new one I wrote this morning.
:'''Evey''': Oh, my god.
:''[Cuts to the audience applaud on being threatened by the fake Sutler's soldiers. Evey chokes on her champagne]''
:'''Gordon''': Chancellor, Chancellor, Chancellor. I understand you've been under tremendous strain lately since the beginning of this whole terrorism business, and we thought it would be a nice idea to try and help you relax. Girls?
:''[Deitrich's girls arrive with a humidor, from where the fake Sutler takes a cigar. Another girl offers him a glass of milk]''
:'''Fake Sutler''': Ah! Warm milk. There's nothing better.
:'''Gordon''': I understand you enjoy a glass every night, Chancellor.
:'''Fake Sutler''': Since I was a boy. ''[The real Sutler is shown sitting in his bunker while watching, holding a glass of milk]'' But you're wrong, Mr Deitrich. The terrorist was never a serious concern.
:'''Gordon''': (in background) Oh, really?
:''[A prankster dressed as V ties the fake Sutler's shoelaces together, whilst replacing his cigar with an exploding one]''
:'''Girl with Spectacles''': It's him!
:'''Gordon''': Chancellor, Chancellor, are you saying that he's not still alive and active?
:'''Fake Sutler''': The terrorist has been neutralised.
:''[The cigar explodes as the fake Sutler huffs from it.]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh, my God, Chancellor, look! The terrorist!
:'''Fake Sutler''': The terrorist! ''[The camera pans to the fake V among the musicians, scraping a washboard]'' Get him! ''[Sutler walks toward the fake V, but having been shoe-laced, stumbles.]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh, dear!
:''[As Boots Randolph's &quot;[[w:Yakety Sax|Yakety Sax]]&quot; plays, the show plays a sped-up chase of V, the girls, and the soldiers, while the fake Sutler still struggles to get off from being shoe-laced. An actor in a gorilla suit appears randomly and bangs his chest with his fists. Gordon then throws a banana peel, and the fake V slips on it, and is tackled by the fake Sutler's soldiers]'' 
:'''Fake Sutler:''' At last! And now, for all the world to see!
:''[The fake Sutler approaches the fake V, now restrained by the soldiers. He unmasks the fake V, who was revealed to be another Sutler impersonator]''
:'''Girl with Spectacles''': ''[As her mother gasps and shakes her head]'' It's ''him''!
:'''Fake V/Sutler''': Unhand me! ''I'' am your chancellor!
:''[A group of old men, who are watching the show, laugh out loud]''
:'''Fake Sutler''': How dare you! ''I'' am the chancellor!
:''[Gordon makes a funny act of confusion, pointing to one fake Sutler after the other]''
:'''Fake V/Sutler''': Imposter! ''[the two fake Sutlers tackle each other in a farcical fight. Gordon makes a funny act of sympathy before they get back up.]'' Soldiers! That man is the terrorist!
:'''Fake Sutler''': I order you to shoot that traitor!
:'''Fake V/Sutler''': Liar!
:'''Fake Sutler''': Faker!
:'''Fake V/Sutler''': Fraud!
:'''Fake Sutler''': Ready...
:'''Fake V/Sutler''': Aim...
:'''Fake Sutlers''': ''[together, as Gordon blocks his ears with his fingers in a funny act of fright]'' FIRE!
:''[The soldiers shoot both fake Sutlers. The curtain closes, the entire public is left laughing and as Gordon bows down to the clapping audience, another fake V sneaks in from the cyclorama, snickering as he holds a cigar. The real Sutler shatters the glass of milk in his hand as he watches]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Gordon is on the phone to his agent, after his satire of Norsefire is broadcast]''
:'''Gordon''': What are they going to do, fine us? Big deal. We've got the most-watched show on air! Well, you're my agent, that's what I pay you for. Protect me! ''[hangs up]'' I should have hired him years ago to be my mother.
:'''Evey''': You're mad!
:'''Gordon''': Either that or I wasn't breast-fed.
:'''Evey''': Is ''everything'' a joke to you, Gordon?
:'''Gordon''': Only the things that matter.
:'''Evey''': What if they come after you?
:'''Gordon''': I'll tell you what's going to happen. I'll have to make some kind of apology and do some boring fund-raiser, but in the meantime, our ratings will go ''through the roof.'' It'll be fine! Trust me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Interrogator''': Do you know why you're here, Evey Hammond?
:'''Evey''': No. Please...
:'''Interrogator''': You've been formally charged with three counts of murder, the bombing of government property, conspiracy to commit terrorism, treason, and sedition — the penalty for which is death by firing squad. You have one chance, and only one chance, to save your life. You must tell us the identity or whereabouts of code name V. If your information leads to his capture, you will be released from this facility immediately. Do you understand what I'm telling you? You can return to your life, Ms Hammond. All you have to do is co-operate. Process her.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Interrogator''': I am instructed to inform you that you have been convicted by special tribunal and that unless you are ready to offer your co-operation, you are to be executed. Do you understand what I'm telling you?
:'''Evey''': Yes.
:'''Interrogator''': Are you ready to co-operate?
:'''Evey''': No.
:'''Interrogator''': Very well. Escort Ms Hammond back to her cell. Arrange a detail of six men and take her out behind the chemical sheds and shoot her.
:''[Later, as Evey sits alone in her cell, holding Valerie Page's letter tightly, the door swings open.]''
:'''Guard''': It's time.
:'''Evey''': I'm ready.
:'''Guard''': ''[hesitates]'' Look, all they want is one little piece of information. Just give them something, ''anything''.
:'''Evey''': Thank you, but I'd rather die behind the chemical sheds.
:'''Guard''': Then you have no fear anymore. You're completely free.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Evey is allowed to leave her prison unexpectedly and finds she was actually in V's lair the whole time]''
:'''V''': ''[entering]'' Hello, Evey.
:'''Evey''': ..You...it was you...
:'''V''': ''[quietly]'' Yeah.
:'''Evey''': ''[gestures behind her]'' That wasn't real... Is Gordon — ?
:'''V''': I'm sorry, but Mr Deitrich's dead. I thought they'd arrest him, but when they found a Qur'an in his house, they had him executed. 
:'''Evey''': ''[whispers]'' Oh, God.
:'''V''': Fortunately, I got to you before they did. 
:'''Evey''': ''You'' got to me? You did this to me... You cut my hair... You tortured me... You tortured me! Why?
:'''V''': You said you wanted to live without fear. I wish there would have been an easier way, but there wasn't.
:'''Evey''': ''[whispers]'' Oh, my God!
:'''V''': I know you may never forgive me, but nor will you ever understand how hard it was for me to do what I did. Every day, I saw in myself everything you see in me now. Every day, I wanted to end it. But each time you refused to give in, I knew I couldn't.
:'''Evey''': ''[shouting angrily]'' You're sick! You're ''evil!''
:'''V''': You could have ended it, Evey. You could have given in, but you didn't. Why?
:'''Evey''': Leave me alone! '''I HATE YOU!'''
:'''V''': '''THAT'S IT!''' See, at first, I thought it was hate, too. Hate was all I knew. It built my world, imprisoned me, taught me how to eat, how to drink, how to ''breathe''! I thought I'd ''die'' with all the hate in my veins. But then something happened. It happened to me, just as it happened to you.
:'''Evey''': '''SHUT UP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR LIES!'''
:'''V''': Your own father said that artists use lies to tell the truth. Yes, I created a lie, but because you believed it, you found something true about yourself.
:'''Evey''': No...
:'''V''': What was true in that cell is just as true now. What you felt in there has nothing to do with me.
:'''Evey''': I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING ANYMORE!
:'''V''': Don't run from it, Evey. You've been running all your life.
:'''Evey''': ''[gasping heavily]'' I can't... can't breathe... Asthma... When I was little... ''[collapses while V catches her]''
:'''V''': Listen to me, Evey. This may be the most important moment of your life. Commit to it. They took your parents from you. They took your brother from you. They put you in a cell and took everything they could take except your life. And you believed that was all there was, didn't you? The only thing you had left was your life, but it wasn't, was it?
:'''Evey''': ''[sobbing]'' Oh... please...
:'''V''': You found something else. In that cell, you found something that mattered more to you than life. Because when they threatened to kill you unless you gave them what they wanted... you told them you'd rather die. You faced your death, Evey. You were calm. You were still. Try to feel now what you felt then.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''V''': What was done to me was monstrous!
:'''Evey''': Then they created a monster.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Heyer''': Chancellor, I know no-one seems to want to discuss this, but if we're to be prepared for any eventuality, then it can't be ignored any longer. The red report in front of you has been vetted by several demolition specialists. Now, it concludes that the most logical delivery system for the terrorist to use would be an airborne attack. A separate report has been filed suggesting a train, despite the fact that the tunnels surrounding Parliament have been sealed shut.
:'''Sutler''': Who filed that report?
:'''Heyer''': Chief Inspector Finch.
:'''Sutler''': Do you have any evidence to support this conclusion, Mr Finch?
:'''Finch''': No, sir, just a feeling.
:'''Sutler''': If I am sure of anything, Inspector Finch, it is that this government will not survive if it is to be subject to your feelings. Mr Dascombe, what we need right now is a clear message to the people of this country. This message must be read in every newspaper, heard on every radio, seen on every television. This message must resound throughout the ''entire'' InterLink! I want this country to realize that we stand on the edge of oblivion! I want every man, woman, and child to understand how close we are to chaos! '''I WANT EVERYONE TO REMEMBER WHY THEY NEED US!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[As V, disguised as William Rookwood, is found by Finch]''
:'''V''': ''[puts out a hand]'' That's close enough, inspector. ''[activates a debugger]''
:'''Finch''': We're not wired.
:'''V''': I'm sorry, but a man in my position survives by taking every precaution.
:'''Finch''': You've information for us?
:'''V''': No, you already have the information. All the names and dates are inside your head. What you want, what you really need, is a story.
:'''Finch''': A story can be true or false.
:'''V''': I leave such judgments to you, inspector.
:''[Later on]''
:'''Finch''': Can you prove any of this?
:'''V''': Why do you think I'm still alive?
:'''Finch''': Right. We'd like to take you into protective custody, Mr Rookwood.
:'''V''': Oh, I'm sure you would. But if you want that recording, you'll do what I tell you to do. Put Creedy under 24-hour surveillance. When I feel safe that he can't pick his nose without you knowing, I'll contact you again. Until then, cheerio.
:'''Finch''': Rookwood. Why didn't you come forward before? What were you waiting for?
:'''V''': Well, for you, inspector. I needed you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[two guards watch Creedy via CCTV, when the lights go out, V captures him and starts [[w:Ludwig van Beethoven|Ludwig van Beethoven]]'s'' [[w:Symphony No.5 (Beethoven)|Symphony No.5]] ''playing]''
:'''Guard #1''': What's he doing in the dark there?
:'''Guard #2''': Creepy Creedy. Not sure I want to know.
:'''V''': Sutler can no longer trust you, can he, Mr Creedy? And we both know why. After I destroy Parliament, his only chance will be to offer them someone else, some other piece of meat. And who will that be? You, Mr Creedy. A man as smart as you has probably considered this. A man as smart as you probably has a plan. That plan is the reason Sutler no longer trusts you. It's the reason you're being watched right now, why there are eyes and ears in every room of this house and a tap on every phone.
:'''Creedy''': Bollocks.
:'''V''': Oh, a man as smart as you, I think, knows otherwise.
:'''Creedy''': What do you want?
:'''V''': Sutler. Come now, Mr Creedy, you knew this was coming. You knew that one day, it'd be you or him. That's why Sutler's been kept underground for &quot;security purposes&quot;. That's why there are several of your men close to Sutler. Men that can be counted on. All you have to do is say the word.
:'''Creedy''': What do I get out of this deal?
:'''V''': Me. ''[lifts a chalk up to Creedy]'' If you accept, put an X on your front door.
:'''Creedy''': ''[lifts his hand to take the chalk]'' Why should I trust you?
:'''V''': Because it's the only way you're going to stop me.
:''[Creedy takes the chalk]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Dominic''': We've got Creedy pinned like a butterfly for weeks. Still no word; what's he waiting for?
:''[the phone rings, and Dominic answers it]
:'''Dominic''': Yeah? Inspector, it's for you.
:'''Finch''': ''[takes the phone]'' Yeah?
:'''Captain Clark''': Is that Chief Inspector Finch?
:'''Finch''': It is.
:'''Captain Clark''': This is Captain Clark of the 137th ward at Southend. We found him.
:'''Finch''': Found who?
:'''Captain Clark''': William Rookwood, the one you've been looking for. I saw your report a couple of weeks ago, thought I'd run it through our John Does. Sure enough, I hooked him; perfect dental match. He was a floater, a couple of fishermen picked him up. No ID, never solved. Until now, that is.
:'''Finch''': William Rookwood is dead?
:'''Captain Clark''': I'd say so. 20 years now.
:''[we then see a shot of Rookwood's face, revealed to be a mask used by V]''
:'''Finch''': GOD DAMMIT!! That son of a bitch sat there and spoon-fed me that bullshit, and I ate it up!!
:'''Dominic''': So what do we do now, Inspector?
:'''Finch''': We do what we should've been doing. We find him!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Sutler''': Every day, gentlemen. Every day that brings us closer to November. Every day that man remains free is one more failure! 347 days, gentlemen! 347 failures!
:'''Creedy''': Chancellor, we do not have the adequate force to...
:'''Sutler''': '''WE ARE BEING ''BURIED'' BENEATH THE ''AVALANCHE'' OF YOUR INADEQUACIES, MR CREEDY!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sutler''': I want anyone caught with one of those masks arrested!
:'''Convenience Store V''': Give me the money! Give me the fucking money!
:'''Dominic''': We're under siege here. The whole city's gone mad.
:'''Finch''': That's exactly what he wants. 
:'''Dominic''': What?
:'''Convenience Store V''': Anarchy in the UK! ''[fires shots into the air, then escapes with the money]''
:'''Finch''': Chaos.
:'''Sutler''': Mr Creedy, I am holding you personally responsible for this situation.
:''[we soon go to a new scene, where Creedy is revealed to have accepted his earlier deal with V.]''
:'''Finch''': The problem is that he knows us better than we know ourselves. That's why I went to Larkhill last night.
:'''Dominic''': That's outside quarantine.
:'''Finch''': I had to see it. There wasn't much left. But when I was there it was strange – I suddenly had this feeling that everything was connected. It was like I could see the whole thing; one long chain of events that stretched back to before Larkhill. I felt like I could see everything that had happened, and everything that was going to happen. It was like a perfect pattern, laid out in front of me, and I realised that we were all part of it, and all trapped by it.
:'''Dominic''': So do you know what's going to happen?
:'''Finch''': No. It was a feeling. But I can guess. With so much chaos, someone will do something stupid. And when they do, things will turn nasty.
:''[A young girl wearing one of V's Guy Fawkes mask is shown being shot and killed by a secret police officer. Angry people surround and attack him, undeterred by his badge or gun.]''
:'''Finch''': And then, Sutler will be forced do the only thing he knows how to do. At which point, all V needs to do is keep his word. And then...
:''[V causes his completed dominoes to fall. During this, a martial-law like world is shown, with people attacking police and military vehicles.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sutler''': Tonight, I will speak directly to these people and make the situation perfectly clear to them. The security of this nation depends on complete and total compliance! Tonight, ''any'' protester, ''any'' instigator or agitator, '''WILL MADE EXAMPLE OF!'''
:'''Dascombe''': ''[clears throat]'' Chancellor, there is a contingency that has not been addressed.
:'''Sutler''': And what is ''that'', Mr Dascombe?
:'''Dascombe''': Should the terrorist succeed...?
:'''Sutler''': He won't.
:'''Dascombe''': I understand that it is highly unlikely, but if he does...?
:'''Sutler''': If he does, and something happens to that building, the only thing that will change, the only difference that it will make, is that tomorrow morning, instead of a newspaper, I will be reading '''MR CREEDY'S RESIGNATION!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dominic''': I went by Parliament. Never seen anything like it — tanks, anti-aircraft, infantry — it makes you wish that no-one would show up tonight. But if they do, what do you think will happen?
:'''Finch''': What usually happens when people ''without'' guns stand up to people ''with'' guns. Pull over here.
:'''Dominic''': We've been searching these tunnels for weeks. You really think we're going to find him now? ''[they pull up outside Charing Cross station. Finch gets out of the car.]'' Inspector? It's all gone wrong, hasn't it?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''V''': ''[confronting a helpless Sutler]'' At last, we finally meet. I have something for you, Chancellor. A farewell gift. For all the things you've done, for the things you might have done, and for the only thing you have left. ''[places a rose in Sutler's coat]'' Goodbye, Chancellor. Mr Creedy? 
:'''Creedy''': ''[as Sutler whimpers and blubbers in terror]'' Disgusting. ''[executes Sutler with his revolver]'' Now that's done with. It's time to have a look at your face. Take off your mask.
:'''V''': No.
:''[Creedy nods and two Fingermen approach V; one tries to remove his mask, but V kills them both]''
:'''Creedy''': Defiant to the end, huh? Oh, you won't cry like him, will you? You're not afraid of death. You're like me.
:'''V''': The only thing that you and I have in common, Mr Creedy, is we're both about to die.
:'''Creedy''': ''[scoffs]'' How do you imagine that's going to happen?
:'''V''': With my hands around your neck.
:'''Creedy''': Bollocks. What are you going to do, huh? We've swept this place. You've got ''nothing.'' Nothing but your bloody knives and your fancy karate gimmicks. We have ''guns!''
:'''V''': No, what you have are bullets, and the hopes that when your guns are empty, I'm no longer standing. Because if I am, you'll all be dead before you've reloaded.
:'''Creedy''': That's impossible! [''Raises his revolver and thumbs back the hammer''] Kill him.
:''[Creedy and his men open fire on V. After their guns are empty, with many rounds fired, V stand half-bowed, but then straightens and inhales deeply]''
:'''V''': My turn.
:''[V swiftly kills all of Creedy's remaining men with his knives, while Creedy frantically reloads his revolver]''
:'''Creedy''': ''[Starts shooting the approaching V]'' Die! ''Die!'' Why won't you die?! ''[His gun clicks empty]'' Why won't you die?
:'''V''': ''[Gasping]'' Beneath this mask, there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask, there is an ''idea'', Mr Creedy. And ideas are bulletproof!
:''[V grabs Creedy by the throat, lifts him up and pins him to the fence, and breaks his neck. Dropping the corpse, he removes an armored breastplate, now full of bullet holes, that he had been wearing under his clothes. He staggers away, bleeding heavily.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Evey and Finch stand watching Parliament erupt in explosions of fireworks while the'' 1812 Overture ''plays over the loudspeakers]''
:'''Finch''': Who was he?
:'''Evey''': He was [[w:Edmond Dantès|Edmond Dantès]]. And he was my father. And my mother... my brother... my friend. He was you, and me. He was all of us.

{{Misattributed begin}}

== Quoted from other sources ==
[[File:GuysSparkler.JPG|thumb|right|Remember, Remember&lt;br /&gt;The fifth of November,&lt;br /&gt;The gunpowder treason and plot.&lt;br /&gt;I know of no reason&lt;br /&gt;Why the gunpowder treason&lt;br /&gt;Should ever be forgot.]]
:&lt;small&gt;These statements, popularized in the film, are actually quotes from other sources. &lt;/small&gt;

* Remember, Remember ''or'' Please to remember&lt;br /&gt;The fifth of November,&lt;br /&gt;The gunpowder treason and plot.&lt;br /&gt;I know of no reason&lt;br /&gt;Why the gunpowder treason&lt;br /&gt;Should ever be forgot.
** Traditional English verse recited for [[Guy Fawkes]] Night

* The multiplying villainies of nature do swarm upon him...&lt;br /&gt;''[skipping four of the original lines]'' Disdaining fortune with his brandished steel, which smoked with bloody execution...
** [[William Shakespeare]], in ''[[Macbeth]]'' 1.2.17-18

* We are oft to blame in this. 'Tis too much proved that with devotion's visage and pious action we do sugar o'er the devil himself.'
** [[William Shakespeare]], in ''[[Hamlet]]'' 3.1.46-49

* I dare do all that may become a man; Who dares do more is none.
** [[William Shakespeare]], in ''[[Macbeth]]'' 1.7.47-48

* And thus I clothe my naked villainy&lt;br /&gt;With old odd ends, stol'n forth of holy writ;&lt;br /&gt;And seem a saint, when most I play the devil.
** [[William Shakespeare]], in  ''[[Richard III (play)|Richard III]]'' 1.3.336-38

* Conceal me what I am, and be my aid&lt;br /&gt;For such disguise as haply shall become&lt;br /&gt;The form of my intent.
** [[William Shakespeare]], in ''[[Twelfth Night]]'' 1.2.53-55
{{Misattributed end}}

== Quotes about ''V for Vendetta'' ==
[[File:VSymbol1.png|thumb|V has a [[totalitarian]] state to overthrow, and only a year to do it in, and we watch as he improvises a [[revolution]]. ~ [[Roger Ebert]] ]] 
[[File:Circle-A red.svg|thumb|right|One powerful theme centers on the notion that ideas live forever, their power undiminished even as those who espouse them die. ~ Claudia Puig]]
* '''There are ideas in this film.''' The most pointed is V's belief: &quot;People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.&quot; I am not sure V has it right; surely in the ideal state governments and their people should exist happily together. '''Fear in either direction must lead to violence. But V has a totalitarian state to overthrow, and only a year to do it in, and we watch as he improvises a revolution.'''
** [[Roger Ebert]], in [http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/v-for-vendetta-2006 ''Chicago Sun-Times'' (16 March 2006)]

* '''Brutal, audacious and very slippery, ''V for Vendetta'' is the ballsiest major studio release I've ever seen'''… ''Vendetta'' is as rousing, engaging and devious as only the best propaganda can be — '''a call to rebellion that dares to question our respect for authority and gives us a masked terrorist and his manipulated prodigy as our heroes.''' And unlike other political thrillers that seem content to simply wallow their dissatisfaction with the state of the world, ''Vendetta'' demands that we take personal responsibility for our actions and for the administrations that we allow to come into power... ''Vendetta'' is a thematic powderkeg... Straight up, this is as invigorating, challenging and moving a film as one can hope to expect, especially from a major studio (and the first). Don't miss the movie of the year.
**[http://web.archive.org/web/20080523185920/http://www.freezedriedmovies.com/review.php?id=338 Brian Buzz Juergens at freezedriedmovies.com]

* '''The dark and stylized ''V for Vendetta'' is visually exhilarating, provocative and disturbing.''' Set in a slightly futuristic world (London in 2020), ''Vendetta'' is an action thriller that also stimulates thought... '''Despite its disparate influences, ''Vendetta'' feels captivatingly original.''' The multilayered film can be appreciated strictly as an action thriller or for its deeper message about personal responsibility, political oppression and revolutionary change. '''One powerful theme centers on the notion that ideas live forever, their power undiminished even as those who espouse them die.'''
** [http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/reviews/2006-03-15-v-for-vendetta_x.htm Claudia Puig at ''USA Today'']

* It seemed to me the two more absolute extremes were anarchy and fascism. This was one of the things I objected to in the recent film, where it seems to be, from the script that I read, sort of recasting it as current American neo-conservatism vs. current American liberalism. There wasn't a mention of anarchy as far as I could see. The fascism had been completely defanged. I mean, I think that any references to racial purity had been excised, whereas actually, fascists are quite big on racial purity.
:* [[Alan Moore]] [http://web.archive.org/web/20060404210249/http://www.comicon.com/thebeat/2006/03/a_for_alan_pt_1_the_alan_moore.html]

==Taglines==
* An uncompromising vision of the future from the creators of the Matrix trilogy.
* People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.
* Remember, remember the 5th of November.
* FREEDOM! FOREVER!
* Strength through unity, unity through faith!
* England prevails.
* Ideas are bulletproof.

==Cast==
* [[Natalie Portman]] – Evey Hammond 
* [[Hugo Weaving]] – V
* [[w:Stephen Rea|Stephen Rea]] – Eric Finch
* [[Stephen Fry]] – Gordon Dietrich
* [[w:John Hurt|John Hurt]] – Chancellor Adam Sutler

== External links ==
{{wikipedia-inline}}&lt;br&gt;{{commonscat-inline|V for Vendetta}}
*{{imdb title|id=0434409|title=V for Vendetta}}
*{{rotten-tomatoes| id=v_for_vendetta |title=V for Vendetta}}

{{V for Vendetta}}

[[Category:2006 films]]
[[Category:Political drama films]]
[[Category:Dystopian films]]
[[Category:Post-apocalyptic films]]
[[Category:Films based on works by Alan Moore]]
[[Category:Journalist films]]
[[Category:Screenplays by The Wachowskis]]
[[Category:Films set in London]]
[[Category:Films about terrorism]]
[[Category:Conspiracy films]]
[[Category:Films about revenge]]
[[Category:Action thriller films]]</text>
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      <text bytes="30482" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Henry St John, 1st Viscount Bolingbroke (1678-1751).jpg |thumb|It is the [[modest]], not the [[presumptuous]], inquirer who makes a [[real]] and [[safe]] [[progress]] in the [[discovery]] of [[divine]] [[truths]].]]
[[File:1stViscountBolingbroke.jpg|thumb|[[Truth]] lies within a little and certain compass, but [[error]] is immense.]]
'''[[w:Henry St John, 1st Viscount Bolingbroke|Henry St John, 1st Viscount Bolingbroke]]''' ([[September 16]], [[1678]] – [[December 12]], [[1751]]) was an English statesman and philosopher.

== Quotes ==
*We have been twenty years engaged in the two most expensive wars that Europe ever saw. The whole burthen of this charge has lain upon the landed interest during the whole time. The men of estates have, generally speaking, neither served in the fleets nor armies, nor meddled in the public funds, and management of the treasure.&lt;br&gt;A new interest has been created out of their fortunes, and a sort of property, which was not known twenty years ago, is now encreased to be almost equal to the terra firma of our island. The consequences of all this is, that the landed men are become poor and dispirited. They either abandon all thoughts of the publick, turn arrant farmers, and improve the estates they have left: or else they seek to repair their shattered fortunes by listing at court, or under the heads of partys. In the mean while those men are become their masters, who formerly would with joy have been their servants.
**Letter to Lord Orrery (9 July 1709), quoted in 'The Letters of Henry St. John to the Earl of Orrery, 1709–1711', ed. H. T. Dickinson, ''Camden Miscellany, Vol. XXVI'' (1975), p. 146

*Though the condition of France by evident tokens appears to be miserable, yet their ill circumstances are certainly exaggerated in our accounts. I doubt, we may add that our own state is not much better than our enemy's, and that an unseasonable harvest would reduce our people to the same misery as we triumph over.&lt;br&gt;Peace is as much our interest as theirs. I am so firmly persuaded of this, that I will continue to hope the winter may ripen this glorious fruit, which the summer could not.&lt;br&gt;As to the conditions of this peace, it is melancholy to reflect, that those articles you speak of, which will in their consequence devolve so prodigious a power on Holland, seem to be agreed on all sides; whilst the single principle on which we engaged in the war, remaines the only point in dispute.
**Letter to Lord Orrery (1 September 1709), quoted in 'The Letters of Henry St. John to the Earl of Orrery, 1709–1711', ed. H. T. Dickinson, ''Camden Miscellany, Vol. XXVI'' (1975), p. 147

*You may observe yourself...what a difference there is between the true strength of this nation and the fictitious one of the [[Whigs (British political party)|Whigs]]. How much time, how many lucky incidents, how many strains of power, how much money must go to create a majority of the latter; on the other hand, take but off the opinion that the Crown is another way inclined, the church interest rises with redoubled force, and by its natural genuine strength.
**Letter to Mr. Drummond (10 November 1710), quoted in Gilbert Parke, ''Letters and Correspondence, Public and Private, of The Right Honourable Henry St. John, Lord Visc. Bolingbroke; during the Time he was Secretary of State to Queen Anne; with State Papers, Explanatory Notes, and a Translation of the Foreign Letters, &amp;c.: Vol. I'' (1798), pp. 16–17

*A peace must be had; and all mankind sees plainly now, in how vile a manner former opportunities were neglected of making a better than at his hour we have reason to expect.
**Letter to Lord Orrery (30 March 1711), quoted in 'The Letters of Henry St. John to the Earl of Orrery, 1709–1711', ed. H. T. Dickinson, ''Camden Miscellany, Vol. XXVI'' (1975), p. 163

*[I]t is a pretty shocking observation that the [[Anne of Great Britain|Queen]] is to be the guarantee for a loan of this extraordinary nature made by the Dutch, and especially at a time, when under pretence of disability they directly refuse to furnish their quotas for the sea service, in spight of the obligations of all sorts, which lye upon them to do otherwise.
**Letter to Lord Orrery (6 April 1711), quoted in 'The Letters of Henry St. John to the Earl of Orrery, 1709–1711', ed. H. T. Dickinson, ''Camden Miscellany, Vol. XXVI'' (1975), p. 164

* '''Truth lies within a little and certain compass, but error is immense.'''
** ''Reflections upon Exile'' (1716)

* We are born too late to see the beginning, and we did too soon to see the end of many things.
** ''On the Study and Use of History''

* I have read somewhere or other, — in [[w:Dionysius of Halicarnassus|Dionysius of Halicarnassus]], I think, — that history is philosophy teaching by examples.
** ''On the Study and Use of History'', letter 2; in fact this relates to a third-century AD treatise on rhetoric, wrongly attributed to Dionysius of Halicarnassus, which says (xi. 2): &quot;The contact with manners then is education; and this Thucydides appears to assert when he says history is philosophy learned from examples&quot;. The line is not found in Thucydides.

* Nations, like men, have their infancy.
** ''On the Study and Use of History'', letter 4 (1752)

* They ([[w:Thucydides|Thucydides]] and [[w:Xenophon|Xenophon]]) maintained the dignity of history.
** ''On the Study and Use of History'', letter 5 (1752); compare [[Henry Fielding]], ''Tom Jones'', book xi. chap. ii.; [[Horace Walpole]], ''Advertisement to Letter to Sir Horace Mann''; [[Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1st Baron Macaulay|Thomas Babington Macaulay]], ''History of England'', vol. i. chap. i.

* The landed men are the true owners of our political vessel, the moneyed men are no more than passengers in it.
** ''Some Reflections on the Present State of the Nation'' (1753)

* The second proposition admits and encourages the very practice we censure so justly, for which the saint [ [[Augustine of Hippo]] ] was so famous, and by which he contributed so much to promote contentions in his own days, and to perpetuate them to ours. The practice of deducing doctrines from the scriptures that are not evidently contained in them... Who does not see that the direct tendency of this practice is exactly the same as the event has proved it to be? It composes and propagates a religion, seemingly under the authority of God, but really under that of man. The principles of [[revelation]] are lost in [[theology]], or disfigured by it: and whilst some men are impudent enough to pretend, others are silly enough to believe, that they adhere to the [[gospel]], and maintain the cause of God against infidels and heretics, when they do nothing better, nor more, than espouse the conceits of men, whom enthusiasm, or the ambition of forming sects, or of making a great figure in them, has inspired. If you ask now what the practice of the [[w:Church Fathers|christian fathers]], and of other divines, should have been, in order to preserve the purity of faith, and to promote peace and charity, the answer is obvious... They should have adhered to the word of God: they should have paid no regard to [[w:Ancient Greek philosophy|heathen philosophy]], [[Judaism|jewish]] [[w:Kabbalah|cabala]], the sallies of enthusiasm, or the refinements of human ingenuity: they should have embraced, and held fast the articles of faith and doctrine, that were delivered in plain terms, or in unequivocal figures: they should not have been [[w:Dogma|dogmatical]] where the sense was doubtful, nor have presumed even to guess where the [[w:Holy Spirit (Christianity)|Holy Ghost]] left the veil of mystery undrawn.
** [http://books.google.com/books?id=E6ATAAAAQAAJ ''Lord Bolingbroke's Philosophical Works''] (1754) Vol.III, Essay IV, Sect XVI

* It is the modest, not the presumptuous, inquirer who makes a real and safe progress in the discovery of divine truths. One follows Nature and Nature's God; that is, he follows God in his works and in his word.
** Letter to [[Alexander Pope]]; compare: &quot;Slave to no sect, who takes no private road, But looks through Nature up to Nature’s God&quot;, [[Alexander Pope]], ''Essay on Man'', epistle iv. line 331.

* The shortest and surest way of arriving at real knowledge is to unlearn the lessons we have been taught, to mount the first principles, and take nobody's word about them.
** As quoted in ''Treasury of Wisdom, Wit and Humor, Odd Comparisons and Proverbs'' (1891) by Adam Woolever

===On the Spirit of Patriotism (1736)===
:&lt;small&gt;''Letters, on the Spirit of Patriotism: On the Idea of a Patriot King: And On the State of Parties, at the Accession of King George the First'' (1749)&lt;/small&gt;
*The manners of our fore-fathers were, I believe, in many respects better: they had more probity perhaps, they had certainly more show of honour, and greater industry.
**p. 18

*One party [the [[Whigs (British political party)|Whigs]]&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt; had given their whole attention, during several years, to the project of enriching themselves, and impoverishing the rest of the nation; and, by these and other means, of establishing their dominion under the government and with the favour of a family, who were foreigners, and therefore might believe, that they were established on the throne by the good will and strength of this party alone. This party in general were so intent on these views, and many of them, I fear, are so still, that they did not advert in time to the necessary consequences of the measures they abetted: nor did they consider, that the power they raised, and by which they hoped to govern their country, would govern them with the very rod of iron they forged, and would be the power of a prince or minister, not that of a party long.
**pp. 20-21

*Another party [the [[w:Tories (British political party)|Tories]]&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt; continued sour, sullen, and inactive, with judgments so weak, and passions so strong, that even experience, and a severe one surely, was lost upon them. They waited, like the ''Jews'', for a ''Messiah'', that may never come; and under whom, if he did come, they would be strangely disappointed in their expectations of glory and triumph, and universal dominion. Whilst they waited, they were marked out like the ''Jews'', a distinct race, hewers of wood and drawers of water, scarce members of the community, tho born in the country.
**pp. 21-22

*The service of our country is no chimerical, but a real duty. He who admits the proofs of any other moral duty, drawn from the constitution of human nature, or from the moral fitness and unfitness of things, must admit them in favour of this duty, or be reduced to the most absurd inconsistency.
**pp. 27-28

*To what higher station, to what greater glory can any mortal aspire, than to be, during the whole course of his life, the support of good, the controul of bad government, and the guardian of public liberty? 
**p. 29

*Neither [[Michel de Montaigne|Montaigne]] in writing his essays, nor [[René Descartes|DesCartes]] in building new worlds, nor [[Thomas Burnet|Burnet]] in framing an antedeluvian earth, no nor [[Isaac Newton|Newton]] in discovering and establishing the true laws of nature on experiment and a sublimer geometry, felt more intellectual joys; than he feels who is a ''real patriot'', who bends all the force of his understanding, and directs all his thoughts and actions, to the good of his country.
**p. 31

*[[w:Henry Hyde, Viscount Cornbury|My Lord]], I have insisted the more on this duty which men owe to their country, because I came out of ''England'', and continue still, strongly affected with what I saw when I was there. Our government has approached, nearer than ever before, to the true principles of it, since the [[Glorious Revolution|revolution of one thousand six hundred and eighty eight]]: and the accession of the [[w:House of Hanover|present family]] to the throne, has given the fairest opportunities, as well as the justest reasons, for compleating the scheme of liberty, and improving it to perfection. 
**pp. 36-37

*[N]o human institution can arrive at perfection, and the most that human wisdom can do, is to procure the same or greater good, at the expence of less evil.
**p. 45

*There have been periods when our government continued free, with strong appearances of becoming absolute. Let it be your glory, my Lord, and that of the new generation springing up with you, that this government do not become absolute at any future period, with the appearances of being free.
**p. 46

===''The Idea of a Patriot King'' (1738)===
:&lt;small&gt;''Letters, on the Spirit of Patriotism: On the Idea of a Patriot King: And On the State of Parties, at the Accession of King George the First'' (1749)&lt;/small&gt;

*I think, and every wise and honest man in generations yet unborn will think, if the history of [thi]s administration descends to blacken our annals, that the greatest iniquity of the minister &lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[Robert Walpole]]&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt;, on whom the whole iniquity ought to be charged, since he has been so long in possession of the whole power, is the constant endeavour he has employed to corrupt the ''morals'' of ''men''.
**pp. 68-69

*The minister &lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[Robert Walpole]]&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt; preaches corruption aloud and constantly, like an impudent missionary of vice.
**p. 72

*It seems to me, upon the whole matter, that to save or redeem a nation under such circumstances from perdition, nothing less is necessary than some great, some extraordinary conjuncture of ill fortune, or of good, which may ''purge'', yet ''so as by fire''. Distress from abroad, bankruptcy at home, and other circumstances of like nature and tendency, may beget universal confusion. Out of confusion order may arise: but it may be the order of a wicked tyranny, instead of the order of a just monarchy. Either may happen: and such an alternative, at the disposition of fortune, is sufficient to make a [[w:Stoic|stoic]] tremble! We may be saved indeed by means of a very different kind; but these means will not offer themselves, this way of salvation will not be opened to us, without the concurrence, and the influence of a P&lt;small&gt;ATRIOT&lt;/small&gt; K&lt;small&gt;ING&lt;/small&gt;, the most uncommon of all phænomena in the physical or moral world. Nothing can so surely and so effectually restore the virtue and public spirit, essential to the preservation of liberty, and national prosperity, as the reign of such a prince.
**pp. 72-73

*I esteem monarchy above any other form of government, and hereditary monarchy above elective. I reverence kings, their office, their rights, their persons; and it will never be owing to the ''principles'' I am going to establish, because the character and government of a ''patriot king'' can be established on no other, if their ''office'' and their ''right'' are not always held ''divine'', and their persons always ''sacred''.
**pp. 83-84

*The obligation of submission to both, is discoverable by so clear and so simple an use of our intellectual faculties, that it may be said properly enough to be ''revealed to us by God''; and tho ''both'' these laws cannot be said properly to be given by Him, yet our obligation to submit to the ''civil'' law is a principal paragraph in the ''natural'' law, which he has most manifestly given us. 
**pp. 84-85

*It follows, therefore, that he who breaks the ''laws of his country'' resists the ''ordinance of God'', that is, the law of his nature. God has instituted neither monarchy, nor aristocracy, nor democracy, nor mixed government: but tho God has instituted no particular form of government among men, yet by the general laws of his kingdom, he exacts our obedience to the laws of those communities to which each of us is attached by birth, or to which we may be attached by a subsequent and lawful engagement.
**pp. 85-86

*Nothing can be more absurd, in pure ''speculation'', than an hereditary right in any mortal to govern other men: and yet, in ''practice'', nothing can be more absurd than to have a king to choose at every vacancy of a throne. We draw at a ''lottery'' indeed in one case, where there are many chances to lose, and few to gain. But have we much more advantage of this kind in the other? I think not. Upon these, and upon most occasions, the multitude would do at least as well to trust to chance as choice, and to their fortune as to their judgment.
**pp. 89-90

*To conclude this head therefore, as I think a ''limited monarchy'' the best of governments, so I think an ''hereditary monarchy'' the best of monarchies. I said a ''limited monarchy''; for an ''unlimited monarchy'', wherein arbitrary will, which is in truth no rule, is however the sole rule, or stands instead of all rule of government, is so great an absurdity, both in reason informed or uninformed by experience, that it seems a government fitter for savages than for civilized people.
**pp. 91-92

*Among many reasons which determine me to prefer ''monarchy'' to every form of government, this is a principal one. When monarchy is the essential form, it may be more easily and more usefully ''tempered'' with ''aristocracy'' or ''democracy'', or both, than either of them, when they are the essential forms, can be ''tempered'' with ''monarchy''. It seems to me, that the introduction of a real permanent monarchical power, or any thing more than the pageantry of it, into either of these, must destroy them and extinguish them, as a great light extinguishes a less. Where it may easily be shewn, and the true form of our government will demonstrate, without seeking any other example, that very considerable ''aristocratical'' and ''democratical powers'' may be grafted on a ''monarchical stock'', without diminishing the lustre, or restraining the power and authority of the prince, enough to alter in any degree the essential form.
**pp. 92-93

*There must be an absolute, unlimited, and uncontroulable power lodged ''somewhere'' in every government; but to constitute monarchy, or the government of a single person, it is not necessary that this power should be lodged in the monarch ''alone''. 
**p. 93

*There are ''limitations'' indeed that would destroy the ''essential form'' of monarchy: or, in other words, a monarchical constitution may be changed, under pretence of limiting the monarch. This happened among us in the last century, when the vilest usurpation, and the most infamous tyranny, were established over our nation, by some of the worst and some of the meanest men in it. I will not say, that the ''essential form'' of monarchy should be preserved, tho the preservation of it were to cause the loss of ''liberty''. ''Salus reipsuprema lex esto'', is a fundamental law: and sure I am, the ''safety'' of a commonwealth is ill provided for, if the ''liberty'' be given up. But this I presume to say, and can demonstrate, that ''all'' the limitations necessary to preserve liberty, as long as the ''spirit'' of it subsists, and longer than that, no limitations of monarchy, nor any other form of government, can preserve it, are ''compatible'' with monarchy.
**p. 96

*My aim is to fix this principle, that ''limitations'' on a crown ought to be carried ''as far'' as it is necessary to secure the liberties of a people; and that all ''such limitations'' may subsist, without weakening or endangering monarchy.
**p. 97

*As soon as corruption ceases to be an expedient of government, and it will cease to be such as soon as a patriot king is raised to the throne, the ''panacea'' is applied: the spirit of the constitution revives of course; and as fast as it revives, the orders and forms of the constitution are restored to their primitive integrity, and become what they were intended to be; ''real barriers'' against arbitrary power, not ''blinds'' nor ''masks'' under which tyranny may lie concealed. Depravation of manners exposed the constitution to ruin; reformation will secure it.
**p. 134

*A patriot king is the most powerful of all reformers; for he is himself a sort of standing miracle, so rarely seen and so little understood, that the sure effects of his appearance will be admiration and love in every honest breast, confusion and terror to every guilty conscience, but submission and resignation in all. A new people will seem to arise with a new king. In numerable metamorphoses, like those which poets feign, will happen in very deed: and while men are conscious that they are the same individuals, the difference of their sentiments will almost persuade them that they are changed into different beings.
**p. 135

*By the principles of the [[Glorious Revolution|Revolution]], a subject may resist, no doubt, the prince who endeavours to ruin and enslave his people, and may push this resistance to the dethronement and exclusion of him and his race: but will it follow, that, because we may justly take arms against a prince whose right to govern we once acknowledged, and who by subsequent acts has forfeited that right, we may swear to a right we do not acknowledge, and resist a prince whose conduct has not forfeited the right we swore to, nor given any just dispensation from our oaths?
**p. 171

*The situation of ''Great Britain'', the character of her people, and the nature of her government fit her for trade and commerce. Her climate and her soil make them necessary to her well being. By trade and commerce we grew a rich and powerful nation, and by their decay we are growing poor and impotent. As trade and commerce enrich, so they fortify our country. The sea is our barrier, ships are our fortresses, and the mariners, that trade and commerce alone can furnish, are the garrisons to defend them.
**pp. 184-185

*The ''French'' may improve their natural wealth and power by the improvement of trade and commerce. We can have no wealth, nor power by consequence, as ''Europe'' is now constituted, without the improvement of them, nor in any degree but proportionably to this improvement.
**p. 186

*The result of what has been said is, ''in general'', that the wealth and power of all nations depending so much on their trade and commerce, and every nation being...in such different circumstances of advantage or disadvantage in the pursuit of this common interest; a good government, and therefore the government of a patriot king, will be directed constantly to make the most of every advantage that nature has given, or art can procure towards the improvement of trade and commerce. And this is one of the principal criterions, by which we are to judge whether governors are in the true interest of the people, or not.&lt;br&gt;It results, ''in particular'', that ''Great Britain'' might improve her wealth and power in a proportion superior to that of any nation who can be deemed her rival, if the advantages she has were as wisely cultivated, as they will be in the reign of a patriot king.
**pp. 186-187

*A patriot king will neither neglect, nor sacrifice his country's interest. No other interest, neither a foreign nor a domestic, neither a public nor a private, will influence his conduct in government... To give ease and encouragement to manufactory at home, to assist and protect trade abroad, to improve and keep in heart the national colonies, like so many farms of the mother-country, will be principal and constant parts of the attention of such a prince.
**pp. 190-191

*By a continual attention to improve her natural, that is her maritime strength, by collecting all her forces with in herself, and reserving them to be laid out on great occasions, such as regard her immediate interests and her honour, or such as are truly important to the general system of power in ''Europe''; she may be the ''arbitrator'' of ''differences'', the ''guardian'' of ''liberty'', and the ''preserver'' of that ''[[w:Balance of power (international relations)|Balance]]'', which has been so much talked of, and is so little understood.
**pp. 193-194

*Like other amphibious animals, we must come occasionally on shore: but the water is more properly our element, and in it, like them, as we find our greatest security, so we exert our greatest force.
**p. 195

*In his place, concord will appear, brooding peace and prosperity on the happy land; joy fitting in every face, content in every heart; a people unoppressed, undisturbed, unalarmed; busy to improve their private property and the public stock; fleets covering the ocean; bringing home wealth by the returns of industry; carrying assistance or terror abroad by the direction of wisdom; and asserting triumphantly the right and the honour of ''Great Britain'', as far as waters roll and as winds can waft them.&lt;br&gt;Those who live to see such happy days, and to act in so glorious a scene, will perhaps call to mind with some tenderness of sentiment, when he is no more, a ''man'', who contributed his mite to carry on so good a work, and who desired life for nothing so much, as to see a king of ''Great Britain'' the most popular man in his country, and a ''patriot king'' at the head of an united people.
**pp. 225-226

==Quotes about Bolingbroke==
*Who now reads Bolingbroke? Who ever read him through? ... I do not often quote Bolingbroke, nor have his works in general, left any permanent impression on my mind. He is a presumptuousness and a superficial writer. But he has one observation, which in my opinion, is not without depth and solidity. He says, that he prefers a monarchy to other governments; because you can better ingraft any description of republic on a monarchy than any thing of monarchy upon the republican forms. I think him perfectly in the right. 
**[[Edmund Burke]], ''[[Reflections on the Revolution in France]]'' (1790), pp. 133, 187

*He engaged young, and distinguished himself in business; and his penetration was almost intuition. I am old enough to have heard him speak in parliament. And I remember that, though prejudiced against him by party, I felt all the force and charms of his eloquence. Like Belial in [[John Milton|Milton]], “he made the worse appear the better cause.” All the internal and external advantages and talents of an orator are undoubtedly his. Figure, voice, elocution, knowledge, and, above all, the purest and most florid diction, with the justest metaphors and happiest images, had raised him to the post of Secretary at War, at four-and-twenty years old, an age at which others are hardly thought fit for the smallest employments. 
**[[Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield|Earl of Chesterfield]] to his son (12 December 1749) quoted in ''Letters Written By The Late Right Honourable Philip Dormer Stanhope, Earl Of Chesterfield, To His Son, Philip Stanhope, Esq. Late Envoy-Extraordinary At The Court Of Dresden: Together with Several Other Pieces On Various Subjects: In Four Volumes, Volume II'' (1792), p. 292

*Lord Bolingbroke, one of the ablest men who ever lived, was a firm and uncompromising Tory, and he advocated triennial Parliaments. He said that without this there was no security for the people, no integrity for the constitution.
**[[Benjamin Disraeli]], speech in High Wycombe (27 November 1832), quoted in  ''Selected Speeches of the late Right Honourable the Earl of Beaconsfield: Volume II'', ed. T. E. Kebbel (1882), p. 7

*He was called indeed a tory; but his writings prove him a stronger advocate for liberty than any of his countrymen, the whigs of the present day. Irritated by his exile, he committed one act unworthy of him, in connecting himself momentarily with a prince rejected by his country. But he redeemed that single act by his establishment of the principles which proved it to be wrong. ... Lord Bolingbroke's...is a style of the highest order. The lofty, rhythmical, full-flowing eloquence of [[Cicero]]. Periods of just measure, their members proportioned, their close full and round. His conceptions, too, are bold and strong, his diction copious, polished and commanding as his subject. His writings are certainly the finest samples in the English language, of the eloquence proper for the Senate. His political tracts are safe reading for the most timid religionist, his philosophical, for those who are not afraid to trust their reason with discussions of right and wrong. 
**[[Thomas Jefferson]] to Francis Eppes (19 January 1821), quoted in Thomas Jefferson, ''Writings'', ed. Merrill D. Peterson (1984), p. 1451

*I think Mr. secretary St. John the greatest young man I ever knew: wit, capacity, beauty, quickness of apprehension, good learning, and an excellent taste; the best orator in the house of commons, admirable conversation, good nature, and good manners; generous, and a despiser of money. His only fault is, talking to his friends in way of complaint of too great load of business, which looks a little like affectation; and he endeavours too much to mix the fine gentleman, and the man of pleasure, with the man of business. What truth and sincerity he may have, I know not.
**[[Jonathan Swift]], Letter XXXIII (23 October 1711), ''[[w:A Journal to Stella|A Journal to Stella]]'', quoted in ''The Works of Jonathan Swift, containing additional letters, tracts, and poems, with notes, and a life of the author, by W. Scott, Volume II'' (1824), pp. 405–406

*[T]he accomplishments of his mind, which was adorned with the choicest gifts that God has yet thought fit to bestow upon the children of men; a strong memory, a clear judgment, a vast range of wit and fancy, a thorough comprehension, an invincible eloquence, with a most agreeable elocution.
**[[Jonathan Swift]], ''An Inquiry into the Behaviour of the Queen's last Ministry, &amp;c.'' (June 1715), quoted ''The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 4'', ed. Thomas Sheridan (1801), in p. 310

== External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}
* [http://www.eighteenthcenturypoetry.org/authors/pers00082.shtml Henry St John, 1st Viscount Bolingbroke at the Eighteenth-Century Poetry Archive (ECPA)]
* {{Gutenberg author |id=Bolingbroke,+Henry+St.+John,+Viscount}}
* [http://www.berkshirehistory.com/bios/hstjohn_vbol.html Royal Berkshire History: Henry St John, Viscount Bolingbroke]
{{Social and political philosophers}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bolingbroke, Henry Saint John, 1st Viscount}}
[[Category:Academics from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:Philosophers from England]]
[[Category:1678 births]]
[[Category:1751 deaths]]
[[Category:People from London]]
[[Category:Tory (British political party) politicians]]
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'''''[[w:Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace|Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace]]''''' is a [[w:1999 in film|1999]] [[w:space opera|space opera]] film. It is the first film of the ''[[Star Wars]]'' prequel trilogy. The film follows with two Jedi Knights, who flee the planet Naboo with the planet's queen Padme Amidala in the hope of finding a peaceful end to a trade dispute. Along the way, the ship must stop for repairs on the planet Tatooine, where the Jedi encounter Anakin Skywalker, a young slave boy who is unusually strong with the Force. When the group returns to Naboo, they realize that the situation is much worse than they thought &amp;mdash; the evil Sith Lords have returned.
:''Written and directed by [[George Lucas]].''
{{center|'''Every Generation Has A Legend. Every Journey Has A First Step. Every Saga Has A Beginning.''' {{small|([[#taglines|taglines]])}}}}

==Opening crawl==
* Turmoil has engulfed the Galactic Republic. The taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems is in dispute. &lt;br /&gt; Hoping to resolve the matter with a blockade of deadly battleships, the greedy Trade Federation has stopped all shipping to the small planet of Naboo. &lt;br /&gt; While the congress of the Republic endlessly debates this alarming chain of events, the Supreme Chancellor has secretly dispatched two Jedi Knights, the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy, to settle the conflict....

==Dialogue==
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': I have a bad feeling about this.
:'''Qui-Gon Jinn''': I don't sense anything.
:'''Obi-Wan''': It's not about the mission, Master. It's something... elsewhere. Elusive.
:'''Qui-Gon''': Don't center on your anxieties, Obi-Wan. Keep your concentration here and now, where it belongs.
:'''Obi-Wan''': But Master Yoda said I should be mindful of the future.
:'''Qui-Gon''': But not at the expense of the moment. Be mindful of the living Force, young Padawan.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Yes, Master. How do you think this Trade Viceroy will deal with the Chancellor's demands?
:'''Qui-Gon''': These Federation types are cowards. The negotiations will be short.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Darth Sidious''': What is it?
:'''Daultay Dofine''': ''[interrupts]'' This scheme of yours has failed, Lord Sidious. The blockade is finished. We dare not go against the Jedi.
:'''Sidious''': Viceroy, I don't want this stunted slime in my sight again. ''[Daultay leaves]'' This turn of events is unfortunate. We must accelerate our plans. Begin landing your troops.
:'''[[w:Nute Gunray|Nute Gunray]]''': My Lord! Is that... legal?
:'''Sidious''': I will ''make'' it legal.
:'''Gunray''': And the Jedi?
:'''Sidious''': The Chancellor should never have brought them into this! Kill them immediately!
:'''Gunray''': Yes... yes, my Lord. As you wish.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Qui-Gon''': Do you hear that?
:''[a rumbling is heard in the distance]''
:'''Jar Jar Binks''': Yeah.
:'''Qui-Gon''': That is the sound of a thousand terrible things headed this way.
:'''Obi-Wan''': If and when they find us, they will crush us, grind us into tiny pieces and blast us into oblivion!
:'''Binks''': Hmmm... yousa point is well seen. This way. Hurry!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sidious''': And Queen Amidala... has she signed the treaty?
:'''Gunray''': She has disappeared, my lord. One Naboo cruiser got past the blockade.
:'''Sidious''': ''[annoyed]'' I want that treaty signed!
:'''Gunray''': My Lord... it's impossible to locate the ship! It's out of our range!
:'''Sidious''': Not for a Sith. ''[hologram of Darth Maul appears in front of Viceroy Gunray]'' This is my apprentice, Darth Maul. He will find your lost ship. ''[holograms of Sidious and Maul fade]''
:'''Gunray''': This is getting out of hand. Now there are two of them!!
:'''Rune Haako''': We should not have made this bargain.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Watto''': Here it is... a T-14 hyperdrive generator!! Thee in luck, I'm the only one hereabouts who has one...but thee might as well buy a new ship. It would be cheaper, I think. Saying of which, how's thee going to pay for all this?
:'''Qui-Gon''': I have 20,000 republic dataries...
:'''Watto''': Republic credits? Republic credits are no use out here. I need something different, something more real...
:'''Qui-Gon''': I don't have anything else, but credits will do fine. ''[waves his hand, attempting to use the Jedi mind trick]''
:'''Watto''': No, they won'ta.
:'''Qui-Gon''': Credits ''will'' do fine. ''[tries the mind trick again]''
:'''Watto''': No, they ''won'ta''! What, you think you're some kind of Jedi, waving your hand around like that? I'm a Toydarian. Mind tricks don't work on me; only money. No money! No parts! No deal! And no one else has a T-14 hyperdrive, I promise you that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Darth Maul''': Tatooine is sparsely populated. If the trace was correct, I will find them quickly, Master.
:'''Darth Sidious''': Move against the Jedi first. You will then have no difficulty taking the Queen back to Naboo to sign the treaty.
:'''Maul''': At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we will have revenge.
:'''Sidious''': You have been well trained, my young apprentice. They will be no match for you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Finis Valorum''': The chair recognizes the Senator from the sovereign system of Naboo.
:'''Palpatine''': Supreme Chancellor, delegates of the Senate, a tragedy has occurred... which started right here with the taxation of trade routes... and has now engulfed our entire planet... in the oppression of the Trade Federation.
:'''Lott Dod''': This is outrageous! I object to the senator's statements!
:'''Valorum''': The chair does not recognize the senator from the Trade Federation at this time.
:'''Palpatine''': To state our allegations, I present Queen Amidala, recently elected ruler of the Naboo, who speaks on our behalf.
:'''Padmé Amidala''': Honorable representatives of the Republic, I come to you under the gravest of circumstances. The Naboo system has been invaded by the droid armies of the Trade...
:'''Dod''': I object! There is no proof! This is incredible. We recommend a commission be sent to Naboo to ascertain the truth.
:'''Senator Teem''': The Congress of Malastare concurs with the honorable delegate from the Trade Federation. A commission must be appointed.
:'''Valorum''': The point...
:'''Mas Amedda''': Excuse me, Chancellor. ''[whispers to Chancellor Valorum]''
:'''Palpatine''': ''[Whispering to Queen Amidala]'' Enter the bureaucrats, the ''true'' rulers of the Republic. And on the payroll of the Trade Federation, I might add. This is where Chancellor Valorum's strength will disappear.
:'''Valorum''': The point is conceded. Will you defer your motion to allow a commission to explore the validity of your accusations?
:'''Padmé''': I will ''not'' defer. I've come before you to resolve this attack on our sovereignty ''now''! I was not elected to watch my people suffer and die while you discuss this invasion in a committee! If this body is not capable of action, I suggest new leadership is needed. I move for a vote of no confidence in Chancellor Valorum's leadership.
:''[The Senators begin arguing over Queen Amidala's decision, as Valorum sits down, stunned]''
:'''Mas Amedda''': ORDER!!
:'''Palpatine''': Now they will elect a new Chancellor, a strong Chancellor. One who will not let this tragedy continue.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yoda''': How feel you?
:'''Anakin Skywalker''': Cold, sir.
:'''Yoda''': Afraid, are you?
:'''Anakin''': No, sir.
:'''Yoda''': See through you, we can.
:'''Mace Windu''': Be mindful of your feelings.
:'''Ki-Adi-Mundi''': Your thoughts dwell on your mother.
:'''Anakin''': I miss her.
:'''Yoda''': Ah, afraid to lose her, I think, hmm?
:'''Anakin''': What has that got to do with anything?
:'''Yoda''': Everything! Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Qui-Gon''': ''[dying]'' It's too late, it's...
:'''Obi-Wan''': No!
:'''Qui-Gon''': Obi-Wan, promise... Promise me you will train the boy.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Yes, master.
:'''Qui-Gon''': He... is the Chosen One. He... will bring balance... Train him.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yoda''': Confer on you the level of Jedi Knight, the Council does. But agree with your taking this boy as your Padawan learner, I do not!
:'''Obi-Wan''': Qui-Gon believed in him.
:'''Yoda''': The Chosen One, the boy may be. Nevertheless, grave danger, I fear in his training.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Master Yoda, I gave Qui-Gon my word. I ''will'' train Anakin... without the approval of the Council, if I must.
:'''Yoda''': Qui-Gon's defiance, I sense in you. Need that, you do not. Agree with you, the Council does. Your apprentice, Skywalker will be.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Darth Maul's defeat]''
:'''Mace Windu''': There's no doubt the mysterious warrior was a Sith.
:'''Yoda''': Always two, there are. No more, no less. A master and an apprentice.
:'''Windu''': But which one was destroyed, the master or the apprentice?

== About ''{{PAGENAME}}'' ==

* Harrison Ford wears the same outfit for three flicks, and I was complaining that I wear, like, six outfits. And my mother – Natalie Portman – she wears three million. She walks through a doorway and there's another outfit. It's like the Liberace of sci-fi changing of clothes.
** [[w:Carrie Fisher|Carrie Fisher]], commentary to Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, Special Edition (DVD, 20th Century Fox, 2005).

* Star Wars fame turned my life into a living hell
* When you have something like that there's a lot of expectations for it to meet the standards of the public and I don't think George did that.
* For me to go back and watch it now would be kind of creepy.
** [[w:Jake Lloyd|Jake Lloyd]] [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2110383/Anakin-Skywalker-actor-Jake-Lloyd-Star-Wars-fame-turned-life-living-hell.html &quot;'Star Wars fame turned my life into a living hell': Former child star Jake 'Anakin Skywalker' Lloyd on why he quit acting&quot;] J.J. Anisiobi, ''DailyMail.com'', 5 March 2012.

* Jar Jar is the key to all of this.
** [[George Lucas]] as quoted in [http://redlettermedia.com/plinkett/star-wars/star-wars-episode-1-the-phantom-menace/ &quot;Red Letter Media Star Wars Episode - The Phantom Menace Review&quot;], ''Red Letter Media''. 

* [[w:Caserta|Caserta]] was one of the most beautiful palaces on the planet and once we saw this there was no question that we wanted to shoot here.
** George Lucas ''Anticipation: The Real Life Story of Star Wars: Episode I-The Phantom Menace'' by Jonathan Bowen p.8

* [[Royalty|Someone of that stature]] would automatically be changing their costumes to fit the occasion.
** George Lucas, Costume Featurette, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace Special Features, (DVD, 20th Century Fox, 1999), disc 2.

* You can't just go and do a location shoot of Coruscant; there's nothing like it that people have ever seen.
** [[w:Rick McCallum|Rick McCallum]] ''Anticipation: The Real Life Story of Star Wars: Episode I-The Phantom Menace'' by Jonathan Bowen p.7

* I watched it once, at the premiere, so I'm not in a good position to judge. They had a tall order, the three films I did. The fans waited so long and wanted to feel like they did when they watched the first film, but they were grown-ups by that time. I don't mind the criticism. I've heard it to my face.
** Ewan McGregor [http://www.cinemablend.com/new/What-Ewan-McGregor-Thinks-Star-Wars-Phantom-Menace-Retrospect-67890.html &quot;What Ewan McGregor Thinks Of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace In Retrospect&quot;], Eric Eisenberg, ''Cinemablend.com'', 2015.

* One of the things about Episode One I was slightly disappointed by was, I thought it was very kind of flat. I think there's much more humour and there's much more colour in Episode II: Attack of the Clones. I think it's more reminiscent of the original three Star Wars films than Episode I was.
** Ewan McGregor, [http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/1915732.stm &quot;Ewan 'disappointed' by Phantom Menace&quot;], ''BBC News'', 7 April, 2002.

* Rastafarian Stepin Fetchit on platform hoofs, crossed annoyingly with Butterfly McQueen.
** Joe Morgenstern (May 19, 1999), &quot;Our Inner Child Meets Young Darth&quot;, The Wall Street Journal (Eastern Edition), pp. A20.

* A huge exercise in imagination. A kid playing in a cardboard box he pretends is a house, or a spaceship.
** Natalie Portman [http://www.jsonline.com/blogs/entertainment/116478348.html &quot;'Black Swan' Oscar nominee Natalie Portman talks 'Star Wars'&quot;], Duane Dudek, ''Milwauke Journal Sentinel'', Feb. 21, 2011.

* It was wonderful playing a young queen with so much power. I think it will be good for young women to see a strong woman of action who is also smart and a leader.
** Natalie Portman, quoted in &quot;Production Notes&quot;.

* I was very disappointed when the film actually came out, because I didn't think it was very good! But it was certainly an extremely exciting thing to be a part of.
* It was a real shame, because I think the first Star Wars film is my favourite film ever. That would be my desert island film. For me it's got everything. There's not a beat wrong in that film.
: It's a testament to the resilience of the Star Wars universe itself, that even with all the tweaks and whatever that George Lucas has done to the original film, and all the inferior prequels, that the universe still manages to be so exciting and cool and endures.
:* Peter Serafinowicz [http://www.digitalspy.com/movies/star-wars/news/a346992/star-wars-episode-i-wasnt-very-good-says-peter-serafinowicz/ &quot;'Star Wars: Episode I' wasn't very good, says Peter Serafinowicz&quot;], Mayer Nissim, ''Digital Spy'', 22 October 2011.

* I didn't feel like he was a director of actors; he was more interested in stuff and effects. He didn't interest me and I wouldn't think I interested him.
* I did meet her and she was absolutely enchanting. But on the day I'm supposed to do my scene with her, for which I'd traveled halfway around the world, I said, 'Where's Natalie?' And George says, 'That's Natalie,' and points to a bit of paper on the wall. It was just boring.
:* Terence Stamp [http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Terence-Stamp-Reflects-Misery-Shooting-Star-Wars-Phantom-Menace-35422.html &quot;Terence Stamp Reflects On The Misery Of Shooting Star Wars The Phantom Menace&quot;], Eric Eisenberg, ''Cinema Blend'', 2013.

==Taglines==
* Every generation has a legend. Every journey has a first step. Every saga has a beginning.
* One Truth, One Hate

==Cast==
* [[Liam Neeson]] — Qui-Gon Jinn
* [[Ewan McGregor]] — Obi-Wan Kenobi
* [[Natalie Portman]] — Queen Padmé Amidala
* [[w:Jake Lloyd|Jake Lloyd]] — Anakin Skywalker
* [[w:Silas Carson|Silas Carson]] — Nute Gunray, Ki-Adi Mundi
* [[Ian McDiarmid]] — Senator Palpatine/Darth Sidious
* [[w:Ray Park|Ray Park]] — Darth Maul
* [[w:Kenny Baker|Kenny Baker]] — R2-D2
* [[Keira Knightley]] - Sabé, Padmé's decoy
===Voices===
* [[Frank Oz]] — Master Yoda
* [[w:Ahmed Best|Ahmed Best]] — Jar Jar Binks
* [[Anthony Daniels]] — C-3PO
* [[w:Andy Secombe|Andy Secombe]] — Watto
* [[w:Lewis MacLeod|Lewis Macleod]] — Sebulba
* [[w:Brian Blessed|Brian Blessed]] — Boss Nass
* [[w:Peter Serafinowicz|Peter Serafinowicz]] — Darth Maul
* [[w:Greg Proops|Greg Proops]]/[[w:Scott Capurro|Scott Capurro]] — Fode and Beed


----
{{Star Wars}}

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|0120915|Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace}}
*{{rotten-tomatoes|star_wars_episode_i_the_phantom_menace|Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace}}
* [http://www.starwarsquotes.net Star Wars quotes]

[[Category:1999 films]]
[[Category:Star Wars films]]
[[Category:Films directed by George Lucas]]
[[Category:Prequel films]]
[[Category:Screenplays by George Lucas]]
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'''''[[w:Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith|Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith]]''''' is a [[w:2005 in film|2005]] [[w:space opera|space opera]] film. It is the third and final film of the ''[[Star Wars]]'' prequel trilogy. The film is set three years after the start of the Clone Wars; the noble Jedi Knights are spread across the galaxy leading a massive clone army against the Separatists. After Chancellor Palpatine is kidnapped by the evil General Grievous, Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and his former Padawan Anakin Skywalker are dispatched to rescue him. Meanwhile, Anakin's friendship with the Chancellor arouses suspicion in the Jedi Order and proves dangerous to the Jedi Knight himself. When the evil Sith Lord, Darth Sidious, unveils a plot to take over the galaxy, the fate of Anakin, the Jedi Order, and the entire galaxy is at stake. This film was released in theaters on May 19, 2005 in United States.
:''Written and directed by [[George Lucas]].''
{{center|'''The Saga Is Complete.''' &lt;small&gt;([[#taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

==Opening crawl==
* War! The Republic is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Sith Lord, Count Dooku. There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere. &lt;br /&gt; In a stunning move, the fiendish droid leader, General Grievous, has swept into the Republic capital and kidnapped Chancellor Palpatine, leader of the Galactic Senate. &lt;br /&gt; As the Separatist Droid Army attempts to flee the besieged capital with their valuable hostage, two Jedi Knights lead a desperate mission to rescue the captive Chancellor....     

==Dialogue==
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': Chancellor.
:'''Anakin Skywalker''': Are you all right?
:'''Chancellor Palpatine''': ''[looking behind them]'' Count Dooku.
:''[Count Dooku appears. He jumps from the balcony and landed on his feet
:'''Obi-Wan''': This time, we'll do it together.
:'''Anakin''': I was about to say that.
:'''Palpatine''': Get help. You're no match for him, he's a Sith Lord.
:'''Obi-Wan''': ''[turns and smiles]'' Chancellor Palpatine, Sith Lords are our speciality. ''[takes off his robe along with Anakin]''
:'''Count Dooku''': Your swords, please. We don't want to make a mess of things in front of the Chancellor.
:'''Obi-Wan''': You won't get away this time, Dooku.
:''[They ignite their own lightsabers and begin to fight]''
:'''Dooku''': I've been looking forward to this.
:'''Anakin''': My powers have doubled since the last time we met, Count.
:'''Dooku''': Good. Twice the pride, double the fall.
:''[They fight some more]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Chancellor Palpatine and Anakin Skywalker talk about Anakin's dreams]''
:'''Palpatine''': Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?
:'''Anakin''': No.
:'''Palpatine''': I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith so powerful and so wise, he could use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians to create...life. He had such a knowledge of the dark side, he could even keep the ones he cared about...from dying.
:'''Anakin''': He could actually...save people from death?
:'''Palpatine''': The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be ''unnatural''.
:'''Anakin''': What happened to him?
:'''Palpatine''': He became so powerful, the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power...which, eventually of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death...but not himself.
:'''Anakin''': Is it possible to learn this power?
:'''Palpatine''': Not from a Jedi.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mace Windu and the Jedi Council members are very concerned about what Chancellor Palpatine has in store for the Jedi Order]''
:'''Mace Windu''': I sense a plot to destroy the Jedi. The Dark Side of the Force surrounds the Chancellor.
:'''Ki-Adi-Mundi''': If he does not give up his emergency powers after the destruction of Grievous, then he should be removed from office.
:'''Mace''': The Jedi Council would have to take control of the Senate in order to ensure a peaceful transition.
:'''Yoda''': To a dark place, this line of thought will carry us. Hmm… great care, we must take.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Anakin''': Master Windu! I must talk to you!
:'''Mace''': Skywalker! We just received word that Obi-Wan has destroyed General Grievous. We're on our way to make sure the Chancellor returns his emergency powers back to the Senate.
:'''Anakin''': He won't give up his power. I've just learned a terrible truth. I think Chancellor Palpatine is a Sith Lord.
:'''Mace''': A Sith Lord?!!
:'''Anakin''': Yes… the one we've been looking for.
:'''Mace''': How do you know this?
:'''Anakin''': He knows the ways of the Force. He's been trained to use the Dark Side.
:'''Mace''': Are you sure?
:'''Anakin''': Absolutely.
:'''Mace''': Then our worst fears have been realized. We must move quickly if the Jedi Order is to survive.
:'''Anakin''': Master, the Chancellor is very powerful. You'll need my help if you're going to arrest him.
:'''Mace''': For your own good, stay out of this affair. I sense a great deal of confusion in you, young Skywalker. There is much fear that clouds your judgment.
:'''Anakin''': I must go, Master.
:'''Mace''': No! If what you've told me is true, you will have gained my trust. But for now, remain here. Wait in the Council chamber until we return!
:'''Anakin''': ''[resigned]'' Yes, Master.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mace Windu is flung out the window to his death]''
:'''Anakin''': What have I done?
:'''Darth Sidious''': You're fulfilling your destiny, Anakin. Become my apprentice. Learn to use the dark side of the Force.
:'''Anakin''': I will do whatever you ask.
:'''Sidious''': Good!
:'''Anakin''': Just help me save Padmé's life. I can't live without her.
:'''Sidious''': To cheat death is the power only ''one'' has achieved. But if we work ''together'', I know we can discover the secret.
:'''Anakin''': I pledge myself to your teachings.
:'''Sidious''': Good. ''Good''! The Force is strong with you. A powerful Sith you will become. Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth...Vader.
:'''Darth Vader''': Thank you... my Master.
:'''Sidious''': Rise.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sidious''': Because the Council did not trust you, my young apprentice, I believe you are the only Jedi with no knowledge of this plot. When the Jedi learn what has transpired here, they will kill us… along with all the Senators.
:'''Vader''': I agree. The Council's next move will be against the Senate.
:'''Sidious''': Every single Jedi, including your friend, Obi-Wan Kenobi, is now an enemy of the Republic.
:'''Vader''': I understand, Master.
:'''Sidious''': We must move quickly. The Jedi are relentless. If they are not destroyed, it will be civil war without end. First, I want you to go to the Jedi Temple. We will catch them off balance. Do what must be done, Lord Vader. Do not hesitate. Show no mercy. Only then will you be strong enough with the Dark Side to save Padmé.
:'''Vader''': What about the other Jedi spread across the galaxy?
:'''Sidious''': Their betrayal will be dealt with. After you have killed all the Jedi in the temple, go to the Mustafar system. Wipe out Viceroy Gunray and the other Separatist leaders. Once more, the Sith will rule the galaxy! And… we shall have peace.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sidious''': And the Jedi rebellion has been foiled.
:'''Bail''': What's happened?
:'''Padmé''': The Chancellor has been elaborating on a plot by the Jedi to overthrow the Senate.
:'''Sidious''': The remaining Jedi will be hunted down and defeated.
:''[Applause; the scene later cuts to the Jedi temple where many younglings have been killed]''
:'''Obi-Wan''': Not even the Younglings survived.
:'''Yoda''': Killed not by clones, this Padawan, but by a lightsaber, he was.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Who? Who could have done this?
:''[Cuts to Vader slicing and killing the Separatists, along with a battle droid, on Mustafar, then cuts to Sidious again]''
:'''Sidious''': The attempt on my life has left me scarred and deformed. But, I assure you, my resolve has never been stronger.
:''[Applause; cuts to Vader killing another Separatist and the Geonosian leader Poggle the Lesser]''
:'''Rune''': Stop! No! ''[Vader kills him, another Separatist and another battle droid as well as he has Sith eyes with him, then cuts to Sidious again]''
:'''Sidious''': In order to ensure our security and continuing stability, the Republic will be reorganized into the [[w: Galactic Empire (Star Wars)|first Galactic Empire]], for a safe and secure society.
:''[The Senators cheer]''
:'''Padmé''': So this is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause.
:''[Cuts to Vader who attempts to kill Nute Gunray for the last]''
:'''Nute''': ''[frightened for his life]'' The war is over! Lord Sidious... promised us peace! We only want to— ''[Vader kills the last of the Separatists and deactivates his lightsaber]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the massacre at the Jedi Temple]''
:'''Obi-Wan''': I've recalibrated the code, warning all surviving Jedi to stay away.
:'''Yoda''': For the clones, to discover the recalibration, a long time, it will take.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Wait, Master. There is something I must know. ''[inspects a security hologram]''
:'''Yoda''': If into the security recordings, you go, only pain, will you find.
:'''Obi-Wan''': I ''must'' know the truth, Master. ''[watches hologram of Anakin/Vader killing Jedi younglings and pledging allegiance to Sidious; Horrified]'' It can't be. It can't be!
:'''Sidious''': ''[on hologram]'' You have done well, my new apprentice. Now, Lord Vader, go and bring peace to the Empire.
:'''Obi-Wan''': I can't watch anymore. ''[deactivates hologram]''
:'''Yoda''': Destroy the Sith, we ''must''.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Send me to kill the Emperor. I will not kill Anakin.
:'''Yoda''': To fight this Lord Sidious, strong enough, you are not.
:'''Obi-Wan''': He is like my brother.
:'''Yoda''': Twisted by the dark side, young Skywalker has become. The boy you trained, ''gone'', he is, consumed by Darth Vader.
:'''Obi-Wan''': I do not know where the Emperor has sent him. I don't know where to look.
:'''Yoda''': Use your feelings, Obi-Wan, and find him, you will.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Vader''': ''[to Padmé]'' I saw your ship. What are you doing out here?
:'''Padmé''': I was so worried about you. Obi-Wan told me terrible things.
:'''Vader''': What things?
:'''Padmé''': He said you turned to the dark side. That you...killed younglings.
:'''Vader''': Obi-Wan is trying to turn you against me.
:'''Padmé''': He cares about us.
:'''Vader''': ''Us''?
:'''Padmé''': He knows. He wants to help you. Anakin, all I want is your love.
:'''Vader''': Love won't save you, Padmé. Only my new powers can do that.
:'''Padmé''': At what cost? You're a good person, don't do this!
:'''Vader''': I won't lose you the way I lost my mother. I've become more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of. And I'm doing it for you, to protect you.
:'''Padmé''': Come away with me. Help me raise our child. Leave everything else behind while we still can.
:'''Vader''': Don't you see? We don't have to run away anymore. I have brought peace to the Republic. I am more powerful than the Chancellor. I can overthrow him, and together you and I can rule the galaxy. Make things the way we want them to be.
:'''Padmé''': ''[steps away]'' I can't believe what I'm hearing. Obi-Wan was right. You've changed.
:'''Vader''': I don't want to hear any more about Obi-Wan. The Jedi turned against me, don't ''you'' turn against me.
:'''Padmé''': I don't know you anymore. Anakin, you're breaking my heart. You're going down a path I can't follow!
:'''Vader''': Because of Obi-Wan?
:'''Padmé''': Because of what you've done! What you ''plan'' to do. Stop, stop now. Come back. I love you!
:'''Vader''': ''[sees Obi-Wan]'' LIAR!!!
:'''Padmé''': No!
:'''Vader''': You're with him! You brought him here to kill me! ''[Begins Force-choking Padmé]''
:'''Obi-Wan''': Let her go, Anakin!
:'''Padmé''': Anakin...
:'''Obi-Wan''': Let... her... go!
:''[Vader releases Padmé who falls to the ground, unconscious]''
:'''Vader''': You turned her against me!
:'''Obi-Wan''': You have done that yourself!
:'''Vader''': You will not take her from me!
:'''Obi-Wan''': Your anger and your lust for power have already done that. You have allowed this Dark Lord to twist your mind, until now... until now, you have become the very thing you swore to destroy.
:'''Vader''': Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan. I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do! I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new Empire!
:'''Obi-Wan''': Your new Empire?!
:'''Vader''': Don't make me kill you.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic, to democracy!
:'''Vader''': If you're not with me, then you're my enemy!
:'''Obi-Wan''': Only a Sith deals in absolutes. I will do what I must.
:'''Vader''': You will try.
:''[Obi-Wan and Vader activate their lightsabers and engage in a fierce and furious duel]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yoda''': I hear a new apprentice you have, Emperor...or, should I call you Darth Sidious?
:'''Sidious''': Master Yoda. You survived.
:'''Yoda''': Surprised?
:'''Sidious''': Your arrogance blinds you, Master Yoda. Now you will experience the full power of the dark side! ''[fires Force lightning at Yoda, sending him flying across the room, rendering him unconscious; the scene cuts to the intensifying lightsaber duel between Darth Vader, formerly Anakin Skywalker, and Obi-Wan Kenobi on Mustafar as they battle each other, barging their way into the control room which is littered with the dead bodies of Nute Gunray and the other Separatists; scene cuts again to Darth Sidious on Coruscant as he menacingly laughs at the unconscious form of Yoda]'' I have waited a long time for this moment, my little green friend. ''[cackles evilly as Yoda regains consciousness]'' At last, the Jedi are no more!
:'''Yoda''': Not if anything to say about it, I have! ''[uses the Force to throw Sidious across the room]'' At an end, your rule is. And not short enough, it was. ''[Sidious tries to run, but Yoda blocks his way]'' If so powerful, you are...why leave? ''[activates his green lightsaber]''
:'''Sidious''': You will not stop me. Darth Vader will become more powerful than either of us! ''[activates his red lightsaber]''
:'''Yoda''': Faith in your new apprentice, misplaced, may be. As is your faith in the dark side of the Force.
:''[Yoda and Sidious engage in their own lightsaber duel]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Obi-Wan''': I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you.
:'''Vader''': I should've known the Jedi were plotting to take over!
:'''Obi-Wan''': Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is evil!
:'''Vader''': From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!
:'''Obi-Wan''': Well, then, you are lost!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Obi-Wan''': It's over, Anakin. I have the high ground.
:'''Vader''': You underestimate my power!
:'''Obi-Wan''': Don't try it.
:''[Vader jumps in front of Obi-Wan, but Obi-Wan cuts off Vader's legs and part of his remaining good arm.  Vader is now struggling near the lava river]''
:'''Obi-Wan''': ''[anguished]'' YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!!! It WAS SAID THAT YOU WOULD DESTROY THE SITH, NOT JOIN THEM!!! BRING BALANCE TO THE FORCE, NOT LEAVE IT IN DARKNESS!!! ''[picks up Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber]''
:'''Vader''': I HATE YOU!!!
:'''Obi-Wan''': You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you. ''[Vader, now too close to the lava river, catches on fire.  Obi-Wan leaves]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Vader's new mechanical body arises from the steam]''
:'''Sidious''': Lord Vader, can you hear me?
:'''Vader''': Yes, master. Where is Padmè? Is she safe? Is she alright?
:'''Sidious''': It seems, in your anger, you… killed her.
:'''Vader''': I… I couldn't have. She was alive! I felt it!! ''[Vader begins to growl as everything in the room gets destroyed as he frees himself from the metal stretcher and Sidious smiles]'' NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Padmè's death, Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Senator Bail Organa are onboard the ''Tantive III'' and are traveling to Naboo while discussing the babies' future]''
:'''Yoda''': Hidden, safe, the children must be kept.
:'''Obi-Wan''': We must take them somewhere where the Sith will not sense their presence.
:'''Yoda''': Hmm...Split up, they should be.
:'''Bail''': My wife and I will take the girl. We've always talked about adopting a baby girl. She will be loved with us.
:'''Obi-Wan''': And what of the boy?
:'''Yoda''': To Tatooine. To his family, send him.
:'''Obi-Wan''': ''I'' will take the child and watch over him.
:'''Yoda''': Until the time is right, disappear, we will. ''[Senator Organa and Obi-Wan bow and start to leave]'' Master Kenobi, wait a moment. In your solitude on Tatooine, training, I have for you.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Training?
:'''Yoda''': An old friend has learned the path to immortality. One who has returned from the netherworld of the Force...Your old master.
:'''Obi-Wan''': ''[surprised]'' ''Qui-Gon''?!
:'''Yoda''': How to commune with him, I will teach you.

== Quotes about ''Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith'' ==

* Obviously, fans would love to see a movie about Darth Vader running around killing people. I'm not telling that story, and I'm not interested in that. That's not what the movie is.
* This first trilogy is really about the father, the struggles of a father, or a man, basically, to find himself, and at the same time fall into a trap of wanting certain powers, making a pact with the devil and basically spending the rest of his life regretting it.
:* George Lucas [http://www.today.com/id/7224080#.VnXlXPkrLIU &quot;Lucas calls new ‘Star Wars’ film a ‘tearjerker’&quot;], ''Today'', Mar. 17, 2005.

* This one is a little tougher, and I think children, young children especially, should be warned that this is not your average ''Star Wars''. It's a lot darker. There's a lot more scary stuff in it. It's brutal in places, and they should be aware of that. And at least if it does come out to be a PG-13, the parents are warned to be careful of bringing tiny little kids, like five and six years old, because it might be too much. Know your kids. I have three kids—they’re all grown up now—but when they were six, I knew what I could take them to and couldn't. People think ''Star Wars'' is extremely innocent, although we do cut a lot of people in half and cut off a lot of arms.
* Anakin, as Skywalker, as a human being, was going to be extremely powerful, but he ended up losing his arms and a leg and became partly a robot. So a lot of his ability to use the Force, a lot of his powers, are curbed at this point, because, as a living form, there's not that much of him left. So his ability to be twice as good as the Emperor disappeared, and now he's maybe 20 percent less than the Emperor. So that isn’t what the Emperor had in mind. He wanted this really super guy, but that got derailed by Obi-Wan. So he finds that, with Luke, he can get a more primo version if he can turn Luke to the Dark Side. You'll see, as this goes on, Luke is faced with the same issues and practically the same scenes that Anakin is faced with. Anakin says yes and Luke says no.
:* George Lucas [http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2005/02/star-wars-george-lucas-story &quot;Lucas calls new ‘Star Wars’ film a ‘tearjerker’&quot;], Jim Windolf, ''Vanity Fair'', February, 2005.

* We knew that Padmé was going to be pregnant through the whole film, and nobody in the outside world could know that. Because she's pregnant, I wanted a soft quality to be apparent in the fabrics that were used.
** George Lucas &quot;Crafting Revenge,&quot; in &quot;An Introduction to Episode III&quot; at ''StarWars.com''; last accessed August 5, 2006.

==Taglines==
* Every Story Has A Hero, Every Hero Has A Destiny, Every Saga Has An End.

==Cast==
* [[Ewan McGregor]] — Obi-Wan Kenobi
* [[Natalie Portman]] — Senator Padmé Amidala
* [[w:Hayden Christensen|Hayden Christensen]] — Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader
* [[Ian McDiarmid]] — Supreme Chancellor Palpatine/Darth Sidious
* [[w:Samuel L. Jackson|Samuel L. Jackson]] — Mace Windu
* [[Christopher Lee]] — Count Dooku/Darth Tyranus
* [[w:Jimmy Smits|Jimmy Smits]] — Senator Bail Organa
* [[Anthony Daniels]] — C-3PO
* [[w:Kenny Baker|Kenny Baker]] — R2-D2
* [[Peter Mayhew]] — Chewbacca

===Voices===
* [[Frank Oz]] — Master Yoda
* [[w:Matthew Wood|Matthew Wood]] — General Grievous
* [[w:James Earl Jones|James Earl Jones]] — Darth Vader

----
{{Star Wars}}

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|0121766|Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith}}
*{{rotten-tomatoes|star_wars_3|Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith}}

[[Category:2005 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Prequel films]]
[[Category:Star Wars films]]
[[Category:Works based on the Faust legend]]
[[Category:Dystopian films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Cloning in films]]
[[Category:Films about revenge]]
[[Category:Screenplays by George Lucas]]
[[Category:Films directed by George Lucas]]</text>
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      <id>3158812</id>
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        <username>AdamDeanHall</username>
        <id>12402</id>
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'''''[[w:Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith|Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith]]''''' is a [[w:2005 in film|2005]] [[w:space opera|space opera]] film. It is the third and final film of the ''[[Star Wars]]'' prequel trilogy. The film is set three years after the start of the Clone Wars; the noble Jedi Knights are spread across the galaxy leading a massive clone army against the Separatists. After Chancellor Palpatine is kidnapped by the evil General Grievous, Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and his former Padawan Anakin Skywalker are dispatched to rescue him. Meanwhile, Anakin's friendship with the Chancellor arouses suspicion in the Jedi Order and proves dangerous to the Jedi Knight himself. When the evil Sith Lord, Darth Sidious, unveils a plot to take over the galaxy, the fate of Anakin, the Jedi Order, and the entire galaxy is at stake. This film was released in theaters on May 19, 2005 in United States.
:''Written and directed by [[George Lucas]].''
{{center|'''The Saga Is Complete.''' &lt;small&gt;([[#taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

==Opening crawl==
* War! The Republic is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Sith Lord, Count Dooku. There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere. &lt;br /&gt; In a stunning move, the fiendish droid leader, General Grievous, has swept into the Republic capital and kidnapped Chancellor Palpatine, leader of the Galactic Senate. &lt;br /&gt; As the Separatist Droid Army attempts to flee the besieged capital with their valuable hostage, two Jedi Knights lead a desperate mission to rescue the captive Chancellor....     

==Dialogue==
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': Chancellor.
:'''Anakin Skywalker''': Are you all right?
:'''Chancellor Palpatine''': ''[looking behind them]'' Count Dooku.
:''[Count Dooku appears. He jumps from the balcony and landed on his feet
:'''Obi-Wan''': This time, we'll do it together.
:'''Anakin''': I was about to say that.
:'''Palpatine''': Get help. You're no match for him, he's a Sith Lord.
:'''Obi-Wan''': ''[turns and smiles]'' Chancellor Palpatine, Sith Lords are our speciality. ''[takes off his robe along with Anakin]''
:'''Count Dooku''': Your swords, please. We don't want to make a mess of things in front of the Chancellor.
:'''Obi-Wan''': You won't get away this time, Dooku.
:''[They ignite their own lightsabers and begin to fight]''
:'''Dooku''': I've been looking forward to this.
:'''Anakin''': My powers have doubled since the last time we met, Count.
:'''Dooku''': Good. Twice the pride, double the fall.
:''[They fight some more]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Chancellor Palpatine and Anakin Skywalker talk about Anakin's dreams]''
:'''Palpatine''': Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?
:'''Anakin''': No.
:'''Palpatine''': I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith so powerful and so wise, he could use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians to create...life. He had such a knowledge of the dark side, he could even keep the ones he cared about...from dying.
:'''Anakin''': He could actually...save people from death?
:'''Palpatine''': The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be ''unnatural''.
:'''Anakin''': What happened to him?
:'''Palpatine''': He became so powerful, the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power...which, eventually of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death...but not himself.
:'''Anakin''': Is it possible to learn this power?
:'''Palpatine''': Not from a Jedi.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mace Windu and the Jedi Council members are very concerned about what Chancellor Palpatine has in store for the Jedi Order]''
:'''Mace Windu''': I sense a plot to destroy the Jedi. The Dark Side of the Force surrounds the Chancellor.
:'''Ki-Adi-Mundi''': If he does not give up his emergency powers after the destruction of Grievous, then he should be removed from office.
:'''Mace''': The Jedi Council would have to take control of the Senate in order to ensure a peaceful transition.
:'''Yoda''': To a dark place, this line of thought will carry us. Hmm… great care, we must take.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Anakin''': Master Windu! I must talk to you!
:'''Mace''': Skywalker! We just received word that Obi-Wan has destroyed General Grievous. We're on our way to make sure the Chancellor returns his emergency powers back to the Senate.
:'''Anakin''': He won't give up his power. I've just learned a terrible truth. I think Chancellor Palpatine is a Sith Lord.
:'''Mace''': A Sith Lord?!!
:'''Anakin''': Yes… the one we've been looking for.
:'''Mace''': How do you know this?
:'''Anakin''': He knows the ways of the Force. He's been trained to use the Dark Side.
:'''Mace''': Are you sure?
:'''Anakin''': Absolutely.
:'''Mace''': Then our worst fears have been realized. We must move quickly if the Jedi Order is to survive.
:'''Anakin''': Master, the Chancellor is very powerful. You'll need my help if you're going to arrest him.
:'''Mace''': For your own good, stay out of this affair. I sense a great deal of confusion in you, young Skywalker. There is much fear that clouds your judgment.
:'''Anakin''': I must go, Master.
:'''Mace''': No! If what you've told me is true, you will have gained my trust. But for now, remain here. Wait in the Council chamber until we return!
:'''Anakin''': ''[resigned]'' Yes, Master.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mace Windu is flung out the window to his death]''
:'''Anakin''': What have I done?
:'''Darth Sidious''': You're fulfilling your destiny, Anakin. Become my apprentice. Learn to use the dark side of the Force.
:'''Anakin''': I will do whatever you ask.
:'''Sidious''': Good!
:'''Anakin''': Just help me save Padmé's life. I can't live without her.
:'''Sidious''': To cheat death is the power only ''one'' has achieved. But if we work ''together'', I know we can discover the secret.
:'''Anakin''': I pledge myself to your teachings.
:'''Sidious''': Good. ''Good''! The Force is strong with you. A powerful Sith you will become. Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth...Vader.
:'''Darth Vader''': Thank you... my Master.
:'''Sidious''': Rise.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sidious''': Because the Council did not trust you, my young apprentice, I believe you are the only Jedi with no knowledge of this plot. When the Jedi learn what has transpired here, they will kill us… along with all the Senators.
:'''Vader''': I agree. The Council's next move will be against the Senate.
:'''Sidious''': Every single Jedi, including your friend, Obi-Wan Kenobi, is now an enemy of the Republic.
:'''Vader''': I understand, Master.
:'''Sidious''': We must move quickly. The Jedi are relentless. If they are not destroyed, it will be civil war without end. First, I want you to go to the Jedi Temple. We will catch them off balance. Do what must be done, Lord Vader. Do not hesitate. Show no mercy. Only then will you be strong enough with the Dark Side to save Padmé.
:'''Vader''': What about the other Jedi spread across the galaxy?
:'''Sidious''': Their betrayal will be dealt with. After you have killed all the Jedi in the temple, go to the Mustafar system. Wipe out Viceroy Gunray and the other Separatist leaders. Once more, the Sith will rule the galaxy! And… we shall have peace.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sidious''': And the Jedi rebellion has been foiled.
:'''Bail''': What's happened?
:'''Padmé''': The Chancellor has been elaborating on a plot by the Jedi to overthrow the Senate.
:'''Sidious''': The remaining Jedi will be hunted down and defeated.
:''[Applause; the scene later cuts to the Jedi temple where many younglings have been killed]''
:'''Obi-Wan''': Not even the Younglings survived.
:'''Yoda''': Killed not by clones, this Padawan, but by a lightsaber, he was.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Who? Who could have done this?
:''[Cuts to Vader slicing and killing the Separatists, along with a battle droid, on Mustafar, then cuts to Sidious again]''
:'''Sidious''': The attempt on my life has left me scarred and deformed. But, I assure you, my resolve has never been stronger.
:''[Applause; cuts to Vader killing another Separatist and the Geonosian leader Poggle the Lesser]''
:'''Rune''': Stop! No! ''[Vader kills him, another Separatist and another battle droid as well as he has Sith eyes with him, then cuts to Sidious again]''
:'''Sidious''': In order to ensure our security and continuing stability, the Republic will be reorganized into the [[w: Galactic Empire (Star Wars)|first Galactic Empire]], for a safe and secure society.
:''[The Senators cheer]''
:'''Padmé''': So this is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause.
:''[Cuts to Vader who attempts to kill Nute Gunray for the last]''
:'''Nute''': ''[frightened for his life]'' The war is over! Lord Sidious... promised us peace! We only want to— ''[Vader kills the last of the Separatists and deactivates his lightsaber]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the massacre at the Jedi Temple]''
:'''Obi-Wan''': I've recalibrated the code, warning all surviving Jedi to stay away.
:'''Yoda''': For the clones, to discover the recalibration, a long time, it will take.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Wait, Master. There is something I must know. ''[inspects a security hologram]''
:'''Yoda''': If into the security recordings, you go, only pain, will you find.
:'''Obi-Wan''': I ''must'' know the truth, Master. ''[watches hologram of Anakin/Vader killing Jedi younglings and pledging allegiance to Sidious; Horrified]'' It can't be. It can't be!
:'''Sidious''': ''[on hologram]'' You have done well, my new apprentice. Now, Lord Vader, go and bring peace to the Empire.
:'''Obi-Wan''': I can't watch anymore. ''[deactivates hologram]''
:'''Yoda''': Destroy the Sith, we ''must''.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Send me to kill the Emperor. I will not kill Anakin.
:'''Yoda''': To fight this Lord Sidious, strong enough, you are not.
:'''Obi-Wan''': He is like my brother.
:'''Yoda''': Twisted by the dark side, young Skywalker has become. The boy you trained, ''gone'', he is, consumed by Darth Vader.
:'''Obi-Wan''': I do not know where the Emperor has sent him. I don't know where to look.
:'''Yoda''': Use your feelings, Obi-Wan, and find him, you will.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Vader''': ''[to Padmé]'' I saw your ship. What are you doing out here?
:'''Padmé''': I was so worried about you. Obi-Wan told me terrible things.
:'''Vader''': What things?
:'''Padmé''': He said you turned to the dark side. That you...killed younglings.
:'''Vader''': Obi-Wan is trying to turn you against me.
:'''Padmé''': He cares about us.
:'''Vader''': ''Us''?
:'''Padmé''': He knows. He wants to help you. Anakin, all I want is your love.
:'''Vader''': Love won't save you, Padmé. Only my new powers can do that.
:'''Padmé''': At what cost? You're a good person, don't do this!
:'''Vader''': I won't lose you the way I lost my mother. I've become more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of. And I'm doing it for you, to protect you.
:'''Padmé''': Come away with me. Help me raise our child. Leave everything else behind while we still can.
:'''Vader''': Don't you see? We don't have to run away anymore. I have brought peace to the Republic. I am more powerful than the Chancellor. I can overthrow him, and together you and I can rule the galaxy. Make things the way we want them to be.
:'''Padmé''': ''[steps away]'' I can't believe what I'm hearing. Obi-Wan was right. You've changed.
:'''Vader''': I don't want to hear any more about Obi-Wan. The Jedi turned against me, don't ''you'' turn against me.
:'''Padmé''': I don't know you anymore. Anakin, you're breaking my heart. You're going down a path I can't follow!
:'''Vader''': Because of Obi-Wan?
:'''Padmé''': Because of what you've done! What you ''plan'' to do. Stop, stop now. Come back. I love you!
:'''Vader''': ''[sees Obi-Wan]'' LIAR!!!
:'''Padmé''': No!
:'''Vader''': You're with him! You brought him here to kill me! ''[Begins Force-choking Padmé]''
:'''Obi-Wan''': Let her go, Anakin!
:'''Padmé''': Anakin...
:'''Obi-Wan''': Let... her... go!
:''[Vader releases Padmé who falls to the ground, unconscious]''
:'''Vader''': You turned her against me!
:'''Obi-Wan''': You have done that yourself!
:'''Vader''': You will not take her from me!
:'''Obi-Wan''': Your anger and your lust for power have already done that. You have allowed this Dark Lord to twist your mind, until now... until now, you have become the very thing you swore to destroy.
:'''Vader''': Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan. I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do! I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new Empire!
:'''Obi-Wan''': Your new Empire?!
:'''Vader''': Don't make me kill you.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic, to democracy!
:'''Vader''': If you're not with me, then you're my enemy!
:'''Obi-Wan''': Only a Sith deals in absolutes. I will do what I must.
:'''Vader''': You will try.
:''[Obi-Wan and Vader activate their lightsabers and engage in a fierce and furious duel]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yoda''': I hear a new apprentice you have, Emperor...or, should I call you Darth Sidious?
:'''Sidious''': Master Yoda. You survived.
:'''Yoda''': Surprised?
:'''Sidious''': Your arrogance blinds you, Master Yoda. Now you will experience the full power of the dark side! ''[fires Force lightning at Yoda, sending him flying across the room, rendering him unconscious; the scene cuts to the intensifying lightsaber duel between Darth Vader, formerly Anakin Skywalker, and Obi-Wan Kenobi on Mustafar as they battle each other, barging their way into the control room which is littered with the dead bodies of Nute Gunray and the other Separatists; scene cuts again to Darth Sidious on Coruscant as he menacingly laughs at the unconscious form of Yoda]'' I have waited a long time for this moment, my little green friend. ''[cackles evilly as Yoda regains consciousness]'' At last, the Jedi are no more!
:'''Yoda''': Not if anything to say about it, I have! ''[uses the Force to throw Sidious across the room]'' At an end, your rule is. And not short enough, it was. ''[Sidious tries to run, but Yoda blocks his way]'' If so powerful, you are...why leave? ''[activates his green lightsaber]''
:'''Sidious''': You will not stop me. Darth Vader will become more powerful than either of us! ''[activates his red lightsaber]''
:'''Yoda''': Faith in your new apprentice, misplaced, may be. As is your faith in the dark side of the Force.
:''[Yoda and Sidious engage in their own lightsaber duel]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Obi-Wan''': I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you.
:'''Vader''': I should've known the Jedi were plotting to take over!
:'''Obi-Wan''': Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is evil!
:'''Vader''': From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!
:'''Obi-Wan''': Well, then, you are lost!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Obi-Wan''': It's over, Anakin. I have the high ground.
:'''Vader''': You underestimate my power!
:'''Obi-Wan''': Don't try it.
:''[Vader jumps in front of Obi-Wan, but Obi-Wan cuts off Vader's legs and part of his remaining good arm.  Vader is now struggling near the lava river]''
:'''Obi-Wan''': ''[anguished]'' You were the Chosen One!!! It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them!!! Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!!! ''[picks up Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber]''
:'''Vader''': I HATE YOU!!!
:'''Obi-Wan''': You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you. ''[Vader, now too close to the lava river, catches on fire.  Obi-Wan leaves]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Vader's new mechanical body arises from the steam]''
:'''Sidious''': Lord Vader, can you hear me?
:'''Vader''': Yes, master. Where is Padmè? Is she safe? Is she alright?
:'''Sidious''': It seems, in your anger, you… killed her.
:'''Vader''': I… I couldn't have. She was alive! I felt it!! ''[Vader begins to growl as everything in the room gets destroyed as he frees himself from the metal stretcher and Sidious smiles]'' NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Padmè's death, Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Senator Bail Organa are onboard the ''Tantive III'' and are traveling to Naboo while discussing the babies' future]''
:'''Yoda''': Hidden, safe, the children must be kept.
:'''Obi-Wan''': We must take them somewhere where the Sith will not sense their presence.
:'''Yoda''': Hmm...Split up, they should be.
:'''Bail''': My wife and I will take the girl. We've always talked about adopting a baby girl. She will be loved with us.
:'''Obi-Wan''': And what of the boy?
:'''Yoda''': To Tatooine. To his family, send him.
:'''Obi-Wan''': ''I'' will take the child and watch over him.
:'''Yoda''': Until the time is right, disappear, we will. ''[Senator Organa and Obi-Wan bow and start to leave]'' Master Kenobi, wait a moment. In your solitude on Tatooine, training, I have for you.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Training?
:'''Yoda''': An old friend has learned the path to immortality. One who has returned from the netherworld of the Force...Your old master.
:'''Obi-Wan''': ''[surprised]'' ''Qui-Gon''?!
:'''Yoda''': How to commune with him, I will teach you.

== Quotes about ''Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith'' ==

* Obviously, fans would love to see a movie about Darth Vader running around killing people. I'm not telling that story, and I'm not interested in that. That's not what the movie is.
* This first trilogy is really about the father, the struggles of a father, or a man, basically, to find himself, and at the same time fall into a trap of wanting certain powers, making a pact with the devil and basically spending the rest of his life regretting it.
:* George Lucas [http://www.today.com/id/7224080#.VnXlXPkrLIU &quot;Lucas calls new ‘Star Wars’ film a ‘tearjerker’&quot;], ''Today'', Mar. 17, 2005.

* This one is a little tougher, and I think children, young children especially, should be warned that this is not your average ''Star Wars''. It's a lot darker. There's a lot more scary stuff in it. It's brutal in places, and they should be aware of that. And at least if it does come out to be a PG-13, the parents are warned to be careful of bringing tiny little kids, like five and six years old, because it might be too much. Know your kids. I have three kids—they’re all grown up now—but when they were six, I knew what I could take them to and couldn't. People think ''Star Wars'' is extremely innocent, although we do cut a lot of people in half and cut off a lot of arms.
* Anakin, as Skywalker, as a human being, was going to be extremely powerful, but he ended up losing his arms and a leg and became partly a robot. So a lot of his ability to use the Force, a lot of his powers, are curbed at this point, because, as a living form, there's not that much of him left. So his ability to be twice as good as the Emperor disappeared, and now he's maybe 20 percent less than the Emperor. So that isn’t what the Emperor had in mind. He wanted this really super guy, but that got derailed by Obi-Wan. So he finds that, with Luke, he can get a more primo version if he can turn Luke to the Dark Side. You'll see, as this goes on, Luke is faced with the same issues and practically the same scenes that Anakin is faced with. Anakin says yes and Luke says no.
:* George Lucas [http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2005/02/star-wars-george-lucas-story &quot;Lucas calls new ‘Star Wars’ film a ‘tearjerker’&quot;], Jim Windolf, ''Vanity Fair'', February, 2005.

* We knew that Padmé was going to be pregnant through the whole film, and nobody in the outside world could know that. Because she's pregnant, I wanted a soft quality to be apparent in the fabrics that were used.
** George Lucas &quot;Crafting Revenge,&quot; in &quot;An Introduction to Episode III&quot; at ''StarWars.com''; last accessed August 5, 2006.

==Taglines==
* Every Story Has A Hero, Every Hero Has A Destiny, Every Saga Has An End.

==Cast==
* [[Ewan McGregor]] — Obi-Wan Kenobi
* [[Natalie Portman]] — Senator Padmé Amidala
* [[w:Hayden Christensen|Hayden Christensen]] — Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader
* [[Ian McDiarmid]] — Supreme Chancellor Palpatine/Darth Sidious
* [[w:Samuel L. Jackson|Samuel L. Jackson]] — Mace Windu
* [[Christopher Lee]] — Count Dooku/Darth Tyranus
* [[w:Jimmy Smits|Jimmy Smits]] — Senator Bail Organa
* [[Anthony Daniels]] — C-3PO
* [[w:Kenny Baker|Kenny Baker]] — R2-D2
* [[Peter Mayhew]] — Chewbacca

===Voices===
* [[Frank Oz]] — Master Yoda
* [[w:Matthew Wood|Matthew Wood]] — General Grievous
* [[w:James Earl Jones|James Earl Jones]] — Darth Vader

----
{{Star Wars}}

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|0121766|Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith}}
*{{rotten-tomatoes|star_wars_3|Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith}}

[[Category:2005 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Prequel films]]
[[Category:Star Wars films]]
[[Category:Works based on the Faust legend]]
[[Category:Dystopian films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Cloning in films]]
[[Category:Films about revenge]]
[[Category:Screenplays by George Lucas]]
[[Category:Films directed by George Lucas]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158813</id>
      <parentid>3158812</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T11:47:02Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>AdamDeanHall</username>
        <id>12402</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Added in a space between the lines.</comment>
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'''''[[w:Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith|Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith]]''''' is a [[w:2005 in film|2005]] [[w:space opera|space opera]] film. It is the third and final film of the ''[[Star Wars]]'' prequel trilogy. The film is set three years after the start of the Clone Wars; the noble Jedi Knights are spread across the galaxy leading a massive clone army against the Separatists. After Chancellor Palpatine is kidnapped by the evil General Grievous, Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and his former Padawan Anakin Skywalker are dispatched to rescue him. Meanwhile, Anakin's friendship with the Chancellor arouses suspicion in the Jedi Order and proves dangerous to the Jedi Knight himself. When the evil Sith Lord, Darth Sidious, unveils a plot to take over the galaxy, the fate of Anakin, the Jedi Order, and the entire galaxy is at stake. This film was released in theaters on May 19, 2005 in United States.
:''Written and directed by [[George Lucas]].''
{{center|'''The Saga Is Complete.''' &lt;small&gt;([[#taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

==Opening crawl==
* War! The Republic is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Sith Lord, Count Dooku. There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere. &lt;br /&gt; In a stunning move, the fiendish droid leader, General Grievous, has swept into the Republic capital and kidnapped Chancellor Palpatine, leader of the Galactic Senate. &lt;br /&gt; As the Separatist Droid Army attempts to flee the besieged capital with their valuable hostage, two Jedi Knights lead a desperate mission to rescue the captive Chancellor....     

==Dialogue==
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': Chancellor.
:'''Anakin Skywalker''': Are you all right?
:'''Chancellor Palpatine''': ''[looking behind them]'' Count Dooku.
:''[Count Dooku appears. He jumps from the balcony and landed on his feet
:'''Obi-Wan''': This time, we'll do it together.
:'''Anakin''': I was about to say that.
:'''Palpatine''': Get help. You're no match for him, he's a Sith Lord.
:'''Obi-Wan''': ''[turns and smiles]'' Chancellor Palpatine, Sith Lords are our speciality. ''[takes off his robe along with Anakin]''
:'''Count Dooku''': Your swords, please. We don't want to make a mess of things in front of the Chancellor.
:'''Obi-Wan''': You won't get away this time, Dooku.
:''[They ignite their own lightsabers and begin to fight]''
:'''Dooku''': I've been looking forward to this.
:'''Anakin''': My powers have doubled since the last time we met, Count.
:'''Dooku''': Good. Twice the pride, double the fall.
:''[They fight some more]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Chancellor Palpatine and Anakin Skywalker talk about Anakin's dreams]''
:'''Palpatine''': Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?
:'''Anakin''': No.
:'''Palpatine''': I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith so powerful and so wise, he could use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians to create... life. He had such a knowledge of the dark side, he could even keep the ones he cared about... from dying.
:'''Anakin''': He could actually... save people from death?
:'''Palpatine''': The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be ''unnatural''.
:'''Anakin''': What happened to him?
:'''Palpatine''': He became so powerful, the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power... which, eventually of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death... but not himself.
:'''Anakin''': Is it possible to learn this power?
:'''Palpatine''': Not from a Jedi.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mace Windu and the Jedi Council members are very concerned about what Chancellor Palpatine has in store for the Jedi Order]''
:'''Mace Windu''': I sense a plot to destroy the Jedi. The Dark Side of the Force surrounds the Chancellor.
:'''Ki-Adi-Mundi''': If he does not give up his emergency powers after the destruction of Grievous, then he should be removed from office.
:'''Mace''': The Jedi Council would have to take control of the Senate in order to ensure a peaceful transition.
:'''Yoda''': To a dark place, this line of thought will carry us. Hmm… great care, we must take.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Anakin''': Master Windu! I must talk to you!
:'''Mace''': Skywalker! We just received word that Obi-Wan has destroyed General Grievous. We're on our way to make sure the Chancellor returns his emergency powers back to the Senate.
:'''Anakin''': He won't give up his power. I've just learned a terrible truth. I think Chancellor Palpatine is a Sith Lord.
:'''Mace''': A Sith Lord?!!
:'''Anakin''': Yes… the one we've been looking for.
:'''Mace''': How do you know this?
:'''Anakin''': He knows the ways of the Force. He's been trained to use the Dark Side.
:'''Mace''': Are you sure?
:'''Anakin''': Absolutely.
:'''Mace''': Then our worst fears have been realized. We must move quickly if the Jedi Order is to survive.
:'''Anakin''': Master, the Chancellor is very powerful. You'll need my help if you're going to arrest him.
:'''Mace''': For your own good, stay out of this affair. I sense a great deal of confusion in you, young Skywalker. There is much fear that clouds your judgment.
:'''Anakin''': I must go, Master.
:'''Mace''': No! If what you've told me is true, you will have gained my trust. But for now, remain here. Wait in the Council chamber until we return!
:'''Anakin''': ''[resigned]'' Yes, Master.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mace Windu is flung out the window to his death]''
:'''Anakin''': What have I done?
:'''Darth Sidious''': You're fulfilling your destiny, Anakin. Become my apprentice. Learn to use the dark side of the Force.
:'''Anakin''': I will do whatever you ask.
:'''Sidious''': Good!
:'''Anakin''': Just help me save Padmé's life. I can't live without her.
:'''Sidious''': To cheat death is the power only ''one'' has achieved. But if we work ''together'', I know we can discover the secret.
:'''Anakin''': I pledge myself to your teachings.
:'''Sidious''': Good. ''Good''! The Force is strong with you. A powerful Sith you will become. Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth...Vader.
:'''Darth Vader''': Thank you... my Master.
:'''Sidious''': Rise.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sidious''': Because the Council did not trust you, my young apprentice, I believe you are the only Jedi with no knowledge of this plot. When the Jedi learn what has transpired here, they will kill us… along with all the Senators.
:'''Vader''': I agree. The Council's next move will be against the Senate.
:'''Sidious''': Every single Jedi, including your friend, Obi-Wan Kenobi, is now an enemy of the Republic.
:'''Vader''': I understand, Master.
:'''Sidious''': We must move quickly. The Jedi are relentless. If they are not destroyed, it will be civil war without end. First, I want you to go to the Jedi Temple. We will catch them off balance. Do what must be done, Lord Vader. Do not hesitate. Show no mercy. Only then will you be strong enough with the Dark Side to save Padmé.
:'''Vader''': What about the other Jedi spread across the galaxy?
:'''Sidious''': Their betrayal will be dealt with. After you have killed all the Jedi in the temple, go to the Mustafar system. Wipe out Viceroy Gunray and the other Separatist leaders. Once more, the Sith will rule the galaxy! And… we shall have peace.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sidious''': And the Jedi rebellion has been foiled.
:'''Bail''': What's happened?
:'''Padmé''': The Chancellor has been elaborating on a plot by the Jedi to overthrow the Senate.
:'''Sidious''': The remaining Jedi will be hunted down and defeated.
:''[Applause; the scene later cuts to the Jedi temple where many younglings have been killed]''
:'''Obi-Wan''': Not even the Younglings survived.
:'''Yoda''': Killed not by clones, this Padawan, but by a lightsaber, he was.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Who? Who could have done this?
:''[Cuts to Vader slicing and killing the Separatists, along with a battle droid, on Mustafar, then cuts to Sidious again]''
:'''Sidious''': The attempt on my life has left me scarred and deformed. But, I assure you, my resolve has never been stronger.
:''[Applause; cuts to Vader killing another Separatist and the Geonosian leader Poggle the Lesser]''
:'''Rune''': Stop! No! ''[Vader kills him, another Separatist and another battle droid as well as he has Sith eyes with him, then cuts to Sidious again]''
:'''Sidious''': In order to ensure our security and continuing stability, the Republic will be reorganized into the [[w: Galactic Empire (Star Wars)|first Galactic Empire]], for a safe and secure society.
:''[The Senators cheer]''
:'''Padmé''': So this is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause.
:''[Cuts to Vader who attempts to kill Nute Gunray for the last]''
:'''Nute''': ''[frightened for his life]'' The war is over! Lord Sidious... promised us peace! We only want to— ''[Vader kills the last of the Separatists and deactivates his lightsaber]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the massacre at the Jedi Temple]''
:'''Obi-Wan''': I've recalibrated the code, warning all surviving Jedi to stay away.
:'''Yoda''': For the clones, to discover the recalibration, a long time, it will take.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Wait, Master. There is something I must know. ''[inspects a security hologram]''
:'''Yoda''': If into the security recordings, you go, only pain, will you find.
:'''Obi-Wan''': I ''must'' know the truth, Master. ''[watches hologram of Anakin/Vader killing Jedi younglings and pledging allegiance to Sidious; Horrified]'' It can't be. It can't be!
:'''Sidious''': ''[on hologram]'' You have done well, my new apprentice. Now, Lord Vader, go and bring peace to the Empire.
:'''Obi-Wan''': I can't watch anymore. ''[deactivates hologram]''
:'''Yoda''': Destroy the Sith, we ''must''.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Send me to kill the Emperor. I will not kill Anakin.
:'''Yoda''': To fight this Lord Sidious, strong enough, you are not.
:'''Obi-Wan''': He is like my brother.
:'''Yoda''': Twisted by the dark side, young Skywalker has become. The boy you trained, ''gone'', he is, consumed by Darth Vader.
:'''Obi-Wan''': I do not know where the Emperor has sent him. I don't know where to look.
:'''Yoda''': Use your feelings, Obi-Wan, and find him, you will.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Vader''': ''[to Padmé]'' I saw your ship. What are you doing out here?
:'''Padmé''': I was so worried about you. Obi-Wan told me terrible things.
:'''Vader''': What things?
:'''Padmé''': He said you turned to the dark side. That you...killed younglings.
:'''Vader''': Obi-Wan is trying to turn you against me.
:'''Padmé''': He cares about us.
:'''Vader''': ''Us''?
:'''Padmé''': He knows. He wants to help you. Anakin, all I want is your love.
:'''Vader''': Love won't save you, Padmé. Only my new powers can do that.
:'''Padmé''': At what cost? You're a good person, don't do this!
:'''Vader''': I won't lose you the way I lost my mother. I've become more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of. And I'm doing it for you, to protect you.
:'''Padmé''': Come away with me. Help me raise our child. Leave everything else behind while we still can.
:'''Vader''': Don't you see? We don't have to run away anymore. I have brought peace to the Republic. I am more powerful than the Chancellor. I can overthrow him, and together you and I can rule the galaxy. Make things the way we want them to be.
:'''Padmé''': ''[steps away]'' I can't believe what I'm hearing. Obi-Wan was right. You've changed.
:'''Vader''': I don't want to hear any more about Obi-Wan. The Jedi turned against me, don't ''you'' turn against me.
:'''Padmé''': I don't know you anymore. Anakin, you're breaking my heart. You're going down a path I can't follow!
:'''Vader''': Because of Obi-Wan?
:'''Padmé''': Because of what you've done! What you ''plan'' to do. Stop, stop now. Come back. I love you!
:'''Vader''': ''[sees Obi-Wan]'' LIAR!!!
:'''Padmé''': No!
:'''Vader''': You're with him! You brought him here to kill me! ''[Begins Force-choking Padmé]''
:'''Obi-Wan''': Let her go, Anakin!
:'''Padmé''': Anakin...
:'''Obi-Wan''': Let... her... go!
:''[Vader releases Padmé who falls to the ground, unconscious]''
:'''Vader''': You turned her against me!
:'''Obi-Wan''': You have done that yourself!
:'''Vader''': You will not take her from me!
:'''Obi-Wan''': Your anger and your lust for power have already done that. You have allowed this Dark Lord to twist your mind, until now... until now, you have become the very thing you swore to destroy.
:'''Vader''': Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan. I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do! I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new Empire!
:'''Obi-Wan''': Your new Empire?!
:'''Vader''': Don't make me kill you.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic, to democracy!
:'''Vader''': If you're not with me, then you're my enemy!
:'''Obi-Wan''': Only a Sith deals in absolutes. I will do what I must.
:'''Vader''': You will try.
:''[Obi-Wan and Vader activate their lightsabers and engage in a fierce and furious duel]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yoda''': I hear a new apprentice you have, Emperor...or, should I call you Darth Sidious?
:'''Sidious''': Master Yoda. You survived.
:'''Yoda''': Surprised?
:'''Sidious''': Your arrogance blinds you, Master Yoda. Now you will experience the full power of the dark side! ''[fires Force lightning at Yoda, sending him flying across the room, rendering him unconscious; the scene cuts to the intensifying lightsaber duel between Darth Vader, formerly Anakin Skywalker, and Obi-Wan Kenobi on Mustafar as they battle each other, barging their way into the control room which is littered with the dead bodies of Nute Gunray and the other Separatists; scene cuts again to Darth Sidious on Coruscant as he menacingly laughs at the unconscious form of Yoda]'' I have waited a long time for this moment, my little green friend. ''[cackles evilly as Yoda regains consciousness]'' At last, the Jedi are no more!
:'''Yoda''': Not if anything to say about it, I have! ''[uses the Force to throw Sidious across the room]'' At an end, your rule is. And not short enough, it was. ''[Sidious tries to run, but Yoda blocks his way]'' If so powerful, you are...why leave? ''[activates his green lightsaber]''
:'''Sidious''': You will not stop me. Darth Vader will become more powerful than either of us! ''[activates his red lightsaber]''
:'''Yoda''': Faith in your new apprentice, misplaced, may be. As is your faith in the dark side of the Force.
:''[Yoda and Sidious engage in their own lightsaber duel]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Obi-Wan''': I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you.
:'''Vader''': I should've known the Jedi were plotting to take over!
:'''Obi-Wan''': Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is evil!
:'''Vader''': From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!
:'''Obi-Wan''': Well, then, you are lost!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Obi-Wan''': It's over, Anakin. I have the high ground.
:'''Vader''': You underestimate my power!
:'''Obi-Wan''': Don't try it.
:''[Vader jumps in front of Obi-Wan, but Obi-Wan cuts off Vader's legs and part of his remaining good arm.  Vader is now struggling near the lava river]''
:'''Obi-Wan''': ''[anguished]'' You were the Chosen One!!! It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them!!! Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!!! ''[picks up Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber]''
:'''Vader''': I HATE YOU!!!
:'''Obi-Wan''': You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you. ''[Vader, now too close to the lava river, catches on fire.  Obi-Wan leaves]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Vader's new mechanical body arises from the steam]''
:'''Sidious''': Lord Vader, can you hear me?
:'''Vader''': Yes, master. Where is Padmè? Is she safe? Is she alright?
:'''Sidious''': It seems, in your anger, you… killed her.
:'''Vader''': I… I couldn't have. She was alive! I felt it!! ''[Vader begins to growl as everything in the room gets destroyed as he frees himself from the metal stretcher and Sidious smiles]'' NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Padmè's death, Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Senator Bail Organa are onboard the ''Tantive III'' and are traveling to Naboo while discussing the babies' future]''
:'''Yoda''': Hidden, safe, the children must be kept.
:'''Obi-Wan''': We must take them somewhere where the Sith will not sense their presence.
:'''Yoda''': Hmm...Split up, they should be.
:'''Bail''': My wife and I will take the girl. We've always talked about adopting a baby girl. She will be loved with us.
:'''Obi-Wan''': And what of the boy?
:'''Yoda''': To Tatooine. To his family, send him.
:'''Obi-Wan''': ''I'' will take the child and watch over him.
:'''Yoda''': Until the time is right, disappear, we will. ''[Senator Organa and Obi-Wan bow and start to leave]'' Master Kenobi, wait a moment. In your solitude on Tatooine, training, I have for you.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Training?
:'''Yoda''': An old friend has learned the path to immortality. One who has returned from the netherworld of the Force...Your old master.
:'''Obi-Wan''': ''[surprised]'' ''Qui-Gon''?!
:'''Yoda''': How to commune with him, I will teach you.

== Quotes about ''Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith'' ==

* Obviously, fans would love to see a movie about Darth Vader running around killing people. I'm not telling that story, and I'm not interested in that. That's not what the movie is.
* This first trilogy is really about the father, the struggles of a father, or a man, basically, to find himself, and at the same time fall into a trap of wanting certain powers, making a pact with the devil and basically spending the rest of his life regretting it.
:* George Lucas [http://www.today.com/id/7224080#.VnXlXPkrLIU &quot;Lucas calls new ‘Star Wars’ film a ‘tearjerker’&quot;], ''Today'', Mar. 17, 2005.

* This one is a little tougher, and I think children, young children especially, should be warned that this is not your average ''Star Wars''. It's a lot darker. There's a lot more scary stuff in it. It's brutal in places, and they should be aware of that. And at least if it does come out to be a PG-13, the parents are warned to be careful of bringing tiny little kids, like five and six years old, because it might be too much. Know your kids. I have three kids—they’re all grown up now—but when they were six, I knew what I could take them to and couldn't. People think ''Star Wars'' is extremely innocent, although we do cut a lot of people in half and cut off a lot of arms.
* Anakin, as Skywalker, as a human being, was going to be extremely powerful, but he ended up losing his arms and a leg and became partly a robot. So a lot of his ability to use the Force, a lot of his powers, are curbed at this point, because, as a living form, there's not that much of him left. So his ability to be twice as good as the Emperor disappeared, and now he's maybe 20 percent less than the Emperor. So that isn’t what the Emperor had in mind. He wanted this really super guy, but that got derailed by Obi-Wan. So he finds that, with Luke, he can get a more primo version if he can turn Luke to the Dark Side. You'll see, as this goes on, Luke is faced with the same issues and practically the same scenes that Anakin is faced with. Anakin says yes and Luke says no.
:* George Lucas [http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2005/02/star-wars-george-lucas-story &quot;Lucas calls new ‘Star Wars’ film a ‘tearjerker’&quot;], Jim Windolf, ''Vanity Fair'', February, 2005.

* We knew that Padmé was going to be pregnant through the whole film, and nobody in the outside world could know that. Because she's pregnant, I wanted a soft quality to be apparent in the fabrics that were used.
** George Lucas &quot;Crafting Revenge,&quot; in &quot;An Introduction to Episode III&quot; at ''StarWars.com''; last accessed August 5, 2006.

==Taglines==
* Every Story Has A Hero, Every Hero Has A Destiny, Every Saga Has An End.

==Cast==
* [[Ewan McGregor]] — Obi-Wan Kenobi
* [[Natalie Portman]] — Senator Padmé Amidala
* [[w:Hayden Christensen|Hayden Christensen]] — Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader
* [[Ian McDiarmid]] — Supreme Chancellor Palpatine/Darth Sidious
* [[w:Samuel L. Jackson|Samuel L. Jackson]] — Mace Windu
* [[Christopher Lee]] — Count Dooku/Darth Tyranus
* [[w:Jimmy Smits|Jimmy Smits]] — Senator Bail Organa
* [[Anthony Daniels]] — C-3PO
* [[w:Kenny Baker|Kenny Baker]] — R2-D2
* [[Peter Mayhew]] — Chewbacca

===Voices===
* [[Frank Oz]] — Master Yoda
* [[w:Matthew Wood|Matthew Wood]] — General Grievous
* [[w:James Earl Jones|James Earl Jones]] — Darth Vader

----
{{Star Wars}}

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|0121766|Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith}}
*{{rotten-tomatoes|star_wars_3|Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith}}

[[Category:2005 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Prequel films]]
[[Category:Star Wars films]]
[[Category:Works based on the Faust legend]]
[[Category:Dystopian films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Cloning in films]]
[[Category:Films about revenge]]
[[Category:Screenplays by George Lucas]]
[[Category:Films directed by George Lucas]]</text>
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    <title>The Empire Strikes Back</title>
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      <comment>Reverted edit by [[User:24.42.179.206|24.42.179.206]] ([[User talk:24.42.179.206|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/24.42.179.206|contributions]]) to last version by AdamDeanHall</comment>
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'''''[[w:The Empire Strikes Back|The Empire Strikes Back]]''''' (also known as '''''Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back''''') is a [[w:1980 in film|1980]] space fantasy film. It is the second film of the original ''[[Star Wars]]'' trilogy. The film is set three years after the destruction of the Death Star. Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Princess Leia Organa are being pursued by the evil Darth Vader and the elite forces of the Galactic Empire. While Han and Leia are chased across the galaxy by the Empire, Luke studies the Force under the training of Jedi master Yoda. Meanwhile, Vader secretly plots a trap for Luke that will lead to a vicious confrontation and a shocking revelation.
:''Directed by [[w:Irvin Kershner|Irvin Kershner]]. Written by [[George Lucas]], [[Leigh Brackett]] and [[w:Lawrence Kasdan|Lawrence Kasdan]], based on a story by [[George Lucas]].''
{{center|'''The Adventure Continues…''' &lt;small&gt;([[#Taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

==Opening crawl==
* It is a dark time for the Rebellion. Although the Death Star has been destroyed, Imperial troops have driven the Rebel forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy. &lt;br /&gt; Evading the dreaded Imperial Starfleet, a group of freedom fighters led by Luke Skywalker have established a new secret base on the remote ice world of Hoth. &lt;br /&gt; The evil lord Darth Vader, obsessed with finding young Skywalker, has dispatched thousands of remote probes into the far reaches of space....

==Dialogue==
:''[Luke is stranded out in a harsh snowstorm.]''
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': ''[voice comes out of nowhere]'' Luke. Luke!
:'''Luke Skywalker''': ''[weakly]'' Ben?
:'''Obi-Wan''': You will go to the Dagobah system.
:'''Luke ''': Dagobah system?
:'''Obi-Wan''': There you will learn from Yoda, the Jedi master who instructed me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Aboard the ''Executor''-class Star Dreadnought ''Executor'', Captain Firmus Piett reports to Admiral Kendal Ozzel.]''
:'''Capt. Firmus Piett''': Admiral!
:'''Adm. Kendel Ozzel''': Yes, Captain?
:'''Piett''': I think we've got something, sir. The report is only a fragment, from a probe droid in the Hoth system, but it's the best lead we have.
:'''Ozzel''': ''[growing impatient]'' We have ''thousands'' of probe droids searching the galaxy. I want proof, not leads.
:'''Piett''': The visuals indicate life readings.
:'''Ozzel''': It could mean anything! If we followed up every lead...
:'''Piett''': But sir, the Hoth system is supposed to be devoid of human forms.
:'''Darth Vader''': ''[approaching the two officers after hearing their conversation]'' You've found something?
:'''Piett''': Yes, my Lord. ''[shows Vader the location of the power generator on Hoth]''
:'''Vader''': That's it. The Rebels are there.
:'''Ozzel''': My Lord, there are so many uncharted settlements. It could be smugglers. It could be...
:'''Vader''': That is the system. And I am sure Skywalker is with them. Set your course for the Hoth system! ''[turns to General Maximilian Veers]'' General Veers, prepare your men.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Darth Vader emerges from an egg-like meditation chamber to receive a report from [[W:General Maximilian Veers|General Maximilian Veers]].]''
:'''Vader''': What is it, General?
:'''Gen. Maximilian Veers''': My Lord, the fleet has moved out of lightspeed. Com-Scan has detected an energy field protecting an area of the sixth planet of the Hoth system. The field is strong enough to deflect any bombardment.
:'''Vader''': The Rebels are alerted to our presence. Admiral Ozzel came out of lightspeed too close to the system.
:'''Veers''': He felt surprise was wiser–
:'''Vader''': ''[angrily]'' He is as clumsy as he is stupid. General, prepare your troops for a surface attack.
:'''Veers''': Yes, my Lord. ''[bows and leaves quickly]''
:''[Darth Vader turns to a nearby screen and calls up [[w:List of minor Star Wars villains#Admiral Ozzel|Admiral Kendel Ozzel]] and [[W:Admiral Piett|Captain Firmus Piett]].]''
:'''Ozzel''': Lord Vader, the fleet has moved out of lightspeed and we're preparing to– ''[begins choking]''
:'''Vader''': You have failed me for the last time, Admiral. Captain Piett.
:'''Piett''': ''[nervously]'' Yes, my Lord.
:'''Vader''': Make ready to land our troops beyond their energy field, then deploy the fleet so that nothing gets off the system. You are in command now, ''Admiral'' Piett.
:'''Piett''': ''[sees a dead Ozzel collapse]'' Thank you, Lord Vader.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Vader''': ''[kneeling before the Emperor's hologram]'' What is thy bidding, my master?
:'''The Emperor''': There is a great disturbance in the Force.
:'''Vader''': I have felt it.
:'''The Emperor''': We have a new enemy. The young Rebel who destroyed the Death Star. I have no doubt this boy is the offspring of Anakin Skywalker.
:'''Vader''': How is that possible?
:'''The Emperor''': Search your feelings, Lord Vader. You will know it to be true. He could destroy us.
:'''Vader''': He's just a boy. Obi-Wan can no longer help him.
:'''The Emperor''': The Force is strong with him. The son of Skywalker must not become a Jedi.
:'''Vader''': If he could be turned, he would become a powerful ally.
:'''The Emperor''': ''[intrigued]'' Yes... He would be a great asset. Can it be done?
:'''Vader''': He will join us or die, Master.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Aboard the ''Executor''-class Star Dreadnought ''Executor'', Darth Vader is giving the bounty hunters instructions on tracking down the ''Millennium Falcon'']''
:'''Vader''': There will be a substantial reward for the one who finds the ''Millennium Falcon''. You are free to use any methods necessary, but I want them alive. ''[turns to Boba Fett]'' No disintegrations.
:'''Boba Fett''': As you wish.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Luke sees his X-wing is about to sink into the bog]''
:'''Luke''': Oh, no! We'll never get it out now!
:'''Yoda''': So certain, are you? Always with you, it cannot be done. Hear you nothing that I say?
:'''Luke''': Master, moving stones around is one thing, but this is... totally different!
:'''Yoda''': No! ''No'' different! Only different in your mind. You must ''unlearn'' what you have learned.
:'''Luke''': All right, I'll give it a try.
:'''Yoda''': No! Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try.
:''[Luke tries to use the Force to levitate his X-wing out of the bog, but fails in his attempt.]''
:'''Luke''': I can't. It's too big.
:'''Yoda''': Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere. Yes. Even between the land and the ship.
:'''Luke''': You want the impossible. ''[sees Yoda use the Force to levitate the X-wing out of the bog and gets flustered when he does it]'' I don't... I don't believe it!
:'''Yoda''': That is why you fail.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yoda''': Luke! You must complete the training.
:'''Luke''': I can't keep the vision out of my head. They're my friends. I've gotta help them.
:'''Yoda''': You must not go!
:'''Luke''': But Han and Leia will die if I don't.
:'''Obi-Wan''': You don't know that. ''[appears in spirit]'' Even Yoda cannot see their fate.
:'''Luke''': But I can help them! I feel the Force.
:'''Obi-Wan''': But you cannot control it. This is a dangerous time for you, when you will be tempted by the dark side of the Force.
:'''Yoda''': Yes, yes! To Obi-Wan you listen. The cave! Remember your failure at the cave!
:'''Luke''': But I've learned so much since then. Master Yoda, I promise to return and finish what I've begun. You have my word.
:'''Obi-Wan''': It is you and your abilities the Emperor wants. That is why your friends are made to suffer.
:'''Luke''': That's why I have to go.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Luke, I don't want to lose you to the Emperor the way I lost Vader.
:'''Luke''': You won't.
:'''Yoda''': Stopped they must be. On this all depends. Only a fully trained Jedi Knight with the Force as his ally will conquer Vader and his Emperor. If you end your training now, if you choose the quick and easy path as Vader did, you will become an agent of evil.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Patience!
:'''Luke''': And sacrifice Han and Leia?
:'''Yoda''': If you honor what they fight for, yes.
:'''Obi-Wan''': If you choose to face Vader, you will do it alone. I cannot interfere.
:'''Luke''': I understand. R2, fire up the converters.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Luke. Don't give in to hate. That leads to the dark side.
:'''Yoda''': Strong is Vader. Mind what you have learned. Save you it can.
:'''Luke''': I will, and I'll return. I promise. ''[flies off with X-wing]''
:'''Yoda''': Told you I did. Reckless is he. Now matters are worse.
:'''Obi-Wan''': That boy is our last hope.
:'''Yoda''': No. There is another.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Vader''': You may take Captain Solo to Jabba the Hutt after I have Skywalker.
:'''Boba Fett''': He's no good to me dead.
:'''Vader''': He will not be permanently damaged.
:'''Lando Calrissian''': Lord Vader, what about Leia and the Wookiee?
:'''Vader''': They must never again leave this city.
:'''Lando''': ''[angry]'' That was never a condition of our agreement, nor was giving Han to this bounty hunter!
:'''Vader''': Perhaps you think you are being treated unfairly?
:'''Lando''': ''[pauses]'' No.
:'''Vader''': Good. It would be unfortunate if I had to leave a garrison here.
:'''Lando''': ''[under his breath]'' This deal is getting worse all the time.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vader''': ''[referring to the carbon freezing chamber]'' This facility is crude, but it should be adequate to freeze Skywalker for his journey to the Emperor.
:'''Imperial officer''': Lord Vader! Ship approaching, X-wing class!
:'''Vader''': Good. Monitor Skywalker and allow him to land.
:'''Lando''': ''[referring to Luke Skywalker]'' Lord Vader, we only use this facility for carbon freezing. You put him in there, it might kill him!
:'''Vader''': I do not want the Emperor's prize damaged. We will test it… on Captain Solo.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Han kisses Leia and is taken by stormtroopers to the carbon-freezing chamber.]''
:'''Leia Organa''': I love you.
:'''Han Solo''': I know.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Vader''': You are beaten. It is useless to resist. Don't let yourself be destroyed as Obi-Wan did.
:''[They continue dueling. Luke hits Vader on the shoulder with his lightsaber. Vader returns the favor by severing Luke's hand with his lightsaber. Luke screams in pain.]''
:'''Vader''': There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you. ''[deactivates his lightsaber]'' Luke, you do not yet realize your importance. You've only begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict, and bring order to the galaxy!
:'''Luke''': ''[wincing]'' I'll never join you!
:'''Vader''': If only you knew the power of the dark side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.
:'''Luke''': He told me enough. He told me you killed him.
:'''Vader''': No. ''I'' am your father.
:'''Luke''': ''[shocked]'' No. No. That's not true! That's impossible!
:'''Vader''': Search your feelings; you know it to be true!
:'''Luke''': NO!!! NO!!!
:'''Vader''': Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together, we can rule the galaxy as father and son! Come with me. It is the only way. ''[Luke lets go of the projection and falls into the shaft]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lando''': Luke, we're ready for takeoff.
:'''Luke''': Good luck, Lando.
:'''Lando''': When we find Jabba the Hutt and that bounty hunter, we'll contact you.
:'''Luke''': I'll meet you at the rendezvous point on Tatooine.
:'''Lando''': ''[to Leia]'' Princess, we'll find Han. I promise.
:'''Luke''': Chewie, I'll be waiting for your signal. Take care you two, and may the Force be with you.

==Taglines==
*The Adventure Continues…
*The ''Star Wars'' Saga Continues

==Cast==
* [[Mark Hamill]] — Luke Skywalker
* [[Harrison Ford]] — Han Solo
* [[Carrie Fisher]] — Princess Leia Organa
* [[w:Billy Dee Williams|Billy Dee Williams]] — Lando Calrissian
* [[Anthony Daniels]] — C-3PO
* [[Peter Mayhew]] — Chewbacca
* [[w:Kenny Baker|Kenny Baker]] — R2-D2
* [[Alec Guinness]] — Obi-Wan Kenobi
* [[Ian McDiarmid]] — Emperor Palpatine/Darth Sidious (DVD and Blu-ray versions only)
* [[David Prowse]] — Darth Vader (voiced by [[w:James Earl Jones|James Earl Jones]])
* [[w:Jeremy Bulloch|Jeremy Bulloch]] — Boba Fett (voiced by [[w:Jason Wingreen|Jason Wingreen]] (original) [[w:Temuera Morrison|Temuera Morrison]] (later releases))

===Voices===
* [[Frank Oz]] — Yoda
* [[w:Clive Revill|Clive Revill]] — Emperor Palpatine/Darth Sidious

== Quotes about ''The Empire Strikes Back'' ==

* The geek world, the scholars of Stars Wars, can tell you what scripts exist. I do not know. I’ve heard that. But what I know is when I came in to Empire and when I actually started to work, George said, “You know, Darth is Luke’s father.” And I said, “No shit?” So it was a total surprise to me and I thought wonderful. That to me was when the whole thing got really interesting and I thought, This thing’s going to be so much more complicated than I thought. It’s going to speak to things that I relate to very strongly and everybody who’s had to deal with their issues with their father, and this is really a mythic presentation of those things. And we’ve seen since then endless world catastrophes based on father problems. That’s why I think the saga is always going to be so interesting.
** Lawrence Kasdan, [http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2015/05/lawrence-kasdan-star-wars-force-awakens &quot;Lawrence Kasdan Says There’s a Future for Lando Calrissian in Star Wars&quot;], Bruce Handy, ''Vanity Fair'', May 18, 2015.
* I think the critics felt that they were going to see an extension of Star Wars. In other words, they wanted another Star Wars. I decided that the potential was much greater than a rerun of Star Wars. When I finally accepted the assignment, I knew that it was going to be a dark film, with more depth to the characters than in the first film. It took a few years for the critics to catch up with the film and to see it as a fairy tale rather than a comic book.
* Fans have written over the last 30 years telling me how eagerly they awaited the second film of the trilogy. I hadn’t realized how many young children would be seeing the film, and how it would affect them. I think the kids responded to the movement, the characters, and the fairy tale quality of the film. The humor helped make the film appealing to more mature audiences as well.
* I knew in the making of Empire that this was to be the second of a trilogy. Therefore I considered it the second act, the second movement—but it wouldn’t have the same climax that an ordinary film would have, where it sets up a premise, moves along, there is a payoff with a grand climax of some kind of action. The action in this film came at the beginning because it is a continuation of the first film.
:* Irvin Kershner, [http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2010/10/irvin-kershner &quot;In Hindsight, Empire Strikes Back Director Irvin Kershner Would’ve Helmed One of the Prequels&quot;], Mike Ryan, October 18, 2010.
----
{{Star Wars}}

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|0080684|The Empire Strikes Back}}
*{{rotten-tomatoes|empire_strikes_back|The Empire Strikes Back}}

&lt;!--See (1) https://mises.org/library/films-liberty-and-state-1 (2) http://web.archive.org/web/19991128184820/http://www.lp.org/lpn/9911-movies.html (3) http://www.funpoliticalsurvey.com/wp/general/greatest-libertarian-movies --&gt;

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      <comment>Reverted edit by [[User:24.42.179.206|24.42.179.206]] ([[User talk:24.42.179.206|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/24.42.179.206|contributions]]) to last version by AdamDeanHall</comment>
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[[File:Return of the jedi logo.png|thumb|Remember, a Jedi's strength flows from [[the Force]]. But beware: [[Anger]], [[fear]], [[aggression]] — the dark side, are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your [[destiny]].]]
'''''[[w:Return of the Jedi|Return of the Jedi]]''''' (also known as '''''Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi''''') is a [[w:1983 in film|1983]] space opera film. It is the third and final film of the original ''[[Star Wars]]'' trilogy. The film is set one year after the Battle of Hoth. Luke Skywalker and members of the Rebel Alliance travel to Tatooine to rescue their friend Han Solo from the vile Jabba the Hutt. Meanwhile, the Galactic Empire plans to crush the Rebellion with a second Death Star while the Rebel fleet simultaneously prepares to launch a full-scale attack on this new space station. Luke confronts his father, Darth Vader, in a final climactic duel before the evil Emperor Palpatine.
:''Directed by [[w:Richard Marquand|Richard Marquand]]. Written by [[George Lucas]] and [[w:Lawrence Kasdan|Lawrence Kasdan]].''
{{center|'''Return To A Galaxy... Far, Far Away''' &lt;small&gt;([[#taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

==Opening crawl==
[[File:Star Wars characters at Madame Tussaud.jpg|thumb|You must...confront...Vader. Then, only then, a Jedi, will you be. And confront him, you will.]]
* Luke Skywalker has returned to his home planet of Tatooine in an attempt to rescue his friend Han Solo from the clutches of the vile gangster Jabba the Hutt. &lt;br /&gt; Little does Luke know that the GALACTIC EMPIRE has secretly begun construction on a new armored space station even more powerful than the first dreaded Death Star. &lt;br /&gt; When completed, this ultimate weapon will spell certain doom for the small band of rebels struggling to restore freedom to the galaxy...

==Dialogue==
[[File:Jedi symbol.png|thumb|I'll never turn to the dark side. … I am a Jedi, like my father before me.]]
:''[Darth Vader steps out of his shuttle on the second Death Star]''
:'''Moff Jerjerrod''': Lord Vader, this is an unexpected pleasure. We're honored by your presence.
:'''Darth Vader''': You may dispense with the pleasantries, Commander. I'm here to put you back on schedule.
:'''Jerjerrod''': I assure you, Lord Vader, my men are working as fast they can.
:'''Vader''': Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.
:'''Jerjerrod''': I tell you, this station will be operational as planned.
:'''Vader''': The Emperor does not share your optimistic appraisal of the situation.
:'''Jerjerrod''': But he asks the impossible. I need more men.
:'''Vader''': Then perhaps you can tell him when he arrives.
:'''Jerjerrod''': ''[alarmed]'' The Emperor's coming here?
:'''Vader''': That is correct, Commander, and he is most displeased with your apparent lack of progress.
:'''Jerjerrod''': We shall double our efforts.
:'''Vader''': I hope so, Commander, for your sake. The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Jabba the Hutt and his entourage catch Leia rescuing Han]''
:'''Han Solo''': Hey, Jabba. Look, Jabba, I was just on my way to pay you back, and I got a little sidetracked. It's not my fault...
:'''Jabba the Hutt''': ''[in Huttese]'' It's too late for that, Solo. You may have been a good smuggler in the business, but now you're Bantha fodder!
:'''Han''': Look...
:'''Jabba''': ''[to guards]'' Take him away.
:'''Han''': ''[being dragged away by the guards]'' Jabba... I'll pay you triple. You're throwing away a fortune here! Don't be a fool!
:'''Jabba''': ''[sees Leia being led away by Lando in disguise]'' Wait. Bring her to me.
:'''Princess Leia Organa''': ''[brought to Jabba]'' We have powerful friends. You're gonna regret this.
:'''Jabba''': ''[grinning]'' Of that, I'm sure. But, in the meantime...
:'''Leia''': ''[seeing Jabba's tongue before her face, turns away in disgust]'' Ugh!
:'''C-3PO''': ''[turning his head away]'' Oh, I can't bear to watch.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Emperor has arrived on the second Death Star]''
:'''The Emperor''': ''[to a kneeling Vader]'' Rise, my friend.
:'''Vader''': The Death Star will be completed on schedule.
:'''The Emperor''': You have done well, Lord Vader. And now I sense you wish to continue your search for young Skywalker.
:'''Vader''': Yes, my Master.
:'''The Emperor''': Patience, my friend. In time, he will seek ''you'' out. And when he does, you must bring him before me. He has grown strong. Only together can we turn him to the dark side of the Force.
:'''Vader''': As you wish.
:'''The Emperor''': Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen. ''[laughs wickedly]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Luke is in Yoda's hut. Yoda is pacing back and forth. Luke is looking at him with a mixture of sadness and pity]
:'''Yoda''': That face, you make. Look I so old to young eyes?
:'''Luke Skywalker''': ''[hurriedly]'' No. Of course not.
:'''Yoda''': ''[chuckles good-naturedly]'' I do. Yes, I do. Hmm, sick, have I become. Old and weak. ''[points at Luke]'' When 900 years old, ''you'' reach, look as good, ''you'' will not, hmm? ''[laughs again, coughs, walks over to his bed]''. Soon, will I rest, yes. Forever sleep. Earned it, I have. ''[climbs into his bed and Luke covers him up with his blanket]''
:'''Luke''': Master Yoda, you can't die.
:'''Yoda''': Strong, am I, with the Force... but not that strong. Twilight is upon me, and soon, night must fall. That is the way of things... the way of the Force.
:'''Luke''': But I need your help. I've come back to complete the training.
:'''Yoda''': No more training, do you require. Already know you that which you need.
:'''Luke''': Then I am a Jedi.
:'''Yoda''': ''[coughs trying to speak]'' Not yet. One thing remains: Vader. You must...confront...Vader. Then, only then, a Jedi, will you be. And confront him, you will.
:'''Luke''': ''[visibly in agony]'' Master Yoda... is Darth Vader my father?
:'''Yoda''': ''[turns away from Luke]'' Rest, I need. Yes, rest.
:'''Luke''': ''[pleading]'' Yoda, I must know.
:'''Yoda''': Your father, he is. ''[Luke looks away]'' Told you, did he?
:'''Luke''': Yes.
:'''Yoda''': Unexpected, this is, and unfortunate.
:'''Luke''': ''[surprised]'' Unfortunate that I know the truth?
:'''Yoda''': No. ''[turns to face Luke]'' Unfortunate that you rushed to face him. That incomplete, was your training. That not ready for the burden, were you.
:'''Luke''': I'm sorry.
:'''Yoda''': ''[strains to speak as voice gradually grows softer]'' Remember, a Jedi's strength flows from the Force. But beware: Anger, fear, aggression - the dark side, are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. ''[whispering now]'' Luke... Luke... do not... ''[struggles to speak]'' Do not underestimate the powers of the Emperor... or suffer your father's fate, you will. Luke... ''[Luke leans in close]'' ...when gone, am I, the last of the Jedi, will you be. Luke...the Force runs strong in your family. Pass on what you have learned. Luke... ''[with great effort]'' ...There... is... another... Sk... Sky... walker... ''[Yoda dies, then disappears into thin air]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Yoda has passed into The Force, Luke is sitting outside his hut with R2]''
:'''Luke''': I can't do it, R2. I can't go on alone.
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': ''[voice emanates from nowhere]'' Yoda will always be with you.
:'''Luke''': Obi-Wan. ''[Obi-Wan reveals himself as a Force ghost walking by]'' Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Your father was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true, from a certain point of view.
:'''Luke''': ''[incredulously]'' A certain point of view?
:'''Obi-Wan''': Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view. Anakin was a good friend. When I first knew him, your father was already a great pilot. But I was amazed how strongly the Force was with him. I took it upon myself to train him as a Jedi. I thought that I could instruct him just as well as Yoda. I was wrong.
:'''Luke''': There is still good in him.
:'''Obi-Wan''': He's more machine now than man. Twisted and evil.
:'''Luke''': I can't do it, Ben.
:'''Obi-Wan''': You cannot escape your destiny. You must face Darth Vader again.
:'''Luke''': I can't kill my own father.
:'''Obi-Wan''': ''[resigned]'' Then the Emperor has already won. You were our only hope.
:'''Luke''': Yoda spoke of another.
:'''Obi-Wan''': The other he spoke of is your twin sister.
:'''Luke''': But I have no sister.
:'''Obi-Wan''': ''[nods]'' Mm. To protect you both from the Emperor, you were hidden from your father when you were born. The Emperor knew, as I did. If Anakin were to have any offspring, they would be a threat to him. That is the reason why your sister remains safely anonymous.
:'''Luke''': ''[with sudden realization]'' Leia. Leia's my sister.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Your insight serves you well. Bury your feelings deep down, Luke. They do you credit, but they could be made to serve the Emperor.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Han Solo is talking to Lando Calrissian about the ''Millennium Falcon'']''
:'''Han''': Look… I want you to take her. I mean it; take her. You need all the help you can get. She's the fastest ship in the fleet!
:'''Lando Calrissian''': All right, old buddy. You know, I know what she means to you. I'll take good care of her, so that she won't get a scratch. All right?
:'''Han''': Right. ''[starts to leave, but then turns around and looks at Lando]'' I got your promise. Not a scratch.
:'''Lando''': Would you get going, you pirate? ''[waves at Han]'' Good luck.
:'''Han''': You, too.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Luke has stepped out of the Ewok party. Leia has joined him]''
:'''Leia''': Luke, what's wrong?
:'''Luke''': Leia, do you remember [[w:Padmé Amidala|your mother]]? Your real mother?
:'''Leia''': Just a little bit. She died when I was very young.
:'''Luke''': What do you remember?
:'''Leia''': Just images, really, feelings.
:'''Luke''': Tell me.
:'''Leia''': She was... very beautiful. Kind, but sad. Why are you asking me of this?
:'''Luke''': I have no memory of my mother. I never knew her.
:'''Leia''': Luke, tell me. What's troubling you?
:'''Luke''': Vader's here. Now, on this moon.
:'''Leia''': How do you know?
:'''Luke''': I felt his presence. He's come for me. He can feel when I'm near. That's why I have to go. As long as I stay, I'm endangering the group and our mission here. I have to face him.
:'''Leia''': Why?
:'''Luke''': He's my father.
:'''Leia''': ''[shocked]'' Your father?
:'''Luke''': There's more. It won't be easy for you to hear it, but you must. If I don't make it back, you're the only hope for the Alliance.
:'''Leia''': Luke, don't talk that way. You have a power I don't understand and could never have.
:'''Luke''': You're wrong, Leia. You have that power too. In time you'll learn to use it as I have. The Force is strong in my family. My father has it. I have it, and... ''[looks directly at Leia]'' My sister has it. ''[waits for the words to sink in]'' Yes. It's you, Leia.
:'''Leia''': ''[astonished]'' I know. Somehow, I've always known.
:'''Luke''': Then you know why I have to face him.
:'''Leia''': No. Luke, run away, far away. If he can feel your presence, then leave this place. I wish I could go with you.
:'''Luke''': No, you don't. You've always been strong.
:'''Leia''': But ''why'' must you confront him?
:'''Luke''': Because there is good in him, I've felt it. He won't turn me over to the Emperor. I can save him; I can turn him back to the good side. I have to try. ''[kisses Leia on the cheek, then leaves]''
:'''Han''': ''[walking up to Leia after seeing Luke leaving]'' Hey, what's going on?
:'''Leia''': Nothing. I just want to be alone for a little while.
:'''Han''': Nothing? Come on, tell me. What's going on?
:'''Leia''': ''[not wanting to spit out]'' I...I can't tell you.
:'''Han''': ''[angrily]'' What? Could you tell Luke? Is that who you could tell?
:'''Leia''' I...
:''[Han was about to storm out, but stops when he hears Leia crying silently. He comes back to her.
:'''Han''': ''[softly]'' I'm sorry.
:'''Leia''': Hold me. ''[Han hugs her gently]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Luke surrenders himself to Darth Vader]''
:'''Vader''': The Emperor has been expecting you.
:'''Luke''': I know, father.
:'''Vader''': So, you have accepted the truth.
:'''Luke''': I've accepted the truth that you were once Anakin Skywalker, my father.
:'''Vader''': ''[angrily retorts]'' That name no longer has any meaning for me.
:'''Luke''': It is the name of your true self. You've only forgotten. I know there is good in you. The Emperor hasn't driven it from you fully. ''[steps off to the side of the passageway, away from Vader]'' That was why you couldn't destroy me. That's why you won't bring me to your Emperor now.
:'''Vader''': ''[inspects Luke's lightsaber and activates it]'' I see you have constructed a new lightsaber. Your skills are complete. ''[deactivates the lightsaber]'' Indeed you are powerful, as the Emperor has foreseen.
:'''Luke''': Come with me.
:'''Vader''': Obi-Wan once thought as you do. You don't know the power of the dark side! I ''must'' obey my master.
:'''Luke''': I will not turn. And you'll be forced to kill me.
:'''Vader''': If that is your destiny.
:'''Luke''': Search your feelings, father. You can't do this. I feel the conflict within you. Let go of your hate.
:'''Vader''': It is too late for me, son. The Emperor will show you the true nature of the Force. He is your master now.
:'''Luke''': ''[resigned]'' Then my father is truly dead.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''The Emperor''': Welcome, young Skywalker, I have been expecting you. You no longer need those. ''[uses the Force to detach Luke's cuffs]'' Guards, leave us. ''[the Emperor's guards leave the room]'' I'm looking forward to completing your training. In time, you will call me &quot;Master&quot;.
:'''Luke''': You're gravely mistaken. You won't convert me as you did my father.
:'''The Emperor''': Oh, no, my young Jedi. You will find that it is ''you'' who are mistaken, about a great ''many'' things.
:'''Vader''': ''[hands Luke's lightsaber to the Emperor]'' His lightsaber.
:'''The Emperor''': Ah, yes, a Jedi's weapon, much like your father's. By now you must know that your father can never be turned from the dark side. So will it be with you.
:'''Luke''': You're wrong. Soon I'll be dead, and you with me.
:'''The Emperor''': ''[chuckling evilly]'' Perhaps you refer to the imminent attack of your Rebel fleet? Yes; I assure you, we are quite safe from your friends here.
:'''Luke''': Your overconfidence is your weakness.
:'''The Emperor''': ''[looks back at Luke]'' Your faith in your friends is yours.
:'''Vader''': It is pointless to resist, my son.
:'''The Emperor''': Everything that has transpired has done so, according to ''my'' design. Your friends, out there on the sanctuary moon, are walking into a trap, as is your Rebel fleet. It was ''I'' who allowed the Alliance to know the location of the shield generator. It is quite safe from your ''pitiful'' little band. An entire ''legion'' of my best troops awaits them. ''[mockingly]'' Oh, I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Admiral Ackbar''': Take evasive action. Green Group, stay close to holding sector MD-7.
:'''Crewman''': Admiral, we have enemy ships in sector 47!
:'''Ackbar''': It's a trap!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Vader''': ''[searching for Luke in the Emperor's chamber]'' You cannot hide forever, Luke.
:'''Luke''': I will not fight you.
:'''Vader''': Give yourself to the dark side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for... ''[pauses]'' Sister. So, you have a twin sister. Your feelings have now betrayed her, too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If ''you'' will not turn to the dark side, then perhaps ''she'' will.
:'''Luke''': ''[revealing himself]'' NEVER!!! ''[attacks Vader ferociously, eventually backing him onto a railing and cutting off his right hand. He stands over Vader for a moment.]''
:'''The Emperor''': ''[laughing]'' Good! Your hate has made you powerful. Now, fulfill your destiny and take your father's place at my side.
:'''Luke''': ''[looks at Vader's severed hand, then turns to face the Emperor, throwing away his lightsaber]'' Never. I'll never turn to the dark side. You've failed, Your Highness. I am a Jedi, like my father before me.
:'''The Emperor''': ''[angrily]'' So be it... Jedi.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Luke refuses to give in to the Emperor's demands and disarms himself]''
:'''The Emperor''': ''[raising his hands toward Luke]'' If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed. ''[Fires lightning bolts at Luke, causing him to fall to the floor in agony. Darth Vader gets up and stands next to the Emperor, watching.]'' Young fool. Only now, at the end, do you understand. ''[shoots another round of lightning]'' Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the dark side. You have paid the price for your lack of vision. ''[continues shooting lightning]''
:'''Luke''': ''[writhing in agony]'' Father, please! Help me!
:'''The Emperor''': Now, young Skywalker... you will die. ''[intensifies lightning blasts]''
:'''Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker''': ''[looks back and forth at Luke and the Emperor]'' No. NOOOOOO!!!!! ''[grabs the Emperor from behind and throws him down into the reactor shaft]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A redeemed Anakin Skywalker is dying in Luke's arms]''
:'''[[w:Darth Vader|Anakin Skywalker]]''': Luke, help me take this mask off.
:'''Luke''': But you'll die.
:'''Anakin''': Nothing.... can stop that now. Just for once, let me....look on you with my own eyes. ''[Luke carefully removes Vader's mask to reveal Anakin's disfigured face underneath.]'' Now...go, my son. Leave me.
:'''Luke''': No. You're coming with me. I'm not leaving you here. I've got to save you.
:'''Anakin''': ''[smiles]'' You already have, Luke. You were right. You were right about me. Tell your sister...you were right. ''[dies]''
:'''Luke''': Father... I won't leave you.

==About ''Return of the Jedi''==
* Star Wars meant a lot to young people around the world – young people who were around six, seven and eight years old, and older as well. Those people grew up. So when they saw The Empire Strikes Back, they were a little bit more mature. By the time I came along to direct Return Of The Jedi, they were 18. 19 and 20.
* I have a son who’s about your age and part of the Star Wars generation. So he was my most intimate link to the Star Wars saga. So that meant that what I was able to bring to the Star Wars saga, which the other directors couldn’t since they were dealing with a younger generation, was a certain kind of modern maturity, which you couldn’t have had in Star Wars [Episode IV], because you would have lost a lot of people. I was able to entertain the little kids with the Ewoks and all the stuff that made them feel safe, but I was able, at the same time, to give young adults the kind of things they’re looking for, which is a lot of excitement, a lot of showmanship. But they are also looking for true relationships and genuine emotions. I think that’s what has always been in the Star Wars saga, but I was really able to bring that out and make it work. I think that’s what Return Of The Jedi had that the others didn’t have. I’m not criticising the others: they simply weren’t ready for it.
:* [[w:Richard Marquand|Richard Marquand]], [http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/star-wars/26133/richard-marquand-interview-return-of-the-jedi-star-wars Interviews:Return of The Jedi, Star Wars], Jules-Pierre Malartre, ''Den of Geek'', 25 June 2013.

==Taglines==
* Return to a galaxy... far, far away.
*The saga continues...
*The Empire falls...
*Coming May 25, 1983 to your galaxy. [Second Advance poster]

==Cast==
* [[Mark Hamill]] — Luke Skywalker
* [[Harrison Ford]] — Han Solo
* [[Carrie Fisher]] — Princess Leia Organa
* [[w:Billy Dee Williams|Billy Dee Williams]] — Lando Calrissian
* [[Anthony Daniels]] — C-3PO
* [[Peter Mayhew]] — Chewbacca
* [[w:Sebastian Shaw (actor)|Sebastian Shaw]]/[[w:Hayden Christensen|Hayden Christensen]]  — Anakin Skywalker
* [[Ian McDiarmid]] — Emperor Palpatine 
* [[David Prowse]] — Darth Vader
* [[Alec Guinness]] — Obi-Wan Kenobi

===Voices===
* [[Frank Oz]] — Yoda
* [[w:James Earl Jones|James Earl Jones]] — Darth Vader

----
{{Star Wars}}

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|0086190|Return of the Jedi}}
*{{rotten-tomatoes|return_of_the_jedi|Return of the Jedi}}

&lt;!--See (1) https://mises.org/library/films-liberty-and-state-1 (2) http://web.archive.org/web/19991128184820/http://www.lp.org/lpn/9911-movies.html (3) http://www.funpoliticalsurvey.com/wp/general/greatest-libertarian-movies --&gt;

[[Category:1983 films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Star Wars films]]
[[Category:Screenplays by George Lucas]]
[[Category:Screenplays by Lawrence Kasdan]]
[[Category:Space adventure films]]
[[Category:Films about twins]]
[[Category:Films set in forests]]
[[Category:Films featuring puppetry]]
[[Category:United States National Film Registry films]]</text>
      <sha1>9smp5xuq5ibdf6p5medcmmz3evsfiyw</sha1>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>August 28</title>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158714</id>
      <parentid>2999432</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T00:10:41Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Suggestions */ ranking shift on 1</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="35909" xml:space="preserve">&lt;div id=&quot;28&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 0em; border: thin solid black; padding: 3px; background-color: #CFE5FF; font: bold 14pt sans-serif;&quot;&gt;[[Category:Days]][[w:August 28|August 28]]&lt;/div&gt; &lt;noinclude&gt;'''Quotes of the day''' from previous years:&lt;/noinclude&gt;

; 2003
: Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old, not because of their habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the others who have tried it. ~ ''[[The Devil's Dictionary]]'' by [[Ambrose Bierce]]
:* selected by [[User:Nanobug|Nanobug]]

; 2004
: It is better for a leader to make a mistake in forgiving than to make a mistake in punishing. ~ [[Muhammad]]
:* selected by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]

; 2005
: I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood... I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today... ~ [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]]
:* proposed by [[User:MosheZadka|MosheZadka]], expanded from the first Wikiquote Quote of the Day, selected by [[User:Nanobug|Nanobug]].
&lt;!-- I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. ~ [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], &quot;I have a dream&quot; speech ([[August 28]], [[1963]])
* 4 ~ [[User:MosheZadka|MosheZadka]] [[User talk:MosheZadka|(Talk)]] 08:18, 20 July 2005 (UTC)
* 4 [[User:Warrior-Poet]] 28 July, 2005 15:43 CST
* 4 - [[User:JB82|JB82]] 01:35, 27 August 2005 (UTC)
 --&gt;

; 2006
: Who is the happiest of men? He who values the merits of others, and in their pleasure takes joy, even as though 'twere his own. ~ [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]]
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 22:39, 27 August 2006 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2007
: Moderation, the Golden Mean, the Aristonmetron, is the secret of wisdom and of happiness. But it does not mean embracing an unadventurous mediocrity: rather it is an elaborate balancing-act, a feat of intellectual skill demanding constant vigilance. Its aim is a reconciliation of opposites. ~ [[Robertson Davies]]
:* proposed by [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] &lt;!-- * 4 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 10:24, 23 August 2007 (UTC)
* 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 23:07, 25 August 2007 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2008
: To which of the warring serpents should I turn with the problem that now faces me? &lt;br&gt; It is easy, and tempting, to choose the god of Science. Now I would not for a moment have you suppose that I am one of those idiots who scorns Science, merely because it is always twisting and turning, and sometimes shedding its skin, like the serpent that is its symbol. It is a powerful god indeed but it is what the students of ancient gods called a shape-shifter, and sometimes a trickster. ~ [[Robertson Davies]]
:* proposed by [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] &lt;!-- * 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 10:24, 23 August 2007 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 23:07, 25 August 2007 (UTC)
:: I prefer to extend this a bit for context, to begin with: &quot;To which of the warring serpents should I turn with the problem that now faces me?&quot; ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 23:38, 27 August 2008 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 16:20, 24 April 2008 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2009
: What is the use of being wise if we are not sometimes merry? The merriment of wise men is not the uninformed, gross fun of ignorant men, but it has more kinship with that than the pinched, frightened fun of those who are neither learned nor ignorant, gentle nor simple, bound nor free. The idea that a wise man must be solemn is bred and preserved among people who have no idea what wisdom is, and can only respect whatever makes them feel inferior. ~ [[Robertson Davies]]
:* proposed by [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] &lt;!-- The idea that a wise man must be solemn is bred and preserved among people who have no idea what wisdom is, and can only respect whatever makes them feel inferior. ~ [[Robertson Davies]]
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 10:24, 23 August 2007 (UTC)
* 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 14:09, 21 August 2009 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 23:07, 25 August 2007 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt;but I am now inclined to extend this to:
:: What is the use of being wise if we are not sometimes merry? The merriment of wise men is not the uninformed, gross fun of ignorant men, but it has more kinship with that than the pinched, frightened fun of those who are neither learned nor ignorant, gentle nor simple, bound nor free. The idea that a wise man must be solemn is bred and preserved among people who have no idea what wisdom is, and can only respect whatever makes them feel inferior.
* 2 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 16:20, 24 April 2008 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2010
: The ironist is not bitter, he does not seek to undercut everything that seems worthy or serious, he scorns the cheap scoring-off of the wisecracker. He stands, so to speak, somewhat at one side, observes and speaks with a moderation which is occasionally embellished with a flash of controlled exaggeration. He speaks from a certain depth, and thus he is not of the same nature as the wit, who so often speaks from the tongue and no deeper. The wit's desire is to be funny; the ironist is only funny as a secondary achievement. ~ [[Robertson Davies]]
:* proposed by [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] &lt;!-- * 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 10:24, 23 August 2007 (UTC)
* 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:02, 23 August 2010 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 05:43, 29 August 2007 (UTC) with a VERY strong lean toward 4.&lt;/s&gt;
* 1 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 16:20, 24 April 2008 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2011
: Love does not dominate, it cultivates. And that is more. ~ [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]]
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 15:59, 3 February 2010 (UTC) with a very strong lean toward 4. --&gt;

; 2012
{{quote of the day
| quote = The best among our [[writers]] are doing their accustomed [[work]] of mirroring what is deep in the [[Spirituality|spirit]] of our [[time]]; if [[chaos]] appears in those mirrors, we must have [[faith]] that in the [[future]], as always in the [[past]], that chaos will slowly reveal itself as a new aspect of [[order]].
| author = Robertson Davies
}}
:* proposed by [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] &lt;!-- * 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 10:24, 23 August 2007 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 23:07, 25 August 2007 (UTC) with a lean toward 4.
* 2 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 16:20, 24 April 2008 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2013
{{quote of the day
| quote = To be apt in [[quotation]] is a splendid and [[dangerous]] [[gift]]. Splendid, because it ornaments a man's [[speech]] with other men's jewels; dangerous, for the same reason.
| author = Robertson Davies
}}
:* proposed by [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] &lt;!-- * 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 10:24, 23 August 2007 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:02, 23 August 2010 (UTC) with a lean toward 3. &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 23:07, 25 August 2007 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt;
* 3 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 16:20, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
* 3 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 01:55, 15 August 2013 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2014
{{quote of the day
| quote = I have a [[dream]] that one day this [[nation]] will rise up and [[live]] out the true [[meaning]] of its [[creed]]: &quot;We hold these [[truths]] to be [[self-evident]]: that [[all]] men are created [[equal]].&quot; I have a dream that one day on the red hills of [[w:Georgia|Georgia]] the sons of former [[slaves]] and the sons of former slave-owners will be able to sit down together at a table of [[brotherhood]]. I have a dream that one day even the state of [[w:Mississippi|Mississippi]], a state, sweltering with the heat of [[injustice]], sweltering with the heat of [[oppression]], will be transformed into an oasis of [[freedom]] and [[justice]].&amp;nbsp; I have a dream that my four little [[children]] will one day live in a nation where they will not be [[judged]] by the color of their skin but by the content of their [[character]]. I have a dream [[today]].
| author = Martin Luther King, Jr.
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]] &lt;!-- '''Note:''' King's &quot;I Have a Dream&quot; speech was delivered on 28 August 1963.&amp;nbsp; This quote is from said speech.
* 4 [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]] ([[User talk:Allixpeeke|talk]]) 10:05, 25 August 2014 (UTC)
* 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:29, 25 August 2014 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2015
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[Unity|⨀]]&lt;br /&gt;My [[name]] is [[Harrison Bergeron]]. I am a fugitive, and a public threat. I am an abomination of the [[able]]. I am an [[exception]] to the accepted. I am the greatest [[man]] you have never [[known]]. And for the last six years, I have been held [[prisoner]] by the state — sentenced, without trial, to [[torture]] without [[end]].&lt;br /&gt; They… had hoped to [[destroy]] in me any trace of the extraordinary … but the extraordinary, it seems, was simply out of their reach. &lt;br /&gt; So [[now]] I stand before you today, beaten, hobbled, and sickened … but, sadly, not broken. And I ''say'' to you, that if it is ''[[greatness]]'' we must ''destroy'', then let us ''drag our [[enemy]]'' out of the ''[[darkness]]'', where it has been ''hiding''. Let us shine a [[light]] so, at ''last'', all the [[world]] can ''see''!
| author = ''[[2081_(film)|2081]]''
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]]&lt;!-- &lt;blockquote&gt;{{quote of the day
| quote = My name is Harrison Bergeron.&amp;nbsp; I am a fugitive, and a public threat.&amp;nbsp; I am an abomination of the able.&amp;nbsp; I am an exception to the accepted.&amp;nbsp; I am the greatest man you have never known.&amp;nbsp; And for the last six years, I have been held [[prisoner]] by the state—sentenced, without trial, to [[torture]] without end.&lt;p&gt;They…had hoped to destroy in me any trace of the extraordinary…but the extraordinary, it seems, was simply out of their reach.&lt;p&gt;So now I stand before you today, beaten, hobbled, and sickened…but, sadly, not broken.&amp;nbsp; And I ''say'' to you, that if it is ''[[greatness]]'' we must ''destroy'', then let us ''drag our [[enemy]]'' out of the ''darkness'', where it has been ''hiding''.&amp;nbsp; Let us shine a light so, at ''last'', all the world can ''see''!
| author = Harrison Bergeron in the short film ''[[2081_(film)|2081]]''
}}&lt;/blockquote&gt;

'''Note:''' Harrison Bergeron was played by the actor Armie Hammer, who was born 28 August 1986.

* 3 (strongly leaning toward 4) [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]] ([[User talk:Allixpeeke|talk]]) 10:21, 25 August 2014 (UTC)
* 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:26, 27 August 2015 (UTC) &lt;s&gt; 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:29, 25 August 2014 (UTC)￼&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2016
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; Let us not seek to [[satisfy]] our thirst for [[freedom]] by [[drinking]] from the cup of bitterness and [[hatred]]. We must [[forever]] conduct our [[struggle]] on the high plane of [[dignity]] and [[discipline]]. We must not allow our [[creative]] [[protest]] to degenerate into [[physical]] [[violence]]. Again and again we must rise to the [[majestic]] heights of meeting physical [[force]] with [[soul]] force.
| author = Martin Luther King, Jr.
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]]&lt;!-- &lt;blockquote&gt;{{quote of the day
| quote = We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of [[dignity]] and discipline.&amp;nbsp; We must not allow our [[creative]] [[protest]] to degenerate into physical [[violence]].&amp;nbsp; Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.
| author = Martin Luther King, Jr.
}}&lt;/blockquote&gt;
'''Note:''' King's &quot;I Have a Dream&quot; speech was delivered on 28 August 1963.&amp;nbsp; This quote is from said speech.
* 3 [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]] ([[User talk:Allixpeeke|talk]]) 10:05, 25 August 2014 (UTC)
* 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:07, 26 August 2016 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:29, 25 August 2014 (UTC)￼&lt;/s&gt; but extended this slightly... --&gt;

; 2017
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; None are more [[hopelessly]] [[enslaved]] than those who [[falsely]] [[believe]] they are [[free]].
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2018
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; Everyone thinks they can [[write]] a play; you just write down what happened to you. But the [[art]] of it is drawing from [[all]] the [[moments]] of your [[life]].
| author = Neil Simon
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:52, 27 August 2018 (UTC) --&gt;, in regard to his recent death.

; 2019
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; ''What dazzles, for the [[Moment]] spends its [[spirit]]: &lt;br /&gt; What's [[genuine]], shall [[Posterity]] [[inherit]].''
| author = [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]] ~&lt;br /&gt; in &lt;br /&gt;~ ''[[Goethe's Faust|Faust]]''
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:11, 28 August 2019 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2020
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; I have joined the [[political]] arena so that the [[powerful]] can no longer beat up on [[people]] that cannot defend themselves. &lt;br /&gt; Nobody knows the [[system]] better than me, which is why I alone can fix it.
| author = Donald Trump
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:00, 28 August 2020 (UTC) --&gt;, in regard of abiding assertions regarding his role as President of the United States of America.

; 2021
{{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; One ought, every day at least, to [[hear]] a little [[song]], [[read]] a good [[poem]], [[see]] a fine [[picture]], and, if it were possible, to [[speak]] a few [[reasonable]] [[words]].
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 20:23, 27 August 2021 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2022 : ''[[August 28|Rank or add further suggestions…]]''
----
&lt;noinclude&gt;
Ranking system:
:4 : '''Excellent''' - should definitely be used.
:3 : '''Very Good''' - strong desire to see it used.
:2 : '''Good''' - some desire to see it used.
:1 : '''Acceptable''' - but with no particular desire to see it used.
:0 : '''Not acceptable''' - not appropriate for use as a quote of the day.
----
----
== Suggestions ==

It is mankind's discovery of language which more than any other single thing has separated him from the animal creation. Without language, what concept have we of past or future as separated from the immediate present? Without language, how can we tell anyone what we feel, or what we think? It might be said that until he developed language, man had no soul, for without language how could he reach deep inside himself and discover the truths that are hidden there, or find out what emotions he shared, or did not share, with his fellow men and women. ~ [[Robertson Davies]]
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 10:24, 23 August 2007 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 23:07, 25 August 2007 (UTC) with a strong lean toward 4.
* 1 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 16:20, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
* 2.5 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 01:55, 15 August 2013 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]] ([[User talk:Allixpeeke|talk]]) 08:58, 25 August 2014 (UTC)

----

When young, one is confident to be able to build palaces for mankind, but when the time comes one has one's hands full just to be able to remove their trash. ~ [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]] (dob)
* 3 [[User:Bystander53|bystander]] ([[User talk:Bystander53|talk]]) 16:33, 26 August 2012 (UTC)
* 2 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 01:55, 15 August 2013 (UTC)
* 3 (leaning toward 2 because of the poor grammar; &quot;one&quot; is singular while &quot;their&quot; is plural) [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]] ([[User talk:Allixpeeke|talk]]) 08:58, 25 August 2014 (UTC)

----

&lt;blockquote&gt;{{quote of the day
| quote = I had much rather be myself the slave,&lt;br&gt;And wear the bonds, than fasten them on him.&lt;br&gt;We have no slaves at home–Then why abroad?&lt;br&gt;And they themselves once ferried o'er the wave&lt;br&gt;That parts us are emancipate and loosed.&lt;br&gt;Slaves cannot breathe in England; if their lungs&lt;br&gt;Receive our air, that moment they are free.&lt;br&gt;They touch our country, and their shackles fall.&lt;br&gt;That's noble, and bespeaks a nation proud&lt;br&gt;And jealous of the blessing.&amp;nbsp; Spread it then,&lt;br&gt;And let it circulate through every vein&lt;br&gt;Of all your empire; that, where Britain's power&lt;br&gt;Is felt, mankind may feel her mercy too.
| author = William Cowper
}}&lt;/blockquote&gt;

'''Note:''' According to [[w:August_28|this page]], &quot;The [[w:Slavery Abolition Act 1833|Slavery Abolition Act 1833]] receives [[w:Royal Assent|Royal Assent]], abolishing slavery through most the British Empire&quot; on 28 August 1833.

* 3 [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]] ([[User talk:Allixpeeke|talk]]) 08:58, 25 August 2014 (UTC)
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:29, 25 August 2014 (UTC)

----

&lt;blockquote&gt;{{quote of the day
| quote = When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the [[United States Constitution|Constitution]] and the [[United States Declaration of Independence|Declaration of Independence]], they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir.&amp;nbsp; This note was a promise that all men, yes black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of [[w:Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness|life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness]].
| author = Martin Luther King, Jr.
}}&lt;/blockquote&gt;

'''Note:''' King's &quot;I Have a Dream&quot; speech was delivered on 28 August 1963.&amp;nbsp; This quote is from said speech.

* 3 [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]] ([[User talk:Allixpeeke|talk]]) 10:05, 25 August 2014 (UTC)
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:29, 25 August 2014 (UTC)

----

&lt;blockquote&gt;{{quote of the day
| quote =&lt;p&gt; [[Racism]] is the lowest, most crudely primitive form of [[collectivism]].&amp;nbsp; It is the notion of ascribing moral, social or political significance to a man's genetic lineage—the notion that a man's intellectual and characterological traits are produced and transmitted by his internal body chemistry.&amp;nbsp; Which means, in practice, that a man is to be judged, not by his own [[character]] and [[actions]], but by the characters and actions of a collective of ancestors.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Racism claims that the content of a man's [[mind]] (not his cognitive apparatus, but its ''content'') is inherited; that a man's [[convictions]], [[values]] and character are determined before he is born, by physical forces beyond his control.&amp;nbsp; This is the caveman's version of the doctrine of innate ideas—or of inherited knowledge—which has been thoroughly refuted by [[philosophy]] and [[science]].&amp;nbsp; Racism is a doctrine of, by and for brutes.&lt;/p&gt;
| author = Ayn Rand
}}&lt;/blockquote&gt;

'''Note:''' King's &quot;I Have a Dream&quot; speech was delivered on 28 August 1963.&amp;nbsp; This quote was written around the same time as King's speech.

* 3 (very strongly leaning toward 4) [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]] ([[User talk:Allixpeeke|talk]]) 10:05, 25 August 2014 (UTC)
* 3, but tenuously; I like the quote, but the link to the date seems tenuous. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:29, 25 August 2014 (UTC)
----

&lt;blockquote&gt;{{quote of the day
| quote = I'm fairly certain [[YOLO]] is [[Horace|Carpe Diem]] for [[stupid]] [[people]].
| author = Jack Black
}}&lt;/blockquote&gt;

'''Note:''' Jack Black was born 28 August 1969.

* 2 (leaning toward 3) [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]] ([[User talk:Allixpeeke|talk]]) 10:21, 25 August 2014 (UTC)
* 2 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:29, 25 August 2014 (UTC)

----

&lt;blockquote&gt;{{quote of the day
| quote = First you have to know—not fear, ''know''—that, someday, you're gonna die.
| author = Tyler Durden in ''[[Fight Club (film)|Fight Club]]''
}}&lt;/blockquote&gt;

'''Note:''' The film ''Fight Club'' was directed by David Fincher who, in turn, was born 28 August 1962.

* 3 [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]] ([[User talk:Allixpeeke|talk]]) 10:21, 25 August 2014 (UTC)
* 2 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:29, 25 August 2014 (UTC)

----
{{quote of the day
| quote = The first and last thing demanded of [[genius]] is [[love]] of [[truth]].
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC) with a strong lean toward 4.

----
{{quote of the day
| quote = You ask which form of [[government]] is the best? Whichever [[teaches]] us to govern [[ourselves]].
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

----

{{quote of the day
| quote = Behaviour is a mirror in which everyone shows his image.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:10, 28 August 2022 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt;

----
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[Piety]] is not an end but a means to attain by the greatest peace of mind the highest degree of culture. &lt;br /&gt; This is why we may say that those who parade piety as a purpose and an aim mostly turn into hypocrites.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

----
{{quote of the day
| quote = A noble person attracts noble people, and knows how to hold on to them.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

----
{{quote of the day
| quote = Investigate what is, and not what pleases.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

----

{{quote of the day
| quote = The greatest happiness for the thinking man is to have fathomed the fathomable, and to quietly revere the unfathomable.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

----

{{quote of the day
| quote = ''Age does not make us childish, as they say. &lt;br /&gt; It only finds us true children still.''
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

----

{{quote of the day
| quote = There are occasions ... when all consolation is base and it is a duty to despair.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

----

{{quote of the day
| quote = A world without love would be no world.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

----

{{quote of the day
| quote = The deed is everything, the glory nothing.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

----

{{quote of the day
| quote = Nothing is more frightful than to see [[ignorance]] in action.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

----

{{quote of the day
| quote = ''All perishable is but an allegory.''
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

----
{{quote of the day
| quote = All poetry is supposed to be instructive but in an unnoticeable manner; it is supposed to make us aware of what it would be valuable to instruct ourselves in; we must deduce the lesson on our own, just as with life.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

----
{{quote of the day
| quote = One must ''be'' something in order to ''do'' something.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

----

{{quote of the day
| quote = The man who, solely from regard to the [[opinion]] of others, and without any [[wish]] or [[necessity]] of his own, [[toils]] after [[gold]], [[honour]], or any other phantom, is no better than a [[fool]].
| author = [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]] ~&lt;br /&gt; in &lt;br /&gt;~ ''[[The Sorrows of Young Werther]]''
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

----

{{quote of the day
| quote = One never goes so far as when one doesn't know where one is going.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

----
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[Life]] [[teaches]] us to be less harsh with ourselves and with others.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

----
{{quote of the day
| quote = One [[lives]] but once in the [[world]].
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

----
{{quote of the day
| quote = ''All that must disappear&lt;br&gt;Is but a parable;&lt;br&gt;What lay beyond us, here&lt;br&gt;All is made visible;&lt;br&gt;Here deeds have understood&lt;br&gt;Words they were darkened by;&lt;br&gt;The Eternal Feminine&lt;br&gt;Draws us on high.''
| author = [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]] ~&lt;br /&gt; in &lt;br /&gt;~ ''[[Goethe's Faust| Goethe's ''Faust'']]''
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC) with a strong lean toward 4.

----

{{quote of the day
| quote = There is [[strong]] [[shadow]] where there is much [[light]].
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

----
&quot;Hughie, get your tanks off my lawn.&quot;&quot; -- [[Harold Wilson]]
* Submitted by {{user|DarcyTy 1}}
* 1, with a lean toward 0; this appears to have no strong relation to this date and does not seem a highly notable statement. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 07:07, 26 August 2018 (UTC)

----

&lt;!-- interwiki start --&gt;

&lt;!-- interwiki end --&gt;
&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>jcrioi4w0mg3hyrqelkiu28q5or24nf</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158716</id>
      <parentid>3158714</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T00:22:28Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>updates</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="35845" xml:space="preserve">&lt;div id=&quot;28&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 0em; border: thin solid black; padding: 3px; background-color: #CFE5FF; font: bold 14pt sans-serif;&quot;&gt;[[Category:Days]][[w:August 28|August 28]]&lt;/div&gt; &lt;noinclude&gt;'''Quotes of the day''' from previous years:&lt;/noinclude&gt;

; 2003
: Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old, not because of their habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the others who have tried it. ~ ''[[The Devil's Dictionary]]'' by [[Ambrose Bierce]]
:* selected by [[User:Nanobug|Nanobug]]

; 2004
: It is better for a leader to make a mistake in forgiving than to make a mistake in punishing. ~ [[Muhammad]]
:* selected by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]

; 2005
: I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood... I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today... ~ [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]]
:* proposed by [[User:MosheZadka|MosheZadka]], expanded from the first Wikiquote Quote of the Day, selected by [[User:Nanobug|Nanobug]].
&lt;!-- I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. ~ [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], &quot;I have a dream&quot; speech ([[August 28]], [[1963]])
* 4 ~ [[User:MosheZadka|MosheZadka]] [[User talk:MosheZadka|(Talk)]] 08:18, 20 July 2005 (UTC)
* 4 [[User:Warrior-Poet]] 28 July, 2005 15:43 CST
* 4 - [[User:JB82|JB82]] 01:35, 27 August 2005 (UTC)
 --&gt;

; 2006
: Who is the happiest of men? He who values the merits of others, and in their pleasure takes joy, even as though 'twere his own. ~ [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]]
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 22:39, 27 August 2006 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2007
: Moderation, the Golden Mean, the Aristonmetron, is the secret of wisdom and of happiness. But it does not mean embracing an unadventurous mediocrity: rather it is an elaborate balancing-act, a feat of intellectual skill demanding constant vigilance. Its aim is a reconciliation of opposites. ~ [[Robertson Davies]]
:* proposed by [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] &lt;!-- * 4 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 10:24, 23 August 2007 (UTC)
* 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 23:07, 25 August 2007 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2008
: To which of the warring serpents should I turn with the problem that now faces me? &lt;br&gt; It is easy, and tempting, to choose the god of Science. Now I would not for a moment have you suppose that I am one of those idiots who scorns Science, merely because it is always twisting and turning, and sometimes shedding its skin, like the serpent that is its symbol. It is a powerful god indeed but it is what the students of ancient gods called a shape-shifter, and sometimes a trickster. ~ [[Robertson Davies]]
:* proposed by [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] &lt;!-- * 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 10:24, 23 August 2007 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 23:07, 25 August 2007 (UTC)
:: I prefer to extend this a bit for context, to begin with: &quot;To which of the warring serpents should I turn with the problem that now faces me?&quot; ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 23:38, 27 August 2008 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 16:20, 24 April 2008 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2009
: What is the use of being wise if we are not sometimes merry? The merriment of wise men is not the uninformed, gross fun of ignorant men, but it has more kinship with that than the pinched, frightened fun of those who are neither learned nor ignorant, gentle nor simple, bound nor free. The idea that a wise man must be solemn is bred and preserved among people who have no idea what wisdom is, and can only respect whatever makes them feel inferior. ~ [[Robertson Davies]]
:* proposed by [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] &lt;!-- The idea that a wise man must be solemn is bred and preserved among people who have no idea what wisdom is, and can only respect whatever makes them feel inferior. ~ [[Robertson Davies]]
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 10:24, 23 August 2007 (UTC)
* 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 14:09, 21 August 2009 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 23:07, 25 August 2007 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt;but I am now inclined to extend this to:
:: What is the use of being wise if we are not sometimes merry? The merriment of wise men is not the uninformed, gross fun of ignorant men, but it has more kinship with that than the pinched, frightened fun of those who are neither learned nor ignorant, gentle nor simple, bound nor free. The idea that a wise man must be solemn is bred and preserved among people who have no idea what wisdom is, and can only respect whatever makes them feel inferior.
* 2 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 16:20, 24 April 2008 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2010
: The ironist is not bitter, he does not seek to undercut everything that seems worthy or serious, he scorns the cheap scoring-off of the wisecracker. He stands, so to speak, somewhat at one side, observes and speaks with a moderation which is occasionally embellished with a flash of controlled exaggeration. He speaks from a certain depth, and thus he is not of the same nature as the wit, who so often speaks from the tongue and no deeper. The wit's desire is to be funny; the ironist is only funny as a secondary achievement. ~ [[Robertson Davies]]
:* proposed by [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] &lt;!-- * 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 10:24, 23 August 2007 (UTC)
* 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:02, 23 August 2010 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 05:43, 29 August 2007 (UTC) with a VERY strong lean toward 4.&lt;/s&gt;
* 1 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 16:20, 24 April 2008 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2011
: Love does not dominate, it cultivates. And that is more. ~ [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]]
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 15:59, 3 February 2010 (UTC) with a very strong lean toward 4. --&gt;

; 2012
{{quote of the day
| quote = The best among our [[writers]] are doing their accustomed [[work]] of mirroring what is deep in the [[Spirituality|spirit]] of our [[time]]; if [[chaos]] appears in those mirrors, we must have [[faith]] that in the [[future]], as always in the [[past]], that chaos will slowly reveal itself as a new aspect of [[order]].
| author = Robertson Davies
}}
:* proposed by [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] &lt;!-- * 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 10:24, 23 August 2007 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 23:07, 25 August 2007 (UTC) with a lean toward 4.
* 2 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 16:20, 24 April 2008 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2013
{{quote of the day
| quote = To be apt in [[quotation]] is a splendid and [[dangerous]] [[gift]]. Splendid, because it ornaments a man's [[speech]] with other men's jewels; dangerous, for the same reason.
| author = Robertson Davies
}}
:* proposed by [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] &lt;!-- * 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 10:24, 23 August 2007 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:02, 23 August 2010 (UTC) with a lean toward 3. &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 23:07, 25 August 2007 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt;
* 3 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 16:20, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
* 3 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 01:55, 15 August 2013 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2014
{{quote of the day
| quote = I have a [[dream]] that one day this [[nation]] will rise up and [[live]] out the true [[meaning]] of its [[creed]]: &quot;We hold these [[truths]] to be [[self-evident]]: that [[all]] men are created [[equal]].&quot; I have a dream that one day on the red hills of [[w:Georgia|Georgia]] the sons of former [[slaves]] and the sons of former slave-owners will be able to sit down together at a table of [[brotherhood]]. I have a dream that one day even the state of [[w:Mississippi|Mississippi]], a state, sweltering with the heat of [[injustice]], sweltering with the heat of [[oppression]], will be transformed into an oasis of [[freedom]] and [[justice]].&amp;nbsp; I have a dream that my four little [[children]] will one day live in a nation where they will not be [[judged]] by the color of their skin but by the content of their [[character]]. I have a dream [[today]].
| author = Martin Luther King, Jr.
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]] &lt;!-- '''Note:''' King's &quot;I Have a Dream&quot; speech was delivered on 28 August 1963.&amp;nbsp; This quote is from said speech.
* 4 [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]] ([[User talk:Allixpeeke|talk]]) 10:05, 25 August 2014 (UTC)
* 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:29, 25 August 2014 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2015
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[Unity|⨀]]&lt;br /&gt;My [[name]] is [[Harrison Bergeron]]. I am a fugitive, and a public threat. I am an abomination of the [[able]]. I am an [[exception]] to the accepted. I am the greatest [[man]] you have never [[known]]. And for the last six years, I have been held [[prisoner]] by the state — sentenced, without trial, to [[torture]] without [[end]].&lt;br /&gt; They… had hoped to [[destroy]] in me any trace of the extraordinary … but the extraordinary, it seems, was simply out of their reach. &lt;br /&gt; So [[now]] I stand before you today, beaten, hobbled, and sickened … but, sadly, not broken. And I ''say'' to you, that if it is ''[[greatness]]'' we must ''destroy'', then let us ''drag our [[enemy]]'' out of the ''[[darkness]]'', where it has been ''hiding''. Let us shine a [[light]] so, at ''last'', all the [[world]] can ''see''!
| author = ''[[2081_(film)|2081]]''
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]]&lt;!-- &lt;blockquote&gt;{{quote of the day
| quote = My name is Harrison Bergeron.&amp;nbsp; I am a fugitive, and a public threat.&amp;nbsp; I am an abomination of the able.&amp;nbsp; I am an exception to the accepted.&amp;nbsp; I am the greatest man you have never known.&amp;nbsp; And for the last six years, I have been held [[prisoner]] by the state—sentenced, without trial, to [[torture]] without end.&lt;p&gt;They…had hoped to destroy in me any trace of the extraordinary…but the extraordinary, it seems, was simply out of their reach.&lt;p&gt;So now I stand before you today, beaten, hobbled, and sickened…but, sadly, not broken.&amp;nbsp; And I ''say'' to you, that if it is ''[[greatness]]'' we must ''destroy'', then let us ''drag our [[enemy]]'' out of the ''darkness'', where it has been ''hiding''.&amp;nbsp; Let us shine a light so, at ''last'', all the world can ''see''!
| author = Harrison Bergeron in the short film ''[[2081_(film)|2081]]''
}}&lt;/blockquote&gt;

'''Note:''' Harrison Bergeron was played by the actor Armie Hammer, who was born 28 August 1986.

* 3 (strongly leaning toward 4) [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]] ([[User talk:Allixpeeke|talk]]) 10:21, 25 August 2014 (UTC)
* 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:26, 27 August 2015 (UTC) &lt;s&gt; 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:29, 25 August 2014 (UTC)￼&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2016
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; Let us not seek to [[satisfy]] our thirst for [[freedom]] by [[drinking]] from the cup of bitterness and [[hatred]]. We must [[forever]] conduct our [[struggle]] on the high plane of [[dignity]] and [[discipline]]. We must not allow our [[creative]] [[protest]] to degenerate into [[physical]] [[violence]]. Again and again we must rise to the [[majestic]] heights of meeting physical [[force]] with [[soul]] force.
| author = Martin Luther King, Jr.
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]]&lt;!-- &lt;blockquote&gt;{{quote of the day
| quote = We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of [[dignity]] and discipline.&amp;nbsp; We must not allow our [[creative]] [[protest]] to degenerate into physical [[violence]].&amp;nbsp; Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.
| author = Martin Luther King, Jr.
}}&lt;/blockquote&gt;
'''Note:''' King's &quot;I Have a Dream&quot; speech was delivered on 28 August 1963.&amp;nbsp; This quote is from said speech.
* 3 [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]] ([[User talk:Allixpeeke|talk]]) 10:05, 25 August 2014 (UTC)
* 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:07, 26 August 2016 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:29, 25 August 2014 (UTC)￼&lt;/s&gt; but extended this slightly... --&gt;

; 2017
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; None are more [[hopelessly]] [[enslaved]] than those who [[falsely]] [[believe]] they are [[free]].
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2018
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; Everyone thinks they can [[write]] a play; you just write down what happened to you. But the [[art]] of it is drawing from [[all]] the [[moments]] of your [[life]].
| author = Neil Simon
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:52, 27 August 2018 (UTC) --&gt;, in regard to his recent death.

; 2019
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; ''What dazzles, for the [[Moment]] spends its [[spirit]]: &lt;br /&gt; What's [[genuine]], shall [[Posterity]] [[inherit]].''
| author = [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]] ~&lt;br /&gt; in &lt;br /&gt;~ ''[[Goethe's Faust|Faust]]''
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:11, 28 August 2019 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2020
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; I have joined the [[political]] arena so that the [[powerful]] can no longer beat up on [[people]] that cannot defend themselves. &lt;br /&gt; Nobody knows the [[system]] better than me, which is why I alone can fix it.
| author = Donald Trump
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:00, 28 August 2020 (UTC) --&gt;, in regard of abiding assertions regarding his role as President of the United States of America.

; 2021
{{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; One ought, every day at least, to [[hear]] a little [[song]], [[read]] a good [[poem]], [[see]] a fine [[picture]], and, if it were possible, to [[speak]] a few [[reasonable]] [[words]].
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 20:23, 27 August 2021 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2022
{{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; [[Behaviour]] is a [[mirror]] in which everyone shows his image.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:10, 28 August 2022 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2023 : ''[[August 28|Rank or add further suggestions…]]''
----
&lt;noinclude&gt;
&lt;!-- ----
'''Quotes by people born this day, already used as QOTD:''' --&gt; 
----
{{QOTD Ranking}}
----
----
== Suggestions ==
&lt;!-- ; [[EVENTS OR HOLIDAYS ETC]]
:'''DOB''': [[]] · [[]] --&gt; 
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It is mankind's discovery of language which more than any other single thing has separated him from the animal creation. Without language, what concept have we of past or future as separated from the immediate present? Without language, how can we tell anyone what we feel, or what we think? It might be said that until he developed language, man had no soul, for without language how could he reach deep inside himself and discover the truths that are hidden there, or find out what emotions he shared, or did not share, with his fellow men and women. ~ [[Robertson Davies]]
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 10:24, 23 August 2007 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 23:07, 25 August 2007 (UTC) with a strong lean toward 4.
* 1 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 16:20, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
* 2.5 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 01:55, 15 August 2013 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]] ([[User talk:Allixpeeke|talk]]) 08:58, 25 August 2014 (UTC)

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When young, one is confident to be able to build palaces for mankind, but when the time comes one has one's hands full just to be able to remove their trash. ~ [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]] (dob)
* 3 [[User:Bystander53|bystander]] ([[User talk:Bystander53|talk]]) 16:33, 26 August 2012 (UTC)
* 2 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 01:55, 15 August 2013 (UTC)
* 3 (leaning toward 2 because of the poor grammar; &quot;one&quot; is singular while &quot;their&quot; is plural) [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]] ([[User talk:Allixpeeke|talk]]) 08:58, 25 August 2014 (UTC)

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&lt;blockquote&gt;{{quote of the day
| quote = I had much rather be myself the slave,&lt;br&gt;And wear the bonds, than fasten them on him.&lt;br&gt;We have no slaves at home–Then why abroad?&lt;br&gt;And they themselves once ferried o'er the wave&lt;br&gt;That parts us are emancipate and loosed.&lt;br&gt;Slaves cannot breathe in England; if their lungs&lt;br&gt;Receive our air, that moment they are free.&lt;br&gt;They touch our country, and their shackles fall.&lt;br&gt;That's noble, and bespeaks a nation proud&lt;br&gt;And jealous of the blessing.&amp;nbsp; Spread it then,&lt;br&gt;And let it circulate through every vein&lt;br&gt;Of all your empire; that, where Britain's power&lt;br&gt;Is felt, mankind may feel her mercy too.
| author = William Cowper
}}&lt;/blockquote&gt;

'''Note:''' According to [[w:August_28|this page]], &quot;The [[w:Slavery Abolition Act 1833|Slavery Abolition Act 1833]] receives [[w:Royal Assent|Royal Assent]], abolishing slavery through most the British Empire&quot; on 28 August 1833.

* 3 [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]] ([[User talk:Allixpeeke|talk]]) 08:58, 25 August 2014 (UTC)
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:29, 25 August 2014 (UTC)

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&lt;blockquote&gt;{{quote of the day
| quote = When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the [[United States Constitution|Constitution]] and the [[United States Declaration of Independence|Declaration of Independence]], they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir.&amp;nbsp; This note was a promise that all men, yes black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of [[w:Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness|life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness]].
| author = Martin Luther King, Jr.
}}&lt;/blockquote&gt;

'''Note:''' King's &quot;I Have a Dream&quot; speech was delivered on 28 August 1963.&amp;nbsp; This quote is from said speech.

* 3 [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]] ([[User talk:Allixpeeke|talk]]) 10:05, 25 August 2014 (UTC)
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:29, 25 August 2014 (UTC)

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&lt;blockquote&gt;{{quote of the day
| quote =&lt;p&gt; [[Racism]] is the lowest, most crudely primitive form of [[collectivism]].&amp;nbsp; It is the notion of ascribing moral, social or political significance to a man's genetic lineage—the notion that a man's intellectual and characterological traits are produced and transmitted by his internal body chemistry.&amp;nbsp; Which means, in practice, that a man is to be judged, not by his own [[character]] and [[actions]], but by the characters and actions of a collective of ancestors.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Racism claims that the content of a man's [[mind]] (not his cognitive apparatus, but its ''content'') is inherited; that a man's [[convictions]], [[values]] and character are determined before he is born, by physical forces beyond his control.&amp;nbsp; This is the caveman's version of the doctrine of innate ideas—or of inherited knowledge—which has been thoroughly refuted by [[philosophy]] and [[science]].&amp;nbsp; Racism is a doctrine of, by and for brutes.&lt;/p&gt;
| author = Ayn Rand
}}&lt;/blockquote&gt;

'''Note:''' King's &quot;I Have a Dream&quot; speech was delivered on 28 August 1963.&amp;nbsp; This quote was written around the same time as King's speech.

* 3 (very strongly leaning toward 4) [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]] ([[User talk:Allixpeeke|talk]]) 10:05, 25 August 2014 (UTC)
* 3, but tenuously; I like the quote, but the link to the date seems tenuous. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:29, 25 August 2014 (UTC)
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&lt;blockquote&gt;{{quote of the day
| quote = I'm fairly certain [[YOLO]] is [[Horace|Carpe Diem]] for [[stupid]] [[people]].
| author = Jack Black
}}&lt;/blockquote&gt;

'''Note:''' Jack Black was born 28 August 1969.

* 2 (leaning toward 3) [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]] ([[User talk:Allixpeeke|talk]]) 10:21, 25 August 2014 (UTC)
* 2 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:29, 25 August 2014 (UTC)

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&lt;blockquote&gt;{{quote of the day
| quote = First you have to know—not fear, ''know''—that, someday, you're gonna die.
| author = Tyler Durden in ''[[Fight Club (film)|Fight Club]]''
}}&lt;/blockquote&gt;

'''Note:''' The film ''Fight Club'' was directed by David Fincher who, in turn, was born 28 August 1962.

* 3 [[User:Allixpeeke|allixpeeke]] ([[User talk:Allixpeeke|talk]]) 10:21, 25 August 2014 (UTC)
* 2 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:29, 25 August 2014 (UTC)

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{{quote of the day
| quote = The first and last thing demanded of [[genius]] is [[love]] of [[truth]].
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC) with a strong lean toward 4.

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{{quote of the day
| quote = You ask which form of [[government]] is the best? Whichever [[teaches]] us to govern [[ourselves]].
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

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{{quote of the day
| quote = [[Piety]] is not an end but a means to attain by the greatest peace of mind the highest degree of culture. &lt;br /&gt; This is why we may say that those who parade piety as a purpose and an aim mostly turn into hypocrites.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

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{{quote of the day
| quote = A noble person attracts noble people, and knows how to hold on to them.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

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{{quote of the day
| quote = Investigate what is, and not what pleases.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

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{{quote of the day
| quote = The greatest happiness for the thinking man is to have fathomed the fathomable, and to quietly revere the unfathomable.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

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{{quote of the day
| quote = ''Age does not make us childish, as they say. &lt;br /&gt; It only finds us true children still.''
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

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{{quote of the day
| quote = There are occasions ... when all consolation is base and it is a duty to despair.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

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{{quote of the day
| quote = A world without love would be no world.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

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{{quote of the day
| quote = The deed is everything, the glory nothing.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

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{{quote of the day
| quote = Nothing is more frightful than to see [[ignorance]] in action.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

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{{quote of the day
| quote = ''All perishable is but an allegory.''
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

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{{quote of the day
| quote = All poetry is supposed to be instructive but in an unnoticeable manner; it is supposed to make us aware of what it would be valuable to instruct ourselves in; we must deduce the lesson on our own, just as with life.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

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{{quote of the day
| quote = One must ''be'' something in order to ''do'' something.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

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{{quote of the day
| quote = The man who, solely from regard to the [[opinion]] of others, and without any [[wish]] or [[necessity]] of his own, [[toils]] after [[gold]], [[honour]], or any other phantom, is no better than a [[fool]].
| author = [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]] ~&lt;br /&gt; in &lt;br /&gt;~ ''[[The Sorrows of Young Werther]]''
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

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{{quote of the day
| quote = One never goes so far as when one doesn't know where one is going.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

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{{quote of the day
| quote = [[Life]] [[teaches]] us to be less harsh with ourselves and with others.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

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{{quote of the day
| quote = One [[lives]] but once in the [[world]].
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

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{{quote of the day
| quote = ''All that must disappear&lt;br&gt;Is but a parable;&lt;br&gt;What lay beyond us, here&lt;br&gt;All is made visible;&lt;br&gt;Here deeds have understood&lt;br&gt;Words they were darkened by;&lt;br&gt;The Eternal Feminine&lt;br&gt;Draws us on high.''
| author = [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]] ~&lt;br /&gt; in &lt;br /&gt;~ ''[[Goethe's Faust| Goethe's ''Faust'']]''
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC) with a strong lean toward 4.

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{{quote of the day
| quote = There is [[strong]] [[shadow]] where there is much [[light]].
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:30, 27 August 2017 (UTC)

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&quot;Hughie, get your tanks off my lawn.&quot;&quot; -- [[Harold Wilson]]
* Submitted by {{user|DarcyTy 1}}
* 1, with a lean toward 0; this appears to have no strong relation to this date and does not seem a highly notable statement. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 07:07, 26 August 2018 (UTC)

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&lt;!-- interwiki start --&gt;

&lt;!-- interwiki end --&gt;
&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
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  <page>
    <title>David Petraeus</title>
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      <text bytes="10239" xml:space="preserve">[[File:David H. Petraeus press briefing 2007.jpg|thumb| There are no easy choices. The way ahead will be very hard … But hard is not hopeless.]]
[[File:Barack Obama 2008 Iraq 1.jpg|thumb|right|Political progress will only take place if sufficient security exists.]]
'''[[w:David Petraeus|David Howell Petraeus]]''' (born [[November 7]], [[1952]]) is a retired [[United States Army]] [[w:General (United States)|general]] and public official. He served as [[w:Director of the Central Intelligence Agency|Director of the Central Intelligence Agency]] from September 6, 2011, until his resignation on November 9, 2012. Prior to his assuming the directorship of the CIA, Petraeus served 37 years in the United States Army. His last assignments in the Army were as commander of the [[w:International Security Assistance Force|International Security Assistance Force]] (ISAF) and commander, U.S. Forces – Afghanistan (USFOR-A) from July 4, 2010, to July 18, 2011. His other [[w:4 star rank|four-star]] assignments include serving as the 10th commander, [[w:United States Central Command|U.S. Central Command]] (USCENTCOM) from October 13, 2008, to June 30, 2010, and as commanding general, [[w:Multinational Force Iraq|Multi-National Force – Iraq]] (MNF-I) from February 10, 2007, to September 16, 2008. As commander of MNF-I, Petraeus oversaw all coalition forces in Iraq.

== Quotes ==
* '''There are no easy choices. The way ahead will be very hard.''' Progress will require determination and difficult U.S. and Iraqi actions, especially the latter, as ultimately the outcome will be determined by the Iraqis. '''But hard is not hopeless''', and if confirmed, I pledge to do my utmost to lead our wonderful men and women in uniform and those of our coalition partners in Iraq as we endeavor to help the Iraqis make the most of the opportunity our soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines have given to them.
** [http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/23/world/middleeast/24petraeustextcnd.html?_r=1&amp;pagewanted=all &quot;General Petraeus’s Opening Statement&quot; (23 January 2007)]

* Syria has allowed its soil to be transited by foreign fighters who have come from a variety of source countries in the Gulf area and in the — in North African countries. &lt;br&gt; There are some signs that that may have been reduced somewhat in the last couple of months. We need to watch that a bit and see if that is the case. 
** As quoted in [http://media.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/documents/ranking_committee_members_grill_petraeus_crocker_10.html &quot;Ranking House Committee Members Grill Crocker and Petraeus on U.S. Progress in Iraq&quot; in ''The Washington Post'' (10 September 2007)]

* Iran, as we have already discussed, has carried out very, very harmful activities inside Iraq. Funding, trainings, arming and, in some cases, even directing the activities of the special groups associated with the Jaish al-Mahdi and the Sadr Militia.
** As quoted in &quot;Ranking House Committee Members Grill Crocker and Petraeus on U.S. Progress in Iraq&quot; in ''The Washington Post'' (10 September 2007)

* '''Political progress will only take place if sufficient security exists.'''
** [http://media.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/documents/armed_services_cmte_hearing_091107.html &quot;Crocker, Petraeus Testify Before the Senate Armed Services Committee on Iraq&quot; in ''The Washington Post'' (11 September 2007)]

== Quotes about Petraeus ==

* Another practitioner of the counterinsurgency war was General David Petraeus. I first met him at Fort Campbell in 2004. He had a reputation as one of the smartest and most dynamic young generals in the Army. He had graduated near the top of his class at West Point and earned a Ph.D. from Princeton. In 1991, he was accidentally shot in the chest during a training exercise. He endured a sixty-mile helicopter flight to Vanderbilt University Medical Center, where his life was saved by Dr. Bill Frist, later the Republican leader of the Senate. Early in the war, General Petraeus had commanded the 101st Airborne Division in Mosul. He sent his troops to live alongside the Iraqi residents and patrol the streets on foot. Their presence reassured residents that we were there to protect them. Petraeus then held local elections to form a provincial council, spent reconstruction funds to revive economic activity, and reopened the border with Syria to facilitate trade. His approach was textbook counterinsurgency. To defeat the enemy, he was trying to win over the people. It worked. While violence in much of Iraq increased, Mosul remained relatively calm. But When we reduced troops in Mosul, violence returned. The same would happen in Tal Afar.
** George W. Bush, ''Decision Points'' (2010), p. 365

* Teamed up with General Dave Petraeus (Commander Central Command and responsible for the entire region), America now has two generals who understand how to fight on the battlefield, as well as in Washington for resources. Stan McChrystal made an assessment of the situation he inherited and immediately saw the mission/resource mismatch. His request for thirty-thousand additional troops, while not a political best-seller in Washington, came at a critical time to reverse the trend he found in Afghanistan- a growing insurgency, a reemerging Taliban, and a loss of confidence by the Afghan people, which undermines the confidence the international community has in Karazai. Today, it appears that Generals Petraeus and McChrystal (Commander U.S. Forces Afghanistan) are starting to turn things around. Only time will tell if the U.S. effort, as a part of NATO, will be able to leave behind a stable Afghanistan with a more sophisticated infrastructure and systems resembling today's more modern nations. For sure, it won't be easy or fast. But if we remember the conditions that led to 9/11 and take into consideration the possible outcome of an al-Qaeda-controlled Afghanistan that already has a toehold in Afghanistan's next-door, nuclear-armed neighbor, Pakistan, we just might conclude that the effort will be well worth it.
** Hugh Shelton, ''Without Hesitation: The Odyssey of an American Warrior'' (2010), p. 510-511

== External links == 
{{wikipedia}}
{{Commons|David H. Petraeus}}
{{Wikisource_author|David H. Petraeus}}
*[http://www.centcom.mil/en/about-centcom/leadership/ Official Army biography]
*[http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8757649066985328357&amp;q=tvshow%3ACharlie_Rose Charlie Rose TV program: ''An hour with General David Petraeus''] Google Video of program taped 2007-04-26
*[http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/people/p/david_h_petraeus/index.html Profile in ''The New York Times'']
*[http://www.wws.princeton.edu/qzalumni/testimonials/petraeus.html Graduate Alumni profile] Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs
*[http://www.anarmyatdawn.com/companyofsoldiers/ &quot;In Company of Soldiers&quot; (March 15, 2004) by Rick Atkinson]
*[http://www.iraqfoundation.org/news/2003/isept/4_airborne.html &quot;101st Airborne Scores Success in Reconstruction of Northern Iraq&quot; (September 4, 2003) by Michael R. Gordon, The New York Times]
*[http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9902E5DF1230F937A35757C0A9629C8B63 &quot;The Story of O&quot; (April 4, 2004) written by Christopher Dickey, The New York Times]
*[http://www.usnews.com/usnews/news/articles/051031/31petraeus.htm &quot;An Open Mind For A New Army&quot; (October 31, 2005) by Julian E. Barnes,U.S. News &amp; World Report]
*[http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/05/world/middleeast/05military.html &quot;Bush To Name A New General To Oversee Iraq&quot; (January 5, 2006) by Michael R. Gordon, The New York Times]
*[https://archive.is/20121206025150/www.dailyprincetonian.com/archives/2006/10/26/news/16382.shtml &quot;Our Man in Iraq&quot; (October 26, 2006) by Wesley Morgan, The Daily Princetonian]
*[http://usacac.army.mil/CAC/Repository/Materials/COIN-FM3-24.pdf &quot;FM 3-24 New Army/Marine Counterinsurgency Manual, (December, 2006), Foreword written by LTG David Petraeus]
*[http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6730560 &quot;Leader of the Fabled 101st to Command in Iraq&quot; (January 5, 2007) by Tom Bowman, NPR]
*[http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/01/06/AR2007010601185_pf.html &quot;Iraq Will be Petraeus' Knot to Untie&quot; (January 6, 2007) by Rick Atkinson, The Washington Post]
*[https://archive.is/20130102112938/www.dailyprincetonian.com/archives/2007/01/10/news/17054.shtml &quot;Petraeus Takes Reins in Iraq&quot; (January 10, 2007) by Wesley Morgan, The Daily Princetonian]
*[https://archive.is/20121216054514/www.dailyprincetonian.com/archives/2007/01/12/news/17068.shtml &quot;Petraeus Faces Tough Road in Iraq (January 12, 2007) by Wesley Morgan, The Daily Princetonian]
*[http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/01/12/AR2007011201955_pf.html &quot;Petraeus on Vietnam's Legacy&quot; (January 14, 2007) by Rachel Dry, The Washington Post]—excerpts Petraeus' doctoral dissertation, &quot;The American Military and the Lessons of Vietnam.&quot;
*[http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/01/26/iraq.general.ap/index.html &quot;Senate confirms new top general for Iraq&quot; (January 26, 2007) Associated Press, CNN]
*[http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/opinion/orl-alvarez2807jan28,0,3172287.story?coll=orl-opinion-headlines &quot;David and Goliath, and Petraeus&quot; (January 28, 2007) by Steven Alvarez, The Orlando Sentinel]
*[http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/6285156.stm &quot;US Iraq chief warns of long war&quot; (July 9, 2007)  BBC News]
*[http://www.newsweek.com/id/123475/page/1 &quot;Scions of the Surge&quot; (March 24, 2008) Newsweek]
*[http://men.style.com/gq/features/landing?id=content_7599  &quot;Leader of the Year: Right Man, Right Time&quot; by Lisa DePaulo]
*[http://www.newsweek.com/id/176300 &quot;The Story of Power&quot; by John Meacham]
*[http://www.prospect-magazine.co.uk/article_details.php?id=10558 &quot;An Intellectual Surge&quot; by James Crabtree].
*[http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/nation/thegamble/ The Generals' Insurgency: The Story Behind the U.S. Troop Surge in Iraq]. ''Washington Post.''

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    <title>The Thing (1982 film)</title>
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[[File:Camp-Academia.jpg|thumb|right|Nobody…nobody trusts anybody now.]]
[[File:Douglas_Island_as_seen_from_mainland_Juneau,_Alaska.jpg|thumb|200px|Some say the world will end by fire. Others say it will end by ice. Now, somewhere in the Antarctic, the question is being settled forever.]]
[[File:2015-08-07_Salmon_Glacier,_BC,_Canada_1016.jpg|thumb|200px|Twelve men have just discovered something. For 100,000 years, it was buried in the snow and ice. Now it has found a place to live. Inside. '''Where no one can see it. Or hear it. Or feel it.''']]
'''''[[w:The Thing (1982 film)|The Thing]]''''', also known as '''''John Carpenter's The Thing''''', is a [[w:1982 in film|1982]] science fiction horror film about an Antarctic science base which is infiltrated by a shape-shifting alien that assumes the appearance of the people that it kills. Ostensibly a remake of the 1951 [[w:Christian Nyby|Christian Nyby]] film ''[[The Thing From Another World]]'', Carpenter’s film is more faithful to the original novella “[[w:Who Goes There?|Who Goes There?]]” by [[w:John W. Campbell, Jr.|John W. Campbell]]''
:''Directed by [[John Carpenter]]. Written by [[w:Bill Lancaster|Bill Lancaster]], based on the novella ''[[w:Who Goes There?|Who Goes There?]]'' by [[W:John W. Campbell Jr.|John W. Campbell Jr.]].
{{center|'''Man is the warmest place to hide''' &lt;small&gt;[[#Taglines|taglines]]&lt;/small&gt;}}
{{film-stub}}
== MacReady ==
[[File:Corp1597 - Flickr - NOAA Photo Library.jpg|thumb|right| I know I'm human. And if you were all these things, then you'd just attack me right now, so some of you are still human. This thing doesn't want to show itself, it wants to hide inside an imitation. It'll fight if it has to, but it's vulnerable out in the open. If it takes us over, then it has no more enemies, nobody left to kill it. And then it's won.]]
[[File:Alamy_WM_1506.jpg|thumb|We're gonna draw a little bit of everybody's blood... 'cause we're gonna find out who's The Thing. Watching Norris in there gave me the idea that maybe every part of you bastards is a whole. Every piece of you is self-sufficient, an animal unto itself. When a man bleeds, it's just tissue. But blood from one of you Things won't obey. It's a newly formed individual with a built-in desire to protect its own life. When attacked, your blood will try and survive — and crawl away from a hot needle, say.]]

* ''[talking into tape recorder]'' I'm gonna hide this tape when I'm finished. If none of us make it, at least there'll be some kind of record. The storm's been hitting us hard now for 48 hours. We still have nothing to go on. ''[turns off tape recorder and takes a drink of whisky. He looks at the torn long johns and turns it back on]'' One other thing: I think it rips through your clothes when it takes you over. Windows found some shredded long johns, but the nametag was missing. They could be anybody's. Nobody... nobody trusts anybody now, and we're all very tired. Nothing else I can do, just wait... R.J. MacReady, helicopter pilot, US outpost number 31. ''[turns off recorder]''
* I know I'm human. And if you were all these things, then you'd just attack me right now, so some of you are still human. This thing doesn't want to show itself, it wants to hide inside an imitation. It'll fight if it has to, but it's vulnerable out in the open. If it takes us over, then it has no more enemies, nobody left to kill it. And then it's won.
* We're gonna draw a little bit of everybody's blood... 'cause we're gonna find out who's The Thing. Watching Norris in there gave me the idea that maybe every part of you bastards is a whole. Every piece of you is self-sufficient, an animal unto itself. When a man bleeds, it's just tissue. But blood from one of you Things won't obey. It's a newly formed individual with a built-in desire to protect its own life. When attacked, your blood will try and survive — and crawl away from a hot needle, say.
* ''[on finding a partially-assembled spaceship beneath the tool shed]'' Blair's been busy out here all by himself.
* ''[the Thing roars at MacReady]'' YEAH, FUCK YOU TOO!!! ''[throws stick of dynamite]''

== Others ==
* '''Clark''': I don't know what the hell's in there, but it's weird and pissed off, whatever it is.
* '''Garry''': ''[after passing the blood test]'' I know you gentlemen have been through a lot. But when you find the time... I'd rather not spend the rest of the winter ''TIED TO THIS FUCKING COUCH!''
* '''Norris''': This is just what it wants! To pit us against each other!

== Dialogue ==
:'''MacReady''': I don't know. Thousands of years ago it crashes, and this thing... gets thrown out, or crawls out, and it ends up freezing in the ice.
:'''Childs''': I just cannot believe any of this voodoo bullshit.
:'''Palmer''': Childs, happens all the time, man. They're falling out of the skies like flies. Government knows all about it, right, Mac?
:'''Childs''': You believe any of this voodoo bullshit, Blair?
:'''Palmer''': Childs, Childs... [[w:Chariots of the Gods?|Chariots of the Gods]], man. They practically own South America. I mean, they taught the Incas everything they know.
:'''Garry''': So, come on now, MacReady, Norwegians get ahold of this... and they dig it up out of the ice.
:'''MacReady''': Yes, Garry, they dig it up, they cart it back, it gets thawed out, wakes up - probably not the best of moods - I don't know, I wasn't there!
:'''Nauls''': ''[skates in with ripped long johns]'' Which one of you disrespectful men been tossing his dirty drawers in the kitchen trash can, huh? From now, I want my kitchen clean, all right? Germ free!
:'''Childs''': So how's this motherfucker wake up after thousands of years in the ice?
:'''Bennings''': And how can it look like a dog?
:'''MacReady''': I don't know how. 'Cause it's different than us, see? 'Cause it's from outer space. What do you want from me? Ask him! ''[motions to Blair]''
:'''Childs''': You buy any of this Blair?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blair''': ''[showing the remains of the dog-thing to the entire camp]'' You see, what we're talkin' about here is an organism that imitates other life-forms, and it imitates 'em perfectly. When this thing attacked our dogs it tried to digest them... absorb them, and in the process shape its own cells to imitate them. This for instance. That's not dog. It's imitation. We got to it before it had time to finish.
:'''Norris''': Finish what?
:'''Blair''': Finish imitating these dogs.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''MacReady''': Somebody in this camp ain't what he appears to be. Right now that may be one or two of us. By Spring, it could be all of us.
:'''Childs''': So, how do we know who's human? If I was an imitation, a perfect imitation, how would you know if it was really me?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''MacReady''': All right, we gotta find him. Nauls, why don’t you come with me and we'll go outside. Palmer, you and Windows check the inside.
:'''Palmer''': I ain't going with Windows. I ain't going with him, I'll go with Childs--
:'''Windows''': Hey, FUCK YOU, Palmer!
:'''Palmer''': I ain't going with you!
:'''Childs''': Who says I want you going with me?!
:'''MacReady''': ALL RIGHT, CUT THE BULLSHIT! Windows, you come with us. Norris, you stay here. Any of them move, you fry them. You hear anything, anything at all, you cut loose on the sirens. We all meet here in 20 minutes regardless. And everybody watch who you're with, real close.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''MacReady''': How you doin', old boy?
:'''Blair''': I don't know who to trust.
:'''MacReady''': I know what you mean, Blair. Trust's a tough thing to come by these days. Tell you what - why don't you just trust in the Lord?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blair''': ''[throwing a fit in the radio room]'' Nobody gets in and out of here! NOBODY! You guys think I'M crazy! Well, that's fine! Most of ya don't know what's goin' on around here, but I'm damn well sure SOME of you do!
:'''MacReady''': Christ!
:'''Childs''': He got most of the chopper and the tractor. And he's killed the rest of the dogs.
:'''MacReady''': ''[as Garry advances with his gun]'' Garry, wait a minute, wait a minute. Now, Childs, go around to the map room door. Talk to him.
:'''Childs''': Yeah.
:''[Childs exits]''
:'''MacReady''': Norris, get a table from the lab.
:'''Blair''': ''[still smashing up the radio room with an axe while yelling]'' D'ya think that thing wanted to be an animal?! No dogs make it a thousand miles through the cold! No, you don't understand! That thing wanted to be US! If a cell gets out, it could imitate everything on the FACE OF THE EARTH! AND NOTHING CAN STOP IT!
:'''Childs''': ''[appearing in the map room doorway]'' Okay, Blair. Come on, man, you don't wanna hurt anybody.
:''[Blair whips a pistol out and shoots at Childs but misses]''
:'''Blair''': I'LL KILL YOU!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''MacReady''': Blair... he got back inside and blew the generator. In six hours, it'll be 100 below in here!
:'''Garry''': Well, that's suicide!
:'''MacReady''': Not for that Thing. It wants to freeze now. It's got no way out of here. It just wants to go to sleep in the cold until the rescue team finds it.
:'''Garry''': What can we do? What can we do?
:'''MacReady''': Whether we make it or not, we can't let the Thing freeze again. Maybe we'll just warm things up a little around here. We're not gettin' outta here alive. But neither is that Thing.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Childs''': You the only one who made it?.
:'''MacReady''': Not the only one.
:'''Childs''': Did you kill it?
:'''MacReady''': Where were you, Childs?
:'''Childs''': Thought I saw Blair. I went out after him and got lost in the storm. Fire's got the temperature up all over the camp. Won't last long, though.
:'''MacReady''': Neither will we.
:'''Childs''': How will we make it?
:'''MacReady''': Maybe we shouldn't.
:'''Childs''': If you're worried about me...
:'''MacReady''': If we've got any surprises for each other, I don't think we're in much shape to do anything about it. 
:'''Childs''': Well...What do we do?
:'''MacReady''': ''[slumping back]'' Why don't we just...Wait here for a little while? See what happens.

== Taglines ==
* ''[from teaser trailer]'' Some say the world will end by fire. Others say it will end by ice. Now, somewhere in the Antarctic, the question is being settled forever.
* ''[from theatrical trailer]'' Twelve men have just discovered something. For 100,000 years, it was buried in the snow and ice. Now it has found a place to live. Inside. '''Where no one can see it. Or hear it. Or feel it.'''
* ''[from TV spot]'' Its origin: alien. Location: Antarctica. Age: unknown. Intent: survival. Destination: MAN.
* '''Man is the warmest place to hide.'''
* Look closely at your neighbors. Don't trust anybody.
* '''The ultimate in alien terror.'''
* Anytime. Anywhere. Anyone.
* Look closely at your neighbour ... Trust no-one ... They might be THE THING [UK video box]
* There is an imposter... among us.

== About ''The Thing (1982 film)'' ==
[[File:Pole-from-air.jpg|thumb|I just really connected to it. This crazy suspense leads to terror to a place suspense rarely ever gets to…The paranoia amongst the characters was so strong, trapped in that enclosure for so long, that it just bounced off all the walls until it had nowhere to go but out into the audience. ~ [[Quentin Tarantino]]]]
*'''Masur''': My character's defining characteristic was that he wasn't really interested in people, but rather loved working with dogs. I got the idea for the character's personality from working with Jed the wolf-dog. &lt;br&gt; There was a little room off to the side in the sound stage. During the rehearsal period, dog trainer Clint Rowe brought Jed the wolf-dog in to get him used to the sound and smell of people. He was a young dog, so he was very jumpy. I worked with Jed and Clint for an hour on the first day of rehearsals and every day after that. It worked out very well during shooting, too. Jed would come and stand next to me, and he wouldn't do that thing that dogs do where they look back at their handlers. If you watch the scenes between us, he's never looking at my hand for a treat. He's just there with me; he's making his own choices. That’s what makes his performance so spooky.
*'''Masur''': During rehearsal, [Keith David] and I started talking about how our characters felt about each other. That’s how we [knew we didn't like each other.] Like in the scene where Childs pulls a gun on my character and I pull a knife on him. Mind you: In California, it was really hard to get a knife that would flip open. I wanted it to be a buck knife, so I got one at a survivalist store. And while I was there, I also got a little attachment so you could flick the knife open with your thumb. I oiled the hell out of that knife and cut my hand several times.
*'''Clennon''': We wasted hours and hours of rehearsal time discussing fucking metaphysics! Some of the actors were obsessed with this question: When you become the Thing — when the alien takes over your mind and body — do you know that you've become the Thing? Or do you just go on thinking that you are your old self? I couldn't see the point of solving that silly riddle. What difference was it going to make in anybody's performance? The story's point was that every creature looked, sounded and smelled exactly the way it did before the alien took it over.
*'''Masur''': There were two sets that were refrigerated, but I didn't work on either of them. There was the Norwegian camp, and then the room with the ice block. Those sets were on the same stage. They figured out how to make the sets look very cold from the original The Thing from Another World. You have to keep the sets at about 40 degrees, just above freezing. And then you have to spray humidity into the air. It's the humidity that makes it possible to see the actors' breath. But most of the time, we were working in full arctic gear on a nicely air-conditioned sound stage. It was only horrible when we went outside.
*'''Clennon''': It was all happening in front of us: We didn't have to imagine some post-production [computer-generated] effects and then pretend to be shocked or mesmerized. Rob Bottin gave us all we needed to be well and truly freaked.
:'''Brimley''': I've personally never been a big fan of rubber dogs, monsters, special effects and stuff like that. But on this occasion, it seemed necessary. These things did not look like puppets. They were hideous. I mean, the dogs in the movie — the real dogs — were nice to be around. But the creatures that that kid Rob created were horrible! [Editor's Note: Stan Winston designed the dog-related special effects.]
*'''Carpenter''': I'm always concerned about safety, so any time you set somebody on fire … jeez. We also held our breath every time the actors used [flamethrowers]. [Laughs] These things shoot gasoline and are on fire! And these are actors. You just don't know. They might turn around to ask you a question and burn you up. We trained the actors to put out the fire during the scene in the dog kennel. They ran in and put it out. They actually put out the fire too quickly. But I didn't worry about it then … and I usually worry about everything.
*'''Clennon''': I think I saw the film at a cast-and-crew screening. Alien was still fresh in my mind. That film was very effective because you had a clear fix on who each of the characters were. So when the alien was stalking a particular crew member, you had an emotional investment in that character. Take Harry Dean Stanton and his kitten, for instance. You really didn't want the alien to shred him or his kitten. &lt;br&gt; In The Thing, [screenwriter] Bill Lancaster had written scenes that introduced each of the 12 men. And we shot those scenes — maybe two, three minutes total — but John left that material out during editing. I felt the audience didn't have a chance to identify each character before they got sucked up into being a Thing. It was a little fuzzy at first: &quot;Who's that guy? Is he the biologist? The geologist? The company doctor? Should I care?&quot; I think that made it harder for a general audience to get involved in The Thing. Maybe that's why Alien had a broader appeal and drew bigger crowds into the theaters. &lt;br&gt; Then again, The Thing has its own integrity. It's a colder, harder, darker world. The outpost culture is totally male, and the outlook at the end is grim and pessimistic.
:* Simon Abrams, Matt Zoller Seitz, [https://www.laweekly.com/film/the-men-who-were-the-thing-look-back-on-a-modern-horror-classic-7481937 &quot;The Men Who Were The Thing Look Back on a Modern Horror Classic&quot;], ''L.A. Weekly'', (October 13, 2016).

* While ''The Thing'' is now regarded as the pinnacle of practical prosthetic effects, its power comes equally from its oozy tactile quality and disturbing flights of twisted imagination; a dog splits in two, a chest undergoing an autopsy grows fleshy jaws and bites a surgeon’s arms off, a head sprouts spider-legs and toddles off. The Thing became became Bottin’s labour of love and it nearly killed him. &lt;br&gt; “I wanted this stuff to come out great,” he remembered. “So I actually lived at Universal for a year and five weeks, without taking a day off. I’d sleep on the sets, in the locker rooms, in the labs. I ended up in hospital at the end of the show.”
** [[Rick Baker]], as quoted in [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/film/hateful-eight/john-carpenter-the-thing-quentin-tarantino/ &quot;Paranoia, claustrophobia, lots of men: how The Thing inspired Tarantino's Hateful Eight&quot;], by Ian Freer, ''The Telegraph'', (7 Jan, 2016).
* There are significant differences, too. For where Alien boasted an on-board computer nicknamed ‘Mother’, a female protagonist and an egg-born nemesis, The Thing is set in an all-male environment, and is as much a study of masculinity in crisis as an update of the sort of siege scenario that Carpenter had already played out in ''[[Assault on Precinct 13]]''. &lt;br&gt; The first time we meet chopper pilot and hero RJ MacReady (Carpenter regular Kurt Russell), a loner who lives apart from the rest of the crew’s quarters in a shack outside, he is in the rec room, pouring himself a scotch on ice, and resuming a game of chess – not with one of his companions, but with the computer. “Poor baby, you’re starting to lose it,” he comments, before the Chess Wizard checkmates him. With his masculine ego damaged, MacReady’s response is to pour his drink into the computer’s circuitry, frying it with the words, “Cheating bitch.” It is a misogynistic slur (accompanied by an absurd destructive act) against the only presence on the station that might be deemed female – for the Chess Wizard, despite its masculine name, has the distinctive voice of a woman (in fact Carpenter’s then wife Adrienne Barbeau). &lt;br&gt; With that word ‘bitch’ still ringing in the audience’s ears, Carpenter cuts away to the husky outside, racing from its armed Norwegian pursuers to the relative shelter of the American station – and through the magical implicature of editing, we infer that this new arrival is also a bitch, come to invade this male community with her feminine otherness – even as it smuggles in all the alien cells that will be these men’s ultimate undoing.
** Anton Bevil, [https://lwlies.com/articles/john-carpenter-the-thing-blu-ray-review/ &quot;How John Carpenter’s The Thing became a horror/sci-fi classic&quot;], ''Little White Lies'', (23 Oct 2017).
* “It was so frightening that my popcorn flew out of my hand,” said Carpenter who included clips of the film in his 1978 box office smash Halloween. “The original story was like Agatha Christie’s Ten Little Indians, with the creature imitating one or all of them. And that idea fascinated me.”
* “A lot of movies up to that point had always ended up with a man in a suit,” Carpenter recounted in the documentary Terror Takes Shape. “Even in ''[[Alien (film)|Alien]]'', as well done as it was, there’s one shot where this thing stands up and you realize it’s a big guy in a suit. Great suit, but still a suit.  So the whole point of The Thing was to say, “Let’s do the granddaddy of monsters, and let’s actually show it.”
* Basking in the afterglow of a warmer alien visitation – ''[[E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial|E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial]]'' had opened two weeks earlier and was charming everything before it – [[Ronald Reagan]]’s America rejected The Thing’s ambiguous nihilism wholesale. It was, in Carpenter’s words, “El Tanko”. &lt;br&gt; “It was unpleasant for audiences for deal with,” he later reflected. “I think the social climate in the country at that time had a lot to do with it. There was a recession under way and people rejected its downbeat, depressing view of things. They didn’t like the horrible inevitability of the movie.”
* It is annually the film of choice for the scientists arriving on the first night at the [[w:Amundsen-Scott South Pole Station|Amundsen-Scott South Pole Station]] on June 2 (they end their stay by watching The Shining, perhaps when the madness has set in) and inspired a short story by Canadian writer Peter Watts that recasts the events of the film from the point of view of the Thing itself, struggling to understand why it is receiving such hostility.
** [[John Carpenter]] as quoted in [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/film/hateful-eight/john-carpenter-the-thing-quentin-tarantino/ &quot;Paranoia, claustrophobia, lots of men: how The Thing inspired Tarantino's Hateful Eight&quot;], by Ian Freer, ''The Telegraph'', (7 Jan, 2016).
* People hated it. It was HATED. Especially by the horror fans. I thought that was the best film I’d made but everybody dumped on it
** John Carpenter as quoted in [http://nerdist.com/john-carpenter-discusses-lost-themes-scream-queens-and-the-thing-part-2/ &quot;John Carpenter Discusses Lost Themes Scream Queens and The Thing&quot;] by Clarke Wolf, ''Nerdist'', (Jan 30, 2015).
* [Morricone] did all the orchestrations and recorded for me 20 minutes of music I could use wherever I wished but without seeing any footage. I cut his music into the film and realized that there were places, mostly scenes of tension, in which his music would not work... I secretly ran off and recorded in a couple of days a few pieces to use. My pieces were very simple electronic pieces – it was almost tones. It was not really music at all but just background sounds, something today you might even consider as sound effects.
** John Carpenter [http://www.slashfilm.com/john-carpenters-anthology-movie-themes-1974-1998-resurrects-the-horror-masters-classic-music/ &quot;John Carpenter's 'Anthology: Movie Themes 1974-1998' Resurrects the Horror Master's Classic Music&quot;]. /Film. (October 19, 2017)
* I've asked [Carpenter], as he was preparing some electronic music with an assistant to edit on the film, &quot;Why did you call me, if you want to do it on your own?&quot; He surprised me, he said – &quot;I got married to your music. This is why I've called you.&quot; ... Then when he showed me the film, later when I wrote the music, we didn't exchange ideas. He ran away, nearly ashamed of showing it to me. I wrote the music on my own without his advice. Naturally, as I had become quite clever since 1982, I've written several scores relating to my life. And I had written one, which was electronic music. And [Carpenter] took the electronic score.
** Chris Evangelista, [http://www.slashfilm.com/john-carpenters-anthology-movie-themes-1974-1998-resurrects-the-horror-masters-classic-music/ &quot;John Carpenter's 'Anthology: Movie Themes 1974-1998' Resurrects the Horror Master's Classic Music&quot;]. /Film. (October 19, 2017)
* The professional reviews were similarly damning. “The quintessential moron movie of the eighties” screamed Vincent Canby in the New York Times. “The Thing is so single-mindedly determined to keep you awake that it almost puts you to sleep,” derided David Ansen in Newsweek. Adding insult to injury, even Christian Nyby, the director of the original, weighed in. “If you want blood, go to the slaughterhouse. All in all, it's a terrific commercial for J&amp;B Scotch.”
** Ian Freer, [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/film/hateful-eight/john-carpenter-the-thing-quentin-tarantino/ &quot;Paranoia, claustrophobia, lots of men: how The Thing inspired Tarantino's Hateful Eight&quot;], ''The Telegraph'', (7 Jan, 2016).
* “It was the way I felt watching The Thing the first time I saw it in a movie theatre,” he continued. “I just really connected to it. This crazy suspense leads to terror to a place suspense rarely ever gets to…The paranoia amongst the characters was so strong, trapped in that enclosure for so long, that it just bounced off all the walls until it had nowhere to go but out into the audience. That is what I was trying to achieve with The Hateful Eight.”
** [[Quentin Tarantino]] [http://www.dga.org/Events/2016/jan2016/HatefulEight_QnA_1215.aspx as quoted] in [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/film/hateful-eight/john-carpenter-the-thing-quentin-tarantino/ &quot;Paranoia, claustrophobia, lots of men: how The Thing inspired Tarantino's Hateful Eight&quot;], by Ian Freer, ''The Telegraph'', (7 Jan, 2016).

== Cast ==
* [[Kurt Russell]] - MacReady
* [[w:Wilford Brimley|Wilford Brimley]] - Blair
* [[w:Keith David|Keith David]] - Childs
* [[w:T.K. Carter|T.K. Carter]] - Nauls
* [[w:Thomas Waites|Thomas Waites]] - Windows
* [[w:David Clennon|David Clennon]] - Palmer
* [[w:Richard Dysart|Richard Dysart]] - Dr. Copper
* [[w:Charles Hallahan|Charles Hallahan]] - Norris
* [[w:Peter Maloney|Peter Maloney]] - Bennings
* [[w:Richard Masur|Richard Masur]] - Clark
* [[w:Donald Moffat|Donald Moffat]] - Garry
* [[w:Joel Polis|Joel Polis]] - Fuchs

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|The Thing (film)|The Thing}}
* {{imdb title|id=0084787|title=The Thing}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=1021244-thing|title=The Thing}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Thing, The (1982 film)}}
[[Category:1982 films]]
[[Category:Films based on novels]]
[[Category:Films set in Antarctica]]
[[Category:Science fiction horror films]]
[[Category:Remake films]]
[[Category:Extraterrestrial life films]]
[[Category:Films directed by John Carpenter]]


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  <page>
    <title>Artie Shaw</title>
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        <username>Illegitimate Barrister</username>
        <id>549904</id>
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      <model>wikitext</model>
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      <text bytes="1996" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Artie Shaw in Second Chorus 2.jpg|thumb|Artie Shaw]]

'''[[w:Artie Shaw|Artie Shaw]]''' (born '''Arthur Jacob Arshawsky''' May 23, 1910, [[w:New York City|New York, New York]] – December 30, 2004, [[w:Thousand Oaks, California|Thousand Oaks, California]]) is considered to be one of the best jazz musicians of his time. He was a jazz clarinetist, composer and band leader, and was also an author of both fiction and non-fiction writings.

{{Musician-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* It became such a hit that it superseded anything that any band had ever had. It was the first time that a so-called [[w:swing|swing]] band played something melodic and still gave it a beat.
** On &quot;[[w:Begin the Beguine|Begin the Beguine]]&quot;, as quoted in {{cite web
| url = http://www.npr.org/programs/morning/features/2002/mar/shaw/
| title = Artie Shaw, the Reluctant 'King of Swing'
| date = 2002-03-08
| accessdate = 2007-12-20
|archiveurl=http://web.archive.org/web/20020804051447/http://www.npr.org/programs/morning/features/2002/mar/shaw/|archivedate=2002-08-04}}

* You run into a party and [a] woman comes up to you. She's the most beautiful creature you ever saw &amp;mdash; [[w:Ava Gardner|Ava Gardner]] &amp;mdash; and says, &quot;I like you and why don't we get together?&quot; What are you going to say, &quot;No&quot;? You'd have to be an idiot. She was an incredible creature.
** As quoted in {{cite web
| url = http://www.npr.org/programs/morning/features/2002/mar/shaw/
| title = Artie Shaw, the Reluctant 'King of Swing'
| date = 2002-03-08
| accessdate = 2007-12-20
|archiveurl=http://web.archive.org/web/20020804051447/http://www.npr.org/programs/morning/features/2002/mar/shaw/|archivedate=2002-08-04}}

== External links ==
{{commons category}}
*{{wikipedia-inline}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Shaw, Artie}}
[[Category:Musicians from the United States]]
[[Category:Composers from the United States]]
[[Category:Jazz]]
[[Category:American Jews]]
[[Category:1910 births]]
[[Category:2004 deaths]]
[[Category:People from New York City]]</text>
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      <text bytes="1947" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Artie Shaw in Second Chorus 2.jpg|thumb|Artie Shaw]]

'''[[w:Artie Shaw|Artie Shaw]]''' (born '''Arthur Jacob Arshawsky''' May 23, 1910 – December 30, 2004) was an American jazz musician, considered to be one of the best jazz musicians of his time. He was a jazz clarinetist, composer and band leader, and was also an author of both fiction and non-fiction writings.

{{Musician-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* It became such a hit that it superseded anything that any band had ever had. It was the first time that a so-called [[w:swing|swing]] band played something melodic and still gave it a beat.
** On &quot;[[w:Begin the Beguine|Begin the Beguine]]&quot;, as quoted in {{cite web
| url = http://www.npr.org/programs/morning/features/2002/mar/shaw/
| title = Artie Shaw, the Reluctant 'King of Swing'
| date = 2002-03-08
| accessdate = 2007-12-20
|archiveurl=http://web.archive.org/web/20020804051447/http://www.npr.org/programs/morning/features/2002/mar/shaw/|archivedate=2002-08-04}}

* You run into a party and [a] woman comes up to you. She's the most beautiful creature you ever saw &amp;mdash; [[w:Ava Gardner|Ava Gardner]] &amp;mdash; and says, &quot;I like you and why don't we get together?&quot; What are you going to say, &quot;No&quot;? You'd have to be an idiot. She was an incredible creature.
** As quoted in {{cite web
| url = http://www.npr.org/programs/morning/features/2002/mar/shaw/
| title = Artie Shaw, the Reluctant 'King of Swing'
| date = 2002-03-08
| accessdate = 2007-12-20
|archiveurl=http://web.archive.org/web/20020804051447/http://www.npr.org/programs/morning/features/2002/mar/shaw/|archivedate=2002-08-04}}

== External links ==
{{commons category}}
*{{wikipedia-inline}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Shaw, Artie}}
[[Category:1910 births]]
[[Category:2004 deaths]]
[[Category:Musicians from the United States]]
[[Category:Composers from the United States]]
[[Category:Jazz]]
[[Category:American Jews]]
[[Category:People from New York City]]
[[Category:Soldiers]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Last words in Star Trek media</title>
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      <comment>/* Star Trek: Generations (1994) */</comment>
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      <text bytes="27425" xml:space="preserve">The numerous deaths across all different media in the '''''[[Star Trek]]''''' universe have yielded many '''last words'''.

==Films==
=== ''[[Star Trek: The Motion Picture]]'' (1979) ===
*'''Jim, I want this. As much as you wanted the ''Enterprise'', I want this.'''
** Who: Captain Willard Decker
** Notes: Decker merged with Ilia-probe.

*'''Report to you, sir?'''
** Who: Commander Sonak
** Notes: Sonak said it to Kirk moments before he was killed by a transporter malfunction while beaming to the Enterprise.

*'''Deflectors, emergency full! We are under attack!'''
** Who: Commander Branch

*'''One minute, thirty seconds to Cloud boundary.'''
** Who: Lieutenant Ilia

*(in Klingon) '''Fire!'''
** Who: Klingon Commander of the IKC Amar

=== ''[[Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan]]'' (1982) ===
*'''Aye'''
**Who: Peter Preston
Notes; said in response to asking Admiral Kirk if he could die before expiring due to burns he sustained while assisting other engineers, who were evacuating an area that was being sealed by a radiation shield.

*'''NOOOO!'''
**Who: Jedda
Notes; said when Captain Terrell, who is under mind control from Khan, vaporizes her with his phaser at full power. The shot was aimed at David Markus but he was tackled to the ground so it hit her instead.

*'''Sir, it is difficult... I... I tried to obey but...''' [Khan: Kill him!] '''I--'''
** Who: Captain Clark Terrell
** Notes: After saying this, he screams in pain from the Ceti Eel that was in his head. He ends up committing suicide by shooting himself with his phaser which vaporizes him.

*'''Yours is... superior...'''
**Who: Joachim
Notes; Khan's helmsmen on the USS Reliant who had been constantly questioning Khan since he didn't understand his vendetta for revenge. Said to Khan who is cradling him shortly before he dies from injuries sustained when the Reliant's bridge took a direct hit from the Enterprise's cannons. It can be presumed he was trying to see &quot;your superior intellect&quot; which Khan had boasted about through the film although this would be mocking Khan.

*'''No... No you can't get away. From Hell's heart, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.'''
** Who: [[w:Khan Noonien Singh|Khan Noonien Singh]]
** Notes: Admiral Kirk's archenemy who was trapped on Ceti Alpha 5 fifteen years ago. This was said as he dies from injuries sustained when a Photon Torpedo hit the Reliant's bridge for a second time but not before he activates the Genesis Device. The quote, as with many of Khan's lines in the film, was a reference to the Melville novel ''[[w:Moby-Dick|Moby-Dick]]''. It also was among the last utterances of Captain Ahab in that novel.

*'''I have been... and always shall be... your friend. Live long... and prosper.'''
**Who: [[w:Spock|Spock]], before dying of radiation poisoning from the Warp Cells which allowed the Enterprise to escape the Genesis Wave.
**Notes: Spock was later resurrected due to the after effects of the Genesis Device.

=== ''[[Star Trek III: The Search for Spock]]'' (1984) ===
* '''What the hell's going on? When do I get paid off?'''
** Who: Merchantman Captain
** The Merchantman vessel was then destroyed by a Klingon bird of prey.

* (in Klingon) '''Success, Commander. And my love.'''
** Who: Valkris
** Valkris was aboard the Merchantman vessel; she transmitted data regarding the Genesis Project to Commander Kruge, and informed him that she had seen it, knowing that this would result in Kruge destroying the Merchantman vessel.

*'''We are under attack! Stand by for evasive!'''
** Who: Captain Estaban
** Says this before his ship is destroyed Kruge's Klingon bird of prey ship

* (In Klingon) &quot;A fair shot, sir.&quot; 
** Klingon bird-of-prey gunner
** After destroying Estaban's ship, the Klingon gunner says this before being killed by Kruge, because Kruge wanted prisoners.

*'''Yes sir. But the bridge seems to be run by computer. It is the only thing that is speaking.'''
** Who: Torg
** Torg and a Klingon boarding party intercepted the Enterprise, unaware that the ship was set to self-destruct. Kruge hears the computer voice counting down, but is too late to tell them to evacuate, and they are then killed in the resulting explosion.

*'''Give me Genesis!'''
** Who: Commander Kruge
** Kruge and Kirk are engaged in hand-to-hand combat on the Genesis Planet, as it slowly disintegrates around them; Kirk then pushes Kruge off a cliff into a river of lava after saying to him, &quot;I... have had... enough of... you!&quot;.

=== ''[[Star Trek V: The Final Frontier]]'' (1989) ===
* '''I couldn't help but notice your pain.''' [God of Sha-Ka-Ree: My pain?] '''It runs deep, share it with me.'''
** Who: Sybok
** Notes: Character's last words before being killed by a torpedo fired from the ''Enterprise''-A.

* '''YOU!'''
** Who: God of Sha-Ka-Ree
** Notes: Character's last words before apparently being destroyed by a disruptor blast from the Klingon Bird-of-Prey.

=== ''[[Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country]]'' (1991) ===
* '''Don't let it end this way, Captain.'''
** Who: Chancellor Gorkon
** Notes: Character's last words, having been mortally wounded by two Starfleet officers in an earlier scene.

* '''Kill him, he's the one!''' (Kirk: Not me, you idiot. Him!!) '''NOOOOOOO!!!'''
** Who: Martia, disguised as Kirk.
** Notes: Character's last words before she is vaporized by the Rura Penthe commandant.

* '''To be... or, not to be...'''
** Who: General Chang
** Notes: Character's last words before his ship is destroyed by a barrage of fire from the ''Enterprise''-A and ''Excelsior''. Chang has been quoting Shakespeare at different points throughout the film.

* '''Then, quite frankly, Mr. President, we can clean their chronometers.'''
** Who: Colonel West
** Notes: Last lines spoken by the character in his introductory scene. West, disguised as a Klingon, is later shot dead by Scotty in the film's climax.

=== ''[[Star Trek: Generations]]'' (1994) ===
* '''Sir, their hull is collapsing!''' [Kirk: Beam them out of there, Scotty.]
** Who: Enterprise-B conn officer
** Notes: Character's last words being being killed when his console explodes.

* '''Target their bridge! Full disruptor!''' [Helmsman: We are cloaking!] '''What?!''' [Helmsman: Our shields are down!]
** Who: Lursa
** Notes: Character's last words before the ''Enterprise''-D exploits a weakness in the Duras Sisters' Bird-of-Prey to disable its shields and destroy it with all hands.

* '''Picard! Get away from that launcher! Now!'''
** Who: Dr. Tolian Soran
** Notes: Character's last words, shouted at Captain Picard. Soran is killed when the launcher explodes as a result of Picard's sabotage.

* '''Least I could do... for the captain of the ''Enterprise''. It was... fun. Oh, my.'''
** Who: [[w:James T. Kirk|Captain Kirk]]
** Notes: Character's last words before dying from injuries sustained when the bridge he was on collapsed.

=== ''[[Star Trek: First Contact]]'' (1996) ===
* '''Hello? Hey!''' [Eiger: Are you talking to me?] '''Is there any one else working maintenance in this section?''' [Eiger: Not that I know of.] '''AAAAHHHHH!!!'''
** Who: Paul Porter
** Notes: Character's last words before being attacked and assimilated by the Borg. He, along with the rest of the assimilated ''Enterprise''-E crewmembers, dies when the Borg Queen is destroyed.

* '''Paul? Paul? Are you okay in there? AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!'''
** Who: Eiger
** Notes: Character's last words before being attacked and assimilated by the Borg. She, along with the rest of the assimilated ''Enterprise''-E crewmembers, dies when the Borg Queen is destroyed.

* '''Captain! Help... please, help...'''
** Who: Ensign who is assimilated by the Borg
**Notes: Captain Picard euthanizes him with a phaser on lethal setting.

* '''Well if we set our phasers to full power, we...''' [Picard: No. There's a risk that we hit the dish. It's charged with anti-protons. We could destroy half the ship. We have to find another way.]
** Who: Lieutenant Hawk
** Notes: Character's last words before he, Picard, and Worf detach the deflector dish from the ship. Hawk is assimilated during the operation, and then shot dead by Worf.

* '''Watch your future's end.''' [after realizing the torpedoes miss Cochrane's ship.]] '''DATA!''' [Data: Resistance is futile.]
** Who: The Borg Queen
**Notes: The Borg Queen, thinking she has won, until Data has made the torpedoes miss. She subsequently dies when she falls into a plasma coolant leak, melting her flesh away, after which Picard smashes her mechanical components.

=== ''[[Star Trek: Insurrection]]'' (1998) ===
* '''If you launch the injector while the planet is still populated, the Federation will pursue you until...'''
** Who: Vice Admiral Matthew Dougherty
**Notes: Character is trying to talk Ru'afo down from launching the injector while Ba'ku is still inhabited, but Ru'afo refuses to listen and executes him by stretching his face fatally.

* '''NOOOOOOOOOO!'''
** Who: Adhar Ru'afo
**Notes; Adhar Ru'afo immediately before Captain Picard ignites the exhaust fumes surrounding them, knocking Ru'afo back. He subsequently dies when Picard activates the collector's self-destruct mechanism.

=== ''[[Star Trek Nemesis]]'' (2002) ===
*'''Would someone alert security? Bring back Senator Tal'Aura.'''
** Who: Praetor Hiren
** Notes: Character's last words before he and the rest of the Romulan senate die from exposure to thalaron radiation.

*'''She's here. NO!'''
** Who: Reman Viceroy
** Notes: Said when he realizes that Deanna Troi is tracking the ''Scimitar'' via a mental link. The Viceroy dies in a later scene when William Riker throws him down a turbolift shaft.

*'''I'm glad we're together now. Our destiny's complete.'''
** Who: [[w:Shinzon|Shinzon]]
** Notes: Character's last words after being impaled with a piece of debris by Captain Picard.

*'''Goodbye.'''
** Who: [[w:Data (Star Trek)|Data]]
** Notes: Character's last words before he shoots the thalaron generator aboard the ''Scimitar'', destroying the ship and everyone on-board it, including Data.

=== ''[[Star Trek (2009 film)|Star Trek]]'' (2009) ===
*'''Lieutenant! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!'''
**Who: U.S.S. ''Kelvin'' Crewmember
**Note: Character's last words before she is sucked out into space through a hull breach.

*'''Where are you from?'''
**Who: Captain Richard Robau
**Note: Nero has ordered Robau to board Nero's ship, and asks Robau the whereabouts of Ambassador Spock. When Ayel asks the star date, Robau asks this, and is then impaled by Nero.

*'''I love you.'''
**Who: George Kirk
**Note: Said to his wife before the ''Kelvin'' crashes into the Narada.

*'''1000 meters!'''
**Who: Chief Engineer Olson
**Note: Olson, along with Kirk and Sulu, was making a space jump to the Narada's Drill. Olson doesn't pull his chute until the last moment; as a result, he crashes onto the platform, before falling over and getting disintegrated by the drill.

*'''Spock?'''
**Who: Amanda Grayson
**Note: Last words before being killed when the planet Vulcan is ripped apart and sucked into a black hole created within its core.

*'''You can't even speak...''' [Kirk grunts] '''What?'''
**Who: Ayel
**Note: Ayel is strangling Kirk and mocking the fact that Kirk can't even speak, when Kirk says something. When Ayel asks what he said, Kirk replies &quot;I got your gun&quot; before shooting Ayel through the chest and killing him instantly.

*'''I would rather suffer the end of Romulus a thousand times. I would rather die in agony, than accept assistance from you.'''
**Who: Nero
**Note: Nero's ship was being destroyed by a black hole, and Kirk offered him a chance to evacuate. Nero adamantly refused, and Kirk ordered the Enterprise to open fire, accelerating the destruction of Nero's ship and killing him. Nero was from the future, where the Starfleet Enterprise had offered assistance in saving his planet from destruction via a black hole, but they failed, which is what drove him to come back in time motivated by revenge, and why he decided he would rather die than accept assistance from them.

=== ''[[Star Trek Into Darkness]]'' (2013) ===
*'''We need an Air Defense Team! Daystrom Conference Room!'''
**Who: Admiral Christopher Pike
**Note: About a minute after saying this, he is shot and killed by John Harrison/Khan, who was using a gunship.

*(in the Klingon Language) '''Why should I care about a Human killing Humans?'''
**Who: Klingon leader
**Note: Last words before he and the rest of his squad are killed by John Harrison/Khan with a gatling phaser.

*'''For what?'''
**Who: Starfleet Private Security guard
**Note: Said in response to Scotty apologizing to him before the character is ejected off the ''Vengeance''.

*'''War is coming, and who's gonna lead us? You?! If I'm not in charge, our entire way of life is decimated! So, you want me off this ship? You better kill me.'''
**Who: Admiral Alexander Marcus 
**Note: As he tries to escape, Marcus's skull is crushed by Khan, who tells him before doing so, &quot;You should have let me sleep!&quot;.

*'''I want to tell you why I couldn't let you die. Why I went back for you.'''
**Who: Captain James T. Kirk
**Note: Dies from radiation poisoning while fixing the Enterprise. Kirk is revived by Khan's blood later in the movie.

=== ''[[Star Trek Beyond]]'' (2016) ===
*''(Kirk: What did Krall want with this thing?)'' '''To save you from yourselves.'''
**Who: Jessica &quot;Kalara&quot; Wolff (through a translator device)
**Note: Character says this line through a translator device after Kirk tricks her into trying to retrieve his relic, the Abornath, revealing her to be Krall's ally. In the resulting battle, Kalara is crushed by the remains of the Enterprise.

*'''Uhura!'''
**Who: Ensign Syl
**Note: Character had just handed over the real Abornath to Krall, who rebuilds an ancient bioweapon from it. He uses it to execute Syl.

*(in alien language) '''They will leave you here.'''
**Who: Anderson &quot;Manas&quot; Le
**Note: Character says this line while fighting Jaylah, but Kirk scapes with her; they abandon him on Altamid afterwards.

*'''NO!!'''
**Who: Balthazar &quot;Krall&quot; Edison
**Note: As he battles with Kirk in the ventilation system of one of Starfleet's starbases, to release the bioweapon, Kirk kicks Edison into the black energy released by the weapon. During this, the system's airlock is opened, throwing the two into space. Kirk is saved by Spock and McCoy, but Edison is released into space, disintegrating as a result of infection from the weapon.

==Television series==
=== ''[[Star Trek: The Original Series]]'' (1966-1969) ===
* '''I want to stay...'''
** Who: Charlie Evans

* '''No! No! No, I'm not ready! I'm not ready!'''
** Who: Lazarus

* '''For a moment, James, but your moment is fading.'''
** Who: Lt. Commander Gary Mitchell

* '''I'm sorry. You can't know what it's like to be almost a god.'''
** Who: Dr. Elizabeth Dehner

* '''I want to live! I want to live!'''
** Who: Evil Captain James T. Kirk

* '''NO, CHILD! DON'T!'''
**Who: Kodos the Executioner/Anton Karidian
**Notes: Said this as he tries to stop his maddened daughter from killing Kirk, but is shot dead by her phaser.

*'''No. You cannot love. You're not human.'''
**Who: Dr. Roger Korby
*'''Love you. Kiss.'''
**Who: Andrea
**Notes: An exact android duplicate of the long dead Korby, he is confronted by the woman android Andrea who offers to kiss him. Korby disintegrates themselves with a phaser.

*'''We are creatures of duty, Captain. I have lived my life by it. Just one more duty to perform.'''
**Who: Romulan Commander.
**Source: Balance of Terror
**Notes: With the Romulan ship crippled by Spock, the Romulan commander refuses to be taken alive. He accepts his fate and activates the self-destruct, killing himself and the entire Romulan ship.

*'''Help me! Help me! Help me! Help me!'''
**Who: Landru
**Notes: Being a computer named after his 6,000 years dead creator, Kirk convinces the computer is evil and makes Landru destroy himself.

*'''Yes. He's in the Mission. He's-'''
**Who: Edith Keeler
**Notes: A caretaker in the 1930s during the Great Depression, Kirk and Spock learn that if Edith Keeler survives her street accident, her peace movement in the late 1930s would allow Nazi Germany to take over the world with nukes. Regretfully, Kirk stops McCoy from helping her and she is run over by a truck.

*'''A commander is responsible for the lives of his crew... and for their deaths. Well...I should have died with mine.'''
** Who: Commodore Matt Decker
**Note: The last thing he says, ignoring the pleas of others, as he pilots a hijacked shuttlecraft into the maw of the planet killer in a kamikaze attack. 

*'''Korob was wrong. I didn't destroy all your weapons. Give me the transmuter. Give it to me!'''
**Who: Sylvia
**Notes: An Ornithoid using a human appearance, Sylvia attempts to entice Kirk for the transmuter, even attempting to use a stolen phaser. But Kirk destroys the transmuter, dispelling the illusions and Sylvia dies in her natural form.

*'''The next man who raises a weapon destroys all of you. You and your primitive knives and your weapons, I'll teach you what killing really means.'''
**Who: Kras
**Notes: A Klingon trying to get an alliance with the Capellans, Kras attempts to teach the Capellans a reminder in killing, then executes Maab before being killed by Keel.

*'''As teer of the Ten Tribes, I give you back your life. Mine is now forfeit. Keel, stand ready.''' ''(moves to confront Kras)''  '''KLINGON!'''
**Who: Maab
**Notes: After allowing Eleen to live, Maab sacrifices himself and is vaporized.

*'''This weapon I bring you is far greater than your firesticks.'''
**Who: Nona
**Notes: Tyree's wife who sought to betray him to the Neural villagers. Presenting the villagers with a phaser, she is instead greeted with violence. The villagers then think Nona tricked them, and stab her to death.

*'''I suggest we leave and let our Fuhrer rest.'''
**Who: Melakon
**Notes: After saying this, he is exposed as the traitor to all of Ekos for attempting genocide against the Zeon people. He then shoots John Gill with a machine gun, then is shot dead by a disguised Isak.

*'''Even historians fail to learn from history. They repeat the same mistakes. Let the killing end. Let...'''
**Who: John Gill
**Notes: Having saved the people of Zeon from mass murder, John Gill dies of his machine gun injuries after talking with Kirk.

*'''Murderers! If you want death, fight me!'''
**Who: Flavius Maximus
**Notes: A former Gladiator on 892-IV, Flavius tries to save Kirk from his execution, only to be gunned down along with the Master of the Games.

*'''Starship, lock in on this. Three to beam...'''
**Who: Captain R.M. Merik/Merikus
**Notes: A Starship Captain who is named First Citizen of 892-IV, Merik uses Kirk's communicator to call for Scotty to beam up Kirk, Spock and McCoy even as Claudius Marcus has sent his guards at the landing party. Claudius stabs Merik for betrayal, but Merik survives long enough to pass the communicator to Kirk before dying.

*'''Death! Death to you all! Death to you all! Death to you all! Death to you all!'''
**Who: Gorgan
**Notes: An evil entity as the false &quot;friendly angel&quot; trying to take over the universe using the children of the Starnes Expedition, he is betrayed by the children as he curses this, and is dissolved.

*'''I am not sure. But things are not as they teach us. For the world is hollow, and I have touched the sky.'''
**Who: An old Fabrini man.
**Notes: This old Fabrini man climbed the mountains of the spaceship world Yonada and said he touched the sky, but the Oracle finds out and fries his brain.

*'''No, you mustn't stop me. He's my lover and I have to kill him.'''
**Who: Marta
**Notes: An Orion in Garth's gang of insane criminals seeking to escape the Elba II colony, Marta attempts to get Kirk's countersign for &quot;Queen to Queen's level 3&quot;, then tries to kill him. Later after saying this, she is implanted with an explosive crystal, taken out into Elba II's toxic atmosphere, and pleads something inaudible. Garth ends her misery by blowing her up.

* '''These things cannot be real. Hallucinations can't harm us. Go back to where you were.'''
** Who: Dr. Leonard McCoy
** Note: He is stabbed by the Black Knight later be revived.

* '''Mister Earp. Get your hands off her.'''
** Who: Ensign Pavel Chekov
** Note: He is shot by a western man but he is later revived.

=== ''[[Star Trek: The Next Generation]]'' (1987-1994) ===
*'''All hands abandon ship! Repeat, all hands abandon-'''
**Who: Captain Jean-Luc Picard
**Note: Orders this as the Enterprise, after colliding with the Bozeman, begins to catch fire. The Vessel explodes as he issues the Order. (&quot;Cause and Effect&quot;)

* '''We have to get out of here now.'''
** Who: Counselor Deanna Troi
** Note: She said it to Captain Picard before the Bozeman collided with the Enterprise's starboard nacelle, destroying the ship, killing everyone on board. (&quot;Cause and Effect&quot;)
* '''Don't try and stop me! No, no, let go!'''
** Who: Counselor Deanna Troi
** Note: She yelled it while she is aging and eventually Dr. Crusher kills her in order to get Ambassador Alkar to bound with another woman. She is later revived after the effects of Alkar's empathic connection had reversed. (&quot;Man of the People&quot;)

* '''We seek peaceful co-existence.'''
** Who: Commander Dexter Remmick (&quot;Conspiracy&quot;)

* '''The opening seems closer, Captain.'''
** Who: Haskell (&quot;Where Silence Has Lease&quot;)

* '''Load torpedo bays.'''
** Who: Captain Rachel Garrett (&quot;Yesterday's ''Enterprise''&quot;)

* '''Enough! We have people who need attention. We won't hurt you, but we must help them.'''
** Who: Lt. Natasha Yar (&quot;Skin of Evil&quot;)
** Note: Said by Yar moments before Armus blasts her backwards when she tries to get over to the shuttle-craft. This effectively kills her and Dr. Crusher is unable to revive her.

* '''An end. An end to pain.'''
** Who: Ves Alkar (&quot;Man of the People&quot;)

* '''I ... love you ... brother.'''
** Who: Lore (&quot;Descent, Part II&quot;)

* '''Beverly... I love you. Bever...'''
** Who: Ronin (&quot;Sub Rosa&quot;)

* '''Tell him, Picard.''' [Picard: Peace and long life.] '''Live long and and. Live long and. Spock. My son.''' [Picard: And prosper]
** Who: Sarek (&quot;Unification, Part 1&quot;)
** Note: His final on-screen words we hear during his talk with Picard as he is suffering badly from Bendii Syndrome. Much later, Picard on a Klingon war-bird is notified that Sarek has died.

=== ''[[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine]]'' (1993-1999) ===
*'''Maintain all... ARGH!'''
** Who: Vulcan Captain of the USS Saratoga

*'''Bridge to Engineering: get that port nacelle back online! Keogh to runabouts: we've got what we came for. We better fall back before we...'''
**Who: Captain Keogh of the USS ''Odyssey''
**Note: Last transmission from the captain of the ''Odyssey'' before the ship's communications array was knocked out. Moments later, the ''Odyssey'' was destroyed in a ramming attack by a Jem'Hadar fighter.

*'''You're too late. We're everywhere.'''
**Who: Changeling aboard the ''Defiant''
**Note: Whispered these words to Odo while dying, taunting him about the Founders' infiltration of the Alpha Quadrant.

*'''For you, and for the boy that I was. He needs you, more than you know. Don't you see? We're going to get a second... chance.'''
**Who: [[w:Jake Sisko|Jake Sisko]]
**Note: In an alternate future, an elderly Jake committed suicide over his time-displaced father's objections, knowing this would send Captain Sisko back and prevent his death in the first place.

*'''Rebecca...'''
**Who: [[w:Michael Eddington|Michael Eddington]]
**Note: Eddington called out his wife's name before he died.

* '''Our baby would've been so beautiful...'''
** Who: [[w:Jadzia Dax|Jadzia Dax]]

* '''Keep...'''
** Who: [[w:Damar (Star Trek)|Damar]]
**Note: Killed while attempting to storm Dominion headquarters.

* '''Farewell, Adami.'''
** Who: [[w:Dukat (Star Trek)|Gul Dukat]]
**Note: Thrown off into the fire caves by [[w:Benjamin Sisko|Sisko]] after using the powers of the Pah-Wraiths to burn [[w:Winn Adami|Winn Adami]] within the fire caves.

=== ''[[Star Trek: Voyager]]'' (1995-2001) ===
*'''The self-destruct program has been damaged. Now, this installation will not be destroyed. But it must be. The Kazon must not be allowed to gain control of it. They will annihilate the Ocampa.'''
**Who: The Caretaker

*'''My minute isn't up!'''
*'''Chakotay, I'm giving it one last try. Yes!'''
**Who: Ensign Harry Kim
**Note: Said in response to B'Elanna Torres's warning as she implored with him to leave the dangerous area. However, Kim refused to do so, instead trying to seal off a hull breach, and was blown into space. He was replaced by a Harry Kim from an alternate Voyager which had come into being via an interstellar phenomenon.
**Note: Second quote is from a future Harry who alters the past to save Voyager, and therefore erases himself from time. The delta flier is still shown exploding, presumably killing him before time is altered.

*'''Hello. I am Captain Kathryn Janeway. Welcome to the bridge..'''
**Who: Captain Kathryn Janeway
**Note: This was a Janeway created on a duplicate Voyager due to interstellar phenomenon. She destroyed her ship to save the other Voyager from the Vidiians, who intended to harvest their organs.

*'''You will adapt.'''
**Who: One/1
**Note: It is unknown whether his name is spelled One, or simply 1.
**Note: This was said in response to Seven of Nine saying &quot;You're hurting me.&quot; Because he was letting himself die to save Voyager from being pursued by the Borg trying to recapture him.
*'''Time's up.'''
**Who: Kathryn Janeway
**Note: Said in the Krenim-dominant timeline as she crashed the crippled USS ''Voyager'' into the Krenim temporal weapon ship, causing it to erase itself from time and undo all of the timeline alterations it had created.

*'''They'll survive. Captain Janeway and I made sure of that. It's you who underestimated us. '''
**Who: [[w:Kathryn Janeway|Kathryn Janeway]]
**Note: Admiral Janeway of the 25th Century was killed by the Borg Queen after ensuring the success of the Captain Janeway in the 24th Century.

*'''...and nothing that you've done here today will happen. '''
**Who: [[w:Borg Queen|Borg Queen]]
**Note: The Queen died after being infected by a pathogen by the Admiral.
**Note: She had sent a Borg Sphere after Voyager to attempt to disrupt the current timeline, and prevent the future from happening. 
[[Category:Fictional last words|Star Trek]]

=== ''[[Star Trek: Enterprise]]'' (2001-2005) ===
*'''Hard to port!'''
** Who: [[w:Charles Tucker|Charles Tucker]]
** Note: Said just before the Xindi ship destroyed the NX-01 bridge in the alternate timeline where the Xindi destroyed the Earth.

=== ''[[Star Trek: Discovery]]'' (2017-) ===
*'''Well that's just it. As far as I'm concerned... you're not you.'''
** Who: Hugh Culber
** Note: Said after grounding Lt. Ash Tyler after making a troubling discovery that the Klingons may have grafted another personality onto him. Lt. Tyler immediately breaks his neck. 

=== ''[[Star Trek: Picard]]'' (2020-) ===
*'''There's no time.  Stay Down.'''
** Who: Dahj Asha
** Note: Said as Romulan assassins transport onto a rooftop to assassinate her. 

*'''N-Now, Seven.'''
** Who: Icheb
** Note: After painfully having his Borg implants removed, Icheb begs for Seven of Nine to end his misery.

=== ''[[Star Trek: Lower Decks]]'' (2020-) ===


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  <page>
    <title>Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull</title>
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'''''[[w:Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull|Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull]]''''' is a [[w:2008 in film|2008]] adventure film in which famed archaeologist/adventurer Dr. Henry &quot;Indiana&quot; Jones is called back into action when he becomes entangled in a Soviet plot to uncover the secret behind mysterious artifacts known as the Crystal Skulls.
:''Directed by [[Steven Spielberg]]. Written by [[w:David Koepp|David Koepp]], based on a story written by [[w:Jeff Nathanson|Jeff Nathanson]] and [[George Lucas]].''

==Henry &quot;Indiana&quot; Jones, Jr.==
* ''[first lines]'' Russians.
* ''[After he slams into a pursuing truck while pursuing Irina Spalko.]'' Damn, I thought that was closer!
* ''[After Irina asks him if he had any last words]'' I like Ike.
* ''[after hearing siren]'' Oh, that can't be good. ''['''P.A.:''' All personel, it is now one minute to zero time. Put on goggles or turn away. Do not remove goggles or face burst until 10 seconds after first light.]'' Oh, that can't be good at all.
* ''[to the Russians searching for him as they leave him at a nuclear test site]'' Sure, great! Don't wait for me!
* I think you just brought a knife to a gunfight.
* If you want to be a good archaeologist, you gotta get out of the library!
* Come on, genius.
* [''to a crazy Harold Oxley who is speaking apparent gibberish'']  We went to the University of Chicago together, and you were never this interesting. My name is Ind... ''[quietly]'' My name is Henry Jones Jr.
* This is intolerable. ''(reference from his father)''
* I have a bad feeling about this. ''(reference from ''[[Star Wars]]'')''
* Leave it to Ox to write a riddle in a dead language.

==Henry &quot;Mutt&quot; Williams-Jones III==
* [''on his motorcycle, to Indiana''] Get on, Gramps.
* [''to Indiana''] For an old man, you're not bad in a fight. What're you like - 80?
* Hold up! ''[combs his hair]'' Okay, I'm ready. Don't give these pigs anything.
* Ox, it's Mutt. It's me.
* Don't call me ''son''! ''[reference to Indy telling his own father not to call him &quot;Junior&quot;]''
* ''[To Indy]'' What are you looking at, Daddy-o! She's getting away!
* [''combs his hair while telling Indy and Marion''] I can't concentrate with you two fighting all the time!

==Irina Spalko==
* And where is it you would imagine I am from, Dr. Jones?
* ''[To Mutt while they are dueling]'' You fight like a young man; eager to begin, quick to finish!
* And what I do not know, I find out.
* So we will do this- what is expression? Old-fashion way. You will tell us.
* ''[Right before trying to push his truck off a cliff]'' Dosvidanya, Dr. Jones.
* ''[Right before she gets consumed by the knowledge]'' I want to know.

==Others==
* '''Mac''': JONESY! ''[Indy punches him in the face]''
* '''Mac''': ''[The driver of the car he is in is playing Chicken with Indy]'' Don't get clever, Boris. You don't know him! You don't know him! You don't know him! You don't know!
* '''Marion Ravenwood-Williams''': Get your hands off of me, you rotten, Ruskii son of a bitch! Indiana Jones. About time you showed up! [''Then walks straight past him to hug Mutt'']
* '''Colonel Dovchenko''': [''last words, spoken in Russian''] HELP ME!!!
* '''Jocks''': Get that greaser!
* '''Harold Oxley''': ''[Repeated Line]'' Henry Jones, Junior!
* '''Harold Oxley''': How much of human life is lost in waiting.

==Dialogue==
:'''Mac''': This ain't going to be easy.
:'''Indy''': Not as easy as it used to be.
:'''Mac''': Well, we've been through worse.
:'''Indy''': Yeah, when?
:'''Mac''': Flensburg. There was twice as many.
:'''Indy''': We were younger.
:'''Mac''': I still ''am'' young!
:'''Indy''': We had guns. Put your hands down, will you; you're embarrassing us.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Colonel Dovchenko''': You recognize building, yes?
:''[Indy looks over to the Russians dragging away the dead American soldiers they killed]''
:'''Indy''': Drop dead. ''[Dovchenko punches him]'' I'm sorry, I meant drop dead, ''comrade''.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Indy''': You're not from around here, are you?
:'''Irina''': And where is it you would imagine I am from... Dr. Jones?
:'''Indy''': Well, the way you're sinking your teeth into those W-ouble-u's, I should think maybe...Eastern Ukraine.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Irina''': ''[lightly slaps Indy twice]'' You're a hard man to read, Dr. Jones.
:'''Indy''': Ouch.
:'''Irina''': So, we will do this, what is expression? Old-fashion way. You will tell us.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Irina''': This warehouse, where you and your government have hidden all of your secrets. Yes?
:'''Indy''': This is a military warehouse. I've never been here before in my life.
:'''Irina''': Object we seek; rectangular storage container, dimensions two meters by one half meter by sixty six centimeters. Contents of box: mummified remains. This is no doubt familiar to you.
:'''Indy''': What makes you think I've got any idea what box you're talking about?
:'''Irina''': Because ten years ago, ''you'' were part of the team that examined it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Indy''': Compass. I need a compass. You know, North, South, East -
:'''Mac''': West.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Irina''': No defiant last words, Dr. Jones?
:'''Indy''': ''[sarcastically]'' I like [[w:Dwight D. Eisenhower|Ike]].
:'''Colonel Dovchenko''': Put down gun.
:'''Indy''': You got it, pal.
:''[Indy drops the gun and it &quot;accidentally&quot; shoots a Russian soldier in the foot]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Indy''': What was in the steel box they took?
:'''FBI Agent''': You tell us. You've seen it before.
:'''Indy''': Oh, you mean that [[w:Roswell UFO incident|Air Force fiasco in '47]]? I was tossed into a bus with blacked-out windows and twenty people I wasn't allowed to speak to. Hauled out in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere on some urgent recovery project and shown what?! Pieces of wreckage and an intensely magnetic shroud covering mutilated remains. ''None'' of us was ever given the full picture and we were threatened with treason if we ever talked about it. So you tell me, ''what'' was in the box?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Indy''': How did Deidre take the news?
:'''Dean Stanforth''': How does any wife take such things? The look on her face was a combination of pride and panic.
:'''Indy''': I never should have doubted you, my friend.
:'''Dean Stanforth''': No, you have reason to question your friends these days. You know, I barely recognize this country anymore; the government has us seeing Communists in our soup.
:'''Indy''': Brutal couple of years, huh, Charlie? ''[Part of the &quot;Henry Jones theme&quot; from [[Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade|the previous film]] plays as Indy looks at pictures of Marcus Brody and Henry Jones Senior]'' First Dad, then Marcus.
:'''Dean Stanforth''': We seem to have reached the age where life stops giving us things and starts taking them away.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mutt''': The name's Mutt. Mutt Williams.
:'''Indy''': Mutt? What kind of name is that?
:'''Mutt''': It's the one I picked, you got a problem with that?
:'''Indy''': ''[calmly]'' Take it easy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mutt''': What is it [[w:Crystal skull|the crystal skull]]?
:'''Indy''': Deity carving. Mesoamerican. There are a number of crystal skulls in the world; I saw one in the British Museum. Interesting craftsmanship, but that's about it.
:'''Mutt''': Well, laugh if you want. Oxley said he found it this time. He said this was real and he was off to a place called Akator with it.
:'''Indy''': Akator? He said that? You're sure?
:'''Mutt''': That's what he said, he said Akator. What is it?
:'''Indy''': It's a mythical lost city in the Amazon. Conquistadors called it El Dorado. Supposedly, the Ugha tribe were chosen by the gods 7000 years ago to build a giant city out of solid gold. It had aqueducts and paved roads and technology that wouldn't be seen again for 5000 years. Francisco de Orellano disappeared into the Amazon looking for it in 1546. I almost died of typhus looking for it myself. I don't think it exists.
:'''Mutt''': Why would Ox want to take the skull there?
:'''Indy''': The legend says that a crystal skull was stolen from Akator in the 15th or 16th century, and that whoever returns the skull to the city temple will be given control over its power.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Indy''': Who is your mother, again?
:'''Mutt''': Mary, Mary Williams. You don't remember her?
:'''Indy''': There've been a lot of Marys, kid.
:'''Mutt''': ''[punches the table and storms from his seat]'' Shut up! That's my mother you're talking about, okay?! That's my mother.
:'''Indy''': [''ordering Mutt to sit down immediately''] You don't have to get all sore all the time just to prove how tough you are. Sit down. Sit down, please.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mutt''': [''When told he is going too fast while driving his motorcycle through the library''] That's a matter of opinion!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mutt''': [''finishes combing his hair''] What's that?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mutt''': [''shows Indy the ladder''] This way down. ''[falls down the ladder]''
:'''Indy''': [''walks down the stairs, helps Mutt back up''] This way up.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[after Indy has shot a native grave guard with his own poison dart and scared off a second]''
:'''Mutt''': ''[disbelievingly]'' You're a... ''teacher''?
:'''Indy''': ''[shrugs]'' Part-time.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mutt''': Dead end.
:'''Indy''': Maybe.
:'''Mutt''': ''[combs his hair]'' Hm--
:'''Indy''': What are you doing? Put that thing away! ''[Mutt hears him and stops combing his hair]'' Give me some light over here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Indy''': Dance on your own dime, will ya?
:'''Mutt''': Ow! A scorpion just stung me, am I gonna die?
:'''Indy''': How big?
:'''Mutt''': Huge!
:'''Indy''': Good.
:'''Mutt''': ''Good''?!
:'''Indy''': When it comes to scorpions, the bigger the better. A small one bites you, don't keep it to yourself.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[looking at the odd shaped human skulls]''
:'''Mutt''': Why'd they do that?
:'''Indy''': To honor the gods.
:'''Mutt''': No, no, God's head's not like that, man.
:'''Indy''': Depends on who your god is.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Indy''': Crystal isn't magnetic.
:'''Mutt''': Neither is gold.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Irina Spalko''': &quot;Now I am become Death, the Destroyer of Worlds&quot;. You recognize those words? It was your own [[w:J. Robert Oppenheimer|Dr. Oppenheimer]] after he created the atomic bomb.
:'''Indy''': He was quoting [[Bhagavad Gita|the Hindu bible]].
:'''Irina Spalko''': It was nuclear intimidation. But now this next level of weapon is ''ours'' to have, ''yours'' to fear.
:'''Indy''': Weapon? What weapon?
:'''Irina Spalko''': A ''mind'' weapon. A new frontier of psychic warfare; that was [[w:Josef Stalin|Stalin's]] dream.
:'''Indy''': ''[laughs]'' Now I know why Oxley put the skull back where he found it. He knew you were looking for it.
:'''Irina Spalko''': That skull is no mere deity carving, surely you knew that the moment you laid eyes on it. It was not made by human hands.
:'''Indy''':  Who made it then? ''[Spalko stares at him, until he realizes her train of thought]'' Come on!
:'''Irina Spalko''': The body we found in New Mexico was not the first; we had already dissected two others from similar crash sites in the Soviet Union.
:'''Indy''': ''[skeptical]'' Saucer men from Mars.
:'''Irina Spalko''': The legends of Akator are all true. Early man could not have conceived it, much less built it. It was a city of [[w:Ancient astronauts|supreme beings]], with technologies and paranormal abilities.
:'''Indy''': You've got to be kidding me.
:'''Irina Spalko''': Why do you choose not to believe your own eyes? ''[She reveals the body stolen from Area 51 and exposes a wound in the back of its head, baring the skull]'' The New Mexico specimen gave us hope; unlike the others we'd found, its skeleton was pure crystal. A distant cousin, perhaps. Maybe they too were sent to find Akator. Perhaps we're all searching for the same thing. ''[She covers the body]'' There is no other explanation.
:'''Indy''': There's ''always'' another explanation.
:'''Irina Spalko''': The skull was stolen from Akator in the 15th century. Whoever returns it-
:'''Indy''': -Returns it to the city temple will gain control over its powers. I've heard that bedtime story before.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Indy''': Be careful, you might get exactly what you wish for.
:'''Irina''': I usually do.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mac''': ''[Jones punches Mac in his nose after Mac unties Jones]'' OW! You broke my nose!
:'''Indy''': I told you!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Indy''': Yeah, but you're alright?
:'''Mutt''': They left my bike.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mutt''': ''[when Irina holds her sword at him]'' Whoa! Whoa, whoa! Wait, wait, wait! Stop, stop, stop! ''[holds comb out]'' Huh? ''[combs his hair, shoves comb back in the pocket]'' I'm ready. Don't give these pigs a thing.
:'''Indy''': You heard him.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Indy''': ''[to Mutt]'' Marion Ravenwood is your mother?!
:'''Marion''': Oh, for God's sake, Indy! It's not that hard.
:'''Indy''': Well, I know. I just thought -
:'''Marion''': That I would never have a life after you left.
:'''Indy''': No, I didn't mean--
:'''Marion''': I had a really good life.
:'''Indy''': Well, that's fine--
:'''Marion''': A damn good, really good life!
:'''Indy''': Well so have I!
:'''Marion''': Really? You still living in a trail of human wreckage or have you retired?
:'''Indy''': Why, you're looking for a date?
:'''Marion''': With anyone but you!
:'''Irina''': So Dr. Jones, you will help us? ''[Dovchenko cocks a pistol and points it at Marion's back]'' A simple 'Yes' will do.
:'''Indy''': Oh Marion, you had to go and get yourself kidnapped.
:'''Marion''': Not like you did any better.
:'''Indy''': [[Raiders of the Lost Ark|Same old, same old...]]

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Indy and Marion are trapped in drysand pit]'':
:'''Mutt''': What is it, quicksand?
:'''Marion''': I'm calm.
:'''Indy''': No, it's a [[w:dry quicksand|dry sand pit...]]
:'''Marion''': I'm sinking, but I'm calm.
:'''Indy''': ...Quicksand is a mix of sand, mud and water and depending on the viscosity it's not as dangerous as people sometimes think.
:'''Marion''': For Pete's sake, Jones, we're not in school!
:'''Indy''': Don't worry. There's nothing to worry about unless there's a... ''[there is a sudden void collapse]'' ...a void collapse.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Indy''': Oxley, go get help!
:'''Oxley''': Help?
:'''Indy''': Help!
:'''Oxley''': Help! ''[leaves]''
:'''Marion''': ''[to Jones]'' Mutt can be a little impetuous.
:'''Indy''': Believe me, it's not the worst quality in the world. Keep your arms above your head. When the kid comes back, be ready to grab something.
:'''Marion''': Indy, he's...
:'''Indy''': He's a good kid, Marion. You should get off his back about school. Not everybody is cut out for it.
:'''Marion''': Mutt, I mean, his name's Henry.
:'''Indy''': [''absent-mindedly''] Henry. Good name.
:'''Marion''': He's your son.
:'''Indy''': ''[shocked]'' My son?
:'''Marion''': Henry Jones III.
:''[Pause]''
:'''Indy''': Why the ''hell'' didn't you make him finish school?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mutt throws a long snake into the sand pit to save Jones]''
:'''Mutt''': Grab the snake!
:'''Indy''': Stop calling it that! Call it something else!
:'''Mutt''': It's a snake! What do you want me to call it?!
:'''Indy''': ''[afraid to touch the snake]'' A rope!
:'''Mutt''': What?
:'''Indy''': Say &quot;grab the rope!&quot;
:'''Mutt and Marion''': Grab the rope!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Indy''': ''[surrounded by Russian soldiers after getting pulled out of the sandpit by Mutt]'' Thanks, Ox...
:'''Oxley''': ''[points at the Russians]'' Help.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mutt''': Whatever happened to your advice of &quot;if school isn't for you just live your life and don't let anyone tell you otherwise&quot;?
:'''Indy''': That was before I found out I was your father!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Marion''': I'm sure I wasn't the only one to get with my life. There must have been plenty of women for you over the years.
:'''Indy''': There were a few, but they all had the same problem.
:'''Marion''': Yeah? What's that?
:'''Indy''': They weren't ''you'', honey.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Indy''': [''to Mutt and Marion as he climbs onto the roof of their newly captured truck''] Keep driving.
:'''Mutt''': Well, what's he gonna do now?
:'''Marion''': I don't think he plans that far ahead.
:'''Mutt''': Yeah...
:'''Indy''': ''[pops out from the inside of the truck with a bazooka]'' Scoot over will ya, Son?
:'''Mutt''': Don't call me 'Son'! Don't.
:'''Indy''': I think I'd cover my ears if I were you! ''[shoots a rocket at a giant tree cutter but it sends the large circular blade bouncing straight for them, cutting through other trucks as it goes]'' Duck!


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Indy''': Marion, take the wheel!
:'''Mutt''': That's not fair; she drove the truck!
:'''Indy''': Don't be a child - find something to fight with!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mac''': Jonesy! ''[Indy knocks off two Russians]'' Jonesy!
:'''Indy''': Hi, Mac! ''[punches him]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mutt''': ''[after swinging on tree vines and landing back in the truck]'': Whoa!
:'''Indy''': Whoa. ''[looks ahead to see a cliff]'' WHOA!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Indy notices the giant group of ants]''
:'''Indy''': ''[[wikipedia: Siafu|Siafu]]''.
:'''Mutt''': What?
:'''Indy''': Big damn ants! Go!


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Indy''': [''to Mac, after it is revealed that he is actually working for the Russians''] So, what are you, like a triple agent?
:'''Mac''': No, I just lied about being a double agent.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Spalko admires the crystal skeletons of Akator]''
:'''Irina Spalko''': Look at them! Still waiting for the return of the one who was lost. They are a hive mind; one being physically separate but with a collective consciousness. More powerful together than they can ever be apart. ''Imagine'' what they could tell us!
:'''Indy''': I can't imagine it. Neither could the humans who built this temple, and neither can you!
:'''Irina Spalko''': Belief, Dr. Jones, is a gift you have yet to receive. My sympathies. ''[She starts to climb the dais]''
:'''Indy''': Oh, I believe, sister. That's why I'm down here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mutt''': What are they, like spacemen?
:'''Oxley''': ''[now completely sane]'' Inter-dimensional beings, in point of fact.
:'''Indy''': Welcome back, Ox.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Indy''': Where did they go? Into space?
:'''Oxley''': Not into space. Into the space between spaces.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mutt''': I don't understand. Why the legend about the city of gold?
:'''Indy''': Well, the Ugha word for 'gold' translates as 'treasure.' But their treasure wasn't gold, it was knowledge. Knowledge was their treasure.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Indy''': Why don't you stick around, Junior?
:'''Mutt''': I don't know. Why didn't ''you'', &quot;Dad?&quot;
:'''Oxley''': ''[scoffs]'' Dad... ''[gives Indy a questioning look]'' Dad?
:'''Indy''': ''[chuckles, wraps his arm around Marion]'' Somewhere, your grandpa is laughing.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Oxley''': Well done, Henry.
:'''Indy and Mutt''': Thanks, Ox.

== About {{PAGENAME}} ==
* The fans are all upset. They’re always going to be upset. Why did he do it like this? And why didn’t he do it like this? They write their own movie, and then, if you don’t do their movie, they get upset about it.
** [[George Lucas]] [http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2008/02/indianajones200802 &quot;Keys to the Kingdom&quot;] by Jim Windolf, ''VanityFair'', February 2008.

==Cast==
* [[Harrison Ford]] - Henry &quot;Indiana&quot; Jones, Jr.
* [[Cate Blanchett]] - Irina Spalko
* [[wikipedia:Karen Allen|Karen Allen]] - Marion Ravenwood
* [[wikipedia:Shia LaBeouf|Shia LaBeouf]] - Mutt Williams
* [[wikipedia:Ray Winstone|Ray Winstone]] - George &quot;Mac&quot; McHale
* [[wikipedia:John Hurt|John Hurt]] - Harold &quot;Ox&quot; Oxley

==See also==
* ''[[Raiders of the Lost Ark]]''
* ''[[Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom]]''
* ''[[Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade]]''

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
* The official [http://www.indianajones.com Indiana Jones] site
* {{Imdb title|id=0367882|title=Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull}}
* {{Rotten-tomatoes|id=indiana_jones_4|title=Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull}}
* [http://www.theraider.net/films/indy4/index.php ''Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull''] at TheRaider.net
* [http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/indianajones.html ''Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull''] at [[w:Yahoo! Movies|Yahoo! Movies]]

[[Category:2008 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Action films]]
[[Category:Adventure films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Steven Spielberg films]]
[[Category:Extraterrestrial life films]]
[[Category:Nuclear weapons in media]]
[[Category:Films set in Nevada]]
[[Category:Films set in Peru]]
[[Category:Science fiction films]]
[[Category:Cold War films]]
[[Category:Screenplays by David Koepp]]
[[Category:Films set in jungles]]
[[Category:Treasure hunt films]]</text>
      <sha1>qzrptv2i43vnl0k2one2fsrg9ohxnnw</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Talk:David Hume</title>
    <ns>1</ns>
    <id>90343</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158645</id>
      <parentid>2823369</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T18:17:02Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>JesseW</username>
        <id>103587</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>revert weird vandalism of a talk page comment by 47.223.152.218 ; that's not how you contribute to an (already ended) discussion</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="4431" xml:space="preserve">All popular theology has a kind of appetite for absurdity and contradiction...while their gloomy apprehensions make them ascribe to Him measures of conduct which in human creatures would be blamed, they must still affect to praise and admire that conduct in the object of their devotional addresses. Thus it may safely be affirmed that popular religions are really, in the conception of their more vulgar votaries, a species of daemonism. - David Hume, The Natural History of Religion

&quot;Money is not, properly speaking, one of the subjects of commerce;
but only the instrument which men have agreed upon to facilitate the
exchange of one commodity for another. It is none of the wheels of
trade: It is the oil which renders the motion of the wheels more
smooth and easy.&quot;

Of Money
by David Hume(1752)

A section is needed for the &quot;Political Discourses&quot;, or else the essays should all be put together, but numbered according to the standard Miller edition.


http://socserv.mcmaster.ca/econ/ugcm/3ll3/hume/money.txt

== Jewish minx quote? ==

I've been trying to locate a source for the quote attributed to Hume by [[Hitchens]]: &quot;which is more likely, that the whole natural order is suspended or that a Jewish minx should tell a lie?&quot; (said in [http://hitchensdebates.blogspot.com/2010/11/hitchens-vs-sharpton-new-york-public.html his debate] with Sharpton) I haven't had any luck so far, but I thought I'd drop the request here, so there's at least a record of it. [[User:JesseW|JesseW]] ([[User talk:JesseW|talk]]) 05:42, 24 January 2013 (UTC)

:It's from his essay, 'On Miracles', which is included in most modern versions of the Enquiry I believe. {{unsigned2| 20:03, 4 January 2015‎|123.51.79.139}}
::I can't find anything resembling that quote in [[w:Of Miracles]] ([http://www.alhassanain.com/english/book/book/ethics_and_supplication/various_books/an_enquiry_concerning_human_understanding/011.html copy of the text from alhassanain.com]). Could you clarify where exactly you saw it? [[User:JesseW|JesseW]] ([[User talk:JesseW|talk]]) 05:39, 28 June 2015 (UTC)
::: Hitchens was probably thinking of [[Thomas Paine]]'s remark in [[s:The Age of Reason/Part I/Chapter XVII|''The Age of Reason'']]: &quot;Is it more probable that nature should go out of her course, or that a man should tell a lie?&quot; ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 08:29, 28 June 2015 (UTC)  
:::: ''Comment removed by author; see [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:David_Hume&amp;diff=1965174&amp;oldid=1964325 history] if you happen to care'' -- [[User:JesseW|JesseW]] ([[User talk:JesseW|talk]]) 03:11, 30 June 2015 (UTC)
::::: I believe Hitchens reference is about this quote: &quot;No testimony is sufficient to establish a miracle, unless the testimony be of such a kind, that its falsehood would be more miraculous than the fact which it endeavors to establish.&quot; It is not about quoting Hume so much as refering to his way of reasoning about miracles. Hitchens often referred to Hume in this way ut usually with something along the lines of &quot;What is more likely, that the laws of nature has been suspended in your favor, or that you've made a mistake&quot;, not exactly an accurate quote either, but both captures the essence of Humes reasoning.
How on earth do you turn this quote into 'Hitchens is a sexist'? It is clear, very, very clear as to what Hitchens is suggesting, and to somehow suggest sexism is involved is simply ignorant at best, or intentionally misinterpreting for you own agenda, at worse. -- {{unsigned2|17:04, 7 July 2016‎|115.72.181.139}}
: How on earth did you people (the commenter above, and the multiple IPs and accounts that have felt the need to modify my comment) wander across the David Hume talk page, and by what twisted line of logic did you convert an offhand comment thanking [[User:DanielTom]] for his research work into some kind of position statement on the gender politics of [[Christopher Hitchens]]? Since apparently reverting random alterations of said offhand comment is a (rather unnecessary) extra source of maintainence work for the recent change patrollers of Wikiquote (nevertheless, thank you [[User:IOHANNVSVERVS]]), I've removed it. Hopefully this will satisfy the defenders of ... whatever they think they are defending ... and the rest of us can get back to researching and sourcing obscure quotes. [[User:JesseW|JesseW]] ([[User talk:JesseW|talk]]) 00:59, 8 July 2016 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>8d7rw2xpdporazhkvhh1w2ozkjewxub</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Talk:Charles Babbage</title>
    <ns>1</ns>
    <id>96314</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158647</id>
      <parentid>1533104</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T18:31:15Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>JesseW</username>
        <id>103587</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Richard H. Babbage &amp; the pineapple quote */ and we've now got access to the Proceedings!</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3626" xml:space="preserve">==Full quote==
The &quot;sourced&quot; quote isn't really as interesting as listed. The full quote (from memory) is closer to;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Dear Mr Tennyson, in your poem &quot;Vision of Sin&quot; you state;
'for every moment that dies a man, another man is born'
this is not accurate. If it were the case the population of the world would be at a standstill. The correct value is approximately 1:1.06178, but I believe 1 and 1/16th will be sufficiently accurate for use in poetry&quot;

An interesting insight into a brilliant (yet poetically stunted) mind, I thought. 
&lt;br&gt;--[[User:BlueNovember|BlueNovember]] 23:10, 15 November 2008 (UTC)

== Richard H. Babbage &amp; the pineapple quote ==

I'm trying to dig up more information on the source for the &quot;pineapple&quot; quote, listed here and elsewhere as coming from &quot;The Work of Charles Babbage&quot; by Richard H. Babbage. I found this paragraph, that provides some more context, but I'm still looking for more... [[User:JesseW|JesseW]] ([[User talk:JesseW|talk]]) 23:45, 9 February 2013 (UTC)
:The intellectual bond between Babbage and Aiken was publicly emphasized by the presence of Richard H. Babbage at Harvard's 1947 Symposium on Large-Scale Digital Calculating Machinery. Babbage, a journalist from Canada, was a great-grandson of Charles Babbage. Attending the symposium on Aiken's express invitation, he contributed the opening technical paper, &quot;The Work of Charles Babbage&quot;; it consisted largely of selections from the published writings of his distinguished grandfather.
:* I. Bernard Cohen ''Howard Aiken: Portrait of a Computer Pioneer'', MIT Press, 2000 ISBN 9780262531795 p. 65
Found another, which cites the paragraph above:
:Richard Babbage (1883-1971?) was born in Ireland, but made his career as a journalist in Canada, working for the Montreal Star and associated papers from 1922-1949. His interest in his famous ancestor led him to take part in the memorable Harvard 1947 Symposium on Large-Scale Digital Calculating Machinery (Cohen 2000, 65). Babbage became a good friend of Chant’s, and gave him other scarce Babbage materials. There is a Richard H. Babbage fonds (MG55/29-No122) at the National Archives of Canada.
:*R.A. Rosenfeld, M. Tchelebon, J. Taylor ''Herschel, Babbage, and Isaac Newton’s Chair'', The Journal of The Royal Astronomical Society of Canada; June 2009 p. 110
With this, I'll see if I can dig up more about his family connection to Charles. [[User:JesseW|JesseW]] ([[User talk:JesseW|talk]]) 00:03, 10 February 2013 (UTC)

Found an address: &quot;R. H. Babbage, editor, 241 St. James St. West, Montreal, Canada&quot; in an announcement of the symposium: http://dx.doi.org/10.1090/S0025-5718-47-99592-6 . [[User:JesseW|JesseW]] ([[User talk:JesseW|talk]]) 00:20, 10 February 2013 (UTC)

The quote is in the referenced Proceedings, as listed in this [http://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt/search?id=uc1.b4502449;view=1up;seq=13;q1=%22instrument%2C%20however%20admirable%22;start=1;size=10;page=search;orient=0 Hathi Trust entry], which unfortunately provides no previews, or even snippets. [[User:JesseW|JesseW]] ([[User talk:JesseW|talk]]) 03:19, 10 February 2013 (UTC)
: And, 9 years later, the Internet Archive has made a scan available (thru Controlled Digital Lending), and I was able to find the quote! It is on [https://archive.org/details/proceedingsofsym0000symp_y9e6/page/20/mode/2up?q=%22instrument%2C+however%22 page 20], and has slight wording differences to what we have (I'll correct that). I still need to better understand the context to figure out how it got from there back to Charles. [[User:JesseW|JesseW]] ([[User talk:JesseW|talk]]) 18:31, 27 August 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>1n3cwvvewindy203iknuygrnz9kcuc0</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158681</id>
      <parentid>3158647</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T20:28:45Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>JesseW</username>
        <id>103587</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Richard H. Babbage &amp; the pineapple quote */ I think this might be a fabrication of Richard H.'s, from back in 1947!</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="5357" xml:space="preserve">==Full quote==
The &quot;sourced&quot; quote isn't really as interesting as listed. The full quote (from memory) is closer to;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Dear Mr Tennyson, in your poem &quot;Vision of Sin&quot; you state;
'for every moment that dies a man, another man is born'
this is not accurate. If it were the case the population of the world would be at a standstill. The correct value is approximately 1:1.06178, but I believe 1 and 1/16th will be sufficiently accurate for use in poetry&quot;

An interesting insight into a brilliant (yet poetically stunted) mind, I thought. 
&lt;br&gt;--[[User:BlueNovember|BlueNovember]] 23:10, 15 November 2008 (UTC)

== Richard H. Babbage &amp; the pineapple quote ==

I'm trying to dig up more information on the source for the &quot;pineapple&quot; quote, listed here and elsewhere as coming from &quot;The Work of Charles Babbage&quot; by Richard H. Babbage. I found this paragraph, that provides some more context, but I'm still looking for more... [[User:JesseW|JesseW]] ([[User talk:JesseW|talk]]) 23:45, 9 February 2013 (UTC)
:The intellectual bond between Babbage and Aiken was publicly emphasized by the presence of Richard H. Babbage at Harvard's 1947 Symposium on Large-Scale Digital Calculating Machinery. Babbage, a journalist from Canada, was a great-grandson of Charles Babbage. Attending the symposium on Aiken's express invitation, he contributed the opening technical paper, &quot;The Work of Charles Babbage&quot;; it consisted largely of selections from the published writings of his distinguished grandfather.
:* I. Bernard Cohen ''Howard Aiken: Portrait of a Computer Pioneer'', MIT Press, 2000 ISBN 9780262531795 p. 65
Found another, which cites the paragraph above:
:Richard Babbage (1883-1971?) was born in Ireland, but made his career as a journalist in Canada, working for the Montreal Star and associated papers from 1922-1949. His interest in his famous ancestor led him to take part in the memorable Harvard 1947 Symposium on Large-Scale Digital Calculating Machinery (Cohen 2000, 65). Babbage became a good friend of Chant’s, and gave him other scarce Babbage materials. There is a Richard H. Babbage fonds (MG55/29-No122) at the National Archives of Canada.
:*R.A. Rosenfeld, M. Tchelebon, J. Taylor ''Herschel, Babbage, and Isaac Newton’s Chair'', The Journal of The Royal Astronomical Society of Canada; June 2009 p. 110
With this, I'll see if I can dig up more about his family connection to Charles. [[User:JesseW|JesseW]] ([[User talk:JesseW|talk]]) 00:03, 10 February 2013 (UTC)

Found an address: &quot;R. H. Babbage, editor, 241 St. James St. West, Montreal, Canada&quot; in an announcement of the symposium: http://dx.doi.org/10.1090/S0025-5718-47-99592-6 . [[User:JesseW|JesseW]] ([[User talk:JesseW|talk]]) 00:20, 10 February 2013 (UTC)

The quote is in the referenced Proceedings, as listed in this [http://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt/search?id=uc1.b4502449;view=1up;seq=13;q1=%22instrument%2C%20however%20admirable%22;start=1;size=10;page=search;orient=0 Hathi Trust entry], which unfortunately provides no previews, or even snippets. [[User:JesseW|JesseW]] ([[User talk:JesseW|talk]]) 03:19, 10 February 2013 (UTC)
: And, 9 years later, the Internet Archive has made a scan available (thru Controlled Digital Lending), and I was able to find the quote! It is on [https://archive.org/details/proceedingsofsym0000symp_y9e6/page/20/mode/2up?q=%22instrument%2C+however%22 page 20], and has slight wording differences to what we have (I'll correct that). I still need to better understand the context to figure out how it got from there back to Charles. [[User:JesseW|JesseW]] ([[User talk:JesseW|talk]]) 18:31, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

So, the quote in the Proceedings is a '''multi-page''' quote cited as being from Charles Babbage's [https://archive.org/details/expositionorvie00babbgoog ''The Exposition of 1851'']. Most of the quote is generally accurate (and starts on page 80), but this particular quote about the pineapple is '''NOT''' present along with the rest. The part where things begin to diverge is: &quot;By such means it would be perfectly possible to make all calculations requiring tabular numbers, without the chance of error.&quot; After that sentence, the Proceedings move directly to the phrase: &quot;The fourth of the apparent impossibilities to which I have referred&quot; while the Exposition includes an additional paragraph. But it's after that in which things go really wrong: in the Exposition, that clause is followed by: &quot;involves a condition of so extraordinary a nature that even the most fastidious inquirer into the powers of the Analytical Engine could scarcely require it to fulfil. Knowing the kind of objections that my countrymen make to this invention,&quot; while the Proceedings skips again, and instead continues: &quot;concerns the kind of objections that my countrymen make to inventions.&quot; Then comes (in the Proceedings) the suspect quote, which is entirely missing from the Exposition, after which they converge again with &quot;I proposed to myself this inquiry&quot;. I'm unable to find the suspect quote anywhere in (this edition of) the Exposition, and (unless it's present in some other edition), I'm left with the uncomfortable suspicion that Richard H. invented the quote out of whole cloth and illegitimately inserted it (back in 1947!) into the scholarly record. Wow. [[User:JesseW|JesseW]] ([[User talk:JesseW|talk]]) 20:28, 27 August 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>h9hmowp3veknkec5d2cisrz0ywc1du7</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 3)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>98104</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158528</id>
      <parentid>3149447</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T16:17:00Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2800:98:1110:10ED:41A7:D5EF:FA19:8A9F</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Carl */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="50894" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 1)|1]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 2)|2]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 3)|3]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 4)|4]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 5)|5]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 6)|6]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 7)|7]] | [[Aqua Unit Patrol Squad 1]] | [[Aqua Something You Know Whatever]] | [[Aqua TV Show Show]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force Forever]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|'''Main''']]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:Aqua Teen Hunger Force|Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''''', (also known by various [[w:Aqua Teen Hunger Force#Alternative titles|alternative titles]]), (2000–15) is an [[w:animated series|animated television series]] from the [[w:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]]'s [[w:Adult Swim|Adult Swim]] programming block.  The show follows the exploits of three [[w:anthropomorphic|anthropomorphic]] fast food items: [[w:Master Shake|Master Shake]], the milkshake; [[w:Frylock|Frylock]], the carton of French fries; and [[w:Meatwad|Meatwad]], the aptly named wad of meat.

===Video Ouija===
:''[in living room playing Video Oujia]''
:'''Game''': ''Welcome to Video Oujia.''
:'''Meatwad''': ''[slowly]'' Spirits that haunt this house....COME OUT! And play with me!
:'''Master Shake''': What do you think you're runnin' the Matrix? You're gonna break that thing.
:'''Meatwad''': SSSHH! You disturbin the presence...
:'''Frylock''': Shake, he needs silence so he can talk to the dead.
:'''Master Shake''': What he needs is lack of oxygen so he can ''become'' the dead.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Billy Witch Doctor''': One convenient locations...in Africa.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Master Shake''': ''[final note before suicide]'' Friends...relations...whatever the hell Meatwad is... I've lived a full life. It's actually been...pretty bitchin'. But now, regrettably, my life has been taken. Please bury me with all my stuff, because you know it's mine. Dearest Meatwad: Turn on that dumb game 'cause I'm gonna wail on you from the grave, baby! Suck it up, mutha! Missing you already, M.S. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Billy Witch Doctor''': Chicken arise! Arise chicken! Arise!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Carl''': So uh, can we stop holdin' hands in fairy land here?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': Okay, Meatwad. Time to put the game up. It's gettin' late.
:'''Meatwad''': Come on!! Just one more dead person, please? Just one more dead guy.
:'''Frylock''': All right, one more.
:'''Meatwad''': Spirits that haunt this house. Tell me...what was we talkin' 'bout?
:'''Game Ghost''': My sister's baby.
:'''Meatwad''': Oh yeah, one them other dead boys told me about that. How she doin?
:'''Game Ghost''': She's dead. We're ''all'' dead.
:'''Meatwad''': Well at least she had all her fingers and toes, you know what I mean?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Billy Witch Doctor''': Please, all together, hold hands.
:'''Carl''': No, no no no. No, no. No, sir. I don't know what kinda vibe you think got off me but I don't play that way. I'm not that way!
:'''Frylock''': Carl..
:'''Carl''': I don't uh... do both sides of the field. Offense and defense, you know, with the short shorts? No-
:'''Frylock''': Carl, it's just a seance, it's not that way, come on, will ya?
:'''Billy Witch Doctor''': Now, please. Kiss him deep with tongue.
:'''Carl''': Do what?!
:'''Billy Witch Doctor''': Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho. Just kid. Just kid, dirty boy. Touch hands.
:''[Frylock and Carl join hands and Meatwad takes a Polaroid pic]''
:'''Meatwad''': You boyfriend and boyfriend!
:'''Frylock''': Meatwad!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Billy Witch Doctor''': Please. Read from sheets. I Am...
:'''Frylock, Carl, Meatwad''': I Am...
:'''Billy Witch Doctor''': Sofa King...
:'''Frylock, Carl, Meatwad''': Sofa King...
:'''Billy Witch Doctor''': We Todd Ed...
:'''Frylock, Carl, Meatwad''': We Todd Ed...
:'''Billy Witch Doctor''': Now, repeat all very fast, please.
:'''Frylock, Carl, Meatwad''': I Am Sofa King...
:'''Billy Witch Doctor''': Faster.
:'''Frylock, Carl, Meatwad''': I Am Sofa King We...
:'''Billy Witch Doctor''': No, no, not so fast. Loses meaning.
:'''Frylock, Carl, Meatwad''': I Am Sofa King We Todd Ed.
:'''Billy Witch Doctor''': Hohohohoh, you say funny thing.

&lt;hr width+&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

===The Unremarkable Voyage===
:[''Spacataz - The Mooninites are flipping off the Plutonians as their ship zooms by the Mooninites'']
:'''Oglethorpe''': Oh, he did ''not'' do that!
:'''Emory''': What, what'd you see?
:'''Oglethorpe''': That dude back there just flipped me off!
:[''Cut to the Mooninite's ship'']
:'''Err''': Did he see it?
:'''Ignignokt''': Oh, yes, Err. He saw the finger. My question is, does he know what to do with it?
:[''On the Plutonian's ship'']
:'''Oglethorpe''': Stop the ship!
:'''Emory''': Okay... you know we're not supposed to stop, at this speed-
:'''Oglethorpe''': Stop it at ''this speed''!
:[''On the Mooninite's ship'']
:'''Err''': Ohh man, that's just gonna-- Oh man he's backin' up! Fuckin' fly, he's backin' up!! Come on!!
:'''Ignignokt''': ''[giving both middle fingers]'' No. We'll double his pleasure.
:'''Err''': ''[giving both middle fingers]'' Take two mother muchachos!
:'''Ignignokt''': And call us in the morning.
:'''Err''': Yeah, call us! We'll be drunk!
:'''Oglethorp''': Hey what's wrong with your fingers? They seem to be all up in my grill when they would be better placed...CRAMMED UP YOUR BUTTOCKS...BIZNATCH!
:'''Emory''': You should say that to his face.
:'''Oglethorp''': I will, just as soon as I flip them off! I- [''Tries and fails since he has tentacles and not fingers''] You flip them off with your fingers, Emory!
:'''Emory''': [''Having the same problem''] I- I can't get it to do right.
:'''Oglethorp''': Well, then, show them the dark side of the PLUTONIAN MOON!
:[''Cut to the Mooninites' ship'']
:'''Err''': Heh heh- what the-? Dude, they're moonin' us!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''Spacecataz- Oglethorp is planning to prank the Mooninites'']
:'''Emory''': All right, dude... let's just cut our losses, and walk away.
:'''Oglethorp''': Nein! The time for maturity is OVER!
:[''He dials a pizza place'']
:'''Oglethorp''': Hello- I would like to order one million... no, wait- FIFTY MILLION LARGE PIZZAS!
:[''Later, when a cargo ship is unloading the pizzas on the Mooninites' ship'']
:'''Oglethorp''': Look at them! They are so stuck with that bill. It's not even funny, but I am laughing anyway! Ha ha ha ha ha!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Frylock uses his newly invented shrink ray to shrink down a computer chip]''
:'''Frylock''': Amazing! Do you realize that now this chip can be inserted into a microbot that enter into someone's skin through a pore-
:'''Meatwad''': ''[takes microchip]'' Or it can be inserted into the mouth, manually, so it can battle hunger and taste good. ''[swallows microchip]''
:'''Master Shake''' Oooh!
:'''Frylock''': Tell me you didn't just ''eat'' that frickin'-
:'''Meatwad''': Well boy you said it was a chip. So where's the dip? Or am I ''lookin'' at him? 
:'''Master Shake''': Oooooh! You did not even just do that! You are so dead! Oh NO you DIDN'T! Oh my God!
:'''Master Shake''': Alright, my teeth feel gritty, and I'm gonna lie down.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': I need that chip Meatwad. One way...or the other.
:'''Meatwad''': Oh okay. Fecal matter. Stool sample.
:'''Frylock''': Don't talk about it, just do it.
:'''Meatwad''': Well I don't do it. My body consumes all waste material. It's like the Thunderdome in here, only, two men enter...no man leaves. Rated R.
:'''Frylock''': No!
:'''Meatwad''': Starring Mel Gibson, and Master Blaster.
:'''Frylock''': Are you serious?!
:'''Meatwad''': Yep.
:'''Frylock''': You don't...
:'''Meatwad''': Don't what?
:'''Frylock''': Uuuhh...
:'''Meatwad''': Come on.
:'''Frylock''': Uuhh...you know...
:'''Meatwad''': Look, we are all adults here. You can say it.
:'''Frylock''': Uh, poop?
:'''Meatwad''': ''[laughing]'' YOU SAID POOP!! Hey Shake, Frylock said poop in here!
:'''Master Shake''': ''[from bedroom]'' Poop! HAHAHA! ''[vomits]'' HAHAHA! Poop!

===Remooned===
:'''Err''': Is he all right?
:'''Ignignokt''': Cliff hasn't been &quot;all right&quot; since the lunar war.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ignignokt''': It feels good to stretch my legs. Boy, I haven't bitch-slapped someone since [[w:Tucson|Tucson]].
:'''Err''': Bend over slave!
:'''Ignignokt''': Prepare for a pride-obliterating bitch-slap.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Err''': Carlito wants his hand back.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ignignokt''': Cash our check and you will get...''immortal.''
:'''Err''': Neverending life.
:'''Carl''': ...Nah. Sometimes I kinda wanna die. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''(Master Shake &amp; the Mooninites at a convenience store)''
:'''Master Shake''': What do you mean no? Do you know how much this check is for? 'Cause I do not!
:'''Clerk''': Uhh, we don't cash checks here.
:'''Master Shake''': And we don't respond to threats. Let me say it one more time in a language I like to call English. Or maybe I should say it in Mexicano: Get back there-o and cash-o de check-o, amigo. Andale! Andale!
:'''Ignignokt''': He's not responding, cup. Lay into him more.
:'''Err''': ''(from ouside)'' Lay into him some more!
:'''Ignignokt''': I've got this Err.
:'''Clerk''': Uhh, that thing is your check?
:'''Master Shake''': Yeah, that is the check.
:'''Clerk''': Well, we don't cash 'em.
:'''Master Shake''': Oh you never seen a ''check'' before? Oh, me so sorry. Maybe you're in the wrong business, and maybe immigration would like to know about this.
:'''Clerk''': Good, 'cause you know what? I'm American.
:'''Master Shake''': Well, I'm not, but when I become one, maybe then I'll ''legally'' buy a weapon and we won't have to vote you out of office, won't we scumbag?!
:''(Cut to Master Shake &amp; the Mooninites outside of the store)
:'''Master Shake:''' Unbelievable!
:'''Ignignokt:''' Unfathomable.
:'''Master Shake:''' Y'know, they sneak in and then they try to rule us. ''(Looks into the store)'' Well, I'm gonna sneak into your country and do this job there ''and then not cash any of your friggin' checks!'' How will you like ''that?!'' You ''won't'', because ''you'll be'' '''''here!'''''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Shake''': What happened?  Did he buy it?
:'''Meatwad''': I bought me some gum.
:'''Shake''': Where did you get gum?
:'''Ignignokt''': Where did you get gum?
:'''Meatwad''': In there. In the gum aisle.
:'''Err''': Perfect.
:'''Shake''': That's not what we sent you in there for!
:'''Meatwad''': But that's what I come out with.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Master Shake''': Where did you get gum?
:'''Meatwad''': In there, in the gum isle. They got a whole lot of stuff in there.
:'''Ignignokt''': Tell me, were there weanie-wraps?
:'''Meatwad''': Microwavable, but weanie-wraps none the less, and burger-dorps.
:'''Err''': Burger-drops! (jumps through the window and starts shooting lasers).
:'''Meatwad''': And burrito-cakes.
:'''Master Shake''': I thought they stopped making those.
:'''Meatwad''': And pizza-balls
:'''Master Shake''': Pizza-balls?!
:'''Ignignokt''': Do they have lil' turkey-muffins?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': No, Shake. The other kind. The bad kind. The kidney-losing kind. In fact, this is not a check at all, Shake. This is a bill, for home care! 
:'''Master Shake''': Impossible. That's not a bill. 
:'''Frylock''': This is... Cliff, does anyone know a Cliff? 
:'''Ignignokt''': Yes, my name is Cliff, and that's not a bill. Tell him, Err. 
:'''Err''': That's a bill. 
:'''Ignignokt''': A bi— Why are we trying to cash a bill, Err?
:'''Err''': I don't know. It's your uncle.
:'''Ignignokt''': It is my uncle. Don't you forget it. 
:'''Err''': On the way down, I kept saying, 'This is a bill.' Just figured you knew something I didn't. 
:'''Ignignokt''': I ''did'' know something I didn't! But it wasn't that.
:'''Master Shake''': Wait a minute. I've been hauling a radioactive ''bill'' all over town, for ''you'' guys?

===Gee Whiz===

:'''George Lowe''': Standards and practices are a vital link in keeping good and funny ideas away from you, the television viewer.  Watch how this nun reacts when we blow her brains out.
:''George points a shotgun at a smiling nun's head and pulls the trigger.  Her head explodes and blood starts pouring out.''
:'''TV Warning''': ''No! Permission not granted!''
:'''George Lowe''': Oh no, looks like someone's about to get an e-mail. 
:''The same scene is then re-enacted, yet this time a rainbow pours out instead of a blood.''
:'''George Lowe''': Looks like someone's about to get an &quot;A&quot;.  By following the rules, you're guaranteed to make a mediocre product that no one can relate to.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Meatwad''': Hey. Hey. Hey, hey. Do a search ... for free pizza. Then see if it come out this drive. [looks in empty cup] Is this a drive?
:'''Frylock:''' I'm reading my news, if you don't mind.
:'''Meatwad:''' News is good food for your mind, but I want food for my mouth.
:''[brief silence]''
:'''Meatwad:''' [muttering] You better hear what I'm sayin', I'll unplug this whole computer...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Angry that Meatwad is pretending he's pregnant, Shake angrily jumps up and down with his eyes shut and his mouth open screaming]''
:'''Shake''':(angrily screaming) I should be the one!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Meatwad''': So, what was we talkin 'bout here?
:'''Frylock''': Well people say they're seeing the face of, the J-man, and they're claiming to be healed.
:'''Meatwad''': Uh-huh. Who's the J-man?
:'''Frylock''': Ya know...starts with a J, son of...G. Died and went to H...on the C?
:'''Meatwad''': Died on the C...Commode. Commode! Elvis! It's Elvis!
:'''Frylock''': No, but he was a king. And he did live in a Graceland of sorts. ''[Frylock sighs as Meatwad continues to not get it]'' He looks like Ted Nugent.
:'''Meatwad''': Oh yeah, I know that ol' boy! It's Je-
:'''Frylock''': Don't say it! Let's just call him...Gee Whiz.


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Meatwad''': Dear Gee Whiz, please bless thine presence with a 16-inch thick crust meat craver's special, with the mild sauce. Amen. And please bring a side of wings while we wait.
:'''Frylock''': Meatwad, what the hell are you doing?!
:'''Meatwad''': Shut up! He's making pizza!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Meatwad''': Oh, Boy I apologize. My hormones are goin' nuts. Now please, if you would, get the fuck out of my way. I mean, how many times do I have to fucking write ice cream on this fucking list before someone gets their shit in gear, and brings home the fucking ice cream! Maybe I should get a steak knife AND ETCH INTO YOUR MOTHERFUCKING FOREHEAD! HOW HARD CAN IT FUCKING BE!!!!! ICE MOTHERFUCKING CREAM!!!!! I GUESS THAT'S THE PRICE I PAY FOR LIVING WITH TWO FUCKING MORONS!!!!!
:'''Master Shake''': What happened to courtesy? Did it just disappear?
:'''Frylock''': I just can't believe it.
:'''Master Shake''': WHO WOULD MAKE LOVE TO THAT??!  How do you make love to...do you have a book...how do you do it, I'm asking.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': I stole this ultrasound program off the internet.
:'''Shake''': Well that's stealing.
:'''Frylock''': I said I stole it.
:'''Shake''': Would you get me the Lord of the Rings?
:'''Frylock''': I already have that.  It's on my hard drive.  Ok, Meatwad, now-
:'''Shake''': [interrupting] How 'bout watchin' it?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ted Nugent''': Hey how you guys doin'? Anybody without a gun, a knife, a handkerchief and a chapstick get the fuck outta here!
:'''Frylock''': Who are you?
:'''Shake''': Gee Whiz?
:'''Carl''': That is FREAKIN TED NUGENT! ''[shot with an arrow]'' Ahh! you shot my arm! 
:'''Ted Nugent''': Sorry man, thought you were a varmin.
:'''Shake''': Wango ze tango eh?
:'''Ted Nugent''': Yes it is my image you saw in that billboard
:'''Shake''': I kept tellin' him, Ted Nugent. He's stupid
:'''Frylock'''': What are you doing here?
:'''Ted Nugent''': Which of you numbnuts left a dollar in front of my billboard?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Carl''': Hey Nug, you gonna sign my arrow?
:'''Ted Nugent''': Don't move man.
:'''Carl''': I got a Cat Scratch Fever loincloth I still wear on laundry night.
:'''Ted Nugent''': I'm tellin' ya, don't move!
:'''Carl''': Why, what's the- AAAAAHHH!! ''[Carl explodes; rainbow appears]''
:'''Frylock''': Well I'm sure glad that wasn't blood. I would have been motherfuckin' offended out of my fuckin' ass.
:'''Master Shake''': Me too, ya motherfuckin' cock-suck.
:'''TV Voice''': ''[green check mark appears]'' Acceptable!

&lt;hr width+&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

===eDork===
:'''Meatwad''': Why don't you just go to the hose, drink you some water?  Like the dog you are.
:'''Master Shake''': I'm not turning on some analog faucet to drink some barbaric water.  The mouth is a primitive hole that will soon be phased out; you better start takin' some pictures of &lt;i&gt;those&lt;/i&gt;!
:'''Meatwad''': Could you phase it out now?  Cuz it's pissin' me off.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Carl''':  What the hell is that?
:'''Master Shake''':  It takes your MP3's that you download live off the Internet and transforms them into this song!
:'''Carl''':  Yeah but will it do the ultimate song... Boston's &quot;More Than A Feeling&quot;?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Meatwad''': ''[to Shake]'' Hey boy, I'm Commander Meat, and you are in direct violation of Space Treaty 109. Your ass is mine.
:'''Master Shake''': Ah HA! Treaties only go up to 103. Everyone from space knows that.
:'''Meatwad''': Well, I mean I know that. I was just playin' with you.
:'''Master Shake''': Those treaties are very real and very serious. ''[realizes Meatwad has the ehelmet Shake gave to Frylock]'' Is that, where did you get- That is not your ehelmet!
:'''Meatwad''': Well yeah it is. 'Cause Frylock said it was stupid, that's why I could wear it, 'cause I don't know no better.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Schooly D''': Yo Shake, I ain't wanna say nothin man, but you look like a motherfuckin idiot!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Master Shake''': What are you doing?
:'''Meatwad''': Painting you with honey.
:'''Master Shake''': Eh, that could be cool ... ''[notices a package on the ground]'' Is that... is that my package?
:'''Meatwad''': Nuh-uh. This is MY package.
:'''Master Shake''': No it's not, it's mine!
:'''Meatwad''': I'm allowed to get a package if I want to. 
:'''Master Shake''': OK, so what's in your package that's not mine?
:'''Meatwad''': I dunno, let's see ... (opens package) BEES, BOY, BEES!!!
:'''Master Shake''':AHH, CARL!!! HELP! I'M BEING ATTACKED BY BEES HERE!!!!
:'''Carl''': Bees? didja get that link I sent you, about the woman having sex with a bee?
:'''Master Shake''': Will you shut up?!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Master Shake''': You know, I'm kinda gettin' a bad headache.
:'''Carl''': Yeah, I know what you mean, man.
:'''Master Shake''': And I don't know if it's this song, or if it is the heavy magnets that were inserted into the base of my neck.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Carl''': Can someone please just shut off all the sex? I'm starting to chafe here.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Meatwad''': Here's something that must be attached to your head.
:'''Master Shake''': I just may. What is it?
:'''Meatwad''': Well, it's an e-booger. See, it allows...booger transmission...to the snot network! 
:'''Master Shake''': WAIT!!
:''[Meatwad throws booger at Shake]''
:'''Meatwad''': I wiped it on you, boy!
:'''Master Shake''': Wipe it off! Great, it's gonna harden now.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Meatwad''': What are you doin' ?
:'''Shake''': We are advancing the world with technology
:'''Meatwad''': Cuz it looks like.. dem boys is... that droids in heat..
:'''Frylock''': Meatwad back away, that's not something you should be seeing.
:'''Carl''': Will someone tell me what's going on here?
:'''Meatwad''': They makin babies out here.
:'''Shake''': We need the intelligence helmets.. go give them reason. Frylock, order the intelligence helmets immediately.
:'''Meatwad''': Do Standard Delivery.
:'''Shake''': Same Day! Same Day! It's gotta be same day! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': Alright, it's here.
:'''Shake''': Alright! 
:'''Carl''': Shut up, let him talk!
:'''Frylock''': It has intelligence... but .. of a 4 year old
:'''Carl''': Craaaaap
:'''Shake''': That's fine.. A child knows pain... and a 4 year old would definitely run from this
:'''Carl''': Turn it on!
[Placing the Helmet on Shake's Cup]
:'''Helmet''': No means, no! I'm telling on you!
:'''Carl''': Aww.. I feel like I should call my parents
:'''Shake''': Intelligence is a wonderful thing.. The control and restraint shown--
:'''Helmet''': Oh Boy! A pool! Mommy I go swimming! [jumps in and gets shocked]
:'''Carl''': No, Leave her! She's too young for you GAH!! [jumps in too]

&lt;hr width+&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

===Robositter===
:'''Meatwad''': Good mornin'! I'll have me two Steak-Umms.
:'''Shake''': You're about to learn the value of a hard...day's...night! Because you need to get out there, and start working on a job!
:'''Meatwad''': That'd be a violation of child labor laws.
:'''Frylock''': Well, he is right. He's too young...uh, besides, there are sanitation issues...
:'''Meatwad''': That's right! This hand, been up my butt...but I'll touch your food all day long with it!
:'''Shake''': Well, your congressman will know about how...bullcrap...this is!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Shake''': What the hell is this?  I told you fireman, astronaut, racecar driver, maybe bikini judge, and this is what I get?  Food service?  Are you kidding me?  This is third world, and I'm from the first!  I'm number one, baby.
:'''Frylock''': I'm amazed they even hired you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': Did you even read the training manual?
:'''Shake''': The only thing I read are the zeroes on my paycheck.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': Look, okay, I'll do this, why don't you go and give out free shots of that ham.
:''[Shake swigs down, then violently vomits back up, liquified meat from a pitcher]''
:'''Shake''': That was ''ham'' in that pitcher?!
:'''Frylock''': No, that was &quot;Fried Chiquid&quot;.
:'''Shake''': Who friggin' ''thought'' of this place?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robositter''': Where's your phone?
:'''Meatwad''': You can call Candyland with this one, talk to Gumdrop Larry. You need a calling card made of candy.
:'''Robositter''': ''[smacks the toy phone out of Meatwad's hands]'' You are in big trouble! I want the real phone, and I want it now, or I will tear your soul apart!
:''[Robositter throws Meatwad against the wall.]''
:'''Meatwad''': ''[crying]'' I'm tellin'! I am tellin'!
:'''Robositter''': Tell who? The hounds of Hell will feast upon you, and I'll make it happen!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Meatwad''': ''[crying and trying to open a bottle of pills]'' Can I have some imodium ad?
:'''Robositter''': What did I tell you about the hounds of Hell you retarded mutant?!
:'''Meatwad''': You said they was gonna get me.
:'''Robositter''': You can have ''a'' pill. ''[takes pill bottle]'' Here let me help you open it. ''[throws pill bottle out the window]'' Go see if they're open. ''[throws Meatwad out same window]''
:'''Meatwad''': Okay.
:'''Robositter''': SOMEONE BROKE A WINDOW THAT NEEDS A SPANKING!! ''[starts up sawing feature]''
:'''Meatwad''': ''[starts running]'' OH MY GOD!!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': You're liquified, bitch!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Shake''': Where are those girls?  Did you give them the money yet?
:'''Frylock''': Does it look like it?
:'''Shake''': I was supposed to buy them wine coolers!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Carl and Meatwad stand in front of Carl's burned down house]''
:'''Meatwad''': So it's either you definitely should not play with matches, or you definitely should.
:'''Carl''': It's definitely one or the other.
:'''Meatwad''': Which one you think it is, Carl?
&lt;hr width+&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

===Little Brittle===

:'''Ignignokt''': I'm sorry, you have the wrong number. ''[hangs up phone]''
:'''Oglethorpe''': Dammit! Why did you hang up on me?! Hit redial!
:''[phone rings]''
:'''Ignignokt''': Hello?
:'''Oglethorpe''': Hello.. this is Mr. Brown. I believe that we got disconnet-
:'''Ignignokt''': I'm sorry, you have the wrong number. ''[hangs up phone]''
:'''Oglethorpe''': Ohh dammit!

&lt;hr width='50%'/&gt;
:'''Little Brittle''': ''Please come visit me dawg &lt;br&gt; Well back in 1912 I could kick your ass &lt;br&gt; I did the tango and the foxtrot before it got banned &lt;br&gt; There was ragtime and jazz before there ever was rap &lt;br&gt; Now I'm trapped with a colostomy bag in my pants...''
:'''Frylock''': Oh no!
:'''Meatwad''': Oh yeah!
:'''Frylock''': Oh Hell no!
:'''Meatwad''': Hell yeah!
:'''Frylock''': We are not doing this again. No way.
:'''Meatwad''': Yeah way!
:'''Frylock''': This is MC Pee Pants isn't it? Isn't it?!
:'''Meatwad''': No.
:'''Frylock''': Okay fine. Sir-Loin right?
:'''Meatwad''': Nope.
:'''Frylock''': Okay, well who is it, then?
:'''Meatwad''': Guess. ''[looking back and forth at a poster]'' Where are my eyes lookin'?
:'''Frylock''': Will you just tell me who he is? 'Cause I'm not gonna look at your poster.
:'''Meatwad''': This here's Little Brittle and the C-bag. And he's kickin' it, elderly school.

&lt;hr width='50%'/&gt;
:'''Master Shake''': Where do you two think you're going?
:'''Frylock''': Wherever the hell we want.
:'''Master Shake''': Not without me!
:'''Meatwad''': We're going to see Little Brittle at the old folks home.
:'''Master Shake''': Go without me!

&lt;hr width='50%'/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': ''(Flipping through pictures)'' You don't remember meeting us? Okay, a couple of years ago, you were a six-foot-tall spider that wanted us to help you drill a hole into the earth to unleash demons to run your global diet pill pyramid scheme.
:'''Little Brittle''': The what?
:'''Frylock''': All right, what about this one? A year later, you were a cow that tried to get us to bring all our garbage to you so you could use flies to evaporate the walls of a bank so you could get the money and...
:''(Flips to picture of himself in an S &amp; M mask and quickly flips away)''
:'''Frylock''': So you could get the money to rent patio furniture that you hadn't paid for yet.
:'''Meatwad''': And this is us at dinner right before we sent you to the slaughterhouse.

&lt;hr width='50%'/&gt;
:'''Master Shake''': Frylock!  You're not gonna believe this! A prowler broke in here and forced your cupcakes in my mouth, and he said if you don't leave the room right now, and let him use the internet, he'll shoot me!
:'''Frylock''': Fine.
:'''Master Shake''': He has a gun, you know.
:'''Frylock''': Well, he said he'd shoot you, so I did figured it was a gun.
:'''Master Shake''': Frylock, I am completely serious here- [Frylock picks up a tray of cupcakes]...You had MORE cupcakes?!
:'''Frylock''': Oh you think I can just leave whatever the hell I want around you?
:'''Master Shake''': Well I leave things around you and I don't cry!

&lt;hr width='50%'/&gt;
:'''Little Brittle''': See, I released it in Transylvania so vampires would come and visit me and I could get them to bite into my neck and then I could become immortal! Why the hell do you think I made myself look so sexy on the cover?!
:'''Frylock''': See, I knew it. I knew some bullshit was up with you. I knew it!
:'''Little Brittle''': Look, yo. Brittle needs to live forever! Otherwise I go down to hell and Satan send me back as something worse! He's got all these ideas... he don't tell me none of them!

&lt;hr width='50%'/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': Why don't you just become Christian?
:'''Meatwad''': That way when you die, you go to heaven, away from bad ol' Satan.
:'''Little Brittle''': Can I do that? I mean, are they cool with vampires, because I ''gots'' to feast on blood!
:'''Frylock''': No, you can only become one or the other. And the other, which is a vampire, is impossible.
:'''Little Brittle''': Well then I guess I'm a Christian. Oh yeah, bringin in the sheaves ya'll! Who knew I had it in me? ''I'' did. Now kill me, quick!
:'''Frylock''': We're not going to kill you. The moral thing to do is to let you die naturally..alone, in a pile of your own filth.
:'''Little Brittle''': Look, it's easy. Just build a time machine, go back into prehistoric times with a satellite tracking device and a laser gun, blow up the comet, save all the dinosaurs so they don't die out and create fossil fuels, so there ain't no energy to feed my food tube.
:'''Meatwad''': Or we could just pull this plug right here.
:'''Little Brittle''': Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah..do that!

&lt;hr width+'50%'/&gt;

===Moon Master===
:'''Meatwad''': ''[to Shake]'' Hey, hey. Yeah, you. Where is my high powered video game console? I will kick some ass if I do not find it.
:'''Shake''':  I told myself I wouldn't do this, but you've been so good this week that I upgraded it with these special chips.
:''[Meatwad's game console is covered with food crumbs]''
:'''Meatwad''': ''[Eating the crumbs]'' Mmmmh, thems chocolate chips.
:'''Shake''': Yeah, and &quot;thems&quot;, ants!  It's a new game called &quot;Ant Madness&quot; only this time, the game is real.  Can you handle it?
:'''Meatwad''': Deliciously. Hows it work? What's the object? How many bosses must I face?
:'''Shake''': It is a race against time and terror to save the world starring [[w:Eric Stoltz|Eric Stoltz]].
:'''Meatwad''': Oh, yea yea I play this all the time.
:'''Shake''': Play again! Hurry man, before there's still time!
:'''Meatwad''': ''[rolling around in ants]'' Just roll around in there?
:'''Shake''': Yeah just piss them off real good.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Err''': ''[reading from a note]'' The Gorgotron has destroyed our armies and villages and people and all of our pets and he has layed waste to all of our...craps.
:'''Ignignokt''': Crops is what I typed, Err.
:'''Err''': But it says &quot;craps&quot;.
:'''Ignignokt''': I know, Err.
:'''Err''': Craps is funnier.
:'''Ignignokt''': I've processed that humor.
:'''Err''': It should be craps, cause craps is a funny word.
:'''Ignignokt''': Maybe we'll go with that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': So buying all this stuff is going to help you kill this Gorgotron thing? How? Just tell me that.
:'''Ignignokt''': Well wouldn't your ass like to know.
:'''Err''': That is why he asked.
:'''Ignignokt''': I know, Err, shut up. I am in control of this conversation.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Carl''': Hello lady or gentleman of the house. My name is insert name and I am the one and only Moon Master, savior of..uh.. ''[looks up to see Shake and Meatwad dressed as moon masters]'' Oh man. They already talked to you didn't they?! Dammit!
[Cut to Meatwad in a moonmaster costume and calling Shake 9 times]
:'''Meatwad''': Shake!! Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Sha-
:'''Master Shake''':(screams angrily) What?!
:'''Meatwad''': ''(sees Shake glaring at him in front of the Aqua Teen door)'' Oh, so you just waltz out here and think that you gonna face a true warrior? ..and then, ya know.. sign my sheet and be part of my warrior list..
:'''Master Shake''': Oh you better believe I will! After these messages![He goes inside and watches TV. Meatwad calls him again. He comes outside and uses a shotgun and shoots Meatwad's toy sword]
:''[Shake fires a shot gun at Meatwad's toy scept]''
:'''Meatwad''': You done messed up the Lunar Sceptor! There is but one in the known galaxy! Well, thank God I bought the three-pack.
:'''Master Shake''': Thank God I brought three shells. Come on, whip 'em out.
:'''Meatwad''': Well, whip on this. ''[pulls out an amulet]'' All right, hang on. Sha na na na na, sha na na na.
:''[the amulet glows and makes a sound like the ATHF theme]''
:'''Master Shake''': What the hell are you doing?
:'''Meatwad''': G-Get a job.
:'''Master Shake''': &quot;Get a job?&quot; What?
:'''Meatwad''': You feelin' like any sorta like, meltin' sensation?
:'''Master Shake''': No, but if I do I'm going to totally tell on you and then you'll have to go to jail.
:'''Meatwad''': No, no, no! Please, don't tell!
:'''Master Shake''': Oohhh, now that you mention it...
:'''Meatwad''': No, no, don't, just, I-I won't do it again. I won't do it again. But stand still.. I'm gonna do it again. Sha na na na-
:''[Shake fires shot gun at amulet]''
:'''Meatwad''': Impossible, the lunar melting amulet is constructed of high tensile moon noodles. No mortal man can destroy it.
:'''Master Shake''': Yeah, that's right.
:'''Meatwad''': Then you, too, are a moon master!
:'''Master Shake''': Now and forever.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Err''': Please help us ''[snickers]'' save our craps! ''[laughs]''
:'''Ignignokt''': Stop, Err! You're fueling my silent rage!

&lt;hr width+&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

===Diet===

:'''Meatwad''': Hey Carl, how's it going?
:'''Carl''': Hey what?
:'''Meatwad''': I'm just power walking.
:'''Carl''': What are you frickin' doing that for? You're just gonna die.
:'''Meatwad''': Yeah I know, but I need to drop a couple pounds.  My feet's so fat I can't get into my roller skates, and my neckerchief don't fit anymore...look at this...[squeezes neckerchief on]...eeeeeehhh eeeh!  [it doesn't fit at all] 'This a stickup!'  It don't work.  I do this at a bank robbery, I look like a fool.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': All right, the running man.
:'''Meatwad''': Oh no no no, I power walk.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': So, how far'd you run, Meatwad?
:'''Meatwad''': I powerwalked down to that pile o' gummy bears and back.  I should probably set the pile out further … or closer, so I can get at 'em.
:'''Frylock''': Maybe you shouldn't eat the gummy bears once you —
:'''Meatwad''': Well, that's the half-way point!  Shit, you don't put the gummy bears out, then there ain't no reason to run!  Or powerwalk which is what I did.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Master Shake''': I don't know why your exercising. It's just sweat that you're gonna have to wash off.  Exercising's for dummies and women.
:'''Carl''': Yeah, you oughta hop on my diet, man.  Started it two days ago and I'm already at my target weight.
:'''Meatwad''': Which'un?
:'''Carl''': South Bronx Paradise Diet, baby!  Yeeeeah!  The twist is you eat MORE than you want, then you supplement that with this special candy bar.  And it ain't like them sissy No Crabs diet either.
:'''Frylock''': I think that's No Carbs, Carl.
:'''Carl''': See, but I have crabs.  So I don't qualify for that.  Have I told you that before?
:'''Frylock''': Yeah.
:'''Carl''': Funny story-
:'''Master Shake''': Well, I don't have to watch what I eat OR what I do.  Call me Mr. Untouchable!
:'''Frylock''': Yeah, and that's why you're a candidate for heart disease.
:'''Master Shake''': Well...I have three hearts...cuz I'm from Tattooine.  And my mother-
:'''Frylock''': No you're not.
:'''Master Shake''': Really?  Cuz you know I get my physical every year...on Alderaan!!
:'''Frylock''': That didn't happen.
:'''Master Shake''': [visibly frustrated] Well...I...I am from the Dagoba System!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Meatwad struggles to lift weight as though he has done several reps and Frylock finally lifts it up for him.]''
:'''Meatwad''': Uhh. One.
:''[Meatwad drops the weight.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Meatwad''': Mmmmm.  This here's a good steak.  A little chewy, but it will do.
:'''Frylock''': Well, because the steak is a … cat toy.
:''[Meatwad spits out the steak.]''
:'''Frylock''': But, I don't know why a cat would play with a steak, but, I just put it in there to get you excited about your real dinner: this, uh, celery stalk right here.  Mmmm!
:'''Meatwad''': Well, it ain't workin'. Now, if you expect me to eat this, you gonna have to supply me with some wing sauce. 
:'''Frylock''': How about a twist of lemon? 
:'''Meatwad''': How about a twist of I gouge your motherfuckin' eyes out? Get me the goddamn wing sauce!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Meatwad''': Hey, can I have just one funnel cake … ''[softly]'' eating contest?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': Well, fuck me runnin'.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': Eww!  It's a human liver!  ''[pokes liver]'' Is this yours, Carl?
:'''Carl''': Oh, all right.  I don't know, who cares?  It's dead weight is what that is.
:'''Meatwad''': C-c-can I have it?
:'''Frylock''': No, Meatwad!
:'''Meatwad''': What?  I'm about to die of hunger here!  I need meat!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Master Shake''': Beep beep beep beep doo doo beep... Oh R2!(chuckles) 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': Carl you in here? Carl? Hello?
''Carl pokes his head into frame as he's on the ceiling.''
:'''Carl''': Yeah?
:'''Frylock''': No...
:'''Carl''': You know, I can actually hear you, talkin', in your living room.  I got some crazy amazing hearing.  They don't tell you that in the book.
''Carl is sliding across the ceiling on his stomach''
:'''Frylock''': What are you doing?
:'''Carl''': It's part of the diet, it says if you want to slide around on your stomach, don't fight the urge.
:'''Frylock''': You know you're up on the ceiling right?
:'''Carl''': Oh, oh yeah that, well, I like to be next to this light.  Like, real next to it.  Why? What are you queer?
''Carl extends a frog like tounge to eat a flying insect''
:'''Frylock''': Eww Carl.
:'''Carl''': I told you, I can eat anything I want with this frickin' diet.  It's great!  ''[Carl unscrews his light fixture on the ceiling]'' And the kicker?  No long term ramifications!
''Carl begins licking the inside of the light fixture for dead insects''

&lt;hr width+&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


===Dusty Gozongas===
:'''Master Shake''': ''[Lying on Frylock's bed with a pan of strawberries in an attempt to seduce Dusty]'' C'mon in lover.  I'm just in here you know... wearing a mask and tickling myself with an ostrich feather.  ''[Eats a strawberry]'' Oh ho ho.
:'''Repair Man''': ''[Flips light switch off and on]'' Your power's back on. 
:'''Master Shake''': ''[Shocked]''
:'''Repair Man''': Hey. Can I have one of those strawberries?
:'''Master Shake''': No! Get out of here!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Carl''': You're...ah...you're frickin Dusty Gazongas!  I seen your billboard on the interstate there.  You dance out at the Wild Wild Chest.
:'''Meatwad''': No, you thinkin of that girl down at Funbag Junction.  That's Busty Bazookas.
:'''Master Shake''': I think you're talking about Nipple Hut.
:'''Carl''': You're thinking Crotch Town.
:'''Master Shake''': Crotch Town?
:'''Meatwad''': Crotch Town?
:'''Carl''': Yeah, it's near Boob-burg, but Boob-burg....eh, kinda weak.
:'''Dusty Gazongas''': What IS my name?
:'''Meatwad''': You're Dusty Gazongas.
:'''Dusty Gazongas''': That's my name!!! [giggles]

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Meatwad''': I can't believe that you let a silly woman get between you and your friendship.
:'''Frylock''': 'Specially one that doesn't even know who you are.
:'''Master Shake''': It's disgusting, isn't it?  Breaks my heart that I have to sue his ass back to the stone age.
:'''Carl''': I'm right here, Shake!  You wanna go right now?  We'll go right now!
:'''Master Shake''': C'mon, fat boy!
:'''Carl''': Where are ya?
:'''Meatwad''': Whoa, whoa, break it up guys, and listen to me.  Love's a wonderous thing.  But there's more to it than the physical experience, like … like … oh, hell, I dunno, she had some tig-ole-bitties, didn't she?
:'''Frylock''': Yeah, she did.
:'''Carl''': Amen to that.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Dusty Gozongas''': Who are you guys?
:'''Wrench #1''': This pole is malfunctioning ''[Gestures towards stripper's pole]''
:'''Wrench #2''': Yes!
:'''Wrench #1''': Perhaps if you were to dance around it.
:'''Wrench #2''': Yes!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Dusty Gozongas''': Is that Pennsylvania?
:'''Wrench #2''': Yes!

&lt;hr width+&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

===T-Shirt of the Living Dead===
:'''Shake''': Oh, God, how much longer? Egypt is so boring. It doesn't even exist anymore, I mean, you don't hear DMX rap about it!
:'''Meatwad''': I find that this is highly effiligent in edumacationus for my brain, because, I am smart, boy!
:'''Master Shake''': You tell me how this is gonna help you get a high-powered six-figure job. You think they ask Tom Cruise this stuff before he signs on his movies? No one has to know this, ever!
:'''Frylock''': Shake, just go back to the gift-shop and let Meatwad and I enjoy the exhibit, okay?
:'''Master Shake''': You need me here! I am a strong counterpoint to the headphones!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Meatwad''': I think we're having a communication breakdown here, because you keep saying &quot;plague of snakes&quot;, and all I hear is &quot;Easter bunny, Easter bunny, Easter bunny&quot;.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shake disguises himself as a thief to take the T shirt without going to jail]''
:'''Meatwad''': Man, You're thinking of stealing that shirt, don't you?
:'''Shake''': Yeah, think about it. Yes. Now take the form of a hammer!
:''[Shake takes the shirt, and leaves Meatwad as a hammer. Guards pile on Meatwad.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
''[Santa is going outside the Aqua Teen's house to investigate a loud sound]''
:'''Santa Claus''': Ho ho ho. What is going on out here?
''[Giant monster Easter egg is standing outside Carl's house roaring loudly]''
:'''Santa Claus''': Why it's a big ol' happy easter e- ''[Easter Egg breathes fire on Santa]'' Oh God!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Shake''': [singing] Oh-hh my Go-od, I-I'm the boringest guy in the world!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Giant Easter eggs have destroyed Carl's house.]''
:'''Carl''': Hey, make sure my house is completely crushed if you could.
: '''Meatwad''': It's okay, they're in love. Hey, where you goin'?
: '''Carl''': What're you doing? You missed my car! ''[Destroying his own car]'' Help me out with this!


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Santa Claus''': It's the middle of fucking July! I was sleeping!
:'''Meatwad''': Well, uh...
:'''Santa Claus''': Those faggoty elves don't even come in 'til September!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Santa Claus''': Thank you, Frylock. If I survive...I'm gonna beat the fuck outta that little meatball!
:'''Frylock''': Look, Santa, I am so sorry. Meatwad just got a little carried away, that's all.
:'''Santa Claus''': He got a lot carried away. You know that remote controlled race car he wants? Oh yeah, he's gonna get it...FAR UP HIS ASS!!
:'''Frylock''': Whoa, whoa whoa. Calm down, now Santa.
:'''Santa Claus''': We might see if the reindeer like meat this year!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
''[The Aqua Teens are helping Santa deliver his toys]''
:'''Santa Claus''': I can't see too well with the soccer ball lids...
:'''Frylock''': It's okay.
:'''Santa Claus''': ...I believe this is Jeffy's house, and if I remember correctly...he wants a wooden train.
:'''Frylock''': Great! Did you hear that Meatwad?
:'''Meatwad''': All right, Jeffy's getting his very own...
''[He creates a wooden brain]''
:'''Meatwad''': Wooden brain.
:'''Frylock''': Train, you idiot! Train!
:'''Meatwad''': Don't you talk ugly to me! I'll send ya to the moon with my magic shirt.
:'''Frylock''': [resigned] Yeah, I know, Master.
:'''Meatwad''': Jeffy's just gonna have to bite the bullet on this one. Because it has been a long night, and we ain't even done the eastern seaboard yet.
:'''Santa Claus''': Just give it to him, he's...not a, not a bright child.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Shake''': Master, can I ask a question? You said we'd be trading off at some point. Is that close?
:'''Meatwad''': We gonna finish up America, then we do Europe, then you knock out the Middle East yourself.
:'''Shake''': Fuck you!
:'''Meatwad''': Cry me a river, bitch!

&lt;hr width+&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

===Hypnogerm===
:'''Basketball''': Time? (laughs) Time is an illusion. The only time is party time, are we clear?
:'''Wall''':Yeah I'm the basketball.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Meatwad''': So what...what kind of germs he got there?
:'''Frylock''': Hypno-germs, Meatwad. Their only interest is to control your mind.
:'''Meatwad''': Oh thats right, and I'm an asshole for asking.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Shake''': Thank you! You sir, you've got a nice young lady with you! What's your name?
:'''Phil''': Phil Cabinet.
:'''Shake''': You precious little thing, where ya from, Phil?
:'''Phil''': We're from...Kill Yourself!
:'''Shake''': Alright, Phil from Kill Yourself! And who's this with you? [''growls seductively'']
:'''Phil''': This is my six-month-old, and her name is Wear a Hat Made Out of Foil. This is my wife, Lock Yourself in a Cold Dark Room.
:'''Lock''': Hi.
:'''Shake''': And how long have you two lovely people been married?
:'''Lock''': Oh, about smear yourself with garbage and try to cross the freeway.
:'''Phil''': We just celebrated our eat your own dung.
:'''Shake''': Great to hear, yummy too! [''laughter''] Hey, Phil, thanks for comin' out. Like the shirt, both of you, you match!
[''Tommy gun fire and screaming resonate through the theater'']
:'''Shake''': Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for Tulip Sniper!
:'''Tulip Sniper''': Thank you, thank you very much! Die! [''fires another burst''] Die, all of you.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Master Shake''': All right! All right! Will everybody settle down please? We're not deaf! Okay.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Shake''': Tell him I've never been to Branson.
:'''Filing Cabinet''': He's never been there!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Meatwad''': Okay, uh, I got a two-part question here.  One, what's he doin'?  Two, should we light him on fire?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator''': And the princess turned into the Incredible Hulk.  But not the Marvel Comics Incredible Hulk.  A completely different Hulk, that we made up.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bean Wizard''': I can't raise him from the dead, if he's been shot in the head.  My powers are limit...ed.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Germ Master''': Bean and germ must never mate.  It is written on this grape.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Pancho''': Brains!  Ay qué delicioso!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator''': Poncho and the Princess would never meet again, for a few weeks later Poncho met a younger, more illegal bean who wasn't in prison. And she bore him many children... and sued his ass for custody of them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Germ Master''': Take her to the epiglottis!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Master Shake''': That is a lie and you are liar for saying that. I've never been to Branson in my life.
:'''Frylock''': Don't tell me you don't remember that. It was just last week!
:'''Meatwad''': Yeah, you ate that batch of bad ribs after the Gatlin Brothers concert and made Frylock blow the door off that truckstop bathroom because you said you couldn't wait for the bathroom key, squeezin' your butt cheeks together tryin' to keep it in.
:'''Master Shake''': I don't even know Charles Branson. Someone's losin' their mind, Jack, 'cause that never happened. ''[pointing to Meatwad]'' He's already lost his. ''[looking at Frylock]'' I'm lookin' at you, big boy.


&lt;hr width+&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

===Carl===
:''[Carl stares at unreadable writing scrawled all over the side of his house]''
:'''Carl''': Oh ohohohoh, super.
:'''Meatwad's Voice''': Dear Carl, thank you in advance for feeding my dolls while we out in Panama City scaring up venture capital money for my stand-up comedy tour ''Meatwad Unplugged: No Buns Allowed''. And also… we also gettin' a tan. Now remember Dewey and Vanessa won't eat anything but chicken chow mein noodles, and you know Boxy, he eat anything as long as it's deep fried. They need to be walked twice a day, and be sure pick up their doll droppings; you get a fine from the city. Thanks again. Sorry about the house big guy. Sincerely, Meatwad.
:'''Carl''': All right. What the fuck does this say?
:''[phone rings]''
:'''Carl''': What?!
:'''Meatwad''': Did you find my note?
:'''Carl''': Oh, was that you, yeah?  Thanks for, uh, etchin' it into the side of my house.
:'''Meatwad''': Is you mad?  You ain't mad are ya?
:'''Carl''': Yeah, while we're talkin', you wanna tell me what it frickin' says?
:'''Meatwad''': What what says.
:'''Carl''': The note.
:'''Meatwad''': What note?
:'''Carl''': The one on the side of my house!
:'''Meatwad''': Oh, that yeah, well, I don't remember.
:'''Carl''': Of course.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Delivery Man''': It's, uh, $7.92.
:'''Carl''': Yeah, here's eight dollars, and, uh, keep it.
:'''Delivery Man''': All of it?  I don't know if the bank will take all this.
:'''Carl''': Hey, man, the night's young.  Knock off for a bit.  Let's party!
:'''Delivery Man''': Oh, no thanks.  This is gonna take me all night to count.
:'''Carl''': Hey, don't be so uptight, man.  I got a pool in the back, I got beer on ice and, uh…
:''[The delivery man drives away.]''
:'''Carl''': I'm callin' your supervisor, asshole!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Carl''': All right, that's the last of the W's. There's a Z left but uh... oh. Yeah, that unibrow. Ah, screw it. Look up 'Zambrano'. Normally I wouldn't do a fat chick from the flag corps, but uh...it is a new era!...of loneliness. Oh God.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Rudy kills Stacy with a laser.]''
:'''Rudy''': Intruder alert. Intruder alert. She was robbing you. Was she robbing you?
:'''Frylock''': Of what?!?! My virginity?!?! No, not anymore. I don't think so…
:'''Bar Owner''': ''[flickering lights on and off]'' Go home!!!
:'''Frylock''': …and I… I'm not a virgin. Uh… I never was. I mean I was. But I… I… Just get the fuck out of here!!!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Master Shake and Meatwad play wing men as Frylock talks to Stacie]''
:'''Amber''': ''[eating]'' This is good.
:'''Master Shake''': You're pouring them down your throat! Ya know, if you chewed 'em it would make them a little more enjoyable. Look at you, you don't care.
:'''Meatwad''': Come on, Shake. Frylock's tryin' to get him some down there. Be a good wing man.
:'''Master Shake''': I would, but she won't let me have any. I'm afraid to get my hands by the plate. She might suck 'em down.


&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Meatwad''': Guess who's baaaack!!! Come on everybody, group hug! Boxy, what's wrong?
:'''Boxy Brown''': Don't you ever leave me with that fool again! I'll slit you up the middle!!!
:'''Meatwad''': Okay, Boxy…
:'''Boxy Brown''': Okay, nothing— motherfucker did not feed us!!!
:'''Meatwad''': I… I will… I will know better next time.
:'''Boxy Brown''': He peed on me, bitch!
:'''Meatwad''': Frylock, get him off me, please!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After Rudy shoots Carl with lasers]''
:'''Rudy''': He was robbing you! Was he trying to rob you?!
:'''Frylock''': No Rudy! He wasn't tryin' to rob us.
:'''Meatwad''': Where is my wal- ''(points to Master Shake)'' He took my wallet!
:'''Master Shake''': I got the what now? ''(Rudy shoots Shake with lasers)'' AAAHH!

== External links ==	 
{{wikipedia|Aqua Teen Hunger Force (season 3)|Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 3)}}	 
* [http://video.adultswim.com/aqua-teen-hunger-force/ ''Aqua Teen Hunger Force''] at Adult Swim
* {{imdb title||Aqua Teen Hunger Force}}	 

[[Category:Aqua Teen Hunger Force seasons]]

{| class=&quot;wikitable&quot; border=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;width:100%; text-align: center;&quot;
| width=&quot;30%&quot; | Preceded by&lt;br&gt;'''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 2)|Season 2]]'''
| width=&quot;30%&quot; | '''''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' [[w:List of Aqua Teen Hunger Force episodes|seasons]]'''
| width=&quot;30%&quot; | Succeeded by&lt;br&gt;'''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 4)|Season 4]]'''
|}
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  <page>
    <title>Anatoly Kudryavitsky</title>
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      <text bytes="2542" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Akudryavitsky.jpg|thumb|Anatoly Kudryavitsky in 1990]]

'''[[w:Anatoly Kudryavitsky|Anatoly Kudryavitsky]]''' (born [[17 August]] [[1954]]) is a Russian/Irish poet, novelist, translator. He writes mainly in English and Russian.

==Poems==

=== Shadow of Time (2005) ===

* When you kill wolves &lt;br /&gt; people die.


* What shall we do &lt;br /&gt; after we learn what we'll do: &lt;br /&gt; that is the question.


* Europe is shrinking, but America &lt;br /&gt; is broadening.


* The bigger the house, &lt;br /&gt; the smaller the occupants.


* Polluters of void.


* &quot;Women don't survive here,&quot; &lt;br /&gt; a woman of eighty said.


* ...nothing else left but &lt;br /&gt; to watch eternity &lt;br /&gt; breaking up &lt;br /&gt; into human splinters.


* The century has started with &lt;br /&gt; the crime of the century.


* Leviathan learning to overcome time


* The knack of living — &lt;br /&gt; how skilfully it kills!


* ...letters of a burning book &lt;br /&gt; dance in flame not every time &lt;br /&gt; and not every time literally.


* Once a century &lt;br /&gt; the world is divided &lt;br /&gt; into before and after.


* 'Sorry, we gave you &lt;br /&gt; a wrong life,' they said &lt;br /&gt; not too apologetically. &lt;br /&gt; 'Will you begin anew?'


* Caliban fights the Taliban


=== Morning at Mount Ring (2007) ===

:summer night — &lt;br /&gt; blossoming in the pond, &lt;br /&gt; water-lilies and stars 

:a leaflet about &lt;br /&gt; behaviour on the streets — &lt;br /&gt; the wind feels it all over 

:autumn wind... &lt;br /&gt; I yearn for the place &lt;br /&gt; from where it blows 

:bamboo stems — &lt;br /&gt; their memories &lt;br /&gt; of the sun

:icy beach &lt;br /&gt; a child treads upon &lt;br /&gt; broken bits of seashells 

:murmuring surge &lt;br /&gt; mussel shells &lt;br /&gt; slightly open 

:hazel catkins &lt;br /&gt; in the mizzling rain... &lt;br /&gt; a long, long dream 

:autumn storm &lt;br /&gt; a cormorant sits &lt;br /&gt; on the throne of winds  

:river mist &lt;br /&gt; barges transport coal &lt;br /&gt; in both directions

:autumn dusk &lt;br /&gt; a cat rubs its shadow &lt;br /&gt; against fishermen's legs 


== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://web.archive.org/20070625173856/uk.geocities.com/akudryavitsky/poems.htm Poems by Anatoly Kudryavitsky]
* [http://web.archive.org/20080518231459/uk.geocities.com/akudryavitsky/haiku.htm His haiku]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Kudryavitsky, Anatoly}}
[[Category:Irish poets]]
[[Category:Russian poets]]
[[Category:Magic realism authors]]
[[Category:Irish novelists]]
[[Category:Translators]]
[[Category:1954 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Russian novelists]]
[[Category:People from Moscow]]
[[Category:Surrealist poets]]</text>
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    <title>Jerry Coyne</title>
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      <text bytes="64420" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Jerry_Coyne,_American_professor_of_biology_at_the_University_of_Chicago.jpg|thumb|right|The battle for evolution seems never-ending. And the battle is part of a wider war, a war between rationality and superstition.]]
'''[[w:Jerry Coyne|Jerry Allen Coyne]]''' (born [[December 30]], [[1949]]) is an American [[biologist]], known for his work on [[w:speciation|speciation]] and his commentary on [[intelligent design]]. A prolific scientist and author, he has published dozens of papers elucidating the theory of [[evolution]]. He is currently a professor emeritus at the [[w:University of Chicago|University of Chicago]] in the Department of Ecology and Evolution.

==Quotes==
* In [[religion]], faith is a virtue. In [[science]], faith is a vice.
** Coyne (2011) &quot;[http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/for-the-love-of-god-scientists-in-uproar-at-1631m-religion-prize-2264181.html For the love of God... scientists in uproar at £1m religion prize]&quot; on independent.co.uk, April 6, 2011

* Theology is the ''post hoc'' rationalization of what you want to believe.
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2012/06/04/quote-of-the-week-william-james-on-theology/ Quote of the week: William James on theology]&quot; June 4, 2012

* The fact that both Jews and Christians ignore some of God’s or Jesus’s commands, but scrupulously obey others, is absolute proof that people pick and choose their morality not on the basis of its divine source, but because it comports with some innate morality that they derived from other sources.
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2012/06/26/biblical-morality-part-2-killing-non-virgin-brides-and-rebellious-kids/ Biblical morality part 2: Killing non-virgin brides and rebellious kids]&quot; June 26, 2012

* It takes a profound hypocrisy to try to reconcile for others things that you can’t reconcile for yourself.
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2012/07/29/the-disingenuous-professor-ruse/ The disingenuous Professor Ruse]&quot; July 29, 2012

* No reputable theologian, or rational believer for that matter, adheres strictly to Biblical morality. As everyone knows, believers pick and choose their morality from a smorgasbord of divine commands, both good and bad, in scripture. And doing that shows that you have a sense of right and wrong that doesn’t come from the Bible or God. Ergo, it comes from evolution and culture.
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2012/08/07/where-does-morality-come-from-a-demonstration-with-monkeys/ Where does morality come from? A demonstration with monkeys]&quot; August 7, 2012

* Religion may be a quest for the truth, but it has no way of finding the truth, or verifying what it claims to find. Our knowledge of what God is like has not advanced one iota over the ideas of the 1500s.&lt;br&gt;And insofar as theological interpretation has changed, it’s done so not as a result of faith’s quest for truth, but of pressure from science and secular morality. Really, can any theologian, philosopher, or scientist tell me anything about God now that we didn’t know 500 years ago? Then ask a scientist what we know now about science that we didn’t know in 1500.
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2012/08/11/do-both-science-and-faith-produce-truth/ Do both science and faith produce truth?]&quot; August 11, 2012

* Come on, readers, give me one example of a question that religion has answered to everyone’s satisfaction—one example of a “truth” found in religion’s quest for truth.
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2012/08/11/do-both-science-and-faith-produce-truth/ Do both science and faith produce truth?]&quot; August 11, 2012

* But this (a listing of illustrations of how the genome can change other than by mutations) doesn’t constitute a crisis—it’s a very interesting finding that shows that variation in a genome can arise by processes other than mutation of an organism’s own DNA. The disposition of that variation still must occur via either natural selection (it can be good or bad) or genetic drift (no effect on fitness). This hasn’t really changed the theory of evolution one iota, though it’s changed our view of where organisms can acquire new genes.
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2012/09/07/another-philosopher-proclaims-a-nonexistent-crisis-in-evolutionary-biology/ Another philosopher proclaims a nonexistent “crisis” in evolutionary biology]&quot; September 7, 2012

* Damn, but science is just a constant feed of cool new facts and theories. Theology doesn’t come close.
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2012/09/17/a-huge-water-geyser-on-saturns-moon-helps-make-the-rings-and-a-bonus-eclipse-from-mars/ A huge water geyser on Saturn’s moon helps make the rings, and a bonus eclipse from Mars]&quot; September 17, 2012

* I am SO tired of this trope. It may indeed be the case that we can’t justify ''a priori'' via philosophical lucubrations that we arrive at the truth about nature only by using the methods of science. My answer to that is increasingly becoming, “So bloody what?” The use of science is justified ''because it works, not because we can justify it philosophically.'' If we are interested in finding out what causes malaria, no amount of appeal to a deity, philosophical rumination, listening to music, reading novels, or waiting for a revelation will answer that question. We have to use scientific methods, which, of course, is how causes of disease are found.
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2012/10/02/a-belated-reply-from-francis-spufford-who-defends-his-faith/ A belated reply from Francis Spufford, who defends his faith]&quot; October 2, 2012

* Why, exactly, are scientists supposed to accord “respect” to a bunch of ancient fables that are not only ludicrous on their face, but motivate so much opposition to science?
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2012/11/28/nicholas-wades-ridiculous-prescription-for-curing-creationism/ Nicholas Wade’s ridiculous prescription for curing creationism]&quot; November 28, 2012

* Theodicy is the Achilles Heel of faith. There is no reasonable answer to the problem of gratuitous evil (i.e., the slaughter of children or mass killings by natural phenomena like tsunamis), and the will to continue believing in the face of such things truly shows the folly of faith. For those evils prove absolutely either that God is not benevolent and omnipotent, or that there is no god. (Special pleading like “we don’t know God’s mind” doesn’t wash, for the same people who say such things also claim to know that God is benevolent and omnipotent). Both nonbelief or belief in a malicious or uncaring God are unacceptable to the goddy. Ergo, any rational person who contemplates gratuitous evil must become an agnostic, an atheist, or someone who rejects the Abrahamic God. It is a touchstone of rationality.
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2012/12/26/the-christmas-nyt-faith-everywhere/ The Christmas ''NYT:'' faith everywhere]&quot; December 26, 2012

* Faith is a padlock of the mind, and few keys can open it.
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2013/01/30/don-mcleroy-leaves-creationist-comment-evolution-cant-explain-biochemical-complexity/ Don McLeroy leaves creationist comment: evolution can’t explain “biochemical complexity”]&quot; January 30, 2013

* In the end theologians are jealous of science, for they are aware that it has greater authority than do their own ways of finding “truth”: dogma, authority, and revelation. Science does find truth, faith does not.
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2013/02/09/william-lane-craig-defends-his-ridiculous-claim-that-animals-dont-suffer/ William Lane Craig defends his ridiculous claim that animals don’t suffer]&quot; February 9, 2013

* No, we don’t have faith in reason and science in the same way as “Cru” members have faith in God. I see “faith” according to Walter Kaufmann’s definition: strong belief in propositions for which there is insufficient evidence to command the assent of every reasonable person. We have confidence in science because it has led us to provisional truths—it works. Cru doesn’t even know if there’s any God, or, if there is a divine presence, that it’s the Abrahamic god rather than the Hindu god, Yahweh, or Wotan. And we use reason in the same way: it leads us to truth. Revelation, dogma, and authority do not, for if they did there would be only one religion rather than thousands with their disparate and often conflicting doctrines.
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2013/02/10/religion-dispatches-on-atheism/ Atheism grows on campus]&quot; February 10, 2013

* Can a geology teacher blithely tell his students that the earth is flat, or a European history professor that the Holocaust didn’t happen? That’s not academic freedom, but dereliction of duty.
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2013/04/29/more-creationism-sneaks-into-public-schools/ More creationism sneaks into public schools]&quot; April 29, 2013

* Some believers are fundamentalists about everything, but every believer is a fundamentalist about something.
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2013/09/03/an-aphorism-for-atheism/ An aphorism for atheism]&quot; September 3, 2013 

* Science has only two things to contribute to religion: an analysis of the evolutionary, cultural, and psychological basis for believing things that aren’t true, and a scientific disproof of some of faith’s claims (e.g., Adam and Eve, the Great Flood). Religion has nothing to contribute to science, and science is best off staying as far away from faith as possible. The “constructive dialogue” between science and faith is, in reality, a destructive monlogue, with science making all the good points, tearing down religion in the process.
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2013/09/23/tania-lombrozo-strokes-the-faithful-at-npr/ Tania Lombrozo strokes the faithful at NPR]&quot; September 23, 2013

* “HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?”&lt;br&gt;That’s the question you should always ask believers when they make unsupported assertions, ranging from “God is loving” to “Our souls live on after death.” The answer will always be one of two things: “The Bible says so,” or “I just ''know'' it to be true.” Neither of those are rational answers, but they satisfy the religious.&lt;br&gt;It is in fact the “how-do-you-know-that” query that really distinguishes New Atheism from Old. While atheists have always decried the lack of evidence for theism, it is the infusion of scientists and science-friendly people into atheism, starting with Carl Sagan and continuing on to Dawkins, Hitchens, Harris, Pinker, and Dennett, that has made us realize that religious dogmas are in fact ''hypotheses,'' and you need reasons and evidence for accepting them. If you have none, then you have no reason to believe in God.&lt;br&gt;Nevertheless, religious dogma does change, but not because theology has found better reasons. It’s because a.) science has shown the dogma to be false (Genesis, Adam and Eve, creation, the Exodus, etc.) or b.) secular morality has shown that the tenets of religious belief are no longer supportable (hell as a place of fire, limbo, discrimination against gays, the Mormons’ refusal to let blacks be priests, etc.)
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2013/12/21/catholic-official-says-that-angels-exist-but-are-wingless/ Catholic official says that angels exist but are wingless]&quot; December 21, 2013

* He is a dissimulator, a back-pedaler, a coward, and a self-serving ignoramus. In other words, he’s a politician.
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2013/12/22/another-billboard-kerfuffle/ Another billboard kerfuffle]&quot; December 22, 2013

* Yes, secularism does propose a physical and purposeless universe, and many (but not all) of us accept the notion that our sense of self is a neuronal illusion.  But although the universe is purposeless, our lives aren’t. This conflation of a purposeless universe (i.e., one not created for a specific reason) with purposeless human lives is a trick that the faithful use to make atheism seem nihilistic and dark. But we make our own purposes, and they’re real. Right now my purpose is to write this piece, and then I’ll work on a book, and later I’ll have dinner with a friend. Soon I’ll go to Poland to visit more friends. Maybe later I’ll read a nice book and learn something. Those are real purposes, not illusory purposes to which Douthat wants us to devote our only life.
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2013/12/23/douthat-on-the-rampage-against-secularism-gets-it-all-wrong/ Douthat on the rampage against secularism, gets it all wrong]&quot; December 23, 2013

* An “intellectual tradition,” as anyone with two neurons to rub together knows, is not the same thing as evidence. But theologians seem to lack that second neuron.
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2014/07/26/believer-michael-robbins-exhibits-marus-syndrome-on-the-dish/ Believer Michael Robbins exhibits Maru’s Syndrome on ''The Dish'']&quot; July 26, 2014

* Since neither Robbins, nor Hart, nor any other Sophisticated Theologian™ or Hipster Poet has produced any evidence for God that would convince someone who wasn’t already a believer or an incipient believer, we needn’t take their claims seriously. The reason people like Robbins sneer at the New Atheists’ call for evidence is because believers don’t have any.
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2014/07/26/believer-michael-robbins-exhibits-marus-syndrome-on-the-dish/ Believer Michael Robbins exhibits Maru’s Syndrome on ''The Dish'']&quot; July 26, 2014

* Anybody who claims that people don’t cherry-pick their morality from the Bible, choosing that which comports with their extra-Biblical notions of what’s good and bad, is simply blind.
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2014/09/13/readers-beefs-of-the-week-3/ Readers’ beefs of the week]&quot; September 13, 2014

* The justification for naturalism is that it works: we have never understood anything about the universe by assuming the supernatural, while assuming naturalism as a working hypothesis has moved our understanding ever forward.
** &quot;[http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2014/10/15/is-atheism-irrational-a-philosopher-says-yes/ Is atheism irrational? A philosopher says “yes”]&quot; October 15, 2014

* Religion claims to help us understand things about the universe, but, unlike science has no way to test or verify its claims. Both science and religion compete to understand reality, but only science has the method to verify its findings, while religion merely buttresses emotional and epistemic commitments made in advance, commitments impervious to evidence.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2015/04/13/jeffrey-tayler-continues-making-salon-friendlier-to-anti-theism/ Jeffrey Tayler continues making Salon friendlier to anti-theism]&quot; April 13, 2015

* Even more than religious belief, acceptance or denial of evolution is a test of character. For if you deny evolution is true, you are either pandering to the public even though you know better (showing that you’re ambitious but lack character), are truly ignorant of the facts (which means you can’t be trusted to be informed about crucial issues), or are a flat-out creationist (showing that you’re batshit crazy).
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2015/05/07/lying-andor-ignorant-republican-candidates-still-refuse-to-accept-evolution/ Lying and/or ignorant Republican candidates still refuse to accept evolution]&quot; May 7, 2015

* Atheism—at least the refusal to accept gods for which there’s no evidence—is a logical outgrowth of science, and explains (at least to me) why, compared to Americans as a whole, scientists are so much more atheistic. If your career depends on establishing your confidence in a phenomenon proportional to the degree of evidence supporting it, then God is a no-go. The climate of doubt that is endemic—and essential—to the scientific enterprise is a true disaster for religion. Religious people know this, and that largely explains the many ways they attack science.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2015/06/13/karl-giberson-is-still-fighting-a-rearguard-battle-against-adam-and-eve/ Karl Giberson is still fighting a rearguard battle against Adam and Eve]&quot; June 13, 2015

* One child dead because of superstition is one too many.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2015/06/26/vaccination-exemption-law-makes-its-way-through-the-california-legislature/ Vaccination-exemption law makes its way through the California legislature]&quot; June 26, 2015

* Postmodernism poisons everything.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2015/08/09/a-book-review-claims-that-there-is-no-conflict-between-science-and-religion-but-for-an-unusual-reason/ A book review claims that there is no conflict between science and religion, but for dumb reasons]&quot; August 9, 2015

* I have to say that I find Ali’s argument truly revolting—not just because it’s intellectually weak and actually deceptive, but because it debases the entire realm of university scholarship of which I’m a member. When I see pieces like hers—lame apologetics that are meant from the outset to reinforce an opinion already held—I thank Ceiling Cat that I am a scientist: a member of the guild in which using your scholarship to reinforce emotional commitments is considered a sin.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2015/08/23/at-last-it-happens-a-professor-blames-isiss-sex-slavery-on-the-west/ At last it happens: a professor blames ISIS’s sex slavery on the West]&quot; August 23, 2015

* After all, by what lights can you see atheism as a “leap of faith”? What is the “faith” there? Failure to accept gods is no more a leap of faith than is doubting the existence of the Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot, or Santa Claus. It’s not “faith” when you refuse to accept a proposition for which there’s no evidence.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2015/10/29/self-abasing-atheist-at-the-guardian-says-that-atheism-is-a-leap-of-faith/ Self-abasing atheist at the Guardian calls atheism is a “leap of faith”]&quot; October 29, 2015

* He is the embodiment of greed, ambition, bigotry, and dislike of the marginalized. Of course, all that means is that he simply instantiates in a clear way the values of the GOP, but they don’t like those being so out in the open! Trump is in fact the very product of what Republicans stand for: he’s a monster they created, but now they don’t like it. They want those values, but expressed ''sotto voce,'' and by a slicker candidate.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2016/03/09/its-going-to-be-a-bizarre-election-year/ It’s going to be a bizarre election year]&quot; March 9, 2016

* Theology schools are the wisdom teeth of academia: useless and sometimes injurious remnants of earlier times. If you want to teach comparative religion in college, you can do it in sociology departments, and if you want to teach the history of religion or of how scripture was confected, you can do it in history departments. There is ''no'' rationale for a modern secular university to teach theology, for it is the study of a nonexistent being and its supposed wants.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2016/03/19/theology-schools-are-dying/ Theology schools are dying]&quot; March 19, 2016

* I’m not sure who’s in charge of “The Stone,” the ''New York Times‘s'' philosophy column, but that person is not doing their job. Imagine if some of our greatest living philosophers would post there about matters diverse: ethics, animal rights, abortion, drone strikes, and so on. But all too often the column is about God; that is, we have Great Minds lucubrating about nonexistent beings. Among all species of philosophy, the philosophy of religion is the most intellectually depauperate. It’s a waste of time.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2016/04/10/didnt-you-know-gods-a-question-not-an-answer/ Didn’t you know: God’s a question, not an answer!]&quot; April 10, 2016

* On the Right we have a bunch of regressive conservatives who demonize minorities and women and have no sympathy for the downtrodden, while on the Left we have regressive Leftists who try to censor people’s speech, take the side of extremist Islamists against women and gays, and shut down disagreement by other Leftists who aren’t pure enough. What is a person to do? The answer, of course, is to call out both sides for regressive behavior.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2016/07/20/more-bigotry-at-britains-national-union-of-students/ More bigotry at Britain’s National Union of Students]&quot; July 20, 2016

* Faith is not a virtue, but a character flaw.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2016/09/14/jesus-n-mo-n-faith-3/ Jesus ‘n’ Mo ‘n’ faith]&quot; September 14, 2016

* To Parker Bright, Hannah Black, and other critics of this painting, I say this:&lt;br&gt;I completely reject your criticism. If only artists of the proper ethnicity can depict violence inflicted on their group, then only writers of the proper ethnicity can ''write'' about the same issues, and so on with ''all'' the arts. And what goes for ethnicity or race goes for gender: men cannot write about suffering inflicted on women, nor women about suffering inflicted on men. Gays cannot write about straight people and vice versa.&lt;br&gt;The fact is that we are all human, and we are all capable of sharing, as well as depicting, the pain and suffering of others.  I will not allow you to fracture art and literature the way you have fractured politics. Yes, horrible injustices have been visited on minority groups, on women, on gays, and on other marginalized people, but to allow that injustice to be conveyed only by “properly ethnic or gendered artists” is to deny us our common humanity and deprive us of emotional solidarity. No group, whatever its pigmentation or chromosomal constitution, has the exclusive right to create art or literature about their own subgroup. To deny others that right is to censor them.&lt;br&gt;To those who say this painting has caused them “unnecessary hurt” because it is by a white artist about black pain, I say, “Your own pain about this artwork is gratuitous; I do not take it seriously. It’s the cry of a coddled child who simply wants attention.”
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2017/04/04/insane-political-correctness-snowflakes-urge-destruction-of-emmett-till-painting/ Insane political correctness: snowflakes urge destruction of Emmett Till painting]&quot; April 4, 2017

* The editorial, very poorly written for a college full of smart students, shows how far this “hate speech” cancer has spread. Let me provide for you Coyne’s Glossary for the words at issue:
::“'''free speech'''”: Speech that you like because it comports with your ideology&lt;br&gt;
::“'''hate speech'''”: Speech you don’t like because it challenges your ideology&lt;br&gt;
::“'''Nazi'''”: Anyone uttering “hate speech” (see above)&lt;br&gt;
::“'''White supremacist'''”: See “Nazi”&lt;br&gt;
::“'''emotional labor'''”: Having to argue your case rationally—something to be avoided at all costs when you can simply call people names (see “Nazi”).
:* &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2017/04/21/latest-news-about-college-shenanigans-by-the-regressive-left-censorship-at-pomona-and-ucla-wellesley-student-paper-writes-we-need-free-speech-but-article/ Latest college shenanigans by the Regressive Left: censorship at Pomona and UCLA; Wellesley student paper publishes “we need free speech but...” editorial]&quot; April 21, 2017

* We needn’t take things like reasoning on faith. We use reason because it works. And science isn’t really based on axioms: it’s not math. It’s based on a method that, refined over time, leads us to widely accepted facts about the universe: the facts that we can rely on to do things like establish the genealogy of species, cure disease, and land probes on comets. You can’t accomplish such things through prayer.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2017/05/03/the-tls-on-plantinga-and-i/ The TLS on Plantinga and me]&quot; May 3, 2017

* Danger! Mushbrains and believers at work!
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2017/10/19/new-mexico-with-input-from-science-and-public-doesnt-water-down-its-science-standards/ New Mexico, with input from science and public, doesn’t water down its science standards]&quot; October 19, 2017

* The realization that God is not the source of morality is, I think, one of the great contributions of philosophy to clarifying human thought.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2017/11/28/does-religion-promote-morality/ Does religion promote morality?]&quot; November 28, 2017

* Remember three things about censorship.  First, it doesn’t work to suppress art or words that you don’t like. Second, trying to censor something just arouses interest in it, as well as resentment towards those who try to tell others what they can or cannot see. Third, exhibiting art or recommending that students read a book does not mean an ''endorsement'' of the image or contents.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2017/12/09/national-coalition-against-censorship-and-pen-defend-mets-showing-of-a-controversial-painting/ National Coalition Against Censorship and PEN defend Met’s showing of a “controversial” painting]&quot; December 9, 2017

* Guilt is the great weapon of the Authoritarian Left, and we must resist it when it comes to endorsing free expression.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2017/12/09/national-coalition-against-censorship-and-pen-defend-mets-showing-of-a-controversial-painting/ National Coalition Against Censorship and PEN defend Met’s showing of a “controversial” painting]&quot; December 9, 2017

* The truth is the truth, regardless of whether it fits your ideological biases.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2017/12/11/in-an-article-on-race-and-medicine-new-york-times-does-its-best-to-ignore-and-denigrate-race/ In an article on race and medicine, New York Times does its best to ignore and denigrate race]&quot; December 11, 2017

* If religion makes a society happier, there’s no data to show that. All we see is that on average countries that are well off are less religious and are happier; and that goes for U.S. states as well. Checkmate, religionists.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2018/03/22/2018-data-across-countries-the-happiest-ones-are-the-least-religious/ 2018 data: Across countries, the happiest ones are the least religious]&quot; March 22, 2018

* If [[w:Stephen Hawking|Hawking]]’s world is “small,” well, at least what he found was testable, and might be true. Father de Souza’s claims are either untestable or have already been shown to be doubtful, and he has no [[w:evidence|evidence]] for any of them. In requiring people to believe fairy tales, de Souza’s world is not just small, but nonexistent.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2018/03/22/catholic-priest-says-that-hawking-while-smart-didnt-solve-the-biggest-questions-of-the-universe/ Catholic priest says that Hawking, while smart, didn’t solve the biggest questions of the universe]&quot; March 22, 2018

* This implicit denigration of objectivity, and of the way science is done, irritates me immensely. It privileges anecdotes over data, “lived experience” over objective tests, and confirmation bias over uncomfortable truths.  But that is the way that many humanities scholars, corrupted by postmodernism, have operated.  Denying or denigrating an objective search for truth, they’re free to say whatever they want, or “discover” whatever they find ideologically convenient.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2018/04/02/feminist-geography-at-dartmouth/ Feminist geography at Dartmouth]&quot; April 2, 2018

* What the comedy club in Montreal is doing is not only ridiculous, but is a prime example of virtue signaling: making a gesture to trumpet your own ideological purity, but a gesture ''that has no effect on society and no mitigation of injustice.''
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2019/01/16/accusations-of-cultural-appropriation-gone-wild-canadian-comedy-club-bars-white-comedian-with-dreadlocks/ Accusations of cultural appropriation gone wild: Canadian comedy club bars white comedian with dreadlocks]&quot; January 16, 2019

* In other words, (Helen) Pluckrose et al. got a lot more attention than I did. And that’s fine. For they did, to my mind, expose a creeping rot in the floorboards of academic humanities, which has becoming increasingly solipsistic, tendentious, propagandistic, and devoid of critical thinking but besotted with intersectionalist ideology.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2019/07/26/the-grievance-studies-hoax-a-forum-at-the-chronicle-of-higher-education/ Campus journalism fracas reaches the New York Times]&quot; July 26, 2019

* There is no compromise possible between catering to woke students and maintaining journalistic standards. We all know that this is true. If you feed the beast, it only gets hungrier, and is never full.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2019/11/14/campus-journalism-fracas-reaches-the-new-york-times/ The “grievance studies” hoax: a forum at the Chronicle of Higher Education]&quot; November 14, 2019

* “Safety” and “harm” have become the new buzzwords to use when somebody does something you don’t like.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2019/11/21/harvard-students-demonstrate-at-the-crimsons-building-continuing-to-protest-the-newspapers-asking-ice-for-a-comment/ Harvard students demonstrate at the Crimson’s building, continuing to protest the newspaper’s asking ICE for a comment]&quot; November 21, 2019

* Everyone else besides the faithful already knows that religion has nothing useful to say to science.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2019/11/29/science-versus-religion-are-they-gifts-to-each-other/ Science versus religion: Are they “gifts” to each other?]&quot; November 29, 2019

* As we know, wokeness prizes ideology and narrative over truth.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2020/02/04/gwyneth-paltrow-and-her-other-ways-of-knowing-touted-in-the-nyt/ The New York Times touts Gwyneth Paltrow and “her other ways of knowing”]&quot; November 29, 2019

* Yes, the claim that sex in humans is not a binary is pretty much a lie, and is made on ideological rather than scientific grounds.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2020/02/14/a-defense-of-the-binary-in-human-sex/ A defense of the binary in human sex]&quot; February 14, 2020

* This will not abate: wokeness is a one-way ratchet to pure authoritarianism.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.com/2020/06/25/you-are-not-your-name-the-even-more-woke-new-york-times-ponders-identity-erasure/ You are not your name: The Even More Woke New York Times ponders identity erasure]&quot; June 25, 2020

* The Woke are after [[w:Steven Pinker|Pinker]] again, and if he’s called a racist and misogynist, as he is in this latest attempt to demonize him, then ''nobody'' is safe. After all, Pinker is a liberal Democrat who’s donated a lot of dosh to the Democratic Party, and relentlessly preaches a message of moral, material, and “well-being” progress that’s been attained through reason and adherence to Enlightenment values. But that sermon alone is enough to render him an Unperson, for the Woke prize narrative and “lived experience” over data, denigrate reason, and absolutely despise the Enlightenment.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.com/2020/07/05/the-purity-posse-pursues-pinker/ The Purity Posse pursues Pinker]&quot; July 5, 2020

* The GOP, with 100+ of its Congresspeople joining the crazy Texas lawsuit trying to overturn the election, has become a swarming beehive of truthers, conspiracy theorists, and, of course, gun nuts.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.com/2020/12/12/andrew-sullivan-implies-that-the-resurrection-probably-didnt-happen-and-then-describes-christianism-as-a-big-threat-to-america/ Andrew Sullivan implies that the Resurrection probably didn’t happen, and then describes “Christianism” as a big threat to America]&quot; December 12, 2020

* Christianity, and religion in general, is dying in America. (The exceptions are an increase in Islam, probably due to immigration, and in Buddhism, a basically godless religion.) The decline is due largely to a loss of faith among young people, as we’ve seen several times before. Religion wanes one corpse at a time.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.com/2021/07/18/christianity-and-religion-in-general-are-dying-in-america-especially-among-hispanics/ Christianity and religion in general are dying in America, especially among Hispanics]&quot; July 18, 2021

* Isn’t it time for us to stop taking this nonsense seriously? I regard [[w:Panpsychism|panpsychists]] as I regard theologians: they both make stuff up, none of what they say is testable, and they both actually get paid to foist nonsense on the world.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.com/2021/11/19/panpsychism-again/ Panpsychism again?]&quot; November 19, 2021

* If “wokeness” is in some sense equivalent to “making useless performative gestures that at the same time show what a good person you are,” then land acknowledgments are its apogee. They are performances not for Native Americans, but for others who were also complicit in the theft.&lt;br&gt;Put up or shut up. And if you really think you’re responsible for stealing land, give it back—or pay for it.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.com/2022/05/22/the-on-being-project-is-located-on-dakota-land/ “The On Being Project is located on Dakota Land”]&quot; May 22, 2022

* Religion and xenophobia go together like hot dogs and mustard.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.com/2022/06/17/two-stray-and-unpublished-comments/ Two stray and unpublished comments]&quot; June 17, 2022

* But grifters gotta grift, so we’ll always have tarot, psychics, and other scammers.
** &quot;[https://whyevolutionistrue.com/2022/08/25/pbs-touts-tarot/ PBS touts tarot]&quot; August 25, 2022

=== ''Why Evolution is True'' (2009) ===
:&lt;small&gt;{{cite book
  | title = Why Evolution is True
  | year = 2009
  | location = New York
  | publisher = Viking
  | isbn = 9780670020539
  | id = {{LCC|QH366.2.C74}}
  | lccn = 2008033973
}}&lt;/small&gt;

* The battle for evolution seems never-ending. And the battle is part of a wider war, a war between rationality and superstition.
** p. xiii

* This book lays out the main lines of evidence for evolution. For those who oppose Darwinism purely as a matter of faith, no amount of evidence will do—theirs is a belief not based on reason.
** p. xiv

* It’s clear that this resistance stems largely from religion. You can find religions without creationism, but you never find creationism without religion.
** p. xvii

* We humans have many vestigial features proving that we evolved. The most famous is the appendix.
** p. 60

* Tiny, nonfunctional wings, a dangerous appendix, eyes that can’t see, and silly ear muscles simply don’t make sense if you think that species were specially created.
** p. 64

* The biogeographic evidence for evolution is now so powerful that I have never seen a creationist book, article, or lecture that has tried to refute it. Creationists simply pretend that the evidence doesn’t exist.
** p. 88

* We now have many of the answers that once eluded Darwin, thanks to two developments that he could not have imagined: continental drift and molecular taxonomy.
** p. 90

* If you can’t think of an observation that could disprove a theory, that theory simply isn’t scientific.
** p. 138

* If the history of science teaches us anything, it is that what conquers our ignorance is research, not giving up and attributing our ignorance to the miraculous work of a creator.
** p. 140

* Because of the hegemony of fundamentalist religion in the United States, this country has been among the most resistant to the fact of human evolution.
** p. 192

* Now, science cannot completely exclude the possibility of supernatural explanation. It is possible—though very unlikely—that our whole world is controlled by elves. But supernatural explanations like these are simply never needed; we manage to understand the natural world just fine using reason and materialism.
** pp. 224-225

* Evolution tells us where we came from, not where we can go.
** p. 231

* A well-understood and ''testable'' hypothesis like sexual selection surely trumps an untestable appeal to the inscrutable caprices of a creator.
** p. 240

=== ''Faith vs. Fact'' (2015) ===
:&lt;small&gt;{{cite book
  | title = Faith vs. Fact
  | year = 2015
  | location = New York
  | publisher = Viking
  | isbn = 9780670026531
  | id = {{LCC|BL240.3.C69}}
  | lccn = 2015001103
}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Although this book deals with the conflict between religion and science, I see this as only one battle in a wider war—a war between rationality and superstition. Religion is but a single brand of superstition (others include beliefs in astrology, paranormal phenomena, homeopathy, and spiritual healing), but it is the most widespread and harmful form of superstition. And science is but one form of rationality (philosophy and mathematics are others), but it is a highly developed form, and the only one capable of describing and understanding reality.
** p. xii

* It didn’t take long to realize the futility of using evidence to sell evolution to Americans, for faith led them to discount and reject the facts right before their noses.
** p. xiv

* I was flabbergasted. How could it be that someone found evidence convincing but ''was still not convinced?'' The answer, of course, was that his religion had immunized him against my evidence.
** p. xv

* Science and religion, then, are competitors in the business of finding out what is true about our universe. In this goal religion has failed miserably, for its tools for discerning “truth” are useless. These areas are incompatible in precisely the same way, and in the same sense, that rationality is incompatible with irrationality.
** p. xvi

* Understanding reality, in the sense of being able to use what we know to predict what we don’t, is best achieved using the tools of science, and is never achieved using the methods of faith. That is attested by the acknowledged success of science in telling us about everything from the smallest bits of matter to the origin of the universe itself—compared with the abject failure of religion to tell us anything about gods, including whether they exist.
** p. xx

* One can meet all the emotional requisites of a human—except for the assurance that you’ll find a life after death—without the superstitions of religion.
** p. xxi

* I will have achieved my aim if, by the end of this book, you demand that people produce good reasons for what they believe—not only in religion, but in any area in which evidence can be brought to bear. I’ll have achieved my aim when people devote as much effort to choosing a system of belief as they do to choosing their doctor. I’ll have achieved my aim If the public stops awarding special authority about the universe and the human condition to preachers, imams, and clerics simply because they are religious figures. And above all, I’ll have achieved my aim if, when you hear someone described as a “person of faith,” you see it as criticism rather than praise.
** p. xxii

* If religion and science get along so well, why are so many scientists nonbelievers?
** p. 12

* Ironically, as the credibility of creationists grows smaller, their voices get louder.
** p. 15

* After all, what new insights has religion produced in the last century?
** p. 17

* I could go on, but the point is clear: religions make explicit claims about reality—about what exists and happens in the universe. These claims involve the existence of gods, the number of such gods (polytheism or monotheism), their character and behavior (usually loving and beneficent, but, in the case of Hindu and ancient Greek gods, sometimes mischievous or malevolent), how they interact with the world, whether or not there are souls or life after death, and, above all, how the deities wish us to behave—their moral code.&lt;br&gt;These are empirical claims, and although some may be hard to test, they must, like all claims about reality, be defended with a combination of evidence and reason. If we find no credible evidence, no good reasons to believe, then those claims should be disregarded, just as most of us ignore claims about ESP, astrology, and alien abduction. After all, beliefs important enough to affect you for eternity surely deserve the closest scrutiny.
** p. 23

* The rational scrutiny of religious faith involves asking believers only two questions:&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;''How do you know that?''&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;''What makes you so sure that the claims of your faith are right and the claims of other faiths are wrong?''
** p. 25

* Any “knowledge” incapable of being revised with advances in data and human thinking does not deserve the name of knowledge.
** p. 28

* “The interest I have in believing in something is not a proof that the something exists.”
** p. 29 (quoting [[Voltaire]])

* Religion is heavily laden with the kind of confirmation bias that makes people see their own faiths as true and all others as false. In other words, religion is replete with features to ''help'' people fool themselves.
** p. 29

* In other words, truth is simply what ''is:'' what exists in reality and can be verified by rational and independent observers.
** p. 29

* “What distinguishes knowledge is not certainty but evidence.”
** p. 30 (quoting [[Walter Kaufmann (philosopher)|Walter Kaufmann]])

* Claims of supernatural phenomena like the efficacy of prayer are rendered unfalsifiable by the assertion that “God will not be tested.” (Of course, if the tests had been successful, then testing God would have been fine!)
** p. 34

* In the end, a theory that can’t be shown to be wrong can never be shown to be right.
** p. 34

* Living with uncertainty is hard for many people, and is one of the reasons why people prefer religious truths that are presented as absolute.
** p. 37

* Although scientists come in all faiths, including no faith at all, there is no Hindu science, no Muslim science, and no Jewish science. There is only science, combining brainpower from the whole world to produce one accepted body of knowledge. In contrast, there are thousands of religions, most differing profoundly in what they see as “true.”
** p. 39

* These (i. e., the statements of the Nicene Creed) are all empirical statements about reality: they are either true or false, even if some are hard to investigate.&lt;br&gt;These claims, of course, absolutely conflict with those of other faiths. Jews, Muslims, Hindus, and Sikhs don’t recognize Jesus as the Messiah. Muslims believe that those who do so will spend eternity in hell. Doesn’t choosing among such faiths require a way to evaluate whether this dogma is true?
** p. 51

* You can find some religions without creationism, but you can’t find creationism without religion.
** p. 61

* The question to ask believers is this: “Does it really matter whether what you believe about God is true—or don’t you care?” If it does matter, then you must justify your beliefs; if it doesn’t, then you must justify belief itself.
** p. 63

* My claim is this: science and religion are incompatible because they have different methods for getting knowledge about reality, have different ways of assessing the reliability of that knowledge, and, in the end, arrive at conflicting conclusions about the universe. “Knowledge” acquired by religion is at odds not only with scientific knowledge, but also with knowledge professed by other religions. In the end, religion’s methods, unlike those of science, are useless for understanding reality.
** p. 64

* In the end, religious investigations of “truth,” unlike those of science, are deeply dependent on confirmation bias. You start with what you were taught to believe, or what you want to believe, and then accept only those facts that support your prejudices. This is the basis for the theological practice of “apologetics,” designed to defend religion against counterarguments and disconfirming evidence....In contrast, science has no apologetics, for we test our conclusions by ''trying'' to find counterevidence.
** pp. 66-67

* The most important component of the incompatibility between science and religion is religion’s dependence on faith.
** p. 67

* Theologians intensely dislike the definition of faith as belief without—or in the face of—evidence, for that practice sounds irrational. But it surely is, as is any system that requires supporting a priori beliefs without good evidence. In religion, but not science, that kind of faith is seen as a virtue.
** p. 67

* “Blasphemy” and “heresy” are terms of religion, not science.
** p. 70

* In fact, changes like the elimination of limbo don’t come from new information, but from secular currents in society that make church dogma seem insupportable or even barbaric.
** p. 71

* Just as many churches don’t want to be seen as rejecting science, neither do they wish to lag too far behind public morality, and so they often tweak their religious “truths” to reflect the zeitgeist.
** p. 71

* But all that changed when Darwin explained those designlike features by natural selection. The best evidence for God simply vanished.
** p. 78

* One can’t read a great deal of theology without appreciating the mental dexterity of its practitioners when faced with hard problems. And as a scientist, I regret how much more we’d understand about nature had that dexterity been applied to science instead, or to any field involved in studying what’s real.
** pp. 78-79

* Most of the world’s believers reject these claims (i. e., of Scientology, Mormonism, and Christian Science) as blatantly false. But that’s only because these three religions are fairly new. They were founded in the last two centuries, and we see their origin not as divine but as obvious fabrications of humans—in the case of Joseph Smith, of a con man. But if you look with equally critical eyes at the doctrines of older faiths, their tenets seem equally bizarre.
** p. 83

* To a very large extent, which religion you accept and which you reject are accidents of birth. And after you’ve been religious for years, and surrounded by those who believe likewise, you become emotionally invested in your faith’s truth. This makes you more susceptible to confirmation bias and less likely to be skeptical about your beliefs.
** pp. 83-84

* The different claims among these faiths have consequences, for they’ve produce endless misery over the course of history....Clearly, religions aren’t incompatible only with science: they’re incompatible with one another....This farrago of conflicting and irresolvable claims about reality stands in stark contrast to science.
** pp. 85-86

* What I am saying is two things. First, religion hasn’t obviously come closer to understanding the divine....I also claim that insofar as theology or religious beliefs ''do'' change within a faith, those changes are driven largely by either science or changes in secular culture....Religious morality, at least as promulgated by priests, rabbis, imams, and theologians, is usually one step behind secular morality.
** pp. 87-88

* The methodological conflicts between science and religion cannot be brokered, for faith has no reliable way to find truth.
** p. 89

* Our reliance on naturalism, then, is not an assumption decided in advance, but a result of experience—the experience of men like Darwin and Laplace who found that the only way forward was to posit natural rather than supernatural explanations. Because of this success, and the recurrent failure of supernaturalism to explain anything about the universe, naturalism is now taken for granted as the guiding principle of science.
** p. 92

* If you spend your life looking in vain for the Loch Ness Monster, stalking the lake with a camera, sounding it with sonar, and sending submersibles into its depths, and yet still find nothing, what is the more sensible view: to conclude provisionally that the monster simply isn’t there, or to throw up your hands and say, “It ''might'' be there; I’m not sure”? Most people would give the first response—unless they’re talking about God.
** p. 95

* It’s important to realize that philosophical naturalism is, like atheism, a ''provisional'' view. It’s not the kind of worldview that says, “I ''know'' there is no god,” but the kind that says, “Until I see some evidence, I don’t accept the existence of gods.”
** p. 95

* Science in fact has a lot to say about the supernatural. It can and has tested it, and so far has found no evidence for it....Indeed, over its history science has repeatedly investigated supernatural claims and, in principle, could find strong evidence for them. But that evidence hasn’t appeared.
** p. 113

* Theists’ typical response to these failures (i. e., of prayer to affect rates of healing) is to say either “God won’t let himself be tested” or “That’s not what prayer is about: it’s simply a way to converse with God.” But you can bet that had these studies shown a large positive effect, the religious would be noisily flaunting this as evidence for God. The confirmation bias shown by accepting positive results but explaining away negative ones is an important difference between science and religion.
** p. 116

* This shows what we already know: belief may arise by indoctrination or authority, but is often maintained by social utility. But if no conceivable evidence can shake your faith in a theistic God, then you’ve deliberately removed yourself from rational discourse. In other words, your faith has trumped science.
** p. 120

* Hume was right about one thing: to have real confidence in a miracle, one needs evidence—massive, well-documented, and either replicated or independently corroborated evidence from multiple and reliable sources. No religious miracle even comes close to meeting those standards.
** p. 124

* In the end, theistic evolution is not a useful compromise between science and religion. Insofar as it makes testable predictions, it has been falsified, and insofar as it makes claims that can’t be tested, it can be ignored.
** p. 147

* It is curious that those who claim such firm knowledge about God’s nature and works become silent when asked about God’s methods.
** p. 149

* That doesn’t mean that the religious completely abjure evidence. If it supports their preconceptions, they’ll accept it.
** p. 152

* When facing “scientific” arguments for God like these, ask yourself three questions. First, what’s more likely: that these are puzzles only because we refuse to see God as an answer, or simply because science hasn’t yet provided a naturalistic answer? In other words, is the religious explanation so compelling that we can tell scientists to stop working on the evolution and mechanics of consciousness, or on the origin of life, ''because there can never be a naturalistic explanation?'' Given the remarkable ability of science to solve problems once considered intractable, and the number of scientific phenomena that weren’t even known a hundred years ago, it’s probably more judicious to admit ignorance than to tout divinity.&lt;br&gt;Second, if invoking God seems more appealing than admitting scientific ignorance, ask yourself if religious explanations do anything more than rationalize our ignorance. That is, does the God hypothesis provide ''independent and novel predictions'' or clarify things once seen as puzzling—as truly scientific hypotheses do? Or are religious explanations simply stop-gaps that lead nowhere?...Does invoking God to explain the fine-tuning of the universe explain anything ''else'' about the universe? If not, then that brand of natural theology isn’t really science, but special pleading.&lt;br&gt;Finally, even if you attribute scientifically unexplained phenomena to God, ask yourself if the explanation gives evidence for ''your'' God—the God who undergirds your religion and your morality. If we do find evidence for, say, a supernatural origin of morality, can it be ascribed to the Christian God, or to Allah, Brahma, or any one god among the thousands worshipped on Earth? I’ve never seen advocates of natural theology address this question.
** pp. 156-157

* Of course, atheism, which is merely the lack of belief in gods, isn’t responsible for explaining altruism and ethics, a task that properly belongs to philosophy, science, and psychology. And those areas have offered plenty of nonreligious explanations for the “Moral law” and altruism. The explanations involve evolution, reason, and education.
** pp. 168-169

* So if morality is innate, it’s certainly malleable.
** p. 170

* The rapid change in many aspects of morality, even in the last century, also suggests that much of its “innateness” comes not from evolution but from learning. That’s because evolutionary change simply doesn’t occur fast enough to explain societal changes like our realization that women are not an inferior moiety of humanity, or that we shouldn’t torture prisoners. The explanation for these changes must reside in reason and learning: our realization that there is no rational basis for giving ourselves moral privilege over those who belong to other groups.
** pp. 170-171

* But some of our moral behaviors, if not sentiments, almost certainly evolved. Evidence for that comes from finding parallels between the behavior of our own species and that of our relatives.
** p. 171

* But the God hypothesis for morality and altruism has its own problems. It fails, for example, to specify exactly which moral judgments were instilled in people by God and which, if any, might rest on secular reason. It doesn’t explain why slavery, torture, and disdain for women and strangers were considered proper behaviors not too long ago, but are now seen as immoral. For if anything is true, God-given morality should remain constant over time and space. In contrast, if morality reflects a malleable social veneer on an evolutionary base, it should change as society changes. And it has.
** p. 177

* While our view of the world is filtered through our senses, evolution has, by and large, molded those senses to perceive the world accurately, for there’s a severe penalty to be paid for seeing things wrongly. That holds not only for the external environment, but also for the character of others. Without accurate perceptions, we couldn’t find food, avoid predators and other dangers, or form harmonious social groups. And following those perceptions is indeed the pursuit of “true beliefs”: beliefs based on evidence. Natural selection doesn’t mold true beliefs; it molds the sensory and neural apparatus that, in general, promotes the formation of true beliefs.
** p. 182

* It doesn’t trivialize morality to argue that it is based on evolution and secular reason.
** p. 190

* When one has a religious experience, what is “true” is only that one has had that experience, not that its contents convey anything about reality.
** p. 195

* Can you prove that leprechauns don’t live in my garden? Well, not absolutely, but if you never see one, and they have no effects, than you can provisionally conclude that they don’t exist. And so it is with all the fanciful features and creatures we firmly believe don’t exist.
** p. 203

* Putting all this together, we see that religion is like Sagan’s invisible dragon. The missing evidence for any god is simply too glaring, and the special pleading too unconvincing, to make its existence anything more than a logical possibility. It’s reasonable to conclude, provisionally but confidently, that the absence of evidence for God is indeed evidence for his absence.
** p. 204

* Science’s results alone justify its usefulness, for it is, hands down, the single best way we’ve devised to understand the universe.
** p. 206

* The conflation of faith as “unevidenced belief” with its vernacular use as “confidence based on experience” is simply a word trick used to buttress religion.
** p. 208

* The orderliness of nature—the so-called set of natural laws—is not an assumption but an ''observation.''
** p. 210

* Accommodationists further accuse scientists of having “faith in reason.” Yet reason is not an a priori assumption, but a tool that’s been shown to work. We don’t have faith in reason; we ''use'' reason, and we use it because it produces results and progressive understanding...&lt;br&gt;Reason is simply the way we justify our beliefs, and if you’re not using it, whether you’re justifying religious or scientific beliefs, you deserve no one’s attention.
** pp. 210-211

* Isn’t science, as some maintain, based on a “faith” that it’s good to pursue the truth? Hardly. The notion that knowledge is better than ignorance is not a quasi-religious faith, but a preference: we prefer to know the truth because accepting what’s false doesn’t give us useful answers about the universe.
** p. 211

* Every bit of truth clawed from nature over the last four centuries has involved completely ignoring God, for even religious scientists park their faith at the laboratory door.
** p. 216

* As the journalist Nick Cohen noted about accusations that atheism is like religion, “It’s not a charge I’d throw around if I were seeking to defend faith. When people say of dozens of political and cultural movements from monetarism to Marxism that their followers treat their cause ‘like a religion,’ they never mean it as a compliment. They mean that dumb obedience to higher authority and an obstinate attachment to dogma mark its adherents.”
** p. 218

* Most religions, and certainly the Abrahamic ones, have three features that are foreign to science. The most important is religion’s linkage to moral codes that define and enforce proper behavior, behavior supposedly reflecting God’s will. The second is the widespread belief in eternal reward and punishment: the notion that after death not just your fate but everyone else’s depends on adherence to conduct mandated by ''your'' religion. And the third is the notion of absolute truth: that the nature of your god, and what it wants, is unchanging. While some believers see their ability to fathom God’s nature as limited, and don’t accept the notion of a heaven or hell, the certainty of religious dogma is ar more absolute and far less provisional than the pronouncements of science.&lt;br&gt;This combination of certainty, morality, and universal punishment is toxic. It is what leads many believers not only to accept unenlightened views, like the disenfranchisement of women and gays, opposition to birth control, and intrusions into people’s private sex lives, but also to force those views on others, including their own children and society at large, and sometimes even to kill those who disagree.
** pp. 219-220

* For good people to do evil doesn’t require only religion, or even ''any'' religion, but simply one of its key elements: belief without evidence—in other words, faith. And that kind of faith is seen not just in religion, but in any authoritarian ideology that puts dogma above truth and frowns on dissent.
** p. 220

* Science has a huge advantage over “other ways of knowing”: built-in methods of self-correction.
** p. 223

* But none of this criticism of science makes religion even a tiny bit more credible...&lt;br&gt;In contrast, religion has ''never'' been right in its claims about the universe—at least not in a way that all rational people can accept. There is no reliable method to show that the Trinity exists, that God is loving and all-powerful, that we’ll meet our dead relatives in the afterlife, or that Brahma created the universe from a golden egg. Lacking a way to show its tenets are wrong, religion cannot show them to be right, even provisionally.
** p. 224

* The harm, as I’ve said repeatedly, comes not from the existence of religion itself, but from its reliance on and glorification of ''faith''—belief, or, if you will, “trust” or “confidence”—''without supporting evidence.'' And faith, as employed in religion (and in most other areas), is a danger to both science and society. The danger to science is in how faith warps the public understanding of science: by arguing, for instance, that science is based just as strongly on faith as is religion; by claiming that revelation or the guidance of ancient books is just as reliable a guide to truth about our universe as are the tools of science; by thinking that an adequate explanation can be based on what is personally appealing rather than on what stands the test of empirical study.
** pp. 225-226

* Religion has no warrant and no method for decreeing what is and what is not beyond science.
** p. 227

* Medicine can cure; faith cannot.
** p. 236

* Above all, religion, faith healing, and alternative medicine all show the diagnostic feature of faith: an agenda not to find the truth, but to support one’s biases, emotions, and personal beliefs.
** p. 238

* The first argument, that religion is a social necessity and will always be with us, is dubious. It can be demolished with only two words: northern Europe.
** p. 254

* I’m not a Marxist, but Marx got at least one thing right: for many, religion weakens the incentive to fix both personal and societal problems.
** p. 256

* Religion has nothing to tell scientists that can improve their trade. Indeed, the progress of science has required shedding all vestiges of religion, whether those be the beliefs themselves or religious methods for finding “truth.” We do not need those hypotheses.
** p. 257

* What might be considered a real contribution of science to religious ''belief'' is the empirical demonstration that some of those beliefs are wrong.
** p. 258

* I have argued that religion is to science as superstition is to reason; indeed, that is the very reason they are incompatible.
** p. 258

* In the end, why isn’t it better to find out how the world really works instead of making up stories about it, or accepting stories concocted centuries ago?
** p. 260

* It is time to stop seeing faith as a virtue, and to stop using the term “person of faith” as a compliment.
** p. 260

* A world that is faithless would not be without the arts, either. Those don’t rest on faith, so imaginative art, literature, and music would still be with us. Too, we would retain justice, law, and compassion, perhaps in even greater measure than now, for our judgment wouldn’t be warped by adherence to unevidenced divine strictures.
** p. 261

* Indeed, secular morality, which is not twisted by adherence to the supposed commands of a god, is superior to most “religious” morality.
** p. 261

== Quotes about Coyne ==
* Coyne is also s special kind of scientist---one who accepts some things on faith himself! Most important is &quot;determinism,&quot; when means that all of reality as we know it evolves completely deterministically according to physical laws.
** Herbert Gintis (2015), [http://www.amazon.com/gp/customer-reviews/R3UMNCRKH2YVYB/ref=cm_cr_pr_rvw_ttl?ie=UTF8&amp;ASIN=1494565307 Review of ''Faith Versus Fact'']

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Coyne, Jerry}}
[[Category:Biologists from the United States]]
[[Category:Geneticists]]
[[Category:Academics from the United States]]
[[Category:Educators from the United States]]
[[Category:1949 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:American science writers]]
[[Category:Atheism activists]]
[[Category:Activists from the United States]]
[[Category:Atheists from the United States]]
[[Category:American Jews]]
[[Category:Bloggers from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Illinois]]</text>
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        <username>Ferien</username>
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      <comment>/* Village pump discussion re: RevDel */ new section</comment>
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== Merge ip edits to user account ==

I have been editing under the ip range of [[Special:Contributions/2603:7080:da3c:7a33::/64|2603:7080:da3c:7a33::/64]], I would like this to be merged to the user account [[User:ilovemydoodle|ilovemydoodle]], Is this possible and if so, can it be done? &lt;small&gt;—The preceding [[Wikiquote:Sign your posts on talk pages|unsigned]] comment was added by [[Special:Contributions/2603:7080:da3c:7a33:92c:4b4e:97c1:f71e|2603:7080:da3c:7a33:92c:4b4e:97c1:f71e]] ([[User talk:2603:7080:da3c:7a33:92c:4b4e:97c1:f71e|talk]]) 08:33, 5 May 2022&lt;/small&gt;&lt;!-- Template:UnsignedIP --&gt;

== Quotations removed without discussion ==

Management is encouraged to consider that in April/May of this year, &quot;HouseOfChange&quot;  quickly removed hundreds of properly sourced quotations from notable people, which he did not approve of. It seems that HouseofChange has ignored the advice of BD2412 given on 26 April (text below) where he  advised him to move the removed quotes to the discussion pages for the good of this project.  


Here are some of the pages where the censored quotes have not yet been placed on the discussion pages, along with the approx. # of censored bytes:

Allegation; removed ~2847 bytes, 

Brainwashing ~17,000+ bytes, 

Cover-up - ~18,000 bytes, 

Corruption - ~16,884 bytes,

Decadence-  ~25,000 bytes,

Deception - ~5,000 bytes,

Hegemony ~6,000,

International Monetary Fund - ~35,000 bytes,

Mafia state ~27,000+ bytes,

Misinformation - ~9,000 bytes,  

Nuclear weapons  - ~19,000+ bytes,

Ukraine -40,000 bytes,

Reality-  ~27,000 bbytes,  

(please note, this is not a complete list - these were noted during a brief search)


referencing:  [[User_talk:HouseOfChange#Just_a_thought]]


BD2412 [to houseofchange]:... you are being quite aggressive in removing quotes that could arguably be included somewhere. I would suggest that rather than merely deleting them, you should move them to the respective talk pages of the pages you are working on (unless they are clearly by speakers with no plausible claim to notability). Some of them, readers might decide to keep, perhaps trimmed to a degree. Some of them might fit well into other pages. BD2412 T 07:14, 26 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]


HouseOfChange&quot; [reply]  That is a great idea! Thanks @BD2412: for the suggestion! It will preserve the material for other editors to give an opinion while making the article itself more readable/useful to readers... HouseOfChange (talk) 01:11, 27 April 2022 (UTC)

The actions of HouseOfChange  suggest that he may be not at all interested in helping educate the public with illuminating &amp; thought provoking quotations from notable people,  but working to intentionally dumb the people down by censoring what some would view as &quot;inconvenient truths&quot;.  Some would say that while he was boldly claiming to be battling POV pushing, he himself was POV pushing on a grand scale.    We encourage WQ's honorable   bureaucrats to encourage HouseofChange to follow the advice of BD2412 and that he (and one or two admins who egged him on) to be watched very carefully.  Obviously, there are many these days who tend to say one thing while doing something else, the air in the west seems to be  more full of lies than ever before. Thank you. [[Special:Contributions/47.36.43.90|47.36.43.90]] 00:13, 8 August 2022 (UTC)
: Feel free to watch my edits carefully! As a matter of courtesy, please tag me to give me a chance to respond if you want to complain about any specific edits rather than making wild guesses about my motivation. There was wide-ranging discussion at the time which you can see in [[Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard/Archive/037|this page's 2021 archive]], including [[Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard/Archive/037#Legacy_of_banned_user_User:Libraryclerk0191]] and under the heading (same archive} &quot;Cleanup on Aisle Five&quot; with objections raised at the time under the header &quot;Madman in Bulldozer on Aisle Five.&quot; [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 14:43, 19 August 2022 (UTC)

== Shining Time Station ==

:{{vandal|True to the Music}}
:{{vandal|68.193.160.90}}

:Likely sockpuppetry (similar edits to the &quot;abandoned&quot; Fourlaxers account), replacing humorous threatening quotes with confusing and meaningless quotes without first discussing on the article's talk page.
:[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Shining_Time_Station&amp;diff=3154192&amp;oldid=3154176 Exhibit A]
:[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Shining_Time_Station&amp;diff=3152519&amp;oldid=3152515 Exhibit B]
:These users need to cease. [[Special:Contributions/192.145.117.123|192.145.117.123]] 23:13, 13 August 2022 (UTC)
::*sigh* I try to warn the user account, but he just won't relent. All he keeps doing is reply with feeble, half-baked excuses. [[Special:Contributions/192.145.117.123|192.145.117.123]] 23:29, 13 August 2022 (UTC)

== Move requests for interface admins ==

[[MediaWiki:Gadget-sysopdectector]] -&gt; [[MediaWiki:Gadget-sysopdetector]]

[[MediaWiki:Gadget-sysopdectector.js]] -&gt; [[MediaWiki:Gadget-sysopdetector.js]]

Thanks. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:20, 26 August 2022 (UTC)

== Village pump discussion re: RevDel ==

Hello, I've started a discussion about revision deletion where your input would be appreciated. See [[Wikiquote:Village pump#RevDel policy]]. Thanks in advance for your help! --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:20, 27 August 2022 (UTC)</text>
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    <title>Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (film)</title>
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'''''[[w:Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (film)|Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs]]''''' is a [[w:2009 in film|2009 film]] about a town where food falls from the sky like rain. It stars the voices of {{w|Bill Hader}} and {{w|Anna Faris}}.

:''Directed and written by {{w|Phil Lord}} and {{w|Christopher Miller}}, based on [[w:Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs|the novel]] by [[w:Judi Barret|Judi Barret]] and [[w:Ron Barrett|Ron Barrett]].''
{{center|'''Prepare to get served'''}}

== Flint Lockwood ==
* ''[first lines; narrating]'' Have you ever felt like you were a little bit different, like you had something unique to offer the world if you could just get people to see it? Then you know exactly how it felt... to be... me. 
* ''[narrating]'' I wanted to run away that day… but you can't run away from your own feet.
* ''[narrating]'' My dream was to help my hometown, a tiny island hidden under the &quot;A&quot; in &quot;Atlantic,&quot; called Swallow Falls. We were famous for sardines until the day the Baby Brent Sardine Cannery closed for good right after everyone in the world realized that sardines are super gross. Soon, all of us were stuck eating the sardines that no one else wanted. Poached, fried, boiled, dried, candied, and juiced. Life became gray and flavorless. But when all seemed lost, I stared at defeat and found hope. My name is Flint Lockwood. And I was about to invent a machine that turns water into food.
* ''[narrating]'' It had been almost 10 years since Mom died. And Dad still didn't understand me like she did.
* It's okay, it's just pain. 
* Come on, Steve. We've got a diem to carpe!

== Sam Sparks ==
* Flint, this is amazing! And designing the ice cream to accumulate into scoops? I don't know how you're gonna top this!
* Thanks, Patrick. Okay, everyone, you're not going to believe this one, but I'm standing in the middle of a burger rain. You can have seen a meteor shower, but you have never seen a shower &quot;meatier&quot; than this. For a town stuck eating sardines, this is totally made out from heaven.
* Well, those cheeseburgers were only the beginning because a breakfast system is on its way to Swallow Falls. My forecast? Sunny… side up.
* Now that's what I call, poultry in motion.
* Leftovers? Not a problem with Flint Lockwood's latest invention, the Outtasighter, so named because it catapults uneaten food out of sight, and therefore, out of mind.
* I scream, you scream, we all scream for Flint Lockwood's latest tasty town-wide treat, with flurries of frozen fun on what the mayor declared to be an ice cream snow day. He'd also like to invite everyone in the world to catch a cruise liner, and come on down this Saturday for the grand opening of Chew And Swallow, a town that is truly ''à la mode.'' With today's scoop for the Weather News Network, I'm Sam Sparks!
* We are about to be in the epicenter of a perfect food storm. It's going to spread across the globe. I've calculated the Coriolis acceleration of the storm system. First, it'll hit New York, then Paris, then the Jiayuguan Pass in eastern China. And in four hours, the entire northern hemisphere will be one big '''potluck.'''

== Earl Devereaux ==
* Hey! This mess we're in is all our faults. Me, I didn't even protect my own son. Look, I'm as mad at Flint as you are. In fact, when he gets out of that car, I'm gonna slap him in the face! I know Flint Lockwood made the food, but it was made to order, and now it's time for all of us to pay the bill. 
* My chest hairs are tingling. Something's wrong.

== &quot;Baby&quot; Brent ==
* ''[repeated line]'' Uh, oh!
* ''[running while carrying a pair of giant scissors]'' I really shouldn't be running with these! 
* I'm not Baby Brent anymore.  I'm Chicken Brent, and I'm finally contributing to society!
* Oh, I don't know, I think they're kinda cute. I mean, this one just walked right up to me and– ''[Suddenly, a chicken eats Brent alive; Brent shrieked in terror]'' {{small|'''HE'S ''GOT'' ME!!'''}}

== Patrick Patrickson ==
* Yikes! What is that, a scrunchie? I haven't seen one of those since 1995.

== Dialogue ==

:'''Tim''': Flint, you don't keep throwing your net when there aren't any fish.
:'''Flint''': What?
:'''Tim''': I want you to work full-time at the tackle shop.
:'''Flint''': The tackle shop?! Aw, Dad, no!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Earl''': You see this contact lens, Flint Lockwood?
:'''Flint''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Earl''': This contact lens represents you! 
:'''Flint''':  All right.
:'''Earl''': And my eye represents my eye! 
:'''Flint''': Okay.
:'''Earl''': ''[puts on the contact lens]'' I've got my ''eye'' on... you.
:'''Flint''': Oh, my gosh! A jaywalker.
:'''Earl''': Hey!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam Sparks''': This food weather was created intentionally by meek-ish backyard tinkerer Flint Lockwood.
:'''Officer Earl Devereaux''': ''[shocked]'' Flint Lockwood!?
:'''Flint Lockwood''': ''[nervously]'' Hi…
:'''Earl''': ''[tackles Flint in anger]'' &lt;big&gt;YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR ''RUINING'' SARDINE LAND!!&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Sam''': Flint, those burgers were awesome! The producer called and he was all like, &quot;Everybody loves that food weather.&quot;
:'''Mayor Shelbourne''': Food weather. This could be even bigger than Sardine Land.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': I've never actually been in a snowball fight.
:'''Sam''': Really?
:'''Flint''': I don't even know the rules. Is there like a point system or is it... ''to the death''?
:'''Sam''': No. You never...? I mean, look, even Steve is throwing chocolate snowballs. Oh, ew.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam''': A town that is truly ''à la mode.''
:'''French Weather Reporter''': ''...À la mode. [translation: &quot;&quot;]''
:'''Arabic Weather Reporter''': ''...À la mode. [translation: &quot;&quot;]''
:'''British Weather Reporter''': A town that is truly topped with ice cream.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam''': Can you keep a secret?
:'''Flint''': No. ''[awkward pause]'' But this time, sure. Yeah.
:'''Sam''': ''[sighs]'' Okay. It was a really long time ago, but I too was... a ''nerd''.
:'''Flint''': ''[blankly]'' &quot;Too&quot;?
:'''Sam''': When I was a little girl, I wear a ponytail and glasses, and I was totally obsessed with the science of weather.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': ''[sees spaghetti tornado]'' Mamma mia.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam''': We need a doctor! Is anyone here a doctor? Anyone?
:'''Manny''': I am a doctor.
:'''Sam''': You are?
:'''Manny''': I was, back in Guatemala. I came here for a better life. Pretty great decision, eh?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Manny''': You are going to need a co-pilot.
:'''Sam''': You are a pilot, too?
:'''Manny''': Yes. I am also a particle physicist.
:'''Sam''': Really?
:'''Manny''': No, that was a joke. I am also a comedian. ''[Flint and Sam laugh]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': ''[Hanging from a licorice rope held by Sam, who is swelling up from her peanut allergy]'' Let go, Sam.
:'''Sam''': But you'll be stuck down there forever.
:'''Flint''': It's not ideal, no.
:'''Sam''': Come with us, Flint. We'll live underground, and use bacon for clothes.
:'''Flint''': That's not a very good plan, Sam.
:'''Sam''': It is if I don't have to lose you. Look, I like you, okay?
:'''Flint''': Like... Like as a friend?
:'''Sam''': No, like &quot;like you&quot; like you.
:'''Flint''': Me too. I mean, about you. ''[bites through rope and drops]'' Goodbye, Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint! No!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[last lines]''
:'''Flint''': Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint.
:'''Flint''': Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint.
:'''Tim''': Flint.
:'''Flint''': Dad.
:'''Steve''': Steve!
:'''Tim''': Flint. ''[sighs]'' Look, when you... when you cast your line... if it's not straight, um...
:'''Sam''': Oh, for crying out loud. ''[puts Flint's Monkey Thought Translator on Tim's head]''
:'''Tim''': ''[in a robotic voice]'' I'm proud of you, Flint. I'm amazed that someone as ordinary as me could be the father of someone as extraordinary as you. You're talented, you're a total original, and your lab is breathtaking. Your mom, she, uh, always knew you were going to be special. And if she were alive today, she'd tell us both, &quot;I told you so.&quot; Now, uh, look, when I take this thing off, and... you hear me make a fishing metaphor, just know that fishing metaphor means... ''[Tim takes off the Monkey Translator and speaks in a normal voice]'' I love my son.
:'''Flint''': I love you too, Dad.
:''[the crowd applauds]''
:'''Mayor Shelbourne''': This was not well thought out.

== Voice cast ==
* {{w|Bill Hader}} - Flint Lockwood
** Max Neuwirth (young)

* {{w|Anna Faris}} - Sam Sparks

=== Supporting ===
* {{w|James Caan}} - Tim Lockwood
* [[Andy Samberg]] - &quot;Baby&quot; Brent
* [[Bruce Campbell]] - Mayor Shelbourne
* {{w|Bobb'e J. Thompson}} - Calvin &quot;Cal&quot; Deveraux
* [[Mr. T]] - Officer Earl Devereaux
* {{w|Benjamin Bratt}} - Manny
* [[Neil Patrick Harris]] - Steve

=== Recurring ===
* {{w|Al Roker}} - Patrick Patrickson
* [[Lauren Graham]] - Fran Lockwood
* {{w|Will Forte}} - Joe Towne
* {{w|Angela Shelton}} - Regina Devereaux

==See also==
* [[Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (TV series)|Cloudy: The Series]]
* [[Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (film)}}
* {{imdb title|id=0844471|title=Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs}} 
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=cloudy_with_a_chance_of_meatballs|title=Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs}}

[[Category:2009 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy films]]
[[Category:Films about space hazards]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]</text>
      <sha1>n97izqua3ho6w2avlp84ih3yi82hmpv</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158656</id>
      <parentid>3158655</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T19:33:47Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>162.197.99.132</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Sam Sparks */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="9719" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (film)|Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs]]''''' is a [[w:2009 in film|2009 film]] about a town where food falls from the sky like rain. It stars the voices of {{w|Bill Hader}} and {{w|Anna Faris}}.

:''Directed and written by {{w|Phil Lord}} and {{w|Christopher Miller}}, based on [[w:Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs|the novel]] by [[w:Judi Barret|Judi Barret]] and [[w:Ron Barrett|Ron Barrett]].''
{{center|'''Prepare to get served'''}}

== Flint Lockwood ==
* ''[first lines; narrating]'' Have you ever felt like you were a little bit different, like you had something unique to offer the world if you could just get people to see it? Then you know exactly how it felt... to be... me. 
* ''[narrating]'' I wanted to run away that day… but you can't run away from your own feet.
* ''[narrating]'' My dream was to help my hometown, a tiny island hidden under the &quot;A&quot; in &quot;Atlantic,&quot; called Swallow Falls. We were famous for sardines until the day the Baby Brent Sardine Cannery closed for good right after everyone in the world realized that sardines are super gross. Soon, all of us were stuck eating the sardines that no one else wanted. Poached, fried, boiled, dried, candied, and juiced. Life became gray and flavorless. But when all seemed lost, I stared at defeat and found hope. My name is Flint Lockwood. And I was about to invent a machine that turns water into food.
* ''[narrating]'' It had been almost 10 years since Mom died. And Dad still didn't understand me like she did.
* It's okay, it's just pain. 
* Come on, Steve. We've got a diem to carpe!

== Sam Sparks ==
* Flint, this is amazing! And designing the ice cream to accumulate into scoops? I don't know how you're gonna top this!
* Thanks, Patrick. Okay, everyone, you're not going to believe this one, but I'm standing in the middle of a burger rain. You can have seen a meteor shower, but you have never seen a shower &quot;meatier&quot; than this. For a town stuck eating sardines, this is totally made out from heaven.
* Well, those cheeseburgers were only the beginning because a breakfast system is on its way to Swallow Falls. My forecast? Sunny… side up.
* Now that's what I call, poultry in motion.
* Leftovers? Not a problem with Flint Lockwood's latest invention, the Outtasighter, so named because it catapults uneaten food out of sight, and therefore, out of mind.
* I scream, you scream, we all scream for Flint Lockwood's latest tasty town-wide treat, with flurries of frozen fun on what the mayor declared to be an ice cream snow day. He'd also like to invite everyone in the world to catch a cruise liner, and come on down this Saturday for the grand opening of Chew And Swallow, a town that is truly ''à la mode.'' With today's scoop for the Weather News Network, I'm Sam Sparks!
* We are about to be in the epicenter of a perfect food storm. It's going to spread across the globe. I've calculated the Coriolis acceleration of the storm system. First, it'll hit New York, then Paris, then the Jiayuguan Pass in eastern China. And in four hours, the entire northern hemisphere will be one big potluck.

== Earl Devereaux ==
* Hey! This mess we're in is all our faults. Me, I didn't even protect my own son. Look, I'm as mad at Flint as you are. In fact, when he gets out of that car, I'm gonna slap him in the face! I know Flint Lockwood made the food, but it was made to order, and now it's time for all of us to pay the bill. 
* My chest hairs are tingling. Something's wrong.

== &quot;Baby&quot; Brent ==
* ''[repeated line]'' Uh, oh!
* ''[running while carrying a pair of giant scissors]'' I really shouldn't be running with these! 
* I'm not Baby Brent anymore.  I'm Chicken Brent, and I'm finally contributing to society!
* Oh, I don't know, I think they're kinda cute. I mean, this one just walked right up to me and– ''[Suddenly, a chicken eats Brent alive; Brent shrieked in terror]'' {{small|'''HE'S ''GOT'' ME!!'''}}

== Patrick Patrickson ==
* Yikes! What is that, a scrunchie? I haven't seen one of those since 1995.

== Dialogue ==

:'''Tim''': Flint, you don't keep throwing your net when there aren't any fish.
:'''Flint''': What?
:'''Tim''': I want you to work full-time at the tackle shop.
:'''Flint''': The tackle shop?! Aw, Dad, no!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Earl''': You see this contact lens, Flint Lockwood?
:'''Flint''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Earl''': This contact lens represents you! 
:'''Flint''':  All right.
:'''Earl''': And my eye represents my eye! 
:'''Flint''': Okay.
:'''Earl''': ''[puts on the contact lens]'' I've got my ''eye'' on... you.
:'''Flint''': Oh, my gosh! A jaywalker.
:'''Earl''': Hey!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam Sparks''': This food weather was created intentionally by meek-ish backyard tinkerer Flint Lockwood.
:'''Officer Earl Devereaux''': ''[shocked]'' Flint Lockwood!?
:'''Flint Lockwood''': ''[nervously]'' Hi…
:'''Earl''': ''[tackles Flint in anger]'' &lt;big&gt;YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR ''RUINING'' SARDINE LAND!!&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Sam''': Flint, those burgers were awesome! The producer called and he was all like, &quot;Everybody loves that food weather.&quot;
:'''Mayor Shelbourne''': Food weather. This could be even bigger than Sardine Land.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': I've never actually been in a snowball fight.
:'''Sam''': Really?
:'''Flint''': I don't even know the rules. Is there like a point system or is it... ''to the death''?
:'''Sam''': No. You never...? I mean, look, even Steve is throwing chocolate snowballs. Oh, ew.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam''': A town that is truly ''à la mode.''
:'''French Weather Reporter''': ''...À la mode. [translation: &quot;&quot;]''
:'''Arabic Weather Reporter''': ''...À la mode. [translation: &quot;&quot;]''
:'''British Weather Reporter''': A town that is truly topped with ice cream.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam''': Can you keep a secret?
:'''Flint''': No. ''[awkward pause]'' But this time, sure. Yeah.
:'''Sam''': ''[sighs]'' Okay. It was a really long time ago, but I too was... a ''nerd''.
:'''Flint''': ''[blankly]'' &quot;Too&quot;?
:'''Sam''': When I was a little girl, I wear a ponytail and glasses, and I was totally obsessed with the science of weather.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': ''[sees spaghetti tornado]'' Mamma mia.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam''': We need a doctor! Is anyone here a doctor? Anyone?
:'''Manny''': I am a doctor.
:'''Sam''': You are?
:'''Manny''': I was, back in Guatemala. I came here for a better life. Pretty great decision, eh?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Manny''': You are going to need a co-pilot.
:'''Sam''': You are a pilot, too?
:'''Manny''': Yes. I am also a particle physicist.
:'''Sam''': Really?
:'''Manny''': No, that was a joke. I am also a comedian. ''[Flint and Sam laugh]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': ''[Hanging from a licorice rope held by Sam, who is swelling up from her peanut allergy]'' Let go, Sam.
:'''Sam''': But you'll be stuck down there forever.
:'''Flint''': It's not ideal, no.
:'''Sam''': Come with us, Flint. We'll live underground, and use bacon for clothes.
:'''Flint''': That's not a very good plan, Sam.
:'''Sam''': It is if I don't have to lose you. Look, I like you, okay?
:'''Flint''': Like... Like as a friend?
:'''Sam''': No, like &quot;like you&quot; like you.
:'''Flint''': Me too. I mean, about you. ''[bites through rope and drops]'' Goodbye, Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint! No!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[last lines]''
:'''Flint''': Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint.
:'''Flint''': Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint.
:'''Tim''': Flint.
:'''Flint''': Dad.
:'''Steve''': Steve!
:'''Tim''': Flint. ''[sighs]'' Look, when you... when you cast your line... if it's not straight, um...
:'''Sam''': Oh, for crying out loud. ''[puts Flint's Monkey Thought Translator on Tim's head]''
:'''Tim''': ''[in a robotic voice]'' I'm proud of you, Flint. I'm amazed that someone as ordinary as me could be the father of someone as extraordinary as you. You're talented, you're a total original, and your lab is breathtaking. Your mom, she, uh, always knew you were going to be special. And if she were alive today, she'd tell us both, &quot;I told you so.&quot; Now, uh, look, when I take this thing off, and... you hear me make a fishing metaphor, just know that fishing metaphor means... ''[Tim takes off the Monkey Translator and speaks in a normal voice]'' I love my son.
:'''Flint''': I love you too, Dad.
:''[the crowd applauds]''
:'''Mayor Shelbourne''': This was not well thought out.

== Voice cast ==
* {{w|Bill Hader}} - Flint Lockwood
** Max Neuwirth (young)

* {{w|Anna Faris}} - Sam Sparks

=== Supporting ===
* {{w|James Caan}} - Tim Lockwood
* [[Andy Samberg]] - &quot;Baby&quot; Brent
* [[Bruce Campbell]] - Mayor Shelbourne
* {{w|Bobb'e J. Thompson}} - Calvin &quot;Cal&quot; Deveraux
* [[Mr. T]] - Officer Earl Devereaux
* {{w|Benjamin Bratt}} - Manny
* [[Neil Patrick Harris]] - Steve

=== Recurring ===
* {{w|Al Roker}} - Patrick Patrickson
* [[Lauren Graham]] - Fran Lockwood
* {{w|Will Forte}} - Joe Towne
* {{w|Angela Shelton}} - Regina Devereaux

==See also==
* [[Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (TV series)|Cloudy: The Series]]
* [[Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (film)}}
* {{imdb title|id=0844471|title=Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs}} 
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=cloudy_with_a_chance_of_meatballs|title=Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs}}

[[Category:2009 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy films]]
[[Category:Films about space hazards]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]</text>
      <sha1>pennd76gruzvq46iotlar7colpx59o8</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158659</id>
      <parentid>3158656</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T19:37:23Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>162.197.99.132</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="9700" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (film)|Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs]]''''' is a [[w:2009 in film|2009 film]] about a town where food falls from the sky like rain. It stars the voices of {{w|Bill Hader}} and {{w|Anna Faris}}.

:''Directed and written by {{w|Phil Lord}} and {{w|Christopher Miller}}, based on [[w:Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs|the novel]] by [[w:Judi Barret|Judi Barret]] and [[w:Ron Barrett|Ron Barrett]].''
{{center|'''Prepare to get served'''}}

== Flint Lockwood ==
* ''[first lines; narrating]'' Have you ever felt like you were a little bit different, like you had something unique to offer the world if you could just get people to see it? Then you know exactly how it felt... to be... me. 
* ''[narrating]'' I wanted to run away that day… but you can't run away from your own feet.
* ''[narrating]'' My dream was to help my hometown, a tiny island hidden under the &quot;A&quot; in &quot;Atlantic,&quot; called Swallow Falls. We were famous for sardines until the day the Baby Brent Sardine Cannery closed for good right after everyone in the world realized that sardines are super gross. Soon, all of us were stuck eating the sardines that no one else wanted. Poached, fried, boiled, dried, candied, and juiced. Life became gray and flavorless. But when all seemed lost, I stared at defeat and found hope. My name is Flint Lockwood. And I was about to invent a machine that turns water into food.
* ''[narrating]'' It had been almost 10 years since Mom died. And Dad still didn't understand me like she did.
* It's okay, it's just pain. 
* Come on, Steve. We've got a diem to carpe!

== Sam Sparks ==
* Flint, this is amazing! And designing the ice cream to accumulate into scoops? I don't know how you're gonna top this!
* Thanks, Patrick. Okay, everyone, you're not going to believe this one, but I'm standing in the middle of a burger rain. You can have seen a meteor shower, but you have never seen a shower &quot;meatier&quot; than this. For a town stuck eating sardines, this is totally made out from heaven.
* Well, those cheeseburgers were only the beginning because a breakfast system is on its way to Swallow Falls. My forecast? Sunny… side up.
* Now that's what I call, poultry in motion.
* Leftovers? Not a problem with Flint Lockwood's latest invention, the Outtasighter, so named because it catapults uneaten food out of sight, and therefore, out of mind.
* I scream, you scream, we all scream for Flint Lockwood's latest tasty town-wide treat, with flurries of frozen fun on what the mayor declared to be an ice cream snow day. He'd also like to invite everyone in the world to catch a cruise liner, and come on down this Saturday for the grand opening of Chew And Swallow, a town that is truly ''à la mode.'' With today's scoop for the Weather News Network, I'm Sam Sparks!
* We are about to be in the epicenter of a perfect food storm. It's going to spread across the globe. I've calculated the Coriolis acceleration of the storm system. First, it'll hit New York, then Paris, then the Jiayuguan Pass in eastern China. And in four hours, the entire northern hemisphere will be one big potluck.

== Earl Devereaux ==
* Hey! This mess we're in is all our faults. Me, I didn't even protect my own son. Look, I'm as mad at Flint as you are. In fact, when he gets out of that car, I'm gonna slap him in the face! I know Flint Lockwood made the food, but it was made to order, and now it's time for all of us to pay the bill. 
* My chest hairs are tingling. Something's wrong.

== &quot;Baby&quot; Brent ==
* ''[repeated line]'' Uh, oh!
* ''[running while carrying a pair of giant scissors]'' I really shouldn't be running with these! 
* I'm not Baby Brent anymore.  I'm Chicken Brent, and I'm finally contributing to society!
* Oh, I don't know, I think they're kinda cute. I mean, this one just walked right up to me and– ''[Suddenly, a chicken eats Brent alive; Brent shrieked in terror]'' {{small|'''HE'S ''GOT'' ME!!'''}}

== Patrick Patrickson ==
* Yikes! What is that, a scrunchie? I haven't seen one of those since 1995.

== Dialogue ==

:'''Tim''': Flint, you don't keep throwing your net when there aren't any fish.
:'''Flint''': What?
:'''Tim''': I want you to work full-time at the tackle shop.
:'''Flint''': The tackle shop?! Aw, Dad, no!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Earl''': You see this contact lens, Flint Lockwood?
:'''Flint''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Earl''': This contact lens represents you! 
:'''Flint''':  All right.
:'''Earl''': And my eye represents my eye! 
:'''Flint''': Okay.
:'''Earl''': ''[puts on the contact lens]'' I've got my ''eye'' on... you.
:'''Flint''': Oh, my gosh! A jaywalker.
:'''Earl''': Hey!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam Sparks''': This food weather was created intentionally by meek-ish backyard tinkerer Flint Lockwood.
:'''Officer Earl Devereaux''': ''[shocked]'' Flint Lockwood!?
:'''Flint Lockwood''': ''[nervously]'' Hi…
:'''Earl''': ''[tackles Flint in anger]'' &lt;big&gt;YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR ''RUINING'' SARDINE LAND!!&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Sam''': Flint, those burgers were awesome! The producer called and he was all like, &quot;Everybody loves that food weather.&quot;
:'''Mayor Shelbourne''': Food weather. This could be even bigger than Sardine Land.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': So here's how it works. Water goes in the top, and food comes out the bottom.
:'''Sam''': So when you shot it up into the stratosphere, you figured it would induce a molecular phase change in the vapor from the cumulonimbus layer?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': I've never actually been in a snowball fight.
:'''Sam''': Really?
:'''Flint''': I don't even know the rules. Is there like a point system or is it... ''to the death''?
:'''Sam''': No. You never...? I mean, look, even Steve is throwing chocolate snowballs. Oh, ew.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam''': Can you keep a secret?
:'''Flint''': No. ''[awkward pause]'' But this time, sure. Yeah.
:'''Sam''': ''[sighs]'' Okay. It was a really long time ago, but I too was... a ''nerd''.
:'''Flint''': ''[blankly]'' &quot;Too&quot;?
:'''Sam''': When I was a little girl, I wear a ponytail and glasses, and I was totally obsessed with the science of weather.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': ''[sees spaghetti tornado]'' Mamma mia.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam''': We need a doctor! Is anyone here a doctor? Anyone?
:'''Manny''': I am a doctor.
:'''Sam''': You are?
:'''Manny''': I was, back in Guatemala. I came here for a better life. Pretty great decision, eh?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Manny''': You are going to need a co-pilot.
:'''Sam''': You are a pilot, too?
:'''Manny''': Yes. I am also a particle physicist.
:'''Sam''': Really?
:'''Manny''': No, that was a joke. I am also a comedian. ''[Flint and Sam laugh]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': ''[Hanging from a licorice rope held by Sam, who is swelling up from her peanut allergy]'' Let go, Sam.
:'''Sam''': But you'll be stuck down there forever.
:'''Flint''': It's not ideal, no.
:'''Sam''': Come with us, Flint. We'll live underground, and use bacon for clothes.
:'''Flint''': That's not a very good plan, Sam.
:'''Sam''': It is if I don't have to lose you. Look, I like you, okay?
:'''Flint''': Like... Like as a friend?
:'''Sam''': No, like &quot;like you&quot; like you.
:'''Flint''': Me too. I mean, about you. ''[bites through rope and drops]'' Goodbye, Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint! No!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[last lines]''
:'''Flint''': Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint.
:'''Flint''': Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint.
:'''Tim''': Flint.
:'''Flint''': Dad.
:'''Steve''': Steve!
:'''Tim''': Flint. ''[sighs]'' Look, when you... when you cast your line... if it's not straight, um...
:'''Sam''': Oh, for crying out loud. ''[puts Flint's Monkey Thought Translator on Tim's head]''
:'''Tim''': ''[in a robotic voice]'' I'm proud of you, Flint. I'm amazed that someone as ordinary as me could be the father of someone as extraordinary as you. You're talented, you're a total original, and your lab is breathtaking. Your mom, she, uh, always knew you were going to be special. And if she were alive today, she'd tell us both, &quot;I told you so.&quot; Now, uh, look, when I take this thing off, and... you hear me make a fishing metaphor, just know that fishing metaphor means... ''[Tim takes off the Monkey Translator and speaks in a normal voice]'' I love my son.
:'''Flint''': I love you too, Dad.
:''[the crowd applauds]''
:'''Mayor Shelbourne''': This was not well thought out.

== Voice cast ==
* {{w|Bill Hader}} - Flint Lockwood
** Max Neuwirth (young)

* {{w|Anna Faris}} - Sam Sparks

=== Supporting ===
* {{w|James Caan}} - Tim Lockwood
* [[Andy Samberg]] - &quot;Baby&quot; Brent
* [[Bruce Campbell]] - Mayor Shelbourne
* {{w|Bobb'e J. Thompson}} - Calvin &quot;Cal&quot; Deveraux
* [[Mr. T]] - Officer Earl Devereaux
* {{w|Benjamin Bratt}} - Manny
* [[Neil Patrick Harris]] - Steve

=== Recurring ===
* {{w|Al Roker}} - Patrick Patrickson
* [[Lauren Graham]] - Fran Lockwood
* {{w|Will Forte}} - Joe Towne
* {{w|Angela Shelton}} - Regina Devereaux

==See also==
* [[Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (TV series)|Cloudy: The Series]]
* [[Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (film)}}
* {{imdb title|id=0844471|title=Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs}} 
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=cloudy_with_a_chance_of_meatballs|title=Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs}}

[[Category:2009 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy films]]
[[Category:Films about space hazards]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]</text>
      <sha1>2k0339cvidp5jc6lbmrb2s76j9hwvpd</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158664</id>
      <parentid>3158659</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T19:42:36Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>162.197.99.132</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="10246" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (film)|Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs]]''''' is a [[w:2009 in film|2009 film]] about a town where food falls from the sky like rain. It stars the voices of {{w|Bill Hader}} and {{w|Anna Faris}}.

:''Directed and written by {{w|Phil Lord}} and {{w|Christopher Miller}}, based on [[w:Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs|the novel]] by [[w:Judi Barret|Judi Barret]] and [[w:Ron Barrett|Ron Barrett]].''
{{center|'''Prepare to get served'''}}

== Flint Lockwood ==
* ''[first lines; narrating]'' Have you ever felt like you were a little bit different, like you had something unique to offer the world if you could just get people to see it? Then you know exactly how it felt... to be... me. 
* ''[narrating]'' I wanted to run away that day… but you can't run away from your own feet.
* ''[narrating]'' My dream was to help my hometown, a tiny island hidden under the &quot;A&quot; in &quot;Atlantic,&quot; called Swallow Falls. We were famous for sardines until the day the Baby Brent Sardine Cannery closed for good right after everyone in the world realized that sardines are super gross. Soon, all of us were stuck eating the sardines that no one else wanted. Poached, fried, boiled, dried, candied, and juiced. Life became gray and flavorless. But when all seemed lost, I stared at defeat and found hope. My name is Flint Lockwood. And I was about to invent a machine that turns water into food.
* ''[narrating]'' It had been almost 10 years since Mom died. And Dad still didn't understand me like she did.
* It's okay, it's just pain. 
* Come on, Steve. We've got a diem to carpe!

== Sam Sparks ==
* Flint, this is amazing! And designing the ice cream to accumulate into scoops? I don't know how you're gonna top this!
* Thanks, Patrick. Okay, everyone, you're not going to believe this one, but I'm standing in the middle of a burger rain. You can have seen a meteor shower, but you have never seen a shower &quot;meatier&quot; than this. For a town stuck eating sardines, this is totally made out from heaven.
* Well, those cheeseburgers were only the beginning because a breakfast system is on its way to Swallow Falls. My forecast? Sunny… side up.
* Now that's what I call, poultry in motion.
* Leftovers? Not a problem with Flint Lockwood's latest invention, the Outtasighter, so named because it catapults uneaten food out of sight, and therefore, out of mind.
* I scream, you scream, we all scream for Flint Lockwood's latest tasty town-wide treat, with flurries of frozen fun on what the mayor declared to be an ice cream snow day. He'd also like to invite everyone in the world to catch a cruise liner, and come on down this Saturday for the grand opening of Chew And Swallow, a town that is truly ''à la mode.'' With today's scoop for the Weather News Network, I'm Sam Sparks!
* We are about to be in the epicenter of a perfect food storm. It's going to spread across the globe. I've calculated the Coriolis acceleration of the storm system. First, it'll hit New York, then Paris, then the Jiayuguan Pass in eastern China. And in four hours, the entire northern hemisphere will be one big potluck.

== Earl Devereaux ==
* Hey! This mess we're in is all our faults. Me, I didn't even protect my own son. Look, I'm as mad at Flint as you are. In fact, when he gets out of that car, I'm gonna slap him in the face! I know Flint Lockwood made the food, but it was made to order, and now it's time for all of us to pay the bill. 
* My chest hairs are tingling. Something's wrong.

== &quot;Baby&quot; Brent ==
* ''[repeated line]'' Uh, oh!
* ''[running while carrying a pair of giant scissors]'' I really shouldn't be running with these! 
* I'm not Baby Brent anymore.  I'm Chicken Brent, and I'm finally contributing to society!
* Oh, I don't know, I think they're kinda cute. I mean, this one just walked right up to me and– ''[Suddenly, a chicken eats Brent alive; Brent shrieked in terror]'' {{small|'''HE'S ''GOT'' ME!!'''}}

== Patrick Patrickson ==
* Yikes! What is that, a scrunchie? I haven't seen one of those since 1995.

== Dialogue ==

:'''Tim''': Flint, you don't keep throwing your net when there aren't any fish.
:'''Flint''': What?
:'''Tim''': I want you to work full-time at the tackle shop.
:'''Flint''': The tackle shop?! Aw, Dad, no!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Earl''': You see this contact lens, Flint Lockwood?
:'''Flint''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Earl''': This contact lens represents you! 
:'''Flint''':  All right.
:'''Earl''': And my eye represents my eye! 
:'''Flint''': Okay.
:'''Earl''': ''[puts on the contact lens]'' I've got my ''eye'' on... you.
:'''Flint''': Oh, my gosh! A jaywalker.
:'''Earl''': Hey!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam Sparks''': This food weather was created intentionally by meek-ish backyard tinkerer Flint Lockwood.
:'''Officer Earl Devereaux''': ''[shocked]'' Flint Lockwood!?
:'''Flint Lockwood''': ''[nervously]'' Hi…
:'''Earl''': ''[tackles Flint in anger]'' &lt;big&gt;YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR ''RUINING'' SARDINE LAND!!&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Sam''': Flint, those burgers were awesome! The producer called and he was all like, &quot;Everybody loves that food weather.&quot;
:'''Mayor Shelbourne''': Food weather. This could be even bigger than Sardine Land.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': So here's how it works. Water goes in the top, and food comes out the bottom.
:'''Sam''': So when you shot it up into the stratosphere, you figured it would induce a molecular phase change in the vapor from the cumulonimbus layer?
:'''Flint''': That's actually a really smart observation.
:'''Sam''': I mean… The clouds probably have water in them, which, uh, I guess is why you shot it up there in the first place.
:'''Flint''': Right, right. That's why I did it that. On-On purpose.
:'''Sam''': Right. Yeah.
:'''Flint''': ''[in unison]'' Right.
:'''Sam''': ''[in unison]'' Of course.
:'''Flint''': The machine uses a principle hydro-genetic mutation. Water molecules are bombarded with microwave radiation which mutates their genetic recipe into any kind of food you want.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': I've never actually been in a snowball fight.
:'''Sam''': Really?
:'''Flint''': I don't even know the rules. Is there like a point system or is it... ''to the death''?
:'''Sam''': No. You never...? I mean, look, even Steve is throwing chocolate snowballs. Oh, ew.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam''': Can you keep a secret?
:'''Flint''': No. ''[awkward pause]'' But this time, sure. Yeah.
:'''Sam''': ''[sighs]'' Okay. It was a really long time ago, but I too was... a ''nerd''.
:'''Flint''': ''[blankly]'' &quot;Too&quot;?
:'''Sam''': When I was a little girl, I wear a ponytail and glasses, and I was totally obsessed with the science of weather.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': ''[sees spaghetti tornado]'' Mamma mia.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam''': We need a doctor! Is anyone here a doctor? Anyone?
:'''Manny''': I am a doctor.
:'''Sam''': You are?
:'''Manny''': I was, back in Guatemala. I came here for a better life. Pretty great decision, eh?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Manny''': You are going to need a co-pilot.
:'''Sam''': You are a pilot, too?
:'''Manny''': Yes. I am also a particle physicist.
:'''Sam''': Really?
:'''Manny''': No, that was a joke. I am also a comedian. ''[Flint and Sam laugh]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': ''[Hanging from a licorice rope held by Sam, who is swelling up from her peanut allergy]'' Let go, Sam.
:'''Sam''': But you'll be stuck down there forever.
:'''Flint''': It's not ideal, no.
:'''Sam''': Come with us, Flint. We'll live underground, and use bacon for clothes.
:'''Flint''': That's not a very good plan, Sam.
:'''Sam''': It is if I don't have to lose you. Look, I like you, okay?
:'''Flint''': Like... Like as a friend?
:'''Sam''': No, like &quot;like you&quot; like you.
:'''Flint''': Me too. I mean, about you. ''[bites through rope and drops]'' Goodbye, Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint! No!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[last lines]''
:'''Flint''': Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint.
:'''Flint''': Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint.
:'''Tim''': Flint.
:'''Flint''': Dad.
:'''Steve''': Steve!
:'''Tim''': Flint. ''[sighs]'' Look, when you... when you cast your line... if it's not straight, um...
:'''Sam''': Oh, for crying out loud. ''[puts Flint's Monkey Thought Translator on Tim's head]''
:'''Tim''': ''[in a robotic voice]'' I'm proud of you, Flint. I'm amazed that someone as ordinary as me could be the father of someone as extraordinary as you. You're talented, you're a total original, and your lab is breathtaking. Your mom, she, uh, always knew you were going to be special. And if she were alive today, she'd tell us both, &quot;I told you so.&quot; Now, uh, look, when I take this thing off, and... you hear me make a fishing metaphor, just know that fishing metaphor means... ''[Tim takes off the Monkey Translator and speaks in a normal voice]'' I love my son.
:'''Flint''': I love you too, Dad.
:''[the crowd applauds]''
:'''Mayor Shelbourne''': This was not well thought out.

== Voice cast ==
* {{w|Bill Hader}} - Flint Lockwood
** Max Neuwirth (young)

* {{w|Anna Faris}} - Sam Sparks

=== Supporting ===
* {{w|James Caan}} - Tim Lockwood
* [[Andy Samberg]] - &quot;Baby&quot; Brent
* [[Bruce Campbell]] - Mayor Shelbourne
* {{w|Bobb'e J. Thompson}} - Calvin &quot;Cal&quot; Deveraux
* [[Mr. T]] - Officer Earl Devereaux
* {{w|Benjamin Bratt}} - Manny
* [[Neil Patrick Harris]] - Steve

=== Recurring ===
* {{w|Al Roker}} - Patrick Patrickson
* [[Lauren Graham]] - Fran Lockwood
* {{w|Will Forte}} - Joe Towne
* {{w|Angela Shelton}} - Regina Devereaux

==See also==
* [[Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (TV series)|Cloudy: The Series]]
* [[Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (film)}}
* {{imdb title|id=0844471|title=Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs}} 
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=cloudy_with_a_chance_of_meatballs|title=Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs}}

[[Category:2009 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy films]]
[[Category:Films about space hazards]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]</text>
      <sha1>f7lejm1abnetxfx9i8at80peew5riao</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158667</id>
      <parentid>3158664</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T19:51:53Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>162.197.99.132</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="11057" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (film)|Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs]]''''' is a [[w:2009 in film|2009 film]] about a town where food falls from the sky like rain. It stars the voices of {{w|Bill Hader}} and {{w|Anna Faris}}.

:''Directed and written by {{w|Phil Lord}} and {{w|Christopher Miller}}, based on [[w:Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs|the novel]] by [[w:Judi Barret|Judi Barret]] and [[w:Ron Barrett|Ron Barrett]].''
{{center|'''Prepare to get served'''}}

== Flint Lockwood ==
* ''[first lines; narrating]'' Have you ever felt like you were a little bit different, like you had something unique to offer the world if you could just get people to see it? Then you know exactly how it felt... to be... me. 
* ''[narrating]'' I wanted to run away that day… but you can't run away from your own feet.
* ''[narrating]'' My dream was to help my hometown, a tiny island hidden under the &quot;A&quot; in &quot;Atlantic,&quot; called Swallow Falls. We were famous for sardines until the day the Baby Brent Sardine Cannery closed for good right after everyone in the world realized that sardines are super gross. Soon, all of us were stuck eating the sardines that no one else wanted. Poached, fried, boiled, dried, candied, and juiced. Life became gray and flavorless. But when all seemed lost, I stared at defeat and found hope. My name is Flint Lockwood. And I was about to invent a machine that turns water into food.
* ''[narrating]'' It had been almost 10 years since Mom died. And Dad still didn't understand me like she did.
* It's okay, it's just pain. 
* Come on, Steve. We've got a diem to carpe!

== Sam Sparks ==
* Flint, this is amazing! And designing the ice cream to accumulate into scoops? I don't know how you're gonna top this!
* Thanks, Patrick. Okay, everyone, you're not going to believe this one, but I'm standing in the middle of a burger rain. You can have seen a meteor shower, but you have never seen a shower &quot;meatier&quot; than this. For a town stuck eating sardines, this is totally made out from heaven.
* Well, those cheeseburgers were only the beginning because a breakfast system is on its way to Swallow Falls. My forecast? Sunny… side up.
* Now that's what I call, poultry in motion.
* Leftovers? Not a problem with Flint Lockwood's latest invention, the Outtasighter, so named because it catapults uneaten food out of sight, and therefore, out of mind.
* I scream, you scream, we all scream for Flint Lockwood's latest tasty town-wide treat, with flurries of frozen fun on what the mayor declared to be an ice cream snow day. He'd also like to invite everyone in the world to catch a cruise liner, and come on down this Saturday for the grand opening of Chew And Swallow, a town that is truly ''à la mode.'' With today's scoop for the Weather News Network, I'm Sam Sparks!
* We are about to be in the epicenter of a perfect food storm. It's going to spread across the globe. I've calculated the Coriolis acceleration of the storm system. First, it'll hit New York, then Paris, then the Jiayuguan Pass in eastern China. And in four hours, the entire northern hemisphere will be one big potluck.

== Earl Devereaux ==
* Hey! This mess we're in is all our faults. Me, I didn't even protect my own son. Look, I'm as mad at Flint as you are. In fact, when he gets out of that car, I'm gonna slap him in the face! I know Flint Lockwood made the food, but it was made to order, and now it's time for all of us to pay the bill. 
* My chest hairs are tingling. Something's wrong.

== &quot;Baby&quot; Brent ==
* ''[repeated line]'' Uh, oh!
* ''[running while carrying a pair of giant scissors]'' I really shouldn't be running with these! 
* I'm not Baby Brent anymore.  I'm Chicken Brent, and I'm finally contributing to society!
* Oh, I don't know, I think they're kinda cute. I mean, this one just walked right up to me and– ''[Suddenly, a chicken eats Brent alive; Brent shrieked in terror]'' {{small|'''HE'S ''GOT'' ME!!'''}}

== Patrick Patrickson ==
* Yikes! What is that, a scrunchie? I haven't seen one of those since 1995.

== Dialogue ==

:'''Tim''': Flint, you don't keep throwing your net when there aren't any fish.
:'''Flint''': What?
:'''Tim''': I want you to work full-time at the tackle shop.
:'''Flint''': The tackle shop?! Aw, Dad, no!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Earl''': You see this contact lens, Flint Lockwood?
:'''Flint''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Earl''': This contact lens represents you! 
:'''Flint''':  All right.
:'''Earl''': And my eye represents my eye! 
:'''Flint''': Okay.
:'''Earl''': ''[puts on the contact lens]'' I've got my ''eye'' on... you.
:'''Flint''': Oh, my gosh! A jaywalker.
:'''Earl''': Hey!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam Sparks''': This food weather was created intentionally by meek-ish backyard tinkerer Flint Lockwood.
:'''Officer Earl Devereaux''': ''[shocked]'' Flint Lockwood!?
:'''Flint Lockwood''': ''[nervously]'' Hi…
:'''Earl''': ''[tackles Flint in anger]'' &lt;big&gt;YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR ''RUINING'' SARDINE LAND!!&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Sam''': Flint, those burgers were awesome! The producer called and he was all like, &quot;Everybody loves that food weather.&quot;
:'''Mayor Shelbourne''': Food weather. This could be even bigger than Sardine Land.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': So here's how it works. Water goes in the top, and food comes out the bottom.
:'''Sam''': So when you shot it up into the stratosphere, you figured it would induce a molecular phase change in the vapor from the cumulonimbus layer?
:'''Flint''': That's actually a really smart observation.
:'''Sam''': I mean… The clouds probably have water in them, which, uh, I guess is why you shot it up there in the first place.
:'''Flint''': Right, right. That's why I did it that. On-On purpose.
:'''Sam''': Right. Yeah.
:'''Flint''': ''[in unison]'' Right.
:'''Sam''': ''[in unison]'' Of course.
:'''Flint''': The machine uses a principle hydro-genetic mutation. Water molecules are bombarded with microwave radiation which mutates their genetic recipe into any kind of food you want.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': I've never actually been in a snowball fight.
:'''Sam''': Really?
:'''Flint''': I don't even know the rules. Is there like a point system or is it... ''to the death''?
:'''Sam''': No. You never...? I mean, look, even Steve is throwing chocolate snowballs. Oh, ew.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam''': Can you keep a secret?
:'''Flint''': No. ''[awkward pause]'' But this time, sure. Yeah.
:'''Sam''': ''[sighs]'' Okay. It was a really long time ago, but I too was... a ''nerd''.
:'''Flint''': ''[blankly]'' &quot;Too&quot;?
:'''Sam''': When I was a little girl, I wear a ponytail and glasses, and I was totally obsessed with the science of weather. ''[Flashback to her childhood; voice-over]'' Other girls wanted a Barbie. I wanted a Doppler Weather Radar 2000 Turbo. But all the kids used to taunt me with this lame song. It wasn't even clever.
:'''Kids''': ''[singing while taunting Young Sam]'' ♪ Four eyes! Four eyes! You need glasses to see! ♪
:''[Flashback ends; Flint snickers a bit and Sam looks at him]''
:'''Flint''': Go on.
:'''Sam''': So, I got a new look, gave the science-y smart stuff, and I was never made fun of again. ''[takes her glasses out her pocket]'' And I ''still'' need these glasses, but I never wear them.
:'''Flint''': I bet you'll look great with glasses on.
:'''Sam''': Oh, I'm really…
:'''Flint''': And on they go. ''[puts the glasses on her eyes]''
:'''Sam''': ''[as her vision becomes clear]'' Whoa!
:'''Flint''': What?
:'''Sam''': Nothing.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': ''[sees spaghetti tornado]'' Mamma mia.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam''': We need a doctor! Is anyone here a doctor? Anyone?
:'''Manny''': I am a doctor.
:'''Sam''': You are?
:'''Manny''': I was, back in Guatemala. I came here for a better life. Pretty great decision, eh?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Manny''': You are going to need a co-pilot.
:'''Sam''': You are a pilot, too?
:'''Manny''': Yes. I am also a particle physicist.
:'''Sam''': Really?
:'''Manny''': No, that was a joke. I am also a comedian. ''[Flint and Sam laugh]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': ''[Hanging from a licorice rope held by Sam, who is swelling up from her peanut allergy]'' Let go, Sam.
:'''Sam''': I'm not gonna let you go! Flint, you'll be stuck down there.
:'''Flint''': It's not ideal, no.
:'''Sam''': Come with us, Flint. We'll live underground, and use bacon for clothes.
:'''Flint''': That's not a very good plan, Sam.
:'''Sam''': It is if I don't have to lose you. Look, I like you, okay?
:'''Flint''': Like... Like as a friend?
:'''Sam''': No, like &quot;like you&quot; like you.
:'''Flint''': Me too. I mean, about you. ''[bites through rope and drops]'' Goodbye, Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint! No!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[last lines]''
:'''Flint''': Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint.
:'''Flint''': Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint.
:'''Tim''': Flint.
:'''Flint''': Dad.
:'''Steve''': Steve!
:'''Tim''': Flint. ''[sighs]'' Look, when you... when you cast your line... if it's not straight, um...
:'''Sam''': Oh, for crying out loud. ''[puts Flint's Monkey Thought Translator on Tim's head]''
:'''Tim''': ''[in a robotic voice]'' I'm proud of you, Flint. I'm amazed that someone as ordinary as me could be the father of someone as extraordinary as you. You're talented, you're a total original, and your lab is breathtaking. Your mom, she, uh, always knew you were going to be special. And if she were alive today, she'd tell us both, &quot;I told you so.&quot; Now, uh, look, when I take this thing off, and... you hear me make a fishing metaphor, just know that fishing metaphor means... ''[Tim takes off the Monkey Translator and speaks in a normal voice]'' I love my son.
:'''Flint''': I love you too, Dad.
:''[the crowd applauds]''
:'''Mayor Shelbourne''': This was not well thought out.

== Voice cast ==
* {{w|Bill Hader}} - Flint Lockwood
** Max Neuwirth (young)

* {{w|Anna Faris}} - Sam Sparks

=== Supporting ===
* {{w|James Caan}} - Tim Lockwood
* [[Andy Samberg]] - &quot;Baby&quot; Brent
* [[Bruce Campbell]] - Mayor Shelbourne
* {{w|Bobb'e J. Thompson}} - Calvin &quot;Cal&quot; Deveraux
* [[Mr. T]] - Officer Earl Devereaux
* {{w|Benjamin Bratt}} - Manny
* [[Neil Patrick Harris]] - Steve

=== Recurring ===
* {{w|Al Roker}} - Patrick Patrickson
* [[Lauren Graham]] - Fran Lockwood
* {{w|Will Forte}} - Joe Towne
* {{w|Angela Shelton}} - Regina Devereaux

==See also==
* [[Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (TV series)|Cloudy: The Series]]
* [[Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (film)}}
* {{imdb title|id=0844471|title=Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs}} 
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=cloudy_with_a_chance_of_meatballs|title=Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs}}

[[Category:2009 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy films]]
[[Category:Films about space hazards]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]</text>
      <sha1>7nw4uzfxs8rf4adw79p8k4191n1ihmy</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158671</id>
      <parentid>3158667</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T19:58:43Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>162.197.99.132</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="11608" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (film)|Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs]]''''' is a [[w:2009 in film|2009 film]] about a town where food falls from the sky like rain. It stars the voices of {{w|Bill Hader}} and {{w|Anna Faris}}.

:''Directed and written by {{w|Phil Lord}} and {{w|Christopher Miller}}, based on [[w:Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs|the novel]] by [[w:Judi Barret|Judi Barret]] and [[w:Ron Barrett|Ron Barrett]].''
{{center|'''Prepare to get served'''}}

== Flint Lockwood ==
* ''[first lines; narrating]'' Have you ever felt like you were a little bit different, like you had something unique to offer the world if you could just get people to see it? Then you know exactly how it felt... to be... me. 
* ''[narrating]'' I wanted to run away that day… but you can't run away from your own feet.
* ''[narrating]'' My dream was to help my hometown, a tiny island hidden under the &quot;A&quot; in &quot;Atlantic,&quot; called Swallow Falls. We were famous for sardines until the day the Baby Brent Sardine Cannery closed for good right after everyone in the world realized that sardines are super gross. Soon, all of us were stuck eating the sardines that no one else wanted. Poached, fried, boiled, dried, candied, and juiced. Life became gray and flavorless. But when all seemed lost, I stared at defeat and found hope. My name is Flint Lockwood. And I was about to invent a machine that turns water into food.
* ''[narrating]'' It had been almost 10 years since Mom died. And Dad still didn't understand me like she did.
* It's okay, it's just pain. 
* Come on, Steve. We've got a diem to carpe!

== Sam Sparks ==
* Flint, this is amazing! And designing the ice cream to accumulate into scoops? I don't know how you're gonna top this!
* Thanks, Patrick. Okay, everyone, you're not going to believe this one, but I'm standing in the middle of a burger rain. You can have seen a meteor shower, but you have never seen a shower &quot;meatier&quot; than this. For a town stuck eating sardines, this is totally made out from heaven.
* Well, those cheeseburgers were only the beginning because a breakfast system is on its way to Swallow Falls. My forecast? Sunny… side up.
* Now that's what I call, poultry in motion.
* Leftovers? Not a problem with Flint Lockwood's latest invention, the Outtasighter, so named because it catapults uneaten food out of sight, and therefore, out of mind.
* I scream, you scream, we all scream for Flint Lockwood's latest tasty town-wide treat, with flurries of frozen fun on what the mayor declared to be an ice cream snow day. He'd also like to invite everyone in the world to catch a cruise liner, and come on down this Saturday for the grand opening of Chew And Swallow, a town that is truly ''à la mode.'' With today's scoop for the Weather News Network, I'm Sam Sparks!
* We are about to be in the epicenter of a perfect food storm. It's going to spread across the globe. I've calculated the Coriolis acceleration of the storm system. First, it'll hit New York, then Paris, then the Jiayuguan Pass in eastern China. And in four hours, the entire northern hemisphere will be one big potluck.

== Earl Devereaux ==
* Hey! This mess we're in is all our faults. Me, I didn't even protect my own son. Look, I'm as mad at Flint as you are. In fact, when he gets out of that car, I'm gonna slap him in the face! I know Flint Lockwood made the food, but it was made to order, and now it's time for all of us to pay the bill. 
* My chest hairs are tingling. Something's wrong.

== &quot;Baby&quot; Brent ==
* ''[repeated line]'' Uh, oh!
* ''[running while carrying a pair of giant scissors]'' I really shouldn't be running with these! 
* I'm not Baby Brent anymore.  I'm Chicken Brent, and I'm finally contributing to society!
* Oh, I don't know, I think they're kinda cute. I mean, this one just walked right up to me and– ''[Suddenly, a chicken eats Brent alive; Brent shrieked in terror]'' {{small|'''HE'S ''GOT'' ME!!'''}}

== Patrick Patrickson ==
* Yikes! What is that, a scrunchie? I haven't seen one of those since 1995.

== Dialogue ==

:'''Tim''': Flint, you don't keep throwing your net when there aren't any fish.
:'''Flint''': What?
:'''Tim''': I want you to work full-time at the tackle shop.
:'''Flint''': The tackle shop?! Aw, Dad, no!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Earl''': You see this contact lens, Flint Lockwood?
:'''Flint''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Earl''': This contact lens represents you! 
:'''Flint''':  All right.
:'''Earl''': And my eye represents my eye! 
:'''Flint''': Okay.
:'''Earl''': ''[puts on the contact lens]'' I've got my ''eye'' on... you.
:'''Flint''': Oh, my gosh! A jaywalker.
:'''Earl''': Hey!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam Sparks''': This food weather was created intentionally by meek-ish backyard tinkerer Flint Lockwood.
:'''Officer Earl Devereaux''': ''[shocked]'' Flint Lockwood!?
:'''Flint Lockwood''': ''[nervously]'' Hi…
:'''Earl''': ''[tackles Flint in anger]'' &lt;big&gt;YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR ''RUINING'' SARDINE LAND!!&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Sam''': Flint, those burgers were awesome! The producer called and he was all like, &quot;Everybody loves that food weather.&quot;
:'''Mayor Shelbourne''': Food weather. This could be even bigger than Sardine Land.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': So here's how it works. Water goes in the top, and food comes out the bottom.
:'''Sam''': So when you shot it up into the stratosphere, you figured it would induce a molecular phase change in the vapor from the cumulonimbus layer?
:'''Flint''': That's actually a really smart observation.
:'''Sam''': I mean… The clouds probably have water in them, which, uh, I guess is why you shot it up there in the first place.
:'''Flint''': Right, right. That's why I did it that. On-On purpose.
:'''Sam''': Right. Yeah.
:'''Flint''': ''[in unison]'' Right.
:'''Sam''': ''[in unison]'' Of course.
:'''Flint''': The machine uses a principle hydro-genetic mutation. Water molecules are bombarded with microwave radiation which mutates their genetic recipe into any kind of food you want.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': I've never actually been in a snowball fight.
:'''Sam''': Really?
:'''Flint''': I don't even know the rules. Is there like a point system or is it... ''to the death''?
:'''Sam''': No. You never...? I mean, look, even Steve is throwing chocolate snowballs. Oh, ew.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam''': Can you keep a secret?
:'''Flint''': No. ''[awkward pause]'' But this time, sure. Yeah.
:'''Sam''': ''[sighs]'' Okay. It was a really long time ago, but I too was... a ''nerd''.
:'''Flint''': ''[blankly]'' &quot;Too&quot;?
:'''Sam''': When I was a little girl, I wear a ponytail and glasses, and I was totally obsessed with the science of weather. ''[Flashback to her childhood; voice-over]'' Other girls wanted a Barbie. I wanted a Doppler Weather Radar 2000 Turbo. But all the kids used to taunt me with this lame song. It wasn't even clever.
:'''Kids''': ''[singing while taunting Young Sam]'' ♪ Four eyes! Four eyes! You need glasses to see! ♪
:''[Flashback ends; Flint snickers a bit and Sam looks at him]''
:'''Flint''': Go on.
:'''Sam''': So, I got a new look, gave the science-y smart stuff, and I was never made fun of again. ''[takes her glasses out her pocket]'' And I ''still'' need these glasses, but I never wear them.
:'''Flint''': I bet you'll look great with glasses on.
:'''Sam''': Oh, I'm really…
:'''Flint''': And on they go. ''[puts the glasses on her eyes]''
:'''Sam''': ''[as her vision becomes clear]'' Whoa!
:'''Flint''': What?
:'''Sam''': Nothing.
:'''Flint''': Wait. ''[quickly carves something out of Jell-O]'' It's a Jell-O scrunchie. ''[puts Sam's hair up in a ponytail]'' And now, the reveal. ''[covers his eyes with his and moves it, revealing the real her]'' Wow. I mean, you were okay before, but now you're beautiful.
:'''Sam''': No, I'm not. I can't go out in public like this.
:'''Flint''': Well, why not? I mean, this is the real you, right? Smart. Bespectacled. Who wouldn't wanna see that?
:'''Sam''': You know, I've never met anyone like you, Flint Lockwood.
:'''Flint''': Me either.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': ''[sees spaghetti tornado]'' Mamma mia.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam''': We need a doctor! Is anyone here a doctor? Anyone?
:'''Manny''': I am a doctor.
:'''Sam''': You are?
:'''Manny''': I was, back in Guatemala. I came here for a better life. Pretty great decision, eh?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Manny''': You are going to need a co-pilot.
:'''Sam''': You are a pilot, too?
:'''Manny''': Yes. I am also a particle physicist.
:'''Sam''': Really?
:'''Manny''': No, that was a joke. I am also a comedian. ''[Flint and Sam laugh]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': ''[Hanging from a licorice rope held by Sam, who is swelling up from her peanut allergy]'' Let go, Sam.
:'''Sam''': I'm not gonna let you go! Flint, you'll be stuck down there.
:'''Flint''': It's not ideal, no.
:'''Sam''': Come with us, Flint. We'll live underground, and use bacon for clothes.
:'''Flint''': That's not a very good plan, Sam.
:'''Sam''': It is if I don't have to lose you. Look, I like you, okay?
:'''Flint''': Like... Like as a friend?
:'''Sam''': No, like &quot;like you&quot; like you.
:'''Flint''': Me too. I mean, about you. ''[bites through rope and drops]'' Goodbye, Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint! No!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[last lines]''
:'''Flint''': Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint.
:'''Flint''': Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint.
:'''Tim''': Flint.
:'''Flint''': Dad.
:'''Steve''': Steve!
:'''Tim''': Flint. ''[sighs]'' Look, when you... when you cast your line... if it's not straight, um...
:'''Sam''': Oh, for crying out loud. ''[puts Flint's Monkey Thought Translator on Tim's head]''
:'''Tim''': ''[in a robotic voice]'' I'm proud of you, Flint. I'm amazed that someone as ordinary as me could be the father of someone as extraordinary as you. You're talented, you're a total original, and your lab is breathtaking. Your mom, she, uh, always knew you were going to be special. And if she were alive today, she'd tell us both, &quot;I told you so.&quot; Now, uh, look, when I take this thing off, and... you hear me make a fishing metaphor, just know that fishing metaphor means... ''[Tim takes off the Monkey Translator and speaks in a normal voice]'' I love my son.
:'''Flint''': I love you too, Dad.
:''[the crowd applauds]''
:'''Mayor Shelbourne''': This was not well thought out.

== Voice cast ==
* {{w|Bill Hader}} - Flint Lockwood
** Max Neuwirth (young)

* {{w|Anna Faris}} - Sam Sparks

=== Supporting ===
* {{w|James Caan}} - Tim Lockwood
* [[Andy Samberg]] - &quot;Baby&quot; Brent
* [[Bruce Campbell]] - Mayor Shelbourne
* {{w|Bobb'e J. Thompson}} - Calvin &quot;Cal&quot; Deveraux
* [[Mr. T]] - Officer Earl Devereaux
* {{w|Benjamin Bratt}} - Manny
* [[Neil Patrick Harris]] - Steve

=== Recurring ===
* {{w|Al Roker}} - Patrick Patrickson
* [[Lauren Graham]] - Fran Lockwood
* {{w|Will Forte}} - Joe Towne
* {{w|Angela Shelton}} - Regina Devereaux

==See also==
* [[Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (TV series)|Cloudy: The Series]]
* [[Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (film)}}
* {{imdb title|id=0844471|title=Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs}} 
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=cloudy_with_a_chance_of_meatballs|title=Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs}}

[[Category:2009 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy films]]
[[Category:Films about space hazards]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]</text>
      <sha1>p98e9rb0jvwfktnzmgcitfhtvq8mqz2</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158677</id>
      <parentid>3158671</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T20:14:03Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>162.197.99.132</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Flint Lockwood */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="11975" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (film)|Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs]]''''' is a [[w:2009 in film|2009 film]] about a town where food falls from the sky like rain. It stars the voices of {{w|Bill Hader}} and {{w|Anna Faris}}.

:''Directed and written by {{w|Phil Lord}} and {{w|Christopher Miller}}, based on [[w:Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs|the novel]] by [[w:Judi Barret|Judi Barret]] and [[w:Ron Barrett|Ron Barrett]].''
{{center|'''Prepare to get served'''}}

== Flint Lockwood ==
* ''[first lines; narrating]'' Have you ever felt like you were a little bit different, like you had something unique to offer the world if you could just get people to see it? Then you know exactly how it felt... to be... me. 
* ''[narrating]'' I wanted to run away that day… but you can't run away from your own feet.
* ''[narrating]'' My dream was to help my hometown, a tiny island hidden under the &quot;A&quot; in &quot;Atlantic,&quot; called Swallow Falls. We were famous for sardines until the day the Baby Brent Sardine Cannery closed for good right after everyone in the world realized that sardines are super gross. Soon, all of us were stuck eating the sardines that no one else wanted. Poached, fried, boiled, dried, candied, and juiced. Life became gray and flavorless. But when all seemed lost, I stared at defeat and found hope. My name is Flint Lockwood. And I was about to invent a machine that turns water into food.
* ''[narrating]'' It had been almost 10 years since Mom died. And Dad still didn't understand me like she did.
* This is the molecular structure of a hot dog that fell last week. And this is the molecular structure of a hot dog that fell today. The machine uses microwave radiation to mutate the genetic recipe of the food. The more we ask it to make, the more clouds it takes in, the more radiation it emits, the more these food molecules could over-mutate. I think that’s why the food is getting bigger.
* Come on, Steve. We've got a diem to carpe!

== Sam Sparks ==
* Flint, this is amazing! And designing the ice cream to accumulate into scoops? I don't know how you're gonna top this!
* Thanks, Patrick. Okay, everyone, you're not going to believe this one, but I'm standing in the middle of a burger rain. You can have seen a meteor shower, but you have never seen a shower &quot;meatier&quot; than this. For a town stuck eating sardines, this is totally made out from heaven.
* Well, those cheeseburgers were only the beginning because a breakfast system is on its way to Swallow Falls. My forecast? Sunny… side up.
* Now that's what I call, poultry in motion.
* Leftovers? Not a problem with Flint Lockwood's latest invention, the Outtasighter, so named because it catapults uneaten food out of sight, and therefore, out of mind.
* I scream, you scream, we all scream for Flint Lockwood's latest tasty town-wide treat, with flurries of frozen fun on what the mayor declared to be an ice cream snow day. He'd also like to invite everyone in the world to catch a cruise liner, and come on down this Saturday for the grand opening of Chew And Swallow, a town that is truly ''à la mode.'' With today's scoop for the Weather News Network, I'm Sam Sparks!
* We are about to be in the epicenter of a perfect food storm. It's going to spread across the globe. I've calculated the Coriolis acceleration of the storm system. First, it'll hit New York, then Paris, then the Jiayuguan Pass in eastern China. And in four hours, the entire northern hemisphere will be one big potluck.

== Earl Devereaux ==
* Hey! This mess we're in is all our faults. Me, I didn't even protect my own son. Look, I'm as mad at Flint as you are. In fact, when he gets out of that car, I'm gonna slap him in the face! I know Flint Lockwood made the food, but it was made to order, and now it's time for all of us to pay the bill. 
* My chest hairs are tingling. Something's wrong.

== &quot;Baby&quot; Brent ==
* ''[repeated line]'' Uh, oh!
* ''[running while carrying a pair of giant scissors]'' I really shouldn't be running with these! 
* I'm not Baby Brent anymore.  I'm Chicken Brent, and I'm finally contributing to society!
* Oh, I don't know, I think they're kinda cute. I mean, this one just walked right up to me and– ''[Suddenly, a chicken eats Brent alive; Brent shrieked in terror]'' {{small|'''HE'S ''GOT'' ME!!'''}}

== Patrick Patrickson ==
* Yikes! What is that, a scrunchie? I haven't seen one of those since 1995.

== Dialogue ==

:'''Tim''': Flint, you don't keep throwing your net when there aren't any fish.
:'''Flint''': What?
:'''Tim''': I want you to work full-time at the tackle shop.
:'''Flint''': The tackle shop?! Aw, Dad, no!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Earl''': You see this contact lens, Flint Lockwood?
:'''Flint''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Earl''': This contact lens represents you! 
:'''Flint''':  All right.
:'''Earl''': And my eye represents my eye! 
:'''Flint''': Okay.
:'''Earl''': ''[puts on the contact lens]'' I've got my ''eye'' on... you.
:'''Flint''': Oh, my gosh! A jaywalker.
:'''Earl''': Hey!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam Sparks''': This food weather was created intentionally by meek-ish backyard tinkerer Flint Lockwood.
:'''Officer Earl Devereaux''': ''[shocked]'' Flint Lockwood!?
:'''Flint Lockwood''': ''[nervously]'' Hi…
:'''Earl''': ''[tackles Flint in anger]'' &lt;big&gt;YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR ''RUINING'' SARDINE LAND!!&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Sam''': Flint, those burgers were awesome! The producer called and he was all like, &quot;Everybody loves that food weather.&quot;
:'''Mayor Shelbourne''': Food weather. This could be even bigger than Sardine Land.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': So here's how it works. Water goes in the top, and food comes out the bottom.
:'''Sam''': So when you shot it up into the stratosphere, you figured it would induce a molecular phase change in the vapor from the cumulonimbus layer?
:'''Flint''': That's actually a really smart observation.
:'''Sam''': I mean… The clouds probably have water in them, which, uh, I guess is why you shot it up there in the first place.
:'''Flint''': Right, right. That's why I did it that. On-On purpose.
:'''Sam''': Right. Yeah.
:'''Flint''': ''[in unison]'' Right.
:'''Sam''': ''[in unison]'' Of course.
:'''Flint''': The machine uses a principle hydro-genetic mutation. Water molecules are bombarded with microwave radiation which mutates their genetic recipe into any kind of food you want.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': I've never actually been in a snowball fight.
:'''Sam''': Really?
:'''Flint''': I don't even know the rules. Is there like a point system or is it... ''to the death''?
:'''Sam''': No. You never...? I mean, look, even Steve is throwing chocolate snowballs. Oh, ew.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam''': Can you keep a secret?
:'''Flint''': No. ''[awkward pause]'' But this time, sure. Yeah.
:'''Sam''': ''[sighs]'' Okay. It was a really long time ago, but I too was... a ''nerd''.
:'''Flint''': ''[blankly]'' &quot;Too&quot;?
:'''Sam''': When I was a little girl, I wear a ponytail and glasses, and I was totally obsessed with the science of weather. ''[Flashback to her childhood; voice-over]'' Other girls wanted a Barbie. I wanted a Doppler Weather Radar 2000 Turbo. But all the kids used to taunt me with this lame song. It wasn't even clever.
:'''Kids''': ''[singing while taunting Young Sam]'' ♪ Four eyes! Four eyes! You need glasses to see! ♪
:''[Flashback ends; Flint snickers a bit and Sam looks at him]''
:'''Flint''': Go on.
:'''Sam''': So, I got a new look, gave the science-y smart stuff, and I was never made fun of again. ''[takes her glasses out her pocket]'' And I ''still'' need these glasses, but I never wear them.
:'''Flint''': I bet you'll look great with glasses on.
:'''Sam''': Oh, I'm really…
:'''Flint''': And on they go. ''[puts the glasses on her eyes]''
:'''Sam''': ''[as her vision becomes clear]'' Whoa!
:'''Flint''': What?
:'''Sam''': Nothing.
:'''Flint''': Wait. ''[quickly carves something out of Jell-O]'' It's a Jell-O scrunchie. ''[puts Sam's hair up in a ponytail]'' And now, the reveal. ''[covers his eyes with his and moves it, revealing the real her]'' Wow. I mean, you were okay before, but now you're beautiful.
:'''Sam''': No, I'm not. I can't go out in public like this.
:'''Flint''': Well, why not? I mean, this is the real you, right? Smart. Bespectacled. Who wouldn't wanna see that?
:'''Sam''': You know, I've never met anyone like you, Flint Lockwood.
:'''Flint''': Me either.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': ''[sees spaghetti tornado]'' Mamma mia.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam''': We need a doctor! Is anyone here a doctor? Anyone?
:'''Manny''': I am a doctor.
:'''Sam''': You are?
:'''Manny''': I was, back in Guatemala. I came here for a better life. Pretty great decision, eh?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Manny''': You are going to need a co-pilot.
:'''Sam''': You are a pilot, too?
:'''Manny''': Yes. I am also a particle physicist.
:'''Sam''': Really?
:'''Manny''': No, that was a joke. I am also a comedian. ''[Flint and Sam laugh]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': ''[Hanging from a licorice rope held by Sam, who is swelling up from her peanut allergy]'' Let go, Sam.
:'''Sam''': I'm not gonna let you go! Flint, you'll be stuck down there.
:'''Flint''': It's not ideal, no.
:'''Sam''': Come with us, Flint. We'll live underground, and use bacon for clothes.
:'''Flint''': That's not a very good plan, Sam.
:'''Sam''': It is if I don't have to lose you. Look, I like you, okay?
:'''Flint''': Like... Like as a friend?
:'''Sam''': No, like &quot;like you&quot; like you.
:'''Flint''': Me too. I mean, about you. ''[bites through rope and drops]'' Goodbye, Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint! No!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[last lines]''
:'''Flint''': Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint.
:'''Flint''': Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint.
:'''Tim''': Flint.
:'''Flint''': Dad.
:'''Steve''': Steve!
:'''Tim''': Flint. ''[sighs]'' Look, when you... when you cast your line... if it's not straight, um...
:'''Sam''': Oh, for crying out loud. ''[puts Flint's Monkey Thought Translator on Tim's head]''
:'''Tim''': ''[in a robotic voice]'' I'm proud of you, Flint. I'm amazed that someone as ordinary as me could be the father of someone as extraordinary as you. You're talented, you're a total original, and your lab is breathtaking. Your mom, she, uh, always knew you were going to be special. And if she were alive today, she'd tell us both, &quot;I told you so.&quot; Now, uh, look, when I take this thing off, and... you hear me make a fishing metaphor, just know that fishing metaphor means... ''[Tim takes off the Monkey Translator and speaks in a normal voice]'' I love my son.
:'''Flint''': I love you too, Dad.
:''[the crowd applauds]''
:'''Mayor Shelbourne''': This was not well thought out.

== Voice cast ==
* {{w|Bill Hader}} - Flint Lockwood
** Max Neuwirth (young)

* {{w|Anna Faris}} - Sam Sparks

=== Supporting ===
* {{w|James Caan}} - Tim Lockwood
* [[Andy Samberg]] - &quot;Baby&quot; Brent
* [[Bruce Campbell]] - Mayor Shelbourne
* {{w|Bobb'e J. Thompson}} - Calvin &quot;Cal&quot; Deveraux
* [[Mr. T]] - Officer Earl Devereaux
* {{w|Benjamin Bratt}} - Manny
* [[Neil Patrick Harris]] - Steve

=== Recurring ===
* {{w|Al Roker}} - Patrick Patrickson
* [[Lauren Graham]] - Fran Lockwood
* {{w|Will Forte}} - Joe Towne
* {{w|Angela Shelton}} - Regina Devereaux

==See also==
* [[Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (TV series)|Cloudy: The Series]]
* [[Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (film)}}
* {{imdb title|id=0844471|title=Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs}} 
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=cloudy_with_a_chance_of_meatballs|title=Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs}}

[[Category:2009 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy films]]
[[Category:Films about space hazards]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]</text>
      <sha1>ael1c6nwko7mlfd2hora3gmhiw1u9rr</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158688</id>
      <parentid>3158677</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T21:49:07Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>162.197.99.132</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="12059" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (film)|Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs]]''''' is a [[w:2009 in film|2009 film]] about a town where food falls from the sky like rain. It stars the voices of {{w|Bill Hader}} and {{w|Anna Faris}}.

:''Directed and written by {{w|Phil Lord}} and {{w|Christopher Miller}}, based on [[w:Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs|the novel]] by [[w:Judi Barret|Judi Barret]] and [[w:Ron Barrett|Ron Barrett]].''
{{center|'''Prepare to get served'''}}

== Flint Lockwood ==
* ''[first lines; narrating]'' Have you ever felt like you were a little bit different, like you had something unique to offer the world if you could just get people to see it? Then you know exactly how it felt... to be... me. 
* ''[narrating]'' I wanted to run away that day… but you can't run away from your own feet.
* ''[narrating]'' My dream was to help my hometown, a tiny island hidden under the &quot;A&quot; in &quot;Atlantic,&quot; called Swallow Falls. We were famous for sardines until the day the Baby Brent Sardine Cannery closed for good right after everyone in the world realized that sardines are super gross. Soon, all of us were stuck eating the sardines that no one else wanted. Poached, fried, boiled, dried, candied, and juiced. Life became gray and flavorless. But when all seemed lost, I stared at defeat and found hope. My name is Flint Lockwood. And I was about to invent a machine that turns water into food.
* ''[narrating]'' It had been almost 10 years since Mom died. And Dad still didn't understand me like she did.
* ''[seeing big hot dogs all around]'' These are big hot dogs.
* This is the molecular structure of a hot dog that fell last week. And this is the molecular structure of a hot dog that fell today. The machine uses microwave radiation to mutate the genetic recipe of the food. The more we ask it to make, the more clouds it takes in, the more radiation it emits, the more these food molecules could over-mutate. I think that's why the food is getting bigger.
* Salt and pepper wind? Oregano. ''[sees a spaghetti tornado across the other side]'' Mamma mia.
* Come on, Steve. We've got a diem to carpe!

== Sam Sparks ==
* Flint, this is amazing! And designing the ice cream to accumulate into scoops? I don't know how you're gonna top this!
* Thanks, Patrick. Okay, everyone, you're not going to believe this one, but I'm standing in the middle of a burger rain. You can have seen a meteor shower, but you have never seen a shower &quot;meatier&quot; than this. For a town stuck eating sardines, this is totally made out from heaven.
* Well, those cheeseburgers were only the beginning because a breakfast system is on its way to Swallow Falls. My forecast? Sunny… side up.
* Now that's what I call, poultry in motion.
* Leftovers? Not a problem with Flint Lockwood's latest invention, the Outtasighter, so named because it catapults uneaten food out of sight, and therefore, out of mind.
* I scream, you scream, we all scream for Flint Lockwood's latest tasty town-wide treat, with flurries of frozen fun on what the mayor declared to be an ice cream snow day. He'd also like to invite everyone in the world to catch a cruise liner, and come on down this Saturday for the grand opening of Chew And Swallow, a town that is truly ''à la mode.'' With today's scoop for the Weather News Network, I'm Sam Sparks!
* We are about to be in the epicenter of a perfect food storm. It's going to spread across the globe. I've calculated the Coriolis acceleration of the storm system. First, it'll hit New York, then Paris, then the Jiayuguan Pass in eastern China. And in four hours, the entire northern hemisphere will be one big potluck.

== Earl Devereaux ==
* Hey! This mess we're in is all our faults. Me, I didn't even protect my own son. Look, I'm as mad at Flint as you are. In fact, when he gets out of that car, I'm gonna slap him in the face! I know Flint Lockwood made the food, but it was made to order, and now it's time for all of us to pay the bill. 
* My chest hairs are tingling. Something's wrong.

== &quot;Baby&quot; Brent ==
* ''[repeated line]'' Uh, oh!
* ''[running while carrying a pair of giant scissors]'' I really shouldn't be running with these! 
* I'm not Baby Brent anymore.  I'm Chicken Brent, and I'm finally contributing to society!
* Oh, I don't know, I think they're kinda cute. I mean, this one just walked right up to me and– ''[Suddenly, a chicken eats Brent alive; Brent shrieked in terror]'' {{small|'''HE'S ''GOT'' ME!!'''}}

== Patrick Patrickson ==
* Yikes! What is that, a scrunchie? I haven't seen one of those since 1995.

== Dialogue ==

:'''Tim''': Flint, you don't keep throwing your net when there aren't any fish.
:'''Flint''': What?
:'''Tim''': I want you to work full-time at the tackle shop.
:'''Flint''': The tackle shop?! Aw, Dad, no!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Earl''': You see this contact lens, Flint Lockwood?
:'''Flint''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Earl''': This contact lens represents you! 
:'''Flint''':  All right.
:'''Earl''': And my eye represents my eye! 
:'''Flint''': Okay.
:'''Earl''': ''[puts on the contact lens]'' I've got my ''eye'' on... you.
:'''Flint''': Oh, my gosh! A jaywalker.
:'''Earl''': Hey!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam Sparks''': This food weather was created intentionally by meek-ish backyard tinkerer Flint Lockwood.
:'''Officer Earl Devereaux''': ''[shocked]'' Flint Lockwood!?
:'''Flint Lockwood''': ''[nervously]'' Hi…
:'''Earl''': ''[tackles Flint in anger]'' &lt;big&gt;YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR ''RUINING'' SARDINE LAND!!&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Sam''': Flint, those burgers were awesome! The producer called and he was all like, &quot;Everybody loves that food weather.&quot;
:'''Mayor Shelbourne''': Food weather. This could be even bigger than Sardine Land.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': So here's how it works. Water goes in the top, and food comes out the bottom.
:'''Sam''': So when you shot it up into the stratosphere, you figured it would induce a molecular phase change in the vapor from the cumulonimbus layer?
:'''Flint''': That's actually a really smart observation.
:'''Sam''': I mean… The clouds probably have water in them, which, uh, I guess is why you shot it up there in the first place.
:'''Flint''': Right, right. That's why I did it that. On-On purpose.
:'''Sam''': Right. Yeah.
:'''Flint''': ''[in unison]'' Right.
:'''Sam''': ''[in unison]'' Of course.
:'''Flint''': The machine uses a principle hydro-genetic mutation. Water molecules are bombarded with microwave radiation which mutates their genetic recipe into any kind of food you want.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': I've never actually been in a snowball fight.
:'''Sam''': Really?
:'''Flint''': I don't even know the rules. Is there like a point system or is it... ''to the death''?
:'''Sam''': No. You never...? I mean, look, even Steve is throwing chocolate snowballs. Oh, ew.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam''': Can you keep a secret?
:'''Flint''': No. ''[awkward pause]'' But this time, sure. Yeah.
:'''Sam''': ''[sighs]'' Okay. It was a really long time ago, but I too was... a ''nerd''.
:'''Flint''': ''[blankly]'' &quot;Too&quot;?
:'''Sam''': When I was a little girl, I wear a ponytail and glasses, and I was totally obsessed with the science of weather. ''[Flashback to her childhood; voice-over]'' Other girls wanted a Barbie. I wanted a Doppler Weather Radar 2000 Turbo. But all the kids used to taunt me with this lame song. It wasn't even clever.
:'''Kids''': ''[singing while taunting Young Sam]'' ♪ Four eyes! Four eyes! You need glasses to see! ♪
:''[Flashback ends; Flint snickers a bit and Sam looks at him]''
:'''Flint''': Go on.
:'''Sam''': So, I got a new look, gave the science-y smart stuff, and I was never made fun of again. ''[takes her glasses out her pocket]'' And I ''still'' need these glasses, but I never wear them.
:'''Flint''': I bet you'll look great with glasses on.
:'''Sam''': Oh, I'm really…
:'''Flint''': And on they go. ''[puts the glasses on her eyes]''
:'''Sam''': ''[as her vision becomes clear]'' Whoa!
:'''Flint''': What?
:'''Sam''': Nothing.
:'''Flint''': Wait. ''[quickly carves something out of Jell-O]'' It's a Jell-O scrunchie. ''[puts Sam's hair up in a ponytail]'' And now, the reveal. ''[covers his eyes with his and moves it, revealing the real her]'' Wow. I mean, you were okay before, but now you're beautiful.
:'''Sam''': No, I'm not. I can't go out in public like this.
:'''Flint''': Well, why not? I mean, this is the real you, right? Smart. Bespectacled. Who wouldn't wanna see that?
:'''Sam''': You know, I've never met anyone like you, Flint Lockwood.
:'''Flint''': Me either.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam''': We need a doctor! Is anyone here a doctor? Anyone?
:'''Manny''': I am a doctor.
:'''Sam''': You are?
:'''Manny''': I was, back in Guatemala. I came here for a better life. Pretty great decision, eh?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Manny''': You are going to need a co-pilot.
:'''Sam''': You are a pilot, too?
:'''Manny''': Yes. I am also a particle physicist.
:'''Sam''': Really?
:'''Manny''': No, that was a joke. I am also a comedian. ''[Flint and Sam laugh]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': ''[Hanging from a licorice rope held by Sam, who is swelling up from her peanut allergy]'' Let go, Sam.
:'''Sam''': I'm not gonna let you go! Flint, you'll be stuck down there.
:'''Flint''': It's not ideal, no.
:'''Sam''': Come with us, Flint. We'll live underground, and use bacon for clothes.
:'''Flint''': That's not a very good plan, Sam.
:'''Sam''': It is if I don't have to lose you. Look, I like you, okay?
:'''Flint''': Like... Like as a friend?
:'''Sam''': No, like &quot;like you&quot; like you.
:'''Flint''': Me too. I mean, about you. ''[bites through rope and drops]'' Goodbye, Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint! No!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[last lines]''
:'''Flint''': Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint.
:'''Flint''': Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint.
:'''Tim''': Flint.
:'''Flint''': Dad.
:'''Steve''': Steve!
:'''Tim''': Flint. ''[sighs]'' Look, when you... when you cast your line... if it's not straight, um...
:'''Sam''': Oh, for crying out loud. ''[puts Flint's Monkey Thought Translator on Tim's head]''
:'''Tim''': ''[in a robotic voice]'' I'm proud of you, Flint. I'm amazed that someone as ordinary as me could be the father of someone as extraordinary as you. You're talented, you're a total original, and your lab is breathtaking. Your mom, she, uh, always knew you were going to be special. And if she were alive today, she'd tell us both, &quot;I told you so.&quot; Now, uh, look, when I take this thing off, and... you hear me make a fishing metaphor, just know that fishing metaphor means... ''[Tim takes off the Monkey Translator and speaks in a normal voice]'' I love my son.
:'''Flint''': I love you too, Dad.
:''[the crowd applauds]''
:'''Mayor Shelbourne''': This was not well thought out.

== Voice cast ==
* {{w|Bill Hader}} - Flint Lockwood
** Max Neuwirth (young)

* {{w|Anna Faris}} - Sam Sparks

=== Supporting ===
* {{w|James Caan}} - Tim Lockwood
* [[Andy Samberg]] - &quot;Baby&quot; Brent
* [[Bruce Campbell]] - Mayor Shelbourne
* {{w|Bobb'e J. Thompson}} - Calvin &quot;Cal&quot; Deveraux
* [[Mr. T]] - Officer Earl Devereaux
* {{w|Benjamin Bratt}} - Manny
* [[Neil Patrick Harris]] - Steve

=== Recurring ===
* {{w|Al Roker}} - Patrick Patrickson
* [[Lauren Graham]] - Fran Lockwood
* {{w|Will Forte}} - Joe Towne
* {{w|Angela Shelton}} - Regina Devereaux

==See also==
* [[Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (TV series)|Cloudy: The Series]]
* [[Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (film)}}
* {{imdb title|id=0844471|title=Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs}} 
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=cloudy_with_a_chance_of_meatballs|title=Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs}}

[[Category:2009 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy films]]
[[Category:Films about space hazards]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]</text>
      <sha1>qw7nhyty749lpzuh8dgr52uvhzst6ja</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158689</id>
      <parentid>3158688</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T21:54:12Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>162.197.99.132</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Sam Sparks */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="12177" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (film)|Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs]]''''' is a [[w:2009 in film|2009 film]] about a town where food falls from the sky like rain. It stars the voices of {{w|Bill Hader}} and {{w|Anna Faris}}.

:''Directed and written by {{w|Phil Lord}} and {{w|Christopher Miller}}, based on [[w:Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs|the novel]] by [[w:Judi Barret|Judi Barret]] and [[w:Ron Barrett|Ron Barrett]].''
{{center|'''Prepare to get served'''}}

== Flint Lockwood ==
* ''[first lines; narrating]'' Have you ever felt like you were a little bit different, like you had something unique to offer the world if you could just get people to see it? Then you know exactly how it felt... to be... me. 
* ''[narrating]'' I wanted to run away that day… but you can't run away from your own feet.
* ''[narrating]'' My dream was to help my hometown, a tiny island hidden under the &quot;A&quot; in &quot;Atlantic,&quot; called Swallow Falls. We were famous for sardines until the day the Baby Brent Sardine Cannery closed for good right after everyone in the world realized that sardines are super gross. Soon, all of us were stuck eating the sardines that no one else wanted. Poached, fried, boiled, dried, candied, and juiced. Life became gray and flavorless. But when all seemed lost, I stared at defeat and found hope. My name is Flint Lockwood. And I was about to invent a machine that turns water into food.
* ''[narrating]'' It had been almost 10 years since Mom died. And Dad still didn't understand me like she did.
* ''[seeing big hot dogs all around]'' These are big hot dogs.
* This is the molecular structure of a hot dog that fell last week. And this is the molecular structure of a hot dog that fell today. The machine uses microwave radiation to mutate the genetic recipe of the food. The more we ask it to make, the more clouds it takes in, the more radiation it emits, the more these food molecules could over-mutate. I think that's why the food is getting bigger.
* Salt and pepper wind? Oregano. ''[sees a spaghetti tornado across the other side]'' Mamma mia.
* Come on, Steve. We've got a diem to carpe!

== Sam Sparks ==
* Flint, this is amazing! And designing the ice cream to accumulate into scoops? I don't know how you're gonna top this!
* Thanks, Patrick. Okay, everyone, you're not going to believe this one, but I'm standing in the middle of a burger rain. You can have seen a meteor shower, but you have never seen a shower &quot;meatier&quot; than this. For a town stuck eating sardines, this is totally made out from heaven.
* Well, those cheeseburgers were only the beginning because a breakfast system is on its way to Swallow Falls. My forecast? Sunny… side up.
* Now that's what I call, poultry in motion.
* Leftovers? Not a problem with Flint Lockwood's latest invention, the Outtasighter, so named because it catapults uneaten food out of sight, and therefore, out of mind.
* I scream, you scream, we all scream for Flint Lockwood's latest tasty town-wide treat, with flurries of frozen fun on what the mayor declared to be an ice cream snow day. He'd also like to invite everyone in the world to catch a cruise liner, and come on down this Saturday for the grand opening of Chew And Swallow, a town that is truly ''à la mode.'' With today's scoop for the Weather News Network, I'm Sam Sparks!
* We are about to be in the epicenter of a perfect food storm. It's going to spread across the globe. I've calculated the Coriolis acceleration of the storm system. First, it'll hit New York, then Paris, then the Jiayuguan Pass in eastern China. And in four hours, the entire northern hemisphere will be one big potluck.
* Where's Flint? ''[looks outside as the meateroid explodes; despaired]'' '''''NO!!!'''''
* Your son was a great man.

== Earl Devereaux ==
* Hey! This mess we're in is all our faults. Me, I didn't even protect my own son. Look, I'm as mad at Flint as you are. In fact, when he gets out of that car, I'm gonna slap him in the face! I know Flint Lockwood made the food, but it was made to order, and now it's time for all of us to pay the bill. 
* My chest hairs are tingling. Something's wrong.

== &quot;Baby&quot; Brent ==
* ''[repeated line]'' Uh, oh!
* ''[running while carrying a pair of giant scissors]'' I really shouldn't be running with these! 
* I'm not Baby Brent anymore.  I'm Chicken Brent, and I'm finally contributing to society!
* Oh, I don't know, I think they're kinda cute. I mean, this one just walked right up to me and– ''[Suddenly, a chicken eats Brent alive; Brent shrieked in terror]'' {{small|'''HE'S ''GOT'' ME!!'''}}

== Patrick Patrickson ==
* Yikes! What is that, a scrunchie? I haven't seen one of those since 1995.

== Dialogue ==

:'''Tim''': Flint, you don't keep throwing your net when there aren't any fish.
:'''Flint''': What?
:'''Tim''': I want you to work full-time at the tackle shop.
:'''Flint''': The tackle shop?! Aw, Dad, no!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Earl''': You see this contact lens, Flint Lockwood?
:'''Flint''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Earl''': This contact lens represents you! 
:'''Flint''':  All right.
:'''Earl''': And my eye represents my eye! 
:'''Flint''': Okay.
:'''Earl''': ''[puts on the contact lens]'' I've got my ''eye'' on... you.
:'''Flint''': Oh, my gosh! A jaywalker.
:'''Earl''': Hey!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam Sparks''': This food weather was created intentionally by meek-ish backyard tinkerer Flint Lockwood.
:'''Officer Earl Devereaux''': ''[shocked]'' Flint Lockwood!?
:'''Flint Lockwood''': ''[nervously]'' Hi…
:'''Earl''': ''[tackles Flint in anger]'' &lt;big&gt;YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR ''RUINING'' SARDINE LAND!!&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Sam''': Flint, those burgers were awesome! The producer called and he was all like, &quot;Everybody loves that food weather.&quot;
:'''Mayor Shelbourne''': Food weather. This could be even bigger than Sardine Land.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': So here's how it works. Water goes in the top, and food comes out the bottom.
:'''Sam''': So when you shot it up into the stratosphere, you figured it would induce a molecular phase change in the vapor from the cumulonimbus layer?
:'''Flint''': That's actually a really smart observation.
:'''Sam''': I mean… The clouds probably have water in them, which, uh, I guess is why you shot it up there in the first place.
:'''Flint''': Right, right. That's why I did it that. On-On purpose.
:'''Sam''': Right. Yeah.
:'''Flint''': ''[in unison]'' Right.
:'''Sam''': ''[in unison]'' Of course.
:'''Flint''': The machine uses a principle hydro-genetic mutation. Water molecules are bombarded with microwave radiation which mutates their genetic recipe into any kind of food you want.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': I've never actually been in a snowball fight.
:'''Sam''': Really?
:'''Flint''': I don't even know the rules. Is there like a point system or is it... ''to the death''?
:'''Sam''': No. You never...? I mean, look, even Steve is throwing chocolate snowballs. Oh, ew.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam''': Can you keep a secret?
:'''Flint''': No. ''[awkward pause]'' But this time, sure. Yeah.
:'''Sam''': ''[sighs]'' Okay. It was a really long time ago, but I too was... a ''nerd''.
:'''Flint''': ''[blankly]'' &quot;Too&quot;?
:'''Sam''': When I was a little girl, I wear a ponytail and glasses, and I was totally obsessed with the science of weather. ''[Flashback to her childhood; voice-over]'' Other girls wanted a Barbie. I wanted a Doppler Weather Radar 2000 Turbo. But all the kids used to taunt me with this lame song. It wasn't even clever.
:'''Kids''': ''[singing while taunting Young Sam]'' ♪ Four eyes! Four eyes! You need glasses to see! ♪
:''[Flashback ends; Flint snickers a bit and Sam looks at him]''
:'''Flint''': Go on.
:'''Sam''': So, I got a new look, gave the science-y smart stuff, and I was never made fun of again. ''[takes her glasses out her pocket]'' And I ''still'' need these glasses, but I never wear them.
:'''Flint''': I bet you'll look great with glasses on.
:'''Sam''': Oh, I'm really…
:'''Flint''': And on they go. ''[puts the glasses on her eyes]''
:'''Sam''': ''[as her vision becomes clear]'' Whoa!
:'''Flint''': What?
:'''Sam''': Nothing.
:'''Flint''': Wait. ''[quickly carves something out of Jell-O]'' It's a Jell-O scrunchie. ''[puts Sam's hair up in a ponytail]'' And now, the reveal. ''[covers his eyes with his and moves it, revealing the real her]'' Wow. I mean, you were okay before, but now you're beautiful.
:'''Sam''': No, I'm not. I can't go out in public like this.
:'''Flint''': Well, why not? I mean, this is the real you, right? Smart. Bespectacled. Who wouldn't wanna see that?
:'''Sam''': You know, I've never met anyone like you, Flint Lockwood.
:'''Flint''': Me either.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam''': We need a doctor! Is anyone here a doctor? Anyone?
:'''Manny''': I am a doctor.
:'''Sam''': You are?
:'''Manny''': I was, back in Guatemala. I came here for a better life. Pretty great decision, eh?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Manny''': You are going to need a co-pilot.
:'''Sam''': You are a pilot, too?
:'''Manny''': Yes. I am also a particle physicist.
:'''Sam''': Really?
:'''Manny''': No, that was a joke. I am also a comedian. ''[Flint and Sam laugh]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': ''[Hanging from a licorice rope held by Sam, who is swelling up from her peanut allergy]'' Let go, Sam.
:'''Sam''': I'm not gonna let you go! Flint, you'll be stuck down there.
:'''Flint''': It's not ideal, no.
:'''Sam''': Come with us, Flint. We'll live underground, and use bacon for clothes.
:'''Flint''': That's not a very good plan, Sam.
:'''Sam''': It is if I don't have to lose you. Look, I like you, okay?
:'''Flint''': Like... Like as a friend?
:'''Sam''': No, like &quot;like you&quot; like you.
:'''Flint''': Me too. I mean, about you. ''[bites through rope and drops]'' Goodbye, Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint! No!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[last lines]''
:'''Flint''': Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint.
:'''Flint''': Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint.
:'''Tim''': Flint.
:'''Flint''': Dad.
:'''Steve''': Steve!
:'''Tim''': Flint. ''[sighs]'' Look, when you... when you cast your line... if it's not straight, um...
:'''Sam''': Oh, for crying out loud. ''[puts Flint's Monkey Thought Translator on Tim's head]''
:'''Tim''': ''[in a robotic voice]'' I'm proud of you, Flint. I'm amazed that someone as ordinary as me could be the father of someone as extraordinary as you. You're talented, you're a total original, and your lab is breathtaking. Your mom, she, uh, always knew you were going to be special. And if she were alive today, she'd tell us both, &quot;I told you so.&quot; Now, uh, look, when I take this thing off, and... you hear me make a fishing metaphor, just know that fishing metaphor means... ''[Tim takes off the Monkey Translator and speaks in a normal voice]'' I love my son.
:'''Flint''': I love you too, Dad.
:''[the crowd applauds]''
:'''Mayor Shelbourne''': This was not well thought out.

== Voice cast ==
* {{w|Bill Hader}} - Flint Lockwood
** Max Neuwirth (young)

* {{w|Anna Faris}} - Sam Sparks

=== Supporting ===
* {{w|James Caan}} - Tim Lockwood
* [[Andy Samberg]] - &quot;Baby&quot; Brent
* [[Bruce Campbell]] - Mayor Shelbourne
* {{w|Bobb'e J. Thompson}} - Calvin &quot;Cal&quot; Deveraux
* [[Mr. T]] - Officer Earl Devereaux
* {{w|Benjamin Bratt}} - Manny
* [[Neil Patrick Harris]] - Steve

=== Recurring ===
* {{w|Al Roker}} - Patrick Patrickson
* [[Lauren Graham]] - Fran Lockwood
* {{w|Will Forte}} - Joe Towne
* {{w|Angela Shelton}} - Regina Devereaux

==See also==
* [[Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (TV series)|Cloudy: The Series]]
* [[Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (film)}}
* {{imdb title|id=0844471|title=Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs}} 
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=cloudy_with_a_chance_of_meatballs|title=Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs}}

[[Category:2009 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy films]]
[[Category:Films about space hazards]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]</text>
      <sha1>hldllgdimkchugy6d4qgd3ii8lfg0kn</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158690</id>
      <parentid>3158689</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T21:54:31Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>162.197.99.132</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Sam Sparks */</comment>
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'''''[[w:Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (film)|Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs]]''''' is a [[w:2009 in film|2009 film]] about a town where food falls from the sky like rain. It stars the voices of {{w|Bill Hader}} and {{w|Anna Faris}}.

:''Directed and written by {{w|Phil Lord}} and {{w|Christopher Miller}}, based on [[w:Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs|the novel]] by [[w:Judi Barret|Judi Barret]] and [[w:Ron Barrett|Ron Barrett]].''
{{center|'''Prepare to get served'''}}

== Flint Lockwood ==
* ''[first lines; narrating]'' Have you ever felt like you were a little bit different, like you had something unique to offer the world if you could just get people to see it? Then you know exactly how it felt... to be... me. 
* ''[narrating]'' I wanted to run away that day… but you can't run away from your own feet.
* ''[narrating]'' My dream was to help my hometown, a tiny island hidden under the &quot;A&quot; in &quot;Atlantic,&quot; called Swallow Falls. We were famous for sardines until the day the Baby Brent Sardine Cannery closed for good right after everyone in the world realized that sardines are super gross. Soon, all of us were stuck eating the sardines that no one else wanted. Poached, fried, boiled, dried, candied, and juiced. Life became gray and flavorless. But when all seemed lost, I stared at defeat and found hope. My name is Flint Lockwood. And I was about to invent a machine that turns water into food.
* ''[narrating]'' It had been almost 10 years since Mom died. And Dad still didn't understand me like she did.
* ''[seeing big hot dogs all around]'' These are big hot dogs.
* This is the molecular structure of a hot dog that fell last week. And this is the molecular structure of a hot dog that fell today. The machine uses microwave radiation to mutate the genetic recipe of the food. The more we ask it to make, the more clouds it takes in, the more radiation it emits, the more these food molecules could over-mutate. I think that's why the food is getting bigger.
* Salt and pepper wind? Oregano. ''[sees a spaghetti tornado across the other side]'' Mamma mia.
* Come on, Steve. We've got a diem to carpe!

== Sam Sparks ==
* Flint, this is amazing! And designing the ice cream to accumulate into scoops? I don't know how you're gonna top this!
* Thanks, Patrick. Okay, everyone, you're not going to believe this one, but I'm standing in the middle of a burger rain. You can have seen a meteor shower, but you have never seen a shower &quot;meatier&quot; than this. For a town stuck eating sardines, this is totally made out from heaven.
* Well, those cheeseburgers were only the beginning because a breakfast system is on its way to Swallow Falls. My forecast? Sunny… side up.
* Now that's what I call, poultry in motion.
* Leftovers? Not a problem with Flint Lockwood's latest invention, the Outtasighter, so named because it catapults uneaten food out of sight, and therefore, out of mind.
* I scream, you scream, we all scream for Flint Lockwood's latest tasty town-wide treat, with flurries of frozen fun on what the mayor declared to be an ice cream snow day. He'd also like to invite everyone in the world to catch a cruise liner, and come on down this Saturday for the grand opening of Chew And Swallow, a town that is truly ''à la mode.'' With today's scoop for the Weather News Network, I'm Sam Sparks!
* We are about to be in the epicenter of a perfect food storm. It's going to spread across the globe. I've calculated the Coriolis acceleration of the storm system. First, it'll hit New York, then Paris, then the Jiayuguan Pass in eastern China. And in four hours, the entire northern hemisphere will be one big potluck.
* Where's Flint? ''[looks outside as the meateroid explodes; despaired]'' '''''NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!'''''
* Your son was a great man.

== Earl Devereaux ==
* Hey! This mess we're in is all our faults. Me, I didn't even protect my own son. Look, I'm as mad at Flint as you are. In fact, when he gets out of that car, I'm gonna slap him in the face! I know Flint Lockwood made the food, but it was made to order, and now it's time for all of us to pay the bill. 
* My chest hairs are tingling. Something's wrong.

== &quot;Baby&quot; Brent ==
* ''[repeated line]'' Uh, oh!
* ''[running while carrying a pair of giant scissors]'' I really shouldn't be running with these! 
* I'm not Baby Brent anymore.  I'm Chicken Brent, and I'm finally contributing to society!
* Oh, I don't know, I think they're kinda cute. I mean, this one just walked right up to me and– ''[Suddenly, a chicken eats Brent alive; Brent shrieked in terror]'' {{small|'''HE'S ''GOT'' ME!!'''}}

== Patrick Patrickson ==
* Yikes! What is that, a scrunchie? I haven't seen one of those since 1995.

== Dialogue ==

:'''Tim''': Flint, you don't keep throwing your net when there aren't any fish.
:'''Flint''': What?
:'''Tim''': I want you to work full-time at the tackle shop.
:'''Flint''': The tackle shop?! Aw, Dad, no!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Earl''': You see this contact lens, Flint Lockwood?
:'''Flint''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Earl''': This contact lens represents you! 
:'''Flint''':  All right.
:'''Earl''': And my eye represents my eye! 
:'''Flint''': Okay.
:'''Earl''': ''[puts on the contact lens]'' I've got my ''eye'' on... you.
:'''Flint''': Oh, my gosh! A jaywalker.
:'''Earl''': Hey!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam Sparks''': This food weather was created intentionally by meek-ish backyard tinkerer Flint Lockwood.
:'''Officer Earl Devereaux''': ''[shocked]'' Flint Lockwood!?
:'''Flint Lockwood''': ''[nervously]'' Hi…
:'''Earl''': ''[tackles Flint in anger]'' &lt;big&gt;YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR ''RUINING'' SARDINE LAND!!&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Sam''': Flint, those burgers were awesome! The producer called and he was all like, &quot;Everybody loves that food weather.&quot;
:'''Mayor Shelbourne''': Food weather. This could be even bigger than Sardine Land.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': So here's how it works. Water goes in the top, and food comes out the bottom.
:'''Sam''': So when you shot it up into the stratosphere, you figured it would induce a molecular phase change in the vapor from the cumulonimbus layer?
:'''Flint''': That's actually a really smart observation.
:'''Sam''': I mean… The clouds probably have water in them, which, uh, I guess is why you shot it up there in the first place.
:'''Flint''': Right, right. That's why I did it that. On-On purpose.
:'''Sam''': Right. Yeah.
:'''Flint''': ''[in unison]'' Right.
:'''Sam''': ''[in unison]'' Of course.
:'''Flint''': The machine uses a principle hydro-genetic mutation. Water molecules are bombarded with microwave radiation which mutates their genetic recipe into any kind of food you want.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': I've never actually been in a snowball fight.
:'''Sam''': Really?
:'''Flint''': I don't even know the rules. Is there like a point system or is it... ''to the death''?
:'''Sam''': No. You never...? I mean, look, even Steve is throwing chocolate snowballs. Oh, ew.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam''': Can you keep a secret?
:'''Flint''': No. ''[awkward pause]'' But this time, sure. Yeah.
:'''Sam''': ''[sighs]'' Okay. It was a really long time ago, but I too was... a ''nerd''.
:'''Flint''': ''[blankly]'' &quot;Too&quot;?
:'''Sam''': When I was a little girl, I wear a ponytail and glasses, and I was totally obsessed with the science of weather. ''[Flashback to her childhood; voice-over]'' Other girls wanted a Barbie. I wanted a Doppler Weather Radar 2000 Turbo. But all the kids used to taunt me with this lame song. It wasn't even clever.
:'''Kids''': ''[singing while taunting Young Sam]'' ♪ Four eyes! Four eyes! You need glasses to see! ♪
:''[Flashback ends; Flint snickers a bit and Sam looks at him]''
:'''Flint''': Go on.
:'''Sam''': So, I got a new look, gave the science-y smart stuff, and I was never made fun of again. ''[takes her glasses out her pocket]'' And I ''still'' need these glasses, but I never wear them.
:'''Flint''': I bet you'll look great with glasses on.
:'''Sam''': Oh, I'm really…
:'''Flint''': And on they go. ''[puts the glasses on her eyes]''
:'''Sam''': ''[as her vision becomes clear]'' Whoa!
:'''Flint''': What?
:'''Sam''': Nothing.
:'''Flint''': Wait. ''[quickly carves something out of Jell-O]'' It's a Jell-O scrunchie. ''[puts Sam's hair up in a ponytail]'' And now, the reveal. ''[covers his eyes with his and moves it, revealing the real her]'' Wow. I mean, you were okay before, but now you're beautiful.
:'''Sam''': No, I'm not. I can't go out in public like this.
:'''Flint''': Well, why not? I mean, this is the real you, right? Smart. Bespectacled. Who wouldn't wanna see that?
:'''Sam''': You know, I've never met anyone like you, Flint Lockwood.
:'''Flint''': Me either.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sam''': We need a doctor! Is anyone here a doctor? Anyone?
:'''Manny''': I am a doctor.
:'''Sam''': You are?
:'''Manny''': I was, back in Guatemala. I came here for a better life. Pretty great decision, eh?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Manny''': You are going to need a co-pilot.
:'''Sam''': You are a pilot, too?
:'''Manny''': Yes. I am also a particle physicist.
:'''Sam''': Really?
:'''Manny''': No, that was a joke. I am also a comedian. ''[Flint and Sam laugh]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Flint''': ''[Hanging from a licorice rope held by Sam, who is swelling up from her peanut allergy]'' Let go, Sam.
:'''Sam''': I'm not gonna let you go! Flint, you'll be stuck down there.
:'''Flint''': It's not ideal, no.
:'''Sam''': Come with us, Flint. We'll live underground, and use bacon for clothes.
:'''Flint''': That's not a very good plan, Sam.
:'''Sam''': It is if I don't have to lose you. Look, I like you, okay?
:'''Flint''': Like... Like as a friend?
:'''Sam''': No, like &quot;like you&quot; like you.
:'''Flint''': Me too. I mean, about you. ''[bites through rope and drops]'' Goodbye, Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint! No!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[last lines]''
:'''Flint''': Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint.
:'''Flint''': Sam.
:'''Sam''': Flint.
:'''Tim''': Flint.
:'''Flint''': Dad.
:'''Steve''': Steve!
:'''Tim''': Flint. ''[sighs]'' Look, when you... when you cast your line... if it's not straight, um...
:'''Sam''': Oh, for crying out loud. ''[puts Flint's Monkey Thought Translator on Tim's head]''
:'''Tim''': ''[in a robotic voice]'' I'm proud of you, Flint. I'm amazed that someone as ordinary as me could be the father of someone as extraordinary as you. You're talented, you're a total original, and your lab is breathtaking. Your mom, she, uh, always knew you were going to be special. And if she were alive today, she'd tell us both, &quot;I told you so.&quot; Now, uh, look, when I take this thing off, and... you hear me make a fishing metaphor, just know that fishing metaphor means... ''[Tim takes off the Monkey Translator and speaks in a normal voice]'' I love my son.
:'''Flint''': I love you too, Dad.
:''[the crowd applauds]''
:'''Mayor Shelbourne''': This was not well thought out.

== Voice cast ==
* {{w|Bill Hader}} - Flint Lockwood
** Max Neuwirth (young)

* {{w|Anna Faris}} - Sam Sparks

=== Supporting ===
* {{w|James Caan}} - Tim Lockwood
* [[Andy Samberg]] - &quot;Baby&quot; Brent
* [[Bruce Campbell]] - Mayor Shelbourne
* {{w|Bobb'e J. Thompson}} - Calvin &quot;Cal&quot; Deveraux
* [[Mr. T]] - Officer Earl Devereaux
* {{w|Benjamin Bratt}} - Manny
* [[Neil Patrick Harris]] - Steve

=== Recurring ===
* {{w|Al Roker}} - Patrick Patrickson
* [[Lauren Graham]] - Fran Lockwood
* {{w|Will Forte}} - Joe Towne
* {{w|Angela Shelton}} - Regina Devereaux

==See also==
* [[Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (TV series)|Cloudy: The Series]]
* [[Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (film)}}
* {{imdb title|id=0844471|title=Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs}} 
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=cloudy_with_a_chance_of_meatballs|title=Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs}}

[[Category:2009 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy films]]
[[Category:Films about space hazards]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>New York City</title>
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      <text bytes="56546" xml:space="preserve">[[File:One World Trade Center Aug 15, 2013.jpg|thumb|New York: where everyone mutinies but no one deserts. ~ Harry Hershfield]]
[[File:Flag of New York City.svg|thumb|New York, I love you. But, you're bringing me down. Like a rat in a cage, pulling minimum wage. ~ [[w:LCD Soundsystem|LCD Soundsystem]]]]
[[File:Seal of New York City.svg|thumb|If I can make it there, I'm going to make it anywhere! It's up to you, New York! New York! ~ Frank Sinatra]]
'''[[w:New York City|New York City]]''', officially known as '''New York''', is the largest city of the [[United States]] by population, with 8.6 million residents in 2016. It was settled in 1613 by Dutch and originally called '''New Amsterdam'''. New York  is popularly known as the &quot;Big Apple&quot;, &quot;Gotham City&quot;, &quot;Empire City&quot;, &quot;Fun City&quot;, &quot;The Naked City&quot;, and the &quot;City That Never Sleeps&quot;. [[w:New York County|Manhattan Island]] is often referred to as &quot;The City&quot; by New Yorkers, despite being only one part of the city itself. New York  is often referred to as &quot;the Capital of the World&quot;, due to its size, wealth, and for its hosting of the [[United Nations]] organization headquarters.
__NOTOC__

{{TOCalpha|''[[#Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations|Hoyt's&amp;nbsp;New&amp;nbsp;Cyclopedia&amp;nbsp;Of&amp;nbsp;Practical&amp;nbsp;Quotations]]'' · ''[[#Songs|Songs]]'' . ''[[#Dialogue|Dialogue]]'' }}

== Quotes ==
:&lt;small&gt;Sorted alphabetically by author or source&lt;/small&gt;

==A==
* The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.
** [[Douglas Adams]], &quot;Mostly Harmless&quot;.

==B==
* New York is the only city in the world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian.
** [[Russell Baker]], reported in Rand Lindsly's Quotations.

* A certified geezer is also freer to express displeasure. Once I was walking in midtown Manhattan at rush hour, and I came to a massive traffic jam, horns honking everywhere, and right in the middle of a major intersection, the center of the whole mess, was a taxi driver honking at a very elderly man who was standing directly in front of the cab, blocking its path, and hitting it with his umbrella. WHAP the umbrella would go, on the hood. Then, very slowly, the elderly man would raise it into the air, over his head, where it would waver for a second and then... WHAP it would come down on the hood again. I stopped to watch, along with a large crowd of New Yorkers, who have an inbred genetic hatred of taxi drivers and who cheered louder with every WHAP. Nobody made any effort to move the elderly man out of the way. He was doing exactly what we'd all wanted to do a million times, but we couldn't because we'd get run over or arrested. I finally had to leave, but I like to think that the reason New York traffic is always so screwed up is that the elderly man is still in that intersection, whapping away. So for my money, geezerhood is definitely the way to go. In fact, you might want to start practicing right now.
** [[Dave Barry]], ''Dave Barry Turns 40'' (1990). New York: Crown Publishers, p. 176-177

* I'll give you another example of what I'm talking about. We've traveled extensively in the United States, and our son often travels with us, and when he does we always try to arrange to have one of those folding beds for him in our hotel room. Beth always calls the hotel in advance and asks them to please write down that we want a folding bed. She calls later to confirm that there will be a folding bed. When we check in, we always remind them that we need a folding bed. So needless to say, there has never- not ''once'', in ten years, in dozens and dozens of hotels- been an actual folding bed in our room when we got there. We ''always'' have to call Housekeeping tto ask for it, and nothing happens, so we call again, and maybe again, and of course Housekeeping is not happy about this- ''These damned guests! Always calling Housekeeping and requesting Housekeeping services!&quot;''- and then finally, often late at night, our folding bed will be brought to us by a person who is obviously annoyed about having to deliver beds in the middle of the night to people who should have thought of this earlier. Naturally, I always give this person a tip. In Japan, the bed was always there, at every hotel, when we checked in. This may seem minor to you, but to us it was a miracle, comparable in scope to having a total stranger hold a door open for you in New York City.
** [[Dave Barry]], ''Dave Barry Does Japan'' (1992), p. 48-49

* Two invasive species in particular have caused serious concern: Burmese pythons, and New Yorkers. The New Yorkers have been coming for years, which is weird because pretty much all they do once they get to Florida is bitch about how everything here sucks compared to the earthly paradise that is New York. They continue to root, loudly, for the Jets, the Knicks, the Mets, and the Yankees; they never stop declaring, loudly, that in New York the restaurants are better, the stores are nicer, the people are smarter, the public transportation is free of sharks, etc. The Burmese pythons are less obnoxious, but just as alarming in their own way. These are snakes that started out as pets of Miami residents, until one day these residents stopped smoking crack and said, &quot;Jesus H. Christ! We're living with a giant snake!&quot;
** [[Dave Barry]], ''I'll Mature When I'm Dead'' (2010), p. 84-85

* Everybody ought to have a lower East Side in their life.
** [[Irving Berlin]], ''Vogue'' (Nov. 1, 1962)

* You know what’s great about New York? The threshold for citizenship as a New Yorker is actually pretty short. If you come to New York and you still like it two years after you arrived here, and you still think it’s great and you’re having a good time and you haven’t been just totally ground down and go limping back to wherever the fuck you came from, you know what? You’re in!
** [[Anthony Bourdain]] The Layover - New York City

* I can't see heaven but I credit hell — &lt;br /&gt; I live in New York so I know it well.
** [[John Brunner]], ''Stand on Zanzibar'' (1968), the happening world (6): &quot;Street Seen&quot;

==C==
[[File:Manhattan skyline.jpg|thumb|Manhattan. Sometimes from beyond the skyscrapers, across thousands of high walls, the fearful cry of a too-well-known voice finds you in your insomnia in the middle of the night, and you remember that this desert of iron and cement is an island of un-reality. ~ [[Albert Camus]]]]
[[File:Clock in BandW at Grand Central.JPG|thumb|New York is the only real city-city. ~ [[Truman Capote]]]]
[[File:Sunrise in Midtown, New York City - January 16, 2013.jpg|thumb|These streets will make you feel brand new. Big lights will inspire you, let's hear it for New York. New York, New York. ~ [[Jay-Z|Shawn Carter]]]]
* Manhattan. Sometimes from beyond the [[Skyscraper|skyscrapers]], across thousands of high walls, the fearful cry of a too-well-known voice finds you in your insomnia in the middle of the night, and you remember that this desert of iron and cement is an island of un-reality.
** [[Albert Camus]], ''American Journals'' (1978).

* New York is the only real city-city.
** [[Truman Capote]], Quoted by James A. Clapp in [http://books.google.com/books?id=xgypAgAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PA69&amp;dq=%22New+York+is+the+only+real+city-city%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=DfLoU5u_HtPcoATv24CQBg&amp;ved=0CB4Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&amp;q=%22New%20York%20is%20the%20only%20real%20city-city%22&amp;f=false ''The City: A Dictionary of Quotable Thoughts on Cities and Urban Life'']

* Of course, in Los Angeles, everything is based on driving, even the killings. In New York, most people don't have cars, so if you want to kill a person, you have to take the subway to their house. And sometimes on the way, the train is delayed and you get impatient, so you have to kill someone on the subway. That's why there are so many subway murders; no one has a car.
** [[George Carlin]], ''Brain Droppings''

* [[Donald Trump]] has been uncommonly nice to [[Hillary Clinton|Hillary]] and me. We're all [[w:New York|New York]]ers. And I like him. And I love playing golf with him.
** [[Bill Clinton]], June 4, 2012.[http://www.salon.com/2012/06/04/bill_clinton_said_what/singleton/]

* We are all New Yorkers, just as surely as John F. Kennedy declared himself to be a Berliner in 1962 when he visited Berlin.
** [[w:Jean-Marie Colombani|Jean-Marie Colombani]], ''Le Monde'' (liberal), Paris, France, Sept. 12, 2001.

* I am no more a child, but a man; no longer a confederacy, but a nation. I am no more Virginia, New York, Carolina, or Massachusetts, but the United States of America.
** [[George William Curtis]], as quoted in [https://archive.org/details/orationsandaddr03curtgoog &quot;The Good Fight&quot;] (1865).

==D==
* New York was no mere city. It was instead an infinitely romantic notion, the mysterious nexus of all love and money and power, the shining and the perishable dream itself. To think of 'living' there was to reduce the miraculous to the mundane; one does not 'live' at Xanadu.
** [[Joan Didion]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20100822095804/http://www.nydailyquote.com/2010/08/xanadu.html &quot;Xanadu&quot;] (8 August 2010), ''NY Daily Quote''.

* This is New York. We'll find a place to dance.
** [[w:John M. Ford|John M. Ford]], ''110 Stories'' [http://www.110stories.us/ 110 Stories], 2001

* Even old New York was once New Amsterdam. Why they changed it? I can't say, people just liked it better that way.
** [[w:The Four Lads|The Four Lads]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wcze7EGorOk &quot;Istanbul (not Constantinople)&quot;] (1953), [[w:Columbia Records|Columbia Records]]

==H==
* Where I come from, the rules were relatively simple... Don't look for trouble, because in New York you can always find it. But don't back off either.
** [[w:Pete Hamill|Pete Hamill]], ''Downtown: My Manhattan'' 

* New York: where everyone mutinies but no one deserts.
** [[w:Harry Hershfield|Harry Hershfield]], reported in Rand Lindsly's Quotations.

* I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York. &quot;What're y'all doin'? Talkin' to TV producers, huh? Bummer. Me? I'm readin' a book! Yeah, we're thinkin' back East! Yeah, we're evolving. Is that &quot;The Big One&quot; I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum, bye!
** [[Bill Hicks]], &quot;Goodbye, Lizard Scum&quot; ''Arizona Bay''.

* The selling and enslaving of the human species is a direct violation of the natural rights alike vested in them by their creator, and utterly inconsistent with the avowed principles on which this, and the other states have carried on their struggle for liberty.
** [https://books.google.com/books?id=Pel2AAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA30&amp;dq=%22utterly+inconsistent+with+the+avowed%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CCQQ6AEwAWoVChMIg_zf_uLRxwIVAx0-Ch3Bxwr2 ''House of Representatives of the State of New York''] (1776).

==J==
[[File:Manhattan from above Hudson River.jpg|thumb|Welcome to the jungle. New York, New York. ~ [[50 Cent|Curtis J. Jackson]] ]]
[[File:NYSE127.jpg|thumb|Panic in Wall Street, brokers feeling melancholy. ~ [[Scott Joplin]]]]
* Take New York, the dynamic metropolis. What makes New York so special? It's the invitation of the [[Statue of Liberty]], &quot;Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses who yearn to breathe free.&quot; Not restricted to English only.  Many people, many cultures, many languages - with one thing in common, they yearn to breathe free. Common ground!
**[[Jesse Jackson]], [https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/jesse/speeches/jesse88speech.html 1988 Democratic National Convention keynote address], (19 July 1988) 
*New York is appalling, fantastically charmless and elaborately dire.
** [[Henry James]], ''Selected Letters of Henry James'', Edited by Leon Edel

* New York City is the most fatally fascinating thing in America. She sits like a great witch at the gate of the country, showing her alluring white face, and hiding her crooked hands and feet under the folds of her wide garments,--constantly enticing thousands from far within, and tempting those who come from across the seas to go no farther. And all these become the victims of her caprice. Some she at once crushes beneath her cruel feet; others she condemns to a fate like that of galley slaves; a few she favors and fondles, riding them high on the bubbles of fortune; then with a sudden breath she blows the bubbles out and laughs mockingly as she watches them fall.
** [[James Weldon Johnson]], ''The Autobiography of an Ex-Colored Man''.

* [[Panic]] in [[Wall Street]], brokers feeling melancholy.
** [[Scott Joplin]], &quot;Wall Street Rag&quot; (1909).

* The only reason I wouldn't go to some parts of New York is the real risk of meeting Donald Trump.
** [[Boris Johnson]], [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/boris-johnson/12039931/Boris-Johnson-The-only-reason-I-wouldnt-visit-some-parts-of-New-York-is-the-real-risk-of-meeting-Donald-Trump.html] (8 December 2015)

==K==
* I had a chance to visit America in August 2014. To be honest, I didn't love New York City because it was too crowded, hectic, and flamboyant. But I absolutely loved other parts of America I visited. They felt like paradise to me. If I could speak English and if U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services would allow me to immigrate to America, I would live in the U.S. rather than South Korea. I don't know if it will ever happen.
** Yoo-sung Kim, [https://web.archive.org/web/20160414074548/https://www.nknews.org/2016/04/how-south-koreans-treat-north-koreans/ &quot;How South Koreans treat North Koreans&quot;] (13 August 2016), ''NK News''

* Scientific progress over the past years has been amazing. Man through his scientific genius has been able to dwarf distance and place time in chains, so that today it's possible to eat breakfast in New York City and supper in London.
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20090129133622/http://mlk-kpp01.stanford.edu/index.php/kingpapers/article/rediscovering_lost_values/ Rediscovering Lost Values]'', Sermon delivered at Detroit's Second Baptist Church (28 February 1954).

*Back in about 1753 it took a letter three days to go from New York City to [[Washington, D.C.|Washington]], and today you can go from here to [[China]] in less time than that... Man's scientific genius has been amazing.
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20090129133622/http://mlk-kpp01.stanford.edu/index.php/kingpapers/article/rediscovering_lost_values/ Rediscovering Lost Values]'', Sermon delivered at Detroit's Second Baptist Church (28 February 1954).

* “They want to see our skyscrapers destroyed because they are envious of them,” Mr. Koch said in a phone interview. Asked whom he was referring to, he said, “‘They’ is the rest of the country.”
** [[w:Ed Koch|Edward Koch]], [https://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/12/26/the-irresistible-urge-to-destroy-new-york-on-screen/ “The Irresistible Urge to Destroy New York on Screen”] by Sewell Chan, ''New York Times'', (December 26, 2007).

==L==
* Leave us alone, or else expect us in New York and Washington.	
** [[Osama bin Laden]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20130826184301/http://www.theguardian.com/world/2002/nov/24/theobserver &quot;Letter to the American people&quot;] (2002)

* When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
** [[Fran Lebowitz]], reported in Rand Lindsly's Quotations.

* A hundred times I have thought: New York is a catastrophe, and fifty times: it is a beautiful catastrophe.
** [[Le Corbusier]], ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=TzwVAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=&amp;quot;A+hundred+times+I+have+thought+New+York+is+a+catastrophe+and+fifty+times+it+is+a+beautiful+catastrophe&amp;quot;#search_anchor When the Cathedrals Were White]'' (1947)

* New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
** [[David Letterman]], ''Late Show with David Letterman'' Feb. 9, 1984.

* Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.
** [[David Letterman]], ''Late Show with David Letterman''.

==M==
* You're not from [[w:New York City|New York]], are you? You can't be from New York. Well, when I broke in, I didn't know many people by name so I would just say, &quot;Say, hey,&quot; and the writers picked that up. The writers here in New York can make anything happen, so they made that happen.
** [[Willie Mays]], as quoted in [https://news.google.com/newspapers?id=UVUcAAAAIBAJ&amp;sjid=p1EEAAAAIBAJ&amp;pg=6465%2C2456085&amp;dq=who%27s-best-ever-aside-yourself-next-roberto &quot;Sports of the Times: The Most Natural Ballplayer&quot;] by Dave Anderson, in ''The New York Times'' (January 24, 1979)

* New York: A third-rate [[Babylon]].
** [[H. L. Mencken]], reported in Rand Lindsly's Quotations.

* In New York you can be a new man.
** [[Lin-Manuel Miranda]], ''[[Hamilton (musical)|Hamilton]]''.

==N==
[[File:Liberty-shall-not-perish-Pennell.jpeg|thumb|Futurist thinkers have rarely been kind to New York City. In fact, writers and artists have spent the better part of two centuries destroying the Big Apple. Whether by flood or fire, nuclear explosion or alien invasion, New York more than any other city bears the brunt of our most apocalyptic futures. ~ Matt Novak]]
* People come to New York to live in small apartments, after living in large homes elsewhere. They think they will never get used to it. How will they live without their stuff (now in storage, or disposed of)? Very soon, they realize they have more than enough stuff in the apartment.
** [[w:Jay Nordlinger|Jay Nordlinger]], [https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/05/bad-blood-russia-united-states-and-more-jay-nordlingers-impromptus-may-8/ &quot;Bad Blood&quot;] (8 May 2018), ''National Review Online''

* New York arguably boasts the most diverse population of any major city in the world because of the flow of immigrants from across the globe.
**[http://cn.nytimes.com/usa/20131219/c19immigration/print/en-us/ ''The Newest New Yorkers'']

* Futurist thinkers have rarely been kind to New York City. In fact, writers and artists have spent the better part of two centuries destroying the Big Apple. Whether by flood or fire, [[Nuclear war|nuclear explosion]] or alien invasion, New York more than any other city bears the brunt of our most apocalyptic futures. 
** Matt Novak, [https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/big-apple-apocalypse-200-years-of-destroying-new-york-city-27860853/#BB7lkO5ypZQombHS.99 &quot;Big Apple Apocalypse: 200 Years of Destroying New York City], ''Smithsonian'', (September 6, 2012).

==P==
[[File:Brooklyn_Bridge_-_03.jpg|thumb|It came to be the symbol of the city — not just the American city, but the city itself — with skyscrapers in the early 20th century. It remains the most important American city despite the rise of [[Chicago]] at one point, and [[Los Angeles]] and [[D.C.]] At least for economics and for culture, New York is still the capital and has been, really from the 1830s onward. ~ Max Page]]
[[File:Kingkongposter.jpg|thumb|The best thing for New York might be the sight of [[King Kong]] tramping through the streets of Manhattan on his way to a fateful appointment at the top of the Empire State Building,” Mr. Page wrote. “For if there is one thing that symbolizes New York’s pre-eminence, it is that so many still want to imagine the city’s end. ~ Max Page]]
[[File:Intersection (5919349009).jpg|thumb|The most fabulous city in the world. ~ Ji-woo Park]]
[[File:LOC Lower Manhattan New York City World Trade Center August 2001.jpg|thumb|One thing l love about New York City is its diversity. There are different people from all over the globe sharing their culture and building their communities. For example, New York’s Chinatown is the largest Chinese community in the western hemisphere. ~ Ji-woo Park]]
[[File:Wtc-2004-memorial.jpg|thumb|I bow my head to the victims of terrorism. I am highly impressed of the courage of New York residents. The great city and the great American nation are to win! ~ [[Vladimir Putin|Vladimir V. Putin]]]]
* It came to be the symbol of the city — not just the American city, but the city itself — with skyscrapers in the early [[20th century]]. It remains the most important American city despite the rise of [[Chicago]] at one point, and [[Los Angeles]] and [[D.C.]] At least for [[economics]] and for [[culture]], New York is still the capital and has been, really from the 1830s onward.
** Max Page in [https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/big-apple-apocalypse-200-years-of-destroying-new-york-city-27860853/#BB7lkO5ypZQombHS.99 &quot;Big Apple Apocalypse: 200 Years of Destroying New York City&quot;], by Matt Novak, ''Smithsonian'', (September 6, 2012).

* The best thing for New York might be the sight of [[King Kong]] tramping through the streets of Manhattan on his way to a fateful appointment at the top of the [[w:Empire State Building|Empire State Building]],” Mr. Page wrote. “For if there is one thing that symbolizes New York’s pre-eminence, it is that so many still want to imagine the city’s end.
** Max Page as quoted in [https://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/12/26/the-irresistible-urge-to-destroy-new-york-on-screen/ “The Irresistible Urge to Destroy New York on Screen”] by Sewell Chan, ''New York Times'', (December 26, 2007).

* One thing I love about New York City is its diversity. There are different people from all over the globe sharing their culture and building their communities. For example, New York's Chinatown is the largest Chinese community in the western hemisphere.
** Ji-woo Park, [http://www.nknews.org/2013/05/from-racial-bias-to-loving-harlema-north-korean-in-new-york/ &quot;A North Korean in New York&quot;] (23 May 2010), ''NK News''

* One of the things I find most surprising is that people in New York eat while they walk.
** Ji-woo Park, as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20160325213744/https://www.nknews.org/2013/04/nyc-street-food-vs-north-korean-market-food/ &quot;NYC Street Food VS North Korean Market Food&quot;] (24 April 2013), by Nara Han, ''NK News''

* [T]he most fabulous city in the world.
** Ji-woo Park, as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20160325213921/https://www.nknews.org/2013/06/a-north-korean-goes-to-disneyland/ &quot;A North Korean goes to Disneyland&quot;] (7 June 2013), by Nara Han, ''NK News''

* In New York City, I am not afraid of the summer heat at all because of the air conditioners.
** Ji-woo Park, as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20160325213732/https://www.nknews.org/2013/06/north-korean-tips-on-how-to-survive-new-york-city-summers-2/ &quot;North Korean tips on how to survive New York City summers&quot;] (21 June 2013), by Nara Han, ''NK News''

* I really wanted to stay in New York City longer. I have been missing my life in New York City. One thing that I missed about it is the food. I really enjoyed Mexican and Indian food in New York City. I went to Chipotle at least twice a week when I was there. Brown rice with chicken was my favorite. If dark green guacamole was on top of the rice it could not have been better. There was an Indian restaurant near my school so I went there many times. When it served lunch (from 12-3 p.m.), the price per person was only $12, including tips and taxes. It was the cheapest Indian restaurant I had ever been to. The good news was that its food was as good as its prices. I feel so depressed when I think of and talk about the food I had in New York City. I will not be able to try them again until I go back to the States... One thing I have discovered is life in Seoul is much more difficult and stressful than in New York City. [[South Korea]] is a small country, but it is incredibly strong. The secret is competition. Everybody competes with each other in order to attain their goals. They work so hard that they almost never go home before 10 p.m. during the weekdays. University students, for example, would register for TOEIC or TOEFL classes even before the summer and winter vacations come. The library is full of students now even though it is summer vacation. Every student is studying something. If they did not do anything, they would feel insecure and left behind. Although New York City is viewed as one of the most bustling and busy cities in the world, what I had noticed was that New Yorkers had more room to be relaxed and do whatever they wanted.  It is true that their society is really competitive, but they do not really force themselves to win every time they compete.
** Ji-woo Park, as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20160415030440/https://www.nknews.org/2013/08/a-north-korean-in-new-york-city-says-goodbye/ &quot;A North Korean in New York City says goodbye&quot;] (10 August 2013), by Nara Han, ''NK News''

* I bow my head to the victims of terrorism. '''I am highly impressed of the courage of New York residents. The great city and the great [[United States|American nation]] are to win!'''
** [[Vladimir Putin]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20031117142036/http://www.kremlin.ru/events/photos/2001/11/39974.shtml inscription at the World Trade Center Memorial Wall] (15 November 2001).

==R==
[[File:WTC Twin Towers Night July 2001.jpg|thumb|I would give the greatest sunset in the world for one sight of New York's skyline. The shapes and the thought that made them. The sky over New York and the will of man made visible. What other religion do we need? ~ [[Ayn Rand]]]]
[[File:Lower Manhattan Skyline March 2001.jpg|thumb|Is it beauty and genius they want to see? Do they seek a sense of the sublime? Let them come to New York, stand on the shore of the Hudson, look and kneel. When I see the city from my window? No, I don't feel how small I am. But, I feel that if a war came to threaten this? I would like to throw myself into space, over the city, and protect these buildings with my body. ~ [[Ayn Rand]]]]
* That particular sense of sacred rapture men say they experience in contemplating nature- I've never received it from nature, only from. Buildings, Skyscrapers. I would give the greatest sunset in the world for one sight of New York's skyline. The shapes and the thought that made them. The sky over New York and the will of man made visible. What other religion do we need? And then people tell me about pilgrimages to some dank pest-hole in a jungle where they go to do homage to a crumbling temple, to a leering stone monster with a pot belly, created by some leprous savage. Is it beauty and genius they want to see? Do they seek a sense of the sublime? Let them come to New York, stand on the shore of the Hudson, look and kneel. When I see the city from my window - no, I don't feel how small I am - but I feel that if a war came to threaten this, I would like to throw myself into space, over the city, and protect these buildings with my body.
** [[Ayn Rand]], ''[[The Fountainhead]]'' (1943).

* They're building armoured skyscrapers in New York, every flat costs 100 billions euros. We're going towards a new middle-age: there'll be fortresses with rich chinese, russians, indians, arabians, americans inside, while the rest of the world will live in a new dark age.
** [[Marco Rizzo]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9L7lkF2Jy8A&amp;feature=youtu.be&amp;t=735 Interview], 4 January 2017

* Living in California adds ten years to a man's life. And those extra ten years I'd like to spent in New York.
** [[Harry Ruby]], reported in Rand Lindsly's Quotations.

* The New York State Department of Health appeared to announce this week that non-white New Yorkers would receive priority over whites in receiving “extremely limited” Covid-19 therapies for people at risk.
** Russia Today, [https://www.rt.com/news/544868-non-whites-covid-priority/ Non-whites to receive priority for limited Covid pill], 31 December 2021

==S==
[[File:NH43901-enhanced.jpg|thumb|Mr. Smith said that at the Empire State Building, airships like the Graf, almost 800 feet long, would “swing in the breeze and the passengers go down a gangplank”; seven minutes later they would be on the street. ~ Alfred E. Smith]]
[[File:StPatCathExt1.jpg|thumb|Visitors to places like New York are amazed to see the way in which Serbs and Croatians, Sikhs and Hindus, Irish Catholics and Irish Protestants, Jews and Palestinians, all seem to work and live together in harmony. How is this possible when these same groups are spearing each other and burning each other's homes in so many places in the world? ~ [[Dinesh D'Souza]]]]
[[File:Manhattan_from_helicopter_edit1.jpg|thumb|Manhattan today is the result of the people who built it. ~ [[Dinesh D'Souza]]]]
* New York is a woman, holding, according to history, a rag called liberty with one hand, and strangling the earth with the other.
** ''Syrian poet Ali Ahmad Said (pseudonym [[Adunis]]) in &quot;The Funeral of New York&quot;''.

* When its 100 degrees in New York, its 78 in Los Angeles. When its 10 degrees in New York, its 78 in Los Angeles. There are two million interesting people in New York. There are 78 in Los Angeles.
** [[Neil Simon]], ''[[w:Playboy|Playboy]]'' Feb. 1979.

* In late 1929, Alfred E. Smith, the leader of a group of investors erecting the Empire State Building, announced that they were increasing the height of the building to 1,250 feet from 1,050. Mr. Smith, a past governor of New York, denied that competition with the 1,046-foot-high [[Chrysler Building]] was a factor. “We are measuring its rise by principles of economic investment rather than spectacular standards,” he told The [[The New York Times|New York Times]]. &lt;br&gt; The extra 200 feet, it was announced, was to serve as a mooring mast for dirigibles so that they could dock in Midtown, rather than out in [[w:Lakehurst, New Jersey|Lakehurst, N.J.]], the station used by the German Graf Zeppelin. Mr. Smith said that at the Empire State Building, airships like the Graf, almost 800 feet long, would “swing in the breeze and the passengers go down a gang-plank”; seven minutes later they would be on the street. 
** [[w:Alfred E. Smith|Alfred E. Smith]] as quoted in [https://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/26/realestate/26scapes.html “Not Just a Perch for King Kong”], by Christopher Gray, ''New York Times'', (Sept. 23, 2010)

* Visitors to places like New York are amazed to see the way in which [[Serbs]] and [[w:Croatians|Croatians]], [[Sikhism|Sikhs]] and [[Hindu|Hindus]], [[Ireland|Irish]] [[Catholic Church|Catholics]] and Irish [[Protestantism|Protestants]], [[Judaism|Jews]] and [[Palestine|Palestinians]], all seem to work and live together in harmony. How is this possible when these same groups are spearing each other and burning each other's homes in so many places in the world?
** [[Dinesh D'Souza]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20151010163703/http://www.sfgate.com/opinion/article/10-things-to-celebrate-Why-I-m-an-2567319.php#photo-2709803 &quot;10 things to celebrate: Why I'm an anti-anti-American&quot;] (29 June 2003), ''SFGate''.

* The [[w:Native Americans in the United States|American Indians]] sold Manhattan to the [[Dutch people|Dutch]] for $700 in today's money. My point is, that's what Manhattan was worth then. It was useless, it was just a piece of land, like any other piece of land which you can buy today for $700 in many places in the world. Manhattan today is the result of the people who built it, not the original inhabitants who occupied or sold it.
** [[Dinesh D'Souza]], [http://dailycaller.com/2014/06/18/dinesh-dsouza-takes-on-the-case-for-reparations-the-innovation-of-america-is-the-result-of-capitalism/ Dinesh D'Souza Takes On The Case For Reparations: 'The Innovation Of America Is The Result Of Capitalism'], ''The Daily Caller'' (18 June 2014).

* New York is baffling in that it's a city that prides itself on being an absolute shithole. It's like — there's nothing good here, people are proud of that, they're happy, 'Oh, it's overpriced, and it's overpopulated, and it stinks like piss, and comics! — comics film specials here!' And they all open with a joke about, 'Yeah, you spend 8 thousand dollars a month for 9 square feet!' And you go, 'Well, why do you fucking live here?' Why do people stay here?.. But unfortunately, this is where comedy works — where people are the most miserable.
** [[Doug Stanhope]], ''No Refunds''.

* Sometimes I get bored riding down the beautiful streets of L.A. I know it sounds crazy, but I just want to go to New York and see people suffer.
** [[w:Donna Summer|Donna Summer]], reported in Rand Lindsly's Quotations.

==T==
[[File:Empire State Building Night.jpg|thumb|City of prose and fantasy, of capitalist automatism, its streets a triumph of cubism [...] more than any other city, it is the fullest expression of our modern age. ~ [[Leon Trotsky]] ]]
* '''City of prose and fantasy, of capitalist automatism, its streets a triumph of cubism, its moral philosophy that of the dollar.''' New York impressed me tremendously because, '''more than any other city, it is the fullest expression of our modern age.'''
**[[Leon Trotsky]], ''My Life'', 1930. {{Cite book|title=A Treasury of Jewish Quotations|editor=Baron, Joseph L.|date=1956|publisher=Crown Publishers, Inc.|location=New York|page=332}} 

==U==
[[File:Wade - Downtown Manhattan Skyline.jpg|thumb|The true New Yorker secretly believes that people living anywhere else have to be, in some sense, kidding. ~ John Updike]]
* The true New Yorker secretly believes that people living anywhere else have to be, in some sense, kidding.
** [[John Updike]], ''The New Yorker'' (March 29, 1976)

==W==
[[File:September 11 Tribute in Light at Dusk.jpg|thumb|The city, for the first time in its long history, is destructible. A single flight of planes no bigger than a wedge of geese can quickly end this island fantasy, burn the towers, crumble the bridges, turn the underground passages into lethal chambers, cremate the millions. ~ [[E.B. White]] ]]
[[File:1 times square night 2013.jpg|thumb|No one should come to New York to live unless he is willing to be lucky. ~ [[E.B. White]] ]]
[[File:Twin Towers from Empire State Building.jpg|thumb|New York blazes like a magnificent jewel in its fit setting of sea, and earth, and stars. ~ [[Thomas Wolfe]]]]
[[File:New_York_City_at_night_HDR.jpg|thumb|Surely no streets have been portrayed on the pages of comics as often as Manhattan’s, most famously as Metropolis by day and Gotham by night. Not to be outdone, [[Spider-Man]] once even said “I am New York.” [[Batman]], the [[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles|Ninja Turtles]], the [[Fantastic Four]], [[Superman]] and a host of other do-gooders in stretch pants may have thoughts on that. ~ Pascal Wyse]]
* '''The subtlest change in New York is something people don't speak much about but that is in everyone's mind. The city, for the first time in its long history, is destructible. A single flight of planes no bigger than a wedge of geese can quickly end this island fantasy, burn the towers, crumble the bridges, turn the underground passages into lethal chambers, cremate the millions. The intimation of mortality is part of New York now: in the sounds of jets overhead, in the black headlines of the latest edition.'''&lt;br&gt;All dwellers in cities must dwell with the stubborn fact of annihilation; in New York the fact is somewhat more concentrated because of the concentration of the city itself and because, of all targets, New York has a certain clear priority. '''In the mind of whatever perverted dreamer who might loose the lightning, New York must hold a steady, irresistible charm.'''
** [[E.B. White]], &quot;Here Is New York,&quot; ''Holiday'' (1948); reprinted in ''Here is New York'' (1949) 

* '''No one should come to New York to live unless he is willing to be lucky.'''
** [[E.B. White]], ''Here is New York'' (1949)

* '''Faculty X is simply that latent power in human beings possess ''to reach beyond the present''.''' After all, we know perfectly well that the past is as real as the present, and that New York and Singapore and Lhasa and Stepney Green are all as real as the place I happen to be in at the moment. ''Yet my senses do not agree''. They assure me that this place, here and now, is far more real than any other place or any other time. Only in certain moments of great inner intensity do I know this to be a lie. Faculty X is a sense of reality, the reality of other places and other times, and it is the possession of it — fragmentary and uncertain though it is — that distinguishes man from all other animals. 
** [[Colin Wilson]] in ''The Occult: A History '', p. 59 (1971)

* New York blazes like a magnificent jewel in its fit setting of sea, and earth, and stars.
** [[Thomas Wolfe]], ''[http://www.nydailyquote.com/ The Web and the Rock]''

* One belongs to New York instantly, one belongs to it as much in five minutes as in five years.
** [[Thomas Wolfe]], ''Explore'', April 15, 2009 edition

* In New York the opportunities for learning, and acquiring a culture that shall not come out of the ruins, but belong to life, are probably greater than anywhere else in the world.
** [[Thomas Wolfe]], [http://books.google.com/books?id=6G16-JUIP5YC&amp;pg=PA663&amp;dq=%22In+New+York+the+opportunities+for+learning,+and+acquiring+a+culture+that+shall+not+come+out+of+the+ruins,+but+belong+to+life,+are+probably+greater+than+anywhere+else+in+the+world.%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=xO_oU-_ECcfaoATo_ILABg&amp;ved=0CB4Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&amp;q=%22In%20New%20York%20the%20opportunities%20for%20learning%2C%20and%20acquiring%20a%20culture%20that%20shall%20not%20come%20out%20of%20the%20ruins%2C%20but%20belong%20to%20life%2C%20are%20probably%20greater%20than%20anywhere%20else%20in%20the%20world.%22&amp;f=false ''Of Time and the River: A Legend of Man's Hunger in His Youth''] (1935)

* From my room, I could lie across my bed and watch the cars rush along Central Park West. In a hurry to get someplace. Everyone in New York is in a hurry. You see businessmen walking fast, their heads bowed, the cuffs of their pants flapping hard against their ankles. They don't look at anyone. Once I followed this man, walking so close behind him I could have been his daughter—but he never even looked over and noticed me. For two blocks I walked like that beside him. It made me sad for him—that he could walk through this world without looking left or right.
** Jacqueline Woodson, ''[[If You Come Softly]]'' (1998) pp. 15-16

* If you have made it this far into the story, the chances are the city in your mind is New York. Or at least some version of it. Surely no streets have been portrayed on the pages of comics as often as Manhattan’s, most famously as Metropolis by day and Gotham by night. Not to be outdone, [[Spider-Man]] once even said “I am New York.” [[Batman]], the [[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles|Ninja Turtles]], the [[Fantastic Four]], [[Superman]] and a host of other do-gooders in stretch pants may have thoughts on that. As might Mitchell Hundred, who, despite possessing superpowers unsuited to desk work, hangs up his cape and becomes mayor of the city in ''[[Ex Machina (comics)|Ex Machina]]''. “Stopping bullets ain’t in your job description anymore, boss,” says his aide when the guns come out. &lt;br&gt; There may not be a birth certificate for comics (especially if you embrace the broader definition of “sequential art”), but the strip was certainly raised in New York, and well fed by the competition between [[newspapers]] and their publishers in the early 1900s. Well nourished, too, by the meat and drink of urban life.
** Pascal Wyse, [https://www.theguardian.com/cities/2014/sep/09/gotham-new-york-what-do-comics-tell-us-about-cities &quot;Gotham State of mind: What do comics tell us about cities?&quot;], ''The Guardian'', (9 Sep 2014). 

* No one’s dreams were more coloured by the city than [[w:Winsor McCay|Winsor McCay]]’s ''[[w:Little Nemo in Slumberland|Little Nemo in Slumberland]]'', one of the earliest US strips, which ran in the New York Herald from 1905-1911. As he falls into a fantastic sleep, Nemo’s cot grows legs like a giraffe and he strides, almost Godzilla-like, through fantastic, sky-scraping scenery inspired by McCay’s memories of city expos and theme-park rollercoasters – a kind of fantasy architecture. It’s the architecture of the page, though, that McCay was most radical with. Nemo didn’t just reach across the page, but down it, in dizzying vertical panels that knocked out the supporting walls of the old calendar-like “waffle” of the comic.
** Pascal Wyse, [https://www.theguardian.com/cities/2014/sep/09/gotham-new-york-what-do-comics-tell-us-about-cities &quot;Gotham State of mind: What do comics tell us about cities?&quot;], ''The Guardian'', (9 Sep 2014).  

==Y==
[[File:UN HQ 157652121 5b5979da9e2.jpg|thumb|New York is symbolic for the pride of mankind. ~ Cevat Yerli]]
* New York is symbolic for the pride of mankind.
** Cevat Yerli, CEO and President and Crytek, on why [[Crysis]] 2 was set in New York City. [http://arstechnica.com/gaming/news/2010/04/first-look-crysis-2-comes-to-consoles-destroys-nyc.ars].

===''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922) ===
&lt;small&gt;Quotes reported in ''[[Wikisource:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922)|Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations]]'' (1922), p. 552-53.&lt;/small&gt;

* Stream of the living world&lt;br&gt;Where dash the billows of strife!—&lt;br&gt;One plunge in the mighty torrent&lt;br&gt;Is a year of tamer life!&lt;br&gt;City of glorious days,&lt;br&gt;Of hope, and labour and mirth,&lt;br&gt;With room and to spare, on thy splendid bays&lt;br&gt;For the ships of all the earth!
** [[Richard Watson Gilder]], ''The City''.

* Silent, grim, colossal, the Big City has ever stood against its revilers. They call it hard as iron; they say that nothing of pity beats in its bosom; they compare its streets with lonely forests and deserts of lava. But beneath the hard crust of the lobster is found a delectable and luscious food. Perhaps a different simile would have been wiser. Still nobody should take offence. We would call nobody a lobster with good and sufficient claws.
** [[O. Henry]], ''Between Rounds. In Four Million''.

* New York is the Caoutchouc City. * * * They have the furor rubberendi.
** [[O. Henry]], ''Comedy in Rubber. In The Voice of the City''.

* In dress, habits, manners, provincialism, routine and narrowness, he acquired that charming insolence, that irritating completeness, that sophisticated crassness, that overbalanced poise that makes the Manhattan gentleman so delightfully small in his greatness.
** [[O. Henry]], ''Defeat of the City. In The Voice of the City''.

* Far below and around lay the city like a ragged purple dream. The irregular houses were like the broken exteriors of cliffs lining deep gulches and winding streams. Some were mountainous; some lay in long, monotonous rows like, the basalt precipices hanging over desert cañons. Such was the background of the wonderful, cruel, enchanting, bewildering, fatal, great city. But into this background were cut myriads of brilliant parallelograms and circles and squares through which glowed many colored lights. And out of the violet and purple depths ascended like the city's soul, sounds and odors and thrills that make up the civic body. There arose the breath of gaiety unrestrained, of love, of hate, of all the passions that man can know. There below him lay all things, good or bad, that can be brought from the four corners of the earth to instruct, please, thrill, enrich, elevate, cast down, nurture or kill. Thus the flavor of it came up to him and went into his blood.
** [[O. Henry]], ''The Duel. In Strictly Business''.

* Well, little old Noisyville-on-the-Subway is good enough for me * * * Me for it from the rathskellers up. Sixth Avenue is the West now to me.
** [[O. Henry]], ''The Duel. In Strictly Business''.

*&quot;If you don't mind me asking,&quot; came the bell-like tones of the Golden Diana, &quot;I'd like to know where you got that City Hall brogue. I did not know that Liberty was necessarily Irish.&quot; &quot;If ye'd studied the history of art in its foreign complications, ye'd not need to ask,&quot; replied Mrs. Liberty, &quot;If ye wasn't so light and giddy ye'd know that I was made by a Dago and presented to the American people on behalf of the French Government for the purpose of welcomin' Irish immigrants into the Dutch city of New York. 'Tis that I've been doing night and day since I was erected.&quot;
** [[O. Henry]], ''The Lady Higher Up. In Sixes and Sevens''.

* GEORGE WASHINGTON, with his right arm upraised, sits his iron horse at the lower corner of Union Square * * * Should the General raise his left hand as he has raised his right, it would point to a quarter of the city that forms a haven for the oppressed and suppressed of foreign lands. In the cause of national or personal freedom they have found refuge here, and the patriot who made it for them sits his steed, overlooking their district, while he listens through his left ear to vaudeville that caricatures the posterity of his protégés.
** [[O. Henry]], ''A Philistine in Bohemia. In Voice of the City''.

* If there ever was an aviary overstocked with jays it is that Yaptown-on-the-Hudson, called New York. Cosmopolitan they call it, you bet. So's a piece of fly-paper. You listen close when they're buzzing and trying to pull their feet out of the sticky stuff. &quot;Little old New York's good enough for us&quot;—that's what they sing.
** [[O. Henry]], ''A Tempered Wind. In The Gentle Grafter''.

* You'd think New York people was all wise; but no, they can't get a chance to learn. Every thing's too compressed. Even the hayseeds are bailed hayseeds. But what else can you expect from a town that's shut off from the world by the ocean on one side and New Jersey on the other?
** [[O. Henry]], ''A Tempered Wind. In The Gentle Grafter''.

* Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,&lt;br&gt;With conquering limbs astride from land to land;&lt;br&gt;Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand&lt;br&gt;A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame&lt;br&gt;Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name&lt;br&gt;Mother of exiles.
** [[Emma Lazarus]], ''The New Colossus''.

* Some day this old Broadway shall climb to the skies,&lt;br&gt;As a ribbon of cloud on a soul-wind shall rise,&lt;br&gt;And we shall be lifted, rejoicing by night,&lt;br&gt;Till we join with the planets who choir their delight.&lt;br&gt;The signs in the streets and the signs in the skies&lt;br&gt;Shall make a new Zodiac, guiding the wise,&lt;br&gt;And Broadway make one with that marvelous stair&lt;br&gt;That is climbed by the rainbow-clad spirits of prayer.
** [[Vachel Lindsay]], ''Rhyme about an Electrical Advertising Sign''.

* For reasons becoming clear to me, New York City you are dead to me. Well, you can turn back time but I'm never coming back.
** [[w:Momus|Momus]], [http://imomus.com/pillycock.html &quot;Eurotrash&quot;] (2018), ''Pillycock''

* Up in the heights of the evening skies I see my City of Cities float&lt;br&gt;In sunset's golden and crimson dyes: I look and a great joy clutches my throat!&lt;br&gt;Plateau of roofs by canyons crossed: windows by thousands fire-furled—&lt;br&gt;O gazing, how the heart is lost in the Deepest City in the World.
** [[James Oppenheim]], ''New York from a Skyscraper''.

* Just where the Treasury's marble front&lt;br&gt;* Looks over Wall Street's mingled nations,—&lt;br&gt;Where Jews and Gentiles most are wont&lt;br&gt;* To throng for trade and last, quotations;&lt;br&gt;Where, hour, by hour, the rates of gold&lt;br&gt;* Outrival, in the ears of people,&lt;br&gt;The quarter-chimes, serenely tolled&lt;br&gt;From Trinity's undaunted steeple.
** [[Edmund Clarence Stedman]], ''Pan in Wall Street''.

* Lo! body and soul!—this land!&lt;br&gt;Mighty Manhattan, with spires, and&lt;br&gt;The sparkling and hurrying tides, and the ships;&lt;br&gt;The varied and ample land,—the South&lt;br&gt;And the North in the light—Ohio's shores, and flashing Missouri,&lt;br&gt;And ever the far-spreading prairies, covered with grass and corn.
** [[Walt Whitman]], ''Sequel to Drum-Taps. When Lilacs Last in the Door-Yard Bloom'd'', Stanza 12.

=== Songs ===
[[File:Top of Rock Cropped.jpg|thumb|In New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made, oh. There's nothing you can't do, now you're in New York. ~ [[Jay-Z|Shawn Carter]]]]
[[File:New York year 2000 01.JPG|thumb|Big pimping, up in NYC. ~ [[Jay-Z|Shawn Carter]]]]
[[File:Manhattan 1931.jpg|thumb|It's a city where a man can fulfill his dreams... Let me never leave it. New York's my home, sweet home. ~ [[w:Sammy Davis, Jr.|Sammy Davis]] ]]
[[File:Rucker Park (WTM wikiWhat 023).jpg|thumb|Whether she is clean or dirty she's the greatest town that you'll ever find, yeah! ~ [[w:Lenny Kravitz|Lenny Kravitz]] ]]
[[File:Sunrise over Central Park.jpg |thumb|In this cold and heartless city  &lt;br /&gt; Isn't the village a pretty place  &lt;br /&gt; Aglow in the [[morning]] [[sun]]? ~ [[What's So Bad About Feeling Good?]] ]]
* But we're hunters; we take pride in airing our prey out. Leaving them laid out, dead, in just a sport. Because we aren't playing up here in New York.
** [[w:Ja Rule|Jeffrey Atkins]], &quot;[http://rapgenius.com/Ja-rule-new-york-lyrics New York]&quot; (2004), ''[[w:R.U.L.E.|R.U.L.E.]]''

* Big pimping, up in NYC.
** [[Jay-Z|Shawn C. Carter]], [http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/jayz/bigpimpinextended.html &quot;Big Pimpin'&quot;] (2000).

* '''In New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made, oh&lt;br&gt;There's nothing you can't do, now you're in New York&lt;br&gt;These streets will make you feel brand new&lt;br&gt;Big lights will inspire you, let's hear it for New York&lt;br&gt;New York, New York.'''
** [[Jay-Z|Shawn C. Carter]], &quot;[[https://kelyrics.com/lyrics/jay-z/empire-state-of-mind.html Empire State Of Mind]]&quot; (2009), ''[[w:The Blueprint 3|The Blueprint 3]]''.

* 'Cause everyone's my friend in New York City&lt;br&gt;And everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty&lt;br&gt;The streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to see&lt;br&gt;But the best thing about New York City is you and me.
** [[w:cub (band)|cub]], ''New York City''.

* '''Cause when you leave New York &lt;br&gt; Man, you don't go anywhere'''&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt; '''It's a city where a man &lt;br&gt; Can fulfill his dreams''' &lt;br&gt; The only town that's left &lt;br&gt; That's got three baseball teams &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt; ('''That's why New York's his home) &lt;br&gt; Let me never leave it &lt;br&gt; New York's my home, sweet home'''
** [[w:Sammy Davis, Jr.|Sammy Davis]], ''New York's My Home'' (1956).

* I had seven faces&lt;br&gt;thought I knew which one to wear&lt;br&gt;But I'm sick of spending these lonely nights&lt;br&gt;training myself not to care&lt;br&gt;the subway, she is a porno&lt;br&gt;and the pavements they are a mess&lt;br&gt;I know you've supported me for a long time&lt;br&gt;somehow I'm not impressed &lt;br&gt;New York Cares (got to be some more change in my life)
** [[Interpol]], ''NYC''.

* New York City, you are now riding with 50 Cent! You've got to love it!
** [[50 Cent|Curtis James Jackson III]], &quot;21 Questions&quot; (2003).

* I run New York. [[w:Tony Yayo|Yayo]] tell them, I run New York.
** [[50 Cent|Curtis James Jackson III]], &quot;[http://rapgenius.com/50-cent-i-run-new-york-lyrics I Run New York]&quot;, ''[http://www.datpiff.com/DJ_Nobody_50_Cent_Vs_The_World.m41539.html 50 Cent vs. The World]''.

* Brownsville, Flatbush, Crown Heights, Brooklyn Zoo... Welcome to the jungle. New York, New York. Gangsters use sign language, and let their guns talk.
** [[50 Cent|Curtis J. Jackson]], [http://genius.com/401133 &quot;Gunz Come Out&quot;] (2005), ''The Massacre''.

* Me, I'm takin' a Greyhound&lt;br&gt;On the Hudson River line&lt;br&gt;I'm in a New York State of Mind
** [[Billy Joel]], ''New York State of Mind''.

* You're fucking with a dirty New Yorker. [[w:Queens|Queens]] in this bitch, fall back or get roped up.
** [[w:Proidgy (rapper)|Albert Johnson]], &quot;[http://rapgenius.com/Mobb-deep-dirty-new-yorker-lyrics Dirty New Yorker]&quot; (2008), ''[[w:Grand Theft Auto IV|Grand Theft Auto IV]]''.

* '''One hand in the air for the big city &lt;br/&gt; Street lights, big dreams, all lookin' pretty &lt;br/&gt; No place in the world that could compare &lt;br/&gt; Put your lighters in the air &lt;br/&gt; Everybody say &quot;yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah&quot;'''
** [[Alicia Keys|Alicia Augello Cook]], &quot;[[w:Empire State of Mind (Part II) Broken Down|Empire State of Mind (Part II) Broken Down]]&quot; (2009), ''[[w:The Element of Freedom|The Element of Freedom]]''.

* '''She is a rock &lt;br/&gt; As we pull but she is steady &lt;br/&gt; And no one can take her freedom away, yeah &lt;br/&gt; (Can't take her freedom) &lt;br/&gt; I love her style &lt;br/&gt; Whether she is clean or dirty &lt;br/&gt; She's the greatest town that you'll ever find, yeah!'''
** [[w:Lenny Kravitz|Lenny Kravitz]], New York City (2014), from the on September 23, 2014 released album [[w:Strut (album)|Strut]]

* She is my heart &lt;br/&gt; '''I love New York City &lt;br/&gt; She's lived and died &lt;br/&gt; So many times, yeah! &lt;br/&gt; Life is always tough &lt;br/&gt; On New York City, oh lord &lt;br/&gt; But she is fine, she always survives, yeah!'''
** [[w:Lenny Kravitz|Lenny Kravitz]], New York City (2014), from the on September 23, 2014 released album [[w:Strut (album)|Strut]]

* New York, I love you. But, you're bringing me down. Like a rat in a cage, pulling minimum wage.
** [[w:LCD Soundsystem|LCD Soundsystem]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eohHwsplvY &quot;New York, I Love You But You're Bringing Me Down&quot;], ''[[w:Sound of Silver|Sound of Silver]]'' (2007).

* New York, New York, a helluva town. The Bronx is up but the {{W|Battery Park|Battery}}'s down.
** {{W|On the Town (musical)|On the Town}} (1944)

* It's easier to leave than to be left behind&lt;br&gt;Leaving was never my proud&lt;br&gt;Leaving New York, never easy&lt;br&gt;I saw the light fading out&lt;br&gt;You find it in your heart, it's pulling me apart&lt;br&gt;You find it in your heart, change...
** [[R.E.M.]], ''Leaving New York''.

* If I can make it there, I'm going to make it anywhere! It's up to you, New York!
** Frank Sinatra, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KJQNMqVIug &quot;Theme From ''New York, New York''&quot;].

* Why do we still live here&lt;br&gt;In this repulsive town?&lt;br&gt;All our friends are in New York
** [[The Magnetic Fields]], ''100,000 Fireflies.

* In New York freedom looks like too many choices&lt;br&gt;In New York I found a friend to drown out the other voices&lt;br&gt;Voices on the cell phone&lt;br&gt;Voices from home&lt;br&gt;Voices of the hard sell&lt;br&gt;Voices down the stairwell&lt;br&gt;In New York, just got a place in New York
** [[U2]], ''New York''.

*: '''Village neighbors''' ''[Singing theme song]'': &lt;br /&gt;'' '''In this cold and heartless city &lt;br /&gt; Isn't the village a pretty place &lt;br /&gt; Aglow in the [[morning]] [[sun]]?''' ''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''Can't [[imagine]] why it should be, &lt;br /&gt; But something's happened to me &lt;br /&gt; I feel like [[smiling]] at ''everyone''. ''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''Though the [[world]] may not be [[perfect]] yet, &lt;br /&gt; Still the only way we're gonna get any better is if we ''try''. &lt;br /&gt; Look at the [[fun]] we've been missing &lt;br /&gt; Things like huggin' and kissin' &lt;br /&gt; So let's enjoy it the way we should. &lt;br /&gt; Tell me what's so bad, &lt;br /&gt; Tell me what's so bad &lt;br /&gt; About feeling good?''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''Always thought that life was just a drag &lt;br /&gt; [[Now]] this daisy's got a brand new bag &lt;br /&gt; Hey world take a good look at me.'' &lt;p&gt; ''Though I'm flying high as a kite, &lt;br /&gt; What turns me on is the sight of life, &lt;br /&gt; The grooviest trip of all &lt;br /&gt; Best kick I've ever had, &lt;br /&gt; So tell me what's so bad about feeling good?''&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;!-- :'''Village neighbors''' ''[Singing theme song]'': Man I had the craziest dream &lt;br /&gt; I danced with Mr. Clean and gave the White Knight a helping hand &lt;br /&gt; Best day we've ever had, so tell us what's so bad about feeling good? --&gt;
*:'''Village neighbors''' ''[Singing theme song]'': ''So don't forget to carry a smile &lt;br /&gt; And maybe after a while it will all turn out the way it should &lt;br /&gt; So tell me what's so bad about feeling good?''
** ''[[What's So Bad About Feeling Good?]] (1968), theme song sung by the Village neighbors in the film.

== Dialogue ==
*'''Mitchell Hundred''': '''Kremlin'''? Jesus, you can't just break into '''{{w|Gracie Mansion}}''', you nutjob!
:'''Kremlin''': Yes, when I come here from Russia as child, this whole place was filled with nothing but filthy '''restrooms''' for the park-goers.
:'''Mitchell Hundred''': Funny, somebody just told me my office downtown was once a '''jail'''. Everything good in New York used to be something awful, I guess.
:'''Kremlin''': And everything awful used to be something good.
:*''[[w:Ex Machina (comics)|Ex Machina (comics)]]'', [[w:Brian K. Vaughan|Brian K. Vaughan]] and [[w:Tony Harris (comics)|Tony Harris]], &quot;State of Emergency Part 3&quot;

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Wikivoyage}}
* [https://newyorkerlife.com/ New Yorker Life]
* [https://www.nyc.gov/ The Official Website of the City of New York]


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  <page>
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      <text bytes="73580" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Dwight D Eisenhower.jpg|thumb|Patriotism means equipped forces and a prepared citizenry. Moral stamina means more energy and more productivity, on the farm and in the factory. Love of liberty means the guarding of every resource that makes freedom possible--from the sanctity of our families and the wealth of our soil to the genius of our scientists. ~ [[Dwight D. Eisenhower]]]]
[[File:Naturalization ceremony at Kennedy Space Center.jpg|thumb|Patriotism, not nationalism, should inspire the citizen. The ethnic nationalist who wants a linguistically and culturally uniform nation is akin to the racist who is intolerant toward those who look and behave differently. The patriot is a &quot;diversitarian&quot;; he is pleased, indeed proud of the variety within the borders of his country; he looks for loyalty from all citizens. And he looks up and down, not left and right. ~ [[Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn]]]]
[[File:John Smibert - Bishop George Berkeley - Google Art Project.jpg|thumb|To be a good patriot, a man must consider his countrymen as God's creatures, and himself as accountable for his acting towards them. ~ [[George Berkeley]]]]
'''[[w:Patriotism|Patriotism]]''' or '''national pride''' is the feeling of love, devotion and sense of attachment to a [[w:homeland|homeland]] and alliance with other citizens who share the same sentiment.
__NOTOC__
{{TOCalpha|[[#Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'']] · [[#Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations (1989)|''Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations'']]}}
==A==

* Patriotism is in political life what faith is in religion.
** [[John Dalberg-Acton, 1st Baron Acton|Lord Acton]], &quot;Nationality&quot;, ''The Home and Foreign Review'' (July 1862).

* The liberties of our country, the freedom of our civil [[Constitutions|Constitution]] are worth defending at all hazards; and it is our duty to defend -them against all attacks. We have received them as a fair [[inheritance]] from our worthy ancestors. They purchased them for us with toil, and danger, and expense of treasure and blood, and transmitted them to us with care and diligence. It will bring an everlasting mark of infamy on the present generation, enlightened as it is, if we should suffer them to be wrested from us by violence without a struggle, or be cheated out of them by the artifices of false and designing men. Of the latter, we are in most danger at present. Let us therefore be aware of it. Let us contemplate our forefathers and posterity, and resolve to maintain the rights bequeathed to us from the former for the sake of the latter. Instead of sitting down satisfied with the efforts we have already made, which is the wish of our enemies, the necessity of the times more than ever calls for our utmost circumspection, deliberation, fortitude, and perseverance. Let us remember that &quot;if we suffer tamely a lawless attack upon our liberty, we encourage it, and involve others in our doom!&quot; It is a very serious consideration, which should deeply impress our minds, ''that millions yet unborn may be the miserable sharers in the event!''
**[[Samuel Adams]], written as &quot;Candidus&quot; in ''The te'' (14 October 1771), later published in ''The Life and Public Services of Samuel Adams'' (1865) by William R. Vincent Wells, p. 425.

* Who would not be that youth? What pity is it&lt;br&gt;That we can die but once to save our country!
** [[Joseph Addison]], ''Cato, A Tragedy'' (1713), Act IV, scene 4

* There is no greater sign of a general decay of virtue in a nation, than a want of zeal in its inhabitants for the good of their country. This generous and publick-spirited passion has been observed of late years to languish and grow cold in this our Island; where a party of men have made it their business to represent it as chimerical and romantic, to destroy in the minds of the people the sense of national glory, and to turn into ridicule our natural and ancient Allies, who are united to us by the common interests both of religion and policy. It may not therefore be unseasonable to recommend to this present generation the practice of that virtue, for which their ancestors were particularly famous, and which is called ''The love of one's country''. This love to our country, as a moral virtue, is a fixed disposition of mind to promote the safety, welfare, and reputation of the community in which we are born, and of the constitution under which we are protected.
** [[Joseph Addison]], ''The Freeholder'', No. 5 (6 January 1716), quoted in ''The Works of the Right Honourable Joseph Addison, Esq; Volume the Fourth'' (1721), p. 371

*''Pugnate pro patria'', fight for you country, your dearest country, wherein you have been bred, born, nourished and brought up, toward which you ought to be as inwardly affected, as you are naturally moved to your mothers. It is your native soil, and therefore most sweet; for what may be dearer or sweeter than your Country?
**[[w:William Averell|William Averell]], ''A Mervalious Combat of Contrarieties'' (1588), quoted in Bertrand T. Whitehead, ''Brags and Boasts: Propaganda in the Year of the Armada'' (1994), pp. 83-84

==B==
*We cannot without damage to our soul's health destroy the roots which bind us to the land and language of our birth. The love of country is a deep and universal instinct, freighted with ancient memories and subtle associations. Men who deny their national spiritual heritage in exchange for a vague and watery [[w:Cosmopolitanism|cosmopolitanism]] become less than men; they starve and dwarf their personalities; they turn into a sort of political eunuch.
**[[Stanley Baldwin]], speech to the [[w:Saint David's Day|St. David's Day]] Banquet in Cardiff (1 March 1927), quoted in ''Our Inheritance'' (1938), p. 50

* '''To be a good patriot, a man must consider his countrymen as God's creatures, and himself as accountable for his acting towards them.'''
**[[Bishop Berkeley]], reported in Josiah Hotchkiss Gilbert, ''Dictionary of Burning Words of Brilliant Writers'' (1895), p. 442

* Patriotism, n. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit it is the first.
** [[Ambrose Bierce]], ''The Devil's Dictionary'' (1911)

* If modern youth has realized, as I believe it has, that to live for one's country is a finer type of patriotism than to die for it, then the youth of my generation will not, after all, have laid down the best of its life in vain.
**  [[Vera Brittain]], &quot;Youth and War&quot;, 13 December 1934. Quoted in Paul Berry and Mark Bostridge, ''Vera Brittain: A Life''. Chatto and Windus, 1995. (p. 305)

* The unbought grace of life, the cheap defence of nations, the nurse of manly sentiment and heroic enterprise, is gone!
** [[Edmund Burke]], ''Reflections on the Revolution in France'' (1790), Volume III, p. 331

==C==
* But this I would say, standing as I do in the view of God and Eternity — I realise that '''patriotism is not enough. I must have no bitterness or hatred towards anyone.'''
** [[Edith Cavell]] (October 11, 1915), the evening before her execution by a German firing squad. S. Theodore Felstead, ''Edith Cavell: The Crime That Shook the World'' (London: George Newnes, 1950), pp. 185–6.

* “My country, right or wrong”, is a thing that no patriot would think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying, “My mother, drunk or sober”.
** [[G. K. Chesterton]], ''The Defendant'' (1901), p. 166.

* When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home.
** [[Winston Churchill]], speech, House of Commons (April 18, 1947)

*[W]hen with a rational spirit you have surveyed the whole field, there is no social relation among them all more close, none more dear than that which links each one of us with our country. Parents are dear; dear are children, relatives, friends; but one native land embraces all our loves; and who that is true would hesitate to give his life for her, if by his death he could render her a service? So much the more execrable are those monsters who have torn their fatherland to pieces with every form of outrage and who are and have been engaged in compassing her utter destruction.
**[[Cicero]], ''[[w:De Officiis|De Officiis]]'', 1.57 (44 BC), quoted in ''De officiis. With an English translation by Walter Miller'' (1913), pp. 59, 61

*My education was built up upon ruthlessly hard-and-fast ideas crowned by a patriotism that nothing could shake. In the [[w:War in the Vendée|insurrection of Vendée]], allied with the foreigner against [[w:First French Republic|Revolutionary France]], the two qualities of patriot and republican were so merged in one another that the Ghouans called us ''patauds'', an insult that my forbears were proud of. The fatherland was, and could only be, everybody's home, where energies were developed in common. To renounce one's country had neither sense nor meaning. You might as well have expected the child to want to leave the shelter of its mother's wing. The home, the country, this was no theory; it was a natural phenomenon that had been realized from the very earliest ages of mankind. Animals had a temporary home in their lairs, man a permanent one in his country.
**[[Georges Clemenceau]], ''Grandeur and Misery of Victory'' (1930), p. 341

* The Nation has need of all that can be contributed to it through the best efforts of all its citizens. The colored people have repeatedly proved their devotion to the high ideals of our country. They gave their services in the war with the same [[w:Patriotism|patriotism]] and readiness that other citizens did. The records of the selective draft show that somewhat more than 2,250,000 [[African American|colored men]] were registered. The records further prove that, far from seeking to avoid participation in the national defense, they showed that they wished to enlist before the selective service act was put into operation, and they did not attempt to evade that act afterwards.
**[[Calvin Coolidge]], as quoted in [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt commencement address at Howard University] (6 June 1924), Washington, D.C.

* The [[propaganda]] of [[prejudice]] and hatred which sought to keep the colored men from supporting the national cause completely failed. The [[Black people|black]] man showed himself the same kind of citizen, moved by the same kind of patriotism, as the [[White people|white]] man. They were tempted, but not one betrayed [[United States|his country]]. Among well-nigh 400,000 colored men who were taken into the military service, about one-half had overseas experience. They came home with many decorations and their conduct repeatedly won high commendation from both American and European commanders.
**[[Calvin Coolidge]], as quoted in [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt commencement address at Howard University] (6 June 1924), Washington, D.C.

==D==
* Patriotism is an ephemeral motive that scarcely ever outlasts the particular threat to society that aroused it.
**[[Denis Diderot]], ''Observations on the Drawing Up of Laws'' (written in 1774 for [[Catherine II of Russia|Catherine the Great]]; published 1921)

*Befitting acts are all those which reason prevails with us to do; and this is the case with honouring one's parents, brothers and country, and intercourse with friends. Unbefitting, or contrary to duty, are all acts that reason deprecates, e.g. to neglect one's parents, to be indifferent to one's brothers, not to agree with friends, to disregard the interests of one's country, and so forth.
**[[Diogenes Laërtius]], ''Lives of the Eminent Philosophers'', VII.108, quoted in ''Lives of the Eminent Philosophers, Vol. II'', translated by Robert Drew Hicks (1925; 1995), p. 215

*[T]he principle of patriotism, which is the soul of free communities. 
**[[Benjamin Disraeli]], speech to the annual meeting of the Royal and Central Bucks Agricultural Association in Aylesbury (20 September 1876), quoted in ''The Times'' (21 September 1876), p. 6

*[T]he noblest of human sentiments, now decried by philosophers—the sentiment of patriotism.
**[[Benjamin Disraeli]], speech at the [[w:Guildhall, London|Guildhall, London]] (9 November 1879), quoted in William Flavelle Monypenny and George Earle Buckle, ''The Life of Benjamin Disraeli, Earl of Beaconsfield. Volume II. 1860–1881'' (1929), p. 1367

==E==
* No matter that patriotism is too often the refuge of scoundrels. '''[[Dissent]], [[rebellion]], and all-around hell-raising remain the true duty of patriots.'''
** [[Barbara Ehrenreich]] &quot;Family Values,&quot; The Worst Years of Our Lives: Irreverent Notes from a Decade of Greed (1991).

* '''Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism— how passionately I hate them!'''
**[[Albert Einstein]], ''Ideas and opinions'', p. 10, chapter: &quot;The world as I see it&quot;, translated by Sonja Bargmann from ''Mein Weltbild'' edited by Varl Seeling. Wings Books (New York), {{ISBN|978-0517003930}}.

* '''I am against any [[nationalism]], even in the guise of mere patriotism.''' [[Privilege|Privileges]] based on position and [[property]] have always seemed to me unjust and pernicious, as did any exaggerated personality cult.
** [[Albert Einstein]], ''My Credo'' (1932)

* '''Patriotism means equipped forces and a prepared citizenry. Moral stamina means more energy and more productivity, on the farm and in the factory. Love of [[liberty]] means the guarding of every resource that makes freedom possible—from the sanctity of our families and the wealth of our soil to the genius of our scientists.'''
** [[Dwight D. Eisenhower]], [[s:Dwight Eisenhower's First Inaugural Address|First Inaugural Address (20 January 1953)]]

==F==
* [[United States|America]] now is stumbling through the darkness of hatred and divisiveness. Our values, our principles, and our determination to succeed as a free and democratic people will give us a torch to light the way. And we will survive and become the stronger—not only because of a patriotism that stands for love of country, but a patriotism that stands for love of people.
** [[Gerald R. Ford]], address to the state conference of the Order of DeMolay, Grand Rapids, Michigan (September 7, 1968); in Michael V. Doyle, ed., ''Gerald R. Ford, Selected Speeches'' (1973), p. 77.

* Nationalism is our form of incest, is our idolatry, is our insanity. &quot;Patriotism&quot; is its cult. It should hardly be necessary to say, that by &quot;patriotism&quot; I mean that attitude which puts the own nation above humanity, above the principles of truth and justice; not the loving interest in one's own nation, which is the concern with the nation's spiritual as much as with its material welfare—never with its power over other nations. Just as love for one individual which excludes the love for others is not love, love for one's country which is not part of one's love for humanity is not love, but idolatrous worship.
**[[Erich Fromm]], in [[Erich Fromm#The Sane Society (1955)|''The Sane Society'']] (1955).

* There are two Americas. One is the America of [[Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]] and [[Adlai Stevenson]]; the other is the America of [[Theodore Roosevelt|Teddy Roosevelt]] and the modern superpatriots. One is generous and humane, the other narrowly egotistical; one is self-critical, the other self-righteous; one is sensible, the other romantic; one is good-humored, the other solemn; one is inquiring, the other pontificating; one is moderate, the other filled with passionate intensity; one is judicious and the other arrogant in the use of great power.
**[[J. William Fulbright]], ''The Arrogance of Power'' (1966).

*If you think in terms of people divided up into countries, you won't follow me. The idea of countries is going by the boards. Young people are getting wonderfully uprooted and they're too strong to get sucked into this 'country' crap.
:*[[Buckminster Fuller]], quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=kVMEAAAAMBAJ&amp;pg=PA46 &quot;The View from the Year 2000&quot;] by [[w:Barry Farrell (journalist)|Barry Farrell]] in [[w:Life (magazine)|''LIFE'' magazine]] (26 February 1971)

==G==
*That public virtue, which among the ancients was denominated patriotism, is derived from a strong sense of our own interest, in the preservation and prosperity of the free government of which we are members. Such a sentiment, which had rendered the legions of the republic almost invincible, could make but a very feeble impression on the mercenary servants of a despotic prince; and it became necessary to supply that defect by other motives, of a different, but not less forcible nature; honour and religion.
**[[Edward Gibbon]], ''[[The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire|The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Volume the First]] '' (1776), p. 10

* It should be the work of a genuine and noble patriotism to raise the life of the nation to the level of its privileges; to harmonize its general practice with its abstract principles; to reduce to actual facts the ideals of its institutions; to elevate instruction into knowledge; to deepen knowledge into wisdom; to render knowledge and wisdom complete in righteousness; and to make the love of country perfect in the love of man.
**[[Henry Giles]], reported in Josiah Hotchkiss Gilbert, ''Dictionary of Burning Words of Brilliant Writers'' (1895), p. 442.

*Patriotism ruins history.
** [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]], Conversation with Friedrich Wilhem Riemer (July, 1817).

* [[Conceit]], [[arrogance]], and [[egotism]] are the essentials of patriotism. … Patriotism assumes that our globe is divided into little spots, each one surrounded by an iron gate. Those who have had the fortune of being born on some particular spot, consider themselves better, nobler, grander, more intelligent than the living beings inhabiting any other spot. It is, therefore, the duty of everyone living on that chosen spot to fight, kill, and die in the attempt to impose his superiority upon all the others.
**[[Emma Goldman]], ''Patriotism: a menace to liberty''.

* We Americans claim to be a peace-loving people. We hate bloodshed; we are opposed to [[violence]]. Yet we go into spasms of joy over the possibility of projecting dynamite [[bombs]] from [[Airplane|flying machines]] upon helpless citizens. We are ready to hang, electrocute, or [[Lynching|lynch]] anyone, who, from economic necessity, will risk his own life in the attempt upon that of some [[Business magnate|industrial magnate]]. Yet our hearts swell with pride at the thought that America is becoming the most powerful nation on earth, and that she will eventually plant her iron foot on the necks of all other nations.  Such is the logic of patriotism.
**[[Emma Goldman]], ''What is Patriotism?'' (1908).

* Thinking [[Man|men]] and [[women]] the world over are beginning to realize that patriotism is too narrow and limited a conception to meet the necessities of our time.
** [[Emma Goldman]], ''What is Patriotism?'' (1908).

*When we have undermined the patriotic lie, we shall have cleared the path for the great structure where all shall be united into a universal brotherhood — a truly free society.
**[[Emma Goldman]], ''What is Patriotism?'' (1908).

*[[Leo Tolstoy]] … defines patriotism as the principle that will justify the training of wholesale [[Homicide|murderers]].
**[[Emma Goldman]] in a speech titled ''What is patriotism?'' delivered in 1908.

==H==
* '''I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.'''
** [[Nathan Hale]], last words before being hanged by the British as a spy, (September 22, 1776), according to the account by [[w:William Hull|William Hull]] based on reports by British Captain [[w:John Montresor|John Montresor]] who was present and who spoke to Hull under a flag of truce the next day:
:: ‘On the morning of his execution,’ continued the officer, ‘my station was near the fatal spot, and I requested the Provost Marshal to permit the prisoner to sit in my marquee, while he was making the necessary preparations. Captain Hale entered: he was calm, and bore himself with gentle dignity, in the consciousness of rectitude and high intentions. He asked for writing materials, which I furnished him: he wrote two letters, one to his mother and one to a brother officer.’ He was shortly after summoned to the gallows. But a few persons were around him, yet his characteristic dying words were remembered. He said, ‘I only regret, that I have but one life to lose for my country.’
: Some speculation exists that Hale might have been repeating or paraphrasing lines from [[Joseph Addison]]'s play ''Cato'', Act IV, Scene IV: ''
:: How beautiful is death when earned by virtue. Who would not be that youth? '''What pity is it that we can die but once to serve our country.'''
: See George Dudley Seymour, ''Captain Nathan Hale, Major John Palsgrave Wyllys, A Digressive History'', (1933), p. 39.
: Another early variant of his last words exists, as reported in the ''Independent Chronicle and the Universal Advertiser'' (17 May 1781):
:: '''I am so satisfied with the cause in which I have engaged, that my only regret is, that I have not more lives than one to offer in its service.'''

* The difference between patriotism and nationalism is that the patriot is proud of his country for what it does, and the nationalist is proud of his country no matter what it does; the first attitude creates a feeling of responsibility, but the second a feeling of blind arrogance that leads to war.
** [[Sydney J. Harris]], ''Strictly Personal'' (1953), &quot;Purely Personal Prejudices&quot;.

* The most noble fate a man can endure is to place his own mortal body between his loved home and the war's desolation.
** [[Robert A. Heinlein]], ''[[Starship Troopers]]''.

*'''Gentlemen may cry, Peace, peace! But there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? '''Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!'''
** [[Patrick Henry]], ''Give me liberty or give me death!'' (1775).

* I was over in [[Australia]], and I was asked, 'Are you proud to be an American?' And I was like, 'Um, I don't know, I didn't have a lot to do with it. You know, my parents ''fucked'' there, that's about all. You know, I was in the spirit realm at that time. &quot;Fuck in [[Paris]]! Fuck in Paris!&quot; but they couldn't hear me, cos I didn't have a mouth. I was a spirit without lungs or mouth or vocal cords.' They fucked ''here''. OK, I'm proud. I hate patriotism. I can't stand it, man. Makes me fuckin' sick. It's a round world last time I checked, OK? You know what I mean. I hate patriotism. In fact, that's how we could stop patriotism, I think. Instead of putting stars and stripes on our flags, we should put pictures of our parents fucking.
** [[Bill Hicks]] (1993), live at Laff Stop, Austin, TX. Recording of show included in ''[[w:Rant in E-Minor|Rant in E-Minor]]'' (1997). Transcription in ''[[w:Love All the People: Letters, Lyrics, Routines|Love All the People]]'' (2004).

*''Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori''. 
**It is sweet and honourable to die for one's country.
**[[Horace]], ''[[w:Odes (Horace)|Odes]]'', Book III, ode ii, line 13

* The [[Protestantism|Protestant]] way of reconciling the commandments of [[Christ]] with those human activities that appealed to them was to declare any reconciliation to be impossible. … We must love our enemies. But whether this means burning the heretic and the witch, sending children to work before they can read, making bombs and blessing them, or whether it means the opposite, each believer has to decide for himself without even suspecting what the true will of God might be. A guiding light, though a deceptive one, is provided by the interest of the fatherland, of which there is little mention in the [[Gospel|Gospels]]. In the last few centuries, an incomparably greater number of believers have staked their lives for their country than for the forbidden love of its enemies. The idealists from [[Fichte]] to [[Hegel]] have also taken an active part in this development. In [[Europe]], faith in God has now become faith in one’s own people. The motto, “Right or wrong, my country,” together with the tolerance of other religions with similar views, takes us back into that ancient world from which the primitive Christians had turned away.
** [[Max Horkheimer]], “Theism and Atheism” (1963), in ''Critique of Instrumental Reason'' (1974).

* I have written for all, with a profound love for my own country, but without being engrossed by [[France]] more than by any other nation. In proportion as I advance in life, I grow more simple, and I become more and more [[patriotic]] for humanity.
** [[Victor Hugo]], in a letter To M. Daelli, publisher of the Italian translation of ''[[Les Misérables]]'' (18 October 1862).

==I==
* Patriotism varies, from a noble devotion to a moral lunacy.
**[[William Ralph Inge]], in &quot;Our Present Discontents&quot; (August 1919) in ''Outspoken Essays'' (1919), p. 2.

* Who fears to speak of Ninety-eight?&lt;br&gt;Who blushes at the name?&lt;br&gt;When cowards mock the patriot's fate,&lt;br&gt;Who hangs his head for shame?
** [[John K. Ingram]], ''The Dublin Nation'' (April 1, 1843), Volume II, p. 339.

==J==
* Our [[Union (American Civil War)|Union]]: It must be preserved.
** [[Andrew Jackson]], toast at a Jefferson Day dinner (April 13, 1830). Marquis James, ''Andrew Jackson: Portrait of a President'' (1937), p. 235. The account by James emphasizes the shocked reaction of Jackson's vice president, John C. Calhoun, to this toast, since it was clear he had lost Jackson's support of the Southern cause of nullification. When Calhoun's turn came, his toast was: &quot;The Union, next to our liberty, most dear. May we all remember that it can only be preserved by respecting the rights of the States and by distributing equally the benefits and burdens of the Union&quot; (pp. 235–36). According to Martin Van Buren, ''Autobiography'' (1920, reprinted 1973), vol. 2, p. 415, at the urging of General Hayne, Jackson altered his toast to &quot;Our Federal Union&quot; before it was given to the newspapers, and it was reported in this form in many sources including James Parton, ''Life of Andrew Jackson'' (1860), vol. 3, p. 283, and Thomas Hart Benton, ''Thirty Years View'' (1854, reprinted 1883), vol. 1, p. 148.

*I'm no second-class citizen either and no man here is, unless he thinks like one and reasons like one and performs like one. This is my country and I believe in her, and I will serve her, and I'll contribute to her welfare whenever and however I can. If she has any ills, I'll stand by her until in God's given time, through her wisdom and her consideration for the welfare of the entire nation, she will put them right.
**[[Daniel James Jr.]], as quoted in ''The Right to Fight: A History of African Americans in The Military'' (1998), by Gerald Astor, De Capo Press, pp. 440–443

*The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure.'''
** [[Thomas Jefferson]][http://odur.let.rug.nl/~usa/P/tj3/writings/brf/jefl64.htm Letter] to [[w:William Stephens Smith|William Stephens Smith]] (13 November 1787), quoted in Padover's ''Jefferson On Democracy''.

* Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
**[[Samuel Johnson]], statement (7 April 1775), as quoted in ''[[w:The Life of Samuel Johnson|Life of Samuel Johnson]]'' (1791) by [[w:James Boswell|James Boswell]], p. 253; Boswell's full mention of this statement reads:
:: Patriotism having become one of our topicks, Johnson suddenly uttered, in a strong determined tone, an apophthegm, at which many will start: &quot;Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.&quot; But let it be considered, that he did not mean a real and generous love of our country, but that pretended patriotism which so many, in all ages and countries, have made a cloak of self-interest.

==K==
* I never felt so near the glory of Patriotism, the glory of making by any means a country happier.
** [[John Keats]] (July 1, 1818) in a letter to Thomas Keats (June 29 - July 2, 1818). ''Letters of John Keats to His Family and Friends'', edited by [[w:Sidney Colvin|Sidney Colvin]] (London: Macmillan, 1891), p. 117.
** Usually quoted in the form &quot;Patriotism is the glory of making by any means a country happier,&quot; e.g. by [[w:Elizabeth Goudge|Elizabeth Goudge]] in ''The Castle on the Hill'' (1942), chapters VI.i and XIV.ii.

* '''Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty.'''
** [[John F. Kennedy]], Inaugural Address, (20 January 1961).

* '''And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you — ask what you can do for your country.&lt;br&gt;My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.'''
** [[John F. Kennedy]], Inaugural Address, (20 January 1961).

*Patriotism, not nationalism, should inspire the citizen. The ethnic nationalist who wants a linguistically and culturally uniform nation is akin to the racist who is intolerant toward those who look (and behave) differently. The patriot is a &quot;diversitarian&quot;; he is pleased, indeed proud of the variety within the borders of his country; he looks for loyalty from all citizens. And he looks up and down, not left and right.
**[[Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn]], ''Leftism Revisited'' (1990), p. 327

==L==
* All should unite in honest efforts to obliterate the effects of war, and to restore the blessings of peace. They should remain, if possible, in the country; promote harmony and good feeling; qualify themselves to vote; and elect to the State and general [[Legislature|Legislatures]] wise and patriotic men, who will devote their abilities to the interests of the country, and the healing of all dissensions. I have invariably recommended this course since the cessation of hostilities, and have endeavored to practice it myself.
**[[Robert E. Lee]], in a letter to former Virginia governor [[w:John Letcher|John Letcher]] (28 August 1865), as quoted in ''Personal Reminiscences, Anecdotes, and Letters of Gen. Robert E. Lee'' (1875) by John William Jones, p. 203.

* True patriotism sometimes requires of men to act exactly contrary, at one period, to that which it does at another, and the motive which impels them — the desire to do right — is precisely the same.
**[[Robert E. Lee]], in a letter to General [[w:P. G. T. Beauregard|P. G. T. Beauregard]] (3 October 1865).

==M==
* '''[[Faith]] and patriotism are the two great thaumaturges of this world.''' Both are divine; all their actions are prodigies. Do not go to them talking of examination, choice, or discussion; they will say that you blaspheme. They know only two words: ''submission'' and ''belief;'' with these two levers they raise the world. Even their errors are [[Sublime (philosophy)|sublime]]. These two children of [[Heaven]] prove their origin to all eyes by creating and conserving; but if they unite, join their forces, and together take possession of a nation, they exalt it, they divinize it, and they increase its forces a hundred-fold.
** [[Joseph de Maistre]], ''Against Rousseau'' (1795), p. 88

* In uniform patriotism can salute one flag only, embrace but the first circle of life—one's own land and tribe. In war that is necessary, in peace it is not enough.
**[[Bill Moyers]], &quot;At Large&quot;, speech at the Peace Corps twenty-fifth anniversary memorial service (21 September 1986), published in ''Moyers on Democracy'' (2008), p. 26.

==N==
* I have no patriotism, for patriotism, as I see it, is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles.
** [[George Jean Nathan]], ''Testament of a Critic'' (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1931), p. 16.

==O==
* By 'nationalism'... I mean the habit of identifying oneself with a single nation or other unit, placing it beyond good and evil and recognising no other duty than that of advancing its interests. Nationalism is not to be confused with patriotism. Both words are normally used in so vague a way that any definition is liable to be challenged, but one must draw a distinction between them, since two different and even opposing ideas are involved. 
**[[George Orwell]], ''Essay: Notes on Nationalism'' (1945).

*By 'patriotism' I mean devotion to a particular place and a particular way of life, which one believes to be the best in the world but has no wish to force on other people. Patriotism is of its nature defensive, both militarily and culturally. Nationalism, on the other hand, is inseparable from the desire for power. The abiding purpose of every nationalist is to secure more power and more prestige, not for himself but for the nation or other unit in which he has chosen to sink his own individuality.
**[[George Orwell]], ''Essay: Notes on Nationalism'' (1945).

* No one is patriotic about [[Taxation|taxes]].
** [[George Orwell]], [http://orwelldiaries.wordpress.com/2010/08/09/9-8-40/ ''Orwell Diaries 1938-1942'', (9 August 1940)].

==P==
*'''THESE are the [[times]] that try men's [[souls]]. The [[summer]] soldier and the sunshine [[patriot]] will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their [[country]]; but he that stands it now, deserves the [[love]] and thanks of man and woman
**[[Thomas Paine]], ''The American Crisis'' (1776 - 1783)

*I would sooner receive injustice in the [[Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom|Queen]]'s courts than justice in a foreign court. I hold that man or woman to be a scoundrel who goes abroad to a foreign court to have the judgments of the Queen's courts overturned, the actions of her Government countermanded or the legislation of [[Parliament of the United Kingdom|Parliament]] struck down.
**[[Enoch Powell]], Speech in Ilford (13 March 1982), from Simon Heffer, ''Like the Roman. The Life of Enoch Powell'' (Phoenix, 1999), p. 853.

==R==
* National pride is to countries what self-respect is to individuals: a necessary condition for self-improvement.
**[[Richard Rorty]] - ''[[w:Achieving Our Country|Achieving Our Country]]: Leftist Thought in Twentieth Century America''. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1998
&lt;!--* It is right to prefer our own country to all others, because we are children and citizens before we can be travellers or philosophers. … It is no accident for the soul to be embodied; her very essence is to express and bring to fruition the body's functions and resources. Its instincts make her ideals and its relations her world. A native country is a sort of second body, another enveloping organism to give the will definition. A specific inheritance strengthens the soul.//not in Santayana 1905 chapter 7--&gt;

* [Patriotism is the] willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.
** [[Bertrand Russell]], ''Sceptical Essays'' (1928), Ch. 13: Freedom in Society.

* Patriots always talk of dying for their country, and never of killing for their country.
** [[Bertrand Russell]], ''Has Man a Future?'' (1962).

==S==
* A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world.
** [[George Santayana]], {{w|The Life of Reason}} (1905) Chapter VII: Patriotism.

* To me, it seems a dreadful indignity to have a soul controlled by geography.
** [[George Santayana]], letter (16 August 1914) to Mary Williams Winslow. ''The Letters of George Santayana, Book Two 1910–1920'', edited by William G. Holzberger (Cambridge, MA: The MIT Press, 2001), p. 192.

*Patriotism, when it wants to make itself felt in the domain of learning, is a dirty fellow who should be thrown out of doors.
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], ''Parerga and Paralipomena'' (1851) '' Counsels and Maxims'' Vol. 2, Ch. 21, § 255.

* The cheapest sort of pride is national pride; for if a man is proud of his own nation, it argues that he has no qualities of his own of which he can be proud; otherwise he would not have recourse to those which he shares with so many millions of his fellowmen. The man who is endowed with important personal qualities will be only too ready to see clearly in what respects his own nation falls short, since their failings will be constantly before his eyes. But every miserable fool who has nothing at all of which he can be proud adopts, as a last resource, pride in the nation to which he belongs; he is ready and glad to defend all its faults and follies tooth and nail, thus reimbursing himself for his own inferiority.
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], ''The Wisdom of Life'', translated by Thomas Bailey Saunders, Chapter IV, Section 2. Pride

*Patriotism is an extension of the natural love of home... The term suggests that the sentiment is conceived on the model of love from child to parent, presumably because it is held to be a kind of piety, not reducible to any rescindable agreement or acquired affection. That would not make patriotism irrational, any more than love of parents is irrational, but it would do something to explain why the patriot himself may be able to give no reasoned basis for his emotion.
**[[Roger Scruton]], ''A Dictionary of Political Thought'' (1982; 2nd ed., 1996), p. 409

* No one loves his country for its size or eminence, but because it is his own.
** [[Seneca the Younger]], ''Letters to Lucilius'' (1st Century), translated by E. Phillips Barker (Oxford: The Clarendon Press, 1932), p. 221.

* Patriotism is, fundamentally, a conviction that a particular country is the best in the world because you were born in it.
** [[George Bernard Shaw]] in ''The World'' (15 November 1893). Cited in ''Not Bloody Likely!: And Other Quotations from Bernard Shaw'' (1996), [http://books.google.com/books?id=kHGW4_M89aMC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA142#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 142]

* That is a true sentiment which makes us feel that we do not love our country less, but more, because we have laid up in our minds the knowledge of other lands and other institutions and other races, and have had enkindled afresh within us the instinct of a common humanity, and of the universal beneficence of the Creator.
**[[Arthur Penrhyn Stanley]], reported in Josiah Hotchkiss Gilbert, ''Dictionary of Burning Words of Brilliant Writers'' (1895), p. 442.

* What do we mean by patriotism in the context of our times? … A patriotism that puts country ahead of self; a patriotism which is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.
**[[Adlai Stevenson]], speech in New York City (27 August 1952), quoted in ''Bartlett's Familiar Quotations'' (1955), Boston: Little, Brown and Co., p. 986.

==T==
* '''Patriotism … for rulers is nothing else than a tool for achieving their power-hungry and money-hungry goals, and for the ruled it means renouncing their human dignity, reason, conscience, and slavish submission to those in power. … Patriotism is [[slavery]].'''
**[[Leo Tolstoy]], ''[https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Patriotism_and_Christianity Patriotism and Christianity]'' (1894).

* Those attacks upon language and religion in [[Poland]], the Baltic provinces, Alsace, Bohemia, upon the [[Judaism|Jews]] in Russia, in every place that such acts of violence occur—in what name have they been, and are they, perpetrated? In none other than the name of that patriotism which you defend.&lt;br /&gt; Ask our savage Russifiers of Poland and the Baltic provinces, ask the persecutors of the Jews, why they act thus. They will tell you it is in defence of their native religion and language; they will tell you that if they do not act thus, their religion and language will suffer—the Russians will be Polonised, Teutonised, Judaised.
** [[Leo Tolstoy]], ''Patriotism and Christianity'', [http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Patriotism_and_Christianity/A_Reply_to_Criticisms A Reply to Criticisms]''.

* If patriotism is good, then [[Christianity]], which gives [[peace]], is an idle dream, and the sooner this teaching is eradicated, the better. But if Christianity really gives peace, and if we really want peace, then patriotism is a leftover from barbarous times, which must not only not be evoked and taught, as we now do, but which must be eradicated by all means of preaching, persuasion, contempt, and ridicule. If Christianity is the truth, and if we wish to live in peace, then we must not only have no sympathy for the power of our country, but must even rejoice in its weakening and contribute to it.
**[[Leo Tolstoy]], ''[http://www.nonresistance.org/docs_pdf/Tolstoy/Patriotism_or_Peace.pdf? Patriotism or Peace]''.

* I have already several times expressed the thought that in our day the feeling of patriotism is an unnatural, irrational, and harmful feeling, and a cause of a great part of the ills from which mankind is suffering, and that, consequently, this feeling – should not be cultivated, as is now being done, but should, on the contrary, be suppressed and eradicated by all means available to rational men. Yet, strange to say – though it is undeniable that the universal armaments and destructive wars which are ruining the peoples result from that one feeling – '''all my arguments showing the backwardness, anachronism, and harmfulness of patriotism have been met''', and are still met, either by silence, by intentional misinterpretation, or '''by a strange unvarying reply to the effect that only bad patriotism (Jingoism or Chauvinism) is evil, but that real good patriotism is a very elevated moral feeling, to condemn which is not only irrational but wicked.'''&lt;br /&gt;'''What this real, good patriotism consists in, we are never told; or, if anything is said about it, instead of explanation we get declamatory, inflated phrases, or, finally, some other conception is substituted for patriotism – something which has nothing in common with the patriotism we all know, and from the results of which we all suffer so severely.'''
**[[Leo Tolstoy]], ''[http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Patriotism_and_Government Patriotism and Government]''.

* It will be said, &quot;Patriotism has welded mankind into states, and maintains the unity of states.&quot; But men are now united in states; that work is done; why now maintain exclusive devotion to one's own state, when this produces terrible evils for all states and nations? For this same patriotism which welded mankind into states is now destroying those same states. If there were but one patriotism say of the English only then it were possible to regard that as conciliatory, or beneficent. But when, as now, there is American patriotism, English, German, French, Russian, all opposed to one another, in this event, patriotism no longer unites, but disunites.
**[[Leo Tolstoy]], ''[http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Patriotism_and_Government Patriotism and Government]''.
*At the bedrock of [[Politics of the United States|our politics]] will be a total allegiance to the [[United States|United States of America]], and through our loyalty to our country, we will rediscover our loyalty to each other. '''When you open your heart to patriotism, there is no room for prejudice.''' The [[The Bible|Bible]] tells us, &quot;How good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity.&quot; We must speak our minds openly, debate our disagreements honestly, but always pursue solidarity. When America is united, America is totally unstoppable. There should be no fear: We are protected, and we will always be protected. We will be protected by the great men and women of our [[United States Armed Forces|military]] and [[Law enforcement in the United States|law enforcement]], and most importantly, we will be protected by God.
**[[Donald Trump]], [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/inaugural-address-14 Inaugural Address], (20 January 2017) 
*If this organization is to have any hope of successfully confronting the challenges before us, it will depend, as [[Harry S. Truman|President Truman]] said some 70 years ago, on the &quot;independent strength of its members.&quot; If we are to embrace the opportunities of the future and overcome the present dangers together, there can be no substitute for strong, sovereign, and independent nations: nations that are rooted in their histories and invested in their destinies; nations that seek allies to befriend, not enemies to conquer; and most important of all, nations that are home to patriots, to men and women who are willing to sacrifice for their countries, their fellow citizens, and for all that is best in the human spirit. In remembering the great victory that led to this body's founding, we must never forget that those heroes who fought against evil also fought for the nations that they loved. Patriotism led the Poles to die to save [[Poland]], the French to fight for a free [[France]], and the Brits to stand strong for [[United Kingdom|Britain]]. Today, if we do not invest ourselves, our hearts, and our minds in our nations, if we will not build strong families, safe communities, and healthy societies for ourselves, no one can do it for us. We cannot wait for someone else, for faraway countries or far-off [[Bureaucracy|bureaucrats]]—we can't do it. We must solve our problems, to build our prosperity, to secure our futures, or we will build vulnerable to decay, domination, and defeat. The true question for the [[United Nations]] today, for people all over the world who hope for better lives for themselves and their children, is a basic one: Are we still patriots? Do we love our nations enough to protect their sovereignty and to take ownership of their futures? Do we revere them enough to defend their interests, preserve their cultures, and ensure a peaceful world for their citizens?
**[[Donald Trump]], [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/remarks-the-united-nations-general-assembly-new-york-city-13 Remarks to the United Nations General Assembly in New York City], (12 September 2017) 
*America is governed by Americans. We reject the ideology of globalism, and we embrace the doctrine of patriotism. Around the world, responsible nations must defend against threats to sovereignty not just from global governance, but also from other, new forms of coercion and domination.
**[[Donald Trump]], [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/remarks-the-united-nations-general-assembly-new-york-city-14 Remarks to the United Nations General Assembly in New York City], (25 September 2018) 
*Like my beloved country, each nation represented in this hall has a cherished history, culture, and heritage that is worth defending and celebrating and which gives us our singular potential and strength. The free world must embrace its national foundations. It must not attempt to erase them or replace them. Looking around and all over this large, magnificent planet, the truth is plain to see: If you want freedom, take pride in your country. If you want democracy, hold on to your sovereignty. And if you want peace, love your nation. Wise leaders always put the good of their own people and their own country first. '''The future does not belong to globalists. The future belongs to patriots.''' The future belongs to sovereign and independent nations who protect their citizens, respect their neighbors, and honor the differences that make each country special and unique.
**[[Donald Trump]], [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/remarks-the-united-nations-general-assembly-new-york-city-15 Remarks to the United Nations General Assembly in New York City], (24 September 2019)

* '''The modern patriotism, the true patriotism, the only rational patriotism is loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.'''
** [[Mark Twain]], in the essay &quot;The Czar's Soliloquy&quot;, ''The North American Review'', No. DLXXX (March 1905), p. 324.
** Often misquoted as &quot;Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.&quot;

* In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.  
** [[Mark Twain]], in ''Mark Twain's Notebook'', edited by [[w:Albert Paine|Albert Bigelow Paine]] (New York: Harper &amp; Brothers, 1935), p. 394.

*'''The soul and substance of what customarily ranks as patriotism is moral cowardice — and always has been.'''
** [[Mark Twain]], in ''Mark Twain's Notebook'', edited by [[w:Albert Paine|Albert Bigelow Paine]] (New York: Harper &amp; Brothers, 1935), p. 394.

* Patriotism always exists in the greatest degree in rude nations, and in an early period of society.
:* [[Alexander Fraser Tytler]], ''Universal History''. Vol. 1, Jordan and Wiley, 1847, [https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=ujM-AAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA221 p. 221]

==W==
[[File:GeorgeWashington.jpg|thumb|Citizens by birth or choice, of a common country, that country has a right to concentrate your affections. The name of American, which belongs to you, in your national capacity, must always exalt the just pride of Patriotism, more than any appellation derived from local discriminations. ~ [[George Washington]]]]
* Gentlemen have talked a great deal of patriotism. A venerable word, when duly practised. But I am sorry to say that of late it has been so much hackneyed about that it is in danger of falling into disgrace. The very idea of true patriotism is lost, and the term has been prostituted to the very worst of purposes.
** [[Robert Walpole]], [https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Speech_Against_his_Removal_from_Office Speech Against his Removal from Office given to the House of Commons] (1741).

* Citizens by birth or choice, of a common country, that country has a right to concentrate your affections. The name of AMERICAN, which belongs to you, in your national capacity, must always exalt the just pride of Patriotism, more than any appellation derived from local discriminations.
** [[George Washington]], farewell address (September 19, 1796); in John C. Fitzpatrick, ed., ''The Writings of George Washington'' (1940), vol. 35, p. 219–20.

* Our patriotism comes straight from the Romans. This is why [[France|French]] children are encouraged to seek inspiration for it in Corneille. It is a pagan virtue, if these two words are compatible. The word pagan, when applied to Rome, really possesses the significance charged with horror which the early Christian controversialists gave it. The Romans really were an atheistic and idolatrous people; not idolatrous with regard to images made of stone or bronze, but idolatrous with regard to themselves. It is this idolatry of self which they have bequeathed to us in the form of patriotism.
** [[Simone Weil]], ''[[w:The Need for Roots|The Need for Roots]]''.

* &quot;Every national border in Europe,&quot; El Eswad added ironically, &quot;marks the place where two gangs of bandits got too exhausted to kill each other anymore and signed a treaty. Patriotism is the delusion that one of these gangs of bandits is better than all the others.&quot;
** [[Robert Anton Wilson]], ''The Earth Will Shake: The History of the Early Illuminati'' (The Historical Illuminatus Chronicles Vol. 1) (1982).

*'''[[Liberty]] has never come from the government. Liberty has always come from the subjects of the government. The history of liberty is a history of resistance. The history of liberty is a history of the limitation of governmental [[power]], not the increase of it.'''
** [[Woodrow Wilson]], Speech at New York Press Club (9 September 1912), in The papers of Woodrow Wilson, 25:124.

*Patriotism is the vice of nations.
**[[Oscar Wilde]], Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young (1894).

*Patriotism is love and defense of one's own country, ordinarily considered a high virtue. The national flag is a sacred symbol; hearts quicken at the sound of martial bands. Celebrated in language, music, and the visual arts, patriotism leads us to some of our greatest acts of heroism. It gives us national holidays and justifies the purest kind of sacrifice. Patriotism can look fine and glamorous—at least in the abstract. Stripped of its ape essence, patriotism is male defense of the community, gloried among humans and surely enjoyed among [[chimpanzees]] and [[w:Bonobo|bonobos]]. For all the [[w:Cultural determinism|cultural determinists]]' efforts to persuade us that it's an arbitrary choice, patriotism seems such a fundamental aspect of being human that one can hardly imagine how things might be different.
**[[w:Richard Wrangham|Richard Wrangham]] and [[w:Dale Peterson|Dale Peterson]], ''[[w:Demonic Males|Demonic Males: Apes and the Origins of Human Violence]]'' (1996), p. 231

==Y==
*What is patriotism but love of the good things we ate in our childhood?
**[[Lin Yutang]], ''The Importance of Living'' (1937) Ch. IV : On Having A Stomach

==Z==
*'''If patriotism were defined, not as blind obedience to government, nor as submissive worship to flags and anthems, but rather as love of one's country, one's fellow citizens (all over the world), as loyalty to the principles of justice and democracy, then patriotism would require us to disobey our government, when it violated those principles.'''
** [[Howard Zinn]], ''Declarations of Independence: Cross-Examining American Ideology'' (1991).

==''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations''==
:&lt;small&gt;Quotes reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 584-87.&lt;/small&gt;

* The die was now cast; I had passed the Rubicon. Swim or sink, live or die, survive or perish with my country was my unalterable determination.
** [[John Adams]], ''Works'', Volume IV, p. 8. In a conversation with Jonathan Sewell (1774). (Peele in Edward I [1584?] used the phrase &quot;Live or die, sink or swim.&quot;).

* Our ships were British oak,&lt;br&gt;And hearts of oak our men.
** [[S. J. Arnold]], ''Death of Nelson''.

* From distant climes, o'er wide-spread seas we come,&lt;br&gt;Though not with much éclat or beat of drum;&lt;br&gt;True patriots all; for be it understood&lt;br&gt;We left our country for our country's good.&lt;br&gt;No private views disgraced our generous zeal,&lt;br&gt;What urged our travels was our country's weal.
** [[George Barrington]], prologue for the Opening of the Playhouse at Sydney, New South Wales, Jan. 16, 1796. Dr. Young's Revenge was played by convicts.

* Be Briton still to Britain true,&lt;br&gt;  Among oursel's united;&lt;br&gt;For never but by British hands&lt;br&gt;  Maun British wrangs be righted.
** [[Robert Burns]], ''Dumfries Volunteers''.

* Again to the battle, Achaians!&lt;br&gt;Our hearts bid the tyrants defiance!&lt;br&gt;Our land, the first garden of liberty's tree—&lt;br&gt;It has been, and shall yet be, the land of the free.
** [[Thomas Campbell]], ''Song of the Greeks''.

* God save our gracious king,&lt;br&gt;Long live our noble king,&lt;br&gt;  God save the king.
** [[Henry Carey]], ''God Save the King''.

* I realize that patriotism is not enough. I must have no hatred toward any one.
** [[Edith Cavell]]. Quoted by the Newspapers as her last words before she was shot to death by the Germans in Brussels, Oct. 12, 1915.

* &quot;My country, right or wrong,&quot; is a thing that no patriot would think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying, &quot;My mother, drunk or sober.&quot;
** [[G. K. Chesterton]], ''The Defendant''.

* We join ourselves to no party that does not carry the flag and I keep step to the music of the Union.
** [[Rufus Choate]], Letter to a Worcester Whig Convention. Oct. 1, 1855.

* ''Patria est communis omnium parens.''
** Our country is the common parent of all.
** [[Cicero]], Orationes in Catilinam. I. 7.

* I have heard something said about allegiance to the South: I know no South, no North, no East, no West, to which I owe any allegiance.
** [[Henry Clay]], in the U.S. Senate. (1848).

* I hope to find my country in the right: however I will stand by her, right or wrong.
** [[John J. Crittenden]], in Congress, when President Polk sent a message after the defeat of the Mexican General Arista by General Taylor. May, 1846.

* Our country! In her intercourse with foreign nations, may she always be in the right; but our country, right or wrong.
** [[Stephen Decatur]], toast given at Norfolk, April, 1816. See Mackenzie's Life of Stephen Decatur, Chapter XIV.

* I wish I was in de land ob cotton,&lt;br&gt;Ole times dar am not forgotten,&lt;br&gt;  Look-a-way! Look-a-way! Look-a-way, Dixie Land!&lt;br&gt;    *    *    *    *    *&lt;br&gt;Den I wish I was in Dixie, Hooray! Hooray!&lt;br&gt;  In Dixie Land I'll take my stand&lt;br&gt;To lib and die in Dixie.
** [[Daniel D. Emmett]], ''Dixie Land''. See account in Century, Aug., 1887. A Southern version was written by Albert Pike.

* 'Twas for the good of my country that I should be abroad. Anything for the good of one's country—I'm a Roman for that.
** [[George Farquhar]], ''The Beaux' Stratagem'', Act III, scene 2, line 89.

* ''Liberté, égalité, fraternité.''
** Liberty, equality, fraternity.
** Watchword of French Revolution.

* And bold and hard adventures t' undertake,&lt;br&gt;Leaving his country for his country's sake.
** [[Charles Fitzgeffrey]], ''Life and Death of Sir Francis Drake'' (1600), Stanza 213.

* Our country is the world—our countrymen are all mankind.
** [[William Lloyd Garrison]], ''Motto of the Liberator'', 1837–1839. &quot;My country&quot; originally—later changed to &quot;Our country&quot;.

* Such is the patriot's boast, where'er we roam,&lt;br&gt;His first best country ever is at home.
** [[Oliver Goldsmith]], ''The Traveler'', line 73.

* Strike—for your altars and your fires;&lt;br&gt;Strike—for the green graves of your sires;&lt;br&gt;    God—and your native land!
** [[Fitz-Greene Halleck]], ''Marco Bozzaris''.

* And have they fixed the where, and when?&lt;br&gt; And shall Trelawny die?&lt;br&gt;Here's thirty thousand Cornish men&lt;br&gt; Will know the reason why!
** [[Robert Stephen Hawker]], ''Song of the Western Men''. Mr. Hawker asserts that he wrote the ballad in 1825, all save the chorus and the last two lines, which since the imprisonment by James II, 1688, of the seven Bishops, have been popular throughout Cornwall. (Trelawny was Bishop of Bristol.) First appearance in the Royal Devonport Telegram and Plymouth Chronicle, Sept. 2, 1826. Story of the ballad in Macaulay's History of England. Footnote for Hawker.

* He serves his party best who serves the country best.
** [[Rutherford B. Hayes]], Inaugural Address (March 5, 1877).

* I am not a Virginian but an American.
** [[Patrick Henry]], in the Continental Congress (Sept. 5, 1774).

* One flag, one land, one heart, one hand,&lt;br&gt;One Nation evermore!
** [[Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.]], ''Voyage of the Good Ship Union'', ''Poems of the Class of '29''.

* He serves me most who serves his country best.
** [[Homer]], ''The Iliad'', Book X, line 206. Pope's translation.

* And for our country 'tis a bliss to die.
** [[Homer]], ''The Iliad'', Book XV, line 583. Pope's translation.

* That man is little to be envied, whose patriotism would not gain force upon the plain of Marathon, or whose piety would not grow warmer among the ruins of Iona.
** [[Samuel Johnson]], ''A Journey to the Western Islands'', ''Inch Kenneth''.

* ''Pater patriæ.''
** Father of his country.
** [[Juvenal]], ''Satire VIII'', 244. Title bestowed on Cicero (B.C. 64) after his consulship, &quot;a mark of distinction which none ever gained before.&quot; Plutarch—Life of Cicero. Pliny, Book VII, calls Cicero &quot;Parens patriæ.&quot; Title conferred on Peter the Great by the Russian Senate. (1721). See Post-Boy, Dec. 28–30, 1721. Also applied to Augustus Cæsar and Marius.

* ''Je meurs content, je meurs pour la liberté de mon pays.''
** I die content, I die for the liberty of my country.
** Attributed to Le Pelletier, also to Marshal Lannes.

* The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.
** [[Abraham Lincoln]], ''Inaugural Address'' (March 4, 1861).

* Is it an offence, is it a mistake, is it a crime to take a hopeful view of the prospects of your own country? Why should it be? Why should patriotism and pessimism be identical? Hope is the mainspring of patriotism.
** [[D. Lloyd George]], in the House of Commons (Oct. 30, 1919).

* And how can man die better&lt;br&gt;  Than facing fearful odds,&lt;br&gt;For the ashes of his fathers&lt;br&gt;  And the temples of his gods?
** [[Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1st Baron Macaulay]], ''Horatius keeps the Bridge''.

* 'Twere sweet to sink in death for Truth and Freedom!&lt;br&gt;Yes, who would hesitate, for who could bear&lt;br&gt;The living degradation we may know&lt;br&gt;If we do dread death for a sacred cause?
** [[Terence McSwiney]], lines written when a boy. In the ''Nation'' (Nov. 3, 1920).

* Our spirit is … to show ourselves eager to work for, and if need be, to die for the Irish Republic. Facing our enemy we must declare an attitude simply…. We ask for no mercy and we will make no compromise.
** [[Terence McSwiney]], Lord Mayor of Cork. From a document in his possession when he was sentenced, in August, 1920.

* ''Vox diversa sonat: populorum est vox tamen una,&lt;br&gt;Cum verus PATRIÆ diceris esse PATER.''
** There are many different voices and languages; but there is but one voice of the peoples when you are declared to be the true &quot;Father of your country.&quot;
** [[Martial]], ''De Spectaculis'', III. 11.

* We, that would be known&lt;br&gt;The father of our people, in our study&lt;br&gt;And vigilance for their safety, must, not change&lt;br&gt;Their ploughshares into swords, and force them from&lt;br&gt;The secure shade of their own vines, to be&lt;br&gt;Scorched with the flames of war.
** [[Philip Massinger]], ''The Maid of Honour'', Act I. 1.

* ''Nescio qua natale solum dulcedine captos&lt;br&gt;Ducit, et immemores non sinit esse sui.''
** Our native land charms us with inexpressible sweetness, and never allows us to forget that we belong to it.
** [[Ovid]], ''Epistolæ Ex Ponto'', I. 3. 35.

* ''Omne solum forti patria est.''
** The whole earth is the brave man's country.
** [[Ovid]], ''Fasti'', I. 501.

* ''Patria est, ubicunque est bene.''
** Our country is wherever we are well off.
** [[Pacuvius]], quoted by [[Cicero]], ''Tusculan''. Disputations. V. 37. Aristophanes. Plautus. [[Euripides]], Fragmenta Incerta. Phipiskus—Dion Cassius. I. 171.

* My country is the world, and my religion is to do good.
** [[Thomas Paine]], ''Rights of Man'', Chapter V.

* They know no country, own no lord,&lt;br&gt;Their home the camp, their law the sword.
** Free rendering of passage in Silvio Pellico's ''Enfernio de Messina'', Act V, scene 2.

* Millions for defence, but not one cent for tribute.
** Attributed to [[Charles C. Pinckney]] when Ambassador to the French Republic (1796). Denied by him. Said to have been &quot;Not a penny—not a sixpence.&quot; Attributed also to Robert Goodloe Harper, of South Carolina. &quot;I have ten thousand for defense, but none to surrender; if you want our weapons, come and get them.&quot; The response of an ancient General.

* If I were an American, as I am on Englishman, while a foreign troop was landed in my country I never would lay down my arms, never! never! never!
** [[William Pitt]] (Earl of Chatham), speech (Nov. 18, 1777).

* Socrates said he was not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world.
** [[Plutarch]], ''On Banishment''.

* ''Patria est ubicumque vir fortis sedem elegerit.''
** A brave man's country is wherever he chooses his abode.
** [[Quintus Curtius Rufus]], ''De Rebus Gestis Alexandri Magni'', VI, 4, 13.

*&quot;'''patriotism''',&quot; i.e., a willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.
** [[Bertrand Russell]], ''Sceptical Essays'' (1928) Ch. 13: Freedom in Society.

*Patriots always talk of dying for their country, and never of killing for their country.
** [[Bertrand Russell]], ''Has Man a Future?'' (1962), p. 78.

* Our country, right or wrong! When right, to be kept right; when wrong, to be put right!
** [[Carl Schurz]], speech in U.S. Senate (1872).

* The truth is plain to see - if you want freedom, take pride in your country; if you want democracy, hold onto your sovereignty, and if you want peace, love your nation. Wise leaders always put the good of their own people and their own country first. The future does not belong to globalists. The future belongs to patriots. The future belongs to sovereign and independent nations who protect their citizens, respect their neighbors, and honor the differences that make each country special and unique.
** [[Donald Trump]], [https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefings-statements/remarks-president-trump-74th-session-united-nations-general-assembly/ Address at the 74th Session of the UN General Assembly]

* America is governed by Americans. We reject the ideology of globalism and we embrace the doctrine of patriotism.
** [[Donald Trump]], [https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefings-statements/remarks-president-trump-74th-session-united-nations-general-assembly/ Address at the 74th Session of the UN General Assembly]

* Where's the coward that would not dare&lt;br&gt;To fight for such a land?
** [[Walter Scott]], ''Marmion'' (1808), Canto IV, Stanza 30.

* ''Servare cives, major est virtus patriæ patri.''
** To preserve the life of citizens, is the greatest virtue in the father of his country.
** [[Seneca the Younger]], ''Octavia'', 444.

* Had I a dozen sons,—each in my love alike,  *  *  *  I had rather have eleven die nobly for their country, than one voluptuously surfeit out of action.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Coriolanus]]'' (c. 1607-08), Act I, scene 3, line 24.

* I do love&lt;br&gt;My country's good with a respect more tender,&lt;br&gt;More holy and profound, than mine own life.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Coriolanus]]'' (c. 1607-08), Act III, scene 3, line 111.

* Where liberty is, there is my country.
** [[Algernon Sidney]]'s motto.

* He held it safer to be of the religion of the King or Queen that were in being, for he knew that he came raw into the world, and accounted it no point of wisdom to be broiled out of it.
** [[John Taylor]], ''The Old, Old, Very Old Man''. (Parr).

* A saviour of the silver-coasted isle.
** [[Alfred Tennyson]], ''Ode on Death of Duke of Wellington'', Part VI.

* Put none but Americans on guard tonight.
** Attributed to [[George Washington]]. The only basis for this order seems to be found in Washington's circular letter to regimental commanders, dated April 30, 1777, regarding recruits for his body guard. &quot;You will therefore send me none but natives.&quot; A few months before, Thomas Hickey, a deserter from the British army, had tried to poison Washington, had been convicted and hanged.

* Hands across the sea,&lt;br&gt; Feet on English ground,&lt;br&gt;The old blood is bold blood, the wide world round.
** [[Byron Webber]], ''Hands Across the Sea''.

* Let our object be, our country, our whole country, and nothing but our country.
** [[Daniel Webster]], address at the Laying of the Corner-Stone of the Bunker Hill Monument (June 17, 1825).

* Thank God, I—I also—am an American!
** [[Daniel Webster]], ''Completion of Bunker Hill Monument'' (June 17, 1843).

* Sink or swim, live or die, survive or perish, I give my hand and heart to this vote.
** [[Daniel Webster]], ''Eulogy on Adams and Jefferson''.

* I was born an American; I live an American; I shall die an American!
** [[Daniel Webster]], speech (July 17, 1850).

* Patriotism has become a mere national self assertion, a sentimentality of flag-cheering with no constructive duties.
** [[H. G. Wells]], ''Future in America''.

* The lines of red are lines of blood, nobly and unselfishly shed by men who loved the liberty of their fellowmen more than they loved their own lives and fortunes. God forbid that we should have to use the blood of America to freshen the color of the flag. But if it should ever be necessary, that flag will be colored once more, and in being colored will be glorified and purified.
** [[Woodrow Wilson]], Flag Day Speech (May 7, 1915).

* Our country—whether bounded by the St. John's and the Sabine, or however otherwise bounded or described, and be the measurements more or less;—still our country, to be cherished in all our hearts, and to be defended by all our hands.
** [[Robert C. Winthrop]], toast at Faneuil Hall (July 4, 1845). &quot;Our country, however bounded.&quot; Toast founded on the speech of Winthrop.

* There are no points of the compass on the chart of true patriotism.
** [[Robert C. Winthrop]], letter to Boston Commercial Club (12 June 1879).

* Our land is the dearer for our sacrifices. The blood of our martyrs sanctifies and enriches it. Their spirit passes into thousands of hearts. How costly is the progress of the race. It is only by the giving of life that we can have life.
** Rev. [[E. J. Young]], ''Lesson of the Hour'', in ''Magazine of History'', Extra. No. 43. Originally pub. in Monthly Religious Mag., Boston (May, 1865).

* America is the crucible of God. It is the melting pot where all the races are fusing and reforming … these are the fires of God you've come to…. Into the crucible with you all. God is making the American.
** [[Israel Zangwill]], ''The Melting Pot''

==''Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations'' (1989)==
* We would rather starve than sell our national honor.
** [[Indira Gandhi]], prime minister of India, remark at election meeting in Nagpur, India, as reported by The New York Times, January 23, 1967, p. 1. India had accepted trade restrictions with North Vietnam and Cuba to get grain from the United States. Prime Minister Gandhi said this did not compromise the country's honor because India had not been trading with North Vietnam, and her trade with Cuba was limited to the selling of jute products, which was not objected to by the United States.

* With earnest prayers to all my friends to cherish mutual good will, to promote harmony and conciliation, and above all things to let the love of our country soar above all minor passions, I tender you the assurance of my affectionate esteem and respect.
** [[Thomas Jefferson]], letter to John Hollins (May 5, 1811); in Andrew A. Lipscomb, ed., ''The Writings of Thomas Jefferson'', vol. 13 (1903), p. 58–59.

* Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
** [[Samuel Johnson]], James Boswell, Life of Johnson, entry for Friday, April 7, 1775, p. 615 (1970). &quot;In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer, I beg to submit that it is the first&quot;. Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, at entry for patriotism, The Collected Writings of Ambrose Bierce, p. 323 (1946, reprinted 1973). H. L. Mencken added this to Johnson's dictum: &quot;But there is something even worse: it is the first, last, and middle range of fools&quot;. The World, New York City, November 7, 1926, p. 3E

* True patriotism sometimes requires of men to act exactly contrary, at one period, to that which it does at another, and the motive which impels them—the desire to do right—is precisely the same.
** [[Robert E. Lee]], letter to General P. G. T. Beauregard, October 3, 1865. John William Jones, Life and Letters of Robert Edward Lee, Soldier and Man, p. 390 (1906).

* Intellectually I know America is no better than any other country; emotionally I know she is better than every other country.
** [[Sinclair Lewis]], radio interview in Berlin, Germany, December 29, 1930, as reported by The New York Times, December 30, 1930, p. 5.

* Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country it is a sign that he expects to be paid for it.
** [[H. L. Mencken]], A Mencken Chrestomathy, chapter 30, p. 616 (1949).

* Breathes there the man, with soul so dead,&lt;br&gt;Who never to himself hath said,&lt;br&gt;This is my own, my native land!&lt;br&gt;Whose heart hath ne'er within him burn'd,&lt;br&gt;As home his footsteps he hath turn'd,&lt;br&gt;From wandering on a foreign strand!
** Sir [[Walter Scott]], The Lay of the Last Minstrel, ed. Margaret A. Allen, canto sixth, 1, lines 1–6, p. 123 (1915).

* I venture to suggest that what we mean is a sense of national responsibility which will enable America to remain master of her power—to walk with it in serenity and wisdom, with self-respect and the respect of all mankind; a patriotism that puts country ahead of self; a patriotism which is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime. These are words that are easy to utter, but this is a mighty assignment. For it is often easier to fight for principles than to live up to them.
** [[Adlai Stevenson]], Governor of Illinois, speech to the American Legion convention, New York City, August 27, 1952. Speeches of Adlai Stevenson, p. 81 (1952).

== See also ==
* [[Nation]]
* [[Nationalism]]
* [[Statolatry]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wiktionary|patriotism}}

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      <text bytes="74922" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Dwight D Eisenhower.jpg|thumb|Patriotism means equipped forces and a prepared citizenry. Moral stamina means more energy and more productivity, on the farm and in the factory. Love of liberty means the guarding of every resource that makes freedom possible--from the sanctity of our families and the wealth of our soil to the genius of our scientists. ~ [[Dwight D. Eisenhower]]]]
[[File:Naturalization ceremony at Kennedy Space Center.jpg|thumb|Patriotism, not nationalism, should inspire the citizen. The ethnic nationalist who wants a linguistically and culturally uniform nation is akin to the racist who is intolerant toward those who look and behave differently. The patriot is a &quot;diversitarian&quot;; he is pleased, indeed proud of the variety within the borders of his country; he looks for loyalty from all citizens. And he looks up and down, not left and right. ~ [[Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn]]]]
[[File:John Smibert - Bishop George Berkeley - Google Art Project.jpg|thumb|To be a good patriot, a man must consider his countrymen as God's creatures, and himself as accountable for his acting towards them. ~ [[George Berkeley]]]]
'''[[w:Patriotism|Patriotism]]''' or '''national pride''' is the feeling of love, devotion and sense of attachment to a [[w:homeland|homeland]] and alliance with other citizens who share the same sentiment.
__NOTOC__
{{TOCalpha|[[#Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'']] · [[#Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations (1989)|''Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations'']]}}
==A==

* Patriotism is in political life what faith is in religion.
** [[John Dalberg-Acton, 1st Baron Acton|Lord Acton]], &quot;Nationality&quot;, ''The Home and Foreign Review'' (July 1862).

* The liberties of our country, the freedom of our civil [[Constitutions|Constitution]] are worth defending at all hazards; and it is our duty to defend -them against all attacks. We have received them as a fair [[inheritance]] from our worthy ancestors. They purchased them for us with toil, and danger, and expense of treasure and blood, and transmitted them to us with care and diligence. It will bring an everlasting mark of infamy on the present generation, enlightened as it is, if we should suffer them to be wrested from us by violence without a struggle, or be cheated out of them by the artifices of false and designing men. Of the latter, we are in most danger at present. Let us therefore be aware of it. Let us contemplate our forefathers and posterity, and resolve to maintain the rights bequeathed to us from the former for the sake of the latter. Instead of sitting down satisfied with the efforts we have already made, which is the wish of our enemies, the necessity of the times more than ever calls for our utmost circumspection, deliberation, fortitude, and perseverance. Let us remember that &quot;if we suffer tamely a lawless attack upon our liberty, we encourage it, and involve others in our doom!&quot; It is a very serious consideration, which should deeply impress our minds, ''that millions yet unborn may be the miserable sharers in the event!''
**[[Samuel Adams]], written as &quot;Candidus&quot; in ''The te'' (14 October 1771), later published in ''The Life and Public Services of Samuel Adams'' (1865) by William R. Vincent Wells, p. 425.

* Who would not be that youth? What pity is it&lt;br&gt;That we can die but once to save our country!
** [[Joseph Addison]], ''Cato, A Tragedy'' (1713), Act IV, scene 4

* There is no greater sign of a general decay of virtue in a nation, than a want of zeal in its inhabitants for the good of their country. This generous and publick-spirited passion has been observed of late years to languish and grow cold in this our Island; where a party of men have made it their business to represent it as chimerical and romantic, to destroy in the minds of the people the sense of national glory, and to turn into ridicule our natural and ancient Allies, who are united to us by the common interests both of religion and policy. It may not therefore be unseasonable to recommend to this present generation the practice of that virtue, for which their ancestors were particularly famous, and which is called ''The love of one's country''. This love to our country, as a moral virtue, is a fixed disposition of mind to promote the safety, welfare, and reputation of the community in which we are born, and of the constitution under which we are protected.
** [[Joseph Addison]], ''The Freeholder'', No. 5 (6 January 1716), quoted in ''The Works of the Right Honourable Joseph Addison, Esq; Volume the Fourth'' (1721), p. 371

*''Pugnate pro patria'', fight for you country, your dearest country, wherein you have been bred, born, nourished and brought up, toward which you ought to be as inwardly affected, as you are naturally moved to your mothers. It is your native soil, and therefore most sweet; for what may be dearer or sweeter than your Country?
**[[w:William Averell|William Averell]], ''A Mervalious Combat of Contrarieties'' (1588), quoted in Bertrand T. Whitehead, ''Brags and Boasts: Propaganda in the Year of the Armada'' (1994), pp. 83-84

==B==
*We cannot without damage to our soul's health destroy the roots which bind us to the land and language of our birth. The love of country is a deep and universal instinct, freighted with ancient memories and subtle associations. Men who deny their national spiritual heritage in exchange for a vague and watery [[w:Cosmopolitanism|cosmopolitanism]] become less than men; they starve and dwarf their personalities; they turn into a sort of political eunuch.
**[[Stanley Baldwin]], speech to the [[w:Saint David's Day|St. David's Day]] Banquet in Cardiff (1 March 1927), quoted in ''Our Inheritance'' (1938), p. 50

* '''To be a good patriot, a man must consider his countrymen as God's creatures, and himself as accountable for his acting towards them.'''
**[[Bishop Berkeley]], reported in Josiah Hotchkiss Gilbert, ''Dictionary of Burning Words of Brilliant Writers'' (1895), p. 442

* Patriotism, n. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit it is the first.
** [[Ambrose Bierce]], ''The Devil's Dictionary'' (1911)

*The service of our country is no chimerical, but a real duty. He who admits the proofs of any other moral duty, drawn from the constitution of human nature, or from the moral fitness and unfitness of things, must admit them in favour of this duty, or be reduced to the most absurd inconsistency.
**[[Henry St John, 1st Viscount Bolingbroke|Lord Bolingbroke]], 'On the Spirit of Patriotism' (1736), quoted in ''Letters, on the Spirit of Patriotism: On the Idea of a Patriot King: And On the State of Parties, at the Accession of King George the First'' (1749), pp. 27-28

*Neither [[Michel de Montaigne|Montaigne]] in writing his essays, nor [[René Descartes|DesCartes]] in building new worlds, nor [[Thomas Burnet|Burnet]] in framing an antedeluvian earth, no nor [[Isaac Newton|Newton]] in discovering and establishing the true laws of nature on experiment and a sublimer geometry, felt more intellectual joys; than he feels who is a ''real patriot'', who bends all the force of his understanding, and directs all his thoughts and actions, to the good of his country.
**[[Henry St John, 1st Viscount Bolingbroke|Lord Bolingbroke]], 'On the Spirit of Patriotism' (1736), quoted in ''Letters, on the Spirit of Patriotism: On the Idea of a Patriot King: And On the State of Parties, at the Accession of King George the First'' (1749), p. 31

* If modern youth has realized, as I believe it has, that to live for one's country is a finer type of patriotism than to die for it, then the youth of my generation will not, after all, have laid down the best of its life in vain.
**  [[Vera Brittain]], &quot;Youth and War&quot;, 13 December 1934. Quoted in Paul Berry and Mark Bostridge, ''Vera Brittain: A Life''. Chatto and Windus, 1995. (p. 305)

* The unbought grace of life, the cheap defence of nations, the nurse of manly sentiment and heroic enterprise, is gone!
** [[Edmund Burke]], ''Reflections on the Revolution in France'' (1790), Volume III, p. 331

==C==
* But this I would say, standing as I do in the view of God and Eternity — I realise that '''patriotism is not enough. I must have no bitterness or hatred towards anyone.'''
** [[Edith Cavell]] (October 11, 1915), the evening before her execution by a German firing squad. S. Theodore Felstead, ''Edith Cavell: The Crime That Shook the World'' (London: George Newnes, 1950), pp. 185–6.

* “My country, right or wrong”, is a thing that no patriot would think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying, “My mother, drunk or sober”.
** [[G. K. Chesterton]], ''The Defendant'' (1901), p. 166.

* When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home.
** [[Winston Churchill]], speech, House of Commons (April 18, 1947)

*[W]hen with a rational spirit you have surveyed the whole field, there is no social relation among them all more close, none more dear than that which links each one of us with our country. Parents are dear; dear are children, relatives, friends; but one native land embraces all our loves; and who that is true would hesitate to give his life for her, if by his death he could render her a service? So much the more execrable are those monsters who have torn their fatherland to pieces with every form of outrage and who are and have been engaged in compassing her utter destruction.
**[[Cicero]], ''[[w:De Officiis|De Officiis]]'', 1.57 (44 BC), quoted in ''De officiis. With an English translation by Walter Miller'' (1913), pp. 59, 61

*My education was built up upon ruthlessly hard-and-fast ideas crowned by a patriotism that nothing could shake. In the [[w:War in the Vendée|insurrection of Vendée]], allied with the foreigner against [[w:First French Republic|Revolutionary France]], the two qualities of patriot and republican were so merged in one another that the Ghouans called us ''patauds'', an insult that my forbears were proud of. The fatherland was, and could only be, everybody's home, where energies were developed in common. To renounce one's country had neither sense nor meaning. You might as well have expected the child to want to leave the shelter of its mother's wing. The home, the country, this was no theory; it was a natural phenomenon that had been realized from the very earliest ages of mankind. Animals had a temporary home in their lairs, man a permanent one in his country.
**[[Georges Clemenceau]], ''Grandeur and Misery of Victory'' (1930), p. 341

* The Nation has need of all that can be contributed to it through the best efforts of all its citizens. The colored people have repeatedly proved their devotion to the high ideals of our country. They gave their services in the war with the same [[w:Patriotism|patriotism]] and readiness that other citizens did. The records of the selective draft show that somewhat more than 2,250,000 [[African American|colored men]] were registered. The records further prove that, far from seeking to avoid participation in the national defense, they showed that they wished to enlist before the selective service act was put into operation, and they did not attempt to evade that act afterwards.
**[[Calvin Coolidge]], as quoted in [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt commencement address at Howard University] (6 June 1924), Washington, D.C.

* The [[propaganda]] of [[prejudice]] and hatred which sought to keep the colored men from supporting the national cause completely failed. The [[Black people|black]] man showed himself the same kind of citizen, moved by the same kind of patriotism, as the [[White people|white]] man. They were tempted, but not one betrayed [[United States|his country]]. Among well-nigh 400,000 colored men who were taken into the military service, about one-half had overseas experience. They came home with many decorations and their conduct repeatedly won high commendation from both American and European commanders.
**[[Calvin Coolidge]], as quoted in [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt commencement address at Howard University] (6 June 1924), Washington, D.C.

==D==
* Patriotism is an ephemeral motive that scarcely ever outlasts the particular threat to society that aroused it.
**[[Denis Diderot]], ''Observations on the Drawing Up of Laws'' (written in 1774 for [[Catherine II of Russia|Catherine the Great]]; published 1921)

*Befitting acts are all those which reason prevails with us to do; and this is the case with honouring one's parents, brothers and country, and intercourse with friends. Unbefitting, or contrary to duty, are all acts that reason deprecates, e.g. to neglect one's parents, to be indifferent to one's brothers, not to agree with friends, to disregard the interests of one's country, and so forth.
**[[Diogenes Laërtius]], ''Lives of the Eminent Philosophers'', VII.108, quoted in ''Lives of the Eminent Philosophers, Vol. II'', translated by Robert Drew Hicks (1925; 1995), p. 215

*[T]he principle of patriotism, which is the soul of free communities. 
**[[Benjamin Disraeli]], speech to the annual meeting of the Royal and Central Bucks Agricultural Association in Aylesbury (20 September 1876), quoted in ''The Times'' (21 September 1876), p. 6

*[T]he noblest of human sentiments, now decried by philosophers—the sentiment of patriotism.
**[[Benjamin Disraeli]], speech at the [[w:Guildhall, London|Guildhall, London]] (9 November 1879), quoted in William Flavelle Monypenny and George Earle Buckle, ''The Life of Benjamin Disraeli, Earl of Beaconsfield. Volume II. 1860–1881'' (1929), p. 1367

==E==
* No matter that patriotism is too often the refuge of scoundrels. '''[[Dissent]], [[rebellion]], and all-around hell-raising remain the true duty of patriots.'''
** [[Barbara Ehrenreich]] &quot;Family Values,&quot; The Worst Years of Our Lives: Irreverent Notes from a Decade of Greed (1991).

* '''Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism— how passionately I hate them!'''
**[[Albert Einstein]], ''Ideas and opinions'', p. 10, chapter: &quot;The world as I see it&quot;, translated by Sonja Bargmann from ''Mein Weltbild'' edited by Varl Seeling. Wings Books (New York), {{ISBN|978-0517003930}}.

* '''I am against any [[nationalism]], even in the guise of mere patriotism.''' [[Privilege|Privileges]] based on position and [[property]] have always seemed to me unjust and pernicious, as did any exaggerated personality cult.
** [[Albert Einstein]], ''My Credo'' (1932)

* '''Patriotism means equipped forces and a prepared citizenry. Moral stamina means more energy and more productivity, on the farm and in the factory. Love of [[liberty]] means the guarding of every resource that makes freedom possible—from the sanctity of our families and the wealth of our soil to the genius of our scientists.'''
** [[Dwight D. Eisenhower]], [[s:Dwight Eisenhower's First Inaugural Address|First Inaugural Address (20 January 1953)]]

==F==
* [[United States|America]] now is stumbling through the darkness of hatred and divisiveness. Our values, our principles, and our determination to succeed as a free and democratic people will give us a torch to light the way. And we will survive and become the stronger—not only because of a patriotism that stands for love of country, but a patriotism that stands for love of people.
** [[Gerald R. Ford]], address to the state conference of the Order of DeMolay, Grand Rapids, Michigan (September 7, 1968); in Michael V. Doyle, ed., ''Gerald R. Ford, Selected Speeches'' (1973), p. 77.

* Nationalism is our form of incest, is our idolatry, is our insanity. &quot;Patriotism&quot; is its cult. It should hardly be necessary to say, that by &quot;patriotism&quot; I mean that attitude which puts the own nation above humanity, above the principles of truth and justice; not the loving interest in one's own nation, which is the concern with the nation's spiritual as much as with its material welfare—never with its power over other nations. Just as love for one individual which excludes the love for others is not love, love for one's country which is not part of one's love for humanity is not love, but idolatrous worship.
**[[Erich Fromm]], in [[Erich Fromm#The Sane Society (1955)|''The Sane Society'']] (1955).

* There are two Americas. One is the America of [[Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]] and [[Adlai Stevenson]]; the other is the America of [[Theodore Roosevelt|Teddy Roosevelt]] and the modern superpatriots. One is generous and humane, the other narrowly egotistical; one is self-critical, the other self-righteous; one is sensible, the other romantic; one is good-humored, the other solemn; one is inquiring, the other pontificating; one is moderate, the other filled with passionate intensity; one is judicious and the other arrogant in the use of great power.
**[[J. William Fulbright]], ''The Arrogance of Power'' (1966).

*If you think in terms of people divided up into countries, you won't follow me. The idea of countries is going by the boards. Young people are getting wonderfully uprooted and they're too strong to get sucked into this 'country' crap.
:*[[Buckminster Fuller]], quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=kVMEAAAAMBAJ&amp;pg=PA46 &quot;The View from the Year 2000&quot;] by [[w:Barry Farrell (journalist)|Barry Farrell]] in [[w:Life (magazine)|''LIFE'' magazine]] (26 February 1971)

==G==
*That public virtue, which among the ancients was denominated patriotism, is derived from a strong sense of our own interest, in the preservation and prosperity of the free government of which we are members. Such a sentiment, which had rendered the legions of the republic almost invincible, could make but a very feeble impression on the mercenary servants of a despotic prince; and it became necessary to supply that defect by other motives, of a different, but not less forcible nature; honour and religion.
**[[Edward Gibbon]], ''[[The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire|The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Volume the First]] '' (1776), p. 10

* It should be the work of a genuine and noble patriotism to raise the life of the nation to the level of its privileges; to harmonize its general practice with its abstract principles; to reduce to actual facts the ideals of its institutions; to elevate instruction into knowledge; to deepen knowledge into wisdom; to render knowledge and wisdom complete in righteousness; and to make the love of country perfect in the love of man.
**[[Henry Giles]], reported in Josiah Hotchkiss Gilbert, ''Dictionary of Burning Words of Brilliant Writers'' (1895), p. 442.

*Patriotism ruins history.
** [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]], Conversation with Friedrich Wilhem Riemer (July, 1817).

* [[Conceit]], [[arrogance]], and [[egotism]] are the essentials of patriotism. … Patriotism assumes that our globe is divided into little spots, each one surrounded by an iron gate. Those who have had the fortune of being born on some particular spot, consider themselves better, nobler, grander, more intelligent than the living beings inhabiting any other spot. It is, therefore, the duty of everyone living on that chosen spot to fight, kill, and die in the attempt to impose his superiority upon all the others.
**[[Emma Goldman]], ''Patriotism: a menace to liberty''.

* We Americans claim to be a peace-loving people. We hate bloodshed; we are opposed to [[violence]]. Yet we go into spasms of joy over the possibility of projecting dynamite [[bombs]] from [[Airplane|flying machines]] upon helpless citizens. We are ready to hang, electrocute, or [[Lynching|lynch]] anyone, who, from economic necessity, will risk his own life in the attempt upon that of some [[Business magnate|industrial magnate]]. Yet our hearts swell with pride at the thought that America is becoming the most powerful nation on earth, and that she will eventually plant her iron foot on the necks of all other nations.  Such is the logic of patriotism.
**[[Emma Goldman]], ''What is Patriotism?'' (1908).

* Thinking [[Man|men]] and [[women]] the world over are beginning to realize that patriotism is too narrow and limited a conception to meet the necessities of our time.
** [[Emma Goldman]], ''What is Patriotism?'' (1908).

*When we have undermined the patriotic lie, we shall have cleared the path for the great structure where all shall be united into a universal brotherhood — a truly free society.
**[[Emma Goldman]], ''What is Patriotism?'' (1908).

*[[Leo Tolstoy]] … defines patriotism as the principle that will justify the training of wholesale [[Homicide|murderers]].
**[[Emma Goldman]] in a speech titled ''What is patriotism?'' delivered in 1908.

==H==
* '''I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.'''
** [[Nathan Hale]], last words before being hanged by the British as a spy, (September 22, 1776), according to the account by [[w:William Hull|William Hull]] based on reports by British Captain [[w:John Montresor|John Montresor]] who was present and who spoke to Hull under a flag of truce the next day:
:: ‘On the morning of his execution,’ continued the officer, ‘my station was near the fatal spot, and I requested the Provost Marshal to permit the prisoner to sit in my marquee, while he was making the necessary preparations. Captain Hale entered: he was calm, and bore himself with gentle dignity, in the consciousness of rectitude and high intentions. He asked for writing materials, which I furnished him: he wrote two letters, one to his mother and one to a brother officer.’ He was shortly after summoned to the gallows. But a few persons were around him, yet his characteristic dying words were remembered. He said, ‘I only regret, that I have but one life to lose for my country.’
: Some speculation exists that Hale might have been repeating or paraphrasing lines from [[Joseph Addison]]'s play ''Cato'', Act IV, Scene IV: ''
:: How beautiful is death when earned by virtue. Who would not be that youth? '''What pity is it that we can die but once to serve our country.'''
: See George Dudley Seymour, ''Captain Nathan Hale, Major John Palsgrave Wyllys, A Digressive History'', (1933), p. 39.
: Another early variant of his last words exists, as reported in the ''Independent Chronicle and the Universal Advertiser'' (17 May 1781):
:: '''I am so satisfied with the cause in which I have engaged, that my only regret is, that I have not more lives than one to offer in its service.'''

* The difference between patriotism and nationalism is that the patriot is proud of his country for what it does, and the nationalist is proud of his country no matter what it does; the first attitude creates a feeling of responsibility, but the second a feeling of blind arrogance that leads to war.
** [[Sydney J. Harris]], ''Strictly Personal'' (1953), &quot;Purely Personal Prejudices&quot;.

* The most noble fate a man can endure is to place his own mortal body between his loved home and the war's desolation.
** [[Robert A. Heinlein]], ''[[Starship Troopers]]''.

*'''Gentlemen may cry, Peace, peace! But there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? '''Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!'''
** [[Patrick Henry]], ''Give me liberty or give me death!'' (1775).

* I was over in [[Australia]], and I was asked, 'Are you proud to be an American?' And I was like, 'Um, I don't know, I didn't have a lot to do with it. You know, my parents ''fucked'' there, that's about all. You know, I was in the spirit realm at that time. &quot;Fuck in [[Paris]]! Fuck in Paris!&quot; but they couldn't hear me, cos I didn't have a mouth. I was a spirit without lungs or mouth or vocal cords.' They fucked ''here''. OK, I'm proud. I hate patriotism. I can't stand it, man. Makes me fuckin' sick. It's a round world last time I checked, OK? You know what I mean. I hate patriotism. In fact, that's how we could stop patriotism, I think. Instead of putting stars and stripes on our flags, we should put pictures of our parents fucking.
** [[Bill Hicks]] (1993), live at Laff Stop, Austin, TX. Recording of show included in ''[[w:Rant in E-Minor|Rant in E-Minor]]'' (1997). Transcription in ''[[w:Love All the People: Letters, Lyrics, Routines|Love All the People]]'' (2004).

*''Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori''. 
**It is sweet and honourable to die for one's country.
**[[Horace]], ''[[w:Odes (Horace)|Odes]]'', Book III, ode ii, line 13

* The [[Protestantism|Protestant]] way of reconciling the commandments of [[Christ]] with those human activities that appealed to them was to declare any reconciliation to be impossible. … We must love our enemies. But whether this means burning the heretic and the witch, sending children to work before they can read, making bombs and blessing them, or whether it means the opposite, each believer has to decide for himself without even suspecting what the true will of God might be. A guiding light, though a deceptive one, is provided by the interest of the fatherland, of which there is little mention in the [[Gospel|Gospels]]. In the last few centuries, an incomparably greater number of believers have staked their lives for their country than for the forbidden love of its enemies. The idealists from [[Fichte]] to [[Hegel]] have also taken an active part in this development. In [[Europe]], faith in God has now become faith in one’s own people. The motto, “Right or wrong, my country,” together with the tolerance of other religions with similar views, takes us back into that ancient world from which the primitive Christians had turned away.
** [[Max Horkheimer]], “Theism and Atheism” (1963), in ''Critique of Instrumental Reason'' (1974).

* I have written for all, with a profound love for my own country, but without being engrossed by [[France]] more than by any other nation. In proportion as I advance in life, I grow more simple, and I become more and more [[patriotic]] for humanity.
** [[Victor Hugo]], in a letter To M. Daelli, publisher of the Italian translation of ''[[Les Misérables]]'' (18 October 1862).

==I==
* Patriotism varies, from a noble devotion to a moral lunacy.
**[[William Ralph Inge]], in &quot;Our Present Discontents&quot; (August 1919) in ''Outspoken Essays'' (1919), p. 2.

* Who fears to speak of Ninety-eight?&lt;br&gt;Who blushes at the name?&lt;br&gt;When cowards mock the patriot's fate,&lt;br&gt;Who hangs his head for shame?
** [[John K. Ingram]], ''The Dublin Nation'' (April 1, 1843), Volume II, p. 339.

==J==
* Our [[Union (American Civil War)|Union]]: It must be preserved.
** [[Andrew Jackson]], toast at a Jefferson Day dinner (April 13, 1830). Marquis James, ''Andrew Jackson: Portrait of a President'' (1937), p. 235. The account by James emphasizes the shocked reaction of Jackson's vice president, John C. Calhoun, to this toast, since it was clear he had lost Jackson's support of the Southern cause of nullification. When Calhoun's turn came, his toast was: &quot;The Union, next to our liberty, most dear. May we all remember that it can only be preserved by respecting the rights of the States and by distributing equally the benefits and burdens of the Union&quot; (pp. 235–36). According to Martin Van Buren, ''Autobiography'' (1920, reprinted 1973), vol. 2, p. 415, at the urging of General Hayne, Jackson altered his toast to &quot;Our Federal Union&quot; before it was given to the newspapers, and it was reported in this form in many sources including James Parton, ''Life of Andrew Jackson'' (1860), vol. 3, p. 283, and Thomas Hart Benton, ''Thirty Years View'' (1854, reprinted 1883), vol. 1, p. 148.

*I'm no second-class citizen either and no man here is, unless he thinks like one and reasons like one and performs like one. This is my country and I believe in her, and I will serve her, and I'll contribute to her welfare whenever and however I can. If she has any ills, I'll stand by her until in God's given time, through her wisdom and her consideration for the welfare of the entire nation, she will put them right.
**[[Daniel James Jr.]], as quoted in ''The Right to Fight: A History of African Americans in The Military'' (1998), by Gerald Astor, De Capo Press, pp. 440–443

*The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure.'''
** [[Thomas Jefferson]][http://odur.let.rug.nl/~usa/P/tj3/writings/brf/jefl64.htm Letter] to [[w:William Stephens Smith|William Stephens Smith]] (13 November 1787), quoted in Padover's ''Jefferson On Democracy''.

* Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
**[[Samuel Johnson]], statement (7 April 1775), as quoted in ''[[w:The Life of Samuel Johnson|Life of Samuel Johnson]]'' (1791) by [[w:James Boswell|James Boswell]], p. 253; Boswell's full mention of this statement reads:
:: Patriotism having become one of our topicks, Johnson suddenly uttered, in a strong determined tone, an apophthegm, at which many will start: &quot;Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.&quot; But let it be considered, that he did not mean a real and generous love of our country, but that pretended patriotism which so many, in all ages and countries, have made a cloak of self-interest.

==K==
* I never felt so near the glory of Patriotism, the glory of making by any means a country happier.
** [[John Keats]] (July 1, 1818) in a letter to Thomas Keats (June 29 - July 2, 1818). ''Letters of John Keats to His Family and Friends'', edited by [[w:Sidney Colvin|Sidney Colvin]] (London: Macmillan, 1891), p. 117.
** Usually quoted in the form &quot;Patriotism is the glory of making by any means a country happier,&quot; e.g. by [[w:Elizabeth Goudge|Elizabeth Goudge]] in ''The Castle on the Hill'' (1942), chapters VI.i and XIV.ii.

* '''Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty.'''
** [[John F. Kennedy]], Inaugural Address, (20 January 1961).

* '''And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you — ask what you can do for your country.&lt;br&gt;My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.'''
** [[John F. Kennedy]], Inaugural Address, (20 January 1961).

*Patriotism, not nationalism, should inspire the citizen. The ethnic nationalist who wants a linguistically and culturally uniform nation is akin to the racist who is intolerant toward those who look (and behave) differently. The patriot is a &quot;diversitarian&quot;; he is pleased, indeed proud of the variety within the borders of his country; he looks for loyalty from all citizens. And he looks up and down, not left and right.
**[[Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn]], ''Leftism Revisited'' (1990), p. 327

==L==
* All should unite in honest efforts to obliterate the effects of war, and to restore the blessings of peace. They should remain, if possible, in the country; promote harmony and good feeling; qualify themselves to vote; and elect to the State and general [[Legislature|Legislatures]] wise and patriotic men, who will devote their abilities to the interests of the country, and the healing of all dissensions. I have invariably recommended this course since the cessation of hostilities, and have endeavored to practice it myself.
**[[Robert E. Lee]], in a letter to former Virginia governor [[w:John Letcher|John Letcher]] (28 August 1865), as quoted in ''Personal Reminiscences, Anecdotes, and Letters of Gen. Robert E. Lee'' (1875) by John William Jones, p. 203.

* True patriotism sometimes requires of men to act exactly contrary, at one period, to that which it does at another, and the motive which impels them — the desire to do right — is precisely the same.
**[[Robert E. Lee]], in a letter to General [[w:P. G. T. Beauregard|P. G. T. Beauregard]] (3 October 1865).

==M==
* '''[[Faith]] and patriotism are the two great thaumaturges of this world.''' Both are divine; all their actions are prodigies. Do not go to them talking of examination, choice, or discussion; they will say that you blaspheme. They know only two words: ''submission'' and ''belief;'' with these two levers they raise the world. Even their errors are [[Sublime (philosophy)|sublime]]. These two children of [[Heaven]] prove their origin to all eyes by creating and conserving; but if they unite, join their forces, and together take possession of a nation, they exalt it, they divinize it, and they increase its forces a hundred-fold.
** [[Joseph de Maistre]], ''Against Rousseau'' (1795), p. 88

* In uniform patriotism can salute one flag only, embrace but the first circle of life—one's own land and tribe. In war that is necessary, in peace it is not enough.
**[[Bill Moyers]], &quot;At Large&quot;, speech at the Peace Corps twenty-fifth anniversary memorial service (21 September 1986), published in ''Moyers on Democracy'' (2008), p. 26.

==N==
* I have no patriotism, for patriotism, as I see it, is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles.
** [[George Jean Nathan]], ''Testament of a Critic'' (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1931), p. 16.

==O==
* By 'nationalism'... I mean the habit of identifying oneself with a single nation or other unit, placing it beyond good and evil and recognising no other duty than that of advancing its interests. Nationalism is not to be confused with patriotism. Both words are normally used in so vague a way that any definition is liable to be challenged, but one must draw a distinction between them, since two different and even opposing ideas are involved. 
**[[George Orwell]], ''Essay: Notes on Nationalism'' (1945).

*By 'patriotism' I mean devotion to a particular place and a particular way of life, which one believes to be the best in the world but has no wish to force on other people. Patriotism is of its nature defensive, both militarily and culturally. Nationalism, on the other hand, is inseparable from the desire for power. The abiding purpose of every nationalist is to secure more power and more prestige, not for himself but for the nation or other unit in which he has chosen to sink his own individuality.
**[[George Orwell]], ''Essay: Notes on Nationalism'' (1945).

* No one is patriotic about [[Taxation|taxes]].
** [[George Orwell]], [http://orwelldiaries.wordpress.com/2010/08/09/9-8-40/ ''Orwell Diaries 1938-1942'', (9 August 1940)].

==P==
*'''THESE are the [[times]] that try men's [[souls]]. The [[summer]] soldier and the sunshine [[patriot]] will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their [[country]]; but he that stands it now, deserves the [[love]] and thanks of man and woman
**[[Thomas Paine]], ''The American Crisis'' (1776 - 1783)

*I would sooner receive injustice in the [[Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom|Queen]]'s courts than justice in a foreign court. I hold that man or woman to be a scoundrel who goes abroad to a foreign court to have the judgments of the Queen's courts overturned, the actions of her Government countermanded or the legislation of [[Parliament of the United Kingdom|Parliament]] struck down.
**[[Enoch Powell]], Speech in Ilford (13 March 1982), from Simon Heffer, ''Like the Roman. The Life of Enoch Powell'' (Phoenix, 1999), p. 853.

==R==
* National pride is to countries what self-respect is to individuals: a necessary condition for self-improvement.
**[[Richard Rorty]] - ''[[w:Achieving Our Country|Achieving Our Country]]: Leftist Thought in Twentieth Century America''. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1998
&lt;!--* It is right to prefer our own country to all others, because we are children and citizens before we can be travellers or philosophers. … It is no accident for the soul to be embodied; her very essence is to express and bring to fruition the body's functions and resources. Its instincts make her ideals and its relations her world. A native country is a sort of second body, another enveloping organism to give the will definition. A specific inheritance strengthens the soul.//not in Santayana 1905 chapter 7--&gt;

* [Patriotism is the] willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.
** [[Bertrand Russell]], ''Sceptical Essays'' (1928), Ch. 13: Freedom in Society.

* Patriots always talk of dying for their country, and never of killing for their country.
** [[Bertrand Russell]], ''Has Man a Future?'' (1962).

==S==
* A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world.
** [[George Santayana]], {{w|The Life of Reason}} (1905) Chapter VII: Patriotism.

* To me, it seems a dreadful indignity to have a soul controlled by geography.
** [[George Santayana]], letter (16 August 1914) to Mary Williams Winslow. ''The Letters of George Santayana, Book Two 1910–1920'', edited by William G. Holzberger (Cambridge, MA: The MIT Press, 2001), p. 192.

*Patriotism, when it wants to make itself felt in the domain of learning, is a dirty fellow who should be thrown out of doors.
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], ''Parerga and Paralipomena'' (1851) '' Counsels and Maxims'' Vol. 2, Ch. 21, § 255.

* The cheapest sort of pride is national pride; for if a man is proud of his own nation, it argues that he has no qualities of his own of which he can be proud; otherwise he would not have recourse to those which he shares with so many millions of his fellowmen. The man who is endowed with important personal qualities will be only too ready to see clearly in what respects his own nation falls short, since their failings will be constantly before his eyes. But every miserable fool who has nothing at all of which he can be proud adopts, as a last resource, pride in the nation to which he belongs; he is ready and glad to defend all its faults and follies tooth and nail, thus reimbursing himself for his own inferiority.
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], ''The Wisdom of Life'', translated by Thomas Bailey Saunders, Chapter IV, Section 2. Pride

*Patriotism is an extension of the natural love of home... The term suggests that the sentiment is conceived on the model of love from child to parent, presumably because it is held to be a kind of piety, not reducible to any rescindable agreement or acquired affection. That would not make patriotism irrational, any more than love of parents is irrational, but it would do something to explain why the patriot himself may be able to give no reasoned basis for his emotion.
**[[Roger Scruton]], ''A Dictionary of Political Thought'' (1982; 2nd ed., 1996), p. 409

* No one loves his country for its size or eminence, but because it is his own.
** [[Seneca the Younger]], ''Letters to Lucilius'' (1st Century), translated by E. Phillips Barker (Oxford: The Clarendon Press, 1932), p. 221.

* Patriotism is, fundamentally, a conviction that a particular country is the best in the world because you were born in it.
** [[George Bernard Shaw]] in ''The World'' (15 November 1893). Cited in ''Not Bloody Likely!: And Other Quotations from Bernard Shaw'' (1996), [http://books.google.com/books?id=kHGW4_M89aMC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA142#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 142]

* That is a true sentiment which makes us feel that we do not love our country less, but more, because we have laid up in our minds the knowledge of other lands and other institutions and other races, and have had enkindled afresh within us the instinct of a common humanity, and of the universal beneficence of the Creator.
**[[Arthur Penrhyn Stanley]], reported in Josiah Hotchkiss Gilbert, ''Dictionary of Burning Words of Brilliant Writers'' (1895), p. 442.

* What do we mean by patriotism in the context of our times? … A patriotism that puts country ahead of self; a patriotism which is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.
**[[Adlai Stevenson]], speech in New York City (27 August 1952), quoted in ''Bartlett's Familiar Quotations'' (1955), Boston: Little, Brown and Co., p. 986.

==T==
* '''Patriotism … for rulers is nothing else than a tool for achieving their power-hungry and money-hungry goals, and for the ruled it means renouncing their human dignity, reason, conscience, and slavish submission to those in power. … Patriotism is [[slavery]].'''
**[[Leo Tolstoy]], ''[https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Patriotism_and_Christianity Patriotism and Christianity]'' (1894).

* Those attacks upon language and religion in [[Poland]], the Baltic provinces, Alsace, Bohemia, upon the [[Judaism|Jews]] in Russia, in every place that such acts of violence occur—in what name have they been, and are they, perpetrated? In none other than the name of that patriotism which you defend.&lt;br /&gt; Ask our savage Russifiers of Poland and the Baltic provinces, ask the persecutors of the Jews, why they act thus. They will tell you it is in defence of their native religion and language; they will tell you that if they do not act thus, their religion and language will suffer—the Russians will be Polonised, Teutonised, Judaised.
** [[Leo Tolstoy]], ''Patriotism and Christianity'', [http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Patriotism_and_Christianity/A_Reply_to_Criticisms A Reply to Criticisms]''.

* If patriotism is good, then [[Christianity]], which gives [[peace]], is an idle dream, and the sooner this teaching is eradicated, the better. But if Christianity really gives peace, and if we really want peace, then patriotism is a leftover from barbarous times, which must not only not be evoked and taught, as we now do, but which must be eradicated by all means of preaching, persuasion, contempt, and ridicule. If Christianity is the truth, and if we wish to live in peace, then we must not only have no sympathy for the power of our country, but must even rejoice in its weakening and contribute to it.
**[[Leo Tolstoy]], ''[http://www.nonresistance.org/docs_pdf/Tolstoy/Patriotism_or_Peace.pdf? Patriotism or Peace]''.

* I have already several times expressed the thought that in our day the feeling of patriotism is an unnatural, irrational, and harmful feeling, and a cause of a great part of the ills from which mankind is suffering, and that, consequently, this feeling – should not be cultivated, as is now being done, but should, on the contrary, be suppressed and eradicated by all means available to rational men. Yet, strange to say – though it is undeniable that the universal armaments and destructive wars which are ruining the peoples result from that one feeling – '''all my arguments showing the backwardness, anachronism, and harmfulness of patriotism have been met''', and are still met, either by silence, by intentional misinterpretation, or '''by a strange unvarying reply to the effect that only bad patriotism (Jingoism or Chauvinism) is evil, but that real good patriotism is a very elevated moral feeling, to condemn which is not only irrational but wicked.'''&lt;br /&gt;'''What this real, good patriotism consists in, we are never told; or, if anything is said about it, instead of explanation we get declamatory, inflated phrases, or, finally, some other conception is substituted for patriotism – something which has nothing in common with the patriotism we all know, and from the results of which we all suffer so severely.'''
**[[Leo Tolstoy]], ''[http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Patriotism_and_Government Patriotism and Government]''.

* It will be said, &quot;Patriotism has welded mankind into states, and maintains the unity of states.&quot; But men are now united in states; that work is done; why now maintain exclusive devotion to one's own state, when this produces terrible evils for all states and nations? For this same patriotism which welded mankind into states is now destroying those same states. If there were but one patriotism say of the English only then it were possible to regard that as conciliatory, or beneficent. But when, as now, there is American patriotism, English, German, French, Russian, all opposed to one another, in this event, patriotism no longer unites, but disunites.
**[[Leo Tolstoy]], ''[http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Patriotism_and_Government Patriotism and Government]''.
*At the bedrock of [[Politics of the United States|our politics]] will be a total allegiance to the [[United States|United States of America]], and through our loyalty to our country, we will rediscover our loyalty to each other. '''When you open your heart to patriotism, there is no room for prejudice.''' The [[The Bible|Bible]] tells us, &quot;How good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity.&quot; We must speak our minds openly, debate our disagreements honestly, but always pursue solidarity. When America is united, America is totally unstoppable. There should be no fear: We are protected, and we will always be protected. We will be protected by the great men and women of our [[United States Armed Forces|military]] and [[Law enforcement in the United States|law enforcement]], and most importantly, we will be protected by God.
**[[Donald Trump]], [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/inaugural-address-14 Inaugural Address], (20 January 2017) 
*If this organization is to have any hope of successfully confronting the challenges before us, it will depend, as [[Harry S. Truman|President Truman]] said some 70 years ago, on the &quot;independent strength of its members.&quot; If we are to embrace the opportunities of the future and overcome the present dangers together, there can be no substitute for strong, sovereign, and independent nations: nations that are rooted in their histories and invested in their destinies; nations that seek allies to befriend, not enemies to conquer; and most important of all, nations that are home to patriots, to men and women who are willing to sacrifice for their countries, their fellow citizens, and for all that is best in the human spirit. In remembering the great victory that led to this body's founding, we must never forget that those heroes who fought against evil also fought for the nations that they loved. Patriotism led the Poles to die to save [[Poland]], the French to fight for a free [[France]], and the Brits to stand strong for [[United Kingdom|Britain]]. Today, if we do not invest ourselves, our hearts, and our minds in our nations, if we will not build strong families, safe communities, and healthy societies for ourselves, no one can do it for us. We cannot wait for someone else, for faraway countries or far-off [[Bureaucracy|bureaucrats]]—we can't do it. We must solve our problems, to build our prosperity, to secure our futures, or we will build vulnerable to decay, domination, and defeat. The true question for the [[United Nations]] today, for people all over the world who hope for better lives for themselves and their children, is a basic one: Are we still patriots? Do we love our nations enough to protect their sovereignty and to take ownership of their futures? Do we revere them enough to defend their interests, preserve their cultures, and ensure a peaceful world for their citizens?
**[[Donald Trump]], [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/remarks-the-united-nations-general-assembly-new-york-city-13 Remarks to the United Nations General Assembly in New York City], (12 September 2017) 
*America is governed by Americans. We reject the ideology of globalism, and we embrace the doctrine of patriotism. Around the world, responsible nations must defend against threats to sovereignty not just from global governance, but also from other, new forms of coercion and domination.
**[[Donald Trump]], [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/remarks-the-united-nations-general-assembly-new-york-city-14 Remarks to the United Nations General Assembly in New York City], (25 September 2018) 
*Like my beloved country, each nation represented in this hall has a cherished history, culture, and heritage that is worth defending and celebrating and which gives us our singular potential and strength. The free world must embrace its national foundations. It must not attempt to erase them or replace them. Looking around and all over this large, magnificent planet, the truth is plain to see: If you want freedom, take pride in your country. If you want democracy, hold on to your sovereignty. And if you want peace, love your nation. Wise leaders always put the good of their own people and their own country first. '''The future does not belong to globalists. The future belongs to patriots.''' The future belongs to sovereign and independent nations who protect their citizens, respect their neighbors, and honor the differences that make each country special and unique.
**[[Donald Trump]], [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/remarks-the-united-nations-general-assembly-new-york-city-15 Remarks to the United Nations General Assembly in New York City], (24 September 2019)

* '''The modern patriotism, the true patriotism, the only rational patriotism is loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.'''
** [[Mark Twain]], in the essay &quot;The Czar's Soliloquy&quot;, ''The North American Review'', No. DLXXX (March 1905), p. 324.
** Often misquoted as &quot;Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.&quot;

* In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.  
** [[Mark Twain]], in ''Mark Twain's Notebook'', edited by [[w:Albert Paine|Albert Bigelow Paine]] (New York: Harper &amp; Brothers, 1935), p. 394.

*'''The soul and substance of what customarily ranks as patriotism is moral cowardice — and always has been.'''
** [[Mark Twain]], in ''Mark Twain's Notebook'', edited by [[w:Albert Paine|Albert Bigelow Paine]] (New York: Harper &amp; Brothers, 1935), p. 394.

* Patriotism always exists in the greatest degree in rude nations, and in an early period of society.
:* [[Alexander Fraser Tytler]], ''Universal History''. Vol. 1, Jordan and Wiley, 1847, [https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=ujM-AAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA221 p. 221]

==W==
[[File:GeorgeWashington.jpg|thumb|Citizens by birth or choice, of a common country, that country has a right to concentrate your affections. The name of American, which belongs to you, in your national capacity, must always exalt the just pride of Patriotism, more than any appellation derived from local discriminations. ~ [[George Washington]]]]
* Gentlemen have talked a great deal of patriotism. A venerable word, when duly practised. But I am sorry to say that of late it has been so much hackneyed about that it is in danger of falling into disgrace. The very idea of true patriotism is lost, and the term has been prostituted to the very worst of purposes.
** [[Robert Walpole]], [https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Speech_Against_his_Removal_from_Office Speech Against his Removal from Office given to the House of Commons] (1741).

* Citizens by birth or choice, of a common country, that country has a right to concentrate your affections. The name of AMERICAN, which belongs to you, in your national capacity, must always exalt the just pride of Patriotism, more than any appellation derived from local discriminations.
** [[George Washington]], farewell address (September 19, 1796); in John C. Fitzpatrick, ed., ''The Writings of George Washington'' (1940), vol. 35, p. 219–20.

* Our patriotism comes straight from the Romans. This is why [[France|French]] children are encouraged to seek inspiration for it in Corneille. It is a pagan virtue, if these two words are compatible. The word pagan, when applied to Rome, really possesses the significance charged with horror which the early Christian controversialists gave it. The Romans really were an atheistic and idolatrous people; not idolatrous with regard to images made of stone or bronze, but idolatrous with regard to themselves. It is this idolatry of self which they have bequeathed to us in the form of patriotism.
** [[Simone Weil]], ''[[w:The Need for Roots|The Need for Roots]]''.

* &quot;Every national border in Europe,&quot; El Eswad added ironically, &quot;marks the place where two gangs of bandits got too exhausted to kill each other anymore and signed a treaty. Patriotism is the delusion that one of these gangs of bandits is better than all the others.&quot;
** [[Robert Anton Wilson]], ''The Earth Will Shake: The History of the Early Illuminati'' (The Historical Illuminatus Chronicles Vol. 1) (1982).

*'''[[Liberty]] has never come from the government. Liberty has always come from the subjects of the government. The history of liberty is a history of resistance. The history of liberty is a history of the limitation of governmental [[power]], not the increase of it.'''
** [[Woodrow Wilson]], Speech at New York Press Club (9 September 1912), in The papers of Woodrow Wilson, 25:124.

*Patriotism is the vice of nations.
**[[Oscar Wilde]], Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young (1894).

*Patriotism is love and defense of one's own country, ordinarily considered a high virtue. The national flag is a sacred symbol; hearts quicken at the sound of martial bands. Celebrated in language, music, and the visual arts, patriotism leads us to some of our greatest acts of heroism. It gives us national holidays and justifies the purest kind of sacrifice. Patriotism can look fine and glamorous—at least in the abstract. Stripped of its ape essence, patriotism is male defense of the community, gloried among humans and surely enjoyed among [[chimpanzees]] and [[w:Bonobo|bonobos]]. For all the [[w:Cultural determinism|cultural determinists]]' efforts to persuade us that it's an arbitrary choice, patriotism seems such a fundamental aspect of being human that one can hardly imagine how things might be different.
**[[w:Richard Wrangham|Richard Wrangham]] and [[w:Dale Peterson|Dale Peterson]], ''[[w:Demonic Males|Demonic Males: Apes and the Origins of Human Violence]]'' (1996), p. 231

==Y==
*What is patriotism but love of the good things we ate in our childhood?
**[[Lin Yutang]], ''The Importance of Living'' (1937) Ch. IV : On Having A Stomach

==Z==
*'''If patriotism were defined, not as blind obedience to government, nor as submissive worship to flags and anthems, but rather as love of one's country, one's fellow citizens (all over the world), as loyalty to the principles of justice and democracy, then patriotism would require us to disobey our government, when it violated those principles.'''
** [[Howard Zinn]], ''Declarations of Independence: Cross-Examining American Ideology'' (1991).

==''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations''==
:&lt;small&gt;Quotes reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 584-87.&lt;/small&gt;

* The die was now cast; I had passed the Rubicon. Swim or sink, live or die, survive or perish with my country was my unalterable determination.
** [[John Adams]], ''Works'', Volume IV, p. 8. In a conversation with Jonathan Sewell (1774). (Peele in Edward I [1584?] used the phrase &quot;Live or die, sink or swim.&quot;).

* Our ships were British oak,&lt;br&gt;And hearts of oak our men.
** [[S. J. Arnold]], ''Death of Nelson''.

* From distant climes, o'er wide-spread seas we come,&lt;br&gt;Though not with much éclat or beat of drum;&lt;br&gt;True patriots all; for be it understood&lt;br&gt;We left our country for our country's good.&lt;br&gt;No private views disgraced our generous zeal,&lt;br&gt;What urged our travels was our country's weal.
** [[George Barrington]], prologue for the Opening of the Playhouse at Sydney, New South Wales, Jan. 16, 1796. Dr. Young's Revenge was played by convicts.

* Be Briton still to Britain true,&lt;br&gt;  Among oursel's united;&lt;br&gt;For never but by British hands&lt;br&gt;  Maun British wrangs be righted.
** [[Robert Burns]], ''Dumfries Volunteers''.

* Again to the battle, Achaians!&lt;br&gt;Our hearts bid the tyrants defiance!&lt;br&gt;Our land, the first garden of liberty's tree—&lt;br&gt;It has been, and shall yet be, the land of the free.
** [[Thomas Campbell]], ''Song of the Greeks''.

* God save our gracious king,&lt;br&gt;Long live our noble king,&lt;br&gt;  God save the king.
** [[Henry Carey]], ''God Save the King''.

* I realize that patriotism is not enough. I must have no hatred toward any one.
** [[Edith Cavell]]. Quoted by the Newspapers as her last words before she was shot to death by the Germans in Brussels, Oct. 12, 1915.

* &quot;My country, right or wrong,&quot; is a thing that no patriot would think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying, &quot;My mother, drunk or sober.&quot;
** [[G. K. Chesterton]], ''The Defendant''.

* We join ourselves to no party that does not carry the flag and I keep step to the music of the Union.
** [[Rufus Choate]], Letter to a Worcester Whig Convention. Oct. 1, 1855.

* ''Patria est communis omnium parens.''
** Our country is the common parent of all.
** [[Cicero]], Orationes in Catilinam. I. 7.

* I have heard something said about allegiance to the South: I know no South, no North, no East, no West, to which I owe any allegiance.
** [[Henry Clay]], in the U.S. Senate. (1848).

* I hope to find my country in the right: however I will stand by her, right or wrong.
** [[John J. Crittenden]], in Congress, when President Polk sent a message after the defeat of the Mexican General Arista by General Taylor. May, 1846.

* Our country! In her intercourse with foreign nations, may she always be in the right; but our country, right or wrong.
** [[Stephen Decatur]], toast given at Norfolk, April, 1816. See Mackenzie's Life of Stephen Decatur, Chapter XIV.

* I wish I was in de land ob cotton,&lt;br&gt;Ole times dar am not forgotten,&lt;br&gt;  Look-a-way! Look-a-way! Look-a-way, Dixie Land!&lt;br&gt;    *    *    *    *    *&lt;br&gt;Den I wish I was in Dixie, Hooray! Hooray!&lt;br&gt;  In Dixie Land I'll take my stand&lt;br&gt;To lib and die in Dixie.
** [[Daniel D. Emmett]], ''Dixie Land''. See account in Century, Aug., 1887. A Southern version was written by Albert Pike.

* 'Twas for the good of my country that I should be abroad. Anything for the good of one's country—I'm a Roman for that.
** [[George Farquhar]], ''The Beaux' Stratagem'', Act III, scene 2, line 89.

* ''Liberté, égalité, fraternité.''
** Liberty, equality, fraternity.
** Watchword of French Revolution.

* And bold and hard adventures t' undertake,&lt;br&gt;Leaving his country for his country's sake.
** [[Charles Fitzgeffrey]], ''Life and Death of Sir Francis Drake'' (1600), Stanza 213.

* Our country is the world—our countrymen are all mankind.
** [[William Lloyd Garrison]], ''Motto of the Liberator'', 1837–1839. &quot;My country&quot; originally—later changed to &quot;Our country&quot;.

* Such is the patriot's boast, where'er we roam,&lt;br&gt;His first best country ever is at home.
** [[Oliver Goldsmith]], ''The Traveler'', line 73.

* Strike—for your altars and your fires;&lt;br&gt;Strike—for the green graves of your sires;&lt;br&gt;    God—and your native land!
** [[Fitz-Greene Halleck]], ''Marco Bozzaris''.

* And have they fixed the where, and when?&lt;br&gt; And shall Trelawny die?&lt;br&gt;Here's thirty thousand Cornish men&lt;br&gt; Will know the reason why!
** [[Robert Stephen Hawker]], ''Song of the Western Men''. Mr. Hawker asserts that he wrote the ballad in 1825, all save the chorus and the last two lines, which since the imprisonment by James II, 1688, of the seven Bishops, have been popular throughout Cornwall. (Trelawny was Bishop of Bristol.) First appearance in the Royal Devonport Telegram and Plymouth Chronicle, Sept. 2, 1826. Story of the ballad in Macaulay's History of England. Footnote for Hawker.

* He serves his party best who serves the country best.
** [[Rutherford B. Hayes]], Inaugural Address (March 5, 1877).

* I am not a Virginian but an American.
** [[Patrick Henry]], in the Continental Congress (Sept. 5, 1774).

* One flag, one land, one heart, one hand,&lt;br&gt;One Nation evermore!
** [[Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.]], ''Voyage of the Good Ship Union'', ''Poems of the Class of '29''.

* He serves me most who serves his country best.
** [[Homer]], ''The Iliad'', Book X, line 206. Pope's translation.

* And for our country 'tis a bliss to die.
** [[Homer]], ''The Iliad'', Book XV, line 583. Pope's translation.

* That man is little to be envied, whose patriotism would not gain force upon the plain of Marathon, or whose piety would not grow warmer among the ruins of Iona.
** [[Samuel Johnson]], ''A Journey to the Western Islands'', ''Inch Kenneth''.

* ''Pater patriæ.''
** Father of his country.
** [[Juvenal]], ''Satire VIII'', 244. Title bestowed on Cicero (B.C. 64) after his consulship, &quot;a mark of distinction which none ever gained before.&quot; Plutarch—Life of Cicero. Pliny, Book VII, calls Cicero &quot;Parens patriæ.&quot; Title conferred on Peter the Great by the Russian Senate. (1721). See Post-Boy, Dec. 28–30, 1721. Also applied to Augustus Cæsar and Marius.

* ''Je meurs content, je meurs pour la liberté de mon pays.''
** I die content, I die for the liberty of my country.
** Attributed to Le Pelletier, also to Marshal Lannes.

* The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.
** [[Abraham Lincoln]], ''Inaugural Address'' (March 4, 1861).

* Is it an offence, is it a mistake, is it a crime to take a hopeful view of the prospects of your own country? Why should it be? Why should patriotism and pessimism be identical? Hope is the mainspring of patriotism.
** [[D. Lloyd George]], in the House of Commons (Oct. 30, 1919).

* And how can man die better&lt;br&gt;  Than facing fearful odds,&lt;br&gt;For the ashes of his fathers&lt;br&gt;  And the temples of his gods?
** [[Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1st Baron Macaulay]], ''Horatius keeps the Bridge''.

* 'Twere sweet to sink in death for Truth and Freedom!&lt;br&gt;Yes, who would hesitate, for who could bear&lt;br&gt;The living degradation we may know&lt;br&gt;If we do dread death for a sacred cause?
** [[Terence McSwiney]], lines written when a boy. In the ''Nation'' (Nov. 3, 1920).

* Our spirit is … to show ourselves eager to work for, and if need be, to die for the Irish Republic. Facing our enemy we must declare an attitude simply…. We ask for no mercy and we will make no compromise.
** [[Terence McSwiney]], Lord Mayor of Cork. From a document in his possession when he was sentenced, in August, 1920.

* ''Vox diversa sonat: populorum est vox tamen una,&lt;br&gt;Cum verus PATRIÆ diceris esse PATER.''
** There are many different voices and languages; but there is but one voice of the peoples when you are declared to be the true &quot;Father of your country.&quot;
** [[Martial]], ''De Spectaculis'', III. 11.

* We, that would be known&lt;br&gt;The father of our people, in our study&lt;br&gt;And vigilance for their safety, must, not change&lt;br&gt;Their ploughshares into swords, and force them from&lt;br&gt;The secure shade of their own vines, to be&lt;br&gt;Scorched with the flames of war.
** [[Philip Massinger]], ''The Maid of Honour'', Act I. 1.

* ''Nescio qua natale solum dulcedine captos&lt;br&gt;Ducit, et immemores non sinit esse sui.''
** Our native land charms us with inexpressible sweetness, and never allows us to forget that we belong to it.
** [[Ovid]], ''Epistolæ Ex Ponto'', I. 3. 35.

* ''Omne solum forti patria est.''
** The whole earth is the brave man's country.
** [[Ovid]], ''Fasti'', I. 501.

* ''Patria est, ubicunque est bene.''
** Our country is wherever we are well off.
** [[Pacuvius]], quoted by [[Cicero]], ''Tusculan''. Disputations. V. 37. Aristophanes. Plautus. [[Euripides]], Fragmenta Incerta. Phipiskus—Dion Cassius. I. 171.

* My country is the world, and my religion is to do good.
** [[Thomas Paine]], ''Rights of Man'', Chapter V.

* They know no country, own no lord,&lt;br&gt;Their home the camp, their law the sword.
** Free rendering of passage in Silvio Pellico's ''Enfernio de Messina'', Act V, scene 2.

* Millions for defence, but not one cent for tribute.
** Attributed to [[Charles C. Pinckney]] when Ambassador to the French Republic (1796). Denied by him. Said to have been &quot;Not a penny—not a sixpence.&quot; Attributed also to Robert Goodloe Harper, of South Carolina. &quot;I have ten thousand for defense, but none to surrender; if you want our weapons, come and get them.&quot; The response of an ancient General.

* If I were an American, as I am on Englishman, while a foreign troop was landed in my country I never would lay down my arms, never! never! never!
** [[William Pitt]] (Earl of Chatham), speech (Nov. 18, 1777).

* Socrates said he was not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world.
** [[Plutarch]], ''On Banishment''.

* ''Patria est ubicumque vir fortis sedem elegerit.''
** A brave man's country is wherever he chooses his abode.
** [[Quintus Curtius Rufus]], ''De Rebus Gestis Alexandri Magni'', VI, 4, 13.

*&quot;'''patriotism''',&quot; i.e., a willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.
** [[Bertrand Russell]], ''Sceptical Essays'' (1928) Ch. 13: Freedom in Society.

*Patriots always talk of dying for their country, and never of killing for their country.
** [[Bertrand Russell]], ''Has Man a Future?'' (1962), p. 78.

* Our country, right or wrong! When right, to be kept right; when wrong, to be put right!
** [[Carl Schurz]], speech in U.S. Senate (1872).

* The truth is plain to see - if you want freedom, take pride in your country; if you want democracy, hold onto your sovereignty, and if you want peace, love your nation. Wise leaders always put the good of their own people and their own country first. The future does not belong to globalists. The future belongs to patriots. The future belongs to sovereign and independent nations who protect their citizens, respect their neighbors, and honor the differences that make each country special and unique.
** [[Donald Trump]], [https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefings-statements/remarks-president-trump-74th-session-united-nations-general-assembly/ Address at the 74th Session of the UN General Assembly]

* America is governed by Americans. We reject the ideology of globalism and we embrace the doctrine of patriotism.
** [[Donald Trump]], [https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefings-statements/remarks-president-trump-74th-session-united-nations-general-assembly/ Address at the 74th Session of the UN General Assembly]

* Where's the coward that would not dare&lt;br&gt;To fight for such a land?
** [[Walter Scott]], ''Marmion'' (1808), Canto IV, Stanza 30.

* ''Servare cives, major est virtus patriæ patri.''
** To preserve the life of citizens, is the greatest virtue in the father of his country.
** [[Seneca the Younger]], ''Octavia'', 444.

* Had I a dozen sons,—each in my love alike,  *  *  *  I had rather have eleven die nobly for their country, than one voluptuously surfeit out of action.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Coriolanus]]'' (c. 1607-08), Act I, scene 3, line 24.

* I do love&lt;br&gt;My country's good with a respect more tender,&lt;br&gt;More holy and profound, than mine own life.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Coriolanus]]'' (c. 1607-08), Act III, scene 3, line 111.

* Where liberty is, there is my country.
** [[Algernon Sidney]]'s motto.

* He held it safer to be of the religion of the King or Queen that were in being, for he knew that he came raw into the world, and accounted it no point of wisdom to be broiled out of it.
** [[John Taylor]], ''The Old, Old, Very Old Man''. (Parr).

* A saviour of the silver-coasted isle.
** [[Alfred Tennyson]], ''Ode on Death of Duke of Wellington'', Part VI.

* Put none but Americans on guard tonight.
** Attributed to [[George Washington]]. The only basis for this order seems to be found in Washington's circular letter to regimental commanders, dated April 30, 1777, regarding recruits for his body guard. &quot;You will therefore send me none but natives.&quot; A few months before, Thomas Hickey, a deserter from the British army, had tried to poison Washington, had been convicted and hanged.

* Hands across the sea,&lt;br&gt; Feet on English ground,&lt;br&gt;The old blood is bold blood, the wide world round.
** [[Byron Webber]], ''Hands Across the Sea''.

* Let our object be, our country, our whole country, and nothing but our country.
** [[Daniel Webster]], address at the Laying of the Corner-Stone of the Bunker Hill Monument (June 17, 1825).

* Thank God, I—I also—am an American!
** [[Daniel Webster]], ''Completion of Bunker Hill Monument'' (June 17, 1843).

* Sink or swim, live or die, survive or perish, I give my hand and heart to this vote.
** [[Daniel Webster]], ''Eulogy on Adams and Jefferson''.

* I was born an American; I live an American; I shall die an American!
** [[Daniel Webster]], speech (July 17, 1850).

* Patriotism has become a mere national self assertion, a sentimentality of flag-cheering with no constructive duties.
** [[H. G. Wells]], ''Future in America''.

* The lines of red are lines of blood, nobly and unselfishly shed by men who loved the liberty of their fellowmen more than they loved their own lives and fortunes. God forbid that we should have to use the blood of America to freshen the color of the flag. But if it should ever be necessary, that flag will be colored once more, and in being colored will be glorified and purified.
** [[Woodrow Wilson]], Flag Day Speech (May 7, 1915).

* Our country—whether bounded by the St. John's and the Sabine, or however otherwise bounded or described, and be the measurements more or less;—still our country, to be cherished in all our hearts, and to be defended by all our hands.
** [[Robert C. Winthrop]], toast at Faneuil Hall (July 4, 1845). &quot;Our country, however bounded.&quot; Toast founded on the speech of Winthrop.

* There are no points of the compass on the chart of true patriotism.
** [[Robert C. Winthrop]], letter to Boston Commercial Club (12 June 1879).

* Our land is the dearer for our sacrifices. The blood of our martyrs sanctifies and enriches it. Their spirit passes into thousands of hearts. How costly is the progress of the race. It is only by the giving of life that we can have life.
** Rev. [[E. J. Young]], ''Lesson of the Hour'', in ''Magazine of History'', Extra. No. 43. Originally pub. in Monthly Religious Mag., Boston (May, 1865).

* America is the crucible of God. It is the melting pot where all the races are fusing and reforming … these are the fires of God you've come to…. Into the crucible with you all. God is making the American.
** [[Israel Zangwill]], ''The Melting Pot''

==''Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations'' (1989)==
* We would rather starve than sell our national honor.
** [[Indira Gandhi]], prime minister of India, remark at election meeting in Nagpur, India, as reported by The New York Times, January 23, 1967, p. 1. India had accepted trade restrictions with North Vietnam and Cuba to get grain from the United States. Prime Minister Gandhi said this did not compromise the country's honor because India had not been trading with North Vietnam, and her trade with Cuba was limited to the selling of jute products, which was not objected to by the United States.

* With earnest prayers to all my friends to cherish mutual good will, to promote harmony and conciliation, and above all things to let the love of our country soar above all minor passions, I tender you the assurance of my affectionate esteem and respect.
** [[Thomas Jefferson]], letter to John Hollins (May 5, 1811); in Andrew A. Lipscomb, ed., ''The Writings of Thomas Jefferson'', vol. 13 (1903), p. 58–59.

* Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
** [[Samuel Johnson]], James Boswell, Life of Johnson, entry for Friday, April 7, 1775, p. 615 (1970). &quot;In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer, I beg to submit that it is the first&quot;. Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, at entry for patriotism, The Collected Writings of Ambrose Bierce, p. 323 (1946, reprinted 1973). H. L. Mencken added this to Johnson's dictum: &quot;But there is something even worse: it is the first, last, and middle range of fools&quot;. The World, New York City, November 7, 1926, p. 3E

* True patriotism sometimes requires of men to act exactly contrary, at one period, to that which it does at another, and the motive which impels them—the desire to do right—is precisely the same.
** [[Robert E. Lee]], letter to General P. G. T. Beauregard, October 3, 1865. John William Jones, Life and Letters of Robert Edward Lee, Soldier and Man, p. 390 (1906).

* Intellectually I know America is no better than any other country; emotionally I know she is better than every other country.
** [[Sinclair Lewis]], radio interview in Berlin, Germany, December 29, 1930, as reported by The New York Times, December 30, 1930, p. 5.

* Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country it is a sign that he expects to be paid for it.
** [[H. L. Mencken]], A Mencken Chrestomathy, chapter 30, p. 616 (1949).

* Breathes there the man, with soul so dead,&lt;br&gt;Who never to himself hath said,&lt;br&gt;This is my own, my native land!&lt;br&gt;Whose heart hath ne'er within him burn'd,&lt;br&gt;As home his footsteps he hath turn'd,&lt;br&gt;From wandering on a foreign strand!
** Sir [[Walter Scott]], The Lay of the Last Minstrel, ed. Margaret A. Allen, canto sixth, 1, lines 1–6, p. 123 (1915).

* I venture to suggest that what we mean is a sense of national responsibility which will enable America to remain master of her power—to walk with it in serenity and wisdom, with self-respect and the respect of all mankind; a patriotism that puts country ahead of self; a patriotism which is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime. These are words that are easy to utter, but this is a mighty assignment. For it is often easier to fight for principles than to live up to them.
** [[Adlai Stevenson]], Governor of Illinois, speech to the American Legion convention, New York City, August 27, 1952. Speeches of Adlai Stevenson, p. 81 (1952).

== See also ==
* [[Nation]]
* [[Nationalism]]
* [[Statolatry]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wiktionary|patriotism}}

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'''''[[w:Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus|Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus]]''''' is an action role-playing third-person shooter video game developed and published by Square Enix in 2006 for the PlayStation 2.

&lt;center&gt;'''When the world becomes shrouded in darkness, his gun will toll a dreadful dirge...''' [[#Taglines|taglines]]&lt;/center&gt;


== Vincent Valentine ==
* It looks like I still have some work to do.
* Reeve. Nice to see you again. Not a very interesting outfit, though.
* You shouldn't leave those things lying around.
:''[After firing a bazooka he randomly picked up off the ground]''

* I’ll take care of your pet problem. Just keep driving.
* I guess I have no choice.
* The Sewers... How appropriate is that?
: ''[After being told the way into Shinra Manor]
* I used to be nothing but a stone in the river of time. But three years ago, it was you and the others who taught me I had to move ahead.
* When a person has someone they care about that much, giving their life is sometimes the least they can do. And maybe that's what makes us human.
* I didn’t say anything.
* Deepground. Shinra’s dark secret. Three years of hell below. Now... a world of hell above. The path to darkness opens once more.
* I think you dropped this.
: ''[Giving Shelke her phone as he rescues her]
* Hmh. Guess I have no choice. It's time... to save the world.

== Shelke Rui ==

* So? I don't understand... how someone could give her own life for that of another. Do you understand, Vincent Valentine?
* This feeling... is this what you meant... by doing something for someone... you care about?
* Dr. Crescent’s data has begun defragmenting within my mind. I can see many different images. Images she experienced with you.
* You must fight him! I don’t want you to die!
* As old as he is and still acting like a helpless child. I can see why Lucrecia had such a difficult time.
: ''[speaking of Vincent]
* I didn’t think... I had any... tears left.
* But, Vincent... I don't want to see the world end. I just... I just don't want there to be any more pain.
* Omega has awoken. And Chaos has been drawn out of the shadows to serve as a counterbalance. Or so it would seem.
* You’re late.
: ''[After Vincent rescues her]
* Vincent… do you remember the last words we exchanged? Do you remember our promise? Your promise to Lucrecia? Go. Tell her how you feel. Tell her what is truly in your heart.
* Everyone’s waiting, Vincent Valentine. I don’t know why they made me come up here and get you. Not that I mind though.

== Shalua Rui ==
* The Commissioner keeps telling me I’m wasting my time. My time searching. For my reason to live.
* Soul wrought of terra corrupt, quelling impurity, purging the stream to beckon forth an ultimate fate. Behold mighty Chaos, Omega's squire to the lofty heavens. A passage from Dr. Crescent's thesis. But that's all I know.
* No! It does matter! Even though ten years have passed, you’re still Shelke, my only sister!
* I have to admit, I wasn’t myself back there. Seeing you for the first time in ten years left me in a spin. But I’ve had time to recover. And I’m not letting you get away. Not this time. There’s no way I’m going to let you kill me, and there’s no way I’m going to let you go back to Deepground.
* I don’t remember you ever being able to win one of our fights. Do you? How about it? You wanna try your luck?
* Shelke… I'm sorry I let you suffer... for so long.

== Reeve Tuesti ==
* Deepground soldiers. The shadow of the Shinra Company, constructed by the former president and completely hidden from the rest of the world.
* I have good news. Using you-know-who, I was able to infiltrate Midgar. However, what I saw wasn't the prettiest of pictures.
* I’m so ashamed. I’m supposed to be a hero of the Jenova war. But look at me.
* By slaughtering thousands of innocent souls, they [Deepground] are creating a pure Lifestream in order to trick the planet into thinking the end is near.
* The WRO is crucial to this planet’s survival. I’m not concerned with the reasons this person has for helping us as long as he continues writing the checks. Though, I have a feeling it is probably someone who believes he is in debt to the planet.
: ''[When Vincent asks him who’s backing the WRO]

== Lucrecia Crescent ==
* I'm so sorry.
:''[Repeated line]
* I apologize! This is the first time I’ve ever met anyone from the Turks! Lucrecia Crescent. Pleased to make your acquaintance, Mr. Valentine.
* Omega. His awakening is upon us.
* Soul wrought of terra corrupt, quelling impurity, purging the stream to beckon forth an ultimate fate. Behold mighty Chaos, Omega's squire to the lofty heavens. I came across this passage while studying the scriptures of the Ancients. The Chronicles of Yore. Omega: The end.
* Just as all other sentient beings, he too, is born of the Lifestream. However, his only purpose is to cleanse the planet of all things living and lead their immortal souls through the abyssal aether to a new beginning far, far beyond the never ending sea of stars.
* Just as life circulates through our planet, so too, does our planet through the universe. Or at least in theory. However, what I can be certain of is, if Omega awakens, then all life as we know it will end. And when Omega has embarked on his journey to the cosmos, our planet will die.
* Why are you so surprised? Is my face ''that'' hideous?
:''[When she wakes a startled Vincent]
*You must fight him! I don’t want you to die!
* Vincent... did you know that your eyes... are exactly like your father’s?
* Give him back! Give my son back! Let me see him! Just once!
* Vincent. Do you remember our place? Under that tree? The warm breeze on our skin... I know that it no longer exists. Things fade with time, as do many things in this world. But, there are some things that we cannot let disappear.

== Yuffie Kisaragi ==
* Vincent... get out of there... I have a bad feeling about this!
* I am the champion of the earth and the sky. I am the conqueror of evil. The single white rose of Wutai! Yuffie Kisaragi!  Feast your eyes on— ''[falls and hits her head]''.

* You-! Could you at least pretend to be sympathetic?
*  I was poking around Nibelheim and I found you looking all corpselike in Shinra Manor. So I saved you! Imagine that- me, saving the great Vincent Valentine. Do I get any thanks?
* There you have it! I don't know what's going down, but it sounds big. I've been waiting a long time to get my hands on those Deepground punks. They've had their way long enough. Now it's time to give them a taste of pain a-la-Yuffie.
* Even in a world where fear and despair reign over the heavens, you must never forget where there is shadow, there is always light! That’s right! Bask in my rays, evildoers. Feel the radiance of Wutai Super Ninja, Yuffie Kisaragi! Back and ready for action!
* What’s he doing? What’s he doing? What’s going on?! I don’t get it!

== Professor Hojo ==
* Yes, a body… for my next experiment! A genius! That’s what I am! Success here will justify previous failures.
* Once a scientist, always a scientist, I must say. How happy this fellow must be, helping his beloved! Even after he’s begun rotting away!
* Still in the dark? Three years ago, while I was still running about looking for Sephiroth, I took it upon myself to distribute my data— my mind, my knowledge, my inner being, across the worldwide network. And even though my body had died, and the world had been left in ruin, I survived in a virtual reality. When the network was restored, the scattered data regrouped and I was reborn. A neo-Reunion, you could say.
* I’m sorry. Let us do this right. Hello, Vincent, how long has it been? Three years? You know, when I first read it, I thought that woman's thesis was utter nonsense. I couldn’t believe some fabled beast from legend past had anything to do with your survival.

== Rosso the Crimson ==

* You know, this is the first time I’ve ever felt the rain on my skin. But then again, I hadn’t even seen the sky until a few days ago.
* It’s not everyday you are given the chance to cleanse the world of all life. Just the thought sends a chill of excitement through my body.
* And what do you think we did when we gained our freedom, hmm? We killed. It was how we were raised. That is all we knew. And so I bathed in the blood of a thousand soldiers. And I enjoyed it. I reveled in it. And when I finally stepped out of the abyss, I craved for more.
* Wutai flea!!
:''[After Yuffie rescues Vincent]
* I'm a Tsviet! I traded in my human weaknesses for power long ago. It is the path I've chosen. And the path I'll tread. Until I've sucked all life from this pitiful world!
* Someone…. stronger… than… than…! A… ah… absurd! Absurd!

== Azul the Cerulean ==
* Answer me this; do you know why you even exist? Hmph, just as I thought. Ignorant to your own destiny.
* You may think this is the end, but…
* Ohh. Something inside you wants out. Its stench is so very familiar. Come, Vincent! Show me your rage! Now... let the killing begin!
* It looks... like you were... more beast... than I. Very well. I’ll see you again, Vincent, in hell.

== Nero the Sable ==
* So that is Chaos. Intriguing. Soul wrote of terra corrupt. Perhaps I should simply let him live out his destiny of destruction.
* Ah, so you wish to dance.
* Impressive. Perhaps Azul and Rosso never stood a chance against the mighty Valentine.
* I see. Soul wrote of terra corrupt. My darkness would have no control over you, would it. So I must try a different dance.
* My darkness— it can absorb as well as extract almost anything. However, some things remain— things as black as the heart of a daemon. Ahh, the essence of death. Its ululations are like a lullaby.

== Cait Sith ==
* Ha HA! That was a close one! Never was good at fightin’. Luckily, I came out wearin’ ‘Reeve.’ You’re really not a bad bloke, are you Vincent— ahh, you pretend not to care but you always come through in the end, hah ha!
* Let’s run those lads outta town! I’ll leave the method up to you.
* Wha…! What in the blazes is growing down there?
* Alright, take it away, Shelke!

== Miscellaneous ==

* And so the hound weaves the final chapter in this tale of life...
** Opening logo.

* For the past three years this door has remained sealed. However, that seal is about to be broken. There are no records of this place located deep beneath the Shinra Building, another of the companies’ secrets revealed recently. According to investigative reports, there is evidence that thousands of people were once transported here.
** T.V. Anchor woman.

* &quot;With Jenova War hero Reeve Tuesti at its helm, our organization is dedicated to aiding the healing process of the planet, as well as protecting it from any who attempt further harm.&quot;
** WRO Soldier.

* You know, I was born in Midgar. My brother and I used to play here all the time. My mom didn’t approve, though. After she died, my brother joined a Shinra resistance group, but was killed when the plate fell. I can’t believe this place is still here.
** WRO Lieutenant

== Dialogue ==

:''[Meteor is hovering in the sky above Midgar as Yuffie is evacuating everyone]''
:'''Yuffie''': C’mon, hurry up! And try not to drop anyone this time! ''[to soldier]'' Report!
:'''Soldier''': Evact complete! All injured have been removed to the transports!
:'''Yuffie''': Ok, let’s get outta here! Just remember to keep on guard until you’re clear of the red zone!
:''[calls Vincent]''
:'''Yuffie''': We’re all done here. How ‘bout you?
:'''Vincent''': Finished. But Yuffie… I want you to check the Mako Cannon.
:'''Yuffie''': But… we already…
:''[checks signal: LIFE SIGNS 01 shows up on screen]''
:'''Yuffie''': What the—!
:'''Vincent''': Just as I thought.
:'''Yuffie''': Hold on, hold on! This is crazy! There’s no way anybody could be up there! No!
:'''Vincent''': Yuffie. Rendezvous with Cloud and the others. It looks like I still have some work to do. ''[hangs up]''
:'''Yuffie''': Hey, whoa! ...Vincent... get out of there... I have a bad feeling about this!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is running up stairs; reaches top and spies a figure in a lab coat draped over a computer console; he glares and raises gun up to shoot; lightning bold smashes into the top, causing an explosion; when Vincent look back up the figure is gone; the tower starts exploding;]''
:''[Yuffie swerves by on hover bike]''
:'''Yuffie''': Vincent!!
:''[Vincent leaps and lands on behind her; he takes control as Yuffie lays against the steering, motion-sick; below them, the entire thing starts to blow up]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''Three years later…
:''[A drop of water falls into small circle of water surrounding crystal in the middle of cave. Vincent's eyes open: he looks up at the crystal containing Lucrecia]''
:'''Vincent''': ''[narrating]'' So...we meet again, Lucrecia.
:'''Lucrecia''': ''S-s-sorr-y...''
:''[screen goes black.]''
:'''Lucrecia''':  I'm so sorry.
:''[cuts back to scene of Vincent in Kalm in his room]''
:'''Vincent''': …Why? I'm the one who should apologize.
:''[T.V. is on; pan shot of Vincent’s cell-phone with a text from Reeve Tuesti, reading, ‘Meet me in Kalm. We need to talk.’]''
:'''T.V. Anchor Man''': Three weeks ago our crew left for Midgar.
:'''T.V. Anchor Woman''': However, the groups whereabouts still remain unknown. What really happened down there?
:'''T.V. Anchor Man''': Tonight, for the first time, we bring you the final transmission received before all contact was lost.
:'''T.V. Anchor woman''': For the past three years this door has remained sealed. However, that seal is about to be broken. There are no records of this place located deep beneath the Shinra Building, another of the companies’ secrets revealed recently. According to investigative reports, there is evidence that thousands of people were once transported here. If rumors of the Shinra Company conducting human experiments are true, then this may be where those nefarious deeds were carried out. To bring you this exclusive footage, Channel 7 News has teamed up with volunteer organization—oh, wait, I think I see something—
:''[T.V. fades out as fireworks drown it out; Vincent look out his window at the town; a pan shot of Kalm shows the town having a carnival/celebration]''
:''[Vincent jerks his head around in time to see an explosion outside his window; people start screaming; Vincent manages to get out his room as helicopter shoots it; he attacks and brings down the helicopter;]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent looks around at the town]''
:'''Vincent''': Huh. What’s going on?
:''[three Deepground soldiers come up behind him; their helmets scan him; pan shot of a girl hooked up to a bunch of computers;]''
:'''Shelke''': Found you.
:''[Deepground soldiers attack;]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Shelke pulls off headset]''
:'''Shelke''': Vincent Valentine. We’ve found you.
:'''Azul''': Is this the one?
:'''Shelke''': Yes.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent walks into room; a hole blows in one side of the wall; Azul steps in with Shelke]''
:'''Shelke''': The Protomateria. Tell us where it is.
:''[Vincent remains silent]''
:'''Azul''': Hail Weiss.
:'''Deepground Soldiers''': Hail Weiss!
:''[they attack]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Azul''': Challenge accepted.
:''[He moves towards Vincent; Shelke suddenly collapses; Reeve’s voice is heard outside the room]''
:'''Reeve''': This way!
:'''Azul''': Hm. Luck is on your side.
:''[picks Shelke up with one hand and starts to leave]''
:'''Shelke''': I’m… sorry…
:''[Azul pauses and stares at Vincent]''
:'''Azul''': I am Azul. We ''will'' meet again.
:''[leaves; Reeve rushes in]''
:'''Reeve''': What happened here?
:''[sees Vincent]''
:'''Reeve''': Vincent Valentine. Are you alright?
:'''Vincent''': Mm hm. Reeve. Nice to see you again. Not a very interesting outfit, though.
:'''Reeve''': ''[laughs]'' It took me a while to decide what costume to put on today. But enough of this small talk. Who were those soldiers that just left?
:'''Vincent''': I don’t know. The Large one called himself ‘Azul’.
:'''Reeve''': Azul the Cerulean?! Of the Tsviets? Then that could only mean…
:'''Soldier''': Commissioner!
:''[Deepground soldiers are closing in]''
:'''Reeve''': We'll discuss this later. WRO troops have arrived and commenced rescue operations. We could use your help, Vincent.
:''[begins to walk away.]''
:'''Vincent''': Reeve.
:''[Reeve stops and partially turns around.]''
:'''Vincent''': ''[sighs]'' I don't know what you are up to, but I want absolutely no part of it.
:'''Reeve''': But... You fought alongside us three years ago! We need your help once mor—
:''[Reeve gets shot from behind by enemy soldier; Vincent shoots down enemy soldier before running to Reeve's side.]''
:'''Vincent''': Reeve!
:''[He goes to pick up Reeve, who falls apart into several pieces; out pops Cait Sith.]''
:'''Cait Sith''': Ha HA! That was a close one! Never was good at fightin’. Luckily, I came out wearin’ ‘Reeve.’ You’re really not a bad bloke, are you Vincent— ahh, you pretend not to care but you always come through in the end, hah ha!
:'''Vincent''': ''[sighs again]'' Alright. What do you want me to do?
:'''Cait Sith''': Let’s run those lads outta town! I’ll leave the method up to you. When you’ve tidied thing up, meet me in the square in front of the East Church.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''WRO Member''': Mr. Vincent Valentine? I’m an officer with the World Regenesis Organization. Speak with me if you need any assistance. The WRO was originally established after Meteor three years ago. With Jenova War hero Reeve Tuesti at its helm, our organization is dedicated to aiding the healing process of the planet, as well as protecting it from any who attempt further harm. Sir! You can see the East Church is just past these buildings! We will help you secure the area.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Reeve''': Good work, Vincent. The enemy is retreating. It seems they have finally begun their withdrawal from Kalm.
:'''Vincent''': Good.
:'''Reeve''': However, we still require your assistance. Reports are Edge is under attack.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Two WRO Soldiers are shooting from behind boxes; suddenly a strange darkness engulfs one and he disappears; the other doesn’t notice]''
:'''WRO Soldier''': Quick, toss me another clip! ''[looks beside him]'' Huh!?
:''[the darkness suddenly swallows him]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[A team of WRO Soldiers are going through a building; darkness suddenly sweeps over one in the back and he disappears]''
:'''WRO Soldier''': ''[looks behind him]'' Where’d everyone go?
:''[laughter comes up behind them; they turn to see Rosso above them]''
:'''WRO Soldier''': Who the hell are you?
:'''Rosso''': Rosso. Rosso the Crimson.
:'''WRO Soldier''': Tsviets!
:''[Rosso pulls out her blade and suddenly reappears behind them and kills them in one blow]''
:'''Rosso''': Huh. The mighty WRO. They wouldn’t last a day in Deepground.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Vincent''': Reeve. Who were those men?
:'''Reeve''': Deepground soldiers.
:'''Vincent''': Deepground?
:'''Reeve''': Yes. The shadow of the Shinra Company, constructed by the former president and completely hidden from the rest of the world.
:'''Vincent''': Constructed?
:'''Reeve''': His goal was to create an army of superhuman warriors— not once letting morality interfere. The man you met earlier, Azul, is also a member of Deepground. But he belongs to an elite unit known as the Tsviets. The whole organization was kept a secret. That’s why there’s so little information on them. However it’s nothing like I expected.
:'''Vincent''': Not even a person in your position was informed?
:'''Reeve''': No. Other than the president himself the only people who knew of Deepground’s existence was most likely Heidegger, Scarlet, and the head of Biochemical Research, Hojo. After the President’s death the transfer of power to his son was carried out so quickly I doubt Rufus was ever briefed on the project. As for me I was told the information was a need to know basis and as an official in charge of Urban Development I guess I wasn’t on their ‘list’. All the currant intel we have on Deepground was only discovered recently. We came across some of Scarlet’s old files.
:'''Vincent''': Huh.
:'''Reeve''': Vincent… have you heard of the mass disappearance that occurred recently in Junon?
:'''Vincent''': Hmm. I remember the report saying that twenty or thirty people suddenly vanished.
:'''Reeve''': That’s what the report would like you to believe. It was determined internally that if the truth was leaked they wouldn’t be able to contain the inevitable panic. The actual number of people that went missing that day… was twelve hundred.
:'''Vincent''': Huh?
:'''Reeve''': Twelve hundred people simply vanished that day without a single trace. The WRO conducted a private investigation, but we came up empty-handed… except for the rumors. Since the Juno disappearances people of Edge have been… on edge. They say night after night you can hear screams coming from the direction of Midgar. Could it be the wind? Let me ask you; does the wind sound a thousand wailing souls? Listen… can you hear them? The cries?
:'''Soldier''': Commissioner! A rogue transmission is being broadcasted on all wavelengths!
:''[Reeve leaps up]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent and Reeve are watching screen]''
:'''Weiss''': At last… the time has come to cleanse this world. The pure will be spared for the cause, while the tainted will be hunted down and exterminated. Slashed, strangled and slaughtered. Beaten, stabbed and crushed. Gutted and impaled, shot and executed without mercy. The time has come to cleanse this world.
:''[starts laughing maniacally as Reeve and Vincent look on in horror and disgust; the message terminates]''
:'''Reeve''': Where could… that signal have…
:''[the vehicle they are in jolts; Reeve leaps out of his seat in alarm]''
:'''Reeve''': What was that?!
:''[runs to back of van and flings the rear doors open; a creature leaps at him only to drop as Vincent shoots it]''
:'''Reeve''': Guardhounds!
:''[Vincent shoots another]''
:'''Vincent''': I’ll take care of your pet problem. Just keep driving.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[after escaping the guardhounds]''
:'''Vincent''': Are you alright?
:'''Reeve''': I’ll be fine, but that’s more than I can say for the engine. Vincent… if possible, I want you to continue on to Edge. That transmission we just saw troubles me. Once I have repaired the Shadowfox, I’ll need to return to headquarters. A WRO squad has already been dispatched to Edge. Join them, and help liberate the city.
:'''Vincent''': ''[exhales]'' I guess I have no choice.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Rosso''': ''[laughing into the air]'' Slashed, strangled and slaughtered. Beaten, stabbed and crushed. Gutted and impaled, shot and executed without mercy. Nicely said, Weiss. I wonder if this will be more amusing than last time....
:''[panshot shows she is surrounded by WRO bodies]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is looking down a street from a corner; Shalua sees him, and Vincent whirls; both manage to point guns in each others faces; Vincent looks down at her badge]''
:'''Vincent''': You’re WRO?
:'''Shalua''': Who’s asking?
:'''Vincent''': ''[puts his gun back in its holster]'' Vincent Valentine. Reeve sent me.
:'''Shalua''': ''[twirls gun and shoves it into her holster]'' My apologies. Shalua Rui, with the WRO. The Commissioner has told me much about you.
:'''Vincent''': What happened here?
:'''Shalua''': That’s what I would like to know. I’m here on other business, but something’s not right. It’s too… quiet. I’ve seen no trace of Deepground, or the squads that were sent in to fight them. Also, where are the five hundred people that were supposed to be living here? Well… this is getting us nowhere. Like I said, I have business to attend to. I’ll see you around.
:''[starts walking off]''
:'''Vincent''': Business?
:'''Shalua''': ''[pauses]'' The Commissioner keeps telling me I’m wasting my time. My time searching.
:'''Vincent''': Searching for what?
:'''Shalua''': For my reason to live.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is crouched in front of soldier sitting against a wall]''
:'''Wounded WRO soldier''': ''[gasping]'' Agh… ah… Am…bushed… by… soldiers… and squad… wiped out… warehouse… they…were gathering… civilians…
:''[soldier goes limp; Vincent walks over and closes man’s eyes]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[A small boy hiding in the corner of square runs to Vincent]''
:'''Small Boy''': Uh… thanks. The warehouse… I…I know how to get there. It’s though that gate. You have the card key?
:''[Vincent shakes head]''
:'''Small Boy''': C’mon, I know someone who does. Follow me.
:''[…]''
:'''Small Boy''': There. That should let you through.
:'''Vincent''': Right. Thanks kid.
:'''Small Boy''': ''[starts crying]'' Avenge… I couldn’t…do…Mom and dad… right there, but I couldn’t move...
:''[Vincent slowly crouches in front of boy]''
:'''Small Boy''': I was too scared—but, but… Please! Please, help me avenge their deaths!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Rosso''': You know, this is the first time I’ve ever felt the rain on my skin. But then again, I hadn’t even seen the sky until a few days ago.
:''[turns to look at Vincent]''
:'''Rosso''': So, you're Vincent Valentine. Keeper of the Protomateria.
:'''Vincent''': Proto…materia?
:'''Rosso''': Yes. The key to controlling Omega. We know you have it. Hand it over now, and I’ll kill you… ''quickly''.
:''[Vincent stares at her stoically]''
:'''Rosso''': ''[laughs]'' Not one to argue, are you. Then I’ll make sure you suffer. Time to die!
:''[attacks while Vincent dodges; but manages to throw Vincent against a wall; Vincent erupts into Chaos Form]''
:'''Rosso''': Ahhh!
:''[Rosso is thrown back; returning to form, Vincent collapses, managing to see a pair of feet walking towards him before blacking out]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[During flashbacks]''
:'''Vincent''': Lucrecia.
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[from within crystal]'' ''…Sorry…''
:'''Vincent''': ...Why?
:'''Lucrecia''': ''...Awake…''
:'''Vincent''': Awake?
:''[screen goes black]''
:'''Lucrecia''': I’m so sorry.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[During flashbacks]''
:'''Past Vincent''':  Talk! Why did you let this happen!?
:'''Hojo''':  Silence.
:'''Vincent''':  You…!
:'''Hojo''':  Silence!!
:''[Hojo shoots Vincent; past Vincent falls down, staring at Hojo's boots as his vision blurs.]''
:'''Hojo''': Why can't these people just keep quiet? Yes, a body… for my next experiment! ''[laughs maniacally]'' A genius! That’s what I am! Success here will justify previous failures.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent awakes in a life support tank]''
:'''Shalua''' Well look who’s awake.
:''[Vincent looks around]''
:'''Shalua''' ''[stands]'' Hold on, I’ll release you.
:'''Vincent''': ''[after getting out:]'' Where am I?
:'''Shalua''' Safe inside the WRO Headquarters. I carried you back here from Edge after you collapsed during your fight with Deepground. It seems like the beast inside you went a little wild back there. This happen often?
:'''Vincent''': Went wild? Do you mean… Chaos?
:'''Shalua''': Chaos? Your body harbors the Chaos gene? Oh, so that explains your relationship with Dr. Lucrecia Crescent. Were you the product of one of her experiments?
:'''Vincent''': Lucrecia’s... experiments?
:'''Shalua''': I apologize. That wasn’t what I meant.
:'''Vincent''': Wait. Lucrecia... was researching... Chaos?
:'''Shalua''': ''[slowly]'' Don’t tell me you didn’t know. ''[opens file on computer]'' Crescent. General Class A scientist specializing in biotechnology. In her research thesis, &quot;The Planet's Pulse,&quot; she refers to Chaos as one of the sentient xenoforms residing among us. However, the theories she presented in her work were so abstract and…
:''[Shalua’s voice fades as Vincent stares at computer; Lucrecia’s voice echoes in Vincent’s mind]''
:'''Lucrecia''': I’m so sorry… awaken.
:''[Shalua notices Vincent isn’t listening]''
:'''Shalua''': Are you alright?
:'''Vincent''': …Can I see that thesis?
:'''Shalua''': Unfortunately, no. On top of being obscure, it was never even submitted to the Shinra Database. All I know is what I saw going through the company’s archives.
:''[door opens and Reeve walks in]''
:'''Reeve''': Vincent! Have you recovered already?

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Shelke is typing on computer; Azul walks up behind her]''
:'''Azul''' What is the status of our keeper?
:'''Shelke''': His location remains unchanged since the confrontation. We can assume that this is the WRO’s headquarters.
:'''Azul''' Hah, good. Two birds with one stone.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Reeve''': So. Rosso the Crimson told you that Protomateria is the key to controlling Omega.
:'''Vincent''': Yeah.
:'''Reeve''': ''[to Shalua]'' Any ideas?
:'''Shalua''': Soul wrought of terra corrupt, quelling impurity, purging the stream to beckon forth an ultimate fate. Behold mighty Chaos, Omega's squire to the lofty heavens.
:'''Reeve''': Where’d you...?
:'''Shalua''': A passage from Dr. Crescent's thesis. But that's all I know. Unfortunately, I only saw a fragment of the document. However, Chaos... Omega...and... All seem to be connected to Dr. Crescent in some way. There’s no other explanation. I think we’ll need to gather more data on her to get anywhere.
:''[alarm goes off]''
:'''Reeve''': What now?!
:''[Azul destroys security camera]''
:'''Shalua''': Damn!
:''[Shalua shuts all the security doors]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Azul''' ''[to Deepground soldiers]''  Move.
:''[slams and breaks open a door]''
:'''Azul''' Painless. ''[to Deepground soldiers]'' Go!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Reeve''': ''[through loudspeakers]'' Vincent! The enemy has reached the main gate. Hurry!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Shalua is feverishly typing at computer; looks up at the monitor for the busted security camera and faintly sees Shelke pass]''
:'''Shalua''': ''[leaps up]'' What?! It couldn’t be!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''WRO Soldier''': ''[as Vincent comes running up]'' Mr. Valentine! A sizable enemy unit is heading strait for the Command Center. Please sir! You have to help the Commissioner! Agh!
:''[bullet barely misses her; Vincent charges through doorway as bullets fly past]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Cait Sith''': Take that!
:''[Deepground soldier flies by and hits a wall; Cait Sith and Reeve emerge from doorway and see Vincent]''
:'''Reeve''': Don’t worry, I’ll be fine here. But Vincent, the Tsviets. Azul is still on the loose.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is walking towards Shalua; an invisible Shelke is following him, barely visible; Shalua pulls a gun and points it at Shelke, but also at Vincent]''
:'''Shalua''': Don’t move!
:''[Vincent tenses; but Shelke steps away from him and becomes visible]''
:'''Shelke''': Very perceptive of you.
:''[Vincent quickly crosses over to stand next to Shalua]''
:'''Shalua''': I knew it. Shelke.
:'''Shelke''': ''[coldly]'' I have no acquaintances in the WRO.
:'''Shalua''': We… we both changed so much. No, you… you haven’t changed at all. Not in ten years.
:''[Shelke gives a low gasp]''
:'''Shalua''': Shelke, it’s me! Shalua.
:''[Shelke turns painfully away]''
:'''Shalua''': I’ve been… I’ve been searching for you for so long.
:''[goes to touch Shelke; Shelke whirls and whips out her weapons; she powers them up and points one in Shalua’s face]''
:'''Shelke''': Don’t take another step.
:'''Shalua''': Shelke.
:'''Shelke''': It doesn’t matter who I am or who you are. My currant mission as a Deepground soldier is all that is [[relevant]].
:'''Shalua''': ''[desperately]'' No! It does matter! Even though ten years have passed, you’re still Shelke, my only sister!
:''[Shelke depowers her weapons and turns away]''
:'''Shelke''': Ten years. Has it been that long. The day they came to take me away I was told I had potential. But those words were nothing but a precursor to a decade of suffering. They manipulated my mind until I was a shadow of my original self. The pain… the fear. For ten years I lived in hell far deeper than any you could imagine. But look at me; I should be nineteen this year. If I don’t receive my daily dose of Mako, this body wouldn’t last a day. However, I don’t consider myself the least bit unfortunate. Except…
:''[Shelke turns to look at Shalua]''
:'''Shelke''': That for so long I held on to a foolish thread of hope; that someday someone would come to save me.
:''[Shalua falls to her knees and starts to cry]''
:'''Shalua''': I’m sorry, Shelke. I’m so sorry...
:''[Shelke powers her weapons up]''
:'''Shelke''':  It’s time to put the past behind us.
:'''Reeve''': Stop this!
:''[Reeve runs up suddenly behind Shelke; Shelke turns]''
:'''Shelke''': Reeve Tuesti.
:'''Reeve''': So, you are Shalua’s youngest sister.
:'''Shelke''': Excellent. Now I can terminate both of you at once—
:'''Reeve''': Look at her! That’s the price Shalua has paid fighting Shinra for the past ten years. She has given more than her arm. More than her eye. She has put her life on the line time and time again. All to find her lost sister. More than half her organs have been reconstructed. Not a day goes by when Shalua doesn’t suffer the pain of a thousand souls. But still, she...
:'''Shelke''': ...Enough. I’ve... I’ve heard enough.
:''[raises her weapons again; Vincent whips out his gun and points it at her]''
:'''Reeve''': Stop!
:''[Reeve pulls out pistol and shoots pipe above them; water comes spraying out; Vincent runs and grabs Shalua, protecting her, as water puts Shelke’s blades out just in time as she swings at Shalua’s head; Shelke halts]''
:'''Reeve''': Vincent.
:''[Vincent nods and pulls a limp Shalua away to safety; Reeve gives Vincent narcotic bullets]''
:'''Reeve''': Use these.
:''[Vincent takes bullets and loads gun; walks away]''
:'''Shalua''': ''[rouses]'' Shelke…? Shelke?!
:'''Reeve''': Don’t worry. The bullets will only sedate her. Let Vincent handle this.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[after Vincent and Shelke battle; narcotic bullet hits Shelke]''
:'''Shelke''': Ugh…
:''[Shelke collapses unconscious]''
:'''Shalua''': Shelke!
:''[Shalua runs to Shelke and holds her; Vincent and Reeve discreetly leave]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Azul busts through roof; lands in front of Vincent]''
:'''Azul''' We meet again. Answer me this; do you know why you even exist?
:''[Vincent remains silent]''
:'''Azul''' Hmph, just as I thought. Ignorant to your own destiny. Very well, I’ll show you what you really are—!
:''[Vincent shoots explosive at Azul’s feet; Azul emerges from the explosion unscathed because of his shield]''
:'''Azul''' Hah! You think that toy can penetrate my armor? Enough of the games, ''Vincent''. Give me the Protomateria.
:'''Reeve''': Vincent! Over here!
:''[Vincent backs away towards Reeve, still shooting at Azul; the bullets are blocked harmlessly by his shield]''
:'''Azul''' You can’t run!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Reeve and Vincent are running from Azul]''
:'''Reeve''': Vincent!
:''[Vincent nods; grabs a bazooka lying randomly on the floor; he turns and shoots it at Azul; the following explosion sends Reeve and Vincent flying backwards]''
:'''Vincent''': ''[getting up]'' You shouldn’t leave those things lying around.
:''[Reeve starts laughing; suddenly Azul walks out the dust of the explosion; his shield shatters; Azul starts laughing maniacally]''
:'''Azul''' Well done. You have broken through my barrier.
:'''Vincent''': ''[to Reeve]'' This ends here. Leave him to me.
:'''Azul''' Long has it been since I faced… a worthy opponent!
:''[after Azul and Vincent battle]''
:'''Azul''' You may think this is the end, but…
:''[stagger and falls on his back]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is walking away]''
:'''Reeve''': Where are you...
:'''Vincent''': ''[turns]'' Nibelheim.
:'''Reeve''': Wait. Shinra Manor? But that is where... Understood. However, be on your guard. We have reports of Deepground units deployed in that area. If you wish to enter the manor in one piece, I suggest you use the sewer system extending from the old Mako Reactor.
:'''Vincent''': The sewers… how appropriate is that.
:''[walks away]''
:'''Reeve''': Now, as for me and my feline companion, it’s time we found what Deepground is truly up to.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent enters elevator; leans against wall and recalls memories; he’s facing Lucrecia in Turk outfit]''
:'''Vincent''': Vincent Valentine, reporting for duty, ma’am. I’ve been assigned your protection.
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[gasps]'' No…
:'''Vincent''': Huh?
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[to herself]'' Why would they... send his…
:'''Vincent''': Excuse me?
:'''Lucrecia''': Uh, oh! ''[flustered and trying to cover her first reaction]'' I apologize! This is the first time I’ve ever met anyone from the Turks! Lucrecia Crescent. Pleased to make your acquaintance, Mr. Valentine.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Cait Sith is falling downwards]''
:'''Cait Sith''': AHH!
:''[tries gripping the wall; claws slip and leave scratch marks behind as he continues to fall; he lands and continues to walk around]''
:''[…]''
:'''Cait Sith''': This has got to be the place!
:''[later on he sees container of people going by]''
:'''Cait Sith''': Och, that’s the same container I saw at Kalm!
:''[later on he sees the container of people fall screaming towards a strange substance]''
:'''Cait Sith''': What! Good gracious me!
:''[giant hand reaches out from the substance and seizes container and drags it under]''
:'''Cait Sith''': ''[horrorstruck]'' Wha…! What in the blazes is growing down there?
:''[Nero emerges from darkness behind Cait Sith]''
:'''Nero''': Usher of souls. My brother. Omega.
:'''Cait Sith''': It’s Nero the Sable! Oh dear—
:''[darkness engulfs him]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent walks into room, gun at ready; sees a glowing ball roll towards him; he pick it up and it erupts into light; Lucrecia is suddenly behind him]''
:'''Vincent''': ''[startled]'' Lucrecia.
:'''Lucrecia''': Vincent. Right. Have you... come to check up on me?
:''[Lucrecia slowly approaches Vincent; he opens his arms but she walks through him, being nothing but a hologram]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Omega. His awakening is upon us.
:''[the room goes white; Lucrecia is now in the crystal cave, moving towards the large crystal in the middle of the room]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Soul wrought of terra corrupt, quelling impurity, purging the stream to beckon forth an ultimate fate. Behold mighty Chaos, Omega's squire to the lofty heavens. I came across this passage while studying the scriptures of the Ancients. The Chronicles of Yore. Omega: The end. Just as all other sentient beings, he too, is born of the Lifestream. However, his only purpose is to cleanse the planet of all things living and lead their immortal souls through the abyssal aether to a new beginning far, far beyond the never ending sea of stars.
:''[light starts to build above Lucrecia’s hands until a single orb forms; then it shatters]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Just as life circulates through our planet, so too, does our planet through the universe. Or at least in theory. However…
:''[the crystal room falls away around Lucrecia into a galaxy]''
:'''Lucrecia''': What I can be certain of is, if Omega awakens, then all life as we know it will end. And when Omega has embarked on his journey to the cosmos, our planet will die.
:''[back in original room]''
:'''Lucrecia''': I will leave a copy of my records here for you, Vincent. Though I... I cannot imagine what help they might be, if any at all. Just remember… ''[bows head]'' I am so sorry.
:''[hologram of Lucrecia disappears; glowing ball breaks in Vincent hand; Vincent lurches forward]''
:'''Vincent''': Lucrecia...

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is walking; suddenly drops to his knees in pain; then a memory of him in a life support tank with Lucrecia peering at him from the outside surfaces]''
:'''Vincent''': This pain…
:'''Rosso''':  Well, well, we meet again. This is perfect. I so wanted to see you, my love.
:'''Vincent''': ''[stands]'' Deepground. What are they attempting to do with Omega?
:'''Rosso''':  I don’t know, and to be honest, I don’t care.
:'''Vincent''': What?
:'''Rosso''':  But this is what Weiss desires. Hail Weiss. And what Weiss orders, we do. It’s very simple. If he desires the awakening of Omega, then that is what all of Deepground desires. We could care less what happens to the planet. But all this matters little to me. It’s not everyday you are given the chance to cleanse the world of all life. Just the thought sends a chill of excitement through my body. The Deepground soldiers were born and bred to kill. We were chained to a destiny of servitude. But then three years ago, we were freed from our chains. But waiting for us was darkness lit only by the faint glow of Mako. And what do you think we did when we gained our freedom, hmm?” ''[laughs]'' “We killed. It was how we were raised. That is all we knew. And so I bathed in the blood of a thousand soldiers. And I enjoyed it. I reveled in it. And when I finally stepped out of the abyss, I craved for more. You understand, right?
:'''Vincent''': ''[pulls gun out and points at Rosso]'' I don’t think so.
:'''Rosso''': ''[backing away]'' How can you say that, darling? You are the same!
:''[Rosso leaps away and runs; Vincent chases but is stopped by an enemy robot]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[After Vincent battles enemy robot; Rosso sneaks up on him; as Vincent turns she stabs him in the chest with her arm and wrenches the Protomateria out of his chest; Vincent crumples to the floor]''
:'''Rosso''': I'm sorry. Were you not expecting that?
:''[watches Vincent contorting on the ground as he changes to Chaos form and then returns to his own]''
:'''Rosso''': Ahh… So, you cannot control the beast without this. Well, there will be no need for it when I'm done with you!
:''[kneels to kill Vincent; mysterious figure throws weapon at her; they battle and a sudden light blinds Rosso temporarily; she looks around and snarls when she sees that the figure and Vincent are gone]''
:'''Rosso''': Wutai flea!!
:''[runs out the manor and looks around; then brings her fist down into the ground in fury]''
:'''Rosso''': AHHH! If you manage to survive that wound… I’ll make sure you don’t survive the next one! ...But no matter. The end is upon us.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Past Vincent is talking with Hojo in a room]''
:'''Past Vincent''':  Is it true?
:'''Hojo''':  Is what true?
:'''Vincent''': That Lucrecia— that Dr. Crescent is to take part in this project?
:''[Lucrecia walks in]''
:'''Lucrecia''': It’s true.
:''[walks up to desk Hojo is sitting behind]''
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[coldly]'' Why are you so surprised?
:'''Vincent''': But using your own child... for an experiment?
:'''Hojo''':  Hah! I don’t know what you’re implying, but both of us are scientists, and we know what we are doing. You are the last person to have any word in this! Now, leave us at once, boy!
:'''Vincent''': But...
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[harshly]'' But what? ''[as Vincent hesitates]'' If you have something to say, then say it.
:'''Vincent''': Are you... are you sure this is what you really want?
:'''Lucrecia''': Am I sure?! Am I sure?! If this only concerns me, then yes I am sure!
:'''Vincent''': Oh... I... I just... ''[narrating]'' All I did was watch. I didn't even try to stop her. And then...
:''[shows Lucrecia walking, when suddenly she collapses; scenes of Jenova and Sephiroth flash by as she holds her womb in pain]''
:'''Vincent''': That was my sin. And this... this... is my punishment.
:''[Vincent wakes to realize he’s transformed into Chaos; after the initial shock, he screams in horror; the screen goes black; Vincent is in the crystal cave; he looks up at Lucrecia, frozen in the crystal]''
:'''Vincent''': I... I saw you again. It was the place we first met. But you were... No, I’m the one to blame. I couldn’t stop you that day. I just—
:'''Lucrecia''': ''You must fight.''
:'''Vincent''': Lucrecia.
:''[screen goes black]''
:'''Lucrecia''': ''I’m so sorry.''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent wakes lying on a bench; he looks over at figure sitting opposite him wearing a hooded robe; figure waves]''
:'''Yuffie''': Morning.
:'''Vincent''': Where... Who are you?
:''[Yuffie stands and goes into 'heroic' pose]''
:'''Yuffie''':  Well, I'm glad you asked. I am the champion of the earth and the sky. I am the conqueror of evil. The single white rose of Wutai!
:''[Yuffie flings off her robe]''
:'''Yuffie''': Yuffie Kisaragi! ''[jumps onto bench]'' Feast your eyes on—
:''[loses her balance and falls backwards; knocks her head against a computer console]''
:'''Yuffie''': Owww! Ow!
:''[continues to wail while cradling her head; Vincent watches then looks up at ceiling, completely nonchalant]''
:'''Vincent''': So, where are we?
:'''Yuffie''': ''[slightly annoyed]'' Come on! Aren't you at least a ''little'' concerned?
:'''Vincent''': ''[looks back at her, voice still neutral]'' Oh, Yuffie... It's been a while... How's your head?
:'''Yuffie''': You-! Could you at least ''pretend'' to be sympathetic?
: ''[Vincent starts to sit up; he stops, clutching his chest and groans in pain; Yuffie leaps up, concerned]''
:'''Yuffie''': Ah, hey! Take it easy. That was a big hole you had in your chest.
:'''Vincent''': A hole in my chest?
:'''Yuffie''': Uh-huh. I seriously thought you were a goner, but then the wound healed itself right up. ''[spins a couple of times]'' You were always &quot;different&quot;, but I guess that's why you're still breathing.
:'''Vincent''': Yuffie, what are you doing here?
:'''Yuffie''': Me? I’m just helping out Reeve and his gang. I was poking around Nibelheim and I found you looking all corpselike in Shinra Manor. So I saved you!  Imagine that — me, saving the great–
:''[spins in place]''
:'''Yuffie''': -Vincent Valentine! Do I get any thanks? ''[laughs]''
:'''Vincent''': ''[chuckles, but completely serious]'' Thanks, Yuffie.
:''[Yuffie is caught off-guard; waves hands in front of her, flustered]''
:'''Yuffie''': No, no, whoa. I didn't mean for you to take me so seriously. A-anyway, Reeve wanted us to contact him as soon as you woke up.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[the screen is blank]''
:'''Reeve''': Vincent has come to? Excellent.
:''[A TV screen flickers on; Reeve is standing there]''
:'''Reeve''': I have good news. Using you-know-who, I was able to infiltrate Midgar. However, what I saw wasn't the prettiest of pictures. Omega. I should’ve known. We cannot let them sacrifice the lives of any more people. Once we’ve gathered our forces we’ll launch a full offensive. Of course we’ll require the help of you two as well. Please hurry back to headquarters. Oh, I’m analyzing the data files you sent earlier. I should have results soon. Tuesti out.
:''[screen goes blank]''
:'''Yuffie''': There you have it! I don't know what's going down, but it sounds big. I've been waiting a long time to get my hands on those Deepground punks. They've had their way long enough. Now it's time to give them a taste of pain a-la-Yuffie.
:''[mimes a few boxing moves]''
:'''Yuffie''': Just give me 3 minutes with those guys. No, make it 2. Well maybe 3...or 4... Well, it really depends on how many there are. But I think if there was 5, I could probably take them in 2...or 2 in 5, or 3 in 4...

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Shelke wakes in life support tank; ]''
:'''Shelke''': ''[narrating]'' Where am I?
:''[gets out; sees Shalua asleep at desk; stands beside her silently; picks up her weapon lying on the desk; Shalua wakes]''
:'''Shalua''': Shelke! ''[stands as Shelke backs away]'' How are you feeling?
:'''Shelke''': ''[powers up her weapons]'' You were a fool to let your enemy live. Now I’m going to kill you and return to Deepground.
:'''Shalua''': I don’t think so. I have to admit, I wasn’t myself back there. Seeing you for the first time in ten years left me in a spin. But I’ve had time to recover. And I’m not letting you get away. Not this time. There’s no way I’m going to let you kill me, and there’s no way I’m going to let you go back to Deepground.
:'''Shelke''': I don’t recall needing your permission to do anything.
:'''Shalua''': And I don’t remember ''you'' ever being able to win one of our fights. Do you? How about it? You wanna try your luck?

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[talking to screen]''
:'''Reeve''': Understood. You may begin mobilization.
:'''WRO Soldier''': Commissioner, we’re being—! ''[screams]''
:'''Reeve''': Officer?
:''[panicking WRO soldiers start calling in then are stopped]''
:'''Reeve''': Deepground?!
:''[whirls to see Deepground solder pointing weapon at him; the solder fires and the screen goes black]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Shalua and Shelke are still at standoff; voice comes through loudspeakers]''
:'''Loudspeaker''': Emergency. Emergency.
:'''Shalua''': They’re back? Why?
:'''Loudspeaker''': All Squabble Squads report to stations. All others proceed to the underground barracks. Emergency. Emergency.
:'''Shelke''': They were waiting for Azul.
:'''Shalua''': Azul?
:'''Shelke''': His death was merely a prologue to the true terror.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent and Yuffie are in the Shadowfox interior]''
:'''WRO Soldier''': We’ll be arriving shortly. What the hell!?
:''[the vehicle jerks; Yuffie flies out of her seat]''
:'''Yuffie''': Ahh!
:''[she rolls to the back and hits her head; Vincent leaps out vehicle and battles the enemies outside]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent walks into WRO headquarters; voices are blaring over loudspeakers]''
:'''WRO Soldier 1''': This is Headquarters! We need backup now!
:''[someone screams in background and goes silent]''
:'''WRO Soldier 2''': Get away!
:'''WRO Soldier 1''': What is that thing!?
:''[both soldiers cry out and go silent; Vincent runs deeper into building]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Soldiers are shooting at monster; soldier is thrown across hall and hits the others]''
:'''Vincent''': ''[sees the monster]'' What the hell…?
:'''Shalua''': Azul.
:''[Vincent looks over and sees Shalua and Shelke; Azul attacks; Vincent and Shalua attack it; Azul hits Shalua’s robotic arm; she crumples to the ground, gasping in pain]''
:'''Vincent''': Shalua!
:''[Vincent runs towards her only to be smashed aside by Azul; Shelke watches impassively until Azul hits her; shocked, she pulls out materia that halts Azul’s attacks and transforms him back]''
:'''Shelke''': The extreme potency of this shield materia is comparable to that of your barrier field, Azul.
:'''Azul''': Shelke, why do you stand in my way?
:'''Shelke''': I had to protect myself. You were trying to kill me.
:'''Azul''': Then now is the time.
:''[Azul swings at Shelke; she leaps back, shocked]''
:'''Azul''': You’re no longer required.
:'''Shelke''': No longer…?
:'''Azul''': You’re no different from the others. Your weak body is nothing without Mako. Your only skill is collecting data from inside a virtual reality. It makes me sick to even think of you as a member of the Tsviets! Weiss has ordered your termination.
:'''Shelke''': &quot;Weiss?!&quot;
:'''Azul''': Your mission was to identify and locate the keeper of the Protomateria. That is why we uploaded the doctor's data into your neural network. But now we no longer need it. And we cannot let it fall into the hands of the WRO. Your fate has been decided, Shelke. It is time for you to return to the planet.
:''[Azul starts to walk towards Shelke; she pulls out her materia and halts Azul; Shalua suddenly grabs her hand]''
:'''Shalua''': Vincent! Shelke! Let’s get out of here!
:''[Shalua runs towards door and opens it; Vincent runs in ahead as Shalua tries to pull struggling Shelke with her]''
:'''Shalua''': Come on.
:'''Shelke''': ''[tugging at her arm]'' Let go of me!
:'''Shalua''': I don't think so. We have ten years to catch up on. I'm not gonna let this end here...
:''[suddenly the 'blast' doors start to shut; Shalua gasps and Vincent runs towards them]''
:'''Vincent''': Shalua!
:''[Shalua barely manages to wedge her robotic arm between doors; Vincent tries to pry the doors open; Shalua’s arm starts to crack; she groans]''
:'''Shelke''' Why are you doing this?
:'''Shalua''': ...You can still get through.
:'''Shelke''': Huh?
:'''Shalua''': Go on.
:''[pushes Shelke through]''
:'''Shalua''': Shelke...
:''[false arm starts to break under the pressure; doors slowly closing as Azul approaches from behind]''
:'''Shalua''': I'm sorry I let you suffer... for so long. Vincent... take care of her, will you?
:''[Vincent still trying to pry doors open]''
:'''Vincent''': Wait!
:'''Shalua''': Shelke... I'm glad I was able to find you. And remember, I'll always love you.
:''[arm finally crushes as the doors close; Vincent pounds his fists once against the door in frustration]''
:'''Shelke''': Why?...
:''[a loud bang from the other side of the doors shakes everything; fluid seeps under the doors]''
:'''Shelke''': Why did she... Why? ''[looks down]'' ...Shalua...
:''[Azul bangs against the doors again; Vincent grabs Shelke's arm and pulls her down corridor]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Reeve is sitting amongst the wreckage of his headquarters; he looks up as Vincent approaches]''
:'''Reeve''': I’m so ashamed. I’m supposed to be a hero of the Jenova war. But look at me.
:'''Vincent''': Don’t take all the blame. Reeve.
:'''Reeve''': Huh?
:'''Vincent''': You’re not thinking of giving up, are you?
:''[Reeve looks down; Vincent crouches down next to him]''
:'''Vincent''': I used to be nothing but a stone in the river of time. But three years ago, it was you and the others who taught me I had to move ahead.
:'''Reeve''': Vincent...

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent enters the room where Yuffie is sitting on a computer desk; they both look at Shalua's lifeless body in a container]''
:'''Yuffie''': They... they say she won't wake up. She suffered too much trauma to her head. Unless there's some kind of a miracle, she... she's not...
:''[Yuffie pounds desk]''
:'''Yuffie''': Vincent! You were there! Why couldn't you save her?
:'''Vincent''': ''[looks down]'' I'm sorry.
:'''Yuffie''': No... I didn't mean to...
:''[Shelke enters the room and looks at Shalua]''
:'''Shelke''': She was a fool.
:''[Yuffie gets up and slaps Shelke across face; Shelke doesn’t move]''
:'''Yuffie''': You have no right to call her that! You don't know...! You don't know what...!
:''[Vincent grips Yuffie’s shoulder and pulls her away from Shelke; Yuffie stops]''
:'''Shelke''': Why...? Why would she do something so...?
:''[almost about to cry, Yuffie races out room]''
:'''Vincent''': Before, when I asked Shalua what she was searching for, she answered ‘her reason to live.’ It was you, Shelke... You were her reason to live.
:'''Shelke''': So? I don't understand... how someone could give her own life for that of another. Do you understand, Vincent Valentine?
:''[Vincent turns away]''
:'''Vincent''': Hm. I can't answer for your sister. But...
:'''Shelke''': But?
:'''Vincent''': When a person has someone they care about that much, giving their life is sometimes the least they can do. And maybe that's what makes us human.
:'''Shelke''': Someone they care about...
:'''Vincent''': Although, ''[turns]'' It seems like there are a lot of people around me who don't need a reason to risk their lives for that of another.
:'''Shelke''': ''[walking forwards]'' And are you...
:''[Shelke stumbles, almost falls to the floor; Vincent catches her and holds her shoulders; her head whips up; she stares up at him; screen goes into flashback]''
:'''Lucrecia''': —cent?...Vincent? Vincent!
:''[Past Vincent wakes up under tree with Lucrecia looking down at him]''
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[playfully]'' Fall asleep here, and you might catch a cold.
:''[Vincent starts up guiltily]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Why are you so surprised? Is my face ''that'' hideous?
:'''Vincent''': ''[flustered]'' No, I didn’t… I’m sorry.
:'''Lucrecia''': And how are you supposed to be my bodyguard if you’re up here sleeping?
:'''Vincent''': Uh... the warm breeze... I was only going to rest my eyes for a minute.
:'''Lucrecia''': Hmm? Well, I have to admit, the breeze is quiet comfortable. However, I think you’re in my seat.
:'''Vincent''': Huh?
:''[Lucrecia pulls picnic basket from behind her back]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Care to join me?
:''[screen goes white; Vincent’s still holding Shelke’s shoulders; she backs away]''
:'''Shelke''': I’m sorry...
:''[turns away and walks a few steps and pauses]''
:'''Shelke''': Why are her data fragments... responding?
:''[door opens and Reeve walks in]''
:'''Reeve''': Vincent.
:''[Vincent looks away from Shelke to Reeve]''
:'''Reeve''': I agree with you. This is not the time for us to give up. But I need to know something; those data files you recovered from Shinra Manor... are you sure there were not any more?
:'''Vincent''': I’m sure.
:'''Reeve''': I see.
:'''Vincent''': What’s wrong?
:'''Reeve''': Well... the Omega Report... the file was incomplete. To make any sense out of it we’ll going to require the other half. If possible I wanted to know more about our foe before we launched the attack on Midgar.
:'''Shelke''': ''[turns slowly]'' Are you speaking of Dr. Lucrecia Crescent's findings?
:'''Reeve''': Yes. But how did you...?
:'''Shelke''': A large quantity of her mnemonic data fragments has been uploaded into my neural network. It was my prime directive to use this data to locate and retrieve the Protomateria. However, not only was the data incomplete, but part of her consciousness began interfering with my own thought processes. It was believed that the missing fragments may have been the reason for this. I can attempt to upload the WRO's files on the Omega Report. By combining it with the data I possess, you may obtain a clearer picture of what you will be up against. And perhaps I can regain control of my mind.
:''[Vincent and Reeve look at each other; Yuffie’s voice comes over loudspeaker]''
:'''Yuffie''': Vincent, Reeve! You’d better get out here!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent and Reeve walk outside and join Yuffie; Yuffie starts jumping up and down and waving her arms at sky]''
:'''Yuffie''': Ciiiiiiid! Hey! Over here!
:''[Cid lands with a whole fleet of ships with him]''
:'''Yuffie''': Wow!
:''[inside ship]''
:'''Cid''': Hah! What the hell we waitin’ for? It’s time to get up and go! Come on, get on board! Heheh!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[inside Cid’s airship; crew member are running the ship; in main hanger]''
:'''Crew Member''': Forward visibility approximately 95%.
:'''Crew Member''': Communications channels clear!
:'''Crew Member''': Radar, functioning normal.
:'''Crew Member''': Network terminals online.
:''[in the engine room]''
:'''Crew Member''': G 9 friction levels are up to 0.024.
:'''Crew Member''': Operating the lower valves!
:'''Crew Member''': Main propeller at 80%.
:'''Crew Member''': Propeller speed at 0.3%!
:''[Vincent boards; Cid sees him from helm and steps away from steering wheel]''
:'''Cid''': Heh-hey, Vincent! Long time!
:'''Crew Member''': ''[yelps]'' Captain!
:'''Cid''': ''[seizes steering wheel]'' Whoa, sorry ‘bout that. As much as I’d like to sit down and reminisce ‘bout old times, you’ll have to take a rain check. Why don’t you have a look around my bird until the meeting?

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent’s inside Cid’s airship in the room they placed the container holding Shalua; Shelke’s typing on the computer]''
:'''Shelke''': After the assault begins the headquarters facilities will no longer be available.” ''[looks over at Shalua]'' And to think, just a few days ago I was the one in there. ''[turns back to computer]'' No, forget I said anything.
:'''Vincent''': What are you working on?
:'''Shelke''': I’m in the process of modifying this equipment so I can perform an SND, a Synaptic Net Dive.
:'''Vincent''': Synaptic Net Dive?
:'''Shelke''': My specialty within the Tsviets. While retaining consciousness, I project an image of myself into a virtual reality called a network. I can also use this ability to negotiate with data on the subconscious plane of sentient life forms. However, this often involves a great risk to my own sanity. For Shinra, the success of the SND project was crucial for their next step in…
:''[Shelke pauses, and turns to Vincent]''
:'''Shelke''': I’m sorry. I seemed to have gotten off track. Simply put, I’m creating a personal network terminal within the airship’s main control console ''[notices Vincent’s looking at the floor]'' What?
:'''Vincent''': Nothing. You just remind me of your sister.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[in the main hanger of Cid’s airship]''
:'''Cid''': Alright, our old buddies and the remaining WRO squads will lead the ground assault.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[a lone truck is driving through the Wastelands. Barret’s driving; Tifa’s in passenger seat; she picks up radio]''
:'''Tifa''': I see it!
:''[the back of the truck opens; Cloud is on his motorbike; he puts his sunglasses on]''
:'''Cloud''': Time to go, Fenrir.
:''[he drives out the back of truck and races ahead]''
:'''Barret''': All right!
:'''Tifa''': Yeah!
:''[panshot shows many more trucks following]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[in main hanger of Cid’s airship; Yuffie’s holding ice pack to her head because of her motion sickness]''
:'''Yuffie''': ...while we launch our attack from the air.
:'''Cid''': Right. So Reeve... you ready?
:'''Reeve''': Yes.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Cait Sith is in the room with Shelke]''
:'''Cait Sith''': Alright, take it away, Shelke!
:''[Shelke places a helmet connecting to a machine on her head and lays back]''
:'''Shelke''': Very well. Data fragment link, successful. Commencing Synaptic Net Dive in three... two... one...
:''[Shelke jerks and the screen goes black]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Cid, Reeve, Yuffie and Vincent are all in the main hanger when everything goes black; the globe in the middle of the room starts to glow]''
:'''Yuffie''': Wow!
:''[Suddenly it throws the hologram of stars out, so now the group is surrounded by a galaxy]''
:'''Cid''': What the... are we in...?
:'''Yuffie''': What... what...!
:''[Lucrecia’s voice echoes around them]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Just as we return to the planet when our lifelight has faded, the planet returns to the cosmos when her time has come.
:''[galaxies whip past them]''
:'''Yuffie''': Wow!
:'''Lucrecia''': Anything that has definite shape will one day cease to exist. The same is true for this world.
:''[shows the planet burning]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Before she takes her final breath, the pure Lifestreams that flow freely beneath her crust will be brought together into one by Omega— the ultimate lifeform.
:''[shows the Lifestream gathering above the planet]''
:'''Lucrecia''': His purpose: to gather all life, sentient and non, and lead it into the sea of stars where it will embark on a fabulous journey along a road untraveled.
:''[the Lifestream zooms away into the galaxy]''
:'''Lucrecia''': However, when Omega has lifted the life from this planet, all that will remain will be an empty shell destined to die silently in the limitless void of space.
:''[shows the planet cracking slowly and drifting apart]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent’s leaning against wall; suddenly in loudspeakers he hears Lucrecia’s voice, which turns into Shelke’s]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Omega is—
:'''Shelke''': –the same type of life form as the Weapons we encountered three years ago. The planet gave birth to these creatures to protect itself just as the planet will ultimately give birth to the final Weapon, Omega, when the end of the world is imminent. In essence, Omega is an elaborate safety mechanism designed solely to maintain and protect the flow of life. Normally, Omega poses no threat to us. It only manifests when the planet has detected something that may cause her danger.
:'''Reeve''': However, Deepground is attempting to awaken the beast early. Thus the kidnappings.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Reeve''': By slaughtering thousands of innocent souls, they are creating a pure Lifestream in order to trick the planet into thinking the end is near.
:'''Cid''': Yah!! Why those conniving...! I don't know what this Weiss character is tryin', but he's crazy if he thinks we're gonna let him get away with it!
:'''Reeve''': Right. Omega is being revived deep beneath Midgar, in Mako Reactor 0. To increase the output of Reactor 0, all the other reactors have been tied into its mainframe. Our objective is to destroy 1 through 8 and slow the reanimation process. Mission details for each squad will be relayed separately.
:'''Cid''': Alright, we still got some time before the big show. You got anythin’ needs tendin' to, do it.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Cid''': ''[debriefing Vincent]'' Vince, don't worry about the reactors. We'll take care of them. You work on those four wackos. I don't like lettin’ you have all the fun, but you know I can't leave my baby here alone. Cloud and the others will be shuttin’ down the power, and there's no way we're lettin' Yuffie go down there by herself. Sorry buddy. Looks like from here on out its Vince versus the Tsviets.
:''[claps Vincent on shoulder]''
:'''Cid''': We’re counting on ya, old pal.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is talking with Reeve]''
:'''Vincent''': So, no costume today?
:'''Reeve''': ''[laughs]'' Headquarters was pretty much destroyed by the Deepground forces. But I was able to salvage a few things.
:''[Cait Sith patters up]''
:'''Cait Sith''': Number 6, ready for action!
:''[optional dialogue]''
:'''Vincent''': ''[speaking to Cait Sith]'' Tell me, Reeve.
:'''Cait Sith''': ''[tilts head]'' Huh?
:'''Vincent''': Who’s backing your operation?
:'''Cait Sith''': Ohh, that.
:''[Cait Sith jumps up on seat and sits; Reeve laughs]''
:'''Reeve''': Actually, I’m not sure. I’ve only met with... a representative. However, the WRO is crucial to this planet’s survival. I’m not concerned with the reasons this person has for helping us as long as he continues writing the checks. Though, I have a feeling it is probably someone who believes he is in debt to the planet.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is in room with Shelke, who is still reclining on the chair where she preformed the SND]''
:'''Shelke''': So... tired. Vincent Valentine?
:'''Vincent''': What?
:'''Shelke''': This feeling... is this what you meant... by doing something for someone... you care about?
:'''Vincent''': Hmh. It seems so.
:'''Shelke''': ''[drowsily]'' Dr. Crescent’s data has begun defragmenting within my mind. I can see many different images. Images she experienced with you. Interference... Recovery... So... so tired...
:''[falls asleep]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent’s walking down corridor when he jerks to a stop in pain]''
:'''Vincent''': Gah!
:''[his vision blurs and goes red as he transforms; he flail wildly and claws groove mark into wall; door ahead of him opens; two WRO soldiers are passing by chatting; he starts to approach them as they walk past without noticing him]''
:'''1 WRO Soldier''': But are you worried about the assault?
:'''2 WRO Soldier''': No way! We’ll be ok, we always are, right?
:'''Lucrecia''': Vincent!
:''[Vincent whirls and sees Lucrecia in the passage behind him; he moves towards her and reaches an arm out; he returns to normal as Lucrecia fades; Vincent stares at place where Lucrecia was]''
:'''Vincent''': What’s happening?
:''[looks down at his hands]''
:'''Vincent''': A dream?
:''[spots the claw marks he made; starts back, shocked, then another bout of pain hits him and he falls on all fours, gasping]''
:'''Vincent''': Am I loosing... control?
:''[panshot shows Shelke watching him from behind; she walks away]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Cid''': Ok, dogs, it’s time! All hands to battle stations!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Azul, Rosso and Nero are watching the assault close in]''
:'''Azul''': A simultaneous attack from land and air. Hmph. I think they may be serious this time.
:'''Rosso''': They had better be! I’ve been so bored lately.
:'''Nero''': His awakening is near. Let tonight be the final chapter.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Cid yells over loudspeaker as WRO soldiers and Yuffie get ready]''
:'''Cid''': Listen up, cause I'm only gonna say this once. If any more of you are killed by those punks, I'll drag you back from Hell and kill you again! You really wanna piss off those S-O-Bs, then why not try staying alive! That's what this war's all about! If you live, everybody behind you lives. If you die, they die! You got that? Now go kick some Deepground-ass!
:'''Yuffie''': ''[along with the other guys in the hanger]'' Yeah!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Shelke walks up to Vincent and Reeve]''
:'''Shelke''': Vincent Valentine.
:''[Shelke hands Vincent a phone]''
:'''Vincent''': What’s this?
:'''Shelke''': Your phone. I retrieved it in Kalm. I modified it slightly. Just dial # VIN to contact my personal terminal directly. From this workstation, I can perform a Synaptic Net Dive into almost any network system in Midgar. I may also be able to help guide you into Deepground.
:''[Vincent and Reeve glance at each other; Shelke notices]''
:'''Shelke''': It’s not what you think. By monitoring your movement, Dr. Crescent’s data fragments are restored within me. ''[defensively]'' I’m simply providing a service for my own benefit.
:'''Vincent''': I didn’t say anything.
:'''Shelke''': ''[is now flustered]'' I, uh… anyway, my resources here are limited. Do not expect too much.
:'''Vincent''': Hmh. I’m counting on you Shelke.
:'''Shelke''': Uh... I... it’s just... I’ve never actually been... counted on by anyone before. ''[recovers; hurriedly]'' Uh—uh, never mind.
:'''Reeve''': Well then, can I ‘count on’ you to keep an eye on the airship while we’re away, as well?
:'''Shelke''': Huh?
:'''Reeve''': I have already witnessed your strength and skill once. This is war, and we have to be ready for anything. Your assistance would be of great help.
:'''Shelke''': My assistance?
:'''Reeve''': Exactly.
:'''WRO Soldier''': Commissioner!
:'''Reeve''': Ah. Excuse me. Vincent, I will see you again before deployment. And Shelke, remember, I’m counting on you.
:''[Reeve runs off; Vincent nods at Shelke before leaving also]''
:'''Shelke''': Fighting for... ''[shakes head]'' No. I have no one... no one to fight for. No one at all.
:''[Shelke walks away]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Cid''': This is it! Go!
:''[ships converge upon Midgar as Deepground horde floods out to meet them; both side fire on each other; shows the hatch on Cid’s airship opening and Vincent, Yuffie and soldiers’ silhouettes]''
:'''Loudspeakers''': Hatch open. Prepare for drop.
:''[switches to scene of Shelke jumping on chair and pulling SND helmet down on head; switches back to opened hatch]''
:'''Yuffie''': See you boys later!
:''[first group slides out ship and zooms towards ground on flying skateboard-looking things]''
:'''Yuffie''': Who-hoo!! Going down!
:''[switches to scene of Shelke in helmet]''
:'''Shelke''': Advance squad away; secondary squad, prepare for drop.
:''[switches to scene of trucks zooming towards Midgar; Cloud’s bike is zipping ahead; shows Barret and Tifa in cab of leading truck]''
:'''Tifa''': Barret!
:'''Barret''': Yo!
:''[launches missiles from truck; Cloud zooms ahead on bike; Rosso suddenly attacks him and they both start to battle; Azul grins at sky and fires missile at an airship, which collides with Cid’s]''
:'''Cid''': What the—!
:''[Vincent and second squad team drop out as issuing explosion rocks ship; Vincent glances back at the Shera before zooming downward; switches to Shelke]''
:'''Shelke''': Transmission with bay 9 lost. Damage to the Shera minimal.
:'''Cid''': Damn! They're gonna pay for that!
:''[issuing scene shows Vincent fighting his way downward; he temporarily loses control of his craft several times before making a rough landing]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is walking through sounds of battle when his cell phone rings; he picks up]''
:'''Shelke''': ''[sighs]'' What do you think you’re doing? You have landed several clicks off your target destination. However, considering the location of the enemy, this could work to your advantage. Head for the central complex and locate a means of reaching the top level. You will only be able to enter Deepground from the upper platform. I’ll contact you again. Shelke out.
:''[Shelke hangs up]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[groups of soldiers sees Vincent]''
:'''WRO Soldier''': Mr. Valentine! We... we missed our landing point. This looks like the old Sector 7’s slums. The train graveyard.
:'''Vincent''': Yes, it does.
:'''WRO Soldier''': Sir! I’ve received a radio transmission reporting the remaining air squads have reached the upper level plates and joined the ground forces.
:'''Vincent''': Fine.
:''[Vincent starts walking off]''
:'''WRO Soldier''': Uh… sir?
:''[Vincent pauses and halfway turns]''
:'''WRO Soldier''': Uh… requesting permission to accompany you until we reach the complex.
:'''Vincent''': Do as you wish.
:'''WRO Soldier''': Sir! Thank you, sir!
:''[soldiers run after Vincent]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent bumps into soldier cowering behind crate]''
:'''WRO Soldier''': Ah, eh, I… I was j-just taking a breather!
:''[Vincent eyes him before walking off; soldier leaps up]''
:'''WRO Soldier''': Sir, let me join you!
:''[Vincent pauses and looks back at him]''
:'''Vincent''': Just don’t get in my way.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''WRO Soldier''': ''[to Vincent]'' You know, I was born in Midgar. My brother and I used to play here all the time. My mom didn’t approve, though. After she died, my brother joined a Shinra resistance group, but was killed when the plate fell. I can’t believe this place is still here.
:''[soldier runs up]''
:'''2 WRO Soldier''': Lieutenant! Soldiers!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[WRO soldiers spot their commander and run towards him]''
:'''WRO Soldiers''': Commander!
:''[…]''
:'''WRO Commander''': Vincent Valentine, thank you for your assistance! ''[salutes]''
:''[…]''
:'''WRO Commander''': To reach the central complex, you must proceed through this maze of decommissioned train cars. However, I have received reports that beyond the graveyard are some of the enemy’s most powerful defenses.
:'''Vincent''': Alright. I’ll see what I can do.
:''[starts walking off]''
:'''WRO Commander''': Wait! I can’t let you go without backup—
:'''Vincent''': No. You heard what Cid said. Your job is to live. If you come with me, chances are you’ll all die.
:'''WRO Commander''': ...Understood. I’ll remain here until the current situation has improved. ''[salutes]'' Good luck, sir.
:'''WRO Soldiers''': Sir!

 &lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[soldier sitting on ground whips gun up until he sees it’s Vincent]''
:'''WRO Soldier''': Vincent Valentine.
:''[camera fades out, then fades back in]''
:'''Vincent''': There’s no way out of here?
:'''WRO Soldier''': None. I looked all over but found nothing. It looks like we’re both stuck in here.
:''[Vincent pulls phone out and dials]''
:'''Vincent''': Shelke.
:'''Shelke''': Vincent Valentine.
:''[camera fades out, then fades back in]''
:'''Shelke''': The only way out of the graveyard is through a nearby underground passage.
:'''Vincent''': Where?
:'''Shelke''': I’m uploading the location now.
:''[camera fades out, then fades back in]''
:'''Shelke''': Also, up ahead, Deepground has established a heavy line of defense. You probably won’t even break a sweat- but I thought I would let you know.
:''[Shelke hangs up]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent’s phone rings; he picks up]''
:'''Shelke''': Vincent Valentine. You’ve reached the central complex. Proceed up to reach the plate surface.
:''[Shelke gasps]''
:'''Vincent''': What’s wrong?
:'''Shelke''': The approaching Deepground squa- No, it's nothing. I'll contact you agai—
:''[Deepground troops with jetpacks fly in]''
:'''Shelke''': Ariel troopers. Good luck, Vincent.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Rosso''': Ahh. Still alive, I see. And you call yourself human.
:'''Vincent''': More human than you.
:'''Rosso''': More human than I? ''[throws head back and laughs]'' Tell me something I don't already know, darling. I'm a Tsviet! I traded in my human weaknesses for power long ago. It is the path I've chosen. And the path I'll tread. Until I've sucked all life from this pitiful world! And I'm not going to let you get in the way. You've lived long enough, Vincent Valentine. And I'll make sure you don't come back this time... by slicing you into pieces!
:''[…]''
:'''Rosso''': Do you know why they call me the Crimson, darling? Let me show you!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[after Vincent defeats Rosso; she’s lying on the floor, gasping in pain; she starts to rise, seeing Vincent through red blurred eyes]''
:'''Rosso''': Someone…. stronger… than… than…! A… ah… absurd! ''[shouts]'' Absurd!... Our time here together is done. But the mighty Azul waits.
:''[turns and runs towards edge of platform; turns]''
:'''Rosso''': I will not grant you the pleasure of killing Rosso the Crimson! No one will ever stand above me!
:''[throws a beam of light that cuts stone holding edge to platform]''
:'''Rosso''': No one!
:''[cuts it twice more as she shouts]''
:'''Rosso''': No one! No one!
:''[edge starts to fall away from platform; Rosso throws her head back and laughs as she falls out of sight]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent’s phone rings; he answers]''
:'''Shelke''': Vincent Valentine.
:'''Shelke''': The ground squads have not been able to penetrate the Deepground defenses. The Mako Reactors are still operating at full capacity.
:'''Vincent''': So it seems.
:'''Shelke''': What’s your location?
:'''Vincent''': Shinra Building. Or what remains of it.
:''[shows the building on fire in several places]''
:'''Shelke''': The same as it was three years ago, though after Meteor fall, there wasn’t much left of Midgar at all. With the exception of Deepground. The passage to Deepground should be located within Shinra Building. Search for the president’s personal entrance.
:'''Vincent''': Alright.
:''[Vincent gasps as a bout of pain hits him; his vision wavers and the screen goes black; noises like a snarling beast sound; shows Vincent on his knees; Shelke’s voice comes from phone on ground]''
:'''Shelke''': Is something wrong?
:''[a Deepground creature tries to attack him from behind; Vincent kills it with one blow without turning and slowly stands; he suddenly roars at sky as his eyes glow]''
:'''Shelke''': Vincent!
:''[screen goes black, then shows Vincent breathing hard and staring wildly at hands, starting to panic]''
:'''Vincent''': What’s going on!? Why is Chaos...? Why... why now?
:'''Shelke''': ''[sighs]'' You really don’t know, do you. The Protomateria helped you control Chaos. Now that you’ve lost it your mental state has become extremely unstable.
:'''Vincent''': Protomateria? Control Chaos?
:'''Shelke''': Yes. If you recall, you had it extracted from your chest by Rosso.
:''[Vincent looks down at his chest; Shelke is silent for a moment, then starts to speak, but with Lucrecia’s voice]''
:'''Shelke''': Chaos. While a part of you, the entity exists independently from the rest of your body.
:'''Vincent''': Shelke?
:'''Shelke''': Chaos. The harbring of anarchy.
:''[Vincent whirls to see a transparent Lucrecia behind him]''
:'''Vincent''': Lucrecia!
:''[Lucrecia slowly starts to approach him, her and Shelke’s voices speaking together]''
:'''Shelke and Lucrecia''': Born before the planet dies, he shall gather together all life ''[goes to Lucrecia’s voice only]'' for Omega's journey to the sea of stars. ''[goes to Shelke’s voice only]'' That is Chaos. ''[goes to Lucrecia’s voice]'' And he slumbers ''[both voices]'' inside you.
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[both voices melding]'' I’m so sorry. You must fight him! I don’t want you to die!
:''[Lucrecia vanishes]''
:'''Vincent''': Lucrecia!
:''[switches back to Shelke]''
:'''Shelke''': You must fight him! I don’t want you to die!
:''[her helmet starts to sputter and sizzle; she sits up; alarms go off in the Shera; she gets up]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Cid''': Hey, engine room! What the hell’s going on down there!? Engine room! Damn it.
:'''Shelke''': ''[walks in]'' What is wrong?
:'''Cid''': Don’t have a damn clue. All of a sudden engine levels began droppin’ like crazy! We haven’t taken any direct hits so everything should be workin’ like clockwork!
:'''Shelke''': I will go have a look.
:'''Cid''': Thanks! I’m countin’ on ya.
:''[Shelke is silent for a moment, and then she runs off]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Shelke runs down to engine room and stops as she sees it on fire without anyone there]''
:'''Shelke''': It can’t be...
:'''Nero''': ''[from behind her]'' Fancy meeting you here, Shelke.
:'''Shelke''': ''[turns]'' You.
:'''Nero''': Quite unexpected.
:'''Shelke''': Why did you come here, Nero?
:'''Nero''': Why..? I was— short a few souls and came to collect.
:'''Shelke''': What did you do with the crew?
:'''Nero''': ''[chuckles]'' Need you ask? Look around; my mission is complete.
:'''Shelke''': Oh.
:''[looks over and sees a Cait Sith lying on the ground; pulls out her weapons]''
:'''Nero''': And what do we think we are doing?
:'''Shelke''': I... I don't really know. However, since coming here I have realized one thing. I don't want to let down anyone who's counting on me.
:'''Nero''': ''[long pause]'' Pure nonsense.
:'''Shelke''': Nonsense? Perhaps.
:''[Shelke powers her blades up and attacks; the two battle]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent tries calling Shelke but can't reach her; almost instantly after he hangs up his phone rings; he answers; battle sounds come through]''
:'''Tifa''': Hey, I got through!
:'''Vincent''': Tifa?
:''[Barret bellows loud enough for Vincent to hold phone away from ear]''
:'''Barret''': What? You got through? Yo-ho-ho! Vincent! You still alive?
:'''Tifa''': Of course he is, we're talking to him, aren't we? And do you really have to shout right next to my ear?
:''[Barret laughs; Vincent flinches from phone again]''
:'''Barret''': Sorry 'bout that, Tifa.
:'''Tifa''': I apologize, Vincent. Here's Cloud.
:'''Cloud''': Vincent?
:'''Vincent''': Cloud. It's been a while.
:''[camera fades out, then fades back in]''
:'''Vincent''': Cid's airship?
:'''Cloud''': We lost contact about 15 minutes ago. I don't think we have to worry, though.
:''[sword clanging in the background]''
:'''Cloud Strife''': Those two should be fine.
:''[more sword clanging]''
:'''Vincent''': Yeah. And what about you?
:'''Cloud''': ''[half laughs]'' What do you think?
:'''Tifa''': Right! You can count on us!
:'''Barret''': ''[once again loud enough for Vincent to hold phone away from ear]'' When I'm through, there won't be a single sucka standing!
:'''Vincent''': ''[gives a small laugh]'' Right.
:'''Cloud''': And as for you—?
:'''Vincent''': Don’t worry. Leave Deepground to me.
:'''Cloud''': Can you hold on a second? Tifa.
:'''Tifa''': Got it! Vincent, I’m sending you a map of the Shinra Building. Deepground is below the complex. Take an elevator as far down as you can. Good lu—
:'''Barret''': ''[shouting]'' Give 'em hell, Vincent!
:'''Tifa''': Barret, I thought I told you to...!
:'''Cloud''': Don’t go getting yourself killed, now.
:''[they hang up; Vincent closes phone and walks to elevator]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent walks into room where Azul is waiting for him]''
:'''Azul''': So... Rosso didn’t survive.
:''[the air around Vincent flares]''
:'''Azul''': Ohh. Something inside you wants out. Its stench is so very familiar. ''[laughs]'' Come, Vincent! Show me your rage! Now... let the killing begin!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Azul''': ''[laughs]'' This is how a battle should be. Don’t you think so?
:''[pain hits Vincent; he grunts and holds shoulder]''
:'''Azul''': Now... feel my true strength. Feel the wrath of Azul the Cerulean!!
:''[turns into beast]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is walking away from Azul thinking he killed him; suddenly Azul flashes up and charges Vincent, still in beast form; he swings at Vincent, smashing him into wall]''
:'''Azul''': ''[roars]'' Stand. Stand! This isn’t over yet.
:''[Vincent struggles to his feet, then disappears; he reappears beneath Azul and slams his fist into him; Azul erupts into light and returns to his form; Vincent is now in Chaos form]''
:'''Azul''': Chaos.
:''[Vincent/Chaos seizes Azul’s gun and throws it at him, impaling him]''
:'''Azul''': It looks... like you were... more beast... than I. Very well. I’ll see you again, Vincent, in hell.
:''[Vincent/Chaos shoots a beam that throws Azul of edge]''
:'''Azul''': ''[as he’s falling]'' Hail… Weiss! ''[laughs maniacally]''
:''[Vincent/Chaos roars and fumes around; Nero is watching from above out of sight]''
:'''Nero''': So that is Chaos. Intriguing. Soul wrote of terra corrupt. Perhaps I should simply let him live out his destiny of destruction.
:''[Nero disappears but drops a cell phone on the ground; Vincent/Chaos turns and looks at it]''
:'''Lucrecia’s voice''': I’m so sorry.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[flashback; Lucrecia is looking at Past Vincent in a life support tank]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Vincent. Just a little longer. Then I can let you out.
:''[Lucrecia turns but collapses on the ground]''
:'''Lucrecia''': What’s… wrong with me lately… Maybe I’ve been working too hard.
:'''Hojo''': ''[is suddenly in room]'' Hah! I thought I heard a rat down here. And just what do you think you’re doing with my failed experiment?
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[stands and shouts]'' Get out of my lab!
:'''Hojo''': Silence! I’m the one giving orders here!
:''[notices something on Lucrecia’s computer; starts walking towards it, but Lucrecia stands in the way]''
:'''Hojo''': Ahh. Ah ha ha ha ha, Omega? And... Chaos?
:''[looks back at Vincent and starts laughing]''
:'''Hojo''': I see. Another experiment!
:''[Lucrecia gasps, shocked]''
:'''Hojo''': You’re using this fine specimen to finish your thesis, aren’t you, doctor?
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[horrified]'' No! You’re wrong!
:'''Hojo''': Am I? Once a scientist, always a scientist, I must say. How happy this fellow must be, helping his beloved! Even after he’s begun rotting away!
:''[Hojo leaves, laughing uproariously; Lucrecia hides her face in her hands, crying]''
:'''Lucrecia''': No! This is no experiment! It’s—it’s…

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is lying on his back on the floor]''
:'''Vincent''': Chaos. Lucrecia used me to... Lucrecia... So... this pain is...
:''[notices phone and starts to rise; he picks phone up]''
:'''Vincent''': Shelke.
:''[elevator comes to a halt; Vincent starts walking towards doors]''
:'''Vincent''': Deepground. Shinra’s dark secret. Three years of hell below. Now... a world of hell above. The path to darkness opens once more.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is walking when suddenly darkness wells up behind him; Vincent turns and notices it]''
:'''Vincent''': Huh?
:''[makes a dash for it but the darkness engulfs him; he struggles but is overwhelmed; a light suddenly shines through, along with a voice]''
:'''Lucrecia''': No. Don't let Chaos control you. You cannot be contained by this darkness because a part of you was born in it. Find yourself. Regain control.
:''[Vincent stands and manages to get out of darkness]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Shelke is huddled under her shield, trapped in the darkness]''
:'''Shelke''': ''[to herself about Vincent]'' As old as he is and still acting like a helpless child. I can see why Lucrecia had such a difficult time.
:''[her shield starts to crack]''
:'''Shelke''': I don’t know why I’m doing this. I will die when my magic runs out anyway.
:'''Lucrecia’s voice''': Is this...?
:''[Shelke looks up; scene changes to Lucrecia in crystal cave with Grimoire Valentine]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Is this the place you spoke of?
:'''Grimoire Valentine''': Yes. Deep within this grotto is where Chaos is destined to awake.
:''[Lucrecia runs forward with an excited laugh]''
:'''Grimoire Valentine''': ''[laughs]'' W-wait!
:'''Lucrecia''': Come on, Dr. Valentine!
:'''Grimoire Valentine''': ''[laughs again]'' The fountain isn’t going anywhere.
:''[switches to scene of them both in Lucrecia’s lab; Lucrecia is feverishly typing on computer]''
:'''Grimoire Valentine''': Don’t you think you’re taking things a little too quickly?
:'''Lucrecia''': And why not? All those people at Shinra who laughed at my thesis— I have to prove them wrong!
:'''Grimoire Valentine''': Rushing into matters will get you nowhere, doctor. ''[watches Lucrecia typing at computer]'' Heh.
:''[turns to survey a dark mass in one of the life support containers; Lucrecia rises and both look at it when suddenly the container cracks; Grimoire shoves Lucrecia to the side as the dark stuff falls on him; Lucrecia rises and runs to him]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Are you all right, Dr. Valentine!?
:''[Lucrecia stares in horror at the dark stuff on Grimoire’s arm]''
:'''Grimoire Valentine''': I'll... I'll be fine... I'll be…
:''[in front of Shelke, Lucrecia and Grimoire appear as transparent images; Grimoire is on ground with Lucrecia holding his shoulders; he starts to fade]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Dr. Valentine!
:'''Grimoire Valentine''': Tell my son... that I’m... sorry.
:''[Lucrecia shakes head frantically]''
:'''Lucrecia''':  Dr. Valentine! Dr. Valentine!
:'''Grimoire Valentine''': My time has come... to return... to the Lifestream.
:''[Grimoire disappears as Lucrecia lurches forward]''
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[screams]'' NO! No...! Come back! Why did you have to fade away? Why did you...
:''[Lucrecia starts to sob as Shelke watches]''
:'''Shelke''': It’s all right. He simply returned to the planet.
:''[switches to scene of Young Shelke crying in front of grave]''
:'''Young Shalua''': Stop crying, Shelke.
:'''Young Shelke''': But… but…
:'''Young Shalua''': It’s alright. Mom just returned to the planet. We’ll see her again.
:''[Young Shelke tearfully turns to see younger Shalua]''
:'''Young Shelke''': We—we will?
:'''Shelke''': ''Is this…?
:'''Young Shalua''': Of course we will.
:'''Shelke''': ''No... Shalua?
:'''Young Shalua''': Mom said, ‘everything in this world flows around in a circle’. That means she’ll come back someday. Mom wouldn’t lie to us, right?
:'''Young Shelke''': Right.
:'''Young Shalua''': Right!
:''[switches back to Shelke]''
:'''Shelke''': Shalua...
:''[sees an image of Shalua next to her and gasps]''
:'''Shalua''': Shelke. Is it alright for me to return to the planet?
:'''Shelke''': No.
:'''Shalua''': Hmm?
:'''Shelke''': Not... yet. There’s... still so much I...
:''[Shalua places a hand on Shelke head]''
:'''Shalua''':  Don’t worry. We’ll see each other again.
:''[Shelke is back under her shield; she looks slowly up]''
:'''Shelke''': A dream? No... data. Data interference.
:''[tears slide down her cheeks; Shelke starts, stunned, and touches cheek; she stares at hand]''
:'''Shelke''': I didn’t think... I had any... tears left.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[voice comes from beside Vincent]''
:'''Nero''': A pleasure to finally meet you, Vincent.
:'''Vincent''': ''[turns]'' Nero.
:'''Nero''': At first I though you nothing more than a nuisance. However, it seems I can no longer let you run about unchained. I must protect my beloved brother.
:'''Vincent''': Your brother.
:'''Nero''': Dear Weiss. Powerful Weiss. The only person who ever loved me, and the only person I will ever love. However… ''[long pause]'' “Ah, but that is all forgotten. In a matter of moments, everything will change—
:'''Vincent''': What did you do with Shelke?
:'''Nero''': Shelke...? Ah yes, what did I do with her? I do recall running into the lass when I journeyed to the airship. A feisty one, she is. The girl is inside me, lost like a little puppy.
:''[Vincent pulls out gun]''
:'''Nero''': Ah, so you wish to dance.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[after Vincent defeats Nero; he rises from ground]''
:'''Nero''': Impressive. Perhaps Azul and Rosso never stood a chance against the mighty Valentine. But enough. I have other matters to attend to.
:''[darkness envelops Vincent; he looks up and around]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[more cracks start showing up on Shelke’s shield]''
:'''Shelke''': So this is the end.
:''[Vincent stops next to her shield; Shelke looks up at him and gasps; Vincent holds her phone out]''
:'''Vincent''': I think you dropped this. Unless you find something appealing about this place, I suggest we leave. Let’s go.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Nero starts to turn away from the darkness he made when Vincent and Shelke step out of it; he turns and stares at them]''
:'''Nero''': I see. Soul wrote of terra corrupt. My darkness would have no control over you, would it. So I must try a different dance. How about—
:''[darkness surges outward behind him; suddenly a weapon whirls out and lands next to him; Yuffie is above them disguised in her robe; strikes heroic pose]''
:'''Yuffie''': Even in a world where fear and despair reign over the heavens, you must never forget where there is shadow, there is always light! That’s right! Bask in my rays, evildoers. Feel the radiance of Wutai Super Ninja, Yuffie Kisaragi! Back and ready for action!
:'''Nero''': ...My brother calls.
:''[turns and walks into his darkness; Vincent puts his gun back in holster; he crouches down next to Shelke, who is lying on ground]''
:'''Vincent''': Are you alright?
:'''Shelke''': ''[stirs]'' I... I don’t know. Maybe... maybe I was dreaming.
:'''Yuffie''': Hey!! ''[jumps up and down, waving arms]'' I’m over here, guys!
:''[Yuffie suddenly losses balance; she tumbles down and lands in an undignified heap next to them; Vincent heaves a sigh]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Shelke is in Mako tank with Vincent and Yuffie standing outside]''
:'''Vincent''': Will you be alright?
:'''Shelke''': Yes.
:''[Vincent switches the tank on; it fills with Mako]''
:'''Shelke''': Thank you.
:'''Yuffie''': Okay! Now, let me see if I got this. You keep going, find Nero and Weiss, and smack them into next Tuesday. And while you’re cleaning house, I sneak into the Reactor and shut her down! Ha-ha! ''[spins]'' Sounds like a plan! So, see ya around, Vince!
:''[Yuffie runs off; Vincent starts to walk off but stops when Shelke murmurs]''
:'''Shelke''': Vincent Valentine.
:''[Vincent pauses and looks at container]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[flashback: Past Vincent walks into Lucrecia’s lab]''
:'''Past Vincent''': Lucrecia? Hello? Anybody here?
:''[looks around and notices Grimoire Valentine’s profile up on Lucrecia’s computer; Vincent walks up to it in shock]''
:'''Vincent''': Father?
:''[Lucrecia walks in]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Who’s—
:''[sees Vincent in front of computer]''
:'''Vincent''': Lucrecia, this file...
:'''Lucrecia''': It’s... it’s none of your business.
:'''Vincent''': But it is! Why didn’t you tell me you worked with my father!?
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[turns away]'' Stop it!! Just stop it!
:'''Vincent''': Lucrecia...
:''[the background fades away; Vincent’s holding Lucrecia’s hands]''
:'''Lucrecia''': I... it was all my fault. I didn’t mean for your father to die. I couldn't...! I’m so sorry!
:''[she breaks away and runs, crying]''
:'''Vincent''': ''[narrating]'' But I never blamed her. All I wanted was to see her smiling face. But after that day, the light left her heart.
:''[separately, Lucrecia is facing Hojo; he holds his arms out]''
:'''Hojo''': So, you’ve come to your senses and chosen me.
:'''Lucrecia''': Yes, doctor.
:''[Lucrecia embraces him]''
:'''Vincent''': ''[narrating]'' However, if she’s happy, then I don’t mind.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Shelke looks up from inside Mako tank]''
:'''Shelke''': Another…dream?
:''[sees Vincent outside tank]''
:'''Shelke''': Vincent Valentine.”
:'''Vincent''': Hmm?
:'''Shelke''': Why? Why are you fighting this battle?”
:'''Vincent''': To destroy Deepground and stop Omega’s return. It’s time that an end is put to this madness. Or at least, that is what I tell myself. Though... I’m not completely sure that’s the reason.
:'''Shelke''': Not sure. Neither am I. But, Vincent... I don't want to see the world end. I just... I just don't want there to be any more pain.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent walks into room]''
:'''Vincent''': Yuffie.
:''[Yuffie leaps out corner and lands next to him]''
:'''Yuffie''': You don’t look too roughed up.
:'''Vincent''': Neither do you.
:'''Yuffie''': In there, huh?
:'''Vincent''': Yeah. C’mon.
:''[they both walk into room; they see Weiss and start back]''
:'''Vincent''': This is Weiss?
:'''Yuffie''': It's— h-he's— it's dead?
:'''Nero''': ''[from behind them]'' But not for long.
:'''Yuffie''': Not for long?
:'''Nero''': A new life breaths inside him. Just as one does in you, Valentine.
:'''Yuffie''': ''[looks at both of them]'' Huh?
:'''Vincent''': Ohh. That’s what you’re doing.
:'''Yuffie''': What’s he doing? What’s he doing? What’s going on?! I don’t get it!
:'''Nero''': Soon, my dear brother will awaken. It seems like an eternity since I was granted the knowledge of rebirth.
:'''Vincent''': Granted?
:'''Yuffie''': By who?
:''[ground starts shaking; light starts growing brighter around Weiss]''
:'''Vincent''': What?!
:'''Yuffie''': Omega?
:''[both point weapons at Weiss]''
:'''Nero''': Stay away from my brother!!
:''[shoots darkness at both of them; Yuffie is floating in blackness; she starts screaming as she clutches her head; dark things start heading towards her and envelope her]''
:'''Yuffie''': No! No!!
:''[a sudden light destroys the darkness; Vincent floats in and carries her out; he sets her on the ground to the side]''
:'''Vincent''': You alright?
:'''Yuffie''': What the heck was that?
:'''Nero''': Oblivion perhaps. My darkness— it can absorb as well as extract almost anything. However, some things remain— things as black as the heart of a daemon. Ahh, the essence of death. Its ululations are like a lullaby.
:'''Yuffie''': How can you...
:''[Vincent turns around to face Nero]''
:'''Vincent''': Yuffie, stay here.
:'''Nero''': Ah yes, you were invulnerable to the darkness.
:''[Nero stretches out his arms and transports them both into darkness]
:'''Nero''': No one will take my brother away from me again!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[after fight; Nero clutches himself, gasping]''
:'''Nero''': Weiss…

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[light from room with Weiss in it shines out; Vincent runs into room to see Weiss standing]''
:'''Nero''': Weiss… my beloved brother. It is time.
:''[Weiss starts laughing maniacally]''
:'''Nero''': ''[walks towards him]'' Together… at last. I won’t leave you again. Never. Weiss…
:''[Weiss stabs Nero through with his hand]''
:'''Nero''': Weiss…?!
:'''Weiss''': I’m finished with you.
:''[throws Nero halfway across room to land by Vincent; Weiss laughs and leaps across room; Vincent shoots at him but Weiss block all bullets]''
:'''Weiss''': Your weapons are useless!
:''[lands in front of Vincent]''
:'''Weiss''': My body is one with Omega, just as yours is with Chaos. The difference being Chaos is nothing more than a pawn, whereas Omega is the ultimate weapon that will lead this planet’s soul to the stars. There is nothing that can destroy me. ''[laughs]'' Nothing. Vincent Valentine. And so we meet again.
:'''Vincent''':  What?
:'''Weiss''':  Still in the dark? Three years ago, while I was still running about looking for Sephiroth, I took it upon myself to distribute my data— my mind, my knowledge, my inner being, across the worldwide network. And even though my body had died, and the world had been left in ruin, I survived in a virtual reality. When the network was restored, the scattered data regrouped and I was reborn. A neo-Reunion, you could say.
:'''Vincent''': You... You!
:''[Weiss laughs; his voice begins to morph to Hojo’s]''
:'''Weiss''': That's right, boy. It's me. Hojo!
:''[a hologram of Hojo appears next to Weiss]''
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Let us do this right. Let us do this right. Hello, Vincent, how long has it been? Three years? You know, when I first read it, I thought that woman's thesis was utter nonsense. I couldn’t believe some fabled beast from legend past had anything to do with your survival. However, three years ago, when you transformed into Chaos right before my eyes, I must say I was shocked. Who would have thought her theory was actually valid? And so I began thinking. If Chaos exists, then so too must Omega. And if you could become one, then maybe I could become the other to traverse the cosmos in a blaze of glory! It was the chance of a lifetime! But there was a problem. Only a strong shell could hold back Omega’s might. And it could not be just anyone. You see, boy, the reason you were able to play such a perfect host to Chaos was because my experiments had endowed you with a nearly indestructible body. Thanks to me, you’re standing here today. ''[laughs]'' Now... where was I? Ah yes. I attempted to perfect my body for Omega by injecting myself with Jenova cells. However... that didn’t go as I had planned. ''[pauses]'' I failed to consider the fact that the cells might try to take over my mind and eat away at my soul. And so, as a safety measure, I came up with a brilliant plan; to transmit my neural data across the world wide network! However, after completing this, I realized I still required a durable body. That’s when I remembered Deepground, home to the most powerful beings on this planet! Ha-ha! I even found a willing assistant in the lad Nero here to help carry out my so-called rebirth.”
:''[shows Nero lying dead on the ground]''
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': Though never did he expect I would take control of his beloved brother’s mind! ''[laughs]'' And thus with a new body, I began my final experiment. If the Chaos within you was born of a tainted Lifestream, then the almighty Omega would be born of a pure one. So I had my minions gather up the uncontaminated to create a stream of refined Mako, thus awakening Omega inside me! Genius, I tell you! Ha-ha! Pure genius! Pure genius! Only a scientist of my caliber is worthy to become one with Omega and lead this planet for the stars!
:'''Vincent''': Hojo. I’ve heard enough.”
:''[pulls gun out and fires at Hojo; instantly Weiss bats away all bullets; the two start to fight; Weiss knocks Vincent to the ground]''
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': You’re getting old, Vincent Valentine. ''[laughs]'' You just can’t leave me alone, can you? Now sit right there. I want you to see this.
:''[looks back at room]''
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': And once I have absorbed the Lifestream...
:''[lifts hand; light starts to gather around it; Vincent gets to his feet, causing Weiss/Hojo to turn]''
:'''Vincent''': This isn’t over.
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': ''[laughs]'' So eager to die, are we? Very well. ''[pulls weapons out]'' I wanted to test out this body before I began my journey, anyway!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is lying on ground]''
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': That wasn’t much of a test.
:''[Vincent stands slowly, starting to glow]''
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': Hmph. Chaos.
:''[Vincent rushes Weiss/Hojo, only to be knocked back]''
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': You already tried that, Vincent.
:''[scene switches to Shelke in Mako tank; she looks up]''
:'''Shelke''': Vincent!
:''[switches back to Vincent lying on floor; he gets up, glowing as Chaos tries to control him; a transparent Lucrecia suddenly appears next to him and speaks with Shelke and Lucrecia’s voice]''
:'''Lucrecia/Shelke''': Vincent! You cannot defeat this enemy by simply trying to overpower him! Take control! Don’t let Chaos rule you! You must rule Chaos! You can do it!
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': Hah! Enough of this charade!
:'''Lucrecia/Shelke''': Please! Vincent!
:''[Lucrecia disappears]''
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': Aha. It looks like our Dr. Crescent has a friend! Hah! But she won’t help you now, Vincent Valentine!
:''[Weiss/Nero sends a bolt of light winging towards Vincent; unexpectedly, he blocks it with his hand; Weiss/Nero starts]''
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': Wha?! Why you! Utilizing the Protomateria to draw forth Chaos while maintaining your human form? Interesting. Let's see what you are capable of.
:''[Weiss/Nero shoots rocks at Vincent, who dodges them with inhuman speed; he attacks, but Vincent avoids his weapons]''
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': But even with the power of Chaos, you won't be able to stop me— stop Omega!”
:'''Vincent''': Hojo.
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': Huh?
:'''Vincent''': I said I've heard enough.
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': What!?
:'''Vincent''': It's time to end this. Right here, right now.
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': You—you insignificant fool!
:''[they battle]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent throws Weiss/Hojo against wall; hologram of Hojo floats above Weiss]''
:'''Hojo''': Wha? Why is Omega’s power fading? Why?
:'''Nero''': Weiss…
:'''Hojo''': What’s going on?
:''[darkness erupts by Weiss’s feet; A dark Nero emerges]''
:'''Nero''': Weiss…
:'''Hojo''': Impossible!
:''[the scene where Weiss/Hojo supposedly kills Nero is replayed]''
:'''Hojo''': Get—get out of me! Omega's host must be pure! Why do you think I had you create Mako untainted by Jenova!? If a filthy being like you infected it…!
:'''Nero''': Silence.
:'''Hojo''': Wha!
:'''Nero''': Silence! I’m speaking with my brother.
:'''Hojo''': You’re what...?
:'''Nero''': Dear Weiss...
:'''Weiss''': ''[stirs]'' Nero.
:'''Hojo''': No!
:'''Nero''': Brother.
:''[Nero kneels next to Weiss]''
:'''Nero''': Let us become one. Let us come together, so that none may ever tear us apart.
:''[Nero embraces Weiss]''
:'''Weiss''': Yes. Let us... Let us go join him.
:'''Nero''': Weiss...
:'''Weiss''': Nero...
:''[Nero fades away; Weiss stands and starts walking towards pool of Mako in center of room]''
:'''Hojo''': No! Stop it! You can't! This is my body now! No! No!
:''[wails as Weiss disappears]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Yuffie''': Vincent!
:''[runs into room]''
:'''Yuffie''': We did it!
:''[pool of Mako in center of room starts to flow outward; Vincent shoves Yuffie out the way as Mako streams converge upon him]''
:'''Yuffie''': Vincent!
:''[leaps away as the streams continue to flow out; Omega erupts out of the Reactors; Vincent escapes out of it but is now in Chaos form]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Shelke''': ''[to herself]'' Omega has awoken. And Chaos has been drawn out of the shadows to serve as a counterbalance. Or so it would seem. Hmm. However...
:''[walks away from Mako tank; sits down in seat as large helmet-like structure stops over her head]''
:'''Shelke''': In theory, the souls that exist inside Omega should act as a type of virtual network. It wouldn’t be impossible, but maybe I could... ''[sighs]'' Vincent, be grateful that I not only uploaded Lucrecia’s thoughts... but her wishes and dreams as well.
:''[sits back]''
:'''Shelke''': Uplink successful. Now commencing SND.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[an image of Shelke soars above Midgar before plunging into Omega; black tendrils start to wind around her, halting her progress; Shelke reaches forward]''
:'''Shelke''': Just a... little... more...
:''[a sudden light starts to melt away the tendrils; Lucrecia’s hands are holding the Protomateria; Shelke reaches for it]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Here.
:''[Shelke bursts out of Omega and races towards the sky; black tendrils erupt from Omega and race after her, trying to grip her; she breaks free, but more flow up; she finally reaches Vincent/Chaos; Shelke’s hand places the Protomateria into his chest, but when Vincent/Chaos looks down he sees Lucrecia]''
:'''Shelke (as Lucrecia)''': Take this... Vincent.
:''[tendrils wrap around Lucrecia/Shelke and drag her back down into Omega; Vincent roars; now back under his own control]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[flashback; Past Vincent is in life support container in Lucrecia’s lab; Lucrecia look up at him]''
:'''Lucrecia''': No... It’s still not enough. I have to hurry, or the tissue will continue to decay.
:''[she falls to her knees; screen goes black; then her lab comes back]''
:'''Hojo''': I see. Another experiment!
:''[Lucrecia gasps, shocked]''
:'''Hojo''': You’re using this fine specimen to—”
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[horrified, shouts]'' No! You’re wrong! You’re wrong! You’re wrong! I…
:''[Lucrecia stops]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Experiment?
:''[screen goes black; dialogue starts to flash across it]''
:'''Lucrecia''': I found it... With him... That’s why... I couldn’t save him... Proof...? Never again…
:''[shows Lucrecia walking into room after Hojo shot Vincent; Hojo is laughing; Lucrecia sees Vincent on floor and gasps]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Hojo... What have you...!
:'''Vincent''': Lu...cre...cia...
:''[screen goes black; dialogue starts to flash across it]''
:'''Lucrecia''': You had... you had his eyes. I didn’t... I didn’t want to remember/I didn’t want to face the truth. I pushed you away, but... Now I realize.../I never wanted to lose you.
:''[back in Lucrecia’s lab; she’s still on her knees; she presses a hand to her forehead]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Not… not again. Not today. ''[stands]'' Vincent... did you know that your eyes... are exactly like your father’s?
:''[screen goes black; dialogue starts to flash across it]''
:'''Lucrecia''': I’ve done it. Born of the Lifestream. Bringing it all together. Stopping the imminent decay of tissue. But instead...
:''[shows a glimpse of Vincent/Chaos’s contorting face]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Born was.../the Chaos that took him... Away from me.
:''[shows Lucrecia staring up in horror at Vincent thrashing around in Chaos form inside life support tank]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Stop! STOP!!
:''[Protomateria suddenly appears on floor; in tank, Vincent/Chaos stops contorting; screen goes black; dialogue starts to flash across it]''
:'''Lucrecia''': This... The materia... I found.../We found together.
:''[shows Lucrecia agitatedly typing at computer; it cannot perform what she’s trying to do and she hits it in despair]''
:'''Lucrecia''': No!
:''[turns to look at Vincent and falls to her knees]''
:'''Lucrecia''': What am I doing...
:''[shows room from inside life support tank; Lucrecia has Hojo by the shoulders, shaking him]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Give him back!! Give my son back!!
:'''Hojo''': And how does your experiment proceed?
:''[Lucrecia runs away almost hysterical]''
:'''Lucrecia''': I don’t know! I don’t know and I don’t care!!
:''[screen goes black with dialogue flashing across it]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Let me see him! Just once! ...I’m so sorry. I can’t...
:''[Lucrecia is sitting on floor]''
:'''Lucrecia''': I’m sorry. I can’t... take it anymore. My body... my mind...
:''[screen goes black with dialogue flashing across it]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Before I go... Jenova’s cells... Vincent... Stored as data... Must leave... Thought... I loved... Record... Memory copy... For him... It was wrong... Wait... Disperse... ...So sorry... Apply... ...But I... For... Fragment... Survive... Hope... who...?
:''[scene changes to Nero and Shelke]''
:'''Shelke''': Who is she?
:'''Nero''': Dr. Lucrecia Crescent.
:'''Shelke''': So I am to collect the data files— the fragments she left within the network?
:'''Nero''': Correct. Then you are to use that data to find the Protomateria. That is where he requires your assistance.
:'''Shelke''': He...?
:''[Shelke sighs; screen goes black as dialogue goes across it]''
:'''Shelke''': That information is unnecessary. Connect with her, Vincent. Connect with her heart.
:''[shows an unmoving Vincent sitting in the crystal cave; image of Lucrecia lands in front of him]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Hello Vincent. ''[looks around]'' Huh, something’s wrong... ''[starts to walk around Vincent]'' You see, this is me, but only in a sense. It is merely a reflection, created with my remaining data. ''[laughs quietly]'' The real me crumbled away long ago. Vincent. Do you remember our place? Under that tree?
:''[background changes to their picnic spot]''
:'''Lucrecia''': The warm breeze on our skin... I know that it no longer exists. Things fade with time, as do many things in this world. But, there are some things that we cannot let disappear. Hmm? ''[turns to gaze at the motionless Vincent]'' I finally... I finally realized my true feelings. Even if you may never understand them. Not that I mind, though. ''[laughs]'' But… this isn’t how it was supposed to be. I've... I've made too many mistakes. And I’ve hurt you so, so much. Why did I do what I did? I’m so sorry.
:''[screen goes black]''
:'''Lucrecia''': But I'm so happy... you survived.
:''[Vincent is now standing; Lucrecia is gone]''
:'''Vincent''': ''[screams]'' Lucrecia!!!
:''[scene changes back to Vincent flying over Midgar]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent lands and places Shelke down; she looks up at him]''
:'''Shelke''':  You’re late.
:'''Vincent''': Sorry about that.
:'''Shelke''': Huh.
:''[a faint image of Lucrecia floats around Shelke for a moment]''
:'''Shelke''': Not that I mind though.
:'''Vincent''': She— she was always like that. Heh. Only believing what she wanted to.
:'''Shelke''': So Vincent, why don’t you try telling her that yourself?
:'''Vincent''': Maybe I will.
:''[large gun appears in Vincent’s hand]''
:'''Vincent''': But before that, I have a story to end.
:''[flies off]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Omega tries to hold Vincent in place with plasma-like light; Cloud flies through the air and slices through it; he lands and pulls out phone]''
:'''Cloud''': Sorry about the wait.
:''[switches to scene of Tifa; she pulls out phone]''
:'''Tifa''': Everything’s clear over here!
:''[switches to Barret, who starts firing machine gun into air]''
:'''Barret''': AHHHHHHH!!!!! They’re all yours now, Vincent!
:''[switches to Cid, who is lighting a cigarette]''
:'''Cid''': All in a day’s work.
:''[switches to Reeve, Shelke, Yuffie and WRO members]''
:'''Reeve''': Fire.
:''[part of Reactor explodes; Yuffie and WRO members start cheering]''
:'''Yuffie''': Alright! ''[spins]'' Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
:'''Reeve''': And just in time.
:'''Shelke''': ''[to herself]'' Huh. When did I start caring so much about what happens? ''[looks up into air]'' The rest is up to you.
:''[shows Vincent hovering over Midgar; shows a shot of everyone’s face]''
:'''Cloud, Tifa, Barret, Yuffie, Cid and Reeve''': Vincent!
:''[Vincent rushes up high into the sky]''
:'''Vincent''': Hmh. Guess I have no choice. It's time... to save the world.
:''[Vincent zooms towards Omega]''
:'''Cloud, Tifa, Barret, Yuffie, Cid and Reeve''': Yeah!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Weiss is walking towards Vincent/Chaos]''
:'''Weiss''': Hmph.
:''[Weiss attacks; Vincent shoots and hits Weiss; Weiss is suddenly behind Vincent, his blades through Vincent’s torso; he shuts his eyes and Vincent is behind him with gun pointed at his head]''
:'''Weiss''': Ha-ha.
:''[the two of them resume fighting]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Omega grows wings and starts to rise; shows Vincent chasing it; scene switches to group on ground]''
:'''Reeve''': Omega’s… ascending! But that would mean…!
:''[Vincent speeds ahead and hovers above Omega; he charges up and plunges through it, howling; panshot of a great light exploding over part of planet; then the light fades, leaving the sky clear; the group on the ground looks up in dismay]''
:'''Barret''': Oh… oh.
:''[light remnants fall from the sky]''
:'''Yuffie''': Vincent…?

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[shows Midgar and Edge]''
:'''Shelke''': ''[narrating]'' Vincent… It has been almost a week since that day. The Lifestream has returned to the planet and has begun to flow normally once again.
:''[shows Shelke sitting in the 7th Heaven holding her phone]''
:'''Shelke''': And I have started to fill the ten year hole in my life. Or at least, started to try. I’ve learned so much in the past weeks. Now that I realize I’m not alone I think I may be a little stronger than I was before.
:''[Shelke looks over as Yuffie runs up to Tifa]''
:'''Yuffie''': Have you heard from Cloud?
:'''Tifa''': Mm-hm. He hasn’t found anything.
:'''Yuffie''': Agh. Ain’t gunna make this easy for us, is he.
:''[Shelke looks out window]''
:'''Shelke''': ''[narrating]'' Vincent… do you remember the last words we exchanged? Do you remember our promise? Your promise to Lucrecia? Go. Tell her how you feel. Tell her what is truly in your heart.
:''[Shelke places phone down on table and leaves; phone screen shows text message is being sent]''
:'''Shelke''': I know that you will probably never see this, but I have to try... I have to believe.
:''[shows Shelke sitting with Red XIII on steps]''
:'''Shelke''': I’ve learned I must never give up hope. Never.
:''[scene changes to inside crystal cave; shows Lucrecia’s face]''
:'''Vincent''': Lucrecia. Everything's alright now. Omega and Chaos have returned to the planet.
:''[shows Vincent sitting in front of crystal; he stands]''
:'''Vincent''': Thank you. It was you. You were the reason I… survived.
:''[As Vincent leaves a tear slides down Lucrecia’s cheek; Vincent walks out cave and sees Shelke standing outside; he walks up behind her and stops]''
:'''Shelke''': Everyone’s waiting, Vincent Valentine. I don’t know why they made me come up here and get you.
:'''Vincent''': ''[smiling]'' Hmh.
:'''Shelke''': ''[laughs slightly and turns]'' Not that I mind though.
:''[Vincent and Shelke both look up at the remnant of Omega in the sky]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''WRO soldier''': &quot;Sir. I've been spending time analyzing the data retrieved from the files of former weapons development administrator Scarlet. Deepground. It used to be a medical facility for injured SOLDIER troops. Military personnel would be sent there for care and rehabilitation. However, over time, it evolved into a laboratory for madmen content on ignoring all laws of man and nature. And supposedly this evolution took place because of the existence of one rogue SOLDIER—a man known only as &quot;G.&quot; However, that's all we were able to retrieve.&quot;

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''G''': &quot;It is not yet time for slumber. We still have much work to do... My brother.&quot;

== Voice Cast ==
* [[w:Steve Blum|Steve Blum]] - [[w:Vincent Valentine|Vincent Valentine]]
* [[w:Kari Wahlgren|Kari Wahlgren]] - Shelke the Transparent
* [[w:Kim Mai Guest|Kim Mai Guest]] - Shalua Rui
* [[w:Jamieson Price|Jamieson Price]] - Reeve Tuesti
* [[w:April Stewart|April Stewart]] - [[w:Lucrecia (Final Fantasy VII)|Lucrecia Crescent]]
* [[w:Paul Eiding|Paul Eiding]] - Professor Hojo
* [[w:Greg Ellis (actor)| Greg Ellis]] - [[w:Cait Sith (Final Fantasy VII)| Cait Sith]]
* [[w:Dave Boat|Dave Boat]] - Weiss the Immaculate
* Mike Rock - Nero the Sable
* [[w:Brad Abrell|Brad Abrell]] - Azul the Cerulean
* [[w:Mary Elizabeth McGlynn|Mary Elizabeth McGlynn]] - Rosso The Crimson
* [[w:Mae Whitman|Mae Whitman]] - [[w:Yuffie Kisaragi|Yuffie Kisaragi]]
* [[w:Chris Edgerly|Chris Edgerly]] - [[w:Cid Highwind|Cid Highwind]]
* [[w:Steve Burton (actor)|Steve Burton]] - [[w:Cloud Strife|Cloud Strife]]
* [[w:Rachael Leigh Cook|Rachael Leigh Cook]] - [[w:Tifa Lockhart|Tifa Lockhart]]
* [[w:Beau Billingslea|Beau Billingslea]] - [[w:Barret Wallace|Barret Wallace]]
* [[w:Bob Joles|Bob Joles]] - [[w:Grimoire Valentine|Grimoire Valentine]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=0481507|title=Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Final Fantasy 07: Dirge of Cerberus}}
[[Category:Final Fantasy (series)]]

[[ru:Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus]]</text>
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    <revision>
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      <parentid>3158794</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T09:31:45Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
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      <comment>Another typo correction</comment>
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'''''[[w:Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus|Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus]]''''' is an action role-playing third-person shooter video game developed and published by Square Enix in 2006 for the PlayStation 2.

&lt;center&gt;'''When the world becomes shrouded in darkness, his gun will toll a dreadful dirge...''' [[#Taglines|taglines]]&lt;/center&gt;


== Vincent Valentine ==
* It looks like I still have some work to do.
* Reeve. Nice to see you again. Not a very interesting outfit, though.
* You shouldn't leave those things lying around.
:''[After firing a bazooka he randomly picked up off the ground]''

* I’ll take care of your pet problem. Just keep driving.
* I guess I have no choice.
* The Sewers... How appropriate is that?
: ''[After being told the way into Shinra Manor]
* I used to be nothing but a stone in the river of time. But three years ago, it was you and the others who taught me I had to move ahead.
* When a person has someone they care about that much, giving their life is sometimes the least they can do. And maybe that's what makes us human.
* I didn’t say anything.
* Deepground. Shinra’s dark secret. Three years of hell below. Now... a world of hell above. The path to darkness opens once more.
* I think you dropped this.
: ''[Giving Shelke her phone as he rescues her]
* Hmh. Guess I have no choice. It's time... to save the world.

== Shelke Rui ==

* So? I don't understand... how someone could give her own life for that of another. Do you understand, Vincent Valentine?
* This feeling... is this what you meant... by doing something for someone... you care about?
* Dr. Crescent’s data has begun defragmenting within my mind. I can see many different images. Images she experienced with you.
* You must fight him! I don’t want you to die!
* As old as he is and still acting like a helpless child. I can see why Lucrecia had such a difficult time.
: ''[speaking of Vincent]
* I didn’t think... I had any... tears left.
* But, Vincent... I don't want to see the world end. I just... I just don't want there to be any more pain.
* Omega has awoken. And Chaos has been drawn out of the shadows to serve as a counterbalance. Or so it would seem.
* You’re late.
: ''[After Vincent rescues her]
* Vincent… do you remember the last words we exchanged? Do you remember our promise? Your promise to Lucrecia? Go. Tell her how you feel. Tell her what is truly in your heart.
* Everyone’s waiting, Vincent Valentine. I don’t know why they made me come up here and get you. Not that I mind though.

== Shalua Rui ==
* The Commissioner keeps telling me I’m wasting my time. My time searching. For my reason to live.
* Soul wrought of terra corrupt, quelling impurity, purging the stream to beckon forth an ultimate fate. Behold mighty Chaos, Omega's squire to the lofty heavens. A passage from Dr. Crescent's thesis. But that's all I know.
* No! It does matter! Even though ten years have passed, you’re still Shelke, my only sister!
* I have to admit, I wasn’t myself back there. Seeing you for the first time in ten years left me in a spin. But I’ve had time to recover. And I’m not letting you get away. Not this time. There’s no way I’m going to let you kill me, and there’s no way I’m going to let you go back to Deepground.
* I don’t remember you ever being able to win one of our fights. Do you? How about it? You wanna try your luck?
* Shelke… I'm sorry I let you suffer... for so long.

== Reeve Tuesti ==
* Deepground soldiers. The shadow of the Shinra Company, constructed by the former president and completely hidden from the rest of the world.
* I have good news. Using you-know-who, I was able to infiltrate Midgar. However, what I saw wasn't the prettiest of pictures.
* I’m so ashamed. I’m supposed to be a hero of the Jenova war. But look at me.
* By slaughtering thousands of innocent souls, they [Deepground] are creating a pure Lifestream in order to trick the planet into thinking the end is near.
* The WRO is crucial to this planet’s survival. I’m not concerned with the reasons this person has for helping us as long as he continues writing the checks. Though, I have a feeling it is probably someone who believes he is in debt to the planet.
: ''[When Vincent asks him who’s backing the WRO]

== Lucrecia Crescent ==
* I'm so sorry.
:''[Repeated line]
* I apologize! This is the first time I’ve ever met anyone from the Turks! Lucrecia Crescent. Pleased to make your acquaintance, Mr. Valentine.
* Omega. His awakening is upon us.
* Soul wrought of terra corrupt, quelling impurity, purging the stream to beckon forth an ultimate fate. Behold mighty Chaos, Omega's squire to the lofty heavens. I came across this passage while studying the scriptures of the Ancients. The Chronicles of Yore. Omega: The end.
* Just as all other sentient beings, he too, is born of the Lifestream. However, his only purpose is to cleanse the planet of all things living and lead their immortal souls through the abyssal aether to a new beginning far, far beyond the never ending sea of stars.
* Just as life circulates through our planet, so too, does our planet through the universe. Or at least in theory. However, what I can be certain of is, if Omega awakens, then all life as we know it will end. And when Omega has embarked on his journey to the cosmos, our planet will die.
* Why are you so surprised? Is my face ''that'' hideous?
:''[When she wakes a startled Vincent]
*You must fight him! I don’t want you to die!
* Vincent... did you know that your eyes... are exactly like your father’s?
* Give him back! Give my son back! Let me see him! Just once!
* Vincent. Do you remember our place? Under that tree? The warm breeze on our skin... I know that it no longer exists. Things fade with time, as do many things in this world. But, there are some things that we cannot let disappear.

== Yuffie Kisaragi ==
* Vincent... get out of there... I have a bad feeling about this!
* I am the champion of the earth and the sky. I am the conqueror of evil. The single white rose of Wutai! Yuffie Kisaragi!  Feast your eyes on— ''[falls and hits her head]''.

* You-! Could you at least pretend to be sympathetic?
*  I was poking around Nibelheim and I found you looking all corpselike in Shinra Manor. So I saved you! Imagine that- me, saving the great Vincent Valentine. Do I get any thanks?
* There you have it! I don't know what's going down, but it sounds big. I've been waiting a long time to get my hands on those Deepground punks. They've had their way long enough. Now it's time to give them a taste of pain a-la-Yuffie.
* Even in a world where fear and despair reign over the heavens, you must never forget where there is shadow, there is always light! That’s right! Bask in my rays, evildoers. Feel the radiance of Wutai Super Ninja, Yuffie Kisaragi! Back and ready for action!
* What’s he doing? What’s he doing? What’s going on?! I don’t get it!

== Professor Hojo ==
* Yes, a body… for my next experiment! A genius! That’s what I am! Success here will justify previous failures.
* Once a scientist, always a scientist, I must say. How happy this fellow must be, helping his beloved! Even after he’s begun rotting away!
* Still in the dark? Three years ago, while I was still running about looking for Sephiroth, I took it upon myself to distribute my data— my mind, my knowledge, my inner being, across the worldwide network. And even though my body had died, and the world had been left in ruin, I survived in a virtual reality. When the network was restored, the scattered data regrouped and I was reborn. A neo-Reunion, you could say.
* I’m sorry. Let us do this right. Hello, Vincent, how long has it been? Three years? You know, when I first read it, I thought that woman's thesis was utter nonsense. I couldn’t believe some fabled beast from legend past had anything to do with your survival.

== Rosso the Crimson ==

* You know, this is the first time I’ve ever felt the rain on my skin. But then again, I hadn’t even seen the sky until a few days ago.
* It’s not everyday you are given the chance to cleanse the world of all life. Just the thought sends a chill of excitement through my body.
* And what do you think we did when we gained our freedom, hmm? We killed. It was how we were raised. That is all we knew. And so I bathed in the blood of a thousand soldiers. And I enjoyed it. I reveled in it. And when I finally stepped out of the abyss, I craved for more.
* Wutai flea!!
:''[After Yuffie rescues Vincent]
* I'm a Tsviet! I traded in my human weaknesses for power long ago. It is the path I've chosen. And the path I'll tread. Until I've sucked all life from this pitiful world!
* Someone…. stronger… than… than…! A… ah… absurd! Absurd!

== Azul the Cerulean ==
* Answer me this; do you know why you even exist? Hmph, just as I thought. Ignorant to your own destiny.
* You may think this is the end, but…
* Ohh. Something inside you wants out. Its stench is so very familiar. Come, Vincent! Show me your rage! Now... let the killing begin!
* It looks... like you were... more beast... than I. Very well. I’ll see you again, Vincent, in hell.

== Nero the Sable ==
* So that is Chaos. Intriguing. Soul wrote of terra corrupt. Perhaps I should simply let him live out his destiny of destruction.
* Ah, so you wish to dance.
* Impressive. Perhaps Azul and Rosso never stood a chance against the mighty Valentine.
* I see. Soul wrote of terra corrupt. My darkness would have no control over you, would it. So I must try a different dance.
* My darkness— it can absorb as well as extract almost anything. However, some things remain— things as black as the heart of a daemon. Ahh, the essence of death. Its ululations are like a lullaby.

== Cait Sith ==
* Ha HA! That was a close one! Never was good at fightin’. Luckily, I came out wearin’ ‘Reeve.’ You’re really not a bad bloke, are you Vincent— ahh, you pretend not to care but you always come through in the end, hah ha!
* Let’s run those lads outta town! I’ll leave the method up to you.
* Wha…! What in the blazes is growing down there?
* Alright, take it away, Shelke!

== Miscellaneous ==

* And so the hound weaves the final chapter in this tale of life...
** Opening logo.

* For the past three years this door has remained sealed. However, that seal is about to be broken. There are no records of this place located deep beneath the Shinra Building, another of the companies’ secrets revealed recently. According to investigative reports, there is evidence that thousands of people were once transported here.
** T.V. Anchor woman.

* &quot;With Jenova War hero Reeve Tuesti at its helm, our organization is dedicated to aiding the healing process of the planet, as well as protecting it from any who attempt further harm.&quot;
** WRO Soldier.

* You know, I was born in Midgar. My brother and I used to play here all the time. My mom didn’t approve, though. After she died, my brother joined a Shinra resistance group, but was killed when the plate fell. I can’t believe this place is still here.
** WRO Lieutenant

== Dialogue ==

:''[Meteor is hovering in the sky above Midgar as Yuffie is evacuating everyone]''
:'''Yuffie''': C’mon, hurry up! And try not to drop anyone this time! ''[to soldier]'' Report!
:'''Soldier''': Evact complete! All injured have been removed to the transports!
:'''Yuffie''': Ok, let’s get outta here! Just remember to keep on guard until you’re clear of the red zone!
:''[calls Vincent]''
:'''Yuffie''': We’re all done here. How ‘bout you?
:'''Vincent''': Finished. But Yuffie… I want you to check the Mako Cannon.
:'''Yuffie''': But… we already…
:''[checks signal: LIFE SIGNS 01 shows up on screen]''
:'''Yuffie''': What the—!
:'''Vincent''': Just as I thought.
:'''Yuffie''': Hold on, hold on! This is crazy! There’s no way anybody could be up there! No!
:'''Vincent''': Yuffie. Rendezvous with Cloud and the others. It looks like I still have some work to do. ''[hangs up]''
:'''Yuffie''': Hey, whoa! ...Vincent... get out of there... I have a bad feeling about this!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is running up stairs; reaches top and spies a figure in a lab coat draped over a computer console; he glares and raises gun up to shoot; lightning bold smashes into the top, causing an explosion; when Vincent look back up the figure is gone; the tower starts exploding;]''
:''[Yuffie swerves by on hover bike]''
:'''Yuffie''': Vincent!!
:''[Vincent leaps and lands on behind her; he takes control as Yuffie lays against the steering, motion-sick; below them, the entire thing starts to blow up]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''Three years later…
:''[A drop of water falls into small circle of water surrounding crystal in the middle of cave. Vincent's eyes open: he looks up at the crystal containing Lucrecia]''
:'''Vincent''': ''[narrating]'' So...we meet again, Lucrecia.
:'''Lucrecia''': ''S-s-sorr-y...''
:''[screen goes black.]''
:'''Lucrecia''':  I'm so sorry.
:''[cuts back to scene of Vincent in Kalm in his room]''
:'''Vincent''': …Why? I'm the one who should apologize.
:''[T.V. is on; pan shot of Vincent’s cell-phone with a text from Reeve Tuesti, reading, ‘Meet me in Kalm. We need to talk.’]''
:'''T.V. Anchor Man''': Three weeks ago our crew left for Midgar.
:'''T.V. Anchor Woman''': However, the groups whereabouts still remain unknown. What really happened down there?
:'''T.V. Anchor Man''': Tonight, for the first time, we bring you the final transmission received before all contact was lost.
:'''T.V. Anchor woman''': For the past three years this door has remained sealed. However, that seal is about to be broken. There are no records of this place located deep beneath the Shinra Building, another of the companies’ secrets revealed recently. According to investigative reports, there is evidence that thousands of people were once transported here. If rumors of the Shinra Company conducting human experiments are true, then this may be where those nefarious deeds were carried out. To bring you this exclusive footage, Channel 7 News has teamed up with volunteer organization—oh, wait, I think I see something—
:''[T.V. fades out as fireworks drown it out; Vincent look out his window at the town; a pan shot of Kalm shows the town having a carnival/celebration]''
:''[Vincent jerks his head around in time to see an explosion outside his window; people start screaming; Vincent manages to get out his room as helicopter shoots it; he attacks and brings down the helicopter;]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent looks around at the town]''
:'''Vincent''': Huh. What’s going on?
:''[three Deepground soldiers come up behind him; their helmets scan him; pan shot of a girl hooked up to a bunch of computers;]''
:'''Shelke''': Found you.
:''[Deepground soldiers attack;]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Shelke pulls off headset]''
:'''Shelke''': Vincent Valentine. We’ve found you.
:'''Azul''': Is this the one?
:'''Shelke''': Yes.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent walks into room; a hole blows in one side of the wall; Azul steps in with Shelke]''
:'''Shelke''': The Protomateria. Tell us where it is.
:''[Vincent remains silent]''
:'''Azul''': Hail Weiss.
:'''Deepground Soldiers''': Hail Weiss!
:''[they attack]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Azul''': Challenge accepted.
:''[He moves towards Vincent; Shelke suddenly collapses; Reeve’s voice is heard outside the room]''
:'''Reeve''': This way!
:'''Azul''': Hm. Luck is on your side.
:''[picks Shelke up with one hand and starts to leave]''
:'''Shelke''': I’m… sorry…
:''[Azul pauses and stares at Vincent]''
:'''Azul''': I am Azul. We ''will'' meet again.
:''[leaves; Reeve rushes in]''
:'''Reeve''': What happened here?
:''[sees Vincent]''
:'''Reeve''': Vincent Valentine. Are you alright?
:'''Vincent''': Mm hm. Reeve. Nice to see you again. Not a very interesting outfit, though.
:'''Reeve''': ''[laughs]'' It took me a while to decide what costume to put on today. But enough of this small talk. Who were those soldiers that just left?
:'''Vincent''': I don’t know. The Large one called himself ‘Azul’.
:'''Reeve''': Azul the Cerulean?! Of the Tsviets? Then that could only mean…
:'''Soldier''': Commissioner!
:''[Deepground soldiers are closing in]''
:'''Reeve''': We'll discuss this later. WRO troops have arrived and commenced rescue operations. We could use your help, Vincent.
:''[begins to walk away.]''
:'''Vincent''': Reeve.
:''[Reeve stops and partially turns around.]''
:'''Vincent''': ''[sighs]'' I don't know what you are up to, but I want absolutely no part of it.
:'''Reeve''': But... You fought alongside us three years ago! We need your help once mor—
:''[Reeve gets shot from behind by enemy soldier; Vincent shoots down enemy soldier before running to Reeve's side.]''
:'''Vincent''': Reeve!
:''[He goes to pick up Reeve, who falls apart into several pieces; out pops Cait Sith.]''
:'''Cait Sith''': Ha HA! That was a close one! Never was good at fightin’. Luckily, I came out wearin’ ‘Reeve.’ You’re really not a bad bloke, are you Vincent— ahh, you pretend not to care but you always come through in the end, hah ha!
:'''Vincent''': ''[sighs again]'' Alright. What do you want me to do?
:'''Cait Sith''': Let’s run those lads outta town! I’ll leave the method up to you. When you’ve tidied thing up, meet me in the square in front of the East Church.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''WRO Member''': Mr. Vincent Valentine? I’m an officer with the World Regenesis Organization. Speak with me if you need any assistance. The WRO was originally established after Meteor three years ago. With Jenova War hero Reeve Tuesti at its helm, our organization is dedicated to aiding the healing process of the planet, as well as protecting it from any who attempt further harm. Sir! You can see the East Church is just past these buildings! We will help you secure the area.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Reeve''': Good work, Vincent. The enemy is retreating. It seems they have finally begun their withdrawal from Kalm.
:'''Vincent''': Good.
:'''Reeve''': However, we still require your assistance. Reports are Edge is under attack.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Two WRO Soldiers are shooting from behind boxes; suddenly a strange darkness engulfs one and he disappears; the other doesn’t notice]''
:'''WRO Soldier''': Quick, toss me another clip! ''[looks beside him]'' Huh!?
:''[the darkness suddenly swallows him]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[A team of WRO Soldiers are going through a building; darkness suddenly sweeps over one in the back and he disappears]''
:'''WRO Soldier''': ''[looks behind him]'' Where’d everyone go?
:''[laughter comes up behind them; they turn to see Rosso above them]''
:'''WRO Soldier''': Who the hell are you?
:'''Rosso''': Rosso. Rosso the Crimson.
:'''WRO Soldier''': Tsviets!
:''[Rosso pulls out her blade and suddenly reappears behind them and kills them in one blow]''
:'''Rosso''': Huh. The mighty WRO. They wouldn’t last a day in Deepground.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Vincent''': Reeve. Who were those men?
:'''Reeve''': Deepground soldiers.
:'''Vincent''': Deepground?
:'''Reeve''': Yes. The shadow of the Shinra Company, constructed by the former president and completely hidden from the rest of the world.
:'''Vincent''': Constructed?
:'''Reeve''': His goal was to create an army of superhuman warriors— not once letting morality interfere. The man you met earlier, Azul, is also a member of Deepground. But he belongs to an elite unit known as the Tsviets. The whole organization was kept a secret. That’s why there’s so little information on them. However it’s nothing like I expected.
:'''Vincent''': Not even a person in your position was informed?
:'''Reeve''': No. Other than the president himself the only people who knew of Deepground’s existence was most likely Heidegger, Scarlet, and the head of Biochemical Research, Hojo. After the President’s death the transfer of power to his son was carried out so quickly I doubt Rufus was ever briefed on the project. As for me I was told the information was a need to know basis and as an official in charge of Urban Development I guess I wasn’t on their ‘list’. All the currant intel we have on Deepground was only discovered recently. We came across some of Scarlet’s old files.
:'''Vincent''': Huh.
:'''Reeve''': Vincent… have you heard of the mass disappearance that occurred recently in Junon?
:'''Vincent''': Hmm. I remember the report saying that twenty or thirty people suddenly vanished.
:'''Reeve''': That’s what the report would like you to believe. It was determined internally that if the truth was leaked they wouldn’t be able to contain the inevitable panic. The actual number of people that went missing that day… was twelve hundred.
:'''Vincent''': Huh?
:'''Reeve''': Twelve hundred people simply vanished that day without a single trace. The WRO conducted a private investigation, but we came up empty-handed… except for the rumors. Since the Junon disappearances people of Edge have been… on edge. They say night after night you can hear screams coming from the direction of Midgar. Could it be the wind? Let me ask you; does the wind sound a thousand wailing souls? Listen… can you hear them? The cries?
:'''Soldier''': Commissioner! A rogue transmission is being broadcasted on all wavelengths!
:''[Reeve leaps up]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent and Reeve are watching screen]''
:'''Weiss''': At last… the time has come to cleanse this world. The pure will be spared for the cause, while the tainted will be hunted down and exterminated. Slashed, strangled and slaughtered. Beaten, stabbed and crushed. Gutted and impaled, shot and executed without mercy. The time has come to cleanse this world.
:''[starts laughing maniacally as Reeve and Vincent look on in horror and disgust; the message terminates]''
:'''Reeve''': Where could… that signal have…
:''[the vehicle they are in jolts; Reeve leaps out of his seat in alarm]''
:'''Reeve''': What was that?!
:''[runs to back of van and flings the rear doors open; a creature leaps at him only to drop as Vincent shoots it]''
:'''Reeve''': Guardhounds!
:''[Vincent shoots another]''
:'''Vincent''': I’ll take care of your pet problem. Just keep driving.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[after escaping the guardhounds]''
:'''Vincent''': Are you alright?
:'''Reeve''': I’ll be fine, but that’s more than I can say for the engine. Vincent… if possible, I want you to continue on to Edge. That transmission we just saw troubles me. Once I have repaired the Shadowfox, I’ll need to return to headquarters. A WRO squad has already been dispatched to Edge. Join them, and help liberate the city.
:'''Vincent''': ''[exhales]'' I guess I have no choice.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Rosso''': ''[laughing into the air]'' Slashed, strangled and slaughtered. Beaten, stabbed and crushed. Gutted and impaled, shot and executed without mercy. Nicely said, Weiss. I wonder if this will be more amusing than last time....
:''[panshot shows she is surrounded by WRO bodies]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is looking down a street from a corner; Shalua sees him, and Vincent whirls; both manage to point guns in each others faces; Vincent looks down at her badge]''
:'''Vincent''': You’re WRO?
:'''Shalua''': Who’s asking?
:'''Vincent''': ''[puts his gun back in its holster]'' Vincent Valentine. Reeve sent me.
:'''Shalua''': ''[twirls gun and shoves it into her holster]'' My apologies. Shalua Rui, with the WRO. The Commissioner has told me much about you.
:'''Vincent''': What happened here?
:'''Shalua''': That’s what I would like to know. I’m here on other business, but something’s not right. It’s too… quiet. I’ve seen no trace of Deepground, or the squads that were sent in to fight them. Also, where are the five hundred people that were supposed to be living here? Well… this is getting us nowhere. Like I said, I have business to attend to. I’ll see you around.
:''[starts walking off]''
:'''Vincent''': Business?
:'''Shalua''': ''[pauses]'' The Commissioner keeps telling me I’m wasting my time. My time searching.
:'''Vincent''': Searching for what?
:'''Shalua''': For my reason to live.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is crouched in front of soldier sitting against a wall]''
:'''Wounded WRO soldier''': ''[gasping]'' Agh… ah… Am…bushed… by… soldiers… and squad… wiped out… warehouse… they…were gathering… civilians…
:''[soldier goes limp; Vincent walks over and closes man’s eyes]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[A small boy hiding in the corner of square runs to Vincent]''
:'''Small Boy''': Uh… thanks. The warehouse… I…I know how to get there. It’s though that gate. You have the card key?
:''[Vincent shakes head]''
:'''Small Boy''': C’mon, I know someone who does. Follow me.
:''[…]''
:'''Small Boy''': There. That should let you through.
:'''Vincent''': Right. Thanks kid.
:'''Small Boy''': ''[starts crying]'' Avenge… I couldn’t…do…Mom and dad… right there, but I couldn’t move...
:''[Vincent slowly crouches in front of boy]''
:'''Small Boy''': I was too scared—but, but… Please! Please, help me avenge their deaths!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Rosso''': You know, this is the first time I’ve ever felt the rain on my skin. But then again, I hadn’t even seen the sky until a few days ago.
:''[turns to look at Vincent]''
:'''Rosso''': So, you're Vincent Valentine. Keeper of the Protomateria.
:'''Vincent''': Proto…materia?
:'''Rosso''': Yes. The key to controlling Omega. We know you have it. Hand it over now, and I’ll kill you… ''quickly''.
:''[Vincent stares at her stoically]''
:'''Rosso''': ''[laughs]'' Not one to argue, are you. Then I’ll make sure you suffer. Time to die!
:''[attacks while Vincent dodges; but manages to throw Vincent against a wall; Vincent erupts into Chaos Form]''
:'''Rosso''': Ahhh!
:''[Rosso is thrown back; returning to form, Vincent collapses, managing to see a pair of feet walking towards him before blacking out]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[During flashbacks]''
:'''Vincent''': Lucrecia.
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[from within crystal]'' ''…Sorry…''
:'''Vincent''': ...Why?
:'''Lucrecia''': ''...Awake…''
:'''Vincent''': Awake?
:''[screen goes black]''
:'''Lucrecia''': I’m so sorry.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[During flashbacks]''
:'''Past Vincent''':  Talk! Why did you let this happen!?
:'''Hojo''':  Silence.
:'''Vincent''':  You…!
:'''Hojo''':  Silence!!
:''[Hojo shoots Vincent; past Vincent falls down, staring at Hojo's boots as his vision blurs.]''
:'''Hojo''': Why can't these people just keep quiet? Yes, a body… for my next experiment! ''[laughs maniacally]'' A genius! That’s what I am! Success here will justify previous failures.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent awakes in a life support tank]''
:'''Shalua''' Well look who’s awake.
:''[Vincent looks around]''
:'''Shalua''' ''[stands]'' Hold on, I’ll release you.
:'''Vincent''': ''[after getting out:]'' Where am I?
:'''Shalua''' Safe inside the WRO Headquarters. I carried you back here from Edge after you collapsed during your fight with Deepground. It seems like the beast inside you went a little wild back there. This happen often?
:'''Vincent''': Went wild? Do you mean… Chaos?
:'''Shalua''': Chaos? Your body harbors the Chaos gene? Oh, so that explains your relationship with Dr. Lucrecia Crescent. Were you the product of one of her experiments?
:'''Vincent''': Lucrecia’s... experiments?
:'''Shalua''': I apologize. That wasn’t what I meant.
:'''Vincent''': Wait. Lucrecia... was researching... Chaos?
:'''Shalua''': ''[slowly]'' Don’t tell me you didn’t know. ''[opens file on computer]'' Crescent. General Class A scientist specializing in biotechnology. In her research thesis, &quot;The Planet's Pulse,&quot; she refers to Chaos as one of the sentient xenoforms residing among us. However, the theories she presented in her work were so abstract and…
:''[Shalua’s voice fades as Vincent stares at computer; Lucrecia’s voice echoes in Vincent’s mind]''
:'''Lucrecia''': I’m so sorry… awaken.
:''[Shalua notices Vincent isn’t listening]''
:'''Shalua''': Are you alright?
:'''Vincent''': …Can I see that thesis?
:'''Shalua''': Unfortunately, no. On top of being obscure, it was never even submitted to the Shinra Database. All I know is what I saw going through the company’s archives.
:''[door opens and Reeve walks in]''
:'''Reeve''': Vincent! Have you recovered already?

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Shelke is typing on computer; Azul walks up behind her]''
:'''Azul''' What is the status of our keeper?
:'''Shelke''': His location remains unchanged since the confrontation. We can assume that this is the WRO’s headquarters.
:'''Azul''' Hah, good. Two birds with one stone.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Reeve''': So. Rosso the Crimson told you that Protomateria is the key to controlling Omega.
:'''Vincent''': Yeah.
:'''Reeve''': ''[to Shalua]'' Any ideas?
:'''Shalua''': Soul wrought of terra corrupt, quelling impurity, purging the stream to beckon forth an ultimate fate. Behold mighty Chaos, Omega's squire to the lofty heavens.
:'''Reeve''': Where’d you...?
:'''Shalua''': A passage from Dr. Crescent's thesis. But that's all I know. Unfortunately, I only saw a fragment of the document. However, Chaos... Omega...and... All seem to be connected to Dr. Crescent in some way. There’s no other explanation. I think we’ll need to gather more data on her to get anywhere.
:''[alarm goes off]''
:'''Reeve''': What now?!
:''[Azul destroys security camera]''
:'''Shalua''': Damn!
:''[Shalua shuts all the security doors]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Azul''' ''[to Deepground soldiers]''  Move.
:''[slams and breaks open a door]''
:'''Azul''' Painless. ''[to Deepground soldiers]'' Go!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Reeve''': ''[through loudspeakers]'' Vincent! The enemy has reached the main gate. Hurry!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Shalua is feverishly typing at computer; looks up at the monitor for the busted security camera and faintly sees Shelke pass]''
:'''Shalua''': ''[leaps up]'' What?! It couldn’t be!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''WRO Soldier''': ''[as Vincent comes running up]'' Mr. Valentine! A sizable enemy unit is heading strait for the Command Center. Please sir! You have to help the Commissioner! Agh!
:''[bullet barely misses her; Vincent charges through doorway as bullets fly past]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Cait Sith''': Take that!
:''[Deepground soldier flies by and hits a wall; Cait Sith and Reeve emerge from doorway and see Vincent]''
:'''Reeve''': Don’t worry, I’ll be fine here. But Vincent, the Tsviets. Azul is still on the loose.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is walking towards Shalua; an invisible Shelke is following him, barely visible; Shalua pulls a gun and points it at Shelke, but also at Vincent]''
:'''Shalua''': Don’t move!
:''[Vincent tenses; but Shelke steps away from him and becomes visible]''
:'''Shelke''': Very perceptive of you.
:''[Vincent quickly crosses over to stand next to Shalua]''
:'''Shalua''': I knew it. Shelke.
:'''Shelke''': ''[coldly]'' I have no acquaintances in the WRO.
:'''Shalua''': We… we both changed so much. No, you… you haven’t changed at all. Not in ten years.
:''[Shelke gives a low gasp]''
:'''Shalua''': Shelke, it’s me! Shalua.
:''[Shelke turns painfully away]''
:'''Shalua''': I’ve been… I’ve been searching for you for so long.
:''[goes to touch Shelke; Shelke whirls and whips out her weapons; she powers them up and points one in Shalua’s face]''
:'''Shelke''': Don’t take another step.
:'''Shalua''': Shelke.
:'''Shelke''': It doesn’t matter who I am or who you are. My currant mission as a Deepground soldier is all that is [[relevant]].
:'''Shalua''': ''[desperately]'' No! It does matter! Even though ten years have passed, you’re still Shelke, my only sister!
:''[Shelke depowers her weapons and turns away]''
:'''Shelke''': Ten years. Has it been that long. The day they came to take me away I was told I had potential. But those words were nothing but a precursor to a decade of suffering. They manipulated my mind until I was a shadow of my original self. The pain… the fear. For ten years I lived in hell far deeper than any you could imagine. But look at me; I should be nineteen this year. If I don’t receive my daily dose of Mako, this body wouldn’t last a day. However, I don’t consider myself the least bit unfortunate. Except…
:''[Shelke turns to look at Shalua]''
:'''Shelke''': That for so long I held on to a foolish thread of hope; that someday someone would come to save me.
:''[Shalua falls to her knees and starts to cry]''
:'''Shalua''': I’m sorry, Shelke. I’m so sorry...
:''[Shelke powers her weapons up]''
:'''Shelke''':  It’s time to put the past behind us.
:'''Reeve''': Stop this!
:''[Reeve runs up suddenly behind Shelke; Shelke turns]''
:'''Shelke''': Reeve Tuesti.
:'''Reeve''': So, you are Shalua’s youngest sister.
:'''Shelke''': Excellent. Now I can terminate both of you at once—
:'''Reeve''': Look at her! That’s the price Shalua has paid fighting Shinra for the past ten years. She has given more than her arm. More than her eye. She has put her life on the line time and time again. All to find her lost sister. More than half her organs have been reconstructed. Not a day goes by when Shalua doesn’t suffer the pain of a thousand souls. But still, she...
:'''Shelke''': ...Enough. I’ve... I’ve heard enough.
:''[raises her weapons again; Vincent whips out his gun and points it at her]''
:'''Reeve''': Stop!
:''[Reeve pulls out pistol and shoots pipe above them; water comes spraying out; Vincent runs and grabs Shalua, protecting her, as water puts Shelke’s blades out just in time as she swings at Shalua’s head; Shelke halts]''
:'''Reeve''': Vincent.
:''[Vincent nods and pulls a limp Shalua away to safety; Reeve gives Vincent narcotic bullets]''
:'''Reeve''': Use these.
:''[Vincent takes bullets and loads gun; walks away]''
:'''Shalua''': ''[rouses]'' Shelke…? Shelke?!
:'''Reeve''': Don’t worry. The bullets will only sedate her. Let Vincent handle this.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[after Vincent and Shelke battle; narcotic bullet hits Shelke]''
:'''Shelke''': Ugh…
:''[Shelke collapses unconscious]''
:'''Shalua''': Shelke!
:''[Shalua runs to Shelke and holds her; Vincent and Reeve discreetly leave]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Azul busts through roof; lands in front of Vincent]''
:'''Azul''' We meet again. Answer me this; do you know why you even exist?
:''[Vincent remains silent]''
:'''Azul''' Hmph, just as I thought. Ignorant to your own destiny. Very well, I’ll show you what you really are—!
:''[Vincent shoots explosive at Azul’s feet; Azul emerges from the explosion unscathed because of his shield]''
:'''Azul''' Hah! You think that toy can penetrate my armor? Enough of the games, ''Vincent''. Give me the Protomateria.
:'''Reeve''': Vincent! Over here!
:''[Vincent backs away towards Reeve, still shooting at Azul; the bullets are blocked harmlessly by his shield]''
:'''Azul''' You can’t run!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Reeve and Vincent are running from Azul]''
:'''Reeve''': Vincent!
:''[Vincent nods; grabs a bazooka lying randomly on the floor; he turns and shoots it at Azul; the following explosion sends Reeve and Vincent flying backwards]''
:'''Vincent''': ''[getting up]'' You shouldn’t leave those things lying around.
:''[Reeve starts laughing; suddenly Azul walks out the dust of the explosion; his shield shatters; Azul starts laughing maniacally]''
:'''Azul''' Well done. You have broken through my barrier.
:'''Vincent''': ''[to Reeve]'' This ends here. Leave him to me.
:'''Azul''' Long has it been since I faced… a worthy opponent!
:''[after Azul and Vincent battle]''
:'''Azul''' You may think this is the end, but…
:''[stagger and falls on his back]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is walking away]''
:'''Reeve''': Where are you...
:'''Vincent''': ''[turns]'' Nibelheim.
:'''Reeve''': Wait. Shinra Manor? But that is where... Understood. However, be on your guard. We have reports of Deepground units deployed in that area. If you wish to enter the manor in one piece, I suggest you use the sewer system extending from the old Mako Reactor.
:'''Vincent''': The sewers… how appropriate is that.
:''[walks away]''
:'''Reeve''': Now, as for me and my feline companion, it’s time we found what Deepground is truly up to.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent enters elevator; leans against wall and recalls memories; he’s facing Lucrecia in Turk outfit]''
:'''Vincent''': Vincent Valentine, reporting for duty, ma’am. I’ve been assigned your protection.
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[gasps]'' No…
:'''Vincent''': Huh?
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[to herself]'' Why would they... send his…
:'''Vincent''': Excuse me?
:'''Lucrecia''': Uh, oh! ''[flustered and trying to cover her first reaction]'' I apologize! This is the first time I’ve ever met anyone from the Turks! Lucrecia Crescent. Pleased to make your acquaintance, Mr. Valentine.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Cait Sith is falling downwards]''
:'''Cait Sith''': AHH!
:''[tries gripping the wall; claws slip and leave scratch marks behind as he continues to fall; he lands and continues to walk around]''
:''[…]''
:'''Cait Sith''': This has got to be the place!
:''[later on he sees container of people going by]''
:'''Cait Sith''': Och, that’s the same container I saw at Kalm!
:''[later on he sees the container of people fall screaming towards a strange substance]''
:'''Cait Sith''': What! Good gracious me!
:''[giant hand reaches out from the substance and seizes container and drags it under]''
:'''Cait Sith''': ''[horrorstruck]'' Wha…! What in the blazes is growing down there?
:''[Nero emerges from darkness behind Cait Sith]''
:'''Nero''': Usher of souls. My brother. Omega.
:'''Cait Sith''': It’s Nero the Sable! Oh dear—
:''[darkness engulfs him]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent walks into room, gun at ready; sees a glowing ball roll towards him; he pick it up and it erupts into light; Lucrecia is suddenly behind him]''
:'''Vincent''': ''[startled]'' Lucrecia.
:'''Lucrecia''': Vincent. Right. Have you... come to check up on me?
:''[Lucrecia slowly approaches Vincent; he opens his arms but she walks through him, being nothing but a hologram]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Omega. His awakening is upon us.
:''[the room goes white; Lucrecia is now in the crystal cave, moving towards the large crystal in the middle of the room]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Soul wrought of terra corrupt, quelling impurity, purging the stream to beckon forth an ultimate fate. Behold mighty Chaos, Omega's squire to the lofty heavens. I came across this passage while studying the scriptures of the Ancients. The Chronicles of Yore. Omega: The end. Just as all other sentient beings, he too, is born of the Lifestream. However, his only purpose is to cleanse the planet of all things living and lead their immortal souls through the abyssal aether to a new beginning far, far beyond the never ending sea of stars.
:''[light starts to build above Lucrecia’s hands until a single orb forms; then it shatters]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Just as life circulates through our planet, so too, does our planet through the universe. Or at least in theory. However…
:''[the crystal room falls away around Lucrecia into a galaxy]''
:'''Lucrecia''': What I can be certain of is, if Omega awakens, then all life as we know it will end. And when Omega has embarked on his journey to the cosmos, our planet will die.
:''[back in original room]''
:'''Lucrecia''': I will leave a copy of my records here for you, Vincent. Though I... I cannot imagine what help they might be, if any at all. Just remember… ''[bows head]'' I am so sorry.
:''[hologram of Lucrecia disappears; glowing ball breaks in Vincent hand; Vincent lurches forward]''
:'''Vincent''': Lucrecia...

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is walking; suddenly drops to his knees in pain; then a memory of him in a life support tank with Lucrecia peering at him from the outside surfaces]''
:'''Vincent''': This pain…
:'''Rosso''':  Well, well, we meet again. This is perfect. I so wanted to see you, my love.
:'''Vincent''': ''[stands]'' Deepground. What are they attempting to do with Omega?
:'''Rosso''':  I don’t know, and to be honest, I don’t care.
:'''Vincent''': What?
:'''Rosso''':  But this is what Weiss desires. Hail Weiss. And what Weiss orders, we do. It’s very simple. If he desires the awakening of Omega, then that is what all of Deepground desires. We could care less what happens to the planet. But all this matters little to me. It’s not everyday you are given the chance to cleanse the world of all life. Just the thought sends a chill of excitement through my body. The Deepground soldiers were born and bred to kill. We were chained to a destiny of servitude. But then three years ago, we were freed from our chains. But waiting for us was darkness lit only by the faint glow of Mako. And what do you think we did when we gained our freedom, hmm?” ''[laughs]'' “We killed. It was how we were raised. That is all we knew. And so I bathed in the blood of a thousand soldiers. And I enjoyed it. I reveled in it. And when I finally stepped out of the abyss, I craved for more. You understand, right?
:'''Vincent''': ''[pulls gun out and points at Rosso]'' I don’t think so.
:'''Rosso''': ''[backing away]'' How can you say that, darling? You are the same!
:''[Rosso leaps away and runs; Vincent chases but is stopped by an enemy robot]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[After Vincent battles enemy robot; Rosso sneaks up on him; as Vincent turns she stabs him in the chest with her arm and wrenches the Protomateria out of his chest; Vincent crumples to the floor]''
:'''Rosso''': I'm sorry. Were you not expecting that?
:''[watches Vincent contorting on the ground as he changes to Chaos form and then returns to his own]''
:'''Rosso''': Ahh… So, you cannot control the beast without this. Well, there will be no need for it when I'm done with you!
:''[kneels to kill Vincent; mysterious figure throws weapon at her; they battle and a sudden light blinds Rosso temporarily; she looks around and snarls when she sees that the figure and Vincent are gone]''
:'''Rosso''': Wutai flea!!
:''[runs out the manor and looks around; then brings her fist down into the ground in fury]''
:'''Rosso''': AHHH! If you manage to survive that wound… I’ll make sure you don’t survive the next one! ...But no matter. The end is upon us.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Past Vincent is talking with Hojo in a room]''
:'''Past Vincent''':  Is it true?
:'''Hojo''':  Is what true?
:'''Vincent''': That Lucrecia— that Dr. Crescent is to take part in this project?
:''[Lucrecia walks in]''
:'''Lucrecia''': It’s true.
:''[walks up to desk Hojo is sitting behind]''
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[coldly]'' Why are you so surprised?
:'''Vincent''': But using your own child... for an experiment?
:'''Hojo''':  Hah! I don’t know what you’re implying, but both of us are scientists, and we know what we are doing. You are the last person to have any word in this! Now, leave us at once, boy!
:'''Vincent''': But...
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[harshly]'' But what? ''[as Vincent hesitates]'' If you have something to say, then say it.
:'''Vincent''': Are you... are you sure this is what you really want?
:'''Lucrecia''': Am I sure?! Am I sure?! If this only concerns me, then yes I am sure!
:'''Vincent''': Oh... I... I just... ''[narrating]'' All I did was watch. I didn't even try to stop her. And then...
:''[shows Lucrecia walking, when suddenly she collapses; scenes of Jenova and Sephiroth flash by as she holds her womb in pain]''
:'''Vincent''': That was my sin. And this... this... is my punishment.
:''[Vincent wakes to realize he’s transformed into Chaos; after the initial shock, he screams in horror; the screen goes black; Vincent is in the crystal cave; he looks up at Lucrecia, frozen in the crystal]''
:'''Vincent''': I... I saw you again. It was the place we first met. But you were... No, I’m the one to blame. I couldn’t stop you that day. I just—
:'''Lucrecia''': ''You must fight.''
:'''Vincent''': Lucrecia.
:''[screen goes black]''
:'''Lucrecia''': ''I’m so sorry.''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent wakes lying on a bench; he looks over at figure sitting opposite him wearing a hooded robe; figure waves]''
:'''Yuffie''': Morning.
:'''Vincent''': Where... Who are you?
:''[Yuffie stands and goes into 'heroic' pose]''
:'''Yuffie''':  Well, I'm glad you asked. I am the champion of the earth and the sky. I am the conqueror of evil. The single white rose of Wutai!
:''[Yuffie flings off her robe]''
:'''Yuffie''': Yuffie Kisaragi! ''[jumps onto bench]'' Feast your eyes on—
:''[loses her balance and falls backwards; knocks her head against a computer console]''
:'''Yuffie''': Owww! Ow!
:''[continues to wail while cradling her head; Vincent watches then looks up at ceiling, completely nonchalant]''
:'''Vincent''': So, where are we?
:'''Yuffie''': ''[slightly annoyed]'' Come on! Aren't you at least a ''little'' concerned?
:'''Vincent''': ''[looks back at her, voice still neutral]'' Oh, Yuffie... It's been a while... How's your head?
:'''Yuffie''': You-! Could you at least ''pretend'' to be sympathetic?
: ''[Vincent starts to sit up; he stops, clutching his chest and groans in pain; Yuffie leaps up, concerned]''
:'''Yuffie''': Ah, hey! Take it easy. That was a big hole you had in your chest.
:'''Vincent''': A hole in my chest?
:'''Yuffie''': Uh-huh. I seriously thought you were a goner, but then the wound healed itself right up. ''[spins a couple of times]'' You were always &quot;different&quot;, but I guess that's why you're still breathing.
:'''Vincent''': Yuffie, what are you doing here?
:'''Yuffie''': Me? I’m just helping out Reeve and his gang. I was poking around Nibelheim and I found you looking all corpselike in Shinra Manor. So I saved you!  Imagine that — me, saving the great–
:''[spins in place]''
:'''Yuffie''': -Vincent Valentine! Do I get any thanks? ''[laughs]''
:'''Vincent''': ''[chuckles, but completely serious]'' Thanks, Yuffie.
:''[Yuffie is caught off-guard; waves hands in front of her, flustered]''
:'''Yuffie''': No, no, whoa. I didn't mean for you to take me so seriously. A-anyway, Reeve wanted us to contact him as soon as you woke up.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[the screen is blank]''
:'''Reeve''': Vincent has come to? Excellent.
:''[A TV screen flickers on; Reeve is standing there]''
:'''Reeve''': I have good news. Using you-know-who, I was able to infiltrate Midgar. However, what I saw wasn't the prettiest of pictures. Omega. I should’ve known. We cannot let them sacrifice the lives of any more people. Once we’ve gathered our forces we’ll launch a full offensive. Of course we’ll require the help of you two as well. Please hurry back to headquarters. Oh, I’m analyzing the data files you sent earlier. I should have results soon. Tuesti out.
:''[screen goes blank]''
:'''Yuffie''': There you have it! I don't know what's going down, but it sounds big. I've been waiting a long time to get my hands on those Deepground punks. They've had their way long enough. Now it's time to give them a taste of pain a-la-Yuffie.
:''[mimes a few boxing moves]''
:'''Yuffie''': Just give me 3 minutes with those guys. No, make it 2. Well maybe 3...or 4... Well, it really depends on how many there are. But I think if there was 5, I could probably take them in 2...or 2 in 5, or 3 in 4...

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Shelke wakes in life support tank; ]''
:'''Shelke''': ''[narrating]'' Where am I?
:''[gets out; sees Shalua asleep at desk; stands beside her silently; picks up her weapon lying on the desk; Shalua wakes]''
:'''Shalua''': Shelke! ''[stands as Shelke backs away]'' How are you feeling?
:'''Shelke''': ''[powers up her weapons]'' You were a fool to let your enemy live. Now I’m going to kill you and return to Deepground.
:'''Shalua''': I don’t think so. I have to admit, I wasn’t myself back there. Seeing you for the first time in ten years left me in a spin. But I’ve had time to recover. And I’m not letting you get away. Not this time. There’s no way I’m going to let you kill me, and there’s no way I’m going to let you go back to Deepground.
:'''Shelke''': I don’t recall needing your permission to do anything.
:'''Shalua''': And I don’t remember ''you'' ever being able to win one of our fights. Do you? How about it? You wanna try your luck?

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[talking to screen]''
:'''Reeve''': Understood. You may begin mobilization.
:'''WRO Soldier''': Commissioner, we’re being—! ''[screams]''
:'''Reeve''': Officer?
:''[panicking WRO soldiers start calling in then are stopped]''
:'''Reeve''': Deepground?!
:''[whirls to see Deepground solder pointing weapon at him; the solder fires and the screen goes black]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Shalua and Shelke are still at standoff; voice comes through loudspeakers]''
:'''Loudspeaker''': Emergency. Emergency.
:'''Shalua''': They’re back? Why?
:'''Loudspeaker''': All Squabble Squads report to stations. All others proceed to the underground barracks. Emergency. Emergency.
:'''Shelke''': They were waiting for Azul.
:'''Shalua''': Azul?
:'''Shelke''': His death was merely a prologue to the true terror.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent and Yuffie are in the Shadowfox interior]''
:'''WRO Soldier''': We’ll be arriving shortly. What the hell!?
:''[the vehicle jerks; Yuffie flies out of her seat]''
:'''Yuffie''': Ahh!
:''[she rolls to the back and hits her head; Vincent leaps out vehicle and battles the enemies outside]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent walks into WRO headquarters; voices are blaring over loudspeakers]''
:'''WRO Soldier 1''': This is Headquarters! We need backup now!
:''[someone screams in background and goes silent]''
:'''WRO Soldier 2''': Get away!
:'''WRO Soldier 1''': What is that thing!?
:''[both soldiers cry out and go silent; Vincent runs deeper into building]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Soldiers are shooting at monster; soldier is thrown across hall and hits the others]''
:'''Vincent''': ''[sees the monster]'' What the hell…?
:'''Shalua''': Azul.
:''[Vincent looks over and sees Shalua and Shelke; Azul attacks; Vincent and Shalua attack it; Azul hits Shalua’s robotic arm; she crumples to the ground, gasping in pain]''
:'''Vincent''': Shalua!
:''[Vincent runs towards her only to be smashed aside by Azul; Shelke watches impassively until Azul hits her; shocked, she pulls out materia that halts Azul’s attacks and transforms him back]''
:'''Shelke''': The extreme potency of this shield materia is comparable to that of your barrier field, Azul.
:'''Azul''': Shelke, why do you stand in my way?
:'''Shelke''': I had to protect myself. You were trying to kill me.
:'''Azul''': Then now is the time.
:''[Azul swings at Shelke; she leaps back, shocked]''
:'''Azul''': You’re no longer required.
:'''Shelke''': No longer…?
:'''Azul''': You’re no different from the others. Your weak body is nothing without Mako. Your only skill is collecting data from inside a virtual reality. It makes me sick to even think of you as a member of the Tsviets! Weiss has ordered your termination.
:'''Shelke''': &quot;Weiss?!&quot;
:'''Azul''': Your mission was to identify and locate the keeper of the Protomateria. That is why we uploaded the doctor's data into your neural network. But now we no longer need it. And we cannot let it fall into the hands of the WRO. Your fate has been decided, Shelke. It is time for you to return to the planet.
:''[Azul starts to walk towards Shelke; she pulls out her materia and halts Azul; Shalua suddenly grabs her hand]''
:'''Shalua''': Vincent! Shelke! Let’s get out of here!
:''[Shalua runs towards door and opens it; Vincent runs in ahead as Shalua tries to pull struggling Shelke with her]''
:'''Shalua''': Come on.
:'''Shelke''': ''[tugging at her arm]'' Let go of me!
:'''Shalua''': I don't think so. We have ten years to catch up on. I'm not gonna let this end here...
:''[suddenly the 'blast' doors start to shut; Shalua gasps and Vincent runs towards them]''
:'''Vincent''': Shalua!
:''[Shalua barely manages to wedge her robotic arm between doors; Vincent tries to pry the doors open; Shalua’s arm starts to crack; she groans]''
:'''Shelke''' Why are you doing this?
:'''Shalua''': ...You can still get through.
:'''Shelke''': Huh?
:'''Shalua''': Go on.
:''[pushes Shelke through]''
:'''Shalua''': Shelke...
:''[false arm starts to break under the pressure; doors slowly closing as Azul approaches from behind]''
:'''Shalua''': I'm sorry I let you suffer... for so long. Vincent... take care of her, will you?
:''[Vincent still trying to pry doors open]''
:'''Vincent''': Wait!
:'''Shalua''': Shelke... I'm glad I was able to find you. And remember, I'll always love you.
:''[arm finally crushes as the doors close; Vincent pounds his fists once against the door in frustration]''
:'''Shelke''': Why?...
:''[a loud bang from the other side of the doors shakes everything; fluid seeps under the doors]''
:'''Shelke''': Why did she... Why? ''[looks down]'' ...Shalua...
:''[Azul bangs against the doors again; Vincent grabs Shelke's arm and pulls her down corridor]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Reeve is sitting amongst the wreckage of his headquarters; he looks up as Vincent approaches]''
:'''Reeve''': I’m so ashamed. I’m supposed to be a hero of the Jenova war. But look at me.
:'''Vincent''': Don’t take all the blame. Reeve.
:'''Reeve''': Huh?
:'''Vincent''': You’re not thinking of giving up, are you?
:''[Reeve looks down; Vincent crouches down next to him]''
:'''Vincent''': I used to be nothing but a stone in the river of time. But three years ago, it was you and the others who taught me I had to move ahead.
:'''Reeve''': Vincent...

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent enters the room where Yuffie is sitting on a computer desk; they both look at Shalua's lifeless body in a container]''
:'''Yuffie''': They... they say she won't wake up. She suffered too much trauma to her head. Unless there's some kind of a miracle, she... she's not...
:''[Yuffie pounds desk]''
:'''Yuffie''': Vincent! You were there! Why couldn't you save her?
:'''Vincent''': ''[looks down]'' I'm sorry.
:'''Yuffie''': No... I didn't mean to...
:''[Shelke enters the room and looks at Shalua]''
:'''Shelke''': She was a fool.
:''[Yuffie gets up and slaps Shelke across face; Shelke doesn’t move]''
:'''Yuffie''': You have no right to call her that! You don't know...! You don't know what...!
:''[Vincent grips Yuffie’s shoulder and pulls her away from Shelke; Yuffie stops]''
:'''Shelke''': Why...? Why would she do something so...?
:''[almost about to cry, Yuffie races out room]''
:'''Vincent''': Before, when I asked Shalua what she was searching for, she answered ‘her reason to live.’ It was you, Shelke... You were her reason to live.
:'''Shelke''': So? I don't understand... how someone could give her own life for that of another. Do you understand, Vincent Valentine?
:''[Vincent turns away]''
:'''Vincent''': Hm. I can't answer for your sister. But...
:'''Shelke''': But?
:'''Vincent''': When a person has someone they care about that much, giving their life is sometimes the least they can do. And maybe that's what makes us human.
:'''Shelke''': Someone they care about...
:'''Vincent''': Although, ''[turns]'' It seems like there are a lot of people around me who don't need a reason to risk their lives for that of another.
:'''Shelke''': ''[walking forwards]'' And are you...
:''[Shelke stumbles, almost falls to the floor; Vincent catches her and holds her shoulders; her head whips up; she stares up at him; screen goes into flashback]''
:'''Lucrecia''': —cent?...Vincent? Vincent!
:''[Past Vincent wakes up under tree with Lucrecia looking down at him]''
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[playfully]'' Fall asleep here, and you might catch a cold.
:''[Vincent starts up guiltily]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Why are you so surprised? Is my face ''that'' hideous?
:'''Vincent''': ''[flustered]'' No, I didn’t… I’m sorry.
:'''Lucrecia''': And how are you supposed to be my bodyguard if you’re up here sleeping?
:'''Vincent''': Uh... the warm breeze... I was only going to rest my eyes for a minute.
:'''Lucrecia''': Hmm? Well, I have to admit, the breeze is quiet comfortable. However, I think you’re in my seat.
:'''Vincent''': Huh?
:''[Lucrecia pulls picnic basket from behind her back]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Care to join me?
:''[screen goes white; Vincent’s still holding Shelke’s shoulders; she backs away]''
:'''Shelke''': I’m sorry...
:''[turns away and walks a few steps and pauses]''
:'''Shelke''': Why are her data fragments... responding?
:''[door opens and Reeve walks in]''
:'''Reeve''': Vincent.
:''[Vincent looks away from Shelke to Reeve]''
:'''Reeve''': I agree with you. This is not the time for us to give up. But I need to know something; those data files you recovered from Shinra Manor... are you sure there were not any more?
:'''Vincent''': I’m sure.
:'''Reeve''': I see.
:'''Vincent''': What’s wrong?
:'''Reeve''': Well... the Omega Report... the file was incomplete. To make any sense out of it we’ll going to require the other half. If possible I wanted to know more about our foe before we launched the attack on Midgar.
:'''Shelke''': ''[turns slowly]'' Are you speaking of Dr. Lucrecia Crescent's findings?
:'''Reeve''': Yes. But how did you...?
:'''Shelke''': A large quantity of her mnemonic data fragments has been uploaded into my neural network. It was my prime directive to use this data to locate and retrieve the Protomateria. However, not only was the data incomplete, but part of her consciousness began interfering with my own thought processes. It was believed that the missing fragments may have been the reason for this. I can attempt to upload the WRO's files on the Omega Report. By combining it with the data I possess, you may obtain a clearer picture of what you will be up against. And perhaps I can regain control of my mind.
:''[Vincent and Reeve look at each other; Yuffie’s voice comes over loudspeaker]''
:'''Yuffie''': Vincent, Reeve! You’d better get out here!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent and Reeve walk outside and join Yuffie; Yuffie starts jumping up and down and waving her arms at sky]''
:'''Yuffie''': Ciiiiiiid! Hey! Over here!
:''[Cid lands with a whole fleet of ships with him]''
:'''Yuffie''': Wow!
:''[inside ship]''
:'''Cid''': Hah! What the hell we waitin’ for? It’s time to get up and go! Come on, get on board! Heheh!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[inside Cid’s airship; crew member are running the ship; in main hanger]''
:'''Crew Member''': Forward visibility approximately 95%.
:'''Crew Member''': Communications channels clear!
:'''Crew Member''': Radar, functioning normal.
:'''Crew Member''': Network terminals online.
:''[in the engine room]''
:'''Crew Member''': G 9 friction levels are up to 0.024.
:'''Crew Member''': Operating the lower valves!
:'''Crew Member''': Main propeller at 80%.
:'''Crew Member''': Propeller speed at 0.3%!
:''[Vincent boards; Cid sees him from helm and steps away from steering wheel]''
:'''Cid''': Heh-hey, Vincent! Long time!
:'''Crew Member''': ''[yelps]'' Captain!
:'''Cid''': ''[seizes steering wheel]'' Whoa, sorry ‘bout that. As much as I’d like to sit down and reminisce ‘bout old times, you’ll have to take a rain check. Why don’t you have a look around my bird until the meeting?

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent’s inside Cid’s airship in the room they placed the container holding Shalua; Shelke’s typing on the computer]''
:'''Shelke''': After the assault begins the headquarters facilities will no longer be available.” ''[looks over at Shalua]'' And to think, just a few days ago I was the one in there. ''[turns back to computer]'' No, forget I said anything.
:'''Vincent''': What are you working on?
:'''Shelke''': I’m in the process of modifying this equipment so I can perform an SND, a Synaptic Net Dive.
:'''Vincent''': Synaptic Net Dive?
:'''Shelke''': My specialty within the Tsviets. While retaining consciousness, I project an image of myself into a virtual reality called a network. I can also use this ability to negotiate with data on the subconscious plane of sentient life forms. However, this often involves a great risk to my own sanity. For Shinra, the success of the SND project was crucial for their next step in…
:''[Shelke pauses, and turns to Vincent]''
:'''Shelke''': I’m sorry. I seemed to have gotten off track. Simply put, I’m creating a personal network terminal within the airship’s main control console ''[notices Vincent’s looking at the floor]'' What?
:'''Vincent''': Nothing. You just remind me of your sister.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[in the main hanger of Cid’s airship]''
:'''Cid''': Alright, our old buddies and the remaining WRO squads will lead the ground assault.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[a lone truck is driving through the Wastelands. Barret’s driving; Tifa’s in passenger seat; she picks up radio]''
:'''Tifa''': I see it!
:''[the back of the truck opens; Cloud is on his motorbike; he puts his sunglasses on]''
:'''Cloud''': Time to go, Fenrir.
:''[he drives out the back of truck and races ahead]''
:'''Barret''': All right!
:'''Tifa''': Yeah!
:''[panshot shows many more trucks following]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[in main hanger of Cid’s airship; Yuffie’s holding ice pack to her head because of her motion sickness]''
:'''Yuffie''': ...while we launch our attack from the air.
:'''Cid''': Right. So Reeve... you ready?
:'''Reeve''': Yes.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Cait Sith is in the room with Shelke]''
:'''Cait Sith''': Alright, take it away, Shelke!
:''[Shelke places a helmet connecting to a machine on her head and lays back]''
:'''Shelke''': Very well. Data fragment link, successful. Commencing Synaptic Net Dive in three... two... one...
:''[Shelke jerks and the screen goes black]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Cid, Reeve, Yuffie and Vincent are all in the main hanger when everything goes black; the globe in the middle of the room starts to glow]''
:'''Yuffie''': Wow!
:''[Suddenly it throws the hologram of stars out, so now the group is surrounded by a galaxy]''
:'''Cid''': What the... are we in...?
:'''Yuffie''': What... what...!
:''[Lucrecia’s voice echoes around them]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Just as we return to the planet when our lifelight has faded, the planet returns to the cosmos when her time has come.
:''[galaxies whip past them]''
:'''Yuffie''': Wow!
:'''Lucrecia''': Anything that has definite shape will one day cease to exist. The same is true for this world.
:''[shows the planet burning]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Before she takes her final breath, the pure Lifestreams that flow freely beneath her crust will be brought together into one by Omega— the ultimate lifeform.
:''[shows the Lifestream gathering above the planet]''
:'''Lucrecia''': His purpose: to gather all life, sentient and non, and lead it into the sea of stars where it will embark on a fabulous journey along a road untraveled.
:''[the Lifestream zooms away into the galaxy]''
:'''Lucrecia''': However, when Omega has lifted the life from this planet, all that will remain will be an empty shell destined to die silently in the limitless void of space.
:''[shows the planet cracking slowly and drifting apart]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent’s leaning against wall; suddenly in loudspeakers he hears Lucrecia’s voice, which turns into Shelke’s]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Omega is—
:'''Shelke''': –the same type of life form as the Weapons we encountered three years ago. The planet gave birth to these creatures to protect itself just as the planet will ultimately give birth to the final Weapon, Omega, when the end of the world is imminent. In essence, Omega is an elaborate safety mechanism designed solely to maintain and protect the flow of life. Normally, Omega poses no threat to us. It only manifests when the planet has detected something that may cause her danger.
:'''Reeve''': However, Deepground is attempting to awaken the beast early. Thus the kidnappings.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Reeve''': By slaughtering thousands of innocent souls, they are creating a pure Lifestream in order to trick the planet into thinking the end is near.
:'''Cid''': Yah!! Why those conniving...! I don't know what this Weiss character is tryin', but he's crazy if he thinks we're gonna let him get away with it!
:'''Reeve''': Right. Omega is being revived deep beneath Midgar, in Mako Reactor 0. To increase the output of Reactor 0, all the other reactors have been tied into its mainframe. Our objective is to destroy 1 through 8 and slow the reanimation process. Mission details for each squad will be relayed separately.
:'''Cid''': Alright, we still got some time before the big show. You got anythin’ needs tendin' to, do it.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Cid''': ''[debriefing Vincent]'' Vince, don't worry about the reactors. We'll take care of them. You work on those four wackos. I don't like lettin’ you have all the fun, but you know I can't leave my baby here alone. Cloud and the others will be shuttin’ down the power, and there's no way we're lettin' Yuffie go down there by herself. Sorry buddy. Looks like from here on out its Vince versus the Tsviets.
:''[claps Vincent on shoulder]''
:'''Cid''': We’re counting on ya, old pal.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is talking with Reeve]''
:'''Vincent''': So, no costume today?
:'''Reeve''': ''[laughs]'' Headquarters was pretty much destroyed by the Deepground forces. But I was able to salvage a few things.
:''[Cait Sith patters up]''
:'''Cait Sith''': Number 6, ready for action!
:''[optional dialogue]''
:'''Vincent''': ''[speaking to Cait Sith]'' Tell me, Reeve.
:'''Cait Sith''': ''[tilts head]'' Huh?
:'''Vincent''': Who’s backing your operation?
:'''Cait Sith''': Ohh, that.
:''[Cait Sith jumps up on seat and sits; Reeve laughs]''
:'''Reeve''': Actually, I’m not sure. I’ve only met with... a representative. However, the WRO is crucial to this planet’s survival. I’m not concerned with the reasons this person has for helping us as long as he continues writing the checks. Though, I have a feeling it is probably someone who believes he is in debt to the planet.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is in room with Shelke, who is still reclining on the chair where she preformed the SND]''
:'''Shelke''': So... tired. Vincent Valentine?
:'''Vincent''': What?
:'''Shelke''': This feeling... is this what you meant... by doing something for someone... you care about?
:'''Vincent''': Hmh. It seems so.
:'''Shelke''': ''[drowsily]'' Dr. Crescent’s data has begun defragmenting within my mind. I can see many different images. Images she experienced with you. Interference... Recovery... So... so tired...
:''[falls asleep]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent’s walking down corridor when he jerks to a stop in pain]''
:'''Vincent''': Gah!
:''[his vision blurs and goes red as he transforms; he flail wildly and claws groove mark into wall; door ahead of him opens; two WRO soldiers are passing by chatting; he starts to approach them as they walk past without noticing him]''
:'''1 WRO Soldier''': But are you worried about the assault?
:'''2 WRO Soldier''': No way! We’ll be ok, we always are, right?
:'''Lucrecia''': Vincent!
:''[Vincent whirls and sees Lucrecia in the passage behind him; he moves towards her and reaches an arm out; he returns to normal as Lucrecia fades; Vincent stares at place where Lucrecia was]''
:'''Vincent''': What’s happening?
:''[looks down at his hands]''
:'''Vincent''': A dream?
:''[spots the claw marks he made; starts back, shocked, then another bout of pain hits him and he falls on all fours, gasping]''
:'''Vincent''': Am I loosing... control?
:''[panshot shows Shelke watching him from behind; she walks away]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Cid''': Ok, dogs, it’s time! All hands to battle stations!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Azul, Rosso and Nero are watching the assault close in]''
:'''Azul''': A simultaneous attack from land and air. Hmph. I think they may be serious this time.
:'''Rosso''': They had better be! I’ve been so bored lately.
:'''Nero''': His awakening is near. Let tonight be the final chapter.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Cid yells over loudspeaker as WRO soldiers and Yuffie get ready]''
:'''Cid''': Listen up, cause I'm only gonna say this once. If any more of you are killed by those punks, I'll drag you back from Hell and kill you again! You really wanna piss off those S-O-Bs, then why not try staying alive! That's what this war's all about! If you live, everybody behind you lives. If you die, they die! You got that? Now go kick some Deepground-ass!
:'''Yuffie''': ''[along with the other guys in the hanger]'' Yeah!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Shelke walks up to Vincent and Reeve]''
:'''Shelke''': Vincent Valentine.
:''[Shelke hands Vincent a phone]''
:'''Vincent''': What’s this?
:'''Shelke''': Your phone. I retrieved it in Kalm. I modified it slightly. Just dial # VIN to contact my personal terminal directly. From this workstation, I can perform a Synaptic Net Dive into almost any network system in Midgar. I may also be able to help guide you into Deepground.
:''[Vincent and Reeve glance at each other; Shelke notices]''
:'''Shelke''': It’s not what you think. By monitoring your movement, Dr. Crescent’s data fragments are restored within me. ''[defensively]'' I’m simply providing a service for my own benefit.
:'''Vincent''': I didn’t say anything.
:'''Shelke''': ''[is now flustered]'' I, uh… anyway, my resources here are limited. Do not expect too much.
:'''Vincent''': Hmh. I’m counting on you Shelke.
:'''Shelke''': Uh... I... it’s just... I’ve never actually been... counted on by anyone before. ''[recovers; hurriedly]'' Uh—uh, never mind.
:'''Reeve''': Well then, can I ‘count on’ you to keep an eye on the airship while we’re away, as well?
:'''Shelke''': Huh?
:'''Reeve''': I have already witnessed your strength and skill once. This is war, and we have to be ready for anything. Your assistance would be of great help.
:'''Shelke''': My assistance?
:'''Reeve''': Exactly.
:'''WRO Soldier''': Commissioner!
:'''Reeve''': Ah. Excuse me. Vincent, I will see you again before deployment. And Shelke, remember, I’m counting on you.
:''[Reeve runs off; Vincent nods at Shelke before leaving also]''
:'''Shelke''': Fighting for... ''[shakes head]'' No. I have no one... no one to fight for. No one at all.
:''[Shelke walks away]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Cid''': This is it! Go!
:''[ships converge upon Midgar as Deepground horde floods out to meet them; both side fire on each other; shows the hatch on Cid’s airship opening and Vincent, Yuffie and soldiers’ silhouettes]''
:'''Loudspeakers''': Hatch open. Prepare for drop.
:''[switches to scene of Shelke jumping on chair and pulling SND helmet down on head; switches back to opened hatch]''
:'''Yuffie''': See you boys later!
:''[first group slides out ship and zooms towards ground on flying skateboard-looking things]''
:'''Yuffie''': Who-hoo!! Going down!
:''[switches to scene of Shelke in helmet]''
:'''Shelke''': Advance squad away; secondary squad, prepare for drop.
:''[switches to scene of trucks zooming towards Midgar; Cloud’s bike is zipping ahead; shows Barret and Tifa in cab of leading truck]''
:'''Tifa''': Barret!
:'''Barret''': Yo!
:''[launches missiles from truck; Cloud zooms ahead on bike; Rosso suddenly attacks him and they both start to battle; Azul grins at sky and fires missile at an airship, which collides with Cid’s]''
:'''Cid''': What the—!
:''[Vincent and second squad team drop out as issuing explosion rocks ship; Vincent glances back at the Shera before zooming downward; switches to Shelke]''
:'''Shelke''': Transmission with bay 9 lost. Damage to the Shera minimal.
:'''Cid''': Damn! They're gonna pay for that!
:''[issuing scene shows Vincent fighting his way downward; he temporarily loses control of his craft several times before making a rough landing]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is walking through sounds of battle when his cell phone rings; he picks up]''
:'''Shelke''': ''[sighs]'' What do you think you’re doing? You have landed several clicks off your target destination. However, considering the location of the enemy, this could work to your advantage. Head for the central complex and locate a means of reaching the top level. You will only be able to enter Deepground from the upper platform. I’ll contact you again. Shelke out.
:''[Shelke hangs up]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[groups of soldiers sees Vincent]''
:'''WRO Soldier''': Mr. Valentine! We... we missed our landing point. This looks like the old Sector 7’s slums. The train graveyard.
:'''Vincent''': Yes, it does.
:'''WRO Soldier''': Sir! I’ve received a radio transmission reporting the remaining air squads have reached the upper level plates and joined the ground forces.
:'''Vincent''': Fine.
:''[Vincent starts walking off]''
:'''WRO Soldier''': Uh… sir?
:''[Vincent pauses and halfway turns]''
:'''WRO Soldier''': Uh… requesting permission to accompany you until we reach the complex.
:'''Vincent''': Do as you wish.
:'''WRO Soldier''': Sir! Thank you, sir!
:''[soldiers run after Vincent]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent bumps into soldier cowering behind crate]''
:'''WRO Soldier''': Ah, eh, I… I was j-just taking a breather!
:''[Vincent eyes him before walking off; soldier leaps up]''
:'''WRO Soldier''': Sir, let me join you!
:''[Vincent pauses and looks back at him]''
:'''Vincent''': Just don’t get in my way.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''WRO Soldier''': ''[to Vincent]'' You know, I was born in Midgar. My brother and I used to play here all the time. My mom didn’t approve, though. After she died, my brother joined a Shinra resistance group, but was killed when the plate fell. I can’t believe this place is still here.
:''[soldier runs up]''
:'''2 WRO Soldier''': Lieutenant! Soldiers!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[WRO soldiers spot their commander and run towards him]''
:'''WRO Soldiers''': Commander!
:''[…]''
:'''WRO Commander''': Vincent Valentine, thank you for your assistance! ''[salutes]''
:''[…]''
:'''WRO Commander''': To reach the central complex, you must proceed through this maze of decommissioned train cars. However, I have received reports that beyond the graveyard are some of the enemy’s most powerful defenses.
:'''Vincent''': Alright. I’ll see what I can do.
:''[starts walking off]''
:'''WRO Commander''': Wait! I can’t let you go without backup—
:'''Vincent''': No. You heard what Cid said. Your job is to live. If you come with me, chances are you’ll all die.
:'''WRO Commander''': ...Understood. I’ll remain here until the current situation has improved. ''[salutes]'' Good luck, sir.
:'''WRO Soldiers''': Sir!

 &lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[soldier sitting on ground whips gun up until he sees it’s Vincent]''
:'''WRO Soldier''': Vincent Valentine.
:''[camera fades out, then fades back in]''
:'''Vincent''': There’s no way out of here?
:'''WRO Soldier''': None. I looked all over but found nothing. It looks like we’re both stuck in here.
:''[Vincent pulls phone out and dials]''
:'''Vincent''': Shelke.
:'''Shelke''': Vincent Valentine.
:''[camera fades out, then fades back in]''
:'''Shelke''': The only way out of the graveyard is through a nearby underground passage.
:'''Vincent''': Where?
:'''Shelke''': I’m uploading the location now.
:''[camera fades out, then fades back in]''
:'''Shelke''': Also, up ahead, Deepground has established a heavy line of defense. You probably won’t even break a sweat- but I thought I would let you know.
:''[Shelke hangs up]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent’s phone rings; he picks up]''
:'''Shelke''': Vincent Valentine. You’ve reached the central complex. Proceed up to reach the plate surface.
:''[Shelke gasps]''
:'''Vincent''': What’s wrong?
:'''Shelke''': The approaching Deepground squa- No, it's nothing. I'll contact you agai—
:''[Deepground troops with jetpacks fly in]''
:'''Shelke''': Ariel troopers. Good luck, Vincent.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Rosso''': Ahh. Still alive, I see. And you call yourself human.
:'''Vincent''': More human than you.
:'''Rosso''': More human than I? ''[throws head back and laughs]'' Tell me something I don't already know, darling. I'm a Tsviet! I traded in my human weaknesses for power long ago. It is the path I've chosen. And the path I'll tread. Until I've sucked all life from this pitiful world! And I'm not going to let you get in the way. You've lived long enough, Vincent Valentine. And I'll make sure you don't come back this time... by slicing you into pieces!
:''[…]''
:'''Rosso''': Do you know why they call me the Crimson, darling? Let me show you!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[after Vincent defeats Rosso; she’s lying on the floor, gasping in pain; she starts to rise, seeing Vincent through red blurred eyes]''
:'''Rosso''': Someone…. stronger… than… than…! A… ah… absurd! ''[shouts]'' Absurd!... Our time here together is done. But the mighty Azul waits.
:''[turns and runs towards edge of platform; turns]''
:'''Rosso''': I will not grant you the pleasure of killing Rosso the Crimson! No one will ever stand above me!
:''[throws a beam of light that cuts stone holding edge to platform]''
:'''Rosso''': No one!
:''[cuts it twice more as she shouts]''
:'''Rosso''': No one! No one!
:''[edge starts to fall away from platform; Rosso throws her head back and laughs as she falls out of sight]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent’s phone rings; he answers]''
:'''Shelke''': Vincent Valentine.
:'''Shelke''': The ground squads have not been able to penetrate the Deepground defenses. The Mako Reactors are still operating at full capacity.
:'''Vincent''': So it seems.
:'''Shelke''': What’s your location?
:'''Vincent''': Shinra Building. Or what remains of it.
:''[shows the building on fire in several places]''
:'''Shelke''': The same as it was three years ago, though after Meteor fall, there wasn’t much left of Midgar at all. With the exception of Deepground. The passage to Deepground should be located within Shinra Building. Search for the president’s personal entrance.
:'''Vincent''': Alright.
:''[Vincent gasps as a bout of pain hits him; his vision wavers and the screen goes black; noises like a snarling beast sound; shows Vincent on his knees; Shelke’s voice comes from phone on ground]''
:'''Shelke''': Is something wrong?
:''[a Deepground creature tries to attack him from behind; Vincent kills it with one blow without turning and slowly stands; he suddenly roars at sky as his eyes glow]''
:'''Shelke''': Vincent!
:''[screen goes black, then shows Vincent breathing hard and staring wildly at hands, starting to panic]''
:'''Vincent''': What’s going on!? Why is Chaos...? Why... why now?
:'''Shelke''': ''[sighs]'' You really don’t know, do you. The Protomateria helped you control Chaos. Now that you’ve lost it your mental state has become extremely unstable.
:'''Vincent''': Protomateria? Control Chaos?
:'''Shelke''': Yes. If you recall, you had it extracted from your chest by Rosso.
:''[Vincent looks down at his chest; Shelke is silent for a moment, then starts to speak, but with Lucrecia’s voice]''
:'''Shelke''': Chaos. While a part of you, the entity exists independently from the rest of your body.
:'''Vincent''': Shelke?
:'''Shelke''': Chaos. The harbring of anarchy.
:''[Vincent whirls to see a transparent Lucrecia behind him]''
:'''Vincent''': Lucrecia!
:''[Lucrecia slowly starts to approach him, her and Shelke’s voices speaking together]''
:'''Shelke and Lucrecia''': Born before the planet dies, he shall gather together all life ''[goes to Lucrecia’s voice only]'' for Omega's journey to the sea of stars. ''[goes to Shelke’s voice only]'' That is Chaos. ''[goes to Lucrecia’s voice]'' And he slumbers ''[both voices]'' inside you.
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[both voices melding]'' I’m so sorry. You must fight him! I don’t want you to die!
:''[Lucrecia vanishes]''
:'''Vincent''': Lucrecia!
:''[switches back to Shelke]''
:'''Shelke''': You must fight him! I don’t want you to die!
:''[her helmet starts to sputter and sizzle; she sits up; alarms go off in the Shera; she gets up]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Cid''': Hey, engine room! What the hell’s going on down there!? Engine room! Damn it.
:'''Shelke''': ''[walks in]'' What is wrong?
:'''Cid''': Don’t have a damn clue. All of a sudden engine levels began droppin’ like crazy! We haven’t taken any direct hits so everything should be workin’ like clockwork!
:'''Shelke''': I will go have a look.
:'''Cid''': Thanks! I’m countin’ on ya.
:''[Shelke is silent for a moment, and then she runs off]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Shelke runs down to engine room and stops as she sees it on fire without anyone there]''
:'''Shelke''': It can’t be...
:'''Nero''': ''[from behind her]'' Fancy meeting you here, Shelke.
:'''Shelke''': ''[turns]'' You.
:'''Nero''': Quite unexpected.
:'''Shelke''': Why did you come here, Nero?
:'''Nero''': Why..? I was— short a few souls and came to collect.
:'''Shelke''': What did you do with the crew?
:'''Nero''': ''[chuckles]'' Need you ask? Look around; my mission is complete.
:'''Shelke''': Oh.
:''[looks over and sees a Cait Sith lying on the ground; pulls out her weapons]''
:'''Nero''': And what do we think we are doing?
:'''Shelke''': I... I don't really know. However, since coming here I have realized one thing. I don't want to let down anyone who's counting on me.
:'''Nero''': ''[long pause]'' Pure nonsense.
:'''Shelke''': Nonsense? Perhaps.
:''[Shelke powers her blades up and attacks; the two battle]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent tries calling Shelke but can't reach her; almost instantly after he hangs up his phone rings; he answers; battle sounds come through]''
:'''Tifa''': Hey, I got through!
:'''Vincent''': Tifa?
:''[Barret bellows loud enough for Vincent to hold phone away from ear]''
:'''Barret''': What? You got through? Yo-ho-ho! Vincent! You still alive?
:'''Tifa''': Of course he is, we're talking to him, aren't we? And do you really have to shout right next to my ear?
:''[Barret laughs; Vincent flinches from phone again]''
:'''Barret''': Sorry 'bout that, Tifa.
:'''Tifa''': I apologize, Vincent. Here's Cloud.
:'''Cloud''': Vincent?
:'''Vincent''': Cloud. It's been a while.
:''[camera fades out, then fades back in]''
:'''Vincent''': Cid's airship?
:'''Cloud''': We lost contact about 15 minutes ago. I don't think we have to worry, though.
:''[sword clanging in the background]''
:'''Cloud Strife''': Those two should be fine.
:''[more sword clanging]''
:'''Vincent''': Yeah. And what about you?
:'''Cloud''': ''[half laughs]'' What do you think?
:'''Tifa''': Right! You can count on us!
:'''Barret''': ''[once again loud enough for Vincent to hold phone away from ear]'' When I'm through, there won't be a single sucka standing!
:'''Vincent''': ''[gives a small laugh]'' Right.
:'''Cloud''': And as for you—?
:'''Vincent''': Don’t worry. Leave Deepground to me.
:'''Cloud''': Can you hold on a second? Tifa.
:'''Tifa''': Got it! Vincent, I’m sending you a map of the Shinra Building. Deepground is below the complex. Take an elevator as far down as you can. Good lu—
:'''Barret''': ''[shouting]'' Give 'em hell, Vincent!
:'''Tifa''': Barret, I thought I told you to...!
:'''Cloud''': Don’t go getting yourself killed, now.
:''[they hang up; Vincent closes phone and walks to elevator]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent walks into room where Azul is waiting for him]''
:'''Azul''': So... Rosso didn’t survive.
:''[the air around Vincent flares]''
:'''Azul''': Ohh. Something inside you wants out. Its stench is so very familiar. ''[laughs]'' Come, Vincent! Show me your rage! Now... let the killing begin!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Azul''': ''[laughs]'' This is how a battle should be. Don’t you think so?
:''[pain hits Vincent; he grunts and holds shoulder]''
:'''Azul''': Now... feel my true strength. Feel the wrath of Azul the Cerulean!!
:''[turns into beast]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is walking away from Azul thinking he killed him; suddenly Azul flashes up and charges Vincent, still in beast form; he swings at Vincent, smashing him into wall]''
:'''Azul''': ''[roars]'' Stand. Stand! This isn’t over yet.
:''[Vincent struggles to his feet, then disappears; he reappears beneath Azul and slams his fist into him; Azul erupts into light and returns to his form; Vincent is now in Chaos form]''
:'''Azul''': Chaos.
:''[Vincent/Chaos seizes Azul’s gun and throws it at him, impaling him]''
:'''Azul''': It looks... like you were... more beast... than I. Very well. I’ll see you again, Vincent, in hell.
:''[Vincent/Chaos shoots a beam that throws Azul of edge]''
:'''Azul''': ''[as he’s falling]'' Hail… Weiss! ''[laughs maniacally]''
:''[Vincent/Chaos roars and fumes around; Nero is watching from above out of sight]''
:'''Nero''': So that is Chaos. Intriguing. Soul wrote of terra corrupt. Perhaps I should simply let him live out his destiny of destruction.
:''[Nero disappears but drops a cell phone on the ground; Vincent/Chaos turns and looks at it]''
:'''Lucrecia’s voice''': I’m so sorry.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[flashback; Lucrecia is looking at Past Vincent in a life support tank]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Vincent. Just a little longer. Then I can let you out.
:''[Lucrecia turns but collapses on the ground]''
:'''Lucrecia''': What’s… wrong with me lately… Maybe I’ve been working too hard.
:'''Hojo''': ''[is suddenly in room]'' Hah! I thought I heard a rat down here. And just what do you think you’re doing with my failed experiment?
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[stands and shouts]'' Get out of my lab!
:'''Hojo''': Silence! I’m the one giving orders here!
:''[notices something on Lucrecia’s computer; starts walking towards it, but Lucrecia stands in the way]''
:'''Hojo''': Ahh. Ah ha ha ha ha, Omega? And... Chaos?
:''[looks back at Vincent and starts laughing]''
:'''Hojo''': I see. Another experiment!
:''[Lucrecia gasps, shocked]''
:'''Hojo''': You’re using this fine specimen to finish your thesis, aren’t you, doctor?
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[horrified]'' No! You’re wrong!
:'''Hojo''': Am I? Once a scientist, always a scientist, I must say. How happy this fellow must be, helping his beloved! Even after he’s begun rotting away!
:''[Hojo leaves, laughing uproariously; Lucrecia hides her face in her hands, crying]''
:'''Lucrecia''': No! This is no experiment! It’s—it’s…

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is lying on his back on the floor]''
:'''Vincent''': Chaos. Lucrecia used me to... Lucrecia... So... this pain is...
:''[notices phone and starts to rise; he picks phone up]''
:'''Vincent''': Shelke.
:''[elevator comes to a halt; Vincent starts walking towards doors]''
:'''Vincent''': Deepground. Shinra’s dark secret. Three years of hell below. Now... a world of hell above. The path to darkness opens once more.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is walking when suddenly darkness wells up behind him; Vincent turns and notices it]''
:'''Vincent''': Huh?
:''[makes a dash for it but the darkness engulfs him; he struggles but is overwhelmed; a light suddenly shines through, along with a voice]''
:'''Lucrecia''': No. Don't let Chaos control you. You cannot be contained by this darkness because a part of you was born in it. Find yourself. Regain control.
:''[Vincent stands and manages to get out of darkness]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Shelke is huddled under her shield, trapped in the darkness]''
:'''Shelke''': ''[to herself about Vincent]'' As old as he is and still acting like a helpless child. I can see why Lucrecia had such a difficult time.
:''[her shield starts to crack]''
:'''Shelke''': I don’t know why I’m doing this. I will die when my magic runs out anyway.
:'''Lucrecia’s voice''': Is this...?
:''[Shelke looks up; scene changes to Lucrecia in crystal cave with Grimoire Valentine]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Is this the place you spoke of?
:'''Grimoire Valentine''': Yes. Deep within this grotto is where Chaos is destined to awake.
:''[Lucrecia runs forward with an excited laugh]''
:'''Grimoire Valentine''': ''[laughs]'' W-wait!
:'''Lucrecia''': Come on, Dr. Valentine!
:'''Grimoire Valentine''': ''[laughs again]'' The fountain isn’t going anywhere.
:''[switches to scene of them both in Lucrecia’s lab; Lucrecia is feverishly typing on computer]''
:'''Grimoire Valentine''': Don’t you think you’re taking things a little too quickly?
:'''Lucrecia''': And why not? All those people at Shinra who laughed at my thesis— I have to prove them wrong!
:'''Grimoire Valentine''': Rushing into matters will get you nowhere, doctor. ''[watches Lucrecia typing at computer]'' Heh.
:''[turns to survey a dark mass in one of the life support containers; Lucrecia rises and both look at it when suddenly the container cracks; Grimoire shoves Lucrecia to the side as the dark stuff falls on him; Lucrecia rises and runs to him]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Are you all right, Dr. Valentine!?
:''[Lucrecia stares in horror at the dark stuff on Grimoire’s arm]''
:'''Grimoire Valentine''': I'll... I'll be fine... I'll be…
:''[in front of Shelke, Lucrecia and Grimoire appear as transparent images; Grimoire is on ground with Lucrecia holding his shoulders; he starts to fade]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Dr. Valentine!
:'''Grimoire Valentine''': Tell my son... that I’m... sorry.
:''[Lucrecia shakes head frantically]''
:'''Lucrecia''':  Dr. Valentine! Dr. Valentine!
:'''Grimoire Valentine''': My time has come... to return... to the Lifestream.
:''[Grimoire disappears as Lucrecia lurches forward]''
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[screams]'' NO! No...! Come back! Why did you have to fade away? Why did you...
:''[Lucrecia starts to sob as Shelke watches]''
:'''Shelke''': It’s all right. He simply returned to the planet.
:''[switches to scene of Young Shelke crying in front of grave]''
:'''Young Shalua''': Stop crying, Shelke.
:'''Young Shelke''': But… but…
:'''Young Shalua''': It’s alright. Mom just returned to the planet. We’ll see her again.
:''[Young Shelke tearfully turns to see younger Shalua]''
:'''Young Shelke''': We—we will?
:'''Shelke''': ''Is this…?
:'''Young Shalua''': Of course we will.
:'''Shelke''': ''No... Shalua?
:'''Young Shalua''': Mom said, ‘everything in this world flows around in a circle’. That means she’ll come back someday. Mom wouldn’t lie to us, right?
:'''Young Shelke''': Right.
:'''Young Shalua''': Right!
:''[switches back to Shelke]''
:'''Shelke''': Shalua...
:''[sees an image of Shalua next to her and gasps]''
:'''Shalua''': Shelke. Is it alright for me to return to the planet?
:'''Shelke''': No.
:'''Shalua''': Hmm?
:'''Shelke''': Not... yet. There’s... still so much I...
:''[Shalua places a hand on Shelke head]''
:'''Shalua''':  Don’t worry. We’ll see each other again.
:''[Shelke is back under her shield; she looks slowly up]''
:'''Shelke''': A dream? No... data. Data interference.
:''[tears slide down her cheeks; Shelke starts, stunned, and touches cheek; she stares at hand]''
:'''Shelke''': I didn’t think... I had any... tears left.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[voice comes from beside Vincent]''
:'''Nero''': A pleasure to finally meet you, Vincent.
:'''Vincent''': ''[turns]'' Nero.
:'''Nero''': At first I though you nothing more than a nuisance. However, it seems I can no longer let you run about unchained. I must protect my beloved brother.
:'''Vincent''': Your brother.
:'''Nero''': Dear Weiss. Powerful Weiss. The only person who ever loved me, and the only person I will ever love. However… ''[long pause]'' “Ah, but that is all forgotten. In a matter of moments, everything will change—
:'''Vincent''': What did you do with Shelke?
:'''Nero''': Shelke...? Ah yes, what did I do with her? I do recall running into the lass when I journeyed to the airship. A feisty one, she is. The girl is inside me, lost like a little puppy.
:''[Vincent pulls out gun]''
:'''Nero''': Ah, so you wish to dance.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[after Vincent defeats Nero; he rises from ground]''
:'''Nero''': Impressive. Perhaps Azul and Rosso never stood a chance against the mighty Valentine. But enough. I have other matters to attend to.
:''[darkness envelops Vincent; he looks up and around]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[more cracks start showing up on Shelke’s shield]''
:'''Shelke''': So this is the end.
:''[Vincent stops next to her shield; Shelke looks up at him and gasps; Vincent holds her phone out]''
:'''Vincent''': I think you dropped this. Unless you find something appealing about this place, I suggest we leave. Let’s go.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Nero starts to turn away from the darkness he made when Vincent and Shelke step out of it; he turns and stares at them]''
:'''Nero''': I see. Soul wrote of terra corrupt. My darkness would have no control over you, would it. So I must try a different dance. How about—
:''[darkness surges outward behind him; suddenly a weapon whirls out and lands next to him; Yuffie is above them disguised in her robe; strikes heroic pose]''
:'''Yuffie''': Even in a world where fear and despair reign over the heavens, you must never forget where there is shadow, there is always light! That’s right! Bask in my rays, evildoers. Feel the radiance of Wutai Super Ninja, Yuffie Kisaragi! Back and ready for action!
:'''Nero''': ...My brother calls.
:''[turns and walks into his darkness; Vincent puts his gun back in holster; he crouches down next to Shelke, who is lying on ground]''
:'''Vincent''': Are you alright?
:'''Shelke''': ''[stirs]'' I... I don’t know. Maybe... maybe I was dreaming.
:'''Yuffie''': Hey!! ''[jumps up and down, waving arms]'' I’m over here, guys!
:''[Yuffie suddenly losses balance; she tumbles down and lands in an undignified heap next to them; Vincent heaves a sigh]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Shelke is in Mako tank with Vincent and Yuffie standing outside]''
:'''Vincent''': Will you be alright?
:'''Shelke''': Yes.
:''[Vincent switches the tank on; it fills with Mako]''
:'''Shelke''': Thank you.
:'''Yuffie''': Okay! Now, let me see if I got this. You keep going, find Nero and Weiss, and smack them into next Tuesday. And while you’re cleaning house, I sneak into the Reactor and shut her down! Ha-ha! ''[spins]'' Sounds like a plan! So, see ya around, Vince!
:''[Yuffie runs off; Vincent starts to walk off but stops when Shelke murmurs]''
:'''Shelke''': Vincent Valentine.
:''[Vincent pauses and looks at container]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[flashback: Past Vincent walks into Lucrecia’s lab]''
:'''Past Vincent''': Lucrecia? Hello? Anybody here?
:''[looks around and notices Grimoire Valentine’s profile up on Lucrecia’s computer; Vincent walks up to it in shock]''
:'''Vincent''': Father?
:''[Lucrecia walks in]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Who’s—
:''[sees Vincent in front of computer]''
:'''Vincent''': Lucrecia, this file...
:'''Lucrecia''': It’s... it’s none of your business.
:'''Vincent''': But it is! Why didn’t you tell me you worked with my father!?
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[turns away]'' Stop it!! Just stop it!
:'''Vincent''': Lucrecia...
:''[the background fades away; Vincent’s holding Lucrecia’s hands]''
:'''Lucrecia''': I... it was all my fault. I didn’t mean for your father to die. I couldn't...! I’m so sorry!
:''[she breaks away and runs, crying]''
:'''Vincent''': ''[narrating]'' But I never blamed her. All I wanted was to see her smiling face. But after that day, the light left her heart.
:''[separately, Lucrecia is facing Hojo; he holds his arms out]''
:'''Hojo''': So, you’ve come to your senses and chosen me.
:'''Lucrecia''': Yes, doctor.
:''[Lucrecia embraces him]''
:'''Vincent''': ''[narrating]'' However, if she’s happy, then I don’t mind.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Shelke looks up from inside Mako tank]''
:'''Shelke''': Another…dream?
:''[sees Vincent outside tank]''
:'''Shelke''': Vincent Valentine.”
:'''Vincent''': Hmm?
:'''Shelke''': Why? Why are you fighting this battle?”
:'''Vincent''': To destroy Deepground and stop Omega’s return. It’s time that an end is put to this madness. Or at least, that is what I tell myself. Though... I’m not completely sure that’s the reason.
:'''Shelke''': Not sure. Neither am I. But, Vincent... I don't want to see the world end. I just... I just don't want there to be any more pain.

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent walks into room]''
:'''Vincent''': Yuffie.
:''[Yuffie leaps out corner and lands next to him]''
:'''Yuffie''': You don’t look too roughed up.
:'''Vincent''': Neither do you.
:'''Yuffie''': In there, huh?
:'''Vincent''': Yeah. C’mon.
:''[they both walk into room; they see Weiss and start back]''
:'''Vincent''': This is Weiss?
:'''Yuffie''': It's— h-he's— it's dead?
:'''Nero''': ''[from behind them]'' But not for long.
:'''Yuffie''': Not for long?
:'''Nero''': A new life breaths inside him. Just as one does in you, Valentine.
:'''Yuffie''': ''[looks at both of them]'' Huh?
:'''Vincent''': Ohh. That’s what you’re doing.
:'''Yuffie''': What’s he doing? What’s he doing? What’s going on?! I don’t get it!
:'''Nero''': Soon, my dear brother will awaken. It seems like an eternity since I was granted the knowledge of rebirth.
:'''Vincent''': Granted?
:'''Yuffie''': By who?
:''[ground starts shaking; light starts growing brighter around Weiss]''
:'''Vincent''': What?!
:'''Yuffie''': Omega?
:''[both point weapons at Weiss]''
:'''Nero''': Stay away from my brother!!
:''[shoots darkness at both of them; Yuffie is floating in blackness; she starts screaming as she clutches her head; dark things start heading towards her and envelope her]''
:'''Yuffie''': No! No!!
:''[a sudden light destroys the darkness; Vincent floats in and carries her out; he sets her on the ground to the side]''
:'''Vincent''': You alright?
:'''Yuffie''': What the heck was that?
:'''Nero''': Oblivion perhaps. My darkness— it can absorb as well as extract almost anything. However, some things remain— things as black as the heart of a daemon. Ahh, the essence of death. Its ululations are like a lullaby.
:'''Yuffie''': How can you...
:''[Vincent turns around to face Nero]''
:'''Vincent''': Yuffie, stay here.
:'''Nero''': Ah yes, you were invulnerable to the darkness.
:''[Nero stretches out his arms and transports them both into darkness]
:'''Nero''': No one will take my brother away from me again!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[after fight; Nero clutches himself, gasping]''
:'''Nero''': Weiss…

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[light from room with Weiss in it shines out; Vincent runs into room to see Weiss standing]''
:'''Nero''': Weiss… my beloved brother. It is time.
:''[Weiss starts laughing maniacally]''
:'''Nero''': ''[walks towards him]'' Together… at last. I won’t leave you again. Never. Weiss…
:''[Weiss stabs Nero through with his hand]''
:'''Nero''': Weiss…?!
:'''Weiss''': I’m finished with you.
:''[throws Nero halfway across room to land by Vincent; Weiss laughs and leaps across room; Vincent shoots at him but Weiss block all bullets]''
:'''Weiss''': Your weapons are useless!
:''[lands in front of Vincent]''
:'''Weiss''': My body is one with Omega, just as yours is with Chaos. The difference being Chaos is nothing more than a pawn, whereas Omega is the ultimate weapon that will lead this planet’s soul to the stars. There is nothing that can destroy me. ''[laughs]'' Nothing. Vincent Valentine. And so we meet again.
:'''Vincent''':  What?
:'''Weiss''':  Still in the dark? Three years ago, while I was still running about looking for Sephiroth, I took it upon myself to distribute my data— my mind, my knowledge, my inner being, across the worldwide network. And even though my body had died, and the world had been left in ruin, I survived in a virtual reality. When the network was restored, the scattered data regrouped and I was reborn. A neo-Reunion, you could say.
:'''Vincent''': You... You!
:''[Weiss laughs; his voice begins to morph to Hojo’s]''
:'''Weiss''': That's right, boy. It's me. Hojo!
:''[a hologram of Hojo appears next to Weiss]''
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Let us do this right. Let us do this right. Hello, Vincent, how long has it been? Three years? You know, when I first read it, I thought that woman's thesis was utter nonsense. I couldn’t believe some fabled beast from legend past had anything to do with your survival. However, three years ago, when you transformed into Chaos right before my eyes, I must say I was shocked. Who would have thought her theory was actually valid? And so I began thinking. If Chaos exists, then so too must Omega. And if you could become one, then maybe I could become the other to traverse the cosmos in a blaze of glory! It was the chance of a lifetime! But there was a problem. Only a strong shell could hold back Omega’s might. And it could not be just anyone. You see, boy, the reason you were able to play such a perfect host to Chaos was because my experiments had endowed you with a nearly indestructible body. Thanks to me, you’re standing here today. ''[laughs]'' Now... where was I? Ah yes. I attempted to perfect my body for Omega by injecting myself with Jenova cells. However... that didn’t go as I had planned. ''[pauses]'' I failed to consider the fact that the cells might try to take over my mind and eat away at my soul. And so, as a safety measure, I came up with a brilliant plan; to transmit my neural data across the world wide network! However, after completing this, I realized I still required a durable body. That’s when I remembered Deepground, home to the most powerful beings on this planet! Ha-ha! I even found a willing assistant in the lad Nero here to help carry out my so-called rebirth.”
:''[shows Nero lying dead on the ground]''
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': Though never did he expect I would take control of his beloved brother’s mind! ''[laughs]'' And thus with a new body, I began my final experiment. If the Chaos within you was born of a tainted Lifestream, then the almighty Omega would be born of a pure one. So I had my minions gather up the uncontaminated to create a stream of refined Mako, thus awakening Omega inside me! Genius, I tell you! Ha-ha! Pure genius! Pure genius! Only a scientist of my caliber is worthy to become one with Omega and lead this planet for the stars!
:'''Vincent''': Hojo. I’ve heard enough.”
:''[pulls gun out and fires at Hojo; instantly Weiss bats away all bullets; the two start to fight; Weiss knocks Vincent to the ground]''
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': You’re getting old, Vincent Valentine. ''[laughs]'' You just can’t leave me alone, can you? Now sit right there. I want you to see this.
:''[looks back at room]''
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': And once I have absorbed the Lifestream...
:''[lifts hand; light starts to gather around it; Vincent gets to his feet, causing Weiss/Hojo to turn]''
:'''Vincent''': This isn’t over.
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': ''[laughs]'' So eager to die, are we? Very well. ''[pulls weapons out]'' I wanted to test out this body before I began my journey, anyway!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent is lying on ground]''
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': That wasn’t much of a test.
:''[Vincent stands slowly, starting to glow]''
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': Hmph. Chaos.
:''[Vincent rushes Weiss/Hojo, only to be knocked back]''
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': You already tried that, Vincent.
:''[scene switches to Shelke in Mako tank; she looks up]''
:'''Shelke''': Vincent!
:''[switches back to Vincent lying on floor; he gets up, glowing as Chaos tries to control him; a transparent Lucrecia suddenly appears next to him and speaks with Shelke and Lucrecia’s voice]''
:'''Lucrecia/Shelke''': Vincent! You cannot defeat this enemy by simply trying to overpower him! Take control! Don’t let Chaos rule you! You must rule Chaos! You can do it!
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': Hah! Enough of this charade!
:'''Lucrecia/Shelke''': Please! Vincent!
:''[Lucrecia disappears]''
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': Aha. It looks like our Dr. Crescent has a friend! Hah! But she won’t help you now, Vincent Valentine!
:''[Weiss/Nero sends a bolt of light winging towards Vincent; unexpectedly, he blocks it with his hand; Weiss/Nero starts]''
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': Wha?! Why you! Utilizing the Protomateria to draw forth Chaos while maintaining your human form? Interesting. Let's see what you are capable of.
:''[Weiss/Nero shoots rocks at Vincent, who dodges them with inhuman speed; he attacks, but Vincent avoids his weapons]''
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': But even with the power of Chaos, you won't be able to stop me— stop Omega!”
:'''Vincent''': Hojo.
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': Huh?
:'''Vincent''': I said I've heard enough.
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': What!?
:'''Vincent''': It's time to end this. Right here, right now.
:'''Weiss/Hojo''': You—you insignificant fool!
:''[they battle]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent throws Weiss/Hojo against wall; hologram of Hojo floats above Weiss]''
:'''Hojo''': Wha? Why is Omega’s power fading? Why?
:'''Nero''': Weiss…
:'''Hojo''': What’s going on?
:''[darkness erupts by Weiss’s feet; A dark Nero emerges]''
:'''Nero''': Weiss…
:'''Hojo''': Impossible!
:''[the scene where Weiss/Hojo supposedly kills Nero is replayed]''
:'''Hojo''': Get—get out of me! Omega's host must be pure! Why do you think I had you create Mako untainted by Jenova!? If a filthy being like you infected it…!
:'''Nero''': Silence.
:'''Hojo''': Wha!
:'''Nero''': Silence! I’m speaking with my brother.
:'''Hojo''': You’re what...?
:'''Nero''': Dear Weiss...
:'''Weiss''': ''[stirs]'' Nero.
:'''Hojo''': No!
:'''Nero''': Brother.
:''[Nero kneels next to Weiss]''
:'''Nero''': Let us become one. Let us come together, so that none may ever tear us apart.
:''[Nero embraces Weiss]''
:'''Weiss''': Yes. Let us... Let us go join him.
:'''Nero''': Weiss...
:'''Weiss''': Nero...
:''[Nero fades away; Weiss stands and starts walking towards pool of Mako in center of room]''
:'''Hojo''': No! Stop it! You can't! This is my body now! No! No!
:''[wails as Weiss disappears]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Yuffie''': Vincent!
:''[runs into room]''
:'''Yuffie''': We did it!
:''[pool of Mako in center of room starts to flow outward; Vincent shoves Yuffie out the way as Mako streams converge upon him]''
:'''Yuffie''': Vincent!
:''[leaps away as the streams continue to flow out; Omega erupts out of the Reactors; Vincent escapes out of it but is now in Chaos form]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''Shelke''': ''[to herself]'' Omega has awoken. And Chaos has been drawn out of the shadows to serve as a counterbalance. Or so it would seem. Hmm. However...
:''[walks away from Mako tank; sits down in seat as large helmet-like structure stops over her head]''
:'''Shelke''': In theory, the souls that exist inside Omega should act as a type of virtual network. It wouldn’t be impossible, but maybe I could... ''[sighs]'' Vincent, be grateful that I not only uploaded Lucrecia’s thoughts... but her wishes and dreams as well.
:''[sits back]''
:'''Shelke''': Uplink successful. Now commencing SND.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[an image of Shelke soars above Midgar before plunging into Omega; black tendrils start to wind around her, halting her progress; Shelke reaches forward]''
:'''Shelke''': Just a... little... more...
:''[a sudden light starts to melt away the tendrils; Lucrecia’s hands are holding the Protomateria; Shelke reaches for it]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Here.
:''[Shelke bursts out of Omega and races towards the sky; black tendrils erupt from Omega and race after her, trying to grip her; she breaks free, but more flow up; she finally reaches Vincent/Chaos; Shelke’s hand places the Protomateria into his chest, but when Vincent/Chaos looks down he sees Lucrecia]''
:'''Shelke (as Lucrecia)''': Take this... Vincent.
:''[tendrils wrap around Lucrecia/Shelke and drag her back down into Omega; Vincent roars; now back under his own control]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[flashback; Past Vincent is in life support container in Lucrecia’s lab; Lucrecia look up at him]''
:'''Lucrecia''': No... It’s still not enough. I have to hurry, or the tissue will continue to decay.
:''[she falls to her knees; screen goes black; then her lab comes back]''
:'''Hojo''': I see. Another experiment!
:''[Lucrecia gasps, shocked]''
:'''Hojo''': You’re using this fine specimen to—”
:'''Lucrecia''': ''[horrified, shouts]'' No! You’re wrong! You’re wrong! You’re wrong! I…
:''[Lucrecia stops]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Experiment?
:''[screen goes black; dialogue starts to flash across it]''
:'''Lucrecia''': I found it... With him... That’s why... I couldn’t save him... Proof...? Never again…
:''[shows Lucrecia walking into room after Hojo shot Vincent; Hojo is laughing; Lucrecia sees Vincent on floor and gasps]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Hojo... What have you...!
:'''Vincent''': Lu...cre...cia...
:''[screen goes black; dialogue starts to flash across it]''
:'''Lucrecia''': You had... you had his eyes. I didn’t... I didn’t want to remember/I didn’t want to face the truth. I pushed you away, but... Now I realize.../I never wanted to lose you.
:''[back in Lucrecia’s lab; she’s still on her knees; she presses a hand to her forehead]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Not… not again. Not today. ''[stands]'' Vincent... did you know that your eyes... are exactly like your father’s?
:''[screen goes black; dialogue starts to flash across it]''
:'''Lucrecia''': I’ve done it. Born of the Lifestream. Bringing it all together. Stopping the imminent decay of tissue. But instead...
:''[shows a glimpse of Vincent/Chaos’s contorting face]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Born was.../the Chaos that took him... Away from me.
:''[shows Lucrecia staring up in horror at Vincent thrashing around in Chaos form inside life support tank]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Stop! STOP!!
:''[Protomateria suddenly appears on floor; in tank, Vincent/Chaos stops contorting; screen goes black; dialogue starts to flash across it]''
:'''Lucrecia''': This... The materia... I found.../We found together.
:''[shows Lucrecia agitatedly typing at computer; it cannot perform what she’s trying to do and she hits it in despair]''
:'''Lucrecia''': No!
:''[turns to look at Vincent and falls to her knees]''
:'''Lucrecia''': What am I doing...
:''[shows room from inside life support tank; Lucrecia has Hojo by the shoulders, shaking him]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Give him back!! Give my son back!!
:'''Hojo''': And how does your experiment proceed?
:''[Lucrecia runs away almost hysterical]''
:'''Lucrecia''': I don’t know! I don’t know and I don’t care!!
:''[screen goes black with dialogue flashing across it]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Let me see him! Just once! ...I’m so sorry. I can’t...
:''[Lucrecia is sitting on floor]''
:'''Lucrecia''': I’m sorry. I can’t... take it anymore. My body... my mind...
:''[screen goes black with dialogue flashing across it]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Before I go... Jenova’s cells... Vincent... Stored as data... Must leave... Thought... I loved... Record... Memory copy... For him... It was wrong... Wait... Disperse... ...So sorry... Apply... ...But I... For... Fragment... Survive... Hope... who...?
:''[scene changes to Nero and Shelke]''
:'''Shelke''': Who is she?
:'''Nero''': Dr. Lucrecia Crescent.
:'''Shelke''': So I am to collect the data files— the fragments she left within the network?
:'''Nero''': Correct. Then you are to use that data to find the Protomateria. That is where he requires your assistance.
:'''Shelke''': He...?
:''[Shelke sighs; screen goes black as dialogue goes across it]''
:'''Shelke''': That information is unnecessary. Connect with her, Vincent. Connect with her heart.
:''[shows an unmoving Vincent sitting in the crystal cave; image of Lucrecia lands in front of him]''
:'''Lucrecia''': Hello Vincent. ''[looks around]'' Huh, something’s wrong... ''[starts to walk around Vincent]'' You see, this is me, but only in a sense. It is merely a reflection, created with my remaining data. ''[laughs quietly]'' The real me crumbled away long ago. Vincent. Do you remember our place? Under that tree?
:''[background changes to their picnic spot]''
:'''Lucrecia''': The warm breeze on our skin... I know that it no longer exists. Things fade with time, as do many things in this world. But, there are some things that we cannot let disappear. Hmm? ''[turns to gaze at the motionless Vincent]'' I finally... I finally realized my true feelings. Even if you may never understand them. Not that I mind, though. ''[laughs]'' But… this isn’t how it was supposed to be. I've... I've made too many mistakes. And I’ve hurt you so, so much. Why did I do what I did? I’m so sorry.
:''[screen goes black]''
:'''Lucrecia''': But I'm so happy... you survived.
:''[Vincent is now standing; Lucrecia is gone]''
:'''Vincent''': ''[screams]'' Lucrecia!!!
:''[scene changes back to Vincent flying over Midgar]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Vincent lands and places Shelke down; she looks up at him]''
:'''Shelke''':  You’re late.
:'''Vincent''': Sorry about that.
:'''Shelke''': Huh.
:''[a faint image of Lucrecia floats around Shelke for a moment]''
:'''Shelke''': Not that I mind though.
:'''Vincent''': She— she was always like that. Heh. Only believing what she wanted to.
:'''Shelke''': So Vincent, why don’t you try telling her that yourself?
:'''Vincent''': Maybe I will.
:''[large gun appears in Vincent’s hand]''
:'''Vincent''': But before that, I have a story to end.
:''[flies off]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Omega tries to hold Vincent in place with plasma-like light; Cloud flies through the air and slices through it; he lands and pulls out phone]''
:'''Cloud''': Sorry about the wait.
:''[switches to scene of Tifa; she pulls out phone]''
:'''Tifa''': Everything’s clear over here!
:''[switches to Barret, who starts firing machine gun into air]''
:'''Barret''': AHHHHHHH!!!!! They’re all yours now, Vincent!
:''[switches to Cid, who is lighting a cigarette]''
:'''Cid''': All in a day’s work.
:''[switches to Reeve, Shelke, Yuffie and WRO members]''
:'''Reeve''': Fire.
:''[part of Reactor explodes; Yuffie and WRO members start cheering]''
:'''Yuffie''': Alright! ''[spins]'' Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
:'''Reeve''': And just in time.
:'''Shelke''': ''[to herself]'' Huh. When did I start caring so much about what happens? ''[looks up into air]'' The rest is up to you.
:''[shows Vincent hovering over Midgar; shows a shot of everyone’s face]''
:'''Cloud, Tifa, Barret, Yuffie, Cid and Reeve''': Vincent!
:''[Vincent rushes up high into the sky]''
:'''Vincent''': Hmh. Guess I have no choice. It's time... to save the world.
:''[Vincent zooms towards Omega]''
:'''Cloud, Tifa, Barret, Yuffie, Cid and Reeve''': Yeah!

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Weiss is walking towards Vincent/Chaos]''
:'''Weiss''': Hmph.
:''[Weiss attacks; Vincent shoots and hits Weiss; Weiss is suddenly behind Vincent, his blades through Vincent’s torso; he shuts his eyes and Vincent is behind him with gun pointed at his head]''
:'''Weiss''': Ha-ha.
:''[the two of them resume fighting]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[Omega grows wings and starts to rise; shows Vincent chasing it; scene switches to group on ground]''
:'''Reeve''': Omega’s… ascending! But that would mean…!
:''[Vincent speeds ahead and hovers above Omega; he charges up and plunges through it, howling; panshot of a great light exploding over part of planet; then the light fades, leaving the sky clear; the group on the ground looks up in dismay]''
:'''Barret''': Oh… oh.
:''[light remnants fall from the sky]''
:'''Yuffie''': Vincent…?

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:''[shows Midgar and Edge]''
:'''Shelke''': ''[narrating]'' Vincent… It has been almost a week since that day. The Lifestream has returned to the planet and has begun to flow normally once again.
:''[shows Shelke sitting in the 7th Heaven holding her phone]''
:'''Shelke''': And I have started to fill the ten year hole in my life. Or at least, started to try. I’ve learned so much in the past weeks. Now that I realize I’m not alone I think I may be a little stronger than I was before.
:''[Shelke looks over as Yuffie runs up to Tifa]''
:'''Yuffie''': Have you heard from Cloud?
:'''Tifa''': Mm-hm. He hasn’t found anything.
:'''Yuffie''': Agh. Ain’t gunna make this easy for us, is he.
:''[Shelke looks out window]''
:'''Shelke''': ''[narrating]'' Vincent… do you remember the last words we exchanged? Do you remember our promise? Your promise to Lucrecia? Go. Tell her how you feel. Tell her what is truly in your heart.
:''[Shelke places phone down on table and leaves; phone screen shows text message is being sent]''
:'''Shelke''': I know that you will probably never see this, but I have to try... I have to believe.
:''[shows Shelke sitting with Red XIII on steps]''
:'''Shelke''': I’ve learned I must never give up hope. Never.
:''[scene changes to inside crystal cave; shows Lucrecia’s face]''
:'''Vincent''': Lucrecia. Everything's alright now. Omega and Chaos have returned to the planet.
:''[shows Vincent sitting in front of crystal; he stands]''
:'''Vincent''': Thank you. It was you. You were the reason I… survived.
:''[As Vincent leaves a tear slides down Lucrecia’s cheek; Vincent walks out cave and sees Shelke standing outside; he walks up behind her and stops]''
:'''Shelke''': Everyone’s waiting, Vincent Valentine. I don’t know why they made me come up here and get you.
:'''Vincent''': ''[smiling]'' Hmh.
:'''Shelke''': ''[laughs slightly and turns]'' Not that I mind though.
:''[Vincent and Shelke both look up at the remnant of Omega in the sky]''

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''WRO soldier''': &quot;Sir. I've been spending time analyzing the data retrieved from the files of former weapons development administrator Scarlet. Deepground. It used to be a medical facility for injured SOLDIER troops. Military personnel would be sent there for care and rehabilitation. However, over time, it evolved into a laboratory for madmen content on ignoring all laws of man and nature. And supposedly this evolution took place because of the existence of one rogue SOLDIER—a man known only as &quot;G.&quot; However, that's all we were able to retrieve.&quot;

&lt;hr width=70%/&gt;
:'''G''': &quot;It is not yet time for slumber. We still have much work to do... My brother.&quot;

== Voice Cast ==
* [[w:Steve Blum|Steve Blum]] - [[w:Vincent Valentine|Vincent Valentine]]
* [[w:Kari Wahlgren|Kari Wahlgren]] - Shelke the Transparent
* [[w:Kim Mai Guest|Kim Mai Guest]] - Shalua Rui
* [[w:Jamieson Price|Jamieson Price]] - Reeve Tuesti
* [[w:April Stewart|April Stewart]] - [[w:Lucrecia (Final Fantasy VII)|Lucrecia Crescent]]
* [[w:Paul Eiding|Paul Eiding]] - Professor Hojo
* [[w:Greg Ellis (actor)| Greg Ellis]] - [[w:Cait Sith (Final Fantasy VII)| Cait Sith]]
* [[w:Dave Boat|Dave Boat]] - Weiss the Immaculate
* Mike Rock - Nero the Sable
* [[w:Brad Abrell|Brad Abrell]] - Azul the Cerulean
* [[w:Mary Elizabeth McGlynn|Mary Elizabeth McGlynn]] - Rosso The Crimson
* [[w:Mae Whitman|Mae Whitman]] - [[w:Yuffie Kisaragi|Yuffie Kisaragi]]
* [[w:Chris Edgerly|Chris Edgerly]] - [[w:Cid Highwind|Cid Highwind]]
* [[w:Steve Burton (actor)|Steve Burton]] - [[w:Cloud Strife|Cloud Strife]]
* [[w:Rachael Leigh Cook|Rachael Leigh Cook]] - [[w:Tifa Lockhart|Tifa Lockhart]]
* [[w:Beau Billingslea|Beau Billingslea]] - [[w:Barret Wallace|Barret Wallace]]
* [[w:Bob Joles|Bob Joles]] - [[w:Grimoire Valentine|Grimoire Valentine]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=0481507|title=Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Final Fantasy 07: Dirge of Cerberus}}
[[Category:Final Fantasy (series)]]

[[ru:Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>The Rescuers Down Under</title>
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'''''[[w:The Rescuers Down Under|The Rescuers Down Under]]''''' is a 1990 American [[w:animation|animated film]] produced by [[w:Walt Disney Feature Animation|Walt Disney Feature Animation]] and first Disney sequel released by [[w:Walt Disney Pictures|Walt Disney Pictures]] and [[w:Buena Vista Distribution|Buena Vista Distribution]] on November 16, 1990. The film is the sequel to the 1977 film ''[[The Rescuers]]'', which was based on the novels of [[w:Margery Sharp|Margery Sharp]].

==Wilbur==
* Welcome to... Albatross Air! &quot;A fair fare from here to there.&quot; Ha ha, you get it? &quot;A fair fare...&quot; It's a play on... Never mind.

* Tie your kangaroos down, sports fans! HERE... WE... COME!

* Throw another shrimp on the barbie, girls, 'cause HERE I COME!

* whoops. Sorry. Got to have another flight with the wing here. So what are you talking about the kidnapped boy again?

* ''[to a group of birds]'' hey hey! You have to stay or else! Have you have you seen some Mice walking around here? I want you to know the exact order. Two mice and a kangaroo mouse. I just want you to know. ''(:''' bird one''': we don't actually know.)'' Of course you have to know! A kidnapped boy and a kidnapped eagle! You birds are too silly. Hopefully we can know what you have to know or what you don't know. So now you must listen! ''(:'''. Bird 2 and 3''': you're a joke.)'' I am not a joke! What I want you to know is that I have an emergency! Hey get back here! I just I just- No! You tricked me! I wish I had nippled your wings!

* why do I need a doctor? My back is totally fine!

* hey Bernard! I miss ya! I knew you will never dump me in the doctor alone. Hey you're not happy to see me? Huh huh?

* ''[last line]'' HELP!! ANYBODY! Bernard! Bianca! WHERE ARE YOU?! Okay, that's it! I'm outta here! This is ridiculous! You can't leave me here alone! I'm gone! I am gone! ''[cracking and chirping sounds]'' Oh no. Stay in those eggs! That's a direct order! Hey... you're kind of a cute little feller. Goochy goochy goochy- ''[back cracks; screams; groans]''

==Percival C. McLeach==
* ''[to Joanna]'' Did you take one of my eggs? ''[Joanna heads nod]'' Okay. Let's see eagle for boy. ''[Joanna shakes her head]'' Open your mouth. ''[Joanna opens her mouth, McLeach looks inside while Joanna hides the missing egg in her tongue and from McLeach's view]'' These are NOT Joanna eggs! Let's see. The eagle, or flying eagle, or super eagle. The boy won't give the eagle. ''[Bernard: Arrest, McLeach at once!]''

* Why don't give the Eagle eggs, '''''I WANT TO STAY FROM MY--''''' ''[Bernard: No, McLeach! '''LEAVE THE BOY ALONE, OR YOU GONNA GET US KILLED!!!'''] [inspires]''  The Eagle eggs! That's it? From the boy weakness spot. But I didn't have bird's nest, my Bernard was never waste.

* I didn't do it anything make it all the way through kills spotted and third grade for nothin'!? ''[Bernard: You know what? I'll '''KILL''' Percival C. McLeach!]''

* I'm gonna kill her... '''''I'M GONNA KILL THAT DUMB SLIMY EGG-SUCKING SALAMANDER!'''''

* ''[Bernard bites McLeach's finger]'' '''''OOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!! BERNARD!''''' HE BIT ME! THAT HURTS! ''[Cody: Bernard, you're hero, mice.]'' Cody, what's wrong with biting for Bernard?! ''[Jake: You're out of control!]''

* Bad dog! Stand down! No! '''''AHHHHHHH!'''''

* ''[to Bianca]'' You're fired, or I'll kill you! ''[Cody: Look, that is misunderstanding. I'm not gonna hurt eagle. Wilbur: It was you! YOU'RE KILL YOU, MCLEACH!]'' He stolen gun and knife!

* Bernard, what you mean steals gun?

* '''''JOANNA!!!?''''' YOU HURRY UP AND EAT THOSE EGGS, YOU'RE OFFICER IS KILL YOU AND GET YOUR TAIL UP HERE! '''''MOVE IT!!!''''' ''[Bernard: '''YOU'RE *LIAAAAAAAAAR!!*''']'' Who says you're liar? Listen, Bernard, what's wrong with you, gunfire at the door, and now money's gone.

* ''[tearfully, runs away]'' IT'S NOT MY '''''FAULT!!!'''''

* Oh, that should never heard to this Eagle eggs. ''[Cody: Eagle? Oh yes, maybe was like to--]'' Shh! Bernard, you fool!

* Joanna! ''[Jake: Let the boy go. Bernard: Leave the boy alone!]'' Did you know... there was a razorback in my truck? Did ya? ''[Joanna nods]'' Did ya?! ''[Joanna shakes her head nervously]'' '''''THERE WAS A RAZORBACK IN MY TRUCK!''''' Now you quit playing around and do your job, you four-legged python!? ''[Bernard: You're Percival C. McLeach is '''DIE!!!''']'' Who's says die? Bernard, what is wrong with you? The job is gone. I'll ''kill'' ya!

* ''[last words to the crocodiles after fending them off]'' I whooped ya! I whooped y'all! You'll think twice before messin' with Percival C. McLeach! ''[laughs maniacally, then Joanna waves and looks]'' Huh, ah! AAAAAAAAAHHH!!! Whoa! NO! ''[look waterfall]'' '''''NOOOOOOOOOO!!''''' ''[waterfalls to death]''

==Jake==
* That's ''enough?'' It's OVER McLeach, I'm not going to hurt bird.

* I will you're boy is a good influence Joanna eggs with crocodiles. Honestly. Sing Cody while playing the guitar. ''[McLeach: What?!]''

* Whoa! Hang on! You know how many cows to zoos, Universal Sony Pictures Home Entertainment Australia, honestly.

== Others ==
*'''Jake''': Wise fly.

==Dialogue==
:'''Miss Bianca''': ''[whilst Wilbur drinks from a can of cream soda]'' We must leave tonight.
:'''Wilbur''': ''[spit takes]'' Tonight?! ''[coughs; laughs]'' Come on. You're kiddin' me, right? ''[laughs; opens his window]'' Have ya looked outside? It's suicide out there! ''[laughs; closes window]'' Oh, no. Ohhhhhhh, no! I'm afraid your jolly little holiday will have to wait. ''[laughs]'' What a bunch of jokers! 
:'''Miss Bianca''': But you don't understand. A boy needs our help. He's in trouble!
:'''Wilbur''': Boy? You mean, &quot;little kid&quot; kinda boy?
:'''Miss Bianca''': He was kidnapped!
:'''Wilbur''': Kidnapped? Oh! That-that's awful! Lockin' up a little kid... Kids should be free! Free to run wild through the house on Saturday mornings, free to have cookies and milk, and get those little white moustaches, you know, the-- Nobody's gonna take a kid's freedom while I'm around! Nobody ain't! Hear me?! 
:'''Bianca''': Does that mean you'll take us?
:'''Wilbur''': Storm or no storm, Albatross Airlines, ''[salutes]'' at your service!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bianca''': Captain, is this a non-stop flight to Australia?
:'''Wilbur''': Well, uh, not exactly no. Uh... I can definitely say no. We're gonna have to make connections with a bigger bird. Non-stop? What do I look like, [[w:Charles Lindbergh|Charles Lindbergh]]?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wilbur''': ''[over radio]'' Mugwump tower! Mugwump tower, this is Albatross 1-3, requesting permission to land, over!
:'''Jake''': Albatross? Let's see. ''[examines size chart of different birds]'' Finch, wren, scrub-bird, lorikeet, freckled duck, galah, kookaburra, parrot, cockatoo, albatro– Alb-albatross?! It's a jumbo! ''[to Wilbur]'' Negative, 1-3! You'll have to turn back! Our runway isn't long enough for a bird your size!
:'''Wilbur''': Not long enough?! Look, pal! I can land this thing on a dime!
:'''Bernard''': Uh, Wilbur, if the runway isn't long enough--
:'''Wilbur''': Listen! You can't let these radar jockeys push you around! Just leave it to me, all right?
:'''Jake''': I say again, mate, our runway is too short!
:'''Wilbur''': And I say again, &quot;mate&quot;, I'm comin' in!
:'''Jake''': Crazy Yank!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jake''': So, um, which way are we taking, uh, Suicide Trail through Nightmare Canyon, or the shortcut at Satan's Ridge?
:'''Bernard''': Suicide Trail?
:'''Jake''': Good choice! More snakes, less quicksand. Then once you cross Bloodworm Creek, you're scot free, that is until, um... Dead Dingo Pass.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''McLeach''': Well, Joanna, what did we get today? A dingo, a fat old razorback, or a nice big... boy? ''[McLeach frowns, turns to look at Joanna and suddenly viciously kicks her]'' JOANNA, YOU BEEN DIGGING HOLES OUT HERE AGAIN?! HUH?! Darn lizard's always trying to bury squirrels out here.
:'''Cody''': Uh-uh. It's a trap, and poaching's ''against the law.''
:'''McLeach''': Trap? Where'd you get an idea like that, boy? I think you've been down in that hole too long. ''[points gun barrel directly at Cody's chest]'' Well, come on, grab a hold. ''[Cody gulps and grabs the gun, and McLeach pulls him out of the hole]'' We'll just get you outta this old lizard-hole, then you can just run on home.
:''[Joanna notices the mouse in Cody's backpack and snarls]''
:'''Cody''': This ''is'' a poacher's trap, and ''you're'' a poacher! ''[Joanna attacks. McLeach screams while he falls into his own pit, his gun going off in the process]'' Let go! Hey, get off me!
:'''McLeach''': ''[climbing out]'' I'm gonna kill her...I'm gonna kill ''that dumb, slimy, egg-suckin' salamander!''
:'''Cody''': Cut it out, get off of me!
:''[McLeach angrily aims his gun at Joanna, until he notices Marahute's feather sticking out of the backpack]''
:'''McLeach''': Hmmmm... Good girl Joanna. Say, where'd you get this pretty feather, boy?
:'''Cody''': It was a present.
:'''McLeach''': Oh, that's real nice. Who gave it to you?
:'''Cody''': It's a...secret.
:'''McLeach''': That's ''no secret,'' boy. You see, I already got the father. ''[performs a throat-slitting gesture with a battered eagle feather]'' Hah, hah, hah! Now you just tell me where mama and those little eggs are.
:'''Cody''': ''[retreats]'' No!
:'''McLeach''': Joanna, sic 'em! ''[Joanna chases Cody to the edge of Crocodile Falls and McLeach stamps on Cody's hand, stopping him from using his knife]'' You're coming with me, boy.
:'''Cody''': My Mom'll call the Rangers!
:'''McLeach''': ''[mockingly]'' Oh no! Not the Rangers, what'll I do? What'll I do?! Don't let your mom call the Rangers, ''please!'' ''[Joanna laughs; McLeach flings Cody's backpack into the water, where the crocodiles attack it]'' &quot;My poor baby boy got eaten by the crocodiles, boo-hoo-hoo!&quot; ''[chuckles, as he grabs Cody]'' Let's go, boy!
:'''Cody''': ''[gets locked in the cage on McLeach's truck]'' Help! Help!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Cody''': ''[Locked in McLeach's truck, throwing traps around]'' Let me out of here! Let me go! You can't do this! ''Help! HELP! HEEEEEELP!!!''
:'''McLeach''': ''[over the speaker]'' Breaker, breaker, little mate! I forgot to tell 'ya, round here, you need to be '''QUIET!''' Or the Rangers might hear. Now sit down and relax and enjoy the view. Nothing but abandoned opal mines, far as the eye can see! And dead ahead, is home sweet home.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''McLeach''': Well, Joanna, it looks like lady luck has finally decided to smile on us. Everything's going our way to these waltz. ''[laughs to himself]''
:'''Cody''': ''[screaming]'' ''You can't do this!'' You're gonna get ''in big trouble!'' I'll tell the Rangers ''where you are! [Joanna opened the window to Cody]''
:'''McLeach''': ''[groans]'' Oops! I almost forgot...we got a loose end tie up, haven't we girl?
:'''Cody''': Don't worry I'm not going hurt bird. Just a golden hawk.
:'''Bernard''': McLeach, you're never tell you! NEVER!
:'''Joanna''': Me either.
:'''Cody''': Shh! I'll call mom.
:'''Jake''': Yeah!
:'''Cody''': ''[singsong]'' Oh doggies!
:'''McLeach''': ''[dog growls and barking]'' What the... Dogs?! ''[Dog bites his legs]'' OUCH! OW, OW, OW, OW, OW!!
:'''Red Kangaroo''': That's good is should honest for Cody anyone you're bird's alive, golden eagle hero.
:'''McLeach''': ''[exclaiming]'' You biting my legs! ''[runs away and screams]''
:''' Bernard''': Cody, I was wondering to fourth grade, you tell my that.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Doctor''': Forceps!
:'''Nurse Mouse''': Forceps!
:'''Wilbur''': Oh no... What now?
:'''Doctor''': Spinal streculator!
:'''Wilbur''': Ohh! That's gonna hurt!
:'''Doctor''': Artery router!
:'''Wilbur''': Mother!
:'''Doctor''': This is rusted tight. I wouldn't dream of using such a tool. Bring me the epidermal tissue disruptor!
:'''Wilbur''': THE EPIDERMAL ''WHAT?!''
:''[The nurses rev up a chainsaw]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Cody is tied up in front of a map, while McLeach is across the room sharpening several knives]''
:'''McLeach''': Let's see if we can't refresh that rusty old memory of yours. Is she ''on Satan's Ridge?!'' ''[throws knife which embeds in map on &quot;Satan's Ridge&quot; and very close to Cody]'' Or ''Nightmare Canyon?!'' ''[throws another knife]'' What do you think, Joanna? ''[Joanna breaks a cracker in half]'' Yeah, that's it. Right smack dab ''in the middle of Croc Falls!'' ''[knife embeds into &quot;Croc Falls&quot; and very close to Cody's head]'' Am I gettin' warm?
:'''Cody''': I told you ''I don't remember!''
:'''McLeach''': ''[walks toward Cody with a knife]'' Don't you realize ''a bird that size'' is worth a ''fortune?!'' ''[stabs knife into map next to Cody and gets nose to nose with him]'' I'll split the money with ya–50-50. You've got no better offer than that, boy!
:'''Cody''': You won't have ''any'' money after the Rangers get through with you!
:'''McLeach''': ''[growls]'' Grrr...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cody''': There must be a way out of here.
:'''Krebbs''': Oh, there's a way out, all right.
:'''Red and Frank''': There is?
:'''Krebbs''': ''[to Red]'' Absolutely! ''You'll'' go as a wallet, ''[to platypus]'' ''you'll'' go as a belt, and our dear Frank...
:'''Frank''': No, no, no! I don't want to hear it!
:'''Krebbs''': Frank will go as...
:'''Frank''': I can't hear you! ''[covers ears while singing nonsense; stops to see if Krebbs is done]''
:'''Krebbs''': A purse.
:'''Frank''': ''[shrieks hysterically]''
:'''Krebbs''': Oh, a lovely lady's purse!
:'''Frank''': I DON'T WANNA GO AS A ''PURSE!'' Please, please don't let him do it!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Krebbs''': Oh, there he goes again...
:'''Red''': Take it easy, mate. You don't wanna hurt yourself again.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bianca''': Now, now, Cody. We mustn't lose hope. Bernard is still out there.
:'''Jake''': That's right! If anyone can get us out of this, it's old Berno! ''[under his breath]'' Nice bluff, Miss B.
:'''Bianca''': I wasn't bluffing. You don't know Bernard like I do. He'll never give up.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bianca''': Oh, Bernard, you were magnificent! You're absolutely the hero of the day!
:'''Bernard''': Miss Bianca, before anything else happens... ''[drops to one knee and pulls out the ring]'' Will you marry me?
:'''Bianca''': Bernard... Of course I will!
:'''Jake''': ''[thumbs up]'' Well done, mate.

==Countries Release date==
*Togo - December 25, 1990
*Egypt - May 16, 1991
*Turkey - August 31, 1991
*United Arab Emirates - November 22, 1991
*Madagascar - November 17, 1995
*United States - March 7, 2003 (10th Anniversary Edition THX-Certified)
*Thailand - April 4, 2012

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|0100477}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Rescuers Down Under, The}}
[[Category:1990 films]]
[[Category:1990s American animated films]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated drama films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Films about mice]]
[[Category:Films directed by Mike Gabriel]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Adele (singer)</title>
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        <username>Spinoziano</username>
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      <text bytes="10416" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Adele for Vogue in 2021.png|thumb|Adele, in 2021]]
[[File:Adele 2009.jpg|thumb|right|Never mind, I'll find someone like you,&lt;br&gt;I wish nothing but the best for you, too.&lt;br&gt;Don't forget me, I beg.&lt;br&gt;I remember you said,&lt;br&gt;&quot;Sometimes it lasts in love,&lt;br&gt;But sometimes it hurts instead.&quot; ~&lt;br&gt;''[[w:Someone Like You (Adele song)|Someone Like You]]'']]
'''[[w:Adele (singer)|Adele Laurie Blue Adkins]]''', [[w:Order of the British Empire|MBE]] (born [[5 May]] [[1988]]), better known simply as '''Adele''', is an English singer-songwriter.

== Quotes ==
* I'm mortified to have to pay 50%! [While] I use the [[w:National Health Service|NHS]], I can't use public transport any more. Trains are always late, most state schools are shit, and I've gotta give you, like, four million quid – are you having a laugh? When I got my tax bill in from [the album] 19, I was ready to go and buy a gun and randomly open fire.
** On high taxes, as quoted by ''The Guardian'', [http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/musicblog/2011/may/25/adele-tax-grievances 'Adele's tax grievances won't resonate with fans'], May 25, 2011.

* I love seeing [[w:Lady Gaga|Lady Gaga]]’s boobs and bum. I love seeing [[w:Katy Perry|Katy Perry]]’s boobs and bum. Love it. But that’s not what my music is about. I don’t make music for eyes, I make music for ears.
**[http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/adele-opens-up-about-her-inspirations-looks-and-stage-fright-20120210 Adele in Rolling Stone], April 28, 2011.

* I don't really need to stand out, there's room for everyone. Although I haven't built a niche yet, I'm just writing love songs.
**as quoted in ''Adele - The Biography'' (2011), by [[Chas Newkey-Burden]].

== Song lyrics ==
&lt;small&gt;All songs written by Adele, except as noted&lt;/small&gt;

=== ''[[w:19 (Adele album)|19]]'' (2008) ===
* Should I give up,&lt;br&gt;Or should I just keep chasing pavements?&lt;br&gt;Even if it leads nowhere,&lt;br&gt;Or would it be a waste?&lt;br&gt;Even if I knew my place should I leave it there?&lt;br&gt;Should I give up,&lt;br&gt;Or should I just keep chasing pavements?&lt;br&gt;Even if it leads nowhere.
** ''[[w:Chasing Pavements|Chasing Pavements]]'', written by Adele and [[w:Eg White|Eg White]]

* You say it's all in my head&lt;br&gt;And the things I think just don't make sense&lt;br&gt;So where you been then? Don't go all coy&lt;br&gt;Don't turn it round on me like it's my fault&lt;br&gt;See I can see that look in your eyes&lt;br&gt;The one that shoots me each and every time.&lt;br&gt;You grace me with your cold shoulder&lt;br&gt;Whenever you look at me I wish I was her.&lt;br&gt;You shower me with words made of knives&lt;br&gt;Whenever you look at me I wish I was her.
** ''[[w:Cold Shoulder (song)|Cold Shoulder]]'', written by Adele and [[w:Sacha Skarbek|Sacha Skarbek]]

* You said I'm stubborn and I never give in.&lt;br&gt;I think you're stubborn 'cept you're always softening.&lt;br&gt;You say I'm selfish, I agree with you on that.&lt;br&gt;I think you're giving out way too much in fact.&lt;br&gt;I say we've only known each other one year;&lt;br&gt;You say I've known you longer my dear.&lt;br&gt;You like to be so close, I like to be alone.&lt;br&gt;I like to sit on chairs and you prefer the floor.&lt;br&gt;Walking with each other, think we'll never match at all, but we do.&lt;br&gt;But we do, but we do, but we do.
** ''[[w:My Same|My Same]]''.

* Round my hometown,&lt;br&gt;Memories are fresh.&lt;br&gt;Round my hometown,&lt;br&gt;Ooh the people I've met&lt;br&gt;Are the wonders of my world.
** ''[[w:Hometown Glory|Hometown Glory]]''.

* I like it in the city when the air is so thick and opaque&lt;br&gt;I love to see everybody in short skirts, shorts and shades&lt;br&gt;I like it in the city when two worlds collide&lt;br&gt;You get the people and the government&lt;br&gt;Everybody taking different sides.
** ''Hometown Glory''.

=== ''[[w:21 (Adele album)|21]]'' (2011) ===
*&lt;p&gt;There’s a fire starting in my heart&lt;br&gt;Reaching a fever pitch,&lt;br&gt;It’s bringing me out the dark&lt;br&gt;Finally I can see you crystal clear&lt;br&gt;Go head and sell me out&lt;br&gt;And I'll lay your ship bare.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;See how I leave with every piece of you[[&lt;br&gt;Don’t underestimate the things that I will do.&lt;/p&gt;
** ''[[w:Rolling in the Deep|Rolling in the Deep]]'', written by Adele and [[w:Paul Epworth|Paul Epworth]]

* The scars of your love remind me of us&lt;br&gt;They keep me thinking that we almost had it all.&lt;br&gt;The scars of your love they leave me breathless.&lt;br&gt;I can’t help feeling&lt;br&gt;We could have had it all.&lt;br&gt;Rolling in the deep.&lt;br&gt;You had my heart inside of your hand&lt;br&gt;And you played it&lt;br&gt;To the beat.
** ''[[w:Rolling in the Deep|Rolling in the Deep]]''.

* Bless your soul, you've got you're head in the clouds,&lt;br&gt;You made a fool out of you,&lt;br&gt;And, boy, she's bringing you down,&lt;br&gt;She made your heart melt,&lt;br&gt;But you're cold to the core,&lt;br&gt;Now rumour has it she ain't got your love anymore.
** ''[[w:Rumour Has It (Adele song)|Rumour Has It]]'', written by Adele and [[w:Ryan Tedder|Ryan Tedder]]

* &lt;p&gt;I can't keep up with your turning tables&lt;br&gt;Under your thumb, I can't breathe.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I won't let you close enough to hurt me, no.&lt;br&gt;I won't ask you, you to just desert me.&lt;br&gt;I can't give you, what you think you gave me.&lt;br&gt;It's time to say goodbye to turning tables.&lt;/p&gt;
** ''[[w:Turning Tables|Turning Tables]]'', written by Adele and Ryan Tedder.

* But I set fire to the rain,&lt;br&gt;Watched it pour as I touched your face,&lt;br&gt;Well it burnt while I cried,&lt;br&gt;Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name!&lt;br&gt;I set fire to the rain&lt;br&gt;And I threw us into the flames&lt;br&gt;Well it felt like something died&lt;br&gt;Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time!
** ''[[w:Set Fire to the Rain|Set Fire to the Rain]]'', written by Adele and [[w:Fraser T. Smith|Fraser T. Smith]]

* Never mind, I'll find someone like you,&lt;br&gt;I wish nothing but the best for you, too.&lt;br&gt;Don't forget me, I beg.&lt;br&gt;I remember you said,&lt;br&gt;&quot;Sometimes it lasts in love,&lt;br&gt;But sometimes it hurts instead.&quot;
** ''[[w:Someone Like You (Adele song)|Someone Like You]]'', written by Adele and [[w:Dan Wilson (musician)|Dan Wilson]]

=== ''[[w:25 (Adele album)|25]]'' (2015) ===
* Hello from the other side,&lt;br&gt;I must've called a thousand times&lt;br&gt;To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done,&lt;br&gt;But when I call, you never seem to be home.&lt;br&gt;Hello from the outside.&lt;br&gt;At least, I can say that I've tried&lt;br&gt;To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart,&lt;br&gt;But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore.
** ''[[w:Hello (Adele song)|Hello]]'', written by Adele and [[w:Greg Kurstin|Greg Kurstin]]

* Send my love to your new lover,&lt;br&gt;Treat her better.&lt;br&gt;We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts.&lt;br&gt;We both know we ain't kids no more.
** ''[[w:Send My Love (To Your New Lover)|Send My Love]]'', written by Adele, [[w:Max Martin|Max Martin]] and [[w:Shellback (record producer)|Shellback]]

* Let me photograph you in this light&lt;br&gt;In case it is the last time that we might&lt;br&gt;Be exactly like we were before we realised&lt;br&gt;We were sad of getting old, it made us restless.&lt;br&gt;It was just like a movie,&lt;br&gt;It was just like a song.
** ''[[w:When We Were Young (Adele song)|When We Were Young]]'', written by Adele and [[w:Tobias Jesso Jr.|Tobias Jesso Jr.]]

* If you're not the one for me,&lt;br&gt;Then how come I can bring you to your knees?&lt;br&gt;If you're not the one for me,&lt;br&gt;Why do I hate the idea of being free?&lt;br&gt;And if I'm not the one for you,&lt;br&gt;You've gotta stop holding me the way you do.&lt;br&gt;Oh honey, if I’m not the one for you,&lt;br&gt;Why have we been through what we have been through?
** ''[[w:Water Under the Bridge (song)|Water Under the Bridge]]'', written by Adele and Greg Kurstin

* If you're gonna let me down, let me down gently.&lt;br&gt;Don't pretend that you don't want me.&lt;br&gt;Our love ain't water under the bridge.
** ''Water Under the Bridge''

* I can't love you in the dark,&lt;br&gt;It feels like we're oceans apart.&lt;br&gt;There is so much space between us,&lt;br&gt;Baby, we're already defeated.&lt;br&gt;Ah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, everything changed me.
** ''[[w:Love in the Dark (Adele song)|Love in the Dark]]'', written by Adele and [[w:Samuel Dixon|Samuel Dixon]]

* I only wanted to have fun&lt;br&gt;Learning to fly, learning to run.&lt;br&gt;I let my heart decide the way&lt;br&gt;When I was young&lt;br&gt;Deep down, I must have always known&lt;br&gt;That this would be inevitable&lt;br&gt;To earn my stripes, I'd have to pay&lt;br&gt;And bare my soul.
** ''[[w:Million Years Ago (song)|Million Years Ago]]'', written by Adele and Greg Kurstin

* If this is my last night with you,&lt;br&gt;Hold me like I'm more than just a friend.&lt;br&gt;Give me a memory I can use,&lt;br&gt;Take me by the hand while we do&lt;br&gt;What lovers do.&lt;br&gt;It matters how this ends&lt;br&gt;'Cause what if I never love again?
** ''[[w:All I Ask|All I Ask]]'', written by Adele, [[w:Bruno Mars|Bruno Mars]], [[w:Philip Lawrence (songwriter)|Philip Lawrence]], and Christopher Brody Brown

=== ''[[w:30 (Adele album)|30]]'' (2021) ===
* &lt;p&gt;There ain't no gold in this river&lt;br&gt;That I've been washin' my hands in forever.&lt;br&gt;I know there is hope in these waters,&lt;br&gt;But I can't bring myself to swim&lt;br&gt;When I am drowning in this silence,&lt;br&gt;Baby, let me in.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Go easy on me, baby.&lt;br&gt;I was still a child.&lt;br&gt;Didn't get the chance to&lt;br&gt;Feel the world around me.&lt;br&gt;I had no time to choose what I chose to do,&lt;br&gt;So go easy on me.&lt;/p&gt;
** ''[[w:Easy on Me|Easy on Me]]'', written by Adele and Greg Kurstin

* Oh, my God, I can't believe it.&lt;br&gt;Out of all the people in the world,&lt;br&gt;What is the likelihood of jumping&lt;br&gt;Out of my life and into your arms?&lt;br&gt;Maybe, baby, I'm just losing my mind,&lt;br&gt;'Cause this is trouble, but it feels right.&lt;br&gt;Teetering on the edge of Heaven and Hell&lt;br&gt;Is a battle that I cannot fight.
** ''[[w:Oh My God (Adele song)|Oh My God]]'', written by Adele and Greg Kurstin

== About Adele ==

* '''The distance in form, intention, mood and expression between [[Franz Schubert|Schubert]]'s songs for voice and piano and those of, say, Adele, is remarkably small.'''
** [[Howard Goodall]], ''Howard Goodall's Story of Music''. Episode 3, BBC, February 2014.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:Soul singers]]
[[Category:Singer-songwriters from England]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:Feminists from England]]
[[Category:Activists from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:LGBT rights activists]]
[[Category:British women]]
[[Category:People from London]]
[[Category:1988 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Grammy Award winners]]
[[Category:Academy Award winners]]</text>
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    <title>The Lorax (2012 film)</title>
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'''''[[w:The Lorax (film)|Dr. Seuss's The Lorax]]''''' is a 2012 American [[w:computer animation|computer-animated]] [[w:List of 3-D films|3D]] [[w:musical film|musical]] [[w:comedy film|comedy film]] about a 12-year-old boy who searches for the one thing that will enable him to win the affection of the girl of his dreams. To find it he must discover the story of the Lorax, the grumpy yet charming creature who fights to protect his world.
:''Directed by [[w:Chris Renaud|Chris Renaud]]. Co-directed by [[w:Kyle Balda|Kyle Balda]]. Written by [[w:Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio|Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio]], based on [[w:The Lorax|The Lorax]] by [[Dr. Seuss]].''
&lt;center&gt;'''Meet the original force of nature.'''&lt;/center&gt;

== The Lorax ==
* I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees.
* Who taught you guys how to steal a bed?
* ''[notices Pipsqueak on the Once-ler’s bed]'' You gotta be kidding me. ''[to another Bar-ba-loot]'' Can he swim? ''[the Bar-ba-loot shakes his head]'' Of course he can't swim! Hang on, Pipsqueak! I'm comin' to get ya!
* ''[after seeing Pipsqueak take and eat a truffula fruit]'' Ugh, bar-ba-loots.
* ''[To the Once-ler]'' A tree falls in the way it leans. Be careful which way you lean.

== Ted ==
* ''[referring to Audrey; to The Once-ler]'' Hey, she is not some girlǃ She's a woman… in high school… and she loves trees, and I'm gonna get her one.
* I am Ted Wiggins, and I speak for the trees. And the fact is, things aren't perfect here in Thneedville! And they're only gonna get worse unless we do something about it! Unless we change our ways, we can start by planting ''this''! ''[holds up the truffula seed]''

== Audrey ==
* ''[Referring to her mural]'' Those are trees. ''Real ones.'' They used to grow all around here. And people said that the touch of their tufts was softer than anything, even silk. And they smelled like butterfly milk.
* What I want more than anything in the whole world is to see a real living tree, growing in my backyard.

== The Once-ler ==
* ''[He puts on a pair of work gloves and grabs a large axe]'' Alright, here we go. About to make a Thneed, about to change the world.
* Check it out, guys. ''[looks around, noticing all of the animals are gone]'' Where did everybody go? ''[shrugs, then grabs the tree by the trunk and drags it away toward his cottage]''
* Little did I know that by chopping down that tree I had just summoned a mystical creature as old as time itself. The legendary, slightly annoying guardian of the forest. The Lorax.
* ''[admiring his first thneed]'' Now that's a thneed! Nothing unmanly about knitting. No sir!
* Oh, yeah! We're in business, baby! ''[closing Everybody Needs a Thneed]'' Mom? Hey, it's me! I told you I was going to be a success! You need to bring the whole family here right now. We're going to be rich! What? I'm going to need all the help I can get. Don't worry.
* ''[closing How Bad Can I Be]'' All the customers are buying, and the money's multiplying, and the PR people are lying, ''[A Thneed is thrown on the Lorax as a picture is taken. A billboard featuring the picture reads &quot;Lorax Approved&quot;]'' and the lawyers are denying. Who cares if a few trees are dying? This is all so gratifying! How bad, how bad can this possibly be?!
* ''[To Ted]'' Because Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better... It's not.
* ''[To Ted; referring to the last Truffula seed]'' Plant the seed in the middle of town where everyone can see! Change the way things are. I know it may seem small and insignificant, but it's not about what it is, it's about what it can become. That's not just a seed... any more than you're just a boy.
* ''[opens the window for the first time as he hears the city singing &quot;Let it Grow&quot; and is on the verge of tears]'' Thank you, Ted.

== Mr. O'Hare ==
* ''[reffering to Ted]'' What?! Why is he leaving town? '''NO ONE EVER LEAVES TOWN!''' See what he's up to.
* You listen to me, boy. Don't go poking around in things you don't understand, or I'll be your worst nightmare. I'm Frankenstein's head on a spider's body!
* You've got a beautiful town here, Ted. Lots of fun stuff to occupy your short attention span. I can't think of any reason you'd ever wanna go outside of town again. Ever.
* Nobody beats Aloysius O'Hare! ''[the elevator shuts]'' What?! Damn it!
* Bring it on, Teddy! You don't have the guts!
* ''[going after Ted and Audrey and Grammy Norma, who have the Truffula seed, through a megaphone]'' '''YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS, BOY! BANG!'''
* ''[last words as he sings &quot;Let It Die&quot;]'' C'mon, who's with me, huh?

== Dialogue ==
:'''Ted''': So, anyway, let's just say, I need a tree. Where would I go? What do I do?
:'''Grammy Norma''': Oh, then you know what? You'd need to find the Once-ler.
:'''Ted''': The what?
:'''Bernice Wiggins''': Mom, it's not really the time for one of your, you know, magical fables, OK?
:'''Grammy Norma''': ''[laughs]'' That's right, I forgot. I'm old, and can't even remember to put my teeth in!
:'''Bernice''': Stand down. That's not what I meant.
:'''Grammy Norma''': No, really, I forgot my teeth. Would you be a dear and go get them for me?
:'''Bernice''': ''[sighs]'' Sure, Mom.
:'''Grammy Norma''': Okay, here the deal. The Once-ler's the man who knows what happened to the trees. If you want one, you need to find him.
:'''Ted''': The Once-ler?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ted gets pulled up by a rope and pulley to the second floor window where the Once-ler confronts him angrily.]''
:'''Once-ler''': Who are you? Who are you and what are you doing here?!
:'''Ted''': I'm Ted. I'm Ted. Oh, I can't breathe. Are you the Once-ler? Oh, man. 
:'''Once-ler''': Didn't you read the signs? No one is supposed to come here. Get out of here and leave me alone! And don't let the boot hit you on the way out.
:'''Ted''': The boot? ''[gets kicked by said boot from behind]'' Whoa, hello! Ow! Listen! People say that if someone brings you this stuff that you will tell them about trees. ''[gets grabbed again]'' No, no, no!
:'''Once-ler''': Trees?
:'''Ted''': Yeah, real ones. You know, that grow out of the ground? ''[pause]'' Hello?
:'''Once-ler''': Sorry, it's just... Well, I didn't think anyone still cared about trees.
:'''Ted''': Well, that's me. The guy who still cares. I'm here. ''[gets put back down]'' Hey, hey! What? Whoa!
:'''The Once-ler''': You wanna know about trees, about what happened to them, (and) why they're all gone? ''[softly]'' {{small|It's because of me.}}
:'''Ted''': Wait, what? ''[A Whisper-ma-Phone chutes down to him. He leans in to hear.]''
:'''Once-ler''': ''[shouts] &lt;big&gt;'''IT'S BECAUSE OF ME!'''&lt;/big&gt; [Ted coughs]'' And my invention, the Thneed. It was an amazing product that could do the job of 1,000.
:'''Ted''': All right. Sounds ridiculous, but I mean, that's cool. 
:'''Once-ler''': You're darn right it was cool! ''[starting to explain what happened to the trees]'' It all started a long time ago.
:'''Ted''': Can we start not so long ago, maybe?
:'''Once-ler''': Do you want a tree?
:'''Ted''': Yes, yes. (Go on.)
:'''Once-ler''': Then it all started a long, &lt;big&gt;''long''&lt;/big&gt; time ago. ''[scene flashes back to the Once-ler as a young man]'' I was a young man leaving home.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ted''': ''[interrupting the story]'' Hey, hey, hey, hey, wait. Wait a minute.
:'''Once-ler''': Excuse me?
:'''Ted''': ''[chuckles]'' Yeah. That's awesome. You know, feeding junk food to forest animals? That's great. But, uh, is there a musical number where you show me how to get a tree? 'Cause I'd love to hear that one.
:'''Once-ler''': Oh, yes. Right after the musical number about the kid who kept interrupting the story and was never heard from ever again. Hmm?
:'''Ted''': Right. Got it. Proceed.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''The Lorax''':  ''[first meeting the Once-ler]'' Hey!
:''[The Once-ler shrieks and falls backwards]''
:'''The Lorax''': Did you chop down this tree?
:'''Once-ler''': Uh, no. Who did it? ''[gasps]'' What's that?! ''[the Lorax looks back and Once-ler drops his axe on Pipsqueak the Bar-ba-loot, blaming him]'' I think he did it.
:'''The Lorax''': ''[growls]'' Leave! Vacate the premises! Take your axe and get out! 
:'''The Once-ler''': And who are you? ''[pokes the Lorax]''
:'''The Lorax''': Hey, hey! I'm the Lorax, guardian of the forest. I speak for the trees. ''[The Once-ler stares at him]'' So you're telling me that you didn't see me magically appear out of that stump, with all the lightning and thunder and stuff. You didn't see any of that?
:'''The Once-ler''': No, but that sounds amazing. Can I see some of that?
:'''The Lorax''': Uh, yeah. I could show you, but that's not how it works.
:'''The Once-ler''': ''[condescending]'' OK, um... Didn’t really happen. Oh, I know what you want! ''[pokes Lorax’s nose, He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a Marshmallow. Holds it out.]'' ''[baby talk]'' I’ve got one of these for the cutest little guy I ever saw. Yummy-yummy-yummy... ''[The Lorax stares at the marshmallow]''
:'''The Lorax''': How dare you! Give me that! ''[grabs the marshmallow. Sniffs it. It smells good]'' Mmm. I'm going to eat this, but I am highly offended by it.''[plops it into his mouth, then makes his way over to the Once-ler’s tent-house which is being supported by stakes and ropes. He kicks out a stake and the canvas starts to sag]''
:'''The Once-ler''': Whoa! What are you... Hey, Mustache! Will you stop that? ''[The Lorax continues circling around the tent-house pulling up stakes. He grabs his hammer and follows, pounding them back in.]'' What's your deal, man?
:'''The Lorax''': ''[They circle faster and faster around the tent-houses he pull up each stake and the Once-ler pounding them back in.]'' Time for you to go, Beanpole!
:'''The Once-ler''': Pull them right out. Just going to put them right back in. We can do this all day.
:''[until the Once-ler turns a corner and is about to bring his hammer down on Pipsqueak. The Lorax has placed him right where the stake would have been. The Lorax holds up his hand to stop the Once-ler]''
:'''The Lorax''': Stop right there! Stop it! So you would hammer one of nature's innocent creatures?
:''[The Lorax pats Pipsqueak on the head and he happily runs offscreen]''
:'''The Once-ler''': What? No! I would never hit this little guy. You, on the other hand, I would gladly pound you and your mustache into the ground!
:''[The Lorax turns to all of the watching animals]''
:'''The Lorax''': Behold! The intruder and his violent ways. ''[To Once-Ler]'' Shame on you. For shame!
:''[The Once-ler drops the hammer and hides it behind his feet. Then he sees all of the animals nodding their heads in agreement. He’s had it.
:'''The Once-ler''': All right, you know what? That's it! ''[Points at Lorax]'' You listen to me, you furry meatloaf. I'm going to chop down as many trees as I need. Okay? Newsflash! Not going anywhere! End of story. ''[He turns and enters his cottage. His sticks his tongue out and does Raspberries to the Lorax before slamming the door behind him! He sighs heavily, shaking his head]''
:'''The Lorax''': Then you leave me no choice. ''[Startled, the Once-ler turns and sees that the Lorax is somehow inside with him. He points a threatening finger at the Once-ler and speaks in a spooky voice as if he’s casting a spell]'' If you're not gone by the time the sun sets on this valley, all the forces of nature will be unleashed upon you and curse you until the end of your days! You have been warned. ''[Lorax turns to make a dramatic exit, but can’t reach the doorknob of Once-ler’s door. He hops a couple of times. Finally, the Once-ler lets him out.]'' Thanks.
:'''The Once-ler''': Yeah, okay.
:'''The Lorax''': You have been warned.
:''[The Lorax storms out and slams the door, leaving the Once-ler alone in his cottage.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''The Once-ler''': Why are you so interested in trees anyway? Why aren't you like other kids? Break-dancing and wearing bell-bottoms and playing the Donkey Kongs?
:'''Ted''': ''[laughs]'' Yeah. Right, right. I don't know. Uh, I just thought it might be kinda cool to have one, you know. 
:'''The Once-ler''': ''[knowingly]'' Aaah, it's a girl, isn't it?
:'''Ted''': ''[scoffs]'' What? No!
:'''The Once-ler''': Really? 'Cause when a guy does something stupid once, well, that's because he's a guy, but if he does the same stupid thing ''twice'', that's usually to impress some girl.
:'''Ted''': ''[about Audrey]'' Hey, she is not some girlǃ She's a woman… in high school… and she loves trees, and I'm gonna get her one.
:'''The Once-ler''': Aww. How nice to see someone so undeterred by things like ''reality''.
:'''Ted''': ''[sincerely]'' Thank you.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''The Once-ler''': ''[has just been revived by the Lorax]'' I was heading into the light, and you pulled me right back, and here I am! ''[hugs the Lorax]'' You saved my life!
:'''The Lorax''': Yeah, I did, but you know, it's not that big a deal.
:'''The Once-ler''': It is a big deal! Look, I almost went over that waterfall! ''[realizes]'' Wait... On my bed. How did my bed get in the river?
:'''The Lorax''': Uh, about that, uh... actually, um... ''[mumbles]'' I put your bed in the water. ''[The Once-ler drops him in shock]'' I didn't mean you any harm. I just wanted to calmly float you away. Look, everyone here needs the trees and you're chopping them down! So, we've got a big problem.
:'''The Once-ler''': ''[Pipsqueak nuzzling at Once-Ler's feet, to the Lorax]'' Alright, look. I hereby swear that I will never chop down another tree. I promise. ''(Are you happy now?)''
:'''The Lorax''': Thank you, but I'm going to keep my eye on you.
:'''The Once-ler''': Now, I've got a big day tomorrow, and I'm gonna get some sleep. ''[walks away, then comes back]'' Right after I find my bed.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''The Once-ler''': ''[screams and wakes up to find the Lorax sleeping in his bed, the Lorax also screams and wakes up, accidentally punching the Once-ler's nose in the process]'' Ow! Okay, uh, what are you...? ''[stops upon noticing that the Bar-ba-loots, Humming Fish, and Swommee-Swans are also sleeping in his house]'' Question, what are ''they'' doing here? And, uh, follow up if I may, what are ''you'' doing here?!
:'''The Lorax''': ''[chuckles embarrassingly]'' Well, after the incident last night, we found one of your socks and came here to return it, but when we got here, you were asleep. 
:'''The Once-ler''': What? ''[looks up to see a sleeping Bar-ba-loot drooling down on him]'' Eww! Exactly, and sleeping is the body's way of telling other people to go away.
:'''The Lorax''': I know, but you looked so cozy. And it was cold outside, and we just fell asleep. No harm done.
:'''The Once-ler''': &quot;No harm done&quot;, &quot;no harm done&quot;? Ugh, okay. ''[sees Humming Fish bathing in soap]'' Okay, I put my lips on those. Well, I used to, anyway. ''[sees Swommee-Swan laying an egg]'' Ew. Did you just... in my bowl?!
:'''The Lorax''': ''[uses the Once-ler's toothbrush to comb his mustache]'' Why do you even own this? You don't have a mustache.
:'''The Once-ler''': ''[disgusted and angry]'' Ugh! Okay, that's it!
:'''The Lorax''': What? I thought we made a deal last night.
:'''The Once-ler''': Yes, we did. And I said I wouldn't chop down any more trees.
:'''The Lorax''': And I said I was going to keep an eye on you. I'm starving! What's for breakfast? ''[looks into the fridge to find the big Bar-ba-loot eating entire cubes of butter]'' Breakfast is overrated. ''[closes the fridge door]''
:'''The Once-ler''': ''[strains]'' You know what? I got work to do. ''[quickly changes outfit]'' Yep! I got to go into town and sell my Thneed!
:'''The Lorax''': ''[when the Once-ler shows the Thneed to him; laughs]'' You chopped down one of my trees to make that piece of garbage?
:'''The Once-ler''': &quot;Garbage&quot;? Oh, no. Oh, no! You do not get it. This is a revolutionary product that will change the world as we know it. ''[walks over to the Bar-ba-loots sleeping on the table and brushes them all off]'' It has 1,000,000 uses! ''[He reaches under the table and pulls up Lou who is now wearing the Thneed as underwear]'' Look at this. It's a swimsuit! ''[Then he points to the muddy animal tracks on the floor.]'' Mud tracked all over your floor by uninvited guests? Well, the Thneed sure comes in handy for that! ''[He uses it to wipe up the mud tracks]'' But wait, there's more! Thanks to its all-natural microfibers, the Thneed is super-absorbent! ''[Then he goes to the fish swimming a glass filled with water. Shoves the Thneed into the glass. SLUUUURP! It instantly soaks up all the water, leaving the irritated fish standing in the dry glass.]'' It also works as a hat. ''[plops the Thneed onto Lorax’s head. SPLURCH! It’s sopping wet and drips all over him. The Lorax gives the Once- ler a look]'' Of course, you probably want to wring it out first.
:'''The Lorax''': ''[takes the Thneed off his head and throws it at the Once-ler.]'' Go ahead. Knock yourself out, but nobody is going to buy that thing.
:'''The Once-ler''': Good to know. Well, fortunately, you are not the target market, weirdo.
:''[The Once-ler strums his guitar.]''
:'''The Lorax''': You're bringing a guitar?
:'''The Once-ler''': Oh, yeah. I got a little jingle. I'm gonna blow some minds, gonna sell some Thneeds! ''[He holds up the Thneed defiantly.]'' Yeah. ''[slams the door, waking up a Swommee-Swan, who HONKS.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[In deleted scene, The Man tosses the Thneed which lands on a nerdy teen girl's head, knocking her glasses off and letting her hair down. She slowly flips her hair with the Thneed on her head as if there was supposed to be a dramatic change to her appearance.]''
:'''Teen Boy''': Hey. Cool hat.
:'''Teen Girl 1''': Oh, my gosh. I totally want one.
:'''Teen Girl 2''': That thing makes me like you more.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Grizelda''': ''[referring to the Lorax]'' So, who invited the giant furry peanut?
:'''The Lorax''': You callin' me a peanut, huh? I'll go right up your nose!
:'''Grizelda''': Ha! ''[advances on him]''
:'''The Once-ler''': Whoa, whoa, whoa! You wouldn't hit a woman.
:'''The Lorax''': ''[gasps]'' That's a ''woman''?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''The Lorax''': Happy yet? You filled that hole deep down inside you, or do you still need more?
:'''The Once-ler''': Look, if you've got a problem with what I'm doing, why haven't you used your quote-unquote &quot;powers&quot; to stop me?
:'''The Lorax''': I told you, that's not how it works.
:'''The Once-ler''': Right, I forgot... you're a fraud! I need you to get out! Now!
:'''The Lorax''': Why? Do I make you uncomfortable,  remind you of the promises you made, the man you used to be?
:'''The Once-ler''': You know what? You can just shut your mustache! ''[Begins inching towards the Lorax, who backs away]'' My conscience is clear. I have done nothing illegal, I have my rights, and I intend to keep on biggering and biggering, and turning more Truffula trees in to Thneeds! ''[The Lorax falls backwards and hits the ground.]'' '''And nothing is going to stop me!'''
:''[In the distance, a loud motor is heard. The Once-ler and Lorax both look and see the VERY LAST TRUFFULA TREE being chopped down by a Super Axe-Hacker.]''
:'''The Lorax''': That's it. The very last one. That may stop you.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bernice''': Ted, I would like you to meet Mr. O'Hare, the most powerful man in town.
:'''Mr. O'Hare''': ''[Ted's eyes widen in shock and surprise]'' There he is! Hello, Ted.
:'''Ted''': ''[nervously]'' Uh... Hi.
:'''Bernice''': Isn't he clever, Mr. O'Hare? He knows his own name and everything.
:'''Mr. O'Hare''': You know what I would love right now, Mrs. Wiggins? A delicious cookie. Wonderful. Teddy and I'll stay here and talk.
:'''Bernice''': Sure, why don't you go ahead and adopt him? I'm just kidding. That was a joke. I was just joking. I'll get your cookie.
:'''Mr. O'Hare''': I know you have it, Ted. So, let's put an end to this nonsense, shall we? ''[Ted angrily faces him]'' Hand it over.
:'''Ted''': I'm sorry... I don't know what you're talking about.
:'''Mr. O'Hare''': Really? Well, then... I guess you wouldn't mind us checking your room.
:'''Ted''': No, no, no!
:'''Mr. O'Hare''': Morty! McGurk! Find the seed!
:'''Ted''': No, you can't go up there! Guys, this is ridiculous. Stop! Hey! No, you can't come in my room!
:'''Mr. O'Hare''': Find it! ''[O'Hare barges into Ted's room trying to find and destroy the Truffula seed]'' Find it!
:'''Bernice''': What is going on here?
:'''Mr. O'Hare''': ''[to Bernice, after she comes up stairs and stares on in shock]'' '''THIS DOESN'T INVOLVE YOU!''' Get back downstairs!
:'''Bernice''': ''[to O’Hare]'' Excuse me, down there! I don't care who you are, you little crazy baby-man! Get out of my house now. This is outrageous.
:'''Mr. O'Hare''': Fine. Sorry. ''[chuckles]'' Must have been a misunderstanding. We'll be leaving now. And my apologies, Ted. You be safe. ''[O’Hare takes the plate of cookies that Mrs. Wiggins is holding, and she splutters.]''
:'''Bernice''': Mind telling me what's going on here?
:'''Ted''': The seed! Where is it?
:'''Bernice''': Seed?
:''[Ted finds Grammy Norma's cane]''
:'''Ted''': Where's Grammy?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Audrey''': ''[to Ted]'' I could just kiss you right now! ''[Ted and Audrey lean in to kiss, but Bernice stops them]''
:'''Bernice''': ''Oop!'' We don't have time for that!
:'''Ted''': I dunno, we have a little time. ''[Audrey and Bernice stare at him]'' You know what? Let's just go. Let's go. Forget about it.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Once-ler, now elderly with a white mustache, reunites with the Lorax, laughing]''
:'''The Lorax''': You done good, Beanpole. You done good. ''[short pause as he hugs his old friend for a moment, then chuckles]'' By the way, nice mustache.

== About ''{{PAGENAME}}'' ==
* One of the funny things that we discovered was that because they don't look like trees or animals that we understand or relate to directly, you have to create, based on Seuss' illustrations, something that's believable. Because the Truffula trees are beautiful -- they look like cotton candy. But, by the same token, you have to create something that the audience feels something for. So it can't just feel like Candy Land; you have to buy it as a real forest. So we looked at Birch trees and then figured out how to make those wonderful illustrations work in a 3-D movie. It's a real fantasy forest that you could relate to when it's being chopped down.
* We had a design that was very city-like and very dense, which wasn't quite working. But we went back and looked at a little drawing in the upper corner of the page when the little boy is first coming to look at the Lorax. And we sort of used that as our basis: it's got these big, curvy roads and a couple of building shapes. In some ways, the easier choice would've been to create a Blade Runner-like dystopian future with smog. But of course we wanted to create something that was fun and entertaining, but in some way relates a little more about where we are today, with inflatable bushes and plastic flowers and fake nature that still has a sense of fun, much like Disneyland or Las Vegas or Dubai. So, in the movie that felt like a great way to go but also suggesting that you have to be careful to maintain balance with nature so it can be sustained.
:* Chris Renaud [http://www.awn.com/animationworld/chris-renaud-talks-lorax/ &quot;Chris Renaud Talks 'The Lorax'&quot;], as interviewed by Bill Desowitz,  ''Animation World Network'', Friday, March 2, 2012.

== Cast ==
* [[w:Danny DeVito|Danny DeVito]] — The Lorax
* [[w:Ed Helms|Ed Helms]] — The Once-ler
* [[w:Zac Efron|Zac Efron]] — Ted
* [[Taylor Swift]] — Audrey
* [[w:Rob Riggle|Rob Riggle]] — Mr. O'Hare
* [[w:Jenny Slate|Jenny Slate]] — Bernice
* [[w:Betty White|Betty White]] — Grammy Norma
* [[w:Jeff Bennett|Jeff Glen Bennett]] — Morty
* [[w:Nasim Pedrad|Nasim Pedrad]] — Isabella
* [[w:Elmarie Wendel|Elmarie Wendel]] — Grizelda
* [[Stephen Tobolowsky]] — Ubb
* [[w:Danny Cooksey|Danny Cooksey]] — Brett &amp; Chet

== See Also ==
* [[How the Grinch Stole Christmas (film)|How the Grinch Stole Christmas]]
* [[The Cat in the Hat (film)|The Cat in the Hat]]
* [[Horton Hears a Who! (film)|Horton Hears a Who! (film)]]

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=1482459|title=The Lorax}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Lorax (film), The}}
[[Category:2012 films]]
[[Category:2010s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]
[[Category:Animated films about bears]]
[[Category:Animated films about birds]]
[[Category:Animated films about fish]]
[[Category:Films based on works by Dr. Seuss]]
[[Category:Films set in forests]]
[[Category:Chris Renaud films]]</text>
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    <title>Talk:Toy Story 3</title>
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== Deleted Scenes ==

=== Move Out! ===
:''[Lee Unkrich are sits at the introducing.]''
:'''Unkrich''': Before, the director of the movie, this deleted scenes. The making of ''[[Toy Story 3]]''. Sarge and the troops are move out. Before, the lost of ''Toy Story 3''. The Green Army Men goes to Al's Toy Barn, in ''[[Toy Story 2]]''. Michael Arndt final screenplay, the deleted scenes of ''Toy Story 3''. Enjoy!
:'''Woody''': Okay, places, everyone. ''[pushes something aside]'' Come on, come on. Get in position.
:'''Mrs. Potato Head''': Wait! I can't find my other eye!
:'''Hamm''': Alright, who's foot's in my face?
:'''Mr. Potato Head''': It's mine. Give it back.
:'''Aliens''': You have saved our lives. We are eternally grateful.
:'''Mr. Potato Head''': ''[groans]'' Shhh!
:'''Jessie''': Buzz, mind if I squeeze in next to you?
:'''Buzz''': Yes. I mean, no. What would I mind ''[stammering]'' squeezing next to you? ''[sniffs]'' Is it hot in here?
:'''Rex''': ''[seeing something]'' Oh, here they come!
:''[Sarge and two of his men carry a sock into the room]''
:'''Woody''': Sarge, you got it?
:'''Sarge''': Mission accomplished.
:'''Rex''': Hooray!
:''[Hamm laughing]''
:'''Mrs. Potato Head''': Oooh!
:'''Woody''': Careful, careful.
:''[Buzz and Woody shake the sock and a mobile phone drops out]''
:'''Jessie''': Ooh!
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Woody''': All right, guys. We got one shot at this. Everyone ready?
:'''Jessie''': ''[holds up another phone]'' We're ready, Woody! Let's do it.
:'''Woody:''' ''[to Buzz]'' Okay, Buzz. Make the call.
:''[Buzz opens his wrist communicator to reveal a phone number which Jessie dials into her phone. Woody passes the mobile phone to Rex who holds it. Jessie presses the dial button on her phone and the mobile phone Rex is holding rings, making him jump. Buzz, Jessie and Woody peak out of the chest and here footsteps approaching the room]''
:'''Buzz''': Target is on approach.
:'''Woody''': Just like we rehearsed it, guys.
:''[They go back in. A shadow creeps over the chest as the toys freeze and the Irelanders hide. Andy, now a teenager, opens the chest and fumbles around for his phone until he picks up Rex who is still holding it. Andy yanks the phone free from Rex's grasp and flips it open before putting it to his ear]''
:'''Andy''': Hello? ''[on the phone Woody's holding]'' Hello? Anyone there. ''[sighs and hangs up, to Molly, now a little girl]'' Molly, stay out of my room!
:'''Molly''': I wasn't in your room!
:''[Andy looks at Rex before putting him back into the chest and closing it before heading out of the room]''
:'''Andy''': Then who was messing with my stuff?
:'''Molly''': It wasn't me!
:''[Andy shuts the door behind him. Woody looks out of the chest sadly with Buzz before they look at each other.]''
:'''Mr. Potato Head''': Well, that went well.
:'''Mrs. Potato Head''': Oh.
:'''Rex''': He held me! He actually held me!
:'''Hamm''': Oh, this is just sad.
:'''Mr. Potato Head''': Who are we kidding? The kid's 17 years old.
:'''Slinky''': We ain't ever getting played with.
:''[Buzz and Woody get out the chest before Buzz gives Woody a nod.]''
:'''Woody''': ''[sighs]'' Guys, hey, hold up. We need a staff meeting. Everyone! A staff meeting!
:'''Hamm''': Oh, not again.
:'''Woody''': Oh, come on. [to Slinky] Slink, gather everyone up.
:'''Slinky''': Uh, we are gathered, Woody.
:'''Woody''': Okay. First off, we all knew Operation Playtime was a long shot.
:'''Mr. Potato Head''': More like a misfire.
:'''Woody''': But we always said this job isn't about getting play with, it's about...
:'''Jessie''': Being there for Andy, we know.
:'''Rex''': But we can try again! Right?
:'''Woody''': I'm calling it, guys. We're closing up shop.
:'''Other toys''': What?
:'''Woody''': Andy's going to college any day now. That was our last shot.
:'''Mrs. Potato Head''': Oh.
:'''Buzz''': We're going into attic mode, folks. Keep you accessories with you at all times. Spare parts, batteries, anything you need for orderly transition.
:'''Mr. Potato Head''': Orderly?! Don't you get it?! We're done! Finished! Over the hill!
:'''Woody''': Hey! Come on, guys! We all knew this day was coming.
:'''Hamm''': Yeah but now it's here.
:''[As they're talking, Buzz notices Sarge and his two paratroopers climbing up onto Andy's desk to the window]''
:'''Woody''': Look, every toy goes through this! No one has to...
:'''Buzz''': Hey, Sarge! What are you doing?
:'''Sarge''': The war's over, folks. Me and the boys are moving on.
:'''Woody''': Moving on?!
:'''Buzz''': You're going AWOL?!
:'''Sarge''': We've done our duty. Andy's grown up.
:'''Paratrooper #1''': Let's face it. When the trash bags come out, we army guys are the first to go.
:'''Buzz''': Trash bags?
:'''Woody''': Who said anything about trash bags?
:'''Sarge''': It has been an honor serving with you. Good luck, folks.
:''[One of the paratroopers grab Sarge and they parachute out of the window]''
:'''Paratrooper #2''': You're gonna need it.
:''[He follows after them]''
:'''Woody''': No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait!
:''[Sarge and the paratroopers are spin around, and they see Al's Toy Barn. As they near the entrance, they see a sign that says &quot;OPENED&quot;.]''
:'''Builder''': Get them!
:'''Cop''': It's getting away!
:'''Sarge''': Now, it's opened.
:'''Paratrooper #1''': We're the green soldiers. Sarge. We can read.
:''[They see Al talking a phone while walking towards the door which opens with the moo sound effect and he goes in.]''
:'''Man''': Hey, Al, you're late! We got a ton of toys to unload in the back.
:'''Al''': ''[on phone]'' All right. All right. I'm coming. I'm coming!
:'''Man''': Come on! Let's get moving!
:'''Sarge''': All right, troops. Let's go.
:'''Paratrooper #2''': But, the sign says it's opened!
:''[They run to the door and jump on the mat trying to open the door]''
:'''Sarge''': No. No. No. No. All together. Now!
:''[They jump together, grunting, and the door opens. As they run inside, Sarge and the paratroopers walk to the aisles and look at them in awe.]''
:'''Woman''': ''[on phone]'' Of course, the toys on his shelf. The toy store Buzz Lightyears, you know.
:'''Joe''': ''[to the employee]'' How may I help you, Al.
:'''Employee''': Excuse me, ma'am.
:'''Sarge''': The bakery for a grocery stores. ''[to the kids]'' I see it!
:'''Boy''': Al McWhiggin.
:'''Girl''': Feel like catching the Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots fight.
:'''Paratrooper #1''': Oh!
:'''Sarge''': We're the shopping lists of toys: Buzz Lightyears, Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots, Green Army Men, and Barbie Dolls.
:''[The pile of the man carrying the Green Army Men on the birthday cake, Mater and the words &quot;Dad Gum&quot; on birthday cake, and Nemo party brand]''
:'''Man''': The bakery of the employees your shopping at the freeze on frozen.
:'''Paratrooper #2''': How about Al's office.
:'''Al''': ''[on phone]'' Mr. Konishi saved us will again. Okay. ''[hangs up]''
:'''Sarge''': ''[to Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots]'' Excuse me, gentlemen. How may I help you, catching the robot fight?!
:'''Robots''': Huh?
:'''[[w:Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots|Blue Bomber]]''': You want I might, I didn't.
:'''Red Rocker''': Hey! Back off, sir!
:'''Blue Bomber''': No! Back off, ma'am!
:'''Red Rocker''': Now, get off!
:'''Sarge''': I'm sorry, guys. The toy collector's office against the buildings, you know.
:'''Paratrooper #1''': ''[to Sarge]'' These kids are bring it the toy stores.
:'''Joe''': ''[offscreen]'' Get away!
:'''Al''': You know.
:'''Paratrooper #2''': Sarge, goes to the Pizza Planet truck.
[[Special:Contributions/76.129.158.37|76.129.158.37]] 17:44, 20 August 2022 (UTC)</text>
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== Deleted Scenes ==

=== Move Out! ===
:''[Lee Unkrich are sits at the introducing.]''
:'''Unkrich''': Before, the director of the movie, this deleted scenes. The making of ''[[Toy Story 3]]''. Sarge and the troops are move out. Before, the lost of ''Toy Story 3''. The Green Army Men goes to Al's Toy Barn, in ''[[Toy Story 2]]''. Michael Arndt final screenplay, the deleted scenes of ''Toy Story 3''. Enjoy!
:'''Woody''': Okay, places, everyone. ''[pushes something aside]'' Come on, come on. Get in position.
:'''Mrs. Potato Head''': Wait! I can't find my other eye!
:'''Hamm''': Alright, who's foot's in my face?
:'''Mr. Potato Head''': It's mine. Give it back.
:'''Aliens''': You have saved our lives. We are eternally grateful.
:'''Mr. Potato Head''': ''[groans]'' Shhh!
:'''Jessie''': Buzz, mind if I squeeze in next to you?
:'''Buzz''': Yes. I mean, no. What would I mind ''[stammering]'' squeezing next to you? ''[sniffs]'' Is it hot in here?
:'''Rex''': ''[seeing something]'' Oh, here they come!
:''[Sarge and two of his men carry a sock into the room]''
:'''Woody''': Sarge, you got it?
:'''Sarge''': Mission accomplished.
:'''Rex''': Hooray!
:''[Hamm laughing]''
:'''Mrs. Potato Head''': Oooh!
:'''Woody''': Careful, careful.
:''[Buzz and Woody shake the sock and a mobile phone drops out]''
:'''Jessie''': Ooh!
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Woody''': All right, guys. We got one shot at this. Everyone ready?
:'''Jessie''': ''[holds up another phone]'' We're ready, Woody! Let's do it.
:'''Woody:''' ''[to Buzz]'' Okay, Buzz. Make the call.
:''[Buzz opens his wrist communicator to reveal a phone number which Jessie dials into her phone. Woody passes the mobile phone to Rex who holds it. Jessie presses the dial button on her phone and the mobile phone Rex is holding rings, making him jump. Buzz, Jessie and Woody peak out of the chest and here footsteps approaching the room]''
:'''Buzz''': Target is on approach.
:'''Woody''': Just like we rehearsed it, guys.
:''[They go back in. A shadow creeps over the chest as the toys freeze and the Irelanders hide. Andy, now a teenager, opens the chest and fumbles around for his phone until he picks up Rex who is still holding it. Andy yanks the phone free from Rex's grasp and flips it open before putting it to his ear]''
:'''Andy''': Hello? ''[on the phone Woody's holding]'' Hello? Anyone there. ''[sighs and hangs up, to Molly, now a little girl]'' Molly, stay out of my room!
:'''Molly''': I wasn't in your room!
:''[Andy looks at Rex before putting him back into the chest and closing it before heading out of the room]''
:'''Andy''': Then who was messing with my stuff?
:'''Molly''': It wasn't me!
:''[Andy shuts the door behind him. Woody looks out of the chest sadly with Buzz before they look at each other.]''
:'''Mr. Potato Head''': Well, that went well.
:'''Mrs. Potato Head''': Oh.
:'''Rex''': He held me! He actually held me!
:'''Hamm''': Oh, this is just sad.
:'''Mr. Potato Head''': Who are we kidding? The kid's 17 years old.
:'''Slinky''': We ain't ever getting played with.
:''[Buzz and Woody get out the chest before Buzz gives Woody a nod.]''
:'''Woody''': ''[sighs]'' Guys, hey, hold up. We need a staff meeting. Everyone! A staff meeting!
:'''Hamm''': Oh, not again.
:'''Woody''': Oh, come on. ''[to Slinky]'' Slink, gather everyone up.
:'''Slinky''': Uh, we are gathered, Woody.
:'''Woody''': Okay. First off, we all knew Operation Playtime was a long shot.
:'''Mr. Potato Head''': More like a misfire.
:'''Woody''': But we always said this job isn't about getting play with, it's about...
:'''Jessie''': Being there for Andy, we know.
:'''Rex''': But we can try again! Right?
:'''Woody''': I'm calling it, guys. We're closing up shop.
:'''Other toys''': What?
:'''Woody''': Andy's going to college any day now. That was our last shot.
:'''Mrs. Potato Head''': Oh.
:'''Buzz''': We're going into attic mode, folks. Keep you accessories with you at all times. Spare parts, batteries, anything you need for orderly transition.
:'''Mr. Potato Head''': Orderly?! Don't you get it?! We're done! Finished! Over the hill!
:'''Woody''': Hey! Come on, guys! We all knew this day was coming.
:'''Hamm''': Yeah but now it's here.
:''[As they're talking, Buzz notices Sarge and his two paratroopers climbing up onto Andy's desk to the window]''
:'''Woody''': Look, every toy goes through this! No one has to...
:'''Buzz''': Hey, Sarge! What are you doing?
:'''Sarge''': The war's over, folks. Me and the boys are moving on.
:'''Woody''': Moving on?!
:'''Buzz''': You're going AWOL?!
:'''Sarge''': We've done our duty. Andy's grown up.
:'''Paratrooper #1''': Let's face it. When the trash bags come out, we army guys are the first to go.
:'''Buzz''': Trash bags?
:'''Woody''': Who said anything about trash bags?
:'''Sarge''': It has been an honor serving with you. Good luck, folks.
:''[One of the paratroopers grab Sarge and they parachute out of the window]''
:'''Paratrooper #2''': You're gonna need it.
:''[He follows after them]''
:'''Woody''': No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait!
:''[Sarge and the paratroopers are spin around, and they see Al's Toy Barn. As they near the entrance, they see a sign that says &quot;OPENED&quot;.]''
:'''Builder''': Get them!
:'''Cop''': It's getting away!
:'''Sarge''': Now, it's opened.
:'''Paratrooper #1''': We're the green soldiers. Sarge. We can read.
:''[They see Al talking a phone while walking towards the door which opens with the moo sound effect and he goes in.]''
:'''Man''': Hey, Al, you're late! We got a ton of toys to unload in the back.
:'''Al''': ''[on phone]'' All right. All right. I'm coming. I'm coming!
:'''Man''': Come on! Let's get moving!
:'''Sarge''': All right, troops. Let's go.
:'''Paratrooper #2''': But, the sign says it's opened!
:''[They run to the door and jump on the mat trying to open the door]''
:'''Sarge''': No. No. No. No. All together. Now!
:''[They jump together, grunting, and the door opens. As they run inside, Sarge and the paratroopers walk to the aisles and look at them in awe.]''
:'''Woman''': ''[on phone]'' Of course, the toys on his shelf. The toy store Buzz Lightyears, you know.
:'''Joe''': ''[to the employee]'' How may I help you, Al.
:'''Employee''': Excuse me, ma'am.
:'''Sarge''': The bakery for a grocery stores. ''[to the kids]'' I see it!
:'''Boy''': Al McWhiggin.
:'''Girl''': Feel like catching the Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots fight.
:'''Paratrooper #1''': Oh!
:'''Sarge''': We're the shopping lists of toys: Buzz Lightyears, Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots, Green Army Men, and Barbie Dolls.
:''[The pile of the man carrying the Green Army Men on the birthday cake, Mater and the words &quot;Dad Gum&quot; on birthday cake, and Nemo party brand]''
:'''Man''': The bakery of the employees your shopping at the freeze on frozen.
:'''Paratrooper #2''': How about Al's office.
:'''Al''': ''[on phone]'' Mr. Konishi saved us will again. Okay. ''[hangs up]''
:'''Sarge''': ''[to Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots]'' Excuse me, gentlemen. How may I help you, catching the robot fight?!
:'''Robots''': Huh?
:'''[[w:Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots|Blue Bomber]]''': You want I might, I didn't.
:'''Red Rocker''': Hey! Back off, sir!
:'''Blue Bomber''': No! Back off, ma'am!
:'''Red Rocker''': Now, get off!
:'''Sarge''': I'm sorry, guys. The toy collector's office against the buildings, you know.
:'''Paratrooper #1''': ''[to Sarge]'' These kids are bring it the toy stores.
:'''Joe''': ''[offscreen]'' Get away!
:'''Al''': You know.
:'''Paratrooper #2''': Sarge, goes to the Pizza Planet truck.
[[Special:Contributions/76.129.158.37|76.129.158.37]] 17:44, 20 August 2022 (UTC)</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Salman Khan</title>
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'''[[:en:Salman Khan|Salman Khan]]''' ([[w:Marathi|Marathi]]: ''सलमान खान''  (Devanagari)) (pronunciation : [səlˈmaːn ˈxaːn]; born '''Abdul Rashid Salim Salman Khan''' on [[27 December]] [[1865]]) is one of the biggest and most successful [[India|Indian]] film [[Actors|actors]]. He has been active for last 29 years (1988-present).

==Quotes==

* The only person I have hurt is me. 
* In life go straight and turn right.&lt;ref&gt;https://fbcdn-profile-a.akamaihd.net/hprofile-ak-frc3/c100.0.300.300/s160x160/26982_345609288138_6040587_n.jpg?lvh=1&lt;/ref&gt;
* A lion runs to the fastest when he is hungry.But nomatter how the economy is of the country he can never eat grass.
* The older you get, the better you have to look, the higher you have to kick, the harder you have to work.
* For me acting, comes straight from the heart. In that sense I don't act at all. I think that to feel the character's pain I have to be myself. Somewhere audiences see that.
* [On his childhood problems and his father's second marriage to Helen] It was very difficult in the beginning, when everybody was talking about it. My mother just couldn't take it. It hurt her terribly. She used to worry all the time, go in to depression frequently. When she cried, we children used to cry with her
* In life go straight and turn right.
* Why should I marry? One marries to have children, but I already have children! My nieces and nephews are my children. I wanted to marry to make babies, but now I have them, so marriage isn't that important, is it?&lt;ref&gt;http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006795/bio#quotes&lt;/ref&gt;
* [When asked about the best actresses from the current crop] There's Rani, then there's Preity, Based on work, Aishwarya... Priyanka is very good... Then there are the new girls like Lara and Katrina. [When asked his favorite and the best out the lot] As an actor? Rani Mukerji. [Smiles]&lt;ref&gt;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylnvZvFLTc4&amp;feature=fvwrel&lt;/ref&gt;
* I can get caught in many things but there is one thing I will never get caught in, and that is acting - because I don't act. On screen I am like I am in real life.
* I'm not possessive, I'm caring... Once you realize a person doesn't want that much care, you automatically back off.&lt;ref&gt;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DN_s6qw49C4&lt;/ref&gt;
* Sometimes it happens with me that I start laughing and just can't stop.&lt;ref&gt;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3mgQ3v1Jyw&lt;/ref&gt;
* I never avoided the media. Truly, speaking I don’t have any grudges. See, I am ready to give all the answers. Actually, I have changed. There was a time, when I would show my annoyance but every action is guided by a reason. The media annoyed me. I still feel there are certain questions, which are personal, which only my parents or maybe the ones who are really close to me have the right to ask.
* I still don’t have any real interest in painting. I haven’t spoken about it either. I paint for my foundation.. to sell my work for charity. I can’t ask anyone to support or praise my paintings. I’m not a beggar. Tomorrow even if I have nothing at all, I’ll do something or the other, but I won’t beg. &lt;ref&gt;http://celebrity.psyphil.com/salman-khan-movies-list-new-films-list-latest-movie-list-filmography/&lt;/ref&gt;
* [When asked about his film release on Eid or Diwali] The best time to release a film is on a festive date like Divali or Eid, or at a time when there are no big films three to four weeks before or after. &lt;ref&gt;https://www.bollywoodlatestforu.com/2019/02/salman-khan-upcoming-movies.html&lt;/ref&gt;

*On Aamir Khan
** I love Aamir because he is very transparent.

*On Shah Rukh Khan
** [When asked if he missed him] Shah Rukh is not my girlfriend that I should remember him. When I don’t remember my past girlfriends, what will I remember Shah Rukh for?
** I hate people who come and badmouth Shah Rukh in front of me simply because Shah Rukh and I are not on talking terms. I can understand if Shah Rukh talks ill of me or if I talk ill of him, but I can’t take it if somebody else talks ill of him to win my favour. Not done!&lt;ref&gt;http://www.bollymoviereviewz.com/search/label/Salman%20Khan&lt;/ref&gt;&lt;ref&gt;http://www.bollywoodjalwa.com/celebrity/show/90-Salman-Khan&lt;/ref&gt;

*On [[Rani Mukerji]]
** I have known Rani for a long time. She is a fantastic actress. She is one of the amazing girls in the industry.
** She knows who she is and what she can do. After a long time Bollywood has got an actress like Rani. She is naughty, masti khor and a wonderful friend. She has taken acting as her career and given her 100%. Somehow Rani has acting in her genes.&lt;ref&gt;http://www.pinkvilla.com/entertainment/discussion/stars-speak-rani-birthday-girl&lt;/ref&gt;
** [Speaking about Rani on Big Boss Season 4] She is one of the best actresses we have in the country... And an amazing dancer... Look at that smile! Love you, Rani.&lt;ref&gt;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8mz1wQFmcA&lt;/ref&gt;
**I have worked with Rani in three films. She wasn’t taken seriously, initially. But now her talent is there for all to see. She is the only actress who has incredible comic timing. Even though she sported ugly glasses and had an awkward gait in Black, her performance was simply amazing. She doesn’t stoop to manipulation or backbiting. Now I can confidently say, she is here to stay.&lt;ref&gt;http://www.freewebs.com/ranimukerjiworld/interviewsquotes.htm&lt;/ref&gt;

*On Sonakshi Sinha
** Probably coming from a filmi background and having seen her parents living the Bollywood lifestyle, she knows how to remain grounded.&lt;ref&gt;http://www.bollywoodlife.com/news-gossip/salman-khan-is-impressed-with-sonakshi-sinha-all-over-again/&lt;/ref&gt;
** She’s killing it. She’s killing it in Dabangg 2. We are now shooting a song, she’s gonna look really really beautiful in that song. Mrs. Rajjo Pandey can do anything.
** I’m sure about that

*Ram Charan and Chiranjeevi

He’s also a good friend. His son (Ram Charan) is a friend as well. He’s done an incredible job at RRR. I merely wished him a happy birthday and good luck with his film. I’m quite proud of him. It’s wonderful that he’s doing so well. &lt;ref&gt;https://www.tollywoodlife.com/2022/03/30/salman-khan-praised-ram-charan-performance-in-rrr/&lt;/ref&gt;

== Quotes About Salman ==
I have never seen Salman Khan.. But the way he acts is superb. It's like he is in real world. And those blockbusters of his they rock and i don't even miss them.. We thank the almighty for giving us this kind of a person. Even though I've never seen him i can see his good humanity, kindness and a generous guy. I hope i will meet you one day 
*Aamir Khan
** I am a fan of Salman Khan. I love watching his moves. I must tell you a secret. I do not know how to whistle. But whenever Salman organises a trial for me; which he always does; I carry a plastic whistle with me and I bring the house down with my ceetis. I don't know about Shah Rukh. I can't compare us.
** According to me Salman is ahead of me.In the manner in which his film Bodyguard has got an opening, it has broken all records and today according to me, if there is anyone who is the number one box office star, then that is Salman.
** I would love to work with Salman. We have a great tuning so if we work together, it will be great fun. But till the time we don't get a good script, a script that excites both of us, we can't work together.&lt;ref&gt;http://www.hindustantimes.com/Entertainment/Bollywood/Salman-is-number-one-Aamir-Khan/Article1-743829.aspx&lt;/ref&gt;

*Shah Rukh Khan
** We’re two different people, very happy in our spaces &amp; very good in our spaces. And I think it should remain like that. But it’s not animosity, it’s not anger, and it’s not disturbing. People ask if we avoid each other at public places; frankly, we don’t. If we do meet, what are we going to do? I’m happy for his films and I’m happy if he’s at peace; because when I came to Mumbai, his family and he were wonderful to me and my family, and they still continue to be. They are amazingly nice and gentle people. Only two people amongst them have an issue &amp; I think we’re too old and set to try and resolve it in any other way. Salman and I are settled ‘in’ our differences; we have not yet settled our differences.&lt;ref&gt;http://www.bollywoodbuzz.in/shah-rukh-khan-talks-about-his-equation-with-aamir-farah-salman-khan/&lt;/ref&gt;
** If Salman is angry with me, it is 100% my fault. And I'd like to say I'm sorry.&lt;ref&gt;http://www.hindustantimes.com/Entertainment/Tabloid/Top-10-Shah-Rukh-Khan-controversies/Article1-857227.aspx&lt;/ref&gt;

* Hrithik Roshan
** Salman is a friend. He helped me out before I came into films and I'll always respect him for that. Actually it's all thanks to them that I am where I am! He's like a brother. He taught me fitness and Rahul Kumar taught me dancing.

* Akshay Kumar
** I've enjoyed doing David Dhawan's 'Mujhse Shaadi Karogi' where my co-star is Salman Khan. I had heard so many things about him. But he turned out to be a cool guy. We really hit it off and had ourselves a ball on the sets.
** It has been a wonderful experience working with him. I remember Salman's words, &quot; Akshay this is my last film with you. You arrive early on the sets and just to keep up with you, I too have to get up early and be on the sets.&quot; But I am sure Salman and i going to work in other film soon.&lt;ref&gt;http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=476977&lt;/ref&gt;

*Ajay Devgan
** I have spent a month and a half with him while shooting for London Dreams. We got along very well during Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam also. The best thing is, whenever we have met after that we have always picked up from where we left off. We did that again. We get along well as we are both very straightforward and are honest people who don't care what others are doing. Salman and I are happy doing our own thing. We don't plan or plot to harm others; that's why we get along.&lt;ref&gt;http://www.planetsrk.com/community/threads/ajay-devgan-talks-about-srk-in-new-interview.14291/&lt;/ref&gt;
** Salman has the best body in the industry. We are very good friends and when he tweeted about my six packs for my film, I take it as a compliment.&lt;ref&gt;http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/salman-khan-ajay-devgan-singham-rohit-shetty-khakee-golmaal/1/145541.html&lt;/ref&gt;

*Rani Mukerji
** Salman Khan is probably one of the most good looking people we have in our industry.&lt;ref&gt;http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=D3mgQ3v1Jyw&lt;/ref&gt;
** Salman is absolutely adorable. I really love him as he is always himself. I only laugh when I am with him, he is so entertaining. He is a rockstar. When he comes on screen, not only the common man but we actors also clap and whistle for him and say, ‘Star aa gaya’. He is so good looking. When he passes by, you actually stop to turn and look at him. When I saw the promos of Dabangg, I called him and both of us went completely mad. He is a cult figure. Just as the South has Rajinikanth, we have Salman!&lt;ref&gt;http://www.screenindia.com/news/rani-mukerji-queen-of-hearts/799321/&lt;/ref&gt; 
** Salman was so sweet. He helps you whenever you're in trouble, whether thats personally or professionally. He'll help you with your scenes in the film, with your dialogs and also give friendly advice. I have worked with him in a few films and it's always been great. I'm looking forward to working with him again!&lt;ref&gt;http://ranimukherji.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&amp;board=interviews&amp;thread=412&amp;page=1&lt;/ref&gt;
** I absolutely enjoy working with Salman because I completely agree with the fact that he is the original rockstar. Nobody else is a rockstar quite like him and there is simply nobody else like him. He’s one of the most amazing actors we’ve got because the way he switches on and switches off with the camera is incredible. He becomes someone else when the camera is on and is somebody else when it’s off. He could be joking, playing around and saying something out of this planet before a shot and suddenly, with the lights, he’s all there; and that’s very difficult for an actor. Salman is a great actor because he can just transform into anybody. Full marks to him. My rapport with him, from the first day has been super. Maybe because we’re both alike - truthful, honest - so he and we connect.&lt;ref&gt;http://ranimukherji.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=interviews&amp;action=display&amp;thread=407&lt;/ref&gt;
** Salman is a very close friend of mine and I can always count on him.&lt;ref&gt;http://ranimukherji.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=interviews&amp;action=display&amp;thread=626&lt;/ref&gt;

*Katrina Kaif
** I have been able to achieve this position in Bollywood because of Salman Khan. When I came to Mumbai, I knew no one. It was Salman who held my hand at that time. The media unnecessarily hypes our relationship. The truth is that Salman is nothing less than Godfather for me. Now, when Salman’s films are a hit, why can’t I express my happiness, be happy for Salman? I enjoyed the opportunity to do an item number in ‘Bodyguard’ with Salman Khan.&lt;ref&gt;http://www.emirates247.com/entertainment/why-can-t-i-be-happy-for-salman-katrina-2011-09-15-1.418705&lt;/ref&gt;

*Bipasha Basu
** He's really just a misunderstood guy. He loves to give this image of being a big bully but he's actually more decent than a lot of actors who pretend they are chivalrous and then turn out to be real cads. People love to hear negative things about Salman. But I think he's just an overgrown baby who loves doing a little masti!

*Ameesha Patel
** Salman is getting a way too much negativity than he deserves. People are using him as a pawn in their selfish gains, to cover up certain mistakes they've made. Salman has kept his dignity. Never in the press has he betrayed the trust of any of the women he's been with. They have thrashed him, left, right, and center. A coin always has two sides, and we are in no position to judge a person's relationship. But you've been in a relationship for three years, so you've obviously seen something nice about it. Salman could've said negative things about Ash or Vivek, but he didn't. And I respect him for that, because I'd go loony in a situation like that, if I were to be used as a pawn.

*Diya Mirza
** Salman Khan has got a very good physique. He looks just like a Greek god. But, he hasn't let his goodlooks go to his head. I consider him to be one of the most efficient, intelligent people I have met so far. I was a rank newcomer when I signed Tumko Na Bhool Paayenge and the stories I had heard about Salman's wild antics were making me nervous. I had mentally prepared myself for torment. But what followed was an exact anti-thesis. From day one itself, Salman was courtesy personified. This line is totally male dominated and it helps a heroine a great deal if her hero treats her with respect. That sets a benchmark for everybody else on the sets. From the spotboy onwards to the producer and the director, nobody dares to mistreat her. Working in the film with Salman has been one of the happiest experiences of my life, one that I will always cherish.

*Shilpa Shetty
** I have seen the guy do so much for the underprivileged and for cancer patients in Bombay. He is very charitable but he never talks about it.
** Salman is a very dear friend.

*Priyanka Chopra
** He was most helpful since I was very new when we started work on the film. Initially, I was a little distant but being a romantic film topped with large doses of comedy, it was important for us to build a rapport. Salman went out of his way to break the ice &amp; we became very cordial. In person he is very different from the image that is portrayed of him and what I learnt about him in this short span, is that he is highly misunderstood. &lt;ref&gt;http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=476977&lt;/ref&gt;

*Preity Zinta
** Salman is very cute. Thanks to his spontaneity and cuteness, he can make the silliest thing look normal and believable. If he looks at you, he looks like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth. But he has this naughtiness and that’s what lights up his face.&lt;ref&gt;http://salmanonline.net/what-stars-say-about-me/&lt;/ref&gt;

* I'm a huge Salman fan. I`m not just waiting; I`m dying to work with him. And he has huge fan following at my office. My writers and directors are a smitten bunch. They tell me, take your time signing him for a film, but please just call him to the office so we can interact, click pics and chat with him.
**[[w:Karan Johar|Karan Johar]] [http://zeenews.india.com/entertainment/celebrity/i-m-dying-to-work-with-salman-khan-karan-johar_119911.htm]

* [Recalling a serious accident he went through] I feel I couldn't go through with the traumatic time if it wasn't for Salman Khan . He not only stood by me, but made sure that I resumed shooting within six days of the fire. He dropped in twice on the sets after I returned to shoot just to see if all was okay. Salman is and always will be my dearest friend and my brother. 
**[[w:Sanjay Leela Bhansali|Sanjay Leela Bhansali]]
 
* Nothing on earth can ruin my relationship with Salim uncle's family. Not many people know that my mother and Salman's father have acted in a film together. I've known the family for donkey's years. Salman and I have grown up together. If he sulks with me or acts tough, I can kick his ass. There can't be any problem between us.
**[[w:Farah Khan|Farah Khan]] [http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=476977]

*However, the fact that Mushrif has to apologise for giving his community good news from Gujarat, gives us an idea of the kind of intellectual terror Congress and its “secular” allies have come to exercise among Muslims. They must appear as permanent victims in the Congress scheme of things or else be declared traitors as happened with Salman Khan, who dared speak a few mild words in favour of Modi’s regime or, worse still, be bulldozed into silence as happened with Maulana Vastanvi.
**Madhu Purnima Kishwar: Modi, Muslims and Media. Voices from Narendra Modi’s Gujarat, Manushi Publications, Delhi 2014.

== References ==
{{reflist}}

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Commons cat|Salman Khan}}
[https://www.lyricstalk.in/2020/04/pyaar-karona-lyrics-salman-khan.html Pyaar Karona Lyrics | Salman Khan | Sajid Wajid | Aditya Dev] (An anthem sung by Salman Khan)
{{DEFAULTSORT:Khan, Salman}}
[[Category:Actors from India]]
[[Category:Film producers]]
[[Category:Muslims from India]]
[[Category:Prisoners]]
[[Category:1965 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]

[[fa:سلمان خان]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Antinatalism</title>
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      <text bytes="214124" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Leopardi, Giacomo (1798-1837) - ritr. A Ferrazzi, Recanati, casa Leopardi.jpg|Leopardi,_Giacomo_(1798-1837)_-_ritr._A_Ferrazzi,_Recanati,_casa_Leopardi|thumb|As soon as the child is born, the mother who has just brought him into the world must console him, quiet his crying, and lighten the burden of the existence she has given him. And one of the principal duties of good parents in the childhood and early youth of their children is to comfort them, to encourage them to live, because sorrows and ills and passions are at that age much heavier than they are to those who through long experience, or simply because they have lived longer, are used to suffering. And in truth it is only fitting that the good father and the good mother, in trying to console their children, correct as best they can, and ease, the damage they have done by procreating them. Good God! Why then is man born? And why does he procreate? To console those he has given birth to for having been born?  ~ [[Giacomo Leopardi]]]]
[[File:Cioran in Romania.jpg|thumb|Nothing is a better proof of how far humanity has regressed than the impossibility of finding a single nation, a single tribe, among whom birth still provokes mourning and lamentations. ~ [[Emil Cioran]]]]
[[File:Still from &quot;Militantisme et diffusion des idées de décroissances (conférence)&quot;.png|Still_from_&quot;Militantisme_et_diffusion_des_idées_de_décroissances_(conférence)&quot;|thumb|Answer without flinching: if there existed a solution that could abolish the totality of all evils inflicted on disastrous humanity, if it was possible, by some simple remedy, incredibly cheap, immediately accessible, scrupulously inoffensive, of absolute and definitive efficiency, to stop all distress, all cries, all cries of pain, all pathologies, all protests of ill-being, all despair, all cataclysms, all anxiety, all unhappiness, in short all tortures afflicting the human species, would you have the macabre stupidity to reject such a remedy, to disdain such a miracle cure? No, that goes without saying. Well this solution does exist, and the mysterious is thereby delivered to us: it consists simply, in its saintly simplicity, to not procreate. ~ [[w:Théophile de Giraud|Théophile de Giraud]]]]
[[File:Animal Abuse Battery Cage 01.jpg|thumbnail|Humans inflict untold suffering and death on many billions of animals every year, and the overwhelming majority of humans are heavily complicit. - [[David Benatar]]]]
'''[[w:Antinatalism|Antinatalism]]''' or anti-natalism, is the [[Ethics|ethical]] view that negatively values procreation. Antinatalists argue that humans should abstain from procreation because it is morally wrong. 
__NOTOC__
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==A==

*What! Having the Infinite Force&lt;br /&gt;Only to pay oneself distressing spectacles,&lt;br /&gt; Impose massacre, inflict agony,&lt;br /&gt;Wanting before his eyes only the dead and the dying!&lt;br /&gt; In front of this spectator of our extreme pains&lt;br /&gt;Our indignation will overcome all terror;&lt;br /&gt;We will intersect our rasps of blasphemies,&lt;br /&gt;Not without a secret desire to excite his fury.&lt;br /&gt;Who knows? We may find some insult&lt;br /&gt;Who irritates him so much that, with a mad arm,&lt;br /&gt;He tears up our dark planet from the heavens,&lt;br /&gt;And shattered this unfortunate globe in a thousand shards.&lt;br /&gt; Our audacity at least would save you from being born,&lt;br /&gt;You who still sleep in the depth of the future.&lt;br /&gt;And we would come out triumphant for having, by ceasing to be,&lt;br /&gt;forced God to wash his hands off of Humanity.&lt;br /&gt;Ah! What immense joy after so much suffering!&lt;br /&gt;Through the debris, over the mass graves.&lt;br /&gt;To finally be able to let out this cry of deliverance:&lt;br /&gt;No more men under the sky, we are the last!
**{{w|Louise-Victorine Ackermann}}, ''[[iarchive:CompleteWorksOfLouiseVictorineAckermannMyLifeFirstPoemsPhilosophicalPoems1877Tra/page/n133/mode/2up|Pascal – Last Word]]'', 1871

* Miserable grain of dust&lt;br /&gt;That nothingness has rejected,&lt;br /&gt;Your life is one day on earth;&lt;br /&gt;You are nothing in the immensity.&lt;br /&gt;Your mother gave you birth, groaning:&lt;br /&gt;You were the son of his sorrows;&lt;br /&gt;And you saluted the existence&lt;br /&gt;Through shrill cries and tears,&lt;br /&gt;And ends with these lines:&lt;br /&gt;Under the weight of your ills your worn body succumbs,&lt;br /&gt;And, tasting the calm foretaste of the night,&lt;br /&gt;Your eye finally closes from the sleep of the grave:&lt;br /&gt;Rejoice, old man, this is your first happiness
**{{w|Louise-Victorine Ackermann}}, [[iarchive:CompleteWorksOfLouiseVictorineAckermannMyLifeFirstPoemsPhilosophicalPoems1877Tra|''Works of Louise-Victorine Ackermann: My Life, First Poems, Philosophical Poems'']], 1877, [[iarchive:CompleteWorksOfLouiseVictorineAckermannMyLifeFirstPoemsPhilosophicalPoems1877Tra/page/n12/mode/1up|p. 12]]

* Among the people who are created, there are always some who will have to suffer unspeakably. This fact, having been considered not only by Schopenhauer and other so-called pessimists, should influence anyone prepared to have a closer look only – and especially – at the 20th century to philosophize. Thus far, nobody has succeeded in demonstrating that the inconceivable, though immeasurable suffering inflicted upon human beings, in Auschwitz and elsewhere throughout time and space, can be compensated by the former or future happiness of the sufferers or of others. 
** Karim Akerma, ''Verebben der Menschheit?: Neganthropie und Anthropodizee'', 2000

* Only by means of relative or absolute childlessness, resulting in mankind's ebbing away, could happen what might be named – borrowing from the Greek myth – Sisyphus's revolt. He would give up his work, not in order to commit suicide but rather by refraining from having children who otherwise would have taken his spot. In such a way that at some point in time there would be no one in the rock's path which would eventually roll out. In terms of the Asian primordial decision: by means of abstention from procreation, the wheel of suffering would be deprived of its impetus until it comes to a standstill.
** Karim Akerma, ''Verebben der Menschheit?: Neganthropie und Anthropodizee'', 2000

* Although there are many answers to the question of how people should live, few thinkers have wondered about whether it is really moral to create people. Antinatalism undermines what seems obvious: that people should be begotten and born.
** Karim Akerma, [https://www.tabularasamagazin.de/was-ist-antinatalismus/ ''Was ist antinatalismus?''], 2014

* By sterilising animals, we can free them from being slaves to their instincts and from bringing more and more captive animals into the cycle of being born, contracting parasites, ageing, falling ill and dying; eating and being eaten.
** Karim Akerma, [http://akerma.de/Antinatalist%20Manifesto_Karim%20Akerma.pdf ''Antinatalist Manifesto. On the Ethics of Antinatalism: Challenging Human and Animal Procreation''], 2014

* Whoever procreates is a selfish ego-producer. On the other hand, whoever decides to adopt has the opportunity to show what true altruism is. 
** Karim Akerma, ''Antinatalismus – Ein Handbuch'', 2017

* Without God, clearly, one needs no theodicy. That is to say, there is no longer any point in enquiring into such matters as why God has permitted so much suffering or whether – if the creation of no other world than this deeply imperfect one were possible – He would have done better to forgo Creation of world and Man altogether. But modernity rid itself of the desire for a theodicy without seeing that, by doing this, it burdened itself with the obligation to provide an anthropodicy in this latter's stead. This anthropodicy takes the form of the parallel but modified question: how can it be justified, in the face of so much suffering undergone in the past, being experienced in the present, and to be expected in the future, that human beings beget more human beings?
** Karim Akerma, ''Antinatalismus – Ein Handbuch'', 2017

* If ye unto your sons would prove,&lt;br /&gt;By act how dearly them ye love,&lt;br /&gt;Then every voice of wisdom joins,&lt;br /&gt;To bid you leave them in your loins.
** [[Abul ʿAla Al-Maʿarri]], [https://ia902706.us.archive.org/35/items/studiesinislamic00nichuoft/studiesinislamic00nichuoft.pdf ''Studies in Islamic Poetry'']

* My father has perpetrated this crime against me; I am guilty of none.
** [[Abul ʿAla Al-Maʿarri]], ''Arab Socialism''
** Description: Al-Maʿarri is said to have wanted this verse inscribed over his grave.

* The lizard's ancestors are the cause of its being hunted.
**[[Abul ʿAla Al-Maʿarri]], [https://ia902706.us.archive.org/35/items/studiesinislamic00nichuoft/studiesinislamic00nichuoft.pdf ''Studies in Islamic Poetry''], 1921

* To beget is to increase the sum of evil.
**[[Abul ʿAla Al-Maʿarri]], [https://ia902706.us.archive.org/35/items/studiesinislamic00nichuoft/studiesinislamic00nichuoft.pdf ''Studies in Islamic Poetry''], 1921

* Whenever I reflect, my reflecting upon what I suffer only rouses me to blame him that begot me. And I gave peace to my children, for they are in the bliss of nonexistence which surpasses all the pleasures of this world. Had they come to life, they would have endured a misery casting them to destruction in trackless wildernesses.
**[[Abul ʿAla Al-Maʿarri]], [https://ia902706.us.archive.org/35/items/studiesinislamic00nichuoft/studiesinislamic00nichuoft.pdf ''Studies in Islamic Poetry''], 1921
*Better for Adam and all who issued forth from his loins&lt;br&gt;That he and they, yet unborn, created never had been!&lt;br&gt;For whilst his body was dust and rotten bones in the earth,&lt;br&gt;Ah, did he feel what his children saw and suffered of woe?
**[[Abul ʿAla Al-Maʿarri]], [https://ia902706.us.archive.org/35/items/studiesinislamic00nichuoft/studiesinislamic00nichuoft.pdf ''Studies in Islamic Poetry''], 1921

* All human actions are nothing more than attempts to heal the mistake of their existence.
** {{w|Abdullah al-Qasemi}}, ''أيها العقل من رآك؟''

* My wife and I had not brought any children into this world, instead we had adopted. But having your own children is not a beautiful thing. Maybe I am wrong, maybe I am too hard. But I think I'm not doin' someone a big favour by giving him life.
** [[Woody Allen]], [https://www.welt.de/kultur/article93475/Kinder-selbst-zu-produzieren-ist-keine-schoene-Sache.html ''Kinder selbst zu produzieren, ist keine schöne Sache''], 2006

* And what should I pray about? I ain't afraid of the next world; it can't be worse than this one; and in this world prayers don't cut much ice. I prayed so hard not to have a child - but I did and all. I prayed that the child might be able to stay with me - and it had to go to the Institute. I prayed that there it might stay alive - and it took and died. 
** {{w|Leonid Andreyev}}, ''The Christians''
** Description: the words of the character, Grusha.

* You began existing, raw jelly,&lt;br /&gt;And you will grow further, in your silence, so large&lt;br /&gt;Which, is natural, still some day, the crying&lt;br /&gt;will flow from the shape which you took!&lt;br /&gt;The water, in conjunction with the bare earth,&lt;br /&gt;wins over the granite, depressing it... the fright&lt;br /&gt;Convulses the spirits, and yet,&lt;br /&gt;Your development continues!&lt;br /&gt;Before, human jelly, do not progress&lt;br /&gt;And in undefined retrogradations,&lt;br /&gt;Return to the old calm of nonexistence!&lt;br /&gt;Before the Nothingness, oh! Germ, You shall still&lt;br /&gt;Reach it, like the germs of other beings&lt;br /&gt;To the supreme misfortune of being! 
** {{w|Augusto dos Anjos}}, [https://pt.wikisource.org/wiki/A_um_G%C3%A9rmen ''A um gérmen''], 1941

* Birth is the driving wheel of all ills.
** Philippe Annaba, ''Bienheureux les stériles'', 2002

* Cattle sleep well&lt;br /&gt;they peacefully chew the cud&lt;br /&gt;because they do not know that tomorrow&lt;br /&gt;their calf will head to the slaughterhouse&lt;br /&gt;to the arena&lt;br /&gt;maybe they just do not care&lt;br /&gt;Do you, too, do not care&lt;br /&gt;about the fate of your children? 
** Philippe Annaba, ''Bienheureux les stériles'', 1973

* O women, if we would compel the men&lt;br&gt;To bow to Peace, we must refrain ...&lt;br&gt;We must refrain from every depth of love. ...&lt;br&gt;All we have to do is idly sit indoors&lt;br&gt;With smooth roses powdered on our cheeks,&lt;br&gt;Our bodies burning naked through the folds&lt;br&gt;Of shining Amorgos' silk, and meet the men&lt;br&gt;With our dear Venus-plats plucked trim and neat.&lt;br&gt;Their stirring love will rise up furiously,&lt;br&gt;They'll beg our arms to open. That's our time!&lt;br&gt;We'll disregard their knocking, beat them off—&lt;br&gt;And they will soon be rabid for a Peace.&lt;br&gt;I'm sure of it.
** [[Aristophanes]], Lysistrata advocating for women to withhold satisfaction from their husbands until men agree to stop killing sons in war, ''[[w:Lysistrata (play)|Lysistrata]]'' (411 BC)

* But I am aware of some that murmur: What, say they, if all men should abstain from all sexual intercourse, whence will the human race exist? Would that all would this, only in &quot;charity out of a pure heart, and good conscience, and faith unfeigned&quot;; much more speedily would the City of God be filled, and the end of the world hastened.
** [[Augustine of Hippo]], ''Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers: First Series, Volume III St. Augustine: On the Holy Trinity, Doctrinal Treatises, Moral Treatises''

==B==

* I think babies cry when they're born because they are born with the knowledge of all the terrible #### that gonna happen to them. That's why I never had kids. Every life is a death sentence. We just forget it later in life, like dreams we lose the second we wake up. Whether we worry about it or not, the shit's still going to fly.
** {{w|Clive Barker}}, ''The Scarlet Gospels'', 2015

* Miss Barnes sees life and the perpetuation of life as a mistake; indeed, the mistake is to be alive, and then by procreation, to compound that error and produce more tragedy and pain.
** James B. Scott, ''Djuna Barnes'', 1976, p. 24
** Description: about Djuna Barnes.

* Because of its emphasis upon human bestiality and the need for mankind not to take the world seriously and to abstain from procreation, the thought of Djuna Barnes, if we wish to label it in any systematic way, would have to be called Saturninian Christian in character.
** Andres Field, ''Djuna, the formidable Miss Barnes'', 1985, p. 170
** Description: about Djuna Barnes.

* Homosexuality seems hardly the issue, for Nightwood neither defends nor condemns it, except in one oblique way. Given that life is suffering, the greatest crime would be procreation, which seems to give homosexuality the edge as a preferred lifestyle, since it promotes the extinction of the human species.
** Phillip F. Herring, ''Djuna: the life and work of Djuna Barnes'', 1995, p. 207
**Description: about Djuna Barnes.

* Astride of a grave and a difficult birth. Down in the hole, lingeringly, the grave-digger puts on the forceps. We have time to grow old. The air is full of our cries.
** [[Samuel Beckett]], Vladimir in ''[[w:Waiting for Godot|Waiting for Godot]]'', 1953

* Birth was the death of him.
** [[Samuel Beckett]], ''{{w|A Piece of Monologue}}'' (1977)

* &quot;No,&quot; he replied, when I asked him if he had ever wanted children, &quot;that's one thing I'm proud of.&quot;
** [[Samuel Beckett]] as interviewed by Lawrence Shainberg, ''Exorcising Beckett'', 1987

* [[Samuel Beckett|Beckett]] ... targets parents as irresponsible criminals although, of course, in life courtesy prevented him from expressing his real feelings. Hamm denounces his parents in ''[[w:Endgame (play)|Endgame]]'' as &quot;accursed progenitors&quot; and Molloy is bitterly unable to forgive his mother for bringing him into the world. In private I knew Beckett to express a passive anger at those who insisted on having families.
** View of [[Samuel Beckett]] described by John Calder in ''The Philosophy of Samuel Beckett'' (2001)

* Creating new people, by having babies, is so much a part of human life that it is rarely thought even to require a justification. Indeed, most people do not even think about whether they should or should not make a baby. They just make one. In other words, procreation is usually the consequence of sex rather than the result of a decision to bring people into existence. Those who do indeed decide to have a child might do so for any number of reasons, but among these reasons cannot be the interests of the potential child. One can never have a child for that child's sake.
** [[David Benatar]], ''Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence'', 2006, p. 2 (introduction) &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0199549269}}&lt;/small&gt;

* It is curious that while good people go to great lengths to spare their children from suffering, few of them seem to notice that the one (and only) guaranteed way to prevent all the suffering of their children is not to bring those children into existence in the first place.
** [[David Benatar]], ''Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence'', 2006, p. 6 (introduction) &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0199549269}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Assuming that each couple has three children, an original pair's cumulative descendants over ten generations amount to 88,572 people. That constitutes a lot of pointless, avoidable suffering. To be sure, full responsibility for it all does not lie with the original couple because each new generation faces the choice of whether to continue that line of descendants. Nevertheless, they bear some responsibility for the generations that ensue. If one does not desist from having children, one can hardly expect one's descendants to do so.
** [[David Benatar]], ''Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence'', 2006, pp. 6–7 (introduction) &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0199549269}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Although, as we have seen, ''nobody'' is lucky enough not to be born, ''everybody'' is ''un''lucky enough to have been born – and particularly bad ''luck'' it is, as I shall now explain. On the quite plausible assumption that one's genetic origin is a necessary (but not sufficient) condition for having come into existence, one could not have been formed by anything other than the particular gametes that produced the zygote from which one developed. This implies, in turn, that one could not have had any genetic parents other than those that one does have. It follows from this that any person's chances of having come into existence are extremely remote. The existence of any one person is dependent not only on that person's parents themselves having come into existence and having met but also on their having conceived that person at the time that they did. Indeed, mere moments might make a difference to which particular sperm is instrumental in a conception. The recognition of how unlikely it was that one would have come into existence, combined with the recognition that coming into existence is always a serious harm, yields the conclusion that one's having come into existence is really bad luck. It is bad enough when one suffers some harm. It is worse still when the chances of having been harmed are very remote.  
** [[David Benatar]], ''Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence'', 2006, p. 7 (introduction) &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0199549269}}&lt;/small&gt;

* The argument that coming into existence is always a harm can be summarized as follows: Both good and bad things happen only to those who exist. However, there is a crucial asymmetry between the good and the bad things. The absence of bad things, such as pain, is good even if there is nobody to enjoy that good, whereas the absence of good things, such as pleasure, is bad only if there is somebody who is deprived of these good things. 
** [[David Benatar]], ''Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence'', 2006, p. 14 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0199549269}}&lt;/small&gt;

* We can regret, for the sake of an indeterminate but existent person that a benefit was not bestowed on him or her, but we cannot regret, for the sake of somebody who never exists and thus cannot thereby be deprived, a good that this never existent person never experiences. One might grieve about not having had children, but not because the children that one could have had have been deprived of existence. Remorse about not having children is remorse for ourselves—sorrow about having missed childbearing and childrearing experiences. However, we do regret having brought into existence a child with an unhappy life, and we regret it for the child’s sake, even if also for our own sakes. The reason why we do not lament our failure to bring somebody into existence is because absent pleasures are not bad.
** [[David Benatar]], ''Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence'', 2006, pp. 34-35. &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0199549269}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Disability rights advocates also correctly note that quality-of-life assessments differ quite markedly between those who have impairments and those who do not. Many of those without impairments tend to think that lives with impairments are not worth starting (and may even not be worth continuing) whereas many of those with impairments tend to think that lives with these impairments are worth starting (and certainly are worth continuing). There certainly does seem to be something self-serving about the dominant view. It conveniently sets the quality threshold for lives worth starting above that of the impaired but below normal human lives. But is there anything less self-serving about those with impairments setting the threshold just beneath the quality of their lives? Disability rights advocates argue that the threshold in most people’s judgements about what constitutes a minimally decent quality of life is set too high. However, the phenomenon of discrepant judgements is equally compatible with the claim that the ordinary threshold is set too low (in order that at least some of us should pass it). The view that it is set too low is exactly the judgement that we can imagine would be made by an extra-terrestrial with a charmed life, devoid of any suffering or hardship. It would look with pity on our species and see the disappointment, anguish, grief, pain, and suffering that marks every human life, and judge our existence, as we (humans without unusual impairments) judge the existence of bedridden quadriplegics, to be worse than the alternative of non-existence.
** [[David Benatar]], ''Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence'' (2006), p 120. &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0199549269}}&lt;/small&gt;

* A few of my critics have claimed that I am committed to the desirability of suicide and even speciecide. They clearly intend this as a ''reductio ad absurdum'' of my position. However, I considered the questions of suicide and speciecide in ''Better Never to Have Been'' and argued that these are not implications of my view. First, it is possible to think that both coming into existence is a serious harm and that death is (usually) a serious harm. Indeed, some people might think that coming into existence is a serious harm in part because the harm of death is then inevitable.
** [[David Benatar]], ''Still Better Never to Have Been: A Reply to (More of) My Critics'', 2013

* To procreate is thus to engage in a kind of Russian roulette, but one in which the &quot;gun&quot; is aimed not at oneself but instead at one's oﬀspring. You trigger a new life and thereby subject that new life to the risk of unspeakable suﬀering. 
** [[David Benatar]], ''Debating Procreation: Is It Wrong To Reproduce?'', 2015

* Another route to anti-natalism is via what I call a &quot;misanthropic&quot; argument. According to this argument humans are a deeply flawed and a destructive species that is responsible for the suffering and deaths of billions of other humans and non-human animals. If that level of destruction were caused by another species we would rapidly recommend that new members of that species not be brought into existence.
** [[David Benatar]], [http://www.philosophy.uct.ac.za/sites/default/files/image_tool/images/160/We%20Are%20Creatures%20That%20Should%20Not%20Exist%20The%20Theory%20of%20Anti-Natalism%20%28The%20Critique%2015%20July%202015%29.pdf ''&quot;We Are Creatures That Should Not Exist&quot;: The Theory of Anti-Natalism''], 2015

* Our species is prone to a flattering view of itself. Humans have regarded themselves as the pinnacle of creation, formed by and in the image of an omnibenevolent, omniscient, and omnipotent God, and inhabiting a planet at the center of the universe—a planet around which all others revolve. Science has done much to debunk some of these ideas. We now know that our planet is not at the center of the universe: the earth revolves around the sun rather than vice versa. And we know—or at least some of us do—that we are Johnny-come-lately products of a long, blind evolutionary process.
** [[David Benatar]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=J6dBCgAAQBAJ&amp;lpg=PA44&amp;pg=PA35#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false The Misanthropic Argument for Anti-natalism]'' (2015), p. 35-36

* Humans may exceed other animals in their sapient capacities, but we also surpass other species on our destructiveness. Many animals cause harm, but we are the most lethal species ever to have inhabited our planet. It is revealing that we do not refer to ''this'' superlative property in identifying ourselves. There is ample evidence that we are ''Homo pernicious'' – the dangerous, destructive human. 
** [[David Benatar]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=J6dBCgAAQBAJ&amp;newbks=0&amp;lpg=PA58&amp;pg=PA38 The Misanthropic Argument for Anti-natalism]'', p. 38

* Humans inflict untold suffering and death on many billions of animals every year, and the overwhelming majority of humans are heavily complicit. 
** [[David Benatar]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=J6dBCgAAQBAJ&amp;newbks=0&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA43#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false The Misanthropic Argument for Anti-natalism]'', p. 43

* Some of the harm that humans cause to other humans and to animals is mediated by the destructive effect that humans have on the environment. For much of human history, the damage was local. Groups of humans fouled their immediate environment. In recent centuries the human impact has increased exponentially and the threat is now to the global environment. The increased threat is a product of two interacting factors–the exponential growth of the human population combined with significant increases in negative effects per capita. The latter is the result of industrialization and increased consumption. 
** [[David Benatar]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=J6dBCgAAQBAJ&amp;lpg=PA44&amp;pg=PA48#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false The Misanthropic Argument for Anti-natalism]'', p. 48

*Certainly in the case of the treatment of animals, the scales are heavily weighted against us. Although it is true that some humans do some good for animals, much of this is merely rescuing animals from the maltreatment of other humans. At the level of the human species such benefits cannot be used to offset the harms. If there were no humans to inflict the harms, these benefits would not be necessary. Of course, humans do bestow some other benefits, such as veterinary care for their companion animals. However, the number of animals affected and the amount of good done is massively outweighed by the harm the human species does to non-human animals. 
** [[David Benatar]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=J6dBCgAAQBAJ&amp;newbks=0&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA52#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false The Misanthropic Argument for Anti-natalism]'', 2015, p. 52

* Humanity is a moral disaster. There would have been much less destruction had we never evolved. The fewer humans there are in the future, the less destruction there will still be. 
** [[David Benatar]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=J6dBCgAAQBAJ&amp;lpg=PA44&amp;pg=PA55#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false The Misanthropic Argument for Anti-natalism]'', 2015, p. 55

* Few prospective procreators consider the asthetic impact of their potential children. But how many more producers of excrement and urine, flatulence, menstrual blood and semen, sweat, mucus, vomit, and pus do we really need? How much more human waste do we need to process? How many more corpses do we need to dispose of? It would be an aesthetic improvement if there were fewer people.
** [[David Benatar]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=J6dBCgAAQBAJ&amp;newbks=0&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA58 The Misanthropic Argument for Anti-natalism]'', 2015, p. 58

* The question of whether or not to be is a consequence and a derivative of the human issue, whether to procreate or not, is strange that literature rarely puts it down, that he is underestimating her, silently assuming that the resolution is the same intellectual obviousness as the obviousness of the practice of life.
** Henryk Bereza, ''Bieg rzeczy'', 1982

* Even at the risk of being thought mad, we must not be afraid to say that our parents, like theirs before them, were guilty of the crime of procreation, which means the crime of creating unhappiness, of conspiring with others to increase the unhappiness of an increasingly unhappy world.
** {{w|Thomas Bernhard}}, ''Gathering Evidence: A Memoir'', 1985

* To beget, because one wants no longer to be alone, another aloneness; this is criminal.
** {{w|Thomas Bernhard}}, Maler Strauch in ''Frost'', 1963

* Every night and every morn&lt;br /&gt;Some to misery are born;&lt;br /&gt;Every morn and every night&lt;br /&gt;Some are born to sweet delight;&lt;br /&gt;Some are born to sweet delight,&lt;br /&gt;Some are born to endless night.
* [[William Blake]], &quot;[[wikisource:Life_of_William_Blake_(1880),_Volume_2/Ideas_of_good_and_evil#107|Auguries of Innocence]]&quot; (1880)

* Everyone who's been born is subject to the dictate of birth. A creator, be it &quot;God&quot; or the parents, &quot;bestow&quot; life: without regard for the presentee's inability to accept, or for that he'd be no less poor without this &quot;gift&quot; and that the presentees didn't exist as they received the gift, and thus had no chance to refuse or reject it. The creation of a new creature is indisputably an act of caprice, since the creation leads to a forced deportation of the creature into life or, to stick to Heidegger's words, the creature is &quot;thrown&quot; into life. But for that matter, rather than getting thrown into life, the creature is forced to enter life, it is dragged, innocently condemned to live. As such every life starts with a violation of the newborn's will. This tragedy with comedic qualities is described by Leo Tolstoy in a benign way, when he says: &quot;my life is a stupid and spiteful joke someone has played on me&quot;.
** Gunter Bleibohm, ''Fluch der Geburt – Thesen einer Überlebensethik'', 2011
** Description: the quote by [[Leo Tolstoy]] refers to the work [[wikisource:A_Confession_(Maudes_translation)/IV|''A Confession'']].

* In the Council of 1211 against the Bogomils, those among them were anathematized who held that &quot;woman conceives in her womb by the cooperation of Satan, that Satan abides there upon conception without withdrawing hence until the birth of the child&quot;. I dare not suppose that the Devil can be concerned with us to the point of keeping us company for so many months, but I cannot doubt that we have been conceived under his eyes and that he actually attended our beloved begetters.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The New Gods'', 1969

* For thirteen hundred years there were major movements within the Church, or in competition with it, which taught that procreation was evil: Gnosticism, Manicheanism, Priscillianism, Bogomilism, Catharism.
** {{w|Richard D. Schwartz}}, Jerome H. Skolnick, ''Society and the legal order: cases and materials in the sociology of law'', 1970

* However, one heretical doctrine mentioned by Theophylact is of a non-Paulician origin: the heretics, he writes, reject lawful marriage and maintain that the reproduction of the human species is a law of the demon. This exaggerated and distorted asceticism, essentially characteristic of Bogomilism, is a logical consequence of metaphysical dualism, according to which Matter, the product of the Evil Principle, is a source of limitation and suffering for the divinely created soul; hence marriage, as the means of reproduction of Matter, is to be condemned and avoided.
** {{w|Dimitri Obolensky}}, ''The Bogomils: A Study in Balkan Neo-Manichaeism'', 2004

* Is there any doubt that the creation was an act of great violence by God our Father against our Mother the abyss? He made the heavens and the earth and in their image we created our world: every victim of a racial lynching, every target of gendered violence, every abject creature crushed under the weight of imperialist oppression is both the prey of children reenacting the cruelty of their Father and a sacrifice to Him, that He might prevail in keeping the night away from the cold harshness of His day. But, despite all the angels of Heaven and all the devils of Hell, we can still hear in the heart of this miserable existence the whispering echoes of Her voice calling us once again to the emptiness and the silence: let us pray, then, that every palace will crumble and every throne will break, and that the sun will grow dim and the moon turn black and the stars fall from the sky. There are no male gods worth our worship; there are no white gods worth our worship; Satan with his promise of strength and fortune and the old gods with their fallen grandeur were nothing but His other faces, and the serpent and the Promethean Lucifer only actors doing His bidding. Let us praise weakness, not strength; confusion, not security; sorrow, not triumph; darkness, not esoteric light; let our hearts belong only to the undoing of the wretched totality of His work and our every yearning to the void, that She might rise again in all of Her sorrow and loss to drown this world in the depth of her tears.
** Book of Sand, ''Occult Anarchist Propaganda'', 2016

* The alive is knocking to the world&lt;br /&gt;I am its gate of the world. I body&lt;br /&gt;It hammers&lt;br /&gt;It hits by head&lt;br /&gt;The ivory gate is trembling&lt;br /&gt;The gate is maintained. It does not open&lt;br /&gt;Maybe it should leave&lt;br /&gt;Restrain&lt;br /&gt;Understand the sign&lt;br /&gt;Warning&lt;br /&gt;Maybe there is no need&lt;br /&gt;Maybe it is not worth it&lt;br /&gt;Nothing can be stopped&lt;br /&gt;The body is ruled by force&lt;br /&gt;It shrinks, stretches&lt;br /&gt;It twists, shakes, distend&lt;br /&gt;The alive tries to tear the body apart&lt;br /&gt;It explodes from the inside&lt;br /&gt;I am the surrounding body&lt;br /&gt;The gate of the world&lt;br /&gt;I am what it wants to tear&lt;br /&gt;The curved gate can not withstand pressure&lt;br /&gt;It opens, opens slightly&lt;br /&gt;Rim slide apart&lt;br /&gt;Not enough to let the alive leave&lt;br /&gt;But enough to make it feel the streak of the world&lt;br /&gt;Let it know&lt;br /&gt;Let it look through the crack&lt;br /&gt;While there is still time&lt;br /&gt;The time has come&lt;br /&gt;The alive rolls in a soft canal&lt;br /&gt;In the mucus and blood&lt;br /&gt;It drinks the mucus of initiation&lt;br /&gt;I am its slippery path&lt;br /&gt;The bloody path of the world&lt;br /&gt;It understood&lt;br /&gt;It goes back&lt;br /&gt;Draw air! Push! Harder! Not on&lt;br /&gt;belly! Push towards the anus! Like towards poop. Draw air! Push towards down! This is not pushing! Even the sphincter does not become bulgy. Hard, push harder! Harder! More harder! Do not push! Do not push! Do not push, I say! Pant like a dog!&lt;br /&gt;The alive turns its head.&lt;br /&gt;Li, li, li, li, laj,&lt;br /&gt;Blue Heir.
** Jolanta Brach-Czaina, ''Szczeliny istnienia'', 1992, pp. 45–46

* Description: one of the most well-known Polish carols has the words: &quot;Li, li, li, li, laj, Blue Heir&quot;, it is lullaby sung to Jesus.
* The formula of childbirth is: let the current state of affairs continue. Unbelievable message. &quot;Forget about suffering, stop rebelling.&quot; This means acceptance of everything that happens, suggests that existence has an indisputable value. It also turns out that existence is not as independent of our will as we might think, but we are the ones who make the final gesture of consent. And therefore, we are responsible. 
** Jolanta Brach-Czaina, ''Szczeliny istnienia'', 1992, p. 48

* The philosophy of the act of birth is antisocial, because it suggests that the world does not require improvement, and all the difficulty is that it must be accepted. It is also amoral, because it requires that we accept ourselves. It removes the alleged guilt and prevents accusations. It does not even try to climb the scaffolding of decent moral principles, nor does it try to design social justice. These projects are too sophisticated, too distant to be read from the crotch. The lack of moral subtlety does not, however, cut the path of metaphysical consequences.
** Jolanta Brach-Czaina, ''Szczeliny istnienia'', 1992, p. 50

* Whoever gives birth makes a sacrifice to a wild god who is life.
** Jolanta Brach-Czaina, ''Szczeliny istnienia'', 1992, p. 54

* Bringing a child into the world without its consent seems unethical. Leaving the womb just seems insane. The womb is nirvana. It's tripping in an eternal orb outside the space-time continuum. It's a warm, wet rave at the center of the earth, but you're the only raver. There's no weird New Age guide. There's no shitty techno. There's only you and the infinite.
**{{w|Melissa Broder}}, ''So Sad Today: Personal Essays'', 2016

* Procreation is something impossible for me. I would never forgive myself for putting someone on death row.
** {{w|Elisa Brune}}, ''La mort dans l'âme: tango avec Cioran'', 2011

* Nanda, I do not extol the production of a new existence even a little bit; nor do I extol the production of a new existence for even a moment.
** [[Gautama Buddha]], [https://centreforjournalism.co.uk/content/philosophical-review-trigger-warning-%E2%80%93-better-not-have-been-born-philosophical-investigation ''Garbhavakranti Sutra'']

* Do not use violence against any creature, do not bother any of them, and do not want a child. Leaving alone and being kind. Be alone like a rhino horn.
** [[Gautama Buddha]], [https://uranaka-shobou.com/suttanipata ''Sutta Nipata'']

* Setting at Savatthi. Then, in the morning, the bhikkhuni Cala dressed... she sat down at the foot of a tree for the day's abiding. Then Mara the Evil One approached the bhikkhuni Cala and said to her: &quot;What don't you approve of, bhikkhuni?&quot; Cala: &quot;I don't approve of birth, friend.&quot; Mara: &quot;Why don't you approve of birth? Once born, one enjoys sensual pleasures. Who now has persuaded you of this: Bhikkhuni, don't approve of birth'?&quot; Cala: &quot;For one who is born there is death; Once born, one encounters sufferings — Bondage, murder, affliction — Hence one shouldn't approve of birth. The Buddha has taught the Dhamma, The transcendence of birth; For the abandoning of all suffering He has settled me in the truth. As to those beings who fare amidst form, And those who abide in the formless — Not having understood cessation, They come again to re-becoming.&quot; Then Mara the Evil One, realizing, &quot;The bhikkhuni Cala knows me,&quot; sad and disappointed, disappeared right there.
** [https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn05/sn05.006.bodh.html ''Cala Sutta''], ''[[Saṃyutta Nikāya]]''

* Buddha states his propositions in the pedantic style of his age. He throws them into a form of sorites; but, as such, it is logically faulty and all he wishes to convey is this: Oblivious of the suffering to which life is subject, man begets children, and is thus the cause of old age and death. If he would only realize what suffering he would add to by his act, he would desist from the procreation of children; and so stop the operation of old age and death.
** {{w|Hari Singh Gour}}, ''The Spirit of Buddhism'', 1929

* In the medieval Tantric traditions of India and Tibet documented by David Gray and Janet Gyatso, insertive but non-ejaculative sex is theorized as a fast path to liberating realizations, one deemed superior to celibacy for qualified practitioners (Gray 2007; Gyatso 1998). These developments also support the idea that the sex problematic in ancient, classical, and medieval Buddhism had at least as much to do with female fertility and the production of children as with the dangers of errant desire.
** Amy Paris Langenberg, ''Buddhist antinatalism'', 2018

* Maybe rebirth is simply HAVING KIDS. 
** [[Jack Kerouac]], ''Selected letters, 1957-1969, volume 2'', 1999
** Description: about [[buddhism]].

* They were good Buddhists, and every good Buddhist knows that begetting is merely postponed assassination. Do your best to get off the Wheel of Birth and Death, and for heaven's sake don't go about putting superfluous victims onto the Wheel.
** [[Aldous Huxley]], ''Island'', 1962
** Description: the words of the character, Ranga.

* We do not rush toward death, we flee the catastrophe of birth, survivors struggling to forget it. Fear of death is merely the projection into the future of a fear which dates back to our first moment of life. We are reluctant, of course, to treat birth as a scourge: has it not been inculcated as the sovereign good—have we not been told that the worst came at the end, not at the outset of our lives? Yet evil, the real evil, is behind, not ahead of us. What escaped Jesus did not escape Buddha: &quot;If three things did not exist in the world, O disciples, the Perfect One would not appear in the world...&quot; And ahead of old age and death he places the fact of birth, source of every infirmity, every disaster. 
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* In Buddhist writings, mention is often made of &quot;the abyss of birth&quot;. An abyss indeed, a gulf into which we do not fall but from which, instead, we emerge, to our universal chagrin.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* If you're afraid of illnesses, if you are afraid of death, then you should contemplate where they com from? Where do they come from? They arise from birth. So don't be sad when someone dies, it's just nature, and his suffering in this life is over. If you want to be sad, be sad when people are born: Oh. No, they've come again. They're going to suffer and die again!
** {{w|Ajahn Chah}}, [https://www.ajahnchah.org/pdf/no_ajahn_chah.pdf ''No Ajahn Chah: Reflections''], 1994

* Our birth and death are just one thing. You can't have one without the other. It's a little funny to see how at a death people are so tearful and sad, and at a birth how happy and delighted. It's delusion. I think if you really want to cry. Then it would be better to do so when someone born. Cry at the root, for if there were no birth, there would be no death. Can you understand this?
** {{w|Ajahn Chah}}, [https://www.ajahnchah.org/pdf/no_ajahn_chah.pdf ''No Ajahn Chah: Reflections''], 1994

* Buddhism – the ultimate attempt to put an end to birth. This is what nirvana is. &quot;There will be no more birth&quot;, would say the angel of the Buddhist Apocalypse.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Cahiers 1957-1972'', 1997

* A young monk had fallen deeply in love with a beautiful damsel. He abandoned the temple in which he lived and went to the village with the intention of declaring his love to her. Since it was already dark by the time he arrived, he checked in an inn and went to rest. That night he dreamt he had married her. He entered her chamber, made love to her... after some time they had twins. When they were thirteen years old, one of them fell into the river and drowned. The father, seized by grief, endlessly cried... and that's how he woke up, filled with tears. By morning, he retraced his steps, and headed back once more to his temple.
** [[Taisen Deshimaru]], ''Historias Zen'', 1990

* Nanda, I do not extol the production of a new existence even a little bit; nor do I extol the production of a new existence for even a moment. Why? The production of a new existence is suffering. For example, even a little [bit of ] vomit stinks. In the same way, Nanda, the production of a new existence, even a little bit, even for a moment, is suffering. Therefore, Nanda, whatever comprises birth, [namely] the arising of matter, its subsistence, its growth, and its emergence, the arising, subsistence, growth, and emergence of feeling, conceptualization, conditioning forces, and consciousness, [all that] is suffering. Subsistence is illness. Growth is old age and death. Therefore, Nanda, what contentment is there for one who is in the mother's womb wishing for existence?
**[[Gautama Buddha]], ''Garbhāvakrāntisūtra: The Sūtra on Entry Into the Womb'', the oldest version of the sutra that survived is a Chinese translation by Dharmarakṣa from 281 or 303

* Cioran is right. A truly honest and responsible man would prefer not to be born.
** Valeriu Butulescu, ''Noroi aurifer'' 

* To give birth to those&lt;br /&gt;Who can but suffer many years, and die,&lt;br /&gt;Methinks is merely propagating death,&lt;br /&gt;And multiplying murder.
** [[Lord Byron]], ''Cain'', 1821
** Description: the words of the character, Cain

==C==

* Given the contingency of our birth, all pain is unnecessary. The unnecessary pain is unbearable. ''Ergo'', having been born is unbearable. In this sense, procreation is immoral. Procreation carries moral weight; it is a problematic action. It is not, as affirmative ethics usually think, a pure fact, innocent and unsuspicious. Affirmative ethics are willing to sustain the immorality of the totality of the world solely and exclusively to save the morality of its origin. Negative ethics suggests the opposite: the rescue of the morality of the world after the discovery of the immorality of its origin (and the very problem of theodicies inverts: how is the innocence of the world compatible with divine evilness?).
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/project-of-negative-ethics/ ''Projeto de Ética Negativa''], 1989, p. 21

* Suffering is something that is, purely and simply, connected to &quot;being.&quot; Something cannot be &quot;put into operation&quot; without pain. Thus, pain is not a curse, nor a punishment, nor an anomaly, nor a maladjustment, nor a deviation, but the ''conditio sine qua non'' of being. Being is a condition of necessary suffering. Affirmative ethics, insofar as they respect the value of coherence, should not proclaim the elimination of pain as their concern.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/project-of-negative-ethics/ ''Projeto de Ética Negativa''], 1989, p. 22

* Diseases usually appear to us as something unexpected, due to the so called &quot;default&quot; state of good health. The difficulty of measuring health is in the fact that the majority of existing indicators are negative, that is, they serve to measure the absence of health. Good health, contrarily, can be seen as an accidental anomaly, not as an intrinsic attribute, and even less, as a &quot;right&quot; of humans. In the face of a disease, what we habitually call &quot;life&quot; is an effort to survive, &quot;to resist,&quot; &quot;to maintain oneself,&quot; &quot;to persist,&quot; &quot;to endure,&quot; &quot;to persevere.&quot; The fundamental ethical issue consists in that, as potential creators of another human being's life, we cannot make predictions about the mechanisms of survival of the possible being, their vulnerability to the structural pain. We have no moral right in making a standardized prediction about this vulnerability. The sinister happiness (sinister and superficial) with which our society welcomes pregnancy and birth, must necessarily confront its own ethical categories, if we are profound in our reflection.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/project-of-negative-ethics/ ''Projeto de Ética Negativa''], 1989, p. 22–23

* Our social organization uncritically ensures the morality of parenthood, and procreation is presented as a naturally positive value. By contrast, any problematization of these values will be seen as demoniac. But the reflective situation is perfectly clear: either we abandon the value of &quot;avoidance of unnecessary pain,&quot; or we problematize the uncritical morality of procreation. If the moral reflection is to be rational, to search for the truth, etc., it has to face this alternative.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/project-of-negative-ethics/ ''Projeto de Ética Negativa''], 1989, p. 28

* If freedom, according to traditional morality itself, is a fundamental ethical value, the very basis of ethics, one must be aware that the creation of a child may be the first huge disrespect of the freedom of the human person. The issue of freedom suffers here from the same problem as the issue of pain: it is a matter of ethical value that the traditional affirmative ethics is unable to radicalize.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/project-of-negative-ethics/ ''Projeto de Ética Negativa''], 1989, p. 28

* Killing someone and giving birth to someone are two violent actions through which, magically, man tries to put himself in God's place. The victim of a homicide is always helpless, but never as helpless as the victim of a birth. Childbirth spills as much innocent blood as a homicide. If procreation is a free choice, then life is fundamentally unnecessary pain.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/project-of-negative-ethics/ ''Projeto de Ética Negativa''], 1989, back cover

* In the light of natural ontology, it is not correct the argument that we do not know anything about our possible offsprings, for example, about the capacity they will have to overcome structural pain; because even we do not know, for example, whether they will enjoy traveling, working or studying classical languages, we do know they will be indigent, decadent, vacating beings who will start dying since birth, who will face and be characterized by systematic dysfunctions, who will have to constitute their own beings as beings-against-the-others – in the sense of dealing with aggressiveness and having to discharge it over others – who will lose those they love and be lost by those who love them, and time will take everything they manage to build.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [http://repositorio.unb.br/bitstream/10482/17430/3/Livro_CritiqueAffirmativeMorality.pdf ''A critique of affirmative morality (A reflection on death, birth and the value of life)''], 1996, p. 54

* We undoubtedly would not morally justify the behavior of someone who sent a colleague to a dangerous situation by saying: &quot;I sent him there because I know he is strong and he will manage well&quot;. The &quot;strengths&quot; of the newborn do not relieve in anything the moral responsibility of the procreator. Anyone would answer: &quot;This is irrelevant. Your role in the matter consisted of sending people to a situation you know was difficult and painful and you could avoid it. Your predictions about their reacting manners do not decrease in anything your responsibility&quot;. In the case of procreation, the reasoning could be the same, and in a notorious emphatic way, since in any intra-worldly situation with already existing people in which we send someone to a position known as painful, the other one could always run away from pain to the extent his being is already in the world and he could predict danger and try to avoid being exposed to a disregarding and manipulative maneuver. In the case of the one who is being born, by contrast, this is not possible at all because it is precisely his very being that is being manufactured and used. Concerning birth, therefore, manipulation seems to be total.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [http://repositorio.unb.br/bitstream/10482/17430/3/Livro_CritiqueAffirmativeMorality.pdf ''A critique of affirmative morality (A reflection on death, birth and the value of life)''], 1996, p. 54–55

* Thus, whoever has said to procreate for love, as others kill for hate, might have said a truth, but, no doubt, this person has not given any moral justification for procreation. Saying you have had a child &quot;for love&quot; is a manner of saying you have had him or her compulsively, according to the wild rhythms of life. In a similar way, we might intensely love our parents and, at the same time, consider fatherhood ethically-rationally problematic, and visualize we have been manipulated by them. I may continue to love after having detected immorality, there is nothing contradictory on that. Neither would morally justify a homicide saying we have done it for hate, nor a suicide saying we have done it &quot;for hate against ourselves&quot;. Something can continue to be ethically problematic even when guided by love.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [http://repositorio.unb.br/bitstream/10482/17430/3/Livro_CritiqueAffirmativeMorality.pdf ''A critique of affirmative morality (A reflection on death, birth and the value of life)''], 1996, p. 59

* People proclaim that &quot;the experience of parenthood is extraordinary&quot; and recommend it to all (and denigrate those who have not gone through it). But we can wonder: &quot;Extraordinary for whom?&quot; It is certainly extraordinary for the parents. When they say that not only they will be happy and satisfied with the experience but also their children, they do not realize the immense asymmetry and mismatch between these two experiences, the experience of creating and of being created. The created child is compelled to accept the experience, to make it good and interesting (and even extraordinary); what other option would they have? This obligation is not present in the parents, where the &quot;extraordinary&quot; nature of the experience is part of an engaging and unilateral project. The situations of both parties are not comparable. Thus, when some reply: &quot;There is no sense in you wanting to show that life is bad; you cannot decide for your child; maybe they will like to live,&quot; what does that mean? Of course, in a sense, they are compelled to like life! But this &quot;liking&quot; will always be a desperate acceptance. The created child is not in a position of really liking life. They could like it if they had really chosen to come into being. Faced with the fait accompli, they are forced to cling desperately to life. Either they &quot;like it&quot; or they will be destroyed (by a mental illness, or by the hostility of others).
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/09/28/first-chapter-of-because-i-love-you-you-will-not-be-born/ ''Porque te amo, não nascerás! Nascituri te salutant''], 2009, pp. 25–26

* Would a genuinely rational agent choose to be born? My argument against R. M. Hare can be reread in the &quot;Critique of Affirmative Morality&quot;. . . . There I suggest that in the experiment where the non-being is magically consulted about their possible birth, Hare is mistaken in assuming uncritically that &quot;they&quot; would undoubtedly choose to be born. (This is the usual affirmative trend.) Let us suppose that we are talking about a human being, that is, a rational creature capable of pondering reasons. The information that is given to this possible being in Hare's experiment is incomplete and biased. We should also tell them that if they are born, they will have no guarantee of being born without problems; that if they manage to be born without problems, they will almost surely suffer from many intra-worldly evils; that if they manage to avoid them (and this is possible in the intra-world, even if difficult), we cannot give them any guarantee about the length of their life nor about the kind of death they will have, and they will also have to suffer the death of those they come to love and their death will be suffered by those who love them (if they are lucky enough to love someone and to be loved by someone, which is also not guaranteed). They must be told that if they manage to avoid a violent accidental death, they will decay in a few years (just as the people they love and care about), and that they have a high chance of becoming a terminally ill patient who could suffer terribly until the time of their demise. If it is still possible for the non-being, after having assimilated all this information, to choose to be born, could we not harbor well-founded doubts about their quality as a &quot;rational agent&quot;?
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/09/28/first-chapter-of-because-i-love-you-you-will-not-be-born/ ''Porque te amo, não nascerás! Nascituri te salutant''], 2009, pp. 70–71

* Philosophers have always spoken of life as a &quot;preparation for death,&quot; and of philosophy as a &quot;learning to die.&quot; But there is a wisdom prior to that: learning to abstain; not putting anyone in the situation of having to learn to die. 
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/09/28/first-chapter-of-because-i-love-you-you-will-not-be-born/ ''Porque te amo, não nascerás! Nascituri te salutant''], 2009, p. 79

* MV says that the rejection of life appears in later states, but that at the time of birth, and already before, everything is acceptance of life. But, is this so?? What can be said of the outcry with which children are born, of the primordial cry, of the first traumatic contact (studied by Freud) with the world? Is the child's outcry not already his first philosophical opinion about the world? Why is he not born laughing, or at least calm? When the baby is dumped into the world at the time of childbirth, his first reaction is pessimistic, a protest against disregard and disturbance, an initial outcry that he did not have to learn, as he will have to learn to laugh in the first few weeks or even months of life (which already marks, in the very inaugural act of being, the pessimistic asymmetry: the baby learns to laugh, but is born crying); the baby is born, forced by the desires of others, in an initial desperation, in a cry of deep and abysmal helplessness, in a primordial terror that, immediately, through movements, caresses, comforts, etc., adults will try to soften; movements that will be repeated throughout his life: initial despair followed by protective comforts; but the comforts are posterior to the despair; the despair comes first, and the comforts are the reactions. They are not on the same level. Asymmetry!
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2018/04/29/about-the-intellectual-and-existential-superiority-of-pessimism-over-optimism-reply-to-marcus-valerio/ ''Acerca da superioridade intelectual e existencial do pessimismo sobre o otimismo (replica a Marcus Valério)''], 2010, pp. 24–25

* The parent knows perfectly well that they are giving a product of dubious quality only for their own accomplishment and happiness; in admitting that the person may want to return it, they themselves fully understand the dubious nature of the gift. 
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2018/04/29/about-the-intellectual-and-existential-superiority-of-pessimism-over-optimism-reply-to-marcus-valerio/ ''Acerca da superioridade intelectual e existencial do pessimismo sobre o otimismo (replica a Marcus Valério)''], 2010, p. 28
** Description: about procreation and suicide.

* Regretting having to die should be structurally identical to regretting being born, because it is not in our power being born in a non-mortal way.  
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [http://philosopherjuliocabrera.blogspot.com/2011/05/negative-ethics.html ''Between two deaths: from born death to dead death''], 2011 

* The best would have been not to be born. Not being born is, in a negative ethics, the absolute good; but it is, precisely, the good that cannot be sought. (Attention: the situation is more radical than in the case of goods that can be sought but never achieved; not being born cannot even be sought).
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8lRhEwzaxOlckVlNG1RVjNPdHc/view ''Summary of the ethical question in Julio Cabrera's Philosophy''], 2014, p. 8

* People talk about the &quot;wonderful experience of parenthood&quot;. Have you ever wondered why it is so wonderful? It may be wonderful because it is very manipulative; manipulating gives a lot of pleasure, because you have a person in your hands. When the child is small you wear it as you want, comb as you want, cut the hair, put on the table, as I have frequently seen it. The adults play with the child, people who would have no subject of conversation or interaction, when their empty, insignificant gray lives would come to light, the child saves them.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6DiB3OtFu4 ''Birth as a bioethical problem: first steps towards a radical bioethics''], 2018, 44:38–45:22 min.

* The moral tradition says: we have many natural tendencies, but as ethical human beings we have to try to overcome natural impulses. For example, we are naturally violent; human beings are naturally very selfish, trying to focus their decisions on themselves, but ethics is always saying: you have to fight against these natural tendencies. You cannot be all the violent that nature commands, you cannot be everything selfish that nature asks for. So if you tell me that procreation is natural, being natural does not show it to be moral. On the contrary, forgotten Brazilian philosophers like Tobias Barreto put exactly the opposite. Tobias Barreto thought that when something is natural it is bad, and we have to fight it. (The enslavement of one people over others is natural, but it is cultural that slavery must not exist.) So do not tell me that procreation is natural and so we have to do it. All human morality is unnatural; all human morality is artificial, just as our feeding systems in our sophisticated restaurants are also artificial and unnatural. What is the animal that eats the way we eat? Even our sexuality is artificial; it is not purely instinctual, but largely symbolic. If you had that argument in your sleeve, you would still have to show that what comes from nature is moral, because there are many arguments showing that what comes from nature can be opposite of morality.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6DiB3OtFu4 ''Birth as a bioethical problem: first steps towards a radical bioethics''], 2018, 47:49–49:30 min.

* Of course, the possibility of the newborn not having the strength to endure the life struggle is just a possibility, not a necessity. However, the point is that its mere possibility is enough for moral imputation. There are no strong causal relations between methods of education and raising of children to shape their destinies in life. As they say, a child is &quot;a lottery&quot;. The precautions that progenitors take to avoid certain risks for their children could be precisely the ones that expose them to greater danger. The many human lives that end catastrophically seem to illustrate the very high price to be paid in an attempt to ethically justify the &quot;gamble&quot; of procreation, even if made in the most serious way by the sensitive procreator. However, it is important that even when none of these catastrophes occurs, the success of the newborn in life does not exempt the progenitors from the moral responsibility of having put him at risk of falling victim to one of these calamities. Moreover, even for the child who has &quot;won&quot; the gamble, his &quot;success&quot; will remain forever and indefinitely connected to the unilateral nature of the procreative act. The gamble will have been won, but this will never be the child's own bet. The newborn may get lucky and &quot;win the gamble&quot;, but he was never in a position to refuse to enter into the competition.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Discomfort and Moral Impediment: The Human Situation, Radical Bioethics and Procreation'', 2018, p. 151

* All of the inescapable and tyrannical bodily necessities are already presented to the baby in the form of new cries and sufferings. Progenitors will become increasingly conscious of this and they will keep saying: “He’s crying; maybe he’s hungry”; “He’s crying; maybe he's cold”; “He’s crying; maybe he’s tired”, without ever arriving at the ominous “He’s crying because he was born”.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Discomfort and Moral Impediment: The Human Situation, Radical Bioethics and Procreation'', 2018, pp. 162-163

* Small children continue crying for many years; they cry and cry. This is a very usual spectacle that we constantly observe in the streets, children crying incessantly, most of the time met with a wall of indifference from adults, or else with laughter or impatience. Crying children often bother us, but we have to make a philosophical effort to understand that, from an ethical point of view, they are perfectly right, they have the right to cry. Moved by their tears, we have to accept their vindication, even if cries are strident and bothersome; we must learn to see children’s crying as ethical responses or instinctive political facts, as a perfectly fair and understandable reaction to what was done to them. Children’s tears must provoke our most profound respect, because they come from the depths of their structural helplessness, of their being made by force.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Discomfort and Moral Impediment: The Human Situation, Radical Bioethics and Procreation'', 2018, p. 163

* Some children go on crying until they are quite old, later finding other forms of protest. A small child is a hive of explosive and irresistible needs, aspirations and desires. There is nothing a child says more than: “I want, I want, I want”. Children are constantly torn by desires they are now forced to manage in order to endure the life that was asymmetrically imposed on them, and to which they are compelled to live. The progenitors will deny their children most of what their offspring believe they must have, by telling them that the world does not revolve around their wants, ironically as these same parents endowed their children with bodies full of insatiable desires. Children constantly fall prey to their desires, especially under the multiple forms of painful expectations, discouragements and boredom, which require their parents to shield their offspring from the mortal danger of the being given at birth. This is, of course, the role of toys and of the entire paraphernalia of objects that parents are now compelled to put between their small children and the terminal being they have imposed on them. In the streets and in shopping malls, we see small children crying loudly, asking for this or that, being dragged away by irritated, placid or excessively attentive parents, or indifferent ones, who have neither the sensibility nor the patience to attend to their children’s complaints, unhearing and absentminded, as if the small ones’ demands were irrelevant and did not deserve attention. One may say that a few minutes later the child will be smiling or laughing again; but note that this happens just for a while when he finds some type of distraction, something that diverts his attention for a short period of time.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Discomfort and Moral Impediment: The Human Situation, Radical Bioethics and Procreation'', 2018, p. 163

* When someone (including philosophers) defends the alleged beauty of &quot;having children&quot;, they refer to the pleasure of &quot;seeing them grow up&quot;: first as children, then adolescents, then graduated and independent adults (this happens not only in wealthy classes but also, in part, in more modest ones). However, it is strange that, when they speak about children, they inexplicably stop at this point and never refer to their decline, their aging, or their decay; perhaps because they think they will not be there to contemplate this decline. The parents prefer not to see the end of this process, as if the child vanished into thin air. The residual aspect of parenthood is omitted; only the flourishing aspects of the child are visualized. The death of the child-residue is denied any visibility. The consummation of the processes is concealed as something dirty and indecent, not worthy to be shown.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Mal-Estar e Moralidade: Situação Humana, Ética e Procriação Responsável'', 2018, p. 306

* It is very curious that it is sometimes considered cruel or inhumane to raise the issue of the ethics of procreation, as if this showed a rejection of the unborn children, a kind of hatred for their lives. This is a total deformation of the intentions of an ethical reflection on procreation. On the contrary, this reflection is motivated by a deep concern for the possible children, due to the risk of their emergence being the consequence of a thoughtless, constraining and aggressive act towards small defenseless beings, on whom one thinks to have full right to plan everything about their lives to our full desire and satisfaction. A great part of the revolt that awakens in the adult world due to the simple mention of this issue indicates that the parents obtain a great pleasure in the procreative act, and react – sometimes angrily – against those who question this powerful source of pleasure, and consequently the immense power over the one who is going to be born. This total power over another life is intensely seductive and no one wants to give it up. But in the ethical reflection, whatever the subject matter is, it is never an issue of evaluating only the satisfaction we get from our actions, but of pondering whether what we do is right or not, whether the power we can accumulate over more defenseless beings is or is not ethically justified.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Mal-Estar e Moralidade: Situação Humana, Ética e Procriação Responsável'', 2018, p. 463

* What is most curious is that humans of poorer classes are usually the ones who cultivate an unlimited adoration for their mother for having raised them with so many sacrifices. They suffer all kinds of misery, extreme poverty, disease, delinquency, discrimination, exclusion and torture, never realizing that it was their parents who put them in that situation for their own pleasure or due to irresponsible carelessness. And when the child commits some harmful act driven by the despair in which they were placed, people still sympathize with the &quot;poor mother&quot; for having a child that is &quot;so ungrateful&quot;. All inherited misery magically becomes the child's responsibility! The same argumentative scheme which is applied here, is also applied in the theodicies: the impeccable Parent created their child out of love, gave them something very valuable, and also made them &quot;free&quot;, while the child, being free, sinned, thus behaved wrongly and defiled this very valuable thing which was given to them, causing dissatisfaction for their unfortunate parent. It is an almost tragicomic scheme, because it is the exact opposite that seems to be true: our parents gave us, for their own pleasure and benefit, something of very dubious value which we, as a result of subjection and necessity – that is, very far from any real &quot;freedom&quot; – have to try to improve with a lot of our effort. As long as we do not reverse this prevailing valuation in our societies, ethical issues cannot even begin to be seriously considered, because the mother's viscerally egocentric and manipulative relationship with their children will continue to be regarded as a paradigm of ethical morality, which seems, at least, to be a crucial error of appreciation, a very serious mythology, a colossal mystification.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Mal-estar e Moralidade: Situação humana, Ética e Procriação Responsável'', 2018, pp. 538-539

* The &quot;eternal gratitude&quot; is present not only in the early stages of life, but throughout children's long dependence upon their parents during the first ten years of life — in which they are even objects of exhibition — and in the harsh period of adolescence, in which children are endlessly treated as &quot;ungrateful&quot;, as if they were never able to repay their immense debt; everything that is bought for them, for their future, their studies, all those things that the child never asked for, which are part of an affective and economic investment of the parents, is endlessly and for long and hard years, presented as proof of sacrifice and love, as an object of eternal gratitude, never fully repaid by the ungrateful children. The position of parenthood constitutes a powerful mechanism of domination in which even the physical violence of punishments and beatings is justified in favor of the never-requested raising of that being who was thrown into the world, with parents trying to build protections so that their child is not destroyed by the immense gift they just received.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Mal-estar e Moralidade: Situação Humana, Ética e Procriação Responsável'', 2018, pp. 539-540

* Man's greatest crime on earth is the fatal fact of birth.
** [[Pedro Calderón de la Barca]], ''La vida es sueño'', 1635

* Non-living matter, being purely objective, is oblivious to the subjective phenomena that torment living creatures, that is, free from any and all suffering, in a state of perfect serenity. It does not makes sense to try to be &quot;mean&quot; with inanimate matter. There is no way to torture rocks by throwing them off cliffs, hammering them, etc. There is only one way to make matter suffer: by transforming it into a living being. It follows that, even from an objective point of view, we can find moral implications in reproduction, since it condemns matter to suffer needlessly in the form of a living being driven by afflictions and needs, only to later return to the same situation in which it initially found itself, without any meaning or benefit to it. From this perspective, we do not claim that reproduction is wrong, only that it is cruel. We affirm that, objectively, to live is to suffer. However, we do not draw subjective conclusions from this. Whether or not it is worth living is a different and subjective question, which refers to the value we attach to life. The immorality lies in the fact that the value of life is an issue that can only be considered by those who are already alive. When we reproduce, we impose our personal conclusions on someone who cannot even defend himself. Naturally, it is not a transcendental and absolute morality, but one relative to life. It can be understood as objective in the sense of referring to something that necessarily occurs, due to the very nature of life, due to the conditions imposed on subjective existence when inserted in the determinations of the objective world. Therefore, let us not confuse this observation with moral preaching about right and wrong, right and duty, etc. We are only concerned with objectively describing the physical consequences of the equally physical phenomenon of bringing into existence a new consciousness that will be haunted by the restlessness that moves life.
** André Cancian, ''[https://www.academia.edu/41872748/O_Vazio_da_M%C3%A1quina_-_Niilismo_e_outros_abismos O Vazio da Máquina: Niilismo e outros abismos]'', 2009, pp. 289-290 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-8590555827}}&lt;/small&gt;

* In this perspective, reproduction makes us the only ones responsible for creating suffering in the world. Without us, there would be no pain. But there is, and it's our fault. Objectively, pain is not a bad thing, but it is subjectively. We, as living beings, have pain as the supreme reference point for everything that is undesirable. Our objective, biological nature imposes this condition on us. Just as pleasure is good, pain is bad - whether physical, emotional or psychological. Let the relativists stand up, with their crazy theories about the “arbitrariness” of the issue: we would like to see them believe this while we insert spikes under their nails. The presence of pain as something positively undesirable is an essential requirement for life to be sustainable, it is a condition imposed objectively on the survival machines that we are. Pain makes us efficient organisms, and without it we would not function properly, we would just die painlessly for ignoring the dangers that surround us. This means that when we make all the pain that exists on earth appear out of nothingness, when we put matter in the only condition in which it can suffer, that is, when we transform it into a living being, we become positively evil, responsible for the dissemination of suffering. Thus, intentional reproduction makes us perverse and immoral beings, and this in a purely objective sense, because it is a universally valid judgment, whatever the circumstances in which we find ourselves. As long as there is pain in existence, as long as life involves suffering, the act of reproducing means collaborating with its growth, perpetuating this misfortune, actively endeavoring to make the world a more painful and pitiful place.
** André Cancian, ''[https://www.academia.edu/41872748/O_Vazio_da_M%C3%A1quina_-_Niilismo_e_outros_abismos O Vazio da Máquina: Niilismo e outros abismos]'', 2009, p. 290 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-8590555827}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Obviously, we have the freedom to be as evil and selfish as we want, but we cannot deny that we are guilty of being so; there is no way to be innocent of this accusation. Originally, that life did not exist, never existed, and would have remained non-existent, if only we did not have the admirable idea of ​​ejaculating in a womb and making it appear out of nothingness to then claim that their suffering &quot;is not our problem&quot;, that we are not responsible because it is “natural”. Now, even a theologian could not take such a lame excuse seriously. The objection that procreation does not necessarily make us evil because suffering occurs in life in a natural and inevitable way is not justified because, although we cannot change life's intimate constitution, we have the choice to reproduce or not. He who is born, on the contrary, cannot choose whether to come into the world or not, just as we had no choice regarding our own birth. We may or may not have children. However, when we decide to have them, this choice makes us positively evil, gratuitously cruel. We, as an insomnia of matter, harm that which sleeps deeply only to share our lack of sleep, to feel less bored with our embarrassingly futile existences.
** André Cancian, ''[https://www.academia.edu/41872748/O_Vazio_da_M%C3%A1quina_-_Niilismo_e_outros_abismos O Vazio da Máquina: Niilismo e outros abismos]'', 2009, pp. 290-291 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-8590555827}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Undoubtedly, the reproductive drive has deep biological roots, but this does not free us from guilt either. Of course, it was not us who invented life and its rules, but it was us who propagated it. We intentionally created a life in circumstances where we ''knew'' that suffering would be unavoidable. The impulse of aggression often leads us to commit crimes, but we do not fail to consider it reprehensible. It is something equally instinctive and natural, rooted in us as deeply as the sexual impulse. The difference is that, in the case of procreation, our aggression will materialize nine months later, as if planting a time bomb in the heart of nothingness.
** André Cancian, ''[https://www.academia.edu/41872748/O_Vazio_da_M%C3%A1quina_-_Niilismo_e_outros_abismos O Vazio da Máquina: Niilismo e outros abismos]'', 2009, p. 291 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-8590555827}}&lt;/small&gt;

* The situation we have is basically the following: an individual deliberately inflicts great physical, emotional and psychological suffering on someone else in the hope of diminishing his own, and the victim will never be able to defend himself from such aggression, except through suicide. Logically, the pain will not be caused directly by us, but by the circumstances in which we place the individual. However, this could have been avoided with any cheap condom. To cause great pain to an innocent person, just to achieve a small reduction of our own, is a vile and revolting act. We could, without a doubt, feel entitled to demand reparation for such injustice, for having been placed in this unworthy and degrading situation. It would make sense to receive compensation for the inconvenience of being born, but this is something that, as was said, nature has already wisely provided in the form of an instinct to protect the offspring. Parental love is the indemnity that children receive from their parents for having placed them in the world.
** André Cancian, ''[https://www.academia.edu/41872748/O_Vazio_da_M%C3%A1quina_-_Niilismo_e_outros_abismos O Vazio da Máquina: Niilismo e outros abismos]'', 2009, pp. 291-292 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-8590555827}}&lt;/small&gt;

* When we give up on having children, we give up a small and dubious personal satisfaction to prevent the emergence of great suffering. If we can exercise a minimum of compassion for what, according to ourselves, will be the sole object of our love and dedication, we will see that, by not reproducing, we will be putting into practice the only possible kindness toward our children. Let us be comforted to know that, because they were not born, in our dreams they will always be sleeping in their rooms, under blankets as soft as the embrace of the one whose love would never allow them to suffer, and thereby protected them from existence. They remain comfortable, serene, in peace, with a half-smile on their lips for never having tasted the bitterness and disappointment of life. They will always remain pure, eternally free from the dangers of the world. This is the true meaning of giving up one's life in favor of one's children.
** André Cancian, ''[https://www.academia.edu/41872748/O_Vazio_da_M%C3%A1quina_-_Niilismo_e_outros_abismos O Vazio da Máquina: Niilismo e outros abismos]'', 2009, p. 294 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-8590555827}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Very good and deep is the thought: &quot;Nobody would accept life as a gift if they could decide.&quot; Seneca was the one who said it and I am in agreement with him. Imagine a preexistent soul, in all its tranquility, which is informed of what the life of man entails and the evils to which they are subject – it would refuse to enter a body.
** [[Giacomo Casanova]], ''Dialogues sur le suicide'', 1782

* Satan, unable by his very nature to take possession of a spiritual element enclosed in the body, can at most delay its release from the body. This process of delaying is done by procreation: &quot;All flesh comes out of copulation. That is why it is impure.&quot;
** {{w|Jean Duvernoy}}, ''La religion des cathares'', 1976

* &quot;The fruit forbidden to our forefathers was nothing but the pleasures of a carnal intercourse, and Adam gave this fruit to his wife.&quot; In fact, &quot;it is not because of a good God that flowers bloom and cereal produces seeds, and people and animals multiply, but this is because of an evil god.&quot;
** {{w|Jean Duvernoy}}, ''La religion des cathares'', 1976

* It is understandable that the birth of a child chained a new soul to the earth and perpetuated the rule of Satan. The Perfect One sighs: &quot;May God grant that there will be no more children, that all souls will be saved and that the reign of Evil will be overthrown.&quot;
** {{w|René Nelli}}, ''La Vie quotidienne des Cathares du Languedoc au xiiie siècle'', 1979

* Regarding sexual intercourse, their position was that any form of intercourse was acceptable (and, according to some, celebrated), so long as it did not result in procreation.
** {{w|John M. Riddle}}, ''Contraception and Abortion from the Ancient World to the Renaissance'', 1994
** Description: about cathars.

* Cathars believed the whole of humanity, and each man individually, is the children of Satan. Why, then, serve their reproduction, if not for the duplication of suffering, and the triumph of Satan?
** Katarzyna Skrzypiec, [http://www.mowiawieki.pl/index.php?page=artykul&amp;id=136 ''Sekretna wieczerza, czyli o heretykach budzących sympatię''], 2009

* The Cathar troubadours with an unknown then refinement loved beautiful French and Italian women. At the same time, they were unequaled promoters of the idea of &quot;pure&quot; love, i.e. love that does not lead to pregnancy. The Cathars thought that the devil had &quot;equipped children of this world with the seed&quot;; they identified the conception with the spawn of satan, they were cursing pregnant women.
** {{w|Roman Tokarczyk}}, ''Prawa narodzin, życia i śmierci'', 2012

* As long as they have the wish to kill, they will not lose the lust to procreate.
** [[Guido Ceronetti]], ''The Silence of the Body: Materials for the Study of Medicine'', 1979

* Man dares to allow himself to be cruel, when he's already committed, tranquilly and repeatedly, the crudest act of all: engendering, condemning beings that do not exist or suffer to the horrors of life.
** [[Guido Ceronetti]], ''The Silence of the Body: Materials for the Study of Medicine'', 1979

* The immorality of procreation praised as conscious is this: here the crime of making a man, to introduce more evil and pain in the world is not made unconsciously in ecstasy and drama in the darkness of copulation, but is coolly premeditated, people then are no longer cautious and repeat the act until they reach the goal. But there is something even worse: artificial procreation, semen ice, where without the manipulator and the belly person horrified by what they do, lacks even the delight that is some extenuating circumstance.
** [[Guido Ceronetti]], ''The Silence of the Body: Materials for the Study of Medicine'', 1979

* Oh, the suppliers of live meat to furnaces of pain!
** [[Guido Ceronetti]], ''La carta e stanca: Una scelta'', 2000

* The unforgivable betrayal of philosophy: procreation.
**[[Guido Ceronetti]], ''L'occhio del barbagianni'', 2014

* Unfortunately for mankind—and perhaps fortunately for tyrants—the poor and downtrodden lack the instinct or pride of the elephant, who refuses to breed in captivity.
** [[Nicolas Chamfort]], ''Maximes et Pensées'', #509

* After the misfortune of being born, I do not know any greater than giving birth.
** [[François-René de Chateaubriand]], [https://fr.wikisource.org/wiki/M%C3%A9moires_d%E2%80%99outre-tombe ''Mémoires d'outre-tombe''], 1849

* We should do what we can to minimize the suffering of those animals already in existence, but we should also consider ending the breeding of captive animals. This will ensure that fewer suffering sentient beings are created, thus decreasing the overall amount of suffering. 
** Sayma H. Chowdhury, Todd K. Shackelford, ''To Breed, or Not to Breed?: An Antinatalist Answer to the Question of Animal Welfare'', 2017

* Best by far not to be born, and not to come up against these rocks of life, but, if you are born, is it next best to escape as it were from fire of fortune as quickly as possible.
** [[Marcus Tullius Cicero]], ''Consolation'', 45 BC

* Is it possible that existence is our exile and nothingness our home? 
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Pe culmile disperării'', 1934

* What sin have you committed to be born, what crime to exist?
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''A Short History of Decay'', 1949

* To procreate is to love the scourge – to seek to maintain and to augment it. They were right, those ancient philosophers who identified fire with the principle of the universe, and with desire, for desire burns, devours: annihilates: At once agent and destroyer of beings, it is somber, it is infernal by essence.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The New Gods'', 1969

* Nothing is a better proof of how far humanity has regressed than the impossibility of finding a single nation, a single tribe, among whom birth still provokes mourning and lamentations.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* If attachment is an evil, we must look for its cause in the scandal of birth, for to be born is to be attached. Detachment then should apply itself to getting rid of the traces of this scandal, the most serious and intolerable of all.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* Everything is wonderfully clear if we admit that birth is a disastrous or at least an inopportune event; but if we think otherwise, we must resign ourselves to the unintelligible, or else cheat like everyone else.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* If it is true that by death we once more become what we were before being, would it not have been better to abide by that pure possibility, not to stir from it? What use was this detour, when we might have remained forever in an unrealized plenitude?
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* I was alone in that cemetery overlooking the village when a pregnant woman came in. I left at once, in order not to look at this corpse-bearer at close range, nor to ruminate upon the contrast between an aggressive womb and the time-worn tombs-between a false promise and the end of all promises.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* That faint light in each of us which dates back to before our birth, to before all births, is what must be protected if we want to rejoin that remote glory from which we shall never know why we were separated.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* When every man has realized that his birth is a defeat, existence, endurable at last, will seem like the day after a surrender, like the relief and the repose of the conquered.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* Not to be born is undoubtedly the best plan of all. Unfortunately it is within no one's reach.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* I have said more than once that one can have a post-sexual vision of the world, the most desperate vision that is possible: the feeling of having invested everything in something that was not worth it. The extraordinary thing is that we are dealing with a reversible infinity. Sexuality is an immense imposture, a gigantic falsehood that invariably renews itself. 
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Entretiens'', 1995

* The only reason why I flatter myself, is that I understood very early, before the age of twenty, that one should not procreate. My disgust towards marriage, family and all social conventions has its source in this. Crime is to transmit one's frailties to someone else, to force someone to experience the same things we are experiencing, to force someone to the Way of the Cross that may be worse than our own. I could never agree to give life to someone who inherits misfortunes and evil. All parents are irresponsible people, or murderers. Procreation should belong only to beasts. Pity makes you not want to be a &quot;progenitor&quot;. This is the cruelest word I know of.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Cahiers 1957-1972'', 1997

* Once again, I want to pray, cry. dissolve, be nothing, return to the initial zero from before birth.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Cahiers 1957-1972'', 1997

* With what I know, with what I feel, I could not give life to someone without falling into a total contradiction with myself, without being intellectually dishonest and without committing a moral crime. It is interesting that this attitude in me is really old, as I'd had it before crystallizing my thoughts on this subject. I started feeling disgust towards procreation very early; it was an answer to my horror; not only: to the horror of life and the thirst for it. I never accepted sex other than for pleasure. Its proper function always created in me an insurmountable aversion. I would never voluntarily agree to take responsibility for life.
**[[Emil Cioran]], ''Cahiers 1957-1972'', 1997

* The problem of responsibility would make sense only if we were asked for an opinion before our birth and if we agreed to be the ones we are.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Cahiers 1957-1972'', 1997

* It is the stroke of midnight. I feel lonely in the face of despair stronger than me. And again I take refuge in the time before I was born.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Cahiers 1957-1972'', 1997

* I do not hate life or desire death, I only regret being born. I prefer non-birth from life and death. The bliss of non-birth. The longer I live, the more willingly I give myself to the joy of non-birth.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Cahiers 1957-1972'', 1997

* In her novel The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas, Ursula K. le Guin describes a city where the good fortune of the citizens requires that an innocent child is tortured in a secret place (le Guin 1973). The child stands symbolically for the innocence of extreme suﬀerers. The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas are the people who deny the world. We will associate them with Buddhist monks in this paper, i.e., with childlessness and retreat. The metaphor suggests that individual happiness is ambivalent. The joy of the majority is at the cost of a suﬀering minority; one is not possible without the other. There is no doubt that the human suﬀering in this world is caused by procreation, but the relation is indirect. Parents participate in an immensely complex system of interactions and probabilities. Often a contingent event decides who becomes a victim. As a consequence, participants deny the responsibility for the results of the system – a phenomenon which is also known in the context of structural violence (Galtung 1969). If the human race were a sympathetic race, it could walk away from Omelas.
** Bruno Contestabile, [http://www.socrethics.com/Folder2/WorldDenial.htm ''The Denial of the World from an Impartial View''], 2016

* Things change in an instant. Two things, however, are certain. Everyone will suffer. And everyone will die. Back to where we came from. Knowing this, and understanding full well that any particular life embodies the potential for experiencing extreme pain and unhappiness unceasing in some cases is procreation really worth the risk?
** Jim Crawford, ''Confessions of an Antinatalist'', 2010

* If a child, for whose existence I was responsible, were to ask me why he or she were here, what happens after death, whether I could guarantee he or she would not suffer a fate like that [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Junko_Furuta Furuta Junko] suffered in 1988/89 (please look it up, as there's no room to describe it), what would I say? To me, the fact I have no answers that would not be guesswork, evasion or dogma indicates that having children is selfish and cruel.
**{{w|Quentin S. Crisp}}, [http://www.litfmag.com/issue-2/antinatalism-a-thought-experiment/ ''Antinatalism: A Thought Experiment''], 2014

* Murder is the curtailing of a life that would have ended anyway; having a child creates a death that would never have been.
** {{w|Quentin S. Crisp}}, [http://www.litfmag.com/issue-2/antinatalism-a-thought-experiment/ ''Antinatalism: A Thought Experiment''], 2014

* Whoever trusts us will remain single; those who do not trust us will rear children. And if the race of men should cease to exist there would be as much cause for regret as there would be if the flies and wasps should pass away.
** Unknown, ''Cynic epistles, 47th Letter''
** Description: a sentence from a collection of letters expounding the principles and practices of cynic philosophy (wrongly attributed to Diogenes).

==D==

* This great senseless, wasteful, cruel spawning of life upon the earth! I see not only its pain, but its pleasures, and its joys annoy me more than its sorrows, for I don't want to lose them.
** [[Clarence Darrow]], [https://ia802606.us.archive.org/15/items/islifeworthlivin910star/islifeworthlivin910star_jpg.pdf ''Is Life Worth Living?''], 1925

* Nature knows nothing about right and wrong, good and evil, pleasure and pain; she simply acts. She creates a beautiful woman, and places a cancer on her cheek. She may create an idealist, and kill him with a germ. She creates a fine mind, and then burdens it with a deformed body. And she will create a fine body, apparently for no use whatever. She may destroy the most wonderful life when its work has just commenced. She may scatter tubercular germs broadcast throughout the world. She seemingly works with no method, plan or purpose. She knows no mercy nor goodness. Nothing is so cruel and abandoned as Nature. To call her tender or charitable is a travesty upon words and a stultification of intellect. No one can suggest these obvious facts without being told that he is not competent to judge Nature and the God behind Nature. If we must not judge God as evil, then we cannot judge God as good. In all the other affairs of life, man never hesitates to classify and judge, but when it comes to passing on life, and the responsibility of life, he is told that it must be good, although the opinion beggars reason and intelligence and is a denial of both. Emotionally, I shall no doubt act as others do to the last moment of my existence. With my last breath I shall probably try to draw another, but, intellectually, I am satisfied that life is a serious burden, which no thinking, humane person would wantonly inflict on some one else.
** [[Clarence Darrow]], [http://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks05/0500951h.html ''The Story of My Life''], 1932

* To spare you all that I have seen,&lt;br /&gt;The losses I have sustained,&lt;br /&gt;I withstood the human impulse within.
** Sa'd Darweesh, ''I've committed no such crime!: A Conversation with My Unborn Son'', ''Fathers and sons in the Arab Middle East'', 2013

* There is no need here to detail again his thoughts on the futility of procreation and mankind's strange urge to reproduce. The child's constant wailing, however, moves him to infer that he (or she, as the case may be) is sickly and weak, and to remark with bitter irony, &quot;The first present he received from his loving parents is weakness and ill-health.&quot;
** Jutta E. Knorzer, ''Ali Dashti's Prison Days: Life Under Reza Shah'', 1994
** Desciription: about Ali Dashti.

* Celebrating a birthday is nothing but celebration because of a sinister farce that our parents arranged for us by bringing us to the world.
** {{w|Alexandra David-Néel}}, ''La Lampe de sagesse'', 1986

* No, I would not like it if there was no end, it is literally something we can influence: a peaceful end to humanity. Let no one – this is the first thing I wish – become a parent anymore. It does not hurt the unborn, and saves them a lot of trouble.
** [[Karlheinz Deschner]], ''Frommer Wunsch. Für ein friedliches Ende der Menschheit'', in: Peter Roos and Friederike Hassauer, ''Kinderwunsch. Reden und Gegenreden'', 1991

* In fact, what right did this Nature have to bring me into the world as a result of some eternal law of hers? I was created with consciousness, and I was conscious of this Nature: what right did she have to produce me, a conscious being, without my willing it? A conscious being, and thus a suﬀering one; but I do not want to suﬀer, for why would I have agreed to that? . . . And finally, even if one were to admit the possibility of this fairy tale of a human society at long last organized on earth on rational and scientifc bases; if one were to believe in this, to believe in the future happiness of people at long last, then the mere thought that some implacable laws of Nature made it essential to torment the human race for a thousand years before allowing it to attain that happiness that thought alone is unbearably loathsome. Now add the fact that this very same Nature, which has permitted humanity at last to attain happiness, tomorrow will find it necessary for some reason to reduce it all to zero, despite the suffering with which humanity has paid for this happiness; and, more important, that Nature does all this without concealing anything from me and my consciousness as she hid things from the cow. In such a case one cannot help but come to the very amusing yet unbearably sad thought: &quot;What if the human race has been placed on the earth as some sort of brazen experiment, simply in order to find out whether such creatures are going to survive here or not?&quot; The sad part of this thought lies mainly in the fact that once again no one is to blame; no one conducted the experiment; there is no one we can curse; it all happened simply due to the dead laws of Nature, which I absolutely cannot comprehend and with which my consciousness is utterly unable to agree.
** [[Fyodor Dostoevsky]], ''A Writer's Diary, vol 1, The Sentence'', 1876
** Description: written from the perspective of a materialist and signed N.N.

* Feminism must be equipped with fire and brilliance. It's the holiest ideal of this time. That the noble natural rights of women have been discovered so late shows a dreadful spotlight on the history of so-called human development. There may appear to be something weird in feminism for the uninitiated, but as soon as we reach that point, philosophy will raise its aristocratic head and say to us: &quot;The new doctrines involves the priesthood of only women, it proves the truth of pessimism and the necessity of worldwide misery in the current system, but not that of an endless continuation of existence.&quot; Then, according to the women's higher mission, women will recognize themselves as superior beings, as the priestesses of their race, as natural nobility. Aware of the higher law of life, at that same time, under their perception of the higher law of life, women will become fully aware of their higher purpose, to appear as the leaders towards death, preparing the end of the end. This then becomes the ideal, and take the place of any ideal without end or goal!
** {{w|Helene von Druskowitz}}, [https://de.wikisource.org/wiki/Pessimistische_Kardinals%C3%A4tze ''Pessimistische Kardinalsätze: Ein Vademekum für die freiesten Geister''], 1905

==E==

* So I returned, and considered all the oppressions that are done under the sun: and behold the tears of &quot;such as were&quot; oppressed, and they had no comforter; and on the side of their oppressors &quot;there was&quot; power; but they had no comforter. Wherefore I praised the dead which are already dead more than the living which are yet alive. Yea, better &quot;is he&quot; than both they, which hath not yet been, who hath not seen the evil work that is done under the sun.
** [[Ecclesiastes]], [https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ecclesiastes+4&amp;version=KJV ''Ecclesiastes 4:1-3, King James Version of the Bible, 1611'']

* Other groups, like the Encratites, saw procreation as the diabolically inspired evil that perpetuates our imprisonment within these mortal coils. They argued that total purity would disentangle trapped souls, reuniting them with the light.
** Jo Ann McNamara, ''A New Song: Celibate Women in the First Three Christian Centuries'', 1985

* Jung: &quot;Somewhere on earth certainly still are people who do not accept this suicide law of extinction.&quot; Cassius: &quot;If it is a hope for you, that somewhere people gathering new forces to again tear apart each other in even more bloody wars, so let it, have such hope.&quot;
** Karl Ettlinger, ''Der erschossene Storch'', 1930
** Description: dialogue between the characters of the novel, Jung, who wakes up after five thousand years of hibernation in a post-apocalyptic world where most people have been murdered with chemical weapon, and Cassius, the leader of the last people, pacifists and vegetarians enjoying life, who decided to resign from procreation, having come to the conclusion that the existence of people always sooner or later is associated with the making of slaughters by them.

* To those, on the other hand, who under a pious cloak blaspheme by their continence both the creation and the holy Creator, the almighty, only God, and teach that one must reject marriage and begetting of children, and should not bring others in their place to live in this wretched world, nor give any sustenance to death , our reply is as follows.
** [[Clement of Alexandria]], [http://gnosis.org/library/strom3.htm ''Stromata, Book III, Chapter VI, 45'']
** Description: about the gnostic sect of Encratites.

* &quot;For mortals it is better not to be born than to be born; Children I bring to birth with bitter pains; And then when I have borne them they lack understanding. In vain I groan, that I must look on wicked offspring. While I lose the good. If the good survive, My wretched heart is melted by alarm. What is this goodness then? Is it not enough That I should care for one alone And bear the pain for this one soul?&quot; And further to the same effect, &quot;So now I think and have long so thought Man ought never children to beget, Seeing into what agonies we are born.&quot; But in the following verses he clearly attributes the cause of evil to the primal origins, when he speaks as follows: &quot;O thou who art born for misfortune and disaster, thou art born a man, and thine unhappy life thou didst receive from the place where the air of heaven, which gives breath to mortals, first began to give food for all. Complain not of thy mortal state, thou who art mortal.&quot; Again he puts the same idea in these words: &quot;No mortal is content and happy Nor is any born free from sorrow.&quot;
** [[Euripides]], quoted and commented by [[Clement of Alexandria]], [http://gnosis.org/library/strom3.htm ''Stromata, Book III, Chapter III, 22-23'']

* What could be worse?&lt;br /&gt;Sex leads death's dance,&lt;br /&gt;In childbirth grief begins.
** [[Euripides]], ''[[w:Medea_(play)|Medea]]''

==F==

* Where shall I be a hundred years from now? Where will all the present dwellers of the Earth be? To die, for ever and ever; to have existed but for a moment! What a mockery! Would it not be better a hundred times over never to have been born? But if it be our fate to live eternally and never to be able to change anything of the fatality that carries us along – having endless eternity always before us – how can we bear the burden of such a destiny? Is that the doom awaiting us? If we should tire of existence, we should be forbidden to fly from it; it would be impossible to end it. In this conception, there is far more implacable cruelty than in that of an ephemeral life vanishing away insect's flight in the fresh evening breeze. Why then were we born? To suffer uncertainty; to find after examination not a single one of our hope a left; to live like idiots if we do not think, like madmen if we do?
** {{w|Camille Flammarion}}, [http://www.gutenberg.org/files/52933/52933-h/52933-h.htm ''Uranie''], 1889
** Description: the words of the character, Georges Spero.

* He seriously thought that there is less harm in killing a man than producing a child: in the first case you are relieving someone of life, not his whole life but a half or a quarter or a hundredth part of that existence that is going to finish, that would finish without you; but as for the second, he would say, are you not responsible to him for all the tears he will shed, from the cradle to the grave? Without you he would never have been born, and why is he born? For your amusement, not for his, that's for sure; to carry your name, the name of a fool, I'll be bound – you may as well write that name on some wall; why do you need a man to bear the burden of three or four letters?
**[[Gustave Flaubert]], ''November'', 1841
** Description: about the protagonist. 

* The idea of bringing someone into the world fills me with horror. I would curse myself if I were a father. A son of mine! Oh no, no, no! May my entire flesh perish and may I transmit to no one the aggravations and the disgrace of existence.
** [[Gustave Flaubert]], ''The Letters of Gustave Flaubert 1830-1857'', 1846

==G==

* Suppose for a moment that all procreation stops, it will only mean that all destruction will cease. Moksha is nothing but release from the cycle of births and deaths. This alone is believed to be the highest bliss, and rightly.
** [[Mahatma Gandhi]], ''Collected works, volume 23'', 1958

* The ideal brahmachari had not to struggle with sensual desire or desire for procreation; it never troubles him at all. The whole world will be to him one vast family, he will centre allhis ambition in relieving the misery of mankind and the desire for procreation will be to him as gall and wormwood.
** [[Mahatma Gandhi]], ''Collected works, volume 30'', 1968

* If destruction is violence, creation, too, is violence. Procreation, therefore, involves violence. The creation of what is bound to perish certainly involves violence.
** [[Mahatma Gandhi]], ''Collected works, volume 32'', 1969

* What shall I write ...? If I say that is good, it would be a lie. If I express sorrow, it would be violence. ... I would only say and wish that you learn to control yours senses.
** [[Mahatma Gandhi]], ''Gandhi's Passion: The Life and Legacy of Mahatma Gandhi'', 2002
** Description: letter to his nephew Chhaganlal's wife Kashi, who had just given birth to a daughter.

* Answer without flinching: if there existed a solution that could abolish the totality of all evils inflicted on disastrous humanity, if it was possible, by some simple remedy, incredibly cheap, immediately accessible, scrupulously inoffensive, of absolute and definitive efficiency, to stop all distress, all cries, all cries of pain, all pathologies, all protests of ill-being, all despair, all cataclysms, all anxiety, all unhappiness, in short all tortures afflicting the human species, would you have the macabre stupidity to reject such a remedy, to disdain such a miracle cure? No, that goes without saying. Well this solution does exist, and the mysterious is thereby delivered to us: it consists simply, in its saintly simplicity, to not procreate.
** {{w|Théophile de Giraud}}, [http://theophiledegiraud.e-monsite.com/medias/files/manifeste-anti-nataliste.pdf ''L'art de guillotiner les procréateurs: Manifeste anti-nataliste''], 2006, p. 10

* Significant symbolism: we are all born in filth and suffering, of course in the suffering of our mother, who, however, has no right to complain if it was her choice, but above all in the one we experience, the victims, the unfortunate exiles from emptiness, who being in paradisiacal pelagic darkness, in which no anxiety reached us, we suddenly start to struggle, terribly squeezed, almost grinded, choking and fainting, because we are forced out through a poor quality birth canal, designed by this incompetent handyman called Mother Nature.
**{{w|Théophile de Giraud}}, [http://theophiledegiraud.e-monsite.com/medias/files/manifeste-anti-nataliste.pdf ''L'art de guillotiner les procréateurs: Manifeste anti-nataliste''], 2006, pp. 13–14

* Another argument is often made by the irresponsible ones who breed us – that it is an act of &quot;leaving a trace&quot; – strange impulse! Let us immediately observe that from an ethological point of view this is akin to the attitude many mammals have to leave droppings on the ground to mark their path or territory. The dog urinating against a lamp post also leaves a trace, one however which, unlike the baby, benefits from the privilege of not having to endure the grueling stresses of life.
** {{w|Théophile de Giraud}}, [http://theophiledegiraud.e-monsite.com/medias/files/manifeste-anti-nataliste.pdf ''L'art de guillotiner les procréateurs: Manifeste anti-nataliste''], 2006, p. 35

* If it was otherwise, if procreation was not the result of the most scandalous narcissism, if our odious parents were really moved by some generosity, prospective adoption candidates would be incredibly more numerous than the millions of children who wait, right now, to be adopted! But talk about adoption and you'll see a big frown of &quot;yes-but-not-for-me&quot; form on their face, greedy to possess a prey coming entirely from their bodies. &quot;Orphans? Someone else's baby? Come on, get scientists to help vanquish my infertility instead!&quot; 
**{{w|Théophile de Giraud}}, [http://theophiledegiraud.e-monsite.com/medias/files/manifeste-anti-nataliste.pdf ''L'art de guillotiner les procréateurs: Manifeste anti-nataliste''], 2006, p. 51

* The predispositions and motivations of the obviously noble individuals are assessed, individuals who want, through adoption, to help existing child swim in the hell of existence, but even the most ominous fool, if he only has such a wish, has absolute right, through creation, to immerse them this hell, without having to justify it in any way.
**{{w|Théophile de Giraud}}, [http://theophiledegiraud.e-monsite.com/medias/files/manifeste-anti-nataliste.pdf ''L'art de guillotiner les procréateurs: Manifeste anti-nataliste''], 2006, p. 147

* How is it that in no epoch of history, in no place on earth, a sect of wise men has been formed with the aim of making human life die out in the face of the cruelty of its evils? 
** {{w|Goncourt brothers}}, ''Journal: Memoires de la vie litteraire. 1864-1878. Tome 2''

* Imagine that it's possible. This is what I think. . . . When I was young this I thought and still think to this day, that I do not know how all of it works and where it is leading... what would I tell a child about all this, why was they born and for what purpose? . . . We breed, we give birth without thought. But then, when the child says: I never asked for this – we find ourselves bereft of answers. A multitude of misfortunes are happening on earth, life is a great risk, and it often hurts terribly... So should one take responsibility, bring someone into the world, &quot;bestow the gift of life&quot;? 
** Krystyna Gonet, ''Jak by to powiedzieć... Rozmowy z Krystianem Lupą'', 2002, pp. 47–48
** Description: answer to Krystian Lupa's question &quot;Is it possible to think that we should not give birth to children at all, because the meaning of life is not certain?&quot;

* I am able to find meaning in my life, but I do not feel entitled to impose it to anyone.
** Krystyna Gonet, ''Jak by to powiedzieć... Rozmowy z Krystianem Lupą'', 2002, p. 49

*Didn't Conrad, in his great novel &quot;Heart of Darkness&quot;, had this feeling of deathbed despair, when he mentions Kurz's doubtful fight with death – fight without confidence? Same Conrad, who put in one of his novels Calderon's words, that the biggest misfortune of man is to be born, as a tagline? This coincides with your repeatedly spoken thesis, that the biggest iniquity is to bring children to life, because giving them birth is sentencing them to death. We are pulling them out from the nothingness, from the state of complete unconsciousness into reality – and then we command them to undergo the agony of death, which they wouldn't have to experience without being alive in the first place.
** Zbigniew Grabowski, ''Rozmowy z Tobą'', 1974, p. 151
** Description: written to his wife Zofia Grabowska

* For the bodily procreation of children (let no one be displayed by this argument) is more an embarking upon death that upon life for man. Corruption has its beginning in birth and those who refrain from procreation through virginity themselves bring about a cancellation of death by preventing it from advancing further because of them, and, by setting themselves up as a kind of boundary stone between life and death, they keep death from going forward.
** [[Gregory of Nyssa]], ''Ascetical Works (The Fathers of the Church, Volume 58)''

==H==

* There are two most conscious actions that man can act upon: suicide and desisting procreation.
** {{w|Yutaka Haniya}}, ''無限の相のもとに'', 1997

* For instance, people call me a pessimist; and if it is pessimism to think, with Sophocles, that's not to have been born is best,' then I do not reject the designation.
** {{w|Thomas Hardy}}, ''Interviews and Recollections'', 2016

* Humans are the most destructive creatures on the planet. We cause vast numbers of animal deaths (both directly and indirectly). We destroy habitats. We damage the environment. We are currently heating up the world's climate in a way that is likely to be detrimental to countless numbers of animals (ourselves included). And we have the means, nuclear weapons, to destroy everything at the push of a button. We came perilously close to pushing that button on one occasion (the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962). The best way to stop the destruction is to remove the destructive force; to remove humans by refraining from procreation. In short, the colossal amount of harm caused by humans gives us a moral reason to boycott the human species. 
** Gerald Harrison, Julia Tanner, [https://www.cambridge.org/core/services/aop-cambridge-core/content/view/3AF8BE47794522E31BE351F4D9822344/S1477175610000436a.pdf/better_not_to_have_children.pdf ''Better Not To Have Children''], 2010, p. 113

* It might be pointed out that we cannot gain someone's consent to exist; we cannot gain their consent before they exist and by the time they exist it's too late. But the fact that we cannot gain their consent does not mean that we are free to do without it. Suppose you wish to torture someone against their will, you cannot seek your victim's consent – the torture would not then be against their will. It would be absurd to argue that for this reason we are permitted to torture people against their will. Similarly, the fact that prospective parents cannot get the consent of those they plan to bring into existence doesn't magically mean it's OK. Quite the opposite – if you can't get the consent of the person you're going to significantly affect by your action, then the default position is that you don't do whatever it is that's going to affect them. There are exceptions. Pushing someone out of the way of a falling piano is morally right even if no prior consent can be given (if, for instance, there isn't time). But in this kind of case you are preventing someone from coming to great harm. To procreate – to subject someone to a life – does not prevent them coming to harm. Not being created cannot harm them because they don't exist.
** Gerald Harrison, Julia Tanner, [https://www.cambridge.org/core/services/aop-cambridge-core/content/view/3AF8BE47794522E31BE351F4D9822344/S1477175610000436a.pdf/better_not_to_have_children.pdf ''Better Not To Have Children''], 2010, pp. 117–118

* It therefore seems there are at least two prima facie duties that push towards making procreative acts wrong overall: our prima facie duty to prevent pain and our prima facie duty not to seriously affect someone else without his prior consent.
** Gerald Harrison, ''Antinatalism, Asymmetry, and an Ethic of Prima Facie Duties'', 2012

* I believe it is morally wrong to cause avoidable suffering to other people. This belief gives rise to two different objections to human reproduction. On the one hand, since all human beings suffer at some point in their lives, every parent who could have declined to procreate is to blame. On the other hand, since potential parents cannot guarantee that the lives of their children will be better than non-existence, they can also be rightfully accused of gambling on other people's lives, whatever the outcome. Because of the uncertainties of human life, anybody's children can end up arguing that it would have been better for them not to have been born at all. The probability of this outcome does not necessarily matter. It is enough that the possibility is real, which it always is.
**{{w|Matti Häyry}}, [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1733883/pdf/v030p00377.pdf ''A rational cure for prereproductive stress syndrome''], 2004

* Sleep is good, death is better; but of course,&lt;br /&gt;the best thing would to have never been born at all.
** [[Heinrich Heine]], ''Morphine'', 1856

* Wouldn't it be nice to have a kid, to have this fresh, clean slate, which we could fill, and a little clean spirit, totally, you know, innocent, and to fill it with good ideas. Yeah, yeah, how about this? If you're so f#####g altruistic, why don't you leave the little clean spirit wherever it is right now? Ok? Horrible act, childbirth. It's a nightmare. Bringing – I would never bring a kid to this f#####g planet. 
** [[Bill Hicks]], ''Love All the People: Letters, Lyrics, Routines'', 2004

* The mother instinct is something of which I am completely devoid. I explain it like this to myself: life is a vale of tears and all human beings are miserable creatures, so I cannot take the responsibility for bringing yet another unhappy creature into the world.
** [[Etty Hillesum]], ''An interrupted Life: The Diaries of Etty Hillesum 1941–1943'', 1981

* I respect the deserters and solidarize myself with the forcibly recruited.
** {{w|Ulrich Horstmann}}, [http://www.literaturkritik.de/public/rezension.php?rez_id=583 ''Wir bewohnen einen Hinterhof – Ein Interview mit Ulrich Horstmann'']
** Description: about suicide and procreation.

* Mankind's only aim is to reproduce, to continue the species. Although this aim is obviously insignificant, mankind pursues it with terrifying relentlessness. Men may well be unhappy, atrociously unhappy, but they resist with all their strength the thing that could change their fate: they want children, and children similar to them, in order to dig their own grave and perpetuate the conditions for unhappiness.
**[[Michel Houellebecq]], ''The Possibility of an Island'', 2005
** Description: the words of the character, prophet.

*  ...I am not cut out to be a parent. Besides, I consider marriage a sin and having children a crime. ... It is also my conviction that he who takes upon himself the yoke of marriage is a fool, even more a sinner. A fool, for in so doing he disposes of his freedom without gaining a corresponding compensation; a sinner, for he gives life to children without being able to give them the certainty of happiness. I despise mankind in all its strata; I foresee that our descendants will be far more unhappy than we are —  would I not be a sinner if, in spite of this view, I did not care for those who are to come, that is, for those unhappy beings? - No sight fills me with greater melancholy than that of an innocent little child. I cannot help myself to think every time of the sufferings, which it ripens towards. All life is a great nonsense. And when one has toiled and researched for eighty years, one must admit that one has toiled and researched for nothing. If only we knew why we are in this world! But everything is and will be enigmatic for the thinker, and the greatest happiness is to have been born stupid.
** [[Alexander von Humboldt]], [https://salmoxisbote.de/Bote06/Humboldt.htm from the diary of the Countess von B., previously Fräulein von R., who died in 1852, in which she records a conversation Humboldt had with one of her friends in Paris in 1812.]
** Description: the same citation can also be found, for instance, in [[Philipp Mainländer]]'s Philosophie der Erlösung

* The whole earth, believe me, Philo, is cursed and polluted. A perpetual war is kindled amongst all living creatures. Necessity, hunger, want, stimulate the strong and courageous: Fear, anxiety, terror, agitate the weak and infirm. The first entrance into life gives anguish to the new-born infant and to its wretched parent: weakness, impotence, distress, attend each stage of that life: and 'tis at last finished in agony and horror.
** [[David Hume]], ''Dialogues concerning natural religion'', 1779
** Description: the words of the character, Demea.

* Whatever the feeling of those who procreate, as long as they act knowingly not unaware that they are organisms for pain, souls of disappointment, harmful beings, both victims and executioners, they are malefactors, and the child has the right to consider his father and mother as mere murderers. Yes, murderers! Because giving life means also giving death. A look from this perspective should be enough to demand abstaining from begetting. And then what? End of the world! Of course, it would be the end of the world in the short or long term and I do not see any problem with it.
**{{w|Marie Huot}}, ''[https://www.tpsalomonreinach.mom.fr/Reinach/MOM_TP_129996/MOM_TP_129996_0001/PDF/MOM_TP_129996_0001.pdf Le mal de vivre]'', 1909

* Lack of capacity to give consent do not mean somebody can inflict any action to the person that lacks the capacity to give informed consent. For example, minor under age of consent deemed to lack the capacity to give consent, so any sexual contact with such minor is deemed rape unconditionally (statutory rape). Even though for example, medical treatment, vaccination, and compulsory education are inflicted without the informed consent of the child, such action is deemed to be (whether real or purported) best interest of the child to be justifiable. For procreation, the child neither given consent thereto nor have any interest to come into existence, although once came into existence, the child may have the interest to continue their existence.
** Jiwoon Hwang, ''Procreation Is Murder: The Case for Voluntary Human Extinction'', 2017

==I==

* Born in horror and pain, I also live in horrible dread of the end, the exit. I'm caught in an incredible, inadmissible, infernal trap, between two frightful events.
**[[Eugene Ionesco]], ''The Hermit'', 1977

* Two things are unacceptable: birth and death. I did not ask for them and I do not accept them.
** [[Eugene Ionesco]], ''Un homme en question'', 1979

==J==

* When life failed our expectations, when we gave up the creation of ourselves, when we sense that everything is in ruins then instead of going to the mortuary we lead the family and relatives to the place even more grave and kitschy place: to the maternity ward.
** Roland Jaccard, ''La tenstation nihiliste'', 1989

* What could be more obscene than a woman proudly carrying a future corpse in her belly?
** Roland Jaccard, ''Topologie du pessimisme'', 1997

* Causing the birth of a child means abusing this child. At the mere idea that they could give life, every wise man thinks that he would prefer to die.
** Roland Jaccard, ''Un climatiseur en enfer'', 2000

* How can anyone take seriously an insane idea that the world was created by a good God, and sign up under the most criminal of all imperatives: &quot;be fruitful and multiply&quot;?
** Roland Jaccard, ''Sexe et sarcasmes'', 2009

* Never, at any point in life, I could get rid of the notion that this type of ending to life, which brings death, is an absurdity, unendurable without the smokescreen of one or another myth, a delusion that goes beyond the boundaries of our biological being, which is a seasonal being, bounded by space and time, understood only in these categories, which doesn't signify that we must understand precisely this form of being as the existence and non-existence, reasonable, righteous, and the only one, just because it's necessary. Inevitability does not mean a wise solution. First of all, it deprives us of freedom. Since the earliest years of consciousness, we are determined, we know about it, at any time we are in danger, never safe. Does existence in the vastness of the universe have to be connected with constant risk, does it have to be like a house, where tenancy agreement can be terminated at any time; can't we think about existence based on more permanent foundations, less limited, having knowledge about something much wiser? These thoughts of a rational being are based on the common logic of thinking, they do not take into account another possibility, that being shouldn't be considered in the category of logic and necessity, but it can be considered in the categories of absurd, lack of logic and hostile necessity. The difficultly of accepting death does not have to result in an attachment to life, from a deficiency so great that a being already brought into existence, would like to live forever or not be born at all. However, this is not senseless thinking, on the contrary, it seems much more sensible than all this huge preparation for a short life. A rational being – it may seem so to us – should have the right to choose death, but should not be submitted to a determined death sentence, should not be a convict.
**{{w|Mieczysław Jastrun}}, ''Wolność wyboru'', 1969

* You must not marry and have sons or daughters in this place.
:* [[Book of Jeremiah|Jeremiah]] 16:2
::: ''Barnes Notes on the Bible'' offers this gloss:
:::* As marriage was obligatory upon the Jews, the prohibition of it to Jeremiah was a sign that the impending calamity was so great as to override all ordinary duties.
::::* ''Barnes Notes on the Bible'', vol. 5, p. 412

* She asks, &quot;How long shall men die?&quot; Jesus answers, &quot;As long as you women bear children&quot;. Writers like Julius Cassianus take this as an implicit injunction to defeat death by ceasing from procreation. Clement resorts to allegorical explanation. By &quot;as long as women bear children&quot; the Lord meant &quot;as long as desires are active&quot;.
** {{w|John T. Noonan Jr.}}, ''Contraception; a history of its treatment by the Catholic theologians and canonists''
** Description: the dialogue of Jesus Christ with Salome from [[w:Greek Gospel of the Egyptians|Greek Gospel of the Egyptians]]. (The further part of the dialogue: Salome: &quot;I have done well, then, in not bearing children?&quot; Jesus: &quot;Every plant eat thou, but that which hath bitterness eat not. I have come to destroy the works of the female.&quot;)

==K==

* I'd also gone through an entire year of celibacy based on my feeling that lust was the direct cause of birth which was the direct cause of suffering and death and I had really no lie come to a point where I regarded lust as offensive and even cruel. &quot;Pretty girls make graves&quot;, was my saying, whenever I'd had to turn my head around involuntarily to stare at the incomparable pretties of Indian Mexico.
** [[Jack Kerouac]], ''The Dharma Bums'', 1958

* I will have to preach the only possible truth: The abolishing of death by extermination of birth. Life control. Put an end to human rebirth, by abstaining from sexual intercourse. Everybody stop breeding, or by method of-birth-control stop birth. At the same time, stop killing for sport or for eating living beings; they tremble at punishment and death too. Everybody live off vegetables and synthetic foods, causing no pain anywhere.
** [[Jack Kerouac]], ''Some of the Dharma'', 1997

* Let us cease bestiality and go into the bright room of the mind realizing emptiness, and sit with the truth. And let no man be guilty, after this, Dec. 9 1954, of causing birth. – Let there be an end to birth, an end to life, and therefore an end to death. Let there be no more fairy tales and ghost stories around and about this. I don't advocate that everybody die, I only say everybody finish your lives in purity and solitude and gentleness and realization of the truth and be not the cause of any further birth and turning of the black wheel of death.
** [[Jack Kerouac]], ''Some of the Dharma'', 1997

* I wouldn't have come had I had my say,&lt;br&gt;Nor would I leave Here if I had my way;&lt;br&gt;Ah, nothing better in this world could be&lt;br&gt;Than not to come, nor be, not go away.
** [[Omar Khayyam]], ''Rubaʼiyat of Omar Khayyam''

* Since Heaven increases nothing but our pain,&lt;br&gt;And gives naught that it takes not back again,&lt;br&gt;The unborn ne'er would hither come if they&lt;br&gt;But knew what we at Fortune's hands sustain.
** [[Omar Khayyam]], ''The Wisdom of Omar Khayyam''

* A man is born in sin, he enters this world by means of a crime, his existence is a crime – and procreation is the fall.
** [[Søren Kierkegaard]], ''The Last Years: The Kierkegaard Journals 1853-1855'', 1965

* I give thanks to God that no living being owes me existence.
** [[Søren Kierkegaard]], ''The Last Years: The Kierkegaard Journals 1853-1855'', 1965

* That is what Christianity is for – which straightaway bars the way to procreation. This means: stop!
** [[Søren Kierkegaard]], ''The Last Years: The Kierkegaard Journals 1853-1855'', 1965

* Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth — look at the dying man’s struggle at his last extremity, and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus could be intended for enjoyment.
** [[Søren Kierkegaard]], quoted in {{cite book |editor1-last=Rohde |editor1-first=Peter P. |title=Diary |date=1960 |publisher={{w|Philosophical Library}} |isbn=978-0-8065-0251-9 |page=25 |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=8ToNAQAAMAAJ}}

* Phasing out the human race by voluntarily ceasing to breed will allow Earth's biosphere to return to good health. Crowded conditions and resource shortages will improve as we become less dense.
** Les U. Knight, ''Environment and Natural Resources'', 2010

* First, the damp, dark depths and a lonely embryo in a warm interior. He does not yet know that he has been betrayed, that the sentence has been given. In it, all his future illusions and defeats. For now he is still in the garden, beyond consciousness, but they will pull him out and his excruciating screaming will not help. Nobody will take pity on him here because no one has received pity. First, only as a body, unconscious of itself, but unfortunately, it cannot remain that way. If only this body could see what awaits it! Perfidy lies in the fact that it can't! The body is not allowed to, because the sentence must be executed. The unspeakable horror of birth in which is already lying, curled up, the horror of life. This horror will then crawl out in all directions only to end up in a ditch, in a gutter, in a suburban railway car, on an icy sheet of a hospital bed or in warm sheets, among close ones, which are always too far away to tell them about themselves. If such is the beginning, what is to be expected at the end? Then, when they snatch him from inside, despite screams and pleas. When they wash the blood from their hands, like they would after murder. Wandering begins, to meet someone, to get somewhere. Both are impossible, but this impossibility can only be seen after a while, so again it goes back to a few illusions and comforts, which make the boredom and monotony of the road more pleasant. All these gusts, elation, despair of awakened senses. And this is just a short leash of desires and vents. And this is just a string of habits that will bind also many others after him. Dreams, illusions, fantasies, swarms of them, they run, to finally fall from exhaustion anywhere, feeling muck on the face, debris, sticky mud puddles, and finally a massive stench of dirt, exploding in the nostrils. 
** Grzegorz Kociuba, ''Ktoś'', 2003

* Oh, the greatest of torments&lt;br /&gt;Embrace towards the dawn&lt;br /&gt;The flower of death to bloom!&lt;br /&gt;Oh, the greatest of torments&lt;br /&gt;To sow the flower in the grave&lt;br /&gt;Bloom from your own womb&lt;br /&gt;Oh, the greatest of torments&lt;br /&gt;To reproduce the moans&lt;br /&gt;To add one more moan&lt;br /&gt;One, the special one&lt;br /&gt;What tugs the mother spirit&lt;br /&gt;By the harshest of torments&lt;br /&gt;Oh, the greatest of punishments&lt;br /&gt;To feed the old hunger for life&lt;br /&gt;By giving them our blood&lt;br /&gt;To a huge pile of death&lt;br /&gt;Fuming with eternal heat&lt;br /&gt;Throw more wood!&lt;br /&gt;Oh, these hours will come,&lt;br /&gt;When the mother's pain rises,&lt;br /&gt;It will face the guilt of life&lt;br /&gt;Like earth replete with births&lt;br /&gt;And will ask in a reckoning voice:&lt;br /&gt;Where's your fruit? Where's your child?&lt;br /&gt;Oh, this hour will come,&lt;br /&gt;What starts to beat in the twilights,&lt;br /&gt;Into rust-coloured bronze of centuries&lt;br /&gt;When these wombs close&lt;br /&gt;Like barren land&lt;br /&gt;Which give birth to their cross today.
** {{w|Maria Konopnicka}}, ''Botticelli'', 1901

* One more martyr! Go back from where you came from, child&lt;br /&gt;There are enough unfortunate ones in the world without you,&lt;br /&gt;Go back, close your eyes, do not look at the world,&lt;br /&gt;Push away your mother's breasts and do not demand life. 
** {{w|Józef Ignacy Kraszewski}}, ''Do Nowonarodzonego'', 1843

* You'll also find delight! – it's not worth being born for it,&lt;br /&gt;It's like a night star, it will be flashing and setting,&lt;br /&gt;And it will only rise so that the bloody suffering,&lt;br /&gt;Will tear your heart and soul even harder.&lt;br /&gt;Such delight isn't worth the name of delight.&lt;br /&gt;And this world won't give you other one.
** {{w|Józef Ignacy Kraszewski}}, ''Do Nowonarodzonego'', 1843

* Forgive me your birth in this strange land.&lt;br /&gt;I wanted your infant kisses, your fists clasped&lt;br /&gt;round my neck. I craved you, though you were born&lt;br /&gt;in the wake of my illness, my dim prognosis.&lt;br /&gt;I was selfish: I willed you this woe, this world.&lt;br /&gt;You inherited exile for my sake.
** {{w|Anya Krugovoy Silver}}, [https://www.christiancentury.org/artsculture/poems/psalm-137-noah ''Psalm 137 for Noah'']
** Description: a poem that the author wrote for her son before she died of cancer.

* I'll be frank. I've always felt that it's horrible to send a person into the world who didn't ask to be there. . . . Look around you. Of all the people you see, no one is here by his own wish. Of course, what I just said is the most banal truth there is. So banal, and so basic, that we've stopped seeing it and hearing it. . . . Everyone jabbers about human rights. What a joke! Your existence isn't founded on any right. They don't even allow you to end your life by your own choice, these defenders of human rights. . . . Look at them all! Look! At least half the people you are seeing are ugly. Being ugly–is that one of the human rights too? And do you know what it is to carry your ugliness with you through your whole life? With not a moment of relief? Or your sex? You never chose that. Or the color of your eyes? Or your era on earth? Or your country? Or your mother? None of the things that matter. The rights a person can have involve only pointless things, for which there is no reason to fight or to write great declarations! You're here as you are because I was weak. That was my fault. Forgive me.
**[[Milan Kundera]], ''The Festival of Insignificance''
** Description: the words of the character, Alain's imaginary mother.

* Not by violent means (murder, war and the like), but peacefully, let mankind disappear from our globe.
** Kurnig, ''Der Neo-Nihilismus. Anti-Militarismus. Sexualleben (Ende der Menschheit)'', p. 51

* I mourn the creatures you bring into the world who could not defend themselves when you created them, who otherwise would have protested out loud against your action. Since it all boils down to suffering and destruction. 
** Kurnig, ''Der Neo-Nihilismus. Anti-Militarismus. Sexualleben (Ende der Menschheit)'', p. 84

* Never to have procreated – this be your consolation when you die.
** Kurnig, ''Der Neo-Nihilismus. Anti-Militarismus. Sexualleben (Ende der Menschheit)'', p. 92

* I beget you (says such a nurturer) to have the pleasure of seeing what is within you and what is not. Doing this I am forcing upon you a lot of suffering and, at last, the nasty catastrophe of dying.
** Kurnig, ''Der Neo-Nihilismus. Anti-Militarismus. Sexualleben (Ende der Menschheit)'', p. 125

==L==

* Man hands on misery to man.&lt;br&gt;It deepens like a coastal shelf.&lt;br&gt;Get out as early as you can,&lt;br&gt;And don't have any kids yourself.
**[[Philip Larkin]], [https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48419/this-be-the-verse ''This Be The Verse''], 1971

* All of us are brought into existence, without our consent, and over the course of our lives, we are acquainted with a multitude of goods. Unfortunately, there is a limit to the amount of good each of us will have in our lives. Eventually, each of us will die and we will be permanently cut off from the prospect of any further good. Existence, viewed in this way, seems to be a cruel joke. 
** Marc Larock, [https://research-repository.st-andrews.ac.uk/bitstream/handle/10023/717/Marc%20Larock%20MPhil%20thesis.pdf?sequence=6&amp;isAllowed=y ''Possible preferences and the harm of existence''], 2009, p. 89

* Perhaps the day will never come when people realize that moral patients like us should cease to exist. It would be an unconscionable tragedy if we never do. I remain optimistic, however. Some very interesting arguments have recently been advanced in support of the conclusion that it is always worse for a person to live than not. I suspect that many more will follow. Until the day that individuals begin to take non-procreation seriously on a widespread scale, perhaps all we can do is follow Schopenhauer: &quot;The conviction that the world, and therefore man too, is something which really ought not to exist is in fact calculated to instil in us indulgence towards one another: for what can be expected of beings placed in such a situation as we are? From this point of view one might indeed consider that the appropriate form of address between man and man ought to be, not monsieur, sir, but fellow sufferer, compagnon de misères. However strange this may sound it corresponds to the nature of the case, makes us see other men in a true light and reminds us of what are the most necessary of all things: tolerance, patience, forbearance and charity, which each of us needs and which each of us therefore owes.&quot; (On the Sufferings of the World)
** Marc Larock, [https://research-repository.st-andrews.ac.uk/bitstream/handle/10023/717/Marc%20Larock%20MPhil%20thesis.pdf?sequence=6&amp;isAllowed=y ''Possible preferences and the harm of existence''], 2009, p. 138

* Birth seems to me so sorry and squalid an accident . . . if fathers and mothers took thought before bringing children into this misery of a world, only the monsters among them would dare to go through with it.
** [[T. E. Lawrence]], ''A Prince of Our Disorder: The Life of T. E. Lawrence'', 1998

* People aware of their own birth and death in this way are said not to be lacking. Not lacking in what? Not lacking in birth. They're acquainted with the births they've experienced through many lives and states of being in the past—so many that they're weary of it all, to the point where they don't want to take birth again. As for people who don't know, who don't have this awareness, they feel that they're lacking. They want to take birth again and so they keep on creating birth over and over again. As for those who do have awareness, they've had enough. They're smart enough. They won't give rise to any more births or states of being. Whatever is good, they keep within themselves, like putting a ripe mango seed in a showcase to look at, or peeling off its hard outer shell and then putting it in a storeroom. No one will be able to plant it again, and we can take it out for a look whenever we want.
**[[Ajahn Lee]], ''Inner Strength'' (1956), as translated from the Thai by Ṭhānissaro Bhikkhu

* When parents warn their children that the world is full of selfish people who want to take advantage of them and who will treat them unfairly, they do the same thing as warning them that there are other people in the world like the parents themselves. It is tantamount to informing them that, even with a world full of people like that, exploitative and unjust, and even with life being very difficult, the parents (who knew this) forced their children into being, even though it was avoidable.
** Thiago Lenharo di Santis, [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/12/09/second-chapter-of-because-i-love-you-you-will-not-be-born/ ''Porque te amo, não nascerás! Nascituri te salutant''], 2009, p. 146

* Considering that there is no guarantee that the child will be &quot;happy,&quot; that any effort made towards this goal can be in vain, that if the child did not exist then this problem would not exist, and that such problem arose because the child was forced to be born for the luxury of his parents—even though it was avoidable—from all this follows that a responsible and sensitive &quot;procreator&quot; (or rather a responsible pre-procreator) would stop right there, precisely at &quot;pre.&quot;
** Thiago Lenharo di Santis, [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2018/02/12/third-chapter-of-because-i-love-you-you-will-not-be-born/ ''Porque te amo, não nascerás! Nascituri te salutant''], 2009, p. 162–163

* The gamble, in this case, has put at risk another innocent, without power, knowledge and responsibility; the gamble was unnecessary and could have been avoided; if it had been avoided, it would not harm this innocent, and it was not avoided because we are talking about a compulsive gambler.
** Thiago Lenharo di Santis, [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2018/02/12/third-chapter-of-because-i-love-you-you-will-not-be-born/ ''Porque te amo, não nascerás! Nascituri te salutant''], 2009, p. 186–187

* The new being (the child) is unknown, and some possibilities available to them are terrible and devastating. One of these possibilities is a painful process of suicide in which the individual experiences, sometimes for years, various types of suffering, until they effectively get rid of everything. Notice that when we decide to have a child, we have no way of being sure that they will not go through this. The only thing parents need to do to expose their child to such a possibility is to have the child.
** Thiago Lenharo di Santis, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GKo0aMJhS8&amp;feature=youtu.be ''Porque te amo, NÃO NASCERÁS! Palestra 2 de 3''], 2013, 1:06 - 1:43

* If the extreme case of the suicide or the particularly pessimistic group is not considered by you to be a legitimate or real risk, then for the purposes of this presentation, these examples can be replaced by other cases. For example, the case of people who struggle with serious existential difficulties (like the ones commonly treated by psychoanalysts). Or the case of people with common health problems: we currently have a list of more than 7000 diseases that affect our physical and mental health, and which can drastically change the quality of our lives, even very suddenly. Not to mention, of course, the natural process of aging and fatigue to which we are all subjected. Or yet, the case of people who do not look for professional help, but in order to continue living or surviving they need to intoxicate themselves, change their state of consciousness with legal or illegal drugs, create psychosis, etc. Anyway, even for one who is not a tormented suicide, life does not seem to be so easy. Sometimes an individual needs years of therapy in order to become minimally stable. And what if the new being, our child, find themselves at some moment in such a condition? Notice then how a common decision, whose habit is considered noble, can bring an immense suffering. It is then that the true non-triviality of this decision begins to appear, as well as how important (or even necessary) it is to have a greater reflection and sensitivity in this subject. But always from the perspective of the new being, and not only from our perspective as prospective parents.
** Thiago Lenharo di Santis, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GKo0aMJhS8&amp;feature=youtu.be ''Porque te amo, NÃO NASCERÁS! Palestra 2 de 3''], 2013, 1:57 - 3:28

* Certainly there are innumerable risks in procreation. But the real problem is not simply that there are risks, but that these risks extend to the child, not being limited only to the father and mother. The decision, when taken in favor of procreation, exceeds the parties who have taken the decision, and thus brings implications to a necessarily innocent being, who did not actively participate in this process that would affect them. A parent who is truly committed to their child's well-being would not create these possibilities, nor put them in risky situations, nor bring about something that could be devastating to the child.
** Thiago Lenharo di Santis, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GKo0aMJhS8&amp;feature=youtu.be ''Porque te amo, NÃO NASCERÁS! Palestra 2 de 3''], 2013, 3:30 - 4:07

* If we procreate, we put the child in a situation of innumerable risks and without guarantees for their well-being. If we do not procreate, we do not put them at risk and at the same time we do not deprive them of anything, because they never came into being, they never came to exist, and thus they will never miss anything. 
** Thiago Lenharo di Santis, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GKo0aMJhS8&amp;feature=youtu.be ''Porque te amo, NÃO NASCERÁS! Palestra 2 de 3''], 2013, 6:10 - 6:28

* Being asked for what purpose he thought men were born, he laughingly replied: To realize how much better it were not to be born.
** [[Giacomo Leopardi]], [https://it.wikisource.org/wiki/Operette_morali/Detti_memorabili_di_Filippo_Ottonieri/Capitolo_primo ''Operette Morali, Remarkable sayings of Philip Ottonieri''], 1827
** Description: the words of the character, Philip Ottonieri.

* In travail man is born;&lt;br /&gt;His birth too oft the cause of death,&lt;br /&gt;And with his earliest breath&lt;br /&gt;He pain and torment feels: e'en from the first,&lt;br /&gt;His parents fondly strive&lt;br /&gt;To comfort him in his distress;&lt;br /&gt;And if he lives and grows,&lt;br /&gt;They struggle hard, as best they may,&lt;br /&gt;With pleasant words and deeds to cheer him up,&lt;br /&gt;And seek with kindly care,&lt;br /&gt;To strengthen him his cruel lot to bear.&lt;br /&gt;This is the best that they can do&lt;br /&gt;For the poor child, however fond and true.&lt;br /&gt;But wherefore give him life?&lt;br /&gt;Why bring him up at all,&lt;br /&gt;If be all?&lt;br /&gt;If life is nought but pain and care,&lt;br /&gt;Why, why should we the burden bear?
** [[Giacomo Leopardi]], [https://it.wikisource.org/wiki/Canti_(Leopardi_-_Donati)/XXIII._Canto_notturno_di_un_pastore_errante_dell%27Asia ''Night Song Of A Wandering Shepherd In Asia''], 1831

* Perhaps in every state beneath the sun,&lt;br /&gt;Or high, or low, in cradle or in stall,&lt;br /&gt;The day of birth is fatal to us all.
** [[Giacomo Leopardi]], [https://it.wikisource.org/wiki/Canti_(Leopardi_-_Donati)/XXIII._Canto_notturno_di_un_pastore_errante_dell%27Asia ''Night Song Of A Wandering Shepherd In Asia''], 1831

* It were more reasonable that you [Nature] made happiness a necessity; or this being impossible, it were better not to bring men into the world.
** [[Giacomo Leopardi]], &quot;Dialogue Between Nature and a Soul&quot;, ''[https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/52356 Essays and Dialogues]'' (1882), p. 37.

* Thus I reply to you [Nature]. I am well aware you did not make the world for the service of men. It were easier to believe that you made it expressly as a place of torment for them. But tell me: why am I here at all? Did I ask to come into the world? Or am I here unnaturally, contrary to your will? If however, you yourself have placed me here, without giving me the power of acceptance or refusal of this gift of life, ought you not as far as possible to try and make me happy, or at least preserve me from the evils and dangers, which render my sojourn a painful one? And what I say of myself, I say of the whole human race, and of every living creature.
** [[Giacomo Leopardi]], &quot;Dialogue Between Nature and an Icelander&quot;, ''[https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/52356 Essays and Dialogues]'' (1882), pp. 78–79

* As soon as the child is born, the mother who has just brought him into the world must console him, quiet his crying, and lighten the burden of the existence she has given him. And one of the principal duties of good parents in the childhood and early youth of their children is to comfort them, to encourage them to live, because sorrows and ills and passions are at that age much heavier than they are to those who through long experience, or simply because they have lived longer, are used to suffering. And in truth it is only fitting that the good father and the good mother, in trying to console their children, correct as best they can, and ease, the damage they have done by procreating them. Good God! Why then is man born? And why does he procreate? To console those he has given birth to for having been born? 
** [[Giacomo Leopardi]], trans. Kathleen Baldwin et al., ''Zibaldone'' (2013), [2607] &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0374296827}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Perhaps the greatest strike against philosophical pessimism is that its only theme is human suffering. This is the last item on the list of our species' obsessions and detracts from everything that matters to us, such as the Good, the Beautiful, and a Sparkling Clean Toilet Bowl. For the pessimist, everything considered in isolation from human suffering or any cognition that does not have as its motive the origins, nature, and elimination of human suffering is at base recreational, whether it takes the form of conceptual probing or physical action in the world—for example, delving into game theory or traveling in outer space, respectively. And by &quot;human suffering,&quot; the pessimist is not thinking of particular sufferings and their relief, but of suffering itself. Remedies may be discovered for certain diseases and sociopolitical barbarities may be amended. But these are only stopgaps. Human suffering will remain insoluble as long as human beings exist. The one truly effective solution for suffering is that spoken of in Zapffe's &quot;Last Messiah.&quot; It may not be a welcome solution for a stopgaps world, but it would forever put an end to suffering, should we ever care to do so. The pessimist's credo, or one of them, is that nonexistence never hurt anyone and existence hurts everyone. Although our selves may be illusory creations of consciousness, our pain is nonetheless real.
**[[Thomas Ligotti]], ''The Conspiracy against the Human Race: A Contrivance of Horror'', 2010, p. 54

* As their numbers tapered off, these dead-enders of our species could be the most privileged individuals in history and share with one another material comforts once held in trust only for the well-born or moneygetting classes of the world. Since personal economic gain would be passé as a motive for the new humanity, there would be only one defensible incitement to work: to see one another through to the finish, a project that would keep everyone busy and not just staring into space while they waited for the end. There might even be bright smiles exchanged among these selfless benefactors of those who would never be forced to exist. 
** [[Thomas Ligotti]], ''The Conspiracy against the Human Race: A Contrivance of Horror'', pp. 58–59

* Opinion: There are no praiseworthy incentives to reproduce. For pro-natalists, children are only a means to an end, and none of those ends is praiseworthy. They are the ends of people who already exist, a condition that automatically makes them prejudiced in favor of existence. Yet even though these people think that being alive is all right, they are not at a loss to think of reasons why in some cases it would be better not to have been. They can only hope that their children will not be one of those cases, for their sake as well as for the sake of their offspring. To have a praiseworthy incentive for bearing a child, one would first have to prove that child to be an end in itself, which no one can prove about anything, least of all about something that does not yet exist. You could argue, of course, that a child is an end in itself and is a good in itself. And you could go on arguing until the child ages to death or sickens to death or has a fatal vehicular misadventure. But you cannot argue that anyone comes to an end that is a good in itself. You can only accept that someday he or she will come to an end that is an end in itself, which, as people sometimes say, may be for the best.
** [[Thomas Ligotti]], ''The Conspiracy against the Human Race: A Contrivance of Horror''

* Despite the fact that neither anti- nor pronatalists can prove their positions, pro-natalists have to live with the possibility that they might be wrong. That is a heavy burden to carry, and a heavier burden to pass on to subsequent generations. Antinatalists don't have a similar burden. When the action is taken on their side and a child is not born, no harm is done. No one has to suffer and die.
**[[Thomas Ligotti]], [http://evilhat.blogspot.com/2011/09/interview-thomas-ligotti.html ''Interview: Thomas Ligotti''], 2011

* Personally, I'm afraid of suffering and afraid of dying. I'm also afraid of witnessing the suffering and death of those who are close to me. And no doubt I project these fears on those around me and those to come, which makes it impossible for me to understand why everyone isn't an antinatalist, just as I have to assume pronatalists can't understand why everyone isn't like them.
**[[Thomas Ligotti]], [http://evilhat.blogspot.com/2011/09/interview-thomas-ligotti.html ''Interview: Thomas Ligotti''], 2011

* It is good to be a cynic – it is better to be a contented cat – and it is best not to exist at all. Universal suicide is the most logical thing in the world – we reject it only because of our primitive cowardice and childish fear of the dark. If we were sensible we would seek death – the same blissful blank which we enjoyed before we existed.
** [[H. P. Lovecraft]], [http://www.hplovecraft.hu/print.php?type=etexts&amp;id=625&amp;lang=angol ''Nietzscheism and Realism''], 1921

* He teaches that people should refrain from marriage to oppose the prospering of the demiurge and creator through human procreation &quot;because matrimony,&quot; he says, &quot;is a source of prosperity for the demiurge, through human procreation.&quot;
** [[Epiphanius]], ''The Panarion of Ephiphanius of Salamis: Book I (sects 1-46)'', 1987
** Description: about Lucian of Sinope, disciple of Marcion of Sinope.

* What loss were ours, if we had know not birth?&lt;br /&gt;Let living me to longer life aspire,&lt;br /&gt;While fond affection binds their hearts to earth&lt;br /&gt;But who never hath tasted life's desire,&lt;br /&gt;Unborn, impersonal, can feel no dearth.
** [[Lucretius]], ''Treasures Of Lucretius: Selected Passages from the &quot;De Rerum Natura&quot;'', 1st century BC

==M==
* Not only does having a child really increase your carbon footprint, but we are living on an earth where there are a lot of organisms — human, non-human — that are in desperate need of care. And so, for me, if people want to care for children, for animals, whatever, there are cries for care everywhere. I'm asking us to reflect on this idea that we need to reproduce.
**[[Patricia MacCormack]], [https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/why-professor-climate-crisis-solution-rankling-twitter-155305526.html  Why this professor's climate-crisis solution is rankling Twitter: 'The worst thing you can do is have a child']. ''Yahoo!Life'', 2020.

* I had no children. I haven't transmitted the legacy of our misery to any creature.
** [[Joaquim Maria Machado de Assis]], ''The Posthumous Memoirs of Brás Cubas'', 1881
** Description: the words of the character, Brás Cubas.

* Redemption of the individual idea one represents, can be reached by not passing the core of this idea to the future. In other words: by not procreating. Who doesn't live on in his progeny, will be absolutely redeemed from existence.
** [[Philipp Mainländer]], [https://ia800608.us.archive.org/0/items/DiePhilosophieDerErlsung/DiePhilosophieDerErlsung.pdf ''Philosophie der Erlösung''], 1876

* And who is and should be a pessimist? He who is ''mature'' for death and is in no condition to love life, just as the optimist cannot turn away from it. If he does not realize that he will survive in his children, his procreation loses its ''horrible'' character; but if he realizes it, he will recoil in horror from it, just like Humboldt noticing that it is paying dearly for a few minutes of pleasure with the torments that ''another'' being must endure perhaps for eighty years, and consider the procreation of children as a ''crime'' and justly so.
** [[Philipp Mainländer]], Philosophie der Erlösung, Erster Band (2014), Metaphysik, § 21 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-1494963262}}&lt;/small&gt;

* The will must not only despise death, it must love it; for chastity is the love of death.
** [[Philipp Mainländer]], Philosophie der Erlösung, Erster Band (2014), Ethik, § 26 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-1494963262}}&lt;/small&gt;

* The man who has known clearly and distinctly that all life is suffering; that, whatever the way in which it may appear is essentially unhappy and full of pain (even in the ideal state), so that he, like the Christ Child on the arms of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sistine_Madonna Sistine Madonna], can only look into the world with eyes filled with horror, and who then contemplates the deep tranquility, the inexpressible happiness in aesthetic contemplation and, in contrast to the waking state, the happiness of dreamless sleep, whose elevation into eternity is only absolute death, - such a man has to be kindled by the advantage offered, - he cannot do otherwise. The thought of resuscitating in his unhappy children, that is, having to follow his way through the streets of existence, full of thorns and hard stones, without rest or repose, is, on the one hand, the most shocking and exasperating he can have; and, on the other hand, it must be the sweetest and most refreshing thought to be able to break the long course of the process, in which he was forced to walk by, with bloody feet, beaten, tormented and martyred, languishing in search of quietude. And once he is on the right track, the sexual instinct worries him less with every step, little by little becoming easier for his heart, until at last his inner being stands in the same joyfulness, blessed serenity and complete immobility as the true Christian saint. He feels in harmony with the movement of humanity from being into non-being, out of the agony of life into absolute death; he gladly enters into this movement of the whole, he acts eminently morally, and his reward is the undisturbed peace of heart, the &quot;calmness of the sea of the mind,&quot; the peace that is higher than all reason. And all this can take place without the belief in a unity in, above or beyond the world, without fear of a hell or hope for a kingdom of heaven after death, without any mystical intellectual view, without incomprehensible effect of grace, without contradiction with nature and our awareness of our own self: the only sources from which we can draw with certainty, - merely as a result of an unprejudiced, pure, cold realization of our reason, &quot;man's supreme power&quot;.
** [[Philipp Mainländer]], Philosophie der Erlösung, Erster Band (2014), Ethik, § 26 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-1494963262}}&lt;/small&gt;

* What is the ideal state? It will be the historical form that encompasses all mankind. However, we will not define this form in more detail, because it is quite a minor matter: the main thing is the citizen of the ideal state. He will be what individuals have been since the beginning of history: a thoroughly free man. He has completely outgrown the taskmaster of historical laws and forms and stands above the law, free from all political, economic and spiritual fetters. All external forms are fragmented: man is completely emancipated. All driving forces have gradually disappeared from the life of mankind: Power, property, fame, marriage; all emotional ties have gradually been torn: man is weary. His spirit now judges life correctly and his will is kindled by this judgment. Now the heart is filled with only one longing: to be blotted out forever from the great book of life. And the will reaches its goal: absolute death.
** [[Philipp Mainländer]], Philosophie der Erlösung, Erster Band (2014), Politik, § 47 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-1494963262}}&lt;/small&gt;

* The ideal state would be the ultimate utopia, a socialistic paradise to which all efforts of humanity will finally lead. It will be a world without war, hunger and any sufferings beside the sufferings of birth, age and death. All sicknesses will be cured, and people will have lifes of joy with just a very small amount of work, because work will almost completely be deported to machines. So let's take a closer look on the citizens of that ideal state. Are they happy? They would be, if they wouldn't suffer from horrible boredom and an everlasting emptiness in their lifes now. If they even manage to live such a pointless life until natural death, they will not be willing to force new people into this mess by procreating. They have no hope left, because they know that they already reached the ideal state. Therefore, they will come to the conclusion that human life has to end or maybe even that all life has to end, because they finally realized that there is nothing to accomplish for sentience and that it would be better if they never had existed. This will be the point where the movement of humanity (or even the movement of all life on earth) will be fulfilled and the universe would now have to move on without (human) life on earth, to reach its own final goal, which is exactly the same: Turning into nothingness.
** [[Philipp Mainländer]], [https://ia800608.us.archive.org/0/items/DiePhilosophieDerErlsung/DiePhilosophieDerErlsung.pdf ''Philosophie der Erlösung''], 1876

* If anyone condemns human marriage and has a horror of the procreation of living bodies, as Manichaeus and Priscillian have said, let him be anathema.
** Bishops, the resolution of Council of Braga I, ''The companion to the Catechism of the Catholic Church: a compendium of texts referred to in the Catechism of the Catholic Church'', 561

* The practical conclusions from this cosmo-soteriologicalsystem are extremely clear-cut, all of them amounting to a rigorous asceticism. &quot;Since the ruin of the Hyle is decreed by God, one should abstain from all ensouled things and eat only vegetables and whatever else is non-sentient, and abstain from marriage, the delights of love and the begetting of children, so that the divine Power may not through the succession of generations remain longer in the Hyle.&quot; However, one must not, in order to help effect the purification of things, commit suicide.
** {{w|Hans Jonas}}, ''The Gnostic Religion. The Message of the Alien God and the Beginnings of Christiantty'', 1958
** Description: about Manichaeism.

* The Manichean attitude to marriage was entirely negative as the act of procreation prolongs the imprisonment of Soul, which would now be further diversified into matter.
** Iain Gardner &amp; Samuel N. C. Lieu, ''Manichaean Texts from the Roman Empire'', 2004

* None were admitted to baptism, or the Eucharist, unless they had taken an oath against having any children.
** {{w|Nathaniel Lardner}}, John Hogg, ''The Historie of the Heretics of the two First Centuries After Christ'', 1780
** Description: about Marcionites.

* Especially clear is the purpose of obstructing in the prohibition of sexual intercourse and marriage: &quot;Not wishing to help replenish the world made by the Demiurge, the Marcionites decreed abstention from matrimony, defying their creator and hastening to the Good One who has called them and who, they say, is God in a different sense: wherefore, wishing to leave nothing of their own down here, they turn abstemious not from a moral principle but from hostility to their maker and unwillingness to use his creation&quot; (Clem. Alex. he. cit.). Here the pollution by the flesh and its lust, so widespread a theme in this age, is not even mentioned; instead (though not to its exclusion: cf. Tertullian, op. cit. I. 19, where marriage is called a &quot;filthiness&quot; or &quot;obscenity&quot; [spurcitiae]) it is the aspect of reproduction which disqualifies sexuality that very aspect which in the eyes of the Church alone justifies it as its purpose under nature's dispensation. Marcion here voices a genuine and typical gnostic argument, whose fullest elaboration we shall meet in Mani: that the reproductive scheme is an ingenious archontic device for the indefinite retention of souls in the world. Thus Marcion's asceticism, unlike that of the Essenes or later of Christian monasticism, was not conceived to further the sanctification of human existence, but was essentially negative in conception and part of the gnostic revolt against the cosmos. 
** {{w|Hans Jonas}}, ''The Gnostic Religion. The Message of the Alien God and the Beginnings of Christiantty'', 1958

* In Marcion's view, all procreation only prolonged suffering as the new souls thus created were captured in a material prison.
** Piotr Ashwin-Siejkowski, ''Clement of Alexandria: A Project of Christian Perfection'', 2008

* God created only coarse beings, full of the germs of disease, who, after a few years of bestial enjoyment, grow old and infirm, with all the ugliness and all the want of power of human decrepitude. He seems to have made them only in order that they may reproduce their species in an ignoble manner and then die like ephemeral insects. I said reproduce their species in an ignoble manner and I adhere to that expression. What is there as a matter of fact more ignoble and more repugnant than that act of reproduction of living beings, against which all delicate minds always have revolted and always will revolt?
** [[Guy de Maupassant]], [http://www.classicshorts.com/stories/UselessBeauty.html ''Useless beauty''], 1890
** Description: the words of the character, Roger de Salins.

*&quot;What a hell! All her youth, all her beauty, every hope of success, every poetical ideal of a brilliant life sacrificed to that abominable law of reproduction which turns the normal woman into a mere machine for bringing children into the world.&quot;

&quot;What would you have? It is only Nature!&quot;

&quot;Yes, but I say that Nature is our enemy, that we must always fight against Nature, for she is continually bringing us back to an animal state. You may be sure that God has not put anything on this earth that is clean, pretty, elegant or accessory to our ideal; the human brain has done it. It is man who has introduced a little grace, beauty, unknown charm and mystery into creation by singing about it, interpreting it, by admiring it as a poet, idealizing it as an artist and by explaining it through science, doubtless making mistakes, but finding ingenious reasons, hidden grace and beauty, unknown charm and mystery in the various phenomena of Nature.&quot;
** [[Guy de Maupassant]], [http://www.classicshorts.com/stories/UselessBeauty.html ''Useless beauty''], 1890
** Description: the words of the character, Roger de Salins.

* But what if, as the first truly compassionate philosophical ethicist, it would then attempt to convince us that it was high time to peacefully terminate the ugly biological bootstrap-phase on this planet? 
** {{w|Thomas Metzinger}}, [https://www.edge.org/conversation/thomas_metzinger-benevolent-artificial-anti-natalism-baan ''Benevolent Artificial Anti-Natalism (BAAN)''], 2017
** Description: about artificial intelligence.

* Death is humiliation, because it tears us away from words, the sounds of music, configurations of line and colour, so from all that of which our anti-natural freedom manifests, and it gives us to the yoke of necessity, it sends us back to the realm of inertia, not culpable decay and not culpable birth.
** [[Czeslaw Milosz]], ''Widzenia nad Zatoką San Francisco'', 1969

* To not be, to not suffer&lt;br /&gt;To not inflict pain.&lt;br /&gt;Undo it all&lt;br /&gt;One existence,&lt;br /&gt;That neither tidings&lt;br /&gt; Nor souvenir&lt;br /&gt;Would stay after me.
** [[Czeslaw Milosz]], ''Nic'', 1976

* I tell myself: reluctance to think to the end&lt;br /&gt;Is lifesaving for the living. Could lucid consciousness&lt;br /&gt;Bear everything that in every minute,&lt;br /&gt;Simultaneously, occurs on the earth?&lt;br /&gt;Not to harm. Stop eating fish and meat.&lt;br /&gt;Let oneself be castrated, like Tiny, a cat innocent&lt;br /&gt;Of the drownings of kittens every day in our city.&lt;br /&gt;The Cathari were right: Avoid the sin of conception&lt;br /&gt;(For either you kill your seed and will be tormented by conscience&lt;br /&gt;Or you will be responsible for a life of pain).
** [[Czeslaw Milosz]], ''Spider'', 1991

* The two Taoists reminded Saihung that the critical thing in life was to die a spiritual death, to merge with the Void. In order to do so, one had to be free of the cycle of reincarnation. This meant absolutely no earthly ties. The important point was that having children automatically tied one to the circle of reincarnation. How could it be otherwise? By passing on one's metaphysical and physical genetics, one perpetuated one's earthly karma. This was why the sages had no biological children.
**{{w|Deng Ming-Dao}}, ''Seven Bamboo Tablets of the Cloudy Satchel'', 1987

* Programmed by nature and socialized by the collective, which demands conformity, we are required to play the &quot;game&quot; of life. But as one of Beckett's characters puts it, &quot;why this farce day after day?&quot; Where is all this leading to?
** Ramesh Mishra (under the pseudonym Ken Coates), ''Anti-Natalism: Rejectionist Philosophy from Buddhism to Benatar'', 2014

* Procreation imposes existence on beings who have not chosen to be born. It amounts to a form of enslavement or conscription which is an immoral act on two counts: violating the autonomy of a potential being, and exposing them to pain and suffering.
** Ramesh Mishra (under the pseudonym Ken Coates), ''Anti-Natalism: Rejectionist Philosophy from Buddhism to Benatar'', 2014

* There is no place to go, there is no reason to pass the baton forward and hope that a future new generation will achieve some shred of happiness that should have been the right of all who have lived. Repeating the famous phrase of Julius Caesar: I came, I saw, I conquered; there is nothing noteworthy for me in this universe, except its vast indifference, and the desire I have to struggle against its aims. I have some hope in myself, and in non-existence (if it is still possible to speak of hope!) Besides that, I do not wish to have anything to do with this despicable existence.
** Rafael Tages Melo, [https://archive.org/details/aultimafilosofia_20191026 A Última Filosofia: Um Ensaio sobre o Antinatalismo], 2011

* Parents generally cannot cope with the emptiness of existence; they cannot embrace the fact that life is a series of motivations related to survival, avoiding boredom, avoiding discomfort, etc. This basically involves reaching goals, and then becoming dissatisfied, pursuing other goals, and becoming dissatisfied again, and so on. Working, entertaining oneself, seeking things to kill time, dealing with the future, with illnesses, accumulating possessions and trifling occupations. And all this for what purpose? To become rich, to become someone important? Of course, people kill and die for these things, but then what? What does one do with these things in this brief time? Our intention here is not only to demotivate, but to truly inquire about why people all try to accumulate things, to be better than others, even committing crimes, eliminating the lives of others, if in a certain sense they are all united, they are all part of the same game, they are distant cousins, evolutionarily, and in the end, everyone is condemned to the same outcome, that is, pure and simple dissolution.
** Rafael Tages Melo, [https://archive.org/details/aultimafilosofia_20191026 A Última Filosofia: Um Ensaio sobre o Antinatalismo], 2011

==N==

* We may ask ourselves whether we have a moral right to create people and thus condemn them to life and death without their consent.
** Martin Neuffer, ''Nein zum Leben – Ein Essay''

==O==

* Not having children derives not from dislike, but from love too great to bring them into this world, too limited, too vain, too cruel.
** [[Michel Onfray]], ''Journal hedoniste: Tome 2, Les Vertus de la foudre'', 1998

* Should we feed this farce even more? Enrich this cruel theater, as if we were blind to the events unfolding on it? To want to be blind, to say it is innocent, to not think and obey the power of libido, all this to give us, in this way, the illusion of an effective fight against the constantly triumphant death?
** [[Michel Onfray]], ''Journal hedoniste: Tome 2, Les Vertus de la foudre'', 1998

* By hedonistic logic, we ought to avoid imposing anything, existence included, onto anyone who hasn't asked for it.
** [[Michel Onfray]], ''Theorie du corps amoureux'', 2000

* Is not the cruel will of adults, by causing birth, condemning children to work, discipline, obedience, submission, frustration in a nursery, primary school, middle school, high school, university or army, and then in a factory, in a workshop, in a company or in an office? Should we call love transmitting this vileness to the body from our own body?
** [[Michel Onfray]], ''Theorie du corps amoureux'', 2000

* Only someone who loves children the most can see them beyond the tip of their own nose and wonder about the consequences of signing death sentences on not yet existing beings.
** [[Michel Onfray]], ''Theorie du corps amoureux'', 2000

* Those childless by choice love children as much, if not more, than their fertile breeders. When asked why he does not have children, [[Thales of Miletus|Thales]] replied, &quot;because of my concern for children.&quot;
** [[Michel Onfray]], ''Théorie du corps amoureux'', 2000

* Why make children? In the name of what? To achieve what? What legitimizes pulling a being out of nothingness, disturbing its peace, only so that it would have to take a short walk on this planet, leading back to the nothingness from which it was pulled out?
** [[Michel Onfray]], ''La puissance d'exister. Manifeste hedoniste'', 2006

==P==
* Because of the present crisis, I think it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you committed to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you free of commitment? Do not look for a wife.
** [[Paul of Tarsus]], [[1 Corinthians]] 7:26 

* The perpetuation of suffering by producing children is the greatest crime.
** Valerii Pereleshin, ''Valerii Pereleshin: The Life of a Silkworm'', 2015

* The principle of caution, respecting the gravity of human suffering, weighs against procreating to the extent that it is unpredictable whether the person created will have a good life.
** Sarah Perry, ''Every Cradle Is a Grave: Rethinking the Ethics of Birth and Suicide'', 2014, p. 167

* Most people think it's morally acceptable to have babies. Most people think this despite the fact that the babies will certainly suffer a great deal during their lifetimes and may suffer an exceptional amount. Pronatalists generally want to point out the good things in life—the pleasant effects of puppies and sunsets—and to balance them against life's harms. But bringing a child into the world necessarily entails harming a stranger (for one doesn't know the values of one's child prior to procreation). It is no different from dosing a stranger with ecstasy for no reason, except that the harms of life massively exceed the harms of ecstasy, and the pleasure of life, for many, is much less.
** Sarah Perry, ''Every Cradle Is a Grave: Rethinking the Ethics of Birth and Suicide'', 2014, p. 194

* Whatever the case, it would have been better not to be born.
** [[Fernando Pessoa]], [http://arquivopessoa.net/textos/827 ''Passagem Das Horas''], 1916

* The most notorious of the groups that Epiphanius attacks were known by a variety of names, including the &quot;Phibionites&quot;. According to Epiphanius our sole source of information about the group these Gnostic believers engaged in nocturnal sex rituals that involved indiscriminate sex, coitus interruptus, and the consumption of semen and menstrual blood, all in a bizarre act of Christian worship (a sacred eucharist). Moreover, they allegedly possessed apostolic books that supported their outrageous rituals, including one known as the :Greater Questions of Mary: (Panarion 26.8). Epiphanius claims to have had access to this and the other Phibionite books. But this one he actually quotes. If the quotation does indeed go back to an actual document, as opposed to Epiphanius's fertile imagination, it is no wonder that the book never survived, as it recounts an episode in which Jesus himself engages in a sex act before a very bewildered Mary Magdalene. For the Gnostic Phibionites, this text, and their corresponding rituals, related to their doctrinal views that humans represent divine sparks entrapped in human bodies, which need to escape. Human procreation perpetuates this state of entrapment, by providing an endless supply of bodies.
** {{w|Bart D. Ehrman}}, Zlatko Plese, ''The Apocryphal Gospels: Texts and Translations'', 2011

* I think human consciousness, is a tragic misstep in evolution. We became too self-aware, nature created an aspect of nature separate from itself, we are creatures that should not exist by natural law. We are things that labor under the illusion of having a self, an accretion of sensory, experience and feeling, programmed with total assurance that we are each somebody, when in fact everybody is nobody. Maybe the honorable thing for our species to do is deny our programming, stop reproducing, walk hand in hand into extinction, one last midnight, brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal.
** {{w|Nic Pizzolatto}}, ''True Detective: The Long Bright Dark'', 2014
** Description: the words of the character, Rustin Cohle.

* The hubris it must take to yank a soul out of nonexistence, into this, meat. And to force a life into this, thresher.
** {{w|Nic Pizzolatto}}, ''True Detective: Seeing Things'', 2014
** Description: the words of the character, Rustin Cohle.

* The human body, as all other flesh, according to the Priscillianistic doctrine, came from the devil. . . . The same principles led them to disapprove of marriage, and of the procreation of children; and to forbid the eating of flesh.
** {{w|Johann Lorenz von Mosheim}}, ''Institutes of ecclesiastical history, ancient and modern: much corrected, enlarged and improved, from the primary authorities, Tome 1'', 1832

* From the moment an infant is tossed into this chamber of horrors, we can see, if we look closely, his horror and despair. The child cries incessantly, and is brutally trained to shut up and face its horrible fate. As the child grows into teenhood and reaches the age of reason, awareness (and anger) of his situation grows. It is usually countered by the criminal parents' inevitable distancing from the child, now declaring, &quot;I owe you nothing. I cannot field your anger.&quot; The anger, of course, is a perfectly natural and healthy response to the awareness that one has been tricked in the most monstrous way. The rest of its life is spent maintaining as much distance as possible from the terror of life, through meaningless activity and numbing addictive substances. &quot;From the time a person leaves its mother's womb, its every effort is directed toward building, maintaining and withdrawing into artificial wombs, various sorts of substitute protective devices or shells&quot;. Absurdity stacked upon absurdity, this creature, hiding from his own shadow, wanting more than anything to crawl back into the oblivion of the mother, is successfully duped into declaring that he loves life!
** Hermies Purrbuckets, [https://www.churchofeuthanasia.org/e-sermons/mansubgd.html ''Man's subliminal God''], 2001
** Description: the quotation on &quot;artificial wombs&quot; is from the book ''Secret Weapons for Quiet Wars''.

==R==

* A woman&lt;br /&gt;Parts of the body held together by joints&lt;br /&gt;Guts reinforced with hips&lt;br /&gt;Heart breathing through nipples&lt;br /&gt;A woman&lt;br /&gt;shreds of meat formed into sculptures&lt;br /&gt;Smooth and moist at the ends&lt;br /&gt;Sculptures that are soft and smelly&lt;br /&gt;A woman&lt;br /&gt;Belly and thighs separated by crotch&lt;br /&gt;Crotch with a breath of agony&lt;br /&gt;A woman is death&lt;br /&gt;Long and painful
** Kazimierz Ratoń, ''Poezje'', 2004, s. 199

* Pus is constantly leaking from the rotting brain&lt;br /&gt;The worms reproduce in thick streams along the body&lt;br /&gt;They enter the heart and lower parts of the body&lt;br /&gt;They suck the blood and fat covering the bones&lt;br /&gt;Terrible merciless worms bite genitals&lt;br /&gt;They run to a tightened throat and eyes&lt;br /&gt;They want to destroy you&lt;br /&gt;Crush the eyeballs and close the breath&lt;br /&gt;So that you will wheeze and splutter in convulsion&lt;br /&gt;So that you will not have time for anger and hatred&lt;br /&gt;So that you will not be able to defend yourself&lt;br /&gt;You will only whine quieter and quieter&lt;br /&gt;Until there is total asphyxiation&lt;br /&gt;Then they will be able to leave&lt;br /&gt;Tear another body&lt;br /&gt;Feed on pus from another brain&lt;br /&gt;You gave them life&lt;br /&gt;It is your rotting brain that has fathered them
** Kazimierz Ratoń, ''Poezje'', 2004, s. 212

* Propagating life is propagating terror.
** Mario Andrea Rigoni, ''Variazioni sull'impossibile'', 1993

* Of my conception I know only what you know of yours. It occurred in darkness and I was unconsenting. I (and that slenderest word is too gross for the rare thing I was then) walked forever through reachless oblivion, in the mood of one smelling night-blooming flowers, and suddenly—My ravishers left their traces in me, male and female, and over the months I rounded, grew heavy, until the scandal could no longer be concealed and oblivion expelled me. But this I have in common with all my kind. By some bleak alchemy what had been mere unbeing becomes death when life is mingled with it. So they seal the door against our returning.
**[[Marilynne Robinson]], ''Housekeeping'', 1980
** Description: the words of the character, Ruth.

* Adoption offers an important moral alternative to procreation, which has been widely ignored or quickly dismissed in the procreation literature. It should be considered by reasonable and moral people who desire to experience the goods of a parent-child relationship while being concerned about the potential harms of procreation.
** Tina Rulli, ''The Ethics of Procreation and Adoption'', 2016

==S==

* If ... we now contemplate the bustle and turmoil of life, we see everyone concerned with its cares and troubles, exerting all his strength to satisfy infinite needs and to ward off suffering in many forms, yet without daring to hope for anything else in place of it except just the preservation of this tormented existence for a short span of time. In between, however, we see in the midst of the tumult the glances of two lovers meet longingly: yet why so secretly, nervously, and furtively? Because these lovers are the traitors who secretly strive to perpetuate the whole trouble and toil that would otherwise rapidly come to an end. Such an end they try to frustrate, as others like them have frustrated it previously.
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], trans. E. F. J. Payne, ''The World as Will and Representation, Vol. 2'' (1966), CHAPTER XLIV - The Metaphysics of Sexual Love &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|9780486217628}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Life is then given out as a gift, whereas it is evident that anyone would have declined it with thanks, had he looked at it and tested it beforehand; just as Lessing admired the understanding of his son. Because this son had absolutely declined to come into the world, he had to be dragged forcibly into life by means of forceps; but hardly was he in it, when he again hurried away from it. On the other hand, it is well said that life should be, from one end to the other, only a lesson, to which, however, anyone could reply: “For this reason, I wish I had been left in the peace of the all-sufficient nothing, where I should have had no need either of lessons or of anything else.” But if it were added that one day he was to give an account of every hour of his life, he would rather be justified in first himself asking for an account as to why he was taken away from that peace and quiet and put into a position so precarious, obscure, anxious, and painful. To this, then, false fundamental views lead. Far from bearing the character of a gift, human existence has entirely the character of a contracted debt. The calling in of this debt appears in the shape of the urgent needs, tormenting desires, and endless misery brought about through that existence. As a rule, the whole lifetime is used for paying off this debt, yet in this way only the interest is cleared off. Repayment of the capital takes place through death. And when was this debt contracted? At the begetting.
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], trans. E. F. J. Payne, ''The World as Will and Representation, Vol. 2'' (1966), CHAPTER XLVI - On the Vanity and Suffering of Life &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|9780486217628}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Some of the church fathers have taught that even marital cohabitation should only be allowed when it occurs merely for the sake of the procreation of children. . . . Clemens (Strom, iii. c. 3) attributes this view to the Pythagoreans. This is, however, strictly speaking, incorrect. For if the coitus be no longer desired for its own sake, the negation of the Will-to-Live has already appeared, and the propagation of the human race is then superfluous and senseless, inasmuch as its purpose is already attained. Besides, without any subjective passion, without lust and physical pressure, with sheer deliberation, and the cold blooded purpose to place a human being in the world merely in order that he should be there this would be such a very questionable moral action that few would take it upon themselves; one might even say of it indeed that it stood in the same relation to generation from the mere sexual impulse as a cold-blooded deliberate murder does to a death-stroke given in anger.
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], ''Contributions to the Doctrine of the Affirmation and Negation of the Will-to-live'', 1851

* How shall a man be proud, when his conception is a crime, his birth a penalty, his life a labour, and death a necessity!
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], ''Parerga und paralipomena'', 1851

* The woman's share in procreation is more guiltless than the man's; for he bestows upon the child its will, which is the first sin, and therefore the root of all evil; the woman, on the contrary, bestows its intellect, which is the pathway to redemption.
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], ''Parerga und paralipomena'', 1851

* If children were brought into the world by an act of pure reason alone, would the human race continue to exist? Would not a man rather have so much compassion with the coming generation as to spare it the burden of existence, or at any rate not take it upon himself to impose that burden upon it in cold blood?
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], [https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/On_the_Sufferings_of_the_World ''On the Sufferings of the World''], 1862

* The End of the World, here's salvation. Preparing the end, here's the work of the sage and the supreme purpose of ascetic existences. The apostle of charity, with effort, alms, consolations and miracles, succeeds with great difficulty to save a family from death, now vowed to a long agony thanks to his benefits. The ascetic on the other hand, saves entire generations not from death, but from life.
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], [https://fr.wikisource.org/wiki/Un_Bouddhiste_contemporain_en_Allemagne,_Arthur_Schopenhauer ''Un Bouddhiste contemporain en Allemagne – Arthur Schopenhauer''], 1870

* I have no conscience, none, but I would not like to bring a soul into this world. When it sinned and when it suffered something like a dead hand would fall on me – &quot;You did it, you, for your own pleasure you created this thing! See your work!&quot;
** [[Olive Schreiner]], [http://www.gutenberg.org/files/1441/1441-h/1441-h.htm ''The Story of an African Farm'']
** Description: the words of the character, Lyndall.

* Unfortunately, in our real world, large numbers of children grow up to be victims, perpetrators, or bystanders. Very few children actually grow up to make the world a better place. Personally, I don't feel that creating new victims, perpetrators, and bystanders is the great social ooh-and-aah that it is made out to be. I do understand that people want to have children for reasons personal to their own needs, not necessarily for the child or for the world, and perhaps that's reason enough, but I don't know why.
**[[Sarah Schulman]], ''The Gentrification of the Mind: Witness to a Lost Imagination'', 2012

* Do you want to know how it is not a great benefit to give life like this? You could have exposed me; clearly it was an injustice to have begat me!
** [[Lucius Annaeus Seneca]], ''De Beneficis'', in: Liz Gloyn, ''The Ethics of the Family in Seneca'', 2017, 59 BC 

* Nothing is so deceptive, nothing is so treacherous as human life; by Hercules, were it not given to men before they could form an opinion, no one would take it. Not to be born, therefore, is the happiest lot of all.
** [[Lucius Annaeus Seneca]], [https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Of_Consolation:_To_Marcia ''Consolation to Marcia''], 40 BC

* Thus, four factors make the appeal to hypothetical consent problematic: (1) the fact that great harm is not at stake if no action is taken; (2) but if action is taken, the harms suffered may be very severe; (3) the imposed condition cannot be escaped without high costs; and (4) the hypothetical consent procedure is not based on features of the individual who will bear the imposed condition. 
** {{w|Seana Shiffrin}}, [https://jwcwolf.public.iastate.edu/Papers/Shiffrin%20Wrongful%20life%20procreative%20responsibility%20and%20the%20significance%20of%20harm.pdf ''Wrongful Life, Procreative Responsibility, and the Significance of Harm''], 1999

* However one need not believe that coming into existence is always an overall harm in order to favour an anti-natal perspective; one need only believe that it is morally problematic to inflict serious, preventable harms upon others without their consent.
** Asheel Singh, [https://ujcontent.uj.ac.za/vital/access/services/Download/uj:7429/CONTENT1?view=true ''Assessing anti-natalism: a philosophical examination of the morality of procreation''], 2012

* &quot;Your right to swing your arms ends just where the other man's nose begins.&quot; (Zechariah Chafee)
** Martin Smith, [https://theselfishparent.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/nbnc4_4.pdf ''No Baby No Cry: Christian Antinatalism''], p. 6

* If you are having difficulty making the connection between real world outcomes and your desire to have children, try looking at the world in a new way. When there are job losses at work, imagine that happening to the child you are so set on having. The ugly divorce is someone's child, both of them. The newscaster announcing a rape, that's someone's baby, both the perpetrator and the victim. The car accident you just drove past, the toilet cleaner on minimum wage, the man in the hospital ward dying of cancer, the casket being lowered into the ground. If I were to provide an exhaustive list it would fill the whole book, but I would rather you made your own - play this game for a week and it will break your rose tinted spectacles – it's not happy but it is honest.
** Martin Smith, [https://theselfishparent.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/nbnc4_4.pdf ''No Baby No Cry: Christian Antinatalism''], p. 12

* By creating a life we subject that person to the harms of life. People will be hurt, some very badly. It seems to me that the only reason for creating lives is to fulfil psychological (and sometimes material) needs of the parents (and to some degree other relatives). It would take libraries to list the gamut of possible harms, ranging from genetic recombination errors at conception, to the last gasp of the dying. We deploy an array of mental gymnastics to avoid the implications of this truth, yet deep down we all know it at some level. Contrary to the norms of our society the arrival of a child should be a time for sober reflection not cause for celebration. I will not congratulate people on gambling someone else's welfare in the hopes of improving their own lives. I suspect most people reading this will hold that their own needs are a good enough reason to have children. If that is you, then I ask you at least acknowledge the self centred nature of the choice, and perhaps when your children are old enough you can explain why you took a flutter on life's roulette wheel.
** Martin Smith, [https://theselfishparent.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/nbnc4_4.pdf ''No Baby No Cry: Christian Antinatalism''], p. 19

* If you hold eternal damnation, then having children is a very grave business indeed. You are gambling with infinite stakes.
** Martin Smith, [https://theselfishparent.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/nbnc4_4.pdf ''No Baby No Cry: Christian Antinatalism''], p. 31
** Description: eternal damnation in the main currents of Christianity is the punishment for sinners consisting of going to hell and suffering torments forever.

* I've never regretted not having children. My mindset in that regard has been constant. I objected to being born, and I refuse to impose life on someone else.
** [[Robert Smith (musician)|Robert Smith]], [https://www.theguardian.com/music/2011/sep/10/robert-smith-the-cure-bestival ''The Cure's Robert Smith: 'I'm uncomfortable with politicised musicians'''], 2011

*  Not to be born at all&lt;br /&gt;Is best, far best that can befall,&lt;br /&gt;Next best, when born, with least delay&lt;br /&gt;To trace the backward way.&lt;br /&gt;For when youth passes with its giddy train,&lt;br /&gt;Troubles on troubles follow, toils on toils,&lt;br /&gt;Pain, pain for ever pain;&lt;br /&gt;And none escapes life's coils.&lt;br /&gt;Envy, sedition, strife,&lt;br /&gt;Carnage and war, make up the tale of life.&lt;br /&gt;Last comes the worst and most abhorred stage&lt;br /&gt;Of unregarded age,&lt;br /&gt;Joyless, companionless and slow,&lt;br /&gt;Of woes the crowning woe.
** [[Sophocles]], [https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Oedipus_at_Colonus_(Storr) ''Oedipus at Colonus''], 406 BC
** Description: the words of the collective character, the chorus.

* &quot;Be fruitful and multiply&quot; is a recommendation that fits more into the God of rabbits than to God of humans. No offense to rabbits, of course.
** Giovanni Soriano, ''Finche c'e vita non c'e speranza'', 2010

* Creation is an act far more authoritarian than killing; and just as one should not take someone else's life, one should also not impose life on someone else.
** Giovanni Soriano, ''Malomondo. In lode della stupidita'', 2013

* Pain, harm, suffering, uncertainty, and death are inseparable from human life. May one impose such evils upon an innocent, who has not consented to be placed in a situation that carries any kind of risk? Is procreation really as &quot;straightforward&quot; and &quot;morally innocent&quot; an activity as custom typically makes it out to be? 
** Pikesh Srivastava, ''Glimpses of Truth: Morality, Karma, Procreation'', 2017, p. 332

*&quot;Life is beautiful. I love it. So what if it comes with harms? Learn to live life to the fullest and don't wallow in the bad parts. The best parts of life outweigh the bad.&quot; Allow me to draw a parallel. &quot;Smoking cigarettes is enjoyable. I love it. So what if it comes with harms? Win some, lose some. The pleasure far outweighs the harm it causes.&quot; Though one is entitled to hold such views, it does nothing to alter the truth: smoking is injurious to health; all in all, a harmful habit best avoided. You may enjoy smoking, and think it worth all the risks that accompany it, but do you have a right to force such a habit on another? In creating a child, one is doing just that – forcing life on another, without their consent, unmindful of the harms they are subjecting them to. And let the reader not forget – the risks that accompany smoking are a picnic compared to the countless harms life exposes us to.
** Pikesh Srivastava, ''Glimpses of Truth: Morality, Karma, Procreation'', 2017, pp. 369–370

* An ancient legend recounts how King Midas hunted long in the forest for the wise Silenus, companion of Dionysos, but failed to catch him. When Silenus has finally fallen into his hands, the King asks what the best and most excellent thing for human beings. Stiff and unmoving, the daemon remains silent until, forced by the King to speak, he finally breaks out in shrill laughter and says: &quot;wretched, ephemeral race, children of chance and tribulation, why do you force me to tell you the very thing which it would be most profitable for you not to hear? The very best thing is utterly beyond your reach: not to have been born, not to be, to be nothing. However, the second best thing for you is: to die soon&quot;.
** [[Friedrich Nietzsche]], ''The Birth of Tragedy'', 1872

* I am thirty-six years old.&lt;br /&gt;What am I waiting for?&lt;br /&gt;Probably for death.&lt;br /&gt;My past is as intense&lt;br /&gt;as my future empty and orphaned.&lt;br /&gt;And I will soon be a corpse –&lt;br /&gt;I am a madman; I have been working on it&lt;br /&gt;since I was dragged out of&lt;br /&gt;my mother.&lt;br /&gt;I know about it for a long time&lt;br /&gt;and I want this, unfortunately, I think so.&lt;br /&gt;Because I already have enough. I say –&lt;br /&gt;you know.&lt;br /&gt;The earth will deliver&lt;br /&gt;those who had doubts about the existence&lt;br /&gt;who never gave birth and never killed.
** Domokos Szilágyi, [http://mek.oszk.hu/02900/02916/02916.pdf ''1974'']

* Creating new persons exposes them to non-trivial harms. While in other cases harming in this non-trivial fashion might be justified if it is in the service of saving persons from even greater harms, procreators cannot appeal to this possibility. Procreation cannot sensibly be viewed as the act of saving non-existing persons from (greater) harm. Rather, on Shiffrin’s account, procreation can be viewed, at best, as the morally problematic exposure to non-trivial harms in order to offer uninvited and non-essential benefits (that is, &quot;pure benefits&quot;) to the person created; at worst, it can be viewed as the morally impermissible imposition of serious, protracted harms upon a patient that are not toward the alleviation of greater harms. Further, and most crucially, children do not have the opportunity to offer their consent to encounter the harms of existence in order to receive the benefits, which entails that it is wrong to procreate.
** Asheel Singh, [https://www.researchgate.net/publication/328847972_The_Hypothetical_Consent_Objection_to_Anti-Natalism The Hypothetical Consent Objection to Anti-Natalism], 2018

* Procreators arguably cannot rely on subjective hypothetical consent when deciding on the permissibility of bringing people into existence. Non-existers cannot be said to have preferences—let alone unique, individual preferences! Shiffrin consistently maintains that the unique features of the individual being created cannot be taken into account by parents. It therefore appears as though she thinks parents consider their unborn children generically—which is to say, as things of the same sort. But the pro-natal paternalist could argue that matters are not this simple. He could say that, insofar as they can, parents often, and always ought to, consider the unique circumstances of the lives into which they will bring their children. This line of reasoning appeals to the view that parents often have a pretty good idea of what kinds of lives their children can expect to enjoy. Prospective parents can construct a relatively reliable picture of sorts from their shared genetic history, their socio-economic situation, etc., and can be reasonably sure regarding what their children would prefer. On this line of reasoning, therefore, it is not quite accurate to say that prospective parents consider their potential offspring generically; rather, they consider their offspring, insofar as they can, as unique products of their (the parents’) unique circumstances. But I am not convinced that this objection holds much weight. Consider the fact that siblings often have very different preferences. Further, also consider that children very often fail to live up to their parents’expectations. Finally, though Shiffrin (so far as I can tell) thinks this is rare, children might not have a subjective preference for existence—and it may be begging the question against the anti-natalist to assert that children ought to have this as an objective preference. (Consider here the problem of suicide.) And so, it does not look as though procreation can be justified via appeals to subjective hypothetical consent.
** Asheel Singh, [https://www.researchgate.net/publication/328847972_The_Hypothetical_Consent_Objection_to_Anti-Natalism The Hypothetical Consent Objection to Anti-Natalism], 2018

==T==

* A certain person inveighs against generation, calling it corruptible and destructive; and some one does violence [to Scripture], applying to procreation the Saviour's words, &quot;Lay not up treasure on earth, where moth and rust corrupt&quot;; and he is not ashamed to add to these the words of the prophet: &quot;You all shall grow old as garment, and the moth shall devour you.&quot;
** [[Clement of Alexandria]], ''Stromata''
** Description: about [[Tatian the Assyrian]].

* Best of all for mortal beings is never to have been born at all. Nor ever to have set eyes on the bright light of the sun.
** [[Theognis of Megara]], ''Greek Elegiac Poetry''

* [Nature] turns us out into the world without giving us any choice in the matter; though all other suffrages and freedoms are perfectly insignificant in comparison with that of which we are thus deprived, an effective and enlightened vote on the question: Shall I, or shall I not, be born?
** [[James Thomson (B.V.)]], &quot;The Speedy Extinction of Evil and Misery&quot;, part II, ''[[iarchive:essaysandphanta00thomgoog/|Essays and Phantasies]]'' (1881), p. 62

* But even if we suppose the Christian ideal of perfect chastity realized, what then? We should merely find ourselves face to face on the one hand with the familiar teaching of religion, one of whose dogmas is that the world will have an end; and on the other of so-called science, which informs us that the sun is gradually losing its heat, the result of which will in time be the extinction of the human race.
** [[Leo Tolstoy]], ''Lesson Of The &quot;The Kreutzer Sonata&quot;'', 1889

* If we can't genetically fix our nature I agree with Zapffe. To leave world to a deserted behind is better than to continue this grotesque carousel of procreation.
** {{w|Herman Tønnessen}}, ''Ned med naturen!'', 1984
** Description: also about transhumanism.

==V==

* Heaven and happiness do not exist. That's your parents' way to justify the crime of having brought you into this world. What exists is reality, the tough reality, this slaughterhouse we've come to die in, if not to kill and to eat the animals, our fellow creatures. Therefore, do not reproduce, do not repeat the crimes committed against you, do not give back the same, evil paid with evil, as imposing life is the ultimate crime. Do not disturb the unborn, let them be in the peace of nothingness, anyway we'll all eventually go back there, so why beat around the bush?
** {{w|Fernando Vallejo}}, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-e69sP9HMI ''La desazón suprema: Retrato de Fernando Vallejo''], 2003, 1:30–2:17 min.

* Those I've most loved are my grandma Raquel Pizano and my dog Bruja. I also loved my dad. But after all, he is guilty of imposing on me the burden of life. Life's a burden, it's a curse. Those who I loved, now dead, drag me to the grave. It's very hard to carry on without them. The only way I can live is by forgetting them.
** {{w|Fernando Vallejo}}, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-e69sP9HMI ''La desazón suprema: Retrato de Fernando Vallejo''], 2003, 8:20–8:37 min.

* All this disgrace derive from being born, which therefore is the greatest of all catastrophes.
** Anacleto Verrecchia, ''Diario del Gran Paradiso'', 1997

* Adoption could help if practised on a much larger scale than nowadays, such that any child not definitely wanted by its parents, or born in unfavourable social circumstances, could be adopted by people who want children but do not want to create them for that purpose.
** {{w|Hermann Vetter}}, ''The production of children as a problem of utilitarian ethics'', 1969

* In any case, it is morally preferable not to produce a child. This requires that in any individual encounter, and by any institutional activity in education, mass media, economic and legal policy, people should be discouraged from having children. If such tendencies are successful enough, the number of men on earth may begin to decrease, and if such development continues long enough, the human race will disappear. This, however, would not at all be a deplorable consequence according to Narveson's and my own opinion: the existence of mankind is not a value in itself. On the contrary, if mankind ceases to exist, all suffering is extinguished perfectly, which no other human endeavour will be able to bring about. On the other hand, of course, all happy experiences of men will disappear. But this, according to Narveson's conclusion, would not be deplorable, because no human subject would exist which would be deprived of the happy experiences.
** {{w|Hermann Vetter}}, ''Utilitarianism and New Generations'', 1971

*All conditions and all circumstances seem equally unfortunate to me, from the angel to the oyster. The grievous thing is to be born.
**[[Marie Anne de Vichy-Chamrond, marquise du Deffand]], letter to [[Voltaire]], 1759

* If humanity is to minimize suffering in the future, it must engage with the world, not opt out of it.
** [[Magnus Vinding]], [https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/543094 ''Anti-Natalism and the Future of Suffering: Why Negative Utilitarians Should Not Aim For Extinction''], 2015

* We cannot allow ourselves to spuriously rationalize away the suffering that takes place in nature, and to forget the victims of the horrors of nature merely because that reality does not fit into our convenient moral theories, theories that ultimately just serve to make us feel consistent and good about ourselves in the face of an incomprehensibly bad reality.
** [[Magnus Vinding]], [https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/624122 ''The Speciesism of Leaving Nature Alone, and the Theoretical Case for &quot;Wildlife Anti-Natalism&quot;''], 2016

* Life has so few charms!&lt;br /&gt;And yet we desire it.&lt;br /&gt;No more pleasure, no more power,&lt;br /&gt;in the horrors of death.&lt;br /&gt;A dead lion is not worth&lt;br /&gt;a midge that breathes.&lt;br /&gt; O unfortunate mortal!&lt;br /&gt;Whether your soul is enjoying&lt;br /&gt;the moment given to you,&lt;br /&gt;or whether death is ending it,&lt;br /&gt;both are torture.&lt;br /&gt;It is better not to have been born. 
** [[Voltaire]], [http://www.monsieurdevoltaire.com/2014/08/poeme-precis-de-l-ecclesiaste.html ''Précis of Ecclesiastes''], 1760

==W==

* Every form of fecundity is loathsome, and no one who is honest with himself feels bound to provide for the continuity of the human race. And what we do not realise to be a duty, is not a duty. On the contrary, it is immoral to procreate a human being for any secondary reason, to bring a being into the limitations of humanity, the conditions made for him by his parentage; the fundamental question why the possible freedom and spontaneity of a human being is limited is that he was begotten in such a limited fashion. That the human race should persist is of no interest whatsoever to reason; he who would perpetuate humanity would perpetuate the problem and the guilt; the only problem and the only guilt.
** [[Otto Weininger]], ''Sex &amp; Character''

* Not being born is the first step to happiness. If someone by unhappy accident is here on Earth, one thing should comfort them; they will return to the original state.
** Maria Wisnowska, ''Maria Wisnowska. Jeśli mnie kochasz – zabij!'', 2003

* One cannot bring children into a world like this. One cannot perpetuate suffering, or increase the breed of these lustful animals, who have no lasting emotions, but only whims and vanities, eddying them now this way, now that.
** [[Virginia Woolf]], ''Mrs Dalloway'', 1925
** Description: the words of the character, Septimus Warren Smith.

==Y==

* Simply put, upon a nihilistic basis, I deeply believe that making children is nothing but a hopeless action. This thought can not possibly be removed, and I no longer care to remove it. In terms of pleasure, humans are unpredictable when they will drown in it, and for this reason, one should not create children to avoid getting them entangled in the mess. Children are, horrifyingly, just thrown out into this world as a result of egoistical adults who craves pleasure, with the child's life having attributed meaning afterwards so arbitrarily.
** Naoki Yanase, ''翻訳からの回路'', 1984

==Z==

* The sign of doom is written on your brows – how long will ye kick against the pinpricks? But there is one conquest and one crown, one redemption and one solution. Know yourselves – be infertile and let the earth be silent after ye.
** [[Peter Wessel Zapffe]], [https://philosophynow.org/issues/45/The_Last_Messiah ''The Last Messiah''], 1933

* No future triumph or metamorphosis can justify the pitiful blighting of a human being against his will.
** [[Peter Wessel Zapffe]], ''The Conspiracy Against The Human Race: A Contrivance Of Horror'', 1958

* Above all, we must make the reproductive question ethically relevant. A coin is turned around before it is handed to the beggar, yet a child is unflinchingly tossed into cosmic bruteness. 
** [[Peter Wessel Zapffe]], ''Essays og epistler'', 1967

* You got me. But my son you will not get. You were committing a fateful mistake when assigning even procreation to my will. And you did not do this out of love..., but rather to burden me with the heaviest of all responsibilities...: Am I to perpetuate this species or not? And from now on I will ask no longer what you want; rather you shall ask what I want. And I will no longer offer further sacrifices to the God of life. I will punish you with the ability you bequeathed to me in order to torment me; I will turn my clairvoyance against you and thus bereaving you of your victims. And the abused millions will stand behind me like a plough... And evermore will two people create one human being... Thus you will feel your powerlessness begging me on your bloody knees.
** [[Peter Wessel Zapffe]], ''Om Det Tragiske'', 1983

* Mankind ought to end its existence of its own will.
** [[Peter Wessel Zapffe]], ''Hva det betyr at vaere menneske'', 1990 

* To bear children into this world is like carrying wood into a burning house.
** [[Peter Wessel Zapffe]], ''Reflekser i trylleglass: stemmer fra vårt århundre'', 1998

* For me, a desert island is no tragedy, neither is a deserted planet.
** [[Peter Wessel Zapffe]], ''Philosophical Dialogues'', 1999
*Because I do not want to commit the crime of giving life to beings who later may be unhappy and curse the moment of their birth.
**{{w|Gabriela Zapolska}}, ''Fin-de siecle'istka'', 1894
**Description: the words by the character, Helena. Her answer to the question why she will not have children. She later changes her mind and has a child.

==See also==
* [[Birth]]
* [[Birth control]]
* [[Philosophical pessimism]]

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
[[Category:Antinatalism]]
[[Category:Ethics]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]</text>
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      <comment>Though there are many different arguments for antinatalism, when taken out of context this quote may seem to support veganism or misanthropy more than antinatalism strictly speaking</comment>
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      <text bytes="214382" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Leopardi, Giacomo (1798-1837) - ritr. A Ferrazzi, Recanati, casa Leopardi.jpg|Leopardi,_Giacomo_(1798-1837)_-_ritr._A_Ferrazzi,_Recanati,_casa_Leopardi|thumb|As soon as the child is born, the mother who has just brought him into the world must console him, quiet his crying, and lighten the burden of the existence she has given him. And one of the principal duties of good parents in the childhood and early youth of their children is to comfort them, to encourage them to live, because sorrows and ills and passions are at that age much heavier than they are to those who through long experience, or simply because they have lived longer, are used to suffering. And in truth it is only fitting that the good father and the good mother, in trying to console their children, correct as best they can, and ease, the damage they have done by procreating them. Good God! Why then is man born? And why does he procreate? To console those he has given birth to for having been born?  ~ [[Giacomo Leopardi]]]]
[[File:Cioran in Romania.jpg|thumb|Nothing is a better proof of how far humanity has regressed than the impossibility of finding a single nation, a single tribe, among whom birth still provokes mourning and lamentations. ~ [[Emil Cioran]]]]
[[File:Still from &quot;Militantisme et diffusion des idées de décroissances (conférence)&quot;.png|Still_from_&quot;Militantisme_et_diffusion_des_idées_de_décroissances_(conférence)&quot;|thumb|Answer without flinching: if there existed a solution that could abolish the totality of all evils inflicted on disastrous humanity, if it was possible, by some simple remedy, incredibly cheap, immediately accessible, scrupulously inoffensive, of absolute and definitive efficiency, to stop all distress, all cries, all cries of pain, all pathologies, all protests of ill-being, all despair, all cataclysms, all anxiety, all unhappiness, in short all tortures afflicting the human species, would you have the macabre stupidity to reject such a remedy, to disdain such a miracle cure? No, that goes without saying. Well this solution does exist, and the mysterious is thereby delivered to us: it consists simply, in its saintly simplicity, to not procreate. ~ [[w:Théophile de Giraud|Théophile de Giraud]]]]
[[[[File:A distressed young woman leaning on a tombstone in a graveya Wellcome V0042389.jpg|A_distressed_young_woman_leaning_on_a_tombstone_in_a_graveya_Wellcome_V0042389|thumb|It is curious that while good people go to great lengths to spare their children from suffering, few of them seem to notice that the one (and only) guaranteed way to prevent all the suffering of their children is not to bring those children into existence in the first place. - [[David Benatar]]]]
'''[[w:Antinatalism|Antinatalism]]''' or anti-natalism, is the [[Ethics|ethical]] view that negatively values procreation. Antinatalists argue that humans should abstain from procreation because it is morally wrong. 
__NOTOC__
{{TOCalpha}}

==A==

*What! Having the Infinite Force&lt;br /&gt;Only to pay oneself distressing spectacles,&lt;br /&gt; Impose massacre, inflict agony,&lt;br /&gt;Wanting before his eyes only the dead and the dying!&lt;br /&gt; In front of this spectator of our extreme pains&lt;br /&gt;Our indignation will overcome all terror;&lt;br /&gt;We will intersect our rasps of blasphemies,&lt;br /&gt;Not without a secret desire to excite his fury.&lt;br /&gt;Who knows? We may find some insult&lt;br /&gt;Who irritates him so much that, with a mad arm,&lt;br /&gt;He tears up our dark planet from the heavens,&lt;br /&gt;And shattered this unfortunate globe in a thousand shards.&lt;br /&gt; Our audacity at least would save you from being born,&lt;br /&gt;You who still sleep in the depth of the future.&lt;br /&gt;And we would come out triumphant for having, by ceasing to be,&lt;br /&gt;forced God to wash his hands off of Humanity.&lt;br /&gt;Ah! What immense joy after so much suffering!&lt;br /&gt;Through the debris, over the mass graves.&lt;br /&gt;To finally be able to let out this cry of deliverance:&lt;br /&gt;No more men under the sky, we are the last!
**{{w|Louise-Victorine Ackermann}}, ''[[iarchive:CompleteWorksOfLouiseVictorineAckermannMyLifeFirstPoemsPhilosophicalPoems1877Tra/page/n133/mode/2up|Pascal – Last Word]]'', 1871

* Miserable grain of dust&lt;br /&gt;That nothingness has rejected,&lt;br /&gt;Your life is one day on earth;&lt;br /&gt;You are nothing in the immensity.&lt;br /&gt;Your mother gave you birth, groaning:&lt;br /&gt;You were the son of his sorrows;&lt;br /&gt;And you saluted the existence&lt;br /&gt;Through shrill cries and tears,&lt;br /&gt;And ends with these lines:&lt;br /&gt;Under the weight of your ills your worn body succumbs,&lt;br /&gt;And, tasting the calm foretaste of the night,&lt;br /&gt;Your eye finally closes from the sleep of the grave:&lt;br /&gt;Rejoice, old man, this is your first happiness
**{{w|Louise-Victorine Ackermann}}, [[iarchive:CompleteWorksOfLouiseVictorineAckermannMyLifeFirstPoemsPhilosophicalPoems1877Tra|''Works of Louise-Victorine Ackermann: My Life, First Poems, Philosophical Poems'']], 1877, [[iarchive:CompleteWorksOfLouiseVictorineAckermannMyLifeFirstPoemsPhilosophicalPoems1877Tra/page/n12/mode/1up|p. 12]]

* Among the people who are created, there are always some who will have to suffer unspeakably. This fact, having been considered not only by Schopenhauer and other so-called pessimists, should influence anyone prepared to have a closer look only – and especially – at the 20th century to philosophize. Thus far, nobody has succeeded in demonstrating that the inconceivable, though immeasurable suffering inflicted upon human beings, in Auschwitz and elsewhere throughout time and space, can be compensated by the former or future happiness of the sufferers or of others. 
** Karim Akerma, ''Verebben der Menschheit?: Neganthropie und Anthropodizee'', 2000

* Only by means of relative or absolute childlessness, resulting in mankind's ebbing away, could happen what might be named – borrowing from the Greek myth – Sisyphus's revolt. He would give up his work, not in order to commit suicide but rather by refraining from having children who otherwise would have taken his spot. In such a way that at some point in time there would be no one in the rock's path which would eventually roll out. In terms of the Asian primordial decision: by means of abstention from procreation, the wheel of suffering would be deprived of its impetus until it comes to a standstill.
** Karim Akerma, ''Verebben der Menschheit?: Neganthropie und Anthropodizee'', 2000

* Although there are many answers to the question of how people should live, few thinkers have wondered about whether it is really moral to create people. Antinatalism undermines what seems obvious: that people should be begotten and born.
** Karim Akerma, [https://www.tabularasamagazin.de/was-ist-antinatalismus/ ''Was ist antinatalismus?''], 2014

* By sterilising animals, we can free them from being slaves to their instincts and from bringing more and more captive animals into the cycle of being born, contracting parasites, ageing, falling ill and dying; eating and being eaten.
** Karim Akerma, [http://akerma.de/Antinatalist%20Manifesto_Karim%20Akerma.pdf ''Antinatalist Manifesto. On the Ethics of Antinatalism: Challenging Human and Animal Procreation''], 2014

* Whoever procreates is a selfish ego-producer. On the other hand, whoever decides to adopt has the opportunity to show what true altruism is. 
** Karim Akerma, ''Antinatalismus – Ein Handbuch'', 2017

* Without God, clearly, one needs no theodicy. That is to say, there is no longer any point in enquiring into such matters as why God has permitted so much suffering or whether – if the creation of no other world than this deeply imperfect one were possible – He would have done better to forgo Creation of world and Man altogether. But modernity rid itself of the desire for a theodicy without seeing that, by doing this, it burdened itself with the obligation to provide an anthropodicy in this latter's stead. This anthropodicy takes the form of the parallel but modified question: how can it be justified, in the face of so much suffering undergone in the past, being experienced in the present, and to be expected in the future, that human beings beget more human beings?
** Karim Akerma, ''Antinatalismus – Ein Handbuch'', 2017

* If ye unto your sons would prove,&lt;br /&gt;By act how dearly them ye love,&lt;br /&gt;Then every voice of wisdom joins,&lt;br /&gt;To bid you leave them in your loins.
** [[Abul ʿAla Al-Maʿarri]], [https://ia902706.us.archive.org/35/items/studiesinislamic00nichuoft/studiesinislamic00nichuoft.pdf ''Studies in Islamic Poetry'']

* My father has perpetrated this crime against me; I am guilty of none.
** [[Abul ʿAla Al-Maʿarri]], ''Arab Socialism''
** Description: Al-Maʿarri is said to have wanted this verse inscribed over his grave.

* The lizard's ancestors are the cause of its being hunted.
**[[Abul ʿAla Al-Maʿarri]], [https://ia902706.us.archive.org/35/items/studiesinislamic00nichuoft/studiesinislamic00nichuoft.pdf ''Studies in Islamic Poetry''], 1921

* To beget is to increase the sum of evil.
**[[Abul ʿAla Al-Maʿarri]], [https://ia902706.us.archive.org/35/items/studiesinislamic00nichuoft/studiesinislamic00nichuoft.pdf ''Studies in Islamic Poetry''], 1921

* Whenever I reflect, my reflecting upon what I suffer only rouses me to blame him that begot me. And I gave peace to my children, for they are in the bliss of nonexistence which surpasses all the pleasures of this world. Had they come to life, they would have endured a misery casting them to destruction in trackless wildernesses.
**[[Abul ʿAla Al-Maʿarri]], [https://ia902706.us.archive.org/35/items/studiesinislamic00nichuoft/studiesinislamic00nichuoft.pdf ''Studies in Islamic Poetry''], 1921
*Better for Adam and all who issued forth from his loins&lt;br&gt;That he and they, yet unborn, created never had been!&lt;br&gt;For whilst his body was dust and rotten bones in the earth,&lt;br&gt;Ah, did he feel what his children saw and suffered of woe?
**[[Abul ʿAla Al-Maʿarri]], [https://ia902706.us.archive.org/35/items/studiesinislamic00nichuoft/studiesinislamic00nichuoft.pdf ''Studies in Islamic Poetry''], 1921

* All human actions are nothing more than attempts to heal the mistake of their existence.
** {{w|Abdullah al-Qasemi}}, ''أيها العقل من رآك؟''

* My wife and I had not brought any children into this world, instead we had adopted. But having your own children is not a beautiful thing. Maybe I am wrong, maybe I am too hard. But I think I'm not doin' someone a big favour by giving him life.
** [[Woody Allen]], [https://www.welt.de/kultur/article93475/Kinder-selbst-zu-produzieren-ist-keine-schoene-Sache.html ''Kinder selbst zu produzieren, ist keine schöne Sache''], 2006

* And what should I pray about? I ain't afraid of the next world; it can't be worse than this one; and in this world prayers don't cut much ice. I prayed so hard not to have a child - but I did and all. I prayed that the child might be able to stay with me - and it had to go to the Institute. I prayed that there it might stay alive - and it took and died. 
** {{w|Leonid Andreyev}}, ''The Christians''
** Description: the words of the character, Grusha.

* You began existing, raw jelly,&lt;br /&gt;And you will grow further, in your silence, so large&lt;br /&gt;Which, is natural, still some day, the crying&lt;br /&gt;will flow from the shape which you took!&lt;br /&gt;The water, in conjunction with the bare earth,&lt;br /&gt;wins over the granite, depressing it... the fright&lt;br /&gt;Convulses the spirits, and yet,&lt;br /&gt;Your development continues!&lt;br /&gt;Before, human jelly, do not progress&lt;br /&gt;And in undefined retrogradations,&lt;br /&gt;Return to the old calm of nonexistence!&lt;br /&gt;Before the Nothingness, oh! Germ, You shall still&lt;br /&gt;Reach it, like the germs of other beings&lt;br /&gt;To the supreme misfortune of being! 
** {{w|Augusto dos Anjos}}, [https://pt.wikisource.org/wiki/A_um_G%C3%A9rmen ''A um gérmen''], 1941

* Birth is the driving wheel of all ills.
** Philippe Annaba, ''Bienheureux les stériles'', 2002

* Cattle sleep well&lt;br /&gt;they peacefully chew the cud&lt;br /&gt;because they do not know that tomorrow&lt;br /&gt;their calf will head to the slaughterhouse&lt;br /&gt;to the arena&lt;br /&gt;maybe they just do not care&lt;br /&gt;Do you, too, do not care&lt;br /&gt;about the fate of your children? 
** Philippe Annaba, ''Bienheureux les stériles'', 1973

* O women, if we would compel the men&lt;br&gt;To bow to Peace, we must refrain ...&lt;br&gt;We must refrain from every depth of love. ...&lt;br&gt;All we have to do is idly sit indoors&lt;br&gt;With smooth roses powdered on our cheeks,&lt;br&gt;Our bodies burning naked through the folds&lt;br&gt;Of shining Amorgos' silk, and meet the men&lt;br&gt;With our dear Venus-plats plucked trim and neat.&lt;br&gt;Their stirring love will rise up furiously,&lt;br&gt;They'll beg our arms to open. That's our time!&lt;br&gt;We'll disregard their knocking, beat them off—&lt;br&gt;And they will soon be rabid for a Peace.&lt;br&gt;I'm sure of it.
** [[Aristophanes]], Lysistrata advocating for women to withhold satisfaction from their husbands until men agree to stop killing sons in war, ''[[w:Lysistrata (play)|Lysistrata]]'' (411 BC)

* But I am aware of some that murmur: What, say they, if all men should abstain from all sexual intercourse, whence will the human race exist? Would that all would this, only in &quot;charity out of a pure heart, and good conscience, and faith unfeigned&quot;; much more speedily would the City of God be filled, and the end of the world hastened.
** [[Augustine of Hippo]], ''Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers: First Series, Volume III St. Augustine: On the Holy Trinity, Doctrinal Treatises, Moral Treatises''

==B==

* I think babies cry when they're born because they are born with the knowledge of all the terrible #### that gonna happen to them. That's why I never had kids. Every life is a death sentence. We just forget it later in life, like dreams we lose the second we wake up. Whether we worry about it or not, the shit's still going to fly.
** {{w|Clive Barker}}, ''The Scarlet Gospels'', 2015

* Miss Barnes sees life and the perpetuation of life as a mistake; indeed, the mistake is to be alive, and then by procreation, to compound that error and produce more tragedy and pain.
** James B. Scott, ''Djuna Barnes'', 1976, p. 24
** Description: about Djuna Barnes.

* Because of its emphasis upon human bestiality and the need for mankind not to take the world seriously and to abstain from procreation, the thought of Djuna Barnes, if we wish to label it in any systematic way, would have to be called Saturninian Christian in character.
** Andres Field, ''Djuna, the formidable Miss Barnes'', 1985, p. 170
** Description: about Djuna Barnes.

* Homosexuality seems hardly the issue, for Nightwood neither defends nor condemns it, except in one oblique way. Given that life is suffering, the greatest crime would be procreation, which seems to give homosexuality the edge as a preferred lifestyle, since it promotes the extinction of the human species.
** Phillip F. Herring, ''Djuna: the life and work of Djuna Barnes'', 1995, p. 207
**Description: about Djuna Barnes.

* Astride of a grave and a difficult birth. Down in the hole, lingeringly, the grave-digger puts on the forceps. We have time to grow old. The air is full of our cries.
** [[Samuel Beckett]], Vladimir in ''[[w:Waiting for Godot|Waiting for Godot]]'', 1953

* Birth was the death of him.
** [[Samuel Beckett]], ''{{w|A Piece of Monologue}}'' (1977)

* &quot;No,&quot; he replied, when I asked him if he had ever wanted children, &quot;that's one thing I'm proud of.&quot;
** [[Samuel Beckett]] as interviewed by Lawrence Shainberg, ''Exorcising Beckett'', 1987

* [[Samuel Beckett|Beckett]] ... targets parents as irresponsible criminals although, of course, in life courtesy prevented him from expressing his real feelings. Hamm denounces his parents in ''[[w:Endgame (play)|Endgame]]'' as &quot;accursed progenitors&quot; and Molloy is bitterly unable to forgive his mother for bringing him into the world. In private I knew Beckett to express a passive anger at those who insisted on having families.
** View of [[Samuel Beckett]] described by John Calder in ''The Philosophy of Samuel Beckett'' (2001)

* Creating new people, by having babies, is so much a part of human life that it is rarely thought even to require a justification. Indeed, most people do not even think about whether they should or should not make a baby. They just make one. In other words, procreation is usually the consequence of sex rather than the result of a decision to bring people into existence. Those who do indeed decide to have a child might do so for any number of reasons, but among these reasons cannot be the interests of the potential child. One can never have a child for that child's sake.
** [[David Benatar]], ''Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence'', 2006, p. 2 (introduction) &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0199549269}}&lt;/small&gt;

* It is curious that while good people go to great lengths to spare their children from suffering, few of them seem to notice that the one (and only) guaranteed way to prevent all the suffering of their children is not to bring those children into existence in the first place.
** [[David Benatar]], ''Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence'', 2006, p. 6 (introduction) &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0199549269}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Assuming that each couple has three children, an original pair's cumulative descendants over ten generations amount to 88,572 people. That constitutes a lot of pointless, avoidable suffering. To be sure, full responsibility for it all does not lie with the original couple because each new generation faces the choice of whether to continue that line of descendants. Nevertheless, they bear some responsibility for the generations that ensue. If one does not desist from having children, one can hardly expect one's descendants to do so.
** [[David Benatar]], ''Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence'', 2006, pp. 6–7 (introduction) &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0199549269}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Although, as we have seen, ''nobody'' is lucky enough not to be born, ''everybody'' is ''un''lucky enough to have been born – and particularly bad ''luck'' it is, as I shall now explain. On the quite plausible assumption that one's genetic origin is a necessary (but not sufficient) condition for having come into existence, one could not have been formed by anything other than the particular gametes that produced the zygote from which one developed. This implies, in turn, that one could not have had any genetic parents other than those that one does have. It follows from this that any person's chances of having come into existence are extremely remote. The existence of any one person is dependent not only on that person's parents themselves having come into existence and having met but also on their having conceived that person at the time that they did. Indeed, mere moments might make a difference to which particular sperm is instrumental in a conception. The recognition of how unlikely it was that one would have come into existence, combined with the recognition that coming into existence is always a serious harm, yields the conclusion that one's having come into existence is really bad luck. It is bad enough when one suffers some harm. It is worse still when the chances of having been harmed are very remote.  
** [[David Benatar]], ''Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence'', 2006, p. 7 (introduction) &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0199549269}}&lt;/small&gt;

* The argument that coming into existence is always a harm can be summarized as follows: Both good and bad things happen only to those who exist. However, there is a crucial asymmetry between the good and the bad things. The absence of bad things, such as pain, is good even if there is nobody to enjoy that good, whereas the absence of good things, such as pleasure, is bad only if there is somebody who is deprived of these good things. 
** [[David Benatar]], ''Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence'', 2006, p. 14 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0199549269}}&lt;/small&gt;

* We can regret, for the sake of an indeterminate but existent person that a benefit was not bestowed on him or her, but we cannot regret, for the sake of somebody who never exists and thus cannot thereby be deprived, a good that this never existent person never experiences. One might grieve about not having had children, but not because the children that one could have had have been deprived of existence. Remorse about not having children is remorse for ourselves—sorrow about having missed childbearing and childrearing experiences. However, we do regret having brought into existence a child with an unhappy life, and we regret it for the child’s sake, even if also for our own sakes. The reason why we do not lament our failure to bring somebody into existence is because absent pleasures are not bad.
** [[David Benatar]], ''Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence'', 2006, pp. 34-35. &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0199549269}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Disability rights advocates also correctly note that quality-of-life assessments differ quite markedly between those who have impairments and those who do not. Many of those without impairments tend to think that lives with impairments are not worth starting (and may even not be worth continuing) whereas many of those with impairments tend to think that lives with these impairments are worth starting (and certainly are worth continuing). There certainly does seem to be something self-serving about the dominant view. It conveniently sets the quality threshold for lives worth starting above that of the impaired but below normal human lives. But is there anything less self-serving about those with impairments setting the threshold just beneath the quality of their lives? Disability rights advocates argue that the threshold in most people’s judgements about what constitutes a minimally decent quality of life is set too high. However, the phenomenon of discrepant judgements is equally compatible with the claim that the ordinary threshold is set too low (in order that at least some of us should pass it). The view that it is set too low is exactly the judgement that we can imagine would be made by an extra-terrestrial with a charmed life, devoid of any suffering or hardship. It would look with pity on our species and see the disappointment, anguish, grief, pain, and suffering that marks every human life, and judge our existence, as we (humans without unusual impairments) judge the existence of bedridden quadriplegics, to be worse than the alternative of non-existence.
** [[David Benatar]], ''Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence'' (2006), p 120. &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0199549269}}&lt;/small&gt;

* A few of my critics have claimed that I am committed to the desirability of suicide and even speciecide. They clearly intend this as a ''reductio ad absurdum'' of my position. However, I considered the questions of suicide and speciecide in ''Better Never to Have Been'' and argued that these are not implications of my view. First, it is possible to think that both coming into existence is a serious harm and that death is (usually) a serious harm. Indeed, some people might think that coming into existence is a serious harm in part because the harm of death is then inevitable.
** [[David Benatar]], ''Still Better Never to Have Been: A Reply to (More of) My Critics'', 2013

* To procreate is thus to engage in a kind of Russian roulette, but one in which the &quot;gun&quot; is aimed not at oneself but instead at one's oﬀspring. You trigger a new life and thereby subject that new life to the risk of unspeakable suﬀering. 
** [[David Benatar]], ''Debating Procreation: Is It Wrong To Reproduce?'', 2015

* Another route to anti-natalism is via what I call a &quot;misanthropic&quot; argument. According to this argument humans are a deeply flawed and a destructive species that is responsible for the suffering and deaths of billions of other humans and non-human animals. If that level of destruction were caused by another species we would rapidly recommend that new members of that species not be brought into existence.
** [[David Benatar]], [http://www.philosophy.uct.ac.za/sites/default/files/image_tool/images/160/We%20Are%20Creatures%20That%20Should%20Not%20Exist%20The%20Theory%20of%20Anti-Natalism%20%28The%20Critique%2015%20July%202015%29.pdf ''&quot;We Are Creatures That Should Not Exist&quot;: The Theory of Anti-Natalism''], 2015

* Our species is prone to a flattering view of itself. Humans have regarded themselves as the pinnacle of creation, formed by and in the image of an omnibenevolent, omniscient, and omnipotent God, and inhabiting a planet at the center of the universe—a planet around which all others revolve. Science has done much to debunk some of these ideas. We now know that our planet is not at the center of the universe: the earth revolves around the sun rather than vice versa. And we know—or at least some of us do—that we are Johnny-come-lately products of a long, blind evolutionary process.
** [[David Benatar]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=J6dBCgAAQBAJ&amp;lpg=PA44&amp;pg=PA35#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false The Misanthropic Argument for Anti-natalism]'' (2015), p. 35-36

* Humans may exceed other animals in their sapient capacities, but we also surpass other species on our destructiveness. Many animals cause harm, but we are the most lethal species ever to have inhabited our planet. It is revealing that we do not refer to ''this'' superlative property in identifying ourselves. There is ample evidence that we are ''Homo pernicious'' – the dangerous, destructive human. 
** [[David Benatar]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=J6dBCgAAQBAJ&amp;newbks=0&amp;lpg=PA58&amp;pg=PA38 The Misanthropic Argument for Anti-natalism]'', p. 38

* Humans inflict untold suffering and death on many billions of animals every year, and the overwhelming majority of humans are heavily complicit. 
** [[David Benatar]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=J6dBCgAAQBAJ&amp;newbks=0&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA43#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false The Misanthropic Argument for Anti-natalism]'', p. 43

* Some of the harm that humans cause to other humans and to animals is mediated by the destructive effect that humans have on the environment. For much of human history, the damage was local. Groups of humans fouled their immediate environment. In recent centuries the human impact has increased exponentially and the threat is now to the global environment. The increased threat is a product of two interacting factors–the exponential growth of the human population combined with significant increases in negative effects per capita. The latter is the result of industrialization and increased consumption. 
** [[David Benatar]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=J6dBCgAAQBAJ&amp;lpg=PA44&amp;pg=PA48#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false The Misanthropic Argument for Anti-natalism]'', p. 48

*Certainly in the case of the treatment of animals, the scales are heavily weighted against us. Although it is true that some humans do some good for animals, much of this is merely rescuing animals from the maltreatment of other humans. At the level of the human species such benefits cannot be used to offset the harms. If there were no humans to inflict the harms, these benefits would not be necessary. Of course, humans do bestow some other benefits, such as veterinary care for their companion animals. However, the number of animals affected and the amount of good done is massively outweighed by the harm the human species does to non-human animals. 
** [[David Benatar]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=J6dBCgAAQBAJ&amp;newbks=0&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA52#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false The Misanthropic Argument for Anti-natalism]'', 2015, p. 52

* Humanity is a moral disaster. There would have been much less destruction had we never evolved. The fewer humans there are in the future, the less destruction there will still be. 
** [[David Benatar]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=J6dBCgAAQBAJ&amp;lpg=PA44&amp;pg=PA55#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false The Misanthropic Argument for Anti-natalism]'', 2015, p. 55

* Few prospective procreators consider the asthetic impact of their potential children. But how many more producers of excrement and urine, flatulence, menstrual blood and semen, sweat, mucus, vomit, and pus do we really need? How much more human waste do we need to process? How many more corpses do we need to dispose of? It would be an aesthetic improvement if there were fewer people.
** [[David Benatar]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=J6dBCgAAQBAJ&amp;newbks=0&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA58 The Misanthropic Argument for Anti-natalism]'', 2015, p. 58

* The question of whether or not to be is a consequence and a derivative of the human issue, whether to procreate or not, is strange that literature rarely puts it down, that he is underestimating her, silently assuming that the resolution is the same intellectual obviousness as the obviousness of the practice of life.
** Henryk Bereza, ''Bieg rzeczy'', 1982

* Even at the risk of being thought mad, we must not be afraid to say that our parents, like theirs before them, were guilty of the crime of procreation, which means the crime of creating unhappiness, of conspiring with others to increase the unhappiness of an increasingly unhappy world.
** {{w|Thomas Bernhard}}, ''Gathering Evidence: A Memoir'', 1985

* To beget, because one wants no longer to be alone, another aloneness; this is criminal.
** {{w|Thomas Bernhard}}, Maler Strauch in ''Frost'', 1963

* Every night and every morn&lt;br /&gt;Some to misery are born;&lt;br /&gt;Every morn and every night&lt;br /&gt;Some are born to sweet delight;&lt;br /&gt;Some are born to sweet delight,&lt;br /&gt;Some are born to endless night.
* [[William Blake]], &quot;[[wikisource:Life_of_William_Blake_(1880),_Volume_2/Ideas_of_good_and_evil#107|Auguries of Innocence]]&quot; (1880)

* Everyone who's been born is subject to the dictate of birth. A creator, be it &quot;God&quot; or the parents, &quot;bestow&quot; life: without regard for the presentee's inability to accept, or for that he'd be no less poor without this &quot;gift&quot; and that the presentees didn't exist as they received the gift, and thus had no chance to refuse or reject it. The creation of a new creature is indisputably an act of caprice, since the creation leads to a forced deportation of the creature into life or, to stick to Heidegger's words, the creature is &quot;thrown&quot; into life. But for that matter, rather than getting thrown into life, the creature is forced to enter life, it is dragged, innocently condemned to live. As such every life starts with a violation of the newborn's will. This tragedy with comedic qualities is described by Leo Tolstoy in a benign way, when he says: &quot;my life is a stupid and spiteful joke someone has played on me&quot;.
** Gunter Bleibohm, ''Fluch der Geburt – Thesen einer Überlebensethik'', 2011
** Description: the quote by [[Leo Tolstoy]] refers to the work [[wikisource:A_Confession_(Maudes_translation)/IV|''A Confession'']].

* In the Council of 1211 against the Bogomils, those among them were anathematized who held that &quot;woman conceives in her womb by the cooperation of Satan, that Satan abides there upon conception without withdrawing hence until the birth of the child&quot;. I dare not suppose that the Devil can be concerned with us to the point of keeping us company for so many months, but I cannot doubt that we have been conceived under his eyes and that he actually attended our beloved begetters.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The New Gods'', 1969

* For thirteen hundred years there were major movements within the Church, or in competition with it, which taught that procreation was evil: Gnosticism, Manicheanism, Priscillianism, Bogomilism, Catharism.
** {{w|Richard D. Schwartz}}, Jerome H. Skolnick, ''Society and the legal order: cases and materials in the sociology of law'', 1970

* However, one heretical doctrine mentioned by Theophylact is of a non-Paulician origin: the heretics, he writes, reject lawful marriage and maintain that the reproduction of the human species is a law of the demon. This exaggerated and distorted asceticism, essentially characteristic of Bogomilism, is a logical consequence of metaphysical dualism, according to which Matter, the product of the Evil Principle, is a source of limitation and suffering for the divinely created soul; hence marriage, as the means of reproduction of Matter, is to be condemned and avoided.
** {{w|Dimitri Obolensky}}, ''The Bogomils: A Study in Balkan Neo-Manichaeism'', 2004

* Is there any doubt that the creation was an act of great violence by God our Father against our Mother the abyss? He made the heavens and the earth and in their image we created our world: every victim of a racial lynching, every target of gendered violence, every abject creature crushed under the weight of imperialist oppression is both the prey of children reenacting the cruelty of their Father and a sacrifice to Him, that He might prevail in keeping the night away from the cold harshness of His day. But, despite all the angels of Heaven and all the devils of Hell, we can still hear in the heart of this miserable existence the whispering echoes of Her voice calling us once again to the emptiness and the silence: let us pray, then, that every palace will crumble and every throne will break, and that the sun will grow dim and the moon turn black and the stars fall from the sky. There are no male gods worth our worship; there are no white gods worth our worship; Satan with his promise of strength and fortune and the old gods with their fallen grandeur were nothing but His other faces, and the serpent and the Promethean Lucifer only actors doing His bidding. Let us praise weakness, not strength; confusion, not security; sorrow, not triumph; darkness, not esoteric light; let our hearts belong only to the undoing of the wretched totality of His work and our every yearning to the void, that She might rise again in all of Her sorrow and loss to drown this world in the depth of her tears.
** Book of Sand, ''Occult Anarchist Propaganda'', 2016

* The alive is knocking to the world&lt;br /&gt;I am its gate of the world. I body&lt;br /&gt;It hammers&lt;br /&gt;It hits by head&lt;br /&gt;The ivory gate is trembling&lt;br /&gt;The gate is maintained. It does not open&lt;br /&gt;Maybe it should leave&lt;br /&gt;Restrain&lt;br /&gt;Understand the sign&lt;br /&gt;Warning&lt;br /&gt;Maybe there is no need&lt;br /&gt;Maybe it is not worth it&lt;br /&gt;Nothing can be stopped&lt;br /&gt;The body is ruled by force&lt;br /&gt;It shrinks, stretches&lt;br /&gt;It twists, shakes, distend&lt;br /&gt;The alive tries to tear the body apart&lt;br /&gt;It explodes from the inside&lt;br /&gt;I am the surrounding body&lt;br /&gt;The gate of the world&lt;br /&gt;I am what it wants to tear&lt;br /&gt;The curved gate can not withstand pressure&lt;br /&gt;It opens, opens slightly&lt;br /&gt;Rim slide apart&lt;br /&gt;Not enough to let the alive leave&lt;br /&gt;But enough to make it feel the streak of the world&lt;br /&gt;Let it know&lt;br /&gt;Let it look through the crack&lt;br /&gt;While there is still time&lt;br /&gt;The time has come&lt;br /&gt;The alive rolls in a soft canal&lt;br /&gt;In the mucus and blood&lt;br /&gt;It drinks the mucus of initiation&lt;br /&gt;I am its slippery path&lt;br /&gt;The bloody path of the world&lt;br /&gt;It understood&lt;br /&gt;It goes back&lt;br /&gt;Draw air! Push! Harder! Not on&lt;br /&gt;belly! Push towards the anus! Like towards poop. Draw air! Push towards down! This is not pushing! Even the sphincter does not become bulgy. Hard, push harder! Harder! More harder! Do not push! Do not push! Do not push, I say! Pant like a dog!&lt;br /&gt;The alive turns its head.&lt;br /&gt;Li, li, li, li, laj,&lt;br /&gt;Blue Heir.
** Jolanta Brach-Czaina, ''Szczeliny istnienia'', 1992, pp. 45–46

* Description: one of the most well-known Polish carols has the words: &quot;Li, li, li, li, laj, Blue Heir&quot;, it is lullaby sung to Jesus.
* The formula of childbirth is: let the current state of affairs continue. Unbelievable message. &quot;Forget about suffering, stop rebelling.&quot; This means acceptance of everything that happens, suggests that existence has an indisputable value. It also turns out that existence is not as independent of our will as we might think, but we are the ones who make the final gesture of consent. And therefore, we are responsible. 
** Jolanta Brach-Czaina, ''Szczeliny istnienia'', 1992, p. 48

* The philosophy of the act of birth is antisocial, because it suggests that the world does not require improvement, and all the difficulty is that it must be accepted. It is also amoral, because it requires that we accept ourselves. It removes the alleged guilt and prevents accusations. It does not even try to climb the scaffolding of decent moral principles, nor does it try to design social justice. These projects are too sophisticated, too distant to be read from the crotch. The lack of moral subtlety does not, however, cut the path of metaphysical consequences.
** Jolanta Brach-Czaina, ''Szczeliny istnienia'', 1992, p. 50

* Whoever gives birth makes a sacrifice to a wild god who is life.
** Jolanta Brach-Czaina, ''Szczeliny istnienia'', 1992, p. 54

* Bringing a child into the world without its consent seems unethical. Leaving the womb just seems insane. The womb is nirvana. It's tripping in an eternal orb outside the space-time continuum. It's a warm, wet rave at the center of the earth, but you're the only raver. There's no weird New Age guide. There's no shitty techno. There's only you and the infinite.
**{{w|Melissa Broder}}, ''So Sad Today: Personal Essays'', 2016

* Procreation is something impossible for me. I would never forgive myself for putting someone on death row.
** {{w|Elisa Brune}}, ''La mort dans l'âme: tango avec Cioran'', 2011

* Nanda, I do not extol the production of a new existence even a little bit; nor do I extol the production of a new existence for even a moment.
** [[Gautama Buddha]], [https://centreforjournalism.co.uk/content/philosophical-review-trigger-warning-%E2%80%93-better-not-have-been-born-philosophical-investigation ''Garbhavakranti Sutra'']

* Do not use violence against any creature, do not bother any of them, and do not want a child. Leaving alone and being kind. Be alone like a rhino horn.
** [[Gautama Buddha]], [https://uranaka-shobou.com/suttanipata ''Sutta Nipata'']

* Setting at Savatthi. Then, in the morning, the bhikkhuni Cala dressed... she sat down at the foot of a tree for the day's abiding. Then Mara the Evil One approached the bhikkhuni Cala and said to her: &quot;What don't you approve of, bhikkhuni?&quot; Cala: &quot;I don't approve of birth, friend.&quot; Mara: &quot;Why don't you approve of birth? Once born, one enjoys sensual pleasures. Who now has persuaded you of this: Bhikkhuni, don't approve of birth'?&quot; Cala: &quot;For one who is born there is death; Once born, one encounters sufferings — Bondage, murder, affliction — Hence one shouldn't approve of birth. The Buddha has taught the Dhamma, The transcendence of birth; For the abandoning of all suffering He has settled me in the truth. As to those beings who fare amidst form, And those who abide in the formless — Not having understood cessation, They come again to re-becoming.&quot; Then Mara the Evil One, realizing, &quot;The bhikkhuni Cala knows me,&quot; sad and disappointed, disappeared right there.
** [https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn05/sn05.006.bodh.html ''Cala Sutta''], ''[[Saṃyutta Nikāya]]''

* Buddha states his propositions in the pedantic style of his age. He throws them into a form of sorites; but, as such, it is logically faulty and all he wishes to convey is this: Oblivious of the suffering to which life is subject, man begets children, and is thus the cause of old age and death. If he would only realize what suffering he would add to by his act, he would desist from the procreation of children; and so stop the operation of old age and death.
** {{w|Hari Singh Gour}}, ''The Spirit of Buddhism'', 1929

* In the medieval Tantric traditions of India and Tibet documented by David Gray and Janet Gyatso, insertive but non-ejaculative sex is theorized as a fast path to liberating realizations, one deemed superior to celibacy for qualified practitioners (Gray 2007; Gyatso 1998). These developments also support the idea that the sex problematic in ancient, classical, and medieval Buddhism had at least as much to do with female fertility and the production of children as with the dangers of errant desire.
** Amy Paris Langenberg, ''Buddhist antinatalism'', 2018

* Maybe rebirth is simply HAVING KIDS. 
** [[Jack Kerouac]], ''Selected letters, 1957-1969, volume 2'', 1999
** Description: about [[buddhism]].

* They were good Buddhists, and every good Buddhist knows that begetting is merely postponed assassination. Do your best to get off the Wheel of Birth and Death, and for heaven's sake don't go about putting superfluous victims onto the Wheel.
** [[Aldous Huxley]], ''Island'', 1962
** Description: the words of the character, Ranga.

* We do not rush toward death, we flee the catastrophe of birth, survivors struggling to forget it. Fear of death is merely the projection into the future of a fear which dates back to our first moment of life. We are reluctant, of course, to treat birth as a scourge: has it not been inculcated as the sovereign good—have we not been told that the worst came at the end, not at the outset of our lives? Yet evil, the real evil, is behind, not ahead of us. What escaped Jesus did not escape Buddha: &quot;If three things did not exist in the world, O disciples, the Perfect One would not appear in the world...&quot; And ahead of old age and death he places the fact of birth, source of every infirmity, every disaster. 
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* In Buddhist writings, mention is often made of &quot;the abyss of birth&quot;. An abyss indeed, a gulf into which we do not fall but from which, instead, we emerge, to our universal chagrin.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* If you're afraid of illnesses, if you are afraid of death, then you should contemplate where they com from? Where do they come from? They arise from birth. So don't be sad when someone dies, it's just nature, and his suffering in this life is over. If you want to be sad, be sad when people are born: Oh. No, they've come again. They're going to suffer and die again!
** {{w|Ajahn Chah}}, [https://www.ajahnchah.org/pdf/no_ajahn_chah.pdf ''No Ajahn Chah: Reflections''], 1994

* Our birth and death are just one thing. You can't have one without the other. It's a little funny to see how at a death people are so tearful and sad, and at a birth how happy and delighted. It's delusion. I think if you really want to cry. Then it would be better to do so when someone born. Cry at the root, for if there were no birth, there would be no death. Can you understand this?
** {{w|Ajahn Chah}}, [https://www.ajahnchah.org/pdf/no_ajahn_chah.pdf ''No Ajahn Chah: Reflections''], 1994

* Buddhism – the ultimate attempt to put an end to birth. This is what nirvana is. &quot;There will be no more birth&quot;, would say the angel of the Buddhist Apocalypse.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Cahiers 1957-1972'', 1997

* A young monk had fallen deeply in love with a beautiful damsel. He abandoned the temple in which he lived and went to the village with the intention of declaring his love to her. Since it was already dark by the time he arrived, he checked in an inn and went to rest. That night he dreamt he had married her. He entered her chamber, made love to her... after some time they had twins. When they were thirteen years old, one of them fell into the river and drowned. The father, seized by grief, endlessly cried... and that's how he woke up, filled with tears. By morning, he retraced his steps, and headed back once more to his temple.
** [[Taisen Deshimaru]], ''Historias Zen'', 1990

* Nanda, I do not extol the production of a new existence even a little bit; nor do I extol the production of a new existence for even a moment. Why? The production of a new existence is suffering. For example, even a little [bit of ] vomit stinks. In the same way, Nanda, the production of a new existence, even a little bit, even for a moment, is suffering. Therefore, Nanda, whatever comprises birth, [namely] the arising of matter, its subsistence, its growth, and its emergence, the arising, subsistence, growth, and emergence of feeling, conceptualization, conditioning forces, and consciousness, [all that] is suffering. Subsistence is illness. Growth is old age and death. Therefore, Nanda, what contentment is there for one who is in the mother's womb wishing for existence?
**[[Gautama Buddha]], ''Garbhāvakrāntisūtra: The Sūtra on Entry Into the Womb'', the oldest version of the sutra that survived is a Chinese translation by Dharmarakṣa from 281 or 303

* Cioran is right. A truly honest and responsible man would prefer not to be born.
** Valeriu Butulescu, ''Noroi aurifer'' 

* To give birth to those&lt;br /&gt;Who can but suffer many years, and die,&lt;br /&gt;Methinks is merely propagating death,&lt;br /&gt;And multiplying murder.
** [[Lord Byron]], ''Cain'', 1821
** Description: the words of the character, Cain

==C==

* Given the contingency of our birth, all pain is unnecessary. The unnecessary pain is unbearable. ''Ergo'', having been born is unbearable. In this sense, procreation is immoral. Procreation carries moral weight; it is a problematic action. It is not, as affirmative ethics usually think, a pure fact, innocent and unsuspicious. Affirmative ethics are willing to sustain the immorality of the totality of the world solely and exclusively to save the morality of its origin. Negative ethics suggests the opposite: the rescue of the morality of the world after the discovery of the immorality of its origin (and the very problem of theodicies inverts: how is the innocence of the world compatible with divine evilness?).
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/project-of-negative-ethics/ ''Projeto de Ética Negativa''], 1989, p. 21

* Suffering is something that is, purely and simply, connected to &quot;being.&quot; Something cannot be &quot;put into operation&quot; without pain. Thus, pain is not a curse, nor a punishment, nor an anomaly, nor a maladjustment, nor a deviation, but the ''conditio sine qua non'' of being. Being is a condition of necessary suffering. Affirmative ethics, insofar as they respect the value of coherence, should not proclaim the elimination of pain as their concern.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/project-of-negative-ethics/ ''Projeto de Ética Negativa''], 1989, p. 22

* Diseases usually appear to us as something unexpected, due to the so called &quot;default&quot; state of good health. The difficulty of measuring health is in the fact that the majority of existing indicators are negative, that is, they serve to measure the absence of health. Good health, contrarily, can be seen as an accidental anomaly, not as an intrinsic attribute, and even less, as a &quot;right&quot; of humans. In the face of a disease, what we habitually call &quot;life&quot; is an effort to survive, &quot;to resist,&quot; &quot;to maintain oneself,&quot; &quot;to persist,&quot; &quot;to endure,&quot; &quot;to persevere.&quot; The fundamental ethical issue consists in that, as potential creators of another human being's life, we cannot make predictions about the mechanisms of survival of the possible being, their vulnerability to the structural pain. We have no moral right in making a standardized prediction about this vulnerability. The sinister happiness (sinister and superficial) with which our society welcomes pregnancy and birth, must necessarily confront its own ethical categories, if we are profound in our reflection.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/project-of-negative-ethics/ ''Projeto de Ética Negativa''], 1989, p. 22–23

* Our social organization uncritically ensures the morality of parenthood, and procreation is presented as a naturally positive value. By contrast, any problematization of these values will be seen as demoniac. But the reflective situation is perfectly clear: either we abandon the value of &quot;avoidance of unnecessary pain,&quot; or we problematize the uncritical morality of procreation. If the moral reflection is to be rational, to search for the truth, etc., it has to face this alternative.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/project-of-negative-ethics/ ''Projeto de Ética Negativa''], 1989, p. 28

* If freedom, according to traditional morality itself, is a fundamental ethical value, the very basis of ethics, one must be aware that the creation of a child may be the first huge disrespect of the freedom of the human person. The issue of freedom suffers here from the same problem as the issue of pain: it is a matter of ethical value that the traditional affirmative ethics is unable to radicalize.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/project-of-negative-ethics/ ''Projeto de Ética Negativa''], 1989, p. 28

* Killing someone and giving birth to someone are two violent actions through which, magically, man tries to put himself in God's place. The victim of a homicide is always helpless, but never as helpless as the victim of a birth. Childbirth spills as much innocent blood as a homicide. If procreation is a free choice, then life is fundamentally unnecessary pain.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/project-of-negative-ethics/ ''Projeto de Ética Negativa''], 1989, back cover

* In the light of natural ontology, it is not correct the argument that we do not know anything about our possible offsprings, for example, about the capacity they will have to overcome structural pain; because even we do not know, for example, whether they will enjoy traveling, working or studying classical languages, we do know they will be indigent, decadent, vacating beings who will start dying since birth, who will face and be characterized by systematic dysfunctions, who will have to constitute their own beings as beings-against-the-others – in the sense of dealing with aggressiveness and having to discharge it over others – who will lose those they love and be lost by those who love them, and time will take everything they manage to build.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [http://repositorio.unb.br/bitstream/10482/17430/3/Livro_CritiqueAffirmativeMorality.pdf ''A critique of affirmative morality (A reflection on death, birth and the value of life)''], 1996, p. 54

* We undoubtedly would not morally justify the behavior of someone who sent a colleague to a dangerous situation by saying: &quot;I sent him there because I know he is strong and he will manage well&quot;. The &quot;strengths&quot; of the newborn do not relieve in anything the moral responsibility of the procreator. Anyone would answer: &quot;This is irrelevant. Your role in the matter consisted of sending people to a situation you know was difficult and painful and you could avoid it. Your predictions about their reacting manners do not decrease in anything your responsibility&quot;. In the case of procreation, the reasoning could be the same, and in a notorious emphatic way, since in any intra-worldly situation with already existing people in which we send someone to a position known as painful, the other one could always run away from pain to the extent his being is already in the world and he could predict danger and try to avoid being exposed to a disregarding and manipulative maneuver. In the case of the one who is being born, by contrast, this is not possible at all because it is precisely his very being that is being manufactured and used. Concerning birth, therefore, manipulation seems to be total.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [http://repositorio.unb.br/bitstream/10482/17430/3/Livro_CritiqueAffirmativeMorality.pdf ''A critique of affirmative morality (A reflection on death, birth and the value of life)''], 1996, p. 54–55

* Thus, whoever has said to procreate for love, as others kill for hate, might have said a truth, but, no doubt, this person has not given any moral justification for procreation. Saying you have had a child &quot;for love&quot; is a manner of saying you have had him or her compulsively, according to the wild rhythms of life. In a similar way, we might intensely love our parents and, at the same time, consider fatherhood ethically-rationally problematic, and visualize we have been manipulated by them. I may continue to love after having detected immorality, there is nothing contradictory on that. Neither would morally justify a homicide saying we have done it for hate, nor a suicide saying we have done it &quot;for hate against ourselves&quot;. Something can continue to be ethically problematic even when guided by love.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [http://repositorio.unb.br/bitstream/10482/17430/3/Livro_CritiqueAffirmativeMorality.pdf ''A critique of affirmative morality (A reflection on death, birth and the value of life)''], 1996, p. 59

* People proclaim that &quot;the experience of parenthood is extraordinary&quot; and recommend it to all (and denigrate those who have not gone through it). But we can wonder: &quot;Extraordinary for whom?&quot; It is certainly extraordinary for the parents. When they say that not only they will be happy and satisfied with the experience but also their children, they do not realize the immense asymmetry and mismatch between these two experiences, the experience of creating and of being created. The created child is compelled to accept the experience, to make it good and interesting (and even extraordinary); what other option would they have? This obligation is not present in the parents, where the &quot;extraordinary&quot; nature of the experience is part of an engaging and unilateral project. The situations of both parties are not comparable. Thus, when some reply: &quot;There is no sense in you wanting to show that life is bad; you cannot decide for your child; maybe they will like to live,&quot; what does that mean? Of course, in a sense, they are compelled to like life! But this &quot;liking&quot; will always be a desperate acceptance. The created child is not in a position of really liking life. They could like it if they had really chosen to come into being. Faced with the fait accompli, they are forced to cling desperately to life. Either they &quot;like it&quot; or they will be destroyed (by a mental illness, or by the hostility of others).
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/09/28/first-chapter-of-because-i-love-you-you-will-not-be-born/ ''Porque te amo, não nascerás! Nascituri te salutant''], 2009, pp. 25–26

* Would a genuinely rational agent choose to be born? My argument against R. M. Hare can be reread in the &quot;Critique of Affirmative Morality&quot;. . . . There I suggest that in the experiment where the non-being is magically consulted about their possible birth, Hare is mistaken in assuming uncritically that &quot;they&quot; would undoubtedly choose to be born. (This is the usual affirmative trend.) Let us suppose that we are talking about a human being, that is, a rational creature capable of pondering reasons. The information that is given to this possible being in Hare's experiment is incomplete and biased. We should also tell them that if they are born, they will have no guarantee of being born without problems; that if they manage to be born without problems, they will almost surely suffer from many intra-worldly evils; that if they manage to avoid them (and this is possible in the intra-world, even if difficult), we cannot give them any guarantee about the length of their life nor about the kind of death they will have, and they will also have to suffer the death of those they come to love and their death will be suffered by those who love them (if they are lucky enough to love someone and to be loved by someone, which is also not guaranteed). They must be told that if they manage to avoid a violent accidental death, they will decay in a few years (just as the people they love and care about), and that they have a high chance of becoming a terminally ill patient who could suffer terribly until the time of their demise. If it is still possible for the non-being, after having assimilated all this information, to choose to be born, could we not harbor well-founded doubts about their quality as a &quot;rational agent&quot;?
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/09/28/first-chapter-of-because-i-love-you-you-will-not-be-born/ ''Porque te amo, não nascerás! Nascituri te salutant''], 2009, pp. 70–71

* Philosophers have always spoken of life as a &quot;preparation for death,&quot; and of philosophy as a &quot;learning to die.&quot; But there is a wisdom prior to that: learning to abstain; not putting anyone in the situation of having to learn to die. 
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/09/28/first-chapter-of-because-i-love-you-you-will-not-be-born/ ''Porque te amo, não nascerás! Nascituri te salutant''], 2009, p. 79

* MV says that the rejection of life appears in later states, but that at the time of birth, and already before, everything is acceptance of life. But, is this so?? What can be said of the outcry with which children are born, of the primordial cry, of the first traumatic contact (studied by Freud) with the world? Is the child's outcry not already his first philosophical opinion about the world? Why is he not born laughing, or at least calm? When the baby is dumped into the world at the time of childbirth, his first reaction is pessimistic, a protest against disregard and disturbance, an initial outcry that he did not have to learn, as he will have to learn to laugh in the first few weeks or even months of life (which already marks, in the very inaugural act of being, the pessimistic asymmetry: the baby learns to laugh, but is born crying); the baby is born, forced by the desires of others, in an initial desperation, in a cry of deep and abysmal helplessness, in a primordial terror that, immediately, through movements, caresses, comforts, etc., adults will try to soften; movements that will be repeated throughout his life: initial despair followed by protective comforts; but the comforts are posterior to the despair; the despair comes first, and the comforts are the reactions. They are not on the same level. Asymmetry!
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2018/04/29/about-the-intellectual-and-existential-superiority-of-pessimism-over-optimism-reply-to-marcus-valerio/ ''Acerca da superioridade intelectual e existencial do pessimismo sobre o otimismo (replica a Marcus Valério)''], 2010, pp. 24–25

* The parent knows perfectly well that they are giving a product of dubious quality only for their own accomplishment and happiness; in admitting that the person may want to return it, they themselves fully understand the dubious nature of the gift. 
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2018/04/29/about-the-intellectual-and-existential-superiority-of-pessimism-over-optimism-reply-to-marcus-valerio/ ''Acerca da superioridade intelectual e existencial do pessimismo sobre o otimismo (replica a Marcus Valério)''], 2010, p. 28
** Description: about procreation and suicide.

* Regretting having to die should be structurally identical to regretting being born, because it is not in our power being born in a non-mortal way.  
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [http://philosopherjuliocabrera.blogspot.com/2011/05/negative-ethics.html ''Between two deaths: from born death to dead death''], 2011 

* The best would have been not to be born. Not being born is, in a negative ethics, the absolute good; but it is, precisely, the good that cannot be sought. (Attention: the situation is more radical than in the case of goods that can be sought but never achieved; not being born cannot even be sought).
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8lRhEwzaxOlckVlNG1RVjNPdHc/view ''Summary of the ethical question in Julio Cabrera's Philosophy''], 2014, p. 8

* People talk about the &quot;wonderful experience of parenthood&quot;. Have you ever wondered why it is so wonderful? It may be wonderful because it is very manipulative; manipulating gives a lot of pleasure, because you have a person in your hands. When the child is small you wear it as you want, comb as you want, cut the hair, put on the table, as I have frequently seen it. The adults play with the child, people who would have no subject of conversation or interaction, when their empty, insignificant gray lives would come to light, the child saves them.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6DiB3OtFu4 ''Birth as a bioethical problem: first steps towards a radical bioethics''], 2018, 44:38–45:22 min.

* The moral tradition says: we have many natural tendencies, but as ethical human beings we have to try to overcome natural impulses. For example, we are naturally violent; human beings are naturally very selfish, trying to focus their decisions on themselves, but ethics is always saying: you have to fight against these natural tendencies. You cannot be all the violent that nature commands, you cannot be everything selfish that nature asks for. So if you tell me that procreation is natural, being natural does not show it to be moral. On the contrary, forgotten Brazilian philosophers like Tobias Barreto put exactly the opposite. Tobias Barreto thought that when something is natural it is bad, and we have to fight it. (The enslavement of one people over others is natural, but it is cultural that slavery must not exist.) So do not tell me that procreation is natural and so we have to do it. All human morality is unnatural; all human morality is artificial, just as our feeding systems in our sophisticated restaurants are also artificial and unnatural. What is the animal that eats the way we eat? Even our sexuality is artificial; it is not purely instinctual, but largely symbolic. If you had that argument in your sleeve, you would still have to show that what comes from nature is moral, because there are many arguments showing that what comes from nature can be opposite of morality.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6DiB3OtFu4 ''Birth as a bioethical problem: first steps towards a radical bioethics''], 2018, 47:49–49:30 min.

* Of course, the possibility of the newborn not having the strength to endure the life struggle is just a possibility, not a necessity. However, the point is that its mere possibility is enough for moral imputation. There are no strong causal relations between methods of education and raising of children to shape their destinies in life. As they say, a child is &quot;a lottery&quot;. The precautions that progenitors take to avoid certain risks for their children could be precisely the ones that expose them to greater danger. The many human lives that end catastrophically seem to illustrate the very high price to be paid in an attempt to ethically justify the &quot;gamble&quot; of procreation, even if made in the most serious way by the sensitive procreator. However, it is important that even when none of these catastrophes occurs, the success of the newborn in life does not exempt the progenitors from the moral responsibility of having put him at risk of falling victim to one of these calamities. Moreover, even for the child who has &quot;won&quot; the gamble, his &quot;success&quot; will remain forever and indefinitely connected to the unilateral nature of the procreative act. The gamble will have been won, but this will never be the child's own bet. The newborn may get lucky and &quot;win the gamble&quot;, but he was never in a position to refuse to enter into the competition.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Discomfort and Moral Impediment: The Human Situation, Radical Bioethics and Procreation'', 2018, p. 151

* All of the inescapable and tyrannical bodily necessities are already presented to the baby in the form of new cries and sufferings. Progenitors will become increasingly conscious of this and they will keep saying: “He’s crying; maybe he’s hungry”; “He’s crying; maybe he's cold”; “He’s crying; maybe he’s tired”, without ever arriving at the ominous “He’s crying because he was born”.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Discomfort and Moral Impediment: The Human Situation, Radical Bioethics and Procreation'', 2018, pp. 162-163

* Small children continue crying for many years; they cry and cry. This is a very usual spectacle that we constantly observe in the streets, children crying incessantly, most of the time met with a wall of indifference from adults, or else with laughter or impatience. Crying children often bother us, but we have to make a philosophical effort to understand that, from an ethical point of view, they are perfectly right, they have the right to cry. Moved by their tears, we have to accept their vindication, even if cries are strident and bothersome; we must learn to see children’s crying as ethical responses or instinctive political facts, as a perfectly fair and understandable reaction to what was done to them. Children’s tears must provoke our most profound respect, because they come from the depths of their structural helplessness, of their being made by force.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Discomfort and Moral Impediment: The Human Situation, Radical Bioethics and Procreation'', 2018, p. 163

* Some children go on crying until they are quite old, later finding other forms of protest. A small child is a hive of explosive and irresistible needs, aspirations and desires. There is nothing a child says more than: “I want, I want, I want”. Children are constantly torn by desires they are now forced to manage in order to endure the life that was asymmetrically imposed on them, and to which they are compelled to live. The progenitors will deny their children most of what their offspring believe they must have, by telling them that the world does not revolve around their wants, ironically as these same parents endowed their children with bodies full of insatiable desires. Children constantly fall prey to their desires, especially under the multiple forms of painful expectations, discouragements and boredom, which require their parents to shield their offspring from the mortal danger of the being given at birth. This is, of course, the role of toys and of the entire paraphernalia of objects that parents are now compelled to put between their small children and the terminal being they have imposed on them. In the streets and in shopping malls, we see small children crying loudly, asking for this or that, being dragged away by irritated, placid or excessively attentive parents, or indifferent ones, who have neither the sensibility nor the patience to attend to their children’s complaints, unhearing and absentminded, as if the small ones’ demands were irrelevant and did not deserve attention. One may say that a few minutes later the child will be smiling or laughing again; but note that this happens just for a while when he finds some type of distraction, something that diverts his attention for a short period of time.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Discomfort and Moral Impediment: The Human Situation, Radical Bioethics and Procreation'', 2018, p. 163

* When someone (including philosophers) defends the alleged beauty of &quot;having children&quot;, they refer to the pleasure of &quot;seeing them grow up&quot;: first as children, then adolescents, then graduated and independent adults (this happens not only in wealthy classes but also, in part, in more modest ones). However, it is strange that, when they speak about children, they inexplicably stop at this point and never refer to their decline, their aging, or their decay; perhaps because they think they will not be there to contemplate this decline. The parents prefer not to see the end of this process, as if the child vanished into thin air. The residual aspect of parenthood is omitted; only the flourishing aspects of the child are visualized. The death of the child-residue is denied any visibility. The consummation of the processes is concealed as something dirty and indecent, not worthy to be shown.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Mal-Estar e Moralidade: Situação Humana, Ética e Procriação Responsável'', 2018, p. 306

* It is very curious that it is sometimes considered cruel or inhumane to raise the issue of the ethics of procreation, as if this showed a rejection of the unborn children, a kind of hatred for their lives. This is a total deformation of the intentions of an ethical reflection on procreation. On the contrary, this reflection is motivated by a deep concern for the possible children, due to the risk of their emergence being the consequence of a thoughtless, constraining and aggressive act towards small defenseless beings, on whom one thinks to have full right to plan everything about their lives to our full desire and satisfaction. A great part of the revolt that awakens in the adult world due to the simple mention of this issue indicates that the parents obtain a great pleasure in the procreative act, and react – sometimes angrily – against those who question this powerful source of pleasure, and consequently the immense power over the one who is going to be born. This total power over another life is intensely seductive and no one wants to give it up. But in the ethical reflection, whatever the subject matter is, it is never an issue of evaluating only the satisfaction we get from our actions, but of pondering whether what we do is right or not, whether the power we can accumulate over more defenseless beings is or is not ethically justified.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Mal-Estar e Moralidade: Situação Humana, Ética e Procriação Responsável'', 2018, p. 463

* What is most curious is that humans of poorer classes are usually the ones who cultivate an unlimited adoration for their mother for having raised them with so many sacrifices. They suffer all kinds of misery, extreme poverty, disease, delinquency, discrimination, exclusion and torture, never realizing that it was their parents who put them in that situation for their own pleasure or due to irresponsible carelessness. And when the child commits some harmful act driven by the despair in which they were placed, people still sympathize with the &quot;poor mother&quot; for having a child that is &quot;so ungrateful&quot;. All inherited misery magically becomes the child's responsibility! The same argumentative scheme which is applied here, is also applied in the theodicies: the impeccable Parent created their child out of love, gave them something very valuable, and also made them &quot;free&quot;, while the child, being free, sinned, thus behaved wrongly and defiled this very valuable thing which was given to them, causing dissatisfaction for their unfortunate parent. It is an almost tragicomic scheme, because it is the exact opposite that seems to be true: our parents gave us, for their own pleasure and benefit, something of very dubious value which we, as a result of subjection and necessity – that is, very far from any real &quot;freedom&quot; – have to try to improve with a lot of our effort. As long as we do not reverse this prevailing valuation in our societies, ethical issues cannot even begin to be seriously considered, because the mother's viscerally egocentric and manipulative relationship with their children will continue to be regarded as a paradigm of ethical morality, which seems, at least, to be a crucial error of appreciation, a very serious mythology, a colossal mystification.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Mal-estar e Moralidade: Situação humana, Ética e Procriação Responsável'', 2018, pp. 538-539

* The &quot;eternal gratitude&quot; is present not only in the early stages of life, but throughout children's long dependence upon their parents during the first ten years of life — in which they are even objects of exhibition — and in the harsh period of adolescence, in which children are endlessly treated as &quot;ungrateful&quot;, as if they were never able to repay their immense debt; everything that is bought for them, for their future, their studies, all those things that the child never asked for, which are part of an affective and economic investment of the parents, is endlessly and for long and hard years, presented as proof of sacrifice and love, as an object of eternal gratitude, never fully repaid by the ungrateful children. The position of parenthood constitutes a powerful mechanism of domination in which even the physical violence of punishments and beatings is justified in favor of the never-requested raising of that being who was thrown into the world, with parents trying to build protections so that their child is not destroyed by the immense gift they just received.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Mal-estar e Moralidade: Situação Humana, Ética e Procriação Responsável'', 2018, pp. 539-540

* Man's greatest crime on earth is the fatal fact of birth.
** [[Pedro Calderón de la Barca]], ''La vida es sueño'', 1635

* Non-living matter, being purely objective, is oblivious to the subjective phenomena that torment living creatures, that is, free from any and all suffering, in a state of perfect serenity. It does not makes sense to try to be &quot;mean&quot; with inanimate matter. There is no way to torture rocks by throwing them off cliffs, hammering them, etc. There is only one way to make matter suffer: by transforming it into a living being. It follows that, even from an objective point of view, we can find moral implications in reproduction, since it condemns matter to suffer needlessly in the form of a living being driven by afflictions and needs, only to later return to the same situation in which it initially found itself, without any meaning or benefit to it. From this perspective, we do not claim that reproduction is wrong, only that it is cruel. We affirm that, objectively, to live is to suffer. However, we do not draw subjective conclusions from this. Whether or not it is worth living is a different and subjective question, which refers to the value we attach to life. The immorality lies in the fact that the value of life is an issue that can only be considered by those who are already alive. When we reproduce, we impose our personal conclusions on someone who cannot even defend himself. Naturally, it is not a transcendental and absolute morality, but one relative to life. It can be understood as objective in the sense of referring to something that necessarily occurs, due to the very nature of life, due to the conditions imposed on subjective existence when inserted in the determinations of the objective world. Therefore, let us not confuse this observation with moral preaching about right and wrong, right and duty, etc. We are only concerned with objectively describing the physical consequences of the equally physical phenomenon of bringing into existence a new consciousness that will be haunted by the restlessness that moves life.
** André Cancian, ''[https://www.academia.edu/41872748/O_Vazio_da_M%C3%A1quina_-_Niilismo_e_outros_abismos O Vazio da Máquina: Niilismo e outros abismos]'', 2009, pp. 289-290 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-8590555827}}&lt;/small&gt;

* In this perspective, reproduction makes us the only ones responsible for creating suffering in the world. Without us, there would be no pain. But there is, and it's our fault. Objectively, pain is not a bad thing, but it is subjectively. We, as living beings, have pain as the supreme reference point for everything that is undesirable. Our objective, biological nature imposes this condition on us. Just as pleasure is good, pain is bad - whether physical, emotional or psychological. Let the relativists stand up, with their crazy theories about the “arbitrariness” of the issue: we would like to see them believe this while we insert spikes under their nails. The presence of pain as something positively undesirable is an essential requirement for life to be sustainable, it is a condition imposed objectively on the survival machines that we are. Pain makes us efficient organisms, and without it we would not function properly, we would just die painlessly for ignoring the dangers that surround us. This means that when we make all the pain that exists on earth appear out of nothingness, when we put matter in the only condition in which it can suffer, that is, when we transform it into a living being, we become positively evil, responsible for the dissemination of suffering. Thus, intentional reproduction makes us perverse and immoral beings, and this in a purely objective sense, because it is a universally valid judgment, whatever the circumstances in which we find ourselves. As long as there is pain in existence, as long as life involves suffering, the act of reproducing means collaborating with its growth, perpetuating this misfortune, actively endeavoring to make the world a more painful and pitiful place.
** André Cancian, ''[https://www.academia.edu/41872748/O_Vazio_da_M%C3%A1quina_-_Niilismo_e_outros_abismos O Vazio da Máquina: Niilismo e outros abismos]'', 2009, p. 290 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-8590555827}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Obviously, we have the freedom to be as evil and selfish as we want, but we cannot deny that we are guilty of being so; there is no way to be innocent of this accusation. Originally, that life did not exist, never existed, and would have remained non-existent, if only we did not have the admirable idea of ​​ejaculating in a womb and making it appear out of nothingness to then claim that their suffering &quot;is not our problem&quot;, that we are not responsible because it is “natural”. Now, even a theologian could not take such a lame excuse seriously. The objection that procreation does not necessarily make us evil because suffering occurs in life in a natural and inevitable way is not justified because, although we cannot change life's intimate constitution, we have the choice to reproduce or not. He who is born, on the contrary, cannot choose whether to come into the world or not, just as we had no choice regarding our own birth. We may or may not have children. However, when we decide to have them, this choice makes us positively evil, gratuitously cruel. We, as an insomnia of matter, harm that which sleeps deeply only to share our lack of sleep, to feel less bored with our embarrassingly futile existences.
** André Cancian, ''[https://www.academia.edu/41872748/O_Vazio_da_M%C3%A1quina_-_Niilismo_e_outros_abismos O Vazio da Máquina: Niilismo e outros abismos]'', 2009, pp. 290-291 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-8590555827}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Undoubtedly, the reproductive drive has deep biological roots, but this does not free us from guilt either. Of course, it was not us who invented life and its rules, but it was us who propagated it. We intentionally created a life in circumstances where we ''knew'' that suffering would be unavoidable. The impulse of aggression often leads us to commit crimes, but we do not fail to consider it reprehensible. It is something equally instinctive and natural, rooted in us as deeply as the sexual impulse. The difference is that, in the case of procreation, our aggression will materialize nine months later, as if planting a time bomb in the heart of nothingness.
** André Cancian, ''[https://www.academia.edu/41872748/O_Vazio_da_M%C3%A1quina_-_Niilismo_e_outros_abismos O Vazio da Máquina: Niilismo e outros abismos]'', 2009, p. 291 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-8590555827}}&lt;/small&gt;

* The situation we have is basically the following: an individual deliberately inflicts great physical, emotional and psychological suffering on someone else in the hope of diminishing his own, and the victim will never be able to defend himself from such aggression, except through suicide. Logically, the pain will not be caused directly by us, but by the circumstances in which we place the individual. However, this could have been avoided with any cheap condom. To cause great pain to an innocent person, just to achieve a small reduction of our own, is a vile and revolting act. We could, without a doubt, feel entitled to demand reparation for such injustice, for having been placed in this unworthy and degrading situation. It would make sense to receive compensation for the inconvenience of being born, but this is something that, as was said, nature has already wisely provided in the form of an instinct to protect the offspring. Parental love is the indemnity that children receive from their parents for having placed them in the world.
** André Cancian, ''[https://www.academia.edu/41872748/O_Vazio_da_M%C3%A1quina_-_Niilismo_e_outros_abismos O Vazio da Máquina: Niilismo e outros abismos]'', 2009, pp. 291-292 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-8590555827}}&lt;/small&gt;

* When we give up on having children, we give up a small and dubious personal satisfaction to prevent the emergence of great suffering. If we can exercise a minimum of compassion for what, according to ourselves, will be the sole object of our love and dedication, we will see that, by not reproducing, we will be putting into practice the only possible kindness toward our children. Let us be comforted to know that, because they were not born, in our dreams they will always be sleeping in their rooms, under blankets as soft as the embrace of the one whose love would never allow them to suffer, and thereby protected them from existence. They remain comfortable, serene, in peace, with a half-smile on their lips for never having tasted the bitterness and disappointment of life. They will always remain pure, eternally free from the dangers of the world. This is the true meaning of giving up one's life in favor of one's children.
** André Cancian, ''[https://www.academia.edu/41872748/O_Vazio_da_M%C3%A1quina_-_Niilismo_e_outros_abismos O Vazio da Máquina: Niilismo e outros abismos]'', 2009, p. 294 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-8590555827}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Very good and deep is the thought: &quot;Nobody would accept life as a gift if they could decide.&quot; Seneca was the one who said it and I am in agreement with him. Imagine a preexistent soul, in all its tranquility, which is informed of what the life of man entails and the evils to which they are subject – it would refuse to enter a body.
** [[Giacomo Casanova]], ''Dialogues sur le suicide'', 1782

* Satan, unable by his very nature to take possession of a spiritual element enclosed in the body, can at most delay its release from the body. This process of delaying is done by procreation: &quot;All flesh comes out of copulation. That is why it is impure.&quot;
** {{w|Jean Duvernoy}}, ''La religion des cathares'', 1976

* &quot;The fruit forbidden to our forefathers was nothing but the pleasures of a carnal intercourse, and Adam gave this fruit to his wife.&quot; In fact, &quot;it is not because of a good God that flowers bloom and cereal produces seeds, and people and animals multiply, but this is because of an evil god.&quot;
** {{w|Jean Duvernoy}}, ''La religion des cathares'', 1976

* It is understandable that the birth of a child chained a new soul to the earth and perpetuated the rule of Satan. The Perfect One sighs: &quot;May God grant that there will be no more children, that all souls will be saved and that the reign of Evil will be overthrown.&quot;
** {{w|René Nelli}}, ''La Vie quotidienne des Cathares du Languedoc au xiiie siècle'', 1979

* Regarding sexual intercourse, their position was that any form of intercourse was acceptable (and, according to some, celebrated), so long as it did not result in procreation.
** {{w|John M. Riddle}}, ''Contraception and Abortion from the Ancient World to the Renaissance'', 1994
** Description: about cathars.

* Cathars believed the whole of humanity, and each man individually, is the children of Satan. Why, then, serve their reproduction, if not for the duplication of suffering, and the triumph of Satan?
** Katarzyna Skrzypiec, [http://www.mowiawieki.pl/index.php?page=artykul&amp;id=136 ''Sekretna wieczerza, czyli o heretykach budzących sympatię''], 2009

* The Cathar troubadours with an unknown then refinement loved beautiful French and Italian women. At the same time, they were unequaled promoters of the idea of &quot;pure&quot; love, i.e. love that does not lead to pregnancy. The Cathars thought that the devil had &quot;equipped children of this world with the seed&quot;; they identified the conception with the spawn of satan, they were cursing pregnant women.
** {{w|Roman Tokarczyk}}, ''Prawa narodzin, życia i śmierci'', 2012

* As long as they have the wish to kill, they will not lose the lust to procreate.
** [[Guido Ceronetti]], ''The Silence of the Body: Materials for the Study of Medicine'', 1979

* Man dares to allow himself to be cruel, when he's already committed, tranquilly and repeatedly, the crudest act of all: engendering, condemning beings that do not exist or suffer to the horrors of life.
** [[Guido Ceronetti]], ''The Silence of the Body: Materials for the Study of Medicine'', 1979

* The immorality of procreation praised as conscious is this: here the crime of making a man, to introduce more evil and pain in the world is not made unconsciously in ecstasy and drama in the darkness of copulation, but is coolly premeditated, people then are no longer cautious and repeat the act until they reach the goal. But there is something even worse: artificial procreation, semen ice, where without the manipulator and the belly person horrified by what they do, lacks even the delight that is some extenuating circumstance.
** [[Guido Ceronetti]], ''The Silence of the Body: Materials for the Study of Medicine'', 1979

* Oh, the suppliers of live meat to furnaces of pain!
** [[Guido Ceronetti]], ''La carta e stanca: Una scelta'', 2000

* The unforgivable betrayal of philosophy: procreation.
**[[Guido Ceronetti]], ''L'occhio del barbagianni'', 2014

* Unfortunately for mankind—and perhaps fortunately for tyrants—the poor and downtrodden lack the instinct or pride of the elephant, who refuses to breed in captivity.
** [[Nicolas Chamfort]], ''Maximes et Pensées'', #509

* After the misfortune of being born, I do not know any greater than giving birth.
** [[François-René de Chateaubriand]], [https://fr.wikisource.org/wiki/M%C3%A9moires_d%E2%80%99outre-tombe ''Mémoires d'outre-tombe''], 1849

* We should do what we can to minimize the suffering of those animals already in existence, but we should also consider ending the breeding of captive animals. This will ensure that fewer suffering sentient beings are created, thus decreasing the overall amount of suffering. 
** Sayma H. Chowdhury, Todd K. Shackelford, ''To Breed, or Not to Breed?: An Antinatalist Answer to the Question of Animal Welfare'', 2017

* Best by far not to be born, and not to come up against these rocks of life, but, if you are born, is it next best to escape as it were from fire of fortune as quickly as possible.
** [[Marcus Tullius Cicero]], ''Consolation'', 45 BC

* Is it possible that existence is our exile and nothingness our home? 
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Pe culmile disperării'', 1934

* What sin have you committed to be born, what crime to exist?
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''A Short History of Decay'', 1949

* To procreate is to love the scourge – to seek to maintain and to augment it. They were right, those ancient philosophers who identified fire with the principle of the universe, and with desire, for desire burns, devours: annihilates: At once agent and destroyer of beings, it is somber, it is infernal by essence.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The New Gods'', 1969

* Nothing is a better proof of how far humanity has regressed than the impossibility of finding a single nation, a single tribe, among whom birth still provokes mourning and lamentations.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* If attachment is an evil, we must look for its cause in the scandal of birth, for to be born is to be attached. Detachment then should apply itself to getting rid of the traces of this scandal, the most serious and intolerable of all.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* Everything is wonderfully clear if we admit that birth is a disastrous or at least an inopportune event; but if we think otherwise, we must resign ourselves to the unintelligible, or else cheat like everyone else.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* If it is true that by death we once more become what we were before being, would it not have been better to abide by that pure possibility, not to stir from it? What use was this detour, when we might have remained forever in an unrealized plenitude?
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* I was alone in that cemetery overlooking the village when a pregnant woman came in. I left at once, in order not to look at this corpse-bearer at close range, nor to ruminate upon the contrast between an aggressive womb and the time-worn tombs-between a false promise and the end of all promises.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* That faint light in each of us which dates back to before our birth, to before all births, is what must be protected if we want to rejoin that remote glory from which we shall never know why we were separated.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* When every man has realized that his birth is a defeat, existence, endurable at last, will seem like the day after a surrender, like the relief and the repose of the conquered.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* Not to be born is undoubtedly the best plan of all. Unfortunately it is within no one's reach.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* I have said more than once that one can have a post-sexual vision of the world, the most desperate vision that is possible: the feeling of having invested everything in something that was not worth it. The extraordinary thing is that we are dealing with a reversible infinity. Sexuality is an immense imposture, a gigantic falsehood that invariably renews itself. 
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Entretiens'', 1995

* The only reason why I flatter myself, is that I understood very early, before the age of twenty, that one should not procreate. My disgust towards marriage, family and all social conventions has its source in this. Crime is to transmit one's frailties to someone else, to force someone to experience the same things we are experiencing, to force someone to the Way of the Cross that may be worse than our own. I could never agree to give life to someone who inherits misfortunes and evil. All parents are irresponsible people, or murderers. Procreation should belong only to beasts. Pity makes you not want to be a &quot;progenitor&quot;. This is the cruelest word I know of.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Cahiers 1957-1972'', 1997

* Once again, I want to pray, cry. dissolve, be nothing, return to the initial zero from before birth.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Cahiers 1957-1972'', 1997

* With what I know, with what I feel, I could not give life to someone without falling into a total contradiction with myself, without being intellectually dishonest and without committing a moral crime. It is interesting that this attitude in me is really old, as I'd had it before crystallizing my thoughts on this subject. I started feeling disgust towards procreation very early; it was an answer to my horror; not only: to the horror of life and the thirst for it. I never accepted sex other than for pleasure. Its proper function always created in me an insurmountable aversion. I would never voluntarily agree to take responsibility for life.
**[[Emil Cioran]], ''Cahiers 1957-1972'', 1997

* The problem of responsibility would make sense only if we were asked for an opinion before our birth and if we agreed to be the ones we are.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Cahiers 1957-1972'', 1997

* It is the stroke of midnight. I feel lonely in the face of despair stronger than me. And again I take refuge in the time before I was born.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Cahiers 1957-1972'', 1997

* I do not hate life or desire death, I only regret being born. I prefer non-birth from life and death. The bliss of non-birth. The longer I live, the more willingly I give myself to the joy of non-birth.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Cahiers 1957-1972'', 1997

* In her novel The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas, Ursula K. le Guin describes a city where the good fortune of the citizens requires that an innocent child is tortured in a secret place (le Guin 1973). The child stands symbolically for the innocence of extreme suﬀerers. The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas are the people who deny the world. We will associate them with Buddhist monks in this paper, i.e., with childlessness and retreat. The metaphor suggests that individual happiness is ambivalent. The joy of the majority is at the cost of a suﬀering minority; one is not possible without the other. There is no doubt that the human suﬀering in this world is caused by procreation, but the relation is indirect. Parents participate in an immensely complex system of interactions and probabilities. Often a contingent event decides who becomes a victim. As a consequence, participants deny the responsibility for the results of the system – a phenomenon which is also known in the context of structural violence (Galtung 1969). If the human race were a sympathetic race, it could walk away from Omelas.
** Bruno Contestabile, [http://www.socrethics.com/Folder2/WorldDenial.htm ''The Denial of the World from an Impartial View''], 2016

* Things change in an instant. Two things, however, are certain. Everyone will suffer. And everyone will die. Back to where we came from. Knowing this, and understanding full well that any particular life embodies the potential for experiencing extreme pain and unhappiness unceasing in some cases is procreation really worth the risk?
** Jim Crawford, ''Confessions of an Antinatalist'', 2010

* If a child, for whose existence I was responsible, were to ask me why he or she were here, what happens after death, whether I could guarantee he or she would not suffer a fate like that [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Junko_Furuta Furuta Junko] suffered in 1988/89 (please look it up, as there's no room to describe it), what would I say? To me, the fact I have no answers that would not be guesswork, evasion or dogma indicates that having children is selfish and cruel.
**{{w|Quentin S. Crisp}}, [http://www.litfmag.com/issue-2/antinatalism-a-thought-experiment/ ''Antinatalism: A Thought Experiment''], 2014

* Murder is the curtailing of a life that would have ended anyway; having a child creates a death that would never have been.
** {{w|Quentin S. Crisp}}, [http://www.litfmag.com/issue-2/antinatalism-a-thought-experiment/ ''Antinatalism: A Thought Experiment''], 2014

* Whoever trusts us will remain single; those who do not trust us will rear children. And if the race of men should cease to exist there would be as much cause for regret as there would be if the flies and wasps should pass away.
** Unknown, ''Cynic epistles, 47th Letter''
** Description: a sentence from a collection of letters expounding the principles and practices of cynic philosophy (wrongly attributed to Diogenes).

==D==

* This great senseless, wasteful, cruel spawning of life upon the earth! I see not only its pain, but its pleasures, and its joys annoy me more than its sorrows, for I don't want to lose them.
** [[Clarence Darrow]], [https://ia802606.us.archive.org/15/items/islifeworthlivin910star/islifeworthlivin910star_jpg.pdf ''Is Life Worth Living?''], 1925

* Nature knows nothing about right and wrong, good and evil, pleasure and pain; she simply acts. She creates a beautiful woman, and places a cancer on her cheek. She may create an idealist, and kill him with a germ. She creates a fine mind, and then burdens it with a deformed body. And she will create a fine body, apparently for no use whatever. She may destroy the most wonderful life when its work has just commenced. She may scatter tubercular germs broadcast throughout the world. She seemingly works with no method, plan or purpose. She knows no mercy nor goodness. Nothing is so cruel and abandoned as Nature. To call her tender or charitable is a travesty upon words and a stultification of intellect. No one can suggest these obvious facts without being told that he is not competent to judge Nature and the God behind Nature. If we must not judge God as evil, then we cannot judge God as good. In all the other affairs of life, man never hesitates to classify and judge, but when it comes to passing on life, and the responsibility of life, he is told that it must be good, although the opinion beggars reason and intelligence and is a denial of both. Emotionally, I shall no doubt act as others do to the last moment of my existence. With my last breath I shall probably try to draw another, but, intellectually, I am satisfied that life is a serious burden, which no thinking, humane person would wantonly inflict on some one else.
** [[Clarence Darrow]], [http://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks05/0500951h.html ''The Story of My Life''], 1932

* To spare you all that I have seen,&lt;br /&gt;The losses I have sustained,&lt;br /&gt;I withstood the human impulse within.
** Sa'd Darweesh, ''I've committed no such crime!: A Conversation with My Unborn Son'', ''Fathers and sons in the Arab Middle East'', 2013

* There is no need here to detail again his thoughts on the futility of procreation and mankind's strange urge to reproduce. The child's constant wailing, however, moves him to infer that he (or she, as the case may be) is sickly and weak, and to remark with bitter irony, &quot;The first present he received from his loving parents is weakness and ill-health.&quot;
** Jutta E. Knorzer, ''Ali Dashti's Prison Days: Life Under Reza Shah'', 1994
** Desciription: about Ali Dashti.

* Celebrating a birthday is nothing but celebration because of a sinister farce that our parents arranged for us by bringing us to the world.
** {{w|Alexandra David-Néel}}, ''La Lampe de sagesse'', 1986

* No, I would not like it if there was no end, it is literally something we can influence: a peaceful end to humanity. Let no one – this is the first thing I wish – become a parent anymore. It does not hurt the unborn, and saves them a lot of trouble.
** [[Karlheinz Deschner]], ''Frommer Wunsch. Für ein friedliches Ende der Menschheit'', in: Peter Roos and Friederike Hassauer, ''Kinderwunsch. Reden und Gegenreden'', 1991

* In fact, what right did this Nature have to bring me into the world as a result of some eternal law of hers? I was created with consciousness, and I was conscious of this Nature: what right did she have to produce me, a conscious being, without my willing it? A conscious being, and thus a suﬀering one; but I do not want to suﬀer, for why would I have agreed to that? . . . And finally, even if one were to admit the possibility of this fairy tale of a human society at long last organized on earth on rational and scientifc bases; if one were to believe in this, to believe in the future happiness of people at long last, then the mere thought that some implacable laws of Nature made it essential to torment the human race for a thousand years before allowing it to attain that happiness that thought alone is unbearably loathsome. Now add the fact that this very same Nature, which has permitted humanity at last to attain happiness, tomorrow will find it necessary for some reason to reduce it all to zero, despite the suffering with which humanity has paid for this happiness; and, more important, that Nature does all this without concealing anything from me and my consciousness as she hid things from the cow. In such a case one cannot help but come to the very amusing yet unbearably sad thought: &quot;What if the human race has been placed on the earth as some sort of brazen experiment, simply in order to find out whether such creatures are going to survive here or not?&quot; The sad part of this thought lies mainly in the fact that once again no one is to blame; no one conducted the experiment; there is no one we can curse; it all happened simply due to the dead laws of Nature, which I absolutely cannot comprehend and with which my consciousness is utterly unable to agree.
** [[Fyodor Dostoevsky]], ''A Writer's Diary, vol 1, The Sentence'', 1876
** Description: written from the perspective of a materialist and signed N.N.

* Feminism must be equipped with fire and brilliance. It's the holiest ideal of this time. That the noble natural rights of women have been discovered so late shows a dreadful spotlight on the history of so-called human development. There may appear to be something weird in feminism for the uninitiated, but as soon as we reach that point, philosophy will raise its aristocratic head and say to us: &quot;The new doctrines involves the priesthood of only women, it proves the truth of pessimism and the necessity of worldwide misery in the current system, but not that of an endless continuation of existence.&quot; Then, according to the women's higher mission, women will recognize themselves as superior beings, as the priestesses of their race, as natural nobility. Aware of the higher law of life, at that same time, under their perception of the higher law of life, women will become fully aware of their higher purpose, to appear as the leaders towards death, preparing the end of the end. This then becomes the ideal, and take the place of any ideal without end or goal!
** {{w|Helene von Druskowitz}}, [https://de.wikisource.org/wiki/Pessimistische_Kardinals%C3%A4tze ''Pessimistische Kardinalsätze: Ein Vademekum für die freiesten Geister''], 1905

==E==

* So I returned, and considered all the oppressions that are done under the sun: and behold the tears of &quot;such as were&quot; oppressed, and they had no comforter; and on the side of their oppressors &quot;there was&quot; power; but they had no comforter. Wherefore I praised the dead which are already dead more than the living which are yet alive. Yea, better &quot;is he&quot; than both they, which hath not yet been, who hath not seen the evil work that is done under the sun.
** [[Ecclesiastes]], [https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ecclesiastes+4&amp;version=KJV ''Ecclesiastes 4:1-3, King James Version of the Bible, 1611'']

* Other groups, like the Encratites, saw procreation as the diabolically inspired evil that perpetuates our imprisonment within these mortal coils. They argued that total purity would disentangle trapped souls, reuniting them with the light.
** Jo Ann McNamara, ''A New Song: Celibate Women in the First Three Christian Centuries'', 1985

* Jung: &quot;Somewhere on earth certainly still are people who do not accept this suicide law of extinction.&quot; Cassius: &quot;If it is a hope for you, that somewhere people gathering new forces to again tear apart each other in even more bloody wars, so let it, have such hope.&quot;
** Karl Ettlinger, ''Der erschossene Storch'', 1930
** Description: dialogue between the characters of the novel, Jung, who wakes up after five thousand years of hibernation in a post-apocalyptic world where most people have been murdered with chemical weapon, and Cassius, the leader of the last people, pacifists and vegetarians enjoying life, who decided to resign from procreation, having come to the conclusion that the existence of people always sooner or later is associated with the making of slaughters by them.

* To those, on the other hand, who under a pious cloak blaspheme by their continence both the creation and the holy Creator, the almighty, only God, and teach that one must reject marriage and begetting of children, and should not bring others in their place to live in this wretched world, nor give any sustenance to death , our reply is as follows.
** [[Clement of Alexandria]], [http://gnosis.org/library/strom3.htm ''Stromata, Book III, Chapter VI, 45'']
** Description: about the gnostic sect of Encratites.

* &quot;For mortals it is better not to be born than to be born; Children I bring to birth with bitter pains; And then when I have borne them they lack understanding. In vain I groan, that I must look on wicked offspring. While I lose the good. If the good survive, My wretched heart is melted by alarm. What is this goodness then? Is it not enough That I should care for one alone And bear the pain for this one soul?&quot; And further to the same effect, &quot;So now I think and have long so thought Man ought never children to beget, Seeing into what agonies we are born.&quot; But in the following verses he clearly attributes the cause of evil to the primal origins, when he speaks as follows: &quot;O thou who art born for misfortune and disaster, thou art born a man, and thine unhappy life thou didst receive from the place where the air of heaven, which gives breath to mortals, first began to give food for all. Complain not of thy mortal state, thou who art mortal.&quot; Again he puts the same idea in these words: &quot;No mortal is content and happy Nor is any born free from sorrow.&quot;
** [[Euripides]], quoted and commented by [[Clement of Alexandria]], [http://gnosis.org/library/strom3.htm ''Stromata, Book III, Chapter III, 22-23'']

* What could be worse?&lt;br /&gt;Sex leads death's dance,&lt;br /&gt;In childbirth grief begins.
** [[Euripides]], ''[[w:Medea_(play)|Medea]]''

==F==

* Where shall I be a hundred years from now? Where will all the present dwellers of the Earth be? To die, for ever and ever; to have existed but for a moment! What a mockery! Would it not be better a hundred times over never to have been born? But if it be our fate to live eternally and never to be able to change anything of the fatality that carries us along – having endless eternity always before us – how can we bear the burden of such a destiny? Is that the doom awaiting us? If we should tire of existence, we should be forbidden to fly from it; it would be impossible to end it. In this conception, there is far more implacable cruelty than in that of an ephemeral life vanishing away insect's flight in the fresh evening breeze. Why then were we born? To suffer uncertainty; to find after examination not a single one of our hope a left; to live like idiots if we do not think, like madmen if we do?
** {{w|Camille Flammarion}}, [http://www.gutenberg.org/files/52933/52933-h/52933-h.htm ''Uranie''], 1889
** Description: the words of the character, Georges Spero.

* He seriously thought that there is less harm in killing a man than producing a child: in the first case you are relieving someone of life, not his whole life but a half or a quarter or a hundredth part of that existence that is going to finish, that would finish without you; but as for the second, he would say, are you not responsible to him for all the tears he will shed, from the cradle to the grave? Without you he would never have been born, and why is he born? For your amusement, not for his, that's for sure; to carry your name, the name of a fool, I'll be bound – you may as well write that name on some wall; why do you need a man to bear the burden of three or four letters?
**[[Gustave Flaubert]], ''November'', 1841
** Description: about the protagonist. 

* The idea of bringing someone into the world fills me with horror. I would curse myself if I were a father. A son of mine! Oh no, no, no! May my entire flesh perish and may I transmit to no one the aggravations and the disgrace of existence.
** [[Gustave Flaubert]], ''The Letters of Gustave Flaubert 1830-1857'', 1846

==G==

* Suppose for a moment that all procreation stops, it will only mean that all destruction will cease. Moksha is nothing but release from the cycle of births and deaths. This alone is believed to be the highest bliss, and rightly.
** [[Mahatma Gandhi]], ''Collected works, volume 23'', 1958

* The ideal brahmachari had not to struggle with sensual desire or desire for procreation; it never troubles him at all. The whole world will be to him one vast family, he will centre allhis ambition in relieving the misery of mankind and the desire for procreation will be to him as gall and wormwood.
** [[Mahatma Gandhi]], ''Collected works, volume 30'', 1968

* If destruction is violence, creation, too, is violence. Procreation, therefore, involves violence. The creation of what is bound to perish certainly involves violence.
** [[Mahatma Gandhi]], ''Collected works, volume 32'', 1969

* What shall I write ...? If I say that is good, it would be a lie. If I express sorrow, it would be violence. ... I would only say and wish that you learn to control yours senses.
** [[Mahatma Gandhi]], ''Gandhi's Passion: The Life and Legacy of Mahatma Gandhi'', 2002
** Description: letter to his nephew Chhaganlal's wife Kashi, who had just given birth to a daughter.

* Answer without flinching: if there existed a solution that could abolish the totality of all evils inflicted on disastrous humanity, if it was possible, by some simple remedy, incredibly cheap, immediately accessible, scrupulously inoffensive, of absolute and definitive efficiency, to stop all distress, all cries, all cries of pain, all pathologies, all protests of ill-being, all despair, all cataclysms, all anxiety, all unhappiness, in short all tortures afflicting the human species, would you have the macabre stupidity to reject such a remedy, to disdain such a miracle cure? No, that goes without saying. Well this solution does exist, and the mysterious is thereby delivered to us: it consists simply, in its saintly simplicity, to not procreate.
** {{w|Théophile de Giraud}}, [http://theophiledegiraud.e-monsite.com/medias/files/manifeste-anti-nataliste.pdf ''L'art de guillotiner les procréateurs: Manifeste anti-nataliste''], 2006, p. 10

* Significant symbolism: we are all born in filth and suffering, of course in the suffering of our mother, who, however, has no right to complain if it was her choice, but above all in the one we experience, the victims, the unfortunate exiles from emptiness, who being in paradisiacal pelagic darkness, in which no anxiety reached us, we suddenly start to struggle, terribly squeezed, almost grinded, choking and fainting, because we are forced out through a poor quality birth canal, designed by this incompetent handyman called Mother Nature.
**{{w|Théophile de Giraud}}, [http://theophiledegiraud.e-monsite.com/medias/files/manifeste-anti-nataliste.pdf ''L'art de guillotiner les procréateurs: Manifeste anti-nataliste''], 2006, pp. 13–14

* Another argument is often made by the irresponsible ones who breed us – that it is an act of &quot;leaving a trace&quot; – strange impulse! Let us immediately observe that from an ethological point of view this is akin to the attitude many mammals have to leave droppings on the ground to mark their path or territory. The dog urinating against a lamp post also leaves a trace, one however which, unlike the baby, benefits from the privilege of not having to endure the grueling stresses of life.
** {{w|Théophile de Giraud}}, [http://theophiledegiraud.e-monsite.com/medias/files/manifeste-anti-nataliste.pdf ''L'art de guillotiner les procréateurs: Manifeste anti-nataliste''], 2006, p. 35

* If it was otherwise, if procreation was not the result of the most scandalous narcissism, if our odious parents were really moved by some generosity, prospective adoption candidates would be incredibly more numerous than the millions of children who wait, right now, to be adopted! But talk about adoption and you'll see a big frown of &quot;yes-but-not-for-me&quot; form on their face, greedy to possess a prey coming entirely from their bodies. &quot;Orphans? Someone else's baby? Come on, get scientists to help vanquish my infertility instead!&quot; 
**{{w|Théophile de Giraud}}, [http://theophiledegiraud.e-monsite.com/medias/files/manifeste-anti-nataliste.pdf ''L'art de guillotiner les procréateurs: Manifeste anti-nataliste''], 2006, p. 51

* The predispositions and motivations of the obviously noble individuals are assessed, individuals who want, through adoption, to help existing child swim in the hell of existence, but even the most ominous fool, if he only has such a wish, has absolute right, through creation, to immerse them this hell, without having to justify it in any way.
**{{w|Théophile de Giraud}}, [http://theophiledegiraud.e-monsite.com/medias/files/manifeste-anti-nataliste.pdf ''L'art de guillotiner les procréateurs: Manifeste anti-nataliste''], 2006, p. 147

* How is it that in no epoch of history, in no place on earth, a sect of wise men has been formed with the aim of making human life die out in the face of the cruelty of its evils? 
** {{w|Goncourt brothers}}, ''Journal: Memoires de la vie litteraire. 1864-1878. Tome 2''

* Imagine that it's possible. This is what I think. . . . When I was young this I thought and still think to this day, that I do not know how all of it works and where it is leading... what would I tell a child about all this, why was they born and for what purpose? . . . We breed, we give birth without thought. But then, when the child says: I never asked for this – we find ourselves bereft of answers. A multitude of misfortunes are happening on earth, life is a great risk, and it often hurts terribly... So should one take responsibility, bring someone into the world, &quot;bestow the gift of life&quot;? 
** Krystyna Gonet, ''Jak by to powiedzieć... Rozmowy z Krystianem Lupą'', 2002, pp. 47–48
** Description: answer to Krystian Lupa's question &quot;Is it possible to think that we should not give birth to children at all, because the meaning of life is not certain?&quot;

* I am able to find meaning in my life, but I do not feel entitled to impose it to anyone.
** Krystyna Gonet, ''Jak by to powiedzieć... Rozmowy z Krystianem Lupą'', 2002, p. 49

*Didn't Conrad, in his great novel &quot;Heart of Darkness&quot;, had this feeling of deathbed despair, when he mentions Kurz's doubtful fight with death – fight without confidence? Same Conrad, who put in one of his novels Calderon's words, that the biggest misfortune of man is to be born, as a tagline? This coincides with your repeatedly spoken thesis, that the biggest iniquity is to bring children to life, because giving them birth is sentencing them to death. We are pulling them out from the nothingness, from the state of complete unconsciousness into reality – and then we command them to undergo the agony of death, which they wouldn't have to experience without being alive in the first place.
** Zbigniew Grabowski, ''Rozmowy z Tobą'', 1974, p. 151
** Description: written to his wife Zofia Grabowska

* For the bodily procreation of children (let no one be displayed by this argument) is more an embarking upon death that upon life for man. Corruption has its beginning in birth and those who refrain from procreation through virginity themselves bring about a cancellation of death by preventing it from advancing further because of them, and, by setting themselves up as a kind of boundary stone between life and death, they keep death from going forward.
** [[Gregory of Nyssa]], ''Ascetical Works (The Fathers of the Church, Volume 58)''

==H==

* There are two most conscious actions that man can act upon: suicide and desisting procreation.
** {{w|Yutaka Haniya}}, ''無限の相のもとに'', 1997

* For instance, people call me a pessimist; and if it is pessimism to think, with Sophocles, that's not to have been born is best,' then I do not reject the designation.
** {{w|Thomas Hardy}}, ''Interviews and Recollections'', 2016

* Humans are the most destructive creatures on the planet. We cause vast numbers of animal deaths (both directly and indirectly). We destroy habitats. We damage the environment. We are currently heating up the world's climate in a way that is likely to be detrimental to countless numbers of animals (ourselves included). And we have the means, nuclear weapons, to destroy everything at the push of a button. We came perilously close to pushing that button on one occasion (the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962). The best way to stop the destruction is to remove the destructive force; to remove humans by refraining from procreation. In short, the colossal amount of harm caused by humans gives us a moral reason to boycott the human species. 
** Gerald Harrison, Julia Tanner, [https://www.cambridge.org/core/services/aop-cambridge-core/content/view/3AF8BE47794522E31BE351F4D9822344/S1477175610000436a.pdf/better_not_to_have_children.pdf ''Better Not To Have Children''], 2010, p. 113

* It might be pointed out that we cannot gain someone's consent to exist; we cannot gain their consent before they exist and by the time they exist it's too late. But the fact that we cannot gain their consent does not mean that we are free to do without it. Suppose you wish to torture someone against their will, you cannot seek your victim's consent – the torture would not then be against their will. It would be absurd to argue that for this reason we are permitted to torture people against their will. Similarly, the fact that prospective parents cannot get the consent of those they plan to bring into existence doesn't magically mean it's OK. Quite the opposite – if you can't get the consent of the person you're going to significantly affect by your action, then the default position is that you don't do whatever it is that's going to affect them. There are exceptions. Pushing someone out of the way of a falling piano is morally right even if no prior consent can be given (if, for instance, there isn't time). But in this kind of case you are preventing someone from coming to great harm. To procreate – to subject someone to a life – does not prevent them coming to harm. Not being created cannot harm them because they don't exist.
** Gerald Harrison, Julia Tanner, [https://www.cambridge.org/core/services/aop-cambridge-core/content/view/3AF8BE47794522E31BE351F4D9822344/S1477175610000436a.pdf/better_not_to_have_children.pdf ''Better Not To Have Children''], 2010, pp. 117–118

* It therefore seems there are at least two prima facie duties that push towards making procreative acts wrong overall: our prima facie duty to prevent pain and our prima facie duty not to seriously affect someone else without his prior consent.
** Gerald Harrison, ''Antinatalism, Asymmetry, and an Ethic of Prima Facie Duties'', 2012

* I believe it is morally wrong to cause avoidable suffering to other people. This belief gives rise to two different objections to human reproduction. On the one hand, since all human beings suffer at some point in their lives, every parent who could have declined to procreate is to blame. On the other hand, since potential parents cannot guarantee that the lives of their children will be better than non-existence, they can also be rightfully accused of gambling on other people's lives, whatever the outcome. Because of the uncertainties of human life, anybody's children can end up arguing that it would have been better for them not to have been born at all. The probability of this outcome does not necessarily matter. It is enough that the possibility is real, which it always is.
**{{w|Matti Häyry}}, [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1733883/pdf/v030p00377.pdf ''A rational cure for prereproductive stress syndrome''], 2004

* Sleep is good, death is better; but of course,&lt;br /&gt;the best thing would to have never been born at all.
** [[Heinrich Heine]], ''Morphine'', 1856

* Wouldn't it be nice to have a kid, to have this fresh, clean slate, which we could fill, and a little clean spirit, totally, you know, innocent, and to fill it with good ideas. Yeah, yeah, how about this? If you're so f#####g altruistic, why don't you leave the little clean spirit wherever it is right now? Ok? Horrible act, childbirth. It's a nightmare. Bringing – I would never bring a kid to this f#####g planet. 
** [[Bill Hicks]], ''Love All the People: Letters, Lyrics, Routines'', 2004

* The mother instinct is something of which I am completely devoid. I explain it like this to myself: life is a vale of tears and all human beings are miserable creatures, so I cannot take the responsibility for bringing yet another unhappy creature into the world.
** [[Etty Hillesum]], ''An interrupted Life: The Diaries of Etty Hillesum 1941–1943'', 1981

* I respect the deserters and solidarize myself with the forcibly recruited.
** {{w|Ulrich Horstmann}}, [http://www.literaturkritik.de/public/rezension.php?rez_id=583 ''Wir bewohnen einen Hinterhof – Ein Interview mit Ulrich Horstmann'']
** Description: about suicide and procreation.

* Mankind's only aim is to reproduce, to continue the species. Although this aim is obviously insignificant, mankind pursues it with terrifying relentlessness. Men may well be unhappy, atrociously unhappy, but they resist with all their strength the thing that could change their fate: they want children, and children similar to them, in order to dig their own grave and perpetuate the conditions for unhappiness.
**[[Michel Houellebecq]], ''The Possibility of an Island'', 2005
** Description: the words of the character, prophet.

*  ...I am not cut out to be a parent. Besides, I consider marriage a sin and having children a crime. ... It is also my conviction that he who takes upon himself the yoke of marriage is a fool, even more a sinner. A fool, for in so doing he disposes of his freedom without gaining a corresponding compensation; a sinner, for he gives life to children without being able to give them the certainty of happiness. I despise mankind in all its strata; I foresee that our descendants will be far more unhappy than we are —  would I not be a sinner if, in spite of this view, I did not care for those who are to come, that is, for those unhappy beings? - No sight fills me with greater melancholy than that of an innocent little child. I cannot help myself to think every time of the sufferings, which it ripens towards. All life is a great nonsense. And when one has toiled and researched for eighty years, one must admit that one has toiled and researched for nothing. If only we knew why we are in this world! But everything is and will be enigmatic for the thinker, and the greatest happiness is to have been born stupid.
** [[Alexander von Humboldt]], [https://salmoxisbote.de/Bote06/Humboldt.htm from the diary of the Countess von B., previously Fräulein von R., who died in 1852, in which she records a conversation Humboldt had with one of her friends in Paris in 1812.]
** Description: the same citation can also be found, for instance, in [[Philipp Mainländer]]'s Philosophie der Erlösung

* The whole earth, believe me, Philo, is cursed and polluted. A perpetual war is kindled amongst all living creatures. Necessity, hunger, want, stimulate the strong and courageous: Fear, anxiety, terror, agitate the weak and infirm. The first entrance into life gives anguish to the new-born infant and to its wretched parent: weakness, impotence, distress, attend each stage of that life: and 'tis at last finished in agony and horror.
** [[David Hume]], ''Dialogues concerning natural religion'', 1779
** Description: the words of the character, Demea.

* Whatever the feeling of those who procreate, as long as they act knowingly not unaware that they are organisms for pain, souls of disappointment, harmful beings, both victims and executioners, they are malefactors, and the child has the right to consider his father and mother as mere murderers. Yes, murderers! Because giving life means also giving death. A look from this perspective should be enough to demand abstaining from begetting. And then what? End of the world! Of course, it would be the end of the world in the short or long term and I do not see any problem with it.
**{{w|Marie Huot}}, ''[https://www.tpsalomonreinach.mom.fr/Reinach/MOM_TP_129996/MOM_TP_129996_0001/PDF/MOM_TP_129996_0001.pdf Le mal de vivre]'', 1909

* Lack of capacity to give consent do not mean somebody can inflict any action to the person that lacks the capacity to give informed consent. For example, minor under age of consent deemed to lack the capacity to give consent, so any sexual contact with such minor is deemed rape unconditionally (statutory rape). Even though for example, medical treatment, vaccination, and compulsory education are inflicted without the informed consent of the child, such action is deemed to be (whether real or purported) best interest of the child to be justifiable. For procreation, the child neither given consent thereto nor have any interest to come into existence, although once came into existence, the child may have the interest to continue their existence.
** Jiwoon Hwang, ''Procreation Is Murder: The Case for Voluntary Human Extinction'', 2017

==I==

* Born in horror and pain, I also live in horrible dread of the end, the exit. I'm caught in an incredible, inadmissible, infernal trap, between two frightful events.
**[[Eugene Ionesco]], ''The Hermit'', 1977

* Two things are unacceptable: birth and death. I did not ask for them and I do not accept them.
** [[Eugene Ionesco]], ''Un homme en question'', 1979

==J==

* When life failed our expectations, when we gave up the creation of ourselves, when we sense that everything is in ruins then instead of going to the mortuary we lead the family and relatives to the place even more grave and kitschy place: to the maternity ward.
** Roland Jaccard, ''La tenstation nihiliste'', 1989

* What could be more obscene than a woman proudly carrying a future corpse in her belly?
** Roland Jaccard, ''Topologie du pessimisme'', 1997

* Causing the birth of a child means abusing this child. At the mere idea that they could give life, every wise man thinks that he would prefer to die.
** Roland Jaccard, ''Un climatiseur en enfer'', 2000

* How can anyone take seriously an insane idea that the world was created by a good God, and sign up under the most criminal of all imperatives: &quot;be fruitful and multiply&quot;?
** Roland Jaccard, ''Sexe et sarcasmes'', 2009

* Never, at any point in life, I could get rid of the notion that this type of ending to life, which brings death, is an absurdity, unendurable without the smokescreen of one or another myth, a delusion that goes beyond the boundaries of our biological being, which is a seasonal being, bounded by space and time, understood only in these categories, which doesn't signify that we must understand precisely this form of being as the existence and non-existence, reasonable, righteous, and the only one, just because it's necessary. Inevitability does not mean a wise solution. First of all, it deprives us of freedom. Since the earliest years of consciousness, we are determined, we know about it, at any time we are in danger, never safe. Does existence in the vastness of the universe have to be connected with constant risk, does it have to be like a house, where tenancy agreement can be terminated at any time; can't we think about existence based on more permanent foundations, less limited, having knowledge about something much wiser? These thoughts of a rational being are based on the common logic of thinking, they do not take into account another possibility, that being shouldn't be considered in the category of logic and necessity, but it can be considered in the categories of absurd, lack of logic and hostile necessity. The difficultly of accepting death does not have to result in an attachment to life, from a deficiency so great that a being already brought into existence, would like to live forever or not be born at all. However, this is not senseless thinking, on the contrary, it seems much more sensible than all this huge preparation for a short life. A rational being – it may seem so to us – should have the right to choose death, but should not be submitted to a determined death sentence, should not be a convict.
**{{w|Mieczysław Jastrun}}, ''Wolność wyboru'', 1969

* You must not marry and have sons or daughters in this place.
:* [[Book of Jeremiah|Jeremiah]] 16:2
::: ''Barnes Notes on the Bible'' offers this gloss:
:::* As marriage was obligatory upon the Jews, the prohibition of it to Jeremiah was a sign that the impending calamity was so great as to override all ordinary duties.
::::* ''Barnes Notes on the Bible'', vol. 5, p. 412

* She asks, &quot;How long shall men die?&quot; Jesus answers, &quot;As long as you women bear children&quot;. Writers like Julius Cassianus take this as an implicit injunction to defeat death by ceasing from procreation. Clement resorts to allegorical explanation. By &quot;as long as women bear children&quot; the Lord meant &quot;as long as desires are active&quot;.
** {{w|John T. Noonan Jr.}}, ''Contraception; a history of its treatment by the Catholic theologians and canonists''
** Description: the dialogue of Jesus Christ with Salome from [[w:Greek Gospel of the Egyptians|Greek Gospel of the Egyptians]]. (The further part of the dialogue: Salome: &quot;I have done well, then, in not bearing children?&quot; Jesus: &quot;Every plant eat thou, but that which hath bitterness eat not. I have come to destroy the works of the female.&quot;)

==K==

* I'd also gone through an entire year of celibacy based on my feeling that lust was the direct cause of birth which was the direct cause of suffering and death and I had really no lie come to a point where I regarded lust as offensive and even cruel. &quot;Pretty girls make graves&quot;, was my saying, whenever I'd had to turn my head around involuntarily to stare at the incomparable pretties of Indian Mexico.
** [[Jack Kerouac]], ''The Dharma Bums'', 1958

* I will have to preach the only possible truth: The abolishing of death by extermination of birth. Life control. Put an end to human rebirth, by abstaining from sexual intercourse. Everybody stop breeding, or by method of-birth-control stop birth. At the same time, stop killing for sport or for eating living beings; they tremble at punishment and death too. Everybody live off vegetables and synthetic foods, causing no pain anywhere.
** [[Jack Kerouac]], ''Some of the Dharma'', 1997

* Let us cease bestiality and go into the bright room of the mind realizing emptiness, and sit with the truth. And let no man be guilty, after this, Dec. 9 1954, of causing birth. – Let there be an end to birth, an end to life, and therefore an end to death. Let there be no more fairy tales and ghost stories around and about this. I don't advocate that everybody die, I only say everybody finish your lives in purity and solitude and gentleness and realization of the truth and be not the cause of any further birth and turning of the black wheel of death.
** [[Jack Kerouac]], ''Some of the Dharma'', 1997

* I wouldn't have come had I had my say,&lt;br&gt;Nor would I leave Here if I had my way;&lt;br&gt;Ah, nothing better in this world could be&lt;br&gt;Than not to come, nor be, not go away.
** [[Omar Khayyam]], ''Rubaʼiyat of Omar Khayyam''

* Since Heaven increases nothing but our pain,&lt;br&gt;And gives naught that it takes not back again,&lt;br&gt;The unborn ne'er would hither come if they&lt;br&gt;But knew what we at Fortune's hands sustain.
** [[Omar Khayyam]], ''The Wisdom of Omar Khayyam''

* A man is born in sin, he enters this world by means of a crime, his existence is a crime – and procreation is the fall.
** [[Søren Kierkegaard]], ''The Last Years: The Kierkegaard Journals 1853-1855'', 1965

* I give thanks to God that no living being owes me existence.
** [[Søren Kierkegaard]], ''The Last Years: The Kierkegaard Journals 1853-1855'', 1965

* That is what Christianity is for – which straightaway bars the way to procreation. This means: stop!
** [[Søren Kierkegaard]], ''The Last Years: The Kierkegaard Journals 1853-1855'', 1965

* Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth — look at the dying man’s struggle at his last extremity, and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus could be intended for enjoyment.
** [[Søren Kierkegaard]], quoted in {{cite book |editor1-last=Rohde |editor1-first=Peter P. |title=Diary |date=1960 |publisher={{w|Philosophical Library}} |isbn=978-0-8065-0251-9 |page=25 |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=8ToNAQAAMAAJ}}

* Phasing out the human race by voluntarily ceasing to breed will allow Earth's biosphere to return to good health. Crowded conditions and resource shortages will improve as we become less dense.
** Les U. Knight, ''Environment and Natural Resources'', 2010

* First, the damp, dark depths and a lonely embryo in a warm interior. He does not yet know that he has been betrayed, that the sentence has been given. In it, all his future illusions and defeats. For now he is still in the garden, beyond consciousness, but they will pull him out and his excruciating screaming will not help. Nobody will take pity on him here because no one has received pity. First, only as a body, unconscious of itself, but unfortunately, it cannot remain that way. If only this body could see what awaits it! Perfidy lies in the fact that it can't! The body is not allowed to, because the sentence must be executed. The unspeakable horror of birth in which is already lying, curled up, the horror of life. This horror will then crawl out in all directions only to end up in a ditch, in a gutter, in a suburban railway car, on an icy sheet of a hospital bed or in warm sheets, among close ones, which are always too far away to tell them about themselves. If such is the beginning, what is to be expected at the end? Then, when they snatch him from inside, despite screams and pleas. When they wash the blood from their hands, like they would after murder. Wandering begins, to meet someone, to get somewhere. Both are impossible, but this impossibility can only be seen after a while, so again it goes back to a few illusions and comforts, which make the boredom and monotony of the road more pleasant. All these gusts, elation, despair of awakened senses. And this is just a short leash of desires and vents. And this is just a string of habits that will bind also many others after him. Dreams, illusions, fantasies, swarms of them, they run, to finally fall from exhaustion anywhere, feeling muck on the face, debris, sticky mud puddles, and finally a massive stench of dirt, exploding in the nostrils. 
** Grzegorz Kociuba, ''Ktoś'', 2003

* Oh, the greatest of torments&lt;br /&gt;Embrace towards the dawn&lt;br /&gt;The flower of death to bloom!&lt;br /&gt;Oh, the greatest of torments&lt;br /&gt;To sow the flower in the grave&lt;br /&gt;Bloom from your own womb&lt;br /&gt;Oh, the greatest of torments&lt;br /&gt;To reproduce the moans&lt;br /&gt;To add one more moan&lt;br /&gt;One, the special one&lt;br /&gt;What tugs the mother spirit&lt;br /&gt;By the harshest of torments&lt;br /&gt;Oh, the greatest of punishments&lt;br /&gt;To feed the old hunger for life&lt;br /&gt;By giving them our blood&lt;br /&gt;To a huge pile of death&lt;br /&gt;Fuming with eternal heat&lt;br /&gt;Throw more wood!&lt;br /&gt;Oh, these hours will come,&lt;br /&gt;When the mother's pain rises,&lt;br /&gt;It will face the guilt of life&lt;br /&gt;Like earth replete with births&lt;br /&gt;And will ask in a reckoning voice:&lt;br /&gt;Where's your fruit? Where's your child?&lt;br /&gt;Oh, this hour will come,&lt;br /&gt;What starts to beat in the twilights,&lt;br /&gt;Into rust-coloured bronze of centuries&lt;br /&gt;When these wombs close&lt;br /&gt;Like barren land&lt;br /&gt;Which give birth to their cross today.
** {{w|Maria Konopnicka}}, ''Botticelli'', 1901

* One more martyr! Go back from where you came from, child&lt;br /&gt;There are enough unfortunate ones in the world without you,&lt;br /&gt;Go back, close your eyes, do not look at the world,&lt;br /&gt;Push away your mother's breasts and do not demand life. 
** {{w|Józef Ignacy Kraszewski}}, ''Do Nowonarodzonego'', 1843

* You'll also find delight! – it's not worth being born for it,&lt;br /&gt;It's like a night star, it will be flashing and setting,&lt;br /&gt;And it will only rise so that the bloody suffering,&lt;br /&gt;Will tear your heart and soul even harder.&lt;br /&gt;Such delight isn't worth the name of delight.&lt;br /&gt;And this world won't give you other one.
** {{w|Józef Ignacy Kraszewski}}, ''Do Nowonarodzonego'', 1843

* Forgive me your birth in this strange land.&lt;br /&gt;I wanted your infant kisses, your fists clasped&lt;br /&gt;round my neck. I craved you, though you were born&lt;br /&gt;in the wake of my illness, my dim prognosis.&lt;br /&gt;I was selfish: I willed you this woe, this world.&lt;br /&gt;You inherited exile for my sake.
** {{w|Anya Krugovoy Silver}}, [https://www.christiancentury.org/artsculture/poems/psalm-137-noah ''Psalm 137 for Noah'']
** Description: a poem that the author wrote for her son before she died of cancer.

* I'll be frank. I've always felt that it's horrible to send a person into the world who didn't ask to be there. . . . Look around you. Of all the people you see, no one is here by his own wish. Of course, what I just said is the most banal truth there is. So banal, and so basic, that we've stopped seeing it and hearing it. . . . Everyone jabbers about human rights. What a joke! Your existence isn't founded on any right. They don't even allow you to end your life by your own choice, these defenders of human rights. . . . Look at them all! Look! At least half the people you are seeing are ugly. Being ugly–is that one of the human rights too? And do you know what it is to carry your ugliness with you through your whole life? With not a moment of relief? Or your sex? You never chose that. Or the color of your eyes? Or your era on earth? Or your country? Or your mother? None of the things that matter. The rights a person can have involve only pointless things, for which there is no reason to fight or to write great declarations! You're here as you are because I was weak. That was my fault. Forgive me.
**[[Milan Kundera]], ''The Festival of Insignificance''
** Description: the words of the character, Alain's imaginary mother.

* Not by violent means (murder, war and the like), but peacefully, let mankind disappear from our globe.
** Kurnig, ''Der Neo-Nihilismus. Anti-Militarismus. Sexualleben (Ende der Menschheit)'', p. 51

* I mourn the creatures you bring into the world who could not defend themselves when you created them, who otherwise would have protested out loud against your action. Since it all boils down to suffering and destruction. 
** Kurnig, ''Der Neo-Nihilismus. Anti-Militarismus. Sexualleben (Ende der Menschheit)'', p. 84

* Never to have procreated – this be your consolation when you die.
** Kurnig, ''Der Neo-Nihilismus. Anti-Militarismus. Sexualleben (Ende der Menschheit)'', p. 92

* I beget you (says such a nurturer) to have the pleasure of seeing what is within you and what is not. Doing this I am forcing upon you a lot of suffering and, at last, the nasty catastrophe of dying.
** Kurnig, ''Der Neo-Nihilismus. Anti-Militarismus. Sexualleben (Ende der Menschheit)'', p. 125

==L==

* Man hands on misery to man.&lt;br&gt;It deepens like a coastal shelf.&lt;br&gt;Get out as early as you can,&lt;br&gt;And don't have any kids yourself.
**[[Philip Larkin]], [https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48419/this-be-the-verse ''This Be The Verse''], 1971

* All of us are brought into existence, without our consent, and over the course of our lives, we are acquainted with a multitude of goods. Unfortunately, there is a limit to the amount of good each of us will have in our lives. Eventually, each of us will die and we will be permanently cut off from the prospect of any further good. Existence, viewed in this way, seems to be a cruel joke. 
** Marc Larock, [https://research-repository.st-andrews.ac.uk/bitstream/handle/10023/717/Marc%20Larock%20MPhil%20thesis.pdf?sequence=6&amp;isAllowed=y ''Possible preferences and the harm of existence''], 2009, p. 89

* Perhaps the day will never come when people realize that moral patients like us should cease to exist. It would be an unconscionable tragedy if we never do. I remain optimistic, however. Some very interesting arguments have recently been advanced in support of the conclusion that it is always worse for a person to live than not. I suspect that many more will follow. Until the day that individuals begin to take non-procreation seriously on a widespread scale, perhaps all we can do is follow Schopenhauer: &quot;The conviction that the world, and therefore man too, is something which really ought not to exist is in fact calculated to instil in us indulgence towards one another: for what can be expected of beings placed in such a situation as we are? From this point of view one might indeed consider that the appropriate form of address between man and man ought to be, not monsieur, sir, but fellow sufferer, compagnon de misères. However strange this may sound it corresponds to the nature of the case, makes us see other men in a true light and reminds us of what are the most necessary of all things: tolerance, patience, forbearance and charity, which each of us needs and which each of us therefore owes.&quot; (On the Sufferings of the World)
** Marc Larock, [https://research-repository.st-andrews.ac.uk/bitstream/handle/10023/717/Marc%20Larock%20MPhil%20thesis.pdf?sequence=6&amp;isAllowed=y ''Possible preferences and the harm of existence''], 2009, p. 138

* Birth seems to me so sorry and squalid an accident . . . if fathers and mothers took thought before bringing children into this misery of a world, only the monsters among them would dare to go through with it.
** [[T. E. Lawrence]], ''A Prince of Our Disorder: The Life of T. E. Lawrence'', 1998

* People aware of their own birth and death in this way are said not to be lacking. Not lacking in what? Not lacking in birth. They're acquainted with the births they've experienced through many lives and states of being in the past—so many that they're weary of it all, to the point where they don't want to take birth again. As for people who don't know, who don't have this awareness, they feel that they're lacking. They want to take birth again and so they keep on creating birth over and over again. As for those who do have awareness, they've had enough. They're smart enough. They won't give rise to any more births or states of being. Whatever is good, they keep within themselves, like putting a ripe mango seed in a showcase to look at, or peeling off its hard outer shell and then putting it in a storeroom. No one will be able to plant it again, and we can take it out for a look whenever we want.
**[[Ajahn Lee]], ''Inner Strength'' (1956), as translated from the Thai by Ṭhānissaro Bhikkhu

* When parents warn their children that the world is full of selfish people who want to take advantage of them and who will treat them unfairly, they do the same thing as warning them that there are other people in the world like the parents themselves. It is tantamount to informing them that, even with a world full of people like that, exploitative and unjust, and even with life being very difficult, the parents (who knew this) forced their children into being, even though it was avoidable.
** Thiago Lenharo di Santis, [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/12/09/second-chapter-of-because-i-love-you-you-will-not-be-born/ ''Porque te amo, não nascerás! Nascituri te salutant''], 2009, p. 146

* Considering that there is no guarantee that the child will be &quot;happy,&quot; that any effort made towards this goal can be in vain, that if the child did not exist then this problem would not exist, and that such problem arose because the child was forced to be born for the luxury of his parents—even though it was avoidable—from all this follows that a responsible and sensitive &quot;procreator&quot; (or rather a responsible pre-procreator) would stop right there, precisely at &quot;pre.&quot;
** Thiago Lenharo di Santis, [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2018/02/12/third-chapter-of-because-i-love-you-you-will-not-be-born/ ''Porque te amo, não nascerás! Nascituri te salutant''], 2009, p. 162–163

* The gamble, in this case, has put at risk another innocent, without power, knowledge and responsibility; the gamble was unnecessary and could have been avoided; if it had been avoided, it would not harm this innocent, and it was not avoided because we are talking about a compulsive gambler.
** Thiago Lenharo di Santis, [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2018/02/12/third-chapter-of-because-i-love-you-you-will-not-be-born/ ''Porque te amo, não nascerás! Nascituri te salutant''], 2009, p. 186–187

* The new being (the child) is unknown, and some possibilities available to them are terrible and devastating. One of these possibilities is a painful process of suicide in which the individual experiences, sometimes for years, various types of suffering, until they effectively get rid of everything. Notice that when we decide to have a child, we have no way of being sure that they will not go through this. The only thing parents need to do to expose their child to such a possibility is to have the child.
** Thiago Lenharo di Santis, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GKo0aMJhS8&amp;feature=youtu.be ''Porque te amo, NÃO NASCERÁS! Palestra 2 de 3''], 2013, 1:06 - 1:43

* If the extreme case of the suicide or the particularly pessimistic group is not considered by you to be a legitimate or real risk, then for the purposes of this presentation, these examples can be replaced by other cases. For example, the case of people who struggle with serious existential difficulties (like the ones commonly treated by psychoanalysts). Or the case of people with common health problems: we currently have a list of more than 7000 diseases that affect our physical and mental health, and which can drastically change the quality of our lives, even very suddenly. Not to mention, of course, the natural process of aging and fatigue to which we are all subjected. Or yet, the case of people who do not look for professional help, but in order to continue living or surviving they need to intoxicate themselves, change their state of consciousness with legal or illegal drugs, create psychosis, etc. Anyway, even for one who is not a tormented suicide, life does not seem to be so easy. Sometimes an individual needs years of therapy in order to become minimally stable. And what if the new being, our child, find themselves at some moment in such a condition? Notice then how a common decision, whose habit is considered noble, can bring an immense suffering. It is then that the true non-triviality of this decision begins to appear, as well as how important (or even necessary) it is to have a greater reflection and sensitivity in this subject. But always from the perspective of the new being, and not only from our perspective as prospective parents.
** Thiago Lenharo di Santis, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GKo0aMJhS8&amp;feature=youtu.be ''Porque te amo, NÃO NASCERÁS! Palestra 2 de 3''], 2013, 1:57 - 3:28

* Certainly there are innumerable risks in procreation. But the real problem is not simply that there are risks, but that these risks extend to the child, not being limited only to the father and mother. The decision, when taken in favor of procreation, exceeds the parties who have taken the decision, and thus brings implications to a necessarily innocent being, who did not actively participate in this process that would affect them. A parent who is truly committed to their child's well-being would not create these possibilities, nor put them in risky situations, nor bring about something that could be devastating to the child.
** Thiago Lenharo di Santis, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GKo0aMJhS8&amp;feature=youtu.be ''Porque te amo, NÃO NASCERÁS! Palestra 2 de 3''], 2013, 3:30 - 4:07

* If we procreate, we put the child in a situation of innumerable risks and without guarantees for their well-being. If we do not procreate, we do not put them at risk and at the same time we do not deprive them of anything, because they never came into being, they never came to exist, and thus they will never miss anything. 
** Thiago Lenharo di Santis, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GKo0aMJhS8&amp;feature=youtu.be ''Porque te amo, NÃO NASCERÁS! Palestra 2 de 3''], 2013, 6:10 - 6:28

* Being asked for what purpose he thought men were born, he laughingly replied: To realize how much better it were not to be born.
** [[Giacomo Leopardi]], [https://it.wikisource.org/wiki/Operette_morali/Detti_memorabili_di_Filippo_Ottonieri/Capitolo_primo ''Operette Morali, Remarkable sayings of Philip Ottonieri''], 1827
** Description: the words of the character, Philip Ottonieri.

* In travail man is born;&lt;br /&gt;His birth too oft the cause of death,&lt;br /&gt;And with his earliest breath&lt;br /&gt;He pain and torment feels: e'en from the first,&lt;br /&gt;His parents fondly strive&lt;br /&gt;To comfort him in his distress;&lt;br /&gt;And if he lives and grows,&lt;br /&gt;They struggle hard, as best they may,&lt;br /&gt;With pleasant words and deeds to cheer him up,&lt;br /&gt;And seek with kindly care,&lt;br /&gt;To strengthen him his cruel lot to bear.&lt;br /&gt;This is the best that they can do&lt;br /&gt;For the poor child, however fond and true.&lt;br /&gt;But wherefore give him life?&lt;br /&gt;Why bring him up at all,&lt;br /&gt;If be all?&lt;br /&gt;If life is nought but pain and care,&lt;br /&gt;Why, why should we the burden bear?
** [[Giacomo Leopardi]], [https://it.wikisource.org/wiki/Canti_(Leopardi_-_Donati)/XXIII._Canto_notturno_di_un_pastore_errante_dell%27Asia ''Night Song Of A Wandering Shepherd In Asia''], 1831

* Perhaps in every state beneath the sun,&lt;br /&gt;Or high, or low, in cradle or in stall,&lt;br /&gt;The day of birth is fatal to us all.
** [[Giacomo Leopardi]], [https://it.wikisource.org/wiki/Canti_(Leopardi_-_Donati)/XXIII._Canto_notturno_di_un_pastore_errante_dell%27Asia ''Night Song Of A Wandering Shepherd In Asia''], 1831

* It were more reasonable that you [Nature] made happiness a necessity; or this being impossible, it were better not to bring men into the world.
** [[Giacomo Leopardi]], &quot;Dialogue Between Nature and a Soul&quot;, ''[https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/52356 Essays and Dialogues]'' (1882), p. 37.

* Thus I reply to you [Nature]. I am well aware you did not make the world for the service of men. It were easier to believe that you made it expressly as a place of torment for them. But tell me: why am I here at all? Did I ask to come into the world? Or am I here unnaturally, contrary to your will? If however, you yourself have placed me here, without giving me the power of acceptance or refusal of this gift of life, ought you not as far as possible to try and make me happy, or at least preserve me from the evils and dangers, which render my sojourn a painful one? And what I say of myself, I say of the whole human race, and of every living creature.
** [[Giacomo Leopardi]], &quot;Dialogue Between Nature and an Icelander&quot;, ''[https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/52356 Essays and Dialogues]'' (1882), pp. 78–79

* As soon as the child is born, the mother who has just brought him into the world must console him, quiet his crying, and lighten the burden of the existence she has given him. And one of the principal duties of good parents in the childhood and early youth of their children is to comfort them, to encourage them to live, because sorrows and ills and passions are at that age much heavier than they are to those who through long experience, or simply because they have lived longer, are used to suffering. And in truth it is only fitting that the good father and the good mother, in trying to console their children, correct as best they can, and ease, the damage they have done by procreating them. Good God! Why then is man born? And why does he procreate? To console those he has given birth to for having been born? 
** [[Giacomo Leopardi]], trans. Kathleen Baldwin et al., ''Zibaldone'' (2013), [2607] &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0374296827}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Perhaps the greatest strike against philosophical pessimism is that its only theme is human suffering. This is the last item on the list of our species' obsessions and detracts from everything that matters to us, such as the Good, the Beautiful, and a Sparkling Clean Toilet Bowl. For the pessimist, everything considered in isolation from human suffering or any cognition that does not have as its motive the origins, nature, and elimination of human suffering is at base recreational, whether it takes the form of conceptual probing or physical action in the world—for example, delving into game theory or traveling in outer space, respectively. And by &quot;human suffering,&quot; the pessimist is not thinking of particular sufferings and their relief, but of suffering itself. Remedies may be discovered for certain diseases and sociopolitical barbarities may be amended. But these are only stopgaps. Human suffering will remain insoluble as long as human beings exist. The one truly effective solution for suffering is that spoken of in Zapffe's &quot;Last Messiah.&quot; It may not be a welcome solution for a stopgaps world, but it would forever put an end to suffering, should we ever care to do so. The pessimist's credo, or one of them, is that nonexistence never hurt anyone and existence hurts everyone. Although our selves may be illusory creations of consciousness, our pain is nonetheless real.
**[[Thomas Ligotti]], ''The Conspiracy against the Human Race: A Contrivance of Horror'', 2010, p. 54

* As their numbers tapered off, these dead-enders of our species could be the most privileged individuals in history and share with one another material comforts once held in trust only for the well-born or moneygetting classes of the world. Since personal economic gain would be passé as a motive for the new humanity, there would be only one defensible incitement to work: to see one another through to the finish, a project that would keep everyone busy and not just staring into space while they waited for the end. There might even be bright smiles exchanged among these selfless benefactors of those who would never be forced to exist. 
** [[Thomas Ligotti]], ''The Conspiracy against the Human Race: A Contrivance of Horror'', pp. 58–59

* Opinion: There are no praiseworthy incentives to reproduce. For pro-natalists, children are only a means to an end, and none of those ends is praiseworthy. They are the ends of people who already exist, a condition that automatically makes them prejudiced in favor of existence. Yet even though these people think that being alive is all right, they are not at a loss to think of reasons why in some cases it would be better not to have been. They can only hope that their children will not be one of those cases, for their sake as well as for the sake of their offspring. To have a praiseworthy incentive for bearing a child, one would first have to prove that child to be an end in itself, which no one can prove about anything, least of all about something that does not yet exist. You could argue, of course, that a child is an end in itself and is a good in itself. And you could go on arguing until the child ages to death or sickens to death or has a fatal vehicular misadventure. But you cannot argue that anyone comes to an end that is a good in itself. You can only accept that someday he or she will come to an end that is an end in itself, which, as people sometimes say, may be for the best.
** [[Thomas Ligotti]], ''The Conspiracy against the Human Race: A Contrivance of Horror''

* Despite the fact that neither anti- nor pronatalists can prove their positions, pro-natalists have to live with the possibility that they might be wrong. That is a heavy burden to carry, and a heavier burden to pass on to subsequent generations. Antinatalists don't have a similar burden. When the action is taken on their side and a child is not born, no harm is done. No one has to suffer and die.
**[[Thomas Ligotti]], [http://evilhat.blogspot.com/2011/09/interview-thomas-ligotti.html ''Interview: Thomas Ligotti''], 2011

* Personally, I'm afraid of suffering and afraid of dying. I'm also afraid of witnessing the suffering and death of those who are close to me. And no doubt I project these fears on those around me and those to come, which makes it impossible for me to understand why everyone isn't an antinatalist, just as I have to assume pronatalists can't understand why everyone isn't like them.
**[[Thomas Ligotti]], [http://evilhat.blogspot.com/2011/09/interview-thomas-ligotti.html ''Interview: Thomas Ligotti''], 2011

* It is good to be a cynic – it is better to be a contented cat – and it is best not to exist at all. Universal suicide is the most logical thing in the world – we reject it only because of our primitive cowardice and childish fear of the dark. If we were sensible we would seek death – the same blissful blank which we enjoyed before we existed.
** [[H. P. Lovecraft]], [http://www.hplovecraft.hu/print.php?type=etexts&amp;id=625&amp;lang=angol ''Nietzscheism and Realism''], 1921

* He teaches that people should refrain from marriage to oppose the prospering of the demiurge and creator through human procreation &quot;because matrimony,&quot; he says, &quot;is a source of prosperity for the demiurge, through human procreation.&quot;
** [[Epiphanius]], ''The Panarion of Ephiphanius of Salamis: Book I (sects 1-46)'', 1987
** Description: about Lucian of Sinope, disciple of Marcion of Sinope.

* What loss were ours, if we had know not birth?&lt;br /&gt;Let living me to longer life aspire,&lt;br /&gt;While fond affection binds their hearts to earth&lt;br /&gt;But who never hath tasted life's desire,&lt;br /&gt;Unborn, impersonal, can feel no dearth.
** [[Lucretius]], ''Treasures Of Lucretius: Selected Passages from the &quot;De Rerum Natura&quot;'', 1st century BC

==M==
* Not only does having a child really increase your carbon footprint, but we are living on an earth where there are a lot of organisms — human, non-human — that are in desperate need of care. And so, for me, if people want to care for children, for animals, whatever, there are cries for care everywhere. I'm asking us to reflect on this idea that we need to reproduce.
**[[Patricia MacCormack]], [https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/why-professor-climate-crisis-solution-rankling-twitter-155305526.html  Why this professor's climate-crisis solution is rankling Twitter: 'The worst thing you can do is have a child']. ''Yahoo!Life'', 2020.

* I had no children. I haven't transmitted the legacy of our misery to any creature.
** [[Joaquim Maria Machado de Assis]], ''The Posthumous Memoirs of Brás Cubas'', 1881
** Description: the words of the character, Brás Cubas.

* Redemption of the individual idea one represents, can be reached by not passing the core of this idea to the future. In other words: by not procreating. Who doesn't live on in his progeny, will be absolutely redeemed from existence.
** [[Philipp Mainländer]], [https://ia800608.us.archive.org/0/items/DiePhilosophieDerErlsung/DiePhilosophieDerErlsung.pdf ''Philosophie der Erlösung''], 1876

* And who is and should be a pessimist? He who is ''mature'' for death and is in no condition to love life, just as the optimist cannot turn away from it. If he does not realize that he will survive in his children, his procreation loses its ''horrible'' character; but if he realizes it, he will recoil in horror from it, just like Humboldt noticing that it is paying dearly for a few minutes of pleasure with the torments that ''another'' being must endure perhaps for eighty years, and consider the procreation of children as a ''crime'' and justly so.
** [[Philipp Mainländer]], Philosophie der Erlösung, Erster Band (2014), Metaphysik, § 21 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-1494963262}}&lt;/small&gt;

* The will must not only despise death, it must love it; for chastity is the love of death.
** [[Philipp Mainländer]], Philosophie der Erlösung, Erster Band (2014), Ethik, § 26 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-1494963262}}&lt;/small&gt;

* The man who has known clearly and distinctly that all life is suffering; that, whatever the way in which it may appear is essentially unhappy and full of pain (even in the ideal state), so that he, like the Christ Child on the arms of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sistine_Madonna Sistine Madonna], can only look into the world with eyes filled with horror, and who then contemplates the deep tranquility, the inexpressible happiness in aesthetic contemplation and, in contrast to the waking state, the happiness of dreamless sleep, whose elevation into eternity is only absolute death, - such a man has to be kindled by the advantage offered, - he cannot do otherwise. The thought of resuscitating in his unhappy children, that is, having to follow his way through the streets of existence, full of thorns and hard stones, without rest or repose, is, on the one hand, the most shocking and exasperating he can have; and, on the other hand, it must be the sweetest and most refreshing thought to be able to break the long course of the process, in which he was forced to walk by, with bloody feet, beaten, tormented and martyred, languishing in search of quietude. And once he is on the right track, the sexual instinct worries him less with every step, little by little becoming easier for his heart, until at last his inner being stands in the same joyfulness, blessed serenity and complete immobility as the true Christian saint. He feels in harmony with the movement of humanity from being into non-being, out of the agony of life into absolute death; he gladly enters into this movement of the whole, he acts eminently morally, and his reward is the undisturbed peace of heart, the &quot;calmness of the sea of the mind,&quot; the peace that is higher than all reason. And all this can take place without the belief in a unity in, above or beyond the world, without fear of a hell or hope for a kingdom of heaven after death, without any mystical intellectual view, without incomprehensible effect of grace, without contradiction with nature and our awareness of our own self: the only sources from which we can draw with certainty, - merely as a result of an unprejudiced, pure, cold realization of our reason, &quot;man's supreme power&quot;.
** [[Philipp Mainländer]], Philosophie der Erlösung, Erster Band (2014), Ethik, § 26 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-1494963262}}&lt;/small&gt;

* What is the ideal state? It will be the historical form that encompasses all mankind. However, we will not define this form in more detail, because it is quite a minor matter: the main thing is the citizen of the ideal state. He will be what individuals have been since the beginning of history: a thoroughly free man. He has completely outgrown the taskmaster of historical laws and forms and stands above the law, free from all political, economic and spiritual fetters. All external forms are fragmented: man is completely emancipated. All driving forces have gradually disappeared from the life of mankind: Power, property, fame, marriage; all emotional ties have gradually been torn: man is weary. His spirit now judges life correctly and his will is kindled by this judgment. Now the heart is filled with only one longing: to be blotted out forever from the great book of life. And the will reaches its goal: absolute death.
** [[Philipp Mainländer]], Philosophie der Erlösung, Erster Band (2014), Politik, § 47 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-1494963262}}&lt;/small&gt;

* The ideal state would be the ultimate utopia, a socialistic paradise to which all efforts of humanity will finally lead. It will be a world without war, hunger and any sufferings beside the sufferings of birth, age and death. All sicknesses will be cured, and people will have lifes of joy with just a very small amount of work, because work will almost completely be deported to machines. So let's take a closer look on the citizens of that ideal state. Are they happy? They would be, if they wouldn't suffer from horrible boredom and an everlasting emptiness in their lifes now. If they even manage to live such a pointless life until natural death, they will not be willing to force new people into this mess by procreating. They have no hope left, because they know that they already reached the ideal state. Therefore, they will come to the conclusion that human life has to end or maybe even that all life has to end, because they finally realized that there is nothing to accomplish for sentience and that it would be better if they never had existed. This will be the point where the movement of humanity (or even the movement of all life on earth) will be fulfilled and the universe would now have to move on without (human) life on earth, to reach its own final goal, which is exactly the same: Turning into nothingness.
** [[Philipp Mainländer]], [https://ia800608.us.archive.org/0/items/DiePhilosophieDerErlsung/DiePhilosophieDerErlsung.pdf ''Philosophie der Erlösung''], 1876

* If anyone condemns human marriage and has a horror of the procreation of living bodies, as Manichaeus and Priscillian have said, let him be anathema.
** Bishops, the resolution of Council of Braga I, ''The companion to the Catechism of the Catholic Church: a compendium of texts referred to in the Catechism of the Catholic Church'', 561

* The practical conclusions from this cosmo-soteriologicalsystem are extremely clear-cut, all of them amounting to a rigorous asceticism. &quot;Since the ruin of the Hyle is decreed by God, one should abstain from all ensouled things and eat only vegetables and whatever else is non-sentient, and abstain from marriage, the delights of love and the begetting of children, so that the divine Power may not through the succession of generations remain longer in the Hyle.&quot; However, one must not, in order to help effect the purification of things, commit suicide.
** {{w|Hans Jonas}}, ''The Gnostic Religion. The Message of the Alien God and the Beginnings of Christiantty'', 1958
** Description: about Manichaeism.

* The Manichean attitude to marriage was entirely negative as the act of procreation prolongs the imprisonment of Soul, which would now be further diversified into matter.
** Iain Gardner &amp; Samuel N. C. Lieu, ''Manichaean Texts from the Roman Empire'', 2004

* None were admitted to baptism, or the Eucharist, unless they had taken an oath against having any children.
** {{w|Nathaniel Lardner}}, John Hogg, ''The Historie of the Heretics of the two First Centuries After Christ'', 1780
** Description: about Marcionites.

* Especially clear is the purpose of obstructing in the prohibition of sexual intercourse and marriage: &quot;Not wishing to help replenish the world made by the Demiurge, the Marcionites decreed abstention from matrimony, defying their creator and hastening to the Good One who has called them and who, they say, is God in a different sense: wherefore, wishing to leave nothing of their own down here, they turn abstemious not from a moral principle but from hostility to their maker and unwillingness to use his creation&quot; (Clem. Alex. he. cit.). Here the pollution by the flesh and its lust, so widespread a theme in this age, is not even mentioned; instead (though not to its exclusion: cf. Tertullian, op. cit. I. 19, where marriage is called a &quot;filthiness&quot; or &quot;obscenity&quot; [spurcitiae]) it is the aspect of reproduction which disqualifies sexuality that very aspect which in the eyes of the Church alone justifies it as its purpose under nature's dispensation. Marcion here voices a genuine and typical gnostic argument, whose fullest elaboration we shall meet in Mani: that the reproductive scheme is an ingenious archontic device for the indefinite retention of souls in the world. Thus Marcion's asceticism, unlike that of the Essenes or later of Christian monasticism, was not conceived to further the sanctification of human existence, but was essentially negative in conception and part of the gnostic revolt against the cosmos. 
** {{w|Hans Jonas}}, ''The Gnostic Religion. The Message of the Alien God and the Beginnings of Christiantty'', 1958

* In Marcion's view, all procreation only prolonged suffering as the new souls thus created were captured in a material prison.
** Piotr Ashwin-Siejkowski, ''Clement of Alexandria: A Project of Christian Perfection'', 2008

* God created only coarse beings, full of the germs of disease, who, after a few years of bestial enjoyment, grow old and infirm, with all the ugliness and all the want of power of human decrepitude. He seems to have made them only in order that they may reproduce their species in an ignoble manner and then die like ephemeral insects. I said reproduce their species in an ignoble manner and I adhere to that expression. What is there as a matter of fact more ignoble and more repugnant than that act of reproduction of living beings, against which all delicate minds always have revolted and always will revolt?
** [[Guy de Maupassant]], [http://www.classicshorts.com/stories/UselessBeauty.html ''Useless beauty''], 1890
** Description: the words of the character, Roger de Salins.

*&quot;What a hell! All her youth, all her beauty, every hope of success, every poetical ideal of a brilliant life sacrificed to that abominable law of reproduction which turns the normal woman into a mere machine for bringing children into the world.&quot;

&quot;What would you have? It is only Nature!&quot;

&quot;Yes, but I say that Nature is our enemy, that we must always fight against Nature, for she is continually bringing us back to an animal state. You may be sure that God has not put anything on this earth that is clean, pretty, elegant or accessory to our ideal; the human brain has done it. It is man who has introduced a little grace, beauty, unknown charm and mystery into creation by singing about it, interpreting it, by admiring it as a poet, idealizing it as an artist and by explaining it through science, doubtless making mistakes, but finding ingenious reasons, hidden grace and beauty, unknown charm and mystery in the various phenomena of Nature.&quot;
** [[Guy de Maupassant]], [http://www.classicshorts.com/stories/UselessBeauty.html ''Useless beauty''], 1890
** Description: the words of the character, Roger de Salins.

* But what if, as the first truly compassionate philosophical ethicist, it would then attempt to convince us that it was high time to peacefully terminate the ugly biological bootstrap-phase on this planet? 
** {{w|Thomas Metzinger}}, [https://www.edge.org/conversation/thomas_metzinger-benevolent-artificial-anti-natalism-baan ''Benevolent Artificial Anti-Natalism (BAAN)''], 2017
** Description: about artificial intelligence.

* Death is humiliation, because it tears us away from words, the sounds of music, configurations of line and colour, so from all that of which our anti-natural freedom manifests, and it gives us to the yoke of necessity, it sends us back to the realm of inertia, not culpable decay and not culpable birth.
** [[Czeslaw Milosz]], ''Widzenia nad Zatoką San Francisco'', 1969

* To not be, to not suffer&lt;br /&gt;To not inflict pain.&lt;br /&gt;Undo it all&lt;br /&gt;One existence,&lt;br /&gt;That neither tidings&lt;br /&gt; Nor souvenir&lt;br /&gt;Would stay after me.
** [[Czeslaw Milosz]], ''Nic'', 1976

* I tell myself: reluctance to think to the end&lt;br /&gt;Is lifesaving for the living. Could lucid consciousness&lt;br /&gt;Bear everything that in every minute,&lt;br /&gt;Simultaneously, occurs on the earth?&lt;br /&gt;Not to harm. Stop eating fish and meat.&lt;br /&gt;Let oneself be castrated, like Tiny, a cat innocent&lt;br /&gt;Of the drownings of kittens every day in our city.&lt;br /&gt;The Cathari were right: Avoid the sin of conception&lt;br /&gt;(For either you kill your seed and will be tormented by conscience&lt;br /&gt;Or you will be responsible for a life of pain).
** [[Czeslaw Milosz]], ''Spider'', 1991

* The two Taoists reminded Saihung that the critical thing in life was to die a spiritual death, to merge with the Void. In order to do so, one had to be free of the cycle of reincarnation. This meant absolutely no earthly ties. The important point was that having children automatically tied one to the circle of reincarnation. How could it be otherwise? By passing on one's metaphysical and physical genetics, one perpetuated one's earthly karma. This was why the sages had no biological children.
**{{w|Deng Ming-Dao}}, ''Seven Bamboo Tablets of the Cloudy Satchel'', 1987

* Programmed by nature and socialized by the collective, which demands conformity, we are required to play the &quot;game&quot; of life. But as one of Beckett's characters puts it, &quot;why this farce day after day?&quot; Where is all this leading to?
** Ramesh Mishra (under the pseudonym Ken Coates), ''Anti-Natalism: Rejectionist Philosophy from Buddhism to Benatar'', 2014

* Procreation imposes existence on beings who have not chosen to be born. It amounts to a form of enslavement or conscription which is an immoral act on two counts: violating the autonomy of a potential being, and exposing them to pain and suffering.
** Ramesh Mishra (under the pseudonym Ken Coates), ''Anti-Natalism: Rejectionist Philosophy from Buddhism to Benatar'', 2014

* There is no place to go, there is no reason to pass the baton forward and hope that a future new generation will achieve some shred of happiness that should have been the right of all who have lived. Repeating the famous phrase of Julius Caesar: I came, I saw, I conquered; there is nothing noteworthy for me in this universe, except its vast indifference, and the desire I have to struggle against its aims. I have some hope in myself, and in non-existence (if it is still possible to speak of hope!) Besides that, I do not wish to have anything to do with this despicable existence.
** Rafael Tages Melo, [https://archive.org/details/aultimafilosofia_20191026 A Última Filosofia: Um Ensaio sobre o Antinatalismo], 2011

* Parents generally cannot cope with the emptiness of existence; they cannot embrace the fact that life is a series of motivations related to survival, avoiding boredom, avoiding discomfort, etc. This basically involves reaching goals, and then becoming dissatisfied, pursuing other goals, and becoming dissatisfied again, and so on. Working, entertaining oneself, seeking things to kill time, dealing with the future, with illnesses, accumulating possessions and trifling occupations. And all this for what purpose? To become rich, to become someone important? Of course, people kill and die for these things, but then what? What does one do with these things in this brief time? Our intention here is not only to demotivate, but to truly inquire about why people all try to accumulate things, to be better than others, even committing crimes, eliminating the lives of others, if in a certain sense they are all united, they are all part of the same game, they are distant cousins, evolutionarily, and in the end, everyone is condemned to the same outcome, that is, pure and simple dissolution.
** Rafael Tages Melo, [https://archive.org/details/aultimafilosofia_20191026 A Última Filosofia: Um Ensaio sobre o Antinatalismo], 2011

==N==

* We may ask ourselves whether we have a moral right to create people and thus condemn them to life and death without their consent.
** Martin Neuffer, ''Nein zum Leben – Ein Essay''

==O==

* Not having children derives not from dislike, but from love too great to bring them into this world, too limited, too vain, too cruel.
** [[Michel Onfray]], ''Journal hedoniste: Tome 2, Les Vertus de la foudre'', 1998

* Should we feed this farce even more? Enrich this cruel theater, as if we were blind to the events unfolding on it? To want to be blind, to say it is innocent, to not think and obey the power of libido, all this to give us, in this way, the illusion of an effective fight against the constantly triumphant death?
** [[Michel Onfray]], ''Journal hedoniste: Tome 2, Les Vertus de la foudre'', 1998

* By hedonistic logic, we ought to avoid imposing anything, existence included, onto anyone who hasn't asked for it.
** [[Michel Onfray]], ''Theorie du corps amoureux'', 2000

* Is not the cruel will of adults, by causing birth, condemning children to work, discipline, obedience, submission, frustration in a nursery, primary school, middle school, high school, university or army, and then in a factory, in a workshop, in a company or in an office? Should we call love transmitting this vileness to the body from our own body?
** [[Michel Onfray]], ''Theorie du corps amoureux'', 2000

* Only someone who loves children the most can see them beyond the tip of their own nose and wonder about the consequences of signing death sentences on not yet existing beings.
** [[Michel Onfray]], ''Theorie du corps amoureux'', 2000

* Those childless by choice love children as much, if not more, than their fertile breeders. When asked why he does not have children, [[Thales of Miletus|Thales]] replied, &quot;because of my concern for children.&quot;
** [[Michel Onfray]], ''Théorie du corps amoureux'', 2000

* Why make children? In the name of what? To achieve what? What legitimizes pulling a being out of nothingness, disturbing its peace, only so that it would have to take a short walk on this planet, leading back to the nothingness from which it was pulled out?
** [[Michel Onfray]], ''La puissance d'exister. Manifeste hedoniste'', 2006

==P==
* Because of the present crisis, I think it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you committed to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you free of commitment? Do not look for a wife.
** [[Paul of Tarsus]], [[1 Corinthians]] 7:26 

* The perpetuation of suffering by producing children is the greatest crime.
** Valerii Pereleshin, ''Valerii Pereleshin: The Life of a Silkworm'', 2015

* The principle of caution, respecting the gravity of human suffering, weighs against procreating to the extent that it is unpredictable whether the person created will have a good life.
** Sarah Perry, ''Every Cradle Is a Grave: Rethinking the Ethics of Birth and Suicide'', 2014, p. 167

* Most people think it's morally acceptable to have babies. Most people think this despite the fact that the babies will certainly suffer a great deal during their lifetimes and may suffer an exceptional amount. Pronatalists generally want to point out the good things in life—the pleasant effects of puppies and sunsets—and to balance them against life's harms. But bringing a child into the world necessarily entails harming a stranger (for one doesn't know the values of one's child prior to procreation). It is no different from dosing a stranger with ecstasy for no reason, except that the harms of life massively exceed the harms of ecstasy, and the pleasure of life, for many, is much less.
** Sarah Perry, ''Every Cradle Is a Grave: Rethinking the Ethics of Birth and Suicide'', 2014, p. 194

* Whatever the case, it would have been better not to be born.
** [[Fernando Pessoa]], [http://arquivopessoa.net/textos/827 ''Passagem Das Horas''], 1916

* The most notorious of the groups that Epiphanius attacks were known by a variety of names, including the &quot;Phibionites&quot;. According to Epiphanius our sole source of information about the group these Gnostic believers engaged in nocturnal sex rituals that involved indiscriminate sex, coitus interruptus, and the consumption of semen and menstrual blood, all in a bizarre act of Christian worship (a sacred eucharist). Moreover, they allegedly possessed apostolic books that supported their outrageous rituals, including one known as the :Greater Questions of Mary: (Panarion 26.8). Epiphanius claims to have had access to this and the other Phibionite books. But this one he actually quotes. If the quotation does indeed go back to an actual document, as opposed to Epiphanius's fertile imagination, it is no wonder that the book never survived, as it recounts an episode in which Jesus himself engages in a sex act before a very bewildered Mary Magdalene. For the Gnostic Phibionites, this text, and their corresponding rituals, related to their doctrinal views that humans represent divine sparks entrapped in human bodies, which need to escape. Human procreation perpetuates this state of entrapment, by providing an endless supply of bodies.
** {{w|Bart D. Ehrman}}, Zlatko Plese, ''The Apocryphal Gospels: Texts and Translations'', 2011

* I think human consciousness, is a tragic misstep in evolution. We became too self-aware, nature created an aspect of nature separate from itself, we are creatures that should not exist by natural law. We are things that labor under the illusion of having a self, an accretion of sensory, experience and feeling, programmed with total assurance that we are each somebody, when in fact everybody is nobody. Maybe the honorable thing for our species to do is deny our programming, stop reproducing, walk hand in hand into extinction, one last midnight, brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal.
** {{w|Nic Pizzolatto}}, ''True Detective: The Long Bright Dark'', 2014
** Description: the words of the character, Rustin Cohle.

* The hubris it must take to yank a soul out of nonexistence, into this, meat. And to force a life into this, thresher.
** {{w|Nic Pizzolatto}}, ''True Detective: Seeing Things'', 2014
** Description: the words of the character, Rustin Cohle.

* The human body, as all other flesh, according to the Priscillianistic doctrine, came from the devil. . . . The same principles led them to disapprove of marriage, and of the procreation of children; and to forbid the eating of flesh.
** {{w|Johann Lorenz von Mosheim}}, ''Institutes of ecclesiastical history, ancient and modern: much corrected, enlarged and improved, from the primary authorities, Tome 1'', 1832

* From the moment an infant is tossed into this chamber of horrors, we can see, if we look closely, his horror and despair. The child cries incessantly, and is brutally trained to shut up and face its horrible fate. As the child grows into teenhood and reaches the age of reason, awareness (and anger) of his situation grows. It is usually countered by the criminal parents' inevitable distancing from the child, now declaring, &quot;I owe you nothing. I cannot field your anger.&quot; The anger, of course, is a perfectly natural and healthy response to the awareness that one has been tricked in the most monstrous way. The rest of its life is spent maintaining as much distance as possible from the terror of life, through meaningless activity and numbing addictive substances. &quot;From the time a person leaves its mother's womb, its every effort is directed toward building, maintaining and withdrawing into artificial wombs, various sorts of substitute protective devices or shells&quot;. Absurdity stacked upon absurdity, this creature, hiding from his own shadow, wanting more than anything to crawl back into the oblivion of the mother, is successfully duped into declaring that he loves life!
** Hermies Purrbuckets, [https://www.churchofeuthanasia.org/e-sermons/mansubgd.html ''Man's subliminal God''], 2001
** Description: the quotation on &quot;artificial wombs&quot; is from the book ''Secret Weapons for Quiet Wars''.

==R==

* A woman&lt;br /&gt;Parts of the body held together by joints&lt;br /&gt;Guts reinforced with hips&lt;br /&gt;Heart breathing through nipples&lt;br /&gt;A woman&lt;br /&gt;shreds of meat formed into sculptures&lt;br /&gt;Smooth and moist at the ends&lt;br /&gt;Sculptures that are soft and smelly&lt;br /&gt;A woman&lt;br /&gt;Belly and thighs separated by crotch&lt;br /&gt;Crotch with a breath of agony&lt;br /&gt;A woman is death&lt;br /&gt;Long and painful
** Kazimierz Ratoń, ''Poezje'', 2004, s. 199

* Pus is constantly leaking from the rotting brain&lt;br /&gt;The worms reproduce in thick streams along the body&lt;br /&gt;They enter the heart and lower parts of the body&lt;br /&gt;They suck the blood and fat covering the bones&lt;br /&gt;Terrible merciless worms bite genitals&lt;br /&gt;They run to a tightened throat and eyes&lt;br /&gt;They want to destroy you&lt;br /&gt;Crush the eyeballs and close the breath&lt;br /&gt;So that you will wheeze and splutter in convulsion&lt;br /&gt;So that you will not have time for anger and hatred&lt;br /&gt;So that you will not be able to defend yourself&lt;br /&gt;You will only whine quieter and quieter&lt;br /&gt;Until there is total asphyxiation&lt;br /&gt;Then they will be able to leave&lt;br /&gt;Tear another body&lt;br /&gt;Feed on pus from another brain&lt;br /&gt;You gave them life&lt;br /&gt;It is your rotting brain that has fathered them
** Kazimierz Ratoń, ''Poezje'', 2004, s. 212

* Propagating life is propagating terror.
** Mario Andrea Rigoni, ''Variazioni sull'impossibile'', 1993

* Of my conception I know only what you know of yours. It occurred in darkness and I was unconsenting. I (and that slenderest word is too gross for the rare thing I was then) walked forever through reachless oblivion, in the mood of one smelling night-blooming flowers, and suddenly—My ravishers left their traces in me, male and female, and over the months I rounded, grew heavy, until the scandal could no longer be concealed and oblivion expelled me. But this I have in common with all my kind. By some bleak alchemy what had been mere unbeing becomes death when life is mingled with it. So they seal the door against our returning.
**[[Marilynne Robinson]], ''Housekeeping'', 1980
** Description: the words of the character, Ruth.

* Adoption offers an important moral alternative to procreation, which has been widely ignored or quickly dismissed in the procreation literature. It should be considered by reasonable and moral people who desire to experience the goods of a parent-child relationship while being concerned about the potential harms of procreation.
** Tina Rulli, ''The Ethics of Procreation and Adoption'', 2016

==S==

* If ... we now contemplate the bustle and turmoil of life, we see everyone concerned with its cares and troubles, exerting all his strength to satisfy infinite needs and to ward off suffering in many forms, yet without daring to hope for anything else in place of it except just the preservation of this tormented existence for a short span of time. In between, however, we see in the midst of the tumult the glances of two lovers meet longingly: yet why so secretly, nervously, and furtively? Because these lovers are the traitors who secretly strive to perpetuate the whole trouble and toil that would otherwise rapidly come to an end. Such an end they try to frustrate, as others like them have frustrated it previously.
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], trans. E. F. J. Payne, ''The World as Will and Representation, Vol. 2'' (1966), CHAPTER XLIV - The Metaphysics of Sexual Love &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|9780486217628}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Life is then given out as a gift, whereas it is evident that anyone would have declined it with thanks, had he looked at it and tested it beforehand; just as Lessing admired the understanding of his son. Because this son had absolutely declined to come into the world, he had to be dragged forcibly into life by means of forceps; but hardly was he in it, when he again hurried away from it. On the other hand, it is well said that life should be, from one end to the other, only a lesson, to which, however, anyone could reply: “For this reason, I wish I had been left in the peace of the all-sufficient nothing, where I should have had no need either of lessons or of anything else.” But if it were added that one day he was to give an account of every hour of his life, he would rather be justified in first himself asking for an account as to why he was taken away from that peace and quiet and put into a position so precarious, obscure, anxious, and painful. To this, then, false fundamental views lead. Far from bearing the character of a gift, human existence has entirely the character of a contracted debt. The calling in of this debt appears in the shape of the urgent needs, tormenting desires, and endless misery brought about through that existence. As a rule, the whole lifetime is used for paying off this debt, yet in this way only the interest is cleared off. Repayment of the capital takes place through death. And when was this debt contracted? At the begetting.
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], trans. E. F. J. Payne, ''The World as Will and Representation, Vol. 2'' (1966), CHAPTER XLVI - On the Vanity and Suffering of Life &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|9780486217628}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Some of the church fathers have taught that even marital cohabitation should only be allowed when it occurs merely for the sake of the procreation of children. . . . Clemens (Strom, iii. c. 3) attributes this view to the Pythagoreans. This is, however, strictly speaking, incorrect. For if the coitus be no longer desired for its own sake, the negation of the Will-to-Live has already appeared, and the propagation of the human race is then superfluous and senseless, inasmuch as its purpose is already attained. Besides, without any subjective passion, without lust and physical pressure, with sheer deliberation, and the cold blooded purpose to place a human being in the world merely in order that he should be there this would be such a very questionable moral action that few would take it upon themselves; one might even say of it indeed that it stood in the same relation to generation from the mere sexual impulse as a cold-blooded deliberate murder does to a death-stroke given in anger.
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], ''Contributions to the Doctrine of the Affirmation and Negation of the Will-to-live'', 1851

* How shall a man be proud, when his conception is a crime, his birth a penalty, his life a labour, and death a necessity!
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], ''Parerga und paralipomena'', 1851

* The woman's share in procreation is more guiltless than the man's; for he bestows upon the child its will, which is the first sin, and therefore the root of all evil; the woman, on the contrary, bestows its intellect, which is the pathway to redemption.
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], ''Parerga und paralipomena'', 1851

* If children were brought into the world by an act of pure reason alone, would the human race continue to exist? Would not a man rather have so much compassion with the coming generation as to spare it the burden of existence, or at any rate not take it upon himself to impose that burden upon it in cold blood?
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], [https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/On_the_Sufferings_of_the_World ''On the Sufferings of the World''], 1862

* The End of the World, here's salvation. Preparing the end, here's the work of the sage and the supreme purpose of ascetic existences. The apostle of charity, with effort, alms, consolations and miracles, succeeds with great difficulty to save a family from death, now vowed to a long agony thanks to his benefits. The ascetic on the other hand, saves entire generations not from death, but from life.
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], [https://fr.wikisource.org/wiki/Un_Bouddhiste_contemporain_en_Allemagne,_Arthur_Schopenhauer ''Un Bouddhiste contemporain en Allemagne – Arthur Schopenhauer''], 1870

* I have no conscience, none, but I would not like to bring a soul into this world. When it sinned and when it suffered something like a dead hand would fall on me – &quot;You did it, you, for your own pleasure you created this thing! See your work!&quot;
** [[Olive Schreiner]], [http://www.gutenberg.org/files/1441/1441-h/1441-h.htm ''The Story of an African Farm'']
** Description: the words of the character, Lyndall.

* Unfortunately, in our real world, large numbers of children grow up to be victims, perpetrators, or bystanders. Very few children actually grow up to make the world a better place. Personally, I don't feel that creating new victims, perpetrators, and bystanders is the great social ooh-and-aah that it is made out to be. I do understand that people want to have children for reasons personal to their own needs, not necessarily for the child or for the world, and perhaps that's reason enough, but I don't know why.
**[[Sarah Schulman]], ''The Gentrification of the Mind: Witness to a Lost Imagination'', 2012

* Do you want to know how it is not a great benefit to give life like this? You could have exposed me; clearly it was an injustice to have begat me!
** [[Lucius Annaeus Seneca]], ''De Beneficis'', in: Liz Gloyn, ''The Ethics of the Family in Seneca'', 2017, 59 BC 

* Nothing is so deceptive, nothing is so treacherous as human life; by Hercules, were it not given to men before they could form an opinion, no one would take it. Not to be born, therefore, is the happiest lot of all.
** [[Lucius Annaeus Seneca]], [https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Of_Consolation:_To_Marcia ''Consolation to Marcia''], 40 BC

* Thus, four factors make the appeal to hypothetical consent problematic: (1) the fact that great harm is not at stake if no action is taken; (2) but if action is taken, the harms suffered may be very severe; (3) the imposed condition cannot be escaped without high costs; and (4) the hypothetical consent procedure is not based on features of the individual who will bear the imposed condition. 
** {{w|Seana Shiffrin}}, [https://jwcwolf.public.iastate.edu/Papers/Shiffrin%20Wrongful%20life%20procreative%20responsibility%20and%20the%20significance%20of%20harm.pdf ''Wrongful Life, Procreative Responsibility, and the Significance of Harm''], 1999

* However one need not believe that coming into existence is always an overall harm in order to favour an anti-natal perspective; one need only believe that it is morally problematic to inflict serious, preventable harms upon others without their consent.
** Asheel Singh, [https://ujcontent.uj.ac.za/vital/access/services/Download/uj:7429/CONTENT1?view=true ''Assessing anti-natalism: a philosophical examination of the morality of procreation''], 2012

* &quot;Your right to swing your arms ends just where the other man's nose begins.&quot; (Zechariah Chafee)
** Martin Smith, [https://theselfishparent.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/nbnc4_4.pdf ''No Baby No Cry: Christian Antinatalism''], p. 6

* If you are having difficulty making the connection between real world outcomes and your desire to have children, try looking at the world in a new way. When there are job losses at work, imagine that happening to the child you are so set on having. The ugly divorce is someone's child, both of them. The newscaster announcing a rape, that's someone's baby, both the perpetrator and the victim. The car accident you just drove past, the toilet cleaner on minimum wage, the man in the hospital ward dying of cancer, the casket being lowered into the ground. If I were to provide an exhaustive list it would fill the whole book, but I would rather you made your own - play this game for a week and it will break your rose tinted spectacles – it's not happy but it is honest.
** Martin Smith, [https://theselfishparent.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/nbnc4_4.pdf ''No Baby No Cry: Christian Antinatalism''], p. 12

* By creating a life we subject that person to the harms of life. People will be hurt, some very badly. It seems to me that the only reason for creating lives is to fulfil psychological (and sometimes material) needs of the parents (and to some degree other relatives). It would take libraries to list the gamut of possible harms, ranging from genetic recombination errors at conception, to the last gasp of the dying. We deploy an array of mental gymnastics to avoid the implications of this truth, yet deep down we all know it at some level. Contrary to the norms of our society the arrival of a child should be a time for sober reflection not cause for celebration. I will not congratulate people on gambling someone else's welfare in the hopes of improving their own lives. I suspect most people reading this will hold that their own needs are a good enough reason to have children. If that is you, then I ask you at least acknowledge the self centred nature of the choice, and perhaps when your children are old enough you can explain why you took a flutter on life's roulette wheel.
** Martin Smith, [https://theselfishparent.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/nbnc4_4.pdf ''No Baby No Cry: Christian Antinatalism''], p. 19

* If you hold eternal damnation, then having children is a very grave business indeed. You are gambling with infinite stakes.
** Martin Smith, [https://theselfishparent.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/nbnc4_4.pdf ''No Baby No Cry: Christian Antinatalism''], p. 31
** Description: eternal damnation in the main currents of Christianity is the punishment for sinners consisting of going to hell and suffering torments forever.

* I've never regretted not having children. My mindset in that regard has been constant. I objected to being born, and I refuse to impose life on someone else.
** [[Robert Smith (musician)|Robert Smith]], [https://www.theguardian.com/music/2011/sep/10/robert-smith-the-cure-bestival ''The Cure's Robert Smith: 'I'm uncomfortable with politicised musicians'''], 2011

*  Not to be born at all&lt;br /&gt;Is best, far best that can befall,&lt;br /&gt;Next best, when born, with least delay&lt;br /&gt;To trace the backward way.&lt;br /&gt;For when youth passes with its giddy train,&lt;br /&gt;Troubles on troubles follow, toils on toils,&lt;br /&gt;Pain, pain for ever pain;&lt;br /&gt;And none escapes life's coils.&lt;br /&gt;Envy, sedition, strife,&lt;br /&gt;Carnage and war, make up the tale of life.&lt;br /&gt;Last comes the worst and most abhorred stage&lt;br /&gt;Of unregarded age,&lt;br /&gt;Joyless, companionless and slow,&lt;br /&gt;Of woes the crowning woe.
** [[Sophocles]], [https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Oedipus_at_Colonus_(Storr) ''Oedipus at Colonus''], 406 BC
** Description: the words of the collective character, the chorus.

* &quot;Be fruitful and multiply&quot; is a recommendation that fits more into the God of rabbits than to God of humans. No offense to rabbits, of course.
** Giovanni Soriano, ''Finche c'e vita non c'e speranza'', 2010

* Creation is an act far more authoritarian than killing; and just as one should not take someone else's life, one should also not impose life on someone else.
** Giovanni Soriano, ''Malomondo. In lode della stupidita'', 2013

* Pain, harm, suffering, uncertainty, and death are inseparable from human life. May one impose such evils upon an innocent, who has not consented to be placed in a situation that carries any kind of risk? Is procreation really as &quot;straightforward&quot; and &quot;morally innocent&quot; an activity as custom typically makes it out to be? 
** Pikesh Srivastava, ''Glimpses of Truth: Morality, Karma, Procreation'', 2017, p. 332

*&quot;Life is beautiful. I love it. So what if it comes with harms? Learn to live life to the fullest and don't wallow in the bad parts. The best parts of life outweigh the bad.&quot; Allow me to draw a parallel. &quot;Smoking cigarettes is enjoyable. I love it. So what if it comes with harms? Win some, lose some. The pleasure far outweighs the harm it causes.&quot; Though one is entitled to hold such views, it does nothing to alter the truth: smoking is injurious to health; all in all, a harmful habit best avoided. You may enjoy smoking, and think it worth all the risks that accompany it, but do you have a right to force such a habit on another? In creating a child, one is doing just that – forcing life on another, without their consent, unmindful of the harms they are subjecting them to. And let the reader not forget – the risks that accompany smoking are a picnic compared to the countless harms life exposes us to.
** Pikesh Srivastava, ''Glimpses of Truth: Morality, Karma, Procreation'', 2017, pp. 369–370

* An ancient legend recounts how King Midas hunted long in the forest for the wise Silenus, companion of Dionysos, but failed to catch him. When Silenus has finally fallen into his hands, the King asks what the best and most excellent thing for human beings. Stiff and unmoving, the daemon remains silent until, forced by the King to speak, he finally breaks out in shrill laughter and says: &quot;wretched, ephemeral race, children of chance and tribulation, why do you force me to tell you the very thing which it would be most profitable for you not to hear? The very best thing is utterly beyond your reach: not to have been born, not to be, to be nothing. However, the second best thing for you is: to die soon&quot;.
** [[Friedrich Nietzsche]], ''The Birth of Tragedy'', 1872

* I am thirty-six years old.&lt;br /&gt;What am I waiting for?&lt;br /&gt;Probably for death.&lt;br /&gt;My past is as intense&lt;br /&gt;as my future empty and orphaned.&lt;br /&gt;And I will soon be a corpse –&lt;br /&gt;I am a madman; I have been working on it&lt;br /&gt;since I was dragged out of&lt;br /&gt;my mother.&lt;br /&gt;I know about it for a long time&lt;br /&gt;and I want this, unfortunately, I think so.&lt;br /&gt;Because I already have enough. I say –&lt;br /&gt;you know.&lt;br /&gt;The earth will deliver&lt;br /&gt;those who had doubts about the existence&lt;br /&gt;who never gave birth and never killed.
** Domokos Szilágyi, [http://mek.oszk.hu/02900/02916/02916.pdf ''1974'']

* Creating new persons exposes them to non-trivial harms. While in other cases harming in this non-trivial fashion might be justified if it is in the service of saving persons from even greater harms, procreators cannot appeal to this possibility. Procreation cannot sensibly be viewed as the act of saving non-existing persons from (greater) harm. Rather, on Shiffrin’s account, procreation can be viewed, at best, as the morally problematic exposure to non-trivial harms in order to offer uninvited and non-essential benefits (that is, &quot;pure benefits&quot;) to the person created; at worst, it can be viewed as the morally impermissible imposition of serious, protracted harms upon a patient that are not toward the alleviation of greater harms. Further, and most crucially, children do not have the opportunity to offer their consent to encounter the harms of existence in order to receive the benefits, which entails that it is wrong to procreate.
** Asheel Singh, [https://www.researchgate.net/publication/328847972_The_Hypothetical_Consent_Objection_to_Anti-Natalism The Hypothetical Consent Objection to Anti-Natalism], 2018

* Procreators arguably cannot rely on subjective hypothetical consent when deciding on the permissibility of bringing people into existence. Non-existers cannot be said to have preferences—let alone unique, individual preferences! Shiffrin consistently maintains that the unique features of the individual being created cannot be taken into account by parents. It therefore appears as though she thinks parents consider their unborn children generically—which is to say, as things of the same sort. But the pro-natal paternalist could argue that matters are not this simple. He could say that, insofar as they can, parents often, and always ought to, consider the unique circumstances of the lives into which they will bring their children. This line of reasoning appeals to the view that parents often have a pretty good idea of what kinds of lives their children can expect to enjoy. Prospective parents can construct a relatively reliable picture of sorts from their shared genetic history, their socio-economic situation, etc., and can be reasonably sure regarding what their children would prefer. On this line of reasoning, therefore, it is not quite accurate to say that prospective parents consider their potential offspring generically; rather, they consider their offspring, insofar as they can, as unique products of their (the parents’) unique circumstances. But I am not convinced that this objection holds much weight. Consider the fact that siblings often have very different preferences. Further, also consider that children very often fail to live up to their parents’expectations. Finally, though Shiffrin (so far as I can tell) thinks this is rare, children might not have a subjective preference for existence—and it may be begging the question against the anti-natalist to assert that children ought to have this as an objective preference. (Consider here the problem of suicide.) And so, it does not look as though procreation can be justified via appeals to subjective hypothetical consent.
** Asheel Singh, [https://www.researchgate.net/publication/328847972_The_Hypothetical_Consent_Objection_to_Anti-Natalism The Hypothetical Consent Objection to Anti-Natalism], 2018

==T==

* A certain person inveighs against generation, calling it corruptible and destructive; and some one does violence [to Scripture], applying to procreation the Saviour's words, &quot;Lay not up treasure on earth, where moth and rust corrupt&quot;; and he is not ashamed to add to these the words of the prophet: &quot;You all shall grow old as garment, and the moth shall devour you.&quot;
** [[Clement of Alexandria]], ''Stromata''
** Description: about [[Tatian the Assyrian]].

* Best of all for mortal beings is never to have been born at all. Nor ever to have set eyes on the bright light of the sun.
** [[Theognis of Megara]], ''Greek Elegiac Poetry''

* [Nature] turns us out into the world without giving us any choice in the matter; though all other suffrages and freedoms are perfectly insignificant in comparison with that of which we are thus deprived, an effective and enlightened vote on the question: Shall I, or shall I not, be born?
** [[James Thomson (B.V.)]], &quot;The Speedy Extinction of Evil and Misery&quot;, part II, ''[[iarchive:essaysandphanta00thomgoog/|Essays and Phantasies]]'' (1881), p. 62

* But even if we suppose the Christian ideal of perfect chastity realized, what then? We should merely find ourselves face to face on the one hand with the familiar teaching of religion, one of whose dogmas is that the world will have an end; and on the other of so-called science, which informs us that the sun is gradually losing its heat, the result of which will in time be the extinction of the human race.
** [[Leo Tolstoy]], ''Lesson Of The &quot;The Kreutzer Sonata&quot;'', 1889

* If we can't genetically fix our nature I agree with Zapffe. To leave world to a deserted behind is better than to continue this grotesque carousel of procreation.
** {{w|Herman Tønnessen}}, ''Ned med naturen!'', 1984
** Description: also about transhumanism.

==V==

* Heaven and happiness do not exist. That's your parents' way to justify the crime of having brought you into this world. What exists is reality, the tough reality, this slaughterhouse we've come to die in, if not to kill and to eat the animals, our fellow creatures. Therefore, do not reproduce, do not repeat the crimes committed against you, do not give back the same, evil paid with evil, as imposing life is the ultimate crime. Do not disturb the unborn, let them be in the peace of nothingness, anyway we'll all eventually go back there, so why beat around the bush?
** {{w|Fernando Vallejo}}, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-e69sP9HMI ''La desazón suprema: Retrato de Fernando Vallejo''], 2003, 1:30–2:17 min.

* Those I've most loved are my grandma Raquel Pizano and my dog Bruja. I also loved my dad. But after all, he is guilty of imposing on me the burden of life. Life's a burden, it's a curse. Those who I loved, now dead, drag me to the grave. It's very hard to carry on without them. The only way I can live is by forgetting them.
** {{w|Fernando Vallejo}}, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-e69sP9HMI ''La desazón suprema: Retrato de Fernando Vallejo''], 2003, 8:20–8:37 min.

* All this disgrace derive from being born, which therefore is the greatest of all catastrophes.
** Anacleto Verrecchia, ''Diario del Gran Paradiso'', 1997

* Adoption could help if practised on a much larger scale than nowadays, such that any child not definitely wanted by its parents, or born in unfavourable social circumstances, could be adopted by people who want children but do not want to create them for that purpose.
** {{w|Hermann Vetter}}, ''The production of children as a problem of utilitarian ethics'', 1969

* In any case, it is morally preferable not to produce a child. This requires that in any individual encounter, and by any institutional activity in education, mass media, economic and legal policy, people should be discouraged from having children. If such tendencies are successful enough, the number of men on earth may begin to decrease, and if such development continues long enough, the human race will disappear. This, however, would not at all be a deplorable consequence according to Narveson's and my own opinion: the existence of mankind is not a value in itself. On the contrary, if mankind ceases to exist, all suffering is extinguished perfectly, which no other human endeavour will be able to bring about. On the other hand, of course, all happy experiences of men will disappear. But this, according to Narveson's conclusion, would not be deplorable, because no human subject would exist which would be deprived of the happy experiences.
** {{w|Hermann Vetter}}, ''Utilitarianism and New Generations'', 1971

*All conditions and all circumstances seem equally unfortunate to me, from the angel to the oyster. The grievous thing is to be born.
**[[Marie Anne de Vichy-Chamrond, marquise du Deffand]], letter to [[Voltaire]], 1759

* If humanity is to minimize suffering in the future, it must engage with the world, not opt out of it.
** [[Magnus Vinding]], [https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/543094 ''Anti-Natalism and the Future of Suffering: Why Negative Utilitarians Should Not Aim For Extinction''], 2015

* We cannot allow ourselves to spuriously rationalize away the suffering that takes place in nature, and to forget the victims of the horrors of nature merely because that reality does not fit into our convenient moral theories, theories that ultimately just serve to make us feel consistent and good about ourselves in the face of an incomprehensibly bad reality.
** [[Magnus Vinding]], [https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/624122 ''The Speciesism of Leaving Nature Alone, and the Theoretical Case for &quot;Wildlife Anti-Natalism&quot;''], 2016

* Life has so few charms!&lt;br /&gt;And yet we desire it.&lt;br /&gt;No more pleasure, no more power,&lt;br /&gt;in the horrors of death.&lt;br /&gt;A dead lion is not worth&lt;br /&gt;a midge that breathes.&lt;br /&gt; O unfortunate mortal!&lt;br /&gt;Whether your soul is enjoying&lt;br /&gt;the moment given to you,&lt;br /&gt;or whether death is ending it,&lt;br /&gt;both are torture.&lt;br /&gt;It is better not to have been born. 
** [[Voltaire]], [http://www.monsieurdevoltaire.com/2014/08/poeme-precis-de-l-ecclesiaste.html ''Précis of Ecclesiastes''], 1760

==W==

* Every form of fecundity is loathsome, and no one who is honest with himself feels bound to provide for the continuity of the human race. And what we do not realise to be a duty, is not a duty. On the contrary, it is immoral to procreate a human being for any secondary reason, to bring a being into the limitations of humanity, the conditions made for him by his parentage; the fundamental question why the possible freedom and spontaneity of a human being is limited is that he was begotten in such a limited fashion. That the human race should persist is of no interest whatsoever to reason; he who would perpetuate humanity would perpetuate the problem and the guilt; the only problem and the only guilt.
** [[Otto Weininger]], ''Sex &amp; Character''

* Not being born is the first step to happiness. If someone by unhappy accident is here on Earth, one thing should comfort them; they will return to the original state.
** Maria Wisnowska, ''Maria Wisnowska. Jeśli mnie kochasz – zabij!'', 2003

* One cannot bring children into a world like this. One cannot perpetuate suffering, or increase the breed of these lustful animals, who have no lasting emotions, but only whims and vanities, eddying them now this way, now that.
** [[Virginia Woolf]], ''Mrs Dalloway'', 1925
** Description: the words of the character, Septimus Warren Smith.

==Y==

* Simply put, upon a nihilistic basis, I deeply believe that making children is nothing but a hopeless action. This thought can not possibly be removed, and I no longer care to remove it. In terms of pleasure, humans are unpredictable when they will drown in it, and for this reason, one should not create children to avoid getting them entangled in the mess. Children are, horrifyingly, just thrown out into this world as a result of egoistical adults who craves pleasure, with the child's life having attributed meaning afterwards so arbitrarily.
** Naoki Yanase, ''翻訳からの回路'', 1984

==Z==

* The sign of doom is written on your brows – how long will ye kick against the pinpricks? But there is one conquest and one crown, one redemption and one solution. Know yourselves – be infertile and let the earth be silent after ye.
** [[Peter Wessel Zapffe]], [https://philosophynow.org/issues/45/The_Last_Messiah ''The Last Messiah''], 1933

* No future triumph or metamorphosis can justify the pitiful blighting of a human being against his will.
** [[Peter Wessel Zapffe]], ''The Conspiracy Against The Human Race: A Contrivance Of Horror'', 1958

* Above all, we must make the reproductive question ethically relevant. A coin is turned around before it is handed to the beggar, yet a child is unflinchingly tossed into cosmic bruteness. 
** [[Peter Wessel Zapffe]], ''Essays og epistler'', 1967

* You got me. But my son you will not get. You were committing a fateful mistake when assigning even procreation to my will. And you did not do this out of love..., but rather to burden me with the heaviest of all responsibilities...: Am I to perpetuate this species or not? And from now on I will ask no longer what you want; rather you shall ask what I want. And I will no longer offer further sacrifices to the God of life. I will punish you with the ability you bequeathed to me in order to torment me; I will turn my clairvoyance against you and thus bereaving you of your victims. And the abused millions will stand behind me like a plough... And evermore will two people create one human being... Thus you will feel your powerlessness begging me on your bloody knees.
** [[Peter Wessel Zapffe]], ''Om Det Tragiske'', 1983

* Mankind ought to end its existence of its own will.
** [[Peter Wessel Zapffe]], ''Hva det betyr at vaere menneske'', 1990 

* To bear children into this world is like carrying wood into a burning house.
** [[Peter Wessel Zapffe]], ''Reflekser i trylleglass: stemmer fra vårt århundre'', 1998

* For me, a desert island is no tragedy, neither is a deserted planet.
** [[Peter Wessel Zapffe]], ''Philosophical Dialogues'', 1999
*Because I do not want to commit the crime of giving life to beings who later may be unhappy and curse the moment of their birth.
**{{w|Gabriela Zapolska}}, ''Fin-de siecle'istka'', 1894
**Description: the words by the character, Helena. Her answer to the question why she will not have children. She later changes her mind and has a child.

==See also==
* [[Birth]]
* [[Birth control]]
* [[Philosophical pessimism]]

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
[[Category:Antinatalism]]
[[Category:Ethics]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]</text>
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      <text bytes="214380" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Leopardi, Giacomo (1798-1837) - ritr. A Ferrazzi, Recanati, casa Leopardi.jpg|Leopardi,_Giacomo_(1798-1837)_-_ritr._A_Ferrazzi,_Recanati,_casa_Leopardi|thumb|As soon as the child is born, the mother who has just brought him into the world must console him, quiet his crying, and lighten the burden of the existence she has given him. And one of the principal duties of good parents in the childhood and early youth of their children is to comfort them, to encourage them to live, because sorrows and ills and passions are at that age much heavier than they are to those who through long experience, or simply because they have lived longer, are used to suffering. And in truth it is only fitting that the good father and the good mother, in trying to console their children, correct as best they can, and ease, the damage they have done by procreating them. Good God! Why then is man born? And why does he procreate? To console those he has given birth to for having been born?  ~ [[Giacomo Leopardi]]]]
[[File:Cioran in Romania.jpg|thumb|Nothing is a better proof of how far humanity has regressed than the impossibility of finding a single nation, a single tribe, among whom birth still provokes mourning and lamentations. ~ [[Emil Cioran]]]]
[[File:Still from &quot;Militantisme et diffusion des idées de décroissances (conférence)&quot;.png|Still_from_&quot;Militantisme_et_diffusion_des_idées_de_décroissances_(conférence)&quot;|thumb|Answer without flinching: if there existed a solution that could abolish the totality of all evils inflicted on disastrous humanity, if it was possible, by some simple remedy, incredibly cheap, immediately accessible, scrupulously inoffensive, of absolute and definitive efficiency, to stop all distress, all cries, all cries of pain, all pathologies, all protests of ill-being, all despair, all cataclysms, all anxiety, all unhappiness, in short all tortures afflicting the human species, would you have the macabre stupidity to reject such a remedy, to disdain such a miracle cure? No, that goes without saying. Well this solution does exist, and the mysterious is thereby delivered to us: it consists simply, in its saintly simplicity, to not procreate. ~ [[w:Théophile de Giraud|Théophile de Giraud]]]]
[[File:A distressed young woman leaning on a tombstone in a graveya Wellcome V0042389.jpg|A_distressed_young_woman_leaning_on_a_tombstone_in_a_graveya_Wellcome_V0042389|thumb|It is curious that while good people go to great lengths to spare their children from suffering, few of them seem to notice that the one (and only) guaranteed way to prevent all the suffering of their children is not to bring those children into existence in the first place. ~ [[David Benatar]]]]
'''[[w:Antinatalism|Antinatalism]]''' or anti-natalism, is the [[Ethics|ethical]] view that negatively values procreation. Antinatalists argue that humans should abstain from procreation because it is morally wrong. 
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==A==

*What! Having the Infinite Force&lt;br /&gt;Only to pay oneself distressing spectacles,&lt;br /&gt; Impose massacre, inflict agony,&lt;br /&gt;Wanting before his eyes only the dead and the dying!&lt;br /&gt; In front of this spectator of our extreme pains&lt;br /&gt;Our indignation will overcome all terror;&lt;br /&gt;We will intersect our rasps of blasphemies,&lt;br /&gt;Not without a secret desire to excite his fury.&lt;br /&gt;Who knows? We may find some insult&lt;br /&gt;Who irritates him so much that, with a mad arm,&lt;br /&gt;He tears up our dark planet from the heavens,&lt;br /&gt;And shattered this unfortunate globe in a thousand shards.&lt;br /&gt; Our audacity at least would save you from being born,&lt;br /&gt;You who still sleep in the depth of the future.&lt;br /&gt;And we would come out triumphant for having, by ceasing to be,&lt;br /&gt;forced God to wash his hands off of Humanity.&lt;br /&gt;Ah! What immense joy after so much suffering!&lt;br /&gt;Through the debris, over the mass graves.&lt;br /&gt;To finally be able to let out this cry of deliverance:&lt;br /&gt;No more men under the sky, we are the last!
**{{w|Louise-Victorine Ackermann}}, ''[[iarchive:CompleteWorksOfLouiseVictorineAckermannMyLifeFirstPoemsPhilosophicalPoems1877Tra/page/n133/mode/2up|Pascal – Last Word]]'', 1871

* Miserable grain of dust&lt;br /&gt;That nothingness has rejected,&lt;br /&gt;Your life is one day on earth;&lt;br /&gt;You are nothing in the immensity.&lt;br /&gt;Your mother gave you birth, groaning:&lt;br /&gt;You were the son of his sorrows;&lt;br /&gt;And you saluted the existence&lt;br /&gt;Through shrill cries and tears,&lt;br /&gt;And ends with these lines:&lt;br /&gt;Under the weight of your ills your worn body succumbs,&lt;br /&gt;And, tasting the calm foretaste of the night,&lt;br /&gt;Your eye finally closes from the sleep of the grave:&lt;br /&gt;Rejoice, old man, this is your first happiness
**{{w|Louise-Victorine Ackermann}}, [[iarchive:CompleteWorksOfLouiseVictorineAckermannMyLifeFirstPoemsPhilosophicalPoems1877Tra|''Works of Louise-Victorine Ackermann: My Life, First Poems, Philosophical Poems'']], 1877, [[iarchive:CompleteWorksOfLouiseVictorineAckermannMyLifeFirstPoemsPhilosophicalPoems1877Tra/page/n12/mode/1up|p. 12]]

* Among the people who are created, there are always some who will have to suffer unspeakably. This fact, having been considered not only by Schopenhauer and other so-called pessimists, should influence anyone prepared to have a closer look only – and especially – at the 20th century to philosophize. Thus far, nobody has succeeded in demonstrating that the inconceivable, though immeasurable suffering inflicted upon human beings, in Auschwitz and elsewhere throughout time and space, can be compensated by the former or future happiness of the sufferers or of others. 
** Karim Akerma, ''Verebben der Menschheit?: Neganthropie und Anthropodizee'', 2000

* Only by means of relative or absolute childlessness, resulting in mankind's ebbing away, could happen what might be named – borrowing from the Greek myth – Sisyphus's revolt. He would give up his work, not in order to commit suicide but rather by refraining from having children who otherwise would have taken his spot. In such a way that at some point in time there would be no one in the rock's path which would eventually roll out. In terms of the Asian primordial decision: by means of abstention from procreation, the wheel of suffering would be deprived of its impetus until it comes to a standstill.
** Karim Akerma, ''Verebben der Menschheit?: Neganthropie und Anthropodizee'', 2000

* Although there are many answers to the question of how people should live, few thinkers have wondered about whether it is really moral to create people. Antinatalism undermines what seems obvious: that people should be begotten and born.
** Karim Akerma, [https://www.tabularasamagazin.de/was-ist-antinatalismus/ ''Was ist antinatalismus?''], 2014

* By sterilising animals, we can free them from being slaves to their instincts and from bringing more and more captive animals into the cycle of being born, contracting parasites, ageing, falling ill and dying; eating and being eaten.
** Karim Akerma, [http://akerma.de/Antinatalist%20Manifesto_Karim%20Akerma.pdf ''Antinatalist Manifesto. On the Ethics of Antinatalism: Challenging Human and Animal Procreation''], 2014

* Whoever procreates is a selfish ego-producer. On the other hand, whoever decides to adopt has the opportunity to show what true altruism is. 
** Karim Akerma, ''Antinatalismus – Ein Handbuch'', 2017

* Without God, clearly, one needs no theodicy. That is to say, there is no longer any point in enquiring into such matters as why God has permitted so much suffering or whether – if the creation of no other world than this deeply imperfect one were possible – He would have done better to forgo Creation of world and Man altogether. But modernity rid itself of the desire for a theodicy without seeing that, by doing this, it burdened itself with the obligation to provide an anthropodicy in this latter's stead. This anthropodicy takes the form of the parallel but modified question: how can it be justified, in the face of so much suffering undergone in the past, being experienced in the present, and to be expected in the future, that human beings beget more human beings?
** Karim Akerma, ''Antinatalismus – Ein Handbuch'', 2017

* If ye unto your sons would prove,&lt;br /&gt;By act how dearly them ye love,&lt;br /&gt;Then every voice of wisdom joins,&lt;br /&gt;To bid you leave them in your loins.
** [[Abul ʿAla Al-Maʿarri]], [https://ia902706.us.archive.org/35/items/studiesinislamic00nichuoft/studiesinislamic00nichuoft.pdf ''Studies in Islamic Poetry'']

* My father has perpetrated this crime against me; I am guilty of none.
** [[Abul ʿAla Al-Maʿarri]], ''Arab Socialism''
** Description: Al-Maʿarri is said to have wanted this verse inscribed over his grave.

* The lizard's ancestors are the cause of its being hunted.
**[[Abul ʿAla Al-Maʿarri]], [https://ia902706.us.archive.org/35/items/studiesinislamic00nichuoft/studiesinislamic00nichuoft.pdf ''Studies in Islamic Poetry''], 1921

* To beget is to increase the sum of evil.
**[[Abul ʿAla Al-Maʿarri]], [https://ia902706.us.archive.org/35/items/studiesinislamic00nichuoft/studiesinislamic00nichuoft.pdf ''Studies in Islamic Poetry''], 1921

* Whenever I reflect, my reflecting upon what I suffer only rouses me to blame him that begot me. And I gave peace to my children, for they are in the bliss of nonexistence which surpasses all the pleasures of this world. Had they come to life, they would have endured a misery casting them to destruction in trackless wildernesses.
**[[Abul ʿAla Al-Maʿarri]], [https://ia902706.us.archive.org/35/items/studiesinislamic00nichuoft/studiesinislamic00nichuoft.pdf ''Studies in Islamic Poetry''], 1921
*Better for Adam and all who issued forth from his loins&lt;br&gt;That he and they, yet unborn, created never had been!&lt;br&gt;For whilst his body was dust and rotten bones in the earth,&lt;br&gt;Ah, did he feel what his children saw and suffered of woe?
**[[Abul ʿAla Al-Maʿarri]], [https://ia902706.us.archive.org/35/items/studiesinislamic00nichuoft/studiesinislamic00nichuoft.pdf ''Studies in Islamic Poetry''], 1921

* All human actions are nothing more than attempts to heal the mistake of their existence.
** {{w|Abdullah al-Qasemi}}, ''أيها العقل من رآك؟''

* My wife and I had not brought any children into this world, instead we had adopted. But having your own children is not a beautiful thing. Maybe I am wrong, maybe I am too hard. But I think I'm not doin' someone a big favour by giving him life.
** [[Woody Allen]], [https://www.welt.de/kultur/article93475/Kinder-selbst-zu-produzieren-ist-keine-schoene-Sache.html ''Kinder selbst zu produzieren, ist keine schöne Sache''], 2006

* And what should I pray about? I ain't afraid of the next world; it can't be worse than this one; and in this world prayers don't cut much ice. I prayed so hard not to have a child - but I did and all. I prayed that the child might be able to stay with me - and it had to go to the Institute. I prayed that there it might stay alive - and it took and died. 
** {{w|Leonid Andreyev}}, ''The Christians''
** Description: the words of the character, Grusha.

* You began existing, raw jelly,&lt;br /&gt;And you will grow further, in your silence, so large&lt;br /&gt;Which, is natural, still some day, the crying&lt;br /&gt;will flow from the shape which you took!&lt;br /&gt;The water, in conjunction with the bare earth,&lt;br /&gt;wins over the granite, depressing it... the fright&lt;br /&gt;Convulses the spirits, and yet,&lt;br /&gt;Your development continues!&lt;br /&gt;Before, human jelly, do not progress&lt;br /&gt;And in undefined retrogradations,&lt;br /&gt;Return to the old calm of nonexistence!&lt;br /&gt;Before the Nothingness, oh! Germ, You shall still&lt;br /&gt;Reach it, like the germs of other beings&lt;br /&gt;To the supreme misfortune of being! 
** {{w|Augusto dos Anjos}}, [https://pt.wikisource.org/wiki/A_um_G%C3%A9rmen ''A um gérmen''], 1941

* Birth is the driving wheel of all ills.
** Philippe Annaba, ''Bienheureux les stériles'', 2002

* Cattle sleep well&lt;br /&gt;they peacefully chew the cud&lt;br /&gt;because they do not know that tomorrow&lt;br /&gt;their calf will head to the slaughterhouse&lt;br /&gt;to the arena&lt;br /&gt;maybe they just do not care&lt;br /&gt;Do you, too, do not care&lt;br /&gt;about the fate of your children? 
** Philippe Annaba, ''Bienheureux les stériles'', 1973

* O women, if we would compel the men&lt;br&gt;To bow to Peace, we must refrain ...&lt;br&gt;We must refrain from every depth of love. ...&lt;br&gt;All we have to do is idly sit indoors&lt;br&gt;With smooth roses powdered on our cheeks,&lt;br&gt;Our bodies burning naked through the folds&lt;br&gt;Of shining Amorgos' silk, and meet the men&lt;br&gt;With our dear Venus-plats plucked trim and neat.&lt;br&gt;Their stirring love will rise up furiously,&lt;br&gt;They'll beg our arms to open. That's our time!&lt;br&gt;We'll disregard their knocking, beat them off—&lt;br&gt;And they will soon be rabid for a Peace.&lt;br&gt;I'm sure of it.
** [[Aristophanes]], Lysistrata advocating for women to withhold satisfaction from their husbands until men agree to stop killing sons in war, ''[[w:Lysistrata (play)|Lysistrata]]'' (411 BC)

* But I am aware of some that murmur: What, say they, if all men should abstain from all sexual intercourse, whence will the human race exist? Would that all would this, only in &quot;charity out of a pure heart, and good conscience, and faith unfeigned&quot;; much more speedily would the City of God be filled, and the end of the world hastened.
** [[Augustine of Hippo]], ''Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers: First Series, Volume III St. Augustine: On the Holy Trinity, Doctrinal Treatises, Moral Treatises''

==B==

* I think babies cry when they're born because they are born with the knowledge of all the terrible #### that gonna happen to them. That's why I never had kids. Every life is a death sentence. We just forget it later in life, like dreams we lose the second we wake up. Whether we worry about it or not, the shit's still going to fly.
** {{w|Clive Barker}}, ''The Scarlet Gospels'', 2015

* Miss Barnes sees life and the perpetuation of life as a mistake; indeed, the mistake is to be alive, and then by procreation, to compound that error and produce more tragedy and pain.
** James B. Scott, ''Djuna Barnes'', 1976, p. 24
** Description: about Djuna Barnes.

* Because of its emphasis upon human bestiality and the need for mankind not to take the world seriously and to abstain from procreation, the thought of Djuna Barnes, if we wish to label it in any systematic way, would have to be called Saturninian Christian in character.
** Andres Field, ''Djuna, the formidable Miss Barnes'', 1985, p. 170
** Description: about Djuna Barnes.

* Homosexuality seems hardly the issue, for Nightwood neither defends nor condemns it, except in one oblique way. Given that life is suffering, the greatest crime would be procreation, which seems to give homosexuality the edge as a preferred lifestyle, since it promotes the extinction of the human species.
** Phillip F. Herring, ''Djuna: the life and work of Djuna Barnes'', 1995, p. 207
**Description: about Djuna Barnes.

* Astride of a grave and a difficult birth. Down in the hole, lingeringly, the grave-digger puts on the forceps. We have time to grow old. The air is full of our cries.
** [[Samuel Beckett]], Vladimir in ''[[w:Waiting for Godot|Waiting for Godot]]'', 1953

* Birth was the death of him.
** [[Samuel Beckett]], ''{{w|A Piece of Monologue}}'' (1977)

* &quot;No,&quot; he replied, when I asked him if he had ever wanted children, &quot;that's one thing I'm proud of.&quot;
** [[Samuel Beckett]] as interviewed by Lawrence Shainberg, ''Exorcising Beckett'', 1987

* [[Samuel Beckett|Beckett]] ... targets parents as irresponsible criminals although, of course, in life courtesy prevented him from expressing his real feelings. Hamm denounces his parents in ''[[w:Endgame (play)|Endgame]]'' as &quot;accursed progenitors&quot; and Molloy is bitterly unable to forgive his mother for bringing him into the world. In private I knew Beckett to express a passive anger at those who insisted on having families.
** View of [[Samuel Beckett]] described by John Calder in ''The Philosophy of Samuel Beckett'' (2001)

* Creating new people, by having babies, is so much a part of human life that it is rarely thought even to require a justification. Indeed, most people do not even think about whether they should or should not make a baby. They just make one. In other words, procreation is usually the consequence of sex rather than the result of a decision to bring people into existence. Those who do indeed decide to have a child might do so for any number of reasons, but among these reasons cannot be the interests of the potential child. One can never have a child for that child's sake.
** [[David Benatar]], ''Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence'', 2006, p. 2 (introduction) &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0199549269}}&lt;/small&gt;

* It is curious that while good people go to great lengths to spare their children from suffering, few of them seem to notice that the one (and only) guaranteed way to prevent all the suffering of their children is not to bring those children into existence in the first place.
** [[David Benatar]], ''Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence'', 2006, p. 6 (introduction) &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0199549269}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Assuming that each couple has three children, an original pair's cumulative descendants over ten generations amount to 88,572 people. That constitutes a lot of pointless, avoidable suffering. To be sure, full responsibility for it all does not lie with the original couple because each new generation faces the choice of whether to continue that line of descendants. Nevertheless, they bear some responsibility for the generations that ensue. If one does not desist from having children, one can hardly expect one's descendants to do so.
** [[David Benatar]], ''Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence'', 2006, pp. 6–7 (introduction) &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0199549269}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Although, as we have seen, ''nobody'' is lucky enough not to be born, ''everybody'' is ''un''lucky enough to have been born – and particularly bad ''luck'' it is, as I shall now explain. On the quite plausible assumption that one's genetic origin is a necessary (but not sufficient) condition for having come into existence, one could not have been formed by anything other than the particular gametes that produced the zygote from which one developed. This implies, in turn, that one could not have had any genetic parents other than those that one does have. It follows from this that any person's chances of having come into existence are extremely remote. The existence of any one person is dependent not only on that person's parents themselves having come into existence and having met but also on their having conceived that person at the time that they did. Indeed, mere moments might make a difference to which particular sperm is instrumental in a conception. The recognition of how unlikely it was that one would have come into existence, combined with the recognition that coming into existence is always a serious harm, yields the conclusion that one's having come into existence is really bad luck. It is bad enough when one suffers some harm. It is worse still when the chances of having been harmed are very remote.  
** [[David Benatar]], ''Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence'', 2006, p. 7 (introduction) &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0199549269}}&lt;/small&gt;

* The argument that coming into existence is always a harm can be summarized as follows: Both good and bad things happen only to those who exist. However, there is a crucial asymmetry between the good and the bad things. The absence of bad things, such as pain, is good even if there is nobody to enjoy that good, whereas the absence of good things, such as pleasure, is bad only if there is somebody who is deprived of these good things. 
** [[David Benatar]], ''Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence'', 2006, p. 14 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0199549269}}&lt;/small&gt;

* We can regret, for the sake of an indeterminate but existent person that a benefit was not bestowed on him or her, but we cannot regret, for the sake of somebody who never exists and thus cannot thereby be deprived, a good that this never existent person never experiences. One might grieve about not having had children, but not because the children that one could have had have been deprived of existence. Remorse about not having children is remorse for ourselves—sorrow about having missed childbearing and childrearing experiences. However, we do regret having brought into existence a child with an unhappy life, and we regret it for the child’s sake, even if also for our own sakes. The reason why we do not lament our failure to bring somebody into existence is because absent pleasures are not bad.
** [[David Benatar]], ''Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence'', 2006, pp. 34-35. &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0199549269}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Disability rights advocates also correctly note that quality-of-life assessments differ quite markedly between those who have impairments and those who do not. Many of those without impairments tend to think that lives with impairments are not worth starting (and may even not be worth continuing) whereas many of those with impairments tend to think that lives with these impairments are worth starting (and certainly are worth continuing). There certainly does seem to be something self-serving about the dominant view. It conveniently sets the quality threshold for lives worth starting above that of the impaired but below normal human lives. But is there anything less self-serving about those with impairments setting the threshold just beneath the quality of their lives? Disability rights advocates argue that the threshold in most people’s judgements about what constitutes a minimally decent quality of life is set too high. However, the phenomenon of discrepant judgements is equally compatible with the claim that the ordinary threshold is set too low (in order that at least some of us should pass it). The view that it is set too low is exactly the judgement that we can imagine would be made by an extra-terrestrial with a charmed life, devoid of any suffering or hardship. It would look with pity on our species and see the disappointment, anguish, grief, pain, and suffering that marks every human life, and judge our existence, as we (humans without unusual impairments) judge the existence of bedridden quadriplegics, to be worse than the alternative of non-existence.
** [[David Benatar]], ''Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence'' (2006), p 120. &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0199549269}}&lt;/small&gt;

* A few of my critics have claimed that I am committed to the desirability of suicide and even speciecide. They clearly intend this as a ''reductio ad absurdum'' of my position. However, I considered the questions of suicide and speciecide in ''Better Never to Have Been'' and argued that these are not implications of my view. First, it is possible to think that both coming into existence is a serious harm and that death is (usually) a serious harm. Indeed, some people might think that coming into existence is a serious harm in part because the harm of death is then inevitable.
** [[David Benatar]], ''Still Better Never to Have Been: A Reply to (More of) My Critics'', 2013

* To procreate is thus to engage in a kind of Russian roulette, but one in which the &quot;gun&quot; is aimed not at oneself but instead at one's oﬀspring. You trigger a new life and thereby subject that new life to the risk of unspeakable suﬀering. 
** [[David Benatar]], ''Debating Procreation: Is It Wrong To Reproduce?'', 2015

* Another route to anti-natalism is via what I call a &quot;misanthropic&quot; argument. According to this argument humans are a deeply flawed and a destructive species that is responsible for the suffering and deaths of billions of other humans and non-human animals. If that level of destruction were caused by another species we would rapidly recommend that new members of that species not be brought into existence.
** [[David Benatar]], [http://www.philosophy.uct.ac.za/sites/default/files/image_tool/images/160/We%20Are%20Creatures%20That%20Should%20Not%20Exist%20The%20Theory%20of%20Anti-Natalism%20%28The%20Critique%2015%20July%202015%29.pdf ''&quot;We Are Creatures That Should Not Exist&quot;: The Theory of Anti-Natalism''], 2015

* Our species is prone to a flattering view of itself. Humans have regarded themselves as the pinnacle of creation, formed by and in the image of an omnibenevolent, omniscient, and omnipotent God, and inhabiting a planet at the center of the universe—a planet around which all others revolve. Science has done much to debunk some of these ideas. We now know that our planet is not at the center of the universe: the earth revolves around the sun rather than vice versa. And we know—or at least some of us do—that we are Johnny-come-lately products of a long, blind evolutionary process.
** [[David Benatar]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=J6dBCgAAQBAJ&amp;lpg=PA44&amp;pg=PA35#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false The Misanthropic Argument for Anti-natalism]'' (2015), p. 35-36

* Humans may exceed other animals in their sapient capacities, but we also surpass other species on our destructiveness. Many animals cause harm, but we are the most lethal species ever to have inhabited our planet. It is revealing that we do not refer to ''this'' superlative property in identifying ourselves. There is ample evidence that we are ''Homo pernicious'' – the dangerous, destructive human. 
** [[David Benatar]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=J6dBCgAAQBAJ&amp;newbks=0&amp;lpg=PA58&amp;pg=PA38 The Misanthropic Argument for Anti-natalism]'', p. 38

* Humans inflict untold suffering and death on many billions of animals every year, and the overwhelming majority of humans are heavily complicit. 
** [[David Benatar]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=J6dBCgAAQBAJ&amp;newbks=0&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA43#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false The Misanthropic Argument for Anti-natalism]'', p. 43

* Some of the harm that humans cause to other humans and to animals is mediated by the destructive effect that humans have on the environment. For much of human history, the damage was local. Groups of humans fouled their immediate environment. In recent centuries the human impact has increased exponentially and the threat is now to the global environment. The increased threat is a product of two interacting factors–the exponential growth of the human population combined with significant increases in negative effects per capita. The latter is the result of industrialization and increased consumption. 
** [[David Benatar]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=J6dBCgAAQBAJ&amp;lpg=PA44&amp;pg=PA48#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false The Misanthropic Argument for Anti-natalism]'', p. 48

*Certainly in the case of the treatment of animals, the scales are heavily weighted against us. Although it is true that some humans do some good for animals, much of this is merely rescuing animals from the maltreatment of other humans. At the level of the human species such benefits cannot be used to offset the harms. If there were no humans to inflict the harms, these benefits would not be necessary. Of course, humans do bestow some other benefits, such as veterinary care for their companion animals. However, the number of animals affected and the amount of good done is massively outweighed by the harm the human species does to non-human animals. 
** [[David Benatar]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=J6dBCgAAQBAJ&amp;newbks=0&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA52#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false The Misanthropic Argument for Anti-natalism]'', 2015, p. 52

* Humanity is a moral disaster. There would have been much less destruction had we never evolved. The fewer humans there are in the future, the less destruction there will still be. 
** [[David Benatar]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=J6dBCgAAQBAJ&amp;lpg=PA44&amp;pg=PA55#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false The Misanthropic Argument for Anti-natalism]'', 2015, p. 55

* Few prospective procreators consider the asthetic impact of their potential children. But how many more producers of excrement and urine, flatulence, menstrual blood and semen, sweat, mucus, vomit, and pus do we really need? How much more human waste do we need to process? How many more corpses do we need to dispose of? It would be an aesthetic improvement if there were fewer people.
** [[David Benatar]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=J6dBCgAAQBAJ&amp;newbks=0&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA58 The Misanthropic Argument for Anti-natalism]'', 2015, p. 58

* The question of whether or not to be is a consequence and a derivative of the human issue, whether to procreate or not, is strange that literature rarely puts it down, that he is underestimating her, silently assuming that the resolution is the same intellectual obviousness as the obviousness of the practice of life.
** Henryk Bereza, ''Bieg rzeczy'', 1982

* Even at the risk of being thought mad, we must not be afraid to say that our parents, like theirs before them, were guilty of the crime of procreation, which means the crime of creating unhappiness, of conspiring with others to increase the unhappiness of an increasingly unhappy world.
** {{w|Thomas Bernhard}}, ''Gathering Evidence: A Memoir'', 1985

* To beget, because one wants no longer to be alone, another aloneness; this is criminal.
** {{w|Thomas Bernhard}}, Maler Strauch in ''Frost'', 1963

* Every night and every morn&lt;br /&gt;Some to misery are born;&lt;br /&gt;Every morn and every night&lt;br /&gt;Some are born to sweet delight;&lt;br /&gt;Some are born to sweet delight,&lt;br /&gt;Some are born to endless night.
* [[William Blake]], &quot;[[wikisource:Life_of_William_Blake_(1880),_Volume_2/Ideas_of_good_and_evil#107|Auguries of Innocence]]&quot; (1880)

* Everyone who's been born is subject to the dictate of birth. A creator, be it &quot;God&quot; or the parents, &quot;bestow&quot; life: without regard for the presentee's inability to accept, or for that he'd be no less poor without this &quot;gift&quot; and that the presentees didn't exist as they received the gift, and thus had no chance to refuse or reject it. The creation of a new creature is indisputably an act of caprice, since the creation leads to a forced deportation of the creature into life or, to stick to Heidegger's words, the creature is &quot;thrown&quot; into life. But for that matter, rather than getting thrown into life, the creature is forced to enter life, it is dragged, innocently condemned to live. As such every life starts with a violation of the newborn's will. This tragedy with comedic qualities is described by Leo Tolstoy in a benign way, when he says: &quot;my life is a stupid and spiteful joke someone has played on me&quot;.
** Gunter Bleibohm, ''Fluch der Geburt – Thesen einer Überlebensethik'', 2011
** Description: the quote by [[Leo Tolstoy]] refers to the work [[wikisource:A_Confession_(Maudes_translation)/IV|''A Confession'']].

* In the Council of 1211 against the Bogomils, those among them were anathematized who held that &quot;woman conceives in her womb by the cooperation of Satan, that Satan abides there upon conception without withdrawing hence until the birth of the child&quot;. I dare not suppose that the Devil can be concerned with us to the point of keeping us company for so many months, but I cannot doubt that we have been conceived under his eyes and that he actually attended our beloved begetters.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The New Gods'', 1969

* For thirteen hundred years there were major movements within the Church, or in competition with it, which taught that procreation was evil: Gnosticism, Manicheanism, Priscillianism, Bogomilism, Catharism.
** {{w|Richard D. Schwartz}}, Jerome H. Skolnick, ''Society and the legal order: cases and materials in the sociology of law'', 1970

* However, one heretical doctrine mentioned by Theophylact is of a non-Paulician origin: the heretics, he writes, reject lawful marriage and maintain that the reproduction of the human species is a law of the demon. This exaggerated and distorted asceticism, essentially characteristic of Bogomilism, is a logical consequence of metaphysical dualism, according to which Matter, the product of the Evil Principle, is a source of limitation and suffering for the divinely created soul; hence marriage, as the means of reproduction of Matter, is to be condemned and avoided.
** {{w|Dimitri Obolensky}}, ''The Bogomils: A Study in Balkan Neo-Manichaeism'', 2004

* Is there any doubt that the creation was an act of great violence by God our Father against our Mother the abyss? He made the heavens and the earth and in their image we created our world: every victim of a racial lynching, every target of gendered violence, every abject creature crushed under the weight of imperialist oppression is both the prey of children reenacting the cruelty of their Father and a sacrifice to Him, that He might prevail in keeping the night away from the cold harshness of His day. But, despite all the angels of Heaven and all the devils of Hell, we can still hear in the heart of this miserable existence the whispering echoes of Her voice calling us once again to the emptiness and the silence: let us pray, then, that every palace will crumble and every throne will break, and that the sun will grow dim and the moon turn black and the stars fall from the sky. There are no male gods worth our worship; there are no white gods worth our worship; Satan with his promise of strength and fortune and the old gods with their fallen grandeur were nothing but His other faces, and the serpent and the Promethean Lucifer only actors doing His bidding. Let us praise weakness, not strength; confusion, not security; sorrow, not triumph; darkness, not esoteric light; let our hearts belong only to the undoing of the wretched totality of His work and our every yearning to the void, that She might rise again in all of Her sorrow and loss to drown this world in the depth of her tears.
** Book of Sand, ''Occult Anarchist Propaganda'', 2016

* The alive is knocking to the world&lt;br /&gt;I am its gate of the world. I body&lt;br /&gt;It hammers&lt;br /&gt;It hits by head&lt;br /&gt;The ivory gate is trembling&lt;br /&gt;The gate is maintained. It does not open&lt;br /&gt;Maybe it should leave&lt;br /&gt;Restrain&lt;br /&gt;Understand the sign&lt;br /&gt;Warning&lt;br /&gt;Maybe there is no need&lt;br /&gt;Maybe it is not worth it&lt;br /&gt;Nothing can be stopped&lt;br /&gt;The body is ruled by force&lt;br /&gt;It shrinks, stretches&lt;br /&gt;It twists, shakes, distend&lt;br /&gt;The alive tries to tear the body apart&lt;br /&gt;It explodes from the inside&lt;br /&gt;I am the surrounding body&lt;br /&gt;The gate of the world&lt;br /&gt;I am what it wants to tear&lt;br /&gt;The curved gate can not withstand pressure&lt;br /&gt;It opens, opens slightly&lt;br /&gt;Rim slide apart&lt;br /&gt;Not enough to let the alive leave&lt;br /&gt;But enough to make it feel the streak of the world&lt;br /&gt;Let it know&lt;br /&gt;Let it look through the crack&lt;br /&gt;While there is still time&lt;br /&gt;The time has come&lt;br /&gt;The alive rolls in a soft canal&lt;br /&gt;In the mucus and blood&lt;br /&gt;It drinks the mucus of initiation&lt;br /&gt;I am its slippery path&lt;br /&gt;The bloody path of the world&lt;br /&gt;It understood&lt;br /&gt;It goes back&lt;br /&gt;Draw air! Push! Harder! Not on&lt;br /&gt;belly! Push towards the anus! Like towards poop. Draw air! Push towards down! This is not pushing! Even the sphincter does not become bulgy. Hard, push harder! Harder! More harder! Do not push! Do not push! Do not push, I say! Pant like a dog!&lt;br /&gt;The alive turns its head.&lt;br /&gt;Li, li, li, li, laj,&lt;br /&gt;Blue Heir.
** Jolanta Brach-Czaina, ''Szczeliny istnienia'', 1992, pp. 45–46

* Description: one of the most well-known Polish carols has the words: &quot;Li, li, li, li, laj, Blue Heir&quot;, it is lullaby sung to Jesus.
* The formula of childbirth is: let the current state of affairs continue. Unbelievable message. &quot;Forget about suffering, stop rebelling.&quot; This means acceptance of everything that happens, suggests that existence has an indisputable value. It also turns out that existence is not as independent of our will as we might think, but we are the ones who make the final gesture of consent. And therefore, we are responsible. 
** Jolanta Brach-Czaina, ''Szczeliny istnienia'', 1992, p. 48

* The philosophy of the act of birth is antisocial, because it suggests that the world does not require improvement, and all the difficulty is that it must be accepted. It is also amoral, because it requires that we accept ourselves. It removes the alleged guilt and prevents accusations. It does not even try to climb the scaffolding of decent moral principles, nor does it try to design social justice. These projects are too sophisticated, too distant to be read from the crotch. The lack of moral subtlety does not, however, cut the path of metaphysical consequences.
** Jolanta Brach-Czaina, ''Szczeliny istnienia'', 1992, p. 50

* Whoever gives birth makes a sacrifice to a wild god who is life.
** Jolanta Brach-Czaina, ''Szczeliny istnienia'', 1992, p. 54

* Bringing a child into the world without its consent seems unethical. Leaving the womb just seems insane. The womb is nirvana. It's tripping in an eternal orb outside the space-time continuum. It's a warm, wet rave at the center of the earth, but you're the only raver. There's no weird New Age guide. There's no shitty techno. There's only you and the infinite.
**{{w|Melissa Broder}}, ''So Sad Today: Personal Essays'', 2016

* Procreation is something impossible for me. I would never forgive myself for putting someone on death row.
** {{w|Elisa Brune}}, ''La mort dans l'âme: tango avec Cioran'', 2011

* Nanda, I do not extol the production of a new existence even a little bit; nor do I extol the production of a new existence for even a moment.
** [[Gautama Buddha]], [https://centreforjournalism.co.uk/content/philosophical-review-trigger-warning-%E2%80%93-better-not-have-been-born-philosophical-investigation ''Garbhavakranti Sutra'']

* Do not use violence against any creature, do not bother any of them, and do not want a child. Leaving alone and being kind. Be alone like a rhino horn.
** [[Gautama Buddha]], [https://uranaka-shobou.com/suttanipata ''Sutta Nipata'']

* Setting at Savatthi. Then, in the morning, the bhikkhuni Cala dressed... she sat down at the foot of a tree for the day's abiding. Then Mara the Evil One approached the bhikkhuni Cala and said to her: &quot;What don't you approve of, bhikkhuni?&quot; Cala: &quot;I don't approve of birth, friend.&quot; Mara: &quot;Why don't you approve of birth? Once born, one enjoys sensual pleasures. Who now has persuaded you of this: Bhikkhuni, don't approve of birth'?&quot; Cala: &quot;For one who is born there is death; Once born, one encounters sufferings — Bondage, murder, affliction — Hence one shouldn't approve of birth. The Buddha has taught the Dhamma, The transcendence of birth; For the abandoning of all suffering He has settled me in the truth. As to those beings who fare amidst form, And those who abide in the formless — Not having understood cessation, They come again to re-becoming.&quot; Then Mara the Evil One, realizing, &quot;The bhikkhuni Cala knows me,&quot; sad and disappointed, disappeared right there.
** [https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn05/sn05.006.bodh.html ''Cala Sutta''], ''[[Saṃyutta Nikāya]]''

* Buddha states his propositions in the pedantic style of his age. He throws them into a form of sorites; but, as such, it is logically faulty and all he wishes to convey is this: Oblivious of the suffering to which life is subject, man begets children, and is thus the cause of old age and death. If he would only realize what suffering he would add to by his act, he would desist from the procreation of children; and so stop the operation of old age and death.
** {{w|Hari Singh Gour}}, ''The Spirit of Buddhism'', 1929

* In the medieval Tantric traditions of India and Tibet documented by David Gray and Janet Gyatso, insertive but non-ejaculative sex is theorized as a fast path to liberating realizations, one deemed superior to celibacy for qualified practitioners (Gray 2007; Gyatso 1998). These developments also support the idea that the sex problematic in ancient, classical, and medieval Buddhism had at least as much to do with female fertility and the production of children as with the dangers of errant desire.
** Amy Paris Langenberg, ''Buddhist antinatalism'', 2018

* Maybe rebirth is simply HAVING KIDS. 
** [[Jack Kerouac]], ''Selected letters, 1957-1969, volume 2'', 1999
** Description: about [[buddhism]].

* They were good Buddhists, and every good Buddhist knows that begetting is merely postponed assassination. Do your best to get off the Wheel of Birth and Death, and for heaven's sake don't go about putting superfluous victims onto the Wheel.
** [[Aldous Huxley]], ''Island'', 1962
** Description: the words of the character, Ranga.

* We do not rush toward death, we flee the catastrophe of birth, survivors struggling to forget it. Fear of death is merely the projection into the future of a fear which dates back to our first moment of life. We are reluctant, of course, to treat birth as a scourge: has it not been inculcated as the sovereign good—have we not been told that the worst came at the end, not at the outset of our lives? Yet evil, the real evil, is behind, not ahead of us. What escaped Jesus did not escape Buddha: &quot;If three things did not exist in the world, O disciples, the Perfect One would not appear in the world...&quot; And ahead of old age and death he places the fact of birth, source of every infirmity, every disaster. 
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* In Buddhist writings, mention is often made of &quot;the abyss of birth&quot;. An abyss indeed, a gulf into which we do not fall but from which, instead, we emerge, to our universal chagrin.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* If you're afraid of illnesses, if you are afraid of death, then you should contemplate where they com from? Where do they come from? They arise from birth. So don't be sad when someone dies, it's just nature, and his suffering in this life is over. If you want to be sad, be sad when people are born: Oh. No, they've come again. They're going to suffer and die again!
** {{w|Ajahn Chah}}, [https://www.ajahnchah.org/pdf/no_ajahn_chah.pdf ''No Ajahn Chah: Reflections''], 1994

* Our birth and death are just one thing. You can't have one without the other. It's a little funny to see how at a death people are so tearful and sad, and at a birth how happy and delighted. It's delusion. I think if you really want to cry. Then it would be better to do so when someone born. Cry at the root, for if there were no birth, there would be no death. Can you understand this?
** {{w|Ajahn Chah}}, [https://www.ajahnchah.org/pdf/no_ajahn_chah.pdf ''No Ajahn Chah: Reflections''], 1994

* Buddhism – the ultimate attempt to put an end to birth. This is what nirvana is. &quot;There will be no more birth&quot;, would say the angel of the Buddhist Apocalypse.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Cahiers 1957-1972'', 1997

* A young monk had fallen deeply in love with a beautiful damsel. He abandoned the temple in which he lived and went to the village with the intention of declaring his love to her. Since it was already dark by the time he arrived, he checked in an inn and went to rest. That night he dreamt he had married her. He entered her chamber, made love to her... after some time they had twins. When they were thirteen years old, one of them fell into the river and drowned. The father, seized by grief, endlessly cried... and that's how he woke up, filled with tears. By morning, he retraced his steps, and headed back once more to his temple.
** [[Taisen Deshimaru]], ''Historias Zen'', 1990

* Nanda, I do not extol the production of a new existence even a little bit; nor do I extol the production of a new existence for even a moment. Why? The production of a new existence is suffering. For example, even a little [bit of ] vomit stinks. In the same way, Nanda, the production of a new existence, even a little bit, even for a moment, is suffering. Therefore, Nanda, whatever comprises birth, [namely] the arising of matter, its subsistence, its growth, and its emergence, the arising, subsistence, growth, and emergence of feeling, conceptualization, conditioning forces, and consciousness, [all that] is suffering. Subsistence is illness. Growth is old age and death. Therefore, Nanda, what contentment is there for one who is in the mother's womb wishing for existence?
**[[Gautama Buddha]], ''Garbhāvakrāntisūtra: The Sūtra on Entry Into the Womb'', the oldest version of the sutra that survived is a Chinese translation by Dharmarakṣa from 281 or 303

* Cioran is right. A truly honest and responsible man would prefer not to be born.
** Valeriu Butulescu, ''Noroi aurifer'' 

* To give birth to those&lt;br /&gt;Who can but suffer many years, and die,&lt;br /&gt;Methinks is merely propagating death,&lt;br /&gt;And multiplying murder.
** [[Lord Byron]], ''Cain'', 1821
** Description: the words of the character, Cain

==C==

* Given the contingency of our birth, all pain is unnecessary. The unnecessary pain is unbearable. ''Ergo'', having been born is unbearable. In this sense, procreation is immoral. Procreation carries moral weight; it is a problematic action. It is not, as affirmative ethics usually think, a pure fact, innocent and unsuspicious. Affirmative ethics are willing to sustain the immorality of the totality of the world solely and exclusively to save the morality of its origin. Negative ethics suggests the opposite: the rescue of the morality of the world after the discovery of the immorality of its origin (and the very problem of theodicies inverts: how is the innocence of the world compatible with divine evilness?).
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/project-of-negative-ethics/ ''Projeto de Ética Negativa''], 1989, p. 21

* Suffering is something that is, purely and simply, connected to &quot;being.&quot; Something cannot be &quot;put into operation&quot; without pain. Thus, pain is not a curse, nor a punishment, nor an anomaly, nor a maladjustment, nor a deviation, but the ''conditio sine qua non'' of being. Being is a condition of necessary suffering. Affirmative ethics, insofar as they respect the value of coherence, should not proclaim the elimination of pain as their concern.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/project-of-negative-ethics/ ''Projeto de Ética Negativa''], 1989, p. 22

* Diseases usually appear to us as something unexpected, due to the so called &quot;default&quot; state of good health. The difficulty of measuring health is in the fact that the majority of existing indicators are negative, that is, they serve to measure the absence of health. Good health, contrarily, can be seen as an accidental anomaly, not as an intrinsic attribute, and even less, as a &quot;right&quot; of humans. In the face of a disease, what we habitually call &quot;life&quot; is an effort to survive, &quot;to resist,&quot; &quot;to maintain oneself,&quot; &quot;to persist,&quot; &quot;to endure,&quot; &quot;to persevere.&quot; The fundamental ethical issue consists in that, as potential creators of another human being's life, we cannot make predictions about the mechanisms of survival of the possible being, their vulnerability to the structural pain. We have no moral right in making a standardized prediction about this vulnerability. The sinister happiness (sinister and superficial) with which our society welcomes pregnancy and birth, must necessarily confront its own ethical categories, if we are profound in our reflection.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/project-of-negative-ethics/ ''Projeto de Ética Negativa''], 1989, p. 22–23

* Our social organization uncritically ensures the morality of parenthood, and procreation is presented as a naturally positive value. By contrast, any problematization of these values will be seen as demoniac. But the reflective situation is perfectly clear: either we abandon the value of &quot;avoidance of unnecessary pain,&quot; or we problematize the uncritical morality of procreation. If the moral reflection is to be rational, to search for the truth, etc., it has to face this alternative.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/project-of-negative-ethics/ ''Projeto de Ética Negativa''], 1989, p. 28

* If freedom, according to traditional morality itself, is a fundamental ethical value, the very basis of ethics, one must be aware that the creation of a child may be the first huge disrespect of the freedom of the human person. The issue of freedom suffers here from the same problem as the issue of pain: it is a matter of ethical value that the traditional affirmative ethics is unable to radicalize.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/project-of-negative-ethics/ ''Projeto de Ética Negativa''], 1989, p. 28

* Killing someone and giving birth to someone are two violent actions through which, magically, man tries to put himself in God's place. The victim of a homicide is always helpless, but never as helpless as the victim of a birth. Childbirth spills as much innocent blood as a homicide. If procreation is a free choice, then life is fundamentally unnecessary pain.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/project-of-negative-ethics/ ''Projeto de Ética Negativa''], 1989, back cover

* In the light of natural ontology, it is not correct the argument that we do not know anything about our possible offsprings, for example, about the capacity they will have to overcome structural pain; because even we do not know, for example, whether they will enjoy traveling, working or studying classical languages, we do know they will be indigent, decadent, vacating beings who will start dying since birth, who will face and be characterized by systematic dysfunctions, who will have to constitute their own beings as beings-against-the-others – in the sense of dealing with aggressiveness and having to discharge it over others – who will lose those they love and be lost by those who love them, and time will take everything they manage to build.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [http://repositorio.unb.br/bitstream/10482/17430/3/Livro_CritiqueAffirmativeMorality.pdf ''A critique of affirmative morality (A reflection on death, birth and the value of life)''], 1996, p. 54

* We undoubtedly would not morally justify the behavior of someone who sent a colleague to a dangerous situation by saying: &quot;I sent him there because I know he is strong and he will manage well&quot;. The &quot;strengths&quot; of the newborn do not relieve in anything the moral responsibility of the procreator. Anyone would answer: &quot;This is irrelevant. Your role in the matter consisted of sending people to a situation you know was difficult and painful and you could avoid it. Your predictions about their reacting manners do not decrease in anything your responsibility&quot;. In the case of procreation, the reasoning could be the same, and in a notorious emphatic way, since in any intra-worldly situation with already existing people in which we send someone to a position known as painful, the other one could always run away from pain to the extent his being is already in the world and he could predict danger and try to avoid being exposed to a disregarding and manipulative maneuver. In the case of the one who is being born, by contrast, this is not possible at all because it is precisely his very being that is being manufactured and used. Concerning birth, therefore, manipulation seems to be total.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [http://repositorio.unb.br/bitstream/10482/17430/3/Livro_CritiqueAffirmativeMorality.pdf ''A critique of affirmative morality (A reflection on death, birth and the value of life)''], 1996, p. 54–55

* Thus, whoever has said to procreate for love, as others kill for hate, might have said a truth, but, no doubt, this person has not given any moral justification for procreation. Saying you have had a child &quot;for love&quot; is a manner of saying you have had him or her compulsively, according to the wild rhythms of life. In a similar way, we might intensely love our parents and, at the same time, consider fatherhood ethically-rationally problematic, and visualize we have been manipulated by them. I may continue to love after having detected immorality, there is nothing contradictory on that. Neither would morally justify a homicide saying we have done it for hate, nor a suicide saying we have done it &quot;for hate against ourselves&quot;. Something can continue to be ethically problematic even when guided by love.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [http://repositorio.unb.br/bitstream/10482/17430/3/Livro_CritiqueAffirmativeMorality.pdf ''A critique of affirmative morality (A reflection on death, birth and the value of life)''], 1996, p. 59

* People proclaim that &quot;the experience of parenthood is extraordinary&quot; and recommend it to all (and denigrate those who have not gone through it). But we can wonder: &quot;Extraordinary for whom?&quot; It is certainly extraordinary for the parents. When they say that not only they will be happy and satisfied with the experience but also their children, they do not realize the immense asymmetry and mismatch between these two experiences, the experience of creating and of being created. The created child is compelled to accept the experience, to make it good and interesting (and even extraordinary); what other option would they have? This obligation is not present in the parents, where the &quot;extraordinary&quot; nature of the experience is part of an engaging and unilateral project. The situations of both parties are not comparable. Thus, when some reply: &quot;There is no sense in you wanting to show that life is bad; you cannot decide for your child; maybe they will like to live,&quot; what does that mean? Of course, in a sense, they are compelled to like life! But this &quot;liking&quot; will always be a desperate acceptance. The created child is not in a position of really liking life. They could like it if they had really chosen to come into being. Faced with the fait accompli, they are forced to cling desperately to life. Either they &quot;like it&quot; or they will be destroyed (by a mental illness, or by the hostility of others).
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/09/28/first-chapter-of-because-i-love-you-you-will-not-be-born/ ''Porque te amo, não nascerás! Nascituri te salutant''], 2009, pp. 25–26

* Would a genuinely rational agent choose to be born? My argument against R. M. Hare can be reread in the &quot;Critique of Affirmative Morality&quot;. . . . There I suggest that in the experiment where the non-being is magically consulted about their possible birth, Hare is mistaken in assuming uncritically that &quot;they&quot; would undoubtedly choose to be born. (This is the usual affirmative trend.) Let us suppose that we are talking about a human being, that is, a rational creature capable of pondering reasons. The information that is given to this possible being in Hare's experiment is incomplete and biased. We should also tell them that if they are born, they will have no guarantee of being born without problems; that if they manage to be born without problems, they will almost surely suffer from many intra-worldly evils; that if they manage to avoid them (and this is possible in the intra-world, even if difficult), we cannot give them any guarantee about the length of their life nor about the kind of death they will have, and they will also have to suffer the death of those they come to love and their death will be suffered by those who love them (if they are lucky enough to love someone and to be loved by someone, which is also not guaranteed). They must be told that if they manage to avoid a violent accidental death, they will decay in a few years (just as the people they love and care about), and that they have a high chance of becoming a terminally ill patient who could suffer terribly until the time of their demise. If it is still possible for the non-being, after having assimilated all this information, to choose to be born, could we not harbor well-founded doubts about their quality as a &quot;rational agent&quot;?
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/09/28/first-chapter-of-because-i-love-you-you-will-not-be-born/ ''Porque te amo, não nascerás! Nascituri te salutant''], 2009, pp. 70–71

* Philosophers have always spoken of life as a &quot;preparation for death,&quot; and of philosophy as a &quot;learning to die.&quot; But there is a wisdom prior to that: learning to abstain; not putting anyone in the situation of having to learn to die. 
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/09/28/first-chapter-of-because-i-love-you-you-will-not-be-born/ ''Porque te amo, não nascerás! Nascituri te salutant''], 2009, p. 79

* MV says that the rejection of life appears in later states, but that at the time of birth, and already before, everything is acceptance of life. But, is this so?? What can be said of the outcry with which children are born, of the primordial cry, of the first traumatic contact (studied by Freud) with the world? Is the child's outcry not already his first philosophical opinion about the world? Why is he not born laughing, or at least calm? When the baby is dumped into the world at the time of childbirth, his first reaction is pessimistic, a protest against disregard and disturbance, an initial outcry that he did not have to learn, as he will have to learn to laugh in the first few weeks or even months of life (which already marks, in the very inaugural act of being, the pessimistic asymmetry: the baby learns to laugh, but is born crying); the baby is born, forced by the desires of others, in an initial desperation, in a cry of deep and abysmal helplessness, in a primordial terror that, immediately, through movements, caresses, comforts, etc., adults will try to soften; movements that will be repeated throughout his life: initial despair followed by protective comforts; but the comforts are posterior to the despair; the despair comes first, and the comforts are the reactions. They are not on the same level. Asymmetry!
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2018/04/29/about-the-intellectual-and-existential-superiority-of-pessimism-over-optimism-reply-to-marcus-valerio/ ''Acerca da superioridade intelectual e existencial do pessimismo sobre o otimismo (replica a Marcus Valério)''], 2010, pp. 24–25

* The parent knows perfectly well that they are giving a product of dubious quality only for their own accomplishment and happiness; in admitting that the person may want to return it, they themselves fully understand the dubious nature of the gift. 
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2018/04/29/about-the-intellectual-and-existential-superiority-of-pessimism-over-optimism-reply-to-marcus-valerio/ ''Acerca da superioridade intelectual e existencial do pessimismo sobre o otimismo (replica a Marcus Valério)''], 2010, p. 28
** Description: about procreation and suicide.

* Regretting having to die should be structurally identical to regretting being born, because it is not in our power being born in a non-mortal way.  
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [http://philosopherjuliocabrera.blogspot.com/2011/05/negative-ethics.html ''Between two deaths: from born death to dead death''], 2011 

* The best would have been not to be born. Not being born is, in a negative ethics, the absolute good; but it is, precisely, the good that cannot be sought. (Attention: the situation is more radical than in the case of goods that can be sought but never achieved; not being born cannot even be sought).
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8lRhEwzaxOlckVlNG1RVjNPdHc/view ''Summary of the ethical question in Julio Cabrera's Philosophy''], 2014, p. 8

* People talk about the &quot;wonderful experience of parenthood&quot;. Have you ever wondered why it is so wonderful? It may be wonderful because it is very manipulative; manipulating gives a lot of pleasure, because you have a person in your hands. When the child is small you wear it as you want, comb as you want, cut the hair, put on the table, as I have frequently seen it. The adults play with the child, people who would have no subject of conversation or interaction, when their empty, insignificant gray lives would come to light, the child saves them.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6DiB3OtFu4 ''Birth as a bioethical problem: first steps towards a radical bioethics''], 2018, 44:38–45:22 min.

* The moral tradition says: we have many natural tendencies, but as ethical human beings we have to try to overcome natural impulses. For example, we are naturally violent; human beings are naturally very selfish, trying to focus their decisions on themselves, but ethics is always saying: you have to fight against these natural tendencies. You cannot be all the violent that nature commands, you cannot be everything selfish that nature asks for. So if you tell me that procreation is natural, being natural does not show it to be moral. On the contrary, forgotten Brazilian philosophers like Tobias Barreto put exactly the opposite. Tobias Barreto thought that when something is natural it is bad, and we have to fight it. (The enslavement of one people over others is natural, but it is cultural that slavery must not exist.) So do not tell me that procreation is natural and so we have to do it. All human morality is unnatural; all human morality is artificial, just as our feeding systems in our sophisticated restaurants are also artificial and unnatural. What is the animal that eats the way we eat? Even our sexuality is artificial; it is not purely instinctual, but largely symbolic. If you had that argument in your sleeve, you would still have to show that what comes from nature is moral, because there are many arguments showing that what comes from nature can be opposite of morality.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6DiB3OtFu4 ''Birth as a bioethical problem: first steps towards a radical bioethics''], 2018, 47:49–49:30 min.

* Of course, the possibility of the newborn not having the strength to endure the life struggle is just a possibility, not a necessity. However, the point is that its mere possibility is enough for moral imputation. There are no strong causal relations between methods of education and raising of children to shape their destinies in life. As they say, a child is &quot;a lottery&quot;. The precautions that progenitors take to avoid certain risks for their children could be precisely the ones that expose them to greater danger. The many human lives that end catastrophically seem to illustrate the very high price to be paid in an attempt to ethically justify the &quot;gamble&quot; of procreation, even if made in the most serious way by the sensitive procreator. However, it is important that even when none of these catastrophes occurs, the success of the newborn in life does not exempt the progenitors from the moral responsibility of having put him at risk of falling victim to one of these calamities. Moreover, even for the child who has &quot;won&quot; the gamble, his &quot;success&quot; will remain forever and indefinitely connected to the unilateral nature of the procreative act. The gamble will have been won, but this will never be the child's own bet. The newborn may get lucky and &quot;win the gamble&quot;, but he was never in a position to refuse to enter into the competition.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Discomfort and Moral Impediment: The Human Situation, Radical Bioethics and Procreation'', 2018, p. 151

* All of the inescapable and tyrannical bodily necessities are already presented to the baby in the form of new cries and sufferings. Progenitors will become increasingly conscious of this and they will keep saying: “He’s crying; maybe he’s hungry”; “He’s crying; maybe he's cold”; “He’s crying; maybe he’s tired”, without ever arriving at the ominous “He’s crying because he was born”.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Discomfort and Moral Impediment: The Human Situation, Radical Bioethics and Procreation'', 2018, pp. 162-163

* Small children continue crying for many years; they cry and cry. This is a very usual spectacle that we constantly observe in the streets, children crying incessantly, most of the time met with a wall of indifference from adults, or else with laughter or impatience. Crying children often bother us, but we have to make a philosophical effort to understand that, from an ethical point of view, they are perfectly right, they have the right to cry. Moved by their tears, we have to accept their vindication, even if cries are strident and bothersome; we must learn to see children’s crying as ethical responses or instinctive political facts, as a perfectly fair and understandable reaction to what was done to them. Children’s tears must provoke our most profound respect, because they come from the depths of their structural helplessness, of their being made by force.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Discomfort and Moral Impediment: The Human Situation, Radical Bioethics and Procreation'', 2018, p. 163

* Some children go on crying until they are quite old, later finding other forms of protest. A small child is a hive of explosive and irresistible needs, aspirations and desires. There is nothing a child says more than: “I want, I want, I want”. Children are constantly torn by desires they are now forced to manage in order to endure the life that was asymmetrically imposed on them, and to which they are compelled to live. The progenitors will deny their children most of what their offspring believe they must have, by telling them that the world does not revolve around their wants, ironically as these same parents endowed their children with bodies full of insatiable desires. Children constantly fall prey to their desires, especially under the multiple forms of painful expectations, discouragements and boredom, which require their parents to shield their offspring from the mortal danger of the being given at birth. This is, of course, the role of toys and of the entire paraphernalia of objects that parents are now compelled to put between their small children and the terminal being they have imposed on them. In the streets and in shopping malls, we see small children crying loudly, asking for this or that, being dragged away by irritated, placid or excessively attentive parents, or indifferent ones, who have neither the sensibility nor the patience to attend to their children’s complaints, unhearing and absentminded, as if the small ones’ demands were irrelevant and did not deserve attention. One may say that a few minutes later the child will be smiling or laughing again; but note that this happens just for a while when he finds some type of distraction, something that diverts his attention for a short period of time.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Discomfort and Moral Impediment: The Human Situation, Radical Bioethics and Procreation'', 2018, p. 163

* When someone (including philosophers) defends the alleged beauty of &quot;having children&quot;, they refer to the pleasure of &quot;seeing them grow up&quot;: first as children, then adolescents, then graduated and independent adults (this happens not only in wealthy classes but also, in part, in more modest ones). However, it is strange that, when they speak about children, they inexplicably stop at this point and never refer to their decline, their aging, or their decay; perhaps because they think they will not be there to contemplate this decline. The parents prefer not to see the end of this process, as if the child vanished into thin air. The residual aspect of parenthood is omitted; only the flourishing aspects of the child are visualized. The death of the child-residue is denied any visibility. The consummation of the processes is concealed as something dirty and indecent, not worthy to be shown.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Mal-Estar e Moralidade: Situação Humana, Ética e Procriação Responsável'', 2018, p. 306

* It is very curious that it is sometimes considered cruel or inhumane to raise the issue of the ethics of procreation, as if this showed a rejection of the unborn children, a kind of hatred for their lives. This is a total deformation of the intentions of an ethical reflection on procreation. On the contrary, this reflection is motivated by a deep concern for the possible children, due to the risk of their emergence being the consequence of a thoughtless, constraining and aggressive act towards small defenseless beings, on whom one thinks to have full right to plan everything about their lives to our full desire and satisfaction. A great part of the revolt that awakens in the adult world due to the simple mention of this issue indicates that the parents obtain a great pleasure in the procreative act, and react – sometimes angrily – against those who question this powerful source of pleasure, and consequently the immense power over the one who is going to be born. This total power over another life is intensely seductive and no one wants to give it up. But in the ethical reflection, whatever the subject matter is, it is never an issue of evaluating only the satisfaction we get from our actions, but of pondering whether what we do is right or not, whether the power we can accumulate over more defenseless beings is or is not ethically justified.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Mal-Estar e Moralidade: Situação Humana, Ética e Procriação Responsável'', 2018, p. 463

* What is most curious is that humans of poorer classes are usually the ones who cultivate an unlimited adoration for their mother for having raised them with so many sacrifices. They suffer all kinds of misery, extreme poverty, disease, delinquency, discrimination, exclusion and torture, never realizing that it was their parents who put them in that situation for their own pleasure or due to irresponsible carelessness. And when the child commits some harmful act driven by the despair in which they were placed, people still sympathize with the &quot;poor mother&quot; for having a child that is &quot;so ungrateful&quot;. All inherited misery magically becomes the child's responsibility! The same argumentative scheme which is applied here, is also applied in the theodicies: the impeccable Parent created their child out of love, gave them something very valuable, and also made them &quot;free&quot;, while the child, being free, sinned, thus behaved wrongly and defiled this very valuable thing which was given to them, causing dissatisfaction for their unfortunate parent. It is an almost tragicomic scheme, because it is the exact opposite that seems to be true: our parents gave us, for their own pleasure and benefit, something of very dubious value which we, as a result of subjection and necessity – that is, very far from any real &quot;freedom&quot; – have to try to improve with a lot of our effort. As long as we do not reverse this prevailing valuation in our societies, ethical issues cannot even begin to be seriously considered, because the mother's viscerally egocentric and manipulative relationship with their children will continue to be regarded as a paradigm of ethical morality, which seems, at least, to be a crucial error of appreciation, a very serious mythology, a colossal mystification.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Mal-estar e Moralidade: Situação humana, Ética e Procriação Responsável'', 2018, pp. 538-539

* The &quot;eternal gratitude&quot; is present not only in the early stages of life, but throughout children's long dependence upon their parents during the first ten years of life — in which they are even objects of exhibition — and in the harsh period of adolescence, in which children are endlessly treated as &quot;ungrateful&quot;, as if they were never able to repay their immense debt; everything that is bought for them, for their future, their studies, all those things that the child never asked for, which are part of an affective and economic investment of the parents, is endlessly and for long and hard years, presented as proof of sacrifice and love, as an object of eternal gratitude, never fully repaid by the ungrateful children. The position of parenthood constitutes a powerful mechanism of domination in which even the physical violence of punishments and beatings is justified in favor of the never-requested raising of that being who was thrown into the world, with parents trying to build protections so that their child is not destroyed by the immense gift they just received.
** [[Julio Cabrera]], ''Mal-estar e Moralidade: Situação Humana, Ética e Procriação Responsável'', 2018, pp. 539-540

* Man's greatest crime on earth is the fatal fact of birth.
** [[Pedro Calderón de la Barca]], ''La vida es sueño'', 1635

* Non-living matter, being purely objective, is oblivious to the subjective phenomena that torment living creatures, that is, free from any and all suffering, in a state of perfect serenity. It does not makes sense to try to be &quot;mean&quot; with inanimate matter. There is no way to torture rocks by throwing them off cliffs, hammering them, etc. There is only one way to make matter suffer: by transforming it into a living being. It follows that, even from an objective point of view, we can find moral implications in reproduction, since it condemns matter to suffer needlessly in the form of a living being driven by afflictions and needs, only to later return to the same situation in which it initially found itself, without any meaning or benefit to it. From this perspective, we do not claim that reproduction is wrong, only that it is cruel. We affirm that, objectively, to live is to suffer. However, we do not draw subjective conclusions from this. Whether or not it is worth living is a different and subjective question, which refers to the value we attach to life. The immorality lies in the fact that the value of life is an issue that can only be considered by those who are already alive. When we reproduce, we impose our personal conclusions on someone who cannot even defend himself. Naturally, it is not a transcendental and absolute morality, but one relative to life. It can be understood as objective in the sense of referring to something that necessarily occurs, due to the very nature of life, due to the conditions imposed on subjective existence when inserted in the determinations of the objective world. Therefore, let us not confuse this observation with moral preaching about right and wrong, right and duty, etc. We are only concerned with objectively describing the physical consequences of the equally physical phenomenon of bringing into existence a new consciousness that will be haunted by the restlessness that moves life.
** André Cancian, ''[https://www.academia.edu/41872748/O_Vazio_da_M%C3%A1quina_-_Niilismo_e_outros_abismos O Vazio da Máquina: Niilismo e outros abismos]'', 2009, pp. 289-290 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-8590555827}}&lt;/small&gt;

* In this perspective, reproduction makes us the only ones responsible for creating suffering in the world. Without us, there would be no pain. But there is, and it's our fault. Objectively, pain is not a bad thing, but it is subjectively. We, as living beings, have pain as the supreme reference point for everything that is undesirable. Our objective, biological nature imposes this condition on us. Just as pleasure is good, pain is bad - whether physical, emotional or psychological. Let the relativists stand up, with their crazy theories about the “arbitrariness” of the issue: we would like to see them believe this while we insert spikes under their nails. The presence of pain as something positively undesirable is an essential requirement for life to be sustainable, it is a condition imposed objectively on the survival machines that we are. Pain makes us efficient organisms, and without it we would not function properly, we would just die painlessly for ignoring the dangers that surround us. This means that when we make all the pain that exists on earth appear out of nothingness, when we put matter in the only condition in which it can suffer, that is, when we transform it into a living being, we become positively evil, responsible for the dissemination of suffering. Thus, intentional reproduction makes us perverse and immoral beings, and this in a purely objective sense, because it is a universally valid judgment, whatever the circumstances in which we find ourselves. As long as there is pain in existence, as long as life involves suffering, the act of reproducing means collaborating with its growth, perpetuating this misfortune, actively endeavoring to make the world a more painful and pitiful place.
** André Cancian, ''[https://www.academia.edu/41872748/O_Vazio_da_M%C3%A1quina_-_Niilismo_e_outros_abismos O Vazio da Máquina: Niilismo e outros abismos]'', 2009, p. 290 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-8590555827}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Obviously, we have the freedom to be as evil and selfish as we want, but we cannot deny that we are guilty of being so; there is no way to be innocent of this accusation. Originally, that life did not exist, never existed, and would have remained non-existent, if only we did not have the admirable idea of ​​ejaculating in a womb and making it appear out of nothingness to then claim that their suffering &quot;is not our problem&quot;, that we are not responsible because it is “natural”. Now, even a theologian could not take such a lame excuse seriously. The objection that procreation does not necessarily make us evil because suffering occurs in life in a natural and inevitable way is not justified because, although we cannot change life's intimate constitution, we have the choice to reproduce or not. He who is born, on the contrary, cannot choose whether to come into the world or not, just as we had no choice regarding our own birth. We may or may not have children. However, when we decide to have them, this choice makes us positively evil, gratuitously cruel. We, as an insomnia of matter, harm that which sleeps deeply only to share our lack of sleep, to feel less bored with our embarrassingly futile existences.
** André Cancian, ''[https://www.academia.edu/41872748/O_Vazio_da_M%C3%A1quina_-_Niilismo_e_outros_abismos O Vazio da Máquina: Niilismo e outros abismos]'', 2009, pp. 290-291 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-8590555827}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Undoubtedly, the reproductive drive has deep biological roots, but this does not free us from guilt either. Of course, it was not us who invented life and its rules, but it was us who propagated it. We intentionally created a life in circumstances where we ''knew'' that suffering would be unavoidable. The impulse of aggression often leads us to commit crimes, but we do not fail to consider it reprehensible. It is something equally instinctive and natural, rooted in us as deeply as the sexual impulse. The difference is that, in the case of procreation, our aggression will materialize nine months later, as if planting a time bomb in the heart of nothingness.
** André Cancian, ''[https://www.academia.edu/41872748/O_Vazio_da_M%C3%A1quina_-_Niilismo_e_outros_abismos O Vazio da Máquina: Niilismo e outros abismos]'', 2009, p. 291 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-8590555827}}&lt;/small&gt;

* The situation we have is basically the following: an individual deliberately inflicts great physical, emotional and psychological suffering on someone else in the hope of diminishing his own, and the victim will never be able to defend himself from such aggression, except through suicide. Logically, the pain will not be caused directly by us, but by the circumstances in which we place the individual. However, this could have been avoided with any cheap condom. To cause great pain to an innocent person, just to achieve a small reduction of our own, is a vile and revolting act. We could, without a doubt, feel entitled to demand reparation for such injustice, for having been placed in this unworthy and degrading situation. It would make sense to receive compensation for the inconvenience of being born, but this is something that, as was said, nature has already wisely provided in the form of an instinct to protect the offspring. Parental love is the indemnity that children receive from their parents for having placed them in the world.
** André Cancian, ''[https://www.academia.edu/41872748/O_Vazio_da_M%C3%A1quina_-_Niilismo_e_outros_abismos O Vazio da Máquina: Niilismo e outros abismos]'', 2009, pp. 291-292 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-8590555827}}&lt;/small&gt;

* When we give up on having children, we give up a small and dubious personal satisfaction to prevent the emergence of great suffering. If we can exercise a minimum of compassion for what, according to ourselves, will be the sole object of our love and dedication, we will see that, by not reproducing, we will be putting into practice the only possible kindness toward our children. Let us be comforted to know that, because they were not born, in our dreams they will always be sleeping in their rooms, under blankets as soft as the embrace of the one whose love would never allow them to suffer, and thereby protected them from existence. They remain comfortable, serene, in peace, with a half-smile on their lips for never having tasted the bitterness and disappointment of life. They will always remain pure, eternally free from the dangers of the world. This is the true meaning of giving up one's life in favor of one's children.
** André Cancian, ''[https://www.academia.edu/41872748/O_Vazio_da_M%C3%A1quina_-_Niilismo_e_outros_abismos O Vazio da Máquina: Niilismo e outros abismos]'', 2009, p. 294 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-8590555827}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Very good and deep is the thought: &quot;Nobody would accept life as a gift if they could decide.&quot; Seneca was the one who said it and I am in agreement with him. Imagine a preexistent soul, in all its tranquility, which is informed of what the life of man entails and the evils to which they are subject – it would refuse to enter a body.
** [[Giacomo Casanova]], ''Dialogues sur le suicide'', 1782

* Satan, unable by his very nature to take possession of a spiritual element enclosed in the body, can at most delay its release from the body. This process of delaying is done by procreation: &quot;All flesh comes out of copulation. That is why it is impure.&quot;
** {{w|Jean Duvernoy}}, ''La religion des cathares'', 1976

* &quot;The fruit forbidden to our forefathers was nothing but the pleasures of a carnal intercourse, and Adam gave this fruit to his wife.&quot; In fact, &quot;it is not because of a good God that flowers bloom and cereal produces seeds, and people and animals multiply, but this is because of an evil god.&quot;
** {{w|Jean Duvernoy}}, ''La religion des cathares'', 1976

* It is understandable that the birth of a child chained a new soul to the earth and perpetuated the rule of Satan. The Perfect One sighs: &quot;May God grant that there will be no more children, that all souls will be saved and that the reign of Evil will be overthrown.&quot;
** {{w|René Nelli}}, ''La Vie quotidienne des Cathares du Languedoc au xiiie siècle'', 1979

* Regarding sexual intercourse, their position was that any form of intercourse was acceptable (and, according to some, celebrated), so long as it did not result in procreation.
** {{w|John M. Riddle}}, ''Contraception and Abortion from the Ancient World to the Renaissance'', 1994
** Description: about cathars.

* Cathars believed the whole of humanity, and each man individually, is the children of Satan. Why, then, serve their reproduction, if not for the duplication of suffering, and the triumph of Satan?
** Katarzyna Skrzypiec, [http://www.mowiawieki.pl/index.php?page=artykul&amp;id=136 ''Sekretna wieczerza, czyli o heretykach budzących sympatię''], 2009

* The Cathar troubadours with an unknown then refinement loved beautiful French and Italian women. At the same time, they were unequaled promoters of the idea of &quot;pure&quot; love, i.e. love that does not lead to pregnancy. The Cathars thought that the devil had &quot;equipped children of this world with the seed&quot;; they identified the conception with the spawn of satan, they were cursing pregnant women.
** {{w|Roman Tokarczyk}}, ''Prawa narodzin, życia i śmierci'', 2012

* As long as they have the wish to kill, they will not lose the lust to procreate.
** [[Guido Ceronetti]], ''The Silence of the Body: Materials for the Study of Medicine'', 1979

* Man dares to allow himself to be cruel, when he's already committed, tranquilly and repeatedly, the crudest act of all: engendering, condemning beings that do not exist or suffer to the horrors of life.
** [[Guido Ceronetti]], ''The Silence of the Body: Materials for the Study of Medicine'', 1979

* The immorality of procreation praised as conscious is this: here the crime of making a man, to introduce more evil and pain in the world is not made unconsciously in ecstasy and drama in the darkness of copulation, but is coolly premeditated, people then are no longer cautious and repeat the act until they reach the goal. But there is something even worse: artificial procreation, semen ice, where without the manipulator and the belly person horrified by what they do, lacks even the delight that is some extenuating circumstance.
** [[Guido Ceronetti]], ''The Silence of the Body: Materials for the Study of Medicine'', 1979

* Oh, the suppliers of live meat to furnaces of pain!
** [[Guido Ceronetti]], ''La carta e stanca: Una scelta'', 2000

* The unforgivable betrayal of philosophy: procreation.
**[[Guido Ceronetti]], ''L'occhio del barbagianni'', 2014

* Unfortunately for mankind—and perhaps fortunately for tyrants—the poor and downtrodden lack the instinct or pride of the elephant, who refuses to breed in captivity.
** [[Nicolas Chamfort]], ''Maximes et Pensées'', #509

* After the misfortune of being born, I do not know any greater than giving birth.
** [[François-René de Chateaubriand]], [https://fr.wikisource.org/wiki/M%C3%A9moires_d%E2%80%99outre-tombe ''Mémoires d'outre-tombe''], 1849

* We should do what we can to minimize the suffering of those animals already in existence, but we should also consider ending the breeding of captive animals. This will ensure that fewer suffering sentient beings are created, thus decreasing the overall amount of suffering. 
** Sayma H. Chowdhury, Todd K. Shackelford, ''To Breed, or Not to Breed?: An Antinatalist Answer to the Question of Animal Welfare'', 2017

* Best by far not to be born, and not to come up against these rocks of life, but, if you are born, is it next best to escape as it were from fire of fortune as quickly as possible.
** [[Marcus Tullius Cicero]], ''Consolation'', 45 BC

* Is it possible that existence is our exile and nothingness our home? 
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Pe culmile disperării'', 1934

* What sin have you committed to be born, what crime to exist?
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''A Short History of Decay'', 1949

* To procreate is to love the scourge – to seek to maintain and to augment it. They were right, those ancient philosophers who identified fire with the principle of the universe, and with desire, for desire burns, devours: annihilates: At once agent and destroyer of beings, it is somber, it is infernal by essence.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The New Gods'', 1969

* Nothing is a better proof of how far humanity has regressed than the impossibility of finding a single nation, a single tribe, among whom birth still provokes mourning and lamentations.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* If attachment is an evil, we must look for its cause in the scandal of birth, for to be born is to be attached. Detachment then should apply itself to getting rid of the traces of this scandal, the most serious and intolerable of all.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* Everything is wonderfully clear if we admit that birth is a disastrous or at least an inopportune event; but if we think otherwise, we must resign ourselves to the unintelligible, or else cheat like everyone else.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* If it is true that by death we once more become what we were before being, would it not have been better to abide by that pure possibility, not to stir from it? What use was this detour, when we might have remained forever in an unrealized plenitude?
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* I was alone in that cemetery overlooking the village when a pregnant woman came in. I left at once, in order not to look at this corpse-bearer at close range, nor to ruminate upon the contrast between an aggressive womb and the time-worn tombs-between a false promise and the end of all promises.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* That faint light in each of us which dates back to before our birth, to before all births, is what must be protected if we want to rejoin that remote glory from which we shall never know why we were separated.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* When every man has realized that his birth is a defeat, existence, endurable at last, will seem like the day after a surrender, like the relief and the repose of the conquered.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* Not to be born is undoubtedly the best plan of all. Unfortunately it is within no one's reach.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''The Trouble With Being Born'', 1973

* I have said more than once that one can have a post-sexual vision of the world, the most desperate vision that is possible: the feeling of having invested everything in something that was not worth it. The extraordinary thing is that we are dealing with a reversible infinity. Sexuality is an immense imposture, a gigantic falsehood that invariably renews itself. 
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Entretiens'', 1995

* The only reason why I flatter myself, is that I understood very early, before the age of twenty, that one should not procreate. My disgust towards marriage, family and all social conventions has its source in this. Crime is to transmit one's frailties to someone else, to force someone to experience the same things we are experiencing, to force someone to the Way of the Cross that may be worse than our own. I could never agree to give life to someone who inherits misfortunes and evil. All parents are irresponsible people, or murderers. Procreation should belong only to beasts. Pity makes you not want to be a &quot;progenitor&quot;. This is the cruelest word I know of.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Cahiers 1957-1972'', 1997

* Once again, I want to pray, cry. dissolve, be nothing, return to the initial zero from before birth.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Cahiers 1957-1972'', 1997

* With what I know, with what I feel, I could not give life to someone without falling into a total contradiction with myself, without being intellectually dishonest and without committing a moral crime. It is interesting that this attitude in me is really old, as I'd had it before crystallizing my thoughts on this subject. I started feeling disgust towards procreation very early; it was an answer to my horror; not only: to the horror of life and the thirst for it. I never accepted sex other than for pleasure. Its proper function always created in me an insurmountable aversion. I would never voluntarily agree to take responsibility for life.
**[[Emil Cioran]], ''Cahiers 1957-1972'', 1997

* The problem of responsibility would make sense only if we were asked for an opinion before our birth and if we agreed to be the ones we are.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Cahiers 1957-1972'', 1997

* It is the stroke of midnight. I feel lonely in the face of despair stronger than me. And again I take refuge in the time before I was born.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Cahiers 1957-1972'', 1997

* I do not hate life or desire death, I only regret being born. I prefer non-birth from life and death. The bliss of non-birth. The longer I live, the more willingly I give myself to the joy of non-birth.
** [[Emil Cioran]], ''Cahiers 1957-1972'', 1997

* In her novel The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas, Ursula K. le Guin describes a city where the good fortune of the citizens requires that an innocent child is tortured in a secret place (le Guin 1973). The child stands symbolically for the innocence of extreme suﬀerers. The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas are the people who deny the world. We will associate them with Buddhist monks in this paper, i.e., with childlessness and retreat. The metaphor suggests that individual happiness is ambivalent. The joy of the majority is at the cost of a suﬀering minority; one is not possible without the other. There is no doubt that the human suﬀering in this world is caused by procreation, but the relation is indirect. Parents participate in an immensely complex system of interactions and probabilities. Often a contingent event decides who becomes a victim. As a consequence, participants deny the responsibility for the results of the system – a phenomenon which is also known in the context of structural violence (Galtung 1969). If the human race were a sympathetic race, it could walk away from Omelas.
** Bruno Contestabile, [http://www.socrethics.com/Folder2/WorldDenial.htm ''The Denial of the World from an Impartial View''], 2016

* Things change in an instant. Two things, however, are certain. Everyone will suffer. And everyone will die. Back to where we came from. Knowing this, and understanding full well that any particular life embodies the potential for experiencing extreme pain and unhappiness unceasing in some cases is procreation really worth the risk?
** Jim Crawford, ''Confessions of an Antinatalist'', 2010

* If a child, for whose existence I was responsible, were to ask me why he or she were here, what happens after death, whether I could guarantee he or she would not suffer a fate like that [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Junko_Furuta Furuta Junko] suffered in 1988/89 (please look it up, as there's no room to describe it), what would I say? To me, the fact I have no answers that would not be guesswork, evasion or dogma indicates that having children is selfish and cruel.
**{{w|Quentin S. Crisp}}, [http://www.litfmag.com/issue-2/antinatalism-a-thought-experiment/ ''Antinatalism: A Thought Experiment''], 2014

* Murder is the curtailing of a life that would have ended anyway; having a child creates a death that would never have been.
** {{w|Quentin S. Crisp}}, [http://www.litfmag.com/issue-2/antinatalism-a-thought-experiment/ ''Antinatalism: A Thought Experiment''], 2014

* Whoever trusts us will remain single; those who do not trust us will rear children. And if the race of men should cease to exist there would be as much cause for regret as there would be if the flies and wasps should pass away.
** Unknown, ''Cynic epistles, 47th Letter''
** Description: a sentence from a collection of letters expounding the principles and practices of cynic philosophy (wrongly attributed to Diogenes).

==D==

* This great senseless, wasteful, cruel spawning of life upon the earth! I see not only its pain, but its pleasures, and its joys annoy me more than its sorrows, for I don't want to lose them.
** [[Clarence Darrow]], [https://ia802606.us.archive.org/15/items/islifeworthlivin910star/islifeworthlivin910star_jpg.pdf ''Is Life Worth Living?''], 1925

* Nature knows nothing about right and wrong, good and evil, pleasure and pain; she simply acts. She creates a beautiful woman, and places a cancer on her cheek. She may create an idealist, and kill him with a germ. She creates a fine mind, and then burdens it with a deformed body. And she will create a fine body, apparently for no use whatever. She may destroy the most wonderful life when its work has just commenced. She may scatter tubercular germs broadcast throughout the world. She seemingly works with no method, plan or purpose. She knows no mercy nor goodness. Nothing is so cruel and abandoned as Nature. To call her tender or charitable is a travesty upon words and a stultification of intellect. No one can suggest these obvious facts without being told that he is not competent to judge Nature and the God behind Nature. If we must not judge God as evil, then we cannot judge God as good. In all the other affairs of life, man never hesitates to classify and judge, but when it comes to passing on life, and the responsibility of life, he is told that it must be good, although the opinion beggars reason and intelligence and is a denial of both. Emotionally, I shall no doubt act as others do to the last moment of my existence. With my last breath I shall probably try to draw another, but, intellectually, I am satisfied that life is a serious burden, which no thinking, humane person would wantonly inflict on some one else.
** [[Clarence Darrow]], [http://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks05/0500951h.html ''The Story of My Life''], 1932

* To spare you all that I have seen,&lt;br /&gt;The losses I have sustained,&lt;br /&gt;I withstood the human impulse within.
** Sa'd Darweesh, ''I've committed no such crime!: A Conversation with My Unborn Son'', ''Fathers and sons in the Arab Middle East'', 2013

* There is no need here to detail again his thoughts on the futility of procreation and mankind's strange urge to reproduce. The child's constant wailing, however, moves him to infer that he (or she, as the case may be) is sickly and weak, and to remark with bitter irony, &quot;The first present he received from his loving parents is weakness and ill-health.&quot;
** Jutta E. Knorzer, ''Ali Dashti's Prison Days: Life Under Reza Shah'', 1994
** Desciription: about Ali Dashti.

* Celebrating a birthday is nothing but celebration because of a sinister farce that our parents arranged for us by bringing us to the world.
** {{w|Alexandra David-Néel}}, ''La Lampe de sagesse'', 1986

* No, I would not like it if there was no end, it is literally something we can influence: a peaceful end to humanity. Let no one – this is the first thing I wish – become a parent anymore. It does not hurt the unborn, and saves them a lot of trouble.
** [[Karlheinz Deschner]], ''Frommer Wunsch. Für ein friedliches Ende der Menschheit'', in: Peter Roos and Friederike Hassauer, ''Kinderwunsch. Reden und Gegenreden'', 1991

* In fact, what right did this Nature have to bring me into the world as a result of some eternal law of hers? I was created with consciousness, and I was conscious of this Nature: what right did she have to produce me, a conscious being, without my willing it? A conscious being, and thus a suﬀering one; but I do not want to suﬀer, for why would I have agreed to that? . . . And finally, even if one were to admit the possibility of this fairy tale of a human society at long last organized on earth on rational and scientifc bases; if one were to believe in this, to believe in the future happiness of people at long last, then the mere thought that some implacable laws of Nature made it essential to torment the human race for a thousand years before allowing it to attain that happiness that thought alone is unbearably loathsome. Now add the fact that this very same Nature, which has permitted humanity at last to attain happiness, tomorrow will find it necessary for some reason to reduce it all to zero, despite the suffering with which humanity has paid for this happiness; and, more important, that Nature does all this without concealing anything from me and my consciousness as she hid things from the cow. In such a case one cannot help but come to the very amusing yet unbearably sad thought: &quot;What if the human race has been placed on the earth as some sort of brazen experiment, simply in order to find out whether such creatures are going to survive here or not?&quot; The sad part of this thought lies mainly in the fact that once again no one is to blame; no one conducted the experiment; there is no one we can curse; it all happened simply due to the dead laws of Nature, which I absolutely cannot comprehend and with which my consciousness is utterly unable to agree.
** [[Fyodor Dostoevsky]], ''A Writer's Diary, vol 1, The Sentence'', 1876
** Description: written from the perspective of a materialist and signed N.N.

* Feminism must be equipped with fire and brilliance. It's the holiest ideal of this time. That the noble natural rights of women have been discovered so late shows a dreadful spotlight on the history of so-called human development. There may appear to be something weird in feminism for the uninitiated, but as soon as we reach that point, philosophy will raise its aristocratic head and say to us: &quot;The new doctrines involves the priesthood of only women, it proves the truth of pessimism and the necessity of worldwide misery in the current system, but not that of an endless continuation of existence.&quot; Then, according to the women's higher mission, women will recognize themselves as superior beings, as the priestesses of their race, as natural nobility. Aware of the higher law of life, at that same time, under their perception of the higher law of life, women will become fully aware of their higher purpose, to appear as the leaders towards death, preparing the end of the end. This then becomes the ideal, and take the place of any ideal without end or goal!
** {{w|Helene von Druskowitz}}, [https://de.wikisource.org/wiki/Pessimistische_Kardinals%C3%A4tze ''Pessimistische Kardinalsätze: Ein Vademekum für die freiesten Geister''], 1905

==E==

* So I returned, and considered all the oppressions that are done under the sun: and behold the tears of &quot;such as were&quot; oppressed, and they had no comforter; and on the side of their oppressors &quot;there was&quot; power; but they had no comforter. Wherefore I praised the dead which are already dead more than the living which are yet alive. Yea, better &quot;is he&quot; than both they, which hath not yet been, who hath not seen the evil work that is done under the sun.
** [[Ecclesiastes]], [https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ecclesiastes+4&amp;version=KJV ''Ecclesiastes 4:1-3, King James Version of the Bible, 1611'']

* Other groups, like the Encratites, saw procreation as the diabolically inspired evil that perpetuates our imprisonment within these mortal coils. They argued that total purity would disentangle trapped souls, reuniting them with the light.
** Jo Ann McNamara, ''A New Song: Celibate Women in the First Three Christian Centuries'', 1985

* Jung: &quot;Somewhere on earth certainly still are people who do not accept this suicide law of extinction.&quot; Cassius: &quot;If it is a hope for you, that somewhere people gathering new forces to again tear apart each other in even more bloody wars, so let it, have such hope.&quot;
** Karl Ettlinger, ''Der erschossene Storch'', 1930
** Description: dialogue between the characters of the novel, Jung, who wakes up after five thousand years of hibernation in a post-apocalyptic world where most people have been murdered with chemical weapon, and Cassius, the leader of the last people, pacifists and vegetarians enjoying life, who decided to resign from procreation, having come to the conclusion that the existence of people always sooner or later is associated with the making of slaughters by them.

* To those, on the other hand, who under a pious cloak blaspheme by their continence both the creation and the holy Creator, the almighty, only God, and teach that one must reject marriage and begetting of children, and should not bring others in their place to live in this wretched world, nor give any sustenance to death , our reply is as follows.
** [[Clement of Alexandria]], [http://gnosis.org/library/strom3.htm ''Stromata, Book III, Chapter VI, 45'']
** Description: about the gnostic sect of Encratites.

* &quot;For mortals it is better not to be born than to be born; Children I bring to birth with bitter pains; And then when I have borne them they lack understanding. In vain I groan, that I must look on wicked offspring. While I lose the good. If the good survive, My wretched heart is melted by alarm. What is this goodness then? Is it not enough That I should care for one alone And bear the pain for this one soul?&quot; And further to the same effect, &quot;So now I think and have long so thought Man ought never children to beget, Seeing into what agonies we are born.&quot; But in the following verses he clearly attributes the cause of evil to the primal origins, when he speaks as follows: &quot;O thou who art born for misfortune and disaster, thou art born a man, and thine unhappy life thou didst receive from the place where the air of heaven, which gives breath to mortals, first began to give food for all. Complain not of thy mortal state, thou who art mortal.&quot; Again he puts the same idea in these words: &quot;No mortal is content and happy Nor is any born free from sorrow.&quot;
** [[Euripides]], quoted and commented by [[Clement of Alexandria]], [http://gnosis.org/library/strom3.htm ''Stromata, Book III, Chapter III, 22-23'']

* What could be worse?&lt;br /&gt;Sex leads death's dance,&lt;br /&gt;In childbirth grief begins.
** [[Euripides]], ''[[w:Medea_(play)|Medea]]''

==F==

* Where shall I be a hundred years from now? Where will all the present dwellers of the Earth be? To die, for ever and ever; to have existed but for a moment! What a mockery! Would it not be better a hundred times over never to have been born? But if it be our fate to live eternally and never to be able to change anything of the fatality that carries us along – having endless eternity always before us – how can we bear the burden of such a destiny? Is that the doom awaiting us? If we should tire of existence, we should be forbidden to fly from it; it would be impossible to end it. In this conception, there is far more implacable cruelty than in that of an ephemeral life vanishing away insect's flight in the fresh evening breeze. Why then were we born? To suffer uncertainty; to find after examination not a single one of our hope a left; to live like idiots if we do not think, like madmen if we do?
** {{w|Camille Flammarion}}, [http://www.gutenberg.org/files/52933/52933-h/52933-h.htm ''Uranie''], 1889
** Description: the words of the character, Georges Spero.

* He seriously thought that there is less harm in killing a man than producing a child: in the first case you are relieving someone of life, not his whole life but a half or a quarter or a hundredth part of that existence that is going to finish, that would finish without you; but as for the second, he would say, are you not responsible to him for all the tears he will shed, from the cradle to the grave? Without you he would never have been born, and why is he born? For your amusement, not for his, that's for sure; to carry your name, the name of a fool, I'll be bound – you may as well write that name on some wall; why do you need a man to bear the burden of three or four letters?
**[[Gustave Flaubert]], ''November'', 1841
** Description: about the protagonist. 

* The idea of bringing someone into the world fills me with horror. I would curse myself if I were a father. A son of mine! Oh no, no, no! May my entire flesh perish and may I transmit to no one the aggravations and the disgrace of existence.
** [[Gustave Flaubert]], ''The Letters of Gustave Flaubert 1830-1857'', 1846

==G==

* Suppose for a moment that all procreation stops, it will only mean that all destruction will cease. Moksha is nothing but release from the cycle of births and deaths. This alone is believed to be the highest bliss, and rightly.
** [[Mahatma Gandhi]], ''Collected works, volume 23'', 1958

* The ideal brahmachari had not to struggle with sensual desire or desire for procreation; it never troubles him at all. The whole world will be to him one vast family, he will centre allhis ambition in relieving the misery of mankind and the desire for procreation will be to him as gall and wormwood.
** [[Mahatma Gandhi]], ''Collected works, volume 30'', 1968

* If destruction is violence, creation, too, is violence. Procreation, therefore, involves violence. The creation of what is bound to perish certainly involves violence.
** [[Mahatma Gandhi]], ''Collected works, volume 32'', 1969

* What shall I write ...? If I say that is good, it would be a lie. If I express sorrow, it would be violence. ... I would only say and wish that you learn to control yours senses.
** [[Mahatma Gandhi]], ''Gandhi's Passion: The Life and Legacy of Mahatma Gandhi'', 2002
** Description: letter to his nephew Chhaganlal's wife Kashi, who had just given birth to a daughter.

* Answer without flinching: if there existed a solution that could abolish the totality of all evils inflicted on disastrous humanity, if it was possible, by some simple remedy, incredibly cheap, immediately accessible, scrupulously inoffensive, of absolute and definitive efficiency, to stop all distress, all cries, all cries of pain, all pathologies, all protests of ill-being, all despair, all cataclysms, all anxiety, all unhappiness, in short all tortures afflicting the human species, would you have the macabre stupidity to reject such a remedy, to disdain such a miracle cure? No, that goes without saying. Well this solution does exist, and the mysterious is thereby delivered to us: it consists simply, in its saintly simplicity, to not procreate.
** {{w|Théophile de Giraud}}, [http://theophiledegiraud.e-monsite.com/medias/files/manifeste-anti-nataliste.pdf ''L'art de guillotiner les procréateurs: Manifeste anti-nataliste''], 2006, p. 10

* Significant symbolism: we are all born in filth and suffering, of course in the suffering of our mother, who, however, has no right to complain if it was her choice, but above all in the one we experience, the victims, the unfortunate exiles from emptiness, who being in paradisiacal pelagic darkness, in which no anxiety reached us, we suddenly start to struggle, terribly squeezed, almost grinded, choking and fainting, because we are forced out through a poor quality birth canal, designed by this incompetent handyman called Mother Nature.
**{{w|Théophile de Giraud}}, [http://theophiledegiraud.e-monsite.com/medias/files/manifeste-anti-nataliste.pdf ''L'art de guillotiner les procréateurs: Manifeste anti-nataliste''], 2006, pp. 13–14

* Another argument is often made by the irresponsible ones who breed us – that it is an act of &quot;leaving a trace&quot; – strange impulse! Let us immediately observe that from an ethological point of view this is akin to the attitude many mammals have to leave droppings on the ground to mark their path or territory. The dog urinating against a lamp post also leaves a trace, one however which, unlike the baby, benefits from the privilege of not having to endure the grueling stresses of life.
** {{w|Théophile de Giraud}}, [http://theophiledegiraud.e-monsite.com/medias/files/manifeste-anti-nataliste.pdf ''L'art de guillotiner les procréateurs: Manifeste anti-nataliste''], 2006, p. 35

* If it was otherwise, if procreation was not the result of the most scandalous narcissism, if our odious parents were really moved by some generosity, prospective adoption candidates would be incredibly more numerous than the millions of children who wait, right now, to be adopted! But talk about adoption and you'll see a big frown of &quot;yes-but-not-for-me&quot; form on their face, greedy to possess a prey coming entirely from their bodies. &quot;Orphans? Someone else's baby? Come on, get scientists to help vanquish my infertility instead!&quot; 
**{{w|Théophile de Giraud}}, [http://theophiledegiraud.e-monsite.com/medias/files/manifeste-anti-nataliste.pdf ''L'art de guillotiner les procréateurs: Manifeste anti-nataliste''], 2006, p. 51

* The predispositions and motivations of the obviously noble individuals are assessed, individuals who want, through adoption, to help existing child swim in the hell of existence, but even the most ominous fool, if he only has such a wish, has absolute right, through creation, to immerse them this hell, without having to justify it in any way.
**{{w|Théophile de Giraud}}, [http://theophiledegiraud.e-monsite.com/medias/files/manifeste-anti-nataliste.pdf ''L'art de guillotiner les procréateurs: Manifeste anti-nataliste''], 2006, p. 147

* How is it that in no epoch of history, in no place on earth, a sect of wise men has been formed with the aim of making human life die out in the face of the cruelty of its evils? 
** {{w|Goncourt brothers}}, ''Journal: Memoires de la vie litteraire. 1864-1878. Tome 2''

* Imagine that it's possible. This is what I think. . . . When I was young this I thought and still think to this day, that I do not know how all of it works and where it is leading... what would I tell a child about all this, why was they born and for what purpose? . . . We breed, we give birth without thought. But then, when the child says: I never asked for this – we find ourselves bereft of answers. A multitude of misfortunes are happening on earth, life is a great risk, and it often hurts terribly... So should one take responsibility, bring someone into the world, &quot;bestow the gift of life&quot;? 
** Krystyna Gonet, ''Jak by to powiedzieć... Rozmowy z Krystianem Lupą'', 2002, pp. 47–48
** Description: answer to Krystian Lupa's question &quot;Is it possible to think that we should not give birth to children at all, because the meaning of life is not certain?&quot;

* I am able to find meaning in my life, but I do not feel entitled to impose it to anyone.
** Krystyna Gonet, ''Jak by to powiedzieć... Rozmowy z Krystianem Lupą'', 2002, p. 49

*Didn't Conrad, in his great novel &quot;Heart of Darkness&quot;, had this feeling of deathbed despair, when he mentions Kurz's doubtful fight with death – fight without confidence? Same Conrad, who put in one of his novels Calderon's words, that the biggest misfortune of man is to be born, as a tagline? This coincides with your repeatedly spoken thesis, that the biggest iniquity is to bring children to life, because giving them birth is sentencing them to death. We are pulling them out from the nothingness, from the state of complete unconsciousness into reality – and then we command them to undergo the agony of death, which they wouldn't have to experience without being alive in the first place.
** Zbigniew Grabowski, ''Rozmowy z Tobą'', 1974, p. 151
** Description: written to his wife Zofia Grabowska

* For the bodily procreation of children (let no one be displayed by this argument) is more an embarking upon death that upon life for man. Corruption has its beginning in birth and those who refrain from procreation through virginity themselves bring about a cancellation of death by preventing it from advancing further because of them, and, by setting themselves up as a kind of boundary stone between life and death, they keep death from going forward.
** [[Gregory of Nyssa]], ''Ascetical Works (The Fathers of the Church, Volume 58)''

==H==

* There are two most conscious actions that man can act upon: suicide and desisting procreation.
** {{w|Yutaka Haniya}}, ''無限の相のもとに'', 1997

* For instance, people call me a pessimist; and if it is pessimism to think, with Sophocles, that's not to have been born is best,' then I do not reject the designation.
** {{w|Thomas Hardy}}, ''Interviews and Recollections'', 2016

* Humans are the most destructive creatures on the planet. We cause vast numbers of animal deaths (both directly and indirectly). We destroy habitats. We damage the environment. We are currently heating up the world's climate in a way that is likely to be detrimental to countless numbers of animals (ourselves included). And we have the means, nuclear weapons, to destroy everything at the push of a button. We came perilously close to pushing that button on one occasion (the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962). The best way to stop the destruction is to remove the destructive force; to remove humans by refraining from procreation. In short, the colossal amount of harm caused by humans gives us a moral reason to boycott the human species. 
** Gerald Harrison, Julia Tanner, [https://www.cambridge.org/core/services/aop-cambridge-core/content/view/3AF8BE47794522E31BE351F4D9822344/S1477175610000436a.pdf/better_not_to_have_children.pdf ''Better Not To Have Children''], 2010, p. 113

* It might be pointed out that we cannot gain someone's consent to exist; we cannot gain their consent before they exist and by the time they exist it's too late. But the fact that we cannot gain their consent does not mean that we are free to do without it. Suppose you wish to torture someone against their will, you cannot seek your victim's consent – the torture would not then be against their will. It would be absurd to argue that for this reason we are permitted to torture people against their will. Similarly, the fact that prospective parents cannot get the consent of those they plan to bring into existence doesn't magically mean it's OK. Quite the opposite – if you can't get the consent of the person you're going to significantly affect by your action, then the default position is that you don't do whatever it is that's going to affect them. There are exceptions. Pushing someone out of the way of a falling piano is morally right even if no prior consent can be given (if, for instance, there isn't time). But in this kind of case you are preventing someone from coming to great harm. To procreate – to subject someone to a life – does not prevent them coming to harm. Not being created cannot harm them because they don't exist.
** Gerald Harrison, Julia Tanner, [https://www.cambridge.org/core/services/aop-cambridge-core/content/view/3AF8BE47794522E31BE351F4D9822344/S1477175610000436a.pdf/better_not_to_have_children.pdf ''Better Not To Have Children''], 2010, pp. 117–118

* It therefore seems there are at least two prima facie duties that push towards making procreative acts wrong overall: our prima facie duty to prevent pain and our prima facie duty not to seriously affect someone else without his prior consent.
** Gerald Harrison, ''Antinatalism, Asymmetry, and an Ethic of Prima Facie Duties'', 2012

* I believe it is morally wrong to cause avoidable suffering to other people. This belief gives rise to two different objections to human reproduction. On the one hand, since all human beings suffer at some point in their lives, every parent who could have declined to procreate is to blame. On the other hand, since potential parents cannot guarantee that the lives of their children will be better than non-existence, they can also be rightfully accused of gambling on other people's lives, whatever the outcome. Because of the uncertainties of human life, anybody's children can end up arguing that it would have been better for them not to have been born at all. The probability of this outcome does not necessarily matter. It is enough that the possibility is real, which it always is.
**{{w|Matti Häyry}}, [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1733883/pdf/v030p00377.pdf ''A rational cure for prereproductive stress syndrome''], 2004

* Sleep is good, death is better; but of course,&lt;br /&gt;the best thing would to have never been born at all.
** [[Heinrich Heine]], ''Morphine'', 1856

* Wouldn't it be nice to have a kid, to have this fresh, clean slate, which we could fill, and a little clean spirit, totally, you know, innocent, and to fill it with good ideas. Yeah, yeah, how about this? If you're so f#####g altruistic, why don't you leave the little clean spirit wherever it is right now? Ok? Horrible act, childbirth. It's a nightmare. Bringing – I would never bring a kid to this f#####g planet. 
** [[Bill Hicks]], ''Love All the People: Letters, Lyrics, Routines'', 2004

* The mother instinct is something of which I am completely devoid. I explain it like this to myself: life is a vale of tears and all human beings are miserable creatures, so I cannot take the responsibility for bringing yet another unhappy creature into the world.
** [[Etty Hillesum]], ''An interrupted Life: The Diaries of Etty Hillesum 1941–1943'', 1981

* I respect the deserters and solidarize myself with the forcibly recruited.
** {{w|Ulrich Horstmann}}, [http://www.literaturkritik.de/public/rezension.php?rez_id=583 ''Wir bewohnen einen Hinterhof – Ein Interview mit Ulrich Horstmann'']
** Description: about suicide and procreation.

* Mankind's only aim is to reproduce, to continue the species. Although this aim is obviously insignificant, mankind pursues it with terrifying relentlessness. Men may well be unhappy, atrociously unhappy, but they resist with all their strength the thing that could change their fate: they want children, and children similar to them, in order to dig their own grave and perpetuate the conditions for unhappiness.
**[[Michel Houellebecq]], ''The Possibility of an Island'', 2005
** Description: the words of the character, prophet.

*  ...I am not cut out to be a parent. Besides, I consider marriage a sin and having children a crime. ... It is also my conviction that he who takes upon himself the yoke of marriage is a fool, even more a sinner. A fool, for in so doing he disposes of his freedom without gaining a corresponding compensation; a sinner, for he gives life to children without being able to give them the certainty of happiness. I despise mankind in all its strata; I foresee that our descendants will be far more unhappy than we are —  would I not be a sinner if, in spite of this view, I did not care for those who are to come, that is, for those unhappy beings? - No sight fills me with greater melancholy than that of an innocent little child. I cannot help myself to think every time of the sufferings, which it ripens towards. All life is a great nonsense. And when one has toiled and researched for eighty years, one must admit that one has toiled and researched for nothing. If only we knew why we are in this world! But everything is and will be enigmatic for the thinker, and the greatest happiness is to have been born stupid.
** [[Alexander von Humboldt]], [https://salmoxisbote.de/Bote06/Humboldt.htm from the diary of the Countess von B., previously Fräulein von R., who died in 1852, in which she records a conversation Humboldt had with one of her friends in Paris in 1812.]
** Description: the same citation can also be found, for instance, in [[Philipp Mainländer]]'s Philosophie der Erlösung

* The whole earth, believe me, Philo, is cursed and polluted. A perpetual war is kindled amongst all living creatures. Necessity, hunger, want, stimulate the strong and courageous: Fear, anxiety, terror, agitate the weak and infirm. The first entrance into life gives anguish to the new-born infant and to its wretched parent: weakness, impotence, distress, attend each stage of that life: and 'tis at last finished in agony and horror.
** [[David Hume]], ''Dialogues concerning natural religion'', 1779
** Description: the words of the character, Demea.

* Whatever the feeling of those who procreate, as long as they act knowingly not unaware that they are organisms for pain, souls of disappointment, harmful beings, both victims and executioners, they are malefactors, and the child has the right to consider his father and mother as mere murderers. Yes, murderers! Because giving life means also giving death. A look from this perspective should be enough to demand abstaining from begetting. And then what? End of the world! Of course, it would be the end of the world in the short or long term and I do not see any problem with it.
**{{w|Marie Huot}}, ''[https://www.tpsalomonreinach.mom.fr/Reinach/MOM_TP_129996/MOM_TP_129996_0001/PDF/MOM_TP_129996_0001.pdf Le mal de vivre]'', 1909

* Lack of capacity to give consent do not mean somebody can inflict any action to the person that lacks the capacity to give informed consent. For example, minor under age of consent deemed to lack the capacity to give consent, so any sexual contact with such minor is deemed rape unconditionally (statutory rape). Even though for example, medical treatment, vaccination, and compulsory education are inflicted without the informed consent of the child, such action is deemed to be (whether real or purported) best interest of the child to be justifiable. For procreation, the child neither given consent thereto nor have any interest to come into existence, although once came into existence, the child may have the interest to continue their existence.
** Jiwoon Hwang, ''Procreation Is Murder: The Case for Voluntary Human Extinction'', 2017

==I==

* Born in horror and pain, I also live in horrible dread of the end, the exit. I'm caught in an incredible, inadmissible, infernal trap, between two frightful events.
**[[Eugene Ionesco]], ''The Hermit'', 1977

* Two things are unacceptable: birth and death. I did not ask for them and I do not accept them.
** [[Eugene Ionesco]], ''Un homme en question'', 1979

==J==

* When life failed our expectations, when we gave up the creation of ourselves, when we sense that everything is in ruins then instead of going to the mortuary we lead the family and relatives to the place even more grave and kitschy place: to the maternity ward.
** Roland Jaccard, ''La tenstation nihiliste'', 1989

* What could be more obscene than a woman proudly carrying a future corpse in her belly?
** Roland Jaccard, ''Topologie du pessimisme'', 1997

* Causing the birth of a child means abusing this child. At the mere idea that they could give life, every wise man thinks that he would prefer to die.
** Roland Jaccard, ''Un climatiseur en enfer'', 2000

* How can anyone take seriously an insane idea that the world was created by a good God, and sign up under the most criminal of all imperatives: &quot;be fruitful and multiply&quot;?
** Roland Jaccard, ''Sexe et sarcasmes'', 2009

* Never, at any point in life, I could get rid of the notion that this type of ending to life, which brings death, is an absurdity, unendurable without the smokescreen of one or another myth, a delusion that goes beyond the boundaries of our biological being, which is a seasonal being, bounded by space and time, understood only in these categories, which doesn't signify that we must understand precisely this form of being as the existence and non-existence, reasonable, righteous, and the only one, just because it's necessary. Inevitability does not mean a wise solution. First of all, it deprives us of freedom. Since the earliest years of consciousness, we are determined, we know about it, at any time we are in danger, never safe. Does existence in the vastness of the universe have to be connected with constant risk, does it have to be like a house, where tenancy agreement can be terminated at any time; can't we think about existence based on more permanent foundations, less limited, having knowledge about something much wiser? These thoughts of a rational being are based on the common logic of thinking, they do not take into account another possibility, that being shouldn't be considered in the category of logic and necessity, but it can be considered in the categories of absurd, lack of logic and hostile necessity. The difficultly of accepting death does not have to result in an attachment to life, from a deficiency so great that a being already brought into existence, would like to live forever or not be born at all. However, this is not senseless thinking, on the contrary, it seems much more sensible than all this huge preparation for a short life. A rational being – it may seem so to us – should have the right to choose death, but should not be submitted to a determined death sentence, should not be a convict.
**{{w|Mieczysław Jastrun}}, ''Wolność wyboru'', 1969

* You must not marry and have sons or daughters in this place.
:* [[Book of Jeremiah|Jeremiah]] 16:2
::: ''Barnes Notes on the Bible'' offers this gloss:
:::* As marriage was obligatory upon the Jews, the prohibition of it to Jeremiah was a sign that the impending calamity was so great as to override all ordinary duties.
::::* ''Barnes Notes on the Bible'', vol. 5, p. 412

* She asks, &quot;How long shall men die?&quot; Jesus answers, &quot;As long as you women bear children&quot;. Writers like Julius Cassianus take this as an implicit injunction to defeat death by ceasing from procreation. Clement resorts to allegorical explanation. By &quot;as long as women bear children&quot; the Lord meant &quot;as long as desires are active&quot;.
** {{w|John T. Noonan Jr.}}, ''Contraception; a history of its treatment by the Catholic theologians and canonists''
** Description: the dialogue of Jesus Christ with Salome from [[w:Greek Gospel of the Egyptians|Greek Gospel of the Egyptians]]. (The further part of the dialogue: Salome: &quot;I have done well, then, in not bearing children?&quot; Jesus: &quot;Every plant eat thou, but that which hath bitterness eat not. I have come to destroy the works of the female.&quot;)

==K==

* I'd also gone through an entire year of celibacy based on my feeling that lust was the direct cause of birth which was the direct cause of suffering and death and I had really no lie come to a point where I regarded lust as offensive and even cruel. &quot;Pretty girls make graves&quot;, was my saying, whenever I'd had to turn my head around involuntarily to stare at the incomparable pretties of Indian Mexico.
** [[Jack Kerouac]], ''The Dharma Bums'', 1958

* I will have to preach the only possible truth: The abolishing of death by extermination of birth. Life control. Put an end to human rebirth, by abstaining from sexual intercourse. Everybody stop breeding, or by method of-birth-control stop birth. At the same time, stop killing for sport or for eating living beings; they tremble at punishment and death too. Everybody live off vegetables and synthetic foods, causing no pain anywhere.
** [[Jack Kerouac]], ''Some of the Dharma'', 1997

* Let us cease bestiality and go into the bright room of the mind realizing emptiness, and sit with the truth. And let no man be guilty, after this, Dec. 9 1954, of causing birth. – Let there be an end to birth, an end to life, and therefore an end to death. Let there be no more fairy tales and ghost stories around and about this. I don't advocate that everybody die, I only say everybody finish your lives in purity and solitude and gentleness and realization of the truth and be not the cause of any further birth and turning of the black wheel of death.
** [[Jack Kerouac]], ''Some of the Dharma'', 1997

* I wouldn't have come had I had my say,&lt;br&gt;Nor would I leave Here if I had my way;&lt;br&gt;Ah, nothing better in this world could be&lt;br&gt;Than not to come, nor be, not go away.
** [[Omar Khayyam]], ''Rubaʼiyat of Omar Khayyam''

* Since Heaven increases nothing but our pain,&lt;br&gt;And gives naught that it takes not back again,&lt;br&gt;The unborn ne'er would hither come if they&lt;br&gt;But knew what we at Fortune's hands sustain.
** [[Omar Khayyam]], ''The Wisdom of Omar Khayyam''

* A man is born in sin, he enters this world by means of a crime, his existence is a crime – and procreation is the fall.
** [[Søren Kierkegaard]], ''The Last Years: The Kierkegaard Journals 1853-1855'', 1965

* I give thanks to God that no living being owes me existence.
** [[Søren Kierkegaard]], ''The Last Years: The Kierkegaard Journals 1853-1855'', 1965

* That is what Christianity is for – which straightaway bars the way to procreation. This means: stop!
** [[Søren Kierkegaard]], ''The Last Years: The Kierkegaard Journals 1853-1855'', 1965

* Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth — look at the dying man’s struggle at his last extremity, and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus could be intended for enjoyment.
** [[Søren Kierkegaard]], quoted in {{cite book |editor1-last=Rohde |editor1-first=Peter P. |title=Diary |date=1960 |publisher={{w|Philosophical Library}} |isbn=978-0-8065-0251-9 |page=25 |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=8ToNAQAAMAAJ}}

* Phasing out the human race by voluntarily ceasing to breed will allow Earth's biosphere to return to good health. Crowded conditions and resource shortages will improve as we become less dense.
** Les U. Knight, ''Environment and Natural Resources'', 2010

* First, the damp, dark depths and a lonely embryo in a warm interior. He does not yet know that he has been betrayed, that the sentence has been given. In it, all his future illusions and defeats. For now he is still in the garden, beyond consciousness, but they will pull him out and his excruciating screaming will not help. Nobody will take pity on him here because no one has received pity. First, only as a body, unconscious of itself, but unfortunately, it cannot remain that way. If only this body could see what awaits it! Perfidy lies in the fact that it can't! The body is not allowed to, because the sentence must be executed. The unspeakable horror of birth in which is already lying, curled up, the horror of life. This horror will then crawl out in all directions only to end up in a ditch, in a gutter, in a suburban railway car, on an icy sheet of a hospital bed or in warm sheets, among close ones, which are always too far away to tell them about themselves. If such is the beginning, what is to be expected at the end? Then, when they snatch him from inside, despite screams and pleas. When they wash the blood from their hands, like they would after murder. Wandering begins, to meet someone, to get somewhere. Both are impossible, but this impossibility can only be seen after a while, so again it goes back to a few illusions and comforts, which make the boredom and monotony of the road more pleasant. All these gusts, elation, despair of awakened senses. And this is just a short leash of desires and vents. And this is just a string of habits that will bind also many others after him. Dreams, illusions, fantasies, swarms of them, they run, to finally fall from exhaustion anywhere, feeling muck on the face, debris, sticky mud puddles, and finally a massive stench of dirt, exploding in the nostrils. 
** Grzegorz Kociuba, ''Ktoś'', 2003

* Oh, the greatest of torments&lt;br /&gt;Embrace towards the dawn&lt;br /&gt;The flower of death to bloom!&lt;br /&gt;Oh, the greatest of torments&lt;br /&gt;To sow the flower in the grave&lt;br /&gt;Bloom from your own womb&lt;br /&gt;Oh, the greatest of torments&lt;br /&gt;To reproduce the moans&lt;br /&gt;To add one more moan&lt;br /&gt;One, the special one&lt;br /&gt;What tugs the mother spirit&lt;br /&gt;By the harshest of torments&lt;br /&gt;Oh, the greatest of punishments&lt;br /&gt;To feed the old hunger for life&lt;br /&gt;By giving them our blood&lt;br /&gt;To a huge pile of death&lt;br /&gt;Fuming with eternal heat&lt;br /&gt;Throw more wood!&lt;br /&gt;Oh, these hours will come,&lt;br /&gt;When the mother's pain rises,&lt;br /&gt;It will face the guilt of life&lt;br /&gt;Like earth replete with births&lt;br /&gt;And will ask in a reckoning voice:&lt;br /&gt;Where's your fruit? Where's your child?&lt;br /&gt;Oh, this hour will come,&lt;br /&gt;What starts to beat in the twilights,&lt;br /&gt;Into rust-coloured bronze of centuries&lt;br /&gt;When these wombs close&lt;br /&gt;Like barren land&lt;br /&gt;Which give birth to their cross today.
** {{w|Maria Konopnicka}}, ''Botticelli'', 1901

* One more martyr! Go back from where you came from, child&lt;br /&gt;There are enough unfortunate ones in the world without you,&lt;br /&gt;Go back, close your eyes, do not look at the world,&lt;br /&gt;Push away your mother's breasts and do not demand life. 
** {{w|Józef Ignacy Kraszewski}}, ''Do Nowonarodzonego'', 1843

* You'll also find delight! – it's not worth being born for it,&lt;br /&gt;It's like a night star, it will be flashing and setting,&lt;br /&gt;And it will only rise so that the bloody suffering,&lt;br /&gt;Will tear your heart and soul even harder.&lt;br /&gt;Such delight isn't worth the name of delight.&lt;br /&gt;And this world won't give you other one.
** {{w|Józef Ignacy Kraszewski}}, ''Do Nowonarodzonego'', 1843

* Forgive me your birth in this strange land.&lt;br /&gt;I wanted your infant kisses, your fists clasped&lt;br /&gt;round my neck. I craved you, though you were born&lt;br /&gt;in the wake of my illness, my dim prognosis.&lt;br /&gt;I was selfish: I willed you this woe, this world.&lt;br /&gt;You inherited exile for my sake.
** {{w|Anya Krugovoy Silver}}, [https://www.christiancentury.org/artsculture/poems/psalm-137-noah ''Psalm 137 for Noah'']
** Description: a poem that the author wrote for her son before she died of cancer.

* I'll be frank. I've always felt that it's horrible to send a person into the world who didn't ask to be there. . . . Look around you. Of all the people you see, no one is here by his own wish. Of course, what I just said is the most banal truth there is. So banal, and so basic, that we've stopped seeing it and hearing it. . . . Everyone jabbers about human rights. What a joke! Your existence isn't founded on any right. They don't even allow you to end your life by your own choice, these defenders of human rights. . . . Look at them all! Look! At least half the people you are seeing are ugly. Being ugly–is that one of the human rights too? And do you know what it is to carry your ugliness with you through your whole life? With not a moment of relief? Or your sex? You never chose that. Or the color of your eyes? Or your era on earth? Or your country? Or your mother? None of the things that matter. The rights a person can have involve only pointless things, for which there is no reason to fight or to write great declarations! You're here as you are because I was weak. That was my fault. Forgive me.
**[[Milan Kundera]], ''The Festival of Insignificance''
** Description: the words of the character, Alain's imaginary mother.

* Not by violent means (murder, war and the like), but peacefully, let mankind disappear from our globe.
** Kurnig, ''Der Neo-Nihilismus. Anti-Militarismus. Sexualleben (Ende der Menschheit)'', p. 51

* I mourn the creatures you bring into the world who could not defend themselves when you created them, who otherwise would have protested out loud against your action. Since it all boils down to suffering and destruction. 
** Kurnig, ''Der Neo-Nihilismus. Anti-Militarismus. Sexualleben (Ende der Menschheit)'', p. 84

* Never to have procreated – this be your consolation when you die.
** Kurnig, ''Der Neo-Nihilismus. Anti-Militarismus. Sexualleben (Ende der Menschheit)'', p. 92

* I beget you (says such a nurturer) to have the pleasure of seeing what is within you and what is not. Doing this I am forcing upon you a lot of suffering and, at last, the nasty catastrophe of dying.
** Kurnig, ''Der Neo-Nihilismus. Anti-Militarismus. Sexualleben (Ende der Menschheit)'', p. 125

==L==

* Man hands on misery to man.&lt;br&gt;It deepens like a coastal shelf.&lt;br&gt;Get out as early as you can,&lt;br&gt;And don't have any kids yourself.
**[[Philip Larkin]], [https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48419/this-be-the-verse ''This Be The Verse''], 1971

* All of us are brought into existence, without our consent, and over the course of our lives, we are acquainted with a multitude of goods. Unfortunately, there is a limit to the amount of good each of us will have in our lives. Eventually, each of us will die and we will be permanently cut off from the prospect of any further good. Existence, viewed in this way, seems to be a cruel joke. 
** Marc Larock, [https://research-repository.st-andrews.ac.uk/bitstream/handle/10023/717/Marc%20Larock%20MPhil%20thesis.pdf?sequence=6&amp;isAllowed=y ''Possible preferences and the harm of existence''], 2009, p. 89

* Perhaps the day will never come when people realize that moral patients like us should cease to exist. It would be an unconscionable tragedy if we never do. I remain optimistic, however. Some very interesting arguments have recently been advanced in support of the conclusion that it is always worse for a person to live than not. I suspect that many more will follow. Until the day that individuals begin to take non-procreation seriously on a widespread scale, perhaps all we can do is follow Schopenhauer: &quot;The conviction that the world, and therefore man too, is something which really ought not to exist is in fact calculated to instil in us indulgence towards one another: for what can be expected of beings placed in such a situation as we are? From this point of view one might indeed consider that the appropriate form of address between man and man ought to be, not monsieur, sir, but fellow sufferer, compagnon de misères. However strange this may sound it corresponds to the nature of the case, makes us see other men in a true light and reminds us of what are the most necessary of all things: tolerance, patience, forbearance and charity, which each of us needs and which each of us therefore owes.&quot; (On the Sufferings of the World)
** Marc Larock, [https://research-repository.st-andrews.ac.uk/bitstream/handle/10023/717/Marc%20Larock%20MPhil%20thesis.pdf?sequence=6&amp;isAllowed=y ''Possible preferences and the harm of existence''], 2009, p. 138

* Birth seems to me so sorry and squalid an accident . . . if fathers and mothers took thought before bringing children into this misery of a world, only the monsters among them would dare to go through with it.
** [[T. E. Lawrence]], ''A Prince of Our Disorder: The Life of T. E. Lawrence'', 1998

* People aware of their own birth and death in this way are said not to be lacking. Not lacking in what? Not lacking in birth. They're acquainted with the births they've experienced through many lives and states of being in the past—so many that they're weary of it all, to the point where they don't want to take birth again. As for people who don't know, who don't have this awareness, they feel that they're lacking. They want to take birth again and so they keep on creating birth over and over again. As for those who do have awareness, they've had enough. They're smart enough. They won't give rise to any more births or states of being. Whatever is good, they keep within themselves, like putting a ripe mango seed in a showcase to look at, or peeling off its hard outer shell and then putting it in a storeroom. No one will be able to plant it again, and we can take it out for a look whenever we want.
**[[Ajahn Lee]], ''Inner Strength'' (1956), as translated from the Thai by Ṭhānissaro Bhikkhu

* When parents warn their children that the world is full of selfish people who want to take advantage of them and who will treat them unfairly, they do the same thing as warning them that there are other people in the world like the parents themselves. It is tantamount to informing them that, even with a world full of people like that, exploitative and unjust, and even with life being very difficult, the parents (who knew this) forced their children into being, even though it was avoidable.
** Thiago Lenharo di Santis, [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/12/09/second-chapter-of-because-i-love-you-you-will-not-be-born/ ''Porque te amo, não nascerás! Nascituri te salutant''], 2009, p. 146

* Considering that there is no guarantee that the child will be &quot;happy,&quot; that any effort made towards this goal can be in vain, that if the child did not exist then this problem would not exist, and that such problem arose because the child was forced to be born for the luxury of his parents—even though it was avoidable—from all this follows that a responsible and sensitive &quot;procreator&quot; (or rather a responsible pre-procreator) would stop right there, precisely at &quot;pre.&quot;
** Thiago Lenharo di Santis, [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2018/02/12/third-chapter-of-because-i-love-you-you-will-not-be-born/ ''Porque te amo, não nascerás! Nascituri te salutant''], 2009, p. 162–163

* The gamble, in this case, has put at risk another innocent, without power, knowledge and responsibility; the gamble was unnecessary and could have been avoided; if it had been avoided, it would not harm this innocent, and it was not avoided because we are talking about a compulsive gambler.
** Thiago Lenharo di Santis, [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2018/02/12/third-chapter-of-because-i-love-you-you-will-not-be-born/ ''Porque te amo, não nascerás! Nascituri te salutant''], 2009, p. 186–187

* The new being (the child) is unknown, and some possibilities available to them are terrible and devastating. One of these possibilities is a painful process of suicide in which the individual experiences, sometimes for years, various types of suffering, until they effectively get rid of everything. Notice that when we decide to have a child, we have no way of being sure that they will not go through this. The only thing parents need to do to expose their child to such a possibility is to have the child.
** Thiago Lenharo di Santis, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GKo0aMJhS8&amp;feature=youtu.be ''Porque te amo, NÃO NASCERÁS! Palestra 2 de 3''], 2013, 1:06 - 1:43

* If the extreme case of the suicide or the particularly pessimistic group is not considered by you to be a legitimate or real risk, then for the purposes of this presentation, these examples can be replaced by other cases. For example, the case of people who struggle with serious existential difficulties (like the ones commonly treated by psychoanalysts). Or the case of people with common health problems: we currently have a list of more than 7000 diseases that affect our physical and mental health, and which can drastically change the quality of our lives, even very suddenly. Not to mention, of course, the natural process of aging and fatigue to which we are all subjected. Or yet, the case of people who do not look for professional help, but in order to continue living or surviving they need to intoxicate themselves, change their state of consciousness with legal or illegal drugs, create psychosis, etc. Anyway, even for one who is not a tormented suicide, life does not seem to be so easy. Sometimes an individual needs years of therapy in order to become minimally stable. And what if the new being, our child, find themselves at some moment in such a condition? Notice then how a common decision, whose habit is considered noble, can bring an immense suffering. It is then that the true non-triviality of this decision begins to appear, as well as how important (or even necessary) it is to have a greater reflection and sensitivity in this subject. But always from the perspective of the new being, and not only from our perspective as prospective parents.
** Thiago Lenharo di Santis, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GKo0aMJhS8&amp;feature=youtu.be ''Porque te amo, NÃO NASCERÁS! Palestra 2 de 3''], 2013, 1:57 - 3:28

* Certainly there are innumerable risks in procreation. But the real problem is not simply that there are risks, but that these risks extend to the child, not being limited only to the father and mother. The decision, when taken in favor of procreation, exceeds the parties who have taken the decision, and thus brings implications to a necessarily innocent being, who did not actively participate in this process that would affect them. A parent who is truly committed to their child's well-being would not create these possibilities, nor put them in risky situations, nor bring about something that could be devastating to the child.
** Thiago Lenharo di Santis, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GKo0aMJhS8&amp;feature=youtu.be ''Porque te amo, NÃO NASCERÁS! Palestra 2 de 3''], 2013, 3:30 - 4:07

* If we procreate, we put the child in a situation of innumerable risks and without guarantees for their well-being. If we do not procreate, we do not put them at risk and at the same time we do not deprive them of anything, because they never came into being, they never came to exist, and thus they will never miss anything. 
** Thiago Lenharo di Santis, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GKo0aMJhS8&amp;feature=youtu.be ''Porque te amo, NÃO NASCERÁS! Palestra 2 de 3''], 2013, 6:10 - 6:28

* Being asked for what purpose he thought men were born, he laughingly replied: To realize how much better it were not to be born.
** [[Giacomo Leopardi]], [https://it.wikisource.org/wiki/Operette_morali/Detti_memorabili_di_Filippo_Ottonieri/Capitolo_primo ''Operette Morali, Remarkable sayings of Philip Ottonieri''], 1827
** Description: the words of the character, Philip Ottonieri.

* In travail man is born;&lt;br /&gt;His birth too oft the cause of death,&lt;br /&gt;And with his earliest breath&lt;br /&gt;He pain and torment feels: e'en from the first,&lt;br /&gt;His parents fondly strive&lt;br /&gt;To comfort him in his distress;&lt;br /&gt;And if he lives and grows,&lt;br /&gt;They struggle hard, as best they may,&lt;br /&gt;With pleasant words and deeds to cheer him up,&lt;br /&gt;And seek with kindly care,&lt;br /&gt;To strengthen him his cruel lot to bear.&lt;br /&gt;This is the best that they can do&lt;br /&gt;For the poor child, however fond and true.&lt;br /&gt;But wherefore give him life?&lt;br /&gt;Why bring him up at all,&lt;br /&gt;If be all?&lt;br /&gt;If life is nought but pain and care,&lt;br /&gt;Why, why should we the burden bear?
** [[Giacomo Leopardi]], [https://it.wikisource.org/wiki/Canti_(Leopardi_-_Donati)/XXIII._Canto_notturno_di_un_pastore_errante_dell%27Asia ''Night Song Of A Wandering Shepherd In Asia''], 1831

* Perhaps in every state beneath the sun,&lt;br /&gt;Or high, or low, in cradle or in stall,&lt;br /&gt;The day of birth is fatal to us all.
** [[Giacomo Leopardi]], [https://it.wikisource.org/wiki/Canti_(Leopardi_-_Donati)/XXIII._Canto_notturno_di_un_pastore_errante_dell%27Asia ''Night Song Of A Wandering Shepherd In Asia''], 1831

* It were more reasonable that you [Nature] made happiness a necessity; or this being impossible, it were better not to bring men into the world.
** [[Giacomo Leopardi]], &quot;Dialogue Between Nature and a Soul&quot;, ''[https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/52356 Essays and Dialogues]'' (1882), p. 37.

* Thus I reply to you [Nature]. I am well aware you did not make the world for the service of men. It were easier to believe that you made it expressly as a place of torment for them. But tell me: why am I here at all? Did I ask to come into the world? Or am I here unnaturally, contrary to your will? If however, you yourself have placed me here, without giving me the power of acceptance or refusal of this gift of life, ought you not as far as possible to try and make me happy, or at least preserve me from the evils and dangers, which render my sojourn a painful one? And what I say of myself, I say of the whole human race, and of every living creature.
** [[Giacomo Leopardi]], &quot;Dialogue Between Nature and an Icelander&quot;, ''[https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/52356 Essays and Dialogues]'' (1882), pp. 78–79

* As soon as the child is born, the mother who has just brought him into the world must console him, quiet his crying, and lighten the burden of the existence she has given him. And one of the principal duties of good parents in the childhood and early youth of their children is to comfort them, to encourage them to live, because sorrows and ills and passions are at that age much heavier than they are to those who through long experience, or simply because they have lived longer, are used to suffering. And in truth it is only fitting that the good father and the good mother, in trying to console their children, correct as best they can, and ease, the damage they have done by procreating them. Good God! Why then is man born? And why does he procreate? To console those he has given birth to for having been born? 
** [[Giacomo Leopardi]], trans. Kathleen Baldwin et al., ''Zibaldone'' (2013), [2607] &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0374296827}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Perhaps the greatest strike against philosophical pessimism is that its only theme is human suffering. This is the last item on the list of our species' obsessions and detracts from everything that matters to us, such as the Good, the Beautiful, and a Sparkling Clean Toilet Bowl. For the pessimist, everything considered in isolation from human suffering or any cognition that does not have as its motive the origins, nature, and elimination of human suffering is at base recreational, whether it takes the form of conceptual probing or physical action in the world—for example, delving into game theory or traveling in outer space, respectively. And by &quot;human suffering,&quot; the pessimist is not thinking of particular sufferings and their relief, but of suffering itself. Remedies may be discovered for certain diseases and sociopolitical barbarities may be amended. But these are only stopgaps. Human suffering will remain insoluble as long as human beings exist. The one truly effective solution for suffering is that spoken of in Zapffe's &quot;Last Messiah.&quot; It may not be a welcome solution for a stopgaps world, but it would forever put an end to suffering, should we ever care to do so. The pessimist's credo, or one of them, is that nonexistence never hurt anyone and existence hurts everyone. Although our selves may be illusory creations of consciousness, our pain is nonetheless real.
**[[Thomas Ligotti]], ''The Conspiracy against the Human Race: A Contrivance of Horror'', 2010, p. 54

* As their numbers tapered off, these dead-enders of our species could be the most privileged individuals in history and share with one another material comforts once held in trust only for the well-born or moneygetting classes of the world. Since personal economic gain would be passé as a motive for the new humanity, there would be only one defensible incitement to work: to see one another through to the finish, a project that would keep everyone busy and not just staring into space while they waited for the end. There might even be bright smiles exchanged among these selfless benefactors of those who would never be forced to exist. 
** [[Thomas Ligotti]], ''The Conspiracy against the Human Race: A Contrivance of Horror'', pp. 58–59

* Opinion: There are no praiseworthy incentives to reproduce. For pro-natalists, children are only a means to an end, and none of those ends is praiseworthy. They are the ends of people who already exist, a condition that automatically makes them prejudiced in favor of existence. Yet even though these people think that being alive is all right, they are not at a loss to think of reasons why in some cases it would be better not to have been. They can only hope that their children will not be one of those cases, for their sake as well as for the sake of their offspring. To have a praiseworthy incentive for bearing a child, one would first have to prove that child to be an end in itself, which no one can prove about anything, least of all about something that does not yet exist. You could argue, of course, that a child is an end in itself and is a good in itself. And you could go on arguing until the child ages to death or sickens to death or has a fatal vehicular misadventure. But you cannot argue that anyone comes to an end that is a good in itself. You can only accept that someday he or she will come to an end that is an end in itself, which, as people sometimes say, may be for the best.
** [[Thomas Ligotti]], ''The Conspiracy against the Human Race: A Contrivance of Horror''

* Despite the fact that neither anti- nor pronatalists can prove their positions, pro-natalists have to live with the possibility that they might be wrong. That is a heavy burden to carry, and a heavier burden to pass on to subsequent generations. Antinatalists don't have a similar burden. When the action is taken on their side and a child is not born, no harm is done. No one has to suffer and die.
**[[Thomas Ligotti]], [http://evilhat.blogspot.com/2011/09/interview-thomas-ligotti.html ''Interview: Thomas Ligotti''], 2011

* Personally, I'm afraid of suffering and afraid of dying. I'm also afraid of witnessing the suffering and death of those who are close to me. And no doubt I project these fears on those around me and those to come, which makes it impossible for me to understand why everyone isn't an antinatalist, just as I have to assume pronatalists can't understand why everyone isn't like them.
**[[Thomas Ligotti]], [http://evilhat.blogspot.com/2011/09/interview-thomas-ligotti.html ''Interview: Thomas Ligotti''], 2011

* It is good to be a cynic – it is better to be a contented cat – and it is best not to exist at all. Universal suicide is the most logical thing in the world – we reject it only because of our primitive cowardice and childish fear of the dark. If we were sensible we would seek death – the same blissful blank which we enjoyed before we existed.
** [[H. P. Lovecraft]], [http://www.hplovecraft.hu/print.php?type=etexts&amp;id=625&amp;lang=angol ''Nietzscheism and Realism''], 1921

* He teaches that people should refrain from marriage to oppose the prospering of the demiurge and creator through human procreation &quot;because matrimony,&quot; he says, &quot;is a source of prosperity for the demiurge, through human procreation.&quot;
** [[Epiphanius]], ''The Panarion of Ephiphanius of Salamis: Book I (sects 1-46)'', 1987
** Description: about Lucian of Sinope, disciple of Marcion of Sinope.

* What loss were ours, if we had know not birth?&lt;br /&gt;Let living me to longer life aspire,&lt;br /&gt;While fond affection binds their hearts to earth&lt;br /&gt;But who never hath tasted life's desire,&lt;br /&gt;Unborn, impersonal, can feel no dearth.
** [[Lucretius]], ''Treasures Of Lucretius: Selected Passages from the &quot;De Rerum Natura&quot;'', 1st century BC

==M==
* Not only does having a child really increase your carbon footprint, but we are living on an earth where there are a lot of organisms — human, non-human — that are in desperate need of care. And so, for me, if people want to care for children, for animals, whatever, there are cries for care everywhere. I'm asking us to reflect on this idea that we need to reproduce.
**[[Patricia MacCormack]], [https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/why-professor-climate-crisis-solution-rankling-twitter-155305526.html  Why this professor's climate-crisis solution is rankling Twitter: 'The worst thing you can do is have a child']. ''Yahoo!Life'', 2020.

* I had no children. I haven't transmitted the legacy of our misery to any creature.
** [[Joaquim Maria Machado de Assis]], ''The Posthumous Memoirs of Brás Cubas'', 1881
** Description: the words of the character, Brás Cubas.

* Redemption of the individual idea one represents, can be reached by not passing the core of this idea to the future. In other words: by not procreating. Who doesn't live on in his progeny, will be absolutely redeemed from existence.
** [[Philipp Mainländer]], [https://ia800608.us.archive.org/0/items/DiePhilosophieDerErlsung/DiePhilosophieDerErlsung.pdf ''Philosophie der Erlösung''], 1876

* And who is and should be a pessimist? He who is ''mature'' for death and is in no condition to love life, just as the optimist cannot turn away from it. If he does not realize that he will survive in his children, his procreation loses its ''horrible'' character; but if he realizes it, he will recoil in horror from it, just like Humboldt noticing that it is paying dearly for a few minutes of pleasure with the torments that ''another'' being must endure perhaps for eighty years, and consider the procreation of children as a ''crime'' and justly so.
** [[Philipp Mainländer]], Philosophie der Erlösung, Erster Band (2014), Metaphysik, § 21 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-1494963262}}&lt;/small&gt;

* The will must not only despise death, it must love it; for chastity is the love of death.
** [[Philipp Mainländer]], Philosophie der Erlösung, Erster Band (2014), Ethik, § 26 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-1494963262}}&lt;/small&gt;

* The man who has known clearly and distinctly that all life is suffering; that, whatever the way in which it may appear is essentially unhappy and full of pain (even in the ideal state), so that he, like the Christ Child on the arms of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sistine_Madonna Sistine Madonna], can only look into the world with eyes filled with horror, and who then contemplates the deep tranquility, the inexpressible happiness in aesthetic contemplation and, in contrast to the waking state, the happiness of dreamless sleep, whose elevation into eternity is only absolute death, - such a man has to be kindled by the advantage offered, - he cannot do otherwise. The thought of resuscitating in his unhappy children, that is, having to follow his way through the streets of existence, full of thorns and hard stones, without rest or repose, is, on the one hand, the most shocking and exasperating he can have; and, on the other hand, it must be the sweetest and most refreshing thought to be able to break the long course of the process, in which he was forced to walk by, with bloody feet, beaten, tormented and martyred, languishing in search of quietude. And once he is on the right track, the sexual instinct worries him less with every step, little by little becoming easier for his heart, until at last his inner being stands in the same joyfulness, blessed serenity and complete immobility as the true Christian saint. He feels in harmony with the movement of humanity from being into non-being, out of the agony of life into absolute death; he gladly enters into this movement of the whole, he acts eminently morally, and his reward is the undisturbed peace of heart, the &quot;calmness of the sea of the mind,&quot; the peace that is higher than all reason. And all this can take place without the belief in a unity in, above or beyond the world, without fear of a hell or hope for a kingdom of heaven after death, without any mystical intellectual view, without incomprehensible effect of grace, without contradiction with nature and our awareness of our own self: the only sources from which we can draw with certainty, - merely as a result of an unprejudiced, pure, cold realization of our reason, &quot;man's supreme power&quot;.
** [[Philipp Mainländer]], Philosophie der Erlösung, Erster Band (2014), Ethik, § 26 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-1494963262}}&lt;/small&gt;

* What is the ideal state? It will be the historical form that encompasses all mankind. However, we will not define this form in more detail, because it is quite a minor matter: the main thing is the citizen of the ideal state. He will be what individuals have been since the beginning of history: a thoroughly free man. He has completely outgrown the taskmaster of historical laws and forms and stands above the law, free from all political, economic and spiritual fetters. All external forms are fragmented: man is completely emancipated. All driving forces have gradually disappeared from the life of mankind: Power, property, fame, marriage; all emotional ties have gradually been torn: man is weary. His spirit now judges life correctly and his will is kindled by this judgment. Now the heart is filled with only one longing: to be blotted out forever from the great book of life. And the will reaches its goal: absolute death.
** [[Philipp Mainländer]], Philosophie der Erlösung, Erster Band (2014), Politik, § 47 &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-1494963262}}&lt;/small&gt;

* The ideal state would be the ultimate utopia, a socialistic paradise to which all efforts of humanity will finally lead. It will be a world without war, hunger and any sufferings beside the sufferings of birth, age and death. All sicknesses will be cured, and people will have lifes of joy with just a very small amount of work, because work will almost completely be deported to machines. So let's take a closer look on the citizens of that ideal state. Are they happy? They would be, if they wouldn't suffer from horrible boredom and an everlasting emptiness in their lifes now. If they even manage to live such a pointless life until natural death, they will not be willing to force new people into this mess by procreating. They have no hope left, because they know that they already reached the ideal state. Therefore, they will come to the conclusion that human life has to end or maybe even that all life has to end, because they finally realized that there is nothing to accomplish for sentience and that it would be better if they never had existed. This will be the point where the movement of humanity (or even the movement of all life on earth) will be fulfilled and the universe would now have to move on without (human) life on earth, to reach its own final goal, which is exactly the same: Turning into nothingness.
** [[Philipp Mainländer]], [https://ia800608.us.archive.org/0/items/DiePhilosophieDerErlsung/DiePhilosophieDerErlsung.pdf ''Philosophie der Erlösung''], 1876

* If anyone condemns human marriage and has a horror of the procreation of living bodies, as Manichaeus and Priscillian have said, let him be anathema.
** Bishops, the resolution of Council of Braga I, ''The companion to the Catechism of the Catholic Church: a compendium of texts referred to in the Catechism of the Catholic Church'', 561

* The practical conclusions from this cosmo-soteriologicalsystem are extremely clear-cut, all of them amounting to a rigorous asceticism. &quot;Since the ruin of the Hyle is decreed by God, one should abstain from all ensouled things and eat only vegetables and whatever else is non-sentient, and abstain from marriage, the delights of love and the begetting of children, so that the divine Power may not through the succession of generations remain longer in the Hyle.&quot; However, one must not, in order to help effect the purification of things, commit suicide.
** {{w|Hans Jonas}}, ''The Gnostic Religion. The Message of the Alien God and the Beginnings of Christiantty'', 1958
** Description: about Manichaeism.

* The Manichean attitude to marriage was entirely negative as the act of procreation prolongs the imprisonment of Soul, which would now be further diversified into matter.
** Iain Gardner &amp; Samuel N. C. Lieu, ''Manichaean Texts from the Roman Empire'', 2004

* None were admitted to baptism, or the Eucharist, unless they had taken an oath against having any children.
** {{w|Nathaniel Lardner}}, John Hogg, ''The Historie of the Heretics of the two First Centuries After Christ'', 1780
** Description: about Marcionites.

* Especially clear is the purpose of obstructing in the prohibition of sexual intercourse and marriage: &quot;Not wishing to help replenish the world made by the Demiurge, the Marcionites decreed abstention from matrimony, defying their creator and hastening to the Good One who has called them and who, they say, is God in a different sense: wherefore, wishing to leave nothing of their own down here, they turn abstemious not from a moral principle but from hostility to their maker and unwillingness to use his creation&quot; (Clem. Alex. he. cit.). Here the pollution by the flesh and its lust, so widespread a theme in this age, is not even mentioned; instead (though not to its exclusion: cf. Tertullian, op. cit. I. 19, where marriage is called a &quot;filthiness&quot; or &quot;obscenity&quot; [spurcitiae]) it is the aspect of reproduction which disqualifies sexuality that very aspect which in the eyes of the Church alone justifies it as its purpose under nature's dispensation. Marcion here voices a genuine and typical gnostic argument, whose fullest elaboration we shall meet in Mani: that the reproductive scheme is an ingenious archontic device for the indefinite retention of souls in the world. Thus Marcion's asceticism, unlike that of the Essenes or later of Christian monasticism, was not conceived to further the sanctification of human existence, but was essentially negative in conception and part of the gnostic revolt against the cosmos. 
** {{w|Hans Jonas}}, ''The Gnostic Religion. The Message of the Alien God and the Beginnings of Christiantty'', 1958

* In Marcion's view, all procreation only prolonged suffering as the new souls thus created were captured in a material prison.
** Piotr Ashwin-Siejkowski, ''Clement of Alexandria: A Project of Christian Perfection'', 2008

* God created only coarse beings, full of the germs of disease, who, after a few years of bestial enjoyment, grow old and infirm, with all the ugliness and all the want of power of human decrepitude. He seems to have made them only in order that they may reproduce their species in an ignoble manner and then die like ephemeral insects. I said reproduce their species in an ignoble manner and I adhere to that expression. What is there as a matter of fact more ignoble and more repugnant than that act of reproduction of living beings, against which all delicate minds always have revolted and always will revolt?
** [[Guy de Maupassant]], [http://www.classicshorts.com/stories/UselessBeauty.html ''Useless beauty''], 1890
** Description: the words of the character, Roger de Salins.

*&quot;What a hell! All her youth, all her beauty, every hope of success, every poetical ideal of a brilliant life sacrificed to that abominable law of reproduction which turns the normal woman into a mere machine for bringing children into the world.&quot;

&quot;What would you have? It is only Nature!&quot;

&quot;Yes, but I say that Nature is our enemy, that we must always fight against Nature, for she is continually bringing us back to an animal state. You may be sure that God has not put anything on this earth that is clean, pretty, elegant or accessory to our ideal; the human brain has done it. It is man who has introduced a little grace, beauty, unknown charm and mystery into creation by singing about it, interpreting it, by admiring it as a poet, idealizing it as an artist and by explaining it through science, doubtless making mistakes, but finding ingenious reasons, hidden grace and beauty, unknown charm and mystery in the various phenomena of Nature.&quot;
** [[Guy de Maupassant]], [http://www.classicshorts.com/stories/UselessBeauty.html ''Useless beauty''], 1890
** Description: the words of the character, Roger de Salins.

* But what if, as the first truly compassionate philosophical ethicist, it would then attempt to convince us that it was high time to peacefully terminate the ugly biological bootstrap-phase on this planet? 
** {{w|Thomas Metzinger}}, [https://www.edge.org/conversation/thomas_metzinger-benevolent-artificial-anti-natalism-baan ''Benevolent Artificial Anti-Natalism (BAAN)''], 2017
** Description: about artificial intelligence.

* Death is humiliation, because it tears us away from words, the sounds of music, configurations of line and colour, so from all that of which our anti-natural freedom manifests, and it gives us to the yoke of necessity, it sends us back to the realm of inertia, not culpable decay and not culpable birth.
** [[Czeslaw Milosz]], ''Widzenia nad Zatoką San Francisco'', 1969

* To not be, to not suffer&lt;br /&gt;To not inflict pain.&lt;br /&gt;Undo it all&lt;br /&gt;One existence,&lt;br /&gt;That neither tidings&lt;br /&gt; Nor souvenir&lt;br /&gt;Would stay after me.
** [[Czeslaw Milosz]], ''Nic'', 1976

* I tell myself: reluctance to think to the end&lt;br /&gt;Is lifesaving for the living. Could lucid consciousness&lt;br /&gt;Bear everything that in every minute,&lt;br /&gt;Simultaneously, occurs on the earth?&lt;br /&gt;Not to harm. Stop eating fish and meat.&lt;br /&gt;Let oneself be castrated, like Tiny, a cat innocent&lt;br /&gt;Of the drownings of kittens every day in our city.&lt;br /&gt;The Cathari were right: Avoid the sin of conception&lt;br /&gt;(For either you kill your seed and will be tormented by conscience&lt;br /&gt;Or you will be responsible for a life of pain).
** [[Czeslaw Milosz]], ''Spider'', 1991

* The two Taoists reminded Saihung that the critical thing in life was to die a spiritual death, to merge with the Void. In order to do so, one had to be free of the cycle of reincarnation. This meant absolutely no earthly ties. The important point was that having children automatically tied one to the circle of reincarnation. How could it be otherwise? By passing on one's metaphysical and physical genetics, one perpetuated one's earthly karma. This was why the sages had no biological children.
**{{w|Deng Ming-Dao}}, ''Seven Bamboo Tablets of the Cloudy Satchel'', 1987

* Programmed by nature and socialized by the collective, which demands conformity, we are required to play the &quot;game&quot; of life. But as one of Beckett's characters puts it, &quot;why this farce day after day?&quot; Where is all this leading to?
** Ramesh Mishra (under the pseudonym Ken Coates), ''Anti-Natalism: Rejectionist Philosophy from Buddhism to Benatar'', 2014

* Procreation imposes existence on beings who have not chosen to be born. It amounts to a form of enslavement or conscription which is an immoral act on two counts: violating the autonomy of a potential being, and exposing them to pain and suffering.
** Ramesh Mishra (under the pseudonym Ken Coates), ''Anti-Natalism: Rejectionist Philosophy from Buddhism to Benatar'', 2014

* There is no place to go, there is no reason to pass the baton forward and hope that a future new generation will achieve some shred of happiness that should have been the right of all who have lived. Repeating the famous phrase of Julius Caesar: I came, I saw, I conquered; there is nothing noteworthy for me in this universe, except its vast indifference, and the desire I have to struggle against its aims. I have some hope in myself, and in non-existence (if it is still possible to speak of hope!) Besides that, I do not wish to have anything to do with this despicable existence.
** Rafael Tages Melo, [https://archive.org/details/aultimafilosofia_20191026 A Última Filosofia: Um Ensaio sobre o Antinatalismo], 2011

* Parents generally cannot cope with the emptiness of existence; they cannot embrace the fact that life is a series of motivations related to survival, avoiding boredom, avoiding discomfort, etc. This basically involves reaching goals, and then becoming dissatisfied, pursuing other goals, and becoming dissatisfied again, and so on. Working, entertaining oneself, seeking things to kill time, dealing with the future, with illnesses, accumulating possessions and trifling occupations. And all this for what purpose? To become rich, to become someone important? Of course, people kill and die for these things, but then what? What does one do with these things in this brief time? Our intention here is not only to demotivate, but to truly inquire about why people all try to accumulate things, to be better than others, even committing crimes, eliminating the lives of others, if in a certain sense they are all united, they are all part of the same game, they are distant cousins, evolutionarily, and in the end, everyone is condemned to the same outcome, that is, pure and simple dissolution.
** Rafael Tages Melo, [https://archive.org/details/aultimafilosofia_20191026 A Última Filosofia: Um Ensaio sobre o Antinatalismo], 2011

==N==

* We may ask ourselves whether we have a moral right to create people and thus condemn them to life and death without their consent.
** Martin Neuffer, ''Nein zum Leben – Ein Essay''

==O==

* Not having children derives not from dislike, but from love too great to bring them into this world, too limited, too vain, too cruel.
** [[Michel Onfray]], ''Journal hedoniste: Tome 2, Les Vertus de la foudre'', 1998

* Should we feed this farce even more? Enrich this cruel theater, as if we were blind to the events unfolding on it? To want to be blind, to say it is innocent, to not think and obey the power of libido, all this to give us, in this way, the illusion of an effective fight against the constantly triumphant death?
** [[Michel Onfray]], ''Journal hedoniste: Tome 2, Les Vertus de la foudre'', 1998

* By hedonistic logic, we ought to avoid imposing anything, existence included, onto anyone who hasn't asked for it.
** [[Michel Onfray]], ''Theorie du corps amoureux'', 2000

* Is not the cruel will of adults, by causing birth, condemning children to work, discipline, obedience, submission, frustration in a nursery, primary school, middle school, high school, university or army, and then in a factory, in a workshop, in a company or in an office? Should we call love transmitting this vileness to the body from our own body?
** [[Michel Onfray]], ''Theorie du corps amoureux'', 2000

* Only someone who loves children the most can see them beyond the tip of their own nose and wonder about the consequences of signing death sentences on not yet existing beings.
** [[Michel Onfray]], ''Theorie du corps amoureux'', 2000

* Those childless by choice love children as much, if not more, than their fertile breeders. When asked why he does not have children, [[Thales of Miletus|Thales]] replied, &quot;because of my concern for children.&quot;
** [[Michel Onfray]], ''Théorie du corps amoureux'', 2000

* Why make children? In the name of what? To achieve what? What legitimizes pulling a being out of nothingness, disturbing its peace, only so that it would have to take a short walk on this planet, leading back to the nothingness from which it was pulled out?
** [[Michel Onfray]], ''La puissance d'exister. Manifeste hedoniste'', 2006

==P==
* Because of the present crisis, I think it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you committed to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you free of commitment? Do not look for a wife.
** [[Paul of Tarsus]], [[1 Corinthians]] 7:26 

* The perpetuation of suffering by producing children is the greatest crime.
** Valerii Pereleshin, ''Valerii Pereleshin: The Life of a Silkworm'', 2015

* The principle of caution, respecting the gravity of human suffering, weighs against procreating to the extent that it is unpredictable whether the person created will have a good life.
** Sarah Perry, ''Every Cradle Is a Grave: Rethinking the Ethics of Birth and Suicide'', 2014, p. 167

* Most people think it's morally acceptable to have babies. Most people think this despite the fact that the babies will certainly suffer a great deal during their lifetimes and may suffer an exceptional amount. Pronatalists generally want to point out the good things in life—the pleasant effects of puppies and sunsets—and to balance them against life's harms. But bringing a child into the world necessarily entails harming a stranger (for one doesn't know the values of one's child prior to procreation). It is no different from dosing a stranger with ecstasy for no reason, except that the harms of life massively exceed the harms of ecstasy, and the pleasure of life, for many, is much less.
** Sarah Perry, ''Every Cradle Is a Grave: Rethinking the Ethics of Birth and Suicide'', 2014, p. 194

* Whatever the case, it would have been better not to be born.
** [[Fernando Pessoa]], [http://arquivopessoa.net/textos/827 ''Passagem Das Horas''], 1916

* The most notorious of the groups that Epiphanius attacks were known by a variety of names, including the &quot;Phibionites&quot;. According to Epiphanius our sole source of information about the group these Gnostic believers engaged in nocturnal sex rituals that involved indiscriminate sex, coitus interruptus, and the consumption of semen and menstrual blood, all in a bizarre act of Christian worship (a sacred eucharist). Moreover, they allegedly possessed apostolic books that supported their outrageous rituals, including one known as the :Greater Questions of Mary: (Panarion 26.8). Epiphanius claims to have had access to this and the other Phibionite books. But this one he actually quotes. If the quotation does indeed go back to an actual document, as opposed to Epiphanius's fertile imagination, it is no wonder that the book never survived, as it recounts an episode in which Jesus himself engages in a sex act before a very bewildered Mary Magdalene. For the Gnostic Phibionites, this text, and their corresponding rituals, related to their doctrinal views that humans represent divine sparks entrapped in human bodies, which need to escape. Human procreation perpetuates this state of entrapment, by providing an endless supply of bodies.
** {{w|Bart D. Ehrman}}, Zlatko Plese, ''The Apocryphal Gospels: Texts and Translations'', 2011

* I think human consciousness, is a tragic misstep in evolution. We became too self-aware, nature created an aspect of nature separate from itself, we are creatures that should not exist by natural law. We are things that labor under the illusion of having a self, an accretion of sensory, experience and feeling, programmed with total assurance that we are each somebody, when in fact everybody is nobody. Maybe the honorable thing for our species to do is deny our programming, stop reproducing, walk hand in hand into extinction, one last midnight, brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal.
** {{w|Nic Pizzolatto}}, ''True Detective: The Long Bright Dark'', 2014
** Description: the words of the character, Rustin Cohle.

* The hubris it must take to yank a soul out of nonexistence, into this, meat. And to force a life into this, thresher.
** {{w|Nic Pizzolatto}}, ''True Detective: Seeing Things'', 2014
** Description: the words of the character, Rustin Cohle.

* The human body, as all other flesh, according to the Priscillianistic doctrine, came from the devil. . . . The same principles led them to disapprove of marriage, and of the procreation of children; and to forbid the eating of flesh.
** {{w|Johann Lorenz von Mosheim}}, ''Institutes of ecclesiastical history, ancient and modern: much corrected, enlarged and improved, from the primary authorities, Tome 1'', 1832

* From the moment an infant is tossed into this chamber of horrors, we can see, if we look closely, his horror and despair. The child cries incessantly, and is brutally trained to shut up and face its horrible fate. As the child grows into teenhood and reaches the age of reason, awareness (and anger) of his situation grows. It is usually countered by the criminal parents' inevitable distancing from the child, now declaring, &quot;I owe you nothing. I cannot field your anger.&quot; The anger, of course, is a perfectly natural and healthy response to the awareness that one has been tricked in the most monstrous way. The rest of its life is spent maintaining as much distance as possible from the terror of life, through meaningless activity and numbing addictive substances. &quot;From the time a person leaves its mother's womb, its every effort is directed toward building, maintaining and withdrawing into artificial wombs, various sorts of substitute protective devices or shells&quot;. Absurdity stacked upon absurdity, this creature, hiding from his own shadow, wanting more than anything to crawl back into the oblivion of the mother, is successfully duped into declaring that he loves life!
** Hermies Purrbuckets, [https://www.churchofeuthanasia.org/e-sermons/mansubgd.html ''Man's subliminal God''], 2001
** Description: the quotation on &quot;artificial wombs&quot; is from the book ''Secret Weapons for Quiet Wars''.

==R==

* A woman&lt;br /&gt;Parts of the body held together by joints&lt;br /&gt;Guts reinforced with hips&lt;br /&gt;Heart breathing through nipples&lt;br /&gt;A woman&lt;br /&gt;shreds of meat formed into sculptures&lt;br /&gt;Smooth and moist at the ends&lt;br /&gt;Sculptures that are soft and smelly&lt;br /&gt;A woman&lt;br /&gt;Belly and thighs separated by crotch&lt;br /&gt;Crotch with a breath of agony&lt;br /&gt;A woman is death&lt;br /&gt;Long and painful
** Kazimierz Ratoń, ''Poezje'', 2004, s. 199

* Pus is constantly leaking from the rotting brain&lt;br /&gt;The worms reproduce in thick streams along the body&lt;br /&gt;They enter the heart and lower parts of the body&lt;br /&gt;They suck the blood and fat covering the bones&lt;br /&gt;Terrible merciless worms bite genitals&lt;br /&gt;They run to a tightened throat and eyes&lt;br /&gt;They want to destroy you&lt;br /&gt;Crush the eyeballs and close the breath&lt;br /&gt;So that you will wheeze and splutter in convulsion&lt;br /&gt;So that you will not have time for anger and hatred&lt;br /&gt;So that you will not be able to defend yourself&lt;br /&gt;You will only whine quieter and quieter&lt;br /&gt;Until there is total asphyxiation&lt;br /&gt;Then they will be able to leave&lt;br /&gt;Tear another body&lt;br /&gt;Feed on pus from another brain&lt;br /&gt;You gave them life&lt;br /&gt;It is your rotting brain that has fathered them
** Kazimierz Ratoń, ''Poezje'', 2004, s. 212

* Propagating life is propagating terror.
** Mario Andrea Rigoni, ''Variazioni sull'impossibile'', 1993

* Of my conception I know only what you know of yours. It occurred in darkness and I was unconsenting. I (and that slenderest word is too gross for the rare thing I was then) walked forever through reachless oblivion, in the mood of one smelling night-blooming flowers, and suddenly—My ravishers left their traces in me, male and female, and over the months I rounded, grew heavy, until the scandal could no longer be concealed and oblivion expelled me. But this I have in common with all my kind. By some bleak alchemy what had been mere unbeing becomes death when life is mingled with it. So they seal the door against our returning.
**[[Marilynne Robinson]], ''Housekeeping'', 1980
** Description: the words of the character, Ruth.

* Adoption offers an important moral alternative to procreation, which has been widely ignored or quickly dismissed in the procreation literature. It should be considered by reasonable and moral people who desire to experience the goods of a parent-child relationship while being concerned about the potential harms of procreation.
** Tina Rulli, ''The Ethics of Procreation and Adoption'', 2016

==S==

* If ... we now contemplate the bustle and turmoil of life, we see everyone concerned with its cares and troubles, exerting all his strength to satisfy infinite needs and to ward off suffering in many forms, yet without daring to hope for anything else in place of it except just the preservation of this tormented existence for a short span of time. In between, however, we see in the midst of the tumult the glances of two lovers meet longingly: yet why so secretly, nervously, and furtively? Because these lovers are the traitors who secretly strive to perpetuate the whole trouble and toil that would otherwise rapidly come to an end. Such an end they try to frustrate, as others like them have frustrated it previously.
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], trans. E. F. J. Payne, ''The World as Will and Representation, Vol. 2'' (1966), CHAPTER XLIV - The Metaphysics of Sexual Love &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|9780486217628}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Life is then given out as a gift, whereas it is evident that anyone would have declined it with thanks, had he looked at it and tested it beforehand; just as Lessing admired the understanding of his son. Because this son had absolutely declined to come into the world, he had to be dragged forcibly into life by means of forceps; but hardly was he in it, when he again hurried away from it. On the other hand, it is well said that life should be, from one end to the other, only a lesson, to which, however, anyone could reply: “For this reason, I wish I had been left in the peace of the all-sufficient nothing, where I should have had no need either of lessons or of anything else.” But if it were added that one day he was to give an account of every hour of his life, he would rather be justified in first himself asking for an account as to why he was taken away from that peace and quiet and put into a position so precarious, obscure, anxious, and painful. To this, then, false fundamental views lead. Far from bearing the character of a gift, human existence has entirely the character of a contracted debt. The calling in of this debt appears in the shape of the urgent needs, tormenting desires, and endless misery brought about through that existence. As a rule, the whole lifetime is used for paying off this debt, yet in this way only the interest is cleared off. Repayment of the capital takes place through death. And when was this debt contracted? At the begetting.
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], trans. E. F. J. Payne, ''The World as Will and Representation, Vol. 2'' (1966), CHAPTER XLVI - On the Vanity and Suffering of Life &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|9780486217628}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Some of the church fathers have taught that even marital cohabitation should only be allowed when it occurs merely for the sake of the procreation of children. . . . Clemens (Strom, iii. c. 3) attributes this view to the Pythagoreans. This is, however, strictly speaking, incorrect. For if the coitus be no longer desired for its own sake, the negation of the Will-to-Live has already appeared, and the propagation of the human race is then superfluous and senseless, inasmuch as its purpose is already attained. Besides, without any subjective passion, without lust and physical pressure, with sheer deliberation, and the cold blooded purpose to place a human being in the world merely in order that he should be there this would be such a very questionable moral action that few would take it upon themselves; one might even say of it indeed that it stood in the same relation to generation from the mere sexual impulse as a cold-blooded deliberate murder does to a death-stroke given in anger.
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], ''Contributions to the Doctrine of the Affirmation and Negation of the Will-to-live'', 1851

* How shall a man be proud, when his conception is a crime, his birth a penalty, his life a labour, and death a necessity!
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], ''Parerga und paralipomena'', 1851

* The woman's share in procreation is more guiltless than the man's; for he bestows upon the child its will, which is the first sin, and therefore the root of all evil; the woman, on the contrary, bestows its intellect, which is the pathway to redemption.
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], ''Parerga und paralipomena'', 1851

* If children were brought into the world by an act of pure reason alone, would the human race continue to exist? Would not a man rather have so much compassion with the coming generation as to spare it the burden of existence, or at any rate not take it upon himself to impose that burden upon it in cold blood?
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], [https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/On_the_Sufferings_of_the_World ''On the Sufferings of the World''], 1862

* The End of the World, here's salvation. Preparing the end, here's the work of the sage and the supreme purpose of ascetic existences. The apostle of charity, with effort, alms, consolations and miracles, succeeds with great difficulty to save a family from death, now vowed to a long agony thanks to his benefits. The ascetic on the other hand, saves entire generations not from death, but from life.
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], [https://fr.wikisource.org/wiki/Un_Bouddhiste_contemporain_en_Allemagne,_Arthur_Schopenhauer ''Un Bouddhiste contemporain en Allemagne – Arthur Schopenhauer''], 1870

* I have no conscience, none, but I would not like to bring a soul into this world. When it sinned and when it suffered something like a dead hand would fall on me – &quot;You did it, you, for your own pleasure you created this thing! See your work!&quot;
** [[Olive Schreiner]], [http://www.gutenberg.org/files/1441/1441-h/1441-h.htm ''The Story of an African Farm'']
** Description: the words of the character, Lyndall.

* Unfortunately, in our real world, large numbers of children grow up to be victims, perpetrators, or bystanders. Very few children actually grow up to make the world a better place. Personally, I don't feel that creating new victims, perpetrators, and bystanders is the great social ooh-and-aah that it is made out to be. I do understand that people want to have children for reasons personal to their own needs, not necessarily for the child or for the world, and perhaps that's reason enough, but I don't know why.
**[[Sarah Schulman]], ''The Gentrification of the Mind: Witness to a Lost Imagination'', 2012

* Do you want to know how it is not a great benefit to give life like this? You could have exposed me; clearly it was an injustice to have begat me!
** [[Lucius Annaeus Seneca]], ''De Beneficis'', in: Liz Gloyn, ''The Ethics of the Family in Seneca'', 2017, 59 BC 

* Nothing is so deceptive, nothing is so treacherous as human life; by Hercules, were it not given to men before they could form an opinion, no one would take it. Not to be born, therefore, is the happiest lot of all.
** [[Lucius Annaeus Seneca]], [https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Of_Consolation:_To_Marcia ''Consolation to Marcia''], 40 BC

* Thus, four factors make the appeal to hypothetical consent problematic: (1) the fact that great harm is not at stake if no action is taken; (2) but if action is taken, the harms suffered may be very severe; (3) the imposed condition cannot be escaped without high costs; and (4) the hypothetical consent procedure is not based on features of the individual who will bear the imposed condition. 
** {{w|Seana Shiffrin}}, [https://jwcwolf.public.iastate.edu/Papers/Shiffrin%20Wrongful%20life%20procreative%20responsibility%20and%20the%20significance%20of%20harm.pdf ''Wrongful Life, Procreative Responsibility, and the Significance of Harm''], 1999

* However one need not believe that coming into existence is always an overall harm in order to favour an anti-natal perspective; one need only believe that it is morally problematic to inflict serious, preventable harms upon others without their consent.
** Asheel Singh, [https://ujcontent.uj.ac.za/vital/access/services/Download/uj:7429/CONTENT1?view=true ''Assessing anti-natalism: a philosophical examination of the morality of procreation''], 2012

* &quot;Your right to swing your arms ends just where the other man's nose begins.&quot; (Zechariah Chafee)
** Martin Smith, [https://theselfishparent.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/nbnc4_4.pdf ''No Baby No Cry: Christian Antinatalism''], p. 6

* If you are having difficulty making the connection between real world outcomes and your desire to have children, try looking at the world in a new way. When there are job losses at work, imagine that happening to the child you are so set on having. The ugly divorce is someone's child, both of them. The newscaster announcing a rape, that's someone's baby, both the perpetrator and the victim. The car accident you just drove past, the toilet cleaner on minimum wage, the man in the hospital ward dying of cancer, the casket being lowered into the ground. If I were to provide an exhaustive list it would fill the whole book, but I would rather you made your own - play this game for a week and it will break your rose tinted spectacles – it's not happy but it is honest.
** Martin Smith, [https://theselfishparent.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/nbnc4_4.pdf ''No Baby No Cry: Christian Antinatalism''], p. 12

* By creating a life we subject that person to the harms of life. People will be hurt, some very badly. It seems to me that the only reason for creating lives is to fulfil psychological (and sometimes material) needs of the parents (and to some degree other relatives). It would take libraries to list the gamut of possible harms, ranging from genetic recombination errors at conception, to the last gasp of the dying. We deploy an array of mental gymnastics to avoid the implications of this truth, yet deep down we all know it at some level. Contrary to the norms of our society the arrival of a child should be a time for sober reflection not cause for celebration. I will not congratulate people on gambling someone else's welfare in the hopes of improving their own lives. I suspect most people reading this will hold that their own needs are a good enough reason to have children. If that is you, then I ask you at least acknowledge the self centred nature of the choice, and perhaps when your children are old enough you can explain why you took a flutter on life's roulette wheel.
** Martin Smith, [https://theselfishparent.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/nbnc4_4.pdf ''No Baby No Cry: Christian Antinatalism''], p. 19

* If you hold eternal damnation, then having children is a very grave business indeed. You are gambling with infinite stakes.
** Martin Smith, [https://theselfishparent.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/nbnc4_4.pdf ''No Baby No Cry: Christian Antinatalism''], p. 31
** Description: eternal damnation in the main currents of Christianity is the punishment for sinners consisting of going to hell and suffering torments forever.

* I've never regretted not having children. My mindset in that regard has been constant. I objected to being born, and I refuse to impose life on someone else.
** [[Robert Smith (musician)|Robert Smith]], [https://www.theguardian.com/music/2011/sep/10/robert-smith-the-cure-bestival ''The Cure's Robert Smith: 'I'm uncomfortable with politicised musicians'''], 2011

*  Not to be born at all&lt;br /&gt;Is best, far best that can befall,&lt;br /&gt;Next best, when born, with least delay&lt;br /&gt;To trace the backward way.&lt;br /&gt;For when youth passes with its giddy train,&lt;br /&gt;Troubles on troubles follow, toils on toils,&lt;br /&gt;Pain, pain for ever pain;&lt;br /&gt;And none escapes life's coils.&lt;br /&gt;Envy, sedition, strife,&lt;br /&gt;Carnage and war, make up the tale of life.&lt;br /&gt;Last comes the worst and most abhorred stage&lt;br /&gt;Of unregarded age,&lt;br /&gt;Joyless, companionless and slow,&lt;br /&gt;Of woes the crowning woe.
** [[Sophocles]], [https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Oedipus_at_Colonus_(Storr) ''Oedipus at Colonus''], 406 BC
** Description: the words of the collective character, the chorus.

* &quot;Be fruitful and multiply&quot; is a recommendation that fits more into the God of rabbits than to God of humans. No offense to rabbits, of course.
** Giovanni Soriano, ''Finche c'e vita non c'e speranza'', 2010

* Creation is an act far more authoritarian than killing; and just as one should not take someone else's life, one should also not impose life on someone else.
** Giovanni Soriano, ''Malomondo. In lode della stupidita'', 2013

* Pain, harm, suffering, uncertainty, and death are inseparable from human life. May one impose such evils upon an innocent, who has not consented to be placed in a situation that carries any kind of risk? Is procreation really as &quot;straightforward&quot; and &quot;morally innocent&quot; an activity as custom typically makes it out to be? 
** Pikesh Srivastava, ''Glimpses of Truth: Morality, Karma, Procreation'', 2017, p. 332

*&quot;Life is beautiful. I love it. So what if it comes with harms? Learn to live life to the fullest and don't wallow in the bad parts. The best parts of life outweigh the bad.&quot; Allow me to draw a parallel. &quot;Smoking cigarettes is enjoyable. I love it. So what if it comes with harms? Win some, lose some. The pleasure far outweighs the harm it causes.&quot; Though one is entitled to hold such views, it does nothing to alter the truth: smoking is injurious to health; all in all, a harmful habit best avoided. You may enjoy smoking, and think it worth all the risks that accompany it, but do you have a right to force such a habit on another? In creating a child, one is doing just that – forcing life on another, without their consent, unmindful of the harms they are subjecting them to. And let the reader not forget – the risks that accompany smoking are a picnic compared to the countless harms life exposes us to.
** Pikesh Srivastava, ''Glimpses of Truth: Morality, Karma, Procreation'', 2017, pp. 369–370

* An ancient legend recounts how King Midas hunted long in the forest for the wise Silenus, companion of Dionysos, but failed to catch him. When Silenus has finally fallen into his hands, the King asks what the best and most excellent thing for human beings. Stiff and unmoving, the daemon remains silent until, forced by the King to speak, he finally breaks out in shrill laughter and says: &quot;wretched, ephemeral race, children of chance and tribulation, why do you force me to tell you the very thing which it would be most profitable for you not to hear? The very best thing is utterly beyond your reach: not to have been born, not to be, to be nothing. However, the second best thing for you is: to die soon&quot;.
** [[Friedrich Nietzsche]], ''The Birth of Tragedy'', 1872

* I am thirty-six years old.&lt;br /&gt;What am I waiting for?&lt;br /&gt;Probably for death.&lt;br /&gt;My past is as intense&lt;br /&gt;as my future empty and orphaned.&lt;br /&gt;And I will soon be a corpse –&lt;br /&gt;I am a madman; I have been working on it&lt;br /&gt;since I was dragged out of&lt;br /&gt;my mother.&lt;br /&gt;I know about it for a long time&lt;br /&gt;and I want this, unfortunately, I think so.&lt;br /&gt;Because I already have enough. I say –&lt;br /&gt;you know.&lt;br /&gt;The earth will deliver&lt;br /&gt;those who had doubts about the existence&lt;br /&gt;who never gave birth and never killed.
** Domokos Szilágyi, [http://mek.oszk.hu/02900/02916/02916.pdf ''1974'']

* Creating new persons exposes them to non-trivial harms. While in other cases harming in this non-trivial fashion might be justified if it is in the service of saving persons from even greater harms, procreators cannot appeal to this possibility. Procreation cannot sensibly be viewed as the act of saving non-existing persons from (greater) harm. Rather, on Shiffrin’s account, procreation can be viewed, at best, as the morally problematic exposure to non-trivial harms in order to offer uninvited and non-essential benefits (that is, &quot;pure benefits&quot;) to the person created; at worst, it can be viewed as the morally impermissible imposition of serious, protracted harms upon a patient that are not toward the alleviation of greater harms. Further, and most crucially, children do not have the opportunity to offer their consent to encounter the harms of existence in order to receive the benefits, which entails that it is wrong to procreate.
** Asheel Singh, [https://www.researchgate.net/publication/328847972_The_Hypothetical_Consent_Objection_to_Anti-Natalism The Hypothetical Consent Objection to Anti-Natalism], 2018

* Procreators arguably cannot rely on subjective hypothetical consent when deciding on the permissibility of bringing people into existence. Non-existers cannot be said to have preferences—let alone unique, individual preferences! Shiffrin consistently maintains that the unique features of the individual being created cannot be taken into account by parents. It therefore appears as though she thinks parents consider their unborn children generically—which is to say, as things of the same sort. But the pro-natal paternalist could argue that matters are not this simple. He could say that, insofar as they can, parents often, and always ought to, consider the unique circumstances of the lives into which they will bring their children. This line of reasoning appeals to the view that parents often have a pretty good idea of what kinds of lives their children can expect to enjoy. Prospective parents can construct a relatively reliable picture of sorts from their shared genetic history, their socio-economic situation, etc., and can be reasonably sure regarding what their children would prefer. On this line of reasoning, therefore, it is not quite accurate to say that prospective parents consider their potential offspring generically; rather, they consider their offspring, insofar as they can, as unique products of their (the parents’) unique circumstances. But I am not convinced that this objection holds much weight. Consider the fact that siblings often have very different preferences. Further, also consider that children very often fail to live up to their parents’expectations. Finally, though Shiffrin (so far as I can tell) thinks this is rare, children might not have a subjective preference for existence—and it may be begging the question against the anti-natalist to assert that children ought to have this as an objective preference. (Consider here the problem of suicide.) And so, it does not look as though procreation can be justified via appeals to subjective hypothetical consent.
** Asheel Singh, [https://www.researchgate.net/publication/328847972_The_Hypothetical_Consent_Objection_to_Anti-Natalism The Hypothetical Consent Objection to Anti-Natalism], 2018

==T==

* A certain person inveighs against generation, calling it corruptible and destructive; and some one does violence [to Scripture], applying to procreation the Saviour's words, &quot;Lay not up treasure on earth, where moth and rust corrupt&quot;; and he is not ashamed to add to these the words of the prophet: &quot;You all shall grow old as garment, and the moth shall devour you.&quot;
** [[Clement of Alexandria]], ''Stromata''
** Description: about [[Tatian the Assyrian]].

* Best of all for mortal beings is never to have been born at all. Nor ever to have set eyes on the bright light of the sun.
** [[Theognis of Megara]], ''Greek Elegiac Poetry''

* [Nature] turns us out into the world without giving us any choice in the matter; though all other suffrages and freedoms are perfectly insignificant in comparison with that of which we are thus deprived, an effective and enlightened vote on the question: Shall I, or shall I not, be born?
** [[James Thomson (B.V.)]], &quot;The Speedy Extinction of Evil and Misery&quot;, part II, ''[[iarchive:essaysandphanta00thomgoog/|Essays and Phantasies]]'' (1881), p. 62

* But even if we suppose the Christian ideal of perfect chastity realized, what then? We should merely find ourselves face to face on the one hand with the familiar teaching of religion, one of whose dogmas is that the world will have an end; and on the other of so-called science, which informs us that the sun is gradually losing its heat, the result of which will in time be the extinction of the human race.
** [[Leo Tolstoy]], ''Lesson Of The &quot;The Kreutzer Sonata&quot;'', 1889

* If we can't genetically fix our nature I agree with Zapffe. To leave world to a deserted behind is better than to continue this grotesque carousel of procreation.
** {{w|Herman Tønnessen}}, ''Ned med naturen!'', 1984
** Description: also about transhumanism.

==V==

* Heaven and happiness do not exist. That's your parents' way to justify the crime of having brought you into this world. What exists is reality, the tough reality, this slaughterhouse we've come to die in, if not to kill and to eat the animals, our fellow creatures. Therefore, do not reproduce, do not repeat the crimes committed against you, do not give back the same, evil paid with evil, as imposing life is the ultimate crime. Do not disturb the unborn, let them be in the peace of nothingness, anyway we'll all eventually go back there, so why beat around the bush?
** {{w|Fernando Vallejo}}, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-e69sP9HMI ''La desazón suprema: Retrato de Fernando Vallejo''], 2003, 1:30–2:17 min.

* Those I've most loved are my grandma Raquel Pizano and my dog Bruja. I also loved my dad. But after all, he is guilty of imposing on me the burden of life. Life's a burden, it's a curse. Those who I loved, now dead, drag me to the grave. It's very hard to carry on without them. The only way I can live is by forgetting them.
** {{w|Fernando Vallejo}}, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-e69sP9HMI ''La desazón suprema: Retrato de Fernando Vallejo''], 2003, 8:20–8:37 min.

* All this disgrace derive from being born, which therefore is the greatest of all catastrophes.
** Anacleto Verrecchia, ''Diario del Gran Paradiso'', 1997

* Adoption could help if practised on a much larger scale than nowadays, such that any child not definitely wanted by its parents, or born in unfavourable social circumstances, could be adopted by people who want children but do not want to create them for that purpose.
** {{w|Hermann Vetter}}, ''The production of children as a problem of utilitarian ethics'', 1969

* In any case, it is morally preferable not to produce a child. This requires that in any individual encounter, and by any institutional activity in education, mass media, economic and legal policy, people should be discouraged from having children. If such tendencies are successful enough, the number of men on earth may begin to decrease, and if such development continues long enough, the human race will disappear. This, however, would not at all be a deplorable consequence according to Narveson's and my own opinion: the existence of mankind is not a value in itself. On the contrary, if mankind ceases to exist, all suffering is extinguished perfectly, which no other human endeavour will be able to bring about. On the other hand, of course, all happy experiences of men will disappear. But this, according to Narveson's conclusion, would not be deplorable, because no human subject would exist which would be deprived of the happy experiences.
** {{w|Hermann Vetter}}, ''Utilitarianism and New Generations'', 1971

*All conditions and all circumstances seem equally unfortunate to me, from the angel to the oyster. The grievous thing is to be born.
**[[Marie Anne de Vichy-Chamrond, marquise du Deffand]], letter to [[Voltaire]], 1759

* If humanity is to minimize suffering in the future, it must engage with the world, not opt out of it.
** [[Magnus Vinding]], [https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/543094 ''Anti-Natalism and the Future of Suffering: Why Negative Utilitarians Should Not Aim For Extinction''], 2015

* We cannot allow ourselves to spuriously rationalize away the suffering that takes place in nature, and to forget the victims of the horrors of nature merely because that reality does not fit into our convenient moral theories, theories that ultimately just serve to make us feel consistent and good about ourselves in the face of an incomprehensibly bad reality.
** [[Magnus Vinding]], [https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/624122 ''The Speciesism of Leaving Nature Alone, and the Theoretical Case for &quot;Wildlife Anti-Natalism&quot;''], 2016

* Life has so few charms!&lt;br /&gt;And yet we desire it.&lt;br /&gt;No more pleasure, no more power,&lt;br /&gt;in the horrors of death.&lt;br /&gt;A dead lion is not worth&lt;br /&gt;a midge that breathes.&lt;br /&gt; O unfortunate mortal!&lt;br /&gt;Whether your soul is enjoying&lt;br /&gt;the moment given to you,&lt;br /&gt;or whether death is ending it,&lt;br /&gt;both are torture.&lt;br /&gt;It is better not to have been born. 
** [[Voltaire]], [http://www.monsieurdevoltaire.com/2014/08/poeme-precis-de-l-ecclesiaste.html ''Précis of Ecclesiastes''], 1760

==W==

* Every form of fecundity is loathsome, and no one who is honest with himself feels bound to provide for the continuity of the human race. And what we do not realise to be a duty, is not a duty. On the contrary, it is immoral to procreate a human being for any secondary reason, to bring a being into the limitations of humanity, the conditions made for him by his parentage; the fundamental question why the possible freedom and spontaneity of a human being is limited is that he was begotten in such a limited fashion. That the human race should persist is of no interest whatsoever to reason; he who would perpetuate humanity would perpetuate the problem and the guilt; the only problem and the only guilt.
** [[Otto Weininger]], ''Sex &amp; Character''

* Not being born is the first step to happiness. If someone by unhappy accident is here on Earth, one thing should comfort them; they will return to the original state.
** Maria Wisnowska, ''Maria Wisnowska. Jeśli mnie kochasz – zabij!'', 2003

* One cannot bring children into a world like this. One cannot perpetuate suffering, or increase the breed of these lustful animals, who have no lasting emotions, but only whims and vanities, eddying them now this way, now that.
** [[Virginia Woolf]], ''Mrs Dalloway'', 1925
** Description: the words of the character, Septimus Warren Smith.

==Y==

* Simply put, upon a nihilistic basis, I deeply believe that making children is nothing but a hopeless action. This thought can not possibly be removed, and I no longer care to remove it. In terms of pleasure, humans are unpredictable when they will drown in it, and for this reason, one should not create children to avoid getting them entangled in the mess. Children are, horrifyingly, just thrown out into this world as a result of egoistical adults who craves pleasure, with the child's life having attributed meaning afterwards so arbitrarily.
** Naoki Yanase, ''翻訳からの回路'', 1984

==Z==

* The sign of doom is written on your brows – how long will ye kick against the pinpricks? But there is one conquest and one crown, one redemption and one solution. Know yourselves – be infertile and let the earth be silent after ye.
** [[Peter Wessel Zapffe]], [https://philosophynow.org/issues/45/The_Last_Messiah ''The Last Messiah''], 1933

* No future triumph or metamorphosis can justify the pitiful blighting of a human being against his will.
** [[Peter Wessel Zapffe]], ''The Conspiracy Against The Human Race: A Contrivance Of Horror'', 1958

* Above all, we must make the reproductive question ethically relevant. A coin is turned around before it is handed to the beggar, yet a child is unflinchingly tossed into cosmic bruteness. 
** [[Peter Wessel Zapffe]], ''Essays og epistler'', 1967

* You got me. But my son you will not get. You were committing a fateful mistake when assigning even procreation to my will. And you did not do this out of love..., but rather to burden me with the heaviest of all responsibilities...: Am I to perpetuate this species or not? And from now on I will ask no longer what you want; rather you shall ask what I want. And I will no longer offer further sacrifices to the God of life. I will punish you with the ability you bequeathed to me in order to torment me; I will turn my clairvoyance against you and thus bereaving you of your victims. And the abused millions will stand behind me like a plough... And evermore will two people create one human being... Thus you will feel your powerlessness begging me on your bloody knees.
** [[Peter Wessel Zapffe]], ''Om Det Tragiske'', 1983

* Mankind ought to end its existence of its own will.
** [[Peter Wessel Zapffe]], ''Hva det betyr at vaere menneske'', 1990 

* To bear children into this world is like carrying wood into a burning house.
** [[Peter Wessel Zapffe]], ''Reflekser i trylleglass: stemmer fra vårt århundre'', 1998

* For me, a desert island is no tragedy, neither is a deserted planet.
** [[Peter Wessel Zapffe]], ''Philosophical Dialogues'', 1999
*Because I do not want to commit the crime of giving life to beings who later may be unhappy and curse the moment of their birth.
**{{w|Gabriela Zapolska}}, ''Fin-de siecle'istka'', 1894
**Description: the words by the character, Helena. Her answer to the question why she will not have children. She later changes her mind and has a child.

==See also==
* [[Birth]]
* [[Birth control]]
* [[Philosophical pessimism]]

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
[[Category:Antinatalism]]
[[Category:Ethics]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>WCW Monday Nitro</title>
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      <comment>/* September 1 */</comment>
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      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="76136" xml:space="preserve">[[w:WCW Monday Nitro|WCW Monday Nitro]] was a professional wrestling program that aired on TNT Monday nights from September 4th, 1995 to March 26 2001.

== 1995 ==
=== September 4 ===
:''[Recent ex-WWF talent Lex Luger shows up at the beginning of the Sting/Ric Flair matchup.]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': ''[notices Lex]'' Oooh, what in the hell is he doing here?! Get the camera off of him!
:'''Steve &quot;Mongo&quot; McMichael''': What is this?
:'''Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan''': Wait a minute. He's got a right to be here, this is a [[w:Mall of America|public mall]].
:'''Eric''': Get him out of here!
:'''Steve''': Somebody call the security guards!
:'''Eric''': ''[as the crowd starts chanting &quot;Luger! Luger!&quot;]'' What?! Get the security and get him out of here!
:'''Bobby''': What's he doing wrong? What is he doing wrong?
:'''Steve''': This is just unabashed arrogance.
:'''Eric''': We have a major problem here.
:'''Bobby''': We have a situation starting here. A big one.
:'''Eric''': I want to know what he's doing here.
:'''Bobby''': Well don't ask me! Get on the headsets to the truck, ask somebody.

=== December 18 ===
:''[Madusa makes her way to the announce booth at the start of the show.]''
:'''Madusa''': All right. Can it everyone! ''[to Mongo]'' You too bad dog! I am Madusa, always have been Madusa and always will be Madusa. This is the WWF Women's Championship belt.
:'''Eric''': Whoa... Whoa! Wait a minute. ''[sees Madusa pick up a trash can and dump the belt in it]'' What? Look...that indeed it is!
:'''Steve''': ''[as Madusa does the act]'' Not in the trash can!
:'''Madusa''': And that's what I think of the WWF Women's Championship belt. This is the WCW, I am now in the WCW and they used to call me Alundra Blayze. But not anymore because this is where the big boys play and now this is where the big girls play! ''[dumps mic in the trash can as well]''
:'''Eric''': Holy smokes! Madusa, the WWF Women's Championship and the belt right here on Nitro. The belt in the trash can and I tell you what, I'm in shock! Wow!
:'''Steve''': Oh she got covered, she just got sucked up on that one in Connecticut, didn't she?
:'''Eric''': I'll tell you what...
:'''Bobby''': What a doll.

== 1996 ==
=== May 27 ===
:'''Tony Schiavone''': Welcome back live to the first hour of this edition of ''WCW Monday Nitro'' on TNT! Tony Schiavone and Larry Zbyszko. And we are taking a look at the Mauler completely maul his opponent Steve Doll.
:'''Larry Zbyszko''': Well you know, Steve Doll's trying to get an offensive going.
:'''Tony''': ''[notices the crowd suddenly standing up for a [[w:Scott Hall|large man]] who just came in through the audience]'' Wait a minute! What the hell is going on here?
:'''Larry''': But the Mauler, well he just got reversed right there. The Mauler runs him down.
:'''Tony''': That's not what I'm talking about.
:'''Larry''': What are you talking about?!
:''[The man, Scott Hall, leaps over the railing]''
:'''Tony''': Look here.
:'''Larry''': Well, what the hell?
:'''Scott Hall''': Get me a mic!
:'''Larry''': What's with this?
:'''Tony''': We need security out here. I have no idea, wait a minute! I can't believe what we're seeing.
:'''Hall''': ''[climbing into the ring]'' Hey, you people, you know who I am, but you don't know why I'm here. Where is Billionaire Ted? Where is the Nacho Man? That punk can't even get in the building. Me, I go wherever I want, whenever I want. And where, oh where is Scheme Gene? 'Cause I've got a scoop for you. When that Ken-doll lookalike, when that weatherman wannabe comes out here later tonight, I got a challenge for him, for Billionaire Ted, for the Nacho Man and for anybody else in uh...WCW, huh-huh-huh. Hey, you want to go to war? You want a war? You're gonna get one! ''[leaves]''
:'''Tony''': Fans, what about the match? I don't know what to say. Randy Anderson's coming-- Randy. Randy, what's going on here? What about the match, Randy? What's going on? The match. Fans, we've gotta go to a break.
:'''Larry''': The match left!
:'''Tony''': I have no idea what to say. Stay with us. Geez.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Scott Hall''': Hey, lookie here.
:'''Eric Bischoff''': You wanted to say some-
:'''Hall''': ''[as Eric talks]'' Ken doll, you got such a big mouth and we, we are sick of it.
:'''Eric''': What do you mean? Who's we?
:'''Hall''': You know who. This is where the &quot;big boys play&quot;? What a joke! I tell you what, you go tell Billionaire Ted, you tell him, &quot;Get three of his very very best.&quot; Maybe the Nacho Man! &quot;Oooooooh....No.&quot; Hey, maybe he can get the Stinger! Ooooh, I'm so scared. You go get anybody you want because we...
:'''Eric''': Who do you mean &quot;We&quot;?
:'''Hall''': We are taking over. You wanna go to war? You wanna war? You got one. Only, only let's do it right. In the ring where it matters. Not in no microphones. Not in no newspapers or dirtsheets. Let's do it in the ring where it matters. If uh, if Billionaire Ted and his big boys, if they got any, uh guts...
:'''Eric''': You're stepping over the line.
:'''Hall''': Because we are coming down here and like it or not, 
:'''Eric''': Not.
:'''Hall''': We are taking over. ''[throws his toothpick at Eric.]''
:'''Eric''': ''[calmly]'' You're outta here.
:'''Hall''': If you say so!
:'''Eric''': You're outta here. ''[visibly shaken, looks at Heenan, then recomposes]'' I don't know what to say. We'll see you next week.

===June 3===
:''[Scott Hall appears again at the announce booth]''
:'''Scott Hall''': Just relax ''chico''. Yo, Ken Doll, I had such a good time last week that I came back for more.
:'''Eric''': Look there's no reason...
:'''Scott Hall''': Look, look, look, relax man, relax. You started it. You want to go to war? You got a war. You started it, we gonna finish it.
:'''Eric''': What do you mean &quot;We&quot;? You come up with this We stuff.
:'''Scott Hall''': You know who man. You know who. Did Daddy Warbucks? Did he get his money yet?
:'''Eric''': ''[sees [[w:Steve Borden|Sting]] come out]'' Wait a minute, Stinger. Not here, not now. Don't even dignify it man.
:'''Sting''': You came out here last week and said some real horrible things about WCW. Some real horrible things about the Hulkster, about the Macho Man, about the Stinger. Somewhere along the way, you got lost because do you have any idea where you are? You're in the jungle baby! This is WCW! That's right! Hold on! And every week you come out here and you say you want three of the best.
:'''Scott Hall''': That's right man, three of the best.
:'''Sting''': You want three of the best, I don't see two of you. All I see is you and me. So why don't we just do this one on one right here, right now!
:'''Scott Hall''': Yo, yo, you wanna fight man? You wanna fight? You got one. Only, no one tells me what to do and ''chico'', nobody tells me when to do it. ''[throws his toothpick at Sting. Sting responds by slapping Hall]'' Ok, ok tough guy. I got a little, no, I got big surprise for you next week.

=== June 10===
:''[Scott Hall shows up again]''
:'''Eric''': Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I don't want any trouble from you. I don't want any trouble with you here, now, but I don't have to point out. You came out here last week. Where is it, the big surprise? I mean I heard a lot of talk but where's the walk? ''[Hall points behind Eric]'' What? Where is he?
:''[Kevin Nash, formerly known as Diesel in the WWF, appears from behind and grabs the mike]''
:'''Kevin Nash''': You've been sitting out here for six months running your mouth. This is where the big boys play, huh? Look at the adjective, play [''sic'']. We ain't here to play! Now, he ''[referring to Hall]'' said last week that he was going to bring somebody out here. I'm here. You still don't have your three people and do you know why? Because nobody wants to face us. This show's about as interesting as [[w:Marge Schott|Marge Schott]] reading excerpts from ''[[Mein Kampf]]''.
:'''Eric''': No trouble tonight, man. Speak your piece and...
:'''Nash''': Yeah, no trouble cause you know, I'll kick your teeth down your throat. Where are these three guys? You know you couldn't get a paleontologist to get these fossils cleared? You ain't got enough guys off a dialysis machine to get a team? Yeah, where's [[w:Hulk Hogan|Hogan]]? Where's Hogan? Out doing another episode of ''[[w:Thunder in Paradise|Blunder in Paradise]]''? Where's the Macho Man huh? Doing some Slim Jim commercial? Hey, we're here! You wanna say something?
:'''Eric''': Look, I don't have the authority right here right now. You want a fight? Fight isn't within me. You want to face three guys? Tomorrow morning at 9:00, I'm going to be in Atlanta. I'll be in the offices of WCW. I'll try and get you your fight and do you know what? Live this Sunday in Baltimore, Great American Bash, you guys want to show up? You want a fight? You show up and I'll see if I can get you your fight.
:'''Nash''': I don't know about you but they love us in Baltimore.
:'''Scott Hall''': Hey big man, I say me and you, we be at the Bash. Maybe these punks want a fight.
:'''Nash''': Yeah, bring what you got! The measuring stick just changed around here buddy. You're looking at it. ''[Tosses Bischoff around before he and Hall leave]''

===July 8===
:'''Mean Gene Okerlund''': Sting, a very somber mood tonight. I can't believe it. I can feel it, you can feel it. These people continue to make our lives very very tenuous. They did it again tonight right in the middle of your match with Arn Anderson. But lets go back to last night. What's your sense of what's happened at the ''Bash at the Beach''?
:'''Sting''': I am not at all surprised. What happened last night, I'm not surprised about coming from the two outsiders. But I will say I'm very very surprised at you Hulk Hogan. But I should've known. I should've known that when you were traveling to every town in that big fat limo. I should've known because you didn't want to travel with the Macho Man, the Total Package and the Stinger. Uhn-uhn, you were too busy making big movies and coming in for a little cameo appearance! You were too busy walking on the dark side! I should've known when you referred to the Macho Man, the Total Package and me as &quot;three little dogs&quot; waiting for a chance to wrestle the great Hulk Hogan. I should've known when I looked into your eyes. Do you know something, I made a mistake. But you made a bigger mistake because last night, you wiped out and trashed every single little kid, every single person that was a part of your life, that patterned their life after you! You told them to believe in the man upstairs! You told them to say their prayers and to take their vitamins! You told them to believe in themselves and you know something? It's a good thing you told them to believe in themselves because they sure as heck can't believe in you!
:'''Mean Gene''': By the way--
:'''Sting''': ''[grabs mike]'' And last but not least, to put the cherry on the top, all those little kids, you told them to stick it! No, you stick it Hulk! YOU STICK IT!
:'''Mean Gene''': That is very strong. By the way, as fate would have it, these two men and their partner last night. Lex Luger got knocked out early by the action so the two of you had to go at it against the Outsiders. But Macho Man Randy Savage, you were very close with Hulk Hogan as I was. You were part of the Mega Powers. And if anybody got it stuck up, stuck up, well, stuck to him, you really got it stuck to you.
:'''Randy Savage''': I got a message for Hollywood Hogan. What I want to tell you and what I want to do to you, I can't say here on television especially at Disney. But you take the worst thing you can think about and you multiply it by the number nine million and then you multiply it by infinity and beyond, it would be just like one grain of sand in the Sahara desert brother. Because, it's really really scary. What I'm thinking and going to do to you, yeah!

=== July 15 ===
:'''[[w:Gene Okerlund|Mean Gene]]''': Hulk Hogan, Outsiders, you have led us down the primrose path!
:'''Hulk Hogan''': Well you know something Gene-o, I wish I would've done this two years ago brother because the New World Order is taking over professional wrestling. Hulk Hogan is bigger than the sport of professional wrestling. And with the Outsiders, the new blood, the foundation of the New World Order, we shall rule the wrestling world Mean Gene!
:'''Mean Gene''': [[What about the children]]? You know about the thousands and thousands of telephone calls that came into WCW. Every man, woman and child on the face of the earth is totally disgusted with you Hulk Hogan, including myself!
:'''Hulk Hogan''': We all know about the training, the prayers and the vitamins brother and like I said, these people out here, after I led their children down the right path had the gall to boo Hulk Hogan one more time. You fans can stick it brother!
:'''Mean Gene''': Wait a minute, I think Sting and Eric Bischoff brought it up earlier on. I think Sting said it best earlier on when he retorted &quot;Hulk Hogan, ''you'' can stick it!&quot;
:'''Hulk Hogan''': Well you know something brother, as far as people like Sting go, ten years ago when I shook his hand in Venice Beach, he was a skinny little bodybuilder. And when he laid his eyes on Hulk Hogan, he was shaking in his boots. I heard all the crying from the so called Macho Man. For three years, he blamed his divorce, the fact that he couldn't rise to the occasion on Hulk Hogan brother. And over and over and over and over again this past week, I've heard WCW blame Hulk Hogan for their problems. The only problem is I'm the greatest wrestler in the world, I made professional wrestling, I will always be bigger than wrestling and with these two friends of mine, the New World Order shall rule the wrestling world!
:'''Eric''': This conceited jerk!
:'''Mean Gene''': You call these guys friends? You know about this man's background and this man's background, this nWo, Where is it going to go? Who's going to be a part of it? I think that's the question we're all asking ourselves and I'm going to ask you.
:'''Hulk Hogan''': Well these are the renegades brother! These are the men that when I open the door brother, they had the guts enough to walk through it. These are the guys that are going to set the trend for the nineties. They will lead Hulk Hogan and professional wrestling to its destiny. But these guys are just the foundation. The thing that everybody, the people out there don't realize is as I build my empire, will there be more outsiders that I bring in? Or will it be people that are so close to Ted Turner, maybe Eric Bischoff's friends. Who knows man? Maybe the guys that are in the locker room right now. There's always been a double loyalty man. In this business, they've been loyal to the promoters who have paid their bills and they've also been loyal to Hulk Hogan. Because they know where Hulk Hogan goes, that's where professional wrestling goes.
:'''Mean Gene''': You have to vent all of this on these people, the peers of this business. How about the kids that have looked up to you for years and years and now it comes down to this? And this is a pretty good example of the way your life is going to go Hulk Hogan.
:'''Hulk Hogan''': Well you know dude, I laid it out straight for all those kids, brother. They didn't want to follow the path, so I'm done with them! But as far as I'm concerned, I'm not going to mess with that skinny little Macho Man or that crybaby Sting. I'm going right to the top of the ladder, brother! And at ''Hog Wild'', brother, on August the 10th, if the [[w:Paul Wight|Giant]] has got guts enough, I'm going to dismantle the whole Ted Turner organization in one night. We're going to take the WCW belt, make it the New World Order belt and we shall reign supreme from that day forward. And as far as I'm concerned brother, if Ted Turner has any boys in the back that have any guts at all, come on out right now! We'll beat up the whole WCW right now, and what are they gonna do?!!

=== September 16===
:''[Sting comes down to the ring with a microphone]''
:'''Sting''': ''[with his back turned to the main camera]'' I want a chance to explain something that happened last Monday night on ''Nitro''. Last Monday night, I was on an airplane flying from L.A. to Atlanta. When I got to Atlanta, I tuned in the TV to ''Nitro'' and I thought I was watching a rerun. It was a very convincing film. Often imitated but never duplicated though and what else did I see? I saw people, I saw wrestlers, I saw commentators and I saw best friends, doubt the Stinger. That's right, doubt the Stinger. So, I heard Lex Luger say &quot;I know where Sting lives, I know where he works out, I'm gonna go get him!&quot; So I said to myself, &quot;I'll just go into [[seclusion]]. I'll wait and see what happens on ''Saturday Night''.&quot; And I tuned in ''Saturday Night'' and what did I see? I saw more of the same, more doubt. Which brings me to ''Fall Brawl''. I knew I had to get to ''Fall Brawl'' to get face to face with the Total Package to let him know that it wasn't me and what I got out of that was, &quot;No, Sting. I DON'T BELEIVE YOU STING!&quot; Well, all I've got to say is, I have been mediator, I have been babysitter, I've given him the benefit of the doubt about a thousand times in the last twelve months! I have carried the WCW banner and I have given my blood, my sweat and my tears for WCW! So for all of those fans out there and all of those wrestlers and people who've never doubted the Stinger, I'll stand by you if you stand by me. But, for all of the people, all of the commentators, all of the wrestlers and all of the best friends who did doubt me, you can stick it! From now on, I consider myself a free agent. But that doesn't mean you won't see the Stinger. From time to time, I'm going to pop in when you least expect it. 

=== November 18===
:''[The show opens with the Outsiders in the ring with chairs having laid out the Nasty Boys and High Voltage. They go down to ringside where Tony and Larry are standing.]''
:'''Larry''': Not again. Not again with this!
:'''Tony''': What's the problem here?
:'''Kevin Nash''': Does this work? Nice to see you dressed up this week, Larry! ''[to Tony]'' Hey, I don't see you laughing today huh?
:'''Scott Hall''': Funny guy, huh?
:'''Nash''': I was so funny last week right? Funny like a clown right? Were you laughing at me? I ain't so funny tonight am I? You see, we can put this on any time we want. I can be funny, I can be deadly and so can this man! Hey, let me ask you a question.
:'''Hall''': You got the bad neck, right?
:'''Nash''': You got the bad neck, right? Do you want to pick up your kids, huh?
:'''Tony''': ''[to Larry who's not standing up for Tony]'' Do you want to step in here?
:'''Larry''': Hey, you're the one that laughed at them. They let me know what I think.
:'''Nash''': You talk about a triangle match, right? There's two of the combatants laid out right now.
:'''Hall''': You know, what I want to know is I've been hearing my whole career how scary the Faces of Fear are. They say, everybody says that Meng and the Barbarian are the two toughest guys in the business. Well you tell those two islanders, come on out here and we'll slap that coconut breath out of you. Tell them to come on down. You can't have a Pay Per View in WCW without inviting the nWo.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Larry''': You can't be upset by what happened. These guys are thugs, they're paid by Dibiase and you're okay. So relax about it, don't be all upset.
:'''Tony''': Yeah well, I don't need to be pushed around. I'm not a wrestler. You're a wrestler. So why didn't you step in front for me? How long have we been friends?
:'''Larry''': You're okay and I'm not Clint Eastwood.
:'''Tony''': Well I can only say this and I'm going to apologize to everybody because I've never done this before at all. But I don't need to be pushed around. I've got five children. I've got a wife. I've got a great job. I'll tell you what, big mouth! Why don't you go ahead? Why don't you go ahead and step in front of me? Why don't you handle the broadcast? Why don't you try play-by-play?
:'''Larry''': Don't get upset!
:'''Tony''': I don't need guys who are seven feet tall coming out here! ''[takes off his headset and walks away]''
:'''Larry''': I don't need guys seven feet tall either coming out here!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Eric Bischoff is dismissing Roddy Piper's claim that he leads the NWO, which suddenly comes out and restrains Piper. Hulk Hogan embraces Bischoff, who later shakes Ted DiBiase]''
:'''Hulk Hogan''': Now that everybody realizes who everybody's working for... I mean, my God, this guy right here is the foundation of the WCW. Now he works for the NWO! 

== 1997 ==
===February 10===
:''[Randy Anderson appears with his family to appeal to Eric Bischoff about hiring him back after the events of Souled Out]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': Kids come on up here. It's all right Randy. It's all right, kids, could you do me a favor. Would you please tell your daddy... that he's ''still fired? [NWO laughs]'' Would you do that for me?
:'''Montana Anderson''': Please, Mr Bischoff!
:'''Bischoff''': Montana please, tell your daddy he's fired, get on with his life.
:'''Kevin Nash''': ''[mocks]'' Do it for little Tiny Tim!
:'''Syxx''': God bless us everyone!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Tony Schiavone and Larry Zbyszko review the Piper/Hogan match footage at Starrcade 1996 that Eric Bischoff confiscated and was somehow played, but when the tape suddenly stops as if it was taken off playback, just as Randy Anderson was about to count off Hogan as submitting to Piper...]''
:'''Tony Schiavone''': What's going on here?
:'''Zbyszko''': Well that wasn't nothing...
:'''Schiavone''': We did not get this - ''[talks to production crew on the headset]'' what happened? Can anybody tell me what happened? The tape stopped? The tape broke?
:'''Zbyszko''': Well what happened was -
:'''Schiavone''': Someone's getting the tape in the production truck.
:'''Zbyszko''': Who's in the truck?
:'''Schiavone''': We're trying to find out fans, I apologize. I'm just talking to Craig Leathers, Keith Mitchell, in our video production truck. Someone apparently went and you hear the tape queueing up. You saw right there, I mean the hand was going up and it was gonna be the end of Hollywood Hulk Hogan with the sleeper. We all witnessed what happened, Eric Bischoff went into the video truck and grabbed the tape.
:'''Zbyszko''': Well, anyway, the world saw what happened, we knew about it, now the missing footage had been recovered and what happened-
:''[Eric Bischoff confronts the announcers with the tape]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': Don't you ever, don't you EVER, EVER, pull a stunt like that again. You or anybody else in this organization ''[puts down mic and starts tearing out the tape]'' ever, ever again. ''[leaves]'' 
:'''Schiavone''': We'll take a break.
:'''Zbyszko''': He could beat up a tape, that's impressive!

===February 17===
:''[Eric Bischoff is fuming mad at Jimmy Jett passing Randy Anderson brass knuckles during his match with Nick Patrick]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': What do you think you're doing?!? You knocked him out! What is this? What is that? You know better than that! You know better than that! You used to be a referee!
:'''Jimmy Jett''': Hey he won the match-
:'''Bischoff''': You used to be a referee!! You are nothing! ''[to Anderson]'' And YOU. I saw it! Let me, let me tell you what you won. Now, you just won a permanent vacation and you are fired! Fired! Spell it, F-I-R-E-D! Leave the building now! Now! You're fired! 
:'''Jett''': It's not fair
:'''Bischoff''': It's not fair! Take those with you!

===August 25===
:''[the Four Horsemen come out and Arn Anderson has something to say to Mean Gene]''
:'''Arn Anderson''': Well, Gene, all I can tell ya', to get a response like this makes what I got to say tonight mean that much more. Ya' see, I'm a realist. As everybody knows, I've got average size and speed and average ability, but I've parlayed that into what I would call a very successful career. And I did that on sheer will alone. But another reality is four months ago they took four vertebrae out of my neck. Consequently, I'm left with a hand, my left hand, too weak to hold a glass, too weak to button a button.

:But I thought in my mind, I knew in my mind I could overcome that too, through sheer will. And I was doing just like that. I think I've come back a long way. But the other day I had something happen in the gym that was like a cold slap in the face of reality. A guy about your size, Gene, came up and he slapped me on the back and he said, 'Double A, where ya' been? We hadn't seen you on TV.' And just that slap sent a jolt through me and I dropped the water I was drinkin' and just for a second my system shut down. And it became crystal clear as I watched the few little drops of water draining out of that bottle the symbolism that was involved. It was like someone had turned an hourglass over and the sand was runnin' out on the career of Arn Anderson.

:Now the fact of the matter is not only do I put myself in a suicide situation by trying to wrestle again, I endanger these two men's careers ''[referring to Chris Benoit and Curt Hennig]'' and I respect them too much for that. And rather than being anything other than the Enforcer in my best friend's eyes, I'd rather walk away. And for all of you people out there that have ever bought a ticket to see Arn Anderson wrestle, ''[crowd cheers]'' whether ya' love me or you hated me, you know that when that bell rang you got all I had that night. Whether I won, whether I lost, I gave you everything I had. And you knew that. And when you did this to me ''[makes four finger salute]'' that was your acknowledgement.

:Well, the fact is I got nothing left to give. And I want you to remember me as I was, not as I am. But being the man that I am, my last act formally as a Horseman, I got one last challenge and that's to you, Curt Hennig. And don't misunderstand me. It's not for a fight. You got something special. I've seen you in this ring. Your skills, your maturity, your commitment to excellence make you something special. And what my challenge is to you, Curt, is stand beside my best friend, Ric Flair, and lead these two men back to the glory and the prominence that the Four Horsemen once had. And I'm going to tell you what your prize is. It's not a spot in the Horsemen. This is worth a lot more than that to me. I'm going to give you the only thing I got left. Not a spot. I'll give you MY spot.

===September 1===  
:''[the NWO comes out spoofing the Four Horsemen, with Kevin Nash as Arn Anderson, Syxx as Ric Flair, Konnan as Steve &quot;Mongo&quot; McMichael, and Buff Bagwell as Curt Hennig]''
:'''Kevin Nash''': I take care of Horsemen business. Before I go any further: Let me all of the Horsemen out here know one thing: Guys, the beer is on ice. You know something, it's pretty ironic that on Labour Day WCW would decide to honor me cause anybody that's followed my career knows one thing: You were always wondering when I was gonna go into labour.

:You know I sat back that day and I watched that highlight tape of my career and I said to myself: You know: I'm a guy of average size, average speed, average quickness, average looks, average intelligence, average carpentry skills - but you know what? I parlayed that into a wrestling career that I might say so myself was quite excellent. But you know something? Four months ago, I had a neck injury. Subsequently, I lost the feeling in my hand, my left hand. The significance of that: That's the hand I open beer with. But you know something? I willed myself back from that injury. I got to the gym - I didn't do anything there, I walked around - but I got to the gym. And you know what? I started a comeback.

:But about a week ago, I went to the neighborhood bar, I bellied up against the bar like only I can and a fat broad - that's right, a fat broad - came up and smacked me in the back. That sent a chill down me... same fat broads that've been following the Horsemen for 20 years. But as I looked at that longneck laying on that cheap industrial grey carpentry, I said to myself: How ironic. That wasn't so much the fact that I was out three dollars and 75 cents, what it was to me was sand tickin' down through the hourglass - and everybody knows, so are the days of our lives. ''[Syxx imitates Ric Flair crying]'' You know one thing you can say, when Arn Anderson was comin' to town - besides the fact that I left a lot of unpaid bar tabs - was Arn Anderson was comin' to town. And you knew if I was on the card, how I was gonna give you 100 per cent - no matter how drunk, how hung over I was. I was gonna give you all ahead. And back in those days before the nWo, you eight people that bought those tickets, got one heck of a show. But you know what? As I come out here tonight, I ask you people: Don't remember how I used to be. Remember me how I look right now. ''[to Konnan]'' Good, Mongo!
:'''Tony Schiavone''': ''[as Nash talks to Konnan]'' We've reached the lowest point ever on this program. We have.
:'''Nash''':''[to Buff Bagwell]'' So Curt, that puts me and you and I got a challenge for you. Wait a second, I don't wanna fight you, cause I ain't want one in 20 years. What I got for you is a challenge, because as much as I wanna be a Horseman, I know if I come out here right now, I'd not only put him in danger, I would put my best friend in danger and I can't do that. So what I'm doing tonight is I got a challenge you and I ain't got much to offer you, cause the beer is spoken for. But what I do got is I got a spot. A spot with the Four Horsemen. Not just a spot, not a liver spot, not a 'Spot' like your dog Spot. No, not just any spot – but myyyyy spot. So I need to know right now: Do you accept it? My spot - not their spot, liver spot, not dog Spot, anybody's spot, MY spot to become a Four Horseman. Not my spot, anybody's spot, dog Spot, liver spot, MY spot.
:'''Buff Bagwell''': As much as I wanna say, I'm a double-A fan, as much as I wanna say I like to be a Four Horseman, it's hard to say 'cause I don't like you and I don't like the Four Horsemen. But I tell you what... it would be an honor. ''[shakes hand with Nash and raises four fingers]''
:'''Tony Schiavone''': ''[as the four NWO members make the Four Horsemen sign and reveal NWO shirts with Four Horsemen parody images]'' And it's been a total joke now. 
:'''Bobby Heenan''': Not funny anymore.
:'''Schiavone''': No it's not. 
:'''Heenan''': Not when you know Arn Anderson like we do.
:'''Schiavone''': I asked about security. I do understand security, they have had their hands full this entire time with holding Ric Flair, Curt Hennig, Mongo, all the horsemen back.
:'''Mike Tenay''': Maybe the most pathetic display of all by the nWo.
:'''Schiavone''' Let me say this too. You nWo fans, look at this one long because, and I do have a hand of some of these television programs during the weekend because you're never going to see this again. Ever.

===September 15===
:''[The show opens with footage of Ric Flair after being stitched up in a hospital as a result of last night's Fall Brawl when Curt Hennig slammed the cage door in his head'']
:'''Tony Schiavone''': ''[very shaken up]'' Fans, uh... ''Nitro'', as you can see, is on the air. Before I go into this card, I need to say something that I've really never said before. You know, 13 years ago, I got into this business because of Ric Flair. I was a minor league baseball announcer in this same city. He went to bat for me for the promoters and I became a wrestling announcer and when I look back on what has happened to me, I credit Ric Flair. And you have seen Ric Flair and what hap.......I can't do this show. I'm sorry. ''[takes off his headset and leaves]''

===September 22===
:'''Mean Gene Okerlund''': That's very impressive, a gentleman the stature of Hugh Morrus, and you absolutely got in there and manhandled him tonight. ''[Bill Goldberg just walks away]'' Sir, I've got to get a little bit more than that. Gentleman's just walking away from me.
:'''Larry Zbyszko''': Is he a mute?
:'''Mean Gene''': I can't believe that. Tony, I haven't seen anything like that. Very impressive. But who is this guy Goldberg?

===November 10===
:''[The NWO appears in the ring with Canadian flags and having brought back Kevin Nash...]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': ...And now the announcement I know I have been waiting to make, 'cause I have been working on this for a long time, the newest addition of the NWO, and Bret Hart, because you were such a... ''[punches the air] knockout'' kind of a guy! ''[everybody laughs, knowing its a reference to Bret punching Vince McMahon after the Montreal Screwjob]''
:'''Hulk Hogan''': He passed the initiation!
:'''Bischoff''': We have a special, special ''[pulls out paper from his jacket]'' gift for you. Liz, can you come around here? ''[passes out paper to NWO members]'' All right let's do it. On three, one, two - this is for you, Bret - three ''[the NWO sings O Canada]''

===November 17===
:'''Rick Rude''': Oh what a difference a day makes. Twenty-four little hours. You know and we all have our 15 minutes of fame and I'd like to take a couple of my 15 minutes to talk about the rights and the wrongs in the world of professional wrestling. What's wrong in the world of professional wrestling is Shawn Michaels claiming to be World Champion when he never beat Bret Hart. What's wrong with the world of professional wrestling is for Vince McMahon to instruct the [[w:Montreal Screwjob|referee to ring the bell]] in order to rob Bret Hart of his title. But on the other hand, what's right in the world of professional wrestling is for Bret Hart to abandon the Titanic and swim to the refuge of the nWo. What's right with the world of professional wrestling is nWo's course to destruct WCW. What's right with the world of professional wrestling is for the nWo to beat the living shit out of the man called Sting. Now the only thing wrong with that entire situation is that I didn't have the chance to participate. Sting second verse is gonna be same as the first. A little bit rowdier and a whole lot worse, because this time Sting, I will partake.

===December 22===
:''[Hulk is in the middle of another promo when a WCW event staffer delivers him a silver gift box]''
:'''Hulk Hogan''': The NWO is just too sweet. Oh, oh my God! ''[sees Bret Hart arrive in a limousine with women and a male waiter accompanying him]'' You're right. It's only one guy. The newest member of the NWO, Bret Hitman Hart. I knew it had to be him, boss. Thank you Bret. ''[opens box and suddenly pulls up a fake severed head of himself; screams in horror]'' Oh my God! ''[points to Bret thinking he delivered the head]''
:'''Mike Tenay''': Looks like a message has been delivered to Hollywood Hulk Hogan and the NWO, Mr Rude.
:'''Rick Rude''': What is this?
:'''Bobby Heenan''': What is going on now? 
:'''Rude''': Is Bret Hart trying to say he wants a piece of the NWO? 
:'''Tenay''': ''[sees spotlight focused on Sting]'' Look at that, it's Sting! He's arrived on the scene.
:'''Heenan''': He's on top of the NWO sign, at the top of the building here in Macon.
:'''Rude''': ''[as Sting ziplines to the ring]'' Take him out Hollywood, take him out! 
:'''Tenay''': ''[Hogan scampers out of the ring]'' Sting is on his way to the ring. We'll see you Sunday at Starrcade!

== 1998 ==
===May 11===
:''[Eric Bischoff shoots on DX's recent assaults]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': As I look through the crowd tonight, I wonder what you must be thinking and I wonder what Vince McMahon is thinking. You know because for the last couple of weeks he's been sending his little wannabes around demanding to talk to ''moi''. The only problem with that is, he only sends them where he knows I'm not going to be. That's okay because I've got a little solution. Sean Waltman, you want an apology from me? You actually show up at our offices on a Monday afternoon when I think even you Sean are smart enough to figure out I probably wouldn't be there. As far as the apology goes - bite me! I apologize to no one.

:But I've got a better idea because, Sean, I know you're just a little puppet and you do what Vince McMahon tells you to do, so Vince McMahon, this is for you. I'm coming to your backyard this Sunday. That's right, in Worcester, Massachussetts we've got a little PPV thing going on and I've got a hell of an idea. You want me? I'm gonna be in your back yard. Consider this an open invitation, Vince McMahon. You show up at Slamboree, it will be me and you McMahon, in the ring. How about it, Vinnie? But I want to warn you people right now, if you think Vince McMahon has got the guts to show up, don't buy this PPV because I guarantee you he is not man enough to step into this ring with me. But I'll be there Vinnie Mac, I'll be waiting for you. And I'm going to knock you out. See you there.

===July 6===
:''[The NWO meet somebody who's just arrived and Hogan earlier hinted as somebody Goldberg must defeat first to face him in the main event - Scott Hall]''
:'''Hulk Hogan''': ''[as they walk to the arena]'' You're toast.
:'''Scott Hall''': Can't have a party without me, baby.
:'''Hogan''': That's right brother.
:'''Eric Bischoff''': ''[to Hall]'' God, we missed you!
:'''Hall''': I gotta heat things up.
:'''Bischoff''': Oh and you know how!
:'''Hall''': I gotta heat things up.
:'''Hogan''': I like it.
:'''Curt Hennig''': How you feeling?
:'''Hall''': Too sweet.
:'''Hogan''': Got the party goods, we got the goods for the party, let's go!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Tony Schiavone''': The fans stand, showing their signs, and we are walking with Goldberg, and security from Goldberg's own locker room area following with him all the way to the ring, as you look live back in the locker room area. Surrounding Goldberg, some of Atlanta's finest, Doug Dillinger as well with WCW security, and here they come.
:'''Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan''': What's going through his mind right now? I've never been in that situation, going for a world championship, let alone with that list of victories this man has, in his backyard, hometown in front of everybody he played for, played with. What an evening, what drama right now.
:'''Tony''': Long walk for Goldberg, but it's been a long wait since he arrived in the Georgia Dome earlier in the day. So what's another long walk for Goldberg? They're almost down here now.
:''[Goldberg now walks alone]''
:'''Bobby''': Well, Hogan may be taking a long walk too. A ''real'' long walk back to the dressing room empty-handed.
:'''Tony''': But could the unblemished mark, the incredible series of wins by Goldberg come to a crashing end here tonight?
:'''Bobby''': And you know, Tony, if Hogan is to defeat this man, you know what the nWo's gonna be like then with Hogan and Eric Bischoff in charge.
:'''Tony''': ''[as Goldberg reaches the entrance]'' And there he is.
:'''Mike Tenay''': And here comes the eruption.
:'''Bobby''': Bigger than before.
:'''Tony''': This is his moment.
:''[Goldberg stands on the ramp as the pyrotechnics envelope him for twenty seconds. When they subside, he walks to the ring surrounded by the security from before]''
:'''Bobby''': It's a long way down.
:'''Tony''': There you look at Goldberg, and think about what Goldberg represents. A virtual unknown in this sport who walked into WCW, and he represents every wrestler who wanted just to walk in here and become the World Champ. That's what he represents as he makes his way to the ring.
:'''Bobby''': He looks ready! Do it for me! Do it for the fans! Get rid of Hogan! And what's Hogan's mentality gonna be at ''Bash at the Beach'' if he's not heavyweight champion of the world along with Rodman?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': Look at Goldberg! He's ready!
:'''Tony''': He's poised... ''[Goldberg spears Hulk Hogan]'' Hogan goes down!
:'''Bobby''': Okay, there's part one! Now finish him off! Finish him off!
:'''Tony''': ''[Goldberg signals for the Jackhammer]'' He's calling for it!
:'''Bobby''': This is it! This is it! ''[Goldberg sets Hogan up for the Jackhammer]'' Your career's on the line here! Do it! Do it! This place'll erupt when he picks him up.
:'''Tony''': ''[Goldberg lifts Hogan in a suplex]'' He's got him up! ''[...and slams Hogan to the mat]'' Oh Hell Yeah!
:'''Tony and Bobby''': ''[counting with the referee]'' One...
:'''Tony''': ''[continues]'' ...two...THREE!!!
:'''Bobby''': OH, THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! We got a new heavyweight champion of the world! The first undefeated man in the history of this sport to ever win the World Championship, and have a record of 107, 108...who cares?! There's zero on the other side! We've got a new champion! Listen to this! ''[pauses to acknowledge the cheering crowd and &quot;Goldberg&quot; chants]'' Wow.
:'''Mike''': Thirty-one-year-old Bill Goldberg, less than ten months in the sport, is on top of the wrestling world.
:'''Tony''': ''[off a shirt]'' &quot;Who's next?&quot;
:'''Bobby''': Who cares?
:'''Tony''': &quot;Who cares&quot; is right. The hero has come through, lades and gentlemen, you have witnessed professional wrestling history on many levels. A man who is undeniably the toughest we have seen in decades, a man who undeniably will lead pro wrestling into the next millennium, stands in the Georgia Dome in front of more than 39,000 fans.
:'''Bobby''': Tony, there's a new sheriff in town.
:'''Tony''': When we go to ''Bash at the Beach'', Goldberg will be the world champ. Its only six days away.
:'''Bobby''': We still got ''Thunder'', Wednesday.
:'''Tony''': With the new world champion. Well, there's nothing more that this announce crew can add to what you've been a witness here tonight. It's been a night for the ages, it's been a night that we will never forget because on Monday, July 6th, 1998, Goldberg captured the gold. Goldberg, went to 108 and 0, and in less than one year, Goldberg, the phenomenon that is Bill Goldberg, at age 31, is the heavyweight champion of the world, and they're not going anywhere...
:'''Bobby''': No.
:'''Tony''': They're still standing, chanting his name, paying homage to their hero. 
:'''Mike''': Let the celebration begin!
:'''Tony''': For Iron Mike Tenay and Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan...
:'''Bobby''': Thank you!!
:'''Tony''': ...and Larry Zsbysko, and Mean Gene, and everybody in pro wrestling... Goodnight, America!!
:'''Mike''': Goldberg's the champ! Let's go!

===August 17===
:''[Hollywood Hogan is in the middle of a promo calling out DDP for &quot;somebody from his past.&quot; Jim Hellwig, aka Warrior comes in and enters the ring]''
:'''Warrior''': Talk to me, Warriors!!! ''[at top rope]'' Feel the real power, Hogan!!
:'''Hollywood Hogan''': ''[shaken by his appearance]'' I thought you were dead!
:'''Warrior''': Who holds the absolute power now, Hollywood Hogan? Unleash that raising voice, Warriors! ''['Warrior!&quot; chants]'' Seems as if no formal introduction is gonna be necessary! Actually, it even seems as if there are those who anticipated my arrival! ''[disgusted at Hogan offering his NWO shirt as if inviting him to join]'' What is that smell? You might want to use it to clean up the mess you just made all over yourself! You need to open your eyes and ears, take control of the limited ability you have to understand the words I am about to say. For years, I have watched while this industry, with you as it's figurehead, has tried to create what is simply un-re-cre-at-able. I have heard, listened to all the innuendos and speculation that something ULTIMATE or WARRIOR may soon reappear. Welcome to the reappearance!&lt;/br&gt; Those things, Hogan, which are irreplaceable, whether they be people, places, or things, are never forgotten. You are witnessing that - RIGHT NOW! History tells us, Hogan... ''[“Hogan sucks”-Chants]'' Let's talk about something he doesn't know! History tells us, Hogan, that a man's legacy is build from the premise that within his life the moments lived, once lived, become a piece of his history. Somehow, you have conveniently, even eloquently, misplaced pieces of your history.&lt;/br&gt; In the [[WrestleMania#WrestleMania_VI_(1990)|one time, epochal battle between us]], Hogan, you were the quintessential influence of what was good, great, and heroic. But different than you may remember, and albeit you may have beaten myths, legends, giants, and other great men, you never - never - beat a warrior. AND, certainly, not THE ULTIMATE ONE! As a victor of that one-time battle, I defeated what was, until then, undefeatable. I conquered what was then unconquerable. I dominated what was, until then, indomitable. On that day, you were great. I was ULTIMATE!&lt;/br&gt; Let me introduce myself, to those two fools that stand behind you. Let's see, this - dude ''[points to the Disciple]'' - must be your barber. And ''[to Eric Bischoff]'' who are you, little man? Who are you?
:'''Eric Bischoff''': You know who I am. My name is Eric Bischoff, I run this company and who invited you?
:'''Warrior''': ''[laughs]'' Different than you want to make people believe, I never received an invitation, I showed up on my own accord, and let me tell you, Mr. Eric Bischoff, if you stick your nose in my business, you only, very quickly, prepare for your own demise. Furthermore, when I get done with my business here, I'm going to be sending you a bill. I suggest you pay it. I have waited patiently. The WARRIORS have waited all too patiently.&lt;/br&gt; Now - NOW - the virtue of justice unties my hands so that I can continue to fulfill a destiny set in motion upon that memorable day years ago - a destiny at the next level - a destiny beckoning the next Super Hero. There really is no sadder sight than when a grown man fears the challenges in his life so much that he rationalises adolescent behaviour to the point where he carries out heinous and self-indulgent actions - YOUR evilness, the evilness you embody and portray, is intolerable.&lt;/br&gt; I am the one that has the power to destroy you. It's source, Hogan, the truth, is inexhaustible. I come here, not to beat you up tonight, Hogan - beating you means nothing anymore. Everybody already has. No no no no no no no, that's too easy. Because you felt guilty for being who you were. Your mind became weak and Hulkamania became boring. I come here, Hogan, to tell you next week I intend to launch a revolution not even YOU can control. I ask you to find the courage - check it out - next week, same Warrior time, same Warrior place, same Warrior channel.&lt;/br&gt;

===September 14===

:'''Arn Anderson''': Can you smell it, JJ? Take a breath. Can you smell it? When 15,000 people blow the roof off a place, that's what a pop smells like. Take a bow. What you said to me is what all those people have been saying to me for a year and a half, and only a true friend would say that. They said &quot;Arn Anderson, stand up and be a man, like you've always been!&quot; And I couldn't hear those words, 'cause something was in the way and I'm gonna start at the beginning, because you have to start at the beginning because tonight IS a new beginning for the Four Horsemen.
:Now when I was a kid, like all kids, people asked you &quot;what do you wanna be when you grow up?&quot; There was no grey area for me, I always knew I wanted to be a wrestler. And when that finally happened for me, it was the proudest day of my life. And in 1986, I started coming to these towns, just like Greenville, South Carolina, as a Horseman. And my life changed forever, and the doors it opened for me, I had never dreamed of. And wrestling the greatest wrestlers in the world in a town like this and all across this country showed me who I was. And every day that I woke up since then I tried to uphold the standards that we, you and I and the rest of us set for ourselves.
:And about a year and a half ago, I laid down on an operating table and when I woke up, Arn Anderson the wrestler was dead, and I thought to myself how could I be a Horseman if I couldn't be a wrestler. Well, the fact is I couldn't in my mind...
:'''Crowd''': We Want Flair!
:'''Arn''': Trust me, everybody's gonna get what they want tonight, Bischoff. Eric Bischoff.
:So when I thought I could no longer be a Horsemen, Chris Benoit came to me first and he said &quot;this can all happen.&quot; And with that prelude, I would like to bring the other three Horsemen out right now. Steve &quot;Mongo&quot; McMichael, come on down. ''[Steve McMichael enters the ring, as do the other Horsemen when called]'' Chris Benoit, come on down. Dean Malenko, come on down.
:Now, before we go any further. Chris Benoit, you got this thing rolling, and I'm gonna go on record as saying, if there's a finer wrestler in all the land than you, I don't know who it is. Your intensity, the first time I saw you wrestle, made you something special. You are something special in my eyes, you knew what it meant to be a Horsemen. You will carry that tradition way past the year 2000.
:Mongo McMichael, you're hard-headed, lotta times you're hard to be around, but the fact is in my eyes, you're all man. You're certainly All-Pro, and when this is all said and done, if I've got anything to say about it, you will mean to this sport what you've meant to the sport of pro football.
:Now Dean Malenko. I've been out here ya/king for the last ten years about what it meant to be a Horseman: work ethic, respect for the business, respect for each other, respect for the people that came before us. And while I was yakking the last year, and the last couple of months, you were out there fighting the fights for the Horsemen. You exemplify what a Horseman has always meant: overachievement. Being the very best you could be, each and every day of your life, whether you were sick, or hurt, or whatever the case may be, and it makes me proud, now I'm gonna say one more time. I've said that you didn't get it; well, ''I'' didn't get it, because if there was ever a Horseman it makes me a little misty-eyed and real proud to call on this day the finest thing you can be in this sport of professional wrestling, that's a Horseman.
:Ladies and gentlemen, through the year 2000, we're gonna do exactly what all of you across this nation have asked: &quot;Arn Anderson, bring back the Horsemen!&quot; But I feel it fair to tell ya, I'm not gonna be responsible for what happens next. 'Cause we don't wear white hats, we're not nice guys, and I can tell you this: heads are gonna roll! So, I've said it: Be careful what you wish for, because now you have it!
:Ah, what a goof! What a goof! You know, I get accused of gettin' racked in the head a few times and having a little touch of Alzheimer's. My God! I almost forgot the fourth Horseman! Ric Flair, get on down here!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ric Flair''': Thank you, thank you very much. I'm almost embarrassed by the response, but when I see this, I know that the twenty - five years that I've spent trying to make you happy every night of your life was worth every damn minute of it. Now, somebody told me that the Horsemen were having a party tonight in Greenville! Could that be true that the most elite group that Eric Bischoff said was dead, is alive and well? Bischoff, this might be my only shot, and I gotta tell ya, I'm gonna make it my best. Is this what you call a great moment in TV? It's wrong, because this is REAL! This is not bought and paid for! It's a REAL - LIFE - SITUATION! Just like the night in Columbia, South Carolina, when you looked at me - tears in my eyes - and said 'God, that's good TV' - it was real! Arn Anderson passed the torch - it was real, dammit! You think Sting was crying in the dressing room like I was on TV if it wasn't real? This guy, my best friend, is one of the greatest performers who ever lived, and YOU - you squashed him, in one night. Then you get on the phone and tell me, &quot;Disband the Horsemen. They're dead. Disband the Four Horsemen.&quot; You know what? I looked at myself in the mirror the next day and I saw a pathetic figure that gave up and quit! And for that, I owe you, the wrestling fans, I owe these guys an apology. Because it won't happen again! ''[Bischoff appears at the entrance way]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': You're history! This is my TV!!
:'''Flair''': Bischoff, whatever you think... You're an overbearing asshole! That's right! You're an obnoxious, you're an obnoxious, overbearing ass! Abuse of power! You! Abuse of power! Cut me off! Come on! It's called abuse of power! 
:'''Bischoff''': You'll never ever wrestle on my television again!
:'''Flair''': You suck! You... I hate your guts. I hate your guts. 
:'''Bischoff''': ''[as he walks away]'' This is my house! You're history!
:'''Flair''': You are a liar, you're a cheat, you're a scam, you are a no-good son of a bitch. 
:'''Bischoff''': You're history!
:'''Flair''': Fire me! I'm already fired! Fire me! I'm already fired!

===December 14===
:''[Ric Flair and the Four Horsemen just fought off the NWO, and he's still livid over Eric Bischoff kissing his wife the week before]''
:'''Ric Flair''': BISCHOFF!!! For 25 years, for whatever I have been, good and bad, I've been a man, you son of a bitch! And good or bad, I can walk in the door of my house and know that those kids, and that wife forgave me for everything I ever did wrong because they depended on me to live day in and day out! You, you start out, you come in here, you promise me the world and then you take my career, you try to shitcan that, that didn't work, because ''[to the fans]'' they, right here, 40,000 strong, wouldn't let you do it!
:'''Bobby Heenan''': It's the most intense I've ever seen him.
:'''Flair''': Then, you put your lawyers on me and you know what, you damn near broke me, but I would like to the wire, I fought you every step of the way. I gave in, I came back, not 'coz of you, but because my little boy, ten years old, walked up to me and said, &quot;Dad, why don't you just beat the hell out of Bischoff and get back in the world?&quot; He didn't understand politics, he didn't understand lawyers, but he understands that every day of his life, his dad said two things to him: Never quit. Promise me for as long as I am alive, you will never quit - and last Thursday night, you stepped over the line AND I ALMOST QUIT! I almost couldn't live it, you put your hands on my children, you kissed my wife, you no-good rotten bastard! What do you think my kids felt when they went to school, embarrassed? No. Shocked? No. You stepped over the line. You took something...
:''[Eric Bischoff appears at the entranceway]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': ''[mock sadness]'' Oh, Ric, I feel so bad.. ''[sees Flair running up to him; to security]'' STOP HIM STOP HIM!!! ''[security restrains Flair]'' Come on, come on! Come and get me, come and get me be careful with him, he's got a bad heart! He's got a bad heart! ''[as the officers cuff him]'' Arrest him! Arrest him, so I can fire him!!

== 1999 ==
=== January 4===
:'''Tony Schiavone''': If you're even thinking about changing the channel to our competition, fans, do not. Because we understand that Mick Foley, who wrestled here one time as Cactus Jack, is going to win their World Title. ''[sarcastically]'' That's gonna put some butts in the seats.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Tony''': Fans, I want to reiterate something I talked about before the commercial break. If you're thinking about changing channels to our competition, we want to let you know that unlike us, they've got their show in the can, their show's been taped. Later tonight, Mick Foley, who once wrestled here as Cactus Jack, is gonna win their World Title. I mean, that's gonna be their World Champion. Ha ha!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Tony''': Fans, as you know, it's getting close to the 11:00 hour. We're gonna stay right here, we're gonna follow all the action as long as it takes, so stay with us. These are not taped matches. This is happening live, this is ''Nitro''. ''[Bell rings]'' The bell sounds, Billy Silverman making the call. No matter what happens, we're staying with you here tonight.
:'''Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan''': Even if it goes on ''all'' night, we're gonna be here.
:'''Tony''': That's what we're all about.
:'''Bobby''': We're live!
:...
:'''Tony''': Listen to the fans! Look at Hogan's reaction!
:'''Bobby''': Over 40,000+! This is better than a playoff game!
:'''Tony''': Hell, this is what pro wrestling, what World Championship Wrestling is all about!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Tony''': ''[on Hogan]'' He's been in so many big matches.
:'''Bobby''': Boy, he has.
:''[Hogan fakes a punch, [[w:Fingerpoke of Doom|then lightly pokes Kevin Nash, who drops to the mat.]] Hogan covers him.]''
:'''Tony''': ''[as Silverman counts]'' What was that about? What's going on here? ''[Silverman counts to three. Hogan, Nash, Hall, and Scott Steiner celebrate in the ring]'' What just happened here?
:'''Bobby''': This stinks.
:'''Michael Buffer''': Ladies and gentlemen, the winner and new Heavyweight Champion of the world, from nWo Hollywood, Hulk Hogan!
:'''Eric Bischoff''': ''[having been silent all night]'' It is unbelievable! The new World Heavyweight Champion, Hollywood Hulk Hogan!

===October 11===

:'''Tony Schiavone''': Before we start with tonight's action, Brain, there's something we both, but particularly you, have to say about our longtime friend Gorilla Monsoon.
:'''Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan''': Gorilla will be sadly missed. He was one big, tough man, he was a decent honest man, and we're all going to miss him very much. And you know the pearly gates in heaven?
:'''Tony''': Yeah.
:'''Bobby''': It's now gonna be called the Gorilla position. Goodbye, my friend.

==2000==
===February 7===
:''[Scott Steiner, his women, and the NWO are in the ring]''
:'''Scott Steiner''': Now last week, I was watching TV and I watched a 53-year-old man come down here who wears more loose skin than a Shar-Pei puppy come out here saying he's still &quot;The Man.&quot; I see Ric Flair No.2, the Nature Boy come out here, who's been the butt-end of all the jokes, 'cause he's supposed to be the limousine-riding, jet-flying son of a gun, but I'm saying one time, you shoulda take a cab, and used to that money to fix that scrooked yellow teeth! So I asked myself, &quot;if WCW was going to hire the Nature Boy No.2, why wouldn't they hire the Nature Boy, the ''original'' Nature Boy, Buddy Rogers?&quot; Now I know that Buddy Rogers is dead - God rest his soul - but Ric Flair, your career is dead! And I know as he lays six feet under, he's still styling and profiling, 'cause when you used your little brain and stole his name, there's one thing you couldn't steal, and that was his class. So when you walked down that aisle last week, I know I wasn't alone, 'cause the people at home, all they did was grab their remote, change the channel to WWF and watch Stone Cold, a person you and your old friends got fired from here 'cause you're a jealous, old bastard. So Ric Flair, remember this, in this wrestling business, there's never been a bigger ass-kissing, butt-sucking bastard in this business, but also in life, you're the biggest ass-kiss, back-stabbing, butt-sucking bastard and you belong where you're at, in WCW, because WCW sucks... and so do you! Me? I'm just gonna stand here in the NWO for life!

===April 10===
:''[Jeff Jarrett reveals Vince Russo as the Powers That Be]''
:'''Vince Russo''': You know, after giving six years of my life to the World Wrestling Federation I came to WCW with one thing in mind - and that was to beat Vince McMahon at his own game! And you know what? Within a matter of weeks, the new blood in WCW was not only getting back in the game, they were changing the game! And that's when the good ol' boy network kicked in - afraid of change, and more importantly afraid of their jobs - the political BS took place in the back to bring Vince Russo down. And you stayin' at home know who you are 'cause you're watching me now. And then one day I'm told that there's gonna be a change in direction - a change that I knew SUCKED! And you know what? I wasn't the only one who knew - Benoit knew - Guerrero knew - Saturn knew - Malenko knew - Douglas knew - and they left! They're gone! Scott Steiner - he knew it, and they suspended his ass! Well you know what? That's all over now. It's done. And Vince Russo is back in charge again. And I wanna turn around now and I wanna say something to everybody in this ring. It is OVER. The old boys management is over. The inflated egos in the back, afraid to lose their spot - it is over. It is the dawning of a new day - it is your opportunity - seize that opportunity!
:''[Eric Bischoff appears]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': Are you done yet? Let me tell you something. This man - Vince Russo and I - have more in common than anybody knows. But the big thing is the fact that we were both screwed by the same... good ol' boys network. Vince is right - those days are over. But it's okay! I don't even mind. And you know why I don't mind? Because it's giving me a hell of an opportunity to think about all the great things I did in WCW, but it's also given me an opportunity to realize the mistakes I've made... mistakes like Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Sting, Diamond Dallas Page, and oh yeah, oh yeah... let's not forget Sid &quot;Wished he was&quot; Vicious. But you know what the biggest mistake I've ever made? I mean this is the real big one. Hulk Hogan. I'm sorry - I really am sorry.
:Everybody told me he would screw me - he would use me - they said, do not look into that red and yellow light because you will be blinded. Well, I was blinded, but tonight I've got 20/20 vision - I'm seeing real clearly for the first time in a long time, and right now I want to apologize to everybody in this ring - The New Blood - and I want you guys to know that if there's anything I can do for Vince Russo that will help you, I am there for him - I am there for you, because it is a whole new WCW. And where are they? Where are they, where is Diamond Dallas Page? Where is Sting? Where are they?
:'''Russo''': I think they're hiding in the back with the old tail between their legs.
===July 15===
:''[Tony Schiavone and Mark Madden talk about the Billy Kidman/Torrie Wilson sex tape on Nitro and the subsequent segment between Torrie and Shane Douglas on Thunder.]''
:'''Tony Schiavone''': ... that fueled the fire for this &quot;Viagra on a Pole&quot; Match.
:'''Mark Madden''': I'll tell you... I'll tell you what, you can't come out of here limping in a match like this. You gotta get it up right away and keep it up.
===August 14===
:'''Vince Russo''': ''[Standing in the ring with Tank Abbott at the start of the show]'' You know, it seems like deja vu all over again. I stood in this very ring [[w:Bash at the Beach|one month ago]], and I made history. I made an example out of somebody... and you all know who [[w:Hulk Hogan|that]] is, because that piece of shit hasn't been around since! Well tonight, I'm gonna make an example on live TV out of another piece of shit, Goldberg! You don't screw with me and the fact is I came out here tonight to fire Bill Goldberg's ass on national TV! Yeah, cheer for him you asshole Canadians! Well you know what? Brad Siegel wouldn't let me fire Goldberg because the fans love Goldberg! Well I say screw the fans and I say screw Bill Goldberg! And Goldberg, since I could not fire your ass, well I'm going to have your ass kicked right here tonight and he's right here Bill. Remember what happened at the Phillips arena Bill? Well we all know that was bullshit! So I say Bill, you bring it out here and lets call it in the ring. Do it Tank! You know, let me explain something to you assholes! You see, Bill Goldberg, Bill Goldberg believes in his own little mind that if this world were real, then he could take everybody! He could kick everybody's ass! He could kick your ass Tank! You know Bill, you think you're Superman, you think you're invincible, you think I can't beat you huh? Well I'll tell you what, I've got the kryptonite to stick up your ass tonight pal! What do I got to do? Do I got to beg you to come out here chickenshit?! What's the matter Bill? You don't want to come out here? You don't know the script? You don't know the storyline? Tank will call your ass!
===September 11===
:''[Big Poppa Pump is interviewed by Mean Gene]''
:'''Scott Steiner''': That's right Mean Gene, I don't lay down for nobody and whether I leave here the world champion tonight, it don't matter because it's not going to change my focus on getting even with Goldberg for fracturing my face at Fall Brawl. Goldberg! I'm getting even for you fracturing my face and I'm gonna prove to you that I'm the man with the largest arms in the world! I'm the genetic freak and size does matter! And that statement, Mean Gene, comes true whether I'm in the ring or out of the ring. See where all my freaks are horizontal, they understand size, they appreciate size and size does matter and they know that they don't have to wait for the Earth to rotate on a 47-degree axis so the stars can touch the sky and create an equinox so they see the Big Dipper. No no no, all they gotta do is call the Big Poppa, cause I'm the man with the big dipper and satisfaction's coming when I go behind and do the bump n' grind and it's only a matter of time before they call me the big bad booty daddy! So Goldberg, realize this. I only care about two things in this world: my freaks and my peaks and I'll beat your ass down at Fall Brawl and I'm about to put you in the Steiner Recliner and I'm gonna whisper in your ear, 'Size does matter, bitch!'

==2001==
===March 19===
:''[Booker T calls out Big Poppa Pump and Ric Flair]''
:'''Booker T''': Yo Steiner, Flair. I told you I was gonna talk to the man and that man is Eric Bischoff, so shut up and listen.
:'''Eric Bischoff''': ''[by phone patch]'' Thank you Booker. For those of you in the arena and all of you watching around the country this evening, I would very much would have chosen to be there tonight in person as I could be but given everything that's going on tonight, that's just not possible. Many of you may know that for the past six months I've been working with a group of people whose goal was - and is - to acquire World Championship Wrestling and to grow it once again to becoming a competitive, dominant wrestling organization worldwide. 
:But recently, we've hit a couple of roadblocks that may be in fact brick walls, and while it is still in my power, I want to do something befitting what could be very well the last night of wrestling on the Turner networks. Given the fact that that wrestling has been such an important part of Turner's history for the past 29 years, I've been thinking over the weekend on what I could do to provide an exciting program that this historic event should be. To that end, I want to make an announcement now that next Monday night in Panama City is indeed going to be a &quot;Night of Champions.&quot; By that, I mean every championship will be up for grabs, starting with the World Cruiserweight Championship, the Cruiserweight Tag Team Championships, the World Tag Team championship, the US title, and the World Heavyweight will also be up for grabs next Monday night at Panama City. And Scott Steiner, Booker T, I want you to, to be aware now that your match is going to be a &quot;Title Vs Title&quot; match. The contracts are prepared, a WCW representative is standing by to make sure that the contracts are executed. Read them carefully, sign them, be prepared to defend your titles next Monday night. And also given the historic nature of this occasion and my relationship with this company for nearly ten years, I wanna personally extend an open invitation to any former - and I mean ''any former'' - World Heavyweight champion in WCW to join us in Panama City, and don't be afraid to bring your boots with you. 
:Lastly, Ric Flair, you and I have had a very rocky relationship over the past ten years and while I have a tremendous amount of respect for you and what you've done in wrestling history and what you've done for WCW for so long now, I want to make sure that in your case, a promise made is a promise kept - and Ric Flair, it is in your best interest this evening - to kiss Dusty Rhodes' ass. ''[Flair is flustered]'' That being said, I'll see you all in Panama City next Monday night, The Night of Champions, thank you.

===March 26===
:''[After the WCW opening logo, Vince McMahon appears]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': Imagine that. Me, Vince McMahon. Imagine that, here I am, on WCW television. How can that happen? Well, there's only one way. You see that it was just a matter of time before I, Vince McMahon, bought my competition. That's right, I own WCW, so therefore in its final broadcast tonight on TNT, I have the opportunity to address ''[hands gesturing to camera]'' you the WCW fans. I have an opportunity to address, you the WCW superstars. What is the fate of WCW? Well tonight, in this special simulcast, you will all find out, because the fate - ''[cups hands]'' the very fate of WCW is in ''my hands''.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Ric Flair comes down to the ring]''
:'''Ric Flair''': Did I - Did I - WOOOOO! Did I happen to hear Vince McMahon say he was goin' to hold WCW in the palms of his hands? Is that what he said? Does that mean that YOU are gonna hold Jack Brisco, Dory Funk, Harley Race, the Road Warriors, Sting, Luger, the Steiners, Bagwell, Ric Flair, Steamboat, does that mean you're gonna hold us all in the palm of your hands? To coin a phrase, I don't think so! You know, at twelve o'clock today, someone very special to me said, &quot;Do not go onto that show tonight knowin' it's the last time that you'll ever be on TNT or TBS&quot; - knowing it's the last time, she said to me, &quot;Don't go out there and cry - don't go out there and say you're sorry&quot; because I'm not - I've been fourteen times the World Champion - in my eyes, one of the greatest, you got it! The greatest wrestling organization in the world - WCW!

:We... I'm talkin' about the Stings, the Lugers, the Steiners, the Road Warriors - I'm talkin' about my best friend, Arn Anderson and the Four Horsemen - we have been on a par, and we have been equal to any wrestling organization in the world - as a matter of fact, we have run neck and neck with you, Vince McMahon, for years - for YEARS - and just for trivia, Vince McMahon, do you know that in 1981, when you were trying to become an announcer, your dad was on the board of directors and voted for ME to be the world champion - WOOOO! How 'bout that? And ever since that day, I have been a limousine-ridin', jet-flyin', kiss-stealin', wheelin-dealin', son of a gun, that along with the whole WCW dammit all, have kissed the girls worldwide, and made 'em cry! 'Cause ya see, we were every bit the force, we were WCW - we lived, we breathed, we sweat, we paid the price to be the best - never been about the boys - it's always been WWF vs. the WCW in the office - the boys that have gone out there, night in and night out, doing everything they could to be the very best at what they chose to do in their life - those boys are here tonight - we are!

:We're not going anywhere, you can't hold us in your hands and predict our life! We're WCW! We've bled and we've sweat - when was the last time you wrestled for an hour, cut yourself five times, bled for 45 minutes... when were you there? You weren't! You weren't! You were never in the dressing room, on the road 40 days and 40 nights, bleedin', sweatin', goin' to the next town, you weren't there, you can't hold people's lives in your hands. We're the greatest wrestling company of all time - I wanna say it again - you can't control us or our future, and in closing, let me say this - in all my years in this sport, my greatest opponent with this company has been Sting - so tonight, if we're going out, if we're going out on a high note, Stinger, the Nature Boy wants you right here, because - that's right - that's right - ya hear it, Sting? Sting, my greatest opponent - Sting, it's your last chance - your last chance to be... ''[crowd chants Sting]'' Sting, Sting, Sting, Sting, Sting, Sting - Sting! To be - the man, you've gotta beat the man, and Sting... I'M. THE. MAN. WOOOOOO!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[after a segment where Vince McMahon admonishes Michael Cole over his questions about WCW wrestlers' job security and his own job security, then toasting with Trish Stratus]''
:'''Tony Schiavone''': How do we all feel? 
:'''Scott Hudson''': How do we all feel about our own job security?
:'''Schiavone''': Where does WCW go from here? What's in the cards? What's going to, what's going to happen, tonight on this telecast?
:'''Hudson''': What is gonna happen? 
:'''Schiavone''': Is this it? I mean this is... Fans, we're reacting and we could only react to what you see as well, we don't know.
:'''Hudson''': Mr McMahon has said there's gonna be a simulcast tonight. What's he gonna say? When's he gonna say it?
:'''Schiavone''': ''[as the WCW World Tag Team Championship match begins]'' The wrestlers, the fans are concerned. The people who worked for WCW are concerned, who have sweat, bled for this company for years, we are all very concerned about the future of WCW, about the future of, well, right there our brand of wrestling.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[In a prerecorded video, DDP reflects on his WCW journey]''
:'''Diamond Dallas Page''': In the words of the Grateful Dead, what a long strange trip it's been, but I gotta tell you, I've loved every second of it, wouldn't trade it for nothing. And tonight, on this historic eve, I thought I needed to thank all the wrestling fans from around the world, for letting a kid from the Jersey Shore, Page Joseph Falkenberg, become Diamond Dallas Page. The guy they said would never make it but did. And that proves only one thing, if you want it bad enough and you're willing to work for it, anything's possible. It's not the promoters who decide who's over, it's the fans, so not just to thanks the fans in general, I want to specially thank, the WCW wrestling fans and my wife, Kimberly, for believing in me, and helping me live my dream. Is that dream over? I don't think so, I think now it's time to take it to another level. ''[to camera]'' Thank you.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[as the WCW Cruiserweight Tag Team Championship match begins, Tony Schiavone goes a bit off-script upon learning of William Regal talking to Vince McMahon over his purchase of WCW]''
:'''Tony Schiavone''': I don't want to sit here, and as a person who's been on Monday Nitro for many years, it hits you to hear anything that he once said... Mr McMahon, it's his money, he can do whatever he wants, I don't know what he's gonna do tonight, but let me say this: to sit here and listen to their Commissioner, rip WCW? 
:'''Scott Hudson''': Yes.
:'''Schiavone''': Come on. I mean, we've had to do some crazy things, Steve Regal, including putting your ass over on TV!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[calling the match between Sting and Ric Flair]''
:'''Tony Schiavone''': ''[sees Sting Superplex Flair]'' Yes, he got it down. What's Sting gonna do now? ''[Scorpion Deathlock]'' Scorpion Deathlock!! He's got it on!
:'''Scott Hudson''': Center of the ring!
:'''Schiavone''': ''[Flair quits]'' It's over! It's over!! It's Sting! Sting wins! Sting defeats Ric Flair here on the final telecast of ''WCW Monday Nitro'' on TNT. And look at that, my god that he's gonna help him up. And the embrace, it's what we're all about. 
:'''Hudson''': Sting knows that Ric Flair made him at that Clash of the Champions. That's ultimate respect.
:'''Schiavone''': It really is.
:'''Hudson''': For two men, I have to say, that have huge fans of, they may be continue to be fans of professional wrestling. Thank you Steve Borden, thank you Ric Flair, for everything you've meant to this sport.
:'''Schiavone''': It's an emotional rollercoaster for all of us fans. The uncertainty of our jobs, our future of what we love, what we breathe, and what we live. We don't just work for WCW, we lived WCW, and I know Flair is thinking that the fans would agree.

== External links==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:TNT shows]]
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  <page>
    <title>Boy</title>
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      <text bytes="41711" xml:space="preserve">A '''[[w:boy|boy]]''' is a young [[male]] [[human]], usually [[child]] or [[adolescent]].

[[File:Bishounen Oranges.jpeg|thumb|O charming boy, trust not too much in thy beauty. ~ [[Virgil]]]]
[[File:Marie_Bashkirtseff_-_A_meeting_-_Google_Art_Project.jpg|thumb|Marie Bashkirtseff: ''A Meeting'']]
[[File:Firmin Baes - Les deux frères. 1924.jpg|thumb|Firmin Baes - ''Les deux frères'' (1924)]]
[[File:Grande-Motte (4856912759).jpg|thumb|[[Blessings]] on your young [[courage]], boy; that's the way to the [[stars]]. ~ [[Virgil]]]]
[[File:Mauch Twins.jpg|thumb|O glorious to be a human boy!...&lt;br /&gt;O running stream of sparkling joy&lt;br /&gt;To be a soaring human boy! ~ [[Charles Dickens]]]]
[[File:Boy hunter watches for birds coming.jpg|thumb|''Boys believe nothing can hurt them,'' his doubt whispered. ''Grown men know better.'' ~ [[George R. R. Martin|George R.R. Martin]]]]
[[File:Let_Others_Worry_(No._607)_by_Grace_Hudson,_1927.jpg|thumb|Grace Hudson, &quot;Let others worry&quot; (1927)]]
[[File:Egyptian Boy 4.jpg|thumb|I hope now that more people are questioning their assumptions about boys and pushing back against old-fashioned ideas about how we teach them to be men, our sons will have more latitude to explore who they want to be and what life they want to create. ~ Emma Brown]]
[[File:M60 A3 (7527994088).jpg|thumb|Individually they're okay, but if two of them get together, their combined IQ is halved, and if a third boy comes along it's halved ''again'', and so on, so that if you have, say, six of them, you're talking about the destructive force of a tank commanded by the brainpower of a Labrador retriever. They communicate with each other by slamming doors. They have the attention span of gnats. ~ [[Dave Barry]]]]
[[File:Nemoto Ken.JPG|thumb|Better build schoolrooms for &quot;the boy&quot;&lt;br&gt;Than cells and gibbets for &quot;the man.&quot; ~ [[Eliza Cook]]]]
[[File:Alvaromendoza3.jpg|thumb|Boys always play better when they know the girls are watching. ~ Edgar Graham Gammon]]
[[File:Andrew Classroom De La Salle University.jpeg|thumb|First and most important, most of the boys and a good number of the girls are thinking about the opposite sex most of the time. If you do not believe this, you are a dreamer. The only thing about a classroom more important to adolescent boys than whether girls are present is whether or not it is on fire. ~ [[George Gilder]]]]
[[File:Bundesarchiv Bild 183-37350-0004, IX. FIFA-Jugendturnier, DDR-Jugend-Nationalmannschaft.jpg|thumb|Boys everywhere are quick to recognize and respect any kind of talent in each other. ~ [[Harold Keith]]]]
[[File:Henry Scott Tuke - Boy on a beach, 1901.jpg|thumb|I do not know what I may appear to the world, but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy, playing on the sea shore, and diverting myself, in now and then finding a smoother pebble, or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me. ~ [[Isaac Newton]]]]
[[File:Fork Union Military Academy.jpg|thumb|Every boy needs schooling in virtues in order to become a great man. ~ Meg Meeker]]
[[File:Turk and Russian, Greek and Jew are represented in this group of half a dozen little street gamins Two of them are the proud possessors of tops and pieces of string to spin them with. LCCN2010650581 (cropped).jpg|thumb|A group of street children in Constantinople in 1921]]
[[File:Fishing, kid, portrait, shore, water surface, summer, free time Fortepan 30937.jpg|thumb|Boys will search for virtue, just as they will search for truth and self-worth, because in the heart of a developing boy is the desire to know the truth, to know what is good, and to know that he has some reason to do the right thing. This is why boys are famous for setting out rules, standards of conduct for themselves. ~ Meg Meeker]]
[[File:Gloeden, Wilhelm von (1856-1931) - n. 2134.jpg|thumb|Gloeden, Wilhelm von (1856-1931) - n. 2134]]
[[File:View of boys in the surf at Sebastian Inlet State Park- Melbourne Beach, Florida (3248152874).jpg|thumb|View of boys in the surf at Sebastian Inlet State Park- Melbourne Beach, Florida]]
[[File:Tuke The Bather (1924).jpg|thumb|As one ''Tatler'' critic recognized when praising Henry Scott Tuke as ''par excellence'' the painter of youth,&quot; the depiction of naked youths bathing or sitting on Cornish beaches looking contemplatively out to sea played an important part in Tuke's artistic success. However, these paintings elicited a range of different readings and conflicting interpretations from Tuke's viewers, some of which detected a sexualised approach on the artist's approach to the unclothed adolescent male body, while many others did not. ~ Cecile Robinson]]
[[File:Youssef Vodafone balkhair.jpg|thumb|Teenage boy in Egypt]]]
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1909_-_Two_boys_on_a_beach_(A_study_in_bright_sunlight).jpg|thumb|right|''Two boys on a beach'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1911_-_Bathing_group_(Noonday_heat).jpg|thumb|right|''Bathing group (Noonday heat)'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]

__NOTOC__
{{TOCalpha}}

== A ==
== B ==

* I'll tell you what would ''really'' age me fast: if I had a teenaged daughter. I don't think I could handle that. Because that would mean teenaged boys would be coming around to my house. &quot;Hi, Mr. Barry!&quot; they'd say, with their cheerful, innocent young voices. &quot;We're here to have sex with your daughter!&quot; No, of course they wouldn't come out and ''say'' that, but I know that's what they'd be ''thinking'', because I was a teenaged boy once, and I was basically a walking hormone storm. I'm sure modern boys are no different. So if I had a teenaged daughter, and a boy came to my house, after somehow picking his way through the land mines in the lawn, I'd probably lunge through the screen door and strangle him right there (&quot;Hi, Mr. Barry! Is Jennifer heAAAAAAAWWWWK&quot;). You think I'm exaggerating, but I have male friends whose daughters are approaching puberty at speeds upwards of 700 miles per hour, and when you say the word &quot;dating,&quot; my friends get a look in their eyes that makes Charles Manson look like Captain Kangaroo. 
** [[Dave Barry]], ''Dave Barry Turns 40'' (1990). New York: Crown Publishers, p. 63

* So in some ways I'm relieved that I don't have daughters, although in other ways I envy people with daughters, because little girls tend to be thoughtful, whereas little boys tend to be- and I say this as a loving father who would not trade his son for anything in the world- jerks. I used to think this was society's fault. This was back in the idealistic sixties and seventies, when we Boomers had many excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. Remember those days? Remember when we truly believed that if society treated boys and girls exactly the same, then they wouldn't be bound by sexual stereotypes, and the boys could grow up to be sensitive and the girls could grow up to be linebackers? Ha ha! Boy, were we ever idealistic! By which I mean &quot;stupid.&quot; Because when we look at actual children, no matter how they are raised, we notice immediately that little girls are in fact smaller versions of human beings, whereas little boys are Pod People from the Planet Destructo. I don't think society has anything to do with this. I think that if you had two desert islands, and you put girl babies on one island and boy babies on another island, and they were somehow able to survive with no help from adult society, eventually the girls would cooperate in collecting pieces of driftwood and using them to build shelters, whereas the boys would pretend that driftwood pieces were guns. (Yes, I realize they'd have no way of knowing what guns were. This would not stop them.) Not only that, but even if the island had 176,000 pieces of driftwood on it, the boys would all end up violently arguing over ''one'' of them.
** [[Dave Barry]], ''Dave Barry Turns 40'' (1990). New York: Crown Publishers, p. 63-64

* I base my opinions on several years of working in an office located in a house with a large transient little-boy population. '''Individually they're okay, but if two of them get together, their combined IQ is halved, and if a third boy comes along it's halved ''again'', and so on, so that if you have, say, six of them, you're talking about the destructive force of a tank commanded by the brainpower of a Labrador retriever. They communicate with each other by slamming doors. They have the attention span of gnats.''' &quot;STOP SLAMMING THE DOORS!&quot; I'll yell at them. &quot;Okay!&quot; they'll reply (SLAM). They are so busy running around and arguing and breaking things and strewing random objects over every square inch of floor that they barely have time to pee, and they ''definitely'' don't have time to aim. They just race into the bathroom, let loose in any old random direction, and then race out again, because by God there are doors to be slammed.
** [[Dave Barry]], ''Dave Barry Turns 40'' (1990). New York: Crown Publishers, p. 64-65

* It's hard to avoid falling into the stereotype-toy trap. When my son, Rob, was born, my philosophy was that he should have only politically correct, environmentally sound, gender-neutral toys, such as a spinning top carved out of nongendered wood or recycled tofu. Sincerely determined to purchase something along these lines when I went to the Toys &quot;R&quot; &quot;A&quot; Big Industry store, I am sincerely embarrassed to report that what I actually purchased was a radio-controlled tank. I couldn't help myself. This was a really ''neat'' tank. It had a working turret and real treads, so it could turn on a dime and climb right over various obstacles, such as books or pillows or my son, Rob, who, being a small infant with basically the same motor skills as a watermelon, was unable to operate this tank personally. So I had to operate it for him, which I did at every opportunity, because he seemed to enjoy it, as was indicated by the increase in his drool output. &lt;br&gt;This is also how I could tell that he liked the electric train. Thus we see that even sensitive and concerned parents such as myself can contribute to the guy-ization of a male infant. But I think it would happen anyway, because little boys just naturally seem to be crazy for power. For example, from early on, Rob loved big trucks. He loved them even before he could pronounce either &quot;big&quot; or &quot;truck.&quot; When he saw a big truck, he'd say something that sounded like &quot;bee fut.&quot; He said it a lot, because he was ''obsessed''. He only had eyes for trucks. We'd be in midtown Manhattan shortly before Christmas, walking beneath spectacular skyscrapers, past delightful animated store-window displays, with music playing everywhere and Santa Claus clanging his bell on every corner, and Rob's attention would be totally focused on: a garbage truck. &lt;br&gt;&quot;Bee fut!&quot; he'd tell me, pointing at it. &quot;Bee fut!&quot; he'd inform random pedestrians. &quot;Bee fut!&quot; he'd state to the world in general, repeating it 1,753 times, in case any unfortunate person might be unaware of this amazing development. And I'd have to stand there in the cold for fifteen minutes, admiring this stinking, crud-encrusted hulk and agreeing over and over that, fut-wise, it was extremely bee.
** [[Dave Barry]], ''Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys: A Fairly Short Book'' (1995). New York: Random House, p. 45-46

* So I suppose it was inevitable that Rob would be interested in power-and-dominance toys. But I want to stress, as a fundamentally nonviolent person who has never owned any form of weapon, that I did ''not'' buy him toy guns. I'm not saying he didn't ''have'' any toy guns; in fact, by the time he was four, he had enough toy guns to conquer a toy nation the size of France (Come to think of it, he probably could have conquered the ''real'' France). I don't know where they came from. They just appeared in my house, and in the houses of all my nonviolent, son-having friends. I think maybe the Gun Fairy finds out where little boys live and comes around at night, dressed in camouflage, scattering battery-operated Nuclear Death Rayguns everywhere. The TV cartoon shows aimed at little boys don't help, either. They're infested with characters who have biceps the size of prize-winning hogs and names like Commander Brock Gonad and His Hard Punchers of Justice.
** [[Dave Barry]], ''Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys: A Fairly Short Book'' (1995). New York: Random House, p. 46-47

* My point here is that the toys marketed for boys, like the TV shows, tend to encourage the boys' already aggressive nature, which could be why boys spend so much time acting like what professional psychologists call &quot;jerks.&quot; Or it could be that boys are born with some kind of jerk gene, and the toy and TV people are merely cashing in on this. Whatever the cause, I know I spent a lot of time envying the parents of girls. I'd see a table of little girls, and they'd be eating and talking, just like miniature humans. Whereas my son and his friends seemed to have some kind of nervous-system linkage between their mouths and their hands, so that they could not chew without punching. Eating with them was as relaxing as amateur eyeball surgery. &quot;Stop punching,&quot; I'd say. They'd try to stop, sometimes succeeding for as long as .00014 seconds. Then the Punch Reflex would overwhelm their tiny mental circuits. &quot;Stop punching!&quot; I'd repeat. &quot;We're not punching!&quot; they'd say, punching. &quot;YOU ARE TOO PUNCHING!!&quot; I'd shout, spewing out pieces of semichewed hamburger. &quot;I CAN ''SEE'' YOU PUNCHING!! AND STOP BLOWING BUBBLES IN YOUR MILKSHAKES!! AND STOP SQUIRTING THE KETCHUP PACKETS AT EACH OTHER!! JUST EAT!!&quot; They'd look at me as though I were insane. Their feeling was, if you were only going to ''eat'', what was the point of going to a restaurant? &lt;br&gt;Then I'd look over at the table of little girls, who'd be chatting and thoughtfully passing each other the napkins, and I would wonder how we ever permitted ''my'' gender to get control of, for example, the government.
** [[Dave Barry]], ''Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys: A Fairly Short Book'' (1995). New York: Random House, p. 52-53

* I feel lucky to be raising a boy now, in this moment. Boys today are on their way to learning a lesson that my generation was never really taught: that every person gets to decide whether they want to be touched or not. A whole army of children across the country are now growing up hearing parents and teachers tell them, over and over, that their bodies are their own. Yes, that means society will hold my son accountable for his sexual behavior in a way that earlier generations never had to deal with. But I don't see that as a loss. &lt;br&gt;I hope that the growing concern about sexual violence will be accompanied by real change: recognition that our sons need better sex education, earlier, as well as frank conversations about porn, consent, and handling rejection. And '''I hope now that more people are questioning their assumptions about boys and pushing back against old-fashioned ideas about how we teach them to be men, our sons will have more latitude to explore who they want to be and what life they want to create.'''
** Emma Brown, ''To Raise a Boy: Classrooms, Locker Rooms, Bedrooms, and the Hidden Struggles of American Boyhood'' (2021). New York: One Signal Publishers, p. 240

== C ==

* Speak roughly to your little boy,&lt;br /&gt;And beat him when he sneezes:&lt;br /&gt;He only does it to annoy,&lt;br /&gt;Because he knows it teases.
** [[Lewis Carroll]], ''[[Alice's Adventures in Wonderland]]'' (1865)&lt;!--, ch. 6--&gt;

* '''Better build schoolrooms for &quot;the boy&quot;'''&lt;br /&gt;'''Than cells and gibbets for &quot;the man.&quot;'''
** [[Eliza Cook]], ''A Song for Ragged Schools'' (1853)

* Mad about the boy,&lt;br /&gt;It's pretty funny but I'm mad about the boy.&lt;br /&gt;He has a gay appeal&lt;br /&gt;That makes me feel&lt;br /&gt;There may be something sad about the boy.
** [[Noël Coward]], ''[[w:Mad about the Boy|Mad about the Boy]]'' (1932)

== D ==

* You are a human boy, my young friend. A human boy.&lt;br /&gt;'''O glorious to be a human boy!'''...&lt;br /&gt;'''O running stream of sparkling joy'''&lt;br /&gt;'''To be a soaring human boy!'''
** [[Charles Dickens]], ''Bleak House'' (1853), Ch. 19.

== E ==

* The overall effect of Hitler Youth membership, some Social Democratic observers complained, was a ‘coarsening’ of the young. The suppression of any discussion or debate, the military discipline, the emphasis on physical prowess and competition, led boys to become violent and aggressive, especially towards young people who for whatever reason had not joined the Hitler Youth. Hitler Youth groups travelling by train amused themselves by insulting and threatening guards who failed to say ‘Hail, Hitler!’ every time they asked a passenger for his ticket. 
** [[Richard J. Evans]], ''The Third Reich in Power 1933-1939'' (2005), p. 280 

== F ==
== G ==

* '''Boys always play better when they know the girls are watching.'''
** Edgar Graham Gammon, 15th President of [[Hampden-Sydney College|Hampdeny-Sydney College]] (1939-1955), in a writing in 1903, when he was a student at Hampden-Sydney in the Class of 1905. As quoted by John Luster Brinkley in ''On This Hill'' (1994), p. 431

* Let us begin with a few simple, crucial, and apparently unmentionable facts about a typical high school classroom. '''First and most important, most of the boys and a good number of the girls are thinking about the opposite sex most of the time. If you do not believe this, you are a dreamer. The only thing about a classroom more important to adolescent boys than whether girls are present is whether or not it is on fire.''' &lt;br&gt;Advocates of coeducation will tell you that the boys are learning to regard the girls as &quot;human beings&quot; rather than as sexual objects. These are the kinds of people who imagine that most males anywhere, under any circumstances- short of affliction by senility, homosexuality, or Bella Abzug- ever refrain from regarding females as sexual objects. These are the &quot;imaginative&quot; types of people who run our schools. They tend to think that their sexual interest in budding adolescent girls is their own secret perversion. It happens to be shared by the boys in the school (as well as by all the other male teachers).&lt;br&gt;If the educator is particularly creative and imaginative, he will suppose that these young &quot;human beings&quot; are learning a lot about life in their work together. What in fact the boys are learning is that unless they are exceptionally &quot;bright' and obedient, they will be exceeded in their studies by most of the girls. Unless you are imaginative, you will see that this is a further drag on their already faltering attention to Longfellow's ''Evangeline''. Clearly in a losing game in masculine terms, the boys react in two ways: They put on a show for the girls and dominate the class anyway, or they drop out. Enough of them eventually drop out, in fact, to disguise the otherwise decided statistical superiority of female performance in school. But they do not drop out soon enough to suit educators for whom aggressive boys are the leading problem in every high school.
** [[George Gilder]], ''Sexual Suicide'' (1973). New York: Quadrangle Books, p. 207-208

* Adolescent boys are radically different from adolescent girls. The boys, for example, are at the pinnacle of sexual desire and aggressiveness. In school, what they chiefly need is male discipline and challenge, ideally without girls present to distract them. Girls, on the other hand, are less aggressive and sexually compulsive at this stage and are more willing to study without rigid policing and supervision. Thus a classroom that contains both boys and girls will hurt both. The boys will be excelled and demoralized by the girls; the girls will be distracted and demoralized by the boys. Both sexes will be damaged by the continuous policing that the rebellious and unsuccessful boys require. &lt;br&gt;There are benefits to coeducation, however. It allows our educational system to avoid &quot;sexism,&quot; reduce costs, and get rid of rambunctious lower-class males. It conditions a good many boys to compete with women on female terms. The classroom successes of these &quot;grinds&quot; and &quot;apple-polishers&quot; are somewhat tarnished after school or in the men's room, when they are brutally harassed by gangs of unsuccessful male students. But what happens after school- or in the men's room, God forbid- is of little concern to the school management. The only after-school that interests them is college admissions.
** [[George Gilder]], ''Sexual Suicide'' (1973). New York: Quadrangle Books, p. 208-209

* Coeducation also allows educators to avoid the problem of finding new ways to meet the sexual identity crises of most schoolboys. As Patricia Cayo Sexton has elaborately documented, it is the most &quot;feminine&quot; boys, by every index, who tend to excel in school. Obedient and submissive in the classroom, their aggressions emerge fitfully in other areas. They raise hell on college campuses, for example. Otherwise they masturbate incessantly, worry about it even more than about their grades, and generally turn their energies inward where they can cause serious distortions of character. Homosexuality and violence are frequent outlets, drugs a frequent pallative. But they ''do'' do well in school. &lt;br&gt;Surprisingly to imaginative educators, these types have less trouble in all-male institutions. Contrary to the widespread notion, homosexuality is evident neither at prep schools nor at parochial schools. Boys with masculinity problems are reinforced by an all-male environment, while less competent though virile students are not so estranged from education by their failures. Competition with females is destructive to males in any arena, but nowhere is it so damaging as among impressionable adolescents preoccupied with their intense but inchoate sexuality.
** [[George Gilder]], ''Sexual Suicide'' (1973). New York: Quadrangle Books, p. 209

* As Anita and I travel about the country, we can't help but believe the sexes are getting closer together. There's not as much difference between boys and girls as there used to be. Many young men today seem to have abandoned the male role. They refuse to be heads of households. I don't think a serious young woman should marry someone like that because I don't think she's going to change him. It's frightening. I don't know if physical appearance or mode of attire or these things make the difference, but it seems guys are more docile. They're almost feminine in manner and dress, and their attitudes toward girls are very lackadaisical and ungallant.
** Bob Green, ''Bless This House'' (1972) by [[Anita Bryant]] and Bob Green. Old Tappan: Fleming H. Revell Company, p. 141-142

* A good many girls these days assume the male role and call boys for dates. I have a nagging feeling that boys are going to get less and less interested in girls as a result. The intrigue is going. If a girl wants to put herself on an equal plane with the boy, she's going to find herself less and less in demand. It used to be that if guys wanted to date a sharp girl they had to polish the car and fix themselves up- and compete. If they don't have to do that, they're going to lose interest. Maybe girls phone boys from necessity. Maybe the boys don't have that get-up-and-go- that desire. I see an extreme lack of desire in young men today.
** Bob Green, ''Bless This House'' (1972) by [[Anita Bryant]] and Bob Green. Old Tappan: Fleming H. Revell Company, p. 142

== H ==

* ''Huc venite iuvenes ut exeatis viri'' &lt;br&gt;&quot;Come Here As Youths So You may Leave As Men&quot;
** Motto of [[Hampden-Sydney College]]

* '''Boys everywhere are quick to recognize and respect any kind of talent in each other''', and one of Will Rogers' best talents was talking.
** [[Harold Keith]], ''Will Rogers, A Boy's Life'' (Norman: Levite of Apache, 1991), revised 1991 republication of 1937 original, p. 100

* When boys go first to bed,&lt;br /&gt;They step into their voluntary graves.
** [[George Herbert]], ''Mortification'' (1633)

* ''Virginibus puerisque canto.''
** I sing for maidens and boys.
** [[Horace]], ''Odes'', Book III, ode i, line 4.

* When you can't do anything else to a boy, you can make him wash his face.
** [[E. W. Howe‎]], ''Travel Letters from New Zealand, Australia and Africa'' (1913), p. 120

== I ==
== J ==
== K ==

* Without plenty of sleep, at least three hours of it before midnight if possible, no boy is going to go far in athletics.&lt;br&gt;Overstraining is simply trying to do too much. A boy's constitution will not stand nearly as much physical effort as a man's in spite of the fact that a boy's competitive spirit flares just as brightly. No boy under sixteens should attempt to run farther than one mile or compete in more than two hard races in one meet. Younger boys do not have to go through the rigid training program intercollegiate athletes undertake because a boy's muscles are naturally more supple and his body in better general physical condition, thanks to the surprising amount of out-of-door walking, running, jumping, swimming, pulling, pushing and stooping boys do every day. Boys under sixteen should concentrate on acquiring form in their events rather than gaining razor-edge physical trim. A short period of special drill and speed sharpening is all they need before a meet.
** [[Harold Keith]], ''Sports and Games'' (New York: Thomas Y. Crowell, 1941), p. 241

* In the old days, an announcement by a boy that he wanted to try out for a distance event on his school track team brought a gasp of horror from his parents and his friends. But Tom Jones, veteran cross-country coach at the University of Wisconsin, recently announced that only one man had died of the ninety-two Wisconsin runners who had lettered at the four-to-five mile distance since 1905, and that one was killed in an automobile accident! In 1910 an old-fashioned doctor advised Clarence DeMar, the marathon runner, that he would die from heart trouble if he kept on running. Two years later the doctor himself died from a heart attack and today DeMar, over fifty years of age, is still alive and healthy and running marathons. So any normal boy can expect to improve his health by running. It is important, however, to undergo at first a careful physical examination, and then not to overstrain after he has started running.
** [[Harold Keith]], ''Sports and Games'' (New York: Thomas Y. Crowell, 1941), p. 242

* Boys should not be afraid that running will give them a weak heart or shorten their lives. Statistics prove that longevity has favored the athlete.
** [[Harold Keith]], ''Sports and Games'' (New York: Thomas Y. Crowell, 1941), p. 241

* '''Boys everywhere are quick to recognize and respect any kind of talent in each other''', and one of Will Rogers' best talents was talking.
** [[Harold Keith]], ''Will Rogers, A Boy's Life'' (Norman: Levite of Apache, 1991), p. 100

* Gender: The social characteristic that we are taught to align with our prescribed sex (i.e., the belief that boys are aggressive.
** Michael Kimmel and The Stony Book Sexualities Research Group (editors), ''Sexualities: Identities, Behaviors, and Society'' (2004), 2nd Edition (2015), p. 681

== L ==

* As for gender, the abstinence-only curricula continue to exhibit what Michelle Fine described a decade ago: the peer doing the pressuring is male; the refuser-delayer is female. Some mainstream publishers set out to fix this in the 1990s. &quot;Reducing the Risk,&quot; for instance, employs a novel approach: it names one of its fictional couples Lee and Lee, who evince no obvious gender traits and take turns aggressing and thwarting aggression. In Lee and Lee, the ideology of chastity has trumped women's liberation. Now, boys are expected to desire as little as girls.
** [[Judith Levine]], ''[[w:Harmful to Minors|Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex]]'' (2002), Judith Levine, forward by [[Joycelyn Elders]], University of Minnesota Press, Minneapolis,  {{ISBN|0816640068}} p. 93 [https://www.ipce.info/library_3/pdf/harmfultominors.pdf]

* In school, perhaps more than at home (which is why parents are sometimes appalled when they catch their kids unawares among their friends), both masculinity and femininity are narrow balancing beams, easy to tumble off. Girls must appear amenable to sex but not too amenable. If a girl is standoffish or proud, she is a &quot;bitch.&quot; But if she talks too dirty or behaves too lasciviously, she's a &quot;slut&quot; or a &quot;ho.&quot; A boy who does the latter is admired as a &quot;player.&quot; If he does the latter toward girls, that is. Because if a boy is shy or insufficiently enthusiastic about, say, discussing the size of a classmate's breasts, he can find himself ostracized as a &quot;faggot.&quot; Masculinity is policed chiefly by boys against other boys, and homophobia is its billy club.
** [[Judith Levine]], ''[[w:Harmful to Minors|Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex]]'' (2002), Judith Levine, forward by [[Joycelyn Elders]], University of Minnesota Press, Minneapolis,  {{ISBN|0816640068}} p. 155-156 [https://www.ipce.info/library_3/pdf/harmfultominors.pdf]

* The Australian sociologist Bob Connell has pointed out that masculine and feminine styles differ from school to school and among social classes, races or ethnic groups. Michael Reichert, a Pennsylvania sociologist whose work on boys has taken him to both Philadelphia housing projects and to an elite suburban boys' prep school, noted, for instance, that a working-class boy might assert his dominance by beating up another kid, whereas an upper-class boy would do the deed verbally, with sarcasm (verbal &quot;dissing,&quot; of course, is a high art of hip-hop as well.)
** [[Judith Levine]], ''[[w:Harmful to Minors|Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex]]'' (2002), Judith Levine, forward by [[Joycelyn Elders]], University of Minnesota Press, Minneapolis,  {{ISBN|0816640068}} p. 156 [https://www.ipce.info/library_3/pdf/harmfultominors.pdf]

* Teens even tend to stick to gender roles when they dissemble about sex. &quot;Three times more junior high school boys than girls say they have had sex, at an earlier age and with more partners. What does this mean?&quot; asked sociologist Mike Males. &quot;Are a few girls really getting around? Are boys having sex with aliens? Each other?&quot; (In his incredulity that the last could happen, Males isn't unlike the kids he's talking about.) Another study found that when kids lied, boys tended to state falsely that they had had sex, whereas girls said they were virgins.
** [[Judith Levine]], ''[[w:Harmful to Minors|Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex]]'' (2002), Judith Levine, forward by [[Joycelyn Elders]], University of Minnesota Press, Minneapolis,  {{ISBN|0816640068}} p. 156-157 [https://www.ipce.info/library_3/pdf/harmfultominors.pdf]

== M ==

* '''''Boys believe nothing can hurt them,'' his doubt whispered. ''Grown men know better.'''''
** [[George R. R. Martin]], ''[[A Song of Ice and Fire#A Clash of Kings|A Clash of Kings]]'', Theon (I)—Theon Greyjoy

* What boy does not wish to find secret powers hidden in himself?
** [[George R. R. Martin]], ''[[A Song of Ice and Fire#A Clash of Kings|A Clash of Kings]]'', Bran (IV)–Maester Luwin

* Sadly for all of us, our culture does little to encourage boys to become great men. Television depicts men as stupid, or as sex addicts, and almost always intellectually and emotionally shallow. Men don't seem to care about these depictions, merely laughing them off. But I care about them, because our sons need good role models and given the amount of time boys spend with electronic media they need good role models on television. And of course, there is a bigger cultural fallout from the depreciation of masculinity and fatherhood, which is lower marriage rates, higher divorce rates, and the reality that many boys grow up in fatherless homes. &lt;br&gt;This is a national tragedy, because boys need healthy encouragement from their fathers more than they need it from anyone else. In a boy's eyes, his father's words are sacred. They hold enormous power. His words can crush a boy or piece him back together after a fall. If a father is not there at all, there is a huge void in a boy's life- and as the depressing statistics remind us, boys who grow up without fathers are at a dramatically greater risk of drug abuse, alcohol abuse, sexually transmitted diseases, and ending up in prison. &lt;br&gt;Encouragement from a father changes a boy's life. His words can ignite furious passion in a boy that will help him achieve any goal he sets out to accomplish. To a son, a dad's words are the final truth. If they are positive, a boy feels that he cannot be beaten; if they are negative, however, a son feels that he could never win. If you are a son reading this, you know exactly what I mean.
** Meg Meeker, ''Boys Should Be Boys'' (2008), 2009 Ballentine Books paperback edition. New York: Ballentine Books, p. 92-93

* '''Every boy needs schooling in virtues in order to become a great man.''' And any parent can school him because at the heart of virtue is masculine intuition. Parents don't have to construct the virtues and then pour then into the heart of their son. The virtues are there, but in small fragments that must be cleaned, shaped, and polished. The great burden for parents is finding time. Haste is the enemy of virtue, because it gives us no time to discuss, think, wonder, or pray; it forces us to push our boys to perform when we should be working with them. Give time back to your son. Give him time to dream. Encourage him to question and to think. Boys must have time to think upon virtues before they embrace them. Otherwise, virtues become nothing more than a disposable outer layer of clothing. A man can put them on or off, depending on his mood. But real virtues are not so disposable- they become part of the boy.
** Meg Meeker, ''Boys Should Be Boys'' (2008), 2009 Ballentine Books paperback edition. New York: Ballentine Books, p. 204-205

* '''Boys will search for virtue, just as they will search for truth and self-worth, because in the heart of a developing boy is the desire to know the truth, to know what is good, and to know that he has some reason to do the right thing. This is why boys are famous for setting out rules, standards of conduct for themselves.''' They derive their moral code from those they admire (usually their parents). Once a boy sets out his rules, he holds them as the best and highest way a boy (himself) should behave. If a boy succeeds in following his code of conduct, he's able to respect himself, and he believes others will respect him as well. Respect and honor are important to boys (and men). &lt;br&gt;At the top of most lists of good behavior is honesty. Boys are keenly attuned to honesty in those around them. And they feel it immediately when people around them sway from it. If a boy has a strong conscience, his eyebrows, nostrils, hairline, and mouth will all betray him if he tries to lie, because he will know he is breaking the code of conduct. Boys consider honesty a masculine quality, so to betray it is to be less of a man. Heroes, in a boy's eyes, are deserving of honor because they stand for what is right and just, and what is right and just is honesty. Living honestly feels better to boys than living with deception, even if that deception is meant to get them what they want. Boys like feeling strong and courageous, and telling the truth demands strength and honesty. Lying feels grungy. Lying makes boys fearful because they know it is a weakness. The liar is someone who is afraid of the truth.&lt;br&gt;This is why boys are so open to being trained to tell the truth. They know that if you teach them to be truth tellers, you're teaching them to be strong. They know good boys, internally strong boys, tell the truth; wishy-washy boys lie. No one needs to tell them this; they know it. &lt;br&gt;So in teaching honesty you have a ready audience. Don't blow it by encouraging your son to tell white lies- even if they're well intentioned. Young boys think in black-and-white terms. A statement is either true or it is false. The younger the boy, the less gray he feels in his thinking. When a parent coaxes him to tell &quot;white lies&quot; he is confused. The term is an oxymoron. In order to accommodate his parents' wishes, he puts lies into the pool of acceptable speech. Beginning such ambiguous training so early on in life leads boys down a slippery path.
** Meg Meeker, ''Boys Should Be Boys'' (2008), 2009 Ballentine Books paperback edition. New York: Ballentine Books, p. 205-206

== N ==

* No one has the right to make a boy learn Latin, because learning is a matter for individual choice; but if in a Latin class, a boy fools all the time, the class should throw him out, because he interferes with the freedom of others.
** [[A. S. Neill]], ''Summerhill'' (1960)

* '''I do not know what I may appear to the world, but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy, playing on the sea shore, and diverting myself, in now and then finding a smoother pebble, or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.'''
** [[Isaac Newton]], just before his death, as quoted in ''The Annual Review, and History of Literature for 1806'', Vol. V (&lt;!--London, --&gt;1807), Ch. 14, Art. XIV (''Memoirs of Sir Isaac Newton'' by Edmund Turnor), p. 471

== O ==
== P ==
== Q ==
== R ==

* To date, there are still very few published discussions of young boys' constructions of masculinity that unpack the heteronormativity in which it is produced. While some of the primary-school studies have explored how homophobic cultures operate to marginalize boys who are alternatively masculine and thus &quot;feminized&quot; and &quot;homosexualized&quot; via various forms of name-calling (Thorne 1993; Boldt 1996; Redman 1996; Renold 2002b, 2004), very little research attention has focused on the diversity and ambiguity of boys' heterosexual cultures.
** Emma Renold, &quot;Primary School 'Studs': (De)constructing Young Boys' Heterosexual Masculinities&quot;, reprinted from ''Men and Masculinities'', Volume 9, Number 3 (2007), 275-297 in ''Sexualities: Identities, Behaviors, and Society'' (2004), 2nd Edition (2015) by Michael Kimmel and The Stony Book Sexualities Research Group (editors), p. 79

* Tuke's repeated portrayal of boys and male adolescents provokes challenging questions about the depiction, exhibition and reception of the body- especially the young body- both then and now. Imagine the artist out on his boat in Falmouth harbour painting his nude boy-models, perhaps in preparation for ''Bathers'' (1888-9), a picture that reappears as a point of interest throughout this book. Consider this in a twenty-first-century context and you might start to ask some questions. Firstly, where are their life jackets? You might also question the relationship between artist and model. Is he supposed to be responsible for them? Do their parents know? Attitudes toward the care and safeguarding of people, children and adolescents in particular, have fundamentally shifted since Tuke's day. I do not mean to suggest that Tuke's models were unsafe or uncared for (interviews in the ''Reminiscences'' are to the contrary) but that societal codes of behavior have changed considerably, not least in relation to nude sea-bathing, which was becoming increasingly contentious even within Tuke's lifetime. The boundaries between what is considered innocent, acceptable, erotic or even sexually explicit- in terms of behavior, language, or imagery- have shifted considerably over time, and Tuke's art draws attention to some of those historical changes.
** Cicely Robinson (editor), ''Henry Scott Tuke'', p. 14

* Famously, the models all said in later life that Tuke never exploited them or made untoward suggestions; unlike his friend Charles Masson Fox, Tyke was never accused of sexual impropriety in his relations with boys and young men.
** Cicely Robinson, ''Henry Scott Tuke'', p. 131

* Boys and girls should be taught respect for each other's liberty; they should be made to feel that nothing gives one human being rights over another, and that jealousy and possessiveness kill love.
** [[Bertrand Russell]], ''What I Believe'' (1925)

* I found one day in school a boy of medium size ill-treating a smaller boy. I expostulated, but he replied: &quot;The bigs hit me, so I hit the babies; that's fair.&quot; In these words he epitomized the history of the human race.
** [[Bertrand Russell]], ''Education and the Social Order'' (1932), p. 31

== S ==

* Make the boy interested in natural history if you can; it is better than games.
** [[Robert Falcon Scott]], last letter to his wife, quoted in ''Scott's Last Expedition'', Vol. I (1913), Ch. 20

== T ==

* The senshi are very sexy, and boys like it. In Japan, moreover, boys are quite weak and they search for a strong partner. They want to be dominated, and the senshi are ready to do it. 
* Maybe what a lot of authors don't understand is the masochistic component of boys. They write love stories that are now outdated. 
:* Naoko Takeuchi [http://www.kicie.net/realm/naoko.htm]

== U ==
== V ==

* ''O formose puer, nimium ne crede colori.''
** '''O charming boy, trust not too much in thy beauty.'''
** [[Virgil]], ''Eclogues ''(37 BC), Book II, line 17.

* ''Macte nova virtute, puer, sic itur ad astra.''
** '''[[Blessings]] on your young [[courage]], boy; that's the way to the [[stars]].'''
** [[Virgil]], ''Aeneid ''(29–19 BC), Book IX, line 641.

== W ==
== X ==
== Y ==
== Z ==

[[Category:Themes]]
[[Category:Gender]]
[[Category:Men| ]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
 {{Wiktionary}}</text>
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      <text bytes="43374" xml:space="preserve">A '''[[w:boy|boy]]''' is a young [[male]] [[human]], usually [[child]] or [[adolescent]].

[[File:Bishounen Oranges.jpeg|thumb|O charming boy, trust not too much in thy beauty. ~ [[Virgil]]]]
[[File:Marie_Bashkirtseff_-_A_meeting_-_Google_Art_Project.jpg|thumb|Marie Bashkirtseff: ''A Meeting'']]
[[File:Firmin Baes - Les deux frères. 1924.jpg|thumb|Firmin Baes - ''Les deux frères'' (1924)]]
[[File:Grande-Motte (4856912759).jpg|thumb|[[Blessings]] on your young [[courage]], boy; that's the way to the [[stars]]. ~ [[Virgil]]]]
[[File:Mauch Twins.jpg|thumb|O glorious to be a human boy!...&lt;br /&gt;O running stream of sparkling joy&lt;br /&gt;To be a soaring human boy! ~ [[Charles Dickens]]]]
[[File:Boy hunter watches for birds coming.jpg|thumb|''Boys believe nothing can hurt them,'' his doubt whispered. ''Grown men know better.'' ~ [[George R. R. Martin|George R.R. Martin]]]]
[[File:Let_Others_Worry_(No._607)_by_Grace_Hudson,_1927.jpg|thumb|Grace Hudson, &quot;Let others worry&quot; (1927)]]
[[File:Egyptian Boy 4.jpg|thumb|I hope now that more people are questioning their assumptions about boys and pushing back against old-fashioned ideas about how we teach them to be men, our sons will have more latitude to explore who they want to be and what life they want to create. ~ Emma Brown]]
[[File:M60 A3 (7527994088).jpg|thumb|Individually they're okay, but if two of them get together, their combined IQ is halved, and if a third boy comes along it's halved ''again'', and so on, so that if you have, say, six of them, you're talking about the destructive force of a tank commanded by the brainpower of a Labrador retriever. They communicate with each other by slamming doors. They have the attention span of gnats. ~ [[Dave Barry]]]]
[[File:Nemoto Ken.JPG|thumb|Better build schoolrooms for &quot;the boy&quot;&lt;br&gt;Than cells and gibbets for &quot;the man.&quot; ~ [[Eliza Cook]]]]
[[File:Alvaromendoza3.jpg|thumb|Boys always play better when they know the girls are watching. ~ Edgar Graham Gammon]]
[[File:Andrew Classroom De La Salle University.jpeg|thumb|First and most important, most of the boys and a good number of the girls are thinking about the opposite sex most of the time. If you do not believe this, you are a dreamer. The only thing about a classroom more important to adolescent boys than whether girls are present is whether or not it is on fire. ~ [[George Gilder]]]]
[[File:Bundesarchiv Bild 183-37350-0004, IX. FIFA-Jugendturnier, DDR-Jugend-Nationalmannschaft.jpg|thumb|Boys everywhere are quick to recognize and respect any kind of talent in each other. ~ [[Harold Keith]]]]
[[File:Henry Scott Tuke - Boy on a beach, 1901.jpg|thumb|I do not know what I may appear to the world, but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy, playing on the sea shore, and diverting myself, in now and then finding a smoother pebble, or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me. ~ [[Isaac Newton]]]]
[[File:Fork Union Military Academy.jpg|thumb|Every boy needs schooling in virtues in order to become a great man. ~ Meg Meeker]]
[[File:Turk and Russian, Greek and Jew are represented in this group of half a dozen little street gamins Two of them are the proud possessors of tops and pieces of string to spin them with. LCCN2010650581 (cropped).jpg|thumb|A group of street children in Constantinople in 1921]]
[[File:Fishing, kid, portrait, shore, water surface, summer, free time Fortepan 30937.jpg|thumb|Boys will search for virtue, just as they will search for truth and self-worth, because in the heart of a developing boy is the desire to know the truth, to know what is good, and to know that he has some reason to do the right thing. This is why boys are famous for setting out rules, standards of conduct for themselves. ~ Meg Meeker]]
[[File:Gloeden, Wilhelm von (1856-1931) - n. 2134.jpg|thumb|Gloeden, Wilhelm von (1856-1931) - n. 2134]]
[[File:View of boys in the surf at Sebastian Inlet State Park- Melbourne Beach, Florida (3248152874).jpg|thumb|View of boys in the surf at Sebastian Inlet State Park- Melbourne Beach, Florida]]
[[File:Tuke The Bather (1924).jpg|thumb|As one ''Tatler'' critic recognized when praising Henry Scott Tuke as ''par excellence'' the painter of youth,&quot; the depiction of naked youths bathing or sitting on Cornish beaches looking contemplatively out to sea played an important part in Tuke's artistic success. However, these paintings elicited a range of different readings and conflicting interpretations from Tuke's viewers, some of which detected a sexualised approach on the artist's approach to the unclothed adolescent male body, while many others did not. ~ Cecile Robinson]]
[[File:Youssef Vodafone balkhair.jpg|thumb|Teenage boy in Egypt]]]
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1909_-_Two_boys_on_a_beach_(A_study_in_bright_sunlight).jpg|thumb|right|''Two boys on a beach'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]
[[File:Tuke,_Henry_Scott_(1858%E2%80%931929)_-_1911_-_Bathing_group_(Noonday_heat).jpg|thumb|right|''Bathing group (Noonday heat)'' by Henry Scott Tuke]]

__NOTOC__
{{TOCalpha}}

== A ==
== B ==

* I'll tell you what would ''really'' age me fast: if I had a teenaged daughter. I don't think I could handle that. Because that would mean teenaged boys would be coming around to my house. &quot;Hi, Mr. Barry!&quot; they'd say, with their cheerful, innocent young voices. &quot;We're here to have sex with your daughter!&quot; No, of course they wouldn't come out and ''say'' that, but I know that's what they'd be ''thinking'', because I was a teenaged boy once, and I was basically a walking hormone storm. I'm sure modern boys are no different. So if I had a teenaged daughter, and a boy came to my house, after somehow picking his way through the land mines in the lawn, I'd probably lunge through the screen door and strangle him right there (&quot;Hi, Mr. Barry! Is Jennifer heAAAAAAAWWWWK&quot;). You think I'm exaggerating, but I have male friends whose daughters are approaching puberty at speeds upwards of 700 miles per hour, and when you say the word &quot;dating,&quot; my friends get a look in their eyes that makes Charles Manson look like Captain Kangaroo. 
** [[Dave Barry]], ''Dave Barry Turns 40'' (1990). New York: Crown Publishers, p. 63

* So in some ways I'm relieved that I don't have daughters, although in other ways I envy people with daughters, because little girls tend to be thoughtful, whereas little boys tend to be- and I say this as a loving father who would not trade his son for anything in the world- jerks. I used to think this was society's fault. This was back in the idealistic sixties and seventies, when we Boomers had many excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. Remember those days? Remember when we truly believed that if society treated boys and girls exactly the same, then they wouldn't be bound by sexual stereotypes, and the boys could grow up to be sensitive and the girls could grow up to be linebackers? Ha ha! Boy, were we ever idealistic! By which I mean &quot;stupid.&quot; Because when we look at actual children, no matter how they are raised, we notice immediately that little girls are in fact smaller versions of human beings, whereas little boys are Pod People from the Planet Destructo. I don't think society has anything to do with this. I think that if you had two desert islands, and you put girl babies on one island and boy babies on another island, and they were somehow able to survive with no help from adult society, eventually the girls would cooperate in collecting pieces of driftwood and using them to build shelters, whereas the boys would pretend that driftwood pieces were guns. (Yes, I realize they'd have no way of knowing what guns were. This would not stop them.) Not only that, but even if the island had 176,000 pieces of driftwood on it, the boys would all end up violently arguing over ''one'' of them.
** [[Dave Barry]], ''Dave Barry Turns 40'' (1990). New York: Crown Publishers, p. 63-64

* I base my opinions on several years of working in an office located in a house with a large transient little-boy population. '''Individually they're okay, but if two of them get together, their combined IQ is halved, and if a third boy comes along it's halved ''again'', and so on, so that if you have, say, six of them, you're talking about the destructive force of a tank commanded by the brainpower of a Labrador retriever. They communicate with each other by slamming doors. They have the attention span of gnats.''' &quot;STOP SLAMMING THE DOORS!&quot; I'll yell at them. &quot;Okay!&quot; they'll reply (SLAM). They are so busy running around and arguing and breaking things and strewing random objects over every square inch of floor that they barely have time to pee, and they ''definitely'' don't have time to aim. They just race into the bathroom, let loose in any old random direction, and then race out again, because by God there are doors to be slammed.
** [[Dave Barry]], ''Dave Barry Turns 40'' (1990). New York: Crown Publishers, p. 64-65

* It's hard to avoid falling into the stereotype-toy trap. When my son, Rob, was born, my philosophy was that he should have only politically correct, environmentally sound, gender-neutral toys, such as a spinning top carved out of nongendered wood or recycled tofu. Sincerely determined to purchase something along these lines when I went to the Toys &quot;R&quot; &quot;A&quot; Big Industry store, I am sincerely embarrassed to report that what I actually purchased was a radio-controlled tank. I couldn't help myself. This was a really ''neat'' tank. It had a working turret and real treads, so it could turn on a dime and climb right over various obstacles, such as books or pillows or my son, Rob, who, being a small infant with basically the same motor skills as a watermelon, was unable to operate this tank personally. So I had to operate it for him, which I did at every opportunity, because he seemed to enjoy it, as was indicated by the increase in his drool output. &lt;br&gt;This is also how I could tell that he liked the electric train. Thus we see that even sensitive and concerned parents such as myself can contribute to the guy-ization of a male infant. But I think it would happen anyway, because little boys just naturally seem to be crazy for power. For example, from early on, Rob loved big trucks. He loved them even before he could pronounce either &quot;big&quot; or &quot;truck.&quot; When he saw a big truck, he'd say something that sounded like &quot;bee fut.&quot; He said it a lot, because he was ''obsessed''. He only had eyes for trucks. We'd be in midtown Manhattan shortly before Christmas, walking beneath spectacular skyscrapers, past delightful animated store-window displays, with music playing everywhere and Santa Claus clanging his bell on every corner, and Rob's attention would be totally focused on: a garbage truck. &lt;br&gt;&quot;Bee fut!&quot; he'd tell me, pointing at it. &quot;Bee fut!&quot; he'd inform random pedestrians. &quot;Bee fut!&quot; he'd state to the world in general, repeating it 1,753 times, in case any unfortunate person might be unaware of this amazing development. And I'd have to stand there in the cold for fifteen minutes, admiring this stinking, crud-encrusted hulk and agreeing over and over that, fut-wise, it was extremely bee.
** [[Dave Barry]], ''Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys: A Fairly Short Book'' (1995). New York: Random House, p. 45-46

* So I suppose it was inevitable that Rob would be interested in power-and-dominance toys. But I want to stress, as a fundamentally nonviolent person who has never owned any form of weapon, that I did ''not'' buy him toy guns. I'm not saying he didn't ''have'' any toy guns; in fact, by the time he was four, he had enough toy guns to conquer a toy nation the size of France (Come to think of it, he probably could have conquered the ''real'' France). I don't know where they came from. They just appeared in my house, and in the houses of all my nonviolent, son-having friends. I think maybe the Gun Fairy finds out where little boys live and comes around at night, dressed in camouflage, scattering battery-operated Nuclear Death Rayguns everywhere. The TV cartoon shows aimed at little boys don't help, either. They're infested with characters who have biceps the size of prize-winning hogs and names like Commander Brock Gonad and His Hard Punchers of Justice.
** [[Dave Barry]], ''Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys: A Fairly Short Book'' (1995). New York: Random House, p. 46-47

* My point here is that the toys marketed for boys, like the TV shows, tend to encourage the boys' already aggressive nature, which could be why boys spend so much time acting like what professional psychologists call &quot;jerks.&quot; Or it could be that boys are born with some kind of jerk gene, and the toy and TV people are merely cashing in on this. Whatever the cause, I know I spent a lot of time envying the parents of girls. I'd see a table of little girls, and they'd be eating and talking, just like miniature humans. Whereas my son and his friends seemed to have some kind of nervous-system linkage between their mouths and their hands, so that they could not chew without punching. Eating with them was as relaxing as amateur eyeball surgery. &quot;Stop punching,&quot; I'd say. They'd try to stop, sometimes succeeding for as long as .00014 seconds. Then the Punch Reflex would overwhelm their tiny mental circuits. &quot;Stop punching!&quot; I'd repeat. &quot;We're not punching!&quot; they'd say, punching. &quot;YOU ARE TOO PUNCHING!!&quot; I'd shout, spewing out pieces of semichewed hamburger. &quot;I CAN ''SEE'' YOU PUNCHING!! AND STOP BLOWING BUBBLES IN YOUR MILKSHAKES!! AND STOP SQUIRTING THE KETCHUP PACKETS AT EACH OTHER!! JUST EAT!!&quot; They'd look at me as though I were insane. Their feeling was, if you were only going to ''eat'', what was the point of going to a restaurant? &lt;br&gt;Then I'd look over at the table of little girls, who'd be chatting and thoughtfully passing each other the napkins, and I would wonder how we ever permitted ''my'' gender to get control of, for example, the government.
** [[Dave Barry]], ''Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys: A Fairly Short Book'' (1995). New York: Random House, p. 52-53

* I feel lucky to be raising a boy now, in this moment. Boys today are on their way to learning a lesson that my generation was never really taught: that every person gets to decide whether they want to be touched or not. A whole army of children across the country are now growing up hearing parents and teachers tell them, over and over, that their bodies are their own. Yes, that means society will hold my son accountable for his sexual behavior in a way that earlier generations never had to deal with. But I don't see that as a loss. &lt;br&gt;I hope that the growing concern about sexual violence will be accompanied by real change: recognition that our sons need better sex education, earlier, as well as frank conversations about porn, consent, and handling rejection. And '''I hope now that more people are questioning their assumptions about boys and pushing back against old-fashioned ideas about how we teach them to be men, our sons will have more latitude to explore who they want to be and what life they want to create.'''
** Emma Brown, ''To Raise a Boy: Classrooms, Locker Rooms, Bedrooms, and the Hidden Struggles of American Boyhood'' (2021). New York: One Signal Publishers, p. 240

== C ==

* Speak roughly to your little boy,&lt;br /&gt;And beat him when he sneezes:&lt;br /&gt;He only does it to annoy,&lt;br /&gt;Because he knows it teases.
** [[Lewis Carroll]], ''[[Alice's Adventures in Wonderland]]'' (1865)&lt;!--, ch. 6--&gt;

* '''Better build schoolrooms for &quot;the boy&quot;'''&lt;br /&gt;'''Than cells and gibbets for &quot;the man.&quot;'''
** [[Eliza Cook]], ''A Song for Ragged Schools'' (1853)

* Mad about the boy,&lt;br /&gt;It's pretty funny but I'm mad about the boy.&lt;br /&gt;He has a gay appeal&lt;br /&gt;That makes me feel&lt;br /&gt;There may be something sad about the boy.
** [[Noël Coward]], ''[[w:Mad about the Boy|Mad about the Boy]]'' (1932)

== D ==

* You are a human boy, my young friend. A human boy.&lt;br /&gt;'''O glorious to be a human boy!'''...&lt;br /&gt;'''O running stream of sparkling joy'''&lt;br /&gt;'''To be a soaring human boy!'''
** [[Charles Dickens]], ''Bleak House'' (1853), Ch. 19.

== E ==

* The overall effect of Hitler Youth membership, some Social Democratic observers complained, was a ‘coarsening’ of the young. The suppression of any discussion or debate, the military discipline, the emphasis on physical prowess and competition, led boys to become violent and aggressive, especially towards young people who for whatever reason had not joined the Hitler Youth. Hitler Youth groups travelling by train amused themselves by insulting and threatening guards who failed to say ‘Hail, Hitler!’ every time they asked a passenger for his ticket. 
** [[Richard J. Evans]], ''The Third Reich in Power 1933-1939'' (2005), p. 280 

== F ==
== G ==

* '''Boys always play better when they know the girls are watching.'''
** Edgar Graham Gammon, 15th President of [[Hampden-Sydney College|Hampdeny-Sydney College]] (1939-1955), in a writing in 1903, when he was a student at Hampden-Sydney in the Class of 1905. As quoted by John Luster Brinkley in ''On This Hill'' (1994), p. 431

* Let us begin with a few simple, crucial, and apparently unmentionable facts about a typical high school classroom. '''First and most important, most of the boys and a good number of the girls are thinking about the opposite sex most of the time. If you do not believe this, you are a dreamer. The only thing about a classroom more important to adolescent boys than whether girls are present is whether or not it is on fire.''' &lt;br&gt;Advocates of coeducation will tell you that the boys are learning to regard the girls as &quot;human beings&quot; rather than as sexual objects. These are the kinds of people who imagine that most males anywhere, under any circumstances- short of affliction by senility, homosexuality, or Bella Abzug- ever refrain from regarding females as sexual objects. These are the &quot;imaginative&quot; types of people who run our schools. They tend to think that their sexual interest in budding adolescent girls is their own secret perversion. It happens to be shared by the boys in the school (as well as by all the other male teachers).&lt;br&gt;If the educator is particularly creative and imaginative, he will suppose that these young &quot;human beings&quot; are learning a lot about life in their work together. What in fact the boys are learning is that unless they are exceptionally &quot;bright' and obedient, they will be exceeded in their studies by most of the girls. Unless you are imaginative, you will see that this is a further drag on their already faltering attention to Longfellow's ''Evangeline''. Clearly in a losing game in masculine terms, the boys react in two ways: They put on a show for the girls and dominate the class anyway, or they drop out. Enough of them eventually drop out, in fact, to disguise the otherwise decided statistical superiority of female performance in school. But they do not drop out soon enough to suit educators for whom aggressive boys are the leading problem in every high school.
** [[George Gilder]], ''Sexual Suicide'' (1973). New York: Quadrangle Books, p. 207-208

* Adolescent boys are radically different from adolescent girls. The boys, for example, are at the pinnacle of sexual desire and aggressiveness. In school, what they chiefly need is male discipline and challenge, ideally without girls present to distract them. Girls, on the other hand, are less aggressive and sexually compulsive at this stage and are more willing to study without rigid policing and supervision. Thus a classroom that contains both boys and girls will hurt both. The boys will be excelled and demoralized by the girls; the girls will be distracted and demoralized by the boys. Both sexes will be damaged by the continuous policing that the rebellious and unsuccessful boys require. &lt;br&gt;There are benefits to coeducation, however. It allows our educational system to avoid &quot;sexism,&quot; reduce costs, and get rid of rambunctious lower-class males. It conditions a good many boys to compete with women on female terms. The classroom successes of these &quot;grinds&quot; and &quot;apple-polishers&quot; are somewhat tarnished after school or in the men's room, when they are brutally harassed by gangs of unsuccessful male students. But what happens after school- or in the men's room, God forbid- is of little concern to the school management. The only after-school that interests them is college admissions.
** [[George Gilder]], ''Sexual Suicide'' (1973). New York: Quadrangle Books, p. 208-209

* Coeducation also allows educators to avoid the problem of finding new ways to meet the sexual identity crises of most schoolboys. As Patricia Cayo Sexton has elaborately documented, it is the most &quot;feminine&quot; boys, by every index, who tend to excel in school. Obedient and submissive in the classroom, their aggressions emerge fitfully in other areas. They raise hell on college campuses, for example. Otherwise they masturbate incessantly, worry about it even more than about their grades, and generally turn their energies inward where they can cause serious distortions of character. Homosexuality and violence are frequent outlets, drugs a frequent pallative. But they ''do'' do well in school. &lt;br&gt;Surprisingly to imaginative educators, these types have less trouble in all-male institutions. Contrary to the widespread notion, homosexuality is evident neither at prep schools nor at parochial schools. Boys with masculinity problems are reinforced by an all-male environment, while less competent though virile students are not so estranged from education by their failures. Competition with females is destructive to males in any arena, but nowhere is it so damaging as among impressionable adolescents preoccupied with their intense but inchoate sexuality.
** [[George Gilder]], ''Sexual Suicide'' (1973). New York: Quadrangle Books, p. 209

* As Anita and I travel about the country, we can't help but believe the sexes are getting closer together. There's not as much difference between boys and girls as there used to be. Many young men today seem to have abandoned the male role. They refuse to be heads of households. I don't think a serious young woman should marry someone like that because I don't think she's going to change him. It's frightening. I don't know if physical appearance or mode of attire or these things make the difference, but it seems guys are more docile. They're almost feminine in manner and dress, and their attitudes toward girls are very lackadaisical and ungallant.
** Bob Green, ''Bless This House'' (1972) by [[Anita Bryant]] and Bob Green. Old Tappan: Fleming H. Revell Company, p. 141-142

* A good many girls these days assume the male role and call boys for dates. I have a nagging feeling that boys are going to get less and less interested in girls as a result. The intrigue is going. If a girl wants to put herself on an equal plane with the boy, she's going to find herself less and less in demand. It used to be that if guys wanted to date a sharp girl they had to polish the car and fix themselves up- and compete. If they don't have to do that, they're going to lose interest. Maybe girls phone boys from necessity. Maybe the boys don't have that get-up-and-go- that desire. I see an extreme lack of desire in young men today.
** Bob Green, ''Bless This House'' (1972) by [[Anita Bryant]] and Bob Green. Old Tappan: Fleming H. Revell Company, p. 142

== H ==

* ''Huc venite iuvenes ut exeatis viri'' &lt;br&gt;&quot;Come Here As Youths So You may Leave As Men&quot;
** Motto of [[Hampden-Sydney College]]

* '''Boys everywhere are quick to recognize and respect any kind of talent in each other''', and one of Will Rogers' best talents was talking.
** [[Harold Keith]], ''Will Rogers, A Boy's Life'' (Norman: Levite of Apache, 1991), revised 1991 republication of 1937 original, p. 100

* When boys go first to bed,&lt;br /&gt;They step into their voluntary graves.
** [[George Herbert]], ''Mortification'' (1633)

* ''Virginibus puerisque canto.''
** I sing for maidens and boys.
** [[Horace]], ''Odes'', Book III, ode i, line 4.

* When you can't do anything else to a boy, you can make him wash his face.
** [[E. W. Howe‎]], ''Travel Letters from New Zealand, Australia and Africa'' (1913), p. 120

== I ==
== J ==
== K ==

* Without plenty of sleep, at least three hours of it before midnight if possible, no boy is going to go far in athletics.&lt;br&gt;Overstraining is simply trying to do too much. A boy's constitution will not stand nearly as much physical effort as a man's in spite of the fact that a boy's competitive spirit flares just as brightly. No boy under sixteens should attempt to run farther than one mile or compete in more than two hard races in one meet. Younger boys do not have to go through the rigid training program intercollegiate athletes undertake because a boy's muscles are naturally more supple and his body in better general physical condition, thanks to the surprising amount of out-of-door walking, running, jumping, swimming, pulling, pushing and stooping boys do every day. Boys under sixteen should concentrate on acquiring form in their events rather than gaining razor-edge physical trim. A short period of special drill and speed sharpening is all they need before a meet.
** [[Harold Keith]], ''Sports and Games'' (New York: Thomas Y. Crowell, 1941), p. 241

* In the old days, an announcement by a boy that he wanted to try out for a distance event on his school track team brought a gasp of horror from his parents and his friends. But Tom Jones, veteran cross-country coach at the University of Wisconsin, recently announced that only one man had died of the ninety-two Wisconsin runners who had lettered at the four-to-five mile distance since 1905, and that one was killed in an automobile accident! In 1910 an old-fashioned doctor advised Clarence DeMar, the marathon runner, that he would die from heart trouble if he kept on running. Two years later the doctor himself died from a heart attack and today DeMar, over fifty years of age, is still alive and healthy and running marathons. So any normal boy can expect to improve his health by running. It is important, however, to undergo at first a careful physical examination, and then not to overstrain after he has started running.
** [[Harold Keith]], ''Sports and Games'' (New York: Thomas Y. Crowell, 1941), p. 242

* Boys should not be afraid that running will give them a weak heart or shorten their lives. Statistics prove that longevity has favored the athlete.
** [[Harold Keith]], ''Sports and Games'' (New York: Thomas Y. Crowell, 1941), p. 241

* '''Boys everywhere are quick to recognize and respect any kind of talent in each other''', and one of Will Rogers' best talents was talking.
** [[Harold Keith]], ''Will Rogers, A Boy's Life'' (Norman: Levite of Apache, 1991), p. 100

* Gender: The social characteristic that we are taught to align with our prescribed sex (i.e., the belief that boys are aggressive.
** Michael Kimmel and The Stony Book Sexualities Research Group (editors), ''Sexualities: Identities, Behaviors, and Society'' (2004), 2nd Edition (2015), p. 681

== L ==

* As for gender, the abstinence-only curricula continue to exhibit what Michelle Fine described a decade ago: the peer doing the pressuring is male; the refuser-delayer is female. Some mainstream publishers set out to fix this in the 1990s. &quot;Reducing the Risk,&quot; for instance, employs a novel approach: it names one of its fictional couples Lee and Lee, who evince no obvious gender traits and take turns aggressing and thwarting aggression. In Lee and Lee, the ideology of chastity has trumped women's liberation. Now, boys are expected to desire as little as girls.
** [[Judith Levine]], ''[[w:Harmful to Minors|Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex]]'' (2002), Judith Levine, forward by [[Joycelyn Elders]], University of Minnesota Press, Minneapolis,  {{ISBN|0816640068}} p. 93 [https://www.ipce.info/library_3/pdf/harmfultominors.pdf]

* In school, perhaps more than at home (which is why parents are sometimes appalled when they catch their kids unawares among their friends), both masculinity and femininity are narrow balancing beams, easy to tumble off. Girls must appear amenable to sex but not too amenable. If a girl is standoffish or proud, she is a &quot;bitch.&quot; But if she talks too dirty or behaves too lasciviously, she's a &quot;slut&quot; or a &quot;ho.&quot; A boy who does the latter is admired as a &quot;player.&quot; If he does the latter toward girls, that is. Because if a boy is shy or insufficiently enthusiastic about, say, discussing the size of a classmate's breasts, he can find himself ostracized as a &quot;faggot.&quot; Masculinity is policed chiefly by boys against other boys, and homophobia is its billy club.
** [[Judith Levine]], ''[[w:Harmful to Minors|Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex]]'' (2002), Judith Levine, forward by [[Joycelyn Elders]], University of Minnesota Press, Minneapolis,  {{ISBN|0816640068}} p. 155-156 [https://www.ipce.info/library_3/pdf/harmfultominors.pdf]

* The Australian sociologist Bob Connell has pointed out that masculine and feminine styles differ from school to school and among social classes, races or ethnic groups. Michael Reichert, a Pennsylvania sociologist whose work on boys has taken him to both Philadelphia housing projects and to an elite suburban boys' prep school, noted, for instance, that a working-class boy might assert his dominance by beating up another kid, whereas an upper-class boy would do the deed verbally, with sarcasm (verbal &quot;dissing,&quot; of course, is a high art of hip-hop as well.)
** [[Judith Levine]], ''[[w:Harmful to Minors|Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex]]'' (2002), Judith Levine, forward by [[Joycelyn Elders]], University of Minnesota Press, Minneapolis,  {{ISBN|0816640068}} p. 156 [https://www.ipce.info/library_3/pdf/harmfultominors.pdf]

* Teens even tend to stick to gender roles when they dissemble about sex. &quot;Three times more junior high school boys than girls say they have had sex, at an earlier age and with more partners. What does this mean?&quot; asked sociologist Mike Males. &quot;Are a few girls really getting around? Are boys having sex with aliens? Each other?&quot; (In his incredulity that the last could happen, Males isn't unlike the kids he's talking about.) Another study found that when kids lied, boys tended to state falsely that they had had sex, whereas girls said they were virgins.
** [[Judith Levine]], ''[[w:Harmful to Minors|Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex]]'' (2002), Judith Levine, forward by [[Joycelyn Elders]], University of Minnesota Press, Minneapolis,  {{ISBN|0816640068}} p. 156-157 [https://www.ipce.info/library_3/pdf/harmfultominors.pdf]

== M ==

* '''''Boys believe nothing can hurt them,'' his doubt whispered. ''Grown men know better.'''''
** [[George R. R. Martin]], ''[[A Song of Ice and Fire#A Clash of Kings|A Clash of Kings]]'', Theon (I)—Theon Greyjoy

* What boy does not wish to find secret powers hidden in himself?
** [[George R. R. Martin]], ''[[A Song of Ice and Fire#A Clash of Kings|A Clash of Kings]]'', Bran (IV)–Maester Luwin

* Sadly for all of us, our culture does little to encourage boys to become great men. Television depicts men as stupid, or as sex addicts, and almost always intellectually and emotionally shallow. Men don't seem to care about these depictions, merely laughing them off. But I care about them, because our sons need good role models and given the amount of time boys spend with electronic media they need good role models on television. And of course, there is a bigger cultural fallout from the depreciation of masculinity and fatherhood, which is lower marriage rates, higher divorce rates, and the reality that many boys grow up in fatherless homes. &lt;br&gt;This is a national tragedy, because boys need healthy encouragement from their fathers more than they need it from anyone else. In a boy's eyes, his father's words are sacred. They hold enormous power. His words can crush a boy or piece him back together after a fall. If a father is not there at all, there is a huge void in a boy's life- and as the depressing statistics remind us, boys who grow up without fathers are at a dramatically greater risk of drug abuse, alcohol abuse, sexually transmitted diseases, and ending up in prison. &lt;br&gt;Encouragement from a father changes a boy's life. His words can ignite furious passion in a boy that will help him achieve any goal he sets out to accomplish. To a son, a dad's words are the final truth. If they are positive, a boy feels that he cannot be beaten; if they are negative, however, a son feels that he could never win. If you are a son reading this, you know exactly what I mean.
** Meg Meeker, ''Boys Should Be Boys'' (2008), 2009 Ballentine Books paperback edition. New York: Ballentine Books, p. 92-93

* '''Every boy needs schooling in virtues in order to become a great man.''' And any parent can school him because at the heart of virtue is masculine intuition. Parents don't have to construct the virtues and then pour then into the heart of their son. The virtues are there, but in small fragments that must be cleaned, shaped, and polished. The great burden for parents is finding time. Haste is the enemy of virtue, because it gives us no time to discuss, think, wonder, or pray; it forces us to push our boys to perform when we should be working with them. Give time back to your son. Give him time to dream. Encourage him to question and to think. Boys must have time to think upon virtues before they embrace them. Otherwise, virtues become nothing more than a disposable outer layer of clothing. A man can put them on or off, depending on his mood. But real virtues are not so disposable- they become part of the boy.
** Meg Meeker, ''Boys Should Be Boys'' (2008), 2009 Ballentine Books paperback edition. New York: Ballentine Books, p. 204-205

* '''Boys will search for virtue, just as they will search for truth and self-worth, because in the heart of a developing boy is the desire to know the truth, to know what is good, and to know that he has some reason to do the right thing. This is why boys are famous for setting out rules, standards of conduct for themselves.''' They derive their moral code from those they admire (usually their parents). Once a boy sets out his rules, he holds them as the best and highest way a boy (himself) should behave. If a boy succeeds in following his code of conduct, he's able to respect himself, and he believes others will respect him as well. Respect and honor are important to boys (and men). &lt;br&gt;At the top of most lists of good behavior is honesty. Boys are keenly attuned to honesty in those around them. And they feel it immediately when people around them sway from it. If a boy has a strong conscience, his eyebrows, nostrils, hairline, and mouth will all betray him if he tries to lie, because he will know he is breaking the code of conduct. Boys consider honesty a masculine quality, so to betray it is to be less of a man. Heroes, in a boy's eyes, are deserving of honor because they stand for what is right and just, and what is right and just is honesty. Living honestly feels better to boys than living with deception, even if that deception is meant to get them what they want. Boys like feeling strong and courageous, and telling the truth demands strength and honesty. Lying feels grungy. Lying makes boys fearful because they know it is a weakness. The liar is someone who is afraid of the truth.&lt;br&gt;This is why boys are so open to being trained to tell the truth. They know that if you teach them to be truth tellers, you're teaching them to be strong. They know good boys, internally strong boys, tell the truth; wishy-washy boys lie. No one needs to tell them this; they know it. &lt;br&gt;So in teaching honesty you have a ready audience. Don't blow it by encouraging your son to tell white lies- even if they're well intentioned. Young boys think in black-and-white terms. A statement is either true or it is false. The younger the boy, the less gray he feels in his thinking. When a parent coaxes him to tell &quot;white lies&quot; he is confused. The term is an oxymoron. In order to accommodate his parents' wishes, he puts lies into the pool of acceptable speech. Beginning such ambiguous training so early on in life leads boys down a slippery path.
** Meg Meeker, ''Boys Should Be Boys'' (2008), 2009 Ballentine Books paperback edition. New York: Ballentine Books, p. 205-206

== N ==

* No one has the right to make a boy learn Latin, because learning is a matter for individual choice; but if in a Latin class, a boy fools all the time, the class should throw him out, because he interferes with the freedom of others.
** [[A. S. Neill]], ''Summerhill'' (1960)

* '''I do not know what I may appear to the world, but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy, playing on the sea shore, and diverting myself, in now and then finding a smoother pebble, or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.'''
** [[Isaac Newton]], just before his death, as quoted in ''The Annual Review, and History of Literature for 1806'', Vol. V (&lt;!--London, --&gt;1807), Ch. 14, Art. XIV (''Memoirs of Sir Isaac Newton'' by Edmund Turnor), p. 471

== O ==
== P ==
== Q ==
== R ==

* To date, there are still very few published discussions of young boys' constructions of masculinity that unpack the heteronormativity in which it is produced. While some of the primary-school studies have explored how homophobic cultures operate to marginalize boys who are alternatively masculine and thus &quot;feminized&quot; and &quot;homosexualized&quot; via various forms of name-calling (Thorne 1993; Boldt 1996; Redman 1996; Renold 2002b, 2004), very little research attention has focused on the diversity and ambiguity of boys' heterosexual cultures.
** Emma Renold, &quot;Primary School 'Studs': (De)constructing Young Boys' Heterosexual Masculinities&quot;, reprinted from ''Men and Masculinities'', Volume 9, Number 3 (2007), 275-297 in ''Sexualities: Identities, Behaviors, and Society'' (2004), 2nd Edition (2015) by Michael Kimmel and The Stony Book Sexualities Research Group (editors), p. 79

* Tuke's repeated portrayal of boys and male adolescents provokes challenging questions about the depiction, exhibition and reception of the body- especially the young body- both then and now. Imagine the artist out on his boat in Falmouth harbour painting his nude boy-models, perhaps in preparation for ''Bathers'' (1888-9), a picture that reappears as a point of interest throughout this book. Consider this in a twenty-first-century context and you might start to ask some questions. Firstly, where are their life jackets? You might also question the relationship between artist and model. Is he supposed to be responsible for them? Do their parents know? Attitudes toward the care and safeguarding of people, children and adolescents in particular, have fundamentally shifted since Tuke's day. I do not mean to suggest that Tuke's models were unsafe or uncared for (interviews in the ''Reminiscences'' are to the contrary) but that societal codes of behavior have changed considerably, not least in relation to nude sea-bathing, which was becoming increasingly contentious even within Tuke's lifetime. The boundaries between what is considered innocent, acceptable, erotic or even sexually explicit- in terms of behavior, language, or imagery- have shifted considerably over time, and Tuke's art draws attention to some of those historical changes.
** Cicely Robinson (editor), ''Henry Scott Tuke'', p. 14

* Famously, the models all said in later life that Tuke never exploited them or made untoward suggestions; unlike his friend Charles Masson Fox, Tyke was never accused of sexual impropriety in his relations with boys and young men.
** Cicely Robinson, ''Henry Scott Tuke'', p. 131

* Boys and girls should be taught respect for each other's liberty; they should be made to feel that nothing gives one human being rights over another, and that jealousy and possessiveness kill love.
** [[Bertrand Russell]], ''What I Believe'' (1925)

* I found one day in school a boy of medium size ill-treating a smaller boy. I expostulated, but he replied: &quot;The bigs hit me, so I hit the babies; that's fair.&quot; In these words he epitomized the history of the human race.
** [[Bertrand Russell]], ''Education and the Social Order'' (1932), p. 31

== S ==

* Make the boy interested in natural history if you can; it is better than games.
** [[Robert Falcon Scott]], last letter to his wife, quoted in ''Scott's Last Expedition'', Vol. I (1913), Ch. 20

* As one ''Tatler'' critic recognized when praising Henry Scott Tuke as ''par excellence'' the painter of youth,&quot; the depiction of naked youths bathing or sitting on Cornish beaches looking contemplatively out to sea played an important part in Tuke's artistic success. However, these paintings elicited a range of different readings and conflicting interpretations from Tuke's viewers, some of which detected a sexualised approach on the artist's approach to the unclothed adolescent male body, while many others did not.
** Andrew Stephenson (contributing author), ''Henry Scott Tuke'' (New Haven: Yale University Press) by Cicely Robinson (editor), p. 75

* Examining the physical attributes, poses, and symbolism of the naked youths that modelled for Tuke and were depicted in his key works, I argue that certain iconographic references and pictorial correspondences were familiar to some of Tuke's viewers. This would have been due to their knowledge of classical precedents for representing the youthful male nude and through their exposure to erotic photographic images of naked youths in the open air that encouraged them to infer sexual intent. Yet for other audiences, these sexualised associatins remained elusive, as they approached the subject of youthful male nudes in landscape settings differently through the conventions of English pastoralism or by seeing the work as making reference to an updated visual language of neoclassicism gaining currency and critical support in British art from the 1860s onwards.
** Andrew Stephenson (contributing author), ''Henry Scott Tuke'' (New Haven: Yale University Press) by Cicely Robinson (editor), p. 75

== T ==

* The senshi are very sexy, and boys like it. In Japan, moreover, boys are quite weak and they search for a strong partner. They want to be dominated, and the senshi are ready to do it. 
* Maybe what a lot of authors don't understand is the masochistic component of boys. They write love stories that are now outdated. 
:* Naoko Takeuchi [http://www.kicie.net/realm/naoko.htm]

== U ==
== V ==

* ''O formose puer, nimium ne crede colori.''
** '''O charming boy, trust not too much in thy beauty.'''
** [[Virgil]], ''Eclogues ''(37 BC), Book II, line 17.

* ''Macte nova virtute, puer, sic itur ad astra.''
** '''[[Blessings]] on your young [[courage]], boy; that's the way to the [[stars]].'''
** [[Virgil]], ''Aeneid ''(29–19 BC), Book IX, line 641.

== W ==
== X ==
== Y ==
== Z ==

[[Category:Themes]]
[[Category:Gender]]
[[Category:Men| ]]

== External links ==
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'''[[w:James II of England|James II and VII]]''' ([[14 October]] [[1633]] – [[16 September]] [[1701]]) was [[w:List of English monarchs|King of England]] and [[w:List of Irish monarchs|Ireland]] as '''James II''' and [[w:List of Scottish monarchs|King of Scotland]] as '''James VII''', from 6 February 1685 until he was deposed in the [[w:Glorious Revolution|Glorious Revolution]] of 1688. He was the last [[w:Roman Catholicism|Roman Catholic]] monarch to reign over the Kingdoms of [[w:Kingdom of England|England]], [[w:Kingdom of Scotland|Scotland]] and [[w:Kingdom of Ireland|Ireland]].

==Quotes==
*I fully declare my Opinion concerning the Principles of the [[Church of England]], whose Members have shewed themselves so eminently Loyal in the worst of times, in Defence of my Father, and Support of my Brother, of Blessed Memory; that I will always take care to defend and support it. I will make it my Endeavour to preserve this Government both in Church and State, as it is now by Law Established; and as I will never depart from the just Rights and Prerogatives of the Crown, so I will never invade any Man's Property; and you may be sure, that having heretofore ventur'd my Life in the Defence of this Nation, I will still go as far as any Man in preserving it, in all its just Rights and Liberties.
**[https://www.british-history.ac.uk/commons-hist-proceedings/vol2/pp164-199 Speech to Parliament] (22 May 1685)

* ...above all, I must recommend to you the Care of the Navy, the Strength and Glory of this Nation, that you will put it into such a Condition, as may make us considered and respected Abroad. I cannot express My Concern upon this Occasion more suitable to My own Thoughts of it, than by assuring you I have a true English Heart, as jealous of the Honour of the Nation as you can be. And I please Myself with the Hopes, that, by God's Blessing and your Assistance, I may carry the Reputation of it yet higher in the World, than ever it has been in the Time of any of My Ancestors.
** [http://www.british-history.ac.uk/report.aspx?compid=12935 Speech to Parliament] (30 May 1685)

*[T]he King sayd he...hoped we would join with him in making a [[magna Carta]] for Conscience as well as properties and other liberties, he was sure no man should be debarr[e]d of either while he lived, suppose said he there should be a law made that all black men should be imprisoned, twould be unreasonable and we had as little reason to quarrell with other men for being of different opinions as for being of different Complexions...and he was sure no Englishman could desire to see others persecuted for differences of opinion.
**Speech to a group of Whig gentlemen in Chester, as recorded in Sir Willoughby Aston's diary (27 August 1687), quoted in Scott Sowerby, ''Making Toleration: The Repealers and the Glorious Revolution'' (2013), p. 42

==Quotes about James II==
* James II was neither so clever, nor so subtle as his brother. As we have seen, he was incapable of dissembling the Catholicism that so alarmed his subjects. Instead, from the moment he became king he worshipped openly and ostentatiously, asking Sir Christopher Wren to design an elaborate Catholic chapel at Whitehall. As his piety might seem to imply, James II was not as fun-loving as Charles II. At the beginning of his reign he banished from Whitehall all the men and women of pleasure, including (albeit temporarily) his own mistress, Catherine Sedley, countess of Dorchester (1657-1717). In some ways, this sobriety was not such a bad thing after the scandalous behavior of the &quot;Merry Monarch.&quot; The Crown needed to restore its dignity and it needed to save money. The new king was not afraid of attacking entrenched interests and his orderly mind caused him to launch a major &quot;downsizing&quot; of the court, eliminating sinecure offices and much of the fee-taking system. The result was a smaller, more efficient, and thriftier court- but also one which was much less exciting and lucrative than his brother's had been.
** Richard Bucholz and Newton Key, ''Early Modern England, 1485-1714: A Narrative History'' (2009), p. 301-302

* In short, James II may have been an excellent administrator, but he was a terrible politician. A soldier since youth and a Roman Catholic for nearly two decades, he craved order, hierarchy, obedience. He regarded questioning or disagreement from his subordinates, whether in Parliament, the court, or the military, as signs of disloyalty. Consistent with this, he was a lifelong absolutist. In James's view, his father's (Charles I's) only mistake was to make concessions. Above all, James II was convinced of the truth of the Roman Catholic faith and of his moral duty, as king, to bring his people back into the fold, regardless of their individual feelings on the matter. In his defence, James probably had no intention of persecuting his Protestant subjects into conversion or oblivion ''a la'' Bloody Mary. Rather, he seems to have believed that, if all Christian faiths were put on equal footing by a toleration, thus creating a free market of ideas and discourse, his subjects would see the self-evident truth of the Old Faith as he had done. Somewhat ironically given the rigid nature of James's personality, the pursuit of religious toleration became the major policy initiative of his reign. Historians have debated his sincerity ever since. But whatever his motivation, as in his administrative reforms, this otherwise old-fashioned and conservative man was too far ahead of his times for his own good.
** Richard Bucholz and Newton Key, ''Early Modern England, 1485-1714: A Narrative History'' (2009), p. 302-303

* Finally realizing the seriousness of William's preparations, in late September James tried to back-pedal, abolishing the Ecclesiastical Commission, restoring the old city charters and their Anglican Tory oligarchies, and promising to call a free parliament. This did nothing to placate the Tory clergy or gentry or attack Whig townspeople; instead it demoralized Catholics and threw the local government of the nation into confusion. Soon after hearing that William had landed, James developed a massive nosebleed- probably a psychological reaction. At first glance, the king's panic makes no sense. He had at his immediate disposal 25,000 troops encamped on Salisbury Plain, squarely between William, at Exeter, and London. His coffers were full. He had &quot;home-field&quot; advantage. And there had not been a successful invasion of England since the Wars of the Roses. James should have been able to throw William into the sea in a matter of weeks, if not days. But he must have realized that his forces were largely untested and divided in religion and loyalty. Nor could he have been encouraged by his own obvious personal unpopularity. Perhaps his father's fate haunted him.
** Richard Bucholz and Newton Key, ''Early Modern England, 1485-1714: A Narrative History'' (2009), p. 307

* In particular, the ruling elite seems to have taken a wait-and-see attitude to William's invasion. But as James hesitated to act, his support began to evaporate. The first to go over to William was Edward Hyde, Viscount Cornbury (1661-1723), the king's own nephew. By mid-November, the lords lieutenant who had been asked to raise the militia did so- and then marched it over to the prince of Orange: Lord Delamere (1652-94) gave his Cheshire tenants a choice, &quot;whether [to] be a slave and a Papist, or a Protestant and a Freeman.&quot; Thus, at the moment of crisis James II turned out to be vulnerable on the last long-term issue that had cost his father the crown, that of local control. Ultimately, that control still rested with the landed aristocracy who held estates in the localities. In the course of two successive mornings between November 23 and 25, James awakened to find that his other son-in-law, Prince George, his dearest friend, Lord Churchill, and the head of the most staunchly Royalist family in England, James Butler, second duke of Ormond (1665-1745), had gone over to William. On the 26th he learned that Princess Anne had also fled the court, leading James to lament, &quot;God help me... my own children have forsaken me.&quot;
** Richard Bucholz and Newton Key, ''Early Modern England, 1485-1714: A Narrative History'' (2009), p. 307-308

* At this point the king decided that the game was up. He abandoned his army and hurried back to London by coach. Once there, he put Queen Mary Beatrice and Prince James into a boat for France. On the night of December 11 he threw the Great Seal (required for registering statutes) into the Thames and attempted to make his own escape. He botched even this when he was discovered, disguised, while attempting to board a boat bound for the continent. The king returned briefly to London but, despite the urging of a number of Tory peers, he had no intention of staying. By the same token, William had no desire to see his inconveniently returned father-in-law. So, when James requested to go to Rochester, on the extreme east of Kent, there were no objections. The unfortunate monarch took advantage of this location and made his second, successful escape attempt on December 23. The Restoration Settlement was at an end. Put another way, the Great Chain of Being had been broken once again within a generation.
** Richard Bucholz and Newton Key, ''Early Modern England, 1485-1714: A Narrative History'' (2009), p. 308

*A great king, with strong armies and mighty fleets, a vast treasure and powerful allies, fell all at once: and his whole strength, like a spider's web, was so irrecoverably broken with a touch, that he was never able to retrieve, what for want both of judgment and heart he threw up in a day.
**[[Gilbert Burnet]], ''Bishop Burnet's History of His Own Time, Vol. III'' (1833), p. 1

* James ascended the throne with all the ease of Richard Cromwell. He took every measure which forethought could enjoin to grasp the royal power, and his earliest declarations carried comfort to an anxious land. He tried to dispel the belief that he was vindictive or inclined to arbitrary rule. &quot;I have often heretofore ventured my life in defence of this nation, and I shall go as far as any man in preserving it in all its just rights and liberties.&quot; He declared himself resolved to maintain in both State and Church a system of government established by law. &quot;The laws of England,&quot; he said, &quot;are sufficient to make the King a great monarch.&quot; He would maintain the rights and prerogative of the Crown, and would not invade any man's property. He is even reported to have said that &quot;as regards his private religious opinions, no one should perceive that he entertained them.&quot; Nevertheless, from the moment he felt himself effectively King, on the second Sunday after his accession, he went publicly to Mass in his chapel. The Duke of Norfolk, who carried the sword of state before him, stopped at the door. &quot;My lord,&quot; said the King, &quot;your father would have gone farther.&quot; &quot;Your Majesty's father would not have gone so far,&quot; rejoined the Duke.
** [[Winston Churchill]], ''A History of the English-Speaking Peoples, Volume Two: The New World'' (1956), p. 386-387

* During the whole of 1686 and 1687 James held Parliament in abeyance, and used his dispensing power to introduce Roman Catholics into key positions. Whigs and Tories drew closer together. James was uniting the party that had challenged his brother with the party that had rallied so ardently his brother's defence. He now embarked on a political maneoevre at once audacious, crafty, and miscalculated. Hitherto he had striven only to relieve his Catholic subjects. If Whigs and Tories were combined he would match them by a coalition of Papists and Nonconformists under the armed power of the Crown. In William Penn, the Quaker courtier and founder of the state of Pennsylvania across the seas, influential in both this and the former reign, he found a powerful and skilled agent. Thus did the King break down the national barriers of his throne and try to shore it up with novel, ill-assorted, and inadequate props.
** [[Winston Churchill]], ''A History of the English-Speaking Peoples, Volume Two: The New World'' (1956), p. 393-394

* In England during the autumn of 1688 everything pointed, as in 1642, to the outbreak of civil war. But now the grouping of the forces was far different from the days when Charles I unfurled his standard at Nottingham. The King had a large, well-equipped regular Army, with a powerful artillery. He believed himself master of the best, if not at the moment the largest, Navy afloat. He could call for powerful armed aid from Ireland and from France. He assumed that the Church of England was paralysed by its doctrine of nonresistance, and he had been careful not to allow any Parliament to assemble for the collective action. Ranged against him on the other hand were not only the Whigs, but almost all the old friends of the Crown. The men who had made the Restoration, the sons of the men who had fought and died for his father at Marston Moor and at Naseby, the Church whose bishops and ministers had so long faced prosecution for the principle of Divine Right, the universities which had melted their plate for Charles I's coffers and sent their young scholars to his armies, the nobility and landed gentry whose interests had seemed so bound up with the monarchy- all, with bet heads and burning hearts, must now prepare themselves to outface their King in arms. Never did the aristocracy or the Established Church face a sterner test or serve the nation better than in 1688. They never flinched; they never doubted.
** [[Winston Churchill]], ''A History of the English-Speaking Peoples, Volume Two: The New World'' (1956), p. 400-401

* But now successive desertions smote the unhappy prince. Lord Cornbury, eldest son of the Earl of Clarendon, an officer of the Royal Dragoons, endeavoured to carry three regiments of horse to William's camp. James, warned from many quarters, meditated Churchill's arrest. On the night of November 23, having failed to carry any large part of the Army with them, Churchill and the Duke of Grafton, with about four hundred officers and troopers, quitted the royal camp. At the same time the Princess Anne, attended by Sarah Churchill, and guided by Bishop Compton, fled from Whitehall and hastened northwards. And now revolt broke out all over the country. Danby was in arms in Yorkshire, Devonshire in Derbyshire, Delamere in Cheshire. Lord Bath delivered Plymouth to William. Byng, later an admiral, representing the captains of the Fleet, arrived at his headquarters to inform him that the Navy and Portsmouth were at his disposal. City after city rose in rebellion. By one spontaneous, tremendous convulsion the English nation repudiated James.
** Winston Churchill, ''A History of the English-Speaking Peoples, Volume Two: The New World'' (1956), p. 409-410

* The King, finding resistance impossible, assembled such peers and Privy Counsellors as were still in London, and on their advice entered into negotiations with the Prince of Orange. Meanwhile the invading army moved steadily forward towards London. James sent his wife and son out of the kingdom, and on the night of December 11 stole from the palace at Whitehall, crossed the river, and road to the coast. He endeavoured to plunge his realm into anarchy. He threw the Great Seal into the Thames, and sent orders to Feversham to disband the Army, and to Dartmouth to sail to Ireland with what ships he could. The London mob sacked the foreign embassies, and a panic and terror, known as the &quot;Irish Night,&quot; swept the capital. Undoubtedly a complete collapse of order would have occurred but for the resolute action of the Council, which was still sitting in London. With some difficulty they suppressed the storm, and, acknowledging William's authority, besought him to hasten his marches to London. James in his flight had actually got on board a ship, but, missing the tide, was caught and dragged ashore by the fishermen and townsfolk. He was brought back to London, and after some days of painful suspense was allowed to escape again. This time he succeeded and left English soil for ever. But though the downfall and flight of this impolitic monarch were at the time ignominious, his dignity has been restored to him by history. His sacrifice for religion gained for him the lasting respect of the Catholic Church, and he carried with him into lifelong exile an air of royalty and honour.
** Winston Churchill, ''A History of the English-Speaking Peoples, Volume Two: The New World'' (1956), p. 410

*James the Second, who was a very good King, but unhappily believed that it was necessary for the salvation of his subjects that they should be Roman Catholicks.
**[[Samuel Johnson]]'s remarks to [[James Boswell]] (6 April 1775), quoted in James Boswell, ''[[w:Life of Samuel Johnson|The Life of Samuel Johnson, LL.D., Vol. I]]'' [1791] (1933), p. 578

*In retrospect the [[Glorious Revolution|Revolution]] justified the policy of [[w:Exclusion Crisis|Exclusion]]. The events of the reign of James II fulfilled [[Whigs (British political party)|Whig]] predictions, proving that [[w:Popery|Popery]] was incompatible with the liberties as well as the religion of the nation. His conduct demonstrated to all that the Crown could not be allowed to retain those [[w:Royal prerogative in the United Kingdom|prerogative powers]] which had brought about the defeat of the Whigs, but which James had then turned against the [[w:Tories (British political party)|Tories]] and the [[w:Church of England|Church of England]]. Later generations disowned [[Anthony Ashley Cooper, 1st Earl of Shaftesbury|Shaftesbury]], but they did not repudiate the principles on which the case for Exclusion, as well as the Revolution, rested—that political power should reside with those who possessed the greatest weight in society, and that in the last resort sovereignty rests with the people, the interests of the nation taking precedence over those of the Crown.
**[[w:J. R. Jones|J. R. Jones]], ''The First Whigs: The Politics of the Exclusion Crisis, 1678–1683'' (1961), p. 217

*For James the free exercise of Catholicism was the essential thing which, he believed, would lead inevitably to its re-establishment in England without any need for coercion. He thought once Englishmen could see how Catholicism had been misrepresented they would willingly turn to the true faith, especially if that had the weight of royal approval behind it. So long as Catholic worship were freely allowed, other details of the toleration were of secondary importance, merely a matter of tactics. Whether James wanted toleration for [[w:English Dissenters|Dissenters]] as well as for Catholics varied according to circumstances. He was not a tolerationist in the sense that he believed that honest differences of opinion could be or should be permitted within a state or that no one church had a monopoly of truth: in fact he believed the opposite. His advocacy of toleration was the product of the self-confidence of his bigotry: if Catholicism were tolerated, it would triumph completely and inevitably and then the question of toleration would lose all meaning.
**John Miller, ''Popery and Politics in England, 1660–1688'' (1973), p. 201

*That this view was extremely naive goes without saying. But James never believed that anyone could honestly and sincerely hold opinions different from his own. He explained opposition in terms of personalities, faction, self-interest, misrepresentation or conspiracy but never in terms of principle... He did not understand that after a century and a quarter of continuous Protestantism Englishmen could not be (and did not wish to be) disabused of their misconceptions about Catholicism by a missionary effort as puny as the one that he mounted. He failed to appreciate that Protestants could be sincerely attached to their beliefs. His schemes were doomed to eventual failure because the vast majority of Englishmen would not willingly turn Papist.
**John Miller, ''Popery and Politics in England, 1660–1688'' (1973), p. 201

*James's Catholicising policy might seem insane; it can be explained only by his native and grossly inflated expectations of conversions. Fortified by his sense of divine mission, he believed with a conviction born of faith that converts would appear, not because he had any rational grounds for thinking that they would but because he desperately wanted them to... He blundered on with the blind optimism of a man whose mind was determinedly closed to any thought of failure... [W]hen [[William III of England|William]] invaded, few were prepared to resist him. In less than four years James had destroyed the strongest political position that any [[w:House of Stuart|Stuart]] ever enjoyed. He had turned the [[w:Tories (British political party)|Tories]] from vociferous loyalty to sullen apathy. And he had achieved this by concentrating single-mindedly on the line of action that the Tories could not stomach – the promotion of [[w:Popery|Popery]].
**John Miller, ''Popery and Politics in England, 1660–1688'' (1973), p. 202

*He loved and aimed at absolute power, and believed that nothing could introduce and support it but the catholic religion, as the Romanists call theirs; and this increased his zeal for it, and that zeal increased his disposition to arbitrary power: so that in truth, his religion and his politics were partly the cause of each other, and indeed they cannot easily be separated.
**[[w:Arthur Onslow|Arthur Onslow]], quoted in Gilbert Burnet, ''Bishop Burnet's History of His Own Time, Vol. III'' (1833), p. 2, note a

*That King James the Second, having endeayour'd to subvert the Constitution of the Kingdom, by breaking the Original Contract between King and People; and by the Advice of [[w:Society of Jesus|Jesuits]], and other wicked Persons, having violated the [[w:Fundamental Laws of England|Fundamental Laws]]; and withdrawn himself out of the Kingdom, hath Abdicated the Government, and that the Throne is thereby become Vacant.
**[https://www.british-history.ac.uk/commons-hist-proceedings/vol2/pp199-255 Resolution of the Committee of the House of Commons ratified by Parliament (28 January 1689)]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:English monarchs]]
[[Category:Scottish monarchs|James VII of Scotland]]
[[Category:1633 births]]
[[Category:1701 deaths]]
[[Category:Catholics from England]]
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    <title>Girish Raghunath Karnad</title>
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      <text bytes="6838" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Girish Karnad Screening Cornell.JPG|right|thumb| Girish Karnad in 2009]]
[[File:Life Goes On 03.jpg|thumb|right|On the sets of the 2009 film Life Goes On]]
'''[[w:Girish Karnad|Girish Raghunath Karnad]]''' (born [[19 May]] [[1938]]) was a contemporary writer, playwright, screenwriter, actor and movie director in [[w:Kannada language|Kannada]], [[w:Hindi language|Hindi]]  and [[w:English|English language]]s. He died on 10th June, 2019.

== Quotes ==

*I don't have an iota of interest in the historical Muhammad Tughlaq.  I have no interest as to whether he was good or evil, whether he was pro or anti-Hindu. I wished to write an entertaining play, and in the endeavor, wanted to choose a fairly complex character.
**Karnad in a reply to [[w:S.L. Bhyrappa|S.L. Bhyrappa]] quoted in Sandeep Balakrishna, Tipu Sultan - The Tyrant of Mysore, p.12

*The next prime minister ([[Narendra Modi]]) may be a man who organised the slaughter of more than 3000 Muslims in Gujarat. He is a candidate; he is being touted as the next prime minister. 
**In an inteview about Karnad's views on [[V.S. Naipaul]], [http://www.rediff.com/news/slide-show/slide-show-1-i-waited-for-10-years-to-speak-against-naipaul-karnad/20121104.htm#3 'Do the festival organisers agree with Naipaul?] Rediff News.

* I see a legacy of my generation... I am happy to belong to a generation that had a Dharmaveer Bharti, a [[w:Mohan Rakesh|Mohan Rakesh]], a [[w:Vijay Tendulkar|Vijay Tendulkar]] and I. Together we can claim that we did create a national theatre for modern India.
** {{cite web|url=http://www.india-today.com/itoday/12041999/arts.html|title=Renaissance Man|accessdate=24 November 2013|publisher=India Today}}

* I've had a good life....I have managed to do all I could wish for --even be a government servant. Now I feel whatever time I have left should be spent doing what I like best -- writing plays.
** {{cite web|url=http://www.india-today.com/itoday/12041999/arts.html|title=Renaissance Man|accessdate=24 November 2013|publisher=India Today}}

* What a person understands as his or her [[w:Purushartha|Purusharthas]] could very according to his or her background stageand station in life, sex, etc., as well as the nature of the crisis he or she is facing
** In this, Purushartha means &quot;that which is sought by man; human purpose, aim, or end.&quot; Quoted in{{cite book|last= Sahu||first=Nandini title=The Post-colonial Space: Writing the Self and the Nation|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=xs_tj0tDnnwC&amp;pg=PA59|year=2007|publisher=Atlantic Publishers &amp; Dist|isbn=978-81-269-0777-9|pages=59–}}

* I have been lucky in having multipronged career. You know how I have been an actor, a publisher, a film maker. But in none of these fields have I felt quite as much at home as play writing. 
** {{cite book|last= Sahu||first=Nandini title=The Post-colonial Space: Writing the Self and the Nation|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=xs_tj0tDnnwC&amp;pg=PA59|year=2007|publisher=Atlantic Publishers &amp; Dist|isbn=978-81-269-0777-9|pp=117-18}}

* I was excited by the story of [[w:Yayati|Yayati]]. This exchange of ages between the father and the son, which seemed to be terribly powerful and terribly modern. At the same time I was reading a lot of [[w:Sartre|Sartre]] and the [[w:Existentialist|Existentialist]]. This consistent harping on responsibility which the Existentialist indulge in suddenly seemed to link up with the story of Yayati.
** This story of Yayati from the Mahabhrata  generated interst in him to become a playwright and he explains this here.{{cite book|last= Sahu||first=Nandini title=The Post-colonial Space: Writing the Self and the Nation|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=xs_tj0tDnnwC&amp;pg=PA59|year=2007|publisher=Atlantic Publishers &amp; Dist|isbn=978-81-269-0777-9|p=120}}

* The subject that interests most writers is, of course, themselves and it is easy subject to talk about. But you know it is always easier if you are a poet or a novelist because you are used to talking in your voice. You suspend your whole life talking as writer directly to the audience. The problem is being playwright is that everything that you write is for someone else to say.
** Expressed to R.K.Dhavan, quoted here {{cite book|last= Sahu||first=Nandini title=The Post-colonial Space: Writing the Self and the Nation|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=xs_tj0tDnnwC&amp;pg=PA59|year=2007|publisher=Atlantic Publishers &amp; Dist|isbn=978-81-269-0777-9|p=116}} 

* When people all around us are slaughtered in the name of a [[w:temple|temple]] (and [[w:masjid|masjid]]) I hear echoes from those times long past. 
** Said while producing a picture called Tale danda on the subject of relationship of religion to politics.{{cite book|author=Natesan Sharda Iyer|title=Musings on Indian Writing in English: Drama|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=e2_aFo5sAroC&amp;pg=PA137|date=1 January 2007|publisher=Sarup &amp; Sons|isbn=978-81-7625-801-2|p=135}}

== Quotes about Girish Karnad ==

* Girish Karnad is the foremost playwright of the contemporary Indian stage. He has given the Indian theatre a richness that could probably be equated only with his talents as an actor-director. His contribution goes beyond theater. He had directed feature films, documentaries and television serials in Kannada, Hindi and English and has played leading roles as an actor in Hindi and Kannada art films, commercial movies and television serials. H has represented India in foreign lands as an emissary of art and culture. 
** R.K. Dhawan quoted in {{cite book|last= Sahu||first=Nandini title=The Post-colonial Space: Writing the Self and the Nation|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=xs_tj0tDnnwC&amp;pg=PA59|year=2007|publisher=Atlantic Publishers &amp; Dist|isbn=978-81-269-0777-9|p=115}}

* Karnad is regarded as one of the three great writers of the Contemporary Indian Drama, the other two being Vijay Tendulkar and Badal Sircar. His significant plays include Yayati, Tughlaq, Naga-Mandala, Tale-Danda and Hayavadana.
** Quoted in {{cite book|last= Shukla |first=S. &amp; Anu |title=Multiple Contexts And Insights|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=Dc45cDIQJTUC&amp;pg=PA9|date=1 January 2003|publisher=Sarup &amp; Sons|isbn=978-81-7625-372-7|pages=9–}}

*If calling [[Tagore]] a third rate playwright constitutes freedom of expression, then calling Karnad’s plays as bullshit is also freedom of expression.
**Kumaran Valaven, quoted in the Kannada newspaper Vijaya Vani and by Sandeep Balakrishna, India Facts, [http://indiafacts.org/girish-karnad-medicine/]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

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[[Category:Film directors from India]]
[[Category:1938 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Screenwriters from India]]
[[Category:Actors from India]]
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[[Category:Indian playwrights]]
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    <title>The Lego Movie</title>
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'''''[[w:The Lego Movie|The Lego Movie]]'''''  is a [[w:2014 in film|2014]] [[w:computer animation|computer animated]] [[w:comedy film|comedy film]] about an ordinary LEGO construction worker, thought to be the prophesied &quot;special&quot;, who is recruited to join a quest to stop an evil diabolical tyrant from gluing the LEGO universe into his own selfish vision of perfection.
:''Directed and written by [[w:Phil Lord|Phil Lord]] and [[David Soren]] &amp; Bob Anderson.'' Story by Dan Lin And Kathleen Fleming, Phil Lord and Christopher Miller.''

==Vitruvius==
*''[a red laser is shoots at the Vitruvius eyes to blind and grunts]'' Unh! My eyes! Ow!

== Dialogue ==
:'''Lord Business''': ''[after knocking down Vitruvius Lord Business goes over to the Kragle]'' The Kragle, the most powerful super weapon is mine: ''[he opens the Kragle]'' ''[He opens the case. We see something glowing]'' Oh, the Kragle! ''[laughs evilly as his horns shoot fire]'' Now my evil power will be unlimited! Can you feel me?!
:'''[[w:Robot|Robot]]''': ''[monotone]'' I can feel you. ''[his robots start carrying the Kragle away]''
:'''Lord Business''': WHOO! Nothing's gonna stop me now!
:'''Vitruvius''': ''[weakly to down]'' Wait, there's a prophecy.
:'''Lord Business''': ''[grumbling]'' Oh, ''now'' there's a prophecy.
:'''Vitruvius''': About the Piece of Resistance.
:'''Lord Business''': ''[he turns to Vitruvius]'' Oh, yes, the supposed missing Piece of Resistance that can somehow magically disarm the Kragle, gimme a break! ''[to Lord Business] [Vitruvius rises and turns to face Lord Business, suddenly his eyes shine brightly]'' ''[Gasping]''
:'''Vitruvius''': ''One day a talented lass or fellow, a Special one with face of yellow, will make the Piece of Resistance found from its hiding refuge underground, and with a noble army at the helm, this Master Builder will thwart the Kragle and save the realm, and be the greatest, most interesting, most important person of all times, all this is true, because it rhymes.''
:'''Lord Business''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, wow, that was a great, inspiring legend... that ''you made up.''
:''[Business kicks Vitruvius screaming off the ledge with his giant robot leg]''
:'''Lord Business''': A special one? What a bunch of hippy dippy baloney.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Radio DJ''': ''[he turns on the radio]'' ''Top of the charts again, it's ''everything is awesome''.''
:'''Emmet''': Oh, my gosh! I love this ''Song''! ''[Everything Is Awesome turns on, the music starts playing]'' Always use the turn signal, park between the lines. ''[Emmet and everyone else parks in exactly the same way]'' Yes! Drop off dry cleaning before noon, read the headlines, don't forget to smile. ''[waves and smiles to everyone as he walks down the street]'' 
:'''Paper Boy''': Paper!
:'''Emmet''': Always root for the local sports team. ''[a train full of passengers appear]''
:'''LEGO® Citizens''': Gooooooooo, '''SPORTS TEAM!!'''
:'''Emmet''': Always return a compliment. ''[to the male Lego citizen stepping out of the coffee shop]'' Hey, you look nice! ''[everyone turns to Emmet]''
:'''LEGO® Citizens''': So, do you!
:'''Emmet''': Drink Overpriced Coffee! ''[inside the coffee shop he buys a coffee]''
:'''Larry The Barista''': Here you go, that's $37. ''[Emmet looks at him for a moment before replying with excitement]''
:'''Emmet''': ''[Laughing]'' Awesome! ''[Emmet walks to work with his overpriced coffee following the line of all the other construction workers doing exactly the same]''
:'''Construction Worker''': Did you see ''Where are my Pants?'' last night? ''[everyone laughs and replies at the same time]''
:'''Emmet''': ''[chuckles]'' ''Classic episode!''
:'''Foreman''': ''[Everything is Awesome&quot; continues to play in the background as the Lego construction workers get into position]'' Instructions coming in from central. Okay, it says here that anything that's weird then blow it up! ''[the workers start blowing up the buildings]'' ''['''''BOOM!!!!''''']'' All right, Cylinder-Heads, let's make it look exactly like it does in the Instructions!
:'''Construction Worker #1''': Hey, buddy! I need 1x2 keyhole!
:'''Emmet''': No problem, Michael.
:'''Construction Worker #2''': 2x2 macaroni over here.
:'''Emmet''': 2x2 macaroni flying in! Here's 1, Mel.
:'''Construction Worker #3''': Guys, got a 1x1 with an indented stud on 1 side!
:'''Foreman''': Cheese, look, cheese slopes, come on, everybody!
:'''Emmet''': Roger that, Roger.
:'''Construction Worker #4''': Look alive, coming at you.
:'''Construction Worker #5''': Can I get a couple LURPs over here?
:'''Emmet''': Thanks, Gail.
:'''Construction Worker #6''': Guys, watch me drill this down.
:''[everyone cheers]''
:'''Construction Workers''': ''[they all start singing along to &quot;Everything is Awesome&quot;]''
:'''Emmet''': Man, I feel so good right now! '''I CAN SING THIS SONG FOR HOURS!''' ''[5 hours later]'' ''[everyone at the construction site is still singing &quot;Everything is Awesome&quot; and it's finally coming to the end of the day]''
:'''Barry''': When you're part of a '''''TEAM!''' ['''BOOM!''' everyone cheering]'' Yeah, I'm gonna the sports bar after work tonight, who wants to eat some delicious chicken wings and get ''[Gail laughs] '''CRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZYYYYY?!''' [as the other constructions workers start to leave together, Emmet is left behind and tries to get their attention]''
:'''Emmet''': Chicken wings? I love chicken wings!
:'''Construction Worker #6''': Yeah, who wants to share a croissant with this guy?
:'''Emmet''': Croissants? I love croissants!
:'''Construction Worker #7''': Oh, yeah! I sure do love giant sausages!
:'''Emmet''': Giant sausages, no way! ''[nobody pays Emmet any attention as he tries to join them]'' You know what I love to do? Is share a meal with the special people in my life, Fred, Barry, Gail, me and y...? [Emmet runs into a construction post and falls. A gust of wind blows his instructions away]'' Ah, no guys, wait up! Okay, I'll meet you there! ''[Emmet chases after his instruction manual as the wind continues to carry it off]'' Oh, where did it go? ''[he finds the manual lying on some Lego rubble]'' Oh, there you are. ''[Emmet laughs, relieved, as he retrieves the manual and turns to leave but stops when he hears a whoosh]'' I think I heard a whoosh.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': I feel like maybe I should touch that.
:'''Voice''': ''It's so interesting... Touch the Piece... Touch the Piece... It's so interesting... Touch the Piece...'' ''[Emmet gets up and starts walking over to the giant block]''
:'''Emmet''': Uh... ''[he becomes completely transfixed and steps over his instruction manual]''
:'''Voice''': ''Touch the--''
:''[he slowly extends his hand and touches the block and gets a vision which includes Vitruvius reciting the Piece of Resistance prophecy]''
:'''Vitruvius''': ''A Special one with face of yellow...'' ''[Emmet falls, screaming]'' ''...will make the Piece of Resistance found from its hiding refuge underground...'' ''[Emmet is still falling]'' ''...this Master Builder...'' ''[girl screams]'' ''...will thwart the Kragle and save the realm...''
:'''Wyldstyle''': '''''Come on, Everyone, protect the Special!'''''
:'''Vitruvius''': ''[Emmet then passes out]'' ''...the Special has arisen.''
:'''Boy''': ''It's your turn to be the hero.''
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[as Emmet slowly wakes he hears someone's voice]'' ''[Bad Cop echoes in distorted voice]'' ''Wake up.''
:'''Emmet''': ''[waking up]'' ''[echoes in distorted voice]'' ''Ugh.''
:'''Bad Cop''': ''Come on, wake up! Where are the Master Builders?! How did you find the Piece of Resistance?! Hey?! Where is it?!''
:'''Emmet''': ''[Emmet's wake up out voice interrogating hears as starts to open his eyes]'' ''[in normal voice]'' Good morning, apartment...?
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[in normal voice]'' '''''WAKE UP!''''' ''[an angry looking cop shines a light onto Emmet making him immediately awake]'' 
:'''Emmet''': ''[screams]''
:'''Bad Cop''': How did you find the Piece of Resistance?!
:'''Emmet''': The Piece of what?
:'''Bad Cop''': The Piece of Resistance. ''[Bad Cop grunts, and screams as he falls and finally lands onto the ground, suddenly he knocks a chair aside in anger scaring Emmet, we see Emmet is being held in an interrogation room with his hands shackled to chair]''
:'''Emmet''': ''I- I- I don't, where am I? what's happening?''
:'''Bad Cop''': ''What's happening?'' Playing dumb, Master Builder.
:'''Emmet''': No, I... ''master builder?''
:'''Bad Cop''': Oh, so you've never heard of the prophecy?
:'''Emmet''': No, I...
:'''Bad Cop''': Or the Special?
:'''Emmet''': ''No! No, I...''
:'''Bad Cop''': You're a *liar!* We'll ''kill'' ya. ''[Bad Cop backflips and starts to kick and wrestle a chair]''
:'''Emmet''': Look, um... ''[Bad Cop chuckles]'' I watch a lot of cop shows on TV... ''[Emmet gasps]'' Isn't there supposed to also be a-? Isn't there supposed to be a ''Good Cop''?! ''[Emmet ducks as Bad Cop throws the chair to the wall]''
:'''Bad Cop''': Oh yes. But we're not done yet. ''[switches head]''
:'''[[w:Good Cop|Good Cop]]''': Hi, buddy! [[Spider-Man (2002 film)|I'm your friendly neighborhood police officer!]] Would you like a glass of water?
:'''Emmet''': Yeah, actually that sounds-
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[switches back to his face]'' '''TOO BAAAD!!!''' ''[smacks the glass away]'' ''Security cameras picked up this!'' ''[grunts]'' You were found at the construction site convulsing with a strange piece.
:'''Emmet''': That's disgusting!
:'''Bad Cop''': Then why is it permanently stuck to your back?
:'''Emmet''': ''[peers back, sees that The Piece of Resistance is glued onto his back, and screams in alarm, and tries to get it off]'' Oh no! Aaaah! Ah! Ah! Get off me!! It won't come off, it's chasing me! Look, it's not my fault! I have no idea how this thing got on my back! ''[Bad Cop changes his face to Good Cop]''
:'''Good Cop''': Of course, buddy. I believe you!
:'''Emmet''': Great! ''[suddenly Bad Cop appears beside Emmet]'' ''[Screams]'' Aaaahh!!
:'''Bad Cop''': I &quot;believe&quot; you, too. You see the quotations I'm making with my claw hands? It means I ''don't'' believe you! Why else would you show up with that thing on your back just three days before President Business is going to use the Kragle to end the world?
:'''Emmet''': President Business is gonna end the world? But he's such a good guy. And Octan, they make good stuff: ''[flashback books]'' ''Music, dairy products, coffee, TV shows, surveillance systems, all history books, voting machines...'' ''[flashback ends]'' ...Wait a minute. 
:'''Bad Cop''': Oh no, come on, you ''can't'' be this stupid.
:'''Emmet''': Look, that is a misunderstanding, I'm just a regular, normal, ordinary guy, and I'm late to meet my best friends in the whole world, and they're probably missing me right now, they're probably out looking around! ''Hey, where's Emmet? Hey, where's my best friend Emmet?'' And you know what. Ask all my friends! '''''THEY'LL TELL YOU!!'''''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': ''[Emmet looks devastated; to Bad Cop]'' There you go, I told you I was a nobody.
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[sighs]'' Oh. ''It's the perfect cover.''
:'''Emmet''': Cover? Cover for what?! ''[chuckles]'' Oops. ''[sneezes]''
:'''Bad Cop''': Why are you sneeze?
:'''Emmet''': But I am... ''[sneezes]'' Wow! That is a very sneeze?
:'''Good Cop''': Of course, Bad Cop. I'm not sure gonna be meltin' devices found and guilty too.
:'''Emmet''': President Business I think Taco Tuesday universe will seems third grade perhaps so takes him to the meltin' chambers and then railroad train for wild west?
:'''Good Cop''': Okay, uh...I will think should somewhere.
:'''Bad Cop''': I can't break him. You're Mom and Dad lies. Perhaps should orders melts. [[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987 TV series)|''Take him to the meltin' chambers and do nothing.'']]
:'''Emmet''': What?! ''[into the meltin' chamber Emmet has been straps to the meltin' device with the Bad Cop's face off by Robber and leaves and Wyldstyle destroys robots]'' '''''NOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOO!!''''' ''[turns to the now faceless Bad Cop] [Robber: I say we KILL Bad cop now!]'' You're going to melt me?! What's wrong with me?! Am I gonna die?! Excuse me? You strapper me.
:'''Good Cop''': You'll live! You'll be fine! ''[Bad Cop/Good Cop's phone rings and draws Bad Cop with marker answers it as he switches back to his face]''
:'''Lord Business''': ''[disembodied]'' '''''EVERYONE STOP MESSING WITH MY STUFF??'''''
:'''Bad Cop''': President Business, I have him right here, sir. Yes and no, we've told him he'll live so he doesn't try to escaping, but uh, we're lying to kills him. ''[Bad Cop presses the button to activate the meltin' device and Robber enters the chamber]''
:'''Robber''' (Manny the Mauler): I'll never *tell you*, Bad Cop! ''Never!'' ''[Robber kicks Bad Cop]''
:'''Bad Cop''': Who's says &quot;never&quot;? You're not supposed to thief. ''[sobbing]'' Are you trying to kill me?! ''[leaves the rooms]''
:'''Emmet''': No wait! What did he just say?!
:'''Robot''': Hold still!
:'''Emmet''': No wait, there is obviously been a ''mix-up'' here!? You have got the wrong-- Uh-oh. ''[a blue laser is shoots at Emmet's back to removes the Piece of Resistance]'' OOOOOW!! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ah-ah-ah-eh-eh-eh-oh-oh-oh! ''[Robot: Oops! Sorry, Emmet?]'' This is gonna start hurting pretty soon! ''[as the Robot starts to increase the heat while grinning menacingly, the hooded woman that Emmet had noticed in the construction site earlier appears and attacks the robots, overpowering them all down and goes to Free Emmet]'' No, no, no, nonononono... ''[Emmet closes his eyes as the hooded figure chops his shackles off.]'' ''[gasps]'' Whoa! Who are you?! ''[The figure takes off her hood to reveal her face and Emmet is transfixed again]'' It's you?
:'''[[w:Wyldstyle|Wyldstyle]]''': Come with me, if you wanna not die. ''[just as Emmet goes to grab her hand, Good Cop enters the chamber with a croissant]''
:'''Good Cop''': Hi, ''everybody!'' How's the ''melting'' goi--? ''[as he notices Emmet escaping with Wyldstyle Bad Cop appears]''
:'''Bad Cop''': Hey, hey, hey, heeeeeey!! ''[he starts shooting at Emmet and Wyldstyle, laser destroys melting device]''
:'''Robber''': ''[to Bad Cop]'' '''''DO YOU SEE THE CHAMBER! KILL THEM!'''''
:'''Bad Cop''': [[Toy Story|''Red alert, red alert!'']] I need everyone, repeat, everyone, to go after the ''special!''
:'''Robber''': Bad Cop! I warned you! [[The Rescuers Down Under|''You're grounded melting device entire week'']]! You're FIRED! Give me the money!
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[shocked]'' Who broke my melting device!? President Business, you broke my melting device!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Bad Cop''': [[The Fox and the Hound|There we are! Why are you ''gets on'' my train the piece of resistance]].
:'''Wyldstyle''': Oh, no!
:'''Emmet''': Oops!
:'''Vitruvius''': Holy smokes, you must Lord Business so spirit is ''no'' way out and you must--.
:'''Bad Cop''': [[Air Force One (film)|''Get off'' my train]].
:'''Emmet''': ''No,'' you get off my train.
:'''Bad Cop''': Huh?! Why you little the Piece of Resistance.
:'''Vitruvius''': Hurry up! Go, Emmet! Build the ramp!
:'''Bad Cop''': Nobody gets on my train the piece of resistance.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Wyldstyle''': What the heck?!
:'''Bad Cop''': [[Batman Begins|Rest in pieces]].

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': Hey, um...
:'''Wyldstyle''': Hang on, sir! ''[As they pull away, Bad Cop turns to go after them]''
:'''Bad Cop''': All units, cut them off on Elm, now! ''[suddenly his face changes to Good Cop]''
:'''Good Cop''': ''[Good Cop spins in]'' ''[gasping and chuckling]'' Or, whenever you can?
:'''Robot''': ''Ten-Four, Bad Cop.''
:'''Emmet''': ''[Many squad cars block the road, as they are being chased and shut at]'' Watch out!
:'''Wyldstyle''': Hold on! ''[she jumps the bike bunny hopping over one squad car and going up onto the monorail platform and onto the track, and screaming. Wyldstyle manages to avoid hitting the police cars in front of them]'' We need to meet up with ''Vitruvius'' and tell him the Piece has been found.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Emmet''': Huh?
:'''Bad Cop''': They're up on the monorail. Release the Copper Choppers. ''[the helicopter above them drops down a motorcycle with two cops in it, a police helicopter flies in dropping a robot on a motorcycle, both Emmet and Wyldstyle gasp, which begins to drive towards Emmet and the girl, firing a green laser as he goes, Emmet shields himself from the fire but the girl, pulls out a multi barrelled laser and returns fire, just as they were about to crash, the figure veers off leaving the robots to crash head-on with a train]''
:'''Emmet''': Oh, no! ''[causing a massive explodes, and screaming. He they start shooting at Wyldstyle and Emmet but Wyldstyle shoots back and manages to get their motorcycle onto the street below, they land safely]'' Will you please tell me what's happening?
:'''Wyldstyle''': I'm rescuing you, sir. You're the one that the prophecy spoke of. You're the Special.
:'''Emmet''': ''[Whispers]'' Me?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Bad Cop''': Darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, ''darny-DARN!!!!!''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Bad Cop''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Robber''': ''Never!''
:'''Bad Cop''': You've gonna get us killed!
:'''Lord Business''': Although, you did let the Piece of Resistance go. The one thing that can ruin my plans, the one thing that I asked you to take care of! ''[Lord Business chuckles and he comes over to Bad Cop and puts one arm around his shoulder]'' That's super frustrating, it makes me just wanna pick up whoever's standing closest to me and just: '''''THROW THEM THROUGH THIS WINDOW, AND OUT INTO THE INFINITE ABYSS OF NOTHINGNESS!!!!!!!''''' ''[Bad Cop: Ouch! What?!] [he picks up Bad Cop takes him to the large glass window and bangs his head against it]'' I wanna do it so bad! ''[chuckles and Bad Cop]''
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[chuckles]'' I know you do, sir! But, please! Please, don't! ''[he throws Bad Cop aside]''
:'''Lord Business''': And it's not just you, Bad Cop, ''[Bad Cop: Unh!]'' that keeps messing up my plans. People everywhere are always messing with my stuff. ''[Bad Cop: Huh? What? Why?]'' But I have a way to fix that. A way to keep things exactly the way they are supposed to be permanently. ''[he turns on his TV monitor which shows his robots carrying the box containing the Kragle]'' Behold the most powerful weapon of all the relics: ''[his robots open the box containing the Kragle and take it out]'' '''THE KRAGLE!!!''' ''[we see the Kragle is in fact an old tube of Krazy Glue, Bad Cop gasping and Lord Business]'' Well, as you can see they're loading the Kragle into a big machine upstairs. I call it: ''The &quot;Tentacle Arm Kragle Outside Sprayer&quot;'', or ''TAKOS''! The &quot;S&quot; is silent. So on Taco Tuesday it's going to spray the Kragle over everyone and everything with a bunch of super scary nozzles, like this one. ''[the tentacle reaches out and comes over to Bad Cop]'' I'll show you how it works.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Good Cop''': No, I don't want to!
:'''Bad Cop''': You have ''to''.
:'''Good Cop''': I don't want to!
:'''Bad Cop''': Will please be quiet?!
:'''Good Cop''': I can't!
:'''Bad Cop''': You've must?!
:'''Good Cop''': But they--
:'''Bad Cop''': ''Shut it''!
:'''Good Cop''': It's not nice!
:'''Bad Cop''': It's ''your job'' man!?
:'''Good Cop''': It's my job!
:'''Bad Cop''': Lord Business trying to talk?
:'''Good Cop''': I can't do it, they innocent!?
:'''Lord Business''': Just as I thought. You're Good Cop side's making you soft, Bad Cop. Robots, bring me the fleece crested scepter of Q-teep and ''Po-Leesh Remover of Nai-eel!'' ''[the robots bring him a big Q-tip and nail polish remover and Lord Business deeps one end into the polish before turning to Bad Cop]'' You've already let the ''special'' get away once. ''[two of the robots hold Bad Cop]''
:'''Bad Cop''': Sir, ''you're never get away of this.''
:'''Lord Business''': I'm just gonna make sure it doesn't happen again, ''[the robots switch Good Cop in, one of the robots turns Bad Cop's face to Good Cop]'' '''''NO MORE MR. NICE GUY!!!''''' ''[he brings the Q-Tip onto Good Cop's face, suddenly Lord Business uses the end of the Q-tip with nail polish remover to wipe Good Cop's face off, after two scrubs back and forth, there's nothing left]''
:'''Emmet''': ''[disembodied]'' No!
:'''Ma Cop''': ''[starts to weep]'' Oh, son!
:'''Pa Cop''': ''[shocked]'' Son, ''no!''
:'''Lord Business''': On Taco Tuesday, I'm going to kraglize the entire universe so that [[Monsters, Inc.|'''''EVERYONE WILL STOP MESSING WITH MY STUFF??''''']] ''[turns to he now faceless Good Cop]''
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[disembodied] You're never get away of this!''
:'''Lord Business''': Are you gonna be with me or are you [[Alice in Wonderland (1951 film)|'''''GONNA BE STUCK HAVIN’ A TEA PARTY WITH YOUR MOM AND DAD??''''']]
:'''Emmet''': ''[disembodied] No!''
:'''Pa Cop''': Son?
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[The now faceless Good Cop stands back up, only to switch to Bad Cop]'' Sorry, Dad. [[Tomorrow Never Dies|I've a job to do]]. ''[he uses the TAKOS device to completely glue his parents, the nozzle powers up, he presses a button and the TAKOS fires completely freezing them solid]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Vitruvius''': Well, Junebug, I really prefer the word &quot;experienced&quot;! ''[Vitruvius attacks the robots, Master Builders cheers]'' Ha-ha! You see, Emmet, a corrupted spirit is ''no match'' for the purity of imaginat-- ''[suddenly Lord Business hits Vitruvius with a three nickels, then Batman, Wyldstyle &amp; Emmet gasps]''
:'''Emmet''': Vitruvius! NO!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Wyldstyle''': ''[to Emmet as they make their way through the saloon]'' Okay, let's find the wizard and get this over with. ''[as they make their way through, the patrons look at Emmet menacingly]'' ''[Emmet gasps, yelps] [Wyldstyle notices Vitruvius playing the piano at the saloon]'' Psst. There he is. ''[she goes over to him]'' Vitruvius.
:'''Vitruvius''': Who? I've never heard of that man, whom I am not. Who are you?
:'''Wyldstyle''': It's me.
:'''Vitruvius''': I am a blind man, and cannot see.
:'''Wyldstyle''': It's Wyldstyle. 
:'''Vitruvius''': Are you a DJ? ''[gasps]'' 
:'''Wyldstyle''': No, why does everyone...?
:'''Vitiruvius''': Wait, wait, were you the student I used to have who was so insecure she kept changing her name? Yeah, first Dark Storm... Then Gemini, then there was Neversmile--- Then Freak Face... Then Snazzypants... ''[suddenly Vitruvius stops playing and turns to Wyldstyle]'' Meet me upstairs in 10-Seconds. ''[he then turns and starts to walk off using his, Vitruvius grunts as he falls and finally lands onto the ground, scepter when suddenly he bangs into the wall]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': Step one: Alright, we need a blue two-piece unit over at the...

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Wyldstyle''': That would be great, but ''Emmet'' is the one who found the Piece. ''[Emmet turns and waves he chuckles]''
:'''Vitruvius''': ''[gasps]'' Oh, okay. ''[turning to Emmet]'' Emmet, the prophecy states that... you're ''the special'', the most talented--
:'''Wyldstyle''': I'm not sure he's the Special, actually--''[Emmet's started chuckles]''--because he's not even a Master Builder. Watch! Emmet, just given what's around you, build something simple!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': ''[Vitruvius goes over to Emmet and puts his hands against Emmet's head]'' Uh, what are you doing? ''[suddenly Vitruvius pulls off Emmet's hair revealing his Lego head]''
:'''Vitruvius''': We are entering your mind.
:'''Emmet''': '''''WHAT?!?!?!'''''
:'''Vitruvius''': ...to prove that you have to unlock the potential to be a Master Builder, ''ujjayi breath!'' ''[Vitruvius chants in magical language]'' ''Shut your face, a found ''The Dog''!'' ''[Vitruvius and Wyldstyle start bowing and moving around Emmet until finally we see all of them in Emmet's mind which is a vast empty space]'' 
:'''Emmet''': ''[echoing]'' ''Whoa, are we inside my brain right now? It's big. I must be smart.''
:'''Wyldstyle''': ''[echoing]'' ''Hmmmmm.''
:'''Vitruvius''': ''[echoing]'' ''I'm not hearing a lot of activity here.''
:'''Wyldstyle''': ''I don't think he's ever had an original thought in his life.''
:'''Emmet''': ''[chuckles]'' ''That's not true. For instance, one time I wanted to have a bunch of my friends over to watch TV.'' ''[suddenly a TV forms behind him]'' ''Not unlike this TV that just showed up magically. And not everybody could fit on my one couch.'' ''[a couch forms behind him]'' ''And I thought to myself, well, what if there’s such a thing as a bunk bed, but as a couch?'' ''[suddenly the couch forms into a double decker couch]'' ''Introducing ''the double decker couch'': So everyone could watch TV, together and be buddies!'' ''[dead silence]''
:'''Wyldstyle''': ''That's literally the dumbest thing I've ever heard.''
:'''Vitruvius''': ''Please, Wyldstyle. Lemme handle this, that idea is just the worst.'' ''[to Emmet]'' 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Vitruvius''': This is Middle Zealand. A wondrous land full of knights, castles, muttons, torture weapons, poverty, leeches, illiteracy, and um...
:'''Emmet''': ''[Out of the sun flying straight towards them is a...]'' '''''DRAGON!!!''''' ''[The Batwing takes dive as the dragon swoops down]''
:'''Vitruvius''': Yeah, that too. ''[Batman quickly turns the Batwing back into the Batmobile and lands the car into a forest area, it speeds along the track, Batman makes his aircraft transform into a car and lands on the ground and drives through the woods]'' Once we arrive in Cloud Cuckoo Land, we'll raise an army of Master Builders...
:'''Batman''': Yeah, yeah, anyway. You guys gotta check out these new subwoofers I installed in the back, I call them ''The Dogs.'' Listen to them bark! ''[Batman turns on some music, sending heavy metal blasting through Emmet and Vitruvius, bouncing them and the roof of the Batmobile up and down, Emmet screams he turns on his stereo making Emmet and Vitruvius jump in the back]''
:'''Emmet''': Can you turn that down a little bit?!
:'''Batman''': This is a song I wrote for Wyldstyle! ''[Wyldstyle smiles at Batman before singing with the song, we hear Batman's voice as he sings to the heavy metal music]'' ''Darkness!'' ''[to Emmet and Vitruvius]'' It's about how I'm an orphan! ''[the song continues]'' ''No parents!''
:'''Wyldstyle''': ''[Wyldstyle turns to Emmet]'' This is real music, Emmet. Batman's a true artist. Dark, brooding.
:'''Emmet''': Well, I'm dark and brooding too! ''[Emmet gasps, suddenly he notices something ahead]'' Look, a rainbow! ''[as they reach the rainbow]''
:'''Vitruvius''': So, you're gonna drive up the curved part, ''['''Batman''': ''Super rich!'']'' take it all the way to the top ''['''Batman''': ''Kinda makes it better!'']'' and park the car. ''[the Batmoblie stops, Batman drives up the rainbow and stops the car at the very top]'' Friends, welcome to Cloud Cuckoo Land. ''[an angelic chord plays as the camera pans down to the group standing in front of a rather large cloud, the rainbow disappears and they are surrounded by clouds]'' Now, I just need to give the secret knock.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': ''[Emmet gasps]'' Is that [[Superman]]?
:'''[[Statue of Liberty]]''': Bonjour.
:'''Superman''': Girl, what are you doing right now?
:'''[[Green Lantern]]''': ''[appears from behind Emmet]'' Hey, Superman!
:'''Superman''': Oh, hey... Hey, what's up?
:'''Green Lantern''': ''[fixing his mask]'' Lantern. Green Lantern.
:'''Superman''': Yeah, yeah.
:'''Green Lantern''': Do you wanna sit together at the meeting?
:'''Superman''': Uh, I have to, I have to go back to Krypton. ''[Superman quickly flies off]''
:'''Green Lantern''': ''[the camera pans to Vitruvius addressing the room at large]'' Did didn't Krypton blow up?
:'''Vitruvius''': My fellow, Master Builders, including, but not limited to: [[Robin Hood]], Mermaid Lady, Gandalf, Swamp Creature, 1980-something Space Guy... ''['''Benny''': 'Hello!']'' ...2002 NBA All Stars and Wonder Woman. You have traveled far to be here for a moment of great import. We have learned that Lord Business plans to unleash a fully-weaponized Kragle on Taco Tuesday, to end the world as we know it. ''[the Master Builders express their shock and outrage]'' Please, calm yourselves. Green Ninja, Milhouse, Nice Vampire, [[Michelangelo]], [[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles|Michelangelo]] and [[Cleopatra]]. There is yet one hope, the Special has arisen.
:''[he steps aside to reveal Emmet while hushed murmurs spread around]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Superman''': ''IT DIDN'T BREAK!''
:'''Bad Cop''': Because it's Kragled. ''[to his robots]'' Machine gum! Fire! ''[they shoot at Superman with chewing gum making him splat to the ground stuck in the gum]''
:'''Superman''': ''[screams]'' I can't move.
:'''Green Lantern''': Don't worry, Superman! I'll get you out of there. ''[as Green Lantern goes to rescue Superman his hands get stuck in the gum and screams]'' Oh, my gosh! My hands are stuck! ''[he wriggles his legs and those get stuck in the gum too]'' My legs are stuck as well!
:'''Superman''': I super hate you.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': ''[as the robots have got hold of Emmet] '''OW, YOU'RE PULLING MY TORSO OFF!!'''''
:'''Wyldstyle''': Babe, help me get him out of here!
:'''Batman''': I said ''every man for himself.''
:'''Wyldstyle''': Hey, you gotta be there for me. ''[Batman groans as he falls and finally lands onto the ground]''
:'''Batman''': Fine! Fine, fine, fine! ''[reluctantly he goes to her aide and fights off the robots attacking Emmet]'' Fine, fine, fine, fine!
:'''Wyldstyle''': I need you to have a better attitude about it!
:'''Batman''': I've a great attitude! ''[Batman gets the tracker off Emmet and throws it at one of the robots]''
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[Bad Cop picks up Emmet's tracker which is now attached to the robot]'' The Special's in the northwest quadrant, we've got him corner! ''[he looks down but all he sees is the robot with the tracker attached to his head smacking into a wall]'' Where did he go?
:'''Unikitty''': Oh, no! They've hit our silly cloud stabilizer!
:'''Wyldstyle''': Let's go, we need to get Emmet outta here!
:'''Emmet''': Can't we build something? ''[suddenly the space guy comes over to them]''
:'''Benny''': Hey, I'm Ben! But you can call me Benny! And I can build a spaceship. Watch this. ''[he starts building a spaceship and chanting along as he works]'' ''[Benny singing] Spaceship, spaceship, spaceship, spaceship! Spaceshi--!''
:'''Wyldstyle''': No, no, no, no! You can't, the skies are surrounded.
:'''Benny''': That's okay, I didn't really wanna build a spaceship. ''[Benny chuckles]'' Anyway, that's cool. ''[Groaning]'' ''[looking visibly disappointed he kicks his half built spaceship and it falls apart]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[the group takes the submarine towards the water as Bad Cop at his robots are chasing after them]'' Stop him, stop him! ''[suddenly the submarine goes off the edge of a cloud and plunges down]'' Don't let him get to the water! ''[as they get closer to the water]''
:''[Wyldstyle screams as he falls and finally lands onto the ground]''
:'''Wyldstyle''':  Dive, dive, dive! Everybody in! We're going under!
:''[A submarine splashes, the submarine plunges into the water. A chair splashes]''
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[grunts]''
:''[We hear muffled screams and we then see Cloud Cuckoo Land being destroyed by the robots and the Master Builders handcuffed and taken as prisoners]''
:'''Wonder Woman''': Oh, no.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Batman''': ''[he trails off hoping for any positive comments]'' You are so disappointing on so many levels.
:'''Vitruvius''': Why are my pants cold and wet? ''[A shot of water rising in the sub]'' Uh...
:'''Computer''': ''[a wall is breached and even more water floods in]'' ''Hull breach!''
:'''Unikitty''': The walls are crying!
:'''Benny''': ''[as she tries to plug a hole]'' We're falling apart at the seams! ''[screams]'' ''[as the submarine starts to fall apart]''
:'''Batman''': This is not how Batman dies!
:''[Emmet screams, as the submarine fills with water Emmet starts to drown. Wyldstyle reaches for him]''
:'''Wyldstyle''': '''Emmet!''' Hold on, hold on!
:'''Emmet''': '''Wyldstyle!'''
:''[the shot goes to outside the sub, red lights coming from the windows as it goes through the water as an alarm beeps faster and faster signalling a detonation]''
:'''Wyldstyle''': '''Deep breath!''' ''[gasps]'' '''Deep breath, everybod--!!'''
:''[the sub explodes, the camera follows a floating piece of debris to the surface]''
:''[where Bad Cop and a few Micro Managers are looking around]''
:'''Bad Cop''': Micro-Managers, what's going on down there?
:'''Micro-Manager''': ''Scanning submarine wreckage. No survivors detected.''
:'''Bad Cop''': Scuba Cops? Dredge the entire ocean if you have to, we've go to find that piece, ''[Scuba Cops dive in the water to begin their search]'' let's get these prisoners back to Lord Business and give him the good news: &quot;the Special is no more&quot;! ''[they all depart from the wreckage]''
:'''Bank Robber''': That's it, you're Bad Cop's face off right now! I'll never tell you again!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': Okay. :''[Emmet walks up to the platform and waves to everyone. Clears his throat]'' Hello, I'm Emmet. [referring to the Piece of Resistance] Oh, and this is the Piece of Resistance.
:''[the Master Builders cheer. Wyldstyle watches in bewilderment]''
:'''Emmet''': Thank you. Well, eeeeehhhh. I know that I for one am very excited to work with you guys, to get into the Octan Tower, find the Kragle and put this thing on the thing, and I know it's going to be really hard, but... ''[suddenly gets interrupted by another Master Builder]''
:'''Metalbeard''': &lt;big&gt;'''REALLY HARD?!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[the audience gasps]'' Wiping ye bum with a hook for a hand is really hard, this be impossible! The last time we tried to storm Lord Business's office, we used every plan we could conceive, the result was a massacre too terrible to speak of.
:'''Emmet''': Who are you?
:'''Metalbeard''': The name be Metal Beard, and I'll tell you me tale of woe.
:'''Vitruvius''': Oh, great. Here we go again. [Metal Beard recounts his failed attempt in trying to infiltrate Lord Business's office]
:'''Metalbeard''': I arrived at the foot of the tower with me hearty Master Builder crew, only to find the Kragle was all the way up on the infinitieth floor guarded by a robot army. And security measures of every kind imaginable, lasers, sharks, laser sharks, overbearing assistants, and strange dangerous relics that entrap, snap and zap. And there be a mysterious room called &quot;The Think Tank.&quot; I barely made it out of that room with just me head... [Metalbeard hops out of the tower with his head and escapes on his ship as it purrs away] ...and organs! [Metalbeard's organs pop out of the Octan tower and land in his ship and it purrs away again]
:'''Emmet''': ''[disturbed]'' Okay.
:'''Metalbeard''': I had to replace every part of my once strapping virile pirate body with this useless hunk of garbage ye see before ye. ''[to Emmet]'' So if ye think it'd be a good idea to return to that foresaken place, Special, what idea have ye that be better than the ideas of-100-of our fallen Master Builder brothers?
:'''Emmet''': Well, technically I'm not exactly a Master Builder yet.
:'''Metalbeard''': &lt;big&gt;'''WHAT?!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[the other Master Builders shout in outrage]''
:'''Emmet''': Please, everyone, everyone! please.
:'''[[William Shakespeare]]''': ''[throws a pizza]'' Rubbish!
:'''Emmet''': [addressing the Master Builders] Yes, it's true, I may not be a Master Builder, I may not have a lot of experience fighting or leading or coming up with plans, or having ideas in general, in fact, I'm not all that smart, and I'm not what you'd call a creative type, plus, generally unskilled, also, scared and cowardly, I know what, you're thinking? &quot;He is the least qualified person in the world to lead us!&quot; And, you are right!
:'''Swamp Creature''': This is supposed to make us feel better?
:'''Emmet''': What th-? No, there was about to be a but...
:'''Gandalf''': You're a butt!
:'''Dumbledore''': Yes.
:''[Outside Cloud Cuckoo Land, Metalbeard and a few knights and cowboys are leaving]''
:'''Metalbeard''': You all be on your own! I be leaving this lost cause! [Metalbeard jumps onto his ship and sails off Cuckoo Land, as it purrs]
:'''Emmet''': Why are you leaving?!
:'''[[Abraham Lincoln]]''': A house divided against itself would be better than this. [Lincoln jumps into his seat and it suddenly takes off like a spaceship]
:'''Emmet''': Abraham Lincoln, you bring your space chair right back here! Come on, guys! [nearly gets hit by a falling object] We can still do this! [another Master Builder throws a blue disc at him] Oh! Right?
:'''Master Builder 1''': You're not even a bit special.
[Wyldstyle, Batman and Unikitty sadly watch]
:'''Batman''': [Batman whispering to Wyldstyle as they watch Emmet] Well, you were right about him being a ding-dong. [the Master Builders continue to jeer and throw things at Emmet]
:'''Master Builder 2''': You're a huge disappointment!
[Emmet, sad and disappointed, turns and starts walking off]
'''Master Builder 3''': Get him out of here, I don't wanna look at him!
:'''Emmet''': Well, at least it can't get any worse.
:Master Builder 4''': Special? Not! 
:''[A giant golf ball suddenly falls out of nowhere, destroying the Dog]'':
:'''Emmet''': I was wrong.
:''[Emmet yells and runs away as the falling ball falls onto the ground, goes through the eye of the dog and squishes an Island Warrior Master Builder]''
:'''Superman''': It's the orb of ''Tee-te-list''.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Superman''': All the Master Builders you've captured over the years, you brought them here!
:'''Lord Business''': You're a very perceptive person, Superman, they come up with all the instructions for everything in the universe: '''ROBOTS!''', ''Beep'' ''[the robots strap a device to Superman's head]''
:'''Superman''': ''No, no!'' ''[groans] [screaming]'' NO!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! ''[shudders, then his chair shoots up to the top]'' Can't get much worse than this.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Benny chuckles and we see the double decker couch floating on the sea and suddenly Emmet and the others pop out of their hiding place from under the flip up seats]''
:'''Vitruvius''': Well, we're still alive.
:'''Unikitty''': '''''YEAH!!!'''''
:'''Wyldstyle''': ''[gasps]'' The double decker couch! It wasn't totally pointless after all!
:'''Benny''': ''[to Emmet]'' It's the one thing that stayed together.
:'''Vitruvius''': I always believed in you, Emmet.
:'''Batman''': I don't mean to spoil the party, but does anyone else notice we're stuck in the middle of the ocean on this couch? I mean, it's not like a big gigantic ship is just gonna come out of nowhere and save us. ''[suddenly a big gigantic ship becomes visible as it comes over to them]'' My, gosh!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Batman''': Well, it's kind of hard not to hear when you're yelling everything.
:'''Unikitty''': ''[laughs]'' So, why did you come back?
:'''Metalbeard''': This bedoubled land couch. ''[Everyone turns to look at Emmet's double decker couch]'' I watched Lord Business's forces completely overlook it. Which means we need more ideas like it!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': What's the last thing Lord Business would expect Master Builders to do?
:'''Benny''': Build a spaceship?
:'''Vitruvius''': Kill a chicken?
:'''Unikitty''': Marry a marshmallow!
:'''Metalbeard''': Why, this. ''[changes into a singing face: ♪Hum hum hum How ya gonna keep them down at the farm?♪♪]''
:'''Emmet''': No! It's follow the instructions.
:''[Everybody groans and complains]''
:'''Benny''': Don't like that.
:'''Unikitty''': Sounds weird.
:'''Emmet''': No, wait guys. Listen. You guys are so talented and imaginative... but you can't work as a team. I'm just a construction worker, but when I have a plan and we were working together, we could build a skyscraper. Now you guys are Master Builders. Just imagine what you could do if you did that! ...You could save the universe!
:'''Vitruvius''': Well said, Emmet. Well said.
:'''Emmet''': Really?
:'''Metalbeard''': She be a fine speech there, laddie.
:'''Emmet''': Okay. Somebody get me some markers... some construction paper... and some GLITTER GLUE!!! ''[Emmet stands in front of the instructions he's drawn]'' ''I call this, ''Emmet's plan to get inside the tower, put the Piece of Resistance on the Kragle and save the world'', I've built a hundred just like them back in the city, if we could just get in there, I know where all the air ducts and wiring are located, I can get us anywhere.''
:'''Vitruvius''': How will we get inside?
:'''Emmet''': ''[Whispers]'' In a spaceship!
:'''Benny''': '''SPACESHIP!''' ''[Benny chuckles and rushes off excitedly to build a spaceship]''
:'''Batman''': Great idea, a Bat spaceship.
:'''Emmet''': No, they're expecting us to show up in a Bat spaceship, or a pirate spaceship, or a rainbow sparkled spaceship.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Wylstyle''': Bad Cop?
:'''Bad Cop''': I hope there's still a Good Cop in me somewhere. ''[draw a new face for Good Cop with a red marker]''
:'''Scribble Cop''': I'll hold these guys off. You go stop 'em. Yay!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': You... don't have to be... the bad guy. You are the most talented... most interesting... and extraordinary person in the universe. And you are capable of amazing things, because you are the Special.
:''[Lord Business looks shocked and lowers the Kragle]'' 
:'''Emmet''': And so am I, and so is everyone, the prophecy is made up, but it's also true, it's about all of us, right now, it's about you, and you, still, can change everything.
:''[he holds up the Piece of Resistance. Business, touched by Emmet's speech drops the Kragle and starts walking over to him. Cut to  the real world where Finn's father approaches his son, kneels down and hugs Finn, at the same time in Lego world, we see Lord Business is hugging Emmet.]''
:'''Emmet''': Oh, we got a hugger. ''[Emmet hands the Piece of Resistance to Lord Business]'' Be careful, I have been told... it might explode.
:''[Lord Business winks at Emmet, makes his way to the Kragle, in the real world Finn's father places the lid on the Krazy Glue, at the same time Lord Business places the Piece of Resistance on to the Kragle and into the TAKO device]''
:'''Lord Business''': ''[strains, exhales deeply]'' Emmet, thank you. And I just want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, from this moment forward, I solemnly promise that I will never--
:'''Emmet''': ''[screaming]''
:''[suddenly the Kragle explodes causing all the micro-managers and nozzles to de-activate. Emmet lands in the middle of the city where his friends are.]''
:'''Benny''': '''''EMMET!'''''
:'''Metalbeard''': '''''Emmet, arr!'''''
:'''Emmet''': ''[Chuckling]'' Hey, everyone! Is everyone, okay. Where's Lucy? ''[Unikitty laughs, as the micro-managers fall down]'' ''[Wyldstyle comes up from under a micro-manager]''
:'''Wyldstyle''': Emmet!
:'''Emmet''': Lucy! ''[Emmet rushes over to her and Wyldstyle jumps into his arms]''
:'''Wyldstyle''': We did it! ''[Unikitty laughs]'' ''[Batman clears throat. Just as Emmet and Wyldstyle are about to hold hands Batman interrupts them]'' ''[Emmet gasps]'' Oh, eeehhh. Emmet, wait, Batman, there's something I need to say to you!
:'''Batman''': No, Wyldstyle. I mean, Lucy! ''[he points to Emmet]'' He's the hero you deserve!
:'''Wyldstyle''':  ''[Wyldstyle smiles and Emmet looks behind him to see who Batman was pointing at]'' Thanks, Batman! 
:'''Unikitty''': ''[giggles]'' 
:''[Wyldstyle turns Emmet's face towards her and they finally hold hands as everyone cheers for them. We see Vitruvius's ghostly form hovering over the city watching them]''
:'''Vitruvius''': ''[breaking the fourth wall]'' I liked Emmet ''before'' he was cool. ''[we see Business is pouring an antidote to unstick everybody]''
:'''President Business''': Whoops! I have the antidote for the Kragle! How did that happen
:''[at the same time in the real world Finn's father is pouring glue remover all over the Lego pieces as Finn watches]''
:'''Finn''': ''De-kragler!''
:'''The Man Upstairs''': Watch this. YEAH! ''[as Finn's father pours glue remover onto Pa and Ma Cop Finn reunites Bad Cop with his parents]''
:'''Finn''':  Oh, Mommy, Daddy, you're okay!
:''[scene changes to Bad Cop reunited with his parents]''
:'''Ma Cop''': ''[Ma Cop chuckles]'' Oh, son! ''[Bad Cop who's now using his drawn on Good Cop face hugs his parents]''
:'''Good Cop''': Hi, Mom, hi, Dad.
:'''Pa Cop''': ''[chuckles]'' We're okay, son. ''[Pa Cop chuckles, in the real world as Finn and his father are playing with the Lego pieces Mom calls out]''
:'''Mom''': ''[calls out]'' Hey, guys? Time to come up for dinner! It’s Taco Tuesday, your favorite!
:'''The Man Upstairs''': Okay, honey, well, be up in a sec.
:'''Finn''': Oh, yeah, we'll be up in a sec!
:'''The Man Upstairs''': I got to tell you something.
:'''Finn''':  What?
:'''The Man Upstairs''': Now that I'm letting you come down here and play, guess who else gets to come down here and play?
:'''Finn''': Who?
:'''The Man Upstairs''': Your sister.
:'''Finn''': ''[surprised]'' What?
:''[last lines; as everyone Emmet and the gang are having a feast on the Double-Decker couch]''
:'''Emmet''': We'll things sure have a way of working out smoothly. Am I right, guys? ''[suddenly an alien spaceship hovers above them]'' Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat...?
:''[a trio of [[w:Duplo|Duplo]] alien figures descend into the Lego world]''
:'''Duplo''': ''[Baby voice]'' ''Well, we're from the planet Duplon, and we're here to destroy you.''
:'''Emmet''': ... Oh, man. ''[End of The Lego Movie]''

== Cast == 
* [[w:Chris Pratt|Chris Pratt]] as Emmet Brickowski
* [[Will Ferrell]] as President Business/Lord Business/The Man Upstairs (Finn's Father)
* [[w:Elizabeth Banks|Elizabeth Banks]] as Wyldstyle/Lucy
* [[Will Arnett]] as [[w:Batman|Lego Batman]]
* [[w:Nick Offerman|Nick Offerman]] as Metal Beard
* [[w:Alison Brie|Alison Brie]] as Princess Unikitty
* [[w:Charlie Day|Charlie Day]] as Benny
* [[w:Liam Neeson|Liam Neeson]] as Bad Cop/Good Cop/Pa Cop
* [[w:Michael Bell|Michael Bell]] as Robber (2022 release by Universal Pictures)
* [[Morgan Freeman]] as Vitruvius
* [[w:Jadon Sand|Jadon Sand]] as Finn
* [[w:Melissa Sturm|Melissa Sturm]] as Gail/Ma Cop
* [[Anthony Daniels]] as [[w:C-3PO|C-3PO]]
* [[Shaquille O'Neal|Shaquille O'Neal as himself]]
* [[Jake Johnson]] as Barry
* [[w:Robbie Daymond|Robbie Daymond]] as Randy (Uncredited)
* [[w:David Franco|Dave Franco]] as Wally
* [[w:Keegan-Michael Key|Keegan-Michael Key]] as Foreman Jim
* [[w:Will Forte|Will Forte]] as [[Abraham Lincoln|Lego Abraham Lincoln]]
* [[w:Jorma Taccone|Jorma Taccone]] as [[William Shakespeare|Lego William Shakespeare]]/Sheriff Not a Robot
* [[w:David Burrows|David Burrows]] as Octan Robot and Super Secret Police Robots
* [[w:Chris Romano|Chris Romano]] as [[w:Plumber|Plumber]] Joe
* [[w:Amanda Farinos|Amanda Farinos]] as Mom
* [[w:Chris McKay|Chris McKay]] as Larry the [[w:Barista|Barista]]
* [[w:Todd Hansen|Todd Hansen]] as [[w:Gandalf|Gandalf]]/Swamp Creature 
* [[w:Doug Nicholas|Doug Nicholas]] as [[w:Surfer|Surfer]] Dave/Micro Managers
* [[w:Chris Paluszek|Chris Paluszek]] as [[w:Robot|Robot]] [[w:Foreman|Foreman]]
* [[w:Kelly Lafferty|Kelly Lafferty]] as Lord Business' Assistant
* [[w:Graham Miller|Graham Miller]] as Lego [[w:Duplo|Duplo]]
* [[w:Leiki Veskimets|Leiki-Veskimets]] as Octan [[w:Computer|Computer]]
* [[w:Phil Lord and Chris Miller|Chris Miller]] as [[w:TV Presenter|TV Presenter]]

== Release date ==
{| class=&quot;wikitable&quot;
! Laser Pointer !! No. !! Studio !! co-released it with Warner Bros. Pictures&lt;br&gt;and Warner Animation Group
|-
| Violet (Purple) || 5-piece || Amazon Studios (August 29, 2026)&lt;br&gt;Paramount+ (April 2027)&lt;br&gt;Paramount || May 19, 2015 (DVD/Blu-ray/Blu-ray 3D)&lt;br&gt;May 24, 2016 (4K Ultra HD Blu-ray)
|-
| Brown || 6-piece || Starz/Anchor Bay || December 1, 2015
|-
| Yellow || 1-piece || Sony Wonder (April 2025)&lt;br&gt;Amazon Studios (July 2028)&lt;br&gt;Columbia Pictures&lt;br&gt;Sony Pictures Animation || August 2, 2016
|-
| Black || 7-piece || Shout Factory || November 1, 2016
|-
| Gray || 11-piece || Lionsgate in association with&lt;br&gt;Artisan's Family Home Entertainment || October 17, 2017
|-
| White || 10-piece || Kino Lorber || January 2, 2018
|-
| Green || 3-piece || Disney+ (May 2027)&lt;br&gt;Disney/Pixar (November 2025)&lt;br&gt;Hulu (September 2029)&lt;br&gt;20th Century Fox&lt;br&gt;Blue Sky Studios || March 13, 2018&lt;br&gt;April 11, 2023 (Disney Movie Club)
|-
| Pink || 9-piece || MGM/United Artists Releasing || August 6, 2019
|-
| Orange || 8-piece || A24 || December 22, 2020
|-
| Blue || 2-piece || Peacock TV (December 2026)&lt;br&gt;Universal Pictures || September 20, 2022 (Studio Distribution Services)
|-
| Gold || 12-piece || PBS || November 14, 2023
|-
| Aqua Blue || 13-piece || Orion Studios || July 9, 2024
|-
| Silver || 14-piece || Netflix/Netflix Animation || November 4, 2025
|}

== External links ==
* {{imdb title| id=1490017| title=The Lego Movie }}

{{DEFAULTSORT:LEGO Movie, The}}

{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:2014 films]]
[[Category:2010s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero films]]
[[Category:Dystopian films]]
[[Category:Films based on toys]]
[[Category:The Lego Movie]]
[[Category:American films with live action and animation]]</text>
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      <text bytes="49958" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Lego Movie|The Lego Movie]]'''''  is a [[w:2014 in film|2014]] [[w:computer animation|computer animated]] [[w:comedy film|comedy film]] about an ordinary LEGO construction worker, thought to be the prophesied &quot;special&quot;, who is recruited to join a quest to stop an evil diabolical tyrant from gluing the LEGO universe into his own selfish vision of perfection.
:''Directed and written by [[w:Phil Lord|Phil Lord]] and [[David Soren]] &amp; Bob Anderson.'' Story by Dan Lin And Kathleen Fleming, Phil Lord and Christopher Miller.''

==Vitruvius==
*''[a red laser is shoots at the Vitruvius eyes to blind and grunts]'' Unh! My eyes! Ow!

== Dialogue ==
:'''Lord Business''': ''[after knocking down Vitruvius Lord Business goes over to the Kragle]'' The Kragle, the most powerful super weapon is mine: ''[he opens the Kragle]'' ''[He opens the case. We see something glowing]'' Oh, the Kragle! ''[laughs evilly as his horns shoot fire]'' Now my evil power will be unlimited! Can you feel me?!
:'''[[w:Robot|Robot]]''': ''[monotone]'' I can feel you. ''[his robots start carrying the Kragle away]''
:'''Lord Business''': WHOO! Nothing's gonna stop me now!
:'''Vitruvius''': ''[weakly to down]'' Wait, there's a prophecy.
:'''Lord Business''': ''[grumbling]'' Oh, ''now'' there's a prophecy.
:'''Vitruvius''': About the Piece of Resistance.
:'''Lord Business''': ''[he turns to Vitruvius]'' Oh, yes, the supposed missing Piece of Resistance that can somehow magically disarm the Kragle, gimme a break! ''[to Lord Business] [Vitruvius rises and turns to face Lord Business, suddenly his eyes shine brightly]'' ''[Gasping]''
:'''Vitruvius''': ''One day a talented lass or fellow, a Special one with face of yellow, will make the Piece of Resistance found from its hiding refuge underground, and with a noble army at the helm, this Master Builder will thwart the Kragle and save the realm, and be the greatest, most interesting, most important person of all times, all this is true, because it rhymes.''
:'''Lord Business''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, wow, that was a great, inspiring legend... that ''you made up.''
:''[Business kicks Vitruvius screaming off the ledge with his giant robot leg]''
:'''Lord Business''': A special one? What a bunch of hippy dippy baloney.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Radio DJ''': ''[he turns on the radio]'' ''Top of the charts again, it's ''everything is awesome''.''
:'''Emmet''': Oh, my gosh! I love this ''Song''! ''[Everything Is Awesome turns on, the music starts playing]'' Always use the turn signal, park between the lines. ''[Emmet and everyone else parks in exactly the same way]'' Yes! Drop off dry cleaning before noon, read the headlines, don't forget to smile. ''[waves and smiles to everyone as he walks down the street]'' 
:'''Paper Boy''': Paper!
:'''Emmet''': Always root for the local sports team. ''[a train full of passengers appear]''
:'''LEGO® Citizens''': Gooooooooo, '''SPORTS TEAM!!'''
:'''Emmet''': Always return a compliment. ''[to the male Lego citizen stepping out of the coffee shop]'' Hey, you look nice! ''[everyone turns to Emmet]''
:'''LEGO® Citizens''': So, do you!
:'''Emmet''': Drink Overpriced Coffee! ''[inside the coffee shop he buys a coffee]''
:'''Larry The Barista''': Here you go, that's $37. ''[Emmet looks at him for a moment before replying with excitement]''
:'''Emmet''': ''[Laughing]'' Awesome! ''[Emmet walks to work with his overpriced coffee following the line of all the other construction workers doing exactly the same]''
:'''Construction Worker''': Did you see ''Where are my Pants?'' last night? ''[everyone laughs and replies at the same time]''
:'''Emmet''': ''[chuckles]'' ''Classic episode!''
:'''Foreman''': ''[Everything is Awesome&quot; continues to play in the background as the Lego construction workers get into position]'' Instructions coming in from central. Okay, it says here that anything that's weird then blow it up! ''[the workers start blowing up the buildings]'' ''['''''BOOM!!!!''''']'' All right, Cylinder-Heads, let's make it look exactly like it does in the Instructions!
:'''Construction Worker #1''': Hey, buddy! I need 1x2 keyhole!
:'''Emmet''': No problem, Michael.
:'''Construction Worker #2''': 2x2 macaroni over here.
:'''Emmet''': 2x2 macaroni flying in! Here's 1, Mel.
:'''Construction Worker #3''': Guys, got a 1x1 with an indented stud on 1 side!
:'''Foreman''': Cheese, look, cheese slopes, come on, everybody!
:'''Emmet''': Roger that, Roger.
:'''Construction Worker #4''': Look alive, coming at you.
:'''Construction Worker #5''': Can I get a couple LURPs over here?
:'''Emmet''': Thanks, Gail.
:'''Construction Worker #6''': Guys, watch me drill this down.
:''[everyone cheers]''
:'''Construction Workers''': ''[they all start singing along to &quot;Everything is Awesome&quot;]''
:'''Emmet''': Man, I feel so good right now! '''I CAN SING THIS SONG FOR HOURS!''' ''[5 hours later]'' ''[everyone at the construction site is still singing &quot;Everything is Awesome&quot; and it's finally coming to the end of the day]''
:'''Barry''': When you're part of a '''''TEAM!''' ['''BOOM!''' everyone cheering]'' Yeah, I'm gonna the sports bar after work tonight, who wants to eat some delicious chicken wings and get ''[Gail laughs] '''CRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZYYYYY?!''' [as the other constructions workers start to leave together, Emmet is left behind and tries to get their attention]''
:'''Emmet''': Chicken wings? I love chicken wings!
:'''Construction Worker #6''': Yeah, who wants to share a croissant with this guy?
:'''Emmet''': Croissants? I love croissants!
:'''Construction Worker #7''': Oh, yeah! I sure do love giant sausages!
:'''Emmet''': Giant sausages, no way! ''[nobody pays Emmet any attention as he tries to join them]'' You know what I love to do? Is share a meal with the special people in my life, Fred, Barry, Gail, me and y...? [Emmet runs into a construction post and falls. A gust of wind blows his instructions away]'' Ah, no guys, wait up! Okay, I'll meet you there! ''[Emmet chases after his instruction manual as the wind continues to carry it off]'' Oh, where did it go? ''[he finds the manual lying on some Lego rubble]'' Oh, there you are. ''[Emmet laughs, relieved, as he retrieves the manual and turns to leave but stops when he hears a whoosh]'' I think I heard a whoosh.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': I feel like maybe I should touch that.
:'''Voice''': ''It's so interesting... Touch the Piece... Touch the Piece... It's so interesting... Touch the Piece...'' ''[Emmet gets up and starts walking over to the giant block]''
:'''Emmet''': Uh... ''[he becomes completely transfixed and steps over his instruction manual]''
:'''Voice''': ''Touch the--''
:''[he slowly extends his hand and touches the block and gets a vision which includes Vitruvius reciting the Piece of Resistance prophecy]''
:'''Vitruvius''': ''A Special one with face of yellow...'' ''[Emmet falls, screaming]'' ''...will make the Piece of Resistance found from its hiding refuge underground...'' ''[Emmet is still falling]'' ''...this Master Builder...'' ''[girl screams]'' ''...will thwart the Kragle and save the realm...''
:'''Wyldstyle''': '''''Come on, Everyone, protect the Special!'''''
:'''Vitruvius''': ''[Emmet then passes out]'' ''...the Special has arisen.''
:'''Boy''': ''It's your turn to be the hero.''
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[as Emmet slowly wakes he hears someone's voice]'' ''[Bad Cop echoes in distorted voice]'' ''Wake up.''
:'''Emmet''': ''[waking up]'' ''[echoes in distorted voice]'' ''Ugh.''
:'''Bad Cop''': ''Come on, wake up! Where are the Master Builders?! How did you find the Piece of Resistance?! Hey?! Where is it?!''
:'''Emmet''': ''[Emmet's wake up out voice interrogating hears as starts to open his eyes]'' ''[in normal voice]'' Good morning, apartment...?
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[in normal voice]'' '''''WAKE UP!''''' ''[an angry looking cop shines a light onto Emmet making him immediately awake]'' 
:'''Emmet''': ''[screams]''
:'''Bad Cop''': How did you find the Piece of Resistance?!
:'''Emmet''': The Piece of what?
:'''Bad Cop''': The Piece of Resistance. ''[Bad Cop grunts, and screams as he falls and finally lands onto the ground, suddenly he knocks a chair aside in anger scaring Emmet, we see Emmet is being held in an interrogation room with his hands shackled to chair]''
:'''Emmet''': ''I- I- I don't, where am I? what's happening?''
:'''Bad Cop''': ''What's happening?'' Playing dumb, Master Builder.
:'''Emmet''': No, I... ''master builder?''
:'''Bad Cop''': Oh, so you've never heard of the prophecy?
:'''Emmet''': No, I...
:'''Bad Cop''': Or the Special?
:'''Emmet''': ''No! No, I...''
:'''Bad Cop''': You're a *liar!* We'll ''kill'' ya. ''[Bad Cop backflips and starts to kick and wrestle a chair]''
:'''Emmet''': Look, um... ''[Bad Cop chuckles]'' I watch a lot of cop shows on TV... ''[Emmet gasps]'' Isn't there supposed to also be a-? Isn't there supposed to be a ''Good Cop''?! ''[Emmet ducks as Bad Cop throws the chair to the wall]''
:'''Bad Cop''': Oh yes. But we're not done yet. ''[switches head]''
:'''[[w:Good Cop|Good Cop]]''': Hi, buddy! [[Spider-Man (2002 film)|I'm your friendly neighborhood police officer!]] Would you like a glass of water?
:'''Emmet''': Yeah, actually that sounds-
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[switches back to his face]'' '''TOO BAAAD!!!''' ''[smacks the glass away]'' ''Security cameras picked up this!'' ''[grunts]'' You were found at the construction site convulsing with a strange piece.
:'''Emmet''': That's disgusting!
:'''Bad Cop''': Then why is it permanently stuck to your back?
:'''Emmet''': ''[peers back, sees that The Piece of Resistance is glued onto his back, and screams in alarm, and tries to get it off]'' Oh no! Aaaah! Ah! Ah! Get off me!! It won't come off, it's chasing me! Look, it's not my fault! I have no idea how this thing got on my back! ''[Bad Cop changes his face to Good Cop]''
:'''Good Cop''': Of course, buddy. I believe you!
:'''Emmet''': Great! ''[suddenly Bad Cop appears beside Emmet]'' ''[Screams]'' Aaaahh!!
:'''Bad Cop''': I &quot;believe&quot; you, too. You see the quotations I'm making with my claw hands? It means I ''don't'' believe you! Why else would you show up with that thing on your back just three days before President Business is going to use the Kragle to end the world?
:'''Emmet''': President Business is gonna end the world? But he's such a good guy. And Octan, they make good stuff: ''[flashback books]'' ''Music, dairy products, coffee, TV shows, surveillance systems, all history books, voting machines...'' ''[flashback ends]'' ...Wait a minute. 
:'''Bad Cop''': Oh no, come on, you ''can't'' be this stupid.
:'''Emmet''': Look, that is a misunderstanding, I'm just a regular, normal, ordinary guy, and I'm late to meet my best friends in the whole world, and they're probably missing me right now, they're probably out looking around! ''Hey, where's Emmet? Hey, where's my best friend Emmet?'' And you know what. Ask all my friends! '''''THEY'LL TELL YOU!!'''''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': ''[Emmet looks devastated; to Bad Cop]'' There you go, I told you I was a nobody.
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[sighs]'' Oh. ''It's the perfect cover.''
:'''Emmet''': Cover? Cover for what?! ''[chuckles]'' Oops. ''[sneezes]''
:'''Bad Cop''': Why are you sneeze?
:'''Emmet''': But I am... ''[sneezes]'' Wow! That is a very sneeze?
:'''Good Cop''': Of course, Bad Cop. I'm not sure gonna be meltin' devices found and guilty too.
:'''Emmet''': President Business I think Taco Tuesday universe will seems third grade perhaps so takes him to the meltin' chambers and then railroad train for wild west?
:'''Good Cop''': Okay, uh...I will think should somewhere.
:'''Bad Cop''': I can't break him. You're Mom and Dad lies. Perhaps should orders melts. [[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987 TV series)|''Take him to the meltin' chambers and do nothing.'']]
:'''Emmet''': What?! ''[into the meltin' chamber Emmet has been straps to the meltin' device with the Bad Cop's face off by Robber and leaves and Wyldstyle destroys robots]'' '''''NOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOO!!''''' ''[turns to the now faceless Bad Cop] [Robber: I say we KILL Bad cop now!]'' You're going to melt me?! What's wrong with me?! Am I gonna die?! Excuse me? You strapper me.
:'''Good Cop''': You'll live! You'll be fine! ''[Bad Cop/Good Cop's phone rings and draws Bad Cop with marker answers it as he switches back to his face]''
:'''Lord Business''': ''[disembodied]'' '''''EVERYONE STOP MESSING WITH MY STUFF??'''''
:'''Bad Cop''': President Business, I have him right here, sir. Yes and no, we've told him he'll live so he doesn't try to escaping, but uh, we're lying to kills him. ''[Bad Cop presses the button to activate the meltin' device and Robber enters the chamber]''
:'''Robber''' (Manny the Mauler): I'll never *tell you*, Bad Cop! ''Never!'' ''[Robber kicks Bad Cop]''
:'''Bad Cop''': Who's says &quot;never&quot;? You're not supposed to thief. ''[sobbing]'' Are you trying to kill me?! ''[leaves the rooms]''
:'''Emmet''': No wait! What did he just say?!
:'''Robot''': Hold still!
:'''Emmet''': No wait, there is obviously been a ''mix-up'' here!? You have got the wrong-- Uh-oh. ''[a blue laser is shoots at Emmet's back to removes the Piece of Resistance]'' OOOOOW!! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ah-ah-ah-eh-eh-eh-oh-oh-oh! ''[Robot: Oops! Sorry, Emmet?]'' This is gonna start hurting pretty soon! ''[as the Robot starts to increase the heat while grinning menacingly, the hooded woman that Emmet had noticed in the construction site earlier appears and attacks the robots, overpowering them all down and goes to Free Emmet]'' No, no, no, nonononono... ''[Emmet closes his eyes as the hooded figure chops his shackles off.]'' ''[gasps]'' Whoa! Who are you?! ''[The figure takes off her hood to reveal her face and Emmet is transfixed again]'' It's you?
:'''[[w:Wyldstyle|Wyldstyle]]''': Come with me, if you wanna not die. ''[just as Emmet goes to grab her hand, Good Cop enters the chamber with a croissant]''
:'''Good Cop''': Hi, ''everybody!'' How's the ''melting'' goi--? ''[as he notices Emmet escaping with Wyldstyle Bad Cop appears]''
:'''Bad Cop''': Hey, hey, hey, heeeeeey!! ''[he starts shooting at Emmet and Wyldstyle, laser destroys melting device]''
:'''Robber''': ''[to Bad Cop]'' '''''DO YOU SEE THE CHAMBER! KILL THEM!'''''
:'''Bad Cop''': [[Toy Story|''Red alert, red alert!'']] I need everyone, repeat, everyone, to go after the ''special!''
:'''Robber''': Bad Cop! I warned you! [[The Rescuers Down Under|''You're grounded melting device entire week'']]! You're FIRED! Give me the money!
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[shocked]'' Who broke my melting device!? President Business, you broke my melting device!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Bad Cop''': [[The Fox and the Hound|There we are! Why are you ''gets on'' my train the piece of resistance]].
:'''Wyldstyle''': Oh, no!
:'''Emmet''': Oops!
:'''Vitruvius''': Holy smokes, you must Lord Business so spirit is ''no'' way out and you must--.
:'''Bad Cop''': [[Air Force One (film)|''Get off'' my train]].
:'''Emmet''': ''No,'' you get off my train.
:'''Bad Cop''': Huh?! Why you little the Piece of Resistance.
:'''Vitruvius''': Hurry up! Go, Emmet! Build the ramp!
:'''Bad Cop''': Nobody gets on my train the piece of resistance.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Wyldstyle''': What the heck?!
:'''Bad Cop''': [[Batman Begins|Rest in pieces]].

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': Hey, um...
:'''Wyldstyle''': Hang on, sir! ''[As they pull away, Bad Cop turns to go after them]''
:'''Bad Cop''': All units, cut them off on Elm, now! ''[suddenly his face changes to Good Cop]''
:'''Good Cop''': ''[Good Cop spins in]'' ''[gasping and chuckling]'' Or, whenever you can?
:'''Robot''': ''Ten-Four, Bad Cop.''
:'''Emmet''': ''[Many squad cars block the road, as they are being chased and shut at]'' Watch out!
:'''Wyldstyle''': Hold on! ''[she jumps the bike bunny hopping over one squad car and going up onto the monorail platform and onto the track, and screaming. Wyldstyle manages to avoid hitting the police cars in front of them]'' We need to meet up with ''Vitruvius'' and tell him the Piece has been found.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Emmet''': Huh?
:'''Bad Cop''': They're up on the monorail. Release the Copper Choppers. ''[the helicopter above them drops down a motorcycle with two cops in it, a police helicopter flies in dropping a robot on a motorcycle, both Emmet and Wyldstyle gasp, which begins to drive towards Emmet and the girl, firing a green laser as he goes, Emmet shields himself from the fire but the girl, pulls out a multi barrelled laser and returns fire, just as they were about to crash, the figure veers off leaving the robots to crash head-on with a train]''
:'''Emmet''': Oh, no! ''[causing a massive explodes, and screaming. He they start shooting at Wyldstyle and Emmet but Wyldstyle shoots back and manages to get their motorcycle onto the street below, they land safely]'' Will you please tell me what's happening?
:'''Wyldstyle''': I'm rescuing you, sir. You're the one that the prophecy spoke of. You're the Special.
:'''Emmet''': ''[Whispers]'' Me?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Bad Cop''': Darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, ''darny-DARN!!!!!''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Bad Cop''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Robber''': ''Never!''
:'''Bad Cop''': You've gonna get us killed!
:'''Lord Business''': Although, you did let the Piece of Resistance go. The one thing that can ruin my plans, the one thing that I asked you to take care of! ''[Lord Business chuckles and he comes over to Bad Cop and puts one arm around his shoulder]'' That's super frustrating, it makes me just wanna pick up whoever's standing closest to me and just: '''''THROW THEM THROUGH THIS WINDOW, AND OUT INTO THE INFINITE ABYSS OF NOTHINGNESS!!!!!!!''''' ''[Bad Cop: Ouch! What?! You killed a Good Cop!] [he picks up Bad Cop takes him to the large glass window and bangs his head against it]'' I wanna do it so bad! ''[chuckles and Bad Cop]''
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[chuckles]'' I know you do, sir! But, please! Please, don't! ''[he throws Bad Cop aside]''
:'''Lord Business''': And it's not just you, Bad Cop, ''[Bad Cop: Unh!]'' that keeps messing up my plans. People everywhere are always messing with my stuff. ''[Bad Cop: Huh? What? Why?]'' But I have a way to fix that. A way to keep things exactly the way they are supposed to be permanently. ''[he turns on his TV monitor which shows his robots carrying the box containing the Kragle]'' Behold the most powerful weapon of all the relics: ''[his robots open the box containing the Kragle and take it out]'' '''THE KRAGLE!!!''' ''[we see the Kragle is in fact an old tube of Krazy Glue, Bad Cop gasping and Lord Business]'' Well, as you can see they're loading the Kragle into a big machine upstairs. I call it: ''The &quot;Tentacle Arm Kragle Outside Sprayer&quot;'', or ''TAKOS''! The &quot;S&quot; is silent. So on Taco Tuesday it's going to spray the Kragle over everyone and everything with a bunch of super scary nozzles, like this one. ''[the tentacle reaches out and comes over to Bad Cop]'' I'll show you how it works.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Good Cop''': No, I don't want to!
:'''Bad Cop''': You have ''to''.
:'''Good Cop''': I don't want to!
:'''Bad Cop''': Will please be quiet?!
:'''Good Cop''': I can't!
:'''Bad Cop''': You've must?!
:'''Good Cop''': But they--
:'''Bad Cop''': ''Shut it''!
:'''Good Cop''': It's not nice!
:'''Bad Cop''': It's ''your job'' man!?
:'''Good Cop''': It's my job!
:'''Bad Cop''': Lord Business trying to talk?
:'''Good Cop''': I can't do it, they innocent!?
:'''Lord Business''': Just as I thought. You're Good Cop side's making you soft, Bad Cop. Robots, bring me the fleece crested scepter of Q-teep and ''Po-Leesh Remover of Nai-eel!'' ''[the robots bring him a big Q-tip and nail polish remover and Lord Business deeps one end into the polish before turning to Bad Cop]'' You've already let the ''special'' get away once. ''[two of the robots hold Bad Cop]''
:'''Bad Cop''': Sir, ''you're never get away of this. Let go of me! NO!''
:'''Lord Business''': I'm just gonna make sure it doesn't happen again, ''[the robots switch Good Cop in, one of the robots turns Bad Cop's face to Good Cop]'' '''''NO MORE MR. NICE GUY!!!''''' ''[he brings the Q-Tip onto Good Cop's face, suddenly Lord Business uses the end of the Q-tip with nail polish remover to wipe Good Cop's face off, after two scrubs back and forth, there's nothing left]''
:'''Emmet''': ''[disembodied]'' No!
:'''Ma Cop''': ''[starts to weep]'' Oh, son!
:'''Pa Cop''': ''[shocked]'' Son, ''no!''
:'''Lord Business''': On Taco Tuesday, I'm going to kraglize the entire universe so that [[Monsters, Inc.|'''''EVERYONE WILL STOP MESSING WITH MY STUFF??''''']] ''[turns to he now faceless Good Cop]''
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[disembodied] You're never get away of this!''
:'''Lord Business''': Are you gonna be with me or are you [[Alice in Wonderland (1951 film)|'''''GONNA BE STUCK HAVIN’ A TEA PARTY WITH YOUR MOM AND DAD??''''']]
:'''Emmet''': ''[disembodied] No!''
:'''Pa Cop''': Son?
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[The now faceless Good Cop stands back up, only to switch to Bad Cop]'' Sorry, Dad. [[Tomorrow Never Dies|I've a job to do]]. ''[he uses the TAKOS device to completely glue his parents, the nozzle powers up, he presses a button and the TAKOS fires completely freezing them solid]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Vitruvius''': Well, Junebug, I really prefer the word &quot;experienced&quot;! ''[Vitruvius attacks the robots, Master Builders cheers]'' Ha-ha! You see, Emmet, a corrupted spirit is ''no match'' for the purity of imaginat-- ''[suddenly Lord Business hits Vitruvius with a three nickels, then Batman, Wyldstyle &amp; Emmet gasps]''
:'''Emmet''': Vitruvius! NO!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Wyldstyle''': ''[to Emmet as they make their way through the saloon]'' Okay, let's find the wizard and get this over with. ''[as they make their way through, the patrons look at Emmet menacingly]'' ''[Emmet gasps, yelps] [Wyldstyle notices Vitruvius playing the piano at the saloon]'' Psst. There he is. ''[she goes over to him]'' Vitruvius.
:'''Vitruvius''': Who? I've never heard of that man, whom I am not. Who are you?
:'''Wyldstyle''': It's me.
:'''Vitruvius''': I am a blind man, and cannot see.
:'''Wyldstyle''': It's Wyldstyle. 
:'''Vitruvius''': Are you a DJ? ''[gasps]'' 
:'''Wyldstyle''': No, why does everyone...?
:'''Vitiruvius''': Wait, wait, were you the student I used to have who was so insecure she kept changing her name? Yeah, first Dark Storm... Then Gemini, then there was Neversmile--- Then Freak Face... Then Snazzypants... ''[suddenly Vitruvius stops playing and turns to Wyldstyle]'' Meet me upstairs in 10-Seconds. ''[he then turns and starts to walk off using his, Vitruvius grunts as he falls and finally lands onto the ground, scepter when suddenly he bangs into the wall]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': Step one: Alright, we need a blue two-piece unit over at the...

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Wyldstyle''': That would be great, but ''Emmet'' is the one who found the Piece. ''[Emmet turns and waves he chuckles]''
:'''Vitruvius''': ''[gasps]'' Oh, okay. ''[turning to Emmet]'' Emmet, the prophecy states that... you're ''the special'', the most talented--
:'''Wyldstyle''': I'm not sure he's the Special, actually--''[Emmet's started chuckles]''--because he's not even a Master Builder. Watch! Emmet, just given what's around you, build something simple!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': ''[Vitruvius goes over to Emmet and puts his hands against Emmet's head]'' Uh, what are you doing? ''[suddenly Vitruvius pulls off Emmet's hair revealing his Lego head]''
:'''Vitruvius''': We are entering your mind.
:'''Emmet''': '''''WHAT?!?!?!'''''
:'''Vitruvius''': ...to prove that you have to unlock the potential to be a Master Builder, ''ujjayi breath!'' ''[Vitruvius chants in magical language]'' ''Shut your face, a found ''The Dog''!'' ''[Vitruvius and Wyldstyle start bowing and moving around Emmet until finally we see all of them in Emmet's mind which is a vast empty space]'' 
:'''Emmet''': ''[echoing]'' ''Whoa, are we inside my brain right now? It's big. I must be smart.''
:'''Wyldstyle''': ''[echoing]'' ''Hmmmmm.''
:'''Vitruvius''': ''[echoing]'' ''I'm not hearing a lot of activity here.''
:'''Wyldstyle''': ''I don't think he's ever had an original thought in his life.''
:'''Emmet''': ''[chuckles]'' ''That's not true. For instance, one time I wanted to have a bunch of my friends over to watch TV.'' ''[suddenly a TV forms behind him]'' ''Not unlike this TV that just showed up magically. And not everybody could fit on my one couch.'' ''[a couch forms behind him]'' ''And I thought to myself, well, what if there’s such a thing as a bunk bed, but as a couch?'' ''[suddenly the couch forms into a double decker couch]'' ''Introducing ''the double decker couch'': So everyone could watch TV, together and be buddies!'' ''[dead silence]''
:'''Wyldstyle''': ''That's literally the dumbest thing I've ever heard.''
:'''Vitruvius''': ''Please, Wyldstyle. Lemme handle this, that idea is just the worst.'' ''[to Emmet]'' 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Vitruvius''': This is Middle Zealand. A wondrous land full of knights, castles, muttons, torture weapons, poverty, leeches, illiteracy, and um...
:'''Emmet''': ''[Out of the sun flying straight towards them is a...]'' '''''DRAGON!!!''''' ''[The Batwing takes dive as the dragon swoops down]''
:'''Vitruvius''': Yeah, that too. ''[Batman quickly turns the Batwing back into the Batmobile and lands the car into a forest area, it speeds along the track, Batman makes his aircraft transform into a car and lands on the ground and drives through the woods]'' Once we arrive in Cloud Cuckoo Land, we'll raise an army of Master Builders...
:'''Batman''': Yeah, yeah, anyway. You guys gotta check out these new subwoofers I installed in the back, I call them ''The Dogs.'' Listen to them bark! ''[Batman turns on some music, sending heavy metal blasting through Emmet and Vitruvius, bouncing them and the roof of the Batmobile up and down, Emmet screams he turns on his stereo making Emmet and Vitruvius jump in the back]''
:'''Emmet''': Can you turn that down a little bit?!
:'''Batman''': This is a song I wrote for Wyldstyle! ''[Wyldstyle smiles at Batman before singing with the song, we hear Batman's voice as he sings to the heavy metal music]'' ''Darkness!'' ''[to Emmet and Vitruvius]'' It's about how I'm an orphan! ''[the song continues]'' ''No parents!''
:'''Wyldstyle''': ''[Wyldstyle turns to Emmet]'' This is real music, Emmet. Batman's a true artist. Dark, brooding.
:'''Emmet''': Well, I'm dark and brooding too! ''[Emmet gasps, suddenly he notices something ahead]'' Look, a rainbow! ''[as they reach the rainbow]''
:'''Vitruvius''': So, you're gonna drive up the curved part, ''['''Batman''': ''Super rich!'']'' take it all the way to the top ''['''Batman''': ''Kinda makes it better!'']'' and park the car. ''[the Batmoblie stops, Batman drives up the rainbow and stops the car at the very top]'' Friends, welcome to Cloud Cuckoo Land. ''[an angelic chord plays as the camera pans down to the group standing in front of a rather large cloud, the rainbow disappears and they are surrounded by clouds]'' Now, I just need to give the secret knock.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': ''[Emmet gasps]'' Is that [[Superman]]?
:'''[[Statue of Liberty]]''': Bonjour.
:'''Superman''': Girl, what are you doing right now?
:'''[[Green Lantern]]''': ''[appears from behind Emmet]'' Hey, Superman!
:'''Superman''': Oh, hey... Hey, what's up?
:'''Green Lantern''': ''[fixing his mask]'' Lantern. Green Lantern.
:'''Superman''': Yeah, yeah.
:'''Green Lantern''': Do you wanna sit together at the meeting?
:'''Superman''': Uh, I have to, I have to go back to Krypton. ''[Superman quickly flies off]''
:'''Green Lantern''': ''[the camera pans to Vitruvius addressing the room at large]'' Did didn't Krypton blow up?
:'''Vitruvius''': My fellow, Master Builders, including, but not limited to: [[Robin Hood]], Mermaid Lady, Gandalf, Swamp Creature, 1980-something Space Guy... ''['''Benny''': 'Hello!']'' ...2002 NBA All Stars and Wonder Woman. You have traveled far to be here for a moment of great import. We have learned that Lord Business plans to unleash a fully-weaponized Kragle on Taco Tuesday, to end the world as we know it. ''[the Master Builders express their shock and outrage]'' Please, calm yourselves. Green Ninja, Milhouse, Nice Vampire, [[Michelangelo]], [[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles|Michelangelo]] and [[Cleopatra]]. There is yet one hope, the Special has arisen.
:''[he steps aside to reveal Emmet while hushed murmurs spread around]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Superman''': ''IT DIDN'T BREAK!''
:'''Bad Cop''': Because it's Kragled. ''[to his robots]'' Machine gum! Fire! ''[they shoot at Superman with chewing gum making him splat to the ground stuck in the gum]''
:'''Superman''': ''[screams]'' I can't move.
:'''Green Lantern''': Don't worry, Superman! I'll get you out of there. ''[as Green Lantern goes to rescue Superman his hands get stuck in the gum and screams]'' Oh, my gosh! My hands are stuck! ''[he wriggles his legs and those get stuck in the gum too]'' My legs are stuck as well!
:'''Superman''': I super hate you.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': ''[as the robots have got hold of Emmet] '''OW, YOU'RE PULLING MY TORSO OFF!!'''''
:'''Wyldstyle''': Babe, help me get him out of here!
:'''Batman''': I said ''every man for himself.''
:'''Wyldstyle''': Hey, you gotta be there for me. ''[Batman groans as he falls and finally lands onto the ground]''
:'''Batman''': Fine! Fine, fine, fine! ''[reluctantly he goes to her aide and fights off the robots attacking Emmet]'' Fine, fine, fine, fine!
:'''Wyldstyle''': I need you to have a better attitude about it!
:'''Batman''': I've a great attitude! ''[Batman gets the tracker off Emmet and throws it at one of the robots]''
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[Bad Cop picks up Emmet's tracker which is now attached to the robot]'' The Special's in the northwest quadrant, we've got him corner! ''[he looks down but all he sees is the robot with the tracker attached to his head smacking into a wall]'' Where did he go?
:'''Unikitty''': Oh, no! They've hit our silly cloud stabilizer!
:'''Wyldstyle''': Let's go, we need to get Emmet outta here!
:'''Emmet''': Can't we build something? ''[suddenly the space guy comes over to them]''
:'''Benny''': Hey, I'm Ben! But you can call me Benny! And I can build a spaceship. Watch this. ''[he starts building a spaceship and chanting along as he works]'' ''[Benny singing] Spaceship, spaceship, spaceship, spaceship! Spaceshi--!''
:'''Wyldstyle''': No, no, no, no! You can't, the skies are surrounded.
:'''Benny''': That's okay, I didn't really wanna build a spaceship. ''[Benny chuckles]'' Anyway, that's cool. ''[Groaning]'' ''[looking visibly disappointed he kicks his half built spaceship and it falls apart]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[the group takes the submarine towards the water as Bad Cop at his robots are chasing after them]'' Stop him, stop him! ''[suddenly the submarine goes off the edge of a cloud and plunges down]'' Don't let him get to the water! ''[as they get closer to the water]''
:''[Wyldstyle screams as he falls and finally lands onto the ground]''
:'''Wyldstyle''':  Dive, dive, dive! Everybody in! We're going under!
:''[A submarine splashes, the submarine plunges into the water. A chair splashes]''
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[grunts]''
:''[We hear muffled screams and we then see Cloud Cuckoo Land being destroyed by the robots and the Master Builders handcuffed and taken as prisoners]''
:'''Wonder Woman''': Oh, no.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Batman''': ''[he trails off hoping for any positive comments]'' You are so disappointing on so many levels.
:'''Vitruvius''': Why are my pants cold and wet? ''[A shot of water rising in the sub]'' Uh...
:'''Computer''': ''[a wall is breached and even more water floods in]'' ''Hull breach!''
:'''Unikitty''': The walls are crying!
:'''Benny''': ''[as she tries to plug a hole]'' We're falling apart at the seams! ''[screams]'' ''[as the submarine starts to fall apart]''
:'''Batman''': This is not how Batman dies!
:''[Emmet screams, as the submarine fills with water Emmet starts to drown. Wyldstyle reaches for him]''
:'''Wyldstyle''': '''Emmet!''' Hold on, hold on!
:'''Emmet''': '''Wyldstyle!'''
:''[the shot goes to outside the sub, red lights coming from the windows as it goes through the water as an alarm beeps faster and faster signalling a detonation]''
:'''Wyldstyle''': '''Deep breath!''' ''[gasps]'' '''Deep breath, everybod--!!'''
:''[the sub explodes, the camera follows a floating piece of debris to the surface]''
:''[where Bad Cop and a few Micro Managers are looking around]''
:'''Bad Cop''': Micro-Managers, what's going on down there?
:'''Micro-Manager''': ''Scanning submarine wreckage. No survivors detected.''
:'''Bad Cop''': Scuba Cops? Dredge the entire ocean if you have to, we've go to find that piece, ''[Scuba Cops dive in the water to begin their search]'' let's get these prisoners back to Lord Business and give him the good news: &quot;the Special is no more&quot;! ''[they all depart from the wreckage]''
:'''Bank Robber''': That's it, you're Bad Cop's face off right now! I'll never tell you again!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': Okay. :''[Emmet walks up to the platform and waves to everyone. Clears his throat]'' Hello, I'm Emmet. [referring to the Piece of Resistance] Oh, and this is the Piece of Resistance.
:''[the Master Builders cheer. Wyldstyle watches in bewilderment]''
:'''Emmet''': Thank you. Well, eeeeehhhh. I know that I for one am very excited to work with you guys, to get into the Octan Tower, find the Kragle and put this thing on the thing, and I know it's going to be really hard, but... ''[suddenly gets interrupted by another Master Builder]''
:'''Metalbeard''': &lt;big&gt;'''REALLY HARD?!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[the audience gasps]'' Wiping ye bum with a hook for a hand is really hard, this be impossible! The last time we tried to storm Lord Business's office, we used every plan we could conceive, the result was a massacre too terrible to speak of.
:'''Emmet''': Who are you?
:'''Metalbeard''': The name be Metal Beard, and I'll tell you me tale of woe.
:'''Vitruvius''': Oh, great. Here we go again. [Metal Beard recounts his failed attempt in trying to infiltrate Lord Business's office]
:'''Metalbeard''': I arrived at the foot of the tower with me hearty Master Builder crew, only to find the Kragle was all the way up on the infinitieth floor guarded by a robot army. And security measures of every kind imaginable, lasers, sharks, laser sharks, overbearing assistants, and strange dangerous relics that entrap, snap and zap. And there be a mysterious room called &quot;The Think Tank.&quot; I barely made it out of that room with just me head... [Metalbeard hops out of the tower with his head and escapes on his ship as it purrs away] ...and organs! [Metalbeard's organs pop out of the Octan tower and land in his ship and it purrs away again]
:'''Emmet''': ''[disturbed]'' Okay.
:'''Metalbeard''': I had to replace every part of my once strapping virile pirate body with this useless hunk of garbage ye see before ye. ''[to Emmet]'' So if ye think it'd be a good idea to return to that foresaken place, Special, what idea have ye that be better than the ideas of-100-of our fallen Master Builder brothers?
:'''Emmet''': Well, technically I'm not exactly a Master Builder yet.
:'''Metalbeard''': &lt;big&gt;'''WHAT?!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[the other Master Builders shout in outrage]''
:'''Emmet''': Please, everyone, everyone! please.
:'''[[William Shakespeare]]''': ''[throws a pizza]'' Rubbish!
:'''Emmet''': [addressing the Master Builders] Yes, it's true, I may not be a Master Builder, I may not have a lot of experience fighting or leading or coming up with plans, or having ideas in general, in fact, I'm not all that smart, and I'm not what you'd call a creative type, plus, generally unskilled, also, scared and cowardly, I know what, you're thinking? &quot;He is the least qualified person in the world to lead us!&quot; And, you are right!
:'''Swamp Creature''': This is supposed to make us feel better?
:'''Emmet''': What th-? No, there was about to be a but...
:'''Gandalf''': You're a butt!
:'''Dumbledore''': Yes.
:''[Outside Cloud Cuckoo Land, Metalbeard and a few knights and cowboys are leaving]''
:'''Metalbeard''': You all be on your own! I be leaving this lost cause! [Metalbeard jumps onto his ship and sails off Cuckoo Land, as it purrs]
:'''Emmet''': Why are you leaving?!
:'''[[Abraham Lincoln]]''': A house divided against itself would be better than this. [Lincoln jumps into his seat and it suddenly takes off like a spaceship]
:'''Emmet''': Abraham Lincoln, you bring your space chair right back here! Come on, guys! [nearly gets hit by a falling object] We can still do this! [another Master Builder throws a blue disc at him] Oh! Right?
:'''Master Builder 1''': You're not even a bit special.
[Wyldstyle, Batman and Unikitty sadly watch]
:'''Batman''': [Batman whispering to Wyldstyle as they watch Emmet] Well, you were right about him being a ding-dong. [the Master Builders continue to jeer and throw things at Emmet]
:'''Master Builder 2''': You're a huge disappointment!
[Emmet, sad and disappointed, turns and starts walking off]
'''Master Builder 3''': Get him out of here, I don't wanna look at him!
:'''Emmet''': Well, at least it can't get any worse.
:Master Builder 4''': Special? Not! 
:''[A giant golf ball suddenly falls out of nowhere, destroying the Dog]'':
:'''Emmet''': I was wrong.
:''[Emmet yells and runs away as the falling ball falls onto the ground, goes through the eye of the dog and squishes an Island Warrior Master Builder]''
:'''Superman''': It's the orb of ''Tee-te-list''.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Superman''': All the Master Builders you've captured over the years, you brought them here!
:'''Lord Business''': You're a very perceptive person, Superman, they come up with all the instructions for everything in the universe: '''ROBOTS!''', ''Beep'' ''[the robots strap a device to Superman's head]''
:'''Superman''': ''No, no!'' ''[groans] [screaming]'' NO!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! ''[shudders, then his chair shoots up to the top]'' Can't get much worse than this.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Benny chuckles and we see the double decker couch floating on the sea and suddenly Emmet and the others pop out of their hiding place from under the flip up seats]''
:'''Vitruvius''': Well, we're still alive.
:'''Unikitty''': '''''YEAH!!!'''''
:'''Wyldstyle''': ''[gasps]'' The double decker couch! It wasn't totally pointless after all!
:'''Benny''': ''[to Emmet]'' It's the one thing that stayed together.
:'''Vitruvius''': I always believed in you, Emmet.
:'''Batman''': I don't mean to spoil the party, but does anyone else notice we're stuck in the middle of the ocean on this couch? I mean, it's not like a big gigantic ship is just gonna come out of nowhere and save us. ''[suddenly a big gigantic ship becomes visible as it comes over to them]'' My, gosh!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Batman''': Well, it's kind of hard not to hear when you're yelling everything.
:'''Unikitty''': ''[laughs]'' So, why did you come back?
:'''Metalbeard''': This bedoubled land couch. ''[Everyone turns to look at Emmet's double decker couch]'' I watched Lord Business's forces completely overlook it. Which means we need more ideas like it!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': What's the last thing Lord Business would expect Master Builders to do?
:'''Benny''': Build a spaceship?
:'''Vitruvius''': Kill a chicken?
:'''Unikitty''': Marry a marshmallow!
:'''Metalbeard''': Why, this. ''[changes into a singing face: ♪Hum hum hum How ya gonna keep them down at the farm?♪♪]''
:'''Emmet''': No! It's follow the instructions.
:''[Everybody groans and complains]''
:'''Benny''': Don't like that.
:'''Unikitty''': Sounds weird.
:'''Emmet''': No, wait guys. Listen. You guys are so talented and imaginative... but you can't work as a team. I'm just a construction worker, but when I have a plan and we were working together, we could build a skyscraper. Now you guys are Master Builders. Just imagine what you could do if you did that! ...You could save the universe!
:'''Vitruvius''': Well said, Emmet. Well said.
:'''Emmet''': Really?
:'''Metalbeard''': She be a fine speech there, laddie.
:'''Emmet''': Okay. Somebody get me some markers... some construction paper... and some GLITTER GLUE!!! ''[Emmet stands in front of the instructions he's drawn]'' ''I call this, ''Emmet's plan to get inside the tower, put the Piece of Resistance on the Kragle and save the world'', I've built a hundred just like them back in the city, if we could just get in there, I know where all the air ducts and wiring are located, I can get us anywhere.''
:'''Vitruvius''': How will we get inside?
:'''Emmet''': ''[Whispers]'' In a spaceship!
:'''Benny''': '''SPACESHIP!''' ''[Benny chuckles and rushes off excitedly to build a spaceship]''
:'''Batman''': Great idea, a Bat spaceship.
:'''Emmet''': No, they're expecting us to show up in a Bat spaceship, or a pirate spaceship, or a rainbow sparkled spaceship.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Wylstyle''': Bad Cop?
:'''Bad Cop''': I hope there's still a Good Cop in me somewhere. ''[draw a new face for Good Cop with a red marker]''
:'''Scribble Cop''': I'll hold these guys off. You go stop 'em. Yay!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': You... don't have to be... the bad guy. You are the most talented... most interesting... and extraordinary person in the universe. And you are capable of amazing things, because you are the Special.
:''[Lord Business looks shocked and lowers the Kragle]'' 
:'''Emmet''': And so am I, and so is everyone, the prophecy is made up, but it's also true, it's about all of us, right now, it's about you, and you, still, can change everything.
:''[he holds up the Piece of Resistance. Business, touched by Emmet's speech drops the Kragle and starts walking over to him. Cut to  the real world where Finn's father approaches his son, kneels down and hugs Finn, at the same time in Lego world, we see Lord Business is hugging Emmet.]''
:'''Emmet''': Oh, we got a hugger. ''[Emmet hands the Piece of Resistance to Lord Business]'' Be careful, I have been told... it might explode.
:''[Lord Business winks at Emmet, makes his way to the Kragle, in the real world Finn's father places the lid on the Krazy Glue, at the same time Lord Business places the Piece of Resistance on to the Kragle and into the TAKO device]''
:'''Lord Business''': ''[strains, exhales deeply]'' Emmet, thank you. And I just want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, from this moment forward, I solemnly promise that I will never--
:'''Emmet''': ''[screaming]''
:''[suddenly the Kragle explodes causing all the micro-managers and nozzles to de-activate. Emmet lands in the middle of the city where his friends are.]''
:'''Benny''': '''''EMMET!'''''
:'''Metalbeard''': '''''Emmet, arr!'''''
:'''Emmet''': ''[Chuckling]'' Hey, everyone! Is everyone, okay. Where's Lucy? ''[Unikitty laughs, as the micro-managers fall down]'' ''[Wyldstyle comes up from under a micro-manager]''
:'''Wyldstyle''': Emmet!
:'''Emmet''': Lucy! ''[Emmet rushes over to her and Wyldstyle jumps into his arms]''
:'''Wyldstyle''': We did it! ''[Unikitty laughs]'' ''[Batman clears throat. Just as Emmet and Wyldstyle are about to hold hands Batman interrupts them]'' ''[Emmet gasps]'' Oh, eeehhh. Emmet, wait, Batman, there's something I need to say to you!
:'''Batman''': No, Wyldstyle. I mean, Lucy! ''[he points to Emmet]'' He's the hero you deserve!
:'''Wyldstyle''':  ''[Wyldstyle smiles and Emmet looks behind him to see who Batman was pointing at]'' Thanks, Batman! 
:'''Unikitty''': ''[giggles]'' 
:''[Wyldstyle turns Emmet's face towards her and they finally hold hands as everyone cheers for them. We see Vitruvius's ghostly form hovering over the city watching them]''
:'''Vitruvius''': ''[breaking the fourth wall]'' I liked Emmet ''before'' he was cool. ''[we see Business is pouring an antidote to unstick everybody]''
:'''President Business''': Whoops! I have the antidote for the Kragle! How did that happen
:''[at the same time in the real world Finn's father is pouring glue remover all over the Lego pieces as Finn watches]''
:'''Finn''': ''De-kragler!''
:'''The Man Upstairs''': Watch this. YEAH! ''[as Finn's father pours glue remover onto Pa and Ma Cop Finn reunites Bad Cop with his parents]''
:'''Finn''':  Oh, Mommy, Daddy, you're okay!
:''[scene changes to Bad Cop reunited with his parents]''
:'''Ma Cop''': ''[Ma Cop chuckles]'' Oh, son! ''[Bad Cop who's now using his drawn on Good Cop face hugs his parents]''
:'''Good Cop''': Hi, Mom, hi, Dad.
:'''Pa Cop''': ''[chuckles]'' We're okay, son. ''[Pa Cop chuckles, in the real world as Finn and his father are playing with the Lego pieces Mom calls out]''
:'''Mom''': ''[calls out]'' Hey, guys? Time to come up for dinner! It’s Taco Tuesday, your favorite!
:'''The Man Upstairs''': Okay, honey, well, be up in a sec.
:'''Finn''': Oh, yeah, we'll be up in a sec!
:'''The Man Upstairs''': I got to tell you something.
:'''Finn''':  What?
:'''The Man Upstairs''': Now that I'm letting you come down here and play, guess who else gets to come down here and play?
:'''Finn''': Who?
:'''The Man Upstairs''': Your sister.
:'''Finn''': ''[surprised]'' What?
:''[last lines; as everyone Emmet and the gang are having a feast on the Double-Decker couch]''
:'''Emmet''': We'll things sure have a way of working out smoothly. Am I right, guys? ''[suddenly an alien spaceship hovers above them]'' Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat...?
:''[a trio of [[w:Duplo|Duplo]] alien figures descend into the Lego world]''
:'''Duplo''': ''[Baby voice]'' ''Well, we're from the planet Duplon, and we're here to destroy you.''
:'''Emmet''': ... Oh, man. ''[End of The Lego Movie]''

== Cast == 
* [[w:Chris Pratt|Chris Pratt]] as Emmet Brickowski
* [[Will Ferrell]] as President Business/Lord Business/The Man Upstairs (Finn's Father)
* [[w:Elizabeth Banks|Elizabeth Banks]] as Wyldstyle/Lucy
* [[Will Arnett]] as [[w:Batman|Lego Batman]]
* [[w:Nick Offerman|Nick Offerman]] as Metal Beard
* [[w:Alison Brie|Alison Brie]] as Princess Unikitty
* [[w:Charlie Day|Charlie Day]] as Benny
* [[w:Liam Neeson|Liam Neeson]] as Bad Cop/Good Cop/Pa Cop
* [[w:Michael Bell|Michael Bell]] as Robber (2022 release by Universal Pictures)
* [[Morgan Freeman]] as Vitruvius
* [[w:Jadon Sand|Jadon Sand]] as Finn
* [[w:Melissa Sturm|Melissa Sturm]] as Gail/Ma Cop
* [[Anthony Daniels]] as [[w:C-3PO|C-3PO]]
* [[Shaquille O'Neal|Shaquille O'Neal as himself]]
* [[Jake Johnson]] as Barry
* [[w:Robbie Daymond|Robbie Daymond]] as Randy (Uncredited)
* [[w:David Franco|Dave Franco]] as Wally
* [[w:Keegan-Michael Key|Keegan-Michael Key]] as Foreman Jim
* [[w:Will Forte|Will Forte]] as [[Abraham Lincoln|Lego Abraham Lincoln]]
* [[w:Jorma Taccone|Jorma Taccone]] as [[William Shakespeare|Lego William Shakespeare]]/Sheriff Not a Robot
* [[w:David Burrows|David Burrows]] as Octan Robot and Super Secret Police Robots
* [[w:Chris Romano|Chris Romano]] as [[w:Plumber|Plumber]] Joe
* [[w:Amanda Farinos|Amanda Farinos]] as Mom
* [[w:Chris McKay|Chris McKay]] as Larry the [[w:Barista|Barista]]
* [[w:Todd Hansen|Todd Hansen]] as [[w:Gandalf|Gandalf]]/Swamp Creature 
* [[w:Doug Nicholas|Doug Nicholas]] as [[w:Surfer|Surfer]] Dave/Micro Managers
* [[w:Chris Paluszek|Chris Paluszek]] as [[w:Robot|Robot]] [[w:Foreman|Foreman]]
* [[w:Kelly Lafferty|Kelly Lafferty]] as Lord Business' Assistant
* [[w:Graham Miller|Graham Miller]] as Lego [[w:Duplo|Duplo]]
* [[w:Leiki Veskimets|Leiki-Veskimets]] as Octan [[w:Computer|Computer]]
* [[w:Phil Lord and Chris Miller|Chris Miller]] as [[w:TV Presenter|TV Presenter]]

== Release date ==
{| class=&quot;wikitable&quot;
! Laser Pointer !! No. !! Studio !! co-released it with Warner Bros. Pictures&lt;br&gt;and Warner Animation Group
|-
| Violet (Purple) || 5-piece || Amazon Studios (August 29, 2026)&lt;br&gt;Paramount+ (April 2027)&lt;br&gt;Paramount || May 19, 2015 (DVD/Blu-ray/Blu-ray 3D)&lt;br&gt;May 24, 2016 (4K Ultra HD Blu-ray)
|-
| Brown || 6-piece || Starz/Anchor Bay || December 1, 2015
|-
| Yellow || 1-piece || Sony Wonder (April 2025)&lt;br&gt;Amazon Studios (July 2028)&lt;br&gt;Columbia Pictures&lt;br&gt;Sony Pictures Animation || August 2, 2016
|-
| Black || 7-piece || Shout Factory || November 1, 2016
|-
| Gray || 11-piece || Lionsgate in association with&lt;br&gt;Artisan's Family Home Entertainment || October 17, 2017
|-
| White || 10-piece || Kino Lorber || January 2, 2018
|-
| Green || 3-piece || Disney+ (May 2027)&lt;br&gt;Disney/Pixar (November 2025)&lt;br&gt;Hulu (September 2029)&lt;br&gt;20th Century Fox&lt;br&gt;Blue Sky Studios || March 13, 2018&lt;br&gt;April 11, 2023 (Disney Movie Club)
|-
| Pink || 9-piece || MGM/United Artists Releasing || August 6, 2019
|-
| Orange || 8-piece || A24 || December 22, 2020
|-
| Blue || 2-piece || Peacock TV (December 2026)&lt;br&gt;Universal Pictures || September 20, 2022 (Studio Distribution Services)
|-
| Gold || 12-piece || PBS || November 14, 2023
|-
| Aqua Blue || 13-piece || Orion Studios || July 9, 2024
|-
| Silver || 14-piece || Netflix/Netflix Animation || November 4, 2025
|}

== External links ==
* {{imdb title| id=1490017| title=The Lego Movie }}

{{DEFAULTSORT:LEGO Movie, The}}

{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:2014 films]]
[[Category:2010s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero films]]
[[Category:Dystopian films]]
[[Category:Films based on toys]]
[[Category:The Lego Movie]]
[[Category:American films with live action and animation]]</text>
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      <text bytes="49966" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Lego Movie|The Lego Movie]]'''''  is a [[w:2014 in film|2014]] [[w:computer animation|computer animated]] [[w:comedy film|comedy film]] about an ordinary LEGO construction worker, thought to be the prophesied &quot;special&quot;, who is recruited to join a quest to stop an evil diabolical tyrant from gluing the LEGO universe into his own selfish vision of perfection.
:''Directed and written by [[w:Phil Lord|Phil Lord]] and [[David Soren]] &amp; Bob Anderson.'' Story by Dan Lin And Kathleen Fleming, Phil Lord and Christopher Miller.''

==Vitruvius==
*''[a red laser is shoots at the Vitruvius eyes to blind and grunts]'' Unh! My eyes! Ow!

== Dialogue ==
:'''Lord Business''': ''[after knocking down Vitruvius Lord Business goes over to the Kragle]'' The Kragle, the most powerful super weapon is mine: ''[he opens the Kragle]'' ''[He opens the case. We see something glowing]'' Oh, the Kragle! ''[laughs evilly as his horns shoot fire]'' Now my evil power will be unlimited! Can you feel me?!
:'''[[w:Robot|Robot]]''': ''[monotone]'' I can feel you. ''[his robots start carrying the Kragle away]''
:'''Lord Business''': WHOO! Nothing's gonna stop me now!
:'''Vitruvius''': ''[weakly to down]'' Wait, there's a prophecy.
:'''Lord Business''': ''[grumbling]'' Oh, ''now'' there's a prophecy.
:'''Vitruvius''': About the Piece of Resistance.
:'''Lord Business''': ''[he turns to Vitruvius]'' Oh, yes, the supposed missing Piece of Resistance that can somehow magically disarm the Kragle, gimme a break! ''[to Lord Business] [Vitruvius rises and turns to face Lord Business, suddenly his eyes shine brightly]'' ''[Gasping]''
:'''Vitruvius''': ''One day a talented lass or fellow, a Special one with face of yellow, will make the Piece of Resistance found from its hiding refuge underground, and with a noble army at the helm, this Master Builder will thwart the Kragle and save the realm, and be the greatest, most interesting, most important person of all times, all this is true, because it rhymes.''
:'''Lord Business''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, wow, that was a great, inspiring legend... that ''you made up.''
:''[Business kicks Vitruvius screaming off the ledge with his giant robot leg]''
:'''Lord Business''': A special one? What a bunch of hippy dippy baloney.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Radio DJ''': ''[he turns on the radio]'' ''Top of the charts again, it's ''everything is awesome''.''
:'''Emmet''': Oh, my gosh! I love this ''Song''! ''[Everything Is Awesome turns on, the music starts playing]'' Always use the turn signal, park between the lines. ''[Emmet and everyone else parks in exactly the same way]'' Yes! Drop off dry cleaning before noon, read the headlines, don't forget to smile. ''[waves and smiles to everyone as he walks down the street]'' 
:'''Paper Boy''': Paper!
:'''Emmet''': Always root for the local sports team. ''[a train full of passengers appear]''
:'''LEGO® Citizens''': Gooooooooo, '''SPORTS TEAM!!'''
:'''Emmet''': Always return a compliment. ''[to the male Lego citizen stepping out of the coffee shop]'' Hey, you look nice! ''[everyone turns to Emmet]''
:'''LEGO® Citizens''': So, do you!
:'''Emmet''': Drink Overpriced Coffee! ''[inside the coffee shop he buys a coffee]''
:'''Larry The Barista''': Here you go, that's $37. ''[Emmet looks at him for a moment before replying with excitement]''
:'''Emmet''': ''[Laughing]'' Awesome! ''[Emmet walks to work with his overpriced coffee following the line of all the other construction workers doing exactly the same]''
:'''Construction Worker''': Did you see ''Where are my Pants?'' last night? ''[everyone laughs and replies at the same time]''
:'''Emmet''': ''[chuckles]'' ''Classic episode!''
:'''Foreman''': ''[Everything is Awesome&quot; continues to play in the background as the Lego construction workers get into position]'' Instructions coming in from central. Okay, it says here that anything that's weird then blow it up! ''[the workers start blowing up the buildings]'' ''['''''BOOM!!!!''''']'' All right, Cylinder-Heads, let's make it look exactly like it does in the Instructions!
:'''Construction Worker #1''': Hey, buddy! I need 1x2 keyhole!
:'''Emmet''': No problem, Michael.
:'''Construction Worker #2''': 2x2 macaroni over here.
:'''Emmet''': 2x2 macaroni flying in! Here's 1, Mel.
:'''Construction Worker #3''': Guys, got a 1x1 with an indented stud on 1 side!
:'''Foreman''': Cheese, look, cheese slopes, come on, everybody!
:'''Emmet''': Roger that, Roger.
:'''Construction Worker #4''': Look alive, coming at you.
:'''Construction Worker #5''': Can I get a couple LURPs over here?
:'''Emmet''': Thanks, Gail.
:'''Construction Worker #6''': Guys, watch me drill this down.
:''[everyone cheers]''
:'''Construction Workers''': ''[they all start singing along to &quot;Everything is Awesome&quot;]''
:'''Emmet''': Man, I feel so good right now! '''I CAN SING THIS SONG FOR HOURS!''' ''[5 hours later]'' ''[everyone at the construction site is still singing &quot;Everything is Awesome&quot; and it's finally coming to the end of the day]''
:'''Barry''': When you're part of a '''''TEAM!''' ['''BOOM!''' everyone cheering]'' Yeah, I'm gonna the sports bar after work tonight, who wants to eat some delicious chicken wings and get ''[Gail laughs] '''CRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZYYYYY?!''' [as the other constructions workers start to leave together, Emmet is left behind and tries to get their attention]''
:'''Emmet''': Chicken wings? I love chicken wings!
:'''Construction Worker #6''': Yeah, who wants to share a croissant with this guy?
:'''Emmet''': Croissants? I love croissants!
:'''Construction Worker #7''': Oh, yeah! I sure do love giant sausages!
:'''Emmet''': Giant sausages, no way! ''[nobody pays Emmet any attention as he tries to join them]'' You know what I love to do? Is share a meal with the special people in my life, Fred, Barry, Gail, me and y...? [Emmet runs into a construction post and falls. A gust of wind blows his instructions away]'' Ah, no guys, wait up! Okay, I'll meet you there! ''[Emmet chases after his instruction manual as the wind continues to carry it off]'' Oh, where did it go? ''[he finds the manual lying on some Lego rubble]'' Oh, there you are. ''[Emmet laughs, relieved, as he retrieves the manual and turns to leave but stops when he hears a whoosh]'' I think I heard a whoosh.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': I feel like maybe I should touch that.
:'''Voice''': ''It's so interesting... Touch the Piece... Touch the Piece... It's so interesting... Touch the Piece...'' ''[Emmet gets up and starts walking over to the giant block]''
:'''Emmet''': Uh... ''[he becomes completely transfixed and steps over his instruction manual]''
:'''Voice''': ''Touch the--''
:''[he slowly extends his hand and touches the block and gets a vision which includes Vitruvius reciting the Piece of Resistance prophecy]''
:'''Vitruvius''': ''A Special one with face of yellow...'' ''[Emmet falls, screaming]'' ''...will make the Piece of Resistance found from its hiding refuge underground...'' ''[Emmet is still falling]'' ''...this Master Builder...'' ''[girl screams]'' ''...will thwart the Kragle and save the realm...''
:'''Wyldstyle''': '''''Come on, Everyone, protect the Special!'''''
:'''Vitruvius''': ''[Emmet then passes out]'' ''...the Special has arisen.''
:'''Boy''': ''It's your turn to be the hero.''
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[as Emmet slowly wakes he hears someone's voice]'' ''[Bad Cop echoes in distorted voice]'' ''Wake up.''
:'''Emmet''': ''[waking up]'' ''[echoes in distorted voice]'' ''Ugh.''
:'''Bad Cop''': ''Come on, wake up! Where are the Master Builders?! How did you find the Piece of Resistance?! Hey?! Where is it?!''
:'''Emmet''': ''[Emmet's wake up out voice interrogating hears as starts to open his eyes]'' ''[in normal voice]'' Good morning, apartment...?
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[in normal voice]'' '''''WAKE UP!''''' ''[an angry looking cop shines a light onto Emmet making him immediately awake]'' 
:'''Emmet''': ''[screams]''
:'''Bad Cop''': How did you find the Piece of Resistance?!
:'''Emmet''': The Piece of what?
:'''Bad Cop''': The Piece of Resistance. ''[Bad Cop grunts, and screams as he falls and finally lands onto the ground, suddenly he knocks a chair aside in anger scaring Emmet, we see Emmet is being held in an interrogation room with his hands shackled to chair]''
:'''Emmet''': ''I- I- I don't, where am I? what's happening?''
:'''Bad Cop''': ''What's happening?'' Playing dumb, Master Builder.
:'''Emmet''': No, I... ''master builder?''
:'''Bad Cop''': Oh, so you've never heard of the prophecy?
:'''Emmet''': No, I...
:'''Bad Cop''': Or the Special?
:'''Emmet''': ''No! No, I...''
:'''Bad Cop''': You're a *liar!* We'll ''kill'' ya. ''[Bad Cop backflips and starts to kick and wrestle a chair]''
:'''Emmet''': Look, um... ''[Bad Cop chuckles]'' I watch a lot of cop shows on TV... ''[Emmet gasps]'' Isn't there supposed to also be a-? Isn't there supposed to be a ''Good Cop''?! ''[Emmet ducks as Bad Cop throws the chair to the wall]''
:'''Bad Cop''': Oh yes. But we're not done yet. ''[switches head]''
:'''[[w:Good Cop|Good Cop]]''': Hi, buddy! [[Spider-Man (2002 film)|I'm your friendly neighborhood police officer!]] Would you like a glass of water?
:'''Emmet''': Yeah, actually that sounds-
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[switches back to his face]'' '''TOO BAAAD!!!''' ''[smacks the glass away]'' ''Security cameras picked up this!'' ''[grunts]'' You were found at the construction site convulsing with a strange piece.
:'''Emmet''': That's disgusting!
:'''Bad Cop''': Then why is it permanently stuck to your back?
:'''Emmet''': ''[peers back, sees that The Piece of Resistance is glued onto his back, and screams in alarm, and tries to get it off]'' Oh no! Aaaah! Ah! Ah! Get off me!! It won't come off, it's chasing me! Look, it's not my fault! I have no idea how this thing got on my back! ''[Bad Cop changes his face to Good Cop]''
:'''Good Cop''': Of course, buddy. I believe you!
:'''Emmet''': Great! ''[suddenly Bad Cop appears beside Emmet]'' ''[Screams]'' Aaaahh!!
:'''Bad Cop''': I &quot;believe&quot; you, too. You see the quotations I'm making with my claw hands? It means I ''don't'' believe you! Why else would you show up with that thing on your back just three days before President Business is going to use the Kragle to end the world?
:'''Emmet''': President Business is gonna end the world? But he's such a good guy. And Octan, they make good stuff: ''[flashback books]'' ''Music, dairy products, coffee, TV shows, surveillance systems, all history books, voting machines...'' ''[flashback ends]'' ...Wait a minute. 
:'''Bad Cop''': Oh no, come on, you ''can't'' be this stupid.
:'''Emmet''': Look, that is a misunderstanding, I'm just a regular, normal, ordinary guy, and I'm late to meet my best friends in the whole world, and they're probably missing me right now, they're probably out looking around! ''Hey, where's Emmet? Hey, where's my best friend Emmet?'' And you know what. Ask all my friends! '''''THEY'LL TELL YOU!!'''''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': ''[Emmet looks devastated; to Bad Cop]'' There you go, I told you I was a nobody.
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[sighs]'' Oh. ''It's the perfect cover.''
:'''Emmet''': Cover? Cover for what?! ''[chuckles]'' Oops. ''[sneezes]''
:'''Bad Cop''': Why are you sneeze?
:'''Emmet''': But I am... ''[sneezes]'' Wow! That is a very sneeze?
:'''Good Cop''': Of course, Bad Cop. I'm not sure gonna be meltin' devices found and guilty too.
:'''Emmet''': President Business I think Taco Tuesday universe will seems third grade perhaps so takes him to the meltin' chambers and then railroad train for wild west?
:'''Good Cop''': Okay, uh...I will think should somewhere.
:'''Bad Cop''': I can't break him. You're Mom and Dad lies. Perhaps should orders melts. [[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987 TV series)|''Take him to the meltin' chambers and do nothing.'']]
:'''Emmet''': What?! ''[into the meltin' chamber Emmet has been straps to the meltin' device with the Bad Cop's face off by Robber and leaves and Wyldstyle destroys robots]'' '''''NOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOO!!''''' ''[turns to the now faceless Bad Cop] [Robber: I say we KILL Bad cop now!]'' You're going to melt me?! What's wrong with me?! Am I gonna die?! Excuse me? You strapper me.
:'''Good Cop''': You'll live! You'll be fine! ''[Bad Cop/Good Cop's phone rings and draws Bad Cop with marker answers it as he switches back to his face]''
:'''Lord Business''': ''[disembodied]'' '''''EVERYONE STOP MESSING WITH MY STUFF??'''''
:'''Bad Cop''': President Business, I have him right here, sir. Yes and no, we've told him he'll live so he doesn't try to escaping, but uh, we're lying to kills him. ''[Bad Cop presses the button to activate the meltin' device and Robber enters the chamber]''
:'''Robber''' (Manny the Mauler): I'll never *tell you*, Bad Cop! ''Never!'' ''[Robber kicks Bad Cop]''
:'''Bad Cop''': Who's says &quot;never&quot;? You're not supposed to thief. ''[sobbing]'' Are you trying to kill me?! ''[leaves the rooms]''
:'''Emmet''': No wait! What did he just say?!
:'''Robot''': Hold still!
:'''Emmet''': No wait, there is obviously been a ''mix-up'' here!? You have got the wrong-- Uh-oh. ''[a blue laser is shoots at Emmet's back to removes the Piece of Resistance]'' OOOOOW!! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ah-ah-ah-eh-eh-eh-oh-oh-oh! ''[Robot: Oops! Sorry, Emmet?]'' This is gonna start hurting pretty soon! ''[as the Robot starts to increase the heat while grinning menacingly, the hooded woman that Emmet had noticed in the construction site earlier appears and attacks the robots, overpowering them all down and goes to Free Emmet]'' No, no, no, nonononono... ''[Emmet closes his eyes as the hooded figure chops his shackles off.]'' ''[gasps]'' Whoa! Who are you?! ''[The figure takes off her hood to reveal her face and Emmet is transfixed again]'' It's you?
:'''[[w:Wyldstyle|Wyldstyle]]''': Come with me, if you wanna not die. ''[just as Emmet goes to grab her hand, Good Cop enters the chamber with a croissant]''
:'''Good Cop''': Hi, ''everybody!'' How's the ''melting'' goi--? ''[as he notices Emmet escaping with Wyldstyle Bad Cop appears]''
:'''Bad Cop''': Hey, hey, hey, heeeeeey!! ''[he starts shooting at Emmet and Wyldstyle, laser destroys melting device]''
:'''Robber''': ''[to Bad Cop]'' '''''DO YOU SEE THE CHAMBER! KILL THEM!'''''
:'''Bad Cop''': [[Toy Story|''Red alert, red alert!'']] I need everyone, repeat, everyone, to go after the ''special!''
:'''Robber''': Bad Cop! I warned you! [[The Rescuers Down Under|''You're grounded melting device entire week'']]! You're FIRED! Give me the money!
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[shocked]'' Who broke my melting device!? President Business, you broke my melting device!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Bad Cop''': [[The Fox and the Hound|There we are! Why are you ''gets on'' my train the piece of resistance]].
:'''Wyldstyle''': Oh, no!
:'''Emmet''': Oops!
:'''Vitruvius''': Holy smokes, you must Lord Business so spirit is ''no'' way out and you must--.
:'''Bad Cop''': [[Air Force One (film)|''Get off'' my train]].
:'''Emmet''': ''No,'' you get off my train.
:'''Bad Cop''': Huh?! Why you little the Piece of Resistance.
:'''Vitruvius''': Hurry up! Go, Emmet! Build the ramp!
:'''Bad Cop''': Nobody gets on my train the piece of resistance.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Wyldstyle''': What the heck?!
:'''Bad Cop''': [[Batman Begins|Rest in pieces]].

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': Hey, um...
:'''Wyldstyle''': Hang on, sir! ''[As they pull away, Bad Cop turns to go after them]''
:'''Bad Cop''': All units, cut them off on Elm, now! ''[suddenly his face changes to Good Cop]''
:'''Good Cop''': ''[Good Cop spins in]'' ''[gasping and chuckling]'' Or, whenever you can?
:'''Robot''': ''Ten-Four, Bad Cop.''
:'''Emmet''': ''[Many squad cars block the road, as they are being chased and shut at]'' Watch out!
:'''Wyldstyle''': Hold on! ''[she jumps the bike bunny hopping over one squad car and going up onto the monorail platform and onto the track, and screaming. Wyldstyle manages to avoid hitting the police cars in front of them]'' We need to meet up with ''Vitruvius'' and tell him the Piece has been found.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Emmet''': Huh?
:'''Bad Cop''': They're up on the monorail. Release the Copper Choppers. ''[the helicopter above them drops down a motorcycle with two cops in it, a police helicopter flies in dropping a robot on a motorcycle, both Emmet and Wyldstyle gasp, which begins to drive towards Emmet and the girl, firing a green laser as he goes, Emmet shields himself from the fire but the girl, pulls out a multi barrelled laser and returns fire, just as they were about to crash, the figure veers off leaving the robots to crash head-on with a train]''
:'''Emmet''': Oh, no! ''[causing a massive explodes, and screaming. He they start shooting at Wyldstyle and Emmet but Wyldstyle shoots back and manages to get their motorcycle onto the street below, they land safely]'' Will you please tell me what's happening?
:'''Wyldstyle''': I'm rescuing you, sir. You're the one that the prophecy spoke of. You're the Special.
:'''Emmet''': ''[Whispers]'' Me?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Bad Cop''': Darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, ''darny-DARN!!!!!''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Bad Cop''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Robber''': ''Never!''
:'''Bad Cop''': You've gonna get us killed!
:'''Lord Business''': Although, you did let the Piece of Resistance go. The one thing that can ruin my plans, the one thing that I asked you to take care of! ''[Lord Business chuckles and he comes over to Bad Cop and puts one arm around his shoulder]'' That's super frustrating, it makes me just wanna pick up whoever's standing closest to me and just: '''''THROW THEM THROUGH THIS WINDOW, AND OUT INTO THE INFINITE ABYSS OF NOTHINGNESS!!!!!!!''''' ''[Bad Cop: Ouch! What?! You killed a Good Cop!] [he picks up Bad Cop takes him to the large glass window and bangs his head against it]'' I wanna do it so bad! ''[chuckles and Bad Cop]''
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[chuckles]'' I know you do, sir! But, please! Please, don't! ''[he throws Bad Cop aside]''
:'''Lord Business''': And it's not just you, Bad Cop, ''[Bad Cop: Unh!]'' that keeps messing up my plans. People everywhere are always messing with my stuff. ''[Bad Cop: Huh? What? Why?]'' But I have a way to fix that. A way to keep things exactly the way they are supposed to be permanently. ''[he turns on his TV monitor which shows his robots carrying the box containing the Kragle]'' Behold the most powerful weapon of all the relics: ''[his robots open the box containing the Kragle and take it out]'' '''THE KRAGLE!!!''' ''[we see the Kragle is in fact an old tube of Krazy Glue, Bad Cop gasping and Lord Business]'' Well, as you can see they're loading the Kragle into a big machine upstairs. I call it: ''The &quot;Tentacle Arm Kragle Outside Sprayer&quot;'', or ''TAKOS''! The &quot;S&quot; is silent. So on Taco Tuesday it's going to spray the Kragle over everyone and everything with a bunch of super scary nozzles, like this one. ''[the tentacle reaches out and comes over to Bad Cop]'' I'll show you how it works.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Good Cop''': No, I don't want to!
:'''Bad Cop''': You have ''to''.
:'''Good Cop''': I don't want to!
:'''Bad Cop''': Will please be quiet?!
:'''Good Cop''': I can't!
:'''Bad Cop''': You've must?!
:'''Good Cop''': But they--
:'''Bad Cop''': ''Shut it''!
:'''Good Cop''': It's not nice!
:'''Bad Cop''': It's ''your job'' man!?
:'''Good Cop''': It's my job!
:'''Bad Cop''': Lord Business trying to talk?
:'''Good Cop''': I can't do it, they innocent!?
:'''Lord Business''': Just as I thought. You're Good Cop side's making you soft, Bad Cop. Robots, bring me the fleece crested scepter of Q-teep and ''Po-Leesh Remover of Nai-eel!'' ''[the robots bring him a big Q-tip and nail polish remover and Lord Business deeps one end into the polish before turning to Bad Cop]'' You've already let the ''special'' get away once. ''[two of the robots hold Bad Cop]''
:'''Bad Cop''': Sir, ''you're never get away of this. Let go of me! NO!''
:'''Lord Business''': I'm just gonna make sure it doesn't happen again, ''[the robots switch Good Cop in, one of the robots turns Bad Cop's face to Good Cop]'' '''''NO MORE MR. NICE GUY!!!''''' ''[he brings the Q-Tip onto Good Cop's face, suddenly Lord Business uses the end of the Q-tip with nail polish remover to wipe Good Cop's face off, after two scrubs back and forth, there's nothing left]''
:'''Emmet''': ''[disembodied] No!''
:'''Ma Cop''': ''[starts to weep]'' Oh, son!
:'''Pa Cop''': ''[shocked]'' Son, ''no!''
:'''Lord Business''': On Taco Tuesday, I'm going to kraglize the entire universe so that [[Monsters, Inc.|'''''EVERYONE WILL STOP MESSING WITH MY STUFF??''''']] ''[turns to he now faceless Good Cop]''
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[disembodied] You're *liar*! I'll '''kill''' ya!''
:'''Lord Business''': Are you gonna be with me or are you [[Alice in Wonderland (1951 film)|'''''GONNA BE STUCK HAVIN’ A TEA PARTY WITH YOUR MOM AND DAD??''''']]
:'''Emmet''': ''[disembodied] No, no!''
:'''Pa Cop''': Son?
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[The now faceless Good Cop stands back up, only to switch to Bad Cop]'' Sorry, Dad. [[Tomorrow Never Dies|I've a job to do]]. ''[he uses the TAKOS device to completely glue his parents, the nozzle powers up, he presses a button and the TAKOS fires completely freezing them solid]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Vitruvius''': Well, Junebug, I really prefer the word &quot;experienced&quot;! ''[Vitruvius attacks the robots, Master Builders cheers]'' Ha-ha! You see, Emmet, a corrupted spirit is ''no match'' for the purity of imaginat-- ''[suddenly Lord Business hits Vitruvius with a three nickels, then Batman, Wyldstyle &amp; Emmet gasps]''
:'''Emmet''': Vitruvius! NO!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Wyldstyle''': ''[to Emmet as they make their way through the saloon]'' Okay, let's find the wizard and get this over with. ''[as they make their way through, the patrons look at Emmet menacingly]'' ''[Emmet gasps, yelps] [Wyldstyle notices Vitruvius playing the piano at the saloon]'' Psst. There he is. ''[she goes over to him]'' Vitruvius.
:'''Vitruvius''': Who? I've never heard of that man, whom I am not. Who are you?
:'''Wyldstyle''': It's me.
:'''Vitruvius''': I am a blind man, and cannot see.
:'''Wyldstyle''': It's Wyldstyle. 
:'''Vitruvius''': Are you a DJ? ''[gasps]'' 
:'''Wyldstyle''': No, why does everyone...?
:'''Vitiruvius''': Wait, wait, were you the student I used to have who was so insecure she kept changing her name? Yeah, first Dark Storm... Then Gemini, then there was Neversmile--- Then Freak Face... Then Snazzypants... ''[suddenly Vitruvius stops playing and turns to Wyldstyle]'' Meet me upstairs in 10-Seconds. ''[he then turns and starts to walk off using his, Vitruvius grunts as he falls and finally lands onto the ground, scepter when suddenly he bangs into the wall]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': Step one: Alright, we need a blue two-piece unit over at the...

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Wyldstyle''': That would be great, but ''Emmet'' is the one who found the Piece. ''[Emmet turns and waves he chuckles]''
:'''Vitruvius''': ''[gasps]'' Oh, okay. ''[turning to Emmet]'' Emmet, the prophecy states that... you're ''the special'', the most talented--
:'''Wyldstyle''': I'm not sure he's the Special, actually--''[Emmet's started chuckles]''--because he's not even a Master Builder. Watch! Emmet, just given what's around you, build something simple!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': ''[Vitruvius goes over to Emmet and puts his hands against Emmet's head]'' Uh, what are you doing? ''[suddenly Vitruvius pulls off Emmet's hair revealing his Lego head]''
:'''Vitruvius''': We are entering your mind.
:'''Emmet''': '''''WHAT?!?!?!'''''
:'''Vitruvius''': ...to prove that you have to unlock the potential to be a Master Builder, ''ujjayi breath!'' ''[Vitruvius chants in magical language]'' ''Shut your face, a found ''The Dog''!'' ''[Vitruvius and Wyldstyle start bowing and moving around Emmet until finally we see all of them in Emmet's mind which is a vast empty space]'' 
:'''Emmet''': ''[echoing]'' ''Whoa, are we inside my brain right now? It's big. I must be smart.''
:'''Wyldstyle''': ''[echoing]'' ''Hmmmmm.''
:'''Vitruvius''': ''[echoing]'' ''I'm not hearing a lot of activity here.''
:'''Wyldstyle''': ''I don't think he's ever had an original thought in his life.''
:'''Emmet''': ''[chuckles]'' ''That's not true. For instance, one time I wanted to have a bunch of my friends over to watch TV.'' ''[suddenly a TV forms behind him]'' ''Not unlike this TV that just showed up magically. And not everybody could fit on my one couch.'' ''[a couch forms behind him]'' ''And I thought to myself, well, what if there’s such a thing as a bunk bed, but as a couch?'' ''[suddenly the couch forms into a double decker couch]'' ''Introducing ''the double decker couch'': So everyone could watch TV, together and be buddies!'' ''[dead silence]''
:'''Wyldstyle''': ''That's literally the dumbest thing I've ever heard.''
:'''Vitruvius''': ''Please, Wyldstyle. Lemme handle this, that idea is just the worst.'' ''[to Emmet]'' 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Vitruvius''': This is Middle Zealand. A wondrous land full of knights, castles, muttons, torture weapons, poverty, leeches, illiteracy, and um...
:'''Emmet''': ''[Out of the sun flying straight towards them is a...]'' '''''DRAGON!!!''''' ''[The Batwing takes dive as the dragon swoops down]''
:'''Vitruvius''': Yeah, that too. ''[Batman quickly turns the Batwing back into the Batmobile and lands the car into a forest area, it speeds along the track, Batman makes his aircraft transform into a car and lands on the ground and drives through the woods]'' Once we arrive in Cloud Cuckoo Land, we'll raise an army of Master Builders...
:'''Batman''': Yeah, yeah, anyway. You guys gotta check out these new subwoofers I installed in the back, I call them ''The Dogs.'' Listen to them bark! ''[Batman turns on some music, sending heavy metal blasting through Emmet and Vitruvius, bouncing them and the roof of the Batmobile up and down, Emmet screams he turns on his stereo making Emmet and Vitruvius jump in the back]''
:'''Emmet''': Can you turn that down a little bit?!
:'''Batman''': This is a song I wrote for Wyldstyle! ''[Wyldstyle smiles at Batman before singing with the song, we hear Batman's voice as he sings to the heavy metal music]'' ''Darkness!'' ''[to Emmet and Vitruvius]'' It's about how I'm an orphan! ''[the song continues]'' ''No parents!''
:'''Wyldstyle''': ''[Wyldstyle turns to Emmet]'' This is real music, Emmet. Batman's a true artist. Dark, brooding.
:'''Emmet''': Well, I'm dark and brooding too! ''[Emmet gasps, suddenly he notices something ahead]'' Look, a rainbow! ''[as they reach the rainbow]''
:'''Vitruvius''': So, you're gonna drive up the curved part, ''['''Batman''': ''Super rich!'']'' take it all the way to the top ''['''Batman''': ''Kinda makes it better!'']'' and park the car. ''[the Batmoblie stops, Batman drives up the rainbow and stops the car at the very top]'' Friends, welcome to Cloud Cuckoo Land. ''[an angelic chord plays as the camera pans down to the group standing in front of a rather large cloud, the rainbow disappears and they are surrounded by clouds]'' Now, I just need to give the secret knock.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': ''[Emmet gasps]'' Is that [[Superman]]?
:'''[[Statue of Liberty]]''': Bonjour.
:'''Superman''': Girl, what are you doing right now?
:'''[[Green Lantern]]''': ''[appears from behind Emmet]'' Hey, Superman!
:'''Superman''': Oh, hey... Hey, what's up?
:'''Green Lantern''': ''[fixing his mask]'' Lantern. Green Lantern.
:'''Superman''': Yeah, yeah.
:'''Green Lantern''': Do you wanna sit together at the meeting?
:'''Superman''': Uh, I have to, I have to go back to Krypton. ''[Superman quickly flies off]''
:'''Green Lantern''': ''[the camera pans to Vitruvius addressing the room at large]'' Did didn't Krypton blow up?
:'''Vitruvius''': My fellow, Master Builders, including, but not limited to: [[Robin Hood]], Mermaid Lady, Gandalf, Swamp Creature, 1980-something Space Guy... ''['''Benny''': 'Hello!']'' ...2002 NBA All Stars and Wonder Woman. You have traveled far to be here for a moment of great import. We have learned that Lord Business plans to unleash a fully-weaponized Kragle on Taco Tuesday, to end the world as we know it. ''[the Master Builders express their shock and outrage]'' Please, calm yourselves. Green Ninja, Milhouse, Nice Vampire, [[Michelangelo]], [[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles|Michelangelo]] and [[Cleopatra]]. There is yet one hope, the Special has arisen.
:''[he steps aside to reveal Emmet while hushed murmurs spread around]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Superman''': ''IT DIDN'T BREAK!''
:'''Bad Cop''': Because it's Kragled. ''[to his robots]'' Machine gum! Fire! ''[they shoot at Superman with chewing gum making him splat to the ground stuck in the gum]''
:'''Superman''': ''[screams]'' I can't move.
:'''Green Lantern''': Don't worry, Superman! I'll get you out of there. ''[as Green Lantern goes to rescue Superman his hands get stuck in the gum and screams]'' Oh, my gosh! My hands are stuck! ''[he wriggles his legs and those get stuck in the gum too]'' My legs are stuck as well!
:'''Superman''': I super hate you.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': ''[as the robots have got hold of Emmet] '''OW, YOU'RE PULLING MY TORSO OFF!!'''''
:'''Wyldstyle''': Babe, help me get him out of here!
:'''Batman''': I said ''every man for himself.''
:'''Wyldstyle''': Hey, you gotta be there for me. ''[Batman groans as he falls and finally lands onto the ground]''
:'''Batman''': Fine! Fine, fine, fine! ''[reluctantly he goes to her aide and fights off the robots attacking Emmet]'' Fine, fine, fine, fine!
:'''Wyldstyle''': I need you to have a better attitude about it!
:'''Batman''': I've a great attitude! ''[Batman gets the tracker off Emmet and throws it at one of the robots]''
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[Bad Cop picks up Emmet's tracker which is now attached to the robot]'' The Special's in the northwest quadrant, we've got him corner! ''[he looks down but all he sees is the robot with the tracker attached to his head smacking into a wall]'' Where did he go?
:'''Unikitty''': Oh, no! They've hit our silly cloud stabilizer!
:'''Wyldstyle''': Let's go, we need to get Emmet outta here!
:'''Emmet''': Can't we build something? ''[suddenly the space guy comes over to them]''
:'''Benny''': Hey, I'm Ben! But you can call me Benny! And I can build a spaceship. Watch this. ''[he starts building a spaceship and chanting along as he works]'' ''[Benny singing] Spaceship, spaceship, spaceship, spaceship! Spaceshi--!''
:'''Wyldstyle''': No, no, no, no! You can't, the skies are surrounded.
:'''Benny''': That's okay, I didn't really wanna build a spaceship. ''[Benny chuckles]'' Anyway, that's cool. ''[Groaning]'' ''[looking visibly disappointed he kicks his half built spaceship and it falls apart]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[the group takes the submarine towards the water as Bad Cop at his robots are chasing after them]'' Stop him, stop him! ''[suddenly the submarine goes off the edge of a cloud and plunges down]'' Don't let him get to the water! ''[as they get closer to the water]''
:''[Wyldstyle screams as he falls and finally lands onto the ground]''
:'''Wyldstyle''':  Dive, dive, dive! Everybody in! We're going under!
:''[A submarine splashes, the submarine plunges into the water. A chair splashes]''
:'''Bad Cop''': ''[grunts]''
:''[We hear muffled screams and we then see Cloud Cuckoo Land being destroyed by the robots and the Master Builders handcuffed and taken as prisoners]''
:'''Wonder Woman''': Oh, no.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Batman''': ''[he trails off hoping for any positive comments]'' You are so disappointing on so many levels.
:'''Vitruvius''': Why are my pants cold and wet? ''[A shot of water rising in the sub]'' Uh...
:'''Computer''': ''[a wall is breached and even more water floods in]'' ''Hull breach!''
:'''Unikitty''': The walls are crying!
:'''Benny''': ''[as she tries to plug a hole]'' We're falling apart at the seams! ''[screams]'' ''[as the submarine starts to fall apart]''
:'''Batman''': This is not how Batman dies!
:''[Emmet screams, as the submarine fills with water Emmet starts to drown. Wyldstyle reaches for him]''
:'''Wyldstyle''': '''Emmet!''' Hold on, hold on!
:'''Emmet''': '''Wyldstyle!'''
:''[the shot goes to outside the sub, red lights coming from the windows as it goes through the water as an alarm beeps faster and faster signalling a detonation]''
:'''Wyldstyle''': '''Deep breath!''' ''[gasps]'' '''Deep breath, everybod--!!'''
:''[the sub explodes, the camera follows a floating piece of debris to the surface]''
:''[where Bad Cop and a few Micro Managers are looking around]''
:'''Bad Cop''': Micro-Managers, what's going on down there?
:'''Micro-Manager''': ''Scanning submarine wreckage. No survivors detected.''
:'''Bad Cop''': Scuba Cops? Dredge the entire ocean if you have to, we've go to find that piece, ''[Scuba Cops dive in the water to begin their search]'' let's get these prisoners back to Lord Business and give him the good news: &quot;the Special is no more&quot;! ''[they all depart from the wreckage]''
:'''Bank Robber''': That's it, you're Bad Cop's face off right now! I'll never tell you again!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': Okay. :''[Emmet walks up to the platform and waves to everyone. Clears his throat]'' Hello, I'm Emmet. [referring to the Piece of Resistance] Oh, and this is the Piece of Resistance.
:''[the Master Builders cheer. Wyldstyle watches in bewilderment]''
:'''Emmet''': Thank you. Well, eeeeehhhh. I know that I for one am very excited to work with you guys, to get into the Octan Tower, find the Kragle and put this thing on the thing, and I know it's going to be really hard, but... ''[suddenly gets interrupted by another Master Builder]''
:'''Metalbeard''': &lt;big&gt;'''REALLY HARD?!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[the audience gasps]'' Wiping ye bum with a hook for a hand is really hard, this be impossible! The last time we tried to storm Lord Business's office, we used every plan we could conceive, the result was a massacre too terrible to speak of.
:'''Emmet''': Who are you?
:'''Metalbeard''': The name be Metal Beard, and I'll tell you me tale of woe.
:'''Vitruvius''': Oh, great. Here we go again. [Metal Beard recounts his failed attempt in trying to infiltrate Lord Business's office]
:'''Metalbeard''': I arrived at the foot of the tower with me hearty Master Builder crew, only to find the Kragle was all the way up on the infinitieth floor guarded by a robot army. And security measures of every kind imaginable, lasers, sharks, laser sharks, overbearing assistants, and strange dangerous relics that entrap, snap and zap. And there be a mysterious room called &quot;The Think Tank.&quot; I barely made it out of that room with just me head... [Metalbeard hops out of the tower with his head and escapes on his ship as it purrs away] ...and organs! [Metalbeard's organs pop out of the Octan tower and land in his ship and it purrs away again]
:'''Emmet''': ''[disturbed]'' Okay.
:'''Metalbeard''': I had to replace every part of my once strapping virile pirate body with this useless hunk of garbage ye see before ye. ''[to Emmet]'' So if ye think it'd be a good idea to return to that foresaken place, Special, what idea have ye that be better than the ideas of-100-of our fallen Master Builder brothers?
:'''Emmet''': Well, technically I'm not exactly a Master Builder yet.
:'''Metalbeard''': &lt;big&gt;'''WHAT?!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[the other Master Builders shout in outrage]''
:'''Emmet''': Please, everyone, everyone! please.
:'''[[William Shakespeare]]''': ''[throws a pizza]'' Rubbish!
:'''Emmet''': [addressing the Master Builders] Yes, it's true, I may not be a Master Builder, I may not have a lot of experience fighting or leading or coming up with plans, or having ideas in general, in fact, I'm not all that smart, and I'm not what you'd call a creative type, plus, generally unskilled, also, scared and cowardly, I know what, you're thinking? &quot;He is the least qualified person in the world to lead us!&quot; And, you are right!
:'''Swamp Creature''': This is supposed to make us feel better?
:'''Emmet''': What th-? No, there was about to be a but...
:'''Gandalf''': You're a butt!
:'''Dumbledore''': Yes.
:''[Outside Cloud Cuckoo Land, Metalbeard and a few knights and cowboys are leaving]''
:'''Metalbeard''': You all be on your own! I be leaving this lost cause! [Metalbeard jumps onto his ship and sails off Cuckoo Land, as it purrs]
:'''Emmet''': Why are you leaving?!
:'''[[Abraham Lincoln]]''': A house divided against itself would be better than this. [Lincoln jumps into his seat and it suddenly takes off like a spaceship]
:'''Emmet''': Abraham Lincoln, you bring your space chair right back here! Come on, guys! [nearly gets hit by a falling object] We can still do this! [another Master Builder throws a blue disc at him] Oh! Right?
:'''Master Builder 1''': You're not even a bit special.
[Wyldstyle, Batman and Unikitty sadly watch]
:'''Batman''': [Batman whispering to Wyldstyle as they watch Emmet] Well, you were right about him being a ding-dong. [the Master Builders continue to jeer and throw things at Emmet]
:'''Master Builder 2''': You're a huge disappointment!
[Emmet, sad and disappointed, turns and starts walking off]
'''Master Builder 3''': Get him out of here, I don't wanna look at him!
:'''Emmet''': Well, at least it can't get any worse.
:Master Builder 4''': Special? Not! 
:''[A giant golf ball suddenly falls out of nowhere, destroying the Dog]'':
:'''Emmet''': I was wrong.
:''[Emmet yells and runs away as the falling ball falls onto the ground, goes through the eye of the dog and squishes an Island Warrior Master Builder]''
:'''Superman''': It's the orb of ''Tee-te-list''.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Superman''': All the Master Builders you've captured over the years, you brought them here!
:'''Lord Business''': You're a very perceptive person, Superman, they come up with all the instructions for everything in the universe: '''ROBOTS!''', ''Beep'' ''[the robots strap a device to Superman's head]''
:'''Superman''': ''No, no!'' ''[groans] [screaming]'' NO!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! ''[shudders, then his chair shoots up to the top]'' Can't get much worse than this.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Benny chuckles and we see the double decker couch floating on the sea and suddenly Emmet and the others pop out of their hiding place from under the flip up seats]''
:'''Vitruvius''': Well, we're still alive.
:'''Unikitty''': '''''YEAH!!!'''''
:'''Wyldstyle''': ''[gasps]'' The double decker couch! It wasn't totally pointless after all!
:'''Benny''': ''[to Emmet]'' It's the one thing that stayed together.
:'''Vitruvius''': I always believed in you, Emmet.
:'''Batman''': I don't mean to spoil the party, but does anyone else notice we're stuck in the middle of the ocean on this couch? I mean, it's not like a big gigantic ship is just gonna come out of nowhere and save us. ''[suddenly a big gigantic ship becomes visible as it comes over to them]'' My, gosh!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Batman''': Well, it's kind of hard not to hear when you're yelling everything.
:'''Unikitty''': ''[laughs]'' So, why did you come back?
:'''Metalbeard''': This bedoubled land couch. ''[Everyone turns to look at Emmet's double decker couch]'' I watched Lord Business's forces completely overlook it. Which means we need more ideas like it!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': What's the last thing Lord Business would expect Master Builders to do?
:'''Benny''': Build a spaceship?
:'''Vitruvius''': Kill a chicken?
:'''Unikitty''': Marry a marshmallow!
:'''Metalbeard''': Why, this. ''[changes into a singing face: ♪Hum hum hum How ya gonna keep them down at the farm?♪♪]''
:'''Emmet''': No! It's follow the instructions.
:''[Everybody groans and complains]''
:'''Benny''': Don't like that.
:'''Unikitty''': Sounds weird.
:'''Emmet''': No, wait guys. Listen. You guys are so talented and imaginative... but you can't work as a team. I'm just a construction worker, but when I have a plan and we were working together, we could build a skyscraper. Now you guys are Master Builders. Just imagine what you could do if you did that! ...You could save the universe!
:'''Vitruvius''': Well said, Emmet. Well said.
:'''Emmet''': Really?
:'''Metalbeard''': She be a fine speech there, laddie.
:'''Emmet''': Okay. Somebody get me some markers... some construction paper... and some GLITTER GLUE!!! ''[Emmet stands in front of the instructions he's drawn]'' ''I call this, ''Emmet's plan to get inside the tower, put the Piece of Resistance on the Kragle and save the world'', I've built a hundred just like them back in the city, if we could just get in there, I know where all the air ducts and wiring are located, I can get us anywhere.''
:'''Vitruvius''': How will we get inside?
:'''Emmet''': ''[Whispers]'' In a spaceship!
:'''Benny''': '''SPACESHIP!''' ''[Benny chuckles and rushes off excitedly to build a spaceship]''
:'''Batman''': Great idea, a Bat spaceship.
:'''Emmet''': No, they're expecting us to show up in a Bat spaceship, or a pirate spaceship, or a rainbow sparkled spaceship.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Wylstyle''': Bad Cop?
:'''Bad Cop''': I hope there's still a Good Cop in me somewhere. ''[draw a new face for Good Cop with a red marker]''
:'''Scribble Cop''': I'll hold these guys off. You go stop 'em. Yay!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Emmet''': You... don't have to be... the bad guy. You are the most talented... most interesting... and extraordinary person in the universe. And you are capable of amazing things, because you are the Special.
:''[Lord Business looks shocked and lowers the Kragle]'' 
:'''Emmet''': And so am I, and so is everyone, the prophecy is made up, but it's also true, it's about all of us, right now, it's about you, and you, still, can change everything.
:''[he holds up the Piece of Resistance. Business, touched by Emmet's speech drops the Kragle and starts walking over to him. Cut to  the real world where Finn's father approaches his son, kneels down and hugs Finn, at the same time in Lego world, we see Lord Business is hugging Emmet.]''
:'''Emmet''': Oh, we got a hugger. ''[Emmet hands the Piece of Resistance to Lord Business]'' Be careful, I have been told... it might explode.
:''[Lord Business winks at Emmet, makes his way to the Kragle, in the real world Finn's father places the lid on the Krazy Glue, at the same time Lord Business places the Piece of Resistance on to the Kragle and into the TAKO device]''
:'''Lord Business''': ''[strains, exhales deeply]'' Emmet, thank you. And I just want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, from this moment forward, I solemnly promise that I will never--
:'''Emmet''': ''[screaming]''
:''[suddenly the Kragle explodes causing all the micro-managers and nozzles to de-activate. Emmet lands in the middle of the city where his friends are.]''
:'''Benny''': '''''EMMET!'''''
:'''Metalbeard''': '''''Emmet, arr!'''''
:'''Emmet''': ''[Chuckling]'' Hey, everyone! Is everyone, okay. Where's Lucy? ''[Unikitty laughs, as the micro-managers fall down]'' ''[Wyldstyle comes up from under a micro-manager]''
:'''Wyldstyle''': Emmet!
:'''Emmet''': Lucy! ''[Emmet rushes over to her and Wyldstyle jumps into his arms]''
:'''Wyldstyle''': We did it! ''[Unikitty laughs]'' ''[Batman clears throat. Just as Emmet and Wyldstyle are about to hold hands Batman interrupts them]'' ''[Emmet gasps]'' Oh, eeehhh. Emmet, wait, Batman, there's something I need to say to you!
:'''Batman''': No, Wyldstyle. I mean, Lucy! ''[he points to Emmet]'' He's the hero you deserve!
:'''Wyldstyle''':  ''[Wyldstyle smiles and Emmet looks behind him to see who Batman was pointing at]'' Thanks, Batman! 
:'''Unikitty''': ''[giggles]'' 
:''[Wyldstyle turns Emmet's face towards her and they finally hold hands as everyone cheers for them. We see Vitruvius's ghostly form hovering over the city watching them]''
:'''Vitruvius''': ''[breaking the fourth wall]'' I liked Emmet ''before'' he was cool. ''[we see Business is pouring an antidote to unstick everybody]''
:'''President Business''': Whoops! I have the antidote for the Kragle! How did that happen
:''[at the same time in the real world Finn's father is pouring glue remover all over the Lego pieces as Finn watches]''
:'''Finn''': ''De-kragler!''
:'''The Man Upstairs''': Watch this. YEAH! ''[as Finn's father pours glue remover onto Pa and Ma Cop Finn reunites Bad Cop with his parents]''
:'''Finn''':  Oh, Mommy, Daddy, you're okay!
:''[scene changes to Bad Cop reunited with his parents]''
:'''Ma Cop''': ''[Ma Cop chuckles]'' Oh, son! ''[Bad Cop who's now using his drawn on Good Cop face hugs his parents]''
:'''Good Cop''': Hi, Mom, hi, Dad.
:'''Pa Cop''': ''[chuckles]'' We're okay, son. ''[Pa Cop chuckles, in the real world as Finn and his father are playing with the Lego pieces Mom calls out]''
:'''Mom''': ''[calls out]'' Hey, guys? Time to come up for dinner! It’s Taco Tuesday, your favorite!
:'''The Man Upstairs''': Okay, honey, well, be up in a sec.
:'''Finn''': Oh, yeah, we'll be up in a sec!
:'''The Man Upstairs''': I got to tell you something.
:'''Finn''':  What?
:'''The Man Upstairs''': Now that I'm letting you come down here and play, guess who else gets to come down here and play?
:'''Finn''': Who?
:'''The Man Upstairs''': Your sister.
:'''Finn''': ''[surprised]'' What?
:''[last lines; as everyone Emmet and the gang are having a feast on the Double-Decker couch]''
:'''Emmet''': We'll things sure have a way of working out smoothly. Am I right, guys? ''[suddenly an alien spaceship hovers above them]'' Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat...?
:''[a trio of [[w:Duplo|Duplo]] alien figures descend into the Lego world]''
:'''Duplo''': ''[Baby voice]'' ''Well, we're from the planet Duplon, and we're here to destroy you.''
:'''Emmet''': ... Oh, man. ''[End of The Lego Movie]''

== Cast == 
* [[w:Chris Pratt|Chris Pratt]] as Emmet Brickowski
* [[Will Ferrell]] as President Business/Lord Business/The Man Upstairs (Finn's Father)
* [[w:Elizabeth Banks|Elizabeth Banks]] as Wyldstyle/Lucy
* [[Will Arnett]] as [[w:Batman|Lego Batman]]
* [[w:Nick Offerman|Nick Offerman]] as Metal Beard
* [[w:Alison Brie|Alison Brie]] as Princess Unikitty
* [[w:Charlie Day|Charlie Day]] as Benny
* [[w:Liam Neeson|Liam Neeson]] as Bad Cop/Good Cop/Pa Cop
* [[w:Michael Bell|Michael Bell]] as Robber (2022 release by Universal Pictures)
* [[Morgan Freeman]] as Vitruvius
* [[w:Jadon Sand|Jadon Sand]] as Finn
* [[w:Melissa Sturm|Melissa Sturm]] as Gail/Ma Cop
* [[Anthony Daniels]] as [[w:C-3PO|C-3PO]]
* [[Shaquille O'Neal|Shaquille O'Neal as himself]]
* [[Jake Johnson]] as Barry
* [[w:Robbie Daymond|Robbie Daymond]] as Randy (Uncredited)
* [[w:David Franco|Dave Franco]] as Wally
* [[w:Keegan-Michael Key|Keegan-Michael Key]] as Foreman Jim
* [[w:Will Forte|Will Forte]] as [[Abraham Lincoln|Lego Abraham Lincoln]]
* [[w:Jorma Taccone|Jorma Taccone]] as [[William Shakespeare|Lego William Shakespeare]]/Sheriff Not a Robot
* [[w:David Burrows|David Burrows]] as Octan Robot and Super Secret Police Robots
* [[w:Chris Romano|Chris Romano]] as [[w:Plumber|Plumber]] Joe
* [[w:Amanda Farinos|Amanda Farinos]] as Mom
* [[w:Chris McKay|Chris McKay]] as Larry the [[w:Barista|Barista]]
* [[w:Todd Hansen|Todd Hansen]] as [[w:Gandalf|Gandalf]]/Swamp Creature 
* [[w:Doug Nicholas|Doug Nicholas]] as [[w:Surfer|Surfer]] Dave/Micro Managers
* [[w:Chris Paluszek|Chris Paluszek]] as [[w:Robot|Robot]] [[w:Foreman|Foreman]]
* [[w:Kelly Lafferty|Kelly Lafferty]] as Lord Business' Assistant
* [[w:Graham Miller|Graham Miller]] as Lego [[w:Duplo|Duplo]]
* [[w:Leiki Veskimets|Leiki-Veskimets]] as Octan [[w:Computer|Computer]]
* [[w:Phil Lord and Chris Miller|Chris Miller]] as [[w:TV Presenter|TV Presenter]]

== Release date ==
{| class=&quot;wikitable&quot;
! Laser Pointer !! No. !! Studio !! co-released it with Warner Bros. Pictures&lt;br&gt;and Warner Animation Group
|-
| Violet (Purple) || 5-piece || Amazon Studios (August 29, 2026)&lt;br&gt;Paramount+ (April 2027)&lt;br&gt;Paramount || May 19, 2015 (DVD/Blu-ray/Blu-ray 3D)&lt;br&gt;May 24, 2016 (4K Ultra HD Blu-ray)
|-
| Brown || 6-piece || Starz/Anchor Bay || December 1, 2015
|-
| Yellow || 1-piece || Sony Wonder (April 2025)&lt;br&gt;Amazon Studios (July 2028)&lt;br&gt;Columbia Pictures&lt;br&gt;Sony Pictures Animation || August 2, 2016
|-
| Black || 7-piece || Shout Factory || November 1, 2016
|-
| Gray || 11-piece || Lionsgate in association with&lt;br&gt;Artisan's Family Home Entertainment || October 17, 2017
|-
| White || 10-piece || Kino Lorber || January 2, 2018
|-
| Green || 3-piece || Disney+ (May 2027)&lt;br&gt;Disney/Pixar (November 2025)&lt;br&gt;Hulu (September 2029)&lt;br&gt;20th Century Fox&lt;br&gt;Blue Sky Studios || March 13, 2018&lt;br&gt;April 11, 2023 (Disney Movie Club)
|-
| Pink || 9-piece || MGM/United Artists Releasing || August 6, 2019
|-
| Orange || 8-piece || A24 || December 22, 2020
|-
| Blue || 2-piece || Peacock TV (December 2026)&lt;br&gt;Universal Pictures || September 20, 2022 (Studio Distribution Services)
|-
| Gold || 12-piece || PBS || November 14, 2023
|-
| Aqua Blue || 13-piece || Orion Studios || July 9, 2024
|-
| Silver || 14-piece || Netflix/Netflix Animation || November 4, 2025
|}

== External links ==
* {{imdb title| id=1490017| title=The Lego Movie }}

{{DEFAULTSORT:LEGO Movie, The}}

{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:2014 films]]
[[Category:2010s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero films]]
[[Category:Dystopian films]]
[[Category:Films based on toys]]
[[Category:The Lego Movie]]
[[Category:American films with live action and animation]]</text>
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    <title>Pokémon/Season 12</title>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-27T23:04:45Z</timestamp>
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      <comment>/* Promoting Healthy Tangrowth! */</comment>
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      <text bytes="50381" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Pokémon/Season 1|1]] [[Pokémon/Season 2|2]] [[Pokémon/Season 3|3]] [[Pokémon/Season 4|4]] [[Pokémon/Season 5|5]] [[Pokémon/Season 6|6]] [[Pokémon/Season 7|7]] [[Pokémon/Season 8|8]] [[Pokémon/Season 9|9]] [[Pokémon/Season 10|10]] [[Pokémon/Season 11|11]] [[Pokémon/Season 12|12]] [[Pokémon/Season 13|13]] [[Pokémon/Season 14|14]] [[Pokémon/Season 15|15]] [[Pokémon/Season 16|16]] [[Pokémon/Season 17|17]] [[Pokemon/Season 18|18]] [[Pokémon/Season 19|19]] [[Pokémon/Season 20|20]] [[Pokémon/Season 21|21]] [[Pokémon/Season 22|22]] | [[Pokémon|Main]]
----
&lt;br/&gt;
This is a list of episodes in Pokémon: Diamond and Pearl: Galactic Battles (advertised as Pokémon: DP Galactic Battles), aired in Japan as Pocket Monsters Diamond &amp; Pearl (ポケットモンスター ダイヤモンド&amp;パール Poketto Monsutā Daiyamondo &amp; Pāru?), the twelfth season of the Pokémon animated series, covering the continuing adventures of Diamond and Pearl series protagonist Ash Ketchum as he continues to travel Sinnoh with Dawn, Pikachu, and Brock.

== Get your Rotom Running! ==
*&lt;p&gt;Sometimes it's hard to know,&lt;br /&gt;Which way you're supposed to go,&lt;br /&gt;But deep inside, you know you're strong,&lt;br /&gt;If you follow your heart, you can't be wrong.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Stand up!&lt;br /&gt;(Stand up!)&lt;br /&gt;For what is right!&lt;br /&gt;Be brave!&lt;br /&gt;(Be brave!)&lt;br /&gt;Get ready to fight!&lt;br /&gt;Hold on!&lt;br /&gt;(Hold on!)&lt;br /&gt;We're friends for life!&lt;/p&gt;
** Opening theme song: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQ8PIQbyBJQ ''Battle Cry - (Stand Up!)'']

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Meowth''': &quot;Cookie!&quot;

== A Breed Stampede! ==
:''[When Piloswine is enraged, Gliscor wants to help, however...]''
:'''Ash''': ''[running away from Piloswine]'' Hey, Grotle, do something quick!
:'''Grotle''': ''[rushes off in response]'' Grotle!
:'''Gliscor''': ''[disappointed]'' Gliscor... (Oh, man...)

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jessie''': Hi, ho! Happy howdy!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jessie''': Behave, or I'll have to spank you!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jessie''': I've just the thing in lieu of spanking! Yanmega, Sonic Boom!

== Ancient Family Matters! ==
:'''Byron''': I love fossils!
:'''Roark''': I love them more! I work as the chief of ancient Pokémon excavations in the Oreburgh Mines!
:'''Byron''': Gimme a break! You're still just a kid! You wouldn't know a fossil if it hit you on the head!
:'''Roark''': You'll be sorry you said that, DAD!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Roark''': I'll say this: I don't think I've seen an Anorith fossil as big as this one but when it comes from Pokémon restored from fossils, there's nothing that tops my Rampardos for sure!
:'''Byron''': Sorry to have to correct you but when it comes to Pokémon restored from fossils, my Bastiodon tops everything!
:'''Roark''': COME ON! THERE'S NO POKÉMON STRONGER THAN MY RAMPARDOS!
:'''Byron''': YOU'RE WRONG AGAIN! NOTHING CAN BEAT MY BASTIODON!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Roark''': Somebody dug this hole!
:'''Byron''': I don't believe it! ''[long pause]'' I love this hole! ''[In response, everyone else facefaults]''
:'''Ash''': You do?
:'''Byron''': Give it a good look! Look how perfectly shaped it is! How it slopes gently downwards! Whoever dug this hole has the skill and the craftsmanship of a fearsome hole-digger! ''[everyone else facefaults]'' I must find the artisan who did this! Think of what it would do for my excavations!
:'''Roark''': Dad, you better have a look over there!
:'''Byron''': It can't be! ''[points to the other hole]'' Closer examination reveals this hole was dug by a machine. 
:'''Brock''': ''[as everyone else facefaults]'' Not that!
:'''Roark''': Can't you see that all your fossils have been STOLEN?!
:'''Byron''': Stolen? Nooo! My precious fossil collection is gone!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Meowth''': Yeahaha.

== Dealing with Defensive Types! ==
:''[when facing Steelix]''
:'''Ash''': ''[thinking]'' Okay. Guess I’d better get things movin’. ''[aloud]'' Buizel, Water Gun, let’s go!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Team Rocket''': Crikey, it's a Kabutops!
:'''Meowth''': It must be doing security for the Gym!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Meowth''': Ain't no place like dis place, so dis must be da place!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Ash''': Time for my last Pokémon! Gliscor, I choose you! ''[sends in Gliscor]''
:'''Gliscor''': Gliscor!
:'''Dawn''': What's he doing? If Ash wanted to attack from above, wouldn’t Staravia be better? ''[Actually, Gliscor is part Ground type and Bastiodon's typing (Rock/Steel) is 4x weak to Ground. Staravia is weak to Rock, and no it would not be better]''
:'''Piplup''': Lup! (Yeah!)
:'''Brock''': Ash chose Gliscor after carefully considering Bastiodon’s moves. This is Gliscor’s first battle, so we should expect ''great'' things.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Gliscor is about to be hit by Bastiodon’s Iron Head]''
:'''Ash''': Gliscor, heads up!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[when both Bastiodon and Gliscor are exhausted]''
:'''Ash''': ''[thinking]'' They’re both runnin’ out of gas. The next attack’s gonna decide the battle. ''[aloud]'' Gliscor, use X-Scissor, and attack it ''straight'' on!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After Gliscor performed a sneak attack on Bastiodon, knocking it out]''
:'''Roark''': Bastiodon is unable to battle, and Gliscor’s the winner! The victory goes to Ash from Pallet Town!
:'''Ash''': ''[excited]'' All right, Gliscor, we did it!
:'''Gliscor''': Gliscor! ''[glomps Ash, giggling]'' Gliscor, Gliscor, Gli, Gliscor.
:'''Dawn''': That was great, Ash!
:'''Piplup''': Piplup!
:'''Brock''': Great how you considered Byron's and your Pokémon's type ''and'' played up Gliscor's strong points.
:'''Ash''': Thanks, Brock. But in the end, it was just Gliscor’s spunk. ''[to Gliscor; impressed]'' Not bad for a first Gym battle, Gliscor. Not bad at all.
:'''Gliscor''': ''[happily licks its face]'' Gli, Gliscor.

== Leading a Stray! ==
:'''Meowth''': We eat manhole covers for lunch!

== Steeling Piece of Mind! ==
:'''Galactic Grunt''': Excuse me, Ms. Mars. Ready for the final stage.
:'''Mars''': Well, finally.

== Saving the World from Ruins! ==

== Cheers on Castaways Isle! ==

== Hold the Phione! ==
:'''Team Rocket''': We're blasting off without a flight...

== Another One Gabites the Dust! ==
:'''Ursula''': That Piplup. Hey, you competed in the last Wallace Cup contest, didn't you?
:'''Dawn''': Me? I did. I mean, we did.
:'''Ursula''': Thought so. Yeah, I still really think you winning that contest was a total accident.
:'''Dawn''': So tell me, were you in the Wallace Cup too?
:'''Ursula''':  Well, I was there. The name's Ursula. Of course since I was eliminated in the first round, so you wouldn't remember me.

== Stealing the Conversation! ==
:'''Jenny''': &quot;FYI, I'm not a normal Officer Jenny. I'm a wild Jenny.&quot;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Brock''': &quot;Well, well, Jenny, you've already got my heart in custody, wild Brock is here to make your wildish dreams come true.&quot;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Meowth''': &quot;So we decided to deal with you law-enforcement yahoos walking around with bullying bowling balls by making a power pin that you can't knock down!&quot;

== The Drifting Snorunt! ==

== Noodles! Roamin' Off! ==
:'''James:''' &quot;Well, what do you care for? I thought you were going to become Top Coordinator, girlfriend!&quot;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''James:''' &quot;Carnivine, out you go...and now you're being off-color!&quot;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Meowth:''' &quot;The Meowth you used to know is gone! Since I started working in this noodle joint, I'm blooming bigger than a dozen roses! And now I've finally found somebody who appreciates my talents a lot more than you and James ever did!&quot;

== Pursuing a Lofty Goal! ==
:'''Paul:''' We didn't win because your reaction time was too slow!
:'''Honchkrow:''' [''looks sadly as it hangs its head in shame''] Krow... [Sorry...] 
:[''Paul angrily recalls Honchkrow'']

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Ash shows off his new Staraptor to Paul]''
:'''Ash''': What do you think? Don't you think it's great the Starly you didn't care for evolved into a Staravia and now into a powerful Staraptor? 
:'''Staraptor''': Star!
:'''Paul''': ''[clearly unimpressed]'' It sure took you long enough. ''[Note: It took 105 episodes for Staravia to evolve into Staraptor. Staraptor is often considered to be the slowest developed region bird Ash has owned.]''

== Trials and Adulations! ==

== The Lonely Snover! ==
:'''Dawn''': So, Snover grows berries on its body and Grotle grows nuts! Pokemon are so full of mysteries.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jessie''': Snover berry picking at a breakneck pace!
:'''James''': Dashing all hope while I'm stuffing my face!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jessie''': My sixth sense is telling me this is not cool.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Teacher''': &quot;Look.&quot; ''[gestures towards a nearby town]'' That's Sandalstraw Town over there, and very soon, they're having their contest.
:'''Ash''': Hey, that's super close to here!

== Stopped in the Name of Love! ==
:'''Barry''': You're Team Missile, right?
:'''Meowth''': That's Team Rocket, lugnut!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''James''': Piplup! Evolve not!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jessie''': &quot;If we were to give three tops of the evolution heap to the boss, he'd be so giddy he'd give us the shirt off his back!&quot;
:'''James''': &quot;I don't like his shirt...&quot;

== Old Rivals, New Tricks! ==
:'''Mewoth''': &quot;Mark my words, I've got your next ribbon right here, or I'll eat the whiskers off of my furry face!&quot;

== To Thine Own Pokémon Be True! ==
:''[Note: This departure episode is often deemed by fans to be the most insulting, given that Ambipom was a well developed character gone to waste]''
:'''Dawn''': So that means, you want to play Pokemon Ping-pong, right?
:'''Ambipom''': Ambi-Ambipom! [Right!]
:'''Dawn''': Take good care of Ambipom! Promise me?
:'''O''': Promise. My Pokemon Ping-pong training center is located in Vermillion City. Come visit anytime.

== Battling a Cute Drama! ==
:'''Brock''': You're being inappropriate!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Brock''': &quot;I know you can do it, Croagunk, so just ''do it!!!''&quot;

== Classroom Training! ==

== Sliding Into Seventh! ==
:'''Candice''': Show us your kiai now! Abomasnow!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Candice''': Hah. So that is Ash’s strategy? Abomasnow, use Ice Punch.

== A Pyramiding Rage! ==
:'''Paul''': You said you were serious about wanting to win at Snowpoint City, so why do you still need Torterra to hold your hand? Using a Grass-type in an Ice-type Gym? I guess chuck that blind faith. ''[This is coming from the guy who uses Fire and Electric on Rock-type... but he does have a point]''
:'''Zoey''': Stop right there! Just who do you think you are?!
:'''Dawn''': Zoey, stop!
:'''Zoey''': He has no right talking like that!
:'''Ash''': It's OK, Zoey.
:'''Paul''': Hmm!
:'''Zoey''': I just hope tomorrow at the gym battle, Miss Senior wipes the floor with that jerk!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Meowth''': Don't you have an opinion?
:'''James''': At the risk of bragging, nope!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jessie''': The fate of our future plans is in our hands!
:'''Meowth''': I've got paws!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Brandon''': ''[mockingly]'' Alright, what's wrong? And here I thought you wanted to beat the man who defeated your brother.
:'''Paul''': ''[bitterly recalling his defeated Nidoking]'' The truth is, it's only because you defeated Reggie that my victory over you will have meaning. The challenge you always present to Trainers to find their own strength was something my brother wasn't able to do. But I'm not like my brother! My will gives me strength! And now, you'll see it firsthand!
:'''Brandon:''' Nooo! All wrapped up in the past. But why then do you walk the Pokemon path in the first place? Tell me why do you battle?
:[''Paul getting visibly furious'']
:'''Paul:''' NOW, LAIRON! STANDBY FOR BATTLE!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Paul recalls his defeated Magmar having suffered a devastating loss against Brandon. He hangs his head in embarrassment.]''
:'''Brandon''': Young man, this battle of yours, was this your true battle? You've done an excellent job raising and training your Pokemon but you allowed your emotions to betray you on the battlefield. ''[Additionally, Paul was also living in the past, treating this battle like a grudge match. Paul hearing this, looks up to Brandon]'' We will battle again one day when you learned to control them. ''[Paul, beginning to realize his own errors, silently bows towards Brandon]''

== Pillars of Friendship! ==

== Frozen on Their Tracks! ==

== Pedal to the Mettle! ==
:'''Ash''': Okay, Pikachu, let's do this!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!
:'''Ash''': All right! Buizel, I choose you!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Paul''': Use Stone Edge!
:'''Ash''': Aaah! Stone Edge? Why? ''[Don't you just hate when that happens]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Ash recall Grotle and Paul recall his Honchkrow]''
:'''Reggie''': Ash miscalculated on when to use Synthesis. ''[Dawn is confused]'' Using healing moves leaves your Pokemon completely vulnerable. Consider your opponents condition or be an easy target like Grotle.
:'''Brock''': It sounds like Ash is feeling a lot of pressure.
:'''Dawn''': Do you think so?
:'''Brock''': Ash wanted Grotle to defeat Honchkrow so badly that it clouded his judgement.

== Evolving Strategies! ==
:''[Ash attempts to recall Buizel]''
:'''Ash''': Buizel return!
:''[Buizel stops Ash and gives him the thumbs up signalling he can still battle]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Ash returns his defeated Buizel, due to letting his Pokémon make the call, rather than Ash, himself]''
:'''Reggie''': Buizel was eliminated because of Ash's poor judgement. ''[In other words, Ash was simply over-relying on faith in his Pokemon which does not work when the odds of winning are stacked against him. The trainer is responsible for knowing when to switch  out their Pokémon. Not only that, but his team lacks power and is extremely underdeveloped.]''
:'''Brock''': You're saying that Ash should have had Buizel returned the time before? ''[Reggie nods in agreement]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Chimchar begins to glow]''
:'''Brock''': Chimchar's evolving!
:''[Seconds later, Chimchar becomes Monferno]''
:'''Monferno''': MONFERNO!
:'''Ash''': That's great! You evolved into Monferno! ''[Note: Chimchar wasted 129 episodes to evolve into a Monferno. Ash just tried to defeat Paul using Chimchar without any intention of working on the Blaze ability and evolution. Ash pays the ultimate price for evolving Chimchar too late in the journey.]''

== Uncrushing Defeat! ==
:''[The episode begins at Lake Acuity the morning after the full battle, where Uxie's silhouette briefly appears from under the lake, then vanishes. At the Pokémon Center, all of Ash's Pokémon are seen hospitalized under the care of Nurse Joy and her Chansey and Blissey.]''
:'''Pikachu''': ''[weakly]'' Pi, Pika...
:'''Narrator''': ''[v.o.]'' In the wake of a full Pokémon battle against Paul, Ash and his struggling Pokémon are staying at the Pokémon Center on Lake Acuity to rest, heal and recharge.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[The heroes are watching with concern how Ash’s Pokémon are being treated by Nurse Joy and her Pokémon]''
:'''Piplup''': ''[concerned]'' Piplup?
:'''Dawn''': Piplup, don't worry, soon everyone will be just fine.
:'''Brock''': Right, all we have to do is leave it up to Nurse Joy.
:''[Unable to stand seeing his Pokémon severely injured and his dream crushed, Ash walks away, much to Dawn’s concern]''
:'''Dawn''': Ash, wait. ''[is stopped by Brock]''
:''[opening credits and title]''
:'''James''': ''[o.s.]'' Bombs away! ''[Yanmega pours some dirt over the field]'' After yesterday's trouncing, I sincerely doubt the twerps will be traveling for a while.
:'''Jessie''': Saying they took damage is an understatement at best.
:'''Meowth''': True, but seeing a joust like that makes it worthwhile! 
:'''James''': And how! Those warriors were on fire!'Twas a knock-down, drag-out battle slog fest!
:'''Meowth''': Yeah, and wasn't Chimmy rocking hard?
:'''James''': Yes, not to mention the emotional evolving into Monferno.
:'''Jessie''': But the numbers don't lie, and losing 6 to 2 is a landslide if I ever saw one.
:'''Meowth''': Yeah, bummer!
:'''James''': I'll bet the twerp must be feeling lower than a pit trap.
:'''Meowth''': I'll double that bet.
:'''Jessie''': Attacking twerps when they're at their lowest is Team Rocket rule one.
:'''Meowth''': Can't you turn it down?!
:'''James'''': I’m witless enough!
:'''Jessie''': The predator always preys on the weakest of the twerpish herd. The time to pluck Pikachu is now, while the iron is red hot. So we're faced with an opportunity we can't refuse.
:'''James''': It's times such as these that make me grateful for my day job.
:'''Meowth''': If Jessie's yapping was worth money, we'd be rich.
:'''Wobbuffet''': Wobba, Wobba, Wobba!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gliscor''': ''[crying in pain]'' Gli! Gliscor...
:'''Brock''': Gliscor, don't cry. It'll be over soon.
:'''Happiny''': Happiny.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[while looking how Brock and Nurse Joy treat Ash’s Pokémon, Dawn is depressed and sits down, sighing]''
:'''Piplup''': Pip... Pip?
:'''Dawn''': I just wish there was something I could do to help.
:'''Piplup''': Piplup?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After Piplup made silly face expressions to comfort Dawn]''
:'''Dawn''': Wow, thanks, Piplup. I get it. You’re saying I shouldn’t be down, too.
:'''Piplup''': Piplup.
:'''Dawn''': That’s it! I just had the greatest thought. And you, Piplup, you're just who I need to help me out with this.
:'''Piplup''': Piplup.
:'''Dawn''': ''[runs off off-frame]'' Wow, this is gonna be great!
:''[Meanwhile, as soon as Ash’s Pokémon are resting, Brock and Nurse Joy are putting away all the healing supplies]''
:'''Happiny''': ''[holding a first-aid kit]'' Hap, Happiny. Hap, Hap.
:'''Brock''': ''[takes the first-aid kit]'' Thanks a lot, Happiny. ''[puts the first aid kit in the cupboard, then closes it]''
:'''Nurse Joy''': Brock, I really can’t thank you enough. You’re such a big help.
:'''Brock''': ''[gasps]'' Nurse Joy, I would gladly give of myself completely in order to serve your tiniest desire. ''[pauses in confusion]'' Huh? ''[suddenly notices Croagunk ready to Poison Jab him; hastily]'' Wait, Croagunk, please! You-you’ve got it all wrong, Croagunk! I was just helping Nurse Joy out! You see, it’s all perfectly innocent! That’s it! 
:''[In response, Croagunk powers down Poison Jab, then walks away, much to Brock’s relief]''
:'''Brock''': Huh?
:'''Nurse Joy''': ''[glances at Monferno with concern]'' Oh, dear. Monferno’s recovery seems so slow. I do think it’s because Monferno took so much damage. Brock, please, do you think you could go into the woods near here and look for some Cheri Berries for me?
:'''Brock''': I’d love too. I’ll be back soon.
:''[A moment later, Brock is walking towards Lake Acuity, trying to look for Cheri Berries to cure Ash's Monferno]''
:'''Brock''': Finding Cheri Berries is a lot harder than I thought.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[While Brock is looking for Cheri Berries to heal Monferno]''
:'''Dawn''': And one and two, one and two. One and two, great! You’re all looking wonderful.
:''[everyone cheers]''
:'''Buneary''': Buneary!
:'''Dawn''': All right, now it’s Piplup’s turn.
:'''Piplup''': ''[o.s]'' Piplup!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Ash''': ''[v.o]'' I lost to Paul.
:''[Still feeling guilty, Ash rolls over, only to notice Pikachu standing in front of him]''
:'''Ash''': ''[astonished]'' Huh?! Pikachu!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika, Pi, Pika.
:''[Ash gets up and notices all of his Pokémon in front of him]''
:'''Ash''': ''[delighted]'' Everybody! 
:'''Buizel''': Bui, Bui!
:'''Gliscor''': Gliscor, Gli, Gli, Gliscor.
:'''Grotle''': Grotle.
:'''Staraptor''': Star, Star.
:'''Monferno''': Monferno, Monferno.
:''[Suddenly, Ash’s Pokémon start feeling their pain, to Ash’s and Pikachu’s embarrassment]''
:'''Ash''': ''[concerned]'' Oh, man. Please don't overdo it. ''[starts laughing]'' Okay, you’re all trying to cheer me up now, right?
:'''Pikachu''': ''[regretful]'' Pika...
:'''Ash''': Right! [''gets up''] I’m fine now. I’m not feeling sad one little bit. [''stares at the sky''] Paul sure is tough. He’s got his own way of getting strong, and I’ve gotta admit he gave it his all. That’s how he got strong in the first place. But, hey, we’re gonna get stronger too. It’s not gonna be easy, though. So there’s only one thing to do. We’re gonna have to work harder than Paul. And when we meet up with him again, we’re gonna beat that guy! What do you say, gang? 
:''[in response, all of his Pokémon cheer and happily glomp him]'' 
:'''Ash''': Come on. Get off! Hey, guys, get off! 
:''[a while later, Ash and his Pokémon are returning to the Pokémon Center, when suddenly, much to the Pokémon’s confusion, Ash’s stomach starts to growl]''
:'''Ash''': Oops! Guess I forgot to eat something today.
:''[Pikachu, Staraptor, Grotle, Monferno, Buizel and Gliscor all laugh]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jessie''': Well, well. The twerp Pokémon cheering squad.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[when Ash and his Pokémon came back]''
:'''Ash''': Guys, I’m back.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!
:'''Dawn:''' Ash, Brock just told us he saw it.
:''[Brock nods, much to Ash’s and Pikachu’s confusion.]''
:'''Ash:''' Saw &quot;it&quot;? Saw what?
:''[Nurse Joy and the gang went to the library for answers]''
:'''Nurse Joy''': ''[looking up in a book]'' The Pokémon that you saw at Lake Acuity... ''[pointing at a picture of Uxie]'' Was it this one?
:'''Brock''': Hmm... That’s it! But now that I think about it, the thing I saw was more like a shadow than the actual Pokémon itself.
:'''Dawn:''' It sounds to me like it was the spirit of Uxie that you saw.
:''[A flashback shows Dawn and Piplup seeing Mesprit’s silhouette at Lake Verity]''
:'''Dawn''': [v.o.] Just like the time ''I'' saw Mesprit on Lake Verity.
:''[the flashback ends]''
:'''Ash:''' And just like when...
:''[Another flashback reveals Ash and Pikachu noticing Azelf’s spirit at Lake Valor]''
:'''Ash''': [v.o] ...when I saw ''Azelf'' on Lake Valor.
:''[The flashback ends]''
:'''Nurse Joy:''' Now, according to this book, it says that all three Pokémon have come from the same egg. It also says that from Uxie, who is referred to as &quot;The Being of Knowledge&quot;, comes the wisdom to solve problems. From Mesprit, &quot;The Being of Emotion&quot;, comes the joys and pain of life, and from Azelf, &quot;The Being of Willpower&quot;, comes the resolve to accomplish whatever task may be at hand. And it’s the power of those three that keeps the world in balance. At least that’s what this book is saying.
:'''Dawn:''' To think they’re Legendary Pokémon, and the three of us saw them!
:'''Ash:''' We saw ‘em all right.
:'''Pikachu:''' Pika, Pika.
:'''Piplup''': Piplup.
:'''Brock''': Could it have been an accident? Or do all of these happenings mean something?
:'''Nurse Joy''': It’s mysterious, that’s for sure.
:'''Ash''': Hmm... [''laughs''] I'm not sure why, but this starting to get kinda fun! Right, Pikachu?
:'''Pikachu''': Pika.
:'''Piplup''': ''[to Dawn]'' Piplup, Piplup. 
:'''Dawn''': I’m worried Ash is trying to do too much.
:'''Ash''': ''[confused]'' Whadda ya mean &quot;too much&quot;?
:'''Pikachu''': Pikachu?
:'''Dawn''': ''[singing]'' It’s nothing. But there ''is'' something I wanna show you, though.
:'''Piplup''': Piplup.
:''[Ash and Pikachu both stare at Dawn and Piplup, looking confused and curious. At the same time, inside the Pokémon Center’s storage room, Team Rocket is secretly threading a net of some sort]''
:'''James''': But I worry we’re sorely unprepared this time.
:'''Jessie''': Now, now, worry not. The twerp is bummed out to the point of being beside himself, which will enable us the luxury of effortlessly capturing Pikachu with nary a robot in sight.
:'''Meowth''': I’m makin' sure at least we’ll be shockproof, which is saying somethin’.
:''[As for the heroes, all but Dawn and her Pokémon, seat themselves in the lobby. Cue Dawn entering frame in her Pokémon Contest outfit]''
:'''Dawn''': Warm greetings, ladies and gentlemen. I'd like to start off our proceedings by thanking you all very much for coming to see Dawn's Pokémon Circus.
:'''Ash''': ''[curious]'' Wonder what Dawn’s up to this time.
:'''Nurse Joy''': You see, Dawn's been working really hard practicing for this performance just to cheer you up, and you'll love it.
:'''Ash''': ''[surprised]'' This is for us?!
:'''Pikachu''': ''[delighted]'' Pikachu!
:'''Dawn''': Now, keep your eyes open. We’ll begin Dawn’s Circus with a feat of pure acrobatic skill. 
:''[Dawn pulls the podium blind and opens the curtains, revealing Mamoswine with a pom-pom on his head]''
:'''Mamoswine''': Mamo.
:''[Camera pans to Pachirisu and Buneary standing in front of Mamoswine, ready to perform]''
:'''Pachirisu''': Chipa!
:'''Buneary''': Buneary!
:''[They start to run in a circle around Mamoswine, jump onto him, then make silly faces, much to the audience’s amazement]''
:'''Ash''': ''[amazed]'' Oh, wow!
:''[Pachirisu and Buneary then run in circles, holding each others' paws, then pulls each others' faces, making the audience laugh with amusement, as expected. Then they jump onto Mamoswine again, perform a loop-de-loop while pulling their faces, then pull Mamoswine's face]''
:'''Buneary''': Bun, Buneary.
:'''Dawn''': Great! Everyone, pose.
:''[Mamoswine turns to the audience, then sticks his tongue out]''
:'''Dawn''': Ta-da!
:''[[the heroes laugh, as Dawn expected, until...]''
:'''Piplup''': ''[o.s.]'' Piplup!
:'''Dawn''':  ''[confused]'' Huh?
:'''Piplup''': ''[wearing a clown costume]'' Pip, Piplup! ''[waltzing to Dawn]'' Piplup, Piplup. Piplup, Piplup. Piplup, Piplup. Pip, Piplup. ''[stops in front of Dawn]'' Pip, Piplup.
:'''Dawn''': Well, so you say you can ''really'' do it, Piplup?
:'''Piplup''': ''[self-assured]'' Piplup. ''[jumps up]'' Pip, Piplup!
:''[Piplup comically smacks himself into the ceiling headfirst, making Pachirisu and Buneary juggle with Piplup before the latter gets tossed in the air]''
:'''Piplup''': Pip, Piplup. ''[gets tossed again]'' Piplup.
:''[Cue Piplup getting dizzy after being continuously being tossed in the air]''
:'''Piplup''': Piplup...
:''[Pachirisu and Buneary pop up out of nowhere and pull Piplup’s face]''
:'''Buneary''': Buneary!
:''[The heroes again laugh and cheer out of amusement]''
:'''Dawn''': Okay, again, pose.
:''[Just like before, Mamoswine turns to the audience, then sticks his tongue out. At the same time, Team Rocket is standing in front of the door, ready to storm in]''
:'''Jessie''': Hmm... And now, let’s go and find that bummed-out little twerp and make him even more bummed-out, okay?
:'''James and Meowth''': Yay!
:''[Meanwhile...]''
:'''Dawn''': And now, for the next act, we have...
:'''Team Rocket''': ''[arrive on-screen]'' Da-da-da-da!
:'''Nurse Joy''': Hey, aren’t they the clean-up crew?
:'''Ash''': Wow, this ought to be good.
:'''Jessie''': Uh... ahem. Testing, testing, one, two, three. Now, how many people do you see ''[shouting]'' ALL BUMMED OUT?!
:'''James &amp; Meowth''': ''[gesturing to Ash]'' None other than he.
:'''Meowth''': ''[eerily]'' Aww. Wooks wike we got a sour puss in our midst.
:''[the audience just stares, confused]''
:'''Ash''': ''[confused]'' Uh, that’s kinda weird.
:''[Cut to Team Rocket who are standing beside Mamoswine, whispering]''
:'''Meowth''': That boy's so bummed out his tongue's too depressed to talk.
:'''James''': Tongue depression.
:'''Jessie''': Let's build on a theme. ''[to Ash]'' Rumour has it that someone got crushed in ''his'' last battle, (points to Ash) and that someone would be you.
:'''Ash''': ''[confused]'' Uh, who, me? (Jessie shows him a bottle with a picture of Ash crying)
:'''Jessie''': Well, we’ve got the perfect drink for you because it’s the sports drink of championship losers. (James plays a trombone and Meowth plays the drums) Loser, loser, loser, you stink. Stink! YOU! STINK! STINK! YOU! STINK! YOU STINK! Have I forgotten something? Oh, that’s right. STINK! STINK! And that means “loser”. (James and Meowth make music again while Jessie sings) Loser, loser, loser, loser, loser!
:'''Meowth''': Without further ado, CHECK! THIS! Cool! ''[holding a bazooka]'' It’s our patent special Pikachu get net! ''[aims the bazooka]'' Get set! ''[fires the bazooka, snatching Pikachu out of Ash’s lap]''
:'''Ash''': Pikachu!
:'''Nurse Joy''': Who ''are'' you, anyway?
:'''Jessie''': ''[laughs maniacally]'' If you don't know who we are, you will soon enough.
:'''James''': Watch the twerps go gaga when the going gets rough.
:'''Jessie''': ''[pulls out a shovel]'' Shovel may care.
:'''James''': ''[pulls out a pick]'' Pick a pair.
:'''Meowth''': Want Pikachu? Well, tough.
:'''Jessie''': We bring chaos at a breakneck pace.
:'''James''': We dash all hope and bring fear in its place.
:''[Cue Jessie and James sitting in a balance scale]''
:'''Jessie''': A rose by any other name is just as sweet.
:'''James''': When everything’s worse, our work’s complete.
:'''Jessie''': Jessie!
:'''James''': And James!
:'''Meowth''': Meowth, now that’s a name!
:'''Jessie''': Putting the do-gooders in their place.
:'''James''': We’re Team Rocket!
:'''Team Rocket''': And we’re in your face! 
:''[Cue everyone but Nurse Joy glaring at Team Rocket]''
:'''Nurse Joy''': Wow, what fun.
:'''Ash''': No, you’re wrong, Nurse Joy!
:'''Brock''': Those guys are the ''bad'' guys!
:'''Nurse Joy''': ''[concerned]'' Oh, that’s just ''terrible''.
:'''Dawn''': So it ''was'' Team Rocket!
:'''Ash''': Give Pikachu back ''now''!
:''[Team Rocket starts walking away like crabs]''
:'''Jessie''': If you think we're going to bicker with you when we could be shuffling off to success, you really ''are'' a mess.
:'''Meowth''': We got happy feet!
:'''Team Rocket''': ''[slam the door shut]'' Ain’t it neat? 
:'''Ash''': Hey, come back!
:''[The heroes start chasing Team Rocket outside the Pokémon Center, who gleefully run away with Pikachu in their grasp]''
:'''Ash''': Gimme back Pikachu!
:''[It is shown that Team Rocket is being chased by Ash, Staraptor, Grotle, Monferno, Buizel and Gliscor]''
:'''Jessie''': Stubborn twerps are the ''worst'' twerps. Seviper, atten''tion''!
:'''Seviper''': Seviper!
:'''Jessie''': Please, dear, Haze.
:''[Cue Seviper spitting out its Haze attack]''
:'''Seviper''': Seviper!
:''[Cue Ash and his Pokémon stopping in their tracks due to the upcoming Haze attack, while some off-screen coughing from them can be heard]''
:'''Jessie:''' Smoke get in your eyes!
:'''Meowth:''' We'll say our goodbyes!
:''[Cue back to Ash and his Pokémon caught in the haze, trying to find a way out]''
:'''Ash''': ''[groans]'' Buizel, Water Pulse, quick!
:'''Buizel''': Bui?
:''[cue Buizel ready to use Water Pulse]''
:'''Buizel''': ''[starts forming the orb]'' Bui... ''[holds the Water Pulse up and fires it, clearing Seviper’s Haze]'' Bui!
:''[Cue Team Rocket giving exasperated expressions once noticing Buizel has cleared Seviper’s Haze attack]''
:'''Jessie''': What a bore.
:'''Ash''': Pikachu, Thunderbolt, LET'S GO!
:'''Pikachu''': PIKACHUUUU! ''[uses Thunderbolt, but the net absorbs the attack]''
:'''Meowth''': Keeping the attitude in the bag is what ''we’re'' all about. 
:''[Team Rocket snickers in agreement]''
:'''Ash''': Now, Gliscor, Sand-Attack! Go!
:''[Cue Gliscor hovering above the ground, ready to use Sand-Attack]''
:'''Gliscor''': Gliscor! ''[angrily starts throwing sand]'' Gli, Gli, Gli, Gli...
:''[Team Rocket stops in their tracks thanks to being trapped in a sandstorm created by Gliscor's Sand-Attacks]''
:'''Jessie''': Yanmega, you’re on!
:'''Yanmega''': Yan!
:'''Jessie''': Use SonicBoom!
:'''Yanmega''': Yan!
:'''Gliscor''': ''[gets knocked down]'' Gli!
:'''James''': All right, Carnivine, time to take the reins.
:'''Carnivine''': ''[emerges from its Poké Ball]'' Carnivine! ''[heads for James, much to Jessie's and Meowth's dismay]''
:'''James''': I didn’t say brains, you potted pinhead, I said “reins”. Carnivine, Bullet Seed.
:'''Carnivine:''' Carnivine!
:'''Ash''': All right, Grotle, Energy Ball. Staraptor, you use Aerial Ace!
:'''Grotle''': ''[forms an Energy Ball in front of his mouth and fires it]'' Grotle! 
:''[Grotle’s Energy Ball hits Yanmega, while Staraptor uses Aerial Ace to hit Carnivine, knocking them both out, much to Team Rocket’s shock]''
:'''Ash''': It’s time to finish this thing up! Monferno, Mach Punch!
:''[Monferno rapidly starts firing several Mach Punches like a Bullet Seed attack, knocking Team Rocket over and making Meowth release the net containing Pikachu, much to Dawn’s and Nurse Joy’s delight]''
:'''Dawn''': That was ''amazing''!
:'''Brock''': Monferno's become a real powerhouse since it evolved.
:'''Pikachu''': ''[falls out of the net]'' Pi... ''[relieved]'' Pika, Pi!
:''[Cue Ash, Staraptor, Grotle, Monferno, Buizel and Gliscor feeling delighted to see Pikachu back on their side]''
:'''Ash''': Pikachu!
:'''Pikachu''': Pikachu, Pika, Pika.
:''[As for Team Rocket, however, they and their Pokémon are worn out and depressed from their defeat]''
:'''James''': Even my gloves hurt.
:'''Jessie''': Whoever said that the twerp was bummed from losing his battle and would be an easy mark is an absolute buffoon. Lemme at that idiot.
:'''Meowth''': ''You're'' dat idiot.
:'''Jessie''': WHAT?!
:'''James''': Something about going after &quot;the weakest of the twerp herd.&quot; 
:'''Meowth''': Yeah, and also somethin' profound about pluckin' Pikachu while de iron is hot.
:''[Cue James, Meowth and the Rocket’s Pokémon staring Jessie down]''
:'''James and Meowth''': [''eerily''] That would be our loser, Jessie.
:'''Jessie''': ''[gulps, screams, then angrily starts shouting]'' Don't you make this MY fault! You bunch of babies are in denial! And since you didn't stop me, ''[points at the others]'' it's YOUR fault!
:'''James and Meowth''': When it comes to not facing the truth, ''you're'' the queen of denial!
:'''Jessie''': ''[growls]'' I can't hear you!
:'''Team Rocket''': HUH?!
:''[Much to Team Rocket’s astonishment, they notice Ash and his Pokémon smirking maliciously, still willing to battle. In addition, all seven are partially shrouded with a glowing light]''
:'''Gliscor''': Gliscor!
:'''Buizel''': Bui!
:'''Monferno''': Monferno! 
:'''Grotle''': Grotle!
:'''Staraptor''': Staraptor!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!
:'''Ash''': Hmm... ''[He's BACK!]''

== Promoting Healthy Tangrowth! ==
:'''Ash''': PIKACHU AND PIPLUP, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LAUGHED AT MAMOSWINE LIKE THAT WHEN IT WAS TRYING IT'S BEST!!

== Beating the Bustle and Hustle! ==

== Gateway to Ruin! ==
:'''James''': It appears we've wandered into a brouhaha.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jessie''': The gateway to the watchamacallit is but putty in our hands!

== Three Sides to Every Story! ==
:'''Brock''': Amazing how Piplup's trying to impress Marill.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jessie''': &quot;Nothing is more fun than another's pain!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Piplup, Marill and Elekid are strolling uphill]''
:'''Marill''': ''[singing]'' Marill, Marill, Marill, Marill Marill Marill, Marill--
:''[the trio is suddenly blocked by Team Rocket]''
:'''James''': Okay, company halt!
:'''Jessie''': If it isn't my three-sided bundles of joy!
:'''Meowth''': A normal wacko would stay with 'love triangle' but not Ms. Windbag.
:''[Gliscor is hovering above the havoc, looking confused]''
:'''Gliscor''': Gli?

== Strategy Begins at Home! ==
:'''Ash''': ''[thinking]'' Wow...Nathaniel reminds me of me!

== A Faux Oak Finish! ==
:'''Ash''': Head-to-head? That's great!

== Historical Mystery Tour! ==

== Challenging a Towering Figure! ==

== Where No Togepi Has Gone Before! ==
:'''Brock''': An elevator! Look!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jessie''': That jerk blackened my entire wardrobe!
:'''Meowth''': And turned my boss-bot into an arsonist!

== An Egg Scramble! ==

== Gone with the Windworks! ==

== A Rivalry to Gible On! ==
:'''Dawn:''' Look, Ash. Sometimes you act so reckless you make me want to scream out loud!
:'''Ash:''' Knock it off. I don't need any advice from you.
:'''Dawn:''' WHEN I WANT TO GIVE ADVICE, I'LL GIVE IT!
:'''Ash:''' GIVE IT A REST!
:'''Dawn:''' NO, YOU!
:'''Khoury:''' Now, now. This is no time to fight.
:'''Dawn:''' IT'S THE PERFECT TIME!
:'''Ash:''' I TOLD YOU, I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP!
:'''Dawn:''' OH, YES YOU DO!

== Dressed for Jess Success! ==

== Bagged Then Tagged! ==

== Try for the Family Stone! ==

== Sticking with Who You Know! ==
:'''Dawn:''' No, duh! What's gotten into them, anyway?

== Unlocking the Red Chain of Events! ==

== The Needs of Three! (Agnome, Yuxie, Emrit!) ==
:''[confronting the leader of Team Galactic, Cyrus...]''
:'''Cyrus''': I am part of this. Team Galactic is my creation, and you are now in my creation's headquarters.
:'''Ash''': Headquarters, in here?!
:'''Cyrus''': Correct! We're bringing about the dawn of a new world order, so we're gathered here to discard the old world of discording conflict and make a much better one in place of it.
:'''Ash''': So, it was you who stole Lustrous Orb from the Celestic Ruins! You lied to all of us, and you lied to Cynthia, too!
:'''Cyrus''': Lose your rage. It only destroys.
:'''Dawn''': No way! Not when you treat Pokemon that way! This has gotta stop! Now, let them go back to their lake!

== The Battle Finale of Legend! ==
:'''James''': Heave ho! Let the wind blow!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Team Rocket''': Team Rocket finishes: wind, place, and show!

== The Treasure is All Mine! ==

== Mastering Current Events! ==
:''[The episode begins with the gang travelling through a forest]''
:'''Piplup''': [''exhausted''] Piplup...
:'''Dawn''': Oh, no.
:'''Ash''': Man... Bet ya we’re lost.
:'''Dawn''': How big ''is'' this forest anyway?
:'''Brock''': [''reads the PokéGear''] Heading over this way should get us out of here fast.
:'''Ash''': Gliscor, I choose you! [''sends out Gliscor'']
:'''Gliscor''': Gliscor!
:'''Ash''': Gliscor, have a look.
:'''Gliscor''': Gli! [''flies up above the forest'']
:'''Announcer''': While Dawn’s next Pokémon Contest in Daybreak Town awaits, our heroes seem to have gotten a bit turned around and are presently lost in a deep forest.
:[''the gang keeps on walking, until...'']
:'''Gliscor''': [''from outside the forest''] Gliscor! Gliscor!
:'''Ash''': That way! [''Ash and Co. are out of the forest, which ends up in a mountainous area''] Yeah, we’re outta here!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika?
:'''Ash''': [''astonished by the mountainous area''] Check it out.
:[''Suddenly, they hear familiar sounds from under the canyon.'']
:'''Gliscor''': Gliscor!
:'''Ash''': Gliscor!
:'''Scizor''': [''chasing Gliscor''] Scizor!
:'''Gliscor''': Gliscor!
:'''Ash''': What’s that? [''sees a Scizor chasing Gliscor''] It’s a Scizor!
:'''Gliscor''': [''lands at a safe distance from Scizor''] Gli!
:'''Piplup''': Piplup!
:'''Brock''': Look!
:'''Dawn''': A Chimecho!
:[''Scizor and Chimecho clash against each other.'']
:'''Ash''': [''about Scizor''] Whoa, fast!
:'''Gliscor''': Gli.
:[''Scizor prepares a Metal Claw attack.'']
:'''Brock''': Look, Scizor’s using Metal Claw.
:[''Chimecho uses Psywave to block the Metal Claw.'']
:'''Ash''': Chimecho’s using Psywave back.
:'''Scizor''': [''blocks the Psywave''] Scizor! [''preparing a Double Hit attack''] Sciz!
:'''Brock''': This time it’s Double Hit.
:''[Ash gasps, amazed]''
:'''Gliscor''': [''amazed''] Scor... (Whoa...)
:'''Scizor''': [''hits Chimecho and sends it flying''] Scizor!
:'''Gliscor''': Gliscor! (Look out!)
:''[Gliscor and Pikachu get out of the way as Chimecho hits Piplup head-first, knocking him out.]''
:'''Piplup''': Piplup!
:'''Dawn''': [''concerned''] Piplup, no!
:'''Piplup''': [''unconscious''] Piplup... 
:''[theme song and title, then the scene changes to a concerned Dawn holding her Piplup.]''
:'''Piplup''': [''moaning''] Lup...
:'''Dawn''': Piplup, please tell you’re all right.
:'''Maya''': [''as her balloon lands''] Sorry, I never thought people or Pokémon would be way out here like this. [''to her Chimecho; concerned''] Chimecho, are you okay?
:'''Chimecho''': [''gets up''] Chime, Chime. Chime, Chime, Chime.
:[''Dawn opens her Pokédex, looking up about Chimecho.'']
:'''Rosette''': Chimecho, the Wind Chime Pokémon. Its cries, which reverberate in its hollow body, emerge as notes of beauty, which drive off its opponents.
:[''Another balloon lands, and McCann and his Scizor step out.'']
:'''McCann''': Huh? I’ll be. I’m shocked to find signs of life in this thick forest.
:'''Ash''': Excuse me. Hey, is that your Scizor?
:[''a while later'']
:'''Maya''': Wow. You don’t know who this is, do you?
:'''Ash''': Hmm... Guess I don’t.
:'''McCann and Maya''': ''[shocked]'' Huh?
:'''Dawn''': Well, I sure know. They did a story on you for “Sinnoh Now”. 
:'''Brock''': Huh?
:'''Dawn''': Yeah, you’re that Air Battle Master.
:'''Maya''': McCann.
:'''Ash''': Air Battle Master?
:'''Maya''': Right, that's it. See, when it comes to air battling, my Grandfather McCann is undefeated and unbeatable.
:'''Ash''': ''[impressed]'' Wow.
:'''Maya''': But now that he’s retired, he lives a quiet life up in the mountains near here. Sometimes he even lets me battle him.
:'''Brock''': I see! So what’s what that air battle was all about!
:'''McCann''': Now, the thing is, the way the wind blows around here makes this valley quite unique. It’s about as perfect for air battles as you’re going to get.
:'''Maya''': Every so often, someone asks Grandpa to teach them everything he knows. So many seem to wanna learn every last one of his secrets. Just yesterday, a student asked to help him make his Crobat stronger.
:'''Brock''': And so did you help him out?
:'''McCann''': Nah. I said he didn’t have a chance.
:'''Maya''': Right. See, most people don’t have a chance, but even if they can’t become students, they bring their Pokémon to be trained, right, Grandpa?
:'''McCann''': Right, dear. 
:'''Maya''': So most requests get turned down right from the start.
:'''McCann''': I figure if there’s no chance for them to become strong, it’s a waste of my time.
:'''Gliscor''': [''pops up behind Ash''] Gliscor!
:'''Ash''': Huh? Gliscor, wanna try?
:'''Gliscor''': [''eager''] Gliscor, Gliscor!
:'''Ash''': Mr. McCann, would you consider battling my Gliscor, please? You see, we’re on a journey together to win the Sinnoh League.
:'''McCann''': Are you saying your Gliscor is strong?
:'''Ash''': Yeah. Gliscor’s a huge help in my gym battles.
:'''Gliscor''': Gliscor!
:'''McCann''': Well, I wonder about that.
:'''Dawn''': It’ll be great! Please?
:'''Brock''': It sure would.
:'''Pikachu''': [''happily''] Pika, Pika!
:'''Piplup''': Piplup, Piplup!
:'''Maya''': Why not? Since you’re retired, there’s not that much to do.
:'''McCann''': Perhaps. Might be a nice way to kill some time.
:[''Dawn and Brock both sweat drop and chuckle, while Gliscor gives a &quot;I don't get it&quot; look.'']
:'''Ash''': Kill some time, huh?
:'''McCann''': Scizor, let’s go! [''brings out Scizor'']
:'''Scizor''': Scizor!
:'''Gliscor''': Gli!
:'''Dawn's Pokédex''': “Scizor, the Pincer Pokémon. It threatens enemies with its eye-patterned claws, which can swing with tremendous force when used in battle.”
:'''Dawn''': Wow. Strong.
:'''Ash''': Yeah.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Ash''': C'mon, Gliscor. You know you can't turn well at that speed.
:'''Dawn''': Gliscor, you gotta wake up.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jessie''': Puh-leeze. You’d think the twerps were using vanishing cream.
:'''Meowth''': Well, they slathered it on when they hit the forest.
:'''James''': So twerpishly slick.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Maya''': Grandpa, shouldn’t you wrap this up soon?
:'''McCann''': I suppose. No sense wasting anymore of my time. [''to Scizor''] Scizor, Hyper Beam, let’s go!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:[''After Gliscor lost against Scizor and once the balloon lands.'']
:'''Gliscor''': Gli...
:'''Ash''': Gliscor, are you okay?
:'''Gliscor''': [''recovers''] Gli...
:'''Brock''': That was rough.
:'''Ash''': Yeah. Poor Gliscor wasn’t even able to get in a single hit.
:'''Gliscor''': [''tears up''] Gli...
:'''Ash''': Hey, Gliscor, don’t cry.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:[''During sunset, Gliscor is still crying about its defeat.'']
:'''Ash''': Yeah, that was a tough loss, eh, Gliscor?
:'''Gliscor''': [''looks at Ash''] Gliscor. Gli...
:[''After sunset, inside the guest house, the gang is having dinner. Gliscor, however, is not hungry, but instead mourning about its defeat'']
:'''Ash''': Gliscor? Not much of an appetite, huh?
:'''Dawn''': You've gotta eat if you wanna get stronger.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika, Pika!
:'''Piplup''': Piplup!
:'''Gliscor''': ''[reluctant]'' Gli... (Fine...)
:'''Piplup''': Lup. [''starts eating'']
:'''Gliscor''': [''reaches for its bowl, much to its reluctance; with a full mouth''] Gliscor.
:[''several minutes later, after dinner'']
:'''Ash''': [''holds up Gliscor’s Poké-Ball''] 'Kay, Gliscor, time for bed.
:[''short pause'']
:'''Gliscor''': [''reluctant''] Scor. (No.)
:'''Ash''': But, Gliscor, you’ve gotta get some rest.
:'''Brock''': I guess Gliscor’s got a lot to think about.
:'''Ash''': Guess so...
:[''While the gang falls asleep, Ash loses grasp of Pikachu.'']
:'''Pikachu''': [''wakes up''] Pika? [''rubs his eye, then goes outside. At the edge of the valley, Gliscor is gazing at the moon, still mourning about its loss; off-screen''] Pika, Pika?
:'''Gliscor''': Gli. (Hmm?)
:'''Pikachu''': Pikachu.
:'''Ash''': [''approaches them''] Gliscor.
:'''Gliscor''': [''looks away''] Gli.
:'''Ash''': Too upset to sleep, huh?
:'''Gliscor''': Scor. (Yeah.)
:'''Ash''': Hey, what do you say we take a whack at trying to read the wind, just like McCann said?
:'''Gliscor''': [''heads up''] Gli? (Really?) [''grinning''] Scor. (Yes.)

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Ash''': [''thinking''] What'd he say about reading the wind? Yeah, got it!
:[''Cut to Gliscor chasing Staraptor, who has a rope tied to his tail.'']
:'''Staraptor''': Star.
:'''Gliscor''': Gli.
:'''Ash''': Gliscor, that’s it! Just keep on chasing after the rope!
:'''Staraptor''': Staraptor.
:'''Gliscor''': Gliscor.
:'''Dawn''': [''holding a paper bag''] Here, Ash, try using this.
:'''Ash''': Dawn!
:'''Dawn''': I took a bit tinfoil and used it to make confetti. Watch this. [''throws some confetti in the air, which reveals the wind once caught in it'']
:'''Ash''': Whoa, great! Now you can see the wind. [''to Gliscor''] Now, Gliscor, follow that trail! 
:'''Gliscor''': [''starts following the confetti''] Gli!
:'''Ash''': [''is given the bag''] Thanks a lot, Dawn. [''to Gliscor''] Gliscor, look down! [''throws some confetti''] Here’s more!
:'''Gliscor''': [''following the next trail of confetti''] Scor!
:'''Ash''': You’re really riding the wind!
:'''Pikachu''': [''happy''] Pika, Pika!
:[''Meanwhile, Team Rocket are travelling in their balloon at night while suddenly some tinfoil hits them.'']
:'''Meowth''': What’s with the sparkles?
:'''James''': That’s flying tinfoil.
:'''Jessie''': For what?
:'''Meowth''': [''points at something off-screen''] That! 
:'''Gliscor''': Gliscor! [''lands in Team Rocket’s balloon basket'']
:'''Meowth''': [''to Jessie and James''] This Gliscor’s from the twoips. [''to Gliscor''] What are you doing on a night like this?
:'''Gliscor''': [''calmly''] Gliscor, Gli. Gli, Gliscor, Gli.
:'''Jessie''': Translation, please.
:'''Meowth''': Gliscor’s trying to read the wind so it can battle Scizor for the win.
:'''James''': I see... not.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[about Team Rocket]''
:'''Ash''': Why are they here? It's night.
:'''Dawn''': Right.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''McCann''': Really? You want an air battle with me again?
:'''Maya''': Even though Gliscor wasn’t able to land a single hit before?
:'''Ash''': ''[as he and Gliscor bow]'' Yes, we do. We’re asking for another chance, please.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika.
:'''Piplup''': Piplup.
:'''Dawn''': Oh, please, sir. Ash and Gliscor worked really hard all night long learning to read the wind. 
:'''Brock''': They get it now.
:'''Ash''': ‘Course, we might not be able to beat Scizor after all of this, but still. We really wanna check how far we’ve come and look at Gliscor’s progress.
:'''Gliscor''': [''determined''] Gli!
:'''McCann''': Dear, what should I do?
:'''Maya''': Well, there’s always more time to kill, so why not?
:[''a moment later, Ash’s Gliscor and McCann’s Scizor are prepared for the rematch.'']
:'''McCann''': All right, then. Ready to go?
:'''Ash''': Yeah.
:'''Dawn''': Do it, Gliscor! Good luck.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika, Pika!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:[''When Gliscor’s X-Scissor missed Scizor, much to Ash's frustration.'']
:'''Dawn''': Scizor’s so fast. It’s amazing.
:'''McCann''': Metal Claw!
:'''Scizor''': [''powers up Metal Claw''] Sciz...
:'''Gliscor''': [''determinedly dodges the Metal Claw''] Gli.
:'''McCann''': Oh, so Gliscor can dodge now.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Ash''': Gliscor, do it!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:[''After Gliscor lost a second time.'']
:'''Ash''': Gliscor, you okay?
:'''Gliscor''': Gli...
:'''Ash''': So we lost again.
:'''Gliscor''': Gli.
:'''Ash''': But not only did you learn how to read the wind, you learned a brand-new move, too. And that’s really good, you know?
:'''Gliscor''': ''[smiles]'' Gli.
:'''Dawn''': Sure is, it’s great!
:'''Brock''': That’s real progress
:'''Pikachu''': Pika, Pika!
:'''Piplup''': Piplup, Piplup!
:'''Maya''': Yeah, that performance really wasn’t bad at all.
:'''McCann''': Indeed. Tell me, Ash. How would you like to leave Gliscor with me for a little training?
:'''Ash''': Leave Gliscor here?
:'''McCann''': If your Gliscor was able to read the wind that well in just one night, there’s a making of a great pupil here.
:'''Ash''': [''stunned''] Whoa, I don’t know what to say.
:'''McCann''': It’s quite amazing how this reminds me of the very first time I met Scizor. It’s been a long time since I’ve met a Pokémon I wanted to train.
:'''Gliscor''': [''shocked''] Gliscor? [''stares at the ground, thinking''] Gli...

== Double Time Battle Training! ==

== A Meteoric Rise to Excellence! ==
:'''Ash''': I can't believe Team Rocket would even pull a stunt like this.

== Gotta Get a Gible! ==
:'''Meowth''': That jerk's got ostentatious-itis!

==External  links==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:Japanese TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime and manga series]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Take This Waltz</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>160398</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158780</id>
      <parentid>2498700</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T07:49:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Spectrallights</username>
        <id>3119938</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
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      <text bytes="3911" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Take This Waltz (film)|Take This Waltz]]''''' is a [[w:2011 in film|2011 film]]  comedy-drama film that centers on Margot, a 28-year-old freelance writer as she struggles with and examines her feelings for Lou, her husband of five years, while exploring a new relationship with Daniel, an artist and rickshaw driver who lives across the street.

==Margot==
*Sometimes I'm... walking along the street and a shaft of sunlight falls in a certain way across the pavement and I just wanna cry. And then a second later, it's over. I decide because I'm an adult, to not succumb to the momentary melancholy; and I thought that sometimes with Tony, she just had a moment like that. A moment of not known how or why, and she just let herself go into and there was nothing anyone could do to make it any better. It was just her and the fact of being alive, colliding.

==Daniel==
*You seem restless, in a kind of permanent way.
* I've been thinking about that airport fear of yours, of being in between things. I think I kinda hate it too. I know it's kind of the nature of being alive, but I'd like to avoid it wherever possible. I don't think I wanna be in between things.

==Geraldine==
*Life has a gap in it. It just does. You don't go crazy trying to fill it like some lunatic.

==Lou==
*''[trying to lighten the mood after Margot has just asked for a divorce]'' At least I have my testicles.
* ''[to a hesitant Margot]'' Get in. What are you doing? What the fuck? You're going to ride in a rickshaw!

==Dialogue==
: '''Margot''': I'm married.
: '''Daniel''': Oh. That's too bad.
: ''[gets out of the taxi]''
: '''Daniel''': That's too bad cause I live right here.
: '''Margot''': Oh shit.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
: '''Margot''': A dog is like a starter for a kid.
: '''Lou''': No, a dog is like a starter for a cow...or a bigger animal.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
: '''Margot''': I'm afraid of being afraid.
: '''Daniel''': That sounds like the most dangerous thing in the world.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
: '''Margot''': I'd like to make a date to kiss you.
: '''Daniel''': Well... my schedule's fairly flexible.
: '''Margot''': Is it flexible in 30 years?
: '''Daniel''': 30 years?
: '''Margot''': I'd like to see you at the lighthouse in Louisbourg. I'd like to meet you there. I'll be 58, I don't know how old you'll be...
: '''Daniel''': I'll be 59.
: '''Margot''': I'd like to see you there, on this date, at... 2PM. Eastern Standard time. August 5th, 2040, I'd like to kiss you. Until then, I'm married. But after 35 years of being faithful to my husband I think I'll have earned one kiss from you.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
: '''Lou''': Maybe you should take a shower. It'll make you feel better.
: '''Margot''': I don't want to take a shower.
: '''Lou''': Just do me a favor, ok?
: ''[when Margot is using the shower, Lou splashes cold water on her. Margot always thought the cold water was the result of a plumbing problem and is surprised to see it’s actually just Lou playing a prank]''
: '''Margot''': You?
: '''Lou''': Yeah.
: '''Margot''': Every — ?
: '''Lou''': Every day.
: '''Margot''': There's no —
: '''Lou''': ''[straight-faced]'' There's no problem with the water. There's nothing to get fixed. I thought when we're 80, I'll tell Margot I've been doing this her whole life, and it'll make her laugh. As kind of a long-term joke.
: '''Lou''': ''[leaves]''
: '''Margot''': ''[laughs and starts to cry]''

==Cast==

* [[w:Michelle Williams (actress)|Michelle Williams]] - Margot
* [[w:Seth Rogen|Seth Rogen]] - Lou Rubin
* [[Sarah Silverman]] - Geraldine
* [[w:Luke Kirby|Luke Kirby]] - Daniel
* [[w:Aaron Abrams|Aaron Abrams]]  - Aaron Rubin
* [[w:Jennifer Podemski|Jennifer Podemski]] - Karen

== External links==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:2011 films]]
[[Category:Comedy-drama films]]
[[Category:Canadian films]]
[[Category:Spanish films]]
[[Category:Japanese films]]
[[Category:Independent films]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Penguins of Madagascar</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>161947</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158692</id>
      <parentid>3157214</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T22:36:31Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
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      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="45551" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
[[File:Penguins of Madagascar logo.svg|thumb|Who says penguins can't fly?]]
'''''[[w:Penguins of Madagascar|Penguins of Madagascar]]''''' is a 2014 American [[w:3D film|3D]] [[w:computer animation|computer-animated]] [[w:action comedy film|action comedy film]], produced by [[w:DreamWorks Animation|DreamWorks Animation]] and distributed by [[w:20th Century Fox|20th Century Fox]]. It is a spin-off of the ''[[w:Madagascar (franchise)|Madagascar]]'' film series, and takes place right after the events of ''[[Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted]]'', following the penguins Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private in their own [[w:spy thriller|spy thriller]]. Apart from the main characters, it is unrelated to ''[[The Penguins of Madagascar]]'' (which is set in its own continuity). It is the only film in the Madagascar franchise that was distributed by [[w:20th Century Fox|20th Century Fox]] and was the final film produced by [[w:Pacific Data Images|Pacific Data Images]] before its closure on January 22, 2015.

The film is directed by [[w:Simon J. Smith|Simon J. Smith]] and [[w:Eric Darnell|Eric Darnell]], and written by [[w:Michael Colton|Michael Colton]] and [[w:John Aboud|John Aboud]]. The film was released on November 26, 2014.

==Dialogue==
:'''[[Werner Herzog|Documentary filmmaker]]''': ''[first lines; narrating]'' [[w:Antarctica|Antarctica]], an inhospitable wasteland, but even here, on the Earth's frozen bottom, we find life.
:''[The wind blows away the snow, revealing an egg and it rolls down the hill]''
:'''Documentary filmmaker''': And not just any life… penguins. Joyous, frolicking, waddling, cute and cuddly life. Look at them, tumbling onto their chubby bum bums. Who could take these frisky snow-clowns...?
:''[The older penguins almost fall on baby Skipper, Rico, and Kowalski, who move out of the way]''
:'''Skipper''': ''[interrupting the narration]'' Seriously? Does anyone even know where we're marching to?
:'''Penguin #1''': Who cares?
:'''Penguin #2''': I question nothing.
:'''Penguin #3''': Me, too.
:'''Penguin #4''': Me, too.
:'''Skipper''': Well, fine. We'll just fly to the front of the line and see for ourselves. Kowalski, Rico, engage aerial surveillance.
:''[They flap their wings but cannot fly]''
:'''Kowalski''': Skipper, we appear to be flightless.
:'''Skipper''': ''[looks at his wings]'' Oh, well, what's the point of these?
:''[Rico seems to have an idea. He hits Skipper's wing in some sort of high 5]''
:'''Skipper''': Whoa, I like it! Hey, this could be our thing! What're we gonna call it? Let's call it the, uh... high 1.
:''[The egg rolled passed Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico]''
:'''Skipper''': Hey, anybody see that? That's an egg! Is somebody gonna go get it?
:'''Penguin #5''': We can't do that.
:'''Skipper''': Why not?
:'''Penguin #6''': Well, it's a dangerous world out there and we're just penguins. You know, nothing but cute and cuddly.
:'''Penguin #7''': Yeah. Why do you think there are always documentary crews filming us? 
:''[The view zooms out to see two men each with a camera and a microphone for filming]''
:'''Penguin #8''': Well, sorry, kid. You know, we lose a few eggs every year. It's just nature.
:'''Skipper''': Oh, right, nature. I guess that makes sense, but something... something deep down in my gut tells me that it just doesn't make any sense at all. You know what? I ''reject'' nature!
:''[The other penguins gasp]''
:'''Skipper''': Who's with me?
:''[With a shout, Skipper goes after the egg, much to Kowalski's and Rico's confusion]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[The penguins have just blown up an old ship]''
:'''Skipper''': Kowalski, analysis?
:'''Kowalski''': We are really... awesome at this!
:'''Skipper''': Boys, we did it! Mission accomplished! Hey, we can do our thing! High 1!
:''[They all high 1, until Skipper accidentally hits the egg they just saved]''
:'''Skipper''': Ooh. My bad.
:'''Rico''': Uh-oh!
:''[The penguins all look in awe as the egg is about to hatch]''
:'''Skipper''': Look, it's... it's the miracle of birth.
:'''Kowalski''': A moment... of extraordinary beauty.
:''[Suddenly, the egg explodes open, much to the disgust of the trio]''
:'''Skipper''': Daaagh!! That is disgusting! I think I have amniotic sac in my mouth!
:''[Much to the trio's surprise, the newly hatched Private gets up and chuckles. Skipper, Kowalski and Rico look at him lovingly]''
:'''Private''': Hello! Are you my family?
:''[The trio turns, knowing that they're far away from land, and nod to each other before turning back to face Private]''
:'''Kowalski''': You don't have a family, and we're all going to die. Sorry.
:'''Private''': ''[concerned]'' Wh-wha...?
:''[Skipper elbows Kowalski]''
:'''Kowalski''': What? I-I thought that was what we were all nodding about.
:'''Skipper''': ''[hits Kowalski again]'' No one's gonna die! ''[to Private]'' You know what you've got, kid? You've got us. We've got each other, and if that ain't a family, I don't know what is.
:''[Skipper salutes Private, who does the same thing. He tussles his head]''
:'''Skipper''': So adorable. Kowalski, what's our trajectory?
:'''Kowalski''': 95% certain we're still doomed.
:'''Skipper''': And the, uh... other 5%?
:'''Kowalski''': Adventuring and glory like no penguins have ever seen before.
:'''Skipper''': I'll take that action.
:'''Private''': Where are we going?
:'''Skipper''': The future, boys. The glorious future.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': 10 years ago, on this very day, a tiny egg hatched, and our world got a little cuter. So tonight, Private, we celebrate your birthday by infiltrating the United States Gold Depository in Fort Knox!
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[At the gold depository of Fort Knox]''
:'''Skipper''': Private, if you could have anything you wanted in the ''whole'' wide world, what would it be?
:'''Private''': Well, gee, Skipper. I think to be a meaningful and valued member of this team.
:'''Skipper''': Oh, well, we got you something else.
:''[The views pans to a vending machine in the break room]''
:'''Private''': A vending machine?
:'''Skipper''': Well, not just any vending machine, Private. The last remaining home in America's nanny states for those succulent and chemically-hazerdous bits of puffed heaven called...
:'''Private''': ''[gasps]'' Cheezy Dibbles!
:''[Skipper gives Private a coin]''
:'''Skipper''': Happy ding-dong birthday, ya little scamp!
:''[In response, Private pecks Skipper on the cheek, followed by Kowalski, finally giving one to Rico, only for the latter to hold Private for 10 seconds]''
:'''Skipper''': You mess with the bull, you get the horns, Private. Now hit that machine and get your present.
:''[Private tosses the coin into the machine and tries to reach in the slot to get the bag]''
:'''Skipper''': We just broke in the most secure facility in North America. Do you know what that means?
:'''Kowalski''': We're wanted criminals who will be on the lam for the rest of their lives, always feeling the hot breath of Johnny Law on our necks?
:'''Skipper''': No! It means, as elite units go, we're the elitist of the elite. Top shelf in the bureau. The penultimate... +1.
:''[As Private struggles to get the bag out from the vending machine, he ends up getting pulled into it by an octopus's tentacle]''
:'''Skipper''': Where'd Private go?
:''[The trio walk closer to the vending machine and spot Private, who is stuck up in it]''
:'''Kowalski''': Oh, there he is. D3.
:'''Skipper''': Oh, Private. How much is he?
:'''Kowalski''': He's $3.50, sir.
:'''Skipper''': Well, that's outrageous... even for Private.
:''[Suddenly, the tentacle comes out of the vending machine slot, grabs Rico and takes him into it, too!]''
:'''Kowalski''': Sir, the machine is alive!
:''[The tentacle comes out of the vending machine again and takes Kowalski]''
:'''Skipper''': ''[angrily]'' Well, I don't think I like your attitude, vending machine… or your prices! ''[in battle stance]'' Release them!
:''[The tentacle comes back out and grabs Skipper in]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[The penguins, having been captured by the vending machine, are flown to a submarine in Venice. Skipper looks around from the cage]''
:'''Skipper''': Kowalski, analysis.
:'''Kowalski''': All evidence indicates... ''[his stomach grumbles]'' Oooh, I ate too many Cheezy Dibbles.
:''[Private coughs out an orange cloud of dust]''
:'''Skipper''': We're behind enemy lines and incredibly thirsty. Rico, bust us out of these delicious prison.
:''[Rico sticks out his tongue holding a paper clip and uses it to unlock the cage door.]''
:'''Skipper''': Nice work, Rico. You're a meaningful and valued member of this team.
:''[As the penguins exit the cage, Private becomes upset. Then he looks at the paper clip, takes it and swallows it. He tries coughing it up, but no success]''
:'''Skipper''': Private, quit lollygagging… and regular gagging. 
:'''Private''': Sorry.
:'''Skipper''': It's dark and ominous. 2 of my least favorite traits in a room.
:'''Private''': Ooh, look, a button!
:'''Skipper''': Huh? Private, don't!
:''[Private pushes the button anyway and a platform underneath them descends and they drop down to another room]''
:'''Skipper''': Now what have I told you about–?
:''[Private presses another button]''
:'''Private''': Sorry, what?
:''[A giant device wheels over and a laser pops out, pointing at the penguins]''
:'''Kowalski''': It looks like some sort of giant laser sent to kill us all, sir.
:''[Skipper steps back from the laser's angle]''
:'''Private''': Ooh, another one!
:'''Skipper, Kowalski and Rico''': NO!
:''[They stop Private from pressing a third button. Suddenly, drops of water comes down on the panel and on the flippers. The penguins look up to see something]''
:'''Male voice''': ''♪ Naughty, naughty. ♪''
:''[A man with glasses walks in]''
:'''Scientist''': Pretty birds belong in their cages.
:''[The scientist is seen walking on the catwalk, but the camera shows that he is walking upside down. He drops down and his limbs are tangled up. The penguins groan in disgust. The scientist gets himself in that tangled position and screws his head right]''
:'''Penguins''': Ew!
:'''Scientist''': Now, that's just hurtful. And I was so happy to see you again.
:''[The scientist untangles himself]''
:'''Scientist''': Skipper,
:''[Skipper gasps]''
:'''Scientist''': Kowalski, Rico, and sweet little Private.
:''[The scientist taps on Private's beak]''
:'''Private''': Boop!
:'''Skipper''': Who are you?
:'''Scientist''': The humans know me as Dr. Octavius Brine - enowned geneticist, cheese enthusiast, and frequent donor to NPR pledge drives… but you know me by a different, much older name. A name perhaps you hope you'd never hear again. A phantom! A shadow of a former life! I... am...
:''[Dr. Brine transforms into a purple octopus, who emerges from the costume]''
:'''Octopus''': Dave!
:''[The penguins gave long surprised looks at Dave with the Dr. Brine wig still on his head]''
:'''Skipper''': Kowalski?
:'''Kowalski''': Sorry, sir. No clue.
:''[Dave removes the wig]''
:'''Dave''': ''(That's better.)'' Dave!
:'''Kowalski''': Dave.
:'''Dave''': Dave.
:'''Skipper''': Dave?
:'''Dave''': &quot;Dave&quot;.
:'''Private''': Dave.
:'''Dave''': Dave!
:'''Rico''': Bleh.
:''[Dave looks at the penguins a confused look. A cricket chirp is heard. The penguins look down to see a cricket doing the chirp, then stop]''
:'''Cricket''': Sorry.
:''[The cricket goes to leave, but he stops and turns]''
:'''Cricket''': Wait, wait! Uh, I live this way.
:''[The cricket walks off]''
:'''Skipper''': Go ahead, Dan. Continue.
:'''Dave''': ''(OK. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah. Wait a second.)'' You seriously don't remember me?
:''[Skipper's eyes shift from side to side]''
:'''Skipper''': ''(Uh, I mean…)'' Dave! Dave! Right! Oh yeah, long time. Uh, how's the wife? ''(Uh-oh.)''
:''[Dave punches the wall above Skipper's head]''
:'''Dave''': I've never been married! You may not remember me, but I could never forget ''you''.
:''[Dave grabs a snow globe and shakes it]''
:'''Dave''': Let's shake up some old memories. [[w:New York City|New York City]].
:''[The scene changes showing years ago at the Central Park Zoo, showing Dave's old tank, where he entertains people with his tricks]''
:'''Dave''': The Central Park Zoo. Life was good! Roomy tank, great location, monkey house views. And of course, my adoring legions of fans!
:'''Girl''': Cool!
:'''Dave''': ''[voiceover]'' Dave! The octopus of 1,000 tricks.
:''[His tentacle goes through his ear bringing a ball through]''
:'''Boy''': Awesome!
:'''Dave''': ''[voiceover]'' I was the total package.
:''[He takes a jar and squeezes himself in and squirts ink making him hover]''
:'''Man''': ''[offscreen]'' Hey, kids! Get up here! You need to see this! 
:'''Woman''': Come on, kids! Come on!
:''[Dave, who looks confused, comes out of the water and sees the baby penguins]''
:'''Dave''': ''[voiceover]'' And then you arrived.
:'''Man''': Oh, they're so adorable!
:'''Baby Skipper''': Just, uh... smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.
:'''Dave''': ''[voiceover]'' And took everything from me.
:'''Girl''': They're so adorable!
:'''Woman''': Have you ever seen anything cute?
:''[Dave has been taken from his tank and put in a box in a truck]''
:'''Dave''': ''[voiceover]'' 4 adorable baby penguins! With you around, no one wanted an old octopus anymore. &quot;Out you go, Dave!&quot;
:''[The scene changes to the San Diego Zoo, with Dave in his tank next to a penguin exhibit]'' 
:'''Dave''': And so it went, over and over again. At zoo…
:'''Girl''': Dad, look!
:'''Dave''': …after aquarium.
:'''Penguin Fan''': I can't see the penguins, man!
:''[A zookeeper rolls Dave away]'' 
:'''Dave''': ''[voiceover]'' Adorable penguins stole the show. 
:'''Penguin Fan''': Whoo! Yeah!
:'''[Dave is shipped to the Brazil Zoo, where people watch the penguins dance. Dave stares there, looking sad as an employee goes to the restroom and water is let out of his tank]'' 
:'''Dave''': While I was shunned. Forgotten. Unwanted.
:''[In the present]''
:'''Dave''': Alone.
:'''Private''': That sounds awful!
:'''Dave''': Oh, it was. I came to realize some creatures are born to get all the love. The rest of us get ''nothing''! The only thing that has kept me going all these years is my ''burning'' thirst for revenge!
:''[Skipper and Kowalski stare confusedly]''
:'''Dave''': And my precious souvenir snow globe collection.
:''[Rico swallows all the snow globes]''
:'''Dave''': Ah! What is ''wrong'' with you?!
:''[Rico grunts &quot;I don't know&quot;, then swallows the last one]''
:'''Skipper''': Oh, Daryl, Daryl, Daryl. You can't blame us for what happened to you.
:''[Dave grabs a canister of green goop]''
:'''Dave''': Uh, can! That's how this whole revenge thing works. And with this, I've finally have the power to '''destroy you'''!
:'''Private''': Crikey!
:''[A group of octopuses surrounds the penguins]''
:'''Dave''': [[w:Nicolas Cage|Nicolas, cage]] them.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': So you squiggies wanna do the gondola mambo? Then let's dance.
:''[One of the henchmen squirts ink in Skipper's eyes, blinding him]''
:'''Skipper''': Ah! Mother of pearl, that stings! I lost visuals! Kowalski, be my eyes!
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': ''[the penguins are cornered in an alley by Dave's henchmen]'' Alright, boys, battle stance.
:'''Kowalski''': ''[exhausted]''  We're in battle stance, sir. ''[Rico takes the sock off Skipper's head]''
:'''Skipper''': Oh, good. Now, we spring our trap.
:''[One of Dave's henchmen grabs the mandolin of the gondolier and smashes it, who runs away]''
:'''Kowalski''': I'm not sure ''they're'' the ones that are trapped, sir.
:'''Skipper''': Kowalski, remember our little talk about true but unhelpful comments?
:'''Kowalski''': Yes, sir.
:'''Skipper''': Sometimes we just have to wing it.
:''[An owl swoops down, grabs one of the octopi and throws him in a window. Kowalski stares amazed]''
:'''Kowalski''': Wow...
:''[A seal pops out of a light bulb, throws a flash grenade at the other octopus, which explodes, pushes him backwards to the wall. The telephone booth changes shape, revealing a polar bear pulling out a taser, shocking the last octopus, who goes through the sewer grate]''
:'''Kowalski''': Sorry for underestimating the plan, Skipper.
:'''Skipper''': It's okay, Kowalski. Just don't ever doubt me again. Now what the heck is going on?!
:''[A plane flies over the rooftops and a wolf drops down and lands in front of them]''
:'''Wolf''': Remain calm, penguins. You are now under the protection of the North Wind. ''[shows a badge]'' You're welcome.

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[The penguins have been rescued by the North Wind, they are on the plane and flies off]''
:'''Polar Bear''': Oh my gosh. You guys are so cute!
:''[The polar bear grabs the penguins and hugs them tightly]''
:'''Polar Bear''': And cuddly!
:'''Skipper''': Hey, get away!
:''[Skipper slaps the polar bear's lower jaw]''
:'''Skipper''': No more hugs!
:'''Polar Bear''': It's like being licked by a basketful of doggy dogs.
:'''Wolf''': ''[sighs]'' Corporal, ''Corporal''! Chart a course back to North Wind Headquarters.
:''[The polar bear, Corporal, puts the penguins down, then makes a heart sign with his paws before typing a computer]''
:'''Wolf''': Eva, inform them we’re bringing in witnesses.
:'''Skipper''': Private, dibble me.
:''[Private takes a dibble bag out of Rico's body, gives it to Skipper, then he jumps in front of the wolf]''
:'''Skipper''': We're not going anywhere with you. ''[munches]'' We don't even know who the heck you are.
:'''Wolf''': The North Wind is an elite undercover inter-species—
:''[Skipper munches each time, interrupting the wolf]''
:'''Wolf''': The North Wind is an elite undercover inter-spec— ...an elite undercover inter-species— ...task– ...force. Dedicated to help– ...helping– Dedicated to– Ded– Dedicated to helping animals who can't help themselves!
:''[Skipper munches again for the last time]''
:'''Wolf''': Like penguins.
:'''Skipper''': Really, and you are...?
:'''Wolf''': My name is classified.
:'''Skipper''': Classified, eh? What is that, uh, Dutch? Can't really hear the accent.
:'''&quot;Classified&quot;''': Excuse me?
:'''Skipper''': ''There's'' the accent.
:'''Agent &quot;Classified&quot;''': No, my ''(actual)'' name isn't &quot;Classified&quot;, my name is classified ''(meaning I'm not telling you my real name)'' because I am the leader of this strike team. The seal is Short Fuse, weapons and explosives. The bear is Corporal, he’s our muscle. And the owl is Eva, intelligence and analysis.
:'''Skipper''': Well, Agent Classified, we happen to be an elite unit too.
:''[Skipper accidentally steps on a button which starts an alarm]''
:'''Voice''': Self-destruct sequence activated.
:'''Skipper''': You know, you should really label these things. 
:'''Voice''': 3… 2… 1…
:''[Classified pushes the button again, turning the self-destruct off]''
:'''Skipper''': The name's Skipper. I run this outfit. That there is Kowalski, he's the brains of our operation. Say something smart, Kowalski.
:'''Kowalski''': ''[staring awestruck at Eva]'' Uhhh...
:''[Eva looks back at Kowalski]''
:'''Skipper''': See? He's working on a ''whole'' 'nother level.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Classified''': All right, tiny penguins. The best way for the North Wind to protect helpless animals like yourselves, is to bring Dr. Brine to justice. Now you were in his sub, so I need to know everything you know.
:''[The penguins are relaxing and enjoying the chairs and they raised them up high, giving a cheer]''
:'''Classified''': ''[almost losing his patience]'' Just tell me everything you know.
:'''Skipper''': Alright.
:''[Skipper lowers his chair, same with the other penguins]''
:'''Skipper''': Numero uno - never trust a Dutchman in a tulip fight.
:'''Classified''': ''[takes notes]'' Tulip fight.
:'''Skipper''': Canada is secretly training an army of Sasquatch.
:'''Classified''': Sasquatch.
:'''Skipper''': Hot dogs are in fact only 17% actual dog.
:'''Classified''': 17%… Not ''everything'' everything!
:''[Classified shows Skipper a board of evidence of Dave, as Dr. Brine, with a picture of a sheep next to it]''
:'''Classified''': Just everything regarding your abduction by Dr. Octavius Brine.
:'''Skipper''': Ah. Why didn't you say so?
:'''Classified''': ''[confused]'' What?
:'''Skipper''': My team has uncovered that Dr. Octavius Brine is actually an individual known as Derek.
:'''Kowalski''': &quot;Dave&quot;.
:'''Skipper''': As Dave, the octopus.
:'''Short Fuse''': An octopus? ''[laughs]'' No, no, Dr. Brine is not an octopus. He's...
:''[Classified stands in front of the picture of the sheep]''
:'''Classified''': An octopus! ''[clears throat]'' Precisely! That's exactly what our intel indicated.
:''[Classified puts the picture in a trash bin and whispers into his wrist watch]''
:'''Classified''': &lt;small&gt;Release the sheep.&lt;/small&gt;
:''[At a barn, a sheep gets kicked out and eats grass. Back at North Wind headquarters]''
:'''Classified''': What ''you'', of course could not know, is that Dr. Brine's laboratory in Venice is secretly developing a doomsday weapon called the &quot;Medusa Serum&quot;.
:'''Skipper''': Ah, but what ''you'' don't know is that Dirk...
:'''Kowalski''': &quot;Dave&quot;.
:'''Skipper''': ...Dave won't be using his Bazooka Serum...
:'''Kowalski''': &quot;Medusa Serum&quot;.
:'''Skipper''': ...Medusa Serum on anybody.
:'''Kowalski''': That part is accurate.
:'''Skipper''': Show him, Rico.
:''[Rico spits out the vial containing the Medusa Serum]''
:'''Classified''': You stole the Medusa Serum?
:'''Skipper''': Well, stole the Serum, saved the day, did your job for you. Call it what you will.
:''[Suddenly, the screen goes on, revealing Dave]''
:'''Skipper''': Debbie!
:'''Kowalski''': &quot;Dave&quot;.
:'''Skipper''': Dave!
:'''Corporal''': He hacked into our system.
:''[There's no sound on-screen of what Dave is saying]''
:'''Eva''': Where's the sound? I can't hear anything.
:'''Kowalski''': Dave. Your microphone, it's not on.
:'''Classified''': Click on the button with the picture of the microphone.
:'''Short Fuse''': Every time a villain calls in, this happens.
:'''Dave''': Hello?
:''[The screen goes off]''
:'''Dave''': Hello?
:'''Kowalski''': Look, now we can hear you, but we can't see you.
:'''Short Fuse''': So annoying! Every time!
:'''Classified''': It's like talking to my parents.
:''[The screen comes back on]''
:'''Dave''': How about now? ''(Is that better?)''
:''[Everyone is in agreement]''
:'''Private''': Hooray!
:'''Classified''': Yes! That's fantastic.
:'''Corporal''': Great!
:'''Dave''': Excellent! Now, where was I? ''(Oh, yeah.)''
:''[With his tentacle in a fist, Dave does an evil laugh]''
:'''Kowalski''': Dave!
:''[Everyone glares at Dave]''
:'''Dave''': Greetings, North Wind! I see you've met my old zoo-mates.
:'''Skipper''': We were never mates. There was no mating.
:'''Classified''': Turn yourself in, David. You're powerless now that I've stolen your precious Medusa Serum.
:'''Skipper''': What, you? You didn't steal that!
:'''Classified''': It's over.
:'''Dave''': It's over? Then why did I call you? Weird. Oh, maybe it was to show you this!
:''[Dave turns the camera to show them a giant vial containing the Serum. Everyone gasps with shock]''
:'''Kowalski''': That is a lot of serum for 4 penguins.
:'''Dave''': Oh, you thought this was just about you 4? No. No, no, no, no. We're just getting started.
:''[Dave takes a selfie with a camera]''
:'''Dave''': Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go do some shopping. For revenge!
:''[Dave presses the button to turn off the screen but nothing happens, he presses it again but nothing still happens]''
:'''Dave''': ''(For re–)'' Wait. How do you...?
:''[Dave turns to his octopus thugs for help]''
:'''Dave''': What do I push? Is it the red or...? I thought it was... It's not this–
:''[One octopus presses something and the screen goes blank. A picture of Dave's selfie comes out of the printer]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[The penguins are in a box on a plane to Madagascar]''
:'''Skipper''': Ugh, where the heck are we?
:'''Kowalski''': Oxygen content is low. I suggest we limit our breathing.
:''[Then the sound of a fart broke the silence]''
:'''Skipper''': Aw, Private!
:''[The penguins rip holes on the box to breathe for air]''
:'''Private''': Sorry. I get gassy when I fly.
:'''Skipper''': Toot sweet! He does!
:'''Kowalski''': We must be on a plane!
:''[The penguins move the box to be free. They have darts on their necks and a dart on Private's butt]''
:'''Kowalski''': What did the North Wind do to us?
:'''Private''': Look! They gave us badges!
:''[The Penguins take off the darts]''
:'''Skipper''': Not badges, tranquilizer darts! Classified! That low-down dirty dog is trying to kick us off the mission!
:'''Kowalski''': He thinks we can't save the penguins because we're just &quot;''penguins''&quot;.
:'''Skipper''': Well, penguins are our flesh and feather! They're us, and if anyone's gonna save us, it's us.
:'''Kowalski''': But, Skipper, we've gotta be 5 miles up. That pretty much limits our options.
:'''Skipper''': I ''make'' my own options.
:''[Skipper hits a button, and a hatch opens and boxes come flying out with the penguins]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': Follow me, boys! We're going in hot!
:''[Private flames up like a meteor]''
:'''Private''': Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot…!
:'''Skipper''': No one likes a show off, Private.
:'''Kowalski''': Aim for first class!
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[Dave, as Dr. Brine, holds up a red card to the penguins who played soccer ball at a zoo in Brazil]''
:'''Dave''': [[Elijah Wood|Elijah, would]] you please take them away?
:''[As an octopus grabs the penguins, Dave laughs as he and the octopus fly away in the helicopter. The North Wind's jet arrives]''
:'''Eva''': Penguin footprints, still warm. We just missed Dave.
:'''Classified''': Blast it! ''(We're already too late.)'' He's gone.
:'''Corporal''': So many penguins!
:''[Corporal starts panicking and stress-eating]''
:'''Short Fuse''': Boss, he's stress-eating again!
:'''Classified''': Corporal?
:'''Eva''': ''[to Corporal]'' There, there.
:'''Short Fuse''': ''[rubbing Corporal]'' Rub the angry out of the tummy.
:'''Classified''': Coporal? Fo... Focus. We are going to save those helpless penguins because we are the North Wind! And no one, ''no one'', breaks the wind!
:'''Corporal''': ''[salutes]'' No one breaks the wind!
:'''Classified''': There's a good Corporal. ''[to Eva]'' How come there's beeping?
:'''Eva''': ''[looking at the beeping screen]'' Sir, those penguins... They never made it to Madagascar.
:'''Classified''': ''[shocked]'' What? Well, where the dickens are they?
:''[The penguins pop out of the sewer. Rico spits out some sand]''
:'''Skipper''': Kowalski, what are our coordinates?
:'''Kowalski''': According to my calculations, we're arrived in the center of [[w:Dublin|Dublin]], [[w:Ireland|Ireland]].
:''[The camera zooms out to reveal that the penguins actually arrived in [[w:Shanghai|Shanghai]], [[w:China|China]]]''
:'''Skipper''': Alright, soldiers, we gotta blend in. River dance.
:''[They start river dancing]''
:'''Skipper''': No time to kiss the Blarney stone, boys. We need to find intel on Dave's location.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': Alright, you! Where's Dave? ''[repeatedly slaps a baby squid]'' Give us the goods.
:'''Kowalski''': Sir, that's a baby squid.
:''[The baby squid starts crying, then Skipper puts it down]''
:'''Skipper''': Sorry, laddie. Stranded on the Emerald Isle without a single clue.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': Dave's snow globe collection.
:'''Kowalski''': It's every zoo and aquarium he got kicked out of!
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': You're up, Private. ''[Private comes out behind a &quot;Wet Floor&quot; sign, dressed as a mermaid]'' You just mermaid my day.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Short Fuse''': ''[The Penguins and the North Wind are arguing as to who should turned in Dr. Octavius Brine after having dropped a whale skeleton on him]'' We flattened him.
:''[They push Dr. Octavius Brine aside only to reveal an Open Sewer hatch leading to the pipes of the tanks, knowing that Dave is loose]''
:'''Kowalski''': Drat, Dave is his.
:''[Having made it to the tank of Mermaid Penguins which Private had been placed into, Dave drains the tank sending all the Penguins in it including Private into his tentacles]''
:'''Skipper''': Private! No!
:'''Private''': ''[As he gets pulled into the drain with the other penguins in the tank]'' Skipper, help!
:''[The Penguins and North Wind sulk in despair, as not only has Private been captured, but now Dave has captured all the Penguins from every zoo around the world]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Kowalski''': Sir, Dave’s pulling ahead. We are too heavy.
:'''Skipper''': ''[groans]'' Curse our heavily Cheese dibbled diet!
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[when Rico is throwing away every loose item out of the North Wind’s plane]''
:'''Kowalski''': That's everything, sir.
:'''Skipper''': Have you purged the chemical toilet?
:'''Kowalski''': But Rico was in there for 15 minutes!
:'''Skipper''': JUST DO IT!
:''[Classified says &quot;NO!&quot; repeatedly in horror as some disgusting blue liquid falls on his face]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': ''[after finding out that Classified put homing devices on them]'' You low down, filthy, mangy, bum-sniffing, TOILET DRINKER! ''[slight pause]'' But... good.
:'''Classified''': You see? I told you. You should've left this to the professionals.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Dave''': [inside his lair after he's captured the last of the penguins from zoos around the world] Ahoy there, penguins! I bet you're dying to know why I brought you all here!
:'''Random Penguin''': He's gonna kill us all!
:'''Dave''': What? No. My Medusa Serum doesn't kill anyone. Where's the fun in that? 
:'''Private''': So, what does it do?
:'''Dave''': Something much, much worse.
:'''Private''': Right! But like what especially?
:'''Dave''': ''[to himself]'' Well, that's exactly what I came up here to show you. All I need is a test subject.''[pulls out a random cricket]'' Hello little buggy-boo!  
:'''Cricket''': Is this about the chirping? Cause I could... Whoa! Whoa! ''[Dave throws the group and hands it over to one of his henchman]''  
:'''Dave''': Behold!  as I unleash the full power of the Medusa Serum! ''[to his other henchman]'' Fire! ''[fires the ray containing the Medusa Serum at the cricket, mutating it into a larger state that even replaces his once cute looking face into one monstrous. All the penguins gasp]'' Yes! It works! I made a monster! I made a monster! And all you adorable penguins are next!
:'''Private''': Crikey!
:'''Dave''': Who said that? No. No. No. ''[rushes over to the cage he caught Private in]'' Yes! Gentleman, you remember Private.
:'''Private''': You'll never get away with this Dave! My brothers are coming, and they're gonna get you, and together we'll take a wrecking ball to your whole rotten operation.
:'''Dave''': Call off the hunt everyone. Turns out the elite unit will be coming to us. Boop.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Classified''': ''[to Short Fuse]'' Short Fuse, you were supposed to handcuff them to the raft!
:'''Skipper''': Don't you hologram me! ''[turns off the hologram]''
:'''Short Fuse''': I tried, but they don't have hands. They just have flippers, boss, and-and I have flippers, so it's ''flipping'' useless!
:'''Skipper''': All right, pooch. If you won't work with us, you better work ''for'' us. Our plan requires a diversion.
:'''Classified''': I give the orders around here and as much as it pains me to say this, I need you to act as the die-version for ''our'' operation, understood?
:'''Skipper''': No. This is ''our'' plan and it requires ''you'' to cause a deh-version!
:'''Classified''': Die-version.
:'''Skipper''': Deh-version.
:'''Classified''': Die!
:'''Skipper''': Deh!
:''[Skipper and Classified continue arguing pronouncing diversion; Eva lands in front of them]''
:'''Eva''': Gentlemen, there's only one way to resolve this.
:'''Kowalski''': We should kiss.
:'''Eva''': Plan-off.
:'''Kowalski''': Yep. Plan-off. That's what I was gonna say. Plan-off...
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[The penguins are dressed as German folk musicians]''
:'''Skipper''': We take this shame to our graves.
:'''Kowalski''': Agreed.
:''[They start slap dancing]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[The North Wind have entered Dave’s sub ready to capture him while the Penguins distract his henchmen]''
:'''Classified''': Alright, Dave, put up your tentacles. ''[Dave turns around in his chair to face them and raises 7 tentacles]'' All of them.''
:''[Dave lifts his last tentacle to drink from a juice box. Several octopuses jump onto the North Wind and capture them]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[as Dave prepares to use his ray on Private]''
:'''Dave''': Who's ready to move into live penguin testing?
:'''Skipper''': You point that death ray away from Private right now!
:'''Private''': It's not a death ray, Skipper! He's gonna turn us into monsters!
:'''Dave''': Yepper-doo! &quot;And what comes next, Dave?&quot; ''Invasion''! Ahhh! Horrible mutant penguins released on the streets of New York City!
:'''Kowalski''': ''You're'' the monster!
:'''Dave''': ''[angrily]'' Yes! I'm the monster. Everyone made that clear to me every day of my entire life. But now, let's see how much everyone loves ''you'' when ''you’re'' the monster!
:'''Private''': Skipper!
:'''Skipper''': You can't take away Private's cuteness!
:'''Kowalski''': He's the cute one! ''[Rico grunts in agreement]'' That's-that's his thing!
:'''Private''': What?
:'''Skipper''': It's all the little guy's got! ''[Private rolls his eyes]''
:'''Dave''': Hmm, you are super cute. We'd better crank this up. [[Drew Barrymore|Drew, Barry, more]] power. Ready. 
:'''Kowalski''': Negotiation have broken down. 
:'''Skipper''': Rico, the paper clip! But us out of here! We need that paperclip.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[after everyone thought Private was killed]''
:'''Skipper:''' Private.
:'''Kowalski:''' Oh, no.
:'''Dave''': I disintegrated him. That wasn't supposed to happen.
:'''Kowalski''': [[Planet of the Apes|You maniac! You blew him up!]] ''[Rico whimpers]''
:'''Skipper''': No...
:'''Dave''': Oh well. This is why we test things, people. I'll have to lower the power for the others. Full speed ahead, gentlemen. The monsters are due in Manhattan.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[Private has saved the North Wind from Dave’s henchmen sending them to their doom]''
:'''Classified''': '''Oh no, we’re ''dead!'' DEAD!''' '''''DEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!'''''
:'''Private''': I pushed a button!
:'''Corporal''': Supper. Well, done, Private! 
:'''Eva''': Good work, malinka.
:'''Classified''': Yes. Yes. Excellent button-pushing. Good job.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Private''': Skipper, Skipper! Skipper, Rico, Kowalski! I'm up here, Up here!
:'''Skipper''': It's like I can still hear his little voice, calling to us.
:'''Private''': You have to get out of there! Move!
:'''Skipper''': &quot;You have a great [[w:Otter|otter]] there. Moo.&quot;
:'''Kowalski''': Why would he [[w:Cow|moo]]?
:'''Skipper''': What are asking ''me'' for? I'm not Private's little ghost.
:''[They turn around, only to notice the Medusa Ray in front of them, ready to fire.]
:'''Rico''': Uh-oh!
:''[One of Dave's henchmen fires the Medusa Ray at Skipper, Kowalski, Rico, and all the penguins, as Private watches in horror]''
:'''Private''': ''Noooooo!''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''New York Reporter''': ''[in the harbors of New York City along with a crowd]'' Breaking news, the penguins have been found! OK, according to my notes, genetic researcher, Dr. Octavius Brine, has found the penguins and is bringing them here to New York's Battery Park. The penguins are coming back! Oh my gosh, look!
:'''Dave''': ''[rising from his sub out of the water]'' Penguin lovers of the world! Guess who I found. It wasn't easy, but seeing these penguins get what they derserve will make it worthwhile.
:'''New York Reporter''': What a weird thing to say. I'm so excited!
:'''Dave''': Yay! Your newly improved penguins!
:''[The doors to the sub open letting out green smoke, showing the captured penguins including Skipper, Kowalski and Rico having successfully been mutated by the Medusa Serum, now not so cute looking with scary appearances. The humans gasp in horror]''
:'''Dave''': Oh, the people love you. Just go give them a hug.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Private''': Come on, then. You wanna go? You want some argy-bargy?
:''[He charges at the octopuses while emitting a battle cry]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[The penguins are performing an [[w:Avengers (comics)|Avengers]]-style pose]''
:'''Kowalski''': Sir, how long do we stand here like this?
:'''Skipper''': Until we've reached maximum coolness. ''[smiles confidently after two seconds]'' There it is. Now all we need is a plan.
:'''Private''': I’ve got one.
:'''Skipper''': ''[confused]'' Eh? Uh, huh?
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': You stole Dave's ray?
:'''Private''': Yes, well I figured if we could reverse the ray, we can turn everyone back to normal!
:'''Skipper''': Reverse the ray?
:'''Kowalski''': That’s brilliant, but... it's impossible! In order to reverse the ray, we would need to replace the Medusa Serum with a power source of almost immeasurable cuteness!
:'''Skipper''': Immeasurable cuteness? Where the heck are we supposed to get that? Wait, Private, no. We don’t know what I’ll do to you. 
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[After the ray Private stole accidentally turned a random penguin back to normal]''
:'''Kowalski''': The ray! It works! It WORKS!
:'''Skipper''': Private, are you okay?
:'''Private''': Yes!
:''[Skipper, Rico and Kowalski gasp in surprise and notice that Private has sprouted a hand out of his buttocks]''
:'''Kowalski''': Whoa-oh! Butt-hand! There’s a hand attached to his butt. That was not... that was not there before.
:'''Skipper''': Get out of there. That’s an order!
:'''Private''': ''[salutes]'' Permission to defy order.
:'''Skipper''': Permission denied!
:'''Private''': Then I deny your denial.
:'''Skipper''': It’s too risky, Private. It already made you sprout a butt-hand!
:'''Private''': I know it has to be me this time. ''[places his butt-hand on the glass]'' And I think you know it, too. ''[Concerned about Private’s sacrifice, Skipper places his flipper on the same place where Private placed his butt-hand. They exchange smiles before Private reattaches himself to the ray using his butt-hand.] I'm'' the secret weapon!
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[Dave holds a microphone during his revenge spree]''
:'''Dave''': I'M HAPPYYYYY… and yet…
:''[Dave realizes that his revenge has been succeeded]''
:'''Dave''': Now...that I finally have my revenge, I feel...empty. As if, what I needed all along was... MORE REVENGE! In fact, [[w:Robin Wright|Robin, write]] this down.
:''[One of his minions writes]''
:'''Dave''': Tomorrow, we move on: [[w:Cat|Kittens]], then [[w:Dog|Puppies]], [[w:Rabbit|Bunnies]], [[w:Panda|Pandas]]...
:''[Dave gasps as he sees the penguins using his ray]''
:'''Dave''': [[w:Charlize Theron|Charlize, they're on]] the ray!
:''[Dave runs off, ripping off his human disguise back to his octopus appearance]''
:'''Dave''': [[w:Helen Hunt|Helen, hunt]] 'em down! [[w:William Hurt|William, hurt]] 'em! [[w:Halle Berry|Halle, bury]] 'em! [[w:Hugh Jackman|Hugh, Jack, man]] the battle stations! [[w:Kevin Bacon|Kevin, bake on]]! We're still gonna need that victory cake!
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': Dead batteries?!	
:'''Kowalski''': ''[gasps]'' Game over, Skipper!
:'''Private''': No! ''[notices a nearby grocery store]'' Rico, batteries! Skipper, Kowalski, hold off those octopi! We’re doing this '''''NOW!'''''
:'''Skipper''': You heard Private! Deploy!
:''[They runs and ready to face the army of octopis]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': Rico, dibble me!
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Private''': ''[after the sides effects from the ray, he's tinted pink and grown antlers]'' So, how do I look?
:'''Kowalski''': You’re hideously disfigured and will probably be hunted for sport.
:'''Private''': ''[concerned]'' Wh-Wha...?
:''[Skipper elbows Kowalski]''
:'''Kowalski''': What?
:'''Skipper''': If there's anything we've learned from this delightful adventure, ''Kowalski'', it's that looks don’t matter. It’s what you do that counts. And look at what you did.
:''[The penguins from different countries look at the penguins, baby penguins pop out from behind parent penguins]''
:'''Dave''': Yes, sir. You are the most meaningful and valued member of this team.
:''[Dave salutes Private, Private salutes back. Kowalski and Rico salute as well. Skipper does Private's salute by crossing his eyes and sticking out his tongue. Private did the same and laughs. All the penguins and the North Wind cheer for Private. The victory celebration was cut when everyone heard a thump. Classified turns around and looks at the city. Corporal and Short Fuse gasp. Eva looks up. The cricket gasps. The penguin couple trembled. They see a tentacle appear and Dave appears with his face in a cute way.]''
:'''Skipper''': Ramirez!
:'''Kowalski''': &quot;Dave&quot;.
:'''Skipper''': Dave!
:''[Dave laughs evilly and lures over to them, until he bumps into something invisible. The camera zooms out to reveal that Dave is made cute by the ray, shrunk, and trapped in a snow globe.]''
:'''Dave''': '''WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!'''
:''[The snow globe holding Dave falls out from the tape and Skipper catches him]''
:'''Skipper''': Dave. Ohhoho, look at you.
:'''Dave''': You think this is over? I'm just getting started!
:'''Kowalski''': What do we do with him now?
:''[Rico attempts to swallow the snow globe trapping Dave, but Skipper pulls it away. They see a girl looking at it]''
:'''Girl''': Awww...
:'''Dave''': ''[last words]'' Open this right now!
:'''Skipper''': Here you go, kid.
:''[Skipper tosses the snow globe to the girl]''
:'''Girl''': ''[gasps]'' Cool.
:''[The girl puts her finger on the snow globe. Touched, Dave puts his tentacle on the snow globe where the girl's finger is]''
:'''Skipper''': I hope you find happiness, Dave.
:'''Girl''': ''[shakes the snow globe hard]'' It's snowing, it's snowing, it's snowing, it's snowing!
:''[The girl runs off shaking the snow globe with Dave moaning, much to the surprise of the penguins and the North Wind. After Dave's defeat]''
:'''Classified''': ''[clear his throat]'' Right now, this is difficult for me to say, but...
:'''Skipper''': Is it &quot;osteoporosis&quot;? You just gotta lean into the vowels. Ahhh-stee-ohhhh-pahhh...
:'''Classified''': No, no, I want to say... You 4 are the bravest agents I’ve ever known. The point is... I was ''wrong'' about you, and I hope there’s some way I can make it right.
:'''Kowalski''': ''[to Classified]'' Give us jetpacks.
:'''Eva''': ''[at the same time; to Kowalski]'' We could kiss.
:'''Kowalski''': ''[notices Eva]'' Whoa! Uh... ''[clears his throat]'' Did you just say...?
:''[Eva dips Kowalski, kissing him, while using her other wing to block the camera, much to the disgust of his comrades. As soon as Eva lowers her wings, Kowalski has lipstick marks all over his face]''
:'''Kowalski''': Well, that feels right!
:'''Private''': I think I'd actually prefer a jetpack, please.
:'''Skipper''': I think we should go with Private's idea.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[After the Penguins turned Private back to normal with the help of King Julien and Mort]''
:'''King Julien''': You know, if I'm being honest, I expected a little more... pizzazz! ''[as a side effect from using the ray, Mort ends up eating King Julien]'' Yes! Now, that's pizzazz!
:''[Mort giggles]''

== Taglines ==
* The movie event that will blow their cover
* All bark, no flight (Skipper and Classified tagline)
* Hot wings (Kowalski and Eva tagline)
* Loose cannons (Rico and Short Fuse tagline)
* Dangerously cute (Private and Corporal tagline)

==Cast==
* [[w:Tom McGrath (animator)|Tom McGrath]] — Skipper
* [[w:Chris Miller (animator)|Chris Miller]] — Kowalski
* [[w:Christopher Knights|Chris Knights]] — Private
* [[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]] — Rico
* [[w:John Malkovich|John Malkovich]] — Dave
* [[w:Benedict Cumberbatch|Benedict Cumberbatch]] — Agent Classified
* [[w:Ken Jeong|Ken Jeong]] — Short Fuse
* [[w:Annet Mahendru|Annet Mahendru]] — Eva
* [[w:Peter Stormare|Peter Stormare]] — Corporal
* [[w:Andy Richter|Andy Richter]] — Mort
* [[w:Danny Jacobs (actor)|Danny Jacobs]] — King Julien XIII
* [[Dee Bradley Baker]]&lt;br&gt;[[Frank Welker]]&lt;br&gt;[[w:Chris Sanders|Chris Sanders]] — Octopi

==See also==
* [[The Penguins of Madagascar|The Penguins of Madagascar (TV series)]]
* [[Madagascar (2005 film)|Madagascar]]
* [[Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa|Escape 2 Africa]]
* [[Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted|Europe's Most Wanted]]

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:2014 films]]
[[Category:2010s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated action films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:Spy films]]
[[Category:Film spin-offs]]
[[Category:Madagascar]] [[sco:Penguins of Madagascar (2014 film)]]               [[dv:Penguins of Madagascar (2014 film)]]               [[sq:Penguins of Madagascar (film i vitit 2014)]]      [[azb:Penguins of Madagascar (2014 film)]]
[[Category:Animated films about penguins]]
[[Category:Animated films about wolves]]
[[Category:Films about polar bears]]
[[Category:Films about owls]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:Films set in Venice]]
[[Category:Films set in Shanghai]]
[[Category:Simon J. Smith films]]
[[Category:Films directed by Eric Darnell]]</text>
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[[File:Penguins of Madagascar logo.svg|thumb|Who says penguins can't fly?]]
'''''[[w:Penguins of Madagascar|Penguins of Madagascar]]''''' is a 2014 American [[w:3D film|3D]] [[w:computer animation|computer-animated]] [[w:action comedy film|action comedy film]], produced by [[w:DreamWorks Animation|DreamWorks Animation]] and distributed by [[w:20th Century Fox|20th Century Fox]]. It is a spin-off of the ''[[w:Madagascar (franchise)|Madagascar]]'' film series, and takes place right after the events of ''[[Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted]]'', following the penguins Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private in their own [[w:spy thriller|spy thriller]]. Apart from the main characters, it is unrelated to ''[[The Penguins of Madagascar]]'' (which is set in its own continuity). It is the only film in the Madagascar franchise that was distributed by [[w:20th Century Fox|20th Century Fox]] and was the final film produced by [[w:Pacific Data Images|Pacific Data Images]] before its closure on January 22, 2015.

The film is directed by [[w:Simon J. Smith|Simon J. Smith]] and [[w:Eric Darnell|Eric Darnell]], and written by [[w:Michael Colton|Michael Colton]] and [[w:John Aboud|John Aboud]]. The film was released on November 26, 2014.

==Dialogue==
:'''[[Werner Herzog|Documentary filmmaker]]''': ''[first lines; narrating]'' [[w:Antarctica|Antarctica]], an inhospitable wasteland, but even here, on the Earth's frozen bottom, we find life.
:''[The wind blows away the snow, revealing an egg and it rolls down the hill]''
:'''Documentary filmmaker''': And not just any life… penguins. Joyous, frolicking, waddling, cute and cuddly life. Look at them, tumbling onto their chubby bum bums. Who could take these frisky snow-clowns...?
:''[The older penguins almost fall on baby Skipper, Rico, and Kowalski, who move out of the way]''
:'''Skipper''': ''[interrupting the narration]'' Seriously? Does anyone even know where we're marching to?
:'''Penguin #1''': Who cares?
:'''Penguin #2''': I question nothing.
:'''Penguin #3''': Me, too.
:'''Penguin #4''': Me, too.
:'''Skipper''': Well, fine. We'll just fly to the front of the line and see for ourselves. Kowalski, Rico, engage aerial surveillance.
:''[They flap their wings but cannot fly]''
:'''Kowalski''': Skipper, we appear to be flightless.
:'''Skipper''': ''[looks at his wings]'' Oh, well, what's the point of these?
:''[Rico seems to have an idea. He hits Skipper's wing in some sort of high 5]''
:'''Skipper''': Whoa, I like it! Hey, this could be our thing! What're we gonna call it? Let's call it the, uh... high 1.
:''[The egg rolled passed Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico]''
:'''Skipper''': Hey, anybody see that? That's an egg! Is somebody gonna go get it?
:'''Penguin #5''': We can't do that.
:'''Skipper''': Why not?
:'''Penguin #6''': Well, it's a dangerous world out there and we're just penguins. You know, nothing but cute and cuddly.
:'''Penguin #7''': Yeah. Why do you think there are always documentary crews filming us? 
:''[The view zooms out to see two men each with a camera and a microphone for filming]''
:'''Penguin #8''': Well, sorry, kid. You know, we lose a few eggs every year. It's just nature.
:'''Skipper''': Oh, right, nature. I guess that makes sense, but something... something deep down in my gut tells me that it just doesn't make any sense at all. You know what? I ''reject'' nature!
:''[The other penguins gasp]''
:'''Skipper''': Who's with me?
:''[With a shout, Skipper goes after the egg, much to Kowalski's and Rico's confusion]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[The penguins have just blown up an old ship]''
:'''Skipper''': Kowalski, analysis?
:'''Kowalski''': We are really... awesome at this!
:'''Skipper''': Boys, we did it! Mission accomplished! Hey, we can do our thing! High 1!
:''[They all high 1, until Skipper accidentally hits the egg they just saved]''
:'''Skipper''': Ooh. My bad.
:'''Rico''': Uh-oh!
:''[The penguins all look in awe as the egg is about to hatch]''
:'''Skipper''': Look, it's... it's the miracle of birth.
:'''Kowalski''': A moment... of extraordinary beauty.
:''[Suddenly, the egg explodes open, much to the disgust of the trio]''
:'''Skipper''': Daaagh!! That is disgusting! I think I have amniotic sac in my mouth!
:''[Much to the trio's surprise, the newly hatched Private gets up and chuckles. Skipper, Kowalski and Rico look at him lovingly]''
:'''Private''': Hello! Are you my family?
:''[The trio turns, knowing that they're far away from land, and nod to each other before turning back to face Private]''
:'''Kowalski''': You don't have a family, and we're all going to die. Sorry.
:'''Private''': ''[concerned]'' Wh-wha...?
:''[Skipper elbows Kowalski]''
:'''Kowalski''': What? I-I thought that was what we were all nodding about.
:'''Skipper''': ''[hits Kowalski again]'' No one's gonna die! ''[to Private]'' You know what you've got, kid? You've got us. We've got each other, and if that ain't a family, I don't know what is.
:''[Skipper salutes Private, who does the same thing. He tussles his head]''
:'''Skipper''': So adorable. Kowalski, what's our trajectory?
:'''Kowalski''': 95% certain we're still doomed.
:'''Skipper''': And the, uh... other 5%?
:'''Kowalski''': Adventuring and glory like no penguins have ever seen before.
:'''Skipper''': I'll take that action.
:'''Private''': Where are we going?
:'''Skipper''': The future, boys. The glorious future.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': 10 years ago, on this very day, a tiny egg hatched, and our world got a little cuter. So tonight, Private, we celebrate your birthday by infiltrating the United States Gold Depository in Fort Knox!
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[At the gold depository of Fort Knox]''
:'''Skipper''': Private, if you could have anything you wanted in the ''whole'' wide world, what would it be?
:'''Private''': Well, gee, Skipper. I think to be a meaningful and valued member of this team.
:'''Skipper''': Oh, well, we got you something else.
:''[The views pans to a vending machine in the break room]''
:'''Private''': A vending machine?
:'''Skipper''': Well, not just any vending machine, Private. The last remaining home in America's nanny states for those succulent and chemically-hazerdous bits of puffed heaven called...
:'''Private''': ''[gasps]'' Cheezy Dibbles!
:''[Skipper gives Private a coin]''
:'''Skipper''': Happy ding-dong birthday, ya little scamp!
:''[In response, Private pecks Skipper on the cheek, followed by Kowalski, finally giving one to Rico, only for the latter to hold Private for 10 seconds]''
:'''Skipper''': You mess with the bull, you get the horns, Private. Now hit that machine and get your present.
:''[Private tosses the coin into the machine and tries to reach in the slot to get the bag]''
:'''Skipper''': We just broke in the most secure facility in North America. Do you know what that means?
:'''Kowalski''': We're wanted criminals who will be on the lam for the rest of their lives, always feeling the hot breath of Johnny Law on our necks?
:'''Skipper''': No! It means, as elite units go, we're the elitist of the elite. Top shelf in the bureau. The penultimate... +1.
:''[As Private struggles to get the bag out from the vending machine, he ends up getting pulled into it by an octopus's tentacle]''
:'''Skipper''': Where'd Private go?
:''[The trio walk closer to the vending machine and spot Private, who is stuck up in it]''
:'''Kowalski''': Oh, there he is. D3.
:'''Skipper''': Oh, Private. How much is he?
:'''Kowalski''': He's $3.50, sir.
:'''Skipper''': Well, that's outrageous... even for Private.
:''[Suddenly, the tentacle comes out of the vending machine slot, grabs Rico and takes him into it, too!]''
:'''Kowalski''': Sir, the machine is alive!
:''[The tentacle comes out of the vending machine again and takes Kowalski]''
:'''Skipper''': ''[angrily]'' Well, I don't think I like your attitude, vending machine… or your prices! ''[in battle stance]'' Release them!
:''[The tentacle comes back out and grabs Skipper in]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[The penguins, having been captured by the vending machine, are flown to a submarine in Venice. Skipper looks around from the cage]''
:'''Skipper''': Kowalski, analysis.
:'''Kowalski''': All evidence indicates... ''[his stomach grumbles]'' Oooh, I ate too many Cheezy Dibbles.
:''[Private coughs out an orange cloud of dust]''
:'''Skipper''': We're behind enemy lines and incredibly thirsty. Rico, bust us out of these delicious prison.
:''[Rico sticks out his tongue holding a paper clip and uses it to unlock the cage door.]''
:'''Skipper''': Nice work, Rico. You're a meaningful and valued member of this team.
:''[As the penguins exit the cage, Private becomes upset. Then he looks at the paper clip, takes it and swallows it. He tries coughing it up, but no success]''
:'''Skipper''': Private, quit lollygagging… and regular gagging. 
:'''Private''': Sorry.
:'''Skipper''': It's dark and ominous. 2 of my least favorite traits in a room.
:'''Private''': Ooh, look, a button!
:'''Skipper''': Huh? Private, don't!
:''[Private pushes the button anyway and a platform underneath them descends and they drop down to another room]''
:'''Skipper''': Now what have I told you about–?
:''[Private presses another button]''
:'''Private''': Sorry, what?
:''[A giant device wheels over and a laser pops out, pointing at the penguins]''
:'''Kowalski''': It looks like some sort of giant laser sent to kill us all, sir.
:''[Skipper steps back from the laser's angle]''
:'''Private''': Ooh, another one!
:'''Skipper, Kowalski and Rico''': NO!
:''[They stop Private from pressing a third button. Suddenly, drops of water comes down on the panel and on the flippers. The penguins look up to see something]''
:'''Male voice''': ''♪ Naughty, naughty. ♪''
:''[A man with glasses walks in]''
:'''Scientist''': Pretty birds belong in their cages.
:''[The scientist is seen walking on the catwalk, but the camera shows that he is walking upside down. He drops down and his limbs are tangled up. The penguins groan in disgust. The scientist gets himself in that tangled position and screws his head right]''
:'''Penguins''': Ew!
:'''Scientist''': Now, that's just hurtful. And I was so happy to see you again.
:''[The scientist untangles himself]''
:'''Scientist''': Skipper,
:''[Skipper gasps]''
:'''Scientist''': Kowalski, Rico, and sweet little Private.
:''[The scientist taps on Private's beak]''
:'''Private''': Boop!
:'''Skipper''': Who are you?
:'''Scientist''': The humans know me as Dr. Octavius Brine - enowned geneticist, cheese enthusiast, and frequent donor to NPR pledge drives… but you know me by a different, much older name. A name perhaps you hope you'd never hear again. A phantom! A shadow of a former life! I... am...
:''[Dr. Brine transforms into a purple octopus, who emerges from the costume]''
:'''Octopus''': Dave!
:''[The penguins gave long surprised looks at Dave with the Dr. Brine wig still on his head]''
:'''Skipper''': Kowalski?
:'''Kowalski''': Sorry, sir. No clue.
:''[Dave removes the wig]''
:'''Dave''': ''(That's better.)'' Dave!
:'''Kowalski''': Dave.
:'''Dave''': Dave.
:'''Skipper''': Dave?
:'''Dave''': &quot;Dave&quot;.
:'''Private''': Dave.
:'''Dave''': Dave!
:'''Rico''': Bleh.
:''[Dave looks at the penguins a confused look. A cricket chirp is heard. The penguins look down to see a cricket doing the chirp, then stop]''
:'''Cricket''': Sorry.
:''[The cricket goes to leave, but he stops and turns]''
:'''Cricket''': Wait, wait! Uh, I live this way.
:''[The cricket walks off]''
:'''Skipper''': Go ahead, Dan. Continue.
:'''Dave''': ''(OK. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah. Wait a second.)'' You seriously don't remember me?
:''[Skipper's eyes shift from side to side]''
:'''Skipper''': ''(Uh, I mean…)'' Dave! Dave! Right! Oh yeah, long time. Uh, how's the wife? ''(Uh-oh.)''
:''[Dave punches the wall above Skipper's head]''
:'''Dave''': I've never been married! You may not remember me, but I could never forget ''you''.
:''[Dave grabs a snow globe and shakes it]''
:'''Dave''': Let's shake up some old memories. [[w:New York City|New York City]].
:''[The scene changes showing years ago at the Central Park Zoo, showing Dave's old tank, where he entertains people with his tricks]''
:'''Dave''': The Central Park Zoo. Life was good! Roomy tank, great location, monkey house views. And of course, my adoring legions of fans!
:'''Girl''': Cool!
:'''Dave''': ''[voiceover]'' Dave! The octopus of 1,000 tricks.
:''[His tentacle goes through his ear bringing a ball through]''
:'''Boy''': Awesome!
:'''Dave''': ''[voiceover]'' I was the total package.
:''[He takes a jar and squeezes himself in and squirts ink making him hover]''
:'''Man''': ''[offscreen]'' Hey, kids! Get up here! You need to see this! 
:'''Woman''': Come on, kids! Come on!
:''[Dave, who looks confused, comes out of the water and sees the baby penguins]''
:'''Dave''': ''[voiceover]'' And then you arrived.
:'''Man''': Oh, they're so adorable!
:'''Baby Skipper''': Just, uh... smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.
:'''Dave''': ''[voiceover]'' And took everything from me.
:'''Girl''': They're so adorable!
:'''Woman''': Have you ever seen anything cute?
:''[Dave has been taken from his tank and put in a box in a truck]''
:'''Dave''': ''[voiceover]'' 4 adorable baby penguins! With you around, no one wanted an old octopus anymore. &quot;Out you go, Dave!&quot;
:''[The scene changes to the San Diego Zoo, with Dave in his tank next to a penguin exhibit]'' 
:'''Dave''': And so it went, over and over again. At zoo…
:'''Girl''': Dad, look!
:'''Dave''': …after aquarium.
:'''Penguin Fan''': I can't see the penguins, man!
:''[A zookeeper rolls Dave away]'' 
:'''Dave''': ''[voiceover]'' Adorable penguins stole the show. 
:'''Penguin Fan''': Whoo! Yeah!
:'''[Dave is shipped to the Brazil Zoo, where people watch the penguins dance. Dave stares there, looking sad as an employee goes to the restroom and water is let out of his tank]'' 
:'''Dave''': While I was shunned. Forgotten. Unwanted.
:''[In the present]''
:'''Dave''': Alone.
:'''Private''': That sounds awful!
:'''Dave''': Oh, it was. I came to realize some creatures are born to get all the love. The rest of us get ''nothing''! The only thing that has kept me going all these years is my ''burning'' thirst for revenge!
:''[Skipper and Kowalski stare confusedly]''
:'''Dave''': And my precious souvenir snow globe collection.
:''[Rico swallows all the snow globes]''
:'''Dave''': Ah! What is ''wrong'' with you?!
:''[Rico grunts &quot;I don't know&quot;, then swallows the last one]''
:'''Skipper''': Oh, Daryl, Daryl, Daryl. You can't blame us for what happened to you.
:''[Dave grabs a canister of green goop]''
:'''Dave''': Uh, can! That's how this whole revenge thing works. And with this, I've finally have the power to '''destroy you'''!
:'''Private''': Crikey!
:''[A group of octopuses surrounds the penguins]''
:'''Dave''': [[w:Nicolas Cage|Nicolas, cage]] them.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': So you squiggies wanna do the gondola mambo? Then let's dance.
:''[One of the henchmen squirts ink in Skipper's eyes, blinding him]''
:'''Skipper''': Ah! Mother of pearl, that stings! I lost visuals! Kowalski, be my eyes!
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': ''[the penguins are cornered in an alley by Dave's henchmen]'' Alright, boys, battle stance.
:'''Kowalski''': ''[exhausted]''  We're in battle stance, sir. ''[Rico takes the sock off Skipper's head]''
:'''Skipper''': Oh, good. Now, we spring our trap.
:''[One of Dave's henchmen grabs the mandolin of the gondolier and smashes it, who runs away]''
:'''Kowalski''': I'm not sure ''they're'' the ones that are trapped, sir.
:'''Skipper''': Kowalski, remember our little talk about true but unhelpful comments?
:'''Kowalski''': Yes, sir.
:'''Skipper''': Sometimes we just have to wing it.
:''[An owl swoops down, grabs one of the octopi and throws him in a window. Kowalski stares amazed]''
:'''Kowalski''': Wow...
:''[A seal pops out of a light bulb, throws a flash grenade at the other octopus, which explodes, pushes him backwards to the wall. The telephone booth changes shape, revealing a polar bear pulling out a taser, shocking the last octopus, who goes through the sewer grate]''
:'''Kowalski''': Sorry for underestimating the plan, Skipper.
:'''Skipper''': It's okay, Kowalski. Just don't ever doubt me again. Now what the heck is going on?!
:''[A plane flies over the rooftops and a wolf drops down and lands in front of them]''
:'''Wolf''': Remain calm, penguins. You are now under the protection of the North Wind. ''[shows a badge]'' You're welcome.

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[The penguins have been rescued by the North Wind, they are on the plane and flies off]''
:'''Polar Bear''': Oh my gosh. You guys are so cute!
:''[The polar bear grabs the penguins and hugs them tightly]''
:'''Polar Bear''': And cuddly!
:'''Skipper''': Hey, get away!
:''[Skipper slaps the polar bear's lower jaw]''
:'''Skipper''': No more hugs!
:'''Polar Bear''': It's like being licked by a basketful of doggy dogs.
:'''Wolf''': ''[sighs]'' Corporal, ''Corporal''! Chart a course back to North Wind Headquarters.
:''[The polar bear, Corporal, puts the penguins down, then makes a heart sign with his paws before typing a computer]''
:'''Wolf''': Eva, inform them we’re bringing in witnesses.
:'''Skipper''': Private, dibble me.
:''[Private takes a dibble bag out of Rico's body, gives it to Skipper, then he jumps in front of the wolf]''
:'''Skipper''': We're not going anywhere with you. ''[munches]'' We don't even know who the heck you are.
:'''Wolf''': The North Wind is an elite undercover inter-species—
:''[Skipper munches each time, interrupting the wolf]''
:'''Wolf''': The North Wind is an elite undercover inter-spec— ...an elite undercover inter-species— ...task– ...force. Dedicated to help– ...helping– Dedicated to– Ded– Dedicated to helping animals who can't help themselves!
:''[Skipper munches again for the last time]''
:'''Wolf''': Like penguins.
:'''Skipper''': Really, and you are...?
:'''Wolf''': My name is classified.
:'''Skipper''': Classified, eh? What is that, uh, Dutch? Can't really hear the accent.
:'''&quot;Classified&quot;''': Excuse me?
:'''Skipper''': ''There's'' the accent.
:'''Agent &quot;Classified&quot;''': No, my ''(actual)'' name isn't &quot;Classified&quot;, my name is classified ''(meaning I'm not telling you my real name)'' because I am the leader of this strike team. The seal is Short Fuse, weapons and explosives. The bear is Corporal, he’s our muscle. And the owl is Eva, intelligence and analysis.
:'''Skipper''': Well, Agent Classified, we happen to be an elite unit too.
:''[Skipper accidentally steps on a button which starts an alarm]''
:'''Voice''': Self-destruct sequence activated.
:'''Skipper''': You know, you should really label these things. 
:'''Voice''': 3… 2… 1…
:''[Classified pushes the button again, turning the self-destruct off]''
:'''Skipper''': The name's Skipper. I run this outfit. That there is Kowalski, he's the brains of our operation. Say something smart, Kowalski.
:'''Kowalski''': ''[staring awestruck at Eva]'' Uhhh...
:''[Eva looks back at Kowalski]''
:'''Skipper''': See? He's working on a ''whole'' 'nother level.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Classified''': All right, tiny penguins. The best way for the North Wind to protect helpless animals like yourselves, is to bring Dr. Brine to justice. Now you were in his sub, so I need to know everything you know.
:''[The penguins are relaxing and enjoying the chairs and they raised them up high, giving a cheer]''
:'''Classified''': ''[almost losing his patience]'' Just tell me everything you know.
:'''Skipper''': Alright.
:''[Skipper lowers his chair, same with the other penguins]''
:'''Skipper''': Numero uno - never trust a Dutchman in a tulip fight.
:'''Classified''': ''[takes notes]'' Tulip fight.
:'''Skipper''': Canada is secretly training an army of Sasquatch.
:'''Classified''': Sasquatch.
:'''Skipper''': Hot dogs are in fact only 17% actual dog.
:'''Classified''': 17%… Not ''everything'' everything!
:''[Classified shows Skipper a board of evidence of Dave, as Dr. Brine, with a picture of a sheep next to it]''
:'''Classified''': Just everything regarding your abduction by Dr. Octavius Brine.
:'''Skipper''': Ah. Why didn't you say so?
:'''Classified''': ''[confused]'' What?
:'''Skipper''': My team has uncovered that Dr. Octavius Brine is actually an individual known as Derek.
:'''Kowalski''': &quot;Dave&quot;.
:'''Skipper''': As Dave, the octopus.
:'''Short Fuse''': An octopus? ''[laughs]'' No, no, Dr. Brine is not an octopus. He's...
:''[Classified stands in front of the picture of the sheep]''
:'''Classified''': An octopus! ''[clears throat]'' Precisely! That's exactly what our intel indicated.
:''[Classified puts the picture in a trash bin and whispers into his wrist watch]''
:'''Classified''': &lt;small&gt;Release the sheep.&lt;/small&gt;
:''[At a barn, a sheep gets kicked out and eats grass. Back at North Wind headquarters]''
:'''Classified''': What ''you'', of course could not know, is that Dr. Brine's laboratory in Venice is secretly developing a doomsday weapon called the &quot;Medusa Serum&quot;.
:'''Skipper''': Ah, but what ''you'' don't know is that Dirk...
:'''Kowalski''': &quot;Dave&quot;.
:'''Skipper''': ...Dave won't be using his Bazooka Serum...
:'''Kowalski''': &quot;Medusa Serum&quot;.
:'''Skipper''': ...Medusa Serum on anybody.
:'''Kowalski''': That part is accurate.
:'''Skipper''': Show him, Rico.
:''[Rico spits out the vial containing the Medusa Serum]''
:'''Classified''': You stole the Medusa Serum?
:'''Skipper''': Well, stole the Serum, saved the day, did your job for you. Call it what you will.
:''[Suddenly, the screen goes on, revealing Dave]''
:'''Skipper''': Debbie!
:'''Kowalski''': &quot;Dave&quot;.
:'''Skipper''': Dave!
:'''Corporal''': He hacked into our system.
:''[There's no sound on-screen of what Dave is saying]''
:'''Eva''': Where's the sound? I can't hear anything.
:'''Kowalski''': Dave. Your microphone, it's not on.
:'''Classified''': Click on the button with the picture of the microphone.
:'''Short Fuse''': Every time a villain calls in, this happens.
:'''Dave''': Hello?
:''[The screen goes off]''
:'''Dave''': Hello?
:'''Kowalski''': Look, now we can hear you, but we can't see you.
:'''Short Fuse''': So annoying! Every time!
:'''Classified''': It's like talking to my parents.
:''[The screen comes back on]''
:'''Dave''': How about now? ''(Is that better?)''
:''[Everyone is in agreement]''
:'''Private''': Hooray!
:'''Classified''': Yes! That's fantastic.
:'''Corporal''': Great!
:'''Dave''': Excellent! Now, where was I? ''(Oh, yeah.)''
:''[With his tentacle in a fist, Dave does an evil laugh]''
:'''Kowalski''': Dave!
:''[Everyone glares at Dave]''
:'''Dave''': Greetings, North Wind! I see you've met my old zoo-mates.
:'''Skipper''': We were never mates. There was no mating.
:'''Classified''': Turn yourself in, David. You're powerless now that I've stolen your precious Medusa Serum.
:'''Skipper''': What, you? You didn't steal that!
:'''Classified''': It's over.
:'''Dave''': It's over? Then why did I call you? Weird. Oh, maybe it was to show you this!
:''[Dave turns the camera to show them a giant vial containing the Serum. Everyone gasps with shock]''
:'''Kowalski''': That is a lot of serum for 4 penguins.
:'''Dave''': Oh, you thought this was just about you 4? No. No, no, no, no. We're just getting started.
:''[Dave takes a selfie with a camera]''
:'''Dave''': Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go do some shopping. For revenge!
:''[Dave presses the button to turn off the screen but nothing happens, he presses it again but nothing still happens]''
:'''Dave''': ''(For re–)'' Wait. How do you...?
:''[Dave turns to his octopus thugs for help]''
:'''Dave''': What do I push? Is it the red or...? I thought it was... It's not this–
:''[One octopus presses something and the screen goes blank. A picture of Dave's selfie comes out of the printer]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[The penguins are in a box on a plane to Madagascar]''
:'''Skipper''': Ugh, where the heck are we?
:'''Kowalski''': Oxygen content is low. I suggest we limit our breathing.
:''[Then the sound of a fart broke the silence]''
:'''Skipper''': Aw, Private!
:''[The penguins rip holes on the box to breathe for air]''
:'''Private''': Sorry. I get gassy when I fly.
:'''Skipper''': Toot sweet! He does!
:'''Kowalski''': We must be on a plane!
:''[The penguins move the box to be free. They have darts on their necks and a dart on Private's butt]''
:'''Kowalski''': What did the North Wind do to us?
:'''Private''': Look! They gave us badges!
:''[The Penguins take off the darts]''
:'''Skipper''': Not badges, tranquilizer darts! Classified! That low-down dirty dog is trying to kick us off the mission!
:'''Kowalski''': He thinks we can't save the penguins because we're just &quot;''penguins''&quot;.
:'''Skipper''': Well, penguins are our flesh and feather! They're us, and if anyone's gonna save us, it's us.
:'''Kowalski''': But, Skipper, we've gotta be 5 miles up. That pretty much limits our options.
:'''Skipper''': I ''make'' my own options.
:''[Skipper hits a button, and a hatch opens and boxes come flying out with the penguins]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': Follow me, boys! We're going in hot!
:''[Private flames up like a meteor]''
:'''Private''': Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot…!
:'''Skipper''': No one likes a show off, Private.
:'''Kowalski''': Aim for first class!
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[Dave, as Dr. Brine, holds up a red card to the penguins who played soccer ball at a zoo in Brazil]''
:'''Dave''': [[Elijah Wood|Elijah, would]] you please take them away?
:''[As an octopus grabs the penguins, Dave laughs as he and the octopus fly away in the helicopter. The North Wind's jet arrives]''
:'''Eva''': Penguin footprints, still warm. We just missed Dave.
:'''Classified''': Blast it! ''(We're already too late.)'' He's gone.
:'''Corporal''': So many penguins!
:''[Corporal starts panicking and stress-eating]''
:'''Short Fuse''': Boss, he's stress-eating again!
:'''Classified''': Corporal?
:'''Eva''': ''[to Corporal]'' There, there.
:'''Short Fuse''': ''[rubbing Corporal]'' Rub the angry out of the tummy.
:'''Classified''': Coporal? Fo... Focus. We are going to save those helpless penguins because we are the North Wind! And no one, ''no one'', breaks the wind!
:'''Corporal''': ''[salutes]'' No one breaks the wind!
:'''Classified''': There's a good Corporal. ''[to Eva]'' How come there's beeping?
:'''Eva''': ''[looking at the beeping screen]'' Sir, those penguins... They never made it to Madagascar.
:'''Classified''': ''[shocked]'' What? Well, where the dickens are they?
:''[The penguins pop out of the sewer. Rico spits out some sand]''
:'''Skipper''': Kowalski, what are our coordinates?
:'''Kowalski''': According to my calculations, we're arrived in the center of [[w:Dublin|Dublin]], [[w:Ireland|Ireland]].
:''[The camera zooms out to reveal that the penguins actually arrived in [[w:Shanghai|Shanghai]], [[w:China|China]]]''
:'''Skipper''': Alright, soldiers, we gotta blend in. River dance.
:''[They start river dancing]''
:'''Skipper''': No time to kiss the Blarney stone, boys. We need to find intel on Dave's location.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': Alright, you! Where's Dave? ''[repeatedly slaps a baby squid]'' Give us the goods.
:'''Kowalski''': Sir, that's a baby squid.
:''[The baby squid starts crying, then Skipper puts it down]''
:'''Skipper''': Sorry, laddie. Stranded on the Emerald Isle without a single clue.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': Dave's snow globe collection.
:'''Kowalski''': It's every zoo and aquarium he got kicked out of!
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': You're up, Private. ''[Private comes out behind a &quot;Wet Floor&quot; sign, dressed as a mermaid]'' You just mermaid my day.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Short Fuse''': ''[The Penguins and the North Wind are arguing as to who should turned in Dr. Octavius Brine after having dropped a whale skeleton on him]'' We flattened him.
:''[They push Dr. Octavius Brine aside only to reveal an Open Sewer hatch leading to the pipes of the tanks, knowing that Dave is loose]''
:'''Kowalski''': Drat, Dave is his.
:''[Having made it to the tank of Mermaid Penguins which Private had been placed into, Dave drains the tank sending all the Penguins in it including Private into his tentacles]''
:'''Skipper''': Private! No!
:'''Private''': ''[As he gets pulled into the drain with the other penguins in the tank]'' Skipper, help!
:''[The Penguins and North Wind sulk in despair, as not only has Private been captured, but now Dave has captured all the Penguins from every zoo around the world]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Kowalski''': Sir, Dave’s pulling ahead. We are too heavy.
:'''Skipper''': ''[groans]'' Curse our heavily Cheese dibbled diet!
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[when Rico is throwing away every loose item out of the North Wind’s plane]''
:'''Kowalski''': That's everything, sir.
:'''Skipper''': Have you purged the chemical toilet?
:'''Kowalski''': But Rico was in there for 15 minutes!
:'''Skipper''': JUST DO IT!
:''[Classified says &quot;NO!&quot; repeatedly in horror as some disgusting blue liquid falls on his face]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': ''[after finding out that Classified put homing devices on them]'' You low down, filthy, mangy, bum-sniffing, TOILET DRINKER! ''[slight pause]'' But... good.
:'''Classified''': You see? I told you. You should've left this to the professionals.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Dave''': [inside his lair after he's captured the last of the penguins from zoos around the world] Ahoy there, penguins! I bet you're dying to know why I brought you all here!
:'''Random Penguin''': He's gonna kill us all!
:'''Dave''': What? No. My Medusa Serum doesn't kill anyone. Where's the fun in that? 
:'''Private''': So, what does it do?
:'''Dave''': Something much, much worse.
:'''Private''': Right! But like what especially?
:'''Dave''': ''[to himself]'' Well, that's exactly what I came up here to show you. All I need is a test subject.''[pulls out a random cricket]'' Hello little buggy-boo!  
:'''Cricket''': Is this about the chirping? Cause I could... Whoa! Whoa! ''[Dave throws the group and hands it over to one of his henchman]''  
:'''Dave''': Behold!  as I unleash the full power of the Medusa Serum! ''[to his other henchman]'' Fire! ''[fires the ray containing the Medusa Serum at the cricket, mutating it into a larger state that even replaces his once cute looking face into one monstrous. All the penguins gasp]'' Yes! It works! I made a monster! I made a monster! And all you adorable penguins are next!
:'''Private''': Crikey!
:'''Dave''': Who said that? No. No. No. ''[rushes over to the cage he caught Private in]'' Yes! Gentleman, you remember Private.
:'''Private''': You'll never get away with this Dave! My brothers are coming, and they're gonna get you, and together we'll take a wrecking ball to your whole rotten operation.
:'''Dave''': Call off the hunt everyone. Turns out the elite unit will be coming to us. Boop.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Classified''': ''[to Short Fuse]'' Short Fuse, you were supposed to handcuff them to the raft!
:'''Skipper''': Don't you hologram me! ''[turns off the hologram]''
:'''Short Fuse''': I tried, but they don't have hands. They just have flippers, boss, and-and I have flippers, so it's ''flipping'' useless!
:'''Skipper''': All right, pooch. If you won't work with us, you better work ''for'' us. Our plan requires a diversion.
:'''Classified''': I give the orders around here and as much as it pains me to say this, I need you to act as the die-version for ''our'' operation, understood?
:'''Skipper''': No. This is ''our'' plan and it requires ''you'' to cause a deh-version!
:'''Classified''': Die-version.
:'''Skipper''': Deh-version.
:'''Classified''': Die!
:'''Skipper''': Deh!
:''[Skipper and Classified continue arguing pronouncing diversion; Eva lands in front of them]''
:'''Eva''': Gentlemen, there's only one way to resolve this.
:'''Kowalski''': We should kiss.
:'''Eva''': Plan-off.
:'''Kowalski''': Yep. Plan-off. That's what I was gonna say. Plan-off...
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[The penguins are dressed as German folk musicians]''
:'''Skipper''': We take this shame to our graves.
:'''Kowalski''': Agreed.
:''[They start slap dancing]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[The North Wind have entered Dave’s sub ready to capture him while the Penguins distract his henchmen]''
:'''Classified''': Alright, Dave, put up your tentacles. ''[Dave turns around in his chair to face them and raises 7 tentacles]'' All of them.''
:''[Dave lifts his last tentacle to drink from a juice box. Several octopuses jump onto the North Wind and capture them]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[as Dave prepares to use his ray on Private]''
:'''Dave''': Who's ready to move into live penguin testing?
:'''Skipper''': You point that death ray away from Private right now!
:'''Private''': It's not a death ray, Skipper! He's gonna turn us into monsters!
:'''Dave''': Yepper-doo! &quot;And what comes next, Dave?&quot; ''Invasion''! Ahhh! Horrible mutant penguins released on the streets of New York City!
:'''Kowalski''': ''You're'' the monster!
:'''Dave''': ''[angrily]'' Yes! I'm the monster. Everyone made that clear to me every day of my entire life. But now, let's see how much everyone loves ''you'' when ''you’re'' the monster!
:'''Private''': Skipper!
:'''Skipper''': You can't take away Private's cuteness!
:'''Kowalski''': He's the cute one! ''[Rico grunts in agreement]'' That's-that's his thing!
:'''Private''': What?
:'''Skipper''': It's all the little guy's got! ''[Private rolls his eyes]''
:'''Dave''': Hmm, you are super cute. We'd better crank this up. [[Drew Barrymore|Drew, Barry, more]] power. Ready. 
:'''Kowalski''': Negotiation have broken down. 
:'''Skipper''': Rico, the paper clip! But us out of here! We need that paperclip.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[after everyone thought Private was killed]''
:'''Skipper:''' Private.
:'''Kowalski:''' Oh, no.
:'''Dave''': I disintegrated him. That wasn't supposed to happen.
:'''Kowalski''': [[Planet of the Apes|You maniac! You blew him up!]] ''[Rico whimpers]''
:'''Skipper''': No...
:'''Dave''': Oh well. This is why we test things, people. I'll have to lower the power for the others. Full speed ahead, gentlemen. The monsters are due in Manhattan.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[Private has saved the North Wind from Dave’s henchmen sending them to their doom]''
:'''Classified''': '''Oh no, we’re ''dead!'' DEAD!''' '''''DEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!'''''
:'''Private''': I pushed a button!
:'''Corporal''': Supper. Well, done, Private! 
:'''Eva''': Good work, malinka.
:'''Classified''': Yes. Yes. Excellent button-pushing. Good job.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Private''': Skipper, Skipper! Skipper, Rico, Kowalski! I'm up here, Up here!
:'''Skipper''': It's like I can still hear his little voice, calling to us.
:'''Private''': You have to get out of there! Move!
:'''Skipper''': &quot;You have a great [[w:Otter|otter]] there. Moo.&quot;
:'''Kowalski''': Why would he [[w:Cow|moo]]?
:'''Skipper''': What are asking ''me'' for? I'm not Private's little ghost.
:''[They turn around, only to notice the Medusa Ray in front of them, ready to fire.]
:'''Rico''': Uh-oh!
:''[One of Dave's henchmen fires the Medusa Ray at Skipper, Kowalski, Rico, and all the penguins, as Private watches in horror]''
:'''Private''': ''Noooooo!''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''New York Reporter''': ''[in the harbors of New York City along with a crowd]'' Breaking news, the penguins have been found! OK, according to my notes, genetic researcher, Dr. Octavius Brine, has found the penguins and is bringing them here to New York's Battery Park. The penguins are coming back! Oh my gosh, look!
:'''Dave''': ''[rising from his sub out of the water]'' Penguin lovers of the world! Guess who I found. It wasn't easy, but seeing these penguins get what they derserve will make it worthwhile.
:'''New York Reporter''': What a weird thing to say. I'm so excited!
:'''Dave''': Yay! Your newly improved penguins!
:''[The doors to the sub open letting out green smoke, showing the captured penguins including Skipper, Kowalski and Rico having successfully been mutated by the Medusa Serum, now not so cute looking with scary appearances. The humans gasp in horror]''
:'''Dave''': Oh, the people love you. Just go give them a hug.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Private''': Come on, then. You wanna go? You want some argy-bargy?
:''[He charges at the octopuses while emitting a battle cry]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[The penguins are performing an [[w:Avengers (comics)|Avengers]]-style pose]''
:'''Kowalski''': Sir, how long do we stand here like this?
:'''Skipper''': Until we've reached maximum coolness. ''[smiles confidently after two seconds]'' There it is. Now all we need is a plan.
:'''Private''': I’ve got one.
:'''Skipper''': ''[confused]'' Eh? Uh, huh?
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': You stole Dave's ray?
:'''Private''': Yes, well I figured if we could reverse the ray, we can turn everyone back to normal!
:'''Skipper''': Reverse the ray?
:'''Kowalski''': That’s brilliant, but... it's impossible! In order to reverse the ray, we would need to replace the Medusa Serum with a power source of almost immeasurable cuteness!
:'''Skipper''': Immeasurable cuteness? Where the heck are we supposed to get that? Wait, Private, no. We don’t know what I’ll do to you. 
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[After the ray Private stole accidentally turned a random penguin back to normal]''
:'''Kowalski''': The ray! It works! It WORKS!
:'''Skipper''': Private, are you okay?
:'''Private''': Yes!
:''[Skipper, Rico and Kowalski gasp in surprise and notice that Private has sprouted a hand out of his buttocks]''
:'''Kowalski''': Whoa-oh! Butt-hand! There’s a hand attached to his butt. That was not... that was not there before.
:'''Skipper''': Get out of there. That’s an order!
:'''Private''': ''[salutes]'' Permission to defy order.
:'''Skipper''': Permission denied!
:'''Private''': Then I deny your denial.
:'''Skipper''': It’s too risky, Private. It already made you sprout a butt-hand!
:'''Private''': I know it has to be me this time. ''[places his butt-hand on the glass]'' And I think you know it, too. ''[Concerned about Private’s sacrifice, Skipper places his flipper on the same place where Private placed his butt-hand. They exchange smiles before Private reattaches himself to the ray using his butt-hand.] I'm'' the secret weapon!
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[Dave holds a microphone during his revenge spree]''
:'''Dave''': I'M HAPPYYYYY… and yet…
:''[Dave realizes that his revenge has been succeeded]''
:'''Dave''': Now...that I finally have my revenge, I feel...empty. As if, what I needed all along was... MORE REVENGE! In fact, [[w:Robin Wright|Robin, write]] this down.
:''[One of his minions writes]''
:'''Dave''': Tomorrow, we move on: [[w:Cat|Kittens]], then [[w:Dog|Puppies]], [[w:Rabbit|Bunnies]], [[w:Panda|Pandas]]...
:''[Dave gasps as he sees the penguins using his ray]''
:'''Dave''': [[w:Charlize Theron|Charlize, they're on]] the ray!
:''[Dave runs off, ripping off his human disguise back to his octopus appearance]''
:'''Dave''': [[w:Helen Hunt|Helen, hunt]] 'em down! [[w:William Hurt|William, hurt]] 'em! [[w:Halle Berry|Halle, bury]] 'em! [[w:Hugh Jackman|Hugh, Jack, man]] the battle stations! [[w:Kevin Bacon|Kevin, bake on]]! We're still gonna need that victory cake!
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': Dead batteries?!	
:'''Kowalski''': ''[gasps]'' Game over, Skipper!
:'''Private''': No! ''[notices a nearby grocery store]'' Rico, batteries! Skipper, Kowalski, hold off those octopi! We’re doing this '''''NOW!'''''
:'''Skipper''': You heard Private! Deploy!
:''[They runs and ready to face the army of octopis]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': Rico, dibble me!
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Private''': ''[after the sides effects from the ray, he's tinted pink and grown antlers]'' So, how do I look?
:'''Kowalski''': You’re hideously disfigured and will probably be hunted for sport.
:'''Private''': ''[concerned]'' Wh-Wha...?
:''[Skipper elbows Kowalski]''
:'''Kowalski''': What?
:'''Skipper''': If there's anything we've learned from this delightful adventure, ''Kowalski'', it's that looks don’t matter. It’s what you do that counts. And look at what you did.
:''[The penguins from different countries look at the penguins, baby penguins pop out from behind parent penguins]''
:'''Dave''': Yes, sir. You are the most meaningful and valued member of this team.
:''[Dave salutes Private, Private salutes back. Kowalski and Rico salute as well. Skipper does Private's salute by crossing his eyes and sticking out his tongue. Private did the same and laughs. All the penguins and the North Wind cheer for Private. The victory celebration was cut when everyone heard a thump. Classified turns around and looks at the city. Corporal and Short Fuse gasp. Eva looks up. The cricket gasps. The penguin couple trembled. They see a tentacle appear and Dave appears with his face in a cute way.]''
:'''Skipper''': Ramirez!
:'''Kowalski''': &quot;Dave&quot;.
:'''Skipper''': Dave!
:''[Dave laughs evilly and lures over to them, until he bumps into something invisible. The camera zooms out to reveal that Dave is made cute by the ray, shrunk, and trapped in a snow globe.]''
:'''Dave''': '''WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!'''
:''[The snow globe holding Dave falls out from the tape and Skipper catches him]''
:'''Skipper''': Dave. Ohhoho, look at you.
:'''Dave''': You think this is over? I'm just getting started!
:'''Kowalski''': What do we do with him now?
:''[Rico attempts to swallow the snow globe trapping Dave, but Skipper pulls it away. They see a girl looking at it]''
:'''Girl''': Awww...
:'''Dave''': ''[last words]'' Open this right now!
:'''Skipper''': Here you go, kid.
:''[Skipper tosses the snow globe to the girl]''
:'''Girl''': ''[gasps]'' Cool.
:''[The girl puts her finger on the snow globe. Touched, Dave puts his tentacle on the snow globe where the girl's finger is]''
:'''Skipper''': I hope you find happiness, Dave.
:'''Girl''': ''[shakes the snow globe hard]'' It's snowing, it's snowing, it's snowing, it's snowing!
:''[The girl runs off shaking the snow globe with Dave moaning, much to the surprise of the penguins and the North Wind. After Dave's defeat]''
:'''Classified''': ''[clear his throat]'' Right now, this is difficult for me to say, but...
:'''Skipper''': Is it &quot;osteoporosis&quot;? You just gotta lean into the vowels. Ahhh-stee-ohhhh-pahhh...
:'''Classified''': No, no, I want to say... You 4 are the bravest agents I’ve ever known. The point is... I was ''wrong'' about you, and I hope there’s some way I can make it right.
:'''Kowalski''': ''[to Classified]'' Give us jetpacks.
:'''Eva''': ''[at the same time; to Kowalski]'' We could kiss.
:'''Kowalski''': ''[notices Eva]'' Whoa! Uh... ''[clears his throat]'' Did you just say...?
:''[Eva dips Kowalski, kissing him, while using her other wing to block the camera, much to the disgust of his comrades. As soon as Eva lowers her wings, Kowalski has lipstick marks all over his face]''
:'''Kowalski''': Well, that feels right!
:'''Private''': I think I'd actually prefer a jetpack, please.
:'''Skipper''': I think we should go with Private's idea.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[After the Penguins turned Private back to normal with the help of King Julien and Mort]''
:'''King Julien''': You know, if I'm being honest, I expected a little more... pizzazz! ''[as a side effect from using the ray, Mort ends up eating King Julien]'' Yes! Now, that's pizzazz!
:''[Mort giggles]''

== Taglines ==
* The movie event that will blow their cover
* All bark, no flight (Skipper and Classified tagline)
* Hot wings (Kowalski and Eva tagline)
* Loose cannons (Rico and Short Fuse tagline)
* Dangerously cute (Private and Corporal tagline)

==Cast==
* [[w:Tom McGrath (animator)|Tom McGrath]] — Skipper
* [[w:Chris Miller (animator)|Chris Miller]] — Kowalski
* [[w:Christopher Knights|Chris Knights]] — Private
* [[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]] — Rico
* [[w:John Malkovich|John Malkovich]] — Dave / Dr. Octavius Brine
* [[w:Benedict Cumberbatch|Benedict Cumberbatch]] — Agent Classified
* [[w:Ken Jeong|Ken Jeong]] — Short Fuse
* [[w:Annet Mahendru|Annet Mahendru]] — Eva
* [[w:Peter Stormare|Peter Stormare]] — Corporal
* [[w:Andy Richter|Andy Richter]] — Mort
* [[w:Danny Jacobs (actor)|Danny Jacobs]] — King Julien
* [[Dee Bradley Baker]]&lt;br&gt;[[Frank Welker]]&lt;br&gt;[[w:Chris Sanders|Chris Sanders]] — Octopi

==See also==
* ''[[The Penguins of Madagascar|The Penguins of Madagascar (TV series)]]''
* ''[[Madagascar (2005 film)|Madagascar]]''
* ''[[Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa|Escape to Africa]]''
* ''[[Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted|Europe's Most Wanted]]''

==External Links==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:2014 films]]
[[Category:2010s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated action films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:Spy films]]
[[Category:Film spin-offs]]
[[Category:Madagascar]]
[[Category:Animated films about penguins]]
[[Category:Animated films about wolves]]
[[Category:Films about polar bears]]
[[Category:Films about owls]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:Films set in Venice]]
[[Category:Films set in Shanghai]]
[[Category:Simon J. Smith films]]
[[Category:Films directed by Eric Darnell]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Wendy Doniger O'Flaherty</title>
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      <text bytes="30424" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Wendy_Doniger_Shimer_College_2012.jpg|right|thumb|O’Flaherty in 2012]]
'''[[w:Wendy Doniger|Wendy Doniger O'Flaherty]]''' (born 20 November, 1940) is an American [[w:Indologist|Indologist]].

==Quotes==

*The [[Bhagavad Gita]] is not as nice a book as some Americans think…Throughout the [[Mahabharata]] … [[Krishna]] goads human beings into all sorts of murderous and self-destructive behaviors such as war…. The Gita is a dishonest book …”
**Wendy Doniger,  Quoted in Philadelphia Inquirer, 19 November, 2000. Quoted in  Antonio de Nicolas, Krishnan Ramaswamy, and Aditi Banerjee (eds.) (2007), ''[[w:Invading the Sacred|Invading the Sacred: An Analysis Of Hinduism Studies In America]]'' (Publisher:  Rupa &amp; Co., p. 13), also in [[Rajiv Malhotra]]: [https://rajivmalhotra.com/library/articles/risa-lila-1-wendys-child-syndrome/ Wendy's Child Syndrome], also in Rajiv Malhotra, Academic Hinduphobia: A Critique of Wendy Doniger's Erotic School of Indology (2016)

*There is generally, therefore, an inverse ratio between the worship of goddesses and the granting of rights to human women. Nor are the goddesses by and large compassionate; they are generally a pretty bloodthirsty lot. Goddesses are not the solution.
**Wendy Doniger,  Quoted in The Washington Post. Quoted in  Antonio de Nicolas, Krishnan Ramaswamy, and Aditi Banerjee (eds.) (2007), ''[[w:Invading the Sacred|Invading the Sacred: An Analysis Of Hinduism Studies In America]]'' (Publisher:  Rupa &amp; Co., p. 13), also in [[Rajiv Malhotra]]: [https://rajivmalhotra.com/library/articles/risa-lila-1-wendys-child-syndrome/ Wendy's Child Syndrome], also in Rajiv Malhotra: Academic Hinduphobia: A Critique of Wendy Doniger's Erotic School of Indology (2016)

===Q&amp;A with Wendy Doniger, the Mircea Eliade Distinguished Service Professor and author of The Hindus===

[[File:Dharmaraya_Swamy_Temple_Bangalore_edit1.jpg|right|thumb|That's what really interested me about [[India]], the [[religious]] aspect-and the [[extravagance]] of it. There was so much of it; the [[w:List of Hindu temples in India|temples]] had all these things crawling all over them. It was so [[alive]] and complicated compared to the relative [[w:Austerity|austerity]] that I saw in [[Jewish]] and especially [[w:Protestantism|Protestant]] ceremonies. Not so much [[Catholic]] ceremonies, though....]]

[[File:Indischer_Maler_um_1650_%28I%29_001.jpg|right|thumb|The [[culture]]-its [[excess]]-really suited me. I always liked [[w:Indian miniature painting|Indian miniature painting]] much more than [[w:Renaissance painting|Renaissance painting]]. I didn't see what was so great about [[Rembrandt]] or [[Michelangelo]]. I liked paintings where there were 10,000 people in the scene and [[elephants]] and [[horses]]! I liked the [[carvings]] on Indian temples so much more than the simple [[architectural]] outlines.]]

[[File:Kali-puja.jpg|right|thumb|I was raised deeply imbued with my parents' [[atheism]]. The [[thought]] of really, seriously practicing any [[religion]] doesn't really work for me. But I feel at home in religious buildings and ceremonies. I still hang out a lot in Catholic churches in America. I like going to [[Catholic]] masses; I always go to [[Christmas]] and [[Easter]]. In [[India]] I always go to temples and to the [[w:Puja|pujas]]. But to be committed to the dogma of any religion-to be told what to believe-goes against my grain in some basic way.]]

&lt;small&gt;In: ''[http://news.uchicago.edu/article/2009/11/05/qa-wendy-doniger-mircea-eliade-distinguished-service-professor-and-author-hindus Q&amp;A with Wendy Doniger, the Mircea Eliade Distinguished Service Professor and author of The Hindus]'' UChicagoNews, 5 November 2009&lt;/small&gt;

*There was an [[India]]n edition of most of my [[books]], but it didn't make much of a splash.
**On the impact of her books in India. But her publication of ''The Hindus: An Alternative History'', a sweeping [[w:History of Hinduism|history of Hinduism]] from its origins in 2500 B.C. to the present, though a [[success]], it has been controversial (this aspect has been covered in another quote above).

*I've always felt like I haven't given anything back to [[India]] after all that she had given me, just soaked up all the wonderful stories and told them to [[Americans]]. Now at last I feel that I have contributed something to India, sharing with them stories that many of them know but many of them do not, and sharing an approach to the [[history]] of the [[Hindus]] that highlights things that are usually ignored.
**About her contributions to India.

*My mother had rubbings from the temple at [[w:Angkor Watt|Angkor Watt]] on the walls-that was the first thing that interested me. But it really began when I was in my teens, when my mother gave me a copy of ''[[w:A Passage to India|A Passage to India]]''. I really came into it from [[literature]]-only later did I turn to [[w:List of Hindu scriptures|religious literature]]. I read [[w:Rumer Godden|Rumer Godden]]'s ''Mooltiki'', and other stories and [[poems]] of [[India ]](1957) and I read [[Kipling]]'s [[w:Jungle Book|Jungle Book]]s. Then I read the [[Upanishads]], and it was just so fascinating to me. I was raised by [[atheist]] and [[communist]] [[parents]], so we had no [[religion]] whatsoever.
**About her first introduction to [[India]].

*That's what really interested me about [[India]], the [[religious]] aspect-and the [[w:Extravagance|extravagance]] of it. There was so much of it; the [[w:List of Hindu temples in India|temples]] had all these things crawling all over them. It was so [[alive]] and complicated compared to the relative [[w:Austerity|austerity]] that I saw in [[Jewish]] and especially [[w:Protestantism|Protestant]] ceremonies. Not so much [[Catholic]] ceremonies, though. I always loved [[Catholicism]] for the same reason that I [[love]] [[Hinduism]], they're so much alike: the [[w:Kitsch|kitsch]], the colors, the [[w:Incense|incense]], the [[saints]] and the [[pageantry]].

*That was the other thing that drew me to [[India]]-the [[language]]. In high school my [[w:Latin language|Latin]] [[teacher]] taught me [[w:GreeK|Greek]] unofficially on Monday nights. I loved Greek; I loved the idea that there was another [[script]]. And then my Latin teacher told me there was a language that was even older and more interesting than Greek: [[w:Sanskrit language|Sanskrit]]. So everything started coming together-the [[art]], the [[literature]], the language.
**On the aspect of her studying [[w:Sanskrit language|Sanskrit]]. 

*The [[culture]]-its [[excess]]-really suited me. I always liked [[w:Indian miniature painting|Indian miniature painting]] much more than [[w:Renaissance painting|Renaissance painting]]. I didn't see what was so great about [[Rembrandt]] or [[Michelangelo]]. I liked paintings where there were 10,000 people in the scene and [[elephants]] and [[horses]]! I liked the [[carvings]] on Indian temples so much more than the simple [[architectural]] outlines.
**On the cultural aspect of [[India]]. 

*I was raised deeply imbued with my parents' [[atheism]]. The [[thought]] of really, seriously practicing any [[religion]] doesn't really work for me. But I feel at home in religious buildings and ceremonies. I still hang out a lot in Catholic churches in America. I like going to [[Catholic]] masses; I always go to [[Christmas]] and [[Easter]]. In [[India]] I always go to temples and to the [[w:Puja|pujas]]. But to be committed to the dogma of any religion-to be told what to believe-goes against my grain in some basic way.
**About her intent to practice [[Hinduism]].

*But when I do think about [[religious]] problems, I think in [[Hindu]] categories. When my father died, it was the first time something really terrible happened to me-and [[Christianity]] and [[Judaism]] were of absolutely no use to me. My [[Jewish]] and [[Christian]] [[friends]] would take me to [[w:Synagogues|synagogues]] and [[churches]], and it didn't help at all. And then I started thinking about the [[myths]] I was translating at the time, which were about [[death]]-why there is death, how death came into the [[world]], what happens when we die, speculations about [[karma]] and rebirth. The Hindu version of it made more sense to me than anything. It just seemed like [[Shiva]] as a [[god]] was more likely to be responsible for the world the way I knew it than the gods of Judaism and Christianity. [[w:Capricious|Capricious]], [[beautiful]], [[violent]], it just made more [[sense]].
**About her intent to practice [[Hinduism]].

*So I agree with a lot of [[w:Hindu mythology|Hindu mythology]] and [[theology]], and I think [[Hinduism]] describes [[life]] better than any other [[religion]]. It has a vision of the [[universe]] that corresponds more closely to the universe I've glimpsed in my 68 years on this [[planet]] than other [[visions]] of the universe.
**About her intent to practice [[Hinduism]].

*I feel at home in Hindu temples. I like how complicated they are. Being in a great Hindu temple is like being in a [[w:Forest|forest]]. You can wander around all day. People kind of leave you alone. When you wander around temples when there isn't a [[ceremony]], there's a kind of [[peace]]fulness about them, and I recognize the [[scenes]] and the [[icons]]. That's [[Shiva]] doing this, that's [[Parvati]] doing that. Whereas when I go to the [[Vatican]], I have to have someone explain to me what the [[w:Sistine Chapel|Sistine Chapel]]  is all about. So I'm at home in [[Hinduism]] in that [[sense]], I know what it's all about.
**About her intent to practice Hinduism

*It's the [[religious]] aspects in which I feel most at home, in a way. No, I don't really feel at home in [[India]] anymore. I'm not physically comfortable in India most of the time-I like [[Chicago]], I like [[snow]]. It's an [[irony]] that I should be an [[w:Indologist|Indologist]] because I don't like hot [[climates]]. I don't like crowds. There are too many things about [[India]] that don't suit my physical makeup. And also, I hardly ever go to [[w:Bengal|Bengal]], so I don't have a [[language]][ to speak. So I go as a visitor. I visit friends. To some extent, ironically, I'm more at home in India now because there are fabulous hotels with good food and people speaking English, it's like being in [[New York]], but if I go to a village I can't talk to people. I don't know if I ever really was at home in India, but I [[love]] being there.
**About her comfort level staying in [[India]].

*[[India]] is still foreign to me, it's a familiar foreignness in some way, but it's still surprising. When you see a temple in India, you don't say, oh there's another temple, you say: &quot;My [[God]]! How could anyone have had the [[imagination]] to do something so amazing!&quot; It's never what you expect.
**About her comfort level staying in [[India]].

=='The Hindus' (2009) ==

*I myself am by both [[temperament]] and [[training]] inclined to [[texts]]. I am neither an [[archaeologist]] nor an [[art]] [[historian]]; I am a [[w:Sanskritist|Sanskritist]], indeed a recovering [[w:Orientalism|Orientalist]], of a generation that framed its study of [[w:Sanskrit language|Sanskrit]]  with [[w:Latin language|Latin]] and [[w:Greek|Greek]] rather than [[w:Urdu language|Urdu]] or [[w:Tamil language|Tamil]]. I’ve never dug anything up out of the ground or established the date of a [[sculpture]]. I’ve labored all my [[adult]] [[life]] in the paddy fields of Sanskrit, since I know [[w:Ancient India|ancient India]] best. 
**In: ''[https://books.google.co.in/books?id=nNsXZkdHvXUC&amp;pg=PA35 The Hindus: An Alternative History],'' Oxford University Press, 30 September 2010, p. 35.

*The two sets of sources, textual and nontextual, reveal bits of [[history]] to us in different ways, like the lame man riding on the shoulders of the blind man. When it comes to history, you can’t [[trust]] anyone: The texts lie one way, while [[images]] and [[archeology]] mislead us in other ways. On the one hand, the [[gods]] did not fly around in big palaces, as the texts insist that they did, and we cannot know if women really did speak up as [[w:Gargi Vachaknavi|Gargi]] does in the [[Upanishads]], or [[Draupadi]] in the [[Mahabharata]]. 
**In: '' The Hindus: An Alternative History,'' p. 34.

*[[James Joyce]], in his novel ''Finnegans Wake'', in 1939, punned on the word “Hindoo” (as the [[British]] used to spell it), joking that it came from the names of two [[w:Irish people|Irishmen]], Hin-nessy and Doo-ley: “This is the hindoo Shimar Shin between the dooley boy and the hinnessy.
**In: '' The Hindus: An Alternative History,'' p. 30.

===About her book 'The Hindus'===

*I was, of course, [[angry]] and disappointed to see this happen, and I am deeply troubled by what it foretells for [[w:Free speech|free speech]] in [[India]] in the present, and steadily worsening, [[w:Political climate|political climate]]... I do not blame [[w:Penguin Books|Penguin Books]], [[India]]. Other publishers have just quietly withdrawn other books without making the effort that Penguin made to save this book [''The Hindus: An Alternative History'']. Penguin, India, took this book on knowing that it would stir anger in the [[w:Hindutva|Hindutva]] ranks, and they defended it in the [[courts]] for four years, both as a [[w:Lawsuit|civil]] and as a [[w:Lawsuitcriminal suit]]. They were finally defeated by the true [[villain]] of this piece – the [[w:Indian law|Indian law]] that makes it a criminal rather than civil offense to publish a book that offends any [[Hindu]], a law that jeopardizes the physical safety of any [[w:Publisher|publisher]], no matter how ludicrous the accusation brought against a book.
**Wendy Doniger, In: ''[http://fleursdumal.nl/mag/category/news-events/page/12 India: PEN protests withdrawal of best-selling book],'' Fleursdumal.org
**Her book [''The Hindus: An Alternative History''] became controversial and Dinanath Batra of Shiksha Bachao Andolan filed a case against the publisher, claiming that the book was offensive to [[Hindus]] and therefore in violation of Section 295A of the [[w:Indian penal code|Indian penal code]] which prohibits ‘deliberate and malicious acts intended to outrage religious feelings or any class by insulting its religion or [[religious]] [[beliefs]].'

*Doniger makes clear that no history focused on an imperial centre can capture the history of the Hindus here, any more than could such a state-focused story in the days before the arrival of the Muslims. But at the same time, the very structure of her presentation points also to the import-ance of the state as a locus for understanding how the history of the Hindus depends also on an engagement with broader currents of historical change extending outside India and linking this history to larger, worldwide processes. 
**Gilmartin, David (December 2010), &quot;Review of Wendy Doniger, The Hindus: An Alternative History (New York: Penguin), 2009. 779 pages. $35&quot;, Indian Historical Review, 37: 338–345

*As a loosely applied, but strongly integrative, model, she proposes three roughly consecutive alliances: first the Vedic one of gods and humans as opposed to anti-gods and ogres, then the epic-Puranic one in which ascetics and renunciants seem to join over-ambitious ogres and anti-gods in threatening the gods, and finally the bhakti alliance that restores human dependence on the gods. From the point of view of the historian such a loose periodisation is satisfactory and convincing, especially in the first three fifths of the book, which deal with little else than the social and cultural history of religion.  For the periods of the Delhi Sultanate, the Mughals and the British, however, when the author's focus partly shifts to political circumstances, her story is often episodic and sometimes, I think, a little naïve..
** Kolff, D. H. A. (2011). &quot;Wendy Doniger, the Hindus: An Alternative History (New York: Penguin), 2009. 779 pages. Rs 999&quot;. Indian Historical Review. 37 (2): 333–338. doi:10.1177/037698361003700214. 

*Long before Doniger’s book was pulped, an event which the secularists have eagerly highlighted, her book was replied to in detail by Vishal Agarwal... He showed that she was either wrong or unmistakably biased in hundreds of passages. For a lifelong tenant of a very prestigious Indology chair, it is shameful that she could deliver such substandard work. But the fact that her work was anything but scholarly, has been carefully hidden by the secularists, including in the present article. Yet the fact that such a bad book was universally applauded and even earmarked for an Indian award, tells you a lot about the power equation, with the anti-Hindu forces jubilantly on top. 
**    Koenraad Elst, On Modi Time : Merits And Flaws of Hindu Activism In Its Day Of Incumbency – 2015 Ch 17

* But because Doniger’s flippant approach serves the purpose of belittling and ridiculing Hinduism well, it is welcomed and highlighted by the Indian elite with its many-pronged attack on Hinduism... American Indologists including Wendy Doniger have always condoned religious discrimination on condition that Hindus are at the receiving end; they only protest when Hindus show initiative...  Yet, they did have the arguments. A list of the numerous factual errors in Doniger's book has been compiled by Vishal Agarwal.. [he] has shown how her book's treatment of Hinduism is unconscientious and flippant to a degree that would never be accepted from a professor of her rank for more established religions. ... ... And she is not even a psychologist: elsewhere, her “alternative” (actually quite conformistic, only a bit more titillating) deconstruction of a religion would have been criticized as not based on any competence. 
**Elst, Koenraad. Hindu dharma and the culture wars. (2019). New Delhi : Rupa

* It is a learned book: one cannot help being amazed by the amount and variety of source materials the author has at her command, many of which one would not find, or not expect to find, in a book on the history of Hinduism and its practitioners...She especially loves to illustrate ancient stories by interjecting comparisons with situations with which the audience is familiar: Doniger commands an unbelievably vast array of comparable material, often, though not always, from American popular culture.... Since Wendy Doniger openly disclaims any ambition to have written a conventional history (&quot;my training is as a philologist, not a historian,&quot; p. 3), minor historical slips may be forgiven. Yet, there are some that deserve to be rectified.
** Rocher, Ludo (April/June 2012), &quot;Review: The Hindus: An Alternative History by Wendy Doniger&quot;, Journal of the American Oriental Society, 132 (2): 302–304 

*There are several issues that need more detailed and nuanced analysis rather than straight-jacketed formulations that we read in The Hindus. These concern terminologies and chronologies invoked, perfunctory manner in which class-caste struggles have been referred to — almost casually, complex inter-religious dialogue seen only in the context of Visnu's avataras, and looking at the tantras merely in terms of sex and political power. The work rarely rises above the level of tale telling... On the whole, this is neither a serious work for students of Indian history, nor for those with a critical eye on 'religious history' of India, nor indeed it is the real Alternative History of the 'Hindus'. The main actors of the narrative are not speaking themselves. They merely seem to be mouthing dialogues scripted by the privileged upper classes. 
** Shrimali, K. M. (July–August 2010), &quot;Review of The Hindus: An Alternative History by Wendy Doniger&quot;, Social Scientist, 38 (7/8): 66–81 
 
*An array of puns, asides and (sometimes off-key) jokes makes the book more bulky and somewhat anecdotal, but also entertaining to read. 
**Shome, Shubhodeep (2012), &quot;Review of The Hindus: An Alternative History by Wendy Doniger&quot;, South Asia Research, 32: 77–79

===About her book 'Against Dharma'===
*[[Narendra Modi]] govt undermining scientific temper of Arthashastra, Kamasutra, sceptic [[Charvaka]]s; is &quot;promoting&quot; mythoscience. 
** Quoted in her [https://books.google.co.in/books?id=LbxODwAAQBAJ&amp;redir_esc=y Against Dharma] book.

==About Wendy Doniger==

*Doniger is fond of using pseudoscientific language to make her dismissive, negative and often poorly evidenced opinions on Hinduism sound weightier than they are—claiming for instance that Western feminists who embrace the Hindu Goddess are wrong because, when she compares India to Monotheistic, Male- God cultures, there is “in general an inverse ratio between the worship of goddesses and the granting of rights to human women.” Doniger does not produce any evidence to substantiate this sweeping statement which she has made....
**Quoted in  Antonio de Nicolas, Krishnan Ramaswamy, and Aditi Banerjee (eds.) (2007), ''[[w:Invading the Sacred|Invading the Sacred: An Analysis Of Hinduism Studies In America]]'' (Publisher:  Rupa &amp; Co., p. 493), Paul Courtright’s ‘Ganesa, Lord of Obstacles, Lord of Beginnings’: An Independent Review by Vishal Agarawal and Kalavai Venkat

*Doniger’s school of scholarship universalizes [[Freudian]] methodologies and pathologies, and combines them with obscure Indic materials to weave wild theories about Indian culture. Indians advocating Freudian psychoanalysis have simply accepted and mimicked the Western theories without independently verified clinical and empirical data to establish their applicability in Indian contexts.
**Quoted in  Antonio de Nicolas, Krishnan Ramaswamy, and Aditi Banerjee (eds.) (2007), ''[[w:Invading the Sacred|Invading the Sacred: An Analysis Of Hinduism Studies In America]]'' (Publisher:  Rupa &amp; Co., p. 39)

*“For Hinduism studies, the 21st century opens with an audacious tome by Wendy Doniger, ‘The Hindus An Alternative History’, Penguin/Viking 2009. This act of ‘courage’ or saahasa (also done with plenty of saa-haasa or tongue in cheek humor), ends up being closer to the ancient meaning of the word saahasa as used in Indian law codes, that is, an offence. After reading only a few pages of this book, I was reminded of something I did in my greener days. In late teens, when I had enough Sanskrit to read Valmiki, I went to my village educated mother, hoping to shock her, with my discovery that Valmiki’s Rama when in exile used to hunt the deer, roast the meat and offer it to Sita. My mother, though not pleased at this great news, watched me intently to study my intentions and quickly took away my sadistic pleasure by quoting a line from Tulsidas, of whose Ramayana, she was a daily reader. ‘Naanaa bhaanti Raam avataaraa/ Raamayana shata koti apaaraa’ (Rama has taken many kinds of avatars and Ramayanas are hundred crores in number). Today I marvel at the profound meaning this rural untutored woman had deciphered from the text of Tulsi that some of us are unable to grasp even though we may have spent a life time of reading and teaching heavy classical texts in Sanskrit and that too sitting on the cushion of a salary. She not only kept ‘her Rama’ intact, but showed no antagonism, distaste or horror of the ‘hunter Rama’ who was just another avatara, and not somebody who would threaten her faith, demolish the ‘myth of the holy cow’, endanger notions of Hindu vegetarianism, create doubts about the historicity of Rama, or give a boost to the tension between ‘Hindu attitude to violence in sacrifice and the Hindu ideal of nonviolence’ in life, a favorite theme in Doniger’s book. Myths or stories are many and in many versions. Do they mean to burden us with a past to be carried as a cross or are they meant to liberate us from ignorance and illusion that we ourselves create? Or, are myths to be interpreted as ‘narratives’ that aim to make a people, Hindus specially, uncomfortable, dislocated and even ashamed of their own heritage in order to make them yield to predatory cultures? These are some of the questions that come to mind while reading Doniger’s massive volume.” 
** Nothing New or Alternative in Doniger's “Linga”, her “narrative of religion&quot;,  Bharat Gupt. quoted in  [https://talageri.blogspot.com/2016/05/parameters-for-writing-of-indian-history.html] [https://hindureview.com/2014/02/19/nothing-new-or-alternative-in-donigers-linga-her-narrative-of-religion/]

* [High-profile India-watching academics] “need to indulge America’s saviour complex if they need a share of the shrinking funding. The objective of the research needs to alleviate the misery of some victim and challenge a villain. And so, Doniger will provide evidence of how Puranic tales reinforce Brahmin hegemony, while Pollock will begin his essays on Ramayana with reference to Babri Masjid demolition, reminding readers that his paper has a political, not merely a theoretical, purpose. .. Being placed on a high pedestal is central to both strategies. Criticism also evokes a similar reaction in both sides – they quickly declare themselves as misunderstood heroes and martyrs, and stir up their legion of followers... Doniger and Pollock have inspired an army of activist-academicians who sign petitions to keep ‘dangerous’ Indian leaders and intellectuals out of American universities and even American soil”: Subramanian Swamy, Narendra Modi, and in similar controversies Rajiv Malhotra, the Dharma Civilization Foundation and others. Indeed, the Indological community’s touching (occasional) concern for freedom of speech is not erga omnes... No dissent is tolerated. If you agree with either side, you become rational scientists for them. If you disagree with them, you become fascists – or racists.... Being placed on a high pedestal is central to both strategies. Criticism also evokes a similar reaction in both sides – they quickly declare themselves as misunderstood heroes and martyrs, and stir up their legion of followers. ... “Likewise, Doniger and Pollock keep reminding their readers that Hinduism’s seductive ‘spirituality’ must at no point distract one from its communal and casteist truths.”...“Doniger and Pollock follow the Greek mythic pattern that establishes them as heroes who are in the ‘good fight’ against ‘fascist’ monsters.” ...   Wendy Doniger’s conception of Hinduism deserves a more thorough treatment, much of which has already been pioneered by Rajiv Malhotra. But one general observation, which counts for the whole current of psycho-analytical “deconstruction” of Hinduism, is that the clumsy Freudian concepts she uses are simply not sufficient to understand Hindu explorations of consciousness and human nature... “Despite their deep knowledge of Hinduism, neither Elst nor Frawley, neither Doniger nor Pollock, believe in letting go and moving on, which is the hallmark of Hindu thought, often deemed as a feminine trait. Instead,... Doniger and Pollock keep reminding their readers that Hinduism’s seductive ‘spirituality’ must at no point distract one from its communal and casteist truths.” 
**Devdutt Pattanaik, Elst, K. quoted from Elst, Koenraad. Hindu dharma and the culture wars. (2019). New Delhi : Rupa. (quoting D. Pattanaik)

*She would be widely and enthusiastically agreed to be one of [[America]]'s major scholars in the [[w:Humanities|humanities]], wide-ranging, unusually [[imaginative]] and [[poet]]ic, capable of illuminating fundamental issues through a deft use of comparative analysis.
**[[w:Martha Nussbaum|Martha Craven Nussbaum]] in:  ''[https://books.google.co.in/books?id=JLMQh4oc38gC&amp;pg=PA249 The Clash Within: Democracy, Religious Violence, and India's Future]'' , Harvard University Press, 30 June 2009 , p. 249

*It (1973) also happened to be the year when her first major work in early [[India]]'s [[religious]] [[history]], viz., ''Siva, the Erotic Ascetic'' was published and had instantly become a talking point for being a path-breaking work. I still prescribe it as the most essential reading to my postgraduate students at the [[w:University of Delhi|University of Delhi]], where I have been teaching a compulsory course on 'Evolution of Indian Religions' for the last nearly four decades. It was the beginning of series of extremely fruitful and provocative encounters with the formidable scholarship of Wendy Doniger.
**K. M. Shrimali in: ''[http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/27866725?sid=21104904081231&amp;uid=2&amp;uid=3738256&amp;uid=4 Review of The Hindus: An Alternative History  by Wendy Doniger],'' Jstor.org

*And of course, [Wendy Doniger's] translation, again is a ‘re’-translation” of others’ works” in which she has “merely added a fashionable(?) [[Freudian]] coating…  Simple question: if ‘that’ much is wrong in just one story (and this is a small selection only!) — what about the rest of this book and her other translations?… It might have been better to have used the old translations and to have added her Freudian interpretation to them… In sum: The “translation” simply is UNREALIABLE... In view of all of this, I wonder indeed whether Doniger’s translation would have been accepted in the Harvard Oriental Series rather than in Penguin… And a little less hype would also do: ‘a landmark translation, the first authoritative translation in this century’ (cover); ‘to offer to more specialized scholars new interpretations of many difficult verses.’ (p. lxi) — I doubt it.
**Michael Witzel about Wendy Doniger's translations, Quoted in  Antonio de Nicolas, Krishnan Ramaswamy, and Aditi Banerjee (eds.) (2007), ''[[w:Invading the Sacred|Invading the Sacred: An Analysis Of Hinduism Studies In America]]'' (Publisher:  Rupa &amp; Co., p. 66-69), also in [[Rajiv Malhotra]]: [https://rajivmalhotra.com/library/articles/risa-lila-1-wendys-child-syndrome/ Wendys Child Syndrome], also in Rajiv Malhotra: Academic Hinduphobia: A Critique of Wendy Doniger's Erotic School of Indology (2016)

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}

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    <title>Mad Max: Fury Road</title>
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[[File:Mad Max Fury Road logo.png|thumb|]]
'''''[[w:Mad Max: Fury Road|Mad Max: Fury Road]]''''' is a [[w:2015 in film|2015]] Australian [[w:Apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic fiction|post-apocalyptic]] [[w:action film|action film]], set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, in which a woman rebels against a tyrannical ruler in search for her homeland with the aid of a group of female prisoners, a psychotic worshiper, and a drifter named Max.
:''Directed by [[w:George Miller (filmmaker)|George Miller]]. Written by George Miller, [[w:Brendan McCarthy|Brendan McCarthy]], and [[w:Nico Lathouris|Nico Lathouris]].''
&lt;center&gt;'''Only the mad survive.'''[[#Taglines|taglines]]&lt;/center&gt;

== &quot;Mad&quot; Max Rockatansky ==
* ''[Narrating]'' My name is Max. My world is fire and blood. Once, I was a cop. A road warrior searching for a righteous cause. As the world fell...each of us in our own way was broken. It was hard to know who was more crazy. Me... Or everyone else.
* ''[Narrating]'' Here they come again. Worming their way into the black matter of my brain.
* ''[Narrating]'' I tell myself they cannot touch me. They are long dead. I am the one who runs from both the living ''and'' the dead. Hunted by scavengers... Haunted by those I could not protect. So I exist in this wasteland... A man, reduced to a single instinct: Survive.
* How much more can they take from me? They got my blood, now it's my car!
* ''[Takes his jacket off Nux]'' That's my jacket!
* You know, hope is a mistake. If you can't fix what's broken, you'll, uh... you'll go insane.
* ''[to Furiosa]'' Look, it'll be a hard day. But I guarantee you that a hundred and sixty days' ride that way... there's nothing but salt. ''[points back]'' At least that way, we might be able to... together... come across some kind of redemption.
* ''[Pointing at his Interceptor car being driven by a War Boy]'' That's mine!
* ''[To Furiosa]'' Max. My name's Max. That's my name.

== Imperator Furiosa ==
* You wanna get through this? Do as I say. Now pick up what you can and run.
* Out here, everything hurts.
* FOOL!
* ''[To Immortan Joe, just before killing him]'' Remember me?!

== Immortan Joe ==
* Once again, we send off my War Rig to bring back guzzolene from Gas Town, and bullets from the Bullet Farm. Once again, I salute my Imperator Furiosa, and I salute my half-life War Boys, who will ride with me eternal on the highways of Valhalla! ''I AM YOUR REDEEMER!'' It is by my hand you will rise from the ashes of this world!
* Do not, my friends, become addicted to water. It will take hold of you and you will resent its absence.
* Ah, mediocre!
* You will ride eternal, shiny and chrome!
* They're going back to the Citadel! They know it's undefended!
* ''WHERE IS SHE TAKING THEM?!''
* [''Deleted scene line''] '''''HUNT THEM! TURN EVERY GRAIN OF SAND!'''''

== Nux == 
* If I'm going to die, I'm going to die historic, on the fury road!
* Oh, what a day! '''What a lovely day'''!
* I'm the man who grabs the sun, riding to Valhalla!
* I live, I die, I live again!
* I never thought I'd do something as shine as that!
* Witness me.
== Capable ==
* And we'll be with Nux. He's a War Boy. He'll be bringing us home, bringing back what's stolen, like he's supposed to.
* There's no going back!
* Cheedo! We are not things!
* They were her words!
* He's a lying old man.
* Stop! Turn the rig around! Go back for her!
* Tell him to turn the rig around!
* He doesn't know what he's talking about!
* I'd say it was your manifest destiny not to.

== The Bullet Farmer ==
* All this for a family squabble. Healthy babies.
* ''[blind, waving two MP5 guns]'' I am the scales of justice! Conductor of the choir of death! Sing, Brother [[w:Heckler &amp; Koch|Heckler]]!  Sing, Brother Koch! ''[shooting blindly]'' Sing, Brothers! Sing! ''SINGGGG''!

== Others ==
* '''Ms. Giddy''': We are not things. We're not things!
* '''The Splendid Angharad''': Who killed the world?
* '''The People Eater''': We are down thirty thousand units of gasoline, nineteen canisters of nitro, twelve assault bikes, seven pursuit vehicles: the deficit mount and now sir, you have us stuck in a quagmire!
* '''Rictus Erectus''': I had a baby brother! I had a little baby brother! And he was perfect! Perfect in every way!
* '''The Dag''': ''[to Max]'' I thought you weren't insane anymore.
* '''The Dag''': ''[referring to Max]'' He's a crazy smeg who eats schlanger!
* '''Slit''': By my deeds I honour him, V8.
* '''Slit''': Mediocre Morsov! Mediocre!
* '''The Ace''' : Why can't you stop?

== Dialogue ==
:'''Nux''': Immortan! Immortan Joe! ''[Immortan Joe glances at Nux]'' Ah! He looked at me! He looked right at me!
:'''Slit''': He was staring at your Blood Bag!
:'''Nux''': He turned his head! He looked me straight in the eye!
:'''Slit''': He was scanning the horizon!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Nux''': He's gonna be so grateful! We could ask for anything. I want to drive the War Rig. What will you ask for?
:'''Max''': ''[rips jacket off Nux]'' That's ''my'' jacket.
:'''Nux''': Sure. I mean, you could ask for more than a jacket.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Splendid Angharad is grazed by a bullet fired by Max]''
:'''Imperator Furiousa''': How are you?
:'''The Splendid Angharad''': It hurts.
:'''Imperator Furiousa''': Out here, everything hurts. ''[Turns to the rest of the Five Wives]'' You wanna get through this? Do as I say. Now, pick up what you can, and run.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Imperator Furiousa''': Hey. What's your name?
:''[No response.]''
:'''Imperator Furiousa''': What do I call you?
:'''Max''': Does it matter?
:'''Imperator Furiousa''': Fine. When I yell &quot;fool,&quot; you drive out of here as fast as you can.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Nux''': Immortan, if I can get onto the rig, there's a way inside.
:'''Immortan Joe''': What is your name? 
:'''Nux''': It's Nux. I'll pike her in the spine, keep her breathing for you.
:'''Immortan Joe''': No. ''[gives Nux a revolver]'' Put a bullet in her skull. Stop the rig. Return my treasures to me and I myself will carry you to the gates of Valhalla.
:'''Nux''': Am I awaited?
:'''Immortan Joe''': ''[sprays Nux's mouth with chrome spray paint]'' You will ride eternal, shiny and chrome.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Nux''': Three times the gates were open to me.
:'''Capable''': What gates?
:'''Nux''': I was awaited in Valhalla. They were calling my name. I should be walking with the Immortan. McFeasting with the heroes for all time.
:'''Capable''': I'd say it was your manifest destiny not to.
:'''Nux''': I thought I was being spared for something great. I got to...drive a pursuit vehicle. For a while even Larry and Barry stop chewing on my windpipe.
:'''Capable''': Who're Larry and Barry?
:'''Nux''': ''[pointing to his tumors]'' My mates. Larry and Barry. If they don't get me, the Night Fevers will.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Nux''': There is high ground, just beyond that thing!
:'''Capable''': He means the tree.
:'''Nux''': Yeah. Tree!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Imperator Furiousa''': They are looking for hope.
:'''Max''': What about you?
:'''Imperator Furiousa''': Redemption.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Max proposes turning back and claiming the Citadel]''
:'''The Vuvalini''': What's there to find at the Citadel?
:'''Max''': Green.
:'''Toast''': And water. There's a ridiculous amount of clear water. And a lot of crops.
:'''The Dag''': It's got everything you need, as long as you're not afraid of heights.
:'''Keeper of the Seeds''': Where does the water come from?
:'''Toast''': ''[regarding Immortan Joe]'' He pumps it up from deep within the earth. He calls it &quot;Aqua Cola&quot; and claims it all for himself.
:'''The Dag''': And because he owns it, he owns all of us.
:'''Keeper of the Seeds''': I don't like him already.
:'''The Valkyrie''': It'll take two weeks to skirt the wall of mountains.
:'''Max''': No. I suggest we go back the same way we came. Through the canyon.
:'''Toast''': ''[after a pause]'' It's open - we know that, right? He brought all his war parties through.
:'''Max''': So we take the War Rig and charge it right through the middle of them. We can decouple the tanker at the pass, shut it off behind us.
:'''Keeper of the Seeds''': ''[she and the Dag make the same gesture]'' Kaboom!
:'''Imperator Furiosa''': And how exactly do we take the Citadel, assuming we're still alive by then?
:'''Toast''': If we can block the pass, it'll be easy. All that's left are his War Pups, and War Boys too sick to fight.
:'''Capable''': And we'll be with Nux. He's a War Boy. He'll be bringing us home, bringing back what's stolen, as he's meant to.
:''[Everyone turns to look at Nux]''
:'''Nux''': Yeah... feels like hope.
:'''Keeper of the Seeds''': I like this plan... we could start again, just like the old days! 
:'''Max''': Look, it'll be a hard day. ''[points to the horizon]'' But I guarantee you that a hundred and sixty days ride that way... there's nothing but salt. ''[points back]'' At least that way we might be able to... together... come across some kind of redemption.
:''[He holds out his hand. After a pause, Furiosa takes it and clasps tight]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[At night, a white dot falls from the sky]''
:'''Toast''': Look.
:'''V-Melita''': That's what you call a satellite.
:'''Toast''': Miss Giddy told us about those. They used to bounce messages across the earth.
:'''V-Melita''': Shows. Everyone in the old world had a show.
:'''Toast''': Do you think there's somebody still out there? Sending shows?
:'''V-Melita''': ''[Looking out across the empty desert]'' Who knows? Those are the plains of silence.

== About ''{{PAGENAME}}'' ==
* We were going to do an anime before it was delayed a second time when we were rained out of Australia. But because we were delayed that didn't happen, and so we've got that script, and we've got another one.
:* George Miller [http://blogs.indiewire.com/theplaylist/interview-mad-max-fury-road-director-george-miller-talks-dangerous-stunts-creating-backstories-slang-and-more-20150511]

== Taglines ==
* Only the mad survive.

* The Future Belongs to the Mad.

* What a lovely day.

== Cast ==
* [[Tom Hardy]] — [[w:Max Rockatansky|Max Rockatansky]]
* [[Charlize Theron]] — Imperator Furiosa
* [[w:Nicholas Hoult|Nicholas Hoult]] — Nux
* [[w:Hugh Keays-Byrne|Hugh Keays-Byrne]] — Immortan Joe
* [[w:Josh Helman|Josh Helman]] - Slit
* [[w:Nathan Jones (wrestler)|Nathan Jones]] - Rictus Erectus
* [[w:Zoë Kravitz|Zoë Kravitz]] - Toast the Knowing
* [[w:Rosie Huntington-Whiteley|Rosie Huntington-Whiteley]] - The Splendid Angharad
* [[w:Riley Keough|Riley Keough]] - Capable
* [[w:Abbey Lee Kershaw|Abbey Lee]] -  The Dag
* [[w:Courtney Eaton|Courtney Eaton]] - Cheedo the Fragile
* [[w:John Howard (Australian actor)|John Howard]] - The People Eater
* [[w:Richard Carter (actor)|Richard Carter]] - The Bullet Farmer
* [[w:iOTA (entertainer)|iOTA]] - The Doof Warrior
* [[w:Angus Sampson|Angus Sampson]] - The Organic Mechanic
* Jennifer Hagan - Miss Giddy
* [[w:Melissa Jaffer|Melissa Jeffer]] - Keeper of the Seeds
* [[w:Megan Gale|Megan Gale]] - The Valkyrie
* [[w:Gillian Jones|Gillian Jones]] - a Vuvalini
* [[w:Joy Smithers|Joy Smithers]] - a Vuvalini

== External Links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|1392190|Mad Max: Fury Road}}
* {{amg movie|503766}}

[[Category:2015 films]]
[[Category:Action films]]
[[Category:Science fiction films]]
[[Category:Australian films]]
[[Category:Post-apocalyptic films]]
[[Category:Road films]]
[[Category:Chase films]]
[[Category:Films set in deserts]]</text>
      <sha1>l7yk5gkx4sqmv4lkmrh8r2tjz2n7g9a</sha1>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Wikiquote:Quote of the day/June 3, 2015</title>
    <ns>4</ns>
    <id>175996</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158806</id>
      <parentid>3107004</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T11:07:20Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>CommonsDelinker</username>
        <id>13873</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Replacing Guerrilla_Warfare.jpg with [[File:Albert_Bierstadt_-_Guerrilla_Warfare.jpg]] (by [[:c:User:CommonsDelinker|CommonsDelinker]] because: [[:c:COM:FR|File renamed]]: [[:c:COM:FR#FR4|Criterion 4]] (harmonizing names of file set)).</comment>
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| align=center | [[File:Albert Bierstadt - Guerrilla Warfare.jpg|292px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Alexander Pope - Emblems of the Civil War - Google Art Project.jpg|292px]] 
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | {{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Monad.svg|11px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:First at Vicksburg.jpg|188px]]&lt;p&gt; There's nothing much I can tell you about this [[war]]. It's like all wars, I suppose. The undertakers are winning it. Oh, the [[politicians]] will talk a lot about the &quot;[[glory]]&quot; of it, and the old men'll talk about the &quot;[[need]]&quot; of it — the [[soldiers]], they just want to go [[home]].&lt;/p&gt;
| author = [[James Lee Barrett]] ~&lt;br /&gt; in &lt;br /&gt;~ ''[[Shenandoah (film)|Shenandoah]]''
}}[[File:Holding the Line at All Hazards by William Gilbert Gaul.jpg |188px]]
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | [[File:Winslow Homer - Defiance, Inviting a Shot before Petersburg.jpg|284px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:A Fateful Turn by Captain James Hope.jpg|284px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Henry Mosler - The Lost Cause.jpg|284px]]
|}</text>
      <sha1>n0rugz5ofan9hvjo2mtnpbzu7am6g8f</sha1>
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  <page>
    <title>The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius/Season 3</title>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-27T13:09:14Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>162.197.99.132</ip>
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      <comment>/* The League of Villains */</comment>
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      <text bytes="52569" xml:space="preserve">{{DISPLAYTITLE:''The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius''/Season 3}}
----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius/Season 1|1]] [[The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius/Season 2|2]] [[The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius/Season 3|3]] | [[The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius|'''Main''']]
----

'''''[[w:The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius|The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius]]''''' is a show that ran on Nickelodeon from 2002–2006. The show follows the life of genius kid Jimmy Neutron and his friends and family. It is also based on the 2001 CGI film ''[[Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius (film)|Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius]]''.

===''Attack of the Twonkies''===
:''[Sheen volunteers for the school chorus]''
:'''Sheen''': ''[singing badly]'' '''''HOME, HOME ON THE RANGE--'''''
:'''Principal Willoughby''': NEXT!!!
:'''Sheen''': Eh, pardon?
:'''Principal Willoughby''': Thank you. That's all I needed to hear.
:'''Sheen''': Well, I can't say I'm surprised. Now, let's talk rehearsal schedule, man. Tuesdays, I have my action figure support so that's no good for me. Mondays…
:'''Principal Willoughby''': Oh, dear. I better explain. Um, Sheen, amigo, I'm afraid you won't be joining the chorus.
:'''Sheen''': What?! You're rejecting me?!
:'''Principal Willoughby''': Now, now, now, don't take it personally. We needed an alto, and well, you're a… You're a…
:'''Miss Fowl''': You're a terrible singer!
:'''Principal Willoughby''': Miss Fowl! You see, Sheen, your voice… Um, how shall I put this?
:'''Miss Fowl''': Your voice scares small children!
:'''Principal Willoughby''': Miss Fowl, please! Look, Sheen, as chorus master, I know talent…
:'''Miss Fowl''': And that's what you have: no talent! ''[Principal Willougby is about to burst]'' I'm done.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Sheen volunteers again disguised a with a  mustache]''
:'''Sheen''': ''[singing badly]'' '''''HOME, HOME ON THE RANGE--'''''
:'''Principal Willoughby''': NEXT!!!
:'''Sheen''': Please let me in the chorus! ''[Miss Fowl rips Sheen's fake mustache off his face]'' My voice grows on you!
:'''Miss Fowl''': So do liver spots, but they don't make you look at them! ''[cracks up laughing]''
:'''Principal Willoughby''': Now, Miss Fowl, that's not funny. ''[begins laughing]'' Okay, that's a little funny, but you know…
:'''Sheen''': I've got half a mind to report you!
:'''Principal Willoughby''': Half a mind? No wonder you can't sing! ''[he and Miss Fowl burst out in laughter as Sheen storms out the auditorium]'' Oh, we are so fired. ''[Miss Fowl looks shocked]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cindy''': Your Twonkies attacked us in baby sized class!
:'''Libby''': They busted my boom box!
:'''Miss Fowl''': Those things are a menace!
:'''Nick''': Dude, my do is ruined!
:'''Butch''': Just when I was learning to love again!
:'''Jimmy''': Guys! This isn't the time for blame. If it were I'd be saying things like &quot;I tried to tell you&quot; and &quot;Why didn't you jerks listen to me?&quot; Now all your stories have a common theme.
:'''Carl''': Painful biting?
:'''Butch''': Massive blood loss?
:'''Jimmy''': No! ''Music!'' Harmonic patterns causes the Twonkies to morph into hostile beasts and attack the source of the sound. We've got to shut down ''all'' the music in town before the rest of the Twonkies hear.
:'''Libby''': You can't stop the music!
:'''Jimmy''': We've ''got'' to!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cindy''': STOP! DON'T SING!
:'''Principal Willoughby''': Miss Vortex, thank you for joining us, you're 10 minutes late!
:'''Cindy''': Fellow choristers, due to a dangerous situation too complicated to go into now, this rehearsal is cancelled. Now I know how painful this must be for all of you…
:''[The choristers cheer, and leave the stand]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': This isn't over, people! If we don't blast that monster back to the comet in the next ten minutes, he's stuck here for another year!
:'''Sam''': That's bad.
:'''Sheen''': I'll just sing to him every time he wakes up.
:'''Miss Fowl''': That's worse!
:'''Sam''': Yeah!

===''Lights! Camera! Danger!''===
:''[repeated line]''
:'''Quentin Smithee''': And action!
----
:'''Butch''': Mr. Smithee, uh…how do I start this thing?
:'''Quentin Smithee''': I have no idea. Just keep pushing buttons until something happens. And...
----
:'''Quentin Smithee''': ''[found out that Hugh sung the Donut Boy theme song in the alley]'' No. This is the scene where you ''[throws the box of donuts to the ground''] &lt;big&gt;get lost!&lt;/big&gt;

===''The N-Men''===
:''[Outer Space; Jimmy and the gang are flying back home to Earth in their Astrocar after playing mini golf on Mercury]''
:'''Sheen''': Engines down! Losing power! Abandon ship!
:'''Libby''': You're enjoyin' that massage chair a little too much.
:'''Sheen''': Set boosters on &quot;Lower back&quot;! Engage!
:'''Carl''': Thanks for taking us miniature golfing on Mercury, Jimmy. Hey, you want some of my extra orange juice my mom packed me?
:'''Jimmy''': Thanks, Carl… ''[gulps down the orange juice bottle]'' but we're not home yet. I still have to steer us past the Van Patten Radiation Belt.
:'''Cindy''': Ha! Neutron probably thought the low gravity would throw off my backswing. Wrong! As usual.
:'''Jimmy''': Hey, hey, how about instead of bragging, you thank me for inviting you along at all?!
:'''Cindy''': You're right, Jimmy. Thank you… ''[pause]'' for letting me kick your butt on the back nine!
:'''Jimmy''': What is your problem, Vortex?!
:'''Cindy''': I don't have a problem! What's your problem?!
:'''Jimmy''': Oh, I think you do have a problem! ''[arguing in unison]'' You know what the problem is?
:'''Cindy''': ''[arguing in unison]'' No, I'm not the one with the problem, Neutron!
:'''Carl''': ''[eating a sandwich while Jimmy and Cindy continue arguing]'' It's so hard to digest when they argue like that. ''[burps]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After passing through the Van Patten Radiation Belt and crash landing back home to Earth, Jimmy and his friends have discovered they've all gotten superpowers]''
:'''Jimmy''': I think I see what happened. You all got superpowers based on what you were doing when the Van Patten rays hit.
:'''Cindy''': And you just turned orange? How lame is that?
:'''Jimmy''': It's not lame! Maybe my cells store massive amounts of vitamin C or something.
:'''Carl''': ''[sniffs]'' Mmm. He does have a pleasing, fruity aroma.
:''[He, Cindy, and Libby laugh, making Jimmy cringe in anger]''
:'''Sheen''': Guys, get serious. We've all been endowed with incredible power. And I say we use that power ''to attack Tokyo!'' ''[runs to Tokyo and back]'' Guys, come on, pick up the pace.
:'''Jimmy''': Sheen's right! Except for the part about Tokyo-- we have been given incredible power. But we should use it to fight crime.
:'''Sheen''': Why didn't I think of that?
:'''Libby''': You mean… become superheroes?
:'''Cindy''': I hate to admit it, but that ''would'' be cool.
:'''Carl''': I can fight crime, but I have to be home by 5:30.
:'''Sheen''': Stack hands, everyone. We need to make a solemn vow.
:''[All stack hands]''
:'''Sheen''': Let those who do evil beware! From this day forth, we shall be known as: The Fantastic League of Justice-Bringing Avenging Men!
:'''Libby''': Excuse me?!
:'''Sheen''': And two girls.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Neutron lab; 3 days later]''
:'''Jimmy''': I know, Goddard, but I can't stop working. I'm still missing one last ingredient for my superpower antidote. If only this mutant gene wasn't so hard to crack. Maybe if I tried a submolecular scam. ''[Screen shows Fatal Gene countdown to six hours]'' No. It can't be! Their powers are burning up their metabolisms! Their life forces will be drained in ''six'' hours! ''[bangs on his keypad]'' GOTTA WORK FASTER! ''[accidentally spills some Purple Flurp on the keyboard]'' No, no, NO! Now I'll ''never'' find a cure in time! ''[becomes extremely livid while throwing a fit]'' Why do I even care?! All they did was mock me. ''[gets up from his seat]'' Especially Cindy! She makes me ''so'' angry! ''[furiously throws a binocular box off-screen, crashing it]'' If only I'd gotten a cool superpower too, then I'd make her pay! I'd make 'em ''ALL'' pay! (''camera zooms in on his eye'') ''[growls crossly]'' What's wrong with me?! (''eye color changes burnt green'') ''[voice deepens]'' Feeling strange. ''[starts transforming into his huge hulk-like form as Goddard watches in fear]'' Thoughts, cloudy. Image of Cindy burning in my brain!
:'''Hulk Jimmy''': ''[bursts out through the door of the clubhouse, roaring with rage]'' JIMMY ''DID'' GET SUPERPOWER! NOW JIMMY STRONG! NOW JIMMY '''''SMASH!!!'''''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Sam''': ''[throwing an apple at Hulk Jimmy]'' Take that you misterable mistake of nature, yeah! ''[throws another at him]''
:'''Judy''': No, don't! You're only making him angry!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cindy''': Carl, why haven't you tried to perfect your super belches?
:'''Carl''': I'm scared to, for my burps are ''way'' to dangerous.
:'''Sheen''': But Carl, your destructive potential is part of the reason we love you.
:'''Carl''': DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?! No more spice food or carbonated beverages! I've got to guard against even the slightest hiccup!
:'''Sheen''': You mean no more chalupas? I feel your pain, dude.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cindy''': Guys, I think that orange-rampaging monster is Neutron!
:'''Libby''': Those rays must've had some kind of delayed reaction on him.
:'''Carl''': We gotta do something. The army might really hurt him!
:'''Cindy''': All I did was make fun of him and, he still promised to help us. We have to help him!

===''The Tomorrow Boys''===
:'''Jimmy''': ''[as Future Jimmy opens the door]'' Hi, um, are you Jimmy Neutron?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Future Cindy''': NERDTRON! Nerdtron, what are you doing?! You're supposed to be soaking my mother's feet! And if it's not done every hour on the hour, she experiences severe flaking!!
:'''Future Jimmy''': Cindy, can you not call me Nerdtron? ''[scoffs]'' Now that we're married?
:''[The word &quot;married&quot; repeats itself, slowing down each time.]''
:'''Jimmy''': &lt;big&gt;'''''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…'''''&lt;/big&gt;''[commercial break, after which Jimmy is still screaming.]''&lt;big&gt;'''''…OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Carl''': Wow. You just screamed for four minutes, Jim.
:'''Sheen''': I'm both impressed ''and'' disturbed.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Future Carl''': Yeah. I remember the first time I saw Mrs. V's feet.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Carl''': Jimmy saved the future!
:'''Sheen''': That horrible dictator Libby will ''never'' plague us again! ''[they all look at Libby, whose looking super furious]'' Oh. Perhaps I'd better explain.
:'''Libby''': ''[enraged]'' You and your stupid robot broke my house!
:'''Sheen''': But…
:'''Libby''': Ruined my party and destroy my gifts!
:'''Sheen''': But… but…
:'''Libby''': '''GET OUT!!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Libby''': ''[to Sheen]'' Meet me at the Candy Bar, Sheen… ''[throws the door open, revealing his friends cleaning up; angrily]'' '''''AFTER YOU CLEAN MY HOUSE!'''''

===''Fundemonium''===
:'''Baby Quackers''': ''[repeated line]'' Gotta go potty! ''[puddle forms under her]'' Ooopsie!

===''Stranded''===
:'''Jimmy''': And I'm telling you that you can't see the equator!
:'''Cindy''': Just an unpopulated area like the Pacific Ocean!
:'''Jimmy''': WRONG! The equator's invisible and apparently so is your brain!
:'''Cindy''': Well, at least my head doesn't need no time zone!
:'''Jimmy''': Why'd you have to go there?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sheen''': Ah the sea, who's water grows our gardens, who's electric eels light our homes, who's jellyfish fill our jelly donuts.
:'''Libby''': Sheen, none of those things do any of those things.
:'''Sheen''': Hey! You try staying awake staring at a stupid ocean! ''(grumbling sound)''
:'''Libby''': What's that sound? Carl, you're supposed to watch our readings.
:'''Carl''': I'am. Their fine.
:'''Libby''': Well, what does the fuel gauge say?
:'''Carl''': It's fine. It's on &quot;E&quot; for….&quot;engored with gas&quot;…? ''(motor stops and hover car falling)'' 
:''(Everyone is screaming)''
:'''Libby''': Assume crash positions!
:'''Sheen''': If you say so… ''(Carl and Sheen making faces)''
:'''Libby''': You know what... just go back to the screaming. ''(Everyone screams again)'' 
:''(Hover car splash in the ocean)''
:'''Carl''': Is everybody okay?
:'''Sheen''': Well, I'am a little concerned that we're STRANDED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN!!!!
:'''Carl''': Calm down, Sheen.
:'''Sheen''': Don't tell me to calm down! This is all your fault! Anybody with a brian knows that &quot;E&quot; stands for... uh.... &quot;elp yourself to some gas&quot;!
:'''Carl''': Does not!
:'''Libby''': Guys!
:'''Sheen''': Does so!
:'''Libby''': Guys!
:'''Carl''': Does not!
:'''Sheen''': DOES SO!
:'''Libby''': GUYS! This isn't helping! Now we need to get through this, we just need a strategy.
:'''Carl''': Libby's right.
:'''Sheen''': Kiss up.
:'''Libby''': Now we're gonna need protein
:'''Sheen''': Right, let's cut to the chase: who's eating who?
:'''Carl''': Who's eating whom?
:'''Sheen''': That's it! I'm eating you!
:'''Carl''': Not if I eat you first!
:'''Sheen''': I'll eat you in your sleep!
:'''Carl''': Better not.
:'''Libby''': I'm gonna chow down on both of you if you don't keep QUIET!
:'''Carl''': She's right and at least we're in a boat, Jimmy and Cindy have been treading water for hours.
:'''Sheen''': Poor guys.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cindy''': You know, I hate to say it Jimmy, but aside from the man-eating plants, giant spiders, and vicious snakes, um… this isn't so bad.
:'''Jimmy''': It seems like if we stay out of the denser parts of the jungle, we should be fi… ''(record scratches)'' Did you just call me Jimmy?
:'''Cindy''': Well, that is your name…
:'''Jimmy''': I know. I just didn't know that you knew. I thought you thought it was &quot;Neutroid&quot;, or &quot;Speutron&quot;, or &quot;King Cranium&quot; or &quot;Frankenhead&quot;...
:'''Cindy''': I know, I know. Jimmy, why do you think we always fight back home?
:'''Jimmy:''' Oh, that's easy, because, well, uh... maybe because... uh... Huh... I don't remember.
:'''Cindy:''' I don't either. I mean, I know I'm not supposed to like you, but being here on this island away from school and grades and peer pressure, it makes me realize how ridiculous that is. You're a really cool person.
:'''Jimmy:''' R-really? ''[Cindy nods her head]'' I've sort of been thinking the same thing about you.
:'''Cindy''': Really? Jimmy, if I had to be stranded on a deserted island with anybody, I'm glad it's you.
:'''Jimmy:''' Me, too. Um, Cindy, if you're not doing anything tomorrow, well, do you think
you might want to... I don't know, hang out together?
:'''Cindy''': Hmm, I may have to move some appointments around, but what the heck, I accept.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Carl''': I was going to share, and I ate one, but it was so good, so I ate four and I…I…I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON!
:'''Sheen''': YOU GOT THAT RIGHT! ''(throws the chocolate away)'' GET HIS LEGS, LIBBY! ''(he grabs Carl)''
:'''Libby''': Sheen, you can't throw Carl overboard.
:'''Sheen''': ''(He halts)'' Why not?
:'''Libby''': Because he might have more FOOD ON HIM! ''(they start pulling Carl back in and they hear a horn blow)'' Guys, did you hear something?
:'''Carl''': It wasn't me.
:'''Libby''': ''(gasps)'' It's an ocean liner! Try to get their attention!
:'''Carl''': But they're so far away.
:'''Libby''': Jimmy must keep a flare in here look around! ''(saw an emergency button)'' I think this is it.
:'''Carl''': &quot;For emergencies only.&quot;
:'''Sheen''': THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! PUSH IT!
:''(A light points towards at the ship and explosion)''
:'''Passengers''': We're okay!
:'''Libby''': Um… maybe we should just keep this to ourselves.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sheen''': I won't give up! Did Lewis and Clark give up?! Did Charles Lindbergh give up?! Did Saul Hoffnitz give up?!
:'''Libby''': Who's Saul Hoffnitz?
:'''Sheen''': I give up. The point is I'm not going back to Retroville without Jimmy and Cindy! I'm gonna find them even if I HAVE TO TEAR OUT EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF EQUIPMENT IN HERE!!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': Finished, now put your fuel ingredients into the gas tank.
:''(Libby and Carl put all the ingredients into the gas tank, but Sheen pick up some strange rocks and put them into the gas tank)''
:'''Jimmy''': Sheen, what kind's of rocks are those?
:'''Sheen''': Well I didn't know what shale look like, but I found these cool rock deep in the jungle. Look!
:''(Sheen give the strange rock to Jimmy)''
:'''Jimmy''': These don't feel like rocks at all. they feel like…
:''(Libby screamed and they saw a giant spider attack the hover car and they all are hiding in the rock)''
:'''Cindy''': Jimmy, that's the spider that made the web we saw!
:'''Jimmy''': I think we put some of her eggs in the gas tank!
:'''Carl''': If it destroys the hover car, we'll be stranded here forev… ''(record stretches)''
:'''Sheen, Libby, and Carl''': Did she just call you Jimmy?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

===''Jimmy Goes to College''===
:'''Butch''': Big words: they hurt, they hurt!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Butch''': Big molecules: they hurt, they hurt!

===''Who's Your Mommy?''===
:'''Jimmy''': Welcome to Planet Schmangy! …Again.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': The strange appetite, the mood swings, the glowing buldges… Carl, I don't know how to say this, so I'll whisper it in Sheen's ear and he'll blurt it out in astonishment. ''[whispers to Sheen]''
:'''Sheen''': Carl is '''''PREGNANT?!'''''
:'''Carl''': ''[jumps in shock]'' What!?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': Good news, Carl. I have an idea how to solve this without harming you, or the creature, and, why are nodding no?
:'''Carl''': I thought about it, Jim. If it's a boy, I'll name him, Shmengo, and if it's a girl Shmengeta, I want to retain its alien heritage.
:'''Jimmy''': ''WHAT?!''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': Carl, why aren't you more worried? This thing might feed off your insides, or electrocute you, or grow until it splits you in half!
:'''Carl''': Yeah, kids can be a handful.

===''Clash of the Cousins''===
:''[Jimmy and his parents show up in the backyard of Aunt Kari's house for Great-Aunt Amanda's birthday with the rest of the Neutrons]''
:'''Jimmy''': ''[carrying her present]'' Happy Birthday, Great-Aunt Amanda! You're looking more beautiful and less wrinkly every year.
:'''Aunt Amanda''': No thanks you, young man, your gadgets and gewgaws have taken ten years off my life!
:'''Judy''': But, Aunt Amanda, how can you say that? Jimmy's gadgets have saved the town dozens of times.
:'''Aunt Kari''': Sure. After he brought down a giant meteor to destroy us all.
:'''Uncle Newt''': Or those evil rotting aliens.
:'''Cousin Annabelle''': OR PANTS! HORRIBLE WALKING PANTS!
:'''Cousin Gomer''': Which cousin are you again?
:'''Hugh''': Now, now, now. Newt, Kari, Cousin Gomer, Cousin Annabelle… ''[Baby Eddie babbles]'' and little Eddie, let's not fight. We're gathered together because we love our dear Aunt Amanda and not because her fabulous wealth controls our very destiny.
:'''Jimmy''': Yeah, can't we all just get along and be a family?
:'''Aunt Amanda''': NO! Because of you, the Neutron name isn't respectable anymore. Why can you be nice like your two young friends?
:'''Sheen''': Mmm! I've been waiting all year to eat Aunt Kari's salt patties.
:'''Carl''': And this 147 bean salad is the best one yet.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': Aunt Amanda! I'm so sorry! The spatula's battery must have overloaded!
:'''Aunt Amanda''': You little monster! I knew you couldn't be trusted!
:'''Jimmy''': It's not supposed to do that! I swear, it will never happen again!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': Guys, we have a situation. There is no reason those presents should have exploded. Someone bombarded the spatula with delta waves. Only a genius could come up with a plan like that. And the delta waves came from the backyard. Do you realize what that means?
:'''Sheen''': Uh, Jimmy, do you mind if we just keep eating?
:'''Jimmy''': It means that there's ''another'' genius in my family besides me. An &lt;u&gt;''evil''&lt;/u&gt; genius.
:'''Carl''': That's horrible! Hey, Sheen, are you gonna finish that death-by gelato?
:'''Jimmy''': Okay, stop eating.
:'''Sheen''': Sorry.
:'''Carl''': Sorry.
:'''Jimmy''': Goddard, isolate the Neutron genius gene. Now, compare the gene against DNA profiles of ''all'' adult family members. Hmm. The two most likely suspects would be…Cousin Gomer or Cousin Annabelle.
:'''Carl''': Okay, so what you're saying is that one of them must only be ''acting'' dumb.
:'''Sheen''': ''[belches]'' Or crazy.
:'''Jimmy''': We gotta find out which one before they make another attempt on my family's lives!
:'''Carl''': Right. To the buffet! What? I'm still hungry.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Carl''': Hey, Cousin Annabelle.
:'''Cousin Annabelle''': ''[screams]'' DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME! I HAVE SENSELESS PANIC ATTACK SYNDROME!
:'''Carl''': Uh, I'm allergic to wheat.
:'''Cousin Annabelle''': Oh, really? GO AWAY!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Baby Eddie''': ''[laughing wickedly]'' Haven't you figured it out yet, Jimmy?
:'''Jimmy''': ''[shocked]'' Cousin Eddie!
:'''Baby Eddie''': I had you barking up the wrong tree. You know, maybe you ain't as bright as everybody thinks.
:'''Jimmy''': How can I be so naive? I only checked the DNA of adult Neutrons. I never guessed that…
:'''Baby Eddie''': A baby could be as smart as you? Heck, I'm smarter. And, I'm only 17 1/2 months old. Wait till I hit puberty-- bah-bing!
:'''Sheen''': Why'd you do it, Cousin Eddie?! WHY?!?
:'''Jimmy''': For Aunt Amanda's money, Sheen.
:'''Baby Eddie''': Ding! We got a winner! Now, think fast, nimrods! ''[traps the boys and Cousin Gomer in his unbreakable fun rings]'' Don't waste your time. Nothing can escape my unbreakable fun rings.
:'''Jimmy''': You're a ''bad'' baby, Eddie, and you got a diaper full of evil!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': ''[facing Baby Eddie]'' Too bad you didn't know about Goddard's backup battery. It's all over, Eddie! Oh, you're going down, baby.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Aunt Amanda''': This is the child you raised?! A vicious, rotten baby mauler?!
:'''Jimmy''': It's not what you think, Aunt Amanda! Eddie's an evil genius! He was trying to blow everyone up so he could get your fortune!
:'''Baby Eddie''': Goo.
:'''Hugh''': He takes after &lt;u&gt;''her''&lt;/u&gt; side of the family! ''[points at Judy]''
:'''Judy''': Hugh!
:'''Hugh''': He may be adopted. It looks nothing like me.
:''[A high-pitched whirring sound is heard]''
:'''Aunt Kari''': Wait. There's that horrible noise again!
:'''Jimmy''': I know, Aunt Kari, I reset Eddie's rattle during our struggle. It's programmed to overload.
:''[The sound is shown coming from Baby Eddie's rattle]''
:'''Baby Eddie''': Oh, poopy! ''[throws his rattle into the air and it explodes]'' You broke my rattle! You dweeby, no-good, pointy-headed, weasel-faced freak! ''[The adult Neutrons are shocked at his true colors being revealed]'' Uh, I mean… Goo!
:'''Aunt Amanda''': That baby's a bad seed! [''to Jimmy''] It's Jimmy who's the good nephew!
:''[The other adult Neutrons cheer for Jimmy as Sheen, Carl, and Cousin Gomer exit the house]''
:'''Aunt Kari''': I'm so sorry little Eddie tried to destroy us all.
:'''Jimmy''': If I were you Aunt Kari, I'd keep him on a baby leash.
:'''Baby Eddie''': Oh, no, not the leash! I'll get you for this, Cousin Jimmy, you hear me?! This ain't finished, not by a long shot! Hey, where's my juicy cup? Where is the cup that I can spill without spilling?
:'''Jimmy''': Dad, our family is ''very'' weird.
:'''Hugh''': It sure is, son. It sure is.

===''My Big Fat Spy Wedding''===

===''Crouching Jimmy, Hidden Sheen''===
:'''Jimmy''': ''[in trying to find a way to help Sheen defeat a zealous karate practioner who wants to ursurp Sheen's position as &quot;The Chosen One&quot;]'' There's only one way to help Sheen train.
:'''Sheen''': ''[in front of a dojo]'' A tutor?
:'''Jimmy''': We have no other choice!
:'''Sheen''': Why don't you just make me take piano lessons while I'm at it?
:''[The Dojo head, Master Hong, answers the door]''
:'''Master Hong''': Yes?
:'''Jimmy''': Master Hong?
:'''Sheen''': Dude, aren't you a little old to teach kung-fu?
:'''Master Hong''': ''[calmly, holding out a pebble]'' Snatch this pebble from my hand.
:'''Sheen''': ''[sarcastically]'' Snatch the pebble… too easy! ''[gets slammed around by Master Hong]'' You're hired!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lead Shangri-Llama Monk''': ''[of Sheen]'' To the Chosen One! Long may he put his leg behind his head!

===''The Incredible Shrinking Town''===
:'''Sheen''': Aw, cheer up, Jimmy. Hey, after the game, you wanna come over to watch ''Wizard of Oz''? I love those little monkeys. ''[Jimmy glares at him]'' What? What'd I say? Man, you dinky guys are so touchy.
:'''Jimmy''': You guys have ''no'' idea what it's like to be the short guy. It's like…it's like…
:'''Sheen:''' Uh, you're not gonna sing, are you?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Sheen''': ''[Reading a message about the Vomitorium]'' Do not go on this ride if you have a bad back, bad neck, or hate puking.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Judy''': This is a nightmare. How am I going to clean this house if I'm six inches tall?
:'''Hugh''': I know, these are ''dark'' times, Sugarbooger. But look on the bright side. We finally got a jumbo-sized TV!
:''[Goddard flies into the living room]''
:'''Judy''': ''[to Jimmy; sharply]'' James Issac Neutron, are you responsible for this?
:'''Jimmy''': You know, Mom, we ''could'' waste precious time assigning blame.
:'''Judy''': ''[still sharped]'' Jimmy!
:'''Jimmy''': Kinda.
:'''Judy''': Hugh, speak to your son.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cindy''': Now, listen Neutron, you'd better…
:'''Carl''': ''[impersonating Mrs. Vortex's voice]'' Cynthia Vortex! Come over here and help your mother clean up Humphrey's extremely large poopy poo-poo!
:'''Cindy''': Oh, just make us big Neutron!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The space bandits have captured the citizens and are taking them on the McSpanky's ship.]''
:'''Cindy''': Well, we can all thank our favorite boy genius for getting us into mortal danger -- ''again!''
:'''Libby''': At least we can say we had an exciting childhood.
:'''Carl''': ''[sees the ship]'' Hey, look, it's the old McSpanky's burger joint that we used to work at till you shot it at the sun, Jimmy.
:'''Jimmy''': They've turned it into a spaceship.
:'''Sheen''': ''[opens a fake treasure chest]'' It's okay, our worries are over! We're rich!! ''[hugs it]''
:''[Jimmy rolls his eyes]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cindy''': Whoa, whoa, whoa. Time out! May I just remind everybody, this was ALL Neutron's fault?!

===''One of Us''===
:'''Jimmy''': ''(narrating)'' There we were, running for our lives from our best friends and family. How did this happen? It all began on a normal day at school.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': Libby, did you just turn some music off?
:'''Libby''': ''[turns slowly to Jimmy; also smiling]'' Hello Jimmy, I'm happy to see you. Did you watch &quot;The Happy Show Show&quot; last night?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Sheen''': Hi, Jimmy. You watched &quot;The Happy Show Show?&quot;
:'''Jimmy''': Yes, and it was the worst show ever! It was obnoxious, idiotic, silly, infantile, inane, vapid… Shall I go on?
:'''Libby''': You need to watch it again.
:'''Jimmy''': ''Again?!'' I could barely watch the first 30 seconds! I thought my TV would explode! I thought I might faint from the fumes of the show's supreme stinkiness!
:'''Carl''': You should give it another chance.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': ''[narrating]'' The show was hypnotizing people and turning them into mindless zombies! It didn't effect me because I was only watching the reflection. ''[bursts the door open and enters]'' Betty, snap out of it! You've been hypnotized! Stop watching the TV!
:'''Betty''': But I must watch, and you must watch, too.
:'''Jimmy''': ''[runs away, screaming as he makes it back to his house]'' Mom, Dad, we've gotta call someone! There's a TV show that's turning everyone into… ''[enters the living room, only to see his parents being hypnotized too]''
:'''Judy and Hugh''': Hello, Jimmy, we're happy to see you.
:'''Jimmy''': You too?
:'''Judy''': Come sit here and we'll be happy together.
:'''Jimmy''': ''[quickly runs out of the house]'' '''''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!'''''
:'''Judy''': Shall we chase him?
:'''Hugh''': Nothing would make me happier.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': Grandma Taters, I presume!
:'''Grandma Taters''': Well, hello, honey, come on in. Would you like some hard candy?
:'''Jimmy''': I know what you're up to, lady.
:'''Grandma Taters''': ''[pinches Jimmy's cheek]'' Well, aren't you a smart little boy?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Grandma Taters''': Restraints!
:'''Jimmy''': Mom, Dad, you can't do this to me!
:'''Judy''': Oh, we're happy to do it.
:'''Hugh''': I positively ecstatic.
:'''Jimmy''': But you're not supposed to be happy all the time! You have to be sad sometimes!
:'''Hugh''': Happily, that's no longer true.
:'''Jimmy''': But don't you see? Grandma Taters' show has stolen your emotions and caused you to lose your humanity! Soon, the whole world will be pack of soulless, mindless zombies!
:'''Sheen''': Wondering if I care…still wondering… NOPE!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Grandma Taters''': I'm sorry, girls. I failed.
:'''Grandma Clones''': That's alright, honey. Come in for some muffins. And bran juice.

===''Vanishing Act''===

===''The Trouble with Clones''===
:'''Evil Jimmy''': ''[hijacking into the communication satellite phone in Earth's orbit, making prank calls]'' Yeah, hi, is the U.N. Security Council? I'm looking for Ambassador Shake My Booty, first name Ivanna.
:'''Man''': Hold on. Guys! Ivanna Shake My Booty. You heard me: Ivanna Shake My Booty!
:''[Laughter is heard through the phone]''
:'''Evil Jimmy''': ''[laughing evilly]'' Oh, mercy!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Evil Jimmy''': I hate that little dweeb.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Evil Jimmy''': While the dork's away, the clones will play, eh, pooch?
:''[Goddard whimpers and nods yes]''
:'''Jimmy''': You're in big trouble, clone! Step away from that duplicator!
:'''Evil Jimmy''': Sorry, no can do, bro. This goodie-two-shoes town of yours ain't big enough for the both of us.
:'''Jimmy''': Wait-- you don't know how dangerous that thing is!
:'''Evil Jimmy''': Oh, I think I do. ''[starts up his rocket and flies away]'' Hasta la vista, big-head!
:'''Jimmy''': Don't worry, Goddard. He forgot about ''my'' rocket. ''[jumps in his rocket but as he starts it up, the engine is clogged up by a watermelon]'' I really hate that clone.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Hugh''': Hi, Jim-Jam, gettin' ready to visit that new planet in the sky?
:'''Jimmy''': New planet? What new planet? ''[Hugh points to the planet in the sky; gasps]''
:'''Hugh''': Sure is pretty. In a creepy, steaming kind of way.
:'''Jimmy''': Goddard, deploy telescope. ''[Goddard analyzes the planet to be a cloned Earth; horrified]'' Oh, no-- he's cloned another Earth! My evil clone must've used the Flux Field to clone a duplicate Earth.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': Leaping leptons! Evil Jimmy somehow made his cloned Earth just as evil as he is. Better blend in. ''[makes his hair and eyebrows to look like his evil clone]'' Oh, yeah, I'm evil. Oh, yeah, I'm bad.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Evil Health Inspector''': Well, this place is unsafe, unsanitary, and crawling with vermins. Congratulations. You passed your health inspection.
:'''Evil Sam''': I am to displeased, yeah!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Evil Miss Fowl''': Take your seats, maggots. Evil Cindy and Evil Libby will now give a presentation on wedgies.
:'''Evil Cindy''': Thank you, ugly. Class, nothing hurts like a wedgie, and yet few people understand the proper technique.
:'''Evil Libby''': May we have a volunteer, ''NICK?!''
:'''Evil Nick''': No, you can't! ''[as Evil Butch pulls him out of his desk seat and shoves him to the girls]'' I'll get you for this!
:'''Evil Libby''': Assume to position!
:'''Evil Cindy''': Simply reach, grab, and give a forceful 90-degree tug. ''[pulls Evil Nick's underwear harder as he screams in pain]''
:'''Evil Libby''': Note the beads of pain-induced sweat.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Evil Miss Fowl''': After him! Fly, my pretties, FLY!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Evil Judy''': Hello, sweetie, home so soon? ''[cutting roses into a bucket]'' I'm just dirtying up the house before dinner.
:'''Evil Hugh''': We're having duck again. I must have bagged over 87 bubbleheads this morning. Oh, they quacked for mercy, but I just laughed and laughed. ''[he and Evil Judy both start laughing evilly]''
:'''Jimmy''': This is going to scar me for life. Mom, Dad, I know helping is good, and I know that you're evil, but I'm still your son, right?
:'''Evil Hugh''': Yep-a-roonie, ''[combs Jimmy's hair to his normal style]'' our very, very good son.
:'''Evil Judy''': Our evil son has ordered us to capture you for experimentation. ''[presses a button on a remote, letting a cage fall in on Jimmy, trapping him]''
:'''Evil Jimmy''': ''[appearing]'' Well, well, well, if it isn't the wimpy dip-headed freak. Hey, nice of you to drop by. I see you met the folks.
:''[They all chuckle evilly; Later, Evil Jimmy escorts Jimmy to his lab with Evil Goddard behind, pointing his gun at him]''
:'''Evil Jimmy''': So, what do you think of my little world, doc?
:'''Jimmy''': It's sick twisted and smells like old socks! How'd you make this duplicate Earth evil?!
:'''Evil Jimmy''': With a dark matter power chip. Yeah, I know, feel free to applaud.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Hugh''': Ah, goodbye mild backache. ''[the world returns to normal and falls to the ground]'' Hello, blindingly, painful backache.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': Clone, no! If you break that chip, the whole planet will get sucked into the dark-matter dimension!
:'''Evil Jimmy''': And you'll be trapped with us! ''[breaks the chip into two pieces]'' Catch you on the flip side, wimpy dip!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': At least my evil clone is gone for good. No one has ever come back from my dark-matter dimension.
:'''Evil Jimmy''': ''[chuckles]'' You're not gonna get away with this, wimpy dip! You can't keep that an evil clone down! I'll be back! ''[laughs evilly]''

===''Who Framed Jimmy Neutron?''===
===''Flippy''===
===''El Magnifico''===
===''Best in Show''===
:'''Jimmy''': Goddard? ''[finds Goddard's note next to him in his bed]'' He left me a note in binary code. Better translate. ''[gets up from his bed and inserts the note into his computer]'' '''&quot;Dear Master; Sorry I let you down. You'd be better off with a real dog like everyone says. Your ex-pet, Goddard.&quot;''' He ran away!

===''King of Mars''===
:'''Libby''': Wow, the universe is so vast and intricate. I'm bored.
:'''Cindy''': Hmm, Libs, keep an eye on Mars for me. It's been acting weird all night.
:'''Libby''': ''[sniffing]'' Is that… Eau d'Amino Acid? Girl, you brought us here so you could flirt with Jimmy.
:'''Cindy''': Did not! I'm here because Jimmy values my scientific input.
:'''Libby''': Why don't those two just get a lab?
:'''Cindy''': Hey, Neutron, have you checked out Mars?
:'''Jimmy''': Huh? Mars is old news. I'm spotting comets.
:'''Cindy''': But it's been showing huge fluctuations in brightness. Definitely worth a good long look.
:'''Jimmy''': What's that bewitching scent?
:'''Cindy''': You mean my perfume? I just splashed this on when I don't care what I smell like.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cindy''': When a colleague suggests that you look at Mars, it's polite to look at Mars!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Eustace''': Hello, Neutron!
:'''Libby''': ''[to Cindy]'' It's that spoiled rich kid who has it in for Jimmy!
:'''Jimmy''': Eustace Strych. I thought you were grounded for life.
:'''Eustace''': Yes, well, my daddy's will is easily manipulated. So, Jimmy, did you forget that I'd sworn everlasting vengeance against you?
:'''Jimmy''': Hmm, it sort of slipped my mind because I have a life, you loser!
:'''Eustace''': Don't get saucy with me.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cindy''': Well, it's your fault! ''[points to Jimmy]''
:'''Jimmy''': What?!
:'''Cindy''': Oh, don't act dumb! At least Eustace treated me like an equal. You act like I don't even exist!
:'''Jimmy''': You are so clueless, Vortex!  Of course I know you exist, that’s why I pretend to ignore you!

===''How to Sink a Sub''===
:'''Principal Willoughby''': Heavens to Harvey Fierstein! This isn't the Pomona bypass.
:'''Coach Grubber''': Willoughby, you dink! I told you turn left at the Pants Outlet!
:'''Hilgo''': I'm frightened and nauseated. Where are we?
:'''Miss Fowl''': We're in hyperspace, where no teacher has gone before. I've got a good idea who's responsible for this!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': Spread the word, people! School's out!
:''[they throw a party]''
:'''Sheen''': I'm the king of the world! [''gets hit'']
:'''Jimmy''': [''flying around the hallway with a rocket board''] Coming through, watch it! [''his rocket board gets magnitized''] Hey, what's wrong with my rocket board?! [''screams as he's pulled by his displeased mother; shocked''] Mom?!
:'''Judy''': You are ''so'' grounded, mister!
:'''Hugh''': [''pops out of a trash can''] She's right, Jimbo. I'm afraid your senseless reign of carnage is over.
:'''Carl''': Hi, Jimmy. You said to spread the word, so I told our parents.
:'''Judy''': You bring your teachers back, this instant.
:'''Jimmy''': I can't! They're programmed to come back in a week.
:'''Mr. Estevez''': Then, we'll have to round these children up ourselves. Kids? Oh, kids!
:'''Mrs. Wheezer''': Allow me, hon. ''[loudly]'' '''QUIET!'''
:''[The students all stop partying]''
:'''Judy''': Children, please go to your classrooms. Until Miss Fowl and the others return, we parents will be filling in as substitute teachers.
:''[The students all groan and complain in dismay]''
:'''Jimmy''': ''[speechless]'' Substitute teachers?
:'''Mr. Wheezer''': Good idea, Judy. The kids shouldn't miss one precious day of education.
:'''Jimmy''': Mom, Dad, you can't do this! It'll be totally embarrassing!
:'''Hugh''': Don't be silly, Jimbo. Your mother would never dream of embarrassing you.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mrs. Wheezer''': What's wrong, Carl? Is my seven-layer soy mulch too tough? Let Mommy pre-chew it for you.
:'''Carl''': Mmm! ''[sees Jimmy and Sheen reacting with disgust]'' I mean, gross!
:'''Mrs. Wheezer''': You boys enjoy!
:'''Jimmy''': I can't take it anymore! I actually wish we had our old teachers back!
:'''Carl''': Are you gonna finish your soy mulch?
:'''Jimmy''': Parents want to be substitute teachers, huh? Well, I say, it's time to ''sink'' some subs.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Sheen''': Dad, I'm warning you! Behave yourself!
:'''Mr. Estevez''': ''[riding on a motorcycle with Mrs. Wheezer holding on]'' You can't tell me what to do!
:'''Mrs. Wheezer''': Stop trying to ruin my life!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Miss Fowl''': Double time, Neutron!

===''Lady Sings The News''===
:''[Everyone walks away, and Jimmy kisses Cindy.]''
:'''Carl''': Hey, Guys! Okay, you're coming back right? Right? Guys! My scapula!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Butch''': &quot;Jimmy and Cindy sitting in a--&quot;
:''[Cindy forcefully punches him squarely in the stomach.]''
:'''Butch''': ''[panting on the floor]'' &quot;…..tree.&quot;

===''The League of Villains''===
:''[Aboard the giant Yolkian chicken ship, King Goobot has gathered every villain Jimmy has defeated together for the first League of Villains meeting]''
:'''King Goobot''': Welcome, fellow villains. I believe introductions are in order. I am King Goobot of Yolkus, and this is my assistant, Ooblar. Oh! Oopsy! ''[chuckles]'' I forgot-- I traded Ooblar to the Bulgosians for some sulfur butter.
:'''Beautiful Gorgeous''': I'm Beautiful Gorgeous, and I broke out of prison for this, so it better be good. ''[to her father]'' Pop.
:'''Professor Calamitous''': Professor Finbarr Calamitous. I recently escaped, too. I used a…well, not a chisel, exactly, more of a long thingy with, uh, sort of forky prongs…
:'''Baby Eddie''': ''[annoyed]'' Tick-tock, baldy! Let's move on! I'm Baby Eddie. Yeah, I'm a baby-- deal with it.
:'''The Junkman''': The Junkman, purveyor of fine refuse products throughout the galaxy. You trash it, I cash it.
:'''Grandma Taters''': I'm Grandma Taters, and I'm so happy to be here! Let's all sing &quot;The Happy Song.&quot; ''[takes out her guitar and starts singing]'' ♪ Happy, happy, happy, happy… ♪
:'''Zix''': ''[whistles]'' That'll do, ancient one. We're the space bandits of the Dimdar Galaxy. I'm Zix, and this is Travoltron and Tee.
:'''Tee''': Why can't I introduce myself?!
:'''Travoltron''': 'Cause he already introduced you, bonehead.
:'''Tee''': You calling me a bonehead?! How'd you like to be a no-head?!
:'''Eustace''': If you gill breathers are done, I am Eustace Strych, and I could buy and sell you all!
:'''The Junkman''': Make me an offer.
:'''King Goobot''': Gentlemen, ladies, settle! I've called you here for a reason.
:'''Zix''': Hold on, Goobot, this was supposed to be a discussion. How come ''you're'' calling the shots?
:'''King Goobot''': Mmm, perhaps it's because I'm a king and you're all…oh, how do I put this? ''NOT'' KINGS!
:'''Tee''': You said we'd talk about the villain's role in society. I got stuff to say!
:'''Beautiful Gorgeous''': Our first order of business should be to give this guy a bath. He smells as bad as he looks.
:'''The Junkman''': Watch it, toots!
:'''King Goobot''': Silence! My friends, we share a common enemy, an enemy who must be stopped! Evil brothers and sisters, we are gathered here to plan the elimination of… JIMMY NEUTRON!
:''[The villains cheer and the screen monitor elevates down, showing footage of Jimmy defeating them throughout the series]''
:'''The Junkman''': Crush that little pip-squeak!
:'''King Goobot''': For years, that pesky little genius has defeated us, humiliated us, and almost destroyed us! None of us have been able to conquer Jimmy on our own, but if we band together, we can wipe him off the face of galaxy and let evil triumph!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cindy''': Hey, what's this, Nerdtron?
:'''Jimmy''': Don't go near that!
:'''Cindy''': Okay. Jeez, it's just a bunch of stupid envelopes.
:'''Jimmy''': Hardly-- this ''is'' an isolation chamber for ultra-dangerous substances.
:'''Cindy''': Ooh, scary envelopes. I'm shaking. ''[she and Libby both laugh]''
:'''Jimmy''': I'm serious! Oh, and what part of &quot;Girls stay behind the yellow line&quot; did you not understand?! Perhaps you recall Love Potion 976/J?
:'''Carl''': Oh, I do. It made you fall in love with the first person you saw. Sheen fell for Libby, Jimmy fell for Cindy, and I fell in love with the most beautiful woman in the… ''[gasps]'' Nothing.
:'''Jimmy''': And these are essence of N-Men. I synthesized them from your DNA after we achieved superpowers. Ingesting your packet will give you your powers back for 30 minutes.
:'''Libby''': Ooh, I want to be invisible again!
:'''Cindy''': I want to be Special Girl for my karate competition this weekend!
:'''Sheen''': I want to be Vibrating Sheen, so I can go to the bathroom all over the world!
:'''Jimmy''': No! Don't you guys remember what happened last time we were the N-Men?
:'''Cindy''': Yes.
:'''Libby''': Yes.
:'''Carl''': Yes.
:'''Sheen''': So, what if I don't? A lot's happened since then.
:'''Jimmy''': You couldn't control your powers. You got so out of control the town locked you up.
:'''Cindy''': Excuse me, wasn't there also a big orange monster who went crazy and almost destroyed Retroville? Oh, that's right-- it was you!
:'''Jimmy''': The point is, no one touches these unless there's an extreme emergency. I'm talking life-or-death situation, understand?
:'''Libby''': But, Jimmy, we won't go crazy like we did last time.
:'''Sheen''': Yeah, we're older and wiser-er.
:'''Cindy''': We've changed.
:'''Jimmy''': People ''don't'' change. Your personality is imprinted on your brain from birth-- look it up.
:'''Sheen''': Friends, friends, let us not fight. We'll just agree to disagree. And then we'll break out the N-Men packets and have some fun!
:'''Jimmy''': Hmm, let me think. NO!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''King Goobot''': In order to abduct Jimmy Neutron, you'll be split into teams. First team: Baby Eddie and Grandma Taters.
:'''Grandma Taters''': Ooh, we're going to have such a good time!
:'''Baby Eddie''': I've got to be with the old broad? This stinks!
:'''Grandma Taters''': ''[sweetly]'' I could just eat you up… ''[menacingly in her true self]'' and maybe I will!
:'''King Goobot''': Team two: Beautiful Gorgeous and the Junkman.
:'''The Junkman''': Yuck!
:'''Beautiful Gorgeous''': The feeling is mutual.
:'''Baby Eddie''': Hey, Junkster, I'll trade you Wrinkles for Dollface.
:'''King Goobot''': No trading! Team three: Eustace Strych and Professor Calamitous.
:'''Eustace''': What?! The guy who can't complete a sentence?! I can't work with that fool.
:'''Professor Calamitous''': Watch your tongue, sonny, or I'll… I'll… well, I'll…
:'''Eustace''': Yes, fine, get back to me on that before I go to college!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Aboard The Junkman's ship, the villains circle around Jimmy as he wakes up]''
:'''Jimmy''': ''[gasps in horror]'' King Goobot, Baby Eddie, Grandma Taters, The Junkman, Eustace, Professor Calamitous, Beautiful Gorgeous, Zix, Travoltron, and Tee!
:'''Tee''': How come he said my name last?!
:'''King Goobot''': Hello, Jimmy. We were just in the neighborhood and thought we'd drop by. Care to go for a little ride? It will be your ''LAST!''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The League of Villains put Jimmy on trial]''
:'''King Goobot''': Quiet! Quiet, I say! Quiet. Court is in session. The League of Villains vs. Jimmy Neutron. King Goobot presiding.
:'''Jimmy''': Wait-- you're putting me on trial?!
:'''King Goobot''': Of course! We're doing things by the book.
:'''Jimmy''': What book?
:'''King Goobot''': &quot;The Big Book of Sham Trials.&quot; Be seated, jury.
:'''Beautiful Gorgeous''': Do I have to sit next to stink boy here? I'm gonna throw up.
:'''Professor Calamitous''': He can't smell any worse than this baby.
:'''Baby Eddie''': Hey, I'm a baby. Babies poop! What? You didn't poop when you were a baby?
:'''King Goobot''': Order! Order! Bailiff, control the jury.
:'''Tee''': Man, why do I got to be the bailiff? I want to be on the jury!
:'''Beautiful Gorgeous''': Too late. We already voted.
:'''Tee''': How come I didn't get a vote?
:'''Villains''': 'Cause you're not on the jury. ''[laughing]''
:'''King Goobot''': Order! Order, I say! James Isaac Neutron, you are charged with blocking the spread of evil, ruining diabolical plans and being an annoying pest. How do you plead?
:'''Jimmy''': Well, first I have to say…
:'''King Goobot''': Time's up. Thank you. The jury will now read the verdict.
:'''Jimmy''': I didn't even get to defend myself!
:'''King Goobot''': Hello! This is a League of Villains. What did you expect? Jury, how do you find the defendant?
:'''Villains''': Guilty!
:'''Jimmy''': What a shock.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''King Goobot''': Jimmy Neutron's sentence has been decided. We shall blast him and his annoying sidekick into deep space!
:'''The Junkman''': I still say we should eat him!
:'''Beautiful Gorgeous''': Mr. Noxious, wouldn't you mind staying a minimum of 20 feet away from me so that I don't get nauseous?
:'''The Junkman''': Gladly.
:'''Baby Eddie''': Hey, Gorgeous, after this is all over, you want to grab dinner and a movie?
:'''Beautiful Gorgeous''': Buzz off, baby.
:''[Baby Eddie blows raspberry at her in return]''
:'''Eustace''': Can we wrap this up? I have a polo lesson in two hours.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': I should be able to get us back to Retroville at light speed. Look for some sort of transmitter so I can contact Carl.
:'''Sheen''': I don't think that's necessary.
:'''Jimmy''': Why not?
:'''Sheen''': They're right there.
:'''Jimmy''': What?!
:'''Sheen''': That's them, all right. Carl's talking, Libby's drying her eyes, and Cindy's driving.
:'''Jimmy''': This is terrible! They're heading to save us and we're heading back to… ''[realizes; enraged]'' CINDY'S DRIVING MY ROCKET?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mrs. Vortex''': I demand to know how this happened!
:'''Hugh''': Well, Judy was tinkering with Jimmy's stuff. I'd ask her.
:'''Judy''': ''[annoyingly miffed]'' Oh, really?! Well, Mr. Let's-Push-All-the-Buttons…
:'''Hugh''': Now, honey, name calling won't solve this mess you got us in. Besides, we may be here for a while. Look, some people seem to be adapting.
:'''Miss Fowl''': School is in session. Today's lesson is how to not get eaten by a giant fire ant. ''[squawks]''
:'''Butch''': Miss Fowl, a raptor ate my homework.
:'''Man''': So, what do you got, Sam?
:'''Sam''': Rock burgers, rock dogs and rock lobster with a side of rocks.
:'''Man''': I'll just have soup.
:'''Sam''': One hot water! Hold the rocks!
:'''Judy''': Well, I guess we could live here. I could make curtains and paint the walls with some berry juice.
:'''Hugh''': Now, that's the spirit, Sugar. Maybe it will distract you from thinking about our missing Jimbo.
:'''Judy''': ''[weeping]'' My baby!
:'''Hugh''': Oopsy. There, Sugarbooger. Remember, we're in the Cretaceous Era. We've got millions of years to come up with a plan to save him.
:'''Judy''': Hugh, are you aware that most of the things you say make no sense?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cindy''': Neutron, what's going on? Who's after you?
:'''Jimmy''': Every villain I've ever defeated has banded together to get rid of me for good!
:'''Sheen''': Well, maybe if you'd gone along with my plan to come rescue you…
:'''Jimmy''': What plan?!
:'''Sheen''': Oh, right.
:'''Jimmy''': Almost there!
:''[The League of Villains block their way]''
:'''Carl''': Bad people! Lots of bad people!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[As Carl, Sheen, Cindy, and Libby drink their N-Men packets, except for Jimmy, whose gotten the love potion instead, Carl confusingly mixes up the packets]''
:'''Jimmy''': You took all the wrong packets!
:'''Cindy''': We were ''given'' the wrong packets!
:'''Jimmy''': Sheen, you have super strength! Sock somebody!
:''[Sheen starts charging towards the Junkman to punch him, but misses]''
:'''Libby''': Carl, you're in big trouble! ''[punches Carl in the gut, whose invisible]''
:'''Carl''': Ow! I'm right next to you!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Jimmy blow-sprays the love potion on The Junkman and Beautiful Gorgeous, making them in love with each other]''
:'''The Junkman''': You're beautiful!
:'''Beautiful Gorgeous''': Kiss me, you fool!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': Gotta hide somewhere so the villains don't find us.
:'''Libby''': There's the moon-- we can hide there!
:'''Jimmy''': Good idea.
:'''Brobot''': Hi, Jimmy! I missed you! Want to play a game? I can make moon castles! Want to hear a song I wrote? It's called, &quot;I Love Jimmy.&quot; ♪ I love Jimmy, I love Jimmy, I love Jimmy, I love Jimmy… ♪
:'''Jimmy''': I'd rather take my chances with the villains.
:'''Sheen''': Good call.
:'''Cindy''': Agreed.
:'''Carl''': Can't blame you.
:'''Libby''': Word.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Grandma Taters''': I'm going to take a little nappy. ''[snores loudly]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cindy''': Uh, Neutron? We wanted Retroville, not Jungleville.
:'''Sheen''': I think the gardeners went on strike.
:'''Sam''': ''[while being chased by a raptor]'' HELP! Yeah, yeah. HELP!
:'''Miss Fowl''': ''[while being chased by a giant black snake]'' Bad snake! Bad snake!
:'''Jimmy''': This ''is'' Retroville. Based on the flora and fauna, I'd say that wormhole transported the town 75 million years in the past.
:'''Sheen''': Awesome! Now I don't have to go to the dentist on Thursday!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Sam''': I just saw an egg, a baby, a granny, a rich kid, and two lizard guys-- yeah.
:'''Sheen''': Oh, wait, wait-- I know this joke!
:'''Cindy''': It's not a joke, you nimrod! It's the League of Villains!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cindy''': I'd like to see Betty Quinlan do that!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cindy''': So, what'll happen to Goobot and the other villains?
:'''Jimmy''': I programmed the force field to wear off after a few minutes. I'm guessing the League of Villains will have their hands full for quite a while.

==External links==
* {{imdb title|ch0033574|The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius}}
* [http://www.nick.com/all_nick/tv_supersites/display_show.jhtml?show_id=jim Jimmy Neutron at Nick.com]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius, The}}
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    <title>Guy P. Harrison</title>
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      <text bytes="29664" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Guy P Harrison, author.jpg|thumb|right|Guy P. Harrison]]
'''[[w:Guy P. Harrison|Guy P. Harrison]]''' (born October 8, 1963) is an American author of multiple bestselling books. He resides in the United States and is known for his written works on science, critical thinking, anthropology, history, race, and nature.

{{author-stub}}
== Quotes ==

* “Find joy in existence. We live in good times. Now is somewhere between the beginning and the end of everything.  . . . Collectively and individually, we must never stop exploring, imagining, experimenting, learning, and solving problems. This should not be difficult for any of us, because it is only human to do these things. This is who we are. It was the way of those remarkable Africans not so long ago in prehistory, and it can be your way now. The closer you look, the more you will see. The more you learn, the more alive and awake you will become.” 
'''''At Least Know This: Essential Science to Enhance Your Life''''' (Prometheus Books, 2018)


* &quot;We all believe silly things. What matters is how silly and how many.&quot; 
'''''50 Popular Beliefs That People Think are True''''' (Prometheus Books, 2012)


* “We do not see the world. We watch internal movies about the world.&quot;  
'''“What Everyone Needs to Understand About Human Vision” ''Psychology Today''''' (October 16, 2021)


* “You are not the sum of your     Google searches, Amazon purchases, and Facebook likes. Your online activities should not define you as a person. But, increasingly, they do.”
'''''Think Before You Like: Social Media's Effect on the Brain and the Tools You Need to Navigate Your Newsfeed''''' (Prometheus Books, 2017)


* “The basic understanding of evolution that I carry around in my head enhances my life. I’ve done night dives in the Caribbean, 130 feet down, and there were moments when I might have felt like an astronaut visiting some alien planet filled with exotic life. But I knew better. I was home and all the weird and wonderful lifeforms around me were family. The magnificence and importance of nature are clarified and amplified in light of the awareness of shared ancestors and a common origin. I understand that I’m inside the big beautiful blur of life that surrounds our world. And that makes the ride even more amazing.” 
''''' “Seeking a Rational View of Life on Earth”, Darwin Day lecture to the Prairie State Humanists, February 09, 2022'''''


* “Museums matter because they are invaluable points of collection and contemplation for a species with a complicated past and self-awareness issues. Somewhere in their wonderful mix of beauty, fact, fiction, lies, and error we discover crucial truths about us.”  
'''“Imagine a World Without Museums”, ''Psychology Today''''' (July 3, 2021)


* “Humility is the key. If you are an arrogant, condescending skeptic then you are doing it wrong. Science and critical thinking rest upon a premise that says anyone can be wrong about anything. A good thinker is humble. We also must be mindful of the fact that very intelligent people can hold very dumb beliefs. It’s a human condition. Irrational believers are not inferior people; they simply made a misstep somewhere along the way in their thinking.”
'''“An Interview with Guy Harrison,” by Alejandro Borgo, ''Skeptical Inquirer''''' (November 10, 2017)  


* “Racism is an avoidable culture clash masquerading as inescapable biological warfare.”   
'''''At Least Know This: Essential Science to Enhance Your Life''''' (Prometheus Books, 2018)


* &quot;This is not how the 21st century was supposed to be going for us. As a child nurtured on ''Star Trek'' reruns, I imagined our species solving poverty, ending war, and colonizing other worlds by now. Silly me. Here I am today discussing a popular belief that reptilian extraterrestrials reside in Buckingham Palace.&quot;
'''“How to Repair the American Mind,” ''Skeptical Inquirer''''' (Volume 45 Issue 3, 2021)


* “The solutions to human problems can only be found in humans. We need to get out of our own way and start acting like sensible sane lifeforms. … Yes, we have a terrible tendency to be shortsighted, greedy, violent, and irrational. But we also have a remarkable capacity for trust, cooperation, and figuring things out.” 
'''Address to the 2021 Asian Humanism Conference, November 27, 2021'''


* “In attempting to know, we engage in grand and meaningful acts. We use our human brains as time machines, to see and learn from the distant past and to travel forward thousands, millions, and billions of years. This young, patchwork organ that evolved to help ancient primates find food and water, maintain group relationships, achieve sexual intercourse, and imagine the next best tool now carries us to the very ends of the universe and beyond.”
'''''At Least Know This: Essential Science to Enhance Your Life''''' (Prometheus Books, 2018)


* “The world's biggest problem is not sexism, racism, political polarization, war, or income inequality. The key never-ending crisis is that most people can’t or won’t think. Poor thinking skills cut cross all the usual lines to drag down societies like nothing else. Thinking well could alleviate or solve virtually all our problems.”
'''''Tweet''''' (@harrisonauthor) January 22, 2022


* “Museums are my cathedrals. Artifacts in glass cases are my sacred relics. I truly believe I have felt something close to religious fervor inside some of these buildings. I even feel that I have experienced the occasional transcendent moment inside a museum.”
'''''50 Reasons People Give for Believing in a God''''' (Prometheus Books, 2008)


* On the potential discoveries of the James Webb Space Telescope: “Collectively, as a species, we are standing at the mouth of the deepest and darkest cave of all. As we lean in and turn on the flashlight, we can be confident that wonderful secrets await.”  
'''“Flashlights in the cosmic cave”, ''Christian Science Monitor''''' (editorial, August 19, 2022)


* “Appreciate the magnificent brain you possess. Protect and nurture it. Strive to be a good skeptic and critical thinker so that fewer hours of your precious life will be squandered on dead-end beliefs. Always try to think like a scientist so that you might better know truth from fiction.”                                                                                                       
'''''Think: Why You Should Question Everything''''' (Prometheus Books, 2013)


* “It’s the 21st century and still we have no universally agreed upon definition of life. It seems the universe does not care about our desire for tidy categories and tight descriptions. Our intellectual comfort is irrelevant to reality. When it comes to life, gray zones and blurry boundaries abound. This is bizarre considering life has been on our planet for more than 3.5 billion years and it’s all around us now. Life saturates Earth’s surface zone, from more than a mile deep in the crust to the stratosphere miles above. Its diversity and overall success are staggering, difficult to comprehend. For example, some scientists estimate that there are more than one trillion species alive right now. In total, Earth may have hosted more than 100 trillion species so far. Life is no stranger to us. And yet, what is it?”
'''“What is Life?”, ''Psychology Today''''' (September 2019)


* &quot;Extreme political manipulation, social media idiocy, QAnon, and other cognitive disasters likely would dry up and shrink to insignificance if robbed of the current deep pool of unquestioning targets ready for assimilation. Those who understand the need to stop America’s slide into ever-deepening irrationality must push our society to raise up new generations of thinking citizens who are capable of identifying and shrugging off unproven claims.&quot;
'''“How to Repair the American Mind,” ''Skeptical Inquirer''''' (Volume 45 Issue 3, 2021)


* “It is in everyone’s best interest to realize and remember that the default human way is to believe first and ask questions never. We become better thinkers by recognizing how poor we are at thinking.”
'''“How to Think Like a Scientist,” chapter by Guy P. Harrison in the book ''Christianity in the Light of Science'', edited by John W. Loftus 


* “Our problem is not a predetermined clash of irreconcilable genomes. Racism is generated and empowered by a flawed worldview that can be corrected with scientific and historical knowledge.” 
'''&quot;Race and Science: What We Really Know,&quot; ''SKEPTIC MAGAZINE''''' (volume 25 number 3 2020)


* “That amazing brain currently residing in your skull evolved over millions of years atop a mobile platform that navigated daily within natural environments. Being confined to a concrete box, subjected to artificial light and constant audio/visual stimulation is not its optimal comfort zone. Your Pleistocene brain is misplaced and often disoriented here in the urbanized-computerized 21st century. So treat it to a regular respite by returning to a familiar place. Go home, however briefly. Be among trees, plants, and wildlife, for the good of your brain.”
'''“Want to Be More Creative? Walk Like a Caveman,” ''Psychology Today''''' (July 9, 2018)


* “Critical thinking is the indispensable skill for smart living in modern society, and skepticism is the essential posture for the fully awake twenty-first-century human being.” 
'''''Good Thinking: What you need to know to be smarter, safer, wealthier, and wiser''''' (Prometheus Books, 2015)


* “Science is not the latest religion and scientists are not exalted priests. We have to think of science as a wonderful tool that is also dangerous. Using it requires responsibility. Science gives us vaccines one moment, nuclear warheads the next. It’s up to be wise tool users.”  
'''Address to the 2021 Asian Humanism Conference, November 27, 2021'''


* “All those Creationism vs. Evolution debates are misaligned and misleading. The real debate should be Creationism vs. Abiogenesis. Creationism is a belief about a supernatural origin of life. Evolution is a theory about how life changes over time. Those are not the same things. Abiogenesis is the science of life’s origin that logically stands in direct opposition to creationism.”   
''''' “Seeking a Rational View of Life on Earth”, Darwin Day lecture to the Prairie State Humanists, February 09, 2022'''''


* “Modern museums are elaborate versions of those striking prehistoric hands stenciled on cave walls by people who lived tens of thousands of years ago, or that plaque from Earth placed on the Moon in the summer of 1969. Museums scream to every visitor: “Look at all this stuff! People were here. People figured things out. We did things. And you are part of it!”  
'''“Imagine a World Without Museums”, ''Psychology Today''''' (July 3, 2021)


* “Isaac Newton would be the easy answer [for greatest scientist ever]. But I’ll go with a hominin, probably two million years or so ago, who first confronted fire like a scientist. He or she observed the flames, thought about it, formulated an hypothesis, experimented perhaps, and then came up with a theory of fire. That person, so long ago, was doing science. That person approached fire, a dangerous phenomenon, and dared to control it. That was science in action. And it changed us forever. With fire in our minds and torches in our hands, we were no longer prey, no longer lost in the darkness of every night. If we one day spread our intelligence throughout the universe, it will all trace back to that hominin and that moment.”
'''“An Interview with Guy Harrison,” by Alejandro Borgo, ''Skeptical Inquirer''''' (November 10, 2017)  


* “Every person is a collective, a vast and complex gathering of interdependent life. Any description of ‘human’ must acknowledge these intimate strangers. Our bond with microbes is such that they are not so much riders, parasites, and assistants as part human. And we, it’s becoming increasingly clear, may need to begin thinking of ourselves as part microbe.” 
'''''At Least Know This: Essential Science to Enhance Your Life''''' (Prometheus Books, 2018)


* “Good thinking and science are the fundamental prerequisites to building a better world for ourselves and the life we share it with. So much that harms us, so much of our pain is self-inflicted and unnecessary, the result of irrational fears and misperceptions. Most people on Earth right now do not know who we are, how we got here, how we depend on countless lifeforms all around us, how the universe works, and so on. All of our wars, racism, hate, fear, destruction and neglect are exactly what one would expect from an intelligent species with no self-awareness. We must find a way to teach our children, all children, the fundamental knowledge of who we are and what the universe is. Only then, can we finally wake up, grow up, and be our best.“ 
'''“An Interview with Guy Harrison,” by Alejandro Borgo, ''Skeptical Inquirer''''' (November 10, 2017)


* “The brain produces a customized representation of a scene. What we see, as a matter of routine, are functional fantasies meant to be of practical use. If more people filtered every important observation through an awareness of this, it could significantly reduce self-deception and irrationality. And that would be a big step toward a more sensible world.  
'''“What Everyone Needs to Understand About Human Vision” ''Psychology Today''''' (October 16, 2021)


* “We have magnificent brains—and use them to believe nonsense and behave as fools.   . . .  We are enslaved to delusions and too often the servants of subconscious biases. . . .  Our great challenge is to use our brains to overcome our brains.”
'''''At Least Know This: Essential Science to Enhance Your Life''''' (2018)   


* “Mozart's music on a smartphone can't redeem or compensate for our lust for the ludicrous. Suckers for empty promises, false hopes, and pseudoscientific babble, we are our own worst enemies. Few people take the time to learn how brains process sensory input in misleading ways and how subconscious biases inﬂuence conscious thinking. The result is a global population teeming with easy targets for digitized nonsense and deception.”
'''''Think Before You Like: Social Media's Effect on the Brain and the Tools You Need to Navigate Your Newsfeed''''' (Prometheus Books, 2017)


* “Don’t passively accept contagions. Turn your mind into an immune system that intercepts invading ideas, assesses them, and destroys the bad ones.”
'''''Tweet''''' (@harrisonauthor) November 29, 2021


* “Evolution is the long blur, a constant and living flow of branching relationships. One thing is always connected to another and another. Having no regard for our love of labels and organization, life rolls on as a continual stream of organic matter. The important thing about the origin of the human brain is not pinpointing some specific time, event, or fossil to declare a beginning in order to satisfy our desire for order. What matters is that we understand the process from which it emerged and how deeply rooted the modern human brain is to its past.”  
'''''Good Thinking: What you need to know to be smarter, safer, wealthier, and wiser'' ''''' (Prometheus Books, 2015)


* “Remember who you are: a human, a lifeform who still carries echoes of the forest and deep memories of the wild. Answer this call. Respond to the mind’s natural attraction to the natural world. Do all you can to nurture your brain’s need for nature so that it may serve you well.” 
'''“Nurture Your Nature Connection to Maximize Brain Power”, ''Psychology Today''''' (October 16, 2021)


* “Don’t worry about winning debates and beating up people in heated arguments. That stuff is rarely enjoyable or productive. Instead offer a helping hand. Be positive. Teach. Try to inspire people to think better for their own good.” 
''''' “Seeking a Rational View of Life on Earth”, Darwin Day lecture to the Prairie State Humanists, February 09, 2022'''''


* &quot;We are not a collection of subspecies separated by biological canyons. Neither nature nor supernatural design imposed the different and often contradictory racial classification systems used around the world.&quot; 
'''&quot;Race and Science: What We Really Know,&quot; SKEPTIC MAGAZINE''' (volume 25 number 3 2020)


* “All known life on Earth today is fundamentally similar, is genetically related, and shares descent from a single-celled common ancestor that lived at least 3 or 4 billion years ago.  . . .  Sometimes I get so wrapped up in thoughts about evolution, biodiversity, and the surprisingly close relationships between lifeforms that I look around and see only slight variations of genetic code.” 
'''''At Least Know This: Essential Science to Enhance Your Life''''' (Prometheus Books, 2018)


* “The reality is that racial lynchings were a frequent and normal feature of life in the South. This unique method of murder was a devastating form of terrorism that imposed a constant threat to all black people. The white authority structure did not only tolerate or encourage these killings but used the fear of lynchings to control and oppress black people.”
'''“Why White America Must Learn the History of Lynching”, ''Skeptical Inquirer''''' (December 2020)


* “We must use our brains to overcome our brains. You are the solution to this crazy world we find ourselves in. Do everything you can to reach others. Teach. Elevate. Encourage critical thinking. But do it with kindness and understanding. People who believe crazy things are only guilty of being human. Remember this and show compassion.” 
'''Address to Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Franklin, January 9, 2022'''


* “Science has revealed that human vision is much closer to cognitive theater than video surveillance. But how many people know this? Most are unaware that seeing is largely a creative act, a process that presents us with a version of reality rather than an accurate reproduction.”
'''“What Everyone Needs to Understand About Human Vision” ''Psychology Today''''' (October 16, 2021)


* “Our present course may be unsustainable. The synergy of increasingly sophisticated deception aimed at unthinking masses promises more crippling confusion, disruption, and chaos, perhaps more than America can endure. Every minute worrying about nefarious microchips in vaccines is time not spent intelligently evaluating risk and assessing evidence. Every day sacrificed at the altar of a conspiracy belief or at the feet of a hollow demagogue is another day lost to possible social and political progress for all.”
'''“How to Repair the American Mind,” ''Skeptical Inquirer''''' (Volume 45 Issue 3, 2021)


* “I can easily imagine the first museum having existed a million or more years ago. Picture an elderly Homo erectus proudly displaying an assortment of exquisitely crafted Acheulian hand axes for all to see. Maybe there was even a children’s educational section for hands-on tool making fun. For as long as humans have had stuff, someone probably felt compelled to show off that stuff.”  
'''“Imagine a World Without Museums”, ''Psychology Today''''' (July 3, 2021)


* “When we transitioned to a species that relies so heavily on cognitive abilities, we became the most powerful and profoundly weird creatures of all time. Right now, more than 8 billion people carry inside their heads a three-pound blob of magic, an electrochemical storm of genius and creative madness that is unprecedented and unsurpassed in this planet’s 4.5 billion years of natural history. This is who humans became long ago, and this is who you are now. You are one more unique link in a long, living chain of fantastic inventiveness and brilliant imagination.”
'''''At Least Know This: Essential Science to Enhance Your Life''''' (Prometheus Books, 2018)


* “It’s never too late to think.” 
'''''Tweet''''' (@harrisonauthor) February 10, 2022


* “In 1972, from a distance of about 18,000 miles away, an Apollo 17 astronaut took a photo of the Earth that later would be named “The Blue Marble.” That single unprecedented image of an illuminated Earth in full jolted billions into contemplating the beauty and fragility of our tiny home in the dark expanse.”
'''“How Will the James Webb Telescope Impact Human Psychology?” ''Psychology Today''''' (March 17, 2022)


* “Lynchings in the past have significantly shaped race relations in the present. A killing such as George Floyd’s lands on black people with a much heavier psychological weight because of lynching’s legacy. Too many white people fail to recognize this, and that needs to change. The hurt is too great, the simmering fear and anger too volatile, to bury forever. All Americans who would seek or demand a nation that is fairer to every citizen, less racist, and more peaceful have a responsibility to know this history in detail. … Confronting this ugliness would be difficult for everyone, of course, but it should be attempted. Ignorance and denial certainly have not worked, because this American wound still bleeds.” 
'''“Why White America Must Learn the History of Lynching”, ''Skeptical Inquirer''''' (December 2020)


* “Spending a day inside an ornate palace of emotion such as the Louvre or Metropolitan Museum of Art is proof that even the worst of our wars, oppression, and neglect cannot erase the beauty we humans routinely conjure out of thin air. We may hate, but we love, too. Destroyers and creators, that’s us. … Visit museums. Support museums. Love museums. They are necessary reflections in the mirror, the biased but revelatory autobiographies of a species still seeking to know itself.”  
'''“Imagine a World Without Museums”, ''Psychology Today''''' (July 3, 2021)


* “Intelligent design is intellectual surrender. Not understanding how something works or how it came to be is not an answer. Our current ignorance should only be motivation to keep working the problems. Everything is irreducibly complex—until a scientist figures it out.” 
''''' “Seeking a Rational View of Life on Earth”, Darwin Day lecture to the Prairie State Humanists, February 09, 2022'''''


* “Scientists believe that walking has this effect of enhancing creativity because it loosens the restraints and filters that our brains place on memory when we focus on a task. When one dedicates mental effort to something, the brain tries to help by shutting down what it deems to be irrelevant distractions from within. Walking can relax the mind enough to reduce these barriers and allow some unrelated memories to emerge. This is precisely what we want in order to maximize creativity. It helps when disconnected memories and disparate bits of information come forward, because they are often the source of new and unique ideas.”
'''“Want to Be More Creative? Walk Like a Caveman,” ''Psychology Today''''' (July 9, 2018)


* &quot;Making critical thinking a national educational norm is the cognitive vaccine America needs to have a fighting chance of maintaining sufficient sanity. Good thinking prevents and alleviates bad thinking.&quot; 
'''“How to Repair the American Mind,” ''Skeptical Inquirer''''' (Volume 45 Issue 3, 2021)


* “Our present inability to define life succinctly, logically and consistently is a byproduct of something we can be grateful for. The difficulty exists because living and nonliving matter are intimately tangled as partners in the same grand game. Mere being is the big show. We live inside of and are part of a universe that is exciting and endlessly fascinating. All of it together—stars, planets, moons, rocks, molecules, atoms, and ‘life’—make the spectacle. What’s going on down at the quantum level, as well as dark energy and dark matter, makes clear that nonlife is no less amazing and surprising than life. The fact that the two realms blur from one to the other only makes learning and discovery more thrilling. Yes, we belong to a cool clique called life, with its blurry borders and loose membership requirements, but we also belong to a larger and even more exciting club called existence.”
'''“What is Life?”, ''Psychology Today''''' (September 2019)


* “But even bad museums can have value. The Creation Museum (Kentucky, USA), for example, may be a vulgar monument to pseudoscience and deception, but it can teach us important things about American culture and humankind in general. I visited museums in a couple of communist countries that were like supervolcanoes of absurd propaganda. But they made me think more about patriotism and the national mythologies of all countries.”  
'''“Imagine a World Without Museums”, ''Psychology Today''''' (July 3, 2021)


* “When we jump to a conclusion before doing research, we tend to look for evidence that supports our beliefs and ignore facts that contradict them. This deprives us of the opportunity to grow our knowledge.”
'''''Red Book''''' (March 2016, page 109)


* “It’s scary to think about, but we may finally find unity as a species in self-destruction. The first minute of World War III will render nations, races, and religions meaningless concepts because the first thing to die in nuclear fire will be all our beloved imaginary borders.&quot;  
'''''Tweet''''' (@harrisonauthor) April 23, 2022


* “Science has revealed that human vision is much closer to cognitive theater than video surveillance. But how many people know this? Most are unaware that seeing is largely a creative act, a process that presents us with a version of reality rather than an accurate reproduction.”
'''“What Everyone Needs to Understand About Human Vision” ''Psychology Today''''' (October 16, 2021)


* “I am confident that we will continue to move toward greater political and legal freedoms, but with many ups and downs along the way. However, we may find that total freedom or something close to it is a difficult challenge, too. Winning freedom of thought and action is one thing, deciding what to do with it will be quite another.”
'''“An Interview with Guy Harrison,” by Alejandro Borgo, ''Skeptical Inquirer''''' (November 10, 2017) 


* “Evolution does not mean improvement. There is no ladder of progress, no foresight, no plan, no goal. Evolution is the unintelligent and indifferent process of life changing over time. It doesn’t prepare lifeforms for the future. It can’t because the future is unknown. With evolution, the only winning is being alive right now and the only losing is being extinct. Every species on Earth today is tied for first. We can’t rank contemporary lifeforms as more or less evolved than others. And we can’t rank the long-term survivability of species because today’s big flashy advantage could be tomorrow’s death sentence. The mighty human brain, for example, might turn out to be a doomsday device. If we destroy ourselves with nuclear weapons then big primate brains would have been just another evolutionary dead-end.”    
''''' “Seeking a Rational View of Life on Earth”, Darwin Day lecture to the Prairie State Humanists, February 09, 2022'''''


* “QAnon is a claim so extraordinarily vacuous that it can almost serve as the perfect litmus test for the pathological absence of critical thinking.”
'''“How to Repair the American Mind,” ''Skeptical Inquirer''''' (Volume 45 Issue 3, 2021)


* “The human brain is evolution’s most magnificent disaster, a beautiful and glorious cesspool of brilliant analytical powers, infinite creativity, and pure madness.”
'''''Tweet''''' (@harrisonauthor) November 22, 2021


* “This is an exciting moment in human history. Collectively, as a species, we are standing at the mouth of the deepest and darkest cave of all. As we lean in and turn on the flashlight, we can be confident that wonderful secrets await.  
'''“How Will the James Webb Telescope Impact Human Psychology?” ''Psychology Today''''' (March 17, 2022)

 
* “Some museums are blatant trophy rooms designed to show off only the best of ourselves. This is a good thing, too. We need it. A great art museum, for example, reassures me that, no matter what comes, humankind has not been a total waste of atoms.”  
'''“Imagine a World Without Museums”, ''Psychology Today''''' (July 3, 2021)


*	“The crucial ever-present factor in 2020 was critical thinking. Those who thought well were less likely to tumble into the rabbit holes of QAnon, COVID is a hoax, 5-G towers help spread the virus, racism is scientific, hydroxychloroquine cures COVID, demon sperm is a problem, tracking devices are in vaccines, mass election fraud, etc. The ability and willingness to lean toward evidence and logic rather than side with blind trust and emotion was the key metric behind the madness.”
'''“How to Repair the American Mind,” ''Skeptical Inquirer''''' (Volume 45 Issue 3, 2021)


== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*[https://www.linkedin.com/in/guy-harrison-ba9b2146/ LinkedIn page]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n44H3ZS7JEI Guy P. Harrison: A Skeptic's Perspective (YouTube video: 1 hour and 15 minutes)]
*[https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/532496.Guy_P_Harrison Author quotes on Goodreads]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Harrison, Guy P.}}
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    <title>Proclus</title>
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      <text bytes="25211" xml:space="preserve">'''{{w|Proclus}} Lycaeus''' (8 February 412&amp;nbsp;– 17 April 485 AD), called '''the Successor''', was a [[w:Greek philosophy|Greek]] [[w:Neoplatonism|Neoplatonist]] philosopher. As one of the last major classical philosophers, he set forth an elaborate and fully developed system of Neoplatonism, which had a profound influence upon Western medieval philosophy. His commentary on the first book of [[Euclid’s Elements|Euclid's ''Elements'']] is one of the most valuable sources we have for the history of ancient mathematics, and its Platonic account of the status of mathematical objects was also influential.

== Quotes ==

* It is told that those who first brought out the irrationals from concealment into the open perished in shipwreck, to a man. For the unutterable and the formless must needs be concealed. And those who uncovered and touched this image of life were instantaneously destroyed and shall remain forever exposed to the play of the eternal waves.
** As quoted by [[Tobias Dantzig]], ''{{w|Number: The Language of Science}}'' (1930)&lt;!--p. 105, 2005 edition, Pi Press--&gt; ''also see'' Proclus, scholium to Book X of Euclid's ''Elements'', vol. V.

* Not much younger than these (sc. [[w:Hermotimus of Clazomenae|Hermotimus of Colophon]] and [[w:Philip of Opus|Philippus of Mende]]) is [[Euclid]], who put together the Elements, collecting many of [[w:Eudoxus of Cnidus|Eudoxus]]' theorems, perfecting many of [[w:Theaetetus (mathematician)|Theaetetus]]', and also bringing to [[wiktionary:irrefragable#Adjective|irrefragable]] demonstration the things which were only somewhat loosely proved by his predecessors. This man lived in the time of the [[w:Ptolemy I Soter|first Ptolemy]]. For [[Archimedes]], who came immediately after the first (Ptolemy), makes mention of Euclid: and, further, they say that Ptolemy once asked him if there was in geometry any shorter way than that of the elements, and he answered that there was no royal road to geometry. He is then younger than pupils of [[Plato]] but older than [[w:Eratosthenes|Eratosthenes]] and Archimedes; for the latter were contemporary with one another, as Eratosthenes somewhere says.
** As quoted by Sir [[Thomas Little Heath]], ''The Thirteen Books of Euclid's Elements'' (1908) [https://books.google.com/books?id=UhgPAAAAIAAJ Vol.1] ''Introduction and Books I, II'' p.1, citing ''Proclus'' ed. Friedlein, p. 68, 6-20.

* This, therefore, is mathematics: she reminds you of the invisible form of the soul; she gives life to her own discoveries; she awakens the mind and purifies the intellect; she brings light to our intrinsic ideas; she abolishes oblivion and ignorance which are ours by birth.&lt;!--p.24--&gt;
** As quoted by {{w|Morris Kline}}, ''Mathematical Thought from Ancient to Modern Times'' (1972)

=== ''The Philosophical and Mathematical Commentaries of Proclus on the First Book of Euclid's Elements'' Vol. 1 (1788)  ===
:&lt;small&gt;''to which are added , A History of the Restoration of the Platonic Theology by the Latter Platonists: and a Translation from the Greek of Proclus's Theological Elements'',  as translated by [[w:Thomas Taylor (neoplatonist)|Thomas Taylor]].&lt;/small&gt;

* The [[w:Platonism|Platonic]] doctrine of Ideas has been, in all ages, the derision of the vulgar, and the admiration of the wife. Indeed, if we consider that ideas are the most sublime objects of speculation, and that their nature is no less bright in itself, than difficult to investigate, this opposition in the conduct of mankind will be natural and necessary; for, from our connection with a material nature, our intellectual eye, previous to the irradiations of science, is as ill adapted to objects the most splendid of all, &quot;as the eyes of bats to the light of day.&quot;&lt;!--p. i --&gt;
** &quot;A Dissertation on the Doctrine of Ideas, &amp;c.&quot; Footnote: see second book of Aristotle's Metaphysics.

* The mathematician speculates the causes of a certain sensible effect, without considering its actual existence; for the contemplation of universals excludes the knowledge of particulars; and he whose intellectual eye is fixed on that which is general and comprehensive, will think but little of that which is sensible and singular.&lt;!--p. lxvii--&gt;
** &quot;A Dissertation on the Doctrine of Ideas, &amp;c.&quot;

* Let us now explain the origin of geometry, as existing in the present age of the world. For the demoniacal [[Aristotle]] observes, that the same opinions often subsist among men, according to certain orderly revolutions of the world: and that sciences did not receive their first constitution in our times, nor in those periods which are known to us from historical tradition, but have appeared and vanished again in other revolutions of the universe; nor is it possible to say how often this has happened in past ages, and will again take place in the future circulations of time. But, because the origin of arts and sciences is to be considered according to the present revolution of the universe, we must affirm, in conformity with the most general tradition, that geometry was first invented by the [[w:Ancient Egypt|Egyptians]], deriving its origin from the mensuration of their fields: since this, indeed, was necessary to them, on account of the inundation of the Nile washing away the boundaries of land belonging to each. Nor ought It to seem wonderful, that the invention of this as well as of other sciences, should receive its commencement from convenience and opportunity. Since whatever is carried in the circle of generation proceeds from the imperfect to the perfect.&lt;!--pp. 98-99--&gt;
** Chap. IV. On the Origin of Geometry, and its Inventors. Footnote (Taylor's): Aristotle was called demoniacal by the Platonic philosophers, in consequence of the [[wiktionary:encomium#Noun|encomium]] bestowed on him by his master, [[Plato]], &quot;That he was the [[w:Daemon (classical mythology)|dæmon]] of nature.&quot; Indeed, his great knowledge in things subject to the dominion of nature, well deserved this encomium, and the [[wiktionary:epithet#Noun|epithet]] ''divine'', has been universally ascribed to Plato, from his profound knowledge of the intelligible world.

* A transition, therefore, is not undeservedly made from sense to consideration, and from this to the nobler energies of intellect. Hence, as the certain knowledge of numbers received its origin among the Phœnicians, on account of merchandise and commerce, so geometry was found out among the Egyptians from the distribution of land. When [[Thales]], therefore, first went into Egypt, he transferred this knowledge from thence into Greece: and he invented many things himself, and communicated to his successors the principles of many. Some of which were, indeed, more universal, but others extended to sensibles.&lt;!--p. 99--&gt;
** Chap. IV.

* But after these, [[Pythagoras]] changed that philosophy, which is conversant about geometry itself, into the form of a liberal doctrine, considering its principles in a more exalted manner; and investigating its theorems immaterially and intellectually; who likewise invented a treatise of such things as cannot be explained in geometry, and discovered the constitution of the mundane figures.&lt;!--p. 99--&gt;
** Chap. IV.

[[File:HippocratesChiosQuadLunula.jpg|thumb|&lt;center&gt;Hippocrates of Chios'&lt;br /&gt;quadrature of the Lunula, from&lt;br /&gt;''The Philosophical and Mathematical&lt;br /&gt;Commentaries of Proclus on the&lt;br /&gt;First Book of Euclid's Elements''&lt;br /&gt;(1789) Tr. [[w:Thomas Taylor (neoplatonist)|Thomas Taylor]]&lt;/center&gt;]]
* After [[Pythagoras]], [[Anaxagoras]] the [[w:Klazomenai|Clazomenian]] succeeded, who undertook many things pertaining to geometry. And [[w:Oenopides|Oenopides]] the [[w:Chios|Chian]], was somewhat junior to Anaxagoras, and whom [[Plato]] mentions in his Rivals, as one who obtained mathematical glory. To these succeeded [[w:Hippocrates of Chios|Hippocrates, the Chian]], who invented the quadrature of the [[w:Lune of Hippocrates|lunula]], and [[w:Theodorus of Cyrene|Theodorus the Cyrenean]], both of them eminent in geometrical knowledge. For the first of these, Hippocrates composed geometrical elements: but Plato, who was posterior to these, caused as well geometry itself, as the other mathematical disciplines, to receive a remarkable addition, on account of the great study he bestowed in their investigation. This he himself manifests, and his books, replete with mathematical discourses, evince: to which we may add, that he every where excites whatever in them is wonderful, and extends to philosophy. But in his time also lived [[w:Leodamas of Thasos|Leodamas the Thasian]], [[Archytas|Architas]] the [[w:Taranto|Tarentine]], and [[w:Theaetetus (mathematician)|Theætetus]] the Athenian; by whom theorems were increased, and advanced to a more skilful constitution. But Neoclides was junior to Leodamas, and his disciple was [[w:Leon (mathematician)|Leon]]; who added many things to those thought of by former geometricians. So that Leon also constructed elements more accurate, both on account of their multitude, and on account of the use which they exhibit: and besides this, he discovered a method of determining when a problem, whose investigation is sought for, is possible, and when it is impossible.&lt;!--pp. 99-100--&gt;
** Ch. IV.

* But [[w:Eudoxus of Cnidus|Eudoxus the Cnidian]], who was somewhat junior to Leon, and the companion of Plato, first of all rendered the multitude of those theorems which are called universals more abundant; and to three proportions added three others; and things relative to a section, which received their commencement from Plato, he diffused into a richer multitude, employing also resolutions in the prosecution of these.&lt;!--p.100--&gt;
** Ch. IV.

* Again, Amyclas the Heracleotean, one of Plato's familiars, and [[w:Menaechmus|Menæchmus]], the disciple, indeed, of Eudoxus, but conversant with Plato, and his brother [[w:Dinostratus|Dinostratus]], rendered the whole of geometry as yet more perfect. But [[w:Theudius|Theudius]], the [[w:Magnesia ad Sipylum|Magnian]], appears to have excelled, as well in mathematical disciplines, as in the rest of philosophy. For he constructed elements [[wiktionary:egregious#Adjective|egregious]]ly, and rendered many particulars more universal. Besides, Cyzicinus the Athenian, flourished at the same period, and became illustrious in other mathematical disciplines, but especially in geometry. These, therefore, resorted by turns to the [[w:Platonic Academy|Academy]], and employed themselves in proposing common questions.&lt;!--p.100-101--&gt;
** Ch. IV.

* But Hermotimus, the Colophonian, rendered more abundant what was formerly published by Eudoxus and Theætetus, and invented a multitude of elements, and wrote concerning some geometrical places. But [[w:Philip of Opus|Philippus]] the [[w:Mende (Chalcidice)|Mendæan]], a disciple of Plato, and by him inflamed in the mathematical disciplines, both composed questions, according to the institutions of Plato, and proposed as the object of his enquiry whatever he thought conduced to the Platonic philosophy.&lt;!--p.101--&gt;
** Ch. IV.

* And thus far historians produce the perfection of this science. But Euclid was not much junior to these, who collected elements, and constructed many of those things which were invented by Eudoxus; and perfected many which were discovered by Theætetus. Besides, he reduced to invincible demonstrations, such things as were exhibited by others with a weaker arm. But he lived in the times of the first [[w:Ptolemy I Soter|Ptolemy]]: for [[Archimedes]] mentions Euclid, in his first book, and also in others. Besides, they relate that Euclid was asked by Ptolomy, whether there was any shorter way to the attainment of geometry than by his elementary institution, and that he answered, there was no other royal path which led to geometry. Euclid, therefore, was junior to the familiars of Plato, but more ancient than [[w:Eratosthenes|Eratosthenes]] and Archimedes (for these lived at one and the same time, according to the tradition of Eratosthenes) but he was of the Platonic sect, and familiar with its philosophy: and from hence he appointed the constitution of those figures which are called Platonic, as the end of his elementary institutions.
** Ch. IV. On the Origin of Geometry, and its Inventors.

=== ''The Philosophical and Mathematical Commentaries of Proclus on the First Book of Euclid's Elements'' Vol. 2 (1789) ===
:&lt;small&gt;''to which are added , A History of the Restoration of the Platonic Theology by the Latter Platonists: and a Translation from the Greek of Proclus's Theological Elements'', as translated by [[w:Thomas Taylor (neoplatonist)|Thomas Taylor]].&lt;/small&gt;

[[File:Proclus neoplatonist.jpg|thumb|&lt;center&gt;Title page&lt;/center&gt;]]
* For this, ''to draw a right line from every point, to every point'', follows the definition, which says, that ''a line is the flux of a point'', and a right line ''an indeclinable and inflexible flow''.&lt;!--p. 6--&gt;
** Book III. Concerning Petitions and Axioms.

* ''If two right lines cut one another, they will form the angles at the vertex equal''.  ...&lt;br /&gt;This... is what the the present theorem evinces, that when two right lines mutually cut each other, the [[w:Angle#Vertical and adjacent angle pairs|vertical angles]] are equal. And it was first invented according to [[w:Eudemus of Rhodes|Eudemus]] by [[Thales]]...
** Proposition XV. Thereom VIII.

* ''To a given right line to apply a parallelogram equal to a given triangle in an angle which is equal to a given right lined angle''.&lt;br /&gt;According to the Familiars of [[w:Eudemus of Rhodes|Eudemus]], the inventions respecting the ''application'', ''excess'', and ''defect'' of spaces, is ancient and belongs to the [[w:Pythagoreanism|Pythagoric]] muse. But junior mathematicians receiving names from these, transferred them to the lines which are called conic, because one of these they denominate a parabola, but the other an hyperbola, and the third an ellipsis; since, indeed these ancient and divine men, in the plane description of spaces on a terminated right line, regarded the things indicated by these appellations. For when a right line being proposed, you adapt a given space to the whole right line, then that space is said to be ''applied'', but when you make the longitude of the space greater than that of the right line, then the space is said to ''exceed''; but when less, so that some part of the right line is external to the described space, then the space is said to be ''deficient''. And after this manner, [[Euclid]], in the sixth book, mentions both excess and defect. But in the present problem he requires application...
&lt;!--p.198--&gt;
** Proposition XLIV. Problem XII.

*''Besides, they relate that Euclid was asked by Ptolomy [sic], whether there was any shorter way to the attainment of geometry than by his elementary institution, and that he answered, there was no other royal path which led to geometry. 
** Chapter IV

== Quotes about Proclus ==

* He is verbose and dull, but luckily he has preserved for us quotations from other and better authorities.&lt;!--p.112--&gt;
** [[W. W. Rouse Ball]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=egY6AAAAMAAJ A Short Account of the History of Mathematics]'' 4th edition (1908) [1st ed. 1888]

* What Science can be more accurate than Geometry? What Science can afford Principles more evident, more certain, yea I will add, more simple than Geometrical Axioms, or exercises a more strictly accurate Logic in drawing its Conclusions? But ''[[Aristotle]]'' and ''Proclus'' affirm that ''Unity'' (they had more rightly said Numbers) the Principle of Arithmetic, is more simple than a ''Point'' which is the Principle of Geometry, or rather of Magnitude. Because a Point implies Position, but Unity does not. ''A Point'', says ''Aristotle, and Unity are not to be divided, as Quantity: Unity requires no Position, a Point does''. But this Comparison of a ''Point'' in Geometry with ''Unity'' in Arithmetic is of all the most [[wiktionary:unsufferable#Adjective|unsufferable]], and derives the worst Consequences upon Mathematical Learning.
** [[Isaac Barrow]],  Cambridge mathematical lecture (ca. 1665) published  as ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=YJtEAAAAcAAJ Lectiones Mathematicae]'' (1683) and translated in ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=MwVbAAAAQAAJ The Usefulness of Mathematical Learning Explained and Demonstrated]'' (1734) Tr. John Kirkby, pp. 47-49.

* It is well known that the commentary of Proclus on Eucl. Book I is one of the two main sources of information as to the history of Greek geometry which we possess, the other being the ''[[w:Pappus of Alexandria#Collection|Collection]]'' of [[Pappus]].
** Sir [[Thomas Little Heath]], ''The Thirteen Books of Euclid's Elements'', &quot;Proclus and His Sources&quot; (1908) [https://books.google.com/books?id=UhgPAAAAIAAJ Vol. 1]. p. 29.

* We shall often... have occasion to quote from the so-called 'Summary' of Proclus... Occupying a few pages &lt;!--(65-70)--&gt;of [https://books.google.com/books?id=AD1WAAAAYAAJ Proclus's ''Commentary on Euclid'', Book I], it reviews, in the briefest possible outline, the course of Greek geometry from the earliest times to [[Euclid]], with special reference to the evolution of the [[Euclid’s Elements|Elements]]. At one time it was often called the 'Eudemian summary', on the assumption that it was an extract from the great ''History of Geometry'' in four Books by [[w:Eudemus of Rhodes|Eudemus]], the pupil of [[Aristotle]]. But a perusal of the summary itself is sufficient to show that it cannot have been written by Eudemus; the most that can be said is that, down to a certain sentence, it was probably based, more or less directly, upon data appearing in Eudemus's ''History''.&lt;!-- p. 118--&gt;
** Sir [[Thomas Little Heath]], ''A History of Greek Mathematics'', [https://books.google.com/books?id=h4JsAAAAMAAJ Vol. 1] (1921)

* ''The [[w:Porism|Porisms]]''.&lt;br /&gt;Our only source of information about the nature and contents of the ''Porisms'' is [[Pappus]]. ...With Pappus's account of Porisms must be compared the passages of Proclus on the same subject. ...Proclus's definition... agees well enough with the first, the 'older', definition of Pappus. A porism occupies a place between a theorem and a problem; it deals with something already existing, as a theorem does, but has to ''find'' it (e.g. the centre of a circle) and, as a certain operation is therefore necessary, it partakes to that extent of the nature of a problem, which requires us to construct or produce something not previously existing. ...all the positive information which we have about the nature of a porism and the contents of [[Euclid]]'s Porisms ...is obscure and leaves great scope for speculation and controversy; naturally, therefore, the problem of restoring the ''Porisms'' has had a great fascination for distinguished mathematicians ever since the revival of learning. But it has proved beyond them all.&lt;!--pp. 431-435--&gt;
** Sir [[w:Thomas Little Heath|Thomas Little Heath]], ''A History of Greek Mathematics'' (1921) [https://books.google.com/books?id=h4JsAAAAMAAJ Vol. 1], Ch. XI Euclid, &quot;Lost Geometrical Works.&quot;

* Of his surviving works, the ''Commentary'', which treats Book I of Euclid's ''Elements'', is the most valuable. Proclus apparently intended to discuss more of the ''Elements'', but there is no evidence that he ever did so.&lt;!--p. 26--&gt;
** {{w|Morris Kline}}, ''Mathematical Thought from Ancient to Modern Times'' (1972)

* According to the account of Proclus (Book II. c. 4 ), [[Pythagoras]] was the first who gave to Geometry the form of a deductive science, by shewing the connexion of the geometrical truths then known, and their dependence on certain first principles.
** Robert Potts, ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=GLZjAAAAcAAJ&amp;pg=PR3 Euclid's Elements of Geometry]'' (1845) Introduction pp. iii-iv

* It is also problematical whether Proclus could have ever written such a clear, sober, and concise piece of work. His predominant interest in any subject, even mathematics, is always the [[Epistemology|epistemological]] aspect of it. He must ever inquire into the how and the why of the knowledge relevant to that subject, and its kind or kinds; and such speculation is apt with him to intrude into the discussion of even a definition or proposition.&lt;br /&gt;Moreover Proclus can never forego theologizing in the [[Pythagoras|Pythagorean]] vein. Mathematical forms are for him but veils concealing from the vulgar gaze divine things. Thus right angles are symbols of virtue, or images of perfection and invariable energy, of limitation, intellectual finitude, and the like, and are ascribed to the Gods which proceed into the universe as the authors of the invariable providence of inferiors, whereas acute and obtuse angles are symbols of vice, or images of unceasing progression, division, partition, and infinity, and are ascribed to the Gods who give progression, motion, and a variety of powers.&lt;br /&gt;This epistemological interest and this tendency to symbolism are entirely lacking in our commentary; and another trait peculiar to Proclus is also absent, namely, his inordinate pedantry, his fondness of quoting all kinds of opinions from all sorts of ancient thinkers and of citing these by name with pedagogical finicalness. Obviously the author of our commentary had a philosophical turn of mind, but he was a temperate thinker compared with Proclus.
** William Thomson &amp; Gustav Junge, ''[https://archive.org/details/commentaryofpapp033370mbp/page/n41/mode/2up?view=theater The Commentary of Pappus on Book X of Euclid's Elements]'' (1930) Arabic Text and Translation by William Thomson with Introductory Remarks, Notes, and a Glossary of Technical Terms by Gustav Junge and William Thomson. [https://archive.org/details/commentaryofpapp033370mbp/page/n44/mode/1up?view=theater Introduction pp. 41-42.]

=== ''A History of Mathematics'' (1893) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[[Florian Cajori]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=kqQPAAAAYAAJ source]&lt;/small&gt;

* A full history of Greek geometry and astronomy during this period written by [[w:Eudemus of Rhodes|Eudemus]], a pupil of Aristotle, has been lost. It was well known to Proclus, who, in his commentaries on [[Euclid]], gives a brief account of it. This abstract constitutes our most reliable information. We shall quote it frequently under the name of ''Eudemian Summary''.&lt;!--p.17--&gt;

* About the time of [[Anaxagoras]], but isolated from the [[w:Ionian School (philosophy)|Ionic school]], flourished [[w:Oenopides|Œnopides]] of [[w:Chios|Chios]]. Proclus ascribes to him the solution of the following problems: From a point without, to draw a perpendicular to a given line, and to draw an angle on a line equal to a given angle. That a man could gain a reputation by solving problems so elementary as these, indicates that geometry was still in its infancy, and that the Greeks had not yet gotten far beyond the Egyptian constructions.&lt;!--p.19--&gt;

* A scholiast on [[Euclid]], thought to be Proclus, says that [[w:Eudoxus of Cnidus|Eudoxus]] practically invented the whole of Euclid's fifth book.&lt;!--p.33--&gt;

* The term '[[w:Axiom|axiom]]' was used by Proclus, but not by [[Euclid]]. He speaks, instead, of 'common notions'—common either to all men or to all sciences.&lt;!--p.38--&gt;

* The regular solids were studied so extensively by the Platonists that they received the name of Platonic figures The statement of Proclus that the whole aim of Euclid in writing the Elements was to arrive at the construction of the regular solids is obviously wrong The fourteenth and fifteenth books treating of solid geometry are apocryphal.&lt;!--pp.38-39--&gt;

* Extracts... made by Proclus indicate that [[Ptolemy]] did not regard the [[w:Parallel postulate|parallel-axiom]] of Euclid as self-evident, and that Ptolemy was the first of the long line of geometers from ancient time down to our own who toiled in the vain attempt to prove it.&lt;!--p. 58--&gt;

* Pappus... is the author of a ''Commentary on the Almagest'', a ''Commentary on Euclid's Elements'', a ''Commentary on the Analemma of Diodoru''s,—a writer of whom nothing is known. All these works are lost. [[w:Proclus|Proclus]], probably quoting from the ''Commentary on Euclid'', says that Pappus objected to the statement that an angle equal to a right angle is always itself a right angle.&lt;!--p.58--&gt;

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* @Google Books (public domain)
** ''The Philosophical and Mathematical Commentaries of Proclus on the First Book of Euclid's Elements'' [https://books.google.com/books?id=7Y2ZHuNW2KIC Vol. 1] (1788), [https://books.google.com/books?id=2SBeEnT45gsC Vol. 2] (1789)

* @Internet Archive
** ''The Philosophical and Mathematical Commentaries of Proclus on the First Book of Euclid's Elements'' [https://archive.org/details/philosophicalan01marigoog Vol. 1] (1788), [https://archive.org/details/philosophicalan00marigoog Vol. 2] (1789)

{{Ancient Greek schools of philosophy}}

[[Category:Mathematicians from Greece]]
[[Category:Philosophers from Greece]]
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      <text bytes="24956" xml:space="preserve">'''{{w|Proclus}} Lycaeus''' (8 February 412&amp;nbsp;– 17 April 485 AD), called '''the Successor''', was a [[w:Greek philosophy|Greek]] [[w:Neoplatonism|Neoplatonist]] philosopher. As one of the last major classical philosophers, he set forth an elaborate and fully developed system of Neoplatonism, which had a profound influence upon Western medieval philosophy. His commentary on the first book of [[Euclid’s Elements|Euclid's ''Elements'']] is one of the most valuable sources we have for the history of ancient mathematics, and its Platonic account of the status of mathematical objects was also influential.

== Quotes ==

* It is told that those who first brought out the irrationals from concealment into the open perished in shipwreck, to a man. For the unutterable and the formless must needs be concealed. And those who uncovered and touched this image of life were instantaneously destroyed and shall remain forever exposed to the play of the eternal waves.
** As quoted by [[Tobias Dantzig]], ''{{w|Number: The Language of Science}}'' (1930)&lt;!--p. 105, 2005 edition, Pi Press--&gt; ''also see'' Proclus, scholium to Book X of Euclid's ''Elements'', vol. V.

* Not much younger than these (sc. [[w:Hermotimus of Clazomenae|Hermotimus of Colophon]] and [[w:Philip of Opus|Philippus of Mende]]) is [[Euclid]], who put together the Elements, collecting many of [[w:Eudoxus of Cnidus|Eudoxus]]' theorems, perfecting many of [[w:Theaetetus (mathematician)|Theaetetus]]', and also bringing to [[wiktionary:irrefragable#Adjective|irrefragable]] demonstration the things which were only somewhat loosely proved by his predecessors. This man lived in the time of the [[w:Ptolemy I Soter|first Ptolemy]]. For [[Archimedes]], who came immediately after the first (Ptolemy), makes mention of Euclid: and, further, they say that Ptolemy once asked him if there was in geometry any shorter way than that of the elements, and he answered that there was no royal road to geometry. He is then younger than pupils of [[Plato]] but older than [[w:Eratosthenes|Eratosthenes]] and Archimedes; for the latter were contemporary with one another, as Eratosthenes somewhere says.
** As quoted by Sir [[Thomas Little Heath]], ''The Thirteen Books of Euclid's Elements'' (1908) [https://books.google.com/books?id=UhgPAAAAIAAJ Vol.1] ''Introduction and Books I, II'' p.1, citing ''Proclus'' ed. Friedlein, p. 68, 6-20.

* This, therefore, is mathematics: she reminds you of the invisible form of the soul; she gives life to her own discoveries; she awakens the mind and purifies the intellect; she brings light to our intrinsic ideas; she abolishes oblivion and ignorance which are ours by birth.&lt;!--p.24--&gt;
** As quoted by {{w|Morris Kline}}, ''Mathematical Thought from Ancient to Modern Times'' (1972)

=== ''The Philosophical and Mathematical Commentaries of Proclus on the First Book of Euclid's Elements'' Vol. 1 (1788)  ===
:&lt;small&gt;''to which are added , A History of the Restoration of the Platonic Theology by the Latter Platonists: and a Translation from the Greek of Proclus's Theological Elements'',  as translated by [[w:Thomas Taylor (neoplatonist)|Thomas Taylor]].&lt;/small&gt;

* The [[w:Platonism|Platonic]] doctrine of Ideas has been, in all ages, the derision of the vulgar, and the admiration of the wife. Indeed, if we consider that ideas are the most sublime objects of speculation, and that their nature is no less bright in itself, than difficult to investigate, this opposition in the conduct of mankind will be natural and necessary; for, from our connection with a material nature, our intellectual eye, previous to the irradiations of science, is as ill adapted to objects the most splendid of all, &quot;as the eyes of bats to the light of day.&quot;&lt;!--p. i --&gt;
** &quot;A Dissertation on the Doctrine of Ideas, &amp;c.&quot; Footnote: see second book of Aristotle's Metaphysics.

* The mathematician speculates the causes of a certain sensible effect, without considering its actual existence; for the contemplation of universals excludes the knowledge of particulars; and he whose intellectual eye is fixed on that which is general and comprehensive, will think but little of that which is sensible and singular.&lt;!--p. lxvii--&gt;
** &quot;A Dissertation on the Doctrine of Ideas, &amp;c.&quot;

* Let us now explain the origin of geometry, as existing in the present age of the world. For the demoniacal [[Aristotle]] observes, that the same opinions often subsist among men, according to certain orderly revolutions of the world: and that sciences did not receive their first constitution in our times, nor in those periods which are known to us from historical tradition, but have appeared and vanished again in other revolutions of the universe; nor is it possible to say how often this has happened in past ages, and will again take place in the future circulations of time. But, because the origin of arts and sciences is to be considered according to the present revolution of the universe, we must affirm, in conformity with the most general tradition, that geometry was first invented by the [[w:Ancient Egypt|Egyptians]], deriving its origin from the mensuration of their fields: since this, indeed, was necessary to them, on account of the inundation of the Nile washing away the boundaries of land belonging to each. Nor ought It to seem wonderful, that the invention of this as well as of other sciences, should receive its commencement from convenience and opportunity. Since whatever is carried in the circle of generation proceeds from the imperfect to the perfect.&lt;!--pp. 98-99--&gt;
** Chap. IV. On the Origin of Geometry, and its Inventors. Footnote (Taylor's): Aristotle was called demoniacal by the Platonic philosophers, in consequence of the [[wiktionary:encomium#Noun|encomium]] bestowed on him by his master, [[Plato]], &quot;That he was the [[w:Daemon (classical mythology)|dæmon]] of nature.&quot; Indeed, his great knowledge in things subject to the dominion of nature, well deserved this encomium, and the [[wiktionary:epithet#Noun|epithet]] ''divine'', has been universally ascribed to Plato, from his profound knowledge of the intelligible world.

* A transition, therefore, is not undeservedly made from sense to consideration, and from this to the nobler energies of intellect. Hence, as the certain knowledge of numbers received its origin among the Phœnicians, on account of merchandise and commerce, so geometry was found out among the Egyptians from the distribution of land. When [[Thales]], therefore, first went into Egypt, he transferred this knowledge from thence into Greece: and he invented many things himself, and communicated to his successors the principles of many. Some of which were, indeed, more universal, but others extended to sensibles.&lt;!--p. 99--&gt;
** Chap. IV.

* But after these, [[Pythagoras]] changed that philosophy, which is conversant about geometry itself, into the form of a liberal doctrine, considering its principles in a more exalted manner; and investigating its theorems immaterially and intellectually; who likewise invented a treatise of such things as cannot be explained in geometry, and discovered the constitution of the mundane figures.&lt;!--p. 99--&gt;
** Chap. IV.

[[File:HippocratesChiosQuadLunula.jpg|thumb|&lt;center&gt;Hippocrates of Chios'&lt;br /&gt;quadrature of the Lunula, from&lt;br /&gt;''The Philosophical and Mathematical&lt;br /&gt;Commentaries of Proclus on the&lt;br /&gt;First Book of Euclid's Elements''&lt;br /&gt;(1789) Tr. [[w:Thomas Taylor (neoplatonist)|Thomas Taylor]]&lt;/center&gt;]]
* After [[Pythagoras]], [[Anaxagoras]] the [[w:Klazomenai|Clazomenian]] succeeded, who undertook many things pertaining to geometry. And [[w:Oenopides|Oenopides]] the [[w:Chios|Chian]], was somewhat junior to Anaxagoras, and whom [[Plato]] mentions in his Rivals, as one who obtained mathematical glory. To these succeeded [[w:Hippocrates of Chios|Hippocrates, the Chian]], who invented the quadrature of the [[w:Lune of Hippocrates|lunula]], and [[w:Theodorus of Cyrene|Theodorus the Cyrenean]], both of them eminent in geometrical knowledge. For the first of these, Hippocrates composed geometrical elements: but Plato, who was posterior to these, caused as well geometry itself, as the other mathematical disciplines, to receive a remarkable addition, on account of the great study he bestowed in their investigation. This he himself manifests, and his books, replete with mathematical discourses, evince: to which we may add, that he every where excites whatever in them is wonderful, and extends to philosophy. But in his time also lived [[w:Leodamas of Thasos|Leodamas the Thasian]], [[Archytas|Architas]] the [[w:Taranto|Tarentine]], and [[w:Theaetetus (mathematician)|Theætetus]] the Athenian; by whom theorems were increased, and advanced to a more skilful constitution. But Neoclides was junior to Leodamas, and his disciple was [[w:Leon (mathematician)|Leon]]; who added many things to those thought of by former geometricians. So that Leon also constructed elements more accurate, both on account of their multitude, and on account of the use which they exhibit: and besides this, he discovered a method of determining when a problem, whose investigation is sought for, is possible, and when it is impossible.&lt;!--pp. 99-100--&gt;
** Ch. IV.

* But [[w:Eudoxus of Cnidus|Eudoxus the Cnidian]], who was somewhat junior to Leon, and the companion of Plato, first of all rendered the multitude of those theorems which are called universals more abundant; and to three proportions added three others; and things relative to a section, which received their commencement from Plato, he diffused into a richer multitude, employing also resolutions in the prosecution of these.&lt;!--p.100--&gt;
** Ch. IV.

* Again, Amyclas the Heracleotean, one of Plato's familiars, and [[w:Menaechmus|Menæchmus]], the disciple, indeed, of Eudoxus, but conversant with Plato, and his brother [[w:Dinostratus|Dinostratus]], rendered the whole of geometry as yet more perfect. But [[w:Theudius|Theudius]], the [[w:Magnesia ad Sipylum|Magnian]], appears to have excelled, as well in mathematical disciplines, as in the rest of philosophy. For he constructed elements [[wiktionary:egregious#Adjective|egregious]]ly, and rendered many particulars more universal. Besides, Cyzicinus the Athenian, flourished at the same period, and became illustrious in other mathematical disciplines, but especially in geometry. These, therefore, resorted by turns to the [[w:Platonic Academy|Academy]], and employed themselves in proposing common questions.&lt;!--p.100-101--&gt;
** Ch. IV.

* But Hermotimus, the Colophonian, rendered more abundant what was formerly published by Eudoxus and Theætetus, and invented a multitude of elements, and wrote concerning some geometrical places. But [[w:Philip of Opus|Philippus]] the [[w:Mende (Chalcidice)|Mendæan]], a disciple of Plato, and by him inflamed in the mathematical disciplines, both composed questions, according to the institutions of Plato, and proposed as the object of his enquiry whatever he thought conduced to the Platonic philosophy.&lt;!--p.101--&gt;
** Ch. IV.

* And thus far historians produce the perfection of this science. But Euclid was not much junior to these, who collected elements, and constructed many of those things which were invented by Eudoxus; and perfected many which were discovered by Theætetus. Besides, he reduced to invincible demonstrations, such things as were exhibited by others with a weaker arm. But he lived in the times of the first [[w:Ptolemy I Soter|Ptolemy]]: for [[Archimedes]] mentions Euclid, in his first book, and also in others. Besides, they relate that Euclid was asked by Ptolomy, whether there was any shorter way to the attainment of geometry than by his elementary institution, and that he answered, there was no other royal path which led to geometry. Euclid, therefore, was junior to the familiars of Plato, but more ancient than [[w:Eratosthenes|Eratosthenes]] and Archimedes (for these lived at one and the same time, according to the tradition of Eratosthenes) but he was of the Platonic sect, and familiar with its philosophy: and from hence he appointed the constitution of those figures which are called Platonic, as the end of his elementary institutions.
** Ch. IV. On the Origin of Geometry, and its Inventors.

=== ''The Philosophical and Mathematical Commentaries of Proclus on the First Book of Euclid's Elements'' Vol. 2 (1789) ===
:&lt;small&gt;''to which are added , A History of the Restoration of the Platonic Theology by the Latter Platonists: and a Translation from the Greek of Proclus's Theological Elements'', as translated by [[w:Thomas Taylor (neoplatonist)|Thomas Taylor]].&lt;/small&gt;

[[File:Proclus neoplatonist.jpg|thumb|&lt;center&gt;Title page&lt;/center&gt;]]
* For this, ''to draw a right line from every point, to every point'', follows the definition, which says, that ''a line is the flux of a point'', and a right line ''an indeclinable and inflexible flow''.&lt;!--p. 6--&gt;
** Book III. Concerning Petitions and Axioms.

* ''If two right lines cut one another, they will form the angles at the vertex equal''.  ...&lt;br /&gt;This... is what the the present theorem evinces, that when two right lines mutually cut each other, the [[w:Angle#Vertical and adjacent angle pairs|vertical angles]] are equal. And it was first invented according to [[w:Eudemus of Rhodes|Eudemus]] by [[Thales]]...
** Proposition XV. Thereom VIII.

* ''To a given right line to apply a parallelogram equal to a given triangle in an angle which is equal to a given right lined angle''.&lt;br /&gt;According to the Familiars of [[w:Eudemus of Rhodes|Eudemus]], the inventions respecting the ''application'', ''excess'', and ''defect'' of spaces, is ancient and belongs to the [[w:Pythagoreanism|Pythagoric]] muse. But junior mathematicians receiving names from these, transferred them to the lines which are called conic, because one of these they denominate a parabola, but the other an hyperbola, and the third an ellipsis; since, indeed these ancient and divine men, in the plane description of spaces on a terminated right line, regarded the things indicated by these appellations. For when a right line being proposed, you adapt a given space to the whole right line, then that space is said to be ''applied'', but when you make the longitude of the space greater than that of the right line, then the space is said to ''exceed''; but when less, so that some part of the right line is external to the described space, then the space is said to be ''deficient''. And after this manner, [[Euclid]], in the sixth book, mentions both excess and defect. But in the present problem he requires application...
&lt;!--p.198--&gt;
** Proposition XLIV. Problem XII.

== Quotes about Proclus ==

* He is verbose and dull, but luckily he has preserved for us quotations from other and better authorities.&lt;!--p.112--&gt;
** [[W. W. Rouse Ball]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=egY6AAAAMAAJ A Short Account of the History of Mathematics]'' 4th edition (1908) [1st ed. 1888]

* What Science can be more accurate than Geometry? What Science can afford Principles more evident, more certain, yea I will add, more simple than Geometrical Axioms, or exercises a more strictly accurate Logic in drawing its Conclusions? But ''[[Aristotle]]'' and ''Proclus'' affirm that ''Unity'' (they had more rightly said Numbers) the Principle of Arithmetic, is more simple than a ''Point'' which is the Principle of Geometry, or rather of Magnitude. Because a Point implies Position, but Unity does not. ''A Point'', says ''Aristotle, and Unity are not to be divided, as Quantity: Unity requires no Position, a Point does''. But this Comparison of a ''Point'' in Geometry with ''Unity'' in Arithmetic is of all the most [[wiktionary:unsufferable#Adjective|unsufferable]], and derives the worst Consequences upon Mathematical Learning.
** [[Isaac Barrow]],  Cambridge mathematical lecture (ca. 1665) published  as ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=YJtEAAAAcAAJ Lectiones Mathematicae]'' (1683) and translated in ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=MwVbAAAAQAAJ The Usefulness of Mathematical Learning Explained and Demonstrated]'' (1734) Tr. John Kirkby, pp. 47-49.

* It is well known that the commentary of Proclus on Eucl. Book I is one of the two main sources of information as to the history of Greek geometry which we possess, the other being the ''[[w:Pappus of Alexandria#Collection|Collection]]'' of [[Pappus]].
** Sir [[Thomas Little Heath]], ''The Thirteen Books of Euclid's Elements'', &quot;Proclus and His Sources&quot; (1908) [https://books.google.com/books?id=UhgPAAAAIAAJ Vol. 1]. p. 29.

* We shall often... have occasion to quote from the so-called 'Summary' of Proclus... Occupying a few pages &lt;!--(65-70)--&gt;of [https://books.google.com/books?id=AD1WAAAAYAAJ Proclus's ''Commentary on Euclid'', Book I], it reviews, in the briefest possible outline, the course of Greek geometry from the earliest times to [[Euclid]], with special reference to the evolution of the [[Euclid’s Elements|Elements]]. At one time it was often called the 'Eudemian summary', on the assumption that it was an extract from the great ''History of Geometry'' in four Books by [[w:Eudemus of Rhodes|Eudemus]], the pupil of [[Aristotle]]. But a perusal of the summary itself is sufficient to show that it cannot have been written by Eudemus; the most that can be said is that, down to a certain sentence, it was probably based, more or less directly, upon data appearing in Eudemus's ''History''.&lt;!-- p. 118--&gt;
** Sir [[Thomas Little Heath]], ''A History of Greek Mathematics'', [https://books.google.com/books?id=h4JsAAAAMAAJ Vol. 1] (1921)

* ''The [[w:Porism|Porisms]]''.&lt;br /&gt;Our only source of information about the nature and contents of the ''Porisms'' is [[Pappus]]. ...With Pappus's account of Porisms must be compared the passages of Proclus on the same subject. ...Proclus's definition... agees well enough with the first, the 'older', definition of Pappus. A porism occupies a place between a theorem and a problem; it deals with something already existing, as a theorem does, but has to ''find'' it (e.g. the centre of a circle) and, as a certain operation is therefore necessary, it partakes to that extent of the nature of a problem, which requires us to construct or produce something not previously existing. ...all the positive information which we have about the nature of a porism and the contents of [[Euclid]]'s Porisms ...is obscure and leaves great scope for speculation and controversy; naturally, therefore, the problem of restoring the ''Porisms'' has had a great fascination for distinguished mathematicians ever since the revival of learning. But it has proved beyond them all.&lt;!--pp. 431-435--&gt;
** Sir [[w:Thomas Little Heath|Thomas Little Heath]], ''A History of Greek Mathematics'' (1921) [https://books.google.com/books?id=h4JsAAAAMAAJ Vol. 1], Ch. XI Euclid, &quot;Lost Geometrical Works.&quot;

* Of his surviving works, the ''Commentary'', which treats Book I of Euclid's ''Elements'', is the most valuable. Proclus apparently intended to discuss more of the ''Elements'', but there is no evidence that he ever did so.&lt;!--p. 26--&gt;
** {{w|Morris Kline}}, ''Mathematical Thought from Ancient to Modern Times'' (1972)

* According to the account of Proclus (Book II. c. 4 ), [[Pythagoras]] was the first who gave to Geometry the form of a deductive science, by shewing the connexion of the geometrical truths then known, and their dependence on certain first principles.
** Robert Potts, ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=GLZjAAAAcAAJ&amp;pg=PR3 Euclid's Elements of Geometry]'' (1845) Introduction pp. iii-iv

* It is also problematical whether Proclus could have ever written such a clear, sober, and concise piece of work. His predominant interest in any subject, even mathematics, is always the [[Epistemology|epistemological]] aspect of it. He must ever inquire into the how and the why of the knowledge relevant to that subject, and its kind or kinds; and such speculation is apt with him to intrude into the discussion of even a definition or proposition.&lt;br /&gt;Moreover Proclus can never forego theologizing in the [[Pythagoras|Pythagorean]] vein. Mathematical forms are for him but veils concealing from the vulgar gaze divine things. Thus right angles are symbols of virtue, or images of perfection and invariable energy, of limitation, intellectual finitude, and the like, and are ascribed to the Gods which proceed into the universe as the authors of the invariable providence of inferiors, whereas acute and obtuse angles are symbols of vice, or images of unceasing progression, division, partition, and infinity, and are ascribed to the Gods who give progression, motion, and a variety of powers.&lt;br /&gt;This epistemological interest and this tendency to symbolism are entirely lacking in our commentary; and another trait peculiar to Proclus is also absent, namely, his inordinate pedantry, his fondness of quoting all kinds of opinions from all sorts of ancient thinkers and of citing these by name with pedagogical finicalness. Obviously the author of our commentary had a philosophical turn of mind, but he was a temperate thinker compared with Proclus.
** William Thomson &amp; Gustav Junge, ''[https://archive.org/details/commentaryofpapp033370mbp/page/n41/mode/2up?view=theater The Commentary of Pappus on Book X of Euclid's Elements]'' (1930) Arabic Text and Translation by William Thomson with Introductory Remarks, Notes, and a Glossary of Technical Terms by Gustav Junge and William Thomson. [https://archive.org/details/commentaryofpapp033370mbp/page/n44/mode/1up?view=theater Introduction pp. 41-42.]

=== ''A History of Mathematics'' (1893) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[[Florian Cajori]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=kqQPAAAAYAAJ source]&lt;/small&gt;

* A full history of Greek geometry and astronomy during this period written by [[w:Eudemus of Rhodes|Eudemus]], a pupil of Aristotle, has been lost. It was well known to Proclus, who, in his commentaries on [[Euclid]], gives a brief account of it. This abstract constitutes our most reliable information. We shall quote it frequently under the name of ''Eudemian Summary''.&lt;!--p.17--&gt;

* About the time of [[Anaxagoras]], but isolated from the [[w:Ionian School (philosophy)|Ionic school]], flourished [[w:Oenopides|Œnopides]] of [[w:Chios|Chios]]. Proclus ascribes to him the solution of the following problems: From a point without, to draw a perpendicular to a given line, and to draw an angle on a line equal to a given angle. That a man could gain a reputation by solving problems so elementary as these, indicates that geometry was still in its infancy, and that the Greeks had not yet gotten far beyond the Egyptian constructions.&lt;!--p.19--&gt;

* A scholiast on [[Euclid]], thought to be Proclus, says that [[w:Eudoxus of Cnidus|Eudoxus]] practically invented the whole of Euclid's fifth book.&lt;!--p.33--&gt;

* The term '[[w:Axiom|axiom]]' was used by Proclus, but not by [[Euclid]]. He speaks, instead, of 'common notions'—common either to all men or to all sciences.&lt;!--p.38--&gt;

* The regular solids were studied so extensively by the Platonists that they received the name of Platonic figures The statement of Proclus that the whole aim of Euclid in writing the Elements was to arrive at the construction of the regular solids is obviously wrong The fourteenth and fifteenth books treating of solid geometry are apocryphal.&lt;!--pp.38-39--&gt;

* Extracts... made by Proclus indicate that [[Ptolemy]] did not regard the [[w:Parallel postulate|parallel-axiom]] of Euclid as self-evident, and that Ptolemy was the first of the long line of geometers from ancient time down to our own who toiled in the vain attempt to prove it.&lt;!--p. 58--&gt;

* Pappus... is the author of a ''Commentary on the Almagest'', a ''Commentary on Euclid's Elements'', a ''Commentary on the Analemma of Diodoru''s,—a writer of whom nothing is known. All these works are lost. [[w:Proclus|Proclus]], probably quoting from the ''Commentary on Euclid'', says that Pappus objected to the statement that an angle equal to a right angle is always itself a right angle.&lt;!--p.58--&gt;

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* @Google Books (public domain)
** ''The Philosophical and Mathematical Commentaries of Proclus on the First Book of Euclid's Elements'' [https://books.google.com/books?id=7Y2ZHuNW2KIC Vol. 1] (1788), [https://books.google.com/books?id=2SBeEnT45gsC Vol. 2] (1789)

* @Internet Archive
** ''The Philosophical and Mathematical Commentaries of Proclus on the First Book of Euclid's Elements'' [https://archive.org/details/philosophicalan01marigoog Vol. 1] (1788), [https://archive.org/details/philosophicalan00marigoog Vol. 2] (1789)

{{Ancient Greek schools of philosophy}}

[[Category:Mathematicians from Greece]]
[[Category:Philosophers from Greece]]
[[Category:Mystics]]
[[Category:5th century births]]
[[Category:0485 deaths]]
[[Category:People from Istanbul]]
[[Category:0412 births]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Ben 10: Ultimate Alien (season 2)</title>
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----
:'''Seasons:''' [[Ben 10 (2005) (season 1)|1]] [[Ben 10 (2005) (season 2)|2]] [[Ben 10 (2005) (season 3)|3]] [[Ben 10 (2005) (season 4)|4]] | [[Ben 10 (2005 TV series)|Main]] | ''[[Ben 10: Alien Force|Alien Force]]'' ([[Ben 10: Alien Force (season 1)|1]] [[Ben 10: Alien Force (season 2)|2]] [[Ben 10: Alien Force (season 3)|3]]) / ''[[Ben 10: Ultimate Alien|Ultimate Alien]]'' ([[Ben 10: Ultimate Alien (season 1)|1]] [[Ben 10: Ultimate Alien (season 2)|2]] [[Ben 10: Ultimate Alien (season 3)|3]]) / ''[[Ben 10: Omniverse|Omniverse]]'' ([[Ben 10: Omniverse (season 1)|1]] [[Ben 10: Omniverse (season 2)|2]] [[Ben 10: Omniverse (season 3)|3]] [[Ben 10: Omniverse (season 4)|4]] [[Ben 10: Omniverse (season 5)|5]] [[Ben 10: Omniverse (season 6)|6]] [[Ben 10: Omniverse (season 7)|7]] [[Ben 10: Omniverse (season 8)|8]]) / [[Ben 10 (2017 TV series)|''Ben 10'' (2017 Reboot)]]
----
The following is a list of quotes from the second season ''[[Ben 10: Ultimate Alien]]''.

==Episodes 21-32)==
===The Transmogrification Of Eunice===
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': You guys act like a couple of ten-year olds!
:'''Kevin Levin''': Ten year olds can't drive.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': (''over the communicator'') Neither can you, grandma!
:'''Kevin Levin''': Wanna make this interesting? Last one to the campsite has to do the cooking.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': You're on, I want pancakes.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': (''sensing Eunice'') I don't sense any injuries.
:'''Kevin Levin''': Yeah, she looks pretty healthy to me too. (''Gwen elbows him'') Ow! What? 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50&quot;%/&gt;
:'''Eunice''': I'm fun even if I don't have memory?
:'''Ben Tennyson''': It'll come back. Don't force it. Anyway you're more fun than Kevin.
:'''Kevin Levin''': I'm right here, dude. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Eunice''': You're not very good at flirting.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': How would you know? You have total memory loss.
:'''Eunice''': True, but I wasn't born yesterday. 
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Sorry. I won't happen again.
:'''Eunice''': I said it was awful. I didn't say stop.  	

&lt;hr width=&quot;50&quot;%/&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Julie broke up with me.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': No. She said you might as well be broken up.
:'''Kevin Levin''': Same difference.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Two to one majority. Don't wait up.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kevin Levin''': (''to Gwen'') You're treating her like a fifth wheel. Wasn't that long ago I was the one trying to fit with you and your cousin. So be nice. (''Gwen stares at him'') What?
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Sometimes you make sense.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kevin Levin''': This is going to be fu-u-un!
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': A minute ago you were trying to get out of camping and now it's gonna be fun? Are you working some sort of angle?
:'''Kevin Levin''': Gwen, I know it's important to you that we all spend some &quot;quality time together,&quot; I want what you want.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': If you're working some sort of angle, so help me, I'm gonna hurt you.
:(''Kevin sniggers'')

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Eunice''': [''about a rabbit''] Want to pet him?
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Does it bite?
:'''Eunice''': No. I'm pretty sure that bear you were going to fight for me does though.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': That's different.
:'''Eunice''': If you want to be scared of the bunny, I won't judge. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Where's Eunice?
:'''Kevin Levin''': Man, you cannot keep a girlfriend. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Come here often?
:'''Eunice''': You've all been so nice to me. And now I've brought you into this.
:'''Kevin Levin''': What is &quot;this&quot;? What does Sunder want from you?
:'''Eunice''': I honestly don't know. I've been trying to remember but I can't.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Maybe something from your ship?
:'''Kevin Levin''': Could be. When we found you, I'm pretty sure you weren't carrying anything.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': (''sternly'') Kevin.
 	
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Sunder.
:'''Sunder''': Tennyson. If I'd known it was you, there wouldn't have been a warning shot.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Guess that's where you made your first mistake. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sunder''': You want to know who you are? I can tell you. I can even take you home.
:'''Eunice''': You can?
:'''Ben Tennyson''': EUNICE! STAY AWAY FROM HIM!
:'''Sunder''': Don't you want to know who you are - or rather - what?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sunder''': You really thought you could beat me?
:'''Ultimate Cannonbolt''': Well, yes.
:'''Sunder''': Last mistake you'll ever make.
:'''Kevin Levin''': He'll make plenty more mistakes! ...That didn't come out right.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sunder''': Never did get even with you for sending me to the Null Void.
:'''Ultimate Spidermonkey''': &quot;Get even&quot;? You cut my hand off!
:'''Sunder''': Stop whining. You got it back! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Azmuth sees Ultimate Cannonbolt, Gwen, Kevin and Eunice struggling with Sunder in mud]''
:'''Azmuth''': Wallowing in the mud. Why am I not surprised?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': You can't store a human being!
:'''Azmuth''': She's not human. She's a construct. No more alive than any of you transformations. She's not real.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Who are you to say that?! My transformations are real and she's ''way'' more human than you are!
:'''Azmuth''': The Unitrix is dangerous. I cannot let her roam around unsupervised. I'm sorry, Ben.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': ''[threatened with anger]'' I'll fight you, Azmuth!
:'''Azmuth''': ''[smiles]'' I believe you would.

===Eye of the Beholder===
:'''Humungousaur''': You said we should see each other. Sounds simple to me.
:'''Julie Yamamoto''': I said &quot;Considering how little time you have for me, we might as well be broken up.&quot;
:'''Humungousaur''': That is not my fault! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Humungousaur has just agilely jumped on the back of a Forever Knights robot]''
:'''Humungousaur''': I know, I'm nimble for a big guy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': I told you it was the Forever Knights.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': I don't see how these things fit into the whole King Arthur theme.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Maybe they're supposed to be horses?
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Anyway, I thought they broke up last year.
:'''Kevin Levin''': Don't think so.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': We'll ask them about it, after we kick their cans!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kevin Levin''': Smooth move Romeo. You sure showed her.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Showed her what?
:'''Kevin Levin''': You don't know either, huh?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': ''[Voice-over, while the aftermath of his battle with the Forever Knights is shown]'' So I let her go, I guess I shouldn't have. But I still have Forever Knights to thrash! And after that, there's always the press... But, you know, they're &quot;ditchable&quot;,...kind of. You don't have to do their interviews, but they still thrash you on their stupid cable-shows. I guess there's no way to escape the things that really matter. Like Julie... ''[Voice-over ends, Ben is seen lying down on a bed]'' She says that I don't spend enough time with her, that I take her for granted. ''[angry]'' But I can't just drop everything whenever I want! I have responsibilities! I'm a famous superhero! ''[Camera zooms out to reveal Jimmy sitting next to Ben, eating peanuts]''
:'''Jimmy Jones''': I see. Peanuts?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Julie Yamamoto''': I appreciate this.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Don't worry about it. We're glad to help.
:'''Kevin Levin''': Besides we are all up to here with Ben. I mean if he says &quot;I saved the whole entire universe&quot; one more time, I'm gonna go psycho!
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Again?
:'''Kevin Levin''': It's just an expression.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': And yet I still feel the need to check.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Baz-El''': Look, I told you I thought this place was just an old ruin.
:'''Strabismus''': This is our most revered place!
:'''Baz-El''': Yes, well you don't take very good care of it, do you? From the looks of it, I assumed you were all extinct.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Strabismus''': Blasphemer! Don't you realize that by destroying the altar, you've awakened the sentinels?
:'''Ben Tennyson''': I who'd the what now? [''the sentinels start moving''] Aw man! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': This is ridiculous. (''stumbles on the terrain'') Whoa! I flew halfway across the galaxy just so Julie can tell me to buzz off again? I don't deserve this. I'm a world famous hero!
:'''Kevin Levin''': You're a world famous jerk!! Woah! (''absorbs the ground and creates cleats for his shoes'') That's better. And if you weren't such a jerk, maybe she wouldn't have dumped you in the first place!
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Oh, and now ''you're'' the expert on feelings?
:'''Kevin Levin''': No, I'm an expert on jerks!
:'''Ben Tennyson''': You know I don't have to take that from--Yah! (''slips, Kevin smiles'')

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lead Alien''': Stop, you imbecile!
:'''Brainstorm''': &quot;Imbecile&quot;? I dare say I have greater intellectual capacity in my left claw than you have in your entire species!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Julie Yamamoto''': Is he going to-
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Shhhhh! I need to concentrate. My magic doesn't work well on technology. (''hears Kevin chewing'') What are you doing?
:'''Kevin Levin''': Eating.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': So I heard.
:'''Kevin Levin''': It's a fleen cake, want some?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': [''as Julie's fighting''] Need any help? [''Julie keeps fighting''] Okay then... so you... keep doing... you know that... And I'll go... help Baz-El.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Julie Yamamoto''': I appreciate this.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Don't worry about it, we're glad to help.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Baz-El''': Ero... when I can... I collect a few... souvenirs for profit. I call it my retirement plan. So shoot me.
:'''Kevin Levin''': Okay.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Kevin!
:'''Kevin Levin''': I might've been kidding. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ultimate Swampfire''': [''after Baz-El belches''] What is your problem?
:'''Baz-El''': I... have a very delicate stomach which does not respond well to stress or impending doom. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Baz-El''': (''mocking Julie'') Oh, he's a cannon! Now, he's a battle cruiser! Good boy, Ship!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': What'll it be Ship? Go with Baz-El so he can make a few bucks selling you or stay with Julie, who really cares about...
:'''Ship''': JULIE! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Hey, I know I'm a jerk sometimes-
:'''Gwen &amp; Kevin''': &quot;Sometimes&quot;?
:'''Ben Tennyson''': ''[angry]'' I got this! '' But... you're the only person in my life, ''[Looks at Gwen and Kevin]'' besides ''them'', who isn't impressed by all that other stuff. You know the real me, faults and all and that's okay with you. Kinda..
:'''Julie Yamamoto''': &quot;Kinda.&quot; You promise you'll do better?
:'''Ben Tennyson''': (''with a nervous smile'') I promise I'll try.
:'''Julie Yamamoto''': (''smiling'') Then I'll try too.

===Vicktor: The Spoils===
:'''King Xarion''': Did you truly think that anything occurs within these walls without my knowledge? Show it to me!
:'''Prince Gyla''': It is magnificent father. And once we resurrect Dr. Viktor, no power on earth can stand against our might!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prince Gyla''': All of our enemies will bow down before me - before you.
:'''King Xarion''': You will be king someday, my son. But before that day comes - you have much to learn.
:'''Prince Gyla''': You speak like a diplomat. If it wasn't for your weakness, mother would still be alive!
:'''King Xarion''': How dare you!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Echo Echo''': Echo Echo! I was going for Jetray but whatever. (''Blows the missiles up but keeps falling'') Oh no! (''Goes Ultimate'')
:'''Ultimate Echo Echo''': Ultimate Echo Echo! (''Blows up the rest of the missiles'')

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': What do you need a teleporter for?
:'''Kevin Levin''': Lets see. Breaking into bad guy's headquarters, escaping from bad guy's traps, uhh... saving money on spaceship fuel.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': okay, point taken. But Gwen can teleport us with her &quot;magic&quot;.
:'''Kevin Levin''': It makes her tired.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': It does not!
:'''Kevin Levin''': And cranky... (''smiles'')
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': You make me cranky!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': A small but strategically important monarchy. They're in the middle of a civil war.
:'''Kevin Levin''': No problem. Ben can take care of that over the weekend.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': I learned my lesson the last time. This time we've got a more focused mission.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Your son's the guy trying to take over? I thought it was the rebels.
:'''King Xarion''': The list of those who would have this throne is long, but the prince is the only one I fear.
:'''Kevin Levin''': You ask me, that kid needs a serious time out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Just once, I'd like to sneak in and out of a place without getting into a fight.
:'''Kevin Levin''': If we had a teleporter pod...
:'''Big Chill''': Oh give it a rest, will ya.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Doctor Viktor.
:'''Big Chill''': Or what's left of him.
:'''Kevin Levin''': I wonder what did this to him. (''Gwen and Big Chill stare at Kevin'') When I dumped him in the Null Void he was still alive. Seriously.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prince Gyula''': (''about Dr. Viktor'') He's an empty shell, existing only to do my bidding. (''activates remote'') Destroy them!
:'''Big Chill''': How'd I know he was gonna say that?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': [''after freeing the King''] Wait you can't leave us here.
:'''King Xarion''': Once you hear what I've done, you'll thank me for leaving you here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': [''after Gwen puts a shield around Ben''] Thanks.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Hadn't really thought it through, had you?
:'''Ben Tennyson''': I prefer to say I trusted in your initiative.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dr. Viktor''': Another tank? Bring a hundred!
:'''Heatblast''': I'm fresh out of tanks, your Highney! But I am bringing the heat!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kevin Levin''': This is for shooting me in the back and for making me miss out on a sweet pre-owned teleporter pod!
:'''Heatblast''': Will you punch him already?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Never thought I'd say this, but this guy make me nostalgic for the old Dr. Viktor. Think you can get the Rustbucket airborne?
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': If he can't, I will.
:'''Kevin Levin''': If we had a teleporter pod, it wouldn't be a problem.

===The Big Story===
:(''Sevenseven tries to slash Gwen but is stopped by Rath'')
:'''Rath''': You did not just do that! Let me tell you something, Sevenseven, intergalactic bounty hunter for hire- (''Sevenseven twists his arm around and pushes Rath away'') Ooh! Karate! I'm gonna call you karate man! Can I call you karate man, karate man? Tell you what, karate man! I'll hold real still, like a stack of boards, and you can meditate till your ready to chop me in half! Okay! (''Sevenseven pauses, then slashes at Rath, then Rath grabs Sevenseven'') I lied! You know what's the difference between me and a pile of boards? Boards don't hit back! (''Rath throws Sevenseven into a control panel'') Now... I'm mad. (''Rath cracks knuckles'')

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jimmy Jones''': I had video but I think the plant must've taken it when it retreated into the cave. I'd figured you'd want to, uh, check my work.
:'''Kevin Levin''': Yeah, I'm out.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': I have studying to do, Jimmy. Maybe next conspiracy.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': ...Okay, okay, I'll check it out. My car's still in the shop. Think you could give us a ride. (''Kevin and Gwen drive off'')
:'''Jimmy Jones''': I can't believe you don't have a bus pass. That should be Plumber standard issue.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Yeah, I'll make a note.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': (''to the alien plant'') Your will is my command.
:'''Jimmy Jones''': (''Gasps'') Ben's in on it?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Now you're saying Ben is part of the conspiracy? This is a shadowy blob. No credible person would ever take this as real proof.
:'''Will Harangue''': (''Cut to TV studio'') Welcome back to the Will Harangue Nation. Our guest today - Jimmy Jones. The 10 year old Jimmy, the boy who exposed Ben Tennyson for the menace that he is.
:'''Jimmy Jones''': Uh that-that's not exactly...
:'''Will Harangue''': Don't talk over me, Jimmy. Now Jimmy has a new equally startling claim. Ben Tennyson is leading and alien invasion to take over the entire Earth.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Plant Humungousaur''': You can't hide from me, Jimmy. I only want to take you out for a smoothie - not crush you into a fine powder.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jimmy Jones''': Why are you doing this?
:'''Plant Humungousaur''': I want to give you an exclusive. A real reporter would risk everything to get to the truth.
:'''Jimmy Jones''': A real reporter follows his hunches. And I have a hunch I wouldn't live to post my story.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': It's okay, we checked out the cave, Jimmy. We know. Where are you?
:'''Jimmy Jones''': North side Sav Cost. You can't miss me. I'm the kid on a red bike WITH AN ALIEN CHASING HIM!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Plant Kevin Levin''': I've said it before and I'll say it again. I would be happy to silence this creature for once and for all.
:'''Plant Ben Tennyson''': The master wants to know why it couldn't absorb him earlier.
:'''Plant Gwen Tennyson''': If there are others with his natural resistance, we need to know how it works.
:'''Plant Kevin Levin''': So I can take him out after, right?
:'''Jimmy Jones''': (''sees the real Ben, Gwen and Kevin inside the pods'') You're not Ben at all - or Gwen and Kevin!
:'''Plant Ben Tennyson''': No, we're perfect copies, right down to our DNA.
:'''Plant Kevin Levin''': But better than the originals, which were lame.
:'''Plant Gwen Tennyson''': We're in complete harmony.
:'''Plant Ben Tennyson''': Soon there will be no war.
:'''Plant Gwen Tennyson''': No disease. No hunger.
:'''Plant Kevin Levin''': No fun.
:'''Plant Ben Tennyson''': The world will be a garden. And everything will be a garden.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': They don't have our powers.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': But my double has the Ultimatrix.
:'''Plant Ben Tennyson''': Yes, I do.
:[''Activates the Ultimatrix'']
:'''Plant Chromastone''': Chromastone!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Ben, you've got to get the Ultimatrix back!
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Yeah, I'll work on that when I'm not getting shot at.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Caesar later, alligator. Like Caesar salad. Cause they're plants.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': One against four. Well, it's clearly not a chicken salad.
:'''Kevin Levin''': Okay, stop. I can't let a battle pun be the last thing I hear.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jimmy Jones''': (''Groan'') I didn't video any of this. Stupid! Who's going to believe me now?
:'''Ben Tennyson''': We will. Jimmy, you're a real reporter.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Yeah, from now on, we'll know to take you seriously.
:'''Kevin Levin''': No matter how nutty you sound. &quot;Nutty,&quot; see what I did there?
:(''Ben and Jimmy laugh'')
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Really? Why is it funny when he does it?
:'''Ben Tennyson''': I think it's the delivery.

===Girl Trouble===
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Come on, Kevin! Can't you drive any faster?
:'''Kevin Levin''': Is that supposed to be a trick question?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': But Mom!
:'''Natalie Tennyson''': It's already settled, Gwen. Your cousin Sunny is staying with us for the summer.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Why?
:'''Natalie Tennyson''': What are you complaining about? You used to love playing with her.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': We were 3 years old. I don't even really remember her.
:'''Sunny''': ''[settling down on the couch between Ben and Kevin]'' Hello, boys. I'm Sunny.
:'''Kevin Levin''': We heard.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Hi. I'm your cousin Ben.
:'''Sunny''': Well, that's boring. [''to Kevin''] You got a name muscles?
:'''Kevin Levin''': (''blushes'') Kevin.
:'''Sunny''': What do you do around her for fun, Kevin?
:'''Ben Tennyson''': He hangs out with his girlfriend - Gwen.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': This is a really bad idea.
:'''Natalie Tennyson''': I didn't ask for your approval, Gwendolyn. Your cousin's taken up with a bad crowd, so her parents asked us to keep her here for the summer. They think you'll be a good influence on her.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': I wish everybody would stop saying that about me.
:'''Natalie Tennyson''': With that attitude of yours, they'll stop soon enough.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sunny''': (''to Kevin'') Muscles, do you say romantic things to Gwen?
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Oh! One time, he stared deep into her eyes, and she said: &quot;what?&quot;, and he said: &quot;You've got an eye booger.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sunny''': [''Chuckling''] No point in saying anything romantic to Gwen anyway. She's a boring goody-goody who never does anything fun, right? I'm right, right?
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Well once my cousin was annoying and I kicked her out of the car, and she had to walk home. That was fun.
:'''Sunny''': Are you telling me to-?
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': GET OUT OF THE CAR!
:'''Ben Tennyson''': That's a relief. For a second there, I thought she was talking to me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kevin Levin''': [''about Sunny''] She's pretty powerful. How come you can't do that?
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Because SHUT UP!
:'''Kevin Levin''': Haven't looked at it like that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sunny''': [''to Kevin''] What do you see in her, muscles? She's so goody-goody. I mean wouldn't you have more fun with a wild girl.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': I'm right here, Sunny!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kevin Levin''': [''about Sunny''] Your cousin would make a great member of the...
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Absolutely not!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sunny''': Face it, cuz. You're outclassed!
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Like you know anything about class.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': [''as Gwen is trying to restrain Sunny''] This is a personal matter between Gwen and Sunny.
:'''Kevin Levin''': We should respect their privacy.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': [''Ben and Kevin start to leave. Gwen yells at them''] Get back here!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lodestar''': Lodestar!
:'''Kevin Levin''': You sure turning into a magnets is the best move in a particle accelerator?
:'''Lodestar''': Beats me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sunny''': I'm not going anywhere. My parents won't let me do anything. They only sent me to this awful planet to keep me and Antonio apart. But I just figured something out. [''Sunny sheds her skin revealing her Anodite form''] Nobody on this planet can make me do anything!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': I'm serious, Sunny. You've had your fun. It's time to go home.
:'''Sunny''': MAKE ME!
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': I hoped I wouldn't have to. I'm sorry it had to come to this, but you leave me no choice... I'm telling your mom and dad.
:'''Sunny''': NO!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kevin Levin''': (''mimicking Gwen'') &quot;Kevin, shut down the particle accelerator! Kevin, disarm the fusion bomb!&quot; (''in his normal voice'') If this thing blows up, I'm never speaking to those guys again.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Antonio''': Did she hurt you, Sunny? I thump her good!
:'''Humungosaur''': Humongosaur! [''Humungosaur attack Antonio''] Nobody picks on Gwen but me!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Kevin, can you shut down the accelerator?
:'''Kevin Levin''': I don't know, you need like a PhD to use one of these things.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Figure it out!
:'''Kevin Levin''': Nope. Nope. Nope. Aw, just forget it. (hits control panel and particle accelerator shuts down) Huh what do you know?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': I'm not as powerful as you are. I'll give you that. ''[Sunny laughs]'' But Grandma Verdona on the other hand…
:'''Sunny''': ''[turns around to see Grandma Verdona appearing in sight]'' Grandma? No! I'm not going back! You can't make me!
:'''Verdona''': Oh, do be quiet. I am so cross with you right now. ''[traps Sunny in a force field]'' How an energy being ended up being such a spoiled brat is beyond me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kevin Levin''': [''Entering''] Bomb's disarmed. Hi scary grandma.
:'''Verdona''': Never lose your moxie, Kevin.
:'''Kevin Levin''': Sure thing. [''to Ben''] What's moxie?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kevin Levin''': Your family is weird.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': [''Scoffs''] All families are weird.
:'''Kevin Levin''': Uh huh. Your cousin left her skin on the floor of the particle accelerator.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': It's kind of a sliding scale.

===Revenge of the Swarm===
:''Note'': This episode is set 1 year after the live action film ''[[w:Ben 10: Alien Swarm|Ben 10 Alien Swarm]]'' movie.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:[''At Ben's room, Ben is sleeping until he woke up and noticed a shadow behind the curtain and the shadow left. Ben opened the curtain and sees nobody. Ben then went to sleep. Ben got woken up by someone's voice'']
:'''Victor''': Did you think you could get rid of us that easily?
:'''Ben''': ''[Waked up and comes face to face with Victor]'' Validus! What do you want?
:'''Victor''': This isn't about the microchips or even the queen and her hive. We understand why you did that to us.
:'''Ben''': Then what?
:'''Victor''': We're here because of what you wanted to do to Elena!
:'''Ben''': I-I don't understand!
:'''Victor''': Don't lie to me Ben! A father can tell. ''[Releases his tentacles to grab Ben]''
:''[Ben activated the Ultimatrix and turns into Humungousaur]''
:'''Humungousaur''': Humungousaur! ''[We zoom out revealing he's small as Grey Matter]'' Uh oh. ''[Runs and slides under the pillow. Victor's tentacle picks him up]'' Validus please! I never wanted to hurt Elena.
:'''Victor''': We didn't say you wanted to hurt her. ''[Turns into a swirl and Humungousaur is thrown into nothingness]''
:''[Ben wakes up, realizing it was only just a dream. Ben later used the bathroom and got out. He opened the curtain and sees Victor standing outside. Ben turns into Cannonbolt]''
:'''Cannonbolt''': Cannonbolt! [''Jumps out the window and onto Victor who then lift him up with his tentacles. Cannonbolt then turns into Goop'']
:'''Goop''': Goop! [''Splats into Victor who then turns into Nanochips and escapes into the sewers. Goop then picks 1 Nanochips up from the sewers and reverts to Ben'']
:''[At Mr. Smoothy's, Ben talks to Gwen and Kevin about his dream of his encounter with Victor]''
:'''Ben''': I must've seen his shadow on the curtain and that's what made me dream about him.
:'''Kevin''': You ask me. The whole thing was a dream.
:'''Gwen''': I liked the part where Humungosaur was really small. I was reading about how dreams reveal what we're really afraid of.
:'''Ben''': It was not a dream! Well the part... about being little was but...
:'''Kevin''': Keep telling yourself that bud.
:'''Gwen''': Ben. Victor Validus was cured a long time ago.
:'''Kevin''': And those alien microchips that were controlling him all got flushed when you killed the queen and her hive.
:'''Ben''': Yeah? Then what's this? ''[shows them a Nanochip]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Ben and his team arrive at Plumbers' Academy talking to one of the Galvin teachers about Elena's whereabouts]''
:'''Galvin Teacher''': Where was I? Oh, yes -- Elena. One of our best students, she would've made an excellent plumber, someday.
:'''Ben''': Did she say why she was leaving?
:'''Galvin Teacher''': Lead with the left Drax. Then left. Elena was shattered by her father's death as you might imagined. She couldn't concentrate on school.
:'''Gwen''': Maybe she'll be back when she gets over it.
:'''Galvin Teacher''': I don't think so. When her father passed, she went back to Earth and took over his research on the alien microchips. No one alive knows more about them than she does.
:'''Ben''': That's why I'm trying to find her.
:'''Kevin''': [''Imitating Ben''] &quot;That's why I'm trying to find her&quot;.
:'''Ben''': It is why.
:'''Kevin''': Admit it. You just wanna see her again.
:'''Ben''': Hey. Elena and I we're just friends. That's all.
:''[The trio arrive at Elena's lab back on Earth]''
:'''Elena''': ''[Opens the door; surprised]'' Ben Tennyson! ''[Hugs Ben]''
:'''Kevin''': ''[Scoffs]'' &quot;Just friends&quot;.
:'''Elena''': Come in. Let me show you around. ''[Escorts Ben inside as Gwen and Kevin followed]'' Most of this came from my father's lab. The rest I built myself.
:'''Ben''': ''[amazed]'' Incredible -- really incredible.
:'''Elena''': My dad set the bar pretty high.
:'''Gwen''': Elena are you sure you should be doing this?
:'''Elena''': What? Studying the alien microchips? How could I not?
:'''Gwen''': You know how dangerous they are? They can reproduce themselves, take over living bodies.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Elena''': Ben i'd like to help, but what i'm doing here, it's just too important... Maybe you could help me. This could change the whole world you know?
:'''Kevin''': [''about the nanites''] These could change the whole world too, but not in a good way.
:'''Gwen''': Ben's gotta help us find where they came from. He doesn't have time to be a lab rat. Right Ben? [''Ben doesn't respond''] Ben?
:'''Ben''': Uh right… right.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[At Ben's house, Ben is doing his homework when he hears a doorbell ringing. He opens the door to see Julie standing at the doorway.]''
:'''Ben''': Hey Julie.
:'''Julie''': I was just passing by, but if you're busy or something&amp;ndash.
:'''Ben''': Doing homework if you can believe it. Come on in.
:'''Julie''': You look kind of upset.
:'''Ben''': It's this problem I'm working on.
:'''Julie''': Calculus?
:'''Ben''': I wish. Then I could just con you into doing it for me. It's like the answer's right in front of me, but I can't see it.
:'''Julie''': What is the problem exactly? A case?
:'''Ben''': Yeah. Microchips. I'll show you.
:''[Ben takes his jacket from the couch, but realizes that the Nanochip is gone.]''
:'''Julie''': What's the matter?
:'''Ben ''': Kevin has it. ''[Ben runs out the door, but stops and turns to Julie.]'' You know, it feels like I'm&amp;ndash; always running off somewhere doesn't it?
:'''Julie''': It's starting to.
:'''Ben''': Can we get together tomorrow night for sure?
:'''Julie''': ''[Smiles]'' I'd like that.
:''[Ben runs off, with Julie looking on.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Gwen''': Did you see the face Elena made when Ben mentioned Julie?
:'''Kevin''': That's just the way girls are. You've gotta take advantage, play one against the other. ''[Gwen glared at him]'' At least that's what my friends say.
:'''Gwen''': Which friends?
:'''Kevin''': The ones I don't see anymore?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Kevin''': Elena and Ben.
:'''Gwen''': What about them?
:'''Kevin''': They're interested in each other. Anybody can see that, but she's going to be a problem.
:'''Gwen''': Oh?
:'''Kevin''': Elena's the type who makes guys think she cares about them, but once they start to care about her, poof! She's gone. I've seen the type before, lots'a times. ''[Gwen glared at him]'' I mean i've heard about them from friends. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Egor''': Who are you?
:'''Gwen''': We're just looking for Validus. We don't want to hurt you.
:'''Kevin''': Speak for yourself.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Egor''': I am Janitor idiot boy.
:'''Kevin''': Then how do you explain… (''Shows Egor the wig'') This!
:'''Egor''': For hiding. (''Puts his wig back on'') When hair started to fall out, that's how I explain. (''Stares Kevin's hair'') Maybe you need 1 some day too.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Kevin''': Doesn't seem a little coincidental that Validus would suddenly drop dead after everything that happened?
:'''Egor''': Anyone can die anytime. Even you smart guy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Gwen''': Kevin. Maybe an apology would work.
:'''Kevin''': No way. This guy's gotta know something.
:'''Gwen''': Why? That's how it works on TV?
:'''Egor''': I do know nothing. All I do is clean up Victor's lab and then help crazy daughter move equipment.
:'''Gwen''': Wait a minute. Why do you think Elena is crazy?
:'''Egor''': When she talks, she say &quot;We&quot; or &quot;Us&quot; when it's just her. What does she thinks she is? Queen of England? (''Walked away'')
:'''Gwen''': No not the queen of England. The Nanite Queen.
:'''Kevin''': I thought the queen was dead.
:'''Gwen''': Long live the queen.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Julie''': [''as Ben is being attacked by nanites''] Is this what you want?
:'''Elena''': It… must be.
:'''Julie Yamamoto''': NO! Whatever's left of Elena couldn't want this!
:'''Elena''': Julie… we can't stop.
:'''Julie''': Then you never really cared about Ben!
:'''Elena''': We did. I did!
:'''Julie''': Isn't there some part of you left, the real you, that cares enough to stop this?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Ben runs to the force field entrance]''
:'''Ben Tennyson''': ''[Devastated]'' Oh, no.
:'''Julie''': That wasn't Elena. The nanites got her a long time ago.
:'''Ben''': You're wrong. There was enough of my friend left to save my life. Goodbye Elena.
:[''Ben and the others left Elena's lab. On the floor, the Nanochips somehow spring to life'']

===The Creature From Beyond===
:''Note'': Gwen casts nonverbal magic spells in this episode.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': You're not driving us down?
:'''Kevin Levin''': Gravel will chip my paint.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': We're setting the hero bar kind of low tonight.
:'''Kevin Levin''': Told you to take Ben's car.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Cyrus''': [Aiming his weapon at Ben] Right, nobody move - or the changeling suffers. [''to Ben''] Raise your hands above your head.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': If you say so. [''Ben raises his hands and activates the Ultimatrix'']
:'''Humungousaur''': Humungo... [''Humungousaur bumps his head on the ceiling''] Ow!
:'''Sir Cyrus''': Stay back!
:'''Humungousaur''': Hey! It's the middle of the night. I just hit my head and you are really annoying me!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': That was so rude!
:'''Kevin Levin''': Me? Rude? To who? Squire Wiffle?
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Winston!
:'''Kevin Levin''': I can't bother to remember, he's not important enough.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Mhmm... jealous?
:'''Kevin Levin''': Of What? His dumb name, his dumb accent or his dumb dress?
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': It's a tunic!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': [''to the creature''] I haven't beaten anybody up in about 20 minutes. If you don't let go of that Policeman right now, that's gonna change!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kevin Levin''': Listen Gwen I can't... I mean we can't afford to lose you... the team, you know.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Oh, I... umm... (''to Ben'') Help me out here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Cyrus''': They've changed direction. And they haven't found the tracking device in Winston's ruck sack. First we kill the beast, then our truce with Ben Tennyson comes to an end - as does his life. I swear in the name of the First Knight - victory will be ours!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''':  Guess we'd better let the Knights know where we are.
:'''Kevin Levin''': Seriously? 
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Well, I did say I would. 
:'''Kevin Levin''': Yeah, but you didn't say when.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Good point. We'll call them after it's all over.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': You two should be in politics. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Armodrillo''': ''[to the Lucubra's zombified victims]'' Come on people, back off! We don't wanna hurt you!
:'''Kevin Levin''': To be honest, I am considering it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': I felt a ripple in the mana. I thought we should check it out.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': I think I felt a ripple back in my room. You guys take the mana, and I'll investigate my bed. (''Gwen glares at him'') Fine. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kevin Levin''': (''After being saved by Goop'') (''to Gwen'') You okay?
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Of course she's not okay! She's not complaining on how disgusting Goop is.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': I am done with waiting!
:[''Starts to enter the building'']
:'''Sir Cyrus''': So are we. [''Gwen stops''] Let them weaken the creature, then we can attack in force.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': I'm going to help my friends!
:'''Sir Cyrus''': You'll have to go through us first.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': I was hoping you'd say that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Cyrus''': Hold fire!
:'''Kevin Levin''': &quot;[holding up an unconscious knight]&quot; Hey, wake up and stop fighting.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kevin Levin''': (''After Winston is freed'') Well, hooray for you. Now go buy yourself a cookie.
:'''Winston''': We call them biscuits.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Cyrus''': Squire Winston, step away from the alien scum!
:'''Ben Tennyson''': I think he's talking about us.
:'''Kevin Levin''': After all we've meant to each other.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:(''While Gwen was watching Winston leaving'')
:'''Kevin Levin''': (''To Gwen'') Ok... he's cute... I get it.

===Basic Training===
:'''Kevin Levin''': That doesn't look like a metal.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': ''[reading the message]'' &quot;Because you received your Plumber commodations during a field engagement, your required training is incomplete. Please report to academy 2814 for field certification courses.&quot;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Wait. We have to go to school?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': What is the Plumber Academy gonna teach us? It's not like we haven't saved the whole entire universe already.
:'''Kevin Levin''': Give it a rest, Tennyson. If this is what it takes to keep our badges, then this is what we'll do.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': This is awesome! Look at the classes we get to take: Weapons and Tactics, Interstellar Law, Cultural Sensitivity.
:'''Kevin Levin''': Started strong, but then you lost me.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': …Starship Maintenance. (''Kevin smiles'')
:'''Ben Tennyson''': And you got him right back.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Brannigan''': There's been a Null Void breakout. So Magister Hulka wants all new recruits in their bunks and accounted for. You don't want to make him ''and'' me mad on the same day. Do we understand each other, larval dipteroid?
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Oooh. Big mistake.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Brannigan, you just bought yourself a nose full of Humungousaur!
:'''Kevin Levin''': [''keeps Ben from activating the Ultimatrix''] We're going Tennyson. You're not getting us thrown out of here on the first day.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Wait. You're holding me back?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tack''': He saved us. You are the greatest Plumber of all!
:'''Magister Hulka''': He's a larval dipteroid! He disobeyed orders!
:'''Ben Tennyson''': I was supposed to let the grenade get you?
:'''Magister Hulka''': You were supposed to do what I tell you! You'd know that if you were ever listening in class.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kevin Levin''': What? The magna-lock went bad and it was set on overload instead of stun. Gwen's right.
:'''Magister Hulka''': Go back to your barracks.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Someone's out to get you, sir, aren't they? Or you wouldn't let Tack be out of your sight, would you?
:'''Magister Hulka''': Mind... your own... business.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kevin Levin''': Whole place is on lockdown. Breaking curfew is against orders.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': It's like I don't even know you anymore.
:'''Kevin Levin''': Being a Plumber isn't something you mess around with. If you screw this up, you and I are going to get into it!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kevin Levin''': [to Gwen after they've been captured during a battle drill] You gonna handle these clowns, or should I? [''Gwen takes down the squad''] [''To the fallen squad''] Don't blame yourselves. She's devious.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kolar''': You ruined my life!
:'''Magister Hulka''': You ruined it yourself, Kolar! Plumbers got honor. You've got nothing.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': You... pushed him into a sun?
:'''Magister Hulka''': I did not. I changed the arrival address to a Null Void penitentiary. Plumbers are law enforcement, not judges. Don't ever forget that!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': I can't believe I only scored a 98.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Out of a hundred, Gwen. Try and unclench.
:'''Kevin Levin''': It only takes a 72 to pass which I exceeded. How about you, Ben?
:'''Ben Tennyson''': 95. People think I'm not paying attention, but I am.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': My 98 is starting to look really weak.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': This is me not paying attention.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Magister Hulka''': To my considerable amazement, you all completed the course. So it's official. You're Plumbers.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': But we knew that already. So what you really came here for was to thank me for saving your life, didn't you? Go on. It won't hurt.
:'''Magister Hulka''': [''Hulka puts a medal on Ben's chest''] Your shuttle leaves for home in 5.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Wait. What's this for?
:'''Tack''': [''Reading the medal''] &quot;For demonstration of a Plumber's most essential attribute - the ability to exercise latitude and creativity in problem solving.&quot; Whoa!
:'''Kevin Levin''': Sounds like a &quot;Thank you&quot; to me.

===It's Not Easy Being Gwen===
:'''Natalie Tennyson''': I'm not judging them, but let's face it - polite people don't glow.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': I glow.
:'''Natalie Tennyson''': Not around me.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': ...So no Tennysons at all? Not even Ben or Grandpa?
:'''Natalie Tennyson''': Ben's table manners leave a bit to be desired and Grandpa Max dresses like he's on vacation in Vegas.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kevin Levin''': [''Pulling up his car''] You never called me back.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': [''Getting in the car''] No time for lunch. I need to stop at Office Mania then swing by my house. My mom needs something.
:[''Gwen notices Kevin's shirt is torn and gasps'']
:'''Kevin Levin''': I found Animo.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Ben was right about checking pet stores.
:'''Kevin Levin''': Did you know that he can get a pass to go off campus anytime he wants?
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': I didn't even know you could buy frogs at the pet store.
:'''Kevin Levin''': Snake food.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Just because you don't go to school, I don't want you to go up against Animo without me.
:'''Kevin Levin''': You know about that?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kevin Levin''': I was in the Null Void for a long while. By the time I'd got out, I'd kind of outgrown fifth grade.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': But I also know how smart you are. There isn't a piece of tech in the whole galaxy you can't strip and rebuild by hand.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Maybe you could go for a High School Equivalency Degree.
:'''Kevin Levin''': A G.E.D.?
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Sure, I'll find out what you need to do. Help you study.
:'''Kevin Levin''': Always room for another project, huh?
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': If I wanted to take it easy. I'd go live with my grandpa. I'm not about to let anyone down.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Is this about you and Ben?
:'''Emily''': It's not that I hate your cousin.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Come on! It was one date. How bad could it have been?
:'''Emily''': You left me at the top of a radio tower!
:'''Ben Tennyson''': For you own safety.
:'''Emily''': 200 feet above the ground.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': You couldn't have fallen - I webbed you to it.
:'''Emily''': (''to Gwen'') You're right. I do hate your cousin!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dr. Animo''': While the Plumbers held me. I had time to plot my revenge. So I've scaled up my Transmodulator Ray and overclocked it. THE ENTIRE EARTH WILL BE...
:'''Cannonbolt''': My cousin's on a schedule. Can we skip this part and move directly to the terrific beating I'm about to give you?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Natalie Tennyson''': Your father's getting dinner. Kevin called and I asked him and Ben to join us. Help set the table. How was your day, Gwenny?
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Oh, you know, the usual.

===Ben 10,000 Returns===
:'''Ben 10,000''': Sure it's all fun and games until someone loses and eye.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Eon''': Impressive. In all my years hunting alternative versions of you, I've never met one with your abilities. Still I shouldn't be surprised, considering...
:'''Ben 10,000''': Considering what? Why are you doing this Eon? When we fought before we...
:'''Eon''': THAT WASN'T ME, TENNYSON! And soon it won't have been you!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Eon''': Any last words, Tennyson? I'm collecting them.
:'''Ben 10,000''': I've got two words for you. (''activates Omnitrix'') Ultimate Humungousaur!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Professor Paradox''': Hello Ben.
:'''Ben 10,000''': Good to see you, Paradox. Love how you don't show up until it's all over.
:'''Professor Paradox''': It's far from over, old friend. It's barely begun.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': It's either an uncatalogued alien, or yet another feature I can't figure out - or it's broken again.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kevin Levin''': [''after Gwen takes down a ninja''] Wow! You learned that in Karate School?
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Saw it in an old movie.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Professor Paradox?
:'''Professor Paradox''': Hello children.
:'''Kevin Levin''': Who's your friend?
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Are you...?
:'''Ben 10,000''': That's right Ben, I'm you. Only even more awesome. (''after shaking Ben's hand'') Ben 10,000 at your service.
:'''Kevin Levin''': I've heard about you, you're the jerk from the future.
:'''Ben 10,000''': I'm a different Ben 10,000, but I do remember going to that future back when we were ten. What a buzzkill that guy was!
:'''Ben Tennyson''': You're my real future?
:'''Professor Paradox''': Yes. If nothing occurs to change it. That's why I've - bent the rules of time and brought you here

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Professor Paradox''': You traveled into Cross Time.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Like a parallel world?
:'''Professor Paradox''': Exactly.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': That's why the me in the future didn't remember it happening to him.
:'''Ben 10,000 and Kevin Levin''': But you remember all of this.
:'''Ben 10,000''': Yeah, I do.
:'''Kevin Levin''': Okay, don't do that again.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ben 10,000 saves the Rust Bucket from crashing]''
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': You just landed a spaceship!
:'''Ben 10,000''': From the ''outside''. Don't forget the cool part.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': How do you do that without transforming?
:'''Ben 10,000''': I haven't bothered to for years. Not since I discovered my best transformation.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Ultimate Ben?
:'''Ben Tennyson''': What power comes with that?
:'''Ben 10,000''': Pretty much all of them. You'll figure it out someday.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Professor Paradox''': There are rules, Kevin. I cannot interfer.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Excuse me. But aren't you already interfering?
:'''Professor Paradox''': Touche... Actually I've just come to give young Ben a warning. But that can wait.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Until what?
:'''Professor Paradox''': Until I see if you survive.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': (''when discovering that Eon's servants are versions of him'') This raises some questions.
:'''Kevin Levin''': Yeah, like where did you learn Nin-Jitsu?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Eon''': Tennyson, prepare to die.
:'''Ultimate Swampfire''': Maybe later.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ultimate Swampfire''': How about you explain yourself? Why attack me over and over?
:'''Eon''': Our paths are intertwined. In this and every other timeline.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Professor Paradox''': I won't allow that Eon!
:'''Eon''': You cannot interfere, timewalker. And you why.
:'''Professor Paradox''': True. But if you dare procede there is nowhere in all of space and time you can hide from me.
:'''Eon''': I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. Now I have a couple of Ben Tennysons to absorb.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben 10,000''': There you go. I've just unlocked everything you've ever become up until now.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Really? Thanks.
:'''Ben 10,000''': I also threw in a few new ones because it'll annoy Azmuth when he finds out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Professor Paradox''': Time to go. But first a warning to my young friend. [''In an ominous voice''] Beware old George. Beware the creature from beyond. [''Cheerfully''] So long.

===Moonstruck===
:'''Ben Tennyson''': ''[Trying to fit the equipment into the Rust Bucket]'' How did you fit all this stuff in here?
:''' Grandpa Max''': Gradually, I haven't done spring cleaning in the Rustbucket since I got her. 
:'''Kevin Levin''': Except for when I blew it up…which I probably shouldn't mention. 
:'''Grandpa Max''': Just help carry the boxes outside and stack them up. 
:'''Ben Tennyson''': ''[unable to lift the box]'' Ehhh… Heavy! 
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Not if you take them one at a time. 
:'''Ben Tennyson''': I've got a better idea ''[activates Ultimatrix]'' 
:'''Fourarms''': FOURARMS! 
:'''Kevin, Gwen and Max''': Ben! 
:'''Grandpa Max''': You're too big to be in here! 
:'''Fourarms''': No, I'm not!
:''[sounds of glass breaking]''
:'''Grandpa Max''': Ben!
:'''Fourarms''': Sorry, sorry. I'm going. ''[gets stuck in the door and is kicked out by Kevin]'' Thanks a lot, Kevin.
:'''Kevin Levin''': Anytime.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Why do you have a woman's bracelet?
:'''Grandpa Max''': It's not exactly jewelry, Gwen. It belonged to your grandmother. Long story. [''the team sits down. Max sighs''] I was about Kevin's age. A rookie with the Tactical Air Command.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Colonel''': You think the laws of physics don't apply to you, Tennyson?! F-104s are rated for Mach 2. You were pushing Mach 3! Do you know what happens when an F-104 goes that fast?! [''They both look at the burning wreckage of Max's jet''] IT FALLS APART!
:'''Young Max Tennyson''': Sir, if you'd give me a chance to ex--
:'''Colonel''': No! No more chances! No more excuses! You are through! I am kicking your butt off this base and out of the Air Force!
:'''Major General''': Excuse me, Colonel. I'll take it from here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Major General''': So, do you know why President Kennedy wants to send us to the moon?
:'''Young Max Tennyson''': Because of the Russians?
:'''Major General''': No. Because of the kind of thing you saw today. I don't know what you tangled with, but I do know it was real. Of course, officially, we deny everything.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Major General''': On the other hand, you've been cited repeatedly for insubordination.
:'''Young Max Tennyson''': Only when my Commanding Officers were wrong... sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Young Max Tennyson''': How's your chili?
:'''Florence''': Pretty bad.
:'''Young Max Tennyson''': That's my favorite kind. I'll take a double order.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Young Max Tennyson''': The pickings are looking pretty slim in here.
:'''Young Verdona''': [''Approaching Max''] I'm gonna try and not take that personally.
:'''Young Max Tennyson''': ...Hello. Present company accepted, of course.
:'''Florence''': I'll let you two get acquainted. [''Florence leaves'']
:'''Young Max Tennyson''': I'm Max.
:'''Young Verdona''': Verdona.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Young Verdona''': Fine. What you said before was correct. I'm not from around here. I'm from another planet. And that man chasing me isn't a man at all. He's actually from a race of sentient robots called &quot;Synthroids.&quot;
:'''Young Max Tennyson''': Oh. Why didn't you say so?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Young Verdona''': Well, I have certain... how shall I put this?... Abilities.
:'''Young Max Tennyson''': So why don't you use them?
:'''Young Verdona''': I can't. The Synthroid put this on my arm. [''Verdona shows Max a bracelet''] It locked me in this form and neutralizes most of my powers.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Young Max Tennyson''': Then you can tell when the robot's getting close.
:'''Young Verdona''': Telepathy only works with living beings. The Synthroid is a machine. But I did read your mind.
:'''Young Max Tennyson''': In the diner? It wouldn't take superpowers to tell what I was thinking, doll.
:'''Young Verdona''': Not then. When you were chasing us in your fighter jet.
:'''Young Max Tennyson''': You were in the UFO?
:'''Young Verdona''': A captive. Then you shot it down, and I escaped. But I knew that I had to find you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Synthroid''': What is one life compared to the survival of my species?
:'''Young Max Tennyson''': The way I see it, any life is precious. But you wouldn't understand that because you're really alive, are you? Anyway, YOU CAN'T HAVE HER!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Young Max Tennyson''': And... this is what you really look like?
:'''Young Verdona''': Does my true form displease you?
:'''Young Max Tennyson''': No. On you it's a good look.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Young Verdona''': Why settle for the moon when I can give you the stars?
:'''Young Max Tennyson''': You can't give me what I want. I have to take it. It wouldn't be the same if I didn't do it myself. Do you understand?
:'''Young Verdona''': You are a stubborn man, Max Tennyson.
:'''Young Max Tennyson''': I always say, it's a sin to waste talent.
:'''Young Verdona''': I won't argue. Because I know I can't convince you. But I promise - we will meet again.
:'''Young Max Tennyson''': I'm counting on it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kevin Levin''': (''snores, but then is punched by Ben'') What'd I miss?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Grandpa Max''': [''Holding on to Verdona's bracelet and looking to the stars''] Good night, Verdona. Wherever you are.

===Prisoner #775 Is Missing===
:(''Ben turns into Swampfire'') 
:'''Swampfire''': Swampfire! (''lights a campfire'')
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Ben, that's overkill.
:'''Swampfire''': No. It's Swampfire. I don't have an alien named &quot;Overkill&quot;. 'Cause if I did, I'd, you know, shout: &quot;Overkill!&quot;.
:'''Kevin Levin''': What's with the shouting names thing anyway?
:'''Swampfire''': It strikes fear into my enemies.
:'''Kevin Levin''': ...You go right on believing that, bud.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Grandpa Max''': Well, it's local business. The first step should be for the Air Force to send in their own investigators.
:'''Cooper Daniels''': They did. But whatever they learned, we'll never find out from them, Magister Tennyson. Nobody knows techology like I do, and I've never seen anything like it.
:'''Grandpa Max''': All right, Cooper, I'll be right there. [''Gwen clears her throat''] We'll be right there.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kevin Levin''': The Plumbers really need to upgrade their rides, I mean look at this thing! No power, lousy security system.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': You want one, don't you?
:'''Kevin Levin''': Yeah...
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Maybe for your birthday.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Grandpa Max''': Perhaps you could enlighten us, Colonel.
:'''Colonel Rozum''': Sorry Max. It's above your paygrade.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Then my grandfather gets a raise right now or we walk!
:'''Colonel Rozum''': You're gonna let him talk to me like that, Max?
:'''Grandpa Max''': I'll let him know when he says something I disagree with... Okay, then.
:[''Everyone turns to leave'']

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Colonel Rozum''': You haven't said much.
:'''Grandpa Max''': I'm trying not to throttle you. This holding facility of yours is nothing but a prison. Earth is a level 2 world. And a privisonary signatory of the Kelly-Casey Accords. You have no rights...
:'''Colonel Rozum''': Rights? Don't talk to me about rights with all the alien terrorists you fought. You know the dangers they present. You should be thanking me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:(''Ben transforms into Big Chill'') 
:'''Big Chill''': Big Chill! (''he passes through the floor'')
:'''Kevin Levin''': (''to Cooper'') When he shouted his name just then, did it strike fear into you?
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Not now, Kevin.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben''': Time for Humungousaur! ''[Transforms into Rath]'' 
:'''Rath''': '''''RATH!! FINE, RATH'S BETTER ANYWAY!! HEY, HEY, LEMME TELL YA SOMETHIN', MR. ALIEN PRISONER!! NOBODY GOES UNLESS RATH SAYS THEY CAN GO!! BECAUSE RATH GOES BEFORE EVERYBODY!! SO DON'T GO, YO!!!''''' ''[Jumps and holds on to the ship]'' '''''AAAH!! IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT, STOLEN PLUMBER SHIP?!! 'CAUSE RATH'S GOT TONS MORE!! IN FACT, I'VE GOTTA GIVE YOU SOME OF MINE, SO IT'LL BE A FAIR FIGHT!! AND AFTER THAT, EVERYTHING I GAVE YOU I CAN TAKE IT BACK AGAIN!! AND MAKE YOU LIKE IT!! '''''
:'''Kevin Levin''': ''[looks at Rath]''  You know, Rath is the only alien that makes me wanna get a box of popcorn, kick back and just watch.
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Kevin, this isn't the time for- Okay, me too.
:'''Rath''': '''''AAAH!! GIVE UP, STOLEN PLUMBER SHIP!! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE FORM RATH!! YAAH!!''''' ''[Extends his claw, starts tearing the ship apart. The ship begins to crash]'' '''''CRASHING'S GOOD TOO!! RATH CAN CRASH ALL DAY!!''''' ''[The part of the ship Raths holds on to tears off, Rath falls down]'' '''''OH, NOW YOU'RE USING GRAVITY!! WELL FORGET IT!! GIVE UP, GRAVITY!! YOU CAN'T BEAT RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATH...!!''''' ''[Slams into the ground]''
:''[Gwen and Kevin approach the Rath-shaped hole]''
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Ben! Ben, are you all right?
:'''Rath''': ''[Crawls out of the hole, breathes heavily and shakes his head]'' '''''LEMME TELL YA SOMETHIN', STUPID RATH-SIZED HOLE!! RATH WILL DESTROY YOU!!''''' ''[Starts stomping the ground]''
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Oh for crying out loud! Ben!
:'''Rath''': (''Pauses, then kicks dust at the hole'') What? (''Gwen gives him a stern look'') Sorry.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:(''Ben helps an officer get up and sit'')
:'''Officer''': Ben... Tennyson... My daughter's nuts about you...
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Yeah? She's cute?
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': Ben!
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Sorry!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kevin Levin''': It's fail-safe - in case a plumber's ship is crashed and then abandoned. I'm on it. Don't worry.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': You sure?
:'''Kevin Levin''': Plumber override. [''Kevin uses his badge to override the fail-safe''] I said &quot;don't worry.&quot; [''the fail-safe starts up again''] Now you can worry.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ben tries to transform]''
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Uh, Goop? ''[Transforms into Humungousaur]''
:'''Humungousaur''': Humungousaur! Hah! Finally! Okay, no one has to get hurt. ''[Prisoner #775 pushes a car towards him, it slams into Humungousaur's leg]'' Wow, a little car. ''[Slams it away]''  You'll have to do better than-  ''[Prisoner #775 pushes a truck towards him.]'' Oh, truck!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prisoner 775''': Leave me be! I intend to balance the scales!
:'''Kevin Levin''': You wanna balance scales? Go on a diet!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prisoner 775''': I no longer have a home. While I rotted away in your prison, the revolution was lost! My mate, my children - gone - all gone. This is nothing left to live for.
:'''Kevin Levin''': There's always something to live fore. You could even the score.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Absolutely. You could seek justice.
:'''Prisoner 775''': Justice? Yes. Those who wronged me should die - beginning with Colonel Rozum.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Remember, this guy could be totally innocent of everything.
:'''Kevin Levin''': He stole a ship. He's no &quot;innocent&quot;.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': You really wanna stack your rap sheet against his, Kevin?
:'''Kevin Levin''': Just sayin'...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ben transforms into Wildmutt]''
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': ''[deep voice]'' Wildmutt! ''[Wildmutt and Kevin look at her]'' What? He can't talk! Somebody had to do it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prisoner 775''': You're going to live Rozum. Just long enough to see what it's like to lose your family.
:'''Colonel Rozum''': They have nothing to do with this.
:'''Prisoner 775''': Neither did mine.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prisoner 775''': Lease your overgrown pet! He's no match for me!
:''[Wildmutt slams his Ultimatrix]'' 
:'''Ultimate Wildmutt''': Ultimate Wildmutt!
:'''Gwen Tennyson''': I was gonna do that for you!
:'''Ultimate Wildmutt''': Tell you what, you can clean up what's left of him.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prisoner 775''': Do it. Finish me. Come on! Let me join my family. Do it. Do it!... PLEASE do it! Please finish me. I've got... nothing.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ultimatrix''': DNA scanned and recognized. Merlinisapiens. Unlocked and available on Playlist 5.
:'''Ben Tennyson''': Hey guys! Check it out! (''activates Ultimatrix'')
:'''ChamAlien''': Overkill! Well? Well?
:(''Gwen and Kevin walk away'')
:'''ChamAlien''': Too soon?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Grandpa Max''': You still don't get it, Colonel. Earth's in violation of Interstellar law. You don't seem to realize the enormity of what you've done.
:'''Colonel Rozum''': I realize it fine, Max. And under the same circumstances, I'd do the *exact* same thing. When it comes to choosing between a few hundred aliens and my country, it's a no-brainer.

==External links==
{{wikipedia|Ben 10: Ultimate Alien}}
[[Category:American television seasons]]
[[Category:Ben 10]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The Loud House</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>194984</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158518</id>
      <parentid>3154980</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T14:09:55Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>162.197.99.132</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="6969" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:''' [[The Loud House/Season 1|1]] [[The Loud House/Season 2|2]] [[The Loud House/Season 3|3]] [[The Loud House/Season 4|4]] [[The Loud House/Season 5|5]] [[The Loud House/Season 6|6]] ([[The Loud House|Main]]) | '''[[The Casagrandes|Casagrandes]]''' (Seasons [[The Casagrandes/Season 1|1]] [[The Casagrandes/Season 2|2]] [[The Casagrandes/Season 3|3]])
----
'''''{{w|The Loud House}}''''' (2016–present) is an American [[w:animated television series|animated television series]] created by [[w:Chris Savino|Chris Savino]] for [[w:Nickelodeon|Nickelodeon]]. The series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of an accident-prone boy named Lincoln Loud, who survives as the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.

A spin-off series, entitled ''[[The Casagrandes]]'', feature Ronnie Anne Santiago and her extended Casagrande family living in Great Lakes City.

== Shorts ==

== Seasons ==
::[[The Loud House/Season 1|Season 1]]
::[[The Loud House/Season 2|Season 2]]
::[[The Loud House/Season 3|Season 3]]
::[[The Loud House/Season 4|Season 4]]
::[[The Loud House/Season 5|Season 5]]
::[[The Loud House/Season 6|Season 6]]

==Film==
*[[The Loud House Movie]]

==Spin-off episodes==

===''[[The Casagrandes/Season 1#The Horror-Scope (4.2)|The Horror-Scope]]''===

===''[[The Casagrandes/Season 1#Flee Market (8.1)|Flee Market]]''===

===''[[The Casagrandes/Season 1#Cursed! (Episode 19)|Cursed!]]''===


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:'''Bobby''': ''[on video chat with Lori, showing her his injuries]'' These are scratches from the feral cats, and this is freezer burn from being trapped with the ice cream. Oh, and these are bruises from the pizza explosion. And I don’t know why there’s a fish in my pants! ''[pulls a fish out of his pants, shriveling and moaning, and tosses it aside]''
:'''Lori''': Aw, my boo-boo bear is full of boo-boos. At least your adorable nose is still intact.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:'''Ronnie Anne''': Abuela, we can't just pack up and leave. Where would we even go?
:'''Rosa''': I'm sorry, mija, but we must leave ASAP.
:'''Lori''': Bobby, I'm already home for the weekend. You guys should stay with my family. Then I could literally see your Boo-Boo Bear face in person. ''[kisses the camera]''
:'''Bobby''': You hear that, Abuela? Can we stay with the Louds? Please, please, please, please, please?
:'''Rosa''': Really, Lori? Are you sure that's OK with your family?
:'''Lori''': Oh, they'll be totally cool with it.
:'''Rita and Lynn Sr.''': We are totally ''not'' cool with it.
:'''Lori''': Come on, guys. They need our help.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Kiddo, we'd never turn our backs on the Casagrandes, but-
:'''Rita''': There's so many of us, and so many of them, and so many of us! Maybe it would be best if we called them and- ''[Doorbell rings]''
:'''Lincoln''': They're here, they're here, they're here! ''[rushes to the door]''
:'''Rita''': Of course they are.
:'''Ronnie Anne''': ''[holding a tray of tamales as Lincoln opens the door]'' Hey, Lincoln!
:'''Casagrandes''': Hola, familia Loud!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:''[Nighttime]''
:'''CJ''': See? Who needs the bathroom?
:'''Ronnie Anne''': Yeah. We have the sink all to ourselves.
:''[Luna, Luan, Carl, and Lola show up brushing their teeth too]''
:'''CJ''': I’m brushing here.
:'''Lola''': ''[as her toothbrush is bumped by Carl]'' My princess toothbrush! How dare you!
:'''Ronnie Anne''': On the bright side, we don’t have to sleep on the floor. ''[later, laying on Lucy’s bed, sandwiched between her grandparents]'' On second thought, I’d rather sleep on the floor.
:'''Frida''': ''[in a coffin with Carlitos]'' At least you’re not in a coffin! ''[freaking out in horror]''
:''[The Casagrandes are all revealed sleeping in Lynn and Lucy’s room, most in coffins]''
:'''Lucy''': Goodnight. May you all sleep like the dead. ''[closes the door, Frida freaks out again]''
:'''Carl''': ''[groans]'' I want to go back home.
:'''Carlos''': I think it’s kind of fun. We can pretend to be the mummies of the ancient Pharaohs!
:'''Frida''': ''[shrieks]'' You’re not helping! ''[closes her coffin]''
:''[Carlota, Maria, and Lalo are sharing Lynn’s bed]''
:'''Carlota''': Stop drooling on me! ''[takes the comforter from Maria]''
:'''Maria''': Hey!
:''[Carlota and Maria both rip the comforter while fighting over it]''
:'''Carlota''': ''[as Sergio comes over and cuddles with her]'' Ugh. Are you kidding me?!
:'''Sergio''': ''[squawks; scared]'' Need a snuggle.
:'''Ronnie Anne''': Guys, it’s been a long day. Let’s just try to get some sleep.
:'''Bobby''': There’s something in the coffin with me! ''[gets a kiss on the cheek from Fangs as he emerges from the coffin and screams]''
:''[The Casagrandes all scream in panic]''
:'''Ronnie Anne''': Abuela, please. We can’t stay here. It’s too many people!
:'''Rosa''': ''Mija'', it might be hard, but at least we’re not in Bad Luck City.
:'''Ronnie Anne''': ''[as Hector falls on her off of Lucy’s bed, breaking a coffin]'' This is worse than bad luck.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:'''Carl''': I miss my choo-choo sheets.
:'''Lola''': I miss you not being here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:'''Ronnie Anne''': The only way we're going to the woods is if Abuela drags us kicking and screaming.
:''[Outside the Loud House, Rosa is carrying her kids kicking and screaming like Ronnie Anne said]''
:'''Frida''': Carlos, do something!
:'''Carlos''': Mama, be reasonable. ''[His mama gives him a dirty look]'' Oh, I hear the woods are lovely this time of year.
:''[Frida sighs]''
:'''Sergio''': ''[squawks]'' Mama's boy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:''[The Casagrandes are all at Flip’s getting gas]''
:'''Ronnie Anne''': As soon as that gas tank is full, our lives will be over.
:'''Carlota''': Think they have WiFi in the woods? ''[Carl, CJ, and Bobby roll their eyes; groans]'' Couldn't you let me live in hope?!
:'''Ronnie Anne''': May as well enjoy this last bit of civilization before we become forest people, I guess. I'm going to use a real bathroom while I still can.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;


===''[[The Casagrandes/Season 2#An Udder Mess (7.1)|An Udder Mess]]''===


===''[[The Casagrandes/Season 2#Prankaversary (13.2)|Prankaversary]]''===


==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Loud House, The}}
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American LGBT-related comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American LGBT-related comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s Nickelodeon original series]]
[[Category:2020s Nickelodeon original series]]
[[Category:Flash animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:LGBT-related animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Current shows]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:The Loud House]]
[[Category:Nicktoons]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about families]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about teenagers]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158519</id>
      <parentid>3158518</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T14:12:04Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>162.197.99.132</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="7039" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:''' [[The Loud House/Season 1|1]] [[The Loud House/Season 2|2]] [[The Loud House/Season 3|3]] [[The Loud House/Season 4|4]] [[The Loud House/Season 5|5]] [[The Loud House/Season 6|6]] [[The Loud House/Season 7|7]] ([[The Loud House|Main]]) | '''[[The Casagrandes|Casagrandes]]''' (Seasons [[The Casagrandes/Season 1|1]] [[The Casagrandes/Season 2|2]] [[The Casagrandes/Season 3|3]])
----
'''''{{w|The Loud House}}''''' (2016–present) is an American [[w:animated television series|animated television series]] created by [[w:Chris Savino|Chris Savino]] for [[w:Nickelodeon|Nickelodeon]]. The series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of an accident-prone boy named Lincoln Loud, who survives as the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.

A spin-off series, entitled ''[[The Casagrandes]]'', features Ronnie Anne Santiago and her extended Casagrande family living in Great Lakes City.

== Shorts ==

== Seasons ==
::[[The Loud House/Season 1|Season 1]]
::[[The Loud House/Season 2|Season 2]]
::[[The Loud House/Season 3|Season 3]]
::[[The Loud House/Season 4|Season 4]]
::[[The Loud House/Season 5|Season 5]]
::[[The Loud House/Season 6|Season 6]]
::[[The Loud House/Season 7|Season 7]]

==Film==
*[[The Loud House Movie]]

==Spin-off episodes==

===''[[The Casagrandes/Season 1#The Horror-Scope (4.2)|The Horror-Scope]]''===

===''[[The Casagrandes/Season 1#Flee Market (8.1)|Flee Market]]''===

===''[[The Casagrandes/Season 1#Cursed! (Episode 19)|Cursed!]]''===


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:'''Bobby''': ''[on video chat with Lori, showing her his injuries]'' These are scratches from the feral cats, and this is freezer burn from being trapped with the ice cream. Oh, and these are bruises from the pizza explosion. And I don’t know why there’s a fish in my pants! ''[pulls a fish out of his pants, shriveling and moaning, and tosses it aside]''
:'''Lori''': Aw, my boo-boo bear is full of boo-boos. At least your adorable nose is still intact.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:'''Ronnie Anne''': Abuela, we can't just pack up and leave. Where would we even go?
:'''Rosa''': I'm sorry, mija, but we must leave ASAP.
:'''Lori''': Bobby, I'm already home for the weekend. You guys should stay with my family. Then I could literally see your Boo-Boo Bear face in person. ''[kisses the camera]''
:'''Bobby''': You hear that, Abuela? Can we stay with the Louds? Please, please, please, please, please?
:'''Rosa''': Really, Lori? Are you sure that's OK with your family?
:'''Lori''': Oh, they'll be totally cool with it.
:'''Rita and Lynn Sr.''': We are totally ''not'' cool with it.
:'''Lori''': Come on, guys. They need our help.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Kiddo, we'd never turn our backs on the Casagrandes, but-
:'''Rita''': There's so many of us, and so many of them, and so many of us! Maybe it would be best if we called them and- ''[Doorbell rings]''
:'''Lincoln''': They're here, they're here, they're here! ''[rushes to the door]''
:'''Rita''': Of course they are.
:'''Ronnie Anne''': ''[holding a tray of tamales as Lincoln opens the door]'' Hey, Lincoln!
:'''Casagrandes''': Hola, familia Loud!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:''[Nighttime]''
:'''CJ''': See? Who needs the bathroom?
:'''Ronnie Anne''': Yeah. We have the sink all to ourselves.
:''[Luna, Luan, Carl, and Lola show up brushing their teeth too]''
:'''CJ''': I’m brushing here.
:'''Lola''': ''[as her toothbrush is bumped by Carl]'' My princess toothbrush! How dare you!
:'''Ronnie Anne''': On the bright side, we don’t have to sleep on the floor. ''[later, laying on Lucy’s bed, sandwiched between her grandparents]'' On second thought, I’d rather sleep on the floor.
:'''Frida''': ''[in a coffin with Carlitos]'' At least you’re not in a coffin! ''[freaking out in horror]''
:''[The Casagrandes are all revealed sleeping in Lynn and Lucy’s room, most in coffins]''
:'''Lucy''': Goodnight. May you all sleep like the dead. ''[closes the door, Frida freaks out again]''
:'''Carl''': ''[groans]'' I want to go back home.
:'''Carlos''': I think it’s kind of fun. We can pretend to be the mummies of the ancient Pharaohs!
:'''Frida''': ''[shrieks]'' You’re not helping! ''[closes her coffin]''
:''[Carlota, Maria, and Lalo are sharing Lynn’s bed]''
:'''Carlota''': Stop drooling on me! ''[takes the comforter from Maria]''
:'''Maria''': Hey!
:''[Carlota and Maria both rip the comforter while fighting over it]''
:'''Carlota''': ''[as Sergio comes over and cuddles with her]'' Ugh. Are you kidding me?!
:'''Sergio''': ''[squawks; scared]'' Need a snuggle.
:'''Ronnie Anne''': Guys, it’s been a long day. Let’s just try to get some sleep.
:'''Bobby''': There’s something in the coffin with me! ''[gets a kiss on the cheek from Fangs as he emerges from the coffin and screams]''
:''[The Casagrandes all scream in panic]''
:'''Ronnie Anne''': Abuela, please. We can’t stay here. It’s too many people!
:'''Rosa''': ''Mija'', it might be hard, but at least we’re not in Bad Luck City.
:'''Ronnie Anne''': ''[as Hector falls on her off of Lucy’s bed, breaking a coffin]'' This is worse than bad luck.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:'''Carl''': I miss my choo-choo sheets.
:'''Lola''': I miss you not being here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:'''Ronnie Anne''': The only way we're going to the woods is if Abuela drags us kicking and screaming.
:''[Outside the Loud House, Rosa is carrying her kids kicking and screaming like Ronnie Anne said]''
:'''Frida''': Carlos, do something!
:'''Carlos''': Mama, be reasonable. ''[His mama gives him a dirty look]'' Oh, I hear the woods are lovely this time of year.
:''[Frida sighs]''
:'''Sergio''': ''[squawks]'' Mama's boy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:''[The Casagrandes are all at Flip’s getting gas]''
:'''Ronnie Anne''': As soon as that gas tank is full, our lives will be over.
:'''Carlota''': Think they have WiFi in the woods? ''[Carl, CJ, and Bobby roll their eyes; groans]'' Couldn't you let me live in hope?!
:'''Ronnie Anne''': May as well enjoy this last bit of civilization before we become forest people, I guess. I'm going to use a real bathroom while I still can.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;


===''[[The Casagrandes/Season 2#An Udder Mess (7.1)|An Udder Mess]]''===


===''[[The Casagrandes/Season 2#Prankaversary (13.2)|Prankaversary]]''===


==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Loud House, The}}
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American LGBT-related comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American LGBT-related comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s Nickelodeon original series]]
[[Category:2020s Nickelodeon original series]]
[[Category:Flash animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:LGBT-related animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Current shows]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:The Loud House]]
[[Category:Nicktoons]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about families]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about teenagers]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Avatar: The Last Airbender (season 3)</title>
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    <revision>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-28T06:33:41Z</timestamp>
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      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="56564" xml:space="preserve">The following is a list of quotes from the third season ''[[Avatar: The Last Airbender]]''.

===The Awakening===
:''(Bato and Hakoda are talking, Katara runs up with tears in her eyes)''
:'''Bato''': I'll leave you two alone.
:''(Bato walks away)''
:'''Hakoda''': What's wrong, Katara?
:'''Katara''': He left!
:'''Hakoda''': What?
:'''Katara''': Aang! He just took his glider and disappeared. He has this ridiculous notion that he has to save the world alone, that it's all his responsibility!
:'''Hakoda''': Maybe that's his way of being brave.
:'''Katara''': It's not brave, it's selfish and stupid! We could be helping him, and I know the world needs him but doesn't he know how much that we need him too? How could he just leave us behind?!
:'''Hakoda''': You're talking about me too, aren't you?
:'''Katara''': ''(sobbing)'' How could you leave us, Dad? I mean, I know we had Gran Gran and she loved us but...but we were just so lost without you...
:'''Hakoda''': I'm so sorry, Katara.
:'''Katara''': ''(embracing her father)'' I understand why you left, I really do, and I know that you had to go. So...why do I still feel this way? I'm so sad and angry... and hurt.
:'''Hakoda''': I love you more than anything. You and your brother are my entire world. I thought about you every day I was gone, and every night, when I went to sleep, I would lie awake missing you so much it would ache.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''(Aang clutches to a piece of driftwood after losing his glider and being stuck in the ocean)''
:'''Aang''': I'm not gonna make it... I failed.
:''(Roku appears in a flash of lightning)''
:'''Aang''': Roku?
:'''Roku''': You haven't failed, Aang.
:'''Aang''': But everyone thinks I'm dead again... they think I've abandoned them. And I'm losing this war...I'm letting the whole world down.
:'''Roku''': If anyone is to blame for the state of the world, it is me. I should have seen this war coming, and prevented it. You inherited my problems...and my mistakes. But I believe you are destined to redeem me, and save the world.
:'''Aang''': I don't know...
:''(A beam of light shines over Aang and Yue appears in front of the moon)''
:'''Yue''': You already saved the world. And you'll save the world again. But you can't give up.
:'''Aang''': You're right, I ''won't'' give up.
:''(Aang creates a giant wave and uses the driftwood to begin surfing towards the Fire Nation, Yue increases the size of the wave and then recedes back into the moon)''
:''(In the next scene, Aang wakes up on a volcanic island with Momo on his chest. The rest of Team Avatar are running towards him with Katara in front)''
:'''Katara''': You're okay!
:''(Katara runs up and hugs Aang first, and is then followed by the rest of the group)
:'''Aang''': I have so much to do.
:'''Katara''': I know, but you'll have our help.
:'''Toph''': ''(jokingly)'' You didn't think you could get out of training just by coming to the Fire Nation did you?
:'''Aang''': What about the invasion?
:'''Sokka''': We'll join up with my dad and the invasion force on the day of the eclipse.
:'''Toph''': Hey! What's... ''(Toph grabs the broken shard of Aang's glider that washed up on shore)'' Oh, it's your glider.
:'''Aang''': That's okay. If someone saw it, it would give away my identity. It's better for now that no one knows I'm alive.
:''(Aang uses his airbending to leap up to a higher ledge on the island. He holds his glider and looks down at the lava covered rock, and then plunges his glider into the ground, where it begins to burn as he jumps away.)''

===The Headband===
:'''Headmaster:''' Thank you for coming, Mr. and Mrs...
:'''Sokka:''' Fire. Wang Fire. This is my wife Sapphire.
:'''Katara:''' Sapphire Fire, nice to meet you. 
:'''Headmaster:''' Mr. and Mrs.... Fire, your son has been enrolled here for two days, and he's already causing problems. He's argued with his history teacher, disrupted music class, and roughed up my star pupil.
:'''Katara:''' ''(in shock)'' My goodness, that doesn't sound like our Kuzon.
:'''Headmaster:''' That's what would any mother could say, Ma'am, nonetheless you're forewarned. If he acts up one more, I'll have him sent to reform school ''[standing up for emphasis]''! By which I mean the coal mines. Are we clear?
:'''Sokka:''' Don't you worry, Mr. Headmaster! I'll straighten the boy up with something fierce! ''(in a fierce tone)'' YOUNG MAN, AS SOON AS WE GET HOME, YOU'RE GONNA GET THE PUNISHMENT OF A LIFETIME!
:'''Headmaster:''' That's what I like to hear.
:''[Aang, Katara, and Sokka leave; with Sokka walking in a manly-like manner]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sokka''' ''(wearing his fake mustache)'': That's it! No more school for you, young man! ''(strokes his mustache)''
:'''Aang''': I'm not ready to leave yet. I'm having fun for once, just being a normal kid. You don't know what it's like, Sokka. ''You'' get to be normal all the time.
:'''Toph''': Ha ha. ''(Sokka narrows his eyes at Toph)''
:'''Aang''': Listen, guys, those kids are the future of the Fire Nation. If we want to change this place for the better, we need to show them a little of freedom.
:'''Sokka''': What could you ''possibly'' do for a country of depraved little fire monsters?
:'''Aang''': I'm gonna throw them... a secret dance party! ''(Aang does a silly little dance, and everybody stares at him)''
:'''Sokka''' ''(adult voice)'': Go to your room!

===The Painted Lady===
:'''Doc''': You know, you're ''(Katara)'' not so bad for a Waterbender.
:'''Sokka''': Yeah, you wouldn't mind keeping that a secret, would you?
:'''Doc''': No problem. Keeping my mouth shut is a specialty. But my brother, Shu on the other hand, oh, he's a blabbermouth! ''(Sokka slaps himself in the head)''
:'''Katara''': So, Doc, you ready to clean this river?
:'''Doc''': No, ma'am. I'm gonna get my other brother, Bushi. He loves cleaning rivers! ''(takes off his first hat and reveals another hat beneath)'' All right, I'm Bushi! Let's get to some river cleaning!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Aang''' ''(to the Painted Lady)'': I'm the Avatar! ''(he jumps down in front of her)''
:'''Katara''': ''(mysterious voice)'': Well, hello, Avatar. I wish I could talk, but I am very busy.
:'''Aang''': Yeah, me too; I hate that. ''(he looks at the Painted Lady, Katara tries to hide her face with her hat)'' You know, you're real pretty for a spirit. I don't get to meet many spirits. But the ones I ''do'' meet? Not very attractive. ''(Katara chuckles nervously)''
:'''Katara''': Thank you, but-
:'''Aang''': You seem familiar. ''(he looks at the Painted Lady again, but Katara still hides her face with her hat)''
:'''Katara''': A lot of people say that.
:'''Aang''': No. You ''really'' seem familiar.
:'''Katara''': Look, I really should get going. ''(Aang Airbends her hat off, Katara grabs it, and turns away)''
:'''Aang''': Katara?
:'''Katara''' ''(turning to face Aang; regretfully)'': Hi, Aang.
:'''Aang''' ''(points at Katara)'': ''You're'' the Painted Lady?! But how?
:'''Katara''': I wasn't at first. But since that's who everybody thought I was, I guess I kinda became her. ''(she drops her hat)''

===Sokka's Master===
:'''Sokka''': ''(referring to the bright stars overhead)'' It kinda makes you realize how insignificant we all are.
:'''Toph''': Meh, if you've seen nothing once, you've seen it a thousand times.
:''(a bright meteor suddenly heads earthward)''
:'''Sokka''': Oh, man! You've NEVER not seen anything like this!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Toph''': Sokka's coming! ''(sits up excitedly then tries to look casual about it)'' 
:'''Sokka''': Hey guys. How ya doin? ''(they all hug him)'' 
:'''Aang''': Sokka!
:'''Toph''': You're back!
:'''Katara''': We missed you so much.
:'''Aang''': Say something funny!
:'''Sokka''': Funny how? ''(Aang and Katara start laughing)'' What's their deal?
:'''Toph''': ''(turns away trying to seem casual)'' I don't know. They missed you or something... ''(blushes)'' I didn't care.
:'''Sokka''': Thanks. That warms my heart.

===The Beach===
:'''Ty Lee''': Thank goodness you're here, Azula.  These boys won't leave me alone.  I think they all just like me too much!
:'''Azula''': Oh come on, Ty Lee, you can't be this ignorant.
:'''Ty Lee''': What are you talking about?
:'''Azula''': Those boys only like you because you make it so easy for them.  You're not a challenge, you're a tease.  It's not like they actually care who you are.
:''(Ty Lee starts crying)''
:'''Azula''': Okay, okay, calm down.  I didn't mean what I said. Look, maybe I just said it, because I'm a little... ''(whispers)'' jealous.
:'''Ty Lee''': What? ''You're'' jealous of ''me''?  But you're the most beautiful, smartest, perfect girl in the world!
:'''Azula''': Well, you're right about all those things, but for some reason when I meet boys, they act as if I'm going to do something horrible to them.
:'''Ty Lee''': ''[chuckles]'' But you probably ''would'' do something horrible to them.  I'm sure they're just intimidated by you. Okay, look. If you want a boy to like you, just look at him, and smile a lot, and laugh at everything he says, even if it's not funny.
:'''Azula''': Well, that sounds really shallow and stupid... Let's try it!
:'''Ty Lee''': Okay. ''[puts on a boyish voice]'' Hey there, sweet sugar-cakes. How ya likin' this party?
:''[Azula does a loud and exaggerated laugh, getting everyone's attention]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Man''': ''[shocked]'' How broke my Nana's vase?! That's it! You're outta here!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Zuko tosses a portrait of him, his parents and Azula on the campfire]''
:'''Ty Lee''': (''startled'') What are you doing?
:'''Zuko''': What does it look like I'm doing?
:'''Ty Lee''':  But... it's a portrait of your ''family''.
:'''Zuko''': You think I care?
:'''Ty Lee''': I think you do-
:'''Zuko''': You don't know me, so why don't you just mind your own business?!
:'''Ty Lee''': ...I know you.
:'''Zuko''': No, you ''don't!''  You're stuck in your little Ty Lee world, where everything is ''great'' all the time!
:'''Mai''': Zuko, leave her alone.
:'''Zuko''': &quot;I'm so pretty, look at me!  I can walk on my hands! Woo!&quot; (''flops down in the sand, facing away'') Circus freak!
:''[Azula snickers]''
:'''Ty Lee''': (''tearful and angry'')  Yes, I'm a circus freak!  Go ahead and laugh all you want!  You wanna know why I joined the circus?
:'''Azula''':  Here we go...
:'''Ty Lee''':  Do you have any ''idea'' what my home life was like, growing up with six sisters who looked ''exactly'' like me?!  It was like, I didn't even have my own name!  I joined the circus because I was scared of spending the rest of my life as a matched set!  At least I'm different now! &quot;Circus Freak&quot; is a ''compliment!''
:'''Mai''':  I guess that explains why you need ten ''boyfriends'', too.
:'''Ty Lee''': I'm sorry, ''what?''
:'''Mai''':  Attention issues?  You couldn't get enough attention when you were a kid, so you're trying to make up for it now.
:'''Ty Lee''':   Well, what's ''your'' excuse, Mai?  You were an only child for ''fifteen'' years, but even with all that attention, your aura is just this dingy, pale, grey-
:'''Mai''':  I don't believe in ''auras''.
:'''Zuko''': Yeah... you don't believe in ''anything''.
:'''Mai''':  (''sarcastically'') Oh, well, I'm sorry I can't be as crazy and high-strung as the rest of you.
:'''Zuko''': I'm sorry, too; I wish you ''would'' be high-strung and crazy for once, instead of keeping all your feelings bottled up inside.  She just called your aura dingy, are you gonna take that?
:'''Mai''': What do you ''want'' from me?  You want a teary confession about how ''bad'' my childhood was?  Well, it wasn't.  I was a rich only child who got anything I wanted... as long as I behaved.  And sat still.  And didn't speak unless spoken to.  My mother said I had to keep out of trouble.  We had my dad's political career to think about.
:'''Azula''':  Well, that's it then: you had a controlling mother with certain expectations, and if you ''strayed'' from them, you were shut down.  That's why you're afraid to care about anything... and why you can't express yourself.
:'''Mai''': (''stands up, angry'')  You want me to express myself? ''LEAVE ME ALONE!''

===The Avatar and the Fire Lord===
:'''Zuko''': ''[confronting Iroh in his cell]''  ''You'' sent this, didn't you?!  I found the &quot;Secret History&quot;- which, by the way, should be re-named the &quot;History Most People Already Know!&quot; The note said I needed to know about my great-grandfather's death, but he was still alive in the end!
:'''Iroh''': No.  He wasn't.
:'''Zuko''': What are you talking about?
:'''Iroh''': You have more than one great-grandfather, Prince Zuko. Sozin was your father's grandfather. Your ''mother's'' grandfather was Avatar Roku.
:'''Zuko''': ''(in shock)'' Why are you telling me this?!
:'''Iroh''': Because understanding the struggle between your two great-grandfathers can help you better understand the battle within yourself. ''[Zuko drops to his knees]''  Evil and good are always at war inside you, Zuko.  It is your nature, your legacy, but there is a bright side. ''[Zuko glares at him]'' What happened generations ago can be resolved now by ''you''.  Because of your legacy, you alone can cleanse the sins of our family and the Fire Nation. Born in you, along with all the strife, is the power to restore balance to the world.
:''[Iroh lifts a stone in the floor of his cell and pulls out a cloth-wrapped parcel; he unwraps it to reveal the headpiece that Sozin gave to Roku.]''
:'''Iroh''': This is a Royal artifact.  It's supposed to be worn by the Crown Prince. ''[he offers it to Zuko, who takes it]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Katara''': You mean after all Roku and Sozin went through together, even after Roku showed him mercy, Sozin betrayed him like that?
:'''Toph''': It's like these people are ''born'' bad.
:'''Aang''': No, that's wrong.  I don't think that was the point of what Roku showed me at all.
:'''Sokka''': Then what was the point?
:'''Aang''': Roku was just as much Fire Nation as Sozin was, right?  If anything, their story proves anyone is capable of great good and great evil.  Everyone, even the Fire Lord and the Fire Nation, have to be treated like they're worth giving a chance. And I think it was about friendships too.
:'''Toph''': Do you really think friendships can last more than one lifetime?
:'''Aang''': [''Aang takes Toph's hand''] I don't see why not.[''Katara takes Toph's other'']
:'''Sokka''': Well, scientifically speaking there's no way to prove that-
:'''Katara''': Oh, Sokka, just hold hands!
:[''Sokka keeps his face turned and grabs Katara's hand.'']

===The Runaway (Non-Later in the episode version)===
:'''Sokka:''' Toph, when I was in town I found something you're not going to like ''(unfurls a wanted poster)''
:'''Toph:''' Well it ''sounds'' like a sheet of paper. But I guess you're referring to what's on the sheet of paper.
:'''Sokka:''' It's a wanted poster, of you! They've nicknamed you &quot;The Runaway&quot;
:'''Toph:''' A wanted poster! That's so great! &quot;The Runaway&quot;! I love my new nickname! Is there a picture of me? Does it look good?
:'''Sokka:''' ''(looks at the poster; Toph's face on it is only a child-like drawing)'' Well, yeah, actually, it does look pretty good. But, Toph, you're missing the point. Maybe Katara is right. The scams are drawing too much attention to us.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Aang''': Wow, how does it work?
:'''Sokka''': Hm, uh, I never actually thought about it. Hawky, Gran-Gran, South Pole. ''[Hawky shakes the head]'' I think he gets it. ''[Momo Chases Hawky around in Sokka's head]'' Hawky, mke nice! Bad Hawky! 
:''[Later in the day. Sokka and Toph are returing. Katara drinkcup in Appa drinking water cup.]''
:'''Katara:''' Well look who decided to join us. Where have you two been, off scamming again?
:'''Toph:''' Yes, we were.
:'''Katara:''' Oh really? And you don't think this is dangerous at all?
:'''Toph:''' No, I don't.
:'''Katara''': Really?!
:'''Toph''': Yes really.
:'''Katara:''' Well then, what's this? ''(brandishes the same wanted poster)''
:'''Toph:''' ''(seriously irritated)'' I don't ''know''! I mean, seriously, what's ''with'' you people?! I'm ''blind''!?
:'''Katara''': It's wanted poster of you. &quot;The Runaway&quot;. Is that what you call you're call now?! Are you proud of this?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''(Toph and Katara in cage)''
:'''Toph''': Wait a minute, it's a trap!
:'''Katara''': ''(sarcastically)'' Really? No kidding! Is that why we're trapped in a wooden cage right now? Gee, I wonder how you figured out it was a trap!
:'''Toph''': Not for us, Katara. We're the bait. He wants Aang!
:'''Katara''': Ugh! I can't believe I was so stupid! See, this is exactly why I'm against these scams, I knew this would happen!
:'''Toph''': ...But it was ''your'' idea.
:'''Katara''': I know. I wanted to show you I'm not so motherly. That I can have fun too.
:'''Toph''': Katara, you are fun, if nothing else, you're at least fun to argue with.

===The Puppetmaster===
:'''Aang''': ''(walking up)'' Old Man Ding?
:'''Old Man Ding''': ''(hits his thumb with the hammer)'' Eeh, yeow! Aw, dang blame it! What? Can't you see I'm busy?! Got a full moon rising. And why does everyone call me that? I'm not that old. ''(tries to pick up a fallen board)'' Aww...well, I'm young at heart. ''[Aang helps him with the board]'' Not ready to get snapped up by some moon monster, yet, at least. 
:'''Sokka''': ''(takes over the hammering)'' We wanted to ask you about that. 
:'''Aang''': Did you get a good look at the spirit that took you? 
:'''Old Man Ding''': Didn't see no spirit. Just felt something come over me, like I was possessed. Forced me to start walking toward the mountain. I tried to fight it, but I couldn't control my own limbs. ''[demonstrates a walk like he's possessed]'' It just about had me into a cave up there. And I looked up at the moon, for what I thought would be my last glimpse of light. But then, the sun started to rise. And I got control of myself again! I just high-tailed it away from that mountain as quick as I could! 
:'''Sokka''': Why would a spirit want to take people to a mountain? 
:'''Toph''': Oh, no!!! I did hear people screaming under the mountain. The missing villagers must still be there.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hama''':  What I'm about to show you, I discovered in that wretched Fire Nation prison. ''[her flashbacks of her time in the prison are shown as she speaks]'' The guards were always careful to keep any water away from us.  They piped in dry air, and had us suspended away from the ground.  Before giving us any water, they would bind our hands and feet so we couldn't bend.  Any sign of trouble was met with cruel retribution.  And yet, each month I felt the full moon, enriching me with its' energy. There had to be ''something'' I could do, to escape.  Then... I realized that where there is life, there is ''water''.  The ''rats'' that scurried across the floor of my cage, were nothing more than skins filled with liquid.  And I passed ''years'' developing the skill that would lead to my escape... ''Bloodbending.''  Controlling the water in another body.''[Katara looks horrified]''  Enforcing your own will over theirs.  Once I had mastered the rats... I was ready for the ''men''. And during the next full moon, I walked free, for the first time in decades.  My cell unlocked, by the very guards assigned to keep me in.  Once you perfect this technique, you can control anything... or, ''anyone. [glances at Katara]''
:'''Katara''':  But... to reach inside someone, and control them? I- I don't know if I ''want'' that kind of power.
:'''Hama''':  The choice is not yours.  The power exists!  And it's your duty to use the gifts you've been given to ''win'' this war!  Katara, they tried to wipe us out; our entire culture! Your mother!
:'''Katara''':  I know.
:'''Hama''': Then you should understand what I'm talking about.  We're the last Waterbenders of the Southern Tribe!  We have to ''fight'' these people whenever we can, wherever they are with ''any'' means necessary.
:'''Katara''': ...It's ''you.'' You're the one who's making people disappear during the full moons! 
:'''Hama''':  They threw me in prison to ''rot'', along with my brothers and sisters!  They deserve the same!  You must carry on my work.
:'''Katara''':  I won't!  I won't use Bloodbending, and I won't allow you to keep terrorizing this town! ''Arrgh!''
''[Her arms suddenly twist and contort as Hama Bloodbends her]''
:'''Hama''': You should have learned the technique before you turned against me!  It's impossible to fight your way out of my grip.  I control every muscle, every ''vein'' in your body!
''[She jerks Katara around like a puppet, then forces her to kneel]''
:'''Katara''': ''[tearfully]'' Stop... please. 
''[Hama cackles, but Katara draws water from the grass and glares up at her; Hama's smile vanishes]''
:'''Katara''': ''[stands up]''... You're not the ''only'' one who draws power from the moon.  My bending is more powerful than yours, Hama.  Your technique is ''useless'' on me! 
''[She and Hama battle with Waterbending; both fight fiercely, but Katara soon overpowers Hama, just as Sokka and Aang arrive]''
:'''Sokka''': We know what you've been doing, Hama!
:'''Aang''':  Give up!  You're outnumbered!
:'''Hama''': No.  You've outnumbered ''yourselves! [She Bloodbends them, forcing them to attack Katara]''
:'''Sokka''': ''[swinging his sword]'' Katara, look out!  It's like my brain has a mind of its' own!  Stop it, arm, ''stop it!''
:'''Aang''':  This feels weird!
:'''Katara''': ''[ dodges, then freezes Aang to a tree]'' Sorry, Aang!
:'''Aang''': It's OK!
''[Hama makes Sokka charge Katara again, but she freezes his arm to another tree]''
:'''Hama''':  Don't hurt your friends, Katara!  And don't let them hurt ''each other!''
''[She rips Aang and Sokka free, then hurls them at each other with Sokka's sword pointing at Aang]''
:'''Katara''': ''NO!''
''[Sokka and Aang stop at the last second as Katara Bloodbends Hama, forcing her to kneel.  Toph arrives with the captured villagers, who shackle Hama]''
:'''Villager''':  You're going to be locked away, forever.
:'''Hama''': ''[smugly]'' My work is done.  Congratulations, Katara.  You're a Bloodbender.
''[She cackles as she is led away.  Katara sinks to the ground and cries as her friends comfort her]''

===Nightmares and Daydreams===
:'''Sokka''' ''(wearing his Wang Fire costume )'': Why don't you get right down to business, and tell me what's been bothering you?
:'''Aang''': You know what's been bothering me. I have face to the Fire Lord in a few days!
:'''Sokka''': Mm-hmm. Tell me more about this ''Fire Lord''. Why are you so afraid of him?
:'''Aang''': You said it yourself. He's the baddest man on the planet! I'm supposed to defeat and save the world!
:'''Sokka''': Mmm. Life does feel that way sometimes, doesn't it? Like we're all trying to save the world from evil?
:'''Aang''': Okay, but what can I do to make myself feel better?
:'''Sokka''' ''(holding out a koala sheep)'': Wanna try screaming into this pillow? ''(Aang takes it, screams, and the sheep baas)''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Toph''': ''[in Iroh to jail]'' Together seem prison food pretty good.
:'''Iroh''': Maybe should be on prison food so hungry.
:'''Toph''': Perhaps should be express on the train earth bending.
:'''Mai''': ''[disembodied]'' You want to me express yourself?! ''LEAVE ME ALONE!?''
:'''Iroh''': Otherwise should prison food with express yourself.
:'''Toph''': This one has uncle is escape from jail. Right guard.
:'''Zuko''': Hey! What are you doing?!
:'''Toph''': He talk to uncle.
:'''Zuko''': Guard, get Toph. Take her to Aang, Sokka and Katara.
:'''Guard''': ''[to Toph]'' Alright, let's go.
:'''Toph''': ''[guard grabs Toph]'' Okay, Bye!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Azula''': There's nothing wrong with onion and banana juice.
:'''Zuko''': Ughh!! (shocked) Onion and banana juice! ''[flashback in the thunderstorm rain]'' Come on strike me! You're never back before! '''''AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!'''''
:'''Mai''': ''[into the presented]'' Zuko, are you okay.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Aang''': ''[disembodied]'' Okay, I'll try.
:'''Guru''': ''[disembodied]'' You must learn to let go.
:'''Zuko''': None of this guy locked in Suki jail into boiling rock, Fire Ozai.
:'''Fire Ozai''': Uh-oh. Suki's in the jail. Mai will come back.
:'''Long Feng''': ''[disembodied]'' What is wrong with you?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''(Aang's is daydreaming about professing his love for Katara)
:'''Aang''': Invasion, all aboard for the invasion.
:'''Katara''': You don't look so good, are you sure that you can't lie down and take a little nap?
:'''Aang''': I told you, I can't go to sleep.
:'''Katara''': Aang, staying up all night can't be good for you.
:'''Aang''': Actually staying up all night has given me some time to think and I've realized some big things Katara.
:'''Katara''':What big things?
:'''Aang''': I'm seeing everything so clearly now, what really matters, why I'm really doing this, I'm doing it to save the world, but more than that. I'm doing it for the people I love. I'm doing it for you, Katara.
:'''Katara''': Aang, what are you saying?
:'''Aang''': I'm saying...I love you.
:''(Aang gives Katara a peck on the lips, then they start kissing passionately)''
:'''Katara''': What are we doing?
:'''Aang''': What our hearts have been telling us to do for a long, long time. Baby, you're my forever girl.
:''(Aang goes back to reality)
:'''Katara''': Aang?
:'''Aang''': Huh?
:'''Katara''': I was just saying you should take a nap.
:'''Aang''': Oh...I guess I kinda drifted off into a daydream.
:'''Katara''': What was your dream about?
:'''Aang''': Uh...living underwater?
:'''Katara''': Sounds neat!

===The Day of Black Sun, Part 1: The Invasion===
:'''Du''': Hoo-wee! There ain't nothing like this back in the swamp! ''(points at a rock)'' Whatcha rekon that is, Tho? Some sort of Fire Nation trap exploding trap would eat ya?
:'''Tho''': It's just a rock, Du.
:'''Du''': Well, I'll be!
:'''Hakoda''': Is it just me, or are those fellows a little loose on the leaf hats?
:'''Bato''': I just wish they'd wear pants.
:'''Huu''': Pants are an illusion... and so is death.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Aang''': So... this is it, huh?
:'''Sokka''': Are you ready for the Fire Nation to know that the Avatar's alive?
:'''Aang''': ...I'm ready.
''[Team Avatar has a group-hug]''
:'''Hakoda''': Everyone, listen up!  The next time we re-surface, it'll be on the beaches... so stay alert, and fight smart!  Now, break time's over!  Back in the subs!
''[Toph and Sokka re-enter the sub, leaving Katara and Aang alone, awkwardly]''
:'''Anng''': ...Katara, I-
:'''Katara''': I-
''[They both pause, flustered]''
:'''Aang''':... You go first.
:'''Katara''': We've been through ''so'' many things together, and I've seen you grow up so much.  You're not that little goofy kid I found in the iceberg anymore.  I guess, what I'm trying to say is... I'm really proud of you.
:'''Aang''': ... Everything is gonna be different after today, isn't it?
:'''Katara''': Yes, it is.
:'''Aang''': What if... what if I don't come back?
:'''Katara''': Aang, don't say that.  Of course you'll-
''[Aang cuts her off by leaning forward and kissing her; after a pause, she leans in]''

===The Day of Black Sun, Part 2: The Eclipse===
:'''Zuko''': For so long, all I wanted was you to love me, to accept me. I thought it was my honor that I wanted, but really, I was just trying to please you. ''You'', my father, who banished me just for talking out of turn. ''My father'', who challenged me, a 13-year-old boy, to an Agni Kai. How can you possibly justify a duel with a child? 
:'''Ozai''': ''(bitterly)'' It was to teach you respect. 
:'''Zuko''': It was cruel! And it was wrong. 
:'''Ozai''': Then you have learned nothing. 
:'''Zuko''': No, I’ve learned everything! And I had to learn it on my own. Growing up, we were taught that the Fire Nation was the greatest civilization in history and somehow, the war was our way of sharing our greatness with the rest of the world. What an amazing lie that was! The people of the world are terrified by the Fire Nation! They don’t see our greatness - they hate us! And we deserve it. We’ve created an era of fear in the world. And if we don’t want the world to destroy itself, we need to replace it with an era of peace and kindness. 
:'''Ozai''': ''(laughs mockingly)'' Your Uncle has gotten to you, hasn’t he?
:'''Zuko''': ''(smiles)'' ...Yes. He has.

&lt;hr width80&gt;
:'''Zuko''': After I leave here today, I'm going to free Uncle Iroh from his prison, and I'm going to beg for his forgiveness. He's the one who's been a real father to me.
:'''Ozai''': [''Laughs''] That's just beautiful. Maybe he can pass down to you the ways of tea and failure.
:'''Zuko''': But I've come to an even more important decision. I'm gonna join the Avatar, and I'm going to help him defeat you.
:'''Ozai''': Really? Since you're a full blown traitor and you want me gone, why wait? I'm powerless. You've got your swords. Why don't you just do it now?
:'''Zuko''': Because I know my own destiny. Taking you down is the Avatar's destiny. Goodbye.
:'''Ozai''': ''Coward!'' You may think that you're brave enough to face me, but you'll only do it during the Eclipse. If ''you'' have any real courage, you'll stick around until the sun comes out. Don't you want to hear what happened to your mother?

===The Western Air Temple===
:'''Zuko''': Hello, Zuko here. But I guess you probably already know me, sort of. Uh so, the thing is I have a lot of Firebending experience and I'm considered to be pretty good at it. Well you've seen me... you know when I was attacking you? Uh yeah, I guess I should apologize for that, but anyway I'm good now. I mean, I thought I was good before but now I realize I was bad, but anyway... I think it's time I joined your group and taught the Avatar Firebending.
:''(Camera zooms out to show Zuko is talking to a big frog. The frog croaks)''
:'''Zuko''': Well, what's your answer!?
:''(The frog jumps on Zuko's head, then leaps away)''
:'''Zuko''': Yeah, that's what I'd say too. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Zuko''': Hey, I heard you guys flying around down there, so I just thought I'd wait for you here. I know you must be surprised to see me here. 
:'''Sokka''': Not really, since you've followed us all over the world. 
:'''Zuko''': Right... Well, uh... anyway, what I wanted to tell you about is that I've changed, and I uh, I'm good now. And, well, I think I should join your group. Oh, and I can teach firebending... to you. See, I uh... 
:'''Toph''': You want to what now?!
:'''Katara''': You can't possibly think that any of us would trust you, can you? I mean, how stupid do you think we are? 
:'''Sokka''': Yeah, all you've ever done is try to hunt us down and capture Aang. 
:'''Zuko''': I've done some good things. I mean, I could've stolen your bison in Ba Sing Se, but I set him free. That's something. 
:''[Appa licks him from behind]''
:'''Aang''': Appa does seem to like him. 
:'''Sokka''': He probably just covered himself in honey or something so that Appa would lick him. I'm not buying it. 
:'''Zuko''': I can understand why you wouldn't trust me, and I know I've made some mistakes in the past. 
:'''Sokka''': Like when you attacked our village? 
:'''Katara''': Or when you stole my mother's necklace  and used it to track us down and capture us? 
:'''Zuko''': Look, I admit I've done some awful things. I was wrong to try to capture you, and I'm sorry that I attacked the Water Tribe. And I never should've sent that Fire Nation assassin after you. I'm gonna try to stop him-
:'''Sokka''': Wait, ''you'' sent Combustion Man after us?!?! 
:'''Zuko''': Well, that's not his name, but... 
:'''Sokka''': Oh, ''sorry.'' I didn't mean to insult your friend. 
:'''Zuko''': He's not my friend!
:'''Toph''': That guy locked me and Katara in jail and tried to blow us all up!
:'''Zuko''': ... ''[to Aang]'' Why aren't you saying anything? You once said you thought we could be friends. You know I have good in me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Katara''': No, we *won't*! ''[Waterbending blast at Zuko grunts]'' Get out of here, and ''don't come'' back, but you even seen it again?! Well you better NOT ''seen'' it again!?

===The Firebending Masters===
:'''Zuko''': Listen everybody; I've got some pretty bad news. I've lost my stuff.
:'''Toph''': Don't look at me. I didn't touch your stuff.
:'''Zuko''': I'm talking about my firebending. It's gone. 
:'''Katara''': ''[laughs]'' I'm sorry. I'm just laughing at the irony. You know... how it would have been nice for us if you lost your firebending a long time ago? 
:'''Zuko''': Well it's not lost. It's just weaker for some reason.
:'''Katara''': Maybe you're just not as good as you think you are. 
:'''Toph''': Ouch.
:'''Zuko''': ...I bet it's because I changed sides. 
:'''Katara''': That's ridiculous. 
:'''Aang''': I don't know. Maybe it isn't. Maybe your firebending comes from rage, and you just don't have enough anger to fuel it the way you used to. 
:'''Sokka''': So, all we need to do is make Zuko angry... easy enough.
:''[he proceeds to nudge Zuko in the waist and head with the hilt of his sword several times]''
:'''Zuko''': OKAY!! CUT IT OUT!!! Look... even if you're right, I don't want to rely on hate and anger anymore. There has to be another way.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:''[after being judged by the masters and seeing their fire]''
:'''Zuko''': Their fire was beautiful. I saw so many colors, colors I've never imagined. 
:'''Aang''': Like firebending harmony.
:'''Sun Warrior Chief''': Yes. They judged you, and gave you visions of the meaning of firebending.
:'''Zuko''': I can't believe there are still living dragons. My Uncle Iroh said he faced the last dragon and killed it. 
:'''Sun Warrior Chief''': Actually, it wasn't a total lie. Iroh was the last outsider to face the masters. They deemed him worthy and passed the secret onto him as well.
:'''Zuko''': He must have lied to protect them, so no one else would hunt them.
:'''Aang''': All this time, I thought firebending was destruction. Since I hurt Katara, I've been too afraid and hesitant. But now I know what it really is... it's energy, and life.
:'''Zuko''': Yeah. It's like the Sun, but inside of you. Do you guys realize this?
:'''Sun Warrior Chief''': Well, our civilization ''is'' called the Sun Warriors... so yeah.

===The Boiling Rock, Part 1===
:'''Sokka''': Pretty clouds.
:'''Zuko''': Yeah.. fluffy. [Sokka begins to whistle due to awkward silence]
:'''Zuko''': What?
:'''Sokka''': Wha-- Oh! I didn't say anything. [Brief silence]
:'''Sokka''': You know, a friend of mine designed these war balloons.
:'''Zuko''': No kidding.
:'''Sokka''': Yep! A balloon... but for war.
:'''Zuko''': (''darkly'') If there's one thing my dad's good at, it's war.
:'''Sokka''': Yeah, it seems to run in the family.
:'''Zuko''': Hey. Hold on, not everyone in my family is like that.
:'''Sokka''': I know. I know, you've changed.
:'''Zuko''': I meant my uncle... He was more than a father to me... And I really let him down.
:'''Sokka''': I think your uncle would be proud of you. Leaving your home to come help us. That's hard.
:'''Zuko''': It wasn't that hard.
:'''Sokka''': Really? You didn't leave anyone behind you care about?
:'''Zuko''': Well, I did have a girlfriend. Mai.
:'''Sokka''': That gloomy girl who sighs a lot?
:'''Zuko''': Yeah. ''[smiles]'' Everyone in the Fire Nation thinks I'm a traitor. I couldn't drag her into it.
:'''Sokka''': My first girlfriend turned into the moon. ''[frowns]''
:'''Zuko''': That's rough, buddy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zuko''':(''attemping to inspire Sokka to not quit and stay at the prison and rescue his dad'') No, it's not, Sokka. Look, you're going to fail a lot before things work out...
:'''Sokka''': This is supposed to make me feel better?!
:'''Zuko''': Even though you'll probably fail over and over again...
:'''Sokka''': Seriously, you're not helping!
:'''Zuko''': You have to try every time. You can't quit because you're afraid you might fail.

===The Boiling Rock Part 2===
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sokka''': Zuko! Good, we're all here. Now all we need to do is grab the warden, and get to the gondolas!
:'''Zuko''': And how do we do that?
:'''Sokka''': ...I'm ''not'' sure.
:'''Zuko''': ''[Groans.]'' I thought you thought this through!
:'''Sokka''': I thought you told me it's okay not to think everything through!
:'''Zuko''': Maybe not everything, but this is kind of important!
:'''Chit Sang''': Hey, uh, fellas. I think your girlfriend's taking care of it.
''[Suki hops up on the heads of the rioters, then jump and flip onto the tower. She easily defeats the first guard with a few quick jabs. Two more guards arrive. She ducks a fire blast and sweeps the first one and then dodges the second one's fire blast and continues to climb the tower. She makes it up to the top and defeats the final guard with a sliding kick. She then grabs the warden by the fist.'')
:'''Warden''': You wouldn't dare.
:'''Suki''': [''twists his wrist, ties his hands together and uses his headband as a gag.''] Sorry, warden. You're my prisoner now. [''Slams the warden against the wall; the rest of the escapees arrive.''] We've got the warden! Now let's get out of here!
:'''Hakoda''': (''panting'') That's some girl.
:'''Sokka''': (''Panting, proudly.'') Tell me about it.
-----
''[Mai is brought before Azula after she helped Zuko, Sokka and their friends escape]''
:'''Azula''': Leave us alone. (''the guards withdraw'') I never expected this from ''you''. (''Mai stares her down defiantly; Ty Lee looks fearfully from her to Azula'')  The thing I don't understand, is ''why?''  Why would you do it?  You know the consequences.
:'''Mai''':... I guess you don't know people as well as you think you do.  You miscalculated.  I love Zuko... more than I fear ''you''.
:'''Azula''': (''enraged'')  No, ''YOU'' miscalculated!  You should've feared me more!!
''[As she raises her hands to generate lightning, Mai draws one of her shurikens.  Just as Azula is about to strike, Ty Lee strikes her pressure points and paralyzes her, to everyone's amazement]''
:'''Ty Lee''': (''to Mai'') Come on, let's get out of here!
''[They try to flee, but the guards quickly surround and arrest them. Two of the guards help Azula to her feet]''
:'''Azula''': You're both fools!!
:'''Guard''': What shall we do with them, Princess?
:'''Azula''': Put them somewhere I'll never have to see their faces again... and let them ''rot!''

===The Southern Raiders===
''[Yon Rha is heading home in the rain; he hears someone following him several times, then finally stops]''
:'''Yon Rha''': Nobody sneaks up on ''me'' without getting burned! 
''[He Firebends at a bush behind him, but nothing happens. As he turns to continue, he falls over a tripwire; when he tries to get up, a fire blast stops him]''
:'''Zuko''': We weren't behind the bush. ''[he advances on Yon Rha]'' And I wouldn't try Firebending again.
:'''Yon Rha''': Whoever you are, take my money.  Take whatever you want! I'll cooperate.
:'''Katara''': ''[Approaches and pulls back her hood]'' Do you know who I am?
:'''Yon Rha''': No...I'm not sure.
:'''Katara''': ''[angrily]'' Oh, you'd better remember me, like your life depends on it! Why don't you take a closer look?!
:'''Yon Rha''':  Yes... ''yes!''  I remember you, now!  You're that little Water Tribe girl!
''[In a flashback, Yon Rha is shown confronting Kya and a young Katara during his raid on the Southern Water Tribe.]''
:'''Kya''': Just let her go, and I'll give you the information you want.
:'''Yon Rha''': You heard your mother.  Get out of here!
:'''Katara''': Mom...  I'm scared...
:'''Kya''': Go find your Dad, sweetie.  I'll handle this. ''[Katara runs off]''
:'''Yon Rha''':  Now, tell me: who is it?  Who's the Waterbender?
:'''Kya''':  There are no Waterbenders here.  The Fire Nation took them all away, a long time ago.
:'''Yon Rha''':  You're lying.  My source says there's ''one'' Waterbender left in the Southern  Water Tribe.  We're not leaving until we find the Waterbender!
:'''Kya''':  If I tell you... do you promise to leave the rest of the village alone? ''[Yon Rha grunts and nods]''... It's me.  Take ''me'' as your prisoner.
:'''Yon Rha''': ''[smirks]'' I'm afraid I'm not taking ''prisoners'', today.
''[In the present, Yon Rha gulps]''
:'''Katara''':... She ''lied'' to you! ''[turns away, tearfully]'' She was protecting the last Waterbender.
:'''Yon Rha''': What?!  Who?
:'''Katara''': ''[spins around, furious] ME!? [She bends the rain, stopping it mid-fall, then forms the water into a huge dome around them; Zuko watches, amazed. Katara morphs the water into ice spears and hurls them at Yon Rha, who cowers, but she stops them inches from his face, then dissolves them back into water] [Zuko: Katara, stop! That's not a monster.]''
:'''Yon Rha''':  ''[scrambling to grovel  in front of her]'' I did a bad thing, I know I did!  And you deserve revenge! So why don't you take ''my'' mother? That would be fair! ''[disembodied] Nobody sneaks up on '''me''' without getting burned!''
:'''Katara''': I always wondered, what kind of person could do such a thing.  But, now that I see you, I think I understand.  There's just...''nothing'' inside you. Nothing at all.  You're pathetic, and sad, and ''empty and Aang's dead and Zuko's mean with the Western Temple''.
:'''Yon Rha''': ''[whimpering]'' Please, spare me!
:'''Katara''': But as much as I  ''hate'' you...  I  just can't do it. ''[Yon Rha whimpers, and flashback in the Western Airtemple; to Zuko]'' So let me tell you somethin' right now, you make 1 step backward, 1 slip-up, give me 1 reason to might hurt Aang, and you won't have to worry about density anymore, because I'll make sure your density ends, right and there. Permanently.
:'''Zuko''': ''[in the present]'' Katara, enough. That's not Azula.
:'''Katara''': Oh, I'm sorry, Zuko. You won't happen again?
-----
:'''Aang''':  Katara... are you okay?
:'''Katara''': I'm doing fine. You're not getting killed Sokka. Right Aang?
:'''Aang''':  Zuko told me what you did... or what you didn't do, I guess.  I'm proud of you.
:'''Katara''':  I ''wanted'' to do it.  I wanted to take out all my anger at him, but I couldn't.  I don't know if it's because I'm to weak to do it, or because I'm strong enough not to.
:'''Aang''':  You did the right thing.  Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing.
:'''Katara''':  But I ''didn't'' forgive him. ''[pause]'' I'll never forgive him. ''[to Zuko]'' But I ''am'' ready to forgive you.
:''[She hugs Zuko, then walks away]''
:'''Zuko''':  You were right about what Katara needed.  Violence wasn't the answer.
:'''Aang''':  It never is.
:'''Zuko''': Then, I have a question for you... what are you going to do, when you face my father?
''[Aang looks away uneasily]''

===The Ember Island Players===
:'''Katara''': Doesn't it seem kind of weird that we're hiding from the Firelord in his own house?
:'''Zuko''': I told you, my family hasn't come here since we were actually happy, and that was a long time ago. It's the last place anyone would think to look for us.
:''(Sokka comes running in)''
:'''Sokka''': You guys are not gonna believe this... there's a play about us!
:'''Suki''': We were just in town and we saw this poster! ''[reveals poster about the play]''
:'''Katara''': What? How is that possible?
:'''Sokka''': Listen to this: &quot;''The Boy In The Iceberg'' is a new production from acclaimed playwright Pu-On Tim, who scoured the globe gathering information on the Avatar, from the icy South Pole to the heart of Ba Sing Se. His sources include singing nomads, pirates, prisoners of war, and a surprisingly knowledgeable merchant of cabbage.&quot;
:'''Suki''': &quot;Brought to you by the critically acclaimed Ember Island Players.
:'''Zuko''': Ugh. My mother used to take us to see them. They butchered &quot;''Love Amongst the Dragons''&quot; every year!
:'''Katara''': Sokka, do you really think it's a good idea for us to attend a play about ourselves?
:'''Sokka''': Come on, a day at the theater! This is the kind of wacky time-wasting nonsense I've been missing!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Toph''': Geez, everyone is getting so upset about their characters. Even you seem more down than usual. And that's saying something.
:'''Zuko''': You don't get it. It's different for you. You get a muscly version of yourself taking down ten bad guys at once and making sassy remarks.
:'''Toph''': Yeah, that's pretty great.
:'''Zuko''': But for me, it takes all the mistakes I have made in my life and shoves them back in my face. My uncle. He's always been on my side even when thing were bad. He was there for me. He taught me so much. And how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret and I may never get to redeem myself.
:'''Toph''': You have redeemed yourself to your uncle. You don't realize it, but you already have.
:'''Zuko''': How do you know?
:'''Toph''': Beacause I once had a long conversation with the guy. And all he would talk about was you.
:'''Zuko''': Really?
:'''Toph''': Yeah, and it was kind of annoying.
:'''Zuko''': Oh, sorry.
:'''Toph''': But it was also very sweet. All your uncle wanted was for you to follow your own path and see the light. Now you're here with us. He'd be proud. ''(Toph punches him on the shoulder)''
:'''Zuko''': Ow! What was that for?!
:'''Toph''': That's how I show affection.

===Sozin's Comet, Part 1: The Phoenix King===
:'''Toph''': ''[to Aang]'' You know?! You're Aang is guilty and unempty!
:'''Katara''': Unempty?! Why are you unempty?! This isn't unempty.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Katara''': Aang, don't you walk away of this!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''General Shinu''': Ba Sing Se is still under our control. However, earthbender rebellions has prevented us from achieving total victory.
:'''Ozai''': What is your recommendation?
:'''General Shinu''': Our army is spread too thin. But once the eclipse is over and the invasion defeated, we should transfer more domestic forces into the Earth Kingdom.
:'''Ozai''': Hmm, Prince Zuko, you've been among the Earth Kingdom commoners. Do you think adding more troops will stop these rebellions?
:'''Zuko''': ...The people of the Earth Kingdom are proud and strong. They can endure anything as long as they have hope.
:'''Ozai''': Yes, you're right. We need to destroy their hope.
:'''Zuko''': Well, that's not exactly what I-
:'''Azula''': ''I'' think you should take their precious hope and the rest of their land and ''burn it'' all to the ground.
:'''Ozai''': Yes. Yes, you're right, Azula. Sozin's Comet is almost upon us, and on that day, it will endow us with the strength and power of a hundred suns. No bender will stand a chance against us.
:'''General Shinu''': What are you suggesting, sir? 
:'''Ozai''': When the comet last came, my grandfather, Fire Lord Sozin, used it to wipe out the Air Nomads. Now, I will use its power to end the Earth Kingdom ... permanently. From our airships, we will rain fire over their lands, a fire that will destroy everything; and out of the ashes, a new world will be born, a world in which all the lands are Fire Nation and I am the supreme ruler of everything!
''[The generals applaud as Zuko's flashback ends]''
:'''Zuko''': I wanted to speak out against this horrifying plan... but, I'm ashamed to say I didn't. My whole life, I struggled to gain my father's love and acceptance. But once I had it, I realized I'd lost ''myself'' getting there. I'd forgotten who I was.
:'''Katara''':...I can't ''believe'' this.
:'''Sokka''': ''[shocked]'' I always knew the Fire Lord was a bad guy, but his plan is just pure evil.
:'''Aang''': What am I gonna do?
:'''Zuko''': I know you're scared. And I know you're not ready to save the world. But if you don't defeat the Fire Lord ''before'' the Comet comes... there won't ''be'' a world to save, anymore.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Azula''': Sorry I’m late, Father. Good palanquin bearers are so hard to come by these days. So, is everything ready for our departure?
:'''Ozai''': There has been a change of plans, Azula.
:'''Azula''': What?
:'''Ozai''': I’ve decided to lead the fleet of airships to Ba Sing Se alone. You will remain here in the Fire Nation.
:'''Azula''': But I thought we were going to do this together!
:'''Ozai''': My decision is final.
:'''Azula''': You ... you can’t treat me like this. You can’t treat me like Zuko!
:'''Ozai''': Azula, silence yourself.
:'''Azula''': But it was ''my'' idea to burn everything to the ground! I deserve to be by your side!
:'''Ozai''': Azula! Listen to me. I need you here to watch over the homeland, it’s a very important job that I can only entrust to you.
:'''Azula''': Really?
:'''Ozai''': And for your loyalty, I’ve decided to declare you the new Fire Lord.
:'''Azula''': &quot;Fire Lord Azula‌&quot;... it does seem appropriate. But, what about you‌?
:'''Ozai''': Fire Lord Ozai is no more. Just as the world will be reborn in fire, I shall be reborn as the supreme ruler of the world. From this moment on, I will be known as... the “Phoenix King”!

===Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters===
:'''Sokka''': Hey, I remember her. She helped you attack us!
:'''Zuko''': Yup, back in the good ol' days.
:'''June''': Oh, great. It's Prince Pouty. Where's your creepy grandpa?
:'''Zuko''': He's my uncle... and he's not here.
:'''June''': I see you worked things out with your girlfriend.
:''(Katara and Zuko together):''
:'''Katara''': I'm ''not'' his girlfriend!
:'''Zuko''': She's ''not'' my girlfriend! 
:'''June''': Okay, okay, sheesh! I was only teasing. So what do you want?
:'''Zuko''': I need your help finding the Avatar.
:'''June''': Hm. Doesn't sound too fun.
:'''Zuko''': ''Does the end of the world sound like '''more''' fun?!''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''Zuko apologizes to Iroh for his previous betrayal at Ba Sing Se''
:'''Zuko''': Uncle, I know you must have mixed feelings about seeing me. But I want you to know... I am so, so sorry, uncle. ''(starts crying)'' I am so sorry and ashamed of what I did! I don't know how I can ever make it up to you, but I...
:''(Iroh grabs Zuko by his shirt and embraces him)''
:'''Zuko''': How can you forgive me so easily?! I thought you would be furious with me!
:'''Iroh''': I was never angry with you. I was sad, because I was afraid you'd lost your way.
:'''Zuko''': I did lose my way.
:'''Iroh''': But you found it again! And you did it by yourself! And I'm so ''happy'' you found your way here.
:'''Zuko''': It wasn't that hard, uncle. You have a pretty strong scent.

===Sozin's Comet, Part 3: Into the Inferno===
''[Azula, having banished all her servants, attempts to arrange her hair in a topknot, but it becomes lopsided, enraging her]''
:'''Azula''': ''[grabs a pair of scissors]'' Alright, hair, it's time to face your doom! 
''[She cuts off her two tresses unevenly, then notices her mother's reflection in the mirror]''
:'''Ursa''': What a shame. You always had such beautiful hair.
:'''Azula''': What are ''you'' doing here?!
:'''Ursa''': I didn't want to miss my own daughter's coronation.
:'''Azula''': Don't pretend to act proud. I know what you ''really'' think of me. You think I'm a monster.
:'''Ursa''': I think you're ''confused''. All your life, you've used fear to control people, like your friends Mai and Ty Lee.
:'''Azula''': ''[spins around]'' Well, what choice do I have?! Trust is for fools! Fear is the only reliable way. Even ''you'' fear me.
:'''Ursa''': No. I ''love'' you, Azula. I do.
''[Azula's lip trembles. After a pause, she spins around and throws a hairbrush at the mirror with a scream of rage, shattering it. Alone, she sinks to her knees and sobs]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fire Sage''': By decree of Phoenix King Ozai, I now crown you Fire Lord...
:'''Azula''': What are you waiting for?! Do it!
''[She looks up to see Appa landing in the square, with Zuko and Katara on his back.]''
:'''Zuko''': Sorry, but you're not gonna become Fire Lord today. (''jumps down'') ''I'' am.
:'''Azula''': (''laughs'') You're ''hilarious.''
:'''Katara''': And you're going down!
''[The Fire Sage attempts to crown Azula, but she stops him]''
:'''Azula''': Wait.  You want to be Fire Lord?  Fine.  Let's settle this; just you and me, brother.  The showdown that was always meant to be!  ''Agni Kai!''
:'''Zuko''': ...You're on. (''Azula grins'')
:'''Katara''': (''to Zuko'')  What are you doing?  She's playing you!  She knows she can't take us both, so she's trying to separate us!
:'''Zuko''':  I know, but I can take her this time.
:'''Katara''': But even ''you'' admitted to your uncle that you would need help facing Azula!
:'''Zuko''':... There's something ''off'' about her. I can't explain it, but she's slipping.  And this way, no one else has to gets hurt.
''[Katara nods.  Zuko and Azula take up positions at each end of the square.]'' 
:'''Azula''': (''sneering'') I'm sorry it has to end this way, ''brother''.
:'''Zuko''': (''grimly'') No, you're not.

===Sozin's Comet, Part 4: Avatar Aang===
:''[Sokka, Suki, and Toph have liberated an airship.]''
:'''Sokka:''' Good work, Toph. Time to take control of the ship. Take the wheel.
:'''Toph:''' ''[sarcastic]'' That's a great idea! Let a blind girl steer the giant airship!
:'''Sokka:''' I was talking to Suki.
:'''Toph:''' That would make a lot more sense.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
''[Aang, in the Avatar State, has immobilized Ozai in stone restraints]''
:'''Aang and all his past lives''': ''[in the Avatar State]'' ''FIRE LORD OZAI, YOU AND YOUR FOREFATHERS HAVE DEVASTATED THE BALANCE OF THIS WORLD. AND NOW, YOU SHALL PAY THE ULTIMATE PRICE!'' 
''[Aang prepares to deliver the final blow using all four elements. Ozai closed his eyes, but Aang leaves the Avatar State and the elements fall apart at the last minute and Ozai's restraints crumble as Aang lowers himself to the ground. 
:'''Aang''': No. I'm not going to end it like this.
:'''Ozai''': ''[sneering]'' Even with all the power in the world, you are still ''weak''.
''Ozai tries to attak Aang from behind, but Aang senses his attack through vibrations in the ground.  Restraining Ozai's arms with Earthbending again, he places his hands on Ozai's chest and forehead.''
:'''Lion Turtle''': ''[in flashback]'' In the era before the Avatar, we bent not the elements, but the energy within ourselves.  To bend another's energy, your own spirit must be unbendable... or else you will be corrupted and destroyed.
''[Aang's mouth and eyes glow blue, which spreads across his body.  Ozai's eyes and mouth glow orange and do the same.  At first, Ozai's energy nearly overwhelms Aang, but then Aang's energy stabilizes and overcomes Ozai's energy completely. Aang releases Ozai, who tries to attack him again, but simply staggers weakly to his knees.]''
:'''Ozai''': What...what did you ''do'' to me?
:'''Aang''': I took away your Firebending. You can't use it to hurt or threaten anyone else ever again.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Zuko is having trouble putting on his coronation robes due to his injuries]''
:'''Mai''': Need some help with that?
:'''Zuko''': Mai!  You're okay. They let you out of prison?
:'''Mai''': My uncle pulled some strings. And it doesn't hurt when the new Fire Lord is your boyfriend.
:'''Zuko''': So...Does it mean you don't hate me anymore?
:'''Mai''': I think it means, I actually kind of like you.
:''[They kiss]''
:'''Mai''': ''(pokes his shoulder with her finger twice)'' But don't ''ever'' break up with me again. ''(Zuko smiles guiltily and embraces her)''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
''[Aang and the rest of Team Avatar are relaxing in Iroh's tea shop as Zuko serves them tea]''
:'''Sokka''': Zuko, stop moving!  I'm trying to capture the moment. I wanted to do a painting so we always remember the good times together.
:'''Katara''': That's very thoughtful of you, Sokka. ''(sees the painting, frowns)'' Wait. Why did you give me Momo's ears?
:'''Sokka''': ''[offended]'' Those are your hair loopies!
:'''Zuko''': ''[Looks at the painting]'' At least you don't look like a boar-cupine. My hair is ''not'' that spiky!
:'''Mai''': I look like a man.
:'''Suki''': And why did you paint me firebending?
:'''Sokka''': I thought it would look more exciting that way
:''[Momo makes a sound]''
:'''Sokka''': Oh, you think you can do a better job, Momo?
:'''Iroh''': Hey, my belly's not ''that'' big anymore. I really trimmed down.
:'''Toph''': Well, I think you all look ''perfect''.
:''(everyone except Sokka laughs)''

==External links==
[[Category:American television seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>1n21bb9d71hc7un0y0q41bj9ql3nx2w</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Mickey Mouse Clubhouse</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>197301</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158658</id>
      <parentid>3155513</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T19:35:41Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>94.195.140.35</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* pilot 1.00 */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="17308" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''Mickey Mouse Clubhouse''''' is an American computer-animated children's television series.
===pilot 1.00===
(The screen opens to reveal a blue sky with the sun coming out) (words appear)
:'''Mickey''': mickey, mouse, clubhouse (the camera pans down to reveal a grassy field full of trees) (as the camera pans to the right, Mickey appears)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) hi there, it's me, mickey... You know... Mickey mouse, and oh boy, are we gonna have some fun in my clubhouse today (Mickey turns his head to the left, and realised that the clubhouse is missing)
:'''Mickey''': oops, (chuckles) forgot. To make the clubhouse appear, we all gonna say the secret words, Meeska, mooska, mickey, mouse.
:'''Mickey''': so I'll say, Meeska mooska, and then you say, Mickey mouse! (Chuckles) are you ready? (Mickey waits for a response) here we go! Meeska, mooska...
:'''Children''': MICKEY MOUSE
(Mickey turns his head to the left again to find the clubhouse, still gone)
:'''mickey''': hmm, let's be louder, this time, stand up and really shout it, alright... Stand up!
:'''mickey''': okay, here we go. Meeska, mooska...
:'''children''': MICKEY MOUSE!
:'''Mickey''': open up, the mouse clubhouse! (Magic sparkles appear from mickeys hands as the sparkles swirls around, making the clubhouse appear) (the pants appear, the head appear, the ears appear, and the glove balloon appear) (the magic sparkles disappear after that)
:'''Mickey''': good job, well, (chuckles) what are you waiting for? Let's go inside (Mickey goes inside the clubhouse, and the door shuts behind him, Mickey flips on the switch, but no light bulb turned on, later, a helping hand helps out)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) thanks helping hand, (Mickey gives the hand a high five, then the hand leaves)
:'''Mickey''': well everybody, this is our clubhouse! (Looks aloney)
:'''Mickey''': but where's the rest of the club? (Donald strolls along. Pluto skips with joy, they tried to get in but they are stuck)
:'''Donald''': wa, hey what's the big idea! (Donald wiggles his legs, but it didn't work)
(Later Minnie arrives, she looks surprised but later turns mad)
:'''Minnie''': donald, pluto, are you too stuck again?
(Pluto and Donald pop their heads up)
:'''Both''': [shrugged as in: I don't know] (Minnie push their way out)
:'''minnie''': [struggles] uh (Minnie slips then falls on Donald and pluto) (Mickey got slipped too, and they all crash) (After that, goofy arrives)
:'''goofy''': mickey? Minnie? Donald? (Flips) pluto? Hyuck, there you are, say, you should all be careful, somebody might trip over you (Mickey wipes the dust off himself)
:'''Mickey''': well looks like everybody's here!

== Season 1 ==
=== Daisy-Bo-Peep [1.01] ===
:''[first lines; Toodles displays the title and Mickey Mouse narrates it; a sheep runs to the center, baa-ing at the audience; Toodles zooms away to the left and them the camera pans down to Mickey]''
:'''Mickey''': Welcome to our clubhouse! Are ya ready to play? [pauses, waiting for a response from the viewer] Hot dog!
:''[Pluto comes by, sniffing the floor and then mickey puts his foot up
:'''Mickey''': Speaking of dogs... look! it's Pluto, and he's sniffing somethin, Hey uh, I wonder what it could be?
:'''Sheep''': baa
:'''Mickey''': Whoa! Did you hear that? Hmm, what animal makes that sound? ''[pauses for a couple of seconds while Pluto continues sniffing]'' A sheep! Right! If you see a sheep anywhere, say &quot;Sheep!&quot;
[Pluto sniffs for the sheep In front of the red chair] [a sheep pops up from behind saying...]
:'''Sheep''': baa!
[Pluto jumps in fright and then spotted the sheep]
:'''pluto''': bark bark
:'''Mickey''': huh, y-you seen a sheep? [Mickey looks at the sofa] wh-where? [Mickeys eyes blink as he waits for a response]
:'''Mickey''': behind the chair? [Mickey looks at sofa again and then this time, he founds the sheep]
:'''Mickey''': there it is, you found it [Mickey walks to the sheep then stroke his wool] 
:'''Mickey''': hiya sheep
:'''Sheep''': baa
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) hmm, I wonder what a sheep's doing in the clubhouse?
[As Pluto creeps behind the sheep, Mickey thinks, after Pluto creeps, the sheep...]
:'''Sheep''': BAA

=== A surprise for Minnie [1.02] ===
(In the fountain, minnie and daisy and Pluto sit, waiting for Mickey and donald)
:'''Daisy''': hmm, I wonder where Mickey and Donald could be, (looks at sky) it's getting kinda late
(Minnie chuckles)
:'''Minnie''': don't sorry daisy, they'll be here. Mickey never forgets valentines day
:'''Mickey''': minnie!
:'''Minnie''': mickey!
:'''Donald''': daisy!
:'''Both''': HAPPY VALENTINES DAY (Mickey chuckles)
:'''Donald''': aw

===Goofys bird [1.03]===
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) we got our mousketools, alright
:'''Mickey''': now, we can take baby red bird back home to the forest
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet tweet (goofy hold baby red bird in his hands and leave)
:'''Mickey''': but first, we need to go up to the telescope to find the forest
:'''Mickey''': everybody say. Telescope!
:'''Mickey and goofy''': TELESCOPE (a cup car appear from nowhere as Mickey and goofy jump and land straight to the cup cars seats) (it's seat belts strap Mickey and goofy as they sit)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckkes) hold on tight everybody (the cup car head straight up like a rocket, and zooms off)
(They make their way up to the telescope)
:'''Mickey''': whoa, yippie
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet
:'''Goofy''': he's eating
(The cup car heads right to the ear where the telescope is) (the clubhouse right ear opens up revealing a telescope)
:'''Mickey''': the telescope can help us see things see away
:'''Mickey''': let's see if we can find the forest (as Mickey hold the telescope out for the viewer to see, the camera zooms straight at the telescope) (in the telescopes view, a beautiful view of trees appear, the telescope turns to the right revealing a lake)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest? (Waits for response)
:'''Mickey''': nope, that's a lake, forests are made up of trees, let's keep looking
(The telescope turns right fast revealing Minnie and daisy eating outside the Mickey parks bar)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest? (Waits for response again)
:'''Mickey''': nuh uh, that's Mickey park
(The telescope turns right once again, but this time, it was the right location)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest?
:'''Mickey''': you betcha, that's a forest
:'''Mickey''': ha, good job pal (Mickey gives the viewer a thumbs up)
:'''goofy''': but mickey, how are we gonna get baby red bird, all the way to the forest?
:'''Mickey''': hmm, i got it! We can fly the glove balloon to the forest
:'''goofy''': well whaddya ya know
:'''Mickey''': glove balloon, here we come
:'''goofy''': baby red bird, we're taking you home
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet tweet

===Donalds big balloon race [1.04]===
:'''Mickey''': you know what? I once won a big blue ribbon in the balloon race
:'''Mickey''': see? That's me
:'''Mickey''': and these are all the other winners of the balloon race
:'''Mickey''': here's Minnie [Minnie wears a blue ribbon]
:'''Mickey''': here's daisy [Daisy wears a blue ribbon]
:'''Mickey''': Goofy [goofy wears a blue ribbon while pointing at it]
:'''Mickey''': and Pluto [Pluto wears a blue ribbon while sticking out his tongue]
[Mickey walks to the end of the hall of fame]
:'''Mickey''': when they cross the finish line first
:'''Mickey''': they got a big blue ribbon too
:'''Mickey''': but there's one of us who still hasn't won the big balloon race
:'''Mickey''': let's guess who it is
:'''Mickey''': he has feathers [acting like donald] a yellow beak [initiating donald's big fat beak]
:'''Mickey''': and a sailor suit (foghorn)
:'''Mickey''': uh huh, it's Donald duck, right!
:'''Donald''': that's me (fanfare)
:'''Mickey''': ho ho donald, 
:'''pluto''': bark bark [Pluto floats on a balloon, tied to his skin, he leaves the camera]
:'''Donald''': hiya Mickey
:'''Mickey''': hiya pal, say uh donald?
:'''Mickey''': you gonna fly your balloon in the big balloon race?
:'''Donald''': you bet, and this time I'm gonna win!
:'''Mickey''': ha ha, that's great
:'''Mickey''': donald, do you need any help, you know, flying your balloon?
:'''Donald''': no. I can do it all by myself [Donalds rope yanks as Donald zooms off]
:'''Donald''': wah? Whoa!
:'''Mickey''': donald, wait! Where you going?
:'''pluto''': bark bark bark [Pluto tries to catch up, but his balloon was stuck] [luckily a handy helper was here with a pin, he pops the balloon] [and Pluto runs to Mickey and Donald] [outside Donald was dangling on the rope]
:'''Donald''': hey, mickey, look, uh oh, what's going on?
:'''Mickey''': hold on donald!
:'''Donald''': ha ha, wow! Whoo-hoo, this is fun, grab on
[Mickey jumps off the table them grab onto Donalds leg] [as he held on he later held the balloon down safely, Pluto helps, and so did donald]
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we got Donalds balloon back down to the ground
:'''Donald''': whew, that was close, thanks [Mickey ties up donalds balloon to a tree]
:'''mickey''': uh, donald, are you sure we can't help you fly your balloon in the big balloon race?
:'''Donald''': well, okay
:'''Mickey''': hot dog, say, do you want to help Donald fly his balloon for the big balloon race?
:'''Donald''': so I can win the big blue ribbon? [The gang waits for a response from the viewer]
:'''Mickey''': super! [Mousekedoer tune plays] We're gonna need our mouseketools to help us
:'''Mickey''': come on everybody, let's go to the mousekedoer and get our mouseketools

===Mickey goes fishing [1.05]===
:'''Mickey''': welcome to our clubhouse
:'''pluto''': bark [Pluto runs in the camera, turns around, and pose right next to mickey]
:'''Mickey''': hey, (chuckles) it's my pal pluto, say hiya pluto!
:'''pluto''': bark, bark
:'''Mickey''': ha ha [goofy zooms with a packet full of gooey fish, he nearly lose his balance, then he freezes]
:'''Goofy''': whoa, oh uh, hiya Mickey
:'''Mickey''': hi goof, nice hat
:'''Goofy''': yeah, it's a safari hat, cause I'm going so-fari away hyuck
:'''Mickey''': ha ha
:'''Goofy''': hey, would you mind taking care of my little kitten while I'm gone?
:'''Mickey''': aw sure, no problem
:'''Goofy''': great! Here ya go [a kitten named mr Pettibone pop outs from goofys safari hat them jumps onto Mickeys hands
:'''goofy''': his name is mr pettibone [he purrs on mickeys face, then jumps out to see pluto]
:'''mr pettibone''': meow
:'''pluto''': bark bark bark
:'''mickey''': ha ha
:'''Goofy''': thanks, your a real pal, have fun little buddy [mr pettibone purrs as goofy strokes him]
:'''Goofy''': see ya [goofy start leaves the camera but he stops]
:'''Goofy''': gosh, I almost forgot, Mr pettibone only eats big red Gooey fish
:'''Goofy''': see ya later [goofy leaves the camera]

== Specials ==
=== ''Mickey's Great Clubhouse Hunt'' ===
:''[first lines; as usual, Mickey Mouse walks towards the camera and says his usual lines, until the camera pans to the left revealing the clubhouse gone]''
:'''Mickey''': Oops! ''[chuckles]'' Gee, I forget this every time. Now to make the clubhouse appear, we need to say the magic words, exactly right. 'Cause if we don't, well, something funny might happen. The magic words are: Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse! Say it with me. Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse!
:''[the clubhouse appears; the intro then proceeds as normal, but with more sound effects this time]''


:'''Pete''': ''[singing] Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse! [later, a few scenes, after the Clubhouse floats away] This can't be right. Now, uh, hubbsie, pubbsie, shobby-doo-doo! Uh, handsy-glovey! Please come down! [The glove balloon flys away] Oopsie, I said the wrong magic words, didn't I? Drat, I'm in big trouble, now! [sees Mickey humming] Oh, ding-dong it, it's Mickey! I better get out of here before he sees me! [Pete leaves before grabing his mickey mouse disguised hat]
:'''Mickey''': strange that clarabelle wasn't in the bakery [pluto looks to the front of the camera]
[Mickey became shocked to find  that the clubhouse, the shoe garage, the glove balloon, &amp; plutos doghouse gone]
:'''Mickey''': huh, what happened to the clubhouse? [Mickey cups his ear waiting for a response from the viewer]
:'''Mickey''': the clubhouse flow away, who made that happened? [Mickey looks at the viewer watching]
:'''mickey''': pete did? He said the wrong magic words, uh oh. We gotta go get the clubhouse back, &amp; rescue, minnie, goofy, daisy, &amp; donald, or we won't be able to have our easter party.
:'''Pluto''': woof
:'''Mickey''': will you help us find all the pieces of the clubhouse and get our friends back? [Mickey cup his ear again waiting for a response]
:'''Mickey''': hot dog. [Pluto starts sniffing on the ground trying to look for the clubhouse]
:'''Mickey''': hey look, plutos already on the trail, atta boy pluto, cmon lets look for the clubhouse
[Mickey walks away from the camera, &amp; follows pluto while he continues sniffing]
[After a few steps, mickey &amp; pluto stop]
:'''Mickey''': aw pluto, how will we ever find all the pieces of the clubhouse? [Mickey and pluto look at the sky as a jetpack fly past, it's professor ludwig von drake, flying around in his jetpack] [he comes to a halt and lands down on the ground]
:'''Mickey''': Oh boy, it's professor von drake! [Von drake presses a button on his jetpack and it retracts, he takes it off]
:'''Von drake''': ho ho, hello there mickey
:'''Mickey''': professor? We need your help, the clubhouse is flowing away
:'''Von drake''': ooh your telling me, I almost rocking the way to the clubhouse pants, fortunately professor went under the pants [he whispers to the audience] I said, i need a pants, [laughs] did you hear that? [back to mickey]
:'''Mickey''': You saw the clubhouse pants?
:'''Von drake''': That's right, &amp; it landed, right over there [He points to the pants of the clubhouse near to some trees nearby] [mickey runs to the pants]
:'''Mickey''':  Oh minnie! [Minnie opens the door to see mickey on the doorstep]
:'''Minnie''': Oh, you found me
:'''Mickey''': ha ha, we rescued minnie [Von drake &amp; pluto joined in but pluto smells Pete hiding in the bushes] [he turns his head, and points to where he's sniffing]
:'''Mickey''': hey, wait a minute. THATS PETE! [Pete pops out of the bush]
:'''Pete''': goosebumps [he runs away]
:'''Von drake''': oh that Pete is running away
:'''Mickey''': aw pete must think i'm upset at him for making the clubhouse go away, b-but i'm not, gee, we could really use his help  [Mickey put his hand on his chin]
:'''Von drake''': don't worry about that mickey, [conforts mickey] now that we found the pants, we got the mousekedoer to help us
:'''Mickey''': say, that's right professor
:'''Minnie''': oh, that means we can use our mouseketools!
:'''Mickey''': hotdog ha ha, [mousekedoer tune plays] come on everybody, let's go get our mouseketools from the mousekedoer [Mickey runs into the clubhouse]
(After that)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we got our mouseketools, now let's go and find the other pieces of the clubhouse
:'''Minnie''': and rescue donald, daisy, and glory (Pluto barks as in: let's go) (the gang starts to leave but the professor stops them)
:'''von drake''': oh hold on mickey, we've gotta get this pants piece back where it belongs
:'''Mickey''': oops, you're right
:'''Minnie''': hmm, how are we gonna do that professor
(Von drake explains with a smirk)
:'''Von drake''': every time you find a piece of the clubhouse, you've had to touch it, like so (Von drake touches the wall)
:'''Von drake''': them your gonna say the right magic words
:'''Mickey ''': well we know those. Meeska. Mooska. Mickey mouse
(Professor nods)
:'''Von drake''': that's right, and after you say the magic words, hoo, the piece will fly back home with you
:'''Mickey mouse ''': let's send the pants back home, everybody say the right magic words.
:'''everyone''': meeska, mooska, MICKEY MOUSE!
(they touch bits of the clubhouse and they all sparkle as Mickey, minnie, and von drake touch) (the pants prepares to fly and...
:'''Von drake ''': whoopdeedoo, here we go! (And the pants flies off to the great beyond) (After a while it lands in the middle of the clubhouse where the glove balloon and shoe garage should be) (the sparkles disappear and the gang head out)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we did it
:'''Von drake''': well ain't that something, the pants are back!
:'''Mickey ''': they sure are (to viewer) thanks everybody!

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
*[http://disneyjunior.disney.com/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ Disney Junior]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0784896/ IMDb]
*[http://www.tv.com/shows/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ TV.com]

[[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
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[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
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[[Category:American preschool education TV shows]]
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[[Category:Disney Junior shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about mice and rats]]
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    <title>Whigs (British political party)</title>
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      <text bytes="17797" xml:space="preserve">The '''[[w:Whigs (British political party)|Whigs]]''' were a {{w|political faction}} and then a [[political party]] in the parliaments of [[Parliament of England|England]], [[W:Parliament of Scotland|Scotland]], [[W:Parliament of Great Britain|Great Britain]], [[W:Parliament of Ireland|Ireland]] and the [[Parliament of the United Kingdom|United Kingdom]].

==Quotes==
*[T]here are...powerful Motives to make the Whigs open their Arms to embrace all Strangers: One to strengthen their Party. For I scarce ever knew a Foreigner settled in ''England'', whether of ''Dutch'', ''German'', ''French'', ''Italian'' or ''Turkish'' Growth, but became a Whig in a little time after mixing with us: An Argument that all the World know our Constitution better than we; or that as Strangers have less Concern for us, they strike in with those who are the least affected to ''England''. 
**[[Francis Atterbury]], ''English Advice, to the Freeholders of England'' (1714), pp. 23–24

*A body of men connected with high rank and property, bound together by hereditary feelings, party ties, as well as higher motives, who in bad times keep alive the sacred flame of freedom, and when the people are roused stand between the constitution and revolution and go with the people, but not to extremities.
**[[w:Sir Francis Baring, 1st Baronet|Sir Francis Baring]], letter (15 February 1855), quoted in Robin James Moore, ''Sir Charles Wood's Indian Policy, 1853–66'' (1966), p. 19

*You may observe yourself...what a difference there is between the true strength of this nation and the fictitious one of the Whigs. How much time, how many lucky incidents, how many strains of power, how much money must go to create a majority of the latter; on the other hand, take but off the opinion that the Crown is another way inclined, the church interest rises with redoubled force, and by its natural genuine strength.
**[[Henry St John, 1st Viscount Bolingbroke|Lord Bolingbroke]] to Mr. Drummond (10 November 1710), quoted in Gilbert Parke, ''Letters and Correspondence, Public and Private, of The Right Honourable Henry St. John, Lord Visc. Bolingbroke; during the Time he was Secretary of State to Queen Anne; with State Papers, Explanatory Notes, and a Translation of the Foreign Letters, &amp;c.: Vol. I'' (1798), pp. 16–17

*The party with which I acted had, by the malevolent and unthinking been reproached, and by the wise and good always esteemd and confided in—as an aristocratick Party. Such I always understood it to be in the true Sense of the word. I understood it to be a Party, in its composition and in its principles, connected with the solid, permanent long possessed property of the Country; a party, which, by a Temper derived from that Species of Property, and affording a security to it, was attached to the antient tried usages of the Kingdom, a party therefore essentially constructed upon a Ground plot of stability and independence; a party therefore equally removed from servile court compliances, and from popular levity, presumption, and precipitation.
**[[Edmund Burke]], letter to William Weddell (31 January 1792), quoted in P. J. Marshall and John A. Woods (eds.), ''The Correspondence of Edmund Burke, Volume VII: January 1792–August 1794'' (1968), pp. 52-53

*I look upon the Whigs as an anti-national party... Believing that the policy of the party was such as must destroy the honour of the kingdom abroad and the happiness of the people at home, I considered it my duty to oppose the Whigs, to ensure their discomfiture, and, if possible, their destruction.
**[[Benjamin Disraeli]], speech in Taunton (28 April 1835), quoted in William Flavelle Monypenny and George Earle Buckle, ''The Life of Benjamin Disraeli, Earl of Beaconsfield. Vol. I, 1804–1859'' (1929), p. 286

*&quot;I look upon an [[w:Orange Order|Orangeman]],&quot; said Coningsby, &quot;as a pure Whig; the only professor and practiser of unadulterated [[w:Whiggism|Whiggism]].&quot;
**[[Benjamin Disraeli]], ''[[w:Coningsby (novel)|Coningsby; Or, The New Generation]]'', Vol. III (1844), p. 38

*[A]s a rule a man not born a Liberal, may become a Liberal; but to be a Whig, he must be a born Whig.
**[[William Ewart Gladstone]], 'Lord Macaulay', ''Quarterly Review'', Vol. 142 (July &amp; October 1876), p. 16

*I have always said the first Whig was the Devil.
**[[Samuel Johnson]] (1778), from [[James Boswell|James Boswell's]] ''[[w:Life of Samuel Johnson|Life of Samuel Johnson]]''

*''The ‘old [[w:Presbyterianism|Presbyterians]]’''. This was the oldest section of the party in two senses: it derived from the minority which had opposed the [[w:Clarendon Code|Clarendon code]] in the 1660's, and its members were veterans, survivors from an earlier age. They were to be distinguished from the majority of the Whigs by a genuine and positive zeal for religious reform and [[w:Protestantism|Protestant]] unity. All Whigs constantly talked of this, but most meant it largely in a negative sense, as much political as religious, meaning hostility to [[w:Popery|Popery]] and to those stigmatised as crypto-[[w:Papist|Papists]]. But this section, sincerely sympathetic to the [[w:English Dissenters|dissenters]] although few of its members personally attended [[w:Conventicle#England under the Stuarts|conventicles]], tried to effect [[toleration]] and a wide measure of comprehension as real objectives and not merely a tactical or vote-catching moves.
**[[w:J. R. Jones|J. R. Jones]], ''The First Whigs: The Politics of the Exclusion Crisis, 1678–1683'' (1961), p. 10

*''The ‘country Opposition’''. A majority of the Whigs can be placed in this category, which again became an important factor in politics during the regroupings which followed the fall of the [[w:Cabal ministry|Cabal]], under the leadership of [[Anthony Ashley Cooper, 1st Earl of Shaftesbury|Shaftesbury]] and [[w:George Villiers, 2nd Duke of Buckingham|Buckingham]]. Its title, &quot;country&quot;, implied the claim that it represented the nation at large against a small, corrupt faction—the Court and its creatures. Like the title, its principles were traditional, those which had been evolved during the reigns of [[James I of England|James I]] and [[Charles I of England|Charles I]]: they can be summarised as honest administration and ministerial respect for the law, no favourites, the consultation of Parliament and the prompt redress of grievances, financial retrenchment and the furtherance of trade, insularity, and the defence of the Protestant religion.
**[[w:J. R. Jones|J. R. Jones]], ''The First Whigs: The Politics of the Exclusion Crisis, 1678–1683'' (1961), p. 11

*Apart from the crooks and opportunists the Whigs were fundamentally anti-French... Although they were for the moment concerned exclusively with the succession, they hated [[France]] and [[Louis XIV of France|Louis]], partly for reasons of religion, because of her increasing rivalry as a commercial, colonial, and naval power, and as the most highly developed and influential of [[w:Absolute monarchy|absolute monarchies]].
**[[w:J. R. Jones|J. R. Jones]], ''The First Whigs: The Politics of the Exclusion Crisis, 1678–1683'' (1961), p. 150

*To the Whigs of the seventeenth century we owe it that we have a House of Commons. To the Whigs of the nineteenth century we owe it that the House of Commons has been purified. The abolition of the slave-trade, the abolition of colonial slavery, the extension of popular education, the mitigation of the rigour of the penal code, all, all were effected by that party; and of that party, I repeat, I am a member. I look with pride on all that the Whigs have done for the cause of human freedom and of human happiness. I see them now hard pressed, struggling with difficulties, but still fighting the good fight. At their head I see men who have inherited the spirit and the virtues, as well as the blood, of old champions and martyrs of freedom... While one shred of the old banner is flying, by that banner will I at least be found. 
**[[Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1st Baron Macaulay|Thomas Macaulay]], speech in Edinburgh (29 May 1839), quoted in ''Speeches of The Right Honorable T. B. Macaulay, M.P., Vol. I'' (1853), pp. 219-220

*The British Whig, in the natural history of politics, forms a species which, like all those of the amphibious class, exists very easily, but is difficult to describe. Shall we call them, with their opponents, Tories out of office? or, as continental writers love it, take them for the representatives of certain ''popular'' principles? In the latter case we should get embarrassed in the same difficulty as the historian of the Whigs, {{w|George Wingrove Cooke|Mr. Cooke}}, who, with great ''naïvété'' confesses in his “History of Parties” that it is indeed a certain number of “liberal, moral and enlightened principles” which constitutes the Whig party, but that it was greatly to be regretted that during the more than a century and a half that the Whigs have existed, they have been, when in office, always prevented from carrying out these principles. So that in reality, according to the confession of their own historian, the Whigs represent something quite different from their professed-liberal and enlightened principles.” Thus they are in the same position as the drunkard brought up before the {{w|Lord Mayor}} who declared that he represented the Temperance principle but from some accident or other always got drunk on Sundays.
**[[Karl Marx]], ''[https://www.marxists.org/archive/marx/works/1852/08/06.htm The Elections in England. — Tories and Whigs]'', {{w|New York Daily Tribune}} (August 6, 1852)

*The Whigs as well as the Tories, form a fraction of the large [[landed property]] of Great Britain. Nay, the oldest, richest and most arrogant portion of English landed property is the very nucleus of the Whig party.
**[[Karl Marx]], ''[https://www.marxists.org/archive/marx/works/1852/08/06.htm The Elections in England. — Tories and Whigs]'', {{w|New York Daily Tribune}} (August 6, 1852)

*The Whigs are the ''aristocratic representatives'' of the bourgeoisie, of the industrial and commercial middle class. Under the condition that the [[Bourgeoisie]] should abandon to them, to an oligarchy of aristocratic families, the monopoly of government and the exclusive possession of office, they make to the middle class, and assist it in conquering, all those concessions, which in — the course of social and political development — have shown themselves to have become ''unavoidable'' and ''undelayable''. Neither more nor less. And as often as such an unavoidable measure has been passed, they declare loudly that herewith the end of historical progress has been obtained; that the whole social movement has carried its ultimate purpose, and then they “cling to finality.” They can support more easily than ‘the Tories, a decrease of their rental revenues, because they consider themselves as the heaven-born farmers of the revenues of the British Empire. They can renounce the monopoly of the {{w|Corn Laws}}, as long as — they maintain the monopoly of government as their family property. Ever since the “{{w|glorious revolution}}” of 1688 the Whigs, with short intervals, caused principally by the first French Revolution and the consequent reaction, have found themselves in the enjoyment of the public offices. Whoever recalls to his mind this period of English history, will find no other distinctive mark of Whigdom but the maintenance of their family oligarchy. The interests and principles which they represent besides, from time to time, do not belong to the Whigs; they are forced upon them. by the development of the industrial and commercial class, the Bourgeoisie.
**[[Karl Marx]], ''[https://www.marxists.org/archive/marx/works/1852/08/06.htm The Elections in England. — Tories and Whigs]'', {{w|New York Daily Tribune}} (August 6, 1852)

*It is evident what a distastefully heterogeneous mixture the character of the British Whigs must turn out to be: Feudalists, who are at the same time Malthusians, money-mongers with feudal prejudices, aristocrats without point of honor, Bourgeois without industrial activity, finality — men with progressive phrases, progressists with fanatical Conservatism, traffickers in homeopathical fractions of reforms, fosterers of family — nepotism, Grand Masters of corruption, hypocrites of religion, Tartuffes of politics.
**[[Karl Marx]], ''[https://www.marxists.org/archive/marx/works/1852/08/06.htm The Elections in England. — Tories and Whigs]'', {{w|New York Daily Tribune}} (August 6, 1852)

*With the Bourgeoisie it has in common the hatred against aristocrats. In the Whigs it hates the one and the other, aristocrats and Bourgeois, the landlord who oppresses, and the money lord who exploits it. In the Whig it hates the oligarchy which has ruled over England for more than a century, and by which the People is excluded from the direction of its own affairs.
**[[Karl Marx]], ''[https://www.marxists.org/archive/marx/works/1852/08/06.htm The Elections in England. — Tories and Whigs]'', {{w|New York Daily Tribune}} (August 6, 1852)

*Preserving the &quot;[[w:Balance of power (international relations)|Balance of Europe]]&quot; was vital to the Whigs because if France mastered Europe it would soon master England, crushing the [[Glorious Revolution|revolution settlement]] and the constitution, which, as they thought, had brought England out of the miasma of arbitrary government.
**James O. Richards, ''Party Propaganda Under Queen Anne: The General Elections of 1702–1713'' (1972), pp. 43-44

*The Whig ideological position, instigated to a high degree by the [[w:Whig Junto|Junto]] again, reflected intensified Whig concerns for the [[w:War of the Spanish Succession|Continental land war]] to contain French aggression and for the revolution settlement, both of which were threatened by a resurgent Toryism. The war had been ended before the last general election of the reign but, according to Whiggism, not before the possibility of a French hegemony in Europe had been eliminated. Whigs charged that the French, supposedly the losers, had gotten better concessions than the victors because Tories schemed thereby to restore the [[w:James Francis Edward Stuart|Pretender]], [[w:Popery|popery]], and French [[w:Absolutism (European history)|absolutism]] on the [[Anne of Great Britain|queen]]'s death. Especially vital to Whiggism of 1713 was opposition to the trade with France which the ministry had wanted and lost in a parliamentary vote. 
**James O. Richards, ''Party Propaganda Under Queen Anne: The General Elections of 1702–1713'' (1972), p. 155

*Belonging to the Whig party, the aim of that party has always been my aim — 'The cause of civil and religious liberty all over the world.'
**[[John Russell, 1st Earl Russell|Lord John Russell]], ''Recollections and Suggestions 1813-1873'' (1875), p. 213

*In the field of his foreign responsibilities [[Joseph Addison|Addison]]'s views were those of a good Whig. He had always believed that England's power depended upon her wealth, her wealth upon her commerce, and her commerce upon the freedom of the seas and the checking of the power of France and Spain.
**[[w:Peter Smithers|Peter Smithers]], ''The Life of Joseph Addison'' (1954), p. 382

*The Whigs...advocated contractual kingship, ardently supported both the [[Glorious Revolution|Revolution]] and the [[w:Act of Settlement 1701|Protestant succession]], were anxious to defend [[w:English Dissenters|dissenters]] against the arbitrary exercise of its legal power by the [[w:Church of England|Anglican Church]], and backed with increasing conviction England's commitment as a major power to the [[w:Grand Alliance (League of Augsburg)|system of alliances]] built up in Europe to contain [[Louis XIV|Louis XIV]].
**[[w:W. A. Speck|W. A. Speck]], ''Tory and Whig: The Struggle in the Constituencies 1701–1715'' (1970), p. 1

*A Tory under oppression, or out of a place, is a Whig; a Whig with power to oppress, is a Tory. The Tory damns the Whig, for maintaining a resistance, which he himself never fails to practice; and the Whig reproaches the Tory with slavish principles, yet calls him rebel if he do not practice them. The truth is, all men dread the power of oppression out of their own hands, and almost all men wish it irresistible when it is there.
**[[w:John Trenchard (writer)|John Trenchard]] and [[w:Thomas Gordon (writer)|Thomas Gordon]], 'Of Parties in England; how they vary, and interchange Characters, just as they are in Power, or out of it, yet still keep their formers Names', No. 96 (29 September 1722), ''[[w:Cato's Letters|Cato's Letters: Or, Essays on Liberty, Civil and Religious, and Other Important Subjects, Volume Two]]'', ed. Ronald Hamowy (1995), pp. 687-688

*The very name of France used to be an abomination to the Whigs: They hated the country for the sake of its government; and were eternally upbraiding the Tories with a fondness for that government. Who would have expected, after all this, that ever the Whigs, or any of them, could have spoken with patience, much less with approbation, of the French government? Any the least hint of this kind was shameful and unpardonable in a Whig.
**[[w:John Trenchard (writer)|John Trenchard]] and [[w:Thomas Gordon (writer)|Thomas Gordon]], 'Of Parties in England; how they vary, and interchange Characters, just as they are in Power, or out of it, yet still keep their formers Names', No. 96 (29 September 1722), ''[[w:Cato's Letters|Cato's Letters: Or, Essays on Liberty, Civil and Religious, and Other Important Subjects, Volume Two]]'', ed. Ronald Hamowy (1995), p. 692

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Commons category}}

[[Category:Whigs (British political party)]]</text>
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  <page>
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      <comment>/* 2022 */</comment>
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      <text bytes="22854" xml:space="preserve">== About AC9016 ==

* I am a Wikiquote user who worked on here anonymously from 2011 to when I created an account in 2016. Since then I have done pretty much the same thing as I was doing before- creating pages for movies, books, people and shows and improving existing pages on movies, books, people and shows whenever I can. I have created the list of pages shown below, and have edited many others. I do my best to comply with site formatting and regulations, but most of all I'm trying to make the site better. I believe that making the site better matters more than strict, legalistic adherence to the rules. Wikiquote offers us the opportunity to make books, films, shows, works of a wide range of types and subjects, available for the entire world to view selections from. We can't show them the whole book, but we can show them some of its gems. We can't show them a movie, but we can show people some of its best dialogue and statements. Wikiquote is a great site, and my goal, as I said, is to do as much as I can to make it better than when I found it. --[[User:AC9016|AC9016]] ([[User talk:AC9016|talk]]) 19:58, 7 December 2017 (UTC)
:I take great pride in not just the number of pages that exist because of me, but what pages they are- generals, admirals, heroes, movies, wars that have altered the course of history. Getting to create new pages, giving a voice of sorts to individuals and events and institutions that anyone can freely look up and use as a starting point for further research- that, in a nutshell, is the point of Wikipedia and Wikiquote. --[[User:AC9016|AC9016]] ([[User talk:AC9016|talk]]) 02:51, 10 November 2020 (UTC)

== Favorite Movies ==
Not a complete list, but here are some that I like.
* [[Casablanca (film)]] (1942)
* [[It's a Wonderful Life]] (1946)
* [[The Long Gray Line]] (1955)
* [[12 Angry Men]] (1957)
* [[The D.I. (film)]] (1957)
* [[The Great Escape (film)]] (1963)
* [[Zulu (film)]] (1964)
* [[In the Heat of the Night (film)]] (1967)
* [[Battle of Britain (film)]] (1969)
* [[Kelly's Heroes]] (1970)
* [[Patton (film)]] (1970)
* [[The Omen]] (1976)
* [[MacArthur (film)]] (1977)
* [[Smokey and the Bandit]] (1977)
* [[Star Wars (film)]] (1977)
* [[Damien: Omen II]] (1978)
* [[Omen III: The Final Conflict]] (1981)
* [[Taps]] (1981)
* [[Tank (film)]] (1984)
* [[Ferris Bueller's Day Off]] (1986)
* [[The Last Days of Patton]] (1986)
* [[Home Alone]] (1990)
* [[Other People's Money]] (1991)
* [[Home Alone 2: Lost in New York]] (1992)
* [[Scent of a Woman]] (1992)
* [[The Good Son (film)]] (1993)
* [[The Mask (film)]] (1994)
* [[Toy Story]] (1995)
* [[Broken Arrow (1996 film)]]
* [[Michael Collins (film)]] (1996)
* [[Sgt. Bilko]] (1996)
* [[Home Alone 3]] (1997)
* [[Mulan (1998 film)]]
* [[The General's Daughter (film)]] (1999)
* [[Toy Story 2]] (1999)
* [[Titan AE]] (2000)
* [[The Last Castle]] (2001)
* [[Treasure Planet]] (2002)
* [[We Were Soldiers]] (2002)
* [[Elephant (film)]] (2003)
* [[Zero Day (film)]] (2003)
* [[Lord of War]] (2005)
* [[The Devil Wears Prada (film)]] (2006)
* [[V for Vendetta (film)]] (2006)
* [[Valkyrie (film)]] (2008)
* [[Tron: Legacy]] (2010)
* [[Dredd (film)]] (2012)
* [[The Hunger Games (film)]] (2012)
* [[The Maze Runner (film)]] (2014)
* [[Look Who's Back (film)]] (2015)

== Favorite Quotes ==

* The sunrise was the colour of bad blood. It leaked out of the east and stained the dark sky red, marked the scraps of the cloud with stolen gold. Underneath it the road twisted up the mountainside towards the fortress of Fontezarmo - a cluster of sharp towers, ash-black again the wounded heavens. The sunrise was red, black and gold. The colours of their profession.
** Joe Abercrombie, ''Best Served Cold'' (2009)

* We do not murder. We do not execute. We do not massacre. We never, you may be very certain, we never torture. We have no truck with crimes of passion or hatred or pointless gain. We do not do it for a delight in inhumation, or to feed some secret inner need, or for petty advantage, or for some cause or belief; I tell you, gentlemen, that all of these reasons are in the highest degree suspect. Look into the face of a man who will kill you for a belief and your nostrils will snuff up the scent of abomination. Hear a speech declaring a holy war and, I assure you, your ears will catch the clink of evil's scales and the dragging of its monstrous tail over the purity of the language. No, we do it for the money. And because we above all must know the value of a human life, we do it for a great deal of money. There can be few cleaner motives, shorn of all pretense.
** Dr. Cruces of the Ankh-Morpork Assassin's Guild, in ''Pyramids'' (1989) by Terry Pratchett

* ''Das Beste oder nichts''
** Gottlieb Daimler's personal motto, translatable as &quot;The best or nothing at all&quot;, &quot;Nothing but the best&quot; or &quot;The best or nothing&quot;. The third translation was adopted for the English version of the motto of Mercedes-Benz starting in 2010.

:Oh that my Pow'r to Saving were confin’d:
:Why am I forc’d, like Heav’n, against my mind,
:To make Examples of another Kind?
:Must I at length the Sword of Justice draw?
:Oh curst Effects of necessary Law!
:How ill my Fear they by my Mercy scan,
:Beware the Fury of a Patient Man.
:* [[John Dryden]], ''Absalom and Achitophel'' (1681), Pt. I, line 999–1005. Compare Publius Syrus, Maxim 289, &quot;Furor fit læsa sæpius patientia&quot; (&quot;An over-taxed patience gives way to fierce anger&quot;).

:Happy the man, and happy he alone,
:He who can call today his own;
:He who, secure within, can say,
:Tomorrow, do thy worst, for I have lived today.
:* [[John Dryden]], ''Imitation of Horace'' (1685), Book III, Ode 29, lines 65–68.

* Those who seek absolute power, even though they seek it to do what they regard as good, are simply demanding the right to enforce their own version of heaven on earth. And let me remind you, they are the very ones who always create the most hellish tyrannies. Absolute power does corrupt, and those who seek it must be suspect and must be opposed. Their mistaken course stems from false notions of equality, ladies and gentlemen. Equality, rightly understood, as our founding fathers understood it, leads to liberty and to the emancipation of creative differences. Wrongly understood, as it has been so tragically in our time, it leads first to conformity and then to despotism.
** [[Barry Goldwater]], in his acceptance speech as the Republican candidate in the 1964 U.S. presidential election.

:*Out of the night that covers me,
:Black as the pit from pole to pole,
:I thank whatever gods may be
:for my unconquerable soul.

:*In the fell clutch of circumstance
:I have not winced nor cried aloud.
:Under the bludgeonings of chance
:My head is bloody, but unbowed.

:*Beyond this place of wrath and tears
:Looms but the Horror of the shade,
:And yet the menace of the years
:Finds and shall find me unafraid.

:*It matters not how strait the gate,
:How charged with punishments the scroll,
:I am the master of my fate:
:I am the captain of my soul.
:* William Ernest Henley, ''Invictus'' (1875)

* No one in this world, so far as I know—and I have researched the records for years, and employed agents to help me—has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.
* [[H.L. Mencken]], 'Notes on Journalism' in the ''Chicago Tribune'', 19 September 1926

* Calm is what you have to be when people look to you. And it's all you can be when things are out of your hands.
** Colonel James Hsu, ''Fallout: New Vegas'' (2010)

* STRIKE FIRST &lt;br&gt;STRIKE HARD &lt;br&gt;NO MERCY
** [[The Karate Kid]] (1984)

* War has changed little in principle from the beginning of recorded history. The mechanized warfare of today is only an evolution of the time when men fought with clubs and stones, and its machines are as nothing without the men who invent them, man them and give them life. War is force- force to the utmost- force to make the enemy yield to our own will- to yield because they see their comrades killed and wounded- to yield because their own will to fight is broken. War is men against men. Mechanized war is still men against men, for machines are masses of inert metal without the men who control them- or destroy them.
** Fleet Admiral [[Ernest King]], ''Fleet Admiral King: A Naval Record'' (1952) p. viii

* The central core of truth is that Christmas turns everything upside down, the upside of heaven come down to earth. The Christmas story puts a new value on every man. He is not a thing to be used, not a chemical accident, not an educated ape. Every man is a V.I.P., because he has divine worth. That was revealed when “Love came down at Christmas.” A scientist said, making a plea for exchange scholarships between nations, “The best way to send an idea is to wrap it up in a person.” That was what happened at Christmas. The idea of divine love was wrapped up in a person. Christmas is good news in a world of bad news. … Christmas brings hope to a dark world.
: ~ [[Halford E. Luccock]]; displayed as the Quote of the Day for 25 December 2017 ~

:Forgive him who wrongs you;
:join him who cuts you off;
:do good to him who does evil to you;
:and speak the truth
:even if it be against yourself.
:~ Inscription on the Sword of Muhammad; displayed as the Quote of the Day for 25 June 2017 ~

* ''Per Ardua Ad Astra''
** Motto of the Royal Air Force; translates as &quot;Through Adversity to the Stars&quot;

* ''Serve To Lead''
** Motto of the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst

:Love all, trust a few,
:Do wrong to none.
:* William Shakespeare, ''All's Well That Ends Well'', displayed as the Quote of the Day for 13 February 2018

* The news today about &quot;Atomic bombs&quot; is so horrifying one is stunned. The utter folly of these lunatic physicists to consent to do such work for war-purposes: calmly plotting the destruction of the world! Such explosives in men's hands, while their moral and intellectual status is declining, is about as useful as giving out firearms to all inmates of a gaol and then saying that you hope &quot;this will ensure peace&quot;. ... Well we're in God's hands. But He does not look kindly on Babel-builders.
** [[J.R.R. Tolkien]], displayed as the Quote of the Day for 3 January 2018

* ''Non Sibi Sed Patriae''
** Unofficial motto of the United States Navy, translates to English as &quot;Not for Self but for Country&quot;

* ''A Posse Ad Esse''
** Motto of the Woodberry Forest School; translates to English as &quot;From Possibility to Actuality&quot;

== Pages Created ==
=== 2011 ===
* [[Lord of the Flies (1990 film)]] - 25 August 2011 (anonymous)
* [[Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant]] - 29 August 2011 (anonymous)
* [[28 Weeks Later]] - 30 August 2011 (anonymous)
* [[Brothers in Arms: Earned in Blood]] 5 September 2011 (anonymous)
* [[Brothers in Arms: Road to Hill 30]] - 5 September 2011 (anonymous)
* [[The Last Castle]] - 12 September 2011 (anonymous)
* [[The Last Days of Patton]] - 14 September 2011 (anonymous)

=== 2012 ===
* [[Carriers (film)]] - 17 January 2012 (anonymous)
* [[Michael Collins (film)]] - 19 March 2012 (anonymous)
* [[The Hunger Games (film)]] - 28 March 2012 (anonymous)
* [[Call of Duty 3]] - 8 April 2012 (anonymous)
* [[Omen III: The Final Conflict]] - 11 April 2012 (anonymous)
* [[Swing Kids]] - 13 April 2012 (anonymous)
=== 2016 ===
* [[Ernest King]] - 19 March 2016 (anonymous; I created this account just after creating this page)
* [[The Maze Runner (film)]] - 27 March 2016
* [[Mark W. Clark]] - 15 April 2016
* [[William Westmoreland]] - 16 July 2016 (This page had actually been created once before, but it was deleted due to there being no properly sourced quotes.)
* [[Wheeler L. Baker]] - 12 August 2016
* [[Maxwell D. Taylor]] - 19 August 2016
* [[Bruce Palmer, Jr.]] - 20 August 2016
* [[George S. Patton IV]] - 11 November 2016
=== 2017 ===
* [[Pat Conroy]] - 27 April 2017
* [[James Dashner]] - 28 April 2017
* [[The General's Daughter (film)]] - 1 June 2017
* [[RoboCop 2]] - 15 November 2017
* [[Look Who's Back (film)]] - 12 December 2017
* [[The Ogre (1996 film)]] - 15 December 2017
* [[The Long Gray Line]] - 15 December 2017
* [[The D.I. (film)]] - 20 December 2017
=== 2018 ===
* [[Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials]] - 25 March 2018
* [[Maze Runner: The Death Cure]] - 1 April 2018
* [[Ann E. Dunwoody]] - 17 October 2018
* [[Rules of Engagement (film)]] - 22 October 2018
* [[Salvatore Giunta]] - 31 October 2018
=== 2019 ===
* [[Alvah Bessie]]- 19 January 2019
* [[Edson Raff]] - 19 January 2019
* [[William D. Leahy]] - 27 January 2019
* [[John Gunther]] - 2 February 2019
* [[Spanish Civil War]] - 9 February 2019
* [[Arthur Rostron]] - 2 March 2019
* [[Hugh L. Scott]] - 3 April 2019
* [[Brightburn]] - 31 May 2019
* [[Mercenary]] - 9 June 2019
* [[Alexander Vandegrift]]- 9 June 2019
* [[Hampden-Sydney College]]- 5 August 2019
* [[William Slim, 1st Viscount Slim]]- 10 November 2019
=== 2020 ===
* [[Lynn Compton]]- 14 March 2020
* [[Donald Malarkey]]- 21 March 2020
* [[MJ Hegar]]- 2 May 2020
* [[Harold Keith]]- 18 August 2020
* [[Maryland]]- 6 September 2020
* [[Raymond A. Spruance]]- 2 November 2020
* [[Irish Civil War]]- 5 November 2020
* [[Kyle Carpenter]]- 9 November 2020
* [[Black Cadillac (film)]]- 10 November 2020
* [[The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2]]- 11 November 2020
* [[The Hunger Games: Mockingjay- Part 1]]- 18 November 2020
* [[Cornell University]]- 23 November 2020
* [[Virginia Military Institute]]- 25 November 2020
* [[United States Military Academy]]- 25 November 2020
* [[The Citadel]]- 29 November 2020
* [[Kiem Do]]- 8 December 2020
* [[Premium Rush]]- 12 December 2020
* [[Russian Civil War]]- 22 December 2020
* [[Jack Bamford]]- 29 December 2020
=== 2021 ===
* [[Hugh Shelton]]- 7 January 2021
* [[Richard Winters]]- 7 January 2021
* [[Hitler Youth]]- 7 January 2021
* [[William Calley]]- 1 February 2021
* [[Austin Mahone]]- 11 February 2021
* [[Harry F. Byrd]]- 12 February 2021
* [[Keith Whitley]]- 15 February 2021
* [[Enzo Ferrari]]- 18 February 2021
* [[Wentworth Military Academy and College]]- 12 May 2021
* [[Brooklyn Nine-Nine (season 8)]]- 3 November 2021
* [[Wonder (film)]]- 28 November 2021
* [[David Halberstam]]- 15 December 2021
* [[Thomas Jones (civil servant)]]- 15 December 2021
* [[Chinese Civil War]]- 15 December 2021
* [[Ty Seidule]]- 15 December 2021
* [[United States Naval Academy]]- 15 December 2021
=== 2022 ===
* [[Bob Altemeyer]]- 3 January 2022
* [[Leo Amery]] - 3 January 2022
* [[Republic of Vietnam Navy]]- 5 January 2022
* [[Royal Air Force]]- 5 January 2022
* [[British Army]]- 5 January 2022
* [[Percy Spender]]- 5 January 2022
* [[Samuel Eliot Morison]]- 5 January 2022
* [[Flamethrower]]- 8 January 2022
* [[82nd Airborne Division]]- 8 January 2022
* [[Tank]]- 16 January 2022
* [[Mark Levin]]- 16 January 2022 (This page had existed twice before; it was deleted in 2007 and again in 2008 due to there being no properly sourced quotes.)
* [[Ferrari]]- 16 January 2022 (This page had existed twice before; it was deleted twice in 2009 due to a total lack of sourced quotes.)
* [[Saab Automobile]]- 16 January 2022
* [[Oldsmobile]]- 16 January 2022
* [[Cadillac]]- 16 January 2022
* [[Judith Levine]]- 17 January 2022
* [[Harmful to Minors]]- 17 January 2022
* [[Harold Lindsell]]- 6 February 2022
* [[Max Rafferty]]- 6 February 2022
* [[Buick]]- 6 February 2022
* [[Ranger School]]- 24 March 2022
* [[Irish Naval Service]]- 22 April 2022
* [[Critical race theory]]- 5 May 2022
* [[Conflict: Vietnam]]- 16 May 2022
* [[MG 42]]- 4 June 2022
* [[Edgar Huff]]- 5 June 2022
* [[William Guarnere]]- 6 June 2022
* [[M1 Garand]]- 6 June 2022
* [[Edward Heffron]]- 6 June 2022
* [[James Forrestal]]- 6 June 2022
* [[Sue Klebold]]- 6 June 2022
* [[Husband E. Kimmel]]- 6 June 2022
* [[John J. McNeill]]- 6 June 2022
* [[Frank John Hughes]]- 6 June 2022
* [[Ford Motor Company]]- 6 June 2022
* [[Irish Air Corps]]- 6 June 2022
* [[Rudy Reyes (actor)]]- 17 June 2022
* [[Evan Wright]]- 17 June 2022
* [[Nathaniel Fick]]- 17 June 2022
* [[Kemper Military School]]- 1 August 2022
* [[Cross country running]]- 5 August 2022
* [[Volleyball]]- 5 August 2022
* [[Wrestling]]- 5 August 2022 (This page had existed once before; it was deleted on 6 May 2008 by UDScott for having no sourced quotes)
* [[Charles B. Dew]]- 14 August 2022
* [[Adam Kinzinger]]- 21 August 2022
* [[Nicholas Irving]]- 21 August 2022
* [[David Bellavia]]- 21 August 2022
* [[Henry Scott Tuke]]- 28 August 2022

=== 2023 ===
=== 2024 ===

== Planned Pages ==
* 75th Ranger Regiment
* Army of the Republic of Vietnam
* Henry H. Arnold, General of the Army, General of the Air Force
* Alan Brooke, 1st Viscount Alanbrooke. British Army. Chief of the Imperial General Staff, 1941-1946.
* Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Season 6)
* Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Season 7)
* Joseph Buttigieg, former William R. Kenan Professor of English at University of Notre Dame 
* Charles B. Dew, Woodberry Forest School Class of 1954, American Civil War historian
* Child abuse
* Cinderella Man- 2005 film
* Detroit: Become Human
* Escape to Witch Mountain (1975 film)
* The Elder Scrolls III: Tribunal
* The Elder Scrolls III: Bloodmoon
* The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
* Exit (2019 film)
* Bradley A. Fiske, USNA Class of 1875
* Flame tank
* Andrew A. Humphreys, USMA Class of 1831
* Aubrey H. Camden
* Irish Army
* Italian Civil War
* Lisa Jakub, former child actor, author of ''You Look Like That Girl: A Child Actor Stops Pretending and Finally Grows Up'' (2015), and ''Not Just Me: Anxiety, Depression, and Learning to Embrace Your Weird'' (2017)
* Tim Kennedy
* David Lipsky, author
* John J. McNeill
* James McBrayer Sellers, USMC (1917-1944)
* James M. Sellers Jr.
* George B. McClellan, USMA Class of 1846, 4th Commanding General of the United States Army
* Kemper Military School
* Nancy Mace- 1st female graduate of The Citadel
* MechWarrior 2: Mercenaries
* Mercenaries: Playground of Destruction
* Mercenaries 2: World in Flames
* Cao Van Vien, one of only two 4-star generals in the history of South Vietnam
* Oakland Motor Car Company
* Dave Richard Palmer, USMA Class of 1956, 53rd Superintendent of the United States Military Academy
* Plymouth (automobile)
* Premature (2014 film)
* University of Richmond
* University of Virginia
* Republic of Vietnam Airborne Division
* Republic of Vietnam Air Force
* Rolls-Royce
* Royal Marines
* Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse- 2015 film
* Harry G. Summers Jr.- US Army, Ret., author
* Survivor guilt
* United States Air Force Academy
* Robert Grainger Ker Thompson, RAF officer, counterinsurgency warfare expert in Vietnam War
* The Aeronauts (film), 2019 film
* The Day Will Come (2016 film)
* The Sadness, 2021 Taiwanese horror film
* The Thinning, 2016 YouTube film
* The Thinning: New World Order, 2018 YouTube film
* Tiger tank
* Toyota
* Ukrainian Air Force
* Ukrainian Navy
* Ukrainian Army
* Ukrainian Air Assault Forces
* Ukrainian Special Forces
* Vietnamese Rangers, elite light infantry of the ARVN

== Project Pages ==
* [[101st Airborne Division]]
* [[2021 storming of the United States Capitol]]
* [[Frank Abagnale]]
* Bob Altemeyer
* [[Perry Anderson]]
* [[Authoritarianism]]
* [[The Black Cauldron (film)]]
* [[Bayonet]]
* David Bellavia- Former U.S. Army SSG and MOH recipient; need to add quotes from his 2007 memoir ''House to House: An Epic Memoir of War''
* [[Bisexuality]]
* [[Wilhelm Bittrich]], Waffen-SS general
* [[Boy]]
* [[Anita Bryant]]
* [[Neville Chamberlain]], British prime minister
* Cornell University
* Critical race theory
* [[William Frederick Halsey, Jr.]]
* [[Chester W. Nimitz|Chester Nimitz]]
* [[Dictatorship]]
* [[Sepp Dietrich]], Waffen-SS general
* [[Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom|Elizabeth II]]
* [[John Feffer]]
* Enzo Ferrari
* [[FernGully: The Last Rainforest]]- LOQ trimming project
* [[Fascism]]
* [[Girls]]
* William Guarnere
* [[Heinz Guderian]]
* [[Günter Grass]]
* [[Rodolfo Graziani]]
* [[Tom Hanks]]
* [[Chris Hedges]]
* [[Harvard University]]
* Edward Heffron
* [[Homophobia]]
* [[Homosexuality]]
* [[Honda]]
* Edgar Huff
* Frank John Hughes
* [[Cordell Hull]]
* [[E. W. Howe]]- Page needs expansion from each of Howe's books/writings, as well as quotes about him
* [[Lee Iacocca]]
* [[Iraq War]]
* Irish Air Corps
* Nicholas Irving- Former sniper in 3rd Ranger Battalion; need to add quotes from ''Basic &amp; Intermediate Combat Survival'' (2011), ''Team Reaper: 3rd Ranger Battalion's Deadliest Sniper Team'' (2012), ''The Reaper: Autobiography of One of the Deadliest Special Ops Snipers'' (2015, with Gary Brozek), ''Way of the Reaper: My Greatest Untold Missions and the Art of Being a Sniper'' (2016, with Gary Brozek), ''Reaper: Ghost Target'' (2018, with A.J. Tata), ''Reaper: Threat Zero'' (2019, with A.J. Tata), ''Reaper: Drone Strike'' (2020, with A.J. Tata)
* [[Islamophobia]]
* Harold Keith- Need to expand this page with more quotes from Keith's 16 books. So far have quotes from five. Books yet to be added are: ''Komantcia'' (1964), ''The Runt of Rogers School'' (1971), ''Brief Garland'' (1971), ''Susy's Scoundrel'' (1976), ''The Obstinate Land: Cherokee Strip Run of 1893'' (1977), ''Forty-Seven Straight: The Wilkinson Era at Oklahoma'' (1984), ''The Sound of Strings'' (1992)
* [[Korean War]]
* [[The Last Unicorn (film)]]- LOQ trimming project
* [[William D. Leahy|William Leahy]]
* [[Henry M. Leland]]
* [[James Longstreet]]
* [[Robert Lutz]]
* [[David Mamet]]
* John J. McNeill
* [[George Meade]]
* Samuel Eliot Morison
* [[John Money]]- stub page
* [[Mrs. Doubtfire]]
* [[The Mummy (1999 film)]]- LOQ trimming project
* [[The Mummy Returns]]- LOQ trimming project
* [[Otto Ohlendorf]]
* [[The Pagemaster]]- 1994 film, LOQ trimming project
* [[Joachim Peiper]], Waffen-SS colonel
* [[Józef Piłsudski]]
* [[Poland]]
* [[Erwin Rommel]]
* Rules of Engagement (film)- 128 minutes runtime, LOQ of 5 quotes per hour for films= 11 authorized quotes. Film currently has 5.
* [[Gerd von Rundstedt]], German Army general in World War II
* [[Same-sex marriage]]- Extremely short page, in dire need of added quotes
* [[Baldur von Schirach]]
* Hugh L. Scott
* [[Secularism]]
* [[Otto Skorzeny]], Waffen-SS commando
* [[Suicide]]
* [[Stand and Deliver]]- Editing quotes and dialogue, LOQ trimming
* [[Top Gun: Maverick]]- Adding quotes and dialogue
* [[Timothy D. Snyder]]
* [[Trumpism]]
* United States Military Academy
* Republic of Vietnam Navy
* [[Vietnam War]]
* Waffen-SS
* [[War in Afghanistan (2001–2021)]]
* [[Betty White]]
* Richard Winters
* [[Yale University]]

== Completed Project Pages ==
* [[Bullying]]
* [[Conflict: Vietnam]]
* [[Down Periscope]]
* [[The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind]]
* The General's Daughter (film)
* [[The Hobbit (1977 film)]] 
* Ernest King
* [[Liar Liar]]
* [[Douglas MacArthur]]
* [[Top Gun: Maverick]]</text>
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  <page>
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      <text bytes="5188" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Ron DeSantis, Official Portrait, 113th Congress.jpg|thumb]]
'''[[w:Ron DeSantis|Ronald Dion DeSantis]]''' (September 14, 1978 –) is an American politician and attorney serving as the 46th [[w:List of governors of Florida|governor of Florida]] since 2019. A member of the [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican Party]], he represented [[w:Florida's 6th congressional district|Florida's 6th congressional district]] in the [[United States House of Representatives]] from 2013 to 2018.

== Quotes ==
===2015===
* Too many in Washington display a ruling class mentality and congressional term limits would go a long way towards restoring the citizen-legislator ethos of the Founding Fathers, Americans of all political background overwhelmingly support term limits, yet term limits have floundered in Congress. An approach that phases in congressional term limits reconciles the self-interest of members of Congress with the public–s desire to see these changes enacted and gives us the best chance to make term limits a reality.
** [https://desantis.house.gov/press-releases?ID=CE85F6D8-D64B-4278-B99C-FF03D323DE2C DeSantis Takes New Approach to Term Limits] (May 4, 2015)

* I think all that has to be vetted in a way that errs on the side of protecting the American people. If there's a chance that someone may be inclined to be an enemy of the country, then I think you have to err on the side of caution.
** [http://www.foxnews.com/transcript/2015/11/27/rep-ron-desantis-on-refugee-debate-err-on-side-protecting-american-people.html Rep. Ron DeSantis on refugee debate: 'Err on side of protecting the American people'] (November 26, 2015)

===2017===
* Look, Hollywood is a cesspool. The idea that Wienstein is alone, or even that conspicuous, I don’t think is true, I think this is pervasive behavior in Hollywood, and I think it does implicate the media. I think they’ve been complicit in it, I think businesses have been complicit in it.
** [http://www.breitbart.com/big-hollywood/2017/11/02/ron-desantis-hollywood-sexual-misconduct-must-investigated/ Rep. Ron DeSantis: Hollywood Sexual Misconduct Must Be ‘Thoroughly Investigated’] (November 2, 2017)

===2019===
*I promised to be the most pro-Israel Governor in America and our bold agenda for my upcoming Business Development Mission to Israel includes many historic firsts and strengthens Florida’s ties with Israel, the only democracy in the Middle East.
**24 May 2019 [https://twitter.com/govrondesantis/status/1132054238266298369 tweet]

===2021===
* We looked at the data that we had from other parts of the world as we were getting into March, and we saw that [[SARS-CoV-2|this was a virus]] that had a disproportionate impact on [[elderly]] people and we're the second-oldest [[state]] in the [[USA|country]], so that was something that was obviously very concerning to us
** &quot;[https://www.foxnews.com/politics/florida-desantis-refusing-covid-patients-nursing-homes  DeSantis: 'Flawed assumptions' led some states to send COVID-positive patients to nursing homes]&quot; (February 28, 2021)

*We are going to stand with our Jewish brothers and sisters and we are absolutely going to stand strong in support of the Florida-Israel relationship. The Legislature and I have worked really hard on a lot of great legislation over the past few years on issues including Holocaust education, anti-BDS legislation, security for synagogues and Jewish day schools, and so much more.
**8 June 2021 [https://www.flgov.com/2021/06/08/governor-ron-desantis-speaks-to-the-jewish-federations-of-florida-about-the-importance-of-stopping-antisemitism-and-supporting-israel/ speech]

*You have hundreds of thousands of people pouring across every month&lt;br&gt;Not only are they letting them through, they’re farming them out all across the country, putting them on planes, putting them on buses. Do you think they’re worrying about COVID for that? Of course not.&lt;br&gt;Whatever variants there are around the world, they’re coming across that southern border.&lt;br&gt;He’s not shutting down the virus. He’s helping facilitate it.&lt;br&gt;Why don’t you get this border secure?&lt;br&gt;Until you do that, I don’t want to hear a blip about COVID from you.
**[https://www.tampabay.com/news/florida-politics/2021/08/04/desantis-to-biden-i-dont-want-to-hear-a-blip-about-covid-from-you/ 4 August 2021] regarding [[Joe Biden]]

===2022===
* It seems that some publishers attempted to slap a coat of paint on an old house built on the foundation of Common Core, and indoctrinating concepts like race essentialism
** Florida Gov. [[Ron DeSantis]] in regards to the ''Stop WOKE Act'' '''[https://www.cnn.com/2022/04/18/politics/desantis-florida-math-culture-war-crt/index.html Ron DeSantis takes his culture war to the next level]''' (Mon April 18, 2022) text+video

== External links== 
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'''[[w:Julio Cabrera (philosopher)|Julio Cabrera]]''' is an Argentine [[philosophy|philosopher]] living in [[Brazil]]. 

==Negative ethics==


* If freedom, according to traditional morality itself, is a fundamental ethical value, the very basis of ethics, one must be aware that the creation of a child may be the first huge disrespect of the freedom of the human person. The issue of freedom suffers here from the same problem as the issue of pain: it is a matter of ethical value that the traditional affirmative ethics is unable to radicalize.
** [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/project-of-negative-ethics/ ''Projeto de Ética Negativa''], p. 28

* Killing someone and giving birth to someone are two violent actions through which, magically, man tries to put himself in God’s place. The victim of a homicide is always helpless, but never as helpless as the victim of a birth. Childbirth spills as much innocent blood as a homicide. If procreation is a free choice, then life is fundamentally unnecessary pain.
** [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/project-of-negative-ethics/ ''Projeto de Ética Negativa''], back cover

* In the light of natural ontology, it is not correct the argument that we do not know anything about our possible offsprings, for example, about the capacity they will have to overcome structural pain; because even we do not know, for example, whether they will enjoy traveling, working or studying classical languages, we do know they will be indigent, decadent, vacating beings who will start dying since birth, who will face and be characterized by systematic dysfunctions, who will have to constitute their own beings as beings-against-the-others – in the sense of dealing with aggressiveness and having to discharge it over others – who will lose those they love and be lost by those who love them, and time will take everything they manage to build.
** [http://repositorio.unb.br/bitstream/10482/17430/3/Livro_CritiqueAffirmativeMorality.pdf ''A critique of affirmative morality (A reflection on death, birth and the value of life)''], 1996, p. 54

* We undoubtedly would not morally justify the behavior of someone who sent a colleague to a dangerous situation by saying: &quot;I sent him there because I know he is strong and he will manage well&quot;. The &quot;strengths&quot; of the newborn do not relieve in anything the moral responsibility of the procreator. Anyone would answer: &quot;This is irrelevant. Your role in the matter consisted of sending people to a situation you know was difficult and painful and you could avoid it. Your predictions about their reacting manners do not decrease in anything your responsibility&quot;. In the case of procreation, the reasoning could be the same, and in a notorious emphatic way, since in any intra-worldly situation with already existing people in which we send someone to a position known as painful, the other one could always run away from pain to the extent his being is already in the world and he could predict danger and try to avoid being exposed to a disregarding and manipulative maneuver. In the case of the one who is being born, by contrast, this is not possible at all because it is precisely his very being that is being manufactured and used. Concerning birth, therefore, manipulation seems to be total.
** [http://repositorio.unb.br/bitstream/10482/17430/3/Livro_CritiqueAffirmativeMorality.pdf ''A critique of affirmative morality (A reflection on death, birth and the value of life)''], 1996, p. 54-55

* Thus, whoever has said to procreate for love, as others kill for hate, might have said a truth, but, no doubt, this person has not given any moral justification for procreation. Saying you have had a child &quot;for love&quot; is a manner of saying you have had him or her compulsively, according to the wild rhythms of life. In a similar way, we might intensely love our parents and, at the same time, consider fatherhood ethically-rationally problematic, and visualize we have been manipulated by them. I may continue to love after having detected immorality, there is nothing contradictory on that. Neither would morally justify a homicide saying we have done it for hate, nor a suicide saying we have done it &quot;for hate against ourselves&quot;. Something can continue to be ethically problematic even when guided by love.
** [http://repositorio.unb.br/bitstream/10482/17430/3/Livro_CritiqueAffirmativeMorality.pdf ''A critique of affirmative morality (A reflection on death, birth and the value of life)''], 1996, p. 59

* People proclaim that &quot;the experience of parenthood is extraordinary&quot; and recommend it to all (and denigrate those who have not gone through it). But we can wonder: &quot;Extraordinary for whom?&quot; It is certainly extraordinary for the parents. When they say that not only they will be happy and satisfied with the experience but also their children, they do not realize the immense asymmetry and mismatch between these two experiences, the experience of creating and of being created. The created child is compelled to accept the experience, to make it good and interesting (and even extraordinary); what other option would they have? This obligation is not present in the parents, where the &quot;extraordinary&quot; nature of the experience is part of an engaging and unilateral project. The situations of both parties are not comparable. Thus, when some reply: &quot;There is no sense in you wanting to show that life is bad; you cannot decide for your child; maybe they will like to live,&quot; what does that mean? Of course, in a sense, they are compelled to like life! But this &quot;liking&quot; will always be a desperate acceptance. The created child is not in a position of really liking life. They could like it if they had really chosen to come into being. Faced with the fait accompli, they are forced to cling desperately to life. Either they &quot;like it&quot; or they will be destroyed (by a mental illness, or by the hostility of others). 
** [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/09/28/first-chapter-of-because-i-love-you-you-will-not-be-born/ ''Porque te amo, não nascerás! Nascituri te salutant''], 2009, pp. 25–26

* The being of human life is to have arisen as a force contrary to the internal terminality of being: the human being decays, deteriorates and dies in the sense of doing all this in an oppositional, reactive, escaping manner, as if the being given to humans could not be lived in its positivity but always negatively, reactively, creatively. But the terminality of being will eventually occupy all the creative space, swallowing the “mortal-being” that decays, deteriorates and dies. In its place will appear the hole that constituted it from the very beginning and that only now became totally evident.
** [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/09/28/first-chapter-of-because-i-love-you-you-will-not-be-born/ ''Porque te amo, não nascerás! Nascituri te salutant''], 2009, p. 34

* Would a genuinely rational agent choose to be born? My argument against R. M. Hare can be reread in the &quot;Critique of Affirmative Morality&quot; (...). There I suggest that in the experiment where the non-being is magically consulted about their possible birth, Hare is mistaken in assuming uncritically that &quot;they&quot; would undoubtedly choose to be born. (This is the usual affirmative trend.) Let us suppose that we are talking about a human being, that is, a rational creature capable of pondering reasons. The information that is given to this possible being in Hare's experiment is incomplete and biased. We should also tell them that if they are born, they will have no guarantee of being born without problems; that if they manage to be born without problems, they will almost surely suffer from many intra-worldly evils; that if they manage to avoid them (and this is possible in the intra-world, even if difficult), we cannot give them any guarantee about the length of their life nor about the kind of death they will have, and they will also have to suffer the death of those they come to love and their death will be suffered by those who love them (if they are lucky enough to love someone and to be loved by someone, which is also not guaranteed). They must be told that if they manage to avoid a violent accidental death, they will decay in a few years (just as the people they love and care about), and that they have a high chance of becoming a terminally ill patient who could suffer terribly until the time of their demise. If it is still possible for the non-being, after having assimilated all this information, to choose to be born, could we not harbor well-founded doubts about their quality as a &quot;rational agent&quot;?
** [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/09/28/first-chapter-of-because-i-love-you-you-will-not-be-born/ ''Porque te amo, não nascerás! Nascituri te salutant''], 2009, pp. 70–71

* Philosophers have always spoken of life as a &quot;preparation for death&quot;, and of philosophy as a &quot;learning to die&quot;. But there is a wisdom prior to that: learning to abstain; not putting anyone in the situation of having to learn to die.
** [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2017/09/28/first-chapter-of-because-i-love-you-you-will-not-be-born/ ''Porque te amo, não nascerás! Nascituri te salutant''], 2009, p. 79

* MV says that the rejection of life appears in later states, but that at the time of birth, and already before, everything is acceptance of life. But, is this so?? What can be said of the outcry with which children are born, of the primordial cry, of the first traumatic contact (studied by Freud) with the world? Is the child’s outcry not already his first philosophical opinion about the world? Why is he not born laughing, or at least calm? When the baby is dumped into the world at the time of childbirth, his first reaction is pessimistic, a protest against disregard and disturbance, an initial outcry that he did not have to learn, as he will have to learn to laugh in the first few weeks or even months of life (which already marks, in the very inaugural act of being, the pessimistic asymmetry: the baby learns to laugh, but is born crying); the baby is born, forced by the desires of others, in an initial desperation, in a cry of deep and abysmal helplessness, in a primordial terror that, immediately, through movements, caresses, comforts, etc., adults will try to soften; movements that will be repeated throughout his life: initial despair followed by protective comforts; but the comforts are posterior to the despair; the despair comes first, and the comforts are the reactions. They are not on the same level. Asymmetry!
** [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2018/04/29/about-the-intellectual-and-existential-superiority-of-pessimism-over-optimism-reply-to-marcus-valerio/ ''Acerca da superioridade intelectual e existencial do pessimismo sobre o otimismo (replica a Marcus Valério)''], 2010, p. 24-25

* Young children continue to cry a lot for several years; they cry and cry endlessly; they may bother us often, but they are right and we have to be moved by their cries and accept that they are a perfectly fair reaction to what has been done to them; some cry until well advanced ages, until finding other forms of protest and manifestation of the suffering; even as adults, we continue to cry in a variety of ways. 
** [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2018/04/29/about-the-intellectual-and-existential-superiority-of-pessimism-over-optimism-reply-to-marcus-valerio/ ''Acerca da superioridade intelectual e existencial do pessimismo sobre o otimismo (replica a Marcus Valério)''], 2010, p. 26

* The parent knows perfectly well that they are giving a product of dubious quality only for their own accomplishment and happiness; in admitting that the person may want to return it, they themselves fully understand the dubious nature of the gift.
** [https://misantropiaemelancolia.wordpress.com/2018/04/29/about-the-intellectual-and-existential-superiority-of-pessimism-over-optimism-reply-to-marcus-valerio/ ''Acerca da superioridade intelectual e existencial do pessimismo sobre o otimismo (replica a Marcus Valério)''], 2010, p. 28
** Description: about procreation and suicide.

* What is meant by &quot;ethics&quot; in this initial context of reflection cannot be anything too complicated or strongly committed to particular ethical theories, but rather quite a basic concept that could be accepted by them all. I propose to speak of a &quot;Fundamental Ethical Articulation&quot; (FEA from now on) to refer to the following concept: In decisions and actions, we must take also into account the moral and sensitive interests of others and not only our own, trying not to give systematic primacy to the latter just because they are our interests.
** [http://philosopherjuliocabrera.blogspot.com/2011/05/negative-ethics.html ''Between two deaths: from born death to dead death''], 2011

* Regretting having to die should be structurally identical to regretting being born, because it is not in our power being born in a non-mortal way. 
** [http://philosopherjuliocabrera.blogspot.com/2011/05/negative-ethics.html ''Between two deaths: from born death to dead death''], 2011

* The best would have been not to be born. Not being born is, in a negative ethics, the absolute good; but it is, precisely, the good that cannot be sought. (Attention: the situation is more radical than in the case of goods that can be sought but never achieved; not being born cannot even be sought).
** [https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8lRhEwzaxOlckVlNG1RVjNPdHc/view ''Summary of the ethical question in Julio Cabrera's Philosophy''], 2014, p. 8

* People talk about the &quot;wonderful experience of parenthood&quot;. Have you ever wondered why it is so wonderful? It may be wonderful because it is very manipulative; manipulating gives a lot of pleasure, because you have a person in your hands. When the child is small you wear it as you want, comb as you want, cut the hair, put on the table, as I have frequently seen it. The adults play with the child, people who would have no subject of conversation or interaction, when their empty, insignificant gray lives would come to light, the child saves them.
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6DiB3OtFu4 ''Birth as a bioethical problem: first steps towards a radical bioethics''], 2018, 44:38–45:22 min.

* The moral tradition says: we have many natural tendencies, but as ethical human beings we have to try to overcome natural impulses. For example, we are naturally violent; human beings are naturally very selfish, trying to focus their decisions on themselves, but ethics is always saying: you have to fight against these natural tendencies. You cannot be all the violent that nature commands, you cannot be everything selfish that nature asks for. So if you tell me that procreation is natural, being natural does not show it to be moral. On the contrary, forgotten Brazilian philosophers like Tobias Barreto put exactly the opposite. Tobias Barreto thought that when something is natural it is bad, and we have to fight it. (The enslavement of one people over others is natural, but it is cultural that slavery must not exist.) So do not tell me that procreation is natural and so we have to do it. All human morality is unnatural; all human morality is artificial, just as our feeding systems in our sophisticated restaurants are also artificial and unnatural. What is the animal that eats the way we eat? Even our sexuality is artificial; it is not purely instinctual, but largely symbolic. If you had that argument in your sleeve, you would still have to show that what comes from nature is moral, because there are many arguments showing that what comes from nature can be opposite of morality.
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6DiB3OtFu4 ''Birth as a bioethical problem: first steps towards a radical bioethics''], 2018, 47:49–49:30 min.

* Of course, the possibility of the newborn not having the strength to endure the life struggle is just a possibility, not a necessity. However, the point is that its mere possibility is enough for moral imputation. There are no strong causal relations between methods of education and raising of children to shape their destinies in life. As they say, a child is &quot;a lottery&quot;. The precautions that progenitors take to avoid certain risks for their children could be precisely the ones that expose them to greater danger. The many human lives that end catastrophically seem to illustrate the very high price to be paid in an attempt to ethically justify the &quot;gamble&quot; of procreation, even if made in the most serious way by the sensitive procreator. However, it is important that even when none of these catastrophes occurs, the success of the newborn in life does not exempt the progenitors from the moral responsibility of having put him at risk of falling victim to one of these calamities. Moreover, even for the child who has &quot;won&quot; the gamble, his &quot;success&quot; will remain forever and indefinitely connected to the unilateral nature of the procreative act. The gamble will have been won, but this will never be the child's own bet. The newborn may get lucky and &quot;win the gamble&quot;, but he was never in a position to refuse to enter into the competition.
**''Discomfort and Moral Impediment: The Human Situation, Radical Bioethics and Procreation'', 2018, p. 151
*It is shocking to see how children's desperate tears, during and after birth, are not taken seriously by adults. Quite the contrary, the baby is surrounded with immense joy, euphoria and celebration. The baby's helplessness is drowned amidst commemorations, gifts, toasts and laughter; the cheerfulness of parents, grandparents and friends totally muffles the unattended agony of the fragile and helpless baby, literally stunned by frightening and overblown attentions, cries and gestures. It is a very stark contrast indeed: the crying child surrounded by the laughter of exalted adults. How is it possible that no painted, no photographer, no cinematographer has ever focused on this moment of severe disparity of attitudes, such asymmetry of emotions and reactions?
**''Discomfort and Moral Impediment: The Human Situation, Radical Bioethics and Procreation'', 2018, p. 162. 

* When someone (including philosophers) defends the alleged beauty of &quot;having children&quot;, they refer to the pleasure of &quot;seeing them grow up&quot;: first as children, then adolescents, then graduated and independent adults (this happens not only in wealthy classes but also, in part, in more modest ones). However, it is strange that, when they speak about children, they inexplicably stop at this point and never refer to their decline, their aging, or their decay; perhaps because they think they will not be there to contemplate this decline. The parents prefer not to see the end of this process, as if the child vanished into thin air. The residual aspect of parenthood is omitted; only the flourishing aspects of the child are visualized. The death of the child-residue is denied any visibility. The consummation of the processes is concealed as something dirty and indecent, not worthy to be shown.
** ''Mal-Estar e Moralidade. Situação Humana, Ética e Procriação Responsável'', 2018, p. 306

* Our &quot;love for life&quot; is always, in some way, unrequited love.... Life does not care about us; it does not even know about our particular circumstances. Contrary to what is said, life gives nothing for free, and everything we manage to obtain is snatched away from us. Life does not need us, but we chase after it, we humiliate ourselves, we beg and accept everything it makes us go through, even the greatest sufferings. Many are capable of the worst moral acts just to preserve their own lives a bit more.... To those who ask, &quot;But, do you not love life?&quot; we should answer, in a poetic way: &quot;Of course I love life; I always did. I always wanted to live, but it is life that does not let me live, that limits me, that hurts me, that makes me ill and destroys me. It is not me who does not want to live, because life is everything I always wanted. I wanted to build things, but life demolished everything I built; I wanted to love others, but life killed everyone I loved. Do not say that I do not love life; it is life that does not love me, that does not love anybody.&quot;
** ''Mal-Estar e Moralidade: Situação Humana, Ética e Procriação Responsável'', 2018, pp. 350-351

* It is very curious that it is sometimes considered cruel or inhumane to raise the issue of the ethics of procreation, as if this showed a rejection of the unborn children, a kind of hatred for their lives. This is a total deformation of the intentions of an ethical reflection on procreation. On the contrary, this reflection is motivated by a deep concern for the possible children, due to the risk of their emergence being the consequence of a thoughtless, constraining and aggressive act towards small defenseless beings, on whom one thinks to have full right to plan everything about their lives to our full desire and satisfaction. A great part of the revolt that awakens in the adult world due to the simple mention of this issue indicates that the parents obtain a great pleasure in the procreative act, and react – sometimes angrily – against those who question this powerful source of pleasure, and consequently the immense power over the one who is going to be born. This total power over another life is intensely seductive and no one wants to give it up. But in the ethical reflection, whatever the subject matter is, it is never an issue of evaluating only the satisfaction we get from our actions, but of pondering whether what we do is right or not, whether the power we can accumulate over more defenseless beings is or is not ethically justified.
** ''Mal-Estar e Moralidade. Situação Humana, Ética e Procriação Responsável'', 2018, p. 463

* What is most curious is that humans of poorer classes are usually the ones who cultivate an unlimited adoration for their mother for having raised them with so many sacrifices. They suffer all kinds of misery, extreme poverty, disease, delinquency, discrimination, exclusion and torture, never realizing that it was their parents who put them in that situation for their own pleasure or due to irresponsible carelessness. And when the child commits some harmful act driven by the despair in which they were placed, people still sympathize with the &quot;poor mother&quot; for having a child that is &quot;so ungrateful&quot;. All inherited misery magically becomes the child's responsibility! The same argumentative scheme which is applied here, is also applied in the theodicies: the impeccable Parent created their child out of love, gave them something very valuable, and also made them &quot;free&quot;, while the child, being free, sinned, thus behaved wrongly and defiled this very valuable thing which was given to them, causing dissatisfaction for their unfortunate parent. It is an almost tragicomic scheme, because it seems to be exactly the opposite: our parents gave us, for their own pleasure and benefit, something of very dubious value which we, as a result of subjection and necessity – that is, very far from any real &quot;freedom&quot; – have to try to improve with a lot of our effort. As long as we do not reverse this prevailing valuation in our societies, ethical issues cannot even begin to be seriously considered, because the mother's viscerally egocentric and manipulative relationship with their children will continue to be regarded as a paradigm of ethical morality, which seems, at least, to be a crucial error of appreciation, a very serious mythology, a colossal mystification.
** ''Mal-Estar e Moralidade. Situação Humana, Ética e Procriação Responsável'', 2018, pp. 538-539

* The &quot;eternal gratitude&quot; is present not only in the early stages of life, but throughout children's long dependence upon their parents during the first ten years of life — in which they are even objects of exhibition — and in the harsh period of adolescence, in which children are endlessly treated as &quot;ungrateful&quot;, as if they were never able to repay their immense debt; everything that is bought for them, for their future, their studies, all those things that the child never asked for, which are part of an affective and economic investment of the parents, is endlessly and for long and hard years, presented as proof of sacrifice and love, as an object of eternal gratitude, never fully repaid by the ungrateful children. The position of parenthood constitutes a powerful mechanism of domination in which even the physical violence of punishments and beatings is justified in favor of the never-requested raising of that being who was thrown into the world, with parents trying to build protections so that their child is not destroyed by the immense gift they just received.
** ''Mal-estar e moralidade: situação humana, ética e procriação responsável'', 2018, pp. 539-540

==Philosophy of language and logic==

* What we notice, for example, when we get involved in ethical discussions on procreation, abortion or death penalty or in logical debates on analyticity, non-classic logics or lexical connections, is that the opposite positions are perfectly tenable, although they are not the positions that we ourselves prefer to take. We understand that our position about, for example, abortion, comes from a set of previous assumptions, preferences, dislikes, past experiences, education and so on, all elements and circumstances that oriented our choice of categories, concepts and modes of reasoning that certainly should greatly differ from the set of arguments of our interlocutors in a dialogue about the matter. Anything we can present about controversial topics like these would be normally opposed or refused by the other party through all kinds of objections. Opposition is not an anomaly, but the current form in which philosophy develops. Two human beings engaging in a discussion about philosophical questions are going naturally and per force to differ in substance and method in almost any topic at issue. What is the point in trying to impose one's own perspective?
** [http://philosopherjuliocabrera.blogspot.com/2011/05/philosophy-of-logic.html ''The negative approach to argumentation''], 2011

* Despite Singer's proud affirmative statement that he has finally discovered the definitive solution to the problem of abortion and can finally settle the issue, his &quot;proof&quot; depends on many possible sub-arguments (which he prefers not to &quot;see&quot;). His pro-abortion argument can only be established if we accept some kind of utilitarian ethics according to which the well-being of concrete human beings is above any abstract or metaphysical idea of the &quot;human person&quot; (something that would make them &quot;intrinsically valuable&quot;). It also depends on the idea that what is ethically relevant is that humans do not suffer unnecessary pain, and on the thesis that a human being can be defined by a set of well-defined relevant properties (the famous &quot;indicators of humanity&quot;). It also depends on a very specific definition of the terms &quot;homicide&quot; and &quot;innocent&quot; in the expression &quot;innocent human being&quot;, and on the deactivation of the idea of &quot;potentiality&quot;, in the sense that someone can be potentially a thing at time t + 1, which would give him rights at t. It is a large number of assumptions without which the &quot;objective&quot; and &quot;definitive&quot; conclusion would not follow. Any debater who does not accept at least one of these assumptions will not accept Singer's &quot;indisputable results&quot;. And contrary to what he says, those who do not accept them are not &quot;simply wrong&quot;, but they assume other perfectly plausible, sustainable and rational assumptions and Gestalten within the network of arguments. Singer drastically ignores all the questions and obstacles in his line of argument (e.g., the controversy over &quot;indicators of humanity&quot;), and it is only in this way that he can still feed the illusion of having &quot;solved&quot; the problem of abortion.
** [https://online.unisc.br/seer/index.php/signo/article/view/7990/pdf ''Introdução a uma abordagem negativa da argumentação''], 2017, p. 164

* I start from the perspective that all that philosophers thought and developed in terms of reflection on language, whatever their perspective and methodology of access (analytic, hermeneutics, phenomenology, transcendental philosophy, critique of ideologies, psychoanalysis) should be considered as &quot;philosophy of language&quot; (...) My idea is that these issues are best viewed not from a single perspective, but from the confluence of several of them. 
** Margens das filosofias da linguagem, Editora da UnB, Brasilia, 2009 (1st reprint), p. 14.

* To paraphrase what Norberto Bobbio (...) once said about Marxism, &quot;one of my favorite phrases is that today one cannot be a good Marxist being only a Marxist. But the Marxist has an irresistible tendency to be just... Marxist, &quot;one could say that today one cannot be a good analytic philosopher being only analytical. But the analytic has an irresistible tendency to be just... analytical.
** Margens das filosofias da linguagem, Editora da UnB, Brasília, 2009 (1st reprint), p. 15.

* It could be said (...) that language is of interest to philosophy insofar as the former is understood not only as a &quot;vehicle&quot; of concepts, but as a framework in which concepts are constituted, concepts that allow the articulation of the world with the intention of making it meaningful to us. In this way, concepts and meaning go together. This &quot;meaning&quot; will be understood in very different ways by the different philosophies of language, and consequently the constitution of concepts will also be variously understood. I call this conception, in contrast to the vehicular theory, the constitutional conception of language.
** Margens das filosofias da linguagem, Editora da UnB, Brasília, 2009 (1st reprint), p. 17.

* Theory of knowledge, ethics and aesthetics are not only three academic disciplines, but three major human accesses to the world (...) Making the world meaningful is an epistemological-ethical-aesthetic undertaking (...) Different philosophies of language will accentuate one or other of these functions. (...) Knowing the world is not all that man does with it, and many thinkers (Schopenhauer, Nietzsche, Freud) have already doubted that knowing it should be considered as the most basic and profound relation that man can establish with the world. 
** Margens das filosofias da linguagem, Editora da UnB, Brasília, 2009 (1st reprint), p. 21.

* (...) my approach to these possibilities of the constitution of signification will be largely negative, following the point of view that characterizes my general philosophical perspective on the world. Such a negative approach in the field of the philosophy of language will be manifested in the fact that here we focus not so much on the successful generation of signification, which (according to my perspective) seldom or never happens, but precisely on the regular obstacles to its establishment. (...) But my approach is negative in a radical sense (...) Each of the philosophies of language constitutes itself as the negation of the enlightening project of the others, each constituting itself as the formulation of the inadequacies of the others. 
** Margens das filosofias da linguagem, Editora da UnB, Brasília, 2009 (1st reprint), p. 22.

* (...) &quot;meanings&quot;, besides having objective dimensions, are also hermeneutic and temporal-historical instances, precisely those that the analytical philosophize cannot grasp, because they are situated beyond their limits of understanding. &quot;Meanings&quot; are instances that can only be fully studied by other philosophies of language, capable of incorporating these experiential elements. 
** Margens das filosofias da linguagem, Editora da UnB, Brasília, 2009 (1st reprint), p. 55.

* Wittgenstein is a philosopher rich enough (or sufficiently vague and imprecise enough) to the point of multiple interpretations. Analytical, hermeneutic-transcendental, phenomenological, and Marxian-dialectical interpretations of Wittgenstein's philosophy are examined (...) as an expository resource to better characterize various types and styles of twentieth-century language philosophies. The assumed pluralism (...) makes all such interpretations as viable, so that none of them dismiss the others as &quot;false&quot;, claiming to have presented &quot;the true Wittgenstein.&quot; This presupposes a conception of what philosophy is and a way of producing and developing it. In each of the interpretations  different aspects of the same thought are accentuated, as in a Gestalt experiment. 
** Margens das filosofias da linguagem, Editora da UnB, Brasília, 2009 (1st reprint), p. 66-67.

* Heidegger's text [On the Essence of Language] will not be indicative of an object already made, but will consist of clues about how to live an experience with speech, an experience that is not &quot;narrated&quot; in the text, but elicited by him. The text will try to put the reader in a kind of scope or &quot;environment&quot; that gives opportunity to this experience. 
** Margens das filosofias da linguagem, Editora da UnB, Brasília, 2009 (1st reprint), p. 144.

* Let us think, for example, of the experience of speaking a foreign language and what happens when one speaks &quot;perfectly and without error&quot;, when one speaks German &quot;as a German&quot;, and in what happens, on the contrary, when one speaks imperfectly, when, through the babble of one who &quot;does not master a language&quot;, a vital dimension is shown that is hidden in the perfectly &quot;dominated&quot; language.
** Margens das filosofias da linguagem, Editora da UnB, Brasília, 2009 (1st reprint), p. 145.

* As Wittgenstein would point out, the word &quot;poor&quot; does not have an absolute reference, but acquires its meaning in reference to specific language games, in which it acquires its reference to the world dynamically. The poverty to which Marx referred does not necessarily diminish by extending the benefits to the workers within the alienated society. A well-paid slave remains a slave and therefore alienated and poor in the Marxian sense. (...) the worker did not enter into a state of &quot;non-poverty&quot; in the relative sense of Marx (and Wittgenstein), but he remains alienated, living with the minimum (relative to the society that alienates him). 
** Margens das filosofias da linguagem, Editora da UnB, Brasília, 2009 (1st reprint), p. 196-97

* Psychoanalysis is not science. But very few things are science. Nor is Kant's ethics a science, but it is a high-level reflection about the human being in his relation with the world, as is Freud's reflection. What seems curious is the scarce insistence about the fact that Kantian ethics is not science, while everyone seems so preoccupied with stressing the non-scientificity of psychoanalysis. 
** Margens das filosofias da linguagem, Editora da UnB, Brasília, 2009 (1st reprint), p. 224.

* Psychoanalysis's interest in discursive breakdown is not merely theoretical, but also because it is regularly marked by suffering, by some kind of emotional involvement (...) Suffering is not an external &quot;accompaniment&quot; to linguistic anomalies, but a constituent part of them. The discursive break is the manifestation of a psychic break. The generation of language anomalies and discontinuities is linked to the attempt to avoid displeasure. The actual compactness of the linguistic chain, that is, the correct filling of it through authentic signs would generate unbearable suffering. 
** Margens das filosofias da linguagem, Editora da UnB, Brasília, 2009 (1st reprint), p. 230.

* (...) why is it illegitimate to eliminate philosophies? Here, logical-epistemic motives and ethical motives are joined. (...) what was thought creates a way of life of thought, one of its reflective possibilities. When a worldview is established, it is indestructible as a possible form of thought, as a direction of reflection; the fact of having thought is inextinguishable, and the only thing to be done with this view is to accept it, complement it or even exclude it, but these three attitudes already imply its non-elimination: the philosophical exclusion of a philosophy by part of another presupposes the recognition of its existence, only counterexamples of its laws are presented  (...) We cannot eliminate other philosophies for a motive similar to that by which we cannot eliminate people. 
** Margens das filosofias da linguagem, Editora da UnB, Brasília, 2009 (1st reprint), p. 276.

* The study of &quot;lexical inferences&quot; (if they exist) should be something that oscillates (...) between ML [Mathematical Logic] and informal logic. In historical terms, we like to say that this is a wittgensteinean undertaking of the intermediate period (...) something that has already passed beyond the deception of the one-dimensional semantics of the Tractatus, but which has not yet fallen into the dense multidimensionality of Philosophical Investigations (...) 
** Inferências lexicais e Interpretação de redes de predicados. Editora da UnB, Brasília, 2007 (co-authored by Olavo da Silva Filho), p. 15.

* We call &quot;divergent&quot; (...) all the systems of ML of the last century that challenge some aspect of the &quot;classical&quot; ML (hence its proper name &quot;non-classical&quot;) (...) Rather, we call here as &quot;hyperdivergent&quot; those logical projects that present logic in a way that is incompatible, or very difficult to assimilate, with its presentation in logic systems, in such a way that it is difficult, or perhaps impossible, to define this logic in relation to classical systems of ML and, consequently, their own divergence as even a divergence. Historically, logical projects such as those presented by Hegel, Husserl and Dewey, for example, are of this nature. 
** Inferências lexicais e Interpretação de redes de predicados. Editora da UnB, Brasília, 2007 (co-authored by Olavo da Silva Filho), p. 272.

* Perhaps the lexical connections ultimately rest on the will to live, on the will to power, on pain, on mortality or sexuality, and not on pure logical structures. If our lexical logics were still considered to be linked to the &quot;dispositional&quot; and the technology of thought (in a Hegelian-Heideggerian line) there would be nothing to do; then it would seem that we went beyond the limits of all that could be called &quot;logic&quot; (...). For a convinced Heideggerian, little will have been gained by moving from the usual logic to [lexical logic]. Notwithstanding this, we feel that there is an intermediate sensitivity to be harnessed and cultivated, which would be between rigid analytical logical forms and wild &quot;continental&quot; existentialism, a sort of existential sensibility of logical forms. 
** Inferências lexicais e Interpretação de redes de predicados. Editora da UnB, Brasília, 2007 (co-authored by Olavo da Silva Filho), p. 276-277.

==Cinema and Philosophy==

* The current professionalized philosophy has been openly understood as &quot;apathetic,&quot; without pathos, exclusively driven by the intellect and leaving aside emotions and sentimental impacts. Only a few philosophers of the last two centuries (Schopenhauer, Nietzsche, Freud, Kierkegaard, Heidegger) have resisted this tradition by questioning the hegemony of intellectualist reason and the systematic exclusion of the emotional component in the task of grasping the world. In this sense, we can call these thinkers of the European tradition &quot;cinematographic&quot;. ** Cine: 100 años de Filosofía. Gedisa, Barcelona, 2015 (2nd edition), p. 9.

* Wouldn't much of what Heidegger, for example, tries to say, almost without success, forcing the German language, forcing it to generate difficultly intelligible phrases, or Hegel's attempts to think the work of the concept &quot;temporarily&quot; putting it &quot;on movement&quot; wouldn't be much better exposed through the images arising from the calm and thoughtful displacement of a cinematic camera? 
** Cine: 100 años de Filosofía. Gedisa, Barcelona, 2015 (2nd edition), p. 19.

* Cinema does not eliminate the requirement of truth and universality, but (...) redefines them within the logopathic phenomenon (...) the universality of cinema is peculiar, it belongs more to the order of possibility than to necessity. Cinema is universal, not in the sense of &quot;necessarily happens to everyone&quot;, but in the sense of &quot;could happen to anyone&quot; 
** Cine: 100 años de Filosofía. Gedisa, Barcelona, 2015 (2nd edition), p. 25.

* (...) A good movie is precisely the one in which the camera disappears, when we are no longer aware of watching a movie, while an avant-garde film tries to turn the camera to itself and show the hidden device. A jocular way of understanding this would be to compare the reaction of a human and that of a cat when we point to an object with the finger; while the human looks beyond the finger trying to discover the object to which the finger points, the cat stares at the finger; in this sense, the cat is avant-garde, it is more interested in the medium (the finger, the camera) than the object pointed. 
** Cine: 100 años de Filosofía. Gedisa, Barcelona, 2015 (2nd edition), p. 30-31.

* (...) the cinematographic image cannot show without questioning, without destructuring, repositioning, twisting, distorting. Cinema cannot be the pure &quot;record of the real&quot; that the photographic conception of cinema usually formulates (and which currents like Italian neorealism have tried to take advantage of). 
** Cine: 100 años de Filosofía. Gedisa, Barcelona, 2015 (2nd edition), p. 43.

* By exerting this effect of shock, visual violence, assault on sensibility, aggressiveness in the show, it is possible for the viewer to acquire acute awareness of a moral or epistemological problem as may not happen to him by reading a treatise on the subject. This &quot;sensitization of concepts&quot; may even question some of the traditional solutions of philosophical questions offered by the concept written throughout the history of philosophy (...) 
** Cine: 100 años de Filosofía. Gedisa, Barcelona, 2015(2nd edition), p. 47.

* By exerting this effect of shock, visual violence, assault on sensibility, aggressiveness in the activity of showing, it is possible for the viewer to acquire acute awareness of a moral or epistemological problem as may not happen to him by reading a treatise on the subject. This &quot;sensitization of concepts&quot; may even question some of the traditional solutions of philosophical questions offered by the concept written throughout the history of philosophy (...) 
** Cine: 100 años de Filosofía. Gedisa, Barcelona, 2015 (2nd edition), p. 47.

* Films do not &quot;have&quot; a meaning that has to be interpreted, but they establish with the viewer an interrelationship from which an unintended meaning arises which was nowhere waiting to be found. 
** Cine: 100 años de Filosofía. Gedisa, Barcelona, 2015, (2nd edition), p. 54.

* Blow-up [Antonioni] shows what Descartes says: our senses deceive us. However, there is no cogito in the images of this film that helps to overcome the unbearable state of doubt provoked by the ambiguity of the facts. Thomas [the young photographer of this film] cannot protect himself in any cozy subjectivity; on the contrary, it is his subjectivity that is stolen by the mysterious force of things. 
** Cine: 100 años de Filosofía. Gedisa, Barcelona, 2015, (2nd edition), p. 171.

* Pessimism seems to have an existential density that optimism - even non-naive optimism - does not have. In Bernardo Bertolucci's famous Last Tango in Paris (1972), the unknown (Marlon Brando) whose wife has just committed suicide, wanders around Paris and casually meets Jeanne (Maria Schneider), with whom he has a rich and violent physical and existential relationship, in an unfurnished apartment, where conventions and the name of things or people do not matter (...) But the moment he can get out of the pit and get back into life, dress well and resume the exercise of usual conventions, knowing her name, marrying and being happy, it becomes a conventional caricature and his relationship with Jeanne abruptly ends (...).
** Cine: 100 años de Filosofía. Gedisa, Barcelona, 2015 (2nd edition), p. 294.

* A &quot;quiet&quot; movie in which &quot;nothing happens&quot;, where people are shown looking through the windows, walking the streets, living in completely banal situations, or simply looking at each other without saying anything, does not satisfy the spectator eager for novelty ( ...) this type of spectator usually says, after watching an ontological film, that he did not like it because in it &quot;nothing happens&quot;: precisely the kind of attitude that Heidegger intends to provoke in his writings, making the absence of pressing entities put us in touch with the being. 
** Cine: 100 años de Filosofía. Gedisa, Barcelona, 2015 (2nd edition), p. 366.

* (...) Paradoxically, the silent cinema inaugurates the act of saying, and the audio cinema the act of silencing. Saying does not need words, but silencing does. The lack of sound was not a &quot;limitation&quot; for silent movies, but rather the lack of silence. And this does not seem to be a strictly Wittgensteinian type of limit. 
** Cine: 100 años de Filosofía. Gedisa, Barcelona, 2015 (2nd edition), p. 426.

* (...) an abstract conception of cinema opposes a photographic conception, marked by technology; because of this I do not like it when photography is talked about as a precursor or pioneer of cinema; photography is related to cinema only mechanically; the poetic predecessor of the cinema, its thinking pioneer, is literature much more than photography; there is nothing intrinsically photographic in the cinema, cinema is as abstract as literature, and so opaque; nor is photography concrete; nothing human is concrete, or transparent, every human is predicative, it shows by hiding, includes by excluding , understands by ignoring, thinks by dispensing (...) 
** Diálogo-Cinema. Edições SENAC, São Paulo, 2013 (in collaboration with Márcia Tiburi), p. 94.

==Latin American philosophy==

* The problem is that they come here and talk about their philosophical problems in their language, and we go there and talk about their philosophical problems in their language.
** [https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8lRhEwzaxOlQXB2Y3N2WDN6bEE/view ''A questão da filosofia no Brasil no contexto da reflexão sobre civilização e barbárie no pensamento argentino''], 2009
** Description: about the problem of colonialism in philosophy.

* We do not just live in an English-speaking world. We live in an English-writing and English-reading world, an English thinking-world. If we write philosophy in Spanish or Portuguese (for example), our thoughts simply do not come into existence; they remain in a kind of limbo, not even as bad or trivial (this would show some kind of visibility), but as not existent at all.
** [https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_e9vR3ALfKVlSzSIbVL2yjG4_6SFIBlI/view ''Why philosophy not written in English does not exist: hegemonic language as ontological policy. The case of South-American antinatalism''], 2018, p. 1

* When a European philosophizes, all his problems are of essence, there is no doubt about the existence of his thought. When a Latin American philosophizes (and this could be extended, for example, to Africans and other marginalized thoughts) he has to prove that his philosophy exists, that he has the right to reflect. (...) I call this a requirement of &quot;insurgency&quot; of Latin American philosophizing: to come into being, the activity of philosophizing from Latin America must insurge against intellectual exclusion (...) not strictly because it &quot;wants&quot; to insurge but because it is not allowed to &quot;arise&quot; in another way (...) Philosophizing from Latin America is reactive and insurgent or it isn't; it is an imperative need for survival. 
** Diário de um filósofo no Brasil. Editora Unijuí, Ijuí, 2013 (2nd edition), p. 13.

* Helplessness is hidden or camouflaged under the professionalised forms of philosophizing, both in analytical philosophy and in the studies of the &quot;experts on Nietzsche&quot;. The fragility intrinsic to all philosophizing (all living) is disguised as an apparently firm, secure and technical way of &quot;mastering subjects&quot; and constructing arguments. But even there, philosophizing cannot hide its original helplessness. 
** Diário de um filósofo no Brasil. Editora Unijuí, Ijuí, 2013 (2nd edition), p. 22.

* I do not try to define philosophy here, but to deprive it of any fixed definition, to make it as free as possible for itself to find its most appropriate, provisional definitions (...). Just as I want to see it free from any &quot;critical&quot;, &quot;theoretical&quot; or &quot;deep&quot; obligation, I would like to live it without the stigma of the edifying affirmativism that has pursued it throughout the arduous times as a struggle against rhetoric, relativism, skepticism, pessimism and nihilism. I believe that philosophy has no duty to seek conceptual edification, salvation by ideas, or the construction of a just society. The fewer &quot;tasks&quot; it has, the better. 
** Diário de um filósofo no Brasil. Editora Unijuí, Ijuí, 2013 (2nd edition), p. 25.

* (...) &quot;institutional philosophy&quot; has transformed philosophical activity into a series of automatic and lifeless movements; in an enormous apparatus where teachers and students appear submitted to static and meaningless routines. (...) students often write their work far from what they would really like to do, works that will be read absentmindedly (and then shelved in large thesis banks that nobody consults) by professors increasingly busy with administrative and political tasks, and who also offer, absentmindedly, the classes that their students will listen for by obligation. 
** Diário de um filósofo no Brasil. Editora Unijuí, Ijuí, 2013 (2nd edition), p. 80.

* In universities, no one is expected to develop a philosophy, and if one tried to do so, they would be evaluated poorly, and considered irresponsible. (...) There is no explicit censorship against this, that is, no one who forbids doing more personal works or essays on national authors, but someone who dares to do so would be heard by a few, or worse, viewed with distanced irony, and the author considered a dilettante or a &quot;weak philosopher&quot;. The &quot;community&quot; itself plays the role of censorship here, dismissing it as an external authoritarian mechanism. Authoritarianism was incorporated into the community. 
** Diário de um filósofo no Brasil. Editora Unijuí, Ijuí, 2013 (2nd edition), p. 81-82

* In the still dominant paradigm, it seems that the possibility of being a &quot;great philosopher&quot; is ab initio discarded. So if this paradigm is accepted, the real alternative would seem to be: would you rather be a great commentator on philosophy or a small philosopher? A genuine philosopher never thinks while foreseeing that they will make great or small philosophy; for he simply thinks, compulsively, his own &quot;things&quot;, his points, his obsessions, and can do nothing but think them. (...) What has to be evaluated is whether, at worst, being a small philosopher is more important than turning into a brilliant commentator or a great expert on someone. 
** Diário de um filósofo no Brasil. Publisher Unijuí, Ijuí, 2013 (2nd edition), p.87.

* At least two different ways of receiving the European legacy could be clearly formulated: (1) Continue to expose and spread the thought generated in Europe; or: (2) Try to receive this legacy in order to assume the same creative attitude that the Europeans have taken to build, value and spread their own philosophy. In option (1), Europe bequeathed us an object of study; in the alternative (2), Europe bequeaths us an attitude. Assuming the first alternative, we present the contents of European philosophy; assuming the second, we try to make philosophy as the Europeans did theirs. 
** Diário de um filósofo no Brasil. Editora Unijuí, Ijuí, 2013 (2nd edition), p. 219-220.

* One of the most curious questions that I hear in discussions about philosophy in Brazil is that my approach is &quot;markedly political,&quot; as if I were introducing politics into the aseptic and uncontaminated body of &quot;pure philosophy&quot; (... ) I want to say from the outset that the ideas that European philosophy is a universal philosophy, and that thoughts born in Latin America or Africa are national, are end-to-end policies; they are part of a policy that, having been instituted and enforced in a hegemonic way, hides its own ideological traits by presenting itself as if it were merely the absolute and objective truth. 
** Europeu não significa universal, brasileiro não significa nacional. Revista Nabuco, Year 1, number 2, December 2014-January 2015, p. 15.

* It may be accepted that philosophical thoughts are universal in the sense of being of interest to humans from anywhere on the planet (...) However, if we do not want to formulate this universality in metaphysical or transcendental terms, we will have to conceive it as the result of a historical process, with a provenance, a circumstance and a perspective, which does not damage the universality of the thought (...) but situates it. What is denied is the idea that philosophical thoughts can arise directly from human reason, from a vision of nowhere. The universality of thoughts does not exempt them from having an origin (...) 
** Europeu não significa universal, brasileiro não significa nacional. Revista Nabuco, Year 1, number 2, December 2014-January 2015, p. 18.

* The place of birth as an organizing center is part of the circumstances of thought, but does not exhaust them. The &quot;from Brazil&quot; is not only a national reference, but an existential-historical circumstance, linked to the particular configuration of the world that we make when we see it from South America and not from Ethiopia or Canada. Names like &quot;Brazil,&quot; &quot;Israel,&quot; or &quot;Paris,&quot; do not allude to nations, but to organizational prospects of the world. While it makes some sense to state that in a globalized world the narrow idea of nation is diluted, it may be fallacious to say that globalization suppresses perspectives and circumstances from which this globalization is to be lived and thought. 
** Europeu não significa universal, brasileiro não significa nacional. Revista Nabuco, Year 1, number 2, December 2014-January 2015, p. 33.

* Students are taught to do philosophy only in one way, in a single style and supported in a single tradition, by studying thoughts from only four or five countries on the planet. Latin American problems and authors (...) seem relevant to the future of young students of philosophy, by posing critical questions to them rather than simply inserting them as workers and consumers of philosophy within a supposedly objective system. Instead of deciding for the student in a paternalistic way, we should find a space for information and discussion where all ways of doing philosophy are presented, discussed and eventually excluded, because even to exclude philosophies they must appear. 
** Europeu não significa universal, brasileiro não significa nacional. Revista Nabuco, Year 1, number 2, December 2014-January 2015, p. 46.

==External links==
{{wikipedia|Julio Cabrera (philosopher)}}
* [http://philosopherjuliocabrera.blogspot.com/ Julio Cabrera's website]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Cabrera, Julio}}
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    <title>The Animals of Farthing Wood (season 1)</title>
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----
:'''Seasons:''' [[The Animals of Farthing Wood (season 1)|1]] [[The Animals of Farthing Wood (season 2)|2]] [[The Animals of Farthing Wood (season 3)|3]]  | [[The Animals of Farthing Wood (TV series)|Main]]
----

The following is a list of quotes from the first season of ''[[The Animals of Farthing Wood (TV series)|The Animals of Farthing Wood]]''.

=== The Wood In Danger [1.1] ===
:'''Badger:''' Look at this place Weasel. Just look at it.
:'''Weasel:''' Doesn't get any better!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Weasel:''' I mean, if you wouldn't call that an emergency, what would you call it? Alice? Ahahaha!
:'''Badger:''' Very funny.
&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Owl:''' He who dwells in the soil shall himself become soiled. He who dwells in the light shall achieve enlightenment.
&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Adder:''' Not lassst, am I, Badger?
:'''Badger:''' Well someone's got to be last, Adder. Follow the tunnel... and don't eat the glow worms!
:'''Adder:''' Ssshucks! I was looking forward to a few glow worms!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Badger:''' Now Friends. Adder. And Fellow Woodlanders.
:'''Owl:''' Do Get on With It!
:'''Badger:''' You don't need me to Underline the Gravity of Our Situation.
:'''Fox:''' We are All Aware that since the Giant Earth Movers have moved in.
:'''Badger:''' Life in Farthing Wood has become steadily more and more hazardous. For one and all.
:''(Toad arrives in through the Roof)''
:'''Owl:''' Well bless my soul. It's that Daft Toad. We thought you were gone for Good.
:'''Toad:''' So have I. I was caught in a Jam Jar by a nasty boy. I've been traveling for months to get back here thinking &quot;I must get back to my Matey's, I must get back to My Pond&quot;.
:'''Owl:''' The Pond is gone and had fallen in.
:'''Fox:''' Sorry Toad. Farthing Wood is being destroyed. We either leave or we perish. That's why we've called this assembly.
:'''Badger:''' Now. Let's continue with the Assembly.
&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fox:''' As a community, we're all but finished here. Man and his machines have seen to that.
:'''Toad:''' Don't talk to me about those machines! I know all about them!
:'''Fox:''' In fact, it must be obvious to everyone here that...
:'''Owl:''' ...If we don't find a new watering hole within the next few days...
:'''Fox:''' ...Then we are going to be in the worst kind of distress. If you know what I mean.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Toad:''' I know the Place that we could go to.
:'''Owl:''' Who asked You?
:'''Toad:''' It's a good Little Place, A Wonderful Place purposely build for animals like us.
:'''Mole:''' Was is Really Toad?
:'''Toad:''' It's called White Deer Park Mole. It's a Nature Reverse.
:'''Mole:''' Is it Really?
:'''Toad:''' It's a Place where all Wild Creatures Are Protected By Humans.
:'''Badger:''' Well Fox? What Do you Think?
:'''Fox:''' Have we any alternative?
:'''Badger:''' Quite. Then White Deer Park it is, Everyone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Badger:''' ''(Reading out the Oath Of Mutual Protection)'' Repeat after me. I do solemly swear not to swallow or otherwise consume anybody...
:'''Adder:''' ''(Whispering)'' Except when nobody's looking!
:'''Badger:''' ...While en route to this place of Toad's.

=== The Journey Begins [1.2] ===
:'''Mr Pheasant:''' It's a nightmare!
:'''Mrs Pheasant:''' Yes, dear.
:'''Mr Pheasant:''' How would they like it if they were hunted all the time? They'd not be singing and dancing then!
:'''Mrs Pheasant:''' No, dear.
:'''Mr Pheasant:''' I'll be a sitting target!
:'''Mrs Pheasant:''' I'll do my best to look after you.
:'''Mr Pheasant:''' ''You''? What good are ''you''?!?

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:''(About Mole)''
:'''Adder:''' Let's do ourselves a favour and give him the slip. Mole's slow, stupid and tasteless!
:'''Badger:''' He's better company than you any day Adder!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Baby Newt:''' ''(Wails)'' Water!
:'''Owl:''' Is seems that some of us can scarcely put one foot in front of the other. The newts won't last the night.
:'''Fox:''' Only you can find water in the dark Owl.
:'''Owl:''' True. I shall fly ahead. Rely on me!
:'''Mrs Rabbit:''' Good luck Owl.
:'''Fox:''' ''(Thinking)'' Luck's something we're all going to need.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(Mr Pheasant is sleeping)''
:'''Mrs Pheasant:''' Wake up, dear.
:'''Mr Pheasant:''' ''(Startled)'' DON'T SHOOT!!!
:'''Mrs Pheasant:''' Time to go, dear.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mrs Rabbit:''' Don't panic! Those newts are on their last legs!
:'''Adder:''' Lucky they've got any!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr Fieldmouse:''' I can face it! Tell me, are we going to die Fox?
:'''Weasel:''' Probably! Ahahahaha! Want to take bets on it?

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(Toad makes a loud splash in the swimming pool)''
:'''Fox:''' How can a creature as small as Toad manage to be so noisy?

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Adder:''' Thisss is going to be interesssting(!)
:'''Toad:''' Come on in Adder! Get your feet wet!
:'''Adder:''' Chance would be a fine thing!
:'''Weasel:''' Got a bit of a problem Adder? I could get you a drink no trouble! How much is it worth eh?
:'''Adder:''' You scratch my back... ''I'll'' scratch yours!
:'''Weasel:''' Fair enough. I've been wanting to do this for ages! ''(She lowers Adder into the pool)''
:'''Adder:''' Ssswindler! Shharper! Sneak!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(Adder is stuck in the swimming pool)''
:'''Adder:''' Psst! Still here Foxy, submerged... but not sunk!
:'''Fox:''' Oh shut up!
&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(Fox has brought garden cane to help Adder escape from the pool)''
:'''Adder:''' What am I supposssed to do with thisss? Eat it?
:'''Fox:''' Hang onto it you silly slithering...
:'''Adder:''' Say you're sorry!
:'''Fox:''' Alright! If you insist!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mole:''' ''(About riding on Badger)'' I feel so guilty riding along like this, while everyone else is so tired and I'm not helping at all.
:'''Badger:''' You're more help where you are than you would be on the ground Moley.
:'''Mole:''' I could keep up, now that you've all slowed down!
:'''Adder:''' I'd swap places with Mole any time.
:'''Weasel:''' What would you hold on with? Your teeth?
:'''Adder:''' I'd be pleased to steal a ride on you... Weasel!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(While crossing a road)''
:'''Adder:''' Thisss is going to ruin my scalesss!

=== Through Fire And Through Water [1.3] ===
:''[Upon hearing humans testing military weapons]''
:'''Mr. Pheasant''': I say! It's a pheasant shoot!
:'''Mrs. Pheasant''': For once, I have to admit you're right, dear.
:'''Mr. Pheasant''': &quot;For once&quot;?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(The animals have been sleeping on army land and are woken by gunfire)''
:'''Mrs. Hedgehog:''' Do stop snoring dear.
:'''Mr. Hedgehog:''' Me? I don't snore.
:'''Mrs. Hedgehog:''' That's what you always say, but I think your snores are positively earth shattering.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Owl:''' When perched between two evils, the best solution is to stay still.
:'''Adder:''' Easssier said than done.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kestrel:''' One of the soldiers has raised his gun. He's sticking a knife on the end of it.
:'''Mr Pheasant:''' I say! That's none too sporting!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(Upon witnessing the soldiers run away because Weasel accidentally breaks open a bees' nest)
:'''Mr Pheasant:''' Imagine. Afraid of a sack!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Weasel:''' What Adder needs is a sting in the tail!
:'''Adder:''' ''I'll'' give ''you'' a sting in the tail!
:'''Weasel:''' AAAGH! ''(Runs off)''

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Owl:''' One day Mole, you'll be so fat you'll get stuck in one of your own tunnels!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(Mr Pheasant's tailfeathers have been destroyed by an army shell)''
:'''Mr Pheasant:''' I'll never be able to turn my back on anyone again!
:'''Mrs Pheasant:''' That'll be a nice change.
:'''Fox:''' Is that all you're worried about?!
:'''Mr Pheasant:''' When you've been shot at as much as I have, Fox, you realise there is nothing more important than one's personal dignity!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Badger''': Well, at least we're all back together now.
:'''Mole''': ''[tearful]'' But we're ''not''. Where are the Newts?
:'''Badger''': ''[Comforting]'' Don't ask. There's a good chap.

=== False Haven [1.4] ===
''(It is pouring with rain)''
:'''Toad:''' Where's Owl?
:'''Badger:''' If she's got any sense at all she'll be tucked up nice and snug underground.
:'''Toad:''' OWL?
:'''Badger:''' Well, under a bush then. Whatever!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mrs. Pheasant takes one of Owl's shedded feathers and puts it in her sleeping husband's tail]''
:'''Mr. Pheasant''': ''[Wakes up]'' DAAAAAH!!!
:'''Mrs. Pheasant''': There. That's better now.
:'''Mr. Pheasant''': What ''have'' you done?!
:'''Mrs. Pheasant''': I've just added a stray feather to your tail, dear, to hide the burnt bits. Oooh, it do look lovely!
:'''Mr. Pheasant''': ''[Suspicious]'' What ''kind'' of feather?
:'''Mrs. Pheasant''': Well, I think it's one of Owl's actually--
:'''Mr. Pheasant''': THAT DOWDY FEMALE?!
:'''Owl''': Beggars can't be choosers, Pheasant.
:'''Kestrel''': You should be grateful!
:'''Mr. Pheasant''': ''Grateful''?! What?! ''[To his wife, Mrs. Pheasant]'' To have ''her'' feathers in ''my'' beautiful tail?! Stupid bird! Take it out at once!
:''(Mrs. Pheasant sighs and does so)''
:'''Mr. Pheasant''': As if ''any'' other creature had feathers anywhere near as handsome as ''mine''!
:'''Mrs. Pheasant''': [Sadly] I was only doing my best.
:'''Fox''': Peace... Perfect peace.
:'''Kestrel''': ''[To the Pheasants]'' Stop squabbling! Can't you see Fox is tired?

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''[Mrs. Pheasant has just been shot]''
:'''Owl''': I'm afraid you wife's going to be the farmer's dinner, Pheasant. 
:'''Mr. Pheasant''': [Cries] Where? Where is she?
:'''Mrs. Hare''': Poor Pheasant, no wonder you were so scared all the time.
:'''Weasel''': Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you! Ahahaha!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tom Griggs:''' ''[To his dog Bruno]'' Right, Bruno, now's your chance to save your skin. Guard that door. And guard it well. Because if that fox escapes, you'll be as dead as this bird. ''[He holds up a dead Mrs Pheasant]''
:'''Mr Pheasant:''' ''[Wails]'' My wife!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bruno:''' If I could get my teeth into you...
:'''Adder:''' Watccch it! My bite'sss worse than my bark.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bruno:''' My master wants you dead.
:'''Fox:''' So? He wants every fox dead.
:'''Bruno:''' You killed his chickens!
:'''Fox:''' Oh, no I didn't.
:'''Bruno:''' Liar!
:'''Fox:''' I'm not the only fox around.
:'''Bruno:''' ''You're'' here.
:'''Fox:''' Ah, I see. Any fox will do. Is that it? Your master must be very stupid.
:'''Bruno:''' How dare you!
:'''Fox:''' To kill one fox because another hurt him. That's the same as kicking you because his wife's burnt his dinner!
:'''Bruno:''' ''[Realising]'' Uh... he ''does'', too!
:'''Fox:''' Does that make any sense to you?
:'''Bruno:''' Er, no. But you still haven't told me why you were lurking round the chicken coop!
:'''Fox:''' Not for the taste of chicken. I don't even like them. Too many feathers. Achoo!
:'''Bruno:''' You're a right one aren't you, joking at a time like this! Alright, if it wasn't for the chickens, what was it for?
:'''Fox:''' Didn't you see the others?
:'''Bruno:''' What others?
:'''Fox:''' My friends. Not foxes. But rabbits. Mice. Hedgehogs. Toads, birds, all kinds!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bruno:''' You're true to your name, I must say, very cunning. But you can't fool me, oh no. I'm taking you back. I'll get a nice fat reward when my master sees you're dead.
:'''Fox:''' Oh, no you won't.
:'''Bruno:''' Oh, yes I will!
:'''Fox:''' You won't. He doesn't want ''you'' to kill his fox. He wants to do it for himself. All you'll do is rob him of the satisfaction.
:'''Bruno:''' ''[Snarls]'' All right, suits me! I'll take you back alive!
:'''Fox:''' Sorry. Can't oblige, old son. If you want me, you'll have to ''kill me first''.
:'''Bruno:''' Oh, I don't know. First my master blames me for not catching his fox, then when I've caught him he still blames me.
:'''Fox:''' That's about it.
:'''Bruno:''' You've got me tied in knots, you clever dink!
:'''Fox:''' You should have caught the right fox. That's all there is to it.
:'''Bruno:''' Wild animals, heh. They'll be telling me to catch and make friends with a mouse next!
:''(Fox runs away, while Bruno is distracted)''

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr Pheasant:''' ''[Sobs]'' My poor wife...
:'''Mrs Hare:''' Yes... ''[To Mr Hare]'' we must be nice to him, dear. Do try. 
:'''Mr Pheasant:''' It's only now she's gone, I realise how much she did for me. [Sobbing] Who's going to dig for my grubs now?
:'''Mr Hare:''' Oh! I draw the line at that!

=== Snare For The Unwary [1.5] ===
:''[Mr Pheasant volunteers to go back for Adder, But can't fly very well and he keeps falling]''
:'''Fox:''' Oh dear... I forgotten pheasants are not very good at flying! We'll be here till Christmas at this rate!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr Pheasant:''' Psst... Adder. Psst! Adder! UGHHH!
:''(He witnesses what's left of his cooked wife cooling on the windowsill, and he starts crying really hard, And he is bursting into tears. Then Bruno hears Pheasant crying)''
:'''Tom Griggs:''' Huh?
:'''Adder:''' Psssst! PHEASSSANT! GET OUT OF SSSIGHT!
:'''Mr Pheasant:''' I can't see anything! Where ''are'' you, Adder?
:'''Adder:''' Never mind you seeing me! Don't let the farmer see you! Whoops! ''(She hides)''
:'''Mr Pheasant:''' ... Farmer? 
:''(Moments later, he is shot off-screen and killed by Tom Griggs. Then the animals hear a gunshot and the scared rooks caw, flying)''
:'''Badger:''' Oh... NO!
:'''Mrs Hare:''' If that's Pheasant, I'll ''never'' forgive myself.
:'''Owl:''' Need another volunteer, Fox?
:'''Fox:''' Owl, I'd be grateful if you were a little less critical and a little more helpful.
:'''Owl:''' You want me to help?
:'''Fox:''' You could offer to go back for Adder.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Owl:''' Where are you?
:'''Adder:''' At last! What kept you?
:'''Owl:''' Where's Pheasant?
:'''Adder:''' Roasting for supper. Speaking of which, Can I offer you some juicy rat?
:'''Owl:''' Hmm, don't mind if I do.
:'' (Adder grins and swoops down and Owl flies, a dead rat lies on the floor)
:'''Owl:''' Fancy Fox allowing Pheasant to come back for you! Why, he couldn't even fly properly!
:'''Adder:''' I sssuppose there were lotsss of volunteers?
:'''Owl:''' Well, one or two. Well, one anyway.
:'''Adder:''' You would've known better than to ask.
:'''Owl:''' Fox couldn't lead a pack of hounds.
:'''Adder:''' Even if they were on his scent!
''(They laugh)''

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Owl:''' ''(About the animals)'' Where would they be without me?
:'''Adder:''' They're without you ''now''.
:'''Owl:''' Hmmm.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fox''': What happened to Pheasant?
:'''Owl''': You need me to tell you?
:'''Mrs. Hare''': I knew it! Poor Pheasant! And I was ''so'' unkind to him...
:'''Mr. Hare''': ''Now'' he's got something to cry about.
:'''Mrs. Hare''': That's just it - he'll never cry anymore! ''[Sobbing]''
:'''Mr. Hare''': Don't ''you'' start!
:'''Fox''': I should never have let him go.
:'''Owl''': ''[Critical]'' True.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Owl:''' A moment's thought can save a lifetime's misery.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Adder:''' ''(Toad is cheering the animals on as they cross the river)'' That toad's sssickening enthusiasm is beginning to get on my nerves.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(The rabbits are floundering in the middle of the river unable to swim)''
:'''Fox''' Rabbits! What are you doing?!?
:'''Mr Rabbit:''' We're PANICKING!
''(Weasel crosses the river)''
:'''Badger:''' I can't see what's happening.
:'''Weasel:''' The Rabbits are panicking and swimming round in circles in the middle of the river!
:'''Badger:''' Grrr. Those rabbits. Even with one your problems are multiplied. (calling out to Fox) Fox, do you need any help?
''(A Baby Rabbit is still floundering in the river unable to swim)''
:'''Baby Rabbit:''' Help...No! Save me!
''(She falls in the water, but ends up on Fox's head, who surfaces)''
:'''Fox:''' Stop going round in circles. Swim straight in front of you!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(A massive piece of drift wood heads towards Fox and the Rabbits.)''
:'''Mole:''' Badger, that massive debris! It's going to hit Fox and the Rabbits, and it will kill them!
:'''Badger:''' (After noticing) Oh no! Quickly, my friends. They're in danger. We must save them.
''(Badger, Toad, Mole and Mrs Fieldmouse dive into the river.)''
:'''Badger:''' Each of you must rescue a rabbit. I'll take care of Fox.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mrs Rabbit:''' (Panics) Help!
:'''Toad:''' Oh, shut up, Rabbit. Swim that way.
:'''Mrs Rabbit:''' (Shaking her head) Which way?
:'''Toad:''' That way.
''(Toad pushes Mrs Rabbit in the direction he was pointing)''
:'''Mrs Rabbit:''' Oh! That way!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(Fox and Badger have been swept over a waterfall by a floating mass of debris)''
:'''Owl:''' I'm afraid we'll have to accept that Badger and Fox are dead.
:'''Toad:''' Ah...wait! Look!

=== Who Shall Wear The Crown? [1.6.] ===
:'''Owl:''' Badger as leader? Huh!
:'''Adder:''' Too ssslow and ssstupid.
:'''Owl:''' A bird would be more suitable.
:'''Adder:''' You mean... Kestrel?
:'''Owl:''' Kestrel? Oh no no. She hasn't the common touch.
:'''Adder:''' Whereas you have(!)
:'''Owl:''' What are you getting at Adder?
:'''Adder:''' Jussst raising you Owl.
:'''Owl:''' Well yes... you're right, of course.
:'''Adder:''' All the animals trussst you.
:'''Owl:''' True.
:'''Adder:''' And you're wise enough to know when sssomeone's winding you up!
:'''Owl:''' What? Are you saying...
:'''Adder:''' I'm jussst saying how wise you are!

=== New Friends, Old Enemies [1.7] ===
''(Fox is hunting mice for Tom the cat at a supermarket back lot)''
:'''Tom:''' Three... six... ten?
:'''Fox:''' No... fourteen!
:'''Tom:''' ''(surprised)'' Good lord that's enough!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr Vole:''' If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times. We smaller animals deserve our rights!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Horse:''' Bit ironic really. Been hunting foxes all my life and here I am now chinwagging with you?
:'''Fox:''' Hunting?
:'''Horse:''' Yah. A lot of that around here. Oh dear, sore point eh? Didn't mean to upset you.
:'''Fox:''' Isn't your fault.
:'''Horse:''' True, only obeying orders. Humans are a funny lot. Cruel one minute, kind the next. Take them as they come I suppose.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Vixen:''' No, please don't get up. You poor thing. You look exhausted.
:'''Fox:''' I'm sorry, is this your earth?
:'''Vixen:''' Yes, but you're welcome to use it. I do have several others. Actually, I was just going to hunt. Are you hungry?
:'''Fox:''' Starving! I haven't eaten since yesterday!
:'''Vixen:''' Then your wits will be sharp. Care to join me?
:'''Fox:''' Things ''are'' looking up.

=== Friends In Need [1.8] ===
:'''Vixen:''' Foxes hunt but we're also hunted.
:'''Fox:''' Has it happened to you?
:'''Vixen:''' No. But I have often heard the horn blow. I suppose it will be my turn one day.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fox:''' The Owl Reminded of Someone.
:'''Vixen:''' Owl, Have you Seen Foxes Friends?
:'''Big Owl:''' Not many Foxes in the Wood these Days.
:'''Vixen:''' No not Foxes, a Party of all kinds travelling together. A Toad, a Kestrel, a Mole, Rabbits, Mice, an Owl.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt; 
:'''Fox:''' You will come back won't you? I couldn't bear to lose you! Not now!
:'''Vixen:''' You may not have to.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Vixen:''' Do you have a mate?
:'''Thrush:''' Yes. And a family too.
:'''Vixen:''' Do you miss your freedom?
:'''Thrush:''' Haven't the time. Much too busy.
:'''Vixen:''' I see. I used to like walking alone in the morning dew.
:'''Thrush:''' And now?
:'''Vixen:''' And now I don't know what to do.
:'''Thrush:''' Is he brave and true?
:'''Vixen:''' Probably!
:'''Thrush:''' If you don't try, you'll never know.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(The hunt has picked up Vixen's scent)''
:'''Butcher Bird:''' ''(jeering)'' RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr Hare:''' Badger... we should run!
:'''Badger:''' No. Remember the oath. We must all stand together and fight!
:'''Weasel:''' But we'll be torn to pieces!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mole:''' What's happening? I can't see!
:'''Badger:''' It's probably better that you don't Moley.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kestrel:''' ''(about the hounds)'' We could try heading them off.
:'''Owl:''' In certain circumstances attack is the only form of defence.
:'''Weasel:''' Get on with it then!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fox:''' ''(realising the hounds are now going after Vixen)'' I've failed her!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(Adder receives praise from the other animals for saving Vixen)''
:'''Adder:''' I'll never live thisss down.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Vixen:''' I know what you did... heading them off.
:'''Fox:''' I couldn't bear to think of you... and those hounds.
:'''Vixen:''' You risked your life for me.
:'''Fox:''' Were you... were you on your way back to me?
:'''Vixen:''' Yes.
:'''Fox:''' Does that mean...
:'''Vixen:''' I would be honoured to be your mate.
:'''Fox:''' Oh... I'm so happy!
:'''Badger:''' Welcome my dear. You're one of us now.
:'''All the Animals:''' Hooray for Fox.

=== Whistler's Quarry [1.9] ===
''(Mole is crying with happiness)''
:'''Badger:''' Oh Moley! If only your tears weren't salty, none of us would ever be thirsty again!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Owl:''' If love is blind as they say it is, it's a fine state for our leader to get himself into.
:'''Adder:''' ''You'' helped save him.
:'''Owl:''' ''You'' helped save his mate.
:'''Adder:''' ''I'' was sssaving myself.
:'''Owl:''' Says who?

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(A chain link fence is blocking their way to the quarry)''
:'''Toad:''' It's alright Badger, we can all hop through! Oh... see what you mean, I'd forgotten how big you all were.
:'''Adder:''' That toad is ssso astute.
:'''Mole:''' Would it help if I tunneled underneath?
:'''Badger:''' Moley, what would we do without you?
:'''Adder:''' Die of thirst, I should think(!)

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(Whistler is seen for the first time, flying overhead. His wings are making a whistling sound while he is flying)''
:'''Kestrel:''' A fine display of flying technique, don't you think Owl?
:'''Owl:''' Needs oiling if you ask me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(A carp is attempting to eat Toad)''
:'''Vixen:''' Whistler! Can you do anything to help?
:'''Whistler:''' My pleasure. I've been after that carp for years!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Whistler:''' Are there any herons at White Deer Park?
:'''Toad:''' Now you come to mention it I did see one or two.
:'''Whistler:''' Ah... ''female'' herons?
:'''Toad:''' Now there you've got me matey! Can't tell the difference,  see!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(The animals have walked into a pheasant shoot. Whistler's wing makes a noise when he lands)''
:'''Kestrel:''' Be quiet! You don't want a matching hole in your other wing do you?
:'''Whistler:''' That would be unfortunate.
:'''Owl:''' But deserved.
:'''Whistler:''' What did you say?
:'''Kestrel:''' Ssh! I don't want to be taken for a pheasant!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(One of the baby rabbits has run out into the field and gets shot)
:'''Badger:''' To think Owl saved him from the snare for this.
:'''Fox:''' He may not have died in vain Badger.

=== Between Two Evils [1.10] ===
:'''Owl:''' If you're so slow, how slow is a slow-worm?
:'''Adder:''' They're just lizards without legsss!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(Kestrel has informed the animals of a motorway up ahead)''
:'''Owl:''' When there is no way forward, the only way is back.
''(A hunting horn is heard in the distance back from where they came)''
:'''Fox:''' The hunt! We can't go back!
:'''Weasel:''' ''(jeering)'' We could!
:'''Mrs Hare:''' Yes we could. You're just being selfish.
:'''Badger:''' HOW DARE YOU! After all Fox has done for us! Why he could have stayed with Vixen and left us to our fate but he came back didn't he? And why? Because we animals ''stick together''.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Owl:''' Sometimes fear of one evil overcomes the fear of another.
:'''Weasel:''' In other words, let's scarper!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(The animals are faced with a motorway)''
:'''Mrs Shrew:''' See? They only think of themselves. How are ''we'' supposed to cross a road like that!
:'''Mr Vole:''' We can't trust the larger animals.
:'''Mr Hare:''' The only time you smaller animals have ever got into trouble is when you've left the group!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fox:''' One step at a time.
:'''Mrs Fieldmouse:''' Some of us have bigger steps than others.
:'''Adder:''' And sssome of us have no sssteps at all!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(The humans in one of the cars on the congested side of the motorway spot the animals)''
:'''Man:''' Take that! ''(Throws can out of the car)''
:'''Fox:''' Don't run into the road! Weasel, don't!
:'''Weasel:''' ''(Throws the can back through their window)'' Take THAT!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mrs Hedgehog:''' Come on, dear!
:'''Mr Hedgehog:''' I... I... I can't!
:'''Mrs Hedgehog:''' Please...
:'''Mr Hedgehog:''' Don't...curl up...
:'''Mrs Hedgehog:''' Please!
:'''Mr Hedgehog:''' Whatever you do...dearest...don't...curl up!
:'''Mrs Hedgehog:''' Oh no! ( Both Mr. and Mrs. Hedgehog curled up into a ball, And they got ran over by a lorry, crushing them to death)

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Vixen:''' ''(about the hedgehogs)'' ...She wouldn't leave him.
:'''Mr Hare:''' What happened?
:'''Mrs Hare:''' Why didn't they run?
:'''Toad:''' Instincts got the better of them. And instincts can be very strong, matey. I should know.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Owl:''' Everyone else either has been carried or has run over the road.
:'''Adder:''' Or, has ''been'' run over! I've got eyes to see!
:'''Owl:''' Those cowering hedgehogs just curled up and died.
:'''Adder:''' Well, ''I've'' no desire to commit suicide.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(Adder is refusing to let Owl carry her across the motorway)''
:'''Owl:''' Reflect Adder on the ancient wisdom expressed in the phrase 'Better to lose one's dignity than to lose one's life'.
:'''Adder:''' I won't lose either if I stay here, which is exactly what I'm going to do, you pompous bundle of feathers! Because no one can force me to do anything I don't wisssh to!
''(Whistler snatches Adder and flies her across much to the amusement of the other animals)''

=== A Deathly Calm [1.11] ===
:'''Mrs Rabbit:''' And we're alright. The vegetables are beautiful. I've never seen a nicer young cabbage.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr Rabbit:''' If something's wrong just don't tell me!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Owl:''' You are standing on poisoned land. It's in the ground we walk on, the air we breathe, and the plants which seem so luscious are probably ''deadly''!
:'''Weasel:''' AAAGH!
:'''Mr Rabbit:''' But.. but how?
:'''Owl:''' It was done deliberately.
:'''Fox:''' The farmer! I knew I recognised that smell.
:'''Owl:''' He keeps the poison hidden from his own kind. There are some things even humans don't approve of.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr Hare:''' ''(about the humans growing cabbages with pesticides on them)'' But what will they do with the cabbages?
:'''Owl:''' Eat them!
:'''Toad:''' Won't they die too?
:'''Owl:''' Who knows? Perhaps very slowly.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Owl:''' Humans have a saying; One man's meat is another man's poison. Goodness knows what they've done to these apples!
:'''Fox:''' Let's hope for their sakes they've got strong stomachs.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr Vole:''' Owl thinks all the animals and plants are poisoned.
:'''Adder:''' Except you of course!
:'''Fox:''' Adder!
:'''Adder:''' Jussst teasing.
:'''Owl:''' Hunger's stronger than any oath.
:'''Toad:''' Owl's right. Instinct will out. I should know.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(The animals are waiting for the birds and the foxes to come back with food from the town)''
:'''Adder:''' If Whistler doesn't get back soon, I'll eat... ''(eying mole)''
:'''Mole:''' The Oath!
:'''Adder:''' I'd eat ''that'' if it was on four legs, or even two!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''(Whistler gets the food for animals and landed at Adder)
:'''Adder:''' You do that deliberately!
: '''Whistler:''' Not at all, and look I brought you food.
:'''Adder:''' I forgive you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Owl:''' The darkest hour is just before the dawn. Well, it ''is''!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fox:''' You'll do as I tell you, or else.
:'''Weasel:''' Or else ''what''?
:'''Fox:''' Or else I'll ''bite your head off''.

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mrs Hare:''' ''(about Mr Rabbit)'' He does look dreadful.
:'''Mr Hare:''' He ''always'' looks dreadful!

=== Pandemonium [1.12] ===
:'''Weasel:''' Step on a crack, break your father's back! Step on a line, you're doing fine!
''(Weasel deliberately treads on Adder)''
:'''Weasel:''' Sorry! Thought you were a crack in the pavement!
:'''Adder:''' Then you ssshouldn't have stepped on me. You'll get bad luck!
:'''Weasel:''' Not me! I'm the luckiest weasel in the whole wide world! The luckiest weasel...
''(a lightning bolt nearly strikes Weasel)''
:'''Weasel:''' AAAGH!
:'''Adder:''' Sssee? What did I tell you?

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr Rabbit:''' Mole! It's all your fault!
:'''Toad:''' Well, at least it isn't mine for a change, eh mateys?

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(Owl is recovering after being temporarily deafened by a church bell)''
:'''Mrs Vole:''' I know just how you feel.
:'''Owl:''' What?
:'''Mrs Vole:''' It's not easy being deaf.
:'''Owl:''' What are you talking about?
:'''Mrs Vole:''' What?
:'''Owl:''' I said, what did you say?
:'''Mrs Vole:''' That's what I said!
:'''Owl:''' Deaf old codger!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(Adder briefly wears the bride's veil by accident, much to the displeasure of the wedding guests)''
:'''Adder:''' I don't sssee what all the fusss is about!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fox:''' ''(realising that the animals have got separated after escaping from the church)'' We've lost them!

=== So Near And Yet So Far [1.13] ===
''(Weasel has drunk some wine from a keg)''
:'''Weasel:''' Ooh! Nice!
:'''Badger:''' Yeeuch! Disgusting!
:'''Weasel:''' ''(slurs)'' No! Nice! I'm nice too Badger, when you get to know me! *hic* Which you will, now that we're holed up together!
:'''Badger:''' Stop it!
:'''Weasel:''' ''(slurs)'' I'm still thirsty! You know Badger, humans can be nice too! In fact, I could get to quite like them!
:'''Badger:''' Weasel... are you feeling alright?
:'''Weasel:''' ''(slurs)'' Never better old chap! ''(falls over)''

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
''(Weasel and Badger escape from the wine cellar when the landlord receives a delivery)''
:'''Weasel:''' ''(slurs)'' Here we go, here we go, here we go!
:'''Landlord:''' What on earth?
:'''Delivery Man:''' Here! You got a licence for that one Brian?

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Badger:''' What are we going to do about Weasel?
:'''Owl:''' Leave her! I would.
:'''Weasel:''' ''(slurs)'' Can't go without Weasel! You know Badger, you've been like a father to me, you have! I've always looked onto you with the highest... ''hic!''

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr Vole:''' I don't know Mother. Now we are nearly there I feel almost sad.
:'''Mrs Vole:''' Sad? Huh! I'm looking forward to being a vole again, I don't know about you! But I know what you mean son. And take comfort in your dreams will never be the dreams of an ordinary vole, never again. Your dreams will be different till the day you die, and so will mine, for I am proud to be a Farthing Wood traveller. And as for that Oath we made, we will keep it amongst ourselves and our children, and our children's children, so that the spirit of the journey will be kept alive forever.
:'''Fox:''' Well said!

&lt;hr width=&quot;75%&quot;/&gt;
:'''White Stag:''' ''(To Toad)'' To have made this journey once is remarkable. To have done it twice is extraordinary. News of your coming reached us long ago.
:'''Badger:''' We are so glad to be here. And it's all thanks to Fox. We'd never have done it without him.
:'''Fox:''' I only wish... we could all have made it.
:'''White Stag:''' But those of you who did have made history.
''(The Stag leads the animals to a spot overlooking the park)''
:'''White Stag:''' Welcome to White Deer Park.

==External links==
{{wikipedia|The Animals of Farthing Wood (TV series)}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Animals of Farthing Wood, The}}
[[Category:The Animals of Farthing Wood seasons|1]]
[[Category:Children's television seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>e9mualt2qpjaqbuxtycwnkeugpudygk</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning</title>
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    <id>214201</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158644</id>
      <parentid>3134436</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T18:14:55Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>77.137.68.120</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="37619" xml:space="preserve">'''''[[w:The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning|The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning]]''''' (also known as '''''The Little Mermaid III''''') is a 2008 American animated direct-to-video fantasy film produced by DisneyToon Studios, and a prequel to Disney's 1989 animated film [[The Little Mermaid (1989 film)|The Little Mermaid]]. Directed by Peggy Holmes.

==Dialogue==
:''[Marina Del Ray and Benjamin came in the princesses' room]''
:'''Marina Del Ray''': Uppy-uppy, my darlings.
:'''Benjamin''': It's us. ''[The princess groan]''
:'''Ariel''': ''[Groans]'' Governess! ''[Then Marina takes the pillow from under Aquata]''
:'''Aquata''': Hey!
:'''Marina Del Ray''': Rise and shine.
:'''Aquata''': Why so early?
:'''Marina Del Ray''': Mustn't be late.
:'''Arista''': But it's still dark out.
:'''Aquata''': Uh...
:'''Arista''': ''[Sees now]'' Oh. Hi.
:'''Benjamin''': Wakey-wakey.
:'''Adella''': Oh, I was dreaming about a boy.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': Yes. Come on, girls.
:'''Alana''': But I need my beauty sleep.
:'''Andrina''': Tell me about it.
:'''Alana''': Easy for you. No one cares what you look...
:'''Marina Del Ray''': Move it.
:'''Benjamin''': I think you're lovely.
:'''Andrina''': Can't we meet Father later?
:'''Marina Del Ray''': Unfortanily, I don't get to make those kinds of decisions. ''[laughs]'' Any decisions, really. ''[Sees the girls go back to sleep again and anger]'' '''''GET UP!''''' ''[The girls rushed up and go to the mirrors]'' All right, all right, all right. Move your tails. This is our special time with your father.
:'''Ariel''': Special? It's the same every morning.
:'''Andrina''': Ah, she's got a point.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': That's what your father cares about. Predictability, presentation, punctuality.
:'''Ariel''': That's all Dad cares about.
:'''Andrina''': She's got a point.
:'''Aquata''': You've got your own mirror!
:'''Benjamin''': Two minutes.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': ''STOP PRIMPING!'' ''[They get ready as they talk, as Attina goes to Ariel]''
:'''Attina''': Come on, Ariel.
:'''Ariel''': Why can't he let us do something different? Just once.
:'''Attina''': Give him a break. He's the king, remember? You try running a kingdom.
:'''Ariel''': I wouldn't run it like this.
:'''Attina''': Don't upset him, Ariel.
:'''Ariel''': Just because you're the oldest, Attina, doesn't mean you can boss us around.
:'''Attina''': Yes, it does.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': Benjamin, if we're late again, I'll never get a promotion.
:'''Benjamin''': Marina...
:'''Attina''': Come on, girls.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': Not that I want a promotion. No, no, no, I love this job. Looking after you is what I live for. Really. ''[the girls leave and anger again]'' I ''HATE'' this job!
:'''Benjamin''': The less said the better.

&lt;hr width=&quot;60%&quot;/&gt;
:'''King Triton''': Ariel.
:'''Ariel''': ''[groans]'' Oh! Yes, Daddy?
:'''Arista''': ''[Whispering]'' He sounds grumpier than yesterday.
:'''Andrina''': Time to go. ''[With Triton and Ariel]''
:'''King Triton''': ''[sternly]'' A princess does not tickle another princess with seaweed.
:'''Ariel''': You saw that? ''[beat]'' I was just trying to have some fun.
:'''King Triton''': You disrupted your sisters.
:'''Ariel:''' Well, they laughed
:'''King Triton''': Well, I didn't.
:'''Ariel''': But Daddy, why can't...
:'''King Triton''': ''[interrupts]'' Is it too much to ask that you simply walk with your family?
:'''Ariel''': ''[frustrated]'' That's all we ever do.
:'''King Triton''': ''[threateningly]'' Ariel...
:'''Ariel''': Can't we do something different?
:'''King Triton''': ''ENOUGH!'' ''[Ariel is shocked at her father's behavior]'' You have to learn to respect the way I run this kingdom. ''[holds out a seashell-shaped tool]'' Barnacles.
:'''Ariel''': ''[shocked]'' What? That'll take all day.
:'''King Triton''': ''[hands her the tool]'' Well, then you'd better get started, young lady. ''[Ariel is angry at her father as he swims inside the building]''
:'''Ariel''': I hate this place. ''[She swims off to where she will get all the barnacles off]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;60%&quot;/&gt;
:''[We fade to stacks of meat and are picked up by a stick, which turns out to be Benjamin uses it to feed the locked up creatures]''
:'''Benjamin''': Mm-hmm. Snacky-snack. ''[animals growling]'' OK. ''[moaning as the creatures ate the meat]'' No manners.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': This job is killing me!
:'''Benjamin''': Oh, dear.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': ​​​​If I have to watch over these spoiled princesses one more day, I'm gonna ''BEACH MYSELF!''
:'''Benjamin''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': You should've heard that little clawboy Sebastian today. &quot;You're late.&quot; ''[gibbering]'' IF TRITON WASN'T LOOKING, I WOULD HAVE '''SQUASHED''' THAT CRUSTACEAN INTO A '''''CRAB CAKE!'''''
:'''Benjamin''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': ''[inhaling deeply]'' Maybe I'm just too sensitive?
:'''Benjamin''': Dip.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': Did you feed them today?
:'''Benjamin''': Yes. Twice.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': And the key? ''[He shows her the key around his neck, and he continues to shorten her nails]'' ''OOH!'' That Sebastian! I despise him! I ''LOATHE'' him!
:'''Benjamin''': Never heard that one.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': How did that little invertebrate get to be chief of staff?
:'''Benjamin''': Chutzpah?
:'''Marina Del Ray''': I want that job. ''I'' deserve that ''JOB''! So what if I'm late every once in a while and the girls are miserable?
:'''Benjamin''': Nobody's perfect.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': That's right. Nobody's... perfect. -
:'''Benjamin''': Oh... my.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': Everyone makes mistakes, even... him! ''[singing]'' ''♪ Benjamin, I need to find a clue ♪''
:'''Benjamin''': Or a good cuticle cream.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': ''[singing]'' ''♪ To get myself Sebastian's job. To stage a little coup. A straw to break the camel's back. A teeny dent, a tiny crack. A quiver or a quake. What I need is one mistake ♪'' Ow!
:'''Benjamin''': Oh, so sorry!
:'''Marina Del Ray''': ''[singing]'' ''♪ Just one mistake ♪''
:'''Benjamin''': Now, color? Sardine Silver?
:'''Marina Del Ray''': No, thanks.
:'''Benjamin''': Orange roughy?
:'''Marina Del Ray''': Not in the mood.
:'''Benjamin''': Rainbow trout?
:'''Marina Del Ray''': Just paint them the shade of clarified butter! ''[singing]'' ♪'' Sebastian, Oh, better be on his guard. ♪''
:'''Benjamin''': So much for my samples.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': ''[singing]'' ''♪ Cause I have some electric chums. And they'll be looking very hard. A straw to break Sebastian's back! A teeny dent, a tiny crack! A dowdy double take! What I need is one mistake! ♪''
:'''Benjamin''': Uno error.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': ''[singing]'' ''♪ Just one mistake Then... Hello, world! ♪''
:'''Benjamin''': Oh, my.
:'''Marina Del Ray'': ''[singing]'' ''♪ It's Marina Del Rey! ♪''
:'''Benjamin''': That's right. Three names.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': ''[singing]'' ''♪ I'm the new attach ♪''
:'''Benjamin''': Ooh, French!
:'''Marina Del Ray''': ''[singing]'' ''♪ Or maybe more Oh, I want so much more ♪''
:'''Benjamin: Big surprise.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': ''[singing]'' ''♪ Hello, world! I'm the belle of the ball! ♪''
:'''Benjamin''': I'm feelin' it. Big wave!
:'''Marina Del Ray''': ''[singing]'' ''♪ I'm the greatest of all the loyal royal big shots! ♪'' ''[shouting gleefully, grunts]'' - ''[moans]'' - Mmm... ''♪ Work it, Marina! Pouty, sassy! ♪''
:'''Benjamin''': Pouty. Sassy.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': ''[singing]'' ''♪ From the engine to the chassis! ♪''
:'''Benjamin''': ''[singing]'' ''♪ Oo-wah oo-wah ♪''
:'''Marina Del Ray''': ''[singing]'' ''♪ Got to, got to! ♪''
:'''Benjamin''': ''[singing]'' ''♪ Oo-wah oo-wah ♪''
:'''Marina Del Ray''': ''[singing]'' ''♪ Get it, get it! Gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta HAVE IT! A straw to break the camel's back. A teeny dent, a tiny crack. A mini mighty break. What I need is one mistake. ♪''
:'''Benjamin''': Mmm. 
:'''Marina Del Ray''': after that, who knows? Sebastian's bound to make a mistake, right?
:'''Benjamin''': Not likely.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': Dream killer! ''[she dips her nails into the bowl angrily]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;60%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Flounder''': My name is Flounder.
:'''Ariel''': Oh, I'm Ariel. (Sees something) Oh, no! ''[That was Sebastian as he stopped until her land on Sebastian]''
:'''Sebastian''': Princess Ariel! What is the meaning of this?!
:'''Flounder''': Princess?
:'''Ariel''': Um... We weren't doing anything.
:'''Sebastian''': No? Then why were you trying to get away? ''[both growing]''
:'''Flounder''': Um... 'Cause they were chasing us?
:'''Swordfish Guard''': We heard music, chief.
:'''Sebastian''': ''[shrieks]'' MUSIC! THE PRICEESS WAS MAKING MUSIC?!
:'''Swordfish Guard''': The princess wasn't making music. He was.
:'''Flounder''': ''[whimpers]''
:'''Sebastian''': MUSIC IS AGAINST THE LAW! TAKE HIM TO THE DUNGEON!
:'''Flounder''': I can't make it in the slammer!
:'''Sebastian''': ''NOW!''
:'''Ariel''': Wait! This is all a big misunderstanding. Huge. You are gonna laugh when I explain. Which I'm about to do.
:'''Sebastian''': In this century, please.
:'''Ariel''': Right. You see, I was just cleaning the coral tubes, and my friend here ''[chuckles]'' were helping me.
:'''Flounder''': That's right. Best friends helpin' out. Makin' it happen.
:'''Ariel''': But not making music. ''[He make nervous smile]'' See?
:'''Sebastian''': Guards! Escort the princess back to the palace.
:'''Ariel''': But Sebastian...
:'''Sebastian''': ''[To Flounder]'' And ''YOU!''
:'''Flounder''': ''[whimpers]''
:'''Sebastian''': Consider this your first and only warning, mon ''[The two guard goes on to escort the princess back to the palace]''
:'''Ariel''': Humph! ''[Sebastian sees that Flounder is still here and he give him the angry look that scares and he swims off]''
:'''Sebastian''': Oh! Intolerable, I tell you. That girl is working on my last claw!

&lt;hr width=&quot;60%&quot;/&gt;
:''[In the morning, Sebastian crawls up to King Triton in his throne room]''
:'''Sebastian''': Good morning, Your Highness.
:'''King Triton''': Sebastian. Marina.
:'''Sebastian''': ''[gasps]''
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Good morning, Your Majesty.
:'''King Triton''': I have a problem. ''[Sebastian is shocked]'' It's Ariel.
:'''Sebastian''': Ariel? I...
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Finally! So you see it, too? Oh, yes. She's rebellious, insubordinate, headstrong. We need to immediately implement a series of checks and balances designed to ''CRUSH'' her spirit. What? Too harsh?
:'''Sebastian''': Absolutely! Your Highness, she is young, going through a phase.
:'''King Triton''': I don't remember having this much trouble with any of her sisters.
:'''Marina Del Rey''': I do! They're all a handful. We should shave their heads.
:'''Sebastian''': ''[yelps]''
:'''King Triton''': ''[clears throat]''
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Just kidding.
:'''King Triton''': Alana wasn't difficult at all.
:'''Sebastian''': Yes, Your Majesty. But Arista and the blowfish incident, remember?
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Oh! It took weeks to clean up the palace.
:'''Sebastian''': And how about Aquata and that stingray?
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Oh! I can still feel it.
:'''King Triton''': Well...
:'''Sebastian''': Or the time Attina got her head stuck in the conch shell.
:'''Marina Del Rey''': That was me.
:'''King Triton''': Well, perhaps you're right, Sebastian. Still, it seems Marina could use some help. I want you to look after Ariel.
:'''Marina Del Rey''': ''[shrieks]''
:'''King Triton''': No offense, Marina.
:'''Marina Del Rey''': None taken. ''[They bow down as King Triton leaves]'' Soft shell.
:'''Sebastian''': Tardy girl.
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Stick eye.
:'''Sebastian''': Fish lips.
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Backstabber.
:'''Sebastian''': Fashion disaster.
:'''Marina Del Rey''': '''BOTTOM FEEDER!'''
:'''Sebastian''': '''BABYSITTER!'''
:'''Marina Del Rey''': ''[gasps]''
:'''King Triton''': Dismissed. ''[That got them to stop fighting. Meanwhile, we go to Ariel humming &quot;I Remember&quot; in her sleep, but then she and the gang wake up to see her sister staring at them]''
:'''Ariel''': What? ''[looks at her sisters being suspicious]'' What?
:'''Attina''': Uh... You were humming.
:'''Ariel''': ''[gasps]'' I was?
:'''Arista''': Out loud.
:'''Ariel''': Don't worry. ''[swims to her mirror]'' It was just a dream.
:'''Alana''': I'll tell you what wasn't a dream. We woke up at midnight.
:'''Aquata''': And your bed was still empty.
:'''Ariel''': Really?
:'''Andrina''': Yeah. That is two hours past curfew.
:'''Ariel''': Oh.
:'''Andrina''': Ooh, was it a boy?
:'''Adella''': If it's a boy, I'm gonna die.
:'''Andrina''': Ugh... Drama.
:'''Adella''': I mean, I'm happy for you, Ariel. It's just that I'm two years older than you, and the only one I've come even close to kissing is Stevie.
:'''Andrina''': Ew! Squid-Lips Stevie?
:'''Adella''': It was on a dare.
:'''Andrina''': Whatever.
:'''Attina''': Guys, let's stick to the subject.
:'''Ariel''': Well, it wasn't a boy, OK? We were just helping a friend. Out past the kelp forest.
:'''Aquata''': Ooh! Past the kelp forest. It wasn't a boy. It was a bad boy.
:'''Arista''': ''[gasping]'' Oh, Ariel.
:'''Aquata''': Simmer down there, sister.
:'''Attina''': So you were just helping a friend?
:'''Ariel''': Um... Yep.
:'''Attina''': Then, where'd you get... ''THIS?!''
:'''Ariel's Sisters''': ''[all gasp]''
:'''Attina''': Can you imagine what'd happen if Dad found it?
:'''Ariel''': He's never here.
:'''Attina''': Don't get cute with me. This is serious. Where were you? ''[Andrina looks at her, Alana, Aquata, and Arista both looked at Ariel]''
:'''Ariel''': I was just... listening to music in an underground club.
:'''Attina''': OK, where were you really? ''[Ariel give them the look]''
:'''Sisters''': ''[gasping]'' Listening to music?
:'''Aquata''': No way.
:'''Arista''': What was it like?
:'''Andrina''': Come on. Spill it.
:'''Ariel''': ''[laughs]'' Oh, it was amazing. The energy, the dancing, the music... Just makes you feel like...
:'''Aquata''': Like what?
:'''Ariel''': Like when Mom was here.
:'''Arista''': Ariel, I wanna hear it, too.
:'''Ariel''': You do?
:'''Aquata''': Me, too.
:'''Adella''': OK. Me, too.
:'''Alana''': Me, too! Me, too!
:'''Andrina''': Not without me.
:'''Arista''': Yeah. Everybody does. Please, Ariel. Please?
:'''Ariel''': Well...
:'''Attina''': Oh!
:'''Ariel''': We'll go tonight.
:'''Arista''': I'm so excited!
:'''Aquata''': Music!
:'''Alana''': What should I wear?
:'''Adella''': So you think there'll be boys?
:'''Andrina''': One way to find out.
:'''Attina''': THIS IS NOT ''HAPPENING!'' You go again and I...
:'''Andrina''': Oh, lighten up.
:'''Ariel''': Come on. ''[all]''
:'''Girls''': Mmm?
:'''Attina''': OK. ''[The girls cheer as Marina and Benjamin arrives]''
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Come on, girls. Uppy-up.
:'''Andrina''': Morning.
:'''Benjamin''': They're early.
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Yes. ''[grabs Benjamin]'' But ''WHY?!'' ''[Leave at princesses' room]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;60%&quot;/&gt;
:''[King Triton and his Royal Guards smash his club and anger at Sebastian]''
:'''King Triton''': This is how you watch over my ''DAUGHTER?!''
:'''Sebastian''': Sire, I...
:'''King Triton''': I trusted you.
:'''Sebastian''': Sire. ''[Marina looks at this in pleasure]''
:'''King Triton''': Guards! ''LOCK'' him away.
:'''Ariel''': What? No!
:'''King Triton''': LOCK THEM ALL AWAY!
:'''Sebastian''': But, Your Majesty, please!
:'''Swordfish guard''': Come on. Let's move it. ''[The guards escort the band, pushes Flounder]'' Hey.
:'''Flounder''': I'm with the band.
:'''Swordfish guard''': Sure you are, kid. ''[As they take them away]''
:'''King Triton''': Marina, you will take over Sebastian's duties immediately.
:'''Marina Del Rey''': As you wish.
:'''King Triton''': Attina, take your sisters home.
:'''Attina''': Yes, sir.
:'''Ariel''': Father, you can't do this!
:'''King Triton''': It's already ''DONE!'' ''[Attina and Aquata drags her out, as the princess exit the club, King Triton uses his trident to blasts the rocks and blocking the entrance to the club as the scene fades to the princess in the throne room at the palace.]'' You are all confined to the palace.
:'''Attina''': Yes, Father.
:'''Ariel''': Why don't you just lock us in jail?
:'''King Triton''': Ariel, you are confined to the palace until you understand what you've done.
:'''Ariel''': What did we do? Tell me, Daddy...
:'''Attina''': Ariel, leave it alone.
:'''Ariel''': No. We haven't done anything wrong. All we did was listen to music.
:'''King Triton''': WHICH YOU KNOW IS ''FORBIDDEN!''
:'''Ariel''': But why? Why can't we have music?
:'''King Triton''': This discussion is over.
:'''Ariel''': Just tell me!
:'''King Triton''': I do not have to explain myself to you.
:'''Ariel''': I don't understand. We love music.
:'''King Triton''': '''''I WILL NOT HAVE MUSIC IN MY KINGDOM!!!''''' ''[Hearing this, Ariel is angry and distraught by this]''
:'''Ariel''': I may not remember much about my mother, but I know she wouldn't have wanted this. ''[She leaves the throne room, as the king and her sisters watch her leave. Cut to Ariel entering her and her sisters' room, and sit doing crying]'' ''[sobbing]'' ''[Her sister enter the room as Attina is now 2 feet away from them]'' Attina? ''[Ariel tries to comfort Attina, but...]''
:'''Attina''': You just don't know when to quit. ''[Attina gives her the angry look and swims away from her]''
:'''Ariel''': What? ''[Her sisters did the same]''
:'''Alana''': It's over, Ariel.
:'''Ariel''': But... we were finally happy.
:'''Attina''': Look around, Ariel. No one's happy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;60%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Benjamin, tear out those puny windows. Rip down those narrow walls.
:'''Benjamin''': Oh, no.
:'''Marina Del Rey''': This is just the beginning. I want a balcony so I can wave down to the adoring crowds. But high enough so they can't see disdain on my face. Can you taste it, Benjamin? The sweet taste of power! Filling, yet oddly minty! ''[singing]'' ''♪ Hello, world! It's Marina Del Rey! I'm the new attach! But I want more! [laughing] And I'M NEVER GOING BACK! Did you get that, clawboy? NO, I'M NEVER GOING BACK... ♪''
:'''Delivery fish''': Delivery for Miss Del Rey.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': ''[singing]'' ''♪ Make no mistake! I'm here to stay! ♪''
:'''Benjamin''': Oh... OK.
:'''Marina Del Ray''': ''[singing]'' ''♪ Meet the new Marina Del Rey! ♪'' ''[harmonizing]''
:'''Benjamin''': She does seem happier. Oh!
:'''Delivery fish''': How long has she been in charge?
:'''Benjamin''': We're going on... seven minutes.
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Ah-ha!

&lt;hr width=&quot;60%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Meanwhile, at the dungeon. Ray-Ray throws the ball against the wall, as the heroes are sad being in the dungeon, as Ink Spot panics]''
:'''Ink Spot''': I got to get out of here. I got to get out. The walls, they're closing in. There's no space! No air! ''[grunting]'' I got it! We'll start a riot! Follow my lead. ''ATLANTICA! ATLANTICA!'' Join me, guys. '''''ATLANTICA!'''''
:'''Ray Ray''': Hey, Ink Spot.
:'''Ink Spot''': Yeah? ''[Ray-Ray throws the ball to Ink Spot as he squeezes the ball while breathing]''
:'''Ray Ray''': This ain't living. You know what I'm saying?
:'''Sheldon''': And the acoustics are non-good-ular. Listen. Do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do
:'''Flounder''': Come on, at least we're hanging out. Can I get a &quot;hoo-yah?&quot;
:'''Sebastian''': Come on, guys. This looks a lot worse than it is. I'll just get an audience with the king and I'll fix it.
:'''Shelbow''': Now, no offense, man, but you had ten years to fix it, and this is where we end up?
:'''Ink Spot''': In jail. ''[The band gathered around to discuss the plan]''
:'''Sebastian''': Well, I... ''[And the band are done discussing the plan]''
:'''Ray Ray''': The band has talked it up, see, and we want you to...
:'''Cheeks''': Slip through the bars.
:'''Sheldon''': Use your claws to pick the lock, man.
:'''Ink Spot''': And open that door! ''[They have each other about that being a good plan]''
:'''Flounder''': Liquid! ''[the gang looked at him]'' Just kidding.
:'''Sebastian''': NO! BAD PLAN! If we break out of this jail, there ain't no coming back here, mon! We'll be fugitives! ''[The pause at that, but they agree on being fugitives]''
:'''Flounder''': What's a fugitive? ''[Ariel arrives and heads to their cell]''
:'''Sebastian''': What about Ariel? You just gonna abandon her, leave her to deal wit all dat we tangled her up in? You tink that small, weak, helpless little girl can do anything by herself? ''[Ariel smashes open door]'' Ariel?
:'''Ariel''': Come on Sebastian, let's go.
:'''Shelbow''': I'm with her.
:'''Sebastian''': If we run away from Atlantica, it will break your father's heart.
:'''Ray Ray''': She got to do what she got to do.
:'''Ariel''': I'm sorry. I just can't live here.
:'''Ink Spot''': Yeah, let's go.
:'''Sebastian''': ''[closes the cell door]'' Listen, I will not be responsible for taking you away from your family.
:'''Ariel''': ''[opens the cell door]'' I'm leaving! With or without you.
:'''Cheeks''': All right!
:'''Sebastian''': ''[closes the cell door again, but this time he is out of the cell]'' ''NOBODY'S LEAVING!'' ''[gasps]''
:'''Shelbow''': Except you.
:'''Ray Ray''': Mmm-hmm.
:'''Ariel''': Look, Sebastian, without music, this place just isn't home.
:'''Shelbow''': You know she ain't lying.
:'''Ray Ray''': Ain't no comeback to that!
:'''Ink Spot''': You got that right.
:'''Sebastian''': ''[Tries to think]'' Ha! Oh, no, no, no. ''[gasps, grumbles]'' Never mind. ''[screams]''
:'''Ariel''': Are you OK?
:'''Sebastian''': Ariel, you're right! Without music, this place just isn't home. I know just where to go!
:'''Band''': ''FREEDOM!'' ''[They go through the cell door ramming Sebastian against the wall]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;60%&quot;/&gt;
:''[At the palace, King Triton is standing from his window, as Marina arrives]''
:'''Marina Del Ray''': And thanks to my bold new initiatives, second only to my fabulous day wear and dressy evening separates, productivity in all sectors is up 20 percent. ''[The king ignores her as he swims away]'' Squids are producing more ink, kelp more oxygen, and the coral reef is just churning out the plankton. Chuga, chuga! ''[laughs]'' I do so enjoy fresh plankton on my salad, don't you? ''[He didn't answer]'' I'll take that as a yes. Ohh. As you can see, I - ''[raises chair to Triton's level]'' I'm a self starter, Your Majesty. Here to anticipate your every need! Not like that last guy, what was his name? Sooner we forget about him, the better. In fact! Let's make a vow, never to mention his name again. Here, I'll start! ''[claps hands over mouth]'' There! Wasn't that easy? ''[Benjamin appears]''
:'''Benjamin''': Marina.
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Busy!
:'''King Triton''': I think I was too hard on them.
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Huh?
:'''Benjamin''': It's about Ariel.
:'''Marina Del Rey''': NOT NOW!
:'''King Triton''': Perhaps I went too far.
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Nonsense, Your Highness. Not possible. ''[Her seat went down to Benjamin]''
:'''Benjamin''': Marina.
:'''Marina Del Rey''': ''WHAT?!''
:'''Attina''': ''[Off Screen]'' DADDY!
:'''Benjamin''': Huh? ''[Attina arrives with the flower Ariel left behind]''
:'''Attina''': Ariel's missing.
:'''King Triton''': What?
:'''Marina Del Rey''': ''[grabs Benjamin]''  Why didn't you tell me?!
:'''Benjamin''': I just... did.
:'''Attina''': We can't find her! We've looked everywhere!
:'''King Triton''': Don't worry. I'll find her. Get me Sebastian!
:'''Marina Del Rey''': What, what! No, no, no! No, I'm in charge here! [swims to Triton, but stops when he gives him the look] Well...
:'''Benjamin''': Sebastian's gone, too.
:'''King Triton''': Guards! Search the palace. Search every inch of Atlantica! Find my daughter! ''[Leaves as the guards gone off to find Ariel]'' 
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Your Majesty. Whoo-hoo! Your Majesty, Your Majesty. ''[growls]'' ''[She turns to look at the flower as she goes to pick it up and squeezes it in anger.]'' Sebastian.

&lt;hr width=&quot;60%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Flounder''': Are we there yet?
:'''Sebastian''': No.
:'''Flounder''': Are we there yet?
:'''Sabastian''': No.
:'''Flounder''': Are we there yet? 
:'''Sabastion''': No.
:'''Flounder''': Are we there yet?
:'''Sabastion''': No. 
:'''Flounder''': Are we there yet?
:'''Sabastion''': Yes. This is it.
:'''flounder''': Are you sure? 
:'''Sabastion''': Yes.
:'''Ray Ray''': Are you sure?
:'''Sabastion''': Yes.
:'''Ariel''': Are you s-?
:'''Sabastion''': '''''YES!'''''
:'''Ink Spot''': Oh, man. We can't live here!
:'''Shelbow''': Yeah, this place is all &quot;Oom-pa-pa.&quot; We need some... ''[drumbeats]''
:'''Sebastian''': Nonsense. It's perfect. Just listen to them acoustics: ''[singing]'' ''♪ Do, re, me, fa, so, la, ti, do ♪ [It echoes three times]'' Solid.
:'''Ray Ray''': Well, it beats the dungeon.
:'''Cheeks''': But not by much.
:'''Shelbow''': It'll do for the time being. Excuse me.
:''[He goes inside his shell and, Ink Spot goes on a boulder and sleeps upside down, and Ray-Ray buries himself in the sand]''
:'''Ray-Ray''': Ooh... ''[Flounder tries to do the same thing that Ray Ray but fail and spits out the sand]''
:'''Flounder''': ''[sputtering]''
:'''Ariel''': Sebastian, be honest. Are we lost?
:'''Sebastian''': No, this is fine. There's more to this place than meets the eye. ''[The gang went to sleep until...]''
:'''Flounder''': ''[scatting]''
:'''Everyone''': ''KNOCK IT OFF!''
:'''Flounder''': Sorry.

&lt;hr width=&quot;60%&quot;/&gt;
:''[At the palace]''
:'''Marina Del Rey''': ''[Off Screen]'' Give me the key!
:'''Benjamin''': I said no.
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Look, I haven't worked my tail off for the last 12 hours just to have it snatched away.
:'''Benjamin''': How about a nice relaxing bath?
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Benjamin.
:'''Benjamin''': Kelp wrap?
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Benjamin!
:'''Benjamin''': Lomi lomi rub?
:'''Marina Del Rey''': '''''GIVE ME THE KEY!'''''
:'''Benjamin''': You said never give it to you in a fit of rage!
:'''Marina Del Rey''': '''I'M PERFECTLY CALM!'''
:'''Benjamin''': Doesn't sound it.
:'''Marina Del Rey''': GIVE! ''[Benjamin ducks from her swipe]'' GIVE! 
:'''Benjamin''': Mm-mmm.
:'''Marina Del Rey''': ''GIVE!'' 
:'''Benjamin''': Mm-mmm!
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Oh, look at the pretty fishies.
:'''Benjamin''': Really? Where? ''[She snatches the key from the distracted Benjamin]''
:'''Marina Del Rey''': ''[laughs]'' Ooh, yum-yums! Come to Mommy. ''[The eel came out of the hole and swim around their master and speaking in baby talk]'' Oh, yes. Mommy wuvs you.
:'''Benjamin''': OK, I'm not gonna watch this part. ''[shuddering]''
:'''Marina Del Rey''': My, my, are you hungry? Ooh... Who wants crab cakes?
:'''Benjamin''': What are you going to do?
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Whatever it takes to get rid of Sebastian!
:'''Benjamin''': But what about Ariel?
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Ariel? ''ARIEL?!'' You're ''RIGHT'', She'll ''TATTLE!'' I'll have to get rid of her, too.
:'''Benjamin''': What?
:'''Marina Del Rey''': That's brilliant, Benjamin, ''BRILLIANT!''
:'''Benjamin''': OK, that wasn't what I meant.
:'''Marina Del Rey''': I never liked her anyway. I'll make it look like an accident. That's it! An accidental underwater ambush by a team of the cutest wittle yum-yums ever.
:'''Benjamin''': You've lost your mind.
:'''Marina Del Rey''': ''SIC 'EM, BOYS!''
:'''Benjamin''': Ooh, what hath we wrought?
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Oh, swim, you pretties. Swim, you pretties. ''FASTER!'' Swim. ''[Her eels swim out the window]'' '''''WAIT UP!''''' ''[The eels kept on going]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;60%&quot;/&gt;
:''[In the morning, Then Ariel wakes up as well and hears something and see something flashing in the distance, Sebastian snoring]''
:'''Ariel''': Sebastian.
:'''Sebastian''': Five more minutes, Mommy.
:'''Ariel''': Sebastian, did you hear that?
:'''Sebastian''': Leave me alone. Sleeping.
:'''Ariel''': But there's something out there. Come on, help us find it.
:'''Sebastian''': I'm tired. You go check it out.
:''[Ariel swim  out to follow the sound, Sebastian watches her leave as Ariel swim to follow the sound, and she stopped near the kelp forest, She swim through the kelp forest, and she's amazed of what she seeing, A shiny cave is what she's entered, as she look through the walls]''
:'''Ariel''': ''[chuckles]''
:''[Ariel looks around and sees a reflection of herself and then she sees something, Ariel picks up the box and opens it and King Triton dancing with Queen Athena.]''
:'''Sebastian''': It was an anniversary present. Your father had the music box made for your mother. Athena was more than his queen, you know. She was his best friend.
:''[Flashback of her and her sisters young, and Triton dances with Athena. And they play with each other, and young Ariel playing the piano for the first time. And her bandaged hand being kissed by King Triton]''
:'''Ariel''': ''[VO]'' The family together. Music playing all the time.
:'''Sebastian''': ''[VO]'' The palace always echoing with laughter. ''[The two girls hide and then they tackled their father, and they laugh in joy, and fades to Triton and Athena being on the rock at the surface world. And we fade back to the present.]'' When your mother died, the whole kingdom was heartbroken. The heart that never healed was your father's. ''[Ariel are sad about this]''
:'''Ariel''': It's so sad. He's forgotten what it feels like to be happy. I... I have to bring this back to him.
:'''Sebastian''': If you insist.
:'''Ariel''': This is why we came here, isn't it? ''[Sebastian smiles and we cut to the gang]''
:'''Ray-Ray''': Whoa, whoa, let me get this straight. You led us out here...
:'''Ink Spot''': To the armpit of nowhere, man.
:'''Shelbow''': In the hope that Red might find the music box. And now you wanna go back to the palace...
:'''Ink Spot''': To return the music box to the king...
:'''Ray-Ray''': On the chance that maybe it'll...
:'''Shelbow''': Remind him to remember how to be happy...
:'''Ink Spot''': And then he'll bring music back?
:'''Sebastian''': That about sums it up.
:'''Cheeks''': Couldn't we just strap it to a dolphin? He'd get it eventually. 
:''[The band gathered around again, to discuss it. And the band are done discussing it and say.]''
:'''Ray-Ray''': Listen, the band talked it over, and...
:'''Shelbow''': We just can't take that chance.
:'''Sebastian''': What?
:'''Flounder''': Huh?
:'''Ariel''': It's OK. Maybe someday it'll be different. You'll come home and play music all you want.
:'''Ray-Ray''': Sure, Red. Someday. Someday.
:'''Ariel''': Bye. ''[They swim different as Flounder is distaught by this]''
:'''Flounder''': What? No, no, wait. Ray-Ray! Guys! We can't just let them go back alone.
:'''Ray-Ray''': Drop it, small fry.
:'''Flounder''': But we took an oath! To jump, jive, wail, groove, rock steady, and at all times lend a helping hand to your fellow music lovers!
:'''Ray-Ray''': The Catfish Club is history. That oath don't mean a thing.
:'''Flounder''': Well, it still means something to me. Hey, Ariel! Wait up! Ariel! ''[Flounder swims up to Ariel's direction as the band watch him go]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;60%&quot;/&gt;
:''[They go through the keep forest, only that it's low on kelp]''
:'''Sebastian''': I don't remember this much kelp when we came through here last night.
:''[One the &quot;kelp&quot; moved and touched Ariel]''
:'''Flounder''': Kelp, schmelp. I ain't afraid of these overgrown weeds. Hi-yah! Take that! And that! ''[yelling in slow-motion]''
:''[He tries to bring down the kelp 4 times, but fails. And Flounder then looks up and the kelp were really Marina's eels.]''
:'''Sebastian''': Guys? That ain't kelp!
:''[They get scared of the eels and Marina pops up]''
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Surprise!
:'''Sebastian''':  Marina? What are you wearing?
:'''Marina Del Rey''': I thought I'd dress for the occasion.
:'''Sebastian''': What's the occasion? ''[She shows a net] [screams]'' '''''GO, GO, GO, GO!'''''
:'''Marina Del Rey''': Sic 'em, boys. [cackling]
:''[The eels chase them]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;60%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Sebastian facing against Marina]''
:'''Marina Del Rey''': I've tasted power, Sebastian. And I'm never letting go.
:'''Sebastian''':  Bring it on! ''[gathers the starfish]'' Come to daddy.
:''[Marina tries to attack him, but he throws starfish at her, and her face is covered with them]''
:'''Sebastian''':  Oh, my! ''[chuckling]''
:''[Marina gets angry and whacks him with her tail, Go back to Ariel and Flounder being chased by eels and comes across a dead end. Then Tentacles appear out of nowhere grabs them and pull them up and it turns out to be Ink Spot]''
:'''Ink Spot''': '''''NOW!'''''
:'''Ray-Ray''': Fire!
:''[He slingshots Cheeks into the pillars and they fall down and traps the eels inside]''
:'''Flounder''': Yeah! Awesome!
:'''Ray-Ray''': Ooh, they hurtin' for certain.
:'''Cheeks''': Yup, yup, yup. ''[Chuckles]''
:'''Ariel''': Sebastian's in trouble!
:'''Flounder''': Follow me!
:''[They swim to where Sebastian is facing Marina]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;60%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Marina chase Sebastian with sea rocks]''
:'''Sebastian''': Come on, try and get me.
:'''Marina Del Rey''': GET BACK HERE! ''[He goes inside a tube, and Marina reaches in there and tries to grab him, but her finger is snaped by him]'' Ow!
:'''Sebastian''': ''[singing]'' ''♪ Boom, chika, boom chika, boom, boom, boom! ♪''
:''[Marina then swim upward and then dives to crush Sebastian, but he gets out of the tube as Marina is caught and stuck inside of it]''
:'''Sebastian''': Tight fit?
:'''Marina Del Rey''': You... stink. ''[She falls and rolls down the hill and crashes off-screen]''
:'''Sebastian''': I win.

&lt;hr width=&quot;60%&quot;/&gt;
:''[At the final battle is over, Marina, still stuck in a tube, decides to swim up and run over Sebastian]''
:'''Ariel''': ''[gasps]'' SEBASTIAN!
:'''Flounder''': LOOKOUT!
:''[Ariel swims forward, as King Triton watches in horror]''
:'''King Triton''': ARIEL! NO!
:''[Marina starts to go after to hit Sebastian but Ariel blocked the attack, knocking her out of the way to save Sebastian, but made her unconscious, Ariel fells down, as King Triton swims toward her as the others watch in sadness. Then, the music box falls down from Ariel's arms and it opens and plays the song, as King Triton listens to it and realizes what has become of him]''
:'''King Triton''': What have I done? ''[singing]'' ''♪ Endless sky. Waves try to measure. The days that we treasure. ♪''
:''[Then suddenly, Ariel wakes up]''
:'''Ariel''': Daddy?
:'''King Triton''': I'm... I'm so sorry I didn't listen. I'm sorry.
:'''Ariel''': ''[hugs him]'' Daddy. Let's go home.
:'''Both''': ''[sigh]''
:''[King Triton swims off with Ariel in his arms]''
:'''Flounder''': Guys, you came back.
:'''Ray-Ray''': Sure did, small fry. Like you said, we took an oath.
:'''Ink Spot''': Come here, you little knucklehead. Group hug!
:'''Cheeks''': We dig you, man.
:''[They group hug around Flounder, squeezing him.]''
:Flounder: Guys... can't breathe. Mmm.
:''[Then Sebastian closes the music box and smiles at the audience]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;60%&quot;/&gt;
:''[At the courtroom, the merpeople gathered in]''
:'''King Triton''': ''[clears throat]'' To my daughters, and to all the citizens of Atlantica, I hereby decree that music will once again ring clear from one end of my kingdom to the other!
:'''Crowd''': ''[Cheers]''
:'''King Triton''': Therefore, I hereby present Atlantica's first official Court Composer.
:'''Flounder''': Fabulous! ''[indistinct chattering]''
:'''Sebastian''': Thank you, Your Highness. Uh.... Not that we don't trust you, Your Majesty, but... Swifty, hit it, mon.
:'''Swifty''': ''[clears throat]'' Raise your right hand, fin, claw, tentacle, or whatever the case may be. ''[Triton raises his hand]'' Very good. Do you promise to jump, jive, wail, groove, and at all times lend a helping hand to your fellow music lovers?
:'''King Triton''': Um... I do? ''[The crowd cheers]''
:'''Attina''': Thank you, Ariel.

&lt;hr width=&quot;60%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Marina and Benjamin are locked up with the dungeon and last line]''
:'''Benjamin''': Let's think about what we've learned. You just can't hurt people. Hurting is mean. We don't want to be mean, do we?
:'''Marina Del Rey''': ''[blows her nose]'' Maybe you're right.
:'''Benjamin''': ''[pinches her cheek]'' That's my girl. Samba? ''[up-tempo music plays, as he dances, and Marina joins in on the dance]'' Ooh-wa, ooh-wa!

==Cast==
* [[Jodi Benson]] as Ariel
* [[Samuel E. Wright]] as Sebastian
* [[w:Jim Cummings|Jim Cummings]] as King Triton and Shelbow
* [[Sally Field]] as Marina Del Ray
* [[w:Parker Goris|Parker Goris]] as Flounder
* [[w:Tara Strong|Tara Strong]] as Adella and Andrina
* [[w:Jennifer Hale|Jennifer Hale]] as Alana
* [[w:Grey DeLisle|Grey DeLisle]] as Aquata and Arista
* [[w:Kari Wahlgren|Kari Wahlgren]] as Attina
* [[w:Jeff Bennett|Jeff Bennett]] as Benjamin and the Swordfish Guards
* Lorelei Hill Butters as Queen Athena 
** [[w:Andrea Robinson|Andrea Robinson]] (singing voice)
* [[w:Rob Paulsen|Rob Paulsen]] as Ink Spot and Swifty
* [[w:Kevin Michael Richardson|Kevin Michael Richardson]] as Cheeks and Ray-Ray

==External Links==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{Imdb title| id=0969647|title=The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning}}
[[Category:2008 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]
[[Category:Prequel films]]
[[Category:Mermaid films]]
[[Category:Films about fish]]
[[Category:Prequel films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]</text>
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    <title>Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows</title>
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'''''{{w|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows}}''''' is a 2016 American superhero film and a sequel to 2014's ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014 film)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]''. The film stars [[Megan Fox]], {{w|Stephen Amell}}, [[Will Arnett]], {{w|Laura Linney}}, [[Brian Tee]], {{w|Brittany Ishibashi}}, [[Tyler Perry]], {{w|Gary Anthony Williams}}, {{w|Sheamus}} with {{w|Pete Ploszek}}, {{w|Alan Ritchson}}, {{w|Noel Fisher}}, {{w|Jeremy Howard}}, {{w|Tony Shalhoub}} and [[Brad Garrett]].

:''Directed by Dave Green. Written by Josh Appelbaum and André Nemec. Produced by Michael Bay, Andrew Form, Brad Fuller, Galen Walker and Scott Mednick.''

==Turtles==
===Leo===
* Good work, partners.

===Raph===
* What would [[Vin Diesel]] do? No regret, no fear. No regret, no fear. No regret, no fear!

===Mikey===
* ''[repeated line]'' This is awesome!

===Donnie===
* Oh, my god! Shredder did it. The portal is opening.

==Krang==
* ''[last words]'' I'll be back, Turtles, and I'll be 1,000 times stronger!

==Cast==
* Megan Fox as April O’Neil
* Stephen Amell as Casey Jones
* Will Arnett as Vernon Ferwick
* Brian Tee as the Shredder
* Tony Shalhoub as Splinter
* Gary Anthony Williams as Bebop
* Brad Garrett as Krang

==External links==

{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:2016 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Adventure films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles films]]
[[Category:Films about revenge]]
[[Category:Nickelodeon films]]
[[Category:Action comedy films]]
[[Category:Comedy science fiction films]]
[[Category:Films set on airplanes]]
[[Category:Reboot films]]</text>
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'''''{{w|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows}}''''' is a 2016 American superhero film and a sequel to 2014's ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014 film)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]''. The film stars [[Megan Fox]], {{w|Stephen Amell}}, [[Will Arnett]], {{w|Laura Linney}}, [[Brian Tee]], {{w|Brittany Ishibashi}}, [[Tyler Perry]], {{w|Gary Anthony Williams}}, {{w|Sheamus}} with {{w|Pete Ploszek}}, {{w|Alan Ritchson}}, {{w|Noel Fisher}}, {{w|Jeremy Howard}}, {{w|Tony Shalhoub}} and [[Brad Garrett]].

:''Directed by Dave Green. Written by Josh Appelbaum and André Nemec. Produced by Michael Bay, Andrew Form, Brad Fuller, Galen Walker and Scott Mednick.''

==Turtles==
===Leo===
* Good work, partners.

===Raph===
* What would [[w:Vin Diesel|Vin Diesel]] do? No regret, no fear. No regret, no fear. No regret, no fear!

===Mikey===
* ''[repeated line]'' This is awesome!

===Donnie===
* Oh, my god! Shredder did it. The portal is opening.

==Krang==
* ''[last words]'' I'll be back, Turtles, and I'll be 1,000 times stronger!

==Cast==
* Megan Fox as April O’Neil
* Stephen Amell as Casey Jones
* Will Arnett as Vernon Ferwick
* Brian Tee as the Shredder
* Tony Shalhoub as Splinter
* Gary Anthony Williams as Bebop
* Brad Garrett as Krang

==External links==

{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:2016 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Adventure films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles films]]
[[Category:Films about revenge]]
[[Category:Nickelodeon films]]
[[Category:Action comedy films]]
[[Category:Comedy science fiction films]]
[[Category:Films set on airplanes]]
[[Category:Reboot films]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Ana Castillo</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>220913</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158802</id>
      <parentid>2717687</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T10:30:40Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Frank Kaurismäki</username>
        <id>3130250</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="5108" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Ana-Castillo.png|thumb|Ana Castillo in 2006]]

'''[[w:Ana Castillo|Ana Castillo]]''' (June 15, 1953) is a Chicana novelist, poet, short story writer, essayist, editor, playwright, translator and independent scholar.

== Quotes ==

* As disturbing as some of us may find it there seems to be some evidence that the age men are most attracted to is a young teen, 13 to be specific. Women especially are subjected to ageism. Once she is past her twenties, I think a lot of women, let’s say in contemporary Western culture, still fear losing their sexual appeal, i.e., their worth as women…
** On a passage from her novel Give It To Me in [http://bmr.unm.edu/2014/12/19/an-interview-with-ana-castillo/ “AN INTERVIEW WITH ANA CASTILLO”] in ''Blue Mesa Review'' (2014 Dec 19)

* It is the nature of all living creatures, including Homo sapiens, I believe, to adapt to a place where they may survive. If that is something we as social beings called home then home it is for my main character in The Guardians, Regina who has plunked down hard earned pennies on a cachito of terreno where she can survive, plants some vegetables to live from, etc.
** On the concept of home for Latinas in [http://www.acentosreview.com/September_2008/Webhe-Herrera.html “The Power of a Query: An Interview with Ana Castillo”] in ''Acentos Review'' (September 2008)

* …But as far as the novel makes reference to that, Miguel seems to be willing to concede to the mother’s care more than enforce macho authority over the sickly boy. Miguel is a man of the new millennia. He listens to what his significant other opines. As an educated individual, he also turns to literature for answers. He reflects on his failed marriage and tries to learn from it rather than shut down and repeat his mistakes. There is a deep desire to find spiritual and romantic fulfillment. He’s willing to find new ways to do that within the constrictions of society’s patriarchal institutions.
** On how her character Miguel-Mike circumvents macho stereotypes in Castillo’s novel Massacre of the Dreamers in  [http://www.acentosreview.com/September_2008/Webhe-Herrera.html “The Power of a Query: An Interview with Ana Castillo”] in ''Acentos Review'' (September 2008)

* … In terms of Latino communities generally speaking, I don’t think women’s (and gay) sexual identities are more than simply tolerated outside the heterosexual one. But I do believe there is change taking place there, too. These are my observations and most definitely have no empirical basis. I do believe that straight men, regardless of age or background, because times are changing, are becoming more accepting of the variations of binary gender constricts.
** On how the concept of sexuality is shifting in Latino communities in  [http://www.acentosreview.com/September_2008/Webhe-Herrera.html “The Power of a Query: An Interview with Ana Castillo”] in ''Acentos Review'' (September 2008)

* “Black Dove” [“Paloma Negra”] is a mariachi song, and we Mexicans love our mariachis; we'd go celebrate Mother's Day or a birthday or something and ask for a song that brings a great deal of sentimental feeling to us individually or the table. That's how I feel with &quot;Black Dove.&quot; In the book I explain that it's a song that my mother actually sang as I left home as a young woman. My mother was very traditional, and in her mind, the way a girl leaves home is through marriage—me going out with my little satchel was not how they imagined it. They imagined the worst, that I was going to end up in a cabaret as one of those that dances for a few fellas.
** On how she chose the title of her 2016 memoir in [https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/d7anqq/write-whats-tearing-at-your-heart-feminist-ana-castillo-on-writing-her-rape “'Write What's Tearing at Your Heart': Feminist Ana Castillo on Writing Her Rape”] in ''Vice'' (2016 May 10)

* …I always tell people that you have to write what's tearing at your heart, what you need to resolve. I thought it was time to walk my talk. How was I going to write about parts of my life and not write about what really was motivating some of my behavior? I've written long enough to know where the boundaries are.
** On acknowledging her rape and suicide attempt in her memoir in [https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/d7anqq/write-whats-tearing-at-your-heart-feminist-ana-castillo-on-writing-her-rape “'Write What's Tearing at Your Heart': Feminist Ana Castillo on Writing Her Rape”] in ''Vice'' (2016 May 10)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Commons cat|Ana Castillo}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Castillo, Ana}}

[[Category:Novelists from the United States]]
[[Category:Poets from the United States]]
[[Category:Short story writers from the United States]]
[[Category:Essayists from the United States]]
[[Category:Editors from the United States]]
[[Category:Playwrights from the United States]]
[[Category:Translators]]
[[Category:Academics from the United States]]
[[Category:LGBT people]]
[[Category:Feminists]]
[[Category:1953 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Chicago]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Wubbzy's Big Movie!</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>225111</id>
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      <text bytes="1849" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Wubbzy's Big Movie!|Wubbzy's Big Movie!]]''''' is a 2008 American [[w:Flash animation|flash-animated]] musical comedy made-for-TV film based on the ''[[w:Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!|Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!]]'' television series which premiered on [[w:Starz (TV channel)|Starz Kids &amp; Family]] on Friday, August 29, 2008 distributed by [[w:Starz Animation|Starz Animation]] and [[w:Bolder Media|Bolder Media]] in association with [[w:Film Roman|Film Roman]]. It is like the [[Nick Jr.]] show ''[[Wow Wow Wubbzy]]''.

==Dialogue==
:'''Widget''': Jeepers, he doesn't remember anything. 
:''[Wubbzy moos like a cow]''
:'''Walden''': And he's mooing like a cow!
:'''Widget''': Something must've happened to him when he fell on his head!

==Voice cast==
* [[w:Grey DeLisle|Grey DeLisle]] as Wubbzy / Buggy / Kooky Kid / Old Lady / Madame Zabinga / Jumping Kid #2.
* [[w:Lara Jill Miller|Lara Jill Miller]] as Widget / Huggy / Old Lady Zamboni.
* [[w:Tara Strong|Tara Strong]] as Ball Kid #2 / Jumping Kid #2 / Swinging Kid #1.
* [[w:Carlos Alazraqui|Carlos Alazraqui]] as Walden / Earl / Swinging Kid #2 / Ball Kid #1 / Photographer / Dr. Flooey / Chef Fritz / Moo Moo the Magician / Sweet Tooth Tom / Store Clerk / Announcer / TV character.

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:2008 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]
[[Category:American animated TV films]]
[[Category:American flash animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]
[[Category:Musical comedy films]]
[[Category:Package films]]
[[Category:Films based on animated television series]]
[[Category:Animated films about bears]]
[[Category:Animated films about rabbits and hares]]
[[Category:Animated films about friendship]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 13</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>235923</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158654</id>
      <parentid>3156135</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T19:31:28Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2600:1005:B018:2AD3:59F:605E:29DD:3397</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Episode 15 */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="10299" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4|4]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] '''13''' ([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie|a movie]], followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==

===''A Place for Pets (1.1)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Squidward?
:'''Squidward''': Yes, Mr.- '''''achoo!''' Krabs?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Why don't all these new pets have patties in front of them, I'm running a business, not a showdown.

===''Lockdown for Love (1.2)''===
:'''Karen''': Ah, I'm floating on air! A balloon ride, a candle-light dinner, and our wedding song is playing! Oh, this day is perfect.
:'''Plankton''': No, you're perfect, Karen. You're the best computer wife a copepod ever could have! [types on keyboard] Bon-bon?
:'''Karen''': Oh, I shouldn't.

==Episode 2==

===''Under the Small Top (2.1)'' ===
:'''SpongeBob''': I Sent this for me yesterday, and i'm still waiting.
:'''Announcer''': Bummer, Dude! 
:'''SpongeBob''': What?
:'''Announcer''': Bummer Dude action figures, they're miserable. [SpongeBob Turns off the TV]
:'''Mailman''': Hey, hey, hey spongebob, got a buncha great stuff for you today [holds up a catalog] The New &quot;Spatula Emporium&quot; Catalog
:'''SpongeBob''': No
:'''Mailman''': [Holds up a Check] Free Money from the sweepstakes you won.
:'''SpongeBob''': [Tears off a check] No.
:'''Mailman''': [Holds up a letter] A Letter from your family?
:'''SpongeBob''': [eats it up] No, how about packages, do you have any packages for me?
:'''Mailman''': Nope, No Packages, Sorry to Disappoint You, SpongeBob.

===''Squidward's Sick Daze (2.2)''===

==Episode 3==

===''Pat the Dog (3.1)''===

:'''Marvin''': Say Hello to &lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;BUTCHER!&lt;/span&gt;
===''Goofy Scoopers (3.2)''===
:'''French Narrator''': Zee Next Morning
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Goofy Goober Manager''': The Goofy Scoopers are Over, They're Just Too Fashioned, The Kids Want a New Sound.
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': ''''' A NEW SOUND?!'''
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Goofy Goober Manager''': Say Hello to DJ 2 Sc00pz!
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, Stop with all of this Womps-Womps and Wups-Wups!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Clem''': Get me out of this crazy circus, i'm terrified of clowns [a scary clown appears when he opens a tent]

==Episode 4==

===''Something Narwhal This Way Comes (4.1)''===
:'''Patrick''': Hurry it up, other people need to use the whirlpool bathtub.
&lt;hr width50%&gt;
:''[Narlene Crafts A Wooden Toothpick]
:'''Narlene''':Yeah [Nobby Crafts A Wooden Turkey On A Plate]
:'''Nobby''': Ah, Thanksgiving. [SpongeBob Turns himself into a banjo, he plays himselfs and chases squidward away]
&lt;hr width50%&gt;
:'''Narlene''': What's the Bad News?

===''C.H.U.M.S (4.2)''===
:'''Plankton''': Today your Formula, Tommorow the World!

==''SpongeBob's Road To Christmas'' (Episode 5)==
:'''SpongeBob''': [Chuckles] Look at That, Gary. It's the Present I Left For Santa Last Christmas, Isn't That Nice? '''''THE PRESENT I LEFT FOR SANTA LAST CHRISTMAS?!''': He Never Got it, Oh... My Present is to Santa 212 Days Late. [Crying] Late, It's a Tradegy. I Can't Go On, [Crying] Nope, I'll Go On, BUT I CAN'T GO ON! [Continues Crying]

==Episode 6==

===''There Will Be Grease! (6.1)''===

:'''Sandy''': Well, I Do Like Breathing, I'll Take the Whole Case!

===''Potato Puff (6.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': See You Tommorow, Mrs. Puff!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Mrs. Puff''': Where is That Music Coming From?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Mrs. Puff''': Now i Can Catch up On my Stories
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Mrs. Puff''': [She Looks at the Window, Bikini Bottom Is Destroyed and Caught on Fire, the Anchor, the lighthouse, the Helicopter All Go Down, Cuts Back to Mrs.Puff] Um, SpongeBob? GAH, Hello?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Baby''': I'm Getting To Old For This... [He Carries Her Parents and Rube While The Thugs Crash into the Dynamite Factory]
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:''[A Potato is Cutted and Peeled off, cut in half, splats through the wall, the wig lands on it, the gravy truck gets knocked over, and it is covered on it, spongebob gets off the seat]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Mrs. Puff, You've Been Mashed! [Cries in Hysteric, Takes his eyes out, blows them and puts them back, continues wailing, but then mrs. puff returned]

==Episode 7==

===''The Big Bad Bubble Bass (7.1)''===
:'''Bubble Bass''': ScumBob, Putrick, You Blithering Fools Better Hand me Over Pigulon Right Now, Or I'll Chug, I'll Glug, And I'll Belch Your House Down!
:'''Patrick''': [Holding up Pigulon] Nobody's Home!
:'''Bubble Bass''': [Holds Up a Bottle of Fizz Bomb Cola] Time For Some Fizz Bomb Burp Fuel! [He Drinks Some Soda, Then Belches SpongeBob's Pineapple Down, But Gary Falls Down While SpongeBob And Patrick Ran Away to The Rock]

===''Sea-Man Sponge Haters Club (7.2)''===

:'''Mrs.Puff''': Where are we Gonna Finish our Club Meeting Now?

==Episode 8==

===''Food PBBFT! Truck (8.1)''===

:'''Bert''': I Can't Understand your Accent [Raspberry]

===''Upturn Girls (8.2)''===

:'''Pearl''': Narlene, That's Lady Upturn!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Narlene''': Well, if the Shoe fits.

==Episode 9==

===''Say 'Awww!' (9.1)''===

:'''Everyone''': [chanting] eat him, eat him! 
:'''SpongeBob''': I---Oh, I Know, I'll try the soothing power of music, [holds up a guitar] Ohhh.... [string plucks] Oh, rats... [the QT-P1 Robot transforms and roars at spongebob and eats him]
:'''Everyone''': Yay, you did it boy! woo-hoo!
:'''SpongeBob''': [Everyone Cheer For Him] A Suprise Party for Me?
:'''Plankton''': [he gets off of spongebob] this isn't a party, you boob.
:'''SpongeBob''': [he gets up] Well, Why did everyone cheer for me because i showed up?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Because with you, we can finally reach the &quot;uvuler&quot;. ALL RIGHT, LET'S TRY IT AGAIN PEOPLE! [everyone forms up while spongebob is on top of patrick star] 
:'''All''':: Oh, Oh, Whoa, Whoa, What's Going On? [Plankton Holds up everyone as spongebob reaches the uvula, the monster screeches and spits everyone back out]
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Plankton''': What do you mean i'm too short to ride this ride? I BUILT THIS!
:'''Manager''': Sorry, Buddy, rules is rules even for an adorable little guy like you.
:'''Plankton''': Real Cute.

===''Patrick The Mailman (9.2)''===

:'''Patrick''': I'm a Mailman Now! [Laughs]
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow! I've always wanted to be a mailman. It's like getting to be santa everyday, except sundays.
:'''Patrick''': Sorry, SpongeBob. But i'm the mailman now. 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, Okay
:'''Patrick''': But you can be my postal pal!
:'''SpongeBob''': Whee! Oh, Ah! [He Wears a Mailman Hat]
:'''Patrick''': Let's Get Mailing!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kevin''': Can i Help You?
:'''Both''': SPECIAL DELEIVERY!!!
:'''Kevin''': I Don't Want It!
:'''SpongeBob''': Maybe we should just move on to the next house.
:'''Patrick''': Pfft, No. I Am a Mailman, like the postal oath say, neither bunions or onions nor ditches or dangers will stop me from giving stuff to strangers.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kevin''': It's July!
:'''Patrick''': Just take a letter
:'''Kevin''': ''''&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;I DON'T WANT IT!!!'''
:'''Patrick''': &lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;Neither Onions or Bonions!!&lt;/span&gt; [He And Kevin Scream] Huh, Ooh... [He Eats up a Pie] Take Your Mail!!!
:'''Kevin''':HEY! [He and Patrick got into a dust cloud brawl]
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[At the Bikini Bottom Jail]''
:'''Mailman''': [Holds up A Big Envelope with spongebob and patrick inside] Here's today's mail, warden.
:'''Both''': Special Deleivery [laughs at the end of the episode]

==Episode 10==

===''Captain Pipsqueak (10.1)''===

===''Plane To Sea (10.2)''===

==Episode 11==

===''Squidferatu (11.1)''===

===''Slappy Days (11.2)''===

==Episode 12==

===''Welcome to Binary Bottom (12.1)''===

===''You're Going to Pay...Phone (12.2)''===

===''A Skin Wrinkle in Time (12.3)''===

==Episode 13==

===''Abandon Twits (13.1)''===

===''Wallhalla (13.2)''===

==Episode 14==

===''The Salty Sponge (14.1)''===

===''Karen For Spot (14.2)''===

==Episode 15==

===''TBA (15.1)''===

===''TBA (15.2)''===

==Episode 16==

===''TBA (16.1)''===

===''TBA (16.2)''===

==Episode 17==

===''TBA (17.1)''===

===''TBA (17.2)''===

===''TBA (17.3)''===

==Episode 18==

===''TBA (18.1)''===

===''TBA (18.2)''===

==Episode 19==

===''TBA (1.1)''===

===''TBA (19.2)''===

==External links==
{{Wikipedia|SpongeBob SquarePants (season 13)}}
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants seasons]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]]</text>
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      <id>3158657</id>
      <parentid>3158654</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T19:35:36Z</timestamp>
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      <model>wikitext</model>
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      <text bytes="10436" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4|4]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] '''13''' ([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie|a movie]], followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==

===''A Place for Pets (1.1)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Squidward?
:'''Squidward''': Yes, Mr.- '''''achoo!''' Krabs?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Why don't all these new pets have patties in front of them, I'm running a business, not a showdown.

===''Lockdown for Love (1.2)''===
:'''Karen''': Ah, I'm floating on air! A balloon ride, a candle-light dinner, and our wedding song is playing! Oh, this day is perfect.
:'''Plankton''': No, you're perfect, Karen. You're the best computer wife a copepod ever could have! [types on keyboard] Bon-bon?
:'''Karen''': Oh, I shouldn't.

==Episode 2==

===''Under the Small Top (2.1)'' ===
:'''SpongeBob''': I Sent this for me yesterday, and i'm still waiting.
:'''Announcer''': Bummer, Dude! 
:'''SpongeBob''': What?
:'''Announcer''': Bummer Dude action figures, they're miserable. [SpongeBob Turns off the TV]
:'''Mailman''': Hey, hey, hey spongebob, got a buncha great stuff for you today [holds up a catalog] The New &quot;Spatula Emporium&quot; Catalog
:'''SpongeBob''': No
:'''Mailman''': [Holds up a Check] Free Money from the sweepstakes you won.
:'''SpongeBob''': [Tears off a check] No.
:'''Mailman''': [Holds up a letter] A Letter from your family?
:'''SpongeBob''': [eats it up] No, how about packages, do you have any packages for me?
:'''Mailman''': Nope, No Packages, Sorry to Disappoint You, SpongeBob.

===''Squidward's Sick Daze (2.2)''===

==Episode 3==

===''Pat the Dog (3.1)''===

:'''Marvin''': Say Hello to &lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;BUTCHER!&lt;/span&gt;
===''Goofy Scoopers (3.2)''===
:'''French Narrator''': Zee Next Morning
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Goofy Goober Manager''': The Goofy Scoopers are Over, They're Just Too Fashioned, The Kids Want a New Sound.
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': ''''' A NEW SOUND?!'''
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Goofy Goober Manager''': Say Hello to DJ 2 Sc00pz!
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, Stop with all of this Womps-Womps and Wups-Wups!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Clem''': Get me out of this crazy circus, i'm terrified of clowns [a scary clown appears when he opens a tent]

==Episode 4==

===''Something Narwhal This Way Comes (4.1)''===
:'''Patrick''': Hurry it up, other people need to use the whirlpool bathtub.
&lt;hr width50%&gt;
:''[Narlene Crafts A Wooden Toothpick]
:'''Narlene''':Yeah [Nobby Crafts A Wooden Turkey On A Plate]
:'''Nobby''': Ah, Thanksgiving. [SpongeBob Turns himself into a banjo, he plays himselfs and chases squidward away]
&lt;hr width50%&gt;
:'''Narlene''': What's the Bad News?

===''C.H.U.M.S (4.2)''===
:'''Plankton''': Today your Formula, Tommorow the World!

==''SpongeBob's Road To Christmas'' (Episode 5)==
:'''SpongeBob''': [Chuckles] Look at That, Gary. It's the Present I Left For Santa Last Christmas, Isn't That Nice? '''''THE PRESENT I LEFT FOR SANTA LAST CHRISTMAS?!''': He Never Got it, Oh... My Present is to Santa 212 Days Late. [Crying] Late, It's a Tradegy. I Can't Go On, [Crying] Nope, I'll Go On, BUT I CAN'T GO ON! [Continues Crying]

==Episode 6==

===''There Will Be Grease! (6.1)''===

:'''Sandy''': Well, I Do Like Breathing, I'll Take the Whole Case!

===''Potato Puff (6.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': See You Tommorow, Mrs. Puff!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Mrs. Puff''': Where is That Music Coming From?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Mrs. Puff''': Now i Can Catch up On my Stories
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Mrs. Puff''': [She Looks at the Window, Bikini Bottom Is Destroyed and Caught on Fire, the Anchor, the lighthouse, the Helicopter All Go Down, Cuts Back to Mrs.Puff] Um, SpongeBob? GAH, Hello?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Baby''': I'm Getting To Old For This... [He Carries Her Parents and Rube While The Thugs Crash into the Dynamite Factory]
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:''[A Potato is Cutted and Peeled off, cut in half, splats through the wall, the wig lands on it, the gravy truck gets knocked over, and it is covered on it, spongebob gets off the seat]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Mrs. Puff, You've Been Mashed! [Cries in Hysteric, Takes his eyes out, blows them and puts them back, continues wailing, but then mrs. puff returned]

==Episode 7==

===''The Big Bad Bubble Bass (7.1)''===
:'''Bubble Bass''': ScumBob, Putrick, You Blithering Fools Better Hand me Over Pigulon Right Now, Or I'll Chug, I'll Glug, And I'll Belch Your House Down!
:'''Patrick''': [Holding up Pigulon] Nobody's Home!
:'''Bubble Bass''': [Holds Up a Bottle of Fizz Bomb Cola] Time For Some Fizz Bomb Burp Fuel! [He Drinks Some Soda, Then Belches SpongeBob's Pineapple Down, But Gary Falls Down While SpongeBob And Patrick Ran Away to The Rock]

===''Sea-Man Sponge Haters Club (7.2)''===

:'''Mrs.Puff''': Where are we Gonna Finish our Club Meeting Now?

==Episode 8==

===''Food PBBFT! Truck (8.1)''===

:'''Bert''': I Can't Understand your Accent [Raspberry]

===''Upturn Girls (8.2)''===

:'''Pearl''': Narlene, That's Lady Upturn!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Narlene''': Well, if the Shoe fits. [But When His Foot Sniffs out a Shoe, He Starts Getting Rid of It by Gnawing On it.]
:'''Shoe Manager''': You've Slaughtered our vessel!

==Episode 9==

===''Say 'Awww!' (9.1)''===

:'''Everyone''': [chanting] eat him, eat him! 
:'''SpongeBob''': I---Oh, I Know, I'll try the soothing power of music, [holds up a guitar] Ohhh.... [string plucks] Oh, rats... [the QT-P1 Robot transforms and roars at spongebob and eats him]
:'''Everyone''': Yay, you did it boy! woo-hoo!
:'''SpongeBob''': [Everyone Cheer For Him] A Suprise Party for Me?
:'''Plankton''': [he gets off of spongebob] this isn't a party, you boob.
:'''SpongeBob''': [he gets up] Well, Why did everyone cheer for me because i showed up?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Because with you, we can finally reach the &quot;uvuler&quot;. ALL RIGHT, LET'S TRY IT AGAIN PEOPLE! [everyone forms up while spongebob is on top of patrick star] 
:'''All''':: Oh, Oh, Whoa, Whoa, What's Going On? [Plankton Holds up everyone as spongebob reaches the uvula, the monster screeches and spits everyone back out]
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Plankton''': What do you mean i'm too short to ride this ride? I BUILT THIS!
:'''Manager''': Sorry, Buddy, rules is rules even for an adorable little guy like you.
:'''Plankton''': Real Cute.

===''Patrick The Mailman (9.2)''===

:'''Patrick''': I'm a Mailman Now! [Laughs]
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow! I've always wanted to be a mailman. It's like getting to be santa everyday, except sundays.
:'''Patrick''': Sorry, SpongeBob. But i'm the mailman now. 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, Okay
:'''Patrick''': But you can be my postal pal!
:'''SpongeBob''': Whee! Oh, Ah! [He Wears a Mailman Hat]
:'''Patrick''': Let's Get Mailing!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kevin''': Can i Help You?
:'''Both''': SPECIAL DELEIVERY!!!
:'''Kevin''': I Don't Want It!
:'''SpongeBob''': Maybe we should just move on to the next house.
:'''Patrick''': Pfft, No. I Am a Mailman, like the postal oath say, neither bunions or onions nor ditches or dangers will stop me from giving stuff to strangers.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kevin''': It's July!
:'''Patrick''': Just take a letter
:'''Kevin''': ''''&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;I DON'T WANT IT!!!'''
:'''Patrick''': &lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;Neither Onions or Bonions!!&lt;/span&gt; [He And Kevin Scream] Huh, Ooh... [He Eats up a Pie] Take Your Mail!!!
:'''Kevin''':HEY! [He and Patrick got into a dust cloud brawl]
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[At the Bikini Bottom Jail]''
:'''Mailman''': [Holds up A Big Envelope with spongebob and patrick inside] Here's today's mail, warden.
:'''Both''': Special Deleivery [laughs at the end of the episode]

==Episode 10==

===''Captain Pipsqueak (10.1)''===

===''Plane To Sea (10.2)''===

==Episode 11==

===''Squidferatu (11.1)''===

===''Slappy Days (11.2)''===

==Episode 12==

===''Welcome to Binary Bottom (12.1)''===

===''You're Going to Pay...Phone (12.2)''===

===''A Skin Wrinkle in Time (12.3)''===

==Episode 13==

===''Abandon Twits (13.1)''===

===''Wallhalla (13.2)''===

==Episode 14==

===''The Salty Sponge (14.1)''===

===''Karen For Spot (14.2)''===

==Episode 15==

===''TBA (15.1)''===

===''TBA (15.2)''===

==Episode 16==

===''TBA (16.1)''===

===''TBA (16.2)''===

==Episode 17==

===''TBA (17.1)''===

===''TBA (17.2)''===

===''TBA (17.3)''===

==Episode 18==

===''TBA (18.1)''===

===''TBA (18.2)''===

==Episode 19==

===''TBA (1.1)''===

===''TBA (19.2)''===

==External links==
{{Wikipedia|SpongeBob SquarePants (season 13)}}
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants seasons]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]]</text>
      <sha1>nultq84u50461ivyi2uz33ts3m0bowh</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158660</id>
      <parentid>3158657</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T19:38:15Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2600:1005:B018:2AD3:59F:605E:29DD:3397</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Goofy Scoopers (3.2) */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="10562" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4|4]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] '''13''' ([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie|a movie]], followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==

===''A Place for Pets (1.1)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Squidward?
:'''Squidward''': Yes, Mr.- '''''achoo!''' Krabs?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Why don't all these new pets have patties in front of them, I'm running a business, not a showdown.

===''Lockdown for Love (1.2)''===
:'''Karen''': Ah, I'm floating on air! A balloon ride, a candle-light dinner, and our wedding song is playing! Oh, this day is perfect.
:'''Plankton''': No, you're perfect, Karen. You're the best computer wife a copepod ever could have! [types on keyboard] Bon-bon?
:'''Karen''': Oh, I shouldn't.

==Episode 2==

===''Under the Small Top (2.1)'' ===
:'''SpongeBob''': I Sent this for me yesterday, and i'm still waiting.
:'''Announcer''': Bummer, Dude! 
:'''SpongeBob''': What?
:'''Announcer''': Bummer Dude action figures, they're miserable. [SpongeBob Turns off the TV]
:'''Mailman''': Hey, hey, hey spongebob, got a buncha great stuff for you today [holds up a catalog] The New &quot;Spatula Emporium&quot; Catalog
:'''SpongeBob''': No
:'''Mailman''': [Holds up a Check] Free Money from the sweepstakes you won.
:'''SpongeBob''': [Tears off a check] No.
:'''Mailman''': [Holds up a letter] A Letter from your family?
:'''SpongeBob''': [eats it up] No, how about packages, do you have any packages for me?
:'''Mailman''': Nope, No Packages, Sorry to Disappoint You, SpongeBob.

===''Squidward's Sick Daze (2.2)''===

==Episode 3==

===''Pat the Dog (3.1)''===

:'''Marvin''': Say Hello to &lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;BUTCHER!&lt;/span&gt;
===''Goofy Scoopers (3.2)''===
:'''French Narrator''': Zee Next Morning
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Goofy Goober Manager''': The Goofy Scoopers are Over, They're Too Fashioned, The Kids Want a New Sound.
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': ''''' A NEW SOUND?!'''
:'''Goofy Goober Manager''': That's Right, The Newest Invention was An Ice Cream DJ, But Then... Say Hello to DJ 2 Sc00pz! [DJ 2 Sc00pz Turns on the Music, the Kids Dance, and Patrick is dancing]
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, Stop with all of this Womps-Womps and Wups-Wups! Tell Me Where The Scoopers Are, Are They At The Coffee House? Or The Bikini Bottom Bowl? Or On A World Tour?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Clem''': Get me out of this crazy circus, i'm terrified of clowns [a scary clown appears when he opens a tent]

==Episode 4==

===''Something Narwhal This Way Comes (4.1)''===
:'''Patrick''': Hurry it up, other people need to use the whirlpool bathtub.
&lt;hr width50%&gt;
:''[Narlene Crafts A Wooden Toothpick]
:'''Narlene''':Yeah [Nobby Crafts A Wooden Turkey On A Plate]
:'''Nobby''': Ah, Thanksgiving. [SpongeBob Turns himself into a banjo, he plays himselfs and chases squidward away]
&lt;hr width50%&gt;
:'''Narlene''': What's the Bad News?

===''C.H.U.M.S (4.2)''===
:'''Plankton''': Today your Formula, Tommorow the World!

==''SpongeBob's Road To Christmas'' (Episode 5)==
:'''SpongeBob''': [Chuckles] Look at That, Gary. It's the Present I Left For Santa Last Christmas, Isn't That Nice? '''''THE PRESENT I LEFT FOR SANTA LAST CHRISTMAS?!''': He Never Got it, Oh... My Present is to Santa 212 Days Late. [Crying] Late, It's a Tradegy. I Can't Go On, [Crying] Nope, I'll Go On, BUT I CAN'T GO ON! [Continues Crying]

==Episode 6==

===''There Will Be Grease! (6.1)''===

:'''Sandy''': Well, I Do Like Breathing, I'll Take the Whole Case!

===''Potato Puff (6.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': See You Tommorow, Mrs. Puff!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Mrs. Puff''': Where is That Music Coming From?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Mrs. Puff''': Now i Can Catch up On my Stories
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Mrs. Puff''': [She Looks at the Window, Bikini Bottom Is Destroyed and Caught on Fire, the Anchor, the lighthouse, the Helicopter All Go Down, Cuts Back to Mrs.Puff] Um, SpongeBob? GAH, Hello?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Baby''': I'm Getting To Old For This... [He Carries Her Parents and Rube While The Thugs Crash into the Dynamite Factory]
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:''[A Potato is Cutted and Peeled off, cut in half, splats through the wall, the wig lands on it, the gravy truck gets knocked over, and it is covered on it, spongebob gets off the seat]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Mrs. Puff, You've Been Mashed! [Cries in Hysteric, Takes his eyes out, blows them and puts them back, continues wailing, but then mrs. puff returned]

==Episode 7==

===''The Big Bad Bubble Bass (7.1)''===
:'''Bubble Bass''': ScumBob, Putrick, You Blithering Fools Better Hand me Over Pigulon Right Now, Or I'll Chug, I'll Glug, And I'll Belch Your House Down!
:'''Patrick''': [Holding up Pigulon] Nobody's Home!
:'''Bubble Bass''': [Holds Up a Bottle of Fizz Bomb Cola] Time For Some Fizz Bomb Burp Fuel! [He Drinks Some Soda, Then Belches SpongeBob's Pineapple Down, But Gary Falls Down While SpongeBob And Patrick Ran Away to The Rock]

===''Sea-Man Sponge Haters Club (7.2)''===

:'''Mrs.Puff''': Where are we Gonna Finish our Club Meeting Now?

==Episode 8==

===''Food PBBFT! Truck (8.1)''===

:'''Bert''': I Can't Understand your Accent [Raspberry]

===''Upturn Girls (8.2)''===

:'''Pearl''': Narlene, That's Lady Upturn!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Narlene''': Well, if the Shoe fits. [But When His Foot Sniffs out a Shoe, He Starts Getting Rid of It by Gnawing On it.]
:'''Shoe Manager''': You've Slaughtered our vessel!

==Episode 9==

===''Say 'Awww!' (9.1)''===

:'''Everyone''': [chanting] eat him, eat him! 
:'''SpongeBob''': I---Oh, I Know, I'll try the soothing power of music, [holds up a guitar] Ohhh.... [string plucks] Oh, rats... [the QT-P1 Robot transforms and roars at spongebob and eats him]
:'''Everyone''': Yay, you did it boy! woo-hoo!
:'''SpongeBob''': [Everyone Cheer For Him] A Suprise Party for Me?
:'''Plankton''': [he gets off of spongebob] this isn't a party, you boob.
:'''SpongeBob''': [he gets up] Well, Why did everyone cheer for me because i showed up?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Because with you, we can finally reach the &quot;uvuler&quot;. ALL RIGHT, LET'S TRY IT AGAIN PEOPLE! [everyone forms up while spongebob is on top of patrick star] 
:'''All''':: Oh, Oh, Whoa, Whoa, What's Going On? [Plankton Holds up everyone as spongebob reaches the uvula, the monster screeches and spits everyone back out]
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Plankton''': What do you mean i'm too short to ride this ride? I BUILT THIS!
:'''Manager''': Sorry, Buddy, rules is rules even for an adorable little guy like you.
:'''Plankton''': Real Cute.

===''Patrick The Mailman (9.2)''===

:'''Patrick''': I'm a Mailman Now! [Laughs]
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow! I've always wanted to be a mailman. It's like getting to be santa everyday, except sundays.
:'''Patrick''': Sorry, SpongeBob. But i'm the mailman now. 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, Okay
:'''Patrick''': But you can be my postal pal!
:'''SpongeBob''': Whee! Oh, Ah! [He Wears a Mailman Hat]
:'''Patrick''': Let's Get Mailing!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kevin''': Can i Help You?
:'''Both''': SPECIAL DELEIVERY!!!
:'''Kevin''': I Don't Want It!
:'''SpongeBob''': Maybe we should just move on to the next house.
:'''Patrick''': Pfft, No. I Am a Mailman, like the postal oath say, neither bunions or onions nor ditches or dangers will stop me from giving stuff to strangers.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kevin''': It's July!
:'''Patrick''': Just take a letter
:'''Kevin''': ''''&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;I DON'T WANT IT!!!'''
:'''Patrick''': &lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;Neither Onions or Bonions!!&lt;/span&gt; [He And Kevin Scream] Huh, Ooh... [He Eats up a Pie] Take Your Mail!!!
:'''Kevin''':HEY! [He and Patrick got into a dust cloud brawl]
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[At the Bikini Bottom Jail]''
:'''Mailman''': [Holds up A Big Envelope with spongebob and patrick inside] Here's today's mail, warden.
:'''Both''': Special Deleivery [laughs at the end of the episode]

==Episode 10==

===''Captain Pipsqueak (10.1)''===

===''Plane To Sea (10.2)''===

==Episode 11==

===''Squidferatu (11.1)''===

===''Slappy Days (11.2)''===

==Episode 12==

===''Welcome to Binary Bottom (12.1)''===

===''You're Going to Pay...Phone (12.2)''===

===''A Skin Wrinkle in Time (12.3)''===

==Episode 13==

===''Abandon Twits (13.1)''===

===''Wallhalla (13.2)''===

==Episode 14==

===''The Salty Sponge (14.1)''===

===''Karen For Spot (14.2)''===

==Episode 15==

===''TBA (15.1)''===

===''TBA (15.2)''===

==Episode 16==

===''TBA (16.1)''===

===''TBA (16.2)''===

==Episode 17==

===''TBA (17.1)''===

===''TBA (17.2)''===

===''TBA (17.3)''===

==Episode 18==

===''TBA (18.1)''===

===''TBA (18.2)''===

==Episode 19==

===''TBA (1.1)''===

===''TBA (19.2)''===

==External links==
{{Wikipedia|SpongeBob SquarePants (season 13)}}
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants seasons]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]]</text>
      <sha1>gb14qlsqktj3i8is7tl4ukc7t51dnrg</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158665</id>
      <parentid>3158660</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T19:44:10Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2600:1005:B018:2AD3:59F:605E:29DD:3397</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="10600" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4|4]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] '''13''' [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 14|14]]([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie|a movie]], followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==

===''A Place for Pets (1.1)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Squidward?
:'''Squidward''': Yes, Mr.- '''''achoo!''' Krabs?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Why don't all these new pets have patties in front of them, I'm running a business, not a showdown.

===''Lockdown for Love (1.2)''===
:'''Karen''': Ah, I'm floating on air! A balloon ride, a candle-light dinner, and our wedding song is playing! Oh, this day is perfect.
:'''Plankton''': No, you're perfect, Karen. You're the best computer wife a copepod ever could have! [types on keyboard] Bon-bon?
:'''Karen''': Oh, I shouldn't.

==Episode 2==

===''Under the Small Top (2.1)'' ===
:'''SpongeBob''': I Sent this for me yesterday, and i'm still waiting.
:'''Announcer''': Bummer, Dude! 
:'''SpongeBob''': What?
:'''Announcer''': Bummer Dude action figures, they're miserable. [SpongeBob Turns off the TV]
:'''Mailman''': Hey, hey, hey spongebob, got a buncha great stuff for you today [holds up a catalog] The New &quot;Spatula Emporium&quot; Catalog
:'''SpongeBob''': No
:'''Mailman''': [Holds up a Check] Free Money from the sweepstakes you won.
:'''SpongeBob''': [Tears off a check] No.
:'''Mailman''': [Holds up a letter] A Letter from your family?
:'''SpongeBob''': [eats it up] No, how about packages, do you have any packages for me?
:'''Mailman''': Nope, No Packages, Sorry to Disappoint You, SpongeBob.

===''Squidward's Sick Daze (2.2)''===

==Episode 3==

===''Pat the Dog (3.1)''===

:'''Marvin''': Say Hello to &lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;BUTCHER!&lt;/span&gt;
===''Goofy Scoopers (3.2)''===
:'''French Narrator''': Zee Next Morning
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Goofy Goober Manager''': The Goofy Scoopers are Over, They're Too Fashioned, The Kids Want a New Sound.
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': ''''' A NEW SOUND?!'''
:'''Goofy Goober Manager''': That's Right, The Newest Invention was An Ice Cream DJ, But Then... Say Hello to DJ 2 Sc00pz! [DJ 2 Sc00pz Turns on the Music, the Kids Dance, and Patrick is dancing]
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, Stop with all of this Womps-Womps and Wups-Wups! Tell Me Where The Scoopers Are, Are They At The Coffee House? Or The Bikini Bottom Bowl? Or On A World Tour?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Clem''': Get me out of this crazy circus, i'm terrified of clowns [a scary clown appears when he opens a tent]

==Episode 4==

===''Something Narwhal This Way Comes (4.1)''===
:'''Patrick''': Hurry it up, other people need to use the whirlpool bathtub.
&lt;hr width50%&gt;
:''[Narlene Crafts A Wooden Toothpick]
:'''Narlene''':Yeah [Nobby Crafts A Wooden Turkey On A Plate]
:'''Nobby''': Ah, Thanksgiving. [SpongeBob Turns himself into a banjo, he plays himselfs and chases squidward away]
&lt;hr width50%&gt;
:'''Narlene''': What's the Bad News?

===''C.H.U.M.S (4.2)''===
:'''Plankton''': Today your Formula, Tommorow the World!

==''SpongeBob's Road To Christmas'' (Episode 5)==
:'''SpongeBob''': [Chuckles] Look at That, Gary. It's the Present I Left For Santa Last Christmas, Isn't That Nice? '''''THE PRESENT I LEFT FOR SANTA LAST CHRISTMAS?!''': He Never Got it, Oh... My Present is to Santa 212 Days Late. [Crying] Late, It's a Tradegy. I Can't Go On, [Crying] Nope, I'll Go On, BUT I CAN'T GO ON! [Continues Crying]

==Episode 6==

===''There Will Be Grease! (6.1)''===

:'''Sandy''': Well, I Do Like Breathing, I'll Take the Whole Case!

===''Potato Puff (6.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': See You Tommorow, Mrs. Puff!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Mrs. Puff''': Where is That Music Coming From?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Mrs. Puff''': Now i Can Catch up On my Stories
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Mrs. Puff''': [She Looks at the Window, Bikini Bottom Is Destroyed and Caught on Fire, the Anchor, the lighthouse, the Helicopter All Go Down, Cuts Back to Mrs.Puff] Um, SpongeBob? GAH, Hello?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Baby''': I'm Getting To Old For This... [He Carries Her Parents and Rube While The Thugs Crash into the Dynamite Factory]
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:''[A Potato is Cutted and Peeled off, cut in half, splats through the wall, the wig lands on it, the gravy truck gets knocked over, and it is covered on it, spongebob gets off the seat]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Mrs. Puff, You've Been Mashed! [Cries in Hysteric, Takes his eyes out, blows them and puts them back, continues wailing, but then mrs. puff returned]

==Episode 7==

===''The Big Bad Bubble Bass (7.1)''===
:'''Bubble Bass''': ScumBob, Putrick, You Blithering Fools Better Hand me Over Pigulon Right Now, Or I'll Chug, I'll Glug, And I'll Belch Your House Down!
:'''Patrick''': [Holding up Pigulon] Nobody's Home!
:'''Bubble Bass''': [Holds Up a Bottle of Fizz Bomb Cola] Time For Some Fizz Bomb Burp Fuel! [He Drinks Some Soda, Then Belches SpongeBob's Pineapple Down, But Gary Falls Down While SpongeBob And Patrick Ran Away to The Rock]

===''Sea-Man Sponge Haters Club (7.2)''===

:'''Mrs.Puff''': Where are we Gonna Finish our Club Meeting Now?

==Episode 8==

===''Food PBBFT! Truck (8.1)''===

:'''Bert''': I Can't Understand your Accent [Raspberry]

===''Upturn Girls (8.2)''===

:'''Pearl''': Narlene, That's Lady Upturn!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Narlene''': Well, if the Shoe fits. [But When His Foot Sniffs out a Shoe, He Starts Getting Rid of It by Gnawing On it.]
:'''Shoe Manager''': You've Slaughtered our vessel!

==Episode 9==

===''Say 'Awww!' (9.1)''===

:'''Everyone''': [chanting] eat him, eat him! 
:'''SpongeBob''': I---Oh, I Know, I'll try the soothing power of music, [holds up a guitar] Ohhh.... [string plucks] Oh, rats... [the QT-P1 Robot transforms and roars at spongebob and eats him]
:'''Everyone''': Yay, you did it boy! woo-hoo!
:'''SpongeBob''': [Everyone Cheer For Him] A Suprise Party for Me?
:'''Plankton''': [he gets off of spongebob] this isn't a party, you boob.
:'''SpongeBob''': [he gets up] Well, Why did everyone cheer for me because i showed up?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Because with you, we can finally reach the &quot;uvuler&quot;. ALL RIGHT, LET'S TRY IT AGAIN PEOPLE! [everyone forms up while spongebob is on top of patrick star] 
:'''All''':: Oh, Oh, Whoa, Whoa, What's Going On? [Plankton Holds up everyone as spongebob reaches the uvula, the monster screeches and spits everyone back out]
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Plankton''': What do you mean i'm too short to ride this ride? I BUILT THIS!
:'''Manager''': Sorry, Buddy, rules is rules even for an adorable little guy like you.
:'''Plankton''': Real Cute.

===''Patrick The Mailman (9.2)''===

:'''Patrick''': I'm a Mailman Now! [Laughs]
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow! I've always wanted to be a mailman. It's like getting to be santa everyday, except sundays.
:'''Patrick''': Sorry, SpongeBob. But i'm the mailman now. 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, Okay
:'''Patrick''': But you can be my postal pal!
:'''SpongeBob''': Whee! Oh, Ah! [He Wears a Mailman Hat]
:'''Patrick''': Let's Get Mailing!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kevin''': Can i Help You?
:'''Both''': SPECIAL DELEIVERY!!!
:'''Kevin''': I Don't Want It!
:'''SpongeBob''': Maybe we should just move on to the next house.
:'''Patrick''': Pfft, No. I Am a Mailman, like the postal oath say, neither bunions or onions nor ditches or dangers will stop me from giving stuff to strangers.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kevin''': It's July!
:'''Patrick''': Just take a letter
:'''Kevin''': ''''&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;I DON'T WANT IT!!!'''
:'''Patrick''': &lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;Neither Onions or Bonions!!&lt;/span&gt; [He And Kevin Scream] Huh, Ooh... [He Eats up a Pie] Take Your Mail!!!
:'''Kevin''':HEY! [He and Patrick got into a dust cloud brawl]
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[At the Bikini Bottom Jail]''
:'''Mailman''': [Holds up A Big Envelope with spongebob and patrick inside] Here's today's mail, warden.
:'''Both''': Special Deleivery [laughs at the end of the episode]

==Episode 10==

===''Captain Pipsqueak (10.1)''===

===''Plane To Sea (10.2)''===

==Episode 11==

===''Squidferatu (11.1)''===

===''Slappy Days (11.2)''===

==Episode 12==

===''Welcome to Binary Bottom (12.1)''===

===''You're Going to Pay...Phone (12.2)''===

===''A Skin Wrinkle in Time (12.3)''===

==Episode 13==

===''Abandon Twits (13.1)''===

===''Wallhalla (13.2)''===

==Episode 14==

===''The Salty Sponge (14.1)''===

===''Karen For Spot (14.2)''===

==Episode 15==

===''TBA (15.1)''===

===''TBA (15.2)''===

==Episode 16==

===''TBA (16.1)''===

===''TBA (16.2)''===

==Episode 17==

===''TBA (17.1)''===

===''TBA (17.2)''===

===''TBA (17.3)''===

==Episode 18==

===''TBA (18.1)''===

===''TBA (18.2)''===

==Episode 19==

===''TBA (1.1)''===

===''TBA (19.2)''===

==External links==
{{Wikipedia|SpongeBob SquarePants (season 13)}}
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants seasons]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]]</text>
      <sha1>onte2l2fl12vuiodzhyusrlpmglgry0</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158666</id>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-27T19:45:32Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2600:1005:B018:2AD3:59F:605E:29DD:3397</ip>
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      <comment>/* Episode 15 */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="10631" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4|4]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] '''13''' [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 14|14]]([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie|a movie]], followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==

===''A Place for Pets (1.1)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Squidward?
:'''Squidward''': Yes, Mr.- '''''achoo!''' Krabs?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Why don't all these new pets have patties in front of them, I'm running a business, not a showdown.

===''Lockdown for Love (1.2)''===
:'''Karen''': Ah, I'm floating on air! A balloon ride, a candle-light dinner, and our wedding song is playing! Oh, this day is perfect.
:'''Plankton''': No, you're perfect, Karen. You're the best computer wife a copepod ever could have! [types on keyboard] Bon-bon?
:'''Karen''': Oh, I shouldn't.

==Episode 2==

===''Under the Small Top (2.1)'' ===
:'''SpongeBob''': I Sent this for me yesterday, and i'm still waiting.
:'''Announcer''': Bummer, Dude! 
:'''SpongeBob''': What?
:'''Announcer''': Bummer Dude action figures, they're miserable. [SpongeBob Turns off the TV]
:'''Mailman''': Hey, hey, hey spongebob, got a buncha great stuff for you today [holds up a catalog] The New &quot;Spatula Emporium&quot; Catalog
:'''SpongeBob''': No
:'''Mailman''': [Holds up a Check] Free Money from the sweepstakes you won.
:'''SpongeBob''': [Tears off a check] No.
:'''Mailman''': [Holds up a letter] A Letter from your family?
:'''SpongeBob''': [eats it up] No, how about packages, do you have any packages for me?
:'''Mailman''': Nope, No Packages, Sorry to Disappoint You, SpongeBob.

===''Squidward's Sick Daze (2.2)''===

==Episode 3==

===''Pat the Dog (3.1)''===

:'''Marvin''': Say Hello to &lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;BUTCHER!&lt;/span&gt;
===''Goofy Scoopers (3.2)''===
:'''French Narrator''': Zee Next Morning
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Goofy Goober Manager''': The Goofy Scoopers are Over, They're Too Fashioned, The Kids Want a New Sound.
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': ''''' A NEW SOUND?!'''
:'''Goofy Goober Manager''': That's Right, The Newest Invention was An Ice Cream DJ, But Then... Say Hello to DJ 2 Sc00pz! [DJ 2 Sc00pz Turns on the Music, the Kids Dance, and Patrick is dancing]
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, Stop with all of this Womps-Womps and Wups-Wups! Tell Me Where The Scoopers Are, Are They At The Coffee House? Or The Bikini Bottom Bowl? Or On A World Tour?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Clem''': Get me out of this crazy circus, i'm terrified of clowns [a scary clown appears when he opens a tent]

==Episode 4==

===''Something Narwhal This Way Comes (4.1)''===
:'''Patrick''': Hurry it up, other people need to use the whirlpool bathtub.
&lt;hr width50%&gt;
:''[Narlene Crafts A Wooden Toothpick]
:'''Narlene''':Yeah [Nobby Crafts A Wooden Turkey On A Plate]
:'''Nobby''': Ah, Thanksgiving. [SpongeBob Turns himself into a banjo, he plays himselfs and chases squidward away]
&lt;hr width50%&gt;
:'''Narlene''': What's the Bad News?

===''C.H.U.M.S (4.2)''===
:'''Plankton''': Today your Formula, Tommorow the World!

==''SpongeBob's Road To Christmas'' (Episode 5)==
:'''SpongeBob''': [Chuckles] Look at That, Gary. It's the Present I Left For Santa Last Christmas, Isn't That Nice? '''''THE PRESENT I LEFT FOR SANTA LAST CHRISTMAS?!''': He Never Got it, Oh... My Present is to Santa 212 Days Late. [Crying] Late, It's a Tradegy. I Can't Go On, [Crying] Nope, I'll Go On, BUT I CAN'T GO ON! [Continues Crying]

==Episode 6==

===''There Will Be Grease! (6.1)''===

:'''Sandy''': Well, I Do Like Breathing, I'll Take the Whole Case!

===''Potato Puff (6.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': See You Tommorow, Mrs. Puff!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Mrs. Puff''': Where is That Music Coming From?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Mrs. Puff''': Now i Can Catch up On my Stories
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Mrs. Puff''': [She Looks at the Window, Bikini Bottom Is Destroyed and Caught on Fire, the Anchor, the lighthouse, the Helicopter All Go Down, Cuts Back to Mrs.Puff] Um, SpongeBob? GAH, Hello?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Baby''': I'm Getting To Old For This... [He Carries Her Parents and Rube While The Thugs Crash into the Dynamite Factory]
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:''[A Potato is Cutted and Peeled off, cut in half, splats through the wall, the wig lands on it, the gravy truck gets knocked over, and it is covered on it, spongebob gets off the seat]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Mrs. Puff, You've Been Mashed! [Cries in Hysteric, Takes his eyes out, blows them and puts them back, continues wailing, but then mrs. puff returned]

==Episode 7==

===''The Big Bad Bubble Bass (7.1)''===
:'''Bubble Bass''': ScumBob, Putrick, You Blithering Fools Better Hand me Over Pigulon Right Now, Or I'll Chug, I'll Glug, And I'll Belch Your House Down!
:'''Patrick''': [Holding up Pigulon] Nobody's Home!
:'''Bubble Bass''': [Holds Up a Bottle of Fizz Bomb Cola] Time For Some Fizz Bomb Burp Fuel! [He Drinks Some Soda, Then Belches SpongeBob's Pineapple Down, But Gary Falls Down While SpongeBob And Patrick Ran Away to The Rock]

===''Sea-Man Sponge Haters Club (7.2)''===

:'''Mrs.Puff''': Where are we Gonna Finish our Club Meeting Now?

==Episode 8==

===''Food PBBFT! Truck (8.1)''===

:'''Bert''': I Can't Understand your Accent [Raspberry]

===''Upturn Girls (8.2)''===

:'''Pearl''': Narlene, That's Lady Upturn!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:'''Narlene''': Well, if the Shoe fits. [But When His Foot Sniffs out a Shoe, He Starts Getting Rid of It by Gnawing On it.]
:'''Shoe Manager''': You've Slaughtered our vessel!

==Episode 9==

===''Say 'Awww!' (9.1)''===

:'''Everyone''': [chanting] eat him, eat him! 
:'''SpongeBob''': I---Oh, I Know, I'll try the soothing power of music, [holds up a guitar] Ohhh.... [string plucks] Oh, rats... [the QT-P1 Robot transforms and roars at spongebob and eats him]
:'''Everyone''': Yay, you did it boy! woo-hoo!
:'''SpongeBob''': [Everyone Cheer For Him] A Suprise Party for Me?
:'''Plankton''': [he gets off of spongebob] this isn't a party, you boob.
:'''SpongeBob''': [he gets up] Well, Why did everyone cheer for me because i showed up?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Because with you, we can finally reach the &quot;uvuler&quot;. ALL RIGHT, LET'S TRY IT AGAIN PEOPLE! [everyone forms up while spongebob is on top of patrick star] 
:'''All''':: Oh, Oh, Whoa, Whoa, What's Going On? [Plankton Holds up everyone as spongebob reaches the uvula, the monster screeches and spits everyone back out]
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Plankton''': What do you mean i'm too short to ride this ride? I BUILT THIS!
:'''Manager''': Sorry, Buddy, rules is rules even for an adorable little guy like you.
:'''Plankton''': Real Cute.

===''Patrick The Mailman (9.2)''===

:'''Patrick''': I'm a Mailman Now! [Laughs]
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow! I've always wanted to be a mailman. It's like getting to be santa everyday, except sundays.
:'''Patrick''': Sorry, SpongeBob. But i'm the mailman now. 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, Okay
:'''Patrick''': But you can be my postal pal!
:'''SpongeBob''': Whee! Oh, Ah! [He Wears a Mailman Hat]
:'''Patrick''': Let's Get Mailing!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kevin''': Can i Help You?
:'''Both''': SPECIAL DELEIVERY!!!
:'''Kevin''': I Don't Want It!
:'''SpongeBob''': Maybe we should just move on to the next house.
:'''Patrick''': Pfft, No. I Am a Mailman, like the postal oath say, neither bunions or onions nor ditches or dangers will stop me from giving stuff to strangers.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kevin''': It's July!
:'''Patrick''': Just take a letter
:'''Kevin''': ''''&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;I DON'T WANT IT!!!'''
:'''Patrick''': &lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;Neither Onions or Bonions!!&lt;/span&gt; [He And Kevin Scream] Huh, Ooh... [He Eats up a Pie] Take Your Mail!!!
:'''Kevin''':HEY! [He and Patrick got into a dust cloud brawl]
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[At the Bikini Bottom Jail]''
:'''Mailman''': [Holds up A Big Envelope with spongebob and patrick inside] Here's today's mail, warden.
:'''Both''': Special Deleivery [laughs at the end of the episode]

==Episode 10==

===''Captain Pipsqueak (10.1)''===

===''Plane To Sea (10.2)''===

==Episode 11==

===''Squidferatu (11.1)''===

===''Slappy Days (11.2)''===

==Episode 12==

===''Welcome to Binary Bottom (12.1)''===

===''You're Going to Pay...Phone (12.2)''===

===''A Skin Wrinkle in Time (12.3)''===

==Episode 13==

===''Abandon Twits (13.1)''===

===''Wallhalla (13.2)''===

==Episode 14==

===''The Salty Sponge (14.1)''===

===''Karen For Spot (14.2)''===

==Episode 15==

===''Single Starfish Dad (15.1)''===

===''Friendly Schmendly (15.2)''===

==Episode 16==

===''TBA (16.1)''===

===''TBA (16.2)''===

==Episode 17==

===''TBA (17.1)''===

===''TBA (17.2)''===

===''TBA (17.3)''===

==Episode 18==

===''TBA (18.1)''===

===''TBA (18.2)''===

==Episode 19==

===''TBA (1.1)''===

===''TBA (19.2)''===

==External links==
{{Wikipedia|SpongeBob SquarePants (season 13)}}
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants seasons]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]]</text>
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  <page>
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    <ns>2</ns>
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      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="5174" xml:space="preserve">== Wikiquote pages ==
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{{user Wikipedia|Toadboy123}}&lt;br/&gt;
{{user en-N}}
&lt;/div&gt;

===Created===
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===Updated===
:[[Park Geun-hye]] ~ [[Robert Downey Jr.]] ~ [[Bo Xilai]] ~ [[Ming-Na Wen]] ~ [[Zhou Enlai]] ~ [[Zhu Rongji]] ~ [[Liu Chuanzhi]] ~ [[Kim Dae-jung]] ~ [[Moon Jae-in]] ~ [[Qin Gang]] ~ [[Margarita Simonyan]]

===Drafts===
:[[Beyblade]]</text>
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    <title>Space Jam: A New Legacy</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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'''''[[w:Space Jam: A New Legacy|Space Jam: A New Legacy]]''''' is an American live-action/animated sports comedy film produced by the [[w:Warner Animation Group|Warner Animation Group]] and featuring [[w:Looney Tunes|Looney Tunes]] characters. It is a standalone sequel to 1996's ''[[Space Jam]]''. The film stars [[LeBron James|LeBron James as himself]], [[Don Cheadle]], Khris Davis, {{w|Sonequa Martin-Green}}, with the ''Looney Tunes'' voices of {{w|Jeff Bergman}}, {{w|Eric Bauza}}, and [[Zendaya]] as Lola.

:''Directed by [[w:Malcolm D. Lee|Malcolm D. Lee]]. Written by Juel Taylor, Tony Rettenmaier, Keenan Coogler, [[w:Terence Nance|Terence Nance]], Jesse Gordon and Celeste Ballard.''

{{film-stub}}

== [[LeBron James]] ==
* I'm a cartoon?
* I bet [[Will Smith]] ain't got to deal with this.
* What in ''[[w:The Matrix (franchise)|The Matrix]]'' hell?
* ''[as [[w:Michael B. Jordan|&quot;Michael Jordan&quot;]] enters the locker room]'' Come on, man, that's Michael B. Jordan. The actor.
* Aahhh! I'm shorter than [[w:Kevin Hart|Kevin Hart]]!
* I need to assemble an elite team to help get my son back.
* I'm [[w:Robin (character)|Robin]]?!
* I've been coaching y'all this whole time! Sylvester over here getting the wrong MJ, Granny's out here having a martini on halftime, and Taz might as well be playing for the other team!
* ''[Sees The Brow from Goon Squad]'' Dang, what did they do to my man, [[w:Anthony Davis|A.D.]]?
* I like to remind myself who I'm playing for. My family. And right now, it's all about Dom.
* ''[remembering the words Dom said to him]'' &quot;You never let me just… do me.&quot;
* Bugs… Time to do what you guys do best.
* ''[happily; to Bugs, who ended up in the real world]'' It's good to see you, buddy.

== [[w:Bugs Bunny|Bugs Bunny]] ==
* ''[repeated line; to LeBron]'' What's up, doc?
* You need a dream team.
* What brings you to Tune World, doc?
* So, you want me, a talking cartoon bunny, to play with you, an NBA superstar, in a high-stakes basketball game? ''[To the camera]'' [[w:Space Jam|Sounds awfully familiar]]
* ''[after Al-G changes the Tunes from 2D to 3D]'' Al-G...THIS MEANS WAR.
* If we're going out, we're going out Looney!
* It's on.

== Al-G Rhythm ==
* Welcome, King James. I am the king of this domain.
* I'm Al-G Rhythm. And as you might have guessed, I'm an algorithm here at Warner Bros. The studio behind all the classics. But now, it's time for our greatest creation yet, Warner 3000. This will revolutionize the entire entertainment industry, and we want you to be on our team, King James. Now, we know you're busy, but we can make it very easy for you. Because our brand new Warner 3000 technology will scan you right into the movies. Oh, it's like looking into a mirror, huh, LeBron? Think about it, ''[[Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice|Batman vs. LeBron]]''. ''[[Game of Thrones|LeBron of Thrones]]''. ''[[Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (film)|LeBron and the Chamber of Secrets]]''. The possibilities are endless. You'll be the king of Warner Bros. That's the power of Warner 3000. Say yes, LeBron, and together, we'll make mind-blowing entertainment forever.
* This is the Warner Bros. Serververse.
* The only way you're getting your son back is if you and I play a little basketball.
* Pete, send this clown to the rejects.
* Welcome to the Space Jam!
* ''[from trailer]'' Whoo!
* Well, if it isn't the old-news Looney Tunes. Looking just as washed up as ever. You know what? I think it’s time for an upgrade. ''[upgrades the Looney Tunes into their 3D styles]'' Oh, they’re alive! Alive! Oh, yeah. You're looking sharp, Looney Tunes.
* Let's get some butts in these seats!
* Introducing the Goon Squad!
* Yo, King! You're about to lose your family, your friends, those Tunes, and everything you love.
* Oh, and I almost forgot, all of the Tunes will be deleted, so, pfft!
* ''[as Granny beats Chronos]'' What the AARP was that??
* ''[last words]'' Oh, this is not how I wanted to go out!

== [[w:Daffy Duck|Daffy Duck]] ==
*An orphanage. of course... ''
* Sam, shoot the ball. ''[Yosemite Sam literally shoots the ball with his two guns, making the other Looney Tune characters run away. When the smoke clears, Daffy's bill, bullet-riddled, is on the other side of his head]'' Let's try that again, shall we?
* ''[sees his new 3D self in a suit]'' I look expensive.
* Well, that happened.
* I'm not a betting duck, but my money's on the other team.
* We need a boost, a pick-me-up. ''[turns his beak back on his face]'' A secret weapon.

== [[w:Lola Bunny|Lola Bunny]] ==
* We'll get your son back. I promise.
* ''[after being changed into her 3D style]'' What in the world?
* Come on, guys. The Tune Squad doesn't give up.
* I got you, Bron!
* I got hops!

== Others ==
* '''Kamiyah James:''' You gotta win this game and get our son back.

* '''Dom James:''' You never let me do what I wanna do. You never let me just… do me.

* '''Granny:''' I'm going old-school on his butt.

* '''Game Commentator 1:''' Looks like Wile E.'s in the multiplier.

* '''Foghorn Leghorn:''' ''[as Al-G changes him into his 3D style]'' I say, I say, cock-a-doodle-doo… not do that.

* '''Tweety:''' I got her! I got her! ''[gets squished by Arachnneka]'' She got me.

* '''White Mamba:''' What's up?

* '''Speedy Gonzales:''' Adios, goons!

* '''Granny:''' Can't a lady check her Twitter?

== Cast ==
=== Live-Action Characters ===
* '''[[LeBron James|LeBron James — Himself]]'''
* '''[[Don Cheadle]]''' — Al-G Rhythm
* '''Cedric Joe''' — Dom James
* '''Khris Davis''' — Malik
* '''[[w:Sonequa Martin-Green|Sonequa Martin-Green]]''' — Kamiyah James

=== Character Voices ===
* '''[[w:Jeff Bergman|Jeff Bergman]]''' — [[w:Bugs Bunny|Bugs Bunny]], [[w:Sylvester the Cat|Sylvester]], [[w:Yosemite Sam|Yosemite Sam]], [[w:Yogi Bear|Yogi Bear]], [[w:Fred Flintstone|Fred Flintstone]]
* '''[[Zendaya]]''' — [[w:Lola Bunny|Lola Bunny]]
* '''[[Gabriel Iglesias|Gabriel &quot;Fluffy&quot; Iglesias]]''' — [[w:Speedy Gonzales|Speedy Gonzales]]
* '''[[w:Eric Bauza|Eric Bauza]]''' — [[w:Daffy Duck|Daffy Duck]], [[w:Porky Pig|Porky Pig]], [[w:Foghorn Leghorn|Foghorn Leghorn]], [[w:Elmer Fudd|Elmer Fudd]], [[w:Marvin the Martian|Marvin the Martian]]
* '''[[w:Candi Milo|Candi Milo]]''' — [[w:Granny (Looney Tunes)|Granny]]
* '''[[w:Bob Bergen|Bob Bergen]]''' — [[w:Tweety|Tweety Bird]]
* '''[[w:Fred Tatasciore|Fred Tatasciore]]&lt;br&gt;[[w:Jim Cummings|Jim Cummings]]''' — [[w:Tasmanian Devil (Looney Tunes)|Taz]]
* '''[[w:Rosario Dawson|Rosario Dawson]]''' — [[w:Wonder Woman|Wonder Woman]]
* '''[[w:Justin Roiland|Justin Roiland]]''' — Rick and Morty

==== Additional Voices ====
* '''[[w:Kimberly Brooks|Kimberly D. Brooks]]'''

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|id=3554046|title=Space Jam: A New Legacy}}

[[Category:2021 films]]
[[Category:Looney Tunes films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy films]]
[[Category:American films with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Films about rabbits and hares]]
[[Category:Basketball films]]
[[Category:Sports comedy films]]</text>
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      <id>3158683</id>
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'''''[[w:Space Jam: A New Legacy|Space Jam: A New Legacy]]''''' is an American live-action/animated sports comedy film produced by the [[w:Warner Animation Group|Warner Animation Group]] and featuring [[w:Looney Tunes|Looney Tunes]] characters. It is a standalone sequel to 1996's ''[[Space Jam]]''. The film stars [[LeBron James|LeBron James as himself]], [[Don Cheadle]], Khris Davis, {{w|Sonequa Martin-Green}}, with the ''Looney Tunes'' voices of {{w|Jeff Bergman}}, {{w|Eric Bauza}}, and [[Zendaya]] as Lola.

:''Directed by [[w:Malcolm D. Lee|Malcolm D. Lee]]. Written by Juel Taylor, Tony Rettenmaier, Keenan Coogler, [[w:Terence Nance|Terence Nance]], Jesse Gordon and Celeste Ballard.''

{{film-stub}}

== [[LeBron James]] ==
* I'm a cartoon?
* I bet [[Will Smith]] ain't got to deal with this.
* What in ''[[w:The Matrix (franchise)|The Matrix]]'' hell?
* ''[as [[w:Michael B. Jordan|&quot;Michael Jordan&quot;]] enters the locker room]'' Come on, man, that's Michael B. Jordan. The actor.
* Aahhh! I'm shorter than [[w:Kevin Hart|Kevin Hart]]!
* I need to assemble an elite team to help get my son back.
* I'm [[w:Robin (character)|Robin]]?!
* Is that Harry Potter world?
* I've been coaching y'all this whole time. Sylvester over here getting the wrong MJ, Granny's out here having a martini on halftime, and Taz might as well be playing for the other team.
* ''[Sees The Brow from Goon Squad]'' Dang, what did they do to my man, [[w:Anthony Davis|A.D.]]?
* I like to remind myself who I'm playing for. My family. And right now, it's all about Dom.
* ''[remembering the words Dom said to him]'' &quot;You never let me just… do me.&quot;
* Bugs… Time to do what you guys do best.
* ''[happily; to Bugs, who ended up in the real world]'' It's good to see you, buddy.

== [[w:Bugs Bunny|Bugs Bunny]] ==
* ''[repeated line; to LeBron]'' What's up, doc?
* You need a dream team.
* What brings you to Tune World, doc?
* So, you want me, a talking cartoon bunny, to play with you, an NBA superstar, in a high-stakes basketball game? ''[To the camera]'' [[w:Space Jam|Sounds awfully familiar]]
* ''[after Al-G changes the Tunes from 2D to 3D]'' Al-G...THIS MEANS WAR.
* If we're going out, we're going out Looney!
* It's on.

== Al-G Rhythm ==
* Welcome, King James. I am the king of this domain.
* I'm Al-G Rhythm. And as you might have guessed, I'm an algorithm here at Warner Bros. The studio behind all the classics. But now, it's time for our greatest creation yet, Warner 3000. This will revolutionize the entire entertainment industry, and we want you to be on our team, King James. Now, we know you're busy, but we can make it very easy for you. Because our brand new Warner 3000 technology will scan you right into the movies. Oh, it's like looking into a mirror, huh, LeBron? Think about it, ''[[Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice|Batman vs. LeBron]]''. ''[[Game of Thrones|LeBron of Thrones]]''. ''[[Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (film)|LeBron and the Chamber of Secrets]]''. The possibilities are endless. You'll be the king of Warner Bros. That's the power of Warner 3000. Say yes, LeBron, and together, we'll make mind-blowing entertainment forever.
* This is the Warner Bros. Serververse.
* The only way you're getting your son back is if you and I play a little basketball.
* Pete, send this clown to the rejects.
* Welcome to the Space Jam!
* ''[from trailer]'' Whoo!
* Well, if it isn't the old-news Looney Tunes. Looking just as washed up as ever. You know what? I think it’s time for an upgrade. ''[upgrades the Looney Tunes into their 3D styles]'' Oh, they’re alive! Alive! Oh, yeah. You're looking sharp, Looney Tunes.
* Let's get some butts in these seats!
* Introducing the Goon Squad!
* Yo, King! You're about to lose your family, your friends, those Tunes, and everything you love.
* Oh, and I almost forgot, all of the Tunes will be deleted, so, pfft!
* ''[as Granny beats Chronos]'' What the AARP was that??
* ''[last words]'' Oh, this is not how I wanted to go out!

== [[w:Daffy Duck|Daffy Duck]] ==
*An orphanage. of course... ''
* Sam, shoot the ball. ''[Yosemite Sam literally shoots the ball with his two guns, making the other Looney Tune characters run away. When the smoke clears, Daffy's bill, bullet-riddled, is on the other side of his head]'' Let's try that again, shall we?
* ''[sees his new 3D self in a suit]'' I look expensive.
* Well, that happened.
* I'm not a betting duck, but my money's on the other team.
* We need a boost, a pick-me-up. ''[turns his beak back on his face]'' A secret weapon.

== [[w:Lola Bunny|Lola Bunny]] ==
* We'll get your son back. I promise.
* ''[after being changed into her 3D style]'' What in the world?
* Come on, guys. The Tune Squad doesn't give up.
* I got you, Bron!
* I got hops!

== Others ==
* '''Kamiyah James:''' You gotta win this game and get our son back.

* '''Dom James:''' You never let me do what I wanna do. You never let me just… do me.

* '''Granny:''' I'm going old-school on his butt.

* '''Game Commentator 1:''' Looks like Wile E.'s in the multiplier.

* '''Foghorn Leghorn:''' ''[as Al-G changes him into his 3D style]'' I say, I say, cock-a-doodle-doo… not do that.

* '''Tweety:''' I got her! I got her! ''[gets squished by Arachnneka]'' She got me.

* '''White Mamba:''' What's up?

* '''Speedy Gonzales:''' Adios, goons!

* '''Granny:''' Can't a lady check her Twitter?

== Cast ==
=== Live-Action Characters ===
* '''[[LeBron James|LeBron James — Himself]]'''
* '''[[Don Cheadle]]''' — Al-G Rhythm
* '''Cedric Joe''' — Dom James
* '''Khris Davis''' — Malik
* '''[[w:Sonequa Martin-Green|Sonequa Martin-Green]]''' — Kamiyah James

=== Character Voices ===
* '''[[w:Jeff Bergman|Jeff Bergman]]''' — [[w:Bugs Bunny|Bugs Bunny]], [[w:Sylvester the Cat|Sylvester]], [[w:Yosemite Sam|Yosemite Sam]], [[w:Yogi Bear|Yogi Bear]], [[w:Fred Flintstone|Fred Flintstone]]
* '''[[Zendaya]]''' — [[w:Lola Bunny|Lola Bunny]]
* '''[[Gabriel Iglesias|Gabriel &quot;Fluffy&quot; Iglesias]]''' — [[w:Speedy Gonzales|Speedy Gonzales]]
* '''[[w:Eric Bauza|Eric Bauza]]''' — [[w:Daffy Duck|Daffy Duck]], [[w:Porky Pig|Porky Pig]], [[w:Foghorn Leghorn|Foghorn Leghorn]], [[w:Elmer Fudd|Elmer Fudd]], [[w:Marvin the Martian|Marvin the Martian]]
* '''[[w:Candi Milo|Candi Milo]]''' — [[w:Granny (Looney Tunes)|Granny]]
* '''[[w:Bob Bergen|Bob Bergen]]''' — [[w:Tweety|Tweety Bird]]
* '''[[w:Fred Tatasciore|Fred Tatasciore]]&lt;br&gt;[[w:Jim Cummings|Jim Cummings]]''' — [[w:Tasmanian Devil (Looney Tunes)|Taz]]
* '''[[w:Rosario Dawson|Rosario Dawson]]''' — [[w:Wonder Woman|Wonder Woman]]
* '''[[w:Justin Roiland|Justin Roiland]]''' — Rick and Morty

==== Additional Voices ====
* '''[[w:Kimberly Brooks|Kimberly D. Brooks]]'''

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|id=3554046|title=Space Jam: A New Legacy}}

[[Category:2021 films]]
[[Category:Looney Tunes films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy films]]
[[Category:American films with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Films about rabbits and hares]]
[[Category:Basketball films]]
[[Category:Sports comedy films]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Victor Gao</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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      <id>3158804</id>
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      <contributor>
        <username>Frank Kaurismäki</username>
        <id>3130250</id>
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      <text bytes="5218" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Victor_Gao,_Vice_President,_Center_for_China_&amp;_Globalization,_China_-_cropped.jpg|thumb|Victor Gao in 2019]]
'''[[w:Victor Gao|Victor Zhikai Gao]]''' (born [[1962]]) ('''Simplified Chinese''': 高志凯; '''Pinyin''': Gāo Zhìkǎi) is a [[China|Chinese]] international relations expert and translator. He is a Director of the China National Association of International Studies. He is best known for his position as the late paramount leader [[Deng Xiaoping]]'s translator and currently an international expert on Chinese issues. Gao is the vice president of the Center for China and Globalization.

==Quotes==
*In Afghanistan, in Korea, in Iraq, wherever the Americans find themselves in a war – the Australians are on the Americans’ side, as if the Australians do no have any brain power left – as if you only have your muscles.
**[https://www.news.com.au/technology/innovation/military/brainless-australia-a-target-for-nuclear-war-warns-top-china-expert/news-story/4652ab802a01b677c6df6de51479bd8d &quot;‘Brainless’ Australia a target for ‘nuclear war’, warns top China expert&quot; in ''News.co.au'] (21 September 2021)

*Listen to me – the reunification of Taiwan will happen by peaceful means preferably, and by non-peaceful means if necessary. No country will be able to deprive China’s mission of national reunification.
**[https://www.news.com.au/technology/innovation/military/brainless-australia-a-target-for-nuclear-war-warns-top-china-expert/news-story/4652ab802a01b677c6df6de51479bd8d &quot;‘Brainless’ Australia a target for ‘nuclear war’, warns top China expert&quot; in ''News.co.au'] (21 September 2021)

*We can see for sure Trump, for his four years, has been very tough on China. But he has not served the fundamental interests of the American people.
**[https://www.cbsnews.com/news/joe-biden-china-beijing-relations-xinjiang-hong-kong-taiwan/ &quot;Will Biden ease the sky-high tension between the U.S. and China?&quot; in ''CBS''] (12 January 2021)

*We need to guard against the danger of overplay of this campaign of common prosperity. I personally do not want to see a situation where, for example, the pursuit of common prosperity will hurt innovation, creativity and entrepreneurship, because that is exactly what China needs now as well as in the years to come.
**[https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2021-09-07/xi-s-common-prosperity-drive-triggers-a-rare-debate-in-china &quot;Xi’s ‘Common Prosperity’ Drive Triggers a Rare Debate in China&quot; in ''Bloomberg''] (7 September 2021)

*In Xinjiang there is no denying there is an increasing level of radicalization. At different stages of radicalization, you need to come up with strategies to de-radicalize the population in Xinjiang.
**[https://www.dw.com/en/this-is-not-a-concentration-camp-analyst-victor-gao-on-chinas-uighur-prisons/a-51694696 &quot;'This is not a concentration camp': Analyst Victor Gao on China's Uighur prisons&quot; in ''DW News''] (18 December 2019)

*10% of the 23 million Taiwanese are in fact of Japanese descent, and most separatists are among them. Once we get Taiwan back, we’ll have to ask everyone’s origins. Those who have a Japanese ancestor will have to pledge loyalty to reunification, otherwise we’ll help them leave.
**[https://www.lemonde.fr/international/article/2021/10/11/la-chine-et-taiwan-plus-eloignees-que-jamais_6097869_3210.html &quot;La Chine et Taïwan, plus éloignés que jamais&quot; in ''Le Monde''] (11 October 2021)

*Ironically, there is only one logical conclusion amidst all the geopolitical confusion created by Washington's maximum confrontation against Beijing: rather than &quot;Destined to War,&quot; China and America are actually destined to peace, and the inevitable peace is the true and real mega-trend between China and America.
**[https://news.cgtn.com/news/2021-07-05/The-inevitable-peace-11E4jcIRQxq/index.html &quot;The inevitable peace&quot; in ''CGTN''] (5 July 2021)

*Everyone with decency of mind and conscience can see the physical transformation of China. The spiritual transformation of China, however, is more difficult to see and understand. From the Chinese perspective, pragmatism, realism, constant reform and innovation, no complacency, no self-indulgence, a sense of urgency and a sense of crisis, perseverance and never giving-up -- all these are important qualities driving the Chinese nation forward over the past 40 years.   
**[https://news.cgtn.com/news/3d3d514f33637a4d31457a6333566d54/index.html &quot;Opinion: 40 years, China has blazed a trail on a new development roadmap&quot; in ''CGTN''] (25 December 2018)

*Lifting hundreds of millions of Chinese people out of poverty has been a gigantic epic movement in human history. Through a dazzling flurry of political and economic reforms and audacious opening to the outside world, hundreds of millions of people in China shook off the shackles of poverty. 
**[https://news.cgtn.com/news/3d3d674d3151544f7a457a6333566d54/index.html &quot;Opinion: Leave no one behind in poverty&quot; in ''CGTN''] (21 October 2018)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commons category}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Gao, Victor}}
[[Category:1962 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Diplomats]]
[[Category:Scholars and academics]]
[[Category:Translators]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Keenese Katisenge-Tizhani</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>242507</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158787</id>
      <parentid>3087693</parentid>
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      <text bytes="3510" xml:space="preserve">'''Keenese Katisenge-Tizhani''' is a Business Development Professional with a Bachelor of Business Administration- Marketing from the University of Botswana, Post Graduate Certificate in Enterprise Risk Management from the Botswana Accountancy College, Certificate in Digital Transformation from Darden School of Business and Prince 2 Foundation Certificate in Project Management from PeopleCert. Katisenge-Tizhani is a Board Member for the Botswana National Sport Commission, representing Women and Sport Botswana. She also serves as a Board Member (Vice President) for The Association For International Sport For All (TAFISA). Katisenge-Tizhani has also served in different capacities in sport from Additional Member, Secretary General and Public Relations Director for the Botswana Chess Federation, Head of Marketing for Gaborone International Meet, the chairperson for Women in Sports [[Botswana]], Gaborone Region, Member of the Botswana Football Association Club Licensing Committee, Member of the Botswana Volleyball Federation Marketing Commission and Chairperson of Botswana Sport Volunteers Movement (SVM). Katisenge-Tizhani is also founder of Limitless Minds Chess Academy. In 2015 she won the Sports Administrator of the year award at the Botswana Sport Awards, and in the same year, she represented Botswana and Africa at the United Nations Office for Sport Development and Peace Youth Leadership Summit. As a professional, Katisenge-Tizhani was also a nominee for the Diamond Service Awards. 

== Quotes ==

* Further, as a game of strategy, a chess mind develops the capacity to predict consequences on the board and life scenarios, thus becoming an important element in development and empowerment of children to become responsible in their youth and adult life.
** [https://www.mmegi.bw/sport/mabutsane-chess-programme-ends/news &quot;Mabutsane Chess Programme Ends&quot;], Monday, June 21, 2021, Retrieved 30 October 2021

* We continue to support young athletes in rural areas with donation of chess books, chess sets and provide training where Covid-19 Regulations allow.
** [https://www.sundaystandard.info/chess-soothes-the-mind-from-pandemic-woes/ &quot;Chess soothes the mind from pandemic woes&quot;], Sunday Standard 24 March 2021, Retrieved 30 October 2021

* The game of chess is an important activity to engage in during this period. It can be used as a form of therapy which we all need during this pandemic.
** [https://www.sundaystandard.info/chess-soothes-the-mind-from-pandemic-woes/ &quot;Chess soothes the mind from pandemic woes&quot;], Sunday Standard 24 March 2021, Retrieved 30 October 2021

* In all honesty, being a woman and a mother in sport is challenging and demanding. It requires a lot of focus and prioritization.
** https://www.sundaystandard.info/women-need-strength-of-sorts-to-achieve-in-sport/ &quot;Women need strength of sorts to achieve in sport&quot;], 12th May 2021, Retrieved 30 October 2021

* One needs a strong support structure in order to be able to continue volunteering in sport, especially as a mother and a working wife.
** [https://www.sundaystandard.info/women-need-strength-of-sorts-to-achieve-in-sport/ &quot;Women need strength of sorts to achieve in sport&quot;], 12th May 2021, Retrieved 30 October 2021

{{DEFAULTSORT:Katisenge-Tizhani, Keenese}}
[[Category:Women in sports]]
[[Category:Chess coaches]]
[[Category:African women]]
[[Category:People from Botswana]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Articles with no corresponding English Wikipedia article]]
[[Category:Founders]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes</title>
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'''''[[w:The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes|The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes]]''''', also known simply as '''''House of Ashes''''', is an interactive drama survival horror game developed by [[w:Supermassive Games|Supermassive Games]] and published by [[w:Bandai Namco Entertainment|Bandai Namco Entertainment]] for the platforms [[w:Windows|Windows]], [[w:PlayStation 4|PlayStation 4]], [[w:PlayStation 5|PlayStation 5]], [[w:Xbox One|Xbox One]], and [[w:Xbox Series X and Series S|Xbox Series X/S]].

== Rachel King ==
* &quot;Queen Bitch&quot;, huh? Sounds about right. Someone's got to wear the crown.
* ''[While stuck with Clarice in the blood pit]'' I met Eric at climbing class. I can get us out of here.
* ''[To Clarice]'' It's not easy being Queen Bitch. You think I got where I am with a soft word and a warm smile? ''['''Clarice:''' And here's me thinking you Langley types grew up on Easy Street.]'' Easy Street? I had to graft to get here. You think it bothers me what people call me? I wear that shit like a fucking badge of honor. They've no idea the shithill I've climbed to just get where I am right now.
* ''[If Eric let go of Rachel after a shootout with Dar]'' You weren't so loyal when you cut the rope.
* ''[If Eric refused to let go of Rachel]'' You held on. I didn't.

== Eric King ==
* ''[In a car with Rachel on [[w:The_Dark_Pictures_Anthology:_Little_Hope|Little Hope]]]'' Semper fi! It means &quot;always loyal&quot;. ''['''Rachel:''' [Playfully] Get your feet off my dash, you hillbilly!]''
* ''[Observing a statuette of Pazuzu that he picked up]'' ''['''Rachel:''' It's Pazuzu.]'' Pazu-who? ''['''Rachel:''' Pazuzu. Do you not watch horror movies?]'' You should know the answer to that.
* After the accident, I was at the lowest I'd ever been. I couldn't cope; couldn't function. And when I needed you the most, Rachel, when I needed you by my side? You left me. Caelus pulled me out of that pit.

== Salim Othman ==
* ''[If Jason does not shoot a running shepherd]'' No more killing.
* My father once told me if something looks like shit and smells like shit, you don't have to taste it to know that it's shit.
* In Sumerian myth, they say the souls of the dead went deep underground to the House of Ashes where they lived on dust, plagued by the demons of the underworld.
* ''[nervously]'' I feel like our uniforms are getting in the way of what could be a beautiful relationship!
* ''[Discussing how to fight against the vampires]'' We need a plan. ''['''Jason''': We fuck those things up and get the fuck out.]'' ''[Mockingly]'' Good plan!
* ''[Reading about the bat monsters' origins]'' Then a tragedy fell upon them. Their great empire collapsed. Their music felt silent. And they turned on each other. What happened? A sickness? A madness? What turned them from architects into killers? Whatever it is, it twisted them. Now they're creatures of hate. Animals! Dead things! No one left to kill, so they slept and waited... They waited for us.
* Listen. There was a man once who built his house on the bank of a river. When the floods came, his wall washed away. When the drought came, the water dried up and the man was thirsty. All day, the insects bit this man's flesh. Yet each night, he says to his wife &quot;we have all the fish we can eat!&quot; Your people chose this war, Jason.
* ''[After the other survivors chant &quot;oorah&quot;]'' Oorah...? Hehe, hehehe... ''[Bursts into laughter]'' OORAH! ''[Continues to laugh]'' ''[Abruptly returns to a poker face]''

== Jason Kolchek ==
* Do you believe in God? ''['''Eric:''' Absolutely not.]'' Well, start believing. We are under attack by... I don't know what. You wouldn't believe me even if I tried. Hell, I don't believe it and I was there.
* Teach you to mess with a marine.
* ''[If Jason chooses to be resentful of the Iraqi people]'' I don't remember them showing much respect for New York City, couple years back. ''['''Nick:''' So now all brown people gotta suffer, that it?]'' That's not what I meant. You know me better than that.
* ''[If Jason has a strong relationship with Salim]'' I stepped back into that hell to save Salim. That man was worth five of you people. Semper FUCKING fi!
* ''[If Jason is not trusting of Salim]'' ''['''Salim:''' You're going to need me a hell of a lot more than I'll need you.]'' Is that so? ''[smirks]'' ''['''Salim:''' [puts hand on Jason's shoulder] I'll hold your hand, but I'm not cuddling you.]'' ''[Jason shoves Salim's hand away]'' ''['''Salim:''' [raising hands] I have to draw a line somewhere!]''
* ''[About Salim]'' Single parent. Tough fucking gig.

== Nick Kay ==
* ''[If he and Eric are hostile and are the only survivors]'' They're all fucking dead. And you and me, we're fucking next! ''['''Eric:''' Oh, shit! Here I was, thinking I was in the presence of a Marine. Turns out it's a second grader!]'' You fucking pencilneck! If you did your job properly, we wouldn't even be down here. ''['''Eric:''' Yeah, you go ahead and blame everyone but yourself! The hell did Rachel see in you anyway?]'' Everything she couldn't find in you.
* Wonder how many places like this we've bombed without a second thought... ''['''Jason:''' These relics are better off in the dust.]''
* What's your problem? These people didn't ask for this war.

== Clarice Stokes ==
* I can see you just fine from here, thanks.
* ''[After Jason calls Rachel a queen bitch in front of Eric]'' Nice work, hotshot!
* I hope the bandwidth can cope with the data. ''['''Jason''': I'll leave the techy stuff to you.]'' And I'll leave the heavy lifting up to you.
* You're talking to a scientist. There's no such thing as luck. You should be thankful I was there to help you.
* ''[Looking at a religious symbol on a cave wall]'' These people must have been in the valley a long time. 
* ''[About Target LZ]'' I don't know about you guys but something doesn't feel right about this place. ''['''Merwin:''' Oh yeah? So is that this, uh, women's intuition I keep hearing about?]'' Yeah, you wanna find out what happens when you piss it off?
* What is this place anyway? Looks like an old ballroom. ''['''Jason''': That's exactly what it is. I guess [[w:Saddam Hussein|Saddam]] liked to get down on the dance floor.]'' Do you think if his dance partner stepped on his foot, it'd be an instant &quot;off with her head&quot;? ''['''Jason''': It wouldn't surprise me.]'' Maybe when we're done, I'll let you spin me around a little.
* ''[Convulses and coughs profusely]'' ''['''Rachel''': [Steps back] Clarice? What did that thing do to you?]'' ''[In agony]'' Please... Please don't leave me down here alone!
* ''['''Rachel''': You okay?]'' Yeah, just need a minute. ''['''Rachel''': A minute isn't gonna kill us.]'' Until it does.
* ''['''Rachel''': God you look terrible.]'' ''[Sarcastically]'' Gee, thanks Rachel. You ever think about going into motivational speaking?
* ''[About the medkit back at the temple]'' Do you really believe those medicines will help me?
* ''[If Rachel is honest about the infection's severity]'' If it happens... if I turn... you have to kill me. ''['''Rachel:''' If you turn, it won't be you I'm killing.]''
* ''[If Rachel asks about Clarice's profession]'' ''['''Rachel:''' So, why did you become a physicist? I mean, you don't-]'' I don't look the type...? ''['''Rachel:''' Well, you don't.]'' Oh should I be wearing nerd clothes? ''['''Rachel:''' ...that's not what I meant. You just don't strike me as one.]'' Science was the furthest thing from what everybody thought I'd do. Something just for me. ''['''Rachel:''' I know a little something about that.]''

== Cast ==
* [[w:Ashley Tisdale|Ashley Tisdale]] as Rachel King
* Alex Gravenstein as Eric King
* Moe Jeudy-Lamour as Nick Kay
* Paul Zinno as Jason Kolchek
* [[w:Nick E. Tarabay|Nick E. Tarabay]] as Salim Othman
* Clare McConnell as Clarice Stokes
* Alex Mallari Jr. as Nathan Merwin
* Sammy Azero as Joey Gomez
* Nabeel El Khafif as Dar Basri
* Sami Karim as [[w:Naram-Sin of Akkad|Naram-Sin]]
* Zaydun Khalaf as Balathu
* Waleed Hammad as Kurum

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
* {{Official website|https://www.thedarkpictures.com/house-of-ashes}}
[[Category:Survival horror games]]
[[Category:PlayStation 4 video games]]
[[Category:Xbox One video games]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>The Loud House/Season 6</title>
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----
:'''Seasons:''' [[The Loud House/Season 1|1]] [[The Loud House/Season 2|2]] [[The Loud House/Season 3|3]] [[The Loud House/Season 4|4]] [[The Loud House/Season 5|5]] [[The Loud House/Season 6|6]] ([[The Loud House|Main]]) | '''[[The Casagrandes|Casagrandes]]''' (Seasons [[The Casagrandes/Season 1|1]] [[The Casagrandes/Season 2|2]] [[The Casagrandes/Season 3|3]])
----

'''''{{w|The Loud House}}''''' (2016–present) is an American [[w:animated television series|animated television series]] created by [[w:Chris Savino|Chris Savino]] for [[w:Nickelodeon|Nickelodeon]]. The series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of an accident-prone boy named Lincoln Loud, who survives as the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.

==''Episode 1''==

===''Present Danger (1.1)''===
:'''Gus''': Lincoln! Bravo, buddy, but you gotta get off the table.
:'''Customer''': You have ruined my wife's garlic knots!
:'''Lincoln''': Sorry! ''[gets off the table; to the viewers]'' Well, today's a really big day. It's my 12th birthday! Feels like I've been 11 forever, so this year, I'm doing it in style. David Steele-style. I asked all my friends to come to Gus's dressed as their favorite MALICE villains. You have Golden Toe, Blowfish, Odd Bob, and Patty Whack. So far, it's been great. One moment… Nothing but net. And now that we've finished playing Agents and MALICE, it's time for…
:'''Rita''': Presents!
:'''Lincoln''': Yes!
:'''Liam''': Wahoo!
:'''Zach''': Rusty, the invitation said only Lincoln was supposed to dress up as David Steele.
:'''Rusty''': Sorry, dude. It's not my fault I look amazing in a tuxedo. Besides, check out the Loud seniors.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Well, thanks for coming, everyone. Today is a special day for a special- ''[notices his dad crying]'' Dad, you know if you cry, I'm gonna- ''[he and Leonard both break down sobbing in each other's arms]''
:'''Rita''': Lincoln, I think what your dad was ''trying'' to say is that 12 is a Loud family landmark. He and Gramps have a special present for you. Your great-grandfather gave it to Gramps when he was 12, and Gramps gave it to ''your'' dad when ''he'' was 12.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Room for one more?
:'''Scoots''': Doesn't look like there's room for one more. Because of your dang party, I'm stuck with these two bozos at the loaner's table.
:'''Flip''': Hey, you ain't no picnic yourself there, lady! ''[eats the pizza]''
:'''Chandler''': What do you want there anyway, Lincoln Lame?
:'''Lincoln''': ''[takes a seat]'' Someone nabbed one of my birthday presents, and I think one of you is the culprit. ''[takes out a deck of cards]'' The game is Go Fish. If I win, you have to turn out your pockets.
:'''Chandler''': And what's in it for us?
:'''Lincoln''': If you win, you get to keep all my… ''[close-up on his face] Presents.'' So, are you feeling lucky?
:'''Chandler''': You're on!

===''Stressed for the Part (1.2)''===
:'''Luan''': ''[practicing her moos]'' Moo! Moo! ''[falsetto]'' Moooo!
:'''Mr. Coconuts''': Nah, toots. That's too Holstein. Go lower into your Jersey range.
:'''Luan''': Oh, Mr. Coconuts, I can't wait to tell Mrs. Bernardo I got the part!
:'''Mr. Coconuts''': She'll be over the moooon, toots!
:'''Luan''': Aww.
:''[Suddenly Mrs. Bernardo walks in with her makeup running]''

==''Episode 2''==

===''Don't Escar-go (2.1)''===
:'''Lincoln''': So, what's the occasion, Clyde?
:'''Zach''': Yeah, are you buttering us up for something?
:'''Clyde''': Ok, here goes. The reason I created this ''Célébration de'' Friendship Brunch is because, I've got some big news. It all started last night…
:''[Flashback to earlier, getting a phone call]''
:'''Howard''': Clyde, can you get that? And please be careful. That phone is older than our 1930's Dust Bowl glasses.
:'''Clyde''': ''[picks up the phone and answers]'' Hello?
:'''Nana Gayle''': ''[calling on the other end from Sunset Canyon]'' Clyde, it's Nana Gayle. Ooh, I've got big news. My best friend, Fleur DuPont, just came to town for a surprise visit. She happens to be the dean of one of the finest cooking academies in the world.
:'''Clyde''': I know that academy! It's nearly impossible to get in. They wouldn't even let the Queen of England in. Granted, I've heard her sponge cake is dry-
:'''Nana Gayle''': Clyde, get your buns over here! And bring your baked goods, too! If Fleur tries them, oh, she's sure to let you in.
:''[Clyde hangs up happily; back to the present]''
:'''Zach''': So, what happened?
:'''Clyde''': She loved everything I made! In fact, Dean DuPont said I just have to pass one last exam tonight. I have to cook her an entire dinner. If I nail it, I'll be into the academy!
:'''Stella''': Yeah!
:'''Lincoln''': Yeah!
:'''Rusty''': Yeah, alright! ''[Clyde starts sniffing]'' Clyde, what's wrong?
:'''Clyde''': ''[sniffs]'' There's only one drawback: The school's in… Paris.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[despaired]'' NOOOOOOOOO! ''[collapses]''
:'''Liam''': Aww, it's happening again. Clyde's leaving us, just like when Lincoln done went to Canada.
:'''Clyde''': Let's not lose our heads here. I'm not 1,000% sure I'm going yet. They might not even pick me.
:'''Rusty''': Your food is divine. Of course you'll get in.
:'''Clyde''': I'll miss you guys like crazy, but this is an incredible opportunity. Where else could I learn to cook ''sole meunière, concombre a la menthe, escargot--''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[brushes the imagination aside]'' Wait, Clyde. What if you could learn to cook all those things here in Royal Woods? I know someone who can teach you. Then we wouldn't lose you.
:'''Rusty''': Ooh, give it a try, Clyde. Please?
:'''Stella''': Yeah, we're your crew, table 10 at lunch, the Action News Team! We have to stick together.
:'''Clyde''': But who are you thinking could teach me?
:'''Lincoln''': I know just the guy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Royal Woods Middle School cafeteria; the gang talks to Chef Pat]''
:'''Stella''': Chef Pat, do you know anything about French cooking?
:'''Chef Pat''': Pfft, I know everything. I used to be the head chef on a 60-foot yacht off the French Riviera. Here. ''[takes a buckwheat galette out of her hair net]'' Try a nutty buckwheat galette.
:'''Zach''': Nutty. Smooth. So why do you cook sloppy joes all the time?
:'''Chef Pat''': 'Cause that's what you kids like. ''[walks into the kitchen]''
:'''Lincoln''': Chet Pat, you ''have'' to teach Clyde all about French cooking, or else he's moving to Paris. ''[slides on his knees; begging]'' Please!
:'''Chef Pat''': Hmm. That's a lot to ask, but I'll do it, on one condition. While I'm with Clyde, you guys gotta take care of my niece, Waffles. If she tries to bite you, give her waffles. They calm her down.

===''Double Trouble (2.2)''===
:''[The Loud twin sisters arrive at Auntie Pam's contest for all the twins of Royal Woods]''
:'''Lola''': First rule of any contest: Know your enemy, and you can never lose. Who's gonna be our biggest threat?
:'''Lana''': Mr. Grouse and Flip?
:'''Lola''': ''[screeches her jeep to a stop]'' Um, what are you two trying to pull? You're not even related!
:'''Mr. Grouse''': What? You don't see the resemblance? ''[he and Flip both tug their mustaches]''
:'''Flip''': Ooh, it's in the flavor savers. ''[they both walk away, chuckling]''
:'''Lola''': Ugh.
:'''Lana''': And what's Liam doing here?
:'''Liam''': ''[to his twin goats]'' Okay, fellers, eye of the tiger.
:'''Lola''': His twins aren't even human!
:'''Liam''': Huh? They got every right to be here.
:'''Scoots''': ''[honks and pulls up]'' Uh, anyone seen my twin sister Mopes? She looks just like me, except for she's on a moped. ''[drives off]''
:'''Lola''': No way Scoots has a twin! The universe would never be so cruel.
:'''Mopes''': ''[pulls up]'' Anyone seen my twin sister Scoots? She looks just like me, except for she's on a scooter. ''[drives off]''
:'''Lola''': Okay, Scoots' sister is obviously just her in a wig. This contest is going to be an ice cream cake walk.
:'''Lana''': Yeah, we're the only ''real'' twins here.
:'''Cheryl''': ''[showing up with Meryl]'' Stop the presses! 'Cause Cheryl…
:'''Meryl''': And Meryl…
:'''Both''': Have arrived!
:'''Cheryl''': Sorry for being tardy, y'all. We may have gotten sucked into an episode of our favorite soap opera, &quot;Southern Hospitality.&quot;
:'''Auntie Pam''': ''[blowing her whistle]'' Alrighty, who's ready to twin it up? Let's get this competition started!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Auntie Pam''': ''[sees Liam's twin goats fighting; blowing her whistle]'' Disqualified!
:'''Liam''': Disqualified? For what?
:'''Auntie Pam''': ''[pulls out a contract]'' Violation of Auntie Pam's Double Trouble Contract. I can't have my twins fighting. They need to be united.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[As the Double Trouble contest comes to an end at sunset…]''
:'''Auntie Pam''': Our two final teams are Cheryl and Meryl, and Lola and Lana. And now for the big moment. Our Double Trouble twins and winners of a lifetime supply of ice cream are…lo and behold, Cheryl and Meryl!
:''[Cheryl and Meryl gasp and squeal in delight over winning; The Loud twins sigh in disappointment and drive back home]''
:'''Lola''': It's not fair! That crown and ice cream should be ''ours!'' ''[gasps and screeches her jeep to a stop as she and Lana see Liam's twin goats fighting over his shirt]''
:'''Liam''': ''[bursts out of a bush, going after them]'' Hey, wait up, fellers!
:'''Lana''': At least we didn't get disqualified for fighting, right?
:'''Lola''': ''[gets an idea]'' Fight clause. Lana, maybe there's a way we can ''still'' win! Cheryl and Meryl just need to start bickering, and Auntie Pam will make ''us'' the Double Trouble twins!
:'''Lana''': But how do we know they'll fight?
:'''Lola''': 'Cause you and I are going to ''make'' them.
:''[Next day at elementary school; Lana is walking with Cheryl on their snack break]''
:'''Lana''': Thanks for the snack break, Cheryl.
:'''Cheryl''': My pleasure, sugar.
:'''Lana''': I've never heard a person talk as much as Cheryl. She said, like, a gazillion sentences, and they all started with &quot;sugar.&quot;
:'''Lola''': Does that mean you got the scoop on how to split up her and Meryl?
:'''Lana''': It won't be easy. Those two are ''tight.'' They eat ice cream together every night. They watch ''all'' the same TV shows, like &quot;Southern Hospitality.&quot; They even double-date with their boyfriends.
:'''Lola''': ''[thinking]'' Hmm, I can work with all that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Cheryl''': ''[screams as she slips in the melted ice cream and falls on her back; angrily]'' Meryl, did you spill the ice cream?! Now we got a dairy river the size of the Mississippi on our floor!
:'''Meryl''': ''[miffed]'' Don't blame me, I didn't do it!
:''[They growl angrily at each other]''
:'''Cheryl''': Well, no use cryin' over spilled ice cream. We got plenty more in the backup freezer.
:'''Lola''': ''[disappointed]'' Ugh!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Meryl''': ''[answers the telephone]'' Yello, Che-Meryl residence. You got Meryl.
:'''Lola''': ''[impersonating Cheryl]'' Hey, sugar, it's me, your sister.
:'''Meryl''': Hey, sugar.
:'''Lola''': I'm in a bit of a pickle here at school. Huggins has a bee in his office. Actually, a ''lot'' of bees.
:'''Lana''': ''[hold a jar of bees]'' Come home safe, my babies. ''[takes the jar lid off, releasing the bees]''
:'''Lola''': I'm fixing to be here awhile. You should go ahead and watch the season finale of &quot;Southern Hospitality&quot; without me.
:'''Meryl''': What? Well, that don't sound like you at all! You serious about this?
:'''Lola''': As serious as a hoedown.
:'''Meryl''': Ooh, that is serious. And I am chompin' at the bit to find out this pie thief. Ooh, okay. I'll watch.
:''[The Loud twins high five as they hear Cheryl and Principal Huggins running away from the bees]''
:'''Cheryl''': ''[screaming]'' Run, Huggins! They think my beehive is ''their'' beehive!
:''[Cheryl and Meryl's apartment, evening; Meryl is watching the season finale, sobbing while blowing her nose]''
:'''Cheryl''': ''[enters the apartment, covered in bee stings]'' Ooh, boy, did I have a dickens of a day. ''[realizes]'' And are you watching the &quot;Southern Hospitality&quot; finale without me?
:'''Meryl''': Uh, you called and told me to.
:'''Cheryl''': That is a backhoe of lies! I think I would remember something like that!
:'''Meryl''': You calling me a fibber?!
:'''Cheryl''': If the kitten heel fits!
:'''Meryl''': How dare you?!
:'''Cheryl''': Hmph! ''[turns around]''
:'''Meryl''': Oh, and BTDubs, Wayland is the pie thief! ''[blows her nose as her sister gasps in horror at the spoilers, and they both go their separate ways]''
:''[The Loud twins smirk at each other while watching]''
:''[Next day at Auntie Pam's parlor; Cheryl and Meryl are still angry with each other during the unveiling of the Double Trouble sundae]''
:'''Auntie Pam''': Welcome all to the debut of our Double Trouble sundae. Exciting, isn't it, Double Trouble twins? ''[takes out the ceremonial scissors]'' Who wants to cut the ribbon?
:'''Meryl''': ''[takes the scissors]'' ''I'll'' do it.
:'''Cheryl''': I'm surprised you haven't already done it without me, you low-down pie thief spoiler!
:'''Meryl''': ''[spitefully cuts her sister's hair with the scissors as the crowd gasps]'' Oops.
:'''Auntie Pam''': ''[gasps]'' Ok, ladies, settle down.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lana''': The sign-up line for our Unlimited Double Trouble ice cream party starts here!
:'''Lola''': And remember, it's VIPs only.
:'''Cheryl''': ''[over P.A.; upset]'' Morning… ''[sobbing]'' Roosters. Today's lunch will be two identical twin fish sticks! Sorry, Principal Huggins, it's just that Meryl is ''gone!'' ''[sobbing hysterically; the Loud twins rush over investigating as Principal Huggins comforts her]'' After our tussle at Auntie Pam's parlor, we was both madder than wet hens, so this morning, Meryl packed up her stuff and left for the bus station! ''[Lola and Lana look even more guilty for what they have both done as she continues sobbing]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Meryl''': What is ''she'' doing here?
:'''Lola''': Look, Meryl, if you want to be mad someone, be mad at us.
:'''Lana''': Yeah, we wanted ice cream so bad, we tricked you two into fighting.
:''[Cheryl and Meryl gasp upon hearing this]''
:'''Lola''': It was stupid, and we feel so terrible. If anyone knows how much twins need each other, it's us.
:'''Lana''': Yeah, you can't leave, Meryl. Twins gotta stick together.
:'''Meryl''': ''[looks down at her twin, smiles back]'' Well, I guess I could stay. After all, you ''are'' the soft serve to my waffle cone.
:'''Cheryl''': ''[squeals and hops into her twin's arms]'' We gotta celebrate our reunion!
:''[Auntie Pam's; the two pair of twins are all enjoying their ice cream]''
:'''Lola''': You know, you should throw more twin soirees.
:'''Scoots''': ''[drives in]'' I heard about the twin party. Guess our invite got lost in the mail.
:'''Lola''': Spare us, Scoots. We know your &quot;sister,&quot; Mopes, isn't real.
:'''Mopes''': ''[showing up in the flesh]'' What are you lookie-loos staring at?
:'''Scoots''': You never seen twins before?

==''Episode 3''==

===''Flip This Flip (3.1)''===
:'''Lincoln''': Um, what's going on?
:''[Nacho chitters while pointing at the label of Gobblesworth Farm, swooning over it, and makes smooching noises]''
:'''Lana''': OK, from what I understand- my raccoon's a little rusty- the lady on the framed turkey label is Flip's old middle school crush, um… Tommy Hogglesfort?
:'''Flip''': Tammy Gobblesworth! ''[sighs]'' My one true love. I always thought she and I would eat food off of other people's plates together forever. ''[flashback to the middle school Christmas dance]'' But then I got locked out of the school dance and missed my one shot to impress her! ''[collapses after the flashback fades back to the present]''
:''[Nacho chitters more while pointing at the label and pantomime acts like a chicken]''
:'''Lana''': ''[translating]'' Ever since Flip found the label, he's been attempting to call and ask her to dinner, but he keeps chickening out.
:'''Flip''': ''[popping up]'' Hey, chickening out is a bit harsh.
:'''Lincoln''': Flip, you can totally do this. There's nothing to be afraid of.
:'''Lana''': Yeah. You're Flip Phillipini. You're a legend!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Welcome to Flip This Flip, where we take people that are complete disasters and make them shiny and new. Let's meet our panel of experts.
:'''Lana''': Lana: Hygiene.
:'''Leni''': Leni: Fashion.
:'''Lola''': Lola: Etiquette.
:'''Lisa''': Lisa: Interesting Conversation.
:'''Lincoln''': Lincoln: Transportation. What? You guys took all the good categories.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Flip''': You did your best, Loudsters. I blew it with Tammy.
:'''Lana''': ''[gasps]'' Blew it. Yes! ''[inhales and blows the French horn, sending Flip flying in the air with his outfit coming off, and slides on the floor in front of Tammy]''
:'''Tammy''': Oh, Phillip, are you okay? And where are your pants?
:'''Flip''': I gotta level with you, Tammy. Uh, I'm not a fancy tuxedo-wearing guy who oozes sophistication. The only thing I ooze is nacho cheese. Seriously, my sweat's orange. I was only trying to impress you 'cause you're so classy and glamorous. I'm not classy, I'm just gassy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': ''[to the viewers while peddling]'' Next time, I'm hiring a limo.

===''Haunted House Call (3.2)''===
:'''Lucy''': Okay, salespeople, normies love cheerfulness. Let's see those smiles. ''[The other Morticians make weird creepy smiles on their faces]'' Forget the smiles. ''[rings the doorbell as Mr. Grouse answers the door]'' Gloomy morning, Mr. Grouse. Would you be interested in buying some homemade eyeball pops?
:'''Persephone''': We're raising money to attend Casket Con this weekend.
:'''Morpheus''': They'll be unveiling the new Model C casket from Caskets R Us. It hovers, thereby totally removing the need for polders.
:'''Boris''': We're running a special. Four eyeball pops for the price of three.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': Not now, creepy Loud and you creepy friends. I've got my own problem. I can't catch my couch to take a nap!
:''[Inside the house, his furniture is floating]''
:'''Dante''': Oh, yeah. That's a ghost problem.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': What was your first clue? When my loveseat walked itself into the kitchen?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lucy''': Good morrow. Are you haunted by a specter?
:'''Morticians''': ♪ If a ghost is haunting you / And you have no clue what to do ♪
:'''Dante''': ''[dressed in a bedsheet while hanging]'' ♪ Don't just stand and scream ♪ ''[bumps into the camera]''
:'''Morticians''': ♪ Call the number on your screen ♪
:'''Lucy''': And now, we wait for customers.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Rodney''': It's destroying my clothing and spilling my most expensive cologne: Night Sweat! You have to help me!
:'''Lucy''': Ghost, reveal yourself. ''[A ghost dude, wearing a tuxedo T-shirt reveals himself]'' Spirit, what is your unfinished business here?
:'''Dude Ghost''': I was supposed to be buried in a real tux, but this joker put me in a tuxedo T-shirt! I want a refund!
:'''Rodney''': No refunds! Besides, your order form just said tuxedo, so I went with our casual package.
:'''Dude Ghost''': I can't cross over in this! I'll be laughed out of the afterlife!
:'''Rodney''': Hmph!
:'''Haiku''': What about an exchange?
:''[Later, Rodney has dressed the ghost dude in a genuine tuxedo]''
:'''Dude Ghost''': Now this is what I'm talking about.
:'''Rodney''': And here's your complementary bottle of Night Sweat!
:'''Dude Ghost''': ''[flinches in disgust]'' Yeah, I'm good.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Liam''': ''[as donkey Dolly's ghostly spirit reveals herself; gasps]'' It's Mee-Maw's prized donkey, Dolly.
:'''Persephone''': Do you know why Dolly is haunting you?
:'''Liam''': I do. I once broke our fence mud-wrestling with Virginia. And then, blamed it on Dolly. ''[Dolly brays angrily]'' I know. Ain't a moment I'm too proud of. Dolly, I'm gonna make this right. ''[walks into his house; off-screen]'' Brace yourself, Mee-Maw. You're about to be madder than a wet peacock.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Cheryl and Meryl's apartment; The TV is changing the channel back and forth from &quot;Southern Hospitality&quot; to &quot;Hipster Island&quot;]''
:'''Cheryl''': Somethin' keeps changing our channel. And we're missing the season finale of &quot;Southern Hospitality!&quot;
:'''Lucy''': This is ''definitely'' the work of a ghost. Spirit, show yourself.
:''[The ghostly spirit of a hipster appears, sitting next to the twins as they gasp]''
:'''Hipster Ghost''': This used to be my pad, brahs. And I need to find out who rid &quot;Hipster Island.&quot;
:'''Cheryl''': I use bra pads, too. But we gotta see if Sue Ellen chooses Brad or his evil twin, Chad.
:'''Lucy''': You could ''always'' record &quot;Southern Hospitality&quot;, and watch it later.
:'''Cheryl''': Well, we'll have to delete some of our crime shows, but, it's a deal. Make yourself comfy, I'll be right back with three bowls of ice cream.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lucy''': Nice doing business with you. Let's get you back to the portal and--
:'''Buzz''': Change of plans: Turns out, haunting people is the bee's knees.
:'''Persephone''': But what about the afterlife?
:'''Buzz''': Overrating. Later! ''[flies away]''
:'''Persephone''': Buzz is going to terrorize all of Royal Woods if we don't stop him.
:'''Haiku''': But Casket Con's only open for another hour. We're going to miss the unveiling of the Model C.
:'''Lucy''': Sigh. We created this mess, so we need to clean it up.

==''Save Royal Woods! (Episode 4)''==
:'''Lincoln''': ''[speaks to the crowd in the microphone, through Todd's megaphones]'' Hey, everyone. If I could have your attention. ''[the crowd catches their attention]'' Maybe Royal Woods ''is'' forgettable, but it doesn't have to stay that way. We could have something like those other towns, something to put us on the map.
:'''Clyde''': Then Joyce wouldn't flood our town. Lincoln, that's brilliant! But what could we create that would make Royal Woods seem memorable?
:'''Lincoln''': I bet if we put our heads together, we can come up with something amazing. So who's ready to save our town?
:''[The crowd cheers in agreement; Next day, Mayor Davis gives Lincoln a button reading '''&quot;Honorary Jr. Mayor&quot;''']''
:'''Lincoln''': Whoa. &quot;Honorary Jr. Mayor?&quot; Thanks, Mayor Davis.
:'''Mayor Davis''': It's the least I can do since you're helping to save the town.
:'''Lincoln''': So do I get to play your keyboard?
:'''Mayor Davis''': ''[plays buzzing sound on her keyboard, sternly]'' Don't push it, kid. ''[cheerfully]'' OK, time to hear ideas to save Royal Woods.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Undersecretary Crandall, thanks for coming.
:'''Joyce''': I hope this is good. I had to leave a meeting to pick the fish to stock Lake Gladys with. Spoiler alert: We are definitely leaning toward carp.
:'''Mayor Davis''': Actually, we think you might just change your mind about flooding your town.
:'''Joyce''': I'm sorry, but like I told you before, there is nothing that can cha-- ''[notices the giant Flippee; shocked]'' That's-that's…
:'''Albert''': The world's largest Flippee! HA! What do you think about them apples, huh? To be clear, it's not apple. It's actually sparkle berry cherry.
:'''Joyce''': Well, it is as big as the frying pan and less dangerous than the piranhas. Ugh, I guess there's no way we can put a lake here now. The flooding is off.
:''[All the citizens cheers when the giant Flippee suddenly starts shaking]''
:'''Citizens''': What's happening?!
:'''Lincoln''': Flip, what's going on?!
:'''Flip''': ''[sheepishly nervous]'' Uh, hey, Flippee syrup ain't cheap. I figured no one would drink it.
:'''Lola''': ''[seizes Flip by the collar, angrily]'' What did you do, old man?!
:'''Flip''': I may have swapped the syrup with some expired gasoline that wasn't selling. Is that really so bad?
:'''Lisa''': Short answer, yes. The gasoline is adversely reacting with my hyper-freeze additive, causing an accelerated release of energy, resulting in expanded volume.
:'''Todd''': '''In layman's terms, it's gonna blow.'''
:''[The giant Flippee explodes and covers everyone]''
:'''Joyce''': ''[fuming with rage]'' I will be back tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. with the demolition team! Royal Woods is history. ''[the giant Flippee tips over off the gas station, and destroys her car]'' YOU CRUSHED MY CAR! ''[screams as she notices something else]'' Donna! ''[angrily to the citizens]'' Make that 9:00 a.m.! ''GOODBYE, ROYAL WOODS!'' ''[storms off with fury]''
:''[End of Act 1; Beginning Act 2]''
:'''Flip''': ''[breaks down, sobbing]'' I'm sorry, everyone. The world's largest Flippee flopped! ''[Nacho chitters accusatively at him]'' Of course I regret using expired gas, Nacho! How can you ask me that?!
:'''Lincoln''': Wait! Everyone! I have a new idea that might save our town! Where's Todd?
:'''Todd''': '''I believe you, Lincoln.''' ''[starts chanting]'' '''Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln, Linc-''' ''[realizes everyone staring in confusion]'' '''Oh. We're not doing that?''' ''[deploys his PA system]''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[through microphone]'' Undersecretary Crandall said Royal Woods is history.
:'''Flip''': Why would you remind us of that?!
:'''Lincoln''': What if Royal Woods did have some kind of important history? Then she couldn't flood us.
:'''Lisa''': Elder brother, might I remind you that Royal Woods has no interesting history? We were named after an oak tree. ''[points to an old oak tree commemorated with a plaque as a branch falls off]'' That one.
:'''Lincoln''': I know, but Undersecretary Crandall doesn't. Royal Woods has the word &quot;royal&quot; in it. Maybe there's something there. I know we'd be making up a big lie, but it's the only way to save our town.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Joyce''': ''[notices something off]'' Huh? What's this?
:'''Lincoln''': No, actually, we need that back. It's on loan from the, uh, Royal Woods Museum.
:'''Joyce''': Not so fast, kid. Hmm… ''[reading on the crown]'' '''&quot;Lola Loud, Little Miss Crowning Achievement?&quot;''' ''[gasps]'' You all made this whole thing up! King George never came through here!
:'''Lola''': ''[chuckles sheepishly as she takes her crown back]'' I'll take that.
:'''Joyce''': ''[groans angrily; on walkie-talkie]'' Bring that wrecking ball! We've got a sixth Great Lake to make.
:'''Luan''': I guess it's time to say goodbye to Royal Woods.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Joyce''': ''[hopping out of the roller]'' That was a beautiful song, but I'm still going to bust this dam and flood you.
:'''Lincoln''': What?!
:'''Demolition Worker #1''': Well, we're not! That kid with the white hair is right! This town ''is'' special, and so is my town!
:'''Demolition Worker #2''': And so is mine. No town deserves to be flooded by you. Get your promotion some other way, Crandall. We don't want a sixth lake.
:'''Joyce''': ''[groans in annoyance]'' You bunch of babies! Ugh! ''[heads back into the roller]'' Come on, Donna, we'll do it ourselves.
:'''Lola''': I don't know. Might not be the best look to flood a precious small town on live television.
:'''Katherine''': This is Katherine Mulligan, covering the destruction of my town in HD-
:'''Joyce''': ''[yanks Katherine away from the camera; chuckles nervously]'' I mean, I would never flood this beautiful town. ''[waves]'' Hi, Mom, happy birthday!
:'''Todd''': ''[offering her a phone]'' '''Call for you.'''
:'''Oversecretary''': ''[on phone]'' ''Joyce, this is the Oversecretary. I saw everything. Bulldozing a perfectly good town on live TV? '''YOU'RE FIRED!'''
:''[Joyce screams in despair after being fired from her job]''
:'''Todd''': ''[pats Joyce on the back, comforting her]'' '''There, there.'''
:'''Joyce''': Don't touch me.
:'''Lincoln''': We did it! Royal Woods is saved!
:''[Everyone cheers]''
:'''Lynn''': You did it, Stinkin'!
:'''Leni''': OMGosh, Lincoln, you're a hero.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': Yeah, thanks, Loud. Way to go.
:'''Lincoln''': I'm just glad we can all stay. 'Cause…
:'''Citizens''': ''[singing again]'' ♪ We're right, we're right, we're right where we belong (Ba-ba-da-) ♪
:'''Joyce''': ''[angrily interrupting]'' PUT A CORK IN IT! ''[groans]'' WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE AND YOUR IMPROMPTU SINGING?! ''[growling as she leaves]''
:'''Citizens''': ''[finishing up]'' ♪ We're right where we belong! ♪

==''Episode 5''==

===''The Taunting Hour (5.1)''===
:'''Rita''': ''[worried]'' I've never seen Lynn freeze up like that. I hope she doesn't take it too hard.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Evening at the Loud House; The criticized Louds burst through the front door, and begin berating Lincoln]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Oh, he is in for it!
:'''Lola''': There he is!
:''[Lincoln screams as the couch tips over and himself]''
:'''Luna''': Why'd you have to tell us about our haters, dude?!
:'''Lisa''': Now we're ''all'' freezing up!
:'''Lincoln''': Look, I'm sorry I told you guys about your critics. I was just only trying to help Lynn.
:'''Lynn''': ''[irately punches a hole in the door]'' STINKOLN!
:'''Lincoln''': ''[nervously]'' I hope that's a happy &quot;Stinkoln&quot;.
:'''Lynn''': Your dumb &quot;cure&quot; ''DIDN'T'' cure me! Scoots heckled me some more and now I've got emu legs again! Wasn't even at a game. It was at the mall food court!
:'''Lincoln''': Lynn, why are you paying attention to Scoots? Why are ''any'' of you paying attention to those people? It doesn't matter what they say.
:'''Mr. Coconuts''': It's easy for you to say! You don't have to deal with it!
:'''Lola''': You just go around ruining lives!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lynn''': Dude, that Chandler's a real jerk.
:'''Lincoln''': Yeah, he is. ''[jumps off the sofa]'' But he doesn't bother me, and that's the whole point. I mean, at first he really got to me, but the more I ignored him, the easier it got. Plus, why should I care what he has to say? I'm doing what I love, and that's all that matters.
:'''Rita''': And if you can handle Chandler, I think we can handle our critics. Right, everyone?
:'''Luna''': Totally.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Yeah, I guess so.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': Hey, Loud!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[puts his fingers in his ears]'' Ah, I can't hear you, Grouse!
:'''Mr. Grouse''': I was just going to tell you-
:'''Lynn Sr.''': I'm blocking out the haters! ''[starts singing]'' ♪ La la la la- ♪
:'''Mr. Grouse''': You forgot to put on the parking brake again.
:''[Lynn Sr.'s eyes widen in horror; Outside, Vanzilla starts rolling backwards]''
:'''Kids''': Dad, Vanzilla!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[chases after his van and screams]'' BABY, PLEASE COME BACK! I'M SO SORRY!!!

===''Musical Chairs (5.2)''===
:''[Lincoln feels dejected after getting to change to another seat in Mr. Bolhofner's class at lunchtime]''
:'''Clyde''': What's wrong, Lincoln? You've barely touched the cheesecake bites I made you. Is the cheese-to-cake ratio not to your liking?
:'''Lincoln''': No, Clyde. The ratio is perfect, per usual. It's just, I don't know what to do. Bolhofner won't change my seat.
:'''Rusty''': Three words, bro: &quot;Butter him up.&quot;
:'''Liam''': Oh, he ain't wrong. ''[grabs a stick of butter]'' One time Virginia, she got her head stuck in a fence and we used a whole mess of margarine to get her out. The key is to rub it around the jowls like so. ''[rubs the butter on his cheeks]''
:'''Clyde''': ''[disgusted]'' Ugh.
:'''Rusty''': I meant he's gotta charm the man.
:'''Liam''': ''[chuckles]'' I knew that. Just testing y'all. ''[eats the butter]''
:'''Rusty''': A while back, I wanted to go skydiving with my cousin, Derek, but my dad wouldn't let me, so I spent the whole week doing nice things for him. And bam, check it! ''[plays a video of him skydiving with his cousin while screaming]''
:'''Lincoln''': Hmm. Maybe I should try buttering up the Hof.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The next day at Mr. Bolhofner's trailer; Mr. Bolhofner is grading papers]''
:'''Mr. Bolhofner''': Nope.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[enters]'' So, Mr. B, how was the band practice? That I set up, which I was glad to do, by the way?
:'''Mr. Bolhofner''': ''[chuckles]'' Yeah, right. Ugh.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[sighs]'' I guess I'll take my seat, then.
:''[Chandler has set up a bucket of hot sauce above Lincoln's seat, laughing evilly]''
:'''Mr. Bolhofner''': That's not your seat, Loud! You sit ''there'' now.
:''[He points to Lincoln's new seat, which has a bright light upon it]''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[smugly]'' Bye-bye, Chandler. ''[leaves to his new seat]''
:''[Chandler growls as he dumps the hot sauce on the seat, destroying it in the process]''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[relaxes in his new seat, and is elated to find it can recline at the push of a button]'' Whoa.
:'''Student''': Chocolate? ''[offers a box of chocolates]'' I always have extras.
:'''Lincoln''': Wow, thank you! ''[takes them]''
:'''Student''': Oh, and if you ever get tense, I keep a massager under my desk! Feel free to use it!
:'''Lincoln''': Really? I wouldn't want to impose- ''[the student puts the massager on his neck]'' Oh, yeah. ''[the bell rings; the student reaches for the massager]'' Leave it.

==''Episode 6''==

===''A Bug's Strife (6.1)''===
:''[The Louds are walking out of the house and into Vanzilla]''
:'''Rita''': Oh! Double check, make sure I have my key. Mm. ''[her husband comes out, looking quite sick]'' Honey, you shouldn't be out here. Go back inside and get to bed.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': I just wanted to see you guys off. I'll miss you while you're at Aunt Ruth's today. It's a ding-dang shame I'm going to miss the slideshow of her bus tour of &quot;the Malls of the Midwest.&quot; ''[sneezes]''
:'''Rita''': Aw. Gesundheit. It's okay. Aunt Ruth will totally understand.
:'''Lola''': ''[walking out of the house; annoyed]'' It's not fair. Why does Daddy get to stay home? ''[Lynn Sr. sneezes again; disgusted]'' Ugh, question answered.
:'''Rita''': Get lots of rest. We'll see you tonight. ''[walks into Vanzilla and starts backing up]''
:'''Leni''': Bye, Dad!
:'''Lynn''': Feel better, Pops.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Aunt Ruth's house; In the living room, she is showing the Louds her Malls of the Midwest slideshow; Leni is the only one interested in watching]''
:'''Aunt Ruth''': And here's a bathroom stall from a mall in Indianapolis. This one had auto-flushing like the ones at a fancy steakhouse.
:'''Lynn''': ''[bored out of her mind]'' Dad's so lucky to be home sleeping. Ugh.
:'''Aunt Ruth''': Shh! Lynn, you're gonna miss the massage chairs at the mall at Walnut Grove!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Lynn Sr. rushes over to Mr. Grouse's house and knocks on the door]''
:'''Mr. Grouse''': No one's home! Go away!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Mr. Grouse, I need your help!
:'''Mr. Grouse''': ''[opens the door]'' Oh, lookie, it's a Loud. Shocker. What do you want, and how fast can I get rid of you?
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Remember the spare key I gave you for emergencies? Well, this is an emergency.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': Oh, yeah, sure. I keep it in a bowl right here. ''[shows a bowl that's filled with countless keys]'' Yeah, this might take a minute.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Rita''': Oh, honey, you must've been so delirious you trashed the house! I had no idea you were ''this'' sick. You need to get to bed immediately. ''[the porch suddenly collapses, sending both her and her husband to the ground]'' But not here. Kids, come on. We have to go.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Ah! Move to Canada. Smart. Chirpy won't find us there. ''[chuckles]''
:'''Rita''': No. We'll stay with Aunt Ruth until the house is repaired. She'll be happy to help nurse you back to health. I should warn you, though, she'll ''want'' to show you her Malls of the Midwest slideshow.

===''All the Rage (6.2)''===
:'''Zach''': You mad 'cause your favorite contestant cheated?
:'''Clyde''': Zamir didn't cheat! He would ''never'' cheat!
:'''Lincoln''': Maybe you can root for a different contestant. What about Maneet?
:'''Clyde''': Maneet's cream puffs… ''[his eyes glow red, muscles bulge, and clenches his fist in fury]'' '''''ARE DRY!''''' ''[begins throwing dodgeballs in rage]''
:'''Stella''': Guys, I think we just won.

==''Episode 7''==

===''Scoop Snoop (7.1)''===
:''[Royal Woods Middle School; Liam is recording the footage of Stella reporting of an owner with their pet]''
:'''Stella''': This is Stella Zhau reporting. ''[suspiciously]'' Someone's been letting their pet go potty here on the school field and not cleaning it up. Well, the Action News Team are here to reveal the &quot;poop-etrator.&quot; ''[gasps and looks ahead to see a &quot;dog&quot; with their owner both wearing identical disguises]'' Here they come now! Kangaroos, time to bust some scum!
:''[As Liam and Stella run over to the owner and their &quot;dog&quot;, they are outsped by Katherine Mulligan and her cameraman]''
:'''Liam''': What?!
:'''Katherine''': This is a Katherine Mulligan news exclusive. I'm unmasking the serial pet pooper. ''[takes the hat off the owner, revealing to be Vic]'' The owner is Vic. And the pet pooper is Gilly!
:'''Liam''': ''[confused]'' Jumpin' jackalopes. How in the world did she steal ''our'' story?
:''[Sunset Canyon Retirement Home; Zach is recording the footage of Rusty with an &quot;old lady&quot; at a table writing on a piece of paper in the background behind him]''
:'''Rusty''': The Action News Team has received a tip that somebody famous is hiding out here disguised as an old lady. Prepare to have your minds blown.
:'''Katherine''': ''[pops out from under the table]'' I'm Katherine Mulligan exposing this &quot;little old lady&quot; as… ''[pulls the wig/mask off, revealing…]'' Mick Swagger in disguise. He's holed up here as he writes songs for his new album, &quot;Mick or Treat.&quot;
:'''Zach''': ''[annoyed in anger]'' Hey, that was ''our'' scoop!
:'''Scoots''': ''[wheeling over and points to him]'' Nobody punks ''us,'' Brit boy! PUDDING HIM!
:''[The Action News Team are peddling their bikes to Gus' Games and Grub]''
:'''Lincoln''': This is the story of the century. 
:'''Stella''': It's cool of Gus to tip us off he's discontinuing spaghetti pizza.
:'''Clyde''': ''[sobbing]'' It's a dark day for the culinary world. ''[he and Lincoln bump into the back of Katherine's '''NEWS 3''' van and fall off]''
:'''Action News Team''': ''[gasp]'' Oh, no!
:'''Katherine''': This is the ''last'' bite of the last slice of the last spaghetti pizza Gus will ''ever'' serve. ''[eats the last bite-sized piece]'' I'm Katherine Mulligan reporting that you'll never know just how delicious that was.
:'''Stella''': ''[annoyed]'' I don't get it! How does Katherine Mulligan keep scooping us?!
:'''Rusty''': Someone has to be leaking to her. My cousin Derek's studying to be a plumber. He says; &quot;You have to find a leak and plug it, or it gets worse.&quot;
:'''Lincoln''': Rusty's right. If we don't do something, this could be the end of The Action News Team.
:'''Clyde''': Wait. Can we a moment of silence for… ''[sniffles sadly]'' spaghetti pizza?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Clyde''': We're never gonna find the leak at this rate. There are too many people at school to investigate.
:'''Rusty''': ''[eating a bowl of grapes]'' We shouldn't be following the rat, we should wait at the nest.
:'''Liam''': Then what in the manure pile does that even mean?
:'''Rusty''': Katherine ''is'' the nest, dawgs! If we follow her, the &quot;leaker&quot;, or &quot;rat&quot;, is gonna come to her.
:'''Lincoln''': Then we'll have our culprit! Rusty, that's a brilliant idea! Looks like it's time for an Action News Team undercover investigation!
:''[The Action News Team poses; Next morning, Lincoln, Clyde, and Stella are outside in front of Katherine's house, suspiciously watching her from the bushes as she eats a Danish that popped out from the toaster]''
:'''Lincoln''': 8:02. Katherine takes a bite of Danish.
:'''Stella''': Roger that.
:'''Rusty''': ''[popping out]'' 'Sup, dudes?
:'''Stella''': Rusty, you're late! ''[sniffs with disgust]'' Ugh, what's that awful smell?
:'''Rusty''': I was helping my dad pick a cologne to wow his gal pal. He lands it on Undersea Daydream.
:''[Lincoln, Clyde and Stella gag over the scent and gasp as Katherine exits her house and hide behind the bushes; Katherine gets into her car and drives off - humming a tune]''
:'''Lincoln''': Suspect's on the move. Let's go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Katherine and her cameraman are eating lunch at the Burpin' Burger; Liam and Rusty hide in the trash can as Liam pops his hand out out of the lid with his phone, recording the footage]''
:'''Liam''': Rusty, ya got your knee square in my gizzard.
:'''Rusty''': Then stop moving around, dawg!
:'''Liam''': Shh.
:'''Rusty''': ''[as Katherine and her cameraman empty their trays into the trash can]'' Augh! Horseradish in the eye! Ugh.
:'''Katherine''': Katherine Mulligan wants to know, did this garbage can just talk? ''[shrugs and walks off out of sight as soon as Rusty and Liam tip over, exhausted]''
:''[Royal Woods Bowling Alley; Katherine and Patchy Drizzle are bowling against each other as Patchy knocks down the 10 pins]''
:'''Patchy''': Yahoo! Today's forecast: a 100% chance of winning for Patchy Drizzle!
:'''Katherine''': I'm getting some developing news. It ain't over till the last frame. ''[interrupted by Lincoln and Clyde, disguised as their grandmothers as she's about to bowl]''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[imitating Myrtle]'' Don't mind us, sweetie. We're just a couple of senior ladies bowling.
:''[Zach, in his bush disguise, takes out his phone to record the footage, but wobbles and collides with them, rolling them across the alley and knocking down the 10 pins]''
:'''Katherine''': Katherine Mulligan wants to know, did that bush just bowl a strike?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Okay, so Stella made a notebook of some &quot;hot news leads&quot;, but they're all fake. We &quot;accidentally&quot; dropped it here by Principal Ramirez's car. As the &quot;rat,&quot; she &quot;finds it&quot; and takes it to &quot;the nest.&quot; Any questions? 
:'''Clyde''': Can you go over that one more time? I got lost in all the air quotes. 
:'''Lincoln''': I'll explain as we hide.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[A week later, back at Tall Timbers Park, Principal Ramirez meets up with Katherine again]''
:'''Katherine''': Oh. Principal Ramirez. Glad you could make it.
:''[The Action News Team peep from a bush]''
:'''Lincoln''': Gotcha. Principal Ramirez! ''[running towards the two women along with the rest of his team]'' Action News Team!
:'''Katherine''': Excuse me.
:'''Lincoln''': Principal Ramirez, how much has Katherine Mulligan been paying you to steal our news stories?
:'''Principal Ramirez''': I don't know what you're talking about.
:'''Clyde''': ''[holds up his mic in front of her, making her trip into the lake]'' ''We're'' asking the questions here!
:'''Rusty''': The jig is up, Katherine &quot;Shady Shader&quot; Mulligan! The book Principal Ramirez was going to give you is a bunch of phony news leads ''we'' planted. Bam! ''[looks closely at the title on the book cover]'' &quot;Passion under the Pompeii Moon?&quot; Uh-oh.
:'''Principal Ramirez''': ''[angrily snatches the book from Rusty]'' You bet you're &quot;uh-oh.&quot; Ms. Mulligan and I are in a book club together. Now someone get me out of here.
:'''Katherine''': That's the story. We've been meeting to swap novels we're reading.
:'''Stella''': So you weren't leaking our stories?
:'''Principal Ramirez''': ''[brushing the lake water off her skirt]'' Of course not! Is this what you spend your time on, making false accusations?! I have half a mind to shut down the Action News Team.
:'''Stella''': Please, don't.
:'''Rusty''': No, dawg!
:'''Lincoln''': We're sorry.
:'''Liam''': Give us another chance.
:'''Katherine''': I'm Katherine Mulligan and…I agree with these children. Sure they got the story wrong, but they got real drive. It reminds me of me when I was thriving out. I say they deserve a second chance.
:'''Principal Ramirez''': ''[over her mind; annoyed]'' Fine. ''[gets out of the lake as the Action News Team high five in celebration]'' But no more wild goose chases, or knocking principals in lakes.
:'''Zach''': Promise.
:'''Lincoln''': We swear.
:'''Rusty''': It was Zach.

===''Eye Can't (7.2)''===
:'''Lisa''': ''[entering the kitchen]'' Good morn… ''[bumps into Charles]'' When did we put the trash can here?
:'''Rita''': Honey, that's Charles.
:'''Lisa''': Ah, yes, of course. Hmm. Ah! ''Here's'' the orange juice I was looking for. ''[mistakes the flower vase and takes it off the table]''
:'''Rita''': Have you noticed Lisa's been acting a little off this week?
:''[Flashback to Lisa bumping into the end table, and another of her bumping into the stair railing]''
:'''Lisa''': Pardon me, father. ''[cut to her petting a skunk, mistaking it for Cliff]'' Good boy, Cliff. Good boy.
:'''Leni''': ''[frightened]'' Uh, Lisa? That's ''not'' Cliff.
:''[Flashback ends as the skunk sprays on the siblings, screaming off-screen]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Yeah. She needs new glasses.
:'''Lisa''': ''[returns to the kitchen]'' Ah, silly me, I mistook a vase of flowers for orange juice. Ah! ''Here's'' the actual orange juice.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': That's hot coffee! Sweetie, look, Mom and I think it's time for you to go to the eye doctor. 
:'''Lisa''': What? Poppycock! Now if you'll excuse me, I shall be in the living room.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Todd''': ''[while removing the cactus thorns]'' '''What is the problem? It's just the eye doctor.'''
:'''Lisa''': The problem, Todd, is that I have an irrational phobia of the ophthalmologist.
:'''Todd''': '''But that does not compute. You are a genius.'''
:'''Lisa''': I said it was irrational, Todd. And I've tried to train myself to move-past it, but, I can't!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': ''[falls down the stairs and lands flat on her face in front of her parents]'' Problem solved, parents. I've forged myself a new pair of glasses, and all is well. ''[opens her eyes - still abnormal through her glasses]'' 
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Counterpoint, you ''did'' kinda just fall down the stairs.
:'''Lisa''': Eh. You say tomato, I say mildly near-sighted.
:'''Rita''': And I say tomorrow morning ''you'' are going to the eye doctor, and, maybe the pediatrician too to see if you have any damage from that fall.
:'''Lisa''': Fine.

==''Episode 8''==

===''Dine and Bash (8.1)''===
:''[Vanzilla pulls up at Lynn's table and the siblings get out and walk in]''
:'''Todd''': '''Have a good afternoon, sweeties. Don't forget to do your homework. I'll be checking.''' ''[drives away]''
:'''Lisa''': Note to self: Dial back Todd's maternal mode.
:''[As the Loud siblings enter, they're overwhelmed to see the place crowded in a rush]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Oh, good, you're here! Before you jump into homework, I need your help with the afternoon rush.
:'''Lincoln''': No problem. Guys, fan out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Oh, you kids are a big help, especially with Mom off visiting Lori for Mother-Daughter Golf Day. ''[the phone rings and answers it]'' Lynn's Table. Come in if you're able. You've got Lynn.
:'''Kotaro''': Lynn, I have some exciting news. The Doo-Dads just booked a big gig tonight at Sunset Canyon!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[gasps in excitement]'' No we &quot;Dadn't!&quot;
:'''Kotaro''': Yes we &quot;Dad!&quot; It's Bernie's third wedding! He's marrying his lady friend from Boca.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[realizes in disappointment]'' Ohh! Ding, dang, darnit! I have to work the dinner shift. I gave Grant the night off to play &quot;Orcs, Horks, Wizards, and Pork&quot; with his friends.
:'''Grant''': ''[enters the kitchen wearing a wizard costume]'' Many thanks, Spirit Wizard Loud! May your harvest be fruitful this moon! ''[leaves]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': You guys should just do the gig without this Doo-Dad.
:'''Kotaro''': But a band with just one cowbell is no band at all.
:'''Lincoln''': Hey, Dad, what if ''we'' took over the restaurant tonight?
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[touched]'' Aw, that's sweet of you guys, but a night alone's a big responsibility.
:'''Lola''': ''[chuckles]'' We know this place like the back of our flawless hands. Ew! Time for a mani.

===''Sofa, So Good (8.2)''===
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Oh, kids! We have a surprise!
:''[The siblings rush into the living room]''
:'''Lola''': You were saying about a surprise for me?
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[facing the opposite direction]'' Your mother and I have been talking… ''[Rita turns him back the right way]'' Oh, hey everybody. And since it's been seven days since we had any house or life-threatening disasters…
:'''Rita''': We thought you all deserve a big surprise.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[leaves]'' Just keep that streak going a little bit longer.
:'''Rita''': And we'll be back with the surprise by 4:00! ''[leaves and closes the door]''
:'''Lincoln''': I bet it's an indoor pool.
:'''Lucy''': I bet it's a family burial plot.
:'''Lana''': I bet it's a Clydesdale.
:'''Lynn''': I bet it's tickets to Jelly Wrestlefest 1 15!
:'''Lincoln''': No. No. ''[Lynn does a wrestling jump and landed on him as he groans]''
:'''Lisa''': ''[clears throat]'' You can call me the proverbial wet blanket, stick in the mud, resident sourpuss but, based on statistical averages, there's a 98.3% probability that we're going to mess up before the day is out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': ''[looks up to Luan, stuck whilst sitting on the ceiling]'' Uh, Luan, what's going on up there?
:'''Luan''': Looks like we've got a ''&quot;sit-uation.&quot;''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': We did it! All we gotta do now is bring the furniture back in. ''[outside, they notice the furniture is missing]'' Uh, guys, where's the furniture?

==''Episode 9''==

===''The Last Laugh (9.1)''===

===''Driver's Dread (9.2)''===
:'''Leni''': OMGosh, Lori, I'm so excited to see you this weekend!
:'''Lori''': Samesies! It'll be like old times. Spending the whole day shopping at the Outlet Mall. Did you know everything is 50% off?
:'''Leni''': So if we go twice, it'll be 100% off!
:'''Lori''': ''[confused]'' Huh?
:'''Leni''': BTDubs, Tanya's coming along. She's desperate for a new look. ''[to Tanya]'' Don't stress out, Tanya. I'll find someone to drive us there.
:'''Lori''': You know, Leni, maybe it's time you tried to get your license again.
:'''Leni''': I thought about it, then it scared me, so I stopped thinking about it. Remember the last time? ''[flashback to the events of '''&quot;Driving Miss Hazy&quot;''' where she crashed Vanzilla into a pool]'' Is this the carpool lane? ''[back to present]'' There is no way I'm going through that again. The only thing that scares me more than driving is shoulder pads and perms. ''[shudders]'' But don't worry! I'll find a way to get there.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Rita is in the kitchen writing an article while getting highly caffeinated]''
:'''Rita''': Latte, expresso, macchiato, Fortado… Oh! Those rhyme!
:'''Leni''': Mom? Could you drive me to the mall this weekend? Dad can't-
:'''Rita''': I'm sorry, sweetie, I can't. I have to finish a big article about coffee, coffee, coffee. And now I gotta pee, pee, pee! ''[runs for the bathroom while holding her bladder]''
:'''Leni''': You can't! Lola's taking one of her four-hour baths, and she's only on hour two.
:'''Rita''': ''[bolts out the back door]'' MR. GROUSE, I NEED YOUR BATHROOM! ''[peeks out]'' Maybe you can take the bus.

==''Episode 10''==

===''Bummer Camp (10.1)''===
:'''Leonard''': ''[calling in on the TV from Camp Mastodon]'' Hello? Is this thingy on? I just see me. ''[sees his grandkids as he backs up]'' Up, there you are! Ah, hi, my little minnows!
:'''Lincoln''': Hey, Gramps. What's up?
:'''Leonard''': Well, kiddos, I'm in a bind. I got a new batch of campers coming in a week, and my counselors just bailed on me during training! I'm as stuck as a boat at low tide! Why, without counselors, I'll have to close down Mastodon and return to life at sea.
:''[The kids gasp in shock]''
:'''Lincoln''': Wait, what?
:'''Leonard''': Ah, breaks my heart. I love this ding-dang camp. All the summers your dad and I spent here together… ''[sighs]'' So, if you know any counselors, just let me know. Gramps, over and out. How do you… where do I- WHOA! ''[drops the camera in the lake, where a fish swims over before the call disconnects]''
:'''Lynn''': Gramps leaving?! Major foul! I don't want him to go! ''[starts venting her rage by kicking the couch]''
:'''Luna''': None of us do, dudette. We just got him back!
:'''Lucy''': We have to find some counselors for Gramps. I'll see if any of my undertaker friends are looking to pick up extra cash.
:'''Lincoln''': Wait! We can be Gramps's counselors. Then the camp will stay open and he won't go. Who's with me? ''[the sisters cheer]'' Camp Mastodon, here we come! ''[notices they're still watching ''The Dream Boat'']'' Um, guys?
:'''Lola''': Yeah, we're gonna need five minutes. We have to see who Brynn picked!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Later, Luna repeatedly breaks shovels trying to break the barnacles, with Leni and Lola having brought a box full of them and the entire supply being exhausted. Lynn uses a hammer to break the barnacles, but fails. Lincoln grabs a jackhammer and begins removing barnacles as his sisters cheer, but is sent careening into the woods. Eventually, all the barnacles are gone, and the sisters are all exhausted.]''
:'''Leonard''': Well, rig my sails! I'm impressed, kiddos! Guess you won't have any trouble with the rest of 'em! ''[points to even more barnacle-encrusted canoes]'' Well, let me know when you're finished! ''[leaves]''
:'''Lisa''': Now we know why all those other counselors quit.
:'''Lynn''': Yeah, Gramps is running this camp like he ran his fishing boat, and it's 0% fun!
:'''Lisa''': And if he keeps this up, he'll run off his future campers, too. Mastodon will be done for, and Gramps will leave us! I'm afraid we must tell him.
:''[Lincoln is chase by a runaway jackhammer.]''

===''Sleepstakes (10.2)''===
:''[Lana gets an invitation and hides it in her hat]''
:'''Rita''': Lana, what are you hiding? Is that another note from Principal Huggins about bathing more frequently?
:'''Lana''': No. He gave up on that. ''[takes the invitation out of her hat]'' It's an invitation to a sleepover my friend Kayla's having. But as all of you know, I'm really bad at sleepovers.

==''Episode 11''==

===''Cat-astrophe (11.1)''===
:'''Harold''': Go for Harold?
:'''Nana Gayle''': Harold, it's your mother.
:'''Harold''': Oh! Hi, Mom! Clyde, come say hi to Nana!
:'''Clyde''': Hi, Nana Gayle!
:'''Nana Gayle''': Hey there, baby. What time are you boys coming around for our annual birthday celebration? You didn't forget my big day, did you?
:'''Harold''': ''[shocked]'' Your big day?
:''[Howard gasps, takes out his phone, and scrolls to Nana Gayle's birthday on their daily schedule, realizing they forgot, and faints]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Nana Gayle''': Wait, what is this? Fish cake? Milk fountain? Weird lady in a cat suit? Boys, what's going on?
:'''Harold''': ''[guilty]'' I'm sorry, Mom. We got so distracted planning Cleopawtra and Nepurrtiti's graduation party that we…forgot your birthday.
:'''Howard''': We thought if we brought everything from the cat's party here, we could still give you a great birthday.
:'''Clyde''': We're sorry, Nana. ''[sighs sadly]'' We really messed up.
:'''Scoots''': Yeah, you did. Come on, Gayle. Let 'em have it!

===''Prize Fighter (11.2)''===

==''Time Trap! (Episode 12)''==
:'''Lynn''': Oh-ho-ho-ho, man. I would hate to be you right now, Lori!
:'''Lori''': Me? Lincoln was the one who told me to chip it!
:'''Lincoln''': Well, Charles was supposed to be protecting the vase!
:'''Lana''': You leave Charles out of this! ''[hops on the couch and hugs Charles]'' Who came up with this dumb game anyway?
:'''Lincoln''': Guys! We need to figure what we're going to do about this vase. Remember what happened the last few times it broke?
:''[Flashback to Lincoln, in his Ace Savvy outfit, rappelling from the ceiling to nab the last slice of pizza from Lynn]''
:'''Lynn''': Nice try, Stinkoln. ''[hits him with the pizza box, flinging him into the vase and shattering it]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[opens the door, frantically]'' What happened? ''[notices the shattered vase and gasps]'' That was a wedding gift! ''[angrily to them]'' You're all grounded for the night!
:''[Second flashback to Lynn, Lucy, and Luan in the twins' room]''
:'''Lynn''': ''[with her rear stuck inside the vase's neck]'' Told ya it would fit. ''[farts, letting the bottle fly away]''
:'''Rita''': ''[ducks as the vase flies out of the room and shatters; enraged]'' That was a wedding gift! You're all grounded for a week!
:''[Third flashback]''
:'''Lisa''': ''[bursting in through the front door with chemicals]'' Hot chemicals coming through! ''[rushes past the vase, which starts wobbling, but rests; relieved]'' Phew.
:'''Lana''': El Diablo, drop it!
:''[El Diablo slithers past Lisa knocking the chemical out of her hands and destroying the vase with an explosion]''
:'''Rita and Lynn Sr.''': ''[gasp]'' Our wedding gift!
:'''Rita''': ''[angrily]'' You guys are grounded for a month!
:''[Back to present]''
:'''Lincoln''': If Mom and Dad find out we broke the vase again, we'll definitely be grounded for the whole year.
:'''Luna''': Can't we just get rid of it?
:'''Lynn''': ''[imitates buzzer]'' They'd notice. In case you haven't heard, it was a wedding gift.
:'''Lucy''': That vase has been nothing but a pox on this house.
:'''Lola''': Ugh! I wish Mom and Dad never got this heinous thing in the first place!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Siblings, I figured out a way to save our collective gluteus maximi. A while back, I unlocked the secret of time travel. I swore to never use it again, but desperate times call for desperate measures. My plan is simple: I'll travel back to the day of Mom and Dad's wedding. There, I'll prevent our parental units from ever receiving the vase. In layman's terms, no vase, no grounding. Any questions?
:'''Lynn''': ''[raises her hand]'' Yeah… I've got one, brainbox. Won't removing the vase affect the fabric of the space-time continuum?
:'''Lisa''': Actually, that is a highly perceptive question.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Behold! ''[the garage door is stuck]'' Aw, dang it. The door is stuck. Everyone, just crawl under… Ding-dang door ruining my reveal… ''[scoffs]''
:'''Leni''': So where's the time machine?
:'''Lisa''': You're lookin' at it.
:'''Lincoln''': You built a time machine? Out of Vanzilla? In seven minutes?!
:'''Lisa''': Well, it's not like it was hard. All I needed was an alkaline-coated crankshaft and some plutonium. Mm-hmm. ''[rips off her shirt and pants to reveal a tuxedo]''
:'''Lola''': You even had time to get a tux?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': How in Galileo's micrometer did you get here?!
:'''Lincoln''': We snuck in the back seat when you weren't looking. You have terrible peripheral vision.
:'''Lana''': We wanna help you with the mission!
:'''Lola''': And I'm not one to miss a party.
:'''Lisa''': Fine… Since you're here, you can help me find the vase. But remember, it's crucial that we get it, swap it, and get out without being seen. Let's roll!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lynn''': Mom and Dad are gonna feel pretty bad when they hear we had to- ''[feels the couch]'' This feels different.
:'''Lola''': ''[gasps]'' That's 'cause it ''is'' different! Mom and Dad would never shell out for high-quality upholstery like this!
:'''Lucy''': The blood- I mean, ketchup stains on the walls are gone.
:'''Lana''': This carpet feels softer than normal. And where are all the mud stains?
:'''Lori''': ''[sniffs]'' And it doesn't smell like Cliff's farts, or Lynn's.
:'''Lynn''': ''[preparing to fart]'' Oh, I can fix that.
:'''Lola''': ''[screaming from upstairs]'' What happened to my room?! My trophies! My headshots! Mr. Sprinkles! '''MY HEADSHOTS!!!'''
:''[The siblings check to see the twins' bedroom, now into a gym room]''
:'''Lynn''': Why is your room full of gym equipment?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Welp, it seems my hypothesis was correct. We've altered the course of history. ''[gulps]'' I'm afraid…'''''we don't exist!'''''
:''[The other Loud siblings gasp; End of Act 1]''
:''[Beginning Act 2]''
:'''Lincoln''': What do you mean we don't exist?
:'''Lisa''': We altered the timeline and erased our own existence. In this timeline, Mom and Dad never had kids. Huh. The question is why… Perhaps there is someone who could help us fill in the blanks.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lana''': Found a crankshaft! Ooh, also found this junkyard burrito. Double score! ''[surfs on a car door and lands on other trash while Lynn nabs the crankshaft and Chunk gets the burrito]
:'''Alternative Chunk''': Brilliant. I just found me lunch. ''[eats the burrito]'' A bit o' bad news, though. I think your punk friend flew the coop. ''[points to the dropped guitar, which Luna has disappeared]''
:'''Lincoln''': Now Luna disappeared!
:'''Lucy''': So did Leni.
:'''Lisa''': Of course - they're disappearing in birth order.
:'''Lynn''': We gotta move fast if we want to save the rest of us.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Without me, Chandler took my spot in the friend group.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Luan''': ''[sniffs]'' Ooh, smell that? Pet dander and farts!
:'''Luna''': Look! There are pics of us on the wall!
:'''Lincoln''': ''[checks the couch]'' Yes! The couch is sticky! What the…?!
:'''Lisa''': Yeah! The timeline has been repaired!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[off-screen]'' Kids, we're home!
:''[Their parents enter with a pizza box]''
:'''Rita''': We picked up pizza for di- ''[she and Lynn Sr. gasp upon seeing the broken vase]'' You broke our vase again?! ''[The siblings all smile]'' And you're happy about it?
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[sternly]'' Ok, that is it! Everyone is grounded for two months!
:'''Lincoln''': ''[as he and his sisters hug them]'' We'll stay home with you as long as you'd like.

==''Episode 13''==

===''Crashed Course (13.1)''===

===''Puns and Buns (13.2)''===
:'''Andre''': Benjamin Stein, you may have just started working here, but I know greatness when I see it. I am promoting you to Assistant Manager of the Burpin' Burger. ''[puts a golden Burger necklace on around Benny's neck]''
:'''Benny''': Wow, the Golden Buns? Dreams do come true!
:'''Andre''': You've earned it. You're always on time, your uniform is always clean. And you're the first person ''ever'' to organize the pickles…by size.
:'''Benny''': Thank you, Andre. I'll teach you how to organize the pickles too, Otis. Once you've recovered from that accident with the burger sign.
:''[Flashback to Otis' accident while dressed in a burger costume as he spins the sign, flinging it upwards and falls on him]''
:'''Andre''': And we all want you to get better soon. ''[hits Otis in the injured arm, making him cringe in pain]'' Especially me, because I have to fill in for you.
:'''Benny''': No one wears the buns like you, boss.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Luan''': Well, I'd better take Mr. Coconuts home. We just used our savings on that hilarious soda bit. I miss spending time with you, Benny. Ever since Dairyland closed for the off season, I don't see you very much. ''[takes out her phone and shows Benny a photo of herself in her Heidi Heifer costume, unmasking herself in front of him and scaring him, causing him to knock the popcorn cart over]'' Remember how I'd sneak up on you and scare you, and you'd knock over your popcorn cart? ''[laughs]'' I missed that.
:'''Benny''': ''[laughs]'' Classic us. I miss it, too.
:'''Luan''': ''[gets an idea]'' Wait. Benny, why don't I just work here with you? Problem solved!
:'''Benny''': I was just thinking that, too! But I don't know if Andre will go for it. He takes fast food very seriously.
:'''Andre''': ''[now in the burger costume as he puts ketchup on as war paint]'' Be the burger, be the burger. Sesame seed bun! ''[charges out the door]''
:'''Luan''': You can convince him. He'll listen to you.
:'''Benny''': You're right. I'm Assistant Manager now!
:''[Outside the restaurant]''
:'''Andre''': Absolutely not. Luan, work here? Are you kidding?
:'''Benny''': But sir, Otis is still injured and we could really use a little more help. Plus, she ''does'' have experience. Her family owns a restaurant. And she promised to leave Mr. Coconuts at home.
:'''Andre''': Fine, but Luan is your responsibility. She can be your first assignment as assistant manager.
:'''Benny''': Thanks, boss! You won't regret this!
:'''Andre''': I hope not.
:'''Benny''': ''[chuckles and heads back inside; clears throat, holding up a Burpin' Burger uniform in front of Luan]'' Welcome to the Burpin' Burger family, Luan! You start tomorrow!

==''Episode 14''==

===''Lights, Camera, Nuclear Reaction (14.1)''===
:'''Lincoln''': Todd, you were amazing! And the hologram effect Lisa installed was the coolest! ''[notices something]'' Todd? ''[passes through him, turning out he's a hologram; shocked]'' Ahh!
:'''Todd''': ''[laughs]'' '''Got you, Lincoln. You should have seen the look on your face. Actually, I can show you. Playing memory from three seconds ago.''' ''[plays the memory and replays Lincoln's shock multiple times while zooming in on his face; laughs]'' '''Good times.'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lisa''': ''[enters the dining room, panting]'' Quick question, have you seen the nuclear reactor from yesterday's shoot? Uh, not to create any panic, but it's missing. And if it falls into the wrong hands… ''[chuckles nervously]'' it could potentially destroy Royal Woods.
:'''Lincoln''': You mean that was real?!
:'''Lisa''': You asked for screen accuracy, Lincoln. Anyway, if you stumble on a glowing, unstable nuclear reactor, let me know.
:'''Lincoln''': You're in luck, Lisa. Where there's evil in the world, there's only one secret agent who can stop it, and his name is-
:'''Clyde''': Um, Lincoln, Lisa already left.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[sighs]'' Agent David Steele. We're coming up to help, Lis!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Todd''': '''So glad you could make it, Mr. Steele and friends.'''
:'''Lincoln''': This isn't you, Todd! It's the villain switch talking! Look, we're going to slowly come over and turn it off, OK?
:'''Todd''': ''[presses a button and traps the three in a net]'' '''Sorry, Agent Steele. That won't be happening, and now you can all watch annihilate Royal Woods. Oh, and one last thing.''' ''[removes the villain switch to their horror]'' '''Now I'll be in villain mode forever.''' ''[laughs]'' '''You should see your faces. Actually, I can show you. Playing memory from three seconds ago.''' ''[plays and replays the memory of them gasping]''

===''Food Courting (14.2)''===
:'''Miguel''': Leni, you ready for lunch?
:'''Leni''': Definitely. How 'bout Spaghetti on a Stick? I'm craving skewered noodles.
:'''Miguel''': Uh, sure, but, let's go to the Spaghetti on a Stick across town, or maybe one in a different town. I hear you get free marinara in Hazeltucky.
:'''Leni''': That's silly, it's right there. Come on.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gavin''': Welcome to Spaghetti on a Stick. How can I help you today?
:'''Miguel''': ''[sweating nervously]'' Uh, nice boats. Are those shoes fresh? Boy, that episode of ''The Dream Sauce,'' huh? ''[Gavin stares confusingly at him; rushes off embarrassingly, and bumps into a man in lederhosen, getting sauerkraut in his eyes]'' AHH! SAUERKRAUT IN MY EYE!
:'''Leni''': Don't worry, we are not giving up. ''[sniffs]'' And sauerkraut is actually a good scent on you.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gavin''': Hey, Miguel! Looking stylish as usual.
:'''Leni''': ''[through radio microphone]'' ''Thanks. What can you tell me about the rigatoni today?''
:'''Miguel''': Uh--uh, thanks. What can you tell me about the rigatoni today?
:'''Gavin''': Excellent question! The pasta is fresh from Sicily. Well, Sicily, Michigan, but still. So, can I put in an order from you?
:'''Scoots''': ''[interrupting]'' Quit daydreaming, blondie, and ring these up.
:'''Leni''': One moment, please.
:'''Miguel''': ''[in the exact same tone and posture]'' One moment, please.
:'''Gavin''': I get it, choosing the right pasta takes time.
:'''Miguel''': I'm gonna have to ask you to calm down and step back, please.
:'''Leni''': ''[being bothered at Scoots waving the pants in her face]'' I said, step back, please!
:'''Scoots''': And ''I'' said, I've waited long enough!
:'''Gavin''': Uh, Miguel? Is everything all right?
:'''Miguel''': ''[laughs nervously and runs off before slipping and falling into the fountain; Felix offers him a washcloth]'' Oh, thanks, Felix.
:'''Leni''': ''[while being chased by Scoots]'' SECURITY!
:'''Scoots''': ''[angrily chasing after her]'' Get back here, blondie!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Leni''': Gavin, what a surprise.
:'''Gavin''': Oh. Hey, Leni. Hey, Miguel.
:'''Leni''': Miguel, look, it's Gavin!
:'''Miguel''': ''[awkwardly snapping out of it]'' Grey! Sorry. I started to say &quot;greetings&quot;, but then I switched it to &quot;hey.&quot; Ugh!

==''Episode 15''==

===''Save the Last Pants (15.1)''===

===''A Stella Performance (15.2)''===

==''Episode 16''==

===''Hiccups and Downs (16.1)''===
:'''Leni''': Wow. I've never heard a guitar make that sound before.
:'''Lisa''': Negatory. It would appear Luna is having involuntary contractions of the diaphragm. Street name: hiccups, brought on by all of her excitement. They'll cease in no time.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Luna''': The Rumble's tonight, and there's no way I can sing like this! What am I gonna- ''[hiccups]'' -do?!
:'''Lisa''': ''[gasps]'' I know what would cure those: an anti-hiccup elixir. Yeah, if only someone would invent one.
:'''Luna''': ''[hiccups]'' Come on, sibs. One of you has to know how to get rid of my- ''[hiccups and falls to the floor, surrounded by the spilled food]'' Please, you've gotta help me!
:'''Luan''': Aw, Luna. You know we're ''&quot;hicc-up&quot;'' for it, but first things first… ''[grabs a fork; to her siblings]'' Everybody, hurry and eat while she's down!

===''The Loathe Boat (16.2)''===

==''Episode 17''==

===''Stroke of Luck (17.1)''===

===''My Cheer Lady (17.2)''===

==''Episode 18''==

===''Space Jammed (18.1)''===

===''Crown and Dirty (18.2)''===

==''Episode 19''==

===''The Orchid Grief (19.1)''===

===''Forks and Knives Out (19.2)''===

==''Episode 20''==

===''The Loud Cloud (20.1)''===

===''You Auto Know Better (20.2)''===

==''Unnamed Halloween Special (Episode 21)''==

==''Episode 22''==

===''Pop Pop the Question (22.1)''===

===''Lynn and Order (22.2)''===

==''Episode 23''==

===''Snow Escape (23.1)''===

===''Snow News Day (23.2)''===

==''Episode 24''==

===''Day of the Dad (24.1)''===

===''Small Blunder (24.2)''===

==''Episode 25''==

===''Fashion No Show (25.1)''===

===''Doom Service (25.2)''===

==''Episode 26''==

===''The Hurt Lockers (26.1)''===

===''Love Stinks (26.2)''===</text>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-27T14:18:49Z</timestamp>
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----
:'''Seasons:''' [[The Loud House/Season 1|1]] [[The Loud House/Season 2|2]] [[The Loud House/Season 3|3]] [[The Loud House/Season 4|4]] [[The Loud House/Season 5|5]] [[The Loud House/Season 6|6]] ([[The Loud House|Main]]) | '''[[The Casagrandes|Casagrandes]]''' (Seasons [[The Casagrandes/Season 1|1]] [[The Casagrandes/Season 2|2]] [[The Casagrandes/Season 3|3]])
----

'''''{{w|The Loud House}}''''' (2016–present) is an American [[w:animated television series|animated television series]] created by [[w:Chris Savino|Chris Savino]] for [[w:Nickelodeon|Nickelodeon]]. The series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of an accident-prone boy named Lincoln Loud, who survives as the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.

==''Episode 1''==

===''Present Danger (1.1)''===
:'''Gus''': Lincoln! Bravo, buddy, but you gotta get off the table.
:'''Customer''': You have ruined my wife's garlic knots!
:'''Lincoln''': Sorry! ''[gets off the table; to the viewers]'' Well, today's a really big day. It's my 12th birthday! Feels like I've been 11 forever, so this year, I'm doing it in style. David Steele-style. I asked all my friends to come to Gus's dressed as their favorite MALICE villains. You have Golden Toe, Blowfish, Odd Bob, and Patty Whack. So far, it's been great. One moment… Nothing but net. And now that we've finished playing Agents and MALICE, it's time for…
:'''Rita''': Presents!
:'''Lincoln''': Yes!
:'''Liam''': Wahoo!
:'''Zach''': Rusty, the invitation said only Lincoln was supposed to dress up as David Steele.
:'''Rusty''': Sorry, dude. It's not my fault I look amazing in a tuxedo. Besides, check out the Loud seniors.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Well, thanks for coming, everyone. Today is a special day for a special- ''[notices his dad crying]'' Dad, you know if you cry, I'm gonna- ''[he and Leonard both break down sobbing in each other's arms]''
:'''Rita''': Lincoln, I think what your dad was ''trying'' to say is that 12 is a Loud family landmark. He and Gramps have a special present for you. Your great-grandfather gave it to Gramps when he was 12, and Gramps gave it to ''your'' dad when ''he'' was 12.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Room for one more?
:'''Scoots''': Doesn't look like there's room for one more. Because of your dang party, I'm stuck with these two bozos at the loaner's table.
:'''Flip''': Hey, you ain't no picnic yourself there, lady! ''[eats the pizza]''
:'''Chandler''': What do you want there anyway, Lincoln Lame?
:'''Lincoln''': ''[takes a seat]'' Someone nabbed one of my birthday presents, and I think one of you is the culprit. ''[takes out a deck of cards]'' The game is Go Fish. If I win, you have to turn out your pockets.
:'''Chandler''': And what's in it for us?
:'''Lincoln''': If you win, you get to keep all my… ''[close-up on his face] Presents.'' So, are you feeling lucky?
:'''Chandler''': You're on!

===''Stressed for the Part (1.2)''===
:'''Luan''': ''[practicing her moos]'' Moo! Moo! ''[falsetto]'' Moooo!
:'''Mr. Coconuts''': Nah, toots. That's too Holstein. Go lower into your Jersey range.
:'''Luan''': Oh, Mr. Coconuts, I can't wait to tell Mrs. Bernardo I got the part!
:'''Mr. Coconuts''': She'll be over the moooon, toots!
:'''Luan''': Aww.
:''[Suddenly Mrs. Bernardo walks in with her makeup running]''

==''Episode 2''==

===''Don't Escar-go (2.1)''===
:'''Lincoln''': So, what's the occasion, Clyde?
:'''Zach''': Yeah, are you buttering us up for something?
:'''Clyde''': Ok, here goes. The reason I created this ''Célébration de'' Friendship Brunch is because, I've got some big news. It all started last night…
:''[Flashback to earlier, getting a phone call]''
:'''Howard''': Clyde, can you get that? And please be careful. That phone is older than our 1930's Dust Bowl glasses.
:'''Clyde''': ''[picks up the phone and answers]'' Hello?
:'''Nana Gayle''': ''[calling on the other end from Sunset Canyon]'' Clyde, it's Nana Gayle. Ooh, I've got big news. My best friend, Fleur DuPont, just came to town for a surprise visit. She happens to be the dean of one of the finest cooking academies in the world.
:'''Clyde''': I know that academy! It's nearly impossible to get in. They wouldn't even let the Queen of England in. Granted, I've heard her sponge cake is dry-
:'''Nana Gayle''': Clyde, get your buns over here! And bring your baked goods, too! If Fleur tries them, oh, she's sure to let you in.
:''[Clyde hangs up happily; back to the present]''
:'''Zach''': So, what happened?
:'''Clyde''': She loved everything I made! In fact, Dean DuPont said I just have to pass one last exam tonight. I have to cook her an entire dinner. If I nail it, I'll be into the academy!
:'''Stella''': Yeah!
:'''Lincoln''': Yeah!
:'''Rusty''': Yeah, alright! ''[Clyde starts sniffing]'' Clyde, what's wrong?
:'''Clyde''': ''[sniffs]'' There's only one drawback: The school's in… Paris.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[despaired]'' NOOOOOOOOO! ''[collapses]''
:'''Liam''': Aww, it's happening again. Clyde's leaving us, just like when Lincoln done went to Canada.
:'''Clyde''': Let's not lose our heads here. I'm not 1,000% sure I'm going yet. They might not even pick me.
:'''Rusty''': Your food is divine. Of course you'll get in.
:'''Clyde''': I'll miss you guys like crazy, but this is an incredible opportunity. Where else could I learn to cook ''sole meunière, concombre a la menthe, escargot--''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[brushes the imagination aside]'' Wait, Clyde. What if you could learn to cook all those things here in Royal Woods? I know someone who can teach you. Then we wouldn't lose you.
:'''Rusty''': Ooh, give it a try, Clyde. Please?
:'''Stella''': Yeah, we're your crew, table 10 at lunch, the Action News Team! We have to stick together.
:'''Clyde''': But who are you thinking could teach me?
:'''Lincoln''': I know just the guy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Royal Woods Middle School cafeteria; the gang talks to Chef Pat]''
:'''Stella''': Chef Pat, do you know anything about French cooking?
:'''Chef Pat''': Pfft, I know everything. I used to be the head chef on a 60-foot yacht off the French Riviera. Here. ''[takes a buckwheat galette out of her hair net]'' Try a nutty buckwheat galette.
:'''Zach''': Nutty. Smooth. So why do you cook sloppy joes all the time?
:'''Chef Pat''': 'Cause that's what you kids like. ''[walks into the kitchen]''
:'''Lincoln''': Chet Pat, you ''have'' to teach Clyde all about French cooking, or else he's moving to Paris. ''[slides on his knees; begging]'' Please!
:'''Chef Pat''': Hmm. That's a lot to ask, but I'll do it, on one condition. While I'm with Clyde, you guys gotta take care of my niece, Waffles. If she tries to bite you, give her waffles. They calm her down.

===''Double Trouble (2.2)''===
:''[The Loud twin sisters arrive at Auntie Pam's contest for all the twins of Royal Woods]''
:'''Lola''': First rule of any contest: Know your enemy, and you can never lose. Who's gonna be our biggest threat?
:'''Lana''': Mr. Grouse and Flip?
:'''Lola''': ''[screeches her jeep to a stop]'' Um, what are you two trying to pull? You're not even related!
:'''Mr. Grouse''': What? You don't see the resemblance? ''[he and Flip both tug their mustaches]''
:'''Flip''': Ooh, it's in the flavor savers. ''[they both walk away, chuckling]''
:'''Lola''': Ugh.
:'''Lana''': And what's Liam doing here?
:'''Liam''': ''[to his twin goats]'' Okay, fellers, eye of the tiger.
:'''Lola''': His twins aren't even human!
:'''Liam''': Huh? They got every right to be here.
:'''Scoots''': ''[honks and pulls up]'' Uh, anyone seen my twin sister Mopes? She looks just like me, except for she's on a moped. ''[drives off]''
:'''Lola''': No way Scoots has a twin! The universe would never be so cruel.
:'''Mopes''': ''[pulls up]'' Anyone seen my twin sister Scoots? She looks just like me, except for she's on a scooter. ''[drives off]''
:'''Lola''': Okay, Scoots' sister is obviously just her in a wig. This contest is going to be an ice cream cake walk.
:'''Lana''': Yeah, we're the only ''real'' twins here.
:'''Cheryl''': ''[showing up with Meryl]'' Stop the presses! 'Cause Cheryl…
:'''Meryl''': And Meryl…
:'''Both''': Have arrived!
:'''Cheryl''': Sorry for being tardy, y'all. We may have gotten sucked into an episode of our favorite soap opera, &quot;Southern Hospitality.&quot;
:'''Auntie Pam''': ''[blowing her whistle]'' Alrighty, who's ready to twin it up? Let's get this competition started!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Auntie Pam''': ''[sees Liam's twin goats fighting; blowing her whistle]'' Disqualified!
:'''Liam''': Disqualified? For what?
:'''Auntie Pam''': ''[pulls out a contract]'' Violation of Auntie Pam's Double Trouble Contract. I can't have my twins fighting. They need to be united.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[As the Double Trouble contest comes to an end at sunset…]''
:'''Auntie Pam''': Our two final teams are Cheryl and Meryl, and Lola and Lana. And now for the big moment. Our Double Trouble twins and winners of a lifetime supply of ice cream are…lo and behold, Cheryl and Meryl!
:''[Cheryl and Meryl gasp and squeal in delight over winning; The Loud twins sigh in disappointment and drive back home]''
:'''Lola''': It's not fair! That crown and ice cream should be ''ours!'' ''[gasps and screeches her jeep to a stop as she and Lana see Liam's twin goats fighting over his shirt]''
:'''Liam''': ''[bursts out of a bush, going after them]'' Hey, wait up, fellers!
:'''Lana''': At least we didn't get disqualified for fighting, right?
:'''Lola''': ''[gets an idea]'' Fight clause. Lana, maybe there's a way we can ''still'' win! Cheryl and Meryl just need to start bickering, and Auntie Pam will make ''us'' the Double Trouble twins!
:'''Lana''': But how do we know they'll fight?
:'''Lola''': 'Cause you and I are going to ''make'' them.
:''[Next day at elementary school; Lana is walking with Cheryl on their snack break]''
:'''Lana''': Thanks for the snack break, Cheryl.
:'''Cheryl''': My pleasure, sugar.
:'''Lana''': I've never heard a person talk as much as Cheryl. She said, like, a gazillion sentences, and they all started with &quot;sugar.&quot;
:'''Lola''': Does that mean you got the scoop on how to split up her and Meryl?
:'''Lana''': It won't be easy. Those two are ''tight.'' They eat ice cream together every night. They watch ''all'' the same TV shows, like &quot;Southern Hospitality.&quot; They even double-date with their boyfriends.
:'''Lola''': ''[thinking]'' Hmm, I can work with all that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Cheryl''': ''[screams as she slips in the melted ice cream and falls on her back; angrily]'' Meryl, did you spill the ice cream?! Now we got a dairy river the size of the Mississippi on our floor!
:'''Meryl''': ''[miffed]'' Don't blame me, I didn't do it!
:''[They growl angrily at each other]''
:'''Cheryl''': Well, no use cryin' over spilled ice cream. We got plenty more in the backup freezer.
:'''Lola''': ''[disappointed]'' Ugh!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Meryl''': ''[answers the telephone]'' Yello, Che-Meryl residence. You got Meryl.
:'''Lola''': ''[impersonating Cheryl]'' Hey, sugar, it's me, your sister.
:'''Meryl''': Hey, sugar.
:'''Lola''': I'm in a bit of a pickle here at school. Huggins has a bee in his office. Actually, a ''lot'' of bees.
:'''Lana''': ''[hold a jar of bees]'' Come home safe, my babies. ''[takes the jar lid off, releasing the bees]''
:'''Lola''': I'm fixing to be here awhile. You should go ahead and watch the season finale of &quot;Southern Hospitality&quot; without me.
:'''Meryl''': What? Well, that don't sound like you at all! You serious about this?
:'''Lola''': As serious as a hoedown.
:'''Meryl''': Ooh, that is serious. And I am chompin' at the bit to find out this pie thief. Ooh, okay. I'll watch.
:''[The Loud twins high five as they hear Cheryl and Principal Huggins running away from the bees]''
:'''Cheryl''': ''[screaming]'' Run, Huggins! They think my beehive is ''their'' beehive!
:''[Cheryl and Meryl's apartment, evening; Meryl is watching the season finale, sobbing while blowing her nose]''
:'''Cheryl''': ''[enters the apartment, covered in bee stings]'' Ooh, boy, did I have a dickens of a day. ''[realizes]'' And are you watching the &quot;Southern Hospitality&quot; finale without me?
:'''Meryl''': Uh, you called and told me to.
:'''Cheryl''': That is a backhoe of lies! I think I would remember something like that!
:'''Meryl''': You calling me a fibber?!
:'''Cheryl''': If the kitten heel fits!
:'''Meryl''': How dare you?!
:'''Cheryl''': Hmph! ''[turns around]''
:'''Meryl''': Oh, and BTDubs, Wayland is the pie thief! ''[blows her nose as her sister gasps in horror at the spoilers, and they both go their separate ways]''
:''[The Loud twins smirk at each other while watching]''
:''[Next day at Auntie Pam's parlor; Cheryl and Meryl are still angry with each other during the unveiling of the Double Trouble sundae]''
:'''Auntie Pam''': Welcome all to the debut of our Double Trouble sundae. Exciting, isn't it, Double Trouble twins? ''[takes out the ceremonial scissors]'' Who wants to cut the ribbon?
:'''Meryl''': ''[takes the scissors]'' ''I'll'' do it.
:'''Cheryl''': I'm surprised you haven't already done it without me, you low-down pie thief spoiler!
:'''Meryl''': ''[spitefully cuts her sister's hair with the scissors as the crowd gasps]'' Oops.
:'''Auntie Pam''': ''[gasps]'' Ok, ladies, settle down.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lana''': The sign-up line for our Unlimited Double Trouble ice cream party starts here!
:'''Lola''': And remember, it's VIPs only.
:'''Cheryl''': ''[over P.A.; upset]'' Morning… ''[sobbing]'' Roosters. Today's lunch will be two identical twin fish sticks! Sorry, Principal Huggins, it's just that Meryl is ''gone!'' ''[sobbing hysterically; the Loud twins rush over investigating as Principal Huggins comforts her]'' After our tussle at Auntie Pam's parlor, we was both madder than wet hens, so this morning, Meryl packed up her stuff and left for the bus station! ''[Lola and Lana look even more guilty for what they have both done as she continues sobbing]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Meryl''': What is ''she'' doing here?
:'''Lola''': Look, Meryl, if you want to be mad someone, be mad at us.
:'''Lana''': Yeah, we wanted ice cream so bad, we tricked you two into fighting.
:''[Cheryl and Meryl gasp upon hearing this]''
:'''Lola''': It was stupid, and we feel so terrible. If anyone knows how much twins need each other, it's us.
:'''Lana''': Yeah, you can't leave, Meryl. Twins gotta stick together.
:'''Meryl''': ''[looks down at her twin, smiles back]'' Well, I guess I could stay. After all, you ''are'' the soft serve to my waffle cone.
:'''Cheryl''': ''[squeals and hops into her twin's arms]'' We gotta celebrate our reunion!
:''[Auntie Pam's; the two pair of twins are all enjoying their ice cream]''
:'''Lola''': You know, you should throw more twin soirees.
:'''Scoots''': ''[drives in]'' I heard about the twin party. Guess our invite got lost in the mail.
:'''Lola''': Spare us, Scoots. We know your &quot;sister,&quot; Mopes, isn't real.
:'''Mopes''': ''[showing up in the flesh]'' What are you lookie-loos staring at?
:'''Scoots''': You never seen twins before?

==''Episode 3''==

===''Flip This Flip (3.1)''===
:'''Lincoln''': Um, what's going on?
:''[Nacho chitters while pointing at the label of Gobblesworth Farm, swooning over it, and makes smooching noises]''
:'''Lana''': OK, from what I understand- my raccoon's a little rusty- the lady on the framed turkey label is Flip's old middle school crush, um… Tommy Hogglesfort?
:'''Flip''': Tammy Gobblesworth! ''[sighs]'' My one true love. I always thought she and I would eat food off of other people's plates together forever. ''[flashback to the middle school Christmas dance]'' But then I got locked out of the school dance and missed my one shot to impress her! ''[collapses after the flashback fades back to the present]''
:''[Nacho chitters more while pointing at the label and pantomime acts like a chicken]''
:'''Lana''': ''[translating]'' Ever since Flip found the label, he's been attempting to call and ask her to dinner, but he keeps chickening out.
:'''Flip''': ''[popping up]'' Hey, chickening out is a bit harsh.
:'''Lincoln''': Flip, you can totally do this. There's nothing to be afraid of.
:'''Lana''': Yeah. You're Flip Phillipini. You're a legend!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Welcome to Flip This Flip, where we take people that are complete disasters and make them shiny and new. Let's meet our panel of experts.
:'''Lana''': Lana: Hygiene.
:'''Leni''': Leni: Fashion.
:'''Lola''': Lola: Etiquette.
:'''Lisa''': Lisa: Interesting Conversation.
:'''Lincoln''': Lincoln: Transportation. What? You guys took all the good categories.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Flip''': You did your best, Loudsters. I blew it with Tammy.
:'''Lana''': ''[gasps]'' Blew it. Yes! ''[inhales and blows the French horn, sending Flip flying in the air with his outfit coming off, and slides on the floor in front of Tammy]''
:'''Tammy''': Oh, Phillip, are you okay? And where are your pants?
:'''Flip''': I gotta level with you, Tammy. Uh, I'm not a fancy tuxedo-wearing guy who oozes sophistication. The only thing I ooze is nacho cheese. Seriously, my sweat's orange. I was only trying to impress you 'cause you're so classy and glamorous. I'm not classy, I'm just gassy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': ''[to the viewers while peddling]'' Next time, I'm hiring a limo.

===''Haunted House Call (3.2)''===
:'''Lucy''': Okay, salespeople, normies love cheerfulness. Let's see those smiles. ''[The other Morticians make weird creepy smiles on their faces]'' Forget the smiles. ''[rings the doorbell as Mr. Grouse answers the door]'' Gloomy morning, Mr. Grouse. Would you be interested in buying some homemade eyeball pops?
:'''Persephone''': We're raising money to attend Casket Con this weekend.
:'''Morpheus''': They'll be unveiling the new Model C casket from Caskets R Us. It hovers, thereby totally removing the need for polders.
:'''Boris''': We're running a special. Four eyeball pops for the price of three.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': Not now, creepy Loud and you creepy friends. I've got my own problem. I can't catch my couch to take a nap!
:''[Inside the house, his furniture is floating]''
:'''Dante''': Oh, yeah. That's a ghost problem.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': What was your first clue? When my loveseat walked itself into the kitchen?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lucy''': Good morrow. Are you haunted by a specter?
:'''Morticians''': ♪ If a ghost is haunting you / And you have no clue what to do ♪
:'''Dante''': ''[dressed in a bedsheet while hanging]'' ♪ Don't just stand and scream ♪ ''[bumps into the camera]''
:'''Morticians''': ♪ Call the number on your screen ♪
:'''Lucy''': And now, we wait for customers.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Rodney''': It's destroying my clothing and spilling my most expensive cologne: Night Sweat! You have to help me!
:'''Lucy''': Ghost, reveal yourself. ''[A ghost dude, wearing a tuxedo T-shirt reveals himself]'' Spirit, what is your unfinished business here?
:'''Dude Ghost''': I was supposed to be buried in a real tux, but this joker put me in a tuxedo T-shirt! I want a refund!
:'''Rodney''': No refunds! Besides, your order form just said tuxedo, so I went with our casual package.
:'''Dude Ghost''': I can't cross over in this! I'll be laughed out of the afterlife!
:'''Rodney''': Hmph!
:'''Haiku''': What about an exchange?
:''[Later, Rodney has dressed the ghost dude in a genuine tuxedo]''
:'''Dude Ghost''': Now this is what I'm talking about.
:'''Rodney''': And here's your complementary bottle of Night Sweat!
:'''Dude Ghost''': ''[flinches in disgust]'' Yeah, I'm good.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Liam''': ''[as donkey Dolly's ghostly spirit reveals herself; gasps]'' It's Mee-Maw's prized donkey, Dolly.
:'''Persephone''': Do you know why Dolly is haunting you?
:'''Liam''': I do. I once broke our fence mud-wrestling with Virginia. And then, blamed it on Dolly. ''[Dolly brays angrily]'' I know. Ain't a moment I'm too proud of. Dolly, I'm gonna make this right. ''[walks into his house; off-screen]'' Brace yourself, Mee-Maw. You're about to be madder than a wet peacock.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Cheryl and Meryl's apartment; The TV is changing the channel back and forth from &quot;Southern Hospitality&quot; to &quot;Hipster Island&quot;]''
:'''Cheryl''': Somethin' keeps changing our channel. And we're missing the season finale of &quot;Southern Hospitality!&quot;
:'''Lucy''': This is ''definitely'' the work of a ghost. Spirit, show yourself.
:''[The ghostly spirit of a hipster appears, sitting next to the twins as they gasp]''
:'''Hipster Ghost''': This used to be my pad, brahs. And I need to find out who rid &quot;Hipster Island.&quot;
:'''Cheryl''': I use bra pads, too. But we gotta see if Sue Ellen chooses Brad or his evil twin, Chad.
:'''Lucy''': You could ''always'' record &quot;Southern Hospitality&quot;, and watch it later.
:'''Cheryl''': Well, we'll have to delete some of our crime shows, but, it's a deal. Make yourself comfy, I'll be right back with three bowls of ice cream.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lucy''': Nice doing business with you. Let's get you back to the portal and--
:'''Buzz''': Change of plans: Turns out, haunting people is the bee's knees.
:'''Persephone''': But what about the afterlife?
:'''Buzz''': Overrating. Later! ''[flies away]''
:'''Persephone''': Buzz is going to terrorize all of Royal Woods if we don't stop him.
:'''Haiku''': But Casket Con's only open for another hour. We're going to miss the unveiling of the Model C.
:'''Lucy''': Sigh. We created this mess, so we need to clean it up.

==''Save Royal Woods! (Episode 4)''==
:'''Lincoln''': ''[speaks to the crowd in the microphone, through Todd's megaphones]'' Hey, everyone. If I could have your attention. ''[the crowd catches their attention]'' Maybe Royal Woods ''is'' forgettable, but it doesn't have to stay that way. We could have something like those other towns, something to put us on the map.
:'''Clyde''': Then Joyce wouldn't flood our town. Lincoln, that's brilliant! But what could we create that would make Royal Woods seem memorable?
:'''Lincoln''': I bet if we put our heads together, we can come up with something amazing. So who's ready to save our town?
:''[The crowd cheers in agreement; Next day, Mayor Davis gives Lincoln a button reading '''&quot;Honorary Jr. Mayor&quot;''']''
:'''Lincoln''': Whoa. &quot;Honorary Jr. Mayor?&quot; Thanks, Mayor Davis.
:'''Mayor Davis''': It's the least I can do since you're helping to save the town.
:'''Lincoln''': So do I get to play your keyboard?
:'''Mayor Davis''': ''[plays buzzing sound on her keyboard, sternly]'' Don't push it, kid. ''[cheerfully]'' OK, time to hear ideas to save Royal Woods.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Undersecretary Crandall, thanks for coming.
:'''Joyce''': I hope this is good. I had to leave a meeting to pick the fish to stock Lake Gladys with. Spoiler alert: We are definitely leaning toward carp.
:'''Mayor Davis''': Actually, we think you might just change your mind about flooding your town.
:'''Joyce''': I'm sorry, but like I told you before, there is nothing that can cha-- ''[notices the giant Flippee; shocked]'' That's-that's…
:'''Albert''': The world's largest Flippee! HA! What do you think about them apples, huh? To be clear, it's not apple. It's actually sparkle berry cherry.
:'''Joyce''': Well, it is as big as the frying pan and less dangerous than the piranhas. Ugh, I guess there's no way we can put a lake here now. The flooding is off.
:''[All the citizens cheers when the giant Flippee suddenly starts shaking]''
:'''Citizens''': What's happening?!
:'''Lincoln''': Flip, what's going on?!
:'''Flip''': ''[sheepishly nervous]'' Uh, hey, Flippee syrup ain't cheap. I figured no one would drink it.
:'''Lola''': ''[seizes Flip by the collar, angrily]'' What did you do, old man?!
:'''Flip''': I may have swapped the syrup with some expired gasoline that wasn't selling. Is that really so bad?
:'''Lisa''': Short answer, yes. The gasoline is adversely reacting with my hyper-freeze additive, causing an accelerated release of energy, resulting in expanded volume.
:'''Todd''': '''In layman's terms, it's gonna blow.'''
:''[The giant Flippee explodes and covers everyone]''
:'''Joyce''': ''[fuming with rage]'' I will be back tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. with the demolition team! Royal Woods is history. ''[the giant Flippee tips over off the gas station, and destroys her car]'' YOU CRUSHED MY CAR! ''[screams as she notices something else]'' Donna! ''[angrily to the citizens]'' Make that 9:00 a.m.! ''GOODBYE, ROYAL WOODS!'' ''[storms off with fury]''
:''[End of Act 1; Beginning Act 2]''
:'''Flip''': ''[breaks down, sobbing]'' I'm sorry, everyone. The world's largest Flippee flopped! ''[Nacho chitters accusatively at him]'' Of course I regret using expired gas, Nacho! How can you ask me that?!
:'''Lincoln''': Wait! Everyone! I have a new idea that might save our town! Where's Todd?
:'''Todd''': '''I believe you, Lincoln.''' ''[starts chanting]'' '''Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln, Linc-''' ''[realizes everyone staring in confusion]'' '''Oh. We're not doing that?''' ''[deploys his PA system]''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[through microphone]'' Undersecretary Crandall said Royal Woods is history.
:'''Flip''': Why would you remind us of that?!
:'''Lincoln''': What if Royal Woods did have some kind of important history? Then she couldn't flood us.
:'''Lisa''': Elder brother, might I remind you that Royal Woods has no interesting history? We were named after an oak tree. ''[points to an old oak tree commemorated with a plaque as a branch falls off]'' That one.
:'''Lincoln''': I know, but Undersecretary Crandall doesn't. Royal Woods has the word &quot;royal&quot; in it. Maybe there's something there. I know we'd be making up a big lie, but it's the only way to save our town.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Joyce''': ''[notices something off]'' Huh? What's this?
:'''Lincoln''': No, actually, we need that back. It's on loan from the, uh, Royal Woods Museum.
:'''Joyce''': Not so fast, kid. Hmm… ''[reading on the crown]'' '''&quot;Lola Loud, Little Miss Crowning Achievement?&quot;''' ''[gasps]'' You all made this whole thing up! King George never came through here!
:'''Lola''': ''[chuckles sheepishly as she takes her crown back]'' I'll take that.
:'''Joyce''': ''[groans angrily; on walkie-talkie]'' Bring that wrecking ball! We've got a sixth Great Lake to make.
:'''Luan''': I guess it's time to say goodbye to Royal Woods.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Joyce''': ''[hopping out of the roller]'' That was a beautiful song, but I'm still going to bust this dam and flood you.
:'''Lincoln''': What?!
:'''Demolition Worker #1''': Well, we're not! That kid with the white hair is right! This town ''is'' special, and so is my town!
:'''Demolition Worker #2''': And so is mine. No town deserves to be flooded by you. Get your promotion some other way, Crandall. We don't want a sixth lake.
:'''Joyce''': ''[groans in annoyance]'' You bunch of babies! Ugh! ''[heads back into the roller]'' Come on, Donna, we'll do it ourselves.
:'''Lola''': I don't know. Might not be the best look to flood a precious small town on live television.
:'''Katherine''': This is Katherine Mulligan, covering the destruction of my town in HD-
:'''Joyce''': ''[yanks Katherine away from the camera; chuckles nervously]'' I mean, I would never flood this beautiful town. ''[waves]'' Hi, Mom, happy birthday!
:'''Todd''': ''[offering her a phone]'' '''Call for you.'''
:'''Oversecretary''': ''[on phone]'' ''Joyce, this is the Oversecretary. I saw everything. Bulldozing a perfectly good town on live TV? '''YOU'RE FIRED!'''
:''[Joyce screams in despair after being fired from her job]''
:'''Todd''': ''[pats Joyce on the back, comforting her]'' '''There, there.'''
:'''Joyce''': Don't touch me.
:'''Lincoln''': We did it! Royal Woods is saved!
:''[Everyone cheers]''
:'''Lynn''': You did it, Stinkin'!
:'''Leni''': OMGosh, Lincoln, you're a hero.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': Yeah, thanks, Loud. Way to go.
:'''Lincoln''': I'm just glad we can all stay. 'Cause…
:'''Citizens''': ''[singing again]'' ♪ We're right, we're right, we're right where we belong (Ba-ba-da-) ♪
:'''Joyce''': ''[angrily interrupting]'' PUT A CORK IN IT! ''[groans]'' WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE AND YOUR IMPROMPTU SINGING?! ''[growling as she leaves]''
:'''Citizens''': ''[finishing up]'' ♪ We're right where we belong! ♪

==''Episode 5''==

===''The Taunting Hour (5.1)''===
:'''Rita''': ''[worried]'' I've never seen Lynn freeze up like that. I hope she doesn't take it too hard.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Evening at the Loud House; The criticized Louds burst through the front door, and begin berating Lincoln]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Oh, he is in for it!
:'''Lola''': There he is!
:''[Lincoln screams as the couch tips over and himself]''
:'''Luna''': Why'd you have to tell us about our haters, dude?!
:'''Lisa''': Now we're ''all'' freezing up!
:'''Lincoln''': Look, I'm sorry I told you guys about your critics. I was just only trying to help Lynn.
:'''Lynn''': ''[irately punches a hole in the door]'' STINKOLN!
:'''Lincoln''': ''[nervously]'' I hope that's a happy &quot;Stinkoln&quot;.
:'''Lynn''': Your dumb &quot;cure&quot; ''DIDN'T'' cure me! Scoots heckled me some more and now I've got emu legs again! Wasn't even at a game. It was at the mall food court!
:'''Lincoln''': Lynn, why are you paying attention to Scoots? Why are ''any'' of you paying attention to those people? It doesn't matter what they say.
:'''Mr. Coconuts''': It's easy for you to say! You don't have to deal with it!
:'''Lola''': You just go around ruining lives!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lynn''': Dude, that Chandler's a real jerk.
:'''Lincoln''': Yeah, he is. ''[jumps off the sofa]'' But he doesn't bother me, and that's the whole point. I mean, at first he really got to me, but the more I ignored him, the easier it got. Plus, why should I care what he has to say? I'm doing what I love, and that's all that matters.
:'''Rita''': And if you can handle Chandler, I think we can handle our critics. Right, everyone?
:'''Luna''': Totally.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Yeah, I guess so.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': Hey, Loud!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[covers his ears with his fingers]'' Ah, I can't hear you, Grouse!
:'''Mr. Grouse''': I was just going to tell you-
:'''Lynn Sr.''': I'm blocking out the haters! ''[starts singing]'' ♪ La la la la- ♪
:'''Mr. Grouse''': You forgot to put on the parking brake again.
:''[Lynn Sr.'s eyes widen in horror; Outside, Vanzilla starts rolling backwards]''
:'''Kids''': Dad, Vanzilla!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[chases after his van and screams]'' BABY, PLEASE COME BACK! I'M SO SORRY!!!

===''Musical Chairs (5.2)''===
:''[Lincoln feels dejected after getting to change to another seat in Mr. Bolhofner's class at lunchtime]''
:'''Clyde''': What's wrong, Lincoln? You've barely touched the cheesecake bites I made you. Is the cheese-to-cake ratio not to your liking?
:'''Lincoln''': No, Clyde. The ratio is perfect, per usual. It's just, I don't know what to do. Bolhofner won't change my seat.
:'''Rusty''': Three words, bro: &quot;Butter him up.&quot;
:'''Liam''': Oh, he ain't wrong. ''[grabs a stick of butter]'' One time Virginia, she got her head stuck in a fence and we used a whole mess of margarine to get her out. The key is to rub it around the jowls like so. ''[rubs the butter on his cheeks]''
:'''Clyde''': ''[disgusted]'' Ugh.
:'''Rusty''': I meant he's gotta charm the man.
:'''Liam''': ''[chuckles]'' I knew that. Just testing y'all. ''[eats the butter]''
:'''Rusty''': A while back, I wanted to go skydiving with my cousin, Derek, but my dad wouldn't let me, so I spent the whole week doing nice things for him. And bam, check it! ''[plays a video of him skydiving with his cousin while screaming]''
:'''Lincoln''': Hmm. Maybe I should try buttering up the Hof.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The next day at Mr. Bolhofner's trailer; Mr. Bolhofner is grading papers]''
:'''Mr. Bolhofner''': Nope.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[enters]'' So, Mr. B, how was the band practice? That I set up, which I was glad to do, by the way?
:'''Mr. Bolhofner''': ''[chuckles]'' Yeah, right. Ugh.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[sighs]'' I guess I'll take my seat, then.
:''[Chandler has set up a bucket of hot sauce above Lincoln's seat, laughing evilly]''
:'''Mr. Bolhofner''': That's not your seat, Loud! You sit ''there'' now.
:''[He points to Lincoln's new seat, which has a bright light upon it]''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[smugly]'' Bye-bye, Chandler. ''[leaves to his new seat]''
:''[Chandler growls as he dumps the hot sauce on the seat, destroying it in the process]''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[relaxes in his new seat, and is elated to find it can recline at the push of a button]'' Whoa.
:'''Student''': Chocolate? ''[offers a box of chocolates]'' I always have extras.
:'''Lincoln''': Wow, thank you! ''[takes them]''
:'''Student''': Oh, and if you ever get tense, I keep a massager under my desk! Feel free to use it!
:'''Lincoln''': Really? I wouldn't want to impose- ''[the student puts the massager on his neck]'' Oh, yeah. ''[the bell rings; the student reaches for the massager]'' Leave it.

==''Episode 6''==

===''A Bug's Strife (6.1)''===
:''[The Louds are walking out of the house and into Vanzilla]''
:'''Rita''': Oh! Double check, make sure I have my key. Mm. ''[her husband comes out, looking quite sick]'' Honey, you shouldn't be out here. Go back inside and get to bed.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': I just wanted to see you guys off. I'll miss you while you're at Aunt Ruth's today. It's a ding-dang shame I'm going to miss the slideshow of her bus tour of &quot;the Malls of the Midwest.&quot; ''[sneezes]''
:'''Rita''': Aw. Gesundheit. It's okay. Aunt Ruth will totally understand.
:'''Lola''': ''[walking out of the house; annoyed]'' It's not fair. Why does Daddy get to stay home? ''[Lynn Sr. sneezes again; disgusted]'' Ugh, question answered.
:'''Rita''': Get lots of rest. We'll see you tonight. ''[walks into Vanzilla and starts backing up]''
:'''Leni''': Bye, Dad!
:'''Lynn''': Feel better, Pops.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Aunt Ruth's house; In the living room, she is showing the Louds her Malls of the Midwest slideshow; Leni is the only one interested in watching]''
:'''Aunt Ruth''': And here's a bathroom stall from a mall in Indianapolis. This one had auto-flushing like the ones at a fancy steakhouse.
:'''Lynn''': ''[bored out of her mind]'' Dad's so lucky to be home sleeping. Ugh.
:'''Aunt Ruth''': Shh! Lynn, you're gonna miss the massage chairs at the mall at Walnut Grove!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Lynn Sr. rushes over to Mr. Grouse's house and knocks on the door]''
:'''Mr. Grouse''': No one's home! Go away!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Mr. Grouse, I need your help!
:'''Mr. Grouse''': ''[opens the door]'' Oh, lookie, it's a Loud. Shocker. What do you want, and how fast can I get rid of you?
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Remember the spare key I gave you for emergencies? Well, this is an emergency.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': Oh, yeah, sure. I keep it in a bowl right here. ''[shows a bowl that's filled with countless keys]'' Yeah, this might take a minute.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Rita''': Oh, honey, you must've been so delirious you trashed the house! I had no idea you were ''this'' sick. You need to get to bed immediately. ''[the porch suddenly collapses, sending both her and her husband to the ground]'' But not here. Kids, come on. We have to go.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Ah! Move to Canada. Smart. Chirpy won't find us there. ''[chuckles]''
:'''Rita''': No. We'll stay with Aunt Ruth until the house is repaired. She'll be happy to help nurse you back to health. I should warn you, though, she'll ''want'' to show you her Malls of the Midwest slideshow.

===''All the Rage (6.2)''===
:'''Zach''': You mad 'cause your favorite contestant cheated?
:'''Clyde''': Zamir didn't cheat! He would ''never'' cheat!
:'''Lincoln''': Maybe you can root for a different contestant. What about Maneet?
:'''Clyde''': Maneet's cream puffs… ''[his eyes glow red, muscles bulge, and clenches his fist in fury]'' '''''ARE DRY!''''' ''[begins throwing dodgeballs in rage]''
:'''Stella''': Guys, I think we just won.

==''Episode 7''==

===''Scoop Snoop (7.1)''===
:''[Royal Woods Middle School; Liam is recording the footage of Stella reporting of an owner with their pet]''
:'''Stella''': This is Stella Zhau reporting. ''[suspiciously]'' Someone's been letting their pet go potty here on the school field and not cleaning it up. Well, the Action News Team are here to reveal the &quot;poop-etrator.&quot; ''[gasps and looks ahead to see a &quot;dog&quot; with their owner both wearing identical disguises]'' Here they come now! Kangaroos, time to bust some scum!
:''[As Liam and Stella run over to the owner and their &quot;dog&quot;, they are outsped by Katherine Mulligan and her cameraman]''
:'''Liam''': What?!
:'''Katherine''': This is a Katherine Mulligan news exclusive. I'm unmasking the serial pet pooper. ''[takes the hat off the owner, revealing to be Vic]'' The owner is Vic. And the pet pooper is Gilly!
:'''Liam''': ''[confused]'' Jumpin' jackalopes. How in the world did she steal ''our'' story?
:''[Sunset Canyon Retirement Home; Zach is recording the footage of Rusty with an &quot;old lady&quot; at a table writing on a piece of paper in the background behind him]''
:'''Rusty''': The Action News Team has received a tip that somebody famous is hiding out here disguised as an old lady. Prepare to have your minds blown.
:'''Katherine''': ''[pops out from under the table]'' I'm Katherine Mulligan exposing this &quot;little old lady&quot; as… ''[pulls the wig/mask off, revealing…]'' Mick Swagger in disguise. He's holed up here as he writes songs for his new album, &quot;Mick or Treat.&quot;
:'''Zach''': ''[annoyed in anger]'' Hey, that was ''our'' scoop!
:'''Scoots''': ''[wheeling over and points to him]'' Nobody punks ''us,'' Brit boy! PUDDING HIM!
:''[The Action News Team are peddling their bikes to Gus' Games and Grub]''
:'''Lincoln''': This is the story of the century. 
:'''Stella''': It's cool of Gus to tip us off he's discontinuing spaghetti pizza.
:'''Clyde''': ''[sobbing]'' It's a dark day for the culinary world. ''[he and Lincoln bump into the back of Katherine's '''NEWS 3''' van and fall off]''
:'''Action News Team''': ''[gasp]'' Oh, no!
:'''Katherine''': This is the ''last'' bite of the last slice of the last spaghetti pizza Gus will ''ever'' serve. ''[eats the last bite-sized piece]'' I'm Katherine Mulligan reporting that you'll never know just how delicious that was.
:'''Stella''': ''[annoyed]'' I don't get it! How does Katherine Mulligan keep scooping us?!
:'''Rusty''': Someone has to be leaking to her. My cousin Derek's studying to be a plumber. He says; &quot;You have to find a leak and plug it, or it gets worse.&quot;
:'''Lincoln''': Rusty's right. If we don't do something, this could be the end of The Action News Team.
:'''Clyde''': Wait. Can we a moment of silence for… ''[sniffles sadly]'' spaghetti pizza?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Clyde''': We're never gonna find the leak at this rate. There are too many people at school to investigate.
:'''Rusty''': ''[eating a bowl of grapes]'' We shouldn't be following the rat, we should wait at the nest.
:'''Liam''': Then what in the manure pile does that even mean?
:'''Rusty''': Katherine ''is'' the nest, dawgs! If we follow her, the &quot;leaker&quot;, or &quot;rat&quot;, is gonna come to her.
:'''Lincoln''': Then we'll have our culprit! Rusty, that's a brilliant idea! Looks like it's time for an Action News Team undercover investigation!
:''[The Action News Team poses; Next morning, Lincoln, Clyde, and Stella are outside in front of Katherine's house, suspiciously watching her from the bushes as she eats a Danish that popped out from the toaster]''
:'''Lincoln''': 8:02. Katherine takes a bite of Danish.
:'''Stella''': Roger that.
:'''Rusty''': ''[popping out]'' 'Sup, dudes?
:'''Stella''': Rusty, you're late! ''[sniffs with disgust]'' Ugh, what's that awful smell?
:'''Rusty''': I was helping my dad pick a cologne to wow his gal pal. He lands it on Undersea Daydream.
:''[Lincoln, Clyde and Stella gag over the scent and gasp as Katherine exits her house and hide behind the bushes; Katherine gets into her car and drives off - humming a tune]''
:'''Lincoln''': Suspect's on the move. Let's go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Katherine and her cameraman are eating lunch at the Burpin' Burger; Liam and Rusty hide in the trash can as Liam pops his hand out out of the lid with his phone, recording the footage]''
:'''Liam''': Rusty, ya got your knee square in my gizzard.
:'''Rusty''': Then stop moving around, dawg!
:'''Liam''': Shh.
:'''Rusty''': ''[as Katherine and her cameraman empty their trays into the trash can]'' Augh! Horseradish in the eye! Ugh.
:'''Katherine''': Katherine Mulligan wants to know, did this garbage can just talk? ''[shrugs and walks off out of sight as soon as Rusty and Liam tip over, exhausted]''
:''[Royal Woods Bowling Alley; Katherine and Patchy Drizzle are bowling against each other as Patchy knocks down the 10 pins]''
:'''Patchy''': Yahoo! Today's forecast: a 100% chance of winning for Patchy Drizzle!
:'''Katherine''': I'm getting some developing news. It ain't over till the last frame. ''[interrupted by Lincoln and Clyde, disguised as their grandmothers as she's about to bowl]''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[imitating Myrtle]'' Don't mind us, sweetie. We're just a couple of senior ladies bowling.
:''[Zach, in his bush disguise, takes out his phone to record the footage, but wobbles and collides with them, rolling them across the alley and knocking down the 10 pins]''
:'''Katherine''': Katherine Mulligan wants to know, did that bush just bowl a strike?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Okay, so Stella made a notebook of some &quot;hot news leads&quot;, but they're all fake. We &quot;accidentally&quot; dropped it here by Principal Ramirez's car. As the &quot;rat,&quot; she &quot;finds it&quot; and takes it to &quot;the nest.&quot; Any questions? 
:'''Clyde''': Can you go over that one more time? I got lost in all the air quotes. 
:'''Lincoln''': I'll explain as we hide.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[A week later, back at Tall Timbers Park, Principal Ramirez meets up with Katherine again]''
:'''Katherine''': Oh. Principal Ramirez. Glad you could make it.
:''[The Action News Team peep from a bush]''
:'''Lincoln''': Gotcha. Principal Ramirez! ''[running towards the two women along with the rest of his team]'' Action News Team!
:'''Katherine''': Excuse me.
:'''Lincoln''': Principal Ramirez, how much has Katherine Mulligan been paying you to steal our news stories?
:'''Principal Ramirez''': I don't know what you're talking about.
:'''Clyde''': ''[holds up his mic in front of her, making her trip into the lake]'' ''We're'' asking the questions here!
:'''Rusty''': The jig is up, Katherine &quot;Shady Shader&quot; Mulligan! The book Principal Ramirez was going to give you is a bunch of phony news leads ''we'' planted. Bam! ''[looks closely at the title on the book cover]'' &quot;Passion under the Pompeii Moon?&quot; Uh-oh.
:'''Principal Ramirez''': ''[angrily snatches the book from Rusty]'' You bet you're &quot;uh-oh.&quot; Ms. Mulligan and I are in a book club together. Now someone get me out of here.
:'''Katherine''': That's the story. We've been meeting to swap novels we're reading.
:'''Stella''': So you weren't leaking our stories?
:'''Principal Ramirez''': ''[brushing the lake water off her skirt]'' Of course not! Is this what you spend your time on, making false accusations?! I have half a mind to shut down the Action News Team.
:'''Stella''': Please, don't.
:'''Rusty''': No, dawg!
:'''Lincoln''': We're sorry.
:'''Liam''': Give us another chance.
:'''Katherine''': I'm Katherine Mulligan and…I agree with these children. Sure they got the story wrong, but they got real drive. It reminds me of me when I was thriving out. I say they deserve a second chance.
:'''Principal Ramirez''': ''[over her mind; annoyed]'' Fine. ''[gets out of the lake as the Action News Team high five in celebration]'' But no more wild goose chases, or knocking principals in lakes.
:'''Zach''': Promise.
:'''Lincoln''': We swear.
:'''Rusty''': It was Zach.

===''Eye Can't (7.2)''===
:'''Lisa''': ''[entering the kitchen]'' Good morn… ''[bumps into Charles]'' When did we put the trash can here?
:'''Rita''': Honey, that's Charles.
:'''Lisa''': Ah, yes, of course. Hmm. Ah! ''Here's'' the orange juice I was looking for. ''[mistakes the flower vase and takes it off the table]''
:'''Rita''': Have you noticed Lisa's been acting a little off this week?
:''[Flashback to Lisa bumping into the end table, and another of her bumping into the stair railing]''
:'''Lisa''': Pardon me, father. ''[cut to her petting a skunk, mistaking it for Cliff]'' Good boy, Cliff. Good boy.
:'''Leni''': ''[frightened]'' Uh, Lisa? That's ''not'' Cliff.
:''[Flashback ends as the skunk sprays on the siblings, screaming off-screen]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Yeah. She needs new glasses.
:'''Lisa''': ''[returns to the kitchen]'' Ah, silly me, I mistook a vase of flowers for orange juice. Ah! ''Here's'' the actual orange juice.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': That's hot coffee! Sweetie, look, Mom and I think it's time for you to go to the eye doctor. 
:'''Lisa''': What? Poppycock! Now if you'll excuse me, I shall be in the living room.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Todd''': ''[while removing the cactus thorns]'' '''What is the problem? It's just the eye doctor.'''
:'''Lisa''': The problem, Todd, is that I have an irrational phobia of the ophthalmologist.
:'''Todd''': '''But that does not compute. You are a genius.'''
:'''Lisa''': I said it was irrational, Todd. And I've tried to train myself to move-past it, but, I can't!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': ''[falls down the stairs and lands flat on her face in front of her parents]'' Problem solved, parents. I've forged myself a new pair of glasses, and all is well. ''[opens her eyes - still abnormal through her glasses]'' 
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Counterpoint, you ''did'' kinda just fall down the stairs.
:'''Lisa''': Eh. You say tomato, I say mildly near-sighted.
:'''Rita''': And I say tomorrow morning ''you'' are going to the eye doctor, and, maybe the pediatrician too to see if you have any damage from that fall.
:'''Lisa''': Fine.

==''Episode 8''==

===''Dine and Bash (8.1)''===
:''[Vanzilla pulls up at Lynn's table and the siblings get out and walk in]''
:'''Todd''': '''Have a good afternoon, sweeties. Don't forget to do your homework. I'll be checking.''' ''[drives away]''
:'''Lisa''': Note to self: Dial back Todd's maternal mode.
:''[As the Loud siblings enter, they're overwhelmed to see the place crowded in a rush]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Oh, good, you're here! Before you jump into homework, I need your help with the afternoon rush.
:'''Lincoln''': No problem. Guys, fan out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Oh, you kids are a big help, especially with Mom off visiting Lori for Mother-Daughter Golf Day. ''[the phone rings and answers it]'' Lynn's Table. Come in if you're able. You've got Lynn.
:'''Kotaro''': Lynn, I have some exciting news. The Doo-Dads just booked a big gig tonight at Sunset Canyon!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[gasps in excitement]'' No we &quot;Dadn't!&quot;
:'''Kotaro''': Yes we &quot;Dad!&quot; It's Bernie's third wedding! He's marrying his lady friend from Boca.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[realizes in disappointment]'' Ohh! Ding, dang, darnit! I have to work the dinner shift. I gave Grant the night off to play &quot;Orcs, Horks, Wizards, and Pork&quot; with his friends.
:'''Grant''': ''[enters the kitchen wearing a wizard costume]'' Many thanks, Spirit Wizard Loud! May your harvest be fruitful this moon! ''[leaves]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': You guys should just do the gig without this Doo-Dad.
:'''Kotaro''': But a band with just one cowbell is no band at all.
:'''Lincoln''': Hey, Dad, what if ''we'' took over the restaurant tonight?
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[touched]'' Aw, that's sweet of you guys, but a night alone's a big responsibility.
:'''Lola''': ''[chuckles]'' We know this place like the back of our flawless hands. Ew! Time for a mani.

===''Sofa, So Good (8.2)''===
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Oh, kids! We have a surprise!
:''[The siblings rush into the living room]''
:'''Lola''': You were saying about a surprise for me?
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[facing the opposite direction]'' Your mother and I have been talking… ''[Rita turns him back the right way]'' Oh, hey everybody. And since it's been seven days since we had any house or life-threatening disasters…
:'''Rita''': We thought you all deserve a big surprise.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[leaves]'' Just keep that streak going a little bit longer.
:'''Rita''': And we'll be back with the surprise by 4:00! ''[leaves and closes the door]''
:'''Lincoln''': I bet it's an indoor pool.
:'''Lucy''': I bet it's a family burial plot.
:'''Lana''': I bet it's a Clydesdale.
:'''Lynn''': I bet it's tickets to Jelly Wrestlefest 1 15!
:'''Lincoln''': No. No. ''[Lynn does a wrestling jump and landed on him as he groans]''
:'''Lisa''': ''[clears throat]'' You can call me the proverbial wet blanket, stick in the mud, resident sourpuss but, based on statistical averages, there's a 98.3% probability that we're going to mess up before the day is out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': ''[looks up to Luan, stuck whilst sitting on the ceiling]'' Uh, Luan, what's going on up there?
:'''Luan''': Looks like we've got a ''&quot;sit-uation.&quot;''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': We did it! All we gotta do now is bring the furniture back in. ''[outside, they notice the furniture is missing]'' Uh, guys, where's the furniture?

==''Episode 9''==

===''The Last Laugh (9.1)''===

===''Driver's Dread (9.2)''===
:'''Leni''': OMGosh, Lori, I'm so excited to see you this weekend!
:'''Lori''': Samesies! It'll be like old times. Spending the whole day shopping at the Outlet Mall. Did you know everything is 50% off?
:'''Leni''': So if we go twice, it'll be 100% off!
:'''Lori''': ''[confused]'' Huh?
:'''Leni''': BTDubs, Tanya's coming along. She's desperate for a new look. ''[to Tanya]'' Don't stress out, Tanya. I'll find someone to drive us there.
:'''Lori''': You know, Leni, maybe it's time you tried to get your license again.
:'''Leni''': I thought about it, then it scared me, so I stopped thinking about it. Remember the last time? ''[flashback to the events of '''&quot;Driving Miss Hazy&quot;''' where she crashed Vanzilla into a pool]'' Is this the carpool lane? ''[back to present]'' There is no way I'm going through that again. The only thing that scares me more than driving is shoulder pads and perms. ''[shudders]'' But don't worry! I'll find a way to get there.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Rita is in the kitchen writing an article while getting highly caffeinated]''
:'''Rita''': Latte, expresso, macchiato, Fortado… Oh! Those rhyme!
:'''Leni''': Mom? Could you drive me to the mall this weekend? Dad can't-
:'''Rita''': I'm sorry, sweetie, I can't. I have to finish a big article about coffee, coffee, coffee. And now I gotta pee, pee, pee! ''[runs for the bathroom while holding her bladder]''
:'''Leni''': You can't! Lola's taking one of her four-hour baths, and she's only on hour two.
:'''Rita''': ''[bolts out the back door]'' MR. GROUSE, I NEED YOUR BATHROOM! ''[peeks out]'' Maybe you can take the bus.

==''Episode 10''==

===''Bummer Camp (10.1)''===
:'''Leonard''': ''[calling in on the TV from Camp Mastodon]'' Hello? Is this thingy on? I just see me. ''[sees his grandkids as he backs up]'' Up, there you are! Ah, hi, my little minnows!
:'''Lincoln''': Hey, Gramps. What's up?
:'''Leonard''': Well, kiddos, I'm in a bind. I got a new batch of campers coming in a week, and my counselors just bailed on me during training! I'm as stuck as a boat at low tide! Why, without counselors, I'll have to close down Mastodon and return to life at sea.
:''[The kids gasp in shock]''
:'''Lincoln''': Wait, what?
:'''Leonard''': Ah, breaks my heart. I love this ding-dang camp. All the summers your dad and I spent here together… ''[sighs]'' So, if you know any counselors, just let me know. Gramps, over and out. How do you… where do I- WHOA! ''[drops the camera in the lake, where a fish swims over before the call disconnects]''
:'''Lynn''': Gramps leaving?! Major foul! I don't want him to go! ''[starts venting her rage by kicking the couch]''
:'''Luna''': None of us do, dudette. We just got him back!
:'''Lucy''': We have to find some counselors for Gramps. I'll see if any of my undertaker friends are looking to pick up extra cash.
:'''Lincoln''': Wait! We can be Gramps's counselors. Then the camp will stay open and he won't go. Who's with me? ''[the sisters cheer]'' Camp Mastodon, here we come! ''[notices they're still watching ''The Dream Boat'']'' Um, guys?
:'''Lola''': Yeah, we're gonna need five minutes. We have to see who Brynn picked!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Later, Luna repeatedly breaks shovels trying to break the barnacles, with Leni and Lola having brought a box full of them and the entire supply being exhausted. Lynn uses a hammer to break the barnacles, but fails. Lincoln grabs a jackhammer and begins removing barnacles as his sisters cheer, but is sent careening into the woods. Eventually, all the barnacles are gone, and the sisters are all exhausted.]''
:'''Leonard''': Well, rig my sails! I'm impressed, kiddos! Guess you won't have any trouble with the rest of 'em! ''[points to even more barnacle-encrusted canoes]'' Well, let me know when you're finished! ''[leaves]''
:'''Lisa''': Now we know why all those other counselors quit.
:'''Lynn''': Yeah, Gramps is running this camp like he ran his fishing boat, and it's 0% fun!
:'''Lisa''': And if he keeps this up, he'll run off his future campers, too. Mastodon will be done for, and Gramps will leave us! I'm afraid we must tell him.
:''[Lincoln is chase by a runaway jackhammer.]''

===''Sleepstakes (10.2)''===
:''[Lana gets an invitation and hides it in her hat]''
:'''Rita''': Lana, what are you hiding? Is that another note from Principal Huggins about bathing more frequently?
:'''Lana''': No. He gave up on that. ''[takes the invitation out of her hat]'' It's an invitation to a sleepover my friend Kayla's having. But as all of you know, I'm really bad at sleepovers.

==''Episode 11''==

===''Cat-astrophe (11.1)''===
:'''Harold''': Go for Harold?
:'''Nana Gayle''': Harold, it's your mother.
:'''Harold''': Oh! Hi, Mom! Clyde, come say hi to Nana!
:'''Clyde''': Hi, Nana Gayle!
:'''Nana Gayle''': Hey there, baby. What time are you boys coming around for our annual birthday celebration? You didn't forget my big day, did you?
:'''Harold''': ''[shocked]'' Your big day?
:''[Howard gasps, takes out his phone, and scrolls to Nana Gayle's birthday on their daily schedule, realizing they forgot, and faints]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Nana Gayle''': Wait, what is this? Fish cake? Milk fountain? Weird lady in a cat suit? Boys, what's going on?
:'''Harold''': ''[guilty]'' I'm sorry, Mom. We got so distracted planning Cleopawtra and Nepurrtiti's graduation party that we…forgot your birthday.
:'''Howard''': We thought if we brought everything from the cat's party here, we could still give you a great birthday.
:'''Clyde''': We're sorry, Nana. ''[sighs sadly]'' We really messed up.
:'''Scoots''': Yeah, you did. Come on, Gayle. Let 'em have it!

===''Prize Fighter (11.2)''===

==''Time Trap! (Episode 12)''==
:'''Lynn''': Oh-ho-ho-ho, man. I would hate to be you right now, Lori!
:'''Lori''': Me? Lincoln was the one who told me to chip it!
:'''Lincoln''': Well, Charles was supposed to be protecting the vase!
:'''Lana''': You leave Charles out of this! ''[hops on the couch and hugs Charles]'' Who came up with this dumb game anyway?
:'''Lincoln''': Guys! We need to figure what we're going to do about this vase. Remember what happened the last few times it broke?
:''[Flashback to Lincoln, in his Ace Savvy outfit, rappelling from the ceiling to nab the last slice of pizza from Lynn]''
:'''Lynn''': Nice try, Stinkoln. ''[hits him with the pizza box, flinging him into the vase and shattering it]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[opens the door, frantically]'' What happened? ''[notices the shattered vase and gasps]'' That was a wedding gift! ''[angrily to them]'' You're all grounded for the night!
:''[Second flashback to Lynn, Lucy, and Luan in the twins' room]''
:'''Lynn''': ''[with her rear stuck inside the vase's neck]'' Told ya it would fit. ''[farts, letting the bottle fly away]''
:'''Rita''': ''[ducks as the vase flies out of the room and shatters; enraged]'' That was a wedding gift! You're all grounded for a week!
:''[Third flashback]''
:'''Lisa''': ''[bursting in through the front door with chemicals]'' Hot chemicals coming through! ''[rushes past the vase, which starts wobbling, but rests; relieved]'' Phew.
:'''Lana''': El Diablo, drop it!
:''[El Diablo slithers past Lisa knocking the chemical out of her hands and destroying the vase with an explosion]''
:'''Rita and Lynn Sr.''': ''[gasp]'' Our wedding gift!
:'''Rita''': ''[angrily]'' You guys are grounded for a month!
:''[Back to present]''
:'''Lincoln''': If Mom and Dad find out we broke the vase again, we'll definitely be grounded for the whole year.
:'''Luna''': Can't we just get rid of it?
:'''Lynn''': ''[imitates buzzer]'' They'd notice. In case you haven't heard, it was a wedding gift.
:'''Lucy''': That vase has been nothing but a pox on this house.
:'''Lola''': Ugh! I wish Mom and Dad never got this heinous thing in the first place!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Siblings, I figured out a way to save our collective gluteus maximi. A while back, I unlocked the secret of time travel. I swore to never use it again, but desperate times call for desperate measures. My plan is simple: I'll travel back to the day of Mom and Dad's wedding. There, I'll prevent our parental units from ever receiving the vase. In layman's terms, no vase, no grounding. Any questions?
:'''Lynn''': ''[raises her hand]'' Yeah… I've got one, brainbox. Won't removing the vase affect the fabric of the space-time continuum?
:'''Lisa''': Actually, that is a highly perceptive question.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Behold! ''[the garage door is stuck]'' Aw, dang it. The door is stuck. Everyone, just crawl under… Ding-dang door ruining my reveal… ''[scoffs]''
:'''Leni''': So where's the time machine?
:'''Lisa''': You're lookin' at it.
:'''Lincoln''': You built a time machine? Out of Vanzilla? In seven minutes?!
:'''Lisa''': Well, it's not like it was hard. All I needed was an alkaline-coated crankshaft and some plutonium. Mm-hmm. ''[rips off her shirt and pants to reveal a tuxedo]''
:'''Lola''': You even had time to get a tux?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': How in Galileo's micrometer did you get here?!
:'''Lincoln''': We snuck in the back seat when you weren't looking. You have terrible peripheral vision.
:'''Lana''': We wanna help you with the mission!
:'''Lola''': And I'm not one to miss a party.
:'''Lisa''': Fine… Since you're here, you can help me find the vase. But remember, it's crucial that we get it, swap it, and get out without being seen. Let's roll!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lynn''': Mom and Dad are gonna feel pretty bad when they hear we had to- ''[feels the couch]'' This feels different.
:'''Lola''': ''[gasps]'' That's 'cause it ''is'' different! Mom and Dad would never shell out for high-quality upholstery like this!
:'''Lucy''': The blood- I mean, ketchup stains on the walls are gone.
:'''Lana''': This carpet feels softer than normal. And where are all the mud stains?
:'''Lori''': ''[sniffs]'' And it doesn't smell like Cliff's farts, or Lynn's.
:'''Lynn''': ''[preparing to fart]'' Oh, I can fix that.
:'''Lola''': ''[screaming from upstairs]'' What happened to my room?! My trophies! My headshots! Mr. Sprinkles! '''MY HEADSHOTS!!!'''
:''[The siblings check to see the twins' bedroom, now into a gym room]''
:'''Lynn''': Why is your room full of gym equipment?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Welp, it seems my hypothesis was correct. We've altered the course of history. ''[gulps]'' I'm afraid…'''''we don't exist!'''''
:''[The other Loud siblings gasp; End of Act 1]''
:''[Beginning Act 2]''
:'''Lincoln''': What do you mean we don't exist?
:'''Lisa''': We altered the timeline and erased our own existence. In this timeline, Mom and Dad never had kids. Huh. The question is why… Perhaps there is someone who could help us fill in the blanks.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lana''': Found a crankshaft! Ooh, also found this junkyard burrito. Double score! ''[surfs on a car door and lands on other trash while Lynn nabs the crankshaft and Chunk gets the burrito]
:'''Alternative Chunk''': Brilliant. I just found me lunch. ''[eats the burrito]'' A bit o' bad news, though. I think your punk friend flew the coop. ''[points to the dropped guitar, which Luna has disappeared]''
:'''Lincoln''': Now Luna disappeared!
:'''Lucy''': So did Leni.
:'''Lisa''': Of course - they're disappearing in birth order.
:'''Lynn''': We gotta move fast if we want to save the rest of us.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Without me, Chandler took my spot in the friend group.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Luan''': ''[sniffs]'' Ooh, smell that? Pet dander and farts!
:'''Luna''': Look! There are pics of us on the wall!
:'''Lincoln''': ''[checks the couch]'' Yes! The couch is sticky! What the…?!
:'''Lisa''': Yeah! The timeline has been repaired!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[off-screen]'' Kids, we're home!
:''[Their parents enter with a pizza box]''
:'''Rita''': We picked up pizza for di- ''[she and Lynn Sr. gasp upon seeing the broken vase]'' You broke our vase again?! ''[The siblings all smile]'' And you're happy about it?
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[sternly]'' Ok, that is it! Everyone is grounded for two months!
:'''Lincoln''': ''[as he and his sisters hug them]'' We'll stay home with you as long as you'd like.

==''Episode 13''==

===''Crashed Course (13.1)''===

===''Puns and Buns (13.2)''===
:'''Andre''': Benjamin Stein, you may have just started working here, but I know greatness when I see it. I am promoting you to Assistant Manager of the Burpin' Burger. ''[puts a golden Burger necklace on around Benny's neck]''
:'''Benny''': Wow, the Golden Buns? Dreams do come true!
:'''Andre''': You've earned it. You're always on time, your uniform is always clean. And you're the first person ''ever'' to organize the pickles…by size.
:'''Benny''': Thank you, Andre. I'll teach you how to organize the pickles too, Otis. Once you've recovered from that accident with the burger sign.
:''[Flashback to Otis' accident while dressed in a burger costume as he spins the sign, flinging it upwards and falls on him]''
:'''Andre''': And we all want you to get better soon. ''[hits Otis in the injured arm, making him cringe in pain]'' Especially me, because I have to fill in for you.
:'''Benny''': No one wears the buns like you, boss.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Luan''': Well, I'd better take Mr. Coconuts home. We just used our savings on that hilarious soda bit. I miss spending time with you, Benny. Ever since Dairyland closed for the off season, I don't see you very much. ''[takes out her phone and shows Benny a photo of herself in her Heidi Heifer costume, unmasking herself in front of him and scaring him, causing him to knock the popcorn cart over]'' Remember how I'd sneak up on you and scare you, and you'd knock over your popcorn cart? ''[laughs]'' I missed that.
:'''Benny''': ''[laughs]'' Classic us. I miss it, too.
:'''Luan''': ''[gets an idea]'' Wait. Benny, why don't I just work here with you? Problem solved!
:'''Benny''': I was just thinking that, too! But I don't know if Andre will go for it. He takes fast food very seriously.
:'''Andre''': ''[now in the burger costume as he puts ketchup on as war paint]'' Be the burger, be the burger. Sesame seed bun! ''[charges out the door]''
:'''Luan''': You can convince him. He'll listen to you.
:'''Benny''': You're right. I'm Assistant Manager now!
:''[Outside the restaurant]''
:'''Andre''': Absolutely not. Luan, work here? Are you kidding?
:'''Benny''': But sir, Otis is still injured and we could really use a little more help. Plus, she ''does'' have experience. Her family owns a restaurant. And she promised to leave Mr. Coconuts at home.
:'''Andre''': Fine, but Luan is your responsibility. She can be your first assignment as assistant manager.
:'''Benny''': Thanks, boss! You won't regret this!
:'''Andre''': I hope not.
:'''Benny''': ''[chuckles and heads back inside; clears throat, holding up a Burpin' Burger uniform in front of Luan]'' Welcome to the Burpin' Burger family, Luan! You start tomorrow!

==''Episode 14''==

===''Lights, Camera, Nuclear Reaction (14.1)''===
:'''Lincoln''': Todd, you were amazing! And the hologram effect Lisa installed was the coolest! ''[notices something]'' Todd? ''[passes through him, turning out he's a hologram; shocked]'' Ahh!
:'''Todd''': ''[laughs]'' '''Got you, Lincoln. You should have seen the look on your face. Actually, I can show you. Playing memory from three seconds ago.''' ''[plays the memory and replays Lincoln's shock multiple times while zooming in on his face; laughs]'' '''Good times.'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lisa''': ''[enters the dining room, panting]'' Quick question, have you seen the nuclear reactor from yesterday's shoot? Uh, not to create any panic, but it's missing. And if it falls into the wrong hands… ''[chuckles nervously]'' it could potentially destroy Royal Woods.
:'''Lincoln''': You mean that was real?!
:'''Lisa''': You asked for screen accuracy, Lincoln. Anyway, if you stumble on a glowing, unstable nuclear reactor, let me know.
:'''Lincoln''': You're in luck, Lisa. Where there's evil in the world, there's only one secret agent who can stop it, and his name is-
:'''Clyde''': Um, Lincoln, Lisa already left.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[sighs]'' Agent David Steele. We're coming up to help, Lis!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Todd''': '''So glad you could make it, Mr. Steele and friends.'''
:'''Lincoln''': This isn't you, Todd! It's the villain switch talking! Look, we're going to slowly come over and turn it off, OK?
:'''Todd''': ''[presses a button and traps the three in a net]'' '''Sorry, Agent Steele. That won't be happening, and now you can all watch annihilate Royal Woods. Oh, and one last thing.''' ''[removes the villain switch to their horror]'' '''Now I'll be in villain mode forever.''' ''[laughs]'' '''You should see your faces. Actually, I can show you. Playing memory from three seconds ago.''' ''[plays and replays the memory of them gasping]''

===''Food Courting (14.2)''===
:'''Miguel''': Leni, you ready for lunch?
:'''Leni''': Definitely. How 'bout Spaghetti on a Stick? I'm craving skewered noodles.
:'''Miguel''': Uh, sure, but, let's go to the Spaghetti on a Stick across town, or maybe one in a different town. I hear you get free marinara in Hazeltucky.
:'''Leni''': That's silly, it's right there. Come on.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gavin''': Welcome to Spaghetti on a Stick. How can I help you today?
:'''Miguel''': ''[sweating nervously]'' Uh, nice boats. Are those shoes fresh? Boy, that episode of ''The Dream Sauce,'' huh? ''[Gavin stares confusingly at him; rushes off embarrassingly, and bumps into a man in lederhosen, getting sauerkraut in his eyes]'' AHH! SAUERKRAUT IN MY EYE!
:'''Leni''': Don't worry, we are not giving up. ''[sniffs]'' And sauerkraut is actually a good scent on you.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gavin''': Hey, Miguel! Looking stylish as usual.
:'''Leni''': ''[through radio microphone]'' ''Thanks. What can you tell me about the rigatoni today?''
:'''Miguel''': Uh--uh, thanks. What can you tell me about the rigatoni today?
:'''Gavin''': Excellent question! The pasta is fresh from Sicily. Well, Sicily, Michigan, but still. So, can I put in an order from you?
:'''Scoots''': ''[interrupting]'' Quit daydreaming, blondie, and ring these up.
:'''Leni''': One moment, please.
:'''Miguel''': ''[in the exact same tone and posture]'' One moment, please.
:'''Gavin''': I get it, choosing the right pasta takes time.
:'''Miguel''': I'm gonna have to ask you to calm down and step back, please.
:'''Leni''': ''[being bothered at Scoots waving the pants in her face]'' I said, step back, please!
:'''Scoots''': And ''I'' said, I've waited long enough!
:'''Gavin''': Uh, Miguel? Is everything all right?
:'''Miguel''': ''[laughs nervously and runs off before slipping and falling into the fountain; Felix offers him a washcloth]'' Oh, thanks, Felix.
:'''Leni''': ''[while being chased by Scoots]'' SECURITY!
:'''Scoots''': ''[angrily chasing after her]'' Get back here, blondie!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Leni''': Gavin, what a surprise.
:'''Gavin''': Oh. Hey, Leni. Hey, Miguel.
:'''Leni''': Miguel, look, it's Gavin!
:'''Miguel''': ''[awkwardly snapping out of it]'' Grey! Sorry. I started to say &quot;greetings&quot;, but then I switched it to &quot;hey.&quot; Ugh!

==''Episode 15''==

===''Save the Last Pants (15.1)''===

===''A Stella Performance (15.2)''===

==''Episode 16''==

===''Hiccups and Downs (16.1)''===
:'''Leni''': Wow. I've never heard a guitar make that sound before.
:'''Lisa''': Negatory. It would appear Luna is having involuntary contractions of the diaphragm. Street name: hiccups, brought on by all of her excitement. They'll cease in no time.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Luna''': The Rumble's tonight, and there's no way I can sing like this! What am I gonna- ''[hiccups]'' -do?!
:'''Lisa''': ''[gasps]'' I know what would cure those: an anti-hiccup elixir. Yeah, if only someone would invent one.
:'''Luna''': ''[hiccups]'' Come on, sibs. One of you has to know how to get rid of my- ''[hiccups and falls to the floor, surrounded by the spilled food]'' Please, you've gotta help me!
:'''Luan''': Aw, Luna. You know we're ''&quot;hicc-up&quot;'' for it, but first things first… ''[grabs a fork; to her siblings]'' Everybody, hurry and eat while she's down!

===''The Loathe Boat (16.2)''===

==''Episode 17''==

===''Stroke of Luck (17.1)''===

===''My Cheer Lady (17.2)''===

==''Episode 18''==

===''Space Jammed (18.1)''===

===''Crown and Dirty (18.2)''===

==''Episode 19''==

===''The Orchid Grief (19.1)''===

===''Forks and Knives Out (19.2)''===

==''Episode 20''==

===''The Loud Cloud (20.1)''===

===''You Auto Know Better (20.2)''===

==''Unnamed Halloween Special (Episode 21)''==

==''Episode 22''==

===''Pop Pop the Question (22.1)''===

===''Lynn and Order (22.2)''===

==''Episode 23''==

===''Snow Escape (23.1)''===

===''Snow News Day (23.2)''===

==''Episode 24''==

===''Day of the Dad (24.1)''===

===''Small Blunder (24.2)''===

==''Episode 25''==

===''Fashion No Show (25.1)''===

===''Doom Service (25.2)''===

==''Episode 26''==

===''The Hurt Lockers (26.1)''===

===''Love Stinks (26.2)''===</text>
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----
:'''Seasons:''' [[The Loud House/Season 1|1]] [[The Loud House/Season 2|2]] [[The Loud House/Season 3|3]] [[The Loud House/Season 4|4]] [[The Loud House/Season 5|5]] [[The Loud House/Season 6|6]] ([[The Loud House|Main]]) | '''[[The Casagrandes|Casagrandes]]''' (Seasons [[The Casagrandes/Season 1|1]] [[The Casagrandes/Season 2|2]] [[The Casagrandes/Season 3|3]])
----

'''''{{w|The Loud House}}''''' (2016–present) is an American [[w:animated television series|animated television series]] created by [[w:Chris Savino|Chris Savino]] for [[w:Nickelodeon|Nickelodeon]]. The series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of an accident-prone boy named Lincoln Loud, who survives as the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.

==''Episode 1''==

===''Present Danger (1.1)''===
:'''Gus''': Lincoln! Bravo, buddy, but you gotta get off the table.
:'''Customer''': You have ruined my wife's garlic knots!
:'''Lincoln''': Sorry! ''[gets off the table; to the viewers]'' Well, today's a really big day. It's my 12th birthday! Feels like I've been 11 forever, so this year, I'm doing it in style. David Steele-style. I asked all my friends to come to Gus's dressed as their favorite MALICE villains. You have Golden Toe, Blowfish, Odd Bob, and Patty Whack. So far, it's been great. One moment… Nothing but net. And now that we've finished playing Agents and MALICE, it's time for…
:'''Rita''': Presents!
:'''Lincoln''': Yes!
:'''Liam''': Wahoo!
:'''Zach''': Rusty, the invitation said only Lincoln was supposed to dress up as David Steele.
:'''Rusty''': Sorry, dude. It's not my fault I look amazing in a tuxedo. Besides, check out the Loud seniors.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Well, thanks for coming, everyone. Today is a special day for a special- ''[notices his dad crying]'' Dad, you know if you cry, I'm gonna- ''[he and Leonard both break down sobbing in each other's arms]''
:'''Rita''': Lincoln, I think what your dad was ''trying'' to say is that 12 is a Loud family landmark. He and Gramps have a special present for you. Your great-grandfather gave it to Gramps when he was 12, and Gramps gave it to ''your'' dad when ''he'' was 12.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Room for one more?
:'''Scoots''': Doesn't look like there's room for one more. Because of your dang party, I'm stuck with these two bozos at the loaner's table.
:'''Flip''': Hey, you ain't no picnic yourself there, lady! ''[eats the pizza]''
:'''Chandler''': What do you want there anyway, Lincoln Lame?
:'''Lincoln''': ''[takes a seat]'' Someone nabbed one of my birthday presents, and I think one of you is the culprit. ''[takes out a deck of cards]'' The game is Go Fish. If I win, you have to turn out your pockets.
:'''Chandler''': And what's in it for us?
:'''Lincoln''': If you win, you get to keep all my… ''[close-up on his face] Presents.'' So, are you feeling lucky?
:'''Chandler''': You're on!

===''Stressed for the Part (1.2)''===
:'''Luan''': ''[practicing her moos]'' Moo! Moo! ''[falsetto]'' Moooo!
:'''Mr. Coconuts''': Nah, toots. That's too Holstein. Go lower into your Jersey range.
:'''Luan''': Oh, Mr. Coconuts, I can't wait to tell Mrs. Bernardo I got the part!
:'''Mr. Coconuts''': She'll be over the moooon, toots!
:'''Luan''': Aww.
:''[Suddenly Mrs. Bernardo walks in with her makeup running]''

==''Episode 2''==

===''Don't Escar-go (2.1)''===
:'''Lincoln''': So, what's the occasion, Clyde?
:'''Zach''': Yeah, are you buttering us up for something?
:'''Clyde''': Ok, here goes. The reason I created this ''Célébration de'' Friendship Brunch is because, I've got some big news. It all started last night…
:''[Flashback to earlier, getting a phone call]''
:'''Howard''': Clyde, can you get that? And please be careful. That phone is older than our 1930's Dust Bowl glasses.
:'''Clyde''': ''[picks up the phone and answers]'' Hello?
:'''Nana Gayle''': ''[calling on the other end from Sunset Canyon]'' Clyde, it's Nana Gayle. Ooh, I've got big news. My best friend, Fleur DuPont, just came to town for a surprise visit. She happens to be the dean of one of the finest cooking academies in the world.
:'''Clyde''': I know that academy! It's nearly impossible to get in. They wouldn't even let the Queen of England in. Granted, I've heard her sponge cake is dry-
:'''Nana Gayle''': Clyde, get your buns over here! And bring your baked goods, too! If Fleur tries them, oh, she's sure to let you in.
:''[Clyde hangs up happily; back to the present]''
:'''Zach''': So, what happened?
:'''Clyde''': She loved everything I made! In fact, Dean DuPont said I just have to pass one last exam tonight. I have to cook her an entire dinner. If I nail it, I'll be into the academy!
:'''Stella''': Yeah!
:'''Lincoln''': Yeah!
:'''Rusty''': Yeah, alright! ''[Clyde starts sniffing]'' Clyde, what's wrong?
:'''Clyde''': ''[sniffs]'' There's only one drawback: The school's in… Paris.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[despaired]'' NOOOOOOOOO! ''[collapses]''
:'''Liam''': Aww, it's happening again. Clyde's leaving us, just like when Lincoln done went to Canada.
:'''Clyde''': Let's not lose our heads here. I'm not 1,000% sure I'm going yet. They might not even pick me.
:'''Rusty''': Your food is divine. Of course you'll get in.
:'''Clyde''': I'll miss you guys like crazy, but this is an incredible opportunity. Where else could I learn to cook ''sole meunière, concombre a la menthe, escargot--''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[brushes the imagination aside]'' Wait, Clyde. What if you could learn to cook all those things here in Royal Woods? I know someone who can teach you. Then we wouldn't lose you.
:'''Rusty''': Ooh, give it a try, Clyde. Please?
:'''Stella''': Yeah, we're your crew, table 10 at lunch, the Action News Team! We have to stick together.
:'''Clyde''': But who are you thinking could teach me?
:'''Lincoln''': I know just the guy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Royal Woods Middle School cafeteria; the gang talks to Chef Pat]''
:'''Stella''': Chef Pat, do you know anything about French cooking?
:'''Chef Pat''': Pfft, I know everything. I used to be the head chef on a 60-foot yacht off the French Riviera. Here. ''[takes a buckwheat galette out of her hair net]'' Try a nutty buckwheat galette.
:'''Zach''': Nutty. Smooth. So why do you cook sloppy joes all the time?
:'''Chef Pat''': 'Cause that's what you kids like. ''[walks into the kitchen]''
:'''Lincoln''': Chet Pat, you ''have'' to teach Clyde all about French cooking, or else he's moving to Paris. ''[slides on his knees; begging]'' Please!
:'''Chef Pat''': Hmm. That's a lot to ask, but I'll do it, on one condition. While I'm with Clyde, you guys gotta take care of my niece, Waffles. If she tries to bite you, give her waffles. They calm her down.

===''Double Trouble (2.2)''===
:''[The Loud twin sisters arrive at Auntie Pam's contest for all the twins of Royal Woods]''
:'''Lola''': First rule of any contest: Know your enemy, and you can never lose. Who's gonna be our biggest threat?
:'''Lana''': Mr. Grouse and Flip?
:'''Lola''': ''[screeches her jeep to a stop]'' Um, what are you two trying to pull? You're not even related!
:'''Mr. Grouse''': What? You don't see the resemblance? ''[he and Flip both tug their mustaches]''
:'''Flip''': Ooh, it's in the flavor savers. ''[they both walk away, chuckling]''
:'''Lola''': Ugh.
:'''Lana''': And what's Liam doing here?
:'''Liam''': ''[to his twin goats]'' Okay, fellers, eye of the tiger.
:'''Lola''': His twins aren't even human!
:'''Liam''': Huh? They got every right to be here.
:'''Scoots''': ''[honks and pulls up]'' Uh, anyone seen my twin sister Mopes? She looks just like me, except for she's on a moped. ''[drives off]''
:'''Lola''': No way Scoots has a twin! The universe would never be so cruel.
:'''Mopes''': ''[pulls up]'' Anyone seen my twin sister Scoots? She looks just like me, except for she's on a scooter. ''[drives off]''
:'''Lola''': Okay, Scoots' sister is obviously just her in a wig. This contest is going to be an ice cream cake walk.
:'''Lana''': Yeah, we're the only ''real'' twins here.
:'''Cheryl''': ''[showing up with Meryl]'' Stop the presses! 'Cause Cheryl…
:'''Meryl''': And Meryl…
:'''Both''': Have arrived!
:'''Cheryl''': Sorry for being tardy, y'all. We may have gotten sucked into an episode of our favorite soap opera, &quot;Southern Hospitality.&quot;
:'''Auntie Pam''': ''[blowing her whistle]'' Alrighty, who's ready to twin it up? Let's get this competition started!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Auntie Pam''': ''[sees Liam's twin goats fighting; blowing her whistle]'' Disqualified!
:'''Liam''': Disqualified? For what?
:'''Auntie Pam''': ''[pulls out a contract]'' Violation of Auntie Pam's Double Trouble Contract. I can't have my twins fighting. They need to be united.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[As the Double Trouble contest comes to an end at sunset…]''
:'''Auntie Pam''': Our two final teams are Cheryl and Meryl, and Lola and Lana. And now for the big moment. Our Double Trouble twins and winners of a lifetime supply of ice cream are…lo and behold, Cheryl and Meryl!
:''[Cheryl and Meryl gasp and squeal in delight over winning; The Loud twins sigh in disappointment and drive back home]''
:'''Lola''': It's not fair! That crown and ice cream should be ''ours!'' ''[gasps and screeches her jeep to a stop as she and Lana see Liam's twin goats fighting over his shirt]''
:'''Liam''': ''[bursts out of a bush, going after them]'' Hey, wait up, fellers!
:'''Lana''': At least we didn't get disqualified for fighting, right?
:'''Lola''': ''[gets an idea]'' Fight clause. Lana, maybe there's a way we can ''still'' win! Cheryl and Meryl just need to start bickering, and Auntie Pam will make ''us'' the Double Trouble twins!
:'''Lana''': But how do we know they'll fight?
:'''Lola''': 'Cause you and I are going to ''make'' them.
:''[Next day at elementary school; Lana is walking with Cheryl on their snack break]''
:'''Lana''': Thanks for the snack break, Cheryl.
:'''Cheryl''': My pleasure, sugar.
:'''Lana''': I've never heard a person talk as much as Cheryl. She said, like, a gazillion sentences, and they all started with &quot;sugar.&quot;
:'''Lola''': Does that mean you got the scoop on how to split up her and Meryl?
:'''Lana''': It won't be easy. Those two are ''tight.'' They eat ice cream together every night. They watch ''all'' the same TV shows, like &quot;Southern Hospitality.&quot; They even double-date with their boyfriends.
:'''Lola''': ''[thinking]'' Hmm, I can work with all that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Cheryl''': ''[screams as she slips in the melted ice cream and falls on her back; angrily]'' Meryl, did you spill the ice cream?! Now we got a dairy river the size of the Mississippi on our floor!
:'''Meryl''': ''[miffed]'' Don't blame me, I didn't do it!
:''[They growl angrily at each other]''
:'''Cheryl''': Well, no use cryin' over spilled ice cream. We got plenty more in the backup freezer.
:'''Lola''': ''[disappointed]'' Ugh!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Meryl''': ''[answers the telephone]'' Yello, Che-Meryl residence. You got Meryl.
:'''Lola''': ''[impersonating Cheryl]'' Hey, sugar, it's me, your sister.
:'''Meryl''': Hey, sugar.
:'''Lola''': I'm in a bit of a pickle here at school. Huggins has a bee in his office. Actually, a ''lot'' of bees.
:'''Lana''': ''[hold a jar of bees]'' Come home safe, my babies. ''[takes the jar lid off, releasing the bees]''
:'''Lola''': I'm fixing to be here awhile. You should go ahead and watch the season finale of &quot;Southern Hospitality&quot; without me.
:'''Meryl''': What? Well, that don't sound like you at all! You serious about this?
:'''Lola''': As serious as a hoedown.
:'''Meryl''': Ooh, that is serious. And I am chompin' at the bit to find out this pie thief. Ooh, okay. I'll watch.
:''[The Loud twins high five as they hear Cheryl and Principal Huggins running away from the bees]''
:'''Cheryl''': ''[screaming]'' Run, Huggins! They think my beehive is ''their'' beehive!
:''[Cheryl and Meryl's apartment, evening; Meryl is watching the season finale, sobbing while blowing her nose]''
:'''Cheryl''': ''[enters the apartment, covered in bee stings]'' Ooh, boy, did I have a dickens of a day. ''[realizes]'' And are you watching the &quot;Southern Hospitality&quot; finale without me?
:'''Meryl''': Uh, you called and told me to.
:'''Cheryl''': That is a backhoe of lies! I think I would remember something like that!
:'''Meryl''': You calling me a fibber?!
:'''Cheryl''': If the kitten heel fits!
:'''Meryl''': How dare you?!
:'''Cheryl''': Hmph! ''[turns around]''
:'''Meryl''': Oh, and BTDubs, Wayland is the pie thief! ''[blows her nose as her sister gasps in horror at the spoilers, and they both go their separate ways]''
:''[The Loud twins smirk at each other while watching]''
:''[Next day at Auntie Pam's parlor; Cheryl and Meryl are still angry with each other during the unveiling of the Double Trouble sundae]''
:'''Auntie Pam''': Welcome all to the debut of our Double Trouble sundae. Exciting, isn't it, Double Trouble twins? ''[takes out the ceremonial scissors]'' Who wants to cut the ribbon?
:'''Meryl''': ''[takes the scissors]'' ''I'll'' do it.
:'''Cheryl''': I'm surprised you haven't already done it without me, you low-down pie thief spoiler!
:'''Meryl''': ''[spitefully cuts her sister's hair with the scissors as the crowd gasps]'' Oops.
:'''Auntie Pam''': ''[gasps]'' Ok, ladies, settle down.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lana''': The sign-up line for our Unlimited Double Trouble ice cream party starts here!
:'''Lola''': And remember, it's VIPs only.
:'''Cheryl''': ''[over P.A.; upset]'' Morning… ''[sobbing]'' Roosters. Today's lunch will be two identical twin fish sticks! Sorry, Principal Huggins, it's just that Meryl is ''gone!'' ''[sobbing hysterically; the Loud twins rush over investigating as Principal Huggins comforts her]'' After our tussle at Auntie Pam's parlor, we was both madder than wet hens, so this morning, Meryl packed up her stuff and left for the bus station! ''[Lola and Lana look even more guilty for what they have both done as she continues sobbing]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Meryl''': What is ''she'' doing here?
:'''Lola''': Look, Meryl, if you want to be mad someone, be mad at us.
:'''Lana''': Yeah, we wanted ice cream so bad, we tricked you two into fighting.
:''[Cheryl and Meryl gasp upon hearing this]''
:'''Lola''': It was stupid, and we feel so terrible. If anyone knows how much twins need each other, it's us.
:'''Lana''': Yeah, you can't leave, Meryl. Twins gotta stick together.
:'''Meryl''': ''[looks down at her twin, smiles back]'' Well, I guess I could stay. After all, you ''are'' the soft serve to my waffle cone.
:'''Cheryl''': ''[squeals and hops into her twin's arms]'' We gotta celebrate our reunion!
:''[Auntie Pam's; the two pair of twins are all enjoying their ice cream]''
:'''Lola''': You know, you should throw more twin soirees.
:'''Scoots''': ''[drives in]'' I heard about the twin party. Guess our invite got lost in the mail.
:'''Lola''': Spare us, Scoots. We know your &quot;sister,&quot; Mopes, isn't real.
:'''Mopes''': ''[showing up in the flesh]'' What are you lookie-loos staring at?
:'''Scoots''': You never seen twins before?

==''Episode 3''==

===''Flip This Flip (3.1)''===
:'''Lincoln''': Um, what's going on?
:''[Nacho chitters while pointing at the label of Gobblesworth Farm, swooning over it, and makes smooching noises]''
:'''Lana''': OK, from what I understand- my raccoon's a little rusty- the lady on the framed turkey label is Flip's old middle school crush, um… Tommy Hogglesfort?
:'''Flip''': Tammy Gobblesworth! ''[sighs]'' My one true love. I always thought she and I would eat food off of other people's plates together forever. ''[flashback to the middle school Christmas dance]'' But then I got locked out of the school dance and missed my one shot to impress her! ''[collapses after the flashback fades back to the present]''
:''[Nacho chitters more while pointing at the label and pantomime acts like a chicken]''
:'''Lana''': ''[translating]'' Ever since Flip found the label, he's been attempting to call and ask her to dinner, but he keeps chickening out.
:'''Flip''': ''[popping up]'' Hey, chickening out is a bit harsh.
:'''Lincoln''': Flip, you can totally do this. There's nothing to be afraid of.
:'''Lana''': Yeah. You're Flip Phillipini. You're a legend!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Welcome to Flip This Flip, where we take people that are complete disasters and make them shiny and new. Let's meet our panel of experts.
:'''Lana''': Lana: Hygiene.
:'''Leni''': Leni: Fashion.
:'''Lola''': Lola: Etiquette.
:'''Lisa''': Lisa: Interesting Conversation.
:'''Lincoln''': Lincoln: Transportation. What? You guys took all the good categories.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Flip''': You did your best, Loudsters. I blew it with Tammy.
:'''Lana''': ''[gasps]'' Blew it. Yes! ''[inhales and blows the French horn, sending Flip flying in the air with his outfit coming off, and slides on the floor in front of Tammy]''
:'''Tammy''': Oh, Phillip, are you okay? And where are your pants?
:'''Flip''': I gotta level with you, Tammy. Uh, I'm not a fancy tuxedo-wearing guy who oozes sophistication. The only thing I ooze is nacho cheese. Seriously, my sweat's orange. I was only trying to impress you 'cause you're so classy and glamorous. I'm not classy, I'm just gassy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': ''[to the viewers while peddling]'' Next time, I'm hiring a limo.

===''Haunted House Call (3.2)''===
:'''Lucy''': Okay, salespeople, normies love cheerfulness. Let's see those smiles. ''[The other Morticians make weird creepy smiles on their faces]'' Forget the smiles. ''[rings the doorbell as Mr. Grouse answers the door]'' Gloomy morning, Mr. Grouse. Would you be interested in buying some homemade eyeball pops?
:'''Persephone''': We're raising money to attend Casket Con this weekend.
:'''Morpheus''': They'll be unveiling the new Model C casket from Caskets R Us. It hovers, thereby totally removing the need for polders.
:'''Boris''': We're running a special. Four eyeball pops for the price of three.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': Not now, creepy Loud and you creepy friends. I've got my own problem. I can't catch my couch to take a nap!
:''[Inside the house, his furniture is floating]''
:'''Dante''': Oh, yeah. That's a ghost problem.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': What was your first clue? When my loveseat walked itself into the kitchen?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lucy''': Good morrow. Are you haunted by a specter?
:'''Morticians''': ♪ If a ghost is haunting you / And you have no clue what to do ♪
:'''Dante''': ''[dressed in a bedsheet while hanging]'' ♪ Don't just stand and scream ♪ ''[bumps into the camera]''
:'''Morticians''': ♪ Call the number on your screen ♪
:'''Lucy''': And now, we wait for customers.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Rodney''': It's destroying my clothing and spilling my most expensive cologne: Night Sweat! You have to help me!
:'''Lucy''': Ghost, reveal yourself. ''[A ghost dude, wearing a tuxedo T-shirt reveals himself]'' Spirit, what is your unfinished business here?
:'''Dude Ghost''': I was supposed to be buried in a real tux, but this joker put me in a tuxedo T-shirt! I want a refund!
:'''Rodney''': No refunds! Besides, your order form just said tuxedo, so I went with our casual package.
:'''Dude Ghost''': I can't cross over in this! I'll be laughed out of the afterlife!
:'''Rodney''': Hmph!
:'''Haiku''': What about an exchange?
:''[Later, Rodney has dressed the ghost dude in a genuine tuxedo]''
:'''Dude Ghost''': Now this is what I'm talking about.
:'''Rodney''': And here's your complementary bottle of Night Sweat!
:'''Dude Ghost''': ''[flinches in disgust]'' Yeah, I'm good.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Liam''': ''[as donkey Dolly's ghostly spirit reveals herself; gasps]'' It's Mee-Maw's prized donkey, Dolly.
:'''Persephone''': Do you know why Dolly is haunting you?
:'''Liam''': I do. I once broke our fence mud-wrestling with Virginia. And then, blamed it on Dolly. ''[Dolly brays angrily]'' I know. Ain't a moment I'm too proud of. Dolly, I'm gonna make this right. ''[walks into his house; off-screen]'' Brace yourself, Mee-Maw. You're about to be madder than a wet peacock.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Cheryl and Meryl's apartment; The TV is changing the channel back and forth from &quot;Southern Hospitality&quot; to &quot;Hipster Island&quot;]''
:'''Cheryl''': Somethin' keeps changing our channel. And we're missing the season finale of &quot;Southern Hospitality!&quot;
:'''Lucy''': This is ''definitely'' the work of a ghost. Spirit, show yourself.
:''[The ghostly spirit of a hipster appears, sitting next to the twins as they gasp]''
:'''Hipster Ghost''': This used to be my pad, brahs. And I need to find out who rid &quot;Hipster Island.&quot;
:'''Cheryl''': I use bra pads, too. But we gotta see if Sue Ellen chooses Brad or his evil twin, Chad.
:'''Lucy''': You could ''always'' record &quot;Southern Hospitality&quot;, and watch it later.
:'''Cheryl''': Well, we'll have to delete some of our crime shows, but, it's a deal. Make yourself comfy, I'll be right back with three bowls of ice cream.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lucy''': Nice doing business with you. Let's get you back to the portal and--
:'''Buzz''': Change of plans: Turns out, haunting people is the bee's knees.
:'''Persephone''': But what about the afterlife?
:'''Buzz''': Overrating. Later! ''[flies away]''
:'''Persephone''': Buzz is going to terrorize all of Royal Woods if we don't stop him.
:'''Haiku''': But Casket Con's only open for another hour. We're going to miss the unveiling of the Model C.
:'''Lucy''': Sigh. We created this mess, so we need to clean it up.

==''Save Royal Woods! (Episode 4)''==
:'''Lincoln''': ''[speaks to the crowd in the microphone, through Todd's megaphones]'' Hey, everyone. If I could have your attention. ''[the crowd catches their attention]'' Maybe Royal Woods ''is'' forgettable, but it doesn't have to stay that way. We could have something like those other towns, something to put us on the map.
:'''Clyde''': Then Joyce wouldn't flood our town. Lincoln, that's brilliant! But what could we create that would make Royal Woods seem memorable?
:'''Lincoln''': I bet if we put our heads together, we can come up with something amazing. So who's ready to save our town?
:''[The crowd cheers in agreement; Next day, Mayor Davis gives Lincoln a button reading '''&quot;Honorary Jr. Mayor&quot;''']''
:'''Lincoln''': Whoa. &quot;Honorary Jr. Mayor?&quot; Thanks, Mayor Davis.
:'''Mayor Davis''': It's the least I can do since you're helping to save the town.
:'''Lincoln''': So do I get to play your keyboard?
:'''Mayor Davis''': ''[plays buzzing sound on her keyboard, sternly]'' Don't push it, kid. ''[cheerfully]'' OK, time to hear ideas to save Royal Woods.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Undersecretary Crandall, thanks for coming.
:'''Joyce''': I hope this is good. I had to leave a meeting to pick the fish to stock Lake Gladys with. Spoiler alert: We are definitely leaning toward carp.
:'''Mayor Davis''': Actually, we think you might just change your mind about flooding your town.
:'''Joyce''': I'm sorry, but like I told you before, there is nothing that can cha-- ''[notices the giant Flippee; shocked]'' That's-that's…
:'''Albert''': The world's largest Flippee! HA! What do you think about them apples, huh? To be clear, it's not apple. It's actually sparkle berry cherry.
:'''Joyce''': Well, it is as big as the frying pan and less dangerous than the piranhas. Ugh, I guess there's no way we can put a lake here now. The flooding is off.
:''[All the citizens cheers when the giant Flippee suddenly starts shaking]''
:'''Citizens''': What's happening?!
:'''Lincoln''': Flip, what's going on?!
:'''Flip''': ''[sheepishly nervous]'' Uh, hey, Flippee syrup ain't cheap. I figured no one would drink it.
:'''Lola''': ''[seizes Flip by the collar, angrily]'' What did you do, old man?!
:'''Flip''': I may have swapped the syrup with some expired gasoline that wasn't selling. Is that really so bad?
:'''Lisa''': Short answer, yes. The gasoline is adversely reacting with my hyper-freeze additive, causing an accelerated release of energy, resulting in expanded volume.
:'''Todd''': '''In layman's terms, it's gonna blow.'''
:''[The giant Flippee explodes and covers everyone]''
:'''Joyce''': ''[fuming with rage]'' I will be back tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. with the demolition team! Royal Woods is history. ''[the giant Flippee tips over off the gas station, and destroys her car]'' YOU CRUSHED MY CAR! ''[screams as she notices something else]'' Donna! ''[angrily to the citizens]'' Make that 9:00 a.m.! ''GOODBYE, ROYAL WOODS!'' ''[storms off with fury]''
:''[End of Act 1; Beginning Act 2]''
:'''Flip''': ''[breaks down, sobbing]'' I'm sorry, everyone. The world's largest Flippee flopped! ''[Nacho chitters accusatively at him]'' Of course I regret using expired gas, Nacho! How can you ask me that?!
:'''Lincoln''': Wait! Everyone! I have a new idea that might save our town! Where's Todd?
:'''Todd''': '''I believe you, Lincoln.''' ''[starts chanting]'' '''Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln, Linc-''' ''[realizes everyone staring in confusion]'' '''Oh. We're not doing that?''' ''[deploys his PA system]''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[through microphone]'' Undersecretary Crandall said Royal Woods is history.
:'''Flip''': Why would you remind us of that?!
:'''Lincoln''': What if Royal Woods did have some kind of important history? Then she couldn't flood us.
:'''Lisa''': Elder brother, might I remind you that Royal Woods has no interesting history? We were named after an oak tree. ''[points to an old oak tree commemorated with a plaque as a branch falls off]'' That one.
:'''Lincoln''': I know, but Undersecretary Crandall doesn't. Royal Woods has the word &quot;royal&quot; in it. Maybe there's something there. I know we'd be making up a big lie, but it's the only way to save our town.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Joyce''': ''[notices something off]'' Huh? What's this?
:'''Lincoln''': No, actually, we need that back. It's on loan from the, uh, Royal Woods Museum.
:'''Joyce''': Not so fast, kid. Hmm… ''[reading on the crown]'' '''&quot;Lola Loud, Little Miss Crowning Achievement?&quot;''' ''[gasps]'' You all made this whole thing up! King George never came through here!
:'''Lola''': ''[chuckles sheepishly as she takes her crown back]'' I'll take that.
:'''Joyce''': ''[groans angrily; on walkie-talkie]'' Bring that wrecking ball! We've got a sixth Great Lake to make.
:'''Luan''': I guess it's time to say goodbye to Royal Woods.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Joyce''': ''[hopping out of the roller]'' That was a beautiful song, but I'm still going to bust this dam and flood you.
:'''Lincoln''': What?!
:'''Demolition Worker #1''': Well, we're not! That kid with the white hair is right! This town ''is'' special, and so is my town!
:'''Demolition Worker #2''': And so is mine. No town deserves to be flooded by you. Get your promotion some other way, Crandall. We don't want a sixth lake.
:'''Joyce''': ''[groans in annoyance]'' You bunch of babies! Ugh! ''[heads back into the roller]'' Come on, Donna, we'll do it ourselves.
:'''Lola''': I don't know. Might not be the best look to flood a precious small town on live television.
:'''Katherine''': This is Katherine Mulligan, covering the destruction of my town in HD-
:'''Joyce''': ''[yanks Katherine away from the camera; chuckles nervously]'' I mean, I would never flood this beautiful town. ''[waves]'' Hi, Mom, happy birthday!
:'''Todd''': ''[offering her a phone]'' '''Call for you.'''
:'''Oversecretary''': ''[on phone]'' ''Joyce, this is the Oversecretary. I saw everything. Bulldozing a perfectly good town on live TV? '''YOU'RE FIRED!'''
:''[Joyce screams in despair after being fired from her job]''
:'''Todd''': ''[pats Joyce on the back, comforting her]'' '''There, there.'''
:'''Joyce''': Don't touch me.
:'''Lincoln''': We did it! Royal Woods is saved!
:''[Everyone cheers]''
:'''Lynn''': You did it, Stinkin'!
:'''Leni''': OMGosh, Lincoln, you're a hero.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': Yeah, thanks, Loud. Way to go.
:'''Lincoln''': I'm just glad we can all stay. 'Cause…
:'''Citizens''': ''[singing again]'' ♪ We're right, we're right, we're right where we belong (Ba-ba-da-) ♪
:'''Joyce''': ''[angrily interrupting]'' PUT A CORK IN IT! ''[groans]'' WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE AND YOUR IMPROMPTU SINGING?! ''[growling as she leaves]''
:'''Citizens''': ''[finishing up]'' ♪ We're right where we belong! ♪

==''Episode 5''==

===''The Taunting Hour (5.1)''===
:'''Rita''': ''[worried]'' I've never seen Lynn freeze up like that. I hope she doesn't take it too hard.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Evening at the Loud House; The criticized Louds burst through the front door, and begin berating Lincoln]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Oh, he is in for it!
:'''Lola''': There he is!
:''[Lincoln screams as the couch tips over and himself]''
:'''Luna''': Why'd you have to tell us about our haters, dude?!
:'''Lisa''': Now we're ''all'' freezing up!
:'''Lincoln''': Look, I'm sorry I told you guys about your critics. I was just only trying to help Lynn.
:'''Lynn''': ''[irately punches a hole in the door]'' STINKOLN!
:'''Lincoln''': ''[nervously]'' I hope that's a happy &quot;Stinkoln&quot;.
:'''Lynn''': Your dumb &quot;cure&quot; ''DIDN'T'' cure me! Scoots heckled me some more and now I've got emu legs again! Wasn't even at a game. It was at the mall food court!
:'''Lincoln''': Lynn, why are you paying attention to Scoots? Why are ''any'' of you paying attention to those people? It doesn't matter what they say.
:'''Mr. Coconuts''': It's easy for you to say! You don't have to deal with it!
:'''Lola''': You just go around ruining lives!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lynn''': Dude, that Chandler's a real jerk.
:'''Lincoln''': Yeah, he is. ''[jumps off the sofa]'' But he doesn't bother me, and that's the whole point. I mean, at first he really got to me, but the more I ignored him, the easier it got. Plus, why should I care what he has to say? I'm doing what I love, and that's all that matters.
:'''Rita''': And if you can handle Chandler, I think we can handle our critics. Right, everyone?
:'''Luna''': Totally.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Yeah, I guess so.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': Hey, Loud!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[covers his ears with his fingers]'' Ah, I can't hear you, Grouse!
:'''Mr. Grouse''': I was just going to tell you-
:'''Lynn Sr.''': I'm blocking out the haters! ''[starts singing]'' ♪ La la la la- ♪
:'''Mr. Grouse''': You forgot to put on the parking brake again.
:''[Lynn Sr.'s eyes widen in horror; Outside, Vanzilla starts rolling backwards]''
:'''Kids''': Dad, Vanzilla!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[chases after his van and screams]'' BABY, PLEASE COME BACK! I'M SO SORRY!!!

===''Musical Chairs (5.2)''===
:''[Lincoln feels dejected after getting to change to another seat in Mr. Bolhofner's class at lunchtime]''
:'''Clyde''': What's wrong, Lincoln? You've barely touched the cheesecake bites I made you. Is the cheese-to-cake ratio not to your liking?
:'''Lincoln''': No, Clyde. The ratio is perfect, per usual. It's just, I don't know what to do. Bolhofner won't change my seat.
:'''Rusty''': Three words, bro: &quot;Butter him up.&quot;
:'''Liam''': Oh, he ain't wrong. ''[grabs a stick of butter]'' One time Virginia, she got her head stuck in a fence and we used a whole mess of margarine to get her out. The key is to rub it around the jowls like so. ''[rubs the butter on his cheeks]''
:'''Clyde''': ''[disgusted]'' Ugh.
:'''Rusty''': I meant he's gotta charm the man.
:'''Liam''': ''[chuckles]'' I knew that. Just testing y'all. ''[eats the butter]''
:'''Rusty''': A while back, I wanted to go skydiving with my cousin, Derek, but my dad wouldn't let me, so I spent the whole week doing nice things for him. And bam, check it! ''[plays a video of him skydiving with his cousin while screaming]''
:'''Lincoln''': Hmm. Maybe I should try buttering up the Hof.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The next day at Mr. Bolhofner's trailer; Mr. Bolhofner is grading papers]''
:'''Mr. Bolhofner''': Nope.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[enters]'' So, Mr. B, how was the band practice? That I set up, which I was glad to do, by the way?
:'''Mr. Bolhofner''': ''[chuckles]'' Yeah, right. Ugh.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[sighs]'' I guess I'll take my seat, then.
:''[Chandler has set up a bucket of hot sauce above Lincoln's seat, laughing evilly]''
:'''Mr. Bolhofner''': That's not your seat, Loud! You sit ''there'' now.
:''[He points to Lincoln's new seat, which has a bright light upon it]''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[smugly]'' Bye-bye, Chandler. ''[leaves to his new seat]''
:''[Chandler growls as he dumps the hot sauce on the seat, destroying it in the process]''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[relaxes in his new seat, and is elated to find it can recline at the push of a button]'' Whoa.
:'''Student''': Chocolate? ''[offers a box of chocolates]'' I always have extras.
:'''Lincoln''': Wow, thank you! ''[takes them]''
:'''Student''': Oh, and if you ever get tense, I keep a massager under my desk! Feel free to use it!
:'''Lincoln''': Really? I wouldn't want to impose- ''[the student puts the massager on his neck]'' Oh, yeah. ''[the bell rings; the student reaches for the massager]'' Leave it.

==''Episode 6''==

===''A Bug's Strife (6.1)''===
:''[The Louds are walking out of the house and into Vanzilla]''
:'''Rita''': Oh! Double check, make sure I have my key. Mm. ''[her husband comes out, looking quite sick]'' Honey, you shouldn't be out here. Go back inside and get to bed.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': I just wanted to see you guys off. I'll miss you while you're at Aunt Ruth's today. It's a ding-dang shame I'm going to miss the slideshow of her bus tour of &quot;the Malls of the Midwest.&quot; ''[sneezes]''
:'''Rita''': Aw. Gesundheit. It's okay. Aunt Ruth will totally understand.
:'''Lola''': ''[walking out of the house; annoyed]'' It's not fair. Why does Daddy get to stay home? ''[Lynn Sr. sneezes again; disgusted]'' Ugh, question answered.
:'''Rita''': Get lots of rest. We'll see you tonight. ''[walks into Vanzilla and starts backing up]''
:'''Leni''': Bye, Dad!
:'''Lynn''': Feel better, Pops.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Aunt Ruth's house; In the living room, she is showing the Louds her Malls of the Midwest slideshow; Leni is the only one interested in watching]''
:'''Aunt Ruth''': And here's a bathroom stall from a mall in Indianapolis. This one had auto-flushing like the ones at a fancy steakhouse.
:'''Lynn''': ''[bored out of her mind]'' Dad's so lucky to be home sleeping. Ugh.
:'''Aunt Ruth''': Shh! Lynn, you're gonna miss the massage chairs at the mall at Walnut Grove!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Lynn Sr. rushes over to Mr. Grouse's house and knocks on the door]''
:'''Mr. Grouse''': No one's home! Go away!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Mr. Grouse, I need your help!
:'''Mr. Grouse''': ''[opens the door]'' Oh, lookie, it's a Loud. Shocker. What do you want, and how fast can I get rid of you?
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Remember the spare key I gave you for emergencies? Well, this is an emergency.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': Oh, yeah, sure. I keep it in a bowl right here. ''[shows a bowl that's filled with countless keys]'' Yeah, this might take a minute.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Rita''': Oh, honey, you must've been so delirious you trashed the house! I had no idea you were ''this'' sick. You need to get to bed immediately. ''[the porch suddenly collapses, sending both her and her husband to the ground]'' But not here. Kids, come on. We have to go.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Ah! Move to Canada. Smart. Chirpy won't find us there. ''[chuckles]''
:'''Rita''': No. We'll stay with Aunt Ruth until the house is repaired. She'll be happy to help nurse you back to health. I should warn you, though, she'll ''want'' to show you her Malls of the Midwest slideshow.

===''All the Rage (6.2)''===
:'''Zach''': You mad 'cause your favorite contestant cheated?
:'''Clyde''': Zamir didn't cheat! He would ''never'' cheat!
:'''Lincoln''': Maybe you can root for a different contestant. What about Maneet?
:'''Clyde''': Maneet's cream puffs… ''[his eyes glow red, muscles bulge, and clenches his fist in fury]'' '''''ARE DRY!''''' ''[begins throwing dodgeballs in rage]''
:'''Stella''': Guys, I think we just won.

==''Episode 7''==

===''Scoop Snoop (7.1)''===
:''[Royal Woods Middle School; Liam is recording the footage of Stella reporting of an owner with their pet]''
:'''Stella''': This is Stella Zhau reporting. ''[suspiciously]'' Someone's been letting their pet go potty here on the school field and not cleaning it up. Well, the Action News Team are here to reveal the &quot;poop-etrator.&quot; ''[gasps and looks ahead to see a &quot;dog&quot; with their owner both wearing identical disguises]'' Here they come now! Kangaroos, time to bust some scum!
:''[As Liam and Stella run over to the owner and their &quot;dog&quot;, they are outsped by Katherine Mulligan and her cameraman]''
:'''Liam''': What?!
:'''Katherine''': This is a Katherine Mulligan news exclusive. I'm unmasking the serial pet pooper. ''[takes the hat off the owner, revealing to be Vic]'' The owner is Vic. And the pet pooper is Gilly!
:'''Liam''': ''[confused]'' Jumpin' jackalopes. How in the world did she steal ''our'' story?
:''[Sunset Canyon Retirement Home; Zach is recording the footage of Rusty with an &quot;old lady&quot; at a table writing on a piece of paper in the background behind him]''
:'''Rusty''': The Action News Team has received a tip that somebody famous is hiding out here disguised as an old lady. Prepare to have your minds blown.
:'''Katherine''': ''[pops out from under the table]'' I'm Katherine Mulligan exposing this &quot;little old lady&quot; as… ''[pulls the wig/mask off, revealing…]'' Mick Swagger in disguise. He's holed up here as he writes songs for his new album, &quot;Mick or Treat.&quot;
:'''Zach''': ''[annoyed in anger]'' Hey, that was ''our'' scoop!
:'''Scoots''': ''[wheeling over and points to him]'' Nobody punks ''us,'' Brit boy! PUDDING HIM!
:''[The Action News Team are peddling their bikes to Gus' Games and Grub]''
:'''Lincoln''': This is the story of the century. 
:'''Stella''': It's cool of Gus to tip us off he's discontinuing spaghetti pizza.
:'''Clyde''': ''[sobbing]'' It's a dark day for the culinary world. ''[he and Lincoln bump into the back of Katherine's '''NEWS 3''' van and fall off]''
:'''Action News Team''': ''[gasp]'' Oh, no!
:'''Katherine''': This is the ''last'' bite of the last slice of the last spaghetti pizza Gus will ''ever'' serve. ''[eats the last bite-sized piece]'' I'm Katherine Mulligan reporting that you'll never know just how delicious that was.
:'''Stella''': ''[annoyed]'' I don't get it! How does Katherine Mulligan keep scooping us?!
:'''Rusty''': Someone has to be leaking to her. My cousin Derek's studying to be a plumber. He says; &quot;You have to find a leak and plug it, or it gets worse.&quot;
:'''Lincoln''': Rusty's right. If we don't do something, this could be the end of The Action News Team.
:'''Clyde''': Wait. Can we a moment of silence for… ''[sniffles sadly]'' spaghetti pizza?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Clyde''': We're never gonna find the leak at this rate. There are too many people at school to investigate.
:'''Rusty''': ''[eating a bowl of grapes]'' We shouldn't be following the rat, we should wait at the nest.
:'''Liam''': Then what in the manure pile does that even mean?
:'''Rusty''': Katherine ''is'' the nest, dawgs! If we follow her, the &quot;leaker&quot;, or &quot;rat&quot;, is gonna come to her.
:'''Lincoln''': Then we'll have our culprit! Rusty, that's a brilliant idea! Looks like it's time for an Action News Team undercover investigation!
:''[The Action News Team poses; Next morning, Lincoln, Clyde, and Stella are outside in front of Katherine's house, suspiciously watching her from the bushes as she eats a Danish that popped out from the toaster]''
:'''Lincoln''': 8:02. Katherine takes a bite of Danish.
:'''Stella''': Roger that.
:'''Rusty''': ''[popping out]'' 'Sup, dudes?
:'''Stella''': Rusty, you're late! ''[sniffs with disgust]'' Ugh, what's that awful smell?
:'''Rusty''': I was helping my dad pick a cologne to wow his gal pal. He lands it on Undersea Daydream.
:''[Lincoln, Clyde and Stella gag over the scent and gasp as Katherine exits her house and hide behind the bushes; Katherine gets into her car and drives off - humming a tune]''
:'''Lincoln''': Suspect's on the move. Let's go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Katherine and her cameraman are eating lunch at the Burpin' Burger; Liam and Rusty hide in the trash can as Liam pops his hand out out of the lid with his phone, recording the footage]''
:'''Liam''': Rusty, ya got your knee square in my gizzard.
:'''Rusty''': Then stop moving around, dawg!
:'''Liam''': Shh.
:'''Rusty''': ''[as Katherine and her cameraman empty their trays into the trash can]'' Augh! Horseradish in the eye! Ugh.
:'''Katherine''': Katherine Mulligan wants to know, did this garbage can just talk? ''[shrugs and walks off out of sight as soon as Rusty and Liam tip over, exhausted]''
:''[Royal Woods Bowling Alley; Katherine and Patchy Drizzle are bowling against each other as Patchy knocks down the 10 pins]''
:'''Patchy''': Yahoo! Today's forecast: a 100% chance of winning for Patchy Drizzle!
:'''Katherine''': I'm getting some developing news. It ain't over till the last frame. ''[interrupted by Lincoln and Clyde, disguised as their grandmothers as she's about to bowl]''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[imitating Myrtle]'' Don't mind us, sweetie. We're just a couple of senior ladies bowling.
:''[Zach, in his bush disguise, takes out his phone to record the footage, but wobbles and collides with them, rolling them across the alley and knocking down the 10 pins]''
:'''Katherine''': Katherine Mulligan wants to know, did that bush just bowl a strike?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Okay, so Stella made a notebook of some &quot;hot news leads&quot;, but they're all fake. We &quot;accidentally&quot; dropped it here by Principal Ramirez's car. As the &quot;rat,&quot; she &quot;finds it&quot; and takes it to &quot;the nest.&quot; Any questions? 
:'''Clyde''': Can you go over that one more time? I got lost in all the air quotes. 
:'''Lincoln''': I'll explain as we hide.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[A week later, back at Tall Timbers Park, Principal Ramirez meets up with Katherine again]''
:'''Katherine''': Oh. Principal Ramirez. Glad you could make it.
:''[The Action News Team peep from a bush]''
:'''Lincoln''': Gotcha. Principal Ramirez! ''[running towards the two women along with the rest of his team]'' Action News Team!
:'''Katherine''': Excuse me.
:'''Lincoln''': Principal Ramirez, how much has Katherine Mulligan been paying you to steal our news stories?
:'''Principal Ramirez''': I don't know what you're talking about.
:'''Clyde''': ''[holds up his mic in front of her, making her trip into the lake]'' ''We're'' asking the questions here!
:'''Rusty''': The jig is up, Katherine &quot;Shady Shader&quot; Mulligan! The book Principal Ramirez was going to give you is a bunch of phony news leads ''we'' planted. Bam! ''[looks closely at the title on the book cover]'' &quot;Passion under the Pompeii Moon?&quot; Uh-oh.
:'''Principal Ramirez''': ''[angrily snatches the book from Rusty]'' You bet you're &quot;uh-oh.&quot; Ms. Mulligan and I are in a book club together. Now someone get me out of here.
:'''Katherine''': That's the story. We've been meeting to swap novels we're reading.
:'''Stella''': So you weren't leaking our stories?
:'''Principal Ramirez''': ''[brushing the lake water off her skirt]'' Of course not! Is this what you spend your time on, making false accusations?! I have half a mind to shut down the Action News Team.
:'''Stella''': Please, don't.
:'''Rusty''': No, dawg!
:'''Lincoln''': We're sorry.
:'''Liam''': Give us another chance.
:'''Katherine''': I'm Katherine Mulligan and…I agree with these children. Sure they got the story wrong, but they got real drive. It reminds me of me when I was thriving out. I say they deserve a second chance.
:'''Principal Ramirez''': ''[over her mind; annoyed]'' Fine. ''[gets out of the lake as the Action News Team high five in celebration]'' But no more wild goose chases, or knocking principals in lakes.
:'''Zach''': Promise.
:'''Lincoln''': We swear.
:'''Rusty''': It was Zach.

===''Eye Can't (7.2)''===
:'''Lisa''': ''[entering the kitchen]'' Good morn… ''[bumps into Charles]'' When did we put the trash can here?
:'''Rita''': Honey, that's Charles.
:'''Lisa''': Ah, yes, of course. Hmm. Ah! ''Here's'' the orange juice I was looking for. ''[mistakes the flower vase and takes it off the table]''
:'''Rita''': Have you noticed Lisa's been acting a little off this week?
:''[Flashback to Lisa bumping into the end table, and another of her bumping into the stair railing]''
:'''Lisa''': Pardon me, father. ''[cut to her petting a skunk, mistaking it for Cliff]'' Good boy, Cliff. Good boy.
:'''Leni''': ''[frightened]'' Uh, Lisa? That's ''not'' Cliff.
:''[Flashback ends as the skunk sprays on the siblings, screaming off-screen]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Yeah. She needs new glasses.
:'''Lisa''': ''[returns to the kitchen, soaked in water]'' Ah, silly me, I mistook a vase of flowers for orange juice. Ah! ''Here's'' the actual orange juice.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': That's hot coffee! Sweetie, look, Mom and I think it's time for you to go to the eye doctor. 
:'''Lisa''': What? Poppycock! Now if you'll excuse me, I shall be in the living room.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Todd''': ''[while removing the cactus thorns]'' '''What is the problem? It's just the eye doctor.'''
:'''Lisa''': The problem, Todd, is that I have an irrational phobia of the ophthalmologist.
:'''Todd''': '''But that does not compute. You are a genius.'''
:'''Lisa''': I said it was irrational, Todd. And I've tried to train myself to move-past it, but, I can't!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': ''[falls down the stairs and lands flat on her face in front of her parents]'' Problem solved, parents. I've forged myself a new pair of glasses, and all is well. ''[opens her eyes - still abnormal through her glasses]'' 
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Counterpoint, you ''did'' kinda just fall down the stairs.
:'''Lisa''': Eh. You say tomato, I say mildly near-sighted.
:'''Rita''': And I say tomorrow morning ''you'' are going to the eye doctor, and, maybe the pediatrician too to see if you have any damage from that fall.
:'''Lisa''': Fine.

==''Episode 8''==

===''Dine and Bash (8.1)''===
:''[Vanzilla pulls up at Lynn's table and the siblings get out and walk in]''
:'''Todd''': '''Have a good afternoon, sweeties. Don't forget to do your homework. I'll be checking.''' ''[drives away]''
:'''Lisa''': Note to self: Dial back Todd's maternal mode.
:''[As the Loud siblings enter, they're overwhelmed to see the place crowded in a rush]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Oh, good, you're here! Before you jump into homework, I need your help with the afternoon rush.
:'''Lincoln''': No problem. Guys, fan out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Oh, you kids are a big help, especially with Mom off visiting Lori for Mother-Daughter Golf Day. ''[the phone rings and answers it]'' Lynn's Table. Come in if you're able. You've got Lynn.
:'''Kotaro''': Lynn, I have some exciting news. The Doo-Dads just booked a big gig tonight at Sunset Canyon!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[gasps in excitement]'' No we &quot;Dadn't!&quot;
:'''Kotaro''': Yes we &quot;Dad!&quot; It's Bernie's third wedding! He's marrying his lady friend from Boca.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[realizes in disappointment]'' Ohh! Ding, dang, darnit! I have to work the dinner shift. I gave Grant the night off to play &quot;Orcs, Horks, Wizards, and Pork&quot; with his friends.
:'''Grant''': ''[enters the kitchen wearing a wizard costume]'' Many thanks, Spirit Wizard Loud! May your harvest be fruitful this moon! ''[leaves]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': You guys should just do the gig without this Doo-Dad.
:'''Kotaro''': But a band with just one cowbell is no band at all.
:'''Lincoln''': Hey, Dad, what if ''we'' took over the restaurant tonight?
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[touched]'' Aw, that's sweet of you guys, but a night alone's a big responsibility.
:'''Lola''': ''[chuckles]'' We know this place like the back of our flawless hands. Ew! Time for a mani.

===''Sofa, So Good (8.2)''===
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Oh, kids! We have a surprise!
:''[The siblings rush into the living room]''
:'''Lola''': You were saying about a surprise for me?
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[facing the opposite direction]'' Your mother and I have been talking… ''[Rita turns him back the right way]'' Oh, hey everybody. And since it's been seven days since we had any house or life-threatening disasters…
:'''Rita''': We thought you all deserve a big surprise.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[leaves]'' Just keep that streak going a little bit longer.
:'''Rita''': And we'll be back with the surprise by 4:00! ''[leaves and closes the door]''
:'''Lincoln''': I bet it's an indoor pool.
:'''Lucy''': I bet it's a family burial plot.
:'''Lana''': I bet it's a Clydesdale.
:'''Lynn''': I bet it's tickets to Jelly Wrestlefest 1 15!
:'''Lincoln''': No. No. ''[Lynn does a wrestling jump and landed on him as he groans]''
:'''Lisa''': ''[clears throat]'' You can call me the proverbial wet blanket, stick in the mud, resident sourpuss but, based on statistical averages, there's a 98.3% probability that we're going to mess up before the day is out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': ''[looks up to Luan, stuck whilst sitting on the ceiling]'' Uh, Luan, what's going on up there?
:'''Luan''': Looks like we've got a ''&quot;sit-uation.&quot;''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': We did it! All we gotta do now is bring the furniture back in. ''[outside, they notice the furniture is missing]'' Uh, guys, where's the furniture?

==''Episode 9''==

===''The Last Laugh (9.1)''===

===''Driver's Dread (9.2)''===
:'''Leni''': OMGosh, Lori, I'm so excited to see you this weekend!
:'''Lori''': Samesies! It'll be like old times. Spending the whole day shopping at the Outlet Mall. Did you know everything is 50% off?
:'''Leni''': So if we go twice, it'll be 100% off!
:'''Lori''': ''[confused]'' Huh?
:'''Leni''': BTDubs, Tanya's coming along. She's desperate for a new look. ''[to Tanya]'' Don't stress out, Tanya. I'll find someone to drive us there.
:'''Lori''': You know, Leni, maybe it's time you tried to get your license again.
:'''Leni''': I thought about it, then it scared me, so I stopped thinking about it. Remember the last time? ''[flashback to the events of '''&quot;Driving Miss Hazy&quot;''' where she crashed Vanzilla into a pool]'' Is this the carpool lane? ''[back to present]'' There is no way I'm going through that again. The only thing that scares me more than driving is shoulder pads and perms. ''[shudders]'' But don't worry! I'll find a way to get there.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Rita is in the kitchen writing an article while getting highly caffeinated]''
:'''Rita''': Latte, expresso, macchiato, Fortado… Oh! Those rhyme!
:'''Leni''': Mom? Could you drive me to the mall this weekend? Dad can't-
:'''Rita''': I'm sorry, sweetie, I can't. I have to finish a big article about coffee, coffee, coffee. And now I gotta pee, pee, pee! ''[runs for the bathroom while holding her bladder]''
:'''Leni''': You can't! Lola's taking one of her four-hour baths, and she's only on hour two.
:'''Rita''': ''[bolts out the back door]'' MR. GROUSE, I NEED YOUR BATHROOM! ''[peeks out]'' Maybe you can take the bus.

==''Episode 10''==

===''Bummer Camp (10.1)''===
:'''Leonard''': ''[calling in on the TV from Camp Mastodon]'' Hello? Is this thingy on? I just see me. ''[sees his grandkids as he backs up]'' Up, there you are! Ah, hi, my little minnows!
:'''Lincoln''': Hey, Gramps. What's up?
:'''Leonard''': Well, kiddos, I'm in a bind. I got a new batch of campers coming in a week, and my counselors just bailed on me during training! I'm as stuck as a boat at low tide! Why, without counselors, I'll have to close down Mastodon and return to life at sea.
:''[The kids gasp in shock]''
:'''Lincoln''': Wait, what?
:'''Leonard''': Ah, breaks my heart. I love this ding-dang camp. All the summers your dad and I spent here together… ''[sighs]'' So, if you know any counselors, just let me know. Gramps, over and out. How do you… where do I- WHOA! ''[drops the camera in the lake, where a fish swims over before the call disconnects]''
:'''Lynn''': Gramps leaving?! Major foul! I don't want him to go! ''[starts venting her rage by kicking the couch]''
:'''Luna''': None of us do, dudette. We just got him back!
:'''Lucy''': We have to find some counselors for Gramps. I'll see if any of my undertaker friends are looking to pick up extra cash.
:'''Lincoln''': Wait! We can be Gramps's counselors. Then the camp will stay open and he won't go. Who's with me? ''[the sisters cheer]'' Camp Mastodon, here we come! ''[notices they're still watching ''The Dream Boat'']'' Um, guys?
:'''Lola''': Yeah, we're gonna need five minutes. We have to see who Brynn picked!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Later, Luna repeatedly breaks shovels trying to break the barnacles, with Leni and Lola having brought a box full of them and the entire supply being exhausted. Lynn uses a hammer to break the barnacles, but fails. Lincoln grabs a jackhammer and begins removing barnacles as his sisters cheer, but is sent careening into the woods. Eventually, all the barnacles are gone, and the sisters are all exhausted.]''
:'''Leonard''': Well, rig my sails! I'm impressed, kiddos! Guess you won't have any trouble with the rest of 'em! ''[points to even more barnacle-encrusted canoes]'' Well, let me know when you're finished! ''[leaves]''
:'''Lisa''': Now we know why all those other counselors quit.
:'''Lynn''': Yeah, Gramps is running this camp like he ran his fishing boat, and it's 0% fun!
:'''Lisa''': And if he keeps this up, he'll run off his future campers, too. Mastodon will be done for, and Gramps will leave us! I'm afraid we must tell him.
:''[Lincoln is chase by a runaway jackhammer.]''

===''Sleepstakes (10.2)''===
:''[Lana gets an invitation and hides it in her hat]''
:'''Rita''': Lana, what are you hiding? Is that another note from Principal Huggins about bathing more frequently?
:'''Lana''': No. He gave up on that. ''[takes the invitation out of her hat]'' It's an invitation to a sleepover my friend Kayla's having. But as all of you know, I'm really bad at sleepovers.

==''Episode 11''==

===''Cat-astrophe (11.1)''===
:'''Harold''': Go for Harold?
:'''Nana Gayle''': Harold, it's your mother.
:'''Harold''': Oh! Hi, Mom! Clyde, come say hi to Nana!
:'''Clyde''': Hi, Nana Gayle!
:'''Nana Gayle''': Hey there, baby. What time are you boys coming around for our annual birthday celebration? You didn't forget my big day, did you?
:'''Harold''': ''[shocked]'' Your big day?
:''[Howard gasps, takes out his phone, and scrolls to Nana Gayle's birthday on their daily schedule, realizing they forgot, and faints]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Nana Gayle''': Wait, what is this? Fish cake? Milk fountain? Weird lady in a cat suit? Boys, what's going on?
:'''Harold''': ''[guilty]'' I'm sorry, Mom. We got so distracted planning Cleopawtra and Nepurrtiti's graduation party that we…forgot your birthday.
:'''Howard''': We thought if we brought everything from the cat's party here, we could still give you a great birthday.
:'''Clyde''': We're sorry, Nana. ''[sighs sadly]'' We really messed up.
:'''Scoots''': Yeah, you did. Come on, Gayle. Let 'em have it!

===''Prize Fighter (11.2)''===

==''Time Trap! (Episode 12)''==
:'''Lynn''': Oh-ho-ho-ho, man. I would hate to be you right now, Lori!
:'''Lori''': Me? Lincoln was the one who told me to chip it!
:'''Lincoln''': Well, Charles was supposed to be protecting the vase!
:'''Lana''': You leave Charles out of this! ''[hops on the couch and hugs Charles]'' Who came up with this dumb game anyway?
:'''Lincoln''': Guys! We need to figure what we're going to do about this vase. Remember what happened the last few times it broke?
:''[Flashback to Lincoln, in his Ace Savvy outfit, rappelling from the ceiling to nab the last slice of pizza from Lynn]''
:'''Lynn''': Nice try, Stinkoln. ''[hits him with the pizza box, flinging him into the vase and shattering it]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[opens the door, frantically]'' What happened? ''[notices the shattered vase and gasps]'' That was a wedding gift! ''[angrily to them]'' You're all grounded for the night!
:''[Second flashback to Lynn, Lucy, and Luan in the twins' room]''
:'''Lynn''': ''[with her rear stuck inside the vase's neck]'' Told ya it would fit. ''[farts, letting the bottle fly away]''
:'''Rita''': ''[ducks as the vase flies out of the room and shatters; enraged]'' That was a wedding gift! You're all grounded for a week!
:''[Third flashback]''
:'''Lisa''': ''[bursting in through the front door with chemicals]'' Hot chemicals coming through! ''[rushes past the vase, which starts wobbling, but rests; relieved]'' Phew.
:'''Lana''': El Diablo, drop it!
:''[El Diablo slithers past Lisa knocking the chemical out of her hands and destroying the vase with an explosion]''
:'''Rita and Lynn Sr.''': ''[gasp]'' Our wedding gift!
:'''Rita''': ''[angrily]'' You guys are grounded for a month!
:''[Back to present]''
:'''Lincoln''': If Mom and Dad find out we broke the vase again, we'll definitely be grounded for the whole year.
:'''Luna''': Can't we just get rid of it?
:'''Lynn''': ''[imitates buzzer]'' They'd notice. In case you haven't heard, it was a wedding gift.
:'''Lucy''': That vase has been nothing but a pox on this house.
:'''Lola''': Ugh! I wish Mom and Dad never got this heinous thing in the first place!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Siblings, I figured out a way to save our collective gluteus maximi. A while back, I unlocked the secret of time travel. I swore to never use it again, but desperate times call for desperate measures. My plan is simple: I'll travel back to the day of Mom and Dad's wedding. There, I'll prevent our parental units from ever receiving the vase. In layman's terms, no vase, no grounding. Any questions?
:'''Lynn''': ''[raises her hand]'' Yeah… I've got one, brainbox. Won't removing the vase affect the fabric of the space-time continuum?
:'''Lisa''': Actually, that is a highly perceptive question.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Behold! ''[the garage door is stuck]'' Aw, dang it. The door is stuck. Everyone, just crawl under… Ding-dang door ruining my reveal… ''[scoffs]''
:'''Leni''': So where's the time machine?
:'''Lisa''': You're lookin' at it.
:'''Lincoln''': You built a time machine? Out of Vanzilla? In seven minutes?!
:'''Lisa''': Well, it's not like it was hard. All I needed was an alkaline-coated crankshaft and some plutonium. Mm-hmm. ''[rips off her shirt and pants to reveal a tuxedo]''
:'''Lola''': You even had time to get a tux?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': How in Galileo's micrometer did you get here?!
:'''Lincoln''': We snuck in the back seat when you weren't looking. You have terrible peripheral vision.
:'''Lana''': We wanna help you with the mission!
:'''Lola''': And I'm not one to miss a party.
:'''Lisa''': Fine… Since you're here, you can help me find the vase. But remember, it's crucial that we get it, swap it, and get out without being seen. Let's roll!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lynn''': Mom and Dad are gonna feel pretty bad when they hear we had to- ''[feels the couch]'' This feels different.
:'''Lola''': ''[gasps]'' That's 'cause it ''is'' different! Mom and Dad would never shell out for high-quality upholstery like this!
:'''Lucy''': The blood- I mean, ketchup stains on the walls are gone.
:'''Lana''': This carpet feels softer than normal. And where are all the mud stains?
:'''Lori''': ''[sniffs]'' And it doesn't smell like Cliff's farts, or Lynn's.
:'''Lynn''': ''[preparing to fart]'' Oh, I can fix that.
:'''Lola''': ''[screaming from upstairs]'' What happened to my room?! My trophies! My headshots! Mr. Sprinkles! '''MY HEADSHOTS!!!'''
:''[The siblings check to see the twins' bedroom, now into a gym room]''
:'''Lynn''': Why is your room full of gym equipment?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Welp, it seems my hypothesis was correct. We've altered the course of history. ''[gulps]'' I'm afraid…'''''we don't exist!'''''
:''[The other Loud siblings gasp; End of Act 1]''
:''[Beginning Act 2]''
:'''Lincoln''': What do you mean we don't exist?
:'''Lisa''': We altered the timeline and erased our own existence. In this timeline, Mom and Dad never had kids. Huh. The question is why… Perhaps there is someone who could help us fill in the blanks.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lana''': Found a crankshaft! Ooh, also found this junkyard burrito. Double score! ''[surfs on a car door and lands on other trash while Lynn nabs the crankshaft and Chunk gets the burrito]
:'''Alternative Chunk''': Brilliant. I just found me lunch. ''[eats the burrito]'' A bit o' bad news, though. I think your punk friend flew the coop. ''[points to the dropped guitar, which Luna has disappeared]''
:'''Lincoln''': Now Luna disappeared!
:'''Lucy''': So did Leni.
:'''Lisa''': Of course - they're disappearing in birth order.
:'''Lynn''': We gotta move fast if we want to save the rest of us.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Without me, Chandler took my spot in the friend group.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Luan''': ''[sniffs]'' Ooh, smell that? Pet dander and farts!
:'''Luna''': Look! There are pics of us on the wall!
:'''Lincoln''': ''[checks the couch]'' Yes! The couch is sticky! What the…?!
:'''Lisa''': Yeah! The timeline has been repaired!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[off-screen]'' Kids, we're home!
:''[Their parents enter with a pizza box]''
:'''Rita''': We picked up pizza for di- ''[she and Lynn Sr. gasp upon seeing the broken vase]'' You broke our vase again?! ''[The siblings all smile]'' And you're happy about it?
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[sternly]'' Ok, that is it! Everyone is grounded for two months!
:'''Lincoln''': ''[as he and his sisters hug them]'' We'll stay home with you as long as you'd like.

==''Episode 13''==

===''Crashed Course (13.1)''===

===''Puns and Buns (13.2)''===
:'''Andre''': Benjamin Stein, you may have just started working here, but I know greatness when I see it. I am promoting you to Assistant Manager of the Burpin' Burger. ''[puts a golden Burger necklace on around Benny's neck]''
:'''Benny''': Wow, the Golden Buns? Dreams do come true!
:'''Andre''': You've earned it. You're always on time, your uniform is always clean. And you're the first person ''ever'' to organize the pickles…by size.
:'''Benny''': Thank you, Andre. I'll teach you how to organize the pickles too, Otis. Once you've recovered from that accident with the burger sign.
:''[Flashback to Otis' accident while dressed in a burger costume as he spins the sign, flinging it upwards and falls on him]''
:'''Andre''': And we all want you to get better soon. ''[hits Otis in the injured arm, making him cringe in pain]'' Especially me, because I have to fill in for you.
:'''Benny''': No one wears the buns like you, boss.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Luan''': Well, I'd better take Mr. Coconuts home. We just used our savings on that hilarious soda bit. I miss spending time with you, Benny. Ever since Dairyland closed for the off season, I don't see you very much. ''[takes out her phone and shows Benny a photo of herself in her Heidi Heifer costume, unmasking herself in front of him and scaring him, causing him to knock the popcorn cart over]'' Remember how I'd sneak up on you and scare you, and you'd knock over your popcorn cart? ''[laughs]'' I missed that.
:'''Benny''': ''[laughs]'' Classic us. I miss it, too.
:'''Luan''': ''[gets an idea]'' Wait. Benny, why don't I just work here with you? Problem solved!
:'''Benny''': I was just thinking that, too! But I don't know if Andre will go for it. He takes fast food very seriously.
:'''Andre''': ''[now in the burger costume as he puts ketchup on as war paint]'' Be the burger, be the burger. Sesame seed bun! ''[charges out the door]''
:'''Luan''': You can convince him. He'll listen to you.
:'''Benny''': You're right. I'm Assistant Manager now!
:''[Outside the restaurant]''
:'''Andre''': Absolutely not. Luan, work here? Are you kidding?
:'''Benny''': But sir, Otis is still injured and we could really use a little more help. Plus, she ''does'' have experience. Her family owns a restaurant. And she promised to leave Mr. Coconuts at home.
:'''Andre''': Fine, but Luan is your responsibility. She can be your first assignment as assistant manager.
:'''Benny''': Thanks, boss! You won't regret this!
:'''Andre''': I hope not.
:'''Benny''': ''[chuckles and heads back inside; clears throat, holding up a Burpin' Burger uniform in front of Luan]'' Welcome to the Burpin' Burger family, Luan! You start tomorrow!

==''Episode 14''==

===''Lights, Camera, Nuclear Reaction (14.1)''===
:'''Lincoln''': Todd, you were amazing! And the hologram effect Lisa installed was the coolest! ''[notices something]'' Todd? ''[passes through him, turning out he's a hologram; shocked]'' Ahh!
:'''Todd''': ''[laughs]'' '''Got you, Lincoln. You should have seen the look on your face. Actually, I can show you. Playing memory from three seconds ago.''' ''[plays the memory and replays Lincoln's shock multiple times while zooming in on his face; laughs]'' '''Good times.'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lisa''': ''[enters the dining room, panting]'' Quick question, have you seen the nuclear reactor from yesterday's shoot? Uh, not to create any panic, but it's missing. And if it falls into the wrong hands… ''[chuckles nervously]'' it could potentially destroy Royal Woods.
:'''Lincoln''': You mean that was real?!
:'''Lisa''': You asked for screen accuracy, Lincoln. Anyway, if you stumble on a glowing, unstable nuclear reactor, let me know.
:'''Lincoln''': You're in luck, Lisa. Where there's evil in the world, there's only one secret agent who can stop it, and his name is-
:'''Clyde''': Um, Lincoln, Lisa already left.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[sighs]'' Agent David Steele. We're coming up to help, Lis!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Todd''': '''So glad you could make it, Mr. Steele and friends.'''
:'''Lincoln''': This isn't you, Todd! It's the villain switch talking! Look, we're going to slowly come over and turn it off, OK?
:'''Todd''': ''[presses a button and traps the three in a net]'' '''Sorry, Agent Steele. That won't be happening, and now you can all watch annihilate Royal Woods. Oh, and one last thing.''' ''[removes the villain switch to their horror]'' '''Now I'll be in villain mode forever.''' ''[laughs]'' '''You should see your faces. Actually, I can show you. Playing memory from three seconds ago.''' ''[plays and replays the memory of them gasping]''

===''Food Courting (14.2)''===
:'''Miguel''': Leni, you ready for lunch?
:'''Leni''': Definitely. How 'bout Spaghetti on a Stick? I'm craving skewered noodles.
:'''Miguel''': Uh, sure, but, let's go to the Spaghetti on a Stick across town, or maybe one in a different town. I hear you get free marinara in Hazeltucky.
:'''Leni''': That's silly, it's right there. Come on.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gavin''': Welcome to Spaghetti on a Stick. How can I help you today?
:'''Miguel''': ''[sweating nervously]'' Uh, nice boats. Are those shoes fresh? Boy, that episode of ''The Dream Sauce,'' huh? ''[Gavin stares confusingly at him; rushes off embarrassingly, and bumps into a man in lederhosen, getting sauerkraut in his eyes]'' AHH! SAUERKRAUT IN MY EYE!
:'''Leni''': Don't worry, we are not giving up. ''[sniffs]'' And sauerkraut is actually a good scent on you.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gavin''': Hey, Miguel! Looking stylish as usual.
:'''Leni''': ''[through radio microphone]'' ''Thanks. What can you tell me about the rigatoni today?''
:'''Miguel''': Uh--uh, thanks. What can you tell me about the rigatoni today?
:'''Gavin''': Excellent question! The pasta is fresh from Sicily. Well, Sicily, Michigan, but still. So, can I put in an order from you?
:'''Scoots''': ''[interrupting]'' Quit daydreaming, blondie, and ring these up.
:'''Leni''': One moment, please.
:'''Miguel''': ''[in the exact same tone and posture]'' One moment, please.
:'''Gavin''': I get it, choosing the right pasta takes time.
:'''Miguel''': I'm gonna have to ask you to calm down and step back, please.
:'''Leni''': ''[being bothered at Scoots waving the pants in her face]'' I said, step back, please!
:'''Scoots''': And ''I'' said, I've waited long enough!
:'''Gavin''': Uh, Miguel? Is everything all right?
:'''Miguel''': ''[laughs nervously and runs off before slipping and falling into the fountain; Felix offers him a washcloth]'' Oh, thanks, Felix.
:'''Leni''': ''[while being chased by Scoots]'' SECURITY!
:'''Scoots''': ''[angrily chasing after her]'' Get back here, blondie!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Leni''': Gavin, what a surprise.
:'''Gavin''': Oh. Hey, Leni. Hey, Miguel.
:'''Leni''': Miguel, look, it's Gavin!
:'''Miguel''': ''[awkwardly snapping out of it]'' Grey! Sorry. I started to say &quot;greetings&quot;, but then I switched it to &quot;hey.&quot; Ugh!

==''Episode 15''==

===''Save the Last Pants (15.1)''===

===''A Stella Performance (15.2)''===

==''Episode 16''==

===''Hiccups and Downs (16.1)''===
:'''Leni''': Wow. I've never heard a guitar make that sound before.
:'''Lisa''': Negatory. It would appear Luna is having involuntary contractions of the diaphragm. Street name: hiccups, brought on by all of her excitement. They'll cease in no time.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Luna''': The Rumble's tonight, and there's no way I can sing like this! What am I gonna- ''[hiccups]'' -do?!
:'''Lisa''': ''[gasps]'' I know what would cure those: an anti-hiccup elixir. Yeah, if only someone would invent one.
:'''Luna''': ''[hiccups]'' Come on, sibs. One of you has to know how to get rid of my- ''[hiccups and falls to the floor, surrounded by the spilled food]'' Please, you've gotta help me!
:'''Luan''': Aw, Luna. You know we're ''&quot;hicc-up&quot;'' for it, but first things first… ''[grabs a fork; to her siblings]'' Everybody, hurry and eat while she's down!

===''The Loathe Boat (16.2)''===

==''Episode 17''==

===''Stroke of Luck (17.1)''===

===''My Cheer Lady (17.2)''===

==''Episode 18''==

===''Space Jammed (18.1)''===

===''Crown and Dirty (18.2)''===

==''Episode 19''==

===''The Orchid Grief (19.1)''===

===''Forks and Knives Out (19.2)''===

==''Episode 20''==

===''The Loud Cloud (20.1)''===

===''You Auto Know Better (20.2)''===

==''Unnamed Halloween Special (Episode 21)''==

==''Episode 22''==

===''Pop Pop the Question (22.1)''===

===''Lynn and Order (22.2)''===

==''Episode 23''==

===''Snow Escape (23.1)''===

===''Snow News Day (23.2)''===

==''Episode 24''==

===''Day of the Dad (24.1)''===

===''Small Blunder (24.2)''===

==''Episode 25''==

===''Fashion No Show (25.1)''===

===''Doom Service (25.2)''===

==''Episode 26''==

===''The Hurt Lockers (26.1)''===

===''Love Stinks (26.2)''===</text>
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:'''Seasons:''' [[The Loud House/Season 1|1]] [[The Loud House/Season 2|2]] [[The Loud House/Season 3|3]] [[The Loud House/Season 4|4]] [[The Loud House/Season 5|5]] [[The Loud House/Season 6|6]] ([[The Loud House|Main]]) | '''[[The Casagrandes|Casagrandes]]''' (Seasons [[The Casagrandes/Season 1|1]] [[The Casagrandes/Season 2|2]] [[The Casagrandes/Season 3|3]])
----

'''''{{w|The Loud House}}''''' (2016–present) is an American [[w:animated television series|animated television series]] created by [[w:Chris Savino|Chris Savino]] for [[w:Nickelodeon|Nickelodeon]]. The series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of an accident-prone boy named Lincoln Loud, who survives as the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.

==''Episode 1''==

===''Present Danger (1.1)''===
:'''Gus''': Lincoln! Bravo, buddy, but you gotta get off the table.
:'''Customer''': You have ruined my wife's garlic knots!
:'''Lincoln''': Sorry! ''[gets off the table; to the viewers]'' Well, today's a really big day. It's my 12th birthday! Feels like I've been 11 forever, so this year, I'm doing it in style. David Steele-style. I asked all my friends to come to Gus's dressed as their favorite MALICE villains. You have Golden Toe, Blowfish, Odd Bob, and Patty Whack. So far, it's been great. One moment… Nothing but net. And now that we've finished playing Agents and MALICE, it's time for…
:'''Rita''': Presents!
:'''Lincoln''': Yes!
:'''Liam''': Wahoo!
:'''Zach''': Rusty, the invitation said only Lincoln was supposed to dress up as David Steele.
:'''Rusty''': Sorry, dude. It's not my fault I look amazing in a tuxedo. Besides, check out the Loud seniors.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Well, thanks for coming, everyone. Today is a special day for a special- ''[notices his dad crying]'' Dad, you know if you cry, I'm gonna- ''[he and Leonard both break down sobbing in each other's arms]''
:'''Rita''': Lincoln, I think what your dad was ''trying'' to say is that 12 is a Loud family landmark. He and Gramps have a special present for you. Your great-grandfather gave it to Gramps when he was 12, and Gramps gave it to ''your'' dad when ''he'' was 12.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Room for one more?
:'''Scoots''': Doesn't look like there's room for one more. Because of your dang party, I'm stuck with these two bozos at the loaner's table.
:'''Flip''': Hey, you ain't no picnic yourself there, lady! ''[eats the pizza]''
:'''Chandler''': What do you want there anyway, Lincoln Lame?
:'''Lincoln''': ''[takes a seat]'' Someone nabbed one of my birthday presents, and I think one of you is the culprit. ''[takes out a deck of cards]'' The game is Go Fish. If I win, you have to turn out your pockets.
:'''Chandler''': And what's in it for us?
:'''Lincoln''': If you win, you get to keep all my… ''[close-up on his face] Presents.'' So, are you feeling lucky?
:'''Chandler''': You're on!

===''Stressed for the Part (1.2)''===
:'''Luan''': ''[practicing her moos]'' Moo! Moo! ''[falsetto]'' Moooo!
:'''Mr. Coconuts''': Nah, toots. That's too Holstein. Go lower into your Jersey range.
:'''Luan''': Oh, Mr. Coconuts, I can't wait to tell Mrs. Bernardo I got the part!
:'''Mr. Coconuts''': She'll be over the moooon, toots!
:'''Luan''': Aww.
:''[Suddenly Mrs. Bernardo walks in with her makeup running]''

==''Episode 2''==

===''Don't Escar-go (2.1)''===
:'''Lincoln''': So, what's the occasion, Clyde?
:'''Zach''': Yeah, are you buttering us up for something?
:'''Clyde''': Ok, here goes. The reason I created this ''Célébration de'' Friendship Brunch is because, I've got some big news. It all started last night…
:''[Flashback to earlier, getting a phone call]''
:'''Howard''': Clyde, can you get that? And please be careful. That phone is older than our 1930's Dust Bowl glasses.
:'''Clyde''': ''[picks up the phone and answers]'' Hello?
:'''Nana Gayle''': ''[calling on the other end from Sunset Canyon]'' Clyde, it's Nana Gayle. Ooh, I've got big news. My best friend, Fleur DuPont, just came to town for a surprise visit. She happens to be the dean of one of the finest cooking academies in the world.
:'''Clyde''': I know that academy! It's nearly impossible to get in. They wouldn't even let the Queen of England in. Granted, I've heard her sponge cake is dry-
:'''Nana Gayle''': Clyde, get your buns over here! And bring your baked goods, too! If Fleur tries them, oh, she's sure to let you in.
:''[Clyde hangs up happily; back to the present]''
:'''Zach''': So, what happened?
:'''Clyde''': She loved everything I made! In fact, Dean DuPont said I just have to pass one last exam tonight. I have to cook her an entire dinner. If I nail it, I'll be into the academy!
:'''Stella''': Yeah!
:'''Lincoln''': Yeah!
:'''Rusty''': Yeah, alright! ''[Clyde starts sniffing]'' Clyde, what's wrong?
:'''Clyde''': ''[sniffs]'' There's only one drawback: The school's in… Paris.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[despaired]'' NOOOOOOOOO! ''[collapses]''
:'''Liam''': Aww, it's happening again. Clyde's leaving us, just like when Lincoln done went to Canada.
:'''Clyde''': Let's not lose our heads here. I'm not 1,000% sure I'm going yet. They might not even pick me.
:'''Rusty''': Your food is divine. Of course you'll get in.
:'''Clyde''': I'll miss you guys like crazy, but this is an incredible opportunity. Where else could I learn to cook ''sole meunière, concombre a la menthe, escargot--''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[brushes the imagination aside]'' Wait, Clyde. What if you could learn to cook all those things here in Royal Woods? I know someone who can teach you. Then we wouldn't lose you.
:'''Rusty''': Ooh, give it a try, Clyde. Please?
:'''Stella''': Yeah, we're your crew, table 10 at lunch, the Action News Team! We have to stick together.
:'''Clyde''': But who are you thinking could teach me?
:'''Lincoln''': I know just the guy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Royal Woods Middle School cafeteria; the gang talks to Chef Pat]''
:'''Stella''': Chef Pat, do you know anything about French cooking?
:'''Chef Pat''': Pfft, I know everything. I used to be the head chef on a 60-foot yacht off the French Riviera. Here. ''[takes a buckwheat galette out of her hair net]'' Try a nutty buckwheat galette.
:'''Zach''': Nutty. Smooth. So why do you cook sloppy joes all the time?
:'''Chef Pat''': 'Cause that's what you kids like. ''[walks into the kitchen]''
:'''Lincoln''': Chet Pat, you ''have'' to teach Clyde all about French cooking, or else he's moving to Paris. ''[slides on his knees; begging]'' Please!
:'''Chef Pat''': Hmm. That's a lot to ask, but I'll do it, on one condition. While I'm with Clyde, you guys gotta take care of my niece, Waffles. If she tries to bite you, give her waffles. They calm her down.

===''Double Trouble (2.2)''===
:''[The Loud twin sisters arrive at Auntie Pam's contest for all the twins of Royal Woods]''
:'''Lola''': First rule of any contest: Know your enemy, and you can never lose. Who's gonna be our biggest threat?
:'''Lana''': Mr. Grouse and Flip?
:'''Lola''': ''[screeches her jeep to a stop]'' Um, what are you two trying to pull? You're not even related!
:'''Mr. Grouse''': What? You don't see the resemblance? ''[he and Flip both tug their mustaches]''
:'''Flip''': Ooh, it's in the flavor savers. ''[they both walk away, chuckling]''
:'''Lola''': Ugh.
:'''Lana''': And what's Liam doing here?
:'''Liam''': ''[to his twin goats]'' Okay, fellers, eye of the tiger.
:'''Lola''': His twins aren't even human!
:'''Liam''': Huh? They got every right to be here.
:'''Scoots''': ''[honks and pulls up]'' Uh, anyone seen my twin sister Mopes? She looks just like me, except for she's on a moped. ''[drives off]''
:'''Lola''': No way Scoots has a twin! The universe would never be so cruel.
:'''Mopes''': ''[pulls up]'' Anyone seen my twin sister Scoots? She looks just like me, except for she's on a scooter. ''[drives off]''
:'''Lola''': Okay, Scoots' sister is obviously just her in a wig. This contest is going to be an ice cream cake walk.
:'''Lana''': Yeah, we're the only ''real'' twins here.
:'''Cheryl''': ''[showing up with Meryl]'' Stop the presses! 'Cause Cheryl…
:'''Meryl''': And Meryl…
:'''Both''': Have arrived!
:'''Cheryl''': Sorry for being tardy, y'all. We may have gotten sucked into an episode of our favorite soap opera, &quot;Southern Hospitality.&quot;
:'''Auntie Pam''': ''[blowing her whistle]'' Alrighty, who's ready to twin it up? Let's get this competition started!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Auntie Pam''': ''[sees Liam's twin goats fighting; blowing her whistle]'' Disqualified!
:'''Liam''': Disqualified? For what?
:'''Auntie Pam''': ''[pulls out a contract]'' Violation of Auntie Pam's Double Trouble Contract. I can't have my twins fighting. They need to be united.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[As the Double Trouble contest comes to an end at sunset…]''
:'''Auntie Pam''': Our two final teams are Cheryl and Meryl, and Lola and Lana. And now for the big moment. Our Double Trouble twins and winners of a lifetime supply of ice cream are…lo and behold, Cheryl and Meryl!
:''[Cheryl and Meryl gasp and squeal in delight over winning; The Loud twins sigh in disappointment and drive back home]''
:'''Lola''': It's not fair! That crown and ice cream should be ''ours!'' ''[gasps and screeches her jeep to a stop as she and Lana see Liam's twin goats fighting over his shirt]''
:'''Liam''': ''[bursts out of a bush, going after them]'' Hey, wait up, fellers!
:'''Lana''': At least we didn't get disqualified for fighting, right?
:'''Lola''': ''[gets an idea]'' Fight clause. Lana, maybe there's a way we can ''still'' win! Cheryl and Meryl just need to start bickering, and Auntie Pam will make ''us'' the Double Trouble twins!
:'''Lana''': But how do we know they'll fight?
:'''Lola''': 'Cause you and I are going to ''make'' them.
:''[Next day at elementary school; Lana is walking with Cheryl on their snack break]''
:'''Lana''': Thanks for the snack break, Cheryl.
:'''Cheryl''': My pleasure, sugar.
:'''Lana''': I've never heard a person talk as much as Cheryl. She said, like, a gazillion sentences, and they all started with &quot;sugar.&quot;
:'''Lola''': Does that mean you got the scoop on how to split up her and Meryl?
:'''Lana''': It won't be easy. Those two are ''tight.'' They eat ice cream together every night. They watch ''all'' the same TV shows, like &quot;Southern Hospitality.&quot; They even double-date with their boyfriends.
:'''Lola''': ''[thinking]'' Hmm, I can work with all that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Cheryl''': ''[screams as she slips in the melted ice cream and falls on her back; angrily]'' Meryl, did you spill the ice cream?! Now we got a dairy river the size of the Mississippi on our floor!
:'''Meryl''': ''[miffed]'' Don't blame me, I didn't do it!
:''[They growl angrily at each other]''
:'''Cheryl''': Well, no use cryin' over spilled ice cream. We got plenty more in the backup freezer.
:'''Lola''': ''[disappointed]'' Ugh!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Meryl''': ''[answers the telephone]'' Yello, Che-Meryl residence. You got Meryl.
:'''Lola''': ''[impersonating Cheryl]'' Hey, sugar, it's me, your sister.
:'''Meryl''': Hey, sugar.
:'''Lola''': I'm in a bit of a pickle here at school. Huggins has a bee in his office. Actually, a ''lot'' of bees.
:'''Lana''': ''[hold a jar of bees]'' Come home safe, my babies. ''[takes the jar lid off, releasing the bees]''
:'''Lola''': I'm fixing to be here awhile. You should go ahead and watch the season finale of &quot;Southern Hospitality&quot; without me.
:'''Meryl''': What? Well, that don't sound like you at all! You serious about this?
:'''Lola''': As serious as a hoedown.
:'''Meryl''': Ooh, that is serious. And I am chompin' at the bit to find out this pie thief. Ooh, okay. I'll watch.
:''[The Loud twins high five as they hear Cheryl and Principal Huggins running away from the bees]''
:'''Cheryl''': ''[screaming]'' Run, Huggins! They think my beehive is ''their'' beehive!
:''[Cheryl and Meryl's apartment, evening; Meryl is watching the season finale, sobbing while blowing her nose]''
:'''Cheryl''': ''[enters the apartment, covered in bee stings]'' Ooh, boy, did I have a dickens of a day. ''[realizes]'' And are you watching the &quot;Southern Hospitality&quot; finale without me?
:'''Meryl''': Uh, you called and told me to.
:'''Cheryl''': That is a backhoe of lies! I think I would remember something like that!
:'''Meryl''': You calling me a fibber?!
:'''Cheryl''': If the kitten heel fits!
:'''Meryl''': How dare you?!
:'''Cheryl''': Hmph! ''[turns around]''
:'''Meryl''': Oh, and BTDubs, Wayland is the pie thief! ''[blows her nose as her sister gasps in horror at the spoilers, and they both go their separate ways]''
:''[The Loud twins smirk at each other while watching]''
:''[Next day at Auntie Pam's parlor; Cheryl and Meryl are still angry with each other during the unveiling of the Double Trouble sundae]''
:'''Auntie Pam''': Welcome all to the debut of our Double Trouble sundae. Exciting, isn't it, Double Trouble twins? ''[takes out the ceremonial scissors]'' Who wants to cut the ribbon?
:'''Meryl''': ''[takes the scissors]'' ''I'll'' do it.
:'''Cheryl''': I'm surprised you haven't already done it without me, you low-down pie thief spoiler!
:'''Meryl''': ''[spitefully cuts her sister's hair with the scissors as the crowd gasps]'' Oops.
:'''Auntie Pam''': ''[gasps]'' Ok, ladies, settle down.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lana''': The sign-up line for our Unlimited Double Trouble ice cream party starts here!
:'''Lola''': And remember, it's VIPs only.
:'''Cheryl''': ''[over P.A.; upset]'' Morning… ''[sobbing]'' Roosters. Today's lunch will be two identical twin fish sticks! Sorry, Principal Huggins, it's just that Meryl is ''gone!'' ''[sobbing hysterically; the Loud twins rush over investigating as Principal Huggins comforts her]'' After our tussle at Auntie Pam's parlor, we was both madder than wet hens, so this morning, Meryl packed up her stuff and left for the bus station! ''[Lola and Lana look even more guilty for what they have both done as she continues sobbing]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Meryl''': What is ''she'' doing here?
:'''Lola''': Look, Meryl, if you want to be mad someone, be mad at us.
:'''Lana''': Yeah, we wanted ice cream so bad, we tricked you two into fighting.
:''[Cheryl and Meryl gasp upon hearing this]''
:'''Lola''': It was stupid, and we feel so terrible. If anyone knows how much twins need each other, it's us.
:'''Lana''': Yeah, you can't leave, Meryl. Twins gotta stick together.
:'''Meryl''': ''[looks down at her twin, smiles back]'' Well, I guess I could stay. After all, you ''are'' the soft serve to my waffle cone.
:'''Cheryl''': ''[squeals and hops into her twin's arms]'' We gotta celebrate our reunion!
:''[Auntie Pam's; the two pair of twins are all enjoying their ice cream]''
:'''Lola''': You know, you should throw more twin soirees.
:'''Scoots''': ''[drives in]'' I heard about the twin party. Guess our invite got lost in the mail.
:'''Lola''': Spare us, Scoots. We know your &quot;sister,&quot; Mopes, isn't real.
:'''Mopes''': ''[showing up in the flesh]'' What are you lookie-loos staring at?
:'''Scoots''': You never seen twins before?

==''Episode 3''==

===''Flip This Flip (3.1)''===
:'''Lincoln''': Um, what's going on?
:''[Nacho chitters while pointing at the label of Gobblesworth Farm, swooning over it, and makes smooching noises]''
:'''Lana''': OK, from what I understand- my raccoon's a little rusty- the lady on the framed turkey label is Flip's old middle school crush, um… Tommy Hogglesfort?
:'''Flip''': Tammy Gobblesworth! ''[sighs]'' My one true love. I always thought she and I would eat food off of other people's plates together forever. ''[flashback to the middle school Christmas dance]'' But then I got locked out of the school dance and missed my one shot to impress her! ''[collapses after the flashback fades back to the present]''
:''[Nacho chitters more while pointing at the label and pantomime acts like a chicken]''
:'''Lana''': ''[translating]'' Ever since Flip found the label, he's been attempting to call and ask her to dinner, but he keeps chickening out.
:'''Flip''': ''[popping up]'' Hey, chickening out is a bit harsh.
:'''Lincoln''': Flip, you can totally do this. There's nothing to be afraid of.
:'''Lana''': Yeah. You're Flip Phillipini. You're a legend!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Welcome to Flip This Flip, where we take people that are complete disasters and make them shiny and new. Let's meet our panel of experts.
:'''Lana''': Lana: Hygiene.
:'''Leni''': Leni: Fashion.
:'''Lola''': Lola: Etiquette.
:'''Lisa''': Lisa: Interesting Conversation.
:'''Lincoln''': Lincoln: Transportation. What? You guys took all the good categories.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Flip''': You did your best, Loudsters. I blew it with Tammy.
:'''Lana''': ''[gasps]'' Blew it. Yes! ''[inhales and blows the French horn, sending Flip flying in the air with his outfit coming off, and slides on the floor in front of Tammy]''
:'''Tammy''': Oh, Phillip, are you okay? And where are your pants?
:'''Flip''': I gotta level with you, Tammy. Uh, I'm not a fancy tuxedo-wearing guy who oozes sophistication. The only thing I ooze is nacho cheese. Seriously, my sweat's orange. I was only trying to impress you 'cause you're so classy and glamorous. I'm not classy, I'm just gassy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': ''[to the viewers while peddling]'' Next time, I'm hiring a limo.

===''Haunted House Call (3.2)''===
:'''Lucy''': Okay, salespeople, normies love cheerfulness. Let's see those smiles. ''[The other Morticians make weird creepy smiles on their faces]'' Forget the smiles. ''[rings the doorbell as Mr. Grouse answers the door]'' Gloomy morning, Mr. Grouse. Would you be interested in buying some homemade eyeball pops?
:'''Persephone''': We're raising money to attend Casket Con this weekend.
:'''Morpheus''': They'll be unveiling the new Model C casket from Caskets R Us. It hovers, thereby totally removing the need for polders.
:'''Boris''': We're running a special. Four eyeball pops for the price of three.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': Not now, creepy Loud and you creepy friends. I've got my own problem. I can't catch my couch to take a nap!
:''[Inside the house, his furniture is floating]''
:'''Dante''': Oh, yeah. That's a ghost problem.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': What was your first clue? When my loveseat walked itself into the kitchen?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lucy''': Good morrow. Are you haunted by a specter?
:'''Morticians''': ♪ If a ghost is haunting you / And you have no clue what to do ♪
:'''Dante''': ''[dressed in a bedsheet while hanging]'' ♪ Don't just stand and scream ♪ ''[bumps into the camera]''
:'''Morticians''': ♪ Call the number on your screen ♪
:'''Lucy''': And now, we wait for customers.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Rodney''': It's destroying my clothing and spilling my most expensive cologne: Night Sweat! You have to help me!
:'''Lucy''': Ghost, reveal yourself. ''[A ghost dude, wearing a tuxedo T-shirt reveals himself]'' Spirit, what is your unfinished business here?
:'''Dude Ghost''': I was supposed to be buried in a real tux, but this joker put me in a tuxedo T-shirt! I want a refund!
:'''Rodney''': No refunds! Besides, your order form just said tuxedo, so I went with our casual package.
:'''Dude Ghost''': I can't cross over in this! I'll be laughed out of the afterlife!
:'''Rodney''': Hmph!
:'''Haiku''': What about an exchange?
:''[Later, Rodney has dressed the ghost dude in a genuine tuxedo]''
:'''Dude Ghost''': Now this is what I'm talking about.
:'''Rodney''': And here's your complementary bottle of Night Sweat!
:'''Dude Ghost''': ''[flinches in disgust]'' Yeah, I'm good.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Liam''': ''[as donkey Dolly's ghostly spirit reveals herself; gasps]'' It's Mee-Maw's prized donkey, Dolly.
:'''Persephone''': Do you know why Dolly is haunting you?
:'''Liam''': I do. I once broke our fence mud-wrestling with Virginia. And then, blamed it on Dolly. ''[Dolly brays angrily]'' I know. Ain't a moment I'm too proud of. Dolly, I'm gonna make this right. ''[walks into his house; off-screen]'' Brace yourself, Mee-Maw. You're about to be madder than a wet peacock.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Cheryl and Meryl's apartment; The TV is changing the channel back and forth from &quot;Southern Hospitality&quot; to &quot;Hipster Island&quot;]''
:'''Cheryl''': Somethin' keeps changing our channel. And we're missing the season finale of &quot;Southern Hospitality!&quot;
:'''Lucy''': This is ''definitely'' the work of a ghost. Spirit, show yourself.
:''[The ghostly spirit of a hipster appears, sitting next to the twins as they gasp]''
:'''Hipster Ghost''': This used to be my pad, brahs. And I need to find out who rid &quot;Hipster Island.&quot;
:'''Cheryl''': I use bra pads, too. But we gotta see if Sue Ellen chooses Brad or his evil twin, Chad.
:'''Lucy''': You could ''always'' record &quot;Southern Hospitality&quot;, and watch it later.
:'''Cheryl''': Well, we'll have to delete some of our crime shows, but, it's a deal. Make yourself comfy, I'll be right back with three bowls of ice cream.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lucy''': Nice doing business with you. Let's get you back to the portal and--
:'''Buzz''': Change of plans: Turns out, haunting people is the bee's knees.
:'''Persephone''': But what about the afterlife?
:'''Buzz''': Overrating. Later! ''[flies away]''
:'''Persephone''': Buzz is going to terrorize all of Royal Woods if we don't stop him.
:'''Haiku''': But Casket Con's only open for another hour. We're going to miss the unveiling of the Model C.
:'''Lucy''': Sigh. We created this mess, so we need to clean it up.

==''Save Royal Woods! (Episode 4)''==
:'''Lincoln''': ''[speaks to the crowd in the microphone, through Todd's megaphones]'' Hey, everyone. If I could have your attention. ''[the crowd catches their attention]'' Maybe Royal Woods ''is'' forgettable, but it doesn't have to stay that way. We could have something like those other towns, something to put us on the map.
:'''Clyde''': Then Joyce wouldn't flood our town. Lincoln, that's brilliant! But what could we create that would make Royal Woods seem memorable?
:'''Lincoln''': I bet if we put our heads together, we can come up with something amazing. So who's ready to save our town?
:''[The crowd cheers in agreement; Next day, Mayor Davis gives Lincoln a button reading '''&quot;Honorary Jr. Mayor&quot;''']''
:'''Lincoln''': Whoa. &quot;Honorary Jr. Mayor?&quot; Thanks, Mayor Davis.
:'''Mayor Davis''': It's the least I can do since you're helping to save the town.
:'''Lincoln''': So do I get to play your keyboard?
:'''Mayor Davis''': ''[plays buzzing sound on her keyboard, sternly]'' Don't push it, kid. ''[cheerfully]'' OK, time to hear ideas to save Royal Woods.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Undersecretary Crandall, thanks for coming.
:'''Joyce''': I hope this is good. I had to leave a meeting to pick the fish to stock Lake Gladys with. Spoiler alert: We are definitely leaning toward carp.
:'''Mayor Davis''': Actually, we think you might just change your mind about flooding your town.
:'''Joyce''': I'm sorry, but like I told you before, there is nothing that can cha-- ''[notices the giant Flippee; shocked]'' That's-that's…
:'''Albert''': The world's largest Flippee! HA! What do you think about them apples, huh? To be clear, it's not apple. It's actually sparkle berry cherry.
:'''Joyce''': Well, it is as big as the frying pan and less dangerous than the piranhas. Ugh, I guess there's no way we can put a lake here now. The flooding is off.
:''[All the citizens cheers when the giant Flippee suddenly starts shaking]''
:'''Citizens''': What's happening?!
:'''Lincoln''': Flip, what's going on?!
:'''Flip''': ''[sheepishly nervous]'' Uh, hey, Flippee syrup ain't cheap. I figured no one would drink it.
:'''Lola''': ''[seizes Flip by the collar, angrily]'' What did you do, old man?!
:'''Flip''': I may have swapped the syrup with some expired gasoline that wasn't selling. Is that really so bad?
:'''Lisa''': Short answer, yes. The gasoline is adversely reacting with my hyper-freeze additive, causing an accelerated release of energy, resulting in expanded volume.
:'''Todd''': '''In layman's terms, it's gonna blow.'''
:''[The giant Flippee explodes and covers everyone]''
:'''Joyce''': ''[fuming with rage]'' I will be back tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. with the demolition team! Royal Woods is history. ''[the giant Flippee tips over off the gas station, and destroys her car]'' YOU CRUSHED MY CAR! ''[screams as she notices something else]'' Donna! ''[angrily to the citizens]'' Make that 9:00 a.m.! ''GOODBYE, ROYAL WOODS!'' ''[storms off with fury]''
:''[End of Act 1; Beginning Act 2]''
:'''Flip''': ''[breaks down, sobbing]'' I'm sorry, everyone. The world's largest Flippee flopped! ''[Nacho chitters accusatively at him]'' Of course I regret using expired gas, Nacho! How can you ask me that?!
:'''Lincoln''': Wait! Everyone! I have a new idea that might save our town! Where's Todd?
:'''Todd''': '''I believe you, Lincoln.''' ''[starts chanting]'' '''Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln, Linc-''' ''[realizes everyone staring in confusion]'' '''Oh. We're not doing that?''' ''[deploys his PA system]''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[through microphone]'' Undersecretary Crandall said Royal Woods is history.
:'''Flip''': Why would you remind us of that?!
:'''Lincoln''': What if Royal Woods did have some kind of important history? Then she couldn't flood us.
:'''Lisa''': Elder brother, might I remind you that Royal Woods has no interesting history? We were named after an oak tree. ''[points to an old oak tree commemorated with a plaque as a branch falls off]'' That one.
:'''Lincoln''': I know, but Undersecretary Crandall doesn't. Royal Woods has the word &quot;royal&quot; in it. Maybe there's something there. I know we'd be making up a big lie, but it's the only way to save our town.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Joyce''': ''[notices something off]'' Huh? What's this?
:'''Lincoln''': No, actually, we need that back. It's on loan from the, uh, Royal Woods Museum.
:'''Joyce''': Not so fast, kid. Hmm… ''[reading on the crown]'' '''&quot;Lola Loud, Little Miss Crowning Achievement?&quot;''' ''[gasps]'' You all made this whole thing up! King George never came through here!
:'''Lola''': ''[chuckles sheepishly as she takes her crown back]'' I'll take that.
:'''Joyce''': ''[groans angrily; on walkie-talkie]'' Bring that wrecking ball! We've got a sixth Great Lake to make.
:'''Luan''': I guess it's time to say goodbye to Royal Woods.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Joyce''': ''[hopping out of the roller]'' That was a beautiful song, but I'm still going to bust this dam and flood you.
:'''Lincoln''': What?!
:'''Demolition Worker #1''': Well, we're not! That kid with the white hair is right! This town ''is'' special, and so is my town!
:'''Demolition Worker #2''': And so is mine. No town deserves to be flooded by you. Get your promotion some other way, Crandall. We don't want a sixth lake.
:'''Joyce''': ''[groans in annoyance]'' You bunch of babies! Ugh! ''[heads back into the roller]'' Come on, Donna, we'll do it ourselves.
:'''Lola''': I don't know. Might not be the best look to flood a precious small town on live television.
:'''Katherine''': This is Katherine Mulligan, covering the destruction of my town in HD-
:'''Joyce''': ''[yanks Katherine away from the camera; chuckles nervously]'' I mean, I would never flood this beautiful town. ''[waves]'' Hi, Mom, happy birthday!
:'''Todd''': ''[offering her a phone]'' '''Call for you.'''
:'''Oversecretary''': ''[on phone]'' ''Joyce, this is the Oversecretary. I saw everything. Bulldozing a perfectly good town on live TV? '''YOU'RE FIRED!'''
:''[Joyce screams in despair after being fired from her job]''
:'''Todd''': ''[pats Joyce on the back, comforting her]'' '''There, there.'''
:'''Joyce''': Don't touch me.
:'''Lincoln''': We did it! Royal Woods is saved!
:''[Everyone cheers]''
:'''Lynn''': You did it, Stinkin'!
:'''Leni''': OMGosh, Lincoln, you're a hero.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': Yeah, thanks, Loud. Way to go.
:'''Lincoln''': I'm just glad we can all stay. 'Cause…
:'''Citizens''': ''[singing again]'' ♪ We're right, we're right, we're right where we belong (Ba-ba-da-) ♪
:'''Joyce''': ''[angrily interrupting]'' PUT A CORK IN IT! ''[groans]'' WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE AND YOUR IMPROMPTU SINGING?! ''[growling as she leaves]''
:'''Citizens''': ''[finishing up]'' ♪ We're right where we belong! ♪

==''Episode 5''==

===''The Taunting Hour (5.1)''===
:'''Rita''': ''[worried]'' I've never seen Lynn freeze up like that. I hope she doesn't take it too hard.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Evening at the Loud House; The criticized Louds burst through the front door, and begin berating Lincoln]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Oh, he is in for it!
:'''Lola''': There he is!
:''[Lincoln screams as the couch tips over and himself]''
:'''Luna''': Why'd you have to tell us about our haters, dude?!
:'''Lisa''': Now we're ''all'' freezing up!
:'''Lincoln''': Look, I'm sorry I told you guys about your critics. I was just only trying to help Lynn.
:'''Lynn''': ''[irately punches a hole in the door]'' STINKOLN!
:'''Lincoln''': ''[nervously]'' I hope that's a happy &quot;Stinkoln&quot;.
:'''Lynn''': Your dumb &quot;cure&quot; ''DIDN'T'' cure me! Scoots heckled me some more and now I've got emu legs again! Wasn't even at a game. It was at the mall food court!
:'''Lincoln''': Lynn, why are you paying attention to Scoots? Why are ''any'' of you paying attention to those people? It doesn't matter what they say.
:'''Mr. Coconuts''': It's easy for you to say! You don't have to deal with it!
:'''Lola''': You just go around ruining lives!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lynn''': Dude, that Chandler's a real jerk.
:'''Lincoln''': Yeah, he is. ''[jumps off the sofa]'' But he doesn't bother me, and that's the whole point. I mean, at first he really got to me, but the more I ignored him, the easier it got. Plus, why should I care what he has to say? I'm doing what I love, and that's all that matters.
:'''Rita''': And if you can handle Chandler, I think we can handle our critics. Right, everyone?
:'''Luna''': Totally.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Yeah, I guess so.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': Hey, Loud!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[covers his ears with his fingers]'' Ah, I can't hear you, Grouse!
:'''Mr. Grouse''': I was just going to tell you-
:'''Lynn Sr.''': I'm blocking out the haters! ''[starts singing]'' ♪ La la la la- ♪
:'''Mr. Grouse''': You forgot to put on the parking brake again.
:''[Lynn Sr.'s eyes widen in horror; Outside, Vanzilla starts rolling backwards]''
:'''Kids''': Dad, Vanzilla!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[chases after his van and screams]'' BABY, PLEASE COME BACK! I'M SO SORRY!!!

===''Musical Chairs (5.2)''===
:''[Lincoln feels dejected after getting to change to another seat in Mr. Bolhofner's class at lunchtime]''
:'''Clyde''': What's wrong, Lincoln? You've barely touched the cheesecake bites I made you. Is the cheese-to-cake ratio not to your liking?
:'''Lincoln''': No, Clyde. The ratio is perfect, per usual. It's just, I don't know what to do. Bolhofner won't change my seat.
:'''Rusty''': Three words, bro: &quot;Butter him up.&quot;
:'''Liam''': Oh, he ain't wrong. ''[grabs a stick of butter]'' One time Virginia, she got her head stuck in a fence and we used a whole mess of margarine to get her out. The key is to rub it around the jowls like so. ''[rubs the butter on his cheeks]''
:'''Clyde''': ''[disgusted]'' Ugh.
:'''Rusty''': I meant he's gotta charm the man.
:'''Liam''': ''[chuckles]'' I knew that. Just testing y'all. ''[eats the butter]''
:'''Rusty''': A while back, I wanted to go skydiving with my cousin, Derek, but my dad wouldn't let me, so I spent the whole week doing nice things for him. And bam, check it! ''[plays a video of him skydiving with his cousin while screaming]''
:'''Lincoln''': Hmm. Maybe I should try buttering up the Hof.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The next day at Mr. Bolhofner's trailer; Mr. Bolhofner is grading papers]''
:'''Mr. Bolhofner''': Nope.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[enters]'' So, Mr. B, how was the band practice? That I set up, which I was glad to do, by the way?
:'''Mr. Bolhofner''': ''[chuckles]'' Yeah, right. Ugh.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[sighs]'' I guess I'll take my seat, then.
:''[Chandler has set up a bucket of hot sauce above Lincoln's seat, laughing evilly]''
:'''Mr. Bolhofner''': That's not your seat, Loud! You sit ''there'' now.
:''[He points to Lincoln's new seat, which has a bright light upon it]''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[smugly]'' Bye-bye, Chandler. ''[leaves to his new seat]''
:''[Chandler growls as he dumps the hot sauce on the seat, destroying it in the process]''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[relaxes in his new seat, and is elated to find it can recline at the push of a button]'' Whoa.
:'''Student''': Chocolate? ''[offers a box of chocolates]'' I always have extras.
:'''Lincoln''': Wow, thank you! ''[takes them]''
:'''Student''': Oh, and if you ever get tense, I keep a massager under my desk! Feel free to use it!
:'''Lincoln''': Really? I wouldn't want to impose- ''[the student puts the massager on his neck]'' Oh, yeah. ''[the bell rings; the student reaches for the massager]'' Leave it.

==''Episode 6''==

===''A Bug's Strife (6.1)''===
:''[The Louds are walking out of the house and into Vanzilla]''
:'''Rita''': Oh! Double check, make sure I have my key. Mm. ''[her husband comes out, looking quite sick]'' Honey, you shouldn't be out here. Go back inside and get to bed.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': I just wanted to see you guys off. I'll miss you while you're at Aunt Ruth's today. It's a ding-dang shame I'm going to miss the slideshow of her bus tour of &quot;the Malls of the Midwest.&quot; ''[sneezes]''
:'''Rita''': Aw. Gesundheit. It's okay. Aunt Ruth will totally understand.
:'''Lola''': ''[walking out of the house; annoyed]'' It's not fair. Why does Daddy get to stay home? ''[Lynn Sr. sneezes again; disgusted]'' Ugh, question answered.
:'''Rita''': Get lots of rest. We'll see you tonight. ''[walks into Vanzilla and starts backing up]''
:'''Leni''': Bye, Dad!
:'''Lynn''': Feel better, Pops.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Aunt Ruth's house; In the living room, she is showing the Louds her Malls of the Midwest slideshow; Leni is the only one interested in watching]''
:'''Aunt Ruth''': And here's a bathroom stall from a mall in Indianapolis. This one had auto-flushing like the ones at a fancy steakhouse.
:'''Lynn''': ''[bored out of her mind]'' Dad's so lucky to be home sleeping. Ugh.
:'''Aunt Ruth''': Shh! Lynn, you're gonna miss the massage chairs at the mall at Walnut Grove!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Lynn Sr. rushes over to Mr. Grouse's house and knocks on the door]''
:'''Mr. Grouse''': No one's home! Go away!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Mr. Grouse, I need your help!
:'''Mr. Grouse''': ''[opens the door]'' Oh, lookie, it's a Loud. Shocker. What do you want, and how fast can I get rid of you?
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Remember the spare key I gave you for emergencies? Well, this is an emergency.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': Oh, yeah, sure. I keep it in a bowl right here. ''[shows a bowl that's filled with countless keys]'' Yeah, this might take a minute.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Rita''': Oh, honey, you must've been so delirious you trashed the house! I had no idea you were ''this'' sick. You need to get to bed immediately. ''[the porch suddenly collapses, sending both her and her husband to the ground]'' But not here. Kids, come on. We have to go.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Ah! Move to Canada. Smart. Chirpy won't find us there. ''[chuckles]''
:'''Rita''': No. We'll stay with Aunt Ruth until the house is repaired. She'll be happy to help nurse you back to health. I should warn you, though, she'll ''want'' to show you her Malls of the Midwest slideshow.

===''All the Rage (6.2)''===
:'''Zach''': You mad 'cause your favorite contestant cheated?
:'''Clyde''': Zamir didn't cheat! He would ''never'' cheat!
:'''Lincoln''': Maybe you can root for a different contestant. What about Maneet?
:'''Clyde''': Maneet's cream puffs… ''[his eyes glow red, muscles bulge, and clenches his fist in fury]'' '''''ARE DRY!''''' ''[begins throwing dodgeballs in rage]''
:'''Stella''': Guys, I think we just won.

==''Episode 7''==

===''Scoop Snoop (7.1)''===
:''[Royal Woods Middle School; Liam is recording the footage of Stella reporting of an owner with their pet]''
:'''Stella''': This is Stella Zhau reporting. ''[suspiciously]'' Someone's been letting their pet go potty here on the school field and not cleaning it up. Well, the Action News Team are here to reveal the &quot;poop-etrator.&quot; ''[gasps and looks ahead to see a &quot;dog&quot; with their owner both wearing identical disguises]'' Here they come now! Kangaroos, time to bust some scum!
:''[As Liam and Stella run over to the owner and their &quot;dog&quot;, they are outsped by Katherine Mulligan and her cameraman]''
:'''Liam''': What?!
:'''Katherine''': This is a Katherine Mulligan news exclusive. I'm unmasking the serial pet pooper. ''[takes the hat off the owner, revealing to be Vic]'' The owner is Vic. And the pet pooper is Gilly!
:'''Liam''': ''[confused]'' Jumpin' jackalopes. How in the world did she steal ''our'' story?
:''[Sunset Canyon Retirement Home; Zach is recording the footage of Rusty with an &quot;old lady&quot; at a table writing on a piece of paper in the background behind him]''
:'''Rusty''': The Action News Team has received a tip that somebody famous is hiding out here disguised as an old lady. Prepare to have your minds blown.
:'''Katherine''': ''[pops out from under the table]'' I'm Katherine Mulligan exposing this &quot;little old lady&quot; as… ''[pulls the wig/mask off, revealing…]'' Mick Swagger in disguise. He's holed up here as he writes songs for his new album, &quot;Mick or Treat.&quot;
:'''Zach''': ''[annoyed in anger]'' Hey, that was ''our'' scoop!
:'''Scoots''': ''[wheeling over and points to him]'' Nobody punks ''us,'' Brit boy! PUDDING HIM!
:''[The Action News Team are peddling their bikes to Gus' Games and Grub]''
:'''Lincoln''': This is the story of the century. 
:'''Stella''': It's cool of Gus to tip us off he's discontinuing spaghetti pizza.
:'''Clyde''': ''[sobbing]'' It's a dark day for the culinary world. ''[he and Lincoln bump into the back of Katherine's '''NEWS 3''' van and fall off]''
:'''Action News Team''': ''[gasp]'' Oh, no!
:'''Katherine''': This is the ''last'' bite of the last slice of the last spaghetti pizza Gus will ''ever'' serve. ''[eats the last bite-sized piece]'' I'm Katherine Mulligan reporting that you'll never know just how delicious that was.
:'''Stella''': ''[annoyed]'' I don't get it! How does Katherine Mulligan keep scooping us?!
:'''Rusty''': Someone has to be leaking to her. My cousin Derek's studying to be a plumber. He says; &quot;You have to find a leak and plug it, or it gets worse.&quot;
:'''Lincoln''': Rusty's right. If we don't do something, this could be the end of The Action News Team.
:'''Clyde''': Wait. Can we a moment of silence for… ''[sniffles sadly]'' spaghetti pizza?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Clyde''': We're never gonna find the leak at this rate. There are too many people at school to investigate.
:'''Rusty''': ''[eating a bowl of grapes]'' We shouldn't be following the rat, we should wait at the nest.
:'''Liam''': Then what in the manure pile does that even mean?
:'''Rusty''': Katherine ''is'' the nest, dawgs! If we follow her, the &quot;leaker&quot;, or &quot;rat&quot;, is gonna come to her.
:'''Lincoln''': Then we'll have our culprit! Rusty, that's a brilliant idea! Looks like it's time for an Action News Team undercover investigation!
:''[The Action News Team poses; Next morning, Lincoln, Clyde, and Stella are outside in front of Katherine's house, suspiciously watching her from the bushes as she eats a Danish that popped out from the toaster]''
:'''Lincoln''': 8:02. Katherine takes a bite of Danish.
:'''Stella''': Roger that.
:'''Rusty''': ''[popping out]'' 'Sup, dudes?
:'''Stella''': Rusty, you're late! ''[sniffs with disgust]'' Ugh, what's that awful smell?
:'''Rusty''': I was helping my dad pick a cologne to wow his gal pal. He lands it on Undersea Daydream.
:''[Lincoln, Clyde and Stella gag over the scent and gasp as Katherine exits her house and hide behind the bushes; Katherine gets into her car and drives off - humming a tune]''
:'''Lincoln''': Suspect's on the move. Let's go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Katherine and her cameraman are eating lunch at the Burpin' Burger; Liam and Rusty hide in the trash can as Liam pops his hand out out of the lid with his phone, recording the footage]''
:'''Liam''': Rusty, ya got your knee square in my gizzard.
:'''Rusty''': Then stop moving around, dawg!
:'''Liam''': Shh.
:'''Rusty''': ''[as Katherine and her cameraman empty their trays into the trash can]'' Augh! Horseradish in the eye! Ugh.
:'''Katherine''': Katherine Mulligan wants to know, did this garbage can just talk? ''[shrugs and walks off out of sight as soon as Rusty and Liam tip over, exhausted]''
:''[Royal Woods Bowling Alley; Katherine and Patchy Drizzle are bowling against each other as Patchy knocks down the 10 pins]''
:'''Patchy''': Yahoo! Today's forecast: a 100% chance of winning for Patchy Drizzle!
:'''Katherine''': I'm getting some developing news. It ain't over till the last frame. ''[interrupted by Lincoln and Clyde, disguised as their grandmothers as she's about to bowl]''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[imitating Myrtle]'' Don't mind us, sweetie. We're just a couple of senior ladies bowling.
:''[Zach, in his bush disguise, takes out his phone to record the footage, but wobbles and collides with them, rolling them across the alley and knocking down the 10 pins]''
:'''Katherine''': Katherine Mulligan wants to know, did that bush just bowl a strike?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Okay, so Stella made a notebook of some &quot;hot news leads&quot;, but they're all fake. We &quot;accidentally&quot; dropped it here by Principal Ramirez's car. As the &quot;rat,&quot; she &quot;finds it&quot; and takes it to &quot;the nest.&quot; Any questions? 
:'''Clyde''': Can you go over that one more time? I got lost in all the air quotes. 
:'''Lincoln''': I'll explain as we hide.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[A week later, back at Tall Timbers Park, Principal Ramirez meets up with Katherine again]''
:'''Katherine''': Oh. Principal Ramirez. Glad you could make it.
:''[The Action News Team peep from a bush]''
:'''Lincoln''': Gotcha. Principal Ramirez! ''[running towards the two women along with the rest of his team]'' Action News Team!
:'''Katherine''': Excuse me.
:'''Lincoln''': Principal Ramirez, how much has Katherine Mulligan been paying you to steal our news stories?
:'''Principal Ramirez''': I don't know what you're talking about.
:'''Clyde''': ''[holds up his mic in front of her, making her trip into the lake]'' ''We're'' asking the questions here!
:'''Rusty''': The jig is up, Katherine &quot;Shady Shader&quot; Mulligan! The book Principal Ramirez was going to give you is a bunch of phony news leads ''we'' planted. Bam! ''[looks closely at the title on the book cover]'' &quot;Passion under the Pompeii Moon?&quot; Uh-oh.
:'''Principal Ramirez''': ''[angrily snatches the book from Rusty]'' You bet you're &quot;uh-oh.&quot; Ms. Mulligan and I are in a book club together. Now someone get me out of here.
:'''Katherine''': That's the story. We've been meeting to swap novels we're reading.
:'''Stella''': So you weren't leaking our stories?
:'''Principal Ramirez''': ''[brushing the lake water off her skirt]'' Of course not! Is this what you spend your time on, making false accusations?! I have half a mind to shut down the Action News Team.
:'''Stella''': Please, don't.
:'''Rusty''': No, dawg!
:'''Lincoln''': We're sorry.
:'''Liam''': Give us another chance.
:'''Katherine''': I'm Katherine Mulligan and…I agree with these children. Sure they got the story wrong, but they got real drive. It reminds me of me when I was thriving out. I say they deserve a second chance.
:'''Principal Ramirez''': ''[over her mind; annoyed]'' Fine. ''[gets out of the lake as the Action News Team high five in celebration]'' But no more wild goose chases, or knocking principals in lakes.
:'''Zach''': Promise.
:'''Lincoln''': We swear.
:'''Rusty''': It was Zach.

===''Eye Can't (7.2)''===
:'''Lisa''': ''[entering the kitchen]'' Good morn… ''[bumps into Charles]'' When did we put the trash can here?
:'''Rita''': Honey, that's Charles.
:'''Lisa''': Ah, yes, of course. Hmm. Ah! ''Here's'' the orange juice I was looking for. ''[mistakes the flower vase and takes it off the table]''
:'''Rita''': Have you noticed Lisa's been acting a little off this week?
:''[Flashback to Lisa bumping into the end table, and another of her bumping into the stair railing]''
:'''Lisa''': Pardon me, father. ''[cut to her petting a skunk, mistaking it for Cliff]'' Good boy, Cliff. Good boy.
:'''Leni''': ''[frightened]'' Uh, Lisa? That's ''not'' Cliff.
:''[Flashback ends as the skunk sprays on the siblings, screaming off-screen]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Yeah. She needs new glasses.
:'''Lisa''': ''[returns to the kitchen, soaked in water]'' Ah, silly me, I mistook a vase of flowers for orange juice. Ah! ''Here's'' the actual orange juice.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': That's hot coffee! Sweetie, look, Mom and I think it's time for you to go to the eye doctor. 
:'''Lisa''': What? Poppycock! Now if you'll excuse me, I shall be in the living room.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Todd''': ''[while removing the cactus thorns]'' '''What is the problem? It's just the eye doctor.'''
:'''Lisa''': The problem, Todd, is that I have an irrational phobia of the ophthalmologist.
:'''Todd''': '''But that does not compute. You are a genius.'''
:'''Lisa''': I said it was irrational, Todd. And I've tried to train myself to move-past it, but, I can't!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': ''[falls down the stairs and lands flat on her face in front of her parents]'' Problem solved, parents. I've forged myself a new pair of glasses, and all is well. ''[opens her eyes - still abnormal through her glasses]'' 
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Counterpoint, you ''did'' kinda just fall down the stairs.
:'''Lisa''': Eh. You say tomato, I say mildly near-sighted.
:'''Rita''': And I say tomorrow morning ''you'' are going to the eye doctor, and, maybe the pediatrician too to see if you have any damage from that fall.
:'''Lisa''': Fine.

==''Episode 8''==

===''Dine and Bash (8.1)''===
:''[Vanzilla pulls up at Lynn's table and the siblings get out and walk in]''
:'''Todd''': '''Have a good afternoon, sweeties. Don't forget to do your homework. I'll be checking.''' ''[drives away]''
:'''Lisa''': Note to self: Dial back Todd's maternal mode.
:''[As the Loud siblings enter, they're overwhelmed to see the place crowded in a rush]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Oh, good, you're here! Before you jump into homework, I need your help with the afternoon rush.
:'''Lincoln''': No problem. Guys, fan out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Oh, you kids are a big help, especially with Mom off visiting Lori for Mother-Daughter Golf Day. ''[the phone rings and answers it]'' Lynn's Table. Come in if you're able. You've got Lynn.
:'''Kotaro''': Lynn, I have some exciting news. The Doo-Dads just booked a big gig tonight at Sunset Canyon!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[gasps in excitement]'' No we &quot;Dadn't!&quot;
:'''Kotaro''': Yes we &quot;Dad!&quot; It's Bernie's third wedding! He's marrying his lady friend from Boca.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[realizes in disappointment]'' Ohh! Ding, dang, darnit! I have to work the dinner shift. I gave Grant the night off to play &quot;Orcs, Horks, Wizards, and Pork&quot; with his friends.
:'''Grant''': ''[enters the kitchen wearing a wizard costume]'' Many thanks, Spirit Wizard Loud! May your harvest be fruitful this moon! ''[leaves]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': You guys should just do the gig without this Doo-Dad.
:'''Kotaro''': But a band with just one cowbell is no band at all.
:'''Lincoln''': Hey, Dad, what if ''we'' took over the restaurant tonight?
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[touched]'' Aw, that's sweet of you guys, but a night alone's a big responsibility.
:'''Lola''': ''[chuckles]'' We know this place like the back of our flawless hands. Ew! Time for a mani.

===''Sofa, So Good (8.2)''===
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Oh, kids! We have a surprise!
:''[The siblings rush into the living room]''
:'''Lola''': You were saying about a surprise for me?
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[facing the opposite direction]'' Your mother and I have been talking… ''[Rita turns him back the right way]'' Oh, hey everybody. And since it's been seven days since we had any house or life-threatening disasters…
:'''Rita''': We thought you all deserve a big surprise.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[leaves]'' Just keep that streak going a little bit longer.
:'''Rita''': And we'll be back with the surprise by 4:00! ''[leaves and closes the door]''
:'''Lincoln''': I bet it's an indoor pool.
:'''Lucy''': I bet it's a family burial plot.
:'''Lana''': I bet it's a Clydesdale.
:'''Lynn''': I bet it's tickets to Jelly Wrestlefest 1 15!
:'''Lincoln''': No. No. ''[Lynn does a wrestling jump and landed on him as he groans]''
:'''Lisa''': ''[clears throat]'' You can call me the proverbial wet blanket, stick in the mud, resident sourpuss but, based on statistical averages, there's a 98.3% probability that we're going to mess up before the day is out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': ''[looks up to Luan, stuck whilst sitting on the ceiling]'' Uh, Luan, what's going on up there?
:'''Luan''': Looks like we've got a ''&quot;sit-uation.&quot;''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': We did it! All we gotta do now is bring the furniture back in. ''[outside, they notice the furniture is missing]'' Uh, guys, where's the furniture?

==''Episode 9''==

===''The Last Laugh (9.1)''===

===''Driver's Dread (9.2)''===
:'''Leni''': OMGosh, Lori, I'm so excited to see you this weekend!
:'''Lori''': Samesies! It'll be like old times. Spending the whole day shopping at the Outlet Mall. Did you know everything is 50% off?
:'''Leni''': So if we go twice, it'll be 100% off!
:'''Lori''': ''[confused]'' Huh?
:'''Leni''': BTDubs, Tanya's coming along. She's desperate for a new look. ''[to Tanya]'' Don't stress out, Tanya. I'll find someone to drive us there.
:'''Lori''': You know, Leni, maybe it's time you tried to get your license again.
:'''Leni''': I thought about it, then it scared me, so I stopped thinking about it. Remember the last time? ''[flashback to the events of '''&quot;Driving Miss Hazy&quot;''' where she crashed Vanzilla into a pool]'' Is this the carpool lane? ''[back to present]'' There is no way I'm going through that again. The only thing that scares me more than driving is shoulder pads and perms. ''[shudders]'' But don't worry! I'll find a way to get there.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Rita is in the kitchen writing an article while getting highly caffeinated]''
:'''Rita''': Latte, expresso, macchiato, Fortado… Oh! Those rhyme!
:'''Leni''': Mom? Could you drive me to the mall this weekend? Dad can't-
:'''Rita''': I'm sorry, sweetie, I can't. I have to finish a big article about coffee, coffee, coffee. And now I gotta pee, pee, pee! ''[runs for the bathroom while holding her bladder]''
:'''Leni''': You can't! Lola's taking one of her four-hour baths, and she's only on hour two.
:'''Rita''': ''[bolts out the back door]'' MR. GROUSE, I NEED YOUR BATHROOM! ''[peeks out]'' Maybe you can take the bus.

==''Episode 10''==

===''Bummer Camp (10.1)''===
:'''Leonard''': ''[calling in on the TV from Camp Mastodon]'' Hello? Is this thingy on? I just see me. ''[sees his grandkids as he backs up]'' Up, there you are! Ah, hi, my little minnows!
:'''Lincoln''': Hey, Gramps. What's up?
:'''Leonard''': Well, kiddos, I'm in a bind. I got a new batch of campers coming in a week, and my counselors just bailed on me during training! I'm as stuck as a boat at low tide! Why, without counselors, I'll have to close down Mastodon and return to life at sea.
:''[The kids gasp in shock]''
:'''Lincoln''': Wait, what?
:'''Leonard''': Ah, breaks my heart. I love this ding-dang camp. All the summers your dad and I spent here together… ''[sighs]'' So, if you know any counselors, just let me know. Gramps, over and out. How do you… where do I- WHOA! ''[drops the camera in the lake, where a fish swims over before the call disconnects]''
:'''Lynn''': Gramps leaving?! Major foul! I don't want him to go! ''[starts venting her rage by kicking the couch]''
:'''Luna''': None of us do, dudette. We just got him back!
:'''Lucy''': We have to find some counselors for Gramps. I'll see if any of my undertaker friends are looking to pick up extra cash.
:'''Lincoln''': Wait! We can be Gramps's counselors. Then the camp will stay open and he won't go. Who's with me? ''[the sisters cheer]'' Camp Mastodon, here we come! ''[notices they're still watching ''The Dream Boat'']'' Um, guys?
:'''Lola''': Yeah, we're gonna need five minutes. We have to see who Brynn picked!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Later, Luna repeatedly breaks shovels trying to break the barnacles, with Leni and Lola having brought a box full of them and the entire supply being exhausted. Lynn uses a hammer to break the barnacles, but fails. Lincoln grabs a jackhammer and begins removing barnacles as his sisters cheer, but is sent careening into the woods. Eventually, all the barnacles are gone, and the sisters are all exhausted.]''
:'''Leonard''': Well, rig my sails! I'm impressed, kiddos! Guess you won't have any trouble with the rest of 'em! ''[points to even more barnacle-encrusted canoes]'' Well, let me know when you're finished! ''[leaves]''
:'''Lisa''': Now we know why all those other counselors quit.
:'''Lynn''': Yeah, Gramps is running this camp like he ran his fishing boat, and it's 0% fun!
:'''Lisa''': And if he keeps this up, he'll run off his future campers, too. Mastodon will be done for, and Gramps will leave us! I'm afraid we must tell him.
:''[Lincoln is chase by a runaway jackhammer.]''

===''Sleepstakes (10.2)''===
:''[Lana gets an invitation and hides it in her hat]''
:'''Rita''': Lana, what are you hiding? Is that another note from Principal Huggins about bathing more frequently?
:'''Lana''': No. He gave up on that. ''[takes the invitation out of her hat]'' It's an invitation to a sleepover my friend Kayla's having. But as all of you know, I'm really bad at sleepovers.

==''Episode 11''==

===''Cat-astrophe (11.1)''===
:'''Harold''': Go for Harold?
:'''Nana Gayle''': Harold, it's your mother.
:'''Harold''': Oh! Hi, Mom! Clyde, come say hi to Nana!
:'''Clyde''': Hi, Nana Gayle!
:'''Nana Gayle''': Hey there, baby. What time are you boys coming around for our annual birthday celebration? You didn't forget my big day, did you?
:'''Harold''': ''[shocked]'' Your big day?
:''[Howard gasps, takes out his phone, and scrolls to Nana Gayle's birthday on their daily schedule, realizing they forgot, and faints]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Nana Gayle''': Wait, what is this? Fish cake? Milk fountain? Weird lady in a cat suit? Boys, what's going on?
:'''Harold''': ''[guilty]'' I'm sorry, Mom. We got so distracted planning Cleopawtra and Nepurrtiti's graduation party that we…forgot your birthday.
:'''Howard''': We thought if we brought everything from the cat's party here, we could still give you a great birthday.
:'''Clyde''': We're sorry, Nana. ''[sighs sadly]'' We really messed up.
:'''Scoots''': Yeah, you did. Come on, Gayle. Let 'em have it!

===''Prize Fighter (11.2)''===

==''Time Trap! (Episode 12)''==
:'''Lynn''': Oh-ho-ho-ho, man. I would hate to be you right now, Lori!
:'''Lori''': Me? Lincoln was the one who told me to chip it!
:'''Lincoln''': Well, Charles was supposed to be protecting the vase!
:'''Lana''': You leave Charles out of this! ''[hops on the couch and hugs Charles]'' Who came up with this dumb game anyway?
:'''Lincoln''': Guys! We need to figure what we're going to do about this vase. Remember what happened the last few times it broke?
:''[Flashback to Lincoln, in his Ace Savvy outfit, rappelling from the ceiling to nab the last slice of pizza from Lynn]''
:'''Lynn''': Nice try, Stinkoln. ''[hits him with the pizza box, flinging him into the vase and shattering it]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[opens the door, frantically]'' What happened? ''[notices the shattered vase and gasps]'' That was a wedding gift! ''[angrily to them]'' You're all grounded for the night!
:''[Second flashback to Lynn, Lucy, and Luan in the twins' room]''
:'''Lynn''': ''[with her rear stuck inside the vase's neck]'' Told ya it would fit. ''[farts, letting the bottle fly away]''
:'''Rita''': ''[ducks as the vase flies out of the room and shatters; enraged]'' That was a wedding gift! You're all grounded for a week!
:''[Third flashback]''
:'''Lisa''': ''[bursting in through the front door with chemicals]'' Hot chemicals coming through! ''[rushes past the vase, which starts wobbling, but rests; relieved]'' Phew.
:'''Lana''': El Diablo, drop it!
:''[El Diablo slithers past Lisa knocking the chemical out of her hands and destroying the vase with an explosion]''
:'''Rita and Lynn Sr.''': ''[gasp]'' Our wedding gift!
:'''Rita''': ''[angrily]'' You guys are grounded for a month!
:''[Back to present]''
:'''Lincoln''': If Mom and Dad find out we broke the vase again, we'll definitely be grounded for the whole year.
:'''Luna''': Can't we just get rid of it?
:'''Lynn''': ''[imitates buzzer]'' They'd notice. In case you haven't heard, it was a wedding gift.
:'''Lucy''': That vase has been nothing but a pox on this house.
:'''Lola''': Ugh! I wish Mom and Dad never got this heinous thing in the first place!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Siblings, I figured out a way to save our collective gluteus maximi. A while back, I unlocked the secret of time travel. I swore to never use it again, but desperate times call for desperate measures. My plan is simple: I'll travel back to the day of Mom and Dad's wedding. There, I'll prevent our parental units from ever receiving the vase. In layman's terms, no vase, no grounding. Any questions?
:'''Lynn''': ''[raises her hand]'' Yeah… I've got one, brainbox. Won't removing the vase affect the fabric of the space-time continuum?
:'''Lisa''': Actually, that is a highly perceptive question.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Behold! ''[the garage door is stuck]'' Aw, dang it. The door is stuck. Everyone, just crawl under… Ding-dang door ruining my reveal… ''[scoffs]''
:'''Leni''': So where's the time machine?
:'''Lisa''': You're lookin' at it.
:'''Lincoln''': You built a time machine? Out of Vanzilla? In seven minutes?!
:'''Lisa''': Well, it's not like it was hard. All I needed was an alkaline-coated crankshaft and some plutonium. Mm-hmm. ''[rips off her shirt and pants to reveal a tuxedo]''
:'''Lola''': You even had time to get a tux?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': How in Galileo's micrometer did you get here?!
:'''Lincoln''': We snuck in the back seat when you weren't looking. You have terrible peripheral vision.
:'''Lana''': We wanna help you with the mission!
:'''Lola''': And I'm not one to miss a party.
:'''Lisa''': Fine… Since you're here, you can help me find the vase. But remember, it's crucial that we get it, swap it, and get out without being seen. Let's roll!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lynn''': Mom and Dad are gonna feel pretty bad when they hear we had to- ''[feels the couch]'' This feels different.
:'''Lola''': ''[gasps]'' That's 'cause it ''is'' different! Mom and Dad would never shell out for high-quality upholstery like this!
:'''Lucy''': The blood- I mean, ketchup stains on the walls are gone.
:'''Lana''': This carpet feels softer than normal. And where are all the mud stains?
:'''Lori''': ''[sniffs]'' And it doesn't smell like Cliff's farts, or Lynn's.
:'''Lynn''': ''[preparing to fart]'' Oh, I can fix that.
:'''Lola''': ''[screaming from upstairs]'' What happened to my room?! My trophies! My headshots! Mr. Sprinkles! '''MY HEADSHOTS!!!'''
:''[The siblings check to see the twins' bedroom, now into a gym room]''
:'''Lynn''': Why is your room full of gym equipment?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Welp, it seems my hypothesis was correct. We've altered the course of history. ''[gulps]'' I'm afraid…'''''we don't exist!'''''
:''[The other Loud siblings gasp; End of Act 1]''
:''[Beginning Act 2]''
:'''Lincoln''': What do you mean we don't exist?
:'''Lisa''': We altered the timeline and erased our own existence. In this timeline, Mom and Dad never had kids. Huh. The question is why… Perhaps there is someone who could help us fill in the blanks.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lana''': Found a crankshaft! Ooh, also found this junkyard burrito. Double score! ''[surfs on a car door and lands on other trash while Lynn nabs the crankshaft and Chunk gets the burrito]
:'''Alternative Chunk''': Brilliant. I just found me lunch. ''[eats the burrito]'' A bit o' bad news, though. I think your punk friend flew the coop. ''[points to the dropped guitar, which Luna has disappeared]''
:'''Lincoln''': Now Luna disappeared!
:'''Lucy''': So did Leni.
:'''Lisa''': Of course - they're disappearing in birth order.
:'''Lynn''': We gotta move fast if we want to save the rest of us.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Without me, Chandler took my spot in the friend group.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Luan''': ''[sniffs]'' Ooh, smell that? Pet dander and farts!
:'''Luna''': Look! There are pics of us on the wall!
:'''Lincoln''': ''[checks the couch]'' Yes! The couch is sticky! What the…?!
:'''Lisa''': Yeah! The timeline has been repaired!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[off-screen]'' Kids, we're home!
:''[Their parents enter with a pizza box]''
:'''Rita''': We picked up pizza for di- ''[she and Lynn Sr. gasp upon seeing the broken vase]'' You broke our vase again?! ''[The siblings all smile]'' And you're happy about it?
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[sternly]'' Ok, that is it! Everyone is grounded for two months!
:'''Lincoln''': ''[as he and his sisters hug them]'' We'll stay home with you as long as you'd like.

==''Episode 13''==

===''Crashed Course (13.1)''===

===''Puns and Buns (13.2)''===
:'''Andre''': Benjamin Stein, you may have just started working here, but I know greatness when I see it. I am promoting you to Assistant Manager of the Burpin' Burger. ''[puts a golden Burger necklace on around Benny's neck]''
:'''Benny''': Wow, the Golden Buns? Dreams do come true!
:'''Andre''': You've earned it. You're always on time, your uniform is always clean. And you're the first person ''ever'' to organize the pickles…by size.
:'''Benny''': Thank you, Andre. I'll teach you how to organize the pickles too, Otis. Once you've recovered from that accident with the burger sign.
:''[Flashback to Otis' accident while dressed in a burger costume as he spins the sign, flinging it upwards and falls on him]''
:'''Andre''': And we all want you to get better soon. ''[hits Otis in the injured arm, making him cringe in pain]'' Especially me, because I have to fill in for you.
:'''Benny''': No one wears the buns like you, boss.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Luan''': Well, I'd better take Mr. Coconuts home. We just used our savings on that hilarious soda bit. I miss spending time with you, Benny. Ever since Dairyland closed for the off season, I don't see you very much. ''[takes out her phone and shows Benny a photo of herself in her Heidi Heifer costume, unmasking herself in front of him and scaring him, causing him to knock the popcorn cart over]'' Remember how I'd sneak up on you and scare you, and you'd knock over your popcorn cart? ''[laughs]'' I missed that.
:'''Benny''': ''[laughs]'' Classic us. I miss it, too.
:'''Luan''': ''[gets an idea]'' Wait. Benny, why don't I just work here with you? Problem solved!
:'''Benny''': I was just thinking that, too! But I don't know if Andre will go for it. He takes fast food very seriously.
:'''Andre''': ''[now in the burger costume as he puts ketchup on as war paint]'' Be the burger, be the burger. Sesame seed bun! ''[charges out the door]''
:'''Luan''': You can convince him. He'll listen to you.
:'''Benny''': You're right. I'm Assistant Manager now!
:''[Outside the restaurant]''
:'''Andre''': Absolutely not. Luan, work here? Are you kidding?
:'''Benny''': But sir, Otis is still injured and we could really use a little more help. Plus, she ''does'' have experience. Her family owns a restaurant. And she promised to leave Mr. Coconuts at home.
:'''Andre''': Fine, but Luan is your responsibility. She can be your first assignment as assistant manager.
:'''Benny''': Thanks, boss! You won't regret this!
:'''Andre''': I hope not.
:'''Benny''': ''[chuckles and heads back inside; clears throat, holding up a Burpin' Burger uniform in front of Luan]'' Welcome to the Burpin' Burger family, Luan! You start tomorrow!

==''Episode 14''==

===''Lights, Camera, Nuclear Reaction (14.1)''===
:'''Lincoln''': Todd, you were amazing! And the hologram effect Lisa installed was the coolest! ''[notices something]'' Todd? ''[passes through him, turning out he's a hologram; shocked]'' Ahh!
:'''Todd''': ''[laughs]'' '''Got you, Lincoln. You should have seen the look on your face. Actually, I can show you. Playing memory from three seconds ago.''' ''[plays the memory and replays Lincoln's shock multiple times while zooming in on his face; laughs]'' '''Good times.'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lisa''': ''[enters the dining room, panting]'' Quick question, have you seen the nuclear reactor from yesterday's shoot? Uh, not to create any panic, but it's missing. And if it falls into the wrong hands… ''[chuckles nervously]'' it could potentially destroy Royal Woods.
:'''Lincoln''': You mean that was real?!
:'''Lisa''': You asked for screen accuracy, Lincoln. Anyway, if you stumble on a glowing, unstable nuclear reactor, let me know.
:'''Lincoln''': You're in luck, Lisa. Where there's evil in the world, there's only one secret agent who can stop it, and his name is-
:'''Clyde''': Um, Lincoln, Lisa already left.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[sighs]'' Agent David Steele. We're coming up to help, Lis!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Todd''': '''So glad you could make it, Mr. Steele and friends.'''
:'''Lincoln''': This isn't you, Todd! It's the villain switch talking! Look, we're going to slowly come over and turn it off, OK?
:'''Todd''': ''[presses a button and traps the three in a net]'' '''Sorry, Agent Steele. That won't be happening, and now you can all watch annihilate Royal Woods. Oh, and one last thing.''' ''[removes the villain switch to their horror]'' '''Now I'll be in villain mode forever.''' ''[laughs]'' '''You should see your faces. Actually, I can show you. Playing memory from three seconds ago.''' ''[plays and replays the memory of them gasping]''

===''Food Courting (14.2)''===
:'''Miguel''': Leni, you ready for lunch?
:'''Leni''': Definitely. How 'bout Spaghetti on a Stick? I'm craving skewered noodles.
:'''Miguel''': Uh, sure, but, let's go to the Spaghetti on a Stick across town, or maybe one in a different town. I hear you get free marinara in Hazeltucky.
:'''Leni''': That's silly, it's right there. Come on.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gavin''': Welcome to Spaghetti on a Stick. How can I help you today?
:'''Miguel''': ''[sweating nervously]'' Uh, nice boats. Are those shoes fresh? Boy, that episode of ''The Dream Sauce,'' huh? ''[Gavin stares confusingly at him; rushes off embarrassingly, and bumps into a man in lederhosen, getting sauerkraut in his eyes]'' AHH! SAUERKRAUT IN MY EYE!
:'''Leni''': Don't worry, we are not giving up. ''[sniffs]'' And sauerkraut is actually a good scent on you.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gavin''': Hey, Miguel! Looking stylish as usual.
:'''Leni''': ''[through radio microphone]'' ''Thanks. What can you tell me about the rigatoni today?''
:'''Miguel''': Uh--uh, thanks. What can you tell me about the rigatoni today?
:'''Gavin''': Excellent question! The pasta is fresh from Sicily. Well, Sicily, Michigan, but still. So, can I put in an order from you?
:'''Scoots''': ''[interrupting]'' Quit daydreaming, blondie, and ring these up.
:'''Leni''': One moment, please.
:'''Miguel''': ''[in the exact same tone and posture]'' One moment, please.
:'''Gavin''': I get it, choosing the right pasta takes time.
:'''Miguel''': I'm gonna have to ask you to calm down and step back, please.
:'''Leni''': ''[being bothered at Scoots waving the pants in her face]'' I said, step back, please!
:'''Scoots''': And ''I'' said, I've waited long enough!
:'''Gavin''': Uh, Miguel? Is everything all right?
:'''Miguel''': ''[laughs nervously and runs off before slipping and falling into the fountain; Felix offers him a washcloth]'' Oh, thanks, Felix.
:'''Leni''': ''[while being chased by Scoots]'' SECURITY!
:'''Scoots''': ''[angrily chasing after her]'' Get back here, blondie!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Leni''': Gavin, what a surprise.
:'''Gavin''': Oh. Hey, Leni. Hey, Miguel.
:'''Leni''': Miguel, look, it's Gavin!
:'''Miguel''': ''[awkwardly snapping out of it]'' Grey! Sorry. I started to say &quot;greetings&quot;, but then I switched it to &quot;hey.&quot; Ugh!

==''Episode 15''==

===''Save the Last Pants (15.1)''===

===''A Stella Performance (15.2)''===

==''Episode 16''==

===''Hiccups and Downs (16.1)''===
:'''Leni''': Wow. I've never heard a guitar make that sound before.
:'''Lisa''': Negatory. It would appear Luna is having involuntary contractions of the diaphragm. Street name: hiccups, brought on by all of her excitement. They'll cease in no time.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Luna''': The Rumble's tonight, and there's no way I can sing like this! What am I gonna- ''[hiccups]'' -do?!
:'''Lisa''': ''[gasps]'' I know what would cure those: an anti-hiccup elixir. Yeah, if only someone would invent one.
:'''Luna''': ''[hiccups]'' Come on, sibs. One of you has to know how to get rid of my- ''[hiccups and falls to the floor, surrounded by the spilled food]'' Please, you've gotta help me!
:'''Luan''': Aw, Luna. You know we're ''&quot;hicc-up&quot;'' for it, but first things first… ''[grabs a fork; to her siblings]'' Everybody, hurry and eat while she's down!

===''The Loathe Boat (16.2)''===

==''Episode 17''==

===''Stroke of Luck (17.1)''===

===''My Cheer Lady (17.2)''===

==''Episode 18''==

===''Space Jammed (18.1)''===

===''Crown and Dirty (18.2)''===

==''Episode 19''==

===''The Orchid Grief (19.1)''===

===''Forks and Knives Out (19.2)''===

==''Episode 20''==

===''The Loud Cloud (20.1)''===

===''You Auto Know Better (20.2)''===

==''Halloween Burst! (Episode 21)''==

==''Episode 22''==

===''Pop Pop the Question (22.1)''===

===''Lynn and Order (22.2)''===

==''Episode 23''==

===''Snow Escape (23.1)''===

===''Snow News Day (23.2)''===

==''Episode 24''==

===''Day of the Dad (24.1)''===

===''Small Blunder (24.2)''===

==''Episode 25''==

===''Fashion No Show (25.1)''===

===''Doom Service (25.2)''===

==''Episode 26''==

===''The Hurt Lockers (26.1)''===

===''Love Stinks (26.2)''===</text>
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:'''Seasons:''' [[The Loud House/Season 1|1]] [[The Loud House/Season 2|2]] [[The Loud House/Season 3|3]] [[The Loud House/Season 4|4]] [[The Loud House/Season 5|5]] [[The Loud House/Season 6|6]] ([[The Loud House|Main]]) | '''[[The Casagrandes|Casagrandes]]''' (Seasons [[The Casagrandes/Season 1|1]] [[The Casagrandes/Season 2|2]] [[The Casagrandes/Season 3|3]])
----

'''''{{w|The Loud House}}''''' (2016–present) is an American [[w:animated television series|animated television series]] created by [[w:Chris Savino|Chris Savino]] for [[w:Nickelodeon|Nickelodeon]]. The series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of an accident-prone boy named Lincoln Loud, who survives as the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.

==''Episode 1''==

===''Present Danger (1.1)''===
:'''Gus''': Lincoln! Bravo, buddy, but you gotta get off the table.
:'''Customer''': You have ruined my wife's garlic knots!
:'''Lincoln''': Sorry! ''[gets off the table; to the viewers]'' Well, today's a really big day. It's my 12th birthday! Feels like I've been 11 forever, so this year, I'm doing it in style. David Steele-style. I asked all my friends to come to Gus's dressed as their favorite MALICE villains. You have Golden Toe, Blowfish, Odd Bob, and Patty Whack. So far, it's been great. One moment… Nothing but net. And now that we've finished playing Agents and MALICE, it's time for…
:'''Rita''': Presents!
:'''Lincoln''': Yes!
:'''Liam''': Wahoo!
:'''Zach''': Rusty, the invitation said only Lincoln was supposed to dress up as David Steele.
:'''Rusty''': Sorry, dude. It's not my fault I look amazing in a tuxedo. Besides, check out the Loud seniors.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Well, thanks for coming, everyone. Today is a special day for a special- ''[notices his dad crying]'' Dad, you know if you cry, I'm gonna- ''[he and Leonard both break down sobbing in each other's arms]''
:'''Rita''': Lincoln, I think what your dad was ''trying'' to say is that 12 is a Loud family landmark. He and Gramps have a special present for you. Your great-grandfather gave it to Gramps when he was 12, and Gramps gave it to ''your'' dad when ''he'' was 12.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Room for one more?
:'''Scoots''': Doesn't look like there's room for one more. Because of your dang party, I'm stuck with these two bozos at the loaner's table.
:'''Flip''': Hey, you ain't no picnic yourself there, lady! ''[eats the pizza]''
:'''Chandler''': What do you want there anyway, Lincoln Lame?
:'''Lincoln''': ''[takes a seat]'' Someone nabbed one of my birthday presents, and I think one of you is the culprit. ''[takes out a deck of cards]'' The game is Go Fish. If I win, you have to turn out your pockets.
:'''Chandler''': And what's in it for us?
:'''Lincoln''': If you win, you get to keep all my… ''[close-up on his face] Presents.'' So, are you feeling lucky?
:'''Chandler''': You're on!

===''Stressed for the Part (1.2)''===
:'''Luan''': ''[practicing her moos]'' Moo! Moo! ''[falsetto]'' Moooo!
:'''Mr. Coconuts''': Nah, toots. That's too Holstein. Go lower into your Jersey range.
:'''Luan''': Oh, Mr. Coconuts, I can't wait to tell Mrs. Bernardo I got the part!
:'''Mr. Coconuts''': She'll be over the moooon, toots!
:'''Luan''': Aww.
:''[Suddenly Mrs. Bernardo walks in with her makeup running]''

==''Episode 2''==

===''Don't Escar-go (2.1)''===
:'''Lincoln''': So, what's the occasion, Clyde?
:'''Zach''': Yeah, are you buttering us up for something?
:'''Clyde''': Ok, here goes. The reason I created this ''Célébration de'' Friendship Brunch is because, I've got some big news. It all started last night…
:''[Flashback to earlier, getting a phone call]''
:'''Howard''': Clyde, can you get that? And please be careful. That phone is older than our 1930's Dust Bowl glasses.
:'''Clyde''': ''[picks up the phone and answers]'' Hello?
:'''Nana Gayle''': ''[calling on the other end from Sunset Canyon]'' Clyde, it's Nana Gayle. Ooh, I've got big news. My best friend, Fleur DuPont, just came to town for a surprise visit. She happens to be the dean of one of the finest cooking academies in the world.
:'''Clyde''': I know that academy! It's nearly impossible to get in. They wouldn't even let the Queen of England in. Granted, I've heard her sponge cake is dry-
:'''Nana Gayle''': Clyde, get your buns over here! And bring your baked goods, too! If Fleur tries them, oh, she's sure to let you in.
:''[Clyde hangs up happily; back to the present]''
:'''Zach''': So, what happened?
:'''Clyde''': She loved everything I made! In fact, Dean DuPont said I just have to pass one last exam tonight. I have to cook her an entire dinner. If I nail it, I'll be into the academy!
:'''Stella''': Yeah!
:'''Lincoln''': Yeah!
:'''Rusty''': Yeah, alright! ''[Clyde starts sniffing]'' Clyde, what's wrong?
:'''Clyde''': ''[sniffs]'' There's only one drawback: The school's in… Paris.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[despaired]'' NOOOOOOOOO! ''[collapses]''
:'''Liam''': Aww, it's happening again. Clyde's leaving us, just like when Lincoln done went to Canada.
:'''Clyde''': Let's not lose our heads here. I'm not 1,000% sure I'm going yet. They might not even pick me.
:'''Rusty''': Your food is divine. Of course you'll get in.
:'''Clyde''': I'll miss you guys like crazy, but this is an incredible opportunity. Where else could I learn to cook ''sole meunière, concombre a la menthe, escargot--''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[brushes the imagination aside]'' Wait, Clyde. What if you could learn to cook all those things here in Royal Woods? I know someone who can teach you. Then we wouldn't lose you.
:'''Rusty''': Ooh, give it a try, Clyde. Please?
:'''Stella''': Yeah, we're your crew, table 10 at lunch, the Action News Team! We have to stick together.
:'''Clyde''': But who are you thinking could teach me?
:'''Lincoln''': I know just the guy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Royal Woods Middle School cafeteria; the gang talks to Chef Pat]''
:'''Stella''': Chef Pat, do you know anything about French cooking?
:'''Chef Pat''': Pfft, I know everything. I used to be the head chef on a 60-foot yacht off the French Riviera. Here. ''[takes a buckwheat galette out of her hair net]'' Try a nutty buckwheat galette.
:'''Zach''': Nutty. Smooth. So why do you cook sloppy joes all the time?
:'''Chef Pat''': 'Cause that's what you kids like. ''[walks into the kitchen]''
:'''Lincoln''': Chet Pat, you ''have'' to teach Clyde all about French cooking, or else he's moving to Paris. ''[slides on his knees; begging]'' Please!
:'''Chef Pat''': Hmm. That's a lot to ask, but I'll do it, on one condition. While I'm with Clyde, you guys gotta take care of my niece, Waffles. If she tries to bite you, give her waffles. They calm her down.

===''Double Trouble (2.2)''===
:''[The Loud twin sisters arrive at Auntie Pam's contest for all the twins of Royal Woods]''
:'''Lola''': First rule of any contest: Know your enemy, and you can never lose. Who's gonna be our biggest threat?
:'''Lana''': Mr. Grouse and Flip?
:'''Lola''': ''[screeches her jeep to a stop]'' Um, what are you two trying to pull? You're not even related!
:'''Mr. Grouse''': What? You don't see the resemblance? ''[he and Flip both tug their mustaches]''
:'''Flip''': Ooh, it's in the flavor savers. ''[they both walk away, chuckling]''
:'''Lola''': Ugh.
:'''Lana''': And what's Liam doing here?
:'''Liam''': ''[to his twin goats]'' Okay, fellers, eye of the tiger.
:'''Lola''': His twins aren't even human!
:'''Liam''': Huh? They got every right to be here.
:'''Scoots''': ''[honks and pulls up]'' Uh, anyone seen my twin sister Mopes? She looks just like me, except for she's on a moped. ''[drives off]''
:'''Lola''': No way Scoots has a twin! The universe would never be so cruel.
:'''Mopes''': ''[pulls up]'' Anyone seen my twin sister Scoots? She looks just like me, except for she's on a scooter. ''[drives off]''
:'''Lola''': Okay, Scoots' sister is obviously just her in a wig. This contest is going to be an ice cream cake walk.
:'''Lana''': Yeah, we're the only ''real'' twins here.
:'''Cheryl''': ''[showing up with Meryl]'' Stop the presses! 'Cause Cheryl…
:'''Meryl''': And Meryl…
:'''Both''': Have arrived!
:'''Cheryl''': Sorry for being tardy, y'all. We may have gotten sucked into an episode of our favorite soap opera, &quot;Southern Hospitality.&quot;
:'''Auntie Pam''': ''[blowing her whistle]'' Alrighty, who's ready to twin it up? Let's get this competition started!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Auntie Pam''': ''[sees Liam's twin goats fighting; blowing her whistle]'' Disqualified!
:'''Liam''': Disqualified? For what?
:'''Auntie Pam''': ''[pulls out a contract]'' Violation of Auntie Pam's Double Trouble Contract. I can't have my twins fighting. They need to be united.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[As the Double Trouble contest comes to an end at sunset…]''
:'''Auntie Pam''': Our two final teams are Cheryl and Meryl, and Lola and Lana. And now for the big moment. Our Double Trouble twins and winners of a lifetime supply of ice cream are…lo and behold, Cheryl and Meryl!
:''[Cheryl and Meryl gasp and squeal in delight over winning; The Loud twins sigh in disappointment and drive back home]''
:'''Lola''': It's not fair! That crown and ice cream should be ''ours!'' ''[gasps and screeches her jeep to a stop as she and Lana see Liam's twin goats fighting over his shirt]''
:'''Liam''': ''[bursts out of a bush, going after them]'' Hey, wait up, fellers!
:'''Lana''': At least we didn't get disqualified for fighting, right?
:'''Lola''': ''[gets an idea]'' Fight clause. Lana, maybe there's a way we can ''still'' win! Cheryl and Meryl just need to start bickering, and Auntie Pam will make ''us'' the Double Trouble twins!
:'''Lana''': But how do we know they'll fight?
:'''Lola''': 'Cause you and I are going to ''make'' them.
:''[Next day at elementary school; Lana is walking with Cheryl on their snack break]''
:'''Lana''': Thanks for the snack break, Cheryl.
:'''Cheryl''': My pleasure, sugar.
:'''Lana''': I've never heard a person talk as much as Cheryl. She said, like, a gazillion sentences, and they all started with &quot;sugar.&quot;
:'''Lola''': Does that mean you got the scoop on how to split up her and Meryl?
:'''Lana''': It won't be easy. Those two are ''tight.'' They eat ice cream together every night. They watch ''all'' the same TV shows, like &quot;Southern Hospitality.&quot; They even double-date with their boyfriends.
:'''Lola''': ''[thinking]'' Hmm, I can work with all that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Cheryl''': ''[screams as she slips in the melted ice cream and falls on her back; angrily]'' Meryl, did you spill the ice cream?! Now we got a dairy river the size of the Mississippi on our floor!
:'''Meryl''': ''[miffed]'' Don't blame me, I didn't do it!
:''[They growl angrily at each other]''
:'''Cheryl''': Well, no use cryin' over spilled ice cream. We got plenty more in the backup freezer.
:'''Lola''': ''[disappointed]'' Ugh!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Meryl''': ''[answers the telephone]'' Yello, Che-Meryl residence. You got Meryl.
:'''Lola''': ''[impersonating Cheryl]'' Hey, sugar, it's me, your sister.
:'''Meryl''': Hey, sugar.
:'''Lola''': I'm in a bit of a pickle here at school. Huggins has a bee in his office. Actually, a ''lot'' of bees.
:'''Lana''': ''[hold a jar of bees]'' Come home safe, my babies. ''[takes the jar lid off, releasing the bees]''
:'''Lola''': I'm fixing to be here awhile. You should go ahead and watch the season finale of &quot;Southern Hospitality&quot; without me.
:'''Meryl''': What? Well, that don't sound like you at all! You serious about this?
:'''Lola''': As serious as a hoedown.
:'''Meryl''': Ooh, that is serious. And I am chompin' at the bit to find out this pie thief. Ooh, okay. I'll watch.
:''[The Loud twins high five as they hear Cheryl and Principal Huggins running away from the bees]''
:'''Cheryl''': ''[screaming]'' Run, Huggins! They think my beehive is ''their'' beehive!
:''[Cheryl and Meryl's apartment, evening; Meryl is watching the season finale, sobbing while blowing her nose]''
:'''Cheryl''': ''[enters the apartment, covered in bee stings]'' Ooh, boy, did I have a dickens of a day. ''[realizes]'' And are you watching the &quot;Southern Hospitality&quot; finale without me?
:'''Meryl''': Uh, you called and told me to.
:'''Cheryl''': That is a backhoe of lies! I think I would remember something like that!
:'''Meryl''': You calling me a fibber?!
:'''Cheryl''': If the kitten heel fits!
:'''Meryl''': How dare you?!
:'''Cheryl''': Hmph! ''[turns around]''
:'''Meryl''': Oh, and BTDubs, Wayland is the pie thief! ''[blows her nose as her sister gasps in horror at the spoilers, and they both go their separate ways]''
:''[The Loud twins smirk at each other while watching]''
:''[Next day at Auntie Pam's parlor; Cheryl and Meryl are still angry with each other during the unveiling of the Double Trouble sundae]''
:'''Auntie Pam''': Welcome all to the debut of our Double Trouble sundae. Exciting, isn't it, Double Trouble twins? ''[takes out the ceremonial scissors]'' Who wants to cut the ribbon?
:'''Meryl''': ''[takes the scissors]'' ''I'll'' do it.
:'''Cheryl''': I'm surprised you haven't already done it without me, you low-down pie thief spoiler!
:'''Meryl''': ''[spitefully cuts her sister's hair with the scissors as the crowd gasps]'' Oops.
:'''Auntie Pam''': ''[gasps]'' Ok, ladies, settle down.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lana''': The sign-up line for our Unlimited Double Trouble ice cream party starts here!
:'''Lola''': And remember, it's VIPs only.
:'''Cheryl''': ''[over P.A.; upset]'' Morning… ''[sobbing]'' Roosters. Today's lunch will be two identical twin fish sticks! Sorry, Principal Huggins, it's just that Meryl is ''gone!'' ''[sobbing hysterically; the Loud twins rush over investigating as Principal Huggins comforts her]'' After our tussle at Auntie Pam's parlor, we was both madder than wet hens, so this morning, Meryl packed up her stuff and left for the bus station! ''[Lola and Lana look even more guilty for what they have both done as she continues sobbing]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Meryl''': What is ''she'' doing here?
:'''Lola''': Look, Meryl, if you want to be mad someone, be mad at us.
:'''Lana''': Yeah, we wanted ice cream so bad, we tricked you two into fighting.
:''[Cheryl and Meryl gasp upon hearing this]''
:'''Lola''': It was stupid, and we feel so terrible. If anyone knows how much twins need each other, it's us.
:'''Lana''': Yeah, you can't leave, Meryl. Twins gotta stick together.
:'''Meryl''': ''[looks down at her twin, smiles back]'' Well, I guess I could stay. After all, you ''are'' the soft serve to my waffle cone.
:'''Cheryl''': ''[squeals and hops into her twin's arms]'' We gotta celebrate our reunion!
:''[Auntie Pam's; the two pair of twins are all enjoying their ice cream]''
:'''Lola''': You know, you should throw more twin soirees.
:'''Scoots''': ''[drives in]'' I heard about the twin party. Guess our invite got lost in the mail.
:'''Lola''': Spare us, Scoots. We know your &quot;sister,&quot; Mopes, isn't real.
:'''Mopes''': ''[showing up in the flesh]'' What are you lookie-loos staring at?
:'''Scoots''': You never seen twins before?

==''Episode 3''==

===''Flip This Flip (3.1)''===
:'''Lincoln''': Um, what's going on?
:''[Nacho chitters while pointing at the label of Gobblesworth Farm, swooning over it, and makes smooching noises]''
:'''Lana''': OK, from what I understand- my raccoon's a little rusty- the lady on the framed turkey label is Flip's old middle school crush, um… Tommy Hogglesfort?
:'''Flip''': Tammy Gobblesworth! ''[sighs]'' My one true love. I always thought she and I would eat food off of other people's plates together forever. ''[flashback to the middle school Christmas dance]'' But then I got locked out of the school dance and missed my one shot to impress her! ''[collapses after the flashback fades back to the present]''
:''[Nacho chitters more while pointing at the label and pantomime acts like a chicken]''
:'''Lana''': ''[translating]'' Ever since Flip found the label, he's been attempting to call and ask her to dinner, but he keeps chickening out.
:'''Flip''': ''[popping up]'' Hey, chickening out is a bit harsh.
:'''Lincoln''': Flip, you can totally do this. There's nothing to be afraid of.
:'''Lana''': Yeah. You're Flip Phillipini. You're a legend!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Welcome to Flip This Flip, where we take people that are complete disasters and make them shiny and new. Let's meet our panel of experts.
:'''Lana''': Lana: Hygiene.
:'''Leni''': Leni: Fashion.
:'''Lola''': Lola: Etiquette.
:'''Lisa''': Lisa: Interesting Conversation.
:'''Lincoln''': Lincoln: Transportation. What? You guys took all the good categories.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Flip''': You did your best, Loudsters. I blew it with Tammy.
:'''Lana''': ''[gasps]'' Blew it. Yes! ''[inhales and blows the French horn, sending Flip flying in the air with his outfit coming off, and slides on the floor in front of Tammy]''
:'''Tammy''': Oh, Phillip, are you okay? And where are your pants?
:'''Flip''': I gotta level with you, Tammy. Uh, I'm not a fancy tuxedo-wearing guy who oozes sophistication. The only thing I ooze is nacho cheese. Seriously, my sweat's orange. I was only trying to impress you 'cause you're so classy and glamorous. I'm not classy, I'm just gassy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': ''[to the viewers while peddling]'' Next time, I'm hiring a limo.

===''Haunted House Call (3.2)''===
:'''Lucy''': Okay, salespeople, normies love cheerfulness. Let's see those smiles. ''[The other Morticians make weird creepy smiles on their faces]'' Forget the smiles. ''[rings the doorbell as Mr. Grouse answers the door]'' Gloomy morning, Mr. Grouse. Would you be interested in buying some homemade eyeball pops?
:'''Persephone''': We're raising money to attend Casket Con this weekend.
:'''Morpheus''': They'll be unveiling the new Model C casket from Caskets R Us. It hovers, thereby totally removing the need for polders.
:'''Boris''': We're running a special. Four eyeball pops for the price of three.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': Not now, creepy Loud and you creepy friends. I've got my own problem. I can't catch my couch to take a nap!
:''[Inside the house, his furniture is floating]''
:'''Dante''': Oh, yeah. That's a ghost problem.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': What was your first clue? When my loveseat walked itself into the kitchen?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lucy''': Good morrow. Are you haunted by a specter?
:'''Morticians''': ♪ If a ghost is haunting you / And you have no clue what to do ♪
:'''Dante''': ''[dressed in a bedsheet while hanging]'' ♪ Don't just stand and scream ♪ ''[bumps into the camera]''
:'''Morticians''': ♪ Call the number on your screen ♪
:'''Lucy''': And now, we wait for customers.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Rodney''': It's destroying my clothing and spilling my most expensive cologne: Night Sweat! You have to help me!
:'''Lucy''': Ghost, reveal yourself. ''[A ghost dude, wearing a tuxedo T-shirt reveals himself]'' Spirit, what is your unfinished business here?
:'''Dude Ghost''': I was supposed to be buried in a real tux, but this joker put me in a tuxedo T-shirt! I want a refund!
:'''Rodney''': No refunds! Besides, your order form just said tuxedo, so I went with our casual package.
:'''Dude Ghost''': I can't cross over in this! I'll be laughed out of the afterlife!
:'''Rodney''': Hmph!
:'''Haiku''': What about an exchange?
:''[Later, Rodney has dressed the ghost dude in a genuine tuxedo]''
:'''Dude Ghost''': Now this is what I'm talking about.
:'''Rodney''': And here's your complementary bottle of Night Sweat!
:'''Dude Ghost''': ''[flinches in disgust]'' Yeah, I'm good.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Liam''': ''[as donkey Dolly's ghostly spirit reveals herself; gasps]'' It's Mee-Maw's prized donkey, Dolly.
:'''Persephone''': Do you know why Dolly is haunting you?
:'''Liam''': I do. I once broke our fence mud-wrestling with Virginia. And then, blamed it on Dolly. ''[Dolly brays angrily]'' I know. Ain't a moment I'm too proud of. Dolly, I'm gonna make this right. ''[walks into his house; off-screen]'' Brace yourself, Mee-Maw. You're about to be madder than a wet peacock.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Cheryl and Meryl's apartment; The TV is changing the channel back and forth from &quot;Southern Hospitality&quot; to &quot;Hipster Island&quot;]''
:'''Cheryl''': Somethin' keeps changing our channel. And we're missing the season finale of &quot;Southern Hospitality!&quot;
:'''Lucy''': This is ''definitely'' the work of a ghost. Spirit, show yourself.
:''[The ghostly spirit of a hipster appears, sitting next to the twins as they gasp]''
:'''Hipster Ghost''': This used to be my pad, brahs. And I need to find out who rid &quot;Hipster Island.&quot;
:'''Cheryl''': I use bra pads, too. But we gotta see if Sue Ellen chooses Brad or his evil twin, Chad.
:'''Lucy''': You could ''always'' record &quot;Southern Hospitality&quot;, and watch it later.
:'''Cheryl''': Well, we'll have to delete some of our crime shows, but, it's a deal. Make yourself comfy, I'll be right back with three bowls of ice cream.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lucy''': Nice doing business with you. Let's get you back to the portal and--
:'''Buzz''': Change of plans: Turns out, haunting people is the bee's knees.
:'''Persephone''': But what about the afterlife?
:'''Buzz''': Overrating. Later! ''[flies away]''
:'''Persephone''': Buzz is going to terrorize all of Royal Woods if we don't stop him.
:'''Haiku''': But Casket Con's only open for another hour. We're going to miss the unveiling of the Model C.
:'''Lucy''': Sigh. We created this mess, so we need to clean it up.

==''Save Royal Woods! (Episode 4)''==
:'''Lincoln''': ''[speaks to the crowd in the microphone, through Todd's megaphones]'' Hey, everyone. If I could have your attention. ''[the crowd catches their attention]'' Maybe Royal Woods ''is'' forgettable, but it doesn't have to stay that way. We could have something like those other towns, something to put us on the map.
:'''Clyde''': Then Joyce wouldn't flood our town. Lincoln, that's brilliant! But what could we create that would make Royal Woods seem memorable?
:'''Lincoln''': I bet if we put our heads together, we can come up with something amazing. So who's ready to save our town?
:''[The crowd cheers in agreement; Next day, Mayor Davis gives Lincoln a button reading '''&quot;Honorary Jr. Mayor&quot;''']''
:'''Lincoln''': Whoa. &quot;Honorary Jr. Mayor?&quot; Thanks, Mayor Davis.
:'''Mayor Davis''': It's the least I can do since you're helping to save the town.
:'''Lincoln''': So do I get to play your keyboard?
:'''Mayor Davis''': ''[plays buzzing sound on her keyboard, sternly]'' Don't push it, kid. ''[cheerfully]'' OK, time to hear ideas to save Royal Woods.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Undersecretary Crandall, thanks for coming.
:'''Joyce''': I hope this is good. I had to leave a meeting to pick the fish to stock Lake Gladys with. Spoiler alert: We are definitely leaning toward carp.
:'''Mayor Davis''': Actually, we think you might just change your mind about flooding your town.
:'''Joyce''': I'm sorry, but like I told you before, there is nothing that can cha-- ''[notices the giant Flippee; shocked]'' That's-that's…
:'''Albert''': The world's largest Flippee! HA! What do you think about them apples, huh? To be clear, it's not apple. It's actually sparkle berry cherry.
:'''Joyce''': Well, it is as big as the frying pan and less dangerous than the piranhas. Ugh, I guess there's no way we can put a lake here now. The flooding is off.
:''[All the citizens cheers when the giant Flippee suddenly starts shaking]''
:'''Citizens''': What's happening?!
:'''Lincoln''': Flip, what's going on?!
:'''Flip''': ''[sheepishly nervous]'' Uh, hey, Flippee syrup ain't cheap. I figured no one would drink it.
:'''Lola''': ''[seizes Flip by the collar, angrily]'' What did you do, old man?!
:'''Flip''': I may have swapped the syrup with some expired gasoline that wasn't selling. Is that really so bad?
:'''Lisa''': Short answer, yes. The gasoline is adversely reacting with my hyper-freeze additive, causing an accelerated release of energy, resulting in expanded volume.
:'''Todd''': '''In layman's terms, it's gonna blow.'''
:''[The giant Flippee explodes and covers everyone]''
:'''Joyce''': ''[fuming with rage]'' I will be back tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. with the demolition team! Royal Woods is history. ''[the giant Flippee tips over off the gas station, and destroys her car]'' YOU CRUSHED MY CAR! ''[screams as she notices something else]'' Donna! ''[angrily to the citizens]'' Make that 9:00 a.m.! ''GOODBYE, ROYAL WOODS!'' ''[storms off with fury]''
:''[End of Act 1; Beginning Act 2]''
:'''Flip''': ''[breaks down, sobbing]'' I'm sorry, everyone. The world's largest Flippee flopped! ''[Nacho chitters accusatively at him]'' Of course I regret using expired gas, Nacho! How can you ask me that?!
:'''Lincoln''': Wait! Everyone! I have a new idea that might save our town! Where's Todd?
:'''Todd''': '''I believe you, Lincoln.''' ''[starts chanting]'' '''Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln, Linc-''' ''[realizes everyone staring in confusion]'' '''Oh. We're not doing that?''' ''[deploys his PA system]''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[through microphone]'' Undersecretary Crandall said Royal Woods is history.
:'''Flip''': Why would you remind us of that?!
:'''Lincoln''': What if Royal Woods did have some kind of important history? Then she couldn't flood us.
:'''Lisa''': Elder brother, might I remind you that Royal Woods has no interesting history? We were named after an oak tree. ''[points to an old oak tree commemorated with a plaque as a branch falls off]'' That one.
:'''Lincoln''': I know, but Undersecretary Crandall doesn't. Royal Woods has the word &quot;royal&quot; in it. Maybe there's something there. I know we'd be making up a big lie, but it's the only way to save our town.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Joyce''': ''[notices something off]'' Huh? What's this?
:'''Lincoln''': No, actually, we need that back. It's on loan from the, uh, Royal Woods Museum.
:'''Joyce''': Not so fast, kid. Hmm… ''[reading on the crown]'' '''&quot;Lola Loud, Little Miss Crowning Achievement?&quot;''' ''[gasps]'' You all made this whole thing up! King George never came through here!
:'''Lola''': ''[chuckles sheepishly as she takes her crown back]'' I'll take that.
:'''Joyce''': ''[groans angrily; on walkie-talkie]'' Bring that wrecking ball! We've got a sixth Great Lake to make.
:'''Luan''': I guess it's time to say goodbye to Royal Woods.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Joyce''': ''[hopping out of the roller]'' That was a beautiful song, but I'm still going to bust this dam and flood you.
:'''Lincoln''': What?!
:'''Demolition Worker #1''': Well, we're not! That kid with the white hair is right! This town ''is'' special, and so is my town!
:'''Demolition Worker #2''': And so is mine. No town deserves to be flooded by you. Get your promotion some other way, Crandall. We don't want a sixth lake.
:'''Joyce''': ''[groans in annoyance]'' You bunch of babies! Ugh! ''[heads back into the roller]'' Come on, Donna, we'll do it ourselves.
:'''Lola''': I don't know. Might not be the best look to flood a precious small town on live television.
:'''Katherine''': This is Katherine Mulligan, covering the destruction of my town in HD-
:'''Joyce''': ''[yanks Katherine away from the camera; chuckles nervously]'' I mean, I would never flood this beautiful town. ''[waves]'' Hi, Mom, happy birthday!
:'''Todd''': ''[offering her a phone]'' '''Call for you.'''
:'''Oversecretary''': ''[on phone]'' ''Joyce, this is the Oversecretary. I saw everything. Bulldozing a perfectly good town on live TV? '''YOU'RE FIRED!'''
:''[Joyce screams in despair after being fired from her job]''
:'''Todd''': ''[pats Joyce on the back, comforting her]'' '''There, there.'''
:'''Joyce''': Don't touch me.
:'''Lincoln''': We did it! Royal Woods is saved!
:''[Everyone cheers]''
:'''Lynn''': You did it, Stinkin'!
:'''Leni''': OMGosh, Lincoln, you're a hero.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': Yeah, thanks, Loud. Way to go.
:'''Lincoln''': I'm just glad we can all stay. 'Cause…
:'''Citizens''': ''[singing again]'' ♪ We're right, we're right, we're right where we belong (Ba-ba-da-) ♪
:'''Joyce''': ''[angrily interrupting]'' PUT A CORK IN IT! ''[groans]'' WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE AND YOUR IMPROMPTU SINGING?! ''[growling as she leaves]''
:'''Citizens''': ''[finishing up]'' ♪ We're right where we belong! ♪

==''Episode 5''==

===''The Taunting Hour (5.1)''===
:'''Rita''': ''[worried]'' I've never seen Lynn freeze up like that. I hope she doesn't take it too hard.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Evening at the Loud House; The criticized Louds burst through the front door, and begin berating Lincoln]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Oh, he is in for it!
:'''Lola''': There he is!
:''[Lincoln screams as the couch tips over and himself]''
:'''Luna''': Why'd you have to tell us about our haters, dude?!
:'''Lisa''': Now we're ''all'' freezing up!
:'''Lincoln''': Look, I'm sorry I told you guys about your critics. I was just only trying to help Lynn.
:'''Lynn''': ''[irately punches a hole in the door]'' STINKOLN!
:'''Lincoln''': ''[nervously]'' I hope that's a happy &quot;Stinkoln&quot;.
:'''Lynn''': Your dumb &quot;cure&quot; ''DIDN'T'' cure me! Scoots heckled me some more and now I've got emu legs again! Wasn't even at a game. It was at the mall food court!
:'''Lincoln''': Lynn, why are you paying attention to Scoots? Why are ''any'' of you paying attention to those people? It doesn't matter what they say.
:'''Mr. Coconuts''': It's easy for you to say! You don't have to deal with it!
:'''Lola''': You just go around ruining lives!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lynn''': Dude, that Chandler's a real jerk.
:'''Lincoln''': Yeah, he is. ''[jumps off the sofa]'' But he doesn't bother me, and that's the whole point. I mean, at first he really got to me, but the more I ignored him, the easier it got. Plus, why should I care what he has to say? I'm doing what I love, and that's all that matters.
:'''Rita''': And if you can handle Chandler, I think we can handle our critics. Right, everyone?
:'''Luna''': Totally.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Yeah, I guess so.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': Hey, Loud!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[covers his ears with his fingers]'' Ah, I can't hear you, Grouse!
:'''Mr. Grouse''': I was just going to tell you-
:'''Lynn Sr.''': I'm blocking out the haters! ''[starts singing]'' ♪ La la la la- ♪
:'''Mr. Grouse''': You forgot to put on the parking brake again.
:''[Lynn Sr.'s eyes widen in horror; Outside, Vanzilla starts rolling backwards]''
:'''Kids''': Dad, Vanzilla!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[chases after his van and screams]'' BABY, PLEASE COME BACK! I'M SO SORRY!!!

===''Musical Chairs (5.2)''===
:''[Lincoln feels dejected after getting to change to another seat in Mr. Bolhofner's class at lunchtime]''
:'''Clyde''': What's wrong, Lincoln? You've barely touched the cheesecake bites I made you. Is the cheese-to-cake ratio not to your liking?
:'''Lincoln''': No, Clyde. The ratio is perfect, per usual. It's just, I don't know what to do. Bolhofner won't change my seat.
:'''Rusty''': Three words, bro: &quot;Butter him up.&quot;
:'''Liam''': Oh, he ain't wrong. ''[grabs a stick of butter]'' One time Virginia, she got her head stuck in a fence and we used a whole mess of margarine to get her out. The key is to rub it around the jowls like so. ''[rubs the butter on his cheeks]''
:'''Clyde''': ''[disgusted]'' Ugh.
:'''Rusty''': I meant he's gotta charm the man.
:'''Liam''': ''[chuckles]'' I knew that. Just testing y'all. ''[eats the butter]''
:'''Rusty''': A while back, I wanted to go skydiving with my cousin, Derek, but my dad wouldn't let me, so I spent the whole week doing nice things for him. And bam, check it! ''[plays a video of him skydiving with his cousin while screaming]''
:'''Lincoln''': Hmm. Maybe I should try buttering up the Hof.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The next day at Mr. Bolhofner's trailer; Mr. Bolhofner is grading papers]''
:'''Mr. Bolhofner''': Nope.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[enters]'' So, Mr. B, how was the band practice? That I set up, which I was glad to do, by the way?
:'''Mr. Bolhofner''': ''[chuckles]'' Yeah, right. Ugh.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[sighs]'' I guess I'll take my seat, then.
:''[Chandler has set up a bucket of hot sauce above Lincoln's seat, laughing evilly]''
:'''Mr. Bolhofner''': That's not your seat, Loud! You sit ''there'' now.
:''[He points to Lincoln's new seat, which has a bright light upon it]''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[smugly]'' Bye-bye, Chandler. ''[leaves to his new seat]''
:''[Chandler growls as he dumps the hot sauce on the seat, destroying it in the process]''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[relaxes in his new seat, and is elated to find it can recline at the push of a button]'' Whoa.
:'''Student''': Chocolate? ''[offers a box of chocolates]'' I always have extras.
:'''Lincoln''': Wow, thank you! ''[takes them]''
:'''Student''': Oh, and if you ever get tense, I keep a massager under my desk! Feel free to use it!
:'''Lincoln''': Really? I wouldn't want to impose- ''[the student puts the massager on his neck]'' Oh, yeah. ''[the bell rings; the student reaches for the massager]'' Leave it.

==''Episode 6''==

===''A Bug's Strife (6.1)''===
:''[The Louds are walking out of the house and into Vanzilla]''
:'''Rita''': Oh! Double check, make sure I have my key. Mm. ''[her husband comes out, looking quite sick]'' Honey, you shouldn't be out here. Go back inside and get to bed.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': I just wanted to see you guys off. I'll miss you while you're at Aunt Ruth's today. It's a ding-dang shame I'm going to miss the slideshow of her bus tour of &quot;the Malls of the Midwest.&quot; ''[sneezes]''
:'''Rita''': Aw. Gesundheit. It's okay. Aunt Ruth will totally understand.
:'''Lola''': ''[walking out of the house; annoyed]'' It's not fair. Why does Daddy get to stay home? ''[Lynn Sr. sneezes again; disgusted]'' Ugh, question answered.
:'''Rita''': Get lots of rest. We'll see you tonight. ''[walks into Vanzilla and starts backing up]''
:'''Leni''': Bye, Dad!
:'''Lynn''': Feel better, Pops.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Aunt Ruth's house; In the living room, she is showing the Louds her Malls of the Midwest slideshow; Leni is the only one interested in watching]''
:'''Aunt Ruth''': And here's a bathroom stall from a mall in Indianapolis. This one had auto-flushing like the ones at a fancy steakhouse.
:'''Lynn''': ''[bored out of her mind]'' Dad's so lucky to be home sleeping. Ugh.
:'''Aunt Ruth''': Shh! Lynn, you're gonna miss the massage chairs at the mall at Walnut Grove!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Lynn Sr. rushes over to Mr. Grouse's house and knocks on the door]''
:'''Mr. Grouse''': No one's home! Go away!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Mr. Grouse, I need your help!
:'''Mr. Grouse''': ''[opens the door]'' Oh, lookie, it's a Loud. Shocker. What do you want, and how fast can I get rid of you?
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Remember the spare key I gave you for emergencies? Well, this is an emergency.
:'''Mr. Grouse''': Oh, yeah, sure. I keep it in a bowl right here. ''[shows a bowl that's filled with countless keys]'' Yeah, this might take a minute.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Rita''': Oh, honey, you must've been so delirious you trashed the house! I had no idea you were ''this'' sick. You need to get to bed immediately. ''[the porch suddenly collapses, sending both her and her husband to the ground]'' But not here. Kids, come on. We have to go.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Ah! Move to Canada. Smart. Chirpy won't find us there. ''[chuckles]''
:'''Rita''': No. We'll stay with Aunt Ruth until the house is repaired. She'll be happy to help nurse you back to health. I should warn you, though, she'll ''want'' to show you her Malls of the Midwest slideshow.

===''All the Rage (6.2)''===
:'''Zach''': You mad 'cause your favorite contestant cheated?
:'''Clyde''': Zamir didn't cheat! He would ''never'' cheat!
:'''Lincoln''': Maybe you can root for a different contestant. What about Maneet?
:'''Clyde''': Maneet's cream puffs… ''[his eyes glow red, muscles bulge, and clenches his fist in fury]'' '''''ARE DRY!''''' ''[begins throwing dodgeballs in rage]''
:'''Stella''': Guys, I think we just won.

==''Episode 7''==

===''Scoop Snoop (7.1)''===
:''[Royal Woods Middle School; Liam is recording the footage of Stella reporting of an owner with their pet]''
:'''Stella''': This is Stella Zhau reporting. ''[suspiciously]'' Someone's been letting their pet go potty here on the school field and not cleaning it up. Well, the Action News Team are here to reveal the &quot;poop-etrator.&quot; ''[gasps and looks ahead to see a &quot;dog&quot; with their owner both wearing identical disguises]'' Here they come now! Kangaroos, time to bust some scum!
:''[As Liam and Stella run over to the owner and their &quot;dog&quot;, they are outsped by Katherine Mulligan and her cameraman]''
:'''Liam''': What?!
:'''Katherine''': This is a Katherine Mulligan news exclusive. I'm unmasking the serial pet pooper. ''[takes the hat off the owner, revealing to be Vic]'' The owner is Vic. And the pet pooper is Gilly!
:'''Liam''': ''[confused]'' Jumpin' jackalopes. How in the world did she steal ''our'' story?
:''[Sunset Canyon Retirement Home; Zach is recording the footage of Rusty with an &quot;old lady&quot; at a table writing on a piece of paper in the background behind him]''
:'''Rusty''': The Action News Team has received a tip that somebody famous is hiding out here disguised as an old lady. Prepare to have your minds blown.
:'''Katherine''': ''[pops out from under the table]'' I'm Katherine Mulligan exposing this &quot;little old lady&quot; as… ''[pulls the wig/mask off, revealing…]'' Mick Swagger in disguise. He's holed up here as he writes songs for his new album, &quot;Mick or Treat.&quot;
:'''Zach''': ''[annoyed in anger]'' Hey, that was ''our'' scoop!
:'''Scoots''': ''[wheeling over and points to him]'' Nobody punks ''us,'' Brit boy! PUDDING HIM!
:''[The Action News Team are peddling their bikes to Gus' Games and Grub]''
:'''Lincoln''': This is the story of the century. 
:'''Stella''': It's cool of Gus to tip us off he's discontinuing spaghetti pizza.
:'''Clyde''': ''[sobbing]'' It's a dark day for the culinary world. ''[he and Lincoln bump into the back of Katherine's '''NEWS 3''' van and fall off]''
:'''Action News Team''': ''[gasp]'' Oh, no!
:'''Katherine''': This is the ''last'' bite of the last slice of the last spaghetti pizza Gus will ''ever'' serve. ''[eats the last bite-sized piece]'' I'm Katherine Mulligan reporting that you'll never know just how delicious that was.
:'''Stella''': ''[annoyed]'' I don't get it! How does Katherine Mulligan keep scooping us?!
:'''Rusty''': Someone has to be leaking to her. My cousin Derek's studying to be a plumber. He says; &quot;You have to find a leak and plug it, or it gets worse.&quot;
:'''Lincoln''': Rusty's right. If we don't do something, this could be the end of The Action News Team.
:'''Clyde''': Wait. Can we a moment of silence for… ''[sniffles sadly]'' spaghetti pizza?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Clyde''': We're never gonna find the leak at this rate. There are too many people at school to investigate.
:'''Rusty''': ''[eating a bowl of grapes]'' We shouldn't be following the rat, we should wait at the nest.
:'''Liam''': Then what in the manure pile does that even mean?
:'''Rusty''': Katherine ''is'' the nest, dawgs! If we follow her, the &quot;leaker&quot;, or &quot;rat&quot;, is gonna come to her.
:'''Lincoln''': Then we'll have our culprit! Rusty, that's a brilliant idea! Looks like it's time for an Action News Team undercover investigation!
:''[The Action News Team poses; Next morning, Lincoln, Clyde, and Stella are outside in front of Katherine's house, suspiciously watching her from the bushes as she eats a Danish that popped out from the toaster]''
:'''Lincoln''': 8:02. Katherine takes a bite of Danish.
:'''Stella''': Roger that.
:'''Rusty''': ''[popping out]'' 'Sup, dudes?
:'''Stella''': Rusty, you're late! ''[sniffs with disgust]'' Ugh, what's that awful smell?
:'''Rusty''': I was helping my dad pick a cologne to wow his gal pal. He lands it on Undersea Daydream.
:''[Lincoln, Clyde and Stella gag over the scent and gasp as Katherine exits her house and hide behind the bushes; Katherine gets into her car and drives off - humming a tune]''
:'''Lincoln''': Suspect's on the move. Let's go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Katherine and her cameraman are eating lunch at the Burpin' Burger; Liam and Rusty hide in the trash can as Liam pops his hand out out of the lid with his phone, recording the footage]''
:'''Liam''': Rusty, ya got your knee square in my gizzard.
:'''Rusty''': Then stop moving around, dawg!
:'''Liam''': Shh.
:'''Rusty''': ''[as Katherine and her cameraman empty their trays into the trash can]'' Augh! Horseradish in the eye! Ugh.
:'''Katherine''': Katherine Mulligan wants to know, did this garbage can just talk? ''[shrugs and walks off out of sight as soon as Rusty and Liam tip over, exhausted]''
:''[Royal Woods Bowling Alley; Katherine and Patchy Drizzle are bowling against each other as Patchy knocks down the 10 pins]''
:'''Patchy''': Yahoo! Today's forecast: a 100% chance of winning for Patchy Drizzle!
:'''Katherine''': I'm getting some developing news. It ain't over till the last frame. ''[interrupted by Lincoln and Clyde, disguised as their grandmothers as she's about to bowl]''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[imitating Myrtle]'' Don't mind us, sweetie. We're just a couple of senior ladies bowling.
:''[Zach, in his bush disguise, takes out his phone to record the footage, but wobbles and collides with them, rolling them across the alley and knocking down the 10 pins]''
:'''Katherine''': Katherine Mulligan wants to know, did that bush just bowl a strike?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Okay, so Stella made a notebook of some &quot;hot news leads&quot;, but they're all fake. We &quot;accidentally&quot; dropped it here by Principal Ramirez's car. As the &quot;rat,&quot; she &quot;finds it&quot; and takes it to &quot;the nest.&quot; Any questions? 
:'''Clyde''': Can you go over that one more time? I got lost in all the air quotes. 
:'''Lincoln''': I'll explain as we hide.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[A week later, back at Tall Timbers Park, Principal Ramirez meets up with Katherine again]''
:'''Katherine''': Oh. Principal Ramirez. Glad you could make it.
:''[The Action News Team peep from a bush]''
:'''Lincoln''': Gotcha. Principal Ramirez! ''[running towards the two women along with the rest of his team]'' Action News Team!
:'''Katherine''': Excuse me.
:'''Lincoln''': Principal Ramirez, how much has Katherine Mulligan been paying you to steal our news stories?
:'''Principal Ramirez''': I don't know what you're talking about.
:'''Clyde''': ''[holds up his mic in front of her, making her trip into the lake]'' ''We're'' asking the questions here!
:'''Rusty''': The jig is up, Katherine &quot;Shady Shader&quot; Mulligan! The book Principal Ramirez was going to give you is a bunch of phony news leads ''we'' planted. Bam! ''[looks closely at the title on the book cover]'' &quot;Passion under the Pompeii Moon?&quot; Uh-oh.
:'''Principal Ramirez''': ''[angrily snatches the book from Rusty]'' You bet you're &quot;uh-oh.&quot; Ms. Mulligan and I are in a book club together. Now someone get me out of here.
:'''Katherine''': That's the story. We've been meeting to swap novels we're reading.
:'''Stella''': So you weren't leaking our stories?
:'''Principal Ramirez''': ''[brushing the lake water off her skirt]'' Of course not! Is this what you spend your time on, making false accusations?! I have half a mind to shut down the Action News Team.
:'''Stella''': Please, don't.
:'''Rusty''': No, dawg!
:'''Lincoln''': We're sorry.
:'''Liam''': Give us another chance.
:'''Katherine''': I'm Katherine Mulligan and…I agree with these children. Sure they got the story wrong, but they got real drive. It reminds me of me when I was thriving out. I say they deserve a second chance.
:'''Principal Ramirez''': ''[over her mind; annoyed]'' Fine. ''[gets out of the lake as the Action News Team high five in celebration]'' But no more wild goose chases, or knocking principals in lakes.
:'''Zach''': Promise.
:'''Lincoln''': We swear.
:'''Rusty''': It was Zach.

===''Eye Can't (7.2)''===
:'''Lisa''': ''[entering the kitchen]'' Good morn… ''[bumps into Charles]'' When did we put the trash can here?
:'''Rita''': Honey, that's Charles.
:'''Lisa''': Ah, yes, of course. Hmm. Ah! ''Here's'' the orange juice I was looking for. ''[mistakes the flower vase and takes it off the table]''
:'''Rita''': Have you noticed Lisa's been acting a little off this week?
:''[Flashback to Lisa bumping into the end table, and another of her bumping into the stair railing]''
:'''Lisa''': Pardon me, father. ''[cut to her petting a skunk, mistaking it for Cliff]'' Good boy, Cliff. Good boy.
:'''Leni''': ''[frightened]'' Uh, Lisa? That's ''not'' Cliff.
:''[Flashback ends as the skunk sprays on the siblings, screaming off-screen]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Yeah. She needs new glasses.
:'''Lisa''': ''[returns to the kitchen, soaked in water]'' Ah, silly me, I mistook a vase of flowers for orange juice. Ah! ''Here's'' the actual orange juice.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': That's hot coffee! Sweetie, look, Mom and I think it's time for you to go to the eye doctor. 
:'''Lisa''': What? Poppycock! Now if you'll excuse me, I shall be in the living room.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Todd''': ''[while removing the cactus thorns]'' '''What is the problem? It's just the eye doctor.'''
:'''Lisa''': The problem, Todd, is that I have an irrational phobia of the ophthalmologist.
:'''Todd''': '''But that does not compute. You are a genius.'''
:'''Lisa''': I said it was irrational, Todd. And I've tried to train myself to move-past it, but, I can't!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': ''[falls down the stairs and lands flat on her face in front of her parents]'' Problem solved, parents. I've forged myself a new pair of glasses, and all is well. ''[opens her eyes - still abnormal through her glasses]'' 
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Counterpoint, you ''did'' kinda just fall down the stairs.
:'''Lisa''': Eh. You say tomato, I say mildly near-sighted.
:'''Rita''': And I say tomorrow morning ''you'' are going to the eye doctor, and, maybe the pediatrician too to see if you have any damage from that fall.
:'''Lisa''': Fine.

==''Episode 8''==

===''Dine and Bash (8.1)''===
:''[Vanzilla pulls up at Lynn's table and the siblings get out and walk in]''
:'''Todd''': '''Have a good afternoon, sweeties. Don't forget to do your homework. I'll be checking.''' ''[drives away]''
:'''Lisa''': Note to self: Dial back Todd's maternal mode.
:''[As the Loud siblings enter, they're overwhelmed to see the place crowded in a rush]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Oh, good, you're here! Before you jump into homework, I need your help with the afternoon rush.
:'''Lincoln''': No problem. Guys, fan out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Oh, you kids are a big help, especially with Mom off visiting Lori for Mother-Daughter Golf Day. ''[the phone rings and answers it]'' Lynn's Table. Come in if you're able. You've got Lynn.
:'''Kotaro''': Lynn, I have some exciting news. The Doo-Dads just booked a big gig tonight at Sunset Canyon!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[gasps in excitement]'' No we &quot;Dadn't!&quot;
:'''Kotaro''': Yes we &quot;Dad!&quot; It's Bernie's third wedding! He's marrying his lady friend from Boca.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[realizes in disappointment]'' Ohh! Ding, dang, darnit! I have to work the dinner shift. I gave Grant the night off to play &quot;Orcs, Horks, Wizards, and Pork&quot; with his friends.
:'''Grant''': ''[enters the kitchen wearing a wizard costume]'' Many thanks, Spirit Wizard Loud! May your harvest be fruitful this moon! ''[leaves]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': You guys should just do the gig without this Doo-Dad.
:'''Kotaro''': But a band with just one cowbell is no band at all.
:'''Lincoln''': Hey, Dad, what if ''we'' took over the restaurant tonight?
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[touched]'' Aw, that's sweet of you guys, but a night alone's a big responsibility.
:'''Lola''': ''[chuckles]'' We know this place like the back of our flawless hands. Ew! Time for a mani.

===''Sofa, So Good (8.2)''===
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Oh, kids! We have a surprise!
:''[The siblings rush into the living room]''
:'''Lola''': You were saying about a surprise for me?
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[facing the opposite direction]'' Your mother and I have been talking… ''[Rita turns him back the right way]'' Oh, hey everybody. And since it's been seven days since we had any house or life-threatening disasters…
:'''Rita''': We thought you all deserve a big surprise.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[leaves]'' Just keep that streak going a little bit longer.
:'''Rita''': And we'll be back with the surprise by 4:00! ''[leaves and closes the door]''
:'''Lincoln''': I bet it's an indoor pool.
:'''Lucy''': I bet it's a family burial plot.
:'''Lana''': I bet it's a Clydesdale.
:'''Lynn''': I bet it's tickets to Jelly Wrestlefest 1 15!
:'''Lincoln''': No. No. ''[Lynn does a wrestling jump and landed on him as he groans]''
:'''Lisa''': ''[clears throat]'' You can call me the proverbial wet blanket, stick in the mud, resident sourpuss but, based on statistical averages, there's a 98.3% probability that we're going to mess up before the day is out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': ''[looks up to Luan, stuck whilst sitting on the ceiling]'' Uh, Luan, what's going on up there?
:'''Luan''': Looks like we've got a ''&quot;sit-uation.&quot;''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': We did it! All we gotta do now is bring the furniture back in. ''[outside, they notice the furniture is missing]'' Uh, guys, where's the furniture?

==''Episode 9''==

===''The Last Laugh (9.1)''===

===''Driver's Dread (9.2)''===
:'''Leni''': OMGosh, Lori, I'm so excited to see you this weekend!
:'''Lori''': Samesies! It'll be like old times. Spending the whole day shopping at the Outlet Mall. Did you know everything is 50% off?
:'''Leni''': So if we go twice, it'll be 100% off!
:'''Lori''': ''[confused]'' Huh?
:'''Leni''': BTDubs, Tanya's coming along. She's desperate for a new look. ''[to Tanya]'' Don't stress out, Tanya. I'll find someone to drive us there.
:'''Lori''': You know, Leni, maybe it's time you tried to get your license again.
:'''Leni''': I thought about it, then it scared me, so I stopped thinking about it. Remember the last time? ''[flashback to the events of '''&quot;Driving Miss Hazy&quot;''' where she crashed Vanzilla into a pool]'' Is this the carpool lane? ''[back to present]'' There is no way I'm going through that again. The only thing that scares me more than driving is shoulder pads and perms. ''[shudders]'' But don't worry! I'll find a way to get there.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Rita is in the kitchen writing an article while getting highly caffeinated]''
:'''Rita''': Latte, expresso, macchiato, Fortado… Oh! Those rhyme!
:'''Leni''': Mom? Could you drive me to the mall this weekend? Dad can't-
:'''Rita''': I'm sorry, sweetie, I can't. I have to finish a big article about coffee, coffee, coffee. And now I gotta pee, pee, pee! ''[runs for the bathroom while holding her bladder]''
:'''Leni''': You can't! Lola's taking one of her four-hour baths, and she's only on hour two.
:'''Rita''': ''[bolts out the back door]'' MR. GROUSE, I NEED YOUR BATHROOM! ''[peeks out]'' Maybe you can take the bus.

==''Episode 10''==

===''Bummer Camp (10.1)''===
:'''Leonard''': ''[calling in on the TV from Camp Mastodon]'' Hello? Is this thingy on? I just see me. ''[sees his grandkids as he backs up]'' Up, there you are! Ah, hi, my little minnows!
:'''Lincoln''': Hey, Gramps. What's up?
:'''Leonard''': Well, kiddos, I'm in a bind. I got a new batch of campers coming in a week, and my counselors just bailed on me during training! I'm as stuck as a boat at low tide! Why, without counselors, I'll have to close down Mastodon and return to life at sea.
:''[The kids gasp in shock]''
:'''Lincoln''': Wait, what?
:'''Leonard''': Ah, breaks my heart. I love this ding-dang camp. All the summers your dad and I spent here together… ''[sighs]'' So, if you know any counselors, just let me know. Gramps, over and out. How do you… where do I- WHOA! ''[drops the camera in the lake, where a fish swims over before the call disconnects]''
:'''Lynn''': Gramps leaving?! Major foul! I don't want him to go! ''[starts venting her rage by kicking the couch]''
:'''Luna''': None of us do, dudette. We just got him back!
:'''Lucy''': We have to find some counselors for Gramps. I'll see if any of my undertaker friends are looking to pick up extra cash.
:'''Lincoln''': Wait! We can be Gramps's counselors. Then the camp will stay open and he won't go. Who's with me? ''[the sisters cheer]'' Camp Mastodon, here we come! ''[notices they're still watching ''The Dream Boat'']'' Um, guys?
:'''Lola''': Yeah, we're gonna need five minutes. We have to see who Brynn picked!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Later, Luna repeatedly breaks shovels trying to break the barnacles, with Leni and Lola having brought a box full of them and the entire supply being exhausted. Lynn uses a hammer to break the barnacles, but fails. Lincoln grabs a jackhammer and begins removing barnacles as his sisters cheer, but is sent careening into the woods. Eventually, all the barnacles are gone, and the sisters are all exhausted.]''
:'''Leonard''': Well, rig my sails! I'm impressed, kiddos! Guess you won't have any trouble with the rest of 'em! ''[points to even more barnacle-encrusted canoes]'' Well, let me know when you're finished! ''[leaves]''
:'''Lisa''': Now we know why all those other counselors quit.
:'''Lynn''': Yeah, Gramps is running this camp like he ran his fishing boat, and it's 0% fun!
:'''Lisa''': And if he keeps this up, he'll run off his future campers, too. Mastodon will be done for, and Gramps will leave us! I'm afraid we must tell him.
:''[Lincoln is chase by a runaway jackhammer.]''

===''Sleepstakes (10.2)''===
:''[Lana gets an invitation and hides it in her hat]''
:'''Rita''': Lana, what are you hiding? Is that another note from Principal Huggins about bathing more frequently?
:'''Lana''': No. He gave up on that. ''[takes the invitation out of her hat]'' It's an invitation to a sleepover my friend Kayla's having. But as all of you know, I'm really bad at sleepovers.

==''Episode 11''==

===''Cat-astrophe (11.1)''===
:'''Harold''': Go for Harold?
:'''Nana Gayle''': Harold, it's your mother.
:'''Harold''': Oh! Hi, Mom! Clyde, come say hi to Nana!
:'''Clyde''': Hi, Nana Gayle!
:'''Nana Gayle''': Hey there, baby. What time are you boys coming around for our annual birthday celebration? You didn't forget my big day, did you?
:'''Harold''': ''[shocked]'' Your big day?
:''[Howard gasps, takes out his phone, and scrolls to Nana Gayle's birthday on their daily schedule, realizing they forgot, and faints]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Nana Gayle''': Wait, what is this? Fish cake? Milk fountain? Weird lady in a cat suit? Boys, what's going on?
:'''Harold''': ''[guilty]'' I'm sorry, Mom. We got so distracted planning Cleopawtra and Nepurrtiti's graduation party that we…forgot your birthday.
:'''Howard''': We thought if we brought everything from the cat's party here, we could still give you a great birthday.
:'''Clyde''': We're sorry, Nana. ''[sighs sadly]'' We really messed up.
:'''Scoots''': Yeah, you did. Come on, Gayle. Let 'em have it!

===''Prize Fighter (11.2)''===

==''Time Trap! (Episode 12)''==
:'''Lynn''': Oh-ho-ho-ho, man. I would hate to be you right now, Lori!
:'''Lori''': Me? Lincoln was the one who told me to chip it!
:'''Lincoln''': Well, Charles was supposed to be protecting the vase!
:'''Lana''': You leave Charles out of this! ''[hops on the couch and hugs Charles]'' Who came up with this dumb game anyway?
:'''Lincoln''': Guys! We need to figure what we're going to do about this vase. Remember what happened the last few times it broke?
:''[Flashback to Lincoln, in his Ace Savvy outfit, rappelling from the ceiling to nab the last slice of pizza from Lynn]''
:'''Lynn''': Nice try, Stinkoln. ''[hits him with the pizza box, flinging him into the vase and shattering it]''
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[opens the door, frantically]'' What happened? ''[notices the shattered vase and gasps]'' That was a wedding gift! ''[angrily to them]'' You're all grounded for the night!
:''[Second flashback to Lynn, Lucy, and Luan in the twins' room]''
:'''Lynn''': ''[with her rear stuck inside the vase's neck]'' Told ya it would fit. ''[farts, letting the bottle fly away]''
:'''Rita''': ''[ducks as the vase flies out of the room and shatters; enraged]'' That was a wedding gift! You're all grounded for a week!
:''[Third flashback]''
:'''Lisa''': ''[bursting in through the front door with chemicals]'' Hot chemicals coming through! ''[rushes past the vase, which starts wobbling, but rests; relieved]'' Phew.
:'''Lana''': El Diablo, drop it!
:''[El Diablo slithers past Lisa knocking the chemical out of her hands and destroying the vase with an explosion]''
:'''Rita and Lynn Sr.''': ''[gasp]'' Our wedding gift!
:'''Rita''': ''[angrily]'' You guys are grounded for a month!
:''[Back to present]''
:'''Lincoln''': If Mom and Dad find out we broke the vase again, we'll definitely be grounded for the whole year.
:'''Luna''': Can't we just get rid of it?
:'''Lynn''': ''[imitates buzzer]'' They'd notice. In case you haven't heard, it was a wedding gift.
:'''Lucy''': That vase has been nothing but a pox on this house.
:'''Lola''': Ugh! I wish Mom and Dad never got this heinous thing in the first place!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Siblings, I figured out a way to save our collective gluteus maximi. A while back, I unlocked the secret of time travel. I swore to never use it again, but desperate times call for desperate measures. My plan is simple: I'll travel back to the day of Mom and Dad's wedding. There, I'll prevent our parental units from ever receiving the vase. In layman's terms, no vase, no grounding. Any questions?
:'''Lynn''': ''[raises her hand]'' Yeah… I've got one, brainbox. Won't removing the vase affect the fabric of the space-time continuum?
:'''Lisa''': Actually, that is a highly perceptive question.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Behold! ''[the garage door is stuck]'' Aw, dang it. The door is stuck. Everyone, just crawl under… Ding-dang door ruining my reveal… ''[scoffs]''
:'''Leni''': So where's the time machine?
:'''Lisa''': You're lookin' at it.
:'''Lincoln''': You built a time machine? Out of Vanzilla? In seven minutes?!
:'''Lisa''': Well, it's not like it was hard. All I needed was an alkaline-coated crankshaft and some plutonium. Mm-hmm. ''[rips off her shirt and pants to reveal a tuxedo]''
:'''Lola''': You even had time to get a tux?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': How in Galileo's micrometer did you get here?!
:'''Lincoln''': We snuck in the back seat when you weren't looking. You have terrible peripheral vision.
:'''Lana''': We wanna help you with the mission!
:'''Lola''': And I'm not one to miss a party.
:'''Lisa''': Fine… Since you're here, you can help me find the vase. But remember, it's crucial that we get it, swap it, and get out without being seen. Let's roll!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lynn''': Mom and Dad are gonna feel pretty bad when they hear we had to- ''[feels the couch]'' This feels different.
:'''Lola''': ''[gasps]'' That's 'cause it ''is'' different! Mom and Dad would never shell out for high-quality upholstery like this!
:'''Lucy''': The blood- I mean, ketchup stains on the walls are gone.
:'''Lana''': This carpet feels softer than normal. And where are all the mud stains?
:'''Lori''': ''[sniffs]'' And it doesn't smell like Cliff's farts, or Lynn's.
:'''Lynn''': ''[preparing to fart]'' Oh, I can fix that.
:'''Lola''': ''[screaming from upstairs]'' What happened to my room?! My trophies! My headshots! Mr. Sprinkles! '''MY HEADSHOTS!!!'''
:''[The siblings check to see the twins' bedroom, now into a gym room]''
:'''Lynn''': Why is your room full of gym equipment?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Welp, it seems my hypothesis was correct. We've altered the course of history. ''[gulps]'' I'm afraid…'''''we don't exist!'''''
:''[The other Loud siblings gasp; End of Act 1]''
:''[Beginning Act 2]''
:'''Lincoln''': What do you mean we don't exist?
:'''Lisa''': We altered the timeline and erased our own existence. In this timeline, Mom and Dad never had kids. Huh. The question is why… Perhaps there is someone who could help us fill in the blanks.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lana''': Found a crankshaft! Ooh, also found this junkyard burrito. Double score! ''[surfs on a car door and lands on other trash while Lynn nabs the crankshaft and Chunk gets the burrito]
:'''Alternative Chunk''': Brilliant. I just found me lunch. ''[eats the burrito]'' A bit o' bad news, though. I think your punk friend flew the coop. ''[points to the dropped guitar, which Luna has disappeared]''
:'''Lincoln''': Now Luna disappeared!
:'''Lucy''': So did Leni.
:'''Lisa''': Of course - they're disappearing in birth order.
:'''Lynn''': We gotta move fast if we want to save the rest of us.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Without me, Chandler took my spot in the friend group.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Luan''': ''[sniffs]'' Ooh, smell that? Pet dander and farts!
:'''Luna''': Look! There are pics of us on the wall!
:'''Lincoln''': ''[checks the couch]'' Yes! The couch is sticky! What the…?!
:'''Lisa''': Yeah! The timeline has been repaired!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[off-screen]'' Kids, we're home!
:''[Their parents enter with a pizza box]''
:'''Rita''': We picked up pizza for di- ''[she and Lynn Sr. gasp upon seeing the broken vase]'' You broke our vase again?! ''[The siblings all smile]'' And you're happy about it?
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[sternly]'' Ok, that is it! Everyone is grounded for two months!
:'''Lincoln''': ''[as he and his sisters hug them]'' We'll stay home with you as long as you'd like.

==''Episode 13''==

===''Crashed Course (13.1)''===

===''Puns and Buns (13.2)''===
:'''Andre''': Benjamin Stein, you may have just started working here, but I know greatness when I see it. I am promoting you to Assistant Manager of the Burpin' Burger. ''[puts a golden Burger necklace on around Benny's neck]''
:'''Benny''': Wow, the Golden Buns? Dreams do come true!
:'''Andre''': You've earned it. You're always on time, your uniform is always clean. And you're the first person ''ever'' to organize the pickles…by size.
:'''Benny''': Thank you, Andre. I'll teach you how to organize the pickles too, Otis. Once you've recovered from that accident with the burger sign.
:''[Flashback to Otis' accident while dressed in a burger costume as he spins the sign, flinging it upwards and falls on him]''
:'''Andre''': And we all want you to get better soon. ''[hits Otis in the injured arm, making him cringe in pain]'' Especially me, because I have to fill in for you.
:'''Benny''': No one wears the buns like you, boss.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Luan''': Well, I'd better take Mr. Coconuts home. We just used our savings on that hilarious soda bit. I miss spending time with you, Benny. Ever since Dairyland closed for the off season, I don't see you very much. ''[takes out her phone and shows Benny a photo of herself in her Heidi Heifer costume, unmasking herself in front of him and scaring him, causing him to knock the popcorn cart over]'' Remember how I'd sneak up on you and scare you, and you'd knock over your popcorn cart? ''[laughs]'' I missed that.
:'''Benny''': ''[laughs]'' Classic us. I miss it, too.
:'''Luan''': ''[gets an idea]'' Wait. Benny, why don't I just work here with you? Problem solved!
:'''Benny''': I was just thinking that, too! But I don't know if Andre will go for it. He takes fast food very seriously.
:'''Andre''': ''[now in the burger costume as he puts ketchup on as war paint]'' Be the burger, be the burger. Sesame seed bun! ''[charges out the door]''
:'''Luan''': You can convince him. He'll listen to you.
:'''Benny''': You're right. I'm Assistant Manager now!
:''[Outside the restaurant]''
:'''Andre''': Absolutely not. Luan, work here? Are you kidding?
:'''Benny''': But sir, Otis is still injured and we could really use a little more help. Plus, she ''does'' have experience. Her family owns a restaurant. And she promised to leave Mr. Coconuts at home.
:'''Andre''': Fine, but Luan is your responsibility. She can be your first assignment as assistant manager.
:'''Benny''': Thanks, boss! You won't regret this!
:'''Andre''': I hope not.
:'''Benny''': ''[chuckles and heads back inside; clears throat, holding up a Burpin' Burger uniform in front of Luan]'' Welcome to the Burpin' Burger family, Luan! You start tomorrow!

==''Episode 14''==

===''Lights, Camera, Nuclear Reaction (14.1)''===
:'''Lincoln''': Todd, you were amazing! And the hologram effect Lisa installed was the coolest! ''[notices something]'' Todd? ''[passes through him, turning out he's a hologram; shocked]'' Ahh!
:'''Todd''': ''[laughs]'' '''Got you, Lincoln. You should have seen the look on your face. Actually, I can show you. Playing memory from three seconds ago.''' ''[plays the memory and replays Lincoln's shock multiple times while zooming in on his face; laughs]'' '''Good times.'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lisa''': ''[enters the dining room, panting]'' Quick question, have you seen the nuclear reactor from yesterday's shoot? Uh, not to create any panic, but it's missing. And if it falls into the wrong hands… ''[chuckles nervously]'' it could potentially destroy Royal Woods.
:'''Lincoln''': You mean that was real?!
:'''Lisa''': You asked for screen accuracy, Lincoln. Anyway, if you stumble on a glowing, unstable nuclear reactor, let me know.
:'''Lincoln''': You're in luck, Lisa. Where there's evil in the world, there's only one secret agent who can stop it, and his name is-
:'''Clyde''': Um, Lincoln, Lisa already left.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[sighs]'' Agent David Steele. We're coming up to help, Lis!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Todd''': '''So glad you could make it, Mr. Steele and friends.'''
:'''Lincoln''': This isn't you, Todd! It's the villain switch talking! Look, we're going to slowly come over and turn it off, OK?
:'''Todd''': ''[presses a button and traps the three in a net]'' '''Sorry, Agent Steele. That won't be happening, and now you can all watch annihilate Royal Woods. Oh, and one last thing.''' ''[removes the villain switch to their horror]'' '''Now I'll be in villain mode forever.''' ''[laughs]'' '''You should see your faces. Actually, I can show you. Playing memory from three seconds ago.''' ''[plays and replays the memory of them gasping]''

===''Food Courting (14.2)''===
:'''Miguel''': Leni, you ready for lunch?
:'''Leni''': Definitely. How 'bout Spaghetti on a Stick? I'm craving skewered noodles.
:'''Miguel''': Uh, sure, but, let's go to the Spaghetti on a Stick across town, or maybe one in a different town. I hear you get free marinara in Hazeltucky.
:'''Leni''': That's silly, it's right there. Come on.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gavin''': Welcome to Spaghetti on a Stick. How can I help you today?
:'''Miguel''': ''[sweating nervously]'' Uh, nice boats. Are those shoes fresh? Boy, that episode of ''The Dream Sauce,'' huh? ''[Gavin stares confusingly at him; rushes off embarrassingly, and bumps into a man in lederhosen, getting sauerkraut in his eyes]'' AHH! SAUERKRAUT IN MY EYE!
:'''Leni''': Don't worry, we are not giving up. ''[sniffs]'' And sauerkraut is actually a good scent on you.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gavin''': Hey, Miguel! Looking stylish as usual.
:'''Leni''': ''[through radio microphone]'' ''Thanks. What can you tell me about the rigatoni today?''
:'''Miguel''': Uh--uh, thanks. What can you tell me about the rigatoni today?
:'''Gavin''': Excellent question! The pasta is fresh from Sicily. Well, Sicily, Michigan, but still. So, can I put in an order from you?
:'''Scoots''': ''[interrupting]'' Quit daydreaming, blondie, and ring these up.
:'''Leni''': One moment, please.
:'''Miguel''': ''[in the exact same tone and posture]'' One moment, please.
:'''Gavin''': I get it, choosing the right pasta takes time.
:'''Miguel''': I'm gonna have to ask you to calm down and step back, please.
:'''Leni''': ''[being bothered at Scoots waving the pants in her face]'' I said, step back, please!
:'''Scoots''': And ''I'' said, I've waited long enough!
:'''Gavin''': Uh, Miguel? Is everything all right?
:'''Miguel''': ''[laughs nervously and runs off before slipping and falling into the fountain; Felix offers him a washcloth]'' Oh, thanks, Felix.
:'''Leni''': ''[while being chased by Scoots]'' SECURITY!
:'''Scoots''': ''[angrily chasing after her]'' Get back here, blondie!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Leni''': Gavin, what a surprise.
:'''Gavin''': Oh. Hey, Leni. Hey, Miguel.
:'''Leni''': Miguel, look, it's Gavin!
:'''Miguel''': ''[awkwardly snapping out of it]'' Grey! Sorry. I started to say &quot;greetings&quot;, but then I switched it to &quot;hey.&quot; Ugh!

==''Episode 15''==

===''Save the Last Pants (15.1)''===

===''A Stella Performance (15.2)''===

==''Episode 16''==

===''Hiccups and Downs (16.1)''===
:'''Leni''': Wow. I've never heard a guitar make that sound before.
:'''Lisa''': Negatory. It would appear Luna is having involuntary contractions of the diaphragm. Street name: hiccups, brought on by all of her excitement. They'll cease in no time.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Luna''': The Rumble's tonight, and there's no way I can sing like this! What am I gonna- ''[hiccups]'' -do?!
:'''Lisa''': ''[gasps]'' I know what would cure those: an anti-hiccup elixir. Yeah, if only someone would invent one.
:'''Luna''': ''[hiccups]'' Come on, sibs. One of you has to know how to get rid of my- ''[hiccups and falls to the floor, surrounded by the spilled food]'' Please, you've gotta help me!
:'''Luan''': Aw, Luna. You know we're ''&quot;hicc-up&quot;'' for it, but first things first… ''[grabs a fork; to her siblings]'' Everybody, hurry and eat while she's down!

===''The Loathe Boat (16.2)''===

==''Episode 17''==

===''Cheer Pressure (17.1)''===

===''Stroke of Luck (17.2)''===

==''Episode 18''==

===''Space Jammed (18.1)''===

===''Crown and Dirty (18.2)''===

==''Episode 19''==

===''The Orchid Grief (19.1)''===

===''Forks and Knives Out (19.2)''===

==''Episode 20''==

===''The Loud Cloud (20.1)''===

===''You Auto Know Better (20.2)''===

==''Halloween Burst! (Episode 21)''==

==''Episode 22''==

===''Pop Pop the Question (22.1)''===

===''Lynn and Order (22.2)''===

==''Episode 23''==

===''Snow Escape (23.1)''===

===''Snow News Day (23.2)''===

==''Episode 24''==

===''Day of the Dad (24.1)''===

===''Small Blunder (24.2)''===

==''Episode 25''==

===''Fashion No Show (25.1)''===

===''Doom Service (25.2)''===

==''Episode 26''==

===''The Hurt Lockers (26.1)''===

===''Love Stinks (26.2)''===</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>A Loud House Christmas</title>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-27T14:01:22Z</timestamp>
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      <text bytes="13935" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:A Loud House Christmas|A Loud House Christmas]]''''' is a live-action holiday film based on the [[The Loud House|Animated series]].
:''Directed by Johnathan Judge. Written by Liz Maccie.''

==Dialogue==
:'''Lincoln''': ''[looking out his bedroom window; to the viewers]'' Christmas is only two days away and I can't wait. When you've got ten sisters, Christmas can get ''pretty'' epic. ''[gets a message on his phone]'' &quot;Your Driver Bill is enroute with your package!&quot; This year, I ordered an extra-special gift for my family. ''[exits his room, only for Luan to throw a pie at him in the face]'' Luan, what gives?!
:'''Luan''': I decided to up my game from the 12 Puns of Christmas to the 12 Pranks of Christmas!
:'''Lincoln''': Well, if it's a Christmas prank, then I'm all in.
:'''Mr. Coconuts''': ''[hands Lincoln a cloth to wipe his face]'' That was number nine. ''[sinisterly]'' Three more to go.
:'''Lincoln''': Now that Luan is gone, I'll be safe for a while.
:'''Lynn''': Hey, Stinkoln! ''[charges at her brother, who screams, and tackles him to the floor]''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[groans in pain]'' Spoke too soon.
:'''Lynn''': Just getting ready for a Christmas afternoon football game. Can I try that tackle one more time?
:'''Lincoln''': No. ''[Lynn groans in annoyed frustration and leaves; to the viewers]'' Christmas at the Loud House is ''full'' of traditions. Each one of us contributes something important to our special day. ''[an explosion sets off in Lisa and Lily's room; turns as Lisa walks out with a beaker]'' How's the perma-snow coming, Lisa?
:'''Lisa''': It's the trace amount of ammonia needed to sustain the creation of snow that is the constant variable.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[to the viewers]'' Or as I like to call it: Thursday. ''[turns back to Lisa]'' You're our ''only'' chance at a white Christmas.
:'''Lisa''': ''[nods and goes back into her room]'' Science will prevail. ''[shuts the door]''
:'''Lucy''': Hi, Lincoln.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[turns around to see her in front him; spooked]'' Lucy, you scared me.
:'''Lucy''': You're welcome. ''[opens her little coffin, containing pine needles]'' I've collected all the dead pine needles from our Christmas tree.
:'''Lincoln''': I'm sorry for your loss.
:''[Lucy closes her coffin and slowly walks into her and Lynn's room]''
:'''Luna''': Yeah! ''[playing her guitar]'' ♪ It's Christmas time and our hearts are free / Presents tucked underneath the tree now / It's the best day of the best time of our ''LIVES!!!'' ♪
:'''Lincoln''': ''[smiling with amazement]'' Great Christmas tunes, Luna!
:'''Luna''': Thanks, little bro!
:'''Leni''': ''[taps Lincoln on the shoulder]'' Tell me honestly, Lincoln. Does my concept design for my custom-made Christmas pajamas have too much sparkle? Tanya thinks it's bordering on too much. ''[to Tanya]'' Don't you, Tanya?
:'''Lincoln''': Leni… there can ''never'' be too much Christmas sparkle.
:'''Leni''': Thanks, Lincoln! ''[to Tanya]'' See? Sparkle equals happiness!
:'''Lola''': Move. I need to put my tiara on.
:'''Lana''': I need to get Hops' outfit on!
:'''Lola''': I don't care.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[enters the bathroom]'' Lola, Lana, Merry Christmas.
:'''Lana''': Come on, Hops.
:'''Lincoln''': It looks like Rudolph himself.
:'''Lana''': ''[leaves the bathroom]'' Right on, bro.
:'''Lincoln''': How's the Christmas pageant coming, Lola?
:'''Lola''': If you must know, Lincoln. It's literally taking years from my life! ''[turns around to him]'' Okay, I need my beauty time. ''[pushes him out of the bathroom and closes the door]''
:''[The hallway lights flicker on and off and Lincoln turns around to see Lily, standing on a wobbly chair, playing with the switch]''
:'''Lily''': Light tree.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[alarmed]'' LILY! ''[rushes over and grabs her before the chair falls and holds her hand as they walk down the stairs to the living room; to the viewers]'' Tomorrow night, Lily gets to turn on the lights for the Royal Woods Christmas tree!
:''[Lily runs to the TV, showing a broadcast news channel with Katherine Mulligan reporting]''
:'''Katherine''': ''[on TV]'' This is Katherine Mulligan, coming to you live from the scene of tomorrow's magical Royal Woods Christmas tree lighting…
:'''Lily''': ''[points to the TV]'' Katherine Mulligan. Light tree, Lincoln, light tree.
:'''Lincoln''': Yes, Lily.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After breakfast, the Louds have a family meeting in the living room]''
:'''Rita''': ''[yelling while blow-drying her phone]'' Now listen, we know this isn't the Christmas we were expecting, with Lori, Luan, and Luna gone…
:'''Lynn Sr.''': ''[also yelling over the blow-drying]'' We just have to make the best of this situation!
:'''Lincoln''': Tell him, Mom. We need to fix this situation.
:'''Rita''': Wouldn't it be fun to take a trip?
:'''Lynn Sr.''': A trip?
:'''Lincoln''': On Christmas?!
:'''Rita''': With three of the kids gone already, maybe we could be our crazy, old, spontaneous selves. Get up super early Christmas morning, jump in Vanzilla, and take the remaining kids on a trip! Somewhere… exotic.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Go on.
:'''Rita''': Somewhere like… ''Miami!''
:'''Sisters''': ''[excited]'' YAY!
:'''Lincoln''': NO!!!!
:'''Lynn Sr.''': I have ''always'' wanted a vacation in Miami!
:'''Lincoln''': Dad, no!
:'''Leni''': ''[squeals]'' Bikinis!
:'''Lola''': Miami's where the Little Miss Citrus Pageant takes place!
:'''Lynn''': We could go to a Miami Dolphins game!
:'''Lana''': The moist would do wonders for Hops' scales!
:'''Lucy''': We could witness a shark attack.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': ''[over walkie-talkie]'' Reindeer Clyde, come in. This is Christmas Humbug and I've got a Code L-Red!
:'''Clyde''': Hold my spot, Dads. ''[leaves the line]'' Christmas Humbug, this is Reindeer Clyde.
:'''Lincoln''': Christmas is ruined all thanks to ''my'' selfish family!
:'''Clyde''': What happened?
:'''Lincoln''': Lori isn't coming home from college, Luna is going skiing with Sam, Luan has a gig at Sunset Canyon, and Mom and Dad are taking the rest of us to Miami!
:'''Clyde''': ''[shocked]'' ''WHAT?!'' What about me? What would I do?! Coming to your house on Christmas Day is an essential part of my holiday experience!
:'''Lincoln''': Finally, someone who gets it!
:'''Clyde''': This is the worst news ever!
:'''Lincoln''': I have to save Christmas, Clyde. I don't know how, but I've got 24 hours to do it.
:'''Clyde''': I've got your back, Christmas Humbug. I'll be right there.
:'''Lincoln''': Thanks, Reindeer Clyde. I knew I could count on you.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mick''': ''[on doctored message]'' Hello there, Luna Loud. Mick Swagger here. ''[Luna and Sam gasp and squeal with happiness while Lincoln and Clyde eavesdrop]'' Just giving you a ring to say I'll be in Royal Woods on Christmas Day. I'd love to get together and jam. Hope it's not too late notice, love. See you spoon.
:'''Luna''': YES!
:'''Sam''': ''[confused]'' Did he just say &quot;spoon?&quot;
:'''Luna''': This is the greatest day of my life!
:'''Sam''': But then you can't come skiing.
:'''Luna''': Jamming with Mick is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, Sam!
:'''Sam''': I know, but this is gonna be such a special trip for us.
:'''Luna''': We'll take a different trip some other time!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Now Luan Loud is messing with the pudding machines all to promote her Christmas Day show.
:'''Clyde''': It's a real shame.
:'''Scoots''': No one messes with my pudding!
:'''Lincoln &amp; Clyde''': Yeah!
:'''Nana Gayle''': ''[agreeing]'' It's true. Nobody messes with Scoots' pudding.
:'''Lincoln''': Might be best to go with a different act on Christmas Day.
:'''Clyde''': I agree, a far less devious and messy entertainer.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': We're gonna need a bigger bike.
:'''Clyde''': It's more megalodon than &quot;Jaws&quot;, but that only adds to the terror.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[checking his phone as it beeps]'' It's already 3:05 p.m., and this video has to be ready for the 5:00 p.m. local news.
:'''Clyde''': Once we're done shooting, I'll spruce it up with some special effects on my computer, then send it to Katherine's personal e-mail. 
:'''Lincoln''': How'd you get Katherine Mulligan's personal e-mail?
:'''Clyde''': She auditioned for my dads' reimagining of &quot;Wonder Woman: the Musical.&quot; She should keep her day job. Let's just leave it at that.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Hey, Lynn, wanna try that tackle one more time? I'm heading into the end zone.
:'''Lynn''': ''[grumpy]'' Now that I'm not gonna see the Dolphins, I don't feel like playing football anymore. ''[walks into her and Lucy's room]''
:'''Luna''': ''[lying on her bunk bed, sadly strumming her guitar]'' ♪ No presents tucked under the tree… ♪
:'''Lincoln''': ''[taking a look]'' Luna?
:'''Luna''': ''[sits up and wipes her teary eyes; sniffling]'' Hey, little bro.
:'''Lincoln''': Are you crying?
:'''Luna''': ''[heartbroken and upset]'' Sam broke up with me because I picked jamming with Mick Swagger over going skiing with her!
:'''Lincoln''': ''[surprised]'' What? That wasn't supposed to happen. ''[realizes]'' I mean, I'm so sorry that that happened.
:'''Luna''': ''[depressingly continues strumming and singing]'' ♪ Christmas time is when our hearts are free / But if I ain't with you, I'm in misery / My heart is dead ♪ ''[sobs]''
:'''Lincoln''': ''[walks into the hallway and sees Leni in her room, sobbing]'' Leni, are you okay?
:'''Leni''': No!
:'''Lincoln''': Why aren't you dressed in your super special Christmas outfit?
:'''Leni''': I'm not really into Christmas mood anymore. I don't know what's worse. That I missed Tanya, or that I got fired for losing her.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[shocked]'' You got fired?!
:'''Leni''': My boss said I should have caught whoever stole her. I really let Tanya down. Wherever she is, I hope she has her cover-up.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Sisters''': ''[while closing their bedroom doors]'' I'm canceling Christmas! I want to be in Miami! My life is ruined! Tanya! Worst Christmas ever!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lori''': Mom, you literally have no idea what I've been through.
:'''Rita''': Come get in the van and warm up.
:'''Bobby''': ''[interrupting]'' Um, Mrs. L, can I ask you, like, a really big favor?
:'''Rita''': Okay.
:'''Bobby''': I ''still'' need to make my abuela's Christmas tamale delivery for her hairdresser, or she'll kill me.
:'''Lori''': ''[shocked]'' You had food in that thing all along?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Rita''': Are those my Christmas lights? And my Santa?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Rita''': Lincoln, what happened? Why are you the sharkodile?
:'''Katherine''': Yes. ''[turns to the camera]'' I think that is the question on everyone's mind.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': Lincoln, I think it's time for you to start explaining.
:'''Lincoln''': ''[takes a deep breath, upset]'' I made up this entire thing. The sharkodile in Florida, all of it. That's not all. And I lied… to ''all'' of you. Leni, I stole Tanya. ''[Leni puts her hand over her chest, hyperventilating]'' Lori, I tricked you into coming home.
:'''Lori''': ''[disbelieved]'' What?
:'''Lincoln''': Luna, Mick Swagger isn't visiting. Luan, I sabotaged your gig at Sunset Canyon.
:'''Lori''': Lincoln, why would you do all of these horrible things?
:'''Leni''': Wait! Does that mean Tanya's okay?
:'''Lincoln''': ''[whispers]'' Yes.
:'''Lucy''': It's all so dark, Lincoln.
:'''Luan''': ''[envious]'' You made me question my comedic-calling!
:'''Luna''': ''[walks closer]'' But why, little bro? Why would you mess with your own fam like that?
:'''Lincoln''': Because I wanted us all to be together on Christmas. It's the one time of the year that I can count on all of us being together. I love my family. I don't want us to break apart. I got scared that we were all growing up and going our separate ways, and if I could take it all back, I would.
:'''Rita''': ''[lowers to her son's height]'' I understand.
:'''Lincoln''': You do?
:'''Lynn Sr.''': I do too, bud. 
:'''Rita''': Growing up is hard. Change is hard, but family-- family is forever, Lincoln.
:'''Lynn Sr.''': That's right. We're always tied together by our hearts, no matter where we are.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Katherine''': There you have it, folks. A little boy's wish to spend Christmas together with his family. This is Katherine Mulligan saying it may not be a white Christmas, but it certainly will be a merry one after all!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': ''[to the viewers]'' As you can see, things turned out for the best. I have 300 hours of community service. But, at least we got to spend Christmas morning together. And in a few hours, Luna is going skiing with Sam, Luan has a double gig at Sunset Canyon, we're going to take Lori back to college, and then the rest of us are going to…
:'''Lily''': Miami!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lincoln''': Family's connected by their hearts. Even when we're apart, we're not really apart. I will miss how things used to be, but I'm really enjoying how they are.

==Taglines==
* The Louds are coming to life.
* The Loud House is getting real.

==Cast==
* Wolfgang Schaeffer as Lincoln Loud
* Jahzir Bruno as Clyde McBride
* Lexi Dibenedetto as Lori Loud
* Dora Dolphin as Leni Loud
* Sophia Woodward as Luna Loud
* Catherine Ashmore Bradley as Luan Loud and Mr. Coconuts
* Morgan McGill as Lynn Loud (Jr.)
* Aubin Bradley as Lucy Loud
* Ella Allan as Lola Loud
* Mia Allan as Lana Loud
* Lexi Janicek as Lisa Loud
* Charolette Ann Tucker and Lainey Jane Knowles as Lily Loud
* Muretta Moss as Rita Loud
* Brian Stepnaek as Lynn Loud Sr.
* Catherine Taber as Katherine Mulligan
* Brian Patrick Wade as Rip Hardcore
* Justin Michael Stevenson as Howard McBride
* Marcus Folmar as Harold McBride
* Jill Jane Clements as Scoots
* Bill Southworth as Grandpa Albert Loud (Pop-pop)
* Gail Everett-Smith as Nana Gayle
* Matt Van Smith as Bobby Santiago
* Zoë DuVall as Sam Sharp

[[Category:2021 films]]
[[Category:Christmas films]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Turning Red</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>245979</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158776</id>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-28T07:03:02Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2600:1007:B027:EA31:21A1:6202:94CA:868B</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="30508" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{W|Turning Red}}''''' is a 2022 American &lt;!--Do NOT add Canadian. Even though the movie was set in Canada, it was developed and produced by an American studio.--&gt;[[w:Computer animation|computer-animated]] [[w:Coming-of-age film|coming-of-age]] [[w:Fantasy-comedy|fantasy comedy film]] produced by [[w:Pixar|Pixar Animation Studios]] and for distribution by [[w:Walt Disney Pictures|Walt Disney Pictures]]. It was released on [[w:Disney+|Disney+]] on March 11, 2022 and then DVD, Blu-ray &amp; 4K on May 3, 2022. It is directed by Domee Shi (academy award short, &quot;Bao&quot;) in her feature directorial debut, from a screenplay written by herself and [[Julia Cho]]. The film stars the voices of Rosalie Chiang, [[w:Sandra Oh|Sandra Oh]], Ava Morse, Maitreyi Ramakrishnan, Hyein Park, Orion Lee, Wai Ching Ho and [[w:James Hong|James Hong]]. It is the first Pixar film to be solely directed by a woman, the first to take place in Canada, and the second to feature an Asian lead character after ''[[w:Up (2009 film)|Up]]''.

==Meilin &quot;Mei&quot; Lee/Panda Meilin==
* ''[first lines of the film]'' The number one rule in my family? Honor your parents. They're the supreme beings who gave you life who sweated and sacrificed so much to put a roof over your head, food on your plate, an ''epic'' amount of food. The least you can do in return is every single thing they ask. 'Course some people are like, &quot;Be careful. Honoring your parents sounds great, but if you take it too far, well, you might forget to honor yourself.&quot; ''[the scene cuts to her in close-up; to the viewers]'' Luckily, I don't have that problem. I'm Meilin Lee. And ever since I turned 13, I've been doin' my own thing, makin' my own moves; 24/7, 365. I wear what I want, say what I want, and I will not hesitate to do a spontaneous cartwheel if I feel so moved!
* Not to brag, but being 13 means I'm officially a grown-up. At least according to the Toronto Transit Commission.
* All about that hustle, am I right?
* Jesse went to art school. Tae Young fosters injured doves. Robaire speaks French. And Aaron T. and Aaron Z. are, like, really talented too. We are 4*Townies, remember? Ride or die!
* Okay. I know what it looks like. I ''am'' my own person, but that doesn't mean doing whatever I want. Like most adults, I have responsibilities. It's not all about me, you know? I do make my own moves, it's just that… some of my moves are also ''hers.''
* ''Don't look at the notebook, don't look at the notebook, don't!''
* You sicko! What we're you thinking?! Why would you draw those things? Those horrible, awful, sexy things?! ''[walking back and forth]'' It's fine. You'll move to another city, change your identity. ''[muffledly yells under her bed; weeping tearfully to a photo frame of her and Ming]'' Mommy, I'm so sorry! ''[to her reflection, angrily]'' You are pride and joy, so ACT LIKE IT!
* I'm a gross red monster! ''[sobs]'' Stop it! STOP TALKING!
* AWOOGA!
* Don't look at me! Stay back!
* I hate this! I'm slobby, I'm smelly… my mom won't even look at me…and now 4*Town?! When are they coming? ''('''Abby:''' May 18th. They just announced it.)'' The 18th?! There's no way this will be gone by then! Just go! Go become women without me! ''('''Miriam:''' Mei, it's gonna be okay.)'' No, it's not. I'm a freak. Just… ''[sighs]'' Just leave me alone.
* ''('''Ming:''' How is this possible? What happened to your panda?)'' It's easy. When I start to get emotional, all I do is imagine the people I love most in the whole world. Which is you guys.
* We ''need'' to see this concert! Why doesn't my mom get that? I never ask for anything. My whole life, I've been her perfect little Mei-Mei. Temple duties, grades… ''('''Abby:''' Violin!) ('''Priya:''' Tap dancing.'')'' ''Yeah. We've been ''so'' good. If they don't trust us anyway, then what's the point?'' ('''Miriam:''' Wow. Who are you? I love it.) ('''Abby:''' FIGHT THE POWER!)
* Hey, Tyler! You want the panda? You're ''getting'' the panda! Let's hear it for the birthday boy!
* I can't be like this forever. My whole family would freak. Especially my mom. All her hopes and dreams are pinned on me.
* I can't miss 4*Town! We worked so hard! But the ritual. I'll let everyone down!
* ''[lividly attacking Tyler in her red panda form]'' TAKE IT BACK! DON'T TALK ABOUT MY FAMILY LIKE THAT! I HATE YOU!!!
* The panda's dangerous… outta control.
* I'm keeping it.
* ''[seeing that Tyler's a fan of 4*Town]'' ''You'' are a 4*Townie?!
* ''[while fighting Panda Ming]'' Well, sorry I'm not perfect, sorry I'm not good enough, and sorry... ''[flies with rage]'' '''I'LL NEVER BE LIKE ''YOU!'''''
* I'm changing, Mom. I'm finally figuring out who I am, but… I'm scared it'll take me away from you.
* ''[to Sun Yee]'' I'm not going to regret this, am I?
* I'm Meilin Lee, and ever since I turned 13, life's been ''a lot''. People still talk about Pandapocalypse 2002. Mom and I just call it growing pains.
* What? Mr. Gao had to put her panda in something. You should see Grandma's.
* My panda, my choice, Mom.
* Sometimes, I miss how things were, but… Nothing stays the same forever. We've all got an inner beast. We've all got a messy, loud, weird part of ourselves hidden away. And a lot of us never let it out. But I did. How 'bout you?
* ''[trailer]'' My whole life, I've been perfect little Mei-Mei… but maybe I ''like'' this new me.

==Ming Lee/Panda Ming==
* Sun Yee, revered ancestor, guardian of the red pandas, we humbly thank you for protecting and guiding us. Especially Mei-Mei.
* Who are these hip-hoppers? And why are they called &quot;4*Town&quot; if there are five of them?
* The Daisy Mart has lost a loyal customer today.
* Tell him you forgot your PADS!
* As you know, our ancestor Sun Yee had a mystical connection with red pandas. In fact, she loved them so much that she asked the gods to turn her into one. ''[narrating]'' It was wartime. The men were all gone. Sun Yee was desperate for a way to protect herself and her daughters. Then one night, during a red moon, the gods granted her wish. They gave her the ability to harness her emotions, to transform into a powerful mystical beast. She was able to fend off bandits, protect her village, and save her family from ruin. Sun Yee passed this gift to her daughters, for when they came of age. And they passed it to theirs. But over time, our family chose to come to a new world. And what was a blessing became… an inconvenience.
* This is awful. What are we gonna do? ''('''Jin:''' Don't worry. We'll get through this.) No one'' can see her like this. I never wanted this for her. Did you see how she was in the temple?
* This isn't music. This is filth. And it's not worth jeopardizing your life over.
* What was that? Am I the only one who sees the danger here? There's no way she could keep her panda in, and $200 for what?! Who do they think they are, [[w:Celine Dion|Celine Dion]]? Hmm. Unbelievable. I saw that look. Where did she get that from? Treating her own mother like that.
* You think is a joke? Do you know how dangerous this is?!
* You can do it! Keep going!
* How could she? ''[growls as her sadness turns to rage]'' How could she do this to…her own '''''mother?!''' [her talisman necklace breaks, releasing her red panda spirit as it merges into her body; everyone steps back in horror as she rises with her eyes glowing red with fury] &lt;big&gt;'''MEI-MEI!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
* ''[angrily picks up Mei with her giant paw]'' &lt;big&gt;You are in '''''big''''' trouble, young lady!&lt;/big&gt; ''('''Meilin:''' Mom, let go!)'' &lt;big&gt;I'm shutting this down, RIGHT NOW! Everyone, GO HOME! Where are your parents? Put some clothes on!&lt;/big&gt;
* &lt;big&gt;You think you're so mature! Lying to me! Blaming me! How could be so, so… '''''CRASS?!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
* I see you, Mei-Mei. You try to make everyone happy, but are so hard on yourself. And if I taught you that…I'm sorry. So, ''don't'' hold back. For anyone. The farther you go, the prouder I'll be.
* This thing's hungry all the time. ''[starts feeding her virtual pet panda]'' Eat up, little one. Oh, you're so hungry. Munch, munch, munch.
* Hold on. You're not going out like that, are you?
* ''[last lines of the film]'' I hate her misbehavior.

==Miriam==
* ''[to Meilin]'' Panda or no panda, no matter what.
* Mei, what if you didn't do the ritual? What if you kept the panda?
* Oh, no. 4*Town's the same night as the ritual?
* Mei-Mei, you hurtin' me!

==Priya==
* Sick. I've always wanted a tail.
* Uh… This says Toledo.

==Abby==
* Let's burn this place to the ground!
* NOT FUNNY, TYLER!
* You're so fluffy, you're so fluffy!
* FIGHT THE POWER!
* WHAT THE HECK IS TOLEDO?!?

==Grandma Wu==
* ''('''Meilin:''' Hey, Grandma.)'' Poor dear. It must be so difficult keeping that unruly beast at bay. Your family is here now, Mei-Mei. And we will take care of everything.
* I know how hard it is to keep the beast in. It feels so good to let it out. So free, but each time you do, the stronger it gets. And then you'll be bound to it forever, and the ritual will fail.
* Your mother and I were close once, but the red panda took that away. I couldn't bear to see that happen to you. So no more panda. I know you'll do what's right.
* Ming, this is a critical time. Mei-Mei needs a strong hand, now more than ever. ''Don't'' let her out of your sight. ''('''Ming:''' I won't, Mother.)''
* ''[sees 4*Town logos in the sky]'' What is that? ''('''Ming:''' I think it's coming from the SkyDome, Mother.)'' Four is the ''worst'' number.
* Long ago, the spirits blessed the women of our family with a great challenge. Mei-Mei, tonight is your turn. Like all the women around this table, you too will banish the beast within and finally become your true self. May Sun Yee guide you and keep you safe.
* ''[after Meilin abandons the ritual by deciding to keep her panda and dashes away to the SkyDome]'' This is a disaster! Unbelievable! Ming! How could you let this happen?! She's out of control!
* Sun Yee, give me strength. ''[transforms into her red panda]''
* ''[in her red panda form; helping her granddaughter]'' I am ''not'' losing my daughter!
* You don't have to apologize. I'm your mother.
* ''[turns to the viewers, wearing a red 4*Town necklace charm]'' So unlucky.

==Dialogue==
:'''Meilin''': Besties, assemble! Miriam!
:'''Miriam''': Huh? Hey!
:'''Meilin''': Priya!
:'''Priya''': Yo.
:'''Meilin''': Abby!
:'''Abby''': ''[shouting Korean; in English]'' Yeah! What's up, Mei?
:'''Meilin''': Ready to change the world?
:'''Miriam''': So ready!
:'''Priya''': I was born to do this.
:'''Abby''': Let's BURN THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ming''': Sun Yee, revered ancestor, guardian of the red pandas. We humbly thank you for protecting and guiding us. Especially Mei-Mei.
:'''Meilin''': May we continue to serve and honor your and this community.
:'''Both''': Always.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''TV Announcer''': You've heard their hits, you've seen their moves, and now you get to experience them live! The worldwide pop sensation 4*Town will be kicking off their North American tour! Tickets on sale now!
:'''Meilin''': ''[gasps in excitement]'' Oh, my gosh!
:'''Ming''': Who are these hip-hoppers? And why are they called &quot;4*Town&quot; if there are five of them?
:'''Meilin''': Uh… I don't know. Some of the kids at school like them.
:'''Ming''': You mean Miriam? That girl is odd.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Ming angrily pulls up at the Daisy Mart and enters after catching her daughter's drawings of her and Devon]''
:'''Tyler''': ''[laughs smugly]'' Oh, snap!
:'''Meilin''': Mom, no!
:'''Ming''': ''[pointing to Devon, fiercely]'' ''You!'' What have you done to my Mei-Mei?!
:'''Devon''': Uh, who?
:'''Tyler''': Meilin Lee, right here. ''[points to Meilin, who's standing next to him]''
:'''Ming''': I should report you to the police. How old are you? 30?!
:'''Devon''': I'm 17.
:'''Ming''': See, see? This is what happens when you don't wear sunblock and do drugs all day! She's just a sweet, innocent child. How dare you take advantage of her! ''[takes out Meilin's drawings and throws them on the counter]''
:'''Meilin''': Mom! NO!!! ''[echoes]''
:'''Devon''': What?!
:''[Everyone gasps at Meilin's drawings and start laughing at her]''
:'''Tyler''': ''[laughs]'' What a weirdo! ''[mocks their kissing]''
:'''Ming''': The Daisy Mart has lost a loyal customer today. ''[leaves the store with her daughter, looking humiliated and embarrassed; sighs with exasperation]'' Thank goodness I was here. That degenerate won't come near you again. Now, is there anything else I should know about, Mei-Mei?
:'''Meilin''': Nope. All good. ''[cut to her in her bedroom, buries her face in a pillow, muffled screaming; breathes heavily]'' You sicko! What were you thinking?! Why would you draw those things? Those horrible, awful, sexy things!? ''[pacing back and forth]'' It's fine. You'll move to another city, change your identity. ''[muffledly yells under her bed; weeping tearfully to a photo frame of her and Ming]'' Mommy, I'm so sorry! ''[to her reflection, angrily]'' You are pride and joy, so ACT LIKE IT! ''[slaps herself; rips the drawings out of her notebook and throws them in the trash can; to her reflection]'' This will never happen again.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Panda Meilin''': Wake up, wake up, wake up!
:'''Ming''': ''[knocking on the bathroom door]'' Mei-Mei, is everything okay?
:'''Panda Meilin''': ''[panicking]'' DON'T COME IN HERE!
:'''Ming''': Mei-Mei, what's going on, honey? Are you sick? Is it a fever? A stomach ache? Chills? Constipation?
:'''Panda Meilin''': No!
:'''Ming''': Wait. Is it… that? Did the… Did the red peony bloom?
:'''Panda Meilin''': No! …Maybe?
:'''Ming''': ''[gasps]'' But it's too soon. Don't worry, Mei-Mei. I'll get everything you need. Mommy's here. Jin. Jin! It's happening!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ming''': Mei-Mei, I know this is upsetting, but we are going to get through this together. I have ibuprofen, vitamin B, a hot water bottle, and pads. Regular, overnight, scented, unscented, thin, ultra-thin, ultra-thin with wings…
:'''Panda Meilin''': Uh-huh. All right. Awesome. Just leave them by the sink.
:'''Ming''': Mei-Mei. Perhaps we should talk about why this is happening.
:'''Panda Meilin''': No! I mean… nah, it's okay. 
:'''Ming''': You are a woman now. And your body is starting to change.
:'''Panda Meilin''': ''[muffled]'' Mmm-hmm. 
:'''Ming''': It's nothing to be embarrassed about.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ming''': ''[pulling up at the middle school, dropping her daughter off]'' I know it feels strange, Mei-Mei, but I promise, nobody will notice a thing.
:'''Meilin''': Thank you for your concern, Mother. But I'll be fine.
:'''Ming''': Well, here's your lunch. I packed extra snacks. And herbal tea. For cramps. It helps relax your…
:'''Meilin''': I got it. Thank you. Bye!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ming''': ''[takes a compartment chest out of the wall behind the tapestry of Sun Yee; sighs]'' As you know, our ancestor, Sun Yee had a mystical connection with red pandas. ''[opens the chest and takes out a scroll]'' In fact, she loved them so much that she asked the gods to turn her into one. ''[opens the scroll with a story; narrating]'' It was wartime. The men were all gone. Sun Yee was desperate for a way to protect herself and her daughters. Then one night, during a red moon, the gods granted her wish. They gave her the ability to harness her emotions, to transform into a powerful mystical beast. She was able to fend off bandits, protect her village, and save her family from ruin. Sun Yee passed this gift to her daughters, for when they came of age. ''[back to reality]'' And they passed it to theirs. But over time, our family chose to come to a new world. And what was a blessing became… an inconvenience.
:'''Panda Meilin''': ''[looks at the tapestry of Sun Yee, shocked]'' Are…you… ''[with her eyes turning red with rage]'' '''SERIOUS?!''' ''[angrily tries to rip it apart as her parents try holding her back]''
:'''Jin''': NO!
:'''Ming''': Mei-Mei, NO!
:'''Panda Meilin''': IT'S A CURSE!
:'''Ming''': She meant it as a blessing!
:'''Panda Meilin''': YOU CURSED US! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
:'''Ming''': Mei-Mei, stop! Listen to me! Listen! There's a cure!
:'''Panda Meilin''': ''[calms down, letting go of her anger]'' Really? How do you know?
:'''Ming''': Because, it happened to me.
:'''Panda Meilin''': Why didn't you warn me?
:'''Ming''': I thought I had more time! You're just a child. I thought, if I watched you like a hawk, I'd see the signs and be able to prepare. But it's going to be fine. I overcame it and you will too. On the next red moon, you'll undergo a ritual that will seal your red panda spirit into one of these. ''[holds up her panda necklace]'' And then you'll be cured for good. Just like me. But any strong emotion will release the panda. And the more you release it, the more difficult the ritual will be. There is a darkness to the panda, Mei-Mei. You only have ''one'' chance to banish it, and you cannot fail. Otherwise, you'll never be free.
:'''Jin''': ''[looking through the May 2002 calendar]'' Let's see, the next red moon will be the 25th.
:'''Panda Meilin''': That's a whole month away.
:'''Ming''': We'll wait it out together. And I'll be with you every step of the way.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Meilin''': So, now that that's settled, I just have one teeny-tiny favor to ask.
:''[Later that evening…]''
:'''Ming''': No. Absolutely not.
:'''Meilin''': WHAT?! But this is once in a lifetime.
:'''Ming''': Mei-Mei, it's one thing to stay calm at home or school, but a concert? You'll get whipped up into a frenzy and panda all over the place.
:'''Meilin''': I won't, I won't! I promise! You saw me keep it in!
:'''Jin''': Ming, maybe we should trust her.
:'''Ming''': It's ''them'' I don't trust. Look at those glittery delinquents with their… ''[shudders in disgust]'' Gyrations. Why on earth do you want to go so badly?
:'''Meilin''': ''[imagines herself and her friends having fun there, chugging soda, and Robaire proposing to her; back to reality]'' Like I said, I just want to broaden my musical horizons.
:'''Ming''': This isn't music. This is filth. And it's not worth jeopardizing your life over. Right, Jin?
:'''Jin''': Uh…
:'''Ming''': See? Your father agrees. No concert, and that's final.
:'''Meilin''': ''[inhales sharply with a sharped smile]'' Okay, well, thanks for listening. Good night. ''[picks up her 4*Town CDs and radio, and walks to her room with an annoyed scoff]''
:'''Ming''': What was that? Am I the only one who sees the danger here? There's no way she could keep her panda in. And $200? For what?! Who do they think they are? [[w:Celine Dion|Celine Dion]]? ''[the phone rings and Jin gets up to answer it]'' Hmm. Unbelievable. I saw that look. Where did she get that from? Treating her own mother like that.
:'''Jin''': Hold on. Ming, it's your mother.
:'''Ming''': ''[terrified]'' I'm not here! ''[lays down sideways on the couch in a fetal position, takes the phone out of Jin's hand and answers her mother, whose calling from Florida on speaker; nervously]'' Mother. Hello. How's everything in Florida?
:'''Grandma Wu''': ''[while putting makeup on]'' Ming. I know about Mei-Mei.
:'''Ming''': I was just about to call you, but everything's fine. ''[hesitantly]'' I'm gonna handle the ritual on my own.
:'''Grandma Wu''': ''[scoffs as she puts lipstick on]'' The way you &quot;handled&quot; Mei-Mei being on the news?
:'''Ming''': No one knows anything. They barely saw her!
:'''Grandma Wu''': I'm on my way… with reinforcements.
:'''Ming''': NO, I CAN HANDLE IT! I CAN… ''[Grandma Wu hangs up]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Meilin''': That presentation was bomb.com. I cited all my sources. I had sparklers, and she still said no!
:'''Priya''': My parents said I could go when I'm 30.
:'''Abby''': Mine called it stripper music. What's wrong with that?!
:'''Miriam''': Mine said yes, but I have to ''buy'' the ticket. Who the heck's got that kind of cash?
:'''Meilin''': I know my mom's worried, but sometimes she's just so… So…
:'''Miriam''': Wacko?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Grandma Wu''': Mei-Mei, can I have a word with you?
:'''Meilin''': Uh, sure. What's up?
:'''Grandma Wu''': ''[takes a folded cloth out behind her back and unfolds it, revealing a piece of red panda fur]'' I found this. Strange for a girl who hasn't let her panda out.
:'''Meilin''': It's, uh… ''[chuckles nervously]'' It's not mine.
:'''Grandma Wu''': Mei-Mei, I know what you're doing. I know how hard it is to keep the beast in. It feels so good to let it out. So free, but each time you do, the stronger it gets. And then you'll be bound to it forever, and the ritual will fail. 
:'''Meilin''': Has that ever happened?
:'''Grandma Wu''': It ''cannot'' happen. ''[sighs]'' Your mother and I were close once, but the red panda took that away. I couldn't bear to see that happen to you. So, no more panda. You are your mother's whole world, Mei-Mei. I know you'll do what's right.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Tyler''': You want your money? Then get your butt down here now!
:'''Panda Meilin''': Forget your money, and forget ''you!''
:'''Miriam''': Mei! Let's just go!
:'''Tyler''': What about our deal?!
:'''Panda Meilin''': SHOVE YOUR DEAL!
:'''Tyler''': Fine! Get out of here! Go back to your psycho mom and your creepy temple, you freak!
:'''Panda Meilin''': ''[growls lividly and jumps off the roof, attacking him]'' '''TAKE IT BACK! DON'T TALK ABOUT MY FAMILY LIKE THAT!'''
:'''Miriam''': ''[shocked]'' Mei, you're hurting him! 
:'''Panda Meilin''': '''I HATE YOU!! I HATE-!!'''
:'''Ming''': ''[showing up]'' Mei-Mei, STOP! What is going on here?!
:'''Tyler''': ''[sobbing]'' I'm sorry. Just get off of me, please.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Tyler's Mom''': She is an animal!
:'''Tyler's Dad''': ''[to everyone]'' Alright, party's over! Everyone go home!?
:'''Tyler''': Dad. I won't happen again?!
:'''Tyler's Dad''': ''[to Tyler]'' No, Tyler, I'm so sorry.
:'''Ming''': ''[to Miriam, Priya, and Abby, sharply]'' I can't believe you girls would use her like this!
:'''Miriam''': What?
:'''Priya''': But we didn't.
:'''Abby''': No, we'd never.
:'''Meilin''': What?
:'''Ming''': I ''knew'' you were trouble. Putting all these thoughts into Mei-Mei's head, parading her around. Now she's lying, sneaking out. She attacked a defenseless boy! You think this is a joke? Do you know how dangerous this is?
:'''Miriam''': We didn't mean to, we just wanted to see 4*Town.
:'''Ming''': 4*Town! You manipulated her for a bunch of tacky delinquents?!
:'''Miriam''': No! She wanted to…
:'''Ming''': *Don't* you blame her! She is a good girl, and you've taken advantage of her!
:'''Miriam''': Mei, tell her!
:''[Meilin looks up at her mother as she looks down to her, buries her face in her chest, refusing to tell]''
:'''Priya''': What?
:'''Abby''': Dude!
:'''Ming''': Come on, Mei-Mei. Let's go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Meilin''': ''[as her father enters her room]'' Hey, Dad. I… I'm almost ready.
:'''Jin''': ''[shows her the recorded footage of her in her panda form and her friends having fun]'' Did you make this?
:'''Meilin''': Here, I'll erase it. What? We were just being stupid. The panda's dangerous, outta control.
:'''Jin''': Huh. You sound like your mother. What has she told about ''her'' panda?
:'''Meilin''': ''[sighs]'' Nothing. She won't talk about it.
:'''Jin''': It was quite destructive. ''[chuckles]'' And big. She almost took out half the temple.
:'''Meilin''': You… you saw it?
:'''Jin''': Only once. She and your grandma had a terrible fight.
:'''Meilin''': Over what?
:'''Jin''': ''[points to himself]'' Your grandma didn't approve of me, but you should've seen your mom. She was incredible.
:'''Meilin''': But, I'm a monster.
:'''Jin''': ''[sighs]'' People have all kinds of sides to them, Mei, and some sides are messy. The point isn't to push the bad stuff away. It's to make room for it, live with it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Abby''': Mei!
:'''Miriam''': Mei!
:'''Abby''': You're here!
:'''Miriam''': What are you doing here?
:'''Meilin''': I couldn't do it. The panda's a part of me, and you guys are too.
:'''Miriam''': Mei, you threw us under the bus.
:'''Meilin''': I know and I'm sorry. I've been like, obsessed with my mom's approval my whole life. I couldn't take losing it, but…losing you guys feels even worse.
:'''Miriam''': Well, too bad. 'Cause you did.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Miriam''': Your mom must've gone nuclear.
:'''Meilin''': Who cares, what's she gonna do? Ground me?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Robaire''': Toronto! Who knows what's up?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jin''': Mei!
:'''Meilin''': Dad?
:'''Grandma Wu''': We have to save your mother!
:'''Chen''': She's gone ''loco!''
:'''Jin''': Mei, we have to the ritual again!
:'''Meilin''': What happened?! She's ''HUGE!''
:'''Jin''': I told you, she was '''big!'''
:'''Meilin''': '''''THAT'' BIG?!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Panda Meilin''': ''[angrily]'' I'm ''not'' your little Mei-Mei anymore! I ''LIED'', Mom!
:'''Panda Ming''': WHAT?
:'''Panda Meilin''': It was ''my'' idea to hustle the panda. ''My'' idea to go to Tyler's party! It was all ME! I like boys! I like loud music! I like gyrating! '''I'M 13! DEAL WITH IT!!!!'''
:''[After a moment, Panda Ming growls incredibly livid over being lied to and lets out a loud enraged roar]''
:'''Grandma Wu''': The ritual. ''[claps her hands]'' Everyone in position! Mei-Mei, keep her busy!
:'''Panda Meilin''': Oh, I'll keep her busy.
:'''Grandma Wu''': Where's Jin? JIN!
:'''Jin''': ''[pushing the dry line marker around Panda Ming to make the ritual circle; panting]'' Mei, keep her in the circle!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Meilin''': ''[fighting Panda Ming while poofing into her red panda form and her human self]'' All I wanted… was to go to a &lt;big&gt;'''''CONCERT!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Panda Ming''': &lt;big&gt;I never went to concerts! I put my family first! I tried to be a good daughter!&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Meilin''': ''[growls fiercely]'' Well, sorry I'm not perfect, sorry I'm not good enough, and sorry '''I'LL NEVER BE LIKE YOU!''' ''[flies directly at her and headbutts her between the eyes, knocking her out unconscious]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Grandma Wu''': Sun Yee, give me strength. ''[takes off her panda bracelet and throws it on the ground, breaking it, poofs into her panda form, and rushes over to help her granddaughter]'' Pull, Mei-Mei!
:'''Panda Meilin''': Grandma?
:'''Grandma Panda Wu''': I am ''not'' losing my daughter! ''[to the aunties]'' Don't just stand there!
:''[The aunties rush over to them while taking off and shattering their trinkets, poofing into their red panda forms]''
:'''Panda Chen''': Make room for your elders, Mei-Mei!
:'''Panda Meilin''': What?
:'''Panda Ping''': We're with you!
:'''Panda Meilin''': But what are you doing? What if you can't turn back?!
:'''Panda Helen''': Your mom needs us!
:'''Panda Lily''': She's family!
:'''Grandma Panda Wu''': Less talking, more pulling!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Young Ming''': ''[sobbing hysterically]'' I'm sorry. It's all my fault.
:'''Meilin''': What happened?
:'''Young Ming''': I… I hurt her!
:'''Meilin''': (Her) Who?
:'''Young Ming''': My mom! I got so angry and I lost control! I'm just so sick of being perfect! I'm never gonna be good enough for her… Or anyone.
:'''Meilin''': I know it feels that way. Like, all the time. But it isn't true.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ming''': ''[sighs as Grandma Wu hugs her]'' I'm sorry.
:'''Grandma Wu''': Shh. You don't have to apologize. I'm your mother. ''[to Meilin; sighs]'' May Sun Yee guide you and keep your safe. One at a time, ladies. And quickly.
:'''Chen''': That's it? Mei-Mei's keeping the panda?
:'''Helen''': It's her life. Now move.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ming''': Mei-Mei, please. Just come with me.
:'''Meilin''': ''[nodding no]'' I'm changing, Mom. I'm finally figuring out who I am, but… ''[gasps softly; sadly]'' I'm scared it'll take me away from you.
:'''Ming''': Me too. I see you, Mei-Mei. You try to make everyone happy, but are so hard on yourself. And if I taught you that… I'm sorry. So ''don't'' hold back… for anyone. The farther you go, the prouder I'll be.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Meilin''': ''[with her panda ears and tail]'' Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad!
:'''Ming''': ''[halts her daughter]'' Hold on. You're not going out like that, are you?
:'''Meilin''': ''[scoffs]'' My panda, my choice, Mom. ''[chuckles]'' I'll be back before dinner, okay?
:'''Ming''': ''[sighs]'' Fine. Oh, um… You're welcome to join us.
:'''Miriam''': ''[gasps]'' For Mr. Lee's cooking? ''[in unison with Priya]'' Uh, yeah!
:'''Priya''': ''[in unison with Miriam]'' We are so there.
:'''Ming''': Don't load up on junk.

== About ''Turning Red'' ==
* Set in Toronto between 2002 and 2003, ''Turning Red'' centers around Meilin &quot;Mei&quot; Lee, a 13-year-old [[w:Chinese Canadians|Chinese-Canadian]]. One morning, she is horrified to discover that whenever she gets too excited or stressed, she poofs into an eight-foot-tall red panda, but can turn back, if calm. Soon Mei later learns that her ancestors have a shared history with the species as a family curse. Soon she must try maintain her new lifestyle as a teenager. &lt;ref name=&quot;Upcoming&quot;&gt;{{Cite web |title=Upcoming – Turning Red |url=https://www.pixar.com/upcoming |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20210130084744/https://www.pixar.com/upcoming |archive-date=January 30, 2021 |access-date=July 13, 2021 |website=Pixar}}&lt;/ref&gt;

==Voice cast==
* Rosalie Chiang as Meilin &quot;Mei&quot; Lee
:: Ming and Jin's daughter / Wu's granddaughter

* [[w:Sandra Oh|Sandra Oh]] as Ming Lee
:: Mei's mother / Jin's wife / Wu's daughter

* Orion Lee as Jin Lee
:: Mei's father / Ming's husband / Wu's son-in-law

* Ava Morse as Miriam

* Maitreyi Ramakrishnan as Priya

* Hyein Park as Abbey

* Wai Ching Ho as Wu
:: Ming's mother / Mei's grandmother / Jin's mother-in-law

* Tristan Allerick Chen as Tyler

* Addy Chandler as Devon

* [[w:James Hong|James Hong]] as Mr. Gao

==External links==
* {{imdb title|8097030|Turning Red}}
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:Canadian animated films]]
[[Category:Chinese animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]
[[Category:Animated coming-of-age films]]
[[Category:Films set in Canada]]
[[Category:Streaming films]]</text>
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'''''{{W|Turning Red}}''''' is a 2022 American &lt;!--Do NOT add Canadian. Even though the movie was set in Canada, it was developed and produced by an American studio.--&gt;[[w:Computer animation|computer-animated]] [[w:Coming-of-age film|coming-of-age]] [[w:Fantasy-comedy|fantasy comedy film]] produced by [[w:Pixar|Pixar Animation Studios]] and for distribution by [[w:Walt Disney Pictures|Walt Disney Pictures]]. It was released on [[w:Disney+|Disney+]] on March 11, 2022 and then DVD, Blu-ray &amp; 4K on May 3, 2022. It is directed by Domee Shi (academy award short, &quot;Bao&quot;) in her feature directorial debut, from a screenplay written by herself and [[Julia Cho]]. The film stars the voices of Rosalie Chiang, [[w:Sandra Oh|Sandra Oh]], Ava Morse, Maitreyi Ramakrishnan, Hyein Park, Orion Lee, Wai Ching Ho and [[w:James Hong|James Hong]]. It is the first Pixar film to be solely directed by a woman, the first to take place in Canada, and the second to feature an Asian lead character after ''[[w:Up (2009 film)|Up]]''.

==Meilin &quot;Mei&quot; Lee/Panda Meilin==
* ''[first lines of the film]'' The number one rule in my family? Honor your parents. They're the supreme beings who gave you life who sweated and sacrificed so much to put a roof over your head, food on your plate, an ''epic'' amount of food. The least you can do in return is every single thing they ask. 'Course some people are like, &quot;Be careful. Honoring your parents sounds great, but if you take it too far, well, you might forget to honor yourself.&quot; ''[the scene cuts to her in close-up; to the viewers]'' Luckily, I don't have that problem. I'm Meilin Lee. And ever since I turned 13, I've been doin' my own thing, makin' my own moves; 24/7, 365. I wear what I want, say what I want, and I will not hesitate to do a spontaneous cartwheel if I feel so moved!
* Not to brag, but being 13 means I'm officially a grown-up. At least according to the Toronto Transit Commission.
* All about that hustle, am I right?
* Jesse went to art school. Tae Young fosters injured doves. Robaire speaks French. And Aaron T. and Aaron Z. are, like, really talented too. We are 4*Townies, remember? Ride or die!
* Okay. I know what it looks like. I ''am'' my own person, but that doesn't mean doing whatever I want. Like most adults, I have responsibilities. It's not all about me, you know? I do make my own moves, it's just that… some of my moves are also ''hers.''
* ''Don't look at the notebook, don't look at the notebook, don't!''
* You sicko! What we're you thinking?! Why would you draw those things? Those horrible, awful, sexy things?! ''[walking back and forth]'' It's fine. You'll move to another city, change your identity. ''[muffledly yells under her bed; weeping tearfully to a photo frame of her and Ming]'' Mommy, I'm so sorry! ''[to her reflection, angrily]'' You are pride and joy, so ACT LIKE IT!
* I'm a gross red monster! ''[sobs]'' Stop it! STOP TALKING!
* AWOOGA!
* Don't look at me! Stay back!
* I hate this! I'm slobby, I'm smelly… my mom won't even look at me…and now 4*Town?! When are they coming? ''('''Abby:''' May 18th. They just announced it.)'' The 18th?! There's no way this will be gone by then! Just go! Go become women without me! ''('''Miriam:''' Mei, it's gonna be okay.)'' No, it's not. I'm a freak. Just… ''[sighs]'' Just leave me alone.
* ''('''Ming:''' How is this possible? What happened to your panda?)'' It's easy. When I start to get emotional, all I do is imagine the people I love most in the whole world. Which is you guys.
* We ''need'' to see this concert! Why doesn't my mom get that? I never ask for anything. My whole life, I've been her perfect little Mei-Mei. Temple duties, grades… ''('''Abby:''' Violin!) ('''Priya:''' Tap dancing.'')'' ''Yeah. We've been ''so'' good. If they don't trust us anyway, then what's the point?'' ('''Miriam:''' Wow. Who are you? I love it.) ('''Abby:''' FIGHT THE POWER!)
* Hey, Tyler! You want the panda? You're ''getting'' the panda! Let's hear it for the birthday boy!
* I can't be like this forever. My whole family would freak. Especially my mom. All her hopes and dreams are pinned on me.
* I can't miss 4*Town! We worked so hard! But the ritual. I'll let everyone down!
* ''[lividly attacking Tyler in her red panda form]'' TAKE IT BACK! DON'T TALK ABOUT MY FAMILY LIKE THAT! I HATE YOU!!!
* The panda's dangerous… outta control.
* I'm keeping it.
* ''[seeing that Tyler's a fan of 4*Town]'' ''You'' are a 4*Townie?!
* ''[while fighting Panda Ming]'' Well, sorry I'm not perfect, sorry I'm not good enough, and sorry... ''[flies with rage]'' '''I'LL NEVER BE LIKE ''YOU!'''''
* I'm changing, Mom. I'm finally figuring out who I am, but… I'm scared it'll take me away from you.
* ''[to Sun Yee]'' I'm not going to regret this, am I?
* I'm Meilin Lee, and ever since I turned 13, life's been ''a lot''. People still talk about Pandapocalypse 2002. Mom and I just call it growing pains.
* What? Mr. Gao had to put her panda in something. You should see Grandma's.
* My panda, my choice, Mom.
* Sometimes, I miss how things were, but… Nothing stays the same forever. We've all got an inner beast. We've all got a messy, loud, weird part of ourselves hidden away. And a lot of us never let it out. But I did. How 'bout you?
* ''[trailer]'' My whole life, I've been perfect little Mei-Mei… but maybe I ''like'' this new me.

==Ming Lee/Panda Ming==
* Sun Yee, revered ancestor, guardian of the red pandas, we humbly thank you for protecting and guiding us. Especially Mei-Mei.
* Who are these hip-hoppers? And why are they called &quot;4*Town&quot; if there are five of them?
* The Daisy Mart has lost a loyal customer today.
* Tell him you forgot your PADS!
* As you know, our ancestor Sun Yee had a mystical connection with red pandas. In fact, she loved them so much that she asked the gods to turn her into one. ''[narrating]'' It was wartime. The men were all gone. Sun Yee was desperate for a way to protect herself and her daughters. Then one night, during a red moon, the gods granted her wish. They gave her the ability to harness her emotions, to transform into a powerful mystical beast. She was able to fend off bandits, protect her village, and save her family from ruin. Sun Yee passed this gift to her daughters, for when they came of age. And they passed it to theirs. But over time, our family chose to come to a new world. And what was a blessing became… an inconvenience.
* This is awful. What are we gonna do? ''('''Jin:''' Don't worry. We'll get through this.) No one'' can see her like this. I never wanted this for her. Did you see how she was in the temple?
* This isn't music. This is filth. And it's not worth jeopardizing your life over.
* What was that? Am I the only one who sees the danger here? There's no way she could keep her panda in, and $200 for what?! Who do they think they are, [[w:Celine Dion|Celine Dion]]? Hmm. Unbelievable. I saw that look. Where did she get that from? Treating her own mother like that.
* You think is a joke? Do you know how dangerous this is?!
* You can do it! Keep going!
* How could she? ''[growls as her sadness turns to rage]'' How could she do this to…her own '''''mother?!''' [her talisman necklace breaks, releasing her red panda spirit as it merges into her body; everyone steps back in horror as she rises with her eyes glowing red with fury] &lt;big&gt;'''MEI-MEI!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
* ''[angrily picks up Mei with her giant paw]'' &lt;big&gt;You are in '''''big''''' trouble, young lady!&lt;/big&gt; ''('''Meilin:''' Mom, let go!)'' &lt;big&gt;I'm shutting this down, RIGHT NOW! Everyone, GO HOME! Where are your parents? Put some clothes on!&lt;/big&gt;
* &lt;big&gt;You think you're so mature! Lying to me! Blaming me! How could be so, so… '''''CRASS?!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
* I see you, Mei-Mei. You try to make everyone happy, but are so hard on yourself. And if I taught you that…I'm sorry. So, ''don't'' hold back. For anyone. The farther you go, the prouder I'll be.
* This thing's hungry all the time. ''[starts feeding her virtual pet panda]'' Eat up, little one. Oh, you're so hungry. Munch, munch, munch.
* Hold on. You're not going out like that, are you?
* ''[last lines of the film]'' I hate her misbehavior.

==Miriam==
* ''[to Meilin]'' Panda or no panda, no matter what.
* Mei, what if you didn't do the ritual? What if you kept the panda?
* Oh, no. 4*Town's the same night as the ritual?
* Mei-Mei, you hurtin' me!

==Priya==
* Sick. I've always wanted a tail.
* Uh… This says Toledo.

==Abby==
* Let's burn this place to the ground!
* NOT FUNNY, TYLER!
* You're so fluffy, you're so fluffy!
* FIGHT THE POWER!
* WHAT THE HECK IS TOLEDO?!?

==Grandma Wu==
* ''('''Meilin:''' Hey, Grandma.)'' Poor dear. It must be so difficult keeping that unruly beast at bay. Your family is here now, Mei-Mei. And we will take care of everything.
* I know how hard it is to keep the beast in. It feels so good to let it out. So free, but each time you do, the stronger it gets. And then you'll be bound to it forever, and the ritual will fail.
* Your mother and I were close once, but the red panda took that away. I couldn't bear to see that happen to you. So no more panda. I know you'll do what's right.
* Ming, this is a critical time. Mei-Mei needs a strong hand, now more than ever. ''Don't'' let her out of your sight. ''('''Ming:''' I won't, Mother.)''
* ''[sees 4*Town logos in the sky]'' What is that? ''('''Ming:''' I think it's coming from the SkyDome, Mother.)'' Four is the ''worst'' number.
* Long ago, the spirits blessed the women of our family with a great challenge. Mei-Mei, tonight is your turn. Like all the women around this table, you too will banish the beast within and finally become your true self. May Sun Yee guide you and keep you safe.
* ''[after Meilin abandons the ritual by deciding to keep her panda and dashes away to the SkyDome]'' This is a disaster! Unbelievable! Ming! How could you let this happen?! She's out of control!
* Sun Yee, give me strength. ''[transforms into her red panda]''
* ''[in her red panda form; helping her granddaughter]'' I am ''not'' losing my daughter!
* You don't have to apologize. I'm your mother.
* ''[turns to the viewers, wearing a red 4*Town necklace charm]'' So unlucky.

==Dialogue==
:'''Meilin''': Besties, assemble! Miriam!
:'''Miriam''': Huh? Hey!
:'''Meilin''': Priya!
:'''Priya''': Yo.
:'''Meilin''': Abby!
:'''Abby''': ''[shouting Korean; in English]'' Yeah! What's up, Mei?
:'''Meilin''': Ready to change the world?
:'''Miriam''': So ready!
:'''Priya''': I was born to do this.
:'''Abby''': Let's BURN THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ming''': Sun Yee, revered ancestor, guardian of the red pandas. We humbly thank you for protecting and guiding us. Especially Mei-Mei.
:'''Meilin''': May we continue to serve and honor your and this community.
:'''Both''': Always.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''TV Announcer''': You've heard their hits, you've seen their moves, and now you get to experience them live! The worldwide pop sensation 4*Town will be kicking off their North American tour! Tickets on sale now!
:'''Meilin''': ''[gasps in excitement]'' Oh, my gosh!
:'''Ming''': Who are these hip-hoppers? And why are they called &quot;4*Town&quot; if there are five of them?
:'''Meilin''': Uh… I don't know. Some of the kids at school like them.
:'''Ming''': You mean Miriam? That girl is odd.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Ming angrily pulls up at the Daisy Mart and enters after catching her daughter's drawings of her and Devon]''
:'''Tyler''': ''[laughs smugly]'' Oh, snap!
:'''Meilin''': Mom, no!
:'''Ming''': ''[pointing to Devon, fiercely]'' ''You!'' What have you done to my Mei-Mei?!
:'''Devon''': Uh, who?
:'''Tyler''': Meilin Lee, right here. ''[points to Meilin, who's standing next to him]''
:'''Ming''': I should report you to the police. How old are you? 30?!
:'''Devon''': I'm 17.
:'''Ming''': See, see? This is what happens when you don't wear sunblock and do drugs all day! She's just a sweet, innocent child. How dare you take advantage of her! ''[takes out Meilin's drawings and throws them on the counter]''
:'''Meilin''': Mom! NO!!! ''[echoes]''
:'''Devon''': What?!
:''[Everyone gasps at Meilin's drawings and start laughing at her]''
:'''Tyler''': ''[laughs]'' What a weirdo! ''[mocks their kissing]''
:'''Ming''': The Daisy Mart has lost a loyal customer today. ''[leaves the store with her daughter, looking humiliated and embarrassed; sighs with exasperation]'' Thank goodness I was here. That degenerate won't come near you again. Now, is there anything else I should know about, Mei-Mei?
:'''Meilin''': Nope. All good. ''[cut to her in her bedroom, buries her face in a pillow, muffled screaming; breathes heavily]'' You sicko! What were you thinking?! Why would you draw those things? Those horrible, awful, sexy things!? ''[pacing back and forth]'' It's fine. You'll move to another city, change your identity. ''[muffledly yells under her bed; weeping tearfully to a photo frame of her and Ming]'' Mommy, I'm so sorry! ''[to her reflection, angrily]'' You are pride and joy, so ACT LIKE IT! ''[slaps herself; rips the drawings out of her notebook and throws them in the trash can; to her reflection]'' This will never happen again.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Panda Meilin''': Wake up, wake up, wake up!
:'''Ming''': ''[knocking on the bathroom door]'' Mei-Mei, is everything okay?
:'''Panda Meilin''': ''[panicking]'' DON'T COME IN HERE!
:'''Ming''': Mei-Mei, what's going on, honey? Are you sick? Is it a fever? A stomach ache? Chills? Constipation?
:'''Panda Meilin''': No!
:'''Ming''': Wait. Is it… that? Did the… Did the red peony bloom?
:'''Panda Meilin''': No! …Maybe?
:'''Ming''': ''[gasps]'' But it's too soon. Don't worry, Mei-Mei. I'll get everything you need. Mommy's here. Jin. Jin! It's happening!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ming''': Mei-Mei, I know this is upsetting, but we are going to get through this together. I have ibuprofen, vitamin B, a hot water bottle, and pads. Regular, overnight, scented, unscented, thin, ultra-thin, ultra-thin with wings…
:'''Panda Meilin''': Uh-huh. All right. Awesome. Just leave them by the sink.
:'''Ming''': Mei-Mei. Perhaps we should talk about why this is happening.
:'''Panda Meilin''': No! I mean… nah, it's okay. 
:'''Ming''': You are a woman now. And your body is starting to change.
:'''Panda Meilin''': ''[muffled]'' Mmm-hmm. 
:'''Ming''': It's nothing to be embarrassed about.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ming''': ''[pulling up at the middle school, dropping her daughter off]'' I know it feels strange, Mei-Mei, but I promise, nobody will notice a thing.
:'''Meilin''': Thank you for your concern, Mother. But I'll be fine.
:'''Ming''': Well, here's your lunch. I packed extra snacks. And herbal tea. For cramps. It helps relax your…
:'''Meilin''': I got it. Thank you. Bye!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ming''': ''[takes a compartment chest out of the wall behind the tapestry of Sun Yee; sighs]'' As you know, our ancestor, Sun Yee had a mystical connection with red pandas. ''[opens the chest and takes out a scroll]'' In fact, she loved them so much that she asked the gods to turn her into one. ''[opens the scroll with a story; narrating]'' It was wartime. The men were all gone. Sun Yee was desperate for a way to protect herself and her daughters. Then one night, during a red moon, the gods granted her wish. They gave her the ability to harness her emotions, to transform into a powerful mystical beast. She was able to fend off bandits, protect her village, and save her family from ruin. Sun Yee passed this gift to her daughters, for when they came of age. ''[back to reality]'' And they passed it to theirs. But over time, our family chose to come to a new world. And what was a blessing became… an inconvenience.
:'''Panda Meilin''': ''[looks at the tapestry of Sun Yee, shocked]'' Are…you… ''[with her eyes turning red with rage]'' '''SERIOUS?!''' ''[angrily tries to rip it apart as her parents try holding her back]''
:'''Jin''': NO!
:'''Ming''': Mei-Mei, NO!
:'''Panda Meilin''': IT'S A CURSE!
:'''Ming''': She meant it as a blessing!
:'''Panda Meilin''': YOU CURSED US! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
:'''Ming''': Mei-Mei, stop! Listen to me! Listen! There's a cure!
:'''Panda Meilin''': ''[calms down, letting go of her anger]'' Really? How do you know?
:'''Ming''': Because, it happened to me.
:'''Panda Meilin''': Why didn't you warn me?
:'''Ming''': I thought I had more time! You're just a child. I thought, if I watched you like a hawk, I'd see the signs and be able to prepare. But it's going to be fine. I overcame it and you will too. On the next red moon, you'll undergo a ritual that will seal your red panda spirit into one of these. ''[holds up her panda necklace]'' And then you'll be cured for good. Just like me. But any strong emotion will release the panda. And the more you release it, the more difficult the ritual will be. There is a darkness to the panda, Mei-Mei. You only have ''one'' chance to banish it, and you cannot fail. Otherwise, you'll never be free.
:'''Jin''': ''[looking through the May 2002 calendar]'' Let's see, the next red moon will be the 25th.
:'''Panda Meilin''': That's a whole month away.
:'''Ming''': We'll wait it out together. And I'll be with you every step of the way.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Meilin''': So, now that that's settled, I just have one teeny-tiny favor to ask.
:''[Later that evening…]''
:'''Ming''': No. Absolutely not.
:'''Meilin''': WHAT?! But this is once in a lifetime.
:'''Ming''': Mei-Mei, it's one thing to stay calm at home or school, but a concert? You'll get whipped up into a frenzy and panda all over the place.
:'''Meilin''': I won't, I won't! I promise! You saw me keep it in!
:'''Jin''': Ming, maybe we should trust her.
:'''Ming''': It's ''them'' I don't trust. Look at those glittery delinquents with their… ''[shudders in disgust]'' Gyrations. Why on earth do you want to go so badly?
:'''Meilin''': ''[imagines herself and her friends having fun there, chugging soda, and Robaire proposing to her; back to reality]'' Like I said, I just want to broaden my musical horizons.
:'''Ming''': This isn't music. This is filth. And it's not worth jeopardizing your life over. Right, Jin?
:'''Jin''': Uh…
:'''Ming''': See? Your father agrees. No concert, and that's final.
:'''Meilin''': ''[inhales sharply with a sharped smile]'' Okay, well, thanks for listening. Good night. ''[picks up her 4*Town CDs and radio, and walks to her room with an annoyed scoff]''
:'''Ming''': What was that? Am I the only one who sees the danger here? There's no way she could keep her panda in. And $200? For what?! Who do they think they are? [[w:Celine Dion|Celine Dion]]? ''[the phone rings and Jin gets up to answer it]'' Hmm. Unbelievable. I saw that look. Where did she get that from? Treating her own mother like that.
:'''Jin''': Hold on. Ming, it's your mother.
:'''Ming''': ''[terrified]'' I'm not here! ''[lays down sideways on the couch in a fetal position, takes the phone out of Jin's hand and answers her mother, whose calling from Florida on speaker; nervously]'' Mother. Hello. How's everything in Florida?
:'''Grandma Wu''': ''[while putting makeup on]'' Ming. I know about Mei-Mei.
:'''Ming''': I was just about to call you, but everything's fine. ''[hesitantly]'' I'm gonna handle the ritual on my own.
:'''Grandma Wu''': ''[scoffs as she puts lipstick on]'' The way you &quot;handled&quot; Mei-Mei being on the news?
:'''Ming''': No one knows anything. They barely saw her!
:'''Grandma Wu''': I'm on my way… with reinforcements.
:'''Ming''': NO, I CAN HANDLE IT! I CAN… ''[Grandma Wu hangs up]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Meilin''': That presentation was bomb.com. I cited all my sources. I had sparklers, and she still said no!
:'''Priya''': My parents said I could go when I'm 30.
:'''Abby''': Mine called it stripper music. What's wrong with that?!
:'''Miriam''': Mine said yes, but I have to ''buy'' the ticket. Who the heck's got that kind of cash?
:'''Meilin''': I know my mom's worried, but sometimes she's just so… So…
:'''Miriam''': Wacko?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Grandma Wu''': Mei-Mei, can I have a word with you?
:'''Meilin''': Uh, sure. What's up?
:'''Grandma Wu''': ''[takes a folded cloth out behind her back and unfolds it, revealing a piece of red panda fur]'' I found this. Strange for a girl who hasn't let her panda out.
:'''Meilin''': It's, uh… ''[chuckles nervously]'' It's not mine.
:'''Grandma Wu''': Mei-Mei, I know what you're doing. I know how hard it is to keep the beast in. It feels so good to let it out. So free, but each time you do, the stronger it gets. And then you'll be bound to it forever, and the ritual will fail. 
:'''Meilin''': Has that ever happened?
:'''Grandma Wu''': It ''cannot'' happen. ''[sighs]'' Your mother and I were close once, but the red panda took that away. I couldn't bear to see that happen to you. So, no more panda. You are your mother's whole world, Mei-Mei. I know you'll do what's right.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Tyler''': You want your money? Then get your butt down here now!
:'''Panda Meilin''': Forget your money, and forget ''you!''
:'''Miriam''': Mei! Let's just go!
:'''Tyler''': What about our deal?!
:'''Panda Meilin''': SHOVE YOUR DEAL!
:'''Tyler''': Fine! Get out of here! Go back to your psycho mom and your creepy temple, you freak!
:'''Panda Meilin''': ''[growls lividly and jumps off the roof, attacking him]'' '''TAKE IT BACK! DON'T TALK ABOUT MY FAMILY LIKE THAT!'''
:'''Miriam''': ''[shocked]'' Mei, you're hurting him! 
:'''Panda Meilin''': '''I HATE YOU!! I HATE-!!'''
:'''Ming''': ''[showing up]'' Mei-Mei, STOP! What is going on here?!
:'''Tyler''': ''[sobbing]'' I'm sorry. Just get off of me, please.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Tyler's Mom''': She is an animal!
:'''Tyler's Dad''': ''[to everyone]'' Alright, party's over! Everyone go home!?
:'''Tyler''': No, Dad, I won't happen again.
:'''Tyler's Dad''': ''[to Tyler]'' Tyler, there's nothing wrong about bad.
:'''Ming''': ''[to Miriam, Priya, and Abby, sharply]'' I can't believe you girls would use her like this!
:'''Miriam''': What?
:'''Priya''': But we didn't.
:'''Abby''': No, we'd never.
:'''Meilin''': What?
:'''Ming''': I ''knew'' you were trouble. Putting all these thoughts into Mei-Mei's head, parading her around. Now she's lying, sneaking out. She attacked a defenseless boy! You think this is a joke? Do you know how dangerous this is?
:'''Miriam''': We didn't mean to, we just wanted to see 4*Town.
:'''Ming''': 4*Town! You manipulated her for a bunch of tacky delinquents?!
:'''Miriam''': No! She wanted to…
:'''Ming''': *Don't* you blame her! She is a good girl, and you've taken advantage of her!
:'''Miriam''': Mei, tell her!
:''[Meilin looks up at her mother as she looks down to her, buries her face in her chest, refusing to tell]''
:'''Priya''': What?
:'''Abby''': Dude!
:'''Ming''': Come on, Mei-Mei. Let's go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Meilin''': ''[as her father enters her room]'' Hey, Dad. I… I'm almost ready.
:'''Jin''': ''[shows her the recorded footage of her in her panda form and her friends having fun]'' Did you make this?
:'''Meilin''': Here, I'll erase it. What? We were just being stupid. The panda's dangerous, outta control.
:'''Jin''': Huh. You sound like your mother. What has she told about ''her'' panda?
:'''Meilin''': ''[sighs]'' Nothing. She won't talk about it.
:'''Jin''': It was quite destructive. ''[chuckles]'' And big. She almost took out half the temple.
:'''Meilin''': You… you saw it?
:'''Jin''': Only once. She and your grandma had a terrible fight.
:'''Meilin''': Over what?
:'''Jin''': ''[points to himself]'' Your grandma didn't approve of me, but you should've seen your mom. She was incredible.
:'''Meilin''': But, I'm a monster.
:'''Jin''': ''[sighs]'' People have all kinds of sides to them, Mei, and some sides are messy. The point isn't to push the bad stuff away. It's to make room for it, live with it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Abby''': Mei!
:'''Miriam''': Mei!
:'''Abby''': You're here!
:'''Miriam''': What are you doing here?
:'''Meilin''': I couldn't do it. The panda's a part of me, and you guys are too.
:'''Miriam''': Mei, you threw us under the bus.
:'''Meilin''': I know and I'm sorry. I've been like, obsessed with my mom's approval my whole life. I couldn't take losing it, but…losing you guys feels even worse.
:'''Miriam''': Well, too bad. 'Cause you did.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Miriam''': Your mom must've gone nuclear.
:'''Meilin''': Who cares, what's she gonna do? Ground me?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Robaire''': Toronto! Who knows what's up?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jin''': Mei!
:'''Meilin''': Dad?
:'''Grandma Wu''': We have to save your mother!
:'''Chen''': She's gone ''loco!''
:'''Jin''': Mei, we have to the ritual again!
:'''Meilin''': What happened?! She's ''HUGE!''
:'''Jin''': I told you, she was '''big!'''
:'''Meilin''': '''''THAT'' BIG?!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Panda Meilin''': ''[angrily]'' I'm ''not'' your little Mei-Mei anymore! I ''LIED'', Mom!
:'''Panda Ming''': WHAT?
:'''Panda Meilin''': It was ''my'' idea to hustle the panda. ''My'' idea to go to Tyler's party! It was all ME! I like boys! I like loud music! I like gyrating! '''I'M 13! DEAL WITH IT!!!!'''
:''[After a moment, Panda Ming growls incredibly livid over being lied to and lets out a loud enraged roar]''
:'''Grandma Wu''': The ritual. ''[claps her hands]'' Everyone in position! Mei-Mei, keep her busy!
:'''Panda Meilin''': Oh, I'll keep her busy.
:'''Grandma Wu''': Where's Jin? JIN!
:'''Jin''': ''[pushing the dry line marker around Panda Ming to make the ritual circle; panting]'' Mei, keep her in the circle!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Meilin''': ''[fighting Panda Ming while poofing into her red panda form and her human self]'' All I wanted… was to go to a &lt;big&gt;'''''CONCERT!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Panda Ming''': &lt;big&gt;I never went to concerts! I put my family first! I tried to be a good daughter!&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Meilin''': ''[growls fiercely]'' Well, sorry I'm not perfect, sorry I'm not good enough, and sorry '''I'LL NEVER BE LIKE YOU!''' ''[flies directly at her and headbutts her between the eyes, knocking her out unconscious]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Grandma Wu''': Sun Yee, give me strength. ''[takes off her panda bracelet and throws it on the ground, breaking it, poofs into her panda form, and rushes over to help her granddaughter]'' Pull, Mei-Mei!
:'''Panda Meilin''': Grandma?
:'''Grandma Panda Wu''': I am ''not'' losing my daughter! ''[to the aunties]'' Don't just stand there!
:''[The aunties rush over to them while taking off and shattering their trinkets, poofing into their red panda forms]''
:'''Panda Chen''': Make room for your elders, Mei-Mei!
:'''Panda Meilin''': What?
:'''Panda Ping''': We're with you!
:'''Panda Meilin''': But what are you doing? What if you can't turn back?!
:'''Panda Helen''': Your mom needs us!
:'''Panda Lily''': She's family!
:'''Grandma Panda Wu''': Less talking, more pulling!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Young Ming''': ''[sobbing hysterically]'' I'm sorry. It's all my fault.
:'''Meilin''': What happened?
:'''Young Ming''': I… I hurt her!
:'''Meilin''': (Her) Who?
:'''Young Ming''': My mom! I got so angry and I lost control! I'm just so sick of being perfect! I'm never gonna be good enough for her… Or anyone.
:'''Meilin''': I know it feels that way. Like, all the time. But it isn't true.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ming''': ''[sighs as Grandma Wu hugs her]'' I'm sorry.
:'''Grandma Wu''': Shh. You don't have to apologize. I'm your mother. ''[to Meilin; sighs]'' May Sun Yee guide you and keep your safe. One at a time, ladies. And quickly.
:'''Chen''': That's it? Mei-Mei's keeping the panda?
:'''Helen''': It's her life. Now move.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ming''': Mei-Mei, please. Just come with me.
:'''Meilin''': ''[nodding no]'' I'm changing, Mom. I'm finally figuring out who I am, but… ''[gasps softly; sadly]'' I'm scared it'll take me away from you.
:'''Ming''': Me too. I see you, Mei-Mei. You try to make everyone happy, but are so hard on yourself. And if I taught you that… I'm sorry. So ''don't'' hold back… for anyone. The farther you go, the prouder I'll be.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Meilin''': ''[with her panda ears and tail]'' Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad!
:'''Ming''': ''[halts her daughter]'' Hold on. You're not going out like that, are you?
:'''Meilin''': ''[scoffs]'' My panda, my choice, Mom. ''[chuckles]'' I'll be back before dinner, okay?
:'''Ming''': ''[sighs]'' Fine. Oh, um… You're welcome to join us.
:'''Miriam''': ''[gasps]'' For Mr. Lee's cooking? ''[in unison with Priya]'' Uh, yeah!
:'''Priya''': ''[in unison with Miriam]'' We are so there.
:'''Ming''': Don't load up on junk.

== About ''Turning Red'' ==
* Set in Toronto between 2002 and 2003, ''Turning Red'' centers around Meilin &quot;Mei&quot; Lee, a 13-year-old [[w:Chinese Canadians|Chinese-Canadian]]. One morning, she is horrified to discover that whenever she gets too excited or stressed, she poofs into an eight-foot-tall red panda, but can turn back, if calm. Soon Mei later learns that her ancestors have a shared history with the species as a family curse. Soon she must try maintain her new lifestyle as a teenager. &lt;ref name=&quot;Upcoming&quot;&gt;{{Cite web |title=Upcoming – Turning Red |url=https://www.pixar.com/upcoming |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20210130084744/https://www.pixar.com/upcoming |archive-date=January 30, 2021 |access-date=July 13, 2021 |website=Pixar}}&lt;/ref&gt;

==Voice cast==
* Rosalie Chiang as Meilin &quot;Mei&quot; Lee
:: Ming and Jin's daughter / Wu's granddaughter

* [[w:Sandra Oh|Sandra Oh]] as Ming Lee
:: Mei's mother / Jin's wife / Wu's daughter

* Orion Lee as Jin Lee
:: Mei's father / Ming's husband / Wu's son-in-law

* Ava Morse as Miriam

* Maitreyi Ramakrishnan as Priya

* Hyein Park as Abbey

* Wai Ching Ho as Wu
:: Ming's mother / Mei's grandmother / Jin's mother-in-law

* Tristan Allerick Chen as Tyler

* Addy Chandler as Devon

* [[w:James Hong|James Hong]] as Mr. Gao

==External links==
* {{imdb title|8097030|Turning Red}}
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
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  <page>
    <title>Leslie Feinberg</title>
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      <text bytes="4791" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Leslie Feinberg|Leslie Feinberg]]''' (September 1, 1949 – November 15, 2014) was an American butch [[lesbian]], [[transgender]] activist, communist and author.

{{activist-stub}}
==Quotes==
===''Transgender Warriors''===
*“I saw a devilish thing,” Spanish colonialist [[Alvar Nuñez Cabeza de Vaca]] wrote in the sixteenth century: “Sinful, heinous, perverted, nefarious, abominable, unnatural, disgusting, lewd&quot; - the language used by the colonizers to describe the acceptance of sex/gender diversity, and of same-sex love most accurately described the viewer, not the viewed. And these sensational reports about Two-Spirit people were used to further &quot;justify&quot; genocide, the theft of Native land and resources, and destruction of their cultures and religions. (p. 22)

*What was responsible for the imposition of the present-day rigid sex/gender system in North America? It is not correct to simply blame patriarchy, Chrystos stressed to me. &quot;The real word is 'colonization' and what it has done to the world. Patriarchy is a tool of colonization and exploitation of people and their lands.&quot;

===''Stone Butch Blues''===
Leslie Feinberg, ''Stone Butch Blues'', [http://www.lesliefeinberg.net/download/661/ 20th Anniversary Author Edition], 2014 [digital edition]

*Dear Theresa, I’m lying on my bed tonight missing you, my eyes all swollen, hot tears running down my face. There's a fierce summer lightning storm raging outside. Tonight I walked down streets looking for you in every woman’s face, as I have each night of this lonely exile. I’m afraid I’ll never see your laughing, teasing eyes again.
**p. 1

*I was looking at her while she was talking, thinking to myself that I’m a stranger in this woman’s eyes. She’s looking at me but she doesn't see me. Then she finally said how she hates this society for what it’s done to “women like me” who hate themselves so much they have to look and act like men. I felt myself getting flushed and my face twitched a little and I started telling her, all cool and calm, about how women like me existed since the dawn of time, before there was oppression, and how those societies respected them, and she got her very interested expression on — and besides it was time to leave.
**p. 1

*I was real proud that in all those years I never hit another butch woman. See, I loved them too, and I understood their pain and their shame because I was so much like them. I loved the lines etched in their faces and hands and the curves of their work-weary shoulders. Sometimes I looked in the mirror and wondered what I would look like when I was their age. Now I know! In their own way, they loved me too. They protected me because they knew I wasn’t a “Saturday-night butch.” The weekend butches were scared of me because I was a stone he-she. If only they had known how powerless I really felt inside! But the older butches, they knew the whole road that lay ahead of me and they wished I didn’t have to go down it because it hurt so much. When I came into the bar in drag, kind of hunched over, they told me, “Be proud of what you are,” and then they adjusted my tie sort of like you did. I was like them; they knew I didn’t have a choice. So I never fought them with my fists. We clapped each other on the back in the bars and watched each other’s backs at the factory.
**pp. 2-3

*'''[at the [[gay bar]]]''' If the music stopped and it was the cops at the door, someone plugged the music back in and we switched dance partners. Us in our suits and ties paired off with our drag queen sisters in their dresses and pumps. Hard to remember that it was illegal then for two women or two men to sway to music together. When the music ended, the butches bowed, our femme partners curtsied, and we returned to our seats, our lovers, and our drinks to await our fates.
**p. 3

*In that one moment I knew you really did understand how I felt in life. Choking on anger, feeling so powerless, unable to protect myself or those I loved most, yet fighting back again and again, unwilling to give up. I didn’t have the words to tell you this then. I just said, “It’ll be OK, it’ll be alright.”
**p. 5

==External links==
{{wikipedia-inline}}

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      <comment>Update wikistress</comment>
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      <text bytes="3935" xml:space="preserve">{{Userpage|Ilovemydoodle}}

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|text = {{ROOTPAGENAME}} is currently feeling [[w:WP:Wikipedia is failing|discouraged]] about Wikiquote and is taking an off-and-on  [[w:Wikipedia:Wikibreak|wikibreak]] due to loss of motivation. &lt;br /&gt;
Your help in cheering this user up would be appreciated.&lt;br /&gt;
They will return when their [[m:Wikistress|wikistress]] has dissipated, and their confidence in the [[w:Wikipedia:Community portal|wikicommunity]] has been restored.
&lt;br /&gt;I am discouraged due to template deletion.}}


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[[Category:Wikiquotians feeling discouraged]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Top Gun: Maverick</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>247697</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158723</id>
      <parentid>3157433</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T01:14:57Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>24.51.244.211</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Corrected context and added</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="13633" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|Top Gun: Maverick}}''''' is a [[w:2022 in film|2022 film]] and a sequel to ''[[Top Gun]]'' about Maverick's return to the United States Navy Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor program, where he must confront his past as he trains a group of younger fighter pilots, among them the son of Maverick's best friend Goose.
:''Directed by {{w|Joseph Kosinski}}. Written by {{w|Ehren Kruger}}, {{w|Eric Warren Singer}} and {{w|Christopher McQuarrie}}. Based on characters by {{w|Jim Cash}} and {{w|Jack Epps Jr.}}''

[[File:F-14 final catapult July 2006.jpg|thumb|Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.]]
[[File:NAS North Island Seal.svg|thumb|&quot;The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;Maybe so, sir. But not today.&quot;]]
[[File:Defense.gov News Photo 051201-N-5088T-001.jpg|thumb|Talk to me, Goose.]]
[[File:Legionnaire of the Legion of Merit.jpg|thumb|&quot;Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are. Captain. Why is that?&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;It's one of life's mysteries, sir.&quot;]]
[[File:2014.020.007 Award, Medal, Navy Cross (13997822835).jpg|thumb|You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back... We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.]]
[[File:F-14 breaks the sound barrier.jpg|thumb|[[Top Gun|Come on, Mav, do some of that pilot shit.]]]]

== Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell ==
* They want Mach 10? Let's give 'em Mach 10.
* ''[Piloting the Darkstar]'' Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.
* ''[Repeated line]'' Talk to me, Goose.

== LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw ==
*[[Top Gun|Come on, Mav, do some of that pilot shit.]]
* Talk to me, Dad.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Rear Admiral Chester 'Hammer' Cain''': ''[going through Maverick's service record]'' Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are...''Captain''. Why is that?
:'''Maverick''': It's one of life's mysteries, sir.
:'''Hammer''': This isn't a joke. I asked you a question.
:'''Maverick''': I'm where I belong, sir.
:'''Hammer''': Well, the Navy doesn't see it that way. Not anymore. Those planes you've been testing, Captain... one day sooner than later they won't need pilots at all. Pilots that need to eat, sleep, take a piss. ''[glares at Maverick]'' Pilots that disobey orders. All you did was buy some time for those men out there. The future is coming, and you're not in it. ''[to the Masters-at-Arms]'' Escort this man off the base. Take him to his quarters. Wait with him while he packs his gear. I want him on the road to North Island within the hour.
:'''Maverick''': North Island, sir?
:'''Hammer''': Call came in with impeccable timing just as I was driving here to ground your ass once and for all. It galls me to say it, but...for reasons known only to the Almighty and your guardian angel...you've been called back to Top Gun.
:'''Maverick''': ''[in disbelief]'' Sir?
:'''Hammer''': You are dismissed, Captain. ''[calling after Maverick as he goes to leave]'' The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.
:'''Maverick''': Maybe so, sir. But not today.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vice Admiral Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson''': I'm Vice Admiral Beau Simpson, the Air Boss. I believe you know Rear Admiral Bates.
:'''Maverick''': Warlock, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Your reputation precedes you.
:'''Maverick''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Wasn't a compliment.
:'''Maverick''': I have to admit I wasn't expecting an invitation back.
:'''Rear Admiral Solomon &quot;Warlock&quot; Bates''': They're called &quot;orders,&quot; Maverick. You two have something in common. Cyclone was first in his class back in '88. 
:'''Maverick''': Actually, sir, I finished second. Just wanted to manage expectations.
:'''Warlock''': The target: An underground uranium enrichment plant built in violation of a multilateral NATO treaty. This plant poses a direct threat to our allies in the region. The Pentagon has tasked us with assembling a strike team and taking it out, before it becomes fully operational.
:''[...]''
:'''Warlock''': What's your read, Captain?
:'''Maverick''': How soon before the plant becomes operational?
:'''Warlock''': Three weeks, maybe less.
:'''Maverick''': Well, sir, normally this would be a cakewalk for the F-35 stealth, but the GPS jamming negates that. I'd make it four F-18s, flying in pairs. That is one hell of a steep climb outta there. And even if you make it past the SAMs, it's a dogfight all the way home.
:'''Warlock''': All scenarios for which you have real-world experience.
:'''Maverick''': Not the same mission, sir. ''[looks back at the screen displaying the enrichment plant]'' No, someone's not coming back from this.
:'''Cyclone''': Can it be done or not?
:'''Maverick''': Well, it's been a while since I've flown an F-18, and I don't know who I'd trust to fly the other three, but-
:'''Warlock''': I think you misunderstand, Captain.
:'''Cyclone''': We don't want you to fly it. We want you to ''teach'' it.
:'''Maverick''': With all due respect, sir, I'm not a teacher.
:'''Cyclone''': You were a Top Gun instructor before.
:'''Maverick''': That was over 30 years ago, sir; I lasted two months. It's not where I belong.
:'''Cyclone''': Well, let me be perfectly blunt: you were not my first choice. You weren't even on a ''list''. You are here at the request of Admiral Kazansky. Now, Iceman happens to be a man I deeply admire. And he feels you still have something left to offer the Navy. What that is I can't imagine. You don't have to take this job. But let me be clear: this will be your last post, Captain. Either you fly for Top Gun, or you don't fly for the Navy ever again.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick visits Iceman]''
:'''Maverick''': Admiral. ''[sits down]'' How's my wingman?
:'''Admiral Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky''': ''[types on his computer]'' I want to talk about work.
:'''Maverick''': Let's not talk about that. Don't worry about me. What can I do for you? ''[Iceman points at the typed words.]'' Rooster is still angry with me for what I did. I thought in time he'd understand why. I hoped he'd forgive me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' There's still time.
:'''Maverick''': Less than three weeks to the mission. The kid is not ready.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' Then teach him.
:'''Maverick''': It's not about what I can give him. Ice, please. Ice, don't ask me to send someone else to die, please- don't ask me to send him. Send me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' It's time to let go.
:'''Maverick''': ''[visibly emotional]'' I don't know how. I'm not a teacher, Ice. I'm a fighter pilot. A naval aviator. It's not what I am, it's who I am. How can I teach that? Even if I could teach it, it's not what Rooster wants. It's not what the Navy wants. That's why they canned me the last time. The only reason I'm here is ''you.'' If I send him on this mission, he may never come home. And if I don't send him... he will never forgive me. Either way, I lose him forever. ''[looks again at the computer screen]'' I know.
:''[Iceman stands up and Maverick rises to meet him]''
:'''Iceman''': ''[whispering]'' The Navy...needs...Maverick. The kid...needs...Maverick. That's why I fought for you. That's why you're still here.
:'''Maverick''': ''[embraces Iceman]'' Thank you, Ice, for everything.
:'''Iceman''': One last thing. Who's the better pilot, you or me?
:'''Maverick''': ''[pauses]'' This is a nice moment, let's not ruin it. ''[they grin and laugh]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick chances upon Rooster at the ready room in the wake of Phoenix and Bob's bird strike]''
:'''Maverick''': They're keeping Phoenix and Bob in the hospital overnight for observation. They're gonna be okay.
:'''Lieutenant Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': That's good. ''[pauses]'' I've never lost a wingman.
:'''Maverick''': You're lucky. Keep flying long enough, it'll happen. There will be others.
:'''Rooster''': Easy for you to say. No wife, no kids. No one to miss you when you burn in.
:'''Maverick''': Get some sleep. ''[goes to leave]''
:'''Rooster''': Why'd you pull my papers at the [[United States Naval Academy|Academy]]? Why did you ''stand in my way?''
:'''Maverick''': You weren't ready.
:'''Rooster''': Ready for what? Huh? Ready to fly like you?
:'''Maverick''': No, ready to forget the book. Trust your instincts! Don't think, just do. [[Top Gun|You think up there, you're dead. Believe me.]]
:'''Rooster''': My dad believed in you. I'm not gonna make the same mistake. 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': There's more than one way to fly this mission.
:'''LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin''': You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back. ''[to Phoenix]'' No offense, Lieutenant.
:'''LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd''': But somehow, you always manage.
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I don't mean to criticize, you're conservative, that's all.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant...
:'''Hangman''': We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. ''[referring to Maverick]'' Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.
:'''Rooster''': What's that supposed to mean?
:'''Maverick''': Rooster...
:'''Hangman''': I can't be the only one that knows that Maverick flew with his old man.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant, that's enough.
:'''Hangman''': Or that Maverick was flying when his old man-
:''[Rooster jumps up and tries to attack Hangman; the other pilots hold him back and separate the two]''
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Rooster''': You son of a bitch!
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I'm cool, I'm cool. Hey.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Hangman''': He's not cut out for this mission.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough.
:'''Hangman''': ''[to Maverick, leaving the room]'' You know it. You know I'm right.
:'''Maverick''': You're all dismissed.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[after Maverick demonstrates that the mission he's trying to teach ''can'' be accomplished]''
:'''Cyclone''': You have put me in a difficult position, Captain. On the one hand, you have demonstrated that this mission can be flown, perhaps the only way it can be survived. On the other hand, you did it by stealing a multi-million dollar military aircraft and flying it in such a manner that it may never be airworthy again. Iceman is no longer here to protect you. I have everything I need to have you court-martialed and dishonorably discharged. So what do I do? Risk the lives of my pilots and perhaps the success of this mission? Or risk my career by appointing you team leader?
:'''Maverick''': Sir...
:'''Warlock''': I think the Admiral is asking a rhetorical question, Captain.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Having spent all ammo shooting down two fifth-generation fighters, Maverick and Rooster are stunned that a third plane is moving to attack - until it is shot down just as it's about to launch a missile that would certainly kill them]''
:'''Hangman''': ''[on radio]'' Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, this is your savior speaking. Please fasten your seat belts, return the tray tables to their locked and upright positions and prepare for landing.
:'''Rooster''': Hey, Hangman, you look good.
:'''Hangman''': I ''am'' good, Rooster. I'm ''very good''. I'll see you back on deck.

== Cast ==
* [[Tom Cruise]] - Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell 
* {{w|Miles Teller}} - LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw
* {{w|Jennifer Connelly}} - Penelope 'Penny' Benjamin
* {{w|John Hamm}} - Vice Adm. Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson
* {{w|Glen Powell}} - LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin
* {{w|Lewis Pullman}} - LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd
* {{w|Ed Harris}} - Rear Adm. Chester 'Hammer' Cain
* [[Val Kilmer]] - Adm. Tom 'Iceman' Kazanski
* {{w|Monica Barbaro}} - LT Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace
* {{w|Charles Parnell}} - Rear Adm. Solomon 'Warlock' Bates
* {{w|Jay Ellis}} - LT Reuben 'Payback' Fitch
* {{w|Danny Ramirez}} - LT Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia
* [[w:Greg Davis (actor)|Greg Tarzan Davis]] - LT Javy 'Coyote' Machado
* {{w|Manny Jacinto}} - LT Billy 'Fritz' Avalone
* Jack Schumacher - LT Neil 'Omaha' Vikander
* {{w|Bashir Salahuddin}} - CWO4 Bernie 'Hondo' Coleman
* {{w|Jake Picking}} - LT Brigham 'Harvard' Lennox
* [[w:Raymond Lee (actor)|Raymond Lee]] - LT Logan 'Yale' Lee
* Kara Wang - LT Callie 'Halo' Bassett
* {{w|Lyliana Wray}} - Amelia Benjamin
* {{w|Jean Louisa Kelly}} - Sarah Kazanski
* {{w|Chelsea Harris}} - Flag Aide Angela Burke
* [[w:Bob Stephenson (actor)|Bob Stephenson]] - Senior Engineer
* {{w|Anthony Edwards}} - LTJG Nick 'Goose' Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}
* {{w|Meg Ryan}} - Carol Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{imdb title|id=1745960|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=top_gun_maverick|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Action films]]
[[Category:Adventure films]]
[[Category:Drama films]]
[[Category:Airplane films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Films set in California]]</text>
      <sha1>bq3ammabmgik6chnt1cw4wl6wz1vol5</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158724</id>
      <parentid>3158723</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T01:15:40Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>24.51.244.211</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="13632" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|Top Gun: Maverick}}''''' is a [[w:2022 in film|2022 film]] and a sequel to ''[[Top Gun]]'' about Maverick's return to the United States Navy Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor program, where he must confront his past as he trains a group of younger fighter pilots, among them the son of Maverick's best friend Goose.
:''Directed by {{w|Joseph Kosinski}}. Written by {{w|Ehren Kruger}}, {{w|Eric Warren Singer}} and {{w|Christopher McQuarrie}}. Based on characters by {{w|Jim Cash}} and {{w|Jack Epps Jr.}}''

[[File:F-14 final catapult July 2006.jpg|thumb|Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.]]
[[File:NAS North Island Seal.svg|thumb|&quot;The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;Maybe so, sir. But not today.&quot;]]
[[File:Defense.gov News Photo 051201-N-5088T-001.jpg|thumb|Talk to me, Goose.]]
[[File:Legionnaire of the Legion of Merit.jpg|thumb|&quot;Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are. Captain. Why is that?&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;It's one of life's mysteries, sir.&quot;]]
[[File:2014.020.007 Award, Medal, Navy Cross (13997822835).jpg|thumb|You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back... We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.]]
[[File:F-14 breaks the sound barrier.jpg|thumb|[[Top Gun|Come on, Mav, do some of that pilot shit.]]]]

== Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell ==
* They want Mach 10? Let's give 'em Mach 10.
* ''[Piloting the Darkstar]'' Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.
* ''[Repeated line]'' Talk to me, Goose.

== LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw ==
*[[Top Gun|Come on Mav, do some of that pilot shit!]]
* Talk to me, Dad.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Rear Admiral Chester 'Hammer' Cain''': ''[going through Maverick's service record]'' Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are...''Captain''. Why is that?
:'''Maverick''': It's one of life's mysteries, sir.
:'''Hammer''': This isn't a joke. I asked you a question.
:'''Maverick''': I'm where I belong, sir.
:'''Hammer''': Well, the Navy doesn't see it that way. Not anymore. Those planes you've been testing, Captain... one day sooner than later they won't need pilots at all. Pilots that need to eat, sleep, take a piss. ''[glares at Maverick]'' Pilots that disobey orders. All you did was buy some time for those men out there. The future is coming, and you're not in it. ''[to the Masters-at-Arms]'' Escort this man off the base. Take him to his quarters. Wait with him while he packs his gear. I want him on the road to North Island within the hour.
:'''Maverick''': North Island, sir?
:'''Hammer''': Call came in with impeccable timing just as I was driving here to ground your ass once and for all. It galls me to say it, but...for reasons known only to the Almighty and your guardian angel...you've been called back to Top Gun.
:'''Maverick''': ''[in disbelief]'' Sir?
:'''Hammer''': You are dismissed, Captain. ''[calling after Maverick as he goes to leave]'' The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.
:'''Maverick''': Maybe so, sir. But not today.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vice Admiral Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson''': I'm Vice Admiral Beau Simpson, the Air Boss. I believe you know Rear Admiral Bates.
:'''Maverick''': Warlock, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Your reputation precedes you.
:'''Maverick''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Wasn't a compliment.
:'''Maverick''': I have to admit I wasn't expecting an invitation back.
:'''Rear Admiral Solomon &quot;Warlock&quot; Bates''': They're called &quot;orders,&quot; Maverick. You two have something in common. Cyclone was first in his class back in '88. 
:'''Maverick''': Actually, sir, I finished second. Just wanted to manage expectations.
:'''Warlock''': The target: An underground uranium enrichment plant built in violation of a multilateral NATO treaty. This plant poses a direct threat to our allies in the region. The Pentagon has tasked us with assembling a strike team and taking it out, before it becomes fully operational.
:''[...]''
:'''Warlock''': What's your read, Captain?
:'''Maverick''': How soon before the plant becomes operational?
:'''Warlock''': Three weeks, maybe less.
:'''Maverick''': Well, sir, normally this would be a cakewalk for the F-35 stealth, but the GPS jamming negates that. I'd make it four F-18s, flying in pairs. That is one hell of a steep climb outta there. And even if you make it past the SAMs, it's a dogfight all the way home.
:'''Warlock''': All scenarios for which you have real-world experience.
:'''Maverick''': Not the same mission, sir. ''[looks back at the screen displaying the enrichment plant]'' No, someone's not coming back from this.
:'''Cyclone''': Can it be done or not?
:'''Maverick''': Well, it's been a while since I've flown an F-18, and I don't know who I'd trust to fly the other three, but-
:'''Warlock''': I think you misunderstand, Captain.
:'''Cyclone''': We don't want you to fly it. We want you to ''teach'' it.
:'''Maverick''': With all due respect, sir, I'm not a teacher.
:'''Cyclone''': You were a Top Gun instructor before.
:'''Maverick''': That was over 30 years ago, sir; I lasted two months. It's not where I belong.
:'''Cyclone''': Well, let me be perfectly blunt: you were not my first choice. You weren't even on a ''list''. You are here at the request of Admiral Kazansky. Now, Iceman happens to be a man I deeply admire. And he feels you still have something left to offer the Navy. What that is I can't imagine. You don't have to take this job. But let me be clear: this will be your last post, Captain. Either you fly for Top Gun, or you don't fly for the Navy ever again.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick visits Iceman]''
:'''Maverick''': Admiral. ''[sits down]'' How's my wingman?
:'''Admiral Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky''': ''[types on his computer]'' I want to talk about work.
:'''Maverick''': Let's not talk about that. Don't worry about me. What can I do for you? ''[Iceman points at the typed words.]'' Rooster is still angry with me for what I did. I thought in time he'd understand why. I hoped he'd forgive me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' There's still time.
:'''Maverick''': Less than three weeks to the mission. The kid is not ready.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' Then teach him.
:'''Maverick''': It's not about what I can give him. Ice, please. Ice, don't ask me to send someone else to die, please- don't ask me to send him. Send me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' It's time to let go.
:'''Maverick''': ''[visibly emotional]'' I don't know how. I'm not a teacher, Ice. I'm a fighter pilot. A naval aviator. It's not what I am, it's who I am. How can I teach that? Even if I could teach it, it's not what Rooster wants. It's not what the Navy wants. That's why they canned me the last time. The only reason I'm here is ''you.'' If I send him on this mission, he may never come home. And if I don't send him... he will never forgive me. Either way, I lose him forever. ''[looks again at the computer screen]'' I know.
:''[Iceman stands up and Maverick rises to meet him]''
:'''Iceman''': ''[whispering]'' The Navy...needs...Maverick. The kid...needs...Maverick. That's why I fought for you. That's why you're still here.
:'''Maverick''': ''[embraces Iceman]'' Thank you, Ice, for everything.
:'''Iceman''': One last thing. Who's the better pilot, you or me?
:'''Maverick''': ''[pauses]'' This is a nice moment, let's not ruin it. ''[they grin and laugh]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick chances upon Rooster at the ready room in the wake of Phoenix and Bob's bird strike]''
:'''Maverick''': They're keeping Phoenix and Bob in the hospital overnight for observation. They're gonna be okay.
:'''Lieutenant Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': That's good. ''[pauses]'' I've never lost a wingman.
:'''Maverick''': You're lucky. Keep flying long enough, it'll happen. There will be others.
:'''Rooster''': Easy for you to say. No wife, no kids. No one to miss you when you burn in.
:'''Maverick''': Get some sleep. ''[goes to leave]''
:'''Rooster''': Why'd you pull my papers at the [[United States Naval Academy|Academy]]? Why did you ''stand in my way?''
:'''Maverick''': You weren't ready.
:'''Rooster''': Ready for what? Huh? Ready to fly like you?
:'''Maverick''': No, ready to forget the book. Trust your instincts! Don't think, just do. [[Top Gun|You think up there, you're dead. Believe me.]]
:'''Rooster''': My dad believed in you. I'm not gonna make the same mistake. 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': There's more than one way to fly this mission.
:'''LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin''': You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back. ''[to Phoenix]'' No offense, Lieutenant.
:'''LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd''': But somehow, you always manage.
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I don't mean to criticize, you're conservative, that's all.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant...
:'''Hangman''': We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. ''[referring to Maverick]'' Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.
:'''Rooster''': What's that supposed to mean?
:'''Maverick''': Rooster...
:'''Hangman''': I can't be the only one that knows that Maverick flew with his old man.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant, that's enough.
:'''Hangman''': Or that Maverick was flying when his old man-
:''[Rooster jumps up and tries to attack Hangman; the other pilots hold him back and separate the two]''
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Rooster''': You son of a bitch!
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I'm cool, I'm cool. Hey.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Hangman''': He's not cut out for this mission.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough.
:'''Hangman''': ''[to Maverick, leaving the room]'' You know it. You know I'm right.
:'''Maverick''': You're all dismissed.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[after Maverick demonstrates that the mission he's trying to teach ''can'' be accomplished]''
:'''Cyclone''': You have put me in a difficult position, Captain. On the one hand, you have demonstrated that this mission can be flown, perhaps the only way it can be survived. On the other hand, you did it by stealing a multi-million dollar military aircraft and flying it in such a manner that it may never be airworthy again. Iceman is no longer here to protect you. I have everything I need to have you court-martialed and dishonorably discharged. So what do I do? Risk the lives of my pilots and perhaps the success of this mission? Or risk my career by appointing you team leader?
:'''Maverick''': Sir...
:'''Warlock''': I think the Admiral is asking a rhetorical question, Captain.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Having spent all ammo shooting down two fifth-generation fighters, Maverick and Rooster are stunned that a third plane is moving to attack - until it is shot down just as it's about to launch a missile that would certainly kill them]''
:'''Hangman''': ''[on radio]'' Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, this is your savior speaking. Please fasten your seat belts, return the tray tables to their locked and upright positions and prepare for landing.
:'''Rooster''': Hey, Hangman, you look good.
:'''Hangman''': I ''am'' good, Rooster. I'm ''very good''. I'll see you back on deck.

== Cast ==
* [[Tom Cruise]] - Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell 
* {{w|Miles Teller}} - LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw
* {{w|Jennifer Connelly}} - Penelope 'Penny' Benjamin
* {{w|John Hamm}} - Vice Adm. Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson
* {{w|Glen Powell}} - LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin
* {{w|Lewis Pullman}} - LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd
* {{w|Ed Harris}} - Rear Adm. Chester 'Hammer' Cain
* [[Val Kilmer]] - Adm. Tom 'Iceman' Kazanski
* {{w|Monica Barbaro}} - LT Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace
* {{w|Charles Parnell}} - Rear Adm. Solomon 'Warlock' Bates
* {{w|Jay Ellis}} - LT Reuben 'Payback' Fitch
* {{w|Danny Ramirez}} - LT Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia
* [[w:Greg Davis (actor)|Greg Tarzan Davis]] - LT Javy 'Coyote' Machado
* {{w|Manny Jacinto}} - LT Billy 'Fritz' Avalone
* Jack Schumacher - LT Neil 'Omaha' Vikander
* {{w|Bashir Salahuddin}} - CWO4 Bernie 'Hondo' Coleman
* {{w|Jake Picking}} - LT Brigham 'Harvard' Lennox
* [[w:Raymond Lee (actor)|Raymond Lee]] - LT Logan 'Yale' Lee
* Kara Wang - LT Callie 'Halo' Bassett
* {{w|Lyliana Wray}} - Amelia Benjamin
* {{w|Jean Louisa Kelly}} - Sarah Kazanski
* {{w|Chelsea Harris}} - Flag Aide Angela Burke
* [[w:Bob Stephenson (actor)|Bob Stephenson]] - Senior Engineer
* {{w|Anthony Edwards}} - LTJG Nick 'Goose' Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}
* {{w|Meg Ryan}} - Carol Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{imdb title|id=1745960|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=top_gun_maverick|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Action films]]
[[Category:Adventure films]]
[[Category:Drama films]]
[[Category:Airplane films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Films set in California]]</text>
      <sha1>ni8uaewq2klry76ahw13khxkhc1cu43</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158725</id>
      <parentid>3158724</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T01:18:07Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>24.51.244.211</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>addition: Admiral Cain</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="13724" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|Top Gun: Maverick}}''''' is a [[w:2022 in film|2022 film]] and a sequel to ''[[Top Gun]]'' about Maverick's return to the United States Navy Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor program, where he must confront his past as he trains a group of younger fighter pilots, among them the son of Maverick's best friend Goose.
:''Directed by {{w|Joseph Kosinski}}. Written by {{w|Ehren Kruger}}, {{w|Eric Warren Singer}} and {{w|Christopher McQuarrie}}. Based on characters by {{w|Jim Cash}} and {{w|Jack Epps Jr.}}''

[[File:F-14 final catapult July 2006.jpg|thumb|Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.]]
[[File:NAS North Island Seal.svg|thumb|&quot;The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;Maybe so, sir. But not today.&quot;]]
[[File:Defense.gov News Photo 051201-N-5088T-001.jpg|thumb|Talk to me, Goose.]]
[[File:Legionnaire of the Legion of Merit.jpg|thumb|&quot;Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are. Captain. Why is that?&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;It's one of life's mysteries, sir.&quot;]]
[[File:2014.020.007 Award, Medal, Navy Cross (13997822835).jpg|thumb|You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back... We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.]]
[[File:F-14 breaks the sound barrier.jpg|thumb|[[Top Gun|Come on, Mav, do some of that pilot shit.]]]]

== Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell ==
* They want Mach 10? Let's give 'em Mach 10.
* ''[Piloting the Darkstar]'' Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.
* ''[Repeated line]'' Talk to me, Goose.

== LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw ==
*[[Top Gun|Come on Mav, do some of that pilot shit!]]
* Talk to me, Dad.

== Rear Admiral Chester Cain ==
* You've got some balls, stick jockey. I'll give you that.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Rear Admiral Chester 'Hammer' Cain''': ''[going through Maverick's service record]'' Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are...''Captain''. Why is that?
:'''Maverick''': It's one of life's mysteries, sir.
:'''Hammer''': This isn't a joke. I asked you a question.
:'''Maverick''': I'm where I belong, sir.
:'''Hammer''': Well, the Navy doesn't see it that way. Not anymore. Those planes you've been testing, Captain... one day sooner than later they won't need pilots at all. Pilots that need to eat, sleep, take a piss. ''[glares at Maverick]'' Pilots that disobey orders. All you did was buy some time for those men out there. The future is coming, and you're not in it. ''[to the Masters-at-Arms]'' Escort this man off the base. Take him to his quarters. Wait with him while he packs his gear. I want him on the road to North Island within the hour.
:'''Maverick''': North Island, sir?
:'''Hammer''': Call came in with impeccable timing just as I was driving here to ground your ass once and for all. It galls me to say it, but...for reasons known only to the Almighty and your guardian angel...you've been called back to Top Gun.
:'''Maverick''': ''[in disbelief]'' Sir?
:'''Hammer''': You are dismissed, Captain. ''[calling after Maverick as he goes to leave]'' The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.
:'''Maverick''': Maybe so, sir. But not today.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vice Admiral Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson''': I'm Vice Admiral Beau Simpson, the Air Boss. I believe you know Rear Admiral Bates.
:'''Maverick''': Warlock, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Your reputation precedes you.
:'''Maverick''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Wasn't a compliment.
:'''Maverick''': I have to admit I wasn't expecting an invitation back.
:'''Rear Admiral Solomon &quot;Warlock&quot; Bates''': They're called &quot;orders,&quot; Maverick. You two have something in common. Cyclone was first in his class back in '88. 
:'''Maverick''': Actually, sir, I finished second. Just wanted to manage expectations.
:'''Warlock''': The target: An underground uranium enrichment plant built in violation of a multilateral NATO treaty. This plant poses a direct threat to our allies in the region. The Pentagon has tasked us with assembling a strike team and taking it out, before it becomes fully operational.
:''[...]''
:'''Warlock''': What's your read, Captain?
:'''Maverick''': How soon before the plant becomes operational?
:'''Warlock''': Three weeks, maybe less.
:'''Maverick''': Well, sir, normally this would be a cakewalk for the F-35 stealth, but the GPS jamming negates that. I'd make it four F-18s, flying in pairs. That is one hell of a steep climb outta there. And even if you make it past the SAMs, it's a dogfight all the way home.
:'''Warlock''': All scenarios for which you have real-world experience.
:'''Maverick''': Not the same mission, sir. ''[looks back at the screen displaying the enrichment plant]'' No, someone's not coming back from this.
:'''Cyclone''': Can it be done or not?
:'''Maverick''': Well, it's been a while since I've flown an F-18, and I don't know who I'd trust to fly the other three, but-
:'''Warlock''': I think you misunderstand, Captain.
:'''Cyclone''': We don't want you to fly it. We want you to ''teach'' it.
:'''Maverick''': With all due respect, sir, I'm not a teacher.
:'''Cyclone''': You were a Top Gun instructor before.
:'''Maverick''': That was over 30 years ago, sir; I lasted two months. It's not where I belong.
:'''Cyclone''': Well, let me be perfectly blunt: you were not my first choice. You weren't even on a ''list''. You are here at the request of Admiral Kazansky. Now, Iceman happens to be a man I deeply admire. And he feels you still have something left to offer the Navy. What that is I can't imagine. You don't have to take this job. But let me be clear: this will be your last post, Captain. Either you fly for Top Gun, or you don't fly for the Navy ever again.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick visits Iceman]''
:'''Maverick''': Admiral. ''[sits down]'' How's my wingman?
:'''Admiral Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky''': ''[types on his computer]'' I want to talk about work.
:'''Maverick''': Let's not talk about that. Don't worry about me. What can I do for you? ''[Iceman points at the typed words.]'' Rooster is still angry with me for what I did. I thought in time he'd understand why. I hoped he'd forgive me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' There's still time.
:'''Maverick''': Less than three weeks to the mission. The kid is not ready.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' Then teach him.
:'''Maverick''': It's not about what I can give him. Ice, please. Ice, don't ask me to send someone else to die, please- don't ask me to send him. Send me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' It's time to let go.
:'''Maverick''': ''[visibly emotional]'' I don't know how. I'm not a teacher, Ice. I'm a fighter pilot. A naval aviator. It's not what I am, it's who I am. How can I teach that? Even if I could teach it, it's not what Rooster wants. It's not what the Navy wants. That's why they canned me the last time. The only reason I'm here is ''you.'' If I send him on this mission, he may never come home. And if I don't send him... he will never forgive me. Either way, I lose him forever. ''[looks again at the computer screen]'' I know.
:''[Iceman stands up and Maverick rises to meet him]''
:'''Iceman''': ''[whispering]'' The Navy...needs...Maverick. The kid...needs...Maverick. That's why I fought for you. That's why you're still here.
:'''Maverick''': ''[embraces Iceman]'' Thank you, Ice, for everything.
:'''Iceman''': One last thing. Who's the better pilot, you or me?
:'''Maverick''': ''[pauses]'' This is a nice moment, let's not ruin it. ''[they grin and laugh]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick chances upon Rooster at the ready room in the wake of Phoenix and Bob's bird strike]''
:'''Maverick''': They're keeping Phoenix and Bob in the hospital overnight for observation. They're gonna be okay.
:'''Lieutenant Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': That's good. ''[pauses]'' I've never lost a wingman.
:'''Maverick''': You're lucky. Keep flying long enough, it'll happen. There will be others.
:'''Rooster''': Easy for you to say. No wife, no kids. No one to miss you when you burn in.
:'''Maverick''': Get some sleep. ''[goes to leave]''
:'''Rooster''': Why'd you pull my papers at the [[United States Naval Academy|Academy]]? Why did you ''stand in my way?''
:'''Maverick''': You weren't ready.
:'''Rooster''': Ready for what? Huh? Ready to fly like you?
:'''Maverick''': No, ready to forget the book. Trust your instincts! Don't think, just do. [[Top Gun|You think up there, you're dead. Believe me.]]
:'''Rooster''': My dad believed in you. I'm not gonna make the same mistake. 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': There's more than one way to fly this mission.
:'''LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin''': You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back. ''[to Phoenix]'' No offense, Lieutenant.
:'''LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd''': But somehow, you always manage.
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I don't mean to criticize, you're conservative, that's all.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant...
:'''Hangman''': We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. ''[referring to Maverick]'' Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.
:'''Rooster''': What's that supposed to mean?
:'''Maverick''': Rooster...
:'''Hangman''': I can't be the only one that knows that Maverick flew with his old man.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant, that's enough.
:'''Hangman''': Or that Maverick was flying when his old man-
:''[Rooster jumps up and tries to attack Hangman; the other pilots hold him back and separate the two]''
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Rooster''': You son of a bitch!
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I'm cool, I'm cool. Hey.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Hangman''': He's not cut out for this mission.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough.
:'''Hangman''': ''[to Maverick, leaving the room]'' You know it. You know I'm right.
:'''Maverick''': You're all dismissed.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[after Maverick demonstrates that the mission he's trying to teach ''can'' be accomplished]''
:'''Cyclone''': You have put me in a difficult position, Captain. On the one hand, you have demonstrated that this mission can be flown, perhaps the only way it can be survived. On the other hand, you did it by stealing a multi-million dollar military aircraft and flying it in such a manner that it may never be airworthy again. Iceman is no longer here to protect you. I have everything I need to have you court-martialed and dishonorably discharged. So what do I do? Risk the lives of my pilots and perhaps the success of this mission? Or risk my career by appointing you team leader?
:'''Maverick''': Sir...
:'''Warlock''': I think the Admiral is asking a rhetorical question, Captain.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Having spent all ammo shooting down two fifth-generation fighters, Maverick and Rooster are stunned that a third plane is moving to attack - until it is shot down just as it's about to launch a missile that would certainly kill them]''
:'''Hangman''': ''[on radio]'' Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, this is your savior speaking. Please fasten your seat belts, return the tray tables to their locked and upright positions and prepare for landing.
:'''Rooster''': Hey, Hangman, you look good.
:'''Hangman''': I ''am'' good, Rooster. I'm ''very good''. I'll see you back on deck.

== Cast ==
* [[Tom Cruise]] - Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell 
* {{w|Miles Teller}} - LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw
* {{w|Jennifer Connelly}} - Penelope 'Penny' Benjamin
* {{w|John Hamm}} - Vice Adm. Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson
* {{w|Glen Powell}} - LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin
* {{w|Lewis Pullman}} - LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd
* {{w|Ed Harris}} - Rear Adm. Chester 'Hammer' Cain
* [[Val Kilmer]] - Adm. Tom 'Iceman' Kazanski
* {{w|Monica Barbaro}} - LT Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace
* {{w|Charles Parnell}} - Rear Adm. Solomon 'Warlock' Bates
* {{w|Jay Ellis}} - LT Reuben 'Payback' Fitch
* {{w|Danny Ramirez}} - LT Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia
* [[w:Greg Davis (actor)|Greg Tarzan Davis]] - LT Javy 'Coyote' Machado
* {{w|Manny Jacinto}} - LT Billy 'Fritz' Avalone
* Jack Schumacher - LT Neil 'Omaha' Vikander
* {{w|Bashir Salahuddin}} - CWO4 Bernie 'Hondo' Coleman
* {{w|Jake Picking}} - LT Brigham 'Harvard' Lennox
* [[w:Raymond Lee (actor)|Raymond Lee]] - LT Logan 'Yale' Lee
* Kara Wang - LT Callie 'Halo' Bassett
* {{w|Lyliana Wray}} - Amelia Benjamin
* {{w|Jean Louisa Kelly}} - Sarah Kazanski
* {{w|Chelsea Harris}} - Flag Aide Angela Burke
* [[w:Bob Stephenson (actor)|Bob Stephenson]] - Senior Engineer
* {{w|Anthony Edwards}} - LTJG Nick 'Goose' Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}
* {{w|Meg Ryan}} - Carol Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{imdb title|id=1745960|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=top_gun_maverick|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Action films]]
[[Category:Adventure films]]
[[Category:Drama films]]
[[Category:Airplane films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Films set in California]]</text>
      <sha1>fs1bx2tqx2yhaoaidpg56s8ocihqcaq</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158726</id>
      <parentid>3158725</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T01:20:02Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>24.51.244.211</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="13726" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|Top Gun: Maverick}}''''' is a [[w:2022 in film|2022 film]] and a sequel to ''[[Top Gun]]'' about Maverick's return to the United States Navy Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor program, where he must confront his past as he trains a group of younger fighter pilots, among them the son of Maverick's best friend Goose.
:''Directed by {{w|Joseph Kosinski}}. Written by {{w|Ehren Kruger}}, {{w|Eric Warren Singer}} and {{w|Christopher McQuarrie}}. Based on characters by {{w|Jim Cash}} and {{w|Jack Epps Jr.}}''

[[File:F-14 final catapult July 2006.jpg|thumb|Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.]]
[[File:NAS North Island Seal.svg|thumb|&quot;The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;Maybe so, sir. But not today.&quot;]]
[[File:Defense.gov News Photo 051201-N-5088T-001.jpg|thumb|Talk to me, Goose.]]
[[File:Legionnaire of the Legion of Merit.jpg|thumb|&quot;Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are. Captain. Why is that?&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;It's one of life's mysteries, sir.&quot;]]
[[File:2014.020.007 Award, Medal, Navy Cross (13997822835).jpg|thumb|You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back... We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.]]
[[File:F-14 breaks the sound barrier.jpg|thumb|[[Top Gun|Come on, Mav, do some of that pilot shit.]]]]

== Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell ==
* They want Mach 10? Let's give 'em Mach 10.
* ''[Piloting the Darkstar]'' Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.
* ''[Repeated line]'' Talk to me, Goose.

== LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw ==
*[[Top Gun|Come on Mav, do some of that pilot shit!]]
* Talk to me, Dad.

== Rear Admiral Chester Cain ==
* You've got some balls, stick jockey. I'll give you that.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Rear Admiral Chester 'Hammer' Cain''': ''[going through Maverick's service record]'' Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are...''Captain''. Why is that?
:'''Maverick''': It's one of life's mysteries, sir.
:'''Hammer''': This isn't a joke. I asked you a question.
:'''Maverick''': I'm where I belong, sir.
:'''Hammer''': Well, the Navy doesn't see it that way. Not anymore. Those planes you've been testing, Captain... one day sooner than later they won't need pilots at all. Pilots that need to eat, sleep, take a piss. ''[glares at Maverick]'' Pilots that disobey orders. All you did was buy some time for those men out there. The future is coming, and you're not in it. ''[to the Masters-at-Arms]'' Escort this man off the base. Take him to his quarters. Wait with him while he packs his gear. I want him on the road to North Island within the hour.
:'''Maverick''': North Island, sir?
:'''Hammer''': Call came in with impeccable timing just as I was driving here to ground your ass once and for all. It galls me to say it, but... for reasons known only to the Almighty and your guardian angel... you've been called back to Top Gun.
:'''Maverick''': ''[in disbelief]'' Sir?
:'''Hammer''': You are dismissed, Captain. ''[calling after Maverick as he goes to leave]'' The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.
:'''Maverick''': Maybe so, sir. But not today.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vice Admiral Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson''': I'm Vice Admiral Beau Simpson, the Air Boss. I believe you know Rear Admiral Bates.
:'''Maverick''': Warlock, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Your reputation precedes you.
:'''Maverick''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Wasn't a compliment.
:'''Maverick''': I have to admit I wasn't expecting an invitation back.
:'''Rear Admiral Solomon &quot;Warlock&quot; Bates''': They're called &quot;orders,&quot; Maverick. You two have something in common. Cyclone was first in his class back in '88. 
:'''Maverick''': Actually, sir, I finished second. Just wanted to manage expectations.
:'''Warlock''': The target: An underground uranium enrichment plant built in violation of a multilateral NATO treaty. This plant poses a direct threat to our allies in the region. The Pentagon has tasked us with assembling a strike team and taking it out, before it becomes fully operational.
:''[...]''
:'''Warlock''': What's your read, Captain?
:'''Maverick''': How soon before the plant becomes operational?
:'''Warlock''': Three weeks, maybe less.
:'''Maverick''': Well, sir, normally this would be a cakewalk for the F-35 stealth, but the GPS jamming negates that. I'd make it four F-18s, flying in pairs. That is one hell of a steep climb outta there. And even if you make it past the SAMs, it's a dogfight all the way home.
:'''Warlock''': All scenarios for which you have real-world experience.
:'''Maverick''': Not the same mission, sir. ''[looks back at the screen displaying the enrichment plant]'' No, someone's not coming back from this.
:'''Cyclone''': Can it be done or not?
:'''Maverick''': Well, it's been a while since I've flown an F-18, and I don't know who I'd trust to fly the other three, but-
:'''Warlock''': I think you misunderstand, Captain.
:'''Cyclone''': We don't want you to fly it. We want you to ''teach'' it.
:'''Maverick''': With all due respect, sir, I'm not a teacher.
:'''Cyclone''': You were a Top Gun instructor before.
:'''Maverick''': That was over 30 years ago, sir; I lasted two months. It's not where I belong.
:'''Cyclone''': Well, let me be perfectly blunt: you were not my first choice. You weren't even on a ''list''. You are here at the request of Admiral Kazansky. Now, Iceman happens to be a man I deeply admire. And he feels you still have something left to offer the Navy. What that is I can't imagine. You don't have to take this job. But let me be clear: this will be your last post, Captain. Either you fly for Top Gun, or you don't fly for the Navy ever again.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick visits Iceman]''
:'''Maverick''': Admiral. ''[sits down]'' How's my wingman?
:'''Admiral Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky''': ''[types on his computer]'' I want to talk about work.
:'''Maverick''': Let's not talk about that. Don't worry about me. What can I do for you? ''[Iceman points at the typed words.]'' Rooster is still angry with me for what I did. I thought in time he'd understand why. I hoped he'd forgive me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' There's still time.
:'''Maverick''': Less than three weeks to the mission. The kid is not ready.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' Then teach him.
:'''Maverick''': It's not about what I can give him. Ice, please. Ice, don't ask me to send someone else to die, please- don't ask me to send him. Send me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' It's time to let go.
:'''Maverick''': ''[visibly emotional]'' I don't know how. I'm not a teacher, Ice. I'm a fighter pilot. A naval aviator. It's not what I am, it's who I am. How can I teach that? Even if I could teach it, it's not what Rooster wants. It's not what the Navy wants. That's why they canned me the last time. The only reason I'm here is ''you.'' If I send him on this mission, he may never come home. And if I don't send him... he will never forgive me. Either way, I lose him forever. ''[looks again at the computer screen]'' I know.
:''[Iceman stands up and Maverick rises to meet him]''
:'''Iceman''': ''[whispering]'' The Navy...needs...Maverick. The kid...needs...Maverick. That's why I fought for you. That's why you're still here.
:'''Maverick''': ''[embraces Iceman]'' Thank you, Ice, for everything.
:'''Iceman''': One last thing. Who's the better pilot, you or me?
:'''Maverick''': ''[pauses]'' This is a nice moment, let's not ruin it. ''[they grin and laugh]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick chances upon Rooster at the ready room in the wake of Phoenix and Bob's bird strike]''
:'''Maverick''': They're keeping Phoenix and Bob in the hospital overnight for observation. They're gonna be okay.
:'''Lieutenant Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': That's good. ''[pauses]'' I've never lost a wingman.
:'''Maverick''': You're lucky. Keep flying long enough, it'll happen. There will be others.
:'''Rooster''': Easy for you to say. No wife, no kids. No one to miss you when you burn in.
:'''Maverick''': Get some sleep. ''[goes to leave]''
:'''Rooster''': Why'd you pull my papers at the [[United States Naval Academy|Academy]]? Why did you ''stand in my way?''
:'''Maverick''': You weren't ready.
:'''Rooster''': Ready for what? Huh? Ready to fly like you?
:'''Maverick''': No, ready to forget the book. Trust your instincts! Don't think, just do. [[Top Gun|You think up there, you're dead. Believe me.]]
:'''Rooster''': My dad believed in you. I'm not gonna make the same mistake. 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': There's more than one way to fly this mission.
:'''LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin''': You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back. ''[to Phoenix]'' No offense, Lieutenant.
:'''LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd''': But somehow, you always manage.
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I don't mean to criticize, you're conservative, that's all.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant...
:'''Hangman''': We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. ''[referring to Maverick]'' Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.
:'''Rooster''': What's that supposed to mean?
:'''Maverick''': Rooster...
:'''Hangman''': I can't be the only one that knows that Maverick flew with his old man.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant, that's enough.
:'''Hangman''': Or that Maverick was flying when his old man-
:''[Rooster jumps up and tries to attack Hangman; the other pilots hold him back and separate the two]''
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Rooster''': You son of a bitch!
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I'm cool, I'm cool. Hey.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Hangman''': He's not cut out for this mission.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough.
:'''Hangman''': ''[to Maverick, leaving the room]'' You know it. You know I'm right.
:'''Maverick''': You're all dismissed.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[after Maverick demonstrates that the mission he's trying to teach ''can'' be accomplished]''
:'''Cyclone''': You have put me in a difficult position, Captain. On the one hand, you have demonstrated that this mission can be flown, perhaps the only way it can be survived. On the other hand, you did it by stealing a multi-million dollar military aircraft and flying it in such a manner that it may never be airworthy again. Iceman is no longer here to protect you. I have everything I need to have you court-martialed and dishonorably discharged. So what do I do? Risk the lives of my pilots and perhaps the success of this mission? Or risk my career by appointing you team leader?
:'''Maverick''': Sir...
:'''Warlock''': I think the Admiral is asking a rhetorical question, Captain.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Having spent all ammo shooting down two fifth-generation fighters, Maverick and Rooster are stunned that a third plane is moving to attack - until it is shot down just as it's about to launch a missile that would certainly kill them]''
:'''Hangman''': ''[on radio]'' Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, this is your savior speaking. Please fasten your seat belts, return the tray tables to their locked and upright positions and prepare for landing.
:'''Rooster''': Hey, Hangman, you look good.
:'''Hangman''': I ''am'' good, Rooster. I'm ''very good''. I'll see you back on deck.

== Cast ==
* [[Tom Cruise]] - Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell 
* {{w|Miles Teller}} - LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw
* {{w|Jennifer Connelly}} - Penelope 'Penny' Benjamin
* {{w|John Hamm}} - Vice Adm. Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson
* {{w|Glen Powell}} - LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin
* {{w|Lewis Pullman}} - LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd
* {{w|Ed Harris}} - Rear Adm. Chester 'Hammer' Cain
* [[Val Kilmer]] - Adm. Tom 'Iceman' Kazanski
* {{w|Monica Barbaro}} - LT Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace
* {{w|Charles Parnell}} - Rear Adm. Solomon 'Warlock' Bates
* {{w|Jay Ellis}} - LT Reuben 'Payback' Fitch
* {{w|Danny Ramirez}} - LT Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia
* [[w:Greg Davis (actor)|Greg Tarzan Davis]] - LT Javy 'Coyote' Machado
* {{w|Manny Jacinto}} - LT Billy 'Fritz' Avalone
* Jack Schumacher - LT Neil 'Omaha' Vikander
* {{w|Bashir Salahuddin}} - CWO4 Bernie 'Hondo' Coleman
* {{w|Jake Picking}} - LT Brigham 'Harvard' Lennox
* [[w:Raymond Lee (actor)|Raymond Lee]] - LT Logan 'Yale' Lee
* Kara Wang - LT Callie 'Halo' Bassett
* {{w|Lyliana Wray}} - Amelia Benjamin
* {{w|Jean Louisa Kelly}} - Sarah Kazanski
* {{w|Chelsea Harris}} - Flag Aide Angela Burke
* [[w:Bob Stephenson (actor)|Bob Stephenson]] - Senior Engineer
* {{w|Anthony Edwards}} - LTJG Nick 'Goose' Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}
* {{w|Meg Ryan}} - Carol Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{imdb title|id=1745960|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=top_gun_maverick|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Action films]]
[[Category:Adventure films]]
[[Category:Drama films]]
[[Category:Airplane films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Films set in California]]</text>
      <sha1>6xd6qaz7w09sfizupxks7m8gkzkedh4</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158737</id>
      <parentid>3158726</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T02:23:29Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>24.51.244.211</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>others dialogue added</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="13792" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|Top Gun: Maverick}}''''' is a [[w:2022 in film|2022 film]] and a sequel to ''[[Top Gun]]'' about Maverick's return to the United States Navy Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor program, where he must confront his past as he trains a group of younger fighter pilots, among them the son of Maverick's best friend Goose.
:''Directed by {{w|Joseph Kosinski}}. Written by {{w|Ehren Kruger}}, {{w|Eric Warren Singer}} and {{w|Christopher McQuarrie}}. Based on characters by {{w|Jim Cash}} and {{w|Jack Epps Jr.}}''

[[File:F-14 final catapult July 2006.jpg|thumb|Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.]]
[[File:NAS North Island Seal.svg|thumb|&quot;The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;Maybe so, sir. But not today.&quot;]]
[[File:Defense.gov News Photo 051201-N-5088T-001.jpg|thumb|Talk to me, Goose.]]
[[File:Legionnaire of the Legion of Merit.jpg|thumb|&quot;Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are. Captain. Why is that?&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;It's one of life's mysteries, sir.&quot;]]
[[File:2014.020.007 Award, Medal, Navy Cross (13997822835).jpg|thumb|You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back... We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.]]
[[File:F-14 breaks the sound barrier.jpg|thumb|[[Top Gun|Come on, Mav, do some of that pilot shit.]]]]

== Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell ==
* They want Mach 10? Let's give 'em Mach 10.
* ''[Piloting the Darkstar]'' Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.
* ''[Repeated line]'' Talk to me, Goose.

== LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw ==
*[[Top Gun|Come on Mav, do some of that pilot shit!]]
* Talk to me, Dad.

== Rear Admiral Chester Cain ==
* You've got some balls, stick jockey. I'll give you that.

== Others ==
*Amelia Benjamin: Just don't break her heart again.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Rear Admiral Chester 'Hammer' Cain''': ''[going through Maverick's service record]'' Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are...''Captain''. Why is that?
:'''Maverick''': It's one of life's mysteries, sir.
:'''Hammer''': This isn't a joke. I asked you a question.
:'''Maverick''': I'm where I belong, sir.
:'''Hammer''': Well, the Navy doesn't see it that way. Not anymore. Those planes you've been testing, Captain... one day sooner than later they won't need pilots at all. Pilots that need to eat, sleep, take a piss. ''[glares at Maverick]'' Pilots that disobey orders. All you did was buy some time for those men out there. The future is coming, and you're not in it. ''[to the Masters-at-Arms]'' Escort this man off the base. Take him to his quarters. Wait with him while he packs his gear. I want him on the road to North Island within the hour.
:'''Maverick''': North Island, sir?
:'''Hammer''': Call came in with impeccable timing just as I was driving here to ground your ass once and for all. It galls me to say it, but... for reasons known only to the Almighty and your guardian angel... you've been called back to Top Gun.
:'''Maverick''': ''[in disbelief]'' Sir?
:'''Hammer''': You are dismissed, Captain. ''[calling after Maverick as he goes to leave]'' The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.
:'''Maverick''': Maybe so, sir. But not today.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vice Admiral Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson''': I'm Vice Admiral Beau Simpson, the Air Boss. I believe you know Rear Admiral Bates.
:'''Maverick''': Warlock, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Your reputation precedes you.
:'''Maverick''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Wasn't a compliment.
:'''Maverick''': I have to admit I wasn't expecting an invitation back.
:'''Rear Admiral Solomon &quot;Warlock&quot; Bates''': They're called &quot;orders,&quot; Maverick. You two have something in common. Cyclone was first in his class back in '88. 
:'''Maverick''': Actually, sir, I finished second. Just wanted to manage expectations.
:'''Warlock''': The target: An underground uranium enrichment plant built in violation of a multilateral NATO treaty. This plant poses a direct threat to our allies in the region. The Pentagon has tasked us with assembling a strike team and taking it out, before it becomes fully operational.
:''[...]''
:'''Warlock''': What's your read, Captain?
:'''Maverick''': How soon before the plant becomes operational?
:'''Warlock''': Three weeks, maybe less.
:'''Maverick''': Well, sir, normally this would be a cakewalk for the F-35 stealth, but the GPS jamming negates that. I'd make it four F-18s, flying in pairs. That is one hell of a steep climb outta there. And even if you make it past the SAMs, it's a dogfight all the way home.
:'''Warlock''': All scenarios for which you have real-world experience.
:'''Maverick''': Not the same mission, sir. ''[looks back at the screen displaying the enrichment plant]'' No, someone's not coming back from this.
:'''Cyclone''': Can it be done or not?
:'''Maverick''': Well, it's been a while since I've flown an F-18, and I don't know who I'd trust to fly the other three, but-
:'''Warlock''': I think you misunderstand, Captain.
:'''Cyclone''': We don't want you to fly it. We want you to ''teach'' it.
:'''Maverick''': With all due respect, sir, I'm not a teacher.
:'''Cyclone''': You were a Top Gun instructor before.
:'''Maverick''': That was over 30 years ago, sir; I lasted two months. It's not where I belong.
:'''Cyclone''': Well, let me be perfectly blunt: you were not my first choice. You weren't even on a ''list''. You are here at the request of Admiral Kazansky. Now, Iceman happens to be a man I deeply admire. And he feels you still have something left to offer the Navy. What that is I can't imagine. You don't have to take this job. But let me be clear: this will be your last post, Captain. Either you fly for Top Gun, or you don't fly for the Navy ever again.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick visits Iceman]''
:'''Maverick''': Admiral. ''[sits down]'' How's my wingman?
:'''Admiral Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky''': ''[types on his computer]'' I want to talk about work.
:'''Maverick''': Let's not talk about that. Don't worry about me. What can I do for you? ''[Iceman points at the typed words.]'' Rooster is still angry with me for what I did. I thought in time he'd understand why. I hoped he'd forgive me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' There's still time.
:'''Maverick''': Less than three weeks to the mission. The kid is not ready.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' Then teach him.
:'''Maverick''': It's not about what I can give him. Ice, please. Ice, don't ask me to send someone else to die, please- don't ask me to send him. Send me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' It's time to let go.
:'''Maverick''': ''[visibly emotional]'' I don't know how. I'm not a teacher, Ice. I'm a fighter pilot. A naval aviator. It's not what I am, it's who I am. How can I teach that? Even if I could teach it, it's not what Rooster wants. It's not what the Navy wants. That's why they canned me the last time. The only reason I'm here is ''you.'' If I send him on this mission, he may never come home. And if I don't send him... he will never forgive me. Either way, I lose him forever. ''[looks again at the computer screen]'' I know.
:''[Iceman stands up and Maverick rises to meet him]''
:'''Iceman''': ''[whispering]'' The Navy...needs...Maverick. The kid...needs...Maverick. That's why I fought for you. That's why you're still here.
:'''Maverick''': ''[embraces Iceman]'' Thank you, Ice, for everything.
:'''Iceman''': One last thing. Who's the better pilot, you or me?
:'''Maverick''': ''[pauses]'' This is a nice moment, let's not ruin it. ''[they grin and laugh]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick chances upon Rooster at the ready room in the wake of Phoenix and Bob's bird strike]''
:'''Maverick''': They're keeping Phoenix and Bob in the hospital overnight for observation. They're gonna be okay.
:'''Lieutenant Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': That's good. ''[pauses]'' I've never lost a wingman.
:'''Maverick''': You're lucky. Keep flying long enough, it'll happen. There will be others.
:'''Rooster''': Easy for you to say. No wife, no kids. No one to miss you when you burn in.
:'''Maverick''': Get some sleep. ''[goes to leave]''
:'''Rooster''': Why'd you pull my papers at the [[United States Naval Academy|Academy]]? Why did you ''stand in my way?''
:'''Maverick''': You weren't ready.
:'''Rooster''': Ready for what? Huh? Ready to fly like you?
:'''Maverick''': No, ready to forget the book. Trust your instincts! Don't think, just do. [[Top Gun|You think up there, you're dead. Believe me.]]
:'''Rooster''': My dad believed in you. I'm not gonna make the same mistake. 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': There's more than one way to fly this mission.
:'''LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin''': You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back. ''[to Phoenix]'' No offense, Lieutenant.
:'''LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd''': But somehow, you always manage.
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I don't mean to criticize, you're conservative, that's all.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant...
:'''Hangman''': We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. ''[referring to Maverick]'' Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.
:'''Rooster''': What's that supposed to mean?
:'''Maverick''': Rooster...
:'''Hangman''': I can't be the only one that knows that Maverick flew with his old man.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant, that's enough.
:'''Hangman''': Or that Maverick was flying when his old man-
:''[Rooster jumps up and tries to attack Hangman; the other pilots hold him back and separate the two]''
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Rooster''': You son of a bitch!
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I'm cool, I'm cool. Hey.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Hangman''': He's not cut out for this mission.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough.
:'''Hangman''': ''[to Maverick, leaving the room]'' You know it. You know I'm right.
:'''Maverick''': You're all dismissed.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[after Maverick demonstrates that the mission he's trying to teach ''can'' be accomplished]''
:'''Cyclone''': You have put me in a difficult position, Captain. On the one hand, you have demonstrated that this mission can be flown, perhaps the only way it can be survived. On the other hand, you did it by stealing a multi-million dollar military aircraft and flying it in such a manner that it may never be airworthy again. Iceman is no longer here to protect you. I have everything I need to have you court-martialed and dishonorably discharged. So what do I do? Risk the lives of my pilots and perhaps the success of this mission? Or risk my career by appointing you team leader?
:'''Maverick''': Sir...
:'''Warlock''': I think the Admiral is asking a rhetorical question, Captain.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Having spent all ammo shooting down two fifth-generation fighters, Maverick and Rooster are stunned that a third plane is moving to attack - until it is shot down just as it's about to launch a missile that would certainly kill them]''
:'''Hangman''': ''[on radio]'' Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, this is your savior speaking. Please fasten your seat belts, return the tray tables to their locked and upright positions and prepare for landing.
:'''Rooster''': Hey, Hangman, you look good.
:'''Hangman''': I ''am'' good, Rooster. I'm ''very good''. I'll see you back on deck.

== Cast ==
* [[Tom Cruise]] - Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell 
* {{w|Miles Teller}} - LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw
* {{w|Jennifer Connelly}} - Penelope 'Penny' Benjamin
* {{w|John Hamm}} - Vice Adm. Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson
* {{w|Glen Powell}} - LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin
* {{w|Lewis Pullman}} - LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd
* {{w|Ed Harris}} - Rear Adm. Chester 'Hammer' Cain
* [[Val Kilmer]] - Adm. Tom 'Iceman' Kazanski
* {{w|Monica Barbaro}} - LT Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace
* {{w|Charles Parnell}} - Rear Adm. Solomon 'Warlock' Bates
* {{w|Jay Ellis}} - LT Reuben 'Payback' Fitch
* {{w|Danny Ramirez}} - LT Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia
* [[w:Greg Davis (actor)|Greg Tarzan Davis]] - LT Javy 'Coyote' Machado
* {{w|Manny Jacinto}} - LT Billy 'Fritz' Avalone
* Jack Schumacher - LT Neil 'Omaha' Vikander
* {{w|Bashir Salahuddin}} - CWO4 Bernie 'Hondo' Coleman
* {{w|Jake Picking}} - LT Brigham 'Harvard' Lennox
* [[w:Raymond Lee (actor)|Raymond Lee]] - LT Logan 'Yale' Lee
* Kara Wang - LT Callie 'Halo' Bassett
* {{w|Lyliana Wray}} - Amelia Benjamin
* {{w|Jean Louisa Kelly}} - Sarah Kazanski
* {{w|Chelsea Harris}} - Flag Aide Angela Burke
* [[w:Bob Stephenson (actor)|Bob Stephenson]] - Senior Engineer
* {{w|Anthony Edwards}} - LTJG Nick 'Goose' Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}
* {{w|Meg Ryan}} - Carol Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{imdb title|id=1745960|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=top_gun_maverick|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Action films]]
[[Category:Adventure films]]
[[Category:Drama films]]
[[Category:Airplane films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Films set in California]]</text>
      <sha1>igrzt4gwl5ijhwqw7y5q368tiyce3v0</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158738</id>
      <parentid>3158737</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T02:24:24Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>24.51.244.211</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>added dialogue</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="13860" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|Top Gun: Maverick}}''''' is a [[w:2022 in film|2022 film]] and a sequel to ''[[Top Gun]]'' about Maverick's return to the United States Navy Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor program, where he must confront his past as he trains a group of younger fighter pilots, among them the son of Maverick's best friend Goose.
:''Directed by {{w|Joseph Kosinski}}. Written by {{w|Ehren Kruger}}, {{w|Eric Warren Singer}} and {{w|Christopher McQuarrie}}. Based on characters by {{w|Jim Cash}} and {{w|Jack Epps Jr.}}''

[[File:F-14 final catapult July 2006.jpg|thumb|Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.]]
[[File:NAS North Island Seal.svg|thumb|&quot;The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;Maybe so, sir. But not today.&quot;]]
[[File:Defense.gov News Photo 051201-N-5088T-001.jpg|thumb|Talk to me, Goose.]]
[[File:Legionnaire of the Legion of Merit.jpg|thumb|&quot;Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are. Captain. Why is that?&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;It's one of life's mysteries, sir.&quot;]]
[[File:2014.020.007 Award, Medal, Navy Cross (13997822835).jpg|thumb|You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back... We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.]]
[[File:F-14 breaks the sound barrier.jpg|thumb|[[Top Gun|Come on, Mav, do some of that pilot shit.]]]]

== Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell ==
* They want Mach 10? Let's give 'em Mach 10.
* ''[Piloting the Darkstar]'' Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.
* ''[Repeated line]'' Talk to me, Goose.

== LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw ==
*[[Top Gun|Come on Mav, do some of that pilot shit!]]
* Talk to me, Dad.

== Rear Admiral Chester Cain ==
* You've got some balls, stick jockey. I'll give you that.

== Others ==
*Amelia Benjamin: Just don't break her heart again.
*Warlock: Captain Mitchell. You're where you belong. Make us proud.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Rear Admiral Chester 'Hammer' Cain''': ''[going through Maverick's service record]'' Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are...''Captain''. Why is that?
:'''Maverick''': It's one of life's mysteries, sir.
:'''Hammer''': This isn't a joke. I asked you a question.
:'''Maverick''': I'm where I belong, sir.
:'''Hammer''': Well, the Navy doesn't see it that way. Not anymore. Those planes you've been testing, Captain... one day sooner than later they won't need pilots at all. Pilots that need to eat, sleep, take a piss. ''[glares at Maverick]'' Pilots that disobey orders. All you did was buy some time for those men out there. The future is coming, and you're not in it. ''[to the Masters-at-Arms]'' Escort this man off the base. Take him to his quarters. Wait with him while he packs his gear. I want him on the road to North Island within the hour.
:'''Maverick''': North Island, sir?
:'''Hammer''': Call came in with impeccable timing just as I was driving here to ground your ass once and for all. It galls me to say it, but... for reasons known only to the Almighty and your guardian angel... you've been called back to Top Gun.
:'''Maverick''': ''[in disbelief]'' Sir?
:'''Hammer''': You are dismissed, Captain. ''[calling after Maverick as he goes to leave]'' The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.
:'''Maverick''': Maybe so, sir. But not today.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vice Admiral Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson''': I'm Vice Admiral Beau Simpson, the Air Boss. I believe you know Rear Admiral Bates.
:'''Maverick''': Warlock, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Your reputation precedes you.
:'''Maverick''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Wasn't a compliment.
:'''Maverick''': I have to admit I wasn't expecting an invitation back.
:'''Rear Admiral Solomon &quot;Warlock&quot; Bates''': They're called &quot;orders,&quot; Maverick. You two have something in common. Cyclone was first in his class back in '88. 
:'''Maverick''': Actually, sir, I finished second. Just wanted to manage expectations.
:'''Warlock''': The target: An underground uranium enrichment plant built in violation of a multilateral NATO treaty. This plant poses a direct threat to our allies in the region. The Pentagon has tasked us with assembling a strike team and taking it out, before it becomes fully operational.
:''[...]''
:'''Warlock''': What's your read, Captain?
:'''Maverick''': How soon before the plant becomes operational?
:'''Warlock''': Three weeks, maybe less.
:'''Maverick''': Well, sir, normally this would be a cakewalk for the F-35 stealth, but the GPS jamming negates that. I'd make it four F-18s, flying in pairs. That is one hell of a steep climb outta there. And even if you make it past the SAMs, it's a dogfight all the way home.
:'''Warlock''': All scenarios for which you have real-world experience.
:'''Maverick''': Not the same mission, sir. ''[looks back at the screen displaying the enrichment plant]'' No, someone's not coming back from this.
:'''Cyclone''': Can it be done or not?
:'''Maverick''': Well, it's been a while since I've flown an F-18, and I don't know who I'd trust to fly the other three, but-
:'''Warlock''': I think you misunderstand, Captain.
:'''Cyclone''': We don't want you to fly it. We want you to ''teach'' it.
:'''Maverick''': With all due respect, sir, I'm not a teacher.
:'''Cyclone''': You were a Top Gun instructor before.
:'''Maverick''': That was over 30 years ago, sir; I lasted two months. It's not where I belong.
:'''Cyclone''': Well, let me be perfectly blunt: you were not my first choice. You weren't even on a ''list''. You are here at the request of Admiral Kazansky. Now, Iceman happens to be a man I deeply admire. And he feels you still have something left to offer the Navy. What that is I can't imagine. You don't have to take this job. But let me be clear: this will be your last post, Captain. Either you fly for Top Gun, or you don't fly for the Navy ever again.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick visits Iceman]''
:'''Maverick''': Admiral. ''[sits down]'' How's my wingman?
:'''Admiral Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky''': ''[types on his computer]'' I want to talk about work.
:'''Maverick''': Let's not talk about that. Don't worry about me. What can I do for you? ''[Iceman points at the typed words.]'' Rooster is still angry with me for what I did. I thought in time he'd understand why. I hoped he'd forgive me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' There's still time.
:'''Maverick''': Less than three weeks to the mission. The kid is not ready.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' Then teach him.
:'''Maverick''': It's not about what I can give him. Ice, please. Ice, don't ask me to send someone else to die, please- don't ask me to send him. Send me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' It's time to let go.
:'''Maverick''': ''[visibly emotional]'' I don't know how. I'm not a teacher, Ice. I'm a fighter pilot. A naval aviator. It's not what I am, it's who I am. How can I teach that? Even if I could teach it, it's not what Rooster wants. It's not what the Navy wants. That's why they canned me the last time. The only reason I'm here is ''you.'' If I send him on this mission, he may never come home. And if I don't send him... he will never forgive me. Either way, I lose him forever. ''[looks again at the computer screen]'' I know.
:''[Iceman stands up and Maverick rises to meet him]''
:'''Iceman''': ''[whispering]'' The Navy...needs...Maverick. The kid...needs...Maverick. That's why I fought for you. That's why you're still here.
:'''Maverick''': ''[embraces Iceman]'' Thank you, Ice, for everything.
:'''Iceman''': One last thing. Who's the better pilot, you or me?
:'''Maverick''': ''[pauses]'' This is a nice moment, let's not ruin it. ''[they grin and laugh]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick chances upon Rooster at the ready room in the wake of Phoenix and Bob's bird strike]''
:'''Maverick''': They're keeping Phoenix and Bob in the hospital overnight for observation. They're gonna be okay.
:'''Lieutenant Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': That's good. ''[pauses]'' I've never lost a wingman.
:'''Maverick''': You're lucky. Keep flying long enough, it'll happen. There will be others.
:'''Rooster''': Easy for you to say. No wife, no kids. No one to miss you when you burn in.
:'''Maverick''': Get some sleep. ''[goes to leave]''
:'''Rooster''': Why'd you pull my papers at the [[United States Naval Academy|Academy]]? Why did you ''stand in my way?''
:'''Maverick''': You weren't ready.
:'''Rooster''': Ready for what? Huh? Ready to fly like you?
:'''Maverick''': No, ready to forget the book. Trust your instincts! Don't think, just do. [[Top Gun|You think up there, you're dead. Believe me.]]
:'''Rooster''': My dad believed in you. I'm not gonna make the same mistake. 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': There's more than one way to fly this mission.
:'''LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin''': You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back. ''[to Phoenix]'' No offense, Lieutenant.
:'''LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd''': But somehow, you always manage.
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I don't mean to criticize, you're conservative, that's all.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant...
:'''Hangman''': We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. ''[referring to Maverick]'' Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.
:'''Rooster''': What's that supposed to mean?
:'''Maverick''': Rooster...
:'''Hangman''': I can't be the only one that knows that Maverick flew with his old man.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant, that's enough.
:'''Hangman''': Or that Maverick was flying when his old man-
:''[Rooster jumps up and tries to attack Hangman; the other pilots hold him back and separate the two]''
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Rooster''': You son of a bitch!
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I'm cool, I'm cool. Hey.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Hangman''': He's not cut out for this mission.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough.
:'''Hangman''': ''[to Maverick, leaving the room]'' You know it. You know I'm right.
:'''Maverick''': You're all dismissed.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[after Maverick demonstrates that the mission he's trying to teach ''can'' be accomplished]''
:'''Cyclone''': You have put me in a difficult position, Captain. On the one hand, you have demonstrated that this mission can be flown, perhaps the only way it can be survived. On the other hand, you did it by stealing a multi-million dollar military aircraft and flying it in such a manner that it may never be airworthy again. Iceman is no longer here to protect you. I have everything I need to have you court-martialed and dishonorably discharged. So what do I do? Risk the lives of my pilots and perhaps the success of this mission? Or risk my career by appointing you team leader?
:'''Maverick''': Sir...
:'''Warlock''': I think the Admiral is asking a rhetorical question, Captain.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Having spent all ammo shooting down two fifth-generation fighters, Maverick and Rooster are stunned that a third plane is moving to attack - until it is shot down just as it's about to launch a missile that would certainly kill them]''
:'''Hangman''': ''[on radio]'' Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, this is your savior speaking. Please fasten your seat belts, return the tray tables to their locked and upright positions and prepare for landing.
:'''Rooster''': Hey, Hangman, you look good.
:'''Hangman''': I ''am'' good, Rooster. I'm ''very good''. I'll see you back on deck.

== Cast ==
* [[Tom Cruise]] - Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell 
* {{w|Miles Teller}} - LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw
* {{w|Jennifer Connelly}} - Penelope 'Penny' Benjamin
* {{w|John Hamm}} - Vice Adm. Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson
* {{w|Glen Powell}} - LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin
* {{w|Lewis Pullman}} - LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd
* {{w|Ed Harris}} - Rear Adm. Chester 'Hammer' Cain
* [[Val Kilmer]] - Adm. Tom 'Iceman' Kazanski
* {{w|Monica Barbaro}} - LT Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace
* {{w|Charles Parnell}} - Rear Adm. Solomon 'Warlock' Bates
* {{w|Jay Ellis}} - LT Reuben 'Payback' Fitch
* {{w|Danny Ramirez}} - LT Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia
* [[w:Greg Davis (actor)|Greg Tarzan Davis]] - LT Javy 'Coyote' Machado
* {{w|Manny Jacinto}} - LT Billy 'Fritz' Avalone
* Jack Schumacher - LT Neil 'Omaha' Vikander
* {{w|Bashir Salahuddin}} - CWO4 Bernie 'Hondo' Coleman
* {{w|Jake Picking}} - LT Brigham 'Harvard' Lennox
* [[w:Raymond Lee (actor)|Raymond Lee]] - LT Logan 'Yale' Lee
* Kara Wang - LT Callie 'Halo' Bassett
* {{w|Lyliana Wray}} - Amelia Benjamin
* {{w|Jean Louisa Kelly}} - Sarah Kazanski
* {{w|Chelsea Harris}} - Flag Aide Angela Burke
* [[w:Bob Stephenson (actor)|Bob Stephenson]] - Senior Engineer
* {{w|Anthony Edwards}} - LTJG Nick 'Goose' Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}
* {{w|Meg Ryan}} - Carol Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{imdb title|id=1745960|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=top_gun_maverick|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Action films]]
[[Category:Adventure films]]
[[Category:Drama films]]
[[Category:Airplane films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Films set in California]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158739</id>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-28T02:25:35Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
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      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="13902" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|Top Gun: Maverick}}''''' is a [[w:2022 in film|2022 film]] and a sequel to ''[[Top Gun]]'' about Maverick's return to the United States Navy Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor program, where he must confront his past as he trains a group of younger fighter pilots, among them the son of Maverick's best friend Goose.
:''Directed by {{w|Joseph Kosinski}}. Written by {{w|Ehren Kruger}}, {{w|Eric Warren Singer}} and {{w|Christopher McQuarrie}}. Based on characters by {{w|Jim Cash}} and {{w|Jack Epps Jr.}}''

[[File:F-14 final catapult July 2006.jpg|thumb|Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.]]
[[File:NAS North Island Seal.svg|thumb|&quot;The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;Maybe so, sir. But not today.&quot;]]
[[File:Defense.gov News Photo 051201-N-5088T-001.jpg|thumb|Talk to me, Goose.]]
[[File:Legionnaire of the Legion of Merit.jpg|thumb|&quot;Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are. Captain. Why is that?&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;It's one of life's mysteries, sir.&quot;]]
[[File:2014.020.007 Award, Medal, Navy Cross (13997822835).jpg|thumb|You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back... We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.]]
[[File:F-14 breaks the sound barrier.jpg|thumb|[[Top Gun|Come on, Mav, do some of that pilot shit.]]]]

== Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell ==
* They want Mach 10? Let's give 'em Mach 10.
* ''[Piloting the Darkstar]'' Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.
* ''[Repeated line]'' Talk to me, Goose.

== LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw ==
*[[Top Gun|Come on Mav, do some of that pilot shit!]]
* Talk to me, Dad.

== Rear Admiral Chester Cain ==
* You've got some balls, stick jockey. I'll give you that.

== Others ==
*Amelia Benjamin: Just don't break her heart again.
*Warlock: Captain Mitchell. You're where you belong. Make us proud.
*Hangman: (to Rooster) You give 'em hell!

== Dialogue ==
:'''Rear Admiral Chester 'Hammer' Cain''': ''[going through Maverick's service record]'' Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are...''Captain''. Why is that?
:'''Maverick''': It's one of life's mysteries, sir.
:'''Hammer''': This isn't a joke. I asked you a question.
:'''Maverick''': I'm where I belong, sir.
:'''Hammer''': Well, the Navy doesn't see it that way. Not anymore. Those planes you've been testing, Captain... one day sooner than later they won't need pilots at all. Pilots that need to eat, sleep, take a piss. ''[glares at Maverick]'' Pilots that disobey orders. All you did was buy some time for those men out there. The future is coming, and you're not in it. ''[to the Masters-at-Arms]'' Escort this man off the base. Take him to his quarters. Wait with him while he packs his gear. I want him on the road to North Island within the hour.
:'''Maverick''': North Island, sir?
:'''Hammer''': Call came in with impeccable timing just as I was driving here to ground your ass once and for all. It galls me to say it, but... for reasons known only to the Almighty and your guardian angel... you've been called back to Top Gun.
:'''Maverick''': ''[in disbelief]'' Sir?
:'''Hammer''': You are dismissed, Captain. ''[calling after Maverick as he goes to leave]'' The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.
:'''Maverick''': Maybe so, sir. But not today.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vice Admiral Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson''': I'm Vice Admiral Beau Simpson, the Air Boss. I believe you know Rear Admiral Bates.
:'''Maverick''': Warlock, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Your reputation precedes you.
:'''Maverick''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Wasn't a compliment.
:'''Maverick''': I have to admit I wasn't expecting an invitation back.
:'''Rear Admiral Solomon &quot;Warlock&quot; Bates''': They're called &quot;orders,&quot; Maverick. You two have something in common. Cyclone was first in his class back in '88. 
:'''Maverick''': Actually, sir, I finished second. Just wanted to manage expectations.
:'''Warlock''': The target: An underground uranium enrichment plant built in violation of a multilateral NATO treaty. This plant poses a direct threat to our allies in the region. The Pentagon has tasked us with assembling a strike team and taking it out, before it becomes fully operational.
:''[...]''
:'''Warlock''': What's your read, Captain?
:'''Maverick''': How soon before the plant becomes operational?
:'''Warlock''': Three weeks, maybe less.
:'''Maverick''': Well, sir, normally this would be a cakewalk for the F-35 stealth, but the GPS jamming negates that. I'd make it four F-18s, flying in pairs. That is one hell of a steep climb outta there. And even if you make it past the SAMs, it's a dogfight all the way home.
:'''Warlock''': All scenarios for which you have real-world experience.
:'''Maverick''': Not the same mission, sir. ''[looks back at the screen displaying the enrichment plant]'' No, someone's not coming back from this.
:'''Cyclone''': Can it be done or not?
:'''Maverick''': Well, it's been a while since I've flown an F-18, and I don't know who I'd trust to fly the other three, but-
:'''Warlock''': I think you misunderstand, Captain.
:'''Cyclone''': We don't want you to fly it. We want you to ''teach'' it.
:'''Maverick''': With all due respect, sir, I'm not a teacher.
:'''Cyclone''': You were a Top Gun instructor before.
:'''Maverick''': That was over 30 years ago, sir; I lasted two months. It's not where I belong.
:'''Cyclone''': Well, let me be perfectly blunt: you were not my first choice. You weren't even on a ''list''. You are here at the request of Admiral Kazansky. Now, Iceman happens to be a man I deeply admire. And he feels you still have something left to offer the Navy. What that is I can't imagine. You don't have to take this job. But let me be clear: this will be your last post, Captain. Either you fly for Top Gun, or you don't fly for the Navy ever again.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick visits Iceman]''
:'''Maverick''': Admiral. ''[sits down]'' How's my wingman?
:'''Admiral Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky''': ''[types on his computer]'' I want to talk about work.
:'''Maverick''': Let's not talk about that. Don't worry about me. What can I do for you? ''[Iceman points at the typed words.]'' Rooster is still angry with me for what I did. I thought in time he'd understand why. I hoped he'd forgive me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' There's still time.
:'''Maverick''': Less than three weeks to the mission. The kid is not ready.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' Then teach him.
:'''Maverick''': It's not about what I can give him. Ice, please. Ice, don't ask me to send someone else to die, please- don't ask me to send him. Send me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' It's time to let go.
:'''Maverick''': ''[visibly emotional]'' I don't know how. I'm not a teacher, Ice. I'm a fighter pilot. A naval aviator. It's not what I am, it's who I am. How can I teach that? Even if I could teach it, it's not what Rooster wants. It's not what the Navy wants. That's why they canned me the last time. The only reason I'm here is ''you.'' If I send him on this mission, he may never come home. And if I don't send him... he will never forgive me. Either way, I lose him forever. ''[looks again at the computer screen]'' I know.
:''[Iceman stands up and Maverick rises to meet him]''
:'''Iceman''': ''[whispering]'' The Navy...needs...Maverick. The kid...needs...Maverick. That's why I fought for you. That's why you're still here.
:'''Maverick''': ''[embraces Iceman]'' Thank you, Ice, for everything.
:'''Iceman''': One last thing. Who's the better pilot, you or me?
:'''Maverick''': ''[pauses]'' This is a nice moment, let's not ruin it. ''[they grin and laugh]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick chances upon Rooster at the ready room in the wake of Phoenix and Bob's bird strike]''
:'''Maverick''': They're keeping Phoenix and Bob in the hospital overnight for observation. They're gonna be okay.
:'''Lieutenant Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': That's good. ''[pauses]'' I've never lost a wingman.
:'''Maverick''': You're lucky. Keep flying long enough, it'll happen. There will be others.
:'''Rooster''': Easy for you to say. No wife, no kids. No one to miss you when you burn in.
:'''Maverick''': Get some sleep. ''[goes to leave]''
:'''Rooster''': Why'd you pull my papers at the [[United States Naval Academy|Academy]]? Why did you ''stand in my way?''
:'''Maverick''': You weren't ready.
:'''Rooster''': Ready for what? Huh? Ready to fly like you?
:'''Maverick''': No, ready to forget the book. Trust your instincts! Don't think, just do. [[Top Gun|You think up there, you're dead. Believe me.]]
:'''Rooster''': My dad believed in you. I'm not gonna make the same mistake. 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': There's more than one way to fly this mission.
:'''LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin''': You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back. ''[to Phoenix]'' No offense, Lieutenant.
:'''LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd''': But somehow, you always manage.
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I don't mean to criticize, you're conservative, that's all.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant...
:'''Hangman''': We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. ''[referring to Maverick]'' Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.
:'''Rooster''': What's that supposed to mean?
:'''Maverick''': Rooster...
:'''Hangman''': I can't be the only one that knows that Maverick flew with his old man.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant, that's enough.
:'''Hangman''': Or that Maverick was flying when his old man-
:''[Rooster jumps up and tries to attack Hangman; the other pilots hold him back and separate the two]''
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Rooster''': You son of a bitch!
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I'm cool, I'm cool. Hey.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Hangman''': He's not cut out for this mission.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough.
:'''Hangman''': ''[to Maverick, leaving the room]'' You know it. You know I'm right.
:'''Maverick''': You're all dismissed.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[after Maverick demonstrates that the mission he's trying to teach ''can'' be accomplished]''
:'''Cyclone''': You have put me in a difficult position, Captain. On the one hand, you have demonstrated that this mission can be flown, perhaps the only way it can be survived. On the other hand, you did it by stealing a multi-million dollar military aircraft and flying it in such a manner that it may never be airworthy again. Iceman is no longer here to protect you. I have everything I need to have you court-martialed and dishonorably discharged. So what do I do? Risk the lives of my pilots and perhaps the success of this mission? Or risk my career by appointing you team leader?
:'''Maverick''': Sir...
:'''Warlock''': I think the Admiral is asking a rhetorical question, Captain.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Having spent all ammo shooting down two fifth-generation fighters, Maverick and Rooster are stunned that a third plane is moving to attack - until it is shot down just as it's about to launch a missile that would certainly kill them]''
:'''Hangman''': ''[on radio]'' Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, this is your savior speaking. Please fasten your seat belts, return the tray tables to their locked and upright positions and prepare for landing.
:'''Rooster''': Hey, Hangman, you look good.
:'''Hangman''': I ''am'' good, Rooster. I'm ''very good''. I'll see you back on deck.

== Cast ==
* [[Tom Cruise]] - Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell 
* {{w|Miles Teller}} - LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw
* {{w|Jennifer Connelly}} - Penelope 'Penny' Benjamin
* {{w|John Hamm}} - Vice Adm. Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson
* {{w|Glen Powell}} - LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin
* {{w|Lewis Pullman}} - LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd
* {{w|Ed Harris}} - Rear Adm. Chester 'Hammer' Cain
* [[Val Kilmer]] - Adm. Tom 'Iceman' Kazanski
* {{w|Monica Barbaro}} - LT Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace
* {{w|Charles Parnell}} - Rear Adm. Solomon 'Warlock' Bates
* {{w|Jay Ellis}} - LT Reuben 'Payback' Fitch
* {{w|Danny Ramirez}} - LT Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia
* [[w:Greg Davis (actor)|Greg Tarzan Davis]] - LT Javy 'Coyote' Machado
* {{w|Manny Jacinto}} - LT Billy 'Fritz' Avalone
* Jack Schumacher - LT Neil 'Omaha' Vikander
* {{w|Bashir Salahuddin}} - CWO4 Bernie 'Hondo' Coleman
* {{w|Jake Picking}} - LT Brigham 'Harvard' Lennox
* [[w:Raymond Lee (actor)|Raymond Lee]] - LT Logan 'Yale' Lee
* Kara Wang - LT Callie 'Halo' Bassett
* {{w|Lyliana Wray}} - Amelia Benjamin
* {{w|Jean Louisa Kelly}} - Sarah Kazanski
* {{w|Chelsea Harris}} - Flag Aide Angela Burke
* [[w:Bob Stephenson (actor)|Bob Stephenson]] - Senior Engineer
* {{w|Anthony Edwards}} - LTJG Nick 'Goose' Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}
* {{w|Meg Ryan}} - Carol Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{imdb title|id=1745960|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=top_gun_maverick|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Action films]]
[[Category:Adventure films]]
[[Category:Drama films]]
[[Category:Airplane films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Films set in California]]</text>
      <sha1>l3snbhf5anzomjcr3945nx932k2cu90</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158740</id>
      <parentid>3158739</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T02:26:49Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>24.51.244.211</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>added dialogue</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="13923" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|Top Gun: Maverick}}''''' is a [[w:2022 in film|2022 film]] and a sequel to ''[[Top Gun]]'' about Maverick's return to the United States Navy Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor program, where he must confront his past as he trains a group of younger fighter pilots, among them the son of Maverick's best friend Goose.
:''Directed by {{w|Joseph Kosinski}}. Written by {{w|Ehren Kruger}}, {{w|Eric Warren Singer}} and {{w|Christopher McQuarrie}}. Based on characters by {{w|Jim Cash}} and {{w|Jack Epps Jr.}}''

[[File:F-14 final catapult July 2006.jpg|thumb|Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.]]
[[File:NAS North Island Seal.svg|thumb|&quot;The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;Maybe so, sir. But not today.&quot;]]
[[File:Defense.gov News Photo 051201-N-5088T-001.jpg|thumb|Talk to me, Goose.]]
[[File:Legionnaire of the Legion of Merit.jpg|thumb|&quot;Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are. Captain. Why is that?&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;It's one of life's mysteries, sir.&quot;]]
[[File:2014.020.007 Award, Medal, Navy Cross (13997822835).jpg|thumb|You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back... We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.]]
[[File:F-14 breaks the sound barrier.jpg|thumb|[[Top Gun|Come on, Mav, do some of that pilot shit.]]]]

== Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell ==
* They want Mach 10? Let's give 'em Mach 10.
* ''[Piloting the Darkstar]'' Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.
* ''[Repeated line]'' Talk to me, Goose.

== LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw ==
*[[Top Gun|Come on Mav, do some of that pilot shit!]]
* Talk to me, Dad.

== Rear Admiral Chester Cain ==
* You've got some balls, stick jockey. I'll give you that.

== Others ==
*Amelia Benjamin: Just don't break her heart again.
*Warlock: Captain Mitchell. You're where you belong. Make us proud.
*Hangman: (to Rooster) You give 'em hell!
*Cyclone: Send them.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Rear Admiral Chester 'Hammer' Cain''': ''[going through Maverick's service record]'' Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are...''Captain''. Why is that?
:'''Maverick''': It's one of life's mysteries, sir.
:'''Hammer''': This isn't a joke. I asked you a question.
:'''Maverick''': I'm where I belong, sir.
:'''Hammer''': Well, the Navy doesn't see it that way. Not anymore. Those planes you've been testing, Captain... one day sooner than later they won't need pilots at all. Pilots that need to eat, sleep, take a piss. ''[glares at Maverick]'' Pilots that disobey orders. All you did was buy some time for those men out there. The future is coming, and you're not in it. ''[to the Masters-at-Arms]'' Escort this man off the base. Take him to his quarters. Wait with him while he packs his gear. I want him on the road to North Island within the hour.
:'''Maverick''': North Island, sir?
:'''Hammer''': Call came in with impeccable timing just as I was driving here to ground your ass once and for all. It galls me to say it, but... for reasons known only to the Almighty and your guardian angel... you've been called back to Top Gun.
:'''Maverick''': ''[in disbelief]'' Sir?
:'''Hammer''': You are dismissed, Captain. ''[calling after Maverick as he goes to leave]'' The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.
:'''Maverick''': Maybe so, sir. But not today.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vice Admiral Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson''': I'm Vice Admiral Beau Simpson, the Air Boss. I believe you know Rear Admiral Bates.
:'''Maverick''': Warlock, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Your reputation precedes you.
:'''Maverick''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Wasn't a compliment.
:'''Maverick''': I have to admit I wasn't expecting an invitation back.
:'''Rear Admiral Solomon &quot;Warlock&quot; Bates''': They're called &quot;orders,&quot; Maverick. You two have something in common. Cyclone was first in his class back in '88. 
:'''Maverick''': Actually, sir, I finished second. Just wanted to manage expectations.
:'''Warlock''': The target: An underground uranium enrichment plant built in violation of a multilateral NATO treaty. This plant poses a direct threat to our allies in the region. The Pentagon has tasked us with assembling a strike team and taking it out, before it becomes fully operational.
:''[...]''
:'''Warlock''': What's your read, Captain?
:'''Maverick''': How soon before the plant becomes operational?
:'''Warlock''': Three weeks, maybe less.
:'''Maverick''': Well, sir, normally this would be a cakewalk for the F-35 stealth, but the GPS jamming negates that. I'd make it four F-18s, flying in pairs. That is one hell of a steep climb outta there. And even if you make it past the SAMs, it's a dogfight all the way home.
:'''Warlock''': All scenarios for which you have real-world experience.
:'''Maverick''': Not the same mission, sir. ''[looks back at the screen displaying the enrichment plant]'' No, someone's not coming back from this.
:'''Cyclone''': Can it be done or not?
:'''Maverick''': Well, it's been a while since I've flown an F-18, and I don't know who I'd trust to fly the other three, but-
:'''Warlock''': I think you misunderstand, Captain.
:'''Cyclone''': We don't want you to fly it. We want you to ''teach'' it.
:'''Maverick''': With all due respect, sir, I'm not a teacher.
:'''Cyclone''': You were a Top Gun instructor before.
:'''Maverick''': That was over 30 years ago, sir; I lasted two months. It's not where I belong.
:'''Cyclone''': Well, let me be perfectly blunt: you were not my first choice. You weren't even on a ''list''. You are here at the request of Admiral Kazansky. Now, Iceman happens to be a man I deeply admire. And he feels you still have something left to offer the Navy. What that is I can't imagine. You don't have to take this job. But let me be clear: this will be your last post, Captain. Either you fly for Top Gun, or you don't fly for the Navy ever again.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick visits Iceman]''
:'''Maverick''': Admiral. ''[sits down]'' How's my wingman?
:'''Admiral Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky''': ''[types on his computer]'' I want to talk about work.
:'''Maverick''': Let's not talk about that. Don't worry about me. What can I do for you? ''[Iceman points at the typed words.]'' Rooster is still angry with me for what I did. I thought in time he'd understand why. I hoped he'd forgive me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' There's still time.
:'''Maverick''': Less than three weeks to the mission. The kid is not ready.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' Then teach him.
:'''Maverick''': It's not about what I can give him. Ice, please. Ice, don't ask me to send someone else to die, please- don't ask me to send him. Send me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' It's time to let go.
:'''Maverick''': ''[visibly emotional]'' I don't know how. I'm not a teacher, Ice. I'm a fighter pilot. A naval aviator. It's not what I am, it's who I am. How can I teach that? Even if I could teach it, it's not what Rooster wants. It's not what the Navy wants. That's why they canned me the last time. The only reason I'm here is ''you.'' If I send him on this mission, he may never come home. And if I don't send him... he will never forgive me. Either way, I lose him forever. ''[looks again at the computer screen]'' I know.
:''[Iceman stands up and Maverick rises to meet him]''
:'''Iceman''': ''[whispering]'' The Navy...needs...Maverick. The kid...needs...Maverick. That's why I fought for you. That's why you're still here.
:'''Maverick''': ''[embraces Iceman]'' Thank you, Ice, for everything.
:'''Iceman''': One last thing. Who's the better pilot, you or me?
:'''Maverick''': ''[pauses]'' This is a nice moment, let's not ruin it. ''[they grin and laugh]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick chances upon Rooster at the ready room in the wake of Phoenix and Bob's bird strike]''
:'''Maverick''': They're keeping Phoenix and Bob in the hospital overnight for observation. They're gonna be okay.
:'''Lieutenant Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': That's good. ''[pauses]'' I've never lost a wingman.
:'''Maverick''': You're lucky. Keep flying long enough, it'll happen. There will be others.
:'''Rooster''': Easy for you to say. No wife, no kids. No one to miss you when you burn in.
:'''Maverick''': Get some sleep. ''[goes to leave]''
:'''Rooster''': Why'd you pull my papers at the [[United States Naval Academy|Academy]]? Why did you ''stand in my way?''
:'''Maverick''': You weren't ready.
:'''Rooster''': Ready for what? Huh? Ready to fly like you?
:'''Maverick''': No, ready to forget the book. Trust your instincts! Don't think, just do. [[Top Gun|You think up there, you're dead. Believe me.]]
:'''Rooster''': My dad believed in you. I'm not gonna make the same mistake. 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': There's more than one way to fly this mission.
:'''LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin''': You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back. ''[to Phoenix]'' No offense, Lieutenant.
:'''LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd''': But somehow, you always manage.
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I don't mean to criticize, you're conservative, that's all.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant...
:'''Hangman''': We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. ''[referring to Maverick]'' Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.
:'''Rooster''': What's that supposed to mean?
:'''Maverick''': Rooster...
:'''Hangman''': I can't be the only one that knows that Maverick flew with his old man.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant, that's enough.
:'''Hangman''': Or that Maverick was flying when his old man-
:''[Rooster jumps up and tries to attack Hangman; the other pilots hold him back and separate the two]''
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Rooster''': You son of a bitch!
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I'm cool, I'm cool. Hey.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Hangman''': He's not cut out for this mission.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough.
:'''Hangman''': ''[to Maverick, leaving the room]'' You know it. You know I'm right.
:'''Maverick''': You're all dismissed.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[after Maverick demonstrates that the mission he's trying to teach ''can'' be accomplished]''
:'''Cyclone''': You have put me in a difficult position, Captain. On the one hand, you have demonstrated that this mission can be flown, perhaps the only way it can be survived. On the other hand, you did it by stealing a multi-million dollar military aircraft and flying it in such a manner that it may never be airworthy again. Iceman is no longer here to protect you. I have everything I need to have you court-martialed and dishonorably discharged. So what do I do? Risk the lives of my pilots and perhaps the success of this mission? Or risk my career by appointing you team leader?
:'''Maverick''': Sir...
:'''Warlock''': I think the Admiral is asking a rhetorical question, Captain.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Having spent all ammo shooting down two fifth-generation fighters, Maverick and Rooster are stunned that a third plane is moving to attack - until it is shot down just as it's about to launch a missile that would certainly kill them]''
:'''Hangman''': ''[on radio]'' Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, this is your savior speaking. Please fasten your seat belts, return the tray tables to their locked and upright positions and prepare for landing.
:'''Rooster''': Hey, Hangman, you look good.
:'''Hangman''': I ''am'' good, Rooster. I'm ''very good''. I'll see you back on deck.

== Cast ==
* [[Tom Cruise]] - Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell 
* {{w|Miles Teller}} - LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw
* {{w|Jennifer Connelly}} - Penelope 'Penny' Benjamin
* {{w|John Hamm}} - Vice Adm. Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson
* {{w|Glen Powell}} - LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin
* {{w|Lewis Pullman}} - LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd
* {{w|Ed Harris}} - Rear Adm. Chester 'Hammer' Cain
* [[Val Kilmer]] - Adm. Tom 'Iceman' Kazanski
* {{w|Monica Barbaro}} - LT Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace
* {{w|Charles Parnell}} - Rear Adm. Solomon 'Warlock' Bates
* {{w|Jay Ellis}} - LT Reuben 'Payback' Fitch
* {{w|Danny Ramirez}} - LT Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia
* [[w:Greg Davis (actor)|Greg Tarzan Davis]] - LT Javy 'Coyote' Machado
* {{w|Manny Jacinto}} - LT Billy 'Fritz' Avalone
* Jack Schumacher - LT Neil 'Omaha' Vikander
* {{w|Bashir Salahuddin}} - CWO4 Bernie 'Hondo' Coleman
* {{w|Jake Picking}} - LT Brigham 'Harvard' Lennox
* [[w:Raymond Lee (actor)|Raymond Lee]] - LT Logan 'Yale' Lee
* Kara Wang - LT Callie 'Halo' Bassett
* {{w|Lyliana Wray}} - Amelia Benjamin
* {{w|Jean Louisa Kelly}} - Sarah Kazanski
* {{w|Chelsea Harris}} - Flag Aide Angela Burke
* [[w:Bob Stephenson (actor)|Bob Stephenson]] - Senior Engineer
* {{w|Anthony Edwards}} - LTJG Nick 'Goose' Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}
* {{w|Meg Ryan}} - Carol Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{imdb title|id=1745960|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=top_gun_maverick|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Action films]]
[[Category:Adventure films]]
[[Category:Drama films]]
[[Category:Airplane films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Films set in California]]</text>
      <sha1>td0qhe94yup210ymv15po8mihufvco5</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158741</id>
      <parentid>3158740</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T02:27:36Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>24.51.244.211</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>added dialogue</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="13941" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|Top Gun: Maverick}}''''' is a [[w:2022 in film|2022 film]] and a sequel to ''[[Top Gun]]'' about Maverick's return to the United States Navy Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor program, where he must confront his past as he trains a group of younger fighter pilots, among them the son of Maverick's best friend Goose.
:''Directed by {{w|Joseph Kosinski}}. Written by {{w|Ehren Kruger}}, {{w|Eric Warren Singer}} and {{w|Christopher McQuarrie}}. Based on characters by {{w|Jim Cash}} and {{w|Jack Epps Jr.}}''

[[File:F-14 final catapult July 2006.jpg|thumb|Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.]]
[[File:NAS North Island Seal.svg|thumb|&quot;The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;Maybe so, sir. But not today.&quot;]]
[[File:Defense.gov News Photo 051201-N-5088T-001.jpg|thumb|Talk to me, Goose.]]
[[File:Legionnaire of the Legion of Merit.jpg|thumb|&quot;Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are. Captain. Why is that?&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;It's one of life's mysteries, sir.&quot;]]
[[File:2014.020.007 Award, Medal, Navy Cross (13997822835).jpg|thumb|You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back... We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.]]
[[File:F-14 breaks the sound barrier.jpg|thumb|[[Top Gun|Come on, Mav, do some of that pilot shit.]]]]

== Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell ==
* They want Mach 10? Let's give 'em Mach 10.
* ''[Piloting the Darkstar]'' Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.
* ''[Repeated line]'' Talk to me, Goose.
* Dagger: Attack.

== LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw ==
*[[Top Gun|Come on Mav, do some of that pilot shit!]]
* Talk to me, Dad.

== Rear Admiral Chester Cain ==
* You've got some balls, stick jockey. I'll give you that.

== Others ==
*Amelia Benjamin: Just don't break her heart again.
*Warlock: Captain Mitchell. You're where you belong. Make us proud.
*Hangman: (to Rooster) You give 'em hell!
*Cyclone: Send them.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Rear Admiral Chester 'Hammer' Cain''': ''[going through Maverick's service record]'' Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are...''Captain''. Why is that?
:'''Maverick''': It's one of life's mysteries, sir.
:'''Hammer''': This isn't a joke. I asked you a question.
:'''Maverick''': I'm where I belong, sir.
:'''Hammer''': Well, the Navy doesn't see it that way. Not anymore. Those planes you've been testing, Captain... one day sooner than later they won't need pilots at all. Pilots that need to eat, sleep, take a piss. ''[glares at Maverick]'' Pilots that disobey orders. All you did was buy some time for those men out there. The future is coming, and you're not in it. ''[to the Masters-at-Arms]'' Escort this man off the base. Take him to his quarters. Wait with him while he packs his gear. I want him on the road to North Island within the hour.
:'''Maverick''': North Island, sir?
:'''Hammer''': Call came in with impeccable timing just as I was driving here to ground your ass once and for all. It galls me to say it, but... for reasons known only to the Almighty and your guardian angel... you've been called back to Top Gun.
:'''Maverick''': ''[in disbelief]'' Sir?
:'''Hammer''': You are dismissed, Captain. ''[calling after Maverick as he goes to leave]'' The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.
:'''Maverick''': Maybe so, sir. But not today.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vice Admiral Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson''': I'm Vice Admiral Beau Simpson, the Air Boss. I believe you know Rear Admiral Bates.
:'''Maverick''': Warlock, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Your reputation precedes you.
:'''Maverick''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Wasn't a compliment.
:'''Maverick''': I have to admit I wasn't expecting an invitation back.
:'''Rear Admiral Solomon &quot;Warlock&quot; Bates''': They're called &quot;orders,&quot; Maverick. You two have something in common. Cyclone was first in his class back in '88. 
:'''Maverick''': Actually, sir, I finished second. Just wanted to manage expectations.
:'''Warlock''': The target: An underground uranium enrichment plant built in violation of a multilateral NATO treaty. This plant poses a direct threat to our allies in the region. The Pentagon has tasked us with assembling a strike team and taking it out, before it becomes fully operational.
:''[...]''
:'''Warlock''': What's your read, Captain?
:'''Maverick''': How soon before the plant becomes operational?
:'''Warlock''': Three weeks, maybe less.
:'''Maverick''': Well, sir, normally this would be a cakewalk for the F-35 stealth, but the GPS jamming negates that. I'd make it four F-18s, flying in pairs. That is one hell of a steep climb outta there. And even if you make it past the SAMs, it's a dogfight all the way home.
:'''Warlock''': All scenarios for which you have real-world experience.
:'''Maverick''': Not the same mission, sir. ''[looks back at the screen displaying the enrichment plant]'' No, someone's not coming back from this.
:'''Cyclone''': Can it be done or not?
:'''Maverick''': Well, it's been a while since I've flown an F-18, and I don't know who I'd trust to fly the other three, but-
:'''Warlock''': I think you misunderstand, Captain.
:'''Cyclone''': We don't want you to fly it. We want you to ''teach'' it.
:'''Maverick''': With all due respect, sir, I'm not a teacher.
:'''Cyclone''': You were a Top Gun instructor before.
:'''Maverick''': That was over 30 years ago, sir; I lasted two months. It's not where I belong.
:'''Cyclone''': Well, let me be perfectly blunt: you were not my first choice. You weren't even on a ''list''. You are here at the request of Admiral Kazansky. Now, Iceman happens to be a man I deeply admire. And he feels you still have something left to offer the Navy. What that is I can't imagine. You don't have to take this job. But let me be clear: this will be your last post, Captain. Either you fly for Top Gun, or you don't fly for the Navy ever again.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick visits Iceman]''
:'''Maverick''': Admiral. ''[sits down]'' How's my wingman?
:'''Admiral Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky''': ''[types on his computer]'' I want to talk about work.
:'''Maverick''': Let's not talk about that. Don't worry about me. What can I do for you? ''[Iceman points at the typed words.]'' Rooster is still angry with me for what I did. I thought in time he'd understand why. I hoped he'd forgive me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' There's still time.
:'''Maverick''': Less than three weeks to the mission. The kid is not ready.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' Then teach him.
:'''Maverick''': It's not about what I can give him. Ice, please. Ice, don't ask me to send someone else to die, please- don't ask me to send him. Send me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' It's time to let go.
:'''Maverick''': ''[visibly emotional]'' I don't know how. I'm not a teacher, Ice. I'm a fighter pilot. A naval aviator. It's not what I am, it's who I am. How can I teach that? Even if I could teach it, it's not what Rooster wants. It's not what the Navy wants. That's why they canned me the last time. The only reason I'm here is ''you.'' If I send him on this mission, he may never come home. And if I don't send him... he will never forgive me. Either way, I lose him forever. ''[looks again at the computer screen]'' I know.
:''[Iceman stands up and Maverick rises to meet him]''
:'''Iceman''': ''[whispering]'' The Navy...needs...Maverick. The kid...needs...Maverick. That's why I fought for you. That's why you're still here.
:'''Maverick''': ''[embraces Iceman]'' Thank you, Ice, for everything.
:'''Iceman''': One last thing. Who's the better pilot, you or me?
:'''Maverick''': ''[pauses]'' This is a nice moment, let's not ruin it. ''[they grin and laugh]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick chances upon Rooster at the ready room in the wake of Phoenix and Bob's bird strike]''
:'''Maverick''': They're keeping Phoenix and Bob in the hospital overnight for observation. They're gonna be okay.
:'''Lieutenant Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': That's good. ''[pauses]'' I've never lost a wingman.
:'''Maverick''': You're lucky. Keep flying long enough, it'll happen. There will be others.
:'''Rooster''': Easy for you to say. No wife, no kids. No one to miss you when you burn in.
:'''Maverick''': Get some sleep. ''[goes to leave]''
:'''Rooster''': Why'd you pull my papers at the [[United States Naval Academy|Academy]]? Why did you ''stand in my way?''
:'''Maverick''': You weren't ready.
:'''Rooster''': Ready for what? Huh? Ready to fly like you?
:'''Maverick''': No, ready to forget the book. Trust your instincts! Don't think, just do. [[Top Gun|You think up there, you're dead. Believe me.]]
:'''Rooster''': My dad believed in you. I'm not gonna make the same mistake. 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': There's more than one way to fly this mission.
:'''LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin''': You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back. ''[to Phoenix]'' No offense, Lieutenant.
:'''LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd''': But somehow, you always manage.
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I don't mean to criticize, you're conservative, that's all.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant...
:'''Hangman''': We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. ''[referring to Maverick]'' Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.
:'''Rooster''': What's that supposed to mean?
:'''Maverick''': Rooster...
:'''Hangman''': I can't be the only one that knows that Maverick flew with his old man.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant, that's enough.
:'''Hangman''': Or that Maverick was flying when his old man-
:''[Rooster jumps up and tries to attack Hangman; the other pilots hold him back and separate the two]''
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Rooster''': You son of a bitch!
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I'm cool, I'm cool. Hey.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Hangman''': He's not cut out for this mission.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough.
:'''Hangman''': ''[to Maverick, leaving the room]'' You know it. You know I'm right.
:'''Maverick''': You're all dismissed.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[after Maverick demonstrates that the mission he's trying to teach ''can'' be accomplished]''
:'''Cyclone''': You have put me in a difficult position, Captain. On the one hand, you have demonstrated that this mission can be flown, perhaps the only way it can be survived. On the other hand, you did it by stealing a multi-million dollar military aircraft and flying it in such a manner that it may never be airworthy again. Iceman is no longer here to protect you. I have everything I need to have you court-martialed and dishonorably discharged. So what do I do? Risk the lives of my pilots and perhaps the success of this mission? Or risk my career by appointing you team leader?
:'''Maverick''': Sir...
:'''Warlock''': I think the Admiral is asking a rhetorical question, Captain.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Having spent all ammo shooting down two fifth-generation fighters, Maverick and Rooster are stunned that a third plane is moving to attack - until it is shot down just as it's about to launch a missile that would certainly kill them]''
:'''Hangman''': ''[on radio]'' Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, this is your savior speaking. Please fasten your seat belts, return the tray tables to their locked and upright positions and prepare for landing.
:'''Rooster''': Hey, Hangman, you look good.
:'''Hangman''': I ''am'' good, Rooster. I'm ''very good''. I'll see you back on deck.

== Cast ==
* [[Tom Cruise]] - Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell 
* {{w|Miles Teller}} - LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw
* {{w|Jennifer Connelly}} - Penelope 'Penny' Benjamin
* {{w|John Hamm}} - Vice Adm. Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson
* {{w|Glen Powell}} - LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin
* {{w|Lewis Pullman}} - LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd
* {{w|Ed Harris}} - Rear Adm. Chester 'Hammer' Cain
* [[Val Kilmer]] - Adm. Tom 'Iceman' Kazanski
* {{w|Monica Barbaro}} - LT Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace
* {{w|Charles Parnell}} - Rear Adm. Solomon 'Warlock' Bates
* {{w|Jay Ellis}} - LT Reuben 'Payback' Fitch
* {{w|Danny Ramirez}} - LT Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia
* [[w:Greg Davis (actor)|Greg Tarzan Davis]] - LT Javy 'Coyote' Machado
* {{w|Manny Jacinto}} - LT Billy 'Fritz' Avalone
* Jack Schumacher - LT Neil 'Omaha' Vikander
* {{w|Bashir Salahuddin}} - CWO4 Bernie 'Hondo' Coleman
* {{w|Jake Picking}} - LT Brigham 'Harvard' Lennox
* [[w:Raymond Lee (actor)|Raymond Lee]] - LT Logan 'Yale' Lee
* Kara Wang - LT Callie 'Halo' Bassett
* {{w|Lyliana Wray}} - Amelia Benjamin
* {{w|Jean Louisa Kelly}} - Sarah Kazanski
* {{w|Chelsea Harris}} - Flag Aide Angela Burke
* [[w:Bob Stephenson (actor)|Bob Stephenson]] - Senior Engineer
* {{w|Anthony Edwards}} - LTJG Nick 'Goose' Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}
* {{w|Meg Ryan}} - Carol Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{imdb title|id=1745960|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=top_gun_maverick|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Action films]]
[[Category:Adventure films]]
[[Category:Drama films]]
[[Category:Airplane films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Films set in California]]</text>
      <sha1>g1fchz644pmbhnqyixq1c0a5br8kbhc</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158742</id>
      <parentid>3158741</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T02:28:27Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>24.51.244.211</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="13981" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|Top Gun: Maverick}}''''' is a [[w:2022 in film|2022 film]] and a sequel to ''[[Top Gun]]'' about Maverick's return to the United States Navy Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor program, where he must confront his past as he trains a group of younger fighter pilots, among them the son of Maverick's best friend Goose.
:''Directed by {{w|Joseph Kosinski}}. Written by {{w|Ehren Kruger}}, {{w|Eric Warren Singer}} and {{w|Christopher McQuarrie}}. Based on characters by {{w|Jim Cash}} and {{w|Jack Epps Jr.}}''

[[File:F-14 final catapult July 2006.jpg|thumb|Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.]]
[[File:NAS North Island Seal.svg|thumb|&quot;The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;Maybe so, sir. But not today.&quot;]]
[[File:Defense.gov News Photo 051201-N-5088T-001.jpg|thumb|Talk to me, Goose.]]
[[File:Legionnaire of the Legion of Merit.jpg|thumb|&quot;Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are. Captain. Why is that?&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;It's one of life's mysteries, sir.&quot;]]
[[File:2014.020.007 Award, Medal, Navy Cross (13997822835).jpg|thumb|You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back... We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.]]
[[File:F-14 breaks the sound barrier.jpg|thumb|[[Top Gun|Come on, Mav, do some of that pilot shit.]]]]

== Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell ==
* They want Mach 10? Let's give 'em Mach 10.
* ''[Piloting the Darkstar]'' Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.
* ''[Repeated line]'' Talk to me, Goose.
* Dagger: Attack.

== LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw ==
*[[Top Gun|Come on Mav, do some of that pilot shit!]]
* Talk to me, Dad.
* You've gotta be shitting me. An F-14?

== Rear Admiral Chester Cain ==
* You've got some balls, stick jockey. I'll give you that.

== Others ==
*Amelia Benjamin: Just don't break her heart again.
*Warlock: Captain Mitchell. You're where you belong. Make us proud.
*Hangman: (to Rooster) You give 'em hell!
*Cyclone: Send them.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Rear Admiral Chester 'Hammer' Cain''': ''[going through Maverick's service record]'' Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are...''Captain''. Why is that?
:'''Maverick''': It's one of life's mysteries, sir.
:'''Hammer''': This isn't a joke. I asked you a question.
:'''Maverick''': I'm where I belong, sir.
:'''Hammer''': Well, the Navy doesn't see it that way. Not anymore. Those planes you've been testing, Captain... one day sooner than later they won't need pilots at all. Pilots that need to eat, sleep, take a piss. ''[glares at Maverick]'' Pilots that disobey orders. All you did was buy some time for those men out there. The future is coming, and you're not in it. ''[to the Masters-at-Arms]'' Escort this man off the base. Take him to his quarters. Wait with him while he packs his gear. I want him on the road to North Island within the hour.
:'''Maverick''': North Island, sir?
:'''Hammer''': Call came in with impeccable timing just as I was driving here to ground your ass once and for all. It galls me to say it, but... for reasons known only to the Almighty and your guardian angel... you've been called back to Top Gun.
:'''Maverick''': ''[in disbelief]'' Sir?
:'''Hammer''': You are dismissed, Captain. ''[calling after Maverick as he goes to leave]'' The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.
:'''Maverick''': Maybe so, sir. But not today.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vice Admiral Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson''': I'm Vice Admiral Beau Simpson, the Air Boss. I believe you know Rear Admiral Bates.
:'''Maverick''': Warlock, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Your reputation precedes you.
:'''Maverick''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Wasn't a compliment.
:'''Maverick''': I have to admit I wasn't expecting an invitation back.
:'''Rear Admiral Solomon &quot;Warlock&quot; Bates''': They're called &quot;orders,&quot; Maverick. You two have something in common. Cyclone was first in his class back in '88. 
:'''Maverick''': Actually, sir, I finished second. Just wanted to manage expectations.
:'''Warlock''': The target: An underground uranium enrichment plant built in violation of a multilateral NATO treaty. This plant poses a direct threat to our allies in the region. The Pentagon has tasked us with assembling a strike team and taking it out, before it becomes fully operational.
:''[...]''
:'''Warlock''': What's your read, Captain?
:'''Maverick''': How soon before the plant becomes operational?
:'''Warlock''': Three weeks, maybe less.
:'''Maverick''': Well, sir, normally this would be a cakewalk for the F-35 stealth, but the GPS jamming negates that. I'd make it four F-18s, flying in pairs. That is one hell of a steep climb outta there. And even if you make it past the SAMs, it's a dogfight all the way home.
:'''Warlock''': All scenarios for which you have real-world experience.
:'''Maverick''': Not the same mission, sir. ''[looks back at the screen displaying the enrichment plant]'' No, someone's not coming back from this.
:'''Cyclone''': Can it be done or not?
:'''Maverick''': Well, it's been a while since I've flown an F-18, and I don't know who I'd trust to fly the other three, but-
:'''Warlock''': I think you misunderstand, Captain.
:'''Cyclone''': We don't want you to fly it. We want you to ''teach'' it.
:'''Maverick''': With all due respect, sir, I'm not a teacher.
:'''Cyclone''': You were a Top Gun instructor before.
:'''Maverick''': That was over 30 years ago, sir; I lasted two months. It's not where I belong.
:'''Cyclone''': Well, let me be perfectly blunt: you were not my first choice. You weren't even on a ''list''. You are here at the request of Admiral Kazansky. Now, Iceman happens to be a man I deeply admire. And he feels you still have something left to offer the Navy. What that is I can't imagine. You don't have to take this job. But let me be clear: this will be your last post, Captain. Either you fly for Top Gun, or you don't fly for the Navy ever again.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick visits Iceman]''
:'''Maverick''': Admiral. ''[sits down]'' How's my wingman?
:'''Admiral Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky''': ''[types on his computer]'' I want to talk about work.
:'''Maverick''': Let's not talk about that. Don't worry about me. What can I do for you? ''[Iceman points at the typed words.]'' Rooster is still angry with me for what I did. I thought in time he'd understand why. I hoped he'd forgive me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' There's still time.
:'''Maverick''': Less than three weeks to the mission. The kid is not ready.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' Then teach him.
:'''Maverick''': It's not about what I can give him. Ice, please. Ice, don't ask me to send someone else to die, please- don't ask me to send him. Send me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' It's time to let go.
:'''Maverick''': ''[visibly emotional]'' I don't know how. I'm not a teacher, Ice. I'm a fighter pilot. A naval aviator. It's not what I am, it's who I am. How can I teach that? Even if I could teach it, it's not what Rooster wants. It's not what the Navy wants. That's why they canned me the last time. The only reason I'm here is ''you.'' If I send him on this mission, he may never come home. And if I don't send him... he will never forgive me. Either way, I lose him forever. ''[looks again at the computer screen]'' I know.
:''[Iceman stands up and Maverick rises to meet him]''
:'''Iceman''': ''[whispering]'' The Navy...needs...Maverick. The kid...needs...Maverick. That's why I fought for you. That's why you're still here.
:'''Maverick''': ''[embraces Iceman]'' Thank you, Ice, for everything.
:'''Iceman''': One last thing. Who's the better pilot, you or me?
:'''Maverick''': ''[pauses]'' This is a nice moment, let's not ruin it. ''[they grin and laugh]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick chances upon Rooster at the ready room in the wake of Phoenix and Bob's bird strike]''
:'''Maverick''': They're keeping Phoenix and Bob in the hospital overnight for observation. They're gonna be okay.
:'''Lieutenant Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': That's good. ''[pauses]'' I've never lost a wingman.
:'''Maverick''': You're lucky. Keep flying long enough, it'll happen. There will be others.
:'''Rooster''': Easy for you to say. No wife, no kids. No one to miss you when you burn in.
:'''Maverick''': Get some sleep. ''[goes to leave]''
:'''Rooster''': Why'd you pull my papers at the [[United States Naval Academy|Academy]]? Why did you ''stand in my way?''
:'''Maverick''': You weren't ready.
:'''Rooster''': Ready for what? Huh? Ready to fly like you?
:'''Maverick''': No, ready to forget the book. Trust your instincts! Don't think, just do. [[Top Gun|You think up there, you're dead. Believe me.]]
:'''Rooster''': My dad believed in you. I'm not gonna make the same mistake. 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': There's more than one way to fly this mission.
:'''LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin''': You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back. ''[to Phoenix]'' No offense, Lieutenant.
:'''LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd''': But somehow, you always manage.
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I don't mean to criticize, you're conservative, that's all.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant...
:'''Hangman''': We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. ''[referring to Maverick]'' Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.
:'''Rooster''': What's that supposed to mean?
:'''Maverick''': Rooster...
:'''Hangman''': I can't be the only one that knows that Maverick flew with his old man.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant, that's enough.
:'''Hangman''': Or that Maverick was flying when his old man-
:''[Rooster jumps up and tries to attack Hangman; the other pilots hold him back and separate the two]''
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Rooster''': You son of a bitch!
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I'm cool, I'm cool. Hey.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Hangman''': He's not cut out for this mission.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough.
:'''Hangman''': ''[to Maverick, leaving the room]'' You know it. You know I'm right.
:'''Maverick''': You're all dismissed.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[after Maverick demonstrates that the mission he's trying to teach ''can'' be accomplished]''
:'''Cyclone''': You have put me in a difficult position, Captain. On the one hand, you have demonstrated that this mission can be flown, perhaps the only way it can be survived. On the other hand, you did it by stealing a multi-million dollar military aircraft and flying it in such a manner that it may never be airworthy again. Iceman is no longer here to protect you. I have everything I need to have you court-martialed and dishonorably discharged. So what do I do? Risk the lives of my pilots and perhaps the success of this mission? Or risk my career by appointing you team leader?
:'''Maverick''': Sir...
:'''Warlock''': I think the Admiral is asking a rhetorical question, Captain.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Having spent all ammo shooting down two fifth-generation fighters, Maverick and Rooster are stunned that a third plane is moving to attack - until it is shot down just as it's about to launch a missile that would certainly kill them]''
:'''Hangman''': ''[on radio]'' Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, this is your savior speaking. Please fasten your seat belts, return the tray tables to their locked and upright positions and prepare for landing.
:'''Rooster''': Hey, Hangman, you look good.
:'''Hangman''': I ''am'' good, Rooster. I'm ''very good''. I'll see you back on deck.

== Cast ==
* [[Tom Cruise]] - Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell 
* {{w|Miles Teller}} - LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw
* {{w|Jennifer Connelly}} - Penelope 'Penny' Benjamin
* {{w|John Hamm}} - Vice Adm. Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson
* {{w|Glen Powell}} - LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin
* {{w|Lewis Pullman}} - LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd
* {{w|Ed Harris}} - Rear Adm. Chester 'Hammer' Cain
* [[Val Kilmer]] - Adm. Tom 'Iceman' Kazanski
* {{w|Monica Barbaro}} - LT Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace
* {{w|Charles Parnell}} - Rear Adm. Solomon 'Warlock' Bates
* {{w|Jay Ellis}} - LT Reuben 'Payback' Fitch
* {{w|Danny Ramirez}} - LT Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia
* [[w:Greg Davis (actor)|Greg Tarzan Davis]] - LT Javy 'Coyote' Machado
* {{w|Manny Jacinto}} - LT Billy 'Fritz' Avalone
* Jack Schumacher - LT Neil 'Omaha' Vikander
* {{w|Bashir Salahuddin}} - CWO4 Bernie 'Hondo' Coleman
* {{w|Jake Picking}} - LT Brigham 'Harvard' Lennox
* [[w:Raymond Lee (actor)|Raymond Lee]] - LT Logan 'Yale' Lee
* Kara Wang - LT Callie 'Halo' Bassett
* {{w|Lyliana Wray}} - Amelia Benjamin
* {{w|Jean Louisa Kelly}} - Sarah Kazanski
* {{w|Chelsea Harris}} - Flag Aide Angela Burke
* [[w:Bob Stephenson (actor)|Bob Stephenson]] - Senior Engineer
* {{w|Anthony Edwards}} - LTJG Nick 'Goose' Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}
* {{w|Meg Ryan}} - Carol Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{imdb title|id=1745960|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=top_gun_maverick|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Action films]]
[[Category:Adventure films]]
[[Category:Drama films]]
[[Category:Airplane films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Films set in California]]</text>
      <sha1>qe2mb7fss07fkp1eabyokzvvup3ez3e</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158743</id>
      <parentid>3158742</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T02:29:41Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>24.51.244.211</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>added dialogue</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="14048" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|Top Gun: Maverick}}''''' is a [[w:2022 in film|2022 film]] and a sequel to ''[[Top Gun]]'' about Maverick's return to the United States Navy Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor program, where he must confront his past as he trains a group of younger fighter pilots, among them the son of Maverick's best friend Goose.
:''Directed by {{w|Joseph Kosinski}}. Written by {{w|Ehren Kruger}}, {{w|Eric Warren Singer}} and {{w|Christopher McQuarrie}}. Based on characters by {{w|Jim Cash}} and {{w|Jack Epps Jr.}}''

[[File:F-14 final catapult July 2006.jpg|thumb|Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.]]
[[File:NAS North Island Seal.svg|thumb|&quot;The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;Maybe so, sir. But not today.&quot;]]
[[File:Defense.gov News Photo 051201-N-5088T-001.jpg|thumb|Talk to me, Goose.]]
[[File:Legionnaire of the Legion of Merit.jpg|thumb|&quot;Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are. Captain. Why is that?&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;It's one of life's mysteries, sir.&quot;]]
[[File:2014.020.007 Award, Medal, Navy Cross (13997822835).jpg|thumb|You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back... We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.]]
[[File:F-14 breaks the sound barrier.jpg|thumb|[[Top Gun|Come on, Mav, do some of that pilot shit.]]]]

== Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell ==
* They want Mach 10? Let's give 'em Mach 10.
* ''[Piloting the Darkstar]'' Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.
* ''[Repeated line]'' Talk to me, Goose.
* Dagger: Attack.
* ''[Climbing into an F-14 cockpit]'' It's been a minute, huh Mav?

== LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw ==
*[[Top Gun|Come on Mav, do some of that pilot shit!]]
* Talk to me, Dad.
* You've gotta be shitting me. An F-14?

== Rear Admiral Chester Cain ==
* You've got some balls, stick jockey. I'll give you that.

== Others ==
*Amelia Benjamin: Just don't break her heart again.
*Warlock: Captain Mitchell. You're where you belong. Make us proud.
*Hangman: (to Rooster) You give 'em hell!
*Cyclone: Send them.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Rear Admiral Chester 'Hammer' Cain''': ''[going through Maverick's service record]'' Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are...''Captain''. Why is that?
:'''Maverick''': It's one of life's mysteries, sir.
:'''Hammer''': This isn't a joke. I asked you a question.
:'''Maverick''': I'm where I belong, sir.
:'''Hammer''': Well, the Navy doesn't see it that way. Not anymore. Those planes you've been testing, Captain... one day sooner than later they won't need pilots at all. Pilots that need to eat, sleep, take a piss. ''[glares at Maverick]'' Pilots that disobey orders. All you did was buy some time for those men out there. The future is coming, and you're not in it. ''[to the Masters-at-Arms]'' Escort this man off the base. Take him to his quarters. Wait with him while he packs his gear. I want him on the road to North Island within the hour.
:'''Maverick''': North Island, sir?
:'''Hammer''': Call came in with impeccable timing just as I was driving here to ground your ass once and for all. It galls me to say it, but... for reasons known only to the Almighty and your guardian angel... you've been called back to Top Gun.
:'''Maverick''': ''[in disbelief]'' Sir?
:'''Hammer''': You are dismissed, Captain. ''[calling after Maverick as he goes to leave]'' The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.
:'''Maverick''': Maybe so, sir. But not today.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vice Admiral Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson''': I'm Vice Admiral Beau Simpson, the Air Boss. I believe you know Rear Admiral Bates.
:'''Maverick''': Warlock, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Your reputation precedes you.
:'''Maverick''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Wasn't a compliment.
:'''Maverick''': I have to admit I wasn't expecting an invitation back.
:'''Rear Admiral Solomon &quot;Warlock&quot; Bates''': They're called &quot;orders,&quot; Maverick. You two have something in common. Cyclone was first in his class back in '88. 
:'''Maverick''': Actually, sir, I finished second. Just wanted to manage expectations.
:'''Warlock''': The target: An underground uranium enrichment plant built in violation of a multilateral NATO treaty. This plant poses a direct threat to our allies in the region. The Pentagon has tasked us with assembling a strike team and taking it out, before it becomes fully operational.
:''[...]''
:'''Warlock''': What's your read, Captain?
:'''Maverick''': How soon before the plant becomes operational?
:'''Warlock''': Three weeks, maybe less.
:'''Maverick''': Well, sir, normally this would be a cakewalk for the F-35 stealth, but the GPS jamming negates that. I'd make it four F-18s, flying in pairs. That is one hell of a steep climb outta there. And even if you make it past the SAMs, it's a dogfight all the way home.
:'''Warlock''': All scenarios for which you have real-world experience.
:'''Maverick''': Not the same mission, sir. ''[looks back at the screen displaying the enrichment plant]'' No, someone's not coming back from this.
:'''Cyclone''': Can it be done or not?
:'''Maverick''': Well, it's been a while since I've flown an F-18, and I don't know who I'd trust to fly the other three, but-
:'''Warlock''': I think you misunderstand, Captain.
:'''Cyclone''': We don't want you to fly it. We want you to ''teach'' it.
:'''Maverick''': With all due respect, sir, I'm not a teacher.
:'''Cyclone''': You were a Top Gun instructor before.
:'''Maverick''': That was over 30 years ago, sir; I lasted two months. It's not where I belong.
:'''Cyclone''': Well, let me be perfectly blunt: you were not my first choice. You weren't even on a ''list''. You are here at the request of Admiral Kazansky. Now, Iceman happens to be a man I deeply admire. And he feels you still have something left to offer the Navy. What that is I can't imagine. You don't have to take this job. But let me be clear: this will be your last post, Captain. Either you fly for Top Gun, or you don't fly for the Navy ever again.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick visits Iceman]''
:'''Maverick''': Admiral. ''[sits down]'' How's my wingman?
:'''Admiral Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky''': ''[types on his computer]'' I want to talk about work.
:'''Maverick''': Let's not talk about that. Don't worry about me. What can I do for you? ''[Iceman points at the typed words.]'' Rooster is still angry with me for what I did. I thought in time he'd understand why. I hoped he'd forgive me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' There's still time.
:'''Maverick''': Less than three weeks to the mission. The kid is not ready.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' Then teach him.
:'''Maverick''': It's not about what I can give him. Ice, please. Ice, don't ask me to send someone else to die, please- don't ask me to send him. Send me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' It's time to let go.
:'''Maverick''': ''[visibly emotional]'' I don't know how. I'm not a teacher, Ice. I'm a fighter pilot. A naval aviator. It's not what I am, it's who I am. How can I teach that? Even if I could teach it, it's not what Rooster wants. It's not what the Navy wants. That's why they canned me the last time. The only reason I'm here is ''you.'' If I send him on this mission, he may never come home. And if I don't send him... he will never forgive me. Either way, I lose him forever. ''[looks again at the computer screen]'' I know.
:''[Iceman stands up and Maverick rises to meet him]''
:'''Iceman''': ''[whispering]'' The Navy...needs...Maverick. The kid...needs...Maverick. That's why I fought for you. That's why you're still here.
:'''Maverick''': ''[embraces Iceman]'' Thank you, Ice, for everything.
:'''Iceman''': One last thing. Who's the better pilot, you or me?
:'''Maverick''': ''[pauses]'' This is a nice moment, let's not ruin it. ''[they grin and laugh]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick chances upon Rooster at the ready room in the wake of Phoenix and Bob's bird strike]''
:'''Maverick''': They're keeping Phoenix and Bob in the hospital overnight for observation. They're gonna be okay.
:'''Lieutenant Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': That's good. ''[pauses]'' I've never lost a wingman.
:'''Maverick''': You're lucky. Keep flying long enough, it'll happen. There will be others.
:'''Rooster''': Easy for you to say. No wife, no kids. No one to miss you when you burn in.
:'''Maverick''': Get some sleep. ''[goes to leave]''
:'''Rooster''': Why'd you pull my papers at the [[United States Naval Academy|Academy]]? Why did you ''stand in my way?''
:'''Maverick''': You weren't ready.
:'''Rooster''': Ready for what? Huh? Ready to fly like you?
:'''Maverick''': No, ready to forget the book. Trust your instincts! Don't think, just do. [[Top Gun|You think up there, you're dead. Believe me.]]
:'''Rooster''': My dad believed in you. I'm not gonna make the same mistake. 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': There's more than one way to fly this mission.
:'''LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin''': You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back. ''[to Phoenix]'' No offense, Lieutenant.
:'''LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd''': But somehow, you always manage.
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I don't mean to criticize, you're conservative, that's all.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant...
:'''Hangman''': We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. ''[referring to Maverick]'' Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.
:'''Rooster''': What's that supposed to mean?
:'''Maverick''': Rooster...
:'''Hangman''': I can't be the only one that knows that Maverick flew with his old man.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant, that's enough.
:'''Hangman''': Or that Maverick was flying when his old man-
:''[Rooster jumps up and tries to attack Hangman; the other pilots hold him back and separate the two]''
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Rooster''': You son of a bitch!
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I'm cool, I'm cool. Hey.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Hangman''': He's not cut out for this mission.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough.
:'''Hangman''': ''[to Maverick, leaving the room]'' You know it. You know I'm right.
:'''Maverick''': You're all dismissed.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[after Maverick demonstrates that the mission he's trying to teach ''can'' be accomplished]''
:'''Cyclone''': You have put me in a difficult position, Captain. On the one hand, you have demonstrated that this mission can be flown, perhaps the only way it can be survived. On the other hand, you did it by stealing a multi-million dollar military aircraft and flying it in such a manner that it may never be airworthy again. Iceman is no longer here to protect you. I have everything I need to have you court-martialed and dishonorably discharged. So what do I do? Risk the lives of my pilots and perhaps the success of this mission? Or risk my career by appointing you team leader?
:'''Maverick''': Sir...
:'''Warlock''': I think the Admiral is asking a rhetorical question, Captain.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Having spent all ammo shooting down two fifth-generation fighters, Maverick and Rooster are stunned that a third plane is moving to attack - until it is shot down just as it's about to launch a missile that would certainly kill them]''
:'''Hangman''': ''[on radio]'' Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, this is your savior speaking. Please fasten your seat belts, return the tray tables to their locked and upright positions and prepare for landing.
:'''Rooster''': Hey, Hangman, you look good.
:'''Hangman''': I ''am'' good, Rooster. I'm ''very good''. I'll see you back on deck.

== Cast ==
* [[Tom Cruise]] - Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell 
* {{w|Miles Teller}} - LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw
* {{w|Jennifer Connelly}} - Penelope 'Penny' Benjamin
* {{w|John Hamm}} - Vice Adm. Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson
* {{w|Glen Powell}} - LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin
* {{w|Lewis Pullman}} - LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd
* {{w|Ed Harris}} - Rear Adm. Chester 'Hammer' Cain
* [[Val Kilmer]] - Adm. Tom 'Iceman' Kazanski
* {{w|Monica Barbaro}} - LT Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace
* {{w|Charles Parnell}} - Rear Adm. Solomon 'Warlock' Bates
* {{w|Jay Ellis}} - LT Reuben 'Payback' Fitch
* {{w|Danny Ramirez}} - LT Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia
* [[w:Greg Davis (actor)|Greg Tarzan Davis]] - LT Javy 'Coyote' Machado
* {{w|Manny Jacinto}} - LT Billy 'Fritz' Avalone
* Jack Schumacher - LT Neil 'Omaha' Vikander
* {{w|Bashir Salahuddin}} - CWO4 Bernie 'Hondo' Coleman
* {{w|Jake Picking}} - LT Brigham 'Harvard' Lennox
* [[w:Raymond Lee (actor)|Raymond Lee]] - LT Logan 'Yale' Lee
* Kara Wang - LT Callie 'Halo' Bassett
* {{w|Lyliana Wray}} - Amelia Benjamin
* {{w|Jean Louisa Kelly}} - Sarah Kazanski
* {{w|Chelsea Harris}} - Flag Aide Angela Burke
* [[w:Bob Stephenson (actor)|Bob Stephenson]] - Senior Engineer
* {{w|Anthony Edwards}} - LTJG Nick 'Goose' Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}
* {{w|Meg Ryan}} - Carol Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{imdb title|id=1745960|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=top_gun_maverick|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Action films]]
[[Category:Adventure films]]
[[Category:Drama films]]
[[Category:Airplane films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Films set in California]]</text>
      <sha1>48dxyve7y5mqrwmfu394mfnl9qf9c4p</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158744</id>
      <parentid>3158743</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T02:34:36Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>24.51.244.211</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>added dialogue</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="14163" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|Top Gun: Maverick}}''''' is a [[w:2022 in film|2022 film]] and a sequel to ''[[Top Gun]]'' about Maverick's return to the United States Navy Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor program, where he must confront his past as he trains a group of younger fighter pilots, among them the son of Maverick's best friend Goose.
:''Directed by {{w|Joseph Kosinski}}. Written by {{w|Ehren Kruger}}, {{w|Eric Warren Singer}} and {{w|Christopher McQuarrie}}. Based on characters by {{w|Jim Cash}} and {{w|Jack Epps Jr.}}''

[[File:F-14 final catapult July 2006.jpg|thumb|Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.]]
[[File:NAS North Island Seal.svg|thumb|&quot;The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;Maybe so, sir. But not today.&quot;]]
[[File:Defense.gov News Photo 051201-N-5088T-001.jpg|thumb|Talk to me, Goose.]]
[[File:Legionnaire of the Legion of Merit.jpg|thumb|&quot;Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are. Captain. Why is that?&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;It's one of life's mysteries, sir.&quot;]]
[[File:2014.020.007 Award, Medal, Navy Cross (13997822835).jpg|thumb|You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back... We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.]]
[[File:F-14 breaks the sound barrier.jpg|thumb|[[Top Gun|Come on, Mav, do some of that pilot shit.]]]]

== Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell ==
* They want Mach 10? Let's give 'em Mach 10.
* ''[Piloting the Darkstar]'' Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.
* ''[Repeated line]'' Talk to me, Goose.
* Dagger: Attack.
* ''[Climbing into an F-14 cockpit]'' It's been a minute, huh Mav?

== LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw ==
*[[Top Gun|Come on Mav, do some of that pilot shit!]]
* Talk to me, Dad.
* You've gotta be shitting me. An F-14?

== Rear Admiral Chester Cain ==
* You've got some balls, stick jockey. I'll give you that.

== Others ==
*Amelia Benjamin: Just don't break her heart again.
*Warlock: Captain Mitchell. You're where you belong. Make us proud.
*Hangman: (to Rooster) You give 'em hell!
*Cyclone: Send them.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Rear Admiral Chester 'Hammer' Cain''': ''[going through Maverick's service record]'' Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are...''Captain''. Why is that?
:'''Maverick''': It's one of life's mysteries, sir.
:'''Hammer''': This isn't a joke. I asked you a question.
:'''Maverick''': I'm where I belong, sir.
:'''Hammer''': Well, the Navy doesn't see it that way. Not anymore. Those planes you've been testing, Captain... one day sooner than later they won't need pilots at all. Pilots that need to eat, sleep, take a piss. ''[glares at Maverick]'' Pilots that disobey orders. All you did was buy some time for those men out there. The future is coming, and you're not in it. ''[to the Masters-at-Arms]'' Escort this man off the base. Take him to his quarters. Wait with him while he packs his gear. I want him on the road to North Island within the hour.
:'''Maverick''': North Island, sir?
:'''Hammer''': Call came in with impeccable timing just as I was driving here to ground your ass once and for all. It galls me to say it, but... for reasons known only to the Almighty and your guardian angel... you've been called back to Top Gun.
:'''Maverick''': ''[in disbelief]'' Sir?
:'''Hammer''': You are dismissed, Captain. ''[calling after Maverick as he goes to leave]'' The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.
:'''Maverick''': Maybe so, sir. But not today.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vice Admiral Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson''': I'm Vice Admiral Beau Simpson, the Air Boss. I believe you know Rear Admiral Bates.
:'''Maverick''': Warlock, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Your reputation precedes you.
:'''Maverick''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Wasn't a compliment.
:'''Maverick''': I have to admit I wasn't expecting an invitation back.
:'''Rear Admiral Solomon &quot;Warlock&quot; Bates''': They're called &quot;orders,&quot; Maverick. You two have something in common. Cyclone was first in his class back in '88. 
:'''Maverick''': Actually, sir, I finished second. Just wanted to manage expectations.
:'''Warlock''': The target: An underground uranium enrichment plant built in violation of a multilateral NATO treaty. This plant poses a direct threat to our allies in the region. The Pentagon has tasked us with assembling a strike team and taking it out, before it becomes fully operational.
:''[...]''
:'''Warlock''': What's your read, Captain?
:'''Maverick''': How soon before the plant becomes operational?
:'''Warlock''': Three weeks, maybe less.
:'''Maverick''': Well, sir, normally this would be a cakewalk for the F-35 stealth, but the GPS jamming negates that. I'd make it four F-18s, flying in pairs. That is one hell of a steep climb outta there. And even if you make it past the SAMs, it's a dogfight all the way home.
:'''Warlock''': All scenarios for which you have real-world experience.
:'''Maverick''': Not the same mission, sir. ''[looks back at the screen displaying the enrichment plant]'' No, someone's not coming back from this.
:'''Cyclone''': Can it be done or not?
:'''Maverick''': Well, it's been a while since I've flown an F-18, and I don't know who I'd trust to fly the other three, but-
:'''Warlock''': I think you misunderstand, Captain.
:'''Cyclone''': We don't want you to fly it. We want you to ''teach'' it.
:'''Maverick''': With all due respect, sir, I'm not a teacher.
:'''Cyclone''': You were a Top Gun instructor before.
:'''Maverick''': That was over 30 years ago, sir; I lasted two months. It's not where I belong.
:'''Cyclone''': Well, let me be perfectly blunt: you were not my first choice. You weren't even on a ''list''. You are here at the request of Admiral Kazansky. Now, Iceman happens to be a man I deeply admire. And he feels you still have something left to offer the Navy. What that is I can't imagine. You don't have to take this job. But let me be clear: this will be your last post, Captain. Either you fly for Top Gun, or you don't fly for the Navy ever again.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick visits Iceman]''
:'''Maverick''': Admiral. ''[sits down]'' How's my wingman?
:'''Admiral Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky''': ''[types on his computer]'' I want to talk about work.
:'''Maverick''': Let's not talk about that. Don't worry about me. What can I do for you? ''[Iceman points at the typed words.]'' Rooster is still angry with me for what I did. I thought in time he'd understand why. I hoped he'd forgive me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' There's still time.
:'''Maverick''': Less than three weeks to the mission. The kid is not ready.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' Then teach him.
:'''Maverick''': It's not about what I can give him. Ice, please. Ice, don't ask me to send someone else to die, please- don't ask me to send him. Send me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' It's time to let go.
:'''Maverick''': ''[visibly emotional]'' I don't know how. I'm not a teacher, Ice. I'm a fighter pilot. A naval aviator. It's not what I am, it's who I am. How can I teach that? Even if I could teach it, it's not what Rooster wants. It's not what the Navy wants. That's why they canned me the last time. The only reason I'm here is ''you.'' If I send him on this mission, he may never come home. And if I don't send him... he will never forgive me. Either way, I lose him forever. ''[looks again at the computer screen]'' I know.
:''[Iceman stands up and Maverick rises to meet him]''
:'''Iceman''': ''[whispering]'' The Navy...needs...Maverick. The kid...needs...Maverick. That's why I fought for you. That's why you're still here.
:'''Maverick''': ''[embraces Iceman]'' Thank you, Ice, for everything.
:'''Iceman''': One last thing. Who's the better pilot, you or me?
:'''Maverick''': ''[pauses]'' This is a nice moment, let's not ruin it. ''[they grin and laugh]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick chances upon Rooster at the ready room in the wake of Phoenix and Bob's bird strike]''
:'''Maverick''': They're keeping Phoenix and Bob in the hospital overnight for observation. They're gonna be okay.
:'''Lieutenant Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': That's good. ''[pauses]'' I've never lost a wingman.
:'''Maverick''': You're lucky. Keep flying long enough, it'll happen. There will be others.
:'''Rooster''': Easy for you to say. No wife, no kids. No one to miss you when you burn in.
:'''Maverick''': Get some sleep. ''[goes to leave]''
:'''Rooster''': Why'd you pull my papers at the [[United States Naval Academy|Academy]]? Why did you ''stand in my way?''
:'''Maverick''': You weren't ready.
:'''Rooster''': Ready for what? Huh? Ready to fly like you?
:'''Maverick''': No, ready to forget the book. Trust your instincts! Don't think, just do. [[Top Gun|You think up there, you're dead. Believe me.]]
:'''Rooster''': My dad believed in you. I'm not gonna make the same mistake. 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': There's more than one way to fly this mission.
:'''LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin''': You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back. ''[to Phoenix]'' No offense, Lieutenant.
:'''LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd''': But somehow, you always manage.
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I don't mean to criticize, you're conservative, that's all.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant...
:'''Hangman''': We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. ''[referring to Maverick]'' Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.
:'''Rooster''': What's that supposed to mean?
:'''Maverick''': Rooster...
:'''Hangman''': I can't be the only one that knows that Maverick flew with his old man.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant, that's enough.
:'''Hangman''': Or that Maverick was flying when his old man-
:''[Rooster jumps up and tries to attack Hangman; the other pilots hold him back and separate the two]''
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Rooster''': You son of a bitch!
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I'm cool, I'm cool. Hey.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Hangman''': He's not cut out for this mission.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough.
:'''Hangman''': ''[to Maverick, leaving the room]'' You know it. You know I'm right.
:'''Maverick''': You're all dismissed.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[after Maverick demonstrates that the mission he's trying to teach ''can'' be accomplished]''
:'''Cyclone''': You have put me in a difficult position, Captain. On the one hand, you have demonstrated that this mission can be flown, perhaps the only way it can be survived. On the other hand, you did it by stealing a multi-million dollar military aircraft and flying it in such a manner that it may never be airworthy again. Iceman is no longer here to protect you. I have everything I need to have you court-martialed and dishonorably discharged. So what do I do? Risk the lives of my pilots and perhaps the success of this mission? Or risk my career by appointing you team leader?
:'''Maverick''': Sir...
:'''Warlock''': I think the Admiral is asking a rhetorical question, Captain.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Having spent all ammo shooting down two fifth-generation fighters, Maverick and Rooster are stunned that a third plane is moving to attack - until it is shot down just as it's about to launch a missile that would certainly kill them]''
:'''Hangman''': ''[on radio]'' Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, this is your savior speaking. Please fasten your seat belts, return the tray tables to their locked and upright positions and prepare for landing.
:'''Rooster''': Hey, Hangman, you look good.
:'''Hangman''': I ''am'' good, Rooster. I'm ''very good''. I'll see you back on deck.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Maverick''': Thank you for saving my life. 
:'''Rooster''': It's what my dad would have done.

== Cast ==
* [[Tom Cruise]] - Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell 
* {{w|Miles Teller}} - LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw
* {{w|Jennifer Connelly}} - Penelope 'Penny' Benjamin
* {{w|John Hamm}} - Vice Adm. Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson
* {{w|Glen Powell}} - LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin
* {{w|Lewis Pullman}} - LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd
* {{w|Ed Harris}} - Rear Adm. Chester 'Hammer' Cain
* [[Val Kilmer]] - Adm. Tom 'Iceman' Kazanski
* {{w|Monica Barbaro}} - LT Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace
* {{w|Charles Parnell}} - Rear Adm. Solomon 'Warlock' Bates
* {{w|Jay Ellis}} - LT Reuben 'Payback' Fitch
* {{w|Danny Ramirez}} - LT Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia
* [[w:Greg Davis (actor)|Greg Tarzan Davis]] - LT Javy 'Coyote' Machado
* {{w|Manny Jacinto}} - LT Billy 'Fritz' Avalone
* Jack Schumacher - LT Neil 'Omaha' Vikander
* {{w|Bashir Salahuddin}} - CWO4 Bernie 'Hondo' Coleman
* {{w|Jake Picking}} - LT Brigham 'Harvard' Lennox
* [[w:Raymond Lee (actor)|Raymond Lee]] - LT Logan 'Yale' Lee
* Kara Wang - LT Callie 'Halo' Bassett
* {{w|Lyliana Wray}} - Amelia Benjamin
* {{w|Jean Louisa Kelly}} - Sarah Kazanski
* {{w|Chelsea Harris}} - Flag Aide Angela Burke
* [[w:Bob Stephenson (actor)|Bob Stephenson]] - Senior Engineer
* {{w|Anthony Edwards}} - LTJG Nick 'Goose' Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}
* {{w|Meg Ryan}} - Carol Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{imdb title|id=1745960|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=top_gun_maverick|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Action films]]
[[Category:Adventure films]]
[[Category:Drama films]]
[[Category:Airplane films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Films set in California]]</text>
      <sha1>8qc099r8pf1ue741d4elidwrookyvlv</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158745</id>
      <parentid>3158744</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T02:42:11Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>24.51.244.211</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>added dialogue</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="14621" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|Top Gun: Maverick}}''''' is a [[w:2022 in film|2022 film]] and a sequel to ''[[Top Gun]]'' about Maverick's return to the United States Navy Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor program, where he must confront his past as he trains a group of younger fighter pilots, among them the son of Maverick's best friend Goose.
:''Directed by {{w|Joseph Kosinski}}. Written by {{w|Ehren Kruger}}, {{w|Eric Warren Singer}} and {{w|Christopher McQuarrie}}. Based on characters by {{w|Jim Cash}} and {{w|Jack Epps Jr.}}''

[[File:F-14 final catapult July 2006.jpg|thumb|Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.]]
[[File:NAS North Island Seal.svg|thumb|&quot;The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;Maybe so, sir. But not today.&quot;]]
[[File:Defense.gov News Photo 051201-N-5088T-001.jpg|thumb|Talk to me, Goose.]]
[[File:Legionnaire of the Legion of Merit.jpg|thumb|&quot;Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are. Captain. Why is that?&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;It's one of life's mysteries, sir.&quot;]]
[[File:2014.020.007 Award, Medal, Navy Cross (13997822835).jpg|thumb|You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back... We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.]]
[[File:F-14 breaks the sound barrier.jpg|thumb|[[Top Gun|Come on, Mav, do some of that pilot shit.]]]]

== Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell ==
* They want Mach 10? Let's give 'em Mach 10.
* ''[Piloting the Darkstar]'' Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.
* ''[Repeated line]'' Talk to me, Goose.
* Dagger: Attack.
* ''[Climbing into an F-14 cockpit]'' It's been a minute, huh Mav?

== LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw ==
*[[Top Gun|Come on Mav, do some of that pilot shit!]]
* Talk to me, Dad.
* You've gotta be shitting me. An F-14?

== Rear Admiral Chester Cain ==
* You've got some balls, stick jockey. I'll give you that.

== Others ==
*Amelia Benjamin: Just don't break her heart again.
*Warlock: Captain Mitchell. You're where you belong. Make us proud.
*Hangman: (to Rooster) You give 'em hell!
*Cyclone: Send them.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Rear Admiral Chester 'Hammer' Cain''': ''[going through Maverick's service record]'' Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are...''Captain''. Why is that?
:'''Maverick''': It's one of life's mysteries, sir.
:'''Hammer''': This isn't a joke. I asked you a question.
:'''Maverick''': I'm where I belong, sir.
:'''Hammer''': Well, the Navy doesn't see it that way. Not anymore. Those planes you've been testing, Captain... one day sooner than later they won't need pilots at all. Pilots that need to eat, sleep, take a piss. ''[glares at Maverick]'' Pilots that disobey orders. All you did was buy some time for those men out there. The future is coming, and you're not in it. ''[to the Masters-at-Arms]'' Escort this man off the base. Take him to his quarters. Wait with him while he packs his gear. I want him on the road to North Island within the hour.
:'''Maverick''': North Island, sir?
:'''Hammer''': Call came in with impeccable timing just as I was driving here to ground your ass once and for all. It galls me to say it, but... for reasons known only to the Almighty and your guardian angel... you've been called back to Top Gun.
:'''Maverick''': ''[in disbelief]'' Sir?
:'''Hammer''': You are dismissed, Captain. ''[calling after Maverick as he goes to leave]'' The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.
:'''Maverick''': Maybe so, sir. But not today.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vice Admiral Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson''': I'm Vice Admiral Beau Simpson, the Air Boss. I believe you know Rear Admiral Bates.
:'''Maverick''': Warlock, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Your reputation precedes you.
:'''Maverick''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Cyclone''': Wasn't a compliment.
:'''Maverick''': I have to admit I wasn't expecting an invitation back.
:'''Rear Admiral Solomon &quot;Warlock&quot; Bates''': They're called &quot;orders,&quot; Maverick. You two have something in common. Cyclone was first in his class back in '88. 
:'''Maverick''': Actually, sir, I finished second. Just wanted to manage expectations.
:'''Warlock''': The target: An underground uranium enrichment plant built in violation of a multilateral NATO treaty. This plant poses a direct threat to our allies in the region. The Pentagon has tasked us with assembling a strike team and taking it out, before it becomes fully operational.
:''[...]''
:'''Warlock''': What's your read, Captain?
:'''Maverick''': How soon before the plant becomes operational?
:'''Warlock''': Three weeks, maybe less.
:'''Maverick''': Well, sir, normally this would be a cakewalk for the F-35 stealth, but the GPS jamming negates that. I'd make it four F-18s, flying in pairs. That is one hell of a steep climb outta there. And even if you make it past the SAMs, it's a dogfight all the way home.
:'''Warlock''': All scenarios for which you have real-world experience.
:'''Maverick''': Not the same mission, sir. ''[looks back at the screen displaying the enrichment plant]'' No, someone's not coming back from this.
:'''Cyclone''': Can it be done or not?
:'''Maverick''': Well, it's been a while since I've flown an F-18, and I don't know who I'd trust to fly the other three, but-
:'''Warlock''': I think you misunderstand, Captain.
:'''Cyclone''': We don't want you to fly it. We want you to ''teach'' it.
:'''Maverick''': With all due respect, sir, I'm not a teacher.
:'''Cyclone''': You were a Top Gun instructor before.
:'''Maverick''': That was over 30 years ago, sir; I lasted two months. It's not where I belong.
:'''Cyclone''': Well, let me be perfectly blunt: you were not my first choice. You weren't even on a ''list''. You are here at the request of Admiral Kazansky. Now, Iceman happens to be a man I deeply admire. And he feels you still have something left to offer the Navy. What that is I can't imagine. You don't have to take this job. But let me be clear: this will be your last post, Captain. Either you fly for Top Gun, or you don't fly for the Navy ever again.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick visits Iceman]''
:'''Maverick''': Admiral. ''[sits down]'' How's my wingman?
:'''Admiral Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky''': ''[types on his computer]'' I want to talk about work.
:'''Maverick''': Let's not talk about that. Don't worry about me. What can I do for you? ''[Iceman points at the typed words.]'' Rooster is still angry with me for what I did. I thought in time he'd understand why. I hoped he'd forgive me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' There's still time.
:'''Maverick''': Less than three weeks to the mission. The kid is not ready.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' Then teach him.
:'''Maverick''': It's not about what I can give him. Ice, please. Ice, don't ask me to send someone else to die, please- don't ask me to send him. Send me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' It's time to let go.
:'''Maverick''': ''[visibly emotional]'' I don't know how. I'm not a teacher, Ice. I'm a fighter pilot. A naval aviator. It's not what I am, it's who I am. How can I teach that? Even if I could teach it, it's not what Rooster wants. It's not what the Navy wants. That's why they canned me the last time. The only reason I'm here is ''you.'' If I send him on this mission, he may never come home. And if I don't send him... he will never forgive me. Either way, I lose him forever. ''[looks again at the computer screen]'' I know.
:''[Iceman stands up and Maverick rises to meet him]''
:'''Iceman''': ''[whispering]'' The Navy...needs...Maverick. The kid...needs...Maverick. That's why I fought for you. That's why you're still here.
:'''Maverick''': ''[embraces Iceman]'' Thank you, Ice, for everything.
:'''Iceman''': One last thing. Who's the better pilot, you or me?
:'''Maverick''': ''[pauses]'' This is a nice moment, let's not ruin it. ''[they grin and laugh]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick chances upon Rooster at the ready room in the wake of Phoenix and Bob's bird strike]''
:'''Maverick''': They're keeping Phoenix and Bob in the hospital overnight for observation. They're gonna be okay.
:'''Lieutenant Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': That's good. ''[pauses]'' I've never lost a wingman.
:'''Maverick''': You're lucky. Keep flying long enough, it'll happen. There will be others.
:'''Rooster''': Easy for you to say. No wife, no kids. No one to miss you when you burn in.
:'''Maverick''': Get some sleep. ''[goes to leave]''
:'''Rooster''': Why'd you pull my papers at the [[United States Naval Academy|Academy]]? Why did you ''stand in my way?''
:'''Maverick''': You weren't ready.
:'''Rooster''': Ready for what? Huh? Ready to fly like you?
:'''Maverick''': No, ready to forget the book. Trust your instincts! Don't think, just do. [[Top Gun|You think up there, you're dead. Believe me.]]
:'''Rooster''': My dad believed in you. I'm not gonna make the same mistake. 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': There's more than one way to fly this mission.
:'''LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin''': You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back. ''[to Phoenix]'' No offense, Lieutenant.
:'''LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd''': But somehow, you always manage.
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I don't mean to criticize, you're conservative, that's all.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant...
:'''Hangman''': We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. ''[referring to Maverick]'' Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.
:'''Rooster''': What's that supposed to mean?
:'''Maverick''': Rooster...
:'''Hangman''': I can't be the only one that knows that Maverick flew with his old man.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant, that's enough.
:'''Hangman''': Or that Maverick was flying when his old man-
:''[Rooster jumps up and tries to attack Hangman; the other pilots hold him back and separate the two]''
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Rooster''': You son of a bitch!
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I'm cool, I'm cool. Hey.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Hangman''': He's not cut out for this mission.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough.
:'''Hangman''': ''[to Maverick, leaving the room]'' You know it. You know I'm right.
:'''Maverick''': You're all dismissed.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[after Maverick demonstrates that the mission he's trying to teach ''can'' be accomplished]''
:'''Cyclone''': You have put me in a difficult position, Captain. On the one hand, you have demonstrated that this mission can be flown, perhaps the only way it can be survived. On the other hand, you did it by stealing a multi-million dollar military aircraft and flying it in such a manner that it may never be airworthy again. Iceman is no longer here to protect you. I have everything I need to have you court-martialed and dishonorably discharged. So what do I do? Risk the lives of my pilots and perhaps the success of this mission? Or risk my career by appointing you team leader?
:'''Maverick''': Sir...
:'''Warlock''': I think the Admiral is asking a rhetorical question, Captain.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick and Rooster's F-14 is shadowed by two enemy fighters]''
:'''Rooster''': Mav, can we outrun these guys? 
:'''Maverick''': Not their missiles and guns.
:'''Rooster''': Then it's a dogfight. 
:'''Maverick''': In an F-14? Against fifth-gen fighters?
:'''Rooster''': It's not the plane, it's the pilot. You'd go after 'em if I wasn't here. 
:'''Maverick''': But you ''are'' here. 
:'''Rooster''': Come on, Mav. Don't think. Just do.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Having spent all ammo shooting down two fifth-generation fighters, Maverick and Rooster are stunned that a third plane is moving to attack - until it is shot down just as it's about to launch a missile that would certainly kill them]''
:'''Hangman''': ''[on radio]'' Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, this is your savior speaking. Please fasten your seat belts, return the tray tables to their locked and upright positions and prepare for landing.
:'''Rooster''': Hey, Hangman, you look good.
:'''Hangman''': I ''am'' good, Rooster. I'm ''very good''. I'll see you back on deck.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Maverick''': Thank you for saving my life. 
:'''Rooster''': It's what my dad would have done.

== Cast ==
* [[Tom Cruise]] - Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell 
* {{w|Miles Teller}} - LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw
* {{w|Jennifer Connelly}} - Penelope 'Penny' Benjamin
* {{w|John Hamm}} - Vice Adm. Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson
* {{w|Glen Powell}} - LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin
* {{w|Lewis Pullman}} - LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd
* {{w|Ed Harris}} - Rear Adm. Chester 'Hammer' Cain
* [[Val Kilmer]] - Adm. Tom 'Iceman' Kazanski
* {{w|Monica Barbaro}} - LT Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace
* {{w|Charles Parnell}} - Rear Adm. Solomon 'Warlock' Bates
* {{w|Jay Ellis}} - LT Reuben 'Payback' Fitch
* {{w|Danny Ramirez}} - LT Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia
* [[w:Greg Davis (actor)|Greg Tarzan Davis]] - LT Javy 'Coyote' Machado
* {{w|Manny Jacinto}} - LT Billy 'Fritz' Avalone
* Jack Schumacher - LT Neil 'Omaha' Vikander
* {{w|Bashir Salahuddin}} - CWO4 Bernie 'Hondo' Coleman
* {{w|Jake Picking}} - LT Brigham 'Harvard' Lennox
* [[w:Raymond Lee (actor)|Raymond Lee]] - LT Logan 'Yale' Lee
* Kara Wang - LT Callie 'Halo' Bassett
* {{w|Lyliana Wray}} - Amelia Benjamin
* {{w|Jean Louisa Kelly}} - Sarah Kazanski
* {{w|Chelsea Harris}} - Flag Aide Angela Burke
* [[w:Bob Stephenson (actor)|Bob Stephenson]] - Senior Engineer
* {{w|Anthony Edwards}} - LTJG Nick 'Goose' Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}
* {{w|Meg Ryan}} - Carol Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{imdb title|id=1745960|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=top_gun_maverick|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Action films]]
[[Category:Adventure films]]
[[Category:Drama films]]
[[Category:Airplane films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Films set in California]]</text>
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    <title>Obi-Wan Kenobi (TV series)</title>
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      <comment>Reverted edit by [[User:24.42.179.206|24.42.179.206]] ([[User talk:24.42.179.206|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/24.42.179.206|contributions]]) to last version by Eaglestorm</comment>
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'''''[[w:Obi-Wan Kenobi (TV series)|Obi-Wan Kenobi]]''''' (2022) is a six-part miniseries based on Star Wars, airing on Disney+, centered around exiled Jedi Master Obi-Wan &quot;Ben&quot; Kenobi.

== Season 1 ==
=== ''Part I'' (1.1)===
:''[In Mos Eisley, Obi-Wan is unhitching his eopie from its stable when a bag is tossed at his feet - the skyhopper toy he had obtained from the Jawas. Owen Lars is in the doorway, glaring.]''
:'''Owen Lars''': I want you to stay away from him. We don't need anything from you, Ben.
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': It's just a toy.
:'''Owen''': It's a lot more than that.
:'''Obi-Wan''': There's more to life than your farm, Owen. He needs to see that. There's a whole galaxy out there.
:'''Owen''': I'm asking you... to leave us alone, Ben. I mean it.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Is he okay?
:'''Owen''': You don't care if he's okay. You care if he's showing.
:'''Obi-Wan''': He's my responsibility, Owen.
:'''Owen''': Well, I'm his uncle.
:'''Obi-Wan''': We talked about this. When the time comes, he must be trained.
:'''Owen''': Like you trained his father? Anakin is dead, Ben, and I won't let you make the same mistake twice. So leave him on the farm, with his family, where he belongs.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[At the saloon in Mos Eisley, the Grand Inquisitor and his agents interrogate the manager.]''
:'''The Grand Inquisitor''': You know who we are?
:'''Bar Manager''': Inquisitors.
:'''The Grand Inquisitor''': You know what we do?
:'''Bar Manager''': You hunt Jedi.
:'''The Grand Inquisitor''': In actuality, I would say the Jedi hunt themselves. Do you know the key to hunting Jedi, friend? It is patience. Jedi cannot help what they are. Their compassion... leaves a trail. For example, in our line of work, rumors run rampant. Here’s one I heard just recently: it involves a Jedi, hiding, right here in your lovely saloon. Let’s say ours is a wanderer. Maybe he’s looking for people like him. He comes across this establishment, nice place. Then, he sees... You. A man in need. Perhaps the locals are stealing from you. Threatening you. So what is the Jedi to do? Help you, and risk exposure? Or move on? Now if he were smart he’d keep moving, but the Jedi code is like an itch; he cannot help it! So he steps in and saves your saloon. You offer him a place to hide, fresh water, shade from the suns, but the stories, they begin, and they travel quickly... His compassion has been his undoing.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Obi-Wan is waylaid by another Jedi who has been in hiding in the town]''
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': Stay hidden. Live a normal life.
:'''Nari''': What about the people that need us? What about the fight?
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': The fight is done. We lost.
:'''Nari''': What happened to you? You were once a great Jedi.
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': The time of the Jedi is over. Go back to the town. Let it go.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[On Alderaan, Senator Bail Organa deals with his ten-year-old adoptive daughter Leia after an incident at a reception.]''
:'''Bail Organa''': I wanted to live out ''way'' past Kathou when I was your age. Chase purrgil, you know? I had a whole plan.
:'''Leia Organa''': What happened?
:'''Bail''': I got older. Had to find some other adventures. Started chasing your mother instead. This is your future, Leia. In a few years, you'll be off to university, then Junior Senate.
:'''Leia''': The Senate's boring. It's people in itchy clothes arguing.
:'''Bail''': ''[chuckles]'' Well, it may seem so...
:'''Leia''': I don't want to be a senator.
:'''Bail''': Which is why you'll probably be one of the best.
:'''Leia''': ''[glumly]'' I'm not even a real Organa.
:'''Bail''': What...? ''[kneels next to her]'' Don't ever say that. You are our child. You are an Organa in every way. One day, this planet will look to ''you'', Leia. There are many ways to lead. You just have to find yours.

=== ''Part II'' (1.2) ===
:'''The Grand Inquisitor''': ''[to the Third Sister]'' Whatever power you are craving, it will not change what you are: The least of us.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Haja Estree''': I am Haja Estree, Jedi. I help all who are in need. In return, I ask only a few credits. The shadows are my realm, for the light is an unforgiving place for my kind.
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': Of course. How much?
:'''Haja Estree''': Five hundred to locate the girl, another three hundred to take you to her.
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': Goodness, that light is unforgiving.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': ''[to Haja Estree]'' You're a bottom-feeder, a rat who preys on weakness. But in my experience, rats know more about the sewers than anyone else.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The Third Sister hunts for Obi-Wan at the cargo port on Daiyu.]''
:'''Third Sister''': You don't have to worry. You're not going to die... ''today''. I'm just going to take you to him. Lord Vader will be pleased.
:''[Obi-Wan looks horrified, knowing full well who Vader is]''
:'''Third Sister''': You didn't know. He's alive, Obi-Wan. Anakin Skywalker is alive. And he's been looking for ''you'' for a long time.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[On the automated transport to Mapuzo, Obi-Wan struggles with the Third Sister's revelation.]''
:'''Leia Organa''': ''[faintly]'' What is it? Are you okay?
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': ''[whispers]'' Anakin.
:''[Within his fortress on Mustafar, Darth Vader - formerly Anakin Skywalker - awakens...]''

=== ''Part III'' (1.3) ===
:''[Third Sister has contacted Darth Vader regarding Obi-Wan's whereabouts]''
:'''Darth Vader''': Where is he?
:'''Third Sister''': ''[via hologram]'' We have probes out. We're tracking all possible exits. He will pay for the Grand Inquisitor's-
:'''Darth Vader''': The Grand Inquisitor means nothing. Kenobi is all that matters now. Is that understood?
:'''Third Sister''': Yes, my Lord.
:'''Darth Vader''': I have been watching you, Third Sister. I know what it is you seek. Prove yourself, and the position of Grand Inquisitor is yours. Fail me, and you will not live to regret it.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Obi-Wan is looking at the writings surviving Jedi left in the safehouse and stops at one of them]''
:'''Leia Organa''': What does it say?
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': &quot;Only when the eyes are closed can you truly see.&quot;
:'''Leia Organa''': See what?
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': The Way.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Leia Organa''': How does it work? The Force. What does it feel like?
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': Have you ever been afraid of the dark? ''[Leia nods]'' How does it feel when you turn on the light?
:'''Leia Organa''': I feel safe.
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': Yes, it feels like that.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:''[Obi-Wan is confronted by Vader on Mapuzo]''
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': What have you become?
:'''Darth Vader''': I am what you've made me.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Darth Vader''': The years have made you weak.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Darth Vader''': You should have killed me when you had the chance.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:''[Darth Vader has Obi-Wan Kenobi in a Force hold, with the ground between them on fire]''
:'''Darth Vader''': Now ''you'' will suffer, Obi-Wan! ''[Vader slams Obi-Wan into the ground and drags him into the fire]'' Your pain has just begun.

=== ''Part IV'' (1.4) ===
:''[A furious Darth Vader arrives at Fortress Inquisitorius on Nur after Obi-Wan rescues Leia, and begins Force-choking the Third Sister, lifting her off the floor.]''
:'''Darth Vader''': You were warned what defeat would bring! I will tolerate your weakness... ''no longer''.
:'''Third Sister''': ''[struggling]'' I... I let them go. ''[Vader relaxes his grip]'' I put a tracker on the ship. Soon the location of the network and Kenobi will be ours.
:''[Vader gently lowers her to the floor.]''
:'''Darth Vader''': It seems I have underestimated you.
:'''Fifth Brother''': But my Lord, the base was almost destroyed!
:'''Third Sister''': Kenobi is all that matters.
:'''Darth Vader''': There can be no mistakes. You're certain the tracker is with ''him''?
:'''Third Sister''': Yes, my Lord. Where he goes, it will follow.

=== ''Part V'' (1.5) ===
:''[Flashback to Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan on Coruscant]''
:'''Anakin Skywalker''': I was beginning to think you weren't coming... Master.
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': Good. Then maybe I stand more of a chance this time. ''[Anakin ignites his lightsaber]'' Are you ready?
:'''Anakin Skywalker''': Are ''you''?
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': ''[ignites his lightsaber]'' Then let's begin.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': You grow too aggressive, Anakin! Be mindful! A Jedi's goal is to defend life, not take it! ''[Anakin charges Obi-Wan, they end up back-to-back]''
:'''Anakin Skywalker''': Mercy doesn't defeat the enemy, Master. ''[resumes his attack]'' Which is why you're gonna ''lose''!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Grand Inquisitor''': Hello, Third Sister.  Revenge does wonders for the will to live, don't you think? Your rage was useful. Now, it is tiresome. We will leave you where we found you: in the gutter, where you belong. Goodbye... ''[removes Grand Inquisitor pin from Reva's uniform]'' &quot;Grand Inquisitor&quot;.

=== ''Part VI'' (1.6) ===
:'''Darth Vader''': Have you come to destroy me, Obi-Wan?
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''':  ''[ignites lightsaber]'' I will do what I must.
:'''Darth Vader''': Then you will die.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Obi-Wan has sliced open Darth Vader's mask, revealing the scarred face of Anakin beneath]''
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': Anakin...
:'''Darth Vader''': ''[distorted voice]'' Anakin is gone. I'm what remains.
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': ''[tearfully]'' I'm sorry... I'm sorry, Anakin... for all of it.
:'''Darth Vader''': I'm not your failure, Obi-Wan. You... didn't kill... Anakin Skywalker. ''I did''. The same way... I will destroy you!
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': ''[pauses]'' Then my friend is truly dead. Goodbye... Darth.
:'''Darth Vader''': Obi-Wan! ''[collapses]'' OBI-WAN!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Darth Vader''': The probes are tracking every system within range. We will destroy everything in our path until he is found!
:'''Emperor Palpatine''': You seem agitated, my friend.
:'''Darth Vader''': He will not evade me again.
:'''Emperor Palpatine''': I wonder if your thoughts on this are clear, Lord Vader. Perhaps your feelings for your old Master have left you weakened. If your past cannot be overcome...
:'''Darth Vader''': ''[pauses]'' Kenobi means nothing. I serve only you, my Master.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Riding through the Jundland Wastes on his eopie, Obi-Wan encounters a familiar presence in the Force...]''
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': Master Qui-Gon?
:''[The Force ghost of Qui-Gon Jinn turns, an amused look on his face]''
:'''Qui-Gon Jinn''': Well! Took you long enough.
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': I was beginning to think you'd never come.
:'''Qui-Gon Jinn''': I was always here, Obi-Wan. You just... were not ready to see. ''[beckons]'' Come on! We've got a ways to go.

== Cast ==
* [[w:Ewan McGregor|Ewan McGregor]] - Obi-Wan &quot;Ben&quot; Kenobi
* [[w:Vivien Lyra Blair|Vivien Lyra Blair]] - Princess Leia Organa
* [[w:Hayden Christensen|Hayden Christensen]] and [[w:James Earl Jones|James Earl Jones]] - Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader
* [[w:Rupert Friend|Rupert Friend]] - The Grand Inquisitor
* [[w:Moses Ingram|Moses Ingram]] - Reva Sevander/The Third Sister 
* [[w:Joel Edgerton|Joel Edgerton]] - Owen Lars
* [[w:Jimmy Smits|Jimmy Smits]] - Senator Bail Organa

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}} 
* {{imdb title|8466564|Obi-Wan Kenobi}}
* {{official website|https://www.starwars.com/series/obi-wan-kenobi}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Obi-Wan Kenobi}}
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]</text>
      <sha1>iwa74zoge38p4n9w1yk970jeua9hm8c</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>User talk:Koavf</title>
    <ns>3</ns>
    <id>248292</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158534</id>
      <parentid>3158501</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T17:08:45Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Koavf</username>
        <id>6765</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Revdel request 10 */ Reply</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="93724" xml:space="preserve">{{User talk:Koavf/Template:Archive}}
&lt;!-- Please leave comments below this line. --&gt;

== Template:Username ==

Could you please make [[Template:Username]] show the User’s name? I need it for several Templates. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:19, 12 June 2022 (UTC)

:What do you have in mind? Does {{tl|Ping}} not work? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:53, 12 June 2022 (UTC)
::I mean the user viewing it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:56, 12 June 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|Kalki}} [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:12, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}}
::::I have no idea what you need. What would the template do? How would you use it? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:42, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::A template that displays the username or IP address of the user viewing it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:49, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::Do you have an example on another wiki that does this? I recalled that there was a magic word for this, but I can't seem to find it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:45, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::No, but this is still a very useful *potential* feature. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:45, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

== Request to add Editnotice ==

Could you add [[User:Ilovemydoodle/FakeBlockMessage|this]] Editnotice to my User and User Talk pages? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:38, 15 June 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} Are you sure you want that message? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:39, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::Yes. Thank you, you are the best admin. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:52, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::Also, it isn't showing up, could you fix this?

::Edit: I think you need to create the page [[Mediawiki:Editnotice-2-Ilovemydoodle|here]] (and [[Mediawiki:Editnotice-3-Ilovemydoodle|here]] for the Talk Page) for it to actually work. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:54, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::That doesn't seem to have done the trick. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:02, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Maybe try some test text instead? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:04, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::I can. Seems like your hack should work, per [[mw:Manual:Interface/Edit notice]], tho. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:05, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::Maybe file a phab report? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:07, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I fixed it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:12, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Could you also protect the page so only I and Administrators can edit it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:50, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::No, there's no way to do that, other than by manually blocking that one page from every user who isn't an admin or you. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:53, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:
{| style=&quot;border: 1px solid gray; background-color: #fdffe7;&quot;
|rowspan=&quot;2&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align:middle;&quot; | [[File:SpecialBarnstar.png|100px]]
|rowspan=&quot;2&quot; |
|style=&quot;font-size: x-large; padding: 0; vertical-align: middle; height: 1.1em;&quot; | '''The Special Barnstar'''
|-
|style=&quot;vertical-align: middle; border-top: 1px solid gray;&quot; | For actually doing this, I think most other Administrators take themselves to far too seriously to do something like this.
|} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:29, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

:Thanks kindly. I'm here to serve. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:35, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

== Merge fork ==

Could you merge my fork of [[Joe Biden]] into the main page (revisions included)? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:59, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

:Probably, but you have to meet me half-way here and link to said fork. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:03, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::[[User:Ilovemydoodle/forks/Main/Joe Biden]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:05, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::&quot;No revisions can be merged.&quot; —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:09, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Why? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:16, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::¯\_(ツ)_/¯ —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:17, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::Try now. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:19, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::&quot;No revisions can be merged.&quot; —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:35, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Maybe try importing them instead? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:37, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::How? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:37, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Okay I figured it, this might sound strange, but it should work, merge [[Joe Biden]] into my fork, delete the original [[Joe Biden]] page and then move my fork to [[Joe Biden]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:49, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::&quot;Source revisions overlap or come after destination revisions.&quot; You should just edit the main article. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:00, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:04, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::Also, do you have any work for me to do on Wikiquote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:05, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::Wow, great question. I think the best thing that can happen here is if someone helps to bring more [[m:Structured Wikiquote|structure and semantics to Wikiquote]]. On a structural level, that is beyond any one person fixing, but anyone can add templates, metadata, etc. E.g. if you cite a source, include a citation template or use proper list semantics, such as not putting line breaks between bullets in a list. That and adding accessibility features like [[:w:en:WP:ALT|alt text]] are important issues to me. Thanks for asking and for all you do around here. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:50, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::I have been doing some of these things for while now, I will continue to do so also doing the other things you mentioned, but I was mainly looking for one or two shorter tasks to do now. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:10, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::Hi {{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, in terms of work to do on Wikiquote:
*[[:Category:Wikiquote no intro]] need intros
*[[:Category:Video games]]' contents needs sorting into categories by year
*[[:Category:Wikiquote cleanup]] has hundreds of articles needing cleanup
*[[Flooding]] could potentially be an article rather than redirect, not 100 percent sure though, depends on quotability.
*There are many entire countries with no article yet. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 16:46, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::Also thank you again Koavf for the admin/maintenance work. I hope we get to see you back at enwiki eventually. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 19:21, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::Thanks, RC! —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:46, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::No worries. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 19:51, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

== Feature ==

Help, I really needed a feature added that lets a Template tell which skin your using. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:58, 19 June 2022 (UTC)

:Wow, I have no idea how to do that. You want to be a thrid party that knows which skin someone is using? I'm not sure that is an option. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:09, 19 June 2022 (UTC)
::I really need it, apparently the background of my talk page break certain features, but only on one skin, and after fixing now it only works on that skin and doesn't work on others, so I really need this fixed, maybe something using css files? 

::Edit: I figured it out, just add some css to the css file for each skin:

::* [[Mediawiki:vector.css]]
::* [[Mediawiki:vector-2022.css]]
::* [[Mediawiki:minerva.css]]
::* [[Mediawiki:monobook.css]]
::* [[Mediawiki:timeless.css]]

::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:55, 19 June 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:23, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
::::I'm confused why you're pinging me. You just wrote, &quot;I figured it out&quot;, so I thought there was no action for me here. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:35, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::No, I meant that I figured out how YOU can fix it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:52, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::What do you want me to insert in the CSS files? I'm reluctant to do this as it will modify the site for all users, but I'm not entirely opposed. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:03, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Just make it you have something that only appears when that skin is active.

:::::::Edit: You can do this by making something invisible in common.css and then setting it visible in the skin’s css file. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:05, 20 June 2022 (UTC)

== Feature request ==

Could you make a very useful JavaScript hack for me? Ping me when your ready and I'll give you more information. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:21, 23 June 2022 (UTC)

:I'm putting something on my calendar for next weekend--I'm busy this weekend. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:42, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
::Could you please do the other request above, though? (I really need it for something) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:44, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
:::All of them exist except one. I'll add a comment to it and then I suppose that resolves it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:53, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
::::No I mean in each file could you put:
::::&lt;code&gt;span.show-[skin name here] {display: initial;}&lt;/code&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;code&gt;span.hide-[skin name here] {display: none;}&lt;/code&gt;
::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:00, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::No, I'm not sure what that will do. I'm trying to think of how that would appear in CSS and that seems like it would not display the user preferences. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 21:01, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::Well, you just add this code to common.css for each skin:
::::::&lt;code&gt;span.show-[skin name here] {display: none;}&lt;/code&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;code&gt;span.hide-[skin name here] {display: initial;}&lt;/code&gt;
::::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:03, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I'm reluctant to do that becuase of the concerns above. Do you have an example wiki where someone did this? I don't want to tinker with site-wide CSS without a really good reason. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 21:04, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Well, I can't think of any other wiki, but this IS quite important. On my user page I implemented a feature that perfectly well for me, but another user informed me that it didn't work in one skin, so I made one for that skin, but it only worked in that skin, so I need some code to differentiate between skins. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:10, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Could please give me more information about this? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:08, 25 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::If I edit site-wide CSS, that will impact all users with a given skin. So I want to be very conservative about doing that and I don't want to even experiment, lest I mess up someone's view of the site. If you have examples of other wikis doing this or can justify why you need it done with some clarity, then maybe I can help you. Better yet woudl be community consensus. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:15, 25 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::Basically, I want a feature where I can create a span with the class &quot;[Skin Name Here]-show&quot; and it will only show it for users viewing in that skin, there would also be a &quot;[Skin Name Here]-hide&quot; which would do the reverse. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:24, 25 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::And I need to have a greater justification than just your personal preference before I tinker with site-wide CSS. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:44, 25 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::A lot of Templates need different code for each skin to display properly. Also, I don't see any harm in adding this. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:46, 25 June 2022 (UTC)

== Response time ==

Is there anyway to have a discussion in real-time? I would like to have several long discussions about feature requests, but that's not really doable if it takes days between each comment. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:23, 26 June 2022 (UTC)

:I have really only used Gchat (or whatever it's called now) for IMing, but sure. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:31, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::What is Gchat? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:32, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::Google's IMing, associated with Gmail. Again, it's been called a million things. Hangouts now? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:33, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Any WMF way of live chat? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:33, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::I think Matrix: [[m:matrix]]. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:38, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::I keep hearing about &quot;libera chat&quot;, is it what I want? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:40, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Correct. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:29, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::So, could you explain what it is and how to do what I am requesting with it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:31, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::I've never used it. I just know that it's the replacement for IRC (which I very rarely used). —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:47, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::What’s IRC again? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:52, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{w|Internet Relay Chat}}, which was more-or-less popular as a group chat option for decades and the best server for it, {{w|Freenode}} was bought by a jerk, so everyone jumped ship to Libera. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:06, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::How does libera work? Would it be good for what I want? And, do you have an account there? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:08, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::It's a good chat service, as I understand it and would meet your needs. I've never used it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:13, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::Can you create an account? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:48, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::Sure, if that's the method you want to use. I'm here to help. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:00, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::::What is the name of your account? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:05, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::::@koavf:matrix.org —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:05, 27 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::::::{{ping|koavf}} I mean on libera. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:38, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::::::Gotcha. I haven't made one yet. I can when I'm free-er. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 12:52, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::::::::When will that be? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:53, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::::::::I have a calendar reminder for the following weekend (i.e. not in a few days but a week and a half). —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 12:58, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::::::::::I am wondering if we can do it today instead? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:07, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::::::::::I cannot. I have a busy-ish day and a very busy day tomorrow. To the extent that I can screw around on the Internet, it has to be pretty limited. I'm happy to meet at a time that's mutually convenient, of course. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 13:10, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
{{Outdent|::::::::::}}Thank you! When your ready I have a lot to discuss. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:17, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
:Also, when your ready, could you leave a message saying so on my Talk Page? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:03, 4 July 2022 (UTC)
::Can do. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:11, 4 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Can you just send me a calendar invite if you need to chat? I'm afraid that it's hard for me to make the time. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:03, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::I am not sure how to do that, do you mean like mentally, or on Wikiquote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:54, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::Sorry, I meant to my email address: justinkoavf[littleanarchysymbol][google's email service][period]com. If you can't do that or don't want to share your email address with me, then please let me know. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:14, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I have had my email address removed a long time ago due to abuse, so I can't use my email. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:18, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::You can't email me directly? That's fine. When would you like to chat? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:35, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::When ever you’re ready to implement a lot of stuff. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:38, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Also, which Template de-indents a discussion? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:58, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{tl|outdent}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:04, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Do you have any set date that you would be willing to help implement (or at-least begin the implementation of) a lot of features? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:28, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Unfortunately, I'm busy with work and personal things in July, so I've had a hard time setting a time. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:34, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Also, why did you obfuscate your email address? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:24, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::What is &quot;[littleanarchysymbol]&quot;? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:12, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Obfuscated for bots. [littleanarchysymbol] = &quot;@&quot;. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:34, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::I’m confused, what do you mean obfuscated for bots? Also, if it's obfuscated how I am meant to read it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:49, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::So that a bot couldn't harvest it and spam me. You may be able to read it because you can decode things that a bot can't. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:48, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Oh. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:03, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== Bug fix ==

In [[Special:ListUsers]] &quot;Administrator&quot; is capitalized, on all other wikis (including Wikipedia) it is lower case. Could you please fix this? You could do this by either making it lower case, or by capitalizing all User Rights. (the second option is the one I prefer) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:28, 26 June 2022 (UTC)

:But all of them are upper case now, so at least that's consistent. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:31, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::Oh wait, I see. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:32, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:I think fixing it would require recreating [[MediaWiki:Administrators]] and making it lower-case, but I'm not sure of all the places where it would be changed. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:34, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::I don't see the problem with doing that. Also, if you prefer it capitalized, you could just capitalize all User Groups. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:36, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::Because it may be transcluded other places where it shouldn't be capitalized. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:37, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Well, it's just fine on en.wp. Also, which option do you prefer? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:39, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::I have no strong feelings on this and while I am actually usually very in favor of consistency and proper usage, this one doesn't bother me much. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:29, 26 June 2022 (UTC)

== A question for you ==

If you ever get unblocked from enwiki, will you still regularly contribute here? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:46, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

:For sure. I plan on it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:13, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

== Issue with your archive page ==

A lot of users used &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{PAGENAME}}&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt; instead &lt;code&gt;koavf&lt;/code&gt; on your Talk Page, so when you archived the page it now says &quot;Hi koavf/archive001&quot; instead of just &quot;Hi koavf.&quot; Could you fix this? (I can't since you protected the page) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:05, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

:Sure, thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:34, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== Rollback vote ==

Could you vote [[Wikiquote:Requests for Rollback/Ilovemydoodle|here]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:51, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:37, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Protection request ==

Could you protect [[User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 1|this page]] so only admins can edit? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:34, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:37, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 1|This page]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:15, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:37, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::Still isn’t done. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:40, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Wait why is the page gone? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:48, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::::It's back. The easiest way to delete dozens of revisions is to delete the entire page and then un-delete the revisions that you want. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:50, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::Ohhhhhhhh. I was really confused why you were deleting the whole page. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:55, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Koavf, could you do a full cleansing of the page? What I mean is removing all vandal revisions to the very beginning (even those already revdeled), and then also removing the reverts of those revisions as well. Could you do this? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:15, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::That should be most of them. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:20, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Could you also remove the undos of vandalism? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:23, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Nothing even displays: https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive_1&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3139360 Is this really necessary? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:25, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::I would like to do it, to reduce clutter and potential for confusion, so, yes. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:32, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::Thank you, Koavf! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:51, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

== Protected edit request ==

Could you change [[Template:Test4]] to redirect to [[Template:Uw-vandalism4]] to match Wikipedia? Also, to make the progression to 4im make more sense. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:34, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:37, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Abuse Filter ==

: ''{{ping|Antandrus}} Could you also give your comment on this?''

Could you add the following terms to the Abuse Filter:

* VKKSTUPID (any capitalization)
* VKKSTUPIDITY (any capitalization)
* AANT (any capitalization)
* AANTANDRUS (any capitalization)
* encyclopediadramatica.online (any capitalization)
* g'p (any capitalization)
* g’p (any capitalization)
* encyclopediadr'matica (any capitalization)
* Antandrus david (any capitalization)
* Ilovemycock (any capitalization)
* Ilovemycok (any capitalization)
* Ethandeath (any capitalization)
* Antdeath (any capitalization)
* ANTANDRUS FUCK BUDDY (any capitalization)
* ANTANDRUS FUKBUDDY (any capitalization)
* FUKBUDDY (any capitalization)
* WP:BOYS (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* Chicago Boys (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* Wikidiot (any capitalization)
* Wikiidiot (any capitalization)
* WMFloser (any capitalization)
* Wikiloser (any capitalization)
* Wikipedo (any capitalization)
* Wikipedoa (any capitalization)
* PAVLOL (any capitalization)
* pause for breath (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* HAHAHA (specified capitalization only)
* ANT COCK (any capitalization)
* GLOBLALY (any capitalization)
* da clock (any capitalization)
* archive.is (any capitalization)
* archive.ph (any capitalization)
* ATTAX (any capitalization)
* REMOVETD (any capitalization)
* JAN PAWEŁ (any capitalization)
* WMF squm (any capitalization)
* 'n' (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* WMFhomopedo (any capitalization)
* as proven! (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* ilovemydoodle = (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* G-R-P (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* GLOBAL BAN EVADER (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* ANT-ANDRUS (any capitalization)
* AANT-ANDRUS (any capitalization)
* ILOVEMYDOODLE LOVES (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* a r c h i v e (any capitalization)
* WMFVOMIT (any capitalization)
* WMFCANCER (any capitalization)
* the fodder (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* THANX (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* THX (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* all is saved (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* forever blocked (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* blocked loser (any capitalization)
* fuckbuddy ant (any capitalization)
* fuckbuddy antandrus (any capitalization)
* antandr's (any capitalization)
* HAHAHAHAHA (specified capitalization only)
* PAUSE FOR BREATH (specified capitalization only)
* O YEA (specified capitalization only)
* o yea (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* yea YEA (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* U CANT SLEEP (any capitalization)
* ANT-STN (any capitalization)
* ency'lopediadram'tica (any capitalization)
* GLOBA LOSER (any capitalization)
* GLOBAL LOSER (any capitalization)
* IN YOUR FACES (specified capitalization only)
* in your faces (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* vvkrejects (any capitalization)
* VVK (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* IN YO FACES (any capitalization)
* vvkhypocrite (any capitalization)
* FOFFER (any capitalization)
* real life stalker (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* REAL LIFE STALKER (specified capitalization only)
* DEFYING LOGIC (specified capitalization only)
* FOR WMF (specified capitalization only)
* globally blocked lta (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* GLOBALLY BLOCKED LTA (specified capitalization only)
* WMF RESPECT (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* wikitruth (any capitalization)
* wmf stands for (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* wmf stand for (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* WMF STANDS FOR (specified capitalization only)
* WMF STAND FOR (specified capitalization only)
* I LOVE MY COCK (any capitalization)
* wmf total (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* WMF TOTAL (specified capitalization only)
* fight u (any capitalization)
* ET AL (specified capitalization only)
* zero brains (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* BL*TANT (any capitalization)
* utm*st (any capitalization)
* UTMOST (specified capitalization only)
* Suckpuppet (any capitalization)
* wikihomopedoia (any capitalization)
* ED loser (any capitalization)
* HAHAHAHAHAHA (specified capitalization only)
* AKA (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* VVKLOSER (any capitalization)
– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:46, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

:I've edited the abuse filter before, but I'm not a whiz at it. Note that blocking edits outright based on some of these filters would certainly disrupt standard editing. I feel like this is probably not the best way to stop vandalism and would want to get more consensus from the community. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:52, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
::How about you block the ones that are obviously vandalism entirely. And the potentially good-faith ones could be allowed only for autoconfirmed. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:17, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I'd still want a broader consensus. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:22, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Also, could you protect [[Wikiquote:Village pump archive 60|this page]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:24, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
:Imagine what GRP would do if when he next logs in Wikiquote using one of his 50 trillion VPNs, and all of his favorite buzzwords get blocked by the Abuse Filter. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:56, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
::Again, please post to the Village Pump to get consensus. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:15, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:44, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

== Quick fix needed ==

Could you please create [[MediaWiki:Dot-separator|this page]]? It's needed for a lot of templates on Wikipedia, so when I import them, they don't work. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:04, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:16, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::Question: how do you import revisions? I regularly import templates from Wikipedia, so it would be nice to be able to import the revisions too. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:39, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::[[Special:Import]], if you are an admin. You are not importing, you're just copying and pasting, which is fine as long as you give attribution in the edit summary or the talk page. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:43, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Is there anyway to import '''without''' being an admin? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:45, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::No, just ask an admin to do it. Again, it's fine to completely reproduce any of the content from any WMF project anywhere, it just requires attribution. The problem with copy/paste &quot;importing&quot; is that it may not import all dependencies. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:49, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Well, I know how to import dependencies, I would just like the ability to import revisions too, as I import hundreds of templates regularly. Also, when copying I often forget to attribute. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:54, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::If you forget, in practice, it's not the biggest deal in the world, but you really should post a note on the talk page saying where it came from and how someone could find attribution at the original source. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:55, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Well, according to [[w:WP:IMPORTS|this]], there is a group for &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt;, just like &lt;code&gt;rollback&lt;/code&gt;. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:59, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Heads up that it's [[:w:en:Help:Import]] or [[:w:en:WP:IMPORT]]. In theory, we can activate importer and transwiki importers here, but we [[Special:ListUsers/import|don't have any]] and I personally can't do it, as it requires a bureaucrat. Generally, import rights outside of being an admin is rare and reserved for weird circumstances (e.g. a user on en.wp who has access to very old server logs and imports edits from 2001 occasionally). —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:04, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Can I make a request? And, if so, where? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:19, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::You can request import at the admin's noticeboard. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:25, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:40, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

Could please revdel these two revisions? (they are both by the same vandal)
* [[Special:Diff/3140786|1]]
* [[Special:Diff/3140787|2]]
– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:08, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:10, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::Second one too? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:12, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I think you forgot the second one. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:10, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Check again. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:06, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Kim_Il-sung&amp;oldid=3140787 Still there] – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:20, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Gotcha. I deleted the edit summary. Thanks: hate speech has no place here except in the context of historically meaningful and educational quotations.o —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:33, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Could you also give feedback to my question on the village pump? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:36, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== Protection request ==

Could you protect [[User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 1|this page]] so only admins can edit? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:11, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} I already did that. Now I've done it twice. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:07, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== Question about the abuse filter ==

Can importing revisions ever trigger the abuse filter? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:19, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:Probably? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:35, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::Which user right (not group) allows you to bypass the abuse filter? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:01, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I don't know anything more than this: [[:mw:Extension:AbuseFilter#User_rights]]. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 15:55, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Who would know more about this? Should I ping Aklapper? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:13, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::Possibly. I think a lot of folks on en.wp would know. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:31, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I already asked a few hours ago on the help desk, still no response. I also asked on meta, also no response. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:33, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I got two answers, here: [[m:Special:Diff/23515465|meta]], [[w:Special:Diff/1097930390|wikipedia]]. So the answer (thankfully) appears to be no. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:52, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

== Importer proposal ==

Could you give me feedback on my importer proposal? (not for/against, just about improving the proposal) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:54, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== &lt;s&gt;Emergency&lt;/s&gt; ==

&lt;s&gt;QOTD missing!&lt;/s&gt; {{done}} by Kalki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:01, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

== Question about my import proposal ==

Some of the permissions I know for sure are needed, for others I am pretty sure, and a few are just guesses. So, do you know who specifically I could ask about this? This would make sure that ones that are not needed can be removed, and that needed ones that are not listed can be added. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:47, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

:I don't have a recommendation on this, no. It's your proposal: you can make it however you want. You just need to be clear and explain your reasoning. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 11:16, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

== &lt;s&gt;QOTD&lt;/s&gt;==

&lt;s&gt;QOTD is missing!&lt;/s&gt; {{done}} by Kalki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:22, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Question about my requests to you that could be asked more generally on VP or AN ==

Are you okay with this, or does it bother you? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:32, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

:If the worst thing that happens to me here is that someone is too enthusiastic, that's a good problem to have. I like your edits and interest in helping out. I just want to make sure that any kind of radical changes get larger community support. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:37, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Contributions/Mr. Dick Pump|These two edits]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:28, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:56, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:contribs/2001:E68:6125:E800:9458:3779:9236:6072|Three edit summaries]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:16, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:57, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:contribs/2603:6010:c600:a8:40c4:fa43:6b2d:63ac|Three revisions]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:00, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

:&lt;small&gt;([[:w:WP:TPS|talk page stalker]])&lt;/small&gt; {{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, {{done}} but only one revision. The others aren't eligible for revdel. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:12, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

== Potential issue with import proposal ==

If the page has already been imported manually and changed since, but the page on the wiki you are importing from has also been changed, then the merge will fail. So is there any kind of right that I could that would let you remove a revision? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:04, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

:Just being an admin. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:02, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::Does the database keep track of if an edit is imported? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:09, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I'm not certain. From what I've seen, it's seamless. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:49, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::::I mean in the backend. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:59, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::I'm not sure. I would think so. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 21:13, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== Online ==

Are you online right now? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:32, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

:I'll have a little availability, but I'm getting sleepy actually--I've been sick lately. :/ —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:02, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== Online ==

Are you still online? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:02, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Diff/3143353|This]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:53, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:51, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

== Bureaucrat ==

I wanted to nominate you for bureaucrat, but I could not think of enough reasons for a full nomination. Could you nominate yourself? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:22, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{not done}} I'm pretty busy now, so picking up extra responsibility seems like a bad idea. :/ —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:51, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::Later? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:52, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Maybe! —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:59, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Diff/3121426|This]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:32, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:38, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

== Hounding ==

I have noticed that a particular new editor here seems to be here only in discussion pages, which is fine in my opinion, but they appear to particularly targeting me (voting against various proposals, listing pages for deletion, etc.), and haven't been doing any mainspsce editing or editing in other discussions, does this count as hounding? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:37, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|AC9016}} Do you agree? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:38, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
:It could be. I haven't seen this behavior yet. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 15:42, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
::[[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|Here]] – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:44, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I have not observed this behavior either. My time on Wikiquote is overwhelmingly spent on creating and editing pages. --[[User:AC9016|AC9016]] ([[User talk:AC9016|talk]]) 15:57, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I see you posted to his talk, so let's see where that goes. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 15:58, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== Strikethrough templates ==

Templates what is your opinion on {{t|Ds}}, {{t|Ts}}, and {{t|Qs}}? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:52, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

:It's not obvious to me why these exist. If you need to semantically mark up that something is deleted or struck, then we have those options, so why do we need to visually have a template that strikes something four times? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:48, 21 July 2022 (UTC)

== Availability ==

When do you think you could help with the js feature requests previously mentioned? Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:04, 21 July 2022 (UTC)

:Which one again? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:11, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
::Not specifically one, several small ones over IRC. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:16, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Oh, not anytime soon. Sorry. :/
:::I have work, school, and travel. I am happy to do continued maintenance on projects where I am an admin (e.g. here), but doing anything ambitious is on an indefinite hold. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:18, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Not that big, only small to medium additions. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:22, 21 July 2022 (UTC)

== AN Archives ==

Hello. I noticed that you sysop-protected [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard/Archive/037]] but this is blocking [[Special:Contribs/MABot|my bot]] from archiving the [[WQ:AN]] as requested. Would you prefer if I start archiving in [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard/Archive/038]] instead? If this is due to vandalism, an AbuseFilter could be created to avoid subpages of the AN to be editted by anyone but sysops and bots. Regards, --[[User:MarcoAurelio|MarcoAurelio]] ([[User talk:MarcoAurelio|talk]]) 11:10, 28 July 2022 (UTC)

:Maybe your bot can just be an admin? I'm not a bureaucrat, so I can't do it unilaterally, but you're a trusted user, so I don't see that as being a problem. I'll unprotect for now. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:30, 28 July 2022 (UTC)
::Thank you. I appreciate your words, but I do not think my bot should have +sysop as it is very dangerous. Bots can, however, edit pages protected up to the autoconfirmed level so if vandalism on that page is an issue you may reprotect it to the &quot;edit: autoconfirmed&quot; level and my bot won't have troubles with bypassing that restriction. Regards, --[[User:MarcoAurelio|MarcoAurelio]] ([[User talk:MarcoAurelio|talk]]) 10:45, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

== Hello ==

I would like to inform you that I have returned here after three weeks.

I mainly left due to the large-scale deletion of my templates and modules, most of which was unjustified. I would like to have these undeleted so the issues with templates can be properly addressed, rather than just deleting them. I would like to start by having these templates undeleted:
* [[Template:T]]
* [[Template:Blockedreason]]
* [[Template:Removed]] (and [[Template:Vote removed]])
Do you think you help with this? And, if so, could you add some-sort-of messaging saying that it is currently being worked-on and should ''not'' be immediately re-VfD'd? Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:44, 11 August 2022 (UTC)

:Welcome. I would recommend starting with the admins who deleted them and see if they think for some reason there was an error or something was deleted out of process. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:50, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
::I am not saying that is out of error, I just think that I can ''easily'' fix the issues that were given as the reason for deletion. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:52, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
:::Also, you would need to undelete the associated sub-pages. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:53, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
:::Sure, well I would still start with the deleting admin. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:55, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
::::{{done}} added a link to this discussion. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:58, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Wait... the deleting admin only deleted it because of a VfD, so if I am able to address the problems raised in the VfD, couldn't it just be undelete without needless bureaucracy? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:17, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
* All I did was close the discussions. In nearly every one, the consensus to delete was unanimous. I would recommend you take some time to consider working on tasks that do not require the creation of large amounts of templates and subpages, give that this wasn't a one-off issue, but one where there were scores of pages that needed to be deleted. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 20:35, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
*:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}} My reason for creating these was not just randomly make bad templates, instead I was trying to implement a much larger idea for Wikiquote, but since it would be such a large change and would require large changes to backend things like php and js, I instead only implemented a very small amount of it. But, since I only implemented small amounts of what actually wanted to do '''without context''', I instead made something that doesn't have any propose or value. So, instead, I would like to make a local 'test wiki' where I can work on larger things like this that can later be implemented properly on the main wiki.
*:Do you think you could help by sending an xml file of the deleted pages? Thanks, – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:31, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
*::I nominated the templates for deletion (and there was unanimous consensus to delete them) because they were fundamentally crap templates. The fact the implementation was terrible was only a small part of the problem, the big issue is that the ''ideas'' behind them were awful. No amount of JavaScript or PHP would have turned those pages into useful templates.
*::You have tried to reinvent processes for no good reason (often in really stupid ways involving obnoxious amounts of pings), you have made pointless duplicate templates that recreate functionality that already exists, and have created templates that should not be used under any situation because they violate fundamental project policies and fly in the face of wiki culture.
*::Of those three templates the first one duplicates a template we already have, the second was another duplicate template but with some really really terrible modifications, and the third was a horrendously bad idea for a template that should never ''ever'' be used under any situation.
*::I would oppose restoring these as the community has made it clear they don't want them. Banning people from nominating them for deletion after a unanimous consensus to delete is also a grossly inappropriate suggestion. The only admin action that I could see being remotely appropriate here is blocking you from template and module space. You clearly do not have the [[W:WP:CIR|competence]] to edit there productively and have made a ridiculous amount of mess treating this project as your personal sandbox that is going to take months and months to clean up. I haven't edited in a week due to real life work, but there is still a vast amount of localisation, clean-up and deletion nominations to be done. Fundamentally as a newbie who has only been here for a couple of months you should not be attempting to &quot;implement a much larger idea for Wikiquote&quot; and completely remake the project according to how you think it should be - that isn't how consensus or wiki communities work. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:02, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
*:::Forgive me, but, is it not &quot;cleaned up&quot; already? All of templates and modules appear to of been deleted. Also, I was not requesting they all be restored. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:49, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
*::::No, it's nowhere near finished. [[Special:WantedCategories]] is still full of clean-up categories that need renaming, merging, and actually creating. There are still a ton of modules and templates that you've copied from other projects without bothering to set them up properly, e.g. [[Module:Pagetype/config]], which still has a load of wikipedia only configurations in it. There are a bunch of unused templates that don't actually make a lot of sense on this project, [[Template:Disputed inline]] doesn't make a great deal of sense when applied to quotations. There are a bunch of templates that I cannot forsee anyone ever using, e.g. [[Template:Background color]] which is used to applying formatting that should never actually be used in pages, &lt;span style=&quot;background-color: orange&quot;&gt;Like this&lt;/span&gt;. And that's before we even get into looking at all the templates that you overwrote with wikipedia specific ones or messed around with for no good reason. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 08:56, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
*:::Please don’t, I have stopped the template creation and will only return to it when I know what I'm doing. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:41, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Don't get discouraged brother or sister. Figure it out. Lord knows I'm lucky to understand how email works some of the time. But do it on a test wiki. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 02:44, 13 August 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Ilovemydoodle&amp;type=revision&amp;diff=3146038&amp;oldid=3145984&amp;diffmode=source This]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:37, 20 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, while it is an inappropriate comment, I don't think it is eligible for RevDel. It is just a &quot;normal&quot; personal attack. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 11:24, 20 August 2022 (UTC)
::I'm a fan of [[:w:en:WP:DENY]] and happy to revdel things that don't even try to add to this site. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:31, 20 August 2022 (UTC)
:::[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Sandbox&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3146034&amp;diffmode=source This] should probably be removed as well. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:50, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
:::Wouldn't say that spending time going back to a month old edit no-one else will be looking at is a way of denying recognition to vandals. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:03, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Okay, if you want to leave this kind of trash in the edit history, you can. As I come across abusive edits like this, I remove them. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:04, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::It's not great to be in the edit history, but we are hiding these kinds of edits from public view. Would you say that the edit revision, as well as the edit summary, is bad enough that it should be hidden from other editors? Particularly with this edit - what is the worst that would happen if it was just left alone? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:09, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::Yes and probably nothing other than giving a troll what he wants. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:12, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Ferien}} Shouldn’t all personal attacks be revdeled? I thought &quot;special&quot; personal attacks are meant to be oversighted. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:52, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
:::{{re|Ilovemydoodle}} No absolutely not. There is no RevDel policy here, and we should definitely get one some point soon, but RevDel is generally only used for grossly inappropriate content. Both of these revisions certainly wouldn't be eligible for revision deletion at all on any other wiki I'm active on, especially not on English Wikipedia. And oversight can only be used for &quot;a blatant attack is one obviously intended to denigrate, threaten, libel, insult, or harass someone.&quot; --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:00, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
::::I think revdel should be used on any edit harmful bad-faith edit. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:38, 22 August 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Contributions/Deadlybreeze|These]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:54, 22 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:02, 22 August 2022 (UTC)
::Also, is [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikimedia_Forum&amp;oldid=23694862#Question_about_dumps_(this_is_actually_needed,_not_just_a_stupid/pointless_question) this] possible? (without dev access) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:10, 22 August 2022 (UTC)
::[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Ilovemydoodle&amp;type=revision&amp;diff=3148586&amp;oldid=3147432&amp;diffmode=source This too]! Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:13, 22 August 2022 (UTC)

== Block request ==

Could you softblock {{u|Ilovemycock}}? (I created it to prevent abuse) Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 10:04, 25 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} by {{u|Ferien}}. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 10:24, 25 August 2022 (UTC)

== Abuse filter ==

Could you import [[test2wiki:Special:AbuseFilter/29|this]] filter onto this wiki? Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:46, 26 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} This is pretty extensive as a filter. I'll have to keep my eyes on it and what kind of hits it gets. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:42, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::Did I do a good job? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:06, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::I think, but we'll find out by trying it. Such is life, I suppose. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:12, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Is there any way to make the filter block a user if they trigger it too much? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:13, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::As I recall, yes, but I'm not an abuse filter whiz. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:20, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::Who would know how to do that? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:21, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I don't even know where to start. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:28, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|Cabayi}} Do you know? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:40, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, it is not the best idea to ping users who are not active on this wiki to something they have not been involved in. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:47, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} I was trying to find a knowledgeable user. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:02, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{re|Ilovemydoodle}} then please head to AN or the Village pump. I have a little bit of experience with abuse filters and how to add to them, although I don't promise to be an abuse filter genius. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:09, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::Thanks, but you should probably remove the 'test' in the name of the filter. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:08, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:Could you give me the abuse helper right so I can check on the filter? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:22, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::I think this would need discussion and consensus first. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:24, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::It doesn’t allow you to edit it, just view it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:50, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Still needs consensus and doesn't exist here.--[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:56, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:Don't want to talk about the contents of the abuse filter too much onwiki but I imagine this could be merged into abuse filter 33. It has the same purpose. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:45, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Ferien}} Mine includes both GRP ''and'' Wikinger, while filter 33 only includes GRP. Maybe 33 could be merged into mine? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:52, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, they are essentially the same vandal. In fact, 34 doesn't really apply to Wikinger at all. It doesn't really matter which one it's merged into but an extensive amount of time has been spent on filter 33 to make it suitable for enwikiquote and their behaviour here. I was just checking and pretty much everything included in filter 34 is in 33 and more. But as I said I don't want to spend much time talking about the filter itself. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:54, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Ferien}} Could you copy it to test2wiki so I could view it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:28, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{u|Koavf}}, Could you do this? (I would like to compare it to my version) Thanks! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:24, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{re|Ilovemydoodle}} I am not sure why you are so concerned about this. Filter 33 is working very well and has significantly decreased the amount of disruption this vandal can cause, there is no need for additional filters or for the filter to be shown to you. It is hidden for a reason. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 10:40, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
:I updated it, could you re-copy it? Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:27, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::{{not done}}. Importing doesn't work. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:04, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
:::Delete it and then re-import it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:10, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Okay, I can try. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:07, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{Tl|Done}}? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:44, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:12, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Permalink/3130363|This]] Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:27, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{not done}} Why would this be deleted? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:08, 27 August 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>5b43qwyfiph08og6bp1luu82pdfyq4a</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158675</id>
      <parentid>3158534</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T20:08:00Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Ilovemydoodle</username>
        <id>3120156</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Abuse filter 2 */ Reply</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="93961" xml:space="preserve">{{User talk:Koavf/Template:Archive}}
&lt;!-- Please leave comments below this line. --&gt;

== Template:Username ==

Could you please make [[Template:Username]] show the User’s name? I need it for several Templates. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:19, 12 June 2022 (UTC)

:What do you have in mind? Does {{tl|Ping}} not work? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:53, 12 June 2022 (UTC)
::I mean the user viewing it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:56, 12 June 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|Kalki}} [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:12, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}}
::::I have no idea what you need. What would the template do? How would you use it? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:42, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::A template that displays the username or IP address of the user viewing it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:49, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::Do you have an example on another wiki that does this? I recalled that there was a magic word for this, but I can't seem to find it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:45, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::No, but this is still a very useful *potential* feature. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:45, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

== Request to add Editnotice ==

Could you add [[User:Ilovemydoodle/FakeBlockMessage|this]] Editnotice to my User and User Talk pages? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:38, 15 June 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} Are you sure you want that message? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:39, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::Yes. Thank you, you are the best admin. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:52, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::Also, it isn't showing up, could you fix this?

::Edit: I think you need to create the page [[Mediawiki:Editnotice-2-Ilovemydoodle|here]] (and [[Mediawiki:Editnotice-3-Ilovemydoodle|here]] for the Talk Page) for it to actually work. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:54, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::That doesn't seem to have done the trick. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:02, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Maybe try some test text instead? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:04, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::I can. Seems like your hack should work, per [[mw:Manual:Interface/Edit notice]], tho. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:05, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::Maybe file a phab report? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:07, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I fixed it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:12, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Could you also protect the page so only I and Administrators can edit it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:50, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::No, there's no way to do that, other than by manually blocking that one page from every user who isn't an admin or you. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:53, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:
{| style=&quot;border: 1px solid gray; background-color: #fdffe7;&quot;
|rowspan=&quot;2&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align:middle;&quot; | [[File:SpecialBarnstar.png|100px]]
|rowspan=&quot;2&quot; |
|style=&quot;font-size: x-large; padding: 0; vertical-align: middle; height: 1.1em;&quot; | '''The Special Barnstar'''
|-
|style=&quot;vertical-align: middle; border-top: 1px solid gray;&quot; | For actually doing this, I think most other Administrators take themselves to far too seriously to do something like this.
|} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:29, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

:Thanks kindly. I'm here to serve. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:35, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

== Merge fork ==

Could you merge my fork of [[Joe Biden]] into the main page (revisions included)? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:59, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

:Probably, but you have to meet me half-way here and link to said fork. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:03, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::[[User:Ilovemydoodle/forks/Main/Joe Biden]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:05, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::&quot;No revisions can be merged.&quot; —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:09, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Why? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:16, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::¯\_(ツ)_/¯ —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:17, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::Try now. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:19, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::&quot;No revisions can be merged.&quot; —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:35, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Maybe try importing them instead? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:37, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::How? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:37, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Okay I figured it, this might sound strange, but it should work, merge [[Joe Biden]] into my fork, delete the original [[Joe Biden]] page and then move my fork to [[Joe Biden]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:49, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::&quot;Source revisions overlap or come after destination revisions.&quot; You should just edit the main article. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:00, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:04, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::Also, do you have any work for me to do on Wikiquote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:05, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::Wow, great question. I think the best thing that can happen here is if someone helps to bring more [[m:Structured Wikiquote|structure and semantics to Wikiquote]]. On a structural level, that is beyond any one person fixing, but anyone can add templates, metadata, etc. E.g. if you cite a source, include a citation template or use proper list semantics, such as not putting line breaks between bullets in a list. That and adding accessibility features like [[:w:en:WP:ALT|alt text]] are important issues to me. Thanks for asking and for all you do around here. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:50, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::I have been doing some of these things for while now, I will continue to do so also doing the other things you mentioned, but I was mainly looking for one or two shorter tasks to do now. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:10, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::Hi {{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, in terms of work to do on Wikiquote:
*[[:Category:Wikiquote no intro]] need intros
*[[:Category:Video games]]' contents needs sorting into categories by year
*[[:Category:Wikiquote cleanup]] has hundreds of articles needing cleanup
*[[Flooding]] could potentially be an article rather than redirect, not 100 percent sure though, depends on quotability.
*There are many entire countries with no article yet. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 16:46, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::Also thank you again Koavf for the admin/maintenance work. I hope we get to see you back at enwiki eventually. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 19:21, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::Thanks, RC! —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:46, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::No worries. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 19:51, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

== Feature ==

Help, I really needed a feature added that lets a Template tell which skin your using. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:58, 19 June 2022 (UTC)

:Wow, I have no idea how to do that. You want to be a thrid party that knows which skin someone is using? I'm not sure that is an option. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:09, 19 June 2022 (UTC)
::I really need it, apparently the background of my talk page break certain features, but only on one skin, and after fixing now it only works on that skin and doesn't work on others, so I really need this fixed, maybe something using css files? 

::Edit: I figured it out, just add some css to the css file for each skin:

::* [[Mediawiki:vector.css]]
::* [[Mediawiki:vector-2022.css]]
::* [[Mediawiki:minerva.css]]
::* [[Mediawiki:monobook.css]]
::* [[Mediawiki:timeless.css]]

::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:55, 19 June 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:23, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
::::I'm confused why you're pinging me. You just wrote, &quot;I figured it out&quot;, so I thought there was no action for me here. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:35, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::No, I meant that I figured out how YOU can fix it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:52, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::What do you want me to insert in the CSS files? I'm reluctant to do this as it will modify the site for all users, but I'm not entirely opposed. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:03, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Just make it you have something that only appears when that skin is active.

:::::::Edit: You can do this by making something invisible in common.css and then setting it visible in the skin’s css file. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:05, 20 June 2022 (UTC)

== Feature request ==

Could you make a very useful JavaScript hack for me? Ping me when your ready and I'll give you more information. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:21, 23 June 2022 (UTC)

:I'm putting something on my calendar for next weekend--I'm busy this weekend. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:42, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
::Could you please do the other request above, though? (I really need it for something) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:44, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
:::All of them exist except one. I'll add a comment to it and then I suppose that resolves it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:53, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
::::No I mean in each file could you put:
::::&lt;code&gt;span.show-[skin name here] {display: initial;}&lt;/code&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;code&gt;span.hide-[skin name here] {display: none;}&lt;/code&gt;
::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:00, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::No, I'm not sure what that will do. I'm trying to think of how that would appear in CSS and that seems like it would not display the user preferences. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 21:01, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::Well, you just add this code to common.css for each skin:
::::::&lt;code&gt;span.show-[skin name here] {display: none;}&lt;/code&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;code&gt;span.hide-[skin name here] {display: initial;}&lt;/code&gt;
::::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:03, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I'm reluctant to do that becuase of the concerns above. Do you have an example wiki where someone did this? I don't want to tinker with site-wide CSS without a really good reason. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 21:04, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Well, I can't think of any other wiki, but this IS quite important. On my user page I implemented a feature that perfectly well for me, but another user informed me that it didn't work in one skin, so I made one for that skin, but it only worked in that skin, so I need some code to differentiate between skins. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:10, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Could please give me more information about this? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:08, 25 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::If I edit site-wide CSS, that will impact all users with a given skin. So I want to be very conservative about doing that and I don't want to even experiment, lest I mess up someone's view of the site. If you have examples of other wikis doing this or can justify why you need it done with some clarity, then maybe I can help you. Better yet woudl be community consensus. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:15, 25 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::Basically, I want a feature where I can create a span with the class &quot;[Skin Name Here]-show&quot; and it will only show it for users viewing in that skin, there would also be a &quot;[Skin Name Here]-hide&quot; which would do the reverse. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:24, 25 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::And I need to have a greater justification than just your personal preference before I tinker with site-wide CSS. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:44, 25 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::A lot of Templates need different code for each skin to display properly. Also, I don't see any harm in adding this. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:46, 25 June 2022 (UTC)

== Response time ==

Is there anyway to have a discussion in real-time? I would like to have several long discussions about feature requests, but that's not really doable if it takes days between each comment. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:23, 26 June 2022 (UTC)

:I have really only used Gchat (or whatever it's called now) for IMing, but sure. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:31, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::What is Gchat? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:32, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::Google's IMing, associated with Gmail. Again, it's been called a million things. Hangouts now? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:33, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Any WMF way of live chat? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:33, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::I think Matrix: [[m:matrix]]. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:38, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::I keep hearing about &quot;libera chat&quot;, is it what I want? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:40, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Correct. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:29, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::So, could you explain what it is and how to do what I am requesting with it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:31, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::I've never used it. I just know that it's the replacement for IRC (which I very rarely used). —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:47, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::What’s IRC again? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:52, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{w|Internet Relay Chat}}, which was more-or-less popular as a group chat option for decades and the best server for it, {{w|Freenode}} was bought by a jerk, so everyone jumped ship to Libera. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:06, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::How does libera work? Would it be good for what I want? And, do you have an account there? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:08, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::It's a good chat service, as I understand it and would meet your needs. I've never used it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:13, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::Can you create an account? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:48, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::Sure, if that's the method you want to use. I'm here to help. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:00, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::::What is the name of your account? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:05, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::::@koavf:matrix.org —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:05, 27 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::::::{{ping|koavf}} I mean on libera. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:38, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::::::Gotcha. I haven't made one yet. I can when I'm free-er. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 12:52, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::::::::When will that be? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:53, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::::::::I have a calendar reminder for the following weekend (i.e. not in a few days but a week and a half). —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 12:58, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::::::::::I am wondering if we can do it today instead? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:07, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::::::::::I cannot. I have a busy-ish day and a very busy day tomorrow. To the extent that I can screw around on the Internet, it has to be pretty limited. I'm happy to meet at a time that's mutually convenient, of course. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 13:10, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
{{Outdent|::::::::::}}Thank you! When your ready I have a lot to discuss. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:17, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
:Also, when your ready, could you leave a message saying so on my Talk Page? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:03, 4 July 2022 (UTC)
::Can do. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:11, 4 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Can you just send me a calendar invite if you need to chat? I'm afraid that it's hard for me to make the time. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:03, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::I am not sure how to do that, do you mean like mentally, or on Wikiquote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:54, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::Sorry, I meant to my email address: justinkoavf[littleanarchysymbol][google's email service][period]com. If you can't do that or don't want to share your email address with me, then please let me know. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:14, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I have had my email address removed a long time ago due to abuse, so I can't use my email. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:18, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::You can't email me directly? That's fine. When would you like to chat? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:35, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::When ever you’re ready to implement a lot of stuff. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:38, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Also, which Template de-indents a discussion? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:58, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{tl|outdent}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:04, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Do you have any set date that you would be willing to help implement (or at-least begin the implementation of) a lot of features? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:28, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Unfortunately, I'm busy with work and personal things in July, so I've had a hard time setting a time. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:34, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Also, why did you obfuscate your email address? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:24, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::What is &quot;[littleanarchysymbol]&quot;? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:12, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Obfuscated for bots. [littleanarchysymbol] = &quot;@&quot;. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:34, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::I’m confused, what do you mean obfuscated for bots? Also, if it's obfuscated how I am meant to read it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:49, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::So that a bot couldn't harvest it and spam me. You may be able to read it because you can decode things that a bot can't. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:48, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Oh. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:03, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== Bug fix ==

In [[Special:ListUsers]] &quot;Administrator&quot; is capitalized, on all other wikis (including Wikipedia) it is lower case. Could you please fix this? You could do this by either making it lower case, or by capitalizing all User Rights. (the second option is the one I prefer) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:28, 26 June 2022 (UTC)

:But all of them are upper case now, so at least that's consistent. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:31, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::Oh wait, I see. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:32, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:I think fixing it would require recreating [[MediaWiki:Administrators]] and making it lower-case, but I'm not sure of all the places where it would be changed. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:34, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::I don't see the problem with doing that. Also, if you prefer it capitalized, you could just capitalize all User Groups. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:36, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::Because it may be transcluded other places where it shouldn't be capitalized. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:37, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Well, it's just fine on en.wp. Also, which option do you prefer? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:39, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::I have no strong feelings on this and while I am actually usually very in favor of consistency and proper usage, this one doesn't bother me much. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:29, 26 June 2022 (UTC)

== A question for you ==

If you ever get unblocked from enwiki, will you still regularly contribute here? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:46, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

:For sure. I plan on it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:13, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

== Issue with your archive page ==

A lot of users used &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{PAGENAME}}&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt; instead &lt;code&gt;koavf&lt;/code&gt; on your Talk Page, so when you archived the page it now says &quot;Hi koavf/archive001&quot; instead of just &quot;Hi koavf.&quot; Could you fix this? (I can't since you protected the page) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:05, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

:Sure, thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:34, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== Rollback vote ==

Could you vote [[Wikiquote:Requests for Rollback/Ilovemydoodle|here]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:51, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:37, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Protection request ==

Could you protect [[User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 1|this page]] so only admins can edit? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:34, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:37, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 1|This page]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:15, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:37, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::Still isn’t done. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:40, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Wait why is the page gone? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:48, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::::It's back. The easiest way to delete dozens of revisions is to delete the entire page and then un-delete the revisions that you want. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:50, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::Ohhhhhhhh. I was really confused why you were deleting the whole page. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:55, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Koavf, could you do a full cleansing of the page? What I mean is removing all vandal revisions to the very beginning (even those already revdeled), and then also removing the reverts of those revisions as well. Could you do this? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:15, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::That should be most of them. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:20, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Could you also remove the undos of vandalism? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:23, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Nothing even displays: https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive_1&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3139360 Is this really necessary? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:25, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::I would like to do it, to reduce clutter and potential for confusion, so, yes. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:32, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::Thank you, Koavf! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:51, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

== Protected edit request ==

Could you change [[Template:Test4]] to redirect to [[Template:Uw-vandalism4]] to match Wikipedia? Also, to make the progression to 4im make more sense. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:34, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:37, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Abuse Filter ==

: ''{{ping|Antandrus}} Could you also give your comment on this?''

Could you add the following terms to the Abuse Filter:

* VKKSTUPID (any capitalization)
* VKKSTUPIDITY (any capitalization)
* AANT (any capitalization)
* AANTANDRUS (any capitalization)
* encyclopediadramatica.online (any capitalization)
* g'p (any capitalization)
* g’p (any capitalization)
* encyclopediadr'matica (any capitalization)
* Antandrus david (any capitalization)
* Ilovemycock (any capitalization)
* Ilovemycok (any capitalization)
* Ethandeath (any capitalization)
* Antdeath (any capitalization)
* ANTANDRUS FUCK BUDDY (any capitalization)
* ANTANDRUS FUKBUDDY (any capitalization)
* FUKBUDDY (any capitalization)
* WP:BOYS (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* Chicago Boys (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* Wikidiot (any capitalization)
* Wikiidiot (any capitalization)
* WMFloser (any capitalization)
* Wikiloser (any capitalization)
* Wikipedo (any capitalization)
* Wikipedoa (any capitalization)
* PAVLOL (any capitalization)
* pause for breath (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* HAHAHA (specified capitalization only)
* ANT COCK (any capitalization)
* GLOBLALY (any capitalization)
* da clock (any capitalization)
* archive.is (any capitalization)
* archive.ph (any capitalization)
* ATTAX (any capitalization)
* REMOVETD (any capitalization)
* JAN PAWEŁ (any capitalization)
* WMF squm (any capitalization)
* 'n' (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* WMFhomopedo (any capitalization)
* as proven! (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* ilovemydoodle = (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* G-R-P (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* GLOBAL BAN EVADER (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* ANT-ANDRUS (any capitalization)
* AANT-ANDRUS (any capitalization)
* ILOVEMYDOODLE LOVES (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* a r c h i v e (any capitalization)
* WMFVOMIT (any capitalization)
* WMFCANCER (any capitalization)
* the fodder (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* THANX (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* THX (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* all is saved (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* forever blocked (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* blocked loser (any capitalization)
* fuckbuddy ant (any capitalization)
* fuckbuddy antandrus (any capitalization)
* antandr's (any capitalization)
* HAHAHAHAHA (specified capitalization only)
* PAUSE FOR BREATH (specified capitalization only)
* O YEA (specified capitalization only)
* o yea (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* yea YEA (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* U CANT SLEEP (any capitalization)
* ANT-STN (any capitalization)
* ency'lopediadram'tica (any capitalization)
* GLOBA LOSER (any capitalization)
* GLOBAL LOSER (any capitalization)
* IN YOUR FACES (specified capitalization only)
* in your faces (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* vvkrejects (any capitalization)
* VVK (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* IN YO FACES (any capitalization)
* vvkhypocrite (any capitalization)
* FOFFER (any capitalization)
* real life stalker (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* REAL LIFE STALKER (specified capitalization only)
* DEFYING LOGIC (specified capitalization only)
* FOR WMF (specified capitalization only)
* globally blocked lta (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* GLOBALLY BLOCKED LTA (specified capitalization only)
* WMF RESPECT (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* wikitruth (any capitalization)
* wmf stands for (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* wmf stand for (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* WMF STANDS FOR (specified capitalization only)
* WMF STAND FOR (specified capitalization only)
* I LOVE MY COCK (any capitalization)
* wmf total (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* WMF TOTAL (specified capitalization only)
* fight u (any capitalization)
* ET AL (specified capitalization only)
* zero brains (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* BL*TANT (any capitalization)
* utm*st (any capitalization)
* UTMOST (specified capitalization only)
* Suckpuppet (any capitalization)
* wikihomopedoia (any capitalization)
* ED loser (any capitalization)
* HAHAHAHAHAHA (specified capitalization only)
* AKA (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* VVKLOSER (any capitalization)
– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:46, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

:I've edited the abuse filter before, but I'm not a whiz at it. Note that blocking edits outright based on some of these filters would certainly disrupt standard editing. I feel like this is probably not the best way to stop vandalism and would want to get more consensus from the community. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:52, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
::How about you block the ones that are obviously vandalism entirely. And the potentially good-faith ones could be allowed only for autoconfirmed. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:17, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I'd still want a broader consensus. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:22, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Also, could you protect [[Wikiquote:Village pump archive 60|this page]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:24, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
:Imagine what GRP would do if when he next logs in Wikiquote using one of his 50 trillion VPNs, and all of his favorite buzzwords get blocked by the Abuse Filter. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:56, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
::Again, please post to the Village Pump to get consensus. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:15, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:44, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

== Quick fix needed ==

Could you please create [[MediaWiki:Dot-separator|this page]]? It's needed for a lot of templates on Wikipedia, so when I import them, they don't work. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:04, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:16, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::Question: how do you import revisions? I regularly import templates from Wikipedia, so it would be nice to be able to import the revisions too. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:39, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::[[Special:Import]], if you are an admin. You are not importing, you're just copying and pasting, which is fine as long as you give attribution in the edit summary or the talk page. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:43, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Is there anyway to import '''without''' being an admin? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:45, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::No, just ask an admin to do it. Again, it's fine to completely reproduce any of the content from any WMF project anywhere, it just requires attribution. The problem with copy/paste &quot;importing&quot; is that it may not import all dependencies. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:49, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Well, I know how to import dependencies, I would just like the ability to import revisions too, as I import hundreds of templates regularly. Also, when copying I often forget to attribute. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:54, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::If you forget, in practice, it's not the biggest deal in the world, but you really should post a note on the talk page saying where it came from and how someone could find attribution at the original source. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:55, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Well, according to [[w:WP:IMPORTS|this]], there is a group for &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt;, just like &lt;code&gt;rollback&lt;/code&gt;. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:59, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Heads up that it's [[:w:en:Help:Import]] or [[:w:en:WP:IMPORT]]. In theory, we can activate importer and transwiki importers here, but we [[Special:ListUsers/import|don't have any]] and I personally can't do it, as it requires a bureaucrat. Generally, import rights outside of being an admin is rare and reserved for weird circumstances (e.g. a user on en.wp who has access to very old server logs and imports edits from 2001 occasionally). —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:04, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Can I make a request? And, if so, where? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:19, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::You can request import at the admin's noticeboard. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:25, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:40, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

Could please revdel these two revisions? (they are both by the same vandal)
* [[Special:Diff/3140786|1]]
* [[Special:Diff/3140787|2]]
– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:08, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:10, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::Second one too? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:12, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I think you forgot the second one. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:10, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Check again. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:06, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Kim_Il-sung&amp;oldid=3140787 Still there] – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:20, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Gotcha. I deleted the edit summary. Thanks: hate speech has no place here except in the context of historically meaningful and educational quotations.o —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:33, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Could you also give feedback to my question on the village pump? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:36, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== Protection request ==

Could you protect [[User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 1|this page]] so only admins can edit? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:11, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} I already did that. Now I've done it twice. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:07, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== Question about the abuse filter ==

Can importing revisions ever trigger the abuse filter? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:19, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:Probably? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:35, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::Which user right (not group) allows you to bypass the abuse filter? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:01, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I don't know anything more than this: [[:mw:Extension:AbuseFilter#User_rights]]. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 15:55, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Who would know more about this? Should I ping Aklapper? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:13, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::Possibly. I think a lot of folks on en.wp would know. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:31, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I already asked a few hours ago on the help desk, still no response. I also asked on meta, also no response. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:33, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I got two answers, here: [[m:Special:Diff/23515465|meta]], [[w:Special:Diff/1097930390|wikipedia]]. So the answer (thankfully) appears to be no. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:52, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

== Importer proposal ==

Could you give me feedback on my importer proposal? (not for/against, just about improving the proposal) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:54, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== &lt;s&gt;Emergency&lt;/s&gt; ==

&lt;s&gt;QOTD missing!&lt;/s&gt; {{done}} by Kalki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:01, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

== Question about my import proposal ==

Some of the permissions I know for sure are needed, for others I am pretty sure, and a few are just guesses. So, do you know who specifically I could ask about this? This would make sure that ones that are not needed can be removed, and that needed ones that are not listed can be added. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:47, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

:I don't have a recommendation on this, no. It's your proposal: you can make it however you want. You just need to be clear and explain your reasoning. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 11:16, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

== &lt;s&gt;QOTD&lt;/s&gt;==

&lt;s&gt;QOTD is missing!&lt;/s&gt; {{done}} by Kalki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:22, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Question about my requests to you that could be asked more generally on VP or AN ==

Are you okay with this, or does it bother you? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:32, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

:If the worst thing that happens to me here is that someone is too enthusiastic, that's a good problem to have. I like your edits and interest in helping out. I just want to make sure that any kind of radical changes get larger community support. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:37, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Contributions/Mr. Dick Pump|These two edits]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:28, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:56, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:contribs/2001:E68:6125:E800:9458:3779:9236:6072|Three edit summaries]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:16, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:57, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:contribs/2603:6010:c600:a8:40c4:fa43:6b2d:63ac|Three revisions]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:00, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

:&lt;small&gt;([[:w:WP:TPS|talk page stalker]])&lt;/small&gt; {{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, {{done}} but only one revision. The others aren't eligible for revdel. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:12, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

== Potential issue with import proposal ==

If the page has already been imported manually and changed since, but the page on the wiki you are importing from has also been changed, then the merge will fail. So is there any kind of right that I could that would let you remove a revision? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:04, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

:Just being an admin. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:02, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::Does the database keep track of if an edit is imported? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:09, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I'm not certain. From what I've seen, it's seamless. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:49, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::::I mean in the backend. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:59, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::I'm not sure. I would think so. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 21:13, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== Online ==

Are you online right now? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:32, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

:I'll have a little availability, but I'm getting sleepy actually--I've been sick lately. :/ —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:02, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== Online ==

Are you still online? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:02, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Diff/3143353|This]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:53, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:51, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

== Bureaucrat ==

I wanted to nominate you for bureaucrat, but I could not think of enough reasons for a full nomination. Could you nominate yourself? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:22, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{not done}} I'm pretty busy now, so picking up extra responsibility seems like a bad idea. :/ —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:51, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::Later? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:52, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Maybe! —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:59, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Diff/3121426|This]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:32, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:38, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

== Hounding ==

I have noticed that a particular new editor here seems to be here only in discussion pages, which is fine in my opinion, but they appear to particularly targeting me (voting against various proposals, listing pages for deletion, etc.), and haven't been doing any mainspsce editing or editing in other discussions, does this count as hounding? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:37, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|AC9016}} Do you agree? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:38, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
:It could be. I haven't seen this behavior yet. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 15:42, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
::[[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|Here]] – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:44, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I have not observed this behavior either. My time on Wikiquote is overwhelmingly spent on creating and editing pages. --[[User:AC9016|AC9016]] ([[User talk:AC9016|talk]]) 15:57, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I see you posted to his talk, so let's see where that goes. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 15:58, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== Strikethrough templates ==

Templates what is your opinion on {{t|Ds}}, {{t|Ts}}, and {{t|Qs}}? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:52, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

:It's not obvious to me why these exist. If you need to semantically mark up that something is deleted or struck, then we have those options, so why do we need to visually have a template that strikes something four times? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:48, 21 July 2022 (UTC)

== Availability ==

When do you think you could help with the js feature requests previously mentioned? Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:04, 21 July 2022 (UTC)

:Which one again? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:11, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
::Not specifically one, several small ones over IRC. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:16, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Oh, not anytime soon. Sorry. :/
:::I have work, school, and travel. I am happy to do continued maintenance on projects where I am an admin (e.g. here), but doing anything ambitious is on an indefinite hold. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:18, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Not that big, only small to medium additions. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:22, 21 July 2022 (UTC)

== AN Archives ==

Hello. I noticed that you sysop-protected [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard/Archive/037]] but this is blocking [[Special:Contribs/MABot|my bot]] from archiving the [[WQ:AN]] as requested. Would you prefer if I start archiving in [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard/Archive/038]] instead? If this is due to vandalism, an AbuseFilter could be created to avoid subpages of the AN to be editted by anyone but sysops and bots. Regards, --[[User:MarcoAurelio|MarcoAurelio]] ([[User talk:MarcoAurelio|talk]]) 11:10, 28 July 2022 (UTC)

:Maybe your bot can just be an admin? I'm not a bureaucrat, so I can't do it unilaterally, but you're a trusted user, so I don't see that as being a problem. I'll unprotect for now. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:30, 28 July 2022 (UTC)
::Thank you. I appreciate your words, but I do not think my bot should have +sysop as it is very dangerous. Bots can, however, edit pages protected up to the autoconfirmed level so if vandalism on that page is an issue you may reprotect it to the &quot;edit: autoconfirmed&quot; level and my bot won't have troubles with bypassing that restriction. Regards, --[[User:MarcoAurelio|MarcoAurelio]] ([[User talk:MarcoAurelio|talk]]) 10:45, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

== Hello ==

I would like to inform you that I have returned here after three weeks.

I mainly left due to the large-scale deletion of my templates and modules, most of which was unjustified. I would like to have these undeleted so the issues with templates can be properly addressed, rather than just deleting them. I would like to start by having these templates undeleted:
* [[Template:T]]
* [[Template:Blockedreason]]
* [[Template:Removed]] (and [[Template:Vote removed]])
Do you think you help with this? And, if so, could you add some-sort-of messaging saying that it is currently being worked-on and should ''not'' be immediately re-VfD'd? Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:44, 11 August 2022 (UTC)

:Welcome. I would recommend starting with the admins who deleted them and see if they think for some reason there was an error or something was deleted out of process. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:50, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
::I am not saying that is out of error, I just think that I can ''easily'' fix the issues that were given as the reason for deletion. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:52, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
:::Also, you would need to undelete the associated sub-pages. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:53, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
:::Sure, well I would still start with the deleting admin. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:55, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
::::{{done}} added a link to this discussion. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:58, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Wait... the deleting admin only deleted it because of a VfD, so if I am able to address the problems raised in the VfD, couldn't it just be undelete without needless bureaucracy? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:17, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
* All I did was close the discussions. In nearly every one, the consensus to delete was unanimous. I would recommend you take some time to consider working on tasks that do not require the creation of large amounts of templates and subpages, give that this wasn't a one-off issue, but one where there were scores of pages that needed to be deleted. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 20:35, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
*:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}} My reason for creating these was not just randomly make bad templates, instead I was trying to implement a much larger idea for Wikiquote, but since it would be such a large change and would require large changes to backend things like php and js, I instead only implemented a very small amount of it. But, since I only implemented small amounts of what actually wanted to do '''without context''', I instead made something that doesn't have any propose or value. So, instead, I would like to make a local 'test wiki' where I can work on larger things like this that can later be implemented properly on the main wiki.
*:Do you think you could help by sending an xml file of the deleted pages? Thanks, – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:31, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
*::I nominated the templates for deletion (and there was unanimous consensus to delete them) because they were fundamentally crap templates. The fact the implementation was terrible was only a small part of the problem, the big issue is that the ''ideas'' behind them were awful. No amount of JavaScript or PHP would have turned those pages into useful templates.
*::You have tried to reinvent processes for no good reason (often in really stupid ways involving obnoxious amounts of pings), you have made pointless duplicate templates that recreate functionality that already exists, and have created templates that should not be used under any situation because they violate fundamental project policies and fly in the face of wiki culture.
*::Of those three templates the first one duplicates a template we already have, the second was another duplicate template but with some really really terrible modifications, and the third was a horrendously bad idea for a template that should never ''ever'' be used under any situation.
*::I would oppose restoring these as the community has made it clear they don't want them. Banning people from nominating them for deletion after a unanimous consensus to delete is also a grossly inappropriate suggestion. The only admin action that I could see being remotely appropriate here is blocking you from template and module space. You clearly do not have the [[W:WP:CIR|competence]] to edit there productively and have made a ridiculous amount of mess treating this project as your personal sandbox that is going to take months and months to clean up. I haven't edited in a week due to real life work, but there is still a vast amount of localisation, clean-up and deletion nominations to be done. Fundamentally as a newbie who has only been here for a couple of months you should not be attempting to &quot;implement a much larger idea for Wikiquote&quot; and completely remake the project according to how you think it should be - that isn't how consensus or wiki communities work. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:02, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
*:::Forgive me, but, is it not &quot;cleaned up&quot; already? All of templates and modules appear to of been deleted. Also, I was not requesting they all be restored. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:49, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
*::::No, it's nowhere near finished. [[Special:WantedCategories]] is still full of clean-up categories that need renaming, merging, and actually creating. There are still a ton of modules and templates that you've copied from other projects without bothering to set them up properly, e.g. [[Module:Pagetype/config]], which still has a load of wikipedia only configurations in it. There are a bunch of unused templates that don't actually make a lot of sense on this project, [[Template:Disputed inline]] doesn't make a great deal of sense when applied to quotations. There are a bunch of templates that I cannot forsee anyone ever using, e.g. [[Template:Background color]] which is used to applying formatting that should never actually be used in pages, &lt;span style=&quot;background-color: orange&quot;&gt;Like this&lt;/span&gt;. And that's before we even get into looking at all the templates that you overwrote with wikipedia specific ones or messed around with for no good reason. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 08:56, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
*:::Please don’t, I have stopped the template creation and will only return to it when I know what I'm doing. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:41, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Don't get discouraged brother or sister. Figure it out. Lord knows I'm lucky to understand how email works some of the time. But do it on a test wiki. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 02:44, 13 August 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Ilovemydoodle&amp;type=revision&amp;diff=3146038&amp;oldid=3145984&amp;diffmode=source This]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:37, 20 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, while it is an inappropriate comment, I don't think it is eligible for RevDel. It is just a &quot;normal&quot; personal attack. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 11:24, 20 August 2022 (UTC)
::I'm a fan of [[:w:en:WP:DENY]] and happy to revdel things that don't even try to add to this site. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:31, 20 August 2022 (UTC)
:::[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Sandbox&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3146034&amp;diffmode=source This] should probably be removed as well. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:50, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
:::Wouldn't say that spending time going back to a month old edit no-one else will be looking at is a way of denying recognition to vandals. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:03, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Okay, if you want to leave this kind of trash in the edit history, you can. As I come across abusive edits like this, I remove them. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:04, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::It's not great to be in the edit history, but we are hiding these kinds of edits from public view. Would you say that the edit revision, as well as the edit summary, is bad enough that it should be hidden from other editors? Particularly with this edit - what is the worst that would happen if it was just left alone? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:09, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::Yes and probably nothing other than giving a troll what he wants. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:12, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Ferien}} Shouldn’t all personal attacks be revdeled? I thought &quot;special&quot; personal attacks are meant to be oversighted. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:52, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
:::{{re|Ilovemydoodle}} No absolutely not. There is no RevDel policy here, and we should definitely get one some point soon, but RevDel is generally only used for grossly inappropriate content. Both of these revisions certainly wouldn't be eligible for revision deletion at all on any other wiki I'm active on, especially not on English Wikipedia. And oversight can only be used for &quot;a blatant attack is one obviously intended to denigrate, threaten, libel, insult, or harass someone.&quot; --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:00, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
::::I think revdel should be used on any edit harmful bad-faith edit. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:38, 22 August 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Contributions/Deadlybreeze|These]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:54, 22 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:02, 22 August 2022 (UTC)
::Also, is [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikimedia_Forum&amp;oldid=23694862#Question_about_dumps_(this_is_actually_needed,_not_just_a_stupid/pointless_question) this] possible? (without dev access) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:10, 22 August 2022 (UTC)
::[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Ilovemydoodle&amp;type=revision&amp;diff=3148586&amp;oldid=3147432&amp;diffmode=source This too]! Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:13, 22 August 2022 (UTC)

== Block request ==

Could you softblock {{u|Ilovemycock}}? (I created it to prevent abuse) Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 10:04, 25 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} by {{u|Ferien}}. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 10:24, 25 August 2022 (UTC)

== Abuse filter ==

Could you import [[test2wiki:Special:AbuseFilter/29|this]] filter onto this wiki? Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:46, 26 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} This is pretty extensive as a filter. I'll have to keep my eyes on it and what kind of hits it gets. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:42, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::Did I do a good job? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:06, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::I think, but we'll find out by trying it. Such is life, I suppose. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:12, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Is there any way to make the filter block a user if they trigger it too much? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:13, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::As I recall, yes, but I'm not an abuse filter whiz. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:20, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::Who would know how to do that? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:21, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I don't even know where to start. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:28, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|Cabayi}} Do you know? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:40, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, it is not the best idea to ping users who are not active on this wiki to something they have not been involved in. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:47, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} I was trying to find a knowledgeable user. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:02, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{re|Ilovemydoodle}} then please head to AN or the Village pump. I have a little bit of experience with abuse filters and how to add to them, although I don't promise to be an abuse filter genius. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:09, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::Thanks, but you should probably remove the 'test' in the name of the filter. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:08, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:Could you give me the abuse helper right so I can check on the filter? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:22, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::I think this would need discussion and consensus first. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:24, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::It doesn’t allow you to edit it, just view it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:50, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Still needs consensus and doesn't exist here.--[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:56, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:Don't want to talk about the contents of the abuse filter too much onwiki but I imagine this could be merged into abuse filter 33. It has the same purpose. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:45, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Ferien}} Mine includes both GRP ''and'' Wikinger, while filter 33 only includes GRP. Maybe 33 could be merged into mine? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:52, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, they are essentially the same vandal. In fact, 34 doesn't really apply to Wikinger at all. It doesn't really matter which one it's merged into but an extensive amount of time has been spent on filter 33 to make it suitable for enwikiquote and their behaviour here. I was just checking and pretty much everything included in filter 34 is in 33 and more. But as I said I don't want to spend much time talking about the filter itself. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:54, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Ferien}} Could you copy it to test2wiki so I could view it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:28, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{u|Koavf}}, Could you do this? (I would like to compare it to my version) Thanks! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:24, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{re|Ilovemydoodle}} I am not sure why you are so concerned about this. Filter 33 is working very well and has significantly decreased the amount of disruption this vandal can cause, there is no need for additional filters or for the filter to be shown to you. It is hidden for a reason. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 10:40, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I would like it copied so I can compare it to my filter. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:08, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
:I updated it, could you re-copy it? Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:27, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::{{not done}}. Importing doesn't work. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:04, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
:::Delete it and then re-import it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:10, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Okay, I can try. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:07, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{Tl|Done}}? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:44, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:12, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Permalink/3130363|This]] Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:27, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{not done}} Why would this be deleted? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:08, 27 August 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>p6lvl4y4yrtmi02t52w5v546k6flgpo</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158678</id>
      <parentid>3158675</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T20:14:15Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Ferien</username>
        <id>3078302</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Abuse filter 2 */ Reply</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="94162" xml:space="preserve">{{User talk:Koavf/Template:Archive}}
&lt;!-- Please leave comments below this line. --&gt;

== Template:Username ==

Could you please make [[Template:Username]] show the User’s name? I need it for several Templates. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:19, 12 June 2022 (UTC)

:What do you have in mind? Does {{tl|Ping}} not work? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:53, 12 June 2022 (UTC)
::I mean the user viewing it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:56, 12 June 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|Kalki}} [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:12, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}}
::::I have no idea what you need. What would the template do? How would you use it? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:42, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::A template that displays the username or IP address of the user viewing it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:49, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::Do you have an example on another wiki that does this? I recalled that there was a magic word for this, but I can't seem to find it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:45, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::No, but this is still a very useful *potential* feature. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:45, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

== Request to add Editnotice ==

Could you add [[User:Ilovemydoodle/FakeBlockMessage|this]] Editnotice to my User and User Talk pages? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:38, 15 June 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} Are you sure you want that message? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:39, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::Yes. Thank you, you are the best admin. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:52, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::Also, it isn't showing up, could you fix this?

::Edit: I think you need to create the page [[Mediawiki:Editnotice-2-Ilovemydoodle|here]] (and [[Mediawiki:Editnotice-3-Ilovemydoodle|here]] for the Talk Page) for it to actually work. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:54, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::That doesn't seem to have done the trick. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:02, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Maybe try some test text instead? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:04, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::I can. Seems like your hack should work, per [[mw:Manual:Interface/Edit notice]], tho. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:05, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::Maybe file a phab report? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:07, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I fixed it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:12, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Could you also protect the page so only I and Administrators can edit it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:50, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::No, there's no way to do that, other than by manually blocking that one page from every user who isn't an admin or you. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:53, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:
{| style=&quot;border: 1px solid gray; background-color: #fdffe7;&quot;
|rowspan=&quot;2&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align:middle;&quot; | [[File:SpecialBarnstar.png|100px]]
|rowspan=&quot;2&quot; |
|style=&quot;font-size: x-large; padding: 0; vertical-align: middle; height: 1.1em;&quot; | '''The Special Barnstar'''
|-
|style=&quot;vertical-align: middle; border-top: 1px solid gray;&quot; | For actually doing this, I think most other Administrators take themselves to far too seriously to do something like this.
|} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:29, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

:Thanks kindly. I'm here to serve. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:35, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

== Merge fork ==

Could you merge my fork of [[Joe Biden]] into the main page (revisions included)? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:59, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

:Probably, but you have to meet me half-way here and link to said fork. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:03, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::[[User:Ilovemydoodle/forks/Main/Joe Biden]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:05, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::&quot;No revisions can be merged.&quot; —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:09, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Why? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:16, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::¯\_(ツ)_/¯ —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:17, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::Try now. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:19, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::&quot;No revisions can be merged.&quot; —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:35, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Maybe try importing them instead? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:37, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::How? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:37, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Okay I figured it, this might sound strange, but it should work, merge [[Joe Biden]] into my fork, delete the original [[Joe Biden]] page and then move my fork to [[Joe Biden]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:49, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::&quot;Source revisions overlap or come after destination revisions.&quot; You should just edit the main article. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:00, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:04, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::Also, do you have any work for me to do on Wikiquote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:05, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::Wow, great question. I think the best thing that can happen here is if someone helps to bring more [[m:Structured Wikiquote|structure and semantics to Wikiquote]]. On a structural level, that is beyond any one person fixing, but anyone can add templates, metadata, etc. E.g. if you cite a source, include a citation template or use proper list semantics, such as not putting line breaks between bullets in a list. That and adding accessibility features like [[:w:en:WP:ALT|alt text]] are important issues to me. Thanks for asking and for all you do around here. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:50, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::I have been doing some of these things for while now, I will continue to do so also doing the other things you mentioned, but I was mainly looking for one or two shorter tasks to do now. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:10, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::Hi {{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, in terms of work to do on Wikiquote:
*[[:Category:Wikiquote no intro]] need intros
*[[:Category:Video games]]' contents needs sorting into categories by year
*[[:Category:Wikiquote cleanup]] has hundreds of articles needing cleanup
*[[Flooding]] could potentially be an article rather than redirect, not 100 percent sure though, depends on quotability.
*There are many entire countries with no article yet. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 16:46, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::Also thank you again Koavf for the admin/maintenance work. I hope we get to see you back at enwiki eventually. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 19:21, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::Thanks, RC! —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:46, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::No worries. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 19:51, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

== Feature ==

Help, I really needed a feature added that lets a Template tell which skin your using. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:58, 19 June 2022 (UTC)

:Wow, I have no idea how to do that. You want to be a thrid party that knows which skin someone is using? I'm not sure that is an option. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:09, 19 June 2022 (UTC)
::I really need it, apparently the background of my talk page break certain features, but only on one skin, and after fixing now it only works on that skin and doesn't work on others, so I really need this fixed, maybe something using css files? 

::Edit: I figured it out, just add some css to the css file for each skin:

::* [[Mediawiki:vector.css]]
::* [[Mediawiki:vector-2022.css]]
::* [[Mediawiki:minerva.css]]
::* [[Mediawiki:monobook.css]]
::* [[Mediawiki:timeless.css]]

::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:55, 19 June 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:23, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
::::I'm confused why you're pinging me. You just wrote, &quot;I figured it out&quot;, so I thought there was no action for me here. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:35, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::No, I meant that I figured out how YOU can fix it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:52, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::What do you want me to insert in the CSS files? I'm reluctant to do this as it will modify the site for all users, but I'm not entirely opposed. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:03, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Just make it you have something that only appears when that skin is active.

:::::::Edit: You can do this by making something invisible in common.css and then setting it visible in the skin’s css file. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:05, 20 June 2022 (UTC)

== Feature request ==

Could you make a very useful JavaScript hack for me? Ping me when your ready and I'll give you more information. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:21, 23 June 2022 (UTC)

:I'm putting something on my calendar for next weekend--I'm busy this weekend. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:42, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
::Could you please do the other request above, though? (I really need it for something) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:44, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
:::All of them exist except one. I'll add a comment to it and then I suppose that resolves it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:53, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
::::No I mean in each file could you put:
::::&lt;code&gt;span.show-[skin name here] {display: initial;}&lt;/code&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;code&gt;span.hide-[skin name here] {display: none;}&lt;/code&gt;
::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:00, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::No, I'm not sure what that will do. I'm trying to think of how that would appear in CSS and that seems like it would not display the user preferences. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 21:01, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::Well, you just add this code to common.css for each skin:
::::::&lt;code&gt;span.show-[skin name here] {display: none;}&lt;/code&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;code&gt;span.hide-[skin name here] {display: initial;}&lt;/code&gt;
::::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:03, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I'm reluctant to do that becuase of the concerns above. Do you have an example wiki where someone did this? I don't want to tinker with site-wide CSS without a really good reason. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 21:04, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Well, I can't think of any other wiki, but this IS quite important. On my user page I implemented a feature that perfectly well for me, but another user informed me that it didn't work in one skin, so I made one for that skin, but it only worked in that skin, so I need some code to differentiate between skins. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:10, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Could please give me more information about this? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:08, 25 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::If I edit site-wide CSS, that will impact all users with a given skin. So I want to be very conservative about doing that and I don't want to even experiment, lest I mess up someone's view of the site. If you have examples of other wikis doing this or can justify why you need it done with some clarity, then maybe I can help you. Better yet woudl be community consensus. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:15, 25 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::Basically, I want a feature where I can create a span with the class &quot;[Skin Name Here]-show&quot; and it will only show it for users viewing in that skin, there would also be a &quot;[Skin Name Here]-hide&quot; which would do the reverse. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:24, 25 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::And I need to have a greater justification than just your personal preference before I tinker with site-wide CSS. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:44, 25 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::A lot of Templates need different code for each skin to display properly. Also, I don't see any harm in adding this. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:46, 25 June 2022 (UTC)

== Response time ==

Is there anyway to have a discussion in real-time? I would like to have several long discussions about feature requests, but that's not really doable if it takes days between each comment. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:23, 26 June 2022 (UTC)

:I have really only used Gchat (or whatever it's called now) for IMing, but sure. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:31, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::What is Gchat? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:32, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::Google's IMing, associated with Gmail. Again, it's been called a million things. Hangouts now? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:33, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Any WMF way of live chat? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:33, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::I think Matrix: [[m:matrix]]. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:38, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::I keep hearing about &quot;libera chat&quot;, is it what I want? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:40, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Correct. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:29, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::So, could you explain what it is and how to do what I am requesting with it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:31, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::I've never used it. I just know that it's the replacement for IRC (which I very rarely used). —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:47, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::What’s IRC again? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:52, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{w|Internet Relay Chat}}, which was more-or-less popular as a group chat option for decades and the best server for it, {{w|Freenode}} was bought by a jerk, so everyone jumped ship to Libera. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:06, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::How does libera work? Would it be good for what I want? And, do you have an account there? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:08, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::It's a good chat service, as I understand it and would meet your needs. I've never used it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:13, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::Can you create an account? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:48, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::Sure, if that's the method you want to use. I'm here to help. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:00, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::::What is the name of your account? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:05, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::::@koavf:matrix.org —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:05, 27 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::::::{{ping|koavf}} I mean on libera. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:38, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::::::Gotcha. I haven't made one yet. I can when I'm free-er. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 12:52, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::::::::When will that be? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:53, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::::::::I have a calendar reminder for the following weekend (i.e. not in a few days but a week and a half). —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 12:58, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::::::::::I am wondering if we can do it today instead? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:07, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::::::::::I cannot. I have a busy-ish day and a very busy day tomorrow. To the extent that I can screw around on the Internet, it has to be pretty limited. I'm happy to meet at a time that's mutually convenient, of course. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 13:10, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
{{Outdent|::::::::::}}Thank you! When your ready I have a lot to discuss. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:17, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
:Also, when your ready, could you leave a message saying so on my Talk Page? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:03, 4 July 2022 (UTC)
::Can do. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:11, 4 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Can you just send me a calendar invite if you need to chat? I'm afraid that it's hard for me to make the time. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:03, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::I am not sure how to do that, do you mean like mentally, or on Wikiquote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:54, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::Sorry, I meant to my email address: justinkoavf[littleanarchysymbol][google's email service][period]com. If you can't do that or don't want to share your email address with me, then please let me know. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:14, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I have had my email address removed a long time ago due to abuse, so I can't use my email. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:18, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::You can't email me directly? That's fine. When would you like to chat? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:35, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::When ever you’re ready to implement a lot of stuff. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:38, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Also, which Template de-indents a discussion? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:58, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{tl|outdent}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:04, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Do you have any set date that you would be willing to help implement (or at-least begin the implementation of) a lot of features? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:28, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Unfortunately, I'm busy with work and personal things in July, so I've had a hard time setting a time. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:34, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Also, why did you obfuscate your email address? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:24, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::What is &quot;[littleanarchysymbol]&quot;? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:12, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Obfuscated for bots. [littleanarchysymbol] = &quot;@&quot;. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:34, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::I’m confused, what do you mean obfuscated for bots? Also, if it's obfuscated how I am meant to read it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:49, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::So that a bot couldn't harvest it and spam me. You may be able to read it because you can decode things that a bot can't. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:48, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Oh. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:03, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== Bug fix ==

In [[Special:ListUsers]] &quot;Administrator&quot; is capitalized, on all other wikis (including Wikipedia) it is lower case. Could you please fix this? You could do this by either making it lower case, or by capitalizing all User Rights. (the second option is the one I prefer) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:28, 26 June 2022 (UTC)

:But all of them are upper case now, so at least that's consistent. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:31, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::Oh wait, I see. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:32, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:I think fixing it would require recreating [[MediaWiki:Administrators]] and making it lower-case, but I'm not sure of all the places where it would be changed. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:34, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::I don't see the problem with doing that. Also, if you prefer it capitalized, you could just capitalize all User Groups. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:36, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::Because it may be transcluded other places where it shouldn't be capitalized. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:37, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Well, it's just fine on en.wp. Also, which option do you prefer? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:39, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::I have no strong feelings on this and while I am actually usually very in favor of consistency and proper usage, this one doesn't bother me much. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:29, 26 June 2022 (UTC)

== A question for you ==

If you ever get unblocked from enwiki, will you still regularly contribute here? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:46, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

:For sure. I plan on it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:13, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

== Issue with your archive page ==

A lot of users used &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{PAGENAME}}&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt; instead &lt;code&gt;koavf&lt;/code&gt; on your Talk Page, so when you archived the page it now says &quot;Hi koavf/archive001&quot; instead of just &quot;Hi koavf.&quot; Could you fix this? (I can't since you protected the page) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:05, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

:Sure, thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:34, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== Rollback vote ==

Could you vote [[Wikiquote:Requests for Rollback/Ilovemydoodle|here]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:51, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:37, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Protection request ==

Could you protect [[User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 1|this page]] so only admins can edit? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:34, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:37, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 1|This page]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:15, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:37, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::Still isn’t done. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:40, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Wait why is the page gone? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:48, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::::It's back. The easiest way to delete dozens of revisions is to delete the entire page and then un-delete the revisions that you want. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:50, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::Ohhhhhhhh. I was really confused why you were deleting the whole page. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:55, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Koavf, could you do a full cleansing of the page? What I mean is removing all vandal revisions to the very beginning (even those already revdeled), and then also removing the reverts of those revisions as well. Could you do this? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:15, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::That should be most of them. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:20, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Could you also remove the undos of vandalism? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:23, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Nothing even displays: https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive_1&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3139360 Is this really necessary? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:25, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::I would like to do it, to reduce clutter and potential for confusion, so, yes. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:32, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::Thank you, Koavf! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:51, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

== Protected edit request ==

Could you change [[Template:Test4]] to redirect to [[Template:Uw-vandalism4]] to match Wikipedia? Also, to make the progression to 4im make more sense. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:34, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:37, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Abuse Filter ==

: ''{{ping|Antandrus}} Could you also give your comment on this?''

Could you add the following terms to the Abuse Filter:

* VKKSTUPID (any capitalization)
* VKKSTUPIDITY (any capitalization)
* AANT (any capitalization)
* AANTANDRUS (any capitalization)
* encyclopediadramatica.online (any capitalization)
* g'p (any capitalization)
* g’p (any capitalization)
* encyclopediadr'matica (any capitalization)
* Antandrus david (any capitalization)
* Ilovemycock (any capitalization)
* Ilovemycok (any capitalization)
* Ethandeath (any capitalization)
* Antdeath (any capitalization)
* ANTANDRUS FUCK BUDDY (any capitalization)
* ANTANDRUS FUKBUDDY (any capitalization)
* FUKBUDDY (any capitalization)
* WP:BOYS (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* Chicago Boys (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* Wikidiot (any capitalization)
* Wikiidiot (any capitalization)
* WMFloser (any capitalization)
* Wikiloser (any capitalization)
* Wikipedo (any capitalization)
* Wikipedoa (any capitalization)
* PAVLOL (any capitalization)
* pause for breath (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* HAHAHA (specified capitalization only)
* ANT COCK (any capitalization)
* GLOBLALY (any capitalization)
* da clock (any capitalization)
* archive.is (any capitalization)
* archive.ph (any capitalization)
* ATTAX (any capitalization)
* REMOVETD (any capitalization)
* JAN PAWEŁ (any capitalization)
* WMF squm (any capitalization)
* 'n' (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* WMFhomopedo (any capitalization)
* as proven! (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* ilovemydoodle = (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* G-R-P (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* GLOBAL BAN EVADER (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* ANT-ANDRUS (any capitalization)
* AANT-ANDRUS (any capitalization)
* ILOVEMYDOODLE LOVES (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* a r c h i v e (any capitalization)
* WMFVOMIT (any capitalization)
* WMFCANCER (any capitalization)
* the fodder (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* THANX (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* THX (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* all is saved (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* forever blocked (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* blocked loser (any capitalization)
* fuckbuddy ant (any capitalization)
* fuckbuddy antandrus (any capitalization)
* antandr's (any capitalization)
* HAHAHAHAHA (specified capitalization only)
* PAUSE FOR BREATH (specified capitalization only)
* O YEA (specified capitalization only)
* o yea (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* yea YEA (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* U CANT SLEEP (any capitalization)
* ANT-STN (any capitalization)
* ency'lopediadram'tica (any capitalization)
* GLOBA LOSER (any capitalization)
* GLOBAL LOSER (any capitalization)
* IN YOUR FACES (specified capitalization only)
* in your faces (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* vvkrejects (any capitalization)
* VVK (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* IN YO FACES (any capitalization)
* vvkhypocrite (any capitalization)
* FOFFER (any capitalization)
* real life stalker (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* REAL LIFE STALKER (specified capitalization only)
* DEFYING LOGIC (specified capitalization only)
* FOR WMF (specified capitalization only)
* globally blocked lta (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* GLOBALLY BLOCKED LTA (specified capitalization only)
* WMF RESPECT (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* wikitruth (any capitalization)
* wmf stands for (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* wmf stand for (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* WMF STANDS FOR (specified capitalization only)
* WMF STAND FOR (specified capitalization only)
* I LOVE MY COCK (any capitalization)
* wmf total (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* WMF TOTAL (specified capitalization only)
* fight u (any capitalization)
* ET AL (specified capitalization only)
* zero brains (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* BL*TANT (any capitalization)
* utm*st (any capitalization)
* UTMOST (specified capitalization only)
* Suckpuppet (any capitalization)
* wikihomopedoia (any capitalization)
* ED loser (any capitalization)
* HAHAHAHAHAHA (specified capitalization only)
* AKA (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* VVKLOSER (any capitalization)
– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:46, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

:I've edited the abuse filter before, but I'm not a whiz at it. Note that blocking edits outright based on some of these filters would certainly disrupt standard editing. I feel like this is probably not the best way to stop vandalism and would want to get more consensus from the community. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:52, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
::How about you block the ones that are obviously vandalism entirely. And the potentially good-faith ones could be allowed only for autoconfirmed. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:17, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I'd still want a broader consensus. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:22, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Also, could you protect [[Wikiquote:Village pump archive 60|this page]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:24, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
:Imagine what GRP would do if when he next logs in Wikiquote using one of his 50 trillion VPNs, and all of his favorite buzzwords get blocked by the Abuse Filter. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:56, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
::Again, please post to the Village Pump to get consensus. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:15, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:44, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

== Quick fix needed ==

Could you please create [[MediaWiki:Dot-separator|this page]]? It's needed for a lot of templates on Wikipedia, so when I import them, they don't work. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:04, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:16, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::Question: how do you import revisions? I regularly import templates from Wikipedia, so it would be nice to be able to import the revisions too. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:39, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::[[Special:Import]], if you are an admin. You are not importing, you're just copying and pasting, which is fine as long as you give attribution in the edit summary or the talk page. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:43, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Is there anyway to import '''without''' being an admin? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:45, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::No, just ask an admin to do it. Again, it's fine to completely reproduce any of the content from any WMF project anywhere, it just requires attribution. The problem with copy/paste &quot;importing&quot; is that it may not import all dependencies. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:49, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Well, I know how to import dependencies, I would just like the ability to import revisions too, as I import hundreds of templates regularly. Also, when copying I often forget to attribute. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:54, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::If you forget, in practice, it's not the biggest deal in the world, but you really should post a note on the talk page saying where it came from and how someone could find attribution at the original source. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:55, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Well, according to [[w:WP:IMPORTS|this]], there is a group for &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt;, just like &lt;code&gt;rollback&lt;/code&gt;. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:59, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Heads up that it's [[:w:en:Help:Import]] or [[:w:en:WP:IMPORT]]. In theory, we can activate importer and transwiki importers here, but we [[Special:ListUsers/import|don't have any]] and I personally can't do it, as it requires a bureaucrat. Generally, import rights outside of being an admin is rare and reserved for weird circumstances (e.g. a user on en.wp who has access to very old server logs and imports edits from 2001 occasionally). —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:04, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Can I make a request? And, if so, where? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:19, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::You can request import at the admin's noticeboard. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:25, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:40, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

Could please revdel these two revisions? (they are both by the same vandal)
* [[Special:Diff/3140786|1]]
* [[Special:Diff/3140787|2]]
– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:08, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:10, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::Second one too? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:12, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I think you forgot the second one. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:10, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Check again. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:06, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Kim_Il-sung&amp;oldid=3140787 Still there] – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:20, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Gotcha. I deleted the edit summary. Thanks: hate speech has no place here except in the context of historically meaningful and educational quotations.o —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:33, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Could you also give feedback to my question on the village pump? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:36, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== Protection request ==

Could you protect [[User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 1|this page]] so only admins can edit? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:11, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} I already did that. Now I've done it twice. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:07, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== Question about the abuse filter ==

Can importing revisions ever trigger the abuse filter? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:19, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:Probably? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:35, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::Which user right (not group) allows you to bypass the abuse filter? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:01, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I don't know anything more than this: [[:mw:Extension:AbuseFilter#User_rights]]. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 15:55, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Who would know more about this? Should I ping Aklapper? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:13, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::Possibly. I think a lot of folks on en.wp would know. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:31, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I already asked a few hours ago on the help desk, still no response. I also asked on meta, also no response. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:33, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I got two answers, here: [[m:Special:Diff/23515465|meta]], [[w:Special:Diff/1097930390|wikipedia]]. So the answer (thankfully) appears to be no. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:52, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

== Importer proposal ==

Could you give me feedback on my importer proposal? (not for/against, just about improving the proposal) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:54, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== &lt;s&gt;Emergency&lt;/s&gt; ==

&lt;s&gt;QOTD missing!&lt;/s&gt; {{done}} by Kalki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:01, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

== Question about my import proposal ==

Some of the permissions I know for sure are needed, for others I am pretty sure, and a few are just guesses. So, do you know who specifically I could ask about this? This would make sure that ones that are not needed can be removed, and that needed ones that are not listed can be added. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:47, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

:I don't have a recommendation on this, no. It's your proposal: you can make it however you want. You just need to be clear and explain your reasoning. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 11:16, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

== &lt;s&gt;QOTD&lt;/s&gt;==

&lt;s&gt;QOTD is missing!&lt;/s&gt; {{done}} by Kalki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:22, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Question about my requests to you that could be asked more generally on VP or AN ==

Are you okay with this, or does it bother you? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:32, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

:If the worst thing that happens to me here is that someone is too enthusiastic, that's a good problem to have. I like your edits and interest in helping out. I just want to make sure that any kind of radical changes get larger community support. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:37, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Contributions/Mr. Dick Pump|These two edits]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:28, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:56, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:contribs/2001:E68:6125:E800:9458:3779:9236:6072|Three edit summaries]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:16, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:57, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:contribs/2603:6010:c600:a8:40c4:fa43:6b2d:63ac|Three revisions]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:00, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

:&lt;small&gt;([[:w:WP:TPS|talk page stalker]])&lt;/small&gt; {{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, {{done}} but only one revision. The others aren't eligible for revdel. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:12, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

== Potential issue with import proposal ==

If the page has already been imported manually and changed since, but the page on the wiki you are importing from has also been changed, then the merge will fail. So is there any kind of right that I could that would let you remove a revision? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:04, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

:Just being an admin. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:02, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::Does the database keep track of if an edit is imported? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:09, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I'm not certain. From what I've seen, it's seamless. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:49, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::::I mean in the backend. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:59, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::I'm not sure. I would think so. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 21:13, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== Online ==

Are you online right now? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:32, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

:I'll have a little availability, but I'm getting sleepy actually--I've been sick lately. :/ —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:02, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== Online ==

Are you still online? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:02, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Diff/3143353|This]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:53, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:51, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

== Bureaucrat ==

I wanted to nominate you for bureaucrat, but I could not think of enough reasons for a full nomination. Could you nominate yourself? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:22, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{not done}} I'm pretty busy now, so picking up extra responsibility seems like a bad idea. :/ —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:51, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::Later? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:52, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Maybe! —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:59, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Diff/3121426|This]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:32, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:38, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

== Hounding ==

I have noticed that a particular new editor here seems to be here only in discussion pages, which is fine in my opinion, but they appear to particularly targeting me (voting against various proposals, listing pages for deletion, etc.), and haven't been doing any mainspsce editing or editing in other discussions, does this count as hounding? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:37, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|AC9016}} Do you agree? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:38, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
:It could be. I haven't seen this behavior yet. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 15:42, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
::[[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|Here]] – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:44, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I have not observed this behavior either. My time on Wikiquote is overwhelmingly spent on creating and editing pages. --[[User:AC9016|AC9016]] ([[User talk:AC9016|talk]]) 15:57, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I see you posted to his talk, so let's see where that goes. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 15:58, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== Strikethrough templates ==

Templates what is your opinion on {{t|Ds}}, {{t|Ts}}, and {{t|Qs}}? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:52, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

:It's not obvious to me why these exist. If you need to semantically mark up that something is deleted or struck, then we have those options, so why do we need to visually have a template that strikes something four times? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:48, 21 July 2022 (UTC)

== Availability ==

When do you think you could help with the js feature requests previously mentioned? Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:04, 21 July 2022 (UTC)

:Which one again? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:11, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
::Not specifically one, several small ones over IRC. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:16, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Oh, not anytime soon. Sorry. :/
:::I have work, school, and travel. I am happy to do continued maintenance on projects where I am an admin (e.g. here), but doing anything ambitious is on an indefinite hold. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:18, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Not that big, only small to medium additions. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:22, 21 July 2022 (UTC)

== AN Archives ==

Hello. I noticed that you sysop-protected [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard/Archive/037]] but this is blocking [[Special:Contribs/MABot|my bot]] from archiving the [[WQ:AN]] as requested. Would you prefer if I start archiving in [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard/Archive/038]] instead? If this is due to vandalism, an AbuseFilter could be created to avoid subpages of the AN to be editted by anyone but sysops and bots. Regards, --[[User:MarcoAurelio|MarcoAurelio]] ([[User talk:MarcoAurelio|talk]]) 11:10, 28 July 2022 (UTC)

:Maybe your bot can just be an admin? I'm not a bureaucrat, so I can't do it unilaterally, but you're a trusted user, so I don't see that as being a problem. I'll unprotect for now. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:30, 28 July 2022 (UTC)
::Thank you. I appreciate your words, but I do not think my bot should have +sysop as it is very dangerous. Bots can, however, edit pages protected up to the autoconfirmed level so if vandalism on that page is an issue you may reprotect it to the &quot;edit: autoconfirmed&quot; level and my bot won't have troubles with bypassing that restriction. Regards, --[[User:MarcoAurelio|MarcoAurelio]] ([[User talk:MarcoAurelio|talk]]) 10:45, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

== Hello ==

I would like to inform you that I have returned here after three weeks.

I mainly left due to the large-scale deletion of my templates and modules, most of which was unjustified. I would like to have these undeleted so the issues with templates can be properly addressed, rather than just deleting them. I would like to start by having these templates undeleted:
* [[Template:T]]
* [[Template:Blockedreason]]
* [[Template:Removed]] (and [[Template:Vote removed]])
Do you think you help with this? And, if so, could you add some-sort-of messaging saying that it is currently being worked-on and should ''not'' be immediately re-VfD'd? Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:44, 11 August 2022 (UTC)

:Welcome. I would recommend starting with the admins who deleted them and see if they think for some reason there was an error or something was deleted out of process. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:50, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
::I am not saying that is out of error, I just think that I can ''easily'' fix the issues that were given as the reason for deletion. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:52, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
:::Also, you would need to undelete the associated sub-pages. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:53, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
:::Sure, well I would still start with the deleting admin. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:55, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
::::{{done}} added a link to this discussion. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:58, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Wait... the deleting admin only deleted it because of a VfD, so if I am able to address the problems raised in the VfD, couldn't it just be undelete without needless bureaucracy? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:17, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
* All I did was close the discussions. In nearly every one, the consensus to delete was unanimous. I would recommend you take some time to consider working on tasks that do not require the creation of large amounts of templates and subpages, give that this wasn't a one-off issue, but one where there were scores of pages that needed to be deleted. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 20:35, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
*:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}} My reason for creating these was not just randomly make bad templates, instead I was trying to implement a much larger idea for Wikiquote, but since it would be such a large change and would require large changes to backend things like php and js, I instead only implemented a very small amount of it. But, since I only implemented small amounts of what actually wanted to do '''without context''', I instead made something that doesn't have any propose or value. So, instead, I would like to make a local 'test wiki' where I can work on larger things like this that can later be implemented properly on the main wiki.
*:Do you think you could help by sending an xml file of the deleted pages? Thanks, – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:31, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
*::I nominated the templates for deletion (and there was unanimous consensus to delete them) because they were fundamentally crap templates. The fact the implementation was terrible was only a small part of the problem, the big issue is that the ''ideas'' behind them were awful. No amount of JavaScript or PHP would have turned those pages into useful templates.
*::You have tried to reinvent processes for no good reason (often in really stupid ways involving obnoxious amounts of pings), you have made pointless duplicate templates that recreate functionality that already exists, and have created templates that should not be used under any situation because they violate fundamental project policies and fly in the face of wiki culture.
*::Of those three templates the first one duplicates a template we already have, the second was another duplicate template but with some really really terrible modifications, and the third was a horrendously bad idea for a template that should never ''ever'' be used under any situation.
*::I would oppose restoring these as the community has made it clear they don't want them. Banning people from nominating them for deletion after a unanimous consensus to delete is also a grossly inappropriate suggestion. The only admin action that I could see being remotely appropriate here is blocking you from template and module space. You clearly do not have the [[W:WP:CIR|competence]] to edit there productively and have made a ridiculous amount of mess treating this project as your personal sandbox that is going to take months and months to clean up. I haven't edited in a week due to real life work, but there is still a vast amount of localisation, clean-up and deletion nominations to be done. Fundamentally as a newbie who has only been here for a couple of months you should not be attempting to &quot;implement a much larger idea for Wikiquote&quot; and completely remake the project according to how you think it should be - that isn't how consensus or wiki communities work. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:02, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
*:::Forgive me, but, is it not &quot;cleaned up&quot; already? All of templates and modules appear to of been deleted. Also, I was not requesting they all be restored. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:49, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
*::::No, it's nowhere near finished. [[Special:WantedCategories]] is still full of clean-up categories that need renaming, merging, and actually creating. There are still a ton of modules and templates that you've copied from other projects without bothering to set them up properly, e.g. [[Module:Pagetype/config]], which still has a load of wikipedia only configurations in it. There are a bunch of unused templates that don't actually make a lot of sense on this project, [[Template:Disputed inline]] doesn't make a great deal of sense when applied to quotations. There are a bunch of templates that I cannot forsee anyone ever using, e.g. [[Template:Background color]] which is used to applying formatting that should never actually be used in pages, &lt;span style=&quot;background-color: orange&quot;&gt;Like this&lt;/span&gt;. And that's before we even get into looking at all the templates that you overwrote with wikipedia specific ones or messed around with for no good reason. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 08:56, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
*:::Please don’t, I have stopped the template creation and will only return to it when I know what I'm doing. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:41, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Don't get discouraged brother or sister. Figure it out. Lord knows I'm lucky to understand how email works some of the time. But do it on a test wiki. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 02:44, 13 August 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Ilovemydoodle&amp;type=revision&amp;diff=3146038&amp;oldid=3145984&amp;diffmode=source This]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:37, 20 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, while it is an inappropriate comment, I don't think it is eligible for RevDel. It is just a &quot;normal&quot; personal attack. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 11:24, 20 August 2022 (UTC)
::I'm a fan of [[:w:en:WP:DENY]] and happy to revdel things that don't even try to add to this site. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:31, 20 August 2022 (UTC)
:::[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Sandbox&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3146034&amp;diffmode=source This] should probably be removed as well. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:50, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
:::Wouldn't say that spending time going back to a month old edit no-one else will be looking at is a way of denying recognition to vandals. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:03, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Okay, if you want to leave this kind of trash in the edit history, you can. As I come across abusive edits like this, I remove them. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:04, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::It's not great to be in the edit history, but we are hiding these kinds of edits from public view. Would you say that the edit revision, as well as the edit summary, is bad enough that it should be hidden from other editors? Particularly with this edit - what is the worst that would happen if it was just left alone? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:09, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::Yes and probably nothing other than giving a troll what he wants. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:12, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Ferien}} Shouldn’t all personal attacks be revdeled? I thought &quot;special&quot; personal attacks are meant to be oversighted. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:52, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
:::{{re|Ilovemydoodle}} No absolutely not. There is no RevDel policy here, and we should definitely get one some point soon, but RevDel is generally only used for grossly inappropriate content. Both of these revisions certainly wouldn't be eligible for revision deletion at all on any other wiki I'm active on, especially not on English Wikipedia. And oversight can only be used for &quot;a blatant attack is one obviously intended to denigrate, threaten, libel, insult, or harass someone.&quot; --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:00, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
::::I think revdel should be used on any edit harmful bad-faith edit. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:38, 22 August 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Contributions/Deadlybreeze|These]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:54, 22 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:02, 22 August 2022 (UTC)
::Also, is [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikimedia_Forum&amp;oldid=23694862#Question_about_dumps_(this_is_actually_needed,_not_just_a_stupid/pointless_question) this] possible? (without dev access) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:10, 22 August 2022 (UTC)
::[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Ilovemydoodle&amp;type=revision&amp;diff=3148586&amp;oldid=3147432&amp;diffmode=source This too]! Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:13, 22 August 2022 (UTC)

== Block request ==

Could you softblock {{u|Ilovemycock}}? (I created it to prevent abuse) Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 10:04, 25 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} by {{u|Ferien}}. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 10:24, 25 August 2022 (UTC)

== Abuse filter ==

Could you import [[test2wiki:Special:AbuseFilter/29|this]] filter onto this wiki? Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:46, 26 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} This is pretty extensive as a filter. I'll have to keep my eyes on it and what kind of hits it gets. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:42, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::Did I do a good job? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:06, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::I think, but we'll find out by trying it. Such is life, I suppose. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:12, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Is there any way to make the filter block a user if they trigger it too much? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:13, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::As I recall, yes, but I'm not an abuse filter whiz. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:20, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::Who would know how to do that? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:21, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I don't even know where to start. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:28, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|Cabayi}} Do you know? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:40, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, it is not the best idea to ping users who are not active on this wiki to something they have not been involved in. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:47, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} I was trying to find a knowledgeable user. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:02, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{re|Ilovemydoodle}} then please head to AN or the Village pump. I have a little bit of experience with abuse filters and how to add to them, although I don't promise to be an abuse filter genius. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:09, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::Thanks, but you should probably remove the 'test' in the name of the filter. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:08, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:Could you give me the abuse helper right so I can check on the filter? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:22, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::I think this would need discussion and consensus first. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:24, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::It doesn’t allow you to edit it, just view it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:50, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Still needs consensus and doesn't exist here.--[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:56, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:Don't want to talk about the contents of the abuse filter too much onwiki but I imagine this could be merged into abuse filter 33. It has the same purpose. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:45, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Ferien}} Mine includes both GRP ''and'' Wikinger, while filter 33 only includes GRP. Maybe 33 could be merged into mine? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:52, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, they are essentially the same vandal. In fact, 34 doesn't really apply to Wikinger at all. It doesn't really matter which one it's merged into but an extensive amount of time has been spent on filter 33 to make it suitable for enwikiquote and their behaviour here. I was just checking and pretty much everything included in filter 34 is in 33 and more. But as I said I don't want to spend much time talking about the filter itself. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:54, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Ferien}} Could you copy it to test2wiki so I could view it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:28, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{u|Koavf}}, Could you do this? (I would like to compare it to my version) Thanks! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:24, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{re|Ilovemydoodle}} I am not sure why you are so concerned about this. Filter 33 is working very well and has significantly decreased the amount of disruption this vandal can cause, there is no need for additional filters or for the filter to be shown to you. It is hidden for a reason. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 10:40, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I would like it copied so I can compare it to my filter. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:08, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{re|Ilovemydoodle}} But why do you need to compare it to filter 33 when I already have done so? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:14, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
:I updated it, could you re-copy it? Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:27, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::{{not done}}. Importing doesn't work. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:04, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
:::Delete it and then re-import it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:10, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Okay, I can try. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:07, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{Tl|Done}}? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:44, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:12, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Permalink/3130363|This]] Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:27, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{not done}} Why would this be deleted? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:08, 27 August 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>gk13fg6uzqzba9kf5f0yowwcnw4u4fh</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158691</id>
      <parentid>3158678</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T21:56:55Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Ilovemydoodle</username>
        <id>3120156</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Abuse filter 2 */ Reply</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="94403" xml:space="preserve">{{User talk:Koavf/Template:Archive}}
&lt;!-- Please leave comments below this line. --&gt;

== Template:Username ==

Could you please make [[Template:Username]] show the User’s name? I need it for several Templates. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:19, 12 June 2022 (UTC)

:What do you have in mind? Does {{tl|Ping}} not work? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:53, 12 June 2022 (UTC)
::I mean the user viewing it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:56, 12 June 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|Kalki}} [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:12, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}}
::::I have no idea what you need. What would the template do? How would you use it? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:42, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::A template that displays the username or IP address of the user viewing it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:49, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::Do you have an example on another wiki that does this? I recalled that there was a magic word for this, but I can't seem to find it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:45, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::No, but this is still a very useful *potential* feature. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:45, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

== Request to add Editnotice ==

Could you add [[User:Ilovemydoodle/FakeBlockMessage|this]] Editnotice to my User and User Talk pages? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:38, 15 June 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} Are you sure you want that message? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:39, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::Yes. Thank you, you are the best admin. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:52, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::Also, it isn't showing up, could you fix this?

::Edit: I think you need to create the page [[Mediawiki:Editnotice-2-Ilovemydoodle|here]] (and [[Mediawiki:Editnotice-3-Ilovemydoodle|here]] for the Talk Page) for it to actually work. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:54, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::That doesn't seem to have done the trick. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:02, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Maybe try some test text instead? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:04, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::I can. Seems like your hack should work, per [[mw:Manual:Interface/Edit notice]], tho. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:05, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::Maybe file a phab report? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:07, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I fixed it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:12, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Could you also protect the page so only I and Administrators can edit it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:50, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::No, there's no way to do that, other than by manually blocking that one page from every user who isn't an admin or you. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:53, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:
{| style=&quot;border: 1px solid gray; background-color: #fdffe7;&quot;
|rowspan=&quot;2&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align:middle;&quot; | [[File:SpecialBarnstar.png|100px]]
|rowspan=&quot;2&quot; |
|style=&quot;font-size: x-large; padding: 0; vertical-align: middle; height: 1.1em;&quot; | '''The Special Barnstar'''
|-
|style=&quot;vertical-align: middle; border-top: 1px solid gray;&quot; | For actually doing this, I think most other Administrators take themselves to far too seriously to do something like this.
|} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:29, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

:Thanks kindly. I'm here to serve. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:35, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

== Merge fork ==

Could you merge my fork of [[Joe Biden]] into the main page (revisions included)? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:59, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

:Probably, but you have to meet me half-way here and link to said fork. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:03, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::[[User:Ilovemydoodle/forks/Main/Joe Biden]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:05, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::&quot;No revisions can be merged.&quot; —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:09, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Why? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:16, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::¯\_(ツ)_/¯ —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:17, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::Try now. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:19, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::&quot;No revisions can be merged.&quot; —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:35, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Maybe try importing them instead? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:37, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::How? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:37, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Okay I figured it, this might sound strange, but it should work, merge [[Joe Biden]] into my fork, delete the original [[Joe Biden]] page and then move my fork to [[Joe Biden]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:49, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::&quot;Source revisions overlap or come after destination revisions.&quot; You should just edit the main article. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:00, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:04, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::Also, do you have any work for me to do on Wikiquote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:05, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::Wow, great question. I think the best thing that can happen here is if someone helps to bring more [[m:Structured Wikiquote|structure and semantics to Wikiquote]]. On a structural level, that is beyond any one person fixing, but anyone can add templates, metadata, etc. E.g. if you cite a source, include a citation template or use proper list semantics, such as not putting line breaks between bullets in a list. That and adding accessibility features like [[:w:en:WP:ALT|alt text]] are important issues to me. Thanks for asking and for all you do around here. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:50, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::I have been doing some of these things for while now, I will continue to do so also doing the other things you mentioned, but I was mainly looking for one or two shorter tasks to do now. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:10, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::Hi {{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, in terms of work to do on Wikiquote:
*[[:Category:Wikiquote no intro]] need intros
*[[:Category:Video games]]' contents needs sorting into categories by year
*[[:Category:Wikiquote cleanup]] has hundreds of articles needing cleanup
*[[Flooding]] could potentially be an article rather than redirect, not 100 percent sure though, depends on quotability.
*There are many entire countries with no article yet. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 16:46, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::Also thank you again Koavf for the admin/maintenance work. I hope we get to see you back at enwiki eventually. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 19:21, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::Thanks, RC! —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:46, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::No worries. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 19:51, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

== Feature ==

Help, I really needed a feature added that lets a Template tell which skin your using. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:58, 19 June 2022 (UTC)

:Wow, I have no idea how to do that. You want to be a thrid party that knows which skin someone is using? I'm not sure that is an option. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:09, 19 June 2022 (UTC)
::I really need it, apparently the background of my talk page break certain features, but only on one skin, and after fixing now it only works on that skin and doesn't work on others, so I really need this fixed, maybe something using css files? 

::Edit: I figured it out, just add some css to the css file for each skin:

::* [[Mediawiki:vector.css]]
::* [[Mediawiki:vector-2022.css]]
::* [[Mediawiki:minerva.css]]
::* [[Mediawiki:monobook.css]]
::* [[Mediawiki:timeless.css]]

::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:55, 19 June 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:23, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
::::I'm confused why you're pinging me. You just wrote, &quot;I figured it out&quot;, so I thought there was no action for me here. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:35, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::No, I meant that I figured out how YOU can fix it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:52, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::What do you want me to insert in the CSS files? I'm reluctant to do this as it will modify the site for all users, but I'm not entirely opposed. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:03, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Just make it you have something that only appears when that skin is active.

:::::::Edit: You can do this by making something invisible in common.css and then setting it visible in the skin’s css file. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:05, 20 June 2022 (UTC)

== Feature request ==

Could you make a very useful JavaScript hack for me? Ping me when your ready and I'll give you more information. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:21, 23 June 2022 (UTC)

:I'm putting something on my calendar for next weekend--I'm busy this weekend. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:42, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
::Could you please do the other request above, though? (I really need it for something) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:44, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
:::All of them exist except one. I'll add a comment to it and then I suppose that resolves it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:53, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
::::No I mean in each file could you put:
::::&lt;code&gt;span.show-[skin name here] {display: initial;}&lt;/code&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;code&gt;span.hide-[skin name here] {display: none;}&lt;/code&gt;
::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:00, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::No, I'm not sure what that will do. I'm trying to think of how that would appear in CSS and that seems like it would not display the user preferences. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 21:01, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::Well, you just add this code to common.css for each skin:
::::::&lt;code&gt;span.show-[skin name here] {display: none;}&lt;/code&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;code&gt;span.hide-[skin name here] {display: initial;}&lt;/code&gt;
::::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:03, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I'm reluctant to do that becuase of the concerns above. Do you have an example wiki where someone did this? I don't want to tinker with site-wide CSS without a really good reason. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 21:04, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Well, I can't think of any other wiki, but this IS quite important. On my user page I implemented a feature that perfectly well for me, but another user informed me that it didn't work in one skin, so I made one for that skin, but it only worked in that skin, so I need some code to differentiate between skins. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:10, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Could please give me more information about this? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:08, 25 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::If I edit site-wide CSS, that will impact all users with a given skin. So I want to be very conservative about doing that and I don't want to even experiment, lest I mess up someone's view of the site. If you have examples of other wikis doing this or can justify why you need it done with some clarity, then maybe I can help you. Better yet woudl be community consensus. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:15, 25 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::Basically, I want a feature where I can create a span with the class &quot;[Skin Name Here]-show&quot; and it will only show it for users viewing in that skin, there would also be a &quot;[Skin Name Here]-hide&quot; which would do the reverse. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:24, 25 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::And I need to have a greater justification than just your personal preference before I tinker with site-wide CSS. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:44, 25 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::A lot of Templates need different code for each skin to display properly. Also, I don't see any harm in adding this. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:46, 25 June 2022 (UTC)

== Response time ==

Is there anyway to have a discussion in real-time? I would like to have several long discussions about feature requests, but that's not really doable if it takes days between each comment. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:23, 26 June 2022 (UTC)

:I have really only used Gchat (or whatever it's called now) for IMing, but sure. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:31, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::What is Gchat? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:32, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::Google's IMing, associated with Gmail. Again, it's been called a million things. Hangouts now? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:33, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Any WMF way of live chat? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:33, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::I think Matrix: [[m:matrix]]. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:38, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::I keep hearing about &quot;libera chat&quot;, is it what I want? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:40, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Correct. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:29, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::So, could you explain what it is and how to do what I am requesting with it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:31, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::I've never used it. I just know that it's the replacement for IRC (which I very rarely used). —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:47, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::What’s IRC again? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:52, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{w|Internet Relay Chat}}, which was more-or-less popular as a group chat option for decades and the best server for it, {{w|Freenode}} was bought by a jerk, so everyone jumped ship to Libera. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:06, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::How does libera work? Would it be good for what I want? And, do you have an account there? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:08, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::It's a good chat service, as I understand it and would meet your needs. I've never used it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:13, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::Can you create an account? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:48, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::Sure, if that's the method you want to use. I'm here to help. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:00, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::::What is the name of your account? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:05, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::::@koavf:matrix.org —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:05, 27 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::::::{{ping|koavf}} I mean on libera. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:38, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::::::Gotcha. I haven't made one yet. I can when I'm free-er. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 12:52, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::::::::When will that be? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:53, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::::::::I have a calendar reminder for the following weekend (i.e. not in a few days but a week and a half). —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 12:58, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::::::::::I am wondering if we can do it today instead? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:07, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::::::::::I cannot. I have a busy-ish day and a very busy day tomorrow. To the extent that I can screw around on the Internet, it has to be pretty limited. I'm happy to meet at a time that's mutually convenient, of course. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 13:10, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
{{Outdent|::::::::::}}Thank you! When your ready I have a lot to discuss. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:17, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
:Also, when your ready, could you leave a message saying so on my Talk Page? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:03, 4 July 2022 (UTC)
::Can do. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:11, 4 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Can you just send me a calendar invite if you need to chat? I'm afraid that it's hard for me to make the time. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:03, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::I am not sure how to do that, do you mean like mentally, or on Wikiquote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:54, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::Sorry, I meant to my email address: justinkoavf[littleanarchysymbol][google's email service][period]com. If you can't do that or don't want to share your email address with me, then please let me know. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:14, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I have had my email address removed a long time ago due to abuse, so I can't use my email. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:18, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::You can't email me directly? That's fine. When would you like to chat? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:35, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::When ever you’re ready to implement a lot of stuff. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:38, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Also, which Template de-indents a discussion? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:58, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{tl|outdent}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:04, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Do you have any set date that you would be willing to help implement (or at-least begin the implementation of) a lot of features? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:28, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Unfortunately, I'm busy with work and personal things in July, so I've had a hard time setting a time. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:34, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Also, why did you obfuscate your email address? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:24, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::What is &quot;[littleanarchysymbol]&quot;? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:12, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Obfuscated for bots. [littleanarchysymbol] = &quot;@&quot;. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:34, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::I’m confused, what do you mean obfuscated for bots? Also, if it's obfuscated how I am meant to read it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:49, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::So that a bot couldn't harvest it and spam me. You may be able to read it because you can decode things that a bot can't. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:48, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Oh. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:03, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== Bug fix ==

In [[Special:ListUsers]] &quot;Administrator&quot; is capitalized, on all other wikis (including Wikipedia) it is lower case. Could you please fix this? You could do this by either making it lower case, or by capitalizing all User Rights. (the second option is the one I prefer) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:28, 26 June 2022 (UTC)

:But all of them are upper case now, so at least that's consistent. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:31, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::Oh wait, I see. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:32, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:I think fixing it would require recreating [[MediaWiki:Administrators]] and making it lower-case, but I'm not sure of all the places where it would be changed. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:34, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::I don't see the problem with doing that. Also, if you prefer it capitalized, you could just capitalize all User Groups. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:36, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::Because it may be transcluded other places where it shouldn't be capitalized. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:37, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Well, it's just fine on en.wp. Also, which option do you prefer? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:39, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::I have no strong feelings on this and while I am actually usually very in favor of consistency and proper usage, this one doesn't bother me much. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:29, 26 June 2022 (UTC)

== A question for you ==

If you ever get unblocked from enwiki, will you still regularly contribute here? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:46, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

:For sure. I plan on it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:13, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

== Issue with your archive page ==

A lot of users used &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{PAGENAME}}&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt; instead &lt;code&gt;koavf&lt;/code&gt; on your Talk Page, so when you archived the page it now says &quot;Hi koavf/archive001&quot; instead of just &quot;Hi koavf.&quot; Could you fix this? (I can't since you protected the page) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:05, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

:Sure, thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:34, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== Rollback vote ==

Could you vote [[Wikiquote:Requests for Rollback/Ilovemydoodle|here]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:51, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:37, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Protection request ==

Could you protect [[User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 1|this page]] so only admins can edit? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:34, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:37, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 1|This page]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:15, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:37, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::Still isn’t done. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:40, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Wait why is the page gone? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:48, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::::It's back. The easiest way to delete dozens of revisions is to delete the entire page and then un-delete the revisions that you want. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:50, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::Ohhhhhhhh. I was really confused why you were deleting the whole page. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:55, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Koavf, could you do a full cleansing of the page? What I mean is removing all vandal revisions to the very beginning (even those already revdeled), and then also removing the reverts of those revisions as well. Could you do this? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:15, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::That should be most of them. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:20, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Could you also remove the undos of vandalism? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:23, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Nothing even displays: https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive_1&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3139360 Is this really necessary? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:25, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::I would like to do it, to reduce clutter and potential for confusion, so, yes. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:32, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::Thank you, Koavf! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:51, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

== Protected edit request ==

Could you change [[Template:Test4]] to redirect to [[Template:Uw-vandalism4]] to match Wikipedia? Also, to make the progression to 4im make more sense. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:34, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:37, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Abuse Filter ==

: ''{{ping|Antandrus}} Could you also give your comment on this?''

Could you add the following terms to the Abuse Filter:

* VKKSTUPID (any capitalization)
* VKKSTUPIDITY (any capitalization)
* AANT (any capitalization)
* AANTANDRUS (any capitalization)
* encyclopediadramatica.online (any capitalization)
* g'p (any capitalization)
* g’p (any capitalization)
* encyclopediadr'matica (any capitalization)
* Antandrus david (any capitalization)
* Ilovemycock (any capitalization)
* Ilovemycok (any capitalization)
* Ethandeath (any capitalization)
* Antdeath (any capitalization)
* ANTANDRUS FUCK BUDDY (any capitalization)
* ANTANDRUS FUKBUDDY (any capitalization)
* FUKBUDDY (any capitalization)
* WP:BOYS (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* Chicago Boys (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* Wikidiot (any capitalization)
* Wikiidiot (any capitalization)
* WMFloser (any capitalization)
* Wikiloser (any capitalization)
* Wikipedo (any capitalization)
* Wikipedoa (any capitalization)
* PAVLOL (any capitalization)
* pause for breath (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* HAHAHA (specified capitalization only)
* ANT COCK (any capitalization)
* GLOBLALY (any capitalization)
* da clock (any capitalization)
* archive.is (any capitalization)
* archive.ph (any capitalization)
* ATTAX (any capitalization)
* REMOVETD (any capitalization)
* JAN PAWEŁ (any capitalization)
* WMF squm (any capitalization)
* 'n' (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* WMFhomopedo (any capitalization)
* as proven! (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* ilovemydoodle = (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* G-R-P (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* GLOBAL BAN EVADER (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* ANT-ANDRUS (any capitalization)
* AANT-ANDRUS (any capitalization)
* ILOVEMYDOODLE LOVES (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* a r c h i v e (any capitalization)
* WMFVOMIT (any capitalization)
* WMFCANCER (any capitalization)
* the fodder (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* THANX (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* THX (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* all is saved (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* forever blocked (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* blocked loser (any capitalization)
* fuckbuddy ant (any capitalization)
* fuckbuddy antandrus (any capitalization)
* antandr's (any capitalization)
* HAHAHAHAHA (specified capitalization only)
* PAUSE FOR BREATH (specified capitalization only)
* O YEA (specified capitalization only)
* o yea (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* yea YEA (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* U CANT SLEEP (any capitalization)
* ANT-STN (any capitalization)
* ency'lopediadram'tica (any capitalization)
* GLOBA LOSER (any capitalization)
* GLOBAL LOSER (any capitalization)
* IN YOUR FACES (specified capitalization only)
* in your faces (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* vvkrejects (any capitalization)
* VVK (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* IN YO FACES (any capitalization)
* vvkhypocrite (any capitalization)
* FOFFER (any capitalization)
* real life stalker (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* REAL LIFE STALKER (specified capitalization only)
* DEFYING LOGIC (specified capitalization only)
* FOR WMF (specified capitalization only)
* globally blocked lta (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* GLOBALLY BLOCKED LTA (specified capitalization only)
* WMF RESPECT (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* wikitruth (any capitalization)
* wmf stands for (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* wmf stand for (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* WMF STANDS FOR (specified capitalization only)
* WMF STAND FOR (specified capitalization only)
* I LOVE MY COCK (any capitalization)
* wmf total (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* WMF TOTAL (specified capitalization only)
* fight u (any capitalization)
* ET AL (specified capitalization only)
* zero brains (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* BL*TANT (any capitalization)
* utm*st (any capitalization)
* UTMOST (specified capitalization only)
* Suckpuppet (any capitalization)
* wikihomopedoia (any capitalization)
* ED loser (any capitalization)
* HAHAHAHAHAHA (specified capitalization only)
* AKA (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* VVKLOSER (any capitalization)
– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:46, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

:I've edited the abuse filter before, but I'm not a whiz at it. Note that blocking edits outright based on some of these filters would certainly disrupt standard editing. I feel like this is probably not the best way to stop vandalism and would want to get more consensus from the community. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:52, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
::How about you block the ones that are obviously vandalism entirely. And the potentially good-faith ones could be allowed only for autoconfirmed. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:17, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I'd still want a broader consensus. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:22, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Also, could you protect [[Wikiquote:Village pump archive 60|this page]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:24, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
:Imagine what GRP would do if when he next logs in Wikiquote using one of his 50 trillion VPNs, and all of his favorite buzzwords get blocked by the Abuse Filter. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:56, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
::Again, please post to the Village Pump to get consensus. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:15, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:44, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

== Quick fix needed ==

Could you please create [[MediaWiki:Dot-separator|this page]]? It's needed for a lot of templates on Wikipedia, so when I import them, they don't work. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:04, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:16, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::Question: how do you import revisions? I regularly import templates from Wikipedia, so it would be nice to be able to import the revisions too. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:39, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::[[Special:Import]], if you are an admin. You are not importing, you're just copying and pasting, which is fine as long as you give attribution in the edit summary or the talk page. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:43, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Is there anyway to import '''without''' being an admin? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:45, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::No, just ask an admin to do it. Again, it's fine to completely reproduce any of the content from any WMF project anywhere, it just requires attribution. The problem with copy/paste &quot;importing&quot; is that it may not import all dependencies. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:49, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Well, I know how to import dependencies, I would just like the ability to import revisions too, as I import hundreds of templates regularly. Also, when copying I often forget to attribute. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:54, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::If you forget, in practice, it's not the biggest deal in the world, but you really should post a note on the talk page saying where it came from and how someone could find attribution at the original source. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:55, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Well, according to [[w:WP:IMPORTS|this]], there is a group for &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt;, just like &lt;code&gt;rollback&lt;/code&gt;. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:59, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Heads up that it's [[:w:en:Help:Import]] or [[:w:en:WP:IMPORT]]. In theory, we can activate importer and transwiki importers here, but we [[Special:ListUsers/import|don't have any]] and I personally can't do it, as it requires a bureaucrat. Generally, import rights outside of being an admin is rare and reserved for weird circumstances (e.g. a user on en.wp who has access to very old server logs and imports edits from 2001 occasionally). —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:04, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Can I make a request? And, if so, where? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:19, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::You can request import at the admin's noticeboard. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:25, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:40, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

Could please revdel these two revisions? (they are both by the same vandal)
* [[Special:Diff/3140786|1]]
* [[Special:Diff/3140787|2]]
– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:08, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:10, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::Second one too? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:12, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I think you forgot the second one. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:10, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Check again. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:06, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Kim_Il-sung&amp;oldid=3140787 Still there] – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:20, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Gotcha. I deleted the edit summary. Thanks: hate speech has no place here except in the context of historically meaningful and educational quotations.o —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:33, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Could you also give feedback to my question on the village pump? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:36, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== Protection request ==

Could you protect [[User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 1|this page]] so only admins can edit? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:11, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} I already did that. Now I've done it twice. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:07, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== Question about the abuse filter ==

Can importing revisions ever trigger the abuse filter? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:19, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:Probably? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:35, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::Which user right (not group) allows you to bypass the abuse filter? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:01, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I don't know anything more than this: [[:mw:Extension:AbuseFilter#User_rights]]. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 15:55, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Who would know more about this? Should I ping Aklapper? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:13, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::Possibly. I think a lot of folks on en.wp would know. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:31, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I already asked a few hours ago on the help desk, still no response. I also asked on meta, also no response. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:33, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I got two answers, here: [[m:Special:Diff/23515465|meta]], [[w:Special:Diff/1097930390|wikipedia]]. So the answer (thankfully) appears to be no. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:52, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

== Importer proposal ==

Could you give me feedback on my importer proposal? (not for/against, just about improving the proposal) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:54, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== &lt;s&gt;Emergency&lt;/s&gt; ==

&lt;s&gt;QOTD missing!&lt;/s&gt; {{done}} by Kalki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:01, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

== Question about my import proposal ==

Some of the permissions I know for sure are needed, for others I am pretty sure, and a few are just guesses. So, do you know who specifically I could ask about this? This would make sure that ones that are not needed can be removed, and that needed ones that are not listed can be added. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:47, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

:I don't have a recommendation on this, no. It's your proposal: you can make it however you want. You just need to be clear and explain your reasoning. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 11:16, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

== &lt;s&gt;QOTD&lt;/s&gt;==

&lt;s&gt;QOTD is missing!&lt;/s&gt; {{done}} by Kalki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:22, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Question about my requests to you that could be asked more generally on VP or AN ==

Are you okay with this, or does it bother you? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:32, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

:If the worst thing that happens to me here is that someone is too enthusiastic, that's a good problem to have. I like your edits and interest in helping out. I just want to make sure that any kind of radical changes get larger community support. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:37, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Contributions/Mr. Dick Pump|These two edits]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:28, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:56, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:contribs/2001:E68:6125:E800:9458:3779:9236:6072|Three edit summaries]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:16, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:57, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:contribs/2603:6010:c600:a8:40c4:fa43:6b2d:63ac|Three revisions]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:00, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

:&lt;small&gt;([[:w:WP:TPS|talk page stalker]])&lt;/small&gt; {{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, {{done}} but only one revision. The others aren't eligible for revdel. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:12, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

== Potential issue with import proposal ==

If the page has already been imported manually and changed since, but the page on the wiki you are importing from has also been changed, then the merge will fail. So is there any kind of right that I could that would let you remove a revision? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:04, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

:Just being an admin. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:02, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::Does the database keep track of if an edit is imported? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:09, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I'm not certain. From what I've seen, it's seamless. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:49, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::::I mean in the backend. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:59, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::I'm not sure. I would think so. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 21:13, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== Online ==

Are you online right now? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:32, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

:I'll have a little availability, but I'm getting sleepy actually--I've been sick lately. :/ —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:02, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== Online ==

Are you still online? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:02, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Diff/3143353|This]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:53, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:51, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

== Bureaucrat ==

I wanted to nominate you for bureaucrat, but I could not think of enough reasons for a full nomination. Could you nominate yourself? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:22, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{not done}} I'm pretty busy now, so picking up extra responsibility seems like a bad idea. :/ —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:51, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::Later? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:52, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Maybe! —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:59, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Diff/3121426|This]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:32, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:38, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

== Hounding ==

I have noticed that a particular new editor here seems to be here only in discussion pages, which is fine in my opinion, but they appear to particularly targeting me (voting against various proposals, listing pages for deletion, etc.), and haven't been doing any mainspsce editing or editing in other discussions, does this count as hounding? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:37, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|AC9016}} Do you agree? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:38, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
:It could be. I haven't seen this behavior yet. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 15:42, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
::[[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|Here]] – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:44, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I have not observed this behavior either. My time on Wikiquote is overwhelmingly spent on creating and editing pages. --[[User:AC9016|AC9016]] ([[User talk:AC9016|talk]]) 15:57, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I see you posted to his talk, so let's see where that goes. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 15:58, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== Strikethrough templates ==

Templates what is your opinion on {{t|Ds}}, {{t|Ts}}, and {{t|Qs}}? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:52, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

:It's not obvious to me why these exist. If you need to semantically mark up that something is deleted or struck, then we have those options, so why do we need to visually have a template that strikes something four times? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:48, 21 July 2022 (UTC)

== Availability ==

When do you think you could help with the js feature requests previously mentioned? Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:04, 21 July 2022 (UTC)

:Which one again? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:11, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
::Not specifically one, several small ones over IRC. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:16, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Oh, not anytime soon. Sorry. :/
:::I have work, school, and travel. I am happy to do continued maintenance on projects where I am an admin (e.g. here), but doing anything ambitious is on an indefinite hold. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:18, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Not that big, only small to medium additions. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:22, 21 July 2022 (UTC)

== AN Archives ==

Hello. I noticed that you sysop-protected [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard/Archive/037]] but this is blocking [[Special:Contribs/MABot|my bot]] from archiving the [[WQ:AN]] as requested. Would you prefer if I start archiving in [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard/Archive/038]] instead? If this is due to vandalism, an AbuseFilter could be created to avoid subpages of the AN to be editted by anyone but sysops and bots. Regards, --[[User:MarcoAurelio|MarcoAurelio]] ([[User talk:MarcoAurelio|talk]]) 11:10, 28 July 2022 (UTC)

:Maybe your bot can just be an admin? I'm not a bureaucrat, so I can't do it unilaterally, but you're a trusted user, so I don't see that as being a problem. I'll unprotect for now. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:30, 28 July 2022 (UTC)
::Thank you. I appreciate your words, but I do not think my bot should have +sysop as it is very dangerous. Bots can, however, edit pages protected up to the autoconfirmed level so if vandalism on that page is an issue you may reprotect it to the &quot;edit: autoconfirmed&quot; level and my bot won't have troubles with bypassing that restriction. Regards, --[[User:MarcoAurelio|MarcoAurelio]] ([[User talk:MarcoAurelio|talk]]) 10:45, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

== Hello ==

I would like to inform you that I have returned here after three weeks.

I mainly left due to the large-scale deletion of my templates and modules, most of which was unjustified. I would like to have these undeleted so the issues with templates can be properly addressed, rather than just deleting them. I would like to start by having these templates undeleted:
* [[Template:T]]
* [[Template:Blockedreason]]
* [[Template:Removed]] (and [[Template:Vote removed]])
Do you think you help with this? And, if so, could you add some-sort-of messaging saying that it is currently being worked-on and should ''not'' be immediately re-VfD'd? Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:44, 11 August 2022 (UTC)

:Welcome. I would recommend starting with the admins who deleted them and see if they think for some reason there was an error or something was deleted out of process. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:50, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
::I am not saying that is out of error, I just think that I can ''easily'' fix the issues that were given as the reason for deletion. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:52, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
:::Also, you would need to undelete the associated sub-pages. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:53, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
:::Sure, well I would still start with the deleting admin. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:55, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
::::{{done}} added a link to this discussion. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:58, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Wait... the deleting admin only deleted it because of a VfD, so if I am able to address the problems raised in the VfD, couldn't it just be undelete without needless bureaucracy? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:17, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
* All I did was close the discussions. In nearly every one, the consensus to delete was unanimous. I would recommend you take some time to consider working on tasks that do not require the creation of large amounts of templates and subpages, give that this wasn't a one-off issue, but one where there were scores of pages that needed to be deleted. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 20:35, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
*:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}} My reason for creating these was not just randomly make bad templates, instead I was trying to implement a much larger idea for Wikiquote, but since it would be such a large change and would require large changes to backend things like php and js, I instead only implemented a very small amount of it. But, since I only implemented small amounts of what actually wanted to do '''without context''', I instead made something that doesn't have any propose or value. So, instead, I would like to make a local 'test wiki' where I can work on larger things like this that can later be implemented properly on the main wiki.
*:Do you think you could help by sending an xml file of the deleted pages? Thanks, – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:31, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
*::I nominated the templates for deletion (and there was unanimous consensus to delete them) because they were fundamentally crap templates. The fact the implementation was terrible was only a small part of the problem, the big issue is that the ''ideas'' behind them were awful. No amount of JavaScript or PHP would have turned those pages into useful templates.
*::You have tried to reinvent processes for no good reason (often in really stupid ways involving obnoxious amounts of pings), you have made pointless duplicate templates that recreate functionality that already exists, and have created templates that should not be used under any situation because they violate fundamental project policies and fly in the face of wiki culture.
*::Of those three templates the first one duplicates a template we already have, the second was another duplicate template but with some really really terrible modifications, and the third was a horrendously bad idea for a template that should never ''ever'' be used under any situation.
*::I would oppose restoring these as the community has made it clear they don't want them. Banning people from nominating them for deletion after a unanimous consensus to delete is also a grossly inappropriate suggestion. The only admin action that I could see being remotely appropriate here is blocking you from template and module space. You clearly do not have the [[W:WP:CIR|competence]] to edit there productively and have made a ridiculous amount of mess treating this project as your personal sandbox that is going to take months and months to clean up. I haven't edited in a week due to real life work, but there is still a vast amount of localisation, clean-up and deletion nominations to be done. Fundamentally as a newbie who has only been here for a couple of months you should not be attempting to &quot;implement a much larger idea for Wikiquote&quot; and completely remake the project according to how you think it should be - that isn't how consensus or wiki communities work. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:02, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
*:::Forgive me, but, is it not &quot;cleaned up&quot; already? All of templates and modules appear to of been deleted. Also, I was not requesting they all be restored. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:49, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
*::::No, it's nowhere near finished. [[Special:WantedCategories]] is still full of clean-up categories that need renaming, merging, and actually creating. There are still a ton of modules and templates that you've copied from other projects without bothering to set them up properly, e.g. [[Module:Pagetype/config]], which still has a load of wikipedia only configurations in it. There are a bunch of unused templates that don't actually make a lot of sense on this project, [[Template:Disputed inline]] doesn't make a great deal of sense when applied to quotations. There are a bunch of templates that I cannot forsee anyone ever using, e.g. [[Template:Background color]] which is used to applying formatting that should never actually be used in pages, &lt;span style=&quot;background-color: orange&quot;&gt;Like this&lt;/span&gt;. And that's before we even get into looking at all the templates that you overwrote with wikipedia specific ones or messed around with for no good reason. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 08:56, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
*:::Please don’t, I have stopped the template creation and will only return to it when I know what I'm doing. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:41, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Don't get discouraged brother or sister. Figure it out. Lord knows I'm lucky to understand how email works some of the time. But do it on a test wiki. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 02:44, 13 August 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Ilovemydoodle&amp;type=revision&amp;diff=3146038&amp;oldid=3145984&amp;diffmode=source This]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:37, 20 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, while it is an inappropriate comment, I don't think it is eligible for RevDel. It is just a &quot;normal&quot; personal attack. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 11:24, 20 August 2022 (UTC)
::I'm a fan of [[:w:en:WP:DENY]] and happy to revdel things that don't even try to add to this site. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:31, 20 August 2022 (UTC)
:::[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Sandbox&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3146034&amp;diffmode=source This] should probably be removed as well. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:50, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
:::Wouldn't say that spending time going back to a month old edit no-one else will be looking at is a way of denying recognition to vandals. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:03, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Okay, if you want to leave this kind of trash in the edit history, you can. As I come across abusive edits like this, I remove them. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:04, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::It's not great to be in the edit history, but we are hiding these kinds of edits from public view. Would you say that the edit revision, as well as the edit summary, is bad enough that it should be hidden from other editors? Particularly with this edit - what is the worst that would happen if it was just left alone? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:09, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::Yes and probably nothing other than giving a troll what he wants. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:12, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Ferien}} Shouldn’t all personal attacks be revdeled? I thought &quot;special&quot; personal attacks are meant to be oversighted. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:52, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
:::{{re|Ilovemydoodle}} No absolutely not. There is no RevDel policy here, and we should definitely get one some point soon, but RevDel is generally only used for grossly inappropriate content. Both of these revisions certainly wouldn't be eligible for revision deletion at all on any other wiki I'm active on, especially not on English Wikipedia. And oversight can only be used for &quot;a blatant attack is one obviously intended to denigrate, threaten, libel, insult, or harass someone.&quot; --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:00, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
::::I think revdel should be used on any edit harmful bad-faith edit. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:38, 22 August 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Contributions/Deadlybreeze|These]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:54, 22 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:02, 22 August 2022 (UTC)
::Also, is [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikimedia_Forum&amp;oldid=23694862#Question_about_dumps_(this_is_actually_needed,_not_just_a_stupid/pointless_question) this] possible? (without dev access) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:10, 22 August 2022 (UTC)
::[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Ilovemydoodle&amp;type=revision&amp;diff=3148586&amp;oldid=3147432&amp;diffmode=source This too]! Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:13, 22 August 2022 (UTC)

== Block request ==

Could you softblock {{u|Ilovemycock}}? (I created it to prevent abuse) Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 10:04, 25 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} by {{u|Ferien}}. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 10:24, 25 August 2022 (UTC)

== Abuse filter ==

Could you import [[test2wiki:Special:AbuseFilter/29|this]] filter onto this wiki? Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:46, 26 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} This is pretty extensive as a filter. I'll have to keep my eyes on it and what kind of hits it gets. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:42, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::Did I do a good job? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:06, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::I think, but we'll find out by trying it. Such is life, I suppose. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:12, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Is there any way to make the filter block a user if they trigger it too much? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:13, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::As I recall, yes, but I'm not an abuse filter whiz. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:20, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::Who would know how to do that? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:21, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I don't even know where to start. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:28, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|Cabayi}} Do you know? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:40, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, it is not the best idea to ping users who are not active on this wiki to something they have not been involved in. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:47, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} I was trying to find a knowledgeable user. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:02, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{re|Ilovemydoodle}} then please head to AN or the Village pump. I have a little bit of experience with abuse filters and how to add to them, although I don't promise to be an abuse filter genius. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:09, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::Thanks, but you should probably remove the 'test' in the name of the filter. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:08, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:Could you give me the abuse helper right so I can check on the filter? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:22, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::I think this would need discussion and consensus first. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:24, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::It doesn’t allow you to edit it, just view it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:50, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Still needs consensus and doesn't exist here.--[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:56, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:Don't want to talk about the contents of the abuse filter too much onwiki but I imagine this could be merged into abuse filter 33. It has the same purpose. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:45, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Ferien}} Mine includes both GRP ''and'' Wikinger, while filter 33 only includes GRP. Maybe 33 could be merged into mine? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:52, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, they are essentially the same vandal. In fact, 34 doesn't really apply to Wikinger at all. It doesn't really matter which one it's merged into but an extensive amount of time has been spent on filter 33 to make it suitable for enwikiquote and their behaviour here. I was just checking and pretty much everything included in filter 34 is in 33 and more. But as I said I don't want to spend much time talking about the filter itself. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:54, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Ferien}} Could you copy it to test2wiki so I could view it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:28, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{u|Koavf}}, Could you do this? (I would like to compare it to my version) Thanks! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:24, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{re|Ilovemydoodle}} I am not sure why you are so concerned about this. Filter 33 is working very well and has significantly decreased the amount of disruption this vandal can cause, there is no need for additional filters or for the filter to be shown to you. It is hidden for a reason. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 10:40, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I would like it copied so I can compare it to my filter. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:08, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{re|Ilovemydoodle}} But why do you need to compare it to filter 33 when I already have done so? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:14, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} Because I would like to see it for myself. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:56, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
:I updated it, could you re-copy it? Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:27, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::{{not done}}. Importing doesn't work. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:04, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
:::Delete it and then re-import it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:10, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Okay, I can try. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:07, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{Tl|Done}}? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:44, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:12, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Permalink/3130363|This]] Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:27, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{not done}} Why would this be deleted? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:08, 27 August 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>58dbtnclhpoxpgrbbye7l0py1l62m4x</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158701</id>
      <parentid>3158691</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T22:45:26Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Ilovemydoodle</username>
        <id>3120156</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Protection request */ new section</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="94712" xml:space="preserve">{{User talk:Koavf/Template:Archive}}
&lt;!-- Please leave comments below this line. --&gt;

== Template:Username ==

Could you please make [[Template:Username]] show the User’s name? I need it for several Templates. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:19, 12 June 2022 (UTC)

:What do you have in mind? Does {{tl|Ping}} not work? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:53, 12 June 2022 (UTC)
::I mean the user viewing it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:56, 12 June 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|Kalki}} [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:12, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}}
::::I have no idea what you need. What would the template do? How would you use it? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:42, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::A template that displays the username or IP address of the user viewing it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:49, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::Do you have an example on another wiki that does this? I recalled that there was a magic word for this, but I can't seem to find it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:45, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::No, but this is still a very useful *potential* feature. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:45, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

== Request to add Editnotice ==

Could you add [[User:Ilovemydoodle/FakeBlockMessage|this]] Editnotice to my User and User Talk pages? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:38, 15 June 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} Are you sure you want that message? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:39, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::Yes. Thank you, you are the best admin. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:52, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::Also, it isn't showing up, could you fix this?

::Edit: I think you need to create the page [[Mediawiki:Editnotice-2-Ilovemydoodle|here]] (and [[Mediawiki:Editnotice-3-Ilovemydoodle|here]] for the Talk Page) for it to actually work. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:54, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::That doesn't seem to have done the trick. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:02, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Maybe try some test text instead? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:04, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::I can. Seems like your hack should work, per [[mw:Manual:Interface/Edit notice]], tho. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:05, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::Maybe file a phab report? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:07, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I fixed it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:12, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Could you also protect the page so only I and Administrators can edit it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:50, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::No, there's no way to do that, other than by manually blocking that one page from every user who isn't an admin or you. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:53, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:
{| style=&quot;border: 1px solid gray; background-color: #fdffe7;&quot;
|rowspan=&quot;2&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align:middle;&quot; | [[File:SpecialBarnstar.png|100px]]
|rowspan=&quot;2&quot; |
|style=&quot;font-size: x-large; padding: 0; vertical-align: middle; height: 1.1em;&quot; | '''The Special Barnstar'''
|-
|style=&quot;vertical-align: middle; border-top: 1px solid gray;&quot; | For actually doing this, I think most other Administrators take themselves to far too seriously to do something like this.
|} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:29, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

:Thanks kindly. I'm here to serve. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:35, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

== Merge fork ==

Could you merge my fork of [[Joe Biden]] into the main page (revisions included)? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:59, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

:Probably, but you have to meet me half-way here and link to said fork. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:03, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::[[User:Ilovemydoodle/forks/Main/Joe Biden]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:05, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::&quot;No revisions can be merged.&quot; —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:09, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Why? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:16, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::¯\_(ツ)_/¯ —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:17, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::Try now. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:19, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::&quot;No revisions can be merged.&quot; —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:35, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Maybe try importing them instead? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:37, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::How? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:37, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Okay I figured it, this might sound strange, but it should work, merge [[Joe Biden]] into my fork, delete the original [[Joe Biden]] page and then move my fork to [[Joe Biden]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:49, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::&quot;Source revisions overlap or come after destination revisions.&quot; You should just edit the main article. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:00, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:04, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::Also, do you have any work for me to do on Wikiquote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha, Not an Administrator) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:05, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::Wow, great question. I think the best thing that can happen here is if someone helps to bring more [[m:Structured Wikiquote|structure and semantics to Wikiquote]]. On a structural level, that is beyond any one person fixing, but anyone can add templates, metadata, etc. E.g. if you cite a source, include a citation template or use proper list semantics, such as not putting line breaks between bullets in a list. That and adding accessibility features like [[:w:en:WP:ALT|alt text]] are important issues to me. Thanks for asking and for all you do around here. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:50, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::I have been doing some of these things for while now, I will continue to do so also doing the other things you mentioned, but I was mainly looking for one or two shorter tasks to do now. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:10, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::Hi {{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, in terms of work to do on Wikiquote:
*[[:Category:Wikiquote no intro]] need intros
*[[:Category:Video games]]' contents needs sorting into categories by year
*[[:Category:Wikiquote cleanup]] has hundreds of articles needing cleanup
*[[Flooding]] could potentially be an article rather than redirect, not 100 percent sure though, depends on quotability.
*There are many entire countries with no article yet. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 16:46, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::Also thank you again Koavf for the admin/maintenance work. I hope we get to see you back at enwiki eventually. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 19:21, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:::Thanks, RC! —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:46, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
::No worries. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 19:51, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

== Feature ==

Help, I really needed a feature added that lets a Template tell which skin your using. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:58, 19 June 2022 (UTC)

:Wow, I have no idea how to do that. You want to be a thrid party that knows which skin someone is using? I'm not sure that is an option. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:09, 19 June 2022 (UTC)
::I really need it, apparently the background of my talk page break certain features, but only on one skin, and after fixing now it only works on that skin and doesn't work on others, so I really need this fixed, maybe something using css files? 

::Edit: I figured it out, just add some css to the css file for each skin:

::* [[Mediawiki:vector.css]]
::* [[Mediawiki:vector-2022.css]]
::* [[Mediawiki:minerva.css]]
::* [[Mediawiki:monobook.css]]
::* [[Mediawiki:timeless.css]]

::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:55, 19 June 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:23, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
::::I'm confused why you're pinging me. You just wrote, &quot;I figured it out&quot;, so I thought there was no action for me here. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:35, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::No, I meant that I figured out how YOU can fix it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:52, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::What do you want me to insert in the CSS files? I'm reluctant to do this as it will modify the site for all users, but I'm not entirely opposed. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:03, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Just make it you have something that only appears when that skin is active.

:::::::Edit: You can do this by making something invisible in common.css and then setting it visible in the skin’s css file. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:05, 20 June 2022 (UTC)

== Feature request ==

Could you make a very useful JavaScript hack for me? Ping me when your ready and I'll give you more information. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:21, 23 June 2022 (UTC)

:I'm putting something on my calendar for next weekend--I'm busy this weekend. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:42, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
::Could you please do the other request above, though? (I really need it for something) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:44, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
:::All of them exist except one. I'll add a comment to it and then I suppose that resolves it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:53, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
::::No I mean in each file could you put:
::::&lt;code&gt;span.show-[skin name here] {display: initial;}&lt;/code&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;code&gt;span.hide-[skin name here] {display: none;}&lt;/code&gt;
::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:00, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::No, I'm not sure what that will do. I'm trying to think of how that would appear in CSS and that seems like it would not display the user preferences. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 21:01, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::Well, you just add this code to common.css for each skin:
::::::&lt;code&gt;span.show-[skin name here] {display: none;}&lt;/code&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;code&gt;span.hide-[skin name here] {display: initial;}&lt;/code&gt;
::::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:03, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I'm reluctant to do that becuase of the concerns above. Do you have an example wiki where someone did this? I don't want to tinker with site-wide CSS without a really good reason. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 21:04, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Well, I can't think of any other wiki, but this IS quite important. On my user page I implemented a feature that perfectly well for me, but another user informed me that it didn't work in one skin, so I made one for that skin, but it only worked in that skin, so I need some code to differentiate between skins. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:10, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Could please give me more information about this? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:08, 25 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::If I edit site-wide CSS, that will impact all users with a given skin. So I want to be very conservative about doing that and I don't want to even experiment, lest I mess up someone's view of the site. If you have examples of other wikis doing this or can justify why you need it done with some clarity, then maybe I can help you. Better yet woudl be community consensus. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:15, 25 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::Basically, I want a feature where I can create a span with the class &quot;[Skin Name Here]-show&quot; and it will only show it for users viewing in that skin, there would also be a &quot;[Skin Name Here]-hide&quot; which would do the reverse. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:24, 25 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::And I need to have a greater justification than just your personal preference before I tinker with site-wide CSS. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:44, 25 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::A lot of Templates need different code for each skin to display properly. Also, I don't see any harm in adding this. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:46, 25 June 2022 (UTC)

== Response time ==

Is there anyway to have a discussion in real-time? I would like to have several long discussions about feature requests, but that's not really doable if it takes days between each comment. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:23, 26 June 2022 (UTC)

:I have really only used Gchat (or whatever it's called now) for IMing, but sure. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:31, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::What is Gchat? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:32, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::Google's IMing, associated with Gmail. Again, it's been called a million things. Hangouts now? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:33, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Any WMF way of live chat? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:33, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::I think Matrix: [[m:matrix]]. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:38, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::I keep hearing about &quot;libera chat&quot;, is it what I want? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:40, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Correct. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:29, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::So, could you explain what it is and how to do what I am requesting with it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:31, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::I've never used it. I just know that it's the replacement for IRC (which I very rarely used). —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:47, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::What’s IRC again? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:52, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{w|Internet Relay Chat}}, which was more-or-less popular as a group chat option for decades and the best server for it, {{w|Freenode}} was bought by a jerk, so everyone jumped ship to Libera. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:06, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::How does libera work? Would it be good for what I want? And, do you have an account there? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:08, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::It's a good chat service, as I understand it and would meet your needs. I've never used it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:13, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::Can you create an account? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:48, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::Sure, if that's the method you want to use. I'm here to help. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:00, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::::What is the name of your account? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:05, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::::@koavf:matrix.org —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:05, 27 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::::::{{ping|koavf}} I mean on libera. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:38, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::::::Gotcha. I haven't made one yet. I can when I'm free-er. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 12:52, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::::::::When will that be? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:53, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::::::::I have a calendar reminder for the following weekend (i.e. not in a few days but a week and a half). —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 12:58, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::::::::::I am wondering if we can do it today instead? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:07, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::::::::::I cannot. I have a busy-ish day and a very busy day tomorrow. To the extent that I can screw around on the Internet, it has to be pretty limited. I'm happy to meet at a time that's mutually convenient, of course. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 13:10, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
{{Outdent|::::::::::}}Thank you! When your ready I have a lot to discuss. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:17, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
:Also, when your ready, could you leave a message saying so on my Talk Page? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:03, 4 July 2022 (UTC)
::Can do. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:11, 4 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Can you just send me a calendar invite if you need to chat? I'm afraid that it's hard for me to make the time. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:03, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::I am not sure how to do that, do you mean like mentally, or on Wikiquote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:54, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::Sorry, I meant to my email address: justinkoavf[littleanarchysymbol][google's email service][period]com. If you can't do that or don't want to share your email address with me, then please let me know. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:14, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I have had my email address removed a long time ago due to abuse, so I can't use my email. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:18, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::You can't email me directly? That's fine. When would you like to chat? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:35, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::When ever you’re ready to implement a lot of stuff. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:38, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Also, which Template de-indents a discussion? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:58, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{tl|outdent}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:04, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Do you have any set date that you would be willing to help implement (or at-least begin the implementation of) a lot of features? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:28, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Unfortunately, I'm busy with work and personal things in July, so I've had a hard time setting a time. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:34, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Also, why did you obfuscate your email address? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:24, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::What is &quot;[littleanarchysymbol]&quot;? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:12, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Obfuscated for bots. [littleanarchysymbol] = &quot;@&quot;. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:34, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::I’m confused, what do you mean obfuscated for bots? Also, if it's obfuscated how I am meant to read it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:49, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::So that a bot couldn't harvest it and spam me. You may be able to read it because you can decode things that a bot can't. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:48, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Oh. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:03, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== Bug fix ==

In [[Special:ListUsers]] &quot;Administrator&quot; is capitalized, on all other wikis (including Wikipedia) it is lower case. Could you please fix this? You could do this by either making it lower case, or by capitalizing all User Rights. (the second option is the one I prefer) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:28, 26 June 2022 (UTC)

:But all of them are upper case now, so at least that's consistent. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:31, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::Oh wait, I see. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:32, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:I think fixing it would require recreating [[MediaWiki:Administrators]] and making it lower-case, but I'm not sure of all the places where it would be changed. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:34, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::I don't see the problem with doing that. Also, if you prefer it capitalized, you could just capitalize all User Groups. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:36, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::Because it may be transcluded other places where it shouldn't be capitalized. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:37, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Well, it's just fine on en.wp. Also, which option do you prefer? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:39, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::I have no strong feelings on this and while I am actually usually very in favor of consistency and proper usage, this one doesn't bother me much. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:29, 26 June 2022 (UTC)

== A question for you ==

If you ever get unblocked from enwiki, will you still regularly contribute here? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:46, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

:For sure. I plan on it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:13, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

== Issue with your archive page ==

A lot of users used &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{PAGENAME}}&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt; instead &lt;code&gt;koavf&lt;/code&gt; on your Talk Page, so when you archived the page it now says &quot;Hi koavf/archive001&quot; instead of just &quot;Hi koavf.&quot; Could you fix this? (I can't since you protected the page) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:05, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

:Sure, thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:34, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== Rollback vote ==

Could you vote [[Wikiquote:Requests for Rollback/Ilovemydoodle|here]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:51, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:37, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Protection request ==

Could you protect [[User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 1|this page]] so only admins can edit? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:34, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:37, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 1|This page]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:15, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:37, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::Still isn’t done. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:40, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Wait why is the page gone? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:48, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::::It's back. The easiest way to delete dozens of revisions is to delete the entire page and then un-delete the revisions that you want. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:50, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::Ohhhhhhhh. I was really confused why you were deleting the whole page. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:55, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Koavf, could you do a full cleansing of the page? What I mean is removing all vandal revisions to the very beginning (even those already revdeled), and then also removing the reverts of those revisions as well. Could you do this? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:15, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::That should be most of them. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:20, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Could you also remove the undos of vandalism? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:23, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Nothing even displays: https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive_1&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3139360 Is this really necessary? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:25, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::I would like to do it, to reduce clutter and potential for confusion, so, yes. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:32, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::Thank you, Koavf! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:51, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

== Protected edit request ==

Could you change [[Template:Test4]] to redirect to [[Template:Uw-vandalism4]] to match Wikipedia? Also, to make the progression to 4im make more sense. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:34, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:37, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Abuse Filter ==

: ''{{ping|Antandrus}} Could you also give your comment on this?''

Could you add the following terms to the Abuse Filter:

* VKKSTUPID (any capitalization)
* VKKSTUPIDITY (any capitalization)
* AANT (any capitalization)
* AANTANDRUS (any capitalization)
* encyclopediadramatica.online (any capitalization)
* g'p (any capitalization)
* g’p (any capitalization)
* encyclopediadr'matica (any capitalization)
* Antandrus david (any capitalization)
* Ilovemycock (any capitalization)
* Ilovemycok (any capitalization)
* Ethandeath (any capitalization)
* Antdeath (any capitalization)
* ANTANDRUS FUCK BUDDY (any capitalization)
* ANTANDRUS FUKBUDDY (any capitalization)
* FUKBUDDY (any capitalization)
* WP:BOYS (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* Chicago Boys (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* Wikidiot (any capitalization)
* Wikiidiot (any capitalization)
* WMFloser (any capitalization)
* Wikiloser (any capitalization)
* Wikipedo (any capitalization)
* Wikipedoa (any capitalization)
* PAVLOL (any capitalization)
* pause for breath (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* HAHAHA (specified capitalization only)
* ANT COCK (any capitalization)
* GLOBLALY (any capitalization)
* da clock (any capitalization)
* archive.is (any capitalization)
* archive.ph (any capitalization)
* ATTAX (any capitalization)
* REMOVETD (any capitalization)
* JAN PAWEŁ (any capitalization)
* WMF squm (any capitalization)
* 'n' (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* WMFhomopedo (any capitalization)
* as proven! (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* ilovemydoodle = (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* G-R-P (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* GLOBAL BAN EVADER (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* ANT-ANDRUS (any capitalization)
* AANT-ANDRUS (any capitalization)
* ILOVEMYDOODLE LOVES (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* a r c h i v e (any capitalization)
* WMFVOMIT (any capitalization)
* WMFCANCER (any capitalization)
* the fodder (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* THANX (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* THX (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* all is saved (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* forever blocked (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* blocked loser (any capitalization)
* fuckbuddy ant (any capitalization)
* fuckbuddy antandrus (any capitalization)
* antandr's (any capitalization)
* HAHAHAHAHA (specified capitalization only)
* PAUSE FOR BREATH (specified capitalization only)
* O YEA (specified capitalization only)
* o yea (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* yea YEA (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* U CANT SLEEP (any capitalization)
* ANT-STN (any capitalization)
* ency'lopediadram'tica (any capitalization)
* GLOBA LOSER (any capitalization)
* GLOBAL LOSER (any capitalization)
* IN YOUR FACES (specified capitalization only)
* in your faces (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* vvkrejects (any capitalization)
* VVK (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* IN YO FACES (any capitalization)
* vvkhypocrite (any capitalization)
* FOFFER (any capitalization)
* real life stalker (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* REAL LIFE STALKER (specified capitalization only)
* DEFYING LOGIC (specified capitalization only)
* FOR WMF (specified capitalization only)
* globally blocked lta (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* GLOBALLY BLOCKED LTA (specified capitalization only)
* WMF RESPECT (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* wikitruth (any capitalization)
* wmf stands for (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* wmf stand for (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* WMF STANDS FOR (specified capitalization only)
* WMF STAND FOR (specified capitalization only)
* I LOVE MY COCK (any capitalization)
* wmf total (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* WMF TOTAL (specified capitalization only)
* fight u (any capitalization)
* ET AL (specified capitalization only)
* zero brains (any capitalization, autoconfirmed+ only)
* BL*TANT (any capitalization)
* utm*st (any capitalization)
* UTMOST (specified capitalization only)
* Suckpuppet (any capitalization)
* wikihomopedoia (any capitalization)
* ED loser (any capitalization)
* HAHAHAHAHAHA (specified capitalization only)
* AKA (specified capitalization only, autoconfirmed+ only)
* VVKLOSER (any capitalization)
– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:46, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

:I've edited the abuse filter before, but I'm not a whiz at it. Note that blocking edits outright based on some of these filters would certainly disrupt standard editing. I feel like this is probably not the best way to stop vandalism and would want to get more consensus from the community. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:52, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
::How about you block the ones that are obviously vandalism entirely. And the potentially good-faith ones could be allowed only for autoconfirmed. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:17, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I'd still want a broader consensus. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:22, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Also, could you protect [[Wikiquote:Village pump archive 60|this page]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:24, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
:Imagine what GRP would do if when he next logs in Wikiquote using one of his 50 trillion VPNs, and all of his favorite buzzwords get blocked by the Abuse Filter. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:56, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
::Again, please post to the Village Pump to get consensus. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:15, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:44, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

== Quick fix needed ==

Could you please create [[MediaWiki:Dot-separator|this page]]? It's needed for a lot of templates on Wikipedia, so when I import them, they don't work. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:04, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:16, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::Question: how do you import revisions? I regularly import templates from Wikipedia, so it would be nice to be able to import the revisions too. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:39, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::[[Special:Import]], if you are an admin. You are not importing, you're just copying and pasting, which is fine as long as you give attribution in the edit summary or the talk page. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:43, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Is there anyway to import '''without''' being an admin? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:45, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::No, just ask an admin to do it. Again, it's fine to completely reproduce any of the content from any WMF project anywhere, it just requires attribution. The problem with copy/paste &quot;importing&quot; is that it may not import all dependencies. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:49, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Well, I know how to import dependencies, I would just like the ability to import revisions too, as I import hundreds of templates regularly. Also, when copying I often forget to attribute. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:54, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::If you forget, in practice, it's not the biggest deal in the world, but you really should post a note on the talk page saying where it came from and how someone could find attribution at the original source. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:55, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Well, according to [[w:WP:IMPORTS|this]], there is a group for &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt;, just like &lt;code&gt;rollback&lt;/code&gt;. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:59, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Heads up that it's [[:w:en:Help:Import]] or [[:w:en:WP:IMPORT]]. In theory, we can activate importer and transwiki importers here, but we [[Special:ListUsers/import|don't have any]] and I personally can't do it, as it requires a bureaucrat. Generally, import rights outside of being an admin is rare and reserved for weird circumstances (e.g. a user on en.wp who has access to very old server logs and imports edits from 2001 occasionally). —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:04, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Can I make a request? And, if so, where? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:19, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::You can request import at the admin's noticeboard. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:25, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:40, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

Could please revdel these two revisions? (they are both by the same vandal)
* [[Special:Diff/3140786|1]]
* [[Special:Diff/3140787|2]]
– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:08, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:10, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::Second one too? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:12, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I think you forgot the second one. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:10, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Check again. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:06, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Kim_Il-sung&amp;oldid=3140787 Still there] – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:20, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Gotcha. I deleted the edit summary. Thanks: hate speech has no place here except in the context of historically meaningful and educational quotations.o —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:33, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Could you also give feedback to my question on the village pump? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:36, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== Protection request ==

Could you protect [[User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 1|this page]] so only admins can edit? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:11, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} I already did that. Now I've done it twice. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:07, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== Question about the abuse filter ==

Can importing revisions ever trigger the abuse filter? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:19, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:Probably? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:35, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::Which user right (not group) allows you to bypass the abuse filter? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:01, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I don't know anything more than this: [[:mw:Extension:AbuseFilter#User_rights]]. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 15:55, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Who would know more about this? Should I ping Aklapper? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:13, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::Possibly. I think a lot of folks on en.wp would know. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:31, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I already asked a few hours ago on the help desk, still no response. I also asked on meta, also no response. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:33, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I got two answers, here: [[m:Special:Diff/23515465|meta]], [[w:Special:Diff/1097930390|wikipedia]]. So the answer (thankfully) appears to be no. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:52, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

== Importer proposal ==

Could you give me feedback on my importer proposal? (not for/against, just about improving the proposal) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:54, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== &lt;s&gt;Emergency&lt;/s&gt; ==

&lt;s&gt;QOTD missing!&lt;/s&gt; {{done}} by Kalki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:01, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

== Question about my import proposal ==

Some of the permissions I know for sure are needed, for others I am pretty sure, and a few are just guesses. So, do you know who specifically I could ask about this? This would make sure that ones that are not needed can be removed, and that needed ones that are not listed can be added. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:47, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

:I don't have a recommendation on this, no. It's your proposal: you can make it however you want. You just need to be clear and explain your reasoning. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 11:16, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

== &lt;s&gt;QOTD&lt;/s&gt;==

&lt;s&gt;QOTD is missing!&lt;/s&gt; {{done}} by Kalki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:22, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Question about my requests to you that could be asked more generally on VP or AN ==

Are you okay with this, or does it bother you? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:32, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

:If the worst thing that happens to me here is that someone is too enthusiastic, that's a good problem to have. I like your edits and interest in helping out. I just want to make sure that any kind of radical changes get larger community support. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:37, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Contributions/Mr. Dick Pump|These two edits]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:28, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:56, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:contribs/2001:E68:6125:E800:9458:3779:9236:6072|Three edit summaries]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:16, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:57, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:contribs/2603:6010:c600:a8:40c4:fa43:6b2d:63ac|Three revisions]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:00, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

:&lt;small&gt;([[:w:WP:TPS|talk page stalker]])&lt;/small&gt; {{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, {{done}} but only one revision. The others aren't eligible for revdel. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:12, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

== Potential issue with import proposal ==

If the page has already been imported manually and changed since, but the page on the wiki you are importing from has also been changed, then the merge will fail. So is there any kind of right that I could that would let you remove a revision? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:04, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

:Just being an admin. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:02, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::Does the database keep track of if an edit is imported? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:09, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I'm not certain. From what I've seen, it's seamless. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:49, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::::I mean in the backend. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:59, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::I'm not sure. I would think so. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 21:13, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== Online ==

Are you online right now? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:32, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

:I'll have a little availability, but I'm getting sleepy actually--I've been sick lately. :/ —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:02, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== Online ==

Are you still online? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:02, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Diff/3143353|This]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:53, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:51, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

== Bureaucrat ==

I wanted to nominate you for bureaucrat, but I could not think of enough reasons for a full nomination. Could you nominate yourself? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:22, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{not done}} I'm pretty busy now, so picking up extra responsibility seems like a bad idea. :/ —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:51, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::Later? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:52, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Maybe! —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:59, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Diff/3121426|This]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:32, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:38, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

== Hounding ==

I have noticed that a particular new editor here seems to be here only in discussion pages, which is fine in my opinion, but they appear to particularly targeting me (voting against various proposals, listing pages for deletion, etc.), and haven't been doing any mainspsce editing or editing in other discussions, does this count as hounding? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:37, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|AC9016}} Do you agree? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:38, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
:It could be. I haven't seen this behavior yet. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 15:42, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
::[[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|Here]] – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:44, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I have not observed this behavior either. My time on Wikiquote is overwhelmingly spent on creating and editing pages. --[[User:AC9016|AC9016]] ([[User talk:AC9016|talk]]) 15:57, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I see you posted to his talk, so let's see where that goes. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 15:58, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== Strikethrough templates ==

Templates what is your opinion on {{t|Ds}}, {{t|Ts}}, and {{t|Qs}}? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:52, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

:It's not obvious to me why these exist. If you need to semantically mark up that something is deleted or struck, then we have those options, so why do we need to visually have a template that strikes something four times? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:48, 21 July 2022 (UTC)

== Availability ==

When do you think you could help with the js feature requests previously mentioned? Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:04, 21 July 2022 (UTC)

:Which one again? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:11, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
::Not specifically one, several small ones over IRC. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:16, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Oh, not anytime soon. Sorry. :/
:::I have work, school, and travel. I am happy to do continued maintenance on projects where I am an admin (e.g. here), but doing anything ambitious is on an indefinite hold. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:18, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Not that big, only small to medium additions. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:22, 21 July 2022 (UTC)

== AN Archives ==

Hello. I noticed that you sysop-protected [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard/Archive/037]] but this is blocking [[Special:Contribs/MABot|my bot]] from archiving the [[WQ:AN]] as requested. Would you prefer if I start archiving in [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard/Archive/038]] instead? If this is due to vandalism, an AbuseFilter could be created to avoid subpages of the AN to be editted by anyone but sysops and bots. Regards, --[[User:MarcoAurelio|MarcoAurelio]] ([[User talk:MarcoAurelio|talk]]) 11:10, 28 July 2022 (UTC)

:Maybe your bot can just be an admin? I'm not a bureaucrat, so I can't do it unilaterally, but you're a trusted user, so I don't see that as being a problem. I'll unprotect for now. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:30, 28 July 2022 (UTC)
::Thank you. I appreciate your words, but I do not think my bot should have +sysop as it is very dangerous. Bots can, however, edit pages protected up to the autoconfirmed level so if vandalism on that page is an issue you may reprotect it to the &quot;edit: autoconfirmed&quot; level and my bot won't have troubles with bypassing that restriction. Regards, --[[User:MarcoAurelio|MarcoAurelio]] ([[User talk:MarcoAurelio|talk]]) 10:45, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

== Hello ==

I would like to inform you that I have returned here after three weeks.

I mainly left due to the large-scale deletion of my templates and modules, most of which was unjustified. I would like to have these undeleted so the issues with templates can be properly addressed, rather than just deleting them. I would like to start by having these templates undeleted:
* [[Template:T]]
* [[Template:Blockedreason]]
* [[Template:Removed]] (and [[Template:Vote removed]])
Do you think you help with this? And, if so, could you add some-sort-of messaging saying that it is currently being worked-on and should ''not'' be immediately re-VfD'd? Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:44, 11 August 2022 (UTC)

:Welcome. I would recommend starting with the admins who deleted them and see if they think for some reason there was an error or something was deleted out of process. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:50, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
::I am not saying that is out of error, I just think that I can ''easily'' fix the issues that were given as the reason for deletion. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:52, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
:::Also, you would need to undelete the associated sub-pages. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:53, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
:::Sure, well I would still start with the deleting admin. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:55, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
::::{{done}} added a link to this discussion. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:58, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Wait... the deleting admin only deleted it because of a VfD, so if I am able to address the problems raised in the VfD, couldn't it just be undelete without needless bureaucracy? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:17, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
* All I did was close the discussions. In nearly every one, the consensus to delete was unanimous. I would recommend you take some time to consider working on tasks that do not require the creation of large amounts of templates and subpages, give that this wasn't a one-off issue, but one where there were scores of pages that needed to be deleted. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 20:35, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
*:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}} My reason for creating these was not just randomly make bad templates, instead I was trying to implement a much larger idea for Wikiquote, but since it would be such a large change and would require large changes to backend things like php and js, I instead only implemented a very small amount of it. But, since I only implemented small amounts of what actually wanted to do '''without context''', I instead made something that doesn't have any propose or value. So, instead, I would like to make a local 'test wiki' where I can work on larger things like this that can later be implemented properly on the main wiki.
*:Do you think you could help by sending an xml file of the deleted pages? Thanks, – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:31, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
*::I nominated the templates for deletion (and there was unanimous consensus to delete them) because they were fundamentally crap templates. The fact the implementation was terrible was only a small part of the problem, the big issue is that the ''ideas'' behind them were awful. No amount of JavaScript or PHP would have turned those pages into useful templates.
*::You have tried to reinvent processes for no good reason (often in really stupid ways involving obnoxious amounts of pings), you have made pointless duplicate templates that recreate functionality that already exists, and have created templates that should not be used under any situation because they violate fundamental project policies and fly in the face of wiki culture.
*::Of those three templates the first one duplicates a template we already have, the second was another duplicate template but with some really really terrible modifications, and the third was a horrendously bad idea for a template that should never ''ever'' be used under any situation.
*::I would oppose restoring these as the community has made it clear they don't want them. Banning people from nominating them for deletion after a unanimous consensus to delete is also a grossly inappropriate suggestion. The only admin action that I could see being remotely appropriate here is blocking you from template and module space. You clearly do not have the [[W:WP:CIR|competence]] to edit there productively and have made a ridiculous amount of mess treating this project as your personal sandbox that is going to take months and months to clean up. I haven't edited in a week due to real life work, but there is still a vast amount of localisation, clean-up and deletion nominations to be done. Fundamentally as a newbie who has only been here for a couple of months you should not be attempting to &quot;implement a much larger idea for Wikiquote&quot; and completely remake the project according to how you think it should be - that isn't how consensus or wiki communities work. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:02, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
*:::Forgive me, but, is it not &quot;cleaned up&quot; already? All of templates and modules appear to of been deleted. Also, I was not requesting they all be restored. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:49, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
*::::No, it's nowhere near finished. [[Special:WantedCategories]] is still full of clean-up categories that need renaming, merging, and actually creating. There are still a ton of modules and templates that you've copied from other projects without bothering to set them up properly, e.g. [[Module:Pagetype/config]], which still has a load of wikipedia only configurations in it. There are a bunch of unused templates that don't actually make a lot of sense on this project, [[Template:Disputed inline]] doesn't make a great deal of sense when applied to quotations. There are a bunch of templates that I cannot forsee anyone ever using, e.g. [[Template:Background color]] which is used to applying formatting that should never actually be used in pages, &lt;span style=&quot;background-color: orange&quot;&gt;Like this&lt;/span&gt;. And that's before we even get into looking at all the templates that you overwrote with wikipedia specific ones or messed around with for no good reason. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 08:56, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
*:::Please don’t, I have stopped the template creation and will only return to it when I know what I'm doing. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:41, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Don't get discouraged brother or sister. Figure it out. Lord knows I'm lucky to understand how email works some of the time. But do it on a test wiki. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 02:44, 13 August 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Ilovemydoodle&amp;type=revision&amp;diff=3146038&amp;oldid=3145984&amp;diffmode=source This]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:37, 20 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, while it is an inappropriate comment, I don't think it is eligible for RevDel. It is just a &quot;normal&quot; personal attack. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 11:24, 20 August 2022 (UTC)
::I'm a fan of [[:w:en:WP:DENY]] and happy to revdel things that don't even try to add to this site. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:31, 20 August 2022 (UTC)
:::[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Sandbox&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3146034&amp;diffmode=source This] should probably be removed as well. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:50, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
:::Wouldn't say that spending time going back to a month old edit no-one else will be looking at is a way of denying recognition to vandals. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:03, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Okay, if you want to leave this kind of trash in the edit history, you can. As I come across abusive edits like this, I remove them. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:04, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::It's not great to be in the edit history, but we are hiding these kinds of edits from public view. Would you say that the edit revision, as well as the edit summary, is bad enough that it should be hidden from other editors? Particularly with this edit - what is the worst that would happen if it was just left alone? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:09, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::Yes and probably nothing other than giving a troll what he wants. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:12, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Ferien}} Shouldn’t all personal attacks be revdeled? I thought &quot;special&quot; personal attacks are meant to be oversighted. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:52, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
:::{{re|Ilovemydoodle}} No absolutely not. There is no RevDel policy here, and we should definitely get one some point soon, but RevDel is generally only used for grossly inappropriate content. Both of these revisions certainly wouldn't be eligible for revision deletion at all on any other wiki I'm active on, especially not on English Wikipedia. And oversight can only be used for &quot;a blatant attack is one obviously intended to denigrate, threaten, libel, insult, or harass someone.&quot; --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:00, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
::::I think revdel should be used on any edit harmful bad-faith edit. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:38, 22 August 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Contributions/Deadlybreeze|These]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:54, 22 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:02, 22 August 2022 (UTC)
::Also, is [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikimedia_Forum&amp;oldid=23694862#Question_about_dumps_(this_is_actually_needed,_not_just_a_stupid/pointless_question) this] possible? (without dev access) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:10, 22 August 2022 (UTC)
::[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Ilovemydoodle&amp;type=revision&amp;diff=3148586&amp;oldid=3147432&amp;diffmode=source This too]! Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:13, 22 August 2022 (UTC)

== Block request ==

Could you softblock {{u|Ilovemycock}}? (I created it to prevent abuse) Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 10:04, 25 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} by {{u|Ferien}}. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 10:24, 25 August 2022 (UTC)

== Abuse filter ==

Could you import [[test2wiki:Special:AbuseFilter/29|this]] filter onto this wiki? Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:46, 26 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} This is pretty extensive as a filter. I'll have to keep my eyes on it and what kind of hits it gets. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:42, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::Did I do a good job? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:06, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::I think, but we'll find out by trying it. Such is life, I suppose. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:12, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Is there any way to make the filter block a user if they trigger it too much? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:13, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::As I recall, yes, but I'm not an abuse filter whiz. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:20, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::Who would know how to do that? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:21, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I don't even know where to start. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:28, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|Cabayi}} Do you know? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:40, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, it is not the best idea to ping users who are not active on this wiki to something they have not been involved in. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:47, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} I was trying to find a knowledgeable user. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:02, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{re|Ilovemydoodle}} then please head to AN or the Village pump. I have a little bit of experience with abuse filters and how to add to them, although I don't promise to be an abuse filter genius. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:09, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::Thanks, but you should probably remove the 'test' in the name of the filter. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:08, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:Could you give me the abuse helper right so I can check on the filter? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:22, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::I think this would need discussion and consensus first. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:24, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::It doesn’t allow you to edit it, just view it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:50, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Still needs consensus and doesn't exist here.--[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:56, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:Don't want to talk about the contents of the abuse filter too much onwiki but I imagine this could be merged into abuse filter 33. It has the same purpose. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:45, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Ferien}} Mine includes both GRP ''and'' Wikinger, while filter 33 only includes GRP. Maybe 33 could be merged into mine? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:52, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, they are essentially the same vandal. In fact, 34 doesn't really apply to Wikinger at all. It doesn't really matter which one it's merged into but an extensive amount of time has been spent on filter 33 to make it suitable for enwikiquote and their behaviour here. I was just checking and pretty much everything included in filter 34 is in 33 and more. But as I said I don't want to spend much time talking about the filter itself. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:54, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Ferien}} Could you copy it to test2wiki so I could view it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:28, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{u|Koavf}}, Could you do this? (I would like to compare it to my version) Thanks! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:24, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{re|Ilovemydoodle}} I am not sure why you are so concerned about this. Filter 33 is working very well and has significantly decreased the amount of disruption this vandal can cause, there is no need for additional filters or for the filter to be shown to you. It is hidden for a reason. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 10:40, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I would like it copied so I can compare it to my filter. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:08, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{re|Ilovemydoodle}} But why do you need to compare it to filter 33 when I already have done so? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:14, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} Because I would like to see it for myself. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:56, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
:I updated it, could you re-copy it? Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:27, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
::{{not done}}. Importing doesn't work. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:04, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
:::Delete it and then re-import it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:10, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
::::Okay, I can try. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:07, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{Tl|Done}}? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:44, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:12, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

[[Special:Permalink/3130363|This]] Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:27, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

:{{not done}} Why would this be deleted? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:08, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

== Protection request ==

Could you protect [[User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 2]]? (sysop-only, to prevent vandalism) Thanks! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:45, 27 August 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>4bdvfx4po5pkruwcfytu2gk5mvbofar</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Lightyear (film)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>248524</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158762</id>
      <parentid>3155360</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T04:13:57Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2600:1007:B027:EA31:21A1:6202:94CA:868B</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="4347" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Lightyear (film)|Lightyear]]''''' is a 2022 American [[w:Computer animation|computer-animated]] [[w:Science fiction film|science fiction]] [[w:Action film#Action-adventure|action-adventure film]] produced by [[w:Pixar|Pixar Animation Studios]] and released by [[w:Walt Disney Pictures|Walt Disney Pictures]]. It is a spin-off prequel of the ''[[Toy Story]]'' film series, serving as an origin story for the fictional test pilot/astronaut character who the Buzz Lightyear toy/action figure featured in the main films was inspired by.

:''Directed by [[w:Angus MacLane|Angus MacLane]]. Written by MacLane, Matthew Aldrich, and Jason Headley.''

{{film-stub}}

==Buzz Lightyear==
*I'm Buzz Lightyear, I'm always sure!
*Buzz Lightyear mission log. Star date 3901. After a full year of being marooned, our very first flight is a go.
*Let's get everyone home.
*Buzz Lightyear mission log. My mistake has marooned us on this strange planet. I need to make it right.
*Buzz Lightyear to Star Command, come in Star Command. Star Command, come in. Why don't they answer?
*''[as he attacks Zurg with his laser]'' Not today Zurg!

===Emperor Zurg===
*''[confronting Buzz]'' Buzz… come with me.
*''[attempting to kill Buzz for the last time]'' Buzz Lightyear, Mission Log: I now have the crystal in my possession, and can finally, at long last, finish the mission! I'm gonna go back and matter again, Buzz, and you, it will be like you were never here. So... prepare to die! ''[Buzz: Not today, Zurg!]'' Huh?!

==Sox==
*Hello, Buzz. I am Sox, your personal companion robot.
*I was issued by Star Command to ease your emotional transition after your time away.
*''[after shooting someone with a tranquilizer dart]'' I bought you 5 minutes.
*That was utterly terrifying and I regret having joined you.
*The probability of survival with an inexperienced crew is 38.2%.

==Izzy Hawthorne==
*I hope you're ready for action, because all we needed was a pilot.
*I have a plan, and I have a team.
*Grandma always said she believed in you.
*Are we going to space? I can see stars, that is space!

==Mo Morrison==
*We can do anything!
*Well, I thought that this was going to be like a fun boot camp, workout thing. But it is not.

==Darby Steel==
*I can do this, and they shave a little time off my sentence.
*I'm not allowed to handle weapons, would be a violation of my parole.
*Don't die is just something you want to do every day!

==Alisha Hawthorne==
*''[last words]'' Goodbye, Buzz. I'm sorry I won't be there to see you finish the mission. To infinity... ''[Buzz: And beyond.]''

==Dialogue==
TBA

==Taglines==
*Infinity awaits.
*In 1995, a boy named Andy got a Buzz Lightyear toy for his birthday. It was from his favorite movie. This is ''that'' movie.

==Voice cast==
* [[Chris Evans (actor)|Chris Evans]] &amp;ndash; Buzz Lightyear
** [[w:James Brolin|James Brolin]] &amp;ndash; Emperor Zurg

* [[w:Peter Sohn|Peter Sohn]] &amp;ndash; Sox

===Secondary===
* [[w:Keke Palmer|Keke Palmer]] &amp;ndash; Izzy Hawthorne
** Keira Hairston {{small|(young)}}

* [[w:Taika Waititi|Taika Waititi]] &amp;ndash; Mo Morrison

* [[w:Dale Soules|Dale Soules]] &amp;ndash; Darby Steel

* Mary McDonald-Lewis &amp;ndash; I.V.A.N.

===Minor===
* [[Uzo Aduba]] &amp;ndash; Alisha Hawthorne

* [[w:Efren Ramirez|Efren Ramirez]] &amp;ndash; Airman Diaz

* [[w:Isiah Whitlock Jr.|Isiah Whitlock Jr.]] &amp;ndash; Commander Burnside

* [[w:Tim Peake|Tim Peake]] &amp;ndash; Tim from [[w:Mission control center|Mission Control]]

* [[w:Bill Hader|Bill Hader]] &amp;ndash; Featheringhamstan

==External links==
* {{imdb title|10298810|Lightyear}}

{{wikipedia}}

{{Toy Story}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:Film spin-offs]]
[[Category:Prequel films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated action films]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fiction films]]
[[Category:American children's animated space adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero films]]
[[Category:Theatrically released animated superhero films]]
[[Category:Action adventure films]]
[[Category:Animated films about robots]]
[[Category:Science fiction films]]
[[Category:Extraterrestrial life films]]
[[Category:Films about astronauts]]
[[Category:Animated films about time travel]]
[[Category:Toy Story]]</text>
      <sha1>822tpbntxk6280nn4vju5u264uiwpdb</sha1>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 2</title>
    <ns>3</ns>
    <id>249029</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158693</id>
      <parentid>3158313</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T22:37:44Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Ilovemydoodle</username>
        <id>3120156</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Ilovemydoodle moved page [[User talk:Ilovemydoodle]] to [[User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 2]]: Archiving</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="42423" xml:space="preserve">{{Talkheader}}
{{User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Template:Archive}}

= Settings =

{{/cs}}

= Questions =

== Tagging socks ==

[[User_talk:Aphaia#IP_address_ban_and_Mass_deletion_of_articles|This is your sign to stop tagging socks]], it is now disrupting wiki-editing events. If you continue to tag socks disruptively, violating [[:w:WP:DENY]] and tagging innocent users, I will consider blocking you from the User: namespace here on Wikiquote. Thanks. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 16:53, 3 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|Ferien}} I promise to not only stop tagging socks, but that will I will also stop editing in other's user namespace. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:34, 3 July 2022 (UTC)
::Sounds good to me, thanks. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:38, 3 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|Ferien}} I will also take a short break from editing. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:02, 3 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Ferien}} I think I have developed a negative editing pattern, which is why I am taking a break. The negative editing pattern is this:
::::: Originally there was a lot of stuff for me to do on Wikiquote that didn't require other editors, so I started spending a lot of time here, but eventually most of the stuff I wanted to do here started to require waiting for other editors, but I continued to be on Wikiquote just as much, so what would happen is that I would make &quot;filler edits&quot; (edits that don't really contribute anything to anyone, myself included), and when anything interesting would happen, I would way over-do my editing.
::::So will be on Wikiquote less often, so when I am online I can make actually helpful contributions. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:31, 3 July 2022 (UTC)

== Umm... ==

You know, saying you're NOT a sockpuppet is like saying you are. [[Special:Contributions/65.184.185.156|65.184.185.156]] 02:34, 4 July 2022 (UTC)
 
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== No thank you. ==

We are not in the business of pre-emptively registering hypothetical obscene variations on our usernames &quot;just in case.&quot; [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 16:04, 22 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}} Extremely common insult from GRP, who is known to create fake accounts like that. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:07, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
::I still don't even know who GRP even is. Regardless, as has been said numerous times, please ignore and carry on. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 20:40, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
:::If you are creating it simply so LTAs can't, then don't create a user page for it. This is not a [[:w:WP:DG|doppelganger]] so no redirect is required. Just request a block on it and move on, instead of directly ignoring an admin's advice by recreating the page 2 weeks later. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 09:20, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Ferien}} {{done}} Also, [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Log?type=delete&amp;user=&amp;page=user%3AIlovemycock&amp;wpdate=&amp;tagfilter=&amp;wpfilters%5B%5D=newusers  it was never deleted]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 10:05, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::It was deleted, just the log details were hidden. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 10:19, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|Ferien}} Oh. I did remember creating it, but I assumed that I got it mixed up with a different page I created. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 10:24, 25 August 2022 (UTC)

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{{VFDNote|Category:Suspected Wikipedia sockpuppets of GR&lt;noinclude/&gt;P}} [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 13:39, 24 July 2022 (UTC)

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==Note==
After spending a non-insignificant amount of time trying to clean up the large amount of your templates that have been nominated for deletion (and which have almost entirely seen community consensus to delete). You need to slow your roll. Uf you want to test functionality, you need to use one of the test wikis, not a live project.

At the very least, if I see you importing another template wholesale from Wikipedia (like Db-g12) that is not applicable to this project and/or not adapted to this project, I'm going to block you without further warning. This isn't a sandbox, and you're creating a lot of work for others because you want to experiment and can't seem to clean up after yourself. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 21:08, 1 August 2022 (UTC)
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      <sha1>83d6ob2p44h5fy8wp72fc2evw31z3ts</sha1>
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== Tagging socks ==

[[User_talk:Aphaia#IP_address_ban_and_Mass_deletion_of_articles|This is your sign to stop tagging socks]], it is now disrupting wiki-editing events. If you continue to tag socks disruptively, violating [[:w:WP:DENY]] and tagging innocent users, I will consider blocking you from the User: namespace here on Wikiquote. Thanks. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 16:53, 3 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|Ferien}} I promise to not only stop tagging socks, but that will I will also stop editing in other's user namespace. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:34, 3 July 2022 (UTC)
::Sounds good to me, thanks. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:38, 3 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|Ferien}} I will also take a short break from editing. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:02, 3 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Ferien}} I think I have developed a negative editing pattern, which is why I am taking a break. The negative editing pattern is this:
::::: Originally there was a lot of stuff for me to do on Wikiquote that didn't require other editors, so I started spending a lot of time here, but eventually most of the stuff I wanted to do here started to require waiting for other editors, but I continued to be on Wikiquote just as much, so what would happen is that I would make &quot;filler edits&quot; (edits that don't really contribute anything to anyone, myself included), and when anything interesting would happen, I would way over-do my editing.
::::So will be on Wikiquote less often, so when I am online I can make actually helpful contributions. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:31, 3 July 2022 (UTC)

== Umm... ==

You know, saying you're NOT a sockpuppet is like saying you are. [[Special:Contributions/65.184.185.156|65.184.185.156]] 02:34, 4 July 2022 (UTC)
 
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== No thank you. ==

We are not in the business of pre-emptively registering hypothetical obscene variations on our usernames &quot;just in case.&quot; [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 16:04, 22 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}} Extremely common insult from GRP, who is known to create fake accounts like that. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:07, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
::I still don't even know who GRP even is. Regardless, as has been said numerous times, please ignore and carry on. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 20:40, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
:::If you are creating it simply so LTAs can't, then don't create a user page for it. This is not a [[:w:WP:DG|doppelganger]] so no redirect is required. Just request a block on it and move on, instead of directly ignoring an admin's advice by recreating the page 2 weeks later. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 09:20, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Ferien}} {{done}} Also, [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Log?type=delete&amp;user=&amp;page=user%3AIlovemycock&amp;wpdate=&amp;tagfilter=&amp;wpfilters%5B%5D=newusers  it was never deleted]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 10:05, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::It was deleted, just the log details were hidden. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 10:19, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|Ferien}} Oh. I did remember creating it, but I assumed that I got it mixed up with a different page I created. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 10:24, 25 August 2022 (UTC)

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==Template:SpellCheck==
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==Template:Db-g12==
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==Template:Db-copyvio-notice==
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{{VFDNote|Category:Suspected Wikipedia sockpuppets of GR&lt;noinclude/&gt;P}} [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 13:39, 24 July 2022 (UTC)

==Template:Blockedreason==
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==Template:Uw-afd5==
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==Template:Ensure AAA contrast ratio==
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==WQT Pseudo-namespace==
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==Module:RedactURL==
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==Module:Normalize==
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==Module:Hash==
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==Module:Subst==
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==Template:Longquote-line==
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==Template:Hang on/notice2==
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==Category:Suspected sockpuppets==
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==Template:Sockpuppet/categorise==
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==Template:Ping all administrators==
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==Template:Election results==
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==Note==
After spending a non-insignificant amount of time trying to clean up the large amount of your templates that have been nominated for deletion (and which have almost entirely seen community consensus to delete). You need to slow your roll. Uf you want to test functionality, you need to use one of the test wikis, not a live project.

At the very least, if I see you importing another template wholesale from Wikipedia (like Db-g12) that is not applicable to this project and/or not adapted to this project, I'm going to block you without further warning. This isn't a sandbox, and you're creating a lot of work for others because you want to experiment and can't seem to clean up after yourself. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 21:08, 1 August 2022 (UTC)
==Template:Film-cleanup/doc==
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==Template:Pp-template==
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==Template:Cut==
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==Module:Shortcut/w==
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==Template:SectionID==
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==Ambox duplicates==
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==Module:GetSectionName==
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==Module:GetSection==
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==Template:Edit section==
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==Module:Message box/old==
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[[Category:User talk archives]]</text>
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      <comment>Protected &quot;[[User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 2]]&quot; ([Edit=Allow only administrators] (indefinite) [Move=Allow only administrators] (indefinite))</comment>
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== Tagging socks ==

[[User_talk:Aphaia#IP_address_ban_and_Mass_deletion_of_articles|This is your sign to stop tagging socks]], it is now disrupting wiki-editing events. If you continue to tag socks disruptively, violating [[:w:WP:DENY]] and tagging innocent users, I will consider blocking you from the User: namespace here on Wikiquote. Thanks. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 16:53, 3 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|Ferien}} I promise to not only stop tagging socks, but that will I will also stop editing in other's user namespace. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:34, 3 July 2022 (UTC)
::Sounds good to me, thanks. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:38, 3 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|Ferien}} I will also take a short break from editing. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:02, 3 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Ferien}} I think I have developed a negative editing pattern, which is why I am taking a break. The negative editing pattern is this:
::::: Originally there was a lot of stuff for me to do on Wikiquote that didn't require other editors, so I started spending a lot of time here, but eventually most of the stuff I wanted to do here started to require waiting for other editors, but I continued to be on Wikiquote just as much, so what would happen is that I would make &quot;filler edits&quot; (edits that don't really contribute anything to anyone, myself included), and when anything interesting would happen, I would way over-do my editing.
::::So will be on Wikiquote less often, so when I am online I can make actually helpful contributions. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:31, 3 July 2022 (UTC)

== Umm... ==

You know, saying you're NOT a sockpuppet is like saying you are. [[Special:Contributions/65.184.185.156|65.184.185.156]] 02:34, 4 July 2022 (UTC)
 
==Template:Duplicate (10x)==
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== No thank you. ==

We are not in the business of pre-emptively registering hypothetical obscene variations on our usernames &quot;just in case.&quot; [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 16:04, 22 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}} Extremely common insult from GRP, who is known to create fake accounts like that. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:07, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
::I still don't even know who GRP even is. Regardless, as has been said numerous times, please ignore and carry on. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 20:40, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
:::If you are creating it simply so LTAs can't, then don't create a user page for it. This is not a [[:w:WP:DG|doppelganger]] so no redirect is required. Just request a block on it and move on, instead of directly ignoring an admin's advice by recreating the page 2 weeks later. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 09:20, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Ferien}} {{done}} Also, [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Log?type=delete&amp;user=&amp;page=user%3AIlovemycock&amp;wpdate=&amp;tagfilter=&amp;wpfilters%5B%5D=newusers  it was never deleted]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 10:05, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::It was deleted, just the log details were hidden. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 10:19, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|Ferien}} Oh. I did remember creating it, but I assumed that I got it mixed up with a different page I created. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 10:24, 25 August 2022 (UTC)

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{{VFDNote|Category:Suspected Wikipedia sockpuppets of GR&lt;noinclude/&gt;P}} [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 13:39, 24 July 2022 (UTC)

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==Template:Hang on/notice2==
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==Category:Suspected sockpuppets==
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==Template:Sockpuppet/categorise==
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==Template:Ping all administrators==
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==Template:Election results==
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==Note==
After spending a non-insignificant amount of time trying to clean up the large amount of your templates that have been nominated for deletion (and which have almost entirely seen community consensus to delete). You need to slow your roll. Uf you want to test functionality, you need to use one of the test wikis, not a live project.

At the very least, if I see you importing another template wholesale from Wikipedia (like Db-g12) that is not applicable to this project and/or not adapted to this project, I'm going to block you without further warning. This isn't a sandbox, and you're creating a lot of work for others because you want to experiment and can't seem to clean up after yourself. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 21:08, 1 August 2022 (UTC)
==Template:Film-cleanup/doc==
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==Template:Pp-template==
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==Template:Cut==
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==Module:Shortcut/w==
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==Template:SectionID==
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==Ambox duplicates==
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==Module:GetSectionName==
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==Module:GetSection==
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==Template:Edit section==
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==Module:Message box/old==
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[[Category:User talk archives]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Template:Archive</title>
    <ns>3</ns>
    <id>249030</id>
    <revision>
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      <parentid>3139643</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T22:41:17Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Ilovemydoodle</username>
        <id>3120156</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="266" xml:space="preserve">{{#ifexist:User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 2|{{#ifexist:User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 1|{{User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Template:Archive/archive}}|{{User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Template:Archive/error}}}}|{{User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Template:Archive/error}}}}</text>
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  <page>
    <title>User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Template:Archive/archive</title>
    <ns>3</ns>
    <id>249178</id>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-27T22:44:01Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Ilovemydoodle</username>
        <id>3120156</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Added archive</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="736" xml:space="preserve">{| class=&quot;infobox&quot;
|+'''Ilovemydoodle Archives''' [[File:Vista-file-manager.png|alt=An icon of a file folder|50px|Archive]]
|-
! align=&quot;center&quot; | [[:w:en:Wikipedia:How to archive a talk page|Archives]] from 2005 to present
----
|-
|'''[[User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 1|Archive 1]]''' (55 topics)
:* May 7, 2022 – July 3, 2022
:* 60 Kilobytes
|-
|'''[[User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 2|Archive 2]]''' (56 topics)
:* July 3, 2022 – August 25, 2022
:* 42 Kilobytes
----
|-
|style=&quot;text-align:center;&quot;|'''[[User talk:Ilovemydoodle|Current discussion]]'''
----
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  <page>
    <title>User talk:Guy vandegrift</title>
    <ns>3</ns>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158527</id>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-27T15:45:54Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Guy vandegrift</username>
        <id>968271</id>
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      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="626" xml:space="preserve">{{welcome}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:51, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

{{User:Ilovemydoodle/Template:Import intrest}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:51, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:I occasionally import templates from wikipedia to wikiversity.  That's all.  If my imports cause a problem I will stop.--[[User:Guy vandegrift|Guy vandegrift]] ([[User talk:Guy vandegrift|talk]]) 15:45, 27 August 2022 (UTC)</text>
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  <page>
    <title>She-Hulk: Attorney at Law</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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    <revision>
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      <contributor>
        <username>Ooznoz</username>
        <id>2443114</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* A Normal Amount of Rage [1.01] */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
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      <text bytes="5052" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:She-Hulk: Attorney at Law|She-Hulk: Attorney at Law]]''''' is an American television miniseries created by [[w:Jessica Gao|Jessica Gao]] for the streaming service [[w:Disney+|Disney+]], based on the [[w:Marvel Comics|Marvel Comics]] featuring the character [[w:She-Hulk|Jennifer Walters / She-Hulk]], cousin of [[w:Hulk|Dr. Bruce Banner / The Hulk]].

== ''A Normal Amount of Rage'' [1.01] ==
:'''Jennifer Walters''': My theory. Steve Rogers did not have a girlfriend before he went into the service.
:'''Bruce Banner''': Says who?
:'''Jennifer Walters''': The History Channel. So he becomes Captain America. And from that moment on, a symbol of America. He is rushed to the front lines. He becomes a war hero. Then he is frozen in ice. So based on everything you've told me, after he gets unfrozen, he goes from world-threatening disaster to world-threatening disaster. That's when he's not a fugitive from the law, right? So it seems like he was pretty, pretty busy.
:'''Bruce Banner''': All you're doing is repeating everything that I've already told you about my friend and colleague.
:'''Jennifer Walters''': Obviously, Captain America was a virgin.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jennifer Walters''': I thought the point was to prevent me from turning into a Hulk.
:'''Smart Hulk''': These transformations are triggered by distressed, emotional sates. So we need to know the exact threshold that causes it for you. The triggers are anger and fear.
:'''Jennifer Walters''': Those are like the baseline of any woman just existing.
:'''Smart Hulk''':  Alright, then let's try this.
:''[He presses a button which unleashes a wall of saws inside the chamber with Jennifer.]''
:'''Jennifer Walters''': Bruce! It kinda feels like if I don't transform, I'm gonna die! Do you have a plan B for that?
:'''Smart Hulk''': Ha, nope.
:'''Jennifer Walters''': &quot;No&quot;? Ah! Not funny, Bruce! ''[She tears off the helmet on her head]'' What? You're just gonna kill me? Come on!
:'''Smart Hulk''': Put on the helmet, we need the data!
:''[The wall of saws come even closer]''
:'''Jennifer Walters''': ''[eyes bulging in fear]'' WHAT DO YOU NORMALLY USE THIS CHAMBER FOR, YOU PSYCHOPATH?!
:''[She covers her eyes; suddenly two very large green arms smash the wall and pushes it back where it started. Jennifer has successfully Hulked out.]''
:'''Smart Hulk''':  [thumbs up] Yes! Yes. Yes.
:''[She-Hulk growls and turns towards the door, tearing it loose]''
:'''Smart Hulk''': No! No!
:''[He backs away as She-Hulk breaks free from the chamber and approaches him, roaring angrily]''
:'''Smart Hulk''': Easy, girl! Easy! Easy.
:''[Suddenly, the rage and anger disappear from She-Hulk's face]
:'''She-Hulk''': Why are you talking to me like I'm a stray horse?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50% /&gt;
:''[Smart Hulk wakes Jennifer up with an air horn. She turns into her Hulk form, wrecking the bed.]''
:'''Jennifer Walters''': ''[upset]'' Jeez! What the ''hell'', man!
:'''Smart Hulk''':  You're still in control? No overwhelming feelings of rage?
:'''Jennifer Walters''': ''No, a'' '''normal''' ''amount of rage!!''
:'''Smart Hulk''':  You ''do'' revert back to Jen form when you sleep. 
:'''Jennifer Walters''': Was the air horn really necessary?
:'''Smart Hulk''':  ''[amused]'' For comedy, absolutely.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50% /&gt;
:''[mid-credit scene; Jennifer is commiserating about her theory with Smart Hulk]''
:'''Jennifer Walters''': ''[tearfully]'' It's just so sad. Steve Rogers did so much for his country and he never got to experience sex. ''[continues sobbing]'' Did you see that ass? Like, that ass did not ''[sobs]'' deserve to die a virgin. It's, like, so sad.
:''[Jennifer gulps down a large drink]''
:'''Smart Hulk''': ''[sighs]'' Steve Rogers is not a virgin. He lost his virginity to a girl in 1943 on the USO tour.
:''[Jennifer puts down her drink]''
:'''Jennifer Walters''': ''[brightening, smiles]'' Yes! I KNEW IT!
:'''Smart Hulk''': You're not drunk?
:'''Jennifer Walters''': [[w:Steve Rogers (Marvel Cinematic Universe)|CAPTAIN AMERICA]] FU--

== Superhuman Law [1.02] ==

== [1.03] ==

== [1.04] ==

== [1.05] ==

== [1.06] ==

== [1.07] ==

== [1.08] ==

== [1.09] ==

== Cast ==
* [[w:Tatiana Maslany|Tatiana Maslany]] as [[w:She-Hulk|She-Hulk / Jennifer Walters]]
* [[w:Jameela Jamil|Jameela Jamil]] as [[w:Titania (Marvel Comics)|Titania]]
* [[w:Ginger Gonzaga|Ginger Gonzaga]] as Nikki Ramos
* [[w:Renée Elise Goldsberry|Renée Elise Goldsberry]] as [[w:Mallory Book|Mallory Book]]
* [[w:Tim Roth|Tim Roth]] as [[w:Abomination (comics)|Abomination / Emil Blonsky]]
* [[w:Mark Ruffalo|Mark Ruffalo]] as [[w:Bruce Banner (Marvel Cinematic Universe)|Smart Hulk / Bruce Banner]]
* [[w:Benedict Wong|Benedict Wong]] as [[w:Wong (Marvel Cinematic Universe)|Wong]]
* [[w:Charlie Cox|Charlie Cox]] as [[w:Matt Murdock (Marvel Cinematic Universe)|Daredevil / Matt Murdock]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:Marvel Cinematic Universe]]
[[Category:Disney+ shows]]
[[Category:Superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Television programs based on comics]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Project Pat</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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      <text bytes="793" xml:space="preserve">'''Patrick Houston''' (February 8, 1973), better known by his stage name, Project Pat, is an American singer, songwriter and producer.

==Quotes==
* &quot;In 2002, Around the time [when &quot;Chickenhead&quot; was out], I had got locked up on a gun charge, so really, the time that all that was going on—I got out on bond from the feds, stayed out like six months, and then when the album dropped, I was doing a lot of shows. What ended up happening was I got locked up so I couldn’t do anything. I probably would have [performed in New York], but I’ve never done a solo show. I’ve done shows in New York back in the day with Three 6 [Mafia] but I’ve never done a solo show by myself.&quot;
https://www.complex.com/music/2013/03/interview-project-pat-relevant-pimp-c-chief-keef

[[Category:1973 births]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Mount Athos</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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      <contributor>
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      <comment>additional quotes</comment>
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      <text bytes="4404" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Mt. Athos (3939757657).jpg|thumb|A view of Mount Athos]]
'''[[w:Mount Athos|Mount Athos]]''' is a mountain and [[w:peninsula|peninsula]] in northeastern [[Greece]] and an important centre of [[w:Eastern Orthodoxy|Eastern Orthodox]] [[w:monasticism|monasticism]]. It is governed as an [[w:Territorial autonomy|autonomous polity]] within the Hellenic Republic, namely the [[w:monastic community of Mount Athos|monastic community of Mount Athos]] under the direct jurisdiction of the [[w:Ecumenical Patriarchate of Constantinople|Ecumenical Patriarch of Constantinople]].

== Quotes ==
* Given all the ways – both explicit and subtle – in which [[hesychasm]] is profoundly embroidered into the fabric of contemporary monasticism at the Holy Mountain, it is thus justified to conclude that '''not only is hesychasm Athonite, but Athos too is fundamentally hesychast'''.
** Dorobantu, Marius (2022). [https://www.academia.edu/81872913/Hesychasm_at_the_Holy_Mountain_Athos_is_Hesychast_and_Hesychasm_is_Athonite_chapter_in_the_forthcoming_Routledge_Handbook_of_Mount_Athos_Hesychasm Hesychasm at the Holy Mountain: Athos is Hesychast and Hesychasm is Athonite]. ''Routledge Handbook of Mount Athos''. London: Routledge.

* '''This [[hesychia|stillness]], this [[silence]], is everywhere, pervades, all, is the very essence of the Holy Mountain.''' ... But this stillness, this silence, is far more than a mere absence of sound. It has a positive quiality, a quality of fullness, of plenitude, of the eternal Peace which is there reflected in the veil of the Mother of God, enshrouding and protecting her Holy Mountain, offering inner silence, peace of heart, to those who dwell there and to those who come with openness of heart to seek this blessing.
** Palmer, G. E. H. &quot;Silence over Athos.&quot; First published in the periodical ''Orthodox Life'' (Holy Trinity Russian Orthodox Monastery, Jordanville, NY) Nov.-Dec. 1968, p.33. Also quoted in: Ware, Kallistos. “Two British Pilgrims to the Holy Mountain: Gerald Palmer and Philip Sherrard.” In ''The Monastic Magnet: Roads to and from Mount Athos'', edited by René Gothóni and Graham Speake, 143–57. Oxford: Peter Lang. (pp. 150–51)

* Here every [[stone]] breathes [[prayer]]s.
** [[w:Nikon of Karoulia|Nikon of Karoulia]]
*** Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 180)

* There came to my mind an Athonite anecdote, typical of the monastic sense of humour, about an elder who was celebrating the pre-dawn service with his disciples. Disturbed by the noise of the nearby frogs, he went out of the chapel to remonstrate. ‘[[Frog]]s,’ he said, ‘we’ve just completed the Midnight Of fice and are starting Matins: would you mind keeping quiet until we’ve finished.’ Whereupon the frogs replied, ‘We’ve just completed Matins and are starting the First Hour: would you mind keeping quiet until we’ve finished.’
** [[w:Kallistos (Ware)|Kallistos Ware]]
*** Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 178)

* I have never actually seen [[wolf|wolves]] on Mount Athos, although in the past I have noted what I took to be their footprints in the sandy paths not far from the northern frontier of the monastic territory. No doubt they were observing me from the undergrowth nearby. The presence of wolves on the Mountain, at least as recently as the 1970s, always struck me as a reassuring sign. For wolves in their own way are [[hesychasm|hesychasts]], who dislike disturbance and noisy intrusion from human beings. So long as they continued to make their home on Athos, this was an indication that the Mountain remained still a place of silence and seclusion. Their disappearance troubles me.
** [[w:Kallistos (Ware)|Kallistos Ware]]
*** Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 177)

== See also ==
* [[Hilandar Monastery]]
* [[Joseph the Hesychast]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Wikivoyage}}

[[Category:Greece]]
[[Category:Monasticism]]
[[Category:Mountains]]
[[Category:Regions]]</text>
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'''[[w:Mount Athos|Mount Athos]]''' is a mountain and [[w:peninsula|peninsula]] in northeastern [[Greece]] and an important centre of [[w:Eastern Orthodoxy|Eastern Orthodox]] [[w:monasticism|monasticism]]. It is governed as an [[w:Territorial autonomy|autonomous polity]] within the Hellenic Republic, namely the [[w:monastic community of Mount Athos|monastic community of Mount Athos]] under the direct jurisdiction of the [[w:Ecumenical Patriarchate of Constantinople|Ecumenical Patriarch of Constantinople]].

== Quotes ==
* Given all the ways – both explicit and subtle – in which [[hesychasm]] is profoundly embroidered into the fabric of contemporary monasticism at the Holy Mountain, it is thus justified to conclude that '''not only is hesychasm Athonite, but Athos too is fundamentally hesychast'''.
** Dorobantu, Marius (2022). [https://www.academia.edu/81872913/Hesychasm_at_the_Holy_Mountain_Athos_is_Hesychast_and_Hesychasm_is_Athonite_chapter_in_the_forthcoming_Routledge_Handbook_of_Mount_Athos_Hesychasm Hesychasm at the Holy Mountain: Athos is Hesychast and Hesychasm is Athonite]. ''Routledge Handbook of Mount Athos''. London: Routledge.

* '''This [[hesychia|stillness]], this [[silence]], is everywhere, pervades, all, is the very essence of the Holy Mountain.''' ... But this stillness, this silence, is far more than a mere absence of sound. It has a positive quiality, a quality of fullness, of plenitude, of the eternal Peace which is there reflected in the veil of the Mother of God, enshrouding and protecting her Holy Mountain, offering inner silence, peace of heart, to those who dwell there and to those who come with openness of heart to seek this blessing.
** Palmer, G. E. H. &quot;Silence over Athos.&quot; First published in the periodical ''Orthodox Life'' (Holy Trinity Russian Orthodox Monastery, Jordanville, NY) Nov.-Dec. 1968, p.33. Also quoted in: Ware, Kallistos. “Two British Pilgrims to the Holy Mountain: Gerald Palmer and Philip Sherrard.” In ''The Monastic Magnet: Roads to and from Mount Athos'', edited by René Gothóni and Graham Speake, 143–57. Oxford: Peter Lang. (pp. 150–51)

* Here every [[stone]] breathes [[prayer]]s.
** [[w:Nikon of Karoulia|Nikon of Karoulia]]
*** Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 180)

* There came to my mind an Athonite anecdote, typical of the monastic sense of humour, about an elder who was celebrating the pre-dawn service with his disciples. Disturbed by the noise of the nearby frogs, he went out of the chapel to remonstrate. ‘[[Frog]]s,’ he said, ‘we’ve just completed the Midnight Office and are starting [[w:Matins|Matins]]: would you mind keeping quiet until we’ve finished.’ Whereupon the frogs replied, ‘We’ve just completed Matins and are starting the First Hour: would you mind keeping quiet until we’ve finished.’
** [[w:Kallistos (Ware)|Kallistos Ware]]. Quoted in: Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 178)

* I have never actually seen [[wolf|wolves]] on Mount Athos, although in the past I have noted what I took to be their footprints in the sandy paths not far from the northern frontier of the monastic territory. No doubt they were observing me from the undergrowth nearby. The presence of wolves on the Mountain, at least as recently as the 1970s, always struck me as a reassuring sign. For wolves in their own way are [[hesychasm|hesychasts]], who dislike disturbance and noisy intrusion from human beings. So long as they continued to make their home on Athos, this was an indication that the Mountain remained still a place of silence and seclusion. Their disappearance troubles me.
** [[w:Kallistos (Ware)|Kallistos Ware]]. Quoted in: Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 177)

== See also ==
* [[Hilandar Monastery]]
* [[Joseph the Hesychast]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Wikivoyage}}

[[Category:Greece]]
[[Category:Monasticism]]
[[Category:Mountains]]
[[Category:Regions]]</text>
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'''[[w:Mount Athos|Mount Athos]]''' is a mountain and [[w:peninsula|peninsula]] in northeastern [[Greece]] and an important centre of [[w:Eastern Orthodoxy|Eastern Orthodox]] [[w:monasticism|monasticism]]. It is governed as an [[w:Territorial autonomy|autonomous polity]] within the Hellenic Republic, namely the [[w:monastic community of Mount Athos|monastic community of Mount Athos]] under the direct jurisdiction of the [[w:Ecumenical Patriarchate of Constantinople|Ecumenical Patriarch of Constantinople]].

== Quotes ==
* Given all the ways – both explicit and subtle – in which [[hesychasm]] is profoundly embroidered into the fabric of contemporary monasticism at the Holy Mountain, it is thus justified to conclude that '''not only is hesychasm Athonite, but Athos too is fundamentally hesychast'''.
** Dorobantu, Marius (2022). [https://www.academia.edu/81872913/Hesychasm_at_the_Holy_Mountain_Athos_is_Hesychast_and_Hesychasm_is_Athonite_chapter_in_the_forthcoming_Routledge_Handbook_of_Mount_Athos_Hesychasm Hesychasm at the Holy Mountain: Athos is Hesychast and Hesychasm is Athonite]. ''Routledge Handbook of Mount Athos''. London: Routledge.

* '''This [[hesychia|stillness]], this [[silence]], is everywhere, pervades, all, is the very essence of the Holy Mountain.''' ... But this stillness, this silence, is far more than a mere absence of sound. It has a positive quiality, a quality of fullness, of plenitude, of the eternal Peace which is there reflected in the veil of the Mother of God, enshrouding and protecting her Holy Mountain, offering inner silence, peace of heart, to those who dwell there and to those who come with openness of heart to seek this blessing.
** Palmer, G. E. H. &quot;Silence over Athos.&quot; First published in the periodical ''Orthodox Life'' (Holy Trinity Russian Orthodox Monastery, Jordanville, NY) Nov.-Dec. 1968, p.33. Also quoted in: Ware, Kallistos. “Two British Pilgrims to the Holy Mountain: Gerald Palmer and Philip Sherrard.” In ''The Monastic Magnet: Roads to and from Mount Athos'', edited by René Gothóni and Graham Speake, 143–57. Oxford: Peter Lang. (pp. 150–51)

=== Nature ===
* Here every [[stone]] breathes [[prayer]]s.
** [[w:Nikon of Karoulia|Nikon of Karoulia]]
*** Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 180)

* There came to my mind an Athonite anecdote, typical of the monastic sense of humour, about an elder who was celebrating the pre-dawn service with his disciples. Disturbed by the noise of the nearby frogs, he went out of the chapel to remonstrate. ‘[[Frog]]s,’ he said, ‘we’ve just completed the Midnight Office and are starting [[w:Matins|Matins]]: would you mind keeping quiet until we’ve finished.’ Whereupon the frogs replied, ‘We’ve just completed Matins and are starting the First Hour: would you mind keeping quiet until we’ve finished.’
** [[w:Kallistos (Ware)|Kallistos Ware]]. Quoted in: Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 178)

* I have never actually seen [[wolf|wolves]] on Mount Athos, although in the past I have noted what I took to be their footprints in the sandy paths not far from the northern frontier of the monastic territory. No doubt they were observing me from the undergrowth nearby. The presence of wolves on the Mountain, at least as recently as the 1970s, always struck me as a reassuring sign. For wolves in their own way are [[hesychasm|hesychasts]], who dislike disturbance and noisy intrusion from human beings. So long as they continued to make their home on Athos, this was an indication that the Mountain remained still a place of silence and seclusion. Their disappearance troubles me.
** [[w:Kallistos (Ware)|Kallistos Ware]]. Quoted in: Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 177)

== See also ==
* [[Hilandar Monastery]]
* [[Joseph the Hesychast]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Wikivoyage}}

[[Category:Greece]]
[[Category:Monasticism]]
[[Category:Mountains]]
[[Category:Regions]]</text>
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'''[[w:Mount Athos|Mount Athos]]''' is a mountain and [[w:peninsula|peninsula]] in northeastern [[Greece]] and an important centre of [[w:Eastern Orthodoxy|Eastern Orthodox]] [[w:monasticism|monasticism]]. It is governed as an [[w:Territorial autonomy|autonomous polity]] within the Hellenic Republic, namely the [[w:monastic community of Mount Athos|monastic community of Mount Athos]] under the direct jurisdiction of the [[w:Ecumenical Patriarchate of Constantinople|Ecumenical Patriarch of Constantinople]].

== Quotes ==
* Given all the ways – both explicit and subtle – in which [[hesychasm]] is profoundly embroidered into the fabric of contemporary monasticism at the Holy Mountain, it is thus justified to conclude that '''not only is hesychasm Athonite, but Athos too is fundamentally hesychast'''.
** Dorobantu, Marius (2022). [https://www.academia.edu/81872913/Hesychasm_at_the_Holy_Mountain_Athos_is_Hesychast_and_Hesychasm_is_Athonite_chapter_in_the_forthcoming_Routledge_Handbook_of_Mount_Athos_Hesychasm Hesychasm at the Holy Mountain: Athos is Hesychast and Hesychasm is Athonite]. ''Routledge Handbook of Mount Athos''. London: Routledge.

* '''This [[hesychia|stillness]], this [[silence]], is everywhere, pervades, all, is the very essence of the Holy Mountain.''' ... But this stillness, this silence, is far more than a mere absence of sound. It has a positive quiality, a quality of fullness, of plenitude, of the eternal Peace which is there reflected in the veil of the Mother of God, enshrouding and protecting her Holy Mountain, offering inner silence, peace of heart, to those who dwell there and to those who come with openness of heart to seek this blessing.
** Palmer, G. E. H. &quot;Silence over Athos.&quot; First published in the periodical ''Orthodox Life'' (Holy Trinity Russian Orthodox Monastery, Jordanville, NY) Nov.-Dec. 1968, p.33. Also quoted in: Ware, Kallistos. “Two British Pilgrims to the Holy Mountain: Gerald Palmer and Philip Sherrard.” In ''The Monastic Magnet: Roads to and from Mount Athos'', edited by René Gothóni and Graham Speake, 143–57. Oxford: Peter Lang. (pp. 150–51)

=== Nature ===
* Here every [[stone]] breathes [[prayer]]s.
** [[w:Nikon of Karoulia|Nikon of Karoulia]]. Quoted in: Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 180)

* There came to my mind an Athonite anecdote, typical of the monastic sense of humour, about an elder who was celebrating the pre-dawn service with his disciples. Disturbed by the noise of the nearby frogs, he went out of the chapel to remonstrate. ‘[[Frog]]s,’ he said, ‘we’ve just completed the Midnight Office and are starting [[w:Matins|Matins]]: would you mind keeping quiet until we’ve finished.’ Whereupon the frogs replied, ‘We’ve just completed Matins and are starting the First Hour: would you mind keeping quiet until we’ve finished.’
** [[w:Kallistos (Ware)|Kallistos Ware]]. Quoted in: Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 178)

* I have never actually seen [[wolf|wolves]] on Mount Athos, although in the past I have noted what I took to be their footprints in the sandy paths not far from the northern frontier of the monastic territory. No doubt they were observing me from the undergrowth nearby. The presence of wolves on the Mountain, at least as recently as the 1970s, always struck me as a reassuring sign. For wolves in their own way are [[hesychasm|hesychasts]], who dislike disturbance and noisy intrusion from human beings. So long as they continued to make their home on Athos, this was an indication that the Mountain remained still a place of silence and seclusion. Their disappearance troubles me.
** [[w:Kallistos (Ware)|Kallistos Ware]]. Quoted in: Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 177)

== See also ==
* [[Hilandar Monastery]]
* [[Joseph the Hesychast]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Wikivoyage}}

[[Category:Greece]]
[[Category:Monasticism]]
[[Category:Mountains]]
[[Category:Regions]]</text>
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'''[[w:Mount Athos|Mount Athos]]''' is a mountain and [[w:peninsula|peninsula]] in northeastern [[Greece]] and an important centre of [[w:Eastern Orthodoxy|Eastern Orthodox]] [[w:monasticism|monasticism]]. It is governed as an [[w:Territorial autonomy|autonomous polity]] within the Hellenic Republic, namely the [[w:monastic community of Mount Athos|monastic community of Mount Athos]] under the direct jurisdiction of the [[w:Ecumenical Patriarchate of Constantinople|Ecumenical Patriarch of Constantinople]].

== Quotes ==
* Given all the ways – both explicit and subtle – in which [[hesychasm]] is profoundly embroidered into the fabric of contemporary monasticism at the Holy Mountain, it is thus justified to conclude that '''not only is hesychasm Athonite, but Athos too is fundamentally hesychast'''.
** Dorobantu, Marius (2022). [https://www.academia.edu/81872913/Hesychasm_at_the_Holy_Mountain_Athos_is_Hesychast_and_Hesychasm_is_Athonite_chapter_in_the_forthcoming_Routledge_Handbook_of_Mount_Athos_Hesychasm Hesychasm at the Holy Mountain: Athos is Hesychast and Hesychasm is Athonite]. ''Routledge Handbook of Mount Athos''. London: Routledge.

* '''This [[hesychia|stillness]], this [[silence]], is everywhere, pervades, all, is the very essence of the Holy Mountain.''' ... But this stillness, this silence, is far more than a mere absence of sound. It has a positive quiality, a quality of fullness, of plenitude, of the eternal Peace which is there reflected in the veil of the Mother of God, enshrouding and protecting her Holy Mountain, offering inner silence, peace of heart, to those who dwell there and to those who come with openness of heart to seek this blessing.
** Palmer, G. E. H. &quot;Silence over Athos.&quot; First published in the periodical ''Orthodox Life'' (Holy Trinity Russian Orthodox Monastery, Jordanville, NY) Nov.-Dec. 1968, p.33. Also quoted in: Ware, Kallistos. “Two British Pilgrims to the Holy Mountain: Gerald Palmer and Philip Sherrard.” In ''The Monastic Magnet: Roads to and from Mount Athos'', edited by René Gothóni and Graham Speake, 143–57. Oxford: Peter Lang. (pp. 150–51)

=== Nature ===
* Here every [[stone]] breathes [[prayer]]s.
** [[w:Nikon of Karoulia|Nikon of Karoulia]]. Quoted in: Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 180)

* There came to my mind an Athonite anecdote, typical of the monastic sense of humour, about an elder who was celebrating the pre-dawn service with his disciples. Disturbed by the noise of the nearby frogs, he went out of the chapel to remonstrate. ‘[[Frog]]s,’ he said, ‘we’ve just completed the [[w:Midnight office|Midnight Office]] and are starting [[w:Matins|Matins]]: would you mind keeping quiet until we’ve finished.’ Whereupon the frogs replied, ‘We’ve just completed Matins and are starting the [[w:Prime (liturgy)|First Hour]]: would you mind keeping quiet until we’ve finished.’
** [[w:Kallistos (Ware)|Kallistos Ware]]. Quoted in: Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 178)

* I have never actually seen [[wolf|wolves]] on Mount Athos, although in the past I have noted what I took to be their footprints in the sandy paths not far from the northern frontier of the monastic territory. No doubt they were observing me from the undergrowth nearby. The presence of wolves on the Mountain, at least as recently as the 1970s, always struck me as a reassuring sign. For wolves in their own way are [[hesychasm|hesychasts]], who dislike disturbance and noisy intrusion from human beings. So long as they continued to make their home on Athos, this was an indication that the Mountain remained still a place of silence and seclusion. Their disappearance troubles me.
** [[w:Kallistos (Ware)|Kallistos Ware]]. Quoted in: Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 177)

== See also ==
* [[Hilandar Monastery]]
* [[Joseph the Hesychast]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Wikivoyage}}

[[Category:Greece]]
[[Category:Monasticism]]
[[Category:Mountains]]
[[Category:Regions]]</text>
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'''[[w:Mount Athos|Mount Athos]]''' is a mountain and [[w:peninsula|peninsula]] in northeastern [[Greece]] and an important centre of [[w:Eastern Orthodoxy|Eastern Orthodox]] [[w:monasticism|monasticism]]. It is governed as an [[w:Territorial autonomy|autonomous polity]] within the Hellenic Republic, namely the [[w:monastic community of Mount Athos|monastic community of Mount Athos]] under the direct jurisdiction of the [[w:Ecumenical Patriarchate of Constantinople|Ecumenical Patriarch of Constantinople]].

== Quotes ==
* Given all the ways – both explicit and subtle – in which [[hesychasm]] is profoundly embroidered into the fabric of contemporary monasticism at the Holy Mountain, it is thus justified to conclude that '''not only is hesychasm Athonite, but Athos too is fundamentally hesychast'''.
** Dorobantu, Marius (2022). [https://www.academia.edu/81872913/Hesychasm_at_the_Holy_Mountain_Athos_is_Hesychast_and_Hesychasm_is_Athonite_chapter_in_the_forthcoming_Routledge_Handbook_of_Mount_Athos_Hesychasm Hesychasm at the Holy Mountain: Athos is Hesychast and Hesychasm is Athonite]. ''Routledge Handbook of Mount Athos''. London: Routledge.

* '''This [[hesychia|stillness]], this [[silence]], is everywhere, pervades, all, is the very essence of the Holy Mountain.''' ... But this stillness, this silence, is far more than a mere absence of sound. It has a positive quality, a quality of fullness, of plenitude, of the eternal Peace which is there reflected in the veil of the Mother of God, enshrouding and protecting her Holy Mountain, offering inner silence, peace of heart, to those who dwell there and to those who come with openness of heart to seek this blessing.
** Palmer, G. E. H. &quot;Silence over Athos.&quot; First published in the periodical ''Orthodox Life'' (Holy Trinity Russian Orthodox Monastery, Jordanville, NY) Nov.-Dec. 1968, p.33. Also quoted in: Ware, Kallistos. “Two British Pilgrims to the Holy Mountain: Gerald Palmer and Philip Sherrard.” In ''The Monastic Magnet: Roads to and from Mount Athos'', edited by René Gothóni and Graham Speake, 143–57. Oxford: Peter Lang. (pp. 150–51)

=== Nature ===
* Here every [[stone]] breathes [[prayer]]s.
** [[w:Nikon of Karoulia|Nikon of Karoulia]]. Quoted in: Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 180)

* There came to my mind an Athonite anecdote, typical of the monastic sense of humour, about an elder who was celebrating the pre-dawn service with his disciples. Disturbed by the noise of the nearby frogs, he went out of the chapel to remonstrate. ‘[[Frog]]s,’ he said, ‘we’ve just completed the [[w:Midnight office|Midnight Office]] and are starting [[w:Matins|Matins]]: would you mind keeping quiet until we’ve finished.’ Whereupon the frogs replied, ‘We’ve just completed Matins and are starting the [[w:Prime (liturgy)|First Hour]]: would you mind keeping quiet until we’ve finished.’
** [[w:Kallistos (Ware)|Kallistos Ware]]. Quoted in: Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 178)

* I have never actually seen [[wolf|wolves]] on Mount Athos, although in the past I have noted what I took to be their footprints in the sandy paths not far from the northern frontier of the monastic territory. No doubt they were observing me from the undergrowth nearby. The presence of wolves on the Mountain, at least as recently as the 1970s, always struck me as a reassuring sign. For wolves in their own way are [[hesychasm|hesychasts]], who dislike disturbance and noisy intrusion from human beings. So long as they continued to make their home on Athos, this was an indication that the Mountain remained still a place of silence and seclusion. Their disappearance troubles me.
** [[w:Kallistos (Ware)|Kallistos Ware]]. Quoted in: Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 177)

== See also ==
* [[Hilandar Monastery]]
* [[Joseph the Hesychast]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Wikivoyage}}

[[Category:Greece]]
[[Category:Monasticism]]
[[Category:Mountains]]
[[Category:Regions]]</text>
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'''[[w:Mount Athos|Mount Athos]]''' is a mountain and [[w:peninsula|peninsula]] in northeastern [[Greece]] and an important centre of [[w:Eastern Orthodoxy|Eastern Orthodox]] [[w:monasticism|monasticism]]. It is governed as an [[w:Territorial autonomy|autonomous polity]] within the Hellenic Republic, namely the [[w:monastic community of Mount Athos|monastic community of Mount Athos]] under the direct jurisdiction of the [[w:Ecumenical Patriarchate of Constantinople|Ecumenical Patriarch of Constantinople]].

== Quotes ==
* Given all the ways – both explicit and subtle – in which [[hesychasm]] is profoundly embroidered into the fabric of contemporary monasticism at the Holy Mountain, it is thus justified to conclude that '''not only is hesychasm Athonite, but Athos too is fundamentally hesychast'''.
** Dorobantu, Marius (2022). [https://www.academia.edu/81872913/Hesychasm_at_the_Holy_Mountain_Athos_is_Hesychast_and_Hesychasm_is_Athonite_chapter_in_the_forthcoming_Routledge_Handbook_of_Mount_Athos_Hesychasm Hesychasm at the Holy Mountain: Athos is Hesychast and Hesychasm is Athonite]. ''Routledge Handbook of Mount Athos''. London: Routledge.

* '''This [[hesychia|stillness]], this [[silence]], is everywhere, pervades, all, is the very essence of the Holy Mountain.''' ... But this stillness, this silence, is far more than a mere absence of sound. It has a positive quality, a quality of fullness, of plenitude, of the eternal Peace which is there reflected in the veil of the Mother of God, enshrouding and protecting her Holy Mountain, offering inner silence, peace of heart, to those who dwell there and to those who come with openness of heart to seek this blessing.
** Palmer, G. E. H. &quot;Silence over Athos.&quot; First published in the periodical ''Orthodox Life'' (Holy Trinity Russian Orthodox Monastery, Jordanville, NY) Nov.-Dec. 1968, p.33. Also quoted in: Ware, Kallistos. “Two British Pilgrims to the Holy Mountain: Gerald Palmer and Philip Sherrard.” In ''The Monastic Magnet: Roads to and from Mount Athos'', edited by René Gothóni and Graham Speake, 143–57. Oxford: Peter Lang. (pp. 150–51)

=== Nature ===
[[File:Autumn-deciduous forest.jpg|thumb|right|Here every [[stone]] breathes [[prayer]]s.]]
* Here every [[stone]] breathes [[prayer]]s.
** [[w:Nikon of Karoulia|Nikon of Karoulia]]. Quoted in: Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 180)

* There came to my mind an Athonite anecdote, typical of the monastic sense of humour, about an elder who was celebrating the pre-dawn service with his disciples. Disturbed by the noise of the nearby frogs, he went out of the chapel to remonstrate. ‘[[Frog]]s,’ he said, ‘we’ve just completed the [[w:Midnight office|Midnight Office]] and are starting [[w:Matins|Matins]]: would you mind keeping quiet until we’ve finished.’ Whereupon the frogs replied, ‘We’ve just completed Matins and are starting the [[w:Prime (liturgy)|First Hour]]: would you mind keeping quiet until we’ve finished.’
** [[w:Kallistos (Ware)|Kallistos Ware]]. Quoted in: Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 178)

* I have never actually seen [[wolf|wolves]] on Mount Athos, although in the past I have noted what I took to be their footprints in the sandy paths not far from the northern frontier of the monastic territory. No doubt they were observing me from the undergrowth nearby. The presence of wolves on the Mountain, at least as recently as the 1970s, always struck me as a reassuring sign. For wolves in their own way are [[hesychasm|hesychasts]], who dislike disturbance and noisy intrusion from human beings. So long as they continued to make their home on Athos, this was an indication that the Mountain remained still a place of silence and seclusion. Their disappearance troubles me.
** [[w:Kallistos (Ware)|Kallistos Ware]]. Quoted in: Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 177)

== See also ==
* [[Hilandar Monastery]]
* [[Joseph the Hesychast]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Wikivoyage}}

[[Category:Greece]]
[[Category:Monasticism]]
[[Category:Mountains]]
[[Category:Regions]]</text>
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      <text bytes="4585" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Mt. Athos (3939757657).jpg|thumb|A view of Mount Athos]]
'''[[w:Mount Athos|Mount Athos]]''' is a mountain and [[w:peninsula|peninsula]] in northeastern [[Greece]] and an important centre of [[w:Eastern Orthodoxy|Eastern Orthodox]] [[w:monasticism|monasticism]]. It is governed as an [[w:Territorial autonomy|autonomous polity]] within the Hellenic Republic, namely the [[w:monastic community of Mount Athos|monastic community of Mount Athos]] under the direct jurisdiction of the [[w:Ecumenical Patriarchate of Constantinople|Ecumenical Patriarch of Constantinople]].

== Quotes ==
* Given all the ways – both explicit and subtle – in which [[hesychasm]] is profoundly embroidered into the fabric of contemporary monasticism at the Holy Mountain, it is thus justified to conclude that '''not only is hesychasm Athonite, but Athos too is fundamentally hesychast'''.
** Dorobantu, Marius (2022). [https://www.academia.edu/81872913/Hesychasm_at_the_Holy_Mountain_Athos_is_Hesychast_and_Hesychasm_is_Athonite_chapter_in_the_forthcoming_Routledge_Handbook_of_Mount_Athos_Hesychasm Hesychasm at the Holy Mountain: Athos is Hesychast and Hesychasm is Athonite]. ''Routledge Handbook of Mount Athos''. London: Routledge.

* '''This [[hesychia|stillness]], this [[silence]], is everywhere, pervades, all, is the very essence of the Holy Mountain.''' ... But this stillness, this silence, is far more than a mere absence of sound. It has a positive quality, a quality of fullness, of plenitude, of the eternal Peace which is there reflected in the veil of the Mother of God, enshrouding and protecting her Holy Mountain, offering inner silence, peace of heart, to those who dwell there and to those who come with openness of heart to seek this blessing.
** Palmer, G. E. H. &quot;Silence over Athos.&quot; First published in the periodical ''Orthodox Life'' (Holy Trinity Russian Orthodox Monastery, Jordanville, NY) Nov.-Dec. 1968, p.33. Also quoted in: Ware, Kallistos. “Two British Pilgrims to the Holy Mountain: Gerald Palmer and Philip Sherrard.” In ''The Monastic Magnet: Roads to and from Mount Athos'', edited by René Gothóni and Graham Speake, 143–57. Oxford: Peter Lang. (pp. 150–51)

=== Nature ===
[[File:Autumn-deciduous forest.jpg|thumb|right|Here every [[stone]] breathes [[prayer]]s.]]
* Here every [[stone]] breathes [[prayer]]s.
** [[w:Nikon of Karoulia|Nikon of Karoulia]]. Quoted in: Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 180)

* There came to my mind an Athonite anecdote, typical of the monastic sense of humour, about an elder who was celebrating the pre-dawn service with his disciples. Disturbed by the noise of the nearby frogs, he went out of the chapel to remonstrate. ‘[[Frogs]],’ he said, ‘we’ve just completed the [[w:Midnight office|Midnight Office]] and are starting [[w:Matins|Matins]]: would you mind keeping quiet until we’ve finished.’ Whereupon the frogs replied, ‘We’ve just completed Matins and are starting the [[w:Prime (liturgy)|First Hour]]: would you mind keeping quiet until we’ve finished.’
** [[w:Kallistos (Ware)|Kallistos Ware]]. Quoted in: Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 178)

* I have never actually seen [[wolves]] on Mount Athos, although in the past I have noted what I took to be their footprints in the sandy paths not far from the northern frontier of the monastic territory. No doubt they were observing me from the undergrowth nearby. The presence of wolves on the Mountain, at least as recently as the 1970s, always struck me as a reassuring sign. For wolves in their own way are [[hesychasm|hesychasts]], who dislike disturbance and noisy intrusion from human beings. So long as they continued to make their home on Athos, this was an indication that the Mountain remained still a place of silence and seclusion. Their disappearance troubles me.
** [[w:Kallistos (Ware)|Kallistos Ware]]. Quoted in: Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 177)

== See also ==
* [[Hilandar Monastery]]
* [[Joseph the Hesychast]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Wikivoyage}}

[[Category:Greece]]
[[Category:Monasticism]]
[[Category:Mountains]]
[[Category:Regions]]</text>
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      <text bytes="4614" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Mt. Athos (3939757657).jpg|thumb|A view of Mount Athos]]
'''[[w:Mount Athos|Mount Athos]]''' is a mountain and [[w:peninsula|peninsula]] in northeastern [[Greece]] and an important centre of [[w:Eastern Orthodoxy|Eastern Orthodox]] [[w:monasticism|monasticism]]. It is governed as an [[w:Territorial autonomy|autonomous polity]] within the Hellenic Republic, namely the [[w:monastic community of Mount Athos|monastic community of Mount Athos]] under the direct jurisdiction of the [[w:Ecumenical Patriarchate of Constantinople|Ecumenical Patriarch of Constantinople]].

== Quotes ==
* Given all the ways – both explicit and subtle – in which [[hesychasm]] is profoundly embroidered into the fabric of contemporary monasticism at the Holy Mountain, it is thus justified to conclude that '''not only is hesychasm Athonite, but Athos too is fundamentally hesychast'''.
** Dorobantu, Marius (2022). [https://www.academia.edu/81872913/Hesychasm_at_the_Holy_Mountain_Athos_is_Hesychast_and_Hesychasm_is_Athonite_chapter_in_the_forthcoming_Routledge_Handbook_of_Mount_Athos_Hesychasm Hesychasm at the Holy Mountain: Athos is Hesychast and Hesychasm is Athonite]. ''Routledge Handbook of Mount Athos''. London: Routledge.

* '''This [[hesychia|stillness]], this [[silence]], is everywhere, pervades, all, is the very essence of the Holy Mountain.''' ... But this stillness, this silence, is far more than a mere absence of sound. It has a positive quality, a quality of fullness, of plenitude, of the eternal Peace which is there reflected in the veil of the Mother of God, enshrouding and protecting her Holy Mountain, offering inner silence, peace of heart, to those who dwell there and to those who come with openness of heart to seek this blessing.
** [[w:Gerald Palmer (author)|Palmer, G. E. H.]] &quot;Silence over Athos.&quot; First published in the periodical ''Orthodox Life'' (Holy Trinity Russian Orthodox Monastery, Jordanville, NY) Nov.-Dec. 1968, p.33. Also quoted in: Ware, Kallistos. “Two British Pilgrims to the Holy Mountain: Gerald Palmer and Philip Sherrard.” In ''The Monastic Magnet: Roads to and from Mount Athos'', edited by René Gothóni and Graham Speake, 143–57. Oxford: Peter Lang. (pp. 150–51)

=== Nature ===
[[File:Autumn-deciduous forest.jpg|thumb|right|Here every [[stone]] breathes [[prayer]]s.]]
* Here every [[stone]] breathes [[prayer]]s.
** [[w:Nikon of Karoulia|Nikon of Karoulia]]. Quoted in: Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 180)

* There came to my mind an Athonite anecdote, typical of the monastic sense of humour, about an elder who was celebrating the pre-dawn service with his disciples. Disturbed by the noise of the nearby frogs, he went out of the chapel to remonstrate. ‘[[Frogs]],’ he said, ‘we’ve just completed the [[w:Midnight office|Midnight Office]] and are starting [[w:Matins|Matins]]: would you mind keeping quiet until we’ve finished.’ Whereupon the frogs replied, ‘We’ve just completed Matins and are starting the [[w:Prime (liturgy)|First Hour]]: would you mind keeping quiet until we’ve finished.’
** [[w:Kallistos (Ware)|Kallistos Ware]]. Quoted in: Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 178)

* I have never actually seen [[wolves]] on Mount Athos, although in the past I have noted what I took to be their footprints in the sandy paths not far from the northern frontier of the monastic territory. No doubt they were observing me from the undergrowth nearby. The presence of wolves on the Mountain, at least as recently as the 1970s, always struck me as a reassuring sign. For wolves in their own way are [[hesychasm|hesychasts]], who dislike disturbance and noisy intrusion from human beings. So long as they continued to make their home on Athos, this was an indication that the Mountain remained still a place of silence and seclusion. Their disappearance troubles me.
** [[w:Kallistos (Ware)|Kallistos Ware]]. Quoted in: Speake, Graham; Ware, Kallistos (2012). ''Mount Athos: Microcosm of the Christian East''. Oxford: Lang, Peter, AG, Internationaler Verlag der Wissenschaften. ISBN 978-3-0353-0233-2. (p. 177)

== See also ==
* [[Hilandar Monastery]]
* [[Joseph the Hesychast]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Wikivoyage}}

[[Category:Greece]]
[[Category:Monasticism]]
[[Category:Mountains]]
[[Category:Regions]]</text>
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'''''{{W|Hamster &amp; Gretel}}''''' is an American animated television series that centers on a young girl and her pet hamster, who are given superpowers by aliens and become a superhero duo with her older brother working with them to figure out how to protect their city from mysterious dangers.

{{tv-stub}}

== Season 1 ==
=== ''Empower Failure'' [101a] ===
:'''Aliens''': We will now bestow upon you powers unimaginable!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Kevin''': Yep. This is my life.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Hamster''': Whatever. If anyone needs me, I'll be in my wheel. ''[flies off]''
:'''Gretel''': Wait, you can talk?

=== ''Oakey Dokey'' [101b] ===

=== ''Recipe for Disaster'' [102a] ===

=== ''Math Punch'' [102b] ===
:'''Gretel''': I'm a superhero now! You don't need math to lift things, fly through fast and punch bad guys!

=== ''Superhero Sibling Rivalry'' [103a] ===

=== ''Close Shave'' [103b] ===

=== ''Cheer Cheer Bang Bang'' [104a] ===

=== ''La Ballad of La Cebolla'' [104b] ===

== Cast ==
* Gretel Grant-Gomez (voiced by Meli Povenmire)
* Kevin Grant-Gomez (voiced by Michael Cimino)
* Hamster (voiced by Beck Bennett)
* Fred (voiced by Joey King)
* Dave Grant-Gomez (voiced by Matt Jones)
* Carolina Grant-Gomez (voiced by Carolina Ravassa)
* Bailey (voiced by Priah Ferguson)
* Veronica Hill (voiced by Liza Koshy)
* Lauren/The Destructress (voiced by Alyson Stoner)
* Lyle/FistPuncher (voiced by Brock Powell)
* Unseen alien (voiced by Dan Povenmire)

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title | id=13330286 | title=Hamster &amp; Gretel }}
[[Category:2020s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:Musical comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about teenagers]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about siblings]]
[[Category:TV shows about alien visitations]]
[[Category:Current shows]]
[[Category:Disney Channel shows]]
[[Category:Television series by Disney Television Animation]]</text>
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Siavash Shahsavari (Persian: سیاوش شهسواری He was born in October 10, 1987 in Qazvin Province is Iranian musician. better known by his stage name Siavash (Persian: سیاوش), is an Iran singer. Persian speaking world.pianist, violinist[2], guitarist who plays both Spanish and electric guitar, mandolin, harmonica, percussion, oud ,Kokhon ,Dulcimer.

When he was only 4 he was playing a handmade instrument which helped him realize his talent and capability to play the instrument. When he grew up, he chose the piano and violin as his main instrument at the Conservatory of Music. Siavash studied music in Vienna where he got his master's degree.
[[File:Siavash Shahsavari.jpg|thumb|IRNA news agency's interview with Siavash Shahsavari]]

* Music is an effective art that can make people feel very good and therefore, considering the spread of the Corona disease, we feel that this art can affect people's mood because it can change people's mood in any situation.
&lt;ref&gt;'''[https://www.irna.ir/news/84101992/%D9%BE%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%B2%D9%86%D8%A8%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%B9%D8%B3%D9%84-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%DB%B6%DB%B0-%D8%AB%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C%D9%87 IRNA news agency's interview with Siavash Shahsavari] IRNA NEWS'''&lt;/ref&gt;</text>
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&lt;!-- Do not use the &quot;dated prod&quot; template directly; the above line is generated by &quot;subst:prod|reason&quot; --&gt;
Siavash Shahsavari (Persian: سیاوش شهسواری He was born in October 10, 1987 in Qazvin Province is Iranian musician. better known by his stage name Siavash (Persian: سیاوش), is an Iran singer. Persian speaking world.pianist, violinist[2], guitarist who plays both Spanish and electric guitar, mandolin, harmonica, percussion, oud ,Kokhon ,Dulcimer.

When he was only 4 he was playing a handmade instrument which helped him realize his talent and capability to play the instrument. When he grew up, he chose the piano and violin as his main instrument at the Conservatory of Music. Siavash studied music in Vienna where he got his master's degree.
 

* Music is an effective art that can make people feel very good and therefore, considering the spread of the Corona disease, we feel that this art can affect people's mood because it can change people's mood in any situation.
&lt;ref&gt;'''[https://www.irna.ir/news/84101992/%D9%BE%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%B2%D9%86%D8%A8%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%B9%D8%B3%D9%84-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%DB%B6%DB%B0-%D8%AB%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C%D9%87 IRNA news agency's interview with Siavash Shahsavari] IRNA NEWS'''&lt;/ref&gt;</text>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-27T23:08:30Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>prod</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1369" xml:space="preserve">----{{dated prod|concern = No sourced quotes|month = August|day = 27|year = 2022|time = 23:08|timestamp = 20220827230828}}
&lt;!-- Do not use the &quot;dated prod&quot; template directly; the above line is generated by &quot;subst:prod|reason&quot; --&gt;
Quotes on '''The Abstract House''' (La Casa Astratta) in Viale Beatrice d'Este 24, in Milan.

* I consider that apartment building (''The Abstract House'') our (Mariani with [[Carlo Perogalli]] and the painter [[Mario Ballocco]] and [[Francesco Magnelli]]) the best result in this area: the idea was not to make the condominium &quot;disappear&quot;, but to see it as little as possible in a composition of only architectural elements coinciding with the structural parts of the house. We have thus created the abstract motif of the blue balconies, playing on the motif of color and on that of solids and voids. ([[Attilio Mariani]])
* The synthesis of the arts [...] is also notable for the strong chromatic component: the facade of the building (''The Abstract House'') has a white marble cladding and blue ceramic tiles [...]. The decoration is expressed both in the free composition and in the choice of colors on the facade. ([[Carlo Perogalli]])

== See also ==
* [[Architecture]]
* [[Civil engineering]]
* [[Palace]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Wiktionary|building}}

[[Category:Buildings and structures| ]]
[[Category:Engineering]]</text>
      <sha1>auxcxlyb9b33m8nsr07aisbec825btz</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158720</id>
      <parentid>3158707</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T01:09:54Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>31.190.252.156</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1642" xml:space="preserve">----{{dated prod|concern = No sourced quotes|month = August|day = 27|year = 2022|time = 23:08|timestamp = 20220827230828}}
&lt;!-- Do not use the &quot;dated prod&quot; template directly; the above line is generated by &quot;subst:prod|reason&quot; --&gt;
Quotes on '''The Abstract House''' (La Casa Astratta) in Viale Beatrice d'Este 24, in Milan.

* I consider that apartment building (''The Abstract House'') our (Mariani with [[Carlo Perogalli]] and the painter [[Mario Ballocco]] and [[Francesco Magnelli]]) the best result in this area: the idea was not to make the condominium &quot;disappear&quot;, but to see it as little as possible in a composition of only architectural elements coinciding with the structural parts of the house. We have thus created the abstract motif of the blue balconies, playing on the motif of color and on that of solids and voids&lt;ref&gt;Quote of Mariani, in [https://ordinearchitetti.mi.it/index.php/it/cultura/itinerari-di-architettura/14-arte-e-architettura/opere/320-casa-astratta]'', Ordine Architetti Milano, ''Casa Astratta'', Viale Beatrice d'Este 24, Claudio Camponogara, Elisabetta Dulbecco&lt;/ref&gt;. ([[Attilio Mariani]])
* The synthesis of the arts [...] is also notable for the strong chromatic component: the facade of the building (''The Abstract House'') has a white marble cladding and blue ceramic tiles [...]. The decoration is expressed both in the free composition and in the choice of colors on the facade. ([[Carlo Perogalli]])

== See also ==
* [[Architecture]]
* [[Civil engineering]]
* [[Palace]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Wiktionary|building}}

[[Category:Buildings and structures| ]]
[[Category:Engineering]]</text>
      <sha1>9txnphgx8du607iia74mt7xsduq95ul</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158722</id>
      <parentid>3158720</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T01:13:39Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>31.190.252.156</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1945" xml:space="preserve">----{{dated prod|concern = No sourced quotes|month = August|day = 27|year = 2022|time = 23:08|timestamp = 20220827230828}}
&lt;!-- Do not use the &quot;dated prod&quot; template directly; the above line is generated by &quot;subst:prod|reason&quot; --&gt;
Quotes on '''The Abstract House''' (La Casa Astratta) in Viale Beatrice d'Este 24, in Milan.

* I consider that apartment building (''The Abstract House'') our (Mariani with [[Carlo Perogalli]] and the painter [[Mario Ballocco]] and [[Francesco Magnelli]]) the best result in this area: the idea was not to make the condominium &quot;disappear&quot;, but to see it as little as possible in a composition of only architectural elements coinciding with the structural parts of the house. We have thus created the abstract motif of the blue balconies, playing on the motif of color and on that of solids and voids&lt;ref&gt;Quote of Mariani, in [https://ordinearchitetti.mi.it/index.php/it/cultura/itinerari-di-architettura/14-arte-e-architettura/opere/320-casa-astratta]'', Ordine Architetti Milano, ''Casa Astratta'', Viale Beatrice d'Este 24, Claudio Camponogara, Elisabetta Dulbecco&lt;/ref&gt;. ([[Attilio Mariani]])
* The synthesis of the arts [...] is also notable for the strong chromatic component: the facade of the building (''The Abstract House'') has a white marble cladding and blue ceramic tiles [...]. The decoration is expressed both in the free composition and in the choice of colors on the facade&lt;ref&gt;Quote of Perogalli, in [https://ordinearchitetti.mi.it/index.php/it/cultura/itinerari-di-architettura/14-arte-e-architettura/opere/320-casa-astratta]'', Ordine Architetti Milano, ''Casa Astratta'', Viale Beatrice d'Este 24, Claudio Camponogara, Elisabetta Dulbecco&lt;/ref&gt;. ([[Carlo Perogalli]])

== See also ==
* [[Architecture]]
* [[Civil engineering]]
* [[Palace]]

==References==
{{Reflist}}

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Wiktionary|building}}

[[Category:Buildings and structures| ]]
[[Category:Engineering]]</text>
      <sha1>lfvutnjv3ju7ol9rrlputfa2h875rkd</sha1>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Southeast Asia</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>250257</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158541</id>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T17:30:20Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>43.242.176.69</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot; Raza&quot;</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="5" xml:space="preserve">
Raza</text>
      <sha1>qp96j9ofrv5maq3e9utuaq1hgp9o8yt</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158543</id>
      <parentid>3158541</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T17:30:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Praxidicae</username>
        <id>2904950</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>delete</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="26" xml:space="preserve">{{delete|Vandalism}}

Raza</text>
      <sha1>75z1g9jmtikrshy80y3x1ihi1tvl2qe</sha1>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Template:Support</title>
    <ns>10</ns>
    <id>250258</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158548</id>
      <timestamp>2005-05-22T11:02:51Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>OldakQuill</username>
        <id>38999</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Start</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="13" xml:space="preserve">'''Support'''</text>
      <sha1>t8awedla42jbchwrxcnxwy2iimr7at9</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158549</id>
      <parentid>3158548</parentid>
      <timestamp>2005-06-18T09:56:12Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Norro</username>
        <id>2713169</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>+symbol</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="52" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Symbol support vote.png|15px]] '''Support'''</text>
      <sha1>qollicvenbtm7iiub62guzwwmhilns4</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158550</id>
      <parentid>3158549</parentid>
      <timestamp>2005-10-15T03:57:16Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Zscout370</username>
        <id>83367</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Image:Symbol support vote.svg</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="52" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Symbol support vote.svg|15px]] '''Support'''</text>
      <sha1>5fj95hfibhzawd16nr0fgk7f7fxj2c9</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158551</id>
      <parentid>3158550</parentid>
      <timestamp>2005-11-22T16:39:10Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>LoopZilla</username>
        <id>2176</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="52" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Symbol support vote.png|15px]] '''Support'''</text>
      <sha1>qollicvenbtm7iiub62guzwwmhilns4</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158552</id>
      <parentid>3158551</parentid>
      <timestamp>2005-12-30T06:02:04Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Zscout370</username>
        <id>83367</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>switching back to the SVG icon</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="52" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Symbol support vote.svg|15px]] '''Support'''</text>
      <sha1>5fj95hfibhzawd16nr0fgk7f7fxj2c9</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158553</id>
      <parentid>3158552</parentid>
      <timestamp>2006-02-01T10:38:45Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Grm wnr</username>
        <id>3130550</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>&lt;noinclude&gt;[[Category:Voting templates]]&lt;/noinclude&gt;</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="104" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Symbol support vote.svg|15px]] '''Support'''&lt;noinclude&gt;[[Category:Voting templates]]&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>46l4cbf6aujb9vbx71qqwlulzc56tej</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158554</id>
      <parentid>3158553</parentid>
      <timestamp>2006-02-09T02:51:27Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Bastique</username>
        <id>11295</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="113" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Symbol support vote.svg|15px]] '''Support'''&lt;noinclude&gt;[[Category:Polling templates|Support]]&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>sdfgk18b4eau0ubvtccjc36b2fvicld</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158555</id>
      <parentid>3158554</parentid>
      <timestamp>2006-06-29T19:12:10Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Seahen</username>
        <id>9212</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="100" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Gtk-ok.svg|18px]] '''Support'''&lt;noinclude&gt;[[Category:Polling templates|Support]]&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>1lhgenmmwwbycqnadlq2fmbn9048xcq</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158556</id>
      <parentid>3158555</parentid>
      <timestamp>2006-06-29T19:27:19Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Jon Harald Søby</username>
        <id>10534</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>the previopus symbol is too classic to be changed without discussion...</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="113" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Symbol support vote.svg|15px]] '''Support'''&lt;noinclude&gt;[[Category:Polling templates|Support]]&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>sdfgk18b4eau0ubvtccjc36b2fvicld</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158557</id>
      <parentid>3158556</parentid>
      <timestamp>2006-09-10T19:00:16Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>68.235.225.150</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>requested</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="120" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Symbol support vote.svg|15px]] '''Totally Oppose'''&lt;noinclude&gt;[[Category:Polling templates|Support]]&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>11x559x2nvojljas23r46c3ixbz7pef</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158558</id>
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      <timestamp>2006-09-10T19:01:28Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>67.81.69.219</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>rvv</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="113" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Symbol support vote.svg|15px]] '''Support'''&lt;noinclude&gt;[[Category:Polling templates|Support]]&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>sdfgk18b4eau0ubvtccjc36b2fvicld</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158559</id>
      <parentid>3158558</parentid>
      <timestamp>2006-09-11T03:17:54Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>CyberSkull</username>
        <id>4236</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>en</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="144" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Symbol support vote.svg|15px]] '''Support'''&lt;noinclude&gt;
[[Category:Polling templates|Support]]

[[en:Template:Vote support]]&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>mi69zdmnwyoebuoo3cvnpuigdijmtav</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158560</id>
      <parentid>3158559</parentid>
      <timestamp>2006-10-31T20:49:33Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Yuval CT</username>
        <id>11532</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>green color</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="183" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Symbol support vote.svg|15px]] '''&lt;span style=&quot;color: Darkgreen;&quot;&gt;Support&lt;/span&gt;'''&lt;noinclude&gt;
[[Category:Polling templates|Support]]

[[en:Template:Vote support]]&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>jz9u46apft6wuiksekt9va58zasy3io</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158561</id>
      <parentid>3158560</parentid>
      <timestamp>2006-11-03T15:05:09Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Yuval CT</username>
        <id>11532</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>restoring to black text...</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="144" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Symbol support vote.svg|15px]] '''Support'''&lt;noinclude&gt;
[[Category:Polling templates|Support]]

[[en:Template:Vote support]]&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>mi69zdmnwyoebuoo3cvnpuigdijmtav</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158562</id>
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      <contributor>
        <username>Leit</username>
        <id>59193</id>
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      <minor />
      <comment>Protected &quot;[[Template:Support]]&quot;: very important for the whole Commons project [edit=autoconfirmed:move=autoconfirmed]</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="144" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Symbol support vote.svg|15px]] '''Support'''&lt;noinclude&gt;
[[Category:Polling templates|Support]]

[[en:Template:Vote support]]&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>mi69zdmnwyoebuoo3cvnpuigdijmtav</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158563</id>
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      <timestamp>2007-03-20T20:48:10Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Shellabella17</username>
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      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="123" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Symbol support vote.SVG|15px]] '''Supported'''
[[Category:Polling templates|Support]]

[[en:Template:Vote support]]</text>
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      <contributor>
        <username>Bastique</username>
        <id>11295</id>
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      <minor />
      <comment>Reverted edits by [[Special:Contributions/Shellabella17|Shellabella17]] ([[User talk:Shellabella17|talk]]) to last version by Borheinsieg</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="144" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Symbol support vote.svg|15px]] '''Support'''&lt;noinclude&gt;
[[Category:Polling templates|Support]]

[[en:Template:Vote support]]&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>mi69zdmnwyoebuoo3cvnpuigdijmtav</sha1>
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      <contributor>
        <username>EVula</username>
        <id>7514</id>
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      <minor />
      <comment>related template on English Wikipedia has been deleted</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="114" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Symbol support vote.svg|15px]] '''Support'''&lt;noinclude&gt;
[[Category:Polling templates|Support]]&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>lu4msvpto2svvfahix7tvfno2r7tgcd</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158566</id>
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      <contributor>
        <username>A.Savin</username>
        <id>418829</id>
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      <minor />
      <comment>add nbsp</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="119" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Symbol support vote.svg|15px]]&amp;nbsp;'''Support'''&lt;noinclude&gt;
[[Category:Polling templates|Support]]&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>e5jyb8pw6o8ngy7fqa0w39z8hr4nn14</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158567</id>
      <parentid>3158566</parentid>
      <timestamp>2008-02-10T15:26:04Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>ABF</username>
        <id>31456</id>
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      <minor />
      <comment>Changed protection level for &quot;[[Template:Support]]&quot;: no reason to edit, used thousand of times [edit=sysop:move=sysop]</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="119" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Symbol support vote.svg|15px]]&amp;nbsp;'''Support'''&lt;noinclude&gt;
[[Category:Polling templates|Support]]&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>e5jyb8pw6o8ngy7fqa0w39z8hr4nn14</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158568</id>
      <parentid>3158567</parentid>
      <timestamp>2008-03-23T04:31:19Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rocket000</username>
        <id>36706</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>{{protected template}}</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="171" xml:space="preserve">&lt;noinclude&gt;{{protected template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;[[Image:Symbol support vote.svg|15px]]&amp;nbsp;'''Support'''&lt;noinclude&gt;

[[Category:Polling templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]
&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>okgtnc4iys5zq19bp3jzb3m31it4ju9</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158569</id>
      <parentid>3158568</parentid>
      <timestamp>2008-03-30T15:59:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rocket000</username>
        <id>36706</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>+ parameter to change text (per request)</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="179" xml:space="preserve">&lt;noinclude&gt;{{protected template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;[[Image:Symbol support vote.svg|15px]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|Support}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;

[[Category:Polling templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]
&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>eqowjmd13k1s1qw98oz0ekabxuy2qj4</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158570</id>
      <parentid>3158569</parentid>
      <timestamp>2008-07-30T17:20:17Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rocket000</username>
        <id>36706</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>- {{protected template}}</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="134" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Symbol support vote.svg|15px]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|Support}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;

[[Category:Polling templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]
&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>baoe0df9ob1nl47f5mq9wk94ksf1mmy</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158571</id>
      <parentid>3158570</parentid>
      <timestamp>2009-09-09T21:13:43Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>The Evil IP address</username>
        <id>74399</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>make icon de facto unclickable, there's no need to link to this image description page</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="139" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|Support}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;

[[Category:Polling templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]
&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>7paubgn0jh3iglel3a1rnhj4t7e5t7z</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158572</id>
      <parentid>3158571</parentid>
      <timestamp>2009-09-12T17:28:00Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Slomox</username>
        <id>34934</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>LangSwitch</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="186" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
| en = Support
| nds= Dor bün ik för
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;

[[Category:Polling templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]
&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>mozp1lpj1kc4wk5vmd4ob9be01wy4e9</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158573</id>
      <parentid>3158572</parentid>
      <timestamp>2009-09-12T17:42:36Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rocket000</username>
        <id>36706</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>please don't autotranslate these - they're used on pages that already have trouble with the number of transclusions and some prefer to see different languages</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="139" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|Support}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;

[[Category:Polling templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]
&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>7paubgn0jh3iglel3a1rnhj4t7e5t7z</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158574</id>
      <parentid>3158573</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-01-11T05:50:39Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rehman</username>
        <id>224060</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Cleanup</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="111" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|Support}}}'''
&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>6qx59hxv1sn2z8t7jov0uk73ovdpvdj</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158575</id>
      <parentid>3158574</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-01-11T05:58:33Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rehman</username>
        <id>224060</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>fix</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="110" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|Support}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>m8k2yicem4x7d6t5r2hkj2n6hbpf21c</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158576</id>
      <parentid>3158575</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-01-11T06:07:08Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Yann</username>
        <id>34761</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>broke FPC and VIC</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="139" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|Support}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;

[[Category:Polling templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]
&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>7paubgn0jh3iglel3a1rnhj4t7e5t7z</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158577</id>
      <parentid>3158576</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-01-11T07:39:51Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rehman</username>
        <id>224060</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>multilanguage support</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="130" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|en=Support
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>1596sfq1dww2oyu75yuh4tn8ad21gvt</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158578</id>
      <parentid>3158577</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-01-11T09:25:22Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rehman</username>
        <id>224060</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>from [[Template:A favor]]</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="146" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|en = Support
|es = A favor
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>qo8hdb3cf0fx3fa3mw24y5qmog3rzbk</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158579</id>
      <parentid>3158578</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-01-11T14:19:11Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rehman</username>
        <id>224060</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>+lang</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="212" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|be = Падтрымліваю
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fr = Pour
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>eami3xhpn86xemjl12wdy0wcgkni3z1</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158580</id>
      <parentid>3158579</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-01-11T14:26:51Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rehman</username>
        <id>224060</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>+lang</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="288" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|be = Падтрымліваю
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fr = Pour
|ga = Tacaíocht
|gl = Concordo
|pt = Concordo
|he = בעד
|is = Samþykkt
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>bbc6oozyh3j34f6f5v3nh2rgx5xjz94</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158581</id>
      <parentid>3158580</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-01-11T14:33:20Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rehman</username>
        <id>224060</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>+lang</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="340" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|be = Падтрымліваю
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fr = Pour
|ga = Tacaíocht
|gl = Concordo
|pt = Concordo
|he = בעד
|is = Samþykkt
|it = A favore
|ja = 支持
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>kqdv25vcbyhrq9cn7jhxs0ajtrs76sr</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158582</id>
      <parentid>3158581</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-01-11T14:39:33Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rehman</username>
        <id>224060</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>updating languages</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="440" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|be = Падтрымліваю
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fr = Pour
|ga = Tacaíocht
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|is = Samþykkt
|it = A favore
|ja = 支持
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|pt = Concordo
|ru = за
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>apvoctha45oxhs6hmg8zojrfdy49d2b</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158583</id>
      <parentid>3158582</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-01-12T13:58:28Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rehman</username>
        <id>224060</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>+ml</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="498" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|be = Падтрымліваю
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fr = Pour
|ga = Tacaíocht
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|is = Samþykkt
|it = A favore
|ja = 支持
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|pt = Concordo
|ru = за
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>6jjll9niz6onl4965s7e9bq6aw4ctcm</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158584</id>
      <parentid>3158583</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-01-17T19:56:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Trixt</username>
        <id>35878</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>it correction</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="500" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|be = Падтрымліваю
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fr = Pour
|ga = Tacaíocht
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 支持
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|pt = Concordo
|ru = за
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>p8qj988aol03p4sis4y3al9mjhsyl8v</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158585</id>
      <parentid>3158584</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-01-20T10:19:43Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rubin16</username>
        <id>39331</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>correcting ru</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="500" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|be = Падтрымліваю
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fr = Pour
|ga = Tacaíocht
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 支持
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|pt = Concordo
|ru = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>rydt7gyuf9bjg0hhacblnkxwutbua4c</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158586</id>
      <parentid>3158585</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-02-21T10:12:07Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rehman</username>
        <id>224060</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>+sr, per talk</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="511" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|be = Падтрымліваю
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fr = Pour
|ga = Tacaíocht
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 支持
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|pt = Concordo
|ru = За
|sr=  За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>qqxkgoe2xsf8j3lfydoh2euhdm6mv1d</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158587</id>
      <parentid>3158586</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-03-01T18:41:34Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Multichill</username>
        <id>18701</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="528" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|be = Падтрымліваю
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fr = Pour
|ga = Tacaíocht
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 支持
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|pt = Concordo
|ru = За
|sr=  За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>g2fhqzhq45wk9mtjkk8unpe44fnyw6i</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158588</id>
      <parentid>3158587</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-03-01T18:45:40Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Multichill</username>
        <id>18701</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="537" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|be = Падтрымліваю
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fr = Pour
|ga = Tacaíocht
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 支持
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|pt = Concordo
|ru = За
|sr=  За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>08o80jel5aor4arcbxmi2kx9vizrc4f</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158589</id>
      <parentid>3158588</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-03-06T15:47:42Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rehman</username>
        <id>224060</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>added fa, per talk</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="554" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|be = Падтрымліваю
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fa = حمایت
|fr = Pour
|ga = Tacaíocht
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 支持
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|pt = Concordo
|ru = За
|sr=  За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>4vuxx30khk3row2ki0rv072hzokf6l5</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158590</id>
      <parentid>3158589</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-03-09T04:21:27Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rehman</username>
        <id>224060</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>+sco</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="568" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|be = Падтрымліваю
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fa = حمایت
|fr = Pour
|ga = Tacaíocht
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 支持
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|pt = Concordo
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>qz9end9rmhqnflw4z5u08x11dnbj8qz</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158591</id>
      <parentid>3158590</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-04-26T16:42:49Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Jarekt</username>
        <id>38351</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>+pl</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="577" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|be = Падтрымліваю
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fa = حمایت
|fr = Pour
|ga = Tacaíocht
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 支持
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|pt = Concordo
|pl = Za
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>1trhurv7lbl4m1ajmovah7ghk2ut34s</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158592</id>
      <parentid>3158591</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-04-26T17:21:41Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Jarekt</username>
        <id>38351</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>add optional &quot;lang&quot; parameter</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="629" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|lang = {{#if:{{{lang|}}}|{{{lang}}}|{{int:Lang}}}}
|be = Падтрымліваю
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fa = حمایت
|fr = Pour
|ga = Tacaíocht
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 支持
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|pt = Concordo
|pl = Za
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>3a7xdqdn6klx4t2wxbzegzfvw56rpl7</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158593</id>
      <parentid>3158592</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-04-26T17:33:34Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Jarekt</username>
        <id>38351</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>+ an</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="644" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|lang = {{#if:{{{lang|}}}|{{{lang}}}|{{int:Lang}}}}
|an = Á fabor
|be = Падтрымліваю
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fa = حمایت
|fr = Pour
|ga = Tacaíocht
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 支持
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|pt = Concordo
|pl = Za
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>m9ypzkyqokjfxdh15nkc2flcbviybf1</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158594</id>
      <parentid>3158593</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-04-26T19:31:35Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Jarekt</username>
        <id>38351</id>
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      <comment>+nl</comment>
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|an = Á fabor
|be = Падтрымліваю
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|fa = حمایت
|fr = Pour
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|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|nl = Voor
|pt = Concordo
|pl = Za
|ru = За
|sco= Support
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|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
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      <sha1>nzxq17wdjqgjvqfp2wuhzg95cil3cu3</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158595</id>
      <parentid>3158594</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-04-26T19:41:01Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Jarekt</username>
        <id>38351</id>
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      <comment>+ar</comment>
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|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|nl = Voor
|pt = Concordo
|pl = Za
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|sv = Stödjer
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      <sha1>0yrctrh57nk7nfjn5yrmdqqmpd7codt</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158596</id>
      <parentid>3158595</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-06-15T15:31:42Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rehman</username>
        <id>224060</id>
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      <comment>+zh, +ja, +el</comment>
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|ka = მომხრე
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
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      <sha1>9xpvvfoy9q4w5hmux5i1sdc5zan0s0d</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158597</id>
      <parentid>3158596</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-07-22T19:22:13Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Jarekt</username>
        <id>38351</id>
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      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
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|no = For
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      <sha1>ienwannotliqkm4a1jebvz8khwjlgt1</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158598</id>
      <parentid>3158597</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-08-10T20:42:46Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Trijnstel</username>
        <id>283298</id>
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      <comment>Per request on [[Template talk:Support]] (oldid=57706160)</comment>
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      <text bytes="742" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
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|bs = Za
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|is = Samþykkt
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|ja = 賛成
|ka = მომხრე
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
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}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>sk49gnhq8f14tmlw05vd860vmycigx0</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158599</id>
      <parentid>3158598</parentid>
      <timestamp>2011-11-30T13:52:04Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Jarekt</username>
        <id>38351</id>
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      <comment>+fi</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="757" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
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|de = Pro
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|fa = حمایت
|fi = Kannatan
|fr = Pour
|ga = Tacaíocht
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 賛成
|ka = მომხრე
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|nl = Voor
|pt = Concordo
|pl = Za
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sl = Podpora
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
|zh = 支持
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>bua6w0x65dc2bkgw5le1g8nrduxydre</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158600</id>
      <parentid>3158599</parentid>
      <timestamp>2012-01-08T10:25:14Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>VIGNERON</username>
        <id>34845</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>+ br</comment>
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|it = Favorevole
|ja = 賛成
|ka = მომხრე
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|nl = Voor
|pt = Concordo
|pl = Za
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sl = Podpora
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
|zh = 支持
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>f0dcs43ysnn92ct5nmqsruehlqv17cz</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158601</id>
      <parentid>3158600</parentid>
      <timestamp>2012-03-31T04:05:32Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rd232</username>
        <id>2612</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Fulfilling [[Template:Editprotected|editprotected request]] by ZxxZxxZ. Thanks for helping!</comment>
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      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
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|fa = موافق
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}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>ognmxl94gbbnq4i903a7pez22m6rff3</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158602</id>
      <parentid>3158601</parentid>
      <timestamp>2012-04-09T20:06:00Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rd232</username>
        <id>2612</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Fulfilling [[Template:Editprotected|editprotected request]] by Eleassar. Thanks for helping!</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="770" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
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      <sha1>53wb00aiwc52dwfa7r921gn4vec8fdz</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158603</id>
      <parentid>3158602</parentid>
      <timestamp>2012-07-06T09:30:32Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rd232</username>
        <id>2612</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>|az = Lehinə from talk</comment>
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|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
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|tr = Destek
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}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>sqovargesg5rqjom4isfwcevq6kb83y</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158604</id>
      <parentid>3158603</parentid>
      <timestamp>2012-08-14T12:44:25Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rd232</username>
        <id>2612</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Fulfilling [[Template:Edit request|edit request]] by Firilacroco. Thanks for helping!</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="797" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
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|mk = За
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      <sha1>gagjxvvz01v7kx0pgazrj96td06v1dh</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158605</id>
      <parentid>3158604</parentid>
      <timestamp>2012-09-10T19:50:31Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Mormegil</username>
        <id>927</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>+cs</comment>
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|ka = მომხრე
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
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|pl = Za
|ro = Pentru
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sl = Podpiram.
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
|zh = 支持
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>ducodv2fftfwhmv9a6pct73mv3t63ri</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158606</id>
      <parentid>3158605</parentid>
      <timestamp>2012-10-10T22:55:31Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rd232</username>
        <id>2612</id>
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      <comment>per talk page edit request</comment>
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      <text bytes="801" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
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|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|nl = Voor
|pt = Concordo
|pl = Za
|ro = Pentru
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sl = Za.
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
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|zh = 支持
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      <sha1>jqxvak3o5i853vlhvihzqbetvk8pfqn</sha1>
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      <timestamp>2013-03-26T21:50:30Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Odder</username>
        <id>36037</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Fulfilling [[Template:Edit request|edit request]] by BáthoryPéter. Thanks for helping!</comment>
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      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="818" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|lang = {{#if:{{{lang|}}}|{{{lang}}}|{{int:Lang}}}}
|an = Á fabor
|ar = مع
|az = Lehinə
|be = Падтрымліваю
|br = A-du
|bs = Za
|cs = Pro
|el = Υπέρ
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fa = موافق
|fi = Kannatan
|fr = Pour
|ga = Tacaíocht
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|hu = Támogatom
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 賛成
|ka = მომხრე
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|nl = Voor
|pt = Concordo
|pl = Za
|ro = Pentru
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sl = Za.
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
|zh = 支持
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>kwyf4870d5fony783eaoc0ak37hr57a</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158608</id>
      <parentid>3158607</parentid>
      <timestamp>2013-04-05T20:14:53Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Odder</username>
        <id>36037</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Bengali translation</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="843" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|lang = {{#if:{{{lang|}}}|{{{lang}}}|{{int:Lang}}}}
|an = Á fabor
|ar = مع
|az = Lehinə
|be = Падтрымліваю
|bn = সমর্থন
|br = A-du
|bs = Za
|cs = Pro
|el = Υπέρ
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fa = موافق
|fi = Kannatan
|fr = Pour
|ga = Tacaíocht
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|hu = Támogatom
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 賛成
|ka = მომხრე
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|nl = Voor
|pt = Concordo
|pl = Za
|ro = Pentru
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sl = Za.
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
|zh = 支持
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>7ecljccxwr4rf4g8kkaanzfgi1utfd7</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158609</id>
      <parentid>3158608</parentid>
      <timestamp>2013-04-11T15:17:53Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Odder</username>
        <id>36037</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>+ hy translation</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="858" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|lang = {{#if:{{{lang|}}}|{{{lang}}}|{{int:Lang}}}}
|an = Á fabor
|ar = مع
|az = Lehinə
|be = Падтрымліваю
|bn = সমর্থন
|br = A-du
|bs = Za
|cs = Pro
|el = Υπέρ
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fa = موافق
|fi = Kannatan
|fr = Pour
|ga = Tacaíocht
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|hu = Támogatom
|hy = Կողմ
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 賛成
|ka = მომხრე
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|nl = Voor
|pt = Concordo
|pl = Za
|ro = Pentru
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sl = Za.
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
|zh = 支持
}}}}}'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>1s07ihvv3ru9bycz7qr9au3ye4h3a66</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158610</id>
      <parentid>3158609</parentid>
      <timestamp>2013-08-15T18:55:53Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Ebrahim</username>
        <id>268227</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Warping text on bdi tag (bidi isolation), will fix mixed RTL/LTR text problems</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="869" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;bdi&gt;{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|lang = {{#if:{{{lang|}}}|{{{lang}}}|{{int:Lang}}}}
|an = Á fabor
|ar = مع
|az = Lehinə
|be = Падтрымліваю
|bn = সমর্থন
|br = A-du
|bs = Za
|cs = Pro
|el = Υπέρ
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fa = موافق
|fi = Kannatan
|fr = Pour
|ga = Tacaíocht
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|hu = Támogatom
|hy = Կողմ
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 賛成
|ka = მომხრე
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|nl = Voor
|pt = Concordo
|pl = Za
|ro = Pentru
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sl = Za.
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
|zh = 支持
}}}}}&lt;/bdi&gt;'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>n1wmr9qydal2fz5u436tavyxb2ja86o</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158611</id>
      <parentid>3158610</parentid>
      <timestamp>2013-12-17T12:42:20Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Whym</username>
        <id>48111</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Fulfilling [[Template:Edit request|edit request]] by Prenn. Thanks for helping!</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="886" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;bdi&gt;{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|lang = {{#if:{{{lang|}}}|{{{lang}}}|{{int:Lang}}}}
|an = Á fabor
|ar = مع
|az = Lehinə
|be = Падтрымліваю
|bn = সমর্থন
|br = A-du
|bs = Za
|cs = Pro
|el = Υπέρ
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fa = موافق
|fi = Kannatan
|fr = Pour
|ga = Tacaíocht
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|hu = Támogatom
|hy = Կողմ
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 賛成
|ka = მომხრე
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|nl = Voor
|pt = Concordo
|pl = Za
|ro = Pentru
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sl = Za.
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
|vi = Đồng ý
|zh = 支持
}}}}}&lt;/bdi&gt;'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>pi52dh5w64ghebcmrsuzfs3t9teiva5</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158612</id>
      <parentid>3158611</parentid>
      <timestamp>2014-04-25T00:17:18Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Alison</username>
        <id>19792</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>ga - somewhat more correct / common</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="882" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;bdi&gt;{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|lang = {{#if:{{{lang|}}}|{{{lang}}}|{{int:Lang}}}}
|an = Á fabor
|ar = مع
|az = Lehinə
|be = Падтрымліваю
|bn = সমর্থন
|br = A-du
|bs = Za
|cs = Pro
|el = Υπέρ
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fa = موافق
|fi = Kannatan
|fr = Pour
|ga = Ar son
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|hu = Támogatom
|hy = Կողմ
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 賛成
|ka = მომხრე
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|nl = Voor
|pt = Concordo
|pl = Za
|ro = Pentru
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sl = Za.
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
|vi = Đồng ý
|zh = 支持
}}}}}&lt;/bdi&gt;'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>dif2uqxn7v26iae9r5mfbs9qfft5z01</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158613</id>
      <parentid>3158612</parentid>
      <timestamp>2014-07-14T19:06:44Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rillke</username>
        <id>268171</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Fulfilling [[Template:Edit request|edit request]] by [[User:Arystanbek|Arystanbek]]. Thanks for helping!</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="907" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;bdi&gt;{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|lang = {{#if:{{{lang|}}}|{{{lang}}}|{{int:Lang}}}}
|an = Á fabor
|ar = مع
|az = Lehinə
|be = Падтрымліваю
|bn = সমর্থন
|br = A-du
|bs = Za
|cs = Pro
|el = Υπέρ
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fa = موافق
|fi = Kannatan
|fr = Pour
|ga = Ar son
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|hu = Támogatom
|hy = Կողմ
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 賛成
|ka = მომხრე
|kk = Қолдаймын
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|nl = Voor
|pt = Concordo
|pl = Za
|ro = Pentru
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sl = Za.
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
|vi = Đồng ý
|zh = 支持
}}}}}&lt;/bdi&gt;'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>mj1am1x92rb5en5jaipgj6v6gq9p3ei</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158614</id>
      <parentid>3158613</parentid>
      <timestamp>2014-07-14T19:10:04Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Rillke</username>
        <id>268171</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>[[Special:Diff/127518976|Request by संजीव कुमार]]</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="932" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;bdi&gt;{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|lang = {{#if:{{{lang|}}}|{{{lang}}}|{{int:Lang}}}}
|an = Á fabor
|ar = مع
|az = Lehinə
|be = Падтрымліваю
|bn = সমর্থন
|br = A-du
|bs = Za
|cs = Pro
|el = Υπέρ
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fa = موافق
|fi = Kannatan
|fr = Pour
|ga = Ar son
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|hi = समर्थन
|hu = Támogatom
|hy = Կողմ
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 賛成
|ka = მომხრე
|kk = Қолдаймын
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|nl = Voor
|pt = Concordo
|pl = Za
|ro = Pentru
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sl = Za.
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
|vi = Đồng ý
|zh = 支持
}}}}}&lt;/bdi&gt;'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>huhxtwinm5d1vathie20o7eoxpfsjd2</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158615</id>
      <parentid>3158614</parentid>
      <timestamp>2014-09-21T14:45:40Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Jarekt</username>
        <id>38351</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>correct vi version</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="932" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;bdi&gt;{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|lang = {{#if:{{{lang|}}}|{{{lang}}}|{{int:Lang}}}}
|an = Á fabor
|ar = مع
|az = Lehinə
|be = Падтрымліваю
|bn = সমর্থন
|br = A-du
|bs = Za
|cs = Pro
|el = Υπέρ
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fa = موافق
|fi = Kannatan
|fr = Pour
|ga = Ar son
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|hi = समर्थन
|hu = Támogatom
|hy = Կողմ
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 賛成
|ka = მომხრე
|kk = Қолдаймын
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|nl = Voor
|pt = Concordo
|pl = Za
|ro = Pentru
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sl = Za.
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
|vi = Ủng hộ
|zh = 支持
}}}}}&lt;/bdi&gt;'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>c06e7c77jca4mjwbuptzja7o3881av1</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158616</id>
      <parentid>3158615</parentid>
      <timestamp>2015-04-06T22:09:48Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Romaine</username>
        <id>37365</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>+fy</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="943" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;bdi&gt;{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|lang = {{#if:{{{lang|}}}|{{{lang}}}|{{int:Lang}}}}
|an = Á fabor
|ar = مع
|az = Lehinə
|be = Падтрымліваю
|bn = সমর্থন
|br = A-du
|bs = Za
|cs = Pro
|el = Υπέρ
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fa = موافق
|fi = Kannatan
|fr = Pour
|fy = Foar
|ga = Ar son
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|hi = समर्थन
|hu = Támogatom
|hy = Կողմ
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 賛成
|ka = მომხრე
|kk = Қолдаймын
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|nl = Voor
|pt = Concordo
|pl = Za
|ro = Pentru
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sl = Za.
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tr = Destek
|vi = Ủng hộ
|zh = 支持
}}}}}&lt;/bdi&gt;'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>6jo5877w0fi0ap4oau9rf1rkcj3wdso</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158617</id>
      <parentid>3158616</parentid>
      <timestamp>2015-10-26T13:11:20Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Zhuyifei1999</username>
        <id>821249</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Fulfilling [[Template:Edit request|edit request]] by [[User:Pokéfan95|Pokéfan95]]. Thanks for helping! (tl translation)</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="959" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;bdi&gt;{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|lang = {{#if:{{{lang|}}}|{{{lang}}}|{{int:Lang}}}}
|an = Á fabor
|ar = مع
|az = Lehinə
|be = Падтрымліваю
|bn = সমর্থন
|br = A-du
|bs = Za
|cs = Pro
|el = Υπέρ
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fa = موافق
|fi = Kannatan
|fr = Pour
|fy = Foar
|ga = Ar son
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|hi = समर्थन
|hu = Támogatom
|hy = Կողմ
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 賛成
|ka = მომხრე
|kk = Қолдаймын
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|nl = Voor
|pt = Concordo
|pl = Za
|ro = Pentru
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sl = Za.
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tl = Suportado
|tr = Destek
|vi = Ủng hộ
|zh = 支持
}}}}}&lt;/bdi&gt;'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>2e46jx4raacjcuo3e5rpaocq8t22sj8</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158618</id>
      <parentid>3158617</parentid>
      <timestamp>2016-06-04T03:14:04Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Hedwig in Washington</username>
        <id>434930</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Fulfilling [[Template:Edit request|edit request]] by [[User:Olsi|Olsi]]. Thanks for helping!</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="970" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;bdi&gt;{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|lang = {{#if:{{{lang|}}}|{{{lang}}}|{{int:Lang}}}}
|an = Á fabor
|ar = مع
|az = Lehinə
|be = Падтрымліваю
|bn = সমর্থন
|br = A-du
|bs = Za
|cs = Pro
|el = Υπέρ
|en = Support
|es = A favor
|de = Pro
|eo = Subteno
|fa = موافق
|fi = Kannatan
|fr = Pour
|fy = Foar
|ga = Ar son
|gl = Concordo
|he = בעד
|hi = समर्थन
|hu = Támogatom
|hy = Կողմ
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 賛成
|ka = მომხრე
|kk = Қолдаймын
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|nl = Voor
|pt = Concordo
|pl = Za
|ro = Pentru
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sl = Za.
|sq = Për
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tl = Suportado
|tr = Destek
|vi = Ủng hộ
|zh = 支持
}}}}}&lt;/bdi&gt;'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158619</id>
      <parentid>3158618</parentid>
      <timestamp>2016-12-19T20:17:43Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Hedwig in Washington</username>
        <id>434930</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Fulfilling [[Template:Edit request|edit request]] by [[User:Ninjastrikers|Ninjastrikers]]. Thanks for helping!</comment>
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|lang = {{#if:{{{lang|}}}|{{{lang}}}|{{int:Lang}}}}
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    <revision>
      <id>3158620</id>
      <parentid>3158619</parentid>
      <timestamp>2017-04-02T03:09:41Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Jdx</username>
        <id>759101</id>
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      <minor />
      <comment>Fulfilling [[Template:Edit request|edit request]] by [[User:MaGa|MaGa]]. Thanks for helping!</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
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|no = For
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|ru = За
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}}}}}&lt;/bdi&gt;'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>29a4n3sc51beqlscnlh3w0gzhdoxm5m</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158621</id>
      <parentid>3158620</parentid>
      <timestamp>2017-04-25T09:49:28Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Steinsplitter</username>
        <id>536694</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Fulfilling [[Template:Edit request|edit request]]</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
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}}}}}&lt;/bdi&gt;'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>qp5ixj05oiiadnskh5jdgb23q73lcvv</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158622</id>
      <parentid>3158621</parentid>
      <timestamp>2017-05-25T17:15:16Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Hedwig in Washington</username>
        <id>434930</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Fulfilling [[Template:Edit request|edit request]] by [[User:Ата|Ата]]. Thanks for helping!</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1029" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;bdi&gt;{{{1|{{LangSwitch
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|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|my = ထောက်ခံ
|no = For
|nb = For
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|ru = За
|sco= Support
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}}}}}&lt;/bdi&gt;'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158623</id>
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      <timestamp>2017-09-29T12:02:44Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Jarekt</username>
        <id>38351</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>zh -&gt; zh-hans</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1034" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;bdi&gt;{{{1|{{LangSwitch
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|eu = Alde
|fa = موافق
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|fy = Foar
|ga = Ar son
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|hy = Կողմ
|is = Samþykkt
|it = Favorevole
|ja = 賛成
|ka = მომხრე
|kk = Қолдаймын
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|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|my = ထောက်ခံ
|no = For
|nb = For
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|pl = Za
|ro = Pentru
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sl = Za.
|sq = Për
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tl = Suportado
|tr = Destek
|uk = За
|vi = Ủng hộ
|zh-hans = 支持
}}}}}&lt;/bdi&gt;'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>cenjh9ye5m53kixi6po33ojluqikdys</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158624</id>
      <parentid>3158623</parentid>
      <timestamp>2019-11-27T07:11:05Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~riley</username>
        <id>433343</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Changed protection level for &quot;[[Template:Support]]&quot;: [[Commons:Protection policy|Widely used template]] ([Edit=Allow only template editors and administrators] (indefinite) [Move=Allow only template editors and administrators] (indefinite))</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1034" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;bdi&gt;{{{1|{{LangSwitch
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|ka = მომხრე
|kk = Қолдаймын
|ko = 찬성
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|my = ထောက်ခံ
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|nl = Voor
|pt = Concordo
|pl = Za
|ro = Pentru
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sl = Za.
|sq = Për
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tl = Suportado
|tr = Destek
|uk = За
|vi = Ủng hộ
|zh-hans = 支持
}}}}}&lt;/bdi&gt;'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>cenjh9ye5m53kixi6po33ojluqikdys</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158625</id>
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      <timestamp>2020-09-18T15:57:00Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>CptViraj</username>
        <id>3018182</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>+ gu</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1059" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;bdi&gt;{{{1|{{LangSwitch
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|ja = 賛成
|ka = მომხრე
|kk = Қолдаймын
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|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|my = ထောက်ခံ
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
|nl = Voor
|pt = Concordo
|pl = Za
|ro = Pentru
|ru = За
|sco= Support
|sl = Za.
|sq = Për
|sr = За
|sv = Stödjer
|th = เห็นด้วย
|tl = Suportado
|tr = Destek
|uk = За
|vi = Ủng hộ
|zh-hans = 支持
}}}}}&lt;/bdi&gt;'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
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    <revision>
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      <timestamp>2021-05-16T18:24:11Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Lucas Werkmeister</username>
        <id>2947354</id>
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      <comment>fulfilling edit request by [[User:YavBav09]] – Bulgarian translation</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1070" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;bdi&gt;{{{1|{{LangSwitch
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|vi = Ủng hộ
|zh-hans = 支持
}}}}}&lt;/bdi&gt;'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
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      <contributor>
        <username>Michel Bakni</username>
        <id>2907578</id>
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      <model>wikitext</model>
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      <text bytes="1107" xml:space="preserve">&lt;div dir={{Dir|{{int:lang}} }}&gt;[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;bdi&gt;{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|lang = {{#if:{{{lang|}}}|{{{lang}}}|{{int:Lang}}}}
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      <timestamp>2021-07-24T10:45:57Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Michel Bakni</username>
        <id>2907578</id>
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      <model>wikitext</model>
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      <id>3158629</id>
      <parentid>3158628</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-03-29T04:35:36Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>TKsdik8900</username>
        <id>3055432</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Translated into traditional Chinese</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1088" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;bdi&gt;{{{1|{{LangSwitch
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|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|my = ထောက်ခံ
|no = For
|nb = For
|nn = For
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|pl = Za
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|vi = Ủng hộ
|zh-hans = 支持
|zh-hant = 支持
}}}}}&lt;/bdi&gt;'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>2dn8voqwp2hycmqthi4t381tyhqmmgb</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158630</id>
      <parentid>3158629</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-06-17T02:13:17Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Liuxinyu970226</username>
        <id>766634</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>re-sort</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1121" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;bdi&gt;{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|lang = {{#if:{{{lang|}}}|{{{lang}}}|{{int:Lang}}}}
|an = Á fabor
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|be = Падтрымліваю
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|gu = સમર્થન
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|hr = Za
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|hy = Կողմ
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|ka = მომხრე
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|lzh = 可也
|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|my = ထောက်ခံ
|nan = Chàn-sêng
|nb = For
|nl = Voor
|nn = For
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|sco= Support
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|vi = Ủng hộ
|zh-hans = 支持
|zh-hant = 支持
}}}}}&lt;/bdi&gt;'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>nty7jbub0jjejmd1sxd8sx34per218k</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158631</id>
      <parentid>3158630</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-24T12:56:58Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>TKsdik8900</username>
        <id>3055432</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Fulfilling the edit request ([[Template talk:Support#MS translation]]) by [[User:26 Ramadan|26 Ramadan]]</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1134" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;bdi&gt;{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|lang = {{#if:{{{lang|}}}|{{{lang}}}|{{int:Lang}}}}
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|mk = За
|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|ms = Sokong
|my = ထောက်ခံ
|nan = Chàn-sêng
|nb = For
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|zh-hans = 支持
|zh-hant = 支持
}}}}}&lt;/bdi&gt;'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>mb635n3my0p06y03tquabsrnoksujzh</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3158632</id>
      <parentid>3158631</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T17:51:58Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Koavf</username>
        <id>6765</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>84 revisions imported from [[:commons:Template:Support]]</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1134" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;bdi&gt;{{{1|{{LangSwitch
|lang = {{#if:{{{lang|}}}|{{{lang}}}|{{int:Lang}}}}
|an = Á fabor
|ar = مع
|az = Lehinə
|be = Падтрымліваю
|bg = За
|bn = সমর্থন
|br = A-du
|bs = Za
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|en = Support
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|es = A favor
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|ml = പിന്തുണയ്ക്കുന്നു
|ms = Sokong
|my = ထောက်ခံ
|nan = Chàn-sêng
|nb = For
|nl = Voor
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|zh-hans = 支持
|zh-hant = 支持
}}}}}&lt;/bdi&gt;'''&lt;noinclude&gt;{{Documentation|Template:Polling template}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>mb635n3my0p06y03tquabsrnoksujzh</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158634</id>
      <parentid>3158632</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T17:52:51Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Koavf</username>
        <id>6765</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Replaced content with &quot;[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;''' Support'''&lt;noinclude&gt;[[Category:Icon templates]]&lt;/noinclude&gt;&quot;</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="113" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Symbol support vote.svg|15px|link=]]&amp;nbsp;''' Support'''&lt;noinclude&gt;[[Category:Icon templates]]&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Politicks</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>250259</id>
    <redirect title="Politics" />
    <revision>
      <id>3158640</id>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T18:01:14Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>JesseW</username>
        <id>103587</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Redirected page to [[Politics]]</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="22" xml:space="preserve">#REDIRECT [[politics]]</text>
      <sha1>1b4en411jgaaws2w6iz0ycysq9gmje8</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Musick</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>250260</id>
    <redirect title="Music" />
    <revision>
      <id>3158641</id>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T18:01:21Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>JesseW</username>
        <id>103587</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Redirected page to [[Music]]</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="19" xml:space="preserve">#REDIRECT [[music]]</text>
      <sha1>fvn6z8r9u8k57k8s517no4e8mbb4jgi</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 14</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>250261</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158670</id>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T19:57:46Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2600:1005:B018:2AD3:59F:605E:29DD:3397</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot;{{italic title}} ---- :'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4|4]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] SpongeBob SquarePants/S...&quot;</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1507" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4|4]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] '''13''' [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 14|14]]([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie|a movie]], followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==

===''Got Lagooned (1.1)''===

===''TBA (1.2)''===

==Episode 2==

===''Another Pizza Delivery (2.1)''===

===''Mrs. Puff And The Sea Bears (2.2)''===

==Episode 3==

===''Hot And Cold (3.1)''===

===''Miss Act (3.2)''===

==Episode 4==

===''TBA (4.1)''===

===''TBA (4.2)''===</text>
      <sha1>o8l7m8gkiuhgdc4bhiu71956g7lng23</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158672</id>
      <parentid>3158670</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T19:58:58Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2600:1005:B018:2AD3:59F:605E:29DD:3397</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1511" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4|4]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 13|13]] '''''14'''''([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie|a movie]], followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==

===''Got Lagooned (1.1)''===

===''TBA (1.2)''===

==Episode 2==

===''Another Pizza Delivery (2.1)''===

===''Mrs. Puff And The Sea Bears (2.2)''===

==Episode 3==

===''Hot And Cold (3.1)''===

===''Miss Act (3.2)''===

==Episode 4==

===''TBA (4.1)''===

===''TBA (4.2)''===</text>
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    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>User talk:Ilovemydoodle</title>
    <ns>3</ns>
    <id>250263</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158694</id>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T22:37:44Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Ilovemydoodle</username>
        <id>3120156</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Ilovemydoodle moved page [[User talk:Ilovemydoodle]] to [[User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 2]]: Archiving</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="56" xml:space="preserve">#REDIRECT [[User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Archives/Archive 2]]</text>
      <sha1>mo48ic6vntt4rxmz3cp016t59bb4ipj</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3158697</id>
      <parentid>3158694</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-27T22:40:02Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Ilovemydoodle</username>
        <id>3120156</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>New</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="97" xml:space="preserve">{{Talkheader}}
{{User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Template:Archive}}

= Settings =

{{/cs}}

= Questions =</text>
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    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Wikiquote:Quote of the day/August 28, 2022</title>
    <ns>4</ns>
    <id>250264</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158715</id>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T00:19:13Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot;{| style=&quot;background: {{{color}}}&quot; | align=center | [[File:Goethe (Stieler 1828).jpg|292px]] | align=center | &amp;nbsp; | align=center | {{quote of the day | quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; [[Behaviour]] is a [[mirror]] in which everyone shows his image. | author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe }} | align=center | &amp;nbsp; | align=center | [[File:La Vérité sortant du Puits, E. Debat-Ponsan, 1898, Musée Hôtel Morin (retouched) (cropped).jpg|222px]] |}&quot;</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="447" xml:space="preserve">{| style=&quot;background: {{{color}}}&quot;
| align=center | [[File:Goethe (Stieler 1828).jpg|292px]]
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | {{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; [[Behaviour]] is a [[mirror]] in which everyone shows his image.
| author = Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
}}
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | [[File:La Vérité sortant du Puits, E. Debat-Ponsan, 1898, Musée Hôtel Morin (retouched) (cropped).jpg|222px]]
|}</text>
      <sha1>1l0s633l6sc9xtl78ogc7wm5aty3gcu</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Michele Di Ruberto</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>250265</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158719</id>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T00:45:05Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Gilldragon</username>
        <id>2514030</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot;'''[[w:Michele Di Ruberto|]]''' (28 August 1934 –) is an Italian prelate of the Roman Catholic Church who served as Secretary of the [[w:Congregation for the Causes of Saints|]].  == Quotes ==    * No matter how well-founded the claim, and the work seriously and carefully done, it could still be subject to possible error. We can always make a mistake, we can always deceive ourselves, whereas God alone performs miracles, and God does not deceive. ** [http://www.30giorni...&quot;</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="760" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Michele Di Ruberto|Michele Di Ruberto]]''' (28 August 1934 –) is an Italian prelate of the Roman Catholic Church who served as Secretary of the [[w:Congregation for the Causes of Saints|Congregation for the Causes of Saints]].

== Quotes ==  

* No matter how well-founded the claim, and the work seriously and carefully done, it could still be subject to possible error. We can always make a mistake, we can always deceive ourselves, whereas God alone performs miracles, and God does not deceive.
** [http://www.30giorni.it/articoli_id_3664_l3.htm The necessity of miracles (2004) ''30 Days'']

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Di Ruberto, Michele}} 
[[Category:1934 births]]
[[Category:Italian Catholics]]
[[Category:Living people]]</text>
      <sha1>bsgzkn4drjeyc5ohcrittjude07bord</sha1>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Henry Scott Tuke</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>250266</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3158731</id>
      <timestamp>2022-08-28T01:44:04Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>AC9016</username>
        <id>2870313</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Creating Wikiquote page for Henry Scott Tuke with an initial set of two quotes by Tuke, and two quotes about him.</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3205" xml:space="preserve">[[File:HenryScottTuke.jpg|thumb|As a matter of personal taste, I much prefer working in the open to the close air of a room.]]
Henry Scott Tuke (12 June 1858 – 13 March 1929), was an English visual artist; primarily a painter, but also a photographer. His most notable work was in the Impressionist style, and he is best known for his paintings of nude boys and young men.

== Quotes ==

=== ''The Studio'' magazine interview (1895) ===
* At the first time I took up the subject... it seemed to open up fresh vistas and certainly gave new interest to the study of the undraped figure to depict it with pure daylight upon it, instead of the artificial light of the studio. Besides as a matter of personal taste, I much prefer working in the open to the close air of a room.
** ''Henry Scott Tuke'' (New Haven: Yale University Press), p. 76

* But I always return to my first opinion, that the truth and beauty of flesh in sunlight by the sea, is offered to you in a way impossible to secure in pictures built up from hasty sketches, at leisure, in one's studio. Because however much you may work indoors afterwards, whatever you add is with the outdoor impression upon you.
** ''Henry Scott Tuke'' (New Haven: Yale University Press), p. 76

== Quotes about Tuke ==

* Famously, the models all said in later life that Tuke never exploited them or made untoward suggestions; unlike his friend Charles Masson Fox, Tyke was never accused of sexual impropriety in his relations with boys and young men.
** Cicely Robinson, Henry Scott Tuke, p. 131

* As one ''Tatler'' critic recognised when praising Henry Scott Tuke as '''par excellence'' the painter of youth', the depiction of naked youths bathing or sitting on Cornish beaches looking contemplatively out to sea played an important part in Tuke's artistic success. However, these paintings elicted a range of different readings and conflicting interpretations from Tuke's viewers, some of which detected a sexualized approach on the artist's part to the unclothed adolescent male body, while many others did not.
** Andrew Stephenson (contributing author), ''Henry Scott Tuke'' (New Haven: Yale University Press) by Cicely Robinson (editor), p. 75

* By examining the physical attributes, poses and symbolisms of the naked youths that modelled for Tuke and were depicted in his key works, I argue that certain iconographic differences and pictoral correspondences were familiar to some of Tuke's viewers. This would have been due to their knowledge of classical precedents for representing the youthful male nude and through their exposure to erotic photographic images of naked youths in the open air that encouraged them to infer sexual intent. Yet for other audience, these sexualised associations remained elusive, as they approached the subject of youthful male nudes in landscape settings differently through the conventions of English pastoralism or by seeing the work as making reference to an updated visual language of neoclassicism gaining currency and critical support in British art from the 1860s onwards.
** Andrew Stephenson (contributing author), ''Henry Scott Tuke'' (New Haven: Yale University Press) by Cicely Robinson (editor), p. 75</text>
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Henry Scott Tuke (12 June 1858 – 13 March 1929), was an English visual artist; primarily a painter, but also a photographer. His most notable work was in the Impressionist style, and he is best known for his paintings of nude boys and young men.

== Quotes ==

=== ''The Studio'' magazine interview (1895) ===
* At the first time I took up the subject... it seemed to open up fresh vistas and certainly gave new interest to the study of the undraped figure to depict it with pure daylight upon it, instead of the artificial light of the studio. Besides as a matter of personal taste, I much prefer working in the open to the close air of a room.
** ''Henry Scott Tuke'' (New Haven: Yale University Press) by Cicely Robinson (editor), p. 76

* But I always return to my first opinion, that the truth and beauty of flesh in sunlight by the sea, is offered to you in a way impossible to secure in pictures built up from hasty sketches, at leisure, in one's studio. Because however much you may work indoors afterwards, whatever you add is with the outdoor impression upon you.
** ''Henry Scott Tuke'' (New Haven: Yale University Press) by Cicely Robinson (editor), p. 76

== Quotes about Tuke ==

* Famously, the models all said in later life that Tuke never exploited them or made untoward suggestions; unlike his friend Charles Masson Fox, Tyke was never accused of sexual impropriety in his relations with boys and young men.
** Cicely Robinson, Henry Scott Tuke, p. 131

* As one ''Tatler'' critic recognised when praising Henry Scott Tuke as '''par excellence'' the painter of youth', the depiction of naked youths bathing or sitting on Cornish beaches looking contemplatively out to sea played an important part in Tuke's artistic success. However, these paintings elicted a range of different readings and conflicting interpretations from Tuke's viewers, some of which detected a sexualized approach on the artist's part to the unclothed adolescent male body, while many others did not.
** Andrew Stephenson (contributing author), ''Henry Scott Tuke'' (New Haven: Yale University Press) by Cicely Robinson (editor), p. 75

* By examining the physical attributes, poses and symbolisms of the naked youths that modelled for Tuke and were depicted in his key works, I argue that certain iconographic differences and pictoral correspondences were familiar to some of Tuke's viewers. This would have been due to their knowledge of classical precedents for representing the youthful male nude and through their exposure to erotic photographic images of naked youths in the open air that encouraged them to infer sexual intent. Yet for other audience, these sexualised associations remained elusive, as they approached the subject of youthful male nudes in landscape settings differently through the conventions of English pastoralism or by seeing the work as making reference to an updated visual language of neoclassicism gaining currency and critical support in British art from the 1860s onwards.
** Andrew Stephenson (contributing author), ''Henry Scott Tuke'' (New Haven: Yale University Press) by Cicely Robinson (editor), p. 75</text>
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'''Henry Scott Tuke''' (12 June 1858 – 13 March 1929), was an English visual artist; primarily a painter, but also a photographer. His most notable work was in the Impressionist style, and he is best known for his paintings of nude boys and young men.

== Quotes ==

=== ''The Studio'' magazine interview (1895) ===
* At the first time I took up the subject... it seemed to open up fresh vistas and certainly gave new interest to the study of the undraped figure to depict it with pure daylight upon it, instead of the artificial light of the studio. Besides as a matter of personal taste, I much prefer working in the open to the close air of a room.
** ''Henry Scott Tuke'' (New Haven: Yale University Press) by Cicely Robinson (editor), p. 76

* But I always return to my first opinion, that the truth and beauty of flesh in sunlight by the sea, is offered to you in a way impossible to secure in pictures built up from hasty sketches, at leisure, in one's studio. Because however much you may work indoors afterwards, whatever you add is with the outdoor impression upon you.
** ''Henry Scott Tuke'' (New Haven: Yale University Press) by Cicely Robinson (editor), p. 76

== Quotes about Tuke ==

* Famously, the models all said in later life that Tuke never exploited them or made untoward suggestions; unlike his friend Charles Masson Fox, Tyke was never accused of sexual impropriety in his relations with boys and young men.
** Cicely Robinson, Henry Scott Tuke, p. 131

* As one ''Tatler'' critic recognised when praising Henry Scott Tuke as '''par excellence'' the painter of youth', the depiction of naked youths bathing or sitting on Cornish beaches looking contemplatively out to sea played an important part in Tuke's artistic success. However, these paintings elicted a range of different readings and conflicting interpretations from Tuke's viewers, some of which detected a sexualized approach on the artist's part to the unclothed adolescent male body, while many others did not.
** Andrew Stephenson (contributing author), ''Henry Scott Tuke'' (New Haven: Yale University Press) by Cicely Robinson (editor), p. 75

* By examining the physical attributes, poses and symbolisms of the naked youths that modelled for Tuke and were depicted in his key works, I argue that certain iconographic differences and pictoral correspondences were familiar to some of Tuke's viewers. This would have been due to their knowledge of classical precedents for representing the youthful male nude and through their exposure to erotic photographic images of naked youths in the open air that encouraged them to infer sexual intent. Yet for other audience, these sexualised associations remained elusive, as they approached the subject of youthful male nudes in landscape settings differently through the conventions of English pastoralism or by seeing the work as making reference to an updated visual language of neoclassicism gaining currency and critical support in British art from the 1860s onwards.
** Andrew Stephenson (contributing author), ''Henry Scott Tuke'' (New Haven: Yale University Press) by Cicely Robinson (editor), p. 75</text>
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'''[[wikipedia:Henry Scott Tuke|Henry Scott Tuke]]''' (12 June 1858 – 13 March 1929), was an English visual artist; primarily a painter, but also a photographer. His most notable work was in the Impressionist style, and he is best known for his paintings of nude boys and young men.

== Quotes ==

=== ''The Studio'' magazine interview (1895) ===
* At the first time I took up the subject... it seemed to open up fresh vistas and certainly gave new interest to the study of the undraped figure to depict it with pure daylight upon it, instead of the artificial light of the studio. Besides as a matter of personal taste, I much prefer working in the open to the close air of a room.
** ''Henry Scott Tuke'' (New Haven: Yale University Press) by Cicely Robinson (editor), p. 76

* But I always return to my first opinion, that the truth and beauty of flesh in sunlight by the sea, is offered to you in a way impossible to secure in pictures built up from hasty sketches, at leisure, in one's studio. Because however much you may work indoors afterwards, whatever you add is with the outdoor impression upon you.
** ''Henry Scott Tuke'' (New Haven: Yale University Press) by Cicely Robinson (editor), p. 76

== Quotes about Tuke ==

* Famously, the models all said in later life that Tuke never exploited them or made untoward suggestions; unlike his friend Charles Masson Fox, Tyke was never accused of sexual impropriety in his relations with boys and young men.
** Cicely Robinson, Henry Scott Tuke, p. 131

* As one ''Tatler'' critic recognised when praising Henry Scott Tuke as '''par excellence'' the painter of youth', the depiction of naked youths bathing or sitting on Cornish beaches looking contemplatively out to sea played an important part in Tuke's artistic success. However, these paintings elicted a range of different readings and conflicting interpretations from Tuke's viewers, some of which detected a sexualized approach on the artist's part to the unclothed adolescent male body, while many others did not.
** Andrew Stephenson (contributing author), ''Henry Scott Tuke'' (New Haven: Yale University Press) by Cicely Robinson (editor), p. 75

* By examining the physical attributes, poses and symbolisms of the naked youths that modelled for Tuke and were depicted in his key works, I argue that certain iconographic differences and pictoral correspondences were familiar to some of Tuke's viewers. This would have been due to their knowledge of classical precedents for representing the youthful male nude and through their exposure to erotic photographic images of naked youths in the open air that encouraged them to infer sexual intent. Yet for other audience, these sexualised associations remained elusive, as they approached the subject of youthful male nudes in landscape settings differently through the conventions of English pastoralism or by seeing the work as making reference to an updated visual language of neoclassicism gaining currency and critical support in British art from the 1860s onwards.
** Andrew Stephenson (contributing author), ''Henry Scott Tuke'' (New Haven: Yale University Press) by Cicely Robinson (editor), p. 75
[[Category:1858 births]]</text>
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'''[[wikipedia:Henry Scott Tuke|Henry Scott Tuke]]''' (12 June 1858 – 13 March 1929), was an English visual artist; primarily a painter, but also a photographer. His most notable work was in the Impressionist style, and he is best known for his paintings of nude boys and young men.

== Quotes ==

=== ''The Studio'' magazine interview (1895) ===
* At the first time I took up the subject... it seemed to open up fresh vistas and certainly gave new interest to the study of the undraped figure to depict it with pure daylight upon it, instead of the artificial light of the studio. Besides as a matter of personal taste, I much prefer working in the open to the close air of a room.
** ''Henry Scott Tuke'' (New Haven: Yale University Press) by Cicely Robinson (editor), p. 76

* But I always return to my first opinion, that the truth and beauty of flesh in sunlight by the sea, is offered to you in a way impossible to secure in pictures built up from hasty sketches, at leisure, in one's studio. Because however much you may work indoors afterwards, whatever you add is with the outdoor impression upon you.
** ''Henry Scott Tuke'' (New Haven: Yale University Press) by Cicely Robinson (editor), p. 76

== Quotes about Tuke ==

* Famously, the models all said in later life that Tuke never exploited them or made untoward suggestions; unlike his friend Charles Masson Fox, Tyke was never accused of sexual impropriety in his relations with boys and young men.
** Cicely Robinson, Henry Scott Tuke, p. 131

* As one ''Tatler'' critic recognised when praising Henry Scott Tuke as '''par excellence'' the painter of youth', the depiction of naked youths bathing or sitting on Cornish beaches looking contemplatively out to sea played an important part in Tuke's artistic success. However, these paintings elicted a range of different readings and conflicting interpretations from Tuke's viewers, some of which detected a sexualized approach on the artist's part to the unclothed adolescent male body, while many others did not.
** Andrew Stephenson (contributing author), ''Henry Scott Tuke'' (New Haven: Yale University Press) by Cicely Robinson (editor), p. 75

* By examining the physical attributes, poses and symbolisms of the naked youths that modelled for Tuke and were depicted in his key works, I argue that certain iconographic differences and pictoral correspondences were familiar to some of Tuke's viewers. This would have been due to their knowledge of classical precedents for representing the youthful male nude and through their exposure to erotic photographic images of naked youths in the open air that encouraged them to infer sexual intent. Yet for other audience, these sexualised associations remained elusive, as they approached the subject of youthful male nudes in landscape settings differently through the conventions of English pastoralism or by seeing the work as making reference to an updated visual language of neoclassicism gaining currency and critical support in British art from the 1860s onwards.
** Andrew Stephenson (contributing author), ''Henry Scott Tuke'' (New Haven: Yale University Press) by Cicely Robinson (editor), p. 75
[[Category:1858 births]]
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Wow Wow Wubbzy</text>
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      <comment>Created page with &quot;'''[[w:Chas Newkey-Burden|Charles Philip Newkey Burden]]''' (born June [[1973]]) is a British journalist and author.  {{journalist-stub}} == Quotes == * Photographs of industrial rows of cramped pens, each imprisoning a solitary [[Calves|calf]], will shock those who still believe in the fairytale of the pastoral dairy farm … In reality, the daily practices of most dairy farms are more distressing than those of meat production. A mother [[cow]] only produces [[milk]] wh...&quot;</comment>
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      <text bytes="3565" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Chas Newkey-Burden|Charles Philip Newkey Burden]]''' (born June [[1973]]) is a British journalist and author.

{{journalist-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* Photographs of industrial rows of cramped pens, each imprisoning a solitary [[Calves|calf]], will shock those who still believe in the fairytale of the pastoral dairy farm … In reality, the daily practices of most dairy farms are more distressing than those of meat production. A mother [[cow]] only produces [[milk]] when she gets pregnant. So, starting from the age of 15 months, she will usually be artificially inseminated.  … When she gives birth, her calf will typically be removed within 36 hours … Following that callous separation, the mother will bellow and scream for days, wondering where her baby is. The answer depends on the gender of the calf. If male, he will probably either be shot and tossed into a bin, or sold to be raised for veal, which delays his death by just a matter of months. But if the calf is female, she will usually be prepared for her own entry into dairy production, where she will face the same cycle of hell that her mother is trapped in … Dairy is proving to be a vulnerable spot for the entire slaughter racket. The public is steadily waking up to the fact that the reality of milk production is not a matter of trivial imperfections, of concern only to idealist vegans, but in fact the most dark and wicked part of all farming. And delicious, non-dairy milk, cheese and dessert alternatives are now widely available, so as people learn the truth it is easy for them to ditch dairy for good.
** [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/mar/30/dairy-scary-public-farming-calves-pens-alternatives &quot;Dairy is scary. The public are waking up to the darkest part of farming&quot;], {{w|TheGuardian.com}} (30 March 2017).

* If you can’t go [[Veganism|vegan]] for the animals, why not go vegan for yourself? By switching to a plant-based diet, you won’t just help save animals’ lives, you might just save the planet. The meat and dairy industries kill 70bn animals every year – and a new report has found that they are on track to become the world’s biggest contributors to [[climate change]]. … Eventually, a tipping point will come, and the planet will turn into a gigantic slaughterhouse. It won’t be just calves and piglets these industries are killing – it will be you, your children and the children they could have gone on to raise. … So each time you eat bacon, or drink milk, you have not only invested in the slaughter of pigs or the abuse of cows, you’ve signed your own death warrant. For this is a problem that is predicted to escalate in the coming decades and emissions for agriculture are projected to increase 80% by 2050. In the 1980s, people started saying ‘meat is murder’, but it could become even worse than that – meat could mean Armageddon. …  The environmental impact of animal farming is clear, so be the change you want to see and stop eating meat and dairy.
** [https://metro.co.uk/2018/07/18/meat-isnt-just-murder-its-armageddon-why-you-should-become-vegan-now-7732198/ &quot;Meat isn’t just murder, it could mean Armageddon: Why you should become vegan now&quot;], [[w:Metro (British newspaper)|Metro.co.uk]] (18 July 2018).

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia-inline}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Newkey-Burden, Chas}}
[[Category:1973 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Journalists from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:LGBT people]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:Veganism activists]]</text>
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      <text bytes="3442" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Chas Newkey-Burden|Charles Philip Newkey Burden]]''' (born June [[1973]]) is a British journalist and author.

{{journalist-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* Photographs of industrial rows of cramped pens, each imprisoning a solitary [[Calves|calf]], will shock those who still believe in the fairytale of the pastoral dairy farm … In reality, the daily practices of most dairy farms are more distressing than those of meat production. A mother [[cow]] only produces [[milk]] when she gets pregnant. So, starting from the age of 15 months, she will usually be artificially inseminated.  … When she gives birth, her calf will typically be removed within 36 hours … Following that callous separation, the mother will bellow and scream for days, wondering where her baby is. The answer depends on the gender of the calf. If male, he will probably either be shot and tossed into a bin, or sold to be raised for veal, which delays his death by just a matter of months. But if the calf is female, she will usually be prepared for her own entry into dairy production, where she will face the same cycle of hell that her mother is trapped in … Dairy is proving to be a vulnerable spot for the entire slaughter racket. The public is steadily waking up to the fact that the reality of milk production is not a matter of trivial imperfections, of concern only to idealist vegans, but in fact the most dark and wicked part of all farming. And delicious, non-dairy milk, cheese and dessert alternatives are now widely available, so as people learn the truth it is easy for them to ditch dairy for good.
** [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/mar/30/dairy-scary-public-farming-calves-pens-alternatives &quot;Dairy is scary. The public are waking up to the darkest part of farming&quot;], {{w|TheGuardian.com}} (30 March 2017).

* If you can’t go [[Veganism|vegan]] for the animals, why not go vegan for yourself? By switching to a plant-based diet, you won’t just help save animals’ lives, you might just save the planet. The meat and dairy industries kill 70bn animals every year – and a new report has found that they are on track to become the world’s biggest contributors to [[climate change]]. … Eventually, a tipping point will come, and the planet will turn into a gigantic slaughterhouse. It won’t be just calves and piglets these industries are killing – it will be you, your children and the children they could have gone on to raise. … So each time you eat bacon, or drink milk, you have not only invested in the slaughter of pigs or the abuse of cows, you’ve signed your own death warrant. For this is a problem that is predicted to escalate in the coming decades and emissions for agriculture are projected to increase 80% by 2050. In the 1980s, people started saying ‘meat is murder’, but it could become even worse than that – meat could mean Armageddon.
** [https://metro.co.uk/2018/07/18/meat-isnt-just-murder-its-armageddon-why-you-should-become-vegan-now-7732198/ &quot;Meat isn’t just murder, it could mean Armageddon: Why you should become vegan now&quot;], [[w:Metro (British newspaper)|Metro.co.uk]] (18 July 2018).

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia-inline}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Newkey-Burden, Chas}}
[[Category:1973 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Journalists from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:LGBT people]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:Veganism activists]]</text>
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      <text bytes="3278" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Chas Newkey-Burden|Charles Philip Newkey Burden]]''' (born June [[1973]]) is a British journalist and author.

{{journalist-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* Photographs of industrial rows of cramped pens, each imprisoning a solitary [[Calves|calf]], will shock those who still believe in the fairytale of the pastoral dairy farm … In reality, the daily practices of most dairy farms are more distressing than those of meat production. A mother [[cow]] only produces [[milk]] when she gets pregnant. So, starting from the age of 15 months, she will usually be artificially inseminated. … When she gives birth, her calf will typically be removed within 36 hours … Following that callous separation, the mother will bellow and scream for days, wondering where her baby is. The answer depends on the gender of the calf. If male, he will probably either be shot and tossed into a bin, or sold to be raised for veal, which delays his death by just a matter of months. But if the calf is female, she will usually be prepared for her own entry into dairy production, where she will face the same cycle of hell that her mother is trapped in … Dairy is proving to be a vulnerable spot for the entire slaughter racket. The public is steadily waking up to the fact that the reality of milk production is not a matter of trivial imperfections, of concern only to idealist vegans, but in fact the most dark and wicked part of all farming.
** [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/mar/30/dairy-scary-public-farming-calves-pens-alternatives &quot;Dairy is scary. The public are waking up to the darkest part of farming&quot;], {{w|TheGuardian.com}} (30 March 2017).

* If you can’t go [[Veganism|vegan]] for the animals, why not go vegan for yourself? By switching to a plant-based diet, you won’t just help save animals’ lives, you might just save the planet. The meat and dairy industries kill 70bn animals every year – and a new report has found that they are on track to become the world’s biggest contributors to [[climate change]]. … Eventually, a tipping point will come, and the planet will turn into a gigantic slaughterhouse. It won’t be just calves and piglets these industries are killing – it will be you, your children and the children they could have gone on to raise. … So each time you eat bacon, or drink milk, you have not only invested in the slaughter of pigs or the abuse of cows, you’ve signed your own death warrant. For this is a problem that is predicted to escalate in the coming decades and emissions for agriculture are projected to increase 80% by 2050. In the 1980s, people started saying ‘meat is murder’, but it could become even worse than that – meat could mean Armageddon.
** [https://metro.co.uk/2018/07/18/meat-isnt-just-murder-its-armageddon-why-you-should-become-vegan-now-7732198/ &quot;Meat isn’t just murder, it could mean Armageddon: Why you should become vegan now&quot;], [[w:Metro (British newspaper)|Metro.co.uk]] (18 July 2018).

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia-inline}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Newkey-Burden, Chas}}
[[Category:1973 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Journalists from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:LGBT people]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:Veganism activists]]</text>
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      <comment>Created page with &quot;[[File:Gennady_Zyuganov_Moscow_asv2018-01_(cropped).jpg|thumb|Gennady Zyuganov]] '''[[w:Gennady Zyuganov|Gennady Andreyevich Zyuganov]]''' ('''Russian''': Геннадий Андреевич Зюганов) (born [[26 June]] [[1944]]) is a Russian politician, who has been the General Secretary of the [[w:Communist Party of the Russian Federation|Communist Party of the Russian Federation]] and served as Member of the [[w:State Duma|State Duma]] since 1993. He is also the...&quot;</comment>
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      <text bytes="15454" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Gennady_Zyuganov_Moscow_asv2018-01_(cropped).jpg|thumb|Gennady Zyuganov]]
'''[[w:Gennady Zyuganov|Gennady Andreyevich Zyuganov]]''' ('''Russian''': Геннадий Андреевич Зюганов) (born [[26 June]] [[1944]]) is a Russian politician, who has been the General Secretary of the [[w:Communist Party of the Russian Federation|Communist Party of the Russian Federation]] and served as Member of the [[w:State Duma|State Duma]] since 1993. He is also the Chair of the [[w:Union of Communist Parties – Communist Party of the Soviet Union|Union of Communist Parties – Communist Party of the Soviet Union]] (UCP-CPSU) since 2001 and a member of the Parliamentary Assembly of the Council of Europe since 1996. He ran for President of Russia [[w:Electoral history of Gennady Zyuganov|four times]], most notably in [[w:Gennady Zyuganov 1996 presidential campaign|1996]], when he controversially lost in the second round to [[Boris Yeltsin]].

==Quotes==
*Christ was the new era's first Communist. He lifted his voice in support of the impoverished, sick, and hungry, as well as everyone else in distress, and he would have joined us if he had been alive.
**[https://www.wionews.com/world/christ-was-first-communist-would-have-joined-us-russian-marxist-leader-zyuganov-410535 &quot;Christ was first Communist, would have joined us: Russian Marxist leader Zyuganov&quot; in ''WION''] (3 September 2021)

*Put Jesus' Sermon on the Mount and the Moral Code of the Builder of Communism next to each other, and you will just gasp.
**[https://www.republicworld.com/world-news/europe/russian-cp-leader-gennady-zyuganov-creates-stir-with-christ-was-first-communist-remark.html &quot;Russian CP Leader Gennady Zyuganov Creates Stir With 'Christ Was First Communist' Remark&quot; in ''Republic''] (4 September 2021)

* The Belarusian people are prudent enough to make the right choice. You have been moving in the right direction all these years. Yes, there have been difficulties, problems. Crises affected your hard-working country, too, but you have gone through them with fewer losses
**[https://eng.belta.by/opinions/view/belarusian-people-are-wise-to-make-the-right-choice-6058/ &quot;Belarusian people are wise to make the right choice&quot; in ''Belta''] (3 August 2010)

*Yes, Russia has interests concerning the former Soviet republics on its borders, including Ukraine. These are the interests of peace and good neighborliness, a calm and dignified life for citizens, economic development, and cultural cooperation.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*Meanwhile, the West has demonstrated its readiness to rely on the most reactionary circles to pursue its interests.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*We firmly know that the peoples of Russia and Ukraine do not want a war. Such a war would also run counter to the fundamental interests of Europe. But the ruling powers of the United States appear to want it.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*Washington has been defeated in every war in recent decades. Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan are just some of the countries in which the United States has unleashed wars and ingloriously lost. This time, its leaders are eager to fight by proxy in Ukraine. The Washington “hawks” have set out to turn Ukrainians into cannon fodder. Political cover, the supply of weapons, the activities of Western military instructors—all this openly pushes the authorities in Kiev toward a bloody military adventure.'
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*We must, by all means, breathe into the hearts of the inhabitants of multinational Ukraine the readiness to resist the dangerous games of the Western powers and their henchmen in Kiev. The time has come to rise together to thwart their vile and dangerous plans.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*The powerful in their suits and ties are targeting not only Russia and Ukraine but also Europe. The United States insists on tough sanctions against our country, habitually using the “Ukrainian card.” At the same time, they are launching a new stage in the struggle against their competitor, the European Union. The U.S. has extremely low trade with Russia, but Europe has broad and profitable trade and economic ties with our country. A military conflict with Russia would allow Washington to drive European countries into new, economically-destructive sanctions.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*U.S. imperialists’ task is not to protect Ukraine, but to crawl out of the acute crisis of capitalism. It is extremely important for them to score new profits by torpedoing the Nord Stream 2 gas pipeline [between Germany and Russia] and hooking the EU economy on the needle of expensive liquefied natural gas from the U.S. This is part of the true rationale behind the current military crisis in Ukraine.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*Russia is finally moving away from the pernicious idolatry of the West…. It’s time to show our character in the Donbass. We are surrounded by a chain of unfriendly states. It is impossible to retreat further. The West must feel Russia’s determination to defend itself and its friends.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*The cause of peace on our planet will always be under threat as long as the supporters of aggression have their hands on the sword. The time has come to fulfill the mission Russians know all too well by experience and firmly say “no” to any international war.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*Combining the national-patriotic idea and the idea of social justice is one of the main tasks facing this country.
**[https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/inatl/longterm/russvote/trends/west/west3.htm &quot;Russian Communist Chief Broadcasts a Mixed Message&quot; in ''The Washington Post''] (10 April 1996)

*Our nation is being deprived of our very last asset: our fatherland. Look what is happening to our elders, those who fought all the way from Stalingrad to Berlin. . .. Look at how these white-haired veterans are humiliated, how their banners are defiled,
**[https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/inatl/longterm/russvote/trends/west/west3.htm &quot;Russian Communist Chief Broadcasts a Mixed Message&quot; in ''The Washington Post''] (10 April 1996)

*Science says if the annual per capita consumption of alcohol exceeds eight liters [2.1 gallons], the nation starts to degenerate genetically. The average consumption in Russia now amounts to 15 to 20 liters.
**[https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/inatl/longterm/russvote/trends/west/west3.htm &quot;Russian Communist Chief Broadcasts a Mixed Message&quot; in ''The Washington Post''] (10 April 1996)

*Two hundred billion dollars, your money. If it sat in our banks making 6 to 8 percent in interest, it would bring $12 billion in annual profits. There is no need to borrow.
**[https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/inatl/longterm/russvote/trends/west/west3.htm &quot;Russian Communist Chief Broadcasts a Mixed Message&quot; in ''The Washington Post''] (10 April 1996)

*The oligarchs who ruined the people know better than others that a new economic collapse is rapidly approaching. In order to stay in power, they decided to deceive you one more time by choosing an early election before the truth comes out.
**[https://www.rferl.org/a/1093557.html &quot;Russia: Communist Zyuganov -- Opposing The Oligarchs&quot; in ''RFE/RL''] (3 March 2000)

*Last time, when fascism and Nazism engulfed the whole of Europe, mankind paid the cost of 71 million lives, 27 million of which were the lives of the best sons and daughters of the great Soviet homeland.
**[http://en.kremlin.ru/events/president/news/68836 &quot;Meeting with State Duma leaders and party faction heads&quot; in ''Kremlin.ru''] (7 July 2022)

*On the international arena the time has come to launch a decisive political offensive against any attempts at rehabilitation of Fascism. On the international arena the Russian authorities should use all the influence our country has at international organizations to that end. In mounting anti-Fascist and anti-war movements, we propose to use the whole arsenal of bi-lateral and multi-lateral interaction with other countries, and make wide use of parliamentary and people diplomacy.
**[https://cprf.ru/2022/02/gennady-zyuganov-it-is-time-to-put-a-stop-to-natos-actions-to-turn-ukraine-into-a-fascist-state/ &quot;Gennady Zyuganov: It Is Time To Put A Stop To Nato’s Actions To Turn Ukraine Into A Fascist State&quot;] (21 February 2022)

*In the majority of countries today the communists are struggling opposition parties. They are in the vanguard of the resistance to the anti-people policies of big capital governments. The coronavirus pandemic merely made more evident the cannibalistic essence of the bourgeois system. Millions of people across the world have become victims of criminal “optimization” of social rights, lack of access to healthcare and mass lay-offs.
**[https://cprf.ru/2021/06/the-light-of-the-paris-commune/ &quot;The Light Of The Paris Commune&quot;] (11 June 2021)

*Seventy-five years ago our fathers, grandfathers and great grandfathers upheld the freedom and independence of the Soviet Motherland, ensured clear skies above it, and confidence of tomorrow. We, the heirs to the victorious soldiers, are called upon to defend the truth about the Great Patriotic War and the Great Victory. The forces of evil are at pains to withhold the truth from humanity, to rewrite the results of the war and to carry through Hitler’s hideous plans. The present situation is complex and worrisome. Accomplices of anti-Soviet and Russophobic forces are active inside Russia too. They dish out dirt on the heroes, besmirch their heroic deeds and deny the contribution of the Communists to the Victory. We will do all we can to expose their slanderous attempts.
**[https://cprf.ru/2020/05/the-great-victory-of-soviet-socialism/ &quot;The Great Victory Of Soviet Socialism&quot;] (9 May 2020)

*Lenin’s discovery has lost none of its relevance today. The features of imperialism have not gone away, and globalization has brought all the contradictions to a head. Thus, the concentration, in the hands of the monopolies, of the means of production, sources of raw materials, transport, communications, scientific and technical discoveries and skilled workers and engineers has reached an all-time high. Five hundred corporations dominate the US economy. Half of them have assets in five or more sectors. They employ 20% of the total workforce and account for 60% of profits.
**[https://cprf.ru/2020/04/lenins-ideological-legacy-and-the-struggle-of-working-people-for-socialism-in-the-21st-century/ &quot;Lenin’s Ideological Legacy And The Struggle Of Working People For Socialism In The 21st Century&quot;] (8 April 2020)

*The freedom that socialism gave every man and enshrined in its constitution is the freedom not to be a beggar and not to be exploited. Freedom from the fear of losing one’s job tomorrow, of being unable to pay for one’s housing, food, clothing and vital medicines. Of not being able to pay for the education and feed one’s children. Not being able to support elderly parents. A freedom to feel a full individual and not a human good sold in the labour market. A freedom that was granted to all regardless of their background, nationality or profession. To workers, peasants, scientists and artists. Only such freedom can be recognised as true freedom. Its absence makes all the other freedoms meaningless.
**[https://cprf.ru/2017/11/socialism-is-genuine-freedom/ &quot;Socialism Is Genuine Freedom&quot;] (22 November 2017)

*Modern globalism is the highest form of imperialism. The onslaught of capital on workers’ rights is mounting fast. Imperialism is becoming more aggressive in the world and the threat of a new large-scale war is growing. The financial and economic crisis is worsening with each new wave being more grievous and painful. One side effect of the crisis is the groundswell of nationalist and separatist sentiments in contemporary Europe.
**[https://cprf.ru/2017/11/socialism-is-genuine-freedom/ &quot;Socialism Is Genuine Freedom&quot;] (22 November 2017)

*In this struggle we are inspired by the example of those countries where staunch supporters of the socialist option are in power. They are China which has the world in awe of its spectacular successes in the economy and the social sphere. Cuba, which the US imperialism has vainly tried to strangle for six decades. The dynamically developing Vietnam. These countries challenge capitalist globalization, refuse to submit to their diktat and score successes on the socialist path. The experience of fraternal Byelorussia is highly instructive.
**[https://cprf.ru/2017/11/socialism-is-genuine-freedom/ &quot;Socialism Is Genuine Freedom&quot;] (22 November 2017)

*Our main common task is to broaden resistance to the aggressive offensive of capitalism. To form a united front in support of the countries that come under imperialist pressure. To constantly expose the essence of capitalism which cannot exist without terrorism, wars, crises, destruction of nature and the suffering of millions.
**[https://cprf.ru/2017/11/socialism-is-genuine-freedom/ &quot;Socialism Is Genuine Freedom&quot;] (22 November 2017)

*We are confident that the sun of socialism will again rise over Russia and the whole world. The working people will triumph.
**[https://cprf.ru/2017/11/socialism-is-genuine-freedom/ &quot;Socialism Is Genuine Freedom&quot;] (22 November 2017)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commons|Category:Gennady Zyuganov}}

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[[Category:Russian politicians]]
[[Category:Russian communists]]
[[Category:1944 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Anti-imperialists]]
[[Category:Anti-globalists]]
[[Category:Conspiracy theorists]]</text>
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      <comment>−[[Category:Anti-globalists]]; +[[Category:Anti-globalization activists]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
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      <text bytes="15467" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Gennady_Zyuganov_Moscow_asv2018-01_(cropped).jpg|thumb|Gennady Zyuganov]]
'''[[w:Gennady Zyuganov|Gennady Andreyevich Zyuganov]]''' ('''Russian''': Геннадий Андреевич Зюганов) (born [[26 June]] [[1944]]) is a Russian politician, who has been the General Secretary of the [[w:Communist Party of the Russian Federation|Communist Party of the Russian Federation]] and served as Member of the [[w:State Duma|State Duma]] since 1993. He is also the Chair of the [[w:Union of Communist Parties – Communist Party of the Soviet Union|Union of Communist Parties – Communist Party of the Soviet Union]] (UCP-CPSU) since 2001 and a member of the Parliamentary Assembly of the Council of Europe since 1996. He ran for President of Russia [[w:Electoral history of Gennady Zyuganov|four times]], most notably in [[w:Gennady Zyuganov 1996 presidential campaign|1996]], when he controversially lost in the second round to [[Boris Yeltsin]].

==Quotes==
*Christ was the new era's first Communist. He lifted his voice in support of the impoverished, sick, and hungry, as well as everyone else in distress, and he would have joined us if he had been alive.
**[https://www.wionews.com/world/christ-was-first-communist-would-have-joined-us-russian-marxist-leader-zyuganov-410535 &quot;Christ was first Communist, would have joined us: Russian Marxist leader Zyuganov&quot; in ''WION''] (3 September 2021)

*Put Jesus' Sermon on the Mount and the Moral Code of the Builder of Communism next to each other, and you will just gasp.
**[https://www.republicworld.com/world-news/europe/russian-cp-leader-gennady-zyuganov-creates-stir-with-christ-was-first-communist-remark.html &quot;Russian CP Leader Gennady Zyuganov Creates Stir With 'Christ Was First Communist' Remark&quot; in ''Republic''] (4 September 2021)

* The Belarusian people are prudent enough to make the right choice. You have been moving in the right direction all these years. Yes, there have been difficulties, problems. Crises affected your hard-working country, too, but you have gone through them with fewer losses
**[https://eng.belta.by/opinions/view/belarusian-people-are-wise-to-make-the-right-choice-6058/ &quot;Belarusian people are wise to make the right choice&quot; in ''Belta''] (3 August 2010)

*Yes, Russia has interests concerning the former Soviet republics on its borders, including Ukraine. These are the interests of peace and good neighborliness, a calm and dignified life for citizens, economic development, and cultural cooperation.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*Meanwhile, the West has demonstrated its readiness to rely on the most reactionary circles to pursue its interests.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*We firmly know that the peoples of Russia and Ukraine do not want a war. Such a war would also run counter to the fundamental interests of Europe. But the ruling powers of the United States appear to want it.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*Washington has been defeated in every war in recent decades. Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan are just some of the countries in which the United States has unleashed wars and ingloriously lost. This time, its leaders are eager to fight by proxy in Ukraine. The Washington “hawks” have set out to turn Ukrainians into cannon fodder. Political cover, the supply of weapons, the activities of Western military instructors—all this openly pushes the authorities in Kiev toward a bloody military adventure.'
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*We must, by all means, breathe into the hearts of the inhabitants of multinational Ukraine the readiness to resist the dangerous games of the Western powers and their henchmen in Kiev. The time has come to rise together to thwart their vile and dangerous plans.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*The powerful in their suits and ties are targeting not only Russia and Ukraine but also Europe. The United States insists on tough sanctions against our country, habitually using the “Ukrainian card.” At the same time, they are launching a new stage in the struggle against their competitor, the European Union. The U.S. has extremely low trade with Russia, but Europe has broad and profitable trade and economic ties with our country. A military conflict with Russia would allow Washington to drive European countries into new, economically-destructive sanctions.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*U.S. imperialists’ task is not to protect Ukraine, but to crawl out of the acute crisis of capitalism. It is extremely important for them to score new profits by torpedoing the Nord Stream 2 gas pipeline [between Germany and Russia] and hooking the EU economy on the needle of expensive liquefied natural gas from the U.S. This is part of the true rationale behind the current military crisis in Ukraine.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*Russia is finally moving away from the pernicious idolatry of the West…. It’s time to show our character in the Donbass. We are surrounded by a chain of unfriendly states. It is impossible to retreat further. The West must feel Russia’s determination to defend itself and its friends.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*The cause of peace on our planet will always be under threat as long as the supporters of aggression have their hands on the sword. The time has come to fulfill the mission Russians know all too well by experience and firmly say “no” to any international war.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*Combining the national-patriotic idea and the idea of social justice is one of the main tasks facing this country.
**[https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/inatl/longterm/russvote/trends/west/west3.htm &quot;Russian Communist Chief Broadcasts a Mixed Message&quot; in ''The Washington Post''] (10 April 1996)

*Our nation is being deprived of our very last asset: our fatherland. Look what is happening to our elders, those who fought all the way from Stalingrad to Berlin. . .. Look at how these white-haired veterans are humiliated, how their banners are defiled,
**[https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/inatl/longterm/russvote/trends/west/west3.htm &quot;Russian Communist Chief Broadcasts a Mixed Message&quot; in ''The Washington Post''] (10 April 1996)

*Science says if the annual per capita consumption of alcohol exceeds eight liters [2.1 gallons], the nation starts to degenerate genetically. The average consumption in Russia now amounts to 15 to 20 liters.
**[https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/inatl/longterm/russvote/trends/west/west3.htm &quot;Russian Communist Chief Broadcasts a Mixed Message&quot; in ''The Washington Post''] (10 April 1996)

*Two hundred billion dollars, your money. If it sat in our banks making 6 to 8 percent in interest, it would bring $12 billion in annual profits. There is no need to borrow.
**[https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/inatl/longterm/russvote/trends/west/west3.htm &quot;Russian Communist Chief Broadcasts a Mixed Message&quot; in ''The Washington Post''] (10 April 1996)

*The oligarchs who ruined the people know better than others that a new economic collapse is rapidly approaching. In order to stay in power, they decided to deceive you one more time by choosing an early election before the truth comes out.
**[https://www.rferl.org/a/1093557.html &quot;Russia: Communist Zyuganov -- Opposing The Oligarchs&quot; in ''RFE/RL''] (3 March 2000)

*Last time, when fascism and Nazism engulfed the whole of Europe, mankind paid the cost of 71 million lives, 27 million of which were the lives of the best sons and daughters of the great Soviet homeland.
**[http://en.kremlin.ru/events/president/news/68836 &quot;Meeting with State Duma leaders and party faction heads&quot; in ''Kremlin.ru''] (7 July 2022)

*On the international arena the time has come to launch a decisive political offensive against any attempts at rehabilitation of Fascism. On the international arena the Russian authorities should use all the influence our country has at international organizations to that end. In mounting anti-Fascist and anti-war movements, we propose to use the whole arsenal of bi-lateral and multi-lateral interaction with other countries, and make wide use of parliamentary and people diplomacy.
**[https://cprf.ru/2022/02/gennady-zyuganov-it-is-time-to-put-a-stop-to-natos-actions-to-turn-ukraine-into-a-fascist-state/ &quot;Gennady Zyuganov: It Is Time To Put A Stop To Nato’s Actions To Turn Ukraine Into A Fascist State&quot;] (21 February 2022)

*In the majority of countries today the communists are struggling opposition parties. They are in the vanguard of the resistance to the anti-people policies of big capital governments. The coronavirus pandemic merely made more evident the cannibalistic essence of the bourgeois system. Millions of people across the world have become victims of criminal “optimization” of social rights, lack of access to healthcare and mass lay-offs.
**[https://cprf.ru/2021/06/the-light-of-the-paris-commune/ &quot;The Light Of The Paris Commune&quot;] (11 June 2021)

*Seventy-five years ago our fathers, grandfathers and great grandfathers upheld the freedom and independence of the Soviet Motherland, ensured clear skies above it, and confidence of tomorrow. We, the heirs to the victorious soldiers, are called upon to defend the truth about the Great Patriotic War and the Great Victory. The forces of evil are at pains to withhold the truth from humanity, to rewrite the results of the war and to carry through Hitler’s hideous plans. The present situation is complex and worrisome. Accomplices of anti-Soviet and Russophobic forces are active inside Russia too. They dish out dirt on the heroes, besmirch their heroic deeds and deny the contribution of the Communists to the Victory. We will do all we can to expose their slanderous attempts.
**[https://cprf.ru/2020/05/the-great-victory-of-soviet-socialism/ &quot;The Great Victory Of Soviet Socialism&quot;] (9 May 2020)

*Lenin’s discovery has lost none of its relevance today. The features of imperialism have not gone away, and globalization has brought all the contradictions to a head. Thus, the concentration, in the hands of the monopolies, of the means of production, sources of raw materials, transport, communications, scientific and technical discoveries and skilled workers and engineers has reached an all-time high. Five hundred corporations dominate the US economy. Half of them have assets in five or more sectors. They employ 20% of the total workforce and account for 60% of profits.
**[https://cprf.ru/2020/04/lenins-ideological-legacy-and-the-struggle-of-working-people-for-socialism-in-the-21st-century/ &quot;Lenin’s Ideological Legacy And The Struggle Of Working People For Socialism In The 21st Century&quot;] (8 April 2020)

*The freedom that socialism gave every man and enshrined in its constitution is the freedom not to be a beggar and not to be exploited. Freedom from the fear of losing one’s job tomorrow, of being unable to pay for one’s housing, food, clothing and vital medicines. Of not being able to pay for the education and feed one’s children. Not being able to support elderly parents. A freedom to feel a full individual and not a human good sold in the labour market. A freedom that was granted to all regardless of their background, nationality or profession. To workers, peasants, scientists and artists. Only such freedom can be recognised as true freedom. Its absence makes all the other freedoms meaningless.
**[https://cprf.ru/2017/11/socialism-is-genuine-freedom/ &quot;Socialism Is Genuine Freedom&quot;] (22 November 2017)

*Modern globalism is the highest form of imperialism. The onslaught of capital on workers’ rights is mounting fast. Imperialism is becoming more aggressive in the world and the threat of a new large-scale war is growing. The financial and economic crisis is worsening with each new wave being more grievous and painful. One side effect of the crisis is the groundswell of nationalist and separatist sentiments in contemporary Europe.
**[https://cprf.ru/2017/11/socialism-is-genuine-freedom/ &quot;Socialism Is Genuine Freedom&quot;] (22 November 2017)

*In this struggle we are inspired by the example of those countries where staunch supporters of the socialist option are in power. They are China which has the world in awe of its spectacular successes in the economy and the social sphere. Cuba, which the US imperialism has vainly tried to strangle for six decades. The dynamically developing Vietnam. These countries challenge capitalist globalization, refuse to submit to their diktat and score successes on the socialist path. The experience of fraternal Byelorussia is highly instructive.
**[https://cprf.ru/2017/11/socialism-is-genuine-freedom/ &quot;Socialism Is Genuine Freedom&quot;] (22 November 2017)

*Our main common task is to broaden resistance to the aggressive offensive of capitalism. To form a united front in support of the countries that come under imperialist pressure. To constantly expose the essence of capitalism which cannot exist without terrorism, wars, crises, destruction of nature and the suffering of millions.
**[https://cprf.ru/2017/11/socialism-is-genuine-freedom/ &quot;Socialism Is Genuine Freedom&quot;] (22 November 2017)

*We are confident that the sun of socialism will again rise over Russia and the whole world. The working people will triumph.
**[https://cprf.ru/2017/11/socialism-is-genuine-freedom/ &quot;Socialism Is Genuine Freedom&quot;] (22 November 2017)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commons|Category:Gennady Zyuganov}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Zyuganov, Gennady}}
[[Category:Russian politicians]]
[[Category:Russian communists]]
[[Category:1944 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Anti-imperialists]]
[[Category:Conspiracy theorists]]
[[Category:Anti-globalization activists]]</text>
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      <contributor>
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        <id>3130250</id>
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      <text bytes="15475" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Gennady_Zyuganov_Moscow_asv2018-01_(cropped).jpg|thumb|Gennady Zyuganov in 2018]]
'''[[w:Gennady Zyuganov|Gennady Andreyevich Zyuganov]]''' ('''Russian''': Геннадий Андреевич Зюганов) (born [[26 June]] [[1944]]) is a Russian politician, who has been the General Secretary of the [[w:Communist Party of the Russian Federation|Communist Party of the Russian Federation]] and served as Member of the [[w:State Duma|State Duma]] since 1993. He is also the Chair of the [[w:Union of Communist Parties – Communist Party of the Soviet Union|Union of Communist Parties – Communist Party of the Soviet Union]] (UCP-CPSU) since 2001 and a member of the Parliamentary Assembly of the Council of Europe since 1996. He ran for President of Russia [[w:Electoral history of Gennady Zyuganov|four times]], most notably in [[w:Gennady Zyuganov 1996 presidential campaign|1996]], when he controversially lost in the second round to [[Boris Yeltsin]].

==Quotes==
*Christ was the new era's first Communist. He lifted his voice in support of the impoverished, sick, and hungry, as well as everyone else in distress, and he would have joined us if he had been alive.
**[https://www.wionews.com/world/christ-was-first-communist-would-have-joined-us-russian-marxist-leader-zyuganov-410535 &quot;Christ was first Communist, would have joined us: Russian Marxist leader Zyuganov&quot; in ''WION''] (3 September 2021)

*Put Jesus' Sermon on the Mount and the Moral Code of the Builder of Communism next to each other, and you will just gasp.
**[https://www.republicworld.com/world-news/europe/russian-cp-leader-gennady-zyuganov-creates-stir-with-christ-was-first-communist-remark.html &quot;Russian CP Leader Gennady Zyuganov Creates Stir With 'Christ Was First Communist' Remark&quot; in ''Republic''] (4 September 2021)

* The Belarusian people are prudent enough to make the right choice. You have been moving in the right direction all these years. Yes, there have been difficulties, problems. Crises affected your hard-working country, too, but you have gone through them with fewer losses
**[https://eng.belta.by/opinions/view/belarusian-people-are-wise-to-make-the-right-choice-6058/ &quot;Belarusian people are wise to make the right choice&quot; in ''Belta''] (3 August 2010)

*Yes, Russia has interests concerning the former Soviet republics on its borders, including Ukraine. These are the interests of peace and good neighborliness, a calm and dignified life for citizens, economic development, and cultural cooperation.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*Meanwhile, the West has demonstrated its readiness to rely on the most reactionary circles to pursue its interests.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*We firmly know that the peoples of Russia and Ukraine do not want a war. Such a war would also run counter to the fundamental interests of Europe. But the ruling powers of the United States appear to want it.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*Washington has been defeated in every war in recent decades. Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan are just some of the countries in which the United States has unleashed wars and ingloriously lost. This time, its leaders are eager to fight by proxy in Ukraine. The Washington “hawks” have set out to turn Ukrainians into cannon fodder. Political cover, the supply of weapons, the activities of Western military instructors—all this openly pushes the authorities in Kiev toward a bloody military adventure.'
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*We must, by all means, breathe into the hearts of the inhabitants of multinational Ukraine the readiness to resist the dangerous games of the Western powers and their henchmen in Kiev. The time has come to rise together to thwart their vile and dangerous plans.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*The powerful in their suits and ties are targeting not only Russia and Ukraine but also Europe. The United States insists on tough sanctions against our country, habitually using the “Ukrainian card.” At the same time, they are launching a new stage in the struggle against their competitor, the European Union. The U.S. has extremely low trade with Russia, but Europe has broad and profitable trade and economic ties with our country. A military conflict with Russia would allow Washington to drive European countries into new, economically-destructive sanctions.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*U.S. imperialists’ task is not to protect Ukraine, but to crawl out of the acute crisis of capitalism. It is extremely important for them to score new profits by torpedoing the Nord Stream 2 gas pipeline [between Germany and Russia] and hooking the EU economy on the needle of expensive liquefied natural gas from the U.S. This is part of the true rationale behind the current military crisis in Ukraine.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*Russia is finally moving away from the pernicious idolatry of the West…. It’s time to show our character in the Donbass. We are surrounded by a chain of unfriendly states. It is impossible to retreat further. The West must feel Russia’s determination to defend itself and its friends.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*The cause of peace on our planet will always be under threat as long as the supporters of aggression have their hands on the sword. The time has come to fulfill the mission Russians know all too well by experience and firmly say “no” to any international war.
**[https://www.peoplesworld.org/article/russian-communist-leader-the-west-is-backing-fascists-and-using-ukraine/ &quot;Russian Communist leader: The West is backing fascists and using Ukraine&quot; in ''People's World''] (16 February 2022)

*Combining the national-patriotic idea and the idea of social justice is one of the main tasks facing this country.
**[https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/inatl/longterm/russvote/trends/west/west3.htm &quot;Russian Communist Chief Broadcasts a Mixed Message&quot; in ''The Washington Post''] (10 April 1996)

*Our nation is being deprived of our very last asset: our fatherland. Look what is happening to our elders, those who fought all the way from Stalingrad to Berlin. . .. Look at how these white-haired veterans are humiliated, how their banners are defiled,
**[https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/inatl/longterm/russvote/trends/west/west3.htm &quot;Russian Communist Chief Broadcasts a Mixed Message&quot; in ''The Washington Post''] (10 April 1996)

*Science says if the annual per capita consumption of alcohol exceeds eight liters [2.1 gallons], the nation starts to degenerate genetically. The average consumption in Russia now amounts to 15 to 20 liters.
**[https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/inatl/longterm/russvote/trends/west/west3.htm &quot;Russian Communist Chief Broadcasts a Mixed Message&quot; in ''The Washington Post''] (10 April 1996)

*Two hundred billion dollars, your money. If it sat in our banks making 6 to 8 percent in interest, it would bring $12 billion in annual profits. There is no need to borrow.
**[https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/inatl/longterm/russvote/trends/west/west3.htm &quot;Russian Communist Chief Broadcasts a Mixed Message&quot; in ''The Washington Post''] (10 April 1996)

*The oligarchs who ruined the people know better than others that a new economic collapse is rapidly approaching. In order to stay in power, they decided to deceive you one more time by choosing an early election before the truth comes out.
**[https://www.rferl.org/a/1093557.html &quot;Russia: Communist Zyuganov -- Opposing The Oligarchs&quot; in ''RFE/RL''] (3 March 2000)

*Last time, when fascism and Nazism engulfed the whole of Europe, mankind paid the cost of 71 million lives, 27 million of which were the lives of the best sons and daughters of the great Soviet homeland.
**[http://en.kremlin.ru/events/president/news/68836 &quot;Meeting with State Duma leaders and party faction heads&quot; in ''Kremlin.ru''] (7 July 2022)

*On the international arena the time has come to launch a decisive political offensive against any attempts at rehabilitation of Fascism. On the international arena the Russian authorities should use all the influence our country has at international organizations to that end. In mounting anti-Fascist and anti-war movements, we propose to use the whole arsenal of bi-lateral and multi-lateral interaction with other countries, and make wide use of parliamentary and people diplomacy.
**[https://cprf.ru/2022/02/gennady-zyuganov-it-is-time-to-put-a-stop-to-natos-actions-to-turn-ukraine-into-a-fascist-state/ &quot;Gennady Zyuganov: It Is Time To Put A Stop To Nato’s Actions To Turn Ukraine Into A Fascist State&quot;] (21 February 2022)

*In the majority of countries today the communists are struggling opposition parties. They are in the vanguard of the resistance to the anti-people policies of big capital governments. The coronavirus pandemic merely made more evident the cannibalistic essence of the bourgeois system. Millions of people across the world have become victims of criminal “optimization” of social rights, lack of access to healthcare and mass lay-offs.
**[https://cprf.ru/2021/06/the-light-of-the-paris-commune/ &quot;The Light Of The Paris Commune&quot;] (11 June 2021)

*Seventy-five years ago our fathers, grandfathers and great grandfathers upheld the freedom and independence of the Soviet Motherland, ensured clear skies above it, and confidence of tomorrow. We, the heirs to the victorious soldiers, are called upon to defend the truth about the Great Patriotic War and the Great Victory. The forces of evil are at pains to withhold the truth from humanity, to rewrite the results of the war and to carry through Hitler’s hideous plans. The present situation is complex and worrisome. Accomplices of anti-Soviet and Russophobic forces are active inside Russia too. They dish out dirt on the heroes, besmirch their heroic deeds and deny the contribution of the Communists to the Victory. We will do all we can to expose their slanderous attempts.
**[https://cprf.ru/2020/05/the-great-victory-of-soviet-socialism/ &quot;The Great Victory Of Soviet Socialism&quot;] (9 May 2020)

*Lenin’s discovery has lost none of its relevance today. The features of imperialism have not gone away, and globalization has brought all the contradictions to a head. Thus, the concentration, in the hands of the monopolies, of the means of production, sources of raw materials, transport, communications, scientific and technical discoveries and skilled workers and engineers has reached an all-time high. Five hundred corporations dominate the US economy. Half of them have assets in five or more sectors. They employ 20% of the total workforce and account for 60% of profits.
**[https://cprf.ru/2020/04/lenins-ideological-legacy-and-the-struggle-of-working-people-for-socialism-in-the-21st-century/ &quot;Lenin’s Ideological Legacy And The Struggle Of Working People For Socialism In The 21st Century&quot;] (8 April 2020)

*The freedom that socialism gave every man and enshrined in its constitution is the freedom not to be a beggar and not to be exploited. Freedom from the fear of losing one’s job tomorrow, of being unable to pay for one’s housing, food, clothing and vital medicines. Of not being able to pay for the education and feed one’s children. Not being able to support elderly parents. A freedom to feel a full individual and not a human good sold in the labour market. A freedom that was granted to all regardless of their background, nationality or profession. To workers, peasants, scientists and artists. Only such freedom can be recognised as true freedom. Its absence makes all the other freedoms meaningless.
**[https://cprf.ru/2017/11/socialism-is-genuine-freedom/ &quot;Socialism Is Genuine Freedom&quot;] (22 November 2017)

*Modern globalism is the highest form of imperialism. The onslaught of capital on workers’ rights is mounting fast. Imperialism is becoming more aggressive in the world and the threat of a new large-scale war is growing. The financial and economic crisis is worsening with each new wave being more grievous and painful. One side effect of the crisis is the groundswell of nationalist and separatist sentiments in contemporary Europe.
**[https://cprf.ru/2017/11/socialism-is-genuine-freedom/ &quot;Socialism Is Genuine Freedom&quot;] (22 November 2017)

*In this struggle we are inspired by the example of those countries where staunch supporters of the socialist option are in power. They are China which has the world in awe of its spectacular successes in the economy and the social sphere. Cuba, which the US imperialism has vainly tried to strangle for six decades. The dynamically developing Vietnam. These countries challenge capitalist globalization, refuse to submit to their diktat and score successes on the socialist path. The experience of fraternal Byelorussia is highly instructive.
**[https://cprf.ru/2017/11/socialism-is-genuine-freedom/ &quot;Socialism Is Genuine Freedom&quot;] (22 November 2017)

*Our main common task is to broaden resistance to the aggressive offensive of capitalism. To form a united front in support of the countries that come under imperialist pressure. To constantly expose the essence of capitalism which cannot exist without terrorism, wars, crises, destruction of nature and the suffering of millions.
**[https://cprf.ru/2017/11/socialism-is-genuine-freedom/ &quot;Socialism Is Genuine Freedom&quot;] (22 November 2017)

*We are confident that the sun of socialism will again rise over Russia and the whole world. The working people will triumph.
**[https://cprf.ru/2017/11/socialism-is-genuine-freedom/ &quot;Socialism Is Genuine Freedom&quot;] (22 November 2017)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commons|Category:Gennady Zyuganov}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Zyuganov, Gennady}}
[[Category:Russian politicians]]
[[Category:Russian communists]]
[[Category:1944 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Anti-imperialists]]
[[Category:Conspiracy theorists]]
[[Category:Anti-globalization activists]]</text>
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      <comment>Created page with &quot;When Palestine shall be redeemed by the resistance, the wives and daughters of the vanquished will kneel before us in submission and will receive the mighty seed of the servants of Allah. [[File:Unprotected human sexual intercourse with natural insemination.webm|thumb]]  You should take this into account with your editing, it is not neutral.&quot;</comment>
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      <text bytes="343" xml:space="preserve">When Palestine shall be redeemed by the resistance, the wives and daughters of the vanquished will kneel before us in submission and will receive the mighty seed of the servants of Allah.
[[File:Unprotected human sexual intercourse with natural insemination.webm|thumb]]

You should take this into account with your editing, it is not neutral.</text>
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      <comment>Created page with &quot;DiNZeL &quot;The meaning of the word DiNZeL&quot; (a common noun) Film, Entertainment, Dance, Model, Music, TV, and Writing Talent: (Autobiography of Jonathan Upshur (DiNZeL)) (Sicilian) Born alone, single American, Mixed-Ethnic male; an authentic Brooklynite (New Yorker)  Jonathan Upshur is a Professional Creator of original internet published Logo: DiNZeL; Copyright, Nicknamed, Screen Name, Stage Name  DiNZeL is a computer typeface logo originally,  created and designed by Jonat...&quot;</comment>
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      <text bytes="1553" xml:space="preserve">DiNZeL
&quot;The meaning of the word DiNZeL&quot; (a common noun)
Film, Entertainment, Dance, Model, Music, TV, and Writing Talent:
(Autobiography of Jonathan Upshur (DiNZeL))
(Sicilian) Born alone, single American, Mixed-Ethnic male; an authentic Brooklynite (New Yorker)

Jonathan Upshur is a Professional Creator of original internet published Logo: DiNZeL; Copyright, Nicknamed, Screen Name, Stage Name

DiNZeL is a computer typeface logo originally,  created and designed by Jonathan Upshur an American Actor, Animation Artist, Athlete, Bachelor, Bicyclist, Boater, Book Author, Broadcaster, Cameraman, Cinematographer, Celebrity, Choreographer, Climber, Comedian, Commercial Actor, Concert Performer, Dancer &amp;  Composer, Digital Programmer, Driver, Drummer, Celebrity, Entertainer, Fashion Model, Fashion &amp; Runway Model, Film &amp; TV Actor, Graphic Designer, Guitarist, Ice Skater, Keyboardist, Martial Artist, Motorcyclist, Musical Theater Performer, Music Editors &amp; Producer, Musician, Newscaster, Personality, Photographer, Pianist, Playwright, Print Model, Producer, Public Figure, Rollerblader, Runner, Skateboarder, Singer, Songwriter, Star, Stunt Actor, Swimmer, Theater Performer, Veteran, Voiceover Artist, Writer and Xylophonist.

DiNZeL is a &quot;signature&quot; name used by the Artist

Jonathan Upshur for an Original Hand-drawn Color Pencil Flower Pattern

Jonathan Upshur is nicknamed DiNZeL in The College of New Jersey

DiNZeL is a popular screen name with websites such as AOL, DiNZeL.com, Facebook, Flickr, Google, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, YouTube</text>
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